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Get emotional with me, Radhi Devlukia, in my new podcast, A Really Good Cry.
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We re going to be talking with some of my best friends.
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I didn t know we were going to go there.
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people that I admire.
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When we say listen to your body, really tune in to what s going on.
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Authors of books that have changed my life.
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Now you re talking about sympathy, which is different than empathy.
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Never forget, it s okay to cry, as long as you make it a really good one.
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Listen to A Really Good Cry with Radhi Devlukia on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine, hosted by me, Danielle Robay.
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And me, Simone Boyce.
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Every weekday, we re bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.
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I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side.
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You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice that they want to share.
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Listen to The Bright Side on America s number one podcast network, iHeart.
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Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side.
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Something that makes me crazy is when people say, well, I had this career before, but it was a waste.
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And that s where the perspective shift comes, that it s not a waste, that everything you ve done has built you to where you are now.
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This is She Pivots, the podcast where we explore the inspiring pivots women have made and dig deeper into the personal reasons behind them.
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Join me, Emily Tish Sussman, every Wednesday on She Pivots.
0
SPEAKER_07
Listen to She Pivots on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
0
SPEAKER_05
I walked in and I had a hard drive filled with all of my music.
0
SPEAKER_05
He like took it, he listened to it, he threw my hard drive out the window, broke into a million pieces, not good enough, start again.
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SPEAKER_05
Musician, producer, the body of work that this guy has produced or written.
0
SPEAKER_07
Your list goes on and on and on.
0
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Benny Blanco.
0
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If you wanna try to be like a musician, an entrepreneur, it s f***ing scary.
0
SPEAKER_05
If you re gonna fail, who f***ing cares?
0
SPEAKER_05
The second I fail, I m like, the next day I wake up, I m like, all right, let s do it again.
0
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Hey everyone, I ve got some huge news to share with you.
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In the last 90 days, 79.4% of our audience came from viewers and listeners that are not subscribed to this channel.
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There s research that shows that if you want to create a habit, make it easy to access.
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By hitting the subscribe button, you re creating a habit of learning how to be happier, healthier, and more healed.
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This would also mean the absolute world to me and help us make better, bigger, brighter content for you and the world.
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Subscribe right now.
0
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Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world.
0
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Thanks to each and every one of you who come back every week to become happier, healthier, and more healed.
0
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You know that I love diving into the minds of people I find fascinating, to dive into how people are creative, how people become conscious, and how people create things that the world gets excited about.
0
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I think I ve always been a student of life and a student of people s journeys.
0
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and here we get to go back in time and find out what those key moments were in people s lives.
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Today s guest is someone that I ve been dying to have on the show.
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I m so excited that he s here in the studio.
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I ve been feeling his energy and vibe already.
0
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I m excited to share it with you all.
0
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I m speaking about the one and only Benny Blanco, record producer, songwriter, artist, actor, record executive, and cookbook author, I ll have you know.
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I ll tell you about that in a second.
0
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Benny has contributed to the sale of hundreds of millions of albums worldwide through his work with some of your favorite artists including Ed Sheeran, SZA, Justin Bieber, Rihanna, Katy Perry, The Weeknd, Maroon 5, Juice WRLD, Sia and many more.
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As a solo artist Benny has released two albums from
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Friends Keep Secrets and Friends Keep Secrets 2 that have been streamed more than 11 billion times today and have featured multiple platinum hits.
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Benny made his TV debut playing a fictionalized version of himself on the FFX series, Dave with Little Dicky.
0
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If you haven t seen it, that episode is brilliant.
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Benny s most recent project is his first cookbook, Open Wide.
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You can get it right now.
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We ll be diving into that as well.
0
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Welcome to the show, Benny Blanco.
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Wow, that was so cool.
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I want you to walk around with me all the time and say this.
0
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I get why you re the number one podcast for health.
0
SPEAKER_05
When you were talking, my jaw was dropped.
0
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I was just mesmerized by everything you were saying.
0
SPEAKER_04
Benny, I want to do the introduction now.
0
SPEAKER_04
Every time you go on stage, every time you re there, it has to be, you know.
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SPEAKER_05
I know, I got to come up with one for you.
0
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I d be like,
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perfect skin, beautiful eyes, wavy hair.
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You re talking about yourself.
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SPEAKER_05
No, I m talking about you, baby.
0
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Yeah, same thing.
0
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We both got curly hair.
0
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We re interchangeable.
0
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We got curly hair, we got colored eyes, you got good skin.
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Okay.
0
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I love it.
0
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Benny, it s such a joy to have you here.
0
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And I m excited to dive into everything that I was just talking about.
0
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But when I m sitting with someone like you, who, you know, creativity is at your fingertips, it s kind of embedded into your whole life, I m always intrigued.
0
SPEAKER_04
What s your earliest childhood memory of being creative?
0
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Like, do you remember the first thing you put together?
0
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You were just telling me you even had this shirt made that you re wearing today.
0
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Like, what was one of the first things you remember saying, Oh, wow, I did some as a kid.
0
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Okay, here s what I really remember.
0
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Yeah.
0
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So I, you know, I didn t have the luxury of having like,
0
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insane musical instruments at my fingertips, and recording studios, and I was from the middle of nowhere.
0
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So my brother had a boombox, an old school boombox, and I had a smaller old school boombox.
0
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And I remember my earliest memories, I m probably like five or six, and I remember realizing that
0
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music.
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You know, when I first heard music, I always thought that the, like the, the musician was at the radio station singing the song.
0
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And I was like, how do they keep coming back to the station?
0
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I didn t even understand how music was created, but
0
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Somewhere very early I figured out that it was like a multi track situation and I would take, I had a boom box and I would record like me, like hitting like this into the boom box.
0
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Okay.
0
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Then I would press play on that one and then I would do the next thing on the other boom box.
0
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and record into that one.
0
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And I would keep going back and forth until I created a track.
0
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I guess I was creating my own eight track and multi-track of layering things.
0
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And I didn t even know what it was, but I was just so excited that I was doing it.
0
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And my whole career has been a version of that.
0
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I have no training.
0
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I m not good at anything.
0
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I know people are like, oh, you re being humble.
0
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I m really not great at anything.
0
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I have like a ultimate will to get things done.
0
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Like I m like, this will happen.
0
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Um, but no, it s just, I m always trial and error.
0
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And I always tell people, people are always just like, well, how did you do this?
0
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How did you?
0
SPEAKER_05
And I m like, honestly, like just going in and I, I, I call it making a mess.
0
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I like to go in and throw a bunch of shit around the room, throw pain at everything.
0
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And then we worry about cleaning it up later.
0
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But maybe a few of those things just happen to land correctly.
0
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And I just keep doing that until everything fully lands where I want it to.
0
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And I m just playing clean up around the sides.
0
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That s a beautiful way of describing the process.
0
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But what gave you that?
0
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Where does that will or that confidence come from?
0
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Because I think a lot of people are scared of creating a mess or scared of things not sticking, so they never try.
0
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Whereas it sounds like you re the opposite, where you re like, well, I don t care if it doesn t try.
0
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I m willing to give it a go.
0
SPEAKER_04
Where does that inner confidence, that inner ability to say, hey, it s OK, come from?
0
SPEAKER_05
I don t care about failure at all.
0
SPEAKER_05
I don t care.
0
SPEAKER_05
And I never did.
0
SPEAKER_05
I think when I was younger, I didn t understand what failure was.
0
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Like when you re, you know, when you re six, when you re seven, when you re 12, you don t, there s not many people to let down.
0
SPEAKER_05
You know what I mean?
0
SPEAKER_05
You let down Timmy at school.
0
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He s your friend.
0
SPEAKER_05
Sorry, Timmy.
0
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But, but you,
0
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You re not thinking about that.
0
SPEAKER_05
And I always, I just remember from the beginning, like my mom was like, I wanted to drop out of school.
0
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And, you know, my mom was raising me alone and it was, I was probably 15, 16 at the time.
0
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And I was like, mom, I know what I want to do.
0
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She was like, what do you want to do?
0
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I m like the music stuff.
0
SPEAKER_05
Like I m,
0
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so into it, and I know, and I looked her in the eye, I go, I know I m gonna be the biggest in the world.
0
SPEAKER_05
And she was just like, what are you, you know, and I ve asked her, I ve asked my mom, like, later in life, like, how did you, like, trust me in my journey?
0
SPEAKER_05
And she always said that she had dreams that she never got to try in her life.
0
SPEAKER_05
And a lot of people are just way too scared to take the jump.
0
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You know, a lot of people may have, I m sure everyone in this room, anyone listening has a little something where they re like,
0
SPEAKER_05
Really like that, but they re scared.
0
SPEAKER_05
They re scared.
0
SPEAKER_05
They re like, you know, I would you know, I want to post videos of me
1
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be cooking online.
1
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no, no one will like it.
1
SPEAKER_00
My friends will make fun of me.
1
SPEAKER_00
I sing in the shower.
1
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no, no, no.
1
SPEAKER_00
Because we re taught to just follow suit and do whatever you re supposed to do.
1
SPEAKER_00
You report to your boss.
1
SPEAKER_00
But it doesn t have to be like that.
1
SPEAKER_00
If you want to try to be a musician, an entrepreneur, whatever, it s scary.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I m sure you ve had moments like that where you re like, yo, what am I doing?
1
SPEAKER_00
But if you do try, I believe that if you keep pushing yourself and you keep trying, you re gonna succeed.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I always tell people this, it may not be in what you start with.
1
SPEAKER_00
When I started, I thought I was going to be the biggest rap artist in the world.
1
SPEAKER_00
Am I a rapper now?
1
SPEAKER_00
No.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then I moved into producing.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then I moved into songwriting.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then it s come full circle now where I m like an artist of some sorts again.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I think you just jump in and just try something.
1
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Just try.
1
SPEAKER_00
And who cares?
1
SPEAKER_00
If you re gonna fail, who cares if you fail?
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t understand.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s the thing I don t understand.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s just, you just get up,
1
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And you do it again.
1
SPEAKER_00
I have amnesia the second I film.
1
SPEAKER_00
The second I film, I m like, the next day I wake up, I m like, all right, let s do it again.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know?
1
SPEAKER_01
That s an amazing mindset.
1
SPEAKER_01
So we share something in common already.
1
SPEAKER_01
We both grew up wanting to be famous rappers.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Did you?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
That was like my passion, like poetry, spoken word, writing lyrics.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like all I listened to was hip hop and rap growing up.
1
SPEAKER_01
If you asked me at 16 years old what I wanted to be, that s what I wanted to be.
1
SPEAKER_01
And it s so interesting because today I feel I use the same skills that I wanted to use then, but in a completely different way.
1
SPEAKER_01
I still write.
1
SPEAKER_01
I write books instead of records.
1
SPEAKER_01
I teach meditation, which includes music, it includes cadence, it includes rhyme often, but not in the way that a rapper would.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I m using spoken word constantly to get messages out into the world, but in a different way.
1
SPEAKER_01
And so I love what you just said about that idea of how you actually may succeed, but in a way completely different to what you originally dreamed of.
1
SPEAKER_00
I hope it goes full circle for you.
1
SPEAKER_00
I want to hear, I need to hear the Jay Shady rap tape.
1
SPEAKER_00
What was your rap name?
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh God, I don t know if I need to go that far.
1
SPEAKER_01
It was embarrassing, but I ll tell you later.
1
SPEAKER_00
I ll tell you privately.
1
SPEAKER_00
Is Jay Shetty your real name?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s the perfect rap name.
1
SPEAKER_00
Jay Shetty sounds like a fire rapper.
1
SPEAKER_00
Really?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, from like East London.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay, I m from North London, so not far.
1
SPEAKER_01
All right.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, not far.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay, cool.
1
SPEAKER_01
I like it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I like it, but no, I really appreciate what you re saying there.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I think that amnesia to failure.
1
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like that, that s, I love that idea of having amnesia with failure.
1
SPEAKER_01
Can you give me a time?
1
SPEAKER_01
Was that always the case or was there a failure that like did kind of pierce that veil?
1
SPEAKER_01
It never has.
1
SPEAKER_01
I can see from your face.
1
SPEAKER_00
No, I remember when,
1
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I was going to quit music one time.
1
SPEAKER_00
Right before I made it, my mentor passed away.
1
SPEAKER_00
He took his own life.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I was really young.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was one of my best friends.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I m probably 18.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I remember sitting in my bed.
1
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And I was crying.
1
SPEAKER_00
I didn t understand.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was one of the first times that somebody who wasn t supposed to die, died.
1
SPEAKER_00
I ve lost my grandmother and lost my grandfather, but it was the first time in my life where someone that I really knew and really touched me and I talked to them the day before they died.
1
SPEAKER_00
I remember that hitting me so hard in a way that I didn t know was even possible.
