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Something that makes me crazy is when people say, well, I had this career before, but it was a waste.
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Step out of a curtain and 400 people will go nuts.
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And you ve got to remember the other side of this camera is a sign that says applause.
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Tony and Emmy-winning actor.
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He s on TV screens for eight years.
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The man himself, James Corden.
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I went upstairs and I sat in his room and I just went to him, I need you to know that I haven t changed.
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I love you more than you will ever know.
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And he went.
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Before we jump into this episode, I d like to invite you to join this community to hear more interviews that will help you become happier, healthier, and more healed.
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All I want you to do is click on the subscribe button.
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I love your support.
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It s incredible to see all your comments, and we re just getting started.
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I can t wait to go on this journey with you.
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Thank you so much for subscribing.
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It means the world to me.
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The number one health and wellness podcast.
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Jay Shetty.
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Jay Shetty.
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The one, the only, Jay Shetty.
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James, it is truly a honor and privilege to have you here today because I have to be honest with you, I ve been a huge, huge, huge fan ever since Smithy and Comic Relief.
0
SPEAKER_06
And I was at the Grove just a couple of weeks ago and I was remembering how that skit started there.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s where we shot it.
0
SPEAKER_06
Yeah, and you walk into one of the rooms and you re with the, and so I ve been such a huge fan from day one and watching you and admiring your journey
0
SPEAKER_06
seeing you go crushing it from the UK through to the US, and I moved to the US a few years after you did, but just getting to see the impact you had there, the amazing, amazing content that you ve created.
0
SPEAKER_06
I m a big fan of whether it s Spill Your Guts or Carpool Karaoke, every single segment you guys produce, such a huge fan.
0
SPEAKER_06
And so to be able to sit with you, and even the few moments we ve just spent together off camera,
0
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I ve already enjoyed your company, but I wanted to start off by just saying I m a huge fan and thank you for doing this.
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I m a huge fan of yours.
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I think what you ve done is is really quite extraordinary, actually.
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I really think I think it s actually deeper than a successful
0
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podcast or show or book, I think what you ve done really, I think, and I m sure I m certainly not the first person to say this to you, is you ve created like a safe place for people to talk about mental health, health, everything, you know what I mean?
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Feelings, a depth that I think is
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Of course, we re more aware of today than we were a decade ago and certainly a decade before that.
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And I think you re a real big part of that.
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And I m a real fan of the show and it s given me a lot over the years.
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So it s a real thrill to be here.
0
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And I hope I can be deep enough to fulfill the needs required, you know.
0
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Well, for everyone who doesn t know, everything that James was saying to me off camera just now, I was like, James, save it.
0
SPEAKER_06
I need you to say it again because it was perfect.
0
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But James, I was thinking about this.
0
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I was looking at your journey and I was saying, you went from writing, right, Gavin and Stacey, amazing success, gone to the West End, amazing success, Broadway, Tony Award, amazing success.
0
SPEAKER_06
Then moving off into late night, amazing success.
0
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There was something I was observing about you and I felt that what I saw in you was someone who had the ability to continuously disrupt themselves, take risks and innovate when it seemed like there was a clear path.
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I wonder whether what s
0
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the decision you ve made right now is almost the same thing, that you ve said, I don t want the safe option, I m willing to take the risk.
0
SPEAKER_06
Would you agree with that?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yes, I think so.
0
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I mean, it s really lovely of you to say that.
0
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There s also Mrs. in the middle of that.
0
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Do you know what I mean?
0
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Like, I think it s very important to say that that curve could also be lost.
0
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Do you know what I mean?
0
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There s as many misses as there is hits.
0
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You just want to keep that ratio as clean as you can, you know?
0
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In the sort of last sort of six months since finishing the show,
0
SPEAKER_01
And then the few months before that, when we announced that we were ending the show, lots of people would say, you know, they would ask why you re doing this and why would you leave such a thing and such a contract and offer and all those things, which I completely understand.
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I ve always been able to separate work and life.
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and that the two, one shouldn t outweigh the other.
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Does that make sense?
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That actually you have to go, well, I know that for my career, Ruth and I could have, Ruth Jones, who I co-wrote Gavin and Stacey with, which was a show that became successful in the UK.
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We could of course have carried on writing that show and making more episodes of that show, but I don t know that that was, at the time, feeding our life.
0
SPEAKER_01
You know, it wasn t feeding mine, it wasn t feeding Ruth s.
0
SPEAKER_01
It was like, we ve done that, it s time to stop, we have to do something else.
0
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And then, you know, I love being in...
0
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I love being in the theater.
0
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And when I was in One Man, Two Governors or the History Boys, there was a path where you could say, well, I could carry on doing this.
0
SPEAKER_01
And there were moments or opportunities to perhaps go and do another play after that.
0
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But it was like, well, I don t know that that s gonna feed my life.
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So I think the key from what I m trying to do
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is go, well, if my work is feeding my life and my family, then it s of benefit.
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And if it isn t, then it won t be.
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And I think some people perhaps often just look at their career as being the primary thing in their life, or the work is the thing, I m gonna do this and I m gonna do that.
0
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Then I m gonna do this, then I m gonna do that.
0
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And you have to go, no, no, but how is that feeding your life and your soul and who you are as a person?
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friend, son, brother, husband, father, you know, and that s the thing I think I ve always thought about.
0
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So the decision to end the show had nothing to do with not enjoying it anymore.
0
SPEAKER_01
It had nothing to do with it not being fun.
0
SPEAKER_01
Financially, of course, it was fantastic.
0
SPEAKER_01
But then it got to a point where I was like, is it feeding me and us as a family?
0
SPEAKER_01
Is this environment what we want now?
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SPEAKER_01
I don t think it is.
0
SPEAKER_01
OK, well, then we re going to then we re just going to turn it
1
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over and shake it and see what it is the other side of that.
1
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The thing I keep coming back to all the time in my life a lot recently is just to constantly say, well, we don t know yet.
1
SPEAKER_01
We don t know.
1
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I don t know yet.
1
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I can t tell you if it was a good thing or a bad thing to stop the show.
1
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I don t know.
1
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I will only know in the future.
1
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a year or two years, or maybe five years time, because you just don t know.
1
SPEAKER_01
You don t know at all.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know, in the same time that you might accept a role over here, and when you get that job, people are going, oh my God, this is the greatest thing ever.
1
SPEAKER_01
And you say, well, we don t know.
1
SPEAKER_01
Me and my friend, Louis, very dear friend of mine, Louis, who moved to America to come and write on the Late Late Show.
1
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uprooted his family, he didn t have a family at the time, had two kids in the eight and a half years we were there.
1
SPEAKER_01
We wrote a TV show together, which got picked up at Hulu.
1
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I wasn t gonna be in it, we just created this show.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then a few months later, we wrote two scripts and they really loved the first script, then we wrote the second script and they said, look, we re not gonna make this show, happens all the time.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I was really bummed.
1
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And my friend Louis said the best thing.
1
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He was like, look, if they d have picked it up, it might have been the worst thing to ever happen to us.
1
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We might have fallen out.
1
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Who knows what would have happened?
1
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It might have been a disaster.
1
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We just don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
You have no idea.
1
SPEAKER_00
You just don t know anything.
1
SPEAKER_00
You ve reminded me of this beautiful Zen story where a farmer finds a new horse.
1
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I love this story.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know the story?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s amazing.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
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The farmer finds a new horse and everyone s excited.
1
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They re like, wow, this beautiful horse.
1
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You just came upon it.
1
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Like, how lucky are you?
1
SPEAKER_00
And he says, good thing, bad thing, who knows?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
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And then his son s riding the horse and he looks incredible, but then all of a sudden he gets tipped off the horse and his son falls off and breaks his leg.
1
SPEAKER_00
And everyone s like, oh no, this is the worst thing ever.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like, if only you didn t bring that horse in.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he says, good thing, bad thing, who knows?
1
SPEAKER_00
And the story continues.
1
SPEAKER_00
And hearing you say that,
1
SPEAKER_00
It s really honest of you to share that though, because I think sometimes when we make a decision, we often feel like we have to convince ourself it s the best decision in order to make it through.
1
SPEAKER_00
But for you to actually have the vulnerability to say, I actually don t know,
1
SPEAKER_00
That takes a lot of courage.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, I do know that ending the show, I do know that the reasons for it are absolutely right.
1
SPEAKER_01
No question.
1
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But you don t know, you don t know how those things will, you just don t know.
1
SPEAKER_01
You don t know any of it.
1
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So if you can accept all of it, if you can just say, well, this is
1
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this is it, this is life, what we re doing now, me and you sitting here, this is it, we re doing it, you re alive.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I think sometimes the expectation of stuff is the thing which really ruins stuff, your expectation of what a holiday might be, your expectation of what Christmas day was gonna be like.
1
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is actually the problem.
1
SPEAKER_01
The thing that happened on holiday or the argument you had on Christmas day, that s not really the issue.
1
SPEAKER_01
I didn t have an argument on Christmas day, I m just using it as an example.
1
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That s the thing, I think, is your expectation of, well, when I do this, my life will be like that.
1
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And I think I ve thought that a lot of my life.
1
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When I get my driver s license, my life will be like this.
1
SPEAKER_01
When I get a girlfriend,
1
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When I move out of my parents  house, my life is gonna be like this.
1
SPEAKER_01
And it s not, it isn t, it can t be.
1
SPEAKER_01
And what it is will be amazing, because you re gonna be alive, you know?
1
SPEAKER_01
And I think...
1
SPEAKER_01
I just feel very accepting of everything now, at the moment.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, there s something really beautiful that came out of what you said, this idea of reasons over results.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like, you know your reasons.
1
SPEAKER_00
You don t know what the result will be, but you re sure about your reasons.
1
SPEAKER_00
And that s something we can all practice and take on.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like, I think that s something everyone who s watching can apply, that you never know the result of your decision.
1
SPEAKER_00
You don t know how it s going to pan out, but you can be sure about your reasons.
1
SPEAKER_00
Without question.
1
SPEAKER_00
And if you feel clear about those.
1
SPEAKER_01
And to recalibrate perhaps what success is.
1
SPEAKER_01
And that s, I think, a big issue in a broader society.
1
SPEAKER_01
What is success?
1
SPEAKER_01
Success is not
1
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this amount of money.
1
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It s not this amount of gold statues and trophies.
1
SPEAKER_01
You ve got to look at it as a whole.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s really interesting.
1
SPEAKER_01
There are numerous people who talk about
1
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the night that they won an Academy Award as being the loneliest night of their life.
1
SPEAKER_01
And yet for us, looking in on that, you look and go, oh my God, this is incredible.
1
SPEAKER_01
I would give anything.
1
SPEAKER_01
Why do you think that is?
1
SPEAKER_01
Because I think it s more, the climb is the thing.
1
SPEAKER_01
The top of a mountain,
1
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I think can be quite a isolating experience, actually.
1
SPEAKER_01
And the climb to the top of it is, and of course, when you get there, it s amazing because you go,
1
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Oh my God, you know what I mean?
1
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We did it.
1
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It s like someone that takes a helicopter to the top of Everest is not gonna have the same experience as a person who s climbed it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Absolutely.
1
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You re looking at the same view, but it s gonna feel very, very different.
1
SPEAKER_00
For sure.
1
SPEAKER_01
I also think it s an incredibly...
1
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you know, the anxiety of it, the fear of it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I can only imagine.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m not, I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_01
I can only imagine.
1
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And so I think, because I think that what you realize is that the doing of the work and the climb of it is the thing that is the most satisfying.
1
SPEAKER_01
And how can there be such a thing as best?
1
SPEAKER_01
However, you can be the fastest runner over a hundred meters.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s not up for debate.
1
SPEAKER_01
Usain Bolt, you are the fastest runner over a hundred meters.
1
SPEAKER_01
You can t be the best film.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s impossible.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know, it s- It s more subjective.
1
SPEAKER_01
Of course it is and should be.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, where did your drive for success come from?
1
SPEAKER_00
You just said that you ve realized now that success is not, you know, the bank balance or this or that, these specific things.
1
SPEAKER_00
Where did your initial drive for success come from?
1
SPEAKER_00
Did you always,
1
SPEAKER_00
define success in a particular way, or was it just what you think everyone in our generation was almost chasing?
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_01
I think for me, really, I really don t remember a time that I didn t want to perform.
1
SPEAKER_01
I just don t remember a time that I didn t want to...
1
SPEAKER_01
just perform.
