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Calling all conscious achievers who are seeking more community and connection, I ve got an invitation for you.
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Join me at this year s Summit of Greatness this September 7th through 9th in my hometown of Columbus, Ohio to unleash your true greatness.
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This is the one time a year
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that I gather the greatness community together in person for a powerful, transformative weekend.
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People come from all over the world, and you can expect to hear from inspiring speakers like Inky Johnson, Jaspreet Singh, Vanessa Van Edwards, Jen Cinchero, and many more.
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You ll also be able to dance your heart out to live music, get your body moving with group workouts, and connect with others at our evening socials.
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So if you re ready to learn, heal, and grow alongside other incredible individuals in the greatness community, then you can learn more at lewishouse.com slash summit 2023.
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Make sure to grab your ticket, invite your friends, and I ll see you there.
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I think social media has changed so many things for the better but also for the worse.
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I think this constant culture of like comparison going on with like young individuals and it s not it s not really a good way to to view life constantly comparing yourself and I think
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Welcome to the School of Greatness.
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My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur.
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And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness.
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Thanks for spending some time with me today.
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Now let the class begin.
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So three years in the making, we met two blocks away from here, about three years ago, as you were on the rise to your social media, TikTok, internet, sensational fame that you ve been on, I think.
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What do you have, close to 40 or 50 million followers now on all your platforms?
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But three years ago, you kind of
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Who s counting?
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Yeah, something like that.
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We lost count a while ago.
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But back then, you were just kind of taken off month by month, just like doubling.
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Yeah.
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And came out of nowhere.
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You were, I remember seeing videos of you as this, you know, D1 soccer kid, right?
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Who was like 19.
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And then all of a sudden COVID hits and you have nothing to do.
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You re kind of like, what do I do with my time?
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School year gets cut short.
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Soccer season gets cut short.
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You had one dream going towards, I m assuming soccer and trying to play professionally.
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And then you started making TikTok videos for fun as a little side thing.
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And in one month, I think you said you got your first million followers.
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Is that right?
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Around that.
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Yeah.
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Something like that.
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Yeah.
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And then all of a sudden, when did you realize that, oh,
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Maybe this soccer dream that I had for probably a decade isn t the main thing anymore, or maybe school isn t even the main thing, but I m going to start trying this other thing.
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When did you realize this is a new possibility for you?
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I would say when I think the opportunities became just too good to pass up.
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I think when the numbers started to grow, when emails started to come in, my email was attached on my TikTok, and I started getting emails that I couldn t even believe with numbers that I d never seen before.
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Like financial opportunities, like sponsorship deals, brand deals.
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Yep, all of those.
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And as a NCAA Division I athlete at that time... You couldn t make money.
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Couldn t make money.
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And I talked to the Dean about it and everything, like I went to the University of Portland and I literally told my coach, I was like, hey coach, I have a question.
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Who can you put me in contact with?
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I have some questions regarding like NCAA and the rules, because I know you re allowed to have, as a D1 athlete, you re allowed to have like a job if I was like a barista somewhere or something like that.
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Like minimum wage.
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Right.
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But you re not allowed to make money off the likeness of your name.
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And although I wasn t selling jerseys or autographs or whatever, they still, I had a long talk with my dean about it and I was like, look, making videos, you know, has nothing to do, like I post some soccer content, but like for the most part, people don t even know I play.
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And so, so I m like, is there something we can do here?
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Cause I m getting money thrown at me that I ve never seen before.
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And I was like a college student that had never really had work experience.
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I was like,
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please let me do this.
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And he was like, unfortunately, like it restricts NCA rules.
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And so that also kind of helped me make that decision.
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Isn t that crazy.
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But now, like just six months after that, I think NIL, uh, started, right?
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Like shortly, six months later, I was like, okay, now you can make money with your name and likeness.
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It was right before that the money was, I m assuming it was in the five, 10, $20,000 opportunities at that time early on, if not more.
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Yeah.
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And you re like, okay, one video to make this to pay for like a year of life.
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Right.
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It s hard to say no to.
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Hard to say no.
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And who knows what would have happened if you were able to make money as a college athlete.
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Do you think you would have still been playing?
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Well, that s the question, isn t it?
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I think, uh, there s so many things that played, that would have played a factor that I go back and I think, you know, what if, you know, what if he said, yeah, go ahead.
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Like do, do the sponsored posts, do brand deals.
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Like I don t care.
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Um, I don t think I ever would have stopped.
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I don t think there would have been that.
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You would have kept playing.
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I think I would have kept playing.
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And I think because,
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It was crazy, because I think my dad, my dad s like my biggest fan, and he s my biggest supporter, and he was my coach since I was three years old.
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And he coaches a local high school team, and so having a coach as a dad, I mean, it s ups and downs for sure.
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Sometimes the car rides home were not fun, but it s one of those things where he was hard on me for the better.
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And it just got to a point where he was like, if you re seriously considering
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quitting soccer like you don t even have to tell me like this is he knows my love for the game and he knows how passionate I was for it and I am for it he was like this must be
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something huge, because he s like, I ve never seen anything throw you off as much as this is.
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So I think he understood like the magnitude of the opportunities I was given.
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And obviously he said that he didn t even really need to know.
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But of course, my mom and dad were still kind of hands on with being like, you know, talking to the right people, looking things up.
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And I give them as much info as I could.
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But for the most part, I didn t even know what was going on.
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I was like, I don t know this brand, but they re offering to pay me like,
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So it was pretty nuts, I can t lie.
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And I think there are so many what ifs.
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Really?
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Yeah, if the NIL would have been a thing six months prior.
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That s crazy.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but here we are.
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I think life puts us in different directions at different moments.
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I got injured playing football, I was telling you, before you jumped on camera.
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And that was the dream, that was a passion.
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So for a year and a half, I was recovering from a surgery and an injury.
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And I didn t know what was going to happen next, but I wouldn t be here.
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I wouldn t have done this show for the last 10 years had that injury not happened.
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I would have kept pursuing the same thing.
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And who knows, maybe it would have been a great run.
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Maybe I d have broken my neck or something.
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You never know what would happen.
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So you might ve been redirected for something greater.
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Right.
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Which is interesting.
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And that s why I can t help but kind of frame my mindset as I m like, this happened for a reason.
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So I m just going to, you know, do, I mean, as athletes, I feel like growing up as athletes, I think I was telling you before the cameras were on, it s just kind of how we re programmed with being so structured and disciplined and being like,
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All right, if I m gonna do this, I have a new, I got a new job.
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It s like having a new coach.
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You wanna impress the new coach.
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And so every time I would do something new in the entertainment industry, in this space, I was like, I m gonna give it the best I can.
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And I m gonna try to really throw myself in and what s the worst that can happen?
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You fail.
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It s like.
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What was the biggest?
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challenge over the last three years for you with getting so much popularity and I guess social media following and fame in a time of extreme cancel culture and a time of extreme celebrating individuals and cheering for people, but then also criticizing them and these kind of two extremes.
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Yeah, of course.
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Let me follow you, comment on everything, celebrate you and talk about you in a positive way.
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but then when I don t like something, let me criticize you, let me pull you down, and let me shame you publicly.
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How, at 19, and now 22, have you navigated that process?
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Yeah, I think you hit it right on the nose.
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It s one of those things where it is just such a flaky industry, and it s such a, you know, at one moment you re on top of the world, and the next moment, like, you can breathe the wrong way, and someone s got something to say, and I think
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in the world we live in now and with the social media, I think social media has changed so many things for the better but also for the worse.
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I think this constant culture of like comparison going on with like young individuals and it s not, it s not really a good way to view life, constantly comparing yourself.
