0
SPEAKER_01
Call from Johnny.
0
SPEAKER_00
Hello.
0
SPEAKER_00
Hello.
0
SPEAKER_00
Johnny, what s going on?
0
SPEAKER_00
Well, man, I m chilling.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m breathing.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m doing all right.
0
SPEAKER_00
You know, yeah, that s that s pretty good.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s pretty good if you can breathe.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s like a good sign of prosperity in my book.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Thankful for it, man.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m glad to be here.
0
SPEAKER_00
So what s up, Johnny?
0
SPEAKER_00
Would you want to talk about?
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, I had a pretty rough three years since graduating high school.
0
SPEAKER_01
I ve like lost a lot of friends over the past three years.
0
SPEAKER_01
Uh, been in a pretty terrible relationship.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, just like going through my twenties, you know?
0
SPEAKER_00
And you re what?
0
21?
0
SPEAKER_00
I am 21.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, why did you lose a lot of friends?
0
SPEAKER_01
Um,
0
SPEAKER_01
So I kind of just gradually stopped talking to them because, uh, I don t know if it s just like a standard with high school friends that, you know, over time you just lose them.
0
SPEAKER_01
But, um, I don t know.
0
SPEAKER_01
I kind of felt like, like, I don t know.
0
SPEAKER_01
I was just, I was really disrespected a lot and I wasn t the most, I don t know.
0
SPEAKER_01
I wasn t the best guy either.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, but I ve kind of get made fun of a lot and like, I m a pretty big dude and, uh,
0
SPEAKER_01
They d kind of make fun of me for that and say a whole lot of other terrible things.
0
SPEAKER_01
I just felt like I grew out of them.
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
0
SPEAKER_01
Last year, I was on a three-month drug binge, and I was just holding grudges all the time.
0
SPEAKER_01
My friends would kind of do things that slightly annoyed me, I think with the drug use and
0
SPEAKER_01
I just stopped talking to them.
0
SPEAKER_01
I really pushed everyone away, and it led to me having a manic episode.
0
SPEAKER_01
Then I went to a mental hospital, spent about 10 days there.
0
SPEAKER_00
So let me ask you this.
0
SPEAKER_00
When you talk to real therapists about these issues, what do they tell you?
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, Tony has actually had two therapists,
0
SPEAKER_01
We would kind of talk about the present moment and what I m doing at the time.
0
SPEAKER_01
I guess the weird thing about therapy is when you talk to therapists, you re always talking about what s going on in the present time so that you re okay now.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I don t think I really talked about a lot of the crazy stuff that happened in the past, more like just the reason why it happened and how I can understand it.
0
SPEAKER_01
So I guess they just kind of try to help me understand it more.
0
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_00
And has that been successful in helping you understand the past?
0
SPEAKER_01
I understood that, um, I need to be very careful with my life.
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, especially with friends, I ll be honest, man.
0
SPEAKER_01
Like I, uh, I first got high when I was eight years old and it wasn t even my fault.
0
SPEAKER_01
Uh, I didn t even know what I was doing.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um,
0
SPEAKER_01
I found a can of computer duster and I put my mouth on it and some air came out.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I like finished the whole can.
0
SPEAKER_01
And that s when I was eight years old.
0
SPEAKER_01
Getting high off computer duster.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I m surprised I m not dead, dude.
0
SPEAKER_01
Like, just that and smoking weed at 14 has led to a chain reaction of drug abuse and a lot of pain.
0
SPEAKER_01
And it s really tarnished a lot of my relationships.
0
SPEAKER_00
What is your relationship like with drugs now?
0
SPEAKER_01
The only thing I abuse at the moment is Adderall.
0
SPEAKER_01
I have a really bad habit of eating a bunch of Adderall and watching porn for a long time.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but I yeah, yeah No, Adderall Adderall definitely makes it Adderall like taking a bunch of Adderall and jerking off for like an entire day I ve been there before it s uh, it s an intoxicating Combination I m glad you can relate man.
0
SPEAKER_01
I was a little scared to tell you that cuz I was like, ah, dude I m gonna be a gooner man.
0
SPEAKER_01
People are gonna know me as a gooner on the internet forever.
0
SPEAKER_01
You know what I mean?
0
SPEAKER_00
Nah, man, that s- I mean, Adderall, um, I mean, in my experience with Adderall, and I m talking about- and by the way, I m just talking about shit that I don t know what the fuck I m talking about, but it s just you- you and me, two fucking dudes having a chat right here, that s what this is.
0
SPEAKER_00
So, um, for me, Adderall, I felt like it always made me, like, optimistic.
0
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
0
SPEAKER_00
I was going through life in a very depressed mood and Adderall elevates you and makes you think that all your hopes and dreams are possible and then you celebrate that by jacking off for six hours.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s been my experience.
0
SPEAKER_01
Dude, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
You know how it is, man.
0
SPEAKER_01
Last time I did it was Sunday, which was yesterday.
0
SPEAKER_01
The problem with being an addict is you always say one last time.
0
SPEAKER_01
like my last time little I guess like I just I ran out of Adderall so like I can t really do it anymore but it just sucks because like my dopamine is gonna be low as shit and I kind of get anxiety so I m gonna have to wait three months for that to level out but um you know I m not doing cough syrup anymore I hate weed now like I have some edibles in my closet but uh I don t do them because I was actually uh
0
SPEAKER_01
It s going to sound really stupid, but, um, it was kind of a rookie mistake.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, not really a rookie mistake, but I just, people have gone to the emergency room before.
0
SPEAKER_01
I took a shit ton of edibles and drank some cough syrup.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, my heart was beating like super fast and I got scared.
