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Hello.
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Hi, what s your name?
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Uh, my name s John.
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What s up, John?
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How s life?
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Uh, I m living the dream.
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Um, how are you doing, Gek?
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Ooh, what s the dream?
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Oh, I m, uh, I m studying geology right now.
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I, uh, I used to be in the US Army and, uh, I get paid to, uh, look at rocks.
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Has that always been your dream to look at rocks?
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SPEAKER_01
Uh, no.
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Um, not really.
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Um, just to preface, and I don t want to be rude.
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I was esoteric bush in the chat, which you might ve noticed.
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Um, I, uh, have seen many of your, um, edited podcasts, but this was the first live stream that I, uh,
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called in to, and I wanted to talk to you.
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For those who are currently listening to the edited podcast, to give some context, and I don t actually remember why, but I yelled at you.
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You chatted something, and then I yelled at you for what you chatted.
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I forget what you chatted.
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I said something to the effect of, you sound like you re saying something that you re actually saying about yourself.
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Oh, I don t know why I was lying to you.
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I don t know why I yelled at you, but we can, we can move past that.
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Yeah.
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I apologize.
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And I admit no offense.
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I, uh, this was my first live stream.
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Um, I, uh, I wanted to, uh, talk to you about a couple of things.
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Um, mainly substance abuse.
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Uh, and I wanted to tell a story.
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Okay, do you want to tell the story first, or is the substance abuse related to the story?
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I think the substance abuse is preliminary to the story.
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Okay, let s hear it.
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Growing up, my mother was a hoarder, and she was very neglectful of me.
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My father was around, but he worked
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uh, 12 hour shifts.
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He was never around.
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Um, and starting around the age of 12 or 13, she started giving me hydrocodone, uh, unprompted.
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She would just like put a pill in my hand and, um, tell me to take it.
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And, uh, that
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went on for a few months.
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And after a while, I became physically addicted to it.
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And she would entice me to do chores around the house by saying, if you do this, I ll give you a hydro.
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This worked the way up to OxyContin,
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She started giving me oxys around the age of 16.
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Uh, I remember I would, uh, dig through her bag and, uh, she, she had like three bags that she constantly carried with her.
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Uh, she had like two purses and her medicine bag and she had a bag full of medicine.
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Um,
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And she entrusted me with the medicine bag because she never caught me going through it.
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She d caught my father going through it because, um, she would do the same thing to my father.
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Um, and let me know if I m going on too long.
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No, just say whatever you want.
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Um, so, uh,
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I became heavily addicted to opiates at a mid-teenager age.
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I started stealing them from her and dealing them at my high school.
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That s the thing I m actually least proud about.
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I only did that twice.
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Eventually, one day, I OD d.
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Uh, I didn t die.
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Uh, it was a mild OD and, um, I, uh, I remember thinking that I was about to die and I was cool with it.
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Like I wasn t worried.
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I was like, yeah, I m about to die.
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That s fine.
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And then I woke up.
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Uh, that s when I swore off.
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Opiates, I didn t let her give me any more opiates after that.
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I refused them.
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I had seizures.
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After that, I started smoking copious amounts of weed.
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At the age of 18,
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It was about three months after I turned 18.
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I moved in with my older half-brother.
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He was 19 years old when I was born.
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My mother was 41 when she had me.
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I moved in with him.
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He was also abusive, albeit less so and in a different way.
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He was more so physically abusive and I was the only other, uh, really male in that household that posed any threat to him.
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And he would, uh, antagonize me.
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Um, fortunately I was bigger than him, so it was more so just depressing and stressful.
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I, um,
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Moved back to my hometown in Louisiana at the age of 19.
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Stayed there for six months.
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Joined the Army.
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I was in the Army for four years and I became an alcoholic there.
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I became an alcoholic because that s just what you do in the Army.
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I remember I had a
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Military Ball, where I was on flag duty, flag guard, color guard, excuse me, it was color guard, and I was holding the American colors.
