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Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert.
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I m Buck Minister and I m joined by Lily Pad.
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Buck Minister.
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Yeah, that s the street that Ken Kennedy grew up on.
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You know the famous story where he got pulled over as a 16 in his Mustang and the cop was being very aggressive to him?
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And he came up to the window and he s, license and registration.
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He looks at his license, he goes,
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You have any idea why I stopped you this evening, Mr. Buckminster?
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He read- No, he read- Yes, he read the street.
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No.
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Yes, he read the street.
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Mr. Buckminster.
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Oh my God, that s great.
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That is so good.
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Today we have Christina Applegate.
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Christina Applegate is a beloved actor that I ve been loving since I was a child.
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She s an icon.
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And she was a child.
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She is an icon.
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Married with children, of course, the sweetest thing.
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Anchorman.
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fucking holds her own against all the heavyweights is impressive.
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I got to know her personally on Bad Moms.
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And then of course, Dead to Me was so fantastic.
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And she has a podcast out right now with Jamie Lynn Seigler called Messi, M-E-S-S-Y, capital S on that, which we get into.
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So check out Messi.
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We should say, this is the third field trip
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I know.
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Three weeks.
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We basically have a mobile operation now.
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I know.
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It s been kind of fun.
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I m resistant to it, but I like getting into a different environment.
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We re not trading in the attic or anything, but it was good to get out.
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Yes.
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So from Christina s bedroom, please enjoy Christina Applegate.
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We will make sure everything s quiet for you guys.
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We re in a construction site.
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If you had come to my house, there s a bobcat right now in front of the house going back and forth, back and forth.
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Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
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And we were just recording.
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You can hear it.
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My daughter will stop playing piano in a moment.
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Tell her to take her time.
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Sounds beautiful.
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All the animals will be locked up.
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Housekeepers will be fired, and everything s going to be fine.
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Sadie s going to have to stop.
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I feel bad, but she s going to have to stop playing piano.
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How old is she?
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13.
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Wow, she s so good.
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She taught herself how to play piano in the last month.
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It freaks me out.
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That s crazy.
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Yeah.
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She just started playing piano a month ago by herself.
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No.
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Oh my God.
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Yeah, she YouTubes it.
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No.
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It goes down and it just starts playing songs.
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Wow.
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Wow, this kind of perhaps settles an argument we re having in the household.
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Kristen, of course, I need to come up too.
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I can t hear.
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We can t hear a goddamn thing, Rob.
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Oh boy.
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All righty then.
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The fuck, Rob!
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Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk,
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Fucking, talking, talking.
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The argument in our house right now, it s not an argument.
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Of course, it s very important to her that they learn instruments and we make appointments and we take them and they don t practice and they don t want to do it.
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And I m kind of of the opinion like people who play instruments, you couldn t have kept them from playing those instruments.
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These kids we knew growing up, they were in their fucking room with a guitar for 12 hours and your daughter, she s just doing it, right?
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Yeah, so I ve lived through this because I was that mom.
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when she was younger.
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She was in dance.
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I was a dancer.
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So that was the most important thing to me in the entire world was that she was a dancer.
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I was like, you are going to death.
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And soccer, piano, singing, all the things.
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This poor kid got so burnt out and then hated all of it.
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And then all of a sudden she didn t want to do nothing.
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So I just said, okay, you re not going to do anything.
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She actually was really good at dance.
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Didn t want to do it.
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She was terrible at soccer.
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Not going to be Mia Hamm.
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Not going to happen.
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I was like, we re good with that.
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Piano, she didn t want anything to do with it.
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I actually would take the lessons.
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The teacher would come and then she would just like- This is exactly what Kristen would do.
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Fuck off.
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And then I d be like, no, I m learning Bach.
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And just recently she taught herself how to play piano.
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She s taking
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cello lessons once a week.
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She s in the orchestra at her school.
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Instigated by her, though, right?
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Her.
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That s the difference.
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I had to take the talons out.
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Recently, with schoolwork and stuff like that, too, I was told by other moms, they re like, stop it.
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Let her fail.
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Because she s 13.
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And I was like, I can t do that.
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I can t let her fail.
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You ll have failed, right, if she fails.
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Well, yes, that ego of let s be perfect.
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So now, yeah, she goes down basically every single night and plays piano for an hour or two and teaches herself songs.
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No, we just walked in and my guess would be she s like year four of lessons every day.
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No, she s never had a piano lesson.
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except for- The ones you forced on her.
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At five.
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Right, exactly, yes.
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Now she s 13.
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But now she goes down, she s like.
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She s playing all this stuff and I m like, what is happening?
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It s really lovely.
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Yeah, it sounded like when the piano, you just put it on a setting and it just plays on its own.
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Oh, right, right, like an automatic piano.
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Oh, she sounded like a fake piano?
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Yeah.
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That s awesome.
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That s the ultimate compliment.
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You sound like a fake piano.
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I think I m gonna tell her that you guys said that.
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Yes, do.
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I think she s gonna be really, and she loves it so much because it s the one thing that she doesn t have a lesson for.
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Like cello is a lesson.
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Were you somebody that liked being instructed or did you like figuring things out on your own?
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I have like a nickname from my last job, which is called, no, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.
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No, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.
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Don t even, you don t even need to tell me, I know.
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Which has annoyed mostly the male directors that I work with, but my female, for dead to me, they got me.
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I would make fun of myself, and I m like, I m sorry.
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They couldn t even get across the entire set, and I was like, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.
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Got it, checked in.
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I m super similar that way.
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I hate receiving instruction.
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Anything I know how to do, I kind of just figured out.
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Other than taking classes at the Groundlings, they did teach me all the rules.
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But my own vanity, because I m younger brother maybe?
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Do you have siblings?
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I have half siblings and we were not raised together.
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I already knew this.
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Let s just say that.
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You knew, you knew, you knew, you knew.
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Well, just like I m embarrassed I just asked.
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I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.
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I just did it real time.
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No house living or growing up together and we text.
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Yes.
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But I love them with all my heart.
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I have a new nephew and he s so cute.
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He s so Applegate.
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He is.
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It s like Applegate knows.
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But then he has this amazing chin, dimple.
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Dimple, so cute.
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SPEAKER_02
We re not fully bled, my brother and sister and I. Dad had a second family, basically, right?
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That we didn t know about.
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Oh, you didn t know about?
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No, that was a joke.
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Oh, Pam.
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Would ve been so juicy.
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I know, no, my dad left when I was three months old.
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My mom and dad separated, and then he met my stepmother in Big Sur in a tree.
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Like at Esalen or something?
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At Ventana.
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Okay, is that the same?
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SPEAKER_02
No, no, no, what s the restaurant?
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Ventana is the hotel, and then there s like the restaurant-y thing.
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It s kind of like a hippie spiritual.
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Yeah, she said she could feel something, and she came down,
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and there was this man and she said, are you a Scorpio?
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And he was like, I am.
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And so that was in 1971.
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They re still together.
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Yeah.
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That s pretty impressive.
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We re veering off, sorry.
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That s the goal.
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Oh yeah, we re all over the place.
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Okay, yeah, no, that s, you should listen, our podcast, sorry, our podcasts are not competing in any way.
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Although they both share the messiness.
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Messy, yes, but we re like messy.
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It s not like a messy.
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I mean, if we talk about the messy,
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Oh, is that a slang for MS?
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Oh my God.
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I did see that the S was huge and I didn t put it together.
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Okay, well now, okay, dumbass.
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I feel so stupid.
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You kind of seem a little...
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I need instruction.
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Fucking words that I shouldn t say.
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But that s kind of our jam, is that we don t have a plan.
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Okay, I feel so stupid I didn t pick that up.
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And I honestly thought- It s subtle.
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Someone had a typo.
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Someone accidentally capitalized the S. No, that was my idea, to put the big M and the big S. It s good.
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It s me, dyslexia, it s whatever I can blame.
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You have so many issues, I know.
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I know, yes.
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It s a miracle I m here.
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Myriad issues.
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Myriad of setbacks.
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Oh, I have to say something to you.
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Sorry, I m gonna sidebar.
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Okay, so I m gonna start to laugh so hard.
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Kristen and I, we did a movie together and I love her and she s amazing and I love you, but the first time we met, you don t even know that we met.
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Okay.
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Excited.
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It s such a good story.
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I m so excited.
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Okay.
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I can t wait.
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It s not long.
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But I m going to make it long because that s what I do.
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I pontificate.
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You tell stories like Kristen s where she s like, I went to the grocery store yesterday.
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You know where I went to elementary school, right?
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It just keeps going back.
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Yeah, I try to hold it back.
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I said to someone the other day, that s a lot of answers to questions I didn t ask.
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So let s break it back down to get to the point.
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Period, dot.
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Okay, so your beautiful wife was in hair at the Hollywood Bowl.
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Oh, yes.
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It rained, which was weird.
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It was summer.
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Not the night that I was there.
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Oh.
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I did not know her yet.
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We had not done Bad Moms together, and my friend Rhett George was in the show, and he was the only cast member who refused to take off his clothes, which I love him for his integrity, but also I was like, come on, Rhett, you know you ve got a big schlong.
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Anyway.
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Let s see that big ol  shazeej.
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So we were going backstage to see Rhett,
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and Kristen and you were in front of us and you were playing security guard and you literally shoved me into a wall.
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Yes, you shoved me into a wall.
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You re like, get back!
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No.
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Get back!
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Oh my God.
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There is no way I shoved a woman, especially you.
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Me and my husband, Martin.
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I might have shoved your husband.
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No, you shoved both of us.
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As if I was going to try to get a piece of the cloth of her clothes.
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He does get very protective.
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But I m like, really dude?
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We re going to see Rhett George.
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Oh, I would have hated me.
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I m like, get over yourself.
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No one s trying to talk to her.
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We were not pleased with you, but I look fondly on it and I laugh because you were really protective and that s kind of beautiful.
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But you were like, get back everybody.
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It was like a crowd, like as if she was Beyonce or something.
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Not to say that.
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SPEAKER_00
She s not Beyonce.
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No.
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SPEAKER_00
She s not Beyonce.
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SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
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People that need security.
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Taylor Swift with the things.
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Yes, yes, yes, yes.
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But it was like the arms were going back and I was like,
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Fuck that, dude.
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Anyway, I love you, though.
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Well, hold on, though, before we move on.
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SPEAKER_01
Okay.
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I m, of course, having a hard time reconciling that story with my image of myself.
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SPEAKER_00
So just let s start there.
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Oh, boy.
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But secondly— Here s my harp.
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SPEAKER_00
No, no.
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Secondly, I m sorry.
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SPEAKER_00
Truly.
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SPEAKER_01
It s okay.
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SPEAKER_00
I must have felt like a lot of people were trying to get her or something.
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And maybe I overreacted.
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I laugh about it now.
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You know, of course, in the moment you re like, this is a good show.
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SPEAKER_01
Well, I would hate me.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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No, but there was a lot of people.
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SPEAKER_00
Too many people.
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It was very crowdy.
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SPEAKER_00
I get tense when there s too many people.
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SPEAKER_01
Her dressing room was to the left, I believe, and Rhett George was to the right.
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I was just trying to get to my friend Rhett George.
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I didn t know your way for that time.
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SPEAKER_00
I clearly didn t.
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I was just like, I want to get to Rhett, who did not take off his clothes.
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SPEAKER_01
Right.
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That s all I want to do.
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SPEAKER_00
You need to get in there and tell him he should have taken off his clothes.
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SPEAKER_01
Well, I kind of love him for
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or not, because I saw a butthole that night.
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SPEAKER_00
Anus.
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SPEAKER_01
Anus.
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SPEAKER_00
Majoris.
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SPEAKER_00
Anus.
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SPEAKER_00
And we were really close.
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SPEAKER_01
We were like in a box and I was like, should have bleached that.
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SPEAKER_00
Groomed.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, no.
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SPEAKER_01
There was a big butthole in my face.
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SPEAKER_00
Okay, so what I know for sure is that I clearly didn t see it was you because obviously I m an enormous fan of yours, always have been, and I feel like we ve met before because I think I came up to you and talked about Louis.
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SPEAKER_00
That s a fun subject.
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SPEAKER_00
We don t need to talk about it, but it just so happens that I happen to know a dude from the program that had dated you forever.
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SPEAKER_00
He at one time was my sponsor.
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SPEAKER_00
He also proved to be crazy in many ways.
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SPEAKER_00
Louie, I m sorry that I m laughing that you were a sponsor.
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SPEAKER_00
So I thought we could bond.
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SPEAKER_01
Like maybe not be a sponsor.
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SPEAKER_00
So when we met, I was excited.
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SPEAKER_00
I thought we could bond over the notion that we had both been wooed by somebody and then perhaps maybe shouldn t have trusted the person so much.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I remember that being our first conversation, me bringing up Louis.
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SPEAKER_01
I apologize for me thinking that was the first time.
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SPEAKER_01
I think it s just the time that stuck out.
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SPEAKER_00
If someone shoved me, I would remember them for, well, I remember everyone that shoved me.
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SPEAKER_01
Martina and I were like, we just got shoved, like physically assaulted just now by Dax Shepard.
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SPEAKER_01
Physically.
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SPEAKER_00
I m flattered you even knew it was me.
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SPEAKER_01
Of course, well, you were with your wife.
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SPEAKER_01
I know who you guys are.
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SPEAKER_01
You re pretty eyes.
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SPEAKER_00
Well, then how would you rank our experience while you guys were doing bad moms?
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SPEAKER_00
Because I m enamored by you.
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SPEAKER_00
I think I was shining as bright as I could to get your affections.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, honey, your wife is golden.
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SPEAKER_01
I could thank her for a lot of things, not only just being an exceptional human being, a great actress, but also what you guys did for our kids and the public.
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SPEAKER_01
We cannot thank you enough.
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SPEAKER_00
Wow.
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SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
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SPEAKER_00
I had a baby girl at that time.
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SPEAKER_00
You re a year and a half ahead of us.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
You guys had a baby when we did Bad Moms, I think.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, we had both.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was down there in New Orleans with two little tiny ones.
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SPEAKER_01
And I had my tiny one.
1
SPEAKER_01
Everybody was there.
1
SPEAKER_01
Mila had the baby.
1
SPEAKER_01
And it was really sweet because it was a movie about moms.
1
SPEAKER_01
And people always ask me, where was your inspiration for your character?
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SPEAKER_01
And I was like, pretty much everyone at preschool.
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SPEAKER_01
We re going there.
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SPEAKER_01
And I m going to expose you.
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SPEAKER_01
That s what s happening.
1
SPEAKER_01
And the funny thing is when Sadie ended up at her elementary school, I was on the board of...
1
SPEAKER_01
It s so ironic and so gross, like I gross myself out about this.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was on the healthy eating committee and went to every room.
1
SPEAKER_01
one year to talk about the foods that we were not allowed to have in the school.
1
SPEAKER_01
And this was after the movie.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I didn t make the connection that I was like that dick parent who was like, you know, at the birthday parties that we have here, can you please not bring sugar?
1
SPEAKER_01
I will provide vegan muffins and skewers with pineapple.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God, that s really funny.
1
SPEAKER_01
I want to throw up.
1
SPEAKER_00
You re a unicorn in that you re actually from here.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s kind of rare.
1
SPEAKER_01
Not even from here, like within one mile radius of this house, which we will not say where it is, but I m pretty sure people know.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I ve never lived outside of this neighborhood one mile.
1
SPEAKER_00
No way.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, never.
1
SPEAKER_00
Did you go to that little elementary school?
1
SPEAKER_00
I did.
1
SPEAKER_00
No.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so your mother was an actress and a dancer and these things.
1
SPEAKER_01
She was not a dancer.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
Do your research.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, I blame Wikipedia.
1
SPEAKER_00
And dad was a music producer.
1
SPEAKER_01
He was A&R.
1
SPEAKER_01
He found Billy Idol.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, not found Billy Idol.
1
SPEAKER_01
Gen X was Gen X, but then my dad was vice president of promotions at Casablanca, so a lot of the people that came out was like Billy Idol, Donna Summer.
1
SPEAKER_00
And did you have the coolest record collection when you were a kid?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yes, and I still have them.
1
SPEAKER_01
Fuck.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, I still have them.
1
SPEAKER_01
With the thing that says, for promotion only.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_01
They re in my garage.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I would love it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Casablanca had the very coolest icon.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was like an Arabian landscape.
1
SPEAKER_00
There was palm trees.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was very cool.
1
SPEAKER_01
I think it might be- Morocco.
1
SPEAKER_00
Casablanca.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, of course.
1
SPEAKER_01
I just thought it was like Malibu, but now you re blowing my mind.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
I used to stare at those albums that my father had and just stare at that image.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s a very memorable one.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, my dad was the president of promotions at Casablanca for years.
1
SPEAKER_00
So you had unlimited tapes and cassettes and shit growing up.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, no, at first it was albums.
1
SPEAKER_00
But we re the same age.
1
SPEAKER_00
At some point, tapes were the thing.
1
SPEAKER_01
Right, but my dad wasn t there anymore.
1
SPEAKER_01
But Sadie and I were talking about tapes today.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I said, you know what a cassette tape is?
1
SPEAKER_01
She goes, oh my God, yeah, mom.
1
SPEAKER_01
I have a cassette tape of Billie Eilish.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, she put out a cassette?
1
SPEAKER_01
And she goes, but I can t play it.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I said, you can, because guess what?
1
SPEAKER_01
Your mother has a cassette player.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know what would be great is to give her a Walkman.
1
SPEAKER_00
I went down a rabbit hole two weeks ago thinking, you know, as a kid, I really wanted this expensive Walkman with auto reverse, but we couldn t afford one.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, you know what?
1
SPEAKER_00
I finally have enough money.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m going to get one and heal that.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I was just shopping for them.
1
SPEAKER_00
They re so cool.
1
SPEAKER_01
They are, but then there s the thing with the tape.
1
SPEAKER_01
Then the thing comes out and then you ve got to like, it just gets ruined.
1
SPEAKER_01
The tape comes out and it s just a disaster.
1
SPEAKER_01
It is, it is.
1
SPEAKER_01
My whole childhood was just a disaster.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_01
Write in a book about how bad that part of my childhood is.
1
SPEAKER_00
The tape era.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
You had to refurbish it?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
And if someone did like a, what do they call them?
1
SPEAKER_01
When you give someone that you love a thing?
1
SPEAKER_00
Mixtape.
1
SPEAKER_01
Mixtape.
1
SPEAKER_01
You re fucked.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Once that little guy goes out, then you re like... And that was your symbol of love, that you re in love.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, aren t you delighted with the era we grew up in?
1
SPEAKER_00
Mixtapes.
1
SPEAKER_01
Are we delighted by that?
1
SPEAKER_01
I am.
1
SPEAKER_01
I kind of like the creature comforts of not.
1
SPEAKER_01
I can go on my thing and just play a song.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, obviously things have gotten easier and easier, but we didn t know there wasn t anything easier.
1
SPEAKER_01
We didn t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
The fact that there was auto reverse, it would automatically play the backside of the tape without flipping it over.
1
SPEAKER_00
That felt impossible.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like that s just saved me hours of my life.
