f7e649ad_of_11___sorted_by__date_added___review
[0] checkbox [#] position [cover] cover [title] title Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind [author] author Neff, Kristin [isbn] isbn 0061733512 [isbn13] isbn13 9780061733512 [asin] asin [num pages] num pages 320 pp [avg rating] avg rating 4.10 [num ratings] num ratings 1,472 [date pub] date pub Apr 19, 2011 [date pub (ed.)] date pub edition Apr 19, 2011 [rating] Thomas's rating 5 of 5 stars [my rating] my rating 1 of 5 stars2 of 5 stars3 of 5 stars4 of 5 stars5 of 5 stars add to shelves [notes] notes Notes are private! [recommender] recommender none [comments] comments 7 [votes] votes 26 [read count] # times read 1 [date started] date started May 12, 2015 [date read] date read May 18, 2015 [date added] date added May 10, 2015 [date purchased] date purchased [owned] owned [purchase location] purchase location [condition] condition [format] format Hardcover [29] actions view (with text) [review] 
review I turn 20 in a week, and I could not have read this book at a better time. Having been raised in an abusive household, I always strive to live with ki I turn 20 in a week, and I could not have read this book at a better time. Having been raised in an abusive household, I always strive to live with kindness, understanding, and compassion in order to break free from my childhood. Kristin Neff's Self-Compassion has taught me many valuable lessons, including what specific behaviors and thoughts comprise compassion, as well as how to apply those principles to myself - one of the hardest things I have had to do in my life. A quote that shows Neff's three tenets of self-compassion: "As I've defined it, self-compassion entails three core components. First, it requires self-kindness, that we be gentle and understanding with ourselves rather than harshly critical and judgmental. Second, it requires recognition of our common humanity, feeling connected with others in the experience of life rather than feeling isolated and alienated by our suffering. Third, it requires mindfulness - that we hold our experience in balanced awareness, rather than ignoring our pain or exaggerating it. We must achieve and combine these three essential elements in order to be truly self-compassionate." Oftentimes we take the idea of being kind to ourselves with a grain of salt. We nod our heads when people tell us about the perks of positivity, and we smile and listen to our friends when they need help, and because of society's pressure to achieve a lot and express so little, we lose touch with our internal selves. Neff's book offers practical suggestions to increase self-compassion that transcend mere self-esteem enhancers or ineffective tricks. She delves into the specific ways self-compassion can aid in our own happiness, our relationships with family and significant others, and our general interactions with the world around us. Neff strengthens her argument by citing many studies, and she draws upon several facets of psychology - social comparison, Maslow's hierarchy of needs, group identity, and much more - to add cohesion to her ideas. One of my favorite quotes about why we need to accept our thoughts and feelings: "Thoughts and feelings arise based on our history, our past experiences and associations, our hardwiring, our hormonal cycle, our physical comfort level, our cultural conditioning, our previous thoughts and feelings, and numerous other factors. As discussed in the last chapter, there are untold prior causes and conditions that have come together to produce our current mental and emotional experience - conditions beyond our conscious choosing. We can't control which thoughts and emotions pass through the gates of awareness and which ones do not. If our particular thoughts and feelings aren't healthy, we can't make these mental experiences go away. However, we can change the way we relate to them." One of my favorite books of all-time and perhaps my top read of 2015 so far. Recommended to anyone who has had to deal with an internal self-critical voice, as well as to those who want to augment their self-compassion for any reason at all. In my opinion, Self-Compassion serves as the ideal self-help book: it blends original insight, personal experience, research and previous work in the field, and it relays its message in a respectful and easy-to-comprehend way. 5 stars without a doubt. ...more
Thomas's bookshelf: favorites (showing 1-11 of 11) (sorted by: date added)