0
SPEAKER_01
So I kind of told my parents about it.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, so yeah, that kind of happened.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I also last, uh, two years ago, uh, I drank a bunch of cough syrup and now my memory is completely shot.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um,
0
SPEAKER_01
I have a hard time cognitively, and I can t even remember last week or what I did yesterday, other than the Adderall.
0
SPEAKER_01
It sucks, dude, because I felt like I could have been really smart, like I could have not really like a genius, but I could have been a bright dude.
0
SPEAKER_01
And just me continuously self-sabotaging and going back into the hole where I m comfortable, it s like,
0
SPEAKER_01
I want to stay there and I never want to get better.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m not really doing good in school right now, but I m not worried about it.
0
SPEAKER_01
I can still pick it up.
0
SPEAKER_01
I also kind of failed college like three or four times.
0
SPEAKER_01
It wasn t the best thing ever, but I m trying.
0
SPEAKER_01
I changed my major.
0
SPEAKER_00
Man, I got a lot of thoughts on what you just said.
0
SPEAKER_00
The first thing is this, like, idea.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like, you re 21 and you ve, like, I don t know why you ve, like, written yourself off as, like, I thought I could be smart and now I m a dumb piece of shit forever.
0
SPEAKER_00
You know, I don t know what it is in your brain That s made you decide that so fight so finitely What is it that you and I know you re talking about like not being good in school, but um, I ve I ve I mean I don t think that school is the ultimate measure of Success and smartness and a human being so I ll ask you this.
0
SPEAKER_00
What is it that you want to do with your life?
0
SPEAKER_00
I
0
SPEAKER_01
I have a lot of interests.
0
SPEAKER_01
There s a lot of things I want to do.
0
SPEAKER_01
In terms of money, I m pursuing cyber security or something tech related.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s my money issue.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s what I m going to do for money.
0
SPEAKER_01
Last year, I discovered I had a creative impulse and I want to write a book.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m writing a book right now.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s based on a couple of conspiracy theories.
0
SPEAKER_01
I draw sometimes.
0
SPEAKER_01
So I guess I just, I want to make money so I can be financially stable and I want to make money so I can like fund my creative passion.
0
SPEAKER_01
Maybe one day I can make money for my creative passion.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, I mean those are both great, man.
0
SPEAKER_00
I guess if, if we can for a second, I want to understand why you have written yourself off as a permanently dumb.
0
SPEAKER_01
I think because I ve been called stupid and retarded a lot by the friends that I kind of grew out of.
0
SPEAKER_01
And it s really tough when, and I guess this is like an old lesson that I kind of
1
SPEAKER_02
learned, but it s really tough to think you re not something when people constantly tell you that you re a certain thing.
1
SPEAKER_02
And, you know, it s like, who gives a shit about what people say?
1
SPEAKER_02
Fuck them.
1
SPEAKER_02
But, uh, it s tough when everything you do around a certain group of friends is like not acceptable and you just feel really stupid.
1
SPEAKER_02
Um, and also the second thing is I kind of just noticed that my memory isn t what it used to be.
1
SPEAKER_02
I mean, Oh yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that s another thing.
1
SPEAKER_02
So I guess I... It s not really smart of me, and I m not really having a growth mindset of being proactive when I m kind of writing myself off like that.
1
SPEAKER_02
I m actually really glad you said that, because now I can... I can do whatever I want.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s just, it s tough, you know?
1
SPEAKER_02
It s tough to kind of get into that spot where you can realize, oh, it doesn t matter what I did in the past.
1
SPEAKER_02
I can get out there and still do shit.
1
SPEAKER_00
Do you have anyone in your life who is supportive of you as a person?
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
I actually, I was alone for a really long time, but I recently reconnected with some friends.
1
SPEAKER_02
And I got some people, you know, like small group of dudes and my family, obviously.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, they re supportive.
1
SPEAKER_02
They re cool people.
1
SPEAKER_02
Can I shout out some people real quick?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you can shout out your friends.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, shout out Evan, Nick.
1
SPEAKER_00
First and last names.
1
SPEAKER_00
You want their socials too?
1
SPEAKER_00
And their socials.
1
SPEAKER_00
Evan, Nick.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, we got Evan, Nikki, Glenny, Bobby, and Gagey.
1
SPEAKER_00
Do you have a friend named Glennie and a friend named Bobby or is this one friend named Glennie Bobby?
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, it s one friend named Glennie Bobby.
1
SPEAKER_02
He s pretty cool.
1
SPEAKER_00
Is that his last name or his first name?
1
SPEAKER_02
No, that s just what we call him.
1
SPEAKER_02
That s what I call him.
1
SPEAKER_02
I call him Glennie Bobby.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well shit man, I mean, how do you know these fellas?
1
SPEAKER_02
We all went to the same middle school.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
So wait, so this is a different group than the group who was, who were being, uh, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
So this is a different group.
1
SPEAKER_02
We all kind of knew each other back then.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
Um, so yeah, different group.
1
SPEAKER_02
Definitely.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, I mean, man, I ll say this, uh,
1
SPEAKER_00
whole thing of like people tell you that you re something it s hard to not believe that you re that thing but like dude at the end of the day like I don t know I think you gotta end up you gotta figure out a way to surmise your own opinions of yourself from within and not relying on other people that goes for positive things too by the way
1
SPEAKER_00
That s not that that s something that people get tripped up about right because if you start You know everyone thinks everyone around you it keeps calling you smart and awesome and amazing, and then you just get your your your Rocks off how by they get your ego boosted by it by what other people Think of you instead of what what the what the ideal.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I don t know I fucking don t I hate talking on here about
1
SPEAKER_00
like what the ideal healthy thing to do is because i don t know because i m trying to figure this shit out myself but like it seems to me that the ideal healthy thing to do is to like whether you know get your idea of who you are from from within and not rely on the opinions of other people both you know uh
1
SPEAKER_00
Believing them when they tell you negative things and believing them when they tell you positive things and just fucking You know believing what you decide to leave about yourself Well, that s cool, man.
