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A new season of Bridgerton is here.
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And with it, a new season of Bridgerton, the official podcast.
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I m your host, Gabby Collins.
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And this season, we are bringing fans even deeper into the ton.
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Watch season three of the Shondaland series on Netflix.
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Then fall in love all over again by listening to Bridgerton, the official podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Subscribe to catch a new episode every Thursday.
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Hey everyone, this is Molly and Matt, and we re the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.
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It s a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting.
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Like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.
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Let s learn about all of it and then some.
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Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on America s number one podcast network, iHeart.
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Open your free iHeart app and search Grown Up Stuff.
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Guess what, Will?
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What s that, Mango?
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I ve been trying to write a promo for our podcast, Part-Time Genius, but even though we ve done over 250 episodes, we don t really talk about murders or cults.
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I mean, we did just cover the Illuminati of cheese, so I feel like that makes us pretty edgy.
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We also solve mysteries like how Chinese is your Chinese food and how do dollar stores make money?
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And then, of course, can you game a dog show?
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So what you re saying is everyone should be listening.
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Listen to Part-Time Genius on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Hey everyone, I m so excited because we re going to be adding a really special offering onto the back of my solo episodes on Fridays.
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The Daily J is a daily series on Calm and it s meant to inspire you while outlining tools and techniques to live a more mindful, stress-free life.
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We dive into a range of topics and the best part is, each episode is only 7 minutes long, so you can incorporate it into your schedule no matter how busy you are.
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As a dedicated part of the On Purpose community, I wanted to do something special for you this year.
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So I ll be playing a handpicked Daily J during each of my Friday podcasts.
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This week I m sharing an inspiring story that motivates me and hopefully can motivate you too.
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Of course, if you want to listen to the Daily J every day, you can go subscribe to Calm.
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So go to calm.com forward slash J for 40% off your membership today.
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Oh my gosh, you know, obviously Burning in Hell is a mental health comedy podcast, and we have a lot of hilarious comedians on, we have a lot of insightful people, but we have never had a man...
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who was a monk.
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And he s been everywhere.
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And now he s finally, you know, hit the top.
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He s come to burning in hell.
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He s found the Mecca of mental health.
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Welcome Jay Shetty to the pod.
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Thank you so much for having me.
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I m so glad that I get to be with you today, honestly.
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Thank you.
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You have very good energy.
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Thank you.
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Cause you never know.
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So I was, I thought I might be intimidated by you.
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Like he s all knowing he s, he s also very famous.
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There s like a lot of things that could be intimidating, but you kind of, you have a very warm, warm energy.
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That means the world to me.
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That s, that s the best thing I could have had today.
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So yeah.
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Cause I m like, do people just like him cause he has blue eyes or is he actually, you know, I mean you are on this book tour and you sent it to me, the eight rules of love.
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Yes.
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And you re married.
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Yes.
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Which I kind of love because there s a lot of like dating, you know, people out there and they ve like never had a relationship before.
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But I like that your book is not only like your teachings and your research over the years, but you also say a little bit more about yourself.
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So what I want to bring into this podcast today, because I feel like you have so much amazing knowledge everywhere, is to get to know you a little more, get to know your hell a little bit, and that you ve been through.
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Why have I not been asked to become a monk yet?
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Like, how do you get into the monk ship?
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How did you get in?
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Because no one s, I m not on the email list.
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Yeah, yeah.
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You didn t, you didn t get the memo?
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No.
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No, you haven t subscribed?
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No, I didn t swipe up.
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Yeah, no.
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And it s, for me, it was the same.
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It was,
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I met a monk for the first time, his name is Goranga Das.
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I met him when I was 18 years old.
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And I met him because you still had to go to events to meet people because there was no YouTube, podcasts, you know, it was a while ago.
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And so I would go to events.
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I d love hearing from CEOs and athletes and musicians about their rags to riches stories.
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And I wasn t fascinated by
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the rags and the riches, I was fascinated by what you re fascinated about here, like people s challenges and their mindset and how they got there.
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And one night my friend said to me, hey, we should go and hear this monk speak.
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And I said to them, I said, well, what am I going to learn from a monk?
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I m fascinated by people who ve gone from nothing to something, not nothing to nothing.
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Like what am I going to learn from this guy?
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And they said, no, we should go.
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And I said, okay, I ll only go if we go to a bar afterwards.
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That was my negotiation tactic to prove how spiritual I am.
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That s what I was like as an 18 year old.
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And my friends were highly convincing.
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They said, yeah, sure, sure, sure.
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We ll go to a bar afterwards.
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And so I went to this event and I went there with very low expectations.
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I thought I was going to walk in, walk out.
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We re going to hit up this bar.
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And I walked there and I found something I wasn t looking for.
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I wasn t looking for spirituality, I wasn t looking for meditation, I wasn t looking for well-being.
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And the way this monk spoke, he was talking about how serving others with your skills
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is the purpose of human life.
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Using your gifts to impact and help other people is what we re meant to do.
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And I d never heard that before.
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So 18 year old me stayed behind, wanted to shake his hand, like meet him.
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I ended up traveling with him that whole week in London, going to all his events.
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Then I spent all my summer vacations and Christmas vacations traveling to India to live with him.
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in the monastery, and then when I graduated, I lived as a monk for three years.
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And so it was a very long journey of spending time with this one monk, to then spending time with the monks, to then actually living as a monk.
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Sorry, that s the quick version.
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No, that was beautiful.
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And where were you based when you were in India?
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Two hours outside of Mumbai.
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And then we traveled across Europe as well, so we d live at different... And where were you living when you were with your friends and stuff?
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I was in London, so I went to university.
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In London town!
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I m from London.
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I m from London, yeah.
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Born and raised in London, yeah.
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Very cool.
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And I also feel like you ve transcended traditional monkship, what we think it is, which is honestly not relatable.
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And you ve put it in this such like, like even your book, like you talk about boys and stuff, and it s the kind of stuff that we, information that we could retain.
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So you kind of have figured out how to talk about love, but what s, did you, when you re a monk, right?
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No, you re not, definitely not.
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So you re like a celibate.
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You re celibate.
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And you don t talk to, well, for me, the opposite sex, but you don t talk to,
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the sex that you re attracted to.
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So I m completely living a celibate life.
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I haven t spoken to a woman for those three years.
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And the point isn t repression or suppression.
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The point is to redirect your energy.
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And I always like to clarify that because a lot of people think that monks think like, oh, women are bad or this and that.
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It s not that.
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It s actually a side of, can I dedicate my mind to mastering my mind?
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Like, can I focus on that?
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We do like really hot showers.
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So people think we re connected to Satan sometimes as women.
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SPEAKER_05
Oh yeah, got it.
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We did cold showers in monks for that reason.
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Oh my god!
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There you go.
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You know, they do say the cold shower thing, like, gets your mind right, but I m like, life is too short.
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That was the original cold place.
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We were taking cold showers, like, that was a normal part of life.
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And yeah, it was just, what I found that I got from that experience is, from age 14, which is when I started dating, till age 21, I don t think I ever had a gap between seeing someone or meeting someone or being with someone or flirting with someone.
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We love attention.
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your teen years you re like constantly moving relationship to relationship to relationship and those three years and if you think about it even for yourself maybe or anyone who s listening how many days have you actually spent not in the pursuit of someone or not being pursued by someone in your entire life?
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It s such a drug.
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It s very little time.
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And it s so mental.
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It s so mental.
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Because I always say like I m a creative genius as in give me anyone and in my head I will make up something that I want like put them on any pedestal because having a crush is like
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Like, gives you a purpose.
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Oh my gosh.
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Gives you a purpose, I love that.
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I hate to have to like, waking up in the morning is easier when you re like, I hope I run into Jeremy at the cooler, you know?
0
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Well, I ran into my first crush, I still remember, I was like 11 years old.
0
SPEAKER_05
How old were you when you had your first crush?
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Oh, I was assertive from a young age.
0
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Cool, yeah, it took me till 11, so I was the late bloomer by your standards.
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But I remember having this crush and every guy in school had a crush on this girl.
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And I was overweight growing up, I was also
0
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pretty much one of the only Indians in my whole class.
0
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And so I got bullied a lot for both of those things.
0
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And so I remember turning up to school late one day and everyone in the class was laughing at me and pointing and giggling and I was like, what do they know?
0
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And then I got a little slip from one of my friends and I opened it up, when you used to send notes in class when you couldn t text, and I opened it up and it said, she knows.
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And I was like, she knows what?
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And so basically everyone in class had told the one girl that everyone had a crush on that only I had a crush on her.
