0
SPEAKER_01
This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.
0
SPEAKER_01
Look at how fast, we re almost halfway through the year.
0
SPEAKER_01
Crazy, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Are you proud of what you ve done in 2024 so far?
0
SPEAKER_02
I mean, you always want to do more, right?
0
SPEAKER_02
Life goes so fast, David.
0
SPEAKER_02
It s important to take a moment to celebrate your wins, make adjustments for the rest of the year.
0
SPEAKER_02
Therapy can help you take stock of your progress and set achievable goals for the next six months.
0
SPEAKER_01
Listen, therapy is the way to go.
0
SPEAKER_01
I did it for a while.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I think the thing that slowed me down was what they, is driving to Santa Monica in traffic once or twice a week.
0
SPEAKER_01
This is online.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s a great idea.
0
SPEAKER_01
Very convenient.
0
SPEAKER_01
It helps you.
0
SPEAKER_01
You ve got coping skills, how to set boundaries.
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, there s so many things you can do here to be a better version of yourself.
0
SPEAKER_01
You can probably always sharpen it.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I mean, I had a therapist in Portland and I would commute and that was a pain.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s a long drive.
0
SPEAKER_02
I know it was 1300 miles one way, but you know, it s good therapist.
0
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, this one you can mix and match and your thoughts kind of control you and you want to master them.
0
SPEAKER_02
And when you talk to someone else, they re able to kind of discern it out.
0
SPEAKER_02
So if you re thinking of starting to give therapy a try, give BetterHelp a try.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, suited to your schedule.
0
SPEAKER_01
You fill out a questionnaire, get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist if you want to for any reason, no charge.
0
SPEAKER_01
Take a moment, visit betterhelp.com slash FOTW.
0
SPEAKER_01
Today, get 10% off your first month.
0
SPEAKER_02
That s BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash F-O-T-W.
0
SPEAKER_00
Knowing how to speak and understand a new language can be an invaluable tool when traveling, meeting new friends, or just even to master a new skill.
0
SPEAKER_00
But it s not always simple when you re bogged down by textbooks and structure classes.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s why so many people trust Rosetta Stone.
0
SPEAKER_00
Rosetta Stone is the most trusted language learning program available on desktop or as an app.
0
SPEAKER_00
It truly immerses you in the language you want to learn, like Spanish, French, Italian, Chinese, and more.
0
SPEAKER_00
You won t just be studying English translations.
0
SPEAKER_00
The Rosetta Stone intuitive process helps you pick up a language naturally, first with words, then phrases, then sentences.
0
SPEAKER_00
Don t put off learning that language.
0
SPEAKER_00
There s no better time than right now to get started.
0
SPEAKER_00
For a very limited time, listeners can get Rosetta Stone s lifetime membership for 50% off.
0
SPEAKER_00
Visit rosettastone.com slash rs10.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s 50% off unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your life.
0
SPEAKER_00
Redeem your 50% off at rosettastone.com slash rs10 today.
0
SPEAKER_01
When the husband marries, who does he pick?
0
SPEAKER_01
The other one feels like an asshole.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then the other one is like, well, I guess I ll just sit here and watch you bone my sister.
0
SPEAKER_02
Sorry.
0
SPEAKER_02
Here, I ll give you a pop quiz.
0
SPEAKER_02
I don t know if we re always rolling.
0
SPEAKER_01
We re not rolling.
0
SPEAKER_01
Are we rolling?
0
SPEAKER_02
Pop quiz.
0
SPEAKER_02
Always rolling.
0
SPEAKER_02
Pop quiz.
0
SPEAKER_02
Who was the femme fatale in the remake with Jeff Bridges of King Kong?
0
SPEAKER_02
And it was in- Jessica Lange?
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_02
God damn it.
0
SPEAKER_01
You know, the only reason I like that- Damn it, you re good.
0
SPEAKER_01
The only reason I like it, I love her so much.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then Naomi Watts was in King Kong.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then it s always just whoever s the hottest blonde, it ll be Margot Robbie now.
0
SPEAKER_02
And Margot Robbie, yeah, she ll do like Bong will be Barbie and Kong.
0
SPEAKER_02
No, when- It ll be called Bong.
0
SPEAKER_01
When she gives him a BJ.
0
SPEAKER_02
Maybe Garth will be in it.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_02
Garth never smoked weed.
0
SPEAKER_02
Garth.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah, he s a virgin.
0
SPEAKER_02
Well, he got pubes at 38.
0
SPEAKER_01
He was a late developer.
0
SPEAKER_01
Now, let me tell you something.
0
SPEAKER_01
Go ahead.
0
SPEAKER_02
I just got pubes.
0
SPEAKER_02
What do I do with them?
0
SPEAKER_02
I have Garth glasses and I have a Garth.
0
SPEAKER_02
What do I do with them?
0
SPEAKER_02
I counted them and I named them.
0
SPEAKER_02
One s name is Lucy.
0
SPEAKER_02
One name is David Spade.
0
SPEAKER_02
Did you tie yours in knots?
0
SPEAKER_02
I said David Spade.
0
SPEAKER_02
One s name is David Spade.
0
SPEAKER_02
A full name.
0
SPEAKER_02
We could have had you in Wayne s World 2 just as yourself, a cameo.
0
SPEAKER_02
You push in on your pubes in the microscope and then you get to me?
0
SPEAKER_02
You play a doctor.
0
SPEAKER_02
You could be in Stan Makeda s donut shop.
0
SPEAKER_02
You could ve been a psychopath or something.
0
SPEAKER_01
Another Canadian.
0
SPEAKER_02
Some kind of weirdo.
0
SPEAKER_01
No, you look at your pubes in the magnifying glass and you get really close and one pube is me.
0
SPEAKER_02
Help!
0
SPEAKER_02
That is like Incredible Shrinking Man.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s weird.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that s like Raquel Welch in, what was that called when she shrunk down?
0
SPEAKER_02
50 Foot Woman?
0
SPEAKER_02
No, 1968, Raquel Welch.
0
SPEAKER_02
The Incredible Shrinking...
0
SPEAKER_01
Incredible Shrinking Woman, that was Lily Tomlin.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, there was some other name for it, but they all shrunk down.
0
SPEAKER_01
Wasn t when they went in the boat?
0
SPEAKER_02
They went inside the body inside a boat.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_02
Donald Pleasence gets killed.
0
SPEAKER_02
Anyway.
0
SPEAKER_01
All right, listen, let me do Godzilla.
0
SPEAKER_01
We ve lost half our audience.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then we ll do Bethany.
0
SPEAKER_02
Let s pull over and eat, honey.
0
SPEAKER_02
This is not the best start.
0
SPEAKER_01
Is that okay?
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay, I m gonna start.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_01
Three, two.
0
SPEAKER_01
Welcome to Superfly, my guest is Dana Carvey.
0
SPEAKER_01
Welcome to take one.
0
SPEAKER_02
We re back in the studio.
0
SPEAKER_02
These albino shins are not going to make, because I saw the last one and the whole fucking podcast is that.
0
SPEAKER_02
That s what you re showing?
0
SPEAKER_02
I got so many letters.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_02
I didn t know.
0
SPEAKER_01
So guess what?
0
SPEAKER_02
Look at it now while you can, because good night.
0
SPEAKER_02
Los Angeles.
0
SPEAKER_01
Irene.
0
SPEAKER_01
You know, when you re on a movie, they have dulling spray.
0
SPEAKER_01
They spray on stuff so it doesn t kick on camera.
0
SPEAKER_01
Right.
0
SPEAKER_01
We could have done that.
0
SPEAKER_02
It accidentally spilled on me.
0
SPEAKER_01
Those are decent cords, though.
0
SPEAKER_02
Well, I don t buy anything.
0
SPEAKER_02
I don t have anything.
0
SPEAKER_02
I m a minimalist.
0
SPEAKER_02
I didn t realize it.
0
SPEAKER_02
I don t do anything or buy anything.
0
SPEAKER_01
I know, you re Scrooge McDuck on a pile of money.
0
SPEAKER_02
Wait a minute, let me break down that.
0
SPEAKER_01
Wait a minute.
0
SPEAKER_01
He s got all the money that goes to the guy there.
0
SPEAKER_02
I was allergic to money.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that was Scrooge McDuck sneezing?
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, he s over a pile of money.
