she held my hand in hers , and said to me with , oh , such infinite sweetness , 'my life is a barren and lonely one , and so full of work that i have not had much time for friendships , but since i have been summoned to here by my friend joan seward i have known so many good people and seen such nobility that i feel more than ever , and it has grown with my advancing years , the loneliness of my life .