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This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.
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Look at how fast, we re almost halfway through the year.
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Crazy, yeah.
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Are you proud of what you ve done in 2024 so far?
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I mean, you always want to do more, right?
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Life goes so fast, David.
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It s important to take a moment to celebrate your wins, make adjustments for the rest of the year.
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Therapy can help you take stock of your progress and set achievable goals for the next six months.
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Listen, therapy is the way to go.
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I did it for a while.
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And I think the thing that slowed me down was what they, is driving to Santa Monica in traffic once or twice a week.
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This is online.
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It s a great idea.
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Very convenient.
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It helps you.
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You ve got coping skills, how to set boundaries.
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I mean, there s so many things you can do here to be a better version of yourself.
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You can probably always sharpen it.
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Yeah, I mean, I had a therapist in Portland and I would commute and that was a pain.
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That s a long drive.
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I know it was 1300 miles one way, but you know, it s good therapist.
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But yeah, this one you can mix and match and your thoughts kind of control you and you want to master them.
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And when you talk to someone else, they re able to kind of discern it out.
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So if you re thinking of starting to give therapy a try, give BetterHelp a try.
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Yeah, it s entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, suited to your schedule.
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You fill out a questionnaire, get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist if you want to for any reason, no charge.
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Take a moment, visit betterhelp.com slash FOTW today.
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Get 10% off your first month.
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That s betterhelp, H-E-L-P.com slash F-O-T-W.
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Hi, I m David Spade.
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Hi, I m Dan Blarney.
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And together we re flying.
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Together we are here to pump, oh, sorry.
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Okay, let s do some questions.
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It s an experimental thing.
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We re gonna do questions and I m sure we ll never do it again.
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It ll suck so bad, but Dana, tell them what s going on.
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Anything you wanna ask us, because we get letters and stuff, or people stop us on the street, it s like, why are you wearing that?
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So if you re inquisitive, you wanna know about Saturday Night Live, or really anything, because I m a licensed therapist, so I m also good with advice.
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Yeah, so David has a...
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See, we don t have to pay a sound effect guy because we have silver tongue here.
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What was that, like spaceship type?
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That s a good one.
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It s like a Martian ship.
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What would you do with this one?
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Yeah, you could do with anything.
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What s going on so far?
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Hit us with your questions.
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It s flyonthewallatcadence13.com.
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What does the com stand for?
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Commissary?
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Yeah.
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I knew you d know it.
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All right, let s go to the first caller.
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We don t know these people.
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We ve never, no idea what the questions are.
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Hey, this is like a Vegas magician or a hypnotist.
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I ve never met you, right?
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I don t know what you re going to say.
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So this is off the cuff.
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Okay, pop them in.
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I don t even know the name or anything.
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Go.
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Go.
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And go.
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And anytime.
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And here we go.
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And three, two, one, and person.
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And action.
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This is called the awkward part.
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And dead air productions.
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Oh, here comes something.
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Hey.
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Hey, what s up guys?
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Hey, I like you already.
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It s Warren Brand.
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There you go.
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What s your name?
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Dave LaBar.
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Dave, hi Dave.
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How are you?
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Thanks for being our first guest on our first- Dave, I like what you ve done with that blank wall behind you.
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It s just paint so far, right?
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You re a minimalist.
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Are you Swedish?
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Are you Swedish?
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Because I am.
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You don t have a lot of furniture in there.
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No, no, this is my living room.
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It s just me and my roommate.
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So there s not much.
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I got a swingers.
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I don t know if you guys can see that, but it s a swingers.
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Oh, I remember, Vince Vaughn, Fabra.
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Oh, yeah?
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Sure.
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That s hip.
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Got a big TV, that s not too shabby.
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Okay, what do you got to say?
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What are you thinking, Dave?
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My question is, what SNL character of yours or movie character has been the most popular Halloween costume?
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Ah, well, Dave, Ed, I know what mine is.
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It s pretty obvious.
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Okay.
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I don t really, do you have a Hollywood?
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You know, this is a good question because it s probably easier with Dana.
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I m guessing you re gonna say Garth.
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Yes.
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Or church lady.
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Garth, the thing about Garth, I don t know why, but women with long blonde hair constantly come up to me and say, you won t believe this, I played Garth on Halloween.
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But when I raised my kids up in the mountains of Northern California, I thought, okay.
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I m getting away from Hollywood, getting away from all that nonsense.
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First Halloween, I m at the fireplace, I got stuff going, passing out the candy.
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I turn around, there s a kid, a big kid, I think it was a boy, anyway, dressed exactly like Garth on Halloween.
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I thought you can run, but you cannot hide.