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And I was so drunk on returning the colors that I stabbed the spade of the American colors into
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the ceiling above and we had drywall rained down upon us and everybody just laughed because they thought it was just a mistake, but it was actually because I was drunk.
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Um, ever since then I ve, um, struggled with alcoholism.
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I, uh, there was a time where I, uh, was prescribed opiates when I was in the army.
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I took some, and I remembered the way that I felt, and I flushed the rest down the toilet, which I know is not good practice, but it was just immediate.
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It was an immediate reaction.
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Continuing onwards, I am studying college right now.
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Um, this is my last semester.
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Um, and I mean, I guess the main impetus for this story is, um, I had, uh, been single for four years at the age of, um, 26.
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I had a girlfriend, a long-term girlfriend in the army.
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Actually, I had a,
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fiance in the army that I d been with for a year and a half.
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We broke up because her family didn t like me and I was an alcoholic.
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I had a long-term girlfriend, a two-year-long girlfriend whom we broke up with less because of my alcoholism and more because we moved apart.
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Um, I was actually in a good place at that time.
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Uh, I went to college and, uh, for some reason I started freaking, um, to an extreme amount because, um, my very second semester was when COVID began.
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I started college in, um, the, uh, fall semester of 2019.
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And.
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Then COVID began in March of 2020, so on and so forth.
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I ve been single up until that time.
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I met a woman that had been 10 years older than me on Discord on a comedy server that I was absolutely smitten with.
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And this had nothing to do with, um,
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What kind of comedy server?
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Comedy podcast server.
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Okay.
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I don t want to be too specific.
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That s alright.
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Alright, so you met this woman on the... Yeah, and this is all leading up to like basically the most embarrassing moment in my life.
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I...
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I met this woman on a comedy discord server, podcast discord server.
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And, um, I flew out to California to go meet her.
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And, um, the first two days went outstanding.
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We were talking about getting married and this, this is way too soon, but
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It was, how long had you, how long had you been talking?
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How long had you been talking with this woman before you two met?
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About a year.
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Okay.
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It was stupid.
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No, I admit it was very, very stupid and it was foolish on my part, but here s the kicker.
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Um, on the third day when I was supposed to wake up early to, um,
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take an Uber to the airport.
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I woke up and there was sun beaming in through the, uh, like the blinds.
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And I immediately knew I fucked up and it was too late.
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I checked my phone.
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It was five 30.
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530 was the exact minute my flight took off and then I noticed something.
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I had been drinking Bud Light with her the night prior and I was wet and I realized I had pissed myself.
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I pissed myself and I
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I found her awake in her guest room.
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She was furious at me.
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And I spent the rest of the day trying to make amends.
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I cleaned everything up.
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I tried to
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make her dinner, um, I tried to do everything I could.
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And, um, she told me after I basically fixed everything.
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And she said that, um, she was okay with, uh, me and I kind of buried the lead.
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Um, the night prior I, uh,
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I made a, um, she, she like trauma dumped on me.
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And, uh, then I trauma dumped on her and I cried in front of her and she told me that she could never be with me because I cried in front of her.
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Um, so simultaneously I m asking, like, how do I deal with substance abuse and how do I handle.
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like a statement like that.
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Like I, I don t know what to think about it.
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And I don t know how much, I know I have some, a large amount of guilt because I fucked a lot of things up, but her main point wasn t that I got too drunk.
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It was that I cried in front of her.
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Was this- I m sorry, I know that s a lot.
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Hey, man.
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You re all good.
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You re all good.
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Alright.
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Alright.
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This- Was this the first time you d gotten drunk in a long time?
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Uh, at that time?
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Yeah.
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Yeah, I had been sober for a while.
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Um, I remember... She, um...
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picked me up from the airport.
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And the very first thing that we did was we went to a Trader Joe s because I said that I wanted to cook for her.
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I wanted to make her jambalaya.
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And she knew I had been sober for a while.
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And I immediately saw while I was there that she bought like whiskey and like cut water, margarita cut water.
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And I was nervous about it.
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And we got there and she said like, like you re on vacation, let loose.