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And I think, I don t know, I, yeah, when I first started people
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At first nothing bad to say, you know as I m gaining traction and Numbers kept rising people were like my god, that s like, you know, this guy s amazing Let s keep him hidden like don t let him blow up too much like that kind of thing.
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Let s keep him hidden Like that s kind of a thing.
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Let s keep him our secret.
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Like really?
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Yeah, because I think you re not a secret of 10 million followers
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No, not at that point.
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I think when it was just before the millions, people were like, where are these guys coming from?
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They keep spawning.
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And it s like, I just made an account, as simple as that.
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And I think, I don t know, when someone feels a part of something small, it feels a bit more intimate.
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it s funny that that is being said though because I have like a Have like my og fans that have been there since the early days since like 10 20,000 followers that you recognize still leave that I still to this day like, you know, I m in group chats with them on Instagram I ll chime in here and there and just be like, hey guys, hope you re all well like it s it s really fun having a community like that and like knowing that that
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10, 30 seconds out of your day to stop and do a group chat and be like, hey guys, I hope you all are well, like not forgetting about you.
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I think that can really like, it s crazy that that can make someone s day.
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And yeah, with cancel culture, it s one of those things where
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You kinda, I don t know, I don t, I like to think I don t really have any skeletons in the closet, you know?
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So I m just kinda like, I m able to be authentically myself, and if you like me, follow me, and let s go on this journey together.
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But if not, I m not gonna lose sleep over it.
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If you don t like me, that s fine, but.
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But how do you deal with, maybe not cancel culture for you, because you don t have a skeletons, but a criticism culture.
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Of course.
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make wrong or just like comparison.
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Yeah.
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Comparison and criticism culture where, okay, you were the, and still are, but you were three years ago, kind of the newer person coming out and creating content.
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And now there s newer people doing that.
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Exactly.
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Younger or more defined abs or whatever.
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Exactly.
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Longer hair.
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Of course.
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Yeah.
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And how do you not let your self-worth be defined by criticism or comparison at such a young age?
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It s hard.
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It really is, and I can t lie.
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I think... I can t sit here and say it hasn t affected me.
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You know, there have been times where, you know, the likes are down, the engagement s low, you know, and as much as I don t want to ever look at that, like, it s your job, you know, and it comes to a point where you kind of have to look at that and see what people are saying and seeing, like, what they want to see, and you can either choose to do two things.
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You can give the people what they want, or you can just keep posting stuff that you like,
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And I think, I saw or read this quote the other day, it was about, I don t know if I m going to say it correctly, but it was basically something about like, the work s never as good when you start to cater to other people.
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But as soon as you start doing it for yourself, then it s a lot more like, people can see right through the authenticity.
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I don t know, I think that s just what I ve kind of always kind of stayed, stayed firm to is the belief of just being myself and just posting stuff that I want to post and like I m very, very blessed and like grateful to have like the fan base that I have and people that support me the way that they do because at the end of the day like
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there are people that will do just about anything for a like or a click and I m just grateful that I have people that will click no matter what like if I put out something but that being said I m never gonna take advantage of that and I m never gonna like take that for granted and I m always gonna try to put out my best stuff and yeah, but I think going back to what I was saying with like
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it is a very, you know, one moment you re on top of the world, the next moment you re nothing, and then all of a sudden you have a big project coming out, and bam, you re back on top.
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And it s just like, I m very aware of that, and I would tire myself out if I constantly tried to be at the top, and constantly tried to do things that would make sure that I m at the top, stay people talking.
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I enjoy the time when people aren t talking, you know?
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I think so.
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I mean, here s the thing.
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You ve got 50 million followers, so it s not like you re not relevant.
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Right.
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But what do you mean, like, being on top versus... Of course, yeah.
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Your bottom is like 5 million views versus on a post as opposed to 100 million views.
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Right.
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where that would be someone s dream.
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Exactly.
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It s funny that you mentioned that, because I was having a conversation the other day with some of my friends, and we were talking about who are also kind of influencers in the space.
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And they were kind of talking about the idea that, you know, it s the constant thing of, you know, the algorithms changed, you know, views aren t the same anymore.
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Like back in 2020, like prime time with like when I had just, you know, entered the house with the Sway Boys and like,
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I could post a video of me staring at the camera for five seconds and it would probably do 20 million come on and it was like I think we took that for granted like I think we really
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It s hard not to be spoiled to that.
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It s hard not to like see that and be like, oh, anything less than this.
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It s like, am I falling off?
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You know, it s like, you re one of those things.
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Cause I like the content that I m putting out now way more than what I was putting out back then, you know?
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But like I said, there s an audience for everything.
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And so I think the stuff that I put out now is definitely more authentic to who I am and more like catered to a specific audience.
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Whereas back then it was just like,
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Alright, anyone who wants to make a video, let s do it.
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Let s dance, let s have our shirts off.
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It s gonna do well at the end of the day.
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It was funny because we were talking and we were like, if you really put it into perspective, our least viewed video is someone who s just starting his dream.
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It s hard to kind of zoom out of that.
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Like when you take yourself out of your shoes and really zoom out and see for what it is, it s pretty insane how spoiled we were back then with all those views.
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And still to this day, like we were talking about before the cameras turned on, I just think I joined at a perfect time where COVID hit and everyone was all of a sudden like, what do we do?
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I m just gonna go on my phone and scroll, you know?
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Like TikTok blew up at that time and
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being the new up-and-comer, it was definitely a weird feeling, because it wasn t until a few months after I started gaining followers, I didn t think it was anything more than just numbers on a screen.
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And then my first time going out after the pandemic, going out, meaning I went on vacation with my family in California.
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People recognized you.
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People recognized me.
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Came up to you.
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You re that guy from TikTok.
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You re Noah Beck.
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And I was just like,
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Yep.
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I was in a dorm room like three months ago, you know, like training for soccer.
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And this is definitely, and my parents, like my parents knew about like the numbers and like, but they thought the same thing.
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They were just like, oh, that s cool.
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You know, like we don t know where these millions of numbers are coming from.
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Like it could be wherever.
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And so when you first kind of get, like start getting spotted, my parents were like, what?
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Like, it was just a new thing to all of us.
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And I was crazy.
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It was truly a surreal feeling.
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Now, how do you manage your ego and not let it get to your head so much as a, you know, 22 year old heartthrob, you know, athlete, social media sensation?
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How do you, or maybe you haven t figured that out yet.
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How do you keep a good heart, a kind soul, uh, and still be compassionate towards humanity?
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Right.
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What with all the success, the fame and you know, 16 year old girls running after you everywhere you go.
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Yeah.
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Uh, it s, it s flattering for sure.
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And it s definitely got me blushing, but like, uh, it s one of those things where.
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I think, again, like we were talking about before, the people that I have chosen to surround myself with in my personal life have really helped manage that.
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And like I said, I just don t think that s how I am as a person anyway.
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I give a big shout out to my parents for raising me, I think, in the right way.
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And I owe everything to them.
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Yeah, I don t know.
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I just, I know that I have, you know, I ve always been confident in who I am and I ve never really struggled with like confidence, but at the same time I m human and I have my insecurities, but I think
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I don t know.
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I think, yeah, the people I surround myself with, like we were talking about, it s hard to find here in LA with how transactional the city can be, how everyone wants something from you.
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SPEAKER_00
Everyone wants something.
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SPEAKER_00
Why are you being nice to me?
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SPEAKER_00
Like, why did, like, you know, all these questions before that are just kind of like unsaid.
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SPEAKER_00
But yeah, so I m still very much a family man and my parents and my sisters definitely keep me humble.
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Uh, my friends, uh, that I grew up with playing soccer from Arizona are still like my best friends to this day.
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And we re all kind of off doing our own thing, which is amazing, but we connect somehow, whether it s through like playing Xbox together or even just like, you know, in a group chat, just checking on each other.