1
SPEAKER_00
Did you perform at school and at home?
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, everywhere, everywhere.
1
SPEAKER_01
I would call it performing.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m sure some people would call it showing off.
1
SPEAKER_01
My mum would, you know, oscillate between the two.
1
SPEAKER_01
Stop showing off.
1
SPEAKER_01
Still, you know, like, I just, I just loved, I just loved, I loved performing in, in, in, in any shape or form.
1
SPEAKER_01
School play, church,
1
SPEAKER_01
Playground, I just, I really, really loved it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like I can remember so vividly the first time I was ever sort of on what we call a stage.
1
SPEAKER_01
So we grew up in, we were a family that were in the Salvation Army, which is a church, but that s also a charity.
1
SPEAKER_01
And like any church you re born into, you think that this is completely normal.
1
SPEAKER_01
So true.
1
SPEAKER_01
Any church you re wanting to.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then we would put on a uniform and my dad would occasionally march down the road in a brass band and we would do Christmas caroling and I would play the trumpet.
1
SPEAKER_01
And you just thought, well, this is just completely normal life.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then you get to about 15 and you re like, guys, this is really weird.
1
SPEAKER_01
But it was essentially a church and that s what we d go to.
1
SPEAKER_01
A church from what I can really work out now, retrospectively, was perhaps full of the least Christian people I ve ever met in my life.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know, like many churches, you know, at its core, good.
1
SPEAKER_01
Infected with people becomes something very, very different.
1
SPEAKER_01
And so we re in High Wycombe in Buckinghamshire and my sister was three, no, four.
1
SPEAKER_01
My sister Ruth was four and it was her christening.
1
SPEAKER_01
And we were on the platform, which was, you know, to all intents and purposes looked and felt like a stage to me.
1
SPEAKER_01
And the,
1
SPEAKER_01
Salvation Army officer, the vicar, the priest, I couldn t see because I was quite small.
1
SPEAKER_01
And he said, let s get James a chair.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I stood on this chair and I could just see there was maybe, I don t know, 30 people in the congregation.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it looked like a thousand.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I just started like pulling these faces and turned around and looked back through my legs and people are chuckling.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, well, this feels fantastic.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then what I really remember is sitting back down in the congregation.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I was sat between my mom and dad, and the person s back is in front of me.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I remember being like, well, this is boring.
2
SPEAKER_01
This isn t nearly as much fun as being up there.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I was seven at the time.
2
SPEAKER_01
No, I was four.
2
SPEAKER_01
And my sister was obviously a newborn, so I was four.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I remember just thinking, well, that s it now.
2
SPEAKER_01
Life is a quest to be up there as much as possible.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s beautiful.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I think that s what I always thought success was.
2
SPEAKER_01
My absolute ambitions were to be in a West End musical.
2
SPEAKER_01
That was it.
2
SPEAKER_01
That was the peak.
2
SPEAKER_01
And literally, it was a road away from where we are now at the Prince Edward Theatre when I was 17.
2
SPEAKER_01
and in a musical.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I was, I honestly, genuinely was like, well, that s it for me.
2
SPEAKER_01
I will, it cannot be greater than this.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s how, that s where my absolute ambitions were to be just on a West End stage.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s spectacular.
2
SPEAKER_00
I mean, you said there were misses naturally in the journey that I laid out in the beginning.
2
SPEAKER_00
I wonder what were some of the most painful or tough misses, whether when you were younger, as you got older, what were the ones that
2
SPEAKER_00
you look to and say, I d love people to know about this or learn about this because when you look at it from the outside, it is easy to see hit, hit, hit, hit, hit.
2
SPEAKER_00
But these are the couple that maybe would surprise us.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, well, there s things that you do that just naturally aren t very good.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s the first, you know what I mean?
2
SPEAKER_01
There s things that you do and they re not, they re not very good.
2
SPEAKER_01
Those things you understand why they didn t connect because they re not very good, you know?
2
SPEAKER_01
And oddly, I don t feel a sort of sense of any,
2
SPEAKER_01
disappointment in that rear, do you know what I mean?
2
SPEAKER_01
Because someone asked me once, because I was in that film, I was in that film Cats, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
The musical Cats.
2
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, I haven t seen it, but like, by all accounts, not good.
2
SPEAKER_01
And didn t do very well.
2
SPEAKER_01
And someone said to me, oh God, you regret that?
2
SPEAKER_01
I was like, no, I d do it again.
2
SPEAKER_01
had a great time.
2
SPEAKER_01
You have to separate sometimes your own experience and the outcome of a project because you can do things that do really well but at that time in your life
2
SPEAKER_01
It was a disaster.
2
SPEAKER_01
Do you know what I mean?
2
SPEAKER_00
Such a good point.
2
SPEAKER_01
And at the same time, you can do stuff which isn t good, but actually you had a really great, you know what I mean?
2
SPEAKER_01
I love that.
2
SPEAKER_01
When we were shooting Cats, we had an afternoon and I sat in this weird green suit with dots on your face with Ian McKellen and Judi Dench.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I wouldn t swap that for anything.
2
SPEAKER_01
To literally sit and talk
2
SPEAKER_01
to Sir Ian McKellen and Dame Judi Dench about, I couldn t tell you what we talked about.
2
SPEAKER_01
I couldn t tell you if it, you know, and I was like, well, how lucky am I?
2
SPEAKER_01
This is extraordinary.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I think,
2
SPEAKER_01
I did a TV show which came out, I think about maybe just two years ago now, maybe 18 months ago, which was on Amazon called Mammals, which I was really proud of.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I really hoped that people would find that and they didn t.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s the only thing that I look at and I think, oh, because it got reviewed well,
2
SPEAKER_01
It s written by, I think, the best living playwright at the moment, or certainly young living playwright, called Jez Butterworth, who wrote, like, Jerusalem and The Ferryman and Mojo, but then also wrote Skyfall and Spectre and Indiana Jones.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it was me and Sally Hawkins and Malia Krelian.
2
SPEAKER_01
And that s the only, I would say that s the only thing that I go,
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I wonder what we could have done differently to make people find it.
2
SPEAKER_01
But then we don t know yet.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you don t know.
2
SPEAKER_00
We don t know.
2
SPEAKER_00
You don t know when it s gonna take off again.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like I love hearing about shows.
2
SPEAKER_00
But even if it doesn t.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, even if it doesn t.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
2
SPEAKER_00
Like, you just have to.
2
SPEAKER_00
I love what you just said, mate.
2
SPEAKER_00
I love that perspective of the idea that, and I can relate to that.
2
SPEAKER_00
I ve had moments in my life where I m having one of my biggest external career wins,
2
SPEAKER_00
but I didn t have the right people around me to celebrate it with.
2
SPEAKER_00
And therefore it s not as gratifying or as celebratory or it s not as meaningful.
2
SPEAKER_00
Whereas you could have had something that externally, like no one cared, but you had the people around you where you knew what you d built and you knew what you d created.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I love that.
2
SPEAKER_00
That resonated so strongly, honestly.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, also the notion that, I don t know, the way I see it is every single day your life can get
2
SPEAKER_01
turned over and flipped on its head in a phone call every single day.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like I used to say that to my wife, Julia, all the time when we were in Los Angeles, where I would go, every day we live here and the phone doesn t ring in the middle of the night to tell us something s happened at home is an absolute win.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s an absolute win.
2
SPEAKER_01
And you just have to be so aware that those things are coming and those things are real.
2
SPEAKER_01
And all the stuff that we re talking about over here, work and all those things, it isn t those things that are just gonna just bang.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then you re talking about life before and after, before and after those moments.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, you know, and I m 45.
2
SPEAKER_01
And my friend said to me, and it s quite a dark thought, but actually it s good to, he said, he s 45 also.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he said, we ve turned the corner into sniper s alley.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I said, what do you mean?
2
SPEAKER_01
I didn t know what he meant.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he said, you re now in an alley and suddenly people are gonna just, and you re gonna go, oh my God.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, it s just that shift in life of like, oh, this is where, like, I m very fortunate both my parents are still alive.
2
SPEAKER_01
So that s inevitable, that s definite.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then you re in this world of just absolute unknowns.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I think the older I get.
2
SPEAKER_01
Just the less I sort of think about work in that way.
2
SPEAKER_01
I just don t.
2
SPEAKER_01
And maybe because I ve had six months of real reflection, six months of not really doing anything.
2
SPEAKER_01
I started this podcast that I m really, really enjoying.
2
SPEAKER_01
Outside of that, I m writing some stuff.
2
SPEAKER_01
Some of it, I hope people will see.
2
SPEAKER_01
Other stuff, I m certain they never will.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know what I mean?
2
SPEAKER_01
And some of it I hope they never will.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s a terrible idea.
2
SPEAKER_01
You just don t know.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so I just think less about work and I want to think more about my health and all those things.
2
SPEAKER_00
Walk me through what, like you ve had all these transitions in your life.
2
SPEAKER_00
Walk me through what your reflection process looks like in your head.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like just for you personally, like it doesn t have to be systematic or perfect.
2
SPEAKER_00
Just what is it, what do you go through?
2
SPEAKER_00
Is it looking at going, well, am I helping my family?
2
SPEAKER_00
Am I taking care of them?
2
SPEAKER_00
Is that the number one thing?
2
SPEAKER_00
Or are there other things that go through your head?
2
SPEAKER_00
Because I feel like you ve had to make some big transitions.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, that s the number one thing.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re only as happy as your least happy child is a wonderful saying, which is without question true.
2
SPEAKER_01
There is nothing that can happen in your professional life that will matter
2
SPEAKER_01
if one of your children is unhealthy, unwell, either mentally or physically, this is irrelevant.
2
SPEAKER_01
So let s park that as a given.
2
SPEAKER_01
In terms of my reflection, mainly I just think like,
2
SPEAKER_01
I m so aware of time and the passage of time, and that this is it, and you have to go, okay, well, now, how do you really, really want to use your time?
2
SPEAKER_01
Because I think when I was hosting the show, I think I probably knew this at the time,
2
SPEAKER_01
But I recognize it more now that I think I said yes a lot, perhaps to too much, because I
3
SPEAKER_00
I just loved, I knew I wasn t gonna host that show forever.
3
SPEAKER_00
I didn t want it to be the end of the book.
3
SPEAKER_00
I didn t want it to be the last thing I did.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I didn t want it to be a shock when I finished the show and said, oh, I m gonna go back to act again now.
3
SPEAKER_00
Because I was very aware that there was a lot of people watching that show who had no idea that I d ever acted before.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I really just said, yes, I ll do it.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ll be there, I ll do it.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I think,
3
SPEAKER_00
I understand my reasons for it.
3
SPEAKER_00
But now I think mainly the thing I m really thinking is, forget what you can do, forget what s possible, forget what s in front of you, forget what s offered to you or not offered to you.
3
SPEAKER_00
What do you actually want to do?
3
SPEAKER_00
What is worthy of your time?
3
SPEAKER_00
What is worth not taking your kids to school in the morning or picking them up at four o clock?
3
SPEAKER_00
What are the things, because that s really the question you re asking yourself.
3
SPEAKER_00
And like, I don t have like so much money that I don t have to ever work again.
3
SPEAKER_00
I really, really don t.
3
SPEAKER_00
Whatever you might read on the internet is, I cannot stress you, untrue.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so, you know, it s that thing of just going, well, what do you want to do?
3
SPEAKER_00
Is there anything that you want to say?
3
SPEAKER_00
And if there isn t, then don t.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then, and it will come, it will.
3
SPEAKER_00
It will come and, you know,
3
SPEAKER_00
It s interesting that since moving back to London and I feel in a different cultural space, I m trying my absolute best to hit 10,000 steps a day.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m really, really, really trying to do that.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so sometimes I ll just go and...
3
SPEAKER_00
once the kids are asleep, I ll go and I ll be, I ll look and I m like at 8,000 steps.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I ll be like, babe, just gonna go.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I ll literally walk up and down the road and to come back in.
3
SPEAKER_00
And in that time of walking, I m starting to feel the notion of like, oh, is maybe that s, is that an interesting idea?
3
SPEAKER_00
But don t leap on it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Don t go, that s it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Let s go.
3
SPEAKER_00
Let s book a flight.
3
SPEAKER_00
Let s pitch it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Is to go, I go, well, let s let it,
3
SPEAKER_00
let s see if it almost just to treat it like a plant really and go we re going to water it for a minute, see if there s something there and and already now I m like well thank god I didn t go and tell someone about that.
