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Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert.
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I m Dax Shepard.
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I m joined by Monica Padman.
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That s us.
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How you doing?
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Pretty good.
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My ear reads.
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You re in it a lot.
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I ve been watching you dig in it with your pinky.
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I know.
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I feel like there s bugs that went in there.
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God, this reminds me of my favorite thing I think I ve told you in the past, and weirdly this, yes, this is the perfect time to say this.
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Okay.
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Because Bobby Lee lets it all hang out.
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Yeah, he does.
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So Bree was in Guatemala, you know about this, and she had a crazy ear infection.
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And then she ultimately finally went to the doctor and the doctor pulled out the most beautiful object I ve ever seen in my life.
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It was like, if you can imagine when they cut off a pretty huge hunk of hard cheese, like out of a cheese wheel,
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It was like, it was big and it was cobalt blue.
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It was impossibly blue.
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No, it was just, it was gorgeous.
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If you look at our faces on that quilt, it was that color.
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It did not look like a color a human being could create.
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Do you think it was something got in there?
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Like maybe that was a rock that got in her ear.
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Or a pen.
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It looks so inhuman, but it was undeniably beautiful.
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It looked like a crazy jewel.
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Did she keep it?
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Yeah, so she came home with this plastic cylinder and we would just lay in bed and stare at the thing and hold it up to the light.
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In fact, I have half a mind to ask her if she still has it.
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What treasure?
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That is a treasure.
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A life s treasure.
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Okay, listen, I had so much fun in this fucking interview.
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I mean, this really was so much fun.
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It was.
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I love Bobby Lee.
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He is so funny and honest.
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Really funny.
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And wonderful.
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And cheers to Robby Rob, Wobby Wob, who has been for a long time saying, like, you gotta get Bobby in.
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He s so great.
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and we finally did, and I m so glad.
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Bobby Lee was on MADtv for years.
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He was in Borderlands, The Dictator, Pineapple Express, and he has two very, very popular and successful podcasts, both Tiger Belly and Bad Friends.
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And alas, he is here today to talk about his new movie, Sweet Dreams.
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So guys, just really hop in a lawn chair and pour some sun tea, because this is a real party.
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Please enjoy Bobby Lee.
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♪ He s an armchair expert ♪
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He s an Archer and Spade He s an Archer and Spade
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I had the same ailment on my gums up until January 1st.
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Oh, really?
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Yeah, I m 100 days off.
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But can I just say something?
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Your gums seem like it s missing the stuff.
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They look unhealthy, don t they?
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You were offered all the things?
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I mean, this guy I ve known for so long, I don t trust him.
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Can I do this like this?
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I mean, I m supposed to say that.
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Oh, crisscross applesauce.
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Is it bad Indian style?
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What does that mean?
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We re just sitting.
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Well, that s what s interesting.
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It begs the question.
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Are they referring to Native Americans or people from India?
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It makes the most sense people from India.
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And then I don t know why that s offensive if they invented that style of sitting.
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I don t think they invented it.
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Exactly.
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I don t think they invented it.
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So it s, I guess, probably relating to how they sit for prayer.
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But you know how people do this?
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This is not China style, is it?
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I don t know.
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No, for sure.
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Oh, maybe.
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Well, look, this is known in social sciences.
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The reason Asians are so good at math is because of rice production, because there s so much math in rice production.
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Are you being real right now?
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I m being dead real.
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Just like Westerners brains evolved because they learned to read from Martin Luther spreading literacy, their brain physically changed.
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So there is lots of science behind the math in the rice production because there s so much math in it.
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You know, can I just say something, Dax?
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Yes.
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Before you podcasted, I thought, he s a good actor.
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He s funny guy.
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And then you started this and it was just like, oh my God, he s smart too.
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And it drives me crazy.
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Why do you do all of it?
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Anyway, I ve always wanted to do this.
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I m so glad I m here.
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And Monica, it was really good to meet you.
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And thank you for having me.
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You got it down?
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What?
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My name.
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Monica.
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Yeah, that s right.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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He practiced before you came up.
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Well, I go, who s that?
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And then I forgot it was Monica.
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And then I go, Monica, Monica in my mind.
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You know what I mean?
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So it s good to see you, Monica.
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It s good to see you, too.
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Well, also, it is a painting of her.
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It s not the most photorealistic painting.
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Now, if you were to confuse that painting...
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That s a bummer, because that s baby Monica.
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I already know that, because I asked Rob, who s that?
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Is that Dax s child?
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Yeah.
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And he goes, it s Monica s baby.
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In some ways, yes.
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Is that not the cutest baby you ve ever seen?
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Genetically great.
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Thanks.
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Yeah, yeah.
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And I m pretty sure the insides are good, too.
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The insides are doing okay.
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But what a beautiful baby.
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I was a cute baby.
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You have a little brother?
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Steve, yeah.
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How much younger?
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He s three years younger, and I m proud of him.
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He has 15 years sober, which is great.
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None of us have kids or anything.
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SPEAKER_00
No, I more meant family disease.
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Oh, really?
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Yes!
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Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Everyone in my family is either sober or they went the other way.
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Let me ask you about this.
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A lot of people think that alcoholism is hereditary, and then some people think it s trauma and things of that nature that turns somebody alcoholic.
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What is your take on it?
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I have heard said, I think Brene Brown said this, that genetics is the gun and trauma s the bullet.
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So I believe there s a genetic predisposition to it, but I also think that if you have trauma and you can no longer self-regulate and you already have this gene, of course that s gonna happen.
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It s a combo.
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Genetics loads the gun and trauma pulls the trigger.
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Oh, that s it.
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Wow.
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Much better.
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So what you re saying to me is I was born Bobby Lee, but I lived with the Asian version of the Huxtables, aside from Bill Cosby.
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Yeah, because that s trauma right there.
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That s trauma, that s right.
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Let me do another family.
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The Cleavers.
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SPEAKER_02
The Cleavers, thank you.
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A lot of repression there.
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The Bunkers.
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Who are they?
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Archie Bunker?
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Oh boy.
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Well, he s abusive verbally.
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SPEAKER_01
He s also racist, right?
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, exactly.
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Yeah, that would be great.
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That wouldn t be good.
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But in a very charming way.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
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What s another TV family that I could do?
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I know one.
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Jean-Luc Picard s son.
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Wait, what?
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Jean-Luc Picard from Star Trek Next Generation.
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Oh, okay.
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Right?
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If he had a son, he s a good guy.
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I was the captain s son.
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I lived on the Enterprise.
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Oh, okay, right.
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I m also mixed with like, I see war, like a Klingon and Romulan.
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You know, I m cultured almost.
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Right.
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Well, hold on.
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You don t feel other.
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You re cultured, but you are also embroiled in war and adrenaline.
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Can we go with deceivers?
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Do you remember them?
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Well, it s my life, but okay.
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Do you remember the Seavers?
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SPEAKER_00
No, who s the Seavers?
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He has since become a very big Christian.
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Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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Remember Kirk Cameron s show?
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Oh yeah, what s that show called?
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Growing Pains.
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They were the Seavers.
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They were the Seavers.
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I think that s the one we land on because they were liberal.
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But Kirk Cameron as a brother?
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Is Kirk Cameron my brother?
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SPEAKER_00
No, he s not your brother.
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Well, not Kirk Cameron.
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The character is your brother.
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But deep down inside, there s still some hardcore.
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SPEAKER_02
No, no, that s not present in Mike Seavers.
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He doesn t come to Christianity until much later in life.
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Well, then why can t I just go back to the Huxtables?
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Because then he s playing Dr. Huxtable.
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He s not Bill Cosby.
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Okay, we re fine.
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Let s go with the Huxtables.
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All roads lead back to the Huxtables.
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Let s go back.
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So if I was a part of the Huxtables, but I had the gene, I wouldn t have been an alcoholic?
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Is that what you re saying?
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Because I had such a great upbringing?
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Well, look, I m about to find out, right?
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Because I have two little kids who have my genes.
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There isn t a break in the cycle that I can see.
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SPEAKER_00
I m about to do that show, Finding Your Roots.
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SPEAKER_00
Maybe we ll find a shepherd that wasn t an alcoholic.
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To my knowledge, there wasn t one.
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So we re about to find out, really.
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Because thus far, at least, my kids haven t experienced the stuff I did.
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Wow.
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Do you lay in bed worrying about it?
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I don t.
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SPEAKER_00
You know, my dad was enormously cool about this.
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Because my dad was sober.
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He got sober when I was 14.
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In 12 steps.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, in AA.
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Wow.
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And he watched me go through the whole ride and clearly knew what was going on.
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And he was so chill about it.
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He s like, look, you know where to come.
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You ve been to meetings with me.
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When you re ready, I know you won t go till you re ready.
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So I m just hanging.
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You know, my mother was terrified, but he had the most chill disposition about it.
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He understands what you need to go through to get sober.
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And he probably feels bad because he knows that you re going to go through a lot of spiritual pain and whatnot.
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But he knows that there s a home and there s a hope for you.
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Unlike my parents, who were old school Koreans, they didn t really speak English.
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They don t know what alcoholism is, even though my dad was an alcoholic.
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My dad kept calling A.A.
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ah.
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Why you go ah?
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He was like a violent rageaholic and then when I went to rehabs in high school They wouldn t really go to the parental like the group therapies and stuff because he just didn t understand it felt uncomfortable Culturally, it s so white to do Greek Greek therapy
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Group therapy.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
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Well, therapy at all is tough.
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But then I think group s even like another level.
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It s like X Games.
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I did group therapy with my dad one time.
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It was called Knees to Knees.
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So I was at the McDonald s Center in La Jolla.
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It s no longer there, but it s a rehab.
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The families come, they all form a gigantic circle in the auditorium, and then there s two chairs in the center of the circle, and a father and a son or a mother and a daughter, whatever, they get in the center of the circle, and they touch knees, and then the son reveals something about their past that their parents don t know.
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So I told my dad that I was molested by a guy with Down syndrome.
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I unfortunately heard you tell this story.
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When I was living in Minnesota.
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SPEAKER_01
Is this made up?
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SPEAKER_01
Is this real?
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SPEAKER_01
No, this is real.
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SPEAKER_02
Okay, okay.
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SPEAKER_02
I got worried.
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It s gonna be hard for us.
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You should hear him trying to tell this story to two other comedians on their podcast.
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And they were prepared to hear him say he got molested.
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They ve braced themselves for it.
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SPEAKER_02
And then he hits them with the Down syndrome.
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SPEAKER_02
And then he hits them with every day for a whole summer.
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SPEAKER_00
And now they think.
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SPEAKER_00
Are you keep adding on?
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SPEAKER_00
Yes.
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SPEAKER_01
Every time we get stable.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh my.
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SPEAKER_00
Okay, so you told your dad.
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SPEAKER_01
And then there was like this pause in the room, and he went... He laughed, and then my brother, my brother and my mom started laughing, and then I started laughing, and then everyone starts laughing.
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SPEAKER_01
It was so weird.
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SPEAKER_00
It s weird, but is it nice?
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SPEAKER_00
It was like you broke some tension.
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SPEAKER_01
It felt good.
1
SPEAKER_01
To get it out, because that was in me.
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SPEAKER_00
It probably would have been worse if everyone started crying.
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SPEAKER_00
Like, wouldn t you have felt even more like, oh, God.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, maybe, I don t know.
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SPEAKER_01
But in retrospect, it was a funny experience, I guess, and memory.
1
SPEAKER_02
Well, yeah, and I think for people on the outside who haven t grown up in a lot of chaos, that sounds crazy.
1
SPEAKER_02
But I definitely think if you re under fire a lot, it s the only option.
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SPEAKER_02
Every family I knew that was in the situations I was in, or all my friends who were divorced parents and stepdads running through or boyfriends that were alcoholic.
1
SPEAKER_02
Everyone had a huge sense of humor about it.
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SPEAKER_02
I don t think you had an option.
1
SPEAKER_01
So we were talking about what causes it.
1
SPEAKER_01
So now I m getting a better understanding about why I think I am who I am.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_01
Thank you so much for clearing.
1
SPEAKER_01
I have thought about it for years and I never thought maybe it could be both.
1
SPEAKER_02
Well, I think everyone wants more than anything just for efficiency and laziness, for everything to be one explanation.
1
SPEAKER_02
There s a chapter in this Malcolm Gladwell book about airplane crashes.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s never one thing.
1
SPEAKER_02
An airplane almost never crashes because the wing broke or the engine went out.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s always four or five things go wrong and it hits critical mass and then it crashes.
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SPEAKER_02
I think we re the same.
1
SPEAKER_02
To try to like figure out the silver bullet of addiction, I think is not realistic.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
How old were mom and dad when they came from Korea, and were they together when they were there already?
1
SPEAKER_01
No, so my dad came first, made it to LA, late 60s, and then my mom s brother-in-law knew my dad s brother.
1
SPEAKER_01
They met through that, but my mom didn t like my dad, because he drank a lot and he was weird.
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SPEAKER_01
Already?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, already.
1
SPEAKER_01
I guess he was stalking her or whatever, so then she moved to Wisconsin.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh my goodness.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then he followed her there.
1
SPEAKER_00
Double down.
1
SPEAKER_01
He doubled down, yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Which in the 60s was romantic, now it s scary.
1
SPEAKER_01
But he showed up with steak.
1
SPEAKER_01
I guess Koreans really like meat.
1
SPEAKER_01
The barbecues are on every block.
1
SPEAKER_01
So he bought this nice piece of steak and brought it to her house, and I guess that won her over.
1
SPEAKER_01
It is romantic.
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SPEAKER_01
Huge port-a-house.
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SPEAKER_00
That makes me sad for her.
1
SPEAKER_00
That it worked that quickly.
1
SPEAKER_01
So my mom, during the Korean War, she witnessed her sister, my aunt, get run over by a military truck.
1
SPEAKER_01
Right?
1
SPEAKER_01
And like, she had to go up to the house, grab rice bags with my grandmother and my grandfather and my uncles and aunts, and they had to pick my aunt up, her body parts.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
How old was she?
1
SPEAKER_00
No, this is awful.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s fine, it s fine, it s fine.
1
SPEAKER_00
See, you would not have done well.
1
SPEAKER_01
We lived through it, we lived through it.
1
SPEAKER_01
How old was she?
1
SPEAKER_01
She was like eight or nine years old.
1
SPEAKER_01
Older sister or younger sister?
1
SPEAKER_01
Younger.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, older, older, older.
1
SPEAKER_01
Then they buried my aunt and then she comes to America and meets my dad who was like this alcoholic, rageaholic, violent guy.
1
SPEAKER_01
Just trauma on top of trauma on top of trauma.
1
SPEAKER_01
Old school immigrants, they get layers of skin to protect their heart.
1
SPEAKER_01
Pachyderms.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
And so when my dad died, she was devastated, obviously, but you could also see weight lifted.
1
SPEAKER_00
Relief, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
It was weird, like she could breathe.
1
SPEAKER_02
She s been attached to a time bomb that went off all the time, and just anticipating their next explosion.
1
SPEAKER_02
How fucking stressful.
1
SPEAKER_01
If I hear a loud noise, I instantly go into trauma.
1
SPEAKER_01
He was one of those explosive guys.
1
SPEAKER_01
You d just be eating with the family, and then he would just overturn the table.
1
SPEAKER_01
Always wanted to do that.
1
SPEAKER_02
Like, sometimes I wish I was a worse person, because I ve seen it in movies, and I have wanted to do it.
1
SPEAKER_02
Me, too.
1
SPEAKER_01
I ve wanted to do it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, right?
1
SPEAKER_02
It seems like the ultimate dad movie.
1
SPEAKER_02
Or the tablecloth thing.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, that s more of a magic trick.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Still, those are two things involving table I ve always wanted to do.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
We could do the latter, no problem.
1
SPEAKER_01
Because that s not as traumatic as the tablecloth.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, that s cool.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, everyone s like, whoa, dad.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
The other one s...
1
SPEAKER_01
He s like, I need alcohol or something to regulate myself.
1
SPEAKER_01
Now, if I m at a coffee shop or whatever and I hear anything, I instantly go into that flight mode.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I m more of a freezer.
1
SPEAKER_01
In fact, it seeped into auditions.
1
SPEAKER_02
Can I ask just really quickly, when dad would get that way, would you try to basically just disappear, like to be invisible so that you didn t catch the wrath?
1
SPEAKER_01
You were always gonna get the wrath.
1
SPEAKER_01
There was no running.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I think I resorted more to freeze.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I would just freeze and take it.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know, I tried to run away from home a couple of times, but I always came back.
1
SPEAKER_02
Would you try to cheer mom up in these moments?
1
SPEAKER_02
Is this the birth of comedy?
1
SPEAKER_01
I m not even, I know it s such a cheesy question.
1
SPEAKER_01
Over time, I built resentment toward her for not really protecting us.
1
SPEAKER_01
So there was a time where I was mad at her as well.
1
SPEAKER_01
And she would also, not close fist punch you, but she would be very physical with you too.
1
SPEAKER_02
Culturally, I only have one other friend I ve talked about this with.
1
SPEAKER_02
Her parents are from Korea.
1
SPEAKER_02
She was actually born in Korea.
1
SPEAKER_02
But she s like, no, no, I got my ass kicked.
1
SPEAKER_02
That s what they do.
1
SPEAKER_02
That s what they do.
1
SPEAKER_02
So do you think maybe culturally, it wasn t even unique to your dad.
1
SPEAKER_01
Maybe bow.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, that s cultural, too.
1
SPEAKER_00
Maybe pick that.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Do something other than that.
1
SPEAKER_01
Right, right.
1
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, it was cultural.
1
SPEAKER_01
And also, they didn t speak a lot of English.
1
SPEAKER_01
Did they feel estranged from you at all?
1
SPEAKER_01
Or obviously, you speak Korean.
1
SPEAKER_02
No, you don t I know like six words.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh my god.
1
SPEAKER_01
I can understand it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like if I watch squid games I don t need the subtitles.
1
SPEAKER_01
Maybe I don t know but I still do you watch physical 100.
1
SPEAKER_02
Are you physical 100?
1
SPEAKER_02
No, this is show.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s a Korean a reality show that I m obsessed with who has the best physique.
1
SPEAKER_02
Is it good?
1
SPEAKER_02
It s incredible They re all Koreans.
1
SPEAKER_02
They re all Korean.
1
SPEAKER_02
Well, there s a couple of whiteys in there
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, really?
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
I m so curious how these whiteys found themselves in Korea in this reality show about bodies.
1
SPEAKER_02
I m very interested in those.
1
SPEAKER_01
Is that on Netflix?
1
SPEAKER_01
It s on Netflix.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m gonna watch it.
1
SPEAKER_02
There s two seasons and it s phenomenal.
1
SPEAKER_02
Okay, physical.
1
SPEAKER_02
But I have a great suspicion that the dubbing isn t at all what they re saying and I really need someone to solve that for me.
1
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay, I ll be the guy.
1
SPEAKER_01
You ll take that on?
1
SPEAKER_01
And me and that person will do it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Also, there s certain words in Korean that you can t even translate into English.
1
SPEAKER_01
Right, there s no comp.
1
SPEAKER_01
There s one word, because me, my friend Gene, and Dumbfounded were at a Korean restaurant the other day, and there s a word called nunchi.
1
SPEAKER_01
Nunchi.
1
SPEAKER_01
Say it with me.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m afraid.
1
SPEAKER_03
We re not allowed.
1
SPEAKER_03
I m so sorry.
1
SPEAKER_02
Nunchi.
1
SPEAKER_02
I want to so bad.
1
SPEAKER_02
I can tell it feels good.
1
SPEAKER_02
And when I m by myself tonight in my shower, I m going to do it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, do it alone.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yes, I m going to do it alone.
1
SPEAKER_01
You re going to love it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s great.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s just the rrrr, like the rrr, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s just growing it out for us.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
Because you want to get the spirit of it before you even get- Dude, you know about words, huh?
1
SPEAKER_02
Dude, you re the best.
1
SPEAKER_02
Hit me one more time.
1
SPEAKER_02
Nunchi.
1
SPEAKER_02
I feel like you re about to draw a sword on me.
1
SPEAKER_01
But it s not a bad word.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s a great word.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, what s it kind of even though noon she is instinct, but it s far more than that.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s about etiquette It s about reading like reading the room.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, reading the room is a part of it knowing your place Yeah, let s say I m going to a red carpet event, which I do off And I m bringing a date who s not in the business right of course try a while them I
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I m trying to wow them.
1
SPEAKER_01
It really works.
1
SPEAKER_01
Red carpets really do it.
1
SPEAKER_02
They re very bright.
1
SPEAKER_02
They get your attention.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then I m maybe taking a photo with somebody that people know, but then if my date goes, can I get a selfie with you?
1
SPEAKER_01
She doesn t know Noonchi.
1
SPEAKER_01
She doesn t know Noonchi.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I see.
1
SPEAKER_01
You go, no Noonchi.
1
SPEAKER_01
But I don t say it.
1
SPEAKER_00
I ll let you say it.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s kind of like social awareness.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s exactly what it is.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh.
1
SPEAKER_01
Social awareness is a part of it as well, right?
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
So nu-chi is a word in Korean.
1
SPEAKER_01
So maybe when you re watching your reality show, some of the words aren t translated.
1
SPEAKER_02
Well, that s true.
1
SPEAKER_02
They re like, there s not even a direct translation.
1
SPEAKER_00
The irony is if we had said that right now on the podcast, we wouldn t have it.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, correct.
1
SPEAKER_02
It would have been a display that we don t have it.
1
SPEAKER_00
We wouldn t be socially aware if we were saying it.
1
SPEAKER_02
I don t understand.
1
SPEAKER_02
Please, Monica.
1
SPEAKER_00
We re not allowed to say the word.
1
SPEAKER_02
Well, you can say the word.
1
SPEAKER_02
Just don t do the accent.
1
SPEAKER_02
You just can t do what I m gonna do in the shower.
1
SPEAKER_03
God.
1
SPEAKER_01
One more time.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Because I want to get it right tonight.
1
SPEAKER_01
Nunchi.
1
SPEAKER_01
Fuck, that sounds so good.
1
SPEAKER_01
That sounds really nice.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Why don t people have nunchi?
1
SPEAKER_02
Well, do you think all Koreans have nunchi?