0
SPEAKER_01
Shit, you won t see that anywhere else.
0
SPEAKER_02
All right, that s act one.
0
SPEAKER_02
What else?
0
SPEAKER_01
No, I m going to tell you about my weekend.
0
SPEAKER_01
The only highlight was- The internet game is the weekend.
0
SPEAKER_01
I went to the Grove to see Godzilla versus King Kong.
0
SPEAKER_01
I would do that if I could.
0
SPEAKER_01
You have to be kind of in the mood for that kind of movie.
0
SPEAKER_01
I was ready for it, I went, I paid my $70, whatever it is, to go to a movie.
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t know anymore.
0
SPEAKER_01
Popcorn?
0
SPEAKER_02
No.
0
SPEAKER_02
Because I used to say to my brother, we go to a movie, and then we go to the snack bar, and I said, what are you going to get?
0
SPEAKER_02
And he goes, everything.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that was the Garth Brother.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, there s popcorn, and then peanut M&Ms, or something like that.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, pour in them.
0
SPEAKER_02
Pour in them.
0
SPEAKER_02
So you re going in, let s just set the scene, you re at the Grove Stadium.
0
SPEAKER_02
I m fucking raw-dogging it, nothing.
0
SPEAKER_02
You paid $70, you re there by yourself.
0
SPEAKER_01
No, I had a friend with me.
0
SPEAKER_02
You have a guy with you just in case there s any attacks.
0
SPEAKER_02
No females want to see fucking King Kong.
0
SPEAKER_02
So, okay, so now.
0
SPEAKER_01
So I go in.
0
SPEAKER_02
What happens next?
0
SPEAKER_01
I sit through the 44 minutes of commercials.
0
SPEAKER_01
I know.
0
SPEAKER_01
You see it like, you know, there s Nicole Kidman.
0
SPEAKER_01
She gets applause now for that dumb AMC thing.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then they show commercials, then previews, and then another commercial.
0
SPEAKER_01
When I saw Top Gun, you re almost about to see it.
0
SPEAKER_01
Then Tom Cruise comes on and he goes,
0
SPEAKER_01
Welcome to the movie and thanks for coming.
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, we re already here, go, we don t need you.
0
SPEAKER_02
I know, I thought that was a bold move, because in a minute, he s going to be Captain Maguire or something.
0
SPEAKER_02
Hi, I m Tom Cruise.
0
SPEAKER_02
In 30 seconds, you ll see me pretending.
0
SPEAKER_02
I ll look exactly like this, but suspend disbelief.
0
SPEAKER_02
Enjoy the movie.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, why one more commercial?
0
SPEAKER_02
You got us.
0
SPEAKER_02
I go to a movie at 12, at 12, 15 start.
0
SPEAKER_02
The movie starts at four o clock.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that s true.
0
SPEAKER_02
Let s just put it, say it, whatever.
0
SPEAKER_01
I stayed at Cheesecake Factory the longest, I knew that.
0
SPEAKER_01
So I go in, Godzilla versus Kong.
0
SPEAKER_01
I naively thought, innocently, that Godzilla and Kong could be friends.
0
SPEAKER_01
Not a chance.
0
SPEAKER_01
So that was your first mistake.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I walk in, I go, maybe they re buddies.
0
SPEAKER_01
No, it s not a two-hander.
0
SPEAKER_01
Did you see any of the trailers where they re chasing each other with Bangs Barry?
0
SPEAKER_01
I know, I think it s just, when you re a monster, you just like the challenge of other monsters.
0
SPEAKER_02
I thought the Wicked Witch would be really friends with the Midget and the Wizard of Oz.
0
SPEAKER_02
I thought they d dance together.
0
SPEAKER_01
I would too at that age.
0
SPEAKER_02
We represent the lollipop.
0
SPEAKER_02
You need a bad guy.
0
SPEAKER_01
This movie is two bad guys.
0
SPEAKER_01
Kong versus Skunks, doesn t make sense.
0
SPEAKER_01
So anyway, they come out, Godzilla, who has like an American eagle head.
0
SPEAKER_01
He s not that attractive because it doesn t match his monster body.
0
SPEAKER_01
No wonder he s single.
0
SPEAKER_01
He s got a tiny skull, tiny skull, huge shoulders.
0
SPEAKER_01
Godzilla is the new Godzilla has a little head, big shoulders.
0
SPEAKER_02
Oh, these kind of fat.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, he s kind of he s Trump.
0
SPEAKER_02
He s got Trump s kind of pear shaped body.
0
SPEAKER_02
I m
0
SPEAKER_02
You ve got a terrific weight down here.
0
SPEAKER_02
I m kind of thin up here.
0
SPEAKER_02
The shoulders are kind of tiny.
0
SPEAKER_02
The bottom is huge.
0
SPEAKER_02
The legs are huge.
0
SPEAKER_02
No, but I heard Trump is really pear shaped.
0
SPEAKER_02
I knew a guy went golfing with him once.
0
SPEAKER_02
No, I think he is.
0
SPEAKER_02
I think that s pretty obvious.
0
SPEAKER_02
He s got quite a rump on me.
1
SPEAKER_02
And he says, King Kong, everyone s saying bad things about him, he s okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s got a fat ass.
1
SPEAKER_02
Get out of here, Joe.
1
SPEAKER_02
So here comes Kong and Godzilla and they fight immediately.
1
SPEAKER_02
All my hopes are dashed.
1
SPEAKER_01
Go ahead.
1
SPEAKER_01
Did Dolly Parton write the soundtrack?
1
SPEAKER_01
Because it d be like, here you come again.
1
SPEAKER_01
Looking like a fat lizard five stories tall.
1
SPEAKER_01
That I had a fight with.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so Kong- Best non sequitur of Superfly, take one.
1
SPEAKER_02
Dolly.
1
SPEAKER_01
Dolly.
1
SPEAKER_02
So he s, you sometimes block my camera when you ask questions.
1
SPEAKER_02
I m not gonna let you finish the story by the way.
1
SPEAKER_02
So I, that s pretty much it.
1
SPEAKER_01
You wrote a review.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, so the review is Dolly Parton.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, did you enjoy it?
1
SPEAKER_01
I m curious just as a fan.
1
SPEAKER_02
Well, Godzilla gets jacked up by nuclear energy.
1
SPEAKER_02
So he has to run around all the nuclear pants and huff.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s how he gets- And it becomes super Godzilla.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, and he gets crazy.
1
SPEAKER_02
And I m like, fucking no one s whispering this to Kong because he s gonna lose quickly, I can tell, because he s just a monkey, who cares?
1
SPEAKER_02
And then there s a deaf girl in the movie that tries to help.
1
SPEAKER_02
She s from an Iwi tribe and she can talk to Kong.
1
SPEAKER_02
So like when Kong gets stabbed, he falls on the ground and the deaf girl s like this.
1
SPEAKER_01
But she s not dumb and blind because I m a big fan.
1
SPEAKER_02
No, she can talk.
1
SPEAKER_02
She s just okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
She s not deaf and dumb and blind.
1
SPEAKER_01
That guy.
1
SPEAKER_01
Sure.
1
SPEAKER_02
Not like, not like Tommy.
1
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_02
So she goes, does sign language to Kong, and then he goes like this, and then she goes, Kong s hurt.
1
SPEAKER_02
I go, well, no shit, Sherlock.
1
SPEAKER_02
He just got stabbed.
1
SPEAKER_02
I mean, we don t need the Long Island medium for this one.
1
SPEAKER_01
We figured that part out.
1
SPEAKER_01
Remind me after you finish your review, I ll do my Long Island medium.
1
SPEAKER_02
Please.
1
SPEAKER_02
When I go in to get my hair cut, I go, give me the Long Island medium.
1
SPEAKER_01
I like it today, because it looks unkept.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s like bedhead.
1
SPEAKER_01
It is.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s good, though.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s accidentally looks good.
1
SPEAKER_02
We re gonna get comments and fucking,
1
SPEAKER_02
i don t care i love the comments so i love the rage the radiation is is good but when he lifts his leg you can tell his balls are smaller it doesn t it doesn t is that a joke or you really see his testicles it s a piece i look okay because in most of the reviews i read they said
1
SPEAKER_01
Disappointingly, no Kong testicles were available.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, Godzilla has small balls because he drinks radiation.
