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Okay, you guys, we have a special episode today.
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This is Phil Hartman, sort of a looking back, a remembrance, fondly at the late great- A tribute to Phil.
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Yeah, there you go.
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Because on our podcast, we kept hearing all kinds of people mentioning Phil, Will Ferrell, Bill Hader, admiring Phil, even trying to be like Phil.
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So we just thought, let s do a show
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about Phil s greatness on Saturday Night Live.
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And for that reason, we know there was a tragic tragedy that happened, and we steered away from it for the most part, because we wanted this to be fun, and we let people ramble around, but it was, I ll just say from my side of the fence is, I d had dinner with Phil s daughter and her husband about a year and a half ago, and she expressed kind of wanting to talk about
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her mom and dad, and we told her, do whatever you want, but she did decide to come to the live show at the Groundlings, which you re about to hear.
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So that was really nice for her to see all that love pouring out for her dad.
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And it was emotional, but it also was just a blast to revisit Phil s greatness.
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And he just made me laugh so much.
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Yeah, and you re going to hear a lot of laughs because it s old writers and cast members, you know.
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And we went to the Groundlings where Phil s from, got on stage and had a great crowd that loved him.
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Or he is a hall of famer, or maybe the goat of the Groundlings.
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He was there for 11 years.
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And so we went to the home base of where it all happened.
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And Julia Sweeney was with us on this particular show and she got her break on that stage.
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So a lot of great fun to be had on this episode.
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It s very interesting and lots of laughs.
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Yeah, we got Kevin Nealon, we got Jim Downey, Dana, myself, and Julia.
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So hope you like it.
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Part one.
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You don t scare me.
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I got chunks of guys like you in my stool.
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Hey, everybody.
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What a great montage.
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Oh, shit.
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We got the cold side.
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That was awesome.
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Thank you very much.
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You ve been a great audience.
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David?
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Hey, guys.
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I ll fix this.
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Give me about 25 minutes.
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SPEAKER_01
No, but what happened?
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I feel like I m in a witness protection program here with the microphone.
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Christ sakes.
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Remember when that submarine went down?
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I miss that crazy little sub.
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How long are you going to work on that microphone?
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I got attached.
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Oh, this is okay.
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I got it.
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I went to DeVry.
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I m under a vent and I probably will be for the next.
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Are you under a vent?
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Are you feeling it?
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Oh yeah.
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Fucking brutal.
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I call it a cool breeze to keep us comfortable.
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You call it a vent.
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Brutal.
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Who s negative now?
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So you guys, thanks for coming down.
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We re gonna get things going because we have all our friends here, a couple of great friends.
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How long has this puppet theater been here?
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It is so quiet.
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They said it s small.
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I was here once, but man, it s intimate.
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It s really intimate, isn t it?
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I thought this was like the forum.
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I wanna see Neil Young here.
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You know what I mean?
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Don t laugh, that s not that great.
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You know, just acoustic.
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Anyway, it doesn t matter.
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Introduce our panel.
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Okay, we re doing this show and we re gonna bring out our guests.
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In no particular order, I ll just say number one.
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It s a dating game.
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Please welcome, from Saturday Night Live and everything else, my good friend and David s good friend, Mr. Kevin Nealon.
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Kevin!
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Nice to see you, brother.
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Nice to see you.
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I knew Kevin right when I saw him backstage.
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I go, I know that.
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That s Kevin.
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Is this OK?
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Yeah.
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I don t like to sit any closer to you guys.
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Yeah, this has been pretty distant.
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Who would you like to sit next to you?
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Because that s who I ll introduce next.
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Sit next to me?
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Yeah.
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Robbie Margo.
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Margo Robbie.
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And her twin sister, Robbie Marco.
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Robbie Marco is a very good actor.
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I saw that blank stare.
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I thought, maybe that s not her name.
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Well, I saw a movie with Pitt Brad.
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Have you ever seen Pitt Brad?
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Oh, yeah.
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That guy is a hell of an actor.
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Old Pity.
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Pity, they call him.
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Yeah.
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A Town Without Pity.
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Let s get out Julia Sweeney.
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Oh, it s Julia Sweeney.
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Yeah.
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Look at that.
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They re a packed venue.
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Lovely, Julia.
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One of your own.
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One of your own.
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A groundling.
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I like when you meet people.
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Were you a groundling?
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How many were groundlings?
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How many not groundlings?
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Never been a groundling.
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Is that an applause light?
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Is that an applause light?
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Oh my God.
0
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That green light went on.
0
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Oh, it s almost over.
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I don t know what s going on.
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And of course, an esteemed writer from Saturday Night Live.
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We ll talk all about that.
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The one and only, the infamous writer of Saturday Night Live and other things, Mr. Jim Downey.
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Right there, Jimmy.
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Yeah, buddy.
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Jim Downey, our boss.
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Jim Downey with the reed shoes.
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I just I just wanted to sing.
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All right.
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Let s see.
0
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Jim Downey at the reed.
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Do you need any help with that?
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No, I won t.
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Oh, easy, Hulk.
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Can I get a banyan?
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But we have this worked out.
0
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How s that?
0
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Is that going to be OK for the next four and a half minutes?
0
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You would like an adjustment?
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Why don t we go backstage?
0
SPEAKER_01
Can I get a menu?
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While they re turning this blow fan off.
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I just want to be able to see.
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I was a stand-up for years, and we know how to adjust mics, right, Kev?
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Yes.
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I do, yeah.
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Mine s perfect.
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Is that good, Sue?
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Thank you.
0
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All right, let s wrap this up.
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Yeah.
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And David Spade.
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Yeah.
0
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All right.
0
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Welcome to Fly on the Wall live from the infamous groundlings in Hollywood, California.
0
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I m Dan O Flarfo.
0
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This is David Spudler.
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And we decided to do a tribute to Phil Hartman because we have this podcast, it s dedicated to SNL primarily, and everyone kept mentioning Phil s work and his sketches, Will Ferrell and Bill Hader and others.
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So we thought, let s do an episode devoted to Phil Hartman s greatness, and I guess I ll say genius, as a sketch player on Saturday Night Live.
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So we re gonna talk about all that in Saturday Night Live.
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We don t have a script, right, David?
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We re just flying free.
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Well, it ll become very obvious.
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But we do know, we all knew Phil pretty well, some better than others.
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We could maybe just start with Kevin and we ll just sort of meander and go all over the place, but we will definitely discuss Phil.
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But Kevin, what comes to mind, Phil Hartman?
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Oh man, I knew I sat in the wrong chair.
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I should have took the first one.
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Phil Hartman, I remember when we first got on Saturday Night Live and we were all kind of getting to know each other, although I knew a few people.
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And then somebody was talking about the old guy.
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There was an old guy that s in the cast too.
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He wasn t around yet, but he was really good.
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His name s Phil Hartman and he was 37.
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He was old.
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Gross.
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And we were all like, wow, he is old.
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He s like an adult, I gotta admit.
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He s so old.
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And so yeah, he was a lot of fun.
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So we got to, we were shooting the titles and I remember it was late at night and we re sitting around waiting for the camera set up and it s Phil, Jan Hooks and me.
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And I don t know if this was a sketch he used to do or what, but
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Jan would like feed him lines, say, I forget what his character s name was, like Mr. Poopy, he was calling him or something.
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And he was a foreign guy.
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And he said, Mr. Poopy, can you say, I m having a good time in Los Angeles.
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I love, I mean, in New York, I love it here.
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Good time.
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And the way he did it was really funny.
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It was funny.
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I can t even do a fake foreign guy.
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Yeah.
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You know, but, um, that s one of the things I remember him right off the bat.
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We ll get back to some other stories a little later.
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The Y 95.
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Um, yes.
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Well, Kevin and I came in together with Phil and we, our first show was with Phil.
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That s where I know you from.
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Yeah.
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Remember we shared an office and remember
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You guys did?
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We shared an office a tenth of the size of this stage.
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Remember when it started snowing and I looked out the window?
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We were there for so many hours, you re exhausted.
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And I didn t know about winter really.
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I mean, like a winter coat.
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Well, yeah.
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Well, you know, I think it was the second year.
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There s a big tall window in the office on the 17th floor.
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Yeah.
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And can you hear me way in the back?
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And, you know, you work so late at night to like, you know, three or whatever in the morning.
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And after a while you just run out of ideas.
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I think it was the second year we re looking out the window and 30 Rock is lit up from below.
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And you can see the snow falling down through the window.
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And we re both standing in front of the window.
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It was like a New Yorker cartoon.
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And we just both said, we had our chance.
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We had our chance.
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To get a winter coat.
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That was the first snow.
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I had my chance.
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I didn t get it.
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I don t have it.
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And now I m fucked.
1
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Take a break, we ll be right back.
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Julia, any reflections you want to share?
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Well, I knew Phil before he was on SNL.
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He was actually my intermediate teacher.
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Yeah.
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Lingo, lingo.
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And he was truly one of the best teachers, I think.
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I mean,
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Really, at least once a week, I think of something that he said.
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There s not that many people who are really funny and know why they re really funny.
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They can explain it to you, it seems like, don t you think, in comedy?
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Some people are just instinctively funny, and they don t know why.
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Some people can t explain what they do, but Phil could.
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And so he was just such an incredible teacher.
