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This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.
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Look at how fast, we re almost halfway through the year.
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Crazy, yeah.
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Are you proud of what you ve done in 2024 so far?
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I mean, you always want to do more, right?
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Life goes so fast, David.
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It s important to take a moment to celebrate your wins, make adjustments for the rest of the year.
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Therapy can help you take stock of your progress and set achievable goals for the next six months.
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Listen, therapy is the way to go.
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I did it for a while.
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And I think the thing that slowed me down was what they, is driving to Santa Monica in traffic once or twice a week.
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This is online.
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It s a great idea.
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Very convenient.
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It helps you.
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You ve got coping skills, how to set boundaries.
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I mean, there s so many things you can do here to be a better version of yourself.
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You can probably always sharpen it.
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Yeah, I mean, I had a therapist in Portland and I would commute and that was a pain.
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That s a long drive.
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I know it was 1300 miles one way, but you know, it s good therapist.
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But yeah, this one you can mix and match and your thoughts kind of control you and you want to master them.
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That s betterhelp, H-E-L-P.com slash F-O-T-W.
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You guys, Heidi Gartner s on the show, and great, she s on the SNL right now.
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Heidi Gartner, yes.
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We don t have that many that are on right now, so that s great to talk to her.
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And I want to tell Dana before we start that I did cheat on us and went and did another podcast just because the man, the myth, Mike Tyson asked me to come over there.
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Oh, Hot Boxin .
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Hot Boxin .
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Love it.
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By the way, Dana, I swear to God, I didn t get Hot Boxin  was Hot Boxin  where you get stoned, and I didn t even get anything to do with boxing.
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Well, I didn t get any of it.
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I thought it was like hot boxing, like this is really, really hot boxing.
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I thought it was just about really being a great fighter.
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No, we missed all of it across the board.
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So it s all about marijuana.
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It s all like you re in a box, slowly dying while he smokes tons of weed.
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And then he asks you questions.
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So it s pretty fun.
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I am not a prude, but my weed days are sort of behind me, but I talk a big game.
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But he, it s optional.
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He gives you, they go, Mike, give him your, first of all, he comes in in like dolphin shorts and no shoes.
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Of course, he s a champ.
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He s such a fucking stud.
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Come on, he s a champ.
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The champ is here.
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He s gotta solve inflation with his champ.
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Yeah, a little Biden snuggle.
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You know what?
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He came from Biden.
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He came from Biden?
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Biden was on Kimmel and he was doing a bit and he goes, the traffic s gonna be snarled.
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So he came over, he was a little late.
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Then they go, and there s, you know, 45 people there.
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Barefoot with dolphin shorts.
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Yeah, literally nothing.
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Dolphin shorts are the kind they wear to Hooters.
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These weren t orange, but they were white.
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Anyway, he has great legs.
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Don t think I didn t notice.
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And he comes in.
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All the power comes from the legs, Greg.
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And I didn t even tell him how I got, not beat up, I did talk about my one fight in sixth grade.
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But anyway, he has sort of another friend of his from the San Diego Chargers, who s, I think his name s Sebastian, he s a great guy, and they would pepper me with questions, and Mike would sort of tune out a little bit here and there, but he was fucking funny, and he s very cool, and he s very respectful, nice, and it was just fun that he knew me, and he d go, David,
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I mean, I don t want to be mean to Mike Tyson, but that s... Well, I called him afterwards.
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Yeah, how d it go?
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And he was happy about it.
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I mean, he is the champ.
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I go, well, what was David like?
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David, you know, he was so fast with his jokes.
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You know, I felt like he was punching me with his jokes.
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I couldn t understand.
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What he was basically saying, you know, so I got scared and I was crying behind my eyes No one could see me because I thought what the fuck is this guy talking about this fucking guy who worked with that fat guy Chris You know that guy who s so fucking funny, and I was so fucking high, but I love that guy I really do man because he can do two jokes
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Faster than most comedians could do one joke.
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Sorry to get emotional.
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I m Mike Tyson.
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I got dolphin shorts and no shoes.
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I went and I slipped into Fauci for a second.
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I got the COVID!
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Ha ha ha!
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How d the mass work for you motherfucker?
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No, anyway, yeah, yeah Tyson has gigantic mitts mitts and it is interesting my hand is like this But David he s making a little fit.
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It sounds like a little when you re next to someone that if you
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If you pissed him off accidentally and Tyson just went, even from a seated position, one right cross, then you re dead.
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It s weird to talk to the guy, how you doing, how you doing?
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And you know if he just goes, boom, he could kill you.
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Yeah, people say, would you let him hit you for a million dollars?
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Not that many people, but some people say that.
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And I said,
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Who needs a million dollars that badly to be in a wheelchair the rest of your life and not know what s happening?
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If he hit you as hard as he could in the face, it s over.
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Life s over, everything s over.
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My neck would snap so fast.
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It s like those little skinny pretzels.
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And so, when Mike was right there, I said, Mike, a guy that looked a lot like you beat the fuck out of some dude in an airplane.
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And he goes, yeah, it wasn t me.
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It wasn t me, I didn t even do it.
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And then all 85 people asked.
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He came to me and Lovett s show in Vegas at the SLS Hotel and said, the champ s out there.
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The fucking champ.
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And I go, and then John does John s act.
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Hello, are you a gay audience?
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You know, I mean, it goes really downtown.
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John has a very mature act.
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So later, hey, is the champ coming back?
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And the guy, he went home.
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Yeah, but just because I couldn t, I had to get home, you know, because there were so many punch lines.
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It s like getting punched in the face with so many punch lines.
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Was he smoking there too?
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He s not smoking.
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It s a vape thing.
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Oh, here s the best part.
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He s got an edible.
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So he s sitting here, right?
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So I m there and Sebastian s there.
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So I m like, blah, blah, blah.
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Sometimes I just take the reins because
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He d just go, wrong Missy.
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And I go, oh, the wrong Missy.
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Well, what had happened was with that, and you know, I d be 30 minutes.
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So, but he had blueberries and he had the munchies.
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Is that what it was?
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That s what the funny part was.
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Oh, he just crunches them.
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He had blueberries and they re way over here.
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So the awkward me of going, ah, why aren t they over there?
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Cause he goes like this, okay, hang on.
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And then he goes, er, moves the mic.
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And then he goes.
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What are you doing, David?
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It s a big thing, blueberries.
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And he starts talking, but you can t hear him.
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So someone has to crawl in and go,
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back, so you can hear him, and then he goes, what do you think of that?
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And I go, I didn t hear, what do you ask me?
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And then I just make up an answer, and then he goes, he wants some more blueberries.
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It s never ending supply.
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But you notice what he does, I didn t know, I thought they were like peanuts or something, because he will take them in his hand, and then he kind of shakes them.
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Like peanuts?
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Yeah, just kind of shaking them in his hand, and then he pops them.
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Yeah, like in the 70s.
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First I gotta shake them.
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You don t get all the blueberry juice out of them.
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And then it was just this for the next hour.
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And I m like, Mike, why don t, you know, you guys should put a, one of you 85 people should put them here before he gets here.
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I didn t know it s the one I watched.
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I don t know who the guest was.
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No, but they cut it all out, Dan.
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I was there live.
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It was fucking in the moment.
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Oh, and then so they come in, they jump cut, because someone is bringing his mic to the channel.
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It was so hilarious, because there s 85 people, and they re like, who s going to do it?
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And one guy s like this.
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Like in the army comes down motherfucking dog shit Mike breathe on it it flips.
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Oh, it s got some garbage We have technical issues.
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We re not it s smartless.
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I ll say that we say that Mike Tyson is a very nice guy Or are we cuz cuz I he s the most in the age of authenticity He s the ultimate cuz he just says everything he s feeling.
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I just want to kill this guy so bad.
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I wanted just Annihilate him, you know, and all he was doing was give me an airplane ticket, but I just thought
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Myself gonna kill the guy s poking the bear that s literally on the plane He keeps fucking with him and then Mike just turns on beats a shit out of my love it and I said by the way Mike if you do one of these exhibition fights, I don t care which Youtuber ask you you beat the fuck out of me.
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Promise me.
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He goes he because he s like I go Who s the fucking boss and you are and I love that.
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You re number one and you beat his ass.
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Okay now
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And that was the David Mike Tyson story.
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Heidi Gardner.
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That was sort of the story, but we ll chop that down to 28 minutes.
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We did the best we could.
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The flesh and flesh has never been this high.
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Heidi Gardner, lovely young lady.
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Heidi Gardner is a current Superstar Cast member on Saturday Night Live.
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A lot of great characters, a lot of fun things to talk about.
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She was a hair stylist, so I get to ask her.
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For 10 years.
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To give me a makeover on what I should do with this garbage beard and this stupid hair.
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I want her cause my, my hair is just, you know, it s, it s like a game of risk.
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There s only so many soldiers and so much territory.
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So I gotta, I gotta fluff and fold and comb it back.
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But I got some soldiers up front that left over.
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A lot of troops in the back are receiving.
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If Heidi Gardner can make sense of my hair, I will give her a hundred dollars.
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Let s guess if she gives us different hairstyles because everyone says we look
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Same, so they might say, Dana, you do this, and then she ll say.
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Well, I m Irish, Scottish, and Norwegian, what are you?
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SPEAKER_02
Why do we look the same?
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SPEAKER_02
No, we look similar, I mean, hair wise.
1
SPEAKER_02
What s your background, aren t you German or something?
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SPEAKER_01
I m German, Irish, and English, like the most boring ones, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Hmm.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
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So, well, we kind of look the same because during the pandemic and I m in my 60s, I go, I don t know if I can rock the bangs anymore.