3
SPEAKER_00
Have you ever read that thing about doing the thing?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes, yes, yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean that s my, I just, I just look at that
3
SPEAKER_00
almost every day, doing the thing.
3
SPEAKER_00
Just do the thing.
3
SPEAKER_00
Don t talk about doing the thing.
3
SPEAKER_00
Don t tweet about doing the thing.
3
SPEAKER_00
Don t, just do the thing.
3
SPEAKER_00
The doing the thing is the thing.
3
SPEAKER_00
And that s all I m really trying to do.
3
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, it s fascinating because I find like, you know, you ve been performing, as you said, you love performing.
3
SPEAKER_05
When you re a kid, you ve been performing for decades now.
3
SPEAKER_05
And it s almost like an identity shift when you stop yourself from performing in an inner, I m talking about performing in a play or in a movie or on stage, like you re not allowing yourself
3
SPEAKER_05
to do something that feels so pure and true, and I can see in your eyes when you were talking about it, like brings you to life.
3
SPEAKER_05
And almost removing yourself away from that requires you to rethink your identity a little.
3
SPEAKER_05
Like, who are you today?
3
SPEAKER_05
Or how are you feeling about who you are when you re not performing, when you ve been so used to entertaining crowds for so long?
3
SPEAKER_01
The Therapy for Black Girls podcast is an NAACP and Webby Award-winning podcast dedicated to all things mental health, personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves.
3
SPEAKER_01
Here, we have the conversations that help Black women decipher how their pasts inform who they are today,
3
SPEAKER_01
and use that information to decide who they want to be moving forward.
3
SPEAKER_01
We chat about things like how to establish routines that center self-care, what burnout looks and feels like, and defining what aspects of our lives are making us happy and what parts are holding us back.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m your host, Dr. Joy Harden-Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I can t wait for you to join the conversation every Wednesday.
3
SPEAKER_01
Listen to the Therapy for Black Girls podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
3
SPEAKER_01
Take good care, and we ll see you there.
3
SPEAKER_02
Tune in to the new podcast, Stories from the Village of Nothing Much, like easy listening, but for fiction.
3
SPEAKER_02
If you ve overdosed on bad news, we invite you into a world where the glimmers of goodness in everyday life are all around you.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m Katherine Nicolai, and you might know me from the Bedtime Story podcast, Nothing Much Happens.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m an architect of cozy, and I invite you to come spend some time where everyone is welcome and kindness is the default.
3
SPEAKER_02
When you tune in, you ll hear stories about bakeries and walks in the woods, a favorite booth at the diner on a blustery autumn day, cats and dogs, unrescued goats and donkeys, old houses, bookshops, beaches where kites fly, and pretty stones are found.
3
SPEAKER_02
I have so many stories to tell you, and they are all designed to help you feel good and feel connected to what is good in the world.
3
SPEAKER_02
Listen, relax, enjoy.
3
SPEAKER_02
Listen to stories from the Village of Nothing Much on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
3
SPEAKER_03
When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it s powerful.
3
SPEAKER_04
That s where The Bright Side comes in.
3
SPEAKER_04
A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that s bringing you a daily dose of joy.
3
SPEAKER_04
I m Danielle Robay.
3
SPEAKER_03
And I m Simone Boyce.
3
SPEAKER_03
Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters.
3
SPEAKER_03
We ve covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy, but The Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new and get into some friendly debates.
3
SPEAKER_04
That s right.
3
SPEAKER_04
Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side.
3
SPEAKER_03
We ll hear from celebrities, authors, experts and listeners like you, whether it s relationships, friend advice or figuring out how to navigate life s transitions.
3
SPEAKER_03
We ll talk through it all together.
3
SPEAKER_04
Listen to the bright side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
3
SPEAKER_00
But that s ego, I think.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s ego.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s what you re talking about, is ego.
3
SPEAKER_00
I lived for eight and a half years what could only be described as a narcissist s dream.
3
SPEAKER_00
Do you know what I mean?
3
SPEAKER_00
And I cannot stress how much
3
SPEAKER_00
I think being the host of a late night TV show is one of the greatest jobs in the world.
3
SPEAKER_00
I think it s amazing.
3
SPEAKER_00
I think it is brilliant.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like my God, how lucky am I to have done that?
3
SPEAKER_00
I think it s amazing.
3
SPEAKER_00
But if you were another Wayne Clyde, you drive into a studio lot, you drive past a massive picture of your face
3
SPEAKER_00
That s the first thing you see when you get to work is a huge picture of your face and your name.
3
SPEAKER_00
You then park in an amazing parking spot with your name on it.
3
SPEAKER_00
You go in.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, I tell you the thing I miss most about the show is my, like, I miss seeing, there s a great lady called T, who was on the front desk at CBS, and I would just, my interaction with her every day, I just grew to love it so much.
3
SPEAKER_00
Morning, T, morning, James, how s it going?
3
SPEAKER_00
All good, and as I walked through the door, she d say, have a good one, and I d go, have a good one, and it would be a race to who could say it first.
3
SPEAKER_00
You get in a lift, you come out the lift to be greeted by another picture of your face.
3
SPEAKER_00
Do you know what I mean?
3
SPEAKER_00
It s like another picture of your face and your name.
3
SPEAKER_00
You turn a corner and then you start walking up a corridor and there is just, your name and face is everywhere, right?
3
SPEAKER_00
Then you get to say, well, what are we going to do tonight?
3
SPEAKER_00
Back up.
3
SPEAKER_00
But then you get to like shoot a sketch with Matt Damon or drive around in a car with Stevie Wonder.
3
SPEAKER_00
Then you ll come back into work, get dressed.
3
SPEAKER_00
You work also in a gang of people who are the funniest people you ve ever met in your life, ever.
3
SPEAKER_00
And they only want to try and make you seem funnier.
3
SPEAKER_00
And that s amazing.
3
SPEAKER_00
And you chat with them and you re hanging out with them.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then good day, bad day, indifferent day, your day will end with a standing ovation.
3
SPEAKER_00
You ll step out of a curtain and 400 people will go nuts.
3
SPEAKER_00
And you ve got to remember.
3
SPEAKER_00
And the thing that I would just remember all the time is the other side of this camera is a sign that says applause.
3
SPEAKER_00
Do you know what I mean?
3
SPEAKER_00
There is people going, you know what I mean?
3
SPEAKER_00
And the walk down from the office green room to the studio is an amazing change in your psyche, because you re with all your... And very slowly, I remember the first show, because really you re in a gang,
4
SPEAKER_01
You re in a team while you make a late night show.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s just a gang.
4
SPEAKER_01
You re all making it together.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then at some point people tap you on the shoulder and go, have a good one.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then you are surrounded by people.
4
SPEAKER_01
You walk in, microphone, make up, touch up, you enter a door and you hear, you know,
4
SPEAKER_01
The other side of this thing, you hear 400 people screaming.
4
SPEAKER_01
You hear a guy going, OK, that s everybody on your feet.
4
SPEAKER_01
Let s go.
4
SPEAKER_01
This is how we do it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Another look at the chair.
4
SPEAKER_01
All right, here we go.
4
SPEAKER_01
Let s get ready to patatatata.
4
SPEAKER_01
OK, and we re going five, four, three.
4
SPEAKER_01
And you find yourself stood behind a curtain.
4
SPEAKER_01
completely on your own.
4
SPEAKER_01
And suddenly this team effort, you re just, you are on your own and the spotlight s behind you.
4
SPEAKER_01
So this circle is on the curtain and the shadow of you.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I used to stand there, I d open my hands, take a breath,
4
SPEAKER_01
I would look and I would say to him, I always have this feeling that my granddad is getting a real kick out of all this.
4
SPEAKER_01
So he is not with me in any spiritual sense.
4
SPEAKER_01
He s just in for the ride of it.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, like I know that he just, you know, he s a jazz musician.
4
SPEAKER_01
He would be like, this is fun, you know?
4
SPEAKER_01
And I would open my eyes and I would look up and I would say, be with me, just be with me and be here now.
4
SPEAKER_01
And for the next hour, your only job is to enjoy yourself as much as you can.
4
SPEAKER_01
It doesn t matter what s happened all day.
4
SPEAKER_01
It doesn t matter what happens on tomorrow s show.
4
SPEAKER_01
Your only job is to enjoy this right now.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I did.
4
SPEAKER_01
And we did 1,198 shows, I think.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I just loved it.
4
SPEAKER_01
I loved it.
4
SPEAKER_01
So it s a lot to leave behind.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s a lot to walk away from.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I also think this period of
4
SPEAKER_01
silence is so good for me.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m getting as much or more from this period now.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s so odd that I used to do that every day, that then even speaking to you now, I m like, God, I haven t spoken to anybody in this sense since April.
4
SPEAKER_01
I haven t done anything.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so it feels odd.
4
SPEAKER_01
You re like, oh man, this is, and the podcast I m doing, I m loving, because I m in your chair.
4
SPEAKER_01
But even now this feels unnatural.
4
SPEAKER_01
And there is a feeling of like, I don t know what I ve got to say.
4
SPEAKER_01
But then you go, but I m gonna get to meet Jay, so that ll be lovely.
4
SPEAKER_01
So what is life without it?
4
SPEAKER_01
It s great.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s great, I think, because I really, really always knew that this wasn t gonna be forever.
4
SPEAKER_01
I always knew I wanted to leave before it ebbed away.
4
SPEAKER_01
I just knew that I wanted to do it and then stop doing it and see if there s something else.
4
SPEAKER_01
And if there isn t,
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay, great.
4
SPEAKER_01
Who could wish for more?
4
SPEAKER_01
Do you know what I mean?
4
SPEAKER_01
I guess that s the thing.
4
SPEAKER_01
I look now and I think, I don t want any more stuff or fame or all those things.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like what I d really love to do is go, I wonder if I ve got one more thing to write.
4
SPEAKER_01
I wonder if there s one more thing to say.
4
SPEAKER_01
I wonder if there s just something else, I don t know yet.
4
SPEAKER_00
What a brilliant way to live.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, when you just said that, the idea of, I knew that it wasn t going to last forever and I didn t want it to.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s so the opposite of how we re conditioned to think.
4
SPEAKER_00
Most of us are conditioned to believe when you find something good, hold on to it forever, make sure it lasts forever because you never know.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I love your perspective because I think not only is it healthier for the mind and the ego, it s actually the reality of life that everything is ephemeral and transient and it will move anyway.
4
SPEAKER_00
And so you wanting to hold on to something that isn t yours to control is almost a fool s game anyway.
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, then you re a kid with a balloon.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Right.
4
SPEAKER_01
And you go and hold, I m never, I m never, ever going to let this balloon go.
4
SPEAKER_01
Right.
4
SPEAKER_01
And ignoring for this for a second, the environmental impact of letting a balloon go.
4
SPEAKER_01
Let s talk about it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Just metaphorically, you know, that you go, I mean, this is my balloon and hold this, but I m never, ever, ever, ever, ever going to let go of this balloon.
4
SPEAKER_01
In fact, I m going to go, I m going to tie it to my wrist so it can t disappear because that happened to me once before.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it, you know what I mean?
4
SPEAKER_01
I m gonna just come, you know, that s it.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then slowly that balloon will just wilt and it will run out of the thing that made it great.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it will just then be, then it s tied to your wrist and you re dragging it behind you, right?
4
SPEAKER_01
And actually there s something quite beautiful.
4
SPEAKER_01
And again, environmentally, I m not encouraging this.
4
SPEAKER_01
We didn t know about this when we were kids.
4
SPEAKER_01
When you let go of a balloon, it s magical, magical.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then you see it and you re like, oh my God, I used to have that.
4
SPEAKER_01
I used to hold onto that and look at it now.
4
SPEAKER_01
Look, it s just flying, that s amazing.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then you go, well, now I haven t got a balloon.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then you go, well, maybe I ll get another one.
4
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Maybe there ll be another balloon and maybe it ll be a different shape or it ll be shinier or whatever it is.
4
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Like you ve got to be able to let go of stuff
4
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to make new things come in.
4
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You ve got to have the space and the time to encounter something new.
4
SPEAKER_01
A friend of mine a year ago, maybe less, had his heart broken in the most brutal circumstances.
4
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It was his first love, first girlfriend and they broke up and he was,
4
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just not in a good way.
4
SPEAKER_01
And this was his first real proper serious girlfriend, certainly the first time he d been in love before.