1
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And so for the rest of the day all the girls stood behind like in the playground in class and were just shouting like, you re not in her league, she s out of your league.
1
SPEAKER_00
How did you think you could get it?
1
SPEAKER_00
It was terrible.
1
SPEAKER_00
So that was my first experience of a first strike.
1
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It was very traumatizing.
1
SPEAKER_00
So it wasn t a drug for me.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was a bad drug.
1
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There is a thin line between like the joy it could bring you and the pain.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I do like in your book that you talk about not only just the joy, but like the joys of being alone, the joys of a breakup, that there are positivities in it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Is your book, how much is it gender based, like in terms of if you re a woman or a guy reading it?
1
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So I try to take gender out of it because I really feel that a lot of what we re experiencing today is a complete mixture of experiences.
1
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I don t think you could say, well, this is the same experience that all women are having.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like, I just don t think that s the case anymore.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like I have so many more of my female friends that are like the breadwinners in their relationship now and they re leading the way or they re more driven and ambitious than some of their partners.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, the stereotypes are all blurred.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, they re all blurred now.
1
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And so for me, I was trying to write a book that anyone could pick up in this generation and go, okay, whether I m looking for love, whether I m trying to hold on to it, or whether someone just broke up with me and hurt me, this book s going to help that person.
1
SPEAKER_01
What I love about this book, and I think you might ve said it on Call Her Daddy, my girl Alex, we love, is you were like, there s so much stuff that are not taught to us in school.
1
SPEAKER_01
And it sounds like you almost had whatever education you had and then thought, this wasn t enough for me.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then you have gone into your own studies and research and experiences.
1
SPEAKER_01
If you could have a Jay Shetty high school,
1
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What classes do you think are essential to living a fulfilled life?
1
SPEAKER_01
That is such a great question.
1
SPEAKER_01
I love that question.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s honestly a little too deep, but you know what I m saying?
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We ll make it fun.
1
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We ll make it fun.
1
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We ll make it fun.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I m trying to challenge you a little.
1
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most of us should not start a high school, including me.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like, first of all, let s just put it out there.
1
SPEAKER_00
Starting a high school or a primary school, sorry, elementary school, as you call it here, is such a deep, important task that no one should just start schools.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think it s highly dangerous.
1
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And so even what I m about to say, it s caveated with the fact that I don t think
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even I know enough at this point to start a school.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think that s unhealthy, just to put it out there.
1
SPEAKER_01
But if you were in a town hall meeting, like, can we add these classes?
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Yeah, this is our little J-Study town hall meeting.
1
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First of all, my biggest class would be emotional regulation.
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That would be the number one class.
1
SPEAKER_00
And the reason I say that, and it comes back to the book of Solitude, is that it said that our heartbeats and our heart rates, they synchronize when we re close to other people.
1
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And so first our caregivers, whether it s your mother, your father, your uncle or your aunt, whoever took care of you, your heartbeat and your heart rate synchronizes with theirs.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so the study says that the best thing for your nervous system is another human being, but the worst thing for your nervous system is another human being.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay, that sounds like a pyramid scheme and I hate that life has done this stuff.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so what I find is that your heart rate gets synced up to your partner s where you re now sharing a mood.
1
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And so if you don t know how to self regulate, if you don t have to regulate your own emotions, you re just going to become dependent on whoever you re around.
1
SPEAKER_00
And that s why codependency takes off because we never learned to regulate our own emotions.
1
SPEAKER_00
So that s class number one.
1
SPEAKER_01
And if you grew up with a parent who also had trouble, then you could be anxious, like they are anxious based on things that are out of your control.
1
SPEAKER_00
Absolutely.
1
SPEAKER_00
And that s class number two, healing from parents and healing from first loves.
1
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Because whether it s your parents or whether it s the first guy or girl or person you dated, all of those first love experiences completely transform what you want in a relationship.
1
SPEAKER_00
Maybe the first person you dated like made you insecure about how you look.
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Now anyone that tells you you look good is like the next attractive human being.
1
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When that person was projecting their own onto you.
1
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Exactly, exactly.
1
SPEAKER_00
And the person who s being complimentary to you, they may not even deeply like you.
1
SPEAKER_00
They may like you only for that.
1
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And so I think unraveling the gifts and gaps, as I put it in the book, that our parents gave us is class number two.
1
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I d like to call it reparenting too.
1
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Yeah, where it s kind of like the voices in your head are those
1
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negative things where you can say, actually, how would I want to have spoken to my inner child?
1
SPEAKER_01
What s the third class?
1
SPEAKER_00
I m allowed another one?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
All right.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
Class number three.
1
SPEAKER_00
Class number three would have to be... Do you think meditation should be on it?
1
SPEAKER_00
I was actually, I would put meditation there.
1
SPEAKER_00
I might add that as a tool in emotional regulation.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes, true.
1
SPEAKER_00
As a tool in a practice.
1
SPEAKER_00
True.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s an after school program for them.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s the extracurricular.
1
SPEAKER_00
If you re smart, you get signed up for that.
1
SPEAKER_00
The other one that I d add is financial mastering, financial training.
1
SPEAKER_00
I just think that no one has any clue about how much they should spend on rent, whether you should get a mortgage or not.
1
SPEAKER_00
Should you buy a house or not?
1
SPEAKER_00
Should you save up for one?
1
SPEAKER_00
Do you save or do you invest?
1
SPEAKER_00
What do you invest in?
1
SPEAKER_00
How do you know?
1
SPEAKER_00
Like, I think we have no idea.
1
SPEAKER_01
until you re like 34 and someone goes, why haven t you been putting this into an IRA?
1
SPEAKER_01
And you re like, is that a STD?
1
SPEAKER_01
Like what is an IRA?
1
SPEAKER_01
So that is so true.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m actually, I grew up from a family of teachers.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like my grandpa was a gym teacher.
1
SPEAKER_01
My mom was a principal.
1
SPEAKER_01
My grandma was a librarian and they,
1
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I think about teaching a lot and I just think there s so many holes because I was a people pleaser and I always, I was a perfectionist.
1
SPEAKER_01
I just wanted straight A s.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I wasn t like consuming it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was just trying to win the game and then I would forget it.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then I entered life and it didn t matter that I had straight A s.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was battling, you know, my perfectionism, anxiety, depression, performing so that I feel lovable.
1
SPEAKER_01
Look at this, it turned into a therapy session, but that s what it always does.
1
SPEAKER_01
And within yourself,
1
SPEAKER_01
How is your levels of anxiety, depression?
1
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Do you deal with a cocktail of them?
1
SPEAKER_01
What is your journey with that been?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I feel like I really rebelled growing up against what my parents or what my community wanted me to do.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I kind of started dealing with that early on.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I had the anxiety almost as a young teenager of my parents wanted me to be good at maths and sciences.
1
SPEAKER_00
And while I was okay at those, that s not what I wanted to do.
1
SPEAKER_00
What I wanted to do was philosophy, art and design, psychology, economics was definitely a part of that.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so those were the subjects I loved.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so I started rebelling early on saying, I m going to do what I want and pushing for what you want when you re 13, 14 years old.
1
SPEAKER_00
It kind of creates this really interesting place because now you re on your own, because now it s like, well, you re the only person doing that.
1
SPEAKER_00
Everyone s kind of following the trend.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so I feel like that was it.
1
SPEAKER_00
But the biggest, when you talk about depression or anxiety, the hardest part where I experienced that was just before I went to become a monk and when I came back.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I experienced it before I went, anxiety, because everyone in my community was telling me, you ve been brainwashed.
1
SPEAKER_00
You re wasting your time, no one s ever going to marry you, you re never going to make any more money again.
1
SPEAKER_00
Imagine everyone in your community and your extended family going at you and just telling you that this is the worst decision of your life and you ve just turned down your job offers and have decided to make this thing.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so there was a lot of anxiety attached to the decision.
1
SPEAKER_01
But it takes a real strong inner voice.
1
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to go against what your, like you think your parents are gods growing up.
1
SPEAKER_01
So where did that come from for you to think, I know and they don t know?
1
SPEAKER_00
I feel my inner voice was so loud since I was 14 and I could not ignore it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like it s just been so, and I feel like it s got louder or stayed steady because I ve listened
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, you don t live the kind of life you live like following rules.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_01
Cause you have a very unorthodox career.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, you re kind of like a superstar in like the, I don t even want to say spiritual, but it s just like this, the self-help community.
1
SPEAKER_01
How do you, do you ever get like hate from more like traditional monks or spiritual people because you are so on the internet and putting your face out there and making money?