1
SPEAKER_00
So everything was getting better the whole ride.
1
SPEAKER_00
But I think there is something still like we might have the last cute phase of 50s childhood.
1
SPEAKER_00
We had these trinkets and these stupid things.
1
SPEAKER_00
Now everything s digital.
1
SPEAKER_00
Nothing s really happened.
1
SPEAKER_00
The little dumb thing you look at changes.
1
SPEAKER_00
But we had different mediums and stuff that we were going through.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was talking to someone the other day and they re like, you romanticize being Gen X. And I m like, I don t think that s what s happening.
1
SPEAKER_01
I think what we re trying to say to this generation now is your paper cut doesn t mean shit.
1
SPEAKER_01
When we got a paper cut, our parents were like, yeah, we re going to go to the bar.
1
SPEAKER_01
Have fun with that.
1
SPEAKER_00
If they were even around to complain about the paper cut.
1
SPEAKER_00
My mom was like working all day.
1
SPEAKER_01
No one was there.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was walking home from my school at eight in the rain.
1
SPEAKER_01
Literally, I was that guy.
1
SPEAKER_01
I walked a mile from school in the rain.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know, that thing that people say.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
I legitimately was walking home.
1
SPEAKER_01
And if I didn t get molested by the weird rock stars up in the canyon.
1
SPEAKER_00
Right.
1
SPEAKER_01
It was a good day.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yes, yes.
1
SPEAKER_01
Sorry, I know that s really grim.
1
SPEAKER_00
No, no.
1
SPEAKER_01
Also gonna be in the book.
1
SPEAKER_01
Also very 80s getting molested.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was molested.
1
SPEAKER_00
Very 80s.
1
SPEAKER_00
Everyone I know in the 80s was molested.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s so 80s.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s so 80s.
1
SPEAKER_00
Tell us that you re from the 80s without saying you re from the 80s.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s really 70s for me.
1
SPEAKER_01
I think that was when.
1
SPEAKER_00
The prime.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, diddliners.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Aren t you so nostalgic for that time?
1
SPEAKER_01
By the adult peeps.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Couldn t they find someone?
1
SPEAKER_01
Anywho, that was fun.
1
SPEAKER_00
You acted for the first time at three months old in a commercial.
1
SPEAKER_00
I love it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Was it a commercial?
1
SPEAKER_00
You were a baby, yes.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, a commercial in, I think, a soap.
1
SPEAKER_00
I can tell you exactly the process.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, can you tell me?
1
SPEAKER_00
Because I really don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
First was Playtex baby bottles at three months old.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
She spits up less.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s what my mom said in the commercial.
1
SPEAKER_01
She spits up less.
1
SPEAKER_01
And it was my mom holding me, and she was so beautiful.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that was your mom as well on the show.
1
SPEAKER_00
Because you were on Days of Our Lives with your mom as well, right?
1
SPEAKER_00
Same era.
1
SPEAKER_01
Same month, I think.
1
SPEAKER_01
Same three-month-old baby.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I guess we can tell exactly what the time frame was.
1
SPEAKER_00
You were three months old in both.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then by 10, you re in movies.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I m just curious, mom obviously acted.
1
SPEAKER_00
Is it something that, back to what we were saying about trying to get your kids to do something versus they just want to do it.
1
SPEAKER_00
There s nothing you can do to stop them.
1
SPEAKER_00
Where are you at on that spectrum when you were little?
1
SPEAKER_01
I just had to.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then once I started making money at three years old, I started making a lot of money.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was doing radio commercials for Kmart with Josh Richman.
1
SPEAKER_01
Do you know Josh?
1
SPEAKER_01
He used to walk with the King.
1
SPEAKER_00
The King.
1
SPEAKER_01
I totally know him.
2
SPEAKER_00
Best friends with everybody.
2
SPEAKER_00
Him and Downey are best friends.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yep.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, fuck.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
Wait, you re gonna love this.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re gonna love this.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s Ed O Neill calling me right now.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, what a blast.
2
SPEAKER_02
Ed was really funny.
2
SPEAKER_02
You should answer it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Sorry, I didn t turn my phone off.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s okay.
2
SPEAKER_02
We don t care.
2
SPEAKER_00
I ve never met him, but I just watched his Finding Your Roots episode, and I concluded we would be fast friends.
2
SPEAKER_00
Because he was very violent when he was younger.
2
SPEAKER_00
Then he came here, he turned his whole life- Did he shove people?
2
SPEAKER_01
He probably shoved some people.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
He and I talk almost every day right now.
2
SPEAKER_00
No kidding.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, we do.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m so sorry I didn t turn my phone off, but anyway.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, it s fine.
2
SPEAKER_01
That was a fun pop out.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was a little Eddie.
2
SPEAKER_01
What were we talking about?
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so I started doing these commercials with Josh Richman, who everyone knows, and I love him to death.
2
SPEAKER_01
age three till I was seven, we were called Mr. and Mrs. Goof Proof, and it was when Kmart started doing the photo thing, you know, get your photos done here.
2
SPEAKER_01
The first place that ever did it.
2
SPEAKER_01
We got like Clio awards and stuff, and I made a shit ton of money.
2
SPEAKER_01
And my mom was like, Coolio, I don t have to work anymore.
2
SPEAKER_00
Did you know that you were making a lot of money?
2
SPEAKER_01
I was three.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
Three to seven, I made so much money that my mom bought a house as an investment, which we never lived in.
2
SPEAKER_01
But then I ended up living in it when I was 17.
2
SPEAKER_01
I moved out when I was 17.
2
SPEAKER_00
Into a house you had owned since you were three?
2
SPEAKER_01
Three, seven.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, we bought it when I was seven.
2
SPEAKER_01
I lived there for three years and it s behind the country store in Laurel Canyon.
2
SPEAKER_02
So this is pre-Cougan account or post?
2
SPEAKER_02
Post.
2
SPEAKER_02
There was money set aside.
2
SPEAKER_00
Some small percentage.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s not much, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, mom, I love you.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was the only one making money.
2
SPEAKER_00
You were the primary breadwinner.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes, and Hannah and me.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Also in the book.
2
SPEAKER_00
Do you have a moment that you remember it switching to something that you very much wanted to do?
2
SPEAKER_00
I mean, of course, for me, I really want to know that when you were married with children, you actually wanted to and were excited.
2
SPEAKER_00
Maybe not.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
So my brain s going through a lot of visuals.
2
SPEAKER_01
I always had to do it.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then when I was 13, I said to her, I don t want to do this anymore.
2
SPEAKER_01
I want to hang out with my friends.
2
SPEAKER_01
I want to make bad decisions.
2
SPEAKER_01
I want to do all the things.
2
SPEAKER_01
And she goes, okay, I ll call your agent and say no.
2
SPEAKER_01
And at that time my head was shaved.
2
SPEAKER_00
You were making some statements.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I had eyeliner that had crosses on it on the side.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like I was that guy.
2
SPEAKER_00
We are both punk rock kids.
2
SPEAKER_01
Smoking cigarettes, listening to The Cure, freaking out.
2
SPEAKER_00
The Smiths?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Psychedelic Furs?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
Susie and the Munchies?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, love.
2
SPEAKER_01
Love Susie.
2
SPEAKER_00
I would have flirted with you.
2
SPEAKER_01
We would have had sex.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was all shaved and then, you know, like a little bit of hair.
2
SPEAKER_01
That was weird.
2
SPEAKER_01
There s footage of it in pictures somewhere.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s in the book.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s in the book.
2
SPEAKER_01
So she goes, I m gonna call right now.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I went upstairs, a 750 square foot row house.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s where I grew up.
2
SPEAKER_01
Very tiny.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m sorry, New York, that is a mansion.
2
SPEAKER_01
Sure, sure, sure.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s a freaking mansion.
2
SPEAKER_01
We don t have to qualify that.
2
SPEAKER_00
No.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s a lot of room for a 13 year old.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was a row house.
2
SPEAKER_00
You had to walk through bedrooms to get to other bedrooms.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I got really panicked.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I came downstairs within like 20 minutes and I was like, don t call her.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m good.
2
SPEAKER_01
And from that day forward at 13 years old, I have not stopped working until becoming disabled.
2
SPEAKER_01
Honestly, go on my MDB.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s what I call it.
2
SPEAKER_01
The MDB.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s what everyone s calling it.
2
SPEAKER_01
MDB?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
IMDB for anyone who doesn t.
2
SPEAKER_00
But doesn t that isolate the whole mentality of this fucking business right there is like, you don t want to do it.
2
SPEAKER_00
The second you do it and it occurs to you, you might not ever get invited back.
2
SPEAKER_00
You re immediately like, Oh,
2
SPEAKER_01
But it wasn t about being invited back.
2
SPEAKER_01
That was home.
2
SPEAKER_01
That was your identity.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it s been.
2
SPEAKER_01
And that s what I m dealing with now, taking that out of my life and probably not being able to work again, going
2
SPEAKER_01
Who am I?
2
SPEAKER_00
Who the fuck am I?
2
SPEAKER_00
Thank God you had a child, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God, I d be... She s my get up in the morning and she s my go to sleep with hope that I get up in the morning.
2
SPEAKER_01
And now I m like, what am I supposed to do?
2
SPEAKER_01
I ve grown up on a set.
2
SPEAKER_01
And that sounds creepy.
2
SPEAKER_01
It sounds really child actory, but it s not about that.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s about the camaraderie and growing up and being professional and loving people and enjoying humans.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, it feels good to be good at a job, any given job.
2
SPEAKER_00
When you re good at it and you get to go to a place and people trusted you and you deliver, that s a very rewarding, esteem-building experience.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was not good.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was terrible.
2
SPEAKER_01
Go watch this crap.
2
SPEAKER_01
Terrible.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no, no.
2
SPEAKER_02
That is not true.
2
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no, no.
2
SPEAKER_01
I didn t know comedy.
2
SPEAKER_01
I thought comedy was for douchebags.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was such a serious little 13-year-old.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was like, no, I have to do drama.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then I made a career doing this.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that s my dog barking.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s one of two dogs that you have.
2
SPEAKER_01
They greeted us at the door.
2
SPEAKER_00
So let me ask you, so I m in a different situation, which is I moved all the way across the country to be here for eight years.
2
SPEAKER_01
Can we, hold on.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, we can pause.
2
SPEAKER_01
I want to pause because this can t.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay, this can continue.
2
SPEAKER_01
We can just give her to someone.
2
SPEAKER_00
Give her a steak covered in Ambien.
2
SPEAKER_02
We can probably just let her out front and see what happens.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, this seems like really friendly territory for a tiny dog up in the mountains where the coyotes run free.
2
SPEAKER_01
They re on my property right now because
2
SPEAKER_01
the mudslides from the river storm thing.
2
SPEAKER_01
Half my hill came down all into my pool.
2
SPEAKER_01
I know, stupid people problems.
2
SPEAKER_01
But pool all the way up in mud and could come down on the house.
2
SPEAKER_01
So now the fence that we had up there, they just come down.
2
SPEAKER_01
They can smell the animals.
2
SPEAKER_01
I just texted Rachel to say that.
2
SPEAKER_00
We too have them in our yard.
2
SPEAKER_00
We might have to snuff the dog out.
2
SPEAKER_00
I could take out my anger against my own dogs on your dogs.
2
SPEAKER_00
But back to me.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, of course.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re a shover.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m a shover.
2
SPEAKER_00
Forever known.
2
SPEAKER_00
I might get canceled after this interview, but you know what?
2
SPEAKER_00
It s time.
2
SPEAKER_01
It wasn t like a male to female.
2
SPEAKER_00
Unless it s longer.
2
SPEAKER_01
You didn t know.
2
SPEAKER_01
You were just like, get back.
2
SPEAKER_00
Everyone get back.
2
SPEAKER_02
I know we have talked about what you re talking about, but it s so relevant.
2
SPEAKER_02
We were on a plane flight the other day, and there was a guy being rude to the flight attendant.
2
SPEAKER_00
Very.
2
SPEAKER_02
And Dax, I could see he was starting to spiral out about needing to protect this flight attendant.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, as one should.
2
SPEAKER_00
As you should, but also... This is a cheap shot, but when you watch your mom get beat up by stepdads, it ain t happening on my watch.
2
SPEAKER_02
I understand.
2
SPEAKER_00
Fuck it.
2
SPEAKER_01
You agree, you see that.
2
SPEAKER_01
Watch my mom go into a coma from the same thing, so I ve got you.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s gonna be in my book too.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
This is a thick book.
2
SPEAKER_01
I hope I have time.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s gonna be a thousand pages.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s actually something I m working on, so all the things.
2
SPEAKER_00
Me too.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, good.
2
SPEAKER_00
We re at the same spot in life, by the way.
2
SPEAKER_00
And that s the point I was about to make.
2
SPEAKER_00
Go ahead, Monica, I cut you off.
2
SPEAKER_01
No, but you had something, then she cut you off.
2
SPEAKER_00
Now it s you.
2
SPEAKER_00
But she s entitled to.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay, good.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s nice.
2
SPEAKER_02
I was just going to say that you gave him an eye of like, I see you, I see what you re doing.
2
SPEAKER_02
He kind of stopped.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then after you decide to look him up, because you had the thought.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh shit.
2
SPEAKER_02
We were coming back from.
2
SPEAKER_01
What is a femme?
2
SPEAKER_01
Was it a femme person?
2
SPEAKER_01
That s what I call them.
2
SPEAKER_02
It wasn t.
2
SPEAKER_00
Adjacent.
2
SPEAKER_02
Fam and Jason, but we were happy to see, it was like, oh fuck, what if that s like- I ll tell you the whole thing.
2
SPEAKER_00
I had moderated a panel for Amazon that night in South by Southwest.
2
SPEAKER_00
We get on the plane, this guy s a fucking asshole.
2
SPEAKER_00
I look at him and I m like, I see you, you re a fucking dick.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I m staring at him, he goes, hi.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I won t answer.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m just staring a hole through him.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then he goes.
2
SPEAKER_00
You were so funny at the panel last night.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then I went, no, no.
2
SPEAKER_00
Then I went, oh fuck.
2
SPEAKER_00
He s high up at Amazon.
2
SPEAKER_00
I just kind of shit the bed and pissed someone off that had basically brought me out there to work.
2
SPEAKER_00
So then I m spiraling for the whole flight.
2
SPEAKER_00
He s one seat in front of us.
2
SPEAKER_00
He opens up his laptop.
2
SPEAKER_00
I see his name.
2
SPEAKER_00
I panically write it down.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then as soon as we land, I look him up.
2
SPEAKER_00
Thank God.
2
SPEAKER_00
And you would have guessed it.
2
SPEAKER_00
He s a fucking lawyer.
2
SPEAKER_02
The point is, you just don t know who you re dealing with.
2
SPEAKER_02
You don t know who you re shoving.
2
SPEAKER_02
You don t know who you re staring at.
2
SPEAKER_02
You just don t know.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m a bull in a china shop, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
A Tony Award nominated actress.
2
SPEAKER_01
You gotta be careful out there.
2
SPEAKER_00
One of my childhood favorites.
2
SPEAKER_01
When you re trying to protect.
2
SPEAKER_01
I seriously have no bone to pick with you about, like, it just made Martina and I laugh.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like I said, Kristen, yes, she was awesome in the show, but she wasn t that awesome.
2
SPEAKER_01
Fucking Michael Jackson.
2
SPEAKER_01
Is that Obama?
2
SPEAKER_00
That s a bad.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s not Obama.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
I almost said Michael Jackson, then I was like, wait.
2
SPEAKER_00
You were running out of fucking references for me to say.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s like Bill Cosby.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, no, no.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s like Michael Jackson.
2
Oh, fuck.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s like Bill O Reilly.
2
Oh, no, don t do that.
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_02
I cut you off.
2
SPEAKER_00
So all I was going to say, I moved here.
2
SPEAKER_00
I could not get a job.
2
SPEAKER_00
Punk was my first thing is I got, and I haven t had it for 10 years.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I have been out here begging to get hired for 30 years and this started and I retired from acting a couple of years ago.
2
SPEAKER_00
But for me, I felt so,
2
SPEAKER_00
good about that.
2
SPEAKER_00
To me, I was like, Oh my God, I m finally not begging you to like me, but I got to choose it.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I think that s the only difference.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like, I wonder if you got to choose that I m unplugging from this whole experience versus the choice was made for you.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I think it s really fascinating how the way things come into your life and the way it s framed really impacts how you can then
2
SPEAKER_00
Take it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you didn t get to pick no, and I wonder if you got to pick if you d be feeling kind of the elation I have which is like oh, I m off the treadmill where I m not worried how the last thing don t say treadmill to a cripple.
2
SPEAKER_01
Don t know Baby baby, I m allowed to say whatever I want, but you should give us a list of words.
2
SPEAKER_00
We can t say I don t care what
2
SPEAKER_01
I m not precious about any words.
2
SPEAKER_01
People might be precious because I do throw certain words around, but I m allowed to now.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I also have better parking than all of you.
2
SPEAKER_01
But no, I did not want this.
2
SPEAKER_01
It fucking sucks.
2
SPEAKER_01
Balls.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like hairy old
3
SPEAKER_01
saggy balls that stink with a taint.
3
SPEAKER_01
Just bad balls.
3
SPEAKER_00
Athletic balls.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, I didn t want to stop.
3
SPEAKER_01
But in the last year, it has been nice to just sleep.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I haven t slept in 50 whatever years.
3
SPEAKER_01
How many years I ve been doing this?
3
SPEAKER_01
I ve been in sag since 1974.
3
SPEAKER_01
So all those years, I haven t slept.
3
SPEAKER_01
I haven t not had to show up.
3
SPEAKER_01
I haven t not had to be on and pretend
3
SPEAKER_00
You ve not been contacted by a second AD to schedule a wardrobe fitting across town.
3
SPEAKER_01
I enjoy it, but if I could switch the phone, I d rather not be disabled.
3
100%.
3
SPEAKER_01
Of course.
3
SPEAKER_01
But at least, you know, at this point in my life, I can kind of pick and choose for a minute what I would want to do if I wasn t disabled.
3
SPEAKER_01
I could finish Dead to Me and gone like, let s take six months off and then let s find something kind of cool.
3
SPEAKER_01
Two weeks work or six weeks work or
3
SPEAKER_01
whatever, I have the ability to be able to do that after all these years, I don t have that choice.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I don t like not being able to have the choice.
3
SPEAKER_00
Of course, you don t have control.
3
SPEAKER_00
No.
3
SPEAKER_00
If you notice that you know less about our business now, I don t know what movies did.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what shows are where.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what actor is making a lot of money.
3
SPEAKER_00
I just don t know anything anymore.
3
SPEAKER_01
I know nothing.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know who anyone is.
3
SPEAKER_01
We did the Oscar pool, which we always do every year.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I haven t watched a movie in years.
3
SPEAKER_01
I watched reality television.
3
SPEAKER_01
because it comforts me.
3
SPEAKER_01
Watching actors stresses me out because I can see their acting, and then I get really mad, and then I m like, ugh, yuck.
3
SPEAKER_01
But reality television, I m like, yes, I can fall asleep to this.
3
SPEAKER_01
I didn t miss anything.