4
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I just found myself saying to him, I was like, this is great.
4
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this is great because you really only understand what love is once your heart s been broken.
4
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You understand how tender it is.
4
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And I was like, and you understand it now.
4
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And what s, you re looking at this all wrong.
4
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You, you get to do it again.
4
SPEAKER_01
You get to do this again.
4
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You re going to meet someone else and feel all these feelings and perhaps
4
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you ll go into that relationship, learning what you ve learned from this relationship, and that will then feed that relationship in a different way.
4
SPEAKER_01
And he s just met someone, right?
4
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And he s like, oh my God, this is amazing.
4
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And I m like, yeah, that s it, that s it.
4
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And so again, I think it s expectation.
4
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is the thing that makes us hold on to stuff.
4
SPEAKER_01
If you can just ebb and flow with stuff, you re gonna find it so much easier to take the good, the bad, and the everything in between as just all being good for you, I think.
4
SPEAKER_00
James, you re a philosopher.
4
SPEAKER_00
Who knew?
4
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We re going to have to add it to the list.
4
SPEAKER_00
We re going to have to add it to the list of the titles.
4
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No, genuinely, I mean, that visual you just painted of the balloon, that s going to stay with me for a long time.
4
SPEAKER_00
I ve probably never heard it.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t know that it s a thing.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think we just might have made it up.
4
SPEAKER_00
You made it up, but it is so... Banksy made it up.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, there we go.
4
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We ve taken Banksy s image.
4
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No, it s such a beautiful way of sharing that lesson.
4
SPEAKER_00
There s a Zen saying that says what s holding you back is what you re holding on to.
4
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Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
And that s, you know, but that visual that you just painted is so powerful.
4
SPEAKER_00
And even the visual that you painted of saying that you come out to all this rupturous applause and, you know, the hoo-ha and the idea of you coming out onto the stage, but you re thinking about the fact that the screen says, applause on the other side.
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Because I think if you don t, it s really dangerous.
4
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I think it s really dangerous.
4
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Were you conscious of that?
4
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And have you been conscious of that the whole time in your career?
4
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No, not the whole time.
4
SPEAKER_00
When did that become like a real, because that s Marcus Aurelius meditations at its
5
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Marcus Aurelius famously had a... Marcus Aurelius, when he would walk around the Roman town square, he had an assistant that would follow him around.
5
SPEAKER_01
And the role of the assistant was that whenever anyone in the town square would say, Marcus Aurelius, you are such an amazing emperor, you are phenomenal, you re incredible.
5
SPEAKER_01
the assistant s only job was to whisper in his ear, you re just a man, you re just a man.
5
SPEAKER_01
And that sort of practice.
5
SPEAKER_01
And so when you said that, that s the first thing I thought of when you said the applause.
5
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I was like, wow, you re living that.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think I ve probably fallen into the pitfall of thinking I was more of a dude than I really was quite early-ish in my career.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think, I guess in a way, I think, I don t know, I think I m sort of entering
5
SPEAKER_00
phase three, right?
5
SPEAKER_00
If phase one was History Boys writing Gavin and Stacey, phase two was going to Broadway to do One Man, Two Governors, everything that came with that, and then ending up hosting a late night TV show, and phase three will be whatever this is, and I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, look, I ve fallen into all those pitfalls of thinking that you re more of a dude than you really are, thinking any of this is, it s like fame and success, whatever level of that I m kind of have in a way, like it s on the whole a picnic, right?
5
SPEAKER_00
It s great, it s lovely.
5
SPEAKER_00
People come up,
5
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they talk about things that they ve liked or enjoyed.
5
SPEAKER_00
And certainly being back here in London, you know, it s amazing hearing people talk about like Gavin and Stacey and stuff, which obviously I would never hear in America.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I m so proud of that show.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I think I ve started to think of like, don t confuse the selfie, right?
5
SPEAKER_00
I think for me, I think it s different if you re like,
5
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Brad Pitt, Harry Styles, do you know what I mean?
5
SPEAKER_00
Adele, like, I think that s a different, that s a whole, that s an aura and an orb of fame, which I think is not what I m talking about now.
5
SPEAKER_00
Whereas I think on the whole, when people are asking for a selfie with me, it isn t really anything to do with me.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think it s just people go, well, this is going to be good on my story.
5
SPEAKER_00
Right?
5
SPEAKER_00
I do.
5
SPEAKER_00
No, I do.
5
SPEAKER_00
No, I m not.
5
SPEAKER_00
That is not any faux.
5
SPEAKER_00
I genuinely believe that.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think people are going, well, he s there.
5
SPEAKER_00
he s only over there, this is gonna be great in amongst the other four photos of my day, right?
5
SPEAKER_00
And I love taking photos of people.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t say no.
5
SPEAKER_00
I used to say no when I was with my kids, but now they have a bit better understanding of it and I don t need to hold their hands all the time.
5
SPEAKER_00
My wife was like, you cannot give your attention to someone else.
5
SPEAKER_00
when they re that night.
5
SPEAKER_00
So Charlotte, whatever.
5
SPEAKER_00
So Charlotte, so if I m out with like, you know, my, my two eldest, it s always a lot easier now.
5
SPEAKER_00
And it s, people are, people are really great and cool and lovely, but I don t ever, ever in my, ever in my life go, I got all these people.
5
SPEAKER_00
They just want a photo, what can I say?
5
SPEAKER_00
I just go, no, no, no, this is, they didn t find me, they haven t been waiting for me.
5
SPEAKER_00
I just happened to be in the same Joe and the Juice as them.
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you know what I mean?
5
SPEAKER_00
And it s like, ah, I might as well, you know?
5
SPEAKER_01
I love that, that s amazing.
5
SPEAKER_01
But no, I do love how conscious you were of that.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it s so fun because
5
SPEAKER_01
that mindset, that approach to success, that approach to fame makes everything just feel wonderful and beautiful.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it makes everything so, you know, in the sense of when I don t, I don t mean perfection.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, in the sense of, it gives you a sense of joy in an interaction, removing the expectation and the weight that can come with it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
I also just think you have to just take it all with a bag of salt.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
All of it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Everything.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
everything, good, bad.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know, if you just can take it with the same bag of salt and distance yourself from it, you can just sort of go, well, that s over there.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s happening over there.
5
SPEAKER_00
But what s really, I m here and here are my friends and my family and all those things.
5
SPEAKER_00
And also just being so aware of like,
5
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how lucky you are, how lucky you are.
5
SPEAKER_00
And if you lose sense of that, and I understand when people do, by the way, and I have, you know, other points in my career and in my life, and I don t, I m not walking around like this every day, like I have all those same things, right?
5
SPEAKER_00
So it s not like I m sort of floating around.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m really, really not.
5
SPEAKER_00
And a lot of this really is predicated on just how much sleep I get.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s true for all of us.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like that is it, that s it.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know what, I ve been on this supplement recently.
5
SPEAKER_01
I was talking to my, so I m very into, you know, biohacking and health and all the rest of it.
5
SPEAKER_01
And so I was, I ve been testing this supplement that I ve been having for the last 30 days.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it s, it s like boosted my mitochondria so much that I can t get to sleep.
5
SPEAKER_01
I have so much energy.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I was telling, I was telling my doctor, I was like, mate, I really want to sleep.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like I enjoy sleep.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m someone, I m not someone who sacrifices sleep.
5
SPEAKER_01
I enjoy sleep.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I haven t been able, I haven t really been able to sleep because of this one supplement.
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you think that s anything to do with that also jet lag and the time difference?
5
SPEAKER_01
I think there s a bit of that, but I ve been here for like 30 days now.
5
SPEAKER_01
So I m like, it should have gone in after a week or two, but I agree with you coming from LA to London is the harshest jet lag.
5
SPEAKER_01
right?
5
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Because I go from sleeping at nine.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, it s really rough.
5
SPEAKER_01
And so it could be that, but I feel like, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Sleep is, we so rarely, I mean, I think there are, I m saying rarely talk about, we probably talk about it more now than we ever have in the last 40 years, but like,
5
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Sleep is this extraordinary gift.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I think I m probably more aware of it now because I ve got a 12 year old who seems to think that sleep is some sort of punishment.
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you know what I mean?
5
SPEAKER_00
He views sleep as like, why would you do this to me?
5
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, dude, I don t want to be awake right now, you know?
5
SPEAKER_00
And it s something like,
5
SPEAKER_00
in Alan de Botton s new book, which I just bought for you as a gift, which I think is called A Therapeutic Journey.
5
SPEAKER_00
A Therapeutic Journey, which I bought for you.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if you want to plug other people s books.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s not as good as How to Live Like a Man.
5
SPEAKER_01
Alan de Botton and The School of Life.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m a big fan.
5
SPEAKER_01
Genius.
5
SPEAKER_00
Very big fan.
5
SPEAKER_00
And he s got a section in that book where he talks about sleep and he says, when you ve got a newborn baby,
5
SPEAKER_00
When you ve got a newborn baby, you are very, your only intention is to put this child into a routine and make sure that they sleep at the right time for the right amount of time.
5
SPEAKER_00
So therefore you feed it the right food to make sure it s the right, we have to, because if you don t get the right sleep, they are going to be awful tomorrow.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then at some point,
5
SPEAKER_00
we just decide, well, I don t need to do that.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s only for a baby.
5
SPEAKER_00
I can sit with my phone at midnight, just looking at stream of 30 second videos to then carry on to not sleep.
5
SPEAKER_00
And imagine that I m going to be okay tomorrow.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I find that sleep is,
5
SPEAKER_00
just like this gift.
5
SPEAKER_00
And the better sleep I have, without question, in every facet of my life, I m better.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like I m really thinking about, you don t drink, right?
5
SPEAKER_00
How long have you not drunk?
5
SPEAKER_01
I would say, how old am I?
5
SPEAKER_01
Like maybe 18 years or something.
5
SPEAKER_00
Right, but did you ever, were you?
5
SPEAKER_00
Right, okay.
5
SPEAKER_01
I was never an alcoholic, but I drank socially, enjoyed it, had fun, loved drinking games, like used to hang out with the lads and like, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
So you re about where I am.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I really, really, I very rarely drink at home.
5
SPEAKER_00
I never really get in and go, I m going to have a glass of wine or a gin and tonic.
5
SPEAKER_00
But if I go out and if I m out, I m like, I love the feeling of being,
5
SPEAKER_00
three and a half drinks in, between three and six, I am, look at Roger s face, he knows what I m talking about.
5
SPEAKER_00
I am, I can feel it in my knees and I love it, right?
5
SPEAKER_00
And now as I ve got older, I m just really, I m
6
SPEAKER_00
I m going to really try to just stop doing that, like with no great declaration.
6
SPEAKER_00
I just am really, really going to try not to do that because a good friend of mine, my friend Jez, I spoke to him about it and I was like, how did you just manage to just, did you just stop doing this?
6
SPEAKER_00
And he said something to me, and I think you ll really like this.
6
SPEAKER_00
He said, I started asking myself, and I do think this changes post probably like 37, 38, it starts to change in your body.
6
SPEAKER_00
And he said, I started to ask myself, how much of tomorrow do I want to borrow?
6
SPEAKER_00
all I m doing now by drinking is borrowing from tomorrow.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s like you re going to a cash point, you re going to a cash point and you re going, I m going to withdraw three hours from tomorrow that I will be useless.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then probably if I just borrow three hours, around about noon or one, I ll start to feel okay.
6
SPEAKER_00
So I m borrowing from tomorrow.
6
SPEAKER_00
And how many hours do you want to borrow?
6
SPEAKER_00
And sometimes you borrow a day.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then the only way you think you can rescue that day is to go, let s have another one.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I thought that was a really amazing way of looking at it.
6
SPEAKER_00
And so my intention is to really try and not do that.
6
SPEAKER_00
I just want to try and just be healthier.
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t even sort of think about
6
SPEAKER_00
weight loss anymore.
6
SPEAKER_00
I ve done that so many times in my life.
6
SPEAKER_00
Just made so many like decisions of just right, this is it.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m not going to go on.
6
SPEAKER_00
Why don t you change that?
6
SPEAKER_00
Cause that isn t working.
6
SPEAKER_00
Why don t you just only try and do what is healthy and see how that impacts your frame.
6
SPEAKER_00
You know?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, no, I like that approach.
6
SPEAKER_01
I mean, you know, I think it s natural when we re recording this, it s like New Year s resolutions and start of the year and all that kind of stuff.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I think all of us know that about 80% of us drop off by the end of January, by February, we re not practicing this New Year s resolution, this massive commitment we made.