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But I d taken basic, and then I was asked to repeat it.
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No, that was a great thing.
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That was a great thing.
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And then so I had taken basic twice and then I got filled for intermediate.
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And I still think because they were teaching the classes up at that church on Highland and Franklin Scientology.
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And that s where I took the class with Phil.
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And I just loved him immediately.
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And I knew him from the Pee Wee Herman show.
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And he was, of course I knew him from coming to the Groundlings.
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So I was a huge fan of his.
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And he changed my life really.
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Like he, he, he could explain.
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I remember he, you know, he had
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exercises he talked about taking like we had to do like a Warner Brothers cartoon character and mash it with a family member we know intimately and come up with a character that s just half of each thing like how just how to do it like he just told you how to do it and he had a great laugh and he was so supportive of everyone and
1
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And then after that, we became friends and we hung out a lot and we became really just friends on our own.
1
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And it was very exciting to know him.
1
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And then when he got on SNL, it was such a big deal.
1
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It was so exciting.
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And then when I got on SNL, I really felt like I had a big brother at the show.
1
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Like it was just so great to have him there.
1
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And he would bring me in his office and kind of explain the things that were happening at SNL.
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Like I felt like I had somebody had my back.
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It was great.
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SPEAKER_04
Wow.
1
SPEAKER_04
It was Lorraine Newman as far as the groundling going to SNL, and then it was Jon Lovitz, and then it was Phil, and maybe you were the fourth.
1
SPEAKER_04
Hello?
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SPEAKER_00
Was I the fourth?
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SPEAKER_00
I guess maybe.
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Maybe not, I m not sure.
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There s a lot, I think.
1
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Also, Phil was great at teaching the hosts how to read the cue cards.
1
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Oh yes, he was.
1
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Without making it look like you re looking at the cue card.
1
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With the gold standard of.
1
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Yeah, he really knew how to cheat well, you know?
1
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And also, because I forgot to tell you this, I don t know if it ll ever come back to me.
1
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So you re just taking the floor.
1
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You have all the time in the world.
1
SPEAKER_01
So Phil s office was next to ours.
1
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Close, anyway.
1
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And I would go in there.
1
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On the same floor.
1
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Same floor.
1
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I can t remember, it was back in the 1900s.
1
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So I would go over to Phil, every time I went over to Phil s office, it seemed like he had a different hobby he was doing.
1
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He d either be painting one week, he had the easel in there, and books on how to paint, and different paints.
1
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And then the next week I d go in there, he s learning how to play the blues guitar.
1
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Paints were gone, the paints were gone.
1
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And then the next week he s sailing, and the next week he s flying an airplane.
1
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But he did all those things well.
1
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He was a really good artist.
1
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I know, I know.
1
SPEAKER_00
He did album covers.
1
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He did America s album cover.
1
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He was the only, I think I have this right, and I m sure you guys will correct me if I don t.
1
SPEAKER_02
He was the only cast member who got a writing credit, right?
1
SPEAKER_02
And it was because he had actually come to the show as a guest writer the season before you guys joined when Paul Rubens hosted the show.
1
SPEAKER_02
And he came with Paul.
1
SPEAKER_02
And then John and Phil were friends from the Groundlings and was pushing him.
1
SPEAKER_02
But he suddenly, I remember, it was kind of amusing to us that sometimes the cast would kind of notice the fact that
1
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they were doing an awful lot of writing.
1
SPEAKER_02
In some cases, more than Phil, but he was getting a writing credit, none of them were.
1
SPEAKER_02
And Phil did have a really full life with all these hobbies, interests.
1
SPEAKER_02
He loved to, he was a big surfer and a snow skier.
1
SPEAKER_02
And like, kind of like, you know,
1
SPEAKER_02
Sports, you wouldn t necessarily size him up and read him for like an adventure guy, you know, but he, Conan used to tell me that Phil would call him up like on a Tuesday and go, hey, Conan, let s go, you wanna go skiing up in Stratton?
1
SPEAKER_02
It s like, Phil, we have a show this week.
1
SPEAKER_02
He s like, well, I ll have you back by read through.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s like, but.
1
SPEAKER_02
But we have to write the show.
1
SPEAKER_02
I mean, that s what read through is.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s the reading of the pieces that the writers write.
1
SPEAKER_02
You should know this.
1
SPEAKER_02
You re a writer, you know?
1
SPEAKER_02
And it s, oh, come on.
1
SPEAKER_02
Come on, it s one week.
1
SPEAKER_02
And you guys like, I m sorry.
1
SPEAKER_02
Why is it funny to me?
1
SPEAKER_02
It is funny.
1
SPEAKER_02
You guys wrote an awful lot of stuff.
1
SPEAKER_02
Didn t get a writing cut.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was one of the people who complained, by the way.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I think they said just Phil gets that.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, I did get a writer s credit, Jim.
1
SPEAKER_01
My first year there.
1
SPEAKER_04
Because you came on as a writer feature.
1
SPEAKER_04
That s right.
1
SPEAKER_02
But once you were promoted to cast, promoted, it was like, welcome to your smaller paycheck.
1
SPEAKER_03
Let s back up a little bit.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m going to tell you a very brief story for the next 45 minutes.
1
SPEAKER_01
I had a, no, at the second season, Lawrence said, we could either make you a cast member or you could say feature and keep your writing credit.
1
SPEAKER_01
I said, well, I guess you know what I got to do.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I took the cast member and I, yeah, and I, we all kept writing and none of us got credit because Lawrence said, we re about, you know, getting paid.
1
SPEAKER_01
The writers got paid more, right, Jim?
1
SPEAKER_01
than the actors.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yes, the writers, yes, I want to say yes, that s true.
1
SPEAKER_02
We could go make money outside the show.
1
SPEAKER_02
And by the way, I mean, it is to the advantage of performers to write for themselves.
1
SPEAKER_02
It is.
1
SPEAKER_02
And the writers.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, wait a minute.
1
SPEAKER_02
Help me there.
1
SPEAKER_01
But, Jim.
1
SPEAKER_00
I love how this just devolved into us arguing about the house.
1
SPEAKER_04
So wait a minute, Julia.
1
SPEAKER_04
You wrote on this show.
1
SPEAKER_04
I m only hearing this now.
1
SPEAKER_04
You wrote all your stuff?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
But Lauren said the writers aren t going to go on and make a lot of money like we are.
1
SPEAKER_01
So cut to Conrad O Brien, Greg Daniels, Dave Mendel.
1
SPEAKER_00
By the way, Phil would have loved this discussion.
1
SPEAKER_02
He would have had all over it.
1
SPEAKER_02
No one would have laughed harder.
1
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, it was true that the feeling was that cast members, A, it was to their advantage to write for themselves if it helped them, you know, their image, and B, they were gonna make money in movies and so on in ways that writers can t.
1
SPEAKER_03
Jim was the head writer when I was there.
1
SPEAKER_04
And he was making $325,000 a week.
1
SPEAKER_03
I may have got that wrong.
1
SPEAKER_03
I know.
1
SPEAKER_03
Now, I think what happens, Julia, is when you and Kevin and Dana, we we would lose the writing credit and be cast.
1
SPEAKER_03
And then you thought you d get this cavalcade of sketches written for you.
1
SPEAKER_03
And then you go, wait.
1
Right.
1
SPEAKER_03
So I guess I still have to write because no one.
1
SPEAKER_03
is writing for me, and that s the way it always is.
1
SPEAKER_03
So anyway, getting back to Phil.
1
SPEAKER_03
Not yet.
1
SPEAKER_02
Not yet.
1
SPEAKER_02
The other half of that, though, is it s not just that Phil was the only one who got a writing credit and hence the salary and like an Emmy or something.
1
SPEAKER_04
In his own office.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_02
But.
1
SPEAKER_02
By it wasn t even close in terms of who which cast member did the writers write for Phil yeah Yeah
2
SPEAKER_02
This is turning against Phil, I think.
2
SPEAKER_02
This is an unexpected turn.
2
SPEAKER_02
We ll be back, we ll be back when we reset the stage.
2
SPEAKER_02
Our backup guests will be out in a moment.
2
SPEAKER_02
Can we just, on the writing thing?
2
SPEAKER_02
I m trying to diffuse it.
2
SPEAKER_02
I got some, I got some.
2
SPEAKER_02
I just want to say this.
2
SPEAKER_02
When Kevin and I did Hans and Franz, there s stuff that you put out there.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yes, love those guys.
2
SPEAKER_02
Do you remember?
2
SPEAKER_02
Anybody remember that?
2
SPEAKER_02
You guys remember that?
2
SPEAKER_02
Jim was a perfect example of the cast writing, and then Jim became a fan of the sketch, along with Robert Spiegel, and was a big contributor.
2
SPEAKER_02
But, you know, we designed the template.
2
SPEAKER_00
And Phil played the funniest role in those characters, Helmut.
2
SPEAKER_02
Well Hans and Franz were like these idiotic bullies and egomaniacs, paranoid schizophrenics.
2
SPEAKER_02
I remember.
2
SPEAKER_02
And Phil came on as the brow-beaten Helmut, this very sad sack.
2
SPEAKER_02
with a droopy prosthetic to make him look really pathetic.
2
SPEAKER_02
And that was the brilliant thing about Phil.