3
SPEAKER_00
You go to sleep, they re bickering, you wake up, they re bickering.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, exactly.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s the most wonderful thing, and like, The Traitors is the best show that s ever been on television.
3
SPEAKER_01
I ve heard it s great.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s reality.
3
SPEAKER_01
He knows.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know Rob?
3
SPEAKER_01
He knows.
3
SPEAKER_01
Rob and I talked for half an hour about The Traitors.
3
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_01
What s The Traitors?
3
SPEAKER_01
Best show on television.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s a competition show, right, kinda?
3
SPEAKER_01
But it s manipulative, it s seedy, and it s cuckoo.
3
SPEAKER_01
And the one in America they do with reality stars, so it s like a bunch of people from Bravo and then the people from Survivor.
3
SPEAKER_01
But the ones outside of America are just people like a doctor and a lady who works at a chapeau shop.
3
SPEAKER_01
And they have to manipulate each other in order to get to the end to win this huge amount of money.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s so funny.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s kind of like Werewolves and Villagers a little bit, but on like TV.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh!
3
SPEAKER_00
Then I ve heard of it, and Kristen just suggested we should watch it with the girls.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, people really love it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I also love Naked and Afraid, and my daughter and I love Naked and Afraid.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s a very important show to us.
3
SPEAKER_01
We sit here often.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was like, I could totally do this.
3
SPEAKER_01
I know now, I know what a BOMO is, I know the first thing you should do is make shoes if you re in a hot climate.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, I know how to start fire.
3
SPEAKER_01
And Sadie s like, yeah, totally, we could totally do this.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then both of us looked at each other and she goes, mom, you re disabled, you can t.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I said, and you have POTS, which is a heart condition.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, well, I guess neither one of us are gonna be on the show.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s not gonna happen.
3
SPEAKER_00
We will not realize this dream, we ve just launched.
3
SPEAKER_01
The dream has been crushed.
3
SPEAKER_00
Have you done Alone with her, where they re up in the Arctic?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, oh, I love Alone.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s a good one with the kids.
3
SPEAKER_01
She hasn t seen it, but I ve watched it.
3
SPEAKER_01
My husband, who s a musician, but his real passion is survival.
3
SPEAKER_01
He s an instructor.
3
SPEAKER_01
What?
3
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh my goodness.
3
SPEAKER_00
I shoved the wrong guy.
3
SPEAKER_01
He could have fucking cut my throat.
3
SPEAKER_01
Honestly, he probably would.
3
SPEAKER_01
He could take you down.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m sorry.
3
SPEAKER_01
But he teaches it.
3
SPEAKER_01
In fact, he s in Canada right now doing three to four weeks of
3
SPEAKER_01
training for other people.
3
SPEAKER_01
So he s certified.
3
SPEAKER_00
No kidding.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, that s his jam.
3
SPEAKER_00
I had no idea.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah, he could like make an igloo somewhere and live in it.
3
SPEAKER_01
He d be totally fine.
3
SPEAKER_00
How comforting.
3
SPEAKER_00
I regularly have the fantasy where somewhere and I m like, what if the shit hits the fan right now?
3
SPEAKER_00
You know, like we have a bus at home and that s why I feel safe.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m like, yeah, when the shit hits the fan, we get in that bus, it s got a generator.
3
SPEAKER_00
We re good for a few weeks.
3
SPEAKER_00
We ll figure shit out.
3
SPEAKER_00
That makes me feel safe.
3
SPEAKER_00
And for you, you re like, I live with a fucking survivalist.
3
SPEAKER_01
On those shows, they get a fire starter.
3
SPEAKER_01
That dude can make a fire with a bow drill, which is not easy.
3
SPEAKER_01
I tried it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I d be dead.
3
SPEAKER_00
You gotta get the little bow, right, so you can get it going really fast.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but then you have to put the foot on the thing, but it s not as easy as it.
3
SPEAKER_00
No, and you re adding hay to it.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s called a nest, you make a nest.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s too much, it s too much.
3
SPEAKER_01
Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, we have to touch down.
3
SPEAKER_00
And this relates to your show, Messy, because the first episode, you guys interview Edie Falco, which of course is her matriarch from her experience.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then you have your own matriarch.
3
SPEAKER_01
Katie comes over and lays in the bed.
3
SPEAKER_00
I know Katie, and she is fucking awesome.
3
SPEAKER_00
She s one of my favorite humans I ve ever met.
3
SPEAKER_01
Those two fuckers raised me, so if you have a problem with me, it s their fault.
3
SPEAKER_00
So how old were you when you got on the show?
3
SPEAKER_00
16 or something?
3
15.
3
SPEAKER_00
Of all the different TV experiences in the history of television, that s in the top 10 of craziest rides someone could take.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was a new network.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was super provocative.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was so wild.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was enormous.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was every headline.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I didn t know it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m a kid from Laurel Canyon, man.
3
SPEAKER_01
I really don t know things.
3
SPEAKER_01
I didn t even know it was big.
3
SPEAKER_00
Clearly there was a light switch of recognizability though, where you re moving through the world and now you re realizing like, oh geez, I think one in four people.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was also like kind of a dick kid, like a tough girl.
3
SPEAKER_01
So also was not recognizable when I would leave work.
3
SPEAKER_01
I didn t wear those dresses.
3
SPEAKER_01
Janis Joplin was my favorite
3
SPEAKER_01
artist.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was like this hippie weirdo, no makeup, kind of grungy and kind of gross.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I just went around the world like that.
3
SPEAKER_01
And also there were no cell phones.
3
SPEAKER_01
There wasn t that thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
I stayed in my own pocket, which was my friends from the Canyon.
3
SPEAKER_01
I didn t really hang out with Hollywood people or actors.
3
SPEAKER_01
I kind of just hung out in the Canyon.
3
SPEAKER_00
What lot was that on?
3
SPEAKER_01
We had two different lots.
3
SPEAKER_01
We started out at Sunset Gower.
3
SPEAKER_00
That would have been easy from here.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, so nice.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then you moved to Fox.
3
SPEAKER_01
Sony.
3
SPEAKER_00
There s no good way to get there.
3
SPEAKER_00
I know if you re not from LA, I try to tell people this.
3
SPEAKER_00
My dream in life and the thing I would still cut off a toe to act in would be a Tarantino movie.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, then you just put it out.
3
SPEAKER_00
You put it out a lot.
3
SPEAKER_00
If Tarantino is shooting at the Sony lot, I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_00
From where I live, I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, exactly.
3
SPEAKER_01
See, I don t like going on locations too much, so I ve thought if someone was out of the country, I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
At this point.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, Kristen did it a couple years ago, and she was like, that s the last time I ll try to do that.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s too hard.
3
SPEAKER_01
You ve got multiple babies.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then I m bringing them over, and yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, it s just, and as a mom, I mean, they came up with something in the science that we actually have our children s DNA in our brain as moms.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m probably gonna sound insane, but I read something.
3
SPEAKER_01
We ll fact check it.
3
SPEAKER_00
On TikTok.
3
SPEAKER_01
Just kidding, it wasn t on TikTok.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, it was like a study.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was a study from a place that s reputable.
3
SPEAKER_01
that we have part of their DNA that has gone from the belly into our brains.
3
SPEAKER_01
So that makes us really weird.
3
SPEAKER_00
That makes total sense because your immune system is looking for things that do not have your DNA and then destroying them.
3
SPEAKER_00
So obviously it has to know the baby s DNA so it doesn t destroy the baby.
3
SPEAKER_01
I told Sadie that today.
3
SPEAKER_01
She s like, that s really freaky.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t like that mom.
3
SPEAKER_00
You sound like a cannibal mom.
3
SPEAKER_01
She said different words, but she s 13 and she cusses more than I do.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
So you didn t know that it was what it was.
3
SPEAKER_00
I didn t.
3
SPEAKER_01
I really didn t.
3
SPEAKER_00
Listen, I was in real America.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was in Michigan in that show.
3
SPEAKER_00
There was this new network.
3
SPEAKER_00
Everyone loved it.
3
SPEAKER_00
I can t remember having a show experience other than Married with Children where it was like, oh my God, this is now a show we all watch and we all talk about.
3
SPEAKER_01
They treated us like absolute shit.
3
SPEAKER_01
We were like the black sheep.
3
SPEAKER_01
We didn t get... We didn t get syndication.
3
SPEAKER_01
11 years on a TV show.
3
SPEAKER_01
I get checks for $1.25.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh no.
3
SPEAKER_01
When they sold us into syndication, they told us we were not a real network.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh right, they got out of it?
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
They gave me a bonus, a very small bonus.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was a fraction of what I was making a week.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s all we got.
3
SPEAKER_00
And probably the first cycle they sold was probably a billion dollar deal.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was a hundred million the first time.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then it just kept happening over and over again, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
It plays like 20 times a day in like 150 countries.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I get a check for $1.25 every once in a while.
3
SPEAKER_00
I feel like I might leave a 20 behind, because I enjoy it still.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so you just, yeah, just give me some money.
3
SPEAKER_01
Wait, that s crazy.
3
SPEAKER_01
You d think they would have righted that in retrospect.
3
SPEAKER_00
They got sued.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because they weren t a network.
3
SPEAKER_01
Fox was not a network.
3
SPEAKER_00
So they were under a different agreement through SAG probably and WGA.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, they loved doing that.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, it was because there was ABC, CBS, and NBC.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m just saying, they probably had a different agreement with the guilds, those networks did, and this was sliding in through the cable backdoor.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, we were just literally shit on.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then when we got canceled, they didn t tell us.
3
SPEAKER_01
10 years though?
3
11.
3
SPEAKER_01
11 years.
3
SPEAKER_01
11 seasons.
3
SPEAKER_01
11 seasons.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, we were not told that we were canceled.
3
SPEAKER_01
Eddie found out from a couple at a cabin place that he was at that had heard it on the radio.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
3
SPEAKER_01
And this is actually true and you should have him on the show because he s fantastic to talk to or listen to.
3
SPEAKER_01
He said, this couple came up and said, I m so sorry about your show.
3
SPEAKER_01
And he s like, what are you talking about?
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, well, it was canceled.
3
SPEAKER_01
Literally we didn t know.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh wow.
3
SPEAKER_01
We didn t get a fruit basket.
3
SPEAKER_00
Not thanks for the 11 years.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, of starting a network.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_01
We were literally the very first show to ever air on Fox.
3
SPEAKER_00
And it was a huge hit.
3
SPEAKER_00
Not at first, because no one had it.
3
SPEAKER_00
It came on on Channel 50 after eight o clock.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, when you had to have a coat hanger and one person would hold it.
3
SPEAKER_01
UHF.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but we were the very first show to ever air.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes, that night was three shows.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think it was, I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_00
Tracy Allman Show, maybe?
3
SPEAKER_01
Was that the first night?
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
We have to fact check that, because it was only three shows.
3
SPEAKER_01
It wasn t The Simpsons, because people say that we
4
SPEAKER_01
stole the Simpsons.
4
SPEAKER_01
Hello.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m sorry.
4
SPEAKER_00
They re doing fine.
4
SPEAKER_01
They actually were an interstitial on the Tracy Allman show.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s where they started.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_00
Do you know that the working title for the show was not the Cosby show?
4
SPEAKER_00
Or no, no, that was the working title of Silver Spoons.
4
SPEAKER_00
Sorry.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, that was our title.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, wait, hold on.
4
SPEAKER_00
That was our title.
4
SPEAKER_00
Not the Cosby show.
4
SPEAKER_01
You just reminded me of something I wanted to ask you, but I had skimmed over it because we were already at Married with Children.
4
SPEAKER_01
You did all these guest roles as a teenager, and you were on Silver Spoons, which I loved when I was a kid.
4
SPEAKER_01
You were on the shows with all the heartthrobs.
4
SPEAKER_01
You were on Charles in Charge, Silver Spoons, Ricky Schroeder was every girl s- Rick.
4
SPEAKER_00
Call him Rick now.
4
SPEAKER_01
But then he was Ricky.
4
SPEAKER_01
I had a white swatch because he had a white swatch.
4
SPEAKER_01
Bateman was on it for the first- Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s where he gets his launch.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, I ve known these boys forever.
4
SPEAKER_01
He crushes on any of these boys.
4
SPEAKER_00
Not my type.
4
SPEAKER_00
I like toothless punk rockers.
4
SPEAKER_01
Uh-huh.
4
SPEAKER_01
The dad s type.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I married one.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Who s now a survivalist.
4
SPEAKER_00
But he doesn t have his front teeth.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, he doesn t?
4
SPEAKER_00
No, he hasn t since he was 20.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wonderful.
4
SPEAKER_01
And he wears like a little... No.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, he just runs with no teeth.
4
SPEAKER_01
He s punk.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s awesome.
4
SPEAKER_00
Why were you so attracted to punk rock?
4
SPEAKER_00
My mom said when I was a kid, I ve never met a junkie I didn t like.
4
SPEAKER_00
So that s a fun thing to tell your kid.
4
SPEAKER_01
My mom never met an alcoholic she didn t marry.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, all of them.
4
SPEAKER_01
We can acknowledge you weren t aware of it, but you at this point understand that every boy in America was in love with you.
4
SPEAKER_01
It went Molly Ringwald and you.
4
SPEAKER_01
You had your pick of the entire population.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I liked the ones that didn t like me.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_00
I ve got that disease.
4
SPEAKER_01
How deep have you drilled into that?
4
SPEAKER_00
Never met a junkie I didn t like.
4
SPEAKER_01
I love them.
4
SPEAKER_01
I just love them.
4
SPEAKER_00
I love a little dumpster diver.
4
SPEAKER_00
Because of the chaos that they bring?
4
SPEAKER_01
I think it s the familiarity.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s like sexy.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_00
Is it weird?
4
SPEAKER_00
It s not weird.
4
SPEAKER_00
You can t control what you like.
4
SPEAKER_00
My boyfriend died in 2008 from heroin, so it s not like a funny thing.
4
SPEAKER_00
That was one of the most devastating things that has ever happened to me in my life.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, there s been many.
4
SPEAKER_00
I joke about it, but my heart still is ripped out of my chest because of that.
4
SPEAKER_01
Again, it s similar to the MS.
4
SPEAKER_01
It happened to you.
4
SPEAKER_01
You don t get to know whether you would have on your own.
4
SPEAKER_00
No.
4
SPEAKER_00
And you want to help them?
4
SPEAKER_00
And I tried three years.
4
SPEAKER_00
Things were good.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then, as you know, it s up to them.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then I had to go take my talons out and go, I can t.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it was within a week.
4
SPEAKER_00
Once I said I can t.
4
SPEAKER_00
He was gone.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I hold that guilt so deep inside of me.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it doesn t matter how much intellectually you know.
4
SPEAKER_00
Of course.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I was like, what more could I have done?
4
SPEAKER_00
And yeah, we make jest.
4
SPEAKER_01
I say these things, you know, personally and right up front.
4
SPEAKER_01
You get to, cause you ve earned it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like you say, you make MS jokes.
4
SPEAKER_01
We re all drunks and junkies, but I m allowed to do that because I m representing myself.
4
SPEAKER_00
Also, I think if we really went to that place,
4
SPEAKER_00
It s too much.
4
SPEAKER_00
We d be on the floor.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then we d never come back up off the floor.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I m really honest about that.
4
SPEAKER_00
I make jokes.
4
SPEAKER_00
I made jokes at the Emmys.
4
SPEAKER_00
I couldn t even say the word disability.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was like... My brain was like... I make these jokes because if I don t, I ll suffocate.
4
SPEAKER_00
I ll be done.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m not ready for the healing yet.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I m being very honest.
4
SPEAKER_00
I will get there.
4
SPEAKER_00
But when someone says, have you accepted this as your new normal?
4
SPEAKER_00
No, fuck you.
4
SPEAKER_00
Absolutely not.
4
SPEAKER_00
Right.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s what our podcast, Messy, is about.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s Jamie and I really talking about this.
4
SPEAKER_01
And she has MS, which I didn t know that.
4
SPEAKER_00
She has MS, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
She s had it for 20 years and she hid it for 10.
4
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
4
SPEAKER_01
Did you become friends after the diagnosis or were you friends before?
4
SPEAKER_00
Peripherally, we have known each other from our friend Lance Bass for
4
SPEAKER_01
You also have a shared experience.
4
SPEAKER_01
We re both kids on an impossibly huge show.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
When I told Lance about it, he s like, you got to talk to Jamie.
4
SPEAKER_00
So that s kind of how this started.
4
SPEAKER_00
Jamie and I would get on the phone and we d talk for like two or three hours and it was healing.
4
SPEAKER_00
Lots of tears.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then of course me making fun and then we laugh and then
4
SPEAKER_00
tears more and then all of a sudden we re like, I think this might help people.
4
SPEAKER_00
Even if we re not talking about MS, like me having constipation and if you go into my bathroom, there are gloves in there because sometimes I have to pull shit out of my own asshole.
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, just being honest about stuff.
4
SPEAKER_01
The experience of this.
4
SPEAKER_00
We always talk about if she and I could go together as one person,
4
SPEAKER_00
we would be the most perfect disabled person because she s really like, we ve got to find light and we ve got to move forward.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, fuck this.
4
SPEAKER_00
But if we came together, we d be perfect.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
So that s kind of what Messi is.
4
SPEAKER_01
I listened and it s great.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I was listening to the Edie Falco episode.
4
SPEAKER_01
I just love her.
4
SPEAKER_01
I ve never met her, but I feel that same
4
SPEAKER_01
pull towards her as I did Katie and then prove that Katie was exactly who I had hoped she would be.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I get that hunch that Edie is also cut from that same cloth.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I think it s very weird that both of you had similar archetype mothers.
4
SPEAKER_00
Sorry, I m burping.
4
SPEAKER_01
No, take your time.
4
SPEAKER_00
I might throw up.
4
SPEAKER_00
I have a throw-up-y thing.
4
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, I do it from right here.
4
SPEAKER_01
We re in your bedroom.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m in my gray gardens, as I call it.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then Jamie s in Austin and our producer s in New York.
4
SPEAKER_00
So it s really just whenever someone wants to come on, we re like, okie dokie.
4
SPEAKER_00
And listening to Edie and Jamie talk about stuff, you know, I don t want to- It s heartbreaking.
4
SPEAKER_00
You should.
4
SPEAKER_00
Spoil it.
4
SPEAKER_00
You should.
4
SPEAKER_00
But their relationship and Jamie realizing that she wasn t getting what she needed from Edie, she held onto that.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then Edie explaining why.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was sitting there hands on chin like,
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, this is deep.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was proud of both of them for being so transparent about what the experience was like.
4
SPEAKER_01
Edie s like, you had parents there and you were very type A and you seem very on top of it.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then Jamie s like, I was so afraid I didn t belong there.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I was trying to act very prepared and like, I knew everything.
4
SPEAKER_00
Edie s saying, I was afraid of you.
4
SPEAKER_01
And Jamie going, wait, what?
4
SPEAKER_01
It is a great reminder of what you think is going on versus what another person thinks is going on and how
4
SPEAKER_01
disjointed those realities are.
4
SPEAKER_01
You telling me I shoved you against the wall, I m like, wow, that s news to me.