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SPEAKER_01
But you mentioned insecurities though.
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Do you have insecurities because you, you seem like such a positive, you know, always smiling, happy guy fit.
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millions of followers, making money, Paris Fashion Week and all over the place.
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Yeah.
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You re the guy.
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How can you have insecurities?
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And if you have them, what are they?
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Yeah.
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I think, uh, uh, yeah, I don t know.
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I think I m human at me.
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You know, I know I m human.
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Um, I think, uh, I look, I know I m human.
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And I think, uh, what is that insecurity for you?
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For me?
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Yeah.
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It just changes every day.
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You know, I ve, I have, I think when I look into the mirror, I see things and I m just like, you know, you can t help but think like when you, especially the comparison, you know, it goes back to that.
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It s like, or when I m on TikTok, I ll be like, you know, this guy, this guy s just better looking or whatever it may be like, yeah, of course.
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But it s like, I sound shallow.
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I think I m also just like insecure about sometimes the, I don t know, just kind of the way
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I don t know, you know, I m trying to think.
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Is it a feeling of like, you re not enough, you re not talented enough, you re not smart enough, you re not good looking enough, you re not as experienced enough, you re, you know...
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SPEAKER_00
Well, TikTok gave me this, so do I really deserve it?
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SPEAKER_00
Okay.
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SPEAKER_00
What is the- Yeah, you got the wheels turning.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
What is the- 100%.
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And this is a thing that my team gets mad at me for.
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My managers, my agents, they re all like, get out of your head.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I think going back to being raised as an athlete and kind of having that background,
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, if you want to win a game, you work your ass off and you win the game.
2
SPEAKER_01
Or if you want to get better, you train and you work harder at it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Whereas in this industry, I haven t, I felt like I haven t done enough to be in some of the rooms that I ve really found myself.
2
SPEAKER_01
For sure, and I think it may be one of those things where it s just the world working in weird ways where all my training as an athlete growing up has led to this in a weird way.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s rewarded me in a different way that I never thought would translate.
2
SPEAKER_01
There are definitely rooms that I find myself in, events that I find myself at, and I m like, why am I here?
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, there are world-class athletes, there are amazing artists, there are, you know, every vertical.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I see myself and I m like, I just don t think I ve done enough yet.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I think that definitely is probably one of the biggest insecurities of mine is that feeling like I earned it or the feeling that I deserve this.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I think
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, like that definitely got the wheels turning.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think that is probably the biggest one that I ve kind of have faced.
2
SPEAKER_00
How often do you think about that?
2
SPEAKER_00
Like, did I really earn this?
2
SPEAKER_00
Do I deserve to be at all these big events or with these, you know, celebrities or with these talented artists or talented athletes who put in their whole life to create this career?
2
SPEAKER_00
Right.
2
SPEAKER_00
Is that a weekly thing?
2
SPEAKER_00
Is that daily?
2
SPEAKER_00
Is that like just kind of when you re at the events, you re like, okay, why am I here?
2
SPEAKER_01
I think it s just about every time that I get an opportunity that kind of makes me reconsider everything.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like whether it s a, you know, a big endorsement deal, whether it s a big brand sponsorship that I get or whether it s, you know, fashion week, I m sitting front row next to who knows who, you know, exactly.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s like,
2
SPEAKER_01
I think it happens just about every single time because I know that they re sitting or it s just in my head and maybe they re not, but in my head, they re thinking like, why am I sat next to this guy?
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, this little TikToker and it s like, that s what you think they re thinking.
2
SPEAKER_01
Of course.
2
SPEAKER_01
And that s just me, like self sabotaging, if you will.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I think, uh, so you feel like an imposter.
2
SPEAKER_01
Of course, which is not good.
2
SPEAKER_01
And like my team gets mad at me for it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Cause they re like,
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know, because then it s one of those things where I almost enjoy that feeling.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t enjoy the feeling, but I would rather have that mindset than feeling like I m entitled to be sat here.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like you re sitting next to me, you know, like I was not like right which I am very well aware that there are people out there that may have that mentality and it s like Go like I applaud the confidence.
2
SPEAKER_01
Um, but I I don t think I would I think I would rather take the you know, I haven t quite earned it yet So i m gonna continue to work until I do feel like I earn it I just don t know if i ll ever Like I think it s something within me that I don t think
2
SPEAKER_01
if i continue to chase that i might just tire myself out because i don t ever want to have that entitlement attitude of being like
2
SPEAKER_01
But I think there s a fine line between like the gratitude and being like, I earned this, you know, I worked my ass off for this and I deserve to be here or I deserve this opportunity.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so that s where I m always kind of split in between minds of, uh, do I deserve this or should I just be grateful for it?
2
SPEAKER_01
And I m always grateful, but there are times where of course, like I m insecure and I m like, you know, it should have been this guy or really?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Are there any other insecurities or feelings of being an imposter besides that, that you experience?
2
SPEAKER_00
Nothing really like jumps to mind, but I m sure that there are.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s the main thing though.
2
SPEAKER_01
Right.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think that s the main thing in terms of like feeling like an imposter.
2
SPEAKER_00
Every time I see one of your photos or a video or a post of yours, you re pretty much smiling.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
This whole time you re smiling.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
You seem like a very happy guy.
2
SPEAKER_00
This is obviously the first time we ve connected really in person in a meaningful way, but you seem to be a very happy kid.
2
SPEAKER_00
You seem to be youngest of three.
2
SPEAKER_00
You have good parents.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know, two older sisters who really supported you and probably, like my older sisters, told you how to treat women.
2
SPEAKER_00
Told you how to be respectful, like they did with me.
2
SPEAKER_00
But is there ever any moments where you are sad?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I think, uh...
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_01
I, uh, I think growing up in a female dominated household, it was, uh, it taught me a lot about women and, you know, they gave me a lot of lessons about how to treat, you know, and I ve had a lot of people in my life tell me how evident it is that I ve had that sibling, like that sister upbringing and
2
SPEAKER_01
I take that as a compliment and I love that I have that respect and that I know that my mom has given me everything and my dad has as well, don t get me wrong, but I think I have a certain appreciation for what women do.
2
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, going back to it, I think, well, of course I get sad.
2
SPEAKER_00
Of course.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I think- It seems like you re always happy.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
You got everything going for you.
2
SPEAKER_00
How could Noah Beck be sad?
2
SPEAKER_01
I think that s, you know, it s weird with TikTok and with anything social media, anything on my phone, you know, the moment I start to, I bet it s listening right now, it s crazy.
2
SPEAKER_01
It takes you down this rabbit hole of like,
2
SPEAKER_01
I ll mention to a friend of mine, like, hey, I m not feeling my best today, I m sad about this, that, then all of a sudden, I ll go on my For You page later, and it s about sadcore TikTok, and it s making me even sadder.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, man.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it really sucks, because I m like, I don t want to see this right now, I want to see funny videos, or something that ll... But at the end of the day,
2
SPEAKER_01
you know, I read or I ll see often, um, you know, the people that are the happiest, you know, like checking on them, you know, cause it may be a blanket or it may be something.
2
SPEAKER_01
And, uh, I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t think I ve definitely, definitely get sad.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I, but I think it s one of those things where I try,
2
SPEAKER_01
And I had a therapist once tell me this, and I think it really helped me.
2
SPEAKER_01
I try to like, not enjoy, obviously, that s the wrong word for it, but I try to appreciate the times where I feel sad, because that s what makes you human.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I m glad that I have those feelings, because if I wasn t, then I would be a robot.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I know people that are pretty numb to, like, I know people that,
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_01
I like how in touch I am with my emotion, and I am not afraid to tell people.
2
SPEAKER_01
If I get sad, I m not afraid to reach out, but there are definitely times where I have been, and I m getting better with it, but I think there have been times where I ve kind of, you know, it s the classic, like, I m fine, I m fine, you know?
