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I m David Farrier, a New Zealander accidentally marooned in America, and I want to figure out what makes this country tick.
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Now one thing I ve found out, much to Monica s utter horror, is that America really loves pets.
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One day an animal lives with its own kind, and the next it lives in a house with a bunch of humans.
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Over 60 million American households have a pet.
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There are about 76 million pet dogs here in the U.S., and 58 million cats, 7 million birds, and about a million horses.
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But one state has chosen to one-up the rest of the U.S.
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when it comes to pets.
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This highly venomous cobra escaped from an Ocala home.
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Five years later, the potentially deadly snake has never been found.
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Florida has more exotic animal species than any other state, and quite possibly than any other country.
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Even when you look at just reptiles alone, there are about 50 different species now thriving in Florida, most of them imports.
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Then there s all the other stuff people get their hands on, some of which ends up escaping.
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That cobra is among hundreds of captive animals that have escaped from Florida homes and zoos in recent years.
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It was getting so out of hand, Florida recently banned the ownership of certain reptiles and snakes.
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But things are still pretty wild.
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But how wild, exactly?
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I need to find out.
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So, grab your nearest axolotl, skunk or blue-tongued lizard and get ready to make it your best friend.
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Because this is the Exotic Pets episode.
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Did you say axolotl?
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Axolotl.
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What s that?
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Axolotl.
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It s those little, they live in a tank and they ve got legs.
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Is this like charades or like, I don t, I m confused.
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They look like God was on day five or six of creation and was kind of like running out of animal ideas.
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I ll show you a photo.
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Ax-e-la-til.
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I have literally never heard of that in my entire 35 years.
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This could be the animal for you.
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I think I know what your birthday present is going to be.
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Look how cute this is.
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I m handing you my phone.
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I ve googled axolotl.
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Oh, weird.
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It looks like one of the cute creatures you d get in Guardians of the Galaxy.
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It does, ew.
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Isn t it beautiful?
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So it s sort of like- Oh, it s salamander-esque.
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Salamander adjacent.
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You don t like it?
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I mean, I like pink things, and it is pink.
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To be honest... But why does its eyes and face look so cartoonish?
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Yeah, they re like a cute little cartoon.
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And the Floridians love them.
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And because they... do they eat people?
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They don t eat people.
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It s tiny.
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It s not the size of a cow or something.
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It s like the tiniest thing.
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To be honest, I wanted to do exotic pets for Flightless Bird on this road trip in Florida, but I know that your relationship with animals that we humans like to sort of round up and sort of keep in our homes for our own sort of enjoyment, a bit repulsive pets.
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Yeah, and so I kind of just really wanted to hash it out and figure out what s in a column that might be okay, what isn t.
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And also I went to David Sedaris, who s obviously a guest on your show multiple times.
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Rob took me along.
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Great.
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He was amazing, by the way.
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I m so ignorant in that I didn t know him before listening to him on your show.
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Very funny.
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The whole show is great, near perfect, gets to the end, always a disastrous thing to do, I guess when it s from your show sometimes, any show, Q&A time.
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You can curate the most beautiful show of all time, a great performance, and then you throw it out to a crowd that s probably been drinking.
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Deep, deep fans of David Sedaris.
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But he lives for that shit.
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That s why it works for him.
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He handled it.
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Okay, what happened?
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So just quickly, the worst question was a woman who was incredibly intoxicated and gave a big speech about how her husband, who she had brought along, was the biggest fan of all time, had all his books, but is much too shy to ask a question.
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So therefore, I m going to peer pressure him now to ask the question.
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Publicly.
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I don t think she wanted like a chant from the audience.
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Oh,
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It was horrible.
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Anyway, he handled that like a pro, sort of shut the whole thing down.
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But the best moment was someone said, what is your favorite dog breed?
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And that set off a very sort of charming answer from him.
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But it basically ended with him saying the best dog is a dead dog.
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Which is, was just so funny.
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And it s such a, obviously deeply offensive to me who loves dogs, but the funniest thing on the planet.
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And I just thought of you, who doesn t want to kill dogs.
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I don t.
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I m going to make that clear.
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But is not their biggest fan.
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And he just did it in such a charming way.
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So when he said the only good dog is a dead dog, the entire audience just lost it because it was such a funny premise.
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God, he gets away with absolute murder, and I love it.
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He does, and I was thinking about this as well, because there s a way in which one person could say something and it s offensive, and someone else says, and he was saying the whole night.
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Oh, yeah.
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And is that sort of his?
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Yeah, and we ve dissected it a little bit on Armchair, or tried to, of how is he able to do this?
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And I mean, I think there are a lot of explanations, but a part of it is when you re that funny,
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It just reigns supreme.
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Also, he does not give a fuck.
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He doesn t care if people are mad.
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He doesn t care if he s quote, canceled.
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I mean, he pushes things to the extreme, which is the whole concept, but he does it in the build and kind of makes you understand what he s doing.
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So by the time he delivers it.
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You just can t be offended.
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Plus, he s in these comically giant shorts on stage.
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He told us about the shorts before, and I m so sad I didn t get to see the shorts.
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He looked like a cartoon.
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And he s a small man, but being in these giant shorts made him look even tinier, and you just can t be offended by someone like that.
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I thought of you with the dog thing.
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It was very funny.
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Okay, so this is the scenario I ll put out there.
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If you were trapped on an island and you had no human companions, it was just you, but the plane that you went down with had an animal.
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What would the one animal be that you would want on the island?
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Not for food.
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Right.
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Can t eat it.
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But for companionship, just to look at a nice thing and go and maybe occasionally give it a little pat on the head.
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Yeah.
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I can t believe you re putting me in this position.
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I would pick a dog.
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Dog, okay.
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This is incredible.
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I know, look, you made me say it.
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You made me say it.
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Because they are good companions.
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They love you.
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Yeah.
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Every day you wake up on the island and they re happy to see you.
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Yeah, that d be nice.
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Oh, that s so nice.
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Plus, I don t think I would have to pick up after it because if we re the only two people on the island, I m fine with, who am I picking up shit for?
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I like when the boat finally finds you.
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It s just you on this island of dog shit.
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The whole island is full of shit.
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And you ve just got this little corner that s clean for you to sleep on.
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You re like, thank God you ve come here, finally.
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Yes.