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SPEAKER_02
Jagger can, but I went back, but you went back early so that I kind of copied you.
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SPEAKER_02
I had a picture of you.
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SPEAKER_02
Oh, I used to have bangs, and then someone said, grow up, you fucking idiot.
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SPEAKER_02
Well, I always wanted to have a Paul McCartney haircut.
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And my whole life, I wanted to have a Beatle haircut.
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And my dad would shave our heads, me and my three brothers.
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We d be in the kitchen.
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We d just look like cue balls.
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My mom would come in and go, Dana, in the side pocket.
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Anyway.
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Heidi Gardner, here she is, guys.
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True story.
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Heidi Gardner, an extraordinarily talented comedian on Saturday Night Live.
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Funny, crazy, neurotic characters.
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Super commitment.
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Here she is.
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Enjoy.
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Not only have we been going, but it s almost over.
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Well, thank you guys so much for this.
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Look at Heidi, Heidi s got good teeth.
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Thank you.
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And good skin.
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I wanna meet your dermatologist because you have very nice skin.
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Anyway, we started that way with Rob Schneider too.
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That s our first question.
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No.
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That s our first two compliments no matter what.
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Gotta drink water, lots of water.
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So anyway, we re narcissists.
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Magnesium.
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We like to talk about ourselves, Heidi.
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So there s no pressure on you because we love everything coming back to us.
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So anyway, how are you?
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I did a deep dive on Heidi Gardner last night and it was so much fun.
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I ll start at Dana, because you re like kerfuffling, you don t know what you re doing.
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I m wandering around, I just have like, let me see.
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Dana, maybe if you notice, Heidi, me and you all have slightly similar hair, and if she was a hairstylist, we have to get a makeover.
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So Heidi, I did my hair the best I could for this, and I just, you have to give us tips.
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Well, I will say, I agree.
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I think we all basically have the same hairstyle.
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So I don t even know that I would give you a tip because I think we all have the nice waterfall going.
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Swoop.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Do you think you have a bob, a fob, or a lob?
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SPEAKER_00
I think I have a bob.
1
SPEAKER_02
I don t know what mine is, look.
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SPEAKER_02
Look, I m from another era.
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SPEAKER_02
I was born during Eisenhower s first administration.
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So to have hair to push around and be a bully with your head is just lucky.
1
SPEAKER_02
But you have kind of a bob on one side and then a very cool long bang on the other, which is very hip.
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SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
1
SPEAKER_02
Who cuts your hair?
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SPEAKER_00
Her name s Teddy.
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T-E-D-D-I.
1
SPEAKER_02
Okay, how can I reach her?
1
SPEAKER_02
Does she do Zoom cuts?
1
SPEAKER_01
She does do Zoom cuts.
1
SPEAKER_01
Heidi, do you get your, when you were in KC, is that where you were from, KC?
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
But I don t mean to sound like Wikipedia, but when you re in KC, is that Lawrence?
1
SPEAKER_01
Is that something?
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Lawrence is a college town about 45 minutes from Kansas City.
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I went to college there for two years.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you did?
1
SPEAKER_00
Uh-huh.
1
SPEAKER_01
Did you know that the lovely Kate Spade went there?
1
SPEAKER_00
I do.
1
SPEAKER_00
Did you know that?
1
SPEAKER_01
You can t have that many famous people.
1
SPEAKER_00
She s famous.
1
SPEAKER_01
You have Sudeikis, right?
1
SPEAKER_01
And Paul Rudd, is that all the same school?
1
SPEAKER_00
No.
1
SPEAKER_00
So, okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, Paul Rudd, I do think that
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, yeah, Sudeikis went to KU too.
1
SPEAKER_00
We also have Eric Stone Street, but I don t think he went to KU.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m always surprised when comedians have any sort of education.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes, yes!
1
SPEAKER_01
That is a comedian right there.
1
SPEAKER_01
I have about eight credits in anthropology from Arizona State and I might pick up the other 160 this summer and finish it up.
1
SPEAKER_02
I got a degree from San Francisco State.
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SPEAKER_02
Is that a bad one?
1
SPEAKER_02
It s a shitbox, horrible school.
1
SPEAKER_02
This is years ago, and it was a joke.
1
SPEAKER_02
It was an absolute joke.
1
SPEAKER_02
I spent two years learning how to, because it was broadcast and communications, how to like cue up a vinyl LP, and then CDs came in, so I was fucked.
1
SPEAKER_02
But I got it in the mail months later.
1
SPEAKER_02
What a waste.
1
SPEAKER_02
My mom threw it out by accident.
1
SPEAKER_02
Listen, Heidi, what I m here to say is, so you,
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SPEAKER_02
You drop out of college, let s go a little linear for a sec, and then you, so then you go to L.A., and when you went to L.A., you didn t think you were gonna be a sketch player on SNL, or, well, you were voted most likely to be, so your friends thought- That s the craziest thing.
1
SPEAKER_02
Your friends in high school tagged you for being funny, right?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, and so, how were you funny in high school?
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SPEAKER_02
Were there seeds of what you re doing now on SNL there?
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SPEAKER_02
because it seems like you re very astute at playing young, clueless, neurotic women, and it s new.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s a genre, but the way you re doing it, because I was watching you last night, is at a whole other new level.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s really actually kind of brilliant, but I don t mind gushing, because I just do, and people hate me for it.
1
SPEAKER_02
So just take us back to your senior year in high school.
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SPEAKER_02
Do you have secret dreams of what happened to you?
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SPEAKER_00
I don t think that I did.
1
SPEAKER_00
I will say that growing up in Missouri, it just didn t, not that Kansas City is that small, but there just, to me at least, was not a path to this at all.
1
SPEAKER_00
The only path I had was being, I mean, I was absolutely obsessed with movies, TV, pop culture, music.
1
SPEAKER_00
SNL, comedy, everything.
1
SPEAKER_00
But I just thought I was always going to be the person who knew everything about that and could quote every movie.
1
SPEAKER_00
And come close to the voices maybe.
1
SPEAKER_01
But there s no chance.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was sort of like her where there s no chance you re thinking you re doing that.
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SPEAKER_01
It s just too big.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s too above, right?
1
SPEAKER_00
Too above.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was enough for me to be obsessed with it.
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SPEAKER_00
And the closest I probably came to it, which is maybe why
1
SPEAKER_00
I got voted that was like, if I was at, I mean, this is more kind of like middle school.
1
SPEAKER_00
But if I was at a sleepover, like I was the one who was picked to do all the prank calls, like I would do one.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then I would be like, Okay, Christine, like your turn.
1
SPEAKER_00
No, you have to do it again.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like,
1
SPEAKER_02
Would you do voices and stuff?
1
SPEAKER_02
You would change your voice and be somebody else, right?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, pretty intense ones.
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SPEAKER_00
There are some that I go back to that are very fun, some that make me really cringe, that are kind of harassing.
1
SPEAKER_02
Back then, it was fine.
1
SPEAKER_02
Like calling up a restaurant or something or stuff like that and ordering crazy food?
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, I used to do this one where, so there was this local radio station, Mix 93.3, and the DJ at the drive home at five was Dennis Pryor, and he was the coolest guy ever at that age.
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And so I would do this thing where I would call people and I d be like, hey, this is Dennis Pryor from Nick s 93.3 doing random phone calls.
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And people would immediately be like, oh, my God.
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I mean, I would say doing random phone calls.
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I m like, oh, my God, I love Nick s 93.3.
1
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And I m like, you ve got a chance to win tickets to this weekend s Chiefs game if you can get this trivia question correct.
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SPEAKER_01
Chiefs, local thing, chiefs.
1
SPEAKER_02
So wait a minute, so you re doing the voice of Dennis.
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They re like, I thought Dennis was a girl.
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And you re like, that s whatever, or a guy.
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I thought it was a guy.
1
SPEAKER_02
Is it Denise Pryor or was it a guy?
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SPEAKER_02
And you were lowering your voice, pretending to sound like a guy.
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I was lowering my voice.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was asking really basic questions like, you know, who starred opposite Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic?
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and they d be like, hey, Whistler.
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And then I would say, come on down to the station and pick up your cream.
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So then it turns out my mom, who is a travel agent, actually did Dennis Pryor s travel.
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And so he comes in to book his Cancun trip and she s like, how are things down at the station?
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It was like, they re great, but some idiot keeps calling.
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Oh my God.
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And telling them they won free tickets.
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And so we ve got people coming down to the station, we don t have the tickets.
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And she the whole time knew, that s my daughter.
1
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Can I ask you for, I wanna ask you two things real quick, but how was the dynamic between your parents and yourself?
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Did you have a cheerleader in one of them like, Heidi, you can be and do anything you want, or were they more pragmatic or all of the above or what?
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They were definitely, like, my parents are, I describe them as, like, the coolest, like, 80s, early 90s people.
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Like, they had the look.
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SPEAKER_01
And I think they divorced when I was, like, five and a half.
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But I can only imagine that, like, when they were together, they were, like, fire for good or bad.
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They were always very,
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It s weird.
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SPEAKER_01
I wish I maybe had a if I was to complain, I wish I had more structure.
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SPEAKER_01
Like when I was like, I m gonna drop out of school.
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SPEAKER_01
You know, I wish that someone might have been like, Hey, maybe you should.
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Honey, do your thing.
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SPEAKER_01
And they didn t even know what my thing was.
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SPEAKER_01
I didn t know what my thing was.
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People have told us that, like, as you re saying, your love of movies, television, all that, you know, as an escape or whatever, we all have the same love.
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SPEAKER_03
And I usually ask people at the end, but in your earliest memories, like five, six, seven, eight, what was the first things you started to see, or age 10, which kind of rocked your boat?