2
SPEAKER_01
And it s like, that s when I want someone to tell me.
2
SPEAKER_00
But you re really not.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s when I want someone to be like, just be there with me, you know?
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, I know
2
SPEAKER_01
Cause I ve had friends that, you know, needed the same.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I always want to think that I ve tried to think that I m a very compassionate person.
2
SPEAKER_01
I try to be empathetic.
2
SPEAKER_00
You ve got a compassionate heart.
2
SPEAKER_00
I can feel it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
2
SPEAKER_01
And, and I try and that s something I work out a lot and I don t ever want to let that go.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I, um, I ve had times where like I can see like close friends, you know, something s off and then,
2
SPEAKER_01
I just would want to give them what I would want in that moment.
2
SPEAKER_01
And everyone s different, so it s like they may react to it differently, but I know at the end of the day, it s easier or it would be better if I was there for them than if I was not, despite whether they want it or not.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t know, but what I get sad about, it s so many things, but I think recently, what we were talking a bit about off camera, and what I have no problem talking about, is we re all human.
3
SPEAKER_00
We all have relationships with other humans, interactions.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think that was one of the things that I ve probably been most sad about, really.
3
SPEAKER_01
Really?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, to give the context of this, when I first heard about you, you were blowing up on social media.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then I started seeing you in a relationship on social media.
3
SPEAKER_01
And this is something that I think is, there s some pros and cons to being in a relationship publicly, especially in a social media world.
3
SPEAKER_01
What has been the best part about being in a relationship publicly on social media with someone who s also growing in their own inspiring ways?
3
SPEAKER_01
And what has been the most challenging part about that experience in relationship on social media?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think the best part was
3
SPEAKER_00
that we were there for each other and that we understood how one another were feeling when something, like, it wasn t a completely new world.
3
SPEAKER_00
I didn t have to explain to my partner, you know, this is how I m feeling.
3
SPEAKER_00
And them being like, well, I don t understand because I can t even imagine, you know, and
3
SPEAKER_00
it was kind of just like an unsaid thing that we both just kind of understood, like, hey, if you were getting, if something were to happen and they were getting hate online, whether, you know, even though it blows off in a day or two, like, there would just be times where I m like, look, I know I m here telling you not to look at it.
3
SPEAKER_00
I can t be naive and be like, you know, I understand.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, I m like, I get it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, seeing it, despite whether it gets to you or not,
3
SPEAKER_00
I can only imagine like, cause when it happens to me, like when they re, whether it s like a controversy, like, I don t know, I haven t been in anything like crazy, thank God and knock on wood.
3
SPEAKER_00
Cause like, like I said, it s one of those things where I just am myself.
3
SPEAKER_00
So if I, if I ever, I don t know, like I have nothing really to hide.
3
SPEAKER_00
So thankfully, and, but there were times when just something would happen and you know, she would get comments that were not very nice and I m just like,
3
SPEAKER_00
It s not like a totally oblivious thing where if I was dating someone else that wasn t in the industry they would be like, just don t look at it, you re fine.
3
SPEAKER_00
I get it and I think that was one of the best parts of the relationship was knowing that
3
SPEAKER_00
We just, we were in it together, and we both just understood.
3
SPEAKER_00
We both had this unspoken, like, yeah, we just kinda just got each other, in a sense.
3
SPEAKER_01
And the biggest challenge about being in a public position.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think the biggest challenge was... Especially as a 20-year-old.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, and really your first deeply intimate, you know, kind of relationship is what it sounds like.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
I think that, that right there was probably the hardest part was, uh, it kind of us just figuring this out together and despite, I don t know, she, she had moved out to LA a few months before I did.
3
SPEAKER_00
And when I came out to LA, like,
3
SPEAKER_00
We kind of hit it off very quickly.
3
SPEAKER_00
We started off as like really good friends.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I was just like, I just really like being around this girl.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then, you know, one thing led to another and we re dating and then the word gets out.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so now we re in a public relationship at 19 and it s like.
3
SPEAKER_00
She was 19 as well at the same time, same age.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, same age.
3
SPEAKER_00
And, um, I think the biggest challenge was just like everyone having a say.
3
SPEAKER_00
Everyone, like you could have zero followers and your comment could blow up.
3
SPEAKER_00
And typically, with how social media is, and just how everything is, it s like, typically the things that go the most viral, or to get the most attention, are negative things.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know, it s never like, I love them so much together, like, people aren t gonna see that, and whatever.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, you know, it s like, or, on the latter, it s like, I hate them together, here s why, and it s like, that ll get more views.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t know, it s just, everyone having a say, despite,
3
SPEAKER_00
who you are, where you re from, what you know about us.
3
SPEAKER_00
I think everyone has a voice.
3
SPEAKER_00
Everyone s in the relationship at that point.
3
SPEAKER_00
And that was very tricky because we were figuring this world out.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re figuring life out.
3
SPEAKER_00
Right.
3
SPEAKER_00
We re human.
3
SPEAKER_00
We re 19 years old.
3
SPEAKER_00
We re human and no one ever has it figured out.
3
SPEAKER_00
But at 19, you really don t have it figured out.
3
SPEAKER_00
I think I m very grateful for everything that I have to this day, but like, I m still figuring it out.
3
SPEAKER_00
I still don t know what I want to do.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m still like, it is not all sunshines and rainbows.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I think, I think that s just part of being human.
3
SPEAKER_00
And yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
What made you most sad about the experience?
3
SPEAKER_00
The ending of it.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I think,
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think just having someone in your life, like having that support system and someone that knows every little thing about you.
3
SPEAKER_00
Literally, like, and I don t know, we just such a weird time.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like it was something that not many people can relate to.
3
SPEAKER_00
And like, everyone has their first true love.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I, I, she was mine.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I think
3
SPEAKER_00
Everyone s experience is different, but I think the way ours trickled down was just so bizarre and so unique in terms of
3
SPEAKER_00
you know, you like a girl, you start dating her, you re 19 years old.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is a normal thing.
3
SPEAKER_00
You d be in college, you know, you re going to school, you re holding your bags, you know, you re doing that stuff.
3
SPEAKER_00
Whereas like this time it s like, Hey, like, do you want to hang out today?
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, no, I have a, I have a photo shoot or, you know, no, like I m shooting a music video or this, that, and it s like, or you re together every single day.
3
SPEAKER_00
And there s just so many like factors to it.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I think us,
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t know, I can go on and on about what makes a breakup hard, but at the end of the day, I think most people know what makes it hard.
3
SPEAKER_00
I think just our bond that we had was really tricky, and I think what was tricky to recover from, because it was so good.
3
SPEAKER_01
I remember seeing a video of you, I can t remember where, it must have been a year and a half ago, two years ago.
3
SPEAKER_01
Someone asked you a question, it might have been a vlog somewhere.
3
SPEAKER_01
Somehow this popped up on my TikTok or YouTube or something, and I saw it.
3
SPEAKER_01
where I remember hearing you say, someone asked you a question about, will you marry her?
3
SPEAKER_01
And you said, yes, like without a hesitation or would you like to marry her or if, you know, whatever it was, but they said something about, would you want to marry her?
3
SPEAKER_01
And you were just like, yes.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like straight on in their face, like no hesitation.
3
SPEAKER_01
So when you have that expectation, especially an intimacy in a relationship that then who knows what happens in the future, but then there s a breakup.
3
SPEAKER_01
How does that make you feel when you had that vision?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
I, uh, my mom always told me that I, I thought a lot with my heart and I m a very, I, I m a logical thinker as well, but I think when you re, when you re blinded by love, it s like, you know, that there s that hope.
3
SPEAKER_00
And like, I think what I had with her there, like I held onto any bit of hope really.
