3
SPEAKER_00
From the show, which I also, I mean, I m trying to work on that too a little bit, but it s definitely a plus.
3
SPEAKER_00
I guess it feels more natural or normal or what would happen in any circumstance.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s just like, who s your friend?
3
SPEAKER_01
Who s the hot woman in the video?
3
SPEAKER_01
She s so cute and she sounds so great.
3
SPEAKER_01
Instead of like, oh, she has this cool life or this cool job or she s doing such important work.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s just about Monica.
3
SPEAKER_01
The way he said Monica.
3
SPEAKER_01
He said my name a lot.
3
SPEAKER_01
I know, I loved it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Who s this hottie?
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, I sent it to one other person.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh my god, he s gonna kill me.
3
SPEAKER_00
I sent it to a friend who s been very much on the hunt for me in a very sweet way.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like very much trying to get me partnered up.
3
SPEAKER_00
I sent her the screen grab first and she was like, oh my god, Liz.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then she called.
3
SPEAKER_00
She loved it.
3
SPEAKER_00
So anyway,
3
SPEAKER_00
TBD on Sean, and TBD on a lot of the other things we started to talk about.
3
SPEAKER_00
We talked about a lot of stuff.
3
SPEAKER_00
I do want to talk about your emotional pin.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I wanted to talk about when you were stuck.
3
SPEAKER_01
We never talked about that, and I feel like it s connected.
3
SPEAKER_01
That wasn t about that.
3
SPEAKER_00
about what I said it was about?
3
SPEAKER_01
I think that you are afraid of the streets in general.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
Fine.
3
SPEAKER_00
We ll go.
3
SPEAKER_00
Damn it.
3
SPEAKER_00
What time is it?
3
SPEAKER_00
It s 1102.
3
SPEAKER_00
We haven t even done questions, but I do think we kind of have to talk about it.
3
SPEAKER_00
We do.
3
SPEAKER_00
Can you just do one question?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I talked about this on Armchair, so people might be familiar.
3
SPEAKER_00
I got stuck on the street in the middle of the night.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was nine, and that s the middle of the night in Los Angeles.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s not, but okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was walking back.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was really dark.
3
SPEAKER_00
There was people I was walking by that I felt unsafe, and I started to spiral out, and I got really scared, and I got stuck, and Kristen had to pick me up and drive me home, and I was like really out of sorts about it and an outsized reaction.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like I was crying really hard, which
3
SPEAKER_00
didn t really make sense.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then when I sat with it more, it felt to me like it was sort of a panic attack, like the type of fear that was circulating and then the relief of the crying and all of that stuff.
3
SPEAKER_00
And for me, what I took was that I just felt very alone.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s like what you said with the cooking.
3
SPEAKER_00
There are just moments where you re like, I feel sad that I made this delicious curry.
3
SPEAKER_00
And there s no one here to eat it.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was sort of like that where I felt no one is obligated to help me right now.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s on me or I have to put someone out.
3
SPEAKER_00
That was the big piece.
3
SPEAKER_00
I know I have people to ask, but it s asking them to stop their lives.
3
SPEAKER_00
and come help me, which felt like an intrusion as opposed to if it was a husband or a boyfriend.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s their job.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so it feels like I m not really putting them out.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s just like what they signed up for.
3
SPEAKER_00
And that felt sad.
3
SPEAKER_00
But you think it s because I m afraid of the streets?
3
SPEAKER_00
No.
3
SPEAKER_01
You are afraid of the streets, but it wasn t really about the streets.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was more about your heart.
3
SPEAKER_01
And at the time, I was like, obviously, I would have come and gotten you on my Razor scooter and would have been happy to do it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I wouldn t have done it because I m obligated to do it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I would do it because I want to do it.
3
SPEAKER_01
And the fact that you re surrounded by so many people who want to help you, I think, is the important thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
This, I think, is relatable to so many people who are listening.
3
SPEAKER_01
When I got into my bike accident, I had a cane and like, I lived on a six-floor walk-up and I wouldn t go into work with my cane.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I remember like, why don t I want people to see me with a cane?
3
SPEAKER_01
Because did you feel like it made you look weak?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t want people to think I need help or that I need them to stop their lives to help me.
3
SPEAKER_01
And you did bring up at the time, Callie has her baby.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I m just wondering if, because that s really new.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s a big thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s a big thing when you have a baby, but we don t really talk about
3
SPEAKER_01
how like it feels to have a really close friend or a best friend have a child and that s a really new chapter in your friendship.
3
SPEAKER_00
It changes it.
3
SPEAKER_00
It is.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I wonder if that was also part of it of like, I would have called Callie, but I can t.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it definitely went through my head when I was going through the list.
3
SPEAKER_00
of people who could come help me.
