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Welcome to this special masterclass.
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We ve brought some of the top experts in the world to help you unlock the power of your life through this specific theme today.
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It s going to be powerful.
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So let s go ahead and dive in.
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What do you think are the keys to manifesting?
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Firstly, did you manifest it or did the universe give you the sign of what to want because that s what it was trying to send you or get you to go towards in the first place, right?
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Is it your voice or is it the universe s voice inside you?
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How do you know?
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Well, yeah.
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That s the number one thing.
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And I think the second thing about manifesting is there s a difference between manifesting a chocolate cake
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Okay, versus manifesting your purpose, your destiny, your soulmates, your life partners, things that are like really your things that were always supposed to be yours and always supposed to come to you.
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I think it s almost egotistical to say you manifested them.
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Or maybe there just needs to be different words.
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Did you put the amount of energy into the right things and grow your consciousness to a level that you were able to then get those things?
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if that s what you want to call manifesting, those are the things.
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And in which case, it s okay to want anything, including money, if it comes from your soul.
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And you almost can t explain why you want that thing.
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If you re going after something you think you want because it s going to give you something else, then that s a short circuit because you might get it, but then, like you said, it might not stay or you might not be fulfilled during it.
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So I think you can manifest anything, but you may as well manifest those things that your soul really wants rather than the things that you think you should be manifesting or from an ego place.
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How do we know when it s a soul desire versus an ego desire that we want to manifest something?
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I think an ego desire is, I want it because it s going to give me something else, like a secondary thing, or because I think I will like myself more, or my parents will like me more when I want it, or I ll be more impressive to others, like you were saying about making other people happy, that kind of stuff.
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In which case, if you really want
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make your parents happy, and that s a true desire from inside, and you really feel this yearning from within that you don t even know why you want your parents to be happy, but maybe that was your karma of your life, then just ask for that.
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Don t short-circuit it by asking for the thing that you think is necessary for you to get that end result.
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Just ask for the end result and let the universe fill in the details, you know?
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But I think when it comes from your soul, you can t explain why you want it.
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You just, it s just this drive of like, and you know, I tell people, you can see in people s design, people who are motivated by money, their soul just wants money.
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Or their soul just wants fame or wants to be recognized or wants to be seen.
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There s nothing inherently evil or wrong about those things, right?
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Because for example, your soul might make you want money so that you move into the house that s next door to the person that you had the greatest karma to heal with.
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We don t know what leads to what.
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So it s not good to judge them by certain things are good to want or bad to want.
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But if you want them from a true purpose, reason, it s coming from inside you and you can t explain why you want it or what you think it s going to give you.
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You just know you want it.
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Why do you think so many people suffer or struggle who are also in personal development and they haven t figured out how to get through to the next level?
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Yeah, I love this question because I think it s so pertinent for this time.
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I think we ve gone through such an awakening of spirituality, but I guess I feel like a lot of people that I speak to, it s almost like they need to feel like I m taking you into account and then doing your personal development based on what is present in you, right?
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Rather than kind of funneling us into these
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things where, I don t know, I felt like more of a failure when I was trying to do all the spiritual stuff and feeling like I wasn t moving my life forward, right?
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When I found this thing of like, do this and do this and don t just take me on a word, but see if your life actually changes, and it did.
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And then from seeing so many testimonials of people just like using this practical manual, that s when I think it empowers you because you feel like you re capable of doing something, rather than just like, here s my thing, trust the universe, go and do your thing and think abundantly.
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How am I not thinking abundantly?
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How does abundant thinking look on me?
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How do I use my specific gifts, right?
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How do I, if I want to be a nurse, what s the best kind of nurse for me to be based on who I am and what I bring to the table, right?
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Because you might be a nurse where you re going to be more in your power and more capable and more valued by being nurturing and really like
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connecting to that part of you, or you might be the nurse who s very good at the ops and the organization and the whatever, right?
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So what s nice about this is it makes you feel more in touch with your personal power because you know what to bring, you know what to lead with.
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And that subconsciously is what people will value you for the most, even if they don t know how.
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We re all reading each other s energy without knowing what we re doing, right?
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But we ll be like, this person is someone who s capable, who I trust, who seems good at what they do.
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We gravitate towards people like that, right?
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And so this is like, everybody is equally genius and powerful, but you have to flex it.
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And these are things that you re going to flex, you re going to get more energy out of, you re going to get more bang for your buck out of, rather than the best nurses are this, the best moms are this.
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Yeah.
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There s, what, 8 billion people in the world right now, and there s probably a lot of them, a majority of them, that will never know their human design, right?
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They re never going to go through the assessment, and I guess it s not an assessment, but the, what do you call it?
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Running a chart?
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Running a chart.
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Probably most people are never going to do that in the world.
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So for those that don t know their own human design.
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How do they fully tap into this, really this wisdom, this knowledge, this power, in order to live a more fulfilling, meaningful life?
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And if they don t know their human design, are they just doomed forever?
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Or do they trust their gut on things better?
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How do they know where they re supposed to go?
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What the roadmap is for them for creating a meaningful, fulfilling life?
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I think the number one thing is that
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We have these very homogenized ideas of the good ways to be, the cool ways to be, the very few things that we ve been taught are gonna lead us to be successful or to be lovable, right?
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So people who we call geniuses are usually like artistically creative, or they re really good at some kind of like tech thing, or they re good at athletic prowess, right?
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They re gifted in some way, yeah.
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Those three things, okay?
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No one is ever gonna raise someone and say the amount of care that you have for people is your USP, and that s gonna make you
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crazy insanely successful right we re not brought up that way right in a similar way um you re not brought up to say okay well as a mom if you re very good at strategizing then that s going to make you the best mom that you can be right but if you can think about those random little things that you maybe think are uncool
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or that might not lead you to anything, and you can back those things, I think you can just do that and not know anything about your design, and just take a bet on those unusual little pockets that aren t everywhere.
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Yeah, these are the underappreciated gifts that a lot of people have.
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You know, when I started
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this show, I remember thinking to myself, I have no idea how to like run a podcast or do the, you know, to do this thing.
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It s not what I was skilled to do, but I ve always been fascinated by people and just curious and always ask these weird random questions.
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And I was like, well, maybe there s something from this.
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So I just tapped into asking weird random questions and people seem to like it.
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But I was listening to that thing within me.
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Okay, here s like a hidden gift that I don t think is valuable, but let s see where it goes.
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By going into that, it worked out for me.
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So what I m hearing you say is like,
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Try to find the hidden gifts within you that maybe don t seem celebrated by others all the time.
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And it s risky.
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I say that lightly, but it s a huge risk because your mind, again, is going to say, no, but how are you ever going to support yourself on that?
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How are you ever going to make money?
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No one s going to think you re cool.
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What are you doing?
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And to be honest with you,
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The fact that we even think there are certain guarantees is an illusion anyway to life.
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So really, this is actually working with reality that everything is an unknown, right?
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But it s really hard, and it s the daily practice of human designers.
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Again, like I said, your design doesn t change, but every single day, to listen to your gut on every single thing, it s hard, and you have to do it in new pockets of your life.
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Right?
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And you have to relearn it and relearn it and get to another level with it and then refine.
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So this mind thing of like, are you sure?
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Are you not crazy?
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Like when I first sat my parents down and told them I was closing my food business to read human design, I mean, I literally thought my highest aspiration would be like, they wheel me out on the lottery with a wig and I read the lucky numbers.
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It wasn t cool.
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It wasn t a thing.
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It was, this is eight, nine years ago now.
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Right?
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I took a chance on that random thing that I didn t know where it was going to lead me, right?
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And it s not the career choice that is going to take us far.
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It s how much we show up and be our most kind of actualized, present, powerful, capable, liking who we are along the way.
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Like, that s the thing that s the magic in people, right?
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It doesn t actually matter what you re doing.
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You can make a fortune out of gardening if you do it the right way.
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Absolutely.
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If you get that zing with it, you know?
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Absolutely.
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Yeah, I think I saw one of your videos on Instagram.