1
SPEAKER_00
I d been sad, but I remember sitting there in bed and I was just like, I m just gonna quit.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was like, I gotta quit making music.
1
SPEAKER_00
In that very same moment, my head flipped and I was just like, no, you can t, you gotta take on what this dude started.
1
SPEAKER_00
Cuz he didn t, he was also a musician and he didn t get totally, he was well known and he was a hero to me, but he didn t get where I think he deserved to.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I remember being like, I gotta do this, I got it, he would want me to be doing this.
1
SPEAKER_00
That was like the only time, it wasn t even failure, it was like the only time where I really questioned things.
1
SPEAKER_00
And, but, don t get me wrong, every time I do something good in life, I m questioning.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s not, but it s like a different feeling.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if you have this, but I ll have a number one song, like a number one song, it s the biggest song in the whole world.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I ll look in the mirror, and I ll be like, oh, that s the last one.
1
SPEAKER_00
Definitely not going to have another number one song again.
1
SPEAKER_00
Not saying I m scared of the failure.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m just like, oh, that s just the last one.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s what I did.
1
SPEAKER_00
Or something really good will happen in my life.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, oh, I ll never recreate that again.
1
SPEAKER_00
But in the same breath, I m like, let s go.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m like, let s keep rolling.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I ve tried to do this thing lately, in the last five or ten years, where I really take in my achievements.
1
SPEAKER_00
Because for a while, I never thought of them.
1
SPEAKER_00
I would just keep going.
1
SPEAKER_00
When it was time...
1
SPEAKER_00
They d be like, oh, your song s number one.
1
SPEAKER_00
I d be like, okay, that s cool.
1
SPEAKER_00
What are we doing next week?
1
SPEAKER_00
And I figured out it s okay to do that.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s okay to take a breath and be like, yo, we just did this shit.
1
SPEAKER_00
This is tight.
1
SPEAKER_00
We did this.
1
SPEAKER_00
This is great.
1
SPEAKER_00
And yeah, I m trying to do that more.
1
SPEAKER_00
Failure, like, no, I ve never had one of those times because whenever I do fail, I ll sit and I ll obviously like, I ll sit there and I ll be like, this didn t work out how I wanted it to.
1
SPEAKER_00
But so many times have been the opposite, where I was like, this will never work.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then it s big.
1
SPEAKER_00
So it s like, I feel like it always evens out.
1
SPEAKER_00
And you only have one other choice.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s like, the only choice is just to keep going.
1
SPEAKER_00
What are you supposed to do?
1
SPEAKER_00
Just be like, oh, it didn t work.
1
SPEAKER_00
No, get up and you do it again.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I ve got so many questions.
1
SPEAKER_01
I want to dive into so much that you said.
1
SPEAKER_01
So, rewinding with your mentor, how did you first, and I m so sorry to hear, thank you for sharing with us, you know, such a challenging event.
1
SPEAKER_01
And, uh, I lost my mentor four years ago.
1
SPEAKER_01
He passed away from stage four brain cancer during the pandemic.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I couldn t go back to see him because I couldn t take a flight.
1
SPEAKER_01
And so I couldn t, couldn t be at his funeral.
1
SPEAKER_01
So, you know, that was super rough for me.
1
SPEAKER_01
It was more recent, but,
1
SPEAKER_01
how did you meet your mentor and how did you form a bond?
1
SPEAKER_01
I think a lot of successful people have mentors, they have guides, they have teachers, they have coaches, but then sometimes when you re listening to a conversation, you re like this, you re like, I want someone to be my mentor, but I don t know where to start and how to find them.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like, what does that mean?
1
SPEAKER_01
Like, how did you connect?
1
SPEAKER_00
I had, I ve had so many mentors.
1
SPEAKER_00
I have mentors every day.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m a mentor to people, but sometimes my mentees are my mentor.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like I m always,
1
SPEAKER_00
You always got to be open to just listening and learning.
1
SPEAKER_00
Every day I learned something.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was in the studio yesterday with a guy who was one of my mentees.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like the way I met, I got to tell you that story later.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s insane.
1
SPEAKER_00
I ll go to that.
1
SPEAKER_00
I ll tell that after.
1
SPEAKER_00
First one is I met my mentor.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was, this is when he was like my second or third mentor.
1
SPEAKER_00
I met a lot of really important mentors in my life when I was about 13.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was a musician, I was traveling for music at the time.
1
SPEAKER_00
I had gotten some buzz and Myspace was a thing.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I had somehow created a profile where I had a bunch of followers, okay?
1
SPEAKER_00
So I don t even remember how I did it, but I was a kid, I used to do it in the library at school.
1
SPEAKER_00
And there was this guy, he was a producer, I was obsessed with him.
1
SPEAKER_00
I DM, well, messaged him, the equivalent of DM today.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I remember messaging him and I was like, I love your stuff, blah, blah, blah, blah.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then no response.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, oh, I love you, please, blah, blah, blah.
1
SPEAKER_00
No response.
1
SPEAKER_00
Then I saw a few weeks later, he was advertising.
1
SPEAKER_00
He was like, I have studio time available.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s like $500 or something.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I remember just being like, OK, the only way I m going to meet this guy
1
SPEAKER_00
is if I get the studio time.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I say, I m interested in the studio time, he says, great, come to New York and meet me here.
1
SPEAKER_00
He had no idea where I was, I drove to New York.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I drove, we drove like four hours to New York, I get to New York, I get in with him.
1
SPEAKER_00
The first thing I say is I m like,
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t really need studio time.
1
SPEAKER_00
I just want to talk to you.
1
SPEAKER_00
Please.
1
SPEAKER_00
I ll do anything.
1
SPEAKER_00
I just want to work with you.
1
SPEAKER_00
I ll do whatever you say.
1
SPEAKER_00
But then he was just like, this was insane.
1
SPEAKER_00
He said, I m leaving this weekend.
1
SPEAKER_00
I need my studio booked the whole weekend.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s $850 for the, for the two days.
1
SPEAKER_00
You need to book it.
1
SPEAKER_00
If you can book it, I ll let you work for me.
1
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
1
SPEAKER_00
I called every single person I know.
1
SPEAKER_00
I spent every, you know, I had like a few hundred bucks.
1
SPEAKER_00
Then like, I would like beg my friends for money.
1
SPEAKER_00
I had to like a few new, a few rappers at the time that wanted studio time.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I like figured it out.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he was just like, he got back.
1
SPEAKER_00
I did it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like I just did it in the nick of time.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he was just like, all right, you can work.
1
SPEAKER_00
You start next week.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I would, I would drive up every weekend from Virginia to work with him when I, from when I was like,
2
SPEAKER_01
16, 17, and we created this bond and it was like he was tough on me.
2
SPEAKER_01
He was not an easy guy.
2
SPEAKER_01
I remember I walked in and I had a hard drive filled with all of my music, everything I had been making.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he like took it, he listened to it, he ejected it, and then he threw it out the window.
2
SPEAKER_01
He threw my hard drive out the window, broke into a million pieces, no more hard drive.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he was like, not good enough, start again.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it was like, yeah, he was like super sensei.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was like karate kid.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I like hated him in the moments for it.
2
SPEAKER_01
But so many, he taught me so many things that like I learned and taught me things not to do as a mentor.
2
SPEAKER_01
And like, and
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, it was a really special time.
2
SPEAKER_01
And now I just want to jump to this.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, please.
2
SPEAKER_00
I love it.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I m, you know, this is, I don t know, almost 10 years ago now, maybe eight years ago.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I m playing poker at a friend s house.
2
SPEAKER_01
And my friend puts me on her story, her Instagram story.
2
SPEAKER_01
And the next day she comes to me and she said, Hey, my friend s son saw you on my story.
2
SPEAKER_01
And apparently you re like a big deal in music.
2
SPEAKER_01
And she was just like,
2
SPEAKER_01
You have to have him come work for you. 
2
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, what?
2
SPEAKER_01
And she was like, yeah, you have to have him come work for you.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was like, I don t need anyone else.
2
SPEAKER_01
I already have assistants, interns.
2
SPEAKER_01
And they were like, no, you have to.
2
SPEAKER_01
And this lady is like a very, there isn t really, you don t get to have a choice.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I was like, all right, I ll meet him.
2
SPEAKER_01
So this kid comes in.
2
SPEAKER_01
He s 15 years old.
2
SPEAKER_01
He s like, oh,
2
SPEAKER_01
Like everything like he s just so excited and He like was so sweet and he reminded of me of me when I was a kid He was like, I ll do anything.
2
SPEAKER_01
I ll work for you.
2
SPEAKER_01
Bye.
2
SPEAKER_01
Bye.
2
SPEAKER_01
Bye.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was like, alright come work for me He comes and works for me.
2
SPEAKER_01
I
2
SPEAKER_01
still like spending a lot of time in New York at the time.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so I don t see him.
2
SPEAKER_01
He s just like building a studio for me and has never even met me besides that one day.
2
SPEAKER_01
But he like, he does it for like a year.
2
SPEAKER_01
Then like, I finally come back to LA and I, I m like, all right, you ready to come into some recording studios?
2
SPEAKER_01
And he was like, he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m so excited.
2
SPEAKER_01
So like, you know, first week, first three sessions,
2
SPEAKER_01
His first session is The Weeknd, his second session is Travis Scott, and like his third session was like Maroon 5.
2
SPEAKER_01
So it s like, he s getting thrown into it.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I remember we re at the first session, and I m just like, be cool, blah blah blah.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s The Weeknd, and The Weeknd s in there, and we re like all in a room, and we re just like,
2
SPEAKER_01
singing into microphones, like we re chilling.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he s like, I know his mind s blown.
2
SPEAKER_01
Weekend s his favorite artist at the time.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I remember he, when no one s looking, he like sneaks a picture and he accidentally has his flash on.
2
SPEAKER_01
So it goes, and it has the noise too.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so it was like, and when it did it, he went, ah, and he threw his phone and somehow
2
SPEAKER_01
The weekend didn t notice, and I pulled him aside after, and I m like, dude, you can t do that.
2
SPEAKER_01
Fast forward, he s in high school, and I say, hey, I was in the middle of making Ed Sheeran s Divide album, and I was producing the whole thing, and I was like,
2
SPEAKER_01
I need some help on the road.
2
SPEAKER_01
If I talk to your school and get you off, will you come?
2
SPEAKER_01
And he was like, yeah, of course.
2
SPEAKER_01
Took him on the road for like two weeks.
2
SPEAKER_01
Mind was blown.
2
SPEAKER_01
Then, you know, he starts going to NYU School of, Clive Davis School of Music.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he, I have another opportunity.
2
SPEAKER_01
I talked to his teachers.
2
SPEAKER_01
I take him on the road for like a month.
2
SPEAKER_01
We re on tour with Halsey.
2
SPEAKER_01
then he s coming back to work for me now.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
We ve never talked about him making music at all.
2
SPEAKER_01
And we re sitting there one day, it s late at night.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he said, my therapist said, he s going to stop working with me.
2
SPEAKER_01
If I don t play you my music.
2
SPEAKER_01
I said, what do you mean you make music?
2
SPEAKER_01
And he s like, yeah, yeah, I make music.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was like, why didn t you ever play for me?
2
SPEAKER_01
He s like, I was so scared.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was trying to get better.
2
SPEAKER_01
He
2
SPEAKER_01
plays me some songs, they re terrible.
2
SPEAKER_01
They re awful.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I can hear something in him, and I know he s so, in music, so much of it is getting an artist to feel comfortable, getting them to believe, getting them to, so much of it is your personality, and he had that.
2
SPEAKER_01
He had the it factor.
2
SPEAKER_01
I saw when he was with artists, he knew how to talk to them, he knew how to make them feel good, just like getting them food, everything.
2
SPEAKER_01
He spent years just seeing how I did it with artists.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I decided to sign him.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was like, I m going to sign you.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he went on this journey.
2
SPEAKER_01
And now he s one of the biggest music producers in the world.
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, last year, he won best record at the Grammys.
2
SPEAKER_01
He s had like five or 10 number one
2
SPEAKER_01
And it s like this guy started, he was so humble.
2
SPEAKER_01
He was 15 years old.
2
SPEAKER_01
Now he s like probably 26, 27.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he did, he just went on the journey.
2
SPEAKER_01
He knew when his time was and he went in and he did it.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it was just like, I always tell people, you know, you just got to stick through it.
2
SPEAKER_01
You got to stick around, you know?
2
SPEAKER_01
And when I first signed him, it wasn t working for him.
2
SPEAKER_01
It took him like a few years for it really to like connect.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he s just like, it s such a fun story for me.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s a brilliant story.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I ve been fortunate enough to have that a few different times in my life with people.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it was so cool because I had that experience.
2
SPEAKER_01
And we re all, to pay it forward is just.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
The intern applications to the Benny Blanco School of Music just went through the roof.
