<script>
  <scene>
    <scene_description>,-'/^S</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>UNTITLED COMEDY</dialogue>
    <scene_description>by Lowell Ganz & Babaloo Mandel</scene_description>
    <character>FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT</character>
    <parenthetical>(with all revisions)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>(.r DECEMBER 19, 1988 rf^</dialogue>
    <scene_description>TB</scene_description>
    <character>1</character>
    <dialogue>WE OPEN on a TIGHT SHOT of Mickey Mantle (or Willie Mays, but</dialogue>
    <character>EXT.</character>
    <dialogue>someone clearly identified with baseball twenty-five years ago). He swings and hits a home run.</dialogue>
    <character>2</character>
    <dialogue>A man in his thirties (FRANK) and a nine year old boy (GIL) enter</dialogue>
    <character>ANGLE ON BOX SEATS</character>
    <dialogue>their section looking for their seats. An usher (STAN), approaches and examines their tickets helpfully. Stan is skinny. He wears a furry mitten on one hand, which is used to wipe seats. He performs this service for Frank and Gil, who sit down. Gil looks around EAGERLY.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>We missed four innings.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>I told you, I had to stop off and do some business.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(calls to Stan)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Hey, you. Muscles.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Stan approaches. Frank steps OUT INTO the aisle, and he and Stan converse in WHISPERS for a few seconds. Stan NODS and Frank gives him money. Frank returns to Gil.</scene_description>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>Gil, this is Stan. He's gonna watch you for awhile. I have some friends I'm meeting. I'll meet you back here by the ninth inning. Have fun.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Frank leaves. Gil accepts all this passively. Stan sits in the aisle next to him.</scene_description>
    <character>STAN</character>
    <dialogue>So, Gilly, big baseball fan?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Kinda'.</dialogue>
    <character>STAN</character>
    <dialogue>Your Dad bring you here a lot?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Once a year on my birthday. Then he pays an usher to watch me.</dialogue>
    <character>STAN</character>
    <parenthetical>(sympathetic)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Oh, I see.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>jfi&S</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>CONTINLZD:</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>You have to understand. My father, in his own childhood, was without a positive male influence.</dialogue>
    <character>STAN</character>
    <dialogue>Huh?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>His own father kicked him out when he was fifteen. So my Dad was taught to see child-raising as a job, a burden. A set of restrictions rather than opportunities. A prison rather than a playground. Do you understand what I'm saying?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Stan is STUNNED and AMAZED.</scene_description>
    <character>STAN</character>
    <dialogue>You don't talk like a kid.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Well, I'm not really a kid.</dialogue>
    <character>STAN</character>
    <dialogue>You're not a duck.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>This is a memory of when I was a kid. I'm thirty-five now. I have kids of my own. In fact, you don't really even exist. You're an amalgam.</dialogue>
    <character>STAN</character>
    <dialogue>A what?</dialogue>
    <character>GZL</character>
    <dialogue>A combination of several ushers my Dad left me with over the years. I've combined them into one memory.</dialogue>
    <character>STAN</character>
    <dialogue>Why?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(getting excited)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Stan, this was a great symbolic moment in my life - my father dumping me with you. It's part of why I spent so much of my childhood with such a shaky sense of self-worth so little self-esteem. It's why I swore it would be different with my kids.</dialogue>
    <character>(CONTINUE</character>
    <dialogue>,./fv</dialogue>
    <character>TB G I L</character>
    <parenthetical>(calmer)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I want to help them feel good about</dialogue>
    <scene_description>f v themselves - feel strong, feel happy. That'3 all. That's my dream. Strong, happy confident kids.</scene_description>
    <character>STAN</character>
    <dialogue>It's a nice dream.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Well, it's like my grandmother says. What you put into something that's what you get out.</dialogue>
    <character>STAN</character>
    <parenthetical>(nods)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Mm... So that's great... You've got a lovely family... and I'm a fuckin' amalgam.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN (O.C.)</character>
    <dialogue>Gil.</dialogue>
    <character>STAN</character>
    <dialogue>Who's that?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>That's my wife.</dialogue>
    <character>STAN</character>
    <dialogue>Nice.</dialogue>
    <character>3</character>
    <dialogue>KEVIN is nine. Taylor (a girl) is seven. JUSTIN (a boy is</dialogue>
    <character>ANGLE ON LITTLE GZL, KAREN AND THEIR THREE KIDS - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>three.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Little Gil))</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Gil?</dialogue>
    <character>GZL</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>ANGLE ON KAREN</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>The game's over, honey.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>ANGLE ON GIL Only now it's grown-up Gil.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Oh.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(he looks around)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>/^\*V Let's go.</dialogue>
    <character>(CONTINUE:</character>
    <dialogue>f^ \</dialogue>
    <scene_description>TB Karen and the kids get up.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Taylor, that hot dog was dinner, honey, not a souvenir.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil takes it and tosses it away.</scene_description>
    <character>E4</character>
    <dialogue>EXT. STADIUM PARKING LOT - DAY - MOS</dialogue>
    <scene_description>It is late afternoon of a very hot day. As CREDITS ROLL, the BLAYLOCK family trudges across the lot. Gil is carrying Justin on his shoulder. He and Karen also carry a variety of souvenirs - pennants, inflatable bats, stuffed dolls, hats, tee-shirts, etc. They look up and SEE a lot of similar looking vans all parked in the same general area. They peer at them, trying to identify their own van. Gil points to a van with a sock on the antenna. Gil SMILES, proud of his ingenuity. ANGLE ON THE VAN DOOR SLIDING OPEN RAPID CUTS of Gil and Karen loading their kids and their junk into the van, including buckling Justin into his car seat. Gil is perspiring freely. It's work.</scene_description>
    <character>EXT. FAST FOOD RESTAURANT - LATE AFTERNOON - MOS</character>
    <dialogue>CREDITS CONTINUE as the van pulls into a jammed parking lot. The</dialogue>
    <character>D4</character>
    <dialogue>van gets cut outof a parking spot.</dialogue>
    <character>C4</character>
    <dialogue>CREDITS CONTINUE as Gil waits on line. The place is packed, in</dialogue>
    <character>INT. FAST FOOD RESTAURANT - MOS</character>
    <dialogue>front of Gil, a heavy MAN seems to be taking forever. Gil peers around him trying to SEE what's taking so long. Finally the heavy man leaves with an enormous order.</dialogue>
    <character>B4</character>
    <dialogue>CREDITS CONTINUE as Gil, carrying his own large order, crosses to</dialogue>
    <character>EXT. RESTAURANT - MOS</character>
    <dialogue>his van.</dialogue>
    <character>A4</character>
    <dialogue>INT. VAN - MOS</dialogue>
    <scene_description>CREDITS CONTINUE as Karen is busy mediating some dispute that seems to> center on the souvenirs. Through the window, we can SEE - but Karen can't - Gil, his arms loaded, attempting to get Karen's attention so that she will open the door for his. He YELLS to no avail then bangs the door with his shoulder and yells some more. CREDITS END.</scene_description>
    <character>4</character>
    <dialogue>The Blaylocks' are driving hose froa the game. They all wear</dialogue>
    <character>INT. VAN - EVENING - DUSK</character>
    <dialogue>baseball hats. They're finishing their food. Kevin is SINGING.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>/Jfl^V TB 4 CONTINUED:</scene_description>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <parenthetical>(sings)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>"You're sliding into first And you're feeling something burst Diarrhea... Diarrhea. You're sliding into third And you got a juicy turd Diarrhea... Diarrhea."</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil and Karen can't decide whether to laugh or be digusted. Taylor is HYSTERICAL.</scene_description>
    <character>KEVIN (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>"You're sliding into home And your shorts are full of foam Diarrhea... Diarrhea. You're sitting in your Chevy And your shorts are kind of heavy. Diarrhea... Diarrhea"...</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(to Taylor)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>That'8 it. Remember it. Because if I have to repeat it, it's gonna cost you money.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <parenthetical>(gently)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Kevin... Where'd you learn that song?</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>Last summer, at camp.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Ah... that was money well spent.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>A5 EXT. BLAYLOCK ROUSE - DUSK AS</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The family has returned from the game. They all get out of the car and go into the house.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. BLAYLOCK BOY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>WE SEE Gil STRUGGLING to place a sleeping Kevin in an upper bunk. He succeeds then turns to Justin. Justin is NAKED, wearing a GUN BELT with two GUNS.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>That's what you want to sleep in? You'll be cold. .</dialogue>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>CONTINUED:</dialogue>
    <dialogue>Justin PUTS ON a cowboy HAT.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>That's better.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Karen enters.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Taylor doesn't feel well. She wants you.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Oh....</dialogue>
    <scene_description>j ^ N</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>CONTINUED:</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <parenthetical>(takes the pajamas)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I'll deal with Justin.</dialogue>
    <character>�</character>
    <dialogue>GIL</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Okay... What do you say, later on, when the kids are asleep, I wear this outfit. (indicates Justin)</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>She's in our bed.</dialogue>
    <character>INT.</character>
    <dialogue>Gil enters. Taylor looks ILL.</dialogue>
    <character>MASTER BEDROOM</character>
    <dialogue>TAYLOR</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(sad)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Hi, Daddy.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Hi, sweetie. You don't feel so good?</dialogue>
    <character>TAYLOR</character>
    <dialogue>Uh-uh.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Do you feel like you want to throw up?</dialogue>
    <character>TAYLOR</character>
    <dialogue>Okay.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She does, immediately, in the bed. Gil stares, PARALYZED. Karen enters.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Gil, could -</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Karen SEES what's happening.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, my God, Taylor! Gil why are you just standing there?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>What do you want me to do, get a camera?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Taylor starts to CRY.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>It's okay, baby.</dialogue>
    <character>6</character>
    <dialogue>GIL</dialogue>
    <character>CONTINUED:</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Taylor)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Sure, it's all right, don't worry, honey. We'll just sell the house.</dialogue>
    <character>A7</character>
    <dialogue>Establish house with a couple of interior lights on.</dialogue>
    <character>EXT. BLAYLOCK HOUSE - NIGHT</character>
    <dialogue>7</dialogue>
    <dialogue>The bed is made with fresh linen. Karen is lying in bed,</dialogue>
    <character>INT. MASTER BEDROOM - LATER</character>
    <dialogue>reading. Gil ENTERS. He looks at her and stops. He goes into a suave-cocky attitude.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>I know that look. That's the look of a woman who's been sexually aroused by the sight of a man cleaning up a childs' vomit. Yes, I guess I look - pretty good.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She LAUGHS a little.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>All right. Just this once I won't make you beg.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She LAUGHS more. He adjusts the mirror. Karen reaches into an ashtray and gets a LIT JOINT. She SMOKES.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>Yes, I - Where'd you get that?</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>It's old. It's stale. I found it in a shoebox.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Karen, what if one of the kids walked in?</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>I'll tell them I have glaucoma.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Karen, I'm serious -</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <parenthetical>(annoyed)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Okay, you're right, you're right.</dialogue>
    <character>7</character>
    <dialogue>CONTINUED:</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She puts it OUT.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>You know, just once or twice a year, you have a day... I'm a little tense, that's all.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>/SBK TB Gil stands on the bed.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Tense or..• excited, my little mynx?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>{' Are you ready to journey with me to a land of pleasure visited only by a fortunate few?</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <parenthetical>(amused)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I think so.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Then let the games begin.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He drops down on top of her. They EMBRACE.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN (CON'T)</character>
    <parenthetical>(sudden thought)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Oh, can you come with me to see Kevin's principal Monday morning?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>I love it when you talk to me about school and meetings. Now talk to me about shopping.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>I'm sorry. I just keep forgetting to mention it and I just thought</dialogue>
    <scene_description>' of it.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Fine. I'll be there.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The embrace again. They KISS. Gil stops.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>What's the matter?</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Nothing. I was a little tense, but I'm getting -</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>No, with Kevin. Why are we seeing his principal?</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>I don't know. His teacher says he's been making that face a lot.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Wha£, this?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil makes a tense, rigid face.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>i</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>J\*\*</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>(</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>(not pleased)</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>He makes that same face at Little League. The other kids are having fun, they're dancing in the outfield, they're eating grass. He's making that face.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil again demonstrates.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>You know what his teacher asked me?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>What?</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>If we'd ever taken him for a psychiatric evaluation.</dialogue>
    <character>GZL</character>
    <parenthetical>(incredulous)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>What?</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>She van just asking.</dialogue>
    <character>GZL</character>
    <dialogue>Why? Because he makes a face? Has she ever looked in a mirror?</dialogue>
    <dialogue>You know, the face, the crying, the nervousness, - he can't finish his work... Don't worry about it. We'll talk to the principal. I'm sure it's nothing. Cone here.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She holds out her arms. They embrace again. They kiss. Gil stops. He's ANGRY.</scene_description>
    <character>GZL</character>
    <dialogue>Yen know that really pisses me off. A kid is a little different, s little special - needs a little •ere attention - teacher's gonna put a label en him. "Problem kid." when ve talk to the principal let's find out who Kevin's teacher's</dialogue>
    <scene_description>onne be next year - make sure Tt'e not one of these hysterics.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>You're right Gil, we'll talk to them. Kevin's great, he.'s not a problem.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>^</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>UJ.U..r.CJ</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Right. kid...</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Now, if he was my sister's</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Garry...</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Now there's a boy with problems.</dialogue>
    <character>INT.</character>
    <dialogue>An extreme CLOSE-UP of GARRY. He's thirteen and his EYES are</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN'S HOUSE - HALLWAY - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>darting crazily, suspiciously. REVEAL that he is CLOSING a combination LOCK on his bedroom door. He then PULLS a HAIR from his HEAD, licks it and attaches it to the door and the frame. He looks around to make sure he hasn't been observed. He heads for the living room carrying a large paper bag. INT. HELEN'S LIVING ROOM - DAY \* HELEN is in the living room taking inventory on her modestly supplied LIQUOR CABINET. She SEES Garry, who doesn't stop. Garry is SULLEN. Helen attempts to engage him in conversation. She keeps her voice light and cheery for the effort.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Hi, Garry. Up so early?</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Where are you going?</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>out.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>What's in the bag?</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Nothing.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He OPENS the front door. She FOLLOWS him.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>The whole family's coming over tonight. Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle Gil, the kids -</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He CLOSES the door on her.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <parenthetical>(to the door)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Nice talking to you.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>TB ) CONTINUED: Helen stands there and SIGHS DEFEATED. moment, then goes to Julie's room. She considers a</scene_description>
    <character>10 INT. JULIE'S BEDROOM - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>Helen KNOCKS. A radio is TURNED OFF.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE (O.C.)</character>
    <dialogue>Yes?</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Julie, can I come in? I need to talk to you a second</dialogue>
    <scene_description>There's a pause and the door is UNLOCKED. Julie is sixteen. She's in a nightgown. She looks SLEEPY. Helen ENTERS.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>The whole family's coming over tonight. I don't know why but I really need your help cleaning up, okay?</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, just give me a few minutes. I'll be right out.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Are you okay? I thought I heard you moaning last night.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>I had a little stomach ache. I'm Fine.</dialogue>
    <character>- HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>You hate me?</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>What?</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>For making you study so much the last couple of months and giving up a lot of dates?</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(grudging)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>No, you were right.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>TB 10 CONTINUED;</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <parenthetical>(smiles)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Those S.A.T. scores are your ticket, Julie. I'd still like to discuss the idea of an Eastern school.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>Uh-huh.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>And when you get to college, you'll meet plenty of boys you'll like just as well as that Tod.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(annoyed)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Why do you say "that Tod?" That sounds so -</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>I'm sorry. Let's not get into that again. It's been pleasant for a minute. I should get started. Fourteen people. Spaghetti and \* salad, huh? I'd better make a \* steak for my dad. "</dialogue>
    <scene_description>TB 10 CONTINUED: Helen EXITS, SHUTTING the DOOR.</scene_description>
    <character>,Q</character>
    <dialogue>JULIE</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Are you okay?</scene_description>
    <character>TOD (O.C.)</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>TOD, an eighteen year old boy, slides out, face up, from under the bed. He's in his underwear.</scene_description>
    <character>TOD (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>Man, your mother can talk. She hates my\_ ass.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Julie gets up and LOCKS the door.</scene_description>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>It's such a cute ass. Last night she hard the moaning... She thought it was me.</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah...</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(teasing)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You're gonna have to try to control yourself, Toddy.</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>With you, it's impossible.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Julie turns on the radio. He throws her DOWN ON the bed and they begin to play a matinee.</scene_description>
    <character>TOD (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>Ooh, wait. I brought something.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He sets a camera up on the bureau. There's a long wire leading from it to a remote control.</scene_description>
    <character>TOD (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>WE can record our love.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>/$™f\*\ TB</scene_description>
    <character>10</character>
    <dialogue>JULIE</dialogue>
    <character>CONTINUED:</character>
    <parenthetical>(likes it)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Ooh...</dialogue>
    <character>11</character>
    <dialogue>Helen is on the PHONE.</dialogue>
    <character>INT. HELEN'S KITCHEN - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>WE HEAR O.S. MUSIC from the radio.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Susan. Helen. Did I loan you my big platter?... I thought so. Would you bring it tonight. I need it to serve... Thanks... No, still no word on what it's about... Oh, Julie got 1291 on her S.A.T.'s... Yeah... How's Patty?</dialogue>
    <character>12</character>
    <dialogue>SUSAN is ON the PHONE. She's younger than Gil. She looks very</dialogue>
    <character>INT.</character>
    <dialogue>healthy, thin, very nice body. This is the living room and it's loaded with books. CLASSICAL MUSIC is playing softly.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>well, we're a little disappointed with the effort she's been giving lately towards her work. Math, French, everything's gone downhill. Nathan's talking to "her now. He's trying to find out what's wrong.</dialogue>
    <character>13</character>
    <dialogue>NATHAN is in his thirties. He's kind of a young-academic type.</dialogue>
    <character>INT.</character>
    <dialogue>He's talking to Patty who is OFF-CAMERA.</dialogue>
    <character>'NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>Look, Patty, if you want to have just an ordinary academic career and attend an ordinary university, fine, but I think you're selling yourself way short.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Susan enters quietly.</scene_description>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>How's it going?</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>I don't know. Sometimes I feel as though we want it aore than she does.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>yfffP™! . j0^f\</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>Patty, you know we love you. Could</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>you just give your father that little extra effort he's looking for?</dialogue>
    <character>ANGLE ON PATTY</character>
    <dialogue>She's three years old.</dialogue>
    <character>PATTY</character>
    <dialogue>Okay, Mama.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>That's all I ask.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>14 EXT. HELEN'S HOUSE -"DUSK Li Gil's kids are running around on the lawn chasing each other. I They chase each other into the house.</scene_description>
    <character>15</character>
    <dialogue>FRANK BLAYLOCK, a man of sixty, is at a little bar that's been</dialogue>
    <character>INT.</character>
    <dialogue>I set up. He's talking to Susan. The entire family is there.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Although not always in the living room at the same time. WE HEAR the noise of Gil's children. Gil comes over to the bar and OPENS a can of SODA.</scene_description>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>Gil, you have a good memory. Was it yours or Helen's or Susan's wedding I got drunk at?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>It was all three, Dad. Congratulations.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>Well, which one did I punch the bandleader?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>That was mine. We have pictures. I'm having them blown up for the commitment hearings.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Susan LAUGHS.</scene_description>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Susan)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You think he's funny? when he was a kid, he wasn't this funny. He sat in his room all day.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(to Gil)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Boy, you were a moddy little</dialogue>
    <scene_description>f^ son-of-a-bitch. TB GIL Yeah, I wonder why.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HELEN'S KITCHEN - DUSK</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Helen and Karen are working on dinner.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Is Garry coming?</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Who knows. He's out with his bag". I wish I knew what was in it, but he hides it. I mean, is it money, ammunition, a human head...</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <parenthetical>(concerned)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Do you think it's drugs?</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>No. I had a police dog sniff this room.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <parenthetical>(amazed)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Really?</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>This is my child. Remember - the little boy who wouldn't leave my side? - Now if I take a step towards him, he takes a step away. I don't know what's happening to him, except he's miserable and he won't talk to me, and I don't know how to help him.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <parenthetical>(hesitant)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Did you ever consider having Ed talk to him?</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Are you kidding? Ed doesn't even acknowledge that he had these two kids. He's got his new wife and his new family... He won't even fix my kids' teeth anymore. He says it's uncomfortable. God, I wish he'd drop his drill down his pants.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Are you seeing anybody?</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Garry's biology teacher asked me out.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>LO.V " -." - - J :</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>... Well, he's not the type I</dialogue>
    <scene_description>/\*""\* usually go for.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Well, that's good.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They LAUGH.</scene_description>
    <character>17 INT. HELEN'S LIVING ROOM - DUSK</character>
    <dialogue>ANGLE ON NATHAN AND PATTY Patty's reading -</dialogue>
    <character>17</character>
    <dialogue>slowly, but well.</dialogue>
    <character>PATTY</character>