2
SPEAKER_02
He could come on and almost be like a silent clown in this, you know, very contained, and there s a lot of melancholy around him.
2
SPEAKER_02
Hello, I m Helmut.
2
SPEAKER_02
I am Helmut.
2
SPEAKER_02
I am Helmut.
2
SPEAKER_02
And Helmut, turn around so we can see your buttocks.
2
SPEAKER_02
You re lucky we don t have a campfire here.
2
SPEAKER_02
Your buttocks are like marshmallows.
2
SPEAKER_00
If you took your belt off, you d cause a flabberlatch.
2
SPEAKER_02
I could flick you with my little finger and you would fly across the room and land in your own baby poop.
2
SPEAKER_02
This is the sophistication of the writing.
2
SPEAKER_02
That was Jim Downey s line, I gotta say.
2
SPEAKER_02
Jim s like, how did you not get money for writing that stuff?
2
SPEAKER_00
And also his was the perfect embodiment of pumpitude.
2
SPEAKER_01
Jim, do you remember that?
2
SPEAKER_00
SNL?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it s a lot of water over the dam, but yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
That was funny shit, man.
2
SPEAKER_01
That was the kind of thing where, I mean, you guys walked in with that and Smigel and I both really responded to that.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so we would, you know, occasionally, you know,
2
SPEAKER_01
How about throw you a line or something?
2
SPEAKER_02
That s the best, that s when the show really is working.
2
SPEAKER_01
But that is, I mean, you know, the writers, it s really a performer show.
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, you wouldn t necessarily know it from the credit system, but it is, the performers are the leading edge of that show.
2
SPEAKER_01
And a performer, you know, can lift a mediocre script.
2
SPEAKER_01
you know, a great script can t necessarily work if the performer doesn t have something, you know?
2
SPEAKER_01
And anyway, we re on strike now, so we re not very popular.
2
SPEAKER_01
Is it illegal what we re doing right now?
2
SPEAKER_01
That did cross my mind, by the way.
2
SPEAKER_02
Was Fran Drescher, was she a groundling?
2
SPEAKER_02
Why is she in the audience in a mask?
2
SPEAKER_01
So anyway, Phil.
2
SPEAKER_01
I have a question, Downey, and you don t have to answer anything else.
2
SPEAKER_01
I have a Fran Drescher, a very funny Fran Drescher story.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, I m all ears.
2
SPEAKER_01
You have to know Al Franken, but it was a dinner.
2
SPEAKER_02
Dana, it s Al.
2
SPEAKER_01
Al had wanted very badly to take over Update.
2
SPEAKER_01
This was at the time when, in fact, Norm Macdonald.
2
SPEAKER_01
Norm Macdonald, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so, and Al was like really,
2
SPEAKER_01
making his case, as Al would do, you know, relentlessly over a long period of time and talking to lots of people.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so finally, Lauren said, well, if it s not gonna be Al, we need to tell him.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so we, it was one of these posh Italian restaurants, and, you know,
2
SPEAKER_01
So, and it was me, Lauren and Al, and we got to dinner and we finally get around to the, it s like, so what is it, what s it gonna be?
2
SPEAKER_01
And it s like, Al, we, Jim was thinking.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so we had just gotten done telling Al it s,
2
SPEAKER_01
The feeling is that it would be with you, it would be good, and certainly it would have an attitude, it would have a political edge, but maybe we want it to be, you know,
2
SPEAKER_01
not partisan, just sillier.
2
SPEAKER_01
And Al was like, wow.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he was, Al was very upset.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he just started to vent.
2
SPEAKER_01
And Fran Drescher, who d been at the next table, was like, hi!
2
SPEAKER_01
And it was just, I said, lawn!
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t do the Fran Drescher voice, obviously.
2
SPEAKER_01
But it was just, and she, I mean, I think she s great and funny and everything, but it was just the worst timing.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s just stepped right on Al s plaintiff thing.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I m sorry, I just sparked that one.
2
SPEAKER_02
You told me two things earlier, a little birdie told me, two things about Phil and Saturday Night Live.
2
SPEAKER_01
One was, I m certain this is true, that Phil was probably in more pieces
2
SPEAKER_01
than any cast member in history, especially now that the casts are so huge.
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, when you guys were there, it was more like eight, nine people.
2
SPEAKER_02
What kind of money is the cast making now?
2
SPEAKER_01
A lot of money, credits and everything.
2
SPEAKER_01
Phil would be in so many pieces.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
That our running order would be determined by his wigging requirements.
2
SPEAKER_01
Right.
2
SPEAKER_01
So that after you guys, after we d had that, the way the show works is on the last rehearsal, the studio breaks at 11 o clock on Friday night.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I would be up there
2
SPEAKER_01
in Lauren s office with Lauren and mainly the heads of the departments like the set and costume departments and making sure
2
SPEAKER_01
you know, hammering out a running order for dress, deciding which sketches would go where in the order.
2
SPEAKER_01
And the way it worked was we would have our ideal order based on the comedy and the flow.
2
SPEAKER_01
And let s, you know, this is a big full casting over with that.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then we, you know, this is a smaller piece that ll be a nice segue.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then we film here to transition something.
2
SPEAKER_01
And the way it works is,
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, it s like a Swiss army knife where we have, if we re producing like 13 pieces in this fairly tiny space, the sets, the same space has to serve as the base for like three sketches in the course of a night.
2
SPEAKER_01
So the sets have to be assembled, taken down, a new set brought in, and something has to be entertaining the audience while this is going on.
2
SPEAKER_01
So you have film and other, you can t do it during a sketch anyway.
2
SPEAKER_01
No one ever envisaged a problem where it would be a performer.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like amazingly, they found a way to, you know, to build like a Roman Colosseum piece during a film, little two minute film, and then remove it and turn it into like a,
2
SPEAKER_01
you know, modern restaurant.
2
SPEAKER_01
But the problem is like, can you get from like Roman Coliseum to, you know, Warsaw or something?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, we can, but wardrobe has the problem.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it was Phil s hair because Phil was in every piece.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so if it was like a bald pate, you know,
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, it does take time to get on if he s gonna be bald.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so we finally got to the point where just put him in a fucking bald pate and put wigs on him all night.
2
SPEAKER_01
Every night, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
So a lot of times he, but what we used to, he literally, we could like, we d have a running order there, perfect.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then Tom Broker, who was one of the costume people go, um, now I ve got a film problem.
2
SPEAKER_01
going from that to that, and it was only because he was in every fucking piece.
2
SPEAKER_03
And he was so organized.
2
SPEAKER_03
I remember him bringing me in, like he had this binder, he had things for every sketch, and the actors weren t that organized.
2
SPEAKER_03
Well, if you weren t in as many sketches as he was in, but he d be like in eight sketches in a show, like routinely.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m trying to remember if he ever had a light show, and cast members,
2
SPEAKER_01
That was a thing that we kept from you people to the extent we could, but sometimes Lauren would go, you know, Kevin s really light in the show.
3
SPEAKER_02
you know, anyone have, and often, you know, I m saying, for example, they put him in Dana.
3
SPEAKER_02
That was my choice, by the way.
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, it wasn t Dana, very often, but, no, but I mean, you know, and it would just be, it was the luck of the draw, except in the case of Phil, it just never, he never seemed to have, and I don t, I don t remember, although an interesting fun fact about Phil is that
3
SPEAKER_02
He never appeared even one time on Update.
3
SPEAKER_04
Really?
3
SPEAKER_02
He was the only cast member who never did.
3
SPEAKER_02
He managed to get through however many seasons he did.
3
SPEAKER_02
They couldn t get the wig on him in time.
3
SPEAKER_02
They couldn t do it.
3
SPEAKER_02
And he finally did when he
3
SPEAKER_02
came back to host the show after he left.
3
SPEAKER_02
He came back and he did Frankenstein on Update.
3
SPEAKER_03
This might be a good time to look at something for fun.
3
SPEAKER_03
We have a little clip of Phil as Frankenstein.
3
SPEAKER_03
It was Frankenstein.
3
SPEAKER_03
Jim wrote that, didn t you?
3
SPEAKER_03
It was Tarzan.
3
SPEAKER_03
Kevin played Tarzan.
3
SPEAKER_03
With Jack Handy and I would write that.
3
SPEAKER_03
Jack Handy.
3
SPEAKER_03
And Tonto was John Lovitz.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, the idea was it started with, we were gonna do a piece about cavemen Christmas caroling.
3
SPEAKER_02
And it was the idea of cavemen dropping out the, I guess it s the indefinite article.
3
SPEAKER_02
So the and and and stuff.
3
SPEAKER_02
So away in manger, no crib for bed.
3
SPEAKER_02
You know, that was the way they would sing.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then it became like, Tarzan, the thing with Tarzan was Tarzan, you know, Tarzan would speak like that with that kind of diction, but then suddenly throw like some highfalutin, you know, word at you, like Tarzan see White Hunter come on escarpment.
3
SPEAKER_02
And it s like, what?
3
SPEAKER_02
And so we had, you know, Tarzan was the same kind of idea and then, and Tonto, you know.
3
SPEAKER_02
So anyway, it was just that people who talked.
3
SPEAKER_03
Anyway, we have like a 45 second clip.
3
SPEAKER_03
No, that s good.