2
SPEAKER_00
Now, the amount of reads going to get hit up this whole week.
2
SPEAKER_00
Dude, I love that.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, it s beautiful to hear that.
2
SPEAKER_00
Also, what I love about that message is when your mentor throws your hard drive outside the window, it s so easy to be like, I m never going back.
2
SPEAKER_00
He s crazy.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m never going back.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s like whiplash.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
That was my life.
2
SPEAKER_01
That was my, I was cleaning toilets with a toothbrush.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like that was my real life.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s what I was thinking of when you were describing it.
2
SPEAKER_00
I felt exactly like that.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m thinking, you know, it s, but how do you show up again and recognize this value?
2
SPEAKER_00
Because I think now we re in a place as well where it s like, if something like that happened, we d be like, Oh no, get out of there.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s the, you know, I know it did change a little bit.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like,
2
SPEAKER_00
You wouldn t do that, that s what I mean.
2
SPEAKER_00
You wouldn t throw someone s hard drive.
2
SPEAKER_01
No, I would never do those type of things.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m not, I m just like not that type of person.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m not like a yelling person.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m not like a, it s just like not, that s not my way of communication.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like if I was like sad about something, I d be like, man.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think it s probably almost worse.
2
SPEAKER_01
I d be like, ah, why did you do that?
2
SPEAKER_00
I go quiet.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Or I d be like, if you re ever in an argument in a relationship, I m not a yeller.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m like, oh, man.
2
SPEAKER_01
I wish it was different.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I can t even find the words, usually, at the beginning.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I think that s how I am.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I think I really learned that you don t have to do that stuff.
2
SPEAKER_01
It worked for me.
2
SPEAKER_01
It got me to where I am.
2
SPEAKER_01
But it s like, you can
2
SPEAKER_01
You can be really positive.
2
SPEAKER_01
You can be a good influence on someone.
2
SPEAKER_01
You can be hard on someone.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was definitely hard on the guy I was talking about, Blake.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was tough on him.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I was never like, I would never be mean.
2
SPEAKER_01
There s no reason to do that.
2
SPEAKER_01
And what made me keep going back?
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_01
Sheer just will and drive.
2
SPEAKER_01
was like, what they re trying, that s what they re trying to do.
2
SPEAKER_01
They want me, they want me to quit.
2
SPEAKER_01
They want me to, you know, and like, I don t know, I always.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know why I do it.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I wonder, sometimes I sit in bed and I m like, why am I still working so hard?
2
SPEAKER_01
I still work like I ve never done a thing in my life.
2
SPEAKER_01
I still wake up every morning, I m like, all right, I m gonna do this, then I m gonna do this, and then I swear I m gonna get this thing.
2
SPEAKER_01
And that s why I try to do different things that I m not necessarily great at.
2
SPEAKER_01
Not that I m not great at, but that I don t have
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, in music, I can go in, I can work with anyone, I can do this.
2
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, making a cookbook, being in a TV show, I ve never done these things.
2
SPEAKER_01
So it s very interesting to me to start at the bottom again and just try to work my way up.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s fun.
2
SPEAKER_01
I love the climb.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s my favorite part about life.
2
SPEAKER_01
Even everything.
2
SPEAKER_01
In a relationship, when you meet that person at the very beginning, it s like, oh, I gotta
2
SPEAKER_01
make my way into their heart and they have to make their way into mine.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it s just all about, I don t know, getting there is always the best.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then when you re there, I m just like, all right, what else can I, I want to get, I want to get some, you know what I mean?
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, so when you re like, you know, you do the music stuff and you get there and you re like, I think the only thing where you get there and it just keeps getting better is in a relationship with someone.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think that s like the only time you get there and you re like, okay,
2
SPEAKER_01
This is cool.
3
SPEAKER_04
And every other time, I m just like, okay, cool.
3
SPEAKER_04
Like, let s go.
3
SPEAKER_01
Get emotional with me, Radhi Devlukia, in my new podcast, A Really Good Cry.
3
SPEAKER_01
We re going to talk about and go through all the things that are sometimes difficult to process alone.
3
SPEAKER_01
We re going to go over how to regulate your emotions, diving deep into holistic personal development, and just building your mindset to have a happier, healthier life.
3
SPEAKER_01
We re going to be talking with some of my best friends.
3
SPEAKER_01
I didn t know we were going to go there.
3
SPEAKER_01
people that I admire.
3
SPEAKER_01
When we say listen to your body, really tune in to what s going on.
3
SPEAKER_01
Authors of books that have changed my life.
3
SPEAKER_01
Now you re talking about sympathy, which is different than empathy.
3
SPEAKER_01
And basically have conversations that can help us get through this crazy thing we call life.
3
SPEAKER_01
I already believe in myself.
3
SPEAKER_01
I already see myself.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so when people give me an opportunity, I m just like,
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh great, you see me too!
3
SPEAKER_01
We ll laugh together, we ll cry together, and find a way through all of our emotions.
3
SPEAKER_01
Never forget, it s okay to cry, as long as you make it a really good one.
3
SPEAKER_01
Listen to A Really Good Cry with Radhi Devlukia on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
3
SPEAKER_00
Something that makes me crazy is when people say, well, I had this career before, but it was a waste.
3
SPEAKER_00
And that s where the perspective shift comes.
3
SPEAKER_00
That it s not a waste, that everything you ve done has built you to where you are now.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is She Pivots.
3
SPEAKER_00
the podcast where we explore the inspiring pivots women have made and dig deeper into the personal reasons behind them.
3
SPEAKER_00
Join me, Emily Tish Sussman, every Wednesday on She Pivots, as I sit down with inspiring women like Misty Copeland, Brooke Shields, Vanessa Hudgens, and so many more.
3
SPEAKER_00
We dive into how these women made their pivot and their mindset shifts that happened as a result.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s a podcast about women, their stories, and how their pivot became their success.
3
SPEAKER_00
Listen to She Pivots on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
3
SPEAKER_03
When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it s powerful.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s where The Bright Side comes in.
3
SPEAKER_02
A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that s bringing you a daily dose of joy.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m Danielle Robay.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I m Simone Boyce.
3
SPEAKER_03
Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters.
3
SPEAKER_03
We ve covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy, but The Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new and get into some friendly debates.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s right.
3
SPEAKER_02
Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side.
3
SPEAKER_03
We ll hear from celebrities, authors, experts and listeners like you, whether it s relationships, friend advice or figuring out how to navigate life s transitions.
3
SPEAKER_03
We ll talk through it all together.
3
SPEAKER_02
Listen to the bright side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
3
SPEAKER_05
What do you think makes relationships different that makes you feel that way as opposed to music?
3
SPEAKER_05
Or anything else, any other achievement, not music?
3
SPEAKER_04
Well, I ve never been in a relationship the way that I ve been in one with music, because it s been like a 30-year relationship.
3
SPEAKER_04
So I have no idea what happens 30 years from now in a relationship.
3
SPEAKER_04
I just feel like in a row, a relationship is like all these other things I m doing.
3
SPEAKER_04
There s so many like tentacles, like it s like you go this way and then you guys explore that together and you re exploring so many.
3
SPEAKER_04
It s basically anything I would explore in my life.
3
SPEAKER_04
I m exploring with a partner and so it s like figuring out.
3
SPEAKER_04
like you guys are like figuring out things together and it s so cool when you have like a partner that like I don t know like I just get the feeling like it s it s awesome when you can have a partner that you look at and you re and it s like the end of the day and you re like oh what did you do today and they tell you and you re like
3
SPEAKER_04
That s so tight.
3
SPEAKER_04
And you re like, I want to do more.
3
SPEAKER_04
Like when you can feed off of each other and just keep growing together, it s like every day is a new experience.
3
SPEAKER_04
And you guys are like facing different things together.
3
SPEAKER_04
And it s, I don t know, it s cool.
3
SPEAKER_04
And I always tell my friend, I was just talking to my friend yesterday about this.
3
SPEAKER_04
I was like, you always have to keep your work and life balance.
3
SPEAKER_04
And I was like, because you can feel it in the music and art if you don t have love or you don t have something.
3
SPEAKER_04
So I always tell them, I always feel that it s just like this.
3
SPEAKER_04
I have like rules, like every day, like I only work till like a certain time.
3
SPEAKER_04
I make sure I, you know, like cooking is very important to me and therapeutic.
3
SPEAKER_04
So I make sure I do that.
3
SPEAKER_04
Like it s like Xanax to me.
3
SPEAKER_04
And I have all my things that I have to do to make that bound because I do push myself.
3
SPEAKER_04
I shove my head through that wall, just that dry wall if I had to.
3
SPEAKER_04
At the same time, I try to do all the things that s like, okay, like every, you know, it s like every Sunday I see my mom, no matter what, every single Sunday at the exact same time.
3
SPEAKER_04
It doesn t matter if I like stay up all night, I ll just go right into seeing her.
3
SPEAKER_04
And it s just like, we have like a ritual we do.
3
SPEAKER_04
And then I have like my ritual where I go and get my groceries at the farmer s market every weekend.
3
SPEAKER_04
And there s just all these things that help keep you on track and grounded so you can keep doing what you re doing, you know?
3
SPEAKER_04
I mean, I m sure you have things like that for yourself.
3
SPEAKER_05
Absolutely.
3
SPEAKER_05
I mean, mine s similar.
3
SPEAKER_05
I call my mom at the same time every week because she s back in London where I was born and raised.
3
SPEAKER_05
And so I have the same time I call her on the weekend.
3
SPEAKER_05
And yeah, there s certain things that have to be done that way.
3
SPEAKER_05
And same with you.
3
SPEAKER_05
You know, I have a certain time as well that I switch off from work and I m not looking at my phone.
3
SPEAKER_05
I have a time in the morning of like three hours of being awake before I m doing any work.
3
SPEAKER_05
I have to take that time for myself.
3
SPEAKER_05
But what s interesting about what you re saying is that there s a myth, obviously, that the broken hearted artist
3
SPEAKER_05
can pour into the music, but you re actually saying that if you have love in your life, that can also be felt through music.
3
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, I think that at times it s good to have a broken heart, but it s also good, you know, there s a time and place for everything.
3
SPEAKER_04
What time you wake up?
3
SPEAKER_05
I wake up now at 5.30am.
3
SPEAKER_04
What time did you wake up before?
3
SPEAKER_05
Usually it was like, I was, this year has been different.
3
SPEAKER_05
This year I ve been really prioritizing 5.30, but up until last year, it s probably like 6 to 6.30.
3
SPEAKER_04
And what time do you go to bed?
3
SPEAKER_05
I go to bed at like 9 p.m.
3
SPEAKER_05
now.
3
SPEAKER_04
Really?
3
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, I love my eight hours of sleep.
3
SPEAKER_05
So if I get into bed at nine, I ll be out by 9.15.
3
SPEAKER_05
And then if I wake up at 5.30, I ve had like eight hours and 15 minutes of sleep.
3
SPEAKER_04
What are you doing in those first three hours?
3
SPEAKER_05
Meditating for a lot of it.
3
SPEAKER_05
So I ll wake up at 5.30, I ll be ready to sit down for meditation by like 5.45.
3
SPEAKER_05
I ll meditate for an hour and a half and then 7.15 I ll go for a hike or go to the gym or yeah, usually a hike or the gym from 7.15 till about 8.15, 8.30, get ready and then 9am I ll take my first emails, meetings, all that kind of stuff.
3
SPEAKER_05
So I think you came at 10 today.
3
SPEAKER_05
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_04
Hour and a half is, that s a good meditation.
3
SPEAKER_04
Hour and a half, how do you even stay focused?
3
SPEAKER_05
Well, I think it s a good question.
3
SPEAKER_05
And I always say to people that when I started, it wasn t one and a half hours.
3
SPEAKER_05
Like you start up with doing like seven minutes, 20 minutes, 40 minutes.
3
SPEAKER_05
And what I found was just in the same way as if you go to a trainer,
3
SPEAKER_05
at the gym, you d hope that they work out more than you.
3
SPEAKER_05
So as someone who teaches meditation and helps people with mindfulness, I believe that as a trainer and as a coach, I have to do it for more time and deeper time because otherwise, if I m only doing it for seven minutes and I m mentoring you and you re only doing it for seven minutes, then how will I ever have an experience to guide you deeper?
3
SPEAKER_05
And so I ve been doing that since I was 18 now, so it s been a long time.
3
SPEAKER_05
And when I was a monk for three years, it was longer, and that s where I got that deepest experience of practice for it.
3
SPEAKER_05
So I feel like if I didn t have those three years of going really deep into the practice, I may not have the focus I have today.
3
SPEAKER_05
You were a monk?
3
SPEAKER_05
For three years, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_04
Like a real monk?
3
SPEAKER_04
A real monk, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_04
That s insane.
3
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_04
I ve never met a monk.
3
SPEAKER_04
I d love to show you pictures.