3
SPEAKER_00
And yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
And, um, I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_00
I wish.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t know, like I think, I love very, what s the word?
3
SPEAKER_00
I love hard.
3
SPEAKER_00
I love deeply and I love like, I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_00
I like dedicated a lot of my time to being the best boyfriend I could.
3
SPEAKER_00
And the bond was strong.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, the bond was strong.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s not like to toot my own horn or anything.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like I just, I m very confident in the way that
3
SPEAKER_00
we were together and you know things just it s life like things just don t last always and things aren t forever and I don t know I still have so much love for her and it s just one of those things where we both have stuff to figure out and we both have
3
SPEAKER_00
a lot of growing to do because I think us hopping into that relationship and us, not even relationship aside, I think us having the careers we do now has stunted a lot of things that would have, I don t know, like I think it s stunted a lot of things that like a normal 19 year old should have experienced.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like what?
3
SPEAKER_00
She never went to college, for example.
3
SPEAKER_00
So in school years, I was ahead of her one year.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I had a bit of a college experience, whereas she was going to go to Alabama and get that experience.
3
SPEAKER_00
She never had it.
3
SPEAKER_00
She never had it.
3
SPEAKER_00
She went right to Hollywood.
3
SPEAKER_00
Right to Hollywood.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s intense, man.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s intense.
3
SPEAKER_00
And it s really straight out of the movies.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s really one of those things where it s like, you moved to Hollywood, but in like,
4
SPEAKER_00
There was never that, it s just so different than what you see in the movies where you go out to Hollywood, you get a job as a waiter, and then you re going to auditions and you re trying to make it.
4
SPEAKER_00
We kind of moved out because we made it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Made it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
We moved out and we had the, the, like, I wouldn t have dropped my division one full ride scholarship.
4
SPEAKER_00
I wouldn t have dropped that for nothing.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like I had a guaranteed spot in this house, a guaranteed, like lots of talks with like the manager of the house.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it was like, we can promise you that you ll grow.
4
SPEAKER_00
We can promise you that we can provide this in like exposure.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I was just like, okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay, let s give it a shot.
4
SPEAKER_00
Soccer was on pause at the time, so it was one of those things.
4
SPEAKER_00
And when she moved out, they made it.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it s one of those things where, I don t know, it s crazy, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
If you could go back right before you moved here, right before you met her, and give yourself advice, three pieces of advice about entering a relationship with someone, whether it s her or anyone,
4
SPEAKER_01
Knowing what you know now, after a lot of highs, amazing connection, you know, a lot of love, a bond, but then, you know, a heartbreak and some sadness, what advice would you give to yourself at 19?
4
SPEAKER_00
I would, number one, I would say, protect yourself, protect your heart.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I think that is like something that I m very, it s guarded up now.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think, I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think, yeah, protecting yourself, uh, taking it slow.
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, we, we were 19, you know, we, we really liked hanging out with each other.
4
SPEAKER_00
So we were like, let s just, we might as well date, you know, it s one of those things.
4
SPEAKER_00
And so, and especially when COVID was happening, we were with each other every single day.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it was like, I think.
4
SPEAKER_00
you know, you re, when you re constantly available for someone that can be, that can be taken advantage of.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I think being less available in the future, not, not because I want to, I want to be there like every single day.
4
SPEAKER_00
I want like to drop anything at like
4
SPEAKER_00
The sound of the text, like, what are you doing?
4
SPEAKER_00
What do you want me to be doing?
4
SPEAKER_00
Just how I am.
4
SPEAKER_00
You re a lover.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I m a lover.
4
SPEAKER_00
I love love, but it s also what makes me the most sad sometimes.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I think that s...
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, if you give and give and give, and then there s maybe an unspoken expectation, or you would hope or wish someone wouldn t do the same for you.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I m not speculating anything here.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m just saying, when you re a giver, and you want to see someone happy, and you love the feeling of being with someone, and you feel happier together,
4
SPEAKER_01
it s really challenging when it doesn t work out.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I ve had many sad breakups that were painful and hard and challenging, but at the same time, taught me the most about how I can be a better person, how I can create better boundaries for myself.
4
SPEAKER_01
how I can, how I can courageously communicate consciously in better ways with, you know, the next partner I was with to, to make sure that I focus on my vision first and then bringing the relationship in second, as opposed to dropping everything always for the partner.
4
SPEAKER_01
There s a balance there, but.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Filling up your own cup.
4
SPEAKER_00
Filling up your own cup constantly.
4
SPEAKER_00
Having them fall in love with the overflow.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
That was like, I think,
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s one of the things she taught me and I think unintentionally she taught me to really protect myself.
4
SPEAKER_00
Really?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I fall hard and fast and I was, I don t know, everything just moved very quickly and then when you are a giver it s one of those things where you just
4
SPEAKER_00
so bad want to see him happy and then when you realize it s not you and when you realize or I don t even when you like I never fully realized that like that was the thing I was like no like I m not taking no for an answer I m gonna try my hardest to like make it work make it work you know and always gonna be available I m never gonna give her a reason to not be happy and then you realize it s
4
SPEAKER_00
When they constantly keep telling you, it s not you.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s the hardest thing because it s like, look, I know it s not me, but I know it s not me making you sad because I m doing everything I can to make you happy, but I m going to try to be the one to make you happy.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it s like, when they constantly tell you, there s nothing you can do, it s like,
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t want to take no for an answer.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t want to say, I don t want to accept the fact that I can t make my girlfriend happy.
4
SPEAKER_00
And that was probably the biggest thing that we ran into was- Man, I know that feeling.
4
SPEAKER_01
I see a lot of my self in you with that because as athletes, you don t want to fail.
4
SPEAKER_01
No.
4
SPEAKER_01
And you re like, well, I m going to do whatever it takes.
4
SPEAKER_01
We re going to make this work.
4
SPEAKER_01
Even if it s hurting me, I m going to do what it takes to make this work.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s crazy.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
I ve had so many people, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
And that is a painful,
4
SPEAKER_01
Uh, realization.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
When you re like, I m doing everything.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m, I m shifting.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m doing, I m changing who I am just so that it works and then it doesn t work.
4
SPEAKER_01
And you re like, wow, I just shifted my whole identity for a relationship that no longer doesn t work.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I did that too many times.
4
SPEAKER_01
I repeated that pattern in many relationships because partners I chose, for whatever reason, weren t happy with me.
4
SPEAKER_01
And they wanted me to change to try to make them happy and it never worked.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I finally realized, it took me until a few years ago, that I finally realized that
4
SPEAKER_01
You can t make your partner happy.
4
SPEAKER_01
You can add to their happiness, but they got to focus on their own happiness.
4
SPEAKER_01
If someone s a five out of a 10, you can t bring them to a nine consistently.
4
SPEAKER_01
I d be able to influence them to get to a six moments here and there and add to their happiness.
4
SPEAKER_01
But if they re not doing their life in a way that brings them joy and fulfillment,
4
SPEAKER_01
There s not much we can do.
4
SPEAKER_01
And that s a hard thing for athletes like us who want to win and want to succeed and want to accomplish.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s really hard, man.
4
SPEAKER_01
And the thing that I want to acknowledge you for, Noah, is being 22.
4
SPEAKER_01
And you mentioned talking to a therapist.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think I would have never at 22 talked to a therapist.
4
SPEAKER_01
I started 30, 10 years ago, talking to therapists.
4
SPEAKER_01
It was one of the best things that ever did for me.
4
SPEAKER_01
It helped me bring me so much peace.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s what s gotten me to a high eight, low nine of inner peace.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s having that place to process, having that place to learn new tools.
4
SPEAKER_01
So the fact that you re doing this at 22, I really commend you for that and acknowledge you for doing that because I think it s a powerful tool to use.