4
SPEAKER_01
I didn t even think I could do something like that.
4
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, just hearing both people for maybe the first time they re talking about how they really felt, like something that maybe they could have done on day nine.
4
SPEAKER_00
The first time they had ever spoken about this.
4
SPEAKER_00
It came as such a shock.
4
SPEAKER_00
When we do the Zoom, obviously we can see each other and that s just so we can watch each other.
4
SPEAKER_00
But Allison and I were like, whoa.
4
SPEAKER_00
Should we leave?
4
SPEAKER_00
What is happening?
4
SPEAKER_00
And even Jamie, like, tears coming.
4
SPEAKER_00
It was really intense.
4
SPEAKER_01
And the fact that there was a moment where Edie knew she was struggling and had a lot of insecurity and saw her be great on an episode, wrote her a letter telling her how great she was on the episode, and that Jamie wanted so bad to respond and thank her, but she just never did.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then Edie s like, I don t even know if she cared that I did that.
4
SPEAKER_01
Those missed opportunities.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, it s crazy.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s beautiful.
4
SPEAKER_00
And that s kind of what we re doing.
4
SPEAKER_00
Eventually, we ll talk to people we don t know.
4
SPEAKER_00
But first of all, Jamie and I are going to talk.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s kind of the show is just the two of us.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then we ll have our friends and our family.
4
SPEAKER_00
And we have Marty Short and we ve got people that we ve already done and we ve got a good little list, but no one s promoting.
4
SPEAKER_00
We don t have questions, which makes us like the worst interviewers ever because we re like, Sue, what d you have to eat today?
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, but eventually, hopefully something will happen.
4
SPEAKER_01
Can you tell me, because I m really undereducated in this, my girlfriend in high school s mom had MS.
4
SPEAKER_01
My understanding was the mylon sheath around your spinal cord is breaking down and then you get all this electrical interference.
4
SPEAKER_01
Do we know much about this disease?
4
SPEAKER_01
Do we know how it begins?
4
SPEAKER_01
Are you predisposed to it genetically?
4
SPEAKER_01
What happens physically?
4
SPEAKER_00
No, no, yes, and no, and no.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay, great.
4
SPEAKER_00
Let s move on.
4
SPEAKER_00
Next question.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m going to explain what I know.
4
SPEAKER_00
If there was an understanding of how one gets MS, then there would be better treatments.
4
SPEAKER_00
they do have what they call B-cell treatments, which most of us are on, which are infusions of Ocrevus or Kesempta, which is pretty hardcore stuff.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s almost like a, and I don t wanna say this, because people are gonna be like, it s not chemo.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s like a form of that, where it s killing all the B-cells in your body that are attacking your nervous system.
4
SPEAKER_01
So you have something in your body that s attacking your nervous system.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, I have 30 lesions on my brain, like herpes sores, basically.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so sores all over my brain.
4
SPEAKER_00
My biggest one is behind my right eye, so my right eye hurts.
4
SPEAKER_00
A lot.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, fuck.
4
SPEAKER_01
Does it affect your vision?
4
SPEAKER_00
Not right now, but it hurts.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then other people don t even have them on their brain.
4
SPEAKER_00
They have like a couple on the spine.
4
SPEAKER_00
What it does is it just affects the nervous system.
4
SPEAKER_00
So we all kind of have the issue with mobility.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s different.
4
SPEAKER_00
per person.
4
SPEAKER_00
How it shows up on Jamie is very different of how it shows up on me.
4
SPEAKER_00
My hand starts to go weird and then I ll get a seizure-y feeling sometimes in my brain, but not all the time.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m going to guess the brain thing to me would be scarier than the arm.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m not really happy about all the ones in my brain.
4
SPEAKER_00
If you think that I m just sitting here with 30 lesions on my brain, it s a fun one to hang with.
4
SPEAKER_00
Harvard put out a study that, you know, of course they re not claiming anything.
4
SPEAKER_00
They re saying like, we re seeing a correlation.
4
SPEAKER_00
You can look this up too.
4
SPEAKER_00
There s a correlation that anyone who has Epstein-Barr virus, wait, with hypothyroidism and the herb.
4
SPEAKER_00
They re seeing that that s kind of a correlation.
4
SPEAKER_00
I have all three.
4
SPEAKER_00
Not on the vagina.
4
SPEAKER_00
To clarify.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t have the herpes on the virginie.
4
SPEAKER_00
I get a little cold sore from a pineapple.
4
SPEAKER_00
And by pineapple, I mean dick.
4
SPEAKER_00
Just kidding.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, actually it s a... I mean, like, dipped in pineapple.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, a dick dipped in pineapple.
4
SPEAKER_00
No.
4
SPEAKER_00
And a couple of people I know who have MS have all those three things.
4
SPEAKER_00
So we re not going to claim that.
4
SPEAKER_00
We re not going to send it off in a letter.
4
SPEAKER_01
But it s kind of promising.
4
SPEAKER_00
They re thinking, hmm.
4
SPEAKER_00
We re seeing that the people that do have it have all those three things.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s the three things, and I have hypothyroidism.
4
SPEAKER_01
Which is you don t make enough.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like I m slow.
4
SPEAKER_01
Right.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so that might be the precursors to it.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then what has happened in recent time with the pharmacological treatments for it?
4
SPEAKER_01
Have there been good progress made?
4
SPEAKER_01
Like out of 10, what would you give the treatment?
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, this is a disease forever for us.
4
SPEAKER_00
And back before they had the B cell treatments, people just died from it.
4
SPEAKER_00
You just knew you got it and then you re just dead.
4
SPEAKER_00
So we re prolonging life with these treatments now.
4
SPEAKER_00
Doesn t mean that I m going to be around in 10 years.
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_01
scary thing about MS.
5
SPEAKER_01
There is no end game.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know, I ve had cancer too.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, I was going to get into this.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s fun talks.
5
SPEAKER_01
But you kind of, it s hard to explain that too because I was able to
5
SPEAKER_01
catch it early because of my being a hypochondriac and now I don t really have to worry about breast cancer.
5
SPEAKER_01
Not going to say the other cancers because that s up for grabs.
5
SPEAKER_01
Who knows?
5
SPEAKER_01
But this one is like, this is it.
5
SPEAKER_01
This is life.
5
SPEAKER_01
There s no surgical option.
5
SPEAKER_01
There s no like ringing the bell when you re done with chemo.
5
SPEAKER_01
You live with this for the rest of your life and either you re going to die from it or you re going to die in a car crash.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_01
But that s kind of the end game on this for now.
5
SPEAKER_01
We hope
5
SPEAKER_01
in our lifetime that someone would be like, we ve got it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God, that d be so great.
5
SPEAKER_01
But it s a disease of progression and you just progressively get worse.
5
SPEAKER_00
I would imagine mentally, like the definition of depression, right?
5
SPEAKER_00
Is that you foresee the future being worse than the presidents.
5
SPEAKER_01
The presidents?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_01
Also that.
5
SPEAKER_00
than the present is.
5
SPEAKER_00
And when you re given a diagnosis that literally says, well, that s the facts.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know how someone wrestles themselves out of that.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s the worst tattoo.
5
SPEAKER_00
Today s the best I m going to be physically.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s a mountain on your mind, I would imagine.
5
SPEAKER_00
It sucks.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m not going to sit here and like, some people go like, oh my God, cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, oh, then you had a pretty shitty life.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s the best thing that ever happened to you.
5
SPEAKER_01
You should go to Disneyland.
5
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
do something else.
5
SPEAKER_01
But this is the worst thing that s ever happened to me in my entire life.
5
SPEAKER_01
I hate it so much.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m so mad about it.
5
SPEAKER_01
You can t overcome it.
5
SPEAKER_01
People go like, well, why don t you exercise?
5
SPEAKER_01
Because I can t.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like it hurts.
5
SPEAKER_01
The second my feet hit my carpet in the morning and they re hurting as bad as they do every single day, then I go, fuck it.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m just going to lay back in bed.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then I m being the worst MSer.
5
SPEAKER_01
We should be stretching.
5
SPEAKER_01
We should be
5
SPEAKER_01
trying to walk for five minutes.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then you beat yourself up for that.
5
SPEAKER_01
I beat myself up about that.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then I ll have a day where I m not as bad and I m like, oh, I can do a couple of things.
5
SPEAKER_01
Then I m down for four days.
5
SPEAKER_01
So it s a bitch.
5
SPEAKER_01
She s a total, I m going to say the word, cunt.
5
SPEAKER_01
She s a cunt.
5
SPEAKER_01
And you go push and then it pushes right on back.
5
SPEAKER_01
She is a mean girl.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s the thing that I struggle with because everyone s like, come on, you re feeling good today.
5
SPEAKER_01
Let s go do something.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, well, then I ll do it.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then
5
SPEAKER_01
I m going to be in bed for five days.
5
SPEAKER_01
I ll pay the price for it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, any victory is not a victory.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s going to be Pyrrhic and you re going to be... I know.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m like such the downer guy.
5
SPEAKER_01
A lot of people are like, let s wear orange and let s do the... You know what I love?
5
SPEAKER_01
The race to erase MS.
5
SPEAKER_01
So you re going to run in front of me?
5
SPEAKER_01
Okay, good.
5
SPEAKER_00
This is like the orgy to help erectile dysfunction.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think someone s not doing something right.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, first of all, I think you do a much better service by saying, I feel like this and I hate this because I think a lot of the people that are dealing with what you re dealing are like,
5
SPEAKER_00
On top of everything else, I don t seem to have this sunny disposition about this ailment I ve been given.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I feel now isolated and alone.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m like, I m not doing it right on top of everything else.
5
SPEAKER_00
I actually think there s a much bigger service.
5
SPEAKER_00
Can I just say, I hate they beat cancer.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like it implies my dad didn t fight hard enough.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, no.
5
SPEAKER_00
There s a lot of triggers for me about this.
5
SPEAKER_00
You feel shitty about your performance on top of everything else.
5
SPEAKER_00
Is that what we need?
5
SPEAKER_01
I had a friend who is in the public eye and she got cancer and posted
5
SPEAKER_01
And look, I m going to put myself down in a minute, but she said, if there s anyone that can beat it, it s going to be me.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I said, take it down.
5
SPEAKER_01
Take it down right now.
5
SPEAKER_01
Because someone s mom just died and she was pretty strong.
5
SPEAKER_01
Someone s daughter just died.
5
SPEAKER_01
Someone s sister just died.
5
SPEAKER_01
Someone s dad just died from this.
5
SPEAKER_01
Take it down.
5
SPEAKER_01
I said, what you re going to do is you re going to be honest.
5
SPEAKER_01
every step of the way through your chemo, your radiation, all this stuff.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it ended up that people really were helped by what?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_00
Of course, the vulnerability.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
And sharing your fears.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I learned that lesson the hard way because in 2008, when I had breast cancer at 36 years old, I went out and I was the good girl talking about, oh, I love my new boobs.
5
SPEAKER_00
Right.
5
SPEAKER_01
That are all scarred and fucked up.
5
SPEAKER_01
What was I thinking?
5
SPEAKER_01
My first interview was with Robin Roberts when I had cancer.
5
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, I m sitting there lying my ass off.
5
SPEAKER_01
about how I felt.
5
SPEAKER_01
I got up and I literally fell into the wall.
5
SPEAKER_01
You weren t there because you didn t push me.
5
SPEAKER_00
But you were like, fuck, I haven t fallen this hard since Zach shoved me, shoved a woman.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I fell into the wall and sobbed because it was a lie.
5
SPEAKER_01
Everything I was saying was a freaking lie.
5
SPEAKER_01
It was me trying to convince myself of something.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I think that did no service to anyone.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yes, I started a foundation right away.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yes, I did all the things that I had to do.
5
SPEAKER_01
And we raised millions of dollars for women to get MRIs who were at high risk.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yes, we did a good thing.
5
SPEAKER_01
But at the back of it,
5
SPEAKER_01
I was taking off my bra and crying every night.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I wish that I had said that.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_01
Because then you have a fraudulence on top of the pain.
5
SPEAKER_01
Also, it s like, I want that woman who s feeling like that to not be like, oh, Christina Applegate.
5
SPEAKER_00
She loves her boobies.
5
SPEAKER_00
Her scar.
5
SPEAKER_01
I didn t like my boobies.
5
SPEAKER_01
I still don t like my boobies.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s horrible.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t have nipples.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s not something I talk about.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t have nipples.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s weird.
5
SPEAKER_01
I can wear a tank top and no pointies.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know what you call those?
5
SPEAKER_01
No pointies.
5
SPEAKER_00
No headlights.
5
SPEAKER_01
I will find- That s a silver lining.
5
SPEAKER_00
You can really go in frigid climates.
5
SPEAKER_00
That ll be something on Naked Afraid.
5
SPEAKER_01
And no one s ever gonna know that I m cold.
5
SPEAKER_00
No one will know.
5
SPEAKER_00
Your tits will never betray you.
5
SPEAKER_01
No.
5
SPEAKER_01
And they don t move either.
5
SPEAKER_01
You can t push them.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like, look at me trying to push my tits.
5
SPEAKER_01
They re just there forever.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was wondering, there s a lot of shit I love about AA.
5
SPEAKER_00
One of them is I learned early on that self-pity is the opposite side of the coin as self-aggrandizement.
5
SPEAKER_00
So like, I would always feel stupid bragging and thinking I m hotter shit than I am.
5
SPEAKER_01
But also, self-pity is- Ooh, I m doing this because I wanna speak upon that when you re done.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m setting you up for this because- Okay, you won t know what I m about to talk about, but I m gonna tell you.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay, keep your fingers crossed.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay, I m doing this.
5
SPEAKER_00
I police myself as much on self-pity as I do on self-aggrandizement because I have admitted to myself, it s equally, I m making myself more important than I am.
5
SPEAKER_00
The universe isn t conspiring against Dax Shepard.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m not that fucking important.
5
SPEAKER_00
It is.
5
SPEAKER_00
What are your thoughts about self-pity and then do you have to police yourself because if I were you this is me I m not saying you should feel this way.
5
SPEAKER_00
I would go.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, this makes sense I got way too much luck and now I m getting way too much bad luck.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I got cancer at 36.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s ridiculous Sorry, I didn t have luck.
5
SPEAKER_01
I was really talented.
5
SPEAKER_00
I would I would I would have said this life was so charmed I feel that way about my life
5
SPEAKER_00
It s abnormally charmed.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m talented, but so are a lot of people that didn t make it.
5
SPEAKER_00
I have a very fucking charmed life.
5
SPEAKER_00
Melissa McCarthy did, sorry.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, she had much more talent than me.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was there with her.
5
SPEAKER_00
We started together, but I would start saying to myself, Oh God, now it s flipping on me.
5
SPEAKER_00
I would make the universe pointed at myself.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s what I would have to fight.
5
SPEAKER_00
And of course, I m just curious if those kinds of thoughts cross your mind.
5
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so the book s gonna come out, so I m not gonna talk about too much.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s been a shitty life.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m not gonna lie.
5
SPEAKER_01
All the stuff that you saw was like a really, really good Alexander McQueen jacket.
5
SPEAKER_01
Performance.
5
SPEAKER_01
Jacket.
5
SPEAKER_01
That was pretty.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s fashion.
5
SPEAKER_01
I put on the jacket, and then I went out into the world, and I pretended to be something that I wasn t.
5
SPEAKER_01
And behind closed doors was pretty grim.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m starting to write my book in a couple weeks, so I don t want to say too much, but it s pretty gross.
5
SPEAKER_01
But also, it s making, we want to read it.
5
SPEAKER_01
You re going to think I m literally making this up.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it s not like, oh my God, I didn t have enough toilet paper that day.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s stuff.
5
SPEAKER_01
Abuse.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s things.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
So anyway, I did this because being grandiose about oneself.
5
SPEAKER_01
I remember being 13 years old and I was on a show called Heart of the City.
5
SPEAKER_00
A detective show.
5
SPEAKER_00
You were on it for two years.
5
SPEAKER_01
People were liking it.
5
SPEAKER_01
And so I said to one of my friends that I had grown up with, if you ever see me start to get lost,
5
SPEAKER_01
let me know. 
5
SPEAKER_01
And one day we were in the car and we were driving by 20th Century Fox, which is where we shot it.
5
SPEAKER_01
And on the radio was the doors, you know, she s a 20th Century Fox.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I said, Oh my God, that s so funny.
5
SPEAKER_01
And she whispered into my ear, she goes, you re doing it.
5
SPEAKER_01
And that was actually the last time I ever spoke about myself.
5
SPEAKER_01
Really?
5
SPEAKER_01
No, I ll get calls from my mom and she s like, you got nominated for an Emmy.
5
SPEAKER_01
I have been so embarrassed by it my whole life that I don t tell anyone, not my family, nothing.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t talk about it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you think you ve robbed yourself of some deserved self-congratulations?
5
SPEAKER_01
No, because now I know I m the shit.
5
SPEAKER_01
Now I m like, yeah, pretty good.
5
SPEAKER_00
Pretty good at stuff.
5
SPEAKER_00
Fuck yes.
5
SPEAKER_00
One after another, after another, after another, after another.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I m proud.
5
SPEAKER_00
You can t get lucky 29 times in a row.
5
SPEAKER_01
I did that until just recently.
5
SPEAKER_01
I was embarrassed by it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Was it important to you to not shine so bright because you were living out a dream your mother started?
5
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
5
SPEAKER_01
I always say that the secret to success is to be mediocre success.
5
SPEAKER_01
Then people don t need the downfall.
5
SPEAKER_01
I would have loved the $20 million, $50 million paycheck for that movie.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s not that I chose not to, everyone chose that for me, but I feel like I ve been here for 50 years because I kind of have stayed in the lane.
5
SPEAKER_00
You didn t fly too close to the sun.
5
SPEAKER_01
Why?
5
SPEAKER_01
You d get burned.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s right, Icarus.
5
SPEAKER_00
We were just talking about this, Monica.
5
SPEAKER_00
We were.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, we were just talking about it.
5
SPEAKER_01
But the brass ring s lovely too, but you only get it once.
5
SPEAKER_01
There s only one way to go there.
5
SPEAKER_00
There s only one story left to tell about that person.
5
SPEAKER_00
We were just interviewing Bradley Cooper and this came up.
5
SPEAKER_00
He said, do you think people have to see someone fall?
5
SPEAKER_00
And I said, yeah, it s the only story left.
5
SPEAKER_00
I can t even blame people.
5
SPEAKER_00
We think in stories.
5
SPEAKER_00
So it s like, what s the third act?
6
SPEAKER_02
act for this person.
6
SPEAKER_02
They can t get higher, so they gotta go lower.
6
SPEAKER_00
But they grasp for it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Then you re like, you re boring me with your crap acting.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s why I don t watch.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m like, stop it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Inspire me.
6
SPEAKER_00
Do something different.
6
SPEAKER_02
Are there any shows you love though?
6
SPEAKER_02
Do you like White Lotus?
6
SPEAKER_00
I haven t seen it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh my lord.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s so good.
6
SPEAKER_02
You re a bad SAG member.
6
SPEAKER_02
I know.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m a Ted Lasso guy.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m like a only murders.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I love only murders.
