<script>
  <scene />
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>...\_\_,.~. .,/\\</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Blades Of Glory By John Altschuler & Dave Krinsky Draft 09.13 .05 FADE IN:</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. FROZEN LAKE - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>A crisp winter day. Even though the sun is shining you can tell it's freezing by the clouds of steam coming from the mouth of an eleven year old, DARK HAIRED BOY. He's putting all he's got into pulling off a tough figure skating move. The boy pushes off with his back leg when -- SWIZZZZ WHOMP! He's hit! He drops to the ice and next to him lies what just smashed into him -- a hockey puck! We hear a loud cheer. The boy looks up and sees a pee-wee hockey team laughing and pointing at him. One kid is being congratulated for his marksmanship. The Dark Haired Boy gets up and gives the hockey players the finger. The hockey players can't believe what they're seeing. They are about to skate after him when a piercing whistle is blown summoning them back to practice. As they skate reluctantly away, the Dark Haired Boy starts skating in a circle and giving them the finger with both hands. He's pretty good as he incorporates the "fuck yous" into a figure skating routine. He's pointing at his ass, giving the finger, making "blow me" gestures and grabbing his crotch. He's really getting into it when he hears something.</scene_description>
    <character>THREE YEAR OLD BOY (O.S.)</character>
    <parenthetical>(giggles)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>The Dark Haired Boy turns and sees that he has been watched the whole time by a tiny THREE YEAR OLD BOY. The little tot is wearing little skates and he tries desperately to mimic the skating, bird shooting and crotch grabbing of the Dark Haired Boy. He quickly falls down, though, because he's so young. The tot struggles to his feet while trying to make the "Blow me" gesture.</dialogue>
    <character>DARK HAIRED BOY</character>
    <dialogue>Cut it out, kid, you're gonna bust your butt. And next time really jam your tongue into your cheek so they know it's a blow job taunt.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The Dark Haired Boy turns his back and starts to skate but notices that the three year old boy is still right behind him trying to skate like him.</scene_description>
    <character>DARK HAIRED BOY</character>
    <dialogue>Beat it, I've got to practice. I've got an important, like, audition thing.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The Dark Haired Boy skates off and segues into a nifty sitting spin. The tot skates after him, tries to spin but just slips and slides around. The older boy shakes his head.</scene_description>
    <character>DARK HAIRED BOY</character>
    <dialogue>Okay, Shorty, you want a quick lesson, you got it. I just hope you're carrying a full load in that diaper because this ice is hard.</dialogue>
    <character>THREE YEAR OLD BOY</character>
    <parenthetical>(giggles)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Poo poo.</dialogue>
    <character>DARK HAIRED BOY</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, right. Now you need to keep your right leg straight and get into more of a crouch.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The Dark Haired Boy does the move slowly and the little kid follows. The Dark Haired Boy is impressed.</scene_description>
    <character>DARK HAIRED BOY</character>
    <dialogue>That's good. Really good.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>- The little kid does it again. This time even better.</scene_description>
    <character>DARK HAIRED BOY</character>
    <dialogue>Damn. Okay, now push off so you have some momentum and see if you can spin all the way around.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The little kid nods and then with surprising force pushes off and gets in a crouch. He goes into a truly amazing spin ... The camera pushes in on the Dark Haired Boy's amazed face, then pushes in on the tot spinning. We cut from the boy to the tot, from the boy to the tot, then stay on the tot who keeps spinning and spinning ... MATCH DISSOLVE TO:</scene_description>
    <character>SPINNING SKATER</character>
    <dialogue>The skater comes out of the spin with a flourish and we get our first good look at JIMMY MACELROY, 26, wide-eyed and beaming. We are</dialogue>
    <character>SUPERIMPOSE:</character>
    <dialogue>WORLD WINTER GAMES, MUNICH, GERMANY, 2002</dialogue>
    <scene_description>We hear that haunting Native-American chant from Enigma's ,..\_,, "Return tco Innocence" as Jimmy continues his routine. His legs move with sublime grace and precision to the music. Each 4-count carries us into a new slow-mo shot: 1) A hushed crowd of thousands hangs on every movement. It's a sea of red, white, and blue. 2) Jimmy's pelvis: covered by crotch-hugging white Spandex pants. A gold lame' sash tied around his waist flaps in the breeze as he gains speed. 3) STRANZ and FAIRCHILD VAN WALDENBERG, a skating team dressed like a Greaser and a Bobby Soxer. They're paying no attention to Jimmy, just whispering and laughing with each other, for all the world looking like a skating pair that is also very much in love. PAN OVER to see their sister, KATIE VAN WALDENBERG, 30's, watching Jimmy skate. She has several Team Van Waldenberg bags draped over her shoulders but is transfixed by Jimmy's performance. 4) HECTOR - Even more transfixed. We can tell he's a Jimmy fan because the scrap-book he's holding has a large gaudy picture of Jimmy as its cover. He smiles contentedly and waves a large pair of scissors in the air as Jimmy skates by. 5) Jimmy's torso: clad in a native-american vest with turquoise beadwork. The open neck exposes a baby smooth chest covered in glitter. 6) COACH, a bear of a man in his 50's, cheers his Skater on. 7) Jimmy's magnificent ass: could be the work of Michelangelo.</scene_description>
    <character>WIDE ON</character>
    <dialogue>Jimmy from behind. He launches into a triple axel and spins fluidly through the air three times. He comes out of the spin at REGULAR SPEED in a perfect, one-footed landing. He strikes his final pose -- the crows erupts in cheers.</dialogue>
    <character>SCOTT HAMILTON (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>Classic Jimmy Macelroy! Elegant with machine-like technical perfection.</dialogue>
    <character>INT. ANNOUNCERS' BOOTH - CONTINUOUS</character>
    <dialogue>DICK BUTTON and SCOTT HAMILTON sit in the booth. Behind them is written "2002 World Winter Games, Munich, Germany."</dialogue>
    <character>DICK BUTTON</character>
    <dialogue>What a performance! Dare I say a "golden" performance?</dialogue>
    <character>SCOTT HAMILTON</character>
    <parenthetical>(tersely)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Don't award that medal just yet, because Chazz Lewis still hasn't skated. Lewis and Macelroy have been neck and neck all season. Over the last six competitions, Jimmy won three and Chazz won three.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>This just makes Dick even more jubilant.</scene_description>
    <character>DICK BUTTON</character>
    <dialogue>But only one is going home tonight as the world champion!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>A guy in a bear suit comes into the shot. It's the jolliest bear you've ever seen; he's multi-colored and is wearing lederhosen and a Tyrolean hat. Scott Hamilton seems less than thrilled with the furry interloper. Dick is delighted.</scene_description>
    <character>DICK BUTTON</character>
    <dialogue>If it isn't the living symbol of these World Games -- Spaetzle the Unity Bear! Tell us Spaetzle, who do you like in this classic Lewis-Macelroy match-up?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Spaetzle shrugs with gusto, then waves goofily to the camera.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. ARENA - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Jimmy rushes off the ice into Coach's arms. Coach is clearly pleased but tries to maintain his gruff demeanor.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Good job, Kid. But save the hugs for the groupies.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy can't hold in his excitement. He jumps up on a railing and waves to his adoring fans. As Jimmy points to various sections of cheering fans, DARREN MACELROY, Jimmy's dad, hops up next to him, grabs Jimmy's hand in his own and shakes it victoriously to the crowd. Darren gives Jimmy a wink and Jimmy can't help but smile. They step down and rejoin Coach.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I was so on it, Dad! It was like ... like ... you know when I did the triple axel? I felt like I could hit four! Wouldn't that have been awesome?!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Darren isn't smiling anymore.</scene_description>
    <character>DARREN</character>
    <dialogue>That would have been bullshit. You focus and follow through. That's how you win.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jirrnny nods obediently.</scene_description>
    <character>VOICE (O.C.)</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, Macelroy. Was that your routine or a Surrnner's Eve commercial?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jirrnny and Coach turn to face CHAZZ LEWIS, 35. He's dressed like a castoff from an '80s metal band: leopard-print pants, leather jacket, and calf-length skates made to look like leather boots. While every other skater has an entourage of coaches and family, Chazz is alone.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Lemme tell you something, Dr. Feelgood, that was textbook execution. Same way I beat you in Oslo.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy's high scores are announced. He pumps his fist very close to Chazz's face. Chazz goes nose to nose with him.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>If memory serves, I torched you and your books in Boston -- Huckleberry Finn style.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>It takes more than flash and devil music to win over these judges, Chazz. This is the World Games. The big one.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Well, I got another big one for ya right here, chump. Now get ready to suck it.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz rips off his leather coat, revealing a black vinyl vest with no shirt underneath. A sheriff's star is pinned to the vest. Chazz grabs a cowboy hat and hits the ice as music kicks in -- The Escape Club's "Wild, Wild West." Chazz tears around the rink, shooting "finger guns" at the rollicking crowd. He moonwalks, does the "cabbage patch," gyrates his hips like Elvis. Chazz is quite simply sex on skates. "Dance to the beat that we love best, heading for the nineties living in the wild wild west." Chazz, now at full speed, steadies himself and launches into a slow-motion mid-air splits. CHAZZ POV Through the wide-eyed crowd Jimmy stares back defiantly. JIMMY POV Chazz, still in the splits, points right at Jimmy defiantly.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <parenthetical>(in slow motion)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I .... want ..• you .</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz comes out of the splits and sticks the landing. The crowd explodes. So does the music. Wild west! Chazz, drenched in sweat, races off the ice. He gets right in Jimmy's face. Chazz rips off his vest and starts strutting and flexing.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Better get your silver polish ready, Macelroy, 'cause that was gold.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>That was mold? Your routine was mold? Ha! I agree with you.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>You want to tango? I don't think you want to tango with this!</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>It's not tango, you moron, it's tangle.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy and Chazz start to chest-bump. Coach steps in.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Break it up, you two.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The P.A. Announcer starts calling off Chazz's high scores.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>That's right! Eat it, Macelroy!</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Those are the same scores I got, Blockhead. We're tied.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>At the end of the sidelines, a group of Judges huddle in discussion. They break and nod to the P.A. Announcer.</scene_description>
    <character>P.A. ANNOUNCER</character>
    <dialogue>We have a tie ... and two gold medal winners. From the United States: Chazz Lewis and Jimmy Macelroy!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The crowd cheers. Male Skaters mob Chazz and Jimmy, draping them in American flags. Both Chazz and Jimmy look pissed. ANGLE ON DARREN AND COACH Darren, looking more pissed, turns to Coach.</scene_description>
    <character>DARREN</character>
    <dialogue>You're fired.</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>What?! I brought you a gold medal.</dialogue>
    <character>DARREN</character>
    <dialogue>You brought me a tie.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Darren strides off.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. ARENA - LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>All the medal-winning skaters mill around the sideline area, surrounded by well-wishers. Only Chazz is all alone. He glares at Jimmy who glares back. We hear the closing notes of "The Star Spangled Banner" and then see Stranz and Fairchild leave the ice. They're grinning like idiots and showing off their gold medals.</scene_description>
    <character>PHOTOGRAPHER</character>
    <dialogue>Stranz, Fairchild! Let's get a shot of you with Spaetzle.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Fairchild whispers harshly to Katie.</scene_description>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>Katie, I need Bronty the Dinosaur!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Katie pulls random stuffed animals from one of her bags. She holds one out to Fairchild.</scene_description>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>That's Dragmoor the Dragon, you idiot!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Katie dutifully looks into her bag; it's a bewildering array of dinosaurs, dragons and Pegasi that all look very similar. The photographer is set to take the picture. Stranz puts an arm around Fairchild and gets cheek to cheek, but then Spaetzle kind of edges his way between them. They look annoyed but quickly plaster on smiles so big they make your face hurt. The momen~ the picture is taken Stranz's -~ smile turns to one of deep menace. He glares at Spaetzle.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>Okay, Smokey, did you just touch my sister's ass?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Spaetzle edges warily away as fast as he can. Stranz puts his arm protectively around Fairchild. A FLOOR MANAGER wearing a head set strides up.</scene_description>
    <character>FLOOR MANAGER</character>
    <dialogue>Okay, family, friends and coaches need to clear the kiss and cry area.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz steps up, front and center. He looks up to the crowd with self-righteous indignation. There's no microphone so the crowd can't hear him, but that doesn't faze Chazz.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>I don't have a coach! As for ...</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(air quotes)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>... "friends and family," Chazz Lewis walks alone. Always has. Always will.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz goes back to leaning against his rail.</scene_description>
    <character>FLOOR MANAGER</character>
    <dialogue>Now that we have that straight, Men's Singles to the podium.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>A male skater in a bright green leisure suit, and one dressed like Eddie Munster head onto the ice. Chazz and Jimmy make it onto the ice at the same time. They actively ignore each other and look at the podium ahead of them. Chazz picks up the pace slightly. Jimmy notices and also picks up the pace. Chazz breaks and runs as fast as he can on the ice. Jimmy takes off. They are both slipping and sliding desperately trying to get to the podium first. INT. ARENA - MOMENTS LATER Two giant American flags, obviously jury-rigged to one hanger, descend from the ceiling as the National Anthem plays over the loud speakers. Chazz and Jimmy are cramped together on the center medal podium, still draped in their American flags. This podium is clearly not big enough for two.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I can't believe I have to share the greatest moment of my life with a skater who doesn't shave down his chest hair.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Real men only shave down south, Liberace. You'll find that out when you hit puberty.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>God, I'm getting sick. You smell like Drakkar Noir and sweat. Scoot over.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy bumps Chazz who bumps right back.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Jimmy always gets what he wants. Not this time! This is my podium. If you can't take it, go cry to your Daddy.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz bumps Jimmy hard. The two begin really shoving now. Jimmy rears back and fakes a jab. Chazz flinches and falls backwards off the podium, onto the ice. The flag falls from his shoulders onto the rink. The crowd gasps.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>That's gonna cost you big, Macelroy. Your medal ought to cover the down payment.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz grabs Jimmy's medal and yanks him down by it. Jimmy topples to the ice as well. The crowd GASPS LOUDER. Jimmy scrambles to his feet and unfurls his flag like a bullwhip. Chazz does the same. They circle each other. And then, both men actually start whipping each other with their American flags. It's like we're watching the most twisted locker room towel fight ever. The skaters keep on whipping, inching closer to one another. Finally, they grab each other's heads and fall into an awkward grappling match, full of hair-pulling and Indian burns. The crowd noise slowly dies out. The scene is no longer perversely exciting, it's just pathetic. All we hear now is grunting and a stream of insults from Chazz and Jimmy. After a moment, Jimmy and Chazz realize the crowd is dead silent and has been for some time. The guys loosen their grips and look up at thousands of appalled faces. CONTINUED: ( 2) Spaetzle the Unity Bear sadly shakes his head. Chazz and Jimmy have just pissed everything away, and they know it. CUT TO: CLOSE UP Of a photo of Chazz and Jimmy brawling. The caption reads "ICE CA-POWS!" WIDEN to see the photo is on the front page of USA Today. It is being held by Stranz and Fairchild. Katie is at their side. They are standing in the lobby of the US Skating Federation Headquarters. Both Stranz and Fairchild are conspicuously wearing their gold medals.</scene_description>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>What about us, Katie? Does it mention \* us?</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Sort of. On page 14 it says the pairs finals went off without incident.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Fairchild pouts petulantly.</scene_description>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>If she had given me my lucky dinosaur instead of the freaking dragon we'd be being interviewed by Matt Lauer instead of being ignored by everyone.</dialogue>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>We can't blame this all on our ... \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>(joking but clearly not joking) \* ... "wicked little stepsister". \* (to Katie) \* But is it too much to ask that you keep \* track of Fairchild's menagerie? \* Katie looks guilty as Fairchild breaks down.</scene_description>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>This was OUR moment. Our bright shining moment! Like the song! I wear this damn gold medal everywhere but nobody cares 'cause of Chazz Lewis and Jimmy Macelroy.</dialogue>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>Don't worry, those two will fade from all memory but J.;Le will come out of this more popular than ever.</dialogue>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>We'll be endorsing things that haven't even been invented yet. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He gives her a comforting pat on the shoulder, then lowers his hand to give her a comforting pat on the ass.</scene_description>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>So the world will love us and honor us and make us happy?</dialogue>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>Cross my heart.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He puts his hand over his heart.</scene_description>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>Cross my heart, too.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She takes Stranz' hand and places it sort of on her heart, but mostly on her breast.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HEARING ROOM - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>It feels very much like a courtroom. There is an audience packed with reporters and cameramen. Two long tables are set before the dais where the commissioner will preside. Chazz sits at one, alone. At the other sits Jimmy with his hands folded in his lap looking straight ahead. Next to him is Darren. Chazz and Jimmy also both wear their gold medals. Chazz leans over to a borderline attractive skating official.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>After this bullshit I would very much enjoy laying you down and eating a rack of baby back ribs off your rack, baby. And that's just the foreplay ...</dialogue>
    <character>FEMALE OFFICIAL</character>
    <dialogue>If you ask me one more time if you can eat something off my chest I will jab this number two pencil into your left eye and when you stand up screaming I'll kick you in the balls so hard that your testimony is going to consist of them popping out of your mouth.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz is nodding along to this with great understanding.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>I'm sorry, I should have explained. I'm a sex addict. (OFF HER BLANK LOOK) You know, like Michael Douglas.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ {</character>
    <dialogue>I'm not comparing myself to MD, but ... {CHUCKLING) Hey, what if you and I were having sex and Michael Douglas came in ...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She just gets up and walks away. ANGLE ON JIMMY AND DARREN</scene_description>
    <character>DARREN</character>
    <dialogue>I told you to smile and then wave to the crowd with your right hand. You decided to ...</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(like a dirty word)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>... improvise. Now, we're looking at a hefty fine, but I'll pay it and we'll be back on the ice tomorrow -- focused!</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Thanks, Dad.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>At that moment COMMISSIONER EBBERS enters and sits down. He looks like he was chiselled out of rock. He has a tight set jaw and piercing eyes. The guy's got gravitas. His gaze zeroes in on Chazz.</scene_description>
    <character>COMMISSIONER EBBERS</character>
    <dialogue>Chazz Lewis, you have repeatedly ignored, scoffed at or broken the rules and regulations set forth by the skating federation.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz reaches into his pocket.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>How many BJs to square things this time?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He casually pulls out a large roll of cash and starts peeling off hundreds.</scene_description>
    <character>COMMISSIONER EBBERS</character>
    <dialogue>Mr. Lewis put that money away!</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>I don't have a checking account. I don't trust banks. I don't even trust money but I've got to live in this world somehow.</dialogue>
    <character>{CONTINUED)</character>
    <dialogue>COMMISSIONER EBBERS</dialogue>
    <scene_description>..\_,, There will be no fine! Because of your past behavior, and because of your actions at the Games in Munich, I order that you be stripped of your gold medal and banned from figure skating for the remainder of your natural life! The crowd gasps.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <parenthetical>(stunned)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Say huh?</dialogue>
    <character>COMMISSIONER EBBERS</character>
    <dialogue>Please hand your medal over to the guards and remove yourself from this room.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Two guards approach Chazz. One reaches for the gold medal.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>You want the gold, Rusty? You're gonna have to earn it.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz tucks his medal into his shirt but they rip off his medal and start to carry him from the room.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>You can't do this! I'm Chazz Lewis!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz struggles ineffectively and is hauled out of the room. Jimmy looks shocked. He looks up at Ebbers and makes a big deal of nodding his head.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>That was a long time coming, huh? That guy just never learned. Sad, really.</dialogue>
    <character>COMMISSIONER EBBERS</character>
    <dialogue>Jimmy Macelroy. Since the moment you joined the circuit, you've been a credit to the sport and to athletes everywhere.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <parenthetical>(relaxing)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Thank you, Commissioner. I gotta tell you I have been freakin' over this--</dialogue>
    <character>COMMISSIONER EBBERS</character>
    <dialogue>Which is why your behavior in Munich was all the more appalling.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>CONTINUED: ( 3)</scene_description>
    <character>COMMISSIONER EBBERS</character>