1
SPEAKER_02
Obviously, the word exists because people don t have nunchi.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, that s true.
1
SPEAKER_02
And that s why they gotta point it out.
1
SPEAKER_02
The bigger question is, why is that so important there that it requires its own word?
1
SPEAKER_02
And I would argue that in a more collectivist mentality, tall poppy s a bigger thing, or individuality, or these things that you would stick out from the group might be a little higher stakes.
1
SPEAKER_02
That makes sense.
1
SPEAKER_02
Whereas here, no nunchi is almost rewarded hourly.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, it is?
1
SPEAKER_02
Don t you see?
1
SPEAKER_02
The person does go get a photo with someone they shouldn t, then they post, and then they get a bunch of attention, and no one s going like, why the, you know?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m going to tell you the worst nunchi, no nunchi story you ve ever heard.
1
SPEAKER_01
This should be a children s book, no nunchi.
1
SPEAKER_01
Actually, that s a good plan.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like, no doubt, but no nunchi.
1
SPEAKER_01
We re from Orange County.
1
SPEAKER_01
We are no nunchi.
1
SPEAKER_01
So you have to be the singer Monica So when I was on that
2
SPEAKER_01
many, many years ago, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
This is probably 2001, 2002.
2
SPEAKER_01
Obviously, you ve been to the up-fronts.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yep.
2
SPEAKER_01
So if you get on a show, right, and it gets picked up, they fly all the networks in one week.
2
SPEAKER_01
Every night is a different network.
2
SPEAKER_01
So Tuesday night s Fox night or whatever, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
And so they fly you out, nice hotel.
2
SPEAKER_01
Sidebar.
2
SPEAKER_01
Go ahead.
2
SPEAKER_02
Funnest flights in the world, because you re there with all these actors you recognize.
2
SPEAKER_02
The best.
2
SPEAKER_02
In fact, if you re really obsessed with celebrity, that would be the move, is just book yourself on a flight to New York, LA.
2
SPEAKER_02
Around that time, you re going to see like seven or eight
2
SPEAKER_02
And you also feel like, oh, am I a part of this?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
2
SPEAKER_02
One of my favorite moments, sorry, another sidebar.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m about to fly to the out front.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m in the first class lounge at LA and Will Arnott happens to have a show on NBC.
2
SPEAKER_02
I have a show on NBC.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then Jason Ritter has a show on NBC.
2
SPEAKER_02
The three of us go into the bathroom.
2
SPEAKER_02
We re peeing at three urinals.
2
SPEAKER_02
Some poor guy in a stall is pooping, I guess.
2
SPEAKER_00
Losing his ass.
2
SPEAKER_02
He farts so loud in the middle of this.
2
SPEAKER_02
And Arnott goes, get some.
2
SPEAKER_02
Like he threw.
2
SPEAKER_02
Get some out Three of us just started laughing so fucking hard, but you re never at the first closet with like ten comedians are on the toilet with you Yeah, wow.
2
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay, so up front.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yes, they are.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I met this girl in a meeting, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
Right, and she was super hot open micro comedian and I thought she was very attractive This is like a month before up front and then she kind of made it seem like maybe there s something like an idiot I m like, hey, do you want to go there?
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh front.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh my god, Bobby.
2
SPEAKER_01
I
2
SPEAKER_00
No, like, okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
This is the worst idea I ve ever heard in my life.
2
SPEAKER_00
She s a comedian.
2
SPEAKER_00
She wanted to go.
2
SPEAKER_01
Precisely.
2
SPEAKER_01
The worst move I ever made in my life.
2
SPEAKER_01
Talk about no nunchi.
2
SPEAKER_01
No nunchi, dude.
2
SPEAKER_01
Right, so now we re at the gala.
2
SPEAKER_02
You re bringing her to events, not just to the hotel on the trip.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes, to the Fox dinner gala.
2
SPEAKER_01
There s one table filled with people from That 70s Show.
2
SPEAKER_01
The other table s from American Idol.
2
SPEAKER_01
Apex TV time.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so I m sitting there and I forgot who, me and Mike McDonald goes, look at your date right now.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh boy.
2
SPEAKER_01
By the way, Michael McDonald s the best person.
2
SPEAKER_01
He s one of the funniest people on planet Earth.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I look and this girl.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh no.
2
SPEAKER_01
Is giving her a business card.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh no.
2
SPEAKER_01
to the president of Fox.
2
SPEAKER_01
Gail Berman.
2
SPEAKER_01
Gail Berman at the time.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and she was a Goliath in the industry.
2
SPEAKER_01
Goliath.
2
SPEAKER_01
She was, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Right, and I see her basically saying, I m a comedian and I ve been doing all these shows, you should check me out.
2
SPEAKER_00
She s shooting her shot.
2
SPEAKER_01
I sprint.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, if I could turn into the Yellow Hulk, I would.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was rage.
2
SPEAKER_01
I grab her, not violently, in a very, like, polite, gentle grab.
2
SPEAKER_02
Hey, they needed to talk to you about something over here.
2
SPEAKER_02
You just got a phone call.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah, something like that.
2
SPEAKER_01
I go, can I talk to you for a second?
2
SPEAKER_02
This is how big Gail Berman is.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s not as if I ve ever met her.
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, right.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m imagining you are there.
2
SPEAKER_02
The 70s show s there.
2
SPEAKER_02
Those are huge stars.
2
SPEAKER_02
You re on year two of Mad TV or year one.
2
SPEAKER_02
You almost feel like you don t even belong.
2
SPEAKER_02
And now your date is cold calling the president.
2
SPEAKER_01
I went from open mic to a TV show.
2
SPEAKER_01
I went from homelessness to getting an apartment.
2
SPEAKER_02
You just took your first first-class flight probably.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yes!
2
SPEAKER_02
It was dreamy.
2
SPEAKER_02
The first hotel you can t park your car in front of the door.
2
SPEAKER_02
There s a lot of firsts.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I gently touch her arm.
2
SPEAKER_01
May I speak to you for a second?
2
SPEAKER_01
And I went into like, what?
2
SPEAKER_01
Fuck are you doing?
2
SPEAKER_01
And she s like, well, I m Canadian, I m just networking.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then I had to spend like another two days with her.
2
SPEAKER_01
She slept on the couch or something.
2
SPEAKER_01
And there was nothing sexual or anything like that.
2
SPEAKER_02
This is my point about America, though, because America is riddled with this lore of people doing exactly what she did.
2
SPEAKER_02
You hear all these stories.
2
SPEAKER_02
I slipped so-and-so my tape while they were eating dinner.
2
SPEAKER_02
Enough of those things worked out that that has fueled a lot of people doing no nunchi all over the place.
2
SPEAKER_01
I just think that instinctually, though, I mean, how is that not ingrained into one s body?
2
SPEAKER_01
For instance, when I was coming up in open mics, I was in San Diego and I was a doorman.
2
SPEAKER_01
And every weekend we would get big headliners to play the weekend.
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, at the time, they were big guys like Carlos Mencia and Pauly Shore and these types of guys.
2
SPEAKER_01
This is who you end up opening for.
2
SPEAKER_01
We opened for them over the weekends.
2
SPEAKER_01
They came up to me and go, hey, you re funny.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then once they start a conversation that I can talk, but in no way would I go up to them out of nowhere and go, hey, I m Bobby.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, that s insane.
2
SPEAKER_00
The audacity.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m on the path.
2
SPEAKER_01
That was ingrained in me not to do that.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I just don t understand why people don t have that.
2
SPEAKER_02
So I m the same as you.
2
SPEAKER_02
This show has complicated that because obviously I need guests at times and I m like, even calling someone who I think would even want to be on the show, I m like, oh God, here we go.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s painful to do that.
2
SPEAKER_02
Get somebody else to do it.
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, we have certain people, but then they can t get to the person.
2
SPEAKER_00
But if it s someone that Dax knows personally, he needs to do it.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yes, and it s very, very hard for me.
2
SPEAKER_02
I burn up inside when I m doing it.
2
SPEAKER_01
I stop doing it.
2
SPEAKER_01
There s no reward worth it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Not only that, I feel like I m stalking my friends.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s the worst feeling, so I just decided to get other people to do it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Aren t there exceptions?
2
SPEAKER_00
Like, what about Brad Pitt, if you were best friends with him?
2
SPEAKER_01
No Brad Pitt.
2
SPEAKER_01
If I had Brad Pitt s phone number, all I would do at night is just stare at it all day.
2
SPEAKER_00
I know, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
I do reread some of our exchanges.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I mean, you re so blessed.
2
SPEAKER_01
What are they?
2
SPEAKER_01
I m melting.
2
SPEAKER_02
They re all about motorsports.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, really?
2
SPEAKER_02
He s my number one.
2
SPEAKER_02
I tell this too often on here, but I know you ll really get a kick out of it.
2
SPEAKER_02
My friend Kareem and I, years ago, we were talking about how much we love Brad Pitt.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I said, this is the level at which I love him.
2
SPEAKER_02
If he and I were like going up to Santa Barbara for the weekend together and halfway there, he s like, shit, I think we got a flat tire.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then pulled over and said like, will you check on the tire?
2
SPEAKER_02
And if I got out and looked at the tire and it was fine, and then he drove away and left me on the side of the road, I would go, what a free spirit.
2
SPEAKER_02
Like there s no amount of abuse that I wouldn t somehow take.
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I know people that know him, and he loves comedy, I heard.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_02
And he s also- Well, look, he like goes and does Dave s show.
2
SPEAKER_01
He did Jackass back in the day.
2
SPEAKER_01
Marc Maron s podcast.
2
SPEAKER_01
He s a supporter.
2
SPEAKER_01
He s just a great guy, but don t ever mention his name again.
2
SPEAKER_01
I just get really kind of juicy.
2
SPEAKER_00
Not in a sexual way.
2
SPEAKER_00
Not in a sexual way.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, it can be sexual.
2
SPEAKER_02
Inevitably, because people know I m so obsessed with him, they ll go like, well, what would you do with him physically?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, what?
2
SPEAKER_00
How far would you go?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, how far would I go?
2
SPEAKER_02
And I think I really would kiss him.
2
SPEAKER_02
Would you kiss him?
2
SPEAKER_02
In what way?
2
SPEAKER_02
What d you make out with him?
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
2
SPEAKER_02
Punks?
2
SPEAKER_01
Punks?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
If he s consisting.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m trying to give you the best.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re going to give me your honest answer.
2
SPEAKER_01
Complete honest.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
Now I m me or am I someone different?
2
SPEAKER_01
No, you re you.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re you.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m Bobby Lee where I m at now in my life.
2
SPEAKER_02
He goes, you guys are hanging.
2
SPEAKER_02
He goes, I would fucking love to kiss you, Bobby.
2
SPEAKER_01
And we re private, we re not out.
2
SPEAKER_01
No, right, you re not at a restaurant.
2
SPEAKER_01
We re in my car.
2
SPEAKER_01
No.
2
SPEAKER_01
No, that s too intimate.
2
SPEAKER_00
You are in public, but no one s looking.
2
SPEAKER_02
We re at the out front.
2
SPEAKER_02
You re at a hike.
2
SPEAKER_02
You re on a hike and there s nobody around.
2
SPEAKER_01
There s an early morning hike.
2
SPEAKER_01
And there s a gigantic tree.
2
SPEAKER_02
You get to the very peak up here in Griffith Park.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m not going to get that high.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, shit, that s right.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I know, actually.
2
SPEAKER_02
Because then you get too out of breath to kiss and you think you do a bad job.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I d be exhausted.
2
SPEAKER_00
Beginning of the hike no one s sweaty yet.
2
SPEAKER_00
I would have to ask questions.
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_02
Go ahead.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m Brad.
2
SPEAKER_02
All right Brad Brad would then go I wanted to kiss you, but then you said hey So we re just hanging I m Brad I need some questions for me.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh parameters have I hung out with him before yes, we re friends
2
SPEAKER_02
Now start referring to me as- Oh no, now this is all a waste.
2
SPEAKER_02
We re friends.
2
SPEAKER_02
We hang out kind of a lot.
2
SPEAKER_02
Dude, what you touched me last night was so funny.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God, thanks.
2
SPEAKER_02
I stole that from someone else.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you did?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
The last time we hiked, I was thinking, I would not mind kissing Bobby.
2
SPEAKER_02
I just want to- I wouldn t mind at all.
2
SPEAKER_02
I think I want to kiss you.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I mean, I ll probably kiss you.
2
SPEAKER_01
I do, hypothetically, you know, I would.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Why are you laughing?
2
SPEAKER_02
You just can t pass up, like, do you know how many women would cut off a finger to experience kissing him?
2
SPEAKER_02
I would do it.
2
SPEAKER_02
I would do it.
2
SPEAKER_00
You have to do it.
2
SPEAKER_02
So, I guess my answer for it has always been, everything up till shirts off, standing kissing.
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay, you and Brad, you guys are on a cruise.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wow.
2
SPEAKER_01
We take a cruise together.
2
SPEAKER_01
The cruise goes down.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, fuck.
2
SPEAKER_01
Right?
2
SPEAKER_01
You guys are the lone survivors.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re on an island.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, Brad seems like he knows everything.
2
SPEAKER_01
So he knows how to filter water.
2
SPEAKER_02
He s made us a shelter.
2
SPEAKER_01
Right, right.
2
SPEAKER_01
There s a shelter.
2
SPEAKER_01
And now, years go by.
2
SPEAKER_02
You guys have beards.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, so he looks just like Legends of the Fall when he s going on a weird boat trip.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you smoke an opium at the bottom of the boat.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
You look like Tom Hanks from Cast Away.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, can I look?
2
SPEAKER_01
Can I look?
2
SPEAKER_01
I wouldn t let him kiss me if I look like that.
2
SPEAKER_02
He deserves better.
2
SPEAKER_01
Too much shellfish.
2
SPEAKER_02
Can t I look like Hemsworth or something?
2
SPEAKER_02
No, you re that guy.
2
SPEAKER_00
You re on the island.
2
SPEAKER_00
You can t work out.
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_02
Now, would you go beyond kissing?
2
SPEAKER_02
I m going to give you a sincere answer.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t think we can know what it s like.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m sincere.
2
SPEAKER_01
Are you being real?
2
SPEAKER_02
I m being real.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re right, I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t know what it s like to have spent an entire year on an island, come to accept that I m never getting off this island, I m with this person, and if I wanna have any sexuality while I m still on planet Earth before I die, it s gonna have to be with this person.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t know what that whole context does, right?
2
SPEAKER_02
You re so right, I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_00
People need intimacy, I think you would and maybe it wouldn t be super visible, but you guys would cuddle
3
SPEAKER_02
Because on islands, it gets really cold at nights.
3
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, cuddling, I d be fine with right out of the gate.
3
SPEAKER_02
My best friend, Aaron, and I will cuddle.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
But if you started getting aroused day two, would you question yourself?
3
SPEAKER_02
Like, why am I getting aroused?
3
SPEAKER_01
Day two is early.
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, I feel very confident in saying I wouldn t get aroused cuddling him.
3
SPEAKER_00
Right away.
3
SPEAKER_00
Day two.
3
SPEAKER_02
Okay, okay.
3
SPEAKER_02
But a year in to this experience, coddling, I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_02
Me either.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I don t even really wanna answer it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Let s leave it at that, we don t know.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that s a TBD.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Tom Hardy, six months.
3
SPEAKER_00
He s your type.
3
SPEAKER_00
Tom Hardy for me, six months.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Is he above Brad Pitt?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
Clint Eastwood, never.
3
SPEAKER_02
No, no.
3
SPEAKER_02
Are you okay?
3
SPEAKER_02
And he says 90-something.
3
SPEAKER_02
I would want to take care of him and nurture him as he gets older.
3
SPEAKER_01
You d feel like you were taking advantage a little bit.
3
SPEAKER_02
A little bit.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
What do they call that?
3
SPEAKER_02
Elder abuse?
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, elder abuse.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
3
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
Stay tuned for a farm chair expert.
3
SPEAKER_02
Back to Oprah.
3
SPEAKER_02
Let s get off the island.
3
SPEAKER_02
But listen, that gal, that s worth exploring.
3
SPEAKER_02
What gal you re talking about?
3
SPEAKER_02
The gal that you took.
3
SPEAKER_00
No Nunchi.
3
SPEAKER_00
No Nunchi girl.
3
SPEAKER_00
Years later, you stop seeing around.
3
SPEAKER_00
I heard she got married, had kids.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, good.
3
SPEAKER_00
She got out of the game.
3
SPEAKER_02
Have you had that sense that girls...
3
SPEAKER_02
want to be with you because they want to be close to comedy and they want to be in the world of it.
3
SPEAKER_02
I feel like she would have confirmed my worst fear if I were you in the way she behaved immediately when she had the opportunity.
3
SPEAKER_02
What would have been going on is not only my fear of now I m going to get kicked out of this party I just got invited to, and I mean that metaphorically.
3
SPEAKER_02
Additionally, fuck, some voice in my head was like, this girl doesn t really like me.
3
SPEAKER_02
She just wants to be kind of closer to the flame.
3
SPEAKER_02
Was any of that happening?
3
SPEAKER_00
At the time it was new because before I got onto MadTV, I wasn t an incel, but it wasn t like I had a lot of options.
3
SPEAKER_01
You weren t dating a ton.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, maybe once a year I would really get lucky and make out with somebody.
3
SPEAKER_00
Because you partied a lot and that helps.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was sober then.
3
SPEAKER_02
I got sober at 17 to the age of 30.
3
SPEAKER_02
First of all, let s take one second to say that that is nearly impossible.
3
SPEAKER_01
So impressive.
3
SPEAKER_02
When I meet these guys who have like 35 years, they got sober when they were 17.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m like in complete awe of them.
3
SPEAKER_02
My sponsor s like that.
3
SPEAKER_02
My sponsor got sober young.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, my old sponsor, same way.
3
SPEAKER_02
And it s so fucking impressive.
3
SPEAKER_02
How does the attic voice in your head not go like, I was a kid.
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t really know about me.
3
SPEAKER_02
I know what it was like to be a pubescent, crazy person living in a crazy household.
3
SPEAKER_00
There s so much we want to talk about.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Let s go back to the girl thing.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then I want to talk about that.
3
SPEAKER_00
Monica, do you have that in your head?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, we got it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Don t rely on Rob.
3
SPEAKER_01
We got it all organized.
3
SPEAKER_00
So your point about, you were saying right now, do you think girls... Well, at that time, did you have that fear?
3
SPEAKER_00
I m single now, and I have been dating.
3
SPEAKER_00
I may have to check off so many things before sexuality kind of occurs.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, and you ve got to like somehow determine... Do they want a story?
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, do they want a story?
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, there are certain things you do.
3
SPEAKER_00
For instance, if I...
3
SPEAKER_00
make out with somebody, I make sure after I leave them, to text them, I had a really good time.
3
SPEAKER_00
They have to go, oh, me too, it was so great to meet, what a great, thanks for dinner, this and that.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, I need that exchange to feel peaceful so they can t lie.
3
SPEAKER_00
Right, right, right, right.
3
SPEAKER_00
So it s weird that now you have to do that.
3
SPEAKER_02
But back to the girl, when that was happening, did you already have that fear or were you like, I don t really care why she s here, I m just happy to be with somebody here?
3
SPEAKER_00
At that time, there was no cancel culture.
3
SPEAKER_00
Those paranoias weren t there.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is self-worth stuff.
3
SPEAKER_00
Am I being used?
3
SPEAKER_00
But Dax, Brad Pitt is being used for his good looks.
3
SPEAKER_02
Great, because I do think that s another way to look at it, which is like people go, do you think she likes you because of this or that?
3
SPEAKER_02
And I m like, I don t really care why someone likes me.
3
SPEAKER_02
I just want someone to like me.
3
SPEAKER_00
Kalilah, my ex, we lived together for 10 years and they re like, she s too hot.
3
SPEAKER_00
She s probably using him.
3
SPEAKER_00
But is that really?
3
SPEAKER_00
Because Kalilah, when I m sick, she makes me soup and takes care of me.
3
SPEAKER_00
When I have food poisoning, I had food poisoning in my car.
3
SPEAKER_00
I shit all over my Prius.
3
SPEAKER_00
She cleaned it.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
3
SPEAKER_00
She still had sex with me, right?
3
SPEAKER_00
So that s not it.
3
SPEAKER_00
There s a love there and there s a care.
3
SPEAKER_02
Or even I was watching you guys do this weird thing where you could either answer a gnarly question or take a shot of ginger.
3
SPEAKER_02
and she was asked to rate your body out of 10.
3
SPEAKER_02
In the sincerity with which, she s like, Bobby, you are a 10 to me.
3
SPEAKER_02
You ve always been a 10 to me.
3
SPEAKER_02
You re still a 10 to me even though we re broken up.
3
SPEAKER_02
I love your belly so much.
3
SPEAKER_02
She like loves Bobby s belly.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I m like, I 100% believe her.
3
SPEAKER_02
I would not have thought that about her just based on what I saw.
3
SPEAKER_00
All the girls that go out with me have that to a degree.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ve been on dates with a beautiful woman and then she ll say,
3
SPEAKER_00
Even in the 70s, my dad used to take me to these Kung Fu film festivals.
3
SPEAKER_00
And you re like, yeah?
3
SPEAKER_00
Just watching them move.
3
SPEAKER_00
I just really like them.
3
SPEAKER_00
I fell in love with Asians.
3
SPEAKER_00
There s always that little kind of a fantasy kind of a thing.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh sure, sure, sure.
3
SPEAKER_00
I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t like it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Why?
3
SPEAKER_01
As soon as they say, I just really like Indian girls, I want you to leave.
3
SPEAKER_01
Then it s not about me anymore.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, but why isn t it just that s what they find physically attractive?
3
SPEAKER_02
No, it s like skin color and the features.
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t understand why that can t be your type I know I understand.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think maybe it s my issue.
3
SPEAKER_00
I like taller women I don t know why but there s like 5 8 5 9 5 10.
3
SPEAKER_00
I love it You can t get enough when I get women my height it never lasts.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh
3
SPEAKER_00
I think when I was a kid, my parents were both five foot.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I was looking at them and as a kid, I m like, oh no, I got to go taller for the family.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh, right.