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Oh man, that s great because every girl I know is like, I could play Garth, I have split ends.
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Well what s funny is me and my girlfriend are going as Wayne and Garth for Halloween.
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You are.
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Yeah.
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But here s my whole thing about it.
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I love Wayne s world.
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Dana I love you.
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But at the end of the night I kind of want to be with like a playboy bunny or like a sexy nurse instead of staring at Garth.
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Oh, she s Garth, yeah.
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It s a little, it gets a little meta, a little weird.
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You re going to undress Garth, is that what you re saying, Dave?
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Makes me feel kind of funny.
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Yeah.
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Well, just twist your face.
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Are you doing Wayne?
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Yeah, I m Wayne, she s Garth.
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Yeah, you re going to be chop, right.
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Just do the hair and go chop, right.
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But tell your, is it your girlfriend?
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Yeah, yeah.
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And how, you know, what s with this relationship?
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Is it taking a side turn?
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Here we go.
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Well, you re undressing her as my character, I think.
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She lives in Vegas, I live here in San Diego, so we re doing the long distance thing, so.
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otherwise known as cheating.
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No, I m kidding.
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Listen, here s what you do.
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When you get home, just pop out your contacts and she ll look like one of the real housewives.
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I don t know which one, but it ll be a little blurry and you can fake it with that Garth wig on.
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But let s, okay, now here s mine.
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I know it s already over, but now I m going to answer.
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I don t think you re going to be right, but go ahead.
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Well,
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I get some Gap Girl, but the most Halloween costumes I get is Joe Dirt, and we see a lot of people do grown-ups.
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But those aren t from SNL.
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When I hosted, I think we did, Matt Piedmont and I wrote something about
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a stripper chaperone named Shane and it kind of looked like Jodert, I think it was right before we did Jodert, but I sort of liked the name Shane and Jodert, I was gonna be the name Shane and then we changed it.
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But the Jodert, even Russell Westbrook went as Jodert.
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I saw that on Instagram.
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Jodert is a good look, right?
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It s a funny look, and it s pretty easy.
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They re not always that good.
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My favorite are when babies go as Jodert, because they dress up little kids and babies, and they re always cuter and funnier.
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And the girl goes as Brandy.
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Their dog goes as the dog.
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Yeah.
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But that s it.
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All right, man.
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Thank you very much.
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And I love San Diego, and I was just kidding about that other thing.
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Yeah.
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And appreciate you calling in, bud.
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And make sure if...
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You gotta put a ring on it at some point.
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Okay, easy.
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I m just saying.
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Oh, I gotta go, guys.
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Yeah, exactly.
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Okay, goodbye, everybody.
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Bye, yeah.
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Thanks, Dave.
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Love you.
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Yeah, you know, he could put a ring pop on it this week and then, oh, he s still there.
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Oh, he s still there, okay.
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Well, the thing I love about Dave and his question, oh, hi, Dave.
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All right, when you jump off, you can jump off the Zoom, because you don t want to be in the waiting room on someone s computer for the next five days.
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Okay, well that was good, I liked that one.
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It was the first one and he was good, okay.
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We broke the seal.
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That was easy.
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Okay, let s try another one.
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Let s see who s in there.
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You got personal, Dana.
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You got really in there.
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I like that you re digging a little bit.
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Well, I m a licensed therapist.
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Oh, he s got portrait background.
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Wow.
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Wow.
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You look like you re suspended in three-dimensional floating in space.
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I love it.
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Looks like he s in a commercial.
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I feel like I m stoned.
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Michael, what s up, buddy?
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What s he doing, Wayne?
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Hey, guys.
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Anyway, good to see you.
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Thanks for being part of our inaugural fan question.
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You know what, he knew we were gonna make fun of his apartment, so he blurted out.
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I blurted out, yeah.
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No, we re not gonna make fun of you.
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Okay, great, great.
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SPEAKER_01
No, it s fine, it looks cool.
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How are you today?
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SPEAKER_03
I m great.
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SPEAKER_03
I am.
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SPEAKER_03
I m still sort of in disbelief that this is actually happening.
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SPEAKER_03
When I got the email, I was like, is this a prank?
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SPEAKER_03
Like, how did I how did I get this?
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SPEAKER_03
How did I get the right to do this?
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But.
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It feels, this feels real.
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Thanks for your question.
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It s so odd to be on this side of the fence because for most of my life, I once saw Michael Landon in a restaurant when I was 10 years old from Bonanza and I couldn t speak.
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So the idea that you d be nervous around David Spade?
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Is that me?
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He s nervous around you.
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You should be nervous.
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All right, go ahead.
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I m sorry.
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I am nervous.