1
SPEAKER_00
You re gonna become a hacker.
1
SPEAKER_02
You re gonna hack shit You know what s funny is cyber security is such a broad term.
1
SPEAKER_02
There s a lot of like different shit that goes into it and I I kind of don t know what I want to do.
1
SPEAKER_02
I just I kind of took a step forward and better.
1
SPEAKER_02
I m going for so I
1
SPEAKER_00
Don t know hopefully I can pick something relatively like okay, and I feel like I m good with technology so When I was in fifth grade My friends hacked into my webkinz account and by hacked I meant I told them my password and they logged in And they stole these motherfuckers stole all of my furniture from my webkinz room
1
SPEAKER_00
And it s in their account now.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I m still pissed off about it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Can we do you have the skills to locate the 16 year old Webkinz account and get back in and take my stuff back?
1
SPEAKER_00
Can we do that?
1
SPEAKER_02
No, just a therapy gecko for all the times you ve helped me fall asleep.
1
SPEAKER_02
I sure will.
1
SPEAKER_02
What s the what s the Webkinz name account?
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t even know.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t even I actually don t even remember.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I ll still try to do it.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think my password was like Mario64 or something like that.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s a good password.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, shit, man.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t, I just, I hope if you get it, I genuinely, you seem like a really smart, really good guy.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so I hope, uh, genuinely that if you get anything out of this phone call, it s just whatever you fucking do, dude, don t write yourself off.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s like, it s the, it s the saddest thing to me when other people, when people like write themselves off permanently, especially so, uh, young, because I really, and it s hard.
1
SPEAKER_00
I ve been in the thick of it.
1
SPEAKER_00
I write myself off constantly and it s like,
1
SPEAKER_00
Maybe you do need an outside perspective to tell you that you re cashing in too early by believing that you re going to be dumb forever because you huffed some paint.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, biologically, you have lost some brain cells.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s true.
1
SPEAKER_00
You re going to have to hold the element, but that s fine.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s fine.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s fine.
1
SPEAKER_00
Um... You know, you don t need that many brain cells to function in society.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I m having shitty me- I mean, I have shitty memory.
1
SPEAKER_00
I ve been, like, smoking, uh, fucking pot every day for- for years and, uh... That s why when people- that s why, uh, people tell me their name and I forget it instantly.
1
SPEAKER_00
Um... But whatever, you know, I can still function in society and be a human being and provide value to myself and others.
1
SPEAKER_02
And so can you, goddammit.
1
SPEAKER_02
You re so right.
1
SPEAKER_02
I m so glad the person outside of myself to tell that was the therapy gecko.
1
SPEAKER_00
Johnny, is there anything else that you wanted to talk about or any anything before we go?
1
SPEAKER_02
My name is Johnny Karate.
1
SPEAKER_02
I like sucking cock, swinging rock, sucking dick, and eating clits.
1
SPEAKER_00
Nice.
1
SPEAKER_00
Later on, Johnny Karate.
1
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
1
SPEAKER_00
I love you, Therapy Gecko.
1
SPEAKER_00
Take care.
1
SPEAKER_00
That guy s got some cool hobbies.
1
SPEAKER_00
Hey folks, this is Lyle.
1
SPEAKER_00
I am very excited to announce that I am going back on tour in 2024 to do Therapy Gecko Live all across the country.
1
SPEAKER_00
If you ve never been to one of my live shows before, they are extremely fun, unpredictable, wild evenings that involve a mix of group gecko therapy sessions as well as some material and presentations from myself.
1
SPEAKER_00
And if you ve been to the show before, I have new presentations and will of course be interviewing new people.
1
SPEAKER_00
If you re a fan of the podcast, you re gonna have a great time at the live show, so I hope to see you guys there.
1
SPEAKER_00
Go to therapygeckotour.com or check the link in the episode description for a full list of cities where tickets are available.
1
SPEAKER_00
Also, if you don t see your city on the list of cities, please still click the link and RSVP with your phone number so I can contact you when tickets go on sale for your city because I m going to announce a bunch more dates very soon.
1
SPEAKER_00
Geck bless.
1
SPEAKER_01
Hello.
1
SPEAKER_00
Hey, hey, hey.
1
SPEAKER_00
What s your name?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, this is, this is, this is the Gek.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh shit.
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, you know what?
1
SPEAKER_00
I actually meant to call someone else, but, uh, let s talk.
1
SPEAKER_00
Let s talk.
1
SPEAKER_00
What s up, man?
1
SPEAKER_00
What s your name?
1
SPEAKER_01
Uh, McLovin.
1
SPEAKER_00
McLovin?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_01
What can I do you for?
1
SPEAKER_00
What can I do you for?
1
SPEAKER_01
I am in a creative slump at the moment.
1
SPEAKER_00
Ah, okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
I kind of do YouTube a little bit.
1
SPEAKER_01
And later on down the line, I just, I just kind of quit.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t know how to, sorry, I m kind of nervous.
1
SPEAKER_01
I didn t think I was going to get a call.
1
SPEAKER_00
What kind of YouTube videos do you make?