3
SPEAKER_02
For your future.
3
SPEAKER_00
For the Lee generation.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Let s get taller here.
3
SPEAKER_00
This country, the land of opportunity.
3
SPEAKER_00
If a guy goes, yeah, I m just really into Indian chicks.
3
SPEAKER_00
You don t like it?
3
SPEAKER_01
No.
3
SPEAKER_01
They can think it, but I don t need them to say it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because it immediately becomes, you re just here because of your fetish.
3
SPEAKER_01
But it has nothing to do with me or my personality or anything.
3
SPEAKER_00
That could be the initial attraction, right?
3
SPEAKER_00
But for somebody to hang out with you, they re going to have to like all the other things.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Your personality, income, I mean, just different social standards.
3
SPEAKER_01
They should like those things about me.
3
SPEAKER_01
They re all pretty good.
3
SPEAKER_02
But without making it feel like I m attacking you.
3
SPEAKER_02
You have many reasons why you wouldn t trust someone would like you.
3
SPEAKER_01
Legitimate reasons.
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t know that they re legitimate as much as...
3
SPEAKER_02
If you have easier time believing people like you in general, I don t know that you would be shining a light on all these specific categories.
3
SPEAKER_02
So another thing that Monica, we ve argued about this in the past.
3
SPEAKER_02
She s like, I would never date someone who was a fan of the show because they like me.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s a little bit of a turnoff.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I said, well, Monica, you re not playing a character on this show.
3
SPEAKER_02
You re yourself.
3
SPEAKER_02
If someone s fallen in love with you, like they actually love you.
3
SPEAKER_02
You re showing all sides of yourself.
3
SPEAKER_00
Monica, I want to say something to you.
3
SPEAKER_02
And now to find out, like, if someone thinks the hottest girls in the world are Indian, and then that would even be a turn, it s like, well, you re the number one most attractive type, they think.
3
SPEAKER_02
And they know you from the show, and they actually know you.
3
SPEAKER_02
Those are things, I think, they re a defense, because those are fine things for someone to be attracted to you about.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m dating a girl who lives in Ohio.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
And she DM d me.
3
SPEAKER_00
She had on a thermos my podcast sticker.
3
SPEAKER_00
And we started talking, then we started FaceTiming.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I hang out with her maybe once a month, every other month, because she lives far.
3
SPEAKER_00
There is a comfort level there because she knows my character defects and some of my oddities and my eccentric.
3
SPEAKER_02
You ve already shown her your bad side.
3
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
3
SPEAKER_00
On there.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so she ll go, yeah, I know you don t like that kind of drink.
3
SPEAKER_01
You like that.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, because I don t want to have to audition.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, there s no false advertising.
3
SPEAKER_00
Everything is an audition.
3
SPEAKER_00
I want to be able to do the song and dance and like, oh, is she going to like this?
3
SPEAKER_00
She already likes all my bad shit.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s so much easier.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, like you meet a stranger on a plane.
3
SPEAKER_02
You guys are getting along great.
3
SPEAKER_02
And you re like, well, I guess maybe date three.
3
SPEAKER_02
I tell her like, I m a hardcore addict, man.
3
SPEAKER_02
You re going to find me one day, baby.
3
SPEAKER_02
Here s the playbook.
3
SPEAKER_02
Right?
3
SPEAKER_02
You don t have to do that.
3
SPEAKER_02
You talked about your mistakes with your ex-girlfriend who you still have a show with.
3
SPEAKER_02
You re already owning up your shitty patterns that you do in relationships.
3
SPEAKER_02
Now, I understand if you re playing Rachel on Friends, and the person s in love with Rachel from Friends, and then they meet you, and now you re like, oh fuck, how long before they realize, I m not Rachel.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m much richer.
3
SPEAKER_02
And prettier, I m Jennifer Aniston.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s exactly what it is.
3
SPEAKER_02
I gotta own the fact that I m not in the marginalized class.
3
SPEAKER_02
But if an Indian girl says to me, I love tall white boys, I m like, perfect, that s me.
3
SPEAKER_01
You re like, get in line, so does everyone in the whole world.
3
SPEAKER_02
But some people like fat Korean guys.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, look, I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know what to say.
3
SPEAKER_02
There s one I m suspicious of, but it s not of Indian.
3
SPEAKER_02
So I am suspicious of white guys who have a quote, Asian fetish for girls.
3
SPEAKER_02
That one, I need to ask a few follow-up questions.
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, I m Asian, go ahead.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yes, because my fear in that situation, if it s just aesthetic, great.
3
SPEAKER_02
But if it s that you think Asians are more submissive and you ll be able to be more dominant and get away with more shit,
3
SPEAKER_02
And that s why you like Asians.
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t know that I love that.
3
SPEAKER_02
It was a motivation to have a fetish.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m worried about Asian women that only go out with white dudes.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t want to get canceled, but I feel like there s an elitism or something about it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, I ll tell you what it is because I have this, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
Where you spend your whole life trying to get the attention of the white guy at your high school.
3
SPEAKER_01
The quarterback is often a handsome white guy.
3
SPEAKER_01
That is what starts to become ingrained.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s not about anything other than that.
3
SPEAKER_01
That just becomes like the highest guess.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, because they re holding all the status.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s wrong, but it s what happens.
4
SPEAKER_02
We all want to be validated by the highest status person available to us.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Whether Angelina Jolie s your type or not, you d go on 10 dates with her because you re like, I can t believe she likes me.
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah, I would.
4
SPEAKER_02
Right.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I would 100%.
4
SPEAKER_02
Six months.
4
SPEAKER_01
Six months.
4
SPEAKER_00
Same as top priority.
4
SPEAKER_00
It took me three years to realize it wasn t a match.
4
SPEAKER_00
That status goes a long way.
4
SPEAKER_00
But when I m with white women, though, I have noticed, I m going to say something.
4
SPEAKER_00
So growing up, you know, I m much older than you.
4
SPEAKER_00
How old are you, Monica?
4
36.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m 52.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I was in an era in America where there was a lot of microaggressions with racism.
4
SPEAKER_00
Just little things that white people would say.
4
SPEAKER_02
Well, also I was thinking too, because we re roughly the same age.
4
SPEAKER_02
You re a few years older than me.
4
SPEAKER_02
But you spent your time going through school at like the height of Karate Kid.
4
SPEAKER_02
All these things would pop up where
4
SPEAKER_02
It had to have all been fucked up.
4
SPEAKER_02
It was fine to be kind of overtly dismissive of Asians in the way that the movies were.
4
SPEAKER_00
Long duck dong.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I talked to Getty Wananabe.
4
SPEAKER_00
So when Magnum P.I.
4
SPEAKER_00
was a show, I would reoccur on it.
4
SPEAKER_00
And one day they re like, well, who do you want as a sushi chef in this thing?
4
SPEAKER_00
I go, try to get Getty Wananabe.
4
SPEAKER_00
Is that who played?
4
SPEAKER_00
Long duck dong.
4
SPEAKER_00
Because I just wanted to be around him.
4
SPEAKER_00
I grew up with him, right?
4
SPEAKER_02
And he fucking deserves something.
4
SPEAKER_00
Right.
4
SPEAKER_02
For being the token.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so I m with Geddy.
4
SPEAKER_00
We re sitting around and I go, hey, that role, it blew you up, but it didn t do well for us.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s not a really good image for us.
4
SPEAKER_00
And he goes, you have to understand, Bobby,
4
SPEAKER_00
I m an actor.
4
SPEAKER_00
That was my first audition in like four years with anybody of my type.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then when I showed up at the audition, every Asian guy that s an actor was there, fighting to get this one little thing.
4
SPEAKER_00
And that s why I love Getty Watanabe.
4
SPEAKER_00
I love what he went through, his struggles, because he s such a talented guy.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, that s what sucks.
4
SPEAKER_02
He s objectively insanely funny in the role.
4
SPEAKER_02
Insanely good.
4
SPEAKER_02
Holy smokes, the way he s playing hammered and riding the exercise bike.
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like forget the Asian stereotypes that are happening.
4
SPEAKER_02
The physicality of long, what was it?
4
SPEAKER_02
Long duck dong.
4
SPEAKER_02
Every time I say it, I m like, it couldn t be that bad, is it?
4
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_02
It is long duck dong.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t even, I don t know what.
4
SPEAKER_02
16 Candles.
4
SPEAKER_02
16 Candles.
4
SPEAKER_02
And he gets drunk for the very first time, and then he has sex for the first time, and he has comic relief.
4
SPEAKER_02
We re going back to checking with him at the party.
4
SPEAKER_00
In high school, people would walk by me and say that.
4
SPEAKER_02
Of course.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s what he was trying to say about karate.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s what I was trying to say.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, right, right, right.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I used a dumb example, karate, because there s a bunch of white people.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
So, you know, I grew up with that.
4
SPEAKER_00
There was never a movie where we were the leading man.
4
SPEAKER_00
I ve never seen, back then, an Asian man kiss anybody on any screen, TV, or anything.
4
SPEAKER_00
Right.
4
SPEAKER_00
Not even in, like, a Pepto-Bismol commercial or something.
4
SPEAKER_00
Nothing.
4
SPEAKER_00
Right?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Not much kissing happening.
4
SPEAKER_00
I ve never seen it, okay?
4
SPEAKER_02
Honey, did your diarrhea pass from that Pepto?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s all gone.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, good.
4
SPEAKER_00
Right, right.
4
SPEAKER_00
I did a commercial with Jane Lynch once.
4
SPEAKER_00
Her and I made out on a couch.
4
SPEAKER_00
It was for, like, Booking.com, and I remember going, oh, this would have never happened 20, 30 years ago.
4
SPEAKER_00
No.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I m always very aware.
4
SPEAKER_00
I feel great when that happened, because I m like, oh, I just never knew that this day would come.
4
SPEAKER_00
But anyway, now, because of all those little microaggressions I grew up with, I sometimes, when I m with white girls that are mean to me, I kind of go, why am I in this situation?
4
SPEAKER_00
Is it because I m used to it?
4
SPEAKER_00
And so what I m trying to do is set boundaries and not date people like that.
4
SPEAKER_00
Because I m trying to treat myself better.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s like when I used to have a bad audition.
4
SPEAKER_00
So one time I had this audition in front of Amy Poehler.
4
SPEAKER_00
It was so bad.
4
SPEAKER_00
I froze.
4
SPEAKER_00
And you must have wanted to do so good.
4
SPEAKER_00
We love her.
4
SPEAKER_00
I love her too.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was in my car.
4
SPEAKER_00
I took a bottle of water.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I smashed my head to the point where I was bleeding in my face.
4
SPEAKER_00
Sure.
4
SPEAKER_00
To punish myself for fucking up.
4
SPEAKER_00
Because, you know, my dad would do it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_00
Right?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
I just don t do that anymore to myself.
4
SPEAKER_00
Good.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t put myself in any of those kind of situations.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t punish myself over things anymore, repeatedly.
4
SPEAKER_00
Because I want to try to just have empathy for myself and love myself.
4
SPEAKER_02
I bet you and I have shared this thought where the decency will extend someone in an AA meeting.
4
SPEAKER_02
I ll hear something that they did.
4
SPEAKER_02
And my first thought is, yeah, dude, life s hard and we fuck up and we re going to do better tomorrow and it s fine.
4
SPEAKER_02
And if I do the same thing that that person did, it would be months of self-flagellation and I m a terrible piece of shit.
4
100%.
4
SPEAKER_02
And sometimes I ll go like, as a goal, if you could even be half as nice as you are to strangers at a meeting as you are to yourself.
4
SPEAKER_02
That would be a huge improvement.
4
SPEAKER_02
Why do we do that to ourselves?
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I know.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s brutal.
4
SPEAKER_02
We punish ourselves.
4
SPEAKER_02
And that feels genetic because my daughter, we ve bonded over this.
4
SPEAKER_02
She s a little girl.
4
SPEAKER_02
I ll go, did you ever embarrass yourself?
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh yeah, and we ll tell funny stories we ve embarrassed ourselves.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then she ll go, and then I just, I m so mean to myself in my head afterwards.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m like, me too.
4
SPEAKER_02
I call myself terrible names.
4
SPEAKER_02
She s like, you wouldn t believe what I call myself.
4
SPEAKER_02
But do you tell her to stop doing that or no?
4
SPEAKER_02
Stop is maybe a pipe dream, but you re not alone.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m like that too.
4
SPEAKER_02
And yeah, it blows.
4
SPEAKER_02
In AA, you want to go like, so you should stop drinking.
4
SPEAKER_02
You go like, oh fuck.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, brother.
4
SPEAKER_02
I did the same thing.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like back in the day before Bill met Bob in 1935, he would go like, you need to do this.
4
SPEAKER_00
It wasn t working.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s until he met Bob for the first time where he went,
4
SPEAKER_00
this is what I went through, these are my experiences, and these are the feelings attached to those experiences.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then Bob was like, oh, I relate to you, that s exactly what I go through.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, and then they would go to a hospital, and all they would say is their story.
4
SPEAKER_02
They re not there to go like, you know, this is bad for your liver.
4
SPEAKER_02
The motherfucker s yellow.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
We know it s bad for his liver, he s in the liver ward.
4
SPEAKER_00
Sometimes I think, without those guys meeting, what would I be doing right now?
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I know.
4
SPEAKER_02
There s some bizarre magic to it.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s flawed, I have complaints.
4
SPEAKER_02
They need to update it.
4
SPEAKER_02
I agree.
4
SPEAKER_02
I think we re in an interesting phase of it in its history.
4
SPEAKER_02
There s a call to, I think, make the mistake Christians have made and that Constitutionals have made where it s just like you start revering the beginning of something so much that you re not taking on any new information.
4
SPEAKER_02
Everything should evolve.
4
SPEAKER_02
There s no sacred text.
4
SPEAKER_02
Everything needs a rewrite as more information is known.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like if I didn t address my trauma and do EMDR and see a trauma therapist and do all that kind of work, I don t know if I d be sitting here right now.
4
SPEAKER_02
Totally.
4
SPEAKER_02
I had a friend, thank God, I ll give him a shout out, Kevin.
4
SPEAKER_02
I was going through a ton of stuff a few years ago and he said to me, you know, AA is not going to be enough.
4
SPEAKER_02
with your childhood.
4
SPEAKER_02
Your brain wiring is fucked.
4
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
4
SPEAKER_02
And there s no step for that.
4
SPEAKER_02
You re gonna have to really figure out how to get into your brain a bit.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then I did start therapy in a good way.
4
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, I was hoping it would, because fuck, it does cure so much of your shit.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s great.
4
SPEAKER_02
You do wake up as a person you couldn t have fathomed you d be, like you actually can hear when you re lying to yourself and you can admit to people when you were lying, you can say sorry.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like these things were unimaginable to me.
4
SPEAKER_02
And you do start to think, well, I could probably solve every problem I have with this.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think you can clean up most wreckage through doing the steps.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think there s just certain things that are so deep-seated in your body that it just doesn t work.
4
SPEAKER_00
How do you feel about people in the program without telling their sponsor doing ayahuasca?
4
SPEAKER_02
I say this sincerely, I don t care what anyone does.
4
SPEAKER_02
There are people who use weed in the program that they seem to be fine.
4
SPEAKER_02
There are people that do ayahuasca or they do shrooms.
4
SPEAKER_02
I don t have an opinion on it.
4
SPEAKER_02
All I have is for me, I think we all have a different set of things that would set us off.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m not one to prescribe.
4
SPEAKER_02
Now, if I was working with a dude,
4
SPEAKER_02
And every time he did an edible, I know your story, you took an edible on an airplane ride to Hawaii and you woke up three months later and you re on the verge of dying.
4
SPEAKER_02
So I would say to you, I don t think edibles for you work, but I also think people do it and I just don t have an opinion.
4
SPEAKER_00
My sponsor says ayahuasca, no.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
Which is fine.
4
SPEAKER_00
I love my sponsor, so I m not gonna do it.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I do know a couple of people that are super active in the program that did it a couple years ago.
4
SPEAKER_00
One time, it was a great experience for them.
4
SPEAKER_00
They didn t do other drugs or anything after that.
4
SPEAKER_02
I believe them.
4
SPEAKER_02
I believe them too.
4
SPEAKER_02
I have watched documentaries on ayahuasca where it talks about, in the same way shrooms can as well, your brain starts functioning in a way where it forms new neural pathways and kind of breaks down these super highways we have where you and I, something tiny happens to us and we react like someone has pointed a gun at us.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like I overreact to certain stimuli so dramatically that yeah, if I could do ayahuasca and that part would be over.
4
SPEAKER_02
Now I haven t done it, I would tell you if I did.
4
SPEAKER_02
At the same time, I m also suspicious of you would take something that would fix you.
4
SPEAKER_02
I just think anytime I think I m gonna take something that s gonna fix me, I do have a knee jerk that probably not.
4
SPEAKER_02
That s why I haven t done it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Also, risk reward.
4
SPEAKER_01
For each individual person, you should know, and I think you two do, the likelihood of this going very poorly.
4
SPEAKER_01
And is that worth the reward of, quote, fixing?
4
SPEAKER_02
I guess it depends how much pain you re in.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m not in enough daily pain that I need to experiment with ayahuasca.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m just not.
4
SPEAKER_00
I would have to explore all the other alternatives before I made that decision.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m doing trauma therapy and I do sometimes EMDR.
4
SPEAKER_00
In fact, there are some times where I go away to a place for a week and do like a week worth of psychotherapy, really just try to get in there.
4
SPEAKER_00
If those roads end and I m still, then maybe I would consider it.
4
SPEAKER_02
You re bringing up the best part, and this is what I should have said when you first said that.
4
SPEAKER_02
I don t think anyone should get sober to be miserable and suffer and be suicidal.
4
SPEAKER_02
I don t think
5
SPEAKER_01
who s literally maybe the other option is killing themselves and they re already sober.
5
SPEAKER_01
Who am I to say you shouldn t try that thing?
5
SPEAKER_01
I m not in the judgment game of it all.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t really give a fuck what anyone does.
5
SPEAKER_01
If they re somehow drinking and going to five meetings a week and they go to their job every day and they re married and everyone s happy, well then I don t even know.
5
SPEAKER_04
Then they re probably not an alcoholic.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s not for me to say.
5
SPEAKER_01
I can only say that when I am doing that, I feel morally bankrupt and miserable.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I know guys that are hugely successful and just riddled with the disease.
5
SPEAKER_00
They show up to everything and their family loves them.
5
SPEAKER_00
And they ll even say, yeah, I m a chronic alcoholic.
5
SPEAKER_00
And they can just do it.
5
SPEAKER_00
I look at them, I go,
5
SPEAKER_00
I can t do that.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s the point.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t think there s a moral imperative about being an addict.
5
SPEAKER_01
I think if you are an addict and you re happy and everyone around you is happy, I don t think that s implicitly bad.
5
SPEAKER_01
For me, I m very unhappy and the people around me are sad.
5
SPEAKER_01
But somehow Nicholson, and I don t want to get sued by him, but it appears this dude has gone hard his whole life, and it has worked the fuck out for him.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m jealous of it.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m Gary Busey.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, me too.
5
SPEAKER_01
Right?
5
SPEAKER_01
Are we in a motorcycle accident?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I m Charlie Sheen, dude.
5
SPEAKER_03
Wait, but this gets back to the pin.
5
SPEAKER_03
We re revisiting the pin.
5
SPEAKER_03
So you got sober between 17 and 30.
5
SPEAKER_01
How do we get there?
5
SPEAKER_01
When do you start using?
5
SPEAKER_01
So wait, there s bullying.
5
SPEAKER_01
Dad is violent.
5
SPEAKER_01
I can t really even begin to imagine what it s like to not be communicating with my parents and for them to not be communicating with me.
5
SPEAKER_00
Through time, I have a lot of empathy for them.
5
SPEAKER_00
They both experienced the Korean War.
5
SPEAKER_00
My mom witnessed my aunt.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then my dad never went to school.
5
SPEAKER_00
He was a street kid.
5
SPEAKER_00
He was kind of in gangs and stuff.
5
SPEAKER_00
Started a great business.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, later on when he came to America.
5
SPEAKER_00
So, you know, there is a little bit of empathy there.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I was born into the household.
5
SPEAKER_00
My parents had money, so we lived in affluent areas.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then we moved to San Diego from Minnesota when I was 11.
5
SPEAKER_00
I just was in so much pain.
5
SPEAKER_00
So my parents had a refrigerator in the garage, and my mom would stock it for my dad.
5
SPEAKER_00
Beers, other liquors, and he drank so much that I was just able to go in there.
5
SPEAKER_00
And they would never notice.
5
SPEAKER_00
No.
5
SPEAKER_03
And you were 11.
5
SPEAKER_00
And also, I m small.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
So, like, a beer, a beer and a half, two beers, would just obliterate me.
5
SPEAKER_00
And give you relief.
5
SPEAKER_00
Relief from it.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I remember just laying in bed, drunk.
5
SPEAKER_00
I would hide the cans and just being, ugh.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, like, the pressure was finally off.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
God, I know.
5
SPEAKER_00
The problem was, I was outside my house one day, and this skateboard kid,
5
SPEAKER_00
flipped over his board, and he started chomping up meth.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was like 11 or 12.
5
SPEAKER_00
I walked up to him, I go, I didn t even ask what it was, I was like, can I have some?
5
SPEAKER_00
At 11?
5
SPEAKER_00
At 11, 12.
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, I guess then when you were 11, that s 82.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s everywhere.
5
SPEAKER_04
He does fast math.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s everywhere.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s incredible.
5
SPEAKER_01
My family s from rice production.
5
SPEAKER_00
It literally was rampant in San Diego at the time.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, wow.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
So ever-present, and it was easy to get to.
5
SPEAKER_01
You could order a truck of Sudafed, no one would ask a question.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then I just remember, oh, this is great.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then smoke weed and I would steal money from my parents and get weed, meth, acid.
5
SPEAKER_01
Did you also like that it allowed you to join a group of people quite easily?
5
SPEAKER_01
Because that s the other thing people leave out is a lot of early addicts were also quite lonely and it s a pretty turnkey group of friends and a non-judgmental group of friends.
5
SPEAKER_00
I always only had one guy that I would hang out with.