    <dialogue>"The Penal Colony" by Franz Kafka...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil approaches.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>So, Nathan, Patty a doctor yet?</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>Mock if you will.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>All right.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>We treat our children like they were adorable little morons. When in point of fact, they are more capable of absorbing and retaining information than we are.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>What are you saying? Patty can learn things I can't learn.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>Patty...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Nathan UNZIPS a BRIEFCASE and pulls out two cards which each has dozens of dots stuck on them in random patterns.</scene_description>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>Patty, which of these is the square root of 8,649?</dialogue>
    <character>PATTY</character>
    <parenthetical>(points to a card)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Ninety-three.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil SHAKES his HEAD as if to clear it. f^ (CONTINUEDi</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>They're sponges, Gil. Sponges,</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>waiting to absorb.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Justin comes over.</scene_description>
    <character>JUSTIN</character>
    <parenthetical>(points to the card)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I want that.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>See?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Nathan gives Justin the card.</scene_description>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>Let me give you some advice. Forget about Kevin and Taylor, it's too late. Work on Justin</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, Justin is very bright. In pre-school het... \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil stops and STARES. ANGLE ON JUSTIN He's PEELING the DOTS OFF the card and eating them.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Justin, slow down. I'll get you some dip.</dialogue>
    <character>18 INT.</character>
    <dialogue>Karen and Helen have been joined by Susan. Susan is putting</dialogue>
    <character>KITCHEN - DUSK</character>
    <dialogue>salad on plates. There's e stack of Tupperware containers and Susan is taking the food out of them. Karen examines Susan's food while Susan and Helen talk.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>Remember that guy you went out with in college? Jeffrey Sanders. You always chased me out of the room whenever he came over.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Oh yeah.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>I saw him today.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN \*</character>
    <dialogue>God, what a loser.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>V</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>In a Rolls.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>HELEN</dialogue>
    <scene_description>I meant me.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <parenthetical>(indicates Susan's food)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>What is that?</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>Oh. Nathan and Patty and I are power-eating. We bring our own food everywhere. Nathan turned me on to it and I never felt better.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Where do you get this stuff?</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>It's mostly stuff Nathan grows in the backyard.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>He's a wonder.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Kevin and Taylor run through SCREAMING HAPPILY at high speed and into the backyard. Justin is chasing them. Justin is wearing a SCARY MASK, and brandishing a fork.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <parenthetical>(barely turning)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>That's not safe, Justin.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She grabs the fork from him as he runs by.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Susan)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Well, you look amazing.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>That'a the gym. Nathan got that research grant so he's home allday with Patty. So I go to the gyn for two hours.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>That's interesting. The other day I spent two hours cleaning out our van.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Helen)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Can I take those out for you?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>4P>\*.</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>(handing her plates)</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, that'd be great.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Susan exits. Karen watches her go.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Don't you ever get the urge to throw Susan to the floor and jam Ho-Hos down her mouth.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Oh. Let's do it later.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The DOORBELL. Frank sticks his head IN.</scene_description>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>This is itJ Everybody in the living room. This is the big surprise.</dialogue>
    <character>19 INT.</character>
    <dialogue>Everyone has gathered, Marilyn OPENS the front door. A young man</dialogue>
    <character>LIVING ROOM - DUSK</character>
    <dialogue>in his late twenties is REVEALED. He's very good-looking, very self-assured.</dialogue>
    <character>MARILYN</character>
    <parenthetical>(thrilled)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Larry!J My baby!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She HUGS him. ANGLE ON THE OTHERS</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <parenthetical>(mutters)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Oh shitJ'</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Well put.' •</dialogue>
    <character>JUSTIN</character>
    <dialogue>Who is that?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(as if happy)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>My kid brother Larry. Your Uncle. Neat, huh?</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(then, eotto, to Helen)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You'd better set a few extra places. I'm sure the poliee will be here any second.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>ANGLE ON LARRY .</scene_description>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>C\*'' Hiya, son.</dialogue>
    <character>TB 19 CONTINUED:</character>
    <dialogue>He HUGS Larry.</dialogue>
    <character>-</character>
    <dialogue>Gil and his sisters exchange knowing, SOUR LOOKS.</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Here, Dad. Just a little something for being the best Dad in the world.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Larry's siblings look NAUSEOUS. Frank OPENS his present, it's a classic model CAR.</scene_description>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>A Stutz! This is great.</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>You got it, spend it on the people you love. Is that Grandma?</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, she's still alive.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Larry HUGS her.</scene_description>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Jesus, Grandma, you got short.</dialogue>
    <character>GRANDMA</character>
    <dialogue>I'm shrinking.</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY '</character>
    <dialogue>Bummer... Gilbof</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil gives him a nice, w a n hug.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Hi, Larry. What's it been, three years?</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>About that.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>You stopped wearing the turban1</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah!.... Susan 1 My God, you look like a model.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(hugs, her)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>... x1 know it's been hard.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Helen!...</scene_description>
    <character>COOL (O.C.)</character>
    <dialogue>Dad.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Everybody turns and SEES a four-year-old BOY of mixed ethnicity They STARE.</scene_description>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <parenthetical>(not angry)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You were supposed to wait outside. So I could introduce you.</dialogue>
    <character>MARILYN</character>
    <dialogue>Why don't you do it now, Larry?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>#\*></scene_description>
    <character>(CONTINUED:</character>
    <dialogue>i#£""</dialogue>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>Everybody this is my son... Cool.</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>NATHAN</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(sotto to Gil)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>He named his son after an air-conditioning setting?</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>Your son?</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>It's a long story. Let's eat.</dialogue>
    <character>GZL</character>
    <parenthetical>(sotto, to Nathan)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Keep Patty away from my brother. He'll suck the intelligence right out of her!</dialogue>
    <character>20 INT.</character>
    <dialogue>All the adults.are seated.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN'S DINING ROOM - DUSK</character>
    <dialogue>The meal is being finished.</dialogue>
    <character>MARILYN</character>
    <dialogue>Why didn't you ever write us that you had a son?</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>I didn't know myself until a couple of months ago. See, a few years ago, I was living in Vegas with this girl. Showgirl. She was in that show "Elvis on Ice." Anywho, we drifted apart, as people do in these complicated times. Then a couple of months ego she shows up with Cool, tells me "you watch him, I shot someone, I have. to leave the country. That's a parent? Anyway, we're beck in town, because I've got something really huge cooking. Enormo. Monster. Dad, this is it. I'm ejama be taking care of all of yea from now on. .</dialogue>
    <character>MARILYN</character>
    <parenthetical>(with concern)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Larry, this isn't another get-rich-guick scheme, is it?</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>What's wrong with getting rich quick? Quick is the best way to get rich.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(more)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>i</dialogue>
    <scene_description>TB FRANK (to the others) Look who I'm talking to. You ever see her family? They find a nickel, they huddle together and bury it like squirrels. (to Larry) what's the deal, son? What do you have going?</scene_description>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <parenthetical>(as if giving the secret of the ages)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Has anyone heard of hydroponics? \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>BLANK STARES.</scene_description>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, that's great.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(amazed)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Look who made a connection.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>Hydroponics is the growing of plants without eoil. Larry, are you using suspension hydroponics or coarse sand hydroponics?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Larry is STUMPED.</scene_description>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>I don't... Hey, there's a guy with glasses and a lab coat that aakes that decision. I make the deal. And I got to thinking. Cool's had no kind of life. No family. So while I'm locking this thing down, I thought it would be nice if we stayed with you.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <parenthetical>(happy)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>With us?</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Couple of weeks.</dialogue>
    <character>MARILYN</character>
    <dialogue>The thing is, we don't have the big house anymore. We didn't need it. We just have one bedroom for us and one for Grandma.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>(CONTINUEDl r TB NATHAN Grandma's certainly welcome to stay with us a couple of weeks. It would be valuable for Patty tohave multi-generational influences.</scene_description>
    <character>GRANDMA</character>
    <dialogue>Fine with me.</dialogue>
    <character>MARILYN</character>
    <dialogue>I'll have to give you a list of her medications - when and how much - Oh, and you'll have to pick up her shower chair. And her hearing aid batteries and her magnifying glass for reading -</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The LIGHTS go OUT suddenly. There's a group GASP.</scene_description>
    <character>MARILYN</character>
    <dialogue>What happened?</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>Your mouth used up all the power.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Don't panic, Dad, we can still find the bar.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>I'll get a flashlight,</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(she bumps into something)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Aah!</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>I'll get it, sis. You sit still.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>WE HEAR Gil go.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>There's a flashlight in my night table, Gil</dialogue>
    <scene_description>WE HEAR Gil go to the bedroom.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Be careful, honey.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>WE HEAR Gil go to the bedroom.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>/f^\ (ysiis)</dialogue>
    <scene_description>I've got it.</scene_description>
    <character>20</character>
    <dialogue>CONTINUED:</dialogue>
    <scene_description>WE HEAR him coming.</scene_description>
    <character>- ;</character>
    <dialogue>GIL</dialogue>
    <scene_description>I can't turn it on.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Bring it to me.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil is in the room.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Where's the switch - Oh! I found it.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>WE HEAR a small motor, but there's no light.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>What is this?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>All of a sudden, all the lights come back ON. Gil is standing in the middle of the room holding a VIBRATOR that is running in his hand. Everyone looks at Helen. Helen is extremely EMBARRASSED.</scene_description>
    <character>TAYLOR</character>
    <dialogue>Mommy, what is that?</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>It's an electric ear cleaner.</dialogue>
    <character>TAYLOR</character>
    <dialogue>It's kind of big.</dialogue>
    <character>GRANDMA</character>
    <dialogue>It sure is.</dialogue>
    <character>21</character>
    <dialogue>It's NOISY and hectic. Karen has two OPEN LUNCH BOXES in front</dialogue>
    <character>INT. GIL'S KITCHEN - MORNING</character>
    <dialogue>of her and she's rapidly making two sandwiches. She's in a housecoat. The kids are at the table, eating cereal. The T.V. is on to cartoons. Kevin and Taylor are dressed for school. Justin is in pajamas. The entire scene is in a rapid tempo.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <parenthetical>(out of patience)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Taylor, you cannot wear that dress.</dialogue>
    <character>TAYLOR</character>
    <dialogue>Yes, I can!</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>It's too short. It doesn't fit you anymore. It could fit one of your dolls or Daddy's grandmother, but that's it.</dialogue>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>I want to wear it.</dialogue>
    <character>TAYLOR</character>
    <dialogue>KAREN</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Okay, look, I don't have time to argue. Jeanine's going to be here in five minutes with the car pool You want to look ridiculous? Fine.</scene_description>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>I don't want a lunch box anymore.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Why not?</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>The sixth graders say it's faggy.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>What do they use?</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>Paper bags.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Fine.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She digs out a paper bag.</scene_description>
    <character>TAYLOR</character>
    <dialogue>Oh! I need three empty milk containers.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>When?</dialogue>
    <character>TAYLOR</character>
    <dialogue>Today.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Taylor, why didn't you tell me?</dialogue>
    <character>TAYLOR</character>
    <dialogue>I forgot.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Karen OPENS the refrigerator and removes three containers of milk. Then gets a large empty plastic container. She begins t; pour the milk OUT OF the three containers. Gil enters, in a suit, dressed for work.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Honey, you're not even dressed. We're supposed to be at school in twenty minutes.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>>#\*•. Gil DIALS the PHONE. TB 21 CONTINUED: I know.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>,</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Taylor, that dress is too short. Change it.</dialogue>
    <character>TAYLOR</character>
    <parenthetical>(sweetly)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Yes, daddy.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She leaves the table. Karen reacts.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>At least let the spoon drift into \* your mouth. \*</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(into phone)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Lois, it's Gil, let me talk to Steve.</dialogue>
    <character>JUSTIN</character>
    <dialogue>I want Bullwinkle. \*</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Steve, it's Gil.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Justin changes the channel.</scene_description>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <parenthetical>(very loud)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Heyll</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Karen spills some milk.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Jesus, Kevin!</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, I'm on the phone here.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(into phone)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>My kid.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>^</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>(to Kevin)</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Must you scream like that?</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <parenthetical>(almost crying)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>He changed it right in the middle of what I was watching.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(into phone, over lapping)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Steve, I've taken a long look at that cattle deal and I don't like what I'm seeing.</dialogue>
    <character>JUSTIN</character>
    <dialogue>I want Bullwinkle.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>/ff^s (^</scene_description>
    <character>TB21</character>
    <dialogue>CONTINUED:</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>You little jerk.</dialogue>
    <character>JUSTIN</character>
    <dialogue>I'm not a jerk.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Karen pulls out the television cord. "</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>It's almost time to go anyway. \*</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(into phone)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>No, I don't... Oh, come on, Steve, that's bullshit.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <parenthetical>(disapproving)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Gil.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Bullshoot. '• \*</dialogue>
    <character>JUSTIN</character>
    <dialogue>This has too many raisins.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Quickly Karen PICKS OUT raisins. Taylor returns in a new dress.</scene_description>
    <character>TAYLOR</character>
    <dialogue>Okay, daddy?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>That's my girl.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(into phone)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Yes, I think the walnuts were a \* better investment. You get land, \* that's equity. If the crop fails, you got the wood from the trees.</dialogue>
    <character>JUSTIN</character>
    <dialogue>Now there's not enough.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Taylor POURS cereal. J^V</scene_description>
    <character>21</character>
    <dialogue>CONTINUED:</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <parenthetical>(very loud)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Hey!</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Kevin, goddammit.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, can we keep this down to a roar? I'm earning a living here.</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <parenthetical>(almost crying)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>She took the prize. She took it last time.</dialogue>
    <character>TAYLOR</character>
    <dialogue>I did not. Liar.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Taylor, you did.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(losing patience)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Kevin, we can work it out.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(more)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>/ff^.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>••(\*•\*</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>You don't have to yell and you don't have to cry, sweetie. Okay?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(into phone)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Look, I'll ue in, in an hour. Can't we just wait an hour?</dialogue>
    <character>JUSTIN</character>
    <dialogue>The raisins are milky.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Car HORN.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Let's go. Kevin, don't forget your retainer. We... Kevin, you don't even have your shoes and socks on.</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <parenthetical>(angry)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I couldn't even find them.</dialogue>
    <character>TAYLOR</character>
    <dialogue>He didn't even look.</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>Oohl</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He begins to CHOKE Taylor. She SCREAMS.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Stop that! No choking. If there's any choking done in this house your father will do it. What am I saying?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Car HORN.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Honey, don't you hear the horn?</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(snapping)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Yesi</dialogue>
    <character>23 EXT.</character>
    <dialogue>Gil and Karen hurriedly enter a medium-sited public school.</dialogue>
    <character>SCHOOL - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>24 OMIT SCENE 24</dialogue>
    <character>25</character>
    <dialogue>INT. PRINCIPALS'S OFFICE - DAY</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The principal is a woman, MRS. MANERO. Gil and Karen are seated in her office,</scene_description>
    <character>MRS. MANERO</character>
    <dialogue>Gil... Karen... I think we have to \* be very careful about Kevin's \* educational enviornment. \*</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Absolutely. \*</dialogue>
    <character>MRS. MANERO</character>
    <dialogue>With that in mind - I don't \* think Kevin should come back \* here next fall. I'm going to \* recommend that he be transferred \* to a school that offers special \* education classes. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Pause. NERVOUS SILENCE.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(worried)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You mean... 'cause he's so smart?</dialogue>
    <character>MRS. MANERO</character>
    <parenthetical>(gently)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Well... actually, I mean a class for children with emotional problems.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil and Karen stare DUMBFOUNDED. The door OPENS. A; pleasant man named DR. LUCAS enters. Xf^v</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>Hi. Sorry, I'm late. You must be</dialogue>
    <character>DR. LUCAS</character>
    <dialogue>the Blaylocks. I'm Jeffrey Lucas.</dialogue>
    <character>MRS. MANERO</character>
    <dialogue>Dr. Lucas is a Child Psychologist. He's been observing Kevin for the last couple of months.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Why?</dialogue>
    <character>MRS. MANERO</character>
    <parenthetical>(calming)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Mr. Blaylock. This is a public school. Thirty-eight kids to a class. We estimate that Kevin's teacher spent at least twenty per- cent of her time this year dealing with Kevin. That class is going to finish the year behind. It isn't fair.</dialogue>
    <character>DR. LUCAS</character>
    <dialogue>Kevin is a very sweet, very sensitive, extremely tense little boy. He needs some special attention.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil is STUNNED.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>It's cause he was first.</dialogue>
    <character>DR. LUCAS</character>
    <dialogue>Hm?</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>It's because he was our first. I think we were very tense when Kevin was little. I mean if he got a scratch, we were hysterical. By the third kid, you know, you let him juggle knives.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>/f"^ TB DR. LUCAS On the other hand, Kevin my have been like this in the womb. Recent studies indicate that theee things are all chemical.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(pointing at Karen)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>She smokes grass.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Gil!</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(to Dr. Lucas)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I never smoked when I was pregnant.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>But in college you were like a chimney. I thought you were gonna join a reggae band. You know, there could have been, uh... chromosome... distortions...</dialogue>
    <character>DR. LUCAS</character>
    <dialogue>Mr Blaylock, that's extremely unlikely.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>You! You let them go wild. You let the\* do anything.</dialogue>
    <character>GZL</character>
    <dialogue>I do not...</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>You let them eat all kinds of junk. They watch TV like this...</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(she places the pals of her hand on the tip of her nose)</parenthetical>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Throw the TV's out. Throw 'em in the garbage. You and I will perform works from Shakespeare.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They realise they're embarrassing themselves. They stop.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>I'm sorry. I'm a little thrown off by this.</dialogue>
    <character>DR. LUCAS</character>
    <dialogue>Gil... Karen... you should not: look upon the fact that Kevin will be going to a special school as any kind of failure on your part.</dialogue>
    <character>\</character>
    <dialogue>TB No.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>I'll blase the dog.</dialogue>
    <character>DR. LUCAS</character>
    <dialogue>In an educational environment that is more sensitive to his needs</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Manero and Lucas)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Okay, look. First of all, Kevin is not going to special school! Forget it. Whether it's right or not, there's a stigma. People are very cruel, especially kids. I will not expose Kevin to that cruelty. If we have to we'll send him to private school. I don't care what it costs, I'll get a second job.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Karen takes Gil's hand. She likes what he said.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Or I can get a job.</dialogue>
    <character>DR. LUCAS</character>
    <dialogue>Mr. and Mrs. Blaylock, this is a problem that won't just go away</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>' If necessary we'll find Kevin a</dialogue>
    <scene_description>private therapist.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>That's right. Look... it's a problem, we're aware of it now, we're his parents, we can handle it.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil puts his hand on Karen's back and RUBS it AFFECTIONATELY.</scene_description>
    <character>DR. LUCAS</character>
    <dialogue>Well... The next school year is four months off... Let's see what can be accomplished.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil NODS FORCEFULLY.</scene_description>
    <character>26 EXT.</character>
    <dialogue>Gil and Karen exit the building. They're quiet -</dialogue>
    <character>SCHOOLYARD - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>still STUNNED.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil stops. He stares at the schoolyard. "#^x •sm.R</scene_description>
    <character>26</character>
    <dialogue>DOZENS of KIDS are playing happily.</dialogue>
    <character>ANGLE ON SCHOOLYARD</character>
    <dialogue>Kevin sits by himself on a</dialogue>
    <scene_description>bench. He doesn't SEE his PARENTS. ANGLE ON GIL AND KAREN They watch.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Don't tell my father Kevin's going to be in therapy... I don't want to give him the satisfaction.</dialogue>
    <character>27</character>
    <dialogue>Julie and Tod are walking away from the Fotomat. Tod SNATCHES a</dialogue>
    <character>EXT.</character>
