0
SPEAKER_01
Hello?
0
SPEAKER_01
Hello?
0
SPEAKER_01
Hi, who is this?
0
SPEAKER_01
This is Jake.
0
SPEAKER_01
Jake, what s going on, man?
0
SPEAKER_01
How can I get you today?
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I don t know.
0
SPEAKER_00
I guess we could talk about what I texted you.
0
SPEAKER_00
Go ahead.
0
SPEAKER_00
The only relevant thing going on in my life.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
I guess what I texted you was that meth made me a crossdresser.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yes, you said smoking meth made you a crossdresser.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, definitely.
0
SPEAKER_01
Go ahead, tell me.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s really weird.
0
SPEAKER_01
Tell me what happened.
0
SPEAKER_00
Shoot.
0
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
0
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it was like probably a little over a year ago.
0
SPEAKER_00
I had kind of fell into smoking dope and had started like having these thoughts of like what I look like as a girl and shit like that.
0
SPEAKER_01
And real quick, before you go any further, like, cause I usually like smoking dope.
0
SPEAKER_01
I interpret usually to be pot.
0
SPEAKER_01
Are you talking about pot or meth?
0
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Meth.
0
SPEAKER_01
Sorry.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_01
I guess, like in the meth community, do they call it smoking dope?
0
SPEAKER_00
From what I understand, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay, go ahead.
0
SPEAKER_01
Sorry to interrupt.
0
SPEAKER_00
No, you re good.
0
SPEAKER_00
It started with using apps to change your gender and stuff like that.
0
SPEAKER_00
And then I realized I live alone, so why can t I just do this myself?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
I started ordering stuff on Amazon and trying stuff out, like dresses and bras and things like that.
0
SPEAKER_00
And here I am a year later, I cross-dress every day.
0
SPEAKER_00
Anytime I m at home, I m basically cross-dressed.
0
SPEAKER_01
Are you cross-dressed right now?
0
SPEAKER_01
I guess you re in a... Okay, I just, for context, I totally forgot we re cutting this part out of the podcast, but for context, I m just gonna say this, I m gonna leave this in.
0
SPEAKER_01
There s a lot of times in this podcast where I ll call somebody and they ll be driving on the highway, which is what happened.
0
SPEAKER_01
in this phone call, and then I ll have to wait for them to get off the highway and we ll cut that part out.
0
SPEAKER_01
So I was going to just say just now, but you re in your car.
0
SPEAKER_01
So I assume you re not crossdressing.
0
SPEAKER_01
But I realized that we re cutting out the part where I learn that you re in your car.
0
SPEAKER_01
And so that s why I m giving the explanation just now.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m going to assume that what I just said made sense to anyone who s listening to it.
0
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, you re in your car right now, so you re not crossdressed.
0
SPEAKER_00
No, I mean I do go out like cross-dressed sometimes like I ll wear like girl jeans and things like that, but not like a Horn of bra and stuff like that and tits and stuff What so I guess so how old are you I Am 34 I think 34 35 and when did you start smoking meth?
0
SPEAKER_00
I mean I first tried it like I don t know probably a decade ago.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay, I
0
SPEAKER_00
And then I went to rehab and stuff and went to rehab and I ve been good.
0
SPEAKER_00
And then, I don t know, fell off the wagon about a year ago.
0
SPEAKER_01
And what was it about, like, so, I mean, you ve been alive for 34 years and you ve been smoking meth for a decade.
0
SPEAKER_01
What was it about this particular hit of meth that made you realize you wanted to wear women s clothing?
0
SPEAKER_00
You know, I have no idea.
0
SPEAKER_00
I ve spent so many nights and days thinking about this.
0
SPEAKER_00
I have no idea.
0
SPEAKER_00
because it didn t happen any other time, but I think it probably had to do with something about me like living alone and having the opportunity to do so.
0
SPEAKER_00
Sure.
0
SPEAKER_00
So, um, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
So anytime you re at home alone, you re wearing women s clothing.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
For the most part.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, and are you, are you having fun?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I like it.
0
SPEAKER_00
It gives me a lot of comfort and makes me feel, feel good and happy and stuff, man.
0
SPEAKER_01
You ever do the tuck?
0
SPEAKER_00
I ve tried it.
0
SPEAKER_00
Not too comfortable.
0
SPEAKER_01
No, I m not talking about like, uh, I m not like, did you think I meant like the permanent tuck where you kind of like walk, you like actually like tape your dick to your anus kind of thing?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
No, that sounds, that sounds horrible.
0
SPEAKER_01
My, I couldn t do that.
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if any, I mean, I have a particularly like hairy taint.
0
SPEAKER_01
And so if I, if I were to try to tuck, I, it would rip off my asshole hairs and be very painful.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, there s like special tape for it.
0
SPEAKER_00
There s like body tape.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s not supposed to pull out hair and stuff like that.
0
SPEAKER_01
No, I m talking about more of like, uh, what s that guy s like, uh, like, uh, uh, what s that guy s name?
0
SPEAKER_01
I m talking about more like a Buffalo Bill tuck.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Buffalo Bill tuck where you just kind of, you know, you don t, you don t really commit to it with tape or anything.
0
SPEAKER_01
You just kind of throw it back there and just to see what s up.
0
SPEAKER_00
Put it back there and see what it looks like.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
I ve done that.
0
SPEAKER_01
All right.
0
SPEAKER_01
So, um,
0
SPEAKER_01
So when you get home, are you going to go, are you going to put on a dress?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
I just got some new bras and stuff yesterday.
0
SPEAKER_00
You know, try on.
0
SPEAKER_01
So is this like a, is this like a, I don t know, I guess it s you.
0
SPEAKER_01
Does, is this, are you hoping that this like evolves into, into like a new identity that you want to like wear out in public or like what s, um, what, where, where do you, where do you think this is heading?
0
SPEAKER_01
Is it heading anywhere?
0
SPEAKER_01
Is it just kind of a hobby?
0
SPEAKER_01
What are your thoughts?
0
SPEAKER_00
Uh, it s definitely changed my life in quite a bit of ways.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like I started wearing nail polish, um, or my nails are always banded.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, I mean, like I said, I wear, I wear some girl clothes out and about sometimes, but that s not really too weird today.
0
SPEAKER_00
Back in the day, we used to all, like all the guys wore girl jeans that were in like the music scene, stuff like that.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, but it s definitely changed who I am.