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And I m not blaming her because ultimately it was my own, um, inability to remain sober.
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Um, but I, uh, I just thought I m going to have a good time.
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And then I, uh, I didn t realize how much of my tolerance I had lost.
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And, um,
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I was an idiot.
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How long ago is this?
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Uh, this was in May of last year.
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May of last year.
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Okay.
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So about May, 2022, 2023.
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Okay.
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Um, and you re 27, right?
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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Um,
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So you said, how do I deal with that statement?
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Right?
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Yeah, that and it s a two part combination because I know I told you my little backstory.
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I, in combination, I don t know how to handle moving on past that statement and I don t know how to handle
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a life remaining sober again.
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whole other issue that I certainly do not have a full answer for.
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But I m down to talk about it.
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I m down to talk about it with you.
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But let s start with the first one.
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And you said, how do I deal with that statement?
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So I mean, I have a ton of thoughts about that statement.
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But first, I want to understand
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your interpretation i want to understand how that made you feel and when and and she and this is you know many months ago and it still sounds it still stings and you re still embarrassed by it and you still
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I still feel it.
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And before I give you my thoughts, I want to know why and I want to know what your reactions to that statement are about her saying that she couldn t love you because you cried.
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I would say at first it made me feel worthless.
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It made me feel like I could never... It was always a fear of mine.
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Yeah.
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I, like my ex-fiance, I had a long-term girlfriend.
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I cried in front of both of them and they never brought it up.
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But I was always scared that they viewed me lesser because of it.
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And I m, I m not some stalwart bastion of masculinity.
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Like I, I know when to
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hold down the fort for lack of a better term, but like, I, to me, that s part of a relationship is that you can be emotional with one another.
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And, um, I was always scared that you couldn t be
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because you were viewed as being non-masculine.
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But no, I, um, so that was always a fear of mine.
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It was just a lingering fear.
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And no woman had ever mentioned that to me.
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And then suddenly, uh, um, I know it sounds weird, but this woman was much older than me and she was very attractive.
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And she was like in, um,
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She wasn t famous herself, but she was friends with celebrities.
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I know that sounds stupid, but she was prestigious.
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And she had taken a liking to me.
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And I had such a high regard for her that when I heard her say that, it just totally demolished my self-worth.
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Um, almost a year from now, I realized that no, no, she, uh, she s not a good person because I ve seen other instances of her behavior harming others, but it s still lingering, you know?
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Hey folks, this is Lyle.
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I am very excited to announce that I am going back on tour in 2024 to do Therapy Gecko Live all across the country.
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If you ve never been to one of my live shows before, they are extremely fun, unpredictable, wild evenings that involve a mix of group gecko therapy sessions as well as some material and presentations from myself.
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And if you ve been to the show before, I have new presentations and will of course be interviewing new people.
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If you re a fan of the podcast, you re gonna have a great time at the live show, so I hope to see you guys there.
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Go to therapygeckotour.com or check the link in the episode description for a full list of cities where tickets are available.
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Also, if you don t see your city on the list of cities, please still click the link and RSVP with your phone number so I can contact you when tickets go on sale for your city, because I m going to announce a bunch more dates very soon.
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Geck bless.
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John, I have so much that I want to say, and I m trying to find the right way to properly express it to you.
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First and foremost,
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in a relationship, like a, like especially somebody who is like, Hey, let s fucking get married.
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Yeah.
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Um, you know, if you re gonna, if you re, if somebody loves you, you know, that, that sharing of, of your emotions purely and openly is
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necessary you know this idea that you re in a relationship with somebody that you love and you trust and they re your person and you can t cry in front of them that s wild that s wild and I don t know what s up with this woman I don t know why she said that to you and I think it s mean it s really mean to goad somebody
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into an emotional exchange and then look down upon them for opening up.
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And I think in a relationship, you try as hard as you can to be open and vulnerable emotionally.
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And the idea that you would
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try to hide that from somebody who claims they love you is wild man and so I know that this is not gonna be a band-aid but if you re asking me
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I just want you to rewire your brain to unlearn whatever low self-esteem this woman has given you, because it s from a... It s not from a real place.