    <dialogue>photo envelope from Julie, both a little EMBARRASSED.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>Not in the street!</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>I want to see.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She GRABS for it. He holds it OVER his HEAD. She JUMPS. He KISSES her. A long time. Then he takes out the PICTURES. She COVERS her eyes. He looks at them. He's CONFUSED. He riffles through them.</scene_description>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>What is this?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Julie looks.</scene_description>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>That's the party celebrating my mother's promotion at the bank.</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>But where are your tits?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Julie takes the pictures back to the Fotomat.</scene_description>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>This is the wrong batch. This is my mother's. There should be another envelope for Blaylock.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He goes in the back. He returns quickly.</scene_description>
    <character>CLERK</character>
    <dialogue>That was already picked up.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>By who?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He SHRUGS. Julie looks very NERVOUS. TB</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>^3 INT. FRANK'S GARAGE - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>A TARPAULIN is PULLED OFF a beautiful classic car.</scene_description>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, wow!!</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>I knew you were the one who'd appreciate this. Three years. Every night. Every week-end. I eat dinner out here. It was junk when I found it. First time I got laid was in a car like this. Your mother and Gil and the girls think I'm pissing good money down a well.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Frank takes two BEERS OUT OF a small refrigerator and gives one to Larry.</scene_description>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>You and I have bigger dreams than they do.</dialogue>
    <character>ANGLE ON THE HOUSE</character>
    <dialogue>MARILYN</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(yells)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Frank.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>What?</dialogue>
    <character>MARILYN</character>
    <dialogue>Cool just finished lunch.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>I'll call the newspapers.</dialogue>
    <character>MARILYN</character>
    <dialogue>I thought maybe you and Larry could take him somewhere.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <parenthetical>(annoyed)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I'm showing Larry the car.</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Just plop him down in front of the TV. That's what he always does.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Marilyn goes back inside.</scene_description>
    <character>(CONTINUED 1</character>
    <dialogue>TB</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Frank)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>How'd you do on the football</dialogue>
    <scene_description>\[ season?</scene_description>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <parenthetical>(shrugs)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You know, I never bet enough to get hurt.</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Wasn't that Super Bowl incredible? Right down to the last minute.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>Amazing.</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>They're usually not that close.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>No one.</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <parenthetical>(a little too eager)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>No. That's right. Ususally the winning team covers the point spread. Usually, you can count on it.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>Take a beating?</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>No thanks, I already took one.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They both LAUGH.</scene_description>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <parenthetical>(more somber)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Anyway, I had to pay off and it's left as a little...</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>What do you need?</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Ha? Oh, come on, don't insult me. I didn't come here to be insulted.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>Come on, you're putting e deal together you gotta look like you can piss with the big boys.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>{</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>See, you know.</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>FRANK</dialogue>
    <scene_description>How much?</scene_description>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Couple of thousand. Three, tops.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>Three.</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Tops.</dialogue>
    <character>2S INT. HELEN'S LIVING ROOM - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>Helen is FROZEN. The door SEES the</dialogue>
    <character>29</character>
    <dialogue>seated on the sofa. She's looking at SNAPSHOTS, she's Her eyes are BUGGING OUT. Her head starts to SHAKE. OPENS and Julie rushes in. She stops short when she pictures.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <parenthetical>(without looking up)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>This one, I think, is my favorite. I'm going to have it framed and put up on the mantel. So when people come over, they can say</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(calmly)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>"Why, Helen, is that Julie with a boy's penis resting on her nose?"</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(lamely)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>It was just for fun...</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Well, I'm glad to know it isn't a job. That's that Tod, isn't it? There's one where you can see his face.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(more on the offensive)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Is that what bothers you? That I did those things or that I did them with Tod?</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Gee whiz, Julie, there are so many things about this that bother me, I really don't know how to separate them. Oh, here's something for my wallet.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>Tod' very important to me.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>TB it.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>We've got the pictures to prove</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(appalled)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>This is your room. You did this right here in the house.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>Well, I thought someone in this house should be having sex. I mean, with something that doesn't require batteries.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Julie heads for her room.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>What did you say to me? You come back here. You come right back here! God dammit!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Julie goes in her room and CLOSES the door. Helen FOLLOWS. She tries the door. It's LOCKED. She's FURIOUS.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Julie, open this door.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>No response.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <parenthetical>(angry)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I would just like a little respect. Not a lot. A little. Do you know why I'a having sex with machinery. Because your father left to have a party and I stayed to raise two kids and I</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(louder)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>have no life! I...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The door OPENS and Julie exits carrying a SUITCASE.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>What are you doing?</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>I'm leaving before we say things we'll regret.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>You're going to say something worse than the battery remark?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>. Julie stops.</scene_description>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>Tod and I are in love. Not "going steady" love. Love! I need him, he's my life. He touches me and</dialogue>
    <scene_description>TB want to hear this.</scene_description>
    <character>JULIE (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>See? You can't deal with it. Tod's working now. He's got an</dialogue>
    <character>" '</character>
    <dialogue>apartment. I'm moving in with him.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Garry enters carrying a larger bag. He crosses.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <parenthetical>(assuming a pleasant attitude)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Hi, Garry.</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Hi.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>I'm moving out, Garry.</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>•Bye.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He exits into his room.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>See, you've upset your brother. If you walk out that door against my wishes, don't even think about coming back.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>Fine.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She leaves. The door is left OPEN. Helen turns her back to the door and fumes.</scene_description>
    <character>30 EXT. HELEN'S HOUSE - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>Unseen by her, Julie has stopped on the front walk. Julie</dialogue>
    <character>30</character>
    <dialogue>turns to look back at Helen. Julie appears HESITANT. Then with fresh resolve, she turns and again walks away from the house and disappears.</dialogue>
    <character>31 INT. HELEN'S HOUSE - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>Helen turns and rushes to the door.</dialogue>
    <character>31</character>
    <dialogue>jflf^K j(WZK</dialogue>
    <scene_description>TB (calls)</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>J u l i e . . . I'm h e r e i f you need me, sweetie.</dialogue>
    <character>32</character>
    <dialogue>A CLOSE-UP of Patty SCREAMING. She seems UPSET... She lunges</dialogue>
    <character>EXT.</character>
    <dialogue>forward. REVEAL that she is in a little karate outfit. She smashes a board with her fist. Nathan is hol-ing the board.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>Very good, honey.</dialogue>
    <character>ANGLE ON GREAT-GRANDMA</character>
    <dialogue>(We'll call her "Grandma") She is staring. She fails to comprehend the point of this.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Patty)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Okay, one more. You see, Grandma, Patty is studying Eastern philosophies. Our future leaders are going to have to be much more in tune with the Oriental mind.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Grandma just stares, BEWILDERED. Nathan holds UP the BOARD.</scene_description>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>Zero in on the target. That's it.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Susan getting out of her car.</scene_description>
    <character>SUSAN (O.C.)</character>
    <dialogue>Nathan. I'm home.</dialogue>
    <character>.' NATHAN</character>
    <parenthetical>(distracted by Susan)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You're early.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>I have good news.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <parenthetical>(lowering the board)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Patty's FIST shoots in HITTING Nathan in the MOUTH, KNOCKING him DOWN.</dialogue>
    <character>33 INT.</character>
    <dialogue>Susan is in her,gym clothes. She's a little sweaty. She's</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN AND NATHAN'S BEDROOM - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>taking off her/leotards. Nathan enters dabbing his lip.</dialogue>
    <character>/</character>
    <dialogue>NATHAN</dialogue>
    <character>/</character>
    <dialogue>\</dialogue>
    <scene_description>\*"\*" What's up?</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>She puts her arms around him and clasps her hands behind his neck.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>I'm going to teach summer school classes. That means we'll have vacation money.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, great.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>Mexico?</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>Si, si.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>Gil and Karen will take Patty. I just want to call them.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She PICKS UP the PHONE. Nathan takes it away.</scene_description>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>I'm not real pro on the idea of Patty spending a week with Gil.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>Why not? They offered.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>He's a wonderful guy, but... I'm concerned about his jocularity. He's very lighthearted aBout things I - we - consider important.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>She has fun over there. You know, she... scampers. She cavorts.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>Try this. We take Patty with us.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>To Mexico?</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>It's a perfect opportunity to start her on Spanish.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>Or cliff diving.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>Hm?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>^rf^v</scene_description>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>Nothing. Jocularity.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>/PK</scene_description>
    <character>33</character>
    <dialogue>NATHAN</dialogue>
    <character>CONTINUED:</character>
    <parenthetical>(kisses her cheek)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>It'll be fun.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>Nathan, I thought it would be nice if you and I could be alone.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>We will. We'll have two rooms.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He kisses the air in her direction.</scene_description>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>Which one will I be in?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She STARES. She's not happy. She goes into a WALK-IN CLOSET. She moves some stuff and digs out a shoebox. She OPENS the box, REVEALING candy, cookies and packaged cakes. She rips open, a pack of cup cakes and pushes one into her mouth.</scene_description>
    <character>34</character>
    <dialogue>Gil gets OFF the ELEVATOR carrying a briefcase. He OPENS</dialogue>
    <character>INT. OFFICE COMPLEX - UPPER LOBBY</character>
    <dialogue>a door on which is written "Robinson, Thompson and Brodsky. Business Managers."</dialogue>
    <character>35</character>
    <dialogue>Gil ENTERS.</dialogue>
    <character>INT. GIL'S OFFICE - RECEPTION AREA - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>He's still angry.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(to receptionist)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Is Dave in? \*</dialogue>
    <character>RECEPTIONIST</character>
    <dialogue>Yes, but he's exercising - \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil heads right for Dave's office. \*</scene_description>
    <character>36</character>
    <dialogue>37</dialogue>
    <character>SCENE OMITTED</character>
    <dialogue>INT. DAVE'S OFFICE - DAY</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil bursts in. Dave is on the treadmill.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>When were you gonna tell me? \*</dialogue>
    <character>DAVE</character>
    <dialogue>Uh-oh. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>/&fc\</scene_description>
    <character>35</character>
    <dialogue>STEVE</dialogue>
    <character>CONTINUED:</character>
    <dialogue>The cattle! The friggin' moo-moos.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Their frickin' legs are stickin' up in the air. Thank God you kept out clients out of that deal. Steve HUGS him.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Steve, are we gonna dance?</dialogue>
    <character>STEVE</character>
    <dialogue>Maybe, I'm taking you to lunch. A nice lunch. You're late.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Steve leaves him. PHIL RICHARDS approaches. He's also about Gil's age.</scene_description>
    <character>PHIL</character>
    <dialogue>Got a minute?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>ijres</scene_description>
    <character>37</character>
    <dialogue>CONTINUED:</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Lenny called me this morning. He</dialogue>
    <scene_description>wanted to know where I thought we should take Phil Richards to celebrate his partnership.</scene_description>
    <character>DAVE</character>
    <dialogue>That asshole. No one was supposed to hear about that for another month.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>And what? In the meantime you were gonna have me killed? How could you do this to me? That partnership is mine. You said it was just held, up by Ted's surgery and when he came back, you'd make it official.</dialogue>
    <character>DAVE</character>
    <dialogue>Well, it turns out Ted and Dan weren't completely certain that's how we wanted to go.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Holy shit!</dialogue>
    <character>DAVE</character>
    <dialogue>They had concerns. They had legitimate concerns.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Like what?</dialogue>
    <character>DAVE</character>
    <dialogue>Like what are you doing for the company? Do you help us get clients? Do you help us keep clients?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Yes!</dialogue>
    <character>DAVE</character>
    <dialogue>How?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>By doing great work. By saving your ass. What happened to those cattle, Dave? Those cattle you were so hot to invest in.</dialogue>
    <character>DAVE</character>
    <dialogue>f\* (mumbles)</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They died. TB GIL (cupping his ear, he already knew the answer) They what?</scene_description>
    <character>DAVE</character>
    <dialogue>They died.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>They died. Their frickin' legs are sticking up in the air. They're in moo-moo heaven. I\_ kept you out of that deal, remember?</dialogue>
    <character>DAVE</character>
    <dialogue>I never said you didn't do good work. You do great work.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>So?</dialogue>
    <character>DAVE</character>
    <dialogue>It's not enough. Every firm does good work. Look, I know you're smarter than Phil, but the guy works like a Trojan. He shmoozes clients, he brings in business, he's here nights, weekends - hell, he wears a beeper for when I need him. I own the guy. And that's what puts your name on the door.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>This is really coming out of nowhere. I've been here eight years - I'm the backbone of this operation - and if I don't get this partnership... I gotta think about going somewhere else.</dialogue>
    <character>DAVE</character>
    <dialogue>I have to tell you, Gil, I don't consider that a realistic idea. You go someplace else, you're gonna have to get in line behind younger guys who have been there longer and are more committed and willing to take less money.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil SHAKES his HEAD. Dave gets off the treadmill and puts his arm over his shoulders. jm, V</scene_description>
    <character>37</character>
    <dialogue>DAVE</dialogue>
    <character>CONTINUED:</character>
    <parenthetical>(continued)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Look, this thing with Phil isn't in stone. We can jerk him along another month. Why don't you use that month to give us your best shot? Put in the hours. Dazzle me.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Dazzle you - What am I a showgirl?</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(seriously)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Look, Dave, I'm having a little problem at home. I really need to spend a lot of extra time with my son right now.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>• DAVE Then I don't know what we can do. it I, GIL (pause) ,> I can take some work home with me y on the week-end. /^V /m> ( TB</scene_description>
    <character>37</character>
    <dialogue>STEVE</dialogue>
    <character>CONTINUED:</character>
    <dialogue>It's my belief that working at</dialogue>
    <scene_description>home doesn't work. Not with three</scene_description>
    <character>"-</character>
    <dialogue>kids.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>I have ways to get work done at home. I have some time there that's all my own.</dialogue>
    <character>38</character>
    <dialogue>Gil is seated on the TOILET with his PANTS DOWN. He has a FILE</dialogue>
    <character>INT.</character>
    <dialogue>ON his lap and he's making notes on a legal pad. The bathroom door BURSTS OPEN. Taylor enters with TWO of her FRIENDS.</dialogue>
    <character>TAYLOR</character>
    <dialogue>Dad?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil LOOKS UP.</scene_description>
    <character>TAYLOR</character>
    <dialogue>We're ready to go to the movies.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>That's fine. I'll just be a second.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They linger.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Could you wait outside, sweetie?</dialogue>
    <character>TAYLOR</character>
    <dialogue>Sure.</dialogue>
    <character>AMY</character>
    <dialogue>Hello, Mr. Blaylock.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Hello, Amy.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The girls exit. 39 INT. THEATRE - DAY i? Gil sits in the theatre surrounded by an ocean of CHILDREN. He's with Kevin, Taylor and Taylor's friends.</scene_description>
    <character>MOVIE CHARACTER (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>We must find the magic gumdrop. Otherwise, Fairyland will be destroyed.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>C\* ANOTHER MOVIE CHAR. Hey. Here comes Mr. Bo-Bo-Boots.</scene_description>
    <character>(CONTINUED></character>
    <dialogue>TB MR. BO-BO-BOOTS enters.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>ANGLE ON GIL</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(miserable)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Mr. Bo-Bo Boots.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Kevin is very BORED. Gil glances at him.</scene_description>
    <character>40 INT.</character>
    <dialogue>Kevin is playing a VIDEO GAME. Gil, eating POP CORN, is watching</dialogue>
    <character>LOBBY. DAY</character>
    <dialogue>over his shoulder giving it some body English. The game ends.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Well, I should go back in and watch the girls. You got enough quarters?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Kevin NODS. Gil starts away.</scene_description>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>Dad...</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah...</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>How come I'm seeing a psychiatrist?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil looks around to see if Kevin was overheard.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, yeah, we were going to have a big talk about that -</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>What's wrong with me?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Nothing. Nothing. You're great.</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>So then, how come -</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Look. You're the kind of boy - like I was - you have a lot of worries. That's all. And these people ~ the doctors, they're experts at helping people... deal with their worries. It's nothing to feel bad about. I think you're a great kid and I love you very</dialogue>
    <scene_description>/f^s much. Okay? /f@&\ TB Okay.</scene_description>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>GIL</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(to Kevin)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You know what? I think this is going to be a great summer for you. Just relax, have fun, play baseball -</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>Baseball's not so much fun. The Coach yells at me all the time.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Well he's... an asshole. A major asshole.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Kevin LAUGHS. He likes that.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>I'm going to take care of him. You're going to have fun at Little League. And, don't forget, you've got a birthday coming up. That's going to be great. Let's have a great party.</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>Can we have Cowboy Dan?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Who?</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>Cowboy Dan. The gunfighting balloon man. I saw him at Billy's party. He's cool. He makes animal balloons and he brings laser guns and we all play cowboy laser tag with him. Can we have him?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Absolutely, you got 'em. It's done. Now what do you say when a cute eight year old girl walks by?</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>Hubba hubba.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Kevin LAUGHS.</scene_description>
    <character>41 EXT. HELEN'S HOUSE - LATE AFTERNOON</character>
    <dialogue>Helen is standing OUT IN FRONT of her house looking HALF-WORRIED,</dialogue>
    <character>41</character>
    <dialogue>HALF-RELIEVED.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>f\* REVERSE ANGLE Julie getting OUT OF a POLICE CAR with her suitcase. P</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>Julie is in the process of ending a CRYING JAG. the GASPING and TWITCHING stage of recovery.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>She's u- \*o</dialogue>
    <character>\*\*</character>
    <dialogue>You all right?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>One BIG TWITCH.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN (CON'T)</character>
    <parenthetical>(softly)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Why would you be panhandling?</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>I needed the money for a place to stay.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>You have a place to stay.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>I'd have to tell you what happened.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>What did happen?</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>I just said I don't want to tell you.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Did you leave Tod?</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>Yes!... He promised me he was starting a house painting business. Then he said he changed his mind. He's gonna race dragsters with his brothers. He can't even drive a regular car. So his brothers were over and we had a fight, and he said "No bitch is gonna tell me what to do for a living."</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(cries)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>He told me he loved me.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, well, they say that... then they come.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(gently)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Honey, what did you expect from a kid like that. Huh?</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>Mom... back off. The last guy you dated stole our furniture.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Helen NODS. There's no answer for that.</scene_description>
    <character>JULIE (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>Men are -jum.</dialogue>
    <character>\[</character>
    <scene_description>CONTINUED:</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <parenthetical>(just being solicitous)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Yeah, I know, men are scum...</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(cheery)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Hi Garry.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>ANGLE ON GARRY Watching the two women from the doorway. We have no idea how long he's been there. He heads for the front door. He carries his ever-present paper bag.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Julie's back.</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Great.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He exits. There's a pause.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Julie, sadly)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Let's eat lots of ice cream.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They head for the kitchen. The front door bursts OPEN. Tod enters. He looks DESPERATE.</scene_description>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>Julie!</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(startled)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Tod!</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>I thought I'd find you here.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>what does that make you, Sherlock-fucking-Holmes? I live herel</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>You live with me.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>I wouldn't live with you if the world were flooded with piss and you lived in a tree. Excuse me, I'm going to the movies.</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>You're not leaving until you hear what I have to say.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>f^ JULIE I'm not, huh? TB She races OUT the door. Tod CHASES. •i J</scene_description>
    <character>43</character>
    <dialogue>Julie is RUNNING. Tod catches her before she's off the front</dialogue>
    <character>EXT. HELEN'S HOUSE - DUSK</character>