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SPEAKER_03
Like, okay, this is the greatest thing in the world, musically, film, TV?
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, definitely, I very much remember, especially it was through my parents, them showing me Final Tap.
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SPEAKER_01
Probably like five or six years old.
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Sophisticated movie.
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SPEAKER_03
Wow, and you liked it.
2
SPEAKER_03
That s some good comedy.
2
SPEAKER_03
And who do you think played the mime waiter team at the end?
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SPEAKER_03
Me and Billy Crystal.
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SPEAKER_03
Oh, you knew that?
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
2
SPEAKER_01
Did you know that?
2
SPEAKER_01
Fuck, I didn t know that.
2
SPEAKER_01
I didn t know.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
Mime is Money.
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SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I was so thrilled to be in that.
2
SPEAKER_03
You said Mime is Money?
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SPEAKER_03
Mime is Money, and I was doing little mime things.
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Hilarious.
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SPEAKER_03
So your parents, yeah, they re probably around my age and stuff, so they would have loved that movie and really got it.
2
SPEAKER_03
And so you got it at age six?
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SPEAKER_03
So you re a sophisticated kid.
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SPEAKER_01
To the point where I remember I had, after actually they got divorced, my dad started dating this like very cool hairdresser and they were going on a date and her roommate, like I got dropped off at her place and her roommate was babysitting me.
2
SPEAKER_01
And she was probably like in her early 30s and she was like, what do you wanna do tonight?
2
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, I was six years old and I was like, can we watch Spinal Tap?
2
SPEAKER_01
And she was like, what?
2
SPEAKER_04
Who is this kid?
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SPEAKER_04
Shit, I don t think I could get my head around how dry and funny that movie was till later, because I saw Life of Brian when I was later, like 17, and I could look back and wouldn t get most of the jokes, but I wasn t that, I think you were ahead of me in that respect, because I liked the ones that I was supposed to like.
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SPEAKER_04
We had different years of that pockets, but,
2
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Animal House, and you know, Blues Brothers, and Trading Places, and 48 Hours.
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I was like, these are hilarious.
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SPEAKER_04
R-rated guy comedies, and then Meatballs, Bill Murray, all that shit.
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SPEAKER_04
Then I get older, look back, and I get jokes I never got.
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SPEAKER_04
That s the weirdest thing.
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SPEAKER_03
Well, can I ask both of you a question, since you re younger than me?
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SPEAKER_03
Like, did you get the idea, the dryness of Christopher Guest with his amp, and the setting was to 11.
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SPEAKER_03
rather than 10, and he said, it s one higher.
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SPEAKER_03
So Levin said, don t look at it, don t point at it, it s one higher.
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SPEAKER_03
I mean, that was really sophisticated, dry, Christopher Guest style comedy.
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SPEAKER_03
So you got it, or you just knew it was funny?
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SPEAKER_01
Geez!
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SPEAKER_01
I mean, I don t know if it, maybe it was because my parents were laughing, but that s one where I can remember my brain getting that.
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SPEAKER_01
On the other hand, like only a couple of years ago did I figure out why the like,
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SPEAKER_01
my hands between two pillows in Planes, Trains and Automobiles.
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But I used to always laugh when I was a kid.
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SPEAKER_04
So funny that you would say that.
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SPEAKER_04
What a great movie.
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SPEAKER_03
That is so random and so specific.
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I love that.
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Hand between two pillows.
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SPEAKER_03
John Candy spooning Steve Martin as the lovable loser that latches onto him.
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SPEAKER_03
Check it out, people, if you haven t seen it.
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SPEAKER_04
That s one of the greatest.
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SPEAKER_03
Charming, charm, charm.
2
SPEAKER_03
So as far as television shows or music, were there other things that were rocking your world at that time?
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SPEAKER_01
Yes, let s see.
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SPEAKER_01
Well, I mean, I will say SNL and Dana, I do have to thank you because I specifically remember the first time I ever made my parents laugh was doing an impression of you doing Robin Leach.
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SPEAKER_04
Oh, really?
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SPEAKER_03
I don t know why.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t know why.
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SPEAKER_01
I love it.
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SPEAKER_03
I m yelling and I don t know why.
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SPEAKER_04
It s so great.
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SPEAKER_03
That s so cute, I love it.
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I don t know why.
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And I remember them like requesting it from me, you know, like, Heidi, do the Dana Carvey, David, or Bob Lee.
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SPEAKER_03
Oh, that s funny.
2
SPEAKER_03
God, that s so funny.
2
SPEAKER_03
Well, that is just a musical rhythm.
2
SPEAKER_03
There s no joke there, but he did talk awfully loud.
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SPEAKER_02
I m yelling and I don t know why.
2
SPEAKER_03
I guess it s just funny that someone can t stop yelling.
2
SPEAKER_04
And it s yeah, because I think people didn t realize Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous is such a ridiculous show.
2
SPEAKER_04
And then he was kind of loud and I didn t realize it till you did it.
2
SPEAKER_04
And he s like, well, a gold plated skateboard once given to him by the Duke of Wales.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_02
But these slossy people have a yacht 400 meters long.
2
SPEAKER_03
Why is that?
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SPEAKER_03
Hey guys, the three of us, we ll produce it.
2
SPEAKER_03
That show should be on the air.
2
SPEAKER_03
Who can we get to host it?
2
SPEAKER_03
Jon Lovitz will host it for us.
2
SPEAKER_03
I ll talk to him.
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SPEAKER_04
A diamond covered helmet given to him by Prince Gagoo, Gagoo, Gagoo, Gah.
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SPEAKER_02
Maybe she can find something to wear with her 642 pairs of shoes.
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SPEAKER_03
I would dive down on the bottom.
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SPEAKER_04
I m going to bring that back, Heidi.
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SPEAKER_03
Because of Heidi, I m bringing that back in my stand-up.
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SPEAKER_04
It s so funny.
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SPEAKER_04
You know, it s funny, Heidi.
2
SPEAKER_04
I just, I was watching you do Kristen Schaal and it was a Lion King thing.
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SPEAKER_04
You know, you re just jumping around YouTube and looking at stuff and Kristen Schaal, who you do funny and it was in the Lion King, but the funnier thing to me is it s one of those SNL devices where they go
2
SPEAKER_04
Everybody get your impressions because we re gonna do a screen test and it s a great one.
2
SPEAKER_04
You do a screen test and you just jump around like I would go I can say one thing as Dennis Leary or one thing as whoever and they go good throw it in there because we re jumping around you say get a laugh move and you don t have to hold up a whole sketch with it.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s so easy.
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SPEAKER_01
Unfortunately, I think that s the only one I ve really ever been able to do or even sustain for two sentences.
2
SPEAKER_04
Oh, you could do that one longer.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s about it.
2
SPEAKER_04
Well, that one was just a jump around one that I thought was kind of funny because if one doesn t work, the next one s funny.
2
SPEAKER_04
You just throw everything against the wall.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_04
And you wish, you know, when you re on the show, you re like shooting them that week or some of those they shoot over a week or two.
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SPEAKER_04
And then when the host is there, you throw him in.
2
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_04
Or he or her.
2
SPEAKER_04
And then
2
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You cut it together and you just almost wish you had more time because you re only running it for dress.
2
SPEAKER_04
That s the only test audience.
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SPEAKER_04
And you almost want to go, fuck, put that one at the end.
2
SPEAKER_04
Let s see if that s the closer.
2
SPEAKER_04
And then you run on air and something bombs and you go, fuck, if we just played it one more time, my gut was telling me pull those two out.
2
SPEAKER_03
So yeah, it s kind of safe in a way because you re just in a train of people doing it.
2
SPEAKER_03
I think people would want to hear just like you go to LA and then you re you just become a hairdresser.
2
SPEAKER_03
Did you think at a given point like okay this is my career path or did you still always have in the back of your mind performing?
2
SPEAKER_03
So you re in LA and you did it for years.
2
SPEAKER_03
Just talk to that.
2
SPEAKER_03
I mean, everyone has an interesting way they reach Lorne Michaels desk.
2
SPEAKER_03
So we kind of want to unpack yours because everyone has a different trip.
2
SPEAKER_03
And yours that stands out initially is 10 years of being a hairdresser through your 20s, I guess.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so I was totally happy.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was assisting my now really good friend Deanna at her salon and I thought that was really exciting.
2
SPEAKER_01
I moved to LA at like the height of
3
SPEAKER_00
hair extensions and Paris Hilton.
3
SPEAKER_00
So like me at home with like bulk hair making hair extensions, I kind of thought that was like the height.
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, it is artistic.
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It s an artistic form of expression.
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SPEAKER_00
Did you ever do celebrities?
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Did you do celebrities or see them anywhere around your salon?
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SPEAKER_02
I mean, being in Hollywood?
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
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I was in Studio City, so I remember one of the first celebrities I ever saw was Jason Bateman walking as French Bulldog.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s good.
3
SPEAKER_00
That was a cool one.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s a good one.
3
SPEAKER_02
Wendy, Wendy, hear me out.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s Jason Bateman in Ozarks.
3
SPEAKER_02
Wendy, hear me out, that s all I got.
3
SPEAKER_02
So anyway, you saw Jason Bateman, you almost fainted.
3
SPEAKER_02
Were we on Riverside in Coanga?
3
SPEAKER_00
I was right across from Remember the Good Earth.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was like Ventura.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was between Laurel and Cole Bonner on Ventura.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that s a good little chunk right there.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Deluxe Salon.
3
SPEAKER_01
Jerry s Deli.
3
SPEAKER_02
And was it a situation comedy in a way at times?
3
SPEAKER_02
Just salons or just socially dynamic bizarre places?