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Chris, yeah, no, it s all good.
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Just to set the stage on where I align, it s Joe Dirt, Master of Disguise, just the title.
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Yes, you re the one.
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You re the one.
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Joe Dirt was a hit.
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Master of Disguise is a great movie, thank you.
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SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
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Michael, okay, go ahead, what do you got?
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All right, here s the question.
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So we just,
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Be grateful to hear your guys  strategies, processes, music, and gearing up for a big day of work, whether that s on set or getting ready to perform or something along those lines.
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We d just love to hear about your guys  process there.
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God, we kind of asked Paul McCartney that a little bit before he went on, and now we re being asked.
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That s kind of cool.
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He was not as nervous as we were.
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I did hear that this morning, actually.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, that was fun.
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But I was starstruck.
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You know, I ve met him a couple times, but it was very nerve-wracking to see his face on the Zoom, just because he s a beetle.
1
SPEAKER_00
His question should be,
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SPEAKER_00
What was our prep in just talking to Paul McCartney?
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SPEAKER_00
That was what we were scared of for like three days.
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I had to go to I was on vacation in Wyoming with my family I had to go to a special hotel and and because I to get Wi-Fi and we didn t know if David was gonna make it on the zoom he was having technical issues he was you know Michael I
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wanted to kick myself.
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SPEAKER_00
There s so many things we wanted to ask him and then we just, I froze up.
1
SPEAKER_00
Dana was pretty smooth, but.
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I didn t know we could talk about the Beatles.
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SPEAKER_00
I know, once you did and he sort of got into it, we were like, oh, cause we don t want to offend him in any way, shape or form.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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And I once, one of the first, I met him at a party once and he was in line in the loo, sorry.
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SPEAKER_00
Really?
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Me and Paul say loo.
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This is getting interesting.
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And then I said, he was nice, but you know, he s all just high, high, you know, he s nice.
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But then I auctioned off tickets to see him at a fundraiser for Haiti.
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SPEAKER_00
And I wound up in, it s in my act, I do a whole thing on a day and it s hilarious.
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SPEAKER_00
But I wound up paying $125,000 for the ticket.
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SPEAKER_00
So the good news is Haiti is fixed, but the bad news is, I fixed it.
1
SPEAKER_00
But the bad news is I went to see Paul McCartney, I had to pay all that money, talk about upsell.
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SPEAKER_00
And then you re supposed to meet him
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SPEAKER_00
And I waited with Kanye and then they go, oh, he ll see you.
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SPEAKER_00
He had his guitar.
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SPEAKER_00
It s just he and his wife.
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SPEAKER_00
And then, um, oh, Joe Walsh came in just in that little backstage, a little, uh, half banger, honey wagon, whatever they call trailer.
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SPEAKER_00
And he was super nice.
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SPEAKER_00
And I never found out.
1
SPEAKER_00
Did he know?
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SPEAKER_00
It was because I bid on that because we called and said, hey, David, wanted to come see Paul and thought they knew what I meant.
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SPEAKER_00
They just said, oh, sure.
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SPEAKER_00
And he said, okay, come say hi.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he never mentioned it.
1
SPEAKER_00
I thought he d be like, holy shit, why?
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SPEAKER_01
They don t remember, you know, when you re the most famous person on the planet, you just, you know.
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But I ll answer your question as Paul.
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SPEAKER_01
You know, I get up, you know, I brush your teeth.
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I go, I do a teetha.
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SPEAKER_01
you know, I get a nice little brekkie, you know, I put on my best trousers, put a little water on my face, I m ready for me show.
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To your question though, if I m doing a 90 minute stand-up set, I try, I don t normally nap, but I ll try to close my eyes for a while, I ll look at my notes, close my eyes some more, I ll try to eat a light meal, salmon, right at a certain time frame, make sure I m hydrated, and really do some push-ups or something to be optimal as much as I can.
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David?
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Yeah, I m on this kind of a tour right now, and Dana and I both don t do stand-up all the time like we used to, but this year I m trying.
1
SPEAKER_00
Unbelievable.
1
SPEAKER_00
And when I gotta go out there and do an hour or whatever, even more.
1
SPEAKER_00
Dana does 90, which is even harder.
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SPEAKER_00
90 on the toes.
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SPEAKER_00
90, and he s fucking doing a lot of shit, and his voice, and he s physical.
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SPEAKER_00
I m out there mumbling my stupid act, but it is hard.
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SPEAKER_00
Wait a minute, you got tickets on sale.
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SPEAKER_00
It s hysterical, but I eat, I can eat almost anything right before I go on.
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SPEAKER_00
I ll eat a steak.