    <dialogue>lawn. He grabs her.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>Let g\_o of me.</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>No.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They STRUGGLE. They TUMBLE to the ground. They fight. Helen appears with a NEWSPAPER. She begins SMACKING Tod.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Let her go.</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <parenthetical>(almost pitiful)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Please, Miss Blaylock. I love her. Julie, you can't run out on me. You're my wife.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <parenthetical>(still hitting)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>If you don't let her go, I'm going to call...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She stops hitting.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN (CON'T)</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Julie)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You're his what?</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>His wife. We got married a few days ago.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Helen digests this for a moment, then begins WHACKING Julie with the paper.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Are you insane?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Garry, returning from garage, goes inside the house. Helen stops hitting Julie.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <parenthetical>(cheerfully)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Hi, Garry.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>TB</scene_description>
    <character>43</character>
    <dialogue>TOD</dialogue>
    <character>CONTINUED:</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Julie)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>i J</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Julie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. My brothers were raggin' on me and I couldn't back down. But last night I told them. They mean nothing. You mean everything.</scene_description>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, Tod.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Tod and Julie KISS He lifts her up, carries her into the house. A COUPLE walks up the sidewalk.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>It's their honeymoon.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>J0^\</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>It's darker. Helen is sitting OUT ON her LAWN, still STUNNED The SPRINKLER goes ON. It sprays water on her. She doesn't" react. The front door OPENS. Julie and Tod come out. Tod" has his arm around her and Julie has her suitcase. They stop on the front walk.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>Mom?... Are you okay?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Helen walks to the porch and sits on the steps.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>You're under age. I can get this annulled.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Tod)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Excuse me.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Tod exits to his truck.</scene_description>
    <character>JULIE (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>Whatever you do, I'm just going to go after him. I want to start my life.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Start your life? This is the best part of your life. This is the time that you still have all your choices.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>What's the point of having all my choices if I can't make the choice I want?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Pause.</scene_description>
    <character>� HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Are you are least going to go to college?</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>I don't think I can. I kind of pushed Tod into this house painting business and like he says, it's going to be rough for awhile. I really think I hsould get a job.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>ANGLE ON TOD, getting into his truck.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>What' are your expenses?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>i#^K JULIE An apartment. We need food, clothes, you know, - stuff.</scene_description>
    <character>~></character>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>(rattles it off, no</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>emotion)</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Live here. Eat my food, pay no rent, use my stuff, go to college. I need a drink. Helen STANDS UP and WEARILY exits toward the house. Julie thinks for a second. Her expression says "Might work.\*\*</scene_description>
    <character>45</character>
    <dialogue>46</dialogue>
    <character>OMIT SCENE</character>
    <dialogue>EXT. FRANK'S GARAGE - DAY</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Frank raises the door and he and Cool stare at the car.</scene_description>
    <character>COOL</character>
    <dialogue>i Wow! i</dialogue>
    <scene_description>I FRANK I (delighted) \ You like- it? \ COOL Yeah! It's great! i | FRANK I Yeah, it was junk'when I found | it. First time I got laid - well, that's a story for another time... WE HEAR BRAKES SQUEAL: yift^v</scene_description>
    <character>46</character>
    <dialogue>ANGLE ON THE STREET</dialogue>
    <character>CONTINUED:</character>
    <dialogue>A speeding car barely slows down at the curb. Larry is THROWN heavily FROM the CAR. He BOUNCES and the car SPEEDS OFF. Larry, when he SEES Frank, JUMPS UP, hiding the pain.</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Hi, Dad. Dinner ready?</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>What was that?!</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Hm? Oh. Some friends were dropping me off.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>Friends? Friends slow down. They even stop.</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Well, they were a little drunk. The big deal went through, Dad. We were celebrating.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah?</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Well, practically.</dialogue>
    <character>COOL</character>
    <dialogue>Dad?</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>What?</dialogue>
    <character>COOL</character>
    <dialogue>Grandma said after dinner you might take a walk with us.</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>A walk? What am I, Moses? A walk... Come on, inside. I need your help.</dialogue>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>>6 CONTINUED:</dialogue>
    <character>COOL</character>
    <parenthetical>(excited)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Yeah? For what?</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>My dancing shoes slid way under the bed. I can't reach 'em.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Larry and Cool leave Frank OUT ON the lawn. Frank watches them go. He's thinking about what he's just watched.</scene_description>
    <character>47 EXT.</character>
    <dialogue>Gil's car PULLS INTO a parking space. Kevin gets out in his</dialogue>
    <character>PARK - LITTLE LEAGUE FIELD - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>Little League uniform. Getting out of another older, cheaper, car, is a man named BOB. He wears a shirt and a cap which both say "Coach." The kids' on Kevin's team, are playing catch right near the parking area.</dialogue>
    <character>BOB</character>
    <parenthetical>(to boys)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You girls ready to win one today?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(quietly)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Bob, you wanna knock that shit off?</dialogue>
    <character>BOB</character>
    <dialogue>Away from here you may be a big shot in an office and I may be a janitor, but here, I'm the coach and you're the assistant, okay, honey?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Kiss my ass.</dialogue>
    <character>BOB</character>
    <dialogue>Bend over.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil grabs Bob by his shirt. FEAR is in Bob's EYES. The kids YELL.</scene_description>
    <character>KIDS</character>
    <dialogue>Hit himl Hit him, Gil. Gil's gonna hit Coach Bob.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The kids CHEER Gil on. Gil looks over at the kids and stops.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>No, we're not fighting. I'm just teaching Bob a secret play.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(sotto to Bob)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Listen, Cheesehead, what would</dialogue>
    <scene_description>/I"N it take for you to go home and not come back? (more) TB 4 7 CONTINUED:</scene_description>
    <character>GIL (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>Let me finish the season so that</dialogue>
    <scene_description>maybe some of these kids won't be permanently scarred.</scene_description>
    <character>BOB</character>
    <dialogue>Screw off. \*</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>How abuot if you and I step over there and settle this once and \* for all.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. PARKING LOT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Gil is writing a check, leaning on the hood of Bob's car. \* Bob is watching. \*</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Okay. I think this is more than \* generous. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil hands Bob the check. \*</scene_description>
    <character>GIL (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>Now haul your enlarged behind out \* of here. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Bob gets in his car.</scene_description>
    <character>BOB</character>
    <dialogue>So long, girls. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Bob drives away. \*</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(to kids)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I hated to do it, but he had it \* coming.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. FIELD - A FEW MINUTES LATER</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Gil is hitting grounders.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(yells)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Come on, Ben, get in front of the ball, it can't hurt you.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He hits one. r^ ( v.</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>49 CONTINUED:</dialogue>
    <character>GIL (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>That's it, get down, get down on</dialogue>
    <scene_description>it - (cringing) ... Aah!... Wayne, get Ben some ice. Ben? I'll get it Wayne. \*</scene_description>
    <character>50 EXT. FIELD - A FEW MINUTES LATER</character>
    <dialogue>The TEAM is gathered around Gil near the bench area.</dialogue>
    <character>50</character>
    <dialogue>/</dialogue>
    <scene_description>/ST^fjs, J0F\</scene_description>
    <character>50</character>
    <dialogue>GIL</dialogue>
    <character>CONTINUED:</character>
    <dialogue>What do you say, Ben? play?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Can you</scene_description>
    <character>°" ";</character>
    <dialogue>ANGLE ON BEN</dialogue>
    <dialogue>He's sitting on the bench holding ICE to his LIP.</dialogue>
    <character>BEN</character>
    <dialogue>My father's a lawyer.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>I know. Why don't you just sit out a few innings?</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(to team)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Okay, we need a second baseman, which one of you outfielders is ready to try second base?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>No response.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Kevin, what about you? How about taking second base?</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <parenthetical>(hesitates)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Okay.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The biggest boy, MATT, GROANS audibly.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Come on, Matt, none of that. Let's be a team. Let's get out there.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The kids begin to disperse. Kevin looks TENSE. Gil notices.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Kevin, come here a second.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Kevin and Gil are left alone.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Remember, Kevin, the word is "fun." I'm not like Bob. Just go out there and what you catch you catch and what you miss you miss. Okay?</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>Okay.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Kevin SMILES. He goes OUT ONTO the field. 5I:</scene_description>
    <character>51 EXT.</character>
    <dialogue>^</dialogue>
    <character>COLLEGE CAMPUS - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>A GRADUATION Ceremony is in progress.</dialogue>
    <character>(CONTINUED^</character>
    <dialogue>/\*\*v</dialogue>
    <character>51</character>
    <dialogue>DEAN</dialogue>
    <character>CONTINUED</character>
    <dialogue>And now it's my great pleasure</dialogue>
    <scene_description>to introduce our valedictorian, Kevin Blaylock. A handsome, happy YOUNG MAN goes to the PODIUM.</scene_description>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>Thank you. You know when I was nine years old, I had kind of a rough time. A lot of people thought I was pretty mixed up. But there was one person who got me through it. He did everything right. Thanks to him, today, I'm the happiest, most confident, most well-adjusted person in the world. Dad... I love you. You're the greatest.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The AUDIENCE APPLAUDS. ANGLE ON GIL In the audience. He looks slightly older. The applause grows LOUDER. Gil stands and HUMBLY WAVES aside the adulation.</scene_description>
    <character>52</character>
    <dialogue>Gil's team is in the field.</dialogue>
    <character>EXT.</character>
    <dialogue>GIL</dialogue>
    <scene_description>One more out boys. (yells to pitcher) How's your arm, Sean? Not too tired? SEAN is GRIM. He shakes his head, "no."</scene_description>
    <character>BEN</character>
    <parenthetical>(on the bench)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>My lip. still hurts.</dialogue>
    <character>LOU</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, Gil, our boys finally gonna win one game.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>That's it, Lou, be supportive.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The OTHER TEAM gets a hit.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Get it back in! Way to hustle1</dialogue>
    <scene_description>f^ OPPOSING COACH Come on, bases loaded, only one run down. You can do it, Adam. . /ff^\ TB ADAM steps in to hit.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(to himself)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Please, God, let them win one game.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Sean PITCHES. Adam SWINGS and hits a high POP-UP to second base. All the RUNNERS are running. The ball is hit to Kevin. He STAGGERS under it. The ball comes down in Kevin's glove... and he DROPS it. Runners score, the other team celebrates WILDLY. Kevin's TEAMMATES throw their GLOVES down hard on the ground. Gil is STUNNED.</scene_description>
    <character>MATT (1ST BASEMAN)</character>
    <dialogue>You stink, Blaylock.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Kevin looks very HURT. He looks lost. He looks at Gil. Gil walks OUT TO where Kevin is standing. He starts to put his arm around him.</scene_description>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>Why'd you make ae play second base?</dialogue>
    <character>53 EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>It's the same campus as before.</dialogue>
    <character>52</character>
    <dialogue>People are running in PANIC across the lawn. GUNSHOTS are heard. Two STUDENTS take shelter behind a TREE. WE HEAR faint, angry, SCREAMING in the background.</dialogue>
    <character>STUDENT #1</character>
    <dialogue>Someone's climbed on the roof of \* the Bell Tower with a rifle. \*</dialogue>
    <character>STUDENT #2</character>
    <dialogue>It's Kevin Blaylock. His father totally screwed him up.</dialogue>
    <character>STUDENT #1</character>
    <dialogue>What's he yelling?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They listen.</scene_description>
    <character>KEVIN (O.C.)</character>
    <parenthetical>(in the distance)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You made me play second base,</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(gunshot)</parenthetical>
    <character>ANGLE ON GIL</character>
    <dialogue>He's OLDER. He's speaking through a BULLHORN.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Kevin, I'm sorry. I did the best</dialogue>
    <scene_description>(\*\*\*• I could. TB 53 CONTINUED: GUNSHOT. The bullhorn is SHOT OUT OF Gil's hand.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL (CON'T)</character>
    <parenthetical>(shouts up)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Nice shot, son.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(to a nearby policeman)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>It's important to be supportive.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>OMIT SCENE TB</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. SUSAN'S BEDROOM - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Nathan enters from the bathroom. He's ANGRY. He's holding a cup of WATER in one hand and a DIAPHRAGM in the other. He's pouring the water into the diaphragm. The water is DRIPPING through a HOLE in the diaphragm. Susan looks. She's STARTLED.</scene_description>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>Well?!</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>Why are you pouring water through my diaphragm?</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>I always do.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>A hobby?</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>To check. To make sure it's all right. You didn't know I did that, did you?</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>No.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>Obviously not or you wouldn't have tried this.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>Are you accusing me of making that hole?</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>NO, a woodpecker. This could have jeopardised all our plans. Remember what we read? Studies found that the vast majority of truly exceptional people are either only children or first-born, with at least a five-year separation from the second sib. We agreed that -</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>./%R\</stage_direction>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>You agreed. And they're not sibs.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>they're babiesi And I want to have another one!</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>And this is how you go about it? Vandalizing a contraceptive device?</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>Because.you won't discuss it with me.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>I did discuss it with you. Years ago.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>Well, I think we were wrong.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>Well, I think we were right and I'm not discussing it again.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He exits.</scene_description>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <parenthetical>(yells)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I'm warning you, Nathan. I'll go to a sperm bank! We'll wind up with a child like your brother Mel!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>56 INT. HELEN'S BEDROOM - MORNING 5f She's finishing getting dressed. She's in a hurry. She comes OUT IN THE hallway. She goes to a door. It has a combination lock on it that isn't locked.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Garry, if you want me to drive you, you've got to be out in five minutes. I'll be late for work.</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY (O.C.)</character>
    <parenthetical>(loud and annoyed)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Okay!</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <parenthetical>(yells)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Tod, do you want me to make you breakfast?</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>^. Thanks, Helen, Julie's gonna do it.</dialogue>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>(mutters to herself)</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>I'll get the fire extinguisher.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Helen hurries down the hall. She passes the bathroom. The doo>- is AJAR.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Okay, I'll see you -</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She stops dead in her tracks. She almost faints.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Sweet Jesus!</dialogue>
    <character>57 INT. HELEN'S BATHROOM - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>Julie is seated in front of the sink. Tod is using ELECTRIC</dialogue>
    <character>5-</character>
    <dialogue>CLIPPERS to SHAVE her HEAD. Tod's head is already shaved.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>What are you doing?! Has war been declared?</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>I knew you'd make a thing out of this.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Tod)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Excuse us. Shave something else.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Helen grabs Julie and pulls her OUT INTO the hallway.</scene_description>
    <character>56 INT.</character>
    <dialogue>HELEN</dialogue>
    <character>LIVING ROOM - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>Your hair. Your beautiful hair, couldn't we have discussed this?</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>I'm a married woman.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>You're a married bald woman.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>It's a symbol of our love. Our commitment. Its intensity. The fact that nobody else matters.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Julie... I spoke to an attorney. You can have an annulment like that. You can stay with Tod, shave</dialogue>
    <scene_description>don't be married. /\*&N</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>(sadly)</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>You're such a pathetic person.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Hey! I have hair!</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>Do you think I'm going to make the same mistake you did?</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>What?</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>Give up my marriage?</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>I didn't give up.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>Just because you couldn't make it work, you want to think that no one can. My life can still work. If no one tries to ruin it. We never should've moved in here.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Tod enters.</scene_description>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>I better get going.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>I'll walk you.</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <parenthetical>(puts a cap on)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Gee, my painter's cap's too big now.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Tod and Julie exit. Helen is very UNHAPPY. Garry comes DOWNSTAIRS. Even though Garry speaks more in this scene, he's still very SOMBER.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>You ready? You want anything to eat?</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>How long are they gonna be living here?</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Not much longer, I think.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>yflJS^V TB</scene_description>
    <character>53</character>
    <dialogue>GARRY</dialogue>
    <character>CONTINUED:</character>
    <dialogue>Well, I was just thinking... it's pretty crowded here.</dialogue>
    <character>-</character>
    <dialogue>HELEN</dialogue>
    <scene_description>It's not so crowded. There's a lot more room since they shaved their heads.</scene_description>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Well I was just thinking. Maybe I could live with Dad for awhile.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Helen is SHOCKED.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>What?</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>I've been here a long time. Maybe I should live with Dad for awhile.</dialogue>
    <character>.</character>
    <dialogue>HELEN</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(very hurt)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You want to live with your father?</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Kind of.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She doesn't know what to say. This really hurts.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Garry... have you spoken to your father about this?</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Not yet. I thought I'd call him up.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Honey... you don't know your father like I do -</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>I don't know him at all. What's his number?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She HESITATES. He LIFTS the receiver and waits.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Uh...he'd be at work now. 555-7490.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He DIALS. She watches him with enormous anxiety. She's not sure what she's hoping will happen.</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>Is Dr. Lampkin there?... it's his</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>son.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(he waits, then)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>No, Dad, it's not Joey, it's Garry, your other son... Well, I wanted to ask you something... It'll just take a second... Would it be okay if I stayed with you for awhile?... A few months...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Garry listens for a long time. He looks UNHAPPY. Helen begins y to CRY.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <parenthetical>("o herself)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Oh, Ed, you prick.</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>... uh-huh... Okay.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He HANGS UP.</scene_description>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>He didn't think it was such a good idee.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Helen goes to EMBRACE him. He BACKS AWAY.</scene_description>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>I gotta go.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He RUNS OUT. She stands there, FROZEN. Then she gets her purse and her coat and EXITS.</scene_description>
    <character>59 EXT. BLAYLOCKS HOME - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>OPEN ON a SHOT of colored balloons tied to the mailbox.</dialogue>
    <character>59</character>
    <dialogue>60 EXT. STREET - DAY t</dialogue>
    <scene_description>A SEEDY, TIRED NAM in cowboy garb, is leading a fairly large HORSE around the street, with a child on it's back.</scene_description>
    <character>6I</character>
    <dialogue>61 EXT. BACK YARD - DAY</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The yard is CROWDED and NOISY. There are KIDS, PARENTS, FOOD, BALLOONS, There's a Western motif - bales of hay, a big wagon-wheel etc. Gil is cooking hot dogs at a barbeque. Kevin and about ten other BOYS race up to Gil.</scene_description>
    <character>MILES</character>
    <dialogue>Gil?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Yes, Miles?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>/?Pv (CONTINUED'</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>When's Cowboy Dan the Gunfighting</dialogue>
    <character>MILES</character>
    <dialogue>Balloon Man gonna be here?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(surprised)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Isn't that him?</dialogue>
    <character>BOYS</character>
    <parenthetical>(loudly, in unison)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>No!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>' •i•</scene_description>
    <character>EDDIE #</character>
    <dialogue>That's the schmuck who brought the horse.</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <parenthetical>(worried)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I don't think he's coming,</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(tense face)</parenthetical>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Of course he's coning. The man's a professional. You think he wants to put a blot on the balloon - bending profession? Cone on, you guys have fun, hot dogs are going \* to be ready in a few minutes. \*</dialogue>
    <character>EDDIE</character>
    <dialogue>Let's go watch the horse shit.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Ah, the simple pleasures. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The boys run off.</scene_description>
    <character>B62</character>
    <dialogue>ANGLE ON JUSTIN</dialogue>
    <character>EXT. BLAYLOCK FRONTYARD - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>He's on the front lawn wearing a SHOWER CAP. His arms are spread wide like a plans, and he's SPINNING RAPIDLY in DIZZYING CIRCLES. ANGLE ON SUSAN, NATHAN AND PATTY ARRIVING \* Patty seeami left out and BEWILDERED.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN \*</character>
    <dialogue>Patty, why don't you play with Justin?</dialogue>
    <character>PATTY</character>
    <dialogue>I don't understand what he's doing.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>ANGLE ON JUSTIN.:</scene_description>
    <character>/</character>
    <dialogue>Still SPINNING/'.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>^ff^K -J^f^S</scene_description>
    <character>B62</character>
    <dialogue>SUSAN</dialogue>
    <character>ANGLE ON SUSAN, NATHAN AND PATTY</character>
    <dialogue>He's spinning.</dialogue>
    <character>PATTY</character>
    <dialogue>What for?</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>No reason. For fun.</dialogue>
    <character>ANCLE ON JUSTIN</character>
    <dialogue>He STAGGERS, then COLLAPSES to the ground. ANGLE ON SUSAN, NATHAN AND PATTY.</dialogue>
    <character>PATTY</character>
    <dialogue>Doesn't look like fun.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>It isn't.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Nathan)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You tried it?</dialogue>
    <character>A62</character>
    <dialogue>ANGLE ON GIL t FRANK</dialogue>
    <character>EXT. BLAYLOCK BACKYARD - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>Gil and Frank are in MID-ARGUMENT over the barbecue.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>You have to keep turning them. And a lower flame. That's why you're getting too sueh smoke. You don't know how to barbegue. ALT: (Where'd you learr</dialogue>
    <scene_description>... . to barbeque?) Gil is making Kevin's TENSE FACE. EXT. YARD - DAY Two of Kevin's friends are WRESTLING while the rest of the boys watch and CHEER</scene_description>
    <character>62 INT.</character>