0
SPEAKER_00
I ve definitely thought about,
0
SPEAKER_00
like my gender identity as non-binary, basically.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m always fascinated by people who discover this stuff later in life, because it seems like an awfully large thing to lay dormant for so many years and of all things be activated by smoking meth, I guess, as you re telling me.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it makes me think that I kind of had these thoughts my whole life,
0
SPEAKER_00
Like, I mean, when I was a kid, like I did get dressed up in dresses because I grew up with a sister and a mom and that was it.
0
SPEAKER_00
And so that was like kind of normal to happen.
0
SPEAKER_00
But I don t know, like growing up, like during like my teen years and stuff like that, I would have never thought about like cross dressing or anything like this.
0
SPEAKER_01
So you re 34, you live alone.
0
SPEAKER_01
Are you do you have a job?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
What do you do?
0
SPEAKER_00
I drive cars around for Carvana.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, very nice.
0
SPEAKER_01
Very nice.
0
SPEAKER_01
Do you ever wear the clothes while you re working?
0
SPEAKER_00
I have.
0
SPEAKER_00
I don t really like blouses very much.
0
SPEAKER_00
They re kind of odd to wear out in public.
0
SPEAKER_00
They don t look good on me.
0
SPEAKER_00
Unless you re wearing a bra and everything.
0
SPEAKER_00
I ll wear like girl s t-shirts and like a girl s pants and girl s shoes and like a thong and stuff like that to work.
0
SPEAKER_01
So let s talk about the meth.
0
SPEAKER_01
What s up with the, are you still smoking meth or was that, did you kind of, are you, are you still smoking meth?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, how often do you smoke a meth?
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, not every day, but I d say a couple of times a week.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_01
How is that affecting your life?
0
SPEAKER_00
It doesn t really.
0
SPEAKER_01
Really?
0
SPEAKER_01
It doesn t smoke a meth a couple weeks doesn t affect your life?
0
SPEAKER_00
No, I sleep every night.
0
SPEAKER_00
I still see my family.
0
SPEAKER_00
I go hang out with friends.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Damn.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s all still pretty normal.
0
SPEAKER_01
I guess they like us.
0
SPEAKER_01
I guess there is really nothing wrong.
0
SPEAKER_01
I guess there is really nothing wrong with a little bit of meth.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, right.
0
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it s basically Adderall.
0
SPEAKER_01
you think about it yeah i guess i don t i don t i was just joking i don t stand by that statement at all but um i mean maybe yeah maybe i don t know i m not a doctor i m a i m a lizard dude uh do you want to quit smoking meth or are you kind of because that s you know what s a bummer is when you re smoking like a is like if you re someone like yourself where like you re smoking
0
SPEAKER_01
just a little bit of meth like not enough that it s ruining your life and like everything is going well because then you re it s really the guys who are like you know smoking meth in the gutter where it s like hey you gotta stop or else you know um you gotta really get your whole life together but you re doing you re like doing okay you know but i but i mean do you desire to stop smoking meth i feel like it s probably a good idea i don t know it s not a professional matter yeah you re just saying
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
do it s just because it s like I don t know it s just dirty kind of like I don t like doing it and for a long time I was actually scared to quit because I was afraid that I wouldn t want to cross-dress anymore
1
SPEAKER_01
I m sorry.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s a little it s very funny because I Don t it s funny cuz I just I don t get it like Like it s cool.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t get why You ve linked it to meth for some reason.
1
SPEAKER_02
I Mean that s the only thing I ve like looked online about it a little bit and there s a lot of people that have been
1
SPEAKER_02
said that like meth made me gay, meth made me do like some non-straight things and stuff like that.
1
SPEAKER_02
And definitely cross-dressing was one of those that people had said that like meth had, it apparently makes people a lot more feminine in some ways.
1
SPEAKER_01
There are other people who are reporting on message boards that specifically meth made them want to cross-dress.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I m pretty sure I read that on Quora.
1
SPEAKER_01
Damn.
1
SPEAKER_01
Is Walter White secretly an LGBT icon?
1
SPEAKER_01
You know, maybe.
1
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, um...
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, I mean, look, here s what I ll say.
1
SPEAKER_01
Look, good for you on the cross-dressing.
1
SPEAKER_01
Um, that sounds like it s, it s improved your life.
1
SPEAKER_01
Um, I m not going to say, I m not going to say the same thing about the meth.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m not going to give you a good for you on the meth.
1
SPEAKER_01
Um, I m not going to do that in good, in good conscious, but, um, have you ever been to like a, uh, counselor therapist person to talk about any of this?
1
SPEAKER_02
Uh, not any of this yet.
1
SPEAKER_02
I ve been meaning to get into, like, therapy, like a counselor and stuff, but I just haven t gotten in yet.
1
SPEAKER_01
But so, I mean, you re cool otherwise.
1
SPEAKER_01
You have friends, you have a life, you have a job, you re happy, you re not, like, in the throes of misery every day.
1
SPEAKER_02
No, I m not, like, selling my couch to go get more dope and stuff like that.
1
SPEAKER_02
I ve got a dog.
1
SPEAKER_02
I walk him every day.
1
SPEAKER_02
Life s pretty good.
1
SPEAKER_01
Um...
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, I, I, I mean, I m just going to say, I never thought I would say this to someone, but you don t need meth to cross dress.
1
SPEAKER_01
You can do that.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no.
1
SPEAKER_01
And, and, and wear whatever you want.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
But for, for a long time, it was, I would only cross dress like when I was smoking and, and now it s, it s definitely evolved past that.
1
SPEAKER_02
Um, but.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I ve been, you know, I ve been saying this my last bag every day or every other day or whatever for a while, but, um, I guess.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, go ahead.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t want to interrupt.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was literally, I was literally going to just interrupt you to say something stupid and I ll say it eventually, but I want to hear what you were going to say.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, okay.
1
SPEAKER_02
I was going to say, I ll try to quit if you tell me to.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t... Okay, here s what I will say, and I don t want... I think you should try to... I don t think you should try to quit because I told you to.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know, I think you should have more compelling reasons to quit, and I can... But I ll say... And I m sure you do.
1
SPEAKER_01
I ll say this.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t... I mean, I m very happy that you sound like you re actually doing pretty well.
1
SPEAKER_01
I think...
1
SPEAKER_01
I am no medical expert, but I will say, anecdotally, I assume that your life will be improved by not smoking meth, and therefore, you should probably quit smoking meth.
1
SPEAKER_01
Is that what you wanted to hear from me?