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So do you want to learn about some exotic pets?
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Yeah.
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My journey into Florida.
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I m anxious about this because the people who own exotic pets, I do have a lot of feelings about.
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I was super curious about this as well, because I spent most of my lockdown, like the rest of the world, watching Tiger King, and that was a reminder of when it goes wrong.
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Someone just rescued, recently, Animal Rescue, a massive croc that someone in Washington had been keeping in their basement.
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They got it as a tiny little baby and were keeping it as a pet, and then it grew and it grew, and they didn t know what to do with it.
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So this poor thing was just in someone s basement.
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So I guess Fish and Wildlife came over and rescued it.
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Imagine having that in the basement.
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But is that person getting arrested?
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No, weirdly.
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There was a quote in there from the agency that did the rescue and they said they re not going to prosecute because they say it s better that people want to come forward with the animals that they re keeping and give them up as opposed to worrying they ll get arrested and keep them locked up, which I kind of get the logic.
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Yeah.
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But also don t keep a massive animal locked up in your basement.
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An extremely dangerous one.
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Yeah, it s not good.
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It needs to be free in a pond.
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All right.
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I d been thinking back to my time with Steve, the gladesman.
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Steve had taken me deep into the depths of the Everglades.
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Which was not so much deep as very, very wide.
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A giant river bustling with life.
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Creatures glistening and buzzing and darting around beneath the boat.
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He d taken me out in his airboat to teach me about the gladesman life.
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And along the way, I d started talking to him about the wildlife.
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You seem very nonplussed by various creatures out here.
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Is there anything you are freaked out by out in these waters?
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Well, we have four venomous snakes.
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We have a coral snake, we have the eastern diamondback rattlesnake, we have the cottonmouth.
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The cottonmouth, you d be lucky to make it out of here.
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And the cottonmouth is an aggressive snake.
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It s the only snake that ll actually, it ll come at you to bite you.
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And Steve also told me about another creature that s multiplying out here at an alarming rate.
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A pet that got loose and got loose with a load of eggs and is going haywire out here.
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The Burmese python.
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It s a boa constrictor.
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It started years ago when people started letting them go after as pets.
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What really took off is back in 1992 we had Hurricane Andrew and I m from Homestead and we had a bunch of tourist attractions you know snake farms and shows and stuff.
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When the hurricane came through it just flattened them all so after that they re multiplying faster than we can get rid of them.
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Steve told me that in the last two years, he s managed to catch about 130 of these boa constrictors, also known as the Burmese python.
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The Burmese python started their life in Florida as pets or zoo attractions, but they got loose, and they got big.
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I mean, they re not venomous, you know, but the bad part is, is they re really big.
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They average around 9 to 12 foot is most of the sizes we catch them.
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The 17 footer, that s the biggest one we ve caught.
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So take me through.
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You re out here motoring around.
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You see one of those things.
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You don t want it in here.
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You want to get rid of it.
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What do you do?
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I normally just jump off the boat and grab wherever I can so I can get the snake out.
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The state, if you apply, they ll pay you.
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It s like $75 or $100 up to five foot.
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Every foot after that is an additional $25.
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They ll also pay for the eggs.
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If this podcast doesn t work out, I guess I could go and forge a career catching pythons.
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75 to 100 dollars a foot.
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And on some of these snakes, according to recent news reports, there are a lot of feet.
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215 pounds and 18 feet long.
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Hunters caught this massive Burmese python full of eggs.
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These snakes are invasive though and they cause problems for Florida s ecosystem.
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You re not worried about the constricting nature of the snakes at all?
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No, not really.
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Unless he s like that 17 footer, it actually took five of us to get him in the boat.
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Sometimes I can only see like a piece of him.
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So I just grab them.
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They re not poisonous.
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They will bite you, but it s nothing you have to go to the hospital over.
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So whatever I got to do to remove them.
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Now, if I see one that s 17 foot,
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I have to call for backup and get someone to help me.
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But I can catch 12, 13-footers.
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I caught two 12-footers right there in the same spot and had them both, one in each hand.
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Steve told me that one Burmese python can eat around 1,000 mammals and lay around 100 eggs.
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When Steve was a kid, it used to be alligators that were the top dogs out here.
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Now it s the python.
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Back on land, I couldn t stop thinking about this.
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This pet that got loose.
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I go to visit the head reptile handler in a place called Alligator Park.
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And from what Jackson tells me, I wonder if Steve was underselling the problem.
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And the more time that goes on, we re just finding them bigger and bigger and bigger.
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And its last meal, found in the stomach, were deer hoofs.
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You gotta think, these snakes are very aggressive.
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Most of our natural wildlife is fearful, even the American alligator.
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But the Burmese python will stand its ground.
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It s very aggressive.
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You can find all these snake hunters getting bit by them, them guarding their nest.
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They ll have anywhere from 80 to 120 teeth, depending on the size of them.
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Well, the alligator only has 80, but the downfall is because it s a restrictor or a coiler, it latches on, starts to squeeze, and once the alligator s mouth is subdued, it can then eat it.
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They say within the next 10 years, the alligator won t be the apex predator.
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The apex predator will be the python.
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And the python likes it here in Florida, for the same reason all the old people like it here.
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It s warm.
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They re cold-blooded.
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In their natural environment, they re used to things being about 44 degrees Fahrenheit.
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And 44 degrees Fahrenheit is winter in Florida.
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The snakes are in heaven.
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Bliss.
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They re active and they re happy.
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And they re hungry.
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So they re really thinking the snake is going to stay down here, and it is just causing disaster, chaos and havoc.
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The Burmese python is the poster child for what can go wrong when Florida s exotic pets get loose.
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What happens when a hurricane floods your garage of snakes, or when your big pet gets too big for you.
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I decide to drive to a place called the Everglades Outpost in Homestead, about an hour south of Miami.
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It s a non-profit organization that s been around since 1991.
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So my name is Martha Frasca-Rivera, and I am the owner slash curator of the sanctuary.
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So curator is just a glorified word for pooper scooper.
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And owner is just a glorified word for someone who has to make sure the taxes are paid.
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But I am responsible for the daily care of over 100 animals.
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Martha lives with her husband and kids.
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We bought a zoo comes to mind, because this place really does seem like a zoo, but it s mostly populated by pets that had no place else to go.