1
SPEAKER_01
Because you re kind of transcending traditional self-help.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think there s definitely a perspective around like, you know, is this being, you know, watered down or is it being put out there in a way, but I think that overall I find that the people who really know me
1
SPEAKER_00
or the people that I ve gotten to know deeply, they understand that I love the idea of making things simple, accessible, digestible, relevant.
1
SPEAKER_00
For me, that s how I was taught about this wisdom and that s what made it so, it has to be demystified.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, look at me, I have ADHD.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m not reading a book, but I will stop at a clip of you where you re looking, and you have the cool font and maybe some good music in the back, and it s 15 seconds.
1
SPEAKER_00
And that s one of us, and that s most of us today.
1
SPEAKER_01
And that s a smart marketing brain of yours.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and I don t think we should be looking down.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s not like, oh, you re getting the watered-down version.
1
SPEAKER_00
Actually, there s this beautiful statement by a writer named Ivan Pavlov where he said that
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, he wrote this, he s not a writer, but he wrote this statement that I love and he said that if you can t explain something simply, you don t understand it well enough.
1
SPEAKER_00
So to me, I m constantly grappling with ideas going, how do I explain this simply?
1
SPEAKER_00
How can I make this really accessible for myself?
1
SPEAKER_00
Because then I can live it.
1
SPEAKER_00
And for others so they can live it.
1
SPEAKER_00
To me that s a sign of compassion, it s empathy.
1
SPEAKER_00
To me compassion and empathy is like how can I make this so easy for anyone to understand because then I ll be able to live it and change my life and they ll be able to do the same.
2
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, that s great.
2
SPEAKER_05
You did read the book.
2
SPEAKER_01
There you go.
2
SPEAKER_05
I mean, she skimmed.
2
SPEAKER_05
But like, I loved like when you talked about karma and like, as someone who loves yoga, like I see these things kind of connecting.
2
SPEAKER_05
What is your current religion?
2
SPEAKER_01
So I have taken different practices from different traditions that I find fascinating.
2
SPEAKER_01
Overall, I follow a text called the Vedas, which is a universal text which doesn t have a religion or particular spiritual path aligned to it.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s just speaking universally about practices like meditation and wisdom and knowledge.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so for me, I practice three different forms of meditation, breath work, visualization, and mantra, which is the repetition of sacred sound.
2
SPEAKER_01
A lot of what I practice is inspired out of India, because that was the tradition I lived in as a monk.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so to me, but I honestly, having said that,
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, I ve loved pretty much every spiritual text I ve picked up.
2
SPEAKER_01
I tell and read stories from so many different traditions.
2
SPEAKER_01
I consider myself a practitioner, you know, like a citizen of the world when it comes to culture and spirituality because I feel like I can genuinely learn from any path and any tradition.
2
SPEAKER_05
Well, that s why your book is interesting to me about love, because I feel like you ve had so many different cultural experiences.
2
SPEAKER_05
So to write a universal book, was that hard at all?
2
SPEAKER_05
Because I mean, like how Americans view sex versus like how like the Middle East view sex or the Brits or, you know, the Chinese, who knows?
2
SPEAKER_05
How did you kind of
2
SPEAKER_05
globalize it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so I m always trying to put ancient wisdom together with modern science and then pop culture, right, like add pop culture on top.
2
SPEAKER_01
So yeah, that s kind of like my world and that s me too, like I love movies, I love monks and I love media and marketing, like I love all of that and so I m just embracing all of those worlds that I live in and putting them all together and to me there s such a beautiful synergy and harmony that comes from that.
2
SPEAKER_01
So if something was true 5,000 years ago
2
SPEAKER_01
And if science proves it today, and if you can see it in mainstream media, then there s chances that it universally exists.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so to me, I m trying to create things that are timely and timeless.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because to me, something that s timeless is always timely.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I m not trying to be so in the now that it s a trend and it won t make sense.
2
SPEAKER_01
I would hope that someone could pick up this book in 10, 20 years, and it would still hold true.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes, some of the examples of phones and names may change, but the wisdom or the thought behind the book will make sense because a lot of the ideas are 5,000 years old, but science is proving them today.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so that s kind of like the cocktail that I like to put together.
2
SPEAKER_05
Oh, I love a cocktail.
2
SPEAKER_01
Are you sober?
2
SPEAKER_01
I should have said the mocktail.
2
SPEAKER_01
Are you still a Brit?
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know how everyone defines that word, I don t drink alcohol, but I only ever was a social drinker or a games drinker, that s how I drank the most.
2
SPEAKER_01
Me and my friends would play too many, well we all started drinking very early, like 13-14 years old, and we played a lot of drinking games, Ring of Fire was my personal favourite.
2
SPEAKER_01
And we just, yeah, we just drank our way to quitting early because it just, yeah, I just got into it so young.
2
SPEAKER_01
But yes, I don t drink anymore.
2
SPEAKER_03
I know, that s why I spent my whole week composing a haiku for the occasion.
2
SPEAKER_03
It s about my emotional journey in podcasting over the last seven years, and it s called Earthquake House.
2
SPEAKER_04
Mango, I m going to cut you off right there.
2
SPEAKER_03
Why don t we just tell people about our show instead?
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that s a better idea.
2
SPEAKER_03
So every week on Part-Time Genius, we feed our curiosity by answering the world s most important questions.
2
SPEAKER_03
Things like, when did America start dialing 911?
2
SPEAKER_03
Is William Shatner s best acting work in Esperanto?
2
SPEAKER_03
Also, what happened to Esperanto?
2
SPEAKER_04
Plus, we cover questions like how Chinese is your Chinese food?
2
SPEAKER_04
How do dollar stores stay in business?
2
SPEAKER_04
And of course, is there an Illuminati of cheese?
2
SPEAKER_04
There absolutely is.
2
SPEAKER_03
And we are risking our lives by talking about it.
2
SPEAKER_03
But if you love mind-blowing facts, incredible history and really bad jokes, make your brains happy and tune in to Part-Time Genius.
2
SPEAKER_04
Listen to Part-Time Genius on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
2
SPEAKER_00
Hey everyone, this is Molly and Matt and we re the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.
2
SPEAKER_02
We re back with season two of the podcast, which means more opportunities to glow up and become a more responsible and better adult, one life lesson at a time.
2
SPEAKER_00
And let me just tell you, this show is just as much for us as it is for you.
2
SPEAKER_00
So let s figure this stuff out together.
2
SPEAKER_00
This season, we re going to talk about whether or not we re financially and emotionally ready for dog ownership.
2
SPEAKER_02
We re going to figure out the benefits of a high-yield savings account.
2
SPEAKER_00
And what exactly are the duties of being a member of the wedding party?
2
SPEAKER_02
All that plus so much more.
2
SPEAKER_00
Let s learn about all of it and then some.
2
SPEAKER_00
Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
2
SPEAKER_05
have any, um, insights on like hookup culture.
2
SPEAKER_05
A lot of girls are in their twenties and I feel like a lot of people talk about like energies of like a quick hookup versus like you have to wait five dates before you have sex.
2
SPEAKER_05
What s your theory on the exchange of like physicalness in this world currently?
2
SPEAKER_01
I think it all depends on what you want and what you re looking for.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like to me, if someone s just exploring and enjoying and expressing themselves, that s awesome.
2
SPEAKER_01
If someone s trying to build something serious and wants something to last long term, I think there s a different tactic and a different approach.
2
SPEAKER_01
And ultimately anything can kind of end up anywhere because of how it evolves and grows.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I think the biggest mistake people make is they think there are set guidelines as to how it should be done.
2
SPEAKER_01
You see it all over the place.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it doesn t make sense because, yeah, like you just said, if someone s like, oh, don t have sex till date five or don t have sex till date 20 or don t, you know, I think all those kind of things actually just make you focus on that even more.
2
SPEAKER_05
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
And they stop you from focusing on everything else you should be looking at.
2
SPEAKER_05
Well, yeah, if you re putting your energy towards that, are you really being your authentic self?
2
SPEAKER_05
Totally.
2
SPEAKER_05
Or are you like, have a little checkbook?
2
SPEAKER_05
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_05
And me and you both know if you just look at a checkbook or a list, that s not authentic love.
2
SPEAKER_01
Not at all.
2
SPEAKER_05
That s not intimacy.
2
SPEAKER_01
Not at all.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I would go on to say this, and again, I m diving into the science here.
2
SPEAKER_01
If I get too dorky, you can let me know.
2
SPEAKER_01
No.
2
SPEAKER_01
But it s really interesting.
2
SPEAKER_01
So chemistry that we feel with someone with a spark is described as experiencing stress and excitement at the same time.