1
SPEAKER_01
Of course, he s got so much fat and so much stuff, the testicles are fine.
1
SPEAKER_01
They almost disappear.
1
SPEAKER_01
But the bottom and the thighs are so big, it s an optical illusion.
1
SPEAKER_02
That s the end.
1
SPEAKER_02
So at the end, Godzilla is a good guy and then the whole town likes him.
1
SPEAKER_02
He s like throwing out a pitch at the Yankees.
1
SPEAKER_02
But don t tell me who wins.
1
SPEAKER_02
Well, it s more like... I won t even mention Mothra because... Mothra makes an appearance?
1
SPEAKER_02
There are too many spoilers.
1
SPEAKER_01
Fuck.
1
SPEAKER_02
But I would say it s if you want to be confused and you have three and a half hours, go.
1
SPEAKER_02
Sarah, it s Spade and Dana, and no one cares about your 50th anniversary dumb interview.
1
SPEAKER_02
I was so excited when I got the call for us.
1
SPEAKER_02
Call us, and you ll be on camera.
1
SPEAKER_02
And it ll be seen by at least 3,200 people.
1
SPEAKER_02
Right.
1
SPEAKER_02
We get a lot of YouTube comments, which mean nothing.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
So you can t call us.
1
SPEAKER_01
We re officially 1 1,000th of Joe Rogan s audience.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
We have a lot of people that watch our show that also watch Joe Rogan, if that means anything.
1
SPEAKER_02
And his brother, Biff Rogan.
1
SPEAKER_02
Get that mulligan.
1
SPEAKER_02
Get that mullet.
1
SPEAKER_02
This is going nowhere.
1
SPEAKER_02
This is going to be, this voicemail is going to be cut after we read through it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Don t make me sneeze again as Donald Duck.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, that was so good.
1
SPEAKER_01
I will do it if we need it.
1
SPEAKER_01
That was so good.
1
SPEAKER_01
I haven t done that in a while.
1
SPEAKER_01
I actually was sneezing.
1
SPEAKER_01
Shit.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
What s going on?
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, Long Island Medium.
1
SPEAKER_01
She s like, what was it?
1
SPEAKER_01
She never says the loved ones, are they in heaven?
1
SPEAKER_01
What is it?
1
SPEAKER_01
What s he saying to you?
1
SPEAKER_01
He said he liked his socks.
1
SPEAKER_01
He liked the yellow socks.
1
SPEAKER_01
He did.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s in the afterlife and he s communicating with us.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he said he liked the yellow socks that he had in the drawer, but he didn t say anything about meeting God.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, he just really liked those socks.
1
SPEAKER_02
That s what he s wasting his time with in heaven?
1
SPEAKER_01
It goes from there, more sort of little things, you know?
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, and then they re like, why is he talking about that?
1
SPEAKER_01
Why is he talking about that?
1
SPEAKER_01
He likes it when you gave, he liked the warm blanket you had.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, he didn t have a special warm blanket.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, couldn t you have got him a blanket?
1
SPEAKER_01
He died of pneumonia.
1
SPEAKER_01
Couldn t he have gotten a blanket?
1
SPEAKER_01
So then she turns on him.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, she just, doesn t he make sense?
1
SPEAKER_02
And then she flips it on him.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_02
These are tight as fucking shit, aren t they?
1
Fuck.
1
SPEAKER_01
We are experiencing technical difficulties.
1
SPEAKER_01
Please stand by.
1
SPEAKER_01
So how are you?
1
SPEAKER_01
Nice to meet you, Bethany.
1
SPEAKER_00
Nice to meet you too.
1
SPEAKER_00
This is so exciting.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s Dana.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, we have a little counter.
1
SPEAKER_01
There s 36 people watching us right now.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, there s not.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s a lot.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s the most we ve ever had.
1
SPEAKER_02
No, this is just, we tape it because we have a video one now so we can see you, which is way better.
1
SPEAKER_00
Right.
1
SPEAKER_00
And it would be make you insecure if it was only six thirty six people because you are comedians.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
That s a big crowd for me, though.
1
SPEAKER_01
Are you hydrating with a sort of energy drink?
1
SPEAKER_00
I m hydrate.
1
SPEAKER_00
I have like severe.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m a thirsty bitch.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m a very dehydrated person by nature.
1
SPEAKER_00
I always have like multiple beverages.
1
SPEAKER_01
Do you mind if I use that for a song title?
1
SPEAKER_01
Thirsty bitch.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m just saying.
1
SPEAKER_00
I do not.
1
SPEAKER_00
I do not mind.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m a thirsty dude.
1
SPEAKER_02
Listen, the fun s over.
1
SPEAKER_02
We have to find out about the crime.
1
SPEAKER_02
So the crime in hand, Dana, there s a story going on.
1
SPEAKER_02
I always fill Dana in, but there s not one guy, probably random guys running around.
1
SPEAKER_02
I think they re guys, New York and punching girls in the face.
1
SPEAKER_02
Is that close so far, Bethany?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes, it was funny because when I was thinking about that we were going to talk today I was thinking about the fact that you guys aren t originally from New York but lived in New York when you were doing SNL and what that perspective was like what your version of vision of crime was then I was thinking of pre Giuliani and the 70s and then I was thinking of how
1
SPEAKER_00
I think of it now, how like some guy wrote an article during the pandemic about crime, Seinfeld pushed back on it.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s been a discussion and there s been like a defensiveness about it because New Yorkers want to gaslight and pretend it s not actually happening and close their eyes and pretend they re not seeing it.
1
SPEAKER_00
So that s why I think that s an interesting discussion.
1
SPEAKER_02
When we had crime, it was crime, but it was like big crime.
1
SPEAKER_02
Like there s a bank robber and they catch him, they d go to jail.
1
SPEAKER_02
There s no real,
1
SPEAKER_02
crime and punishment anymore.
1
SPEAKER_02
It seems it s watered down a little bit.
1
SPEAKER_02
So there s crime and there s not as much punishment, and that makes more crime in my rough math in my head.
1
SPEAKER_02
So when things happen like this, they sort of go unnoticed and swept under the rug.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, to insert this for a second, once you get used to it, like in the 80s, it was pretty rough.
1
SPEAKER_01
I lived there in 81 as well.
1
SPEAKER_01
But then I came back and like, after Giuliani, I don t know what he did, but my wife and I are walking around New York and we re not looking over our shoulder.
1
SPEAKER_01
And he said, well, what happened?
1
SPEAKER_01
And then Times Square became like Disneyland.
1
SPEAKER_01
So then the juxtaposition was like, this was possible?
1
SPEAKER_01
Like what happened?
1
SPEAKER_00
Right.
1
SPEAKER_00
Right.
1
SPEAKER_00
Right.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, the Giuliani was the not fucking around crew.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so that s very interesting, especially when you re dealing with a jungle like New York.
1
SPEAKER_00
And it was left kind of unguarded during the pandemic.
1
SPEAKER_00
And the inmates are running the asylum.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so from a superficial standpoint, if you go into CVS, mascara and eyelashes are locked up like shampoo.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like it s so, so bad for business to begin with because you can t go in there and just pick something up and go pay for it.
1
SPEAKER_00
You have to like
1
SPEAKER_00
all four people and a supervisor to get a mascara.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, so that s because anybody could steal anything they want.
1
SPEAKER_02
And a problem, Bethany, just so I can interrupt you for sure, at least once, is that when these stores, when you see that happening, they re sort of counting on a good-natured, normal person with morals saying, oh, I ll pay.
1
SPEAKER_02
These people just carry stuff out.
1
SPEAKER_02
At some point, someone s gonna go, why am I paying?
1
SPEAKER_02
It s just as easy to walk straight out.
1
SPEAKER_02
I feel like hardworking people are getting the shout.
1
SPEAKER_00
By the way, it s 100 percent.
1
SPEAKER_00
It goes through your mind.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, it s harder to pay than to not pay.
1
SPEAKER_01
Right.
1
SPEAKER_01
Right.
1
SPEAKER_00
And people are to pay.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
And what was your blink?
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, you were considering getting a place there, but you change your mind.
1
SPEAKER_01
Was it worse than you thought?
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, you obviously got slapped or hit in the face.
1
SPEAKER_01
We ll get to that in a second.
1
SPEAKER_01
But is it feel worse than.