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Do you know what I m saying?
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Yeah, I, um...
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I think that if I had- You shouldn t ever feel like you can t cry or like you can t- Life is so fucking short, John.
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You shouldn t ever feel like you- I agree.
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Like you can t express yourself.
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Like you can t express your emotions to somebody that you love and trust.
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And if you feel like you can t, then that person... doesn t love you.
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You know?
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Right.
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I...
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No, I, I don t know.
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And, and, and that s not, and John and John and, and please, please, if you can get anything out of this phone call, like dude, please don t.
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I don t know if this is how you re thinking, but please don t let this be a knock.
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to your self-esteem.
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Please don t run around thinking, oh, I m not a man because I cried.
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Or, oh, I fucked that up.
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You know?
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Or, or, don t, like, just don t, I, I, do you, I don t know if you, I don t know if that s how you re feeling, but just like, and I don t, I don t, I don t know if I can get you to not feel that way by saying this, but like, don t feel that way.
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I, I understand where you re coming from and I agree with you, but there s like a,
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difference between like Knowing something and realizing something.
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What do you mean?
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Well, what does that mean?
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like I know in my heart of hearts that I m not lesser because of that but like I don t Realize that like I still feel lesser than and
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It s hard getting, that s been the hardest thing in my life.
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Like I, I ve mentioned it, like I know alcohol is bad for me.
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I know I should quit drinking, but getting to that point where like I m capable of realizing that it s just so difficult because I,
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Can make excuses so do it I mean do me a favor for a second if we take the alcohol out of it And we just focus on like the self-esteem part.
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Why do you feel lesser than I?
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SPEAKER_00
Don t Because I had invested so much in her uh-huh I and This sounds stupid She was one of the only
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organic relationships that I had.
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And what I mean by that is that even though we had met online, it wasn t through a dating app.
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Practically every woman I ve been with has been through a dating app.
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This was just a woman who liked me.
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Okay, so let me ask you this.
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And you know, there s no shame in this answer, whatever it is, if you want to share it.
3
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But why do you feel like you invested so heavily in this woman?
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What were you, what was driving that investment?
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What did you feel like she was gonna help you with or fill in your life that caused you to invest so heavily?
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I thought that because she was older than me, I would somehow feel compelled to get my shit together.
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Yeah, and and this sounds stupid but I Knew that she had wanted kids and she was 36.
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I was 26 and I thought well If I m gonna be with this woman, I have to get my shit together now and I was thinking that well, I
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If I invest myself in this woman, I could have some reason to live very soon, which I know sounds silly.
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So, John, I want to stop you real quick, because you keep saying, this sounds stupid, this sounds silly, and when you say that stuff,
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A lot of the- a major theme- I m playing armchair therapist.
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A major theme I m picking up in our conversation is this, like, shame over vulnerability, right?
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Like, you- like, especially, like, you know, you shared yourself to this woman and she called you out for crying.
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And that causes like, oh, I feel ashamed of feeling this way.
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And so you, you, you like preamble your statements by, I know this sounds silly.
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I know this sounds stupid.
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Um, cause you re like, and I just want, I just want to tell you, and I don t, I just want to tell you, you don t have to feel.
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ashamed of your feelings.
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This is just your truth, man.
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You know what I mean?
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This is your truth.
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It is what it is.
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You can be open about it.
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You can share it without having to hate yourself for having felt the way that you felt.
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You don t have to hate yourself.
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You don t have to think you suck because you
3
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Felt this way, you know, so you don t have to keep saying this sounds silly.
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This sounds stupid.
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I know it s ridiculous It s just the truth man.
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This is how you Felt and you don t have to beat yourself up about it No, like when I was a kid like when I ve gotten better about doing this individually like I Would always say that I m sorry.
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I
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Like, I would say, I m sorry for, like, somebody would say, oh, like, I missed lunch.
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And I would say, I m sorry.
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Or like, somebody would say, like, oh, you misunderstood me.