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about like really leaning into your passion in terms of like being passionate about what you re doing and being excited about it because that unlocks new pathways, new doors for you when you re living into that.
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When we re doing something that I feel like we re skilled at but we don t fully fall in love with.
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we re kind of in resistance still.
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Like, okay, yes, I have this talent over here, but my intuition is not telling me that it s what I want to do with my time, you know?
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Or maybe, like, I used to be really good at baseball for a long time, but then when I turned 17, I just didn t have the energy for it anymore.
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I just didn t care enough about it to keep pursuing it, and I started to pursue track and field.
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And great things came out of that decision to leave something I had talent in to pursue something that I was more excited about.
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And I think it s learning how to trust the timing of this as well, when to do this.
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What about in relationships?
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How have you learned?
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about what is a good relationship, whether it be in business partnerships or career or in intimacy, based on human design.
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Okay, so people always ask about like, are generators compatible with this or that or whatever?
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Now, from a human design perspective, if you have chemistry with somebody, you re compatible.
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You just need to learn the other person so that there is no me trying to change you or us trying to be on the same page or me misunderstanding the very innocent reasons why you do something that I m thinking you re sitting down on that chair for a different motivation than you would be sitting down on that chair, right?
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So anybody s compatible with anybody if you re drawn to that person.
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For the time, for the exact amount of time you still are drawn to that person, right?
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But if you can learn someone else s manual, for example, manifesting generators are very fast people, right?
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And so if you re a projector who s with a manifesting generator to honor each other s different speeds, that already gets rid of so much friction, right?
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Or if you understand that somebody, for example, my mom.
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When I did a reading for my mom for the first time and I saw her main gift, everybody has one gift in their life that s their main thing they came here to do.
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when I saw her main gift was about kind of almost being a little bit abrasive and abrupt in order to shake people out of things.
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So my mom would be the person who like, she ll see someone wheeling a baby down the street and she s like, put a hat on that baby, you know?
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And I always used to think that was like rude and inappropriate, but in a way, if you re doing it with the right consciousness, that s obviously another thing, like the way that you animate it.
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There s a purpose for every single role that people play in society, right?
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And so when you know the reason why someone is the way they are,
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You re not judging them anymore.
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You re not thinking that they re wrong.
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You re not trying to fit them in to be more like you.
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And what happens with our differences, if we know them, then I can actually vicariously enjoy yours through you when I m not threatened by them.
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When I don t think that I have to be more like you or you have to be more like me, and I m trying to think who s better or worse.
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Wow.
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So I m like, isn t that so beautiful that your main gift is, you know, whatever it is.
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Well, I know what yours are.
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What is my main gift?
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So, your main gift is number 36, and that s turning darkness into light.
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So, a lot of the stuff that you re here to do is to pull out from the places that people don t necessarily look at or talk about, and to bring them into awareness, to alchemize things that are maybe more negative into more positive things.
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And then your secondary one, and they play nicely together, is really about bonding with people.
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and breaking through barriers, which, I mean, you clearly do.
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I ve known you for an hour, and you re very good at it, right?
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So those two things, I know that I don t have to be them, because you re really good at them, and I m good at other things.
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And then you actually just, like, literally you thrive off seeing other people and their guests.
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It s, like, so much fun, you know?
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So in relationships and in business partnerships, you can do the same thing, where you re like, it s so cool how you do that, and yet there s no part of me that thinks I have to be the same way.
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So the harmony in that is, like,
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Life-changing.
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I mean you were Essentially learning and studying human design for the last what eight or nine years, right?
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You re also in a relationship during that time at some point So, how did you I think your relation for four years you said so, how did you know when you re in the relationship?
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When when it was there was alignment with the relationship versus.
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All right, there s not alignment and
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Or did you miss something in the relationship that you weren t following your own kind of wisdom, your own intuition?
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OK, so my intuition is emotional, which means that we have to make decisions based on how things make us feel, like happy or sad, literally that black and white, right?
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So either we re up here or we re down here.
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And 50% of the population is emotional, which is crazy.
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So what s your energy type?
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I m a projector.
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Projector?
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Yeah.
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OK.
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But my emotional intuition
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What it says is, again, you don t need to understand with your mind why your intuition is telling you what it s telling you.
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That s where we trip up.
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Intuition, you just have to listen to it.
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Just trust it.
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Just trust it.
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Don t try to understand it.
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Don t try to understand it.
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So what our mind does, it comes in secondary and goes, these are the reasons why, and this is the logic, and this was this, and this was that, and it wasn t aligned, and he was this, and that.
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That s all noise.
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So that s why you hear a lot of women that say he looked great on paper Yeah, he had all the things that and my parents thought this was awesome the school He went to where he worked like everything seemed to line up But I just didn t have something inside of me that wanted to commit right?
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Yeah Yeah, it s making decisions with the mind rather than with the body Why do so many people make the decisions with the mind rather than the body?
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Well, to get a little bit historical on you, if you think about where humanity has been for the last couple hundred years, right?
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It has been a lot of top-down sort of control.
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And a population is easier to convince you all to go to war and to, you know, do certain things.
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If this is the logic, we all have to agree on the logic, there s one objective reality, let s all get on the same page, rather than there is no objective reality.
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We re all just here bumping up against each other, doing our random things.
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That s a nightmare, right, for a society?
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There s got to be some order and some organization somewhere, right?
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Yeah.
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But when you think about it, then the people who are in government are supposed to be the people who are very good at coming up with common laws.
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They re very good at people who are being balanced, who are being fair, who come up with how people interact and come together, but giving people their freedom.
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When you re trying to suppress a culture with a religious homogenized belief, then there is this thing that is logic that gets handed down to us that you have to do what makes sense to other people.
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And that s how you get your love and belonging from the tribe is by justifying that what you re doing is for the same reasons that everyone else would want to do the same things.
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So how can women specifically make better decisions in choosing the right male partner for them, if they wanna choose a male partner?
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How can women choose better in relationships?
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This is gonna sound a little crazy, but one of the other big conditionings that we have is that we have to make the right decision that we ensure is gonna make our relationship last forever, and that s a good relationship.
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What you actually want from that is to feel the most amount of love, right?
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You want to be in love and in the energy of love every single day of your life.
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So from that perspective, whether that changes 20 times or once doesn t really matter.
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So for me, that relationship was correct for as long as it lasted.
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Because it grew the amount of love I had in my life until my emotions started telling me otherwise.
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And am I better off because of that relationship?
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Am I more open-hearted because of that relationship?
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Am I more happy with who I am?
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Yes.
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Right?
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So that was not a terrible relationship.
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That was life showing me that was a perfect amount for it to last.
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Oh, okay.
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So a big thing to get rid of is I have to know how my future is going to look in order for me to be happy.
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I actually just need to be happy today.
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And then your tomorrow will start off better and that will compound.
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And then it doesn t matter about the form that it takes because the inside is going to be more actualized, more evolved, more in love, more open hearted, more all the things that we actually want.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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So it comes from kind of letting go of this guarantee to micromanage how the life is going to unfold for you to think of how it needs to look for you to be happy and to do the happiness today and then to trust that that s what activates the rest of the work, the 90% of the unseen forces kind of coming together to make things happen the way that we can t engineer, like opportunities, synchronicities, meeting people out of nowhere, stuff that we couldn t even do if we were the best minds in the planet, right?
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You know, there s something to choosing to being positive and happy and grateful for certain elements of your life and trying to maximize that.
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Because when we maximize that energy, synchronicities unfold, right?
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These unseen forces, for good, show up in our life.
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Or they block us from something bad essentially happening, right?
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Or they move us in a different direction.
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But why do you think there are certain people who seem to have it all but are still choosing to be unhappy?
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not choosing to be grateful for what they have, they re complaining or feeling entitled for what they don t have.
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Why do you think that happens?
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I think that s one of those things where there s many different causes for one symptom.
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Right?
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So on the outside, this person you re saying is ungrateful or unhappy.
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The number one reason I would say is that if you haven t liked who you ve become along the way of getting to what you want, then that s never going to be a happy result, right?