1
SPEAKER_01
It is.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay, good.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, definitely.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay, good, good, good.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I think, and I m happy, I m genuinely, I m happy for you that you ve seemed to, you know, despite all of this,
1
SPEAKER_01
found, like navigated your life in such a way that you re happy and you re doing okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
Especially, I don t know your past, but it sounds like it wasn t always like that, and you kind of navigated to find a good rhythm for your life, and I think that s a really beautiful thing, and I m proud of you for doing that.
1
SPEAKER_01
Thanks.
1
SPEAKER_01
And now that you ve done that, you know, you can probably quit smoking meth.
1
SPEAKER_02
I can probably quit, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I ve got everything else going pretty good.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I don t want to throw it away again.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was I was gonna say I guess I m trying I m still trying to understand why meth makes people gay.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know, that doesn t make what I don t understand from what I read.
1
SPEAKER_02
Like, apparently, like, like I said, it like makes people more feminine, but it
1
SPEAKER_02
Apparently like does something with estrogen I get high Okay, that makes sense Yeah It s from what I read I I mean as far as you can trust like people on Cora stuff like that well, um, but
1
SPEAKER_01
I thought it was something like, if you re just awake until 6 a.m.
1
SPEAKER_01
every night, and your brain is just running.
1
SPEAKER_01
If you re awake, if you just don t sleep, and your brain is running through thoughts consistently all the time, eventually it runs into, how would I look in a bra and panties?
1
SPEAKER_01
That was my hypothesis.
1
SPEAKER_01
But the estrogen thing sounds more scientific.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it does.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Cause I guess everyone has like, like if you just, if you just keep going through your brain, like you write, you will eventually find the gay thoughts part.
1
SPEAKER_01
And you know, I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t know how any of this works, but I m happy that you re happy.
1
SPEAKER_02
I m not really sure either, but I m here.
1
SPEAKER_01
Um, it was a pleasure talking to you, man.
1
SPEAKER_01
I really do hope you get clean.
1
SPEAKER_01
You see, you sound like a, a real standup pleasure, but a real, real good dude, real good dude.
1
SPEAKER_01
And it s a pleasure talking to you.
1
SPEAKER_02
Thanks, man.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s been awesome talking to you.
1
SPEAKER_02
I never thought I d get on.
1
SPEAKER_02
I just think that text is like kind of like a throwaway and then grabbing on to get going.
1
SPEAKER_01
Let me know if you quit meth.
1
SPEAKER_01
Send an Instagram DM.
1
SPEAKER_01
If I m on the toilet one day looking at my DMs and I get a text from you and you re like, hey, I quit meth after you told me to, that would make me feel good.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I wouldn t take credit for it because that s your own journey, but yeah, do that.
1
SPEAKER_02
Definitely.
1
SPEAKER_02
Look forward to it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Uh, is there anything else you want to say?
1
SPEAKER_01
What s your name again?
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, Jake.
1
SPEAKER_01
Jake.
1
SPEAKER_01
Jake.
1
SPEAKER_01
Is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, don t smoke meth.
1
SPEAKER_01
There we go.
1
SPEAKER_01
All right.
1
SPEAKER_01
Put on a t-shirt.
1
SPEAKER_01
Right on.
1
SPEAKER_01
All right.
1
SPEAKER_01
Take care.
1
SPEAKER_02
Peace.
1
SPEAKER_01
Jake was pretty chill.
1
SPEAKER_01
Definitely the chillest.
1
SPEAKER_01
meth user i ve ever ran into i hope he quits and uh drives cars and hangs out nice uh nice person hey folks this is lyle i am very excited to announce that i am going back on tour in 2024 to do therapy gecko live all across the country
1
SPEAKER_01
If you ve never been to one of my live shows before, they are extremely fun, unpredictable, wild evenings that involve a mix of group gecko therapy sessions as well as some material and presentations from myself.
1
SPEAKER_01
And if you ve been to the show before, I have new presentations and will of course be interviewing new people.
1
SPEAKER_01
If you re a fan of the podcast, you re gonna have a great time at the live show, so I hope to see you guys there.
1
SPEAKER_01
Go to therapygeckotour.com or check the link in the episode description for a full list of cities where tickets are available.
1
SPEAKER_01
Also, if you don t see your city on the list of cities, please still click the link and RSVP with your phone number so I can contact you when tickets go on sale for your city, because I m going to announce a bunch more dates very soon.
1
SPEAKER_01
Geck bless.
1
SPEAKER_01
Hello?
1
SPEAKER_01
Hey, what s up, man?
1
SPEAKER_01
What s your name?
1
SPEAKER_01
Uh, Peso the Pimp.
1
SPEAKER_01
Peso the Pimp?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Interesting.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s like, do you know that guy, uh, I just found out about this guy.
1
SPEAKER_01
There s this guy, he s very famous.
1
SPEAKER_01
His name is Peso Plume.
1
SPEAKER_00
Peso Pluma.
1
SPEAKER_00
Peso Pluma.
1
SPEAKER_01
What s, what s, is that, who, who s yelling in the background?
1
SPEAKER_01
You had a person yelling in the background.
1
SPEAKER_00
Uh, that, that, that s my mom.
1
SPEAKER_00
My mom.
1
SPEAKER_00
They re, they re going to Burger King.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that s awesome.
1
SPEAKER_01
I d be yelling too if I was doing this.
1
SPEAKER_00
They re like planning a trip to Burger King.
1
SPEAKER_00
They re talking about what they re gonna eat.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
For me, I ain t going.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s tough with this financial situation.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I m making it through.
2
SPEAKER_00
Burger King, also, yeah, it s getting kind of... Well, here s the hack.
2
SPEAKER_00
Let me tell you this.
2
SPEAKER_00
With any fast food place, if you order off, like, the regular menu, it s gonna run you, like, 15 bucks for, like, a fucking hamburger, fries, and a drink.
2
SPEAKER_00
But that s what everyone does is everyone just orders off the main menu.
2
SPEAKER_00
But all these places, they all have value menus.
2
SPEAKER_00
So you can get a cheeseburger for like $3.
2
SPEAKER_00
You just got to know what menu to order off of.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, because normally for me, I got no problem if I go by myself.
2
SPEAKER_01
But if I take my fiance to go eat, I ll start paying like $30.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I m there like, man, it s like, I don t remember.
2
SPEAKER_01
No, you re not expensive.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you know she she s here to my room.
2
SPEAKER_01
She oh, she s I got her into Yeah, we re listening to you just first.
2
SPEAKER_01
He was just like what the hell a man dressed as a gecko talking to people and Then I m there s like yeah, man.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s pretty chill guy.