6
SPEAKER_01
And it s almost because we go from this huge extreme from being indulgent in December to trying to be hyper-intentional in January.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
And trying to go from one extreme to the other and none of us can hack that, it doesn t work.
6
SPEAKER_00
Well, a friend of mine said a really good thing to me.
6
SPEAKER_00
My friend Simon said to me, he said, you need to stop going on a diet because my weight has gone up and down.
6
SPEAKER_00
You know, I can see it in
6
SPEAKER_00
too many videos on YouTube, like where I was up, where I was down.
6
SPEAKER_00
I used to have like three sets of suits.
6
SPEAKER_00
Lauren Shapiro, who was our wardrobe designer on the show, who I am now saying, as I said it out loud, would have hated hearing her name on your podcast.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I, my time with her, I used to just love so much because like I said, so much of the day would be a lot of people.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then it would just be me and her choosing suits and choosing what I m going to wear.
6
SPEAKER_00
And we d chat about the day and, you know, we ve had moments where we cracking up laughing if other days where one of us is really down and it would just be this little precious moment in this very small,
6
SPEAKER_00
walk-in closet that was off my office where all the suits were.
6
SPEAKER_00
And my time with, those are the things I really miss.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s the stuff I really, really miss.
6
SPEAKER_00
And she very, very subtly, and we never talked about it,
6
SPEAKER_00
We never, ever talked about it, but I knew what she did and I was grateful was she basically started organizing my suits into like really fat, fat and always looking good.
6
SPEAKER_00
You could see, and she would just, she, no, but she would just very, very in the, in just, and I would go, and then we just became a thing where I d be like, yeah, I think we re, you know, particularly if we came off a hiatus or a go away and just, I d go,
6
SPEAKER_00
I think we re going to be and she d be like, and we d never really speak about it.
6
SPEAKER_00
But my friend, my friend said, my friend, Simon said, you stop going on a diet.
6
SPEAKER_00
I said, what do you mean?
6
SPEAKER_00
He said, you got to stop.
6
SPEAKER_00
You ve got to stop going on a diet.
6
SPEAKER_00
He said, because going on a diet is like going on a holiday.
6
SPEAKER_00
You are going to return.
6
SPEAKER_00
You re going to come back.
6
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
6
SPEAKER_00
He said, if you go on a diet, what you re saying is, this is short term.
6
SPEAKER_00
He said, you need to just go, this is how I live now.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s good.
6
SPEAKER_00
And this is it.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s not going, I don t eat any bread.
6
SPEAKER_00
No, no.
6
SPEAKER_00
In moderation.
6
SPEAKER_00
It d be pretty good for you to eat certain types of bread, but that s it.
6
SPEAKER_00
And you re gonna, don t just stop this thing of being like, oh guys, I m on a diet.
6
SPEAKER_00
And he was like, and stop broadcasting it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Stop saying it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Just stop saying it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Just go, this is what I m gonna do.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna try and exercise like this.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna try and walk like I m trying to do.
6
SPEAKER_00
And just be like, no, no, I m gonna eat this.
6
SPEAKER_00
And don t be like, well, I wanna be down.
6
SPEAKER_00
20 pounds in 35 days, like, cause you ve done that.
6
SPEAKER_00
And you know how that plays out.
6
SPEAKER_00
Don t go on something, just change something.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s good.
6
SPEAKER_01
I like that.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
On a diet, on a holiday.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s good.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s strong.
6
SPEAKER_01
You ve got some wise friends, James.
6
SPEAKER_01
I do.
6
SPEAKER_01
There s a lot of good, there s a lot of great advice.
6
SPEAKER_00
Are these friends for like life?
6
SPEAKER_00
Are these friends recently like... Some of my friends I ve known probably, yeah, probably about nine, nine years.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then I have, yeah, I have like friends who I ve known for 35 years, you know what I mean?
6
SPEAKER_01
What s it taking to keep those?
6
SPEAKER_01
Because I find like, I ve been talking to a lot of my male friends about this recently, and this idea of, you know, do we have, do you have a friend that you could call in the middle of the night?
6
SPEAKER_01
and you know they would pick up, they would turn up, they would be there.
6
SPEAKER_01
Because if you have one of those friends, that s pretty rare and pretty incredible, especially as men, I find sometimes it s almost harder to have those vulnerable relationships.
6
SPEAKER_01
But you seem to be having a lot of open, vulnerable, healthy conversations with
6
SPEAKER_00
But I think it s much, but I think it s easier now.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think it s easier now than it used to be.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think, I hope we re going to move into a generation of men.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I think you and your show is responsible for that.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think lots of, I think just the ability to just be like, I m struggling.
6
SPEAKER_00
is a thing which I think for a very long time, men were conditioned to, that that was weak.
6
SPEAKER_00
And actually, it s almost certainly the bravest thing you can do.
6
SPEAKER_00
It is a tremendous act of bravery to say, I m not doing too great at the minute.
6
SPEAKER_00
And as soon as those words leave your mouth,
6
SPEAKER_00
I reckon 20% of those things have gone.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I m very, very fortunate.
6
SPEAKER_00
I just have a lot of friends that I ve known for a very long time and I love them and I tell them I love them.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I enjoy
6
SPEAKER_00
the company of people so much, you know, I just, you know, it s interesting you talk about who would call it, like my friend Louis that I was just telling you about who we wrote that script together.
6
SPEAKER_00
Louis had a previous life where he used to, he would go out sometimes for three days.
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t think he d mind me saying this.
6
SPEAKER_00
He d go out for days on end.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I always, always, I mean, I said to Jules when we met, I said, just so you know,
6
SPEAKER_00
I ve got this friend, Louis, and he goes out for a long time.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like, you know what London was like in those times?
6
SPEAKER_00
In these very streets.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I said, if he calls me, I always, I have to pick up.
6
SPEAKER_00
Always pick up.
6
SPEAKER_00
Because I always used to think he might be in trouble.
6
SPEAKER_00
This resulted in some of the funniest things I ve ever heard.
6
SPEAKER_00
Him calling me at
6
SPEAKER_00
two, three, four, five in the morning, resulted in some of the funniest things I ve ever heard.
6
SPEAKER_00
And so that s why I say to anybody who doesn t pick up the phone to a friend in the night, it might not always be bad.
6
SPEAKER_00
It might be, he called me once, I think it s okay to tell you this, he called me once and I was like, for half three in the morning, I said, hey man,
6
SPEAKER_00
And he went, and he s drunk, and he went, I m gonna tell you something now, and it s a fact.
6
SPEAKER_00
I went, what?
6
SPEAKER_00
He went, it s a fact.
6
SPEAKER_00
I went, sorry?
6
SPEAKER_00
He went, what I m about to tell you is a fact.
6
SPEAKER_00
It is a fact of life, and I would like to share it with you.
6
SPEAKER_00
I said, okay, this is quarter four, and he s like, it is a fact, James.
6
SPEAKER_00
that I have never and will never see the Jersey Boys.
7
SPEAKER_02
goodbye and hung up the phone.
7
SPEAKER_02
And so, yeah, I don t know.
7
SPEAKER_02
I think friendship is, I think it s sort of everything, isn t it?
7
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Like, it s, I cherish it so much.
7
SPEAKER_02
I also think, you know, with kids, it s really important for them to see you
7
SPEAKER_02
with friends, to not separate those things, to be, to involve your friends with your children and your children with your friends because I m really aware that like my son s 12 and like he s right now,
7
SPEAKER_02
we just get on great.
7
SPEAKER_02
We get on so well.
7
SPEAKER_02
We get on so well.
7
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I love, it s beautiful.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I m so aware that that is about to change.
7
SPEAKER_02
Because that is just nature.
7
SPEAKER_02
I took about a year ago, before we moved back, I took my son,
7
SPEAKER_02
I can t even remember what happened, but he was kind of stroppy and he stomped upstairs.
7
SPEAKER_02
He s really not that kind of boy, but he did.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I went upstairs and I sat in his room and I just went to him, I said, can I ask you some questions?
7
SPEAKER_02
And he was quite taken aback, because he thought I was going to go, what was that about?
7
SPEAKER_02
And I went, can I ask you some questions?
7
SPEAKER_02
And he went, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
I said, do you think I love you?
7
SPEAKER_02
And he went, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
I said, do you think I would ever do anything to intentionally hurt or upset you?
7
SPEAKER_02
He said, no.
7
SPEAKER_02
I said, and do you think in the 11 years that you ve been on earth, do you think I ve changed dramatically?
7
SPEAKER_02
He went, no, I went well done.
7
SPEAKER_02
You scored a hundred percent.
7
SPEAKER_02
They are all the right answers.
7
SPEAKER_02
I said, and I m telling you this because over the next few years,
7
SPEAKER_02
There are going to be points you are going to think I don t love you.
7
SPEAKER_02
You are going to think I am intentionally trying to hurt or upset you.
7
SPEAKER_02
And you re going to think that I ve changed.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I need you to remember this, that I haven t changed.
7
SPEAKER_02
We haven t changed.
7
SPEAKER_02
You ve changed and you need to, and you have to.
7
SPEAKER_02
And you are going to go through immeasurable changes in your life and body.
7
SPEAKER_02
And all we are trying to do, me, your mom, your sisters, and it s gonna happen to them too, are just trying to help you navigate these bumps that are gonna come your way and these changes, both mental and physical, that are happening for you.
7
SPEAKER_02
But I need you to know that I haven t changed.
7
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I m never trying to intentionally hurt or upset you.
7
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And I love you.
7
SPEAKER_02
I love you more than you ll ever know.
7
SPEAKER_02
And he went.
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SPEAKER_02
I think we should have some sort of code word, so I remember this.
7
SPEAKER_02
And so we came up with some silly code word that I would just say to him, like, do you remember?
7
SPEAKER_02
And he d be like, oh yeah, you haven t changed.
7
SPEAKER_02
I was like, my hair hasn t changed, dude.
7
SPEAKER_02
I got the same hairstyle that I had when I was 18 years old, you know.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I refill that with friendship, that I m so painfully aware.
7
SPEAKER_02
that there s going to come a point where the influences that aren t me are going to become bigger on my children for a moment.
7
SPEAKER_02
And so if I can make sure that those other people that they look to are.
7
SPEAKER_02
people who are aligned with how I feel, then it s going to be great, you know?
7
SPEAKER_00
I m Katherine Nicolai, and you might know me from the Bedtime Story podcast, Nothing Much Happens.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m an architect of cozy, and I invite you to come spend some time where everyone is welcome and kindness is the default.
7
SPEAKER_00
When you tune in, you ll hear stories about bakeries and walks in the woods, a favorite booth at the diner on a blustery autumn day, cats and dogs and rescued goats and donkeys.
7
SPEAKER_00
Old houses, bookshops, beaches where kites fly, and pretty stones are found.
7
SPEAKER_00
I have so many stories to tell you, and they are all designed to help you feel good and feel connected to what is good in the world.
7
SPEAKER_00
Listen, relax, enjoy.
7
SPEAKER_00
Listen to stories from the Village of Nothing Much on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
7
SPEAKER_04
Get emotional with me, Radhi Devlukia, in my new podcast, A Really Good Cry.
7
SPEAKER_04
We re going to talk about and go through all the things that are sometimes difficult to process alone.
7
SPEAKER_04
We re going to go over how to regulate your emotions, diving deep into holistic personal development, and just building your mindset to have a happier, healthier life.
7
SPEAKER_04
We re going to be talking with some of my best friends.
7
SPEAKER_00
I didn t know we were going to go there.
7
SPEAKER_04
People that I admire.
7
SPEAKER_04
When we say listen to your body, really tune in to what s going on.
7
SPEAKER_04
Authors of books that have changed my life.
7
SPEAKER_04
Now you re talking about sympathy, which is different than empathy, right?
7
SPEAKER_04
And basically have conversations that can help us get through this crazy thing we call life.
7
SPEAKER_04
I already believe in myself.
7
SPEAKER_04
I already see myself.
7
SPEAKER_04
And so when people give me an opportunity, I m just like,
7
SPEAKER_04
Oh great, you see me too!
7
SPEAKER_04
We ll laugh together, we ll cry together, and find a way through all of our emotions.
7
SPEAKER_04
Never forget, it s okay to cry, as long as you make it a really good one.
