memories of the past few weeks , memories that gabriel had been doing his best to press back into the very recesses of his mind , threatened to burst out into the light : weeks in the house after the servants had been sent away , hearing the noises coming from the upstairs rooms , screams in the night , blood on the stairs in the morning , father shouting gibberish from behind the locked library door , as if he could no longer form words in english ... `` if you are going to throw me out on the street , '' gabriel said , with a sort of terrible desperation , `` then do it now .