Be supportive by lending a non-judgmental ear. Tell your friend honestly what you are feeling and that you are honored he or she chose to confide in you. Either one of you might want to talk to a counselor or do some reading about how to communicate on this sensitive issue and ways to sort out your own feelings, fears and prejudices. Respect your friend's privacy and don't gossip about him or her. Your friend is probably feeling very isolated - take some time to hang out like you always have, and reassure him or her that you will be there, no matter what.
Here are some resources that you or your friend might find helpful.
Youth Resource is a web site created by and for LGBTQ young people 13 to 24 years old by Advocates for Youth (www.advocatesforyouth.org). It takes a holistic approach to sexual health by offering support, community, resources, and peer-to-peer education about issues of concern to LGBTQ young people. Youth Resource has four focus areas: health, advocacy, community, and issues in young people's lives.
National Youth Advocacy Coalition (NYAC) is a social justice organization that advocates for and with young people who are LGBTQ in an effort to end discrimination against these youth and ensure their physical and emotional well-being.
You might be surprised at your own reaction -- many of us have hidden biases that we are unaware of until situations bring them to the surface. There's an online test that can help you look at some of your inner assumptions about gays and lesbians. Remember that this is just a diagnostic tool -- use it as a jumping off point for conversations and further reflection.
The Matthew Shepard Foundation has a full listing of resources, including religious organizations that promote tolerance and acceptance.
TAKING ON HOMOPHOBIA AT SCHOOL
We all know that name-calling happens in school -- but sometimes homophobia creeps up in less obvious ways. Check out the following Tips from Youth Resource's Warren J. Blumenfeld on how to tackle some of these issues with your classmates and teachers:
Hold public meetings to access the needs, concerns, and life experiences of LGBTQ youth, their families, and school staff.
Work with your principal, teachers or guidance counselors to develop policies protecting LGBTQ students from harassment, violence, and discrimination.
Help to set up training for students and school personnel in violence prevention, suicide prevention, and the needs and problems faced by LGBTQ youth.
Create LGBTQ Support Groups like "Gay/Straight Alliances".
Make sure your counselors have training for handling issues facing LGBTQ youth and their families.
Talk with your librarian about making accurate, honest, up-to-date, and age-appropriate information on LGBTQ issues available. Also, include LGBTQ issues in your school newspapers.
Ask about ways LGBTQ issues might be part of your curriculum and school programs.
Ask about "out" LGBTQ faculty and staff to serve as supportive role models at school.
Educate yourself to the needs and experiences of LGBTQ youth and their families. Attend LGBTQ cultural and community events. Wear pro- LGBTQ buttons and T-shirts, and display posters. Interrupt homophobic jokes and epithets. Be aware of the generalizations you make. Assume there are LGBTQ people at your school. For sensitization, if you are heterosexual, notice the times you disclose your heterosexuality. Monitor politicians, the media, and organizations to ensure accurate coverage of LGBTQ issues. Use inclusive, affirming, or gender-neutral language when referring to sexuality and human relationships in every-day speech, on written forms, etc. Say the words "lesbian," "gay," "bisexual," "transgender" each day in a positive way.
SexSmarts is a partnership of seventeen and the Kaiser Family Foundation. We're here to provide you with information and resources on a range of sexual health issues, from decision making about sex, including how to say "no", to the real facts on HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).