3
SPEAKER_00
She has a very newborn baby.
3
SPEAKER_00
She s the last person on the list right now.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I think that was upsetting a little bit of like, oh God.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes, this person who I would never have felt.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, but there are layers, I will say, because she s married too.
3
SPEAKER_00
Before she was married, I would not have thought twice.
3
SPEAKER_00
I would have called her so quickly.
3
SPEAKER_00
I need help.
3
SPEAKER_00
You need to come get me right now.
3
SPEAKER_00
Once she got married, I still know she will do anything for me.
3
SPEAKER_00
I know it in my bones.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s just a logistical shift.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s just when I know when I call, there s somebody else there who she has to say,
3
SPEAKER_00
Hey, I gotta go help Monica.
3
SPEAKER_00
Maybe they re watching TV and they have to stop watching TV, or maybe they re having sex and they have to stop having sex.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what they re doing, but they re doing something together.
3
SPEAKER_00
They re definitely watching TV.
3
SPEAKER_00
Every couple s just watching TV.
3
SPEAKER_00
I know.
3
SPEAKER_00
But still, they re doing something together that she has to stop.
3
SPEAKER_00
It disrupts two people.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then adding a child to the mix is just such another level.
3
SPEAKER_00
I guess for me, it prioritized everything where it s, well, obviously she can t do that.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, this is so stupid, really, what s happening.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, I knew it was stupid.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s not.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, it s not.
3
SPEAKER_01
You re having a panic attack.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I can t think of a more important thing to have someone help you.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s not more important than a new baby.
3
SPEAKER_00
And that s just the truth.
3
SPEAKER_00
And nothing will be.
3
SPEAKER_00
And that s okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
I disagree.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, if I m having a seizure, then she probably could leave.
3
SPEAKER_01
But a panic attack is a mental seizure.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, we kind of put mental health and physical health in two different buckets.
3
SPEAKER_01
But if you had just stayed there and not gotten help, it probably would have turned into something more physical.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, I mean, panic attacks are physical.
3
SPEAKER_01
So, again, I ve never had a newborn baby, but even if I had a newborn baby, I would be mad if you hadn t called me.
3
SPEAKER_00
And because of that, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
And you were going through that.
3
SPEAKER_01
Meaning, like, people want to be there for you.
3
SPEAKER_01
People get pleasure out of helping you.
3
SPEAKER_00
I know, but I have to understand what it s taking.
3
SPEAKER_00
And from her, it would be taking way too much at the time, which is why then it s like, you go to the next person, which I was thinking of you, but I was like, she has a scooter.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s not—
3
SPEAKER_00
And then Jess is at work and he s at work for another like hour and a half.
3
SPEAKER_00
He will come get me when he s done with work.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I guess I could just like stand here.
3
SPEAKER_00
And Ana, but Ana lives far away.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know, you just start going through the whole list.
3
SPEAKER_00
And by the way, I m going through mostly first my single friends.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then when they re not options, then the panic gets even worse because it feels like, oh my God, these people who don t have anyone to ask if they need to walk out of the house, they also can t do it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, no one s here.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
So anyway, it all worked out because someone did stop their life and it was fine.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then how does this relate to your emotional pin?
3
SPEAKER_01
I find that it s a really not talked about thing, or I guess maybe some people talk about it, but just the, I don t know if it s grief because my best friend Kat from home in Montreal, like she is in a long-term relationship.
3
SPEAKER_01
We never talked about it, but it did create a shift, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
Where like, yeah, I used to come into town and it was like,
3
SPEAKER_01
let s hang out and everything was kind of- About you guys.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_01
The priority is the friendship and then all of a sudden that person has a different priority.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
And when you told me the story, I kept thinking about this big change with Callie.
3
SPEAKER_01
We ve talked about it a little bit, but it s a big deal.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s just complicated.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I think we talked about it a little bit on one of the questions before.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s just accepting the reality that things are fluid and things do change and it s okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
And you can also mourn these losses.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
and embrace the good things.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, I love being around that baby.
3
SPEAKER_00
He s so cute.
3
SPEAKER_00
He s hers.
3
SPEAKER_00
I feel that.
3
SPEAKER_00
And it s very special.
3
SPEAKER_00
So, all things are happening all at once.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s not just like, well, there she goes.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s just a change.
3
SPEAKER_00
Changes are hard and beautiful.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I feel like you re not tying the emotional pin.
3
SPEAKER_00
What is it?
3
SPEAKER_00
Do you keep avoiding the emotional pin?
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, like the quote, it s probably a meme, where it s like, I hope, sorry.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s probably a misattributed quote to Marilyn Monroe.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, it s like sort of a reference to exes and past lovers.
3
SPEAKER_01
And it s like, I hope you have an amazing life and I hear nothing about it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you did some sort of deep dive?