3
SPEAKER_03
We do have a short clip.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, but what about the INF Treaty?
3
SPEAKER_04
from a Frankenstein not understanding question.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I m sorry.
3
SPEAKER_00
The INF Treaty, it outlaws medium-range nuclear, excuse me, nuclear missiles.
3
SPEAKER_00
At least that in the European theater.
3
SPEAKER_05
Frankenstein!
3
SPEAKER_05
The film s breaking.
3
SPEAKER_02
Sassy.
3
SPEAKER_03
I couldn t see that, but was that where the set literally started?
3
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, and then Phil lost it.
3
SPEAKER_03
He came crawling out.
3
SPEAKER_01
And he never did that.
3
SPEAKER_01
He never broke.
3
SPEAKER_03
That was the only time he broke, and he broke hard.
3
SPEAKER_04
Jim, did you see his audition?
3
SPEAKER_04
You probably watched all of our auditions, right?
3
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
You re all great.
3
SPEAKER_02
Do you still look at them?
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t regret any of the choices we ve made.
3
SPEAKER_04
I want you to know that.
3
SPEAKER_04
Thanks, dad.
3
SPEAKER_04
And Phil, so what happens is you guys usually, you and Lauren, they hear about someone.
3
SPEAKER_04
To get as far as an audition, it takes a lot, right?
3
SPEAKER_04
So they re already probably pretty good just to get in front of you guys.
3
SPEAKER_04
So by the time you see Phil, you ve heard a lot.
3
SPEAKER_04
Was he hired before Kevin and Dana?
3
SPEAKER_04
No, we all came out at the same time.
3
SPEAKER_04
Oh, you were all on the same show.
3
SPEAKER_04
We re not paying attention, man.
3
SPEAKER_04
I drifted off in the middle.
3
SPEAKER_02
And so he might have technically been.
3
SPEAKER_02
in the discussion just because of the Paul, he had been at the show the year before and John Lovitz was- John had to talk him into it.
3
SPEAKER_03
He didn t want to.
3
SPEAKER_03
I didn t know that.
3
SPEAKER_01
He didn t want to what?
3
SPEAKER_03
Be a cast member.
3
SPEAKER_03
I mean, when I met him, he was supposedly a writer and John kept going, he s the funniest, he s the greatest, you gotta hire him.
3
SPEAKER_03
And John was really new, he d seen him here.
3
SPEAKER_03
Well, they worked together.
3
SPEAKER_02
They worked together.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
They did pieces, didn t they?
3
SPEAKER_03
So Julie, did Phil recommend you, was that any, or you just- I don t think so, I mean- Did you audition right here?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I auditioned here.
3
SPEAKER_03
Like where, physically?
3
SPEAKER_03
I like the time machine.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like around this whole area.
3
SPEAKER_03
Like right there, wow.
3
SPEAKER_03
Was I here?
3
SPEAKER_03
Was I right here?
3
SPEAKER_01
You were right there cheering me on.
3
SPEAKER_01
I remember it was between me and Lisa Kudrow, and when I got it, I thought, I really hope that Lisa has a career.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because she deserves something.
3
SPEAKER_01
She s so good.
3
SPEAKER_01
Something.
3
SPEAKER_03
Scraps.
3
SPEAKER_03
It just shows you.
3
SPEAKER_03
You never know in show business.
3
SPEAKER_03
You never know.
3
SPEAKER_03
But you came on.
3
SPEAKER_03
Did you bring, in your bag of tricks, It s Pat?
3
SPEAKER_03
Did you have that developed here?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes, I had done it here, but I had this character that I d done many times here called Mia Culpa.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I thought that was gonna be my big, you know, character.
3
SPEAKER_01
But then Pat, I d only done one sketch here as Pat.
3
SPEAKER_03
What was Mia Coppa like?
3
SPEAKER_01
It was just a character.
3
SPEAKER_01
She apologized for everything.
3
SPEAKER_03
Well, can you give it 10 seconds?
3
SPEAKER_03
No, she s an apologist.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m Mia, talk like this.
3
SPEAKER_01
And she just said, I m sorry, I m sorry, so sorry, I m sorry.
3
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, anyway, oh yes.
3
SPEAKER_01
But anyway.
3
SPEAKER_01
I had one best play of the LA Weekly.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like I thought, okay, I have my character and I could not get this character on.
3
SPEAKER_01
In fact, Al Franken said he thinks I did more sketches trying to get that character on than any other person he d ever seen.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think I tried to get on 15 sketches as Mia Culpa.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then I thought, you know what?
3
SPEAKER_01
They don t like this character.
3
SPEAKER_03
Did it get to dress, or you just did it at read-through?
3
SPEAKER_03
Did it ever get to dress?
3
SPEAKER_01
No, no.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay, just read-through.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, just read-through.
3
SPEAKER_01
But then Al put it in his movie, in Stuart Saves His Family.
3
SPEAKER_01
He had me play that character.
3
SPEAKER_03
So you were good enough, strong enough.
3
SPEAKER_03
As a compensation, so I finally got to do it.
3
SPEAKER_01
All right.
3
SPEAKER_01
But no, I d only done Pat.
3
SPEAKER_01
I had done Pat here as a down-left, but... How did you come up with the name Mia Culpa?
3
SPEAKER_02
What does it mean?
3
SPEAKER_03
Just in a common.
3
SPEAKER_03
Jim, Julia, Kevin.
3
SPEAKER_03
Now, you know, I m saying I was going to say, I remember.
3
SPEAKER_04
What we don t talk about a lot is the commercial parodies.
3
SPEAKER_04
And some of my favorite ones were Coal and Blow.
3
SPEAKER_04
Coal and Blow.
3
SPEAKER_04
Phil was the star of that one.
3
SPEAKER_04
He did my first thing I ever wrote was Chia Head.
3
SPEAKER_04
Kevin, were you in that?
3
SPEAKER_04
I think you were in that.
3
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_04
Chia Head.
3
SPEAKER_04
Chris Rock.
3
SPEAKER_01
Were you in that, Julia?
3
SPEAKER_01
Chia Head?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t think so.
3
SPEAKER_04
Chia Head, I think Chris Rock was.
3
SPEAKER_04
And Phil did that.
3
SPEAKER_04
I think he did Salon.
3
SPEAKER_04
There s a couple more.
3
SPEAKER_04
So I remember- Change Bank.
3
SPEAKER_04
Did he do Change Bank?
3
SPEAKER_04
You did Change Bank.
3
SPEAKER_04
Well, Jim was the announcer for Change Bank.
3
SPEAKER_04
That s like when you tell Reggie Jackson he had three home runs, Jim goes like this, oh yeah, I remember Change Bank.
3
SPEAKER_03
Oh yeah.
3
SPEAKER_03
How would you describe Change Bank?
3
SPEAKER_03
It was a very quiet digression, a bank, a commercial for a bank.
3
SPEAKER_02
It was just a guy.
3
SPEAKER_02
A guy, a not very mediagenic guy, way too excited about something that he was the most excited person about.
3
SPEAKER_02
And it was explaining something at great length that everyone gets instantly without the explanation.
3
SPEAKER_02
And it s just something that always made me laugh as a writer, just like,
3
SPEAKER_02
No, you don t understand, it ll be great, because, you know, like, I remember wrote a piece one time about the female owner, Joan Kroc, who was like, she owned the, she owned the Padres?
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh, Ray Kroc s widow?
3
SPEAKER_02
Somebody, anyway, she was giving a talk to the team, to the baseball team, and saying, and you hitters, tonight, hit a home run, hit a home run, and I ll tell you why, I ll tell you why.
3
SPEAKER_02
Because when you hit a home run, you get to run around all of the bases.
3
SPEAKER_02
True, true, you know, and so, and you know, I don t know, I was just, but Change Bank is like,
3
SPEAKER_01
Two little change bank for us.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_03
Change bank, change bank, change bank.
3
SPEAKER_04
People, they don t know the idea is people bring change in.
3
SPEAKER_04
The bank would make you change.
3
SPEAKER_02
The only thing this bank did was to actually make change.
3
SPEAKER_02
And so it was just a guy, an art.
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, I wrote it for Kevin.
3
SPEAKER_02
I wrote the part with Kevin playing it.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I remember, and maybe you forgot.
3
SPEAKER_02
Because I was late in the show.
3
SPEAKER_02
We ll be right back.
4
SPEAKER_04
The plan was, but Kevin, I remember I was getting very notey with the performance thing and you were the one who suggested that I do it instead.
4
SPEAKER_04
And then I became much lighter in the show.
4
SPEAKER_04
Well, but no, but I mean, it was, I remember you were saying, Jim, no hard feelings.
4
SPEAKER_04
You seem to, you have very specific ideas about this.
4
SPEAKER_04
And I mean, you could do it, why don t you do it?
4
SPEAKER_04
And I was sort of thinking... I was like, why don t you just do it?
4
SPEAKER_04
It wasn t that tone at all, but... No, I m not mad, I m not mad.
4
SPEAKER_04
Do a little bit of it.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, show us how great it is.
4
SPEAKER_03
Well, I mean...
4
SPEAKER_04
I mean, it was, by the way, it was like 30, was it in 1988?
4
SPEAKER_04
So 12 plus, it s 35 years ago.