2
SPEAKER_01
So it s the excitement of, I just got her number, but the stress is, is she going to text me?
2
SPEAKER_01
Or the excitement is, oh my God, oh my God, he just texted me.
2
SPEAKER_01
The stress is, oh my God, what do I text back?
2
SPEAKER_01
So chemistry is actually us feeling excitement and stress at the same time.
2
SPEAKER_01
Now when you get to know someone, the stress drops because you ve become more comfortable with them.
2
SPEAKER_01
Now we think the excitement s gone, but it hasn t.
2
SPEAKER_01
You become more comfortable with them in a healthy way.
2
SPEAKER_01
So the interesting thing about sex, getting on back to that topic,
2
SPEAKER_01
is that all the studies show that when oxytocin is released during and after sex, you feel closer, but you re not actually emotionally closer.
2
SPEAKER_01
And the chemical oxytocin also has a temporary memory block, which means if you just had a massive argument about how you don t trust that person,
2
SPEAKER_01
Now that that chemical s released, you re actually like, they re amazing, I love them.
2
SPEAKER_01
So it s really interesting and that s where I think a lot of these ideas about delaying sex come from.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well I hope they do, I mean if they don t then that would be the only reason is that you don t make as good a decision about someone when you re in that kind of illusion of we re so close, but actually it s a chemical reaction.
2
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I really looked into this stuff because I was fascinated by like, why do we feel close?
2
SPEAKER_01
And that s why so many people have makeup sex or breakup sex and then get back together.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because it s this idea of like, oh no, no, but we are really close.
2
SPEAKER_01
We don t have any problems.
2
SPEAKER_01
There s a temporary memory block going on.
2
SPEAKER_05
And I love what you said about the connection of fear and sometimes getting that combined with excitement.
2
SPEAKER_05
And then when you lose that fear, you think, am I not excited about this person anymore?
2
SPEAKER_05
And I learned that love has so many different meanings.
2
SPEAKER_05
And I d argue when you ask someone, what does love mean?
2
SPEAKER_05
you ll get tons of different answers based on different people.
2
SPEAKER_05
But I just got married in May.
2
SPEAKER_05
I know you re married.
2
SPEAKER_05
Thank you.
2
SPEAKER_05
And there is that feeling of like comfort that you could never feel within like the first month or two, but it s a different kind of high of like a stability and a safeness and understanding that I don t think we talk about a lot.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, well I think if you re looking for chemistry, you should change who you see every month or every day.
2
SPEAKER_05
Have you heard the birth control drama?
2
SPEAKER_05
No, tell me.
2
SPEAKER_05
People are saying that sometimes people get off birth control and be attracted to different men.
2
SPEAKER_05
Really?
2
SPEAKER_05
I ve not heard this.
2
SPEAKER_05
Because of the different hormones.
2
SPEAKER_01
She s heard it, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_05
Because your hormones changing, your attractions could be different.
2
SPEAKER_05
So what changes?
2
SPEAKER_01
I m fascinated.
2
SPEAKER_05
I don t read full paragraphs when I get sent, but I m a skimmer, but it is something of
3
SPEAKER_00
The fact that love and attraction is scientific in your brain and it can be hormonal.
3
SPEAKER_00
Or sometimes when you get pregnant and then you hate your husband.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, a lot of my friends have been through that both ways.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, definitely.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re like, can you stop breathing in my direction?
3
SPEAKER_00
What I also liked is you delved into how to, like, fight well.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I don t think we talk about that ever.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, we never do.
3
SPEAKER_00
Fighting is an art form.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s kung fu.
3
SPEAKER_01
It is.
3
SPEAKER_01
Or it s MMA.
3
SPEAKER_01
Or it s wrestling.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_01
Or it s something.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_01
And not knowing whether you re MMA or whether you re wrestling or whether you re kung fu is where the issue comes from.
3
SPEAKER_00
I do think in my relationship, once I understood them more and learned not to take things personally, it really helps.
3
SPEAKER_00
Because sometimes they ll say something and you re like, you don t even understand me.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then you realize like, oh, that s how, you know, his father spoke to him and that s all he knows.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then you decide, do I want to deal with this?
3
SPEAKER_01
And he s never had the chance to even reflect on that because he may not be aware or she may not, or they may not be aware.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think so many of us,
3
SPEAKER_01
If you ve done a bit of work, you can see it.
3
SPEAKER_01
But the problem is when you ve done a bit of self-work, you start judging everyone else.
3
SPEAKER_01
And you want to avoid that because it s a really unhealthy way to live.
3
SPEAKER_00
You should go to therapy.
3
SPEAKER_00
No, you should go to therapy.
3
SPEAKER_00
You go to therapy.
3
SPEAKER_00
My therapist told me not to.
3
SPEAKER_01
My therapist told me, it s the new, my dad can beat up your dad.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like in the playground, that s what it was.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s like, my dad would take out your dad.
3
SPEAKER_00
My therapist knows what s going on.
3
SPEAKER_01
But John and Julie Gottman, who have been married for God knows how many years, but they have an amazing study called the Gottman Institute.
3
SPEAKER_01
Which looks at all of this amazing research and they found that the number one thing that keeps couples together is not date nights, it s not walks on the beach, it s not dinners, it s not movie nights, it s not holidays, it s learning how to fight.
3
SPEAKER_01
And when I saw that, I was like, wow, like learning how to fight is a skill.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s an art form.
3
SPEAKER_01
And kind of like what you just said about taking things personally.
3
SPEAKER_01
So when me and my wife first started dating and when we got married and when we d first argue, I want to talk about it now and figure it out right now.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s the kind of fighter I am, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
And men can be very logical, like, well, A plus B equals C, so what are we doing?
3
SPEAKER_01
And I m very much like that.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I call that in the book venting.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s like, I want to figure it out now and I want to do it right now.
3
SPEAKER_01
My wife is what I call a hider.
3
SPEAKER_01
She wants to go into a room.
3
SPEAKER_01
She wants to like not talk to me.
3
SPEAKER_01
She wants to think about it.
3
SPEAKER_01
She wants to reflect on it.
3
SPEAKER_01
She wants to figure it out.
3
SPEAKER_01
At the beginning of our relationship, I took that personally.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was like, oh, wait, you don t care as much as I do.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m standing right here and you re walking out.
3
SPEAKER_01
I want to fix it.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re giving up.
3
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then only to realize that that s just how she dealt with it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because when she came back, sometimes two days later, it was a bit of a long wait.
3
SPEAKER_00
Ten years later.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m like waiting outside.
3
SPEAKER_01
But like two days later when she came back, it s like, I m like, oh, she was actually in a place to process it.
3
SPEAKER_01
What we found is you need two days, I need one hour, like now, we re going to meet in 12 hours a day.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like we re going to meet in the middle and figure it out.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then the third fight style I explained is exploding where it s like, I want to talk about my emotions right now.
3
SPEAKER_01
So you re not trying to fix it.
3
SPEAKER_01
You re not trying to solve it, but you need to be heard.
3
SPEAKER_01
Neither of these is good or bad.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s recognizing that we re all different and we all deal with stress and conflict differently.
3
SPEAKER_01
And if you saw your partner for just a style, like you were like, that s this.
3
SPEAKER_00
That is so smart.
3
SPEAKER_00
I actually, my husband and I once, he like upset me with something and I said, that upset me.
3
SPEAKER_00
I want you to apologize.
3
SPEAKER_00
And he basically was like, you re overreacting.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m not apologizing.
3
SPEAKER_00
So we sat there and we just started dying laughing because like we were looking at it based on our styles where I was like, you re being stubborn and I m being triggered and you re, and we, instead of fighting about, I mean the actual thing was very stupid,
3
SPEAKER_00
Instead, we re like, okay, how do we long-term fix this?
3
SPEAKER_00
Because I m like, I just want to hear you say sorry.
3
SPEAKER_00
And he s like, well, I don t want to admit to something I don t think I did wrong.
3
SPEAKER_00
And the next thing you know, you re like, oh, we are working on this long-term relationship.
3
SPEAKER_00
I think relationships are just, do you want to talk to this person for the rest of your life?
3
SPEAKER_00
And can you navigate that conversation?
3
SPEAKER_00
Which is like what you said, it s not about the fancy extravagant vacations.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s about are you on the couch and can you tolerate basic conversation with them?
3
SPEAKER_01
Can you solve problems together and do you want to grow together?
3
SPEAKER_01
I read this research that kind of goes exactly with what you just said.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was saying that if you want to consider someone a casual friend, you have to spend 40 hours with them.