6
SPEAKER_02
You like lighthearted.
6
SPEAKER_02
You want to feel happy.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that s fair.
6
SPEAKER_02
And I m cracking jokes all day long.
6
SPEAKER_02
So when I sit down, I want to see like murder and tragedy and any of the opposite, but we didn t get to self pity.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh God.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
I totally hate myself.
6
SPEAKER_00
Especially now, I gained 45 pounds when I got sick from medication.
6
SPEAKER_00
I ve lost 30 pounds in the last few months.
6
SPEAKER_00
Not from Ozempic.
6
SPEAKER_00
I have a stomach issue, so my eating, it s very tiny.
6
SPEAKER_02
Is MS at all, is there a diet that s better for?
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, Mediterranean.
6
SPEAKER_02
No gluten, no.
6
SPEAKER_00
Isn t that like forever?
6
SPEAKER_00
I think it is.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s kind of for everyone.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s like a catch-all.
6
SPEAKER_00
People write books about it, and you re like, but we re pretty sure that s probably the best way to eat.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
I eat a piece of cinnamon toast a day.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like, I m not doing all the things I m supposed to be doing, but you know, it s hard for me because I was always fit,
6
SPEAKER_00
lady but I also had eating disorders and weird stuff for years and being like this now which
6
SPEAKER_00
is hard and I don t do the plastic surgeries and I don t do the things.
6
SPEAKER_02
I brought my equipment.
6
SPEAKER_02
Do you want me to, you sure you don t want me to?
6
SPEAKER_00
I did do a thread lift in 2018.
6
SPEAKER_00
How is that?
6
SPEAKER_00
That was rad.
6
SPEAKER_00
But it goes away.
6
SPEAKER_02
Oh, it does.
6
SPEAKER_02
Does the thread dissolve?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh my Lord.
6
SPEAKER_00
But I went to a doctor two years ago and I was like, I want to go again.
6
SPEAKER_00
And he goes, your face is too fat.
6
SPEAKER_00
He literally was like, mic drop, you fat, you can t get one.
6
SPEAKER_02
Oh jeez.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, wow.
6
SPEAKER_00
So, that made me feel real good about myself.
6
SPEAKER_00
He turned down all that money.
6
SPEAKER_02
First of all, I doubt your face was fat.
6
SPEAKER_02
Secondly, rare ethics.
6
SPEAKER_02
You want to talk to Michael Jackson s guy and go, how could you have possibly gone in on that nose again?
6
SPEAKER_02
You can t do that.
6
SPEAKER_02
Like, how could you have possibly gone in on the nose again?
6
SPEAKER_00
I m more concerned about the propofol by the nightstand.
6
SPEAKER_02
There s a few doctors that were- Yeah, the doctor that was like, yeah, I ll knock you out every single night of your life.
6
SPEAKER_00
But it s propofol.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
6
SPEAKER_02
I love propofol.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s fun for your colonoscopy.
6
SPEAKER_02
Exactly, for a major surgery.
6
SPEAKER_02
I know, can you imagine being put down every night?
6
SPEAKER_01
Anesthesia.
6
SPEAKER_02
I ve had many surgeries, and you ve got to prep for surgery.
6
SPEAKER_02
They don t want you on propofol with any food in your stomach in case you aspirate.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, pre-op.
6
SPEAKER_02
Pre-op his whole life?
6
SPEAKER_02
Is that why he s so thin?
6
SPEAKER_02
He s constantly prepping for surgery.
6
SPEAKER_02
Do you think he had some of those surgeries on his nose while he was asleep?
6
SPEAKER_00
I think I was talking about Michael Jackson is a whole other episode.
6
SPEAKER_00
I have lots of thoughts on that one.
6
SPEAKER_02
I ll table it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh wait, I m going to tell you this Michael Jackson funny.
6
SPEAKER_00
One of my best friends, her name s Farrell, and we ve known each other since we were 13 years old.
6
SPEAKER_00
We met on some steps down on lookout and she comes up, she had blue hair.
6
SPEAKER_00
She goes, you got a fucking cigarette?
6
SPEAKER_00
That s how we met.
6
SPEAKER_00
And we ve been friends ever since.
6
SPEAKER_00
When we were younger, not even then, she thought that the song said,
6
SPEAKER_00
Get down with the porn stars.
6
SPEAKER_00
Don t stop till you get enough.
6
SPEAKER_00
Get down with the porn stars.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I can see where she thought that.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s not.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s not.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s not get down with the porn stars.
6
SPEAKER_00
But it could be.
6
SPEAKER_02
Don t stop till you get enough.
6
SPEAKER_02
Come on.
6
SPEAKER_00
No, so you don t know it?
6
SPEAKER_02
No, I love that song too.
6
SPEAKER_02
I play it a couple times a week.
6
SPEAKER_02
Be honest, did you ever get invited?
6
SPEAKER_00
Where?
6
SPEAKER_02
To the ranch.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
His dad had a birthday party.
6
SPEAKER_02
Pre... Yes, allegations and now we know for certain.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, allegations.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
Well, I say that, no, he definitely was a pedophile who ruined the lives of a bunch of little kids.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m not denying that.
6
SPEAKER_02
There weren t even allegations yet at this point.
6
SPEAKER_00
No.
6
SPEAKER_02
Every friend of mine who s been in this business for a very long time, like Seth Green, he went, we ve talked about it on the show.
6
SPEAKER_02
Anyone that was young that was around and popular at that time, they got invited to the ranch.
6
SPEAKER_00
I was in my 20s.
6
SPEAKER_00
Joe actually invited me.
6
SPEAKER_02
Joe Jackson?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
That s very weird for him.
6
SPEAKER_02
Do you think about it?
6
SPEAKER_00
No.
6
SPEAKER_02
You met Bubbles?
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
So my friends who have been there to the, what was it called?
6
SPEAKER_02
The Mystery Ranch?
6
SPEAKER_00
Neverland.
6
SPEAKER_00
Neverland Ranch.
6
SPEAKER_00
The Mystery.
6
SPEAKER_00
Scooby-Doo.
6
SPEAKER_00
The Magical Mystery Tour of Rape.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oops.
6
SPEAKER_02
It was insane.
6
SPEAKER_02
It was Disneyland.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, it was awesome.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
He built it for kids.
6
SPEAKER_02
In himself, he was a kid.
6
SPEAKER_00
Well, his own mental, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, but you met Bubbles.
6
SPEAKER_00
He went to Bubbles  house.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I went on the swing roundy-bouty thing, and it was playing all his music.
6
SPEAKER_02
Good music.
6
SPEAKER_02
I heard he rebuilt the Pirates of the Caribbean at Neverland.
6
SPEAKER_00
Not when I was there.
6
SPEAKER_00
This was so long ago.
6
SPEAKER_00
I mean, this is pre-any marriages.
6
SPEAKER_00
Right.
6
SPEAKER_00
Of all of them.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
Stay tuned for more Farmchair Expert.
6
SPEAKER_02
Okay, so you re doing the podcast, Messy.
6
SPEAKER_00
Messy, Messy.
6
SPEAKER_02
And it s very well done, and you re very good at it, and I m glad you re doing that.
6
SPEAKER_02
And then I read that you ll voice act.
6
SPEAKER_02
Is that true?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, of course.
6
SPEAKER_00
As long as I can speak, I d love to do that.
6
SPEAKER_00
It d be fun.
6
SPEAKER_00
Mama needs to do something.
6
SPEAKER_00
Do shit.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, stuff to do.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
Okay, so we were honest about the darkness of this.
6
SPEAKER_02
On the mornings you do get yourself to have a good day, and you re positive, what are the tools that you use that are helpful?
6
SPEAKER_00
I m so not inspiring.
6
SPEAKER_02
Do you meditate?
6
SPEAKER_00
I get mad at it.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
See, this is the thing.
6
SPEAKER_00
I was a super spiritual person.
6
SPEAKER_00
I ve been going to a church called Agape since I was 24 years old.
6
SPEAKER_00
I ve been in spiritual since I was little.
6
SPEAKER_00
My mom got me meditating at eight years old.
6
SPEAKER_00
My belief in what the universe is or God as people call it or not God or whatever, it s very strong, very convicted in what I believe.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m not going to alter that.
6
SPEAKER_00
I believe that aliens came down.
6
SPEAKER_00
Just kidding.
6
SPEAKER_00
And build the pyramids.
6
SPEAKER_00
They just build the pyramids and that s what happens.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s weird.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s like I shove away from it.
6
SPEAKER_00
The more angry I get, which is when you should be kind of tapping into that stuff, I get pissed.
6
SPEAKER_00
But we have a coin out of my lanai, which you ll see.
6
SPEAKER_00
There s a coin my friend Rob Zabrecki gave to me, who s an amazing magician and he works at the Magic Castle, but he s also kind of the most amazing person I ve ever known.
6
SPEAKER_00
And he gave me a coin from the Magic Castle and it kind of became our prayer coin.
6
SPEAKER_00
So anyone that comes here, we sit and if something s going on in one of our friend s lives, or we need a minute, we hold the coin.
6
SPEAKER_00
We got to pray on the coin.
6
SPEAKER_00
And the coin has actually gotten heavier in weight.
6
SPEAKER_00
because of the energy that s in it.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s holding the... Yeah, I mean, that s science.
6
SPEAKER_00
We know what science is, right?
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
Universe.
6
SPEAKER_02
E equals mc squared.
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t even know what that means.
6
SPEAKER_00
But we hold the coin.
6
SPEAKER_00
So when I m feeling that stuff, I hold the coin and just get quiet about it.
6
SPEAKER_02
Have you done mushrooms?
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, when I was 16.
6
SPEAKER_00
I have an amazing story about this.
6
SPEAKER_00
Tell me.
6
SPEAKER_00
My friend Mandy and I, we took some mushrooms, I think I was 16, at her house.
6
SPEAKER_00
And we started watching Comic Relief.
6
SPEAKER_00
So this is how long ago it was.
6
SPEAKER_00
People don t even know what that is.
6
SPEAKER_02
I do.
6
SPEAKER_02
It was on Comedy Central, it raised money for things.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s Robin Williams, Whoopi Goldberg, and Billy Crystal hosting it.
6
SPEAKER_00
We were laughing so hard that we kept calling on the dial phone.
6
SPEAKER_02
Telephone.
6
SPEAKER_00
To use her dad s credit card to donate money.
6
SPEAKER_00
And we did this all night long.
6
SPEAKER_00
And we spent like hundreds of dollars.
6
SPEAKER_00
And we got in really big trouble.
6
SPEAKER_00
And that was the first and last time I ve ever done mushrooms.
6
SPEAKER_02
Has anyone advised you to do it?
6
SPEAKER_00
Drugs are not for me.
6
SPEAKER_02
No, thank you.
6
SPEAKER_00
You just tried them and no, or you just never?
6
SPEAKER_00
I tried them and no, and I don t like it.
6
SPEAKER_00
No, thank you.
6
SPEAKER_02
I forced Monica to do them.
6
SPEAKER_00
Mushrooms?
6
SPEAKER_00
Not other, not like heroin.
6
SPEAKER_00
I couldn t do heroin because I would just keep doing it.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yes, as most people.
6
SPEAKER_00
Going in the hospital, you re like, yes, thank you, Dilaudid.
6
SPEAKER_00
You know your disposition.
6
SPEAKER_00
I can t.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
Nope, thank you.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yep, yep, yep, yep.
6
SPEAKER_00
Bye.
6
SPEAKER_00
Thumbs down.
6
SPEAKER_02
Okay, well then I m not gonna push.
6
SPEAKER_02
But shrooms in particular are supposed to be uniquely good for situations that you re in.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I have that brain that like, take me out of right this moment, I m gonna go cuckoo town.
6
SPEAKER_00
My mom gave me a pot.
6
SPEAKER_02
Edibles.
6
SPEAKER_02
A stick.
6
SPEAKER_02
A vape.
6
SPEAKER_00
A joint.
6
SPEAKER_02
No, a joint.
6
SPEAKER_02
Old fashioned.
6
SPEAKER_02
Laurel Canyon shit.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
not doing so well, and she s like, this might get your pain away.
6
SPEAKER_00
This was actually before I knew I had MS, is when they thought I had something called peripheral neuropathy.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m in such pain all the time.
6
SPEAKER_00
It really, really hurts.
6
SPEAKER_00
But anyway, she s like, just try it.
6
SPEAKER_00
So I sat out on the lanai and I smoked it like you would at 15.
6
SPEAKER_02
Back when it was not potent.
6
SPEAKER_02
Not a good choice.
6
SPEAKER_02
Not a good move for you.
6
SPEAKER_00
Not a good move.
6
SPEAKER_00
I was alone in my room.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I called her, I said, what the hell did you give me?
6
SPEAKER_00
And she goes, how much did you have?
6
SPEAKER_00
And I said, like half of it.
6
SPEAKER_00
She goes, oh my God.
6
SPEAKER_00
This is why I haven t smoked pot since I was 15.
6
SPEAKER_00
I did everything.
6
SPEAKER_00
Sadie, you re not listening to this.
6
SPEAKER_00
At that time, I got it over with.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Except for heroin.
6
SPEAKER_00
Smartly.
6
SPEAKER_00
And crack.
6
SPEAKER_02
You missed out.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s pretty good.
6
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, not really interested, but that was a bad call.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oops.
6
SPEAKER_02
Well, thanks for letting us come over and take your time, and I m sure you re in pain, and that cannot be easy, and I m mindful of it, and I appreciate it.
6
SPEAKER_02
I don t know if you ever heard our show, but this is what I m all about, is sharing the fucking battle, not the victory speech on a stage somewhere.
6
SPEAKER_02
So I m very grateful to you.
6
SPEAKER_00
Well, this has been the most fun I ve had in like three years.
6
SPEAKER_02
Oh, seriously.
6
SPEAKER_02
We ll come back once a week.
6
SPEAKER_00
I sit in here by myself pretty much all day long.
6
SPEAKER_02
And you re not doing drugs.
6
SPEAKER_00
No.
6
SPEAKER_02
Oh God, you really need them.
6
SPEAKER_00
You really should start White Lotus.
6
SPEAKER_00
Before you guys got here, he was in here and I said, now I have to pause my show, which was Real Housewives of Miami reunion part two.
7
SPEAKER_03
You must watch Couples Therapy.
7
SPEAKER_03
That s reality.
7
SPEAKER_03
The most incredible therapist, Orna.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s so good.
7
SPEAKER_01
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
7
SPEAKER_03
It s so good.
7
SPEAKER_03
You re gonna blast through it.
7
SPEAKER_01
Okay, I m actually gonna text myself, please.
7
SPEAKER_01
Please do.
7
SPEAKER_01
Because I have to text because I have all the lesions on the brains.
7
SPEAKER_01
You re still so quick.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I know, I m pretty smart.
7
SPEAKER_03
Have you at all?
7
SPEAKER_03
I m pretty smart and I m pretty funny.
7
SPEAKER_03
Do you see the Carly similarity?
7
SPEAKER_00
I was gonna tell you as soon as we left.
7
SPEAKER_00
You remind me so much of Dax s sister.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, you look so much like my little sister.
7
SPEAKER_03
It makes me kind of like love you more than I have a right to love you.
7
SPEAKER_03
But I m looking at your little face and it s so Carly s and I love her so much.
7
SPEAKER_03
No, that s not the face.
7
SPEAKER_03
It s just your normal face is very Carly.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, even the mannerisms and stuff.
7
SPEAKER_03
And so it has me feeling like very, very, of course, protective of you.
7
SPEAKER_03
I love that.
7
SPEAKER_01
He ll shove me out of the way for you.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I ll shove Rob and Monica before we leave.
7
SPEAKER_01
I feel very alone, so I like to be protected.
7
SPEAKER_03
Okay, good.
7
SPEAKER_03
I m the dude.
7
SPEAKER_01
Isn t that so great?
7
SPEAKER_01
What a dichotomy.
7
SPEAKER_03
Oh, yes.
7
SPEAKER_01
You re protecting me, but you also abuse me.
7
SPEAKER_03
Well, isn t this the story of- No, but as I like to call it a dichotomy.
7
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, no, so both things.
7
SPEAKER_01
Both things.
7
SPEAKER_01
You know that I hold no grudge about that.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s just funny to me.
7
SPEAKER_01
I totally believe you because I ve been around you- You had no idea that I was there.
7
SPEAKER_01
I had no idea.
7
SPEAKER_03
And I ve been around you a bunch of times since then and I didn t feel any animosity, but I do like the book ending.
7
SPEAKER_03
Not that there won t be more experiences, but this is a reverse of a shove into a wall.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, there you go.
7
SPEAKER_03
All right, I adore you.
7
SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
7
SPEAKER_01
Thanks so much for doing this.
7
SPEAKER_01
I love you both.
7
SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
7
SPEAKER_03
Everyone should listen to Messy.
7
SPEAKER_03
It comes out?
7
SPEAKER_01
The 19th of March on all streaming things.
7
SPEAKER_03
Okay, great.
7
SPEAKER_03
So check out Messy and I love you and I m so glad I got to come sit in your bedroom.
7
SPEAKER_03
This is very unique.
7
SPEAKER_01
And we got to listen to your daughter play music.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yes.
7
SPEAKER_01
It was pretty incredible.
7
SPEAKER_01
And smell all the dog pee in my room.
7
SPEAKER_01
That s right.
7
SPEAKER_03
And actually, for the amount of pets I m seeing, it doesn t smell in here at all.
7
SPEAKER_01
Well, I burn dog chompa in here.
7
SPEAKER_01
all day long because I love Nag Champa.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s a very childhood thing so I offset the nasty.
7
SPEAKER_01
And normally my bed s really made.
7
SPEAKER_03
It s more made than mine is.
7
SPEAKER_01
You ll love this before we go.
7
SPEAKER_01
These are my heating pads.
7
SPEAKER_01
I snuggle them and they re called Jake Ryan.
7
SPEAKER_03
Jake Ryan.
7
SPEAKER_01
16 candles.
7
SPEAKER_03
Oh, yes.
7
SPEAKER_03
Of course, the dark-haired gentleman that Molly was in love with.
7
SPEAKER_03
Is he still the number one?
7
SPEAKER_03
In my heart.
7
SPEAKER_01
Because the early ones are the- In my heart, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_03
They stay the number one, don t they?
7
SPEAKER_01
He s in my heart forever.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_03
He drove that red 944 Porsche.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
I m 52 years old and I ve named my heating pad Jake Ryan.
7
SPEAKER_01
I think, suffice it to say, that is the jam.
7
SPEAKER_03
You obviously met him over the years, did you?
7
SPEAKER_01
No.
7
SPEAKER_01
Michael Shkalakalakaling?
7
SPEAKER_01
I don t even know how to say his name.
7
SPEAKER_03
I hope he s listening.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that d be sweet.
7
SPEAKER_03
All right.
7
SPEAKER_01
All right.
7
SPEAKER_01
Bye.
7
SPEAKER_03
Good luck with everything.
7
SPEAKER_03
Thank you.
7
SPEAKER_03
Great to see you.
7
SPEAKER_02
Next up is the fact check.