    <dialogue>I order that you also be stripped of your gold medal and banned from figure skating for the remainder of your natural life!</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>But-- But--</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(turns to Darren)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Dad?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>But Ebbers is out the door. The guards approach Jimmy for his medal. Jimmy sadly hands it over. Chazz rushes back in.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>You think you can hurt Chazz Lewis? Well get in line. A lot of people want to do a lot worse to me that ain't got to me yet. I don't need your lousy gold medal! I don't need anything from anybody! I learned that lesson a long time ago from a teacher called life. So take your best shot, but I am way past feeling pain.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The guards test out this comment with a series of rabbit punches to his kidneys, sucker punches to his head and choke holds as they haul him out. Jimmy, shell-shocked, follows. Katie looks at the scene with sympathy. Stranz and Fairchild look pleased as punch.</scene_description>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>That was nice.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. MACELROY ESTATE - DEN - LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Jimmy and Darren enter this beautifully appointed room full of trophies, ribbons and plaques. A fire is going. Jimmy sits down in front of it to warm himself.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I ... I'm like too bummed to feel anything. I bet if I crawled into that fireplace right now and beat myself over the head with that metal poker thingy I still wouldn't feel anything.</dialogue>
    <character>DARREN</character>
    <dialogue>You're feeling something, Jimmy. You're feeling sorry for yourself. And that's not the way of a champion.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy takes this in and nods.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, I can't wallow. Can't let it pull me down? We gotta focus, right?</dialogue>
    <character>DARREN</character>
    <dialogue>Dammit, Jiroroy! I did focus! The best skates - I bought them. The best trainers - I hired them. But you threw it all right back in my face.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I swear I will find some way to make it up to you, Dad.</dialogue>
    <character>DARREN</character>
    <dialogue>Forget it. The best thing to do now is to cut our losses. Jimmy, maybe I should have told you this years ago, but here it is: You were adopted.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy is stunned, trying to digest this as Darren rolls on.</scene_description>
    <character>DARREN</character>
    <dialogue>The day we got you from that orphanage was one of the best days of my life ...</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Good ... I'm glad ... I mean, if you hadn't--</dialogue>
    <character>DARREN</character>
    <dialogue>But it just isn't working out. We</dialogue>
    <scene_description>had a good run, but we're unadopting you. Crawling into the fireplace is looking more and more appealing to Jimmy. He's reeling.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I ... I don't understand ...</dialogue>
    <character>DARREN</character>
    <dialogue>I guess "unadopting" isn't the right word. Legally, we're disowning you, but it amounts to the same thing.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>But I've been your son for 23 years.</dialogue>
    <character>DARREN</character>
    <dialogue>So nobody can say we didn't try to make it work.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Darren stands, making clear that it's time for Jimmy to go. Jim:ny is panicked.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I can fix this. Give me another chance. Wait! How about this?!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy stares straight into Darren's eye.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Focus! NBF -- Nothin' But Focus! Yeah, yeah, it's working. The way of a champion! I can feel it. Can't you feel it. .. Dad?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy's pleading eyes would put a basset hound in an animal shelter to shame. Darren gives Jimmy the lightest of smiles.</scene_description>
    <character>DARREN</character>
    <dialogue>Maybe you should focus on this.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Darren holds up his hand and waves goodbye in Jimmy's face. FADE IN: SUPERIMPOSE: 3 1/2 Years Later - Boulder, Colorado. \*</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. PUBLIC ICE RINK - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Bad pop music plays over a worse sound system. Amateur skaters of all ages skate around the rink. Jimmy, wearing a black unitard, shoots through the crowd, performing difficult crossovers as he weaves in and out of people. Jimmy gains speed, preparing for a Lutz. Up ahead, a group of five year olds at a birthday party take the ice.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <parenthetical>(gasps)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>It's too late for Jimmy to stop. He leaps up and straddles the first kid, then lands on one foot to slide by another. He deftly leaps and twists his body, avoiding another kid, and lands on his other foot. Another kid is right before him, though. Jimmy leaps and does a flip right over the kid, and nails his landing. He smiles at his success but there is one last kid skating right at him. Jimmy hits the brakes, doing one of those cool skate stops. He stops just an inch from the kid, but in SLOW MOTION we see a bit of the ice spray land directly on the kid's nose. The kid, ALICE, looks at it cross-eyed for a long beat, then starts wailing. Parents rush over as does the rink MANAGER, a scrawny, pasty- faced guy with chipmunk cheeks. He just barely passed the 70 IQ mark so he's not retarded, he's just stupid and mean.</dialogue>
    <character>MANAGER</character>
    <dialogue>Macelroy! You stupid idiot!</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>She stepped right in front of me.</dialogue>
    <character>ALICE</character>
    <dialogue>I did not. You smell!</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I do not. That's just not true.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>A murmuring crowd of PARENTS and kids gathers around Jimmy.</scene_description>
    <character>FATHER</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, you gotta fight little girls now, Macelroy?</dialogue>
    <character>MOTHER</character>
    <dialogue>At least Chazz Lewis could defend himself.</dialogue>
    <character>MANAGER</character>
    <dialogue>Don't worry. I'll take care of this stupid idiot. (TO JIMMY) What the hell do you think you're doing?</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I .. I was ice skating.</dialogue>
    <character>MANAGER</character>
    <dialogue>And what does this look like to you?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He gestures to the skating rink with complete condescension.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>An ice skating rink?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>This isn't quite panning out the way the manager anticipated.</scene_description>
    <character>MANAGER</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, right. And you're paid to work at it not skate at it. Stupid idiot.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I was on break.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The manager's brain is about to melt.</scene_description>
    <character>MANAGER</character>
    <dialogue>That does it! You're off concessions! You're on (WITH RELISH) rentals ...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>On Jimmy's horrified face we -- CUT TO:</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. ICE SHOW ARENA - PARKING LOT - ESTABLISHING</stage_direction>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. ICE SHOW ARENA - DRESSING ROOM DOOR - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>A crappy piece of masking tape is stuck to the dressing room door with CHAZZ LEWIS written in magic marker. From inside, we hear women giggling and a super-long bong hit.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. DRESSING ROOM - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Chazz is sprawled out on the couch. He's 20 pounds heavier and wearing a wizard's robe covered in moons and stars. A Slutty Girl in underwear and huge conical princess hat straddles him. A Guy in a Fox Costume and a topless Woodland Fairy suck face next to them.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>If you had asked me four years ago, "Chazz Lewis, would you ever skate in an ice show?" I would have laughed in your face ... but now it looks like fate is having the last laugh. Lucky for me pain is a companion I know how to handle. (THEN) So, baby, my magic wand might be broken. Can you check it out for me?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz looks up and sees SAM, a cute woman in her late 20's, standing in the doorway. She looks seriously pissed.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, Sammy. It's not what it looks like.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>You're on in 30. Asshole.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Sam storms down the hallway. Chazz saunters after her, cracking open a tall boy.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>I'm sorry, that's just how I express my pain and emptiness.</dialogue>
    <character>SAM</character>
    <dialogue>I know, you're a "sex addict," but when I met you, you were also a great figure skater. Now you're getting stoned with the Woodland Fairies?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The words hit Chazz hard, but he won't let her see. He slams the beer to drown his tears and turns to her.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>At least the Woodland Fairies don't judge me!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>After a beat, he picks up a trash can and vomits into it. Down the hall, BRYCE, the producer, smiles as he comes at him. Bald and with a mustache, Bryce looks somewhere between Mike Judge and G. Gordon Liddy. He's an unctuous managerial type that smiles no matter what amount of shit he's piling on you. Like a living version of the Disney building in Burbank, the smiles and forced jocularity just make him creepier. Chazz pulls his head out of the trash can and is confronted with Bryce's malevolent smile right in his face.</scene_description>
    <character>BRYCE</character>
    <dialogue>Mr. Big Shot, got pre-show jitters?</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Mr. Big Shot's just drunk.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>This just makes Bryce smile more and give a "what can you do" head shake. He looks at Chazz with bemused disbelief.</scene_description>
    <character>BRYCE</character>
    <dialogue>You were about to skate a show headless, weren't you? Headless. Have you ever seen the reaction of a bunch of four year olds to seeing a beloved character headless? Hiroshima. So, here's some friendly advice: put your godarnn head on.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Bryce, still grinning, strolls away. Chazz wipes the vomit from his mouth and puts on a giant wizard head. After a beat we hear more vomiting sounds.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <parenthetical>(muffled by foam head)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Shit.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. PUBLIC ICE RINK - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Jimmy is working the skate rental counter. It's horrible. People are sitting casually on benches scratching and picking their feet. At the moment an elderly woman has shoved her misshapen hoof-like foot right in Jimmy's face. A bunion makes all the toes shoot off in an almost right angle.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I don't think we have a skate that bends like that. I don't think anyone does.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>A hairy Serbian man put his skates down right near Jimmy's face. The smell hits him like a wall. In desperation he sprays at the skates with the deodorant/disinfectant creating a cloud which allows him to get close enough to grab the skates and chuck them over the counter.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Dude! Did you wear socks?! You've got to wear socks.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy gets up and walks over to where the skates are racked.</scene_description>
    <character>VOICE (O.S.)</character>
    <dialogue>Hi, Jimmy!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Startled, Jimmy whips around to see Hector standing behind him. He's still holding the large menacing pair of scissors, along with a thick book.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Hector?! What are you doing here? I \* have a restraining order against you. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Hector laughs good-naturedly.</scene_description>
    <character>HECTOR</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, that thing? Lucky for you it \* expired ... Today. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Hector smiles big and brandishes a large pair of scissors.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>You know I'm not giving you a lock of my hair. Now beat it, I'm going to get in trouble and you're going to get into \* trouble if you keep stalking me. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Hector has the smug look of a man holding all the cards. \*</scene_description>
    <character>HECTOR \*</character>
    <dialogue>Jimmy, our troubles are over. The last \* few years have been tough on both of us. It's embarrassing to stalk a has-been. Know what I mean?</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Uh, I guess so.</dialogue>
    <character>HECTOR \*</character>
    <dialogue>I even thought about dropping you. I tried working that Ukranian skater that looks like Elvis, but the fact is I'm too old to start over.</dialogue>
    <character>HECTOR</character>
    <dialogue>But, I found a way to get us both back on track. (LONG BEAT) Pairs Skating.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Pairs skating?</dialogue>
    <character>HECTOR</character>
    <dialogue>The ban doesn't say anything about pairs skating. You can skate pairs and they can't stop you.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>That's not possible. I had so many lawyers work on so many appeals--</dialogue>
    <character>HECTOR</character>
    <dialogue>And you also had one obsessed fan who refused to give up.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Hector proudly holds up the thick book: "The International Skating Federation Handbook."</scene_description>
    <character>HECTOR</character>
    <dialogue>I just started obsessing on this and then I found Section 14, Paragraph G: "A lifetime ban is irrevocable and the banned skater can never again compete, perform or appear in any Federation- sanctioned tournament or exhibition that exists in such skater's division now or may exist in any form in the future."</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He tilts it so Jimmy can read it.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>A different division -- I'm not banned from pairs! I can skate! I can skate!</dialogue>
    <character>HECTOR</character>
    <dialogue>Now can I have a lock of your hair?</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Well, that filU> a really good idea ... All right.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy contemplates the idea as he takes the scissors, cuts off a lock of hair and hands it to Hector. Hector sniffs Jimmy's hair like a fine wine, then devours it. He starts to walk off.</scene_description>
    <character>HECTOR (O.C.)</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, Jimmy. I'm still gonna kill you someday.</dialogue>
    <character>INT. ICE CAPADES - BACKSTAGE - THE NEXT DAY</character>
    <dialogue>Chazz waits in the wings, trying to slap himself sober. Behind him, the wizard's head sits on the prop table. He doesn't notice but several flies are swarming into the head. Sam walks by.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>You cleaned out the wizard head after yesterday's show, right?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She just grunts and keep walking. He looks out onto the ice. The rink is dramatically lit. Fog machines hiss as smoke billows across the ice. In the middle of the rink are three skaters dressed as a FOX, SQUIRREL, and BEAR. They huddle together as their recorded voices crackle and blare through loud speakers.</scene_description>
    <character>FOX</character>
    <dialogue>How did we end up in Direwood?</dialogue>
    <character>SQUIRREL</character>
    <dialogue>Don't look at me.</dialogue>
    <character>BEAR</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, no! It's the evil wizard--</dialogue>
    <character>ALL</character>
    <dialogue>Andmoreagain !</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Maniacal laughter spills out over the speakers. Chazz quickly dons his head and skates onto the ice.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ ON LOUDSPEAKER</character>
    <dialogue>Foolish creatures of the forest -- your precious Gladrial isn't here to protect you now.</dialogue>
    <character>INT. CHAZZ'S WIZARD HEAD - CONTINUOUS</character>
    <dialogue>A fly starts buzzing around Chazz's face.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Get off ... sonuvabitch!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz moves his head around trying to lose the fly. INT. ICE CAPADES - CONTINUOUS The audience looks a bit confused as the wizard's head twists about madly. Soon, Chazz is using his wizard arms to swat at his wizard head. He's running around, completely out of ''--'. control. Finally, he just rips his head off with a scream.</scene_description>
    <character>ANGLE ON THE AUDIENCE</character>
    <dialogue>Kids are freaking out, parents are trying to console them. The crowd begins murmuring Chazz's name. The forest creatures gawk at him. The music dies. Off the rink, Bryce smiles at him with intense anger as he grabs the microphone.</dialogue>
    <character>BRYCE</character>
    <dialogue>Ladies and gentlemen, "Grublets on Ice" has been cancelled until further notice. Refunds will not be given.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The crowd instantly turns on Chazz. They boo, throw popcorn and cotton candy. Chazz just takes it.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>That's it! Let it rain down! Let it pour--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>A box of Milk Duds hits him in the throat, leaving him gasping for air. SMASH CUT TO:</scene_description>
    <character>EXT. THE ICE ARENA'S STAGE DOOR - MOMENTS LATER</character>
    <dialogue>Chazz, his wizard costume half-on and half-off, is forcibly shoved out the door by two security guards, FRANK and STEVE. Bryce is behind them. Chazz rips off the costume and throws it at Bryce.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>You can shove your dumbass job, but if you don't get me all my shit and the money you owe me I will come down on you like the hammer of the gods!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Bryce just smiles and gives his patented head shake.</scene_description>
    <character>BRYCE</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Yes! And will you quit smiling at me?!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>This, of course, gets nothing but a smile and a headshake.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>That does it! I am going to rip that smile off your face and shove it down your throat.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz charges at Bryce full steam but then he notices \.\_\_;· something very disturbing -- Bryce is no longer smiling. He is also in what looks to be a martial arts position. Chazz tries to stop, but momentum keeps him going forward where the awaiting Bryce takes Chazz's legs out from under him with a leg sweep and then pile drives Chazz to the pavement with a powerful open handed punch. CHAZZ'S POV Everything is fuzzy. But as it starts to clear he sees Bryce hovering over him and slicking back his hair. Bryce takes a deep breath that turns into a light chuckle and then a smile. He and the guards head inside and slam the door shut.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. JUICE BAR - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>A Jarnba Juice style place. Jimmy stands with Coach at the counter. Coach looks a little slimmer and better groomed than when we last saw him.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>The Mango Mania's pretty good. They'll chuck in some bee vomit or cat piss or some other crazy booster shit, but I like mine straight.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Two Mango Manias - straight up.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The CASHIER, a skinny white guy with dreadlocks, interrupts.</scene_description>
    <character>CASHIER</character>
    <dialogue>Our antioxidant boosters are free today. If your amino acids have been unstable--</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <parenthetical>(glaring)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Do my amino acids look unstable?</dialogue>
    <character>CASHIER</character>
    <parenthetical>(calls off, pissy)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Two Mango Manias -- naked.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>So, Coach, after my dad fired you, he sort of fired me.</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>I heard. Screw that prick. It's like Kim always says, "If you're still losing sleep over him, he still owns you."</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy smiles, a little surprised.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Kim?</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, we met about a year ago, just got married. I'm doing a little painting, Kim teaches dance - we make ends meet.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy and Coach take their smoothies and step to a table. They both try to take a sip but the drinks are so thick it's a real struggle. Throughout the scene they try to suck up some smoothie to no avail.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Sounds like things are going well.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(bad acting)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I guess you wouldn't have any interest in coaching again ...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Coach's head snaps up.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Coaching? Who?</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Me! I can skate pairs! You remember Hector? My stalker? He found a loophole and l can skate pairs and win gold at the Winter Games! But I can't do it alone.</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>These Winter games? You'd have to qualify at Nationals which are in two weeks. Hell, sign up's in two days.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Coach takes a thoughtful suck on his straw. He still can't get any juice though. He gives up.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>You'd have to find someone to partner with and any skater good enough to have a shot at qualifying is already going to be partnered up. I'm sorry, Kid, maybe we could find someone for the next games.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I can't wait four years. In figure skater years that's like a hundred.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy takes a last, determined suck on his straw, but only succeeds in turning red in the face.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. ICE SHOW ARENA - PARKING LOT - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Families pour into the arena. Chazz, wearing a baseball hat and sunglasses, tries to melt into the crowd as he approaches the entrance. He is stopped short, though, by Frank, the security guard, who shoves him back outside.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>C'mon, Steve, I just want to get my stuff. I thought we were buds.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>I'm Frank. Steve gets to skate as the wizard today. I get to keep you out.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Frank gives Chazz a rough shove. Chazz walks off. Once he's \* out of sight, he zips around the back of the building and starts trying doors. One opens.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. ICE SHOW ARENA - MOMENTS LATER \*</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Jimmy wanders around the backstage area.</scene_description>
    <character>BRYCE (V. 0. )</character>
    <dialogue>Jimmy Macelroy?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy turns to see a smiling Bryce. Jimmy smiles back.</scene_description>
    <character>BRYCE (CONT ' D)</character>
    <dialogue>Just because I fired Chazz Lewis doesn't mean there's an opening for you.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy's smile fades. Bryce's hasn't.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Chazz was working here?</dialogue>
    <character>BRYCE</character>
    <dialogue>Until he was summarily discharged. Now, if I'm going to even consider you for this position ..•</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, I don't want a job. I'm looking to recruit someone to compete with me at Nationals. Who's your best skater?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Bryce's eyes narrow, but he continues to smile.</scene_description>
    <character>BRYCE</character>
    <dialogue>You're trying to poach a skater from me? Oh, I wouldn't do that.</dialogue>
    <character>BRYCE</character>
    <dialogue>No, sir, that's how you get your ass kicked worse than Chazz Lewis. Nice talking to you.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY \*</character>
    <dialogue>Look, it's a free .... \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Bryce's smile fades and he assumes his martial arts position. \* Jimmy senses he better get the hell away from this nut. \*</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY (CONT'D) \*</character>
    <dialogue>Nice talking to you too. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Ji=~ backs away as quickly as he can without running. \*</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. CHAZZ'S DRESSING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Chazz enters to find Steve, the other security guard, putting on the wizard costume and practicing his lines.</scene_description>