7
SPEAKER_04
Listen to A Really Good Cry with Radhi Devlukia on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
7
SPEAKER_01
Something that makes me crazy is when people say, well, I had this career before, but it was a waste.
7
SPEAKER_01
And that s where the perspective shift comes.
7
SPEAKER_01
That it s not a waste, that everything you ve done has built you to where you are now.
7
SPEAKER_01
This is She Pivots.
7
SPEAKER_01
the podcast where we explore the inspiring pivots women have made and dig deeper into the personal reasons behind them.
7
SPEAKER_01
Join me, Emily Tish Sussman, every Wednesday on She Pivots, as I sit down with inspiring women like Misty Copeland, Brooke Shields, Vanessa Hudgens, and so many more.
7
SPEAKER_01
We dive into how these women made their pivot and their mindset shifts that happened as a result.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s a podcast about women, their stories, and how their pivot became their success.
7
SPEAKER_01
Listen to She Pivots on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
7
SPEAKER_03
And sometimes they re going to take advice from dad s friend more than they are from dad.
7
SPEAKER_03
they are going to seek it.
7
SPEAKER_02
They re going to absolutely seek those other role models, particularly boys.
7
SPEAKER_02
I think that s right.
7
SPEAKER_02
Is that right?
7
SPEAKER_02
I think that s right.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
I don t know if that s completely right, but I do think that there is perhaps more of a thing between boys and dads and, you know, it s such a strange thing.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s so odd, you know.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I remember.
7
SPEAKER_03
So you wouldn t know this because we didn t know each other then, but we became friendly with James Longman on your team years ago.
7
SPEAKER_03
And so Long has invited me to come and watch the show.
7
SPEAKER_03
This is when I first moved to LA, when I first moved there.
7
SPEAKER_03
So this was like five years ago.
7
SPEAKER_03
And yeah, and I got to come and he s wonderful, obviously.
7
SPEAKER_03
He s the greatest.
7
SPEAKER_03
So he showed me around.
7
SPEAKER_03
I got to see all the rooms and like, you know, the green rooms and everything.
7
SPEAKER_03
He just gave me the best tour ever.
7
SPEAKER_03
It s great.
7
SPEAKER_03
Took me to the photo wall.
7
SPEAKER_03
I got to put up a fake photo of myself on the wall as if I d been on the show.
7
SPEAKER_03
You know, all of it was really sweet.
7
SPEAKER_03
And we didn t know each other at all then, of course.
7
SPEAKER_03
And I didn t know anyone else apart from him.
7
SPEAKER_03
And I was just really excited to be there because I was such a fan of the show.
7
SPEAKER_03
And I remember you were so wonderful, even in between the show where you re in between segments, like it s not live and you would come and chat to the audience, you d shake people s hands.
7
SPEAKER_03
And then I remember you d go and call your kids and you d literally sit at the desk in between and you d tell us, you d be like, guys, I m just going to call my family because I m going to say goodnight to my kids.
7
SPEAKER_03
And it was so amazing to see someone who s in the middle of everything you described so phenomenally earlier,
7
SPEAKER_03
But then being like, I just want to say goodnight to my kids because it s that late, right?
7
SPEAKER_03
However late it was at that time.
7
SPEAKER_03
I think kids were going back to bed at seven.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it s about seven o clock.
7
SPEAKER_03
Seven or whatever it may have been.
7
SPEAKER_03
And I remember you FaceTiming them and then we got to wave at the kids.
7
SPEAKER_03
And I just remember how special that was.
7
SPEAKER_03
And I just think, you know, I ve heard you say before that, you know, for so many years, your family was marching to the beat of your drum.
7
SPEAKER_03
Like they were there for you.
7
SPEAKER_03
They were just holding it together for you so that you could,
7
SPEAKER_03
build and create.
7
SPEAKER_03
And I just think about moments like that, that you were having with them.
7
SPEAKER_02
I m so worried that the show you came to was terrible.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s all I can think about.
8
SPEAKER_00
It was Mark Ruffalo, he was great, he was great, he was great.
8
SPEAKER_00
But like, that s really what really resulted in us moving back is the truth is, you know.
8
SPEAKER_00
Like my wife just walks to the beat of my drum.
8
SPEAKER_00
My family, you know, we re going to New York, we re going to LA, I m going here, I m going there.
8
SPEAKER_00
Babe, I m going to do this thing in Australia.
8
SPEAKER_00
You re good here with the kids, you know what I mean?
8
SPEAKER_00
Honestly, I genuinely feel I get the feeling that you might be like this.
8
SPEAKER_00
I feel like I could live anywhere.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, anywhere.
8
SPEAKER_00
I could live anywhere.
8
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Because we re very fortunate that you re here now in London, you re going to go back, you re gonna go to India, you re gonna go to New York, you re gonna go to LA, like, what a privilege.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m so aware that that
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SPEAKER_00
hasn t been my wife s life for the last 12 years, 13, 14 years, you know?
8
SPEAKER_00
And so really our decision to move backwards, like I was gonna stop the show regardless, you know, there was a moment where I was gonna stop it a bit earlier and then
8
SPEAKER_00
It was done so beautifully, my leaving of the show.
8
SPEAKER_00
Like me and my boss, George, just sat in my office and literally talked it out like this.
8
SPEAKER_00
No agents, no lawyers, no nothing.
8
SPEAKER_00
Like I said, I d like to leave at this date.
8
SPEAKER_00
He said,
8
SPEAKER_00
Is there any way I can get you to stay to this day?
8
SPEAKER_00
It s like, I can t stay to that day.
8
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Cause we ve got to resettle the kids who ve got like, they have to start school in September, you know?
8
SPEAKER_00
And then at one point it was going to be May.
8
SPEAKER_00
And then there was like, I think there s golf and masters and all these, and we literally just were like,
8
SPEAKER_00
Okay, we ll end it then and that ll give us the right gap.
8
SPEAKER_00
And all of that came from me just saying to Jules, like, I ll live it anyway.
8
SPEAKER_00
Like, where do you want to be?
8
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Where do you think it s best for us to be?
8
SPEAKER_00
Because I know she would never make a decision that isn t best for the kids.
8
SPEAKER_00
Forget me.
8
SPEAKER_00
And she was just like, I think it s time to go home.
8
SPEAKER_00
I was like, okay, that s it.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I m so.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m so grateful that we did.
8
SPEAKER_00
Just in my family, before Christmas, my mum sings in a choir.
8
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It s not a church choir, it s just a choir with some of her friends.
8
SPEAKER_00
And we all went out to High Wycombe to watch her sing in this choir.
8
SPEAKER_00
I sat in this room in John Hamden,
8
SPEAKER_00
sports hall or their, you know, theatre or just a school hall that we were in.
8
SPEAKER_00
I cried my eyes out.
8
I cried.
8
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I couldn t stop crying because my mum was in this choir with like 40 other people.
8
SPEAKER_00
singing Christmas songs, and it was so pure.
8
SPEAKER_00
It was so pure.
8
SPEAKER_00
It was so the antithesis of what our life had been in Los Angeles.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I, my mum was in the corner of the screen, you know, like, and I just, she couldn t stop smiling.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I just thought, oh my God, this purity that s here.
8
SPEAKER_00
These are a group of women and men in there.
8
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I guess they range between 30 to 60 people.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I just was like,
8
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This is everything.
8
SPEAKER_00
I don t want to be anywhere else.
8
SPEAKER_00
This is, I only want to be here.
8
SPEAKER_00
And it was so weird.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s so weird, the effect it has on me even now saying it.
8
SPEAKER_00
I can t understand it.
8
SPEAKER_00
I can t tell you why.
8
SPEAKER_00
I think it just felt in that minute like,
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh, this is the sacrifice.
8
SPEAKER_00
This is why we made what you would perceive to be a great sacrifice.
8
SPEAKER_00
This is the reason.
8
SPEAKER_00
Something here that I would never see, I would never come back for, I would never be part of.
8
SPEAKER_00
And then my dad joined them with a few numbers playing the saxophone.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I just was like, oh my God, this is worth everything.
8
SPEAKER_00
This is everything I need to feed me and my kids watching their grandma sing this song.
8
SPEAKER_00
I was like, how lucky are we to appreciate and have this experience to have come back and everyone be healthy, you know?
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, for sure.
8
SPEAKER_01
What does it take in the marriage for that communication, even the fact that you re both asking each other questions, you re both checking in with each other, that s not easy, it s challenging.
8
SPEAKER_01
What has that taken from both of you to really be able to make those big decisions together?
8
SPEAKER_00
It s taken me learning from my wife.
8
SPEAKER_00
That s it.
8
SPEAKER_00
That s it.
8
SPEAKER_00
Like she, I think has always known and always figured out how to communicate, how to do this.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I think I ve been terrible at it.
8
SPEAKER_00
I think I ve been rubbish at it.
8
SPEAKER_00
Cause I think I lived for a very long time, an existence of just, nothing will move me from this train I m on.
8
SPEAKER_00
This is it.
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you re hopping on?
8
SPEAKER_00
Great.
8
SPEAKER_00
But this is the thing.
8
SPEAKER_00
And actually, you then realize that that isn t the case.
8
SPEAKER_00
I mean, we don t argue very much.
8
SPEAKER_00
We really, really try to talk in the day.
8
SPEAKER_00
right, to not make it the last thing we do, even if you are going to bed with like, and it s more her than me.
8
SPEAKER_00
And she s like, well, I m gonna talk to you about that tomorrow.
8
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
8
SPEAKER_00
But it s so much better than going to bed, going to sleep.
8
SPEAKER_00
Just don t go to sleep on an argument.
8
SPEAKER_00
That s the first thing.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I think I learned quite,
8
SPEAKER_00
probably halfway through our marriage, that actually...
8
SPEAKER_00
If all you re doing, and this is an almost impossible thing to do, but if you re at least trying to, you re pretty much there, is if you re going, well, if all you re trying to do is meet your partner s needs, then all yours in turn will be met.
8
SPEAKER_00
They just will.
8
SPEAKER_00
Like how many times do we hear, it s funny, we had a friend of ours, a friend of my wife s, they re friends of ours, but you know, if we ever broke up, she d get her.
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh man, now you ve got me thinking about all our friends.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh, divide it up.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s quite a fun game.
8
SPEAKER_00
I think my wife s going to take my stuff.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s quite a fun game.
8
SPEAKER_00
And she was saying, this was a few years ago now, she was like, oh, he just never does anything for me.
8
SPEAKER_00
He never surprises me and takes me out for dinner.
8
SPEAKER_00
He never says, oh, like, oh, I m, you know, buys a theatre ticket.
8
SPEAKER_00
He never says, oh, Friday night, me and you, let s do this.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I just went, well, when do you do it?
8
SPEAKER_00
How often do you do that?
8
SPEAKER_00
And she went, well, I don t.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, right.
8
SPEAKER_00
you have to see that that might be a, that that might be a thing.
8
SPEAKER_00
For all we know, he s sat somewhere now going, she never takes me out.
8
SPEAKER_00
She never, cause let s go to the cinema.
8
SPEAKER_00
And she was like, oh, and that s it in its most base level.
8
SPEAKER_00
I think that s probably the thing I ve learned the most.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
I love hearing about your relationships and the way you talk about your relationships.
8
SPEAKER_01
Obviously this whole shift in your life is because of your relationships.
8
SPEAKER_01
And so,
8
SPEAKER_01
it s so wonderful to hear about it.
8
SPEAKER_01
And you were giving me credit earlier for hopefully changing conversations around masculinity, but I think you did that very much so as well with your bromance comic relief videos with David Beckham.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I d always appreciate those when they came out.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I know you guys have a real bromance, but seeing it on screen was always a real treat, whether you re doing the Calvin Klein ads together or doing each other s nails or whatever it was, it was so funny.
8
SPEAKER_01
And you went to the premiere recently of his documentary, which I thought was just phenomenal.
8
SPEAKER_01
I read Bex s autobiography when I was like 15 or something, and it was life changing.
8
SPEAKER_01
I loved it.
8
SPEAKER_01
And getting to watch the doc was obviously reliving it again.
8
SPEAKER_00
I mean, what a story.
8
SPEAKER_00
What a story, right?
8
SPEAKER_00
Just the whole thing.
8
SPEAKER_00
When I watched it,
8
SPEAKER_00
It really, really reminded me.
8
SPEAKER_00
Have you ever watched Aaron Sorkin s commencement speech at Syracuse University?
8
SPEAKER_00
I have not.