2
SPEAKER_01
I like Thanks, man.
2
SPEAKER_00
Thanks play pacer the pair where I saw you a pimp.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh
2
SPEAKER_01
No, I I used to in GTA my GTA character Okay, I m talking about real life here No, no, no, okay, but my fiance would kill me if I was a pimp.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah probably probably You seem like you honestly seem like too nice of a guy to be a pimp Yeah, I m nice
2
SPEAKER_01
In the free world, that s what I call it, because I work in a correctional facility as a prison guard.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s where I teach my attitude.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because I m a big teddy bear, basically.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m a big teddy bear.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then when I go to work, I change position, you know?
2
SPEAKER_01
Because you can t be a big teddy bear inside of a prison, man.
2
SPEAKER_01
It will take advantage of you.
2
SPEAKER_01
just two weeks ago, they caught a female officer bringing in contraband to our unit.
2
SPEAKER_01
She was, she was, uh, bringing in like four cans of tobacco and three cell phones into the unit.
2
SPEAKER_01
And now she s, I think serving two years in prison now.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it s crazy, man.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m telling you, um, the type of shit I seen in this job, it really changed me because I ll you just be a construction guy and
2
SPEAKER_01
And whenever I used to start working in here, it changed me a lot.
2
SPEAKER_01
I seen a lot of messed up stuff in here.
2
SPEAKER_01
Honestly, I should go see a therapist, but I don t feel like paying to someone to talk to me.
2
SPEAKER_01
So usually what I do, I go fishing with my dad or with some friends and we sit there and it s just quiet.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then we d say, oh, so how s your job?
2
SPEAKER_01
And I m there, I m like, well, I know you can t relate.
2
SPEAKER_01
I just seen a guy just cut his throat open, like last night, because he forgot to take his psych meds.
2
SPEAKER_01
And they were like, oh, what the hell?
2
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, yeah, man, it s a crazy job.
2
SPEAKER_01
Also, it s kind of fun whenever there s an inmate acting up and we have to take care of them.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, last time this inmate, he was throwing feces.
2
SPEAKER_01
at this one officer for some reason.
2
SPEAKER_01
He was throwing shit at an officer and they told us to handle him.
2
SPEAKER_01
And we got this one thing called a five man team.
2
SPEAKER_01
The five man team is an armor squad.
2
SPEAKER_01
What we do, we re in charge of controlling the inmates who are acting up.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I m like, I m 5 11 , almost six foot, 260 pounds of muscle.
2
SPEAKER_01
And they put me as the first man to go in and sell.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I have a rice shield all the time.
2
SPEAKER_01
So they were telling us, oh yeah, there s a inmate Rogers.
2
SPEAKER_01
Just call him Rogers, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
So I m like, all right.
2
SPEAKER_01
And they would say, oh, Junior, go suit up.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m like, all right.
2
SPEAKER_01
We go suit up.
2
SPEAKER_01
They tell us our position.
2
SPEAKER_01
Junior, you re one man.
2
SPEAKER_01
Pedro, you re two man, this and that.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, all right.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I remember that specific inmate, he said something that got personal for me.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I m there.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s like, all right, it s showtime.
2
SPEAKER_01
Once they opened the cell, it was like a horrendous sight.
2
SPEAKER_01
This man put feces all over the floor.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he had a cup filled with piss.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he was swinging it everywhere, like throwing piss at everyone.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I m there.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s like, man, what the hell did I sign up for?
2
SPEAKER_01
But anyway, we go.
2
SPEAKER_01
I tackle him down.
2
SPEAKER_01
He falls down, hits his head in the toilet.
2
SPEAKER_01
Basically, we knocked him out.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he regained consciousness.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m telling you, this guy s like 6 8 , 6 7 , 300 pounds of muscle.
2
SPEAKER_01
So, me and my co-workers, we re just on top of this, man.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he s just, like... Also, he was high, because once we searched his cell, we found meth, bath salts, and there s...
2
SPEAKER_01
And called, they call it, it s like synthetic marijuana.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s called K2.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it s like, it s marijuana mixed with spice.
2
SPEAKER_01
We don t know what.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
So we re there.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like we ll punch him.
2
SPEAKER_01
We ll, and he will not give up.
2
SPEAKER_01
We will, we will elbow him in the head and the mouth.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he was not giving up to the point that my coworkers like, Oh, I m gonna, I m gonna grab his balls and twist it.
2
SPEAKER_01
And that did not work.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, Jesus.
2
SPEAKER_00
Alright, your co-worker, you guys are authorized to grab someone s balls and twist them?
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, that s use of force right there.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, for me personally, I will not do that.
2
SPEAKER_01
I ll punch you in the throat.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because there s a centerpiece in your throat area that s really sensitive.
2
SPEAKER_01
If you push in, like, you run out of air.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I punched him in the throat and he stopped, like, his circulation.
2
SPEAKER_01
He started gasping for air.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know, my coworker s kind of sus.
2
SPEAKER_01
I told her, I was like, hey, boy, you re kind of weird.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, why is the first thing, grab his balls and twist them?
2
SPEAKER_01
He s a mess.
2
SPEAKER_01
He won t feel nothing.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I have seen, like, the Turtle Squad fight an inmate who is, like, covered with Vaseline all over his body, and that he s, like, and that they can t put hand restraints on them because the hand restraint slips.
2
SPEAKER_01
So you re fighting a guy with dick and balls inside of a tiny little cell, and you just hear the commotion happen.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I m there.
2
SPEAKER_00
You ever seen, you ever see a greased up deaf guy from Family Guy, and it s like a naked guy covered in grease?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_00
Is it like that?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes, just like that.
2
SPEAKER_01
Just like that.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s wild, man.
2
SPEAKER_01
And honestly,
2
SPEAKER_01
And then the worst part about this job, you know, we got to stay clean on purpose, like, not on purpose, but on all the time.
2
SPEAKER_01
For me, I used to smoke a lot.
2
SPEAKER_01
I used to.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I miss it.
2
SPEAKER_01
I miss it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I used to get really, really high and eat edibles.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I miss it because I used to work as a custodian and I used to get baked before entering to work and cleaning restrooms.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I forgot there was this one guy that called in, he was a janitor and he used to get drunk at work.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I kind of related with him, but I used to get baked and I ll put on my AirPods, drive the big machine to clean floors.
2
SPEAKER_01
I miss it a lot, but I was getting paid 10 bucks an hour and I m getting paid like 25, 26 an hour.