3
SPEAKER_01
If you want to consider someone a good friend, you have to spend 100 quality hours with them.
3
SPEAKER_01
And if you want to consider someone a great friend or a best friend, you have to spend 200 hours with them of deep time.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so when I think about being with someone or if you re thinking about having a future with someone, it s like, do I want to spend 200 deep quality hours getting to know this person is a great way of knowing whether there s longevity here.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I think nowadays we don t think like that.
3
SPEAKER_00
We re like, if I post him on Instagram,
3
SPEAKER_00
Are the girlies going to love it?
3
SPEAKER_00
Do we look good aesthetically?
3
SPEAKER_00
And I learned from, I feel like everyone has that one relationship where you re with the person that society tells you you should be with.
3
SPEAKER_00
I always, I have, I m a standup comedian.
3
SPEAKER_00
I joke about Disney and how Disney, like who we should be attracted to.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like as a young girl, it s like, there s that one Prince on a horse with a stupid hairdo and he s probably a narcissist and he takes up all the space in the room.
3
SPEAKER_00
And you re like, that s the one everyone wants me to marry.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then you find that guy and he makes you feel horrible and you re unfulfilled and you re a shell of yourself.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then you re like, wait, I don t even have anything in common with this man.
3
SPEAKER_00
And just because, you know, so-and-so thinks it s cool, you re dating a guy on the football team or something.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I think we all have to overcome.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s almost like an ego death with relationships.
3
SPEAKER_00
A hundred percent.
3
SPEAKER_00
So well said.
3
SPEAKER_00
How did you realize your wife was the kind of person that you could spend the rest of your life with?
3
SPEAKER_01
Deep, deep question.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, deep question.
3
SPEAKER_00
She s listening, so don t pick it up.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, exactly.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I was attracted to her from the first moment I saw her, so that was easy.
3
SPEAKER_01
That part was already taken care of.
3
SPEAKER_01
If you asked her, she d be like, eh.
3
SPEAKER_01
I feel like guys are pretty black and white with that.
3
SPEAKER_01
They re either like, I want to be with her.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then getting to know her, I think, I just found that she just made me laugh.
3
SPEAKER_01
hilarious, she s adorable, she does the funniest stuff.
3
SPEAKER_00
That makes me so happy that you say that.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s like, I ask any of my team, and she s like that with everyone, it s not like she s just like that with me, it s like that s just who she is and she radiates this like pure joy and anyone who s ever around her, it s almost like people become friends with me and they re like, oh Jay, I really like you, and then they meet my wife and it s like, who s Jay?
3
SPEAKER_01
That happens every time.
3
SPEAKER_00
Everyone s been in a relationship where you re with someone and you re like, don t say that thing, where you can tolerate them alone, but then in a circle you re like, oh, I just think he s tall, but socially I actually don t like how he deals with people.
3
SPEAKER_00
So to be proud of how your partner exists in the world is huge.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, now I m just jealous of her because she steals my friends.
3
SPEAKER_01
But no, I think the thing about
3
SPEAKER_01
I love about my wife the most is I think she really knows me deeply and she accepts me for all that I am.
3
SPEAKER_01
All my flaws, all my mistakes.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I feel like I ve showed her as time s gone on more and more of myself and I don t feel that I ve ever felt judged, criticized or not been given compassion and grace at any of those points.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I think that that s why I love her because I know that
3
SPEAKER_01
whether we had anything or didn t have anything, I know that she d be right there.
3
SPEAKER_01
She s been with me since day one as well.
3
SPEAKER_00
So as a monk, there s not a lot of monks who have become famous and you are putting yourself out there.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re putting all of your teachings and thoughts into the world to be judged.
3
SPEAKER_00
Do you have any, there s so much fame going on nowadays.
3
SPEAKER_00
Do you have any insight of how you deal with the public eye in a,
3
SPEAKER_00
like peaceful way?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah that s a great question.
3
SPEAKER_01
And obviously I always say like I m not a monk anymore so I teach from my practice that I lived as a monk for three years but now I m married, I m a business person, I have a podcast and books and everything else and so one of the biggest things for me and how I deal with the public eye is I am very
3
SPEAKER_01
open and at the same time I understand what needs to be kept private and confidential.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I don t believe in living a life where everything s on show and everything s for display.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think there are so many experiences that are more beautiful when they are truly between two people or a friend and a family member, whatever it may be.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like I don t live in a world where everything needs to be out there.
3
SPEAKER_01
At the same time I love being vulnerable and authentic and open with my community and my audience.
3
SPEAKER_00
But certain things could be really tainted in the wrong way when you just do it for attention or the public eye grasps onto it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, exactly.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so I feel like I try to create that healthy balance between what s truly for me and what is it that I want to share.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m always thinking about when I m sharing, I m like, how does this add value to someone s life?
3
SPEAKER_01
A vanity shot of me is not going to add value.
3
SPEAKER_01
in everyone s life.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so I m always trying to think, how does this really impact someone?
3
SPEAKER_01
How will this make someone s day better?
3
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That s what I think about a lot.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I also made peace with it, with the idea that there is truth in people s commentary on something, and there s also sting.
3
SPEAKER_01
And your job as a content creator, as a author, as a whatever you may be, is to figure that out, is to take the feedback, is to extract the parts that can help you, and leave the rest.
4
SPEAKER_01
but leave the sting and take the feedback.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so you re almost extracting the poison from the process.
4
SPEAKER_01
And there s a lot of good out there that can help you.
4
SPEAKER_01
There s a lot of, even what you d put as hate that could be very useful.
4
SPEAKER_01
I found, I mean, I m going very deep here, but I think we ve been kind of oscillating in a good way between deep and silly, which is fine.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s the idea that I find that
4
SPEAKER_01
Fame being imperfect in the fact that it comes with a lot of judgment or criticism is what detaches you from fame, which is what keeps you humble, grounded, and also protects you from your inevitable irrelevance one day.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so I think you can get so attached and fixated to fame, and if fame didn t have those stings, then you d think fame was the best thing in the world, and you would think that it s the most amazing, intoxicating drug.
4
SPEAKER_01
You would lose touch with reality, which is that you re human.
4
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I just had, and obviously, what to speak of myself, I just had Kevin Hart on the podcast, and he was talking about this exact thing where like,
4
SPEAKER_01
His fame, he felt he was indestructible at this point, he felt that nothing could get at him, and he was like, fame let him down.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like he was the same people that were popping bottles.
4
SPEAKER_01
And that s when the world s like, oh, you ready to get shown reality again?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and so he was saying that when he was popping, the people that were popping bottles in the club were the same people that turned on him.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, I think that that to me is, that s why we get these little reminders.
4
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And so I take them as a little reminder.
4
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Fame is imperfect.
4
SPEAKER_01
Fame is not the goal of life.
4
SPEAKER_01
Uh, it s, it s wonderful.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s great, but it s, it isn t everything.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s so powerful.
4
SPEAKER_02
Cause I wanted to hear from your perspective as someone who s like lived a life that was so anti that.
4
SPEAKER_02
Do you have any advice for social media usage also?
4
SPEAKER_02
Because you, both of us live our lives on social media.
4
SPEAKER_02
We make money from social media.
4
SPEAKER_02
We spread our lies, try spread laughter and insight and wisdom.
4
SPEAKER_02
And wisdom, a ton of wisdom.
4
SPEAKER_02
How do you monitor social media and living?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I think that it s really interesting when you ve come from a world, like for three years, I didn t know who the Prime Minister of England was, I didn t know who won the World Cup.
4
SPEAKER_01
Honestly, it sounds so relaxing.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so I ve come from, you know, that was a long time ago.
4
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I left the monastery 10 years ago.
4
SPEAKER_01
Those three years, I had no access.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s like Big Brother, but less drama.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s an interesting way of putting it.
4
SPEAKER_02
I want a monk reality TV show.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s just them like this.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, just like that the whole time.
4
SPEAKER_01
We just don t move.
4
SPEAKER_01
You turn it on at midnight to see something and nothing s changed.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s the same.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I find that for me, social media is something that I have to be very intentional and conscious.
4
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So I always make sure that it s not the first thing I see every morning.
4
SPEAKER_01
Studies show we have 60 to 80,000 thoughts per day.
4
SPEAKER_01
Now, if I asked you to control 60 to 80,000 thoughts, you couldn t.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s impossible.
4
SPEAKER_01
And 80% of those are negative and repetitive.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so most of us are saying the same negative thing.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like you look in the mirror in the morning, you go, I m ugly.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t look great today.
4
SPEAKER_01
Get to lunchtime, you look at your phone, selfie, oh god, I still look the same, right?