1
SPEAKER_01
Ever.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, I ultimately it feels really bad.
1
SPEAKER_00
And David said it well, in the sense that not everything is like the most gigantic thing.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, the numbers don t lie, but like I wouldn t have my daughter who s turning 14 on the subway by herself, which some of her friends do.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s sort of been something she mentioned fluently.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, absolutely not.
1
SPEAKER_00
What a daredevil walking around.
1
SPEAKER_00
What?
1
SPEAKER_00
Sorry.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s like a daredevil move to go on the subway alone now.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think what you re going to say is there s two lanes of this is the actual crime.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then there s the threat of the crime.
2
SPEAKER_01
So, you know, I was in a CVS in West Hollywood.
2
SPEAKER_01
All of a sudden they re screaming on the other side of the store.
2
SPEAKER_01
So your day is, you know, you re tense, you re worried.
2
SPEAKER_01
So the psychology of New York, I had a friend move and he just said everyone is angry.
2
SPEAKER_01
Every so and he loved New York.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I have one daughter and
2
SPEAKER_00
it s unfortunate that like I m putting the fear of death in her.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I don t even think she wants to listen anymore because every time I see something that actually has happened in New York, like the punching of the face or the other thing, and like you said, we ll get into it.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m constantly like almost badgering her because I m so helpless that when she s with her dad, she s in New York and she s sometimes like, oh, we just were here.
2
SPEAKER_00
Or I have something on my phone that says where she was like, wait, what do you mean?
2
SPEAKER_00
How d you get there?
2
SPEAKER_00
How did you get home?
2
SPEAKER_00
I am now a helicopter parent about this thing, because you re right when I m in a drugstore.
2
SPEAKER_00
My shoulders are up like any human that s near me.
2
SPEAKER_00
I feel like they re going to do something to me.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, for sure.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yep.
2
SPEAKER_00
In the city.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
And so you got and you were one of the ones, I think, before this turned into, let s call it a TikTok trend, unfortunately.
2
SPEAKER_02
But that s what it when it s on TikTok.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s what they call things.
2
SPEAKER_02
But so you got hit.
2
SPEAKER_02
Females, for some reason, are getting hit.
2
SPEAKER_01
Just tell us that.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Tell us a story real quick.
2
SPEAKER_00
So yeah, yeah, I ultimately did get a place later than this, which is another conversation because but in a different area because I wanted to be safe and I had reasons because of work because I didn t want to be like constantly in a hotel room with a garment bag, like a hooker that I am.
2
SPEAKER_00
But so separately, I was on this.
2
SPEAKER_01
And a thirsty bitch.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and a thirsty bitch.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I was in New York City.
2
SPEAKER_00
I think it was like 72nd and West End, which sounds like kind of fancy to me, like West End.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was a new area that I was going to look at, and the building was pre-war super fancy.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I was ironically excited because I like doings around where I m going to look like, oh, is there a shoe repair or a nail place?
2
SPEAKER_00
And so there was this little deli and then a little bakery kind of right next to each other.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I walked in and it was this tiny place that had all these different kinds of desserts that I was interested in.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I took my phone out because to take a picture of them.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I turned around and a guy just as I was walking out the door just whacked me in the face.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I have a driver who is, you know, he s an Albanian tough guy.
2
SPEAKER_00
He s a security guy, but he wasn t in the store with me.
2
SPEAKER_00
He was outside by the car.
2
SPEAKER_00
And when I walked out, I made eye contact with him, like, you know, something went down with this guy.
2
SPEAKER_00
And he came over and they had words.
2
SPEAKER_00
And the guy was homeless and he seemed
2
SPEAKER_00
Unwell, I mean, he just seemed unhinged and unwell.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I was I said, it just wasn t a situation where I felt like calling the police because it felt like this guy was troubled enough on his own.
2
SPEAKER_00
I mean, you know, he s going to be there for a night and more anxiety and they re going to let him out.
2
SPEAKER_00
I just thought.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then he might have a vendetta against you because you threw him in.
2
SPEAKER_01
You just pay a big price when you go through life on guard and tense, even if you re not directly affected.
2
SPEAKER_01
And when you go to other places outside of the city, like in the country somewhere, and then you go, well, this is the way it s supposed to be.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m not supposed to be worried at a pharmacy or just walking down in front of my house.
2
SPEAKER_01
So it s sad to hear this, and I hope that they fix it.
2
SPEAKER_02
And it s interesting because this is sort of, might sound mean, but when they say, oh, someone was mentally ill,
2
SPEAKER_02
or they attack someone and then they have a problem with the police.
2
SPEAKER_02
but they say, oh, but he s, they always claim, oh, but he s mentally ill, so let him go.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s like, well, listen, that doesn t mean you re not gonna hit someone with a brick.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s the people you want sort of pulled in somewhere to get looked at.
2
SPEAKER_01
Someone has a mental illness that, you know, encourages violence inside their brain.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s a whole other topic.
2
SPEAKER_02
Every serial killer is mentally ill.
2
SPEAKER_02
Obviously, they re not supposed to kill people.
2
SPEAKER_02
So that s not the best excuse to say we should leave him alone and let him roam around.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s like- It s not.
2
SPEAKER_00
it s not but there s a version of compassionate.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, there s a version of intellectual understanding that the pandemic drove a lot of us who were sitting home and who are not broke, crazy.
2
SPEAKER_00
And so you re thinking about the desperate, it s the thing is, there s a feeling of desperation.
2
SPEAKER_00
And you can like it s palpable.
2
SPEAKER_00
When you re near somebody on the street, like there s a good chance if you see somebody kind of close to you, they re gonna just start screaming or go off.
2
SPEAKER_00
And there s the mental illness thing.
2
SPEAKER_00
And you re seeing it in other cities, too.
2
SPEAKER_00
I saw it when I was in LA, San Francisco is, you know, a wild town now.
2
SPEAKER_00
So
2
SPEAKER_00
It is this post-pandemic thing.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then instead of like being the not fucking around crew, like the Giuliani situation, sort of just like letting, if you let all your kids in the classrooms do whatever they want, it s not going to be a great situation.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s what s going on.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that s exactly.
2
SPEAKER_01
So was that the first time you met John Lovitz when you got slapped?
2
SPEAKER_02
When he punched you?
2
SPEAKER_00
That s so funny.
2
SPEAKER_00
I did meet John Lovitz years ago with Shannon, my friend Shannon.
2
SPEAKER_00
And he was early.
2
SPEAKER_00
He was an early adapter, smacking people.
2
SPEAKER_01
A good friend of ours.
2
SPEAKER_01
And we always use him as a punching bag.
2
SPEAKER_01
Are you jealous of my right hook?
2
SPEAKER_01
I heard what you said to Bethany.
2
SPEAKER_01
Are you saying I m homeless?
2
SPEAKER_01
No i agree we try to make light of this but it is it is such a complicated situation you re just, sucker punch and you remember it forever that that s that really scares you and you know you paint a good well i i kind of feel like.
2
SPEAKER_01
I feel what New York is like right now and I don t want it to be that way.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m so fond of New York and love New York.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t want it to be angry and suggest.
2
SPEAKER_00
But we re talking about specifics and the thing is it is a whole macro situation because if I go there and then I text the realtor, screw this, I don t wanna live here.
2
SPEAKER_00
This place is nuts because I identify the entire place with that experience.
2
SPEAKER_00
Plus I go to a normal drug store and things are in cages, then it s going to affect the real estate market and the economy.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then it s really going to be a circular reference
2
SPEAKER_02
I think that s what s happening, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
And Jerry Seinfeld, I hate to say because I love him and I know you guys love him, but he was wrong when he responded to that guy s open letter.
2
SPEAKER_00
The guy I think was named Steven and he wrote an open letter about New York in the beginning of the pandemic and Jerry got really annoyed and he wrote an open letter and it s kind of not been great.
2
SPEAKER_02
I think it s gotten exponentially worse even since then.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s what I m saying.
2
SPEAKER_00
Me, too.
2
SPEAKER_02
I think I yeah, I agree.
2
SPEAKER_02
He loves New York.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I do, too.
2
SPEAKER_02
We stayed there for our whole run of SNL.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
All right.
2
SPEAKER_02
We ll let you go.
2
SPEAKER_02
But that s very nice of you to jump on with.
2
SPEAKER_02
Thanks, Bethany.