    <character>STEVE</character>
    <dialogue>... your precious Dragrial-- Gradrial--</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>It's Gladrial -- good luck.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz grabs a cut-out of Michael Douglas from "Basic Instinct" and slips out the door. \*</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. ICE SHOW ARENA - BACKSTAGE - MOMENTS LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Chazz sneaks through the backstage area with his cut-out. Someone walks by and Chazz sets up the cut-out and hides behind it. After they pass, Chazz heads off. ANGLE ON JIMMY Heading towards an exit. He feels something -- A PRESENCE. \* He looks up and sees Chazz sneaking across the room, cradling the cut-out of MD. Chazz feels a presence, too. He turns and sees Jimmy. Their eyes meet for the first time in over three years. Forgetting all pretense of hiding, they head towards each other. Jimmy looks Chazz over.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I see you got fat.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>I see you still wear boat shoes.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>You crushed my dreams.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Dreams? Shit, I haven't had one of those in years.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>A small crowd of skaters and techies begins to form. Chazz lets go of the cut-out.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>My whole life, all I wanted to do was skate. You took that away from me ...</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>You're the taker! Maybe it's about time someone took something from you! Taker!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They're now chest to chest.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>What is with you? From the moment I started to skate the circuit you've made it clear you hate me. I don't know why, and you know what? I don't care anymore.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Nobody cares less than I do, Daddy's Boy.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Shut up or I'm going to punch you in the face.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Take your best shot. Just stay away from my ass.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>You mean that thing you're talking out of?</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(beat, to the crowd)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I'm not gay.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy and Chazz crack their knuckles menacingly.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>It ends tonight.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>It's daytime, you douche.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They both swing at each other at the same time. They end up in a clench and punch and wrestle their way onto the stage. The crowd gasps in recognition, and several people immediately train their video cameras on the fight.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. JAIL CELL - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Chazz and Jimmy sit by side in a holding cell with several other men. Chazz tries to affect a cool jailhouse demeanor.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Shit, jail ain't nothing to me. I've been walking around in my own jail cell since the day I was born.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Nice. Where'd you get that, a George Thorogood song?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz glares at Jimmy then gets up and walks away, but every corner he walks to has a tough-looking inmate there. Chazz ends up sitting back down next to Jimmy. He glances over at the lone, open toilet.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Wish I'd peed before we got arrested.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. COACH'S GARAGE - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>A TV plays in the corner. In the B.G., Coach is painting on an easel. ON TV A NEWSWOMAN in studio.</scene_description>
    <character>NEWSWOMAN</character>
    <dialogue>Local figure skating fans received a shock today when a children's ice show was interrupted by a street fight between two former champions ...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy throws a punch at Chazz. Chazz ducks out of the way and Jimmy shatters a wall of the set with his fist. BACK TO SCENE Coach turns from the fridge to the TV.</scene_description>
    <character>NEWSWOMAN (O.C.)</character>
    <dialogue>Jimmy Macelroy and Chazz Lewis, once at the top of the skating world, picked up today where they left off over three years ago, in a 30-minute brawl that destroyed thousands of dollars worth of property and any remaining shreds of dignity.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy slams Chazz's head into a stage light. BACK TO COACH Disgusted. He moves to turn the TV off. But suddenly he stops, arrested by an image of Chazz holding Jimmy over his head and spinning him around. Coach snatches up his remote and hits a button. The image rewinds, then plays in slo-mo. This TV has Tivo. Dramatic music fades up. ON TV Chazz holds Jimmy in a skater's lift position. Jimmy spreads his arms and the two spin gracefully. BACK TO COACH Mesmerized. But then-- ON TV Chazz slams Jimmy onto a prop tree stump, crushing it. Not so graceful anymore. BACK TO COACH He blinks. Now he's watching Jinnny and Chazz tug back and forth on a CROWBAR. He sighs, having lost the fantasy. But then, Coach's gaze intensifies. He hits the rewind button and watches again in slo-mo. Dramatic music fades back up. ON TV The two skaters spin around joyfully, each holding an end of a log with a face painted on it. They fling their arms up as the log flies away like a dove being released to the heavens. Jimmy takes Chazz by the waist and hurls him through the air. Chazz twirls in a double axel and sticks a perfect landing. BACK TO COACH A huge smile spreads over his face. He grabs his coat and runs out of the garage. ON TV Cops and security guards swarm and tackle Chazz and Jimmy.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. JAIL CELL - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Coach sits on a folding chair outside the cell. Chazz and Jimmy sit inside the cell, looking a bit shocked.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>You're nuttier than a horny squirrel in \* an acorn factory. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Coach glares at Chazz.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>What the hell does that mean?</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ \*</character>
    <dialogue>That you've lost it, old man. \*</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>It is pretty crazy, Coach. I mean, I don't think two guys would even be allowed to skate together.</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Nothing in the rulebook says you can't, I already checked.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz stands.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>No. No way. Chazz Lewis goes it alone. That means no coach and no partner. Especially not a guy. And especially not this daddy's boy.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy leaps to his feet.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Quit calling me daddy's boy, you don't know anything about me or my life.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>I know a lot more than you think I know.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, yeah? Like what?</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Wouldn't you like to know.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>That's why I'm asking.</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Will you two sit down and shut up?!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The guys continue to glare but sit down.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH (CONT ' D)</character>
    <dialogue>Three years I've been trying to forget this nightmare you both created. I wasn't sure I'd ever get over it. But maybe, just maybe, underneath all your bullshit, we can still find something beautiful.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Coach, look, I'm pretty desperate to win that gold, but ...</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>But what? How's that partner search going, kid?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy hangs his head. Chazz chuckles.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH (CONT ' D)</character>
    <dialogue>Something funny there, Cool Whip? You finding much satisfaction between the legs of those $15 call girls?</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>I'm never satisfied! Never have been, never will be!</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(mournfully)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>It's a curse.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Coach stands.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Registration for the US Championships closes in exactly 12 hours. What's it gonna be?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The guys glance at each other. Chazz shakes his head.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Not interested. This guy couldn't even hold my jock sweat.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I could hold it all day long. Try me.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Maybe I will.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Maybe you should.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>You challenging me, princess?</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I'm not inviting you to a garden party.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Well then. I guess it's on.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I know it is.</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Good. Then I'll be back tomorrow morning with the bail money.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Coach exits. Jimmy and Chazz run up to the bars.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY AND CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Tomorrow?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>An INMATE steps up next to Chazz and smiles warmly.</scene_description>
    <character>INMATE</character>
    <dialogue>Your buddy here tells me you're a sex addict.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. COACH'S HOUSE - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Coach unlocks the door. Chazz and Jimmy stand behind him holding their suitcases.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH \*</character>
    <dialogue>You're both staying with me for the \* duration. If you're going to skate as a \* pair you'll have to live as a pair. \*</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. COACH'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS \*</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>They step inside.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>The only words I want to hear from either of you is "please" and "thank you." If you have to belch, fart or even sneeze, you take it outside.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy nods but Chazz snorts derisively. Coach doesn't notice. Chazz snorts derisively louder. He's about to give it another shot when he notices Jimmy looking at a painting on the wall: it depicts a muscle-bound, golden-locked Fantasy Hero wearing only chest armor and loin cloth. He is riding a saber-toothed snow beast across a frozen Tundra.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH ( CONT ' D)</character>
    <dialogue>I call it a Glaicex. Kim's been helping me get in touch with my artistic side. I got a studio out in the garage if you'd like to see more of my work.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>A door opens and closes off screen. Coach smiles.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>That must be the ol' ball and chain.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(calls off)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>In here, Honey.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz and Jimmy turn to the door to see KIM breeze in. Kim is a young, petite Asian man. His hair is pulled back and held with a scrunchy and his walk sashays a bit like a well trained geisha.</scene_description>
    <character>KIM</character>
    <dialogue>Hello, hello! I got held up at the dance studio and didn't have time to straighten up. Please excuse the mess.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The place looks like it's ready for a spread in Metropolitan Home. Kim gives Coach a tender kiss on the lips then playfully smacks his ass. He then shakes hands with Jimmy and Chazz, who are standing there, slack-jawed.</scene_description>
    <character>KIM (CONT ID)</character>
    <dialogue>Jimmy, a pleasure. Robert simply adores you -- talks about you like you're his own son.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Robert?</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, numbnuts, you didn't think my name was actually Coach, did you?</dialogue>
    <character>KIM</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Coach)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You, hush!</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(to Chazz)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Chazz Lewis. What can I say? I'm a fan. Mi casa es su casa.</dialogue>
    <character>KIM</character>
    <dialogue>Now if you gentlemen will excuse me, someone's feet have a date with the pumice stone.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Kim breezes out. Chazz and Jimmy are still in shock. Chazz looks around, taking it all in: Leopard-print curtains, a white baby grand piano, ornate wrought-iron sconces, a framed poster for Cabaret, back issues of Out magazine on the coffee table. Coach is seriously gay. Chazz turns. Coach is inches from his face.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>You forget to use coasters on that end table, I'll beat you so bloody your own mother won't recognize you. (Beat) Let me show you where you're gonna sleep.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. COACH'S HOUSE - BEDROOM - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Coach opens the door for Jimmy and Chazz, revealing a tiny room furnished with bunkbeds.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Uh uh, no way. I don't share a room.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(looks away dramatically)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>The night is a very dark time for me.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>It's dark for everyone. Ass.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Not for Alaskans. Or people from Iceland.</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Shut up. You guys are a team now. That means you're gonna sleep together, eat together, piss together and hold each other's dicks while you're doing it. End of discussion.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Coach stares both of them down. Chazz and Jimmy stare back defiant a moment, then back down.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Now get some sleep. After sign-ups for Nationals we hit the ice.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Coach exits. There is an awkward beat, then the guys start unpacking. Chazz pulls out his toiletries and puts them on the bureau. Jimmy does the same. He moves Chazz's stuff to the side and puts his stuff there -- lots of hair product. One of the bottles grabs Chazz's attention. It looks like a shampoo bottle but has a well groomed horse prominently displayed on it. It says, "Tail and Mane - For a Lustrous Coat." Chazz picks it up.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Tail and mane? You got a pony in there? (REALIZES) Wait, you use horse shampoo?!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy snatches it back.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>It works, Brillo head!</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Calm down. I was just being (WHINNIES) neighhhborly.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy ignores Chazz and pulls a handheld blacklight wand from his bag. Jimmy flips it on.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>A light up dildo. Is that so you can find your ass in the dark?</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>It's a blacklight. After all those years on the road I learned that this baby is a traveler's best friend.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy shuts off the overhead light, then flips on the blacklight. The room is bathed in an eerie glow. Jimmy shines the light around. There are very few white spots.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Ooooh. Are you going to tell ghost stories?</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>You want to hear scary stories? This illuminates any stain ... especially human emissions.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>You mean like loads? Gross.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy keeps carefully scanning the room.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>You bet it's gross. That's why I don't take any chances about what I'm lying on. On any bedspread you'll see at least a few comets. That's what stains look like because they glow in the dark and are streaky.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy gives the beds the once-over. Nothing illuminates.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>All clear.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He flips on the overhead light and turns off his black light. Chazz flops down on the bed.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>So it must be tough for you every time you have to be away from mommy and daddy and your mansion and your puppy and all that Howdy Doody bull-shit. \*</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Lewis, quit acting like you know what my life's all about -- because you don't.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>(under breath) \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Because I never got the chance. \*</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>What? \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz looks caught. He quickly changes gears. \*</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ \*</character>
    <dialogue>I was talking to myself -- the only \* person I can really trust. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy just shakes his head and flips off the light. \*</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. SKATING FEDERATION HEADQUARTERS - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Skaters sign in at a table being overseen by Commissioner Ebbers. A crowd of reporters is gathered to the side, in front of a podium with microphones. Around the corner, Stranz, Fairchild and Katie stand. Fairchild is caking on make-up. Both she and Stranz have on their gold medals. Katie comes forward holding two baseball caps. They are segmented into red, blue, and yellow wedges and have a beanie propeller on them. She tries to put one on Fairchild who swats it away angrily.</scene_description>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>My extensions!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Stranz grabs one and reads the writing on it. 1-800-BLUMPEE?</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>It's a chat line ... sort of. Part of your endorsement agreement is that you wear these hats at all media events and hold one phone party every month.</dialogue>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>You said that we'd be endorsing cell phones! I want a Sidekick!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Stranz takes Fairchild lovingly by the shoulders.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>Don't worry, my little princess, everything is going to be different this time. We are going to make our own publicity by going out there and guaranteeing a victory in the Nationals.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>This brings Fairchild around.</scene_description>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>Then after we win, every major corporation will fight to sponsor us.</dialogue>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>But we'll go with Nike -- I want to see "Just Do It" under a picture of us.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Stranz and Fairchild embrace, then head out to the podium. They slap on the biggest, fakest smiles you've ever seen and wave to the reporters. They keep waving long after the photographers have taken any pictures.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>Okay, if everyone's rolling tape, what I am about to promise you will astound and possibly frighten you.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The reporters can't help but be intrigued by Stranz's intro. Stranz smiles at Fairchild. They've got the reporters just where they want them. As a matter of fact, a reporter in the back, JAWORSKI, looks particularly astounded.</scene_description>
    <character>JAWORSKI</character>
    <dialogue>Holy crap, it's Macelroy and Lewis -- together!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Everyone turns to see Coach leading Chazz and Jimmy to the sign up table. They quickly abandon Stranz and Fairchild to crowd around the guys.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>We are guaranteeing--! I SAID WE ARE GUARANTEEING ...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>But it's too late. Stranz and Fairchild stand alone, scowling. Katie steps up, intrigued by the scene.</scene_description>
    <character>JAWORSKI</character>
    <dialogue>Chazz! Jimmy! What's going on?!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz stops walking and leans against a wall with a heavy sigh.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>No comment.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The reporters immediately leave Chazz and follow Jimmy and Coach. Chazz tries to catch up without looking too awkward. Coach starts filling out a sign up sheet.</scene_description>
    <character>COMMISSIONER EBBERS</character>
    <dialogue>What is going on here? You know damn well I am not letting either Lewis or Macelroy sign up. They're banned!</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Commissioner, I'm not here to sign up Lewis m;: Macelroy. I'm here to sign up the pairs team of Lewis .and Macelroy.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>There is a beat of silence, then an explosion of comments and questions from the media. Jimmy and Chazz can't help but smile as they elbow their way up to the table to sign in.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. PARKING LOT - MOMENTS LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Chazz, pumped, walks with Jimmy and Coach through the lot.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>That was crazy! Mind bottling!</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Did you just say mind "bottling"?</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <parenthetical>(as if to an idiot)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Yes, mind bottling. It's when something is so crazy it's got your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz just shakes his head and walks off.</scene_description>
    <character>CUT TO:</character>