4
SPEAKER_01
You re like repeating a thought again and again and again.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s like comfortable.
4
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it s relatable and it s familiar.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so what I say to people is make sure that you choose intentionally your first thought of the day and your last thought of the day.
4
SPEAKER_01
You can control two thoughts per day.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so my first thought of the day, I don t want it to be based on news, negativity, notifications, or noise, which is what my phone s going to give me if I pick it up first thing in the morning.
4
SPEAKER_01
So even if you can create a seven minute gap,
4
SPEAKER_01
between when you wake up and picking up your phone, a five minute gap to brush your teeth and just get to that point of having a shower.
4
SPEAKER_01
Even if you can just do that, get there because I promise you it s going to give your mind time to warm up.
4
SPEAKER_01
And one of the things I often mention is that waking up and looking at a phone
4
SPEAKER_01
is like letting a hundred people walk into your bedroom in the morning before you ve got up.
4
SPEAKER_01
You would never let a hundred people walk into your bedroom.
4
SPEAKER_01
A literal nightmare.
4
SPEAKER_01
A literal nightmare.
4
SPEAKER_01
You d be like, wait, I need to do my makeup.
4
SPEAKER_01
You d be like, oh, wait a minute, let me just put on some clothes.
4
SPEAKER_01
You d be like, oh, wait, let me, whatever.
4
SPEAKER_02
Also, like, I don t want to know how everyone is doing.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, I can t take in all that energy.
4
SPEAKER_01
You can t.
4
SPEAKER_01
You just need to get your energy right.
4
SPEAKER_01
But when you pick up your phone, that s what it is.
4
SPEAKER_01
A hundred people just walked into the bedroom of your mind
4
SPEAKER_01
And now you ve set yourself up to be reactive to all their needs, all their requests.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so I find giving yourself that gap.
4
SPEAKER_01
So for me, one thing is giving myself that gap.
4
SPEAKER_01
The second thing is I consider myself to be fairly present if I m at lunch or dinner.
4
SPEAKER_01
Me and my wife had a rule that we set a while ago in the home, which was no technology homes and no technology times.
4
SPEAKER_01
Sorry, let me take that again.
4
SPEAKER_01
No technology zones and no technology times.
4
SPEAKER_01
So, for example, the dining table and the bedroom are no technology zones.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wow.
4
SPEAKER_01
Because I d rather eat with you and I d rather sleep with you.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t want to be like, you know, in this in between.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then no technology times, like after 9pm, let s not be on our phones.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, before we finish our meditation in the morning, which is something we do together, we re not going to look at our phones.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so I find that even, and we re not perfect, we break those rules all the time.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, yes, do I have my phone out?
4
SPEAKER_01
You guys are wild.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, exactly.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like 10 30 p.m.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m on my phone.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh my god.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
But you know, I m not saying we follow those rules perfectly, but even having those just sets better barriers and boundaries.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I think the biggest thing is, please create a five to seven minute gap between waking up and looking at your phone because your phone s just going to bombard you with negativity, noise, notifications and news.
4
SPEAKER_01
And now you start your day on a minus four and your whole day you re just climbing up the ladder trying to get back to zero when you could have set yourself up.
4
SPEAKER_00
When the Taliban banned music in Afghanistan, millions were plunged into silence.
4
SPEAKER_00
Radios were smashed.
4
SPEAKER_00
Cassettes burned.
4
SPEAKER_00
You could be beaten or jailed or killed for breaking the rules.
4
SPEAKER_00
And yet, Afghans did it anyway.
4
SPEAKER_00
This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.
4
SPEAKER_00
The danger they endured.
4
SPEAKER_01
And they said my head should be cut off.
4
SPEAKER_00
The joy they brought to the nation.
4
SPEAKER_03
You re free completely.
4
SPEAKER_03
No one is there to destroy you.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m John Legend.
4
SPEAKER_00
Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
4
SPEAKER_03
A new season of Bridgerton is here.
4
SPEAKER_03
And with it, a new season of Bridgerton, the official podcast.
4
SPEAKER_03
I m your host, Gabrielle Collins.
4
SPEAKER_03
And this season, we are bringing fans even deeper into the ton.
4
SPEAKER_03
Colin Bridgerton has returned from his travels abroad.
4
SPEAKER_03
Is Betrothal written in the stars for the eligible bachelor?
4
SPEAKER_03
Meanwhile, the ton is reverberating with speculation of who holds Lady Whistledown s pen.
4
SPEAKER_03
We re discussing it all.
4
SPEAKER_03
I sit down with Nicola Coughlin, Luke Newton, Shonda Rhimes, and more to offer an exclusive peek behind the scenes of each episode of the new season.
4
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Watch season three of the Shondaland series on Netflix.
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Then, fall in love all over again by listening to Bridgerton, the official podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Subscribe to catch a new episode every Thursday.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it s like immediately getting a punch in the gut that you re kind of doing to yourself because you didn t have to look at the phone.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m talking to myself as I look at my phone.
4
SPEAKER_02
Wait, okay, we re gonna get a little darker.
4
SPEAKER_02
We re gonna play a final game.
4
SPEAKER_02
But actually, I ve added this new question that I think is fun.
4
SPEAKER_02
What is like your version of hell?
4
SPEAKER_01
Ooh, I think to know that everyone you loved
4
SPEAKER_01
had like a terminal illness or like, you know, like everyone, everyone you loved is like to disappear in the same way.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like if every one of your family was traveling on a plane and then you never saw them again, like to me, like that s the worst thing that could happen because you, you know, even with the, you know, you, yeah, that would be the, that would be hell because.
4
SPEAKER_02
I just watched The Last of Us.
4
SPEAKER_02
Is that what it s called?
4
SPEAKER_02
The Last of Us on HBO?
4
SPEAKER_02
Is that, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s the, oh my God, it s so good.
4
SPEAKER_02
I highly recommend it.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s very apocalyptic.
4
SPEAKER_02
Fungi.
4
SPEAKER_02
Anyway.
4
SPEAKER_01
But did you mean more like casually?
4
SPEAKER_01
Hell s a strong word.
4
SPEAKER_02
That was the first time I ever asked this on the spot.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s like a new thing I m throwing in.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s deep.
4
SPEAKER_02
I mean, yeah, you see what people like immediately go to of like what they value and what they don t want to lose.
4
SPEAKER_02
Time to play the seven deadly sins.
4
SPEAKER_02
OK, yes.
4
SPEAKER_02
What are you greedy about?
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, what am I greedy about?
4
SPEAKER_01
I m gonna ask my team in a second, but what am I greedy about?
4
SPEAKER_02
And it could be something physical and it could be something emotional.
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, greedy, which I ve had to work on a lot, is sugar.
4
SPEAKER_01
I love sugar.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m greedy about good chocolate, like I m addicted.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was before I met my wife, so yeah, chocolate s for me.
4
SPEAKER_01
She gets you onto like the dark?
4
SPEAKER_01
No, my wife s kept me away from the darkness because she s like extremely focused on- Dark chocolate?
4
SPEAKER_01
Get me away from dark and old chocolates.
4
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, probably chocolates.
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
I looked at her page.
4
SPEAKER_02
I mean, she looks very healthy and knowledgeable.
4
SPEAKER_02
Who are you?
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that is such a good question.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay, who am I envious of?
5
SPEAKER_00
No, I m going to be honest.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m envious of Cristiano Ronaldo because I think he s amazing.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m going to be straight up.
5
SPEAKER_00
If I could have been a football player, I was never good enough.
5
SPEAKER_00
He deals with a lot though.
5
SPEAKER_00
He does, he does.
5
SPEAKER_00
And that s what you realize, right?
5
SPEAKER_00
Like even the people you look up to the most are dealing with so much.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, yeah, he deals with way too much more, you know.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, that s why I came up with the concept of burning in hell, because I started to meet these people I looked up to.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then you start to realize everyone s living through their own.
5
SPEAKER_01
I even was thinking, like, why did LeBron, like LeBron James, is he that much happier than all of us?
5
SPEAKER_01
And then I realized, like, everyone has the cards they re dealt and their own experience.
5
SPEAKER_01
And he s didn t doesn t have some like karmic thing that made him like his hell is as painful as our hell.
5
SPEAKER_01
It just might be in a mansion.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and the thing with Cristiano Ronaldo is I don t, and obviously I m half joking, but I think it s, I think he inspires me and sometimes I look at enviers, not that I want what they have or what he has, it s almost like that s what I aspire for.
5
SPEAKER_01
And he s great in something.