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SPEAKER_00
When I was on that Sandler tour, they had a steak backstage every night.
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SPEAKER_00
I ate a full steak and I went, and they re like, you re up next.
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SPEAKER_00
They re introing you.
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SPEAKER_00
And I go, okay, full steak.
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SPEAKER_01
David Spudler.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
And then I walk out.
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SPEAKER_00
Hello.
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SPEAKER_01
But now I know why you re so low key in your act.
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SPEAKER_00
I m falling asleep.
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SPEAKER_01
I m dying, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
But I will have a little bit of chocolate sometimes, like just a square of chocolate.
1
SPEAKER_02
So it s really all food oriented for you guys.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, I do drink a little.
1
SPEAKER_00
I usually have a few knocks, probably two, but that s it.
1
SPEAKER_00
But then I get scared, I don t want to be too buzzed, but I do have fun out there because it is nerve wracking.
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SPEAKER_00
I still for sure get nervous.
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SPEAKER_01
I feel like when people buy tickets and stuff, a responsibility to be optimal as much as possible.
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SPEAKER_01
Because I was on stage with 1,500 people and I hadn t done a full 90 in a while and I got to a really good bit and I was setting it up, bing, bang, boom.
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SPEAKER_01
What the fuck is the next line?
1
SPEAKER_01
What s bang?
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I only missed two, but that was very painful.
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I remember bing and boom.
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So what I did the next gig I had, I just repeated the bit in my hotel room over and over again.
1
SPEAKER_01
But you want to be optimal, you want to be good, you want to make them happy.
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SPEAKER_01
So you just want to feel good out there if you can.
1
SPEAKER_01
But a lot of times, you know what?
1
SPEAKER_01
You re kind of exhausted from travel.
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SPEAKER_01
That s the problem.
1
SPEAKER_00
Travel is just a dingy.
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SPEAKER_00
This weekend, Mike, I ll tell you, because when it s a theater, it is a different vibe when they re paying more,
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SPEAKER_00
They re excited.
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SPEAKER_00
You see them on Instagram, like saying, I m in line, I m this.
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SPEAKER_00
And I remember this weekend, I wanted to try some different bits.
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SPEAKER_00
So like Dana, if I haven t done one in a while, I have to say it out loud to figure out all the snags.
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SPEAKER_00
Cause you can get in the middle of it and you just stop and go.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t even know what the ending was.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t know where I was going with this.
1
SPEAKER_00
So you have to go beginning, middle, end, then you go, I got it.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then you got there.
1
SPEAKER_00
And that really, really, really helps.
1
SPEAKER_01
Do you have any follow-up or did that answer your question?
1
SPEAKER_01
No, that s great.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m grateful for that answer.
1
SPEAKER_02
But I guess my only follow-up would be like, what s your like, do you have like a pump-up music that you go for?
1
SPEAKER_02
Because I m getting ready to run the New York City Marathon, raise some money for cancer research.
1
SPEAKER_02
And it s like,
1
SPEAKER_02
Well, I m listening to Big Booty Mix right now.
1
SPEAKER_02
I don t know if you know what that is, if you ve heard of that.
1
SPEAKER_00
I know what big booties are.
1
SPEAKER_01
I would say a song that David loves, and I saw it the other night because my wife and I were watching the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and it was LL Cool J. Anything with energy, like Mama Said Knock You Out.
1
SPEAKER_01
That makes me laugh, it s such a funny song.
1
SPEAKER_01
Mama Said Knock You Out.
1
SPEAKER_01
Anything with high, just massive... Van Halen or whatever.
1
SPEAKER_00
What s the Zeppelin song I go up to?
1
SPEAKER_00
Whole lotta love, I go up to a whole lotta love.
1
SPEAKER_00
Zeppelin.
1
SPEAKER_00
I go up to Beastie Boys, Sabotage sometimes.
1
SPEAKER_00
In Arizona, I went up to Arizona by Scorpions.
1
SPEAKER_00
And anything gets you going.
1
SPEAKER_00
But Dano, by the way, should tell you, he s scribbling all these down, which is smart.
1
SPEAKER_00
He literally was like, oh, one more question.
1
SPEAKER_00
I thought this was a sports show.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, if you start getting tired toward the end of the marathon, just put on like Peter, Paul and Mary, like, as you re just slowing down.
1
SPEAKER_00
Dana does puff the magic dragon for the first, the last quarter mile.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
I ran a marathon, almost killed it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Dana, I d heard a little birdie told me.
1
SPEAKER_00
A little birdie told you what?
1
SPEAKER_00
That Dana, no, Adir from the old Rules of Engagement always wanted me to ask you, if you have some record or some running record or distance record, is that possible?