    <dialogue>Karen and Helen are talking while Karen is working on cake.</dialogue>
    <character>KITCHEN-DAY</character>
    <dialogue>HELEN</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(mater-of-fact)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>They turned on me. I raised them, I nurtured them, I clutched them to my bosom and - they turned on me. Garry wants to live with Ed and Julie is writing a school composition about her husband.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Involuntarily, Karen has a sudden burst of laughter which she controls instantly. TB I'm sorry.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>HELEN</dialogue>
    <scene_description>It's all right.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Come on, when you were a teen-ager didn't you have times you couldn't stand your parents?</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>You've met them, was I wrong? That's cute, a saddle.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>No, it's a hat, a cowboy hat. ... Oh, God.</dialogue>
    <character>63</character>
    <dialogue>EXT. SIDE YARD - DAY</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Grandma and Marilyn are in lawn chairs.</scene_description>
    <character>GRANDMA</character>
    <dialogue>I want to move over to Helen's house.</dialogue>
    <character>MARILYN</character>
    <dialogue>Helen? Why Helen? She's got Julie there and that husband, and Garry and his bag, it's a mob scene over there.</dialogue>
    <character>GRANDMA</character>
    <dialogue>I don't care. I like Helen. She eats meat and cake. She watches TV. She won't make me exercise. Work it out.</dialogue>
    <character>MARILYN</character>
    <dialogue>Oh. I'm supposed to insult Susan by telling her you don't like it there and I'm also supposed to impose on Helen. .</dialogue>
    <character>GRANDMA</character>
    <dialogue>It's your husband who kicked me out, so I had no place to go.</dialogue>
    <character>MARILYN</character>
    <dialogue>He didn't kick you out.</dialogue>
    <character>GRANDMA</character>
    <dialogue>He wasn't sorry to see me go.</dialogue>
    <character>MARILYN</character>
    <dialogue>Oh for God sakes.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(loud whisper)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Let me ask you something. When</dialogue>
    <scene_description>/f^V dad died, who was it that took care of you and your three daughters? Hm? It was Frank. i</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>GRANDMA</dialogue>
    <character>63</character>
    <dialogue>Then how come he never has a nice word for me?</dialogue>
    <character>MARILYN</character>
    <dialogue>Why should you be special?</dialogue>
    <character>A64</character>
    <dialogue>EXT. BACK YARD - DAY</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Frank watches the boys wrestle.</scene_description>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>You call that wrestling?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>64 INT. KITCHEN - DAY si Karen and Helen carry food from the kitchen to the yard. WE FOLLOW them as we go.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Well, you know, Justin's going to go full time next year, so now everybody asks me if I'm going to go back to work. You know, like</dialogue>
    <scene_description>! I'm supposed to and I'm thinking about it. .I mean, I used to work. , It was okay. But I'm better at | this. I mean, I think I'm sort ! of good at it. But then people i make me feel embarrassed like I 1 don't have goals or something. You know? Like I'm sitting around here all day eating bon-bons or something. So I don't know.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>What does Gil say?</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>He says I should do whatever I want. I could've killed him for that.</dialogue>
    <character>65 EXT. BACK YARD - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>They're OUTSIDE. They pass Nathan and Susan, who are ARGUING.</dialogue>
    <character>65</character>
    <dialogue>WE STAY ON Nathan and Susan and let Karen and Helen EXIT.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>What are you so upset about?</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>Nathan,she's weird. She's a weird child. I think a few days a week of pre-school could be very helpful.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>TB 65 CONTINUED:</scene_description>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>This is not the right age for Patty</dialogue>
    <character>'</character>
    <dialogue>o</dialogue>
    <scene_description>to be socially activated.</scene_description>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>She's not a bomb. She's a little kid who has no ability to relate to other little kids.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>You want her to relate to him?</dialogue>
    <character>ANGLE ON JUSTIN</character>
    <dialogue>Justin's HEAD is STUCK between the plastic TUBES of a lawn CHAIR. He STRUGGLES desperately to extricate himself. Gil steps in and begins to help. ANGLE ON NATHAN AND SUSAN Susan SIGHS in FRUSTRATION.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>I think your blood sugar is down. I put our vegetables in the refrigerator. Would you like me to get them?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Karen and Helen enter with more food, and place it on the table. Before they can leave, they become INTRIGUED by the argument.</scene_description>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>I don't want; any vegetables.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>well, what do you want?</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>This.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Susan lowers hsr face into a bowl of H n M's. She comes up CHEWING DEFIANTLY. Nathan is DISGUSTED. Karen and Helen stare in SURFMSB.</scene_description>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, for God Bakes.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She SPITS one at him. It BOUNCES OFF his OFREHEAD.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>A66 EXT. BLAYLOCK BACKYARD - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Gil fishes lawn furniture out of the lake with a long pole.</scene_description>
    <character>KIDS</character>
    <dialogue>Where's Cowboy Dan?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>He's coming!</dialogue>
    <character>66 INT.</character>
    <dialogue>Karen and Susan are alone.</dialogue>
    <character>KITCHEN - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>Karen's still working.</dialogue>
    <character>ANGRY.</character>
    <dialogue>SUSAN</dialogue>
    <scene_description>See, when I met him I was a little wild, I was a little out of control, he kind of... took me in hand. I liked that. He's very commanding. He got me into teaching, he got my shit together... Boy, he really turned me on.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Really?... r mean of course, really.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Karen eats a COOKIE.</scene_description>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <parenthetical>(lamenting)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Nathan and I used to be hot. I know he doesn't look it, but I mean we were like rabbits... I used to give him blowjobs on the highway.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Karen SPITS OUT her cookie.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>What?</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah. You know he was always trying to get a research grant.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>And you thought that would help?</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>No, but I mean he kept getting turned down, and he'd get real, real tense. So if I saw him, you know, really tense, I'd just lean over while he was driving and...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Nathan enters. He feels AWKWARD.</scene_description>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>Hi...</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>Hi...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>f\* (CONTINUED TB 66 CONTINUED:</scene_description>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>I just spoke to your mother. Your Grandma wants to go stay with Helen for awhile. Could you take her over there tomorrow?</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>Sure.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>There's an AWKWARD SILENCE. Karen feels the tension. Justin rides by on a TRICYCLE with a BUCKET COVERING his HEAD and face. He lowers his head and butts the wall, knocking himself off the bike. He jumps up, unhurt, and runs off.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>He likes to butt things with his head.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>How proud you must be.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. FRONT DOOR AREA - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Gil OPENS the door REVEALING an attractive, but slightly cheap-looking WOMAN. The woman is wearing a raincoat, which is unfastened.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Yes?</dialogue>
    <character>AUDREY</character>
    <dialogue>Sorry I'm late.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She steps in. She PULLS OFF her coat REVEALING a sexy costume.</scene_description>
    <character>AUDREY</character>
    <dialogue>Where should I do it?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(stunned)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Who are you and what are you going to do?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Karen joins Gil. She looks at Audrey.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Gil, who's this, honey?</dialogue>
    <character>AUDREY</character>
    <dialogue>I'm from Party Time Entertainment. I'm the stripper. What's the birthday boy's name. 'Cause I paint it across my breasts.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. KITCHEN - MINUTES LATER - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Audrey with her coat back on, is HANGING UP the PHONE. Gil and Karen are there.</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>Okay, it was a mix-up. I got</dialogue>
    <character>AUDREY</character>
    <dialogue>Cowboy Dan's card he got mine. I'm sorry. 'Bye.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Wait. Where's Cowboy Dan? Is he coming?</dialogue>
    <character>AUDREY</character>
    <parenthetical>(shakes "no")</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>He showed up at the lodge hall and they were expecting me and they beat him severely.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Kevin enters.</scene_description>
    <character>AUDREY</character>
    <dialogue>So Cowboy Dan ain't coming. 'Bye.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She goes,</scene_description>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <parenthetical>(upset)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Cowboy Dan's not coming?!</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Come on, Kevin, hold it together.</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>I knew it. I told you. All the kids are gonna hate me. It's gonna be like Little League.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Cowboy Dan is coming.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Gil...</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>He's coming. Cowboy Dan is coming.</dialogue>
    <character>69 EXT. SIDE YARD - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>The kids are waiting. Gil enters, dressed in a makeshift outfit.</dialogue>
    <character>6</character>
    <dialogue>Jeans, boots, a suit vest, flannel shirt, Justin's cowboy hat and guns, and a mask.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(gruff, Western)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Howdy, podners.</dialogue>
    <character>EDDIE</character>
    <dialogue>You're Kevin's father. Where's Cowboy Dan?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>J$!^\ (CONTINUEDi C\*\* TB GIL I shot him with a gun. This big. Blew his head off. There was blood everywhere. They tried to bury him but they couldn't find him.</scene_description>
    <character>"</character>
    <dialogue>"</dialogue>
    <character>\*</character>
    <dialogue>\*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>¥UCK! \*:</scene_description>
    <character>ANGLE OF NATHAN HATING THIS</character>
    <dialogue>GIL</dialogue>
    <scene_description>After I blow somebody's head off, I \* always like to... make balloon animals. \* He puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out hundreds of \* balloons. He PICKS UP a BALLOON. He stretches it pro- \* fessionally, then blows in, then out, then in, then out \* and then blows a regular straight balloon \*</scene_description>
    <character>GIL (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>A snake. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The APPLAUD. Gil lets the air slowly and NOISILY OUT OF \* the balloon. \*</scene_description>
    <character>GIL (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>A snake that ate too many beans. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The boys LAUGH. ANGLE ON KAREN She's looking at Gil with ADMIRATION. ANGLE ON FRANK He's incredulous. How can a grown man behave like this? ANGLE ON THE KIDS</scene_description>
    <character>MILES</character>
    <dialogue>You Dad's great.</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil rapidly bends another balloon as if he knows what he's doing. He proudly REVEALS a MESS.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Your lower intestines.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>More APPLAUSE. i • f\*\*</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>2)</dialogue>
    <character>1)</character>
    <dialogue>3)</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil on roof with two water machine guns. Kids, YET \* 'Where is he?" Gil YELLS "Yo!" Gil does slow roll/fall off roof. Gil wrestling with large stuffed animal.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>... I won J</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He drops kicks the toy.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Three points! Even though it was cute, it was rabid.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>6) Kids chase Gil with squirt guns. He leaves and comes back with a larger squirt gun.</scene_description>
    <character>71</character>
    <dialogue>Everyone is assembled OUT ON the LAWN. WE HEAR HOOFBEATS.</dialogue>
    <character>EXT. STREET - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>1 Suddenly, the kids SCREAM with DELIGHT. Down the street appears</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil riding the horse. Gil rides almost decently. He's carrying 1 the BIRTHDAY CAKE. He RIDES UP to the house and Karen takes " the cake. I KAREN ' (sotto) Will you get off the horse before you hurt yourself?  GIL \ (sotto, excited) I gotta make a big exit. (loud, looks at Karen) Mmmm... Cowboy Dan's woman. Well, buckaroos. Cowboy Dan's gotta be moseying that-a-way. Keep your powder and your pants dry. Well, see you in Abilene. Yip-pi-io-ki (falsetto) yayyyyy! Yee-ha! He digs his heels into the horse and it GALLOPS OFF as the kids CHEER WILDLY. WE WATCH Gil on the horse shrink in the distance. Way down the block, the horse LEAPS a HEDGE. WE HEAR Gil SCREAM faintly as he's thrown off the horse. He disappears behind the hedge.</scene_description>
    <character>72</character>
    <dialogue>Gil is finishing a book.</dialogue>
    <character>INT. TAYLOR'S ROOM - NIGHT</character>
    <dialogue>GIL (reading)</dialogue>
    <scene_description>"And it should be, it should be, it should be like that. 'Cause he meant what he said. And he said what he</scene_description>
    <character>TAYLOR</character>
    <dialogue>I like it 'cause it comes out fair.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, I like stories that come out fair. How many girls does Daddy have?</dialogue>
    <character>TAYLOR</character>
    <dialogue>One.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, but one like this is all you need.</dialogue>
    <character>TAYLOR</character>
    <dialogue>Good-night, Daddy.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They KISS.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Good-night, sweetie.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He exits and goes into the boys room.</scene_description>
    <character>73 INT. JUSTIN & KEVIN'S BEDROOM - NIGHT</character>
    <dialogue>Justin is ASLEEP with his butt sticking UP in the air. Gil</dialogue>
    <character>73</character>
    <dialogue>KISSES his butt then looks at Kevin, who's AWAKE.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL (CONTD)</character>
    <dialogue>Good-night, kiddo. Did you have a happy birthday?</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <parenthetical>(smiles)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Yean. You wars funny.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(kiss)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>When I grow up, can I work where you work?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(surprised)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Why?</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>That way, after I'B grown up, we can still see each other every day.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>r~" Gil is very touched by this. He gives Kevin a kiss.</scene_description>
    <character>(CONTINUED!</character>
    <dialogue>/p\*></dialogue>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>I love you.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>74 INT.</dialogue>
    <dialogue>Karen is lying in bed with HEADPHONES ON. She's ROCKING. It's</dialogue>
    <character>MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT</character>
    <dialogue>so loud we can hear it. Her legs are moving, her arms are over her head, she's really out there. Gil comes in and SMILES. She notices him and takes off the headphones. He looks HAPPY.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>It's great.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>What is?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Everything.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Are you all right?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(softly)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Yeah. You know what I feel like? Like I'm the captain of a ship. Well, co-captain with you. And we have this cargo - this precious cargo - and we're trying to sail it in to a safe harbor - a safe port. You know? And, like sometimes, like this trouble Kevin's having, you have these storms. Rain, wind,... and I'm needed up on the bridge. And I grab that big wheel - I'm in my yellow slicker - with the big hat with the brim turned up - and I hold her steady... And I'm protecting our cargo... It's great.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She looks at him with love.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>This is why I married you.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah?...</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(grabs her breasts)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>And this is why I married you.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They LAUGH.</scene_description>
    <character>75 INT.</character>
    <dialogue>A FLASHLIGHT SHINES on an office door, on which we read "Edward</dialogue>
    <character>CORRIDOR - NIGHT</character>
    <dialogue>^ Lampkin D.D.S. A Medical Corporation." A GLOVED HAND uses a</dialogue>
    <scene_description>•: CREDIT CARD TO UNLOCK THE DOOR. TB</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>"6 INT. DENTIST'S WAITING AREA & EXAMINTION ROOM - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>FOLLOWING the flashlight BEAM we go through the waiting area,</scene_description>
    <character>"6</character>
    <dialogue>then into the dentist's examination room. For a moment, nothing happens. Then all of a sudden, FEROCIOUS VANDALISM BREAKS OUT. Everything soft is SLASHED with a KNIFE, everything hard is HAMMERED VICIOUSLY, everything small is SMASHED and BROKEN. The room is left horribly destroyed. A THROWN HAMMER then smashes a FRAMED PHOTOGRAPH up on the top of the instrument cabinet. It's a picture of a fortyish man, his younger wife and a very cute four-year-old tow-headed boy. WE then FOLLOW the flashlight beam back out again.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>OMIT SCENE 77</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HELEN'S HOUSE - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>The front door OPENS and Helen enters.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <parenthetical>(calls)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Garry...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>There's no answer.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HALLWAY - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>She goes DOWN the HALL. She STOPS at Garry's door. There's a combination LOCK on it. Helen stares at it a moment, deciding.</scene_description>
    <character>INT.</character>
    <dialogue>Helen has a prying TOOL and she BREAKS the LOCK.</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY'S DOOR - DAY</character>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GARRY'S ROOM - DAY 3U</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>It's a typical mess. Helen glances around looking for something. INT. GARRY'S ROOM - DAY RAPID CUTS of Helen going though everything - drawers, closets, piles of junk, etc. INT. GARRY'S ROOM - DAY Helen pulls some books off a bookshelf and finds Garry's bag. She HESITATES then reaches in and PULLS OUT three half-inch cassettes. She takes them. They are movie cassettes - the kind you rent. The boxes read "Crocodile Dundee, n "Ghostbusters," and "Top Gun." She SHRUGS. This doesn't tell her anything. She goes to put one back, and one of the cassettes SLIDES OUT OF the box and onto the floor. She PICKS it UP. On the tape itself, a label reads, "Sexland U.S.A." Helen stares at it a moment, CONFUSED. (C</scene_description>
    <character>30</character>
    <dialogue>Then she takes out the other two cassettes. They are labeled</dialogue>
    <character>CONTINUED:</character>
    <dialogue>"Wet, Wild, and Ready" and "Ramrod Jones." She grabs one and</dialogue>
    <character>'</character>
    <dialogue>pushes it into the V.C.R. on top of Garry's TV. PORNOGRAPHY APPEARS. ANGLE ON HELEN WATCHING She's DISGUSTED, but transfixed. Susan and Grandma appear in the DOORWAY. Susan is carrying Grandma's suitcase.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>The door was unlocked, so - oh my God.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Helen SPINS around, STARTLE.</scene_description>
    <character>GRANDMA</character>
    <dialogue>What channel is this?</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>No, it's a tape. I ~</dialogue>
    <character>GRANDMA</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Susan)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>She needs a man... Now.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>This isn't mine. I don't watch this -</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY (O.C.)</character>
    <dialogue>Who broke my lock?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Garry enters and SEES the movie on the TV. He PANICS.</scene_description>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>What's everybody doing in here?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He turns OFF the TV.</scene_description>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Helen)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Did you break my lock?</dialogue>
    <character>GRANDMA</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, it was Garry's tape.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <parenthetical>(flustered)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Susan, take Grandma into my room, please. Okay?</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>Sure. Come on, Grandma.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>( \*" \*" One of those men reminded me of your Grandpa, God bless him. TB They leave.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Garry, listen to me -</dialogue>
    <scene_description>-C GARRY How could you break my lock?</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>I came in here because I was afraid you were on drugs.</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Why would you think that?</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Because of what you did to your father's office.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Garry is STUNNED.</scene_description>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>What do you mean?</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>He found your hammer. Those are your initials burned in the handle.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She takes it OUT OF her PURSE.</scene_description>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Someone must have taken it.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <parenthetical>(gently)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Garry... don't you think that there have been times I've wanted to do the same thing, myself? But, honey, you could've gotten in serious trouble. If it wasn't for the insurance, he'd have told the police. All these feelings -- you're right to have all those feelings, he is a lousy father. But, you've got to say to hell with him!</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(thinks about it)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>That's good advice for both of us.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He doesn't answer. He bites his LIP. He glances guiltily at his tapes. She SEES.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>I don't know what to say about this</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(indicates tapes)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Garry doesn't speak. He just looks UNCOMFORTABLE.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>/0\*\*i</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>(hesitant)</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>I assume you're watching these... things because you're curious about... sex... or filmmaking...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Garry just SHRUGS.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>I've seen one or two of these in my life and I don't think they're the place to seek knowledge.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(hesitant)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Do you... have any questions? Is there anything... you'd like to ask?</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Who?</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Me.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He SHAKES his HEAD.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Uncle Gil?</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <parenthetical>(SHRUGS)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>He's busy with his own kids.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Tod enters. He's in a CHEERFUL mood. He's completely unaware of what's going on here. He's EATING big chocolate donuts from a box.</scene_description>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>Hi. Where's my wife?</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>She's at school. She had special cheerleader practice.</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>Bitchin' - so, what's up?</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <parenthetical>(a new, strange thought strikes her)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Garry... would you like to speak to Tod?</dialogue>
    <character>81 INT.</character>
    <dialogue>Helen is frying chicken on the stove.</dialogue>
    <character>KITCHEN - LATER - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>Tod's there, finishing the</dialogue>
    <scene_description>last donut. \[</scene_description>
    <character>(CONTINUED</character>
    <dialogue>/$p!\</dialogue>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>Can I speak frankly?</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>No-holds-barred?</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Please.</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>That is one fucked-up little dude. ALT: That is one</dialogue>
    <scene_description>messed up littl Helen RUBS her FACE. dude.</scene_description>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>You're sure we can talk straight?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She NODS.</scene_description>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>A few months ago, Garry got his first boner. You know what that is?</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Yes. If memory serves.</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>Great. Anyway, since then, he's been, uh... slapping the salami. No offense. Apparently, he's been going for a world record. Chicken's burning.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Oh!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She turns off the fire.</scene_description>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>Damn, that looked good, too. Crisp, juicy.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Garry'</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>Oh! Anyway, he was afraid there was something wrong with him. You know, that he was a pervert or something. I told him that's what little dudes do. We've all done it. That nade his happy.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Carry was happy?</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>He even smiled, I never knew he had teeth.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>TB</scene_description>
    <character>31</character>
    <dialogue>CONTINUED</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>I guess a boy Garry's age really needs a man around.</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, well, depends on the man. I had a man around. He used to wake me up in the morning by flicking lit cigarettes at my head. "Hey, asshole, get up and make me breakfast." You know, Miss Blaylock, you need a license to buy a dog or drive a car - hell, you need a license to catch a fish</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(more to himself than to her)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father...</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(he's angry, then snaps out of it)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Well I'm gonna go pick up Julie. They're hasslin' her about her hair. She does look stupid. I don't know what we were thinking about.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He starts to go.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Tod...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He stops.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>... Thank you.</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, we're family.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He exits.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <parenthetical>(to herself)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Sixteen, she picked a better guy than Z did.</dialogue>