8
SPEAKER_00
No, I have not.
8
SPEAKER_00
Actually, me saying, you know, when I get my driver s license, my life will be like this.
8
SPEAKER_00
He actually says that in that speech.
8
SPEAKER_00
He talks about that.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I think that was the first time
9
SPEAKER_00
I realized that like, oh, that s what I have always done.
9
SPEAKER_00
His commencement speech at Syracuse University is brilliant.
9
SPEAKER_00
As you can imagine, it s just so brilliantly written and he delivers it
9
SPEAKER_00
it s exceptional.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s my favorite thing to watch on YouTube is people s commencement addresses and his is particularly good and I would urge anybody to go and look at it.
9
SPEAKER_00
I use it, I quote it, it s fed into me, you know, and he says a brilliant line and it really came
9
SPEAKER_00
to the forefront of my mind, watching the Beckham documentary, where he says, the world doesn t care how many times you get knocked down, so long as it s one less than the amount of times you get back up again.
9
SPEAKER_00
And that s what I think the Beckham doc is.
9
SPEAKER_00
It is a story.
9
SPEAKER_00
of a man who just doesn t stop.
9
SPEAKER_00
He just gets back up and he carries on.
9
SPEAKER_00
And that s what it s about.
9
SPEAKER_00
You could say it s about the first sportsman to become a global brand and icon.
9
SPEAKER_00
You could talk about it s the first family to have become
9
SPEAKER_00
perhaps in Britain, outside of the royal family, a family of intrigue and interest.
9
SPEAKER_00
You could say it s a story about fame and sport.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s not.
9
SPEAKER_00
I think it s a story of someone who just kept going through adversity, through challenges, just got up and carried on.
9
SPEAKER_00
And that s why I think it s resonated so much with people.
9
SPEAKER_00
Because it s interesting.
9
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if you found this, but like, it s interesting being British and watching it.
9
SPEAKER_00
So then it s because people in America are like, I had no idea.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, those football, those soccer fans, the way they were with him.
9
SPEAKER_00
And you re like, yeah, no, I know.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
I remember the effigy.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
You know, and then, and then Greece and that like, that s where sports though can transcend everything.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s like, it s, it s why I think sport and music,
9
SPEAKER_00
I think sports stars and musicians are, I think their fame is so different to actors and performers and hosts and writers.
9
SPEAKER_00
And I think their fame is something different because they give you moments.
9
SPEAKER_00
They give you moments in like,
9
SPEAKER_00
And really what I put those moments down to is they made you feel less alone.
9
SPEAKER_00
That s actually what it is.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s why our relationship with singers and recording artists is so personal because I was in this play called The History Boys and it was written by Alan Bennett and there was a speech that Richard Griffiths used to deliver every night and he d say,
9
SPEAKER_00
the best moments in poetry are when you think a thought or a feeling is particular to you.
9
SPEAKER_00
And then suddenly someone who is long dead, you may will never meet.
9
SPEAKER_00
Now he says someone who you will never meet, perhaps even long dead.
9
SPEAKER_00
has written down the very thing you re feeling.
9
SPEAKER_00
And it s like a hand has reached out and taken yours.
9
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And it says to you, you re not on your own.
9
SPEAKER_00
You re not on your own.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s a great bit in a John Lennon documentary where there s a guy saying to John Lennon, that song you wrote, that was about me.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s about me.
9
SPEAKER_00
That s how I am.
9
SPEAKER_00
And then John Lennon s going, they re just songs.
9
SPEAKER_00
They re just songs.
9
SPEAKER_00
It isn t that.
9
SPEAKER_00
And he s going, no, but it is.
9
SPEAKER_00
You wrote that about me because you can t know how I felt.
9
SPEAKER_00
And so I think if you don t, suddenly you feel very alone.
9
SPEAKER_00
You hear something and you realize you re not.
9
SPEAKER_00
And then I think sport, when David Beckham,
9
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curled that free kick in the top corner, which we qualified for the World Cup.
9
SPEAKER_00
It did not matter, Tory, Conservative, Republican, Democrat, left, right, all the stuff, the divisions, everything suddenly.
9
SPEAKER_00
and you re hugging people you don t know, you ve never met and you re brought together and you re not alone anymore.
9
SPEAKER_00
And that s where I think sport and music is such a powerful thing in our lives, which you don t feel when you watch a film.
9
SPEAKER_00
You can watch a film or a TV show and go, oh yeah, that was amazing.
9
SPEAKER_00
Even if it moved you hugely, that connection isn t the same, I don t think.
9
SPEAKER_01
That s why you gave him an ugly statue of himself.
9
SPEAKER_01
for all of that, mate, that was the best.
9
SPEAKER_01
I ve watched that a million times.
9
SPEAKER_00
That day, man, that was so much fun.
9
SPEAKER_00
That was just, you know, because pranks, they re the worst thing to film.
9
SPEAKER_00
They re awful because they could just go wrong at any point.
9
SPEAKER_00
They could go wrong, one notice of a camera and hundreds of thousands of dollars gone.
9
SPEAKER_00
And my God, that day just worked out in the best way.
9
SPEAKER_00
It was, oh,
9
SPEAKER_00
It s so good.
9
SPEAKER_01
If anyone s not seen it, it s so good.
9
SPEAKER_01
Like if you watch the doc and you love David Beckham and you love what James does, you have to go and see it.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s just, you made the ugliest statue.
9
SPEAKER_01
One of the best looking men.
9
SPEAKER_00
Well, I had the idea because do you remember the real Ronaldo one?
9
SPEAKER_00
Do you remember that?
9
SPEAKER_00
So then it was like, I remember going into Ben s office and going, because I think if they hadn t done that with Ronaldo in real life, I don t think David would have believed it.
9
SPEAKER_01
Right, right, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
But it was because it happened in real life with Cristiano Ronaldo that we were like, oh, hang on, we could do this.
9
SPEAKER_00
And I never thought it would work as well as it did.
9
SPEAKER_00
And credit, I have to say, to the actors in that sketch, I mean, just brilliant, pitch perfect.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, Manchester City, that was brilliant.
9
SPEAKER_00
Dave.
9
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It s amazing, it s amazing.
9
SPEAKER_01
Walk me through that, what you just said now, that you re in that space, six months you re reflecting, figuring it out.
9
SPEAKER_01
We re waiting for that next balloon.
9
SPEAKER_01
We ve let the other balloon go.
9
SPEAKER_01
What does James Corden s creative process, stillness, waiting for the idea, building an idea look like?
9
SPEAKER_01
What does that look like?
9
SPEAKER_01
Where does that, where does inspiration strike?
9
SPEAKER_01
Where does it come from?
9
SPEAKER_01
Where do you seek it when you ve let go of something without knowing what s next?
9
SPEAKER_00
What I m really trying,
9
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to do now is not
9
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rush anything.
9
SPEAKER_00
I spent a long time squeezing so many things in that actually now I just sort of think, well, don t force an idea to be whatever it is that you might write or do.
9
SPEAKER_00
But then at the same time, I think what I have to really be conscious of now is to not be too afraid.
9
SPEAKER_00
to not be too scared to do anything.
9
SPEAKER_00
Because I think I ve been so enjoying
9
SPEAKER_00
this feeling of not being on TV every day and putting out content on whether it s YouTube or social, I m so aware of how much was just being pushed out all the time.
9
SPEAKER_00
And that can come with so much stuff.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s good to sit and work, but then don t be scared to do it.
9
SPEAKER_00
Don t be scared of the failure of it.
9
SPEAKER_00
I ve only took a screen grab.
9
SPEAKER_00
I think it s the guy who s the new CEO of Vans Shoes, I think.
9
SPEAKER_00
We used to work at Logitech.
9
SPEAKER_00
And it says here, I ve just got the screen grab, which ran for a decade, which he ran for a decade.
9
SPEAKER_00
And he penned a Dr. Seuss-like poem titled The Secret to Success, Avoid It.
9
SPEAKER_00
It reads in part, success makes you fearful of losing your place.
9
SPEAKER_00
of gambling with stature, of losing your face.
9
SPEAKER_00
And it is, there is an element of that, which I feel, of like, well, there s a very, very, very real chance that you do something.
9
SPEAKER_00
and it s shit.
9
SPEAKER_00
You know?
9
SPEAKER_00
And all the greats have had that.
9
SPEAKER_00
They ve all done that.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
9
SPEAKER_00
But I think that s why I was so keen to, even in this period, to make this, this podcast called This Life of Mine to like go, well, no, I know, I know what this is like.
9
SPEAKER_00
This, this idea of this podcast is an idea I had when I was 16 and I wrote it out.
9
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
9
SPEAKER_00
I wrote it out and it was called Planet Lovely.
9
SPEAKER_00
Do you remember there used to be a TV show on BBC2 when we were growing up called Room 101?
9
SPEAKER_00
So Room 101 was a show where people would take things they hated in life and they would put them into Room 101 and they d be gone forever.
9
SPEAKER_00
It was a really funny show.
10
SPEAKER_00
It was a brilliant show and premise.
10
SPEAKER_00
And I was like 16.
10
SPEAKER_00
I was like, well, this is great.
10
SPEAKER_00
Wouldn t it be brilliant to make a show which is just people talking about things that they love and things that are really significant in their life?
10
SPEAKER_00
And I wrote this like thing, this Planet Lovely.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s not called Planet Lovely anymore.
10
SPEAKER_00
I came to the decision that that s a not great title.
10
SPEAKER_00
But I was like, why don t we just have people talk about
10
SPEAKER_00
things that are significant in their life, whether it s a film, a place, a person, a memory, a possession, a song.
10
SPEAKER_00
And I really, really wanted to do it.
10
SPEAKER_00
So I was like, can I create something in a completely different medium that feels,
10
SPEAKER_00
almost the antithesis of what The Late Late Show was.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s completely different.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s calm and it s quiet and it s soft.
10
SPEAKER_00
And it s people talking about things that they love or that were moments in their life.
10
SPEAKER_00
And like some of the stuff that we ve heard has just been great.
10
SPEAKER_00
So I ve really loved that creativity.
10
SPEAKER_00
I love the creativity of just,
10
SPEAKER_00
I don t, you know, like we re gonna put this on Sirius XM and hopefully people find it.
10
SPEAKER_00
And hopefully it will be just a piece of joy.
10
SPEAKER_00
It will be a warm hug on a Sunday afternoon.
10
SPEAKER_00
And that would be a lovely thing to put out into the world.
10
SPEAKER_00
But that s a sort of gestation period of 30 years.
10
SPEAKER_00
I don t think I should do that again.
10
SPEAKER_00
But I do think what I d really love to do is try and write one more thing.
10
SPEAKER_00
I d love to try and write one more thing.
10
SPEAKER_00
I d love to write again with Ruth Jones, who I wrote Gavin and Stacey with.
10
SPEAKER_00
I love her so much.
10
SPEAKER_00
She is and has been
10
SPEAKER_00
a constant in my life as a friend.
10
SPEAKER_00
And you want to talk about a long friendship, you know?
10
SPEAKER_00
And so I d love to try and write something else with her.
10
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what that ll be.
10
SPEAKER_00
I don t even know if we ll ever, if we ll do it, I don t know.
10
SPEAKER_00
But you know, we do have chats about,
10
SPEAKER_00
So that s what I d really love to do.
10
SPEAKER_00
Have you listened to Bradley Cooper talk about making maestro?
10
SPEAKER_02
He really just made a decision to give himself over entirely
10
SPEAKER_00
for three years to that project, to just go, well, what does it feel like actually to not move from one thing to the next, to be here, there, doing this, doing that?
10
SPEAKER_00
What does it feel like to just give myself over in every way?
10
SPEAKER_00
to the point where I imagine a lot of people around him on that set were earning more financially, but like as a challenge to give himself over to it in the most beautiful way, I think is so inspiring to watch.
10
SPEAKER_00
And I don t know if I ve ever done that.
10
SPEAKER_00
I don t, I know I haven t done that.
10
SPEAKER_00
I never liked that on that level, but like, I don t think I ve ever,
10
SPEAKER_00
completely just given myself over to something and seen it through from inception to pushing it on the water and letting other people decide whether it s good or not and seeing who I am the other side of it.
10
SPEAKER_00
That s I think, that would be a really,
10
SPEAKER_00
good thing to do.
10
SPEAKER_00
Like I might go to, I might go, there s this, I just found this like seven weekend course at the film school in Beaconsfield or seven, I don t know how many days, I can t, I don t, I might be wrong.