3
SPEAKER_04
I ve never even met a monk.
3
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, I d love to show you.
3
SPEAKER_05
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_05
I m not anymore, but yeah.
3
SPEAKER_04
So you still haven t met a monk.
3
SPEAKER_04
When was this?
3
SPEAKER_05
So this was 2010 to 2013.
3
SPEAKER_05
And I was a monk across India, UK and Europe.
3
SPEAKER_05
I traveled between the three and I had a shaved head, I wore robes, I slept on the floor.
3
SPEAKER_05
We meditate for like four to eight hours sometimes a day.
3
SPEAKER_05
And so it was a deep practice.
3
SPEAKER_05
Standard eight hour meditation is crazy.
3
SPEAKER_05
When do you do anything else?
3
SPEAKER_05
Well, sometimes you didn t, that was the point.
3
SPEAKER_04
An eight hour meditation is wild.
3
SPEAKER_04
Isn t that sleeping?
3
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, I mean you can count it as the same, we sleep for 8 hours The hardest part for me with meditating is that I instantly fall asleep That s good I can fall asleep very easily So I ll tell you why though, the reason why that happens during meditation or any practice of that sort is your body and mind are finally coming into sync
3
SPEAKER_05
And so it s your body saying, I need sleep right now.
3
SPEAKER_05
And so if you re falling asleep during meditation, it s not a bad thing.
3
SPEAKER_05
It s just, you ve literally, because what s happening when you re not falling asleep is your mind saying, we got to do more.
3
SPEAKER_05
We got to do more.
3
SPEAKER_05
And then finally, when you become present, you fall asleep because your body s saying, I ve done enough today.
3
SPEAKER_04
Where do you do these meditations?
3
SPEAKER_05
I have a little meditation room, I ll take you to afterwards.
3
SPEAKER_04
I want to do a meditation with you.
3
SPEAKER_05
Alright, we ll do it.
3
SPEAKER_04
I want to learn.
3
SPEAKER_04
There was a time in my life when I was going through rough times.
4
SPEAKER_00
and then like, you know, I was going to therapy and I was meditating and stuff and it actually helped me so much.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, wow.
4
SPEAKER_00
It helped me.
4
SPEAKER_01
What was that during?
4
SPEAKER_01
What were you going through?
4
SPEAKER_00
When everything first started happening for me all at once, it was really overwhelming.
4
SPEAKER_00
For the first year or two, I was like, oh, this is awesome.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then it really hit me, because so many different responsibilities and people asking you for money.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I just didn t grow up in a way.
4
SPEAKER_00
I didn t even imagine.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was young when I made it, so I didn t really
4
SPEAKER_00
I didn t even realize about money, and then I m like, oh my god, I have this, what do I do with it?
4
SPEAKER_00
And then it s like, I have all this success, and people need things from me, and people want, and it was just too much, and where I grew up, I didn t, I don t know, I didn t go to therapy as a kid, I didn t know about any of that.
4
SPEAKER_00
I didn t know what anxiety was.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was like, oh, everyone, the room spins for everyone when you sit down and you re doing something.
4
SPEAKER_00
There were so many things I didn t understand, and I thought it was just my body, and I never talked to anyone about it.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, oh, they re just things I learned to live with.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I remember, I just remember exactly where I was.
4
SPEAKER_00
like walking in to get a new cell phone.
4
SPEAKER_00
I lost my mind and I just couldn t handle it anymore.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I remember like a week later, I went home to Virginia where my mom was living at the time.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I remember I was like in the bathroom and I was like,
4
SPEAKER_00
Like, I don t, I can t do, I was like, I can t do this anymore.
4
SPEAKER_00
I like, I don t, I can t.
4
SPEAKER_00
I had this feeling like this, this crazy feeling of anxiety that was like crippling.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it was like, I couldn t do anything.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I was just like, I, I was like in the bathtub.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I remember like calling from I was crying and I was like, I don t know, I can t do this.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what to do.
4
SPEAKER_00
I like, I can t even explain the feel.
4
SPEAKER_00
I didn t know how to articulate the words.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was like, I can t even explain what I m feeling to you.
4
SPEAKER_00
I feel like I m going crazy.
4
SPEAKER_00
And in my family, some people have some issues.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I was always scared of myself falling into some similar things that are in my family, that run in my family.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I just remember somebody got me to go to therapy, and I met this guy, and he s my therapist today, still to this day.
4
SPEAKER_00
He s been my therapist for almost 20 years.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I remember I first went there, and I had
4
SPEAKER_00
All these things, I was like, I used to go and I d have to hold my head like this.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, well, I can t let go of my arm, cuz if I let go of my arm, my neck s gonna fall off and I m gonna be paralyzed.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was so in deep, and I never thought I was gonna get out.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I remember I started, I used to go six days a week, and then it was three days a week, then it was two days, then it was one.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it was CBT, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and it s kind of like,
4
SPEAKER_00
a type of therapy where you use your words.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it s not, I was very, I didn t want to do medicine.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I didn t, you know, cause I also had in my family, there s some drug abuse and stuff.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I, I, I was like, I don t want to do this with medicine.
4
SPEAKER_00
I want to figure out how to do it the right way.
4
SPEAKER_00
And at that time I wasn t, now I m like a workout fanatic.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s like my new meditation.
4
SPEAKER_00
But before that, I was like, well, how do I do this?
4
SPEAKER_00
And I started, you know, my therapist recommended meditation to me and he had this really easy way of doing it.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it was so easy.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it wasn t, it wasn t even like anything specific.
4
SPEAKER_00
He was like, just, you know, he would just like, it was the most basic form of meditation.
4
SPEAKER_00
I would do it with
4
SPEAKER_00
either with a spoken word thing, or just like, he d be like, find the most calming music you like, and he would just be like, no matter what, just every day, he was like, for 20 to 30 minutes, just sit down, put a pillow on your head, try not to be too comfy where you ll fall asleep, set a timer, and just do it.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I remember doing it, and at first it was impossible, when I was like,
4
SPEAKER_00
in my shit was impossible and then eventually I started like looking forward to that time every day and it really just helped me a lot and then like
4
SPEAKER_00
In 2018, and then I got like, it was probably like a year or so of, and this was probably 2009, maybe this was happening.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then like, then I like got back on track and everything was great.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then in 2018, I really like,
4
SPEAKER_00
working out became like my new meditation.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it was just like, I have to do it.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it was so funny, because I went so many years without doing it.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I m sure in your life, you went years without doing meditation.
4
SPEAKER_00
And now, what happens if you randomly miss?
4
SPEAKER_00
Do you ever miss one ever?
4
SPEAKER_01
I ll catch up, I won t, yeah, I don t meditate at 5.30 every day.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like it s not, I can t keep that up because we re on planes, we re traveling, like our lifestyles don t allow it.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so I will be meditating in the evening.
4
SPEAKER_01
But like what happens?
4
SPEAKER_01
The quality, well, I find that for me, the quality dips, the last week was one of those weeks.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was, I had like three massively late nights in a row on the weekend because of events and parties and things and things that I was going to.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I couldn t wake up early.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then I still had a full day of work.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then in the evening I was catching up with it.
4
SPEAKER_01
And i found that i didn t have the time and space that i need in order to feel really aligned and what i mean by that is i can still operate no one else will really know it s the difference but i know it s the difference from like i feel like i have less energy today i feel like i have less clarity today and i feel like i m not as.
4
SPEAKER_01
aligned is the best word I can think of as I like to be.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so it doesn t really affect anyone else, but it does affect me.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I know what level I can raise to, which is what you re probably saying when you re working out, like when you miss a day of working out, how do you feel now?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
I, I, you know, I thought of something when you were saying, so you re seen as like, you know,
4
SPEAKER_00
this guy who s like, mindfulness, health, this.
4
SPEAKER_00
Aren t you sometimes, do you feel like, I have to be so perfect all the time?
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, it s so interesting you say that, Benny.
4
SPEAKER_01
I used to think that when I started out, that that s what I had to be.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then I ve let go of that pressure personally.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like I let go of that.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I m just, like I m saying to you now, I don t wake up every day.
4
SPEAKER_01
Sometimes I m meditating on planes, in Ubers, on trains.
4
SPEAKER_01
Sometimes I m doing it while I m falling asleep.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like I I m okay with opening up about that because to me,
4
SPEAKER_01
That, A, I hope, well, A, it s the truth.
4
SPEAKER_01
B, I hope that that actually helps people realize that they don t have to have the perfect regime every single day.
4
SPEAKER_01
Because I used to think that, and all I did was put more pressure on myself.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, I d stress myself out.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I m more comfortable today saying, I believe in meditation, I value mindfulness, I value all these things, but it doesn t look perfect in my life.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it won t in yours either.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it doesn t in anyone s.
4
SPEAKER_01
Whoever s life we think it looks perfect in is a myth.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, sometimes you get upset.
4
SPEAKER_00
You re like a guy who s not allowed to get upset.
4
SPEAKER_00
Something happens.
4
SPEAKER_00
I find that sometimes.
4
SPEAKER_00
What do you know, Benny?
4
SPEAKER_01
What are you trying to say?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, exactly.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, I find sometimes in work,
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, when you get to the top of like your field, people are only expecting like a perfect, like if you re like, say you re like LeBron James, like if you don t have, if you score like 20 instead of like 40 in the game, they re like, oh, what s happening to LeBron, you know?
4
SPEAKER_00
And it s this like,
4
SPEAKER_00
It s this pressure that I know exists for people and I just wanted to know.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, no, I definitely have felt that pressure and I think I ve removed it from myself.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s what I realized that ultimately it was a pressure I was putting on myself.
4
SPEAKER_01
It wasn t actually from anyone else.
4
SPEAKER_01
It was me thinking, whereas if I was just honest and transparent and authentic with people,
4
SPEAKER_01
then all of a sudden the pressure s off.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I can also be a human because I am one.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I think there s so much more of a joy in embracing our imperfections and flaws and recognizing that it s even with coaching people, by the way, and I m sure you feel this with music.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like when you working with a artist to produce their album is like what I do with coaching clients.
4
SPEAKER_01
So coaching clients come to me and say, hey, can we solve this problem?
4
SPEAKER_01
Whatever else it may be.
4
SPEAKER_01
Someone s coming to you saying, hey, Benny, can you make this album with me?
4
SPEAKER_01
And before I used to think, God, if I don t say something profound in the first hour of meeting someone, then they re not going to think I m worthy or valuable.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I started to realize I was like, that blocked me from saying something worthy.
4
SPEAKER_01
It didn t allow me to be a channel or a vessel.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was now forcing some manufactured version.
4
SPEAKER_01
And even if I did, now I was just setting myself up for more pressure every time we met, rather than just having a flowing exchange with someone.
4
SPEAKER_01
How do you feel like when an artist comes and says, Hey, Benny, I want you to produce my whole album.
4
SPEAKER_01
Where was the time it switched from pressure to just flow?
4
SPEAKER_00
I never had pressure.
5
SPEAKER_01
because I don t care, because I treat every experience like, I ll be like this, you know, some people, when you get in the studio, there s something or you re on a TV set or you re on here, they re just like, Oh, we got to get it all done.
5
SPEAKER_01
We have to get this done today.
5
SPEAKER_01
We have to, for me, I m just as happy if we were to come in.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like if I came into this podcast today and you re like, Hey, I m sorry, like the equipment s not working.
5
SPEAKER_01
then I d be like, oh, let s just like chill, walk around your thing because that s what was meant to happen that day.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I m not stressing because you know what, eventually we ll get like an interview or eventually we ll get a song or, you know, I. I m a big like procrastinator and work like when someone comes over, I m like.
5
SPEAKER_01
You like to eat, what do you want to eat?
5
SPEAKER_01
You want to eat some, I ll eat some.
5
SPEAKER_01
All that stuff is part of it.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s part of what s going to happen later.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know what I m saying?
5
SPEAKER_01
Or you like, let s say you have a client, someone like you re trying to get to the bottom or the root of a problem.
5
SPEAKER_01
You re going to have to disarm them and get them to chill.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, definitely.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s not going to happen through anything else.
5
SPEAKER_00
What s your, do you have, do you have a setup process for every person or do you really go with the flow with each individual?
5
SPEAKER_00
This stuff got caffeine in it?
5
SPEAKER_00
It has natural caffeine from tea.
5
SPEAKER_01
I ll take a sip of it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s green tea.
5
SPEAKER_01
Green tea is really caffeinated, right?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
You drink caffeine?
5
SPEAKER_00
Only in the tea form.
5
SPEAKER_01
Only in the tea form.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
I like that.
5
SPEAKER_00
Only in the tea form.
5
SPEAKER_00
As in like, I drink herbal tea and I drink this tea, but I don t.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s good.
5
SPEAKER_00
Thanks, man.
5
SPEAKER_00
Appreciate it.