    <character>A82 EXT. FRANK'8 HOUSE - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>Frank is in his work overalls. He crosses to the garage. He</dialogue>
    <character>A8</character>
    <dialogue>rolls up the door. The car is gone. Frank stares, in SHOCK.</dialogue>
    <character>82 INT. PIZZA RESTAURANT -NIGHT</character>
    <dialogue>This is a kids'-type pizza restaurant, like Chuck E. Cheese.</dialogue>
    <character>82</character>
    <dialogue>Gil, Karen, their kids, Gil's parents and Cool are all seated at</dialogue>
    <scene_description>jms a table. In the background, KIDS are playing skee-ball and other ' noisy games. /"( TB</scene_description>
    <character>82</character>
    <dialogue>34.</dialogue>
    <character>CONTINUED:</character>
    <dialogue>A group of large furry, mechanical, animals are loudly singing</dialogue>
    <scene_description>"Oh Susannah." Frank looks UPSET. Gil is carrying the kids towards the table. The kids urge him to change his mind.</scene_description>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>We need somemore quarters. "</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Oh you want... I feel a sneeze coming on.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He sneezes quarters and passes them around.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Here you go, here you go, here you go... Hey, you're not my kid. "</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Kevin takes the change and he and Taylor and Cool, run off. Justin is CRAWLING ALL over everything. A MAN dressed as a pirate, brings the check, while a BUSBOY clears the table.</scene_description>
    <character>PIRATE</character>
    <parenthetical>(pirately voice)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Arrgh... Did you enjoy your, pizza, maties? Arrgh.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>My compliments to the microwave. •</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>It was like red cardboard. I'm getting cigarettes.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>You quit smoking twelve years ago.</dialogue>
    <character>.;. FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>~l (belligerent)</dialogue>
    <scene_description>I'm starting again today. Arrgh. He leaves. Marilyn goes after him. She arrives at the cigarette machine just after Frank has gotten his cigarettes. He starts to OPEN the pack when Marilyn CALMLY takes them away from him and throws them in the garbage. Frank doesn't respond. TB 82 CONTINUED:</scene_description>
    <character>MARILYN</character>
    <dialogue>I made up my mind a long time ago not to let Larry make me ill. And I won't let him make you ill either.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>What are you talking about. Larry is \* a... \*</dialogue>
    <character>MARILYN</character>
    <dialogue>If you won't straighten him out, I will. Now come sit down.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She goes back to the table. He stays. Then DEFIANTLY he buys more cigarettes, looking at her the whole time.</scene_description>
    <character>ANGLE ON THE TABLE</character>
    <dialogue>The kids return. Kevin looks UPSET.</dialogue>
    <character>TAYLOR</character>
    <dialogue>Kevin wants to go.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>, (^ I</scene_description>
    <character>32</character>
    <dialogue>GIL</dialogue>
    <character>CONTINUED:</character>
    <dialogue>Done already? How'd you use all</dialogue>
    <scene_description>those quarters so fast? Frank returns.</scene_description>
    <character>TAYLOR</character>
    <dialogue>Another kid took Kevin's money.</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>Shut up.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>What kid?</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <parenthetical>(embarrassed)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Never mind, never mind. Can we just go?</dialogue>
    <character>TAYLOR</character>
    <dialogue>It was that kid.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She POINTS. They all look.</scene_description>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>Never mind!</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>That kid? That kid's not bigger than you. Go back and get your money.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Dad, let me handle it, okay? Kevin, do you want me to help you get your money back?</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <parenthetical>(very tense)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>No! Can't we just go? I want to go!</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Okay.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>Okay?</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(points away from the table)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>That's a little kid. Justin can beat up that kid.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Frank)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Shut up, okay? Can you just shut</dialogue>
    <scene_description>r\* up? /Wl\*v</scene_description>
    <character>82</character>
    <dialogue>Kevin SCREAMS LOUDLY a couple of times. Everybody JUMPS.</dialogue>
    <character>CONTINUED:</character>
    <dialogue>Other customers stare.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>What happened, now?!</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>I lost my retainers.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Where?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Kevin begins to CRY.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>It's okay -</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <parenthetical>(crying)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I put 'em on the table and they're - - and they're not -</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Just relax. '</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Other CUSTOMERS WHISPERING.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Kevin, clam down.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He's in TEARS. Frank and Marilyn stare at him. They're concerned about how badly Kevin is taking it.</scene_description>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>I wrapped them in a napkin.</dialogue>
    <character>83</character>
    <dialogue>OPEN ON a CLOSE-UP of a lot of garbage.</dialogue>
    <character>EXT. PIZZA RESTAURANT - NIGHT</character>
    <dialogue>Hands plunge into the</dialogue>
    <scene_description>garbage.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>Uch! Eayh...</dialogue>
    <character>ANGLE OBI THE BACK ALLEY OF THE RESTAURANT</character>
    <dialogue>Gil is sorting through a large restaurant garbage bin. Karen enters the alley from the restaurant. Gil looks at her with a DISGUSTED FACE.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>Eayh..</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Here, let me.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>/•W^K Gil steps back WRINGING his HANDS.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Where are the kids? (CONTINUED</dialogue>
    <scene_description>f5^ TB</scene_description>
    <character>33</character>
    <dialogue>CONTINUED:</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Your folks are driving them home.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They'll wait with them at our house.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, that's just what Kevin needs. Time alone with my Dad.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Eayh...</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Let's just go.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Gil, they're" two hundred dollars. If you dropped two hundred dollars in here you'd look. Right?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil has crouched down by the wall and turned on a water nozzle that's normally used for a hose.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Let's face it. He's getting worse.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>He has his good days and he has his bad days.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Well, I don't know what more I could've done. Did I hold anything back? Anything at all?</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Gil -</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil is washing his hands FRANTICALLY.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>I mean, why is he so high-strung? He's like a poodle. Everything blown out of proportion. Where does he get this obsessive behavior from?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He SCRUBS even harder.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <parenthetical>(watching him)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I wish I knew.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil finishes washing and flicks water off his hands. ^</scene_description>
    <character>TB 83</character>
    <dialogue>CONTINUED:</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>They're going to put him in Special</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Ed.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Gil, what did you think? You'd coach Little League and get in a cowboy suit, and Kevin would be fine?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>No. I mean, no, I didn't uh... Yeah. Yeah, okay? Yeah.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Well, honey, you were really kidding yourself.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>I think we're kidding ourselves about the whole thing.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>What whole thing?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>That what you put in is what you get out. That it makes any difference whether you're like my father or me or anyone else.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Got 'em.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Good. Let's go home.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Why don't you just think of Kevin as a work in progress?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He almost LAUGHS.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Hm... You know when your kid is born it can still be perfect. You haven't made any mistakes yet. Then they grow up to be... like</dialogue>
    <scene_description>/JlflflN, TB KAREN You've survived. s</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Barely. And I wasn't as bad as Kevin. I mean, what's the point of going through shit like that if your kids have to go through it, too.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>8A INT. VAN - NIGHT gi Gil and Karen are driving home from the restaurant. Gil's still down.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>I'm going to be home late tomorrow.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>How come?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>I'm attempting to "dazzle" Steve. I'm trying to put together a major income property deal for some of our bigger clients.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Has Steve said anything?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Thursday when I left for Little League, he said "Let's all thank Gil for dropping by today." I didn't tke it as a good sign.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Well, let's wait and see. Worrying isn't going to help.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>God, I'm so tense. I could shit question marks.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Karen's EYEBROWS go UP as she gets a thought.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>You're tsnse right now, honey?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Man, am I tense.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She considers her thought. She looks at Gil, driving. He looks TENSE. She looks down at his crotch, then looks around at the highway.</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>(tentatively)</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Maybe there's something I can do... to help you relax.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(off-hand)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I doubt it.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>I'd like to try.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Her HEAD starts to go towards his pants. 85 EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT a5 Gil and Karen are STANDING on the side of the road. A TOW TRUCK is HOOKED UP to their van, the front of which, is smashed up. Gil is holding a HANDKERCHIEF to a small BRUISE on his FOREHEAD. Karen looks down at the ground, EMBARRASSED. The truck hauls their car away.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>I'm sorry.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>It's all right. It was my fault. You just kind of took me by surprise.</dialogue>
    <character>POLICEMAN</character>
    <parenthetical>(strides up)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>So how'd this happen?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Karen)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Show him.</dialogue>
    <character>86 EXT.</character>
    <dialogue>Frank's car PULLS UP in the driveway. He and Marilyn and Cool</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK'S HOUSE - NIGHT</character>
    <dialogue>get out. They head for the house. They HEAR a car ENGINE and Larry pulls into the driveway in Frank's classic car.</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Hi, Dad.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>Take the boy inside.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Marilyn looks at Frank, SYMPATHETICALLY. She and Cool go inside. Larry is full of good cheer. Frank gets out of his car and OPENS the garage. Larry PULLS IN. jfl!fl^\</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>86 CONTINUED:</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>I couldn't resist, Dad. I had to</dialogue>
    <scene_description>take the car out for a spin. Purrs like a kitten. You're probably wondering why I took it out without telling you. I wanted to have it appraised so you'd know how much it was worth. Only they can't appraise it unless they have all the paperwork. Proof of purchase, registration. You got those things around?</scene_description>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <parenthetical>(loudly)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I'm not a schmuck.</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Well, of course you're not, Dad.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>And I'11 fight anyone who says you are. i t Frank manually YANKS DOWN the garage DOOR, closing them both i inside the garage. t</scene_description>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>You were going to sell my car.</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>I What? Sell your car? Dad -</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>Look, don't bull shit me anymore. It belittles us both... I want you out of the house.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Frank starts to leave.</scene_description>
    <character>, LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Dad, they're gonna kill me.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Frank stops.</scene_description>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>Bookies?</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Friggin' basketball. I had a lock. \* This this miserable son-of-a-bitch \* rookie throws in a goddam fifty \* footer at the buzzer. It was a \* nightmare. It was like he reached \* into/my chest and ripped out my heart. \* I wouldn've been - \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description> V</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>86 CONTINUED:</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Shut up...</scene_description>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>How much do you owe?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The truth.</scene_description>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Twenty-six thousand dollars.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>y^S. TB 86 CONTINUED:</scene_description>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <parenthetical>(winces)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Jesus J</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>I'm never gambling again, I swear to God. But these guys mean business.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>What about the three thousand I gave you?</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>I took it to the track. I wanted to run it up so I wouldn't have to hit you for the whole amount.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>What the hell's the matter with \* you? You're not a kid anymore! \* You're not stupid. \*</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>I can't get a break. Hey, I've been so close so many times. I could \* touch it. \*</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>Did you ever think about getting \* a job? \*</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, great. Oh, that's great now. \* What did you always tell me? Make \* your mark. Make your mark. Don't \* be one of the numbers. Make your \* mark. \*</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>You misunderstood me. You weren't \* listening.</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, come on. If I called you up to tell you "Hey, Dad, I'm the new assistant sub-vice-president of \* pencil sharpening at some bean bag company" you're telling me you'd think that was great? I'm better than that. I'm not Gil.</dialogue>
    <character>86</character>
    <dialogue>CONTINUED:</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Larry sees that his father is overwhelmed so he chances</scene_description>
    <character>,,</character>
    <dialogue>So</dialogue>
    <scene_description>(\* tacks.</scene_description>
    <character>LARRY (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>Look, I've made some mistakes and I have to learn from them... Dad, they're gonna kill me. With pain... I'm your son.</dialogue>
    <character>87</character>
    <dialogue>Nathan is holding up FLASH CARDS for Patty.</dialogue>
    <character>INT. SUSAN AND NATHAN'S BEDROOM - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>The first card</dialogue>
    <scene_description>says "1H."</scene_description>
    <character>PATTY</character>
    <dialogue>Hydrogen.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The next card says "2He."</scene_description>
    <character>PATTY (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>Helium.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The next card says "6C."</scene_description>
    <character>PATTY (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>Carbon.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Susan enters. She's carrying FLASH CARDS.</scene_description>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Nathan)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Excuse me, honey, I don't mean to interrupt, but I've made up some new cards.</dialogue>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>(surprised and pleased)</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>Really? Oh, Mommy, that's great. I'm so glad you're back with the program. Let's do your cards.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>Well, why don't I show them to you first to make sure they're appropriate.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>Okay.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(to Patty)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Mommy and I will be back in two minutes. How many seconds is that?</dialogue>
    <character>PATTY</character>
    <dialogue>Uh... one-twenty.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>Excellente. \*</dialogue>
    <character>88 INT.</character>
    <dialogue>Susan prepares to show Nathan her cards. Nathan READS ALOUD as</dialogue>
    <character>UPSTAIRS LANDING - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>he sees them.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>"This is...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>New card.</scene_description>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>"the only way"</dialogue>
    <scene_description>New card.</scene_description>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>"I can get"... "Your attention"</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(not reading)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Isn't this a little too basic. She's way beyond this.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Susan just; keeps going.</scene_description>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <parenthetical>(reads)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>"I'm leaving you"...</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(not reading)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>What? You're leeving me?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She HOLDS UP another card.</scene_description>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <parenthetical>(reads)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>r^ "Yes." TB</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. SUSAN'S CLOSET - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Patty is in the closet playing with Susan's clothes. She is already wearing a hat and pearls and is going through the</scene_description>
    <character>\*</character>
    <dialogue>"</dialogue>
    <scene_description>drawers looking for more things. She finds the shoebox. \* She drops it and it falls open. Candy and cake spill out. \* Patty STARES, AMAZED. Over the preceding and the following " we hear a muffled OFF-CAMERA ARGUMENT. Patty has taken some CANDY on to her parents' bed and EXCITEDLY UNWRAPPED THEM. She eats. Delighted, she ROLLS OVER ON the bed hitting the TV REMOTE CONTROL. " The TV COMES ON. It's a cartoon. She stares, at first BEWILDERED. Then as the cartoon becomes more violent and silly, she begins to LAUGH. The OFF-CAMERA ARGUING STOPS.</scene_description>
    <character>NATHAN (O.C.)</character>
    <parenthetical>(muffled)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>What's that noise?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The bedroom door OPENS and Nathan hurries in. Susan is behind him.</scene_description>
    <character>NATHAN (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>What's the matter with her?</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>There's nothing the matter with her. She's laughing you idiot.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Susan EXITS.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. HELEN'S HOUSE - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>Helen is at the front door with a fortyish man named GEORGE BOWMAN. He's very pleasant. '</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Well, thanks. I had a really nice time. It's been years since anybody took me to a carnival.</dialogue>
    <character>GEORGE</character>
    <dialogue>Well, when your brother's the geek you have a little pull.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She LAUGHS\*.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>You're pretty funny for a biology teacher.</dialogue>
    <character>GEORGE</character>
    <dialogue>Thank you.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Would you like to come in?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>--JJP^V TB Sure.</scene_description>
    <character>GEORGE</character>
    <dialogue>Helen OPENS the front door and Gary and Tod TUMBLE OUT WRESTT -""• They JUMP UP. It's obvious they're having fun. \*LsrL^.</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <parenthetical>(flushed and happy)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Hi, Mom. Hi, Mr. Boyer.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(to Tod, laughing)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Knee drop.</dialogue>
    <character>INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT</character>
    <dialogue>He KNEE DROPS.</dialogue>
    <character>9-</character>
    <dialogue>Tod JUMPS UP.</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <parenthetical>(mock fear))</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Whoa...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Tod chases Garry OUT OF the living room and into Garry's room.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Would you like some coffee?</dialogue>
    <character>GEORGE</character>
    <dialogue>Love, some. Can I ask you something? How come you finally decided to go out with me?</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Oh... my Grandma told me to. She's staying with us. Only it's a little crowded so tomorrow I'mtaking her over to my brother Gil's</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The front door OPENS and Julie enters. She's carrying GROCERY BAGS. She's ANGRY.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Hi, Julie. I'd like you to meet</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>Tod!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Tod and Garry enter. They're DISHEVELED. Tod has Gary in a HEADLOCK.</scene_description>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>What's up? D'you get the double Oreos?</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>I found this in the trunk of the car;</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>.-\*</stage_direction>
    <character>91</character>
    <dialogue>CONTINUED:</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She pulls a RACING HELMET OUT OF the bag. Tod lets go of Garry,</scene_description>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>You're racing again, aren't you?</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <parenthetical>(hesitates, then)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Yeah, so what?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She THROWS the helmet at him.</scene_description>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>You promised, that's what!</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>I changed my.mind.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>What about housepainting?</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>I gave it up.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>You gave it up? That was your future.</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>Well... Dave and Rod kinda took all the equipment and split. I don't know where they are.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>I told you not to trust those guys, didn't I tell you?</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>Okay, I'm not as smart as you. Okay? I didn't get thirteen thousand on my S.A.T.'s. Okay? I'm stupid, okay?</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>Okay.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Julie...</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>Butt out.</dialogue>
    <character>GEORGE</character>
    <dialogue>Maybe I should leave.</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>^ No maybe I should leave.</dialogue>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>What do you mean "maybe?"</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>Tod STORMS OUT.</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <parenthetical>(plaintive)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Tod...</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(angrily)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>What is it about the women in this family that make all the men in this family want to leave?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Garry STORMS OUT.</scene_description>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>Well, if he thinks I'm having the baby now, he's crazy.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Julie goes to her room. Helen STARES straight ahead.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Baby?</dialogue>
    <character>GEORGE</character>
    <parenthetical>(intrigued)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Your daughter's having a baby? You're going to be a grandma?</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>No, I'm young. Grandmas are old. They bake and sew and tell you stories about the Depression. I was at Woodstock for God's sake! I peed in a field. I hung on to the Who's helicopter as it flew away.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>During the preceding, Helen has gotten up and poured herself a drink.</scene_description>
    <character>GEORGE</character>
    <dialogue>I was at Woodstock.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah?... I thought you looked familiar.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She tosses one back.</scene_description>
    <character>92 INT.</character>
    <dialogue>Gil and Steve are there.</dialogue>
    <character>STEVE'S OFFICE - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>STEVE</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil... we're making Phil Richardson a partner. /i^\ TB Holy shitS</scene_description>
    <character>STEVE</character>
    <dialogue>I know you're upset.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(furious)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Have you seen the deals I've been putting together? I've been killing \* myself. I mean aren't you dazzled?</dialogue>
    <character>STEVE</character>
    <dialogue>You still don't get it. Phil brought in three band-new multi- million dollar clients. He spent the last month wining and dining these guys, getting 'em laid. He \* doesn't tell me problems about his \* kids. If his dick fell off he'd \* still come into work. He's an \* animal. That's what dazzles. Not the work. You can't do what he does. You hate that shit.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>I quit.</dialogue>
    <character>STEVE</character>
    <parenthetical>(coaxing)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Gil...</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>No, forget it. Phil got you a lot of big clients, you're happy. Let's see if you still have 'em after Phil handles their money.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>i</scene_description>
    <character>1</character>
    <dialogue>Gil...</dialogue>
    <character>STEVE</character>
    <dialogue>GIL</dialogue>
    <scene_description>I just want to see my clients, give them the news and then I'm out of here. Friday's my last day. Don't make me a party.</scene_description>
    <character>STEVE</character>
    <dialogue>Gil...</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>/ (mimicking)</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Steve... J0^\ Gil exits. ./iff^. TBGil is in rush hour traffic. He looks ILL. He's RUBBING his STOMACH. He grabs for an AUDIO CASSETTE and shoves it in.</scene_description>
    <character>WOMAN'S VOICE (ON TAPE)</character>
    <parenthetical>(singing)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>All around the mulberry bush. The monkey chased the -</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Aagr.!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He tries to PULL it OUT but it JAMS. He can't get it out. He POUNDS on it. He KICKS the DASHBOARD.</scene_description>
