 HR counselors aim to get couples to consider that each one's own feelings are not determined by one's partner and that the great majority of issues that previously snarled their interactions were based on insecure, negative, and conditioned thinking.HR counselors further suggest that every person goes through emotional ups and downs and that one's thinking in a "down" mood is likely to be distorted.HR teaches that it is generally counterproductive to try to "talk through" relationship problems when the partners are in a bad mood.