5
SPEAKER_00
My wife and I put it together.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s all natural.
5
SPEAKER_01
Go buy his drink.
5
SPEAKER_01
How d you come up with the name?
5
SPEAKER_00
It stands for just you and I. So it was a way of trying to bring people together through sharing a moment.
5
SPEAKER_00
How s the caffeine heading?
5
SPEAKER_00
Is it all right?
5
SPEAKER_01
I m taking little, I don t drink caffeine at all.
5
SPEAKER_00
Neither do I apart from tea.
5
SPEAKER_00
So yeah, I don t drink.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t drink.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m not like a caffeine person.
5
SPEAKER_01
I wake up and I m like ready to rip.
5
SPEAKER_00
Me too.
5
SPEAKER_01
I wake up, I like pop out of bed.
5
SPEAKER_01
What time do you wake up?
5
SPEAKER_01
Early.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like, uh, six, usually 6.10 to 6.30.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
What gets you in the creative zone?
5
SPEAKER_00
Like you re always like cooking.
5
SPEAKER_00
Let s talk about Open Wide for a second.
5
SPEAKER_00
Creativity, I think people look at you and they think, oh, he s musically creative, but then the rest of his life must be.
5
SPEAKER_00
But no, it s like you re creative in cooking, you re creative in music.
5
SPEAKER_00
Obviously you re talking about relationships can be creative too.
5
SPEAKER_00
Is it just something that was cooking always a passion?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s just like- Do you cook at all or no?
5
SPEAKER_00
So, I m the exact opposite.
5
SPEAKER_00
Cooking, kitchens, and cooking scares me.
5
SPEAKER_00
My wife is a plant-based chef and recipe developer.
5
SPEAKER_00
Really?
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh my god.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, this is all she does.
5
SPEAKER_00
Has she always cooked?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh my god.
5
SPEAKER_00
She s loved it since she was- and she s a dietician and nutritionist as well.
5
SPEAKER_00
What s her name?
5
SPEAKER_00
Radhi.
5
SPEAKER_00
Radhi s her name.
5
SPEAKER_00
R-A-D-H-I.
5
SPEAKER_00
Radhi.
5
SPEAKER_01
Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, I gotta see it.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m obsessed with all that.
5
SPEAKER_01
One of my friends, the person who I wrote my book with, her name s Jess, she has like a, she s predominantly like a plant-based chef and she worked for Martha Stewart for years and she s incredible.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s funny, my books are always crazy.
5
SPEAKER_01
I eat very healthy unless I m being like a naughty boy.
5
SPEAKER_00
What s naughty?
5
SPEAKER_00
How bad s naughty?
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, naughty is like you wake up and there s crumbs and glaze all over you.
5
SPEAKER_01
You don t even know what it is.
5
SPEAKER_01
But mostly I m pretty, I m like during...
5
SPEAKER_01
during the week, you know, cause I lost a lot of weight.
5
SPEAKER_01
I lost like 50 pounds consciously.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_01
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know, honestly, at the beginning I was going into a weight loss challenge because my brother had gained a bunch of weight.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then when I went and we like did the DEXA scan thing, I was 33% body fat.
5
SPEAKER_01
I was like, well, am I fat?
5
SPEAKER_01
And I just didn t even, I didn t even know that I was being unhealthy.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then that s when I started working out and I got obsessed with it.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it was like, I wasn t necessarily trying to lose weight, but then once I did, I was like, whoa, this is cool.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m one of those people now, like when I lost the first weight, it wasn t trying to lose weight.
5
SPEAKER_01
It was just like trying to be healthy.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then I felt like the feeling every time I went to the gym, I was like, whoa, I have no anxiety like after and I m not thinking about anything else except like what s happening.
5
SPEAKER_01
And that was very rare for me.
5
SPEAKER_01
So I was like, I got to chase this feeling.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then.
5
SPEAKER_01
Now I like, you know, me and my friends, we do like little like weight loss challenges.
5
SPEAKER_01
We re like, okay, whoever can lose the most weight in like one month or whoever can do this.
5
SPEAKER_01
I just like to, I like to challenge my body.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, out of your comfort zone.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I like to just like push myself in any way possible.
5
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, no, I like, do you eat pretty healthy?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, very, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, because of her, right?
5
SPEAKER_00
Because of her, exactly.
5
SPEAKER_00
If otherwise, you d be like.
5
SPEAKER_00
Before I met her, it was like pizzas at midnight, burgers, fries.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s my favorite food.
5
SPEAKER_00
What are you guys eating today?
5
SPEAKER_01
What d you eat today?
5
SPEAKER_00
What did I have in the morning?
5
SPEAKER_00
I had like avocado mushroom toast in the morning.
5
SPEAKER_01
And did you make it or she did?
5
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no, she did.
5
SPEAKER_01
So if she s not in town, do you ever cook?
5
SPEAKER_00
I m ordering in, but I m ordering healthy.
5
SPEAKER_00
You re ordering healthy because you re scared she might be filming you while watching.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s actually, I ll say to my team, I ll be like, guys, just so you know, let s order this because my wife s not around.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you ll be a little not.
5
SPEAKER_00
She s been a good influence on me because before I met her, I was addicted to sugar.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like I was addicted to chocolates and ice creams.
5
SPEAKER_00
I had a massive, because of my mom.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t have the sweet tooth.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s lucky, man.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s one of the worst.
5
SPEAKER_01
I d much rather like a huge slice of bread or a taco.
5
SPEAKER_01
I really like one bite of a dessert.
5
SPEAKER_01
I always want one bite.
5
SPEAKER_01
At the end of the day, I ll always have a date or something or a piece of fruit.
5
SPEAKER_01
I love that, but I don t like the,
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_01
Occasionally a cookie or something if it s not too sweet.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t like really sweet things.
5
SPEAKER_01
They make my stomach hurt.
5
SPEAKER_01
There s a few.
5
SPEAKER_01
I like, what s that thing when it s like meringue?
5
SPEAKER_01
Pavlova.
5
SPEAKER_01
Because it s not too sweet.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s light.
5
SPEAKER_01
Pavlova makes me
5
SPEAKER_00
How did you curb your cravings for things you love?
5
SPEAKER_00
Like when you re doing a challenge, how do you curb your cravings?
5
SPEAKER_01
I just shut it off.
5
SPEAKER_01
I love, I love, like, I love a challenge.
5
SPEAKER_00
Right.
5
SPEAKER_01
Just any challenge.
5
SPEAKER_01
If someone s like, I bet you can t walk 25 miles right now.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m like, yes, I can.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I ll do it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like, I just love, I love that feeling of doing something.
5
SPEAKER_01
And you have a group of people that you do with my friends.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I work out with my friend if I didn t have a trainer I only pay the only reason I see a trainer is because I m so crazy that I was would be like Oh, I can t waste the money like so I gotta go But if I if it was just up to me, I wouldn t do it.
5
SPEAKER_00
I wouldn t do it.
5
SPEAKER_01
I wouldn t be able to do it It s just that someone s you know, or my friends are like, let s go to the gym We got to go together and we work out together and I like, you know coming back to food.
5
SPEAKER_01
I
5
SPEAKER_01
I like anything.
5
SPEAKER_01
I love community.
5
SPEAKER_01
I love hosting.
5
SPEAKER_01
There s nothing better to me than creating an experience for people.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t care what the medium is.
5
SPEAKER_01
Creating some experience where when someone leaves, they re just like,
5
SPEAKER_01
whoa and they re telling all their friends and like for me it s it s just like you re you know this is like uh looking to give someone an orgasm face at all times like every moment like it because that s what it is it s when you
5
SPEAKER_01
When someone tastes your food, they just open their mouth and they put it in.
5
SPEAKER_01
You just want them to be like, mm.
5
SPEAKER_01
You just want that feeling.
5
SPEAKER_01
When someone plays a song, you want them to be like, oh my god, that thing is crazy.
5
SPEAKER_01
After you change someone s life and they can do a meditation where they can put their leg behind their head, they re just like, oh, thank you.
5
SPEAKER_01
You brought me to a higher sense of being.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s what we re looking for.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m always looking to make my friends happy.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m always, you know, if someone comes to my house and they have like, you know,
5
SPEAKER_01
a hamburger and they re like, I love this.
5
SPEAKER_01
This is my favorite hamburger.
5
SPEAKER_01
I know that.
5
SPEAKER_01
So then I m thinking like the next time they come in, like, Oh, I m going to like, make sure they have that for them.
5
SPEAKER_01
And you know, my grandma, when I was a kid, one of my grandmas, she, you know, she, she was not wealthy by any means.
5
SPEAKER_01
She grew up in like, you know, she, her place was in section eight housing and we would go visit her, uh,
5
SPEAKER_01
And she had a lot of grandkids.
5
SPEAKER_01
And if we went over there, and one time we had a juni, and we were like, we love this, it would be there every time we ever went.
5
SPEAKER_01
And she had so many grandkids, so everyone had every single thing.
5
SPEAKER_01
And she wouldn t eat for the week to make sure that everyone had their things, because it made her so happy.
5
SPEAKER_01
The joy she would have when everyone was coming in, and all the things were there, we d be like,
5
SPEAKER_01
She has this, and that s what I like to do.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I love to create, whether it s the perfect napkin, the perfect meal, the perfect music playing at the same time.
5
SPEAKER_01
And that s what I did with this book.
5
SPEAKER_01
I was trying to teach people how to have the perfect dinner party.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s brilliant.
5
SPEAKER_01
Because I was like, OK.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know, some people, they might not know what to do.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like, you re nervous in the kitchen.
5
SPEAKER_01
This book is gonna make it so like, sure, fire away.
5
SPEAKER_01
You want something easy that looks good?
5
SPEAKER_01
Great.
5
SPEAKER_01
You wanna have a dinner party?
5
SPEAKER_01
Like, do you know what type of wine to serve?
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_01
Do you wanna smoke weed with your people?
5
SPEAKER_01
Does weed make you anxious?
5
SPEAKER_01
Who knows.
5
SPEAKER_01
Is it midnight and you want everyone to leave?
5
SPEAKER_01
Cause you gotta wake up at 5.30 the next day, but you still want them to love you?
5
SPEAKER_01
I m gonna teach you how to kick them out.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know, and it s just like.
5
SPEAKER_01
I love that, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s that whole thing.
6
SPEAKER_03
And it s just like that moment of just like getting a bunch of people together.
6
SPEAKER_03
And I love getting the people together that don t necessarily go together.
6
SPEAKER_03
And it s like someone is like a musician and they re sitting next to a man who wrote a book.
6
SPEAKER_03
And I mean, one time we were at my house and I remember I was my mother.
6
SPEAKER_03
was sitting here, and SZA was sitting here, and a man on the other side actually makes rocket ships that go to space.
6
SPEAKER_03
And to me, it was just so cool to see them all talking and not caring about
6
SPEAKER_03
you know what was going on and there was no egos and there was everyone s just having a good time and food is like the best social lubricant in the world because it s like you can immediately talk about something you re like oh you like food it s just like the automatic conversation starter
6
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_04
Next time you come over, we re going to have to do food for sure.
6
SPEAKER_04
Because yeah, that s, it s a big love language for my wife.
6
SPEAKER_04
She loves, she always says that s her love language.
6
SPEAKER_03
I want to cook with her.
6
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, you guys would have a, you guys would have a blast.
6
SPEAKER_04
She loves cooking, creating recipes, and also same as you, creating community.
6
SPEAKER_04
And it s actually funny you say that.
6
SPEAKER_04
I m trying to think of a book that you just reminded me of that was based on a restaurant that did that.
6
SPEAKER_04
And they recently converted it, it became 11 Madison Park in New York.
6
SPEAKER_04
And it was a restaurant that tried to give that level of care that you feel in a home.
6
SPEAKER_04
And so Open Wide, your book, I love that it s not just a cookbook.
6
SPEAKER_04
I love that it s about how to build community.
6
SPEAKER_04
It s all of that.
6
SPEAKER_04
Because I think that s what people miss out on, right?
6
SPEAKER_04
We think that hosting is about all the fancy stuff.
6
SPEAKER_04
And it s like, it isn t.
6
SPEAKER_02
When the Taliban banned music in Afghanistan, millions were plunged into silence.
6
SPEAKER_02
Radios were smashed, cassettes burned.
6
SPEAKER_02
You could be beaten or jailed or killed for breaking the rules.
6
SPEAKER_02
And yet, Afghans did it anyway.
6
SPEAKER_02
This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.
6
SPEAKER_02
The danger they endured.
6
SPEAKER_05
They said my head should be cut off.
6
SPEAKER_02
the joy they brought to the nation.
6
SPEAKER_01
You re free completely.
6
SPEAKER_01
No one is there to destroy you.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m John Legend.
6
SPEAKER_02
Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
6
SPEAKER_05
Imagine you asked two people the same exact set of seven questions.
