and she puts something in my mouth , something i have to take , something i need , do i need it , really do i need it or will it kill me , what can i do , and now shes holding my arm up and im trying to get up from the bed but for some reason i cant , shes holding my hand and stroking it and it feels good i want to get up , i do have control , i want to get up and stroke her and hold her in my arms , to touch her and to feel her and kiss her , to gently undress her and caress her body , to make love to her slowly , quickly , painfully , to rip the folds of her skin and see the blood flow , to tear her hair out and make her scream , to rip her head of and let me go ! ! !