 She was the second eldest of five children to parents Nora and Tadg Herlihy, who had migrated to the United Kingdom from Cork, Ireland.She married Christopher Martin Hay and in 1982 they migrated with their four children to Wollongong, New South Wales.Hay enrolled in Wollongong TAFE and subsequently found employment with the NSW Home Care Service, caring for the elderly and bedridden in Wollongong's outer suburbs.