2
SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
2
SPEAKER_00
Thanks, you guys.
2
SPEAKER_00
I like funny.
2
SPEAKER_00
You got funny guys having good, important conversations.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m impressed.
2
SPEAKER_01
I d love to have more of a weird combo, but it s where I m sick of the funny part.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m kind of Hey, Dana, are you going to New York not gonna do it?
2
SPEAKER_01
Thank you bye David
2
SPEAKER_02
Can we call her collect next time?
2
SPEAKER_02
We ll bill her for that call.
2
SPEAKER_00
She s such a wealth of knowledge.
2
SPEAKER_00
She spits it all out.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, it s just fun when you re not trying to be politically incorrect.
2
SPEAKER_01
And we re still in the mode of like, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
We have another subject about one was the tick tock.
2
SPEAKER_02
There s an article in your New York Times, it says, TikTok, people quit filming yourself getting punched and talking about it because it starts to trend.
2
SPEAKER_02
So it s another thing where they blame the people instead of the crime.
2
SPEAKER_02
Show a picture of one of the people that got hit, one of the girls got hit if we have one, because they actually get nailed.
2
SPEAKER_02
Look at this.
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, that s a little baby one, see that left corner, but it is a goose egg.
2
SPEAKER_02
if you can see it.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then there was a blonde, look at that.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s a full egg on her forehead.
2
SPEAKER_01
This is like my, Brian, shut up, Brian.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s a whole trend.
2
SPEAKER_01
We got to go to punch a woman because I saw it on TikTok.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t know if it s cooler to punch or get punched.
2
SPEAKER_01
We ll look at TikTok, we ll figure it out.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, one s the aggressor, one s the victim, I think, you know?
2
SPEAKER_01
No.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I m kidding.
2
SPEAKER_01
But it is just kind of funny.
2
SPEAKER_01
A guy who s never hit a woman in his life is on TikTok.
2
SPEAKER_02
I know, they start punching.
2
SPEAKER_02
They start jizzing over there.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s really just, I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_01
Did you ever see Clockwork Orange?
2
SPEAKER_02
That s a weird one, but yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s about society just collapsing under this and the criminals take over.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s sort of what s going on quietly.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s Escape from New York and you re Kurt Russell?
2
SPEAKER_01
Snake Pilsen, I was going for the actual name.
2
SPEAKER_02
Snake Plissken.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, Plissken.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re Snake Plissken.
2
SPEAKER_02
Fuck yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re our only hope of a troubled nation.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God, I hope it doesn t come to that.
2
SPEAKER_01
They re slapping people, they re punching people on my watch.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re not gonna see it.
2
SPEAKER_02
No, but look at this one.
2
SPEAKER_02
This is a good story.
2
SPEAKER_02
So a guy was at Subway.
2
SPEAKER_02
Do you have that one, Greg?
2
SPEAKER_02
Guy s at Subway waiting in line.
2
SPEAKER_02
And the guy in front of him, of course, starts hassling the employee, spits on her, punches her twice.
2
SPEAKER_02
And the guy behind is a wrestler.
2
SPEAKER_02
And he just takes him down right away.
2
SPEAKER_02
I love it.
2
SPEAKER_02
No one gets involved anymore.
2
SPEAKER_02
I know he let her punch twice.
2
SPEAKER_02
He says, one, I ll give you the trend.
2
SPEAKER_02
Two, you re going down.
2
SPEAKER_02
So he tackled him and he goes, I didn t want to beat him up too bad.
2
SPEAKER_02
I love this dude.
2
SPEAKER_02
And he goes, but I held him and said, you re not going away until the cops come.
2
SPEAKER_02
You can stop fighting.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m a pro wrestler.
3
SPEAKER_01
and the guy s like, oh, love it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I love those stories.
3
SPEAKER_01
Death Wish, Charles Bronson, come on.
3
SPEAKER_02
Fight back.
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, because we were bullied.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, of course.
3
SPEAKER_02
Right?
3
SPEAKER_02
I mean, if I was, you know.
3
SPEAKER_02
Gabrielle Pizzullo, stud.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s who did it, stud.
3
SPEAKER_02
Let s make this entire episode about this.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, we re moving on.
3
SPEAKER_01
Random violence.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, we re going to later fair.
3
SPEAKER_02
Bethany s back, Bethany s back.
3
SPEAKER_01
What s the next one, Golden Bachelor, what do we got?
3
SPEAKER_02
Just lighten up the people who are watching.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh no, this is fun, this is fun.
3
SPEAKER_02
Uh-oh.
3
SPEAKER_01
This is good news.
3
SPEAKER_01
The conjoined twins, Abby and whoever.
3
SPEAKER_02
We went from violence to.
3
SPEAKER_01
They got married.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, we re back to lighter fare.
3
SPEAKER_01
This is a feel-good story.
3
SPEAKER_02
I love them.
3
SPEAKER_01
I actually like the taller one.
3
SPEAKER_02
When they took math, they really put their heads together.
3
SPEAKER_01
I know, there s too many.
3
SPEAKER_02
Too many?
3
SPEAKER_01
I have too many good jokes.
3
SPEAKER_02
Sorry.
3
SPEAKER_02
I didn t even think I had a joke.
3
SPEAKER_01
They said they have three vaginas.
3
SPEAKER_01
That doesn t make any sense, does it?
3
SPEAKER_02
Three.
3
SPEAKER_02
You think they d have one or two?
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, once nature gets a little distortive, it ll start just playing with the recipe.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s churning out.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Waste down, they share everything.
3
SPEAKER_00
Only one set of everything, waste down.
3
SPEAKER_00
So if they have diarrhea... That s the first question.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t want to think about it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Just one set of the poops only.
3
SPEAKER_02
I hear that it s so bonding that sometimes even though they can get separated, they decide to stay together.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s what I heard.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh, you mean if they could... Well, they re so connected, like literally and figuratively.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, that s people... Everything s a pun right now.
3
SPEAKER_01
...that are joined at the head.
3
SPEAKER_01
At the head, but the bodies are separate.
3
SPEAKER_01
And they have two bodies.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I could imagine they re used to it.
3
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
But these two are joined at the body, so they couldn t do anything.
3
SPEAKER_01
But when the husband marries, who does he pick?
3
SPEAKER_01
The other one feels like an asshole.
3
SPEAKER_01
He s like, well, it s like The Bachelor.
3
SPEAKER_01
Who gets the final rose?
3
SPEAKER_01
Gives it, because they re twins, gives it to one, the tall one, probably.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then the other one is like, well, I guess I ll just sit here and watch you bone my sister.
3
SPEAKER_02
Sorry.
3
SPEAKER_02
Just cancel me now.
3
SPEAKER_02
So one has got a husband and they re making out and having sex.
3
SPEAKER_01
And the other one is just there for the party.
3
SPEAKER_01
And he s like, you can bring your ugly sister.
3
SPEAKER_01
She s like, well, we re twins.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s a little rude.
3
SPEAKER_02
Um, you know, for some guys, that s a turn on some guys.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s a non-starter for Trump.
3
SPEAKER_02
It happened to him.
3
SPEAKER_02
They were two together.
3
SPEAKER_02
One.
3
SPEAKER_02
I love beautiful, but the heads were together.
3
SPEAKER_02
I wasn t going to go there.
3
SPEAKER_02
So.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think that s enough on those guys.
3
SPEAKER_01
We have we got good stuff.
3
SPEAKER_02
What s our where s our feel good?
3
SPEAKER_01
That s a feel good.
3
SPEAKER_02
This is the darkest.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
We re supposed to do fun stories we ve ever done.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, no.
3
SPEAKER_01
Bachelor.
3
SPEAKER_02
Broken.
3
SPEAKER_02
Broken.
3
SPEAKER_02
Love.
3
SPEAKER_02
Love.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
No.
3
SPEAKER_01
The Bachelor.
3
SPEAKER_02
OK, read it because people are dry.
3
SPEAKER_01
Golden Bachelor and his wife are still living separately three months after their dream TV wedding.
3
SPEAKER_01
Right.
3
SPEAKER_01
Don t.
3
SPEAKER_01
I hope this doesn t hint that reality shows are a scam.
3
SPEAKER_01
I do not want to hear this bullshit.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s just like the Easter Bunny s not real or Santa Claus didn t come down the chimney.