4
SPEAKER_04
That s a long ass time ago.
4
SPEAKER_04
Easy, easy.
4
SPEAKER_04
Maybe we don t have to hear it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Jim, let me hear it.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m this close to doing it, if you don t do it.
4
SPEAKER_05
It s just like, if you want change for a dollar, we can give you $10.
4
SPEAKER_04
It opens with a graphic like, at First Citywide Change Bank, we do one thing, we make change.
4
SPEAKER_04
And it s like, you can bring us in a $10 bill, a $5 bill, we will give you change.
4
SPEAKER_04
You can bring a $5 bill, we ll give you five singles,
4
SPEAKER_04
25, 20 quarters, 50 dimes, you know, and I m explaining, and many people don t realize the sheer variety of change combinations that are available.
4
SPEAKER_04
That was just an excitable guy.
4
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_05
All right, we have a clip of change bank.
4
SPEAKER_05
No, I m kidding.
4
SPEAKER_05
Oh, I thought we did.
4
SPEAKER_06
Oh, they re disappointed.
4
SPEAKER_06
Did he do the car you can fuck, was that one?
4
SPEAKER_06
The Car You Can Fuck?
4
SPEAKER_04
Is that one?
4
SPEAKER_04
That sounds like something we did, but I don t... I thought that was... Sounds like a keeper.
4
SPEAKER_04
I know we did.
4
SPEAKER_04
Bonnie and Terry Turner wrote a really funny piece.
4
SPEAKER_04
It was about a car.
4
SPEAKER_04
It was called the Chameleon.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_04
And it was a luxury car that no one would steal because it was like inside it s like, you know, plush leather and just the finest, you know, mahogany glove box and all this stuff, super, super, but the exterior was rust and Bondo.
4
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_04
And it was just designed to look like a piece of crap that wouldn t get stolen.
4
SPEAKER_06
Yeah, I remember that one.
4
SPEAKER_04
All right, well, here s some Phil.
4
SPEAKER_04
And Phil was in that.
4
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_04
He was in everything.
4
SPEAKER_06
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_05
Phil was loaded, and he was always great.
4
SPEAKER_05
Okay, well, we have a lot of clips.
4
SPEAKER_05
Okay, David, you can decide.
4
SPEAKER_05
Can you read those?
4
SPEAKER_05
I don t want it to be a sketch we did with me.
4
SPEAKER_06
Well, oh, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_06
Church chat?
4
SPEAKER_06
Why don t you do...
4
SPEAKER_06
Well, do show the rest of that Frank Sinatra we showed earlier.
4
SPEAKER_06
That was a big one.
4
SPEAKER_05
The Sinatra Group.
4
SPEAKER_05
All right, let s talk about that for a sec.
4
SPEAKER_05
We d done McLaughlin Group on the show, and then the idea was to have Bonnie and Terry had done a Frank Sinatra sketch with Phil, who did a great Frank Sinatra.
4
SPEAKER_05
and then the inspiration, I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_04
I think it was Robert Smigel, probably.
4
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, so it s, if you haven t seen it, it s Frank Sinatra has a kind of a news talk show, and he s very critical of everybody.
4
SPEAKER_05
That s all you really have to know.
4
SPEAKER_05
He hates his guests.
4
SPEAKER_05
It s filling all his glory in this particular sketch.
4
SPEAKER_06
Billy Idol is played by Sting.
4
SPEAKER_06
I think it was Sting.
4
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, that s right.
4
SPEAKER_05
Jan Hooks was Sinead O Connor.
4
SPEAKER_04
And we had Mike Myers and Vickie as Steve and Edie.
4
SPEAKER_06
Chris Rock was Luther Campbell.
4
SPEAKER_04
I was not in that sketch.
4
SPEAKER_05
Well, let s look at it.
4
SPEAKER_05
Let s go to a clip.
4
SPEAKER_05
We ll figure it out.
4
SPEAKER_07
Rita Hayworth or Ava Gardner, who would you rather nail?
4
SPEAKER_07
I d have sworn by myself because they re dumb boots.
4
SPEAKER_00
Off with your bloody stupid old fart.
4
SPEAKER_07
You re all fucked, Melinda.
4
SPEAKER_07
You want a piece of me, I m right here.
4
SPEAKER_07
Don t provoke me, old man.
4
SPEAKER_07
You don t scare me.
4
SPEAKER_07
I got chunks of guys like you in my school.
4
SPEAKER_07
Oh, OK.
4
SPEAKER_05
That was the same clip from before.
4
SPEAKER_05
I think there s a legal reason they re so short.
4
SPEAKER_05
Well, let s see if we can get lucky with the next one.
4
SPEAKER_05
Phil, Kevin, do you want to look at the hair?
4
SPEAKER_01
Just hold it up.
4
SPEAKER_01
Just hold it up over there.
4
SPEAKER_06
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_06
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_06
Kevin, we don t have a clip, but you did Siskel and Ebert.
4
SPEAKER_06
I saw that on, on.
4
SPEAKER_06
Was that funny?
4
SPEAKER_06
What was that?
4
SPEAKER_04
What happened to Johnny Carson and McMahon?
4
SPEAKER_04
Johnny Carson and McMahon.
4
SPEAKER_04
That s a closer.
4
SPEAKER_06
That s feels like a closer.
4
SPEAKER_05
Well, we should take them when we can.
4
SPEAKER_05
Johnny Carson, me doing that with Phil Hartman was one of my favorite.
4
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, how about Reagan?
4
SPEAKER_05
Reagan Mastermind.
4
SPEAKER_04
Reagan Mastermind, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_04
That was written by virtually the entire writing staff.
4
SPEAKER_05
This was, should we, this was Phil Hartman playing Ronald Reagan, the doddering fool, and then the guest would leave, and then he would switch the whole war room out, and he d speak 10 languages, and he became incredibly sharp.
4
SPEAKER_06
It was a tour de force for Phil.
4
SPEAKER_06
Always faking being dumb, and then when the doors closed, he d be smart.
4
SPEAKER_06
I remember, I think I saw that before I came on the show.
4
SPEAKER_06
No, that was before I was on.
4
SPEAKER_06
Should we look at it?
4
SPEAKER_07
Yes, let s look at it!
4
SPEAKER_00
Maybe I could use you up on Capitol Hill.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it was nice meeting you.
4
SPEAKER_00
Come on, Lisa.
4
SPEAKER_00
Come on.
4
SPEAKER_00
Damn, that s... Darn it!
4
SPEAKER_06
When did you phase Dennis out of sketches, Jim?
4
SPEAKER_05
Dennis looked pretty cool with his haircut.
4
SPEAKER_06
I thought that was you at first.
4
SPEAKER_05
We were, yeah, we were interchangeable.
4
SPEAKER_05
Christ sakes, I had my hair slicked back.
4
SPEAKER_05
Dennis was in a pompadour on that piece of tape, OK?
4
SPEAKER_04
He was asking some impertinent questions about a writer s credit.
4
SPEAKER_04
And we decided to make an example of it.
4
SPEAKER_06
Dennis.
4
SPEAKER_06
Wait, Kevin was telling us about Siskel and Eber.
4
SPEAKER_06
We don t have a clip, but what was that one?
4
SPEAKER_01
It was not my favorite, I ll tell you that.
4
SPEAKER_01
And now that you brought that up, I even forgot I was in.
4
SPEAKER_01
Who did I play?
4
SPEAKER_06
I thought you said you liked it.
4
SPEAKER_01
No, I never liked that.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, really?
4
SPEAKER_01
Maybe I did, what was it about?
4
SPEAKER_04
It s been 35 years.
4
SPEAKER_04
We didn t do a Siskel-Niebert sketch, did we?
4
SPEAKER_04
Is this the, these the people we re talking about?
4
SPEAKER_06
Yeah, no, Kevin and- There s a little known fact, a little trivia.
4
SPEAKER_06
Phil did a Siskel-Niebert sketch.
4
SPEAKER_04
We did?
4
SPEAKER_06
You must have been there.
4
SPEAKER_04
Later.
4
SPEAKER_04
I would have been there, but I don t remember.
4
SPEAKER_06
You would have been there during that, right?
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, let s do that.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, let s do that.
4
SPEAKER_05
Let s do the ones where John would be too emotional.
4
SPEAKER_06
He said, I talked to him today for an hour and I we talked to him yesterday on in person at my house and when about all this and then he said he was too scared to.
4
SPEAKER_06
Count me, he would break down.
4
SPEAKER_05
He s too emotional, but he was, he and Phil were, when I first got on the show, I didn t really know him that well.
4
SPEAKER_05
We re just hanging out at Lauren s house and they always talked as gangsters to each other.
4
SPEAKER_05
What s up, how are you?
4
SPEAKER_05
Hey, hello, what s up?
4
SPEAKER_05
Dynamite, the producer said, is that all they do?
4
SPEAKER_05
Have you seen him do, have you seen him do anything else?
4
SPEAKER_05
He goes, all day long, we want a sandwich, sure boss, right over here, you know.
4
SPEAKER_05
So then they wrote this sketch where, I kind of wish we showed these whole sketches.
4
SPEAKER_05
Did they do it here?
4
SPEAKER_06
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_05
Where John is the movie studio head and Phil is the washed up actor.
4
SPEAKER_05
And here s a short clip.
