she had shared a lot of things about her marriage ( that was what they called it , sharing , a word she found simultaneously hideous and apt ) in therapy circle at d amp ; s , but that was one little nugget she 'd kept to herself-how it felt to have the taped handle of a prince tennis racket jammed up your ass by a man who sat straddling you , with his knees on the outsides of your thighs ; how it felt to have him lean over and tell you that if you fought , he would break the water-glass on the table beside the bed and cut your throat with it .