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Martha s agreed to show me around, to help me get my head around how different pet ownership is in Florida to back in New Zealand.
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Sergeant and Marble, a goose and a duck, follow us the entire time.
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They like attention.
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Martha volunteered here for 10 years and then managed it for four.
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When the owner passed away, she was the only logical choice to take over.
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Each day she gets called about a new animal in need of a new home.
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So I found a baby raccoon and I ve had it for three months and it was so friendly and now it wants to bite my face off.
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Babies are cute and they re always going to be cute all the time.
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until they reach sexual maturity and are like, I m going to kill you.
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She tells me the most common calls she gets are from people wanting to get rid of their parrots, as well as tortoises, which people buy when they re really tiny, but grow into a hundred pound units.
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A lot of the animals we get come from breeders who no longer want to breed them.
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And then, of course, now they re not making money off of this animal and its babies.
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So Suki came from a breeder.
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She was pregnant when she arrived.
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She had Grayson, who s currently hiding behind his igloo because he doesn t like strangers.
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Suki and Grayson are Japanese snow macaques.
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Those monkeys you see in photos where they re always sitting in some natural hot springs in Japan, surrounded by snow.
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Oh my God, this is a Florida panther.
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Florida panther.
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So Simba is going to be moved to the back.
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Simba s wondering where his treats are because I didn t give him any this morning.
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This is Sable.
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She is a Florida panther.
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She was brought to us when she was a cub.
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She was also born and bred under human care, meaning that she isn t a wild Florida panther.
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So state law is you can t release them.
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Simba is pacing up and down, purring her head off.
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I like cats.
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I like patting them on their little heads and rubbing their fat bellies when they roll over.
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But a panther?
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I m not sold.
1
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Why is it that in Florida people do keep these more exotic pets?
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Is it still legal to have a pet panther?
1
SPEAKER_02
Unfortunately, yes.
1
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That seems mad.
1
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Yep.
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I see this from the back end of it as a sanctuary.
1
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Are there people that are capable of taking excellent care of these type of animals?
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Yes, there are.
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I m not going to sit here and tell you that there are not.
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Are there far more people that get these type of animals that are incapable of properly caring for them?
1
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Absolutely.
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You know, why would you remove an animal from its owner if they re doing a great job of taking care of it?
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I think I would just make the laws stricter.
1
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She says you do have to have a permit to own a panther, but in Florida, people find ways to get around that.
1
SPEAKER_02
People buy these animals, and then guess what?
1
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A year or two later, calling me or calling another sanctuary and saying, hey, I can t have this 400-pound panther or this crocodile or this skunk or this macaw because of X, Y, and Z. You know, Simba, we re his fifth home.
1
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He was a case of where if we didn t take him in, he had to be euthanized.
1
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I go to look at the website for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission and see there are three classes of wildlife.
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Class 1 is the super dangerous stuff.
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You can t keep them as personal pets.
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Rhinos, for example.
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You need to be a zoo.
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Class 2 is stuff you can keep as personal pets.
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A pyramid s $140 a year.
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And if you re successful, you can get things like monkeys and giraffes.
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And Class 3 is super wide.
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You can get a permit for free and when you re 16.
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And suddenly you can get raccoons, marmosets, tamarins, lemurs, possums, foxes, wallabies and zebras.
1
SPEAKER_04
I know you re not an expert on policy or anything, but why did they suddenly decide that those animals, some lizards and a snake, were illegal and yet everything else is kind of fine to keep as a pet?
1
SPEAKER_02
Because they re dipshits.
1
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And you don t have to edit that out.
1
SPEAKER_04
We ve arrived in front of a bunch of what look like very big dogs.
1
SPEAKER_02
So we do have five wolves.
1
SPEAKER_02
Hi, Raven.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s OK, mamas.
1
SPEAKER_04
They re class three animals, meaning, yes, they can be a pet here.
1
SPEAKER_02
Just watch your fingers.
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Oh, they re beautiful.
1
SPEAKER_02
Thank you.
1
SPEAKER_02
Thank you.
1
SPEAKER_02
Thank you.
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SPEAKER_02
So they came from a different facility.
1
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That s Raven.
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Frady s in the front and Aria s the one in the back.
1
SPEAKER_02
And they are sweet.
1
SPEAKER_02
You could probably pick up and
2
SPEAKER_03
take Arya with you, and she would just be like, oh, we re going?
2
SPEAKER_03
OK, let s go.
2
SPEAKER_03
They re not as trained as my other wolves are, but we re working on it.
2
SPEAKER_02
What s the difference between a wolf and a dog, personality-wise?
2
SPEAKER_02
I feel like we re all scared of wolves.
2
SPEAKER_02
We re not scared of dogs.
2
SPEAKER_03
You don t have to be scared of the wolves, you just have to respect them.
2
SPEAKER_03
I can go in with these guys and they just hang around.
2
SPEAKER_03
However, if I fell to the floor, started bleeding and having a seizure, yeah, they would probably be like, oh, pray?
2
SPEAKER_03
Sure.
2
SPEAKER_02
What s that smell?
2
SPEAKER_02
Is that a bit of skunk wafting over?
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, we re going to go see.
2
SPEAKER_02
You can keep skunks as pets here as well.
2
SPEAKER_02
They get de-glanded so they can t spray.
2
SPEAKER_02
When they re annoyed, they ll turn their butts to you and just fire blanks.
2
SPEAKER_02
But they re still a skunk and still have a very strong musk.
2
SPEAKER_02
That never goes away, so people get them as pets, get sick of the musk, and then give them up.
2
SPEAKER_02
We pass Zulu, a zebra.
2
SPEAKER_02
He was owned by a family who wanted to ride him like a horse.
2
SPEAKER_02
But zebras aren t horses, and they re not for riding.
2
SPEAKER_02
Next to Zulu is Kenya, a brown lemur, who s as old as I am.
2
SPEAKER_03
Kenya is our oldest boy here.
2
SPEAKER_03
He s in his forties.
2
SPEAKER_02
Zulu s owner removed all his teeth, because they didn t want to get bitten.
2
SPEAKER_02
So now he lives here, with no teeth.
2
SPEAKER_02
His tongue hangs out to the side, which is what happens when you ve got no teeth.
2
SPEAKER_02
His best friend is a rabbit.