4
SPEAKER_05
From the 40s or something, right?
4
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, they re in that whole mode.
4
SPEAKER_07
You ve made too many of these war movies.
4
SPEAKER_03
Maybe I should take a rest.
4
SPEAKER_03
I m glad you brought that up, Johnny.
4
SPEAKER_03
I think you should take a rest too.
4
SPEAKER_03
A permanent one.
4
SPEAKER_03
What do you mean?
4
SPEAKER_03
I m letting you go.
4
SPEAKER_03
You mean... Yes, your contract isn t being renewed.
4
SPEAKER_03
But Harry, I... You re finished, Johnny.
4
SPEAKER_03
Don t mix words!
4
SPEAKER_03
I think you stink!
4
SPEAKER_03
Listen, Harry, if you re unhappy with my work, tell me now!
4
SPEAKER_03
You re cruel!
4
SPEAKER_03
You hear me?
4
SPEAKER_03
Cruel!
4
SPEAKER_03
You ll never work in this town again!
4
SPEAKER_07
Don t leave me hanging by a thread!
4
SPEAKER_07
Look at the words!
4
SPEAKER_02
I think you re the worst actor I ve ever seen, and I get $500 a day telling me the same!
4
SPEAKER_07
What s the word on the street?
4
SPEAKER_07
Ha-ha!
4
SPEAKER_05
So yeah, they had a quite a
5
SPEAKER_00
rep up Paul oh yeah well a lot of people ask me how I got on Saturday Night Live and actually they phrase it more like this how did you get on Saturday Night Live?
5
SPEAKER_00
And then later on, it s like, you were on Saturday Night Live.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was more confused than Spade getting on there.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I had nothing.
5
SPEAKER_00
I had not one character.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s true.
5
SPEAKER_00
Nothing going on for myself.
5
SPEAKER_04
Well, what about- And I didn t realize it was The Height.
5
SPEAKER_04
Subliminal Man, which you- Yeah, that I had going on.
5
SPEAKER_04
You killed on the first- Can you hum a few bars?
5
SPEAKER_04
Subliminal Man, could you do a little bit of that?
5
SPEAKER_04
Because that was on the first show and it killed.
5
SPEAKER_04
You did it on Update.
5
SPEAKER_04
Oh, you did the first show?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it was me and Victoria Jackson and Jon Lovitz.
5
SPEAKER_00
And it was a advertising company.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I remember, this is my first sketch I ve ever done.
5
SPEAKER_00
And it s a little difficult because you have like two conversations going on and you really couldn t go off the cue cards because it s kind of rapid dialogue.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I m standing there waiting to go on, first time ever.
5
SPEAKER_00
And Lorne comes up alongside of me and he puts his hand on my shoulder, like 10 seconds away, he goes, are you sure this is what you want?
5
SPEAKER_04
That s a great one.
5
SPEAKER_04
Very Lorne, a great Lorne.
5
SPEAKER_04
He loved to scare us, but it was hysterical in retrospect.
5
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_04
It d be really, like, really nice if this was, like, funny.
5
SPEAKER_04
You know, right?
5
SPEAKER_04
I mean, that was Lorne s sense of humor.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that was so him.
5
SPEAKER_00
But that character was basically, you know, he d be talking about, you know, boy, I d, you know, I d love to have dinner with you tonight, your treat.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know, if you want to,
5
SPEAKER_00
you know, hang out afterwards, your place, and that d be a lot of fun, you know?
5
SPEAKER_00
So it was always kind of flipping those words in there.
5
SPEAKER_04
What was the one where the audience would fill in the blanks?
5
SPEAKER_04
That I never did on that show.
5
SPEAKER_04
I was in the audience at the Tonight Show, when we were living together, and I was one of the people... That was Merv Griffin.
5
SPEAKER_04
And you were Merv Griffin.
5
SPEAKER_04
Jim was Arthur Treacher.
5
SPEAKER_00
That was not SNL.
5
SPEAKER_03
That was Carson.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
It was just like, I d be telling a story, true story.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I wouldn t ask the audience to fill in the word.
5
SPEAKER_00
I would just say, you know, it was crazy.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was driving home last night, right out here on- Melrose?
5
SPEAKER_00
Melrose, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
And you know, I m a little tired.
5
SPEAKER_00
I had like one drink and it was late at night.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was probably like,
5
SPEAKER_00
Midnight.
5
SPEAKER_00
Midnight.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know, midnight.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I m telling you, I ve been in this town for a long time, and I usually carry a little... Cash.
5
SPEAKER_00
Cash, you know, in my car.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I m telling you, this was a little.
5
SPEAKER_00
This was from the change bank, actually.
5
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, it went on and on like that.
5
SPEAKER_03
Kevin, when these two guys were, like, my favorite stand-ups, when I was at the improv, I d always go watch them, and I always knew Kevin s jokes.
5
SPEAKER_03
But let s remember, this is not about me.
5
SPEAKER_03
This is about Phil.
5
SPEAKER_03
This isn t about you?
5
SPEAKER_03
I thought it switched halfway through.
5
SPEAKER_04
I got a text.
5
SPEAKER_04
The topic is movie talk.
5
SPEAKER_04
Julie, do you have a... Oh, Jim has a stand-up show.
5
SPEAKER_02
No, I was just thinking of something that actually involves, very much involves Kevin and Phil.
5
SPEAKER_02
Now, you guys remember that I was pretty contained at the read-through table.
5
SPEAKER_02
Partly, you know, it s my nature.
5
SPEAKER_02
Partly, you know, it s a matter of, like, I didn t want to, you know,
5
SPEAKER_02
You know, I had to be like a judge.
5
SPEAKER_02
You didn t laugh very hard.
5
SPEAKER_02
I didn t laugh very hard.
5
SPEAKER_02
There was one time I absolutely, a couple times at Damon Wayans audition, I completely lost my shit.
5
SPEAKER_02
And then at, when it was a piece that Kevin wrote,
5
SPEAKER_02
which I hope is well known to the audience and I hope it s online.
5
SPEAKER_02
But the first one was called The Hostage.
5
SPEAKER_02
And it was Phil plays like this hopped up thug in like a wife beater t-shirt and his hair greased back and tatted up and everything.
5
SPEAKER_02
Kevin is like a straight-laced businessman who s tied up in this rat hole apartment and feels like waving this huge fucking gat in his face going like, if you re real smart, you re gonna play ball.
5
SPEAKER_02
These people are gonna come up with this razzle, right?
5
SPEAKER_02
I m a beamy motherfucker.
5
SPEAKER_02
I m a bad-ass bad apple.
5
SPEAKER_02
I m rotten at the core.
5
SPEAKER_02
I m just gonna put a bullet through your head as I look at you.
5
SPEAKER_02
And so, and so, and so he s like, you know, super intimidating.
5
SPEAKER_02
And, and then Kevin, and Kevin says, I know, they re going to get that ransom honestly.
5
SPEAKER_02
Hey, what s that over there?
5
SPEAKER_02
And he tries, tries to escape.
5
SPEAKER_02
Phil instantly, instantly stops it.
5
SPEAKER_02
And he goes, what the hell was that about?
5
SPEAKER_02
What is he trying to do?
5
SPEAKER_02
I just got done telling you I m a bad, bad mother.
5
SPEAKER_02
You re actually right, sir.
5
SPEAKER_02
I had no business doing that.
5
SPEAKER_02
That was complete.
5
SPEAKER_02
I was in the wrong.
5
SPEAKER_02
You re dead right, you re in the wrong.
5
SPEAKER_02
You re dead right, you see that?
5
SPEAKER_02
That s a gun, bang, bang.
5
SPEAKER_02
Bullet goes through your head.
5
SPEAKER_02
And he goes, and so Kevin pledges and then immediately tries to escape again.
5
SPEAKER_02
The whole thing was, the whole sketch is Kevin repeatedly trying to escape after Phil threatens him.
5
SPEAKER_02
And then Phil forgiving him.
5
SPEAKER_02
Falling for it.
5
SPEAKER_02
And life giving him another chance.
5
SPEAKER_00
But the topper was at the end where his name was Mace by the way in there.
5
SPEAKER_00
He says, I gotta go to the bathroom.
5
SPEAKER_00
You better not leave.
5
SPEAKER_05
So he goes to the bathroom.
5
SPEAKER_01
I gotta hit the head.
5
SPEAKER_01
He would shut the door and he had to sit down, you know?
5
SPEAKER_01
And he would... He would push the door open just a little bit.
5
SPEAKER_01
To see if I was...
5
SPEAKER_06
Oh God, that s a perfect film.
5
SPEAKER_00
He was great with that.
5
SPEAKER_00
That mace was great.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then we did another one of the peeping Tom.
5
SPEAKER_00
Ross the peeping Tom.
5
SPEAKER_00
You better get out of the way from the window.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m not going to tell you again.
5
SPEAKER_02
Chad Hooks was like a prostitute and Phil has just gotten out.
5
SPEAKER_02
He s just gotten out of like a, you know, a three year stretch or something.
5
SPEAKER_02
He s like, oh yeah, little lady.
5
SPEAKER_02
Mace is gonna take real good care of you.
5
SPEAKER_02
And she s like, yeah, whatever, just get it done.
5
SPEAKER_02
And like, he s like, oh man.