5
SPEAKER_00
He inspires me by his mindset, he inspires me by his dedication.
5
SPEAKER_00
His hair.
5
SPEAKER_00
I wanna, his hair.
5
SPEAKER_00
Maybe I could.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think my hair s good.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I think for me it s more like I aspire in so many ways to carry that spirit for what he does for his love that I can do that for my love.
5
SPEAKER_00
So that s what I mean by ending in that context.
5
SPEAKER_01
Did you manifest this life for yourself?
5
SPEAKER_00
I would say that when I started I had no idea that it would ever get to this point and stage.
5
SPEAKER_00
I love that.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I would say no.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh I love that.
5
SPEAKER_00
Because I didn t really ever believe that this many people would care about well-being, mindfulness, meditation, health.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I m so grateful and humbled every day that I get to live this life.
5
SPEAKER_01
I love that because I almost think that if you manifested like I want to be like have millions and millions of followers on Instagram, you wouldn t have gotten there.
5
SPEAKER_01
You manifested I want to fully understand these teachings and be able to teach people.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think what I manifested was I want to do what I love every day.
5
SPEAKER_00
And what I love is learning, teaching, sharing, experimenting and living.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I m going to find a way to make that relevant, accessible and helpful to people and practical to people.
5
SPEAKER_01
And that you love the journey of it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Absolutely.
5
SPEAKER_01
And if you don t love the journey, you re not going to get anywhere.
5
SPEAKER_00
Absolutely.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, powerful.
5
SPEAKER_01
These are great questions.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God, thank you.
5
SPEAKER_01
When was the last time you experienced extreme wrath or anger?
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s a really tough one.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh gosh.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I ve never been, I grew up in a house where there was a lot of anger.
5
SPEAKER_00
And so I very early on was like, I m not going to be angry.
5
SPEAKER_00
And even when I met my wife, we were like, we re never going to raise our voices.
5
SPEAKER_00
Even if we argue, even if we fight, it s never abusive.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s never.
5
SPEAKER_00
So, so anger is like a rare, rare, rare emotion for me.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like irritable.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s from a man, that s powerful.
5
SPEAKER_00
I feel like a lot of men- Well, because my dad scared me when he was angry, right?
5
SPEAKER_00
It s like, if you ve seen anger at its peak and extreme, you don t want to go near that, you know?
5
SPEAKER_00
So I can t, I really can t, and that s not me being insincere, I just genuinely cannot remember the last time I was angry.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I can.
5
SPEAKER_00
But it wasn t wrath, it wasn t wrath, this is me being half silly again.
5
SPEAKER_00
When my wife, for my birthday, bought me a tablet that was an Asus, not an iPad.
5
SPEAKER_00
Right?
5
SPEAKER_00
Asus.
5
SPEAKER_00
No offense to Asus.
5
SPEAKER_00
But when I said I wanted an iPad, it had to be an iPad, but it was not.
5
SPEAKER_00
It was an Asus.
5
SPEAKER_01
So you just threw it across the room?
5
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s what I mean.
5
SPEAKER_00
It wasn t right.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was so polite.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was like, you got me an Asus.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was like, really?
5
SPEAKER_00
Like an Asus?
5
SPEAKER_00
Can you?
5
SPEAKER_00
And she was like, no, but my- You were like, are we also Android users now?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, she was like, my family told me it s like really good technologically and it s like better.
5
SPEAKER_00
You re like, well, your family hates me, so.
5
SPEAKER_00
Your family doesn t know I won an iPad.
5
SPEAKER_00
I honestly can t remember the last time I was angry.
5
SPEAKER_01
But that s it s also the fact that you meditate every day is probably very helpful.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Um, because I joke that a lot of men, whenever they experience anything besides anger, they like don t know what to do.
5
SPEAKER_01
So it s nice to
5
SPEAKER_01
have men feeling other emotions than just immediately making it like the most masculine.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah and I think doing certain things that can express emotions that are healthy.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean I played a lot of rugby growing up and I feel like as a young man if you did have any anger or frustration like you had an outlet
5
SPEAKER_00
where it s welcome to be physical.
5
SPEAKER_00
And so like, even today, if it s like, I know a lot of my friends, like we ll lift or do tough workouts or we ll go on a hike or like something that s challenging is often where you can channel that anger.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I find like, if you don t channel your anger towards something that s challenging, you take it out on someone you care about.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I think that s what hurts me the most is that the people that matter to us most get the worst of us.
5
SPEAKER_00
And the people that we say that are first in our lives get the worst of us.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I would never want that to be the case, and I don t want to live in a world where I just treat my wife with anger and then I m like, oh I m sorry, I didn t mean it.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I think once you ve said something you don t mean, it never goes from someone s memory, it s always there.
5
SPEAKER_00
And so I just, I kind of take that very seriously, that I don t want to say something that I don t truly believe.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah I was a tennis player and I definitely think hitting a ball.
5
SPEAKER_00
I would just go to sleep after.
5
SPEAKER_00
Take it out on the ball.
5
SPEAKER_00
The ball doesn t have feelings.
5
SPEAKER_00
Just go for it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Do you have a physical regimen too?
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you do yoga or you run or what do you do for your body?
5
SPEAKER_00
I ve oscillated between a bunch of things.
5
SPEAKER_00
Right now it s hiking every day.
5
SPEAKER_00
I hike every single day for about an hour.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s really beautiful.
5
SPEAKER_00
I love it.
5
SPEAKER_00
It also gives me the sunlight in the morning, gets my circadian rhythm moving.
5
SPEAKER_00
There s enough of an incline where it s challenging.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s great for cardiovascular health.
5
SPEAKER_00
I played tennis during the pandemic.
5
SPEAKER_01
That was really fun.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I realized when you take up a sport when you re older, you re good while you re practicing.
5
SPEAKER_00
I didn t play for a year.
5
SPEAKER_00
I am terrible.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I was like, oh, I could play some tournaments now.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then I didn t play for a year.
5
SPEAKER_00
And now I m like,
5
SPEAKER_01
And tennis is so skill and timing and feel.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I loved it.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I played tennis.
5
SPEAKER_00
Sometimes I ll be at the gym, sometimes I ll be hiking, sometimes I ll be playing tennis.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I ll mix it up.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s good.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I live a similar life to you in where sometimes you re touring, sometimes you re on the road.
5
SPEAKER_01
So sometimes I have trouble with that consistency that I used to have as a kid when I was just training.
5
SPEAKER_01
But it is important to move your body.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m trying to tell myself that.
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Yes, it is so important.
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Speaking of, when was the last time you were a sloth?
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So had a real lazy day.
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Oh, probably like last weekend.
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Or maybe, yeah, maybe a couple of weekends ago.
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I try and have a sloth.
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I try to have a sloth evening once a week where I could like order all the food that my wife would never condone.
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Oh, hell yeah.
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Go all out when she s not around.
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What s your guilty pleasure, like your least monk-like thing about you that people would be surprised to know?
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Ah, least monk-like thing.
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probably like addiction to like fried food, sugar, chocolate fudge cake with extra chocolate toppings.
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Like it has to be food related because I have such a like, yeah, such a big sweet tooth.
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It s like burgers, fries, pizza, pasta with a ton of, yeah, like I had, I used to go to a place here in New York called Terry s
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And I invented a shake there.
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It wasn t named after me or anything cool like that.
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I just used to go there and I ll be like, I ll have the usual.
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And they d be like, what do you want?
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Like explain it.
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But I d get them to grind up a brownie into their milkshake.
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Oh, for that texture.
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And I was like, can you grind it just perfect so I can still taste the brownie pieces?
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Like it needs to come off the straws.
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And it s like, yeah.
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Yeah, you re getting like too many emotions with it.
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You re a little too connected.
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Talk about love.
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Yeah, exactly.
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Okay, this is the hard one.
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When was the last time you let your pride or your ego get in the way of something?
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every time I talk to my wife.
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It s hard, it s hard.
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This interview is so good, by the way, you re killing it.
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The person you love the most is the person who gets that side of you.
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Yeah, they know you so easily, they know exactly your triggers, things that piss you off.
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Yeah, I officiated Jen and Ben s wedding last year, and I ve been asked about it a lot, and that s on my mind.
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So I officiated this wedding last year.
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Jen and Ben, casual.
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And I was practicing to my wife the day before,
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And she saw me practice, I had my notes, I rehearsed it for her, and she goes, that s terrible.
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She was just like, that s really bad.
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She was like, you gotta change that.
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And I was like, and my whole ego, I was like, do you know who I am?
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I was like.
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I was like, I ve been asking, like, don t you realize?