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You can t get to joy if you don t pave it along the way with feeling like you love being who you are.
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And you ve probably been in situations like this in your life before where maybe things are hitting the fan, but you still love
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the fact that you have your own back through it.
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And there s this incredible piece of like, okay, well, we re on this adventure of life.
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The soul wants to experience everything.
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Let s lean into this knowing that I think I m gonna make sure that I m okay, right?
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And that weirdly transforms even the most negative experiences into these like fascinations.
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And I think if you don t know how to do that, then that s already a big, that really takes away from your happiness.
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The second thing is also that
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Again, the brain is addicted to finding something to focus on, right?
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And it could be being focused on creativity, but when it s turned inwards, it s going to look for problems.
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It s going to look for unhappiness.
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That s what s going to happen when you let it run amok in an area that it s not supposed to run amok in.
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And the third one is, I think, is an addiction that we re being programmed with from the outside conditioning of,
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You know, you should find reasons to be unhappy or you grew up around people who were that way and you need to decondition from that automatic pattern.
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That again, like you were saying in the beginning with your parents that condition you, even if they weren t doing it on purpose, it s passed down until you have to be the one that says, you know what, let me not just decide to be rid of it, but let me practice being rid of it today.
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How would I move through my day when I catch this thing come in and I go, uh,
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Uh-huh.
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What else would I do instead and you might feel like an imposter the first time we do because it s not gonna feel natural But even if you can just flex it slightly the universe goes.
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Oh look who s trying to be more themselves Let me go help this person out What was the thing you had to Decondition over the last 10 years that was running your life the most and
2
SPEAKER_00
I think the emotional piece is a really big piece, and this is, I guess, 50% of the population are what s called emotional beings.
2
SPEAKER_00
So you re what s called non-emotional, meaning when you re by yourself, you re cool, calm, and collected.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s only when the world comes to you, or when people come to you, or a situation comes to you, that you feel a certain way.
2
SPEAKER_00
When you re emotional, you can wake up and be happy and feel on top of the world.
2
SPEAKER_00
Same exact situation the next day, and you feel totally different.
2
SPEAKER_00
And for me, I was really brought up when I was in a low mood.
2
SPEAKER_00
What s wrong with you?
2
SPEAKER_00
Why are you upset?
2
SPEAKER_00
Smile.
2
SPEAKER_00
Don t be a spoiled brat.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know, I m English, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
So don t be a spoiled brat.
2
SPEAKER_00
And for me, it was a real judgment about having negative emotions.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I still struggle with it today.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m not rid of it by any stretch of the imagination.
2
SPEAKER_00
I just am more aware of it.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I have levity around when I m doing it to myself.
2
SPEAKER_01
Got you.
2
SPEAKER_01
So you re emotional, I m non-emotional.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re non-emotional.
2
SPEAKER_01
So explain that again, someone who s emotional versus non-emotional.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so you don t generate your own emotions.
2
SPEAKER_00
You are like a mirror and a sponge to the world around you.
2
SPEAKER_00
So there s actually, when we talk about people who are empaths, we really are talking about, in a strict version, we re talking about non-emotionals because you re able to feel what I m feeling.
2
SPEAKER_00
Because I have my own emotional rollercoaster going on, I m actually not able to viscerally tap into your emotions.
2
SPEAKER_01
As an emotional person.
2
SPEAKER_00
As an emotional person.
2
SPEAKER_01
A non-emotional person, I can understand your emotion.
2
SPEAKER_00
You can feel my emotions.
2
SPEAKER_01
That resonates.
2
SPEAKER_01
I feel like I can feel everyone s energy.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
And something that I saw on your Instagram, when you were talking about empaths, you said, we shouldn t be absorbing, we should be observing.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s something you said recently.
2
SPEAKER_01
Don t absorb others  emotions, observe.
2
SPEAKER_00
Observe, yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I think that s interesting because empaths take on the weight of anyone around them.
2
SPEAKER_01
And they feel it, and they feel emotionally drained where they have no energy if they absorb it.
2
SPEAKER_01
So it s learning to notice someone s energy and still be empathetic, but don t absorb it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Observe, connect, but don t let it penetrate your energy center.
2
SPEAKER_01
Don t let it penetrate your soul to where you re now in that state of being as well.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s a hard thing for a lot of people who are in that non-emotional empath state of being.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it is.
2
SPEAKER_00
And it s an interesting one to understand that, you know, when you re not absorbing my stuff, you would be able to show me what I m feeling because I m so mired in it, I have no idea what s going on some of the time.
2
SPEAKER_00
So you would magnify and be able to show me what s going on with me if you re not then taking it on.
2
SPEAKER_00
So let s say for example, I m an emotional.
2
SPEAKER_00
I wake up and let s say I m happy today.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m 2 out of 10 happy, okay?
2
SPEAKER_01
10 out of 10 happy, you said?
2
SPEAKER_00
Let s say, for example, I m 2 out of 10.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, 2 out of 10.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re not happy.
2
SPEAKER_00
Because it goes on a scale, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
So let s say one day I m on a 2 out of 10.
2
SPEAKER_00
I walk in the room, and I see you 6 out of 10 happy.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m like, you look happy today.
2
SPEAKER_00
And you ve become happy because you felt what I ve done, and you ve magnified it, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
And that s beautiful.
2
SPEAKER_00
But I can see it more clearly through you than I can through me.
2
SPEAKER_01
Got it.
2
SPEAKER_00
But that also works on the other side, too, where a lot of non-emotionals get called the most emotional people.
2
SPEAKER_00
Because if I walk in the room 2 out of 10 sad,
2
SPEAKER_01
Two is a, one is the high, sad?
2
SPEAKER_00
One is less, like let s say two out of 10.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay, 10 is the highest, gotcha.
2
SPEAKER_00
So let s say I m two out of 10 sad that day, okay?
2
SPEAKER_00
I walk in the room, you all of a sudden get in a bad mood, and I m like, what s wrong with you?
2
SPEAKER_00
Why are you in a bad mood?
2
SPEAKER_00
And you don t know, because it wasn t there before I walked in, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
You re just able to reflect to me what I m not even aware of.
2
SPEAKER_01
Interesting.
2
SPEAKER_00
And if we have that languaging, then I can be like, thank you so much for showing me what was going on with me today.
2
SPEAKER_00
And instead of going, what s wrong with you?
2
SPEAKER_00
Right?
2
SPEAKER_00
Because you guys are the open, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
You re the open emotional.
2
SPEAKER_00
And so you feel whatever else is going on in the world.
2
SPEAKER_00
Interesting.
2
SPEAKER_00
And we re just like playing our own songs completely unaware.
2
SPEAKER_01
I wonder what my fiance is.
2
SPEAKER_01
I can t remember if she s a manifestor.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think she s a nonspecific manifestor.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if that s a thing, but maybe it s manifestor generator.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_01
But she s positive 90% of the time.
2
SPEAKER_01
She is in a positive,
2
SPEAKER_01
joyful, grateful state consistently.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s very rare for her to be low, low energy.
2
SPEAKER_01
Um, which really is nice for me because I think I ve always in the past been in relationships where I didn t know what I was going to get.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it was harder for me because I would absorb energy and I would feel it and I would allow it to drain me.
2
SPEAKER_01
Now I ve learned how to observe differently and just accept people for where they re at and be there for them in a different way as opposed to taking on their pain and sorrow and trying to like fix it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
That was a wound that I had to learn how to heal.
2
SPEAKER_01
But being in a relationship with someone who is truly grateful for life, that truly loves her life, is a joy.
2
SPEAKER_01
It is like a gift that I hope everyone can experience at some point because
2
SPEAKER_01
It s challenging to be with someone that isn t a happy person consistently.
2
SPEAKER_01
It just is.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it s hard to be with someone for years who you don t know how to help them become happier.
2
SPEAKER_01
And that s something that I experienced because I chose based on a wound and nothing wrong with them, but just felt like it was always harder because they weren t happy.
