the grandpas in myron 's day had the good sense not to talk much to one another , just discarding and picking up what was dealt , occasionally grumbling about a local sports team ; the grandmothers interrogated one another , measuring their own children and grandchildren against the competition , seeking an opponent 's weakness and any conversational opening to jab forward with tales of offspring heroics , no one really listening , just preparing for the next frontal assault , familial pride getting confused with self-worth and desperation .