1
SPEAKER_01
Different, you know, junk, junk videos.
1
SPEAKER_01
I talk about shit I have a video that I made a big rant about a light bulb that uses Wi-Fi.
1
SPEAKER_00
A light bulb that uses Wi-Fi?
1
SPEAKER_00
What kind of light bulb?
2
SPEAKER_00
is this I I don t know it s called micro or some shit micro okay so what what do you mean by junk videos like I just talk about and all that and I m I started doing reviews of games mm-hmm we re just talking about different stuff kind of like a moisture
2
SPEAKER_01
You texted me, actually, and you said, um... You said... What d you say?
2
SPEAKER_01
You said, I used to do crazy experiments.
2
SPEAKER_00
I didn t actually think that was true, so... Rebecca?
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, boy.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m hoping this is because it used to... It was kind of sexual.
2
SPEAKER_00
Is that okay?
2
SPEAKER_01
Uh, what kind of experiments were these?
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, I wanted to see what, um, things will feel good to my penis.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I actually made my name up on Valorant.
2
SPEAKER_00
You probably look it up somewhere.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I stick my, I wanted to see how it felt to stick my penis in, uh, Wendy s Frosties.
2
SPEAKER_01
And how did it feel?
2
SPEAKER_00
It was like a fuckin  uh... Let s see, frostbite.
2
SPEAKER_00
It did not feel great.
2
SPEAKER_00
I had to use fuckin  heat, the heat, just to fuckin  get it out.
2
SPEAKER_00
Directly from the fuckin  vent.
2
SPEAKER_01
What, what do you, like it got stuck in there?
2
SPEAKER_00
It kinda did, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
What flavor frosty was it?
2
SPEAKER_00
Uh... Think it was strawberry.
2
SPEAKER_01
How long did you leave your penis submerged in the frosty?
2
SPEAKER_00
45 minutes.
2
SPEAKER_01
You put your penis in a frosty for 45 minutes.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_00
And that s where the thing came from.
2
SPEAKER_00
I come in Wendy s Frosties.
2
SPEAKER_00
That was my steam name for a long time.
2
SPEAKER_01
So this is a real video that I like if I looked for it on YouTube.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no, no.
2
SPEAKER_00
This ain t a video.
2
SPEAKER_00
This is what I used to do as a kid.
2
SPEAKER_00
There was no videos of it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Wait, oh, oh.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so just when you were a kid, you did weird experiments like this?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay, why did you do it for 45 minutes?
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_00
I forgot about it, kind of.
2
SPEAKER_01
What other experiments did you do?
2
SPEAKER_00
Well... I, uh...
2
SPEAKER_00
Let s see, I wanted to try punang gravy.
2
SPEAKER_00
That wasn t great.
2
SPEAKER_00
There was one time, this is when it kind of stopped, but I used to work at Butterball, the turkey place.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I told my co- Butterball.
2
SPEAKER_00
Butterball.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s a turkey plant.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I ll ask one of my coworkers, hey,
2
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna steal a turkey so I can do an experiment to it real quick.
2
SPEAKER_01
Are you fucking with me right now?
2
SPEAKER_00
No, I m not.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m being deadass.
2
SPEAKER_01
You told your co-worker to make a turkey bowl for you to stick your penis in.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no.
2
SPEAKER_00
I said we re gonna steal a whole turkey, a whole ass turkey, and take it somewhere.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m just gonna see how it feels, and then just throw it away.
2
SPEAKER_01
Is it, I guess, that s like a, that s like bestiality and necrophilia kind of.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, the turkey was dead and it s like skinned and everything.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s what I mean.
2
SPEAKER_00
But that was old me.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t do that shit anymore.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Was it a raw turkey?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
What happened to your penis after you did that?
2
SPEAKER_00
I didn t feel too good.
2
SPEAKER_01
So this is weird.
2
SPEAKER_01
What s the ethics on turkey necrophilia?
2
SPEAKER_01
Because a lot of people eat turkeys.
2
SPEAKER_01
And that s bad.
2
SPEAKER_01
I guess.
2
SPEAKER_01
But well, I guess that s okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
But if you and obviously it s not okay to have sex with a live turkey.
2
SPEAKER_01
But it s okay to kill a turkey.
2
SPEAKER_01
Wiz is it?
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, it s probably I mean, I m leaning towards No, I m leaning towards it s not.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I guess why is it bad?
2
SPEAKER_01
Why can you not fuck a dead turkey but you can eat it?
2
SPEAKER_01
That s a good question.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if it is a good question.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know, yeah, it s not a good question.
2
SPEAKER_00
You re right.
2
SPEAKER_00
You re right.
2
SPEAKER_01
Um, so, uh, is that, is that, is that all of your experiments?
2
SPEAKER_00
That I can think of.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
But about the turkey, I didn t actually get to do it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you didn t actually stick your penis in the turkey?
2
SPEAKER_00
No.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
I mean, that s good.
2
SPEAKER_00
I got fired after it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Why d you get fired?
2
SPEAKER_00
Cause me and my buddy were walking out with it and we both got fired.
2
SPEAKER_01
Um, the person who fired you, they didn t find out what you were actually planning to do with the turkey, did they?
2
SPEAKER_00
Uh, no, I said I was going to give it to my, uh, to my cousin with cancer.
2
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s, I guess that s the opposite of fucking a turkey is giving it to a guy with cancer.
2
SPEAKER_01
yeah I guess the opposite what I guess the opposite of fucking a turkey would be I guess it would be not fucking a turkey but that s not really the opposite that s more just like a absence yeah so you re in a creative rut why are you in a creative rut that was a word creative rut it because I don t feel like my person isn t really good like
2
SPEAKER_00
I guess you just have to keep posting until something happens.