3
SPEAKER_02
I mean, this is right up there with me.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m, I m fully traumatized, but there, what I thought was maybe they re doing a couple s thing like separate bedrooms.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
We like each other better now.
3
SPEAKER_02
Why don t you take the house down the street now?
3
SPEAKER_02
We re really have a good relationship.
3
SPEAKER_02
I think that s happening.
3
SPEAKER_02
Way more than you know.
3
SPEAKER_02
But they re states away.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s really love.
3
SPEAKER_02
But their phone sex bill is massive.
3
SPEAKER_01
He goes, I m too tired to even have phone sex.
3
SPEAKER_02
No, she s like, come on.
3
SPEAKER_02
She calls him by his age.
3
SPEAKER_02
Come on, 73.
3
SPEAKER_02
What are you going to do, 73?
3
SPEAKER_02
Come on, do it.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like he s a basketball player.
3
SPEAKER_01
You like it like that, 73?
3
SPEAKER_01
Huh?
3
SPEAKER_01
Huh?
3
SPEAKER_02
And he s like, yes, 68.
3
SPEAKER_01
Here s your Viagra smoothie from marijuana.
3
SPEAKER_01
Why is sex talk always angry?
3
SPEAKER_01
What are you going to do?
3
SPEAKER_01
You like that shit?
3
SPEAKER_02
Huh?
3
SPEAKER_02
You like it?
3
SPEAKER_02
Why is it so mad?
3
SPEAKER_01
When you say it to girls, they go, is that a rhetorical question?
3
SPEAKER_01
You like that shit?
3
SPEAKER_01
So I do or I don t.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, look, I think they re adorable and I think through a surrogate they should make a human being and raise it and call the human being David Spade.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s good.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m in two different bits now.
3
SPEAKER_02
As long as I get a laugh in the room, you can use my name too, but you re famous.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s a funny name.
3
SPEAKER_01
David Spade is funny.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s funnier to use me, but oh, here s, well, last thing I was going to say, who was hornier out of those two on the Golden Bachelor?
3
SPEAKER_01
I think the
3
SPEAKER_01
I think the female was.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay, now this is Squatterburger, Danny.
3
SPEAKER_01
You ll like this.
3
SPEAKER_02
This is me trying to read.
3
SPEAKER_01
This is the squatter situation.
3
SPEAKER_02
The squatters, which I thought was kind of a joke, but it s a real truth.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you stay in someone s house for more than 15 minutes, you own it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think that s the rule.
3
SPEAKER_02
Damn it, my shins are coming out to play.
3
SPEAKER_02
Stay down there.
3
SPEAKER_01
Get those glare sticks away from me.
3
SPEAKER_02
Stay down there, fucking shins.
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, I told you, Theo Vaughn, I came in with short black sleeve.
3
SPEAKER_02
You come on in here with all those wide arms.
3
SPEAKER_01
With all your white arms.
3
SPEAKER_02
With all those white arms.
3
SPEAKER_02
And he was right.
3
SPEAKER_02
I looked at Monarch.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was like a fucking squid.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like a squiddy white, super white and black t-shirt.
3
SPEAKER_02
So then I bought this and all I wear.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, those are cool.
3
SPEAKER_01
Is it?
3
SPEAKER_01
Is that James First?
3
SPEAKER_02
No, The Gap.
3
$13.
3
SPEAKER_02
Don t act like it s a lot.
3
SPEAKER_01
You are.
3
SPEAKER_01
We re going to talk about your budget.
3
SPEAKER_01
I just take a money gun into James First.
3
SPEAKER_01
Nothing today.
3
SPEAKER_01
You ve seen Money Guns?
3
SPEAKER_02
No, I like the new effect.
3
SPEAKER_01
Rappers have it.
3
SPEAKER_01
They stack hundreds in and walk in a strip club and go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
3
SPEAKER_02
I know this camera s overheating a little bit.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh, overheating, okay, because I m overheating.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m glad the camera s overheating too.
3
SPEAKER_02
Because of your hotness?
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
Okay, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
You know what they named today?
3
SPEAKER_02
I was looking down SNL stuff.
3
SPEAKER_02
The best single cast.
3
SPEAKER_02
So they said, you know, like for me, they said 80.
3
SPEAKER_02
87, 88, but for 91, 92, they call it the best year of a single cast in the history of SNL.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, for real?
3
SPEAKER_01
Was I on that?
3
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_02
And they said, Dana Florfeld, myself, had left, and Chris Rock, and they didn t mention Mike Myers.
3
SPEAKER_02
It was you, Farley, Sandler.
3
SPEAKER_02
It was a great cast, but I was there in 91 and 92.
3
SPEAKER_02
It should have been the overlap with you, Mike, and then all of us.
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, that s what I thought.
3
SPEAKER_02
I thought that was the best, most potent year, that 92-3.
3
SPEAKER_02
But this year, guys, was great too.
3
SPEAKER_02
It was like when you took over, it was more like 94-5 or later 3-4-5.
3
SPEAKER_02
It was more of a 2-3-4 was pretty big, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
So I thought you guys were the funniest, honestly, when I came back to guest host.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I was in a room with you, Farley, and Sandler.
3
SPEAKER_02
I said, these guys are funnier than we were.
3
SPEAKER_02
We were good sketch players, but it s different.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s nice of you to say that.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s hard to see yourself the way everybody else.
3
SPEAKER_00
You guys had, those were the years.
3
SPEAKER_02
I know, it s like the little engine that could, but there was a couple of years there that you guys were kicking ass on that show.
3
SPEAKER_01
It does also take time to look back and appreciate.
3
SPEAKER_01
So the new cast now, I think later will look back and say, oh my God, those guys are so great.
3
SPEAKER_01
But at the time, it s never like your time right then.
3
SPEAKER_01
They never.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t want it to end.
3
SPEAKER_01
They didn t fawn over you.
3
SPEAKER_01
They didn t fawn over us.
3
SPEAKER_01
They waited till later.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then when we were there, they said, you guys are great.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then we left.
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, you always, whoever does it before you.
3
SPEAKER_02
I saw Martin Short in 78 on SCTV and I was like, and Steve Martin live at the boarding house.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I was like, they re doing what I want to do.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I was nowhere.
3
SPEAKER_02
So of course, then you see him later on and you re still a little bit in awe of them.
3
SPEAKER_00
Not to over talk her, but it s just so random that Bethany was an intern for SNL.
3
SPEAKER_00
and she had a catering company on the side, catered a Joe Dirt premiere party, and her business took off after that.
3
SPEAKER_00
Fun fact.
3
SPEAKER_00
But it s just funny the overlap you guys have had your whole life.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s kind of weird.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay, quickly, the last story about squatting is the funny part.
3
SPEAKER_01
They call it squatter burger because the people, you know, these people get in your home and then they don t
3
SPEAKER_01
And there shouldn t even be any squatters rights laws at all.
3
SPEAKER_01
Why is it someone steals your house?
3
SPEAKER_01
They can have it.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s so- No, it s called stealing.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s stealing.
3
SPEAKER_01
So these people said, no, we live there.
3
SPEAKER_01
And they go, we need proof that you live there.
3
SPEAKER_01
So they sent a Shake Shack receipt where they got an Uber Eats delivery and it had their address on it.
3
SPEAKER_01
That was one of their pieces of evidence.
3
SPEAKER_01
And it was like,
3
SPEAKER_01
What?
3
SPEAKER_01
They could be standing in front of their house in order.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s so stupid.
3
SPEAKER_01
The judge is like, okay, it all makes sense now.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
So anyway, that was, that was Squatterburger.
3
SPEAKER_01
Funny title though.
3
SPEAKER_02
I looked it up because I saw it on the preview of the episode and I couldn t find it.
3
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, Squatterburger is a funny title.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, that brings me to this one because that falls into, there s no way that s real.
3
SPEAKER_01
So this one I saw and I go, there s no way.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
It says Michigan s giving illegal migrants 6,000 each.
3
SPEAKER_01
If you move there, you have to have one condition.
3
SPEAKER_01
You have to be an illegal immigrant.
3
SPEAKER_01
The office stated that they re renting, they give you $6,000 towards rental of apartments, so you ll move there.
3
SPEAKER_01
This might be a fake story.