7
SPEAKER_02
I don t even care about facts.
7
SPEAKER_02
I just want to get in your pants.
7
SPEAKER_00
Well, I want to tell people.
7
SPEAKER_02
Tell people.
7
SPEAKER_00
Some updates.
7
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
7
SPEAKER_00
Okay, you have joined my connections group chat, which has me, Callie, Max, and Robby.
7
SPEAKER_00
Robby, my friend from home.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s time for me to tell you Robby has a PhD.
7
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
7
SPEAKER_03
I m not intimidated by a PhD.
7
SPEAKER_00
Okay, great.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, you could have got a PhD.
7
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
7
SPEAKER_00
I think so.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_03
What s his in?
7
SPEAKER_00
Psychometrics.
7
SPEAKER_03
Psychometrics.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s a mixture of psychology and statistics.
7
SPEAKER_03
Oh, that s kind of cool.
7
SPEAKER_00
It is very cool.
7
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
7
SPEAKER_03
So, but the best part was is, let s start at the beginning.
7
SPEAKER_03
I love Connections now.
7
SPEAKER_03
I ve only been playing it for three days and now it s like,
7
SPEAKER_03
It used to be, get through the meditation, the reward was coffee, nicotine, and then get through the journaling, and I could have my phone.
7
SPEAKER_03
But I don t really care about having my phone.
7
SPEAKER_03
It s more just like, oh, there s stuff to do on it, I ve gotta tend to while I duty park.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s like you have to look at your phone.
7
SPEAKER_03
It s not really a reward, but now connections is in my life.
7
SPEAKER_03
And now there s like a huge reward in the morning to get.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m so happy you think that.
7
SPEAKER_03
I love it.
7
SPEAKER_03
Okay, now the other thing is, you put me on the thread.
7
SPEAKER_00
You asked to be on the thread.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, well, I think I sent you and Callie.
7
SPEAKER_00
You did, but, and I actually got nervous about this because when we were talking about it, you re like, I wanna be on your thread, I wanna be on your thread.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I said, okay, it s Callie, Max, and my friend Robbie.
7
SPEAKER_03
You certainly did, and I didn t remember that.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I had a feeling.
7
SPEAKER_03
So, yeah, because I think I texted you and Callie.
7
SPEAKER_03
And then you put me on the thread, but the two of the numbers are, they re just numbers.
7
SPEAKER_03
It s 10 numbers.
7
SPEAKER_03
Cause I don t have them in my phone book.
7
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
7
SPEAKER_00
Even though I said in the text, you know, thigh guy, Max, and now you need a nickname for Robbie.
7
SPEAKER_00
I feel like maybe you aren t reading.
7
SPEAKER_00
I might not.
7
SPEAKER_03
I might ve missed it.
7
SPEAKER_03
Cause there s so many people and there s a lot of screen grabs of the puzzle itself.
7
SPEAKER_03
And I might ve got distracted by the puzzles.
7
SPEAKER_03
I didn t see that.
7
SPEAKER_03
And now it s great.
7
SPEAKER_03
Um, but okay.
7
SPEAKER_03
Back to Robbie.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_03
He got it with no mistakes.
7
SPEAKER_00
So did Max.
7
SPEAKER_03
Oh, he did?
7
SPEAKER_00
Today.
7
SPEAKER_00
Today he did?
7
SPEAKER_00
I haven t played today.
7
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
7
SPEAKER_00
So, but, you know, sorry, Callie, I hate to do this to you.
7
SPEAKER_00
She didn t get it today.
7
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if you could see that.
7
SPEAKER_00
Can you tell that from the pictures?
7
SPEAKER_03
No, I m new to this whole thing.
7
SPEAKER_03
I didn t know Robbie and Max were, I just know you and Callie.
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
7
SPEAKER_00
I feel, I don t know why, I feel like stressed out.
7
SPEAKER_03
Oh, you do?
7
SPEAKER_00
A little bit.
7
SPEAKER_03
Why?
7
SPEAKER_03
Do you think I m not going to like your friends or they re not going to like me?
7
SPEAKER_00
No, it s, it s not about... They re not going to like you because you brought me.
7
SPEAKER_00
No, they ll like, they love me.
7
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
7
SPEAKER_00
And it s not about you liking them or them.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s not about liking.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s just, I have a weird thing with you.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s just the truth.
7
SPEAKER_00
I feel anxious if you re uncomfortable.
7
SPEAKER_03
I know.
7
SPEAKER_03
I just try to rack my brain of when my discomfort has put you out.
7
SPEAKER_03
Because A, I m almost never uncomfortable.
7
SPEAKER_03
Like wouldn t you say I m just generally kind of happy-go-lucky?
7
SPEAKER_00
No, you are uncomfortable.
7
SPEAKER_03
Oh, okay.
7
SPEAKER_00
And you also get upset with things.
7
SPEAKER_00
And not always.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s not just your main disposition.
7
SPEAKER_03
Would you be comfortable giving me an example?
7
SPEAKER_03
Because I m having a hard time finding purchase in this.
7
SPEAKER_03
Or like, I m someone you gotta tiptoe around and I might blow up or I m angry or I m gonna be really unhappy.
7
SPEAKER_03
And I m having a hard time remembering those events.
7
SPEAKER_00
Okay, the airplane coming back from South By.
7
SPEAKER_03
Oh, where I was angry at the guy who was mistreating the flight attendant.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
7
SPEAKER_03
You sure?
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I was mad at that guy, but did you feel like you, that just stresses you out, that s what you re saying.
7
SPEAKER_00
It stresses me out that you are not at equilibrium.
7
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
7
SPEAKER_00
or you re like upset, you were upset with him and I didn t know where that was gonna lead and that made me anxious.
7
SPEAKER_03
Oh, right, like there could be some violence or something.
7
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I didn t think you were gonna like punch him or anything, but I thought there was a fair chance.
7
SPEAKER_03
I just wanna isolate it, I m not trying to put you on the spot, I m trying to isolate, because if it is your fear that I m gonna get into it with other people, I totally can understand that.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that s sort of what, I mean- But I m mushing it together with your fear that I was gonna not have a good time in India.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s part of it.
7
SPEAKER_00
Or that s not part of it, that s an example.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, but that s the one I really have a hard time, like I think, I could be delusional, I have a great time everywhere.
7
SPEAKER_03
Like I m at funerals and I have a good time, I m at weddings, I have a good time.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_03
I m at that play for 25 hours.
7
SPEAKER_03
I m having a good time.
7
SPEAKER_00
Sure.
7
SPEAKER_00
But you, if you feel obligated to do something, I don t think you like it.
7
SPEAKER_00
I got nervous that once you were on the group chat, you were going to feel obligated to participate.
7
SPEAKER_00
And also knowing you were going to get multiple texts a day from people and then feel like, well, I got to like engage.
7
SPEAKER_03
That it would become homework.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and it s not on you that I am stressed out about it.
7
SPEAKER_00
That s on me.
7
SPEAKER_00
I should not care, of course.
7
SPEAKER_00
Like you decided to participate in this.
7
SPEAKER_00
I feel that I was very clear about what it was, but then when you say like, yeah, who are these people?
7
SPEAKER_00
I m kind of like, I tried to make it so clear that now I m scared.
7
SPEAKER_00
Okay, well.
7
SPEAKER_03
Let s just clear all this up.
7
SPEAKER_03
So like, I just didn t know, not like who, it wasn t, who are these people?
7
SPEAKER_03
I was like, who are the other people on the text?
7
SPEAKER_03
Because I want to be able to address them and be a good participant.
7
SPEAKER_03
I m the new person in the group, so I want to put my best foot forward.
7
SPEAKER_03
So I wanted to know who it was.
7
SPEAKER_03
And I m very excited to be a part of this chain.
7
SPEAKER_03
I m not a part of any text chains.
7
SPEAKER_03
I m much older and my friends don t do text chains.
7
SPEAKER_03
And so it s exciting.
7
SPEAKER_00
As long as I mean, I I know you don t like to hear this I don t really know why you don t like to hear it because it is a truth I have codependency with you and it is real and Part of it.
7
SPEAKER_00
I do think has nothing to do with you.
7
SPEAKER_00
It has to do with the way our relationship started and
7
SPEAKER_03
Uh-huh.
7
SPEAKER_03
Babysitter, employer.
7
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
7
SPEAKER_00
The delineation of you being my employer at first, you know, like Dax doesn t like this.
7
SPEAKER_00
Dax doesn t like this.
7
SPEAKER_00
Dax doesn t like this.
7
SPEAKER_03
Was there a lot of stuff?
7
SPEAKER_03
Well, also it s coming from my sister who s like trying to imagine things I don t like.
7
SPEAKER_03
She s crazy protective of me.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
7
SPEAKER_00
And she doesn t want an issue.
7
SPEAKER_00
And like, I get it.
7
SPEAKER_00
You know, Dax really doesn t like when the sponge, you know, there s, I remember so specifically the sponge and like, it really.
8
SPEAKER_00
It affected me.
8
SPEAKER_01
I was so- Rob s having a good giggle over there about that.
8
SPEAKER_00
I was so hyper aware of the sponge and like so many things, you know?
8
SPEAKER_00
But I m a good student.
8
SPEAKER_01
I know you are.
8
SPEAKER_01
No one, I m not asking for sympathy.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m not the victim.
8
SPEAKER_00
You re not in trouble.
8
SPEAKER_00
You didn t do anything wrong.
8
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no, no.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m saying that before I say to you my frustration in life.
8
SPEAKER_01
This is a great example.
8
SPEAKER_01
As I said, I went to Barton Springs with Ange while we were in South By.
8
SPEAKER_01
And we were walking down to Acid Springs, the water, and she was saying that she loved the Molly McNearney episode.
8
SPEAKER_01
And she said, I have never related so much to somebody than when she was explaining how intimidated she was by you.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I m like,
8
SPEAKER_01
Ange, what are you talking about?
8
SPEAKER_01
When were you intimidated by me?
8
SPEAKER_01
Because from my perspective, I have always been so nice to Ange.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I ve invited her to, she s always been key hair on any movie I ve made.
8
SPEAKER_01
She makes me artwork, I hang it in the house.
8
SPEAKER_01
I just adore Ange and have been so soft and sweet to Ange.
8
SPEAKER_01
forever, that it s hard for me to reconcile that someone s intimidated by me when I m being so gentle and kind.
8
SPEAKER_00
You are being gentle and kind.
8
SPEAKER_01
So then when I hear that, you often have so much fear.
8
SPEAKER_01
Now, the thing about me getting into it with strangers makes total sense, and I can own that.
8
SPEAKER_01
It must be stressful to be, look, I know what it was like to be around my dad.
8
SPEAKER_01
I like to think he was 5X of me, but yeah, everywhere we went, I was like, is he gonna fight at Costco?
8
SPEAKER_01
Is he gonna fight on the side of the road?
8
SPEAKER_01
Is he gonna fight at the gas station?
8
SPEAKER_01
So that I totally get, and I can see it clearly.
8
SPEAKER_01
Like, of course, that must be so stressful.
8
SPEAKER_01
My kids will let me know.
8
SPEAKER_01
Like, we can feel you re trying to drive faster than that person.
8
SPEAKER_01
Like, I am.
8
SPEAKER_01
And that s exhausting.
8
SPEAKER_01
But me being unhappy or inconvenienced, that one, I just have a hard time connecting.
8
SPEAKER_01
As I have a hard time connecting with Ang, thinking I m intimidating.
8
SPEAKER_00
Right.
8
SPEAKER_00
Well, again, I think it, you being the employer, I have this with Kristen.
8
SPEAKER_00
I still have it with her.
8
SPEAKER_00
I am constantly, and again, this is not her, it s me.
8
SPEAKER_00
Like if we re on a girls chat or something,
8
SPEAKER_00
Or if I m like, I m planning dinner or something with the girls, or we ve like said, like, let s hang out this week.
8
SPEAKER_00
In my head, I do this.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m like, okay, well, Kristen can t come because she s working and I know she works this day and she works this day.
8
SPEAKER_00
So I m definitely not going to include her on this chat because she would hate being included on a chat for no reason.
8
SPEAKER_00
Like, I know this about her from working with her.
8
SPEAKER_00
and I m still always gonna be in that mode.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I don t do that to any of the other girls, even if I know that they can t, because I don t have that experience of constantly trying to make her life easier.
8
SPEAKER_01
You kind of formatted your brain that way for years.
8
SPEAKER_00
I did, I did.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
And you re in there in some way as well.
8
SPEAKER_01
Some of my suspicion is that some of it did get graft onto me because where Kristen and I are different, neither of these are good or bad.
8
SPEAKER_01
She has an appetite for a much busier life than I do.
8
SPEAKER_01
Like she has many, many, many more projects going at once.
8
SPEAKER_01
I have a very hard time functioning with that level.
8
SPEAKER_01
I kind of need to focus on just a few things.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s just how my brain works.
8
SPEAKER_01
She can somehow juggle 300 balls.
8
SPEAKER_01
So when you re working with her, yes,
8
SPEAKER_01
for that kind of approach to life to work, everything has to be insanely efficient.
8
SPEAKER_01
And extraneous stuff needs to be weeded out.
8
SPEAKER_01
But I don t really operate that way.
8
SPEAKER_01
I kind of keep my life kind of small, on the smaller side.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I ve never had an assistant, and I don t really want it to be big enough where I need help.
8
SPEAKER_01
But I do think some of that got graft onto me when I actually don t have that disposition all that much.
8
SPEAKER_01
Do you think I m delusional?
8
SPEAKER_00
I don t think you re delusional.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I think you guys are different.
8
SPEAKER_00
I do think though, like it happens all the time when I m talking to people for the show and stuff.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m not looping you in for no reason.
8
SPEAKER_00
I could, but why would I do that?
8
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna handle it.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m just gonna handle it.
8
SPEAKER_00
That s my disposition.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m much more like her.
8
SPEAKER_01
I want...
8
SPEAKER_00
Efficiency, first and foremost.
8
SPEAKER_00
I want things back to back.
8
SPEAKER_00
I want to knock it out.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m like her.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh, let me add though.
8
SPEAKER_01
I do appreciate how much stuff disappears that you make disappear that I don t even know about.
8
SPEAKER_01
So it s like, I haven t even, I haven t requested that.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s not really my disposition, but.
8
SPEAKER_01
I also enjoy the fact that there are a bunch of little things that I don t even know.
8
SPEAKER_01
I don t even want to call them little.
8
SPEAKER_01
There are a bunch of things I don t know about and I do enjoy that.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s practiced like that.
8
SPEAKER_00
If you re a good, I mean, maybe this is like a producer 101.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
That s the job is to handle shit.
8
SPEAKER_00
And for an assistant, and I think it can get very tricky for assistants.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I would want the person to know everything I did for them.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s so hard because everything s just happening seamlessly and flawlessly as it should.
8
SPEAKER_00
And that s the job is to go unnoticed and have everything in its right spot and done when it s done.
8
SPEAKER_00
I couldn t do it.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s really hard.
8
SPEAKER_01
I d have to tell you all the things I did for you.
8
SPEAKER_00
I know.
8
SPEAKER_00
And you have to be okay knowing they re just not going to know a lot of this stuff until you leave.
8
SPEAKER_01
And then they re pissed.
8
SPEAKER_01
You have to have the confidence and faith that they do recognize that and appreciate it.
8
SPEAKER_00
Some people
8
SPEAKER_01
Do and don t.
8
SPEAKER_00
Don t, and that would be so hard.
8
SPEAKER_00
Thank God, I mean, Kristen does, and that s very helpful.
8
SPEAKER_00
She s great about that.
8
SPEAKER_01
I presume so, because she s regularly telling me how much she appreciates that.
8
SPEAKER_01
this thing got handled and she didn t even know about it.
8
SPEAKER_01
She s aware of it and she ll often tell me how grateful she is that Anna s just three steps ahead and she doesn t even know it happened or she finds out after.
8
SPEAKER_00
When I trained her, or whatever, that s the main thing to impart.
8
SPEAKER_00
You are to try to include her in as little as possible.
8
SPEAKER_00
That s not necessarily something, I mean, she did make clear she liked that,
8
SPEAKER_00
She wasn t like, I don t wanna know anything, make sure I don t know anything.
8
SPEAKER_00
Like she never said that.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s just between.
8
SPEAKER_01
Well, you can see and I can see.
8
SPEAKER_01
So her, one of her shortcomings, which she would admit to is, and this has changed over the years, but she has a very hard time saying no.
8
SPEAKER_01
So she says yes a lot.
8
SPEAKER_01
And then so as two people who care about her, I think if you re around her a lot, you do get to see her become overwhelmed enough, frequently enough,
8
SPEAKER_01
that you start wanting to protect her from herself.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s also my role.
8
SPEAKER_00
I think that s right.
8
SPEAKER_00
I think I, with her and with you, because it s much more than just a professional relationship.
8
SPEAKER_00
Right.
8
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I m so grateful for the way it s all gone, so it has worked out, obviously.
8
SPEAKER_00
But when I say codependence, I need to protect my mom.
8
SPEAKER_00
I don t want her to be upset.
8
SPEAKER_00
So I m gonna take care of all the stuff so she s never upset.
8
SPEAKER_01
Similarly, most bosses don t send an email to a neighbor in defense of their employee.
8
SPEAKER_00
Well, at this point, that, yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it goes two ways.
8
SPEAKER_00
Right, I m not trying to...
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, anyway.
8
SPEAKER_01
Hold on, hold on.
8
SPEAKER_01
What happened?
8
SPEAKER_01
I m relating to you.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m saying, yes, I do the same for you.
8
SPEAKER_01
I do things for you that is not a employer employee relationship regularly.
8
SPEAKER_01
So I m caught in the same mire as you.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
What s wrong with that?
8
SPEAKER_00
Nothing, nothing.
8
SPEAKER_00
I was just thrown a little, I mean, cause I m not really talking about present day because I think present day is so different.
8
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I know technically you re my employer, but it s like,
8
SPEAKER_00
hard for me sometimes for me to like know that.
8
SPEAKER_00
I mean, just because we ve grown into such a partnership.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
I was only pointing out that if you were just someone I worked with and I found out they were being hassled by their neighbor, I probably wouldn t get involved.
8
SPEAKER_00
Can I?
8
SPEAKER_00
Yes, you would.
8
SPEAKER_00
Cause you, you have, you did it with Peggy.
8
SPEAKER_00
Like you do, you protect people, right?
8
SPEAKER_01
No, I, there, well, there s many, I don t, if, if Rob was at war with his neighbor, I wouldn t get involved.
8
SPEAKER_00
But you re connected to this.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yes, yes.
8
SPEAKER_01
But if your current landlord was being a bully to you, I would get involved.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I thought you were actively not getting involved before.
8
SPEAKER_01
Well, I was being begged by both you and Kristen to not get involved for sure.
8
SPEAKER_01
But I ve been trying to retaliate for three years.
8
SPEAKER_00
I guess I didn t really know that was so much about me, but it s nice that it was.
8
SPEAKER_01
Of course it is.
8
SPEAKER_01
There was no real major grievances that I had personally.
8
SPEAKER_00
Well, this new one was.