2
SPEAKER_01
I hope everyone can get to that state.
2
SPEAKER_01
You just unlock more when you are a generally happier person.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I feel like a lot of people struggle with happiness.
2
SPEAKER_01
A lot of people suffer and struggle with feeling worthy of happiness, of learning how to believe they re a good person, of believing they re enough.
2
SPEAKER_01
Why do you think we struggle so much with being happy and how can we learn to love ourselves deeper so that we are happier?
2
SPEAKER_00
I love that question.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I think there s two different kinds of levels of happiness.
2
SPEAKER_00
So for example, I could be in a low mood today, but still be so fulfilled and almost loving watching that process of waking up just being more like meh today.
2
SPEAKER_00
But that meh state can mean like, still fine.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
2
SPEAKER_00
So there s two, there s almost like one that s like the bottom of the ocean.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s like your core fulfillment, joy to be alive, like grateful, like, oh my God, this is like, this is an adventure.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
2
SPEAKER_00
Like, let me just observe what s going on today and it s all interesting and all beautiful and so amazing, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
That level of happiness, I think, really comes from being who you re supposed to be, you know, and being happy with who you are and almost feeling like you re doing what brings you
2
SPEAKER_00
the self-esteem, the fulfillment, the giving and receiving in the way that you re supposed to, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
I think when you give to the world in a way that you feel like there is an abundance more coming from it, it changes your whole worldview because you re like, there s so much more where that came from.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m so happy to serve.
2
SPEAKER_00
I love giving to people.
2
SPEAKER_00
I love seeing how I get received when I give to people.
2
SPEAKER_00
It kind of is like the genie wishing for one wish and then you get tons more back, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
When you re tapped into like this
3
SPEAKER_01
This is I m in my magic, so then I don t just know that I m special from here, but I feel that I m special every single day because I know that I have something I ve cultivated and given energy to that I really feel like is me.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s like my home frequency.
3
SPEAKER_01
I can come back to my base of what my value add is in this world.
3
SPEAKER_01
Right?
3
SPEAKER_01
So I think that s number one is like, there s so much deeper levels of happiness that are available to you.
3
SPEAKER_01
If you can break away from constantly telling yourself you have to be like everybody else, constantly trying to get the love and belonging, the kind of short term cookies, you can kind of forego them and put the sort of time in to take the risk to get it from the sort of longer term value, giving people value rather than what can I get out of life so quickly.
3
SPEAKER_00
Those cookies are so good.
3
SPEAKER_00
These cookies are so good in a moment, just, oh man, I love those cookies.
3
SPEAKER_00
But there s so much greater benefit when you can delay, or at least not every day have to go for the cookies.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m not saying never enjoy it, but as a metaphor, just not going for the pleasure every single day.
3
SPEAKER_00
Really going for a state of long-term happiness and fulfillment.
3
SPEAKER_01
comes down to making yourself proud of who you are, I think.
3
SPEAKER_00
Absolutely, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
And that feeling is not replaceable by any other thing, I don t think.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s true.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think when you re like, I really am happy, almost like your inner parent being like, you know what, that was a hard decision, but really, I m impressed with you.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think that is the ultimate, if you want to be happy, you make yourself proud of you.
3
100%.
3
SPEAKER_00
When was the time in the last decade you were the least proud of you?
3
SPEAKER_00
And at your lowest energy state.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think the ending of that relationship was very difficult for me because another thing that I was really conditioned with, my mom is Indian, and my parents have been married forever.
3
SPEAKER_01
And one of the things I really was conditioned with is that if a relationship goes well, you ve done well.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s your job as a woman to make a good relationship.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so you fail, you re the failure, if you don t make it work.
3
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_01
That was a big one for me.
3
SPEAKER_01
So that was a really, really hard time of being like, am I defected as a woman?
3
SPEAKER_01
Am I not desirable enough?
3
SPEAKER_01
Did I not do enough?
3
SPEAKER_01
Was I not more malleable?
3
SPEAKER_01
Should I have, you know, been more flexible or rolled down more?
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, whatever, all those different stories that you can create.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think that was a really big one for me.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I don t think I would have undone that conditioning if I hadn t gone through that experience.
3
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_00
So you felt like you were a failure with the relationship ending.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
I felt like it was on me.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think a lot of women go through that too.
3
SPEAKER_01
Really?
3
SPEAKER_01
I think they feel responsible for making a relationship go well.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, there s something to be said for people who are in relationships for decades that are like, listen, we had some hard seasons, some hard years, and we could have easily just said, you know what, this isn t working, or some bad stuff happened, and we should have left.
3
SPEAKER_00
But we decided to stay together, and we re so grateful 10, 20, 30 years later that we did, because every relationship has some seasons.
3
SPEAKER_00
But then there s also, like I see that point of view, but then I m also like, okay, if your body is rejecting something, and it s telling you this is not working, and I m giving it my all, and I m trying, and we re going to therapy, and you re really trying to commit to make it work, but you re rejecting it, and it s just a disconnect.
3
SPEAKER_00
I also see the benefit and the value and consciously uncoupling and saying, listen, we gotta go.
3
SPEAKER_00
This isn t working.
3
SPEAKER_00
Let s take some time and maybe we come back together in the future.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I don t think there s a right or wrong either way.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t think it s like you re a failure if you didn t go through all the hard times and go for 30, 40 years and make it out beautiful holding hands as like 90 year olds on the other side.
3
SPEAKER_00
Cause you can also be together for a long time and be miserable.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know, it s like, and there s a lot of probably Indian families that just stay together even though they don t fully love and have a fullness of life.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
Right?
3
SPEAKER_00
I m sure you see both.
3
SPEAKER_01
Completely.
3
SPEAKER_01
And that s the thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I love that you ve touched on this because that s the thing about human design is that we re always trying to look for
3
SPEAKER_01
always tough it out or leave the second you re ready, but actually everyone s on a different path.
3
SPEAKER_01
So that advice isn t going to work for everybody.
3
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, you re kind of, I guess, well predisposed to seeing this because you re very open in your chart, I had a look at, you re very open in your mind.
3
SPEAKER_01
So it s always about kind of not having your fixed opinions on things.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s always about saying, yeah, I could see that.
3
SPEAKER_01
Maybe sure.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
Could be wrong.
3
SPEAKER_01
Could be right.
3
SPEAKER_01
Let s see.
3
SPEAKER_01
Right.
3
SPEAKER_01
And that s one of your gifts.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I think that s one of the things is that we re always trying to find the right way to do life and then wronging everybody else who s not fitting into that directive and say, instead of saying, we are all on radically different journeys.
3
SPEAKER_01
Journeys no one else can even ever even come close to understanding.
3
SPEAKER_01
So us using our, again, using our mental energy on trying to find some kind of system that makes us all be on the same thing or same level of understanding or same goal, or it s just a moot exercise, you know?
3
SPEAKER_00
And I think that the challenge or the opportunity we all get to face is, are we going to live our life trying to please everyone else based on our decisions or lack of decisions, or feeling guilty and bad and wrong for decisions we make that others don t approve of?
3
SPEAKER_00
Because it s really hard to make decisions if we re thinking, why do I want people to be upset at me?
3
SPEAKER_00
And I did that for a long time.
3
SPEAKER_00
I stayed in relationships too long that I shouldn t have.
3
SPEAKER_00
I got out of stuff that I probably shouldn t have because I was worried about the opinions of others.
3
SPEAKER_00
So you felt like you were in a low part at the end of that relationship because you felt like a failure.
3
SPEAKER_01
I felt like I wasn t being my best self.
3
SPEAKER_00
Really?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I felt like it wasn t bringing out the best in me and therefore I shamed myself for that.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because it s not good to feel like you re not happy with how you re being, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
And also, yeah, I really had to contend with like,
3
SPEAKER_01
If I end this, then am I stupid?
3
SPEAKER_01
Am I making a really bad decision?
3
SPEAKER_01
Because again, like you were saying, he s great on paper.
3
SPEAKER_01
We re good enough together.
3
SPEAKER_01
My whole family loves him.