2
SPEAKER_01
But it comes with consequences because I ve seen stuff that I don t want to see.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then my anger, I got anger issues.
2
SPEAKER_01
Now my anger issues are maxed out the roof.
2
SPEAKER_01
And the worst part about this is that the prisons here is that they don t have A.C.
2
SPEAKER_01
There s no A.C.
2
SPEAKER_01
So during the summer, we have a whole bunch of use of forces where we have we pepper sprays.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like it s mostly the idiots.
2
SPEAKER_01
who can t control their anger or who cannot control their inmates.
3
SPEAKER_01
that they always get in one argument, and that argument leads to a use of force.
3
SPEAKER_01
For me, I enter the cell block.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, whenever they put me around the cell block, I enter.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s like, hey, look, if y all want to be treated like shit, I ll treat you like shit.
3
SPEAKER_01
If you treat me with respect, you treat me with respect.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s nice.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s not a hard job.
3
SPEAKER_01
You just got to be... You got to be chill.
3
SPEAKER_01
Also, I think I called for that.
3
SPEAKER_01
They suspected me of bringing a contraband to the funeral.
3
SPEAKER_01
which is kind of fucked up.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you mentioned that you sent me a text and you mentioned that you were suspected of bringing contraband in.
3
SPEAKER_00
Why were you suspected of bringing contraband in?
3
SPEAKER_01
Look, so this is pretty stupid, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
So we work six days in and we have three days off, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
And the schedule is weird.
3
SPEAKER_01
But last week, my Sunday was Saturday.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I was sick since Thursday and I was sick on my three days off.
3
SPEAKER_01
And on Sunday, on Easter, I called in because I was sick.
3
SPEAKER_01
And my lieutenant asked me, it s like, hey, why are you calling in?
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I m sick.
3
SPEAKER_01
So all right.
3
SPEAKER_01
And out of nowhere, that s the main reason, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
Because I come in Monday, my co-workers like, hey, you know, they got it like a blacklist now.
3
SPEAKER_01
And they say that you re in it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like for what?
3
SPEAKER_01
Calling in sick?
3
SPEAKER_01
I got kind of like I had like a bronchitis type of thing that I got to have an air pump.
3
SPEAKER_01
And my cough was bad.
3
SPEAKER_01
Then I go in the next day on Tuesday.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m driving into work.
3
SPEAKER_01
I see my lieutenant outside, and my lieutenant pulls me out of my truck.
3
SPEAKER_01
He s like, hey, we re going to search your truck.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, all right.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was weirded out.
3
SPEAKER_01
And since my truck has a whole bunch of tools, they re like, oh, why do you have this tool?
3
SPEAKER_01
Why do you have this tool?
3
SPEAKER_01
I m there.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s like, I was mad.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was like, look, why are y all searching my truck?
3
SPEAKER_01
It s nothing serious, man.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s like, oh, no, we suspect you re being contraband.
3
SPEAKER_01
You ve been calling in a lot, which is stupid.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was like, man, look.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m going through commercial driver license school.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m trying to get out of here.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s what I was gonna ask.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s what I was gonna ask.
3
SPEAKER_00
Alright, so... I mean, one, A, look, it s a bummer that, you know, you re having to, you know, restrain greased-up naked people and get piss and shit thrown at you, and you don t make enough money to, you know, go get Burger King.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, that s fucking crazy.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, no, I do, but it s just...
3
SPEAKER_01
The payments, man.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was usually my car payment and my insurance.
3
SPEAKER_01
But... Now, oh yeah, they totaled my car because of some health damage.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I m free up right now.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I wasted all my money right now getting party supplies for my girls.
3
SPEAKER_01
So that s the main reason.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s where all my money went.
3
SPEAKER_00
Party supplies?
3
SPEAKER_01
Food.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, like food, a mechanical bull.
3
SPEAKER_01
And she did not want the mechanical bull.
3
SPEAKER_00
I wanted the mechanical bull.
3
SPEAKER_00
What s this party that you re throwing for her where you have a mechanical bull?
3
SPEAKER_01
It s a birthday party.
3
SPEAKER_01
And it s like, don t bring a mechanical bull.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s like, man, bro, it s fun.
3
SPEAKER_01
You never have mechanical bull in your party, like you re missing out.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, you re, dude, you in real life are mechanical bullying, you know, fucking people on meth all the time.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so you re gonna get a simulation of what you do every day.
3
SPEAKER_01
Basically, it s fun.
3
SPEAKER_01
I like mechanical bulls.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m not going to say it like that, but I like writing.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, so, um, you re trying to, uh, there s a few things I m curious about.
3
SPEAKER_00
One is, uh, you said you have anger issues.
3
SPEAKER_00
What are you, what, what, why are, what s making you angry?
3
SPEAKER_01
Uh, honestly, I ve been having these anger issues since middle school.
3
SPEAKER_01
Uh, I used to get bootied.
3
SPEAKER_01
I used to get booed a lot in middle school.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was really quiet, you know?
3
SPEAKER_01
I was a quiet kid, playing Pokemon.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, Pokemon started trending in middle school.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m 20, by the way.
3
SPEAKER_01
Wait, you re 20?
3
SPEAKER_01
I forgot.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I m 20.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re only 20?
3
SPEAKER_00
That s so young to be doing all this shit.
3
SPEAKER_01
My body, I m 20 years old, but I feel like a 50-year-old man with this body, man.
3
SPEAKER_01
My body aches.
3
SPEAKER_01
I wish I was just back in middle school, you know?
3
SPEAKER_01
But anyway, like, in middle school, we used to play Pokemon, and Finance and Phrase was coming out, and I don t know, some group of kids would pick on me all the time.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was kind of short and chubby, but then...
3
SPEAKER_01
I couldn t really do nothing, because it was just a group of guys, you know, just picking on me.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then seventh grade, they started doing it again.
3
SPEAKER_01
Eighth grade, I kind of popped off, you know, and like, I finally got tired of it.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was, you know, I started hunting them down, like, one by one.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I started beating the living shit out of them.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so my parents, we decided to move out.
3
SPEAKER_01
And we went up to a country, Spandau, Texas.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, we moved out to Spandora, Texas, and it was pretty chill there.
3
SPEAKER_01
I kind of found peace, you know, because being in the city compared to a country is way different, man.
3
SPEAKER_01
Mostly all my friends I made was in Spandora.
3
SPEAKER_01
Shout out to the boys.
3
SPEAKER_01
Y all my favorites.
3
SPEAKER_01
Y all the real ones.
3
SPEAKER_01
And there I stopped.