3
SPEAKER_00
It was incredible because it was just me and Deanna and she was a busy hairdresser.
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And then just this rotating door of clients, some that I still keep in touch with that I love, some walk-ins that were insane.
3
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I mean, I have a really fun relationship with her because we can just say the name of a person and so many memories come back.
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SPEAKER_01
You still do walk-ins?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, of course.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like if someone comes into your kitchen right now?
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SPEAKER_00
I did just cut my friend s hair.
3
SPEAKER_00
She wanted bangs and I said, absolutely not.
3
SPEAKER_00
I won t.
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SPEAKER_01
You won t be a part of that?
3
SPEAKER_00
No, but I ll give you layers.
3
SPEAKER_02
Do you feel like you just have it?
3
SPEAKER_02
Like as far as like, say the show business thing didn t work out, which it is working out.
3
SPEAKER_02
Could you just go back and pick it up and just be a star, you know?
3
SPEAKER_00
I was asking Deanna the last time I saw her.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was like, what if when I m in town, I just come in and assist you on a Saturday and we just see if I still have it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like even just to put on some hair colors.
3
SPEAKER_01
Still got game.
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SPEAKER_01
Hair color is hard probably though.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you know, highlights are, but like a one process color.
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SPEAKER_00
I just want to see if I can still, I can do that.
3
SPEAKER_01
People would let you, because you re a celeb, so they d let you do it, ruin you if, you know, they don t care.
3
SPEAKER_01
Remember, I let Sean Penn give me a tattoo.
3
SPEAKER_01
He didn t know what the fuck he was doing.
3
SPEAKER_02
I was in a movie with Sean Penn.
3
SPEAKER_02
It was a World War II movie.
3
SPEAKER_02
Nicolas Cage was in it as well.
3
SPEAKER_02
They brought me in and then I get a kind of a buzz cut.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m playing a soldier and Sean just, he is a soldier too, but he had the coolest buzz cut.
3
SPEAKER_02
It was like five times as long and just flowing over, you know, but anyway, that was that.
3
SPEAKER_02
So, Heidi, I don t have anything else here.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s your story?
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, I was just doing every hair stuff I can.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m running out of hair stick.
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SPEAKER_02
But did you, so this, okay, so you re doing this, I m just legitimately curious, like, and then you start, do you go to, do you go to Groundlings or UCB or what s that leap in LA that suddenly you re trying to perform?
3
SPEAKER_00
So I make friends with my friend Rachel, who happened to be the groundling at the time.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I d always heard of groundlings, but I d never gone to a show there, which I was surprised.
3
SPEAKER_00
And she was like, well, come see me in the improv show tonight.
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SPEAKER_00
It was a Thursday night.
3
SPEAKER_00
I went and saw Cooking with Gas at the Groundlings.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, oh my god, that s the funniest thing I ve ever seen.
3
SPEAKER_00
my first thought was not that I could do it.
3
SPEAKER_00
My first thought was like, oh, this will be so perfect when like friends or family come to visit LA.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like I have this thing for sure.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s cute.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, to share it is fun.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s like you see a comedian.
3
SPEAKER_01
When I first time I saw even Sebastian a couple of years ago, a comedian, I was like, oh shit, I gotta bring my buddies, gotta check him out.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s always the fun of like, who s funny, you like to laugh together.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
But then how do you make the jump?
3
SPEAKER_01
Does someone say you should try that?
3
SPEAKER_00
So then she said, you should try that.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, Oh my God, no, like I m not an actor.
3
SPEAKER_00
And she was like, I know that you re not an actor, but you leave me like seven minute voicemails in character.
3
SPEAKER_02
Okay, so you re an actor.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s just all this is Heidi.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so,
3
SPEAKER_01
That s improv-ing and riffing.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s hard to do.
3
SPEAKER_00
I just never knew what it was, what I was doing.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then I told my brother, I was like, Oh, you know, my new friend said that I should take an improv class.
3
SPEAKER_00
And he was like, Heidi, I ve been waiting for you to say this our entire lives as my older brother, I will pay for your class.
3
SPEAKER_02
Wow, that s so sweet.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh, so he was more objective.
3
SPEAKER_02
He could see you being funny and you re not seeing yourself in the kitchen as at age 12 or whatever, but your brother could.
3
SPEAKER_02
And so he harbored that thought for you.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_02
Interesting.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
So, okay.
3
SPEAKER_02
Then the only thing, one thing that always intrigues me,
3
SPEAKER_02
because I think David and I come from a similar school.
3
SPEAKER_02
We weren t like ready, rock, you know, fully loaded or confident.
3
SPEAKER_02
When was the moment or the time period where you join up and then you start to kind of notice, wow, I m where I belong or I m pretty good at this.
3
SPEAKER_02
You know, it starts to become real.
3
SPEAKER_02
And do you remember a specific moment like that or just generally you kept going up the food chain, right?
3
SPEAKER_02
Because you go to the next class, the next, you want to get to the main stage.
3
SPEAKER_02
So what was that journey like for you?
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, it was really cool because I didn t even understand how the groundlings worked.
3
SPEAKER_00
I didn t even think it was really attainable.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I was just, I was going up the food chain, but, and it sounds corny, but it was just this like, kind of following my bliss, like, oh, this is really fun.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is a neat outlet for me.
3
SPEAKER_00
Interesting.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
I m funny and I, I m, I m learning how to be less shy, you know, and I just felt like my life opening up a little bit more.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I remember there was a guy in a class of me that he was like, oh, are you gonna go see the Sunday show this week?
3
SPEAKER_00
And the Sunday company is like all the people trying to get into the groundlings.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, what s that?
3
SPEAKER_00
And he was like, oh, that s like what we re all trying to do.
3
SPEAKER_00
Why are you here?
3
SPEAKER_02
To someone with that much talent being that, what do you mean?
3
SPEAKER_02
Okay, go ahead, funny.
3
SPEAKER_00
And there was this other show at the time, they still do it every so often at the Groundlings, but it s called The Black Version.
3
SPEAKER_00
And it s all black improvisers and comedians improvising the black version of your favorite movies.
3
SPEAKER_00
And that show, I would go every single Monday to see that show.
3
SPEAKER_00
And this was like, Jordan Peele was doing it, Gary and Lee Williams, Keegan-Michael Key,
3
SPEAKER_00
funniest show in the world.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh yeah, I could imagine.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so when he asked me like, what are you doing here?
3
SPEAKER_00
I was like, well, I like to see the black version.
3
SPEAKER_00
And he was like, you can t be in that show.
3
SPEAKER_00
I know, I know.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s what I like, so.
3
SPEAKER_01
I just like to watch.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so that was really cool.
3
SPEAKER_00
Now to find myself in such a like sometimes heady or competitive arena.
3
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I like to think back to that time where I didn t know anything and it was just fun.
3
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And you could be happy with where you re at and then in never in a million years you thought you d be on SNL and then you re light in some show and you re depressed and you re like, what am I doing?
3
SPEAKER_01
I m crazy because I can t believe I m here.
3
SPEAKER_01
It just happens to all of us.
3
SPEAKER_01
That exact same feeling happens to everybody, I think.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
And did you develop then at some point what the word would be ambition or a sense of like, maybe I can do this and maybe I can make a living at this and then comes some sort of drive that you have to find in yourself because normally there s a lot of failure and a lot of humiliation.
3
SPEAKER_02
But so you re in groundlings, it s going well, you re not even thinking future tripping, you re just thinking this is making me less shy, super confident, which I think it does.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then what happened?
3
SPEAKER_00
So then, I mean, it s probably bad that he introduced what Sunday Company was to me.
3
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And he was like, yeah, it s like a mini SNL.
3
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You get to perform every Sunday, write sketches, try sketches out, do characters, buy your own wigs and costumes.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, oh, that sounds fun.
3
SPEAKER_00
Very fun.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so, I got into Sunday Company and I was obsessed and I was like the overachiever, you know, like Wednesdays or pitch night.
3
SPEAKER_00
And a lot of people would bring like three or four sketches because it s like, you know, at most, you re going to get two on a Sunday show.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I would write like nine things because also, I wasn t confident.
3
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I was like, eight of these are probably shit.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, I need nine, you know, so my odds of getting one thing in.
3
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So, I was just writing and
4
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and developing characters all the time.
4
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But it helps you write.
4
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That s hard to do.
4
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That s like a skill you re just suddenly deciding if you have, because you re just doing, going, I guess I m writing right now.
4
SPEAKER_03
Is this what writing is?
4
SPEAKER_03
Because you re just saying, oh, I ll just scribble some shit down, and suddenly you re a writer.
4
SPEAKER_03
I know, I m a writer.
4
SPEAKER_01
It always sounds so highfalutin.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m a writer, man.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m writing stuff.
4
SPEAKER_01
if you re not used to it, it sounds so grandiose.
4
SPEAKER_01
So then you started landing things, I guess, and getting people interested in your classmates saying, Heidi, that was really funny.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, you re getting feedback.
4
SPEAKER_01
What did that feel like?
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, the audience is starting to laugh.
4
SPEAKER_01
What happens, I mean, to you inside?
4
SPEAKER_01
It s heady stuff, right?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it just felt, it was so much fun and it was so,
4
SPEAKER_00
freeing, I guess.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think I m someone who probably kept a lot of... I had such gregarious emotional parents that I think I kept a lot of things close to the chest.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I m a Leo, and I never felt like I was a Leo.
4
SPEAKER_00
But when I started performing at Groundlings, I felt like a Leo.
4
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I was like, oh, this is the lion.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, okay, right, a leader or leader of the pack, I guess, right?
4
SPEAKER_03
It is cool.
4
SPEAKER_03
It sort of fuels you to get a few laughs and then it buys you enough to go in again the next week and it just keeps, you know, momentum going.