3
SPEAKER_01
He s successful.
3
SPEAKER_01
He s this, he s that.
3
SPEAKER_00
He s nice to me.
3
SPEAKER_00
He s the whatever it is, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
All that stuff, you know?
3
SPEAKER_00
But what was, in telling you, like, this isn t in alignment or this isn t the right thing for me right now, what was telling you
3
SPEAKER_00
Was it your intuition?
3
SPEAKER_00
Was it your gut?
3
SPEAKER_00
Was it just like you didn t feel like you were in your purpose or your joy?
3
SPEAKER_00
How were you able to know that, okay, I ve given this enough time and the season is ready to move on to the next thing?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I think I can come up with a lot of logical reasons for you, but I think ultimately if I watch myself net-net my emotional state was more negative than positive.
3
SPEAKER_00
In the relationship?
3
SPEAKER_01
Towards the end.
3
SPEAKER_01
So then that kind of tells you, again, it s like the body knows, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
Like it just, it s so tangible.
3
SPEAKER_01
We just need to watch ourselves as if from above and say, does this person look like a thriving, does it look like it s suiting you or not?
3
SPEAKER_01
And you don t need to be able to explain it away.
3
SPEAKER_01
On a more, I guess, on a more logical level, I went in with certain roles that I played that were, again, if we re always trying to be who we came here to be, they weren t ultimately part of who I was, right?
3
SPEAKER_00
They weren t serving you.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
Or your future you, your highest you.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes, yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
So you went in playing certain roles on a spaceship and then you realize, this isn t sustainable, this isn t me.
3
SPEAKER_00
So it was kind of like your responsibility for being those roles, because you were almost inauthentic in a sense, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
And those are my cookies.
3
SPEAKER_01
Look how good of a girlfriend I am.
3
SPEAKER_01
Look how supportive I am.
3
SPEAKER_01
Look, you know what I mean?
3
SPEAKER_01
The cookies are sometimes a little hidden like that, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
It s like, look how much I m helping this person be successful.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s so much more easy than trying to be successful on my own, right?
3
SPEAKER_00
So from, I mean, I don t know anything about the relationship, but if I was in that, I d be like, wow, okay, this person, this is who this person is.
3
SPEAKER_00
They re showing up in this way and now they re trying to be something different.
3
SPEAKER_00
It might be confusing for the guy.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh no, very.
3
SPEAKER_00
So it s beyond.
3
SPEAKER_00
Right.
3
SPEAKER_00
He s probably like, wait a minute, you were super supportive.
3
SPEAKER_00
And now something is shifting and now you re trying to be this other thing.
3
SPEAKER_00
Who are you?
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I played such a good trophy wife and I was good at it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like you said, like with the previous sport, like I was good at it, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
So you can t blame, you have to, I think ultimate self-responsibility gives you ultimate power over your own life.
3
SPEAKER_01
You absolutely, everything is for your own movie.
3
SPEAKER_01
So it s always I, I, I, I, I. I played the good role.
3
SPEAKER_01
I played the thing and therefore I got out of it what I put in.
3
SPEAKER_01
It doesn t matter about who the character is that I was playing with.
3
SPEAKER_01
I would have played that character on whoever it was.
3
SPEAKER_00
To anyone, until you learned the lesson.
3
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
3
SPEAKER_00
That this wasn t... I mean, maybe it s like, okay, I can be this sometimes, but this is not the role I m supposed to be playing in my life right now.
3
SPEAKER_00
Is that what it sounds like?
3
SPEAKER_00
This is interesting.
3
SPEAKER_00
But here s the other interesting thing.
3
SPEAKER_00
You ve been studying human design for, I guess, three to five years by that point already.
3
SPEAKER_00
So what were you...
3
SPEAKER_00
not listening to with your own study and practice of human design.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
What was your human design telling you to do that you were directly going against?
3
SPEAKER_01
This is really interesting.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think the emotional piece again, actually, with us, because I was so suppressing my own, my joy and my sadness.
3
SPEAKER_00
You were suppressing it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Suppressing.
3
SPEAKER_00
Why were you suppressing joy?
3
SPEAKER_01
Because I think England is a little different than America.
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, you can t be too, there were certain situations where I felt like, and therefore was told, but that s because I felt like it, right?
4
SPEAKER_00
That s why it actualized in the outside world.
4
SPEAKER_00
You can t just drink tea at midnight and just be dancing on the table by yourself.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like, you know, have some alcohol, fit in, like sit down and be cool and have conversations.
4
SPEAKER_00
And, you know, I felt this like, want to be kind of like, you know,
4
SPEAKER_00
unboundedly joyful for no reason that I suppressed, and I also suppressed tears, right?
4
SPEAKER_01
Because friends or society in England was like, oh, don t be too happy.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like, you re wacky, that s crazy.
4
SPEAKER_00
Chill out.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, relax a little bit.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
And when you were emotional or crying, they were like, what are you crying for?
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, they couldn t take it either way, the extremes.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_01
Just kind of keep it in the middle of this, not surface-y, but kind of not fully authentic.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_01
way of being, is what I m hearing you say.
4
SPEAKER_01
At least the people you re with or the places you re around.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_01
So you were surprising both emotions.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_00
To be more permissible.
4
SPEAKER_01
To be more accepted or fit in.
4
SPEAKER_00
Interesting.
4
SPEAKER_01
And now- To try to belong.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_01
But you weren t being fully authentic or vulnerable.
4
SPEAKER_00
No.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so you weren t actually belonging at all, because you weren t belonging to yourself.
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And if you take it in this frame, like you re asking me, the emotion is your motor center as an emotional being, right?
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When you re an emotional being, emotions are your power center.
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Comes from your solar plexus, right?
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And you took it away.
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So when you take that away, firstly, you have less energy.
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Second of all, you can t make decisions, the correct decisions in your life, and you re suppressing all of your life force from directing your life forward.
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So if you imagine, okay, there was already certain things that were supposed to be in play to move my life forward for me from the universe, just like there is for all of us.
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You re literally holding them back from just, instead of just letting them, unleashing them, right?
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Letting your destiny move through you, right?
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Because you re just holding yourself back because you re saying,
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This is not a good way to be.
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I don t want to be this way.
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I don t want to be an emotional being.
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Okay, so you re constricting all of that life force inside of you instead of letting it out.
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Wow.
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So then you stay small.
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And you don t use your voice.
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That s all.
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You didn t feel like you used your voice at all?
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Not until the end and then I think I d suppressed it so much that it came out completely.
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Um, how do you put this?
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Um, disproportionate, you know, when you keep so many things inside extreme, yeah, you, you say some, well, not even extreme, but you say, I m not happy.
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And someone s like, what do you mean you re not happy?
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It s come out of nowhere.
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Like you seem to have, you know, and that s unfair to do on a person.
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Yeah.
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Instead of communicate along the way of, I feel sad today, and I don t know why, and it s nothing to do with you, but I just need my space to be sad.
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That s what emotionals need to be doing.
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There s no rhyme or reason sometimes when you feel really teary, or you feel like, I have a different emotional wave to other people.
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Different sizes, different behaviors, different patterns of emotions.
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Mine is kind of sad and happy, sad and happy.
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I feel teary, and then I want to dance down the street.
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Within like a moment?
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It s from day to day, I d say.
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Okay, gotcha.
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And then other people, you know, when they are really low, and these are people who often get diagnosed as being, you know, manic or bipolar or whatever, there s just some people who have so much creative emotional power in them.
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Think about people who ve moved the world through a song about a breakup, right?
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When they re in that songwriting process, they need to remove themselves and be away from people and mire in that sadness so fully because it creates something inside them.
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But instead, if they re like, no, put on a brave face and go out there and be with people and hide that,
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It s saving, it s basically muffling all of that creative power inside them, right?
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Low and high emotions is what makes a human experience worth living.
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If everything was just neutral, there d be no point in being here, right?
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So the emotionals color life.
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But we also need to be mindful of how much we allow other people like you to understand it s not about you if I m sad today.
