he looked stupid in death , his jaw not only open but slackly hanging to one side , and that , as soon as she saw it , spoiled every memory she had of him , that she 'd foolishly thought she could keep inviolate ; she 'd thought , even , that by killing him , in some way , she 'd preserve the memory of that earlier , that better tarquinius , her own lauchme , when their marriage was freshly minted , before the shine had dulled .