4
SPEAKER_03
If you were bombing every time, it would be different.
4
SPEAKER_03
You d be like, shit, this isn t for me.
4
SPEAKER_03
But the scary thing, even for me in standup was when do you get rid of the job and try to realize the pressure s on when you say, I just want to do this now.
4
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And I m like, well, how do I make money at this?
4
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I love it.
4
SPEAKER_03
And you know, it s hard to quit a job because that s the real world.
4
SPEAKER_03
You know, most people aren t going to make showbiz.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I fully, I stayed doing hair a little too long and it was actually,
4
SPEAKER_00
My friend Deanna, who I worked with, who sat me down, took me to lunch one day and was like, why are you still here?
4
SPEAKER_00
Where do you belong?
4
SPEAKER_00
And it was funny when I...
4
SPEAKER_00
When I quit, I hadn t told my clients that I had this other thing I was doing, because I never wanted them to think I wasn t focused on their... Sure.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, really?
4
SPEAKER_01
That s so sweet.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like you re apologizing for... Are you in the main company?
4
SPEAKER_01
Are you having agents coming and see you at this point when you quit the salon?
4
SPEAKER_01
Was there a foothold?
4
SPEAKER_01
Are you reading for things or just...
4
SPEAKER_00
I wasn t in the main company yet.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was just in Sunday company and I think at most I d gotten a manager but I knew...
4
SPEAKER_00
I knew I would come into work and I would see like a busy day and I would be annoyed because I was like, Oh, I ve got like sketches right by a wig.
4
SPEAKER_00
And like, yeah, that was bad.
4
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Cause like, you know, we ve all talked about our great hair.
4
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It s important to people.
4
SPEAKER_01
I get it.
4
SPEAKER_03
I have a question about groundlings, Heidi, when you are there,
4
SPEAKER_03
Is it, do they look down on if you bring a celeb impression or do they like real characters out of the blue?
4
SPEAKER_03
Is it looked up upon if you come up with sort of a weird, different character no one s done?
4
SPEAKER_00
I think it s mostly all just real grounded characters.
4
SPEAKER_00
I never felt like- They don t do impressions?
4
SPEAKER_00
Not as much.
4
SPEAKER_00
Not really.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was with people that could do impressions,
4
SPEAKER_00
In shows, I never felt like any impressions were in the sketch.
4
SPEAKER_02
I didn t know that.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
I did not.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
So, when you were developing- It looks cheap to them, probably.
4
SPEAKER_00
Maybe.
4
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_03
It seems like you do have a- So it is secret?
4
SPEAKER_03
That means yes.
4
SPEAKER_03
Well, it is sort of.
4
SPEAKER_03
I mean, you come in there, you go, hey, I can do Christopher Walken, and everyone s like, yawn.
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, I always tell people, if you do an impression of your friend, then it s your character, if the friend s not famous, you know?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
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Or you take it and exaggerate it and stuff, but I m interested, I mean, the connectivity to, because your characters are, it would seem to me that the young audience, female audience would love
4
SPEAKER_01
the character study you re doing with, I mean, I m sorry, but Bailey and Gizmert and the cocaine wife, I mean, they re all, there s a sensibility to what you re doing.
4
SPEAKER_01
And are you noticing that people love what you re doing on Saturday Night Live?
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean.
4
SPEAKER_03
Do people love you?
4
SPEAKER_01
Do they love you?
4
SPEAKER_01
And did you notice when you were doing growlings that all this Heidi Gardner sensibility started to
4
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emerge of the way you re doing characters?
4
SPEAKER_01
Because it seems very fresh.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t have better words than that.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t think I was... I knew people were liking it, but probably at this point to my detriment, I m a bit modest and I don t think too much about... I probably am a little more hard on myself than...
4
SPEAKER_03
Makes sense.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was always the same.
4
SPEAKER_01
I always thought I d get fired.
4
SPEAKER_01
And David too.
4
SPEAKER_01
I totally get that.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
They kept telling me that was the difference.
4
SPEAKER_03
When I was watching your... At the summer break, I would have to drag my fucking apartment and get rid of it in like, what, you know, May.
4
SPEAKER_03
And then I don t know if we re bringing him back.
4
SPEAKER_03
I don t know what we re doing with him.
4
SPEAKER_03
I don t know if he really wants it.
4
SPEAKER_03
And then...
4
SPEAKER_03
And then August, they d bring me back.
4
SPEAKER_03
I d have to go back and rent an apartment and drag.
4
SPEAKER_03
It was an Uber, Heidi.
4
SPEAKER_03
I would have... I wasn t some cute girl.
4
SPEAKER_03
I would drag a dirty mattress with pee all over it up the stairs, and then all I needed was a desk, a pee mattress, and then, you know, a fork and a bowl and a knife.
4
SPEAKER_01
But what s the bad part of that story?
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_01
Lorne always tells me, should David come back?
4
SPEAKER_01
Dana, did I scare you enough?
4
SPEAKER_01
Can we get rid of it?
4
SPEAKER_01
Lorne would ask me, should David come back?
4
SPEAKER_01
What do you think?
4
SPEAKER_01
Do you think there s anything there?
4
SPEAKER_01
I d be eating a sandwich.
4
SPEAKER_01
I ll get back to you.
4
SPEAKER_01
No, I m kidding.
4
SPEAKER_01
No, Lorne would not ask me.
4
SPEAKER_03
I was brought in to get Dana going off his ass, even though he was in 20 sketches.
4
SPEAKER_03
That s what I heard.
4
SPEAKER_01
David was brought in.
4
SPEAKER_01
He sat behind me.
4
SPEAKER_01
You heard this on the streets?
4
SPEAKER_01
I literally started smoking a cigar so I could fuck with those guys.
4
SPEAKER_00
Come on, babe.
4
SPEAKER_01
Would that make it to the Ventura?
4
SPEAKER_01
Channel between fucking character Heidi I actually I don t do this very often but last night when I was watching your stuff, I just wrote down words I ve done this with any other guest
4
SPEAKER_01
And I don t even know exactly why, but I wrote down Carol Burnett.
4
SPEAKER_01
It was something about the tone of your voice.
4
SPEAKER_01
I wrote down playful, commitment, emotional.
4
SPEAKER_01
As far as the characters, vulnerable, clueless, competitive, passive-aggressive.
4
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, I ll be back in 10 minutes.
4
SPEAKER_01
We re gonna take a short break.
4
SPEAKER_03
Listen, I wrote down sell Bitcoin and something else.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s what I tried to get to come through.
4
SPEAKER_03
No, I m sure you could speak to that.
4
SPEAKER_01
Part of your charm is that you don t wear what s these last few years on SNL on your sleeve.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s hard to own it, right?
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, you re humble about it, which is very charming.
4
SPEAKER_01
But when you re out there doing these characters, you re just,
4
SPEAKER_01
You re ferocious in your commitment.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it s not soft, right?
4
SPEAKER_01
It s like, whoa, she is going for it.
4
SPEAKER_03
I think you know everything matters there and everything s an audition and you need to score when they turn the camera on, you go, I gotta score, because that s it, I gotta think about this for the next week.
4
SPEAKER_03
Or longer, like, did it work?
4
SPEAKER_03
Did it not work?
4
SPEAKER_03
Everyone s judging it quietly.
4
SPEAKER_01
The one with Mickey Day, Nico Slob and then Brie Picardy, that is so fucking funny.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, don t you love doing that character?
4
SPEAKER_01
It s like, she s insane.
4
SPEAKER_01
Where did she come from?
4
SPEAKER_00
I just, I think in Groundlings, I had done a sketch where it was me and my friend Ryan Gall, where we started a scene with friends where he, I think, finished my wine or something.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then I m obviously upset, and he asks me, is anything wrong?
4
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, no, I m fine.
4
SPEAKER_00
And just that little, I m fine.
4
SPEAKER_00
I just know how to play that because I ve done it in my own life and I brought it to Mikey and I was like, I want to play a couple like this.
4
SPEAKER_00
And he was like, I ve definitely been that guy in a relationship and let s just explore the worst parts of the people that we ve been in relationships, the most passive.
4
SPEAKER_00
And, um, and so it, those things feel really easy and they, they come from
5
SPEAKER_03
places either where yes, I myself was being passive or I myself was being a closed off like awkward kid or not letting my emotions out.
5
SPEAKER_03
And so I do feel like when I get to actually do it, it s really freeing because I m just being like, yeah, it s in there.
5
SPEAKER_03
Like some parts are me, some parts I see other people, but I get to let them out.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s cathartic, I assume.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
What year are you?
5
SPEAKER_03
Well, I ll be going into my sixth year.
5
SPEAKER_02
That goes by fast.
5
SPEAKER_02
People say they re long.
5
SPEAKER_02
I was out.
5
SPEAKER_02
Six was my last one.
5
SPEAKER_02
Farley and Sandler were five.
5
SPEAKER_02
Dana was six, I think.
5
SPEAKER_02
Did you go six or seven?
5
SPEAKER_02
Seven.
5
SPEAKER_02
But the people that just left the show, I heard, was eight to 10 years.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_03
So it hasn t felt... I mean, it s weird to say six years because I do feel slightly... You feel like you have a year of sketches in six years?
5
SPEAKER_03
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_02
That s what I felt like.
5
SPEAKER_03
We haven t had like a shake up.
5
SPEAKER_03
Like there hasn t been a dynamic shift, you know?
5
SPEAKER_03
So the seniors have always been the seniors and yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
So it s kind of, it s emancipating for you and Melissa or other women on the show.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, who s your class?
5
SPEAKER_01
Who else?
5
SPEAKER_01
Who s on your class?