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I m sorry.
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So I think I ve stopped doing that.
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And I think that s been the natural evolution of that.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s just like, I preclude all of my statements by saying, like,
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I, I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, I just don t feel like my feelings are legitimate and, um, that I, uh, should be more intellectual.
3
SPEAKER_00
I, I, I think I, I don t want to sound autistic as shit, but it s just like, I tried to function entirely like intellectually.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I just forget that like I have feelings and like when I have feelings that counteract what I know, I, I just, I preamble.
3
SPEAKER_01
So, so, I mean, so, okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
So just to go back to like, um, you felt an investment in this woman because you felt like it would compel you to get your shit together.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um,
3
SPEAKER_01
Listen, man.
3
SPEAKER_01
Here s the thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m no addiction specialist.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m a dude in a gecko costume.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know anything about any of this shit, about the psychology of it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I have a pretty solid gander of the idea.
3
SPEAKER_01
And by the way, I m no master at understanding this concept.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m really not.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I know it s there.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I know it s proven itself to be there time and time again in my own life.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I m sure everyone knows what I m talking about.
3
SPEAKER_01
But getting your you re never, you re never going to be compelled to get your shit.
3
SPEAKER_01
Relying on other people.
3
SPEAKER_01
Right?
3
SPEAKER_01
To get your shit together.
3
SPEAKER_01
Is
3
SPEAKER_01
It s not going to work.
3
SPEAKER_01
Even if they re great, you know, I mean, other people can be helpful, but at the end of the day, you know, you, you, you, you re responsible for like solving your own problems.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so, and so all this stuff, and I think all this stuff is good because it puts the agency back in your hands.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I hope you understand that and I hope you feel empowered by that because the agency is back in your hands, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
Nothing that this woman has said or done to you can stop you from getting your own life together.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, right.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re right.
3
SPEAKER_01
And you should feel really good about having that agency in your, in your hands.
3
SPEAKER_01
You should feel happy about that.
3
SPEAKER_01
And you should feel optimistic about that.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Do you know?
3
SPEAKER_00
I, I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
Let me ask you this.
3
SPEAKER_01
How often are you drinking these days?
3
SPEAKER_01
And by the way, I don t know shit about alcoholism and all this stuff, but I m down to talk it through with you a little bit.
3
SPEAKER_01
How often are you drinking?
3
SPEAKER_00
Every other day.
3
SPEAKER_01
You ever been to AA?
3
SPEAKER_00
No.
3
SPEAKER_01
You never been to AA?
3
SPEAKER_00
No.
3
SPEAKER_01
You should go to AA.
3
SPEAKER_01
I ve been to, I ve been to, um, I ve been to OA before.
3
SPEAKER_01
I ve been to a few A s.
3
SPEAKER_01
And, um, they re, they re, they re, they re good stuff.
3
SPEAKER_01
You should give it a try.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I ve just always been kind of weary about the, like, culty,
3
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no, no, no, it s really, I m not fucking religious.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, it s not particularly, it s not like religious or anything.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s really just a room full of people who have the same problem as you, which is incredibly helpful.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, man.
3
SPEAKER_00
No, I m sorry.
3
SPEAKER_00
I know I ve dragged on my call for way too long.
3
SPEAKER_01
John, you re all good.
3
SPEAKER_01
If I wanted to hang up on you, I would have, but I ve been enjoying talking to you about this stuff.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, thank you.
3
SPEAKER_00
Before I go, can I tell a mildly inappropriate story from the army?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
I guess I just, before you do that, I don t know, man.
3
SPEAKER_01
I know I m not a real therapist and I know that one phone call is not going to change your life, but like, dude, is there any,
3
SPEAKER_01
thing else in this situation that you wanted to talk through or any other way like I can, I can just as an, as another human being on the earth, I can, can be helpful to you over the phone.
3
SPEAKER_00
Uh, there s an additional aspect to this story that I don t feel comfortable talking about on like a live stream.
3
SPEAKER_00
Uh, I ll let you take that as you will.