5
SPEAKER_00
Even later in life when I did relapse, I m a loner user.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t go to bars, I m just in a hotel room, trapped.
5
SPEAKER_00
Getting darker and darker.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, dark.
5
SPEAKER_00
One time Andrew Santino came to my hotel room once.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was blackout drunk and he walked in and I had poo all over my body, just kind of like shaking.
5
SPEAKER_00
He remembers that.
5
SPEAKER_00
But when I was 17, I got sober.
5
SPEAKER_01
Did your parents initiate that or did you say, I needed help?
5
SPEAKER_01
They didn t know what- They just thought you were American.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
5
SPEAKER_00
who has long white hair, he has tattoos, like a biker guy, but spoke fluent Korean.
5
SPEAKER_00
He became my sponsor when I was a junior in high school, and I stayed sober from then till 30, until I got on MADtv, and then I relapsed.
5
SPEAKER_01
Okay, great.
5
SPEAKER_01
Back to really just one last thing.
5
SPEAKER_01
You have this little brother.
5
SPEAKER_01
Steve.
5
SPEAKER_04
How much?
5
SPEAKER_01
Three years.
5
SPEAKER_01
You re getting blasted.
5
SPEAKER_01
You knew that was happening to you, and I have to assume you had to have known it was happening to your little brother.
5
SPEAKER_00
I took the brunt of it because my brother abided by the rules.
5
SPEAKER_00
So he would do everything he could to not get in trouble.
5
SPEAKER_00
So he took the straight A route.
5
SPEAKER_00
He took the, I m in sports and activities and made friends with people.
5
SPEAKER_00
I took the other route, which is interesting, but we both experienced trauma, but his trauma, he lashes out outwardly.
5
SPEAKER_00
So he s easy to snap and fight and get into physical confrontations.
5
SPEAKER_00
I go within.
5
SPEAKER_00
I punish myself.
5
SPEAKER_00
So that s the difference between us two.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s a great relief to me because I was thinking probably even more heartbreaking for me than the abuse, taking it myself.
5
SPEAKER_01
If I was unable to help my little sister through that, that would have been way worse for me.
5
SPEAKER_01
So I m glad Stevie wasn t also adding to the inferno that was holding Bobby Lee.
5
SPEAKER_00
Thank God.
5
SPEAKER_00
Although he did get some of it, but my mom especially.
5
SPEAKER_00
One time she came to my room and it was like two in the morning and my brother and I slipped in the same room.
5
SPEAKER_00
And she opened her mouth and she had a tooth missing and she was bleeding.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then my mom in Korean goes, help me with the door.
5
SPEAKER_00
Right.
5
SPEAKER_00
So my brother and I and my mom barricaded.
5
SPEAKER_00
It was like two in the morning.
5
SPEAKER_00
And when I talk about it now, it s not as impactful because I ve done EMDR on this one incident.
5
SPEAKER_01
You ve disconnected.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I can talk about it, but I just remember it just being like, are we gonna die?
5
SPEAKER_00
When you wake up abruptly and you see things like that, it sucks.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s war.
5
SPEAKER_02
It sucks.
5
SPEAKER_01
Fuck the event itself.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s the notion that that can happen at any time that fucks you up, I think.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like once mom comes in the room once at 2 a.m.
5
SPEAKER_01
with the tooth out of her mouth, your logical assumption is when will that happen again?
5
SPEAKER_01
Probably soon.
5
SPEAKER_01
And you ll just never have peace of mind after that.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s a possibility.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yes, this is now an option on planet Earth is that mom comes in missing some teeth and we gotta fucking barricade ourselves from the wild boar out in the living room.
5
SPEAKER_01
It creates a permanent sense of unrest forever.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know what I do, Dax?
5
SPEAKER_00
I just realized this.
5
SPEAKER_00
I not only close my door in my bedroom, I put stuff in front of the door.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like a chest and another chair.
5
SPEAKER_00
I have a big thing with the door closed too and my wife s like, we have kids down the hall.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, every man for themselves.
5
SPEAKER_01
They should lock their door, we should lock our door.
5
SPEAKER_01
No, not lock, but I want to at least hear the door get opened.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
What is that?
5
SPEAKER_01
Nicotine spray.
5
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
5
SPEAKER_01
Look at that Copenhagen.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you re using the little bandits.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, little bandits.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, little cute little bandits.
5
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so you get on MADtv, you make money.
5
SPEAKER_01
Back then, it was, like, sketch money.
5
SPEAKER_01
But you ve got, like, 22 paychecks coming.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s true.
5
SPEAKER_01
Were you making pretty good living as a stand-up at that point?
5
SPEAKER_00
No, but I went from no money to... Well, I did this IBM commercial, so I had some money from that.
5
SPEAKER_00
60 grand on that?
5
SPEAKER_00
No, I made 350.
5
SPEAKER_04
Wow.
5
SPEAKER_04
And a fucking commercial.
5
SPEAKER_00
Those were the days.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
5
350.
5
SPEAKER_00
It was a campaign for IBM.
5
SPEAKER_00
Joe Pitka directed it.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know, it was pretty good.
5
350.
5
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, that doesn t happen anymore.
5
SPEAKER_00
They don t do that anymore.
5
SPEAKER_00
But back then you would see people go, I bought a, you know, I bought something.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I bought an IBM.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I get on mad and getting a weekly paycheck.
5
SPEAKER_00
I have my own apartment now and I bought a car So that s cool.
5
SPEAKER_00
But what happened was, you know, I don t I ve talked about this so much something happened the first couple of weeks of mad where I really hurt my feelings and I Just instantly relapsed after 13 years Wow after the insult.
5
SPEAKER_04
Was it a racial thing?
5
SPEAKER_00
No, it was I
5
SPEAKER_04
You don t have to share it if you don t want to.
5
SPEAKER_00
No, it was just somebody from the show that had some power who outwardly said that he doesn t think that I m funny.
5
SPEAKER_00
And it hurt my feelings.
5
SPEAKER_00
No offense to the guy, you know?
5
SPEAKER_00
No offense to the guy?
5
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, what?
5
SPEAKER_01
You re right.
5
SPEAKER_01
You don t think someone s funny.
5
SPEAKER_01
You don t think I m funny.
5
SPEAKER_01
That is not an assault on anyone.
5
SPEAKER_01
But you re already feeling like you don t belong there.
5
SPEAKER_01
And he confirms your biggest fear.
5
SPEAKER_00
Also, I had never been on a TV show before.
5
SPEAKER_01
You re also the first Asian to be on a sketch show.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
You re like, when is the door going to open up and mom s coming in?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, number one, I don t know what a jib camera is.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what a mark is.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know how to vocalize in front of a live audience.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know anything.
5
SPEAKER_00
So you re learning all that shit.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m from stand-up, so I ve never done a sketch class.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you haven t acted.
5
SPEAKER_00
I ve never written a character.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know any of this shit.
5
SPEAKER_00
So imagine the pressure.
5
SPEAKER_00
I have to kill this.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then you overhear that somebody there who has some power doesn t think that I m funny.
5
SPEAKER_00
That hurt me.
5
SPEAKER_00
And so I went out.
5
SPEAKER_00
and then the next two years were just painful.
5
SPEAKER_00
Did you go out drinking?
5
SPEAKER_00
No, so I couldn t sleep.
5
SPEAKER_00
That night, when I heard that a friend of mine, Paul, had some Valiums, so I took about two Valiums.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I go, get me bottles.
6
SPEAKER_01
You re back to the little boy in the bedroom on two beers.
6
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then I start taking it during the day.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then I m like, what else?
6
SPEAKER_00
So then Vicodin was the thing.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I was taking like 20 to 30 a day.
6
SPEAKER_00
It didn t even work.
6
SPEAKER_01
When I tell people I was taking 30 plus a day.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m like, what do you mean?
6
SPEAKER_01
I m like, after the first four, they don t even work.
6
SPEAKER_01
They don t work.
6
SPEAKER_01
You take five at a time thinking like, well, that might get me back to that initial.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s the worst.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s the worst.
6
SPEAKER_01
I tell people this all the time, like, go ahead and be a drug addict, but I m telling you, skip that one.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s such a fucking waste.
6
SPEAKER_01
You can always get too drunk.
6
SPEAKER_01
Coke works.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
Meth works.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
Vicodin does not even work.
6
SPEAKER_00
But when it did work, Dax, it was great.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, there s a minute it s great and you taste it.
6
SPEAKER_00
You have a feeling where you re like, this is an amazing feeling.
6
SPEAKER_01
At that same time, I was in the growlings and I was eating quite a bit of Vicodin.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I d go to this dude s house.
6
SPEAKER_01
Coker was his name, was the dealer.
6
SPEAKER_01
And he had the bottles that the pharmacy had.
6
SPEAKER_01
And he had dozens of them.
6
SPEAKER_01
I don t know what the count of those bottles was, but a thousand or something.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I d go, oh, I need 100.
6
SPEAKER_01
And he d eyeball it.
6
SPEAKER_01
It d be like 150.
6
SPEAKER_01
I mean, that s how free they were in 2002.
6
SPEAKER_01
I should have known Coker back then.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Damn it.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m glad you didn t.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I had to go through my friend Paul.
6
SPEAKER_00
But anyway, second year in, I would get so sick if I didn t have it.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s a sickness I don t ever want to experience again.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s like your spine is about to snap.
6
SPEAKER_00
Your insides are rattling.
6
SPEAKER_00
The relapse four years ago, it took a month before I felt right.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
At our age, going out.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh God.
6
SPEAKER_00
Dude, if I eat a lot of cheese, I feel terrible.
6
SPEAKER_00
I know.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like your body is going, we can t do this anymore.
6
SPEAKER_00
No, we re weak.
6
SPEAKER_00
We re old.
6
SPEAKER_00
We re not doing this.
6
SPEAKER_01
Do you have any autoimmune issues?
6
SPEAKER_00
What does that mean?
6
SPEAKER_01
Autoimmune disease.
6
SPEAKER_00
There s a trillion of them.
6
SPEAKER_00
I happen to have.
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t think I have any.
6
SPEAKER_00
Sorry.
6
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
6
SPEAKER_00
Monica, do you drink?
6
SPEAKER_02
Probably too much.
6
SPEAKER_00
Are you seeing anybody?
6
SPEAKER_02
No.
6
SPEAKER_00
So you re single.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m single.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m drinking.
6
SPEAKER_00
Doing it all.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I do drink.
6
SPEAKER_02
I don t think I m an alcoholic, but I do like drinking.
6
SPEAKER_00
I like going on dates with women when they have a glass of wine.
6
SPEAKER_00
I want somebody to be able to just do what they do.
6
SPEAKER_02
It gets so habitual, though.
6
SPEAKER_02
I get into phases.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m sort of entering one where I feel like I m back in this habit where it s part of the day.
6
SPEAKER_02
Finish work or you re working on work and you have a glass of wine and it just becomes part of it.
6
SPEAKER_02
And after a while, I do think like, when was the last time I didn t?
6
SPEAKER_01
Well, I could tell you, Bobby, because we speak the same language.
6
SPEAKER_01
She has a frequency that maybe has a question mark on it, but she doesn t get hammered, ever.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s not like she ever will drink four glasses of wine.
6
SPEAKER_02
Sometimes.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
6
SPEAKER_02
But rare.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s not like every night it becomes four glasses.
6
SPEAKER_00
In the mornings, you ve never done it.
6
SPEAKER_02
Well, I ve had, like, mimosas.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, if you re having a sundae with the girls.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, Maui or whatever.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, sure, sure, sure.
6
SPEAKER_02
But no, I m not, like, waking up.
6
SPEAKER_02
I want to go.
6
SPEAKER_02
No, I m not waking up and pouring wine or drinking in the morning.
6
SPEAKER_02
I don t have anything like that And there s a part of me that is like if I did that d be easier.
6
SPEAKER_02
I would know that was an actual problem This is so gray.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, hers is very innocuous.
6
SPEAKER_02
I think it s fine
6
SPEAKER_01
Bobby you would love this moment Monica and I had we were one time driving through this neighborhood and I went and grabbed a Perrier can out of her cup holder we re in her car and I go to take a sip and she screamed no and my first thought was oh there s alcohol in here and she had spit in it
6
SPEAKER_01
But I said, I assumed there was alcohol in it.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then she said, wouldn t you be so alarmed that I had alcohol in a Perrier thing?
6
SPEAKER_01
And I go, no, I observe your life.
6
SPEAKER_02
I don t see any wreckage.
6
SPEAKER_01
You re very dependable.
6
SPEAKER_01
You re not moody.
6
SPEAKER_01
Actually one thing, anything of it.
6
SPEAKER_01
She couldn t believe that.
6
SPEAKER_01
Well, yeah, I wouldn t either.
6
SPEAKER_02
What?
6
SPEAKER_02
You guys, if you re in a car and someone has a Perrier that they ve replaced with alcohol.
6
SPEAKER_00
It could be a great reason.
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t know the circumstances why that Perrier is there, you know what I mean?
6
SPEAKER_00
It could be somebody else.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, from last night.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yes, you wanted to have one on the way to the bar.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s already.
6
SPEAKER_01
You made a vodka Perrier.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s fun.
6
SPEAKER_01
Keep it in the can.
6
SPEAKER_01
The cops won t know.
6
SPEAKER_01
That doesn t mean you re an alcoholic.
6
SPEAKER_01
You feel like you can be loose when you re behind the wheel.
6
SPEAKER_02
If I was around anyone with that, I would think they had a problem.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s just so funny, the evolution of all what happened, which is like, I took a sip of her spit, but then it transferred immediately into this crazy debate where she was more troubled that I wouldn t be troubled that she had alcohol in there.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it was a mess.
6
SPEAKER_01
That one four minute stretch might summarize our entire existence.
6
SPEAKER_02
For real.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
Stay tuned for more farm fire experts.
6
you
6
SPEAKER_00
Now Jax, why four years ago, I ve always wanted to ask you, did you go out?
6
SPEAKER_00
There s a long version and a short version.
6
SPEAKER_00
I ll try to do a medium version.
6
SPEAKER_01
I had broken my arm.
6
SPEAKER_01
I had a prescription for Vicodin and Kristen handed them out to me and I decided I would not take those when I traveled back to Detroit because I was going to see my dad who was dying of cancer and she wouldn t be there to administer the Vicodin.
6
SPEAKER_01
So while I was with my dad and he had all these Percocets, I said, you know what?
6
SPEAKER_01
I have a prescription for Vicodin at home.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m going to take some of these Percocets.
6
SPEAKER_01
Makes sense.
6
SPEAKER_01
That was eight years into being sober.
6
SPEAKER_01
I had a total meltdown.
6
SPEAKER_01
Kristen ended up coming to Detroit and surprising me.
6
SPEAKER_01
Did he pass?
6
SPEAKER_01
Two months later, he did.
6
SPEAKER_01
But again, here s the thing where like when I read about you and your dad and your recent relapse, it s like, I would have told you I m handling that whole experience fine.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m flying home once a week to deal with his thing.
6
SPEAKER_01
The room s full of AA people.
6
SPEAKER_01
I would tell you that it wasn t really having an impact on me, but I did that thing and no one will like this.
6
SPEAKER_01
My dad and I did sit in his living room, looking out over the lake and we were both on Percocet and we re both sober.
6
SPEAKER_01
I don t hate that I had that moment with my dad.
6
SPEAKER_01
I d never party with my dad, but we were both just kind of sitting there enjoying the thing.
6
SPEAKER_01
Next day, I m overwhelmed with guilt and fear.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God, I ve relapsed.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m going to have to reset my day.
6
SPEAKER_01
Kristen comes in.
6
SPEAKER_01
I confessed to her what I did.
6
SPEAKER_01
I took this and I wasn t prescribed that and blah, blah, blah.
6
SPEAKER_01
And she s like, look, it s fine.
6
SPEAKER_01
You re here.
6
SPEAKER_01
I have that prescription.
6
SPEAKER_01
You re not going to do it again.
6
SPEAKER_01
And you keep it moving.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, okay.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I kept it moving.
6
SPEAKER_01
But that was almost like when those owls that the falconer flies, they re only supposed to eat the food from the trainer.
6
SPEAKER_01
If they catch a mouse one time, danger.
6
SPEAKER_01
They re going to want to hunt again.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
Because I had that experience and really it was fine.
6
SPEAKER_01
And opiates were never really my thing.
6
SPEAKER_01
Over the years, I break a lot of stuff.
6
SPEAKER_01
And when I would use opiates, I was tricky.
6
SPEAKER_01
So she would administer them, but I also would maybe not take them at night so I could save up.
6
SPEAKER_01
And in the morning, I could take three times the dosage.
6
SPEAKER_01
So we re in a very gray area sporadically for several years.
6
SPEAKER_01
I certainly don t think I need to come in and say I need a new date, but I m also being a little tricky when I have them prescribed.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
6
SPEAKER_01
Then, in rapid order, I break my hand, all the bones across it, I get all these pins in it, I get surgery.
6
SPEAKER_00
Wait, wait, why are you breaking your arms?
6
SPEAKER_00
What the fuck is going on?
6
SPEAKER_01
I m in a motorcycle racing off-road stuff doing that.
6
SPEAKER_01
No So I get all these pins and then I get a pretty healthy dose of real good opiates for a while Almost immediately after I shatter my shoulder my ribs my thing on a motorcycle.
6
SPEAKER_01
No, I have multiple surgeries now I m on a lot of opiates what was very misleading about the opiates compared to the other stuff is like if I drink you will know in one second because
6
SPEAKER_01
Because second I m drunk, I m gonna get coke.
6
SPEAKER_01
And when I get coke, I do it for three days.
6
SPEAKER_01
There s no version where I don t do it for three days.
6
SPEAKER_01
There d be no hiding.
6
SPEAKER_01
In the most conventional sense, it s unmanageable.
6
SPEAKER_01
This was very weird.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m on opiates.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m still doing the podcast.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m still very responsive and present with my family.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I m going, this is weird.
6
SPEAKER_01
This isn t very unmanageable.
6
SPEAKER_01
This is fine.
6
SPEAKER_01
Other than I know,
6
SPEAKER_01
You have to keep upping your dosage because you get used to it so quickly.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like, I m not dumb.
6
SPEAKER_01
I know that that s an issue.
6
SPEAKER_01
At this point in your mind, did you know you relapsed?
6
SPEAKER_01
I think I still had plausible deniability at that point.
6
SPEAKER_01
I wasn t ready to accept that.
6
SPEAKER_01
It was when I started buying them illegally.
6
SPEAKER_01
I was like, okay, now we re definitely doing something.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then that lasted for a couple months.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then I decided I have to quit, and I started to try to do it on my own.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then I was visibly going through detoxes, and then I copped to the whole thing.
6
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s just a sneaky sucker, huh?
6
SPEAKER_00
So when I relapsed after 17 years,
6
SPEAKER_00
I was doing my friend Sam Tripoli s show at the main room, and his show was sponsored by a weed company.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I have 17 years of sobriety.
6
SPEAKER_01
You already fucked up on MADtv, you got sober again, and now you have 17 years again.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
6
SPEAKER_00
I did 13 and then 17.
6
SPEAKER_00
For me, it s always, I just stop going to meetings and stop calling my sponsor.
6
SPEAKER_00
And this is years.
6
SPEAKER_00
Because you think you can do it.
6
SPEAKER_00
15, 16 years.
6
SPEAKER_00
Don t even think about this stuff.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s a long time.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
So I m sitting there, and this guy that owns this weed company goes, hey, you know, we have a package when people do the show.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I go, I m sober.
6
SPEAKER_00
He s like, oh, cool, but I have a CBD thing.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I go, what s a CBD thing?
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what it is.
6
SPEAKER_00
What do you guys stand for?
6
SPEAKER_00
And he goes, this oil has 1% THC in it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Just to activate the CBD.
6
SPEAKER_00
Right.
6
SPEAKER_00
But if you just do the dosage, you re not going to feel it.
6
SPEAKER_00
So I drank the whole thing.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yes, of course.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I got buzzed.
6
SPEAKER_00
So I went back next week, because my stomach hurt, because you re not supposed to drink that.
6
SPEAKER_00
Of course.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s all oil.
6
SPEAKER_00
So my stomach really was in pain.
6
SPEAKER_00
So I go, hey, do you have one that s like 50%?
6
SPEAKER_00
It started getting better.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then I started getting 99% THC, 1% CBD.
6
SPEAKER_00
And obviously, I had relapsed.
6
SPEAKER_00
And it was just that easy.
7
SPEAKER_01
Did you know at that point when it was 99%?
7
SPEAKER_00
I think when I drank that whole bottle for that 1%, I knew.
7
SPEAKER_00
There s something really strange about this.
7
SPEAKER_01
I think a lot of people who have relapsed will relate to this.
7
SPEAKER_01
You re distracted at first with the thought of just making sure no one knows.
7
SPEAKER_01
You forget that you didn t ever get sober for anyone else.
7
SPEAKER_01
You got sober because you were miserable.
7
SPEAKER_01
But at some point in sobriety, I started telling myself this thought, well, if no one knows, and I m focused on them, and then again, deciding to ignore, like, well, I know, and I can t really live that way.
7
SPEAKER_01
First thought is, can I get away with it?
7
SPEAKER_01
But you ignore the fact that like, you know.
7
SPEAKER_00
The problem is the eight years of real sobriety you had, that never goes away.
7
SPEAKER_00
So that s in your mind and your heart.
7
SPEAKER_01
You know now.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I was sad and missed that purity I felt.
7
SPEAKER_01
That first eight years, there was nothing on my report card that you could have said was tricky.
7
SPEAKER_01
And then I had several years of just that was in the back of my mind.
7
SPEAKER_01
I still only had them when they were prescribed to me.
7
SPEAKER_01
All these other ways I would justify it, but it never had that super clean feeling that those first eight years had.
7
SPEAKER_00
There are moments in pure sobriety that it s just the most joyous I ve ever been.
7
SPEAKER_00
I know.
7
SPEAKER_01
When you have those days, you re like, why don t I recognize I am so much happier this way?
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I know the freedom and also your belief that everything s going to work out.
7
SPEAKER_00
You re not looking into the future and going, what if this happens and this happens?
7
SPEAKER_00
You re just really in the present moment, just like.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m here, I m free, and I have peace.
