AND I HATE THE FACT THAT I MISSED OUT ON A WEEK OF BETTERING MYSELF AND BUILDING MYSELF UP ALL BECAUSE I DECIDED TO LOWER MY STANDARDS THATS NOT AND YOU KNOW WHAT ITS NOT HOW ITS GOING TO BE ANYMORE PERIOD ITS NOT IM OVER IT IM NOT GOING TO SIT AND AND WALLOW IN SELFPITY AND AND HONESTLY IM NOT GONNA LIE FOR A MOMENT THATS EXACTLY WHAT I DID ITS EXACTLY WHAT I DID AND IT DIDNT FEEL GOOD LIKE AT ALL I HATED IT 