    <dialogue>NEWSPAPERS spin into frame: 1) PAN DOWN from the main headline to the bottom right-hand corner, and a tiny headline reading, "Forgotten Rivals Team Up." 2) PAN UP from the headline to the top left-hand corner, "Icemen Cometh, Story D- 43." 3) The New York Post backpage banner headline, "FAGS?"</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. STRANZ AND FAIRCHILD'S HOUSE - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Stranz and Fairchild, reading the papers, are getting side by side massages on tables set up in their living room. Katie sits in a chair and is engrossed in the paper she holds.</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(laughing)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>This headline just says, "Boy Oh Boy!"</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Katie stops laughing when she hears no response. She lowers her paper to see Stranz and Fairchild glaring at her.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>Those apes have finally gone too far. They've come into ou~ jungle, and are trying to take mJ~ bananas.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Fairchild snaps.</scene_description>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>I hate them! I hate them! I hate them!</dialogue>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>Now, now, Sis, calm down, you know what stress does to your collagen. Let's see if they're really even a threat before we get carried away.</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>How are you going to do that?</dialogue>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>By getting--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Stranz pauses. He looks at the two masseuses.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>Excuse me ... I'm about to break wind -- They're family, but if you don't mind ...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The masseuses quickly exit.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>Now, we need video of their routine. To do that, we're going to need a spy.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Katie notices Stranz and Fairchild staring at her.</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>What? No, no way. I'm not a spy. I can barely even lie. I always talk too much and people know I'm lying. You guys are good liars, why don't one of you do it?</dialogue>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>They'd recognize us. But your lack of skill, talent, and appeal could finally pay dividends. Who better to get lost in the woodwork than you?</dialogue>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>Katie, even though you don't skate anymore, or really bring anything of value, we've stuck with you. Think of this as a way for you to finally say, "Thank you."</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Katie, looking guilt-ridden, nods.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>Good, and send our masseurs back in on your way out.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Katie exits. Fairchild wrinkles up her nose in disgust.</scene_description>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>Stranz!</dialogue>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, c'mon, I'm a vegan.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. TRAINING RINK - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Coach stands in the center of the rink. Jimmy is off to one side, skating in little nervous circles. Chazz is off to the other side, sitting on the ice. Neither will make eye contact. Coach takes a deep breath.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Well screw it, we gotta do this some time. Gentlemen, first position.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz and Jimmy tentatively come to center ice. But Chazz holds up his finger to "wait one minute," then skates to the side and punches the padded wall. He skates back to Jimmy. With great reluctance, they go to join hands, but end up wrestling for top position.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Dude, your hand has to go under.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>No way -- the girl's goes under.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, if the skirt fits, wear it.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I'm so not the girl -- I'm taller.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>I'm stronger.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy drops his hand and just gives Chazz an "I can't believe I'm hearing this" look. ANGLE ON THE RAFTERS Katie, sitting on a catwalk high above the rink, trains her video camera on the guys. CAMERA POV Jimmy bends over and throws his body into a handstand. BACK ON THE RINK Jimmy pivots from one hand to the other.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Jimmy ...</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah! See that, Chazz? No strings. That's pure pee, bicep, and tricep.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Ain't no thang but a chicken wang. Check it.</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Chazz, goddamnit, don't you--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>But Chazz is already doing a handstand of his own.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>How 'bout it, partner? I know you ain't never seen skills like this.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, I'll show you skills. I'll show you the entire catalogue.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz and Jimmy jump out of the handstands and skate off. Coach just sighs and takes a seat on a bench. IN THE RAFTERS Katie watches through her DV camera. She works her way down a ladder for a better vantage point. ON THE ICE - MOMENTS LATER CLOSE ON: Jimmy and Chazz in starter positions.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Let's see what kind of hops you got.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>WIDEN ON: Jimmy and Chazz skating toward two folding chairs. They jump them like hurdles and keep skating toward ... A second set of "hurdles" -- two sets of double-stacked folding chairs. Chazz clears his set, Jimmy grazes the top of his. The final hurdle -- the rink's dividing wall. Both men make -- huge leaps, but Jimmy catches on the wall and falls. Chazz clears the wall, but can't stop his momentum.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Yes! Yes! Y--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>As he SLAMS right into a locker bay.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Yes!</dialogue>
    <character>ICE RINK SNACK BAR - MOMENTS LATER</character>
    <dialogue>Chazz holds up an ice cube.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>You wanna see the definition of rock hard glutes?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz puts the ice cube behind his back, clenches his ass cheeks and crushes the cube.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Got something for your Shirley Temple, Daddy's Boy!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He laughs as he dumps the ice chips into a glass of water. Coach watches this with dismay. BLEACHERS - CONTINUOUS Katie peeks through some bleachers with her camera. She works her way closer to the ice for an unobstructed view. ON THE ICE - MOMENTS LATER Chazz and Jimmy are at opposite ends of the ice.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>You wanna be the man, you gotta make a stand!</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>That doesn't even make sense. Now come at me!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz skates full speed at Jimmy. Chazz leaps into Jimmy's arms, and Jimmy tries to lift him but can't. They collapse to the ice. Coach steps up as they rub their bruises.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Well, that was a day well spent. Jimmy, you're the girl.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz snickers at this. Jimmy is bummed.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>What?! Why?</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Because you'd need a block and tackle to lift Chazz's fat ass. Chazz, you're on a diet, starting now.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Coach storms off. Now it's Chazz's turn to be bummed. The guys get up and start off the ice.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Weakling.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Fatty.</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE (0.S.)</character>
    <parenthetical>( shrieks)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Chazz and Jimmy turn to see Katie on her butt on the ice. She tries to shove her video camera under the bleachers as</dialogue>
    <dialogue>the guys rush over. She sits on the ice, rubbing her butt. \* Chazz nods at her butt sexily.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>You've got a boo boo, I'll be happy to \* kiss it and make it better.</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>No, it's fine.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>That's too bad because I love kissing boo \* boos and making them better. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Katie doesn't look exactly sold as Jimmy steps in. \*</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY \*</character>
    <dialogue>That was a hard fall. Are you okay? \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy gets down to help Katie up. Their eyes meet and there \* is a definite connection. Chazz stands hovering in the near \* background. \*</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE \*</character>
    <dialogue>Thanks for your concern, but I'm fine. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Katie uses her foot to kick the camera under the bleachers. \*</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Well, if you're sure you're okay •..</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>I'm fine. You run along and I'll ..• Find my skates .. which you should always wear when you ... skate.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Okay. But you should know we have this rink reserved the next couple of weeks for a private training session.</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Oh. That's okay. I'll just find somewhere else for ... the birthday party ... for my grandmother.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Katie cringes at her own words.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Your grandmother skates?</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Skates? No. My grandmother's dead actually. But it's nice to remember so ...</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>That's sweet. I'm Jimmy. Jimmy Macelroy.</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Oh. I'm Katie. Katie ... Macel ... rand.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz leans in between them. \*</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ \*</character>
    <dialogue>I should probably explain. I didn't mean \* any offense. It's just that I'm a sex \* addict. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Neither JilTimy nor Katie even glance over. \*</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>That's weird, our names are so similar, huh? You know, you look kind of familiar. Have we met?</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>No, never met ... But I have that kind of face ... that you may have seen in the stands. I'm actually a big fan.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ \*</character>
    <dialogue>(mournful sigh) \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz slowly skates away, trying his damnedest to look \* soulful, sexy and tortured all at once. \*</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Wow, that's great. Thanks. Although, I don't know if you'll be a fan much longer. Skating with Chazz, well .•.</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, how's that going?</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Not great. It's weird enough to pairs skate, and it's even weirder with another man, but to skate with a man who I don't respect and who totally hates me ... Do you know what it's like to be around someone that just can't stand you?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Katie nods involuntarily.</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah ... But then why do you do it?</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I guess because I don't really have a choice.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Katie nods again. She looks back at her video camera guiltily. Jimmy smiles at her.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ {O.S.)</character>
    <dialogue>Let's go, cocksmoker!</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Shut upl</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(back to Katie)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I should probably ... yeah. I'll see you around. I mean, I hope I will.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Red-faced, Jimmy turns and heads off. Katie grins despite herself.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. COACH'S HOUSE - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Jimmy sits with Coach and Kim at the dinner table. They're in the middle of a nice big dinner.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ (O.S.)</character>
    <dialogue>Could someone please pass a biscuit?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>WIDEN TO see Chazz is on a treadmill set up next to the table. He's walking along, sucking wind.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Not till you've done five miles. And then you can have an energy bar.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>What we should do is tie a biscuit to a string and hang it over his head so he keeps walking trying to get it.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Just don't shove the biscuit up my ass or buttboy here won't be able to contain himself.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz looks embarrassed he said this in front of Coach and Kim. He turns to them.</scene_description>
    <character>{CONTINUED)</character>
    <dialogue>CHAZZ</dialogue>
    <scene_description>No offense. They give "Pshaw," "none taken" gestures.</scene_description>
    <character>KIM</character>
    <dialogue>So, Jimmy, I loved that fur vest you wore when you skated to that Sting song--</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(sings)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>"If the Russians love their children too." Are you guys going to wear something like that at Nationals?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz snorts derisively.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>No way. We're going to skate to something with balls. Like "They're Coming to America" by Neil Diamond!</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Shut up. We need something with a good beat, maybe "Hungry like the Wolf."</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <parenthetical>(snickers)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I'm the wolf, you're little red riding hood.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Shut up!</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Come here and make me.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Why? Too fat to waddle over here?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>BAM! Coach slams his hand down on the table.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>STOP! Okay, you two little whiny shits are going to start learning about communication, compassion, and ... Kim, honey, what's the other "C"?</dialogue>
    <character>KIM</character>
    <dialogue>Connectivity.</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Right, right. Connectivity. Kim taught me and he's going to teach you.</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>And you better learn or I will kick your asses up and down the ice wearing hockey skates until you do.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. TRAINING RINK - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Chazz and Jimmy sit on a bench. Kim is literally prancing around on the carpeted area before them.</scene_description>
    <character>KIM</character>
    <dialogue>Whether you dance on land or ice or water, let a beautiful image guide you. For my master's thesis, I pictured a butterfly, and I just traced that image on the floor with my dance. I first danced the shape of the right wing ...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Kim runs in a loop.</scene_description>
    <character>KIM (CONT ID)</character>
    <dialogue>... and then the left wing ...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He runs in another loop, then lays out on the floor, arms stretched out above him.</scene_description>
    <character>KIM</character>
    <dialogue>... and ended up as the antenna.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Coach claps appreciatively. Chazz and Jimmy clap politely, definitely not sold.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Which C is this for again?</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <parenthetical>(under breath)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I think it's for "Bull-shit." \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz turns to see Coach is right in his face. \*</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>What did you just say? \*</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Uh ... I don't know.</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>That's right. You don't know crap! Do you have any idea how figure skating got started? People literally carved figures in the ice with their skates. So if Kim tells you to picture a butterfly in your head, you picture a goddamned butterfly.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Coach walks off.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. TRAINING RINK - MOMENTS LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Chazz and Jimmy skate in waltz position. Kim walks around the ice, clapping his hands to keep rhythm. Coach oversees.</scene_description>
    <character>KIM</character>
    <dialogue>... and two and three and four! Chazz, fall into Jimmy, he'll be there! Jimmy, relax. Looser in the shoulders. Looser everywhere! If you two can just let go of your inhibitions and trust each other you will achieve greatness!</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>You've got a lot of back sweat, dude.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Maybe you've got a lot of hand sweat.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The guys make a turn, but they head in opposite directions, right into each other. They hit the ice.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Two weeks to Nationals, Gentlemen! Let's try it again.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The guys get to their feet and we A SERIES OF SCENES 1) The guys trying to skate together. Kim skates alongside, literally pushing them closer together. 2) The guys take a turn, but Jimmy goes crashing into and over the wall. 3) Katie, hiding in a locker, videotapes them. 4) Chazz on the treadmill. He's clearly less winded. Widen to see everyone is watching "The Cutting Edge. H 5) The guys pull off a nice move.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Yes! Perfect! Do it again!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>6) Kim runs around in his butterfly pattern. Chazz and Jimmy mirror him. 7) Chazz is sharpening a skate. Sparks fly. Jimmy is \* getting annoyed at waiting and sticks his skate on the wheel \* at the same time, causing even more sparks to fly. \* 8) A POV shot from Katie's camera. It's a close up of Jimmy skating. Reverse to see a mini-camera stuck in a plant. We \* follow the wire out a window to the parking lot where Katie rncnitors it with a smile. 9) Chazz is now jogging nicely on the treadmill. He looks slimmer, but seems to be crying. Widen to see everyone is watching "Ice Castles." Everyone but Coach is crying. 10) Chazz and Jimmy move around the ice in sync. Coach and Kim look very pleased. The guys go to make a turn, but fumble it and fall down. Coach storms up to them.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Why can't you guys get that turn?!</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>It's his fault! He does it different every time.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>I'm making adjustments. Improvising. Even your precious Kenny G does it. If you'd just follow my lead like you're supposed to you might start feeling it. Feeling something!</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I feel plenty. I feel you yanking me all over the ice because you don't know what you're doing. Trust me, you do the move right and I'll be there.</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Just do it again, with your mouths shut!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Coach rejoins Kim as the guys prepare to skate.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Two days left. What do you think?</dialogue>
    <character>KIM</character>
    <dialogue>I think you've done all you can, Boo Boo, now it's up to them.</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>I was afraid you'd say that.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. STRANZ AND FAIRCHILD'S HOUSE - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Stranz and Fairchild sit together in one of those big round chairs and watch Katie's video. Fairchild clutches some stuffed animals. A shot of Jimmy stretching plays for a while on screen. Katie can't help but smile.</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>... he has so much trouble keeping his hair out of his eyes.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Katie watches for a moment then can feel Stranz and Fairchild's gaze. She turns to see them glaring at her.</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(sheepish)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Their final routine is next ...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They all turn back to the screen. Chazz and Jimmy are skating now. Stranz and Fairchild watch intently. On screen, Chazz and Jimmy wobble a bit. Stranz and Fairchild light up.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <parenthetical>(a la an announcer)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Whoa, that'll cost them on the judge's scorecards.</dialogue>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>It looked like Chazz was doing an axel and Jimmy was doing a Salchow!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Stranz looks at Fairchild lovingly. He traces his finger down her cleavage.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>Sis, make room on that chest of yours for more gold.</dialogue>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>You too.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Fairchild tickles his chest and then his stomach.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>Why don't we go test our body mass index?</dialogue>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>After you.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Stranz and Fairchild hop up and run to the bedroom leaving Katie alone watching the TV. She smiles when Jimmy comes on.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. MADISON SQUARE GARDEN - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>SUPERIMPOSE: Madison Square Garden \* The marquee announces the "National Skating Championships."</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. MADISON SQUARE GARDEN - ARENA - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>DICK BUTTON AND SCOTT HAMILTON sit in their booth.</scene_description>
    <character>DICK BUTTON</character>
    <dialogue>Good evening, and welcome to the National Figure Skating Championships! The top three teams move on to the World Games but the big story here, of course, is male-male pair Chazz Lewis and Jimmy Macelroy.</dialogue>
    <character>SCOTT HAMILTON</character>
    <dialogue>This is completely unprecedented. They're not just both men -- they're men \* that have displayed an intense hatred for \* each other. Can that kind of hatred ever \* truly be overcome? \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Scott Hamilton looks over to Dick Button, who is staring at \* him with a giant grin on his face. Scott just sighs. \*</scene_description>
    <character>SCOTT HAMILTON (CONT'D) \*</character>
    <dialogue>I'm not so sure ... \*</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. MADISON SQUARE GARDEN - LOCKER ROOMS - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Skaters move in and out of the locker rooms, all dressed in their garish costumes. It looks like the Warner's Commissary in the thirties, with people dressed like Antony and Cleopatra, Jeannie and Major Nelson, a football player and a cheerleader, etc. The men's locker room door opens and everyone turns and becomes immediately silent. Chazz and Jimmy walk out. Chazz is wearing a leather jacket and has his hair poufed up. Jimmy has his hair poufed as well and is wearing a blousy shirt. A SKATER looks them over.</scene_description>
    <character>SKATER</character>
    <dialogue>Siegfreid and Roy?</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>notes of "Gangsta's Paradise." Stranz and Fairchild leave the ice, dressed as gang bangers. Stranz has a toy pistol in his waistband and Fairchild is wearing a spangly do-rag. The crowd is cheering them wildly. Stranz catches Chazz and Jimmy's eye then makes a show of cupping his ear to listen to the crowd.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Just make sure when you reach around for the final lift, it's crisp, alright?</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>When has that reach around been anything but perfect? My reach-arounds are always perfect!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>A smirking P.A. who has overheard all of this steps up.</scene_description>
    <character>P.A.</character>
    <dialogue>You "guys" are next.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>CUT TO:</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. MADISON SQUARE GARDEN - ARENA - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>CLOSE ON: Two pairs of men's skates step onto the ice. The jeering fans rise, tasting a fiasco. Jimmy and Chazz are obscured by the waving banners and blinding spotlights as they take their positions center ice. SIDELINES Coach watches intensely. A rock of support. After a long, arduous moment, the noise dies down. It is replaced by the opening notes of Hall and Oates "She's Gone." THE ICE We hear scattered chuckles from the crowd. Jimmy and Chazz exchange scowls before pushing off in a synchronized, one- footed glide. They come together in a waltz dance. They move around the rink together, gaining speed, their feet a half step out of sync. They shoot each other irritated looks.</scene_description>
    <character>HALL AND OATES (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>She's Gone, Oh I, Oh I'd better learn how to face it. She's gone ...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>With each "She's gone," Jimmy skates away from Chazz. But he does it hesitantly, still not happy being the "she." Jimmy and Chazz then speed up and turn in preparation for the first double axel. They jump, spin twice in tight, synchronized coils, and land. The laughter ceases. Jimmy and Chazz lock eyes and nod.</scene_description>
    <character>HALL AND OATES (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>She's Gone Oh I, I'd pay the devil to replace her. She's Gone - what went wrong ...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy and Chazz gain speed for another jump, this time it's a triple. They take off into the air and hit the three spins like they're nothing. The crowd goes wild. Jimmy and Chazz skate to opposite ends of the rink for their final jump. Jimmy turns, skates quickly toward Chazz. Chazz readies himself. Jimmy jumps. Chazz catches him and raises him overhead. Jimmy spreads his arms and Chazz spins them around. Cameras flash all over the arena. Chazz lowers Jimmy and then swings him around in a classic dip. The crowd erupts! SIDELINES Jimmy and Chazz are pumped. They fly off the ice into Coach's arms.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah! \*</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>(sing song) \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Nailed it! \* Coach just holds up his hand to wait a second. \*</scene_description>
    <character>COACH \*</character>
    <dialogue>Hang on, hang on. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They all turn to see the huge scores appear on the board:</scene_description>
    <character>"5.9, 5.8, 5.9, 5.9, 5.8." \*</character>
    <dialogue>The crowd goes wild. So do Chazz and Jimmy.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>We're going to Saskatchewan, Baby! \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz and Jimmy high five and go to hug Coach. Coach holds \'-"' them off, though .</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Quit acting like a couple of school girls. That may have been good enough to qualify for the World Games, but it's nowhere near good enough to win. We're back on the ice, dawn tomorrow.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Coach walks off. The guys have had the wind taken out of their sails a bit.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I didn't think we were that bad.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Me neither. You were very easy to lead.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>{BEAT) I felt safe when you dipped me ...</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Stranz and Fairchild sit across a desk from DR. RAINES, an unnaturally tanned plastic surgeon with unnaturally full blonde hair. Katie sits in a folding chair behind them.</scene_description>