1
SPEAKER_01
For what, for show business?
1
SPEAKER_00
No, for being the oldest living comic.
1
SPEAKER_00
No, for being, you were like a marathon runner and you have some records because you re a good runner.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I ran a 427 mile at age 17.
1
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s not bad.
1
SPEAKER_01
See that?
1
SPEAKER_01
And I ran a marathon, but it was in August.
1
SPEAKER_01
I also was 17.
1
SPEAKER_01
It was like 90 degrees out.
1
SPEAKER_01
The first 10 miles were uphill.
1
SPEAKER_01
They discontinue it because people died, but I ran that in 304, which is, I could have run 240 at the time, but I was running a lot.
1
SPEAKER_01
People go, how d you do that?
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, I just ran a lot.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s all I did.
1
SPEAKER_00
So you re bumping him up because he s about to do the big monster one.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I ve been training since December and I would be like elated to run it under four hours.
1
SPEAKER_02
I can t even imagine what it would take to run it in three minutes and four seconds.
1
SPEAKER_02
That sounds... Well, three hours, but it s seven minute pace, but it was with a lot of hills.
1
SPEAKER_01
This one s flat.
1
SPEAKER_01
Don t go out too fast.
1
SPEAKER_01
Always stay aerobic, not anaerobic.
1
SPEAKER_01
So like just below a talking thing.
1
SPEAKER_01
And just make sure that you go out a little slower than you even want.
1
SPEAKER_01
And you want to have negative splits if you can.
1
SPEAKER_01
get to 13.1 halfway, that s when you, what I call, put the hammer down and dominate your competition.
1
SPEAKER_00
My advice is when you get finished, just show girls your step counter and just go, hey, did you do 400,000 steps today?
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s me.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s right.
1
SPEAKER_00
Can I buy you a drink?
1
SPEAKER_01
That s a billion steps.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, that s really cool you re doing that.
1
SPEAKER_01
Is your knees okay?
1
SPEAKER_01
Your hips?
1
SPEAKER_01
You got good shoes?
1
SPEAKER_01
You re all right?
1
SPEAKER_02
Yep.
1
SPEAKER_02
Everything s good right now.
1
SPEAKER_02
I m happy to be where I am.
1
SPEAKER_02
Good for you.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, congratulations.
1
SPEAKER_00
Good job.
1
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
1
SPEAKER_00
And thank you for checking in on us.
1
SPEAKER_02
Thank you guys.
1
SPEAKER_02
This is awesome.
1
SPEAKER_02
Take care.
1
SPEAKER_00
All right.
1
SPEAKER_00
Peace out, bro.
1
SPEAKER_02
Love you, bro.
1
SPEAKER_00
I feel like I was slumping during him, but I m back up straight.
2
SPEAKER_02
Let s see all the land cruises on my shirt.
2
SPEAKER_00
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2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, who invited?
2
SPEAKER_02
Hello.
2
SPEAKER_02
Hi, I m sorry.
2
SPEAKER_00
You re on.
2
SPEAKER_02
Kim.
2
SPEAKER_02
Hi.
2
SPEAKER_02
We both go like this.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s literally this small.
2
SPEAKER_02
You know how it puts in the corner of your Zoom?
2
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
All right, Kim, what s going on?
2
SPEAKER_02
You look very nice today.
2
SPEAKER_04
Oh, thank you.
2
SPEAKER_04
So I was just wondering about venue size.
2
SPEAKER_02
Does it matter?
2
SPEAKER_04
Does it matter?
2
SPEAKER_02
Does venue size matter?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, this is the question.
2
SPEAKER_02
You know what, go ahead.
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, go ahead, finish your thought.
2
SPEAKER_04
Well, so the thought just simply was that, you know, first of all, I have a very hard like 10 row rule.
2
SPEAKER_04
If I have to sit more than 10 rows back, I m not going to see anything.
2
SPEAKER_04
So, but when I went and saw David recently, I was in the front row and, you know, you re yakking with a nine-year-old kid, you know, in the front row.
2
SPEAKER_03
Do you remember it?
2
SPEAKER_04
Back to the guy next to me.
2
SPEAKER_04
So it s kind of like, it feels very spontaneous and very personal if you re sitting in the audience, right?
2
SPEAKER_04
So as you scale up in venue size, at what point do you lose that and how does it actually change either the material you deliver or how you deliver it?
2
SPEAKER_04
And does that connection really, and what s the largest venue you ve actually ever been in where you felt like maybe you lost that connection?
2
SPEAKER_03
I ll start.
2
SPEAKER_03
Kind of a sophisticated question.
2
SPEAKER_03
Because she was at- Are you a performer?