7
SPEAKER_00
Those occasions are rare, but I never had them throughout my whole life.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, when you go like, I don t need anything to feel okay, is the most miraculous feeling you can have.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s amazing.
7
SPEAKER_01
Because you really, for so much of your life, are convinced you can t feel okay without something.
7
SPEAKER_00
Especially growing up, going through all the experiences.
7
SPEAKER_00
I was never taught these tools and this way of living.
7
SPEAKER_00
There was no internet.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m just in this violent house of chaos, surviving.
7
SPEAKER_00
Do you want to talk about the movie there?
7
SPEAKER_01
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
7
SPEAKER_01
We re getting there.
7
SPEAKER_01
By the way, this is about the time I would always start talking about the movie.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
Really?
7
SPEAKER_00
We re a long-ass show.
7
SPEAKER_00
We always do two hours.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s insane.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
What is your show generally?
7
SPEAKER_01
One hour.
7
SPEAKER_01
One hour and you re out.
7
SPEAKER_00
In and out.
7
SPEAKER_00
Congratulations.
7
SPEAKER_00
On your show.
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh, thank you.
7
SPEAKER_01
On Bad Friends.
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh, thank you so much.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s enormous, right?
7
SPEAKER_01
I mean, come on, you re the king.
7
SPEAKER_01
Well, I don t know that I m the king, but I- Das is the king.
7
SPEAKER_01
Give him a round.
7
SPEAKER_01
I m genuinely happy for you and Andrew so much.
7
SPEAKER_01
You guys have a wonderful living off of doing podcasts, right?
7
SPEAKER_00
Obviously him and I both had decent careers before it, but the fan base when it comes to podcasting is a completely different kind of relationship you have with them.
7
SPEAKER_00
When I see them in the streets, it s not weird.
7
SPEAKER_00
I love them so much.
7
SPEAKER_00
I just don t know why you don t do it on video.
7
SPEAKER_00
We know why.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, we do know why.
7
SPEAKER_01
All right.
7
SPEAKER_00
I ll tell you the assets of it, and then you tell me the cons of it.
7
SPEAKER_00
I ll give you the pros, and let s have this debate.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
Right now.
7
SPEAKER_00
Let s settle this once and for all.
7
SPEAKER_00
I still believe mine s the right way.
7
SPEAKER_00
I think yours is the right way.
7
SPEAKER_00
I think Theo s is the right way.
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh, all right, Dad.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m not anti.
7
SPEAKER_00
Let me do my pros first.
7
SPEAKER_00
Okay, okay.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you don t do your cons yet.
7
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
7
SPEAKER_00
So, number one, you re going to reach a broader audience.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yes, for sure.
7
SPEAKER_01
And definitely more males.
7
SPEAKER_01
Males love consuming things on YouTube.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s a very male-dominated platform.
7
SPEAKER_01
I already kind of feel what your cons are by you saying that.
7
SPEAKER_00
I agree with you.
7
SPEAKER_00
That s very sneaky that you did that just now.
7
SPEAKER_00
No.
7
SPEAKER_00
No.
7
SPEAKER_00
What s my word?
7
SPEAKER_00
How about you not say anything until I do my throats?
7
SPEAKER_01
I forgot my word already.
7
SPEAKER_00
No nunchi.
7
SPEAKER_00
No nunchi.
7
SPEAKER_00
I can do it right now.
7
SPEAKER_00
Alright, so number one, a bigger audience.
7
SPEAKER_00
Number two, it s more money.
7
SPEAKER_00
And number three, it becomes more like a TV show almost.
7
SPEAKER_00
When you have guests, it s like the reoccurring and the sitcom.
7
SPEAKER_00
I already feel like I ve lost the thing.
7
SPEAKER_00
No!
7
SPEAKER_00
I m drowning.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m drowning.
7
SPEAKER_00
I think one of your cons is going to be like, yeah, well, your guests won t be as vulnerable, but you can be vulnerable with the cameras on as well.
7
SPEAKER_01
You can.
7
SPEAKER_01
I can.
7
SPEAKER_01
We go to AA.
7
SPEAKER_01
We re used to being stared at saying crazy stuff.
7
SPEAKER_01
We ve had a bunch of episodes and they are among our best ones that I am certain wouldn t have happened if they had a camera pointed at them.
7
SPEAKER_01
I think there s a magic.
7
SPEAKER_01
There s two things I would say to push back.
7
SPEAKER_01
A, I love other people s video stuff.
7
SPEAKER_01
I think Theo s show is so fucking great.
7
SPEAKER_01
I just watched you on it again this morning.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s so fucking funny.
7
SPEAKER_01
I just adore him.
7
SPEAKER_01
I love that.
7
SPEAKER_01
I think that we want to get the conversations we have if people saw a camera pointed at them.
7
SPEAKER_01
One.
7
SPEAKER_01
You don t know that yet though.
7
SPEAKER_01
Totally.
7
SPEAKER_01
I m guessing at that.
7
SPEAKER_01
Two.
7
SPEAKER_01
I don t like people being distracted by how people look.
7
SPEAKER_01
I don t want them to have to go through hair and makeup and I don t want people watching like, oh yeah, she looks pretty good or she doesn t look pretty good or she must ve got her eyes done or her chin lift.
7
SPEAKER_01
I want you to be listening to what s in this person s soul and not distracted by evaluating how they look.
7
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you re cringing at the notion of that?
7
SPEAKER_00
What I want to say to you is you won the argument because I ll tell you why.
7
SPEAKER_00
I ll tell you why.
7
SPEAKER_00
I think I feel far more relaxed this experience because usually I m so aware of the time.
7
SPEAKER_00
Like, okay, we ve got to be at 45.
7
SPEAKER_00
But this time I literally went, I think we did 45 and I looked and we did double that.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yes, because it s a state of flow.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m still gonna stay on video.
7
SPEAKER_01
I love video.
7
SPEAKER_01
And you re doing much more comedy than we are.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s different types of shows too.
7
SPEAKER_01
My third thing I want to say is the singular auditory experience to me is such an antidote to the fucking stimuli that we re overwhelmed with.
7
SPEAKER_01
So, like, I do it.
7
SPEAKER_01
I listen to this show.
7
SPEAKER_01
I listen to other shows that are only audio.
7
SPEAKER_01
I now can t hear any other thing.
7
SPEAKER_01
I enter this weird kind of sacred space.
7
SPEAKER_00
I listen to This American Life when I lay in bed.
7
SPEAKER_00
How great is that?
7
SPEAKER_00
Right?
7
SPEAKER_00
I love Ira.
7
SPEAKER_00
I listen to the Moth Stories podcast, and they re not on video.
7
SPEAKER_01
Radiolab.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I lay in bed, and I close my eyes.
7
SPEAKER_00
And if those two things were on video, I don t think I would see it.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s also the intimacy.
7
SPEAKER_01
There s a lot of intimacy and you block out every other thing.
7
SPEAKER_01
Or at least for me, when I m working out listening to a podcast or I m hiking, that s actually white noise.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I m like in another time and space.
7
SPEAKER_01
But when I m watching stuff, I m also looking at my kids, I m looking at the room.
7
SPEAKER_00
Here s another argument though.
7
SPEAKER_00
People listen to my podcast too.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m just giving them a second option.
7
SPEAKER_00
Absolutely.
7
SPEAKER_01
But the gas part.
7
SPEAKER_00
The gas part is a big.
7
SPEAKER_00
You re absolutely correct.
7
SPEAKER_00
I think you want it.
7
SPEAKER_00
I think you re better, brighter than me, right?
7
SPEAKER_00
Literally, you won.
7
SPEAKER_00
This conversation, my mind is completely turned around.
7
SPEAKER_00
I came in with this, like, I m going to convince them.
7
SPEAKER_00
You re going to liberate them.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m going to liberate them, and I failed miserably.
7
SPEAKER_00
I think you re right.
7
SPEAKER_00
I want to say congratulations, and this is amazing.
7
SPEAKER_00
So I m here because I m promoting a movie I did.
7
SPEAKER_01
No, but it s actually a very easy segue because the movie that you re here to promote, Sweet Dreams, is about sobriety.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
I ll be honest with you.
7
SPEAKER_00
When I was shooting this thing, I didn t know.
7
SPEAKER_00
You know, sometimes you re on a set and you re like, I don t know.
7
SPEAKER_01
You mean you don t know how it s going to turn out and you don t even know what movie you re in because both happens.
7
SPEAKER_00
No, I knew what movie I was in, I just think this might not be good.
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.
7
SPEAKER_00
Because of the parameters, because of the low budget.
7
SPEAKER_00
Because it s a softball movie as well, I thought the stakes seemed not high enough.
7
SPEAKER_00
You would show up and there was like not a lot of people in the stands.
7
SPEAKER_00
It was more guerrilla filmmaking and I just didn t know the tone really.
7
SPEAKER_00
But I trusted Elijah and his notes and his direction.
7
SPEAKER_00
But last week I saw the movie.
7
SPEAKER_00
And also, I ve been in some movies, I ve never seen myself on the big screen.
7
SPEAKER_01
You haven t.
7
SPEAKER_00
A long time ago, I was in Harold and Kumar, and I went to that screening.
7
SPEAKER_00
I remember seeing my big, gigantic Korean head on the screen.
7
SPEAKER_00
Like, look at that bobble head.
7
SPEAKER_00
I literally had, like, a visceral negative kind of experience, and I ran out of the theater.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s never nice.
7
SPEAKER_00
Like, look at that bobble head.
7
SPEAKER_00
And so I never did.
7
SPEAKER_00
But this one, I sat through it because it was about sobriety.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I watched it, and I have to say, Dax,
7
SPEAKER_00
Number one, I think it s the best movie I ve ever seen when it comes to portraying AA meetings.
7
SPEAKER_00
Okay, because it s always a disaster when they do it.
7
SPEAKER_01
Everyone s so serious and saccharine.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s in a gymnasium.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s always a circle of some sort.
7
SPEAKER_01
And in a gym.
7
SPEAKER_00
I ve never been to a meeting in a gym.
7
SPEAKER_00
Me neither.
7
SPEAKER_00
Ever in my life.
7
SPEAKER_00
Tens of thousands of meetings.
7
SPEAKER_00
I ve been to churches.
7
SPEAKER_01
I ve been to people s houses.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, even like schools I ve been to.
7
SPEAKER_00
And they re always like, you know that line in the big book, it says, we are not a glum lot.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah, right.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s always a glum lot.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yes, the person s always delivering the monologue, please release my family from this jail.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so this is the first movie where I was watching it and there was a couple of scenes between Jay Moore s in it, you know, so Jay plays Johnny s sponsor.
7
SPEAKER_00
Johnny Knoxville.
7
SPEAKER_00
There are scenes between them doing a sponsor-sponsee kind of conversation where I went, oh, that felt real.
7
SPEAKER_00
They got it.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I don t know if I ve ever seen it done right.
7
SPEAKER_00
Neither.
7
SPEAKER_00
That s great.
7
SPEAKER_00
There s a lot of laughter and joy.
7
SPEAKER_00
I ve walked out of the meetings going, that was like better than a play or a party or whatever, right?
7
SPEAKER_00
That was fun.
7
SPEAKER_00
And that s never portrayed.
7
SPEAKER_00
And because Lige, the director, is a member of the program.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
He s outwardly says it.
7
SPEAKER_00
Well, good.
7
SPEAKER_00
If he says anything.
7
SPEAKER_01
Can I say it?
7
SPEAKER_01
If he has, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so when we were shooting these a meetings, you know, all the background were people from his men s meeting.
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh, awesome, right?
7
SPEAKER_01
Perfect.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s perfect, right?
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, a spattering of actors, but everyone I know from the room, right?
7
SPEAKER_01
And they re giving the real reaction, right?
7
SPEAKER_00
They weren t in a circle.
7
SPEAKER_00
They were kind of disheveled.
8
SPEAKER_00
Everyone s so fucking unique in a way.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
And there are guys with a lot of time there too.
8
SPEAKER_01
So when I m watching it, I m like, I think you got the tone really right.
8
SPEAKER_01
And also, you know, obviously there s some things I have problems with, but I think in general, if you want to watch a movie that betrays people getting sober,
8
SPEAKER_01
This is pretty real.
8
SPEAKER_00
They did not give me a screener.
8
SPEAKER_00
I only got to watch the trailer, but I would love to see that because of course, every time I see AA on TV, I m like, ooh, who would want to go to a meeting?
8
SPEAKER_01
It s Leo Vaughn s first movie.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s Chelsea Lynn who plays trailer trash Tammy online.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s her first movie.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, the cast is wild.
8
SPEAKER_00
Moe Hammer, Kate Upton, Gaeta, who I love them.
8
SPEAKER_00
fucking love.
8
SPEAKER_00
Did you talk to him at all?
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
I love Gata.
8
SPEAKER_00
Tell me about Gata.
8
SPEAKER_01
He s an anomaly.
8
SPEAKER_00
You know, he s really bipolar, right?
8
SPEAKER_01
That s really bipolar.
8
SPEAKER_01
He had drugs and alcohol in his family.
8
SPEAKER_01
His parents both died from it.
8
SPEAKER_01
But Gata is just a kind, warm guy.
8
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I m not familiar with his music.
8
SPEAKER_01
Right.
8
SPEAKER_01
So it s great.
8
SPEAKER_01
I stick with The Clash and The Velvet Underground.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s pretty much my wheelhouse.
8
SPEAKER_00
That s a nice
8
SPEAKER_00
Zone for you.
8
SPEAKER_00
Sometimes Pixies.
8
SPEAKER_00
We could share a road trip together with that playlist.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
You know, Joy Division, what not.
8
SPEAKER_01
Dismiss.
8
SPEAKER_01
New Order.
8
SPEAKER_01
Dude, I m getting half hard right now.
8
SPEAKER_00
Psychedelic furs a little bit.
8
SPEAKER_01
If you were on an island, dude.
8
SPEAKER_00
A little modern English.
8
SPEAKER_00
That should have been part of the question.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s like, you re on an island, it s you and Brad Pitt, but also is there any music?
8
SPEAKER_00
Because that would make a big difference.
8
SPEAKER_01
Well, I know that Brad likes the same kind of music I do, because I know he s a huge Radiohead fan.
8
SPEAKER_01
Jeff Buckley.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh, love Jeff Buckley.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
So I think we would have related on that.
8
SPEAKER_01
Also, one last thing about Brad Pitt.
8
SPEAKER_01
I saw him in a Coen Brothers movie.
8
SPEAKER_01
Burn After Reading?
8
SPEAKER_01
Burn After Reading.
8
SPEAKER_01
And my brother and I both admit, it probably is one of the best comedic performances of any actor I ve ever seen.
8
SPEAKER_01
He s so funny in that fucking movie.
8
SPEAKER_01
Him on the treadmill.
8
SPEAKER_00
If it were anyone else, I d be mad.
8
SPEAKER_00
Why?
8
SPEAKER_00
Well, like when Timberlake hosted Saturday Night Live and I was like, oh, come on, this guy s one of the best hosts of all time.
8
SPEAKER_00
He never did sketch comedy.
8
SPEAKER_00
He s also a Timberlake, he can sing like that?
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
What am I going to do?
8
SPEAKER_00
I know, I know, I feel that.
8
SPEAKER_00
I was in the growings, I can t host it.
8
SPEAKER_01
I know.
8
SPEAKER_01
You see guys that can do it all and you just kind of go, I can t do nothing.
8
SPEAKER_00
I ve been thinking that a lot about Walton Goggins.
8
SPEAKER_00
Who is that?
8
SPEAKER_00
You know Walton Goggins.
8
SPEAKER_00
Did you watch Vice Principals or Righteous Gemstones?
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I love Righteous.
8
SPEAKER_00
So he s Uncle Baby Billy.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wow.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
But he s also the best dramatic actor on planet Earth.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m watching something right now where he s like a fucking noseless cowboy and I m like, how can this guy be- Fallout?
8
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
8
SPEAKER_00
I love the game.
8
SPEAKER_00
Wait till you see the fucking show.
8
SPEAKER_00
You play the game?
8
SPEAKER_00
No, never played it.
8
SPEAKER_00
Didn t even know it was a game when I was watching it.
8
SPEAKER_01
How have you not played the game?
8
SPEAKER_01
I don t play anything.
8
SPEAKER_01
How are you not?
8
SPEAKER_01
Play it the fucking game.
8
SPEAKER_00
I know, I know.
8
SPEAKER_00
Now I want to because the show s so good.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s one of the greatest games, RPGs of all time.
8
SPEAKER_01
Rob, have you played it?
8
SPEAKER_01
Have you played it?
8
SPEAKER_01
No.
8
SPEAKER_01
You guys are fucking idiots.
8
SPEAKER_00
What a waste of your breath to ask Monica if she s played it.
8
SPEAKER_01
So Bethesda, who makes role-playing games.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, they re one of the producers.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so they did Elder Scrolls, which is like Skyrim and Oblivion, the series of games.
8
SPEAKER_00
You love games, I m finding out.
8
SPEAKER_00
That wasn t even one of my questions.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m a part of the human race.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s a part of pop culture.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s great.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you re just plugged in.
8
SPEAKER_01
So Jordan Peele, one time years ago, when we were broke, we were at a GameStop and he go, yo, man, you got to play Morrowind, which is an elder scroll.
8
SPEAKER_01
And ever since he recommended it, I ve been into Bethesda.
8
SPEAKER_01
But my point is, is that Fallout, you don t have a PlayStation.
8
SPEAKER_01
Don t have any system, no.
8
SPEAKER_01
Why are you getting so nervous right now?
8
SPEAKER_01
You re acting weird.
8
SPEAKER_00
Well, I just, we were on such a good run there with psychedelic furs and modern English.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, I understand.
8
SPEAKER_00
So how many episodes are you in?
8
SPEAKER_00
I have 15 minutes left of the finale.
8
SPEAKER_00
We interviewed Jonah Nolan, and so I got the screeners, I know.
8
SPEAKER_01
When that show was in pre-production, I called my agent and I go, I don t care, I ll be background.
8
SPEAKER_01
Get me on the show.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I couldn t get anything.
8
SPEAKER_00
They should use you because there s really fun little, just last night Fred Armisen pops up.
8
SPEAKER_01
You don t know shit about Fallout, that piece of shit.
8
SPEAKER_01
So anyway, Fallout producers, I ll be background.
8
SPEAKER_01
I don t care, I ll do anything.
8
SPEAKER_01
I never get to do cool shit, but anyway, let s just move on.
8
SPEAKER_01
So let me ask you something about Fallout.
8
SPEAKER_01
So how much of the show is in vault life?
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh, great question.
8
SPEAKER_01
I would say 30% of it.
8
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so second question.
8
SPEAKER_01
Is there 1950s music in it?
8
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
8
SPEAKER_00
So one of the coolest things is the aesthetic of it is retro futuristic.
8
SPEAKER_00
That s what the game is.
8
SPEAKER_00
It is awesome.
8
SPEAKER_00
All the TV sets are from the 50s.
8
SPEAKER_01
Is there a blonde bobblehead in it?
8
SPEAKER_01
Is there like posters with a guy in a vault suit, a cartoon drawing, and he has blonde hair or whatever?
8
SPEAKER_00
That detail may have escaped me.
8
SPEAKER_01
Is the vault door a circle?
8
SPEAKER_00
Yes, it s a circle, but then it also has like a sprocket wood.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, sprocket wood.
8
SPEAKER_00
So it can roll.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh, fuck.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, on the track.
8
SPEAKER_00
Are there ghouls in it?
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
He s vulnerable.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m gonna watch it.
8
SPEAKER_00
You re gonna flip.
8
SPEAKER_00
What are you talking about, Walt, for again?
8
SPEAKER_00
We were talking about people that were really good at both things.
8
SPEAKER_00
And Brad was really funny.
8
SPEAKER_01
You know what you re good at?
8
SPEAKER_01
What?
8
SPEAKER_00
You re a deceiver.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s a weird compliment.
8
SPEAKER_00
You re a great deceiver.
8
SPEAKER_01
I ll tell you why you re a deceiver.
8
SPEAKER_01
In my mind, I m like, oh, well, I can talk about the movie and I ll get the out of here.
8
SPEAKER_01
Right?
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh, but no, no, no, no, no.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s not how I play.
8
SPEAKER_01
You re very good at going, let s go this way and that way.
8
SPEAKER_01
So all of a sudden I m talking about something that has nothing to do with the movie.
8
SPEAKER_01
You know, but I m not going to play your games anymore.
8
SPEAKER_00
Nor should you.
8
SPEAKER_01
You re a deceiver, and I m not going to do this, all right?
8
SPEAKER_00
You know, we re here to talk about sweet dreams.
8
SPEAKER_00
In theaters 4-12-24 and on VOD 4-16.
8
SPEAKER_00
I was about to read that cast we got kind of interrupted, but Johnny Knoxville s in it.
8
SPEAKER_00
How d you get on with PJ?
8
SPEAKER_00
Because I have a funny story.
8
SPEAKER_00
When I interviewed him, I told the story.
8
SPEAKER_00
I just felt like he never liked me.
8
SPEAKER_00
I would try to be friendly to him many times, and I think maybe he s too cool for me.
8
SPEAKER_01
Dax, I want to say something.
8
SPEAKER_01
I do the same thing.
8
SPEAKER_01
I have these stories in my head, right?
8
SPEAKER_01
That a certain actor or somebody in the business or even Netflix, like I do this thing where Netflix hates me.
8
SPEAKER_01
The institution of it, right?
8
SPEAKER_01
When in reality, they don t even think about me.
8
SPEAKER_01
And it s like that actor and then you meet the guy and they re like, I ve always loved you.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I spent three years of my life thinking about them every day.
8
SPEAKER_01
Something happened yesterday morning.
8
SPEAKER_01
So last week, there s a comic, I don t want to say his name, I love him now.
8
SPEAKER_01
But we grew up together in comedy and we were always kind of rivals in a weird way.
8
SPEAKER_01
And then when my podcast started blowing up a little bit, I started talking a little shit.
8
SPEAKER_01
And so anyway, I hadn t seen this guy in 15 years.
8
SPEAKER_01
And he was at the comedy store, talented guy.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I saw him and I went, Hey!
8
SPEAKER_01
And I hugged him and I reached my hand out to his wife and I go, hi, so-and-so.