2
SPEAKER_02
And there in the next enclosure is Fiona, the skunk I smelt earlier.
2
SPEAKER_02
Next to Fiona, two grey foxes.
2
SPEAKER_03
Fern and cypress, they re just turning a year old soon, and they re very sweet, but they re a little skittish.
2
SPEAKER_02
Fern in Cyprus is small and lean and fairly slinky.
2
SPEAKER_02
Next door to them is a red fox.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s much fluffier and lets me pat him.
2
SPEAKER_02
There s a porcupine called Susan.
2
SPEAKER_02
I can t pat Susan.
2
SPEAKER_02
It would go badly.
2
SPEAKER_02
She or he?
2
SPEAKER_03
She.
2
SPEAKER_03
She s an African crested porcupine.
2
SPEAKER_02
You can really see the spines, can t you?
2
SPEAKER_03
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_03
They don t shoot them, though.
2
SPEAKER_03
That s just a myth.
2
SPEAKER_02
I look to my left and see a camel leering down at me.
2
SPEAKER_02
He weighs 2,000 pounds and his name is Chewy.
2
SPEAKER_02
Where did this camel come from?
2
SPEAKER_02
Why do you have a fucking camel?
2
SPEAKER_03
You know, I ask myself that every day.
2
SPEAKER_03
He s 17 now.
2
SPEAKER_03
He was born in 2005 from a camel breeder in Florida.
2
SPEAKER_03
Why was someone breeding camels?
2
SPEAKER_03
I couldn t tell you.
2
SPEAKER_02
What is the animal that is the hardest to look up to you and say that gives you the most of your time?
2
SPEAKER_03
We haven t met her yet, but we will.
2
SPEAKER_03
Millie, our lion.
2
SPEAKER_03
She s epileptic.
2
SPEAKER_03
She s off display.
2
SPEAKER_03
She has seizures.
2
SPEAKER_03
They are controlled.
2
SPEAKER_03
We do have our medications.
2
SPEAKER_02
Monica, who I do the show with, has epilepsy and has little seizures now and then.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yep.
2
SPEAKER_03
She s been the animal I ve had to do the most with medically.
2
SPEAKER_02
Also much like Monica, Millie is high-maintenance and likes talking.
2
SPEAKER_03
Hi, my love.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
Tell them.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_03
And then what happened?
2
SPEAKER_03
Come over here, though.
2
SPEAKER_03
There we go.
2
SPEAKER_03
Say hi.
2
SPEAKER_03
Hi.
2
SPEAKER_03
I know.
2
SPEAKER_03
You know, she s super sweet.
2
SPEAKER_03
I m very comfortable with her.
2
SPEAKER_03
But I understand, obviously, she s still a lion.
2
SPEAKER_03
Like when I say comfortable, listeners don t freak out.
2
SPEAKER_03
It s not like I go in there and think she s a toy at all.
2
SPEAKER_03
She s a lion.
2
SPEAKER_03
I fully am aware of that.
2
SPEAKER_02
Please tell me you can t keep these as pets here.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yes, you can.
2
SPEAKER_02
Millie eats 12 to 15 pounds of food a day, all meat, chicken and pork and steak and fish, with bone, without bone.
2
SPEAKER_02
As I stare at a lion which you can keep as a pet, a tiny house cat walks up, called Tiger.
2
SPEAKER_02
Tiger gets close to Millie s enclosure, but not too close.
2
SPEAKER_02
Aren t humans weird?
2
SPEAKER_02
Most of us are content with having the smaller one as a pet.
2
SPEAKER_02
Others want the lion.
2
SPEAKER_02
One thing I learned is that both of them, house cat and lion, love nothing more than cramming their big butts into a cardboard box.
2
SPEAKER_03
I get appliances or big boxes in, Simba will give it to Simba and Simba will sit in them.
2
SPEAKER_03
If it fits, it sits.
2
SPEAKER_02
If it fits, it sits.
2
SPEAKER_02
A rule to live by.
2
SPEAKER_02
As we wrap up our tour of Florida s favorite pets, I tell her about the Burmese pythons I ve been hearing about.
2
SPEAKER_02
She tells me that since they all got loose and started breeding here, they re now illegal to have as pets.
2
SPEAKER_02
Last year Florida passed legislation that meant a bunch of high-risk reptiles are completely off the table.
2
SPEAKER_03
So now it s illegal to own Burmese pythons, tegus and iguanas.
2
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_03
I understand the environmental impact that they have, however,
2
SPEAKER_03
What do you think an owner s going to do with their tiger they ve had 10 years that they can t get a permit for?
2
SPEAKER_03
Do you think they re going to euthanize it or do you think they re just going to release it?
2
SPEAKER_03
They re going to release it.
2
SPEAKER_02
And that s the catch.
2
SPEAKER_02
Lots of owners really care for their pets.
2
SPEAKER_02
They re not all tiger king maniacs out to make a buck.
2
SPEAKER_02
For some Floridians, a big lizard really is just their best friend.
2
SPEAKER_02
And these new reptile rules have put them in a tricky position.
2
SPEAKER_02
It can be tricky for Martha, too, because sanctuaries like hers can t take some of them in because they re not permitted for her.
2
SPEAKER_02
The only person that can own that particular reptile is the one who got the permit in the first place.
2
SPEAKER_02
Bureaucracy gone a bit mad, Martha and her sanctuary kind of stuck in the middle of it all.
2
SPEAKER_02
She finds herself surrounded by animals she loves, but animals she wishes she never had to look after in the first place.
2
SPEAKER_02
On the way out, we walk past some lizards and snakes, a donkey, and some goats called Sandy, Coconut, Nutella, Clyde, Cookie, and Big Mike.
2
SPEAKER_02
Like many of the animals here, the goats are cheeky and time-consuming, but Martha says thankfully, they re not dipshits.
2
SPEAKER_03
Animals are easy.
2
SPEAKER_03
You can tell if they like you, don t like you.
2
SPEAKER_03
You can tell what they need for the most part.
2
SPEAKER_03
Humans are complicated.
2
SPEAKER_03
I d rather have the easy.
2
SPEAKER_02
Stay tuned for more Flightless Bird.
2
SPEAKER_02
We ll be right back after a word from our sponsors.
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Just turns up at the front door, open the box and it all just sort of pops.
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I m with her.