5
SPEAKER_01
Like your era came in around your time.
5
SPEAKER_03
Like Mikey, Melissa, Ego, Chris, we re all kind of like in the same.
5
SPEAKER_02
You know, we just talked to Mullaney and he was saying very nice things about you.
5
SPEAKER_03
Me?
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
He was.
5
SPEAKER_01
We tried to cut him off.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know, we felt, okay, that s enough.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then he kept going.
5
SPEAKER_01
He did say nice things about you.
5
SPEAKER_01
But do you feel acclimated to that situation?
5
SPEAKER_01
Do you feel comfortable around Lauren Michaels who s,
5
SPEAKER_01
It always was an intimidating figure without even trying.
5
SPEAKER_01
When you get off the show, you ll see how vulnerable he is and stuff underneath that sort of exterior.
5
SPEAKER_01
But how are you doing in terms of your relationship with the show, actually?
5
SPEAKER_02
Dana, by the way, what if Lauren walked in like Donald Sutherland in Animal House right now?
5
SPEAKER_02
Just came in to get a coat and walk back out.
5
SPEAKER_01
What, he would be in Heidi s Kitchen or something?
5
SPEAKER_01
We re just dropping by.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s that thing of like, you know, it s that sixth season and things are going to open up for you.
5
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, whatever that means.
5
SPEAKER_02
Go ahead.
5
SPEAKER_02
Go ahead, Heidi.
5
SPEAKER_02
I m sorry.
5
SPEAKER_03
Continue, Heidi.
5
SPEAKER_01
We like to interrupt.
5
SPEAKER_03
I forgot.
5
SPEAKER_03
I forgot the question because I was just thinking about what if I was in a relationship with Lauren.
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, that would be crazy.
5
SPEAKER_01
Comes in in shorts.
5
SPEAKER_01
Are we still playing tennis?
5
SPEAKER_01
Are you done?
5
SPEAKER_01
Heidi, it s a winter-spring sort of relationship.
5
SPEAKER_01
It ll be quiet.
5
SPEAKER_01
No one will know what we re doing and it ll be really a lot of fun.
5
SPEAKER_02
We re meeting Jack Nicholson for spaghetti tonight, remember.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yes, and both Pauls are coming.
5
SPEAKER_01
So are you feeling comfortable?
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, you re six years in on the soundstage with the sketches, with the whole system, because it took me, I think, at least four, at least 80 shows to start to feel consistently more playful and relaxed.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yes, I always think I could probably be more playful and relaxed.
5
SPEAKER_03
I feel like my nervous system, though,
5
SPEAKER_03
does feel a lot better.
5
SPEAKER_03
There was some point in this season where I think I had just been like holding on to it very tight and I just let go.
5
SPEAKER_03
It s like SNL and just like an open open palm and that has felt
5
SPEAKER_03
A lot better.
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, I find that what happens is that there s a cast member and then you re on the show and it depends how much you re in it.
5
SPEAKER_01
And if there s 20 cast members, it takes a while.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then when you start to, the audience discovers you and you can feel a sense of like, here comes Heidi, you know,
5
SPEAKER_01
and they re happy with reoccurring things and that feeds the confidence and then you get more confident and then get better and it kind of feeds on itself.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, that s the fun of SNL, that s the reality show of SNL.
5
SPEAKER_01
Someone s never been on TV and then we re watching them get more confident, audience catches them and then suddenly they re flying, you know, like takes off.
5
SPEAKER_01
so you re feeling a little bit this last season a sense of emancipation from the fear of it you re acclimating and maybe you d be more take more chances you think you re already hitting it out of the ballpark but you feel like you lots there s a lot let me tell do it as donald trump excuse me many people are saying she s got a lot left for the take let me tell you that s inches
5
SPEAKER_00
Just kidding, Sam, I m not kidding you.
5
SPEAKER_00
You re gonna be happy, everybody s gonna see it.
5
SPEAKER_01
But anyway, sorry.
5
SPEAKER_01
Sorry about that.
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, next year, Heidi.
5
SPEAKER_02
Next year, there s a little wiggle room with some people leaving, which doesn t mean that Pete leaving helps you.
5
SPEAKER_02
Nothing really helps you.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s just...
5
SPEAKER_02
And there s so many anyway, so it s hard to really clear the runway, but maybe there s a little bit, or maybe they ll bring more people in.
5
SPEAKER_02
It never relaxes, really, though.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_03
And I think for me, I m just accepting that.
5
SPEAKER_03
And as hard as it can be to have such a big cast, because I do feel like it is kind of a rotating, sometimes carousel of sadness, of like, if you re having a good week, your friend probably isn t.
5
SPEAKER_03
Oh.
5
SPEAKER_03
So, but I will say that I think it made me realize even more, like I have no, I have no control here.
5
SPEAKER_03
Absolutely none.
5
SPEAKER_03
As much as I want to try, like I have no control here.
5
SPEAKER_03
I didn t even before.
5
SPEAKER_03
It s like such a machine, but especially with such a big cast.
5
SPEAKER_03
And so for me, it s just,
5
SPEAKER_03
That s really helped me just to be like, sometimes I get to do my thing.
5
SPEAKER_03
Sometimes I have one line in a show and if I really just have one line, I m going to do my best to do what I think is funny with that one line or make my castmates laugh.
5
SPEAKER_03
And even like, I want to feel emancipated with the audience, and I do feel free, but I also, seeking that validation, even though obviously you need it, you need the laughs, is probably not good for just like, the kid that I am.
5
SPEAKER_03
So it s like, I m just trying to be okay with myself, and that s what s making me.
5
SPEAKER_01
Have you had therapy?
5
SPEAKER_01
Because you seem very centered.
5
SPEAKER_01
Have you been to therapy or you just figured this out?
5
SPEAKER_01
You seem healthy.
5
SPEAKER_01
We don t really know though.
5
SPEAKER_01
We only can control what we control.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s like a lot of wisdom in that for someone.
5
SPEAKER_01
To me, you re a child.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
You re young.
5
SPEAKER_03
Well, there was a certain point this year where my therapist was like,
5
SPEAKER_03
Because I am in therapy, but he was like, Hey, we talked about SNL in like weeks.
5
SPEAKER_03
And he was like, Do you want to and I was like, No, I m good.
5
SPEAKER_03
And he ll kind of like check in and I
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I just, I haven t much, and I certainly would if something was paining me or on my mind that I wasn t able to process on my own.
5
SPEAKER_02
I think you got to the point where it s hard to get to where you just realize it s all out of your control.
5
SPEAKER_02
And if you have two lines, sometimes there s pride in being a good castmate and saying, put me two lines in your thing, I got two, I m gonna do them great.
5
SPEAKER_02
You want them big, do you want them subtle, what do you want?
5
SPEAKER_02
I m servicing this sketch.
5
SPEAKER_02
And when the whole sketch works, you go, I was a part of it.
5
SPEAKER_02
And then you write somebody in something.
5
SPEAKER_02
I would feel bad if I wrote Mike Myers two lines, or I wrote Dana.
5
SPEAKER_02
They re too big a star to do that.
5
SPEAKER_02
But they come in and do it and say, how do you want me to do it?
5
SPEAKER_02
What do you want to do here?
5
SPEAKER_02
And they have a smile.
5
SPEAKER_02
And you go, that s what I love.
5
SPEAKER_02
You just go, OK, we re all doing this.
5
SPEAKER_02
You re helping mine out.
5
SPEAKER_02
I ll help yours out.
5
SPEAKER_02
Whole show will be better.
5
SPEAKER_02
And if you can do that and it sounds so easy, it s kind of hard, though.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s everyone should be in therapy when they do that show.
5
SPEAKER_01
I think at least check in.
5
SPEAKER_01
Lauren should have a, you know, a little kiosk with you.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s your time now.
5
SPEAKER_01
He s going to see you.
5
SPEAKER_02
Um, like at the airport, they have that sit down, massage the room.
5
SPEAKER_03
You should just go in there in between probably be paid for by the show.
5
SPEAKER_03
Like there should be a hundred percent.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s an emotionally violent career, you know, show business basically.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Except maybe Tom Hanks or whatever, you know.
5
SPEAKER_01
But for the rest of us, you know, it is this up and down, you get your feelings hurt, you have highs and lows and you do have to make peace with that and go, but I m in show business and it should be fun and it should be exciting.
5
SPEAKER_01
I just wanted to say also, being in Adam s film, and I saw you in there, you were perfect and great.
5
SPEAKER_01
And so that s kind of cool.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, that s that whole other lane that Saturday Night Live may open up for you.
5
SPEAKER_01
I think, you know, you can do that too.
5
SPEAKER_01
So you have other frontiers to conquer as well.
5
SPEAKER_01
But how was that working with Sandler?
5
SPEAKER_01
Was he kind of a dick?
5
SPEAKER_02
He was such an asshole.
5
SPEAKER_02
I like that question.
5
SPEAKER_02
What level of dick was he?
5
SPEAKER_01
Tha-ba-thoo!
5
SPEAKER_01
Tha-ba-boo!
5
SPEAKER_03
And he did some of that on set.
5
SPEAKER_03
That was very powerful.
6
SPEAKER_01
He s got to.
6
SPEAKER_01
Does he find you, like he says, I ve seen in the show, has someone call you and say, do you want to do this?
6
SPEAKER_01
Or does he meet with you?
6
SPEAKER_01
Or are you auditioned?
6
SPEAKER_00
Well, it was kind of cool because my first few seasons on the show, one of the writers there, Dan Bulla, who s worked with Sandler and friends with him, on Sundays, Dan would text me and he d be like, hey, Sandler really liked the sketch
6
SPEAKER_00
you did last night and would always tell me when Adam liked something, and that felt so good.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then my fourth season, towards the end of the season, I did a sketch where I played Michael Jordan s security guard from the Last Dance documentary.