2
SPEAKER_00
Is what some people tell me.
2
SPEAKER_01
What do you- why do you think your content s not good?
2
SPEAKER_00
Uh... I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, you can t- you have this feel- hold on, but you have this feeling right now that is creating a creative rut to you, for you, and you can t even express why you have that feeling?
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, I-
2
SPEAKER_00
I think it s because I ve done it for X amount of like years and then nothing really has grown.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like I ve, I had, I made like three channels and I kind of put down two of them and start a new one.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
What kind of video are you making?
2
SPEAKER_00
Um, well I haven t posted any lately.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s mostly game videos.
2
SPEAKER_00
I made my,
2
SPEAKER_00
I made like a whole video of me streaming, uh, Elden Ring.
2
SPEAKER_00
Then I, like I said, I talk about dumb shit, uh, make reviews for games.
2
SPEAKER_00
Um, I m actually working on a review with a buddy, but it s taking a long time because my computer blew up.
2
SPEAKER_00
So.
2
SPEAKER_01
Let me ask you this.
2
SPEAKER_01
Are you having fun?
2
SPEAKER_01
Are you enjoying making these videos?
2
SPEAKER_00
I did, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Before my computer blew up.
2
SPEAKER_01
You did, before your computer blew up.
2
SPEAKER_01
What do you mean?
2
SPEAKER_00
So, I was making a video, and my screen started stuttering, and all I hear was a rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
Are you having fun making the videos that you re making on the computer you re making them with now?
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, I haven t started yet because I had to do that whole process again of like making sure my sound is good.
2
SPEAKER_00
I ve been trying to work extra hard.
2
SPEAKER_00
I do DoorDash and I work at a different job.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because look I know it s like I know it sounds trite.
2
SPEAKER_01
I know it s what everyone says, but it is true It s like as long as you re having fun with the actual process of making the videos the outcome is irrelevant because all the outcome does is enable you to live in more of the process Kind of the the outcome is a motivator.
2
SPEAKER_01
I guess is a what?
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh, it s a motivator.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it s a motivator.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
It is a motivator.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s a legitimate motivator because you can get addicted to watching videos like blow up and stuff.
3
SPEAKER_02
But at the end of the day, the real motivation should should be just from a simple enjoyment of actually making the videos themselves.
3
SPEAKER_01
OK.
3
SPEAKER_02
And if you re doing that, you re winning, you know.
3
SPEAKER_01
Mm hmm.
3
SPEAKER_01
And there s another thing I m trying to get
3
SPEAKER_01
My brother s 13, we ll call him Johnny.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m trying to get him, you know, not have to work the nine to five and all that bullshit, you know?
3
SPEAKER_01
I want to make a game with him, but I don t know where to start.
3
SPEAKER_02
Do you want to make a game with your 13 year old brother?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
What do you mean?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
I ve already made like a project name.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was a, it was a project that I had an idea for, for a fucking long time.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was over like dreams I ve had of it.
3
SPEAKER_01
And it was a, the project name was called Trigon X. Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so,
3
SPEAKER_01
kind of a little bit like Final Fantasy in a way, but, but still it s going to have its own elements.
3
SPEAKER_02
So you re asking me how to make a video game?
3
SPEAKER_01
No, I guess.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
Dude, I don t know how to make a video game.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well,
3
SPEAKER_01
How would you think we start in a way?
3
SPEAKER_02
I, my answer is you Google how to make a video game.
3
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I don t know, man.
3
SPEAKER_02
There s all these, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like I, I, I m sorry.
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t have any better advice for you other than to look it up.
3
SPEAKER_02
You know, ask chat GPT.
3
SPEAKER_02
Um, by the way, that goes for, by the way, that, that honestly almost certain that kind of goes for anyone.
3
SPEAKER_02
who would ever call into this podcast to ask me anything.
3
SPEAKER_02
It was just, ask ChatGPT, it ll actually give you a way better answer than anything that I will say.
3
SPEAKER_02
Really?
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, 100%.
3
SPEAKER_02
I use chat, I ask ChatGPT about everything.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s great.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m excited for AI to take over humanity because it s kind of better than humanity in some degrees.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s more objective.
3
SPEAKER_01
In a way.
3
SPEAKER_01
But a little scary, in my opinion.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
I ll just, but no matter what, I m just glad that you, you ve evolved beyond sticking your dick in frosties and you re trying to do more productive things.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s, that s what I ve gleaned from this conversation.
3
SPEAKER_02
Uh, McLovin, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
3
SPEAKER_01
Stay safe out there and keep your dreams alive.
3
SPEAKER_02
All right, man.
3
SPEAKER_02
I look forward to catching your game on steam.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Love you.
3
SPEAKER_02
Take care, man.
3
SPEAKER_01
You too.
3
SPEAKER_00
Hi.
3
SPEAKER_02
Hey, what s up man?
3
SPEAKER_00
Um, not much.
3
SPEAKER_02
What s your name?
3
SPEAKER_02
How s it going?
3
SPEAKER_02
I m gonna call you Alex.
3
SPEAKER_00
Hi, uh, you can call me Joe.
3
SPEAKER_02
Okay, I wanted to call you Alex cuz I m gonna forget if I ve learned now cuz I just fuck it I forget everyone s name Because I have some weird form of brain damage I think And I ve noticed that I ll remember people s names better if I give them a name Okay, Alex is good.
3
SPEAKER_02
Do you prefer if you prefer a job?