2
SPEAKER_03
Or just- No.
2
SPEAKER_04
No, I spend a lot of time with performers, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
You go to a lot of shows too, right?
2
SPEAKER_02
With performers, okay.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
I love going to shows.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m like you where I will spend money on scalping tickets because, or whatever, just to try to get up close, or it s not worth it to me.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I,
2
SPEAKER_02
I think you re talking about Saratoga possibly, the show.
2
SPEAKER_02
The winery there.
2
SPEAKER_02
Was the kid with you?
2
SPEAKER_02
Was it your kid?
2
SPEAKER_04
No, it wasn t my kid.
2
SPEAKER_04
No, they were sitting a little farther down and then- There was like a 10 year old in the front row.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh, I ve had that.
2
SPEAKER_03
You go out and like eight or 10 year olds there.
2
SPEAKER_03
And then, you know, you think, oh, that s a fuck bomb.
2
SPEAKER_03
And that s a little too sophisticated.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
But I had fun with this kid.
2
SPEAKER_02
I actually liked that show a lot.
2
SPEAKER_02
It was outdoors.
2
SPEAKER_02
It was beautiful.
2
SPEAKER_02
Great for an outdoor theater.
2
SPEAKER_02
And it was fun to refer back this kid out of court.
2
SPEAKER_02
I did not know he was going to be there.
2
SPEAKER_02
I didn t know.
2
SPEAKER_02
I mean you just walk out and you re kind of playing off in between jokes.
2
SPEAKER_02
You look around.
2
SPEAKER_02
You got his name.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t know his name.
2
SPEAKER_02
You didn t get his name?
2
SPEAKER_02
Because as soon as you go, hey Michael, what do you think Michael?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I go back to him.
2
SPEAKER_02
One of the things also is you can t really change the act for this one kid to rip off the audience because you start going like Dana s saying, I can t say this joke, unless you mention it and then you do it anyway, like it s kind of funny, but I don t wanna, I only change it if my mom s there.
2
SPEAKER_02
Honestly, I only change it.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh really?
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh.
2
SPEAKER_02
But with venue size, I wish, the ones we re doing now are pretty big, about 2,025.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I would say more than that, I would like to have a video screen.
2
SPEAKER_02
Because I make a lot of faces.
2
SPEAKER_02
Dana s the same way.
2
SPEAKER_02
A lot of the goofy stuff is here.
2
SPEAKER_02
and I want everyone to see in the balcony and everything.
2
SPEAKER_03
The big screens do help.
2
SPEAKER_03
I played a 4,700 seat county fair last weekend in Fresno and I was halfway.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, and it was gigantic and you just have to pump more energy and remember not to get too tied up with the people in the first row and then there was a little like a
2
SPEAKER_03
band started playing rhythm and blues really loud in the middle of my act at another kiosk at the state fair.
2
SPEAKER_03
I just started singing along with them.
2
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, it depends on the room.
2
SPEAKER_03
Sometimes rooms are big and they play kind of small and vice versa.
2
SPEAKER_03
But if you can get up front, but first row, that s a little tight.
2
SPEAKER_03
You re in the light then a little bit, right?
2
SPEAKER_03
You might get lit up too.
2
SPEAKER_04
Well, you know, I, so I don t worry so much about that.
2
SPEAKER_04
I try to be very like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_04
But, but anyway, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_04
So, so thanks for the answer.
2
SPEAKER_04
Appreciate it.
2
SPEAKER_02
Hopefully there s a little kid next to you.
2
SPEAKER_02
No, that was a fun show.
2
SPEAKER_02
I hope you thought so because I liked that show.
2
SPEAKER_02
We had a great time.
2
SPEAKER_04
Oh my God, I actually laughed so hard I blew perfectly good vodka out my nose.
2
SPEAKER_02
Literally.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh good.
2
SPEAKER_02
It was really- Wow, that s a t-shirt.
2
SPEAKER_02
Perfectly good vodka out my nose.
2
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, it was a lot of fun.
2
SPEAKER_02
I really did enjoy it.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s great.
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, if Dana comes up there, see him next time and I appreciate it.
2
SPEAKER_02
Thank you.
2
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, thank you very much.
2
SPEAKER_02
All right, bye-bye.
2
SPEAKER_03
Pleasure, thank you.
2
SPEAKER_02
She s very sweet.
2
SPEAKER_02
Look, she had a good question and then she wrapped it up, which is never, you know.
2
SPEAKER_03
I know, that s- Which is nice.
2
SPEAKER_03
That was unusual.
2
SPEAKER_02
She gave the whoa sign like too much guy, just is it good or bad?
