 In another letter to her mother, she wrote that her duties were "more than she could stand in the long run".She was distressed by a rumour that she was once unkind to Louis's aunt, Grand Duchess Mathilde Caroline, and she was hurt by an unkind letter from Queen Victoria.Alice complained to Louis that the letter "made me cry with anger...I wish I were dead and it probably will not be too long before I give Mama that pleasure."