i shudder inside , even as i say it , even as i see her hand twitch , and reach nervously to her face , shes really going to do it , what then what if i rip her apart too , and im about to stop her , to say no , please dont when of course she doesnt of course , of course , she doesnt , and im about to laugh when suddenly she whips it away and im faced with her , and yes , i can remember , i can feel what im doing , im here and she really is beautiful with short , dark hair , and eyes that are black and a face that is so white , so pure that she takes my breath away , literally , for im up , i can feel it this time , i can feel my hands turning into claws , and im lunging forward and jesus it hurts oh no it hurts , please stop , whatever you are doing , please .