4
SPEAKER_01
Now, what advice would you give to yourself
4
SPEAKER_01
moving forward and navigating this next season?
4
SPEAKER_01
Because I know you re trying to figure out like, okay, well, who am I again?
4
SPEAKER_01
And, and, you know, you love deeply, but do you, do you even think it s, you know, worth getting into another relationship soon with someone?
4
SPEAKER_01
Or is it like, you want to give yourself space and time to kind of really focus on yourself and your career?
4
SPEAKER_01
What s, what s the advice you would give yourself?
4
SPEAKER_01
of this next chapter.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
I, uh, I think that s something I m like actively searching for is, uh,
4
SPEAKER_00
at the end of the day, like just doing what makes me happy and finding out what makes me happy is like, again, like a never ending search because it s like, yeah, this makes me happy in the moment.
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, like going to an amusement park, riding rides with like friends and stuff like that, like that makes me happy, but that s not something I can like apply to my everyday life that can make me more at peace with myself.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like, you know, so doing things, I don t know, like I, I really,
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think these past few months I ve really, like Corey was talking about before the camera, it s one of those things where when you end with someone on good terms, it s hard because it s like... You guys ended on good terms?
4
SPEAKER_00
On great terms.
4
SPEAKER_00
On great terms?
4
SPEAKER_00
Great terms.
4
SPEAKER_01
So it was like, you still cared, you still loved each other.
4
SPEAKER_00
But that makes it even harder because it s like, then it gets dragged out.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like, even though it was a year ago, it gets dragged out.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then it s like, you re still there for each other.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then, you know, you still want to tell your person every good thing that happened.
4
SPEAKER_00
You still want to tell them like, hey, this happened today.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like, and, you know, and I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then as soon as
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Um, so it wasn t like some blow up, but no, not at all away from me.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I hate you.
4
SPEAKER_00
Not at all.
4
SPEAKER_00
I love you so much, but we can t be together.
4
SPEAKER_00
We have to grow apart.
4
SPEAKER_00
We have to, gosh, that s the hardest, the hardest.
4
SPEAKER_00
And, um, that s why it s tricky now because you know, it comes to a point where I was telling you like where you almost, you wake up a bit confused sometimes.
4
SPEAKER_00
Cause I m like,
4
SPEAKER_00
I feel like I m good.
4
SPEAKER_00
I feel like I want to rekindle it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I want to give it another go.
5
SPEAKER_00
Ultimately, it s not up.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s not up to you when you when the other person s fully in control of The decision the decision and when the balls in their court me like when you re ready, just know that I m here It s a bit tricky.
5
SPEAKER_00
There s a bit of a power play.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s like I
5
SPEAKER_00
As much as I just want to wait around, because I do enjoy this person so much, and it s hard to imagine life without them sometimes, there is this, when you go no contact, you step away from it, and then a couple months go by and it s like,
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay, wow, I m feeling better.
5
SPEAKER_00
The first month is really hard feeling better.
5
SPEAKER_00
Then all of a sudden, all it takes is a text like, Hey, I miss you.
5
SPEAKER_01
Girls know what they re doing, man.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s so tricky.
5
SPEAKER_00
And a lot like you, I don t drink and I ve never drank in my life.
5
SPEAKER_00
I ve never done any drugs.
5
SPEAKER_00
I just, I,
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t have that excuse sometimes where sometimes.
5
SPEAKER_01
You gotta feel it.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m still, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
You gotta feel the pain and the sadness.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
You gotta go through the experiences.
5
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I don t have that excuse as to, sorry, I didn t mean to text, like I was drunk.
5
SPEAKER_00
And it s like, it s been three months and you randomly, and so it s like, now I m back into it.
5
SPEAKER_00
And so that s the hardest part is knowing that like, if I decide to text you, that is,
5
SPEAKER_00
sober me that is me that genuinely means it you know it s it s never a question of like
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, I don t, like, was this just a drunk text?
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, does she mean it?
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, it s like, for me, it s like, I m going to respect your boundaries, but if it comes to a point where I m just like, I don t care.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m just gonna follow my heart.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, I want to do this again.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s like, I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s tricky.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s very tricky, but yeah, this, this feels a lot like, uh, like talks that I have with like a therapist.
5
SPEAKER_00
And it s, um, yeah, I m glad I started talking to him too.
5
SPEAKER_00
Cause I ve had friends that recommended me because
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know, even when things started to get really good, even when I started to get into a better mindset of like, you know, life goes on and I can love this person from afar, but right now it s like, if we re meant to be, there s no rush.
5
SPEAKER_00
And it s like, we ll find each other.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I think there s really no point in rushing it.
5
SPEAKER_00
And that s like what I kind of had to accept.
5
SPEAKER_00
And so with this therapist, I m like,
5
SPEAKER_00
It s nice talking to someone when things are good, so that they stay good.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s the best time, dude.
5
SPEAKER_00
Because it s like, when they re bad, it s like, you have tools to use, like, when things are like, when you get in that mindset of thinking, when you go down a rabbit hole, it s like, remember what they told you, like, do this, do that.
5
SPEAKER_00
But when you re happy, it s like, you know, that s the time when you re supposed to stay happy.
5
SPEAKER_01
When I entered the relationship I m in with my girlfriend, Martha,
5
SPEAKER_01
We started dating, we took it slow.
5
SPEAKER_01
We took it slow, which I ve never done in the past, but I decided I m going to do everything different.
5
SPEAKER_01
And we took it slow.
5
SPEAKER_01
I was also doing individual therapy and we made a commitment, an agreement together before we got exclusively committed.
5
SPEAKER_01
We said, I made the suggestion, but she was like quickly to agree.
5
SPEAKER_01
I said, Hey, I would really like to start in therapy together.
5
SPEAKER_01
Couples therapy.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And just try differently.
5
SPEAKER_01
Cause I d been in a lot of failed relationships.
5
SPEAKER_01
I tried a lot of stuff and none of it worked.
5
SPEAKER_01
So let me try something completely different.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
She was like, absolutely.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m down.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it has been the greatest gift we have given ourselves and the relationship because any disagreement, any misunderstanding, any confusion or feeling of like, oh, that didn t feel good.
5
SPEAKER_01
We re able to communicate it consciously.
5
SPEAKER_01
whenever we go to that session together.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it allows us to create ground rules.
5
SPEAKER_01
It allows us to create boundaries.
5
SPEAKER_01
It allows us to create agreements.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it brings me more peace.
5
SPEAKER_01
Having that understanding.
5
SPEAKER_01
And someone equally as committed to personal growth as I am.
5
SPEAKER_01
Love it.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it s, I m not saying you need to do that 22 in the relationship that you re in next, but...
5
SPEAKER_01
For me, doing it when things are good is the best time to do it.
5
SPEAKER_01
So I really acknowledge you for doing that.
5
SPEAKER_01
I love the lessons that you would give your younger self.
5
SPEAKER_01
Take it slow.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it sounds like you have this realization, hey, we re meant to be.
5
SPEAKER_01
we ll find each other at some point.
5
SPEAKER_01
Whether it s in a week, a year, three years, you know.
5
SPEAKER_01
So taking it slow, I think, is great wisdom that you shared with yourself.
5
SPEAKER_01
Took some time to come to that, though.
5
SPEAKER_00
It definitely took some time to, like, acknowledge that that was the case, because I m like,
5
SPEAKER_00
You re sitting there fighting for it, and it s like, we ll make this work.
5
SPEAKER_00
Let s do it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Let s give it another go.
5
SPEAKER_00
What do you need, and how can I do this for you?
5
SPEAKER_00
How can I help?
5
SPEAKER_00
Don t worry about how I m feeling, because that does not matter right now.
5
SPEAKER_00
What matters is we make you happy.