3
SPEAKER_00
And that was in conjunction with that woman.
3
SPEAKER_00
She trauma dumped on me.
3
SPEAKER_00
I trauma dumped on her.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ll let you guess what I dumped on her because I didn t mention it.
4
SPEAKER_01
I am mostly okay now Mainly because my mother is dead So I That was like a lot of release of tension Beyond that
4
SPEAKER_01
Uh, I don t know, you know, would you, and I ll just, I don t wanna, I don t wanna keep bothering you.
4
SPEAKER_02
I really don t.
4
SPEAKER_02
Um,
4
SPEAKER_02
I have a lot of, by the way, I just want you to know, tying back into the theme of, or one of the themes of this whole call is I appreciate you being open and honest and vulnerable about all this stuff, and I don t think you should stop doing that, and I don t think you should feel shamed for doing that.
4
SPEAKER_02
But I want to ask you this, and I won t bother you again about it, but...
4
SPEAKER_02
Would you consider, you know, seeing a specialist of some kind or at least going to AA or doing, like making some kind of, you saw a specialist?
4
SPEAKER_01
I saw a specialist.
4
SPEAKER_01
I saw like four while I was in the army.
4
SPEAKER_01
The only guy that actually helped me out at all was a dude that
4
SPEAKER_01
He admitted to doing acid to me.
4
SPEAKER_01
What?
4
SPEAKER_01
No, he was a therapist and he was like, I ve done acid.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, I ve done acid too.
4
SPEAKER_01
And we talked about it at length.
4
SPEAKER_01
And we just talked about being on acid for an entire first meeting.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then I trusted him entirely after that.
4
SPEAKER_02
Um, was he helpful in helping you with the alcohol?
4
SPEAKER_01
Uh, it was actually less extreme at that point.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I wasn t open about my alcoholism while I was in the army because being open about alcoholism in the army, I, I had a clearance.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t want to say what kind, but if I had even mentioned having, you know, like a clearance.
4
SPEAKER_01
Mentioning alcoholism I would have lost my job So I never talked about it So well I m rooting for you, man.
4
SPEAKER_02
Whatever you decide to do.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m rooting for you Yeah, well, I don t know I Well, thanks, man.
4
SPEAKER_01
I know I probably took up a significant amount of your
4
SPEAKER_01
Podcast time.
4
SPEAKER_02
Nah, I don t give a fuck.
4
SPEAKER_02
What was anyone else going to talk about?
4
SPEAKER_02
You know, someone is you, you re, I would rather listen to you than someone telling me about, you know, pooping their pants for the 30th fucking time.
4
SPEAKER_02
So you re no apologies necessary.
4
SPEAKER_02
Um, I, do you, you wanted to tell a story real quick before we go?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s mildly inappropriate.
4
SPEAKER_01
You can just hang up on me if, uh,
4
SPEAKER_01
It s like, it s nothing gory or violent.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s funny and shameful.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, uh, when I was in the army, I, uh, I was an officer s driver.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was 20 years old and I was, um, driving this captain around like for, uh, three weeks straight.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was never out of sight.
4
SPEAKER_01
And, um,
4
SPEAKER_01
I eventually, after two weeks being a nubile 20 year old, I, uh, my balls started to hurt really fucking bad from like lack of use and, uh, driving a Humvee because I had barely any cushioning and I was sitting down all the time.
4
SPEAKER_01
Uh, stop me if I m.
4
SPEAKER_01
going in a weird direction.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s just a funny anonymous story.
4
SPEAKER_02
Go ahead and finish.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, so I decide that I had, I had to jerk off.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like it wasn t a matter of like pleasure.
4
SPEAKER_01
It was like a biological necessity cause it hurts so fucking bad.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I lied to this captain.
4
SPEAKER_01
I told him I was going to go take a shit behind a sand dune.
4
SPEAKER_01
In reality, I walked out like 200 meters and I walked out behind the sand dune in the deserts of El Paso.
4
SPEAKER_01
I sat down and found this perfect shrine of sin.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I rubbed one out, I squeezed my hog.