3
SPEAKER_01
I felt peace, you know?
3
SPEAKER_01
I found people who I was, like, really close with and chilled with until we moved back to Houston because my dad found a better job over here.
3
SPEAKER_01
And the same shit started rolling again, the same people.
3
SPEAKER_01
But now I knew how to fight and I knew how to defend myself.
3
SPEAKER_01
But it was an everyday thing where
3
SPEAKER_01
they start picking on me mentally.
3
SPEAKER_01
And it got to the point where I was like, you know what, like I m tired of this shit.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I tried taking my life away.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know, something stopped me about it.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I think it was my dog.
3
SPEAKER_01
I had this one dog and it was my sister s dog.
3
SPEAKER_01
I used to take care of her, but now she passed away like two years ago.
3
SPEAKER_01
She was really old because I took care of her
3
SPEAKER_01
She was a baby when I was seven.
3
SPEAKER_01
And basically that dog, each time I was feeling bad, I would always brush her hair.
3
SPEAKER_01
She was like a poodle.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I would brush her hair.
3
SPEAKER_01
It would bring me peace.
3
SPEAKER_01
Good.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then whenever I started working in construction, at first as a custodian, I was just baked all the time.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I, I found everything fun and happy.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then I went into it as an electrician.
3
SPEAKER_01
Uh, I felt like, like,
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
That did not feel like my branch.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m a Hispanic, and I m covered with all these Hispanic men who are trying to take care of their families and everything.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m just in there just to have a Camaro.
3
SPEAKER_01
Once I got laid off, I entered as an operator with machines.
3
SPEAKER_01
Uh, I found, then they told me about this job of being a correctional officer.
3
SPEAKER_01
They start you off $23 an hour in the training academy.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I searched it up on YouTube.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was like, Oh, let s see what they do.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I, and I thought, Oh, okay, it s easy.
3
SPEAKER_01
Nah, it s way different once you started working in this thing, man.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I did not expect it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like I remember the first time they, they tried to throw like
3
SPEAKER_01
a mixture between semen, diarrhea, and piss at me.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was a 23-year-old guy, and he was psyching out that he didn t have his food tray.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was just like, look, I gave you your food tray.
3
SPEAKER_01
You re just, something s wrong with you, you know?
3
SPEAKER_01
And then I remember, he said, oh, I got you.
3
SPEAKER_01
I got you.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I walked away.
3
SPEAKER_01
This happened in restricted housing.
3
SPEAKER_01
They cannot leave their cell at all.
3
SPEAKER_01
They stay in there the whole time, every time.
3
SPEAKER_01
And the only time they come out is to go take a shower, but they got to be on hand restraint.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I remember when I walked by the, I just seen, I felt like a, like a vibe where I felt like something s going to go wrong here.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I stopped.
4
SPEAKER_01
And when I stopped, I seen like a mixture, like green stuff flying off the cell.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then he was like, Oh, you should have gone closer.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I could have dashed you.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s what they call it.
4
SPEAKER_01
They call it dashing.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I m there like, Oh no, I m not having that.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I started cussing him out.
4
SPEAKER_01
I got mad and he was going to do it again, but he was trying to refill with toilet water.
4
SPEAKER_01
So you can t do this at all.
4
SPEAKER_01
If they re inside the cell, you cannot pepper spray them.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I did not give a fuck.
4
SPEAKER_01
I went in and it s like, you re trying to, you re trying to dash me.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s like, Oh yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I told him to get closer.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like don t be a bitch.
4
SPEAKER_00
My friend.
4
SPEAKER_00
What s your name again?
4
SPEAKER_01
Peso the Fifth.
4
SPEAKER_00
Peso.
4
SPEAKER_00
Peso, you, man, in your very short career as a human being, you ve had piss and shit and cum thrown at you a pretty fair amount of times, haven t you?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so let s do this before we go.
4
SPEAKER_00
I want to get this this I want to get this I m curious what uh What s next for you man cuz you re you re doing all this crazy stuff and this is crazy it clearly has You know, I mean, I don t think working at Arkham Asylum is good for anyone s mental health It is
4
SPEAKER_00
And so, uh, what s next for you?
4
SPEAKER_00
What are you going to do?
4
SPEAKER_00
First of all, you should try to talk to a real therapist because you seem like, um, you know, you do seem like a smart guy who s, uh, self-aware, you know?
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, a lot of people, they have these kinds of issues and they just, um,
4
SPEAKER_00
They let them fucking run wild and control their lives and never address it and never do anything to fix it.
4
SPEAKER_00
So, you know, I mean, being self-aware about the fact that you have anger issues and things that you need to get fixed is smart.
4
SPEAKER_00
I ll say I m curious.
4
SPEAKER_00
What do you want to do next?
4
SPEAKER_00
You re trying to I mean for 25 bucks an hour you can find better jobs that don t involve.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you know getting that getting Having that do not involve cups of diarrhea in any capacity.
4
SPEAKER_00
So what what do you want to do next?
4
SPEAKER_01
Right now I m going to school to get my commercial driver license so I could just I like driving so and honestly if
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t know, I sound like a kid when I say that.
4
SPEAKER_01
I wish I could be a race car driver, but you know, the money is expensive to start doing a career like that.
4
SPEAKER_00
Dude, why not something where you re not gonna get killed?
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know why everyone wants to do something where they can get stabbed or in a fiery accident, you know?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but right now I m just gonna be chilling, driving big trucks.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s good.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but...
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, man, I ve been listening to you for a while.
4
SPEAKER_01
And honestly, I thought I was never going to be in each time I listen to you.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was like, well, I could be there, you know, have my my Spotify Spotify episode and listen to my own voice on the radio.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I m there.
4
SPEAKER_01
I wish, you know what I mean, the rate of the stereo, whatever they call it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, listen, Peso, good luck, man.
4
SPEAKER_00
I wish I was more helpful on this, but I meant what I said.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think you re a... I think you should reel it in, right?
4
SPEAKER_00
Reel it in, right?
4
SPEAKER_00
You have a fiancé.
4
SPEAKER_00
Did you say fiancé?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, she s the best.
4
SPEAKER_01
She s the best.
4
SPEAKER_01
She... She always takes this video with me.
4
SPEAKER_01
Nah, not yet.
4
SPEAKER_01
Not legally.
4
SPEAKER_01
But, you know, I proposed to her, so.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_01
All right.
4
SPEAKER_00
The most crazy... Because I see, I see within you, I see within you a commendable, respectable family man who s, you know, waking up every day, you know, happy and proud of his life.