8
SPEAKER_00
Hi, Brenda.
8
SPEAKER_01
Hey, Brenda.
8
SPEAKER_01
Right?
8
SPEAKER_01
And she didn t shake my hand oh Well good for her in my head.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m like active over man.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and in my head I m like because I m trying to really be in sobriety and I want to make amends and make it right and
8
SPEAKER_01
I put my hand back, I hugged him, and I walked away, and I went into shame.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yes, of course.
8
SPEAKER_01
So then I wrote him a message the next day, and I go, over the years, I might have said some things I regret.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m so sorry.
8
SPEAKER_01
You know, if you want to meet for coffee, I m willing to do that.
8
SPEAKER_01
And so he goes, I m fine, but thanks, right?
8
SPEAKER_01
Then yesterday morning, I get a DM from his wife.
8
SPEAKER_01
Brenda.
8
SPEAKER_01
Brenda.
8
SPEAKER_01
She goes, I didn t do that.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
8
SPEAKER_01
She goes, I didn t see your hand.
8
SPEAKER_00
She didn t even know.
8
SPEAKER_01
She goes, I didn t even see your hand.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
I didn t even have made amends.
8
SPEAKER_01
I made amends for no reason.
8
SPEAKER_00
I feel so much better.
8
SPEAKER_00
I feel so much better.
8
SPEAKER_01
But I do that to myself where I perceive something, then I believe it to be completely true.
8
SPEAKER_01
Fear, false evidence appearing real.
8
SPEAKER_01
And you and I share the same thing, I believe.
8
SPEAKER_00
Coming in here, I immediately assume, like, we ve had limited interactions, but I feel like I ve always really enjoyed any time I ve seen you.
8
SPEAKER_00
Did you have good feelings about me?
8
SPEAKER_00
Or did you have any story about me?
8
SPEAKER_00
Be honest, Bobby.
8
SPEAKER_00
So, yeah, I thought maybe that you didn t like me.
8
SPEAKER_01
What?
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, in my head.
8
SPEAKER_01
Out of nothing?
8
SPEAKER_00
No, I ll tell you why.
8
SPEAKER_00
Tell me why.
8
SPEAKER_00
Because I should have had you on earlier?
8
SPEAKER_01
No, no, that s not what it is.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that s what I just thought.
8
SPEAKER_00
No, that s not what it is.
8
SPEAKER_01
That, to me...
8
SPEAKER_01
I don t know why you re bringing this up, it s weird.
8
SPEAKER_01
But let s be, let s.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh, this is great.
8
SPEAKER_01
It is great?
8
SPEAKER_01
I love it.
8
SPEAKER_01
All right, getting me on earlier, I know the level of guests you get.
8
SPEAKER_01
You don t have a lot of comics.
8
SPEAKER_01
You get a lot of huge actors.
8
SPEAKER_01
I get it, man.
8
SPEAKER_01
Me and Andrew, we ve always talked very highly of it.
8
SPEAKER_01
Like, watch, he s killing it.
8
SPEAKER_01
So one time, I know it s in my head.
8
SPEAKER_01
By now talking to you.
8
SPEAKER_01
I can t wait to hear this.
8
SPEAKER_01
For the last hour and a half.
8
SPEAKER_01
So I was on a show called Animal Practice.
8
SPEAKER_01
It was a sitcom.
8
SPEAKER_01
And you were on a show that was in the same area.
8
SPEAKER_01
I know this because I think you knew the Russo Brothers.
8
SPEAKER_00
At Universal?
8
SPEAKER_00
Or at Warner Bros?
8
SPEAKER_00
You was at Paramount.
8
SPEAKER_00
Well, this is what s great is I ve never worked on Paramount, but go ahead.
8
SPEAKER_00
But you were a guest star or something, because Community was there.
8
SPEAKER_00
Did you ever guest star on Community?
8
SPEAKER_00
I didn t.
8
SPEAKER_01
You were there, though.
8
SPEAKER_00
Okay, great.
8
SPEAKER_00
I was on there a lot.
8
SPEAKER_01
I know it was you.
8
SPEAKER_00
I have shot commercials and stuff there, so I could have been, yeah, yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so anyway, you were behind the monitors.
8
SPEAKER_01
I don t know why you were there, but you were standing right behind me.
8
SPEAKER_01
Right.
8
SPEAKER_01
All right, and I remember turning I go.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh my god, that s Dax Shepard.
8
SPEAKER_01
I know you it wasn t Joe McHale, right?
8
SPEAKER_00
Right, right.
8
SPEAKER_01
It was Dax Shepard Can I ask really quick how many years ago this was it must have been 15 years ago.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wow.
8
SPEAKER_01
Okay, very long way back.
8
SPEAKER_01
I ve held this resentment And we re turning around going hey Dax and You didn t respond to me like you were looking at the monitor
9
SPEAKER_02
I guess, watching the scene or something.
9
SPEAKER_02
And in my head, I was like, oh, he doesn t like me.
9
Oh, man.
9
SPEAKER_02
I carry that with me.
9
SPEAKER_02
this whole time.
9
SPEAKER_01
Listen to me.
9
SPEAKER_01
I m so sorry that that happened.
9
SPEAKER_01
I didn t do anything.
9
SPEAKER_01
But hold on.
9
SPEAKER_01
I don t have any memory of that.
9
SPEAKER_01
I have other memories of genuinely adoring you and we have mutual friends.
9
SPEAKER_01
And then Rob always, I m not even clear how you and Rob know each other so well.
9
SPEAKER_01
I started this career.
9
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
9
SPEAKER_02
There would be no Rob without me, right?
9
SPEAKER_02
And you know this to be true, fuckface.
9
SPEAKER_01
No, he is a big, big Bobby Lee fan.
9
SPEAKER_01
Talks about you all the time and adores you.
9
SPEAKER_02
Can I tell you how I made him?
9
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
9
SPEAKER_02
Will you admit to it?
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_02
I was doing a live standup show and I had Chris Wachowski.
9
SPEAKER_02
You were doing his show.
9
SPEAKER_02
I did his show.
9
SPEAKER_02
I did Chris Wachowski s show.
9
SPEAKER_02
And then you came to one of my shows and you said, can I take photographs of my life?
9
SPEAKER_02
And Rosenbaum was on my show.
9
SPEAKER_02
So you became friends with Rosie.
9
SPEAKER_02
And the next thing I know, you re producing podcasts.
9
SPEAKER_02
The next thing I know, oh, you re Dax s guy, right?
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_02
And now Rachel Bielson.
9
SPEAKER_02
and all these fucking gigs, right?
9
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, I fucking get that.
9
SPEAKER_01
I knew it by every joke that he came to.
9
SPEAKER_01
I m sorry, I didn t do it.
9
SPEAKER_02
Rob, I already gave you compliments and you have a skillset and I admire you.
9
SPEAKER_01
You know what the greatest thing of it, because I know that that s the beginning of he and Rosenbaum, that he approached Rosenbaum, he was like, you should have a website and you should have this.
9
SPEAKER_01
Here s a self-starter in a way that I respect so much, which is like, I m humble, let me build this website for you, let me take pictures, you don t have anyone taking fun pictures of you,
9
SPEAKER_01
offering a service, asking for nothing.
9
SPEAKER_01
It leads to a podcast with Rosenbaum.
9
SPEAKER_01
I go to Rosenbaum s podcast.
9
SPEAKER_01
We both know Rosenbaum.
9
SPEAKER_01
He can t make cereal in the morning.
9
SPEAKER_01
I m like, how s this thing run so well?
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh, it s gotta be that guy.
9
SPEAKER_01
And then I said, Rosie, could I use him as well?
9
SPEAKER_01
And now we re here.
9
SPEAKER_01
His version of getting to here, I love.
9
SPEAKER_01
What s your version?
9
SPEAKER_02
That s my version.
9
SPEAKER_02
I give a lot of credit to you.
9
SPEAKER_02
It s so crazy.
9
SPEAKER_02
It s crazy that you say that because obviously Dax had no idea.
9
SPEAKER_02
You re now a deceiver.
9
SPEAKER_02
And now you re doing shadow play and I don t like it Most recently Bobby back to your video being great.
9
SPEAKER_01
I watch all these clips on Theo s clips I see you on all these video podcasts in a hundred percent of time.
9
SPEAKER_01
I m like Bobby Lee is so fucking funny and
9
SPEAKER_01
and so open, and so pleasant, and can play like no one can play.
9
SPEAKER_01
You just bounce into all these different little ecosystems, and every time you deliver, and I just literally look at you with great affinity.
9
SPEAKER_00
Can you hear it, the comments?
9
SPEAKER_02
Okay, Monica, I m gonna say this, and I m gonna make a statement right now, and let it forever be true.
9
SPEAKER_02
I know from now on,
9
SPEAKER_02
for the rest of my life that you guys are all friends, not even acquaintances anymore.
9
SPEAKER_02
We ve shit, for real, because you and I never had deep conversations.
9
SPEAKER_02
We didn t get to do this ever.
9
SPEAKER_02
We never did this, but I feel like from now on in life, every time I see Dax anywhere, there s going to be pure love.
9
SPEAKER_02
Always.
9
SPEAKER_02
But I did not feel that yesterday.
9
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh man, I love everyone that s sober.
9
SPEAKER_01
You gotta be a real piece of shit for me to not feel a bond with someone.
9
SPEAKER_01
Like, so soon as I knew too, that we were the same, I m always rooting for you and I feel an immediate kinship with you.
9
SPEAKER_02
I m sorry, I ve just told you that, I already told you that, okay, okay.
9
SPEAKER_02
I had it wrong, but it s so funny that it s always the case.
9
SPEAKER_02
Whatever going on in this fucking sick mind of mine, there are narratives and storylines that aren t even true that I believe, and it s insane.
9
SPEAKER_01
We must have gotten it right at some point where we got so confident in these stories we tell, right?
9
SPEAKER_01
I mean, there had to be some moment of proof that we were right.
9
SPEAKER_02
Are they true because my narrative was Netflix doesn t like me because I would audition for a show and not get it, but it s like that s acting life.
9
SPEAKER_00
Right, exactly.
9
SPEAKER_02
Right, but then I make the storyline that they hate me.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s putting yourself at the center of things that you re not necessarily at the center of.
9
SPEAKER_01
Right.
9
SPEAKER_01
One of the favorite things I ve learned in AA, which is self-pity is the same level of self-obsession as self-aggrandizement.
9
SPEAKER_01
The universe doesn t care about you one way or another.
9
SPEAKER_01
It doesn t care enough about you to harm you and conspire against you, and you re not hot shit, and it s rewarding you.
9
SPEAKER_01
You re the same piece of shit of everyone else, and no one s even fucking thinking about you.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s such an interesting thing.
9
SPEAKER_00
We all do it, though.
9
SPEAKER_01
You do it too, Monica?
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
Everyone does it.
9
SPEAKER_00
There s different levels of it.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I think it s a human thing.
9
SPEAKER_02
But I ve gotten trouble by believing in these narratives because then all of a sudden I start wars with people that aren t even real.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you have to police yourself on that.
9
SPEAKER_02
I ve done that on podcasts where I ve started wars with people and then they ve come onto my podcast and goes, whoa, dude, I ve always like, what the fuck is going on here?
9
SPEAKER_02
I ll go, oh, it s not good.
9
SPEAKER_02
Sweet dreams.
9
SPEAKER_02
Sweet dreams.
9
SPEAKER_02
So it s a softball movie.
9
SPEAKER_02
It s basically a movie about a bunch of guys in a halfway house and they also happen to play on a softball team.
9
SPEAKER_02
Knoxville plays the lead.
9
SPEAKER_02
He plays a guy named Morris and he s hit a bottom.
9
SPEAKER_02
He goes to this halfway house.
9
SPEAKER_02
He goes through all the things that people do early days in sobriety, vomiting, not wanting to be there, rebelling, all that kind of stuff.
9
SPEAKER_02
Feeling unique.
9
SPEAKER_02
Right.
9
SPEAKER_02
And obviously me, Theo and Dumbfounded and all these people live
9
SPEAKER_02
with him at this halfway house, and he gets it.
9
SPEAKER_02
He has sort of an awakening.
9
SPEAKER_02
He gets a sponsor, starts doing it, and then we also happen to play softball.
9
SPEAKER_02
It s this cute, small movie that I think has a lot of heart.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
I m excited.
9
SPEAKER_01
Me too.
9
SPEAKER_01
I m really excited to see the AA stuff.
9
SPEAKER_01
What was your softball skill before you started?
9
SPEAKER_01
Because I had to play softball in the movie, and I couldn t sleep the night before.
9
SPEAKER_01
Because I had never played it in my whole life.
9
SPEAKER_01
The first time I m ever gonna be playing baseball is gonna be on camera No one s thinking in their head like oh, we did an athlete.
9
SPEAKER_02
Let s get Bobby in the movie, right?
9
SPEAKER_02
You know, should we get a body double?
9
SPEAKER_02
In fact, I did a movie with Rosenbaum called kick in an old school and I danced so bad that they had to get me a body double But you were in a breakdancing team in high school.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, what happened good?
9
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_02
I wasn t Jabba walkies Yeah, so I did the breakdancing movie and they got a Filipino girl
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, boy.
9
SPEAKER_02
So if you watch that movie, all the body shots are a woman doing it.
9
SPEAKER_02
Anyway, so I m not good at it, but I have to be honest.
9
SPEAKER_02
I think that Johnny s great at softball.
9
SPEAKER_02
He s athletic.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yes, big time.
9
SPEAKER_01
I think he was super into baseball as a kid as well.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, Gator, a guy named Brian Van Holt was great.
9
SPEAKER_02
I think that I was mid-level, but there were some guys that were terrible.
9
SPEAKER_01
Did you love being around Jay Moore because he was one of my favorites when I first moved to LA?
9
SPEAKER_01
I want to say something about him right now.
9
SPEAKER_01
That it would be starting another war?
9
SPEAKER_01
No, it s a great thing.
9
SPEAKER_02
Okay, good.
9
SPEAKER_02
We ve seen people transform in this business, especially.
9
SPEAKER_02
He s done such a 180 turnaround in his life.
9
SPEAKER_02
Whenever I see him, I want to cry.
9
SPEAKER_02
He s such a great example of somebody that s really doing the deal and really turned his life around.
9
SPEAKER_02
And I really love that guy so fucking much.
9
SPEAKER_01
I like him for such a specific reason.
9
SPEAKER_01
A, I met him a couple times when I had just moved to LA and he happened to be neighbors with another dude and he was so friendly, so that was great.
9
SPEAKER_01
But I saw one of his bits.
9
SPEAKER_01
I ve had this moment a few times with performers.
9
SPEAKER_01
He tells this story about being a little kid and sucking his neighbor s dick.
9
SPEAKER_01
His neighbor sucking his dick.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
And then 35 years later getting pulled over by him and he was a state trooper.
9
SPEAKER_01
And they re on the side of the road and he was like acting really tough with them to give a ticket.
9
SPEAKER_01
And he s like, you know, I just want to go like, hey, get real.
9
SPEAKER_01
We sucked each other s dick when we were 10 years old.
9
SPEAKER_02
The same thing happened to me.
9
SPEAKER_01
Same thing.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
9
SPEAKER_01
What do you mean?
9
SPEAKER_02
I sucked somebody s dick.
9
SPEAKER_02
I didn t like the flavor.
9
SPEAKER_02
It s not my thing.
9
SPEAKER_02
I ll be honest.
9
SPEAKER_02
Also wasn t shamed about it.
9
SPEAKER_02
Like I ve never had a problem with sexuality in that way.
9
SPEAKER_02
Maybe because I was molested.
9
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
9
SPEAKER_02
So this guy, I sucked his dick in high school.
9
SPEAKER_02
Then I didn t see him for like 20 years.
9
SPEAKER_02
And then I was close to his family.
9
SPEAKER_02
So his mom had died and I went to the funeral and hadn t seen him since I sucked his dick.
9
SPEAKER_02
and all you can think about.
9
SPEAKER_02
So now he s standing next to his mom s casket.
9
SPEAKER_01
He s probably the last person he wants to see at his mom s funeral.
9
SPEAKER_01
I know, I know.
9
SPEAKER_02
In fact, in my mind, I was like, I don t think I should do the condolence thing and go around and look at the casket.
9
SPEAKER_02
I could just sit down, right?
9
SPEAKER_02
Like an idiot, I stayed.
9
SPEAKER_02
And then I see him standing, he s distraught, obviously.
9
SPEAKER_02
I m walking by the casket, I look at, I don t know what to do.
9
SPEAKER_02
So I kind of give him a hug, but he kind of- He gets nervous.
9
SPEAKER_02
He shoulder shoves my- He goes, good to see you, dude.
9
SPEAKER_02
And he does this.
9
SPEAKER_01
He s super macho.
9
SPEAKER_02
And I went back and I went, oh yeah, I should have just sat down.
9
SPEAKER_02
Like, what do you say?
9
SPEAKER_02
What do you say?
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, there s nothing to say, but have you ever had an experience like that where you sucked that guy off?
9
SPEAKER_01
When you re younger?
9
SPEAKER_01
Not by choice.
9
SPEAKER_02
Okay, let s move on.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
What I love about you telling the story and what I loved about Jay Moore telling the story, because he was at peak Jay Moore-ness.
9
SPEAKER_01
That s such a fucking brave thing to do.
9
SPEAKER_01
So many people have done that and no one s ever going to say anything.
9
SPEAKER_01
Anytime a dude, they were a little, what do they call them?
9
SPEAKER_01
Not lampposts, but like markers.
9
SPEAKER_01
I went, oh wow, someone can be honest and vulnerable and real and still walk tall and not give a fuck.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s like oxygen.
9
SPEAKER_01
I want to say something.
9
SPEAKER_01
I ve never said this before.
9
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_02
This is so long, by the way, but I have to add another point.
9
SPEAKER_02
You re very good at what you do.
9
SPEAKER_02
It s very good what you do.
9
SPEAKER_02
I m engaged still, all right?
9
SPEAKER_02
So I want to say that, you know how sometimes kids become racist because their parents are racist?
9
SPEAKER_01
Or they ve literally never met that other race.
9
SPEAKER_02
Literally that.
9
SPEAKER_02
But I just remember my dad as a young kid, he said, if you re gay, I kill you.
9
SPEAKER_02
I kill everybody.
9
SPEAKER_02
Ever since I was a little kid, I just thought, what s the problem with, you know what I mean?
9
SPEAKER_02
So I just don t know how I learned that.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, totally.
9
SPEAKER_02
I mean, how did I learn?
9
SPEAKER_02
I was okay with all races.
9
SPEAKER_02
I was okay with sexuality.
9
SPEAKER_02
And no one taught me that.
9
SPEAKER_02
So are you born with those values?
9
SPEAKER_01
No.
9
SPEAKER_02
What happened?
9
SPEAKER_01
I think this is the great gift of having a really traumatic life is
10
SPEAKER_01
you see other people suffering, and you know what it feels like, and you have built an empathy for a lot of people.
10
SPEAKER_01
And it s the gift of all gifts.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s worth the trauma.
10
SPEAKER_00
I hate authority.
10
SPEAKER_00
Like, when I see Russia invading Ukraine, I just get so overly angry because of my upbringing.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
I m such an underdog.
10
SPEAKER_00
And so I think you re right.
10
SPEAKER_00
I m just there for the underdog.
10
SPEAKER_01
You re looking at a gay dude, and you re like, oof, man.
10
SPEAKER_01
I know the roughness of that.
10
SPEAKER_03
I don t know that version of it, but I know... Like that guy has an uphill battle like I do.
10
SPEAKER_00
Any movie or documentary as a kid about the civil rights movement, alright?
10
SPEAKER_00
I was always on the side of the whites.
10
SPEAKER_00
No, I was always on the side of the whites!
10
SPEAKER_00
I was always on the side of the black human experience in America.
10
SPEAKER_00
I used to get so angry.
10
SPEAKER_00
Back when, like, black people would be at a diner counter.
10
SPEAKER_00
trying to eat and people spitting on them.
10
SPEAKER_00
Or like, a little girl going to school, integrated school for the first time, and have protests go- Yeah, adult men.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, adult men.
10
SPEAKER_00
I was like, I want to kill everyone!
10
SPEAKER_00
I know, I know.
10
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, so watch Sweet Dreams.
10
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna go.
10
SPEAKER_00
That s what I have to say.
10
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna go.
10
SPEAKER_00
Check me out on Bad Friends and Tiger Burley.
10
SPEAKER_00
I have two podcasts.
10
SPEAKER_00
Thank you for having me.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh, such a delight.
10
SPEAKER_01
I knew you would be great.
10
SPEAKER_01
You know, you have a show.
10
SPEAKER_01
And there are days where you re lucky and someone s coming in, like Jake Johnson s coming in.
10
SPEAKER_01
And I go, oh, I just have to sit down and we re going to have a great episode.
10
SPEAKER_01
And I had that very feeling about you.
10
SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
10
SPEAKER_01
I adore you.
10
SPEAKER_01
Everybody go see Sweet Dreams.
10
SPEAKER_01
Or if you miss that window, please see it at home and listen to Tiger Belly.
10
SPEAKER_01
And of course, Bad Friends.
10
SPEAKER_01
Bobby Lee, be well.
10
SPEAKER_00
Stay tuned for the fact check.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s where the party s at.
10
A-hee-yah-ee-yah
10
SPEAKER_01
You re just joining us and you re just waking up Do you think anyone starts at the fact-check and then goes back into the main episode?
10
SPEAKER_01
I doubt it.
10
SPEAKER_03
I doubt it.
10
SPEAKER_01
It wouldn t make sense It wouldn t it d be illogical, but you know people are illogical and they re exciting and they re novel and they re unique and they re crazy
10
SPEAKER_01
They re crazy.
10
SPEAKER_01
They re crazy.
10
SPEAKER_01
Now, I have heard people say they skipped the episode entirely and just went straight to the fact check.
10
SPEAKER_01
I ve read that in the comments.
10
SPEAKER_03
But then they don t go back.
10
SPEAKER_01
Right, right.
10
SPEAKER_03
I see.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
Or maybe that s happened, but they didn t report it to me.
10
SPEAKER_03
Reported if that happens guys.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you know, I was relieved to see in the comments what other people thought that about connections We re not alone.