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Going around that sanctuary and looking at all these animals and going, oh, all of these were once pets.
2
SPEAKER_02
And that s just what people do in Florida.
2
SPEAKER_00
But I m definitely going to push back on... You being like the lion?
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
What the fuck?
2
SPEAKER_03
An epileptic lion.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
I mean, we do have that in common, Millie and I. Little seizures now and then.
2
SPEAKER_00
But I am not high maintenance.
2
SPEAKER_00
Who s maintaining me?
2
SPEAKER_00
I m a single woman.
2
SPEAKER_00
What are you talking about?
2
SPEAKER_01
It was just, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
I, look, I just saw that lion and I just thought, Monica.
2
SPEAKER_00
Two peas in a pod.
2
SPEAKER_00
Two peas in a pod.
2
SPEAKER_01
Set them up in a house together.
2
SPEAKER_00
I do find lions very majestic and tigers actually, but I mean.
2
SPEAKER_01
They re pretty cool.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t want them near me.
2
SPEAKER_02
That Florida panther also that was purring, that was so gnarly and amazing.
2
SPEAKER_02
The weird thing is walking around there, because I love animals, right?
2
SPEAKER_02
So I m in there going, oh, I would actually love that as a pet.
2
SPEAKER_02
So I ve got that thing in my brain that is the problem.
2
SPEAKER_00
I imagine you in this environment, you re in heaven there.
2
SPEAKER_00
Let loose.
2
SPEAKER_02
If we were based in Florida, I think my life would be very different.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, because it s wrong.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I agree.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s the thing.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s totally wrong, but I would really have to resist doing it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
I think you re
2
SPEAKER_00
morals are just high enough that you wouldn t do it.
2
SPEAKER_02
Just over the threshold.
2
SPEAKER_00
But also when you guys are pushing back a little bit on the new law that you can t own these, what will be the apex predator, 100% that has to be a law.
2
SPEAKER_00
It absolutely has to be a law.
2
SPEAKER_00
You can t just say, well, some people,
2
SPEAKER_00
are doing a good job, so no, there has to be legislation around an apex predator.
2
SPEAKER_02
But at some point, you ve got to be like, no, you just can t own any of this stuff.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
I think the thing she s frustrated with being someone that gets lumped with everything is what do you do with all this shit?
3
SPEAKER_02
Like if you could click your fingers and just make none of that stuff, you know, no pets of those kind for the last 50 years, it d be great.
3
SPEAKER_04
Maybe the zoos should have some sort of honestly buyback system for these snakes.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it sounds like it s just insane.
3
SPEAKER_02
I was reading, I jotted this down.
3
SPEAKER_02
The Port of Miami handles more herpetological imports, which I might be wrong on this, but I think that covers like snakes and lizards, reptiles, handles more imports than any other US port.
3
SPEAKER_02
500,000 reptiles with a declared value of over $6 million arrived there just in 2018.
3
SPEAKER_02
So that s the scale we re talking about.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s
3
SPEAKER_02
bonkers.
3
SPEAKER_02
And so where do you begin?
3
SPEAKER_04
It has to be illegal.
3
SPEAKER_04
I mean, that s how you begin.
3
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
Just stop.
3
SPEAKER_02
Just stop the whole thing.
3
SPEAKER_04
Stop it.
3
SPEAKER_04
How is it compared to other states?
3
SPEAKER_04
Have you looked into that at all?
3
SPEAKER_02
No.
3
SPEAKER_02
All I know is it is much, much, much more.
3
SPEAKER_02
And it s a client.
3
SPEAKER_02
I know that s not a great stat.
3
SPEAKER_02
But it is like Florida does blow the others out of the water and it s just because it s really warm.
3
SPEAKER_02
And so all these exotic animals that are used to much warmer climates, they d die in an LA winter, whereas Florida, they re happy as Larry.
3
SPEAKER_04
That s true, I m sure that does have an impact, but as far as laws, like I m sure our laws on exotic animals here in California are much- Oh, so tight.
3
SPEAKER_04
Exactly.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh no, and they always have been.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s just, yeah, Florida is this, just in general seems to be kind of like just this wild place where old people live in villages of 120,000 people.
3
SPEAKER_04
Oh, do you want to update people on the villages?
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh, on the gossip site, I sent you a few clips.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, the village s gossip pages are batshit insane.
3
SPEAKER_02
And no, it s awful.
3
SPEAKER_02
There s been a couple of horrific crashes because you ll be going through and it s golf cart and pond, you know, man angry at new rules about how to paint your house.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then it s horrific car crash between golf cart and car.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
the most batshit news site of all time.
3
SPEAKER_04
With like a lady like half out.
3
SPEAKER_04
It looks like, it honestly feels like The Onion.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, no, it does.
3
SPEAKER_02
But it s real.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s deranged.
3
SPEAKER_02
You know, it s a really, it s kind of a bad, I mean, yeah, it s kind of bad taste how they run that site.
3
SPEAKER_02
I know.
3
SPEAKER_02
It is like the TMZ for this old folks home.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s really weird.
3
SPEAKER_04
Anyway, I mean, Florida, God.
3
SPEAKER_04
How many more Florida episodes do we have?
3
SPEAKER_02
We ve got another one after this.
3
SPEAKER_04
What a place.
3
SPEAKER_04
I know it, but I forget.
3
SPEAKER_04
Each episode, I m reminded.
3
SPEAKER_02
So far, I ve met this woman who rescues pets.
3
SPEAKER_02
I wanted to meet someone who is involved in the actual trade of these animals a little bit.
3
SPEAKER_02
The longer I ve spent in Florida, the more I enjoy going to Buc-ee s.
3
SPEAKER_02
I ve mentioned Buc-ee s on the show before.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s hard to tell if it s more gas station or convenience store.
3
SPEAKER_02
So on the way to my next destination, I pull off the freeway to get some gas.
3
SPEAKER_02
And yes, it s a Buc-ee s.
3
SPEAKER_02
Inside I run into an older couple, Donna and Tony, that have a trolley filled to the brim with Buc-ee s merchandise.
3
SPEAKER_02
I figure they can really clear up what this place is all about.
3
SPEAKER_00
Buc-ee s is a large gas station who started in Texas, and they have expanded.
3
SPEAKER_00
They have at least 100 gas pumps at each store.