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SPEAKER_00
You know, I see that in your future.
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SPEAKER_00
Just like, you know, if you can get a, get a handle on the,
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SPEAKER_00
the anger issues and you know again work in a place where you re not getting diarrhea thrown at you all the time you know I see a nice a nice future for yourself so you know hold steady my friend peso the pimp
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SPEAKER_00
And by the way, and look, I m not here to tell anyone what to do or criticize anyone s life decisions or anything like that.
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SPEAKER_00
But, you know, I mean, maybe peso.
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SPEAKER_00
I don t know, pimp, I mean, pimps is so strong.
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SPEAKER_00
Can we say anything else?
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SPEAKER_00
Any other good P words than pimp?
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SPEAKER_00
So the the commendable person.
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SPEAKER_00
Uh, Peso the... Peso the commendable person, let s do that.
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SPEAKER_00
I m Sesame Streeting your fucking name, but... Peso, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, wait, someone, I m sorry, I m looking at the chat right now.
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SPEAKER_00
Somebody said, peso the punctual.
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SPEAKER_00
That s good, like if you re applying for a job and someone s like, oh, this guy s very punctual.
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SPEAKER_00
That could be good.
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SPEAKER_01
That sounds nice.
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SPEAKER_01
Nah, but... Honestly, I got nothing to say, but... Chill, chill, chill.
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SPEAKER_01
Okay, then.
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SPEAKER_01
She just came in to bother me, but...
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, honestly, there s a lot of people who say a lot of motivating stuff before they leave the phone call, but I got nothing.
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SPEAKER_01
I m just trying to ask you a question.
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When you come into Houston... When am I coming to Houston?
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SPEAKER_00
I m coming to Houston in September, my friend.
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SPEAKER_00
I m coming back to The Secret Group, a great venue in Houston, Texas for comedy.
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SPEAKER_00
So I ll be there in September.
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SPEAKER_00
I m very excited.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I will buy your ticket no matter what.
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SPEAKER_01
Cause I see whenever you were posting the, the cities and the dates, I was like, man, I won t see Houston.
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SPEAKER_01
I ll be in Houston in September.
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SPEAKER_00
Don t go into debt.
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SPEAKER_00
Don t take out a loan to get a ticket, but if you can, it d be cool.
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SPEAKER_01
No, I m a pull up.
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SPEAKER_01
I m a pull up.
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SPEAKER_01
I m a, I m a, I m a try.
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SPEAKER_01
I m gonna try and get back.
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SPEAKER_01
Well, I do see a little belly on me, but I ll be shredded when I get in there.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, enough putting some reps with that mechanical bull and you ll have a six pack in no time.
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SPEAKER_00
Here s what I ll do, and this is the last thing I ll say, here s what we ll do, is you ll fucking go train on the mechanical bull and then I ll give you a little piggyback ride and I ll try to buck you off and if you can last on my back for a full 60 seconds, I ll give you a t-shirt or something.
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SPEAKER_01
Yes sir, alright, you got it, you got it.
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SPEAKER_00
Alright, take care Peso, thanks for calling man.
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SPEAKER_01
All right.
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SPEAKER_01
Thank you, Mr. Garrett.
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SPEAKER_01
Have a good one.
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SPEAKER_00
Hi.
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SPEAKER_00
Hi.
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SPEAKER_00
What is your name?
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SPEAKER_02
My name is Mackenzie.
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SPEAKER_02
How are you?
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SPEAKER_00
How am I?
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SPEAKER_00
I m doing okay.
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SPEAKER_00
I am feeling good.
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SPEAKER_00
I m feeling caffeinated and dressed.
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SPEAKER_00
I ve noticed that s really the thing.
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SPEAKER_00
A lot of the times, if you re ever just laying in bed in your underwear and you re depressed,
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SPEAKER_00
just get dressed and go outside and you ll feel so much better all you have to do is get dressed it s like it s really the little things uh i mean i mean granted i m dressed in a i m not really dressed i m in a gecko costume which is a version of dressed
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SPEAKER_00
But, um, I am wearing enough clothes to go outside and not get arrested.
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SPEAKER_00
And that is, I think, the, uh, uh, barometer by which we should all live.
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SPEAKER_00
But how are you Mackenzie?
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SPEAKER_00
What was it?
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SPEAKER_00
What is it you want to talk about today?
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_02
So, uh, my, my sister is a very huge fan, huge fan.
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SPEAKER_02
And so am I. So we listen.
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SPEAKER_02
Um, and she thought it would be funny.
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SPEAKER_02
If I told my story, she calls it my second butthole.
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SPEAKER_00
You have a second butthole.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_02
Technically, not really.
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It s so long story short, I had to go to the emergency room.
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SPEAKER_02
I had a very large lump on the top of my butt crack.
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This is kind of nasty.
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But it turns out ultimately it was cellulitis.
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And my sister kind of it s, you know, inside joke now because
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She initially was like squeezing it.
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SPEAKER_02
It s a really nasty.
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SPEAKER_01
Um, well, hold on real quick.
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SPEAKER_01
We actually, we did a whole episode about this.
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SPEAKER_01
If you go, is this, is this a pollen idol cyst?
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SPEAKER_02
I think so.
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SPEAKER_02
I think that s what it was.
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SPEAKER_01
There is a whole, if you go back into the archives of Therapy Gecko, there s a whole episode about, it s called the pollinidal cyst.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I had a pollinidal cyst fuckin  five years ago.
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SPEAKER_01
Maybe it s a big lump on the top of your butt crack.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, so painful.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s very painful, very painful.
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SPEAKER_01
That s not really a butthole, a hole is concave and a cyst is convex, I would say.
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SPEAKER_02
Well, that s the thing.
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SPEAKER_02
It was because it was like, it got so bad because I thought it was just like an ingrown hair.
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And so I was trying to, I was trying to avoid going to the ER and I was just trying to like treat it at home.
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SPEAKER_02
So that s why she was squeezing it initially.
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SPEAKER_02
Um, but it got super painful, like to the point where I couldn t even sit down anymore.
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SPEAKER_02
And so when they squeezed it, it was like literally just a hole from when the, where the infection was.
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SPEAKER_01
You have a kind of, I mean, I guess kind is the word.
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SPEAKER_01
It s kind of your sister to squeeze your pollinatal cyst for you.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, we re super close.
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SPEAKER_01
Super, super close.
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SPEAKER_02
That only brought us closer.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, we re roommates.
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SPEAKER_01
Let me ask you this.
