his remembrances were all screwed up about this place-the derision blending with the nostalgia-but he also remembered coming here as a child for family dinners , his clip-on tie slightly askew , sent by mom into the inner sanctum of the men 's card room to find his grandfather , the undisputed family patriarch , the room reeking of cigar smoke , his pop-pop greeting him with a ferocious embrace , his gruff compatriots who wore golf shirts that were too loud and too tight , barely acknowledging the interloper because their own grandkids would do the same soon , the card game trickling down , participant by participant .