3
SPEAKER_02
I ll call you Joe
3
SPEAKER_00
Honestly, it s your show.
3
SPEAKER_00
You do whatever you want.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s all good.
3
SPEAKER_02
What I want is for, you know what, I m going to call you Alex.
3
SPEAKER_02
Alex, what s up, man?
3
SPEAKER_02
How can I get you today?
3
SPEAKER_00
It s going pretty good.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I just, I ve been dealing with these sort of intrusive thoughts for a while and I just sort of wanted to talk about it.
3
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_02
What kind of intrusive thoughts?
3
SPEAKER_00
Sort of,
3
SPEAKER_00
intrusive thoughts about harming people.
3
SPEAKER_02
How long have you been doing it?
3
SPEAKER_00
Go ahead.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s been happening like a long time.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m not sure exactly when it started, but it just sort of whenever I have like a negative, like a memory with a negative association to it, I just get these sort of intrusive thoughts where I want to like hurt someone or like I just get
3
SPEAKER_00
It s not comfortable for me, you know?
3
SPEAKER_00
It makes me feel like I could potentially be dangerous to people around me.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s just... I don t know why it happens.
3
SPEAKER_02
Are these intrusive thoughts about hurting specific people or just people?
3
SPEAKER_00
No.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s never anybody specific.
3
SPEAKER_02
Have you ever spoken to a real therapist about this?
3
SPEAKER_02
No.
3
SPEAKER_02
What s preventing you from doing that?
3
SPEAKER_00
I guess I don t really respect Western therapy.
3
SPEAKER_02
Sure.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I empathize with that.
3
SPEAKER_02
No, I empathize with that plight of not respecting Western therapy, but I do think if you really are struggling with this thing where you feel like you might be a potential danger to other people and it s like totally fucking you up, you know, it s within your agency to attempt to do something about it.
3
SPEAKER_02
Right and and and right talking to somebody who maybe you know Look, I m just a dumbass in a gecko costume and I think talking to somebody who actually understands How these thoughts work would be helpful to you and I ve actually been thinking about this because I know that um, you know, a lot of people they just can t afford Therapy, I don t know if you haven t even sure that s definitely part of it.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know, I m not I don t have money do insurance and
3
SPEAKER_00
Not insurance and recovery therapy, no.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I like the idea of just sort of talking to somebody who has more of a clean slate understanding of things just from their own life experience.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t think there s necessarily that much value in the education that a therapist would have.
3
SPEAKER_00
And you got like a 50-50 shot of getting a good one.
3
SPEAKER_02
Sure, I respect those thoughts, but it s still worth it to try.
3
SPEAKER_02
Uh, I m kind of a hypocrite because I ve also, uh, been like kind of avoidant with actual therapy myself.
3
SPEAKER_02
But, um, what the fuck was I going to say?
3
SPEAKER_02
The money thing.
3
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I, I actually, I m going to get back to on this cause I ve actually been thinking about this a lot.
3
SPEAKER_02
Cause there s so many people who like, um, you know, struggle with like, they just can t fucking afford it.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I think that there are resources out there to get it, um, to get real therapy, like, uh, through like a community center or a college or something like that.
3
SPEAKER_00
But, um, yeah, they definitely are.
3
SPEAKER_00
I just, honestly, I just haven t looked into it as it s like,
3
SPEAKER_00
low on my priority list.
3
SPEAKER_00
I wouldn t say it s a crippling thing.
3
SPEAKER_00
And that s really more what I m looking for than an actual, like, sit-down healing therapy.
3
SPEAKER_02
No, no, no, no, no, no.
3
SPEAKER_02
These are not two things.
3
SPEAKER_02
This is not an either-or.
3
SPEAKER_02
This is a... We can do them both.
3
SPEAKER_02
You know what I mean?
3
SPEAKER_02
Like, I m happy to talk to you about this stuff, but you should talk to a real person as well.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Honestly, I think it s just, for me, it s been something that s tough to talk about.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s, like, not something that s really accepted.
3
SPEAKER_00
And it s just, I mean, like, this is the first time I ve ever, like, verbalized this at all.
3
SPEAKER_02
Ever?
3
SPEAKER_02
To anyone?
3
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_02
How old are you?
3
22.
3
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_02
How long have you been having these thoughts?
3
SPEAKER_00
Definitely at least the last few years.
3
SPEAKER_00
I honestly don t know when it started.
3
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_02
You ve never acted on any of these thoughts, have you?
3
SPEAKER_00
No, I have trained a lot of martial arts and I like there have been times where I ve accidentally hurt someone like one time I in wrestling I like seriously hurt somebody s knee and not like
4
SPEAKER_00
Like that s something that I almost had like PTSD from for a while.
4
SPEAKER_00
Just like, like the sound of somebody s knee getting ripped apart.
4
SPEAKER_00
Fucking awful.
4
SPEAKER_01
Holy shit.
4
SPEAKER_01
Was that, was that in high school or college?
4
SPEAKER_00
It was actually afterwards.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was, uh, 21.
4
SPEAKER_00
It was training at a Jiu Jitsu gym, in a wrestling class at a Jiu Jitsu gym.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, but that, did that have anything to do with these, these thoughts that you have?
4
SPEAKER_00
No, it s almost like,
4
SPEAKER_00
It feels like the opposite.
4
SPEAKER_00
When I have a memory of that, it s painful for me.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then I get that same sort of feeling when I have one of these thoughts.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
How often do you have these thoughts?
4
SPEAKER_00
I d at least daily.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, do you, do you notice like specific like stimulus that bring these thoughts on?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like usually if I remember, uh, like it could be anything, but like some sort of memory with a negative association for it will usually trigger that kind of, uh, intrusive thought for me.