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And if I come to you and I say, I m really sad today, can I cry?
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And then you hold my hand, that makes us bond more.
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And you know it s not about you.
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Right?
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And so it creates deeper intimacy when people are okay with their emotions.
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Right?
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And sharing them.
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Anything of significance that a person has achieved over their life, they didn t know how to do it when they started.
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That s true.
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A quantum leap is one of those things that s dead solid perfect within the realm of possibility for you.
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You just haven t done it yet.
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Um, but it s, it s a real stretch goal.
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And the thing about it is, if you set your goal right, it forces you out of your current modus operandi.
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If you set your goal correctly, how do you know how to set your goal the right way in order to create a quantum leap in your life?
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There are several things about goal setting that I think are real key points.
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Um, if you re shooting,
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to make this kind of an exponential leap in performance.
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So then, first, it needs to be a serious stretch goal.
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You need to scare the horses, you know.
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It needs to scare you.
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Yeah.
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You need to be like, oh.
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There needs to be, but secondly, it needs to be a goal that, it needs to be a love story around that goal, I think.
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Because when you go for a big goal, any goal,
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much significance.
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You re going to have some setbacks.
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Uh, you re going to have some obstacles that come along.
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You re going to get kind of banged up and bruised up maybe.
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And you need to care enough.
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You know, the heart is what sustains you through that.
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And so there, you know, people talk about a passion for this, for this goal.
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And I think, well,
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That s a fine word and it fits, but some people say, well, I just don t have that passion.
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Well, you just need to care for it or at least be committed enough to it that you say, I m going to stay the course.
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I will put myself out there.
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And I think that it needs to be your goal, not somebody else s goal for you.
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Not a should or ought to goal.
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I think a fundamental mistake that a lot of people make is they don t believe in themselves enough and they don t reach high enough.
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Who is it?
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Astro Teller, who is the head of Google X, you know, their innovative arm that said 10% can be as hard as 10X.
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You know, a 10% improvement, not necessarily any improver.
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Small acquisitions were every bit as difficult to make work as the big ones.
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which is kind of a counterintuitive thought.
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I mean, normally people don t go out with their mind drifting down that path, but with you squared, the handbook is, it s kind of based on counterintuitive ideals, kind of things that stop you and kind of, you know, make yourself uncomfortable.
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You know, that s one of the points.
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Well, why would I want to do that?
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You re an athlete.
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If you re not willing to make yourself uncomfortable, you got to get off the field.
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Absolutely.
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Yeah.
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So it s almost like 10X is just as easy or just as challenging as 2X.
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And it s about how you frame it and about going after it the right way.
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It s what it sounds like.
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They re both going to be challenging, so you might as well go for the bigger leap than the one that s just a little bit more uncomfortable.
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So if people are looking to make more money, make a bigger impact, and work with more influential people in their life, or people that are more disciplined and up to a bigger game, which is what it sounds like you wanted to do early in your career.
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You wanted to make more money, you wanted to make a bigger impact, a bigger difference, and you wanted to work with leaders.
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What was it inside of you that said, okay, I m going to make this quantum leap?
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Was there, was it a moment?
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Did you feel like you put in all the work that you needed to?
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Was it an awakening?
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Was there a breakdown you were facing in your life where you said, okay, I m, I m not happy with incremental growth year after year in my personal or professional life.
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What was that deciding moment that said, I m going to try something unconventional and completely change the course of my life?
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boredom boredom boredom and and just like a purpose and hungry i was hungry for for scaling up i mean really a major scaling up i thought that we were we weren t making any mistakes
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You weren t failing enough.
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We weren t.
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I mean, we were on autopilot.
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I mean, the place, it ran too smoothly.
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And it began to just bore me, and I got disgusted.
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Why do people get so comfortable?
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Why did they get so comfortable?
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Yeah.
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When they used to have quantum leaps, you know, from not from crawling to walking to running to, and then it s just kind of sitting.
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People are so different.
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I mean, they re so alike too, but they re so different.
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And some people just have a much higher need for achievement.
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Some people have a much higher energy level and some, you know, on and on and on.
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The human needs might be different.
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They re just different.
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Some people want growth, some people want achievement, some people want contribution.
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Some people want a job that they want to nurture other people.
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I got a PhD in psychology.
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I did a year-long clinical internship.
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I worked on a psychiatric ward.
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That is not
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And I knew from the word go that that was not where I would end up.
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It just, but you got people, they re drawn to that, and that s a wonderful thing about the world, the difference.
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But the truth is, I don t care where, I don t care what direction a person is drawn, they can make quantum leaps in that zone.
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Whatever their strike zone is,
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But I don t really spend a lot of time, I guess, trying to talk people into making a quantum leap unless they have something inside.
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They ve got to want it.
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They ve got to be hungry.
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They ve got to be,
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you know, anxious about something changing, they got to want to change.
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They do.
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Because some people know they want something more, but they don t know exactly what it is.
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Yeah.
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And so they re in the uncertainty of, well, I m not sure which direction I should go in.
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And here s another problem I see is people have too many passions.
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I ve got this idea and this idea and this idea, which one do I choose?
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And when someone has 10 different passions or different roads that they could go down, how do they know which one they should go down?
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That want to factor, that s the X factor.
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And, um, you know, people talk about willpower.
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Well, I want to talk about won t power.
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Um, what does that mean?
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Oh, it s won t power is how much do you want this thing again?
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You know, how much are you in love with this idea?
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Um, I do think,
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that there are times when we re kind of directionless or a person certainly can be.
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And so for that poor soul, although they might be happy, content, doing fine, really, but they kind of like something to change and be bigger and better and more dramatic or whatever.
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And so sometimes I think we can maybe find that magical era just by playing with the curiosity or saying yes to a random opportunity that just comes smack in front of us, or maybe
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Deciding well, I m gonna muscle up one of my superpowers Let me sort of really get into that because I have fun with that and I m good at it So those are things I think that one can can play with when they re there they re not Just but I ll show the direction yeah, yeah, and it sounds like once we I
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can figure out which direction we want to go in to make a quantum leap.
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It s hard to make a decision of which direction to go for some people, where other people just know, this is the thing I love, I m excited about this, I have some skills or talent around this idea or this thing, and I m going to go all in on it.
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But once you can figure out the path you re going and the direction you re going to take, how do you know it s time to take a quantum leap in that path versus, all right, I got to figure out my bearings and figure out where I m heading in this direction and just kind of create some goals and get it going.
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But how do I know when my time is ready for a unconventional growth spurt, for a leap so big and grand that other people think I m crazy and laugh at me when I talk about it?
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I don t think you will necessarily know.
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I think you make a decision.
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One of the chapters in the you squared handbook is make your move before you re ready.
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Um, I ll tell you where big dreams go to die.
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Tell me they go to the planning place.
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getting ready place, um, preparing myself.
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And it s the biggest con job we work on ourselves.
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There are so many bones of big dreams in that graveyard where people, it s always something that there s always going to be a set of reasons to wait.
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And
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It s like Gilda Radner, that line of hers on Saturday Night Live, you know, it s always something.
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Well, it is.
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And so, when are you going to take the risk?
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You pick 10 people at random, and I ll bet $100 that we can find quantum leaps in every one of them.
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Really?
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Oh, yeah.
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And if you stop and think about it, everybody s made quantum leaps before they reach school age.
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Because you come into this world naked.
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You can t speak.
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You can t feed yourself.
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You can t get around.
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And by the age of three, you re doing all three of those things.
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It s true.
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It s pretty incredible.
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Now, go and look at what that child did.
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They were willing to fail.
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Over and over and over and over and over again.
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They had no methodology.
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They just knew what they wanted and they were willing to make mistakes to show them the way there.
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And it s the same thing when they learn to ride a bicycle, when they learn to swim, when they learn to run as opposed to walk.
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And so those are all,
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That s not an incremental thing.
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You can t crawl fast enough to become a walker.
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You know, you got to change the game.
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It s a totally different game.
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Waiting is w a d i n g in the water is you can t wait fast enough to swim.