10
SPEAKER_03
Of course.
10
SPEAKER_01
I mean, of course our sweet armchairs would think yeah, but I don t I thought you were maybe on the fence about that when we talked about it last that perhaps they Yes, they thought that that whole addition of the puzzle was Was a winky
10
SPEAKER_03
That s cool.
10
SPEAKER_01
Winky wink.
10
SPEAKER_01
This just made me think of something, because I said winky and it made me think of Twinkies.
10
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
10
SPEAKER_01
And I m writing about my deep, hostile envy when I was in elementary school.
10
SPEAKER_01
I had a pack of lunch, as you know, and I wanted hot lunch so bad.
10
SPEAKER_01
But then beyond that, I had a brown, like a Soviet era brown paper sack.
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
And then inside was either two cheese sandwiches or two bologna sandwiches, and then a little serving, half serving of store brand plain potato chips.
10
SPEAKER_03
Mmm, Lay s?
10
SPEAKER_01
Kroger brain.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I see.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, whatever Big K chips or whatever the fuck.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and I would watch kids open up their metal lunchbox and I d watch them removing like the Kraft cheese and crackers prepackaged a pair of Twinkies a fruit roll-up pop-tarts
10
SPEAKER_03
Dunkaroos.
10
SPEAKER_01
Tons of fun stuff, and then a dessert, and then the drink was a high C or a, you know, whatever the other option was.
10
SPEAKER_03
Capri Sun.
10
SPEAKER_01
Capri Sun.
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so be honest, what was your lunch like?
10
SPEAKER_01
Situation?
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, what did you have in there?
10
SPEAKER_03
My lunch was also brought, but, cause we ve talked about this, I think it s regional, it s school dependent.
10
SPEAKER_01
You didn t wanna buy.
10
SPEAKER_03
I did not wanna buy, and I wanted the paper bag.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh, interesting.
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, because like a lunchbox is- Too kiddy?
10
SPEAKER_03
It s too over the top.
10
SPEAKER_01
Too childish.
10
SPEAKER_03
Early on, I remember one time I had a thermos with like SpaghettiOs in it or something.
10
SPEAKER_01
Ooh, warm SpaghettiOs?
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, but I think I was embarrassed by that.
10
SPEAKER_03
So eventually it was a- Thanks for reminding me of that.
10
SPEAKER_01
I forgot about that hack.
10
SPEAKER_01
The kids had in thermoses like Chef Boyardee products.
10
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
10
SPEAKER_01
Or Franco American.
10
SPEAKER_01
Franco-American was SpaghettiOs.
10
SPEAKER_01
It was the name of the brand, yeah.
10
SPEAKER_03
Oh, wow.
10
SPEAKER_01
You had two options in the can of pasta.
10
SPEAKER_03
I thought it was Chef Boyardee.
10
SPEAKER_01
There was Chef Boyardee, which was ravioli.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I remember that.
10
SPEAKER_01
But specifically.
10
SPEAKER_01
SpaghettiOs.
10
SPEAKER_01
SpaghettiOs, I believe, is Franco-American.
10
SPEAKER_01
Or Franco-America.
10
SPEAKER_02
Rob?
10
SPEAKER_02
Campbell s.
10
SPEAKER_02
Campbell s.
10
SPEAKER_02
Campbell s SpaghettiOs is on the can.
10
SPEAKER_02
There is spaghetti and meatballs with Franco-American.
10
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that shit was good.
10
SPEAKER_02
Beef ravioli.
10
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, they made a great beef ravioli.
10
SPEAKER_01
Not as good as Chef Warranty.
10
SPEAKER_02
They had a SpaghettiOs.
10
SPEAKER_02
Maybe this was generational.
10
SPEAKER_01
This one was acquired, maybe.
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, maybe.
10
SPEAKER_03
Because it does SpaghettiOs copyright original as Campbell s Soup Company.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, but Franco-American, their raviolis were much smaller, so the Chef Boyardee s were big, and then they came out with Chef Boyardee minis.
10
SPEAKER_03
Mini, by the time I came around, it was all about the minis.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but they were biting on Franco-American.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, there s cans of that.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
With SpaghettiOs.
10
SPEAKER_01
Those were good, man, their meat, their whatever that meat really was was delicious.
10
SPEAKER_03
It was good, I ate a lot of it.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it was so good.
10
SPEAKER_03
I ate a lot of ravioli.
10
SPEAKER_01
Get home from school, get the can opener out, boom, in the microwave, one minute.
10
SPEAKER_03
I kind of want it.
10
SPEAKER_03
Like what?
10
SPEAKER_03
I do too.
10
SPEAKER_01
We re naughty.
10
SPEAKER_03
I know.
10
SPEAKER_03
Um, okay.
10
SPEAKER_01
So what did you have?
10
SPEAKER_03
I had Capri Sun and I had all the junk.
10
SPEAKER_01
He did.
10
SPEAKER_01
All the prepackaged fun stuff.
10
SPEAKER_01
And would you whore straight?
10
SPEAKER_01
So first would just be my deep envy of what they had.
10
SPEAKER_01
And then I couldn t participate in what became the classroom bizarre of trading the different things.
10
SPEAKER_01
So some kid would have the Kraft cheese and crackers, he d have his eye on someone s Pop-Tart, and they d start horse training.
10
SPEAKER_01
And everyone would have, they had a lot to barter with.
10
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, does anyone want a bologna sandwich or some store brand chips?
10
SPEAKER_03
Did you present it like that?
10
SPEAKER_01
No, no.
10
SPEAKER_01
And I m about to write about this specific part.
10
SPEAKER_01
That s what I m writing next is like, what a disgusting bear I was.
10
SPEAKER_01
Like I would virtually beg for food.
10
SPEAKER_01
I would like be seen who s not finishing what?
10
SPEAKER_01
And I would panhandle.
10
SPEAKER_01
I would go from desk to desk.
10
SPEAKER_01
Like, are you eating?
10
SPEAKER_01
I mean, what a loser.
10
SPEAKER_01
I would ask like, are you going to eat that second Pop-Tart?
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
And I would just scavenge.
10
SPEAKER_01
Like a fucking raccoon.
10
SPEAKER_03
Remember, you had food.
10
SPEAKER_03
It just wasn t fun food.
10
SPEAKER_01
It was not fun at all.
10
SPEAKER_03
People had fun food.
10
SPEAKER_01
And I was a big boy.
10
SPEAKER_01
I wanted more.
10
SPEAKER_01
I d eat those two sandwiches and those chips.
10
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, what else we got?
10
SPEAKER_01
Who s going to throw what away?
10
SPEAKER_01
But it also, so Aaron was, I wasn t privy to it because we went to different elementary schools, but what we bonded over at one point is we had both worked at Big Boys.
10
SPEAKER_01
Now Alliance Brothers Big Boy, not Bob s.
10
SPEAKER_03
And not Dolly s.
10
SPEAKER_01
No, not Dolly, our new mascot.
10
SPEAKER_01
And we were both bus boys there when we were, I was 12, and I think he did when he was 14.
10
SPEAKER_01
And it was a progression.
10
SPEAKER_01
At first, I would be clearing the table, and if someone had ordered a Slim Jim, which is cut neatly in half, and they had eaten one half but hadn t touched the other half, I would eat that half when I got into the kitchen.
10
SPEAKER_01
I would clear the table, and then I would eat the remaining half of it.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so that that s where it started.
10
SPEAKER_01
And like all things, slippery slope.
10
SPEAKER_01
By the end of my time there, I would take a bite directly out of a big white bite marks.
10
SPEAKER_01
And I felt such shame and embarrassment about that.
10
SPEAKER_01
And then one day, Aaron and I just started chatting about our experience.
10
SPEAKER_01
A big point.
10
SPEAKER_01
I m like, did you ever eat the food off of the plates?
10
SPEAKER_01
He s like, yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
And then he had had the same trajectory.
10
SPEAKER_01
By the end, you re eating like half eaten fries.
10
SPEAKER_01
You just don t give a fuck.
10
SPEAKER_01
You get over that and you just want that yummy food and it s free.
10
SPEAKER_03
And now I want you to be really honest because my reaction of saying, ew, is like really mean.
10
SPEAKER_03
If you weren t getting enough food, but were you getting enough food and it was just gross and boring and stupid food?
10
SPEAKER_01
No, what it was is they gave us a half price menu as an employee there, not even free.
10
SPEAKER_03
Right.
10
SPEAKER_01
And we were making, both of us, this was minimum wage when you were a minor and you had the card signed.
10
SPEAKER_01
$2.35 an hour.
10
SPEAKER_01
So I would go in there and I d work for four hours.
10
SPEAKER_01
And I would make a, and then that s $1.20.
10
SPEAKER_01
So $9.20.
10
SPEAKER_01
And a big boy combination at that time was probably like $8.
10
SPEAKER_01
I could have got it for four.
10
SPEAKER_01
That would have been half the day s wages.
10
SPEAKER_03
I guess, but I mean more, I mean more like at home.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yes, no, my mother fed me.
10
SPEAKER_03
Your mom fed you.
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I just want to be- She fed me.
10
SPEAKER_01
I was envious of variety.
10
SPEAKER_03
Exactly.
10
SPEAKER_01
And name brand stuff.
10
SPEAKER_03
But Aaron, was he getting fed?
10
SPEAKER_01
And there s a lot of food, it s just government food.
10
SPEAKER_01
But he and I used to murder that government food.
10
SPEAKER_01
We would like go through a block of that cheese in no time.
10
SPEAKER_01
And they could get dinty more a lot.
10
SPEAKER_01
We used to eat a lot of dinty.
11
SPEAKER_01
more beef stew at his house.
11
SPEAKER_01
It s a canned beef stew, it s delicious.
11
SPEAKER_03
Not Chef Boyardee or Franco, Frank Ocean, whatever you said.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, Franklin Elementary.
11
SPEAKER_00
It s free stuff.
11
SPEAKER_00
We would do that at the movie theater where like, someone would leave popcorn and you would just pour the top layer off and then you got a bag of popcorn.
11
SPEAKER_01
But did you find that you slowly eroded your boundaries?
11
SPEAKER_00
Originally it was you find the free refill thing, then dump it out and get the free refill, and then it was just, there it is.
11
SPEAKER_00
I m not going to the concession line.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yes, yes, yes.
11
SPEAKER_01
It s really funny.
11
SPEAKER_01
I was almost wish that all that was documented.
11
SPEAKER_01
Like someone s progress in working with food.
11
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, yeah.
11
SPEAKER_03
I actually think I d feel the opposite.
11
SPEAKER_03
Like the more you work there, the more disgusted you are by the food there.
11
SPEAKER_01
You would think that.
11
SPEAKER_01
But I also worked at CPK and I never tired of that food.
11
SPEAKER_01
I wanted it more the day I quit than I did when I started.
11
SPEAKER_01
That s surprising, yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
Well, it s an addictive food.
11
SPEAKER_03
Well, sure.
11
SPEAKER_03
Allegedly.
11
SPEAKER_01
What was your prize possession in your launch?
11
SPEAKER_01
What was the thing that you like?
11
SPEAKER_01
Did you guys do any trading?
11
SPEAKER_01
I didn t let you answer.
11
SPEAKER_03
I don t remember.
11
SPEAKER_03
I m sure we did, but I don t remember.
11
SPEAKER_03
It doesn t stick out as a big memory.
11
SPEAKER_01
I imagine you would have been trying to get cookies.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but I also... You re a cookie boy.
11
SPEAKER_03
I m a cookie monster.
11
SPEAKER_03
Respect my label, please.
11
SPEAKER_01
Few armchairs ask for shirts that say cookie boy.
11
SPEAKER_03
But I had cookies.
11
SPEAKER_03
Like, it wasn t... I didn t have to trade.
11
SPEAKER_03
I think... I don t know how it happened.
11
SPEAKER_03
I don t think I went to the grocery store with my mom.
11
SPEAKER_03
She just got...
11
SPEAKER_03
And to be fair, she got it all because it s easy.
11
SPEAKER_03
It s so much easier to just grab a whole bunch of shit and throw it in a bag.
11
SPEAKER_03
Pre-packaged, pre-made.
11
SPEAKER_03
She didn t have time to make the stuff, the bologna sandwiches.
11
SPEAKER_03
Although she did eventually, you know, she started making my lunch again.
11
SPEAKER_03
She stopped for a long time and that was up to me.
11
SPEAKER_03
And then she picked it back up, I think because she didn t think I was eating well.
11
SPEAKER_01
Okay, or she missed it.
11
SPEAKER_03
Or she missed it, maybe.
11
SPEAKER_01
She s a working woman.
11
SPEAKER_01
She had the guilt.
11
SPEAKER_01
She might have been in a phase, feeling bad.
11
SPEAKER_01
This is recently?
11
SPEAKER_01
She s making you lunch again?
11
SPEAKER_03
No, she does make me lunch, yeah.
11
SPEAKER_03
Well, she definitely makes you lunch if you re in your home.
11
SPEAKER_01
I ve been on many Zoom calls with you and I ll watch her enter with a big... A sandwich.
11
SPEAKER_03
I ll probably have a sandwich tomorrow.
11
SPEAKER_01
A big plate of sandwiches.
11
SPEAKER_01
When I get home.
11
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I m taking a red-eye tonight.
11
SPEAKER_03
I m not looking forward to the flight at all.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, red-eyes are never fun.
11
SPEAKER_01
I d really like to fast forward.
11
SPEAKER_01
Unless it s a proper 10-hour flight.
11
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
11
SPEAKER_01
Then it s a dream because you missed the whole thing.
11
SPEAKER_03
Yes, this is...
11
SPEAKER_01
No, this is like a four hour flight, right?
11
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, four, four, yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
Four, four and change, four and a half, four and a quarter.
11
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
And also would you, I imagine too what would happen is you would be at school, you d see a student who had something fun and you d come home and you d tell mom, oh, I want snack wells.
11
SPEAKER_03
Maybe.
11
SPEAKER_01
Must ve been.
11
SPEAKER_03
I don t have any memories of,
11
SPEAKER_01
Food.
11
SPEAKER_03
Food scarcity.
11
SPEAKER_01
I guess.
11
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I guess it s food scarcity.
11
SPEAKER_03
I mean, I remember, obviously I did because I stole that girl s cookies.
11
SPEAKER_03
So that was a thing.
11
SPEAKER_03
But I mean, I had goldfish.
11
SPEAKER_03
I love goldfish.
11
SPEAKER_03
Sometimes I had, I remember, I remember having Cheetos because I remember playing the game where like you try not to get any orange on your fingers while you eat them.
11
SPEAKER_01
Good luck.
11
SPEAKER_03
Impossible.
11
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_03
Impossible game.
11
SPEAKER_01
Unless, not to bring it back to Aaron, but he in his truck kept gloves.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yes, you did say that.
11
SPEAKER_01
Flaming hot Cheeto habit.
11
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, no, I have, but Dunkaroos were huge.
11
SPEAKER_01
And again, remind me what Dunkaroos are?
11
SPEAKER_03
Dunkaroos was kind of like, you know, the cheese spread and the crackers, but instead it was small, tiny cookies and then frosting.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
11
SPEAKER_03
And you dipped the tiny cookies in the frosting and you ate it.
11
SPEAKER_03
But I did choke on it.
11
SPEAKER_03
And like bad.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh, in class.
11
SPEAKER_03
No, no, just thank God.
11
SPEAKER_03
If that had happened in school where someone had to like Heimlich me.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_03
That s the end.
11
SPEAKER_03
I would have, you would never have met me.
11
SPEAKER_01
I would have died.
11
SPEAKER_01
I do think it s a weird form of torture though, to watch kids have so much fun food around you.
11
SPEAKER_01
every single day at lunch.
11
SPEAKER_01
I m not saying I m a victim and don t feel bad for me, but I will say it s a bit torturous to tear open that sack and watch everyone unload their grocery cart, basically.
11
SPEAKER_01
And they look so happy, too.
11
SPEAKER_01
They re laughing.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh, did you get the horse training?
11
SPEAKER_03
You projected that everyone was talking about their food and they re not.
11
SPEAKER_01
How much fun they were having.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I ve never tried these.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh my god, this is new.
11
SPEAKER_01
Mom!
11
SPEAKER_03
Do you think people are like, you guys cannot stop talking.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I must ve been, I mean, they must ve talked about it.
11
SPEAKER_01
He s a beggar.
11
SPEAKER_01
It s like having a dog in the classroom.
11
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it s humiliating when I think about how I used to approach people s desks to see if I could get something.
11
SPEAKER_01
You did.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yes, daily.
11
SPEAKER_01
It was agonizing.
11
SPEAKER_01
There s too much.
11
SPEAKER_01
They didn t even finish it all.
11
SPEAKER_01
There s way too much fun stuff.
11
SPEAKER_01
They re like throwing the towel at some point.
11
SPEAKER_01
I m like, guys, there s no way you re getting, don t throw that away.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
I haven t had any of those crackers yet.
11
SPEAKER_01
Dunkarees.
11
SPEAKER_01
Come in.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
11
SPEAKER_01
Hello.
11
SPEAKER_01
Hello.
11
SPEAKER_01
Hi, Linker Bell.
11
SPEAKER_02
I made this for you.
11
SPEAKER_01
What?
11
SPEAKER_02
This is gorgeous.
11
SPEAKER_02
There are some mistakes.
11
SPEAKER_03
No, there are no mistakes.
11
SPEAKER_03
It s beautiful.
11
SPEAKER_01
Well, don t we call mistakes wabi-sabi?
11
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, part of what makes it unique.
11
SPEAKER_03
But this is gorgeous.
11
SPEAKER_03
Is it a vase?
11
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_03
Wow.
11
SPEAKER_01
It s a small commode.
11
SPEAKER_01
If she had an emergency in her car, would you be offended if she pootied in it?
11
SPEAKER_03
I would never.
11
SPEAKER_01
I would never pootie in this.
11
SPEAKER_02
It s easy to clean out, so you know.
11
SPEAKER_02
But I would prefer if you didn t tell me.
11
SPEAKER_01
Okay, that s good to know.
11
SPEAKER_01
What you don t know can t hurt you.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh, we got another visitor.
11
SPEAKER_01
Who s here now?
11
SPEAKER_03
This is just beautiful.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God, this is like present hour.
11
SPEAKER_01
It s because you have hair like a bird.
11
SPEAKER_03
Oh my God.
11
SPEAKER_01
Hair like a mermaid or a tail like a mermaid?
11
SPEAKER_01
Pull the microphone close to you, because I think people should hear it.
11
SPEAKER_01
You got a new character.
11
SPEAKER_01
This is Delta Six.
11
SPEAKER_02
These are both so beautiful, I m so lucky.
11
SPEAKER_02
It s like, it s a mermaid, and then the mermaid hair is attached to the mermaid tail, and then that s the mermaid tail, and then the mermaid hair is also attached to the mermaid tail.
11
SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
11
SPEAKER_01
Do you need a tissue already?
11
SPEAKER_01
You ve been here for five seconds, yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
I ll give you a tissue.
11
SPEAKER_03
Delta s been very sick.
11
SPEAKER_01
Very, very sick, her biggest illness.
11
SPEAKER_01
Lincoln has managed to avoid, yeah, exactly.
11
SPEAKER_01
Lincoln, how have you avoided getting this plague that she seems to have?
11
SPEAKER_02
I have not licked her tongue yet.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yet, but certainly you ve been in close enough proximity, and I ve smooched her a bunch of times.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I m cool though.
11
SPEAKER_02
I don t have any symptoms.
11
SPEAKER_02
I did pushups today at PE.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah?
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
The kind on your toes or your knees?
11
SPEAKER_01
How many did you do?
11
SPEAKER_02
Me?
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
That s cool.
11
SPEAKER_01
Hey, Delta, we re trying to have a conversation over here.
11
SPEAKER_02
This is her in the middle of the night.
11
SPEAKER_02
Like I can hear, I tried to sleep with her because we sleep with our mom on the weekends and I tried to sleep with her and she just snotted and it sounded like she had lost it.
11
SPEAKER_02
Like there was no air in her body because it was just
11
SPEAKER_02
Were you scared?
11
SPEAKER_02
Kind of.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, we ve all, numerous times in the last week, have been worried while sleeping next to Delta that she has ceased existing and stopped breathing.
11
SPEAKER_01
And then coupled with indiscriminate bouts of crying while you re asleep to Talk a little more into the microphone.
11
SPEAKER_01
Do you do you have a memory of crying during the night?
11
SPEAKER_02
I never remember crying in the night
11
SPEAKER_02
I never remember crying in the night, but I do cry in the night a lot.
11
SPEAKER_02
And then sometimes I go into the hallway, and I used to go into the hallway, and I used to sit down in the middle of the night, and I was asleep.
11
SPEAKER_02
And I was sleepwalking, and then I d just cry.
11
SPEAKER_02
And can I have my third tissue?
11
SPEAKER_01
Yes, yes.
11
SPEAKER_02
Do you want the box?
11
SPEAKER_01
No, she can t be trusted with the box.
11
SPEAKER_01
That was a good one.
11
SPEAKER_02
Waterfall, waterfall.
11
SPEAKER_02
I have such a raw noise.
11
SPEAKER_01
That s a great description, it s raw.
11
SPEAKER_02
Raw with talent.
11
SPEAKER_02
I said I have a raw nose, but okay.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you said you had a raw nose.
11
SPEAKER_03
It s okay, we ll pretend you said it right.
11
SPEAKER_01
We ll use AI to fix it.
11
SPEAKER_01
Can I publicly commend you Lincoln for having been so patient The whole week that Delta s been sick because she s gotten a lot of our attention Yeah
12
SPEAKER_02
incredibly helpful to you, she s been bringing you things.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, she gave me a bath one morning.
12
SPEAKER_01
Aw, that s so sweet.
12
SPEAKER_01
And she let me use all of her mochis.
12
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that s a big.
12
SPEAKER_01
It s a little squishy, yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
I love the emoji.
12
SPEAKER_00
You guys are very nice to each other, I really like it.
12
SPEAKER_00
When it counts.
12
SPEAKER_00
When it matters, of course.
12
SPEAKER_01
It was a test, it was a very, because there was two conflicting thoughts, like, be kind to her, and.