    <character>DR. RAINES</character>
    <dialogue>... and as a certified member of the National Board of Plastic Surgeons, it's my duty to tell you that going up another two sizes gives me some concern.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Fairchild turns to Stranz.</scene_description>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>What do you think?</dialogue>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>I think we need every advantage we can get in Saskatchewan. \*</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(to Raines)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Doc, give me the biggest calves you got.</dialogue>
    <character>DR. RAINES</character>
    <dialogue>No problemo. I'll get some samples.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He gives them a big thumbs up and heads out.</scene_description>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>We are going to win, aren't we?</dialogue>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>Yes, because we're not taking any chances.</dialogue>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>Lewis and Macelroy are becoming a sensation and judges aren't immune to that. Katie?</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(wary)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Yeah ... ?</dialogue>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>Get inside. Sabotage them. Disturb their sleep, disrupt their practices. Do whatever it takes to make sure they're off their game in Saskatchewan. \*</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Um, sabotage isn't really my bailiwick ...</dialogue>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>Bailiwick? No wonder you're a spinster. Good thing you have us. Now take care of Lewis and Macelroy.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>As Katie slumps we CUT TO:</scene_description>
    <character>INT. COACH'S HOUSE - NIGHT</character>
    <dialogue>'--"' Coach sits on the couch, watching an old tape of Stranz and</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Fairchild, skating as Sonny and Cher. Chazz and Jimmy enter.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Stranz and Fairchild from Nagano -- why are you watching that?</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Watch how they move in sync ... You see the connection there?</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>A little too much connection if you ask me.</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>That's how a pairs team should skate together ...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz and Jimmy look a little bummed, but Coach is leaning back with a smile.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH (CONT' D)</character>
    <dialogue>~~ they're a man and woman. But you're two men.</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>What if we just said "screw , let's skate like a man and a man." You both have power. You both can lift. Let's play to your strengths instead of trying to imitate what all the other pairs are doing.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>No more being dipped? No more being the girl? I'm in!</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Man on man -- it's brilliant.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. TRAINING RINK - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The guys hit the ice. A driving rock song accompanies a series of scenes of the new routine coming together. 1) The guys, skating full speed, grabbing arms and whipping each other in rapid circles. 2) The guys leap frogging each other, getting more and more air. 3) Coach watching, pleased. 4) Chazz slides on his knees. Jimmy does a flip over him. They high five, then glare at each other and skate in opposite directions. 5) Coach stands before a chalkboard in his living room. He diagrams a move for the guys as the music cuts out.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>We pull this move off, it's guaranteed gold. It starts with a modified Toe Walley and a Reverse Salchow, then you must extend your bodies while spinning each other in cartwheels. There is no room for error. You'll have to read each other perfectly and have the strength and precision to keep each other in the air. I call it a KimSpin.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The guys look a little unsettled at the name. \* CUT TO: \*: ICE RINK Quick shots of Chazz skating at Jimmy and leaping into Jimmy's arms for a kind of flying cartwheel move. Both keep 1..\_,,· falling to the ice -- they just can't pull it off.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. COACH'S HOUSE - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The place is decorated for Christmas. Jimmy and Coach are in the kitchen, making eggnog. Chazz enters and goes to the freezer. He pulls out a bag of frozen peas and sticks it down the front of his pants.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Dude, if you're going to keep missing the catch, I wish you'd miss a little higher than my nutsack.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>You ever think about wearing a jock, or at least underwear?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Coach looks worried.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Maybe we should scratch the Kimspin.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Neither guy seems wild about this.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>No way. My balls have been through worse. Believe me, they'll rally.</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>I don't know, maybe I should just name something else for Kim. Hey, who wants some Kim-nog?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The guys look at the eggy concoction less than thrilled. Coach exits. Jimmy notices something out the window.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Katie?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz joins him. They see Katie moving boxes into a house across the street.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <parenthetical>(lascivious)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Jingle bells ...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz smooths his hair and starts for the door. Jimmy trails after him.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>What are you doing?</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Santa's got a chimney to slide down.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz sprays some Binaca in his mouth, then rubs some into his wrists.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>She's not even interested in you!</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Neither was that chick who worked at Popeye's. But we know how that ended. The only difference is that Jiggles there won't be feeding me leftover dirty rice after I nail her.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy grabs Chazz to stop him from going outside.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Leave her alone!</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Ooh, a little jealous? Methinks Slim Jim wants the trim trim.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They continue to wrestle, falling to the floor.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>So I like her. I deserve a little happiness for a change.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>For a change?! Your life's been nothing but happy!</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>My life--?! Why do you keep saying stuff like that?!</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>You wanna know why?! Let me go and I'll tell you!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy lets Chazz go. Chazz stands and straightens himself. He takes a deep breath.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Sucker!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz grabs Jimmy's face and pushes him down. He races out and shuts the door behind him, then wedges a lawnchair against the door. EXT. KATIE'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER \..- Chazz hustles up to Katie who is carrying a box inside.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Ho, Ho, Ho, Want to go inside and make Santa come early this year?</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>That's ... really inappropriate. \*</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, you think I want to be here right \* now? I'm a sex addict. I'm not proud of it.</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Really, because I've only met you twice and both times you've mentioned it.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy runs up.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Hi Katie! Are you moving in here?</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, can you believe it? Small world, huh?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz does one of his dramatic sighs.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>I guess the world only feels big when you're all alone in it.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy and Katie stare at him a short beat then turn back to each other.</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>So we should all go out and celebrate being neighbors. Really tie one on, pull an all-nighter. Drive around drunk. Maybe try crack -- or how 'bout Meth?!</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>That sounds great, but we can't -- curfew.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Screw the curfew -- I'm in.</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Oh ... Okay. You sure you can't come, Jimmy?</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>He's sure.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Well, maybe ..•</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Suddenly, two hands grab Chazz and Jimmy by scruff of the neck. It's Coach and he looks pissed. He drags them off.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. KATIE'S HOUSE - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Katie sits alone in her nearly empty house. There are a few boxes lying around and a small, electric Christmas tree. She eats ice cream from a big carton and looks across the street. KATIE'S POV Coach's house looks very merry. We can see Chazz, Jimmy, Coach and Kim inside hanging lights. BACK ON KATIE She picks up her cell phone and hits a button. INTERCUT WITH:</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. STRANZ AND FAIRCHILD'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The table is set for a romantic Christmas Eve meal. Fairchild is dressed in a very sexy Santa outfit and is feeding Stranz by hand when the phone rings. Stranz answers.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>This better be good.</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>I was just sitting around, thought I'd call and say Merry Christmas Eve.</dialogue>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>Who is this?</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Katie.</dialogue>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, well if you really wanted us to have a Merry Christmas Eve you'd be bothering Lewis and Macelroy right now, not us!</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>But I just thought--</dialogue>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>Katie, don't think. Just get over there and do whatever it takes to make them miserable. Steal their presents, set fire to their tree -- you saw the Grinch.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Stranz shuts off his phone. He turns to see Fairchild dangling mistletoe over her cleavage.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. COACH'S HOUSE - LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Chazz, Jimmy, Coach and Kim continue to hang Christmas lights. They've gone way overboard -- lights are everywhere. Blue, red and white flickering lights border the mantelpiece, the moulding and frame all of Coach's paintings. Kim pulls out a string of the classic bubbling light bulbs. (For the unassimilated Jews, these are remarkably phallic with a glass tube that bubble upwards as the light heats up).</scene_description>
    <character>KIM</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, Boo Boo, remember these?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Coach looks at the bubble lights and blushes.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Are you kidding?! I couldn't walk right for a week.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Coach and Kim laugh warmly at the memory. Chazz and Jimmy look a little uncomfortable. Suddenly the room goes dark.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. COACH'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Katie is holding some bolt cutters and has clearly broken the electricity panel to shit. She looks proud and drops the severed cable she was holding. It whips around and sparks with electricity and she quickly jumps away.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. COACH'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <character>KIM</character>
    <parenthetical>(terrified)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>It's Ricky!</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>It's not Ricky! It's just a blown fuse. I'll check the fuse box. Guys, there might be some candles around our bathtub, could you get 'em?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>We can just see the figures of Chazz and Jimmy getting up and stumbling towards the hall.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. COACH'S HOUSE - HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>It's nearly pitch black. We can hear the guys stumble along.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Who's Ricky?</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Ex-boyfriend. State trooper.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>As they go down the hall you can see a glow emanating from their room.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>My blacklight. Why is that on?</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <parenthetical>(beat)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I was being a Jedi Knight. I musta forgot to turn it off.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy hustles into the room and comes out brandishing the blacklight like a light saber and making light saber noise.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Wommmm. Wommmm. We must get the candles for the Imperial Council.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy goes across the hall to Coach and Kim's bedroom. Chazz follows. They both stop short the moment they enter. Their amazed faces are illuminated by the blacklight glow. Gary \* Wright's "Dreamweaver" begins its spacey introduction. \* REVERSE ANGLE The room filled with what looks like thousands of little white comet streaks. They are everywhere. The floors, the walls, the furniture, the ceiling. It's like an asteroid shower. Chazz and Jimmy turn to take in the room, making it seem like the room is spinning psychedelically, with the streaks looking like they are moving across the sky and reflecting on Chazz and Jimmy's face as the song continues.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY (CONT' D)</character>
    <dialogue>Whoa. Should we get the candles?</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>I'm not going in the bathroom.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They just look on in amazement as the song continues.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. TRAINING RINK - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Chazz and Jimmy are on the ice. Coach, looking a bit tired, walks up.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>You look a little rough, Coach. Too much Kim-neg last night?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy can't help but laugh.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>I was up all night trying to convince Kim his ex-boyfriend didn't cut our power, so I'm not in the mood for any of your shit. Let's take it from the top.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz and Jimmy snap into their serious mode and skate to center ice.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Let's try to nail that first triple axel this time.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Don't worry about me, I always nail it.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>You nail a double and two thirds axel.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Coach just explodes.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Stop it! You're gonna go back and forth like this for the next hour instead of skating. I should have dealt with this bickering from the start, nipped it in the bud.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz leans in helpfully.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>I think you mean "butt", Coach. Nip it in the butt.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy stares at Chazz in disbelief.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Are you retarded?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz gets pissed off and gets in his face.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Do I look retarded?!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy gets right back in Chazz's face.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Yes. You look, sound and even smell retarded.</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>That does it. You two work it out or I'm done with both of you!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Coach storms off. The door slams shut.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Way to piss off Coach!</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Me?! I worked with Coach for years and never had a problem -- you're the problem!</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, and I guess you're perfect. Fine. We'll do everything the Jimmy Macelroy way from now on.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz skates away.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Why don't we do a whole Jimmy Macelroy routine? I've got it memorized because you never change a damn thing in it.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz starts doing a mincing parody of Jimmy's style.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>I'm a prancing robot named Jimmy Maceldork.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Now Chazz is rigidly moving around like a robot. Jimmy skates out too. He snaps his fingers in Chazz's rock out way and skates in an exaggerated version of Chazz's style -- lots of tough guy expressions with ass shaking and finger guns.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I'm Chazz Lewis! Bang, bang! Watch me shake my backside! Woohooo!</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <parenthetical>(singing)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Domo arigato Jimmy Roboto! Am I a machine or a mannequin?! Domo! Domo!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Now Jimmy is doing awkward pelvic thrusts.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Lock up your daughters and pets everybody, I'm a sex addict! Or at least I say I am because it's easier than showing any self-control or focus!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz gets right in Jimmy's face.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Don't you dare talk about my addiction! You don't know anything about what I've been through.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, but you know everything about me!</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>That's right, I do!</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah?! Well how about this? I was adopted! You hear that? Adopted!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>This really sets Chazz off.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>You were adopted! You were adopted! I know damn well you were adopted -- you were adopted because I wasn't!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>This stops Jimmy cold.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>What are you talking about?</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>You might have been an orphan, but I still am.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz slides down to the ice, his back against the wall.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>You want the story? You got it. It \* starts at an orphanage ... \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>A FLASHBACK</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. MAISON DE GLACE - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The frozen lake we saw in the prologue. We see the dark haired boy skating a solid routine. A few kids are watching.</scene_description>
    <character>KIDS</character>
    <dialogue>Nice, Chazz!/You nailed it, Chazz!</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>The Father had told me, "Trust me, Chazz, skate the best you can possibly skate and you will get everything you want." It looked like it was all about to happen, too, because all I wanted was to be adopted. To be part of a family. To have a dad.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz ignores the other kids. It's obvious he's playing to a crowd of two -- a young Darren Macelroy and his wife. Chazz nails his final move and holds up his arms triumphantly. Darren and his wife rush over to young Chazz.</scene_description>
    <character>DARREN</character>
    <dialogue>That was amazing! You looked so ... focused. Son, Mrs. Macelroy and I would like to ask you something.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>This is it. The moment young Chazz has been waiting for.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Yes, sir?</dialogue>
    <character>DARREN</character>
    <dialogue>Do you think you would get lonely living in a big house with nobody but a team of servants, a dog, your own pony, and a mother and father to keep you company?</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>No! It's what I've always wanted.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Darren gives a big knowing smile.</scene_description>
    <character>DARREN</character>
    <dialogue>Chazz, how would you like to come live with us and be our--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Before the word is out of his mouth, though, Darren's view of Chazz is blocked by three year old Jimmy. Jimmy has obviously taken what Chazz taught him and run with it. He looks and skates like a little angel -- fluid, graceful and capable of moves an adult would be challenged by. Darren and his wife are immediately smitten.</scene_description>
    <character>DARREN</character>
    <dialogue>Who is that?!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Young Chazz can see where this is going. He turns his antics up a notch but the parents only have eyes for the little boy who goes into the amazing spin move Chazz showed him how to do earlier. Darren and his wife sweep little Jimmy up in their arms as young Chazz watches, devastated at first, then pissed. Some of the other kids skate up to him, sympathetic, but Chazz shakes them off and turns and skates away. The Father skates up to Chazz.</scene_description>
    <character>FATHER ST. PIERRE</character>
    <dialogue>I'm sorry, Chazz. But all things happen for a reason. Your time will come.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz looks like a ball of twisted rage.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>My time is now! As God as my witness I will never be hurt again! Because I'm going to be a loner -- a lone wolf. Never allowing anyone to get close to me. There'll be a sheet of ice around this wolf's heart. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>And with Chazz's first grandiloquent speech about his pain and loneliness out of the way, he skates off. BACK TO PRESENT</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>You were still cute like a little puppy -- someone else would have adopted you. But I was 12, and at 12 in the orphan game you're over the hill. It was over for me because of you.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>That's why you always hated me.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy looks down sympathetically at Chazz. Chazz springs to his feet.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>And I still do.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz quickly skates away.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. COACH'S HOUSE - LATE NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Most of the lights are out and all is quiet. That is until we hear keys unsuccessfully trying to unlock the door.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ (O.S.)</character>