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And so it s that.
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It s that process of being willing to take new risks, change your modus operandi, fail your way to success.
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You talk about seeking failure in one of the chapters of U Squared and in another chapter about suspend disbelief.
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I loved a few quotes in this because I believe self-doubt is the biggest killer of dreams.
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It s what holds us back from
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Taking the steps necessary to fail often, frequently, in order to make those big leaps.
5
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And in your chapter on suspend disbelief, you started with saying, act as if your success is for certain.
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Most people have so much doubt.
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Is this possible?
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What happens if I fail?
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What happens if I do succeed?
5
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The pressure.
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What about all the judgment I m going to get from the actions and the failures?
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And you say, if you must doubt something, doubt your limits.
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I love that line.
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And one other line that really stood out to me is, your doubts are not the product of accurate thinking, but habitual thinking.
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And when I read that, I was like, wow, this is so true.
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It s not a product of accurate thinking, it s of habitual thinking.
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We ve been thinking limited consistently.
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And this habit of thinking limited keeps us in a limited,
5
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a state of being, a state of mind, as opposed to accurate thinking, what is possible.
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We don t step into that enough.
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And this whole chapter really opened up for me because my thesis in life is self-doubt is the killer of dreams.
5
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And when we can learn to believe in self, which is something you talked about here as well, needing to believe in yourself, it needs to be your goal.
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And you need to have a love story around this pursuit.
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But if we can t learn to believe in self, it s going to be hard.
5
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You can love the idea of your goal.
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You can have clear goals.
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But if you doubt you, your dream
6
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are going to die.
6
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And I think that s a challenging thing for people to say, well, how do I learn to believe in self?
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How do I learn to have accurate thinking, not habitual thinking?
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How do I, you know, learn to doubt my limits as opposed to doubting myself?
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And how do I learn to act as if my success is for certain when I ve always doubted me?
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What do you say to that statement?
6
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Yeah, it s a killer question.
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Well, you get to choose how you behave.
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The heck with your thinking.
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Let s say your thinking is what it is, and it s riddled with doubt.
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You re ravaged with doubt.
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You still get to choose how you behave.
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And you can act like that.
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You ve got what it takes.
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You can t.
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You can do it.
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It s not easy.
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And you can feel like, I m faking this.
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Oh, am I ever faking this?
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The best actors in Hollywood make a lot of money.
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Exactly.
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And they re playing a role.
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Yeah.
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They aren t that role.
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That s right.
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That s not who they are in their normal life, but they re playing a role.
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And the better you can act, the more money you can make in Hollywood.
6
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Well, if we said George Burns or someone that said something about, I won t get this precise, but it s something like authenticity is the key.
6
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If you can fake that, you got it made.
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Right, right, right.
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So that s one thing.
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And just go against everything that s going on inside you, because most people are not going to know.
6
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But there s another thing.
6
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Manage your remembering.
6
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What does that mean?
6
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Your memory of painful moments?
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Yeah, what you go back and what you dwell on.
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When you go back over the years, I mean, I can go back just like that.
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I can think something and I can pull up again and again and again.
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All these times that I ve been embarrassed, I ve been humiliated, I ve failed, dropped the ball, you know, I can dwell on that if I want to.
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But I can also go back and the times that I pulled it off.
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The times I did it right, I surprised myself.
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How good it felt when I was good to somebody else.
6
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You know, on and on and on.
6
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So you get to dwell on whatever you want to dwell on.
6
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And we re too indiscriminate.
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It s kind of like these two voices we ve got in our head.
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We ve got a hero voice and we ve got a villain voice.
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You know?
6
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And who are you going to give air time to?
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People talk about having a coach.
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Well, the coach that is closest to you is the voices inside your head.
6
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You re coaching yourself all the time.
6
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And you get to decide which voice you want to hand the mic to.
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And the villain voice is very compelling.
6
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And he s, he s a con artist because so much of the time he s like, I m here to protect you, buddy.
6
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I m on your side.
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I m going to keep you from screwing up.
6
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I don t want you to fail.
6
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I don t want you to embarrass yourself.
6
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You know, just listen to me now.
6
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And so he focuses on mistakes on your wicker points and all the why nots.
6
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Your Hebrew voice focuses on your strengths, your accomplishments, and so on and so on.
6
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What s your thoughts on manifesting and manifesting something you want and alchemizing it into the world?
6
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Do you believe in manifesting?
6
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Do you believe in artists should be thinking in that way?
6
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And what s your thoughts on it?
6
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I believe in it a million percent.
6
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It s something that I ve experienced before I knew what it was.
6
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So when I say it s like, I feel like it has to do with the purity of the intention behind what you re doing.
6
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if your intention is pure and you re doing it for the right reasons, it seems like things tend to work out.
6
SPEAKER_02
And that ends up being a manifestation mindset, but it didn t start for me that way.
6
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It just was like, I really believe in what I m doing.
6
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I really care about it.
6
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I want it to be the best it could be for me, and I m excited to share it, and the results have shown me that you can manifest things.
6
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It happens.
6
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But I ll say when I do it, it s never based on that outcome.
6
SPEAKER_02
Ooh, what do you mean?
6
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I m never asking for a result.
6
SPEAKER_02
What are you asking for?
6
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I m asking for to rise to the occasion to make the best thing that I can, for the thing that I make to be great.
6
SPEAKER_02
Great is a vague word.
6
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I don t know what great means.
6
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I came to realize recently what great means, but I didn t know.
6
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Most of my life I was aiming for great, but I didn t know what that was.
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And I ve come to realize that great means it s a devotional, it s a devotional kind of greatness.
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It s a gift to the universe.
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It s a gift to God.
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Wow.
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If you re making a gift to God, there s no greater, you can t put more into it than that.
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You know, you can t, what about the single?
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What about what someone s gonna say?
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Who has anything to say if we re making a gift for God?
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You re putting all of your purest intention into this thing for the universe.
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That s where it s at.
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I didn t know that.
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I came to realize that recently.
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Again, my word was greatness.
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Greatness.
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That was the word of what I was shooting for.
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But I ve come to realize what it is.
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Wow, you have a whole kind of section about greatness and success in the creative act, a way of being, which I love your explanation there.
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That is fascinating.
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So greatness for you, what I m hearing you say, is a pure gift of yours to God.
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Yes, and it s a gift of yourself to God.
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It s like, this is the best I can do.
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This is my offering.
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This is what I have to offer.
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If you think of a formula for manifesting as an artist, what would that formula be?
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I don t think there s a formula.
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Is there an art to manifesting?
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I don t know.
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I don t, I think, um, it sounds like a shortcut and I don t think there are shortcuts.
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I think it s always a,
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a version of doing the work, of finding your way into what it is that the universe wants you to do, and then
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really dedicating yourself.
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How do you know what the universe wants you to do and when to do it?
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The right timing?
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Because you could be like, I have this idea for this thing, maybe it s the right time now, maybe it s five, ten years away from now.
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How do we really tap into that knowing?
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I think it s situational and I think again, if you re tapped into the universe, it tells you.
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It directs you.
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An example, I may have three different ideas that I m excited about.
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and I kind of get them all going.
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And then one of them just seems to take off on its own.
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And one of them, no matter how hard I work on it, it never seems to come together.
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Can t find the right collaborators, some obstacles in the way.
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When that happens, I feel like it s the universe saying now s not the time.
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Interesting, because you know,
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I love this.
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And I also hear the other side of the, I guess the coin where, you know, I don t know if you know Ryan holiday, but the obstacle is the way is his kind of stoic philosophy of like when the obstacle is there and presents itself.
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And you also feel like this is something you want to do.
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Like you ve got to kind of go through that pain and that, you know, to overcome it.
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That is part of it.
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I m not saying to turn away from the obstacle, but I m saying when the obstacles become insurmountable consistently,
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And there s another path that s going smoothly, and you feel the same about both of them.
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Go for the effortless way.
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Well, pay attention.
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See when is the universe giving you a push?
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When is the wind hitting your sails the right way?
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There s something to it.