3
SPEAKER_01
No, it s just I saw this interview.
3
SPEAKER_01
A kind of public-ish ex had
3
SPEAKER_01
something that you saw?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_01
And there s some stuff in there that s related.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, I hate this.
3
SPEAKER_01
I really want to know how it was to have exes before the Internet.
3
SPEAKER_01
I guess I only have until the fourth or fifth grade experience of what that s like.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I mean, there s no way to compare or know, but I think pain is pain.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I do think it also depends on the type of imagination you have.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, before the internet, I think you could really let your brain run free and have no way of
3
SPEAKER_00
confirming or denying.
3
SPEAKER_00
So it could be just as bad.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_00
It keeps the person alive.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think I literally saw a Huberman thing on this.
3
SPEAKER_01
Huberman was like, yeah, the way to get over heartbreak or to get over a person is like you cut ties.
3
SPEAKER_01
And because of the Internet, there s so many ways of not cutting ties.
4
SPEAKER_00
I have so much respect for people who don t Google, ever.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s really hard.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I had a whole chocolate bar and I felt better.
4
SPEAKER_00
So that s the answer.
4
SPEAKER_00
It worked.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s the answer.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay, we re gonna do one question.
4
SPEAKER_00
Sorry we got so chatty.
4
SPEAKER_00
We went into a lot.
4
SPEAKER_00
We got six minutes.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay, we have six minutes.
4
SPEAKER_00
Ooh, fuck, this is a really good one.
4
SPEAKER_00
Ah, maybe I should save it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I should save it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Is there like a yes or no one?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I m going to do a rapid fire.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, this is a really good one too.
4
SPEAKER_00
These are so good.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, should I do the roast chicken one?
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it s connected.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
4
SPEAKER_00
Good talk about roast chickens.
4
SPEAKER_00
It is connected.
4
SPEAKER_00
How do you make the perfect roasted chicken and how do you put a meal together?
4
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
4
SPEAKER_00
This is from Sam.
4
SPEAKER_00
How do you figure out how to plan a dinner and make a classic dish?
4
SPEAKER_00
Alison Roman, Alison Roman, Alison Roman.
4
SPEAKER_00
I ll just say that.
4
SPEAKER_00
Actually, my roast chicken recipe, Alison does have a great one, but Molly Baas has an amazing roast chicken.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s very easy to do.
4
SPEAKER_00
She has a video on YouTube, so you can watch the video and then also look at the recipe.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it s called the pastrami roast chicken.
4
SPEAKER_00
You hate that.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s pastrami.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, it s the rub on the chicken is like the flavor.
4
SPEAKER_00
So it has...
4
SPEAKER_00
Your face, oh my God.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay, it s brown sugar, black pepper, paprika, salt, olive oil.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think that s it.
4
SPEAKER_00
There might be one other spice.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then you rub that on the chicken.
4
SPEAKER_00
There s garlic and onion in the big pot.
4
SPEAKER_00
You roast it, open the window.
4
SPEAKER_00
So your smoke alarm doesn t go off.
4
SPEAKER_00
Pro tip.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s so good.
4
SPEAKER_00
The onions get so melty and the garlic gets roasted and it s unbelievable.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s so good.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then even if you re by yourself, make the chicken and save most of it.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s fine.
4
SPEAKER_00
Another good hack is to shred it up and then you have that for the week or throw it in a soup.
4
SPEAKER_00
Tacos.
4
SPEAKER_00
Tacos, exactly.
4
SPEAKER_00
Chicken, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
They re chicken tacos.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, she doesn t know about meat.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know about it.
4
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, make it and enjoy it.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s fun.
4
SPEAKER_00
If you drink, have a little glass of wine while you re cooking.
4
SPEAKER_00
I like listening to podcasts while I m cooking, so just have that on the background.
4
SPEAKER_00
Eventize.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, eventize.
4
SPEAKER_00
What s the number one mistake people make when they make a whole chicken?
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so if it s starting to burn, which sometimes that s happened to me, you can take a little bit of aluminum foil and make a little sort of tent and just place it on top of the chicken so it doesn t burn.
4
SPEAKER_00
So if it s starting to burn, you can do that.
4
SPEAKER_00
Also a meat thermometer, get yourself a meat thermometer so you can really make sure it s the right temp.
4
SPEAKER_00
This good one.
4
SPEAKER_00
But there s some amazing questions for next week that we will get to and we will prioritize.
4
SPEAKER_00
I can t wait to hear them.
4
SPEAKER_00
Just like ourselves.
4
SPEAKER_00
I love you.
4
SPEAKER_00
I love you more.
4
SPEAKER_00
See you next week.
4
SPEAKER_00
Bye.