    <parenthetical>(drunk)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Goddamn keys ... C'mon, focus.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(laughs hysterically, then sings)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Jimmy Roboto -- focus!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Coach enters from the kitchen and opens the door.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Oh. Hey, Coach. Robert. Couldn't find the right key.</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>I never gave you a key. Get your ass in here.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Coach pulls him in then shuts the door.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>I know what you're thinking. I'm drunk. He's drunk. But he's not. Go ahead, ask me a question. Ask me about any Michael Douglas movie. Go ahead, ask me.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Coach shoves Chazz into a chair.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Look, when you skated singles you could pull this shit and the only one you hurt was yourself. But you're part of a team now . Hear me?</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Umrnm ••• Gordon Gekko from Wall Street, right? Okay, my turn. "I'm the bad guy?" Bill Foster, Falling Down -- hah!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Coach just sits down and stares at Chazz, who isn't so drunk that he isn't a bit disturbed by this.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>I heard about your blow-up with Jimmy today. He was pretty upset--</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>What does he--?!</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <parenthetical>(cutting him off)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>He was upset, but he still came home, did his thirty minutes on the treadmill and got to bed on time.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, yeah, Jimmy has it all: Discipline and focus and technique -- and parents!</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>You think you know everything about everything, don't you, Chazz?</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>I've seen a lot. Been through more.</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Did you know that Jimmy was unadopted? That prick Darren sent him packing the day you two got banned.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz looks shocked at this.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Unadopted?</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>In a way, I guess you helped take away the parents that Jimmy took away from you.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Coach walks to the back leaving Chazz alone. INT. TRAINING RINK - MORNING Jimmy is on the ice, stretching. Chazz shows up with two coffees. Jimmy eyes him warily as he approaches.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Morning. I got you a coffee. Milk, two sugars, right?</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I don't drink coffee.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Oh.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>But thanks.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>\.,..., Chazz smiles then chucks the coffee into the trash. ANGLE ON THE TRASH CAN Katie is inside with her camera. She tries to wipe the hot coffee off as quietly as she can. BACK ON THE RINK Coach hits the ice.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Gentlemen, this is our last practice before Saskatchewan and we've got a \* shitload of work to do. From the top!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz and Jimmy start their routine. They both seem a little awkward with each other. They talk as they skate.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>So ... I've been using your horse shampoo.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, I noticed.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz's neutral coolness cracks slightly with a smile.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>You noticed my hair? It's more lustrous, isn't it?</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <parenthetical>( correcting)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I noticed that you've been using my shampoo. I thought you were drinking it the way you're going through it.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz turns a little away. Jimmy realizes he might have been a little too sharp.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>But your hair is more lustrous.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz looks back. Jimmy gives a slight smile. They are now really skating in sync.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Nice!</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>You know when I first started skating the circuit, I thought you were the coolest thing on ice. The way you kicked ass and never took any crap from anybody.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I had this idea that you would sort of show me the ropes -- be the brother I never had.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz lights up with recognition.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>I felt the same way about Michael Douglas.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>You know Michael Douglas?</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>No, but if I ever met him or even saw him in person I think it would be like that.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The guys are skating with a smoothness and effortlessness we haven't seen before. Coach is beaming. This is what he's been waiting for.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Beautiful transition! You guys want to try the KimSpin?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The guys look to each other and nod.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ/ JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Let's do it!/Yeah!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They separate and both build up speed. Then they suddenly skate at each other and grab each other's arms sending each other in a physics defying cartwheel where each one sails through the air and then both stick their landing just inches from each other. IT IS REMARKABLE!</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Sonuvabitch -- you nailed it!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz and Jimmy high five. Coach rushes over and gets them in a bear hug. ANGLE ON TRASH CAN Katie videotapes the celebration. She wipes a tear from her eye, then some mustard from her arm and fingers.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. CHAZZ AND JIMMY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Jimmy is getting dressed up. He's like a teenage girl the way he keeps putting on shirts, looking in the mirror and yanking them off in frustration. Chazz walks in holding the blacklight.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>You gotta check out their pool table. It just glows.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy quickly tosses on a dress shirt. Chazz can tell something' s up.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>All dressed up with nowhere to go?</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, I was just making sure things still fit. You can't be too careful and ..</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>When you lie you talk too much. What are you up to?</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I want to ask Katie out. I really like her and don't want to screw it up.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Huh. I kind of thought she and I had \* something going on, but go ahead, take \* your shot. It's cool. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy gives a smile and leaves happily. When Jimmy is gone Chazz goes over to Jimmy's bureau and takes his bottle of Tale and Mane and heads off to the shower.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. F.ATIE'S HOUSE - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Jimmy, clutching some banana bread, knocks on the door. Katie opens the door halfway.</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Hi, Jimmy! What are you doing here?</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I just wanted to say Merry Christmas. And bring you good tidings of-- Here, this is for you.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He hands her the banana loaf.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Do you want me to put it under the tree for you?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Katie looks back into the house, which is filled with surveillance equipment and photographs of Jimmy and Chazz.</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Uh, no, that's okay. I'll take it here.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy musters up his nerve.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I like you-- your hair ... is nice ...</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(regroups)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>When you smile at me, I feel the way I do when I nail a really tough move on the ice. . . electric.</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>{gasps)</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Katie ... Would you go out with me?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Katie is too overwhelmed to speak. She just nods like an idiot. Jimmy giggles. The two of them giggle and nod.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. ICE SKATING RINK - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Christmas lights twinkle around this small outdoor rink set up in the center of town. Jimmy guides Katie onto the ice.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Don't worry, I got you. Just take it nice and slow.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They begin to skate. Katie is obviously a very good skater and quickly picks up the pace. Jimmy is clearly surprised at how well Katie skates.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, you're pretty good ... Really good.</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>No, I'm not. My brother says I skate like a duck -- all waddly. He does a very funny imitation of me.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Although Katie is trying to chuckle at the memory of her brother mocking her, she can't pull it off.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>No offense, but it sounds like your brother might be a little crazy. I mean, I'm a world champion skater and I can tell that you're good.</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Maybe I'm okay, but in my family "okay" \* isn't good enough. They're pretty \* competitive and I guess I was kind of a \* disappointment to them.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>This clearly affects Jimmy.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, my dad ... well ... I know exactly how you feel.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They look into each other's eyes.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>You're not a disappointment to me. I love you ... your skating.</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>I love ... your skating too.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>·-...\_,, Celine Dion starts playing over the loudspeaker, and Katie and Jimmy skate with intensity together. He dips her in a wide circle and people stop skating to watch them. Their bodies yield to each other with complete unity. It's like they were made to skate together. After a cradle move, Jimmy guides Katie up and then skates off into a solo spin move. He arches his back so he can watch her as he spins. He comes out of the move and stares across the ice at Katie. Inspired, he holds his arms out like wings and begins gently flapping them. He cranes his neck out to create an even more swan like look. With each flap he gets closer and closer to Katie. His flapping beckons her towards him. Katie doesn't see this as the most ridiculous thing she's ever seen, she thinks it's magnificent. She glides towards Jimmy until he is able to enfold her in his wings.</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Wow.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah. Wow.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back" starts to play over the loudspeaker.</scene_description>
    <character>SIR MIX-A-LOT (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>I like big butts ...</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>You want to sit this one out?</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Um, this is kinda one of my favorite songs ..•</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. KATIE'S HOUSE - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Katie enters and falls against her door with a happy smile.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ (0 . S . )</character>
    <dialogue>How was your date, Sis?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Katie turns on the light to see Stranz and Fairchild.</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Oh. Hey, guys. It was good. I kept Jimmy out past his curfew by ...</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(checks watch)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>... six minutes.</dialogue>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <parenthetical>(explodes)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>If you were doing your job he would be out past his curfew for good! He'd be unconscious in a freight train headed for Mexico, or strung out on heroin in some flophouse!</dialogue>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>Katie, how do you explain this?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Fairchild hits play on the VCR. Tape plays of Chazz and Jimmy nailing the Kimspin.</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>It's the Kimspin. It's pretty radical ...</dialogue>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>I know what it is! How do you explain the fact that you let them come up with a move that amazing?!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Katie shrinks against this onslaught.</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>I cut their power. I'm really trying to mess them up, this just isn't my ...</dialogue>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>If you say "bailiwick" again I will scream until your eardrums explode.</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>... thing.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Fairchild places a tender hand on Katie's shoulder.</scene_description>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>Look, Katie, it's clear that Jimmy likes you. So sleep with Chazz. Nothing breaks a team up faster than jealousy.</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>What?! I don't want to sleep with Chazz. No way!</dialogue>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>Fairchild and I have sacrificed everything for Team Van Waldenberg. Maybe I didn't want cheek implants to create a more balanced smile, but I did it for the team and now I spend every morning shoving them back into place because they drift down to my chin!</dialogue>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>And maybe I didn't want to have sex with that French judge at Nagano so she'd help boost our scores. But I did it ... and went back the next three nights after the competition to do it again and again ... for the team.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>This rattles Katie. Stranz also looks a bit surprised and disturbed by this but carries on.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>And maybe your sister and I don't want to skate seven days a week eighteen hours a day to put food on the table that we can't eat because we have to keep our body fat percentage below 6 percent!</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Isn't there some other way?</dialogue>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>No.</dialogue>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>,.\_,.; Well, wait. There actually is another</dialogue>
    <scene_description>way. A violent dangerous way that can only end painfully for your little skate pals. Is that what you want sis? Katie shakes her head "no."</scene_description>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>Then you'll do what we say?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Katie looks beaten. She nods. CUT TO:</scene_description>
    <character>EXT. WORLD GAMES STADIUM, SASKATCHEWAN - NIGHT</character>
    <dialogue>We are flying over a huge outdoor stadium, filled to capacity. Thousands of camera flashes twinkle below. SUPERIMPOSE: World Winter Games, Saskatchewan, 2006 \* INT. WORLD GAMES STADIUM, SASKATCHEWAN - NIGHT \* A Torch-bearer runs onto a stage at the center of the stadium.</dialogue>
    <character>P.A. ANNOUNCER</character>
    <dialogue>Ladies and gentlemen, Canadian actor and hockey enthusiast: Jason Priestley.</dialogue>
    <character>ANGLE ON:</character>
    <dialogue>The torch-bearer, Jason Priestley, on the stage. He holds up a hockey puck and lights it with the torch. A Games Official hands Priestley a hockey stick. Jason smacks the flaming puck. It sails through the air and ignites a huge FLAME on top of the stadium. The CROWD ERUPTS. IN THE STANDS Jimmy and Chazz cheer with their fellow countrymen. They all wear matching fur-lined stocking caps and suits with slowflake-patterned bowties. INT. CONVENTION HALL - DAY It's Media Day and tables are set up all around the massive room. Athletes sit at the tables to be interviewed by reporters. But no one is interviewing Stranz, Fairchild or pretty much anyone else. Everyone is gathered around Chazz and Jimmy, who are clearly enjoying themselves.</dialogue>
    <character>REPORTER</character>
    <dialogue>Chazz, Jimmy, suppose you don't even medal at these games you think you two would continue skating together?</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>A famous guy once said - "Nobody's an island." Well, with Jimmy I'm really not \* an island anymore. We're connected like \* and archipelago. \*</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY \*</character>
    <dialogue>More like a land bridge. Of course when \* we first started Chazz's gut was like a \* continent. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz laughs and pulls up his shirt and shows off his flat stomach.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Now I'm down to a lean mean peninsula! \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The reporters laugh. A SURLY LOOKING REPORTER stands.</scene_description>
    <character>SURLY LOOKING REPORTER</character>
    <dialogue>This banter is certainly entertaining, gentlemen, but let's not forget the past. I have an interview here with you, Chazz, from Sports Illustrated in 2001. Quote; "Jimmy Macelroy is a lifeless robot on the ice .... "</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy looks a little stung. Chazz tries to backtrack.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>I'm not sure I said that ... exactly. I was talking about the beauty and precision of robots... they had published the rest of the quote you would have seen--</dialogue>
    <character>SURLY LOOKING REPORTER</character>
    <dialogue>They did publish the rest. You went on to say, "The hangers in my closet have more passion than he does." End quote.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Yes ... Yes I •.. hmmm, uh ...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz is trying to figure a way out. Jimmy jumps in. \*</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY \*</character>
    <dialogue>I've got one thing to say: The past is \* the past but Chazz and I are the future, \* and the future is NOW! \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The reporters are blown away by Jimmy's emotion. He smiles \* and turns to Chazz who also starts to smile. \*</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ \*</character>
    <dialogue>(finally got it) \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Yeah, but what you guys can't wrap your \* mind around is how crazy passionate the \* hangers in my closet are. \* Chazz looks completely satisfied. \*</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. CONVENTION HALL - HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER \*</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Chazz and Jimmy are both pumped. They high-five. Then Chazz \* checks his watch. \*</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ \*</character>
    <dialogue>I gotta run. SAA meeting. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>SAA?</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Sex Addicts Anonymous. "Turn weakness \* into strength." \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz takes off. Before Jimmy can head off a DELIVERY MAN \* comes hustling up to him. \*</scene_description>
    <character>DELIVERY MAN</character>
    <dialogue>Jimmy Macelroy?</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY \*</character>
    <dialogue>Uh, yeah. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The delivery man hands Jimmy a package. He opens it, \* revealing some hot cocoa packets. Jimmy reads the note. ANGLE ON NOTE It says: Jimmy, my room tonight at midnight. We'll drink hot cocoa and wish on a star. Love, Katie Jimmy smiles.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. CLASSROOM - EVENING</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>A junior college classroom. There are about eight to ten men and women gathered around in a circle. They look like an average bunch of middling looking people. They're not in particularly good shape, but neither are most people. Chazz is giving a soulful oratory.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>I was just trying ta find some peace, a haven, a place where I can be safe.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz puts his head in his hands. A FEMALE SEX ADDICT uncrosses her legs and leans forward.</scene_description>
    <character>FEMALE SEX ADDICT</character>
    <dialogue>And then what happened?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>There is something in her voice. It isn't a question, it's a come on. The COUNSELOR notices it and looks warily at his group who have all started shifting in their seats.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Well, she was my yoga instructor so I knew she was limber ...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The group looks like it could turn into an orgy at the drop of a hat. There's a lot of inadvertent rubbing and eye darts. The Counselor sees a brush fire about to turn wild.</scene_description>
    <character>COUNSELOR</character>
    <dialogue>But you realized that this would just set you back and further hurt the progress you have made in maintaining personal control.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Yes. Definitely.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The Counselor looks around quickly. They seem to be calming down and settling back in their seats.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Until her friend, the massage therapist, walked in naked holding a big bottle of canola oil. And she rocked my world.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The group shifts forward. The Counselor looks worried.</scene_description>
    <character>COUNSELOR</character>
    <dialogue>Who wants to talk about herpes? Genital warts? Any takers?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>It's like beating back the ocean with a broom but it does get the group in line. At that moment the door opens and Katie hurries in. Every guy in the place immediately perks up. They all make room for her, but she sits next to Chazz, who looks shocked, worried and happy all at once.</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Hi. Sorry, I'm late. I was ... having sex ... a lot.</dialogue>
    <character>COUNSELOR</character>
    <dialogue>Welcome. Why don't you introduce yourself.</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>I'm Katie.</dialogue>
    <character>COUNSELOR</character>
    <dialogue>And ...</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>And? Oh, and I'm a sex addict!</dialogue>
    <character>EVERYONE</character>
    <dialogue>Hi, Katie.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz looks at Katie. He can't believe it. \*</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. PARKING LOT - LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The sex addicts mill outside the entrance, drinking coffee \* and smoking cigarettes. They've all paired up and a few are \* making out. Chazz stands next to Katie, still blown away. \*</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ \*</character>
    <dialogue>You're a sex addict too? \*</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE \*</character>
    <dialogue>Sex. Sex. Sex. What can I say? \*</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ \*</character>
    <dialogue>You said it all. Such a burden. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Katie flips her hair and leans sexily towards Chazz. \*</scene_description>
    <character>KATE \*</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah. Why don't you come to my room \* tonight and we can comfort each other? \* 11:55 sharp. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She walks away with Chazz staring at her the whole time. He \* doesn't even notice that other sex addicts have really started getting serious. Suddenly, BRIGHT HEADLIGHTS illuminate all the sex addicts. \* We see the counselor lean out of the car as he honks. \*</scene_description>
    <character>COUNSELOR \*</character>
    <dialogue>C'mon, break it up! \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They all scatter like rats in different directions. \* Chazz still just stands there, a lone figure looking out in \* the distance at Katie's swaying ass.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. CHAZZ AND JIMMY'S ROOM - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Jimmy is fast asleep. Chazz checks his watch and gets up from his bed. He pauses at the door and takes one last look at his friend. Once he leaves, Jimmy's eyes spring open.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HOTEL - HALLWAY - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Chazz arrives and knocks on the door. He reads from his palm.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <parenthetical>(to himself, struggling)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>We both use sex to replace love and are \* physically hot for each other. But even \* with all that in common I can't do this, \* Jimmy is my friend ...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The door opens, revealing Katie, dressed only in a teddy.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ {</character>