4
SPEAKER_01
Hmm.
4
SPEAKER_01
hold on someone strove by uh my apartment blasting music really loudly and you know it s it s triggering some of my intrusive thoughts as well um
4
SPEAKER_01
I I well, okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
Let me I guess let me do this because I really do Think you got to go talk to a real therapist.
4
SPEAKER_01
This is like totally something you got to go talk to a real therapist about but like Okay, hold on
4
SPEAKER_01
But, but like, just like as a dude, it says two dudes on the phone.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, is there any way that is like, how can I help you with this just as two dudes on the phone?
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if there s really anything in particular that I was looking for in terms of help.
4
SPEAKER_00
I just like, I thought that this was a good way to get that out.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like, it s like an anonymous thing.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t actually have to talk to somebody face to face.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay, how do you feel about that?
4
SPEAKER_01
The fact that you re talking about it on an anonymous thing?
4
SPEAKER_00
It feels good to not just have that inside.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s not like saying something magically fixes everything.
4
SPEAKER_01
Right.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I guess I hope it like in talking to me you re kind of understanding that like you if you just let this stuff boil it s just gonna like I don t I do not know I but I don t I don t know you but I don t think that you re like just from talking to you and from like understanding
4
SPEAKER_01
At the most surface fucking level that I could understand like you don t seem as though you re a dangerous person or a threat to other people you know, but you just have these thoughts that are troublesome and these thoughts are making your life more difficult to live and I hope you understand that
4
SPEAKER_01
And I don t know, man, we all have thoughts in our brain that make our lives more difficult to live.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I m no expert in how to deal with those thoughts or get rid of them or anything like that.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I the optimistic part of my brain says that it s possible.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, and so I guess if you leave this conversation with anything, it s I hope an optimism that there exists ways for you to deal with these thoughts so that you don t have to keep living in fear of them.
4
SPEAKER_01
Do you feel that way?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it sort of worries me.
4
SPEAKER_00
I have this sort of subconscious urge in me to commit violence.
4
SPEAKER_00
When I was a kid, I used to fight a lot with my brother, with other people.
4
SPEAKER_00
I like to fight.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s one of the things I like doing.
4
SPEAKER_00
Sometimes, in the context of fighting, it s good to be able to
4
SPEAKER_01
Be violent, but I just worry sometimes that it ll get away from me I m telling you man like I Think I actually I actually think this is good that you like recognize this about yourself because now Before this gets out of hand you have the opportunity to go deal with it.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know and I think you should you should
4
SPEAKER_01
I completely empathize why you feel skeptical about all the methods that people typically use to deal with these kind of things, but I implore you to drop your skepticism and be open-minded.
4
SPEAKER_01
Because it might help.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, shit, you were open-minded enough to call me and talk about this on a podcast in front of a bunch of people.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know, maybe it s just, like,
4
SPEAKER_00
you know, trust to people is hard, you know, like putting my whole self in somebody s hands like that.
4
SPEAKER_00
And you re like saying, here, can you help me with this?
4
SPEAKER_00
It s, it s hard.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like with this sort of anonymous thing, it s just like, we re having a conversation.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s fine.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I, I, um, I, I definitely need to work on, you know, being able to trust somebody with that.
4
SPEAKER_01
Why is, I mean, I guess real therapy is also just kind of having a conversation.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, basically that s what it is.
4
SPEAKER_00
Talking to people helps.
4
SPEAKER_00
I ve talked to my friends sometimes about shit like this, but I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_01
What is, what do your friends say?
4
SPEAKER_00
Uh, about this particularly, I haven t, I haven t mentioned it, but just like, you know, other things like, uh, like me and my friends, we all have our own problems.
4
SPEAKER_00
So we ll, we ll, we ll talk about things.
4
SPEAKER_00
We ll get deep sometimes, but I ve never really,
4
SPEAKER_00
No, never really talked about this.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I mean, like, when I think it, part of it might be from when I was a kid, I like, my brother bullied me a lot.
4
SPEAKER_00
I really hated him for it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
And like, I would, like, I really, really hated him.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I remember being like, eight years old.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I
4
SPEAKER_00
And like, he would just be like, bullying me relentlessly.
4
SPEAKER_00
It was fucking awful.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I just wanted to like, get a knife from the kitchen, go into his room and fucking kill him.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
And like, that was just something that like, every night I would think about when I was like, eight years old.
4
SPEAKER_00
And like, for me, I feel like, like what kept my eight year old self from doing it was fear of consequences more than, um,
4
SPEAKER_00
like any sort of morality.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I think, I mean, I ve never talked about once in my life, but I think that might be a big part of where that sort of violent impulse comes from.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, you feel like you re still holding on to that, to that anger from when you were eight?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Uh, because I, I can t really direct that anger towards my brother anymore.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like I understand, like we were both kids.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s like,
4
SPEAKER_00
But it s not his fault.
4
SPEAKER_00
He s not the same person he was.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m not the same person I was then.
4
SPEAKER_00
But that hatred and anger is still in there.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s just not directed at anybody.
4
SPEAKER_01
So the question becomes like, how do you deal with this hatred and anger that s just in you, that s just like a part of you?
4
SPEAKER_01
How do you deal with it in a healthy way that doesn t involve- I think directing it towards good things.
4
SPEAKER_01
Right.
4
SPEAKER_00
Directing it through exercise and training martial arts and stuff like that has helped me.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s great.