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SPEAKER_01
What are you going to do for her in return?
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SPEAKER_02
That is a good question.
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SPEAKER_02
It s still definitely an open favor.
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SPEAKER_02
But I mean, anything that she would ask of me, I would do it anyway.
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SPEAKER_02
So we re just that close.
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SPEAKER_01
Uh, okay.
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SPEAKER_01
Okay.
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SPEAKER_01
Um, so, uh, so it made a hole that you call your second butthole?
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_02
Well, she calls it my second butthole.
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SPEAKER_02
I m still kind of embarrassed about it.
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SPEAKER_02
It happened a couple months ago, but.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it s funny because I started talking to this guy and then it happened like right after we started talking and I couldn t tell him about it because we had only been talking for like a week and that s embarrassing.
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SPEAKER_01
That s sixth base right there is if someone lets you fist their polynidal cyst hole.
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SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah, I don t know about that one.
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SPEAKER_02
I don t think I would let him do that.
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SPEAKER_01
But yeah, no, that s definitely you should definitely save that for marriage.
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SPEAKER_01
I agree.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, saving the second butthole for marriage is, I think, the best way to go.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
That s kind of like, well, you know how there s that loophole where it s like, if you, if it s just anal, it s not, they call it the poophole loophole where like God, like for Christian people, like if you, if God doesn t care, if you have premarital sex, as long as it s in the butthole, I think that applies to the second butthole too.
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SPEAKER_01
So you could get, a person could get DP d in their first and second butthole and God would, you know, be like, yeah, go wild.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t care.
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SPEAKER_01
That s, it s not, that doesn t count.
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SPEAKER_01
well have you ever heard that song it s uh it s fuck me in the ass if you love jesus it s like a parody yeah yeah yeah it s but it s uh garfunkel yeah oats yeah yeah but there s no i assume there s no like stimulation in the second in the polynidal cyst hole
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SPEAKER_02
Probably not.
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SPEAKER_02
I haven t tried and I personally don t think I would try Yeah, I think it s definitely closed by now.
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SPEAKER_02
I I mean I can t really see you so Do you think there are people out there in like
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SPEAKER_01
I don t know BDSM communities or whatever who like they re so they they desire to have sex on such a crazy kinky level that they actually get new holes
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SPEAKER_01
Physically like surgically Created within them.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so that they cuz like they re tired of getting fucked in like the mouth or the ass or the vagina They make a new hole Like intentionally is that anyone s ever done that?
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SPEAKER_02
I I definitely think so.
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SPEAKER_02
I mean, I I mean anybody can really do anything they want if you really think about it It s definitely possible.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_02
I mean, I don t know if you ve ever noticed this, but there s a lot of weird stuff that people could do.
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SPEAKER_02
That s technically not illegal.
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SPEAKER_01
There is, there is.
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SPEAKER_01
I guess it s, well, suicide I think is illegal, but like self mutilation isn t illegal.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t think.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_02
Well, I mean, technically no, but I mean, there s also like body modifications, like
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SPEAKER_02
For me, I have quite a few nose piercings and, like, tattoos, but I know people, like, you see those people who have, like, gauges in their cheeks?
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_02
You know, like, something like that?
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SPEAKER_02
That s basically creating a new hole.
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SPEAKER_01
Do you think anyone s ever been fucked in the gauge hole?
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SPEAKER_02
Oh, for sure.
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SPEAKER_02
Oh, for sure.
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SPEAKER_02
I would think so.
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SPEAKER_02
It might not feel good, but I think so.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t think it d feel good for anyone.
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SPEAKER_01
It would be like, um, it would be like if somebody made like an okay symbol with their hand and you fucked that.
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SPEAKER_02
I mean, yeah, but I mean, also the thing, and I don t know if this applies to all men, but some men, I mean, don t fuck anything.
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SPEAKER_02
So no offense if that offends you, but.
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SPEAKER_01
I d fuck a gauge hole, why not?
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
I would fuck a gauge hole just because it would be like, I would fuck a gauge hole not because it would be like, I don t think it would be enough friction for it to be sexually satisfying, but it would be satisfying in the way of like, you ever see those oddly satisfying videos on TikTok where two things just fit in a nice way?
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
if I found a gauge hole that was the exact circumference of my penis and I could put it in it fit perfectly that would that might give me an orgasm just from like like from the aesthetic of it not any kind of like actual sexual stimulation right that could be cool exactly exactly it doesn t always have to be like the stimulation too so I mean I I could agree
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SPEAKER_01
Well, um, good luck.
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SPEAKER_01
Is the cyst still there or is it gone?
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SPEAKER_02
No, it s been gone.
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SPEAKER_02
Um, they gave me antibiotics and it hasn t come back, but I m scared it will.
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SPEAKER_02
So I guess we ll see.
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SPEAKER_01
Well, um, listen, as, as one former polynodial cyst have her to another, uh, stay strong, my brother, we will, we will get through this together.
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SPEAKER_02
Thank you.
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SPEAKER_01
Uh, we will.
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SPEAKER_02
We will.
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SPEAKER_02
I appreciate that.
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SPEAKER_02
It s McKenzie.
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SPEAKER_01
Mackenzie, is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?
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SPEAKER_02
Stay strong and don t stick your dick in anything dangerous.
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SPEAKER_01
That s smart.
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SPEAKER_01
Well, see you later, dude.
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SPEAKER_02
Hope it s good advice.
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SPEAKER_02
See you later.
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SPEAKER_02
Bye.
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SPEAKER_01
I was thinking the other day about what it would be like to have sex with Bowser.
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SPEAKER_01
Um, cause there s a lot of like different, uh, he Bowser s kind of like a, uh, a little BDSM freak.
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SPEAKER_01
He s got all those like, uh, spiky arm bracelets and leg bracelets and stuff.
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SPEAKER_01
You know, he definitely, um... Like, if you were to fuck Bowser in the ass, and you, like, lay... You would, like, lay down on top of him, so that you re kind of getting, like, acupuncture spiked into the stomach, and then his, like, spiky tail would be ripping up your ass.
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SPEAKER_01
Well, no, because I think his... No, because the tail is above the ass, so... I m trying to think how that would work.
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SPEAKER_01
I mean, in his manners, he s not real, he s a fictional character, but... I don t know.
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SPEAKER_01
I m sorry, I drank a Celsius before this, and this is not to say that Celsius makes you wanna fuck Bowser, but, like... You know, I m just, I m just, I m on one, is I guess what I m saying.
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SPEAKER_01
All right.