    <character>94 EXT.</character>
    <dialogue>Gil pulls in. The driveway is BLOCKED by all kinds of kids'</dialogue>
    <character>BLAYLOCK DRIVEWAY - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>stuff - bikes, skateboards, scooters. Gil comes to a SHORT STOP, gets out and begins FLINGING the stuff OUT OF the driveway.</dialogue>
    <character>95 INT. HOUSE - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>Gil ENTERS. It's bedlam. CHILDREN and SCREAMING. Kevin and</dialogue>
    <character>95</character>
    <dialogue>another boy, MILES, come careening around a corner. They KNOCK OVER a TABLE. There is a violent RUNG FUN movie playing on TV.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Hey. This isn't a playground.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Taylor ENTERS with another girl, ANN. Taylor attaches herseif to Gil's leg.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Not now.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The boys run back in SCREAMING LOUDLY.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL (CON'T)</character>
    <parenthetical>(screams)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Knock it off!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>yff^v /$fr\ TB</scene_description>
    <character>96</character>
    <dialogue>Gil goes into the kitchen. Karen is BATHING the DOG in the SINK</dialogue>
    <character>INT. KITCHEN - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>The dog moves and SHAKES, getting soap and water all over her.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>There's eleven kids in the house so you figured this was a good time to wash the dog? What, does she have, a date?</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <parenthetical>(annoyed)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>She rolled in fertilizer.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Who hasn't? Where's Justin?</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>I don't know.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Is he in the house? Is he in the city? Narrow it down.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Gil, I'm not in the mood.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>There's a THUMPING SOUND, FOLLOWED by CRYING. Gil takes off.</scene_description>
    <character>97</character>
    <dialogue>OMIT SCENE</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. HALLWAY/UPSTAIRS - DAY ?3</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>He DASHES UP the stairs and rushes into his bedroom.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. GIL'S BEDROOM - DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>All five kids are in there. Justin is on the floor, CRYING.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>What happened?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>/T^v ^ \</scene_description>
    <character>99</character>
    <dialogue>He HOLDS Justin, who CONTINUES TO cry.All four kids begin to calk</dialogue>
    <character>CONTINUED:</character>
    <dialogue>at once - all loud. They are telling some garbled story about jumping on the bed and they're each fighting to be the one who</dialogue>
    <character>.;</character>
    <dialogue>tells the story.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Okay, just get out. Just get out. Play in the yard.</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>It's full of manure.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Play on the roof. Just find someplace to play.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>GRUMBLING, the kids file out.</scene_description>
    <character>TAYLOR</character>
    <dialogue>Here, Daddy. Justin broke this.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She hands him a video cassette with the TAPE ALL OUT of the cassette, and hopelessly tangled. The kids leave except for Justin.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Please God... let it be any tape other than Cream's farewell performance at Albert Hall.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>SLOWLY, he turns it over to read the label.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Shit! Shit! Shit!</dialogue>
    <character>JUSTIN</character>
    <dialogue>Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.</dialogue>
    <character>100 INT. GIL'S BEDROOM - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>Gil is attempting to RESPOOL the tape.</dialogue>
    <character>100</character>
    <dialogue>Karen enters.</dialogue>
    <character>TIRED.</character>
    <dialogue>KAREN</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(like a list)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>All right. The other kids got picked up, and ours are watching a tape and Helen just dropped your Grandma off. Let's talk.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>I quit my job.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <parenthetical>(shocked)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>/pss.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Why? TB</scene_description>
    <character>100</character>
    <dialogue>CONTINUED:</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Richards.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>They gave the partnership to Phil</dialogue>
    <scene_description>i00</scene_description>
    <character>\*</character>
    <dialogue>\*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>(can't stand it) \* Phil Richards!! This is a man who \* walked out on his wife and children, \* then put all his money in his girl- \* friend's name, so that they couldn't \* touch him for child support. I \* mean he's... he's... \* (searches for the word) \* Anyway, I couldn't stand it. I \* snapped. \*</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Can you still change your mind?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(annoyed)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>What do you mean change my mind? I quit.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Did you say anything that would make it hard for them to take you back?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Jesus, honey, I was hoping you'd be a little more supportive. It's not like -</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>I'm pregnant.</dialogue>
    <character>SILENCE.</character>
    <dialogue>GIL</dialogue>
    <scene_description>What... what do you... you're... since when?</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Since I am. I'm due in February. I didn't want to say anything until I was sure.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>How did this happen?</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>How... it was an accident. Anyway, that's why I'm saying maybe this</dialogue>
    <scene_description>-^ isn't the best time for you to be \ out of work or starting a new job. •#\*> (./</scene_description>
    <character>100</character>
    <dialogue>GIL</dialogue>
    <character>CONTINUED:</character>
    <dialogue>Y o u k n o w , h o n e y , if y o u had j u s t</dialogue>
    <character>10Q</character>
    <dialogue>told m e t h e r e w a s a c h a n c e t h i s was happening, I might not have quit in the first place.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>W e l l , y o u n e v e r told m e t h e r e w a s a chance you would quit.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>-^IfflWS</scene_description>
    <character>100</character>
    <dialogue>GIL</dialogue>
    <character>CONTINUED;</character>
    <dialogue>It was a spur of the moment decision.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Pretty big one.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>So what are you saying I should do? Crawl back into work, kiss Steve's feet and get my crappy job back? I quit, then crawl back, they got me. I'm a eunuch. I am theirs to treat as they might.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>You know this puts a minor crimp in my. life, too. I was thinking of.going back to work this fall. Now I can't.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL.</character>
    <dialogue>Well, you know, that's the. difference between men and women. Women have choices, men have responsibilities.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Oh really? Okay. I choose for you to have the baby. Okay?\* That's my choice. You have the baby, you get fat, you breastfeed 'til your nipples are sore. I'll go back to work.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>All right. Let's return from La-La Land. That ain't gonna happen. And whether I crawl back to Steve or get another job, it's obvious now I've gotta put in more hours, I've gotta have</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(with distaste)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>business dinners and... play racquetball.. \* and get guys laid, so I hope you don't \* mind, honey... \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>TB 100 CONTINUED:</scene_description>
    <character>GIL (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>I'll have to bring a few prostitutes over because that's the only way you can get anywhere and I'm not getting anywhere. So whatever happens, you have to count on less help from me.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Why don't you just say what you're thinking?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>What am I thinking?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>y#\*N</scene_description>
    <character>TB :CN:</character>
    <dialogue>KAREN</dialogue>
    <scene_description>That I should have an abortion.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Hey. I didn't say that. That's a decision a woman should make about her own body.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>What are you, running for Congress? Don't give me that. I want your opinion about what we should do. Let's make believe It's your decision. Pretend you were a caveman or your father. What do you want me to do?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>I want... whatever you want.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Well, I want to have the baby.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(obviously sarcastic)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Well, great then. Let's have it. Let's see how I can screw up the fourth one. Hey. Let's have five. Let's have six. Let's have a dozen and pretend they're donuts. I'm really happy about the way things are working out. Aren't you?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He pauses for breath. He looks a little FRANTIC. kAREN STARES AT HIM sadly.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>You know... With the frame of mind you're in, not only am I not sure we should have another baby... I'm not sure we should keep the three we have.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Well, I'm ready to discuss it. However, I can't right now, because, I gotta go to goddam Little League. Ten little boys are waiting for me to guide them into last place.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <parenthetical>(annoyed)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You really have to go?</dialogue>
    <character>/^S</character>
    <dialogue>TB My whole life is "have to."</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He storms OUT OF the bedroom.</scene_description>
    <character>101 INT.</character>
    <dialogue>GIL</dialogue>
    <character>UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS ACTION - DAY</character>
    <parenthetical>(shouts)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Kevin!</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN (O.S.)</character>
    <dialogue>What?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>We're going to Little League. Get your glove.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Kevin comes UP THE STAIRS.</scene_description>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>You said I didn't have to play anymore.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Well, now I'm saying you do. If I have to go, you have to go.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>- Move it.</scene_description>
    <character>102 EXT.</character>
    <dialogue>CLOSE-UP of a furry MITTEN wiping a seat. Stan the usher, seating a couple of FANS.</dialogue>
    <character>BASEBALL STADIUM - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>PULL BACK to REVEAL Stan heads down the</dialogue>
    <scene_description>aisle.</scene_description>
    <character>LITTLE GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Stan.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Stan STOPS. Ho SEES Little Gil.</scene_description>
    <character>STAN</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, Gil, nice to see you. How's it going?</dialogue>
    <character>LITTLE GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Stan, can we talk man-to-man?</dialogue>
    <character>STAN</character>
    <dialogue>Sure.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Little Gil turns into Gil. He looks BAD.</scene_description>
    <character>STAN</character>
    <dialogue>Gil what the hell's wrong. I look</dialogue>
    <scene_description>f\* better than you.</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>102 CONTINUED:</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>My life's not working Stan. It's</dialogue>
    <character>1C2</character>
    <dialogue>just... it's a shit factory, and I'm the foreman. I'm really afraid that I'm at a point where I might do something crazy.</dialogue>
    <character>STAN</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah? Like what?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>I don't know. Like - get fat. \* Really blow up. Or have an affair \* with Cindy, the Xerox girl. You \* know, ruin my life and then blame \* the whole thing on Karen. \*</dialogue>
    <character>STAN</character>
    <dialogue>Talk it out, Gil. Talk it out \*</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>How are you supposed to raise your \* kids? Like me? Like Nathan? Like \* my father? I mean is there a - \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>, STAN I Gil, please. You're raving. When \* i it comes to raising kids there's \* i just one simple secret. Do you want \* to know what it is, Gil? Do you want \* to know the secret of raising kids so \* that everybody's happy? \*</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Yesl Yesl \*</dialogue>
    <character>STAN</character>
    <dialogue>Okay, here it is.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>TWO PEOPLE with tickets seem lost. Stan notices them.</scene_description>
    <character>STAN</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Gil)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Just a second.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Stan seats the two people, then returns to Gil.</scene_description>
    <character>STAN (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>Nobody tips anymore.</dialogue>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>Stan, the secret.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>STAN</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Right. This is it. The secret of raising kids... The CRACK of the BAT.</scene_description>
    <character>STAN</character>
    <dialogue>... is this...</dialogue>
    <scene_description>A FOUL BALL SLAMS into Stan's HEAD with a loud "crack." Stan goes down like a sack of shit. He doesn't move. PEOPLE gathe- around him and almost immediately, a MAN dressed as a doctor, with a doctor's bag\*, hurries down the aisle. The doctor bends Stan. i > i /^</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>(immediately)</dialogue>
    <character>DOCTOR</character>
    <dialogue>This man is dead.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(holds up tickets)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Does anyone know where these seats are?</dialogue>
    <character>ANGLE ON GIL, IN SHOCK</character>
    <dialogue>GIL</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Stan... What were you going to Scty\* • • • busiit • •</scene_description>
    <character>KEVIN (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>Dad.</dialogue>
    <character>103 EXT.</character>
    <dialogue>Gil is holding a bat. The boys are waiting for him to hit</dialogue>
    <character>LITTLE LEAGUE FIELD - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>fungos.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Oh.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil HITS a POP-UP. Kevin MISSES it.</scene_description>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>Get behind the ball. It's easier to come in.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil SEES his father standing behind him.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(surprised)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Hi, Dad. What are you doing here?</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>Karen said you were here. You got a second.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah. Wayne, you want to take over a second?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil and Frank go over to the bleachers. It's relatively private.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>What's up?</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>I need your advice.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil STAGGERS BACKWARDS.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Wait a second. My head is</dialogue>
    <scene_description>f^ spinning.</scene_description>
    <character>(CONTINUED</character>
    <dialogue>TB</dialogue>
    <character>:;3 CONT::;"ZD ;</character>
    <dialogue>FRANK</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Larry needs twenty-six thousand dollars or gamblers are gonna kill</scene_description>
    <character>-</character>
    <dialogue>him.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Jesus...</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>And I'm supposed to decide whether to give it to him.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>What about the, uh... hydroponics.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <parenthetical>(looking away)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>He was just yanking my chain.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>And you want my advice. Why me? Why now?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>' FRANK Because I know you think I was t a shitty father... They STARE AT each other for a moment. )</scene_description>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>Thank you for not arguing. And I know you're a good father. So tell me... What would you do?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>You got that kind of money?</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>I got it. It's gonna hurt. I wanted to retire next year. This would put that off for awhile. A long while... I never should've had four.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Pause.</scene_description>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>You know, when you were two years old, we thought you had polio. You know about that?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Uh, yeah, Mom once said something...</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>For a week, we didn't know... I hated you for that.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>(^ TB What?</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>FRANK</dialogue>
    <scene_description>I did. I hated having to go through that. The caring, the worrying. The pain. Not for me. And it's not like that all ends when they're eighteen or twenty-one or forty-one or sixty-one. It never ends. It's like your Aunt Edna's ass. It goes on forever and just as frightening. Gil LAUGHS.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>It's true.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>There's no end zone. You never cross the goal line, spike the ball and do your touchdown dance. Neverk I'm sixty-four. Larry's twenty-seven. He's still my son. Like Kevin's your son. You think I want him to get hurt?</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(he fights back tears)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>He's my son...</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(he can't speak)</parenthetical>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, come on.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil puts his arm around him. It's an uneasy embrace.</scene_description>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>I'm all right. I'll figure it out.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, you know... who's to say who's a shitty father. Kevin's in therapy. We got called to school last year because Taylor was kissing all the boys. Justin keeps ramming things with his head. My career's in the shit-house.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Frank SLAPS Gil's FACE, with love.</scene_description>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>You worry too much. You always did.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil considers this and NODS.</scene_description>
    <character>��/\*\*\*</character>
    <dialogue>TB</dialogue>
    <character>103 CONTINUED:</character>
    <dialogue>GIL</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(not really meaning it)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I guess I should've been more like you.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>Nah. What do you want to be like me for? I missed it.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>You missed it? What did you miss?</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>All of it.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(leaves)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You got everybody in the wrong positions.</dialogue>
    <character>104 EXT.</character>
    <dialogue>The game is in progress. Kevin is playing right field. Gil's</dialogue>
    <character>LITTLE LEAGUE FIELD - LATER - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>team's pitcher, pitches and a ground ball is hit to short. RUNNERS TAKE OFF from every base. The SHORTSTOP boots it. MATT, the first baseman, throws down his GLOVE.</dialogue>
    <character>MATT</character>
    <parenthetical>(to the shortstop)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I We only need one more out. Can't</dialogue>
    <scene_description>you even field a ground ball?</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(yells)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Matt I'm not gonna warn you again. Once more and you're out of there, I don't care what happens. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Matt looks DISGUSTED by this reprimand.</scene_description>
    <character>LOU</character>
    <parenthetical>(at Gil)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>What are you yelling at him for? He's the only player you got.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(at Matt)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Matt. One more out, son. Wherever it's hit, you go for it. That's the only way you're gonna win.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Matt, with OBNOXIOUS CONFIDENCE, gives his father the okay sign. The ball is pitched and a high fly ball is hit to right field. Kevin, at first STUNNED, begins to STAGGER towards it.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Oh, shit.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Kevin is really STRUGGLING. It's too high. He can't judge it. f\*</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>104 ANGLE ON GIL</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Help him Mr. Bo-Bo-Boots.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Matt takes off from first base and races out into right field He's going to save the day. Kevin CONTINUES TO stagger. Matt CONTINUES TO race back. The ball comes down. Kevin makes a brave stab at the ball. It lands in his glove. Just then, Matt plows into him. Kevin is sent flying. The BALL POPS OUT OF his glove. As he falls, Kevin reaches for the ball and grabs it again. He makes the catch and rolls over. He gets up and HOLDS UP the ball. The kids CHEER WILDLY. Gil goes WILD. He JUMPS UP and DOWN, flinging his fists in the air and WHOOPING. He runs out to right field with his arms held wide. Gil and all the kids surround Kevin and pound on him happily. Matt remains ALOOF.</scene_description>
    <character>MATT</character>
    <dialogue>Nice catch, Blaylock.</dialogue>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <parenthetical>(thinks about it)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Eat shit, Dicknose.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Kevin TOSSES the ball softly, but contemptuously, at Matt. Matt is SHOCKED. Kevin is ESCORTED OFF by his admiring teammates.</scene_description>
    <character>105 INT.</character>
    <dialogue>ANGLE ON LARRY</dialogue>
    <character>LIVING ROOM - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>He's staring, FRIGHTENED.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK (V.O.)</character>
    <dialogue>I'm going to help you.</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <parenthetical>(relieved)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Oh, Dad...</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(hugs him)</parenthetical>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>We go see these gangsters and we agree to pay them a thousand dollars a month. They're businessmen. They'll see that something's better than nothing. Then Monday morning, eight AM, you come to work with me at my place. I'm going to teach you the business.</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Plumbing supplies? Flush valves and ball cocks?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>(CONTINUEDi TB FRANK Yes. And in a few years, I'll retire and you'll take over. Meanwhile, as long as you're working, and if you'll go to Gamblers Anonymous - I'll keep paying your debt. You can stay here if you have to. And in a few years, you'll be able to support yourself and your son. ThaVs A.</scene_description>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Okay... let me just add a wrinkle. About an hour ago I got a call from an associate in Chile. Big opportunity. Platinum. Why don't I just toddle off down there for a month or two, see if it pans out - if it does great - if not we put the Frank Blaylock plan into effect. Sound good?</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>... sure.</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Oh. I could use a little -</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>Two thousand enough?</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Ample. Ample. I better pack.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>What about Cool?</dialogue>
    <character>LARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Ooh! That's a tough one. This is really not the kind of trip ~ SayI How about -</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>Don't worry about it.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>INT. saaam P O R C H ROOM - A FEW MINUTES LATER - DAY Frank is holding one of his CARS. He's very thoughtful. Cool enters from Larry's room. He looks WORRIED. Cool sits on the opposite end of the SOFA from Frank.</scene_description>
    <character>COOL</character>
    <dialogue>My Dad's going away.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>Yes.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>\</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>He's leaving right away.</dialogue>
    <character>COOL</character>
    <dialogue>FRANK</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Yes.</scene_description>
    <character>COOL</character>
    <parenthetical>(pause)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Is he ever coming back?</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <parenthetical>(pause)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>No.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Frank looks right at him. They both speak without much emotion.</scene_description>
    <character>COOL</character>
    <dialogue>Am I going back with my Mom?</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>You want to?</dialogue>
    <character>COOL</character>
    <dialogue>No.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>Would you like to stay here with us?</dialogue>
    <character>COOL</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah...</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>Good... Come here.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He does.</scene_description>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>You know what this is?</dialogue>
    <character>COOL</character>
    <dialogue>A Packard.</dialogue>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>That's right. You want it?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Cool NODS. Frank gives it to him.</scene_description>
    <character>FRANK</character>
    <dialogue>Tomorrow we'll put up a shelf in your room.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Cool plays with his car and SMILES SLIGHTLY.</scene_description>
    <character>107 INT.</character>
    <dialogue>(^</dialogue>
    <character>HIGH SCHOOL CORRIDOR - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>HIGH SCHOOL KIDS move through the halls between periods.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>RING. Susan appears, carrying a BRIEFCASE.</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>(to Susan)</dialogue>
    <character>STUDENT</character>
    <dialogue>Good morning, Mrs. Green.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>'Morning.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She reaches her classroom door. STUDENTS are filing in. A HAND GRABS her arm. It's Nathan's.</scene_description>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>Susan, I need to talk to you.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>Not now. I have a class.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>I want you to come home. This is very bad for Patty. She can't concentrate -</dialogue>
    <scene_description>A bell RINGS. The halls are clearing.</scene_description>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <parenthetical>(annoyed)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Let me go.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>Wait... It's very bad for me, too. I love you.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>Those are words. They don't solve anything.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>I'll change. We'll compromise.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>Nathan, I don't think you're capable of change.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She goes into her classroom. :i</scene_description>
    <character>108 INT.</character>
    <dialogue>Susan enters.</dialogue>
    <character>CLASSROOM - DAY</character>
    <dialogue>It's a little NOISY.</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>okay, come on. We're way behind because of yesterday's bomb threat, so let's get going.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She PICKS UP a piece of CHALK and begins writing on the blackboard. /\*\* (CONTINUED i</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>103 CONTINUED:</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN (O.C.)</character>