12
SPEAKER_02
And maybe murder her.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yes, and murder her, or like, just get her high on, I don t know, mucinex, so she passes out.
12
SPEAKER_01
Sure.
12
SPEAKER_01
So you guys are like,
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s honest and true that s most people struggle with these I just realized that the only way to get through this and To look back and have no regress is to be kind to her.
12
SPEAKER_01
So I was just like her little assistant and I asked Like her TA if she could have like a homework packet and I gave it to her I was like, I know you may not like this and she grabbed a pencil just started
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I turned off the TV, it s hard to write.
12
SPEAKER_01
Oh, because you miss school?
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I miss school, I wanna go.
12
SPEAKER_02
When you went into her classroom, Lincoln, did you present yourself as Delta s executive assistant?
12
SPEAKER_02
Here to pick up her work?
12
SPEAKER_01
No, but I walked in, and then half of the class are girls, and all of them just started charging at me, running and screaming, Delta, is she okay?
12
SPEAKER_01
I have a card for her!
12
SPEAKER_01
Actually, today Delta got a friendship bracelet and a card.
12
SPEAKER_01
So popular.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yes, and I m like, don t worry guys, she s feeling better.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I got a card and it was really nice and I had a little red friendship bracelet and it said,
12
SPEAKER_01
BFF, and then like I ve been having fights at school, and then it was one of my friends telling me that there has been no fights between that group, and that relieved me.
12
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that s good.
12
SPEAKER_01
I think that they were getting popular.
12
SPEAKER_01
You were very popular.
12
SPEAKER_01
I ve got a lot of friends.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you re blessed.
12
SPEAKER_01
Jessie s my best friend, and half the time I was talking to her, she was like, is Delta okay?
12
SPEAKER_01
Oh, Jesus, you know, you re even... It s affecting my friend group.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, it s trickling in.
12
SPEAKER_02
Yes, so as as you admitted to Delta you got a lot of attention this last couple weeks So let me give Lincoln a little attention right now and just say I want her to share with people Excuse me Okay, so Lincoln I took a walk the other day
12
SPEAKER_02
And Lincoln, well, we walked by our house, she said, what s your favorite house in this neighborhood?
12
SPEAKER_02
And I said, well, I kind of like this one because it has a name.
12
SPEAKER_02
And I know you ve seen it too, Monica.
12
SPEAKER_02
There s a house called Casa de Contento.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh, OK.
12
SPEAKER_02
Or Del Contento.
12
SPEAKER_02
And so then Lincoln said, we need to name our house that we re building in Nashville.
12
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
12
SPEAKER_01
We were thinking for a while, and then we decided that it has to be something that s ridiculous, hillbilly-like, but then also something prestigious and fancy.
12
SPEAKER_02
Tough, tall order.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yes, exactly.
12
SPEAKER_01
So, Dad suggested...
12
SPEAKER_02
I think you should hit them with the full name.
12
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so dad suggested this one thing and we laughed about it.
12
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, what s the toilet brand name that we use?
12
SPEAKER_02
Right, so we have automatic water spraying toilet seats and they re called Brondles.
12
SPEAKER_01
They re called Brondles.
12
SPEAKER_01
So then we decided that the full name would be Brown Trout Lodge.
12
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
12
SPEAKER_01
Because brown trout means poop.
12
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
12
SPEAKER_01
Brown Trout Lodge, located in Brondle Springs.
12
SPEAKER_01
I like that.
12
SPEAKER_01
USA.
12
SPEAKER_02
The Brown Trout Lodge in Randall Springs, USA.
12
SPEAKER_01
But then it was like, we named the house Brown Trout Lodge, right?
12
SPEAKER_02
Sure.
12
SPEAKER_01
But then we had to name this barn.
12
SPEAKER_01
We were like, it has to kind of represent like the gym because all the gym equipment is going to be in there.
12
SPEAKER_01
So you proposed.
12
SPEAKER_02
Dan Gaines Beef Barn at Brondal Springs.
12
SPEAKER_01
And for like events, Dan Gaines Beef Bar Buffet.
12
SPEAKER_01
Breakfast buffet, yeah, like everything.
12
SPEAKER_01
And then we also made our song, Brondal Springs has good things.
12
SPEAKER_01
Brondal Springs gives you wings.
12
SPEAKER_02
So it s more of a chant, but we know we re also gonna come up with a country song.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yes, like a campfire kind of.
12
SPEAKER_00
Maybe Bluebird Cafe.
12
SPEAKER_00
You can sing it at the Bluebird Cafe.
12
SPEAKER_02
Okay, I have Lincoln currently deployed making artwork for some imagery to accompany the name and the location, so she s in the middle of that.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yes, designing the merch for Browntrap Lodge, yes.
12
SPEAKER_02
So cute.
12
SPEAKER_01
Located in Brondell Springs, USA.
12
SPEAKER_02
Okay, I love you two so much, but we also, we have to work.
12
SPEAKER_02
Please hand me those 62 tissues.
12
SPEAKER_02
I love you, sweet.
12
SPEAKER_00
Love you guys.
12
SPEAKER_00
Bye, love you.
12
SPEAKER_00
Thank you so much for my special gift.
12
SPEAKER_02
Bye.
12
SPEAKER_00
Bye, Buck.
12
SPEAKER_00
I love it so much.
12
SPEAKER_00
Thanks, Bunny.
12
SPEAKER_02
Come on, just showered in presents.
12
SPEAKER_00
So many presents, beautiful, beautiful vase, and a little, like, jewelry catch-all.
12
SPEAKER_00
It s so cute.
12
SPEAKER_02
Well, you ll be able to hang things on that tail, even.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I could do rings or something.
12
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, put your Dunkaroos in there.
12
SPEAKER_00
I could, I could.
12
SPEAKER_02
Did you hear Delta s character?
12
SPEAKER_02
It s more than just she s sick.
12
SPEAKER_02
So first her voice went.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_02
But then it developed into a whole character.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, she s doing a thing.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_02
Yes, yes, yes.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_02
So every conversation I ve had with her is like I m in an SNL sketch for the last week.
12
SPEAKER_02
She s so cute.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh man, she was really sick.
12
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it got a little concerning there for a minute.
12
SPEAKER_02
Someone thought she had mono for a minute, one of the doctors.
12
SPEAKER_02
No, no, no, nine years old is too tiny for mono.
12
SPEAKER_02
But it wasn t.
12
SPEAKER_02
Glad it wasn t that.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay, we were discussing, so I was about to ask a thought, like a question.
12
SPEAKER_02
About food we were still talking about?
12
SPEAKER_00
We were talking about food.
12
SPEAKER_02
Bagging.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay, yeah, is it?
12
SPEAKER_00
Rude or normal?
12
SPEAKER_00
Like, if you re at a dinner party and someone doesn t eat all the food.
12
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
And isn t going to take it home.
12
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
Should it be expected that you would get it?
12
SPEAKER_00
Me?
12
SPEAKER_02
Anyone.
12
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I definitely think it s cool to go, like when someone s clearly done and you go, are you going to have any more of that steak?
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_02
And they ll go, oh no, take it.
12
SPEAKER_02
I think your knee jerk would be to go like, oh no, do you want it?
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, of course.
12
SPEAKER_02
And of course it should get eaten if someone still wants to eat.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think so too.
12
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that should be standard operating procedure.
12
SPEAKER_00
But I guess like it can cross a line.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, to me, sometimes it can cross a line.
12
SPEAKER_02
Well, I know exactly what it could be is that if your pace is slow and someone s like monitoring you, waiting for you to throw in the towel, but you re like, I m just eating slow stuff and I don t like that.
12
SPEAKER_00
Stop paying attention to this.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, okay.
12
SPEAKER_02
It s like eating next to jackals.
12
SPEAKER_02
And that s what I was, I was like a hyena, certainly, you know, when the lions are eating the carcass and I was just there as a hyena.
12
SPEAKER_02
Let me have some skin.
12
SPEAKER_02
Right.
12
SPEAKER_02
Give me that bone, no one s eating.
12
SPEAKER_00
It just makes the vibe a little weird.
12
SPEAKER_02
Absolutely.
12
SPEAKER_02
Again, it s all regrettable.
12
SPEAKER_00
No, you were just a kid.
12
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, but I m pretty embarrassed by the way I just prowled around the classroom.
12
SPEAKER_02
There s some cheese left in the bottom of that.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh God, did you use your finger to scoop up the cheese?
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, yes, of course.
12
SPEAKER_00
But there is a red stick.
12
SPEAKER_02
But it doesn t get the corners.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_02
And I would even fold out the bottom.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
And then suck on it.
12
SPEAKER_02
Gotta get every last morsel.
12
SPEAKER_02
It was great training for when I would be at the end of a cocaine bag and you turn that inside out and rub it all around your mouth and stuff, yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
Wow, okay, well that s a ding ding ding, because it s for Bobby Lee.
12
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I loved this episode.
12
SPEAKER_00
Me too, I did too.
12
SPEAKER_00
But addiction comes up.
12
SPEAKER_00
So, okay, you said that Asians are good at math because of rice production, like that s where that stereotype comes from.
12
SPEAKER_00
Malcolm Gladwell.
12
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, he s got a chapter on it.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and he says it s not true for the reasons you might think, like genetic predisposition to math.
12
SPEAKER_00
It s because they come from a cultural heritage of rice farming, which created a culture of diligence.
12
SPEAKER_00
So then he has a whole thing about the importance of diligence in math.
12
SPEAKER_00
He says when it comes to math, the best students are the ones willing to spend a lot of time figuring out how to solve a problem.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so there s that.
12
SPEAKER_00
And then the next fact is also Malcolm Gladwell, which is crazy.
12
SPEAKER_02
You know what s funny is I just had breakfast with Malcolm Gladwell.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh my gosh.
12
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, and we were talking about, I was telling him about the memory expert we had on, and that there s actually a period, and I had forgotten the name of it, and I don t remember it now, but the period where you log and lock in the most amount of memories, and it said in that book, between 20 and 30.
12
SPEAKER_02
Which is why those are your favorite movies and those are your favorite.
12
SPEAKER_00
I thought it was like 13.
13
SPEAKER_02
Okay, let s say it was 14 and 30, but it went up to 30.
13
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
13
SPEAKER_02
And I was telling him I was on my tear of his books in my late 20s.
13
SPEAKER_02
And they re almost like the last bit of books I locked in all of the information.
13
SPEAKER_03
That s interesting.
13
SPEAKER_02
And I was asking him if he has those books and he goes, oh yeah, not only do I have those books, I regularly go back and read them.
13
SPEAKER_02
They re the only ones I m interested in going back and kind of brushing up on it.
13
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that makes sense.
13
SPEAKER_02
And I was like, yeah, dude, I can like tell you every paragraph of the Korean airline fucking chapter.
13
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_02
They re so cemented in my brain.
13
SPEAKER_02
That s funny.
13
SPEAKER_02
Unlike anything else.
13
SPEAKER_02
The reminiscence bump from 10 to 30.
13
SPEAKER_02
10 to 30, okay.
13
SPEAKER_03
Okay, but so the second fact, you said airplane crashes are, it s never just one thing that goes wrong.
13
SPEAKER_03
I feel a little anxious doing this today as I m about to get on an airplane.
13
SPEAKER_02
It s gonna comfort you, because like several things have to go wrong.
13
SPEAKER_03
Well, according to outliers, a typical plane crash involves seven consecutive human errors.
13
SPEAKER_02
Seven, I mean, that s a lot of human errors.
13
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I mean, there ve been a lot of knock on wood
13
SPEAKER_03
Airplane stuff recently though.
13
SPEAKER_02
That s true.
13
SPEAKER_02
There was that what door?
13
SPEAKER_02
There was the door, but then there was also some software that would trick the plane and there s like a whole bunch of well There s a whole bowling trial exactly right and then the guy killed himself.
13
SPEAKER_02
Yeah
13
SPEAKER_02
which has given rise to conspiracy theories, of course.
13
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
13
SPEAKER_03
Ayahuasca.
13
SPEAKER_03
I was just looking up a little bit about what it does, what it does to the brain and it says it just has activations in the occipital, temporal, and frontal areas of the brain.
13
SPEAKER_03
I mean, there s not that much,
13
SPEAKER_02
I can t imagine it s been studied all that thoroughly.
13
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, it says activates a complicated network of vision and memory which heightens the internal reality of the participants.
13
SPEAKER_03
Guess how it s spelled.
13
SPEAKER_02
Ayahuasca, A-Y, am I already off?
13
SPEAKER_03
No, you re right.
13
SPEAKER_02
A-Y-I-O-X-I-C-A.
13
SPEAKER_03
Okay, you were right, you started off right, yeah.
13
SPEAKER_03
A-Y-A-H-U-A-S-C-A.
13
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I thought there was an X in there.
13
SPEAKER_03
I thought there was a I, I thought it started with an I. Okay, ayahuasca, yeah.
13
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_02
But I think it s I like I-A-I.
13
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, clearly is.
13
SPEAKER_02
Yes, obviously.
13
SPEAKER_02
We know that now, I just said that.
13
SPEAKER_03
Now we know.
13
SPEAKER_03
Okay, you said you think that men watch YouTube more.
13
SPEAKER_03
Right.
13
SPEAKER_03
54.4%, so not that much more.
13
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, just hardly a majority.
13
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_02
That must have changed.
13
SPEAKER_02
I think that s come down.
13
SPEAKER_03
It makes sense though, because there s so much makeup videos and all these things that women watch on YouTube.
13
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_03
So.
13
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I think more and more content is drawing them there as well.
13
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, definitely.
13
SPEAKER_02
But it would have been easy back when it was more like a 60 or 70% market share that men had.
13
SPEAKER_02
I would have then made the argument in the same way we would make about them sexually, that men are so visual.
13
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, but no.
13
SPEAKER_02
But no.
13
SPEAKER_02
Can t make that.
13
SPEAKER_02
And women watch porn, apparently, more than men.
13
SPEAKER_02
It s crazy.
13
SPEAKER_03
All right, those stems to facts.
13
SPEAKER_02
Thems was the facts?
13
SPEAKER_03
Yes.
13
SPEAKER_02
Any updates from you?
13
SPEAKER_03
No, not really.
13
SPEAKER_03
I m going, as I said, I m going on a flight.
13
SPEAKER_03
I m going home for Mother s Day.
13
SPEAKER_02
That s very nice of you.
13
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_02
And is your mom excited about that?
13
SPEAKER_03
Yes, yes, she is excited.
13
SPEAKER_02
Does she feel loved?
13
SPEAKER_03
I hope so.
13
SPEAKER_03
I m also, Alison Roman s doing a live show.
13
SPEAKER_02
Oh, she is.
13
SPEAKER_03
She has a podcast, and she s doing a live show, and she asked me to be her guest, so I m gonna do that.
13
SPEAKER_02
You re doing a live show in Atlanta?
13
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_02
Well, oh, this will already, you ll have already done it.
13
SPEAKER_02
We should have said something on the previous fact check.
13
SPEAKER_03
Oh, well.
13
SPEAKER_02
The Franco-American Playhouse?
13
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
13
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
13
SPEAKER_03
And they re gonna serve SpaghettiOs.
13
SPEAKER_02
Oh, as they should.
13
SPEAKER_02
I bet, I guarantee there s, in the annals of comedy, there was a comedy troupe named the SpaghettiOs, unfortunately.
13
SPEAKER_02
I m sure.
13
SPEAKER_02
I guarantee it.
13
SPEAKER_02
I m sure of it.
13
SPEAKER_02
I guarantee it.
13
SPEAKER_03
I m debating whether I should drive to the airport.
13
SPEAKER_02
Sure, if you re just gone for two days.
13
SPEAKER_02
The only problem that I can foresee...
13
SPEAKER_03
I ve never done it.
13
SPEAKER_02
Well, here s the thing.
13
SPEAKER_02
I do it often, but I only do it in Kristen s car because there s electric car only parking and there s always spots.
13
SPEAKER_02
But I have been there where I was like, fuck man, if we hadn t driven the electric car, I don t know that there d be a parking spot here.
13
SPEAKER_02
So that s a little scary.
13
SPEAKER_02
But I wonder if there s a way, a website that tracks.
13
SPEAKER_02
I mean, fuck, the parking lots are so automated and they tell you like whether there s spots.
13
SPEAKER_02
I wonder if you could find out ahead of time if there s a vacancy.
13
SPEAKER_03
And then I can just leave.
13
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
13
SPEAKER_03
Which would be really nice.
13
SPEAKER_03
So I ll figure that out.
13
SPEAKER_02
So that s a debate.
13
SPEAKER_01
So that s TVD.
13
SPEAKER_01
That s for Thursday.
13
SPEAKER_01
Take your Prius and you can park in there.
13
SPEAKER_03
No, you can t.
13
SPEAKER_01
He s got to tape the charger to the side of it.
13
SPEAKER_00
You charge it for like two days then?
13
SPEAKER_02
You just plug it in to satisfy them.
13
SPEAKER_02
And I m not even doing any real charging.
13
SPEAKER_02
I have to charge from my house, and then you have to put your credit card in.
13
SPEAKER_02
I mean, this is where people who call bullshit on some of this stuff, they have a point.
13
SPEAKER_02
I guess it incentivizes people to drive electric cars.
13
SPEAKER_02
But I don t know.
13
SPEAKER_02
I take that back.
13
SPEAKER_02
But I m sure people are charging their cars.
13
SPEAKER_03
Probably I mean, that d be a great place to do it if you go on a flight for a day.
13
SPEAKER_02
Yeah I just don t know who doesn t charge a car at night.
13
SPEAKER_02
Like I don t know many people who are like it s Panically looking for a charging station not many people I know in LA are driving more than a hundred miles You know the ranges on these things are like 200 miles and it s like three hours to charge it So if you re leaving it for two days, it s charged right away.
13
SPEAKER_01
I
13
SPEAKER_02
Yes, that s another interesting part.
13
SPEAKER_02
You charge your car every night, right?
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_01
Every couple nights, but at home.
13
SPEAKER_02
Right.
13
SPEAKER_02
And you re never looking for a charging opportunity.
13
SPEAKER_01
Only if we re driving to like Big Bear or Joshua Tree.
13
SPEAKER_02
Right.
13
SPEAKER_02
And you ll go one of those fast chargers things.
13
SPEAKER_02
And are those fun?
13
SPEAKER_02
Do you get like, I ve heard there s like some of them have cappuccino and stuff.
13
SPEAKER_00
Oh.
13
SPEAKER_00
I don t know about that.
13
SPEAKER_00
I don t do it enough for that.
13
SPEAKER_00
Cappuccino?
13
SPEAKER_03
My God.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_00
Sounds deluxe.
13
SPEAKER_02
I like that.
13
SPEAKER_03
Me too.
13
SPEAKER_03
Okie doke.
13
SPEAKER_03
Well, I hope everyone enjoyed that episode because I thought it was really nice.
13
SPEAKER_02
I loved it.
13
SPEAKER_02
I hope everyone listens to it.
13
SPEAKER_02
Me too.
13
SPEAKER_02
It had all the things.
13
SPEAKER_02
He s so fucking funny.
13
SPEAKER_03
Oh my God, he is so funny.
13
SPEAKER_02
You know, when you were re-listening to it, were you just dying?
13
SPEAKER_03
He s very, very funny.
13
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I love him.
13
SPEAKER_02
Is there an update about jogging?
13
SPEAKER_02
Only because it s been a hot button topic in the comments and I just wonder if you had any more.
13
SPEAKER_02
Actually, yes.
13
SPEAKER_02
Oh, tell me.
13
SPEAKER_03
I have been running at a different time.
13
SPEAKER_02
Great.
13
SPEAKER_02
Earlier, I imagine?
13
SPEAKER_03
Earlier, to try to avoid the situation.
13
SPEAKER_03
And also, I have a friend who knows someone in that group.
13
SPEAKER_02
Oh, interesting.
13
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_02
And have they talked to them?
13
SPEAKER_03
I don t know.
13
SPEAKER_03
I just said yesterday, I was like, this is what s going on.
13
SPEAKER_03
And she said, Oh, I know.
13
SPEAKER_03
I know someone who goes there.
13
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_03
There s like a patch of grass and they all meet because they invited her because she has a dog.
13
SPEAKER_02
Oh, okay.
13
SPEAKER_03
And she was like, well, it s far away from me, so.
13
SPEAKER_03
But yeah.
13
SPEAKER_02
We met an incredible dog today.
13
SPEAKER_03
We did.
13
SPEAKER_03
It was a really good dog.
13
SPEAKER_03
I liked it.
13
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God.
13
SPEAKER_02
I never met a dog like that.
13
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, it was really nice.
13
SPEAKER_03
It was so weird.
13
SPEAKER_02
She was nice.
13
SPEAKER_02
She looked like a wild animal, but she was so happy.
13
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_03
Well, she looked like a husky.
13
SPEAKER_02
I think she looked like a fox, she was tiny.
13
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, very fluffy.
13
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, so the update is I ve adjusted.
13
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
13
SPEAKER_02
Do you feel defeated by that adjustment?
13
SPEAKER_03
I m not happy about it, no, I m not.
13
SPEAKER_03
I also feel like it s funny to me that it s, as you say, a hot button issue.
13
SPEAKER_03
I don t look at the comments and I m not going to, especially if there s mean stuff about my opinion.
13
SPEAKER_02
Well, is disagreement mean?
13
SPEAKER_03
Well, I don t know, I m not on there.
13
SPEAKER_03
I assume yes, because the internet s mean.
13
SPEAKER_02
Oh, okay, that s probably a logical assumption.
13
SPEAKER_02
No, it s a disagreement.
13
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
13
SPEAKER_03
Anyway, I stand by that I feel that people should be aware of other people out in the world, but that s fine, I can adjust.
13
Okay.
13
SPEAKER_02
All right, I love you, have a blast in Atlanta and have fun with your mom and tell her that I love her and give her a huggy and a kissy.
13
SPEAKER_03
I will, I will.
13
SPEAKER_02
Thank Ashok for The Sim, it continues to be great.
13
SPEAKER_03
I will.
13
SPEAKER_03
All right.
13
SPEAKER_03
Pass it along.
13
SPEAKER_02
Please do.
13
SPEAKER_03
Okay, bye.
13
SPEAKER_03
Love you.
13
Love you.