4
SPEAKER_01
And as soon as I was done, the sound registered to me like a fucking lawnmower.
4
SPEAKER_01
and I pull up my trousers real quick and I do a 360 in search of the sound, no avail.
4
SPEAKER_01
I can t find it.
4
SPEAKER_01
I give up and I go back to my little come throne.
4
SPEAKER_01
I sit back down and I sit down.
4
SPEAKER_01
I look up.
4
SPEAKER_01
There s a quad copter up there with its camera pointed directly at me.
4
SPEAKER_01
So,
4
SPEAKER_01
Somewhere in the government archives is a drone video of me jacking off in the middle of the desert.
4
SPEAKER_02
John, I think, um, I think you should write a memoir, man.
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, thank you.
4
SPEAKER_01
I, uh, I, uh,
4
SPEAKER_01
I hope that story wasn t too inappropriate.
4
SPEAKER_02
No, that story was perfect.
4
SPEAKER_02
Thank you for sharing that.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay, well, thank you for your time, Geck.
4
SPEAKER_01
This is my first time tuning into one of your streams.
4
SPEAKER_01
I hope you have a good rest of your day.
4
SPEAKER_02
You too, man.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m sorry I yelled at you in the chat earlier.
4
SPEAKER_01
Nah, it s fine.
4
SPEAKER_01
I criticized you.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s okay.
4
SPEAKER_02
Take care, John, and good luck.
4
SPEAKER_01
All right, have a good one.
4
SPEAKER_01
Goodbye.
4
SPEAKER_02
Man, jerking off in the middle of the desert, huh?
4
SPEAKER_02
I ve jerked off in the middle of a field before.
4
SPEAKER_02
But never a desert.
4
SPEAKER_02
Maybe I should try that.
4
SPEAKER_02
I hope I hope I hope that after that 45 minute phone call, that s not what I that s not like the only thing that I picked up, you know.
4
SPEAKER_02
I would hope
4
SPEAKER_02
I would hope that I, uh, thought about... I would hope I got better takeaways from that phone call.
4
SPEAKER_02
I would hope we all got better takeaways from that phone call than I should jerk off in the desert.
4
SPEAKER_02
But you know what?
4
SPEAKER_02
If that s all you got, that s fine too.
4
SPEAKER_00
Hello?
4
SPEAKER_02
Hey, what s up?
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, hey.
4
SPEAKER_00
How s it going?
4
SPEAKER_02
I m gonna call you John.
4
SPEAKER_02
John!
4
SPEAKER_00
Hey.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s me, John.
4
SPEAKER_02
Would you wanna- would you wanna talk about today, dawg?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so I wrote, I ve, uh, you know, I ve done, you know, some drugs here and there in my life, and, you know, I pretty much got past the- the heavy phase and all that stuff, and I m, you know, older now.
4
SPEAKER_00
But occasionally I, you know, look online and get some- something different.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I don t know what came over me, but I decided to
4
SPEAKER_00
try steroids.
4
SPEAKER_00
And just on a whim.
4
SPEAKER_00
So they re like, it s a mild one.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s oral.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I started taking it five days ago.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t work out.
4
SPEAKER_00
I eat junk food.
4
SPEAKER_00
I drink too much.
4
SPEAKER_00
Just to see what would happen.
4
SPEAKER_00
Is that weird?
4
SPEAKER_00
Like I m wondering, like, should I be concerned?
4
SPEAKER_02
You started taking steroids just for no reason?
4
SPEAKER_00
Kind of.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was like, will I get kind of ripped or whatever just by doing nothing and sitting around?
4
SPEAKER_02
Did that work?
4
SPEAKER_00
It s only been like five days and honestly, like, I can feel like a difference for sure, but it s not like super visible or anything.
4
SPEAKER_02
Do you anticipate any side effects to doing this?
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I ve read about some, you know, you can, you know, uh, can, you know, your, your, your balls can get small.
4
SPEAKER_00
You can, you know, like have a.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know, get angry or whatever.