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And it was just really interesting because I was like, and then I was like, all right, I didn t, obviously I did.
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I said to her, I was like, no, no, no, it s really good.
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I mean, I thought about this.
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She was like, no, no, you need to change the whole thing.
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And it was just really interesting because all my ego wanted to do is defend myself.
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But then I m like, but she just wants me to be good tomorrow.
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That s all she wants.
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She s being honest with me when no one else would be honest with me.
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True.
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Everyone else would literally be like, that s the greatest thing I ve ever heard, Jay.
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You re amazing.
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Totally.
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She just wants me to be good to her.
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And she knows what you re capable of.
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Exactly.
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And so I rewrote it and it went really well.
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And she was really happy with it.
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And I think that for me is a perfect example of how every part of me was just defending myself.
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And I think we do that with our partners with everything.
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We defend ourselves because we want them to love us.
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Yes.
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We care so much about what they think.
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We care so much about what they think, but we don t realize what they think is love.
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Like that is care.
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Them saying,
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hey, I think you could be better at this.
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I think, I know you can do better.
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I know how great you can be.
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That is the deepest form of love and care.
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Not someone pretending that you don t have something in your teeth.
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You re so right.
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Find the person that tells you there s something in your teeth.
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Someone came up to me the other day and told me, I was just about to film.
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Actually, I was doing an interview last week on my podcast and my videographer said to me, bro, you ve got like chia seeds all up in your teeth.
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And I was like, all right, all right, I m going to get them out.
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It s the most LA I ve ever heard.
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There you go.
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I m so LA.
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I m so LA.
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I ll take it.
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Okay.
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Final question.
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What advice would you give to the listeners on how to cope with your hell when you re going through it, you re in your darkness, whether it s in a relationship, your job, what are some go to things that you like to turn to?
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The first thing that I ve always said to myself is this only makes the story better.
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One day you re going to tell your story.
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One day you re going to share it.
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It may just be with a family friend.
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It may just be, it may be with your child.
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It may be with a brother, a sister, a parent.
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And when you tell that story, your hell
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is what s going to make the story really connect and impact and help people.
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And so don t lose that part of how amazing this will make your story.
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People will be able to relate to your hell far more than your heaven because your hell is something everyone can connect to.
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Everyone s been there.
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The second thing I d say is what
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is this telling me I need to develop as a skill?
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What do I need to learn?
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What s the skill that I need to develop in order to break through this?
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Maybe you re holding a blunt sword and you can t cut what s down in front of you.
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So it s like, okay, let me learn to sharpen the sword.
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That s the skill I need right now.
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And I think often when we re struggling, we re like, why is this happening to me?
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I wish this wasn t happening.
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Rather than going, wait, wait, wait, what skill do I need to learn?
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Maybe the skill is mindfulness.
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Maybe the skill is resilience.
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Maybe the skill is learning how to fight.
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And if you focus on learning a skill, now you ve got amazing ammunition for the rest of your life.
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You can pull it out of your toolkit whenever you need it.
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So I d say that s the second thing.
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And the third thing that I say to myself when I m going through a tough time or walking through hell is,
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Actually, it s the opposite.
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Reminding myself when I m in heaven that hell is just around the corner and reminding myself in hell that heaven is just around the corner.
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And both have to work together that when things, I always say to people, when things are bad, work hard, but when things are good, work harder.
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Because we get so complacent when things are good.
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And when you get complacent when things are good, the hell feels much worse.
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And so just live in this equanimity of I m just doing my purpose, whether it s hell or heaven.
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Yes, instead of being so extreme with the light and dark, it s like you re existing.
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Yeah, I m existing.
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I know what I m doing.
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Whether it s hell or heaven, I m going to wake up and do the same thing anyway.
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Whether it s hell or heaven, I m going to wake up and meditate.
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Whether it s hell or heaven, I m going to wake up and work out.
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Whether it s hell or heaven, I m going to try and serve and impact people.
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Because that s what I was born to do anyway.
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Wow.
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Jay Shetty just served it up in hell.
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This is so fun.
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That was amazing.
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I was like, I want to push him.
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I want to challenge him.
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And you knocked everything out of the park.
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Tell everyone where they can get your book, where they can follow you, where they can see you live.
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Give me all the tea.
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Absolutely.
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So if you want to read the book or listen to the audiobook version, which I read out myself.
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Ooh, gorgeous.
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8rulesoflove.com, the number 8rulesoflove.com.
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And if you d like to see me on tour, I m going on my first world tour ever.
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Very excited to sit in near you.
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Head over to jscheddytour.com and you can get tickets for the international tour.
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That is so exciting.
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Thank you for coming to Hell.
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We ll talk to you guys later.
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Bye.
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Thank you so much.
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Imagine the Lord of the Rings if Frodo never had to leave the Shire.
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How about the Wizard of Oz with no tornado?
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Or picture Black Panther if T Challa never had to battle a challenger for the throne.
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They d be totally boring, right?
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That s because every epic journey includes obstacles to overcome, mountains to climb, and magical rings to destroy.
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Okay, maybe not that, but you get the idea.
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The next seven minutes are about your story and how struggle makes you stronger.
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I m Jay Shetty.
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Welcome to The Daily Jay.
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Now before we embark on this great adventure, let s get centered by taking three deep breaths.
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Inhaling and exhaling.
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Arriving and settling.
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Connecting with this moment and tuning in.
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So I m going to let you in on the world s worst kept secret.
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I love the Dark Knight trilogy.
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I think Christopher Nolan s reboot of the Batman saga is absolutely epic.
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The characters are incredible, the story rich and engaging.
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One of the things I love most about Batman, aside from the fact that he gets the coolest gear ever, is that unlike many other superheroes, he wasn t born with special powers.
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he didn t acquire them as a result of some freak laboratory accident or insect bite.
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Bruce Wayne is a regular human, just like you and me.
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He needed to battle those villains along with his own doubts and fears in order to become Batman.
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The point is, there s a reason that we re captivated by the Batman movies and countless other epic tales.
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It s because they take us on a rollercoaster ride
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First, the main character is up, then they re down.
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They win sometimes, but they also lose.
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Their final victory doesn t come without significant struggle.
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And it s that wild ride that makes the triumph all the more inspiring.
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But here s the thing.
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While we love to read or watch a great story, we re sometimes afraid to live one.
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We ve somehow been trained to believe that only good times are worth living, that happiness and joy are what life is all about.
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We ve made an enemy of so-called bad times.
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We don t see their value, and so we try to run away from them or erase them from our memories.
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But tough moments are there to give something to us.
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If Bruce Wayne had just gone about his regular life, if he d never risen to the challenges set before him, he would have never become the person he is by the end of the story.
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He would have never become capable of saving Gotham City.
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He would have never become a hero.
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There s a Zen proverb that says, obstacles don t block the path, they are the path.
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I ve gone through some really hard times.
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I m sure you have too.
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And when I find myself resisting what s happening, or I start to question why, I have a trick that helps me adjust my mindset.
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I pause, take a breath, and tell myself, this only makes the story better.
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So instead of resisting challenges, think of them as brilliant plot points that make your life richer and you stronger, maybe even a hero.
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On that note, let s do a visualization exercise together to provide you with motivation for your journey.
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Begin by getting a little more comfortable wherever you are.
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Landing in the here and now,
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and letting distractions fade into the background.
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Taking a couple energizing breaths and grounding in the present.
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Feeling your feet on the floor or your seat in the chair.
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solid and connected.
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Now bring to mind a superhero that inspires you.
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Picture them in your mind s eye.
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Think about their traits, the heroic qualities that have helped them become who they are.
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and really connect with that source of inspiration.
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Now look inside of you and see if you can find any seeds of the heroic.
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It could be something as simple as feeling the
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stable power of your feet on the floor.
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Or maybe a memory of a time you felt courageous.
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Whatever it is, start to cultivate this quality within yourself.
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If you re feeling some self-doubt or uncertainty, that s natural.
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Bruce Wayne didn t become Batman overnight.
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I just hope you don t give up on the greatness within.
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And let s open this up.
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How do you generally view tough times or roadblocks that get in your way?
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Can you reframe your outlook on challenges?
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Finally, can you think of your personal story as a hero s journey?
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I hope you feel inspired by today s message.
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And if so, make sure to pass it along to an everyday hero that you know.
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In the words of Superman, you are much stronger than you think you are.
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Trust me.
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I ll see you tomorrow.
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This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.
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The joy they brought to the nation.
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You re free completely.
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No one is there to destroy you.
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The danger they endured.
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They said my head should be cut off.
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I m John Legend.
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Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.