6
SPEAKER_00
And that same night, I got a text from Adam directly being like,
6
SPEAKER_00
That blew me away.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, whoa, this wasn t through the friend.
6
SPEAKER_00
This was actually Adam.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then I think he knew I was into sports, and my name just started getting passed around to Playcat and Hustle.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then, yeah, he called me last summer to tell me it was happening.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I m a huge sports fan, so... All sports or what kind of sports?
6
SPEAKER_02
Just sports?
6
SPEAKER_00
I mean, definitely NBA and NFL.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
I like baseball and I like the Olympics.
6
SPEAKER_02
Do you like... Oh, I love track and field.
6
SPEAKER_02
That s my... But I love the NBA.
6
SPEAKER_02
And I love the Golden State Warriors.
6
SPEAKER_02
I grew up in the Bay Area.
6
SPEAKER_00
Okay, good luck tonight.
6
SPEAKER_02
Thank you.
6
SPEAKER_02
I don t know if they ll already be champions when this is aired.
6
SPEAKER_02
Thank you to the team.
6
SPEAKER_02
So yeah, Sandler is like that.
6
SPEAKER_02
He s very sweet and nice about just reaching directly to people.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, he s, that movie is great.
6
SPEAKER_02
I mean, it s just, I knew it when I saw it.
6
SPEAKER_02
Now it s got a lot of tomatoes.
6
SPEAKER_02
A lot of tomatoes, Adam.
6
SPEAKER_02
But when I saw it, it was great.
6
SPEAKER_02
So I think that,
6
SPEAKER_02
Just spending this time with you, yeah, I just think your attitude is perfect and you re just gonna just work.
6
SPEAKER_02
You re just gonna do a lot of stuff and you re gonna do a lot more SNL stuff.
6
SPEAKER_02
And I do think Lauren should, you know, a few cast members leave and then just, you got plenty of cast members.
6
SPEAKER_02
You don t have to rush out.
6
SPEAKER_02
How many?
6
15?
6
SPEAKER_02
Shouldn t we go to, I know Lauren may not.
6
SPEAKER_01
There is a lot of talent out there, but you don t really want to corral them in right away.
6
SPEAKER_01
When there s a little break like this, you re like, all right, let s just lock the door for one second.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Just, you know, I love everyone that s on the show and you know what you were saying, David, about, you know, like,
6
SPEAKER_00
putting your friend in, even if it s a couple lines, but they do you the solid and you do them the solid.
6
SPEAKER_00
I love being obsessed with sports.
6
SPEAKER_00
I love the idea that we are a team.
6
SPEAKER_00
That feels cool to me on the weeks that I m light.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m like, okay, well, what can I do to support the team?
6
SPEAKER_00
Melissa and I always, if she s got a weekend update in, I m like, come to my room, let s rehearse it.
6
SPEAKER_00
It feels good.
6
SPEAKER_01
Punch it up, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and so I want to create that bond even more with the people we have.
6
SPEAKER_00
Not that I m not welcoming, but it s like, Oh, I like my
6
SPEAKER_02
I don t know if it s corny, I don t know if it s corny now, but it was just accidental for me, but when you do a talk show host at home base, so you re a funny talk show host, whatever it is, and then cast members come on as guests, and perhaps the host, and they re reoccurring too.
6
SPEAKER_02
I know that Lauren likes that, and it is nice to get everyone playing, and I was able to have Phil Hartman and Jan Hooks on church chat.
6
SPEAKER_02
I mean, it s like the dream team of scoring, and then have a host on there, so.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m going to write something up for you.
6
SPEAKER_02
David and I are now a couple.
6
SPEAKER_00
Please write me a talk show.
6
SPEAKER_00
I know that that is the thing that...
6
SPEAKER_00
I should do, and you know, I think of it like every four weeks, like, oh, I should write a talk show, and then I have some other.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s kind of like, you would know better.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s your age group.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s like, what is Zeitgeist-y now?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
And it s a moving target all the time of what is the clueless talk show host now, or what s the style of it?
6
SPEAKER_02
I wouldn t know, but I would, are the characters you ve done an update and others, yeah, I think you re,
6
SPEAKER_02
You re the person to come up with that.
6
SPEAKER_02
No pressure, but.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s my goal next season.
6
SPEAKER_01
Well, you can also pluck your character.
6
SPEAKER_01
You could do your movie review girl and you could, you know, you could always sort of move them around and do something, but it s just hard because then you got to write for everyone else.
6
SPEAKER_01
And that s tricky too.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
I don t know if this would help Heidi, but I m pretty good at catchphrases, so maybe the character would go, Heidi, Heidi, Heidi, ho!
6
SPEAKER_02
That would just be the sign off.
6
SPEAKER_02
I don t know, I m just, I m spitballing.
6
SPEAKER_00
Okay, I m just playing myself.
6
SPEAKER_00
People really enjoy it.
6
SPEAKER_01
You re yelling your own name, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
You re a super likable, I ll just say.
6
SPEAKER_02
I ll just say it.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m going out on a limb.
6
SPEAKER_01
And where are you right now?
6
SPEAKER_01
Before we let you go, you are in New York.
6
SPEAKER_01
Are you in KC or what are you?
6
SPEAKER_00
I m in New York, in Dumbo.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, Dumbo.
6
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
6
SPEAKER_01
Dana, that s a city.
6
SPEAKER_01
Dumbo, New York?
6
SPEAKER_00
What?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, okay.
6
SPEAKER_01
Dumbo Brooklyn or something?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, Dumbo Brooklyn.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, Dumbo Brooklyn, okay.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s not Dumbo Dana.
6
SPEAKER_02
Near Park Slope.
6
SPEAKER_02
You don t know anything.
6
SPEAKER_02
What a... David has a mansion, that s all I m gonna say.
6
SPEAKER_02
David has an elevator in his house.
6
SPEAKER_02
That s common knowledge, isn t it, David?
6
SPEAKER_01
I m not talking out of turn.
6
SPEAKER_01
I built a small room so it looks like an apartment to do Zoom calls.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
6
SPEAKER_02
He has a water slide that goes from the outside into his house.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh Dana, it says the guy who has a full length mirror in his room.
6
SPEAKER_00
What?
6
SPEAKER_01
Those aren t cheap.
6
SPEAKER_00
Your room looks so nice, I thought you were in a nice hotel room.
6
SPEAKER_01
I know, look at Dana.
6
SPEAKER_01
Me?
6
SPEAKER_01
Must be rough, Dana.
6
SPEAKER_02
We tease each other.
6
SPEAKER_02
This cat.
6
SPEAKER_02
Let me tell you something about this kid.
6
SPEAKER_02
This kid.
6
SPEAKER_02
I met David a long time ago.
6
SPEAKER_02
Before SNL.
6
SPEAKER_02
But Heidi, you re so adorable.
6
SPEAKER_02
I don t know what to say.
6
SPEAKER_02
My wife s gonna love this one.
6
SPEAKER_02
She listens to all of them.
6
SPEAKER_02
I go, how was it, honey?
6
SPEAKER_02
A little rough, a little tight.
6
SPEAKER_02
She s the one who told me you can t do voices on the podcast.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s not the place.
6
SPEAKER_02
Why?
6
SPEAKER_00
You did a lot on this one.
6
SPEAKER_02
This one I did because you re such a sweet audience, but I ve been working on Biden.
6
SPEAKER_02
That s my new toy.
6
SPEAKER_02
And so I get a little hyperbolic about it, you know.
6
SPEAKER_01
Do some.
6
SPEAKER_01
We ll go out on Biden.
6
SPEAKER_01
Give a couple Biden.
6
SPEAKER_02
Biden always points out bad things as if he s not president.
6
SPEAKER_02
People can t even afford a gallon of gas!
6
SPEAKER_02
Everybody can t even go and tell the people to tell the time!
6
SPEAKER_02
This is America!
6
SPEAKER_02
This is the Pirates of the Caribbean!
6
SPEAKER_02
You know, it always ends with Pirate s Caribbean.
6
SPEAKER_02
But he s become the yelling Biden.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s a brand new funny Biden.
6
SPEAKER_02
He s always up there yelling now, and he used to be kind of whispery.
6
SPEAKER_02
My dad lost his job.
6
SPEAKER_02
No joke.
6
SPEAKER_02
Not kidding around.
6
SPEAKER_02
Now he s talking out loud.
6
SPEAKER_02
People everywhere kind of move a set of sound.
6
SPEAKER_01
He s got to be more powerful.
6
SPEAKER_02
And he has a little booklet he s passing on.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, he is he s the old man when you re a an old man.
6
SPEAKER_02
That s yelling spitting into the wind.
6
SPEAKER_02
Basically.
6
SPEAKER_02
Look how strong I am I got a lot I can talk but punch me punch me in the stomach.
6
SPEAKER_02
That s what he s gonna do with these things punch me He said he d take Trump take him outside the woodshed beat the hell out of him kill him
6
SPEAKER_02
Well, that was my favorite Trump quote, the craziest Trump quote.
6
SPEAKER_02
When Biden said he d beat up Trump, he goes, I hit him so hard, I ll be crying all the way down.
6
SPEAKER_02
All the way down?
6
SPEAKER_02
He ll be crying all the way down?
6
SPEAKER_02
Who talks like that?
6
SPEAKER_02
We ll be crying all the way down.
6
SPEAKER_02
So anyway, Heidi, you re a great audience.
6
SPEAKER_02
Thank you, Heidi.
6
SPEAKER_02
Please say hello to Melissa and Chris Redd and some people I know and haven t seen in a while.
