the potential of a wasted life she could have been great , a prime minister or a musician or a- -astronaut or an engineer or- -a zookeeper or a beekeeper or a squidkeeper- -an actress or a porn star o- -or a ringmaster or a bodybuilder or a governor- -he could have been the hegemon or a general- -she could have explored the depths of- -psychologist or teache- -gravedigge- the people all flowed into her and she lost herself in them , and it became then an affliction of the spirit .