    <parenthetical>(lustful gasp)</parenthetical>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>You're right on time.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She instantly bursts into tears but quickly pulls herself back together.</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Come on in.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz enters the room.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. HOTEL - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Jimmy exits a cab with a big bouquet of flowers.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HOTEL - KATIE'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The room is romantically lit. Sexy music on the stereo. A champagne bucket sits on the floor beside the bed. Chazz is trying to maintain, but the mood is getting the best of him.</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Would you like some champagne?</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>No, thanks. I-- I actually just came because I wanted to say something to you.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz looks up at Katie. She's so hot in that negligee. He's sweating and stammering now.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Do you have a bathrobe, or a parka you could put on?</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Sorry, but I'm hot ...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Katie cringes at the sound of herself trying to be a vixen.</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Wouldn't you be more comfortable saying what you want to say from the bed?</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <parenthetical>(so torn)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>The bed? Probably not. But maybe. Let's see.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz sits down on the edge of the bed. He looks up. Katie is seated directly beside him.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Okay. . . Here goes!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz reaches out grabs Katie's breasts at the exact same moment he blurts:</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Even though we both replace-- God, they \* feel so good -- No, I can't! Jimmy is my friend. Thank you!</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, my God. Do you really mean that?</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>I think so ... No, yes! Yes, I do! I can't go through with this.</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Thank God!</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HOTEL - HALLWAY - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Jimmy, about to knock on Katie's door, sees the door is slightly ajar.</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE (O.S.)</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, thank you, Chazz!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy opens the door and sees ...</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HOTEL - KATIE'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Katie and Chazz are still on the bed. They look up and see Jimmy and suddenly notice that Chazz's hands are still on her breasts. Katie swats his hands away.</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Jimmy--</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>You bastard!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy charges Chazz. Chazz retreats as Jimmy trips on the champagne bucket and crashes through the bedside table.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Hold on, you got it all wrong here!</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>How could you?!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy attacks again.</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Jimmy, stop!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy stands before Chazz, his fists clenched.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I trusted you! I thought we were friends!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy fights back his rage, then turns and runs out of the room.</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Jimmy, wait!</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Jimmy!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They run into the hall in time to see the elevator close.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. HOTEL - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Jimmy runs out of the hotel. After a moment, Chazz and Katie run out too. Jimmy is nowhere to be seen.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. CHAZZ AND JIMMY'S ROOM - MORNING</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Chazz sits awake on his bed. The alarm goes off. He looks to Jimmy's bed. It hasn't been slept in. Chazz sighs.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. SASKATCHEWAN ICE ARENA - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The pairs program is underway. We see several shots of teams on the ice. 1) A couple dressed as Sid and Nancy skate around with big fake smiles plastered on their faces. 2) Frankenstein and the Bride of Frankenstein -- big smiles! 3) A couple dressed like Grant Wood's American Gothic -- even bigger smiles! 4) Stranz and Fairchild, dressed as John Smith and Pocahontas, grab hands and twirl together in a solid pairs spin. Their names move into first place on the scoreboard. They flash the biggest smiles yet. ANGLE ON THE SIDELINES Chazz, wearing a doctor's outfit, paces impatiently. Coach nervously checks his watch.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Where the hell is Jimmy? Chazz, any ideas?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz just looks away.</scene_description>
    <character>RINK OFFICIAL</character>
    <dialogue>Lewis and Macelroy, you're up.</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Look, can we get an extension? Maybe skate last?</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY (O.S.)</character>
    <dialogue>No. We're ready now.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They all turn to see Jimmy, also dressed like a doctor, approach.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Jimmy, you have to let me--</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Shut up.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy blows by him. Coach looks concerned but the music, Foreigner's "Urgent," starts to play. Chazz has no choice but to follow Jimmy onto the ice.</scene_description>
    <character>FOREIGNER (V. 0. )</character>
    <dialogue>You're not shy, you get around. You wanna fly, don't want your feet on the ground ...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The guys start their routine. The crowd is already cheering. Jimmy is stone faced. They come together in a clinch.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Listen to me. Yes, I'm a sex addict, and yes, I had my hand on her breast, but nothing happened!</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>You're not a sex addict, you're an asshole. You wanted revenge because I got adopted -- well congratulations, you got it.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The guys skate apart.</scene_description>
    <character>FOREIGNER (V. 0. )</character>
    <dialogue>You say it's urgent, so urgent, so oh oh urgent ...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>ANGLE ON STRANZ AND FAIRCHILD Listening to the crowd cheering the guys on. They are clearly not happy. Fairchild rips the head off one of her stuffed animals. ANGLE ON THE SIDELINES Coach watches with Kim.</scene_description>
    <character>KIM</character>
    <dialogue>Ooh, beautiful pirouette!</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, but something's not right, they're just off. Sorry, Honey, but I'm going to call off the Kimspin.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Kim looks disappointed as Coach signals the guys. ANGLE ON THE GUYS</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Dammit, Coach wants us to skip the Kimspin.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>That's because it requires teamwork -- something a selfish loner like you will never understand.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Before Chazz can respond, the final notes of the song hit and the guys strike their final poses.</scene_description>
    <character>FOREIGNER (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>Urgent, urgent, emergency!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The crowd rises to their feet and cheers loudly. Jimmy quickly skates off the ice ahead of Chazz.</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE (0. S.)</character>
    <dialogue>Jimmy!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy stops and looks up at Katie who is leaning over the stands with a pleading look. He turns away and hurries off. Their scores are announced.</scene_description>
    <character>DICK BUTTON (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>And that will put Lewis and Macelroy in second place, only a couple points behind fellow Americans, Stranz and Fairchild.</dialogue>
    <character>SCOTT HAMILTON (V.0.)</character>
    <dialogue>This sets up a remarkable match-up for tomorrow.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz and Katie exchange a look as Jimmy disappears down the runway.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. STRANZ AND FAIRCHILD'S ROOM - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Fairchild lays on her bed, totally depressed. Stranz sits on his bed, head in hands. A copy of the newspaper lies between them. Chazz and Jimmy are pictured on the front page.</scene_description>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>We're going to lose. To a couple of ... guys.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Stranz stands, determined.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>No, we are not. Because they aren't even going to make it to the arena tomorrow. I'll make sure of it.</dialogue>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>How?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Stranz smiles.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>It shouldn't be too hard to find someone willing to do a little dirty work.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Now Fairchild smiles. After a moment, they both stop smiling, unsure.</scene_description>
    <character>FAIRCHILD \*</character>
    <dialogue>Internet'? \*</dialogue>
    <character>STRANZ \*</character>
    <dialogue>Right. I'll just type in "Thug \* Saskatchewan." No, what we need is an \* expert. I mean, when you've got a leak \* you call a plumber. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>(has an idea) \* And I think I've got just the plumber to \* call. \*</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. BAR NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>CLOSE ON Stranz. He's talking to someone across from him.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>I need someone taken out. Hurt bad enough that they can't skate tomorrow. Can you help me?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>REVERSE to see Stranz is talking to TONYA HARDING. She shakes her head.</scene_description>
    <character>TONYA HARDING</character>
    <dialogue>No way, Stranz. That whole deal with Nancy was the biggest mistake of my life. I'm clean now -- I'm boxing, you know?</dialogue>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <parenthetical>( frustrated)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Who gives a shit.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Stranz gets up and walks through the bar. He passes a big guy.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, Buddy, wanna earn a couple of easy bucks? You just have to hurt a guy.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The big guy just turns away. Stranz is completely exasperated. He yells out:</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>How hard is it to pay someone to kick someone else's ass?!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Nobody reacts. Defeated, Stranz exits.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. SASKATCHEWAN ARENA - DAY \*</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Chazz gets out of a cab and he's dressed like a bull with little horns and a swishy tail. He fishes out his wallet and pays the cabbie.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Great bull jokes. I never got tired of them.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The Cabbie pulls away. Chazz turns and is immediately smacked on the head with a sap.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Owww!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>We widen to see Stranz is his attacker. Stranz panics and start swatting madly at Chazz's head. It looks annoying and very painful but it's not knocking Chazz out. Chazz is about to turn around when a large hunk of wood whacks him across the head. Standing there is Fairchild, but she's not holding anything. Tonya Harding, on the other hand, is holding the hunk of wood.</scene_description>
    <character>TONYA HARDING</character>
    <dialogue>That's it. Now you're on your own.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Tonya walks away leaving Stranz and Fairchild to pick up and cram Chazz into the trunk of a car. It's not easy but they eventually shove/roll him into it. Stranz slams the door shut but it makes a yucky soft thud sound instead of the crisp metal sound of a trunk shutting. He looks in the trunk and winces. He then does some rearranging of all the shit in the trunk so that Chazz can actually fit. This time it closes.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. OLD RUNDOWN SKATING RINK - EQUIPMENT ROOM - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Chazz, unconscious and still dressed in his bull costume, is on the floor trussed up with rope so his legs are stuck under him and his arms are restricted. He also seems to be tied to a large Molson Beer Moose advertisement. His eyes flutter open. He struggles to stand and realizes he's all tied up.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ \*</character>
    <dialogue>What~.~ Where am I? \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He looks around the room and finally notices that Stranz is \* behind him putting the finishing knot in the rope that ties him to the moose. Stranz is wearing a sixties era suit and tie and his hair is brylcreamed to the side.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ (CONT'D) \*</character>
    <dialogue>Stranz? What are you doing? \*</dialogue>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>I'm tying you up so you miss the \* competition and you and Jimmy are \* disqualified. Then I'm going to the \* arena to win the gold medal in the pairs skating. Adios! \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz snaps. \*</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>You crazy bastard! You won't get away with this. When they find me I'll tell them you kidnapped me!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Stranz just shakes his head.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>And who will they believe? Me, a two time gold medalist or you -- a lowly washed up sex addict?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The truth of his predicament dawns on Chazz. Stranz just calmly walks around as if he's Olivier doing Shakespeare.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>And as for being "crazy." Is it crazy for me to want my greatness to shine for all to see? Crazy to want to meet my glorious golden destiny without some two bit poser and his pretty boy partner getting in the way?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Stranz laughs and shakes his head.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ (CONT' D)</character>
    <dialogue>No, I think it's a far saner thing I do to beat you with a sap and tie you to a chair so you miss your chance to skate.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz actually looks a little impressed by this soliloquy. He slouches and glowers as dramatically as he can.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Chazz Lewis doesn't meet hiJ., destiny -- destiny meets Chazz Lewis, dig? And if destiny doesn't show, Chazz Lewis doesn't wait. He just keeps running his game, one move at a time ...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>For some reason, this puts Stranz a bit on the defensive.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>I'm only going to meet my destiny because, well ... I don't have to explain myself to you, you greasy moron head!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz continues to play it supercool.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Stranz, open your eyes, man. Do you really think the world will just sit there and do nothing when I don't show? Kings and Prime Ministers are gonna--</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz stops, Stranz's outfit finally registering.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Wait, is that your costume for the finals? Who are you supposed to be? Dragnet? Rod Serling?</dialogue>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>No -- JFK.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>JFK? What are you guys skating to?</dialogue>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>You'll see -- oh, wait, actually you won't. Because you're due to go on in--</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(checks watch)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Less than 30 minutes.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Stranz opens the door and starts out.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>Don't worry, Lewis, if I see your destiny I'll let it know where to find you.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Stranz exits and closes the door behind him. Chazz immediately loses his cool veneer and starts trying to rip free from his bonds.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <parenthetical>(Arghhhieeeeyayyyyighhhhughhh!)</parenthetical>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. SASKATCHEWAN ICE ARENA - CONTINUOUS \*</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The finals have started. A couple dressed like aliens skate to the theme from "2001 A Space Odyssey." ANGLE ON THE SIDELINES Jimmy, wearing a matador outfit, stretches as Coach walks up, pissed.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Now Chazz is AWOL -- you wanna tell me what the hell's going on with you two?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy shrugs like a sullen teenager. Coach looks like he wants to clock Jimmy when Katie comes up.</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Jimmy, I can explain about Chazz, you have to listen to me.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>No, I don't.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy starts off but Coach grabs him.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Bullshit. If you and Chazz are going to piss away this chance to make history I at least want to know why.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy stays but refuses to make eye contact with Katie.</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>Jimmy, nothing happened. Yes, I was trying to seduce Chazz--</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <parenthetical>(pained noise)</parenthetical>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>But I didn't want to! I only did it so my brother and sister wouldn't hurt you.</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Who the hell are your brother and sister? Gamblers? I should've seen this coming.</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>No, Stranz and Fairchild. They wanted to break you guys up by having me come between you. But, Jimmy, I swear, Chazz wouldn't go through with</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy looks hard into Katie's eyes. He can see she's telling the truth.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, my God ... that's so great! So-- so you still like me?</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>I think I love you!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy and Katie hug and kiss.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Whoa, whoa, whoa -- so where the hell Chazz?</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I don't know. I laid into him pretty good yesterday about being a selfish asshole. I guess he's not going to show up.</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>No. I don't buy it. Chazz is a lot of things but he's not a pussy. A little name calling wouldn't keep him from trying for the gold.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Then what happened to him?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>\.,../ They all look over to see Fairchild, who's signing autographs.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. OLD RUNDOWN ICE SKATING RINK - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Chazz has managed to break off a moose leg and scoot in his trussed up manner over to the door. He's using his chin to try and turn the doorknob.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>C'mon Chazz. You've been tied up before.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Click -- the door opens. Chazz scoots out and finds himself on the ice of a rundown skating rink. The exit is across the rink. Chazz scoots like mad towards it. Across the rink, next to the Zamboni shed, stands Stranz witnessing Chazz's determined scooting. He checks his watch and then shakes his head. BACK ON CHAZZ He's actually making decent progress when a sound makes him stop. He cocks his head, then turns and looks behind him. A Zamboni is bearing down on him. Stranz is driving, murder in his eyes. Chazz scoots as quickly as he can but the Zamboni is too fast. At the last possible second, Chazz scoots to the side. The Zamboni whizzes past, but starts to turn to come back for the kill. Chazz notices an old pair of skates on the ice. He slides over to them, and by wedging them against the wall of the rink gets enough leverage to start cutting his ropes against the blades. It's slow going, though, and the Zamboni is bearing down on him again when, Snap! the rope cuts. Chazz quickly stands and races off the rink just before the Zamboni crashes into the wall. Chazz stumbles outside while Stranz angrily climbs down from the Zamboni.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. OLD RUNDOWN ICE SKATING RINK - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Chazz limps outside. He's in a crappy, abandoned part of town. He looks to the left then turns to the right to see Stranz running at him and swinging his sap like a madman.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <parenthetical>(Maniacal scream)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Aiiiiiyeeee ! !</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <parenthetical>(Terrified scream)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Eeeeekkkk!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz looks off to his side. There is a steep hill that leads down to the frozen river that runs through the city. He makes a dash for it, pausing just long enough to grab an old pair of skates lying in a pile. He then leaps over the railing and rolls down the hill towards the ice. Stranz looks over the railing. He laughs at Chazz, who sits at the bottom of the hill, putting on the skates.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>What are you going to do, Lewis, put on a show for the hobos and hookers under the bridge?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>But Chazz just shoots Stranz a bird and skates off down the river. Stranz looks off in the direction Chazz is skating. He sees the dome of the skating arena in the distance.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>The skating arena?</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(realizes)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Ah, hell!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Stranz races to his car and peels out.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. SASKATCHEWAN ICE ARENA - CONTINUOUS \*</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Jimmy, Coach and Katie plead with a Canadian Mountie while Fairchild affects her most innocent demeanor.</scene_description>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>Officer, I really have no idea what they're talking about. Now I really need to get into costume.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Don't let her! She and her brother are behind it! Do something!</dialogue>
    <character>CANADIAN MOUNTIE</character>
    <dialogue>Look, I'd like to help, but I'm just the mascot for the games --Monty the Mountie.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Monty salutes. Fairchild smiles until the Mountie Mascot is gone. Then she looks deeply worried. She reaches for her cell-phone. It is pink with fake diamonds all over it. It looks like something a rich Barbie would use.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. FROZEN RIVER - MOMENTS LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Chazz races towards the arena. A pair of recreational skaters are wowed by a man in the bull costume whizzing by. Chazz zips around a bend in the river and frowns. Just ahead, Stranz has parked at the edge of the ice. He finishes lacing up his skates, then moves onto the ice blocking Chazz's path.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>You want a piece of this action?! Then it's time to ante up!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz lowers himself into a crouch and picks up speed. Stranz seems unconcerned. He pulls his hand out from behind his back and Chazz sees he's holding a big metal pipe.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Oh shit.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Stranz winds up to swing, but at the last second, Chazz veers off the ice and jumps onto the river's embankment. He does a sickening face plant into the grass. Stranz smiles until he sees Chazz get up and start to hobble off. Alarmed, Stranz follows. A very slow, careful chase on land ensues. Chazz awkwardly crosses a street. His blade gets stuck in a grate. Stranz slowly makes his way closer. Chazz just manages to get free, He gingerly takes off, Stranz on his tail. We hear Snoop Dogg saying, "Ring shnizzing a ding" coming out of Stranz's pocket. It's his cell phone. He checks the number and flips it open impatiently.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>I know what time it is! Chazz escaped and now I have to catch him. I'll be \* there as fast as I can! \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Stranz puts away the phone and continues hobbling after Chazz. Up ahead, some skateboarders are sliding down a stair railing. Chazz hops up and balances carefully as he slides down on his skates. Stranz follows but slips and lands on his nuts. Chazz hits the ice of the river again. Reveling in being back in his element, Chazz lets out a victory cheer.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, bitch!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He then notices several young children skating nearby.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Sorry.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz looks up and immediately hits the brakes. Ahead of him, the ice ends at a bridge under construction.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Sonuvabitch!</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(then, to kids)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Shit, sorry!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>A concrete stairway leads off the ice. Chazz starts climbing up as best he can. Over his shoulder, he sees Stranz rapidly approaching.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Excuse me. On your left. Coming through.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>It's hard to remember to lift his feet enough to clear the skate blades, so Chazz keeps tripping. Finally, he gets to street level and finds himself at the entrance to a mall. He looks for a way around but hears the whoosh of Stranz's pipe. Chazz rushes inside.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. SHOPPING MALL - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Chazz skate/walks across the marble floor. Stranz is in close pursuit. They hit an escalator. They both try to climb the steps but it's wobbly from the escalator grooves. At the top, Chazz looks around and then awkwardly gets on the \* down escalator. Stranz swats at him as they pass but can't \* balance well enough to get Chazz. Stranz gets to the top and \* follows Chazz on the down escalator. \*</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. SHOPPING MALL - MOMENTS LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Chazz runs down a small embankment and onto the ice again. The arena looms large just ahead. Moments later, Stranz hobbles out, still in pursuit.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. SASKATCHEWAN ICE ARENA - CONTINUOUS \*</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Coach is talking to a rink official.</scene_description>