3
SPEAKER_00
No semis are allowed.
3
SPEAKER_00
And it s a oversized dollar general store with food, sweet goods, anything you can think of, and a lot of Buc-ee s stuff.
3
SPEAKER_01
Our son-in-law collects the Bucky shirts.
3
SPEAKER_01
We get him one every time we come, and they re always different.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then we got our great-nephew s pajamas for Christmas, and they ve outgrown them, and they cry because they can t wear them every night.
3
SPEAKER_00
And the biggest thing is they have barbecue sandwiches and stuff here.
3
SPEAKER_00
And they re brisket sandwiches.
3
SPEAKER_00
Have you had one?
3
SPEAKER_02
I haven t had brisket sandwich yet.
3
SPEAKER_01
You have to have one.
3
SPEAKER_01
You have to have one.
3
SPEAKER_00
You have to try it.
3
SPEAKER_00
And people that come here,
3
SPEAKER_00
I tell you, I don t know if anybody gets out of here the first time in less than an hour.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, Buc-ee s is crazy.
3
SPEAKER_00
And the thing of it is, you walk into them and they re always packed.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t care if it s 9 o clock at night or 10 or in the middle of the night.
3
SPEAKER_00
We travel from here to Indiana a lot.
3
SPEAKER_00
Get into one in Georgia in the middle of the night, it ll be just as busy as this one is right now.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s heaving in here today.
3
SPEAKER_02
And before I go, about an hour later, I go and get a brisket sandwich.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s really good.
3
SPEAKER_02
So far in this episode, I ve talked to a gladesman who wrestles Burmese pythons into his airboat so he can sell them for $75 a foot.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I ve talked to a woman who s been tasked with looking after the exotic pets no one else will look after.
3
SPEAKER_02
But I wanted to talk to someone affected by the recent changes to Florida s exotic pet laws.
3
SPEAKER_02
The laws that say you can no longer breed or keep certain lizards and amphibians here in the Sunshine State.
3
SPEAKER_02
I wanted to meet someone from the exotic pet trade.
3
SPEAKER_02
And so I ve been given the name of a man who simply goes by Snakes.
3
SPEAKER_02
So that s why I m pulling into this driveway in Jensen Beach at about 7.30pm at night.
3
SPEAKER_02
Hello Dave.
3
SPEAKER_02
This is Halo.
3
SPEAKER_02
This is Halo.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s Balfazar.
3
SPEAKER_02
Hello Balfazar.
3
SPEAKER_02
I ve been greeted by three very friendly jumpy dogs.
3
SPEAKER_02
They lick and just generally make me feel welcome.
3
SPEAKER_02
After about 10 minutes of patting those good boys, I turn my attention to the man they call Snakes.
3
SPEAKER_02
So, your nickname is Snakes.
3
SPEAKER_02
Can you please explain this to me?
3
SPEAKER_03
I started with snakes and lizards when I was six years old.
3
SPEAKER_03
I came down from New York, and while everybody else was playing baseball, football, I was catching lizards.
3
SPEAKER_03
And there was a guy in West Palm Beach that would take the lizards and snakes and turtles and would give you money for them, and he would send them up north.
3
SPEAKER_03
A lizard would be 10 cents, and he d sell them up there for $10.
3
SPEAKER_03
Not a bad deal.
3
SPEAKER_03
Not at all, because he had 11 kids to take care of.
3
SPEAKER_02
The Wildlife Commission estimates the reptile industry is worth between $50 to $200 million.
3
SPEAKER_02
The Port of Miami handles more amphibian and reptile imports than any other port in the US.
3
SPEAKER_02
2018 saw half a million new reptiles arrive, with a street value of $6.4 million.
3
SPEAKER_02
For snakes, as in the person, Florida was the dream place to realize his childhood dreams.
3
SPEAKER_03
So ever since then, I ve been into the trade and raised a lot of different things, the birds, the turtles, the snakes, lizards.
3
SPEAKER_02
I feel like Florida is where, do we call it exotic pets?
3
SPEAKER_02
Is that the right term?
3
SPEAKER_03
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_03
The only issue with that now is that so many people would buy them and let them go.
3
SPEAKER_03
And that s the reason why now we have the issues with the snakes, which I m sure you ve heard.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
I was in the Everglades and someone mentioned to me that there are a bunch of snakes that got either.
3
SPEAKER_02
Thousands of them.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
Some of them are getting big and they re like eating the alligators.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh yeah, they re 15, 20 feet long.
3
SPEAKER_02
So what went wrong?
3
SPEAKER_02
Because obviously some people keep pets in a really safe way and they know what they re doing.
3
SPEAKER_02
Other people seem to get out of their depth very quickly.
3
SPEAKER_03
The problem that gives this a bad name because the fact of even the venomous is that people don t know what they re doing.
3
SPEAKER_03
You know, they look at that like a puppy in the window and say, hey, I want that.
3
SPEAKER_03
You know, there s actually an average of 800,000
3
SPEAKER_03
Guanas die before the first year in the U.S.
3
SPEAKER_03
because people don t know what they re doing.
3
SPEAKER_03
And the same thing with the snake.
3
SPEAKER_03
They get too big, they let it go, and they think it s okay.
3
SPEAKER_03
There s so many invasive species in here, and they re destroying everything.
3
SPEAKER_02
Snake says he knows a guy who had about 500 snakes at a warehouse that got hit by Hurricane Andrew.
3
SPEAKER_02
And yeah, they all got loose.
3
SPEAKER_02
With this sort of thing in the back of my mind, I want to know what he thinks about the recent law changes.
3
SPEAKER_02
Changes that affect his own work.
3
SPEAKER_03
I think it s a good move, but at the same time, I mean, they re trying to ban everything, which it s a multi-million dollar business.
3
SPEAKER_03
It s the exotic trade.
3
SPEAKER_03
You have people that will actually send cobras through the mail to a 14-year-old kid.
3
SPEAKER_03
But at the same time, you know, I mean, with people who have reputable businesses, now you can t sell them.
3
SPEAKER_03
And that s my livelihood.
3
SPEAKER_03
Some of these snakes go for $20,000, $30,000, believe it or not.
3
SPEAKER_02
As we ve been talking, Snake s gotten a tiny little snake out of a terrarium that s been sitting on the kitchen bench.