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I would never suggest not fighting through the work.
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It s grueling no matter what.
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It s grueling no matter what.
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That said, sometimes it feels like
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Now s not the time.
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It s like everything you throw at it gets deflected.
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But this other thing is guiding you.
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Taking on its own life.
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Earlier you asked about what I perceive to be a shortcut.
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And a shortcut is how little can I get away with doing?
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And I think that the real question is,
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How much more can I give to the thing I m making?
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What else can I give to it?
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And thinking in terms of how much more can we do, not how much less can we do.
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It s not about shortcuts.
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It s not about getting it done.
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You know, it s not about a four hour work week.
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I loved it.
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You know, I loved it, but that s not, it s like whatever it takes for it to be all it could be, commitment and total commitment and dedicating your life to making the best things you can, whatever it is.
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Yeah.
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That s beautiful, man.
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And so you think that as artists, we should be thinking about manifesting, but not in the terms of doing less, but putting the maximum into making it great.
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Doing anything that s within our power, it doesn t have to make sense.
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Nothing has to make sense.
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It could be, when I wear these purple socks, I can write a better song, great.
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Doesn t matter, don t question it.
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Just do whatever works, do it.
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Is it really art if you re making money off of it?
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Absolutely, it doesn t matter.
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It s not about the outcome, that s what I m saying.
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If you don t make money or if you do make money, that has nothing to do with the art.
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Art is the art and then whatever happens after happens after.
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If you make something that you love, I know if I make something I love,
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If more people like it, that s only a good thing.
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Now, I wouldn t change a word of it for someone else to like it.
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Do you know what I m saying?
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It s like, I make the thing I love and then present it to the world.
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And then if the world likes it, great.
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And if more people like it than less, better.
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Why not?
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We re sharing something we love, something we think is beautiful.
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So the more people who embrace it, but again, I would never change it for anyone else because that s not what it s about.
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It s not about that.
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With the artists you ve worked with,
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that you knew before they were global successes or their art, their music or, you know, was known by many.
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What did you see became their biggest challenge once they became extremely successful?
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Because a lot of artists, I would think, want their art to be liked and listened to by people.
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They want to make a living and more people like it typically.
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That s a good thing, typically.
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But sometimes we see artists who have this incredible rise of success and then seem to struggle with whether whatever depression, anxiety, maybe the pressure.
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Can I do this again?
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Will I be able to have these many hits again?
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What is the biggest challenge you see with artists becoming successful?
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Probably the biggest one is, um,
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Nobody prepares you for success and you may have a dream of what it s like and you may think the success is gonna fill some hole you have in your soul and then the six and you work your whole life for the success that s gonna fill the hole and finally you get the success and the holes the same and it s a
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It creates hopelessness.
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Wow.
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Because you always, you re working towards this goal that s going to fix the problem, but it s the goal doesn t fix the problem.
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It, I would say, I can t, I can t, I can t say never, but I would say almost never fixes the problem.
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What fixes the problem for people?
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It s something else.
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It s something inside themselves.
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It s something inside themselves.
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So do you think success can almost hurt someone more than before they have it, after they have it?
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It just depends on the person s temperament.
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For some people, being famous is the greatest thing, it s all they ever wanted.
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And for some people, they become famous and it s the worst nightmare.
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That s not what they wanted.
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They miss their privacy, they miss their anonymity.
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They miss being able to go and do whatever they want and not be singled out or pointed to or, uh, talk to, or even if people are nice, like it s a different, it s different.
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Um, and no one teaches you how to do that.
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Or you want to, you know, go do something with your family and then.
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There are photographers there and it s very awkward.
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What advice do you have for people that want to be famous?
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You know, success is one thing, but fame is another thing and they don t always happen together.
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for someone that wants to be famous, what advice would you have for them?
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I don t know.
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I would say, I would look at why that is.
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Maybe see, you know, consider therapy.
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Right.
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Have you ever done therapy yourself?
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I ve done, yeah, I ve done all kinds of therapy.
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What has been the biggest lesson you learned through therapy for you?
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Um, I learned how to express my feelings clearly.
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Like, um, when I, the first time I went to therapy, I didn t even know how to talk.
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I didn t know how I felt about anything.
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How old were you then?
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Maybe 26.
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So you learned how to express your feelings then?
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Yes.
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And to not only, yes, express them, but also to actually feel them in myself, to understand, not just feel like blocked off or frustrated or like what s beneath it, what s actually going on.
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And what is the biggest lessons that meditation or meditation practices has provided for you?
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It provides a quiet space where the chatter, you realize that your thoughts are not you and that left to your own devices, there ll be a lot of voices in your head just going all the time and they re not you.
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and they don t mean anything, and they re really repetitious, and they re not working in your best interest.
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So if your thoughts aren t you, then what are you?
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I suppose you are the unchanging part of yourself that s always there, probably from the time you re born till the time you die, and maybe before and after.
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It s what s really inside.
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It s not changeable.
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It s what you came with.
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It s not the thinking mind.
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It s almost being the observer of the thoughts.
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the one who sees the thoughts.
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That sounds right.
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Yeah.
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Observing.
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Good.
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Thank you.
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Yeah.
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That s what I was hearing you say.
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Um, when do you feel the most loved Rick?
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I would say in general, I feel loved.
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It s an, it s a good feeling.
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Like I feel, um, I feel spiritually connected and that s a, that gives me a great feeling of peace.
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Where do you think you d be in your life if you weren t a meditator?
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And where do you think you d be if you allowed yourself to play with drugs and alcohol?
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Yeah, I can t really predict.
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I would say meditation, without meditation, I don t know who I would be.
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It s such a big part of who I am.
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Informed so many, everything.
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My understanding of the world is based on learning to meditate.
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when I was young.
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So I don t know who I would be without that.
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Do you think you would have as much internal harmony and peace and external success without meditation?
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No, certainly not internal peace.
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I don t know about success by
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I wanted to ask you a question about comparison.
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You mentioned the NBA basketball player needing to post more on social media based on what their team or the coaches or maybe not the coaches, but maybe the general managers wanted them to do.
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With artists, I see a lot of people competing and being in comparison versus just sharing their truths in an authentic way.
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And sometimes on social media, people are vulnerable because it gets attention, and then they re over vulnerable, and then that becomes a game in itself.
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But in a world where everything is oversaturated seeming, and there is a lot of competition for attention,
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How can an artist stay true to their inner voice and not be in comparison, but be willing to collaborate and also see success in others and be okay with it?
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Yeah, I think staying out of it, you know, like not participating in that game, it s someone else s game.
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That s someone else s game.
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I would suggest play your own game.
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I can remember having a conversation with one of the biggest artists in the world who described an album that they were going to make.
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And I had just seen them play in a stadium full of people screaming and crying.
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And it was not Paul McCartney.
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And the album that they were describing was one that none of those 70,000 people screaming and crying wanted to hear.
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It was clear to me.
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And I remember saying, that s not your hand.
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Like you play, when you re playing poker, it s not, you can t just play any cards.
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You play your hand based on the cards you ve been dealt.
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So depending on the artist you are, like them.
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It d be like there was a time, I think, when Metallica felt like, we don t really want to be a heavy metal band.
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We want to be a pop band, because pop bands were what s popular.
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And we have reached a ceiling being a heavy metal band.
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That did not go well.
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That was a bad idea.
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They weren t playing their hand.
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They weren t embracing Metallica.
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And I think if you embrace your part, it s your best chance.
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being true to yourself, not saying, oh, well, those people over there are getting popular doing this other thing.
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I don t really like it, but it s really working for them.
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Maybe I could try that.
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Recipe for disaster.
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So don t chase something that s not your hand.
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No.
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I hope you enjoyed today s episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness.
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Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today s episode with all the important links.
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And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally, as well as ad free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our greatness plus channel exclusively on Apple podcasts.
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Share this with a friend on social media, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well.
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Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review.
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I really love hearing feedback from you, and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward.
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And I want to remind you, if no one has told you lately, that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter.
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And now, it s time to go out there and do something great.