8
SPEAKER_01
But the laundry list I wrote, that s like a throwaway at the end.
8
SPEAKER_01
The primary offense is you.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
I mean, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
Just to say the relationships are... Multifaceted?
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, they re so deep and... Okay, back to the connections chain though, right?
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah, okay, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
So all I m saying is I am programmed and I ve also worked on it, like I work on it because I don t think it s healthy for me or you or her.
9
SPEAKER_00
I m not inquiring to challenge you or defeat you or prove that you re wrong.
9
SPEAKER_00
I m not even challenging you.
9
SPEAKER_00
I m really trying to get specifics because I don t like stressing people out.
9
SPEAKER_00
I do feel responsible and guilty about the fact that I am aggressive towards other men sometimes in public and the people around me have to deal with that.
9
SPEAKER_00
And I always want to apologize when I do that.
9
SPEAKER_00
I want to own when I do it.
9
SPEAKER_00
I want to try to do better.
9
SPEAKER_00
So I need to know the other things or I can t really improve on them.
9
SPEAKER_01
But it s not for you, it s not your job, it s my job.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s my job to think, okay, he asked to be on this.
9
SPEAKER_01
I don t need to think 14 steps ahead of like, well, he s gonna get texts every single day and he might not like those texts every single day.
9
SPEAKER_01
Like he might get annoyed that it s like going off and then he might feel like he has to respond.
9
SPEAKER_01
And I don t need to do that, that s my issue.
9
SPEAKER_00
That might be your ism, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
Mine s aggression, that s my ism, this worrying, but I m just wanna alleviate you like, I m so excited to have new friends on this text change and have this dumb game to text about every day.
9
SPEAKER_00
And I ve already accused one of the participants to cheating.
9
SPEAKER_01
I know, I don t know why you did that.
9
SPEAKER_01
I don t even know who you were talking about, Robbie?
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, because he posted his and then I replied specifically to his.
9
SPEAKER_00
I said, I m too new to the group to say this, but I smell a cheat.
9
SPEAKER_00
He s not a cheat.
9
SPEAKER_00
I m sure he s not.
9
SPEAKER_00
If I thought he was really cheating, I wouldn t be accusing him of it.
9
SPEAKER_01
But okay.
9
SPEAKER_01
I m going to teach you about reading these.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
So Callie, that was Tuesday.
9
SPEAKER_01
Let s look at today.
9
SPEAKER_00
Well, let s also talk yesterday.
9
SPEAKER_00
I fucking shit the bed.
9
SPEAKER_00
I was so embarrassed to send my results to the chain.
9
SPEAKER_01
Can I, I was so proud of you for sending that.
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh, good.
9
SPEAKER_00
I really, really, really was.
9
SPEAKER_01
You did, it wasn t your best showing.
9
SPEAKER_00
I did terrible, yeah, I did terrible.
9
SPEAKER_01
Sometimes, whatever.
9
SPEAKER_00
I only had one, if I made more and more of a mistake, I would have failed.
9
SPEAKER_00
Right, and- This is gonna be a good game to teach me about pausing on my decisiveness, because I m so decisive.
9
SPEAKER_01
Right, exactly.
9
SPEAKER_00
I usually make the mistakes in the first couple, so I m so- Because you re just moving so quick.
9
SPEAKER_00
I got this, boom, yeah, I wanna get to the hard ones.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
So yeah, you, you made a bunch of mistakes.
9
SPEAKER_01
You sent it to the chat.
9
SPEAKER_01
And I think that was another thing.
9
SPEAKER_01
I was like, Oh my God, if he doesn t get one, he s going to be upset.
9
SPEAKER_01
And then he s going to feel like he has to send it.
9
SPEAKER_01
And then he s going to feel like, I don t want to trigger him feeling like stupid because he s not.
9
SPEAKER_01
And then am I going to have to tell everyone like, guys, just reminding you, Dax is smart.
9
SPEAKER_00
Like, uh, anthropology degree.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
Man, you re cum laude.
9
SPEAKER_00
What if I started like, just like... Liberal arts education.
9
SPEAKER_00
Let s go, Gates.
9
SPEAKER_00
Hellenic studies.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
But yesterday, Robbie got them perfect, and then Max got them perfect.
9
SPEAKER_00
No mistakes.
9
SPEAKER_01
And I made one mistake.
9
SPEAKER_01
Did you see that?
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
So you could see, but could you tell I only got one wrong?
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_00
I can.
9
SPEAKER_01
I wanted to make sure you could tell it was only one wrong.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
You re just, you re just screenshotting the color blocks.
9
SPEAKER_01
So you said, you send share results and it shows up like that.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, it s like Wordle.
9
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so I made one mistake and then you made some but then you said- No, I made a lot.
9
SPEAKER_00
Well, you said- The most you can make.
9
SPEAKER_01
But you still got it though.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you did get it.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s not the most you can make, you can make so many that you don t get it.
9
SPEAKER_00
I didn t fail, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and so you said, deeply ashamed to share this and I almost cried.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you did.
9
SPEAKER_01
And he said, if I don t do better tomorrow, I promise to leave the group.
9
SPEAKER_01
And oh my God, I like, it s too, it s a little too much for me, I think.
9
SPEAKER_00
Well, you know, Monica, I m doing very good with this stupid thing.
9
SPEAKER_00
I feel totally smart enough to be in this group.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you are.
9
SPEAKER_00
I do, I do.
9
SPEAKER_00
I think that that insecurity certainly has diminished greatly.
9
SPEAKER_00
I ve made a lot, a lot of progress in that.
9
SPEAKER_00
I don t even feel the urge.
9
SPEAKER_01
But then I thought, oh no, he said he s going to leave and now everyone is going to be like, no.
9
Oh God.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s fine.
9
SPEAKER_00
Then I d be really embarrassed.
9
SPEAKER_01
It wasn t that bad.
9
SPEAKER_01
And like, that is something, by the way, that is something Robin would do because he s very.
9
SPEAKER_00
I did cheat.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
would not be surprised if you said that.
9
SPEAKER_01
Would not be surprised.
9
SPEAKER_00
I would have done that bad too if I didn t cheat.
9
SPEAKER_01
He s very sweet.
9
SPEAKER_01
And so he would want you to feel good.
9
SPEAKER_01
Because I said, don t ever leave.
9
SPEAKER_01
And then he, Robbie said, LOL, that will not be necessary.
9
SPEAKER_01
I have plenty of those.
9
SPEAKER_00
Like, you know, he s trying to make you feel sweet.
9
SPEAKER_01
And then you said something about being a dumb dumb.
9
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
9
SPEAKER_01
I just hated it.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, no, no, it was a good one, it was a good one.
9
SPEAKER_01
Okay, you said, you said, I guess being the dum-dum could lift everyone else s spirits, maybe I ll look at it as service work.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, that s funny.
9
SPEAKER_01
It was funny, but it hurt my heart a little bit.
9
SPEAKER_01
And then.
9
SPEAKER_00
This is so very, maybe I need to leave the team for your.
9
SPEAKER_01
No, I should, this is good for me.
9
SPEAKER_00
What if you left the team?
9
SPEAKER_00
I know, honestly, that s more likely.
9
SPEAKER_01
No, it s good for me, it s good for me.
9
SPEAKER_00
This is hysterical.
9
SPEAKER_01
Anywho, it s been a real journey the past couple of days with connections.
9
SPEAKER_00
I fucking love the game.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I love it too, it s so fun.
9
SPEAKER_01
Have you been impressed by me or no?
9
SPEAKER_00
I wish I, like, you re not gonna like this.
9
SPEAKER_00
I don t really, I m not impressed if someone does good or bad.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yes, you are.
9
SPEAKER_00
Not at this thing.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yes, because even like when we did puzzles with AJ, you were impressed that I was getting them.
9
SPEAKER_00
Absolutely.
9
SPEAKER_01
So.
9
SPEAKER_00
Absolutely.
9
SPEAKER_00
I was very impressed.
9
SPEAKER_00
You were very quick.
9
SPEAKER_01
Thanks.
9
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if people are spending three hours on this or they do it in two seconds.
9
SPEAKER_00
Like, I don t know.
9
SPEAKER_00
I think if I spend an hour on it, I can get it right every day.
9
SPEAKER_01
Sometimes I don t think I could even.
9
SPEAKER_00
An hour.
9
SPEAKER_01
But anyway, I ve just been doing really well.
9
SPEAKER_00
I just like, impressive is a 1600 on the SAT.
9
SPEAKER_00
Like connections, it s cool.
9
SPEAKER_01
Really cuz like I ll try to be more.
9
SPEAKER_00
I ll try to be more impressed.
9
SPEAKER_01
You don t have you don t need to be impressed.
9
SPEAKER_01
I just It s like none of my dad s are proud of me.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh How dare you they just aren t oh really if you ever seen anyone and come up to me where I don t go Look at that house.
9
SPEAKER_00
That s Monica s house over there.
9
SPEAKER_00
I m so proud of you.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s ridiculous No, I want you to be proud of my brain connection.
9
SPEAKER_00
Well, I can you just mentioned a time I was Celebrating your intelligence on AJ s podcast.
9
SPEAKER_01
Well, I had to bring it up.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh
9
SPEAKER_00
Anyways connections really great game.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, great game great game.
9
SPEAKER_01
Okay, this is for Christina Applegate.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay, great
9
SPEAKER_01
And this was wonderful.
9
SPEAKER_01
I have the biggest sim of all time.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
You want to tell it was while you were editing this.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yep.
9
SPEAKER_01
I was editing this show at Cara shout out.
9
SPEAKER_01
Then I was walking home and I had some left because I didn t want to walk home in the dark.
9
SPEAKER_01
You know, my whole, I have to get ahead of it.
9
SPEAKER_01
So I, and I hate editing and walking.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s really hard to do.
9
SPEAKER_01
So I don t do it that often.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
You hold your laptop?
9
SPEAKER_01
No, I do it on my phone.
9
SPEAKER_01
So there s just so much pausing.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s not fun.
9
SPEAKER_01
I don t do it very often.
9
SPEAKER_01
I only do it if I like really want to get something done by a time.
9
SPEAKER_00
Necessity.
9
SPEAKER_01
So I was walking and finishing up this edit and I was at the part where you say that she reminds you of your sister.
9
SPEAKER_01
And I say, oh my gosh, I was just thinking that I was going to tell you after.
9
SPEAKER_00
Sweet Carly, Carly, Carly, sweet Carly.
9
SPEAKER_00
You re hearing Carly.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
9
SPEAKER_01
I look up, I m on Los Fios Boulevard and Carly is walking towards me with her dogs.
9
SPEAKER_00
You almost jumped out of your skin.
9
SPEAKER_01
I freaked out.
9
SPEAKER_01
And I think I scared her because I was like, oh my God, I just, I m listening to Christina.
9
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_01
And she looks, she reminds us of you.
9
SPEAKER_01
And then, and then I m talking to like, she got inundated with a lot of energy.
9
SPEAKER_00
She might ve thought you were gacked up or something.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
And I was on The Sim.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, sure, it hits.
9
SPEAKER_01
It was crazy being there in the moment where she just materialized.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
It was bizarre.
9
SPEAKER_00
Okay, weirdly, this is a perfect ding, ding, ding.
9
SPEAKER_00
So I dropped the kids off at school this morning.
9
SPEAKER_00
I pulled back in the driveway and I got my connections out in the car.
9
SPEAKER_00
I decided like, oh, now s a perfect time before I go in and I have to answer any questions or I m gonna just take this time in the car.
9
SPEAKER_01
Sure, me time.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, where I can really focus.
9
SPEAKER_00
And I wasn t quite finished.
9
SPEAKER_00
And I could just see out of the corner of my eye, Kristen was exiting in her workout clothes.
9
SPEAKER_00
I m assuming she saw me.
9
SPEAKER_00
I just pulled in five minutes before.
9
SPEAKER_00
And she walks up to the door absentmindedly.
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh, to your, the car you were in.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
9
SPEAKER_00
And she grabs the driver s side door handle.
10
SPEAKER_00
and then sees me sitting Monica.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God, she screams so loud.
10
SPEAKER_00
I know exactly what she would look like seeing a ghost.
10
SPEAKER_00
Like she, it almost killed her.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s so scary.
10
SPEAKER_00
She was like.
10
SPEAKER_00
Well, you ve seen her when she gets so scared she starts crying.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh, she cried?
10
SPEAKER_00
She was fighting it back, but yeah, her eyes were immediately glazed over.
10
SPEAKER_00
And it s so funny because I m just like, I m so sweetly sitting in a car playing a game and to see someone get that fucking freaked out.
10
SPEAKER_01
There is nothing like that feeling.
10
SPEAKER_01
that unexpected somebody popped out.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, human is somewhere you didn t think there was any humans.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s a funny thing to do to people.
10
SPEAKER_01
Why are we so scared?
10
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I guess it s good.
10
SPEAKER_00
Well, it s a scary world.
10
SPEAKER_00
People have been getting murdered from the beginning of time.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, survival.
10
Yeah, I know.
10
SPEAKER_00
By the way, I m reading that.
10
SPEAKER_00
brief history of intelligence that Duckworth suggested.
10
SPEAKER_00
It is a fascinating book.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh, good.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s kind of wild how late into this game we got sight and hearing and all that.
10
SPEAKER_00
Most of the time, these organisms are just cruising around Earth in darkness and in silence.
10
SPEAKER_01
Nuts.
10
SPEAKER_00
Responding to whatever they bumped into.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s weird.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, I m so glad we re seeing and hearing and tasting and touching.
10
SPEAKER_01
Again, kind of weird.
10
SPEAKER_00
No, I know.
10
SPEAKER_01
Kind of weird.
10
SPEAKER_01
How are we alive right now?
10
SPEAKER_01
I don t get it.
10
SPEAKER_00
We live in a time with connections.
10
SPEAKER_01
And Carly appearing out of nowhere.
10
SPEAKER_00
Right, sure.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s just, something s wrong, but I don t wanna look too deep.
10
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
10
SPEAKER_01
Now, a couple facts.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, she mentions a guy, Josh Richman.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
And she said, everyone kinda knows him.
10
SPEAKER_01
He s friends with Robert Downey Jr.
10
SPEAKER_01
There s an article on him.
10
SPEAKER_01
He s the godfather of the L.A.
10
SPEAKER_01
club scene.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I wonder, I almost feel like there might be a doc about him.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it says his clubs have defined the LA party scene.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so for me, he holds this very interesting place.
10
SPEAKER_00
So I used to go with Kareem to clubs.
10
SPEAKER_00
We would try to go dancing.
10
SPEAKER_00
And of course, led by him, I didn t really know anything about LA, but he knew.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
And he somehow knew Josh because his boss was friends with Josh.
10
SPEAKER_00
And so occasionally we would go to these clubs and it was like, we d have to go up to Josh.
10
SPEAKER_00
And yeah, he s this very specific looking gentleman who has had a cane since he was in his 20s or 30s, whatever age he is.
10
SPEAKER_00
He was older than us, but probably not much.
10
SPEAKER_00
So for, I don t know, five years of my life, he was somebody who occasionally, more often than not, didn t let me into a place.
10
SPEAKER_00
Nor should he have.
10
SPEAKER_00
I was dressed like shit, and I wasn t on a TV show, and that s the kind of club it was, and whatever.
10
SPEAKER_00
Like, I have no reason to care.
10
SPEAKER_00
But I knew him as a figure very clearly, because he was the gatekeeper of these places we would try to go.
10
SPEAKER_00
And so I have a complicated relationship with Josh that he doesn t even deserve.
10
SPEAKER_00
But for me, it does symbolize the time I was on the outside of the party.
10
SPEAKER_00
And he s totally nice.
10
SPEAKER_00
I ve been around him with Downey.
10
SPEAKER_00
I ve been around him with different people.
10
SPEAKER_00
But it s hard for me to escape the five years of going, oh, there s that fucking guy.
10
SPEAKER_00
He s not gonna let us in.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
And now you ve done it to people.
10
SPEAKER_01
What are you talking about?
10
SPEAKER_01
Well, we have.
10
SPEAKER_01
We have done it to people.
10
SPEAKER_01
I think about that sometimes.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s the reality of business, but we say no to people.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
And it s just the truth.
10
SPEAKER_00
Well, we have a finite amount and the club has a finite amount of capacity.
10
SPEAKER_00
Listen, he is the king.
10
SPEAKER_00
He has promoted all these clubs for all these years and been very successful.
10
SPEAKER_00
So I m owning it.
10
SPEAKER_00
When I see him, it reminds me of my insecurity.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, of course.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
10
SPEAKER_00
I know, I m not- But even when she brought him up, I don t know what my reaction was in the episode, but it s so loaded for me.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wow.
10
SPEAKER_00
That even hearing, yeah, Josh, the guy with the cane, I m like, I feel insecure.
10
SPEAKER_00
When we would get in though, boy, what fun it was.
10
SPEAKER_00
It was so fun.
10
SPEAKER_01
I do not like clubs.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I love them.
10
SPEAKER_00
I really miss them.
10
SPEAKER_01
What?
10
SPEAKER_01
You said the other day when you were like, if I never step foot- In a party.
10
SPEAKER_01
A club is a party on crack.
10
SPEAKER_00
Literally.
10
SPEAKER_00
A club for me is a dance floor.
10
SPEAKER_00
Like I went to clubs to dance, and I love to dance.
10
SPEAKER_00
And there s so many exciting people on the dance floor.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s like visual bachnalia.
10
SPEAKER_00
Going and standing in a loud place, trying to converse with people and then move to another group of people and never dance, I don t like that.
10
SPEAKER_01
I see, all right.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, the Coogan account, it s 15% of gross earnings.
10
SPEAKER_01
That s not a lot.
10
SPEAKER_01
No, that s not.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, the lineup for Married With Children, we were talking about the other shows were on that night.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
It was 21 Jump Street.
10
SPEAKER_00
Wow, what a show.
10
SPEAKER_01
And the Tracy Ullman show.
10
SPEAKER_00
It was Tracy Ullman.
10
SPEAKER_00
You know, for a new network,
10
SPEAKER_00
to come out of the gates.
10
SPEAKER_00
Think how many shows NBC, ABC, CBS, they launch every fall.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
Vast majority don t stick.
10
SPEAKER_00
But 21 Jump Street was a massive hit that ran.
10
SPEAKER_00
And so it launched John Depp.
10
SPEAKER_01
I know.
10
SPEAKER_00
Huh.
10
SPEAKER_00
And then Married with Children.
10
SPEAKER_00
And Tracy Olmsted was great.
10
SPEAKER_00
And they launched The Simpsons.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I guess when it started, the first week, it was just Married with Children and The Tracy Allman Show.
10
SPEAKER_01
Then the next week, it was the three shows.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh, wow.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
10
SPEAKER_00
And Kelly was hot.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, sure.
10
SPEAKER_00
I mean, come on.
10
SPEAKER_00
If you re a teenage boy, like, you had Melissa Milano on Who s the Boss?
10
SPEAKER_00
You just had a handful of people your age that you could see on TV.
10
SPEAKER_01
Blossom.
10
SPEAKER_00
No, she was a little past me.
10
SPEAKER_01
Mayim Bialik.