3
SPEAKER_02
A side story, because I was looking this up, is that they re giving people who have a home and an extra bedroom, they ll give them $500 a month to house a little
4
SPEAKER_04
illegal immigrants.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, in the extra bedroom?
4
SPEAKER_03
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_03
In London, if you re old and they deem that your house is too big for you, they ll make you sell it to them so they can house more people.
4
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, I get it.
4
SPEAKER_03
I love when people tell me this house is too big for me.
4
SPEAKER_03
I don t want them to steal that and start shoving people in here.
4
SPEAKER_03
Well, what s the next step?
4
SPEAKER_03
It s too fancy for you?
4
SPEAKER_03
They paint it really dull.
4
SPEAKER_04
It s just too fancy.
4
SPEAKER_03
No, you shouldn t wear cords.
4
SPEAKER_03
They re too young for you.
4
SPEAKER_03
We re going to take them away.
4
SPEAKER_04
Keep that shin down.
4
SPEAKER_04
I want more government telling me what to do.
4
SPEAKER_04
I dislike it.
4
SPEAKER_04
No, I like to be told.
4
SPEAKER_04
I like to be told what to wear.
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, I m looking at the California squatters  rights.
4
SPEAKER_03
What do they say?
4
SPEAKER_00
They actually have to pay taxes.
4
SPEAKER_00
In order to take over permanently, you have to live there openly for five years, but you re required to pay taxes while you re there as a squatter.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m surprised.
4
SPEAKER_03
But they can t kick you out right away.
4
SPEAKER_00
They can.
4
SPEAKER_00
You just have to go through a whole procedure of filing an eviction notice, and it says that you can.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
And that they don t necessarily have rights, but there s things to protect them if they do follow, they have to follow certain rules to be protected.
4
SPEAKER_03
It s like saying bank robber rights.
4
SPEAKER_03
If you re breaking the law, why do you have so many rights over a person that owns a house?
4
SPEAKER_03
Wouldn t that grind your onion if you bought a place?
4
SPEAKER_03
Like I just got that little fucking shit shack down South.
4
SPEAKER_03
If someone was there, I d be like, how do I get someone out?
4
SPEAKER_03
And they go, no, I own it now.
4
SPEAKER_03
I ve stayed here for four days.
4
SPEAKER_03
Like, get fucked.
4
SPEAKER_03
I turned the water on in my name.
4
SPEAKER_03
I m like, I didn t know how to do that.
4
SPEAKER_03
And they do it, and now they own it, and I gotta go through hire a lawyer.
4
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, it s the downstream consequences.
4
SPEAKER_04
There is no solution.
4
SPEAKER_04
There s only trade-offs.
4
SPEAKER_04
I would try to get into this country, apparently, from where everyone else is trying to get in.
4
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, I mean, it s- But when you came to Ellis Island, because I was there doing a benefit- Do you have a place there?
4
SPEAKER_03
No.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, you did a benefit there?
4
SPEAKER_03
Did you, for real?
4
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_04
And it s pretty profound.
4
SPEAKER_04
You walk around Ellis Island and you see what the immigrants coming off and what the rules were.
4
SPEAKER_04
And one of them was you will not become a ward of the state like you.
4
SPEAKER_04
And if you if you couldn t answer no to that, they put you back.
4
SPEAKER_03
What does that mean?
4
SPEAKER_04
A ward of the state?
4
SPEAKER_04
Government dole, government money.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, you couldn t be a burden.
4
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, couldn t be a burden.
4
SPEAKER_04
Maybe that s the way they said it.
4
SPEAKER_03
I think they crossed that part out.
4
SPEAKER_04
It was 1906.
4
SPEAKER_04
Now I m telling you, you can come in this here country, but you better not be a burden to society because that s where we draw the line.
4
SPEAKER_04
We welcome all immigrants and let s say become burden to society.
4
SPEAKER_04
Hello, I m David Spade.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, I thought that was Little Meech.
4
SPEAKER_03
Little Meech is a rapper apparently.
4
SPEAKER_03
He s got a broken finger, I didn t know that.
4
SPEAKER_04
That s Dr. Evil s son.
4
SPEAKER_03
I mean, it strikes again.
4
SPEAKER_03
I thought it was funny, he said, between Nickelodeon, Diddy, and that bridge, I don t trust shit these days.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, it s funny.
4
SPEAKER_04
Is that the slang, I don t?
4
SPEAKER_03
I like that.
4
SPEAKER_03
I just sort of figured it out, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_04
Between Nickelodeon, Diddy, and that bridge, I don t trust shit, shit.
4
SPEAKER_03
Now, what is your thoughts on the bridge, quickly?
4
SPEAKER_03
Was it an... I still think it s fishy, even though it s water.
4
SPEAKER_04
Well, what s the rumor of Diddy and the bridge?
4
SPEAKER_04
I don t keep up.
4
SPEAKER_04
No, Diddy is... I know we got arrested.
4
SPEAKER_03
Diddy got... He s saying between these three things that happened lately, there s some sketchy shit.
4
SPEAKER_04
Oh, and the bridge was the bridge.
4
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_03
The bridge was the one where the boat went like this.
4
SPEAKER_03
I thought it was Diddy.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh my God, we have... Look at this.
4
SPEAKER_03
Here s the big thing.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh my God, we have no control.
4
SPEAKER_03
Bam.
4
SPEAKER_03
That s what I thought was fishy, I m like, you don t do a button hook when you re running patterns.
4
SPEAKER_03
It looked like it just drifted in, it didn t take a right angle.
4
SPEAKER_03
Did it though?
4
SPEAKER_03
I didn t see a turn.
4
SPEAKER_03
I did.
4
SPEAKER_03
I m just starting trouble.
4
SPEAKER_04
Oh, come on, I took the train across the bridge with friends of friends.
4
SPEAKER_04
Took the train many times in the choo-choo train across the bridge.
4
SPEAKER_04
Uh, there was never a train on the bridge.
4
SPEAKER_04
Holy fuck.
4
SPEAKER_04
I m reading the wrong stuff cards.
4
SPEAKER_03
All right, next one.
4
SPEAKER_03
Biden not working.
4
SPEAKER_03
I thought that was funny.
4
SPEAKER_03
Heather looks sad.
4
SPEAKER_03
We re going too long, aren t we?
4
SPEAKER_03
What is this?
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, this is a fun one.
4
SPEAKER_03
I had nothing on this other than robots giving hand jobs.
4
SPEAKER_03
No, a hand job from a robot is the worst.
4
SPEAKER_03
They, cause they re masseuses now.
4
SPEAKER_03
That s, I forgot to say that part.
4
SPEAKER_03
You can get a massage from a robot.
4
SPEAKER_03
The joke was.
4
SPEAKER_03
Which jumps too.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
I wonder if there s going to be a massage robot porn.
4
SPEAKER_03
Cause there s regular massage porn.
4
SPEAKER_03
They cut a hole in the bottom.
4
SPEAKER_03
I ll tell you later.
4
SPEAKER_04
I don t know, Masoos, I probably said this on this podcast.
4
SPEAKER_03
What do they say to you?
4
SPEAKER_04
Give it, give it.
4
SPEAKER_04
She put her elbow into me and said, give it, give it.
4
SPEAKER_04
I love this.
4
SPEAKER_04
So if they had a robot that would say that.
4
SPEAKER_04
Give it, give it, give it to me, give it or I will punish you.
4
SPEAKER_03
Mine goes like this.
4
SPEAKER_03
She said, give it.
4
SPEAKER_03
You like that shit?
4
SPEAKER_03
Give it.
4
SPEAKER_03
I m in the hole like this going.
4
SPEAKER_04
Do I like what?
4
SPEAKER_04
I put a fish tank down there and I put a scuba gear thing so I can watch the fish.
4
SPEAKER_04
It s an article.
4
SPEAKER_04
It s an it s an article article.
4
SPEAKER_04
I can t.
4
SPEAKER_04
I went to state school.
4
SPEAKER_04
God damn.
4
SPEAKER_03
God damn.
4
SPEAKER_03
All right.
4
SPEAKER_03
Let me make sure there s no Sarah Sherman.
4
SPEAKER_03
OK, let s talk about that story then.
4
SPEAKER_03
Is it over?
4
SPEAKER_03
Let s just talk about the story.
4
SPEAKER_03
We ve gone too long.
4
SPEAKER_03
I m going to tell a story about.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, the SNL story.