6
SPEAKER_05
I m Minnie Driver, and this was the idea I set out to explore in my podcast, Minnie Questions.
6
SPEAKER_05
This year, we bring a whole new group of guests to answer the same seven questions, including actress and star of the mega hit sitcom Friends, Courtney Cox.
6
SPEAKER_05
You can t go around it, so you just go through it.
6
SPEAKER_05
This is a roadblock.
6
SPEAKER_05
It s going to catch you down the road.
6
SPEAKER_05
Go through it.
6
SPEAKER_05
Deal with it.
6
SPEAKER_05
Comedian, writer, and star of the series Catastrophe, Rob Delaney.
6
SPEAKER_00
I shouldn t feel guilty about my son s death.
6
SPEAKER_00
He died of a brain tumor.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s part of what happens when your kid dies.
6
SPEAKER_00
Intellectually, you ll understand that it s not your fault, but you ll still feel guilty.
6
SPEAKER_05
Alt-rock icon, Liz Phair.
6
SPEAKER_03
That personal disaster wrote Guyville, so everything comes out of a dead end.
6
SPEAKER_05
and many, many more.
6
SPEAKER_05
Join me on season three of Mini Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts.
6
SPEAKER_05
Seven questions, limitless answers.
6
SPEAKER_01
A new season of Bridgerton is here.
6
SPEAKER_01
And with it, a new season of Bridgerton, the official podcast.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m your host, Gabrielle Collins.
6
SPEAKER_01
And this season, we are bringing fans even deeper into the ton.
6
SPEAKER_01
Colin Bridgerton has returned from his travels abroad.
6
SPEAKER_01
Is Betrothal written in the stars for the eligible bachelor?
6
SPEAKER_01
Meanwhile, the ton is reverberating with speculation of who holds Lady Whistledown s pen.
6
SPEAKER_01
We re discussing it all.
6
SPEAKER_01
I sit down with Nicola Coughlin, Luke Newton, Shonda Rhimes, and more to offer an exclusive peek behind the scenes of each episode of the new season.
6
SPEAKER_01
Watch season three of the Shondaland series on Netflix.
6
SPEAKER_01
Then fall in love all over again by listening to Bridgerton, the official podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
6
SPEAKER_01
Subscribe to catch a new episode every Thursday.
6
SPEAKER_03
My godfather always said this thing.
6
SPEAKER_03
He would always say, you know, when I was a kid, I never even understood it, but I so understand it now.
6
SPEAKER_03
He always used to say, we d always figure out where we were going to dinner.
6
SPEAKER_03
And he goes, it doesn t matter.
6
SPEAKER_03
It s about the rap.
6
SPEAKER_03
And we were like, what do you mean?
6
SPEAKER_03
He s like, it s just about the rap.
6
SPEAKER_03
He s like, the only thing.
6
SPEAKER_03
It s just to get everyone together.
6
SPEAKER_03
If the food s great, that s awesome.
6
SPEAKER_03
But it s about hanging with your friends, laughing till you cry, falling in love with someone.
6
SPEAKER_03
I ve had the opportunity to have dinners where so many things have happened to people.
6
SPEAKER_03
Someone s found the person they date.
6
SPEAKER_03
Somebody s started a company.
6
SPEAKER_03
Somebody s laughed so hard they cry.
6
SPEAKER_03
That s what I m trying to do.
6
SPEAKER_03
And I love, do you ever, you have dinners with people?
6
SPEAKER_04
It s one of my favorite things to host as well, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_03
I don t want to go out to a nightclub.
6
SPEAKER_03
I want to sit at home with my friends till two in the morning.
6
SPEAKER_03
Well, for you, you can t do that.
6
SPEAKER_04
I can do that.
6
SPEAKER_04
I can do that.
6
SPEAKER_03
Now, what happens if you stay up late?
6
SPEAKER_03
Do you just self-combust?
6
SPEAKER_04
No, not at all, man.
6
SPEAKER_04
I can stay up late.
6
SPEAKER_04
I just choose not to always do it because I love sleep.
6
SPEAKER_03
Okay, when you were out late this weekend, what time were you out?
6
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, probably getting to bed around one or two.
6
SPEAKER_03
Okay, and then what time do you sleep till?
6
SPEAKER_04
Oh no, the problem was I was still waking up because my body clock so wired that I was still up at the same time.
6
SPEAKER_03
No matter what, I wake up at like six in the morning.
6
SPEAKER_03
No matter when I go to bed.
6
SPEAKER_03
I don t go to bed as early as you though.
6
SPEAKER_03
I m like, in my dream world, I go to bed at like 1130, 12.
6
SPEAKER_03
And then I wake up at like 6, 630.
6
SPEAKER_03
And then on the weekends, I really don t sleep a lot.
6
SPEAKER_03
but I don t need a ton of sleep, but I know I m sure you re gonna say that s terrible for me.
6
SPEAKER_04
No, not at all, man.
6
SPEAKER_04
I m not gonna say anything s terrible.
6
SPEAKER_04
If it works for you, it works for you.
6
SPEAKER_03
But I should be getting more sleep, right?
6
SPEAKER_04
I mean, scientists say seven to nine hours a day.
6
SPEAKER_03
What else do scientists say?
6
SPEAKER_04
Exactly, I don t know, but that s what I m saying.
6
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, my whole family.
6
SPEAKER_04
I know I need eight and I can survive on, I can do fine on six or five if I needed to.
6
SPEAKER_03
I love, like six and a half is my like.
6
SPEAKER_03
Is your sweet spot?
6
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, chef s kiss.
6
SPEAKER_03
Anything over seven, I feel strained.
6
SPEAKER_04
That s good though, but then don t follow it.
6
SPEAKER_04
Like don t push it.
6
SPEAKER_04
I think that s a big part of it too, right?
6
SPEAKER_04
It s like, my wife talks a lot about this, this idea of being able to listen to your body.
6
SPEAKER_04
And I feel like so many of us are like, God, I got to wake up at 5.30 now because Jay said he wakes up at 5.30 or I got to wake up at four because Elon Musk wakes up at four or, you know, Benny said he wakes up at 6.10.
6
SPEAKER_04
So, you know, so whatever it is.
6
SPEAKER_04
And it s like, well, creativity is not based on those things.
6
SPEAKER_04
That s just what works for your body and your mind.
6
SPEAKER_04
This is what works for my body and my mind.
6
SPEAKER_04
So I think, you know, but you seem to have a lot of like, not just community, but you seem to have like a lot of the same people around you, loyal friends.
6
SPEAKER_04
Like that seems to be a big part of your, how have you continued to be able to build that as you grow and make it?
6
SPEAKER_04
It sounds like all your friends love challenges and growth because a lot of people who are listening sometimes feel their friends are not wanting to grow.
6
SPEAKER_04
They re not wanting to try new things.
6
SPEAKER_03
But it s so fun you do it you some people I ve pushed to that and some people have pushed me in other ways and like that s the that s That s what it s all about.
6
SPEAKER_03
You know to me.
6
SPEAKER_03
I ve just had some of my friends for so long because it s hard to find People that are on your and I think it s harder and harder as you get older, you know a lot of my friends most of my friends I knew since I was young and then I have like I
6
SPEAKER_03
You know, like a new friend for me is like five years.
6
SPEAKER_03
Like I d be like, I d be like, whoa, yeah, this is like one of my new friends.
6
SPEAKER_03
Like most of my friends are eight, 10, 20.
6
SPEAKER_04
And do they live in the city too or no?
6
SPEAKER_03
All different places.
6
SPEAKER_03
Some of my friends are like,
6
SPEAKER_03
Some of my friends have very regular jobs and some of them I only get to see once or twice a year in person because of their job.
6
SPEAKER_03
My friend was just out here, he comes every year for a month and a half towards the end of the year.
6
SPEAKER_03
because he s a therapist and he works, you know, in Virginia and he can t really travel that much.
6
SPEAKER_03
So then we get to see each other then.
6
SPEAKER_03
And then, you know, my other friend, his wife is becoming a doctor and and they ve had to have residencies and all these other places.
6
SPEAKER_03
And he works for like
6
SPEAKER_03
Capital One or something, and we don t get to see each other in person very often.
6
SPEAKER_03
But when we do, it s like we saw each other yesterday, and we talk all the time.
6
SPEAKER_03
And then some of my friends are in the same world as me, so they get it.
6
SPEAKER_03
Some of them are in entertainment.
6
SPEAKER_03
And I just love bringing... My friend group is very eclectic.
6
SPEAKER_03
It s like all different types of people.
6
SPEAKER_03
And I love putting people that wouldn t normally be in a room together in a room to see what happens.
6
SPEAKER_04
What s the randomness to is it the person building rocket ships and then your mom and then SZA?
6
SPEAKER_04
It s just like people
7
SPEAKER_00
It s very common for me to go out to dinner and have one person be 22, and then the next person be like 70.
7
SPEAKER_00
And having it not be someone s mom or dad, having it just be someone that s my friend.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m very interested in people, and I love
7
SPEAKER_00
I love meeting creative people, whether that means they re creative professionally, whether creative in their mind, whether they, you know, I just love, I love that feeling of getting into a conversation with someone.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
I also think multi-generational friendships are so powerful.
7
SPEAKER_01
Like I was talking to someone about that, like me and my wife have,
7
SPEAKER_01
a couple of friend of ours, and they re in their late 60s.
7
SPEAKER_01
And they re some of our favorite people to hang out with.
7
SPEAKER_01
Like, I feel like I learn so much, I grow so much, I gain so much perspective.
7
SPEAKER_01
They ve lived 30 years more life than I have.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I think that s, it s so interesting how we may spend time with our parents, but we re not necessarily having friends that are in a different decade of their life, but how powerful it can be to be with someone.
7
SPEAKER_00
A lot of people don t even know their parents like that.
7
SPEAKER_00
Even if you re close with your parents, how close are you with your mom?
7
SPEAKER_00
I m pretty close with my mom, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
Okay, but you don t know.
7
SPEAKER_00
There s so many things you don t know about her.
7
SPEAKER_00
You don t know how she felt the first time she got her heart broken.
7
SPEAKER_00
You don t know if she ever cheated on someone.
7
SPEAKER_00
Sometimes, for me, I ll sit my mom down and I just ask her,
7
SPEAKER_00
I m like, what drugs have you taken?
7
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, how did it make you feel?
7
SPEAKER_00
Because my parents got divorced.
7
SPEAKER_00
I was like, how did you know you wanted to get divorced?
7
SPEAKER_00
What did you feel?
7
SPEAKER_00
And I always, I try to do that because one of my friends started recording his dad when his dad got sick.
7
SPEAKER_00
And he asked him every question he ever wanted to ask him.
7
SPEAKER_00
Because it is so crazy.
7
SPEAKER_00
You re so close to this person that you really don t know.
7
SPEAKER_00
Like, you really, like, we really,
7
SPEAKER_00
don t even know our parents that well because you don t you don t ask them those type of things and no one does like and it s also that time where I remember like your parents gospel is just like the end-all be-all when you re a kid and then all of a sudden you re like 15 or 16 you re like wait
7
SPEAKER_00
You re just a human.
7
SPEAKER_00
That was a mess up on you.
7
SPEAKER_00
You just lied.
7
SPEAKER_00
Like I caught you in that lie.
7
SPEAKER_00
But like until you re like 15 or 16 or something, you can t even fathom that.
7
SPEAKER_00
And then like you realize it s cool.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m so thankful that I get to like.
7
SPEAKER_00
you know, talk to my parents and my family now, like as an adult and be like, yo, what were you feeling like, like when you went through this and like, how did you raise us like that?
7
SPEAKER_00
And is it so hard to do this?
7
SPEAKER_00
And it s cool.
7
SPEAKER_00
I like that feeling.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
I did something similar a few years ago.
7
SPEAKER_01
I felt that way with the podcast where I was like learning about people I d never met.
7
SPEAKER_01
And so we were celebrating my sister s 30th birthday.
7
SPEAKER_01
So it was me and my mom and my sister, my younger sister.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I just started interviewing my mom at dinner and there was no, we didn t record it.
7
SPEAKER_01
It was just us three.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I learned so much.
7
SPEAKER_01
So my mom was studying for exams while, cause she was born and raised in Yemen, while there were Yemeni soldiers fighting British soldiers on her roof.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, I had no idea.
7
SPEAKER_01
And she just casually drops that as if it s like normal.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, mom, you realize that s not normal.
7
SPEAKER_00
You should interview your mom.
7
SPEAKER_01
You need to interview- I ve been thinking about it.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s been on my mind.
7
SPEAKER_00
Interviewing your family is so crazy.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, because you re right.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I think everyone, I would love to do it because I want everyone to do it.
7
SPEAKER_01
My wife was my first ever guest on the show.
7
SPEAKER_01
Really?
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
Because that was a big part of it for me.