5
SPEAKER_00
What caught like at what point is it like you do you have to take a step back?
5
SPEAKER_00
Cuz if I saw one of my friends doing this, what would you say to them?
5
SPEAKER_00
Hey, dude, come on Like you ve got to put yourself first like you have to like they and you know And I m like, it s so hard when you re blinded by it.
5
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, I Yeah, so if you saw a friend of you re struggling in a relationship you d be like oh
5
SPEAKER_01
Hey, if she needs space, give her space and go focus on your life.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s so hard.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s so hard when you re in it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Cause it s like, you know what the sexiest thing and you want the sexiest and most attractive thing is for a woman is when a man is fully committed to his vision and his mission, taking care of his life in service to his friends, his family, his community.
5
SPEAKER_01
and joyful.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Not needing a relationship, not checking in constantly to see, Hey, what can I do for you?
5
SPEAKER_01
But in his purpose, that is when women are most attracted to men.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And so independence coming together.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And, and then you can come together and support one another with each other s lives individually and together.
5
SPEAKER_01
But
5
SPEAKER_01
If you re always in support, I think it s amazing.
5
SPEAKER_01
I understand where you re coming from.
5
SPEAKER_01
I think it s like, wow, that s like a dream guy who is always here to show up for her.
5
SPEAKER_00
And like, I m flattered that you say that because it s like in my head, I m like, you know, who s the kind of guy I want dating my daughter or if I, I mean, yeah, daughter, future kid, but also my sisters, you know, I m very like, even though I m the youngest, like I m still very protective of my sisters.
5
SPEAKER_00
If they started talking to a guy and I don t like it, I m gonna tell her.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m like, don t waste your time.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t like this guy, and here s why.
5
SPEAKER_00
But fortunately, I haven t really had to say that to either of them.
5
SPEAKER_00
They re good at picking, which is nice.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I think it s one of those things where, I don t know, I don t ever really wanna change those qualities about myself.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I ve questioned them, because I m like, this isn t working right now.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know, I get so split between two minds of like, this isn t working, should I try the latter?
5
SPEAKER_00
Should I not?
5
SPEAKER_00
You shouldn t be a jerk.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, exactly.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s like, I don t ever want to even question, should I, you know, because there s that saying, nice guys finish last, and it s like,
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t think that s the case, honestly.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like I, I really think like kindness wins at the end of the day.
5
SPEAKER_01
But it s not about changing.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s about evolving.
5
SPEAKER_01
Right.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it s keeping the core of who you are, the values, the generosity, the kindness, the support.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s like a dream as a friend and as a partner.
5
SPEAKER_01
Right.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it s evolving into saying my health, my mission, my, my values need to be my number one priority.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And that s hard to say.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And most, most people don t like, most people in relationship don t like hearing that.
5
SPEAKER_01
And this is my personal experience.
5
SPEAKER_01
Again, I m not sharing this as like what everyone should do.
5
SPEAKER_01
But when I shifted this and I said, instead of making someone else number one and making my mission and my health number one,
5
SPEAKER_01
And then a relationship, second or third, everything shifted for me.
5
SPEAKER_01
And my relationship is healthy and happy.
5
SPEAKER_01
My girlfriend loves that about me because I haven t been on purpose.
5
SPEAKER_01
And she still thinks I m very generous and giving and I show up in a big way.
5
SPEAKER_01
So it s not like you re changing into like, I m never going to be there, the opposite.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s showing up for yourself the way you would for someone like that first.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then showing up.
5
SPEAKER_01
Right.
5
SPEAKER_01
No, it makes sense.
5
SPEAKER_01
Prioritizing other things.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s it.
5
SPEAKER_01
What has been the biggest thing that s opened up for you during this conversation as we get to the last few questions?
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think, uh, I think at times I find myself in like, again, going back to like my mom and like my dad, like they always kind of told me I m a bit of a, a bit of an old soul, but like,
5
SPEAKER_00
I take it as a compliment, but I also am like, nah, I can have fun like this, that.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I think I just grew up with older people and I grew up with older friends.
5
SPEAKER_00
And to this day, all my closest friends in LA are older.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I don t know, I find...
5
SPEAKER_00
like wisdom and I find like more experience very appealing and like not even just as like I m old into older women like it s like sure as like friends and like companions it s nice to know that someone has I like to learn from people and I like to
6
SPEAKER_01
Be a sponge in conversations, and I like to like really just you know Soak everything in and I think that s been lovely talking to you today about and just like hearing these things because obviously You know I share a lot with my therapist, but at the same time like it s nice to hear it from yeah You know a guy perspective where?
6
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s just been nice.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s good, man.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s been a fun conversation.
6
SPEAKER_00
I ve got a few final questions for you, but I know you ve been working on a few things.
6
SPEAKER_00
How can we support you in your professional career right now?
6
SPEAKER_00
What s the thing you re most excited about that you are launching?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so, I mean, the main thing right now, I would say is the recent launch of my apparel brand.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
As of right now, it s Genderless Undergarments, and gender neutral, it s called EFES.
6
SPEAKER_01
EFES.
6
SPEAKER_01
EFES.
6
SPEAKER_01
Or, you know, all my friends are like, so when am I getting some IFAS?
6
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, you know, that works too.
6
SPEAKER_01
You know, it s like, I m not going to sit here and be like, it s EFES, you know, it s like tomato.
6
SPEAKER_01
So, however you want to pronounce it.
6
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, it s a,
6
SPEAKER_01
As of right now, we just have underwear and undergarments.
6
SPEAKER_01
But like I said, genderless and so made for everyone.
6
SPEAKER_01
And it s really, I m really excited about it.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I m really passionate about this new project because I didn t want this brand to be
6
SPEAKER_01
merchy, if you will.
6
SPEAKER_01
I wanted to, I want to, I want to build a brand and I want to curate something and foster a community that has for everyone.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I want, you know, it s really cool.
6
SPEAKER_01
I guess one of my favorite parts about social media and it s one of my favorite parts about being an influencer, content creator, whatever.
6
SPEAKER_01
Um,
6
SPEAKER_01
you know, creating an aesthetic.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I really have fun with like photography and all this.
6
SPEAKER_01
And so for our first campaign shoot, we kind of went back in time to and did like a Greek mythology type of thing.
6
SPEAKER_01
And it was really cool and I had a blast doing it.
6
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, the story of Ephesus kind of originates back in Greek mythology.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I can bore you with the whole story of the details, but it s basically a lovely, beautiful story about, um,
6
SPEAKER_01
at the end of the day, like love conquering all.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s about like gender fluidity.
6
SPEAKER_01
You know, this King that wanted a son, but then had a daughter and then raised her as a son.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then she fell in love with a girl.
6
SPEAKER_01
And so it s just like love conquering all at the end of the day.
6
SPEAKER_01
And like, I think it goes perfectly.
6
SPEAKER_01
I know we kind of rabbit hole down like relationship stuff and I can talk forever, but it goes back to, I just love love.
6
SPEAKER_01
But it s also like my biggest kryptonite I think is like, it definitely hurts me the most.
6
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, with EFES, I m just very excited.
6
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, right now at this given moment, soon releasing more, but right now we have two designs of the underwear, two waistbands, if you will.
6
SPEAKER_01
One is called the Heritage and one is called the Classic.
6
SPEAKER_01
And yeah, I love them.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like, they re great.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I really and I mean, I think the
6
SPEAKER_01
like initial idea of creating an underwear brand.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like I m sure you might be wondering like why underwear?
6
SPEAKER_01
Like why even doing this?
6
SPEAKER_01
Like when I first started social media, like what gained me a lot of my following, what I think got a lot of views, shirtless.