10
SPEAKER_00
Right, that was my sister, Love Blossom.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah, I love Blossom.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but for me it was basically Alyssa Milano and Applegate.
10
SPEAKER_01
Well, or what s her name from Bewitched?
10
SPEAKER_00
Samantha?
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
That was before me, but yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
Elizabeth something.
10
SPEAKER_00
Montgomery.
10
SPEAKER_01
Elizabeth Montgomery.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I guess, well, you know what made me feel weird as a kid was I Dream of Jeannie, because she was kind of sexy.
10
SPEAKER_01
She was sexy, yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and I was like eight.
10
SPEAKER_00
And like, this woman is in a weird outfit, and she s like.
10
SPEAKER_01
Her belly s out.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it was very provocative.
10
SPEAKER_00
The other show that made me feel crazy was Benny Hill, which came on very late at night.
10
SPEAKER_00
If I was up really late on a weekend night.
10
SPEAKER_01
Was it black and white?
10
SPEAKER_00
And it was like... And it was like fast, they would do fast motion.
10
SPEAKER_00
And like Benny would be chasing a woman around the backyard.
10
SPEAKER_00
And like women were often in bra and underwear.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it was an English show.
10
SPEAKER_00
It was sexy.
10
SPEAKER_00
Well, there s like women in lingerie on it all the time.
10
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it was supposed to be sexy.
10
SPEAKER_00
It was a comedy show, Benny Hill show.
10
SPEAKER_00
But there was often women in negligees and stuff.
10
SPEAKER_01
But was it in black and white?
10
SPEAKER_00
I think it was in color, but does that song ring a bell though?
10
SPEAKER_00
That s the Benny Hill theme song.
10
SPEAKER_00
That s crazy.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
10
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
10
SPEAKER_01
So much to learn.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, the show was called Not the Cosby s originally.
10
SPEAKER_01
She said Not the Cosby Show.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, really close.
10
SPEAKER_00
Very, very close.
10
SPEAKER_00
That would just be one wrong on connections.
10
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
10
SPEAKER_01
Icarus, Icarus has come up a few times.
10
SPEAKER_00
We like that one now.
10
SPEAKER_00
I think people are very familiar with the term flew too close to the sun, but I don t know if they know it comes from Icarus.
10
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
10
SPEAKER_01
Why did Icarus fly so close to the sun?
10
SPEAKER_01
As they were approaching the island of Samos, Icarus turned arrogant.
10
SPEAKER_01
He felt an unconquerable urge to fly towards heaven as close to the sun as he could.
10
SPEAKER_01
Ignoring his father s warnings, he flew higher and higher until the wax that held the wings together melted and he began falling at speed.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh no, Icarus.
10
SPEAKER_00
I know.
10
SPEAKER_00
Don t get too cocky.
10
SPEAKER_01
Recklessness.
10
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna fly directly into the sun and blow it up.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he drowned, he drowned.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh, we lost him.
10
SPEAKER_00
So he was killed by his arrogance.
10
SPEAKER_00
That would also then be hubris.
10
SPEAKER_01
Exactly, another.
10
SPEAKER_00
Another Hellenic studies, liberal arts education.
10
SPEAKER_01
And Achilles heel in some ways.
10
SPEAKER_00
That s a little different.
10
SPEAKER_00
I think he s more like a sympathetic character, right?
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it is more sympathetic.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s like, that s his soft spot basically.
10
SPEAKER_00
He was like invincible, but.
10
SPEAKER_01
I know, but when I think about Achilles heel in modern day, I think of it as a personality component.
10
SPEAKER_01
Like the part of you that is the part that can take you down.
10
SPEAKER_00
Very fallible.
10
SPEAKER_00
Pathos.
10
SPEAKER_00
Hellenic studies.
10
SPEAKER_01
Let s see here.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
10
SPEAKER_01
She said she d read something about how children s DNA gets sort of implanted in the mother s brain.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think she s thinking
11
SPEAKER_03
Speaking of the epigenome, it passes on.
11
SPEAKER_04
Right, well, there s an article in sciencenews.org with a very cute baby, picture.
11
SPEAKER_04
And it says in here, fetal cells are probably sprinkled throughout a mother s brain.
11
SPEAKER_04
A study of women who had died in their 70s found that over half of the women had male DNA, a snippet from the Y chromosome in their brains, presumably from when their sons were in the womb.
11
SPEAKER_04
Scientists often look for male DNA in women because it s easier than distinguishing a daughter s DNA from her mother s.
11
SPEAKER_04
If DNA from daughters were included, the number of women with children s cells in their brains would probably be higher.
11
SPEAKER_03
Ding, ding, ding, if you look at your text from me, I have forwarded you an article that Kristen forwarded me yesterday that is so fascinating.
11
SPEAKER_03
And it s a ding, ding, ding to Noah Hawley.
11
SPEAKER_03
It s an Atlantic article about now that we have such comprehensive DNA testing and database, the prevalence of incest is the real rate of it is kind of becoming known.
11
SPEAKER_03
And it s so much higher than previously assumed.
11
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, and remember Noah Hawley was saying his mother had written about it extensively.
11
SPEAKER_03
And they were saying it was like a one in a million occurrence.
11
SPEAKER_03
And this article quotes that as having been the previous assumption.
11
SPEAKER_03
But now there s a database that says it s one in 7,000, but it s worse than that because that s incest that resulted in a pregnancy that didn t miscarry, not an abortion.
11
SPEAKER_03
Actually was delivered.
11
SPEAKER_03
What so if you work backwards the numbers the incident rate is way way higher than that the articles about like a guy that He had been adopted and he had known the story that the the family had come in 14 year old girl had the baby and then they all fled and they had given fake names at the hospital and then he came to learn that
11
SPEAKER_03
through DNA testing, because he wanted to find his mom, that they call it, I forget the term.
11
SPEAKER_03
I gotta memorize it.
11
SPEAKER_03
It was a really good term.
11
SPEAKER_03
It was like homeogeneity of something.
11
SPEAKER_03
There s too long of a section of your DNA that is suspicious.
11
SPEAKER_03
So they can pretty much tell.
11
SPEAKER_03
And through tons of investigation, he was the result.
11
SPEAKER_03
And he didn t know forever if it was the father and the 14-year-old girl or the older brother.
11
SPEAKER_03
and he discovered it was the older brother.
11
SPEAKER_03
No.
11
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_04
But he doesn t know them, right?
11
SPEAKER_03
Well, he has tried to get in touch and then he started this community and there s now a large community in this Facebook group of all of people who have discovered this and the amount of shame that they have and they feel defective.
11
SPEAKER_03
And then, you know, we ve been raised on incest results, recessive genes materializing, all this stuff.
11
SPEAKER_03
And they were basically saying that that is true, but it s a very low incident rate.
11
SPEAKER_03
actually, like our fear of having some kind of recessive monster, it s like one in a hundred.
11
SPEAKER_03
It s not as bad, but that feeling that you re like this recessive monster and that you re the product of something terrible.
11
SPEAKER_03
And it s a great article.
11
SPEAKER_03
It makes you realize like this group, I of course was seeing the parallel.
11
SPEAKER_03
It s like this group is first names only.
11
SPEAKER_03
And I was like, oh yeah, it s just like alcoholism in the thirties.
11
SPEAKER_03
And so,
11
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, it s taboo, it makes you people uncomfortable to talk about, but also I feel like we re aiding in that shame by not.
11
SPEAKER_04
I know.
11
SPEAKER_03
In the same way that like we should just talk about addiction and we should talk about all these things and eating disorders and all this stuff and people should just feel fine about.
11
SPEAKER_03
the hand they were dealt.
11
SPEAKER_04
I agree, but also to be first one up or like be these token symbols, it also sucks.
11
SPEAKER_04
It s like I have to take one for the team here.
11
SPEAKER_04
Am I willing to do that?
11
SPEAKER_04
And I understand if the answer is no.
11
SPEAKER_04
Wow.
11
SPEAKER_04
Okay, I found a New Yorker about misheard lyrics, but now it s like not, I m trying to sign in and it s not letting me sign in.
11
SPEAKER_04
I m going to try a different one, but I wanted it to be the New Yorker because reputable, but... Very interesting.
11
SPEAKER_04
I guess not.
11
SPEAKER_04
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_04
We re going to have to go with Hollywood Reporter.
11
SPEAKER_03
Just a little bit different, but... A little bit different.
11
SPEAKER_04
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_04
Common misheard lyrics.
11
SPEAKER_04
In sync, it s going to be me.
11
SPEAKER_04
People think it s going to be May.
11
SPEAKER_03
Well, I don t even know what song.
11
SPEAKER_03
Can you sing it?
11
SPEAKER_04
No, I won t sing it.
11
SPEAKER_04
Do you want to sing it, Rob?
11
SPEAKER_03
No.
11
SPEAKER_04
Okay, Dancing Queen.
11
SPEAKER_03
ABBA.
11
SPEAKER_04
Feel the beat on the tangerine.
11
SPEAKER_04
But the correct lyric is feel the beat on the tambourine.
11
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that s the easy mistake.
11
SPEAKER_04
Okay, Starship We Built This City.
11
SPEAKER_02
We built this city on rock and roll.
11
SPEAKER_04
This article, we built the city on sausage rolls.
11
SPEAKER_03
No, no one s ever heard that.
11
SPEAKER_04
No one said that.
11
SPEAKER_03
No.
11
SPEAKER_04
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_04
Also, Oh my God.
11
SPEAKER_04
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_04
This, this is the Beatles.
11
SPEAKER_04
I want to hold your hand.
11
SPEAKER_04
Some people think it s, I want to hold your ham.
11
SPEAKER_01
I wanna hold your ham.
11
SPEAKER_01
I wanna hold your ham.
11
SPEAKER_01
I do want to hold everyone s ham.
11
SPEAKER_00
These are the same ones from the New Yorker.
11
SPEAKER_00
They are?
11
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_03
Oh, wow.
11
SPEAKER_03
Was this like a national poll resulted in this?
11
SPEAKER_04
The ham, people really think that.
11
SPEAKER_03
Come on.
11
SPEAKER_04
They think I want to hold your ham.
11
SPEAKER_00
I do want to hold people s ham though.
11
SPEAKER_00
Sausage rolls is on there too.
11
SPEAKER_04
What?
11
SPEAKER_04
Okay, and then the next one is Bon Jovi living on a prayer.
11
SPEAKER_04
It doesn t make a difference if we make it or not is the real lyric.
11
SPEAKER_04
I guess some people think it doesn t make a difference if we re naked or not.
11
SPEAKER_03
Oh, well it would make a big difference if we were naked.
11
SPEAKER_03
That would be a lie.
11
SPEAKER_03
Jon Bon Jovi doesn t lie.
11
SPEAKER_03
Slash Jon Jovi.
11
SPEAKER_04
I know, love him.
11
SPEAKER_03
Remember we interviewed Jon Jovi.
11
SPEAKER_03
I know.
11
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, Jon Jon.
11
SPEAKER_04
Okay, my heart will go on.
11
SPEAKER_04
No, no.
11
SPEAKER_03
What is that song?
11
SPEAKER_04
Titanic.
11
SPEAKER_04
The big song in Titanic.
11
SPEAKER_03
Celine Dion.
11
SPEAKER_03
Celine Dion.
11
SPEAKER_03
Celine Dion.
11
SPEAKER_04
The line, I believe that the heart does go on is sometimes replaced with, I believe that the hot dogs go on.
11
SPEAKER_03
No.
11
SPEAKER_03
No.
11
SPEAKER_04
No, no, no, no.
11
SPEAKER_03
This is interesting, though, because this happened this morning.
11
SPEAKER_03
Erin and I were arguing about the lyrics for Diarrhea.
11
SPEAKER_03
Diarrhea.
11
SPEAKER_03
So we re making posters for Tigers opening day for Ted Seegers.
11
SPEAKER_04
For Tigers opening day?
11
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, Tigers opening day of baseball.
11
SPEAKER_04
Oh!
11
SPEAKER_03
In Detroit.
11
SPEAKER_03
Oh, oh, oh.
11
SPEAKER_03
Which is virtually a state holiday opening day.
11
SPEAKER_03
Oh, cool.
11
SPEAKER_03
Huge day.
11
SPEAKER_03
Kind of symbolizes spring.
11
SPEAKER_03
Is it that way in Chicago to like opening day is like yeah, it s almost like summer s around the corner.
11
SPEAKER_03
It s a huge day So we made these different posters and I wrote different taglines But Aaron had written when you re rounding first and you feel an insatiable thirst Ted Seegees Ted Seegees and I said, I think it s sliding into first.
11
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that s how I know it.
11
SPEAKER_03
Oh
11
SPEAKER_03
I think that s how everyone knows it.
11
SPEAKER_03
This is so rare that when you re rounding first, it doesn t sound right.
11
SPEAKER_04
No, that s just because he knows baseball so well.
11
SPEAKER_03
And then he tried to tell me people don t slide into first.
11
SPEAKER_03
And I was like, I don t play baseball, but I know people slide.
11
SPEAKER_00
Well, you re not supposed to.
11
SPEAKER_00
You re told not to.
11
SPEAKER_00
But people do.
11
SPEAKER_03
I see it all the time.
11
SPEAKER_00
I watch very few.
11
SPEAKER_00
Only base you can run through.
11
SPEAKER_00
So your momentum is actually better to keep trying to run.
11
SPEAKER_00
But people do slide into first.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, OK.
11
SPEAKER_04
It s because he knows baseball so well.
11
SPEAKER_03
Inside baseball.
11
SPEAKER_03
This is the first time it s literal.
11
SPEAKER_04
Oh my God, he s too inside baseball.
11
SPEAKER_03
Inside baseball.
11
SPEAKER_04
That he can t see that people took liberties.
11
SPEAKER_03
Yes.
11
SPEAKER_03
When you re rounding pass first and you feel that insatiable thirst, Ted Seagees.
11
SPEAKER_03
That s funny.
11
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, but it should be sliding into first, right?
11
SPEAKER_04
I guess I don t have skin in the game there.
11
SPEAKER_04
Both are funny.
11
SPEAKER_04
It makes sense to me.
11
SPEAKER_03
Do you want to think of diarrhea right before you order a beer though?
11
SPEAKER_04
Well, no.
11
SPEAKER_04
If I m being honest, no, I don t.
11
SPEAKER_04
But I thought that was a not a good, I thought you guys are definitely using that.
11
SPEAKER_03
No, no, no, no, we re picking, we re not gonna make five posters.
11
SPEAKER_03
So I was like, I love it, it s really funny, but I don t want anyone to think about diarrhea.
11
SPEAKER_04
Especially because beer does cause diarrhea.
11
SPEAKER_00
Guys like diarrhea and it s probably targeted more at men, right?
11
SPEAKER_03
Guys like diarrhea like a diarrhea joke.
11
SPEAKER_03
Sure.
11
SPEAKER_03
Sure.
11
SPEAKER_03
Sure.
11
SPEAKER_03
I just don t know if they then want to get thirsty for something I don t know.
11
SPEAKER_03
I was like, well, let s just keep it away from diarrhea, even though I like it Yeah, then I made up some new lyrics once we were fighting about it.
11
SPEAKER_02
You know, I hear him That s nice, right we need some new lyrics here s another one
11
SPEAKER_04
The only Logic I ll poke in the third one.
11
SPEAKER_04
Yeah is if it s spraying you re not getting the thud I know I just tried to rhyme something with mud I know but I think you would mud and thud is right.
11
SPEAKER_04
It s just the spraying part.
11
SPEAKER_03
All right, okay when you
11
SPEAKER_04
Fill your shorts.
11
SPEAKER_03
Blast your shorts with mud.
11
SPEAKER_03
Blast, yeah.
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SPEAKER_03
Because that would thud.
11
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_03
Anyways, get some Ted Seegers, tedseegers.com.
11
SPEAKER_04
Get some Ted Seegers.
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SPEAKER_03
And pound them.
11
SPEAKER_03
I have to say one of my very favorite drinking memories of my entire life.
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SPEAKER_03
You know, you have some
12
SPEAKER_01
Do you have favorites?
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SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
What are a couple of yours?
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SPEAKER_03
No, you tell me yours.
12
SPEAKER_01
Well, I went with Aaron and Brian Bullis and we went down to Tiger s Opening Day and we were 19.
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SPEAKER_01
Bullis had a fake ID and we got these 64 ounce jugs of Colt 45.
12
SPEAKER_01
Two zigzags?
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SPEAKER_01
What s that?
12
SPEAKER_03
It s a song.
12
SPEAKER_01
Oh, it is?
12
SPEAKER_01
Afroman.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh, guys.
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SPEAKER_01
You re so young.
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SPEAKER_01
I wanna be on that text chain about whatever lyrics that is.
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SPEAKER_01
But yeah, we each had a couple 64-ouncers, so 128 ounces of Colt 45.
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SPEAKER_01
We tried to go into the game, we couldn t.
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SPEAKER_01
We hung in the parking lot.
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SPEAKER_01
We just had, it was the perfect sunny day.
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SPEAKER_01
Everyone was excited about opening day.
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SPEAKER_01
That s fun.
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SPEAKER_01
These malt liquors tasted so good.
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SPEAKER_01
It was the perfect buzz.
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SPEAKER_01
That s a highlight memory.
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SPEAKER_03
That s good.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
And I was 19.
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SPEAKER_01
I was like, I like this.
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SPEAKER_01
I like getting drunk in a parking lot.
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SPEAKER_03
I mean, yeah.
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SPEAKER_03
Tailgating definitely is up there for me as well.
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SPEAKER_03
Just life memories.
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SPEAKER_01
It s as good as it gets.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
You re outdoors.
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SPEAKER_01
Fucking the spirits right.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
It s really special.
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SPEAKER_01
Robbie never.
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SPEAKER_01
Well, it s never your thing, huh?
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SPEAKER_00
I didn t drink till I turned 21.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh, wow.
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SPEAKER_00
Such a good boy.
12
SPEAKER_00
Well, no, I had a beer in Canada two weeks before my 21st birthday, because it was legal in Canada.
12
SPEAKER_01
Did you feel like 19?
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, 19.
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SPEAKER_03
Oh, yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Well, I was 20, but I was allowed to have it.
12
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I m just saying that, yeah, the age is 19.
12
SPEAKER_03
Did you like the taste?
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SPEAKER_00
No, I didn t even finish it.
12
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I remember the first time I tried beer, and it was so disgusting.
12
SPEAKER_03
I could not believe people would drink it.
12
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I liked it immediately.
12
SPEAKER_03
I hated it, but then I grew to like it.
12
SPEAKER_02
It s delicious.
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SPEAKER_02
I grew to like it too.
12
SPEAKER_02
I get beer snobby.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, you like beer snobby.
12
SPEAKER_02
You got into the hole.
12
SPEAKER_03
Okay, now.
12
SPEAKER_03
How long we been at this?
12
SPEAKER_03
I don t know.
12
SPEAKER_02
Hour 10.
12
SPEAKER_03
Oh God, okay.
12
SPEAKER_03
That s it.
12
SPEAKER_03
All right, so we gotta go.
12
SPEAKER_03
Love you.
12
SPEAKER_01
Love you.
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you