    <parenthetical>(singing, and not terribly well, but earnestly)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>"Why do birds suddenly appear "</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Susan DROPS her chalk and FREEZES.</scene_description>
    <character>NATHAN (O.C.)</character>
    <dialogue>"- Every time you are near..."</dialogue>
    <character>ANGLE ON NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>He looks very SINCERE. He approaches Susan.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>"Just like me, They long to be, Close to you"</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He POINTS on "you." i \ SUSAN j Nathan, please. I'll lose my job. 1</scene_description>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>"Why do stars twinkle in the sky Every time you</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(points)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>walk by"</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <dialogue>Nathan, we're trying so hard to keep these kids off drugs.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>"Just like me</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(points to himself)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>They long to be Close to you.</dialogue>
    <character>ANGLE ON THE STUDENTS, SPELLBOUND</character>
    <dialogue>He CLOSES IN on her.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>"On the day that you were born The angels got together And decided to create a dream come true"</dialogue>
    <character>SUSAN</character>
    <parenthetical>(to students embarrassed)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>This was the song from our wedding.</dialogue>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>"So they sprinkled moondust in your hair And golden sunshine in your eyes so blue"</dialogue>
    <scene_description>(CONTINUEDi r-yflft£t\*. TB 108 CONTINUED: SUSAN (to students) It's a wedding kind of song.</scene_description>
    <character>NATHAN</character>
    <dialogue>"That is why all the boys in town Follow you... a-a-round.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Susan begins to SMILE</scene_description>
    <character>NATHAN (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>Just like me They long to be Close to You... Ah-ah-ah-ah... Close to you •I</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He's done.</scene_description>
    <character>NATHAN (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>I love you, Susan. I want you back.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They EMBRACE. They KISS. The students WATCH.</scene_description>
    <character>109 INT. GIL'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT</character>
    <dialogue>109</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The family is there. Taylor is dressed like Dopey of the Seven Dwarves.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Can we 'tape over Susan's wedding? \*</dialogue>
    <character>' KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Nol \*</dialogue>
    <character>TAYLOR</character>
    <dialogue>Ma, my ears are loose.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Give me, I'll fix 'em. Your pants are on backwards. Go upstairs and turn them around. And tell Grandma we're going. She's still playing Nintendo.</dialogue>
    <character>\*</character>
    <dialogue>She starts to go.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>"7^</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>109 CONTINUED:</dialogue>
    <character>�GIL</character>
    <dialogue>You know your lines?</dialogue>
    <character>TAYLOR</character>
    <dialogue>I don't have any lines. I'm Dopey.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She goes upstairs.</scene_description>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>I'll say.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Kevin, take Justin outside and put him in his carseat.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Am>\ TB I have to do everything. (to Justin) Come on, shrimp. Justin LOWERS his HEAD and BUTTS Kevin.</scene_description>
    <character>KEVIN</character>
    <dialogue>And I'm the one in therapy.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They go. Karen CONTINUES TO work on Taylor's ears. Gil is gathering up his video equipment. He STOPS and stares at Karen She doesn't notice. She keeps working. He CONTINUES TO stare.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>I love you.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <parenthetical>(casually)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I love you, too.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>No... I mean I really love you.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She STOPS. She looks up. She's SURPRISED.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <parenthetical>(more serious than before)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I love you, too.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Steve called. He was crying. He actually cried. He said if I came back, he'd give me a corner office with new furniture and a raise. Like that's supposed to make up for everything.</dialogue>
    <dialogue>I don't know. Maybe this is some kind of "guy\* thing I can't understand. You like your job. And you hate all that crap the partners have to do. So why would you want to be one?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Try this. Money and ego.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>we're not starving and I think you're great.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Now she tells as. Anyway, I took the job. I couldn't think.</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(more)</parenthetical>
    <scene_description>(CONTINUE:</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>-? ,v.i.....iJ:</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>I was still high from the Little</dialogue>
    <scene_description>•/•""\* League game. Isn't that demented? •• That a grown man's happiness can depend on whether a ine-year-old catches a pop-up? I mean what if he missed?</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>He didn't.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>But he could have.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>But he didn't.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>But he could have.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Buthe didn't. Gil, you threw him</dialogue>
    <scene_description>• twelve million pop-ups in the back i yard. You cut the odds f considerably. If you hadn't... Aah... She's messed up the ears.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>But there's three of them. And you want to have four. And the fourth one could be Larry. And they're all gonna do a lot of things. Baseball's the least of it. And in all those things, sometimes they're gonna miss.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Sometimes they won't.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Sometimes they will.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Sometimes they won't.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Sometimes they will.</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>What do you want me to give you, guarantees? These are kids, not appliances. Life is messy.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(nods)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I hate messy. It's so... messy.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>f</scene_description>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>Grandma appears.</dialogue>
    <character>GRANDMA</character>
    <dialogue>ID</dialogue>
    <scene_description>You know when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Oh?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He looks at Karen like what is she talking about?"</scene_description>
    <character>GRANDMA</character>
    <dialogue>Up, down, up, down, what a ride.</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(patronizing)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>What a ureat story</dialogue>
    <scene_description>} Now his look to Karen says "Grandma's senile." i</scene_description>
    <character>GRANDMA</character>
    <dialogue>I kept wanting to go again. It was just interesting to me that a ride could make me so scared and sa sick and so excited and so thrilled all together. Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. It just goes around nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it. I'll be waiting out in the car.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She leaves. Gil and Karen ponder.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>She's a very smart lady. Taylor, your ears are ready.'</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(mocking)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Oh, yeah. A minute ago I was so confused about life. Then Grandma came in with her roller coaster story and everything's great again. I think I'll have it wood-burned into a plague.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>gimsy .,/f&&\</scene_description>
    <character>109</character>
    <dialogue>CONTINUED:</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Karen fires s spool of thread at him. It hits him. angry. Gil is taken aback. She gets up. She's</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>I happen to like the roller coaster, okay?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She takes a step away.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN (CON'T)</character>
    <dialogue>As far as I'm concerned, your grandmother is brilliant.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>She EXITS. Gil is left to ponder.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <parenthetical>(looking out the window)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>If she's so brilliant, why is she sitting in our neighbors car?</dialogue>
    <character>110</character>
    <dialogue>EXT. DRIVEWAY - A FEW MINUTES LATER - NIGHT</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Taylor and Justin are in the van. Kevin is putting Grandma in the van.</scene_description>
    <character>GRANDMA</character>
    <dialogue>They all look the same.</dialogue>
    <character>ANGLE ON THE FRONT DOOR</character>
    <dialogue>Gil is LOCKING up. Karen is with him.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>/fli^V .-ysss TB (unhappy) I hate the roller coaster. Vhen I was a kid, I lost my hat on the roller coaster.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>You want to look for it?</dialogue>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>It had my name stitched in the front... big blue feather.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They reach the car.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Best hat I ever had.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Karen stares at him.over the roof of the car. she thinks he's wallowing. He stares back, refusing to cheer up. She SHAKES her HEAD. They get in.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Are we late?</dialogue>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>No. Drive slowly.</dialogue>
    <character>111 EXT.</character>
    <dialogue>A DRAGRACER fires by at hundreds of milee an hour. It's</dialogue>
    <character>DRAG STRIP - NIGHT</character>
    <dialogue>extremely NOISY. FANS CHEER and WE HEAR the results announced over a P.A. system.</dialogue>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>EXT. DRAG STRIP - NIGHT</stage_direction>
    <character>ANGLE ON JULIE, RUNNING</character>
    <dialogue>She reaches Helen, who has just entered the pit area. Julie is very UPSET.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>Mom, Mom. Hurry. He's over there. He's gonna kill himself. Stop him.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Julie, I'm not his mother.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(almost crying)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Please, Mommy, please. I'm so scared.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Now I'm "Mommy."</dialogue>
    <character>TB</character>
    <dialogue>He's over here.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>ANGLE ON TOD</dialogue>
    <dialogue>In a FLAME-PROOF OUTFIT, putting on his helmet. He's about to get in to a very professional looking DRAGSTER.</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>How's it look?</dialogue>
    <character>ANGLE ON GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>In overalls, SMOKING a cigarette.</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <parenthetical>(like an old pro)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Lookin' good. Lookin' fuckin' good.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Helen and Julie arrive.</scene_description>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>Tod, my Mom's here. Please let her talk to you.</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, lady, no visitors in the pits</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <parenthetical>(grin)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I'm glad you're here. I want you to see this. I want you to see that your daughter didn't marry a nobody.</dialogue>
    <character>. GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Bet your, sweet, pink ass.</dialogue>
    <character>- HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>You're not nobody.</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>Yes I as. But six seconds after that green light goes on, I'm gonna be somebody.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, somebody on fire.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He's in the car.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Tod, think of your baby.</dialogue>
    <character>�; TOD</character>
    <dialogue>/•"", I am.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>TB He CROSSES HIMSELF and CLOSES HIMSELF IN. An OFFICIAL HURRIES IN.</scene_description>
    <character>OFFICIAL</character>
    <dialogue>Step back please. Everyone behind the rope.</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Hey, who you pushing, you douche bag?</dialogue>
    <character>113</character>
    <dialogue>They all go BEHIND the ROPE.</dialogue>
    <character>EXT. CROWD AREA - STANDS -</character>
    <dialogue>Julie is very FRIGHTENED.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>is TENSE. The engines roar.</scene_description>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>In six seconds he's gonna be a legend.</dialogue>
    <character>114</character>
    <dialogue>, The GREEN LIGHT floes ON. Tod and his OPPONENT START. Almost</dialogue>
    <character>EXT. DRAG STRIP - ACCIDENT - NIGHT</character>
    <dialogue>immediately, Tod's car FLIPS OVER... and over and over. The TIRES come OFF and fly away. The family all SCREAM as Tod's car hurtles to a stop off the track.</dialogue>
    <character>115</character>
    <dialogue>An AMBULANCE and the family rush to him. Julie stays back a</dialogue>
    <character>EXT. DRAG STRIP - POST ACCIDENT - NIGHT</character>
    <dialogue>little. A TRACK OFFICIAL UNSEALS THE WINDOW.</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <parenthetical>(dazed)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Did I win?</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>No, but your tires did.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Are you all right?</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>Jesus, it all happened so fast.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>OFFICIALS help Tod out. He's SHAKY, BUT UNHURT. \*</scene_description>
    <character>OFFICIAL</character>
    <dialogue>Come on son. Let's go see the doctor, make sure you're all right. We'll take care of your machine.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>t TB Garry helps Tod onto the truck. Julie is standing by the ba^k of the truck, not moving. She looks a little ill. Helen, about to get on the truck, stops. ' ,</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Julie... come on, honey. "</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <parenthetical>(shakes her head)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>I can't... This is just too intense. \* This is... \*</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <parenthetical>(firm)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>This is marriage, sweetie. Get \* in the truck. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Reluctantly, Julie gets in with Helen. Julie sits as far away \* from Tod as possible. He looks at her. She doesn't look at \* him. She's very shaky. Helen looks at them both. Another \* TRACK OFFICIAL talks to Tod. \*</scene_description>
    <character>ANOTHER OFFICIAL</character>
    <dialogue>, Do you think you could do that every</dialogue>
    <scene_description>week, son? The crowd sure loved it.</scene_description>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <parenthetical>(very down)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Sure, why not? That's a good job for me. Crash dummy.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Tod, you stop that. You're a very important person.</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, why?</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Why?... Because you're the father of my grandchild.</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>Let's face it. Any jerk can be a father. I know.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Are you going to be like your father?</dialogue>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <dialogue>Who knows?</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Are you going to throw lit cigarettes at that child?</dialogue>
    <scene_description>TB No.</scene_description>
    <character>TOD</character>
    <parenthetical>(thinks)</parenthetical>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Of course not. You're not that kind " of a man. Tod, our family needs you. \* We all need you. "</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>Toddy... \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Julie goes over and hugs him. Garry looks relieved. The truck " stops. \*</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Now go see the doctor. \*</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Tod and Julie get off the truck. Then Garry and Helen get off. \*</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <parenthetical>(calls)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>And I'11 drive home.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Tod and Julie go off. Garry stays with Helen. He is staring \* at her with new eyes. \*</scene_description>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>You, like, saved their marriage. That was really bitchin'.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah... I give them six months. Four, if she cooks.</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <parenthetical>(surprised)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>You don't think they're gonna make it?</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <parenthetical>(puts her arm around him)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>The odds are not good, Garry.</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>Then why'd you say all that? Why'd you try to keep them together?</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Because Julie wants Tod. And whatever you guys want - if it's not illegal - I try to get for \* you. That's the best I can do.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>TB GARRY I'm glad you're going out with Mr. Bowman.</scene_description>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah, why?</dialogue>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <dialogue>He's funny. Besides, I think he's the kind of guy who'd be nice to you. Somebody should be nice to you.</dialogue>
    <character>HELEN</character>
    <dialogue>Bet your sweet, pink ass.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He SMILES at her.</scene_description>
    <character>GARRY</character>
    <parenthetical>(to Tod and Julie, O.C.)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>Hey, wait upJ</dialogue>
    <scene_description>He RUNS AHEAD, LEAVING Helen walking alone. Garry's last comment has left her feeling gratified. She SMILES and walks on. A DRAGSTER SPEEDS BY almost hitting her. She SPINS around almost into the path of another DRAGSTER. She puts her hand to her heart, SHAKES her HEAD and walks on. ' jfiO&s</scene_description>
    <character>116</character>
    <dialogue>116</dialogue>
    <character>INT.</character>
    <dialogue>It's a small auditorium. ON STAGE SEVEN CHILDREN are</dialogue>
    <character>AUDITORIUM - NIGHT</character>
    <dialogue>portraying the dwarves. Gil, Karen, Grandma, Kevin and Justin are seated side-by-side in the middle of the audience. The place is a sea of VIDEO CAMERAS. Many of the fathers have set up tripods in the aisles. There are fewer cameras at the Super Bowl. The "Actors" are not good.</dialogue>
    <character>DWARF</character>
    <dialogue>Somebody stole our dishes.</dialogue>
    <character>DWARF</character>
    <dialogue>They're not stolen. They're put away.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>An CFF-STAGE S N O R E . No one on stage says anything. There's a long CONFUSED SILENCE. ANOTHER OFF-STAGE SNORE.</scene_description>
    <character>/%&\</character>
    <dialogue>v\*^ 1</dialogue>
    <scene_description>TB</scene_description>
    <character>MORE CONFUSED SILENCE.</character>
    <dialogue>TEACHER (A WOMAN)</dialogue>
    <parenthetical>(stage whispers)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>What was that?</dialogue>
    <character>DWARF</character>
    <dialogue>What was that.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The AUDIENCE SNICKERS.</scene_description>
    <character>DWARF</character>
    <dialogue>It came from the bedroom.</dialogue>
    <character>DWARF</character>
    <dialogue>It sounds like a monster.</dialogue>
    <character>PAN THE BLAYLOCKS.</character>
    <dialogue>Gil looks BORED, Karen mildly BEMUSED, Kevin DISGUSTED, Justin WIDE-EYED in TERROR. ANGLE ON STAGE</dialogue>
    <character>DWARF</character>
    <dialogue>Someone should go see what it is.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>They all MUMBLE 'not me." ri r. r. O t r"</scene_description>
    <character>ANGLE ON JUSTIN, SHAKING HIS HEAD 'NO.'</character>
    <dialogue>VJV" •-••\*• ~</dialogue>
    <character>ANGLE ON STAGE</character>
    <dialogue>DWARF</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Let Dopey do it. ^\*\*N TB do it.</scene_description>
    <character>DWARF</character>
    <dialogue>Yeah. Good idea. Let's let Dopey</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Taylor, as Dopey, VIGOROUSLY SHAKES her head "no." Her EARS FLY OFF. People SNICKER. Karen WINCES. All the dwarves grab Taylor and begin DRAGGING her toward the "bedroom." She RESISTS (in character). They pull harder and urge her to "come on." She's dragged almost to the door. Justin LEAPS OUT of his seat.</scene_description>
    <character>JUSTIN</character>
    <dialogue>They're taking my sisterJ</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Quickly he DUCKS UNDER a tripod and dashes ONTO the STAGE.</scene_description>
    <character>KAREN</character>
    <dialogue>Justin!</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Gil and Karen attempt to FOLLOW him, but the tripod BLOCKS the aisle. They try to move it, but the PHOTOGRAPHERS are packed in too tightly. Justin is up on stage. He begins'SWINGING his little FISTS at the other dwarves while SCREAMING 'Bad, bad, bad." He starts butting the dwarves.</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>Justin1</dialogue>
    <character>JUSTIN</character>
    <dialogue>I'm saving Taylor.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The TEACHER hurries over and attempts to subdue him. He RUNS away. She CHASES. He's running around the dwarves. He causes one dwarf to BUMP another. The bumpee, SHOVES back. Soon there's more shoving. The teacher grabs Justin, who SWINGS WILDLY at her. Taylor, rushing to his aid, begins to pull on the teacher's arms.</scene_description>
    <character>TAYLOR</character>
    <dialogue>Let him gol</dialogue>
    <character>ANGLE ON BLAYLOCKS</character>
    <dialogue>KAREN</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Taylor, no honey. Kevin is LAUGHING. Gil looks STUNNED. He drops back into his seat. ANGLE ON STAGE While Taylor and Justin battle with the teacher, a full scale melee has broken out among the other dwarves. BEARDS and HATS are FLYING, kids are WRESTLING each other to the floor. A SECOND TEACHER, ignoring the melee, attempts to help the first teacher subdue Justin, who is still swinging his fists and SCREAMING. TB Karen SLUMPS DOWN next to Gil. She HIDES her FACE. Gil SMILES... then CHUCKLES... then LAUGHS... then bursts into HYSTERICS. While chaos reigns, Gil is now laughing so hard he's CRYING. Karen cracks up. Both of them and Kevin are ' laughing uncontrollably. Gil can't catch his breath. He looks at Karen through wet eyes. They both keep laughing. Gil mUBS> ms Karen's TUMMY. ^</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. DELIVERY ROOM -DAY</stage_direction>
    <scene_description>A DOCTOR HOLDS UP a CRYING new-born BABY. WE CAN'T SEE the mother or father.</scene_description>
    <character>DOCTOR</character>
    <dialogue>It's a girl.</dialogue>
    <character>NURSE</character>
    <dialogue>You'd better go out in the lobby, Dad, you've got about a hundred relatives out there.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>118 INT. CORRIDOR - DAY u< WE SEE a MAN from BEHIND. He's in a hospital GOWN, CAP, and MASK. He hurries through double doors from the delivery area into the lobby area.</scene_description>
  </scene>
  <scene>
    <stage_direction>INT. LOBBY - DAY</stage_direction>
    <character>ANGLE ON THE FAMILY</character>
    <dialogue>WE DON'T SEE them all at once. WE PAN. They all look UP expectantly. We START ON Frank and Marilyn. They're with Cool. NOTE: All the children look about a year older. WE PAN TO Grandma. Then to Gil with Justin. Then Kevin and Taylor. Then Karen with a BABY in her arms. Then Nathan and Patty, then Susan who is nine months PREGNANT. Then Garry, then Tod HOLDING a BABY, then Julie.</dialogue>
    <character>JULIE</character>
    <dialogue>Well?</dialogue>
    <character>ANGLE ON THE MAN IN THE HOSPITAL GOWN</character>
    <dialogue>He TAKES OFF his MASK. It's George Boyer.</dialogue>
    <character>GEORGE</character>
    <parenthetical>(excited)</parenthetical>
    <dialogue>It's a girl. Helen's fine.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>The family erupts DELIGHTED. Gil turns to Grandma</scene_description>
    <character>GIL</character>
    <dialogue>You're next, Grandma.</dialogue>
    <scene_description>Grandma shoots him a look.</scene_description>
    <character>CUT TO BLACK</character>
  </scene>
</script>

Summary: Gil Buckman, a St. Louis sales executive, is trying to balance his family and his career. When he finds out that his eldest son, Kevin, has emotional problems and needs therapy and that his two younger children, Taylor and Justin, both have issues as well, he begins to blame himself and questions his abilities as a father. When his wife, Karen, becomes pregnant with their fourth child, he is unsure whether he can handle it. Gil is also frustrated and fearful that the financial burdens of another child and office politics at work are turning him into the detached workaholic he despised in his own father, Frank. Humbled by family and work issues, Gil opens up to Frank about his doubts as a parent. Frank tells him that he worries too much, and they have a reconciliation of sorts with Frank telling Gil that worry for one's children never ends. Gil is finally able to accept the life he has chosen after his elderly grandmother tells him the story of her first experience riding a roller coaster when she was young and was amazed at all of the different emotions, she experienced compared to the merry-go-round which was simple and bland. Gil's older sister, Helen, is a divorced bank manager whose wealthy, good-for-nothing dentist ex-husband wants nothing to do with their kids, Garry and Julie, aside from small child support payments and spends more time with his own second family. Garry, who has just entered puberty, is quiet and withdrawn and likes to be alone in his room with a mysterious paper bag. At first, Helen worries that it contains drugs or alcohol, but later finds it actually contains pornography. Julie is still in high school but is not interested in her education. She and her boyfriend, Tod Higgins, get married, she becomes pregnant, and Tod moves into Helen's house. Helen asks Tod to talk with Garry believing he would be more comfortable confiding to another male. Tod reassures Garry that his obsession with girls and sex is normal for a boy his age, to Garry's relief. This also increases Helen's respect for Tod, especially when Tod reveals his own past involving his abusive father and his determination not to follow the same path. Eventually, she supports Tod and Julie's relationship to the extent that when Julie wants to break up with Tod, Helen orders her to face her fears and work on their relationship. Helen also starts dating Garry's science teacher, giving Garry a father figure he has long been without. Gil and Helen's younger sister, Susan, is a middle school teacher married to scientist and researcher Nathan Huffner. They have a precocious daughter, Patty. Susan wants more children, but Nathan is more interested in Patty's cognitive development. Susan lashes out by eating junk food and compromises her diaphragm as a plan to get pregnant against Nathan's wishes. She eventually gets so frustrated that she leaves Nathan, who eventually comes to one of her classes and serenades her to win her back promising her he will try to change. She agrees to move back home. The youngest, Larry, is the black sheep of the family but is Frank's favorite. Rather than settle into a career, he has drifted through life trying to cash in on get-rich-quick schemes. He has recently shown up along with his biracial son, Cool (the result of a brief affair with a Las Vegas showgirl), asking to borrow money from Frank. It soon becomes apparent that he needs it to pay off gambling debts ($26,000 worth, equivalent to $64,000 in 2023) or he will be killed. Frank is disillusioned but still loves him and tries to help. Frank refuses to bail him out completely but offers to teach him the family business so he can take over for Frank who has to put off retirement to pay off the debt. However, Larry instead suggests another get-rich-quick scheme which involves him going to Chile. Frank agrees to look after Cool knowing that Larry will most likely never return, and the fact that Larry will not take care of Cool. The family is reunited at the hospital when Helen gives birth to a daughter. Frank holds Cool who is shown to have been fully embraced by the family and thriving. Tod and Julie are together, raising their son. Susan is visibly pregnant. Gil and Karen are now the parents of four.