7
SPEAKER_01
It was like, I feel like you re so right.
7
SPEAKER_01
We don t really deeply know our family.
7
SPEAKER_01
We think we know them.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
We think we know them.
7
SPEAKER_01
We assume that we know them.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I used to do this thing on my, well, I still do it on all of my albums, where the last song on my album has a spoken word section of, it s over-instrumental of each person in my family.
7
SPEAKER_00
And so far, I did my mom and my dad, and I asked them all these questions.
7
SPEAKER_00
And it s crazy to know that because I basically I asked them questions for like an hour and then I take like the best like 30 seconds and it was both my parents.
7
SPEAKER_00
Wound up talking the most about like.
7
SPEAKER_00
their divorce.
7
SPEAKER_00
And it was like, so interesting to see both sides of it, because I have now forever in time, I have my mom s version and my dad s version.
7
SPEAKER_00
And then like, I just, you know, I m putting out a new album, and I interviewed my brother for his version of it now.
7
SPEAKER_00
And it s like, that s beautiful.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s really special.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s fun.
7
SPEAKER_00
And it s like, you know, it s emotional.
7
SPEAKER_00
And it s like, Whoa, it s cool to hear both sides of everyone s side of an event.
7
SPEAKER_01
What did you Yeah, I think you re so right.
7
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Because
7
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Yeah, we often think there s only one truth and one story and then all of a sudden there s three.
7
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And what was the biggest thing you learned from hearing your mom and dad s version of divorce?
7
SPEAKER_01
Like what was something that surprised you or something you were like, wow, I did not recognize that when I was growing up?
7
SPEAKER_00
I think that it made them both better people to get out of the relationship.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I think like, at first it seemed like my parents were not fans of each other at first.
7
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It was like crazy.
7
SPEAKER_00
But now they re friends.
7
SPEAKER_00
I mean, they haven t been married for, you know, 20 something years.
7
SPEAKER_00
But but yeah, now now we all like go to dinner together and like go on vacation.
7
SPEAKER_00
But, you know, it wasn t always that way.
7
SPEAKER_00
And it s it s cool to see like where it started, to where it is now.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I do think like me and my brother, like we re a big
7
SPEAKER_00
Like our success was like a big catalyst on getting like everyone together because it forced us to get together and then No, it s cool.
7
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yo life is so crazy like the way, you know the way you meet people in the way people come in and out of your life and someone you may not even like really know could become like your wife or someone like that s like you despise could become your best friend and it s just it s very interesting how
7
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how life plays out.
7
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And I find that more and more as I get older.
7
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And my mom always used to be like, she d be like, you know, when you get older, you re going to, and I used to be like, what are you talking?
7
SPEAKER_00
But it s so true.
7
SPEAKER_00
Just like over and over again, I m learning something new every day.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
7
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So true, man.
7
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Benny, I could talk to you for hours.
7
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Genuinely, like we could go on and on and on, but,
7
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I wanted to make sure, is there anything that we haven t talked about before we go to the final five, which is the way we end any interviews?
7
SPEAKER_01
Is there anything we haven t talked about that you really wanted to touch on that s on your heart or mind or something that... What s your five thing?
7
SPEAKER_00
What s that?
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, we can do that.
7
SPEAKER_00
We ll start with that.
7
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It s a final five that we end every interview with.
7
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of all time.
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh, it s the same question?
7
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It s the same, well, same four questions.
7
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One of them I usually play with.
7
SPEAKER_01
Same three or four questions.
7
SPEAKER_01
Oh, okay.
7
SPEAKER_01
And one of them I usually play with for the person.
7
SPEAKER_01
And these are your final five.
7
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They have to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum.
7
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Oh my God.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
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And then I may ask you to go on because I usually break my rule, but here we go.
7
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All right.
7
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Penny Blanco, these are your final five.
7
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So the first question is, what is the best advice you ve ever heard or received?
7
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Don t be afraid to fail.
7
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Who told you it and how have you practiced it?
7
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I can t remember who told me it, but someone did tell you.
7
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Yeah, it wasn t something that no, no, no.
7
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Somebody told me it, but I will tell you this.
7
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I always say this to someone because people come up to me all the time and they re just like.
7
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Oh man, you don t miss, you did this, you did that.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I ll talk to someone, you know, one of my friends was going through a hard time recently.
7
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It was like his first failures and I remember talking to him and I said, I said, you don t think I failed a million times?
7
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I said,
7
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You look at someone like Michael Jordan, okay?
7
SPEAKER_00
He s taken so many shots, he s missed so many shots.
7
SPEAKER_00
Do you remember any of those?
7
SPEAKER_00
No, you remember him swishing it and walking back with his tongue out.
7
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Nobody s sitting there being like, Jay, I saw that back in 2008, that rap career didn t really work out for you.
7
SPEAKER_00
No, they re like, Jay, wow, every get, you got Michelle Obama on you.
7
SPEAKER_00
So I always tell people,
7
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It doesn t, it doesn t matter.
7
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Don t be afraid to fail.
7
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Nobody s even going to remember it.
7
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There s only, and if someone s literally tallying your failures, they re psycho.
7
SPEAKER_00
You know?
7
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Well said, man.
7
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Yeah.
7
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No one remembers the misses.
7
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No.
7
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No one remembers the miss.
7
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If you keep going.
7
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Yeah.
7
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But if you stop at the miss.
7
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But you got to keep going.
7
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You got to keep going.
7
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Question number two, what is the worst advice you ve ever heard or received?
7
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I was going around playing my music for people.
7
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And I had just switched my style up because I used to make, I originally made music that sounded like I was copying Timbaland, sounded like I was copying Pharrell, sounded like I was trying to be someone else.
7
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And I remember I had just made music that didn t sound like anything.
7
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It sounded so weird, it was so different, wasn t like what was going on.
7
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I remember I went into a meeting and someone was like, nobody makes music like this.
8
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You got it.
8
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you gotta fit in more.
8
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And that just made me go the opposite way.
8
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Then I was like, now I know I gotta do the crazy stuff.
8
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Because at least, I just want someone, when I used to go in and play music, for them to be like, I ve never heard anything like this.
8
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This is so weird, this is not gonna work.
8
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Because when everyone likes something usually, that means it s not gonna work.
8
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When some people are unsure about something, that s when it s usually gonna work.
8
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So I don t know, someone told me to fit in more and I didn t really vibe with that.
8
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That s a great answer.
8
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I think it s so interesting when you re young, everyone tells you to fit in and when you get older, everyone says stand out.
8
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And it s like, well, wait a minute, I had to wear uniform, I had to come in on time and now all of a sudden I ve got to find who I am.
8
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And it s such a contradiction.
8
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Of course.
8
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Yes.
8
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Great answer.
8
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All right.
8
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Question number three.
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What s something that you used to value that you no longer value?
8
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success.
8
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I used to really care about getting that number one song, getting that thing, and I feel like I
8
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I feel like I did everything I wanted to do.
8
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And now I feel like everything s like the cherry on top of the sundae now.
8
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So I m just having so much fun trying new things.
8
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And of course I want them to be successful and stuff, but I don t have, and I do still work and have a drive and want to do it, but I want to do it more for me and less for other people.
8
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I used to want to do it because I was like, I have to be,
8
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Number one, I have to be the best in the world.
8
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I have to be this.
8
SPEAKER_01
And now I just get to wake up and I m like, okay, I already did the things I want to do.
8
SPEAKER_01
So like, I want to make a cookbook.
8
SPEAKER_01
I want to do it.
8
SPEAKER_01
I want to do this.
8
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And I like really want it to be the best and I want it to be awesome.
8
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But it s something that I want to do.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I m putting like that pressure on myself.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s not like for other people anymore.
8
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And yeah, I think
8
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I don t know.
8
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And I always had a strange feeling with success, too.
8
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I was always kind of ashamed of it for some reason.
8
SPEAKER_01
Or I d be like, oh, I don t deserve this.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m probably going to get cancer now because I did well.
8
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So I don t deserve this.
8
SPEAKER_01
And somebody else deserves this more.
8
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How did you overcome that doubt?
8
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Because I think a lot of people feel that way.
8
SPEAKER_00
People are coming to money, fame, even a bit of success and we start going, oh crap, this wasn t meant to be.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s still there for me.
8
SPEAKER_01
I still have that feeling a little bit, a little bit of the imposter syndrome.
8
SPEAKER_01
But it s so funny because I m so confident at the same time.
8
SPEAKER_01
But sometimes I do have that feeling where I m just like, oh, why do I deserve this?
8
SPEAKER_01
What did I do?
8
SPEAKER_01
And there s so many more people who are more talented than me.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I ll start questioning stuff like that in my head.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and you re still working through that.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, every day, we re working through everything.
8
SPEAKER_01
And the success thing, like, it s not fully let go, but it s like, it s something that, like, I catch myself more and more, like, just really wanting to do the things because, like, it s not a competition always anymore, and it used to be, like, such a competition with me in my head.
8
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Yeah.
8
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With that.
8
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And I try to find like other things that are competitions and like competitions like that are like friendly and there s not like a huge thing at the end of the tunnel for it.
8
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Beautiful.
8
SPEAKER_00
Question number four.
8
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What s something that you think you learned from your parents  relationship that affects your relationships moving forwards?
8
SPEAKER_00
Like something that you ll take as a lesson on what to do or what not to do.
8
SPEAKER_01
I don t think my parents listened to each other.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I think all relationships, whether it s romantic, business, friendships, you just have to listen to each other.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s like the easiest thing in the world.
8
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Just be a listener, and it s okay to be wrong.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s also another thing that I ve really come to terms with.
8
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It s like I always,
8
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would find myself wanting to be right about the thing, wanting to be this.
8
SPEAKER_01
It almost makes you look better if you re like, you know what, I was wrong.
8
SPEAKER_01
And stop trying to defend a thing to the end that you know you re wrong about.
8
SPEAKER_01
So it s like, I was wrong, I was wrong.
8
SPEAKER_01
And then everyone s happy if you just say, if you re like, I was wrong, I messed up, I messed up.
8
SPEAKER_01
Instead of trying, it s like putting shame around being wrong, and it s okay to be wrong.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s okay to fuck up sometimes.
8
SPEAKER_00
I think that s great.
8
SPEAKER_00
Listen, and it s okay to be wrong.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s okay to be wrong.
8
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Fifth and final question, Benny.
8
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We ask this to every guest who s ever been on the show.
8
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If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?
8
SPEAKER_01
You know, I just, I wish there was a world where just
8
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everyone could find a way to just fit in and just not be, it s okay to get upset sometimes.
8
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I just wish people could talk things out and find a way to love each other and find, I don t know, find a way to live together.
8
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It just killed me.
8
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It s so hard for me to ever watch any of the news, and it s just like, I m like,
8
SPEAKER_01
It just like crushes me watching people fight and people like violence.
8
SPEAKER_01
And it s like crazy.
8
SPEAKER_01
Like I don t understand.
8
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I just like don t even understand.
8
SPEAKER_01
I don t know people, you know, to like for someone to do something so bad to like an innocent person.
8
SPEAKER_01
Like anytime I see things like that, I just don t understand.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I, you know, I, in my ideal world, there s,
8
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I don t even know if it s a law, I don t, people just be nice to each other and just be like caring and considerate and understand that it s okay to not be the same as somebody else and it s okay to not have the exact same opinion as somebody else, but you guys can coexist and live and just like, I don t know.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s like I always have these like idealistic thoughts in my head and it s very hard to create those because we re so far gone.
8
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as a planet.
8
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You know, there s like so much greed and there s so much, I don t know, I ve always been like, just like, happy, whether it was like I had a lot of money or no money.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I ve always found that when me and my friends listen to each other and work together and talk things out, like,
8
SPEAKER_01
like nothing can go wrong, and if it does go wrong, then you talk about it and you make it better, and I don t know, what s the best law you heard someone say?
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s a good question.
8
SPEAKER_00
I think a lot of people share the sentiment that you re saying, like I think a lot of us feel like that, like we want to live in a more just, happier, loving kind of world.
8
SPEAKER_00
I think two that stand out to me, Daniel Kaluuya came on, he s the guy, so Daniel came on and he said that
8
SPEAKER_00
for everyone that you judged or criticized, the law would be that you d have to then, whoever you judge and criticize, you d have to go live as them for a day or a year or something like that.
8
SPEAKER_00
Ooh, I like that one.
8
SPEAKER_00
It was like a fixed thing.
8
SPEAKER_00
And then Trevor Noah had one.
8
SPEAKER_00
His one was, there d be a rule that every day someone s bank balance in the planet could go to zero.
8
SPEAKER_00
So it could be you, your friend, your family member, and how differently you d behave with people, knowing that that could be you one day, it could be your mom, it could be your dad, it could be your friend, and that way you d be more conscious of what it would feel like to be around people who don t have a lot.
