wasted bodies now little more than a defenseless battle zone for disease : kaposi 's sarcoma ; pneumocystis carinii ; lymphoblastic lymphoma ; fierce fevers over 105 degrees ; respiratory infections ; whole body systems collapsing ; mental deterioration ; delirium to the point of babbling like an alzheimer 's patient ; every breath an intolerable struggle ; lungs filling with fluid until a tube was shoved through the rib cage in order to drain them ; getting weaker before your eyes , so weak that even eating becomes impossible ; in and out of comas ; a handsome young face changing overnight into a haggard skull-mask ; healthy physiques disintegrating into little more than brittle bones with skin hanging off ; painful and unsightly purple lesions everywhere ; sores inside the mouth so thick that swallowing produces only choking sounds ; no control over bowel movements ; constant , inescapable agony ; eyes that can actually see death standing around the corner , waiting patiently to step forward and claim its conquest ... and the fear of the disease , the confusion , the discrimination .