3
SPEAKER_03
This is a very cute little guy.
3
SPEAKER_03
This is actually a Brooks King snake, and he s actually getting ready to shed.
3
SPEAKER_02
I ask him if he s ever had a good snake bite.
3
SPEAKER_02
He s had a few.
3
SPEAKER_02
The worst from a rattlesnake.
3
SPEAKER_03
I wondered what happened to the snake.
3
SPEAKER_03
So I ended up bringing her home, because I was going to actually sell her, which I did.
3
SPEAKER_03
And the girl that I was dating at the time, I slept on the couch for a week because of that.
3
SPEAKER_03
She s like, are you kidding me?
3
SPEAKER_03
That snake almost killed you?
3
SPEAKER_02
How much did you sell it for?
3
SPEAKER_03
I actually sold it for, I think, $50.
3
SPEAKER_03
So yeah.
3
SPEAKER_03
Was it worth it?
3
SPEAKER_03
It wasn t worth it.
3
SPEAKER_04
Get out of my life.
3
SPEAKER_02
Snake s partner Jen starts singing Get Outta My Life.
3
SPEAKER_02
I kinda figure she has a love-hate relationship with Snake s passion.
4
SPEAKER_01
Some people do.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, side note, I saw on Facebook that stores are now offering, there s a couple in the country that are offering hedgehogs.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
And meerkats.
4
SPEAKER_03
Meerkats for sale!
4
SPEAKER_00
I should note that there are few people in this house.
4
SPEAKER_00
All friends, all big fans of exotic animals.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think they ve come because they re curious about the podcast.
4
SPEAKER_00
Derek is Irish and moved to America 20 years ago.
4
SPEAKER_00
He s still got a heavy accent and like me marvels at all the animals here in Florida.
4
SPEAKER_02
We ve had black widow spiders on our scooters.
4
SPEAKER_02
We had raccoons that were just eating all the cat food.
4
SPEAKER_00
I admit I struggle with his accent.
4
SPEAKER_00
Is this how Monica and Rob and Dax hear me?
4
SPEAKER_00
Is this what I m like?
4
SPEAKER_00
Is this why there are so many crossed wires?
4
SPEAKER_02
I ve seen so many people driving over box tortoises.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s actually upsetting.
4
SPEAKER_02
What s the word you re saying?
4
SPEAKER_02
A box tortoise.
4
SPEAKER_01
A black turtle.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, a turtle.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
I still, to this day, cannot be comfortable when you see like a raccoon eating stuff out the garbage, or you see a possum hissing at you, or you walk out there and it s like a black razor snake, which is this size.
4
SPEAKER_04
Oh, there s one that lives right out there.
4
SPEAKER_02
One lives out there.
4
SPEAKER_02
This is how I feel.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Because we re not used to that.
4
SPEAKER_02
And it s like, OK, there s a snake in my yard.
4
SPEAKER_02
Who do you call?
4
SPEAKER_00
Derek leads me from the kitchen and through into the lounge.
4
SPEAKER_00
It turns out this is his house.
4
SPEAKER_00
Snakes didn t want me to meet him at his house, probably too many snakes, so we re at Derek s.
4
SPEAKER_00
There s a big indoor pool, and it s full of big, shiny carp.
4
SPEAKER_00
One drifts to the surface, and Derek reaches down and gives it a scratch on its scaly orange head.
4
SPEAKER_02
I would say that a fish is almost like having
4
SPEAKER_00
Derek likes having the fish inside so they can watch TV with him.
4
SPEAKER_02
Fish love watching TV.
4
SPEAKER_02
The fish will watch TV to calm them down.
4
SPEAKER_02
They will change their attitude to what you re watching.
4
SPEAKER_03
I believe that.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Next to the fish is what looks like a giant birdcage, but inside are a pair of sugar gliders.
4
SPEAKER_00
Tiny possums that have these flaps between their front legs and back legs, so when they jump, they can stretch out their arms and legs and glide.
4
SPEAKER_01
But it s amazing what you can find down here in South Florida.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, crazy.
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, my mother said, when you move out, you can have whatever you want.
4
SPEAKER_01
And my mother s been gone for 30 years, but you know what?
4
SPEAKER_01
She could see what I ve had over the years.
4
SPEAKER_00
Snakes has one last dream he wants to fulfill, owning a special type of raccoon.
4
SPEAKER_00
As for changes to what he s allowed to import to sell and trade, he says he ll be okay, he s got another job that ll get him by.
4
SPEAKER_00
And he says a story he heard from his friend shows why things do need to get a little more under control here in Florida.
4
SPEAKER_01
His wife texts him a picture of a snake that she saw in her yard.
4
SPEAKER_01
He s like, are you kidding me?
4
SPEAKER_01
That s a gaboom viper.
4
SPEAKER_01
Four inch fangs.
4
SPEAKER_01
The biggest fangs of any snake from South Africa.
4
SPEAKER_01
What the hell is it doing in Port St.
4
SPEAKER_01
Lucie in somebody s backyard?
4
SPEAKER_00
It s a good question.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I just hope there aren t too many of them out tonight.
4
SPEAKER_00
I like snakes and I like his family and friends.
4
SPEAKER_00
They bring out a bottle of whiskey when the interview s over and I stay for a few more hours.
4
SPEAKER_00
I can feel the fish looking at me.
4
SPEAKER_00
Our discussion sounds like what discussion sounds like when everyone is drinking whiskey.
4
SPEAKER_00
And before we go, Snake s partner Jen takes my microphone, insisting she wants to play interviewer.
4
SPEAKER_00
What makes you the happiest in life?
4
SPEAKER_00
I think being around people that... In Jensen Beach?
4
SPEAKER_03
People in Jensen Beach.
4
SPEAKER_03
I m sorry.
4
SPEAKER_03
Sorry.
4
SPEAKER_03
Cut.
4
SPEAKER_03
Cut.
4
SPEAKER_00
Cut.
4
SPEAKER_03
Okay, stop.
4
SPEAKER_03
Anyway.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think being around people who are passionate and are doing interesting things.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s what makes me excited.
4
SPEAKER_03
What makes you sad about life?
4
SPEAKER_00
It s a good question, but no one needs to listen to a drunk interview.
4
SPEAKER_03
Turn off his microphone.