5
SPEAKER_01
But, you know, I haven t noticed anything.
5
SPEAKER_00
How long do you intend to do this for?
5
SPEAKER_01
30 days.
5
SPEAKER_00
Why did you pick 30 days?
5
SPEAKER_01
I looked online.
5
SPEAKER_01
I guess some people do it for a while and then they stop.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like, if you just do this all the time, it can be really fucked up.
5
SPEAKER_01
So I m just going to give it a little shot.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you, are you afraid of anything that might happen to your body as a result of this test?
5
SPEAKER_01
I m not too afraid, I was just kind of wondering if you or a chat knew of like anything else, because I m not too scared, but like shit, like it s kind of weird.
5
SPEAKER_00
You re asking me, a gecko on the internet, if I know about any health, negative health effects that might come as a result of you taking steroids for no fucking reason.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and fair enough, I m not shooting, like, you know, that s like, I draw a hard line there, but like, you know, they re like mild, mild, mild oral steroids.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, if you asked me my professional opinion, I would say that s probably not a good idea to do that.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, right.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, yeah, though, this might be one of the stupidest things I ve ever heard.
5
SPEAKER_01
Fuck, I just spit out my drink.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s pretty funny.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, this might be one of the stupid, and you know me, I ve heard a lot of stupid things, and this is up there, this is one of the stupidest things I ve ever heard.
5
SPEAKER_00
Why are you doing this?
5
SPEAKER_00
It said, you texted me, no, no, no, hold on, don t even ask me that.
5
SPEAKER_00
You texted me, you said, I started taking steroids because I thought it would be funny.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I just like, you know, what happens if you do nothing?
5
SPEAKER_01
You just keep like, you know, being kind of a piece of shit and like eating whatever.
5
SPEAKER_01
And like, would it make an effect?
5
SPEAKER_01
Like, would it have a difference?
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_00
This is so dumb.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_00
This is the dumbest thing ever.
5
SPEAKER_00
So you re just trying to get it.
5
SPEAKER_00
You re trying to get in shape.
5
SPEAKER_00
You re trying to change your body, trying to lose weight and get in shape.
5
SPEAKER_01
Just to see if it would make an effect, I guess.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, it s gonna make an effect.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s gonna make your dick smaller.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s gonna make you irritable.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s gonna be bad.
5
SPEAKER_00
Why don t you just... Why don t you fuckin  just eat some lettuce and go to the gym instead of taking steroids for no reason?
5
SPEAKER_01
That s probably a much better idea.
5
SPEAKER_01
Fair enough.
5
SPEAKER_00
Don t do the 30 days.
5
SPEAKER_00
Are you gonna do the 30 days?
5
SPEAKER_01
You got me second-guessing it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay, good.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m glad that I ve achieved the effect for you.
5
SPEAKER_00
yeah um oh god what is that oh jesus christ uh you know what do it i do it why not see what happens be a human guinea pig oh you know what all right you know you got me there okay yeah you know maybe i will get no i m just
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay, good, Jesus Christ.
5
SPEAKER_00
What s your, John?
5
SPEAKER_00
John, oh man, where do you even get these steroids from?
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you know, the chat knows where to get them.
5
SPEAKER_01
Whatever you name it, you know where it s at.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, John, okay, if this phone call has resulted in you not doing this, I m happy that we did it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Excellent.
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, very well, man.
5
SPEAKER_00
So anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?
5
SPEAKER_01
I love you, Lyle.
5
SPEAKER_00
I love you, too.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I don t say that very often because it feels weird, but I ll say it to you if it ll get you to stop doing the stupidest thing I ve ever heard of anyone doing.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m glad that I ve reached some kind of peak for you.
5
SPEAKER_00
Take care, man.
5
SPEAKER_00
You too.
5
SPEAKER_01
He s taking your phone calls every night.
5
SPEAKER_01
Therapy kit goes to his right.
5
SPEAKER_01
He s teaching you how to live your life.
5
SPEAKER_01
But he s not really an expert.