2
SPEAKER_03
They re kind of sophisticated questions about performing.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, we got a side pony.
2
SPEAKER_02
Look at that, all the hairs to the side.
2
SPEAKER_02
There s a name for that.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t know if it s side pony.
2
SPEAKER_01
I have my wrong name, sorry.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh yeah, it s Alice?
2
SPEAKER_02
It s not Alice?
2
SPEAKER_01
It s not Alice.
2
SPEAKER_01
I write murder mysteries and I guess I was Alice last time.
2
SPEAKER_03
I like that.
2
SPEAKER_03
You write murder mysteries?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, just as a side thing.
2
SPEAKER_02
When did Bob Ross paint that painting behind you?
2
SPEAKER_02
Put a little flower here, we re gonna put some smoke, some fun smoke.
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay, go ahead, what do you got for us?
2
SPEAKER_01
I love you guys so much.
2
SPEAKER_01
I just have to say that I ve been watching you since I was five years old on TV.
2
SPEAKER_01
So love you, me and my sisters.
2
SPEAKER_01
We all love you.
2
SPEAKER_01
We watched you on Saturday Night Live.
2
SPEAKER_01
We love all your movies.
2
SPEAKER_01
But Dana, we really identified with your movie Opportunity Knack.
2
SPEAKER_03
You did.
2
SPEAKER_01
Which I ve never heard you talk about on this podcast yet.
2
SPEAKER_01
But we loved it because of all the scheming and pranking, because that s our favorite pastime to do together.
2
SPEAKER_01
So, just like what your movie s about.
2
SPEAKER_03
There was a lot of scheming and pranking, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Tell us the logline, sort of, of Opportunity for the People.
2
SPEAKER_03
Well, it was a guy who was sort of on the lam and he hid out in this house, right?
2
SPEAKER_03
And pretended to be really rich.
2
SPEAKER_03
And then, you know, to get away from the cops and stuff, he did characters and he manipulated people.
2
SPEAKER_03
You probably know it better than I do at this point.
2
SPEAKER_03
I was about to say Dana s like going in there.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then the house you were living in, the family thought you were the guy that was supposed to be there.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so you had to fall in love with their daughter
2
And then they found out.
2
SPEAKER_01
I like this.
2
SPEAKER_03
God, it s a better movie than I thought.
2
SPEAKER_03
I should have read the script.
2
SPEAKER_02
I saw it back then.
2
SPEAKER_02
I should have read the script.
2
SPEAKER_02
I saw it back then and I thought it s funny because, you know, Dana, it s like,
2
SPEAKER_02
a classic Hollywood thing, like get a guy that s funny at characters that can play anything.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then they find a movie finally goes, oh, he can do this.
2
SPEAKER_02
Cause I think the poster, you had your hair greased back.
2
SPEAKER_02
You dressed all suave.
2
SPEAKER_03
I was, you know, didn t know what I was doing, but it was, it ended up pretty good.
2
SPEAKER_03
People do like it, you know.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s really good.
2
SPEAKER_01
So my question is about pranks.
2
SPEAKER_01
What epic pranks happened backstage at Saturday Night Live?
2
SPEAKER_02
Thanks, let me think It wasn t really a prank, but I remember Chris wiped his butt with my USA Today once I guess that s that s probably the biggest crank That s it little coat What?
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh, well.
2
SPEAKER_03
You know, we didn t have much time.
2
SPEAKER_03
We were just scrambling, trying to put the show together.
2
SPEAKER_03
There wasn t much time for frivolity in that way.
2
SPEAKER_03
Don t you think?
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, of course.
2
SPEAKER_03
I know you re trying to get your sketch together, but look at this big, funny clown nose.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it s not like the Ocean s Eleven set where George Clooney has a fake snake and he s throwing it at Brett.
2
SPEAKER_02
But I will say, yeah, the scene in Tommy Boy was based, Chris Farley and I had an office where
2
SPEAKER_02
You remember Dane, like I m facing a wall with that wooden desk and a legal pad.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then Chris is behind me doing absolutely nothing.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I was writing and he would go, David, turn around.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I go, no.
2
SPEAKER_02
And he goes, David.
3
SPEAKER_02
He s like a child.
3
SPEAKER_02
I go, Chris, cause I had a little Levi jacket.
3
SPEAKER_02
I go, if this is fat guy in a little coat, it s not funny anymore.
3
SPEAKER_02
And he goes, no, it s not.
3
SPEAKER_02
If you re wearing my little coat and you re going to say fat guy in a little coat, I don t want it because I have to write.
3
SPEAKER_02
And he goes, no, it s a new thing.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then I turned around and he s got it on and he goes, fat guy in a little coat.