4
SPEAKER_00
I feel like in another life, the animal-loving me could happily live here in Florida, surrounded by exotic pets.
4
SPEAKER_00
But as both Snakes and Martha from the Everglades Outpost Sanctuary said, the balance is all a bit off.
4
SPEAKER_00
Pythons are eating alligators in the Everglades.
4
SPEAKER_00
and vipers with four-inch fangs are crawling around in people s backyards.
4
SPEAKER_00
There s a cost associated with bringing a bunch of random animals into a new environment.
4
SPEAKER_00
A cost to deciding that a wild animal should be relegated to being someone s pet.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I guess that cost is what Florida s figuring out.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it was a pretty wild night, actually.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, they re very generous.
4
SPEAKER_00
They all came over, they bought out a whiskey, which is honey infused.
4
SPEAKER_00
So it was the sweetest, most intense drink I ve ever had.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I think it s the first time on this podcast where I have gotten a bit
4
SPEAKER_00
Drunk.
4
SPEAKER_04
No, on Thanksgiving too.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s right.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what the policy is on the show about drinking.
4
SPEAKER_00
We re pro-drinking.
4
SPEAKER_04
Okay, wow.
4
SPEAKER_04
I feel like I m emerging out of a fever dream.
4
SPEAKER_00
It was chaos.
4
SPEAKER_00
The fish were there looking at us.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, he did scratch that little fish s head, by the way.
4
SPEAKER_00
There were snakes.
4
SPEAKER_00
Everyone was getting rowdy.
4
SPEAKER_00
What a cast of characters.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it was pretty wild.
4
SPEAKER_00
They keep texting, wanting to know when the episode s out.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I guess I ll text them and let them know.
4
SPEAKER_04
They seem very fun.
4
SPEAKER_00
They were a lot of fun.
4
SPEAKER_04
I mean, I appreciate that he recognizes that a lot of people don t know how to be pet owners to exotic animals.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, be responsible owners.
4
SPEAKER_04
Be responsible.
4
SPEAKER_04
But you know, they just can t, they can t be allowed.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I think I identify so strongly with them, with birds, because I, my entire life, have had pet parrots.
4
SPEAKER_00
I look after them really well.
4
SPEAKER_00
They re in cages.
4
SPEAKER_00
I let them out when I m home and they sort of flap around and do their thing.
4
SPEAKER_00
I like to think they ve had a good life.
4
SPEAKER_04
Right.
4
SPEAKER_00
But also, people shouldn t probably keep birds.
4
SPEAKER_00
Birds should be free, and the more they re kept, the more people will breed them to give them to people like me.
4
SPEAKER_00
Some of them will be good owners, like I argue I am.
4
SPEAKER_00
Other people will be terrible.
4
SPEAKER_00
What they should do is probably
4
SPEAKER_00
shut down bird like parrot ownership.
4
SPEAKER_00
Right.
4
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
4
SPEAKER_04
Because it does, no pun intended, breed an industry.
4
SPEAKER_04
Completely.
4
SPEAKER_04
There s so much money involved that people can t say no or can t turn it down.
4
SPEAKER_04
And then you re in this position where the animals are
4
SPEAKER_00
Captive completely not every exotic pet breeder is like Joe exotic who is just an awful human a lot of them are but if you do get these people that are not like that and that sort of caught between a rock and a hard place because the income is from that but I agree it shouldn t be.
4
SPEAKER_04
In the middle, when I was listening to this, he mentioned how much money there is and so it should be allowed, basically.
4
SPEAKER_04
And I said, well, the drug cartel also makes a ton of money and is an entire industry.
4
SPEAKER_04
That doesn t mean it should be happening.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, just because someone s livelihood is based on a thing doesn t mean it should be two thumbs up, or steam ahead.
4
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s a weird thing to think about.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it also, I know if you expand out again, it gets into things like, and again, using myself as an example, growing up,
4
SPEAKER_00
I used to keep pure bred Berman cats because we d show them in cat shows.
4
SPEAKER_00
Right.
4
SPEAKER_00
And that s kind of messed up breeding specific breeds of animals for people to spend a thousand dollars on or whatever, like a fancy dog is or a fancy cat.
4
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
When you could just be getting a rescue from a shelter.
4
SPEAKER_04
There are so many animals that already exist that need homes instead of making more and more and more.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think any industry based around animal transport and breeding gets dicey.
4
SPEAKER_00
I ve now been involved in it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m biased probably at times.
4
SPEAKER_04
I find this very weird because I keep finding, as this episode has gone on, I keep finding parallels to the gun industry.
4
SPEAKER_04
To me, they re...
4
SPEAKER_04
It s so similar.
4
SPEAKER_04
All these imports, there s so many already out there.
4
SPEAKER_04
What do we do about those?
4
SPEAKER_04
There s, quote, responsible gun owners versus not responsible gun owners.
4
SPEAKER_00
I hadn t thought about it that way.
4
SPEAKER_04
It s the same thing.
4
SPEAKER_00
They re also deadly.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, they re deadly.
4
SPEAKER_00
They also have huge trade fairs where you can go and look at all these animals and pick them up along the way.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s funny.
4
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, it s very funny and fascinating.
4
SPEAKER_00
Would you have a pet skunk if you de-glanded it, and it just let out a little puff of nothing?
4
SPEAKER_02
No.
4
SPEAKER_02
She wouldn t have a pet dog.
4
SPEAKER_02
Exactly.
4
SPEAKER_00
Why would she have a pet skunk?
4
SPEAKER_04
Dogs are a billion times better than skunks, and I don t want a dog.
4
SPEAKER_04
Although I ve said, I ve sometimes will get a random thought, I should get a dog.
4
SPEAKER_00
Monica.
4
SPEAKER_04
It will pop in.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like a nightmare?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, kind of.
4
SPEAKER_00
At like two in the morning?
4
SPEAKER_04
Maybe during these little seizures of mine.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s a seizure, Monica.
4
SPEAKER_04
Oh, I need to tell my doctor.
4
SPEAKER_04
I ve been having more seizures than I thought.
4
SPEAKER_00
I didn t know this side of you, so occasionally you ll be like, would a dog be maybe the thing?
4
SPEAKER_00
Maybe it could be a good thing to have.
4
SPEAKER_04
Right.
4
SPEAKER_04
It s very fleeting, and it s