4
SPEAKER_00
But it s still there.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s just like it needs to find out.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if it s possibly
4
SPEAKER_00
get rid of it.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s just part of me.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if it s something that developed or if it s something that was always there, but I think it s just something that you sort of have to live with.
4
SPEAKER_01
So you have found in martial arts and in exercise
5
SPEAKER_01
some form of outlet for these feelings that feels positive yeah well just like getting out the sort of like you can put as much aggression as you want as you want into a barbell you re not gonna hurt it you know like
5
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, I mean, like, martial arts was good, but there, like, there have been a couple of times where, like, I, I hurt somebody on accident with, like, a submission, or, or, like, during wrestling, just something, some weird scramble happens and something pops, and that, like, really gets to me.
5
SPEAKER_01
So it s, like, I have this, like, feeling that I want to hurt at the same time.
5
SPEAKER_01
I know that any time I have hurt somebody, it s been the most awful experience of my life.
5
SPEAKER_01
Mm-hmm.
5
Mm.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, I mean, let me say this.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m glad I m glad I m hopeful that talking about this and being willing to talk about this on, you know, on a fucking podcast.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, I hope it is a catalyst for you to go and talk about it with a professional because it sounds like that would be helpful to you.
5
SPEAKER_01
The one thing another thing that is the whole
5
SPEAKER_01
Like if you say to a therapist that you think about hurting yourself or hurting somebody else, they immediately just throw you in crazy people jail.
5
SPEAKER_00
Um, do not quote me on this because I might be wrong, but go ahead and look it up.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m pretty sure they only do that if you have a plan.
5
SPEAKER_01
You might be right.
5
SPEAKER_00
I do, but I don t, I, I, that s what I think.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m, but I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_00
So don t quote me on that, but I, I don t think that should stop you even.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_01
Um, well, yeah, I ll definitely at least think about it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_01
Please.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s like, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
But I mean, I appreciate you just like listening and talking to me about it, man.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, of course.
5
SPEAKER_00
Um,
5
SPEAKER_00
Joe, Alex, I ll stick with Alex.
5
SPEAKER_00
Alex, is there anything else like with this that just while we re on the phone that you wanted to talk about or that I can help you with or anything like that?
5
SPEAKER_01
I think I
5
SPEAKER_01
No, like the thing that were like the thoughts I had when I was a kid about my brother.
5
SPEAKER_01
That was that was the second thing, but I don t think there s a third thing.
5
Mm hmm.
5
SPEAKER_00
Did it feel like because this is something you ve never talked about.
5
SPEAKER_00
Did it feel good to talk about this, especially in like a like a public forum?
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t know, I don t think it being public or private really makes a difference.
5
SPEAKER_01
OK, did just getting the words out definitely helped.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_00
And again, I hope that you take stock and you re like, okay, it felt good to talk about this and explore this, and that that encourages you to go see a professional.
5
SPEAKER_00
I hear you, man.
5
SPEAKER_00
Even if you re skeptical.
5
SPEAKER_00
Because I guess I don t know what else you re going to do if you re not going to do that.
5
SPEAKER_00
I commend you in the way that you are taking it into your own hands of trying to find positive outlets.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think you should keep doing that, but I don t think those two things are mutually exclusive.
5
SPEAKER_01
For sure.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I think definitely getting some talk to a professional.
5
SPEAKER_01
can help and will help.
5
SPEAKER_00
Um, Alex, is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?
5
SPEAKER_01
Um, I mean, if, if there s anything that you guys feel like makes you different from other people that you re afraid to talk about, uh, if you feel like you re like some, like a broken toy inside or like something happened to you when you were a kid, I mean,
5
SPEAKER_01
Everybody has that there s no there s no perfect person.
5
SPEAKER_01
There s no real sane person Everybody s got a thing that makes them like a little bit fucked up so I mean just for just giving yourself permission to To be flawed is really important.
5
SPEAKER_00
Thanks for calling Alex Thank you
5
SPEAKER_00
I just thought about it, I just, what about those rage rooms?
5
SPEAKER_00
I really wanna go to one of those.
5
SPEAKER_00
You guys know what I m talking about?
5
SPEAKER_00
The rage rooms with like, they just give you a bat and some glasses and you break some plates.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know, I know I told them to go see a real therapist, but I take it back.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think you should take the money and go to a rage room instead.
5
SPEAKER_00
Or like, maybe a batting cage.
5
SPEAKER_00
Darts, no, darts aren t violent enough.
5
SPEAKER_00
You could sit and play Grand Theft Auto for a little bit.
5
SPEAKER_00
That always helps me.
5
SPEAKER_00
Heck, can I get a promo code for a Rage Room?
5
SPEAKER_00
Does anyone listening to this podcast run a local Rage Room that I can get a promo code for?
5
SPEAKER_00
Give it to the people?
5
SPEAKER_00
I wanna go to one.
5
SPEAKER_00
When I was a kid, I used to, my friends and I would go to Goodwill.
5
SPEAKER_00
And we would buy all these, like, little trinkets, like glass trinkets, like the stuff that you got at your grandma s house.
5
SPEAKER_00
And, um... We would go to this empty cul-de-sac, and we would just smash the fucking trinkets.
5
SPEAKER_00
And, uh, that was some of the most fun I ve had in my life.
5
SPEAKER_00
That really gets it out- that really gets it out of you.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if... I don t know, maybe- maybe a rage room is a form of therapy.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, Alex, if you re listening, go to I mean, I m I was joking.
5
SPEAKER_00
You should also you should go to a real therapist.
5
SPEAKER_00
But hey, maybe in the meantime, try a rage room.
5
SPEAKER_00
That could be good.