4
SPEAKER_03
We ll get Sarah to call next week.
4
SPEAKER_03
These are all evergreen, by the way.
4
SPEAKER_03
These are fun.
4
SPEAKER_03
SNL is probably this week, though.
4
SPEAKER_04
Fee five fold real.
4
SPEAKER_03
We re going to end on this.
4
SPEAKER_03
We could have a two show deal.
4
SPEAKER_04
We do.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
Two times 30.
4
SPEAKER_03
So this woman says that.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_04
OK, this is this.
4
SPEAKER_01
Let s get down to the nitty gritty.
4
SPEAKER_01
SNL has never hired a like hot woman.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I want to be clear, I m not saying that every single woman who has been a cast member of SNL is ugly.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s just that none of them have ever been, like, hot.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I m just gonna have looks that eventually grow on you.
4
SPEAKER_01
This has been on my mind for a while, but I feel like what really settled it in for me was when they hired this girl.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m sorry, I don t know what her name is.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then they make every skit that she s in at least one skit per episode that she s in, being like, where she plays someone super hot and super dumb, and the point of the joke is that she s super pretty.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it always makes me laugh because, like, no offense to her, but she s not that pretty.
4
SPEAKER_01
She does this for a living.
4
SPEAKER_01
She makes money off it.
4
SPEAKER_02
But if you get defensive, it s kind of almost, you know, giving it a thumbs up.
4
SPEAKER_02
Well, it s hard.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s absurd.
4
SPEAKER_02
You can stop it.
4
SPEAKER_03
It s hard for like Heidi Gardner to come out and say, no, I m pretty.
4
SPEAKER_03
That s for other people to say.
4
SPEAKER_03
We ll say it.
4
SPEAKER_03
She s very pretty.
4
SPEAKER_03
So is Chloe.
4
SPEAKER_03
Absolutely.
4
SPEAKER_03
So is I think Sarah Sherman s super cute.
4
SPEAKER_04
And well, let me just tell you from my perch in life where I m at.
4
SPEAKER_04
Every woman is pretty.
4
SPEAKER_04
Every single woman, because
4
SPEAKER_04
That s a real strong take.
4
SPEAKER_03
That s a real- They are.
4
SPEAKER_04
Most women, when they look back, or we re looking back at a picture of ourselves, let s just take women for a second, they look back, like my wife says, I should have just been in a bathing suit the whole time.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, they realize.
4
SPEAKER_03
Women are very harsh on themselves, and we are harsh on women, and then they don t- You re hard on me, and I m hard on you.
4
SPEAKER_03
Excuse me?
4
SPEAKER_04
Why is everything a sexual innuendo?
4
SPEAKER_03
It wasn t, now it is.
4
SPEAKER_03
Psychologically.
4
SPEAKER_03
No, we re always hard on ourselves and if we don t, YouTube comments will pick up the slack.
4
SPEAKER_04
But let me ask you a question though.
4
SPEAKER_04
So there s the aesthetic of a potential
4
SPEAKER_04
woman for David Spoodler.
4
SPEAKER_03
I m trying to find my camera.
4
SPEAKER_04
Can t find your camera.
4
SPEAKER_04
Find your camera.
4
SPEAKER_04
So define hotness because there s there s the aesthetic of someone who would be called a tan or like has like a perfect.
4
SPEAKER_03
That perfect woman, I think, is saying physically, physically, not to mention their personality, not to mention their super cute.
4
SPEAKER_03
Sarah Sherman has a great voice, like all these things add up to what makes
4
SPEAKER_03
someone, male or female, attractive.
4
SPEAKER_03
And so if you re just saying, should they all look like a Victoria s Secret model, I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_03
I mean, I just think it s a weird one.
4
SPEAKER_03
And Sarah Sherman said the best answer.
4
SPEAKER_03
Which was?
4
SPEAKER_03
She said, I m sorry, when I just found out today, I m not hot.
4
SPEAKER_03
I d like privacy.
4
SPEAKER_03
I d like to have some privacy to deal with my family.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, God.
4
SPEAKER_03
No, better word.
4
SPEAKER_03
If I could grieve uglily.
4
SPEAKER_04
Privately and uglily.
4
SPEAKER_04
Let me just say this now, she should do one on the men, even though she did say Jimmy Fallon was the definition of a hot man.
4
SPEAKER_04
He s cute, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_04
But what the fuck are we over here, fucking Rice-a-roni?
4
SPEAKER_03
No, listen.
4
SPEAKER_03
Jesus Christ, throw us a little bone.
4
SPEAKER_03
What are we?
4
SPEAKER_03
No, it s in the highest ranking I got was a six, so I get it, but a lot of,
4
SPEAKER_03
comic dudes are known for being not that good looking.
4
SPEAKER_03
That s part of the everyman part of comedy.
4
SPEAKER_04
Well, let s just say if Carol Burnett looked like Raquel Welch.
4
SPEAKER_04
She d look like Raquel Welch if you know the reference.
4
SPEAKER_04
Carol Burnett looks like Raquel Welch, but she s doing the same sketch show.
4
SPEAKER_04
Google can t even find Raquel Welch.
4
SPEAKER_04
I think the best lane for a comedian is to be kind of cute and likable.
4
SPEAKER_04
like every single woman that we re talking about is adorable.
4
SPEAKER_04
And I can t separate the personality.
4
SPEAKER_04
When I see a woman who s funny and super talented, the attraction level goes way up because smart is, I mean, you probably don t
5
SPEAKER_01
know about this, let me just set the table for you.
5
SPEAKER_01
Intelligence is sort of a turn-on for people.
5
SPEAKER_01
You ever heard that?
5
SPEAKER_00
No, because I m not smart enough to even understand that.
5
SPEAKER_01
No, I say that women would like you because you re high IQ.
5
SPEAKER_00
No, I, listen.
5
SPEAKER_00
You re not a dumb dummy.
5
SPEAKER_00
I, listen, I always.
5
SPEAKER_00
You re not a dummy.
5
SPEAKER_00
If anyone likes me, it always starts with,
5
SPEAKER_00
I never like good looking guys.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m always like guys like you.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m always like, I m so sick of like the Brad Pitts and the Johnny Depps.
5
SPEAKER_00
I go, all right, you don t need to articulate like that.
5
SPEAKER_01
I get what you re saying.
5
SPEAKER_01
People say to me, I never like anyone who looks like David Spade.
5
SPEAKER_01
And that s my wife, ladies and gentlemen over here.
5
SPEAKER_01
I tell it like it is.
5
SPEAKER_01
I tell it like it is.
5
SPEAKER_02
They go, I have no idea why, but I think you re so hot.
5
SPEAKER_02
That s the thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
They say on Instagram, they go, you re actually kind of hot.
5
SPEAKER_00
You re actually kind of hot.
5
SPEAKER_00
You don t need to fucking pad it with that shit.
5
SPEAKER_00
She goes, my friends and I can t believe you re my celebrity crush.
5
SPEAKER_01
So it s like a news flash, like, I swear to God, I m not lying right now, but I m actually attracted to you physically.
5
SPEAKER_01
Isn t that fucking crazy?
5
SPEAKER_01
And this isn t a joke.
5
SPEAKER_01
This isn t a joke.
5
SPEAKER_02
This is not an album.
5
SPEAKER_02
I m not doing a Netflix special about being attracted to David Spade, but I m telling you.
5
SPEAKER_00
God damn, it s horrifying.
5
SPEAKER_00
I can t help it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Thank you for watching.
5
SPEAKER_00
We did a long, we did an hour, didn t we?
5
SPEAKER_01
God damn, Wattess.
5
SPEAKER_00
Why do these people get so much for their free money?
5
SPEAKER_01
Fee-five-fo-mode.
5
SPEAKER_01
I smell a second episode.
5
SPEAKER_00
This is a two-parter.
5
SPEAKER_01
As long as I go fee-five-whatever and complete it, I m happy.
5
SPEAKER_00
Come on, come on in the hall.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m going to show you a two-farter.
5
SPEAKER_00
How are we going to end with Scrooge?
5
SPEAKER_00
Thanks, guys.
5
SPEAKER_00
See you next week.
5
SPEAKER_00
Send us your advice questions.
5
SPEAKER_00
This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment, Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman.
5
SPEAKER_00
Hope you liked it.