6
SPEAKER_00
I love it.
6
SPEAKER_02
I remember when they got the show and
6
SPEAKER_02
You re all doing great.
6
SPEAKER_02
This is going to be a good season.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m excited too.
6
SPEAKER_00
Thank you for having me.
6
SPEAKER_00
This is very special.
6
SPEAKER_00
Good luck.
6
SPEAKER_02
Good job with Hustle and we ll see you soon.
6
SPEAKER_02
Thank you, Heidi.
6
SPEAKER_02
Thanks for coming on.
6
SPEAKER_02
We love you.
6
SPEAKER_02
Love you too.
6
SPEAKER_02
I just say that now.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m old.
6
SPEAKER_02
I love you.
6
SPEAKER_02
Talk soon.
6
SPEAKER_02
I ll call you in 20 minutes.
6
SPEAKER_01
Hey, what s up, flies?
6
SPEAKER_01
What s up, fleas?
6
SPEAKER_01
What s up, people that listen?
6
SPEAKER_01
We wanna hear from you and your dumb questions.
6
SPEAKER_01
Questions, ask us anything.
6
SPEAKER_01
Anything you want.
6
SPEAKER_01
You can email us at flyonthewallatcadence13.com.
6
SPEAKER_01
Hey guys, it s Spade and Carvey and we re over here looking the same.
6
SPEAKER_01
We re doing our questions and answers and this is a thing where you ask a question and we answer forever and we don t really even answer the question.
6
SPEAKER_01
All right, Patrick Carr, hello.
6
SPEAKER_01
Hello, Patrick.
6
SPEAKER_01
The SNL after party seemed to be a subject of lore amongst the people who aren t involved in the show.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, they do sound interesting.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m wondering if...
6
SPEAKER_01
If those parties really do happen every week and if they are as crazy as they say, and is the whole crew invited?
6
SPEAKER_01
Do people blow it off for a while?
6
SPEAKER_01
Are they expected
7
SPEAKER_00
This is a 12-parter.
7
SPEAKER_01
We do long answers.
7
SPEAKER_01
This question is a motherfucker.
7
SPEAKER_00
Do you have any funny after-party stories that won t jeopardize anyone s career?
7
SPEAKER_00
Let s just really enjoy listening to you guys.
7
SPEAKER_00
Really enjoy the show, okay.
7
SPEAKER_00
Fair enough.
7
SPEAKER_00
Where do we start on this one?
7
SPEAKER_01
Well, you were the bad boys of comedy, so you probably have bigger stories.
7
SPEAKER_01
Me, I just had an I m Still Light, me, Phil, and John, and went home early.
7
SPEAKER_01
You know what s funny?
7
SPEAKER_01
I never did any Sniffy Jiffy, that whole SNL run, and that s the only time you should be doing it.
7
SPEAKER_01
That would not fit your...
7
SPEAKER_01
Biological, I mean, I can t imagine you doing Sniffy Whiffy.
7
SPEAKER_01
Sniffy Jiffy.
7
SPEAKER_01
I always hated it.
7
SPEAKER_01
I took cocaine, I snorted cocaine once and I drove over to the comedy club and I drove around and I couldn t go in the club because I thought they all hate me.
7
SPEAKER_01
But that wasn t the drug for me.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it hits everyone differently.
7
SPEAKER_00
I only did it once in the old days in AZ, right before I went on stage at some crummy open mic night.
7
SPEAKER_00
And it was not my persona.
7
SPEAKER_00
I went up there like JonBenet, I m like, ya-da-da.
7
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
7
SPEAKER_00
It was too, and I got too ahead of myself.
7
SPEAKER_00
I got scared.
7
SPEAKER_00
But the SNL parties, there was probably drugs around.
7
SPEAKER_00
It was more when we talked to the old cast, that was for sure.
7
SPEAKER_00
They were going to stay up all the way till Monday.
7
SPEAKER_00
But the parties are fun because the interesting part to me was that you don t know, maybe during the show, they don t want all these people in Pavarotti to show up at the party.
7
SPEAKER_00
So during the show, they will slip you, Marcy would slip you a little note.
7
SPEAKER_00
that would just say two inches by two inches where the party was in the address.
7
SPEAKER_00
And that was it.
7
SPEAKER_00
And you d put it, even in your like wardrobe, you just like, you d read it and go, got it memorized.
7
SPEAKER_00
And then that, that was during the show.
7
SPEAKER_00
That s how late they told you.
7
SPEAKER_00
So no one knew where it was and it would be at Ollie s or down at Columbus or whatever.
7
SPEAKER_01
I would put this out, one is, I never could sleep in as a night owl on SNL, so I basically was up in those days, like eight or nine, and that s the day of the show.
7
SPEAKER_01
You re already tired, you re up very late the night before.
7
SPEAKER_01
So then you do the whole show, so that s like 16 hours, you re prepping, rehearsing, calling people, you get to the show, you do 12 hours of rehearsal of a practice show, the show.
7
SPEAKER_01
So it s 1 a.m., you re out on your feet, and now let s go to a party.
7
SPEAKER_01
So you hope you get a second wind, but the last time I was there, because Lorne can always, his endurance nocturnally is legendary.
7
SPEAKER_01
He ll always stay to the very end.
7
SPEAKER_01
You re a baby if you leave at 4.30, a coward and a loser.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I don t know why I would say that.
7
SPEAKER_01
Dana, you re a baby, a coward, and a loser for leaving now.
7
SPEAKER_01
So the last time I did a guest spot, I said, I m going to stay all night with Lorne, and I did.
7
SPEAKER_01
And he just talked brilliant stuff for hours, and then the lights come on.
7
SPEAKER_01
Have you ever been there where the restaurant
7
SPEAKER_01
Lights come on like at 6 a.m.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s very eerie and Lauren s like in the middle of and that s that thing of like when you read a book you don t it reads you as well and then the lights come on there s a little siren and so I guess we have to go now but then one time I was in the car with him do you want to go get bagels they re fresh they re coming out now we could go get bagels and it s like you
7
SPEAKER_01
Jeez, now it s morning, you haven t even slept gross.
7
SPEAKER_01
7.15 in the morning.
7
SPEAKER_01
So that s the main thing I remember, not cocaine, girls, nothing illicit, just can I fucking stay awake.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
The stress of being on, and so you do that whole day, Dana described, everybody gets a limo, usually feature players, I d have to split it with someone.
7
SPEAKER_00
So let s say me and Rock go over and we get there and then they have tables and you re sort of sectioned off.
7
SPEAKER_00
Feature players, if it s a four top, two of you have to go there.
7
SPEAKER_00
If you have a friend with you, you don t get your own table.
7
SPEAKER_00
Danny gets a big fucking booth and a throne.
7
SPEAKER_00
And then, or he sits with Lauren.
7
SPEAKER_00
And then the stress comes immediately because you sit down, you just breathe, get your amps to light and someone goes, Michael Keaton this week, what do you got?
7
SPEAKER_00
And you re like, oh fuck.
7
SPEAKER_00
So you just finished a show.
7
SPEAKER_00
with Christy Alley and then like Michael Keaton this week, what do you got?
7
SPEAKER_00
Start racking your brain.
7
SPEAKER_00
And so you have a drink and everything, but it s hard to start drinking at one.
7
SPEAKER_00
You can t, it s just, you nurse in Amstel.
7
SPEAKER_00
Sunday is basically, not to interrupt, but Sunday is $10 a quarters.
7
SPEAKER_00
And you just, I go down to my basement and do fucking laundry.
7
SPEAKER_01
I ll say one thing that at a given point, first of all, there were no cars for us to get to the party when I got on the show, because the budget was cut.
7
SPEAKER_01
So you had to try to get a cab to go to the party.
7
SPEAKER_01
But then after a while, the show got popular, and then it d be like, maybe Sting comes in, Paul Simon, some New York Ranger athlete, whatever.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I remember my friend and I used to think of, we wanted, we were such Beatle fans, we wanted John Lennon to be back alive and to walk in, because we wanted these celebrities to be blown away.
7
SPEAKER_01
You know, like, what would fuck them up?
7
SPEAKER_01
Oh, John Lennon s coming in.
7
SPEAKER_01
So when I was in the 70s, my friends and I had a club called What s It Gotta Do With John Lennon?
7
SPEAKER_01
And we had t-shirts made.
7
SPEAKER_01
And we actually wrote a song, What s It Gotta Do With John Lennon?
7
SPEAKER_01
Also, McCartney freaks too.
7
SPEAKER_01
We had McCartney t-shirts as well.
7
SPEAKER_01
But Ringo s up there with you too, right?
7
SPEAKER_01
They were me brothers.
7
SPEAKER_01
They were me brothers.
7
SPEAKER_01
I like Ringo.
7
SPEAKER_01
And George was sort of like this, you know, Joan and Paul were the primary songwriters.
7
SPEAKER_01
And Lennon was like this, and Paul was like this.
7
SPEAKER_01
Thank you, David, for setting me up for doing impressions I ve done 12,000 times.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s all right.
7
SPEAKER_00
We re still hanging in there.
7
SPEAKER_00
All right, you guys.
7
SPEAKER_00
Thank you for the questions.
7
SPEAKER_00
Keep them coming, and we ll keep our answers not brief.
7
SPEAKER_00
Enjoy Kamala Harris.
7
SPEAKER_01
She s up next.
7
SPEAKER_01
Fly on the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13.
7
SPEAKER_01
Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes.
7
SPEAKER_01
Executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corcoran of Cadence 13, and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment.
7
SPEAKER_01
Production and engineering led by Greg Holtzman, Richard Cook, Serena Regan, and Chris Basil of Cadence 13.