i can feel the sweat on my face , in my hair , soaking through my clothes , i can feel my heart beating so fast its trying to escape from my chest , i can feel my body shake , i can feel my skin crawl and my stomach retch , i can hear it breath , still , beyond the heartbeat in my ears , in my soul , i can see but i cant see my vision is blurry it takes time , i cant really understand and then i do and i stare in front of me to see his face , tormenting me but hes not , hes not there , i dont know why , and it takes me a couple of seconds , a few minutes more , maybe an hour or two until my vision is clear and i can hear again , and when i do i understand that actually i am alone , in this room , that he has really left and of course i wonder if this is good or bad as the artificial light fades slowly and the greyness becomes deeper , deeper until its black and im left there , in the darkness , in the black , in the noiseless void , until of course i cant resist anymore and the fear runs out of me , like an express train , like a rocket , and i shout , i scream , i shriek and i cry , and i cry and cry until i cant anymore until a shroud of red touches the black until shit , shit , shit and i notice hes actually crying , maybe hes feeling my pain , shit shit shit but the words echo through my head like a ball bouncing in the void thats left there , and every time he says it , it goes bang , and it hurts whatm i gon na do , man ?