10
SPEAKER_00
But I like, I think, oh, well maybe I ll, maybe I ll do that.
10
SPEAKER_00
I wouldn t mind doing some acting classes.
10
SPEAKER_00
I didn t, I just wouldn t mind just going, well, can I, I wonder if there s one more thing.
10
SPEAKER_00
And if there isn t,
10
SPEAKER_00
how lucky was I?
10
SPEAKER_00
But I really feel like I might be getting to a spot where I might have something to say.
10
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_02
James, you re very unique and extremely thoughtful and conscious and so honest and genuine.
10
SPEAKER_02
It s been such a treat talking to you, honestly, like genuinely just sitting with you.
10
SPEAKER_02
And I know that I m listening to an actual stream of consciousness.
10
SPEAKER_02
more than curated answers.
10
SPEAKER_02
And you know, it s really powerful.
10
SPEAKER_02
It s been really, really special.
10
SPEAKER_02
And I want to thank you for giving me this space, holding this space and trusting me with it.
10
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it s a real thrill to sit and chat with you.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s great.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s a lovely thing you ve created here.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s brilliant.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s really brilliant what you re doing.
10
SPEAKER_00
I m so, it s strange.
10
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if you feel this, but I feel like
10
SPEAKER_00
there s a strange thing with like Brits that go to America.
10
SPEAKER_00
Cause it s only like, there s only a handful of us who know how hard it is and how vast that is.
10
SPEAKER_00
So like, when I look at, I look at your staff and I see the things that you re putting out and like, I think I walked past like a huge billboard of you the other week.
10
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, and I didn t, we d never met, but we have friends in common.
10
SPEAKER_00
And I was like,
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
I was like, go on boy.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
Not when I get to work yet.
10
SPEAKER_00
This is great.
10
SPEAKER_00
I was like, you re from, you re from Wood Green.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you re from Wood Green.
10
SPEAKER_01
Look at him.
10
SPEAKER_00
I m very proud of you with no reason to be.
10
SPEAKER_02
No, mate, I appreciate it and offline today and online, you ve given me a lot of mentorship and coaching that I ll take on and I ll practice in my life.
10
SPEAKER_02
Honestly, you ve left me with some really thoughtful pieces of insight, but we end every show with a final five and these are the fast five, which are answered in one word to one sentence maximum.
10
SPEAKER_02
Of course.
10
SPEAKER_02
And so, and I ll ruin that rule every time because you give such wonderful answers, but we ll try.
10
SPEAKER_02
We ll start there.
10
SPEAKER_02
So James, these are your fast five.
10
SPEAKER_02
First question is, what is the best advice you ve ever heard or received?
10
SPEAKER_00
To ask yourself, is this of my concern?
10
SPEAKER_00
Right.
10
SPEAKER_00
I m going to break it already, but I really think that phrase is one of the most important things you can hang on to is to just go,
10
SPEAKER_00
there s a great power in being able to say.
10
SPEAKER_00
That s none of my concern.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s more polite than saying, I don t care.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s more truthful than saying it s nothing to do with me.
10
SPEAKER_00
Cause sometimes it will be to do with you, but is it of your concern?
10
SPEAKER_00
Do you need to engage with it?
10
SPEAKER_00
You just go, I m sorry, what was that?
10
SPEAKER_00
Someone say something, think about it.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s none of my concern.
10
SPEAKER_00
and carry on.
10
SPEAKER_02
I love that.
10
SPEAKER_02
Super powerful.
10
SPEAKER_02
Okay, question number two.
10
SPEAKER_02
What is the worst piece of advice you ve ever heard or received?
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh, geez.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh God.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s weird, you know, I think just do it, right?
10
SPEAKER_00
The Nike, if you re in America and the Nike if you re in England, Britain, I think just do it is a brilliant slogan, right?
10
SPEAKER_00
I think it s one of the most powerful slogans in the world.
10
SPEAKER_00
And what makes it so powerful is the full stop, is the period.
10
SPEAKER_00
Just do it, right?
10
SPEAKER_00
Just do it.
10
SPEAKER_00
Great.
10
SPEAKER_00
But that can really have other connotations.
10
SPEAKER_00
So I would say, don t just do it.
10
SPEAKER_00
Ask whether you want to do it.
10
SPEAKER_00
Do you really want to do it?
10
SPEAKER_00
And then do it.
10
SPEAKER_01
I love how you just went up against the greatest slogan of all time.
10
SPEAKER_01
I do think it s a masterpiece.
10
SPEAKER_00
I just sometimes think, yeah, because it s like, you know, I would say like, you know, crystal meth.
10
SPEAKER_00
Don t just do it.
10
SPEAKER_00
Don t just do it.
10
SPEAKER_01
Really don t just do it.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I love it.
10
SPEAKER_01
Now the new one, when we go walking past the Nike store in England, it s going to be, do you really want to do it?
10
SPEAKER_01
Ask yourself, seriously, do you really want to do it?
10
SPEAKER_01
And if the answer s yes, just do it.
10
SPEAKER_01
I love it.
10
SPEAKER_01
I love it.
10
SPEAKER_01
I m looking forward to seeing that billboard with you on it.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s not as snappy.
10
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if it will really take off.
10
SPEAKER_01
Question number three, how would you define your current purpose?
10
SPEAKER_00
I think my current purpose
10
SPEAKER_00
is to let it be and accept whatever it is.
10
SPEAKER_00
And that s not work, that s life.
10
SPEAKER_00
Accept all of it.
10
SPEAKER_00
Don t get caught up in what you thought something should be.
10
SPEAKER_00
Just accept what it is and realize how incredibly amazing it is to just be alive.
11
SPEAKER_05
Question number four, what does it feel like when Tom Cruise says to you your life is more valuable than his?
11
SPEAKER_04
Feels like a lie, Jay.
11
SPEAKER_04
It was like, yeah, it feels like a lie.
11
SPEAKER_04
And I think I knew that at the time, but you believed it.
11
SPEAKER_04
I mean, man, he could say anything and I ll believe him.
11
SPEAKER_04
You know, anything at all.
11
SPEAKER_04
Like the guy is just exceptional.
11
SPEAKER_04
Oh my God.
11
SPEAKER_04
Amazing.
11
SPEAKER_05
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_05
Special.
11
SPEAKER_05
Uh, fifth and final question, which we asked every guest has ever been on the show.
11
SPEAKER_05
If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?
11
SPEAKER_04
I think the law should be for every minute you spend on social media, that when you come off the app, you re not allowed back on for that many minutes.
11
SPEAKER_04
So if you go on for an hour, you re locked out for an hour.
11
SPEAKER_04
If you re on for two minutes, you re locked out for two minutes.
11
SPEAKER_04
And I believe that should be the absolute law.
11
SPEAKER_04
I don t prescribe to this notion that these things should be banned.
11
SPEAKER_04
I think it s insane to think that.
11
SPEAKER_04
I just think that actually we regulate the speeds on the road.
11
SPEAKER_04
We regulate what age you are when you can vote, what age you are when you can get married.
11
SPEAKER_04
have a child, do a degree, drink alcohol, all these things.
11
SPEAKER_04
And actually, I think one regulation would be that if you need to, spend seven hours on it.
11
SPEAKER_04
The second it s dormant,
11
SPEAKER_04
for a minute, you re locked out for seven hours.
11
SPEAKER_04
And I think people would be, I think it would be great.
11
SPEAKER_04
I think it would be brilliant.
11
SPEAKER_04
That is genius.
11
SPEAKER_04
That s my law.
11
SPEAKER_05
That is genius.
11
SPEAKER_05
We ve never had anything like that on the show.
11
SPEAKER_04
That is genius.
11
SPEAKER_04
I pitched it once to, I was at some conference thing interviewing quite a prominent sort of Silicon Valley type, you know, CEO.
11
SPEAKER_04
And I pitched this as an idea in the room and it did not go down well.
11
SPEAKER_04
They did not respond as well as you did.
11
SPEAKER_04
They were like, why would we ever do that?
11
SPEAKER_04
We are monetizing all of their time.
11
SPEAKER_04
We want all of their time, James.
11
SPEAKER_04
We don t want some of their time.
11
SPEAKER_04
We want to steal it all.
11
SPEAKER_05
I m the opposite.
11
SPEAKER_05
I m thinking, how do we make that happen?
11
SPEAKER_05
Like, what?
11
SPEAKER_05
That s brilliant.
11
SPEAKER_04
I think it s a really interesting thing to play with.
11
SPEAKER_05
Because again, it s not, I m on a diet.
11
SPEAKER_05
I m on a detox.
11
SPEAKER_04
It s not, you know, going back to what you said.
11
SPEAKER_04
This is awful.
11
SPEAKER_04
I m not going to be on it for seven days.
11
SPEAKER_04
I think all of these things, all of these things, social media, like, you know, the way people, the way that, you know, the new thing where we talk about AI and it s like, of course it s terrifying.
11
SPEAKER_04
it s also going to be miraculous and brilliant.
11
SPEAKER_04
So nothing is all bad.
11
SPEAKER_04
Nothing is all good.
11
SPEAKER_04
No one is all bad.
11
SPEAKER_04
No one is all good.
11
SPEAKER_04
It s impossible.
11
SPEAKER_04
But what you can do is regulate these things in a sense.
11
SPEAKER_04
And if that was just the law, we would all accept it.
11
SPEAKER_04
We d all accept it and I m sure someone somewhere will find a hack that means you can t, but on the whole, people would just go along with it and they d be like, oh, I can t open it, I ll open it in a minute.
11
SPEAKER_04
And then they would stop and look up and realize that actually, maybe, maybe out here can nourish me more than it does in there.
11
SPEAKER_04
It s very hard to leave in there when it s always there.
11
SPEAKER_05
James, you re world class.
11
SPEAKER_05
This Life of Mine is available right now wherever you listen to podcasts.
11
SPEAKER_05
Sirius, right?
11
SPEAKER_04
Sirius XM.
11
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, Sirius XM.
11
SPEAKER_05
And so I hope you guys subscribe, follow, and look out for an episode.
11
SPEAKER_05
I m going to get to jump on the podcast too.
11
SPEAKER_05
I can t wait for you to be on.
11
SPEAKER_05
Really, really looking forward to that.
11
SPEAKER_05
It s going to be great.
11
SPEAKER_05
And again, thank you so much, James.
11
SPEAKER_05
This is phenomenal.
11
SPEAKER_05
It s an absolute privilege.
11
SPEAKER_05
Cheers, man.
11
SPEAKER_05
If you love this episode, you ll love my interview with Will Smith on owning your truth and unlocking the power of manifestation.
11
SPEAKER_03
Anybody who hasn t spoken to their parents or their brother, call them right now.
11
SPEAKER_03
Don t think you re going to have a chance to call them tomorrow or next week.
11
SPEAKER_03
That opportunity with my father changed every relationship in my life.
11
SPEAKER_00
Parents, if you ve ever experienced bedtime battles with the kids, I m gonna let you into a little secret.
11
SPEAKER_00
The Koala Moon podcast has revolutionized over 20 million bedtimes, with parents like you calling it life-changing and the perfect nighttime routine.
11
SPEAKER_00
With original kids  bedtime stories and cozy sleep meditations, every episode has been specially designed to make bedtimes a dream.
11
SPEAKER_00
Listen to Koala Moon on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
11
SPEAKER_02
Guess what, Will?
11
SPEAKER_02
What s that, Mango?
11
SPEAKER_02
I ve been trying to write a promo for our podcast, Part-Time Genius, but even though we ve done over 250 episodes, we don t really talk about murders or cults.
11
SPEAKER_02
I mean, we did just cover the Illuminati of cheese, so I feel like that makes us pretty edgy.
11
SPEAKER_02
We also solve mysteries like how Chinese is your Chinese food and how do dollar stores make money?
11
SPEAKER_02
And then, of course, can you game a dog show?
11
SPEAKER_02
So what you re saying is everyone should be listening.
11
SPEAKER_02
Listen to Part-Time Genius on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
11
SPEAKER_01
Imagine you asked two people the same seven questions.
11
SPEAKER_01
I m Minnie Driver, and this was the idea I set out to explore in my podcast, Minnie Questions.
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This year, we bring a whole new group of guests to answer the same seven questions, including Courtney Cox, Rob Delaney, Liz Phair, and many, many more.
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Join me on season three of Minnie Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts.
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Seven questions, limitless answers.