5
SPEAKER_02
Oh, bass is gonna get it done, little girl.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s gonna get it done real.
5
SPEAKER_02
Hey, hey, you!
5
SPEAKER_02
And it s Kevin, little Kevin s head in the window.
5
SPEAKER_02
What the hell are you doing, you freak?
5
SPEAKER_02
You sick freak?
5
SPEAKER_02
And it s the same dynamic, but the thing that I was getting at was, Kevin, I was astonished
5
SPEAKER_02
Later, I just assumed like, well, Phil, so is this a character Phil had done at the Groundlings or something?
5
SPEAKER_02
And Kevin decided, hey, I have an idea for your Mace character for this piece.
5
SPEAKER_02
And Phil just said, oh, no, I just, no, Kevin just wrote the script and I was just interpreting it.
5
SPEAKER_00
I thought he did a character named Mace here, no?
5
SPEAKER_00
No.
5
SPEAKER_00
Mace was one of his.
5
SPEAKER_00
He sat in after a few times.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t think so.
5
SPEAKER_00
But then he is talented.
5
SPEAKER_06
Perfect Phil character.
5
SPEAKER_02
That is so perfect.
5
SPEAKER_02
I used to sit, Phil would sit right next to me.
5
SPEAKER_02
I would sit, yeah, I mean, me and Lauren sat at the table and Phil would, I don t know why, but maybe the writing credits, I think he sat right at the right hand up at the table.
5
SPEAKER_02
And so he s doing that character right next to me.
5
SPEAKER_02
And there was something about,
5
SPEAKER_02
It was like, you know, like kind of like accordion kind of, that kind of energy that comes.
5
SPEAKER_02
I mean, it was, you couldn t sit, just sit and, you know, quietly poker face that thing.
5
SPEAKER_02
It was, but I strongly urge people to try to find it online.
5
SPEAKER_02
It should be.
5
SPEAKER_03
I have a copy at home if anybody wants to see it.
5
SPEAKER_03
You know, Kevin, you did a sketch I thought was very funny once.
5
SPEAKER_03
Please, it s not about me.
5
SPEAKER_03
Well, Phil, Phil was in it.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, maybe is Julia or Victoria, but it was waiters without a pad.
5
SPEAKER_03
And for him to be for him to be.
5
SPEAKER_03
I love that one.
5
SPEAKER_03
Kevin was the funny one in it.
5
SPEAKER_03
But Phil underplaying his part is always sells.
5
SPEAKER_03
the other side of the sketch, and it s very hard to do, and then you re getting twice the laughs, because you get a laugh, and then he gets his reaction.
5
SPEAKER_06
He was so good at that.
5
SPEAKER_06
He totally understood what you were going for in the sketch, and what was needed from him, and how he could elevate the sketch.
5
SPEAKER_02
We were just talking about that piece earlier, and I bet you remember this moment in the piece where Phil is, Kevin has shown up, he s super smooth, and it s an elegant restaurant, and he s taking these complicated orders,
5
SPEAKER_02
And at one point, so he says, aren t you going to write any of this down?
5
SPEAKER_02
Oh, no, that won t be necessary.
5
SPEAKER_02
And so Kevin leaves, and Phil s like, one of the guests is, wow, that s really impressive that he can memorize all the words.
6
SPEAKER_02
those complicated orders, and it s like, listen, he s a professional at his job, and I ll tell you something else, Betty makes a damn good living at it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Do you remember that line?
6
SPEAKER_02
The reading on it, he makes a damn good living.
6
SPEAKER_02
I mean, don t kid yourself.
6
SPEAKER_02
Red guy, he s sharp.
6
SPEAKER_01
So he never writes it down.
6
SPEAKER_01
He gets it wrong every single time.
6
SPEAKER_02
But the joke, the joke, like a typical joke in the piece is like, it s like, would you like to start off with a drink?
6
SPEAKER_02
And it s like, so people are giving very specific, very memorable drinks.
6
SPEAKER_02
Like, yes, I d like a vodka martini with just a little bit of vermouth on it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Got him.
6
SPEAKER_00
Got him.
6
SPEAKER_00
Angostura beers.
6
SPEAKER_02
Very nice choice.
6
SPEAKER_02
And then.
6
SPEAKER_02
Very nice.
6
SPEAKER_02
So Kevin s approving.
6
SPEAKER_02
And then I d like just a white wine, simple white wine, glass of wine.
6
SPEAKER_02
Okay, Chardonnay, that d be excellent.
6
SPEAKER_02
And then Kevin comes back.
6
SPEAKER_02
So they talk about how brilliant Kevin must be.
6
SPEAKER_02
And then he comes back, here s your drinks, the Red Bull, Red Coke.
6
SPEAKER_02
For the gentleman, the Diet Yoo-Hoo for the lady, and for the gentleman, a creme de cassis.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s like, that s not what I ordered.
6
SPEAKER_02
Oh, it s like, really?
6
SPEAKER_02
Anyway, that was, so it s Kevin s refusal to write anything down.
6
SPEAKER_03
My sketches seemed to escalate with the same premise, just more and more, until it got so absurd.
6
SPEAKER_03
I remember the last order I took.
6
SPEAKER_03
Well, I don t remember it.
6
SPEAKER_03
But the last bit was I would go off with their order.
6
SPEAKER_03
No, I swear to God, I ll get it right this time.
6
SPEAKER_03
I know exactly what you want.
6
SPEAKER_03
OK, I got it.
6
SPEAKER_03
I got it.
6
SPEAKER_03
I got it.
6
SPEAKER_03
Don t worry about it at all.
6
SPEAKER_03
And I leave.
6
SPEAKER_03
And then Phil s phone rings.
6
SPEAKER_03
And he picks it up.
6
SPEAKER_03
And then you cut to me.
6
SPEAKER_03
I m by the kitchen.
6
SPEAKER_03
I m sorry.
6
SPEAKER_03
Once again, that was the tuna tartare.
6
SPEAKER_03
Meatloaf?
6
SPEAKER_03
No, why don t you just write it down?
6
SPEAKER_03
I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it.
6
SPEAKER_02
Oh, wait a minute.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m sorry, one of the nicest things you were, Dave, you were talking about Phil s contribution.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s at one point, Phil s like, I think I ll give, I m happy to give you the order again, but this time, I think you might want to write it down.
6
SPEAKER_02
And Kevin s like, no, sir, that won t be necessary.
6
SPEAKER_02
Friend.
6
SPEAKER_02
Friend, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
Fred is the one here.
6
SPEAKER_01
Listen, Fred.
6
SPEAKER_03
He s quietly stewing and he s getting his foot boiling over.
6
SPEAKER_03
And that was with Rosie.
6
SPEAKER_03
Rosie O Donnell, no?
6
SPEAKER_03
No, that was with the, who s the, she had a talk show.
6
SPEAKER_03
Rosie O Donnell.
6
SPEAKER_00
Who I was dating at the time.
6
SPEAKER_03
I remember.
6
SPEAKER_03
But what else did I do that was funny?
6
SPEAKER_04
Kevin, I know one of yours that is thematic to this.
6
SPEAKER_04
I don t know if it got on air, but it always stuck in my head.
6
SPEAKER_04
It was the boxer who s really scared.
6
SPEAKER_04
He s backstage and he keeps getting phone calls from people asking where to park and how to get tickets.
6
SPEAKER_04
I always thought that was a premise.
6
SPEAKER_03
That was a very common thing on SNL.
6
SPEAKER_03
You spent more time trying to get your friends in, make sure they had their tickets, and they had parking, and, you know, whatever.
6
SPEAKER_00
Where do you go?
6
SPEAKER_03
When you should be working on your lines and remembering things and, you know, talking to wardrobe or whatever.
6
SPEAKER_03
It s, OK, the tickets should be down there.
6
SPEAKER_03
They re not down there?
6
SPEAKER_03
Did you check with the usher?
6
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, the guy on the set.
6
SPEAKER_03
No, I got nothing to do.
6
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I m fine.
6
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, go ahead.
6
SPEAKER_03
Go ahead.
6
SPEAKER_01
So that was that.
6
SPEAKER_01
I was doing a gig doing stand up just two weeks ago.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I m at a restaurant and sometimes you see the people at the restaurant when they re coming to the sold out theater or whatever it is.
6
SPEAKER_01
So it doesn t matter.
6
SPEAKER_01
Go ticketmaster.
6
SPEAKER_01
So these this this table full of like seven is sitting there and a guy goes, Spinner, I m going to show tonight.
6
SPEAKER_01
I go, all right.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then
6
SPEAKER_01
And then he goes, I guess if you re here, then the show hasn t started.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, OK.
6
SPEAKER_01
So we go through those.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then I get up to go.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I go, all right, here we go.
6
SPEAKER_01
And he goes, hey, we re going to be a while.
6
SPEAKER_01
Can you tell him to keep seven open?
6
SPEAKER_00
I go, me?
6
SPEAKER_01
So I got to go there and lay across seven seats until you come over.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s my job now.
6
SPEAKER_03
Do you remember when we would do the sketch pitch ideas on Monday afternoon at Lauren s office?
6
SPEAKER_03
It was so small.
6
SPEAKER_03
There was like, I don t know, how many of us with Jim and everybody and Al Franken.