    <character>RINK OFFICIAL</character>
    <dialogue>Lewis and Macelroy skate in ten minutes. If they're both not here, they're scratched,</dialogue>
    <scene_description>ANGLE ON JIMMY AND KATIE Waiting nervously.</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>I'm sorry, Jimmy, this is all my fault.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I don't know who's fault it is, Katie, but I know you can make it right ... Skate with me.</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>What? I-- I can't do that. I haven't skated competitively in years.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Don't tell me you didn't feel the magic that night we skated together. Sure, you may be a little rusty, but there's a connection between us, and if we take it out onto the ice something beautiful is going to happen.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Katie is touched by this. She's tempted.</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>But we don't have a routine. I don't even have a costume.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>We'll skate a classic Russian routine. And instead of a costume, you can carry a single rose and we'll skate to "Kiss From a Rose" by Seal. What do you say, Katie? Will you make magic with me?</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>I'll find some skates!</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I'll change the music!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy and Katie hug before they rush off.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. FROZEN RIVER - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Chazz begins to build a lead on Stranz. The arena is just up ahead. He yells over his shoulder.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>See ya, sucker!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz whizzes around a corner. His eyes go wide. REVERSE SHOT to see that a mass of yellow caution tape is just ahead, blocking his way. A sign says, "Danger Thin Ice." Beyond the tape, part of the ice has broken away revealing the ice cold river.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Crap.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz is going too fast to stop. He has no choice but to veer off the ice again. But there's no soft grass here, only a guardrail blocking the way from a steep cliff. Chazz flips over the rail and disappears from view. His screams drift off into the abyss. Stranz skates up and looks over the guardrail. STPANZ'S POV Of the steep cliff and nothing else. Chazz is gone. Stranz smiles, then quickly skates away.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. SASKATCHEWAN ICE ARENA - MOMENTS LATER \*</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Coach walks up to Jimmy and Katie.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>We just got the five minute warning. Sorry, Kid, looks like it's over.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy and Katie are smiling like idiots.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Guess again, Coach. Katie and I are going to skate instead!</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>You and Katie? Instead of you and Chazz?</dialogue>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>I don't claim to be as good as Chazz ...</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>You can't change partners in the middle of the competition. That has got to be the stupidest idea I have ever heard. Hey, look, Michele Kwan isn't doing anything for the next hour, why not have her skate with you in the finals?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Coach storms off. Jimmy and Katie look a little sheepish.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Maybe we didn't think it all the way through ...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>At that moment, Stranz hurries by. He gives them a smug wave.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>Step-sis, Jimmy. Where's your partner?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy is about to go after Stranz but Stranz quickly steps onto the ice with Fairchild, who is now dressed up like Marilyn Monroe. Elton John's "Candle in the Wind" plays. ANGLE ON STRANZ AND FAIRCHILD Stranz's JFK chases Fairchild's Marilyn Monroe around the ice. Once he catches her, they segue into an extremely sexual routine, mostly involving her skirt billowing up in the Classic Monroe fashion and JFK coming at her from behind. BACK ON JIMMY AND KATIE A rink official walks by.</scene_description>
    <character>RINK OFFICIAL</character>
    <dialogue>Lewis and Macelroy are on deck.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy and Katie exchange a look. All seems to be lost.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. FROZEN RIVER - CONTINUOUS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>We are CLOSE ON the top edge of the hill Chazz tumbled down. After a beat, a skate appears. It is held in a hand and is being used as a pickaxe. Another skate appears and we see Chazz struggle to hoist himself up.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. SASKATCHEWAN ICE ARENA - MOMENTS LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Stranz and Fairchild skate off the ice, disheveled from their romp and beaming. The crowd cheers loudly all around them. ANGLE ON ANNOUNCERS' BOOTH Dick Button and Scott Hamilton in position.</scene_description>
    <character>SCOTT HAMILTON</character>
    <dialogue>That was an interesting take on American history.</dialogue>
    <character>DICK BUTTON</character>
    <dialogue>Indeed! And those scores keep Stranz and Fairchild in first place. But Lewis and Macelroy are up next.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>ANGLE ON THE RINK The Rink Official stands with Coach, Jimmy and Katie. He's checking his watch.</scene_description>
    <character>RINK OFFICIAL</character>
    <dialogue>I'm sorry, but if both skaters are not here in ... Thirty seconds, you're disqualified.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Coach tries to comfort Jimmy.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>We had a good run, Kid. You should be proud.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>But Jimmy doesn't look placated by this. ANGLE ON THE STANDS At the very top row, a door bursts open and Chazz stumbles in. He's one bedraggled bull. He looks like Dustin Hoffman yelling down to Katherine Ross in "The Graduate," but in a bull costume.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Wait!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>There's no one around to witness this dramatic entrance, though. Chazz looks surprised to be so high up. He runs up to an USHER.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Where's the athlete's entrance?</dialogue>
    <character>USHER</character>
    <dialogue>It's way down around the other side, eh?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The usher points to the opposite end of the arena. Chazz looks down to the ice. CHAZZ'S POV The Rink Official is looking at his watch and shaking his head. BACK ON CHAZZ He runs up to the back row of seats.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, everybody, I need some help!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Everyone turns, shocked to see Chazz standing there in his costume.</scene_description>
    <character>FANS</character>
    <dialogue>It's Chazz Lewis!/Chazz, I love you!/Lewis, you suck ass!</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>I need to get down to the ice -- now! Crowd surf!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>And with that, Chazz runs and leaps on top of the crowd. No one was expecting this, though, so Chazz crushes several people but they soon recover and start passing him down over their heads.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Faster! Over that way!</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(slapping a hand away)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Hey, no freebies!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>ANGLE ON THE RINK The Rink Official is counting down the last seconds. A sudden cheer from the crowd distracts everyone, They look up to see Chazz being passed down the crowd towards them.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>There he is!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy, Coach and Katie race over to catch Chazz.</scene_description>
    <character>RINK OFFICIAL \*</character>
    <dialogue>Lewis and Macelroy ... You're up!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Coach shoves Jimmy forward. \*</scene_description>
    <character>COACH \*</character>
    <dialogue>Get on the ice. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>As Jimmy gets to the center of the rink, the crowd dumps \* Chazz onto the ice. He scurries to the center to meet Jimmy. \*</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Katie told me everything -- I'm sorry I doubted you.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>I'm sorry I felt her up while turning her down. But screw all that -- let's get some gold!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy nods</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <parenthetical>(whispers)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Oh. Remind me afterwards to explain about the music.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The music starts -- Seal's "Kiss From A Rose." Chazz looks confused and slightly panicked as they start to skate, but goes into the routine anyway. They hit their first triple axel and the crowd cheers.</scene_description>
    <character>DICK BUTTON (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>Beautiful triple axel!</dialogue>
    <character>SCOTT HAMILTON (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>"Kiss from a Rose" is an odd choice of music for a bull and a matador, but it seems to be working for them.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The guys continue their routine. Their joy and camaraderie come through. They're hitting all their marks and the crowd is loving it. At one point, Chazz bends over and Jimmy flies up on top of him so his back is resting on Chazz's back. They spin in opposite directions.</scene_description>
    <character>DICK BUTTON (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, my! Amazing!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>ANGLE ON STRANZ AND FAIRCHILD Watching, worried. Stranz looks up at the crowd, already on their feet. He sees the judges, who are actually smiling, enjoying the show.</scene_description>
    <character>STRANZ</character>
    <dialogue>No. Not again.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He reaches down into his bag and furtively pulls out a gun. ANGLE ON CHAZZ AND JIMMY</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>You ready for the Kimspin?</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>I was born ready and nothing's changed since then.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They skate together towards one end of the rink. ANGLE ON STRANZ AND FAIRCHILD Fairchild notices Stranz twisting a silencer onto his gun and \* crouching into a darkened area beneath the stands. She looks \* concerned.</scene_description>
    <character>FAIRCHILD</character>
    <dialogue>Now, go for Chazz's head you couldn't miss that melon.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Stranz nods. He sees Chazz and Jimmy skating towards them. He carefully takes aim. He's about to pull the trigger when a hand suddenly swings in and grabs the gun. It's Hector!</scene_description>
    <character>HECTOR</character>
    <dialogue>You can't kill Jimmy!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He yanks the gun away, then points it back to the ice.</scene_description>
    <character>HECTOR</character>
    <dialogue>I must be the one to kill Jimmy so we will be joined together for eternity!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Stranz shrugs and happily lets Hector through. Hector hurriedly aims and gets off a shot. ANGLE ON CHAZZ AND JIMMY Skating together.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Okay, this is-- ooph!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz winces and grabs his arm. He reels back in pain, nearly knocking Jimmy over. They just manage to recover. ANGLE ON ANNOUNCERS' BOOTH</scene_description>
    <character>DICK BUTTON</character>
    <dialogue>Oooh. What happened there?</dialogue>
    <character>SCOTT HAMILTON</character>
    <dialogue>I'm not sure. But that may have just cost them the gold.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>ANGLE ON CHAZZ AND JIMMY</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Are you okay?</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>I think I pulled a muscle.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Your arm's bleeding!</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Actually, I think I just got shot.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy's eyes widen. ANGLE ON HECTOR</scene_description>
    <character>HECTOR</character>
    <dialogue>I shot Chazz! No! I don't want to be joined for eternity to Chazz!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He goes to aim again, but sees the cops rushing over. Hector quickly shoves the gun in Stranz's hands and races off. Before Stranz can react, the cops fly in and tackle him. ANGLE ON CHAZZ AND JIMMY</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>I don't know if I have the Kimspin in me.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy notices Chazz's blood is trailing onto the ice.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, my God! We have to stop!</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>No! We're not quitting! We're so close. We just need a finish. Get us there, Jimmy.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>What can I do? If we can't do the--</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Improvise!</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I-- can't ...</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Yes, you can. I've never said this to anyone but myself -- you're the shit. All you have to do is forget about all that focusing crap and skate. Skate like that first day I saw you on the lake.</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I don't even remember that.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>It's inside you, Jimmy. Just block everything else out and feel it.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>ANGLE ON ANNOUNCERS' BOOTH</scene_description>
    <character>SCOTT HAMILTON</character>
    <dialogue>There's an awful lot of talking going on out there. I don't think the judges are going to like that.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>ANGLE ON THE RINK Indeed, the judges look less than pleased. The crowd is also out of it a bit. ANGLE ON CHAZZ AND JIMMY Jimmy notices that Chazz is losing more blood on the ice. He looks around the rink.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I see something ... I don't know if it will work ...</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Go for it, Jimmy. I ... I trust you.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy nods and starts to lead Chazz around the ice. ANGLE ON COACH Standing with Katie. He looks confused.</scene_description>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>Something's wrong ... This isn't the routine ...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Katie looks transfixed though. ANGLE ON CHAZZ AND JIMMY Jimmy is in a zone. He dips Chazz so that Chazz's injured arm is on the ice. He skates in big, dramatic loops with Chazz laid out on the ice below him. The crowd is silent, a little confused.</scene_description>
    <character>DICK BUTTON (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>Well, this is certainly a change of pace in their routine.</dialogue>
    <character>SCOTT HAMILTON (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>It's definitely different ... I just don't know what the hell they're doing.</dialogue>
    <character>ANGLE ON CHAZZ AND JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Chazz's arm bounces a little on the ice.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Ow!</dialogue>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>Sorry. We're almost done.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Chazz's eyes flutter. He starts hallucinating.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>It's okay ... Foolish creature of the forest ... Yo, Gladrial, check my magic wand, it's numb ... I can't feel anything ...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy dips Chazz again and spins him around in a small quick circle. The song ends and Jimmy lifts Chazz up and they strike a final pose. There is complete silence for a beat. Then, the crowd explodes in a huge cheer. This jolts Chazz back to life. He's mystified by the cheers, but smiles. He then notices some blood on the ice.</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, man, I bled all over the ice ...</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(off the crowd's cheers)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Why are they cheering so much? \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy points to the big overhead TV screens. We see SHOTS ON THE SCREENS OF A HUGE, PERFECTLY SKATED ROSE. OVERHEAD SHOT - THE ROSE IN ALL ITS GLORY Jimmy has used the blood from Chazz's arm to paint a giant red rose on the ice. BACK ON JIMMY AND CHAZZ</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>Holy crap.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>·"- ANGLE ON DICK BUTTON AND SCOTT HAMILTON</scene_description>
    <character>DICK BUTTON</character>
    <dialogue>Good God! It's a beautiful red rose! Amazing!</dialogue>
    <character>SCOTT HAMILTON</character>
    <parenthetical>(a little creeped out)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I think it's blood ... Chazz's blood.</dialogue>
    <character>DICK BUTTON</character>
    <parenthetical>(delighted)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Talk about commitment!</dialogue>
    <character>PA ANNOUNCER {V.0.)</character>
    <dialogue>Scores for Lewis and Macelroy: 6.0, 6.0, 6.0, 6.0. Lewis and Macelroy win the gold!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The crowd goes even wilder. Chazz and Jimmy embrace. Katie and Coach rush over and hug them too.</scene_description>
    <character>KATIE</character>
    <dialogue>You did it!</dialogue>
    <character>COACH</character>
    <dialogue>I don't know where the hell that came from, but I had a goddamn tear in my eye! \*</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>That was all my partner -- he had the vision.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>A team of PARAMEDICS comes running up. One starts feverishly \* checking Chazz's vitals. \*</scene_description>
    <character>PARAMEDIC \*</character>
    <dialogue>This man's lost a lot of blood! \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Jimmy excitedly keeps talking. \*</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>I thought about the early figure skating Coach talked about, the designs on the ice. And then I just let go of my inhibitions like Kim said. But I couldn't have done it without my partner.</dialogue>
    <character>CHAZZ</character>
    <dialogue>And my blood.</dialogue>
    <character>PARAMEDIC \*</character>
    <dialogue>We gotta roll! \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The other paramedic urgently waves the ambulance to back up \* to get to Chazz. \*</scene_description>
    <character>DARREN (O.S.)</character>
    <dialogue>Jimmy! Jimmy! Congratulations, son!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Darren wrestles his way through the crowd to Jimmy.</scene_description>
    <character>DARREN</character>
    <dialogue>I knew you could do it, son! All you needed was some tough love to bring it out! That was my plan all along!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Darren tries to embrace Jimmy, but Jimmy holds him off. He holds up his hand and extends the middle finger. Darren looks at the bird, shocked. Jimmy moves his finger off to the left, and Darren follows it with his eyes. POW! Jimmy uses his other hand to deck Darren.</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY</character>
    <dialogue>You should have focused.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Coach smiles. Katie smiles. Jimmy looks over to Chazz who \* is giving him a thumbs up as he's wheeled on a gurney into \* the ambulance. \*</scene_description>
    <character>JIMMY (CONT'D) \*</character>
    <dialogue>I'm going to ride with my partner. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He turns and gives Katie a long passionate kiss and then \* breaks away to hop into the back of the ambulance. Coach and Kim are standing there with their arms around each \* other, smiling happily. \*</scene_description>
    <character>COACH \*</character>
    <dialogue>You can ride with us, Katie. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The ambulance pulls out. From inside the ambulance we hear \* Chazz's weakening voice. \*</scene_description>
    <character>CHAZZ (O.C.) \*</character>
    <dialogue>Don't forget my gold medal! \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Coach, Kim and Katie head for the exit. The ambulance heads \* down the length of the arena, then turns into one of the large service exits. As the ambulance turns we reveal Hector \* is clinging to the opposite side. He shimmies over to the \* back and as the ambulance disappears into the passageway \* Hector opens up the back of the ambulance. \*</scene_description>
    <character>FADE TO BLACK. \*</character>
  </scene>
</script>

Summary: At the 2002 World Winter Sport Games, raunchy sex addict Chazz Michael Michaels and sheltered, effeminate Jimmy MacElroy tie for the male single skating gold. Standing together on the podium, the two start an argument which escalates into a fistfight. They are stripped of their medals and banned for life from competitive skating. Three and a half years later, both have grudgingly taken on alternative occupations. Chazz performs in a children's ice show. Jimmy works at a sporting goods store. His stalker, Hector, tells him of a loophole: he's only banned from competing in men's singles skating, he can still compete in pairs. Jimmy contacts Coach Goddard in hope of entering the upcoming World Winter Sport Games. Looking for a pairs partner at the local ice arena, he runs into the just-fired Chazz. They fight and are arrested. Watching the news video of their fight, Coach Goddard gets an idea. He visits them in jail to convince them to skate as the first-ever male-male pairs team. Coach Goddard puts them up in his cabin and arranges a secret rink for practice, telling them they must learn to get along to skate together. Jimmy and Chazz perform well at the Winter Sports Games qualifiers, worrying brother and sister competitors Stranz and Fairchild Van Waldenberg. The Van Waldenbergs guilt their sister Katie into secretly filming Jimmy and Chazz practicing. Jimmy and Katie are attracted and Chazz coaches Jimmy on how to ask her out. After they go on a date Katie's siblings threaten to harm Jimmy unless Katie seduces Chazz to make Jimmy jealous. Coach Goddard tells Jimmy and Chazz they must perform the complicated and dangerous "Iron Lotus" maneuver to wow the judges. The only other attempt resulted in the man decapitating the woman; Goddard is convinced it only failed because it should have been two men performing it. Katie pretends to be a member of Chazz's sex addicts meeting, then invites Chazz to her room and tries to seduce him. Chazz refuses out of respect for Jimmy, which delights her. But Chazz can't resist grabbing her breasts. Jimmy arrives and witnesses this, and is outraged at their betrayals and runs off despite Chazz's attempts to apologize. Stranz and Fairchild kidnap Chazz and Jimmy to sabotage their performance. Chazz escapes and skates on the waterways all the way to the arena, with Stranz in hot pursuit. While Fairchild is restraining Jimmy, she reveals that she and her brother demanded that Katie have sex with Chazz to make him jealous, and that Chazz wouldn't go through with it out of respect for him. Jimmy, overjoyed, escapes as well. Chazz and Jimmy arrive at the ice rink just in time to compete. Fairchild breaks her necklace and throws a pearl onto the ice. Chazz skates over it and breaks his ankle, rendering him unable to perform his role in the Iron Lotus. Jimmy and Chazz switch places. Although they have never practiced each other's roles, they perform it perfectly, and win the competition. Jimmy reconciles with Katie. Stranz and Fairchild are arrested. They argue before kissing each other incestuously. Jimmy and Chazz are awarded the gold medal and fly off into the sky via rockets on their skates.