3
SPEAKER_02
Don t you quit on it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well Farley was probably the chief.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
So that, that turned into,
3
SPEAKER_02
a dead spot in Tommy Boy where we re just selling brake pads.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then you go, oh, what if we threw this in there just to spice it up a bit?
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, I love it.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s the kind of funny thing that lasts forever because it doesn t really, where s the joke?
3
SPEAKER_01
It s just a fat guy put on a little coat, but it s so Chris.
3
SPEAKER_02
And he moves around, he moves around.
3
SPEAKER_01
Guess what?
3
SPEAKER_01
I m a fat guy in a little coat.
3
SPEAKER_01
So that s why it s so funny.
3
SPEAKER_01
And he ripped the coat.
3
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, Chris was a prankster.
3
SPEAKER_01
He would just burst into the writer s room naked at midnight.
3
SPEAKER_01
Hi, everybody!
3
SPEAKER_02
But he was one of a kind.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s probably the most, the closest we had to pranks was just Chris constantly being naked.
3
SPEAKER_01
And one time Dennis Miller had the fake rattlesnake egg thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
Open it up, Carvey, it s a gift.
3
SPEAKER_01
Popped out of me.
3
SPEAKER_01
I thought it was a rattler for a second.
3
SPEAKER_01
Thought it made its way from fucking Scottsdale.
3
SPEAKER_01
Do you do pranks on your friends?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, my sister is the mastermind and she just tells me what to do because I don t have any shame.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I just do it to make my friends laugh.
3
SPEAKER_00
So, like, she told me to put on white pants and then put chocolate frosting on my butt.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then I walk into stores and I just say, Angela, where s the bathroom?
3
SPEAKER_00
And then when they point, then you pivot perfectly so that they
3
SPEAKER_02
And then someone quietly films, they film it?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
And they show.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so it s really stupid.
3
SPEAKER_02
You could do a reality show on Pluto television.
3
SPEAKER_02
She s like, then we take a can of tomato soup.
3
SPEAKER_02
We re like, okay, that s enough.
3
SPEAKER_02
On the call sheet, it would say, butt poofs prank, you know?
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, well.
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, I like that she s saying that she does them too, because they re hard to kind of think up.
3
SPEAKER_02
And you know what you have, and this sounds crazy?
3
SPEAKER_02
She has phone fingers.
3
SPEAKER_02
Good iPhone fingers.
3
SPEAKER_02
You know when girls take a selfie like this, they go like that in the mirror?
3
SPEAKER_02
Look at that, go like that with your fingers.
3
SPEAKER_02
See, she s got the little fingers in the mouth.
3
SPEAKER_01
Cool fingers.
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_02
This is something now I notice and I can t not notice on people.
3
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_02
But that really probably wasn t why you were calling.
3
SPEAKER_02
But anyway, thank you for calling.
3
SPEAKER_02
Thank you.
3
SPEAKER_02
Do my giant hands bother you?
3
SPEAKER_02
I do it like this, I go, are my hands too big?
3
SPEAKER_01
Is that a problem with people?
3
SPEAKER_02
It was just, it was a COVID thing, you know.
3
SPEAKER_02
They go, it all grew.
3
SPEAKER_02
Thank you, Angela.
3
SPEAKER_02
And keep listening if you get a chance.
3
SPEAKER_02
And keep on pranking.
3
SPEAKER_02
Appreciate you.
3
SPEAKER_02
She should have like that, keep on pranking trucking shirt.
3
SPEAKER_01
I love the innocence of saying smearing chocolate or something on your pants and walking around the store, but did it with such innocence and frivolity.
3
SPEAKER_01
All right, well folks,
3
SPEAKER_01
You heard it here first.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, do we have folks?
3
SPEAKER_02
I guess.
3
SPEAKER_01
We have Greg and Heather.
3
SPEAKER_02
If you wanna write in.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, ladies and gentlemen, I hope you enjoyed the show.
3
SPEAKER_02
Fly on the wall at cadence13.com.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s the one, three, right?
3
SPEAKER_02
Cadence13.com.
3
SPEAKER_02
Dot com.
3
SPEAKER_02
And that was fun.
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SPEAKER_02
I actually liked doing that.
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So we really got in touch with the people that listened.
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Really nice people.
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Saw our crowd a little bit and ate some watermelon.
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So thank you and we ll see you next time.
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Good night.
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This has been a podcast presentation of Cadence 13.
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Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes.
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Available now for free wherever you get your podcasts.
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No joke, folks.
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Fly on the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13, executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corcoran of Cadence 13, and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment.
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The show s lead producer is Greg Holtzman, with production and engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Basil of Cadence 13.