8
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Yeah, I changed mine.
8
SPEAKER_01
Free weed for everyone.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s my new one.
8
SPEAKER_01
No, that s great.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s a good one.
8
SPEAKER_00
Those are good.
8
SPEAKER_00
Is weed and unlock, unlock your creativity?
8
SPEAKER_00
Does it make you anxious as you were mentioning for other people earlier?
8
SPEAKER_00
I love smoking weed.
8
SPEAKER_01
Are you allowed to?
8
SPEAKER_01
No, you re not.
8
SPEAKER_00
I don t, I don t.
8
SPEAKER_00
You don t do anything.
8
SPEAKER_00
No, I m not allowed.
8
SPEAKER_00
You don t do anything.
8
SPEAKER_01
You ever have a sip of alcohol?
8
SPEAKER_01
No, not anymore.
8
SPEAKER_01
When did you quit?
8
SPEAKER_00
When you were a monk?
8
SPEAKER_00
15 years ago.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
15, 16 years.
8
SPEAKER_01
What, what, what s your, what do you do?
8
SPEAKER_01
What s your wild thing?
8
SPEAKER_00
My wild thing is- Strippers, I know.
8
SPEAKER_00
No, I m just kidding.
8
SPEAKER_01
No, what is it?
8
SPEAKER_00
I m a super, I guess my wildness comes, I m super competitive.
8
SPEAKER_00
So if I m playing a sport that I m good at.
8
SPEAKER_01
No, come on, give me like, what s your vice?
8
SPEAKER_00
My vice is sugar, man.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s like, it s taking me forever.
8
SPEAKER_00
Sugar?
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, literally.
8
SPEAKER_00
My vice is sugar.
8
SPEAKER_00
My vice is I like to work hard.
8
SPEAKER_00
My vice is,
8
SPEAKER_00
So, but you don t have anything, so you don t have- Well, no, it s not that I don t have anything, it s that I ve worked on it hard for years and years.
8
SPEAKER_01
So no drinking, no weed, no psychedelics, no- No, I d be- I saw your eye glimmer a little.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m always open to exploring anything that would- I mean, weed was something that I did a lot in my teens, so it s not something I ve never done.
8
SPEAKER_01
I wanna know the teen you, the teen you was wild.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, the teen we was wild.
8
SPEAKER_00
I think that s what it is like growing up in London too, like you start drinking very early.
8
SPEAKER_00
Of course.
8
SPEAKER_00
You start playing around with drugs and stuff very early.
8
SPEAKER_00
And so we just had access to a lot of things.
8
SPEAKER_00
So I feel like it s not that I don t, it s that I ve done a lot in my teens.
8
SPEAKER_00
Of course.
8
SPEAKER_00
And so it s not that I have a, again, and I have nothing against it.
8
SPEAKER_00
I think I m always open to things that have medicinal or healing benefits.
8
SPEAKER_00
So I ve always been open.
8
SPEAKER_00
A lot of my clients will do MDMA, do iboga, do ayahuasca.
8
SPEAKER_00
And so I m very familiar with these things and I m always
9
SPEAKER_04
working alongside clinical neuroscientists that I take advice from for my clients and clients own exploration.
9
SPEAKER_04
So I m very aware and like to be educated more and get more experience, but I would do it if I felt there was healing that that could reward me with for sure.
9
SPEAKER_04
I m very open to anything that has healing powers.
9
SPEAKER_04
You take any supplements?
9
SPEAKER_04
I take a lot of, I take 20 supplements a day.
9
SPEAKER_04
All right, let s tell me about the supplements.
9
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, so I m taking, I ll show you my drawer later.
9
SPEAKER_04
It s like literally 20 tablets a day, but it s like B12, magnesium, D, C, K, probiotics, gut supplements, creatine, like a million things.
9
SPEAKER_04
Why do you take them all?
9
SPEAKER_04
Because I really do feel a difference.
9
SPEAKER_04
Why do you take creatine?
9
SPEAKER_04
That s like from the 80s.
9
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, but it works.
9
SPEAKER_04
It s like, so what s really interesting is that I work with, we ve had the doctor that I work with on the show.
9
SPEAKER_04
His name is Dr. Shah.
9
SPEAKER_04
He runs Next Health.
9
SPEAKER_04
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_04
And Next Health basically will do the deepest blood tests and give you like
9
SPEAKER_05
Oh yeah, you do that thing where you have like a bowl of pills you got to take.
9
SPEAKER_04
It s like a packet every day.
9
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, and you get all your biomarkers.
9
SPEAKER_04
You get everything.
9
SPEAKER_04
And what I found is that different body types can t digest certain things.
9
SPEAKER_04
Like my body can t get the nutrients from certain things.
9
SPEAKER_04
I have to eat different proteins.
9
SPEAKER_04
I m also plant-based.
9
SPEAKER_04
So the supplements provide me with all the missing nutrients.
9
SPEAKER_05
Were you feeling bad before you did this?
9
SPEAKER_04
I was feeling, when I wasn t taking all the supplements, I was feeling more tired more easily.
9
SPEAKER_04
And I was like, why am I tired?
9
SPEAKER_04
Because I work out, I sleep well, I meditate.
9
SPEAKER_04
Why am I tired?
9
SPEAKER_05
What type of tired?
9
SPEAKER_04
Just like a feeling of lethargy or fatigue at the end of the day, but like a tired that I didn t like.
9
SPEAKER_04
And I realized that, so vitamin D is meant to be at 60 is safe, 100 is ideal.
9
SPEAKER_04
I was at 10.
9
SPEAKER_04
And if, and people always say, well, you live in LA, you get enough vitamin D. It s not true.
9
SPEAKER_04
Like you ve got to be out in the sun naked, like for four hours a day to get enough vitamin D, especially with my color of skin.
9
SPEAKER_04
And so for me to take vitamin D is non-negotiable.
9
SPEAKER_04
And for most people are low in vitamin D. And so my doctors, my nutrition was saying, Jay, your vitamin D levels means you should be depressed.
9
SPEAKER_04
I was like, I don t feel depressed.
9
SPEAKER_04
I m just tired.
9
SPEAKER_04
And she was just like, well, you know, if you change that will make a massive difference.
9
SPEAKER_04
And it did.
9
SPEAKER_04
And so I think a lot of people,
9
SPEAKER_04
A lot of the times we think we re struggling mentally, but a lot of it s chemical and biological and physical.
9
SPEAKER_04
What you re saying with working out, right?
9
SPEAKER_04
Like it s a physical shift that s changed your mindset.
9
SPEAKER_04
And we can get in our head and go, Oh God, why am I tired?
9
SPEAKER_04
There s something wrong with me.
9
SPEAKER_04
Like maybe I m stressed.
9
SPEAKER_04
And it can be that.
9
SPEAKER_04
Of course it can be that, but sometimes it s chemical and physical.
9
SPEAKER_05
So you take 20 supplements.
9
SPEAKER_04
I ll show you.
9
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_04
I ll show you my little pill drawer.
9
SPEAKER_05
Do you do any other things?
9
SPEAKER_04
No, no.
9
SPEAKER_05
Do you drink any other tinctures through the day that you have to?
9
SPEAKER_04
No, no, well creatine is, I have to mix it in and then- But why do they have you do creatine?
9
SPEAKER_04
That s for me to digest a particular nutrient for my digestion to be good.
9
SPEAKER_04
I also take... Oh, do you have trouble?
9
SPEAKER_05
You have bad stomach?
9
SPEAKER_04
Not a bad stomach.
9
SPEAKER_04
I think that when I went completely plant-based, which I always tell people if they re making that transition, I always tell people to do it slowly.
9
SPEAKER_04
I kind of did it overnight.
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SPEAKER_04
When?
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SPEAKER_04
Eight years ago when I married my wife, I was vegetarian, but I became plant-based as soon as I...
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married her, and I think that my gut reacted poorly to that quick transition.
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SPEAKER_04
And so whenever anyone s talking about being plant-based or eating healthier, I m always like, do it slowly, because your body s just used to a habit, whether it s good or bad.
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SPEAKER_04
And now I feel great, but it was a transitionary period for sure.
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SPEAKER_04
So I do that, and then I have vinegar before meals, because that regulates the acid internally.
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SPEAKER_04
So that s like mix a shot of vinegar diluted in water,
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SPEAKER_05
Do you take like a lot of protein a day?
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SPEAKER_04
Yeah, I take a lot of protein, but a lot of protein meals, but like natural, natural forms of, um, as much as I can.
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SPEAKER_05
Wow.
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SPEAKER_05
What s your natural protein?
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SPEAKER_04
Well, like I m doing a lot of lentils and dals, like the Indian, the Indian diet generally leads well to that kind of stuff.
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SPEAKER_04
And then I will do things like tofu, which of course, you know, and then not so natural, not so natural forms of protein as well.
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SPEAKER_04
I found, I found these amazing bagels that are protein filled, they re amazing.
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SPEAKER_04
So things like that, just to stock up.
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SPEAKER_04
But I found that eating protein every day has made a big difference.
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SPEAKER_04
The amount of protein that we don t have in our diet is insane.
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And I m not a pro at this, we ve had doctors who ve come on the show and re-educated people.
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SPEAKER_05
Yeah, you re supposed to eat a gram of protein per pound.
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SPEAKER_04
Yeah, and you realize you re like nowhere close.
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SPEAKER_04
Even if you re eating meat, it s hard.
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SPEAKER_04
And so what to speak of anyone who s plant-based.
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SPEAKER_04
Benny, this has been a joy and honor.
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SPEAKER_04
I hope we do a part two.
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SPEAKER_04
I love it.
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SPEAKER_04
I hope there s dinners.
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SPEAKER_04
I hope there s so much more in the works with this relationship.
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SPEAKER_04
I can t wait.
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SPEAKER_04
I appreciate you, man.
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SPEAKER_04
Thank you so much.
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SPEAKER_04
You took us on a whole journey today, and I felt like we got a peek into your mind, which is always my favorite thing to do.
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SPEAKER_04
Thanks.
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SPEAKER_04
I want everyone to know Open Wide is available right now.
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SPEAKER_04
So make sure you go grab it.
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SPEAKER_04
We ll put the link in the caption in the comments and wherever you re viewing.
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SPEAKER_04
Of course, if you don t follow Benny on social media already, please go and follow him across platforms.
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SPEAKER_04
And Benny, thank you so much for showing up for On Purpose today.
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SPEAKER_04
So grateful and deeply appreciated, man.
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SPEAKER_04
Thank you, man.
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SPEAKER_04
Yeah, thank you.
9
SPEAKER_04
If this is the year that you re trying to get creative, you re trying to build more, I need you to listen to this episode with Rick Rubin on how to break into your most creative self, how to use unconventional methods that lead to success, and the secret to genuinely loving what you do.
9
SPEAKER_04
If you re trying to find your passion and your lane, Rick Rubin s episode is the one for you.
9
SPEAKER_01
Just because I like it, that doesn t give it any value.
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SPEAKER_01
Like, as an artist, if you like it, that s all of the value.
9
SPEAKER_01
That s the success comes when you say, I like this enough for other people to see it.
9
SPEAKER_00
For all the parents out there, picture that it s bedtime.
9
SPEAKER_00
You and the kids have been busy all day.
9
SPEAKER_00
You know they re tired, but for some reason they just won t go to sleep.
9
SPEAKER_00
And for this reason, I created the podcast Bedtime History.
9
SPEAKER_00
Bedtime History is a series of relaxing history stories that end with an inspirational message.
9
SPEAKER_00
With over 2,000 positive parent reviews, Bedtime History is one of the top education podcasts.
9
SPEAKER_00
Join me and listen to Bedtime History every Monday and Thursday on iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
9
SPEAKER_03
Imagine you asked two people the same seven questions.
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SPEAKER_03
I m Minnie Driver, and this was the idea I set out to explore in my podcast, Minnie Questions.
9
SPEAKER_03
This year, we bring a whole new group of guests to answer the same seven questions, including Courtney Cox, Rob Delaney, Liz Phair, and many, many more.
9
SPEAKER_03
Join me on season three of Minnie Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts.
9
SPEAKER_03
Seven questions, limitless answers.
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SPEAKER_03
You don t put those inside of you, do you?
9
SPEAKER_02
This is a show about women.
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SPEAKER_03
I mean, you do?
9
SPEAKER_02
Finally, a show about women that isn t just a thinly veiled aspirational nightmare.
9
SPEAKER_02
It s not hosted, not narrated.
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SPEAKER_02
We re just dropping into a woman s world.
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SPEAKER_02
I found out when my dad was gay when I was 10.
9
SPEAKER_02
We were in a convertible on the 405 freeway, listening to the B-52s.
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SPEAKER_02
Looking back, I should have said, this is gay.
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SPEAKER_02
This is already all gay.
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SPEAKER_02
Listen to finally a show on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.