6
SPEAKER_01
And me and the boys were kind of, we were free billboards for Calvin Klein with our waistbands, like always showing like that kind of thing.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, had this idea and I was like, what if,
6
SPEAKER_01
what if we owned like what if we wore something that we owned and just constantly had it in our content organically where it s not like we re not getting paid to post it we re not doing this but at the end of the day it s just pushing something that we re passionate about and that is ours and so I kind of kept this idea to myself and because I was like I don t even know where to start like this idea I had and then um after some time the conversation came back up and after we all kind of split ways and like moved into different houses um
6
SPEAKER_01
I had a talk with my manager, I was like, I really want to do this.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like, I think this is really cool and kind of exciting.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then it was at the time when I kind of started to get more into fashion as well.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, this just feels perfect.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like, I feel like we should do this.
6
SPEAKER_01
I was like, where do we start?
6
SPEAKER_01
And fortunately I was, I had people around me that, you know, I asked a lot of questions.
6
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I had, um, you know, a lot of friends that, you know, like yourself that I would go to and be like, that are older and be like, Hey, put your arm around me.
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Like, how do we do this?
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Like mentor me a bit, like on how to start a business on how to do this.
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Like I want to learn.
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And so in creating this brand, like I made sure I was very hands on.
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Cause I was like, this is my baby.
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Like this is like my thing that I want to really blow up.
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And like in a couple of years, I like,
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everything goes well, like the dream happens.
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I want people to buy the product for what it is and not even know that I have anything to do with it.
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So yeah, it s something that is really exciting to me.
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It s exciting.
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I can see it on you.
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And eventually open up to
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I mean, there s really no cap.
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I don t know where it s gonna go as a brand, but very exciting things.
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I think it s one of those things where we ll kind of just... See where it goes.
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See where it goes.
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Can we buy right now?
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Is it out?
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Is it launching?
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You can buy right now, yeah.
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So, it came out June 6th, was the launch of the official...
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Uh, site and everything.
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So yeah, right now we just have the icon or the classic and the heritage.
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Okay.
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What s the website?
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It s called efees.us.
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I-P-H-I-S, right?
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Yes.
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Okay.
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Dot U-S.
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Dot U-S.
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Or if we go to your Instagram or TikTok.
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It s anywhere.
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You ll find it.
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Yeah.
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It s in my bio.
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Yeah.
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Efees.us, I love that.
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You re also all over social media, Noah Beck everywhere.
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So make sure you guys check out Noah s content, follow him, subscribe.
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Even though you re not an OG commenter, you can still join the party of the 50 million plus and hang out.
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These are a couple questions I ask everyone at the end.
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But I usually don t have many people your age on here.
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I ve had a few people in there, you know, yelling corny.
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Okay.
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I m gonna ask you this question and have you dream and imagine for a moment.
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So this question is called the three truths.
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It s a hypothetical question.
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Imagine you get to live as long as you wanna live.
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80, 90, 100, 120, whatever it is.
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You get to live as long as you wanna live, but it s your last day.
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And you have accomplished, created, and experienced life to the fullest in every area.
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financially, career, personally, professionally, love, all these things, family, all of it.
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You created this life.
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Love it.
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Right.
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Okay.
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But for whatever reason in this scenario, you ve got to take all of your content, your work, your business, your products to the next place.
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They re not here in this physical world anymore.
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So no one has access to this conversation, to anything you ve ever posted online.
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It s all gone.
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Okay.
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Hypothetical.
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And for whatever reason, you get to leave three truths behind, three lessons that you would share with the world.
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And that s all we have to remember you by are these three truths.
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What would be those three truths that you would leave behind?
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Trying not to steal quotes that I ve seen.
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I m trying not to steal.
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Whatever comes to your heart, yeah.
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Yeah.
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Whatever you feel.
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If there s a quote that really stands out to you as a good truth, feel free to share it.
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I think something that I try to spread, and I think that
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can resonate with all my content and kind of going back to like, you know, despite, you know, being able to get sad and, you know, being human, um, I try to be very positive and I think, uh, that kind of goes back to, you know, life s too short.
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You might as well do what makes you happy.
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So I think, uh, doing what makes you happy could be one.
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Um, it was funny.
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There was, I had, I had lunch with a friend not too long ago and,
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we had known each other, but we never had a proper sit down.
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And I was fortunate enough that we got the chance to kind of like our schedules, our busy schedules kind of aligned up.
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Yeah.
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And so it was nice having a really nice conversation with him.
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And one of the things that he told me was that I m definitely going to have the truth because I think this, it just like really,
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I don t know.
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It just really touched me in a way that I was like, if you re ever doubting something, if you re ever doing this, and he told me, he was like, don t ever keep your talents hidden.
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Because if you do, you re owing the world a disservice.
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And so by not
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sharing your talents, you re, you know, stealing the world from potential joy that people can get from you.
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So I thought that was really interesting.
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And I think that can resonate with like what I do as a social media content creator is like everything that I put out, it s really amazing.
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And I think that my favorite comments are like, it s not my favorite, but it s the comments that like really like touch me and like really hit me and like really, I don t know,
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I guess.
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Give me that reassurance that I m doing something right is when people say like you genuinely saved my life or like that stuff like is really
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Like knowing that there s someone out there that you ve saved with your videos is just insane to me.
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And so that s why I think like that one kind of hits home because there could be someone out there that needs to hear what you have to say.
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So say that.
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Second one or the third truth?
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The third truth, I would say, um, I don t know.
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This is kind of like more advice to myself that I think could be.
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Like that?
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And it kind of goes go back to it, but instead of just your heart I would say protect your peace.
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Oh, and I think like again a bit cliche, but It s one of those things where it s simple, but it s so true like I think I Think once I kind of started to apply that to my life.
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I think things got a lot a lot better yeah, man for
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I don t know, just find, finding something that like makes you at peace and finding something and then finding ways to like constantly apply it.
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So that doesn t, yeah.
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It s beautiful, man.
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The simplest stuff is usually the most important.
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I love these three truths.
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Um, before I ask the final question, no, I want to acknowledge you for your openness.
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I appreciate your openness.
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I appreciate your generous heart, your, you know, your candor and everything that you shared today and the fact that you re,
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Again, I think I told you before, I haven t seen you really do a long form conversation like this.
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So I appreciate you being willing to put yourself out there and open up about these things because I think it s going to inspire and help a lot of people with you doing this.
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And I hope you do more of this in the future.
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So I acknowledge you for everything you ve had to go through over the last three years.
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Although someone watching or listening might say, well, this kid doesn t have to go through that much because it s been success, money, fame.
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But it s the quote that I m going to butcher, but paraphrase from Jim Carrey, he said, I wish everyone would become rich and famous and realize it s not.
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I wish everyone would experience it and realize it s not the key to happiness.
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And so I acknowledge you for having to experience life at 19 into 22 with all this happening all at once.
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I m sure a lot of amazing, exciting things, but also some weird, confusing, challenging things too.
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Final question for you, Noah, what is your definition of greatness?
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I would say greatness to me is
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Applying yourself every day to be the best version of yourself and doing Just doing all the right things While also, you know living a little and having some fun sure, you know, and I think that s that s where I m constantly split is uh, you know, maybe maybe I do need to let loose a little but at the same time like Yeah, so I think yeah, I think that would that would be my definition of greatness.
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I
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I hope today s episode inspired you on your journey towards greatness.
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Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a rundown of today s show with all the important links.
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And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me as well as ad free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our greatness plus channel on apple podcast.
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If you enjoyed this, please share it with a friend over on social media or text a friend, leave us a review over on Apple podcast, and let me know what you learned over on our social media channels at Lewis Howes.
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I really love hearing the feedback from you and it helps us continue to make the show better.
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And if you want more inspiration from our world-class guests and content to learn how to improve the quality of your life, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness Newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.
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And if no one has told you today, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter.
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And now it s time to go out there and do something great.