6
SPEAKER_03
We could barely fit in there.
6
SPEAKER_03
But Lauren insisted that we do in his office.
6
SPEAKER_03
And his desk took up like half of the office.
6
SPEAKER_03
And we just all sit around cramped in there.
6
SPEAKER_03
And we go around the room and Lauren would point and go,
6
SPEAKER_03
Uh, David, what do you have?
6
SPEAKER_03
Uh, you tell your idea, Dana.
6
SPEAKER_03
And then it would go around and Phil would always be so quiet in those things.
6
SPEAKER_03
And I don t know if, uh, if he, I don t think he pitched an idea much.
6
SPEAKER_03
And then Lauren, I guess he had talked to Lauren privately about his idea or whatever, but he didn t have to pitch cause he was always in everything.
6
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_04
But didn t you guys do fake pitches?
6
SPEAKER_04
Because if you did a really good pitch on Monday, then it was bomb on Wednesday.
6
SPEAKER_01
Jim had to decide which ones were bullshit.
6
SPEAKER_01
When you go, Schneider s like, caveman afraid of caves.
6
SPEAKER_01
Dominique, she d play the caveman.
6
SPEAKER_03
I did the same pitch.
6
SPEAKER_03
I remember pitching to Christopher Walken and maybe Harvey Keitel, too, different shows.
6
SPEAKER_03
I said, my idea is this, Lauren.
6
SPEAKER_03
It s a runaway truck stop.
6
SPEAKER_03
You know, gravel on a steep hill.
6
SPEAKER_03
And there s a bar at the end of it.
6
SPEAKER_03
And I m the bartender.
6
SPEAKER_03
And the walk-in comes in.
6
SPEAKER_03
Everybody comes in rattled, you know?
6
SPEAKER_03
And then, you know, it s just, it writes itself after that.
6
SPEAKER_03
But, you know.
6
SPEAKER_03
I would pitch that, like, you know, all year and every time one of them.
6
SPEAKER_02
I should explain to the audience that the show, we gather, you have to have some kind of opening gun to signify, okay, we have to start doing the show.
6
SPEAKER_02
And that would be like Monday evening at like, they became later and later over the years, but they were supposed to be around like five or six o clock.
6
SPEAKER_02
And like, as Kevin said, everyone crammed in the lawns,
6
SPEAKER_02
capacious, but not for like 30 people size office.
6
SPEAKER_02
And so people would be like sitting in each other s laps, there d be like 12 people on a single couch there.
6
SPEAKER_02
And then I had a chair in the, because I was the head writer, producer, and then the host had a chair and we were sort of,
6
SPEAKER_04
And the underpaid cast sat on the floor.
6
SPEAKER_02
And then they would go around and Laura would go, you know, Al, and then Al Frank would did the same joke for like, which would like, he d go like, you know, ladies and gentlemen, this week, you know, Buck Henry.
6
SPEAKER_02
Next week, Steve Martin.
6
SPEAKER_02
But the most famous thing I remember from any host meeting was he would go through and then he d finally ask the host, like, Steve, did you have anything you want to do?
6
SPEAKER_02
And it was Chris Walken, it was the first time he hosted, and we didn t really know, you know, exactly what he was going to be like.
6
SPEAKER_04
He just sat and stared out the window.
6
SPEAKER_04
He didn t even look at us.
6
SPEAKER_02
But his line, he said those, Chris, did you have anything you wanted to suggest?
6
SPEAKER_02
Apesuits are funny.
6
SPEAKER_02
No.
6
SPEAKER_02
No.
6
SPEAKER_02
No, he said, he said, Apesuits are funny.
6
SPEAKER_02
Bears as well.
6
SPEAKER_04
No.
6
SPEAKER_02
That s what he said.
6
SPEAKER_04
Well, I don t know.
6
SPEAKER_04
The way I remember he said, Bearsuits are funny and bears as well.
6
SPEAKER_04
So for an hour he processed that thought.
6
SPEAKER_03
No, I think it was more like this No, here s what happened with that I think if I remember correctly the Russian circus was playing at Radio City Music Hall across the street and I think I remember that and I said maybe be funny if
6
SPEAKER_03
you know, we did something with that, because they have bears over there and stuff, and maybe some bears says, bat suits are funny.
6
SPEAKER_03
But I could be wrong about that.
6
SPEAKER_00
Did he host?
6
SPEAKER_00
He hosted, right?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he said, bat suits are funny, and maybe a Wayne s World.
6
SPEAKER_05
Actually, that week that he was on, I got a cat from him.
6
SPEAKER_05
We started, he, yes.
6
SPEAKER_03
Catsuits are funny too.
6
SPEAKER_05
No and I went to his apartment up on the Upper West Side.
6
SPEAKER_05
We started talking about cats and he had a cat that had some kittens and I was living with a couple in Brooklyn and they wanted another cat and also were big fans of
7
SPEAKER_00
with Christopher Walken, and then he said, well, you know, I can t do him, but it was like, come over, and I will give you the cat.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, okay.
7
SPEAKER_00
Until then, I went up there, and his wife is the casting director, right?
7
SPEAKER_00
Georgiana Walken.
7
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, she let me in, and then I sat in the living room,
7
SPEAKER_00
waiting.
7
SPEAKER_00
It was like this townhouse.
7
SPEAKER_00
And then he came in and said, you ve come to get the cat.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I said, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
And he goes, I wanted to, I wish I could do him.
7
SPEAKER_00
It sounds just like him.
7
SPEAKER_00
I thought it was him.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m terrible at that.
7
SPEAKER_00
But anyway, he said, this cat is the most, the father of this cat is, he died from fucking
7
SPEAKER_00
And I said, he did?
7
SPEAKER_00
And he said, he got cat AIDS.
7
SPEAKER_00
Because he was such, he loved to fuck.
7
SPEAKER_00
He loved to fuck this cat.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I said, oh, and there s, that was from this cat.
7
SPEAKER_00
And he said, do you want to see a picture of the father?
7
SPEAKER_00
The cat.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I said, yes, and then he laughed and he came back with like an eight by 10 of a cat.
7
SPEAKER_00
And he was like, here s the father of the cat you re getting.
7
SPEAKER_00
This cat couldn t stop fucking.
7
SPEAKER_00
He fucked and fucked.
7
SPEAKER_00
And the cat you re getting is, she was sired by this cat.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
Love it.
7
SPEAKER_05
I like that impression.
7
SPEAKER_03
I wrote a sketch with me and Walken, and it was at the end of the show, as usual.
7
SPEAKER_03
And it had two things going on at the same time.
7
SPEAKER_03
And Lorne came up to me, and he goes, you know, you ve got two different kind of things coming out.
7
SPEAKER_03
I think you need to lose one and have, you know, lose Walken s thing.
7
SPEAKER_03
And you go tell him tomorrow.
7
SPEAKER_03
And Jim and I were thinking.
7
SPEAKER_03
Jim and I were thinking.
7
SPEAKER_03
And so I told him, and he said, I don t know why that would happen and what is the best way.
7
SPEAKER_03
We ll talk about it tomorrow.
7
SPEAKER_03
And I don t see him for like three days.
7
SPEAKER_03
And then he comes up to me.
7
SPEAKER_03
It s like we never stop talking.
7
SPEAKER_03
He goes right into the middle of the conversation again.
7
SPEAKER_03
Because I m not sure if it s the right thing to do.
7
SPEAKER_03
It s like if he went back to his kindergarten, you know, kindergarten reunion.
7
SPEAKER_03
No, I just thought that you were grading on a curve, you know, I didn t know that you were... And he smelled like garlic all the time.
7
SPEAKER_03
Which is good, it s healthy.
7
SPEAKER_03
You know what Phil sketch I like?
7
SPEAKER_03
Not to bring it back to Phil, but... Phil was there.
7
SPEAKER_03
The one where he was dancing with Jan Hooks.
7
SPEAKER_03
So touching.
7
SPEAKER_03
Love is a dream.
7
SPEAKER_01
Oh, love is a dream.
7
SPEAKER_01
Come here.
7
SPEAKER_01
Love is a dream.
7
SPEAKER_01
Who wrote that, Downey?
7
SPEAKER_04
Tom Schiller.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh, Schiller Vision?
7
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, it was a short film.
7
SPEAKER_02
Schiller Vision, while we re screwing around.
7
SPEAKER_02
One of those little Schiller Visions.
7
SPEAKER_02
I have a bad neck, you know.
7
SPEAKER_02
And one of the reasons I figured out is because in one of the things, it wasn t Julia, I don t think.
7
SPEAKER_02
We were at Central Park and we were paying off a joke where they dropped a bomb somewhere.
7
SPEAKER_02
Two older people are walking, wearing old makeup, and then they drop a bomb and it hits me on the head.
7
SPEAKER_02
So it s like way later, years later.
7
SPEAKER_02
And so he s above me with a ladder, and he goes, this is a fake bomb.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s OK, I think it s a real bomb.
7
SPEAKER_02
I didn t think it was a real bomb.
7
SPEAKER_02
I just thought it was something heavy.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I go, and you re dropping it really on my head?
7
SPEAKER_02
And he goes, yeah, it ll be fine.
7
SPEAKER_02
I move so I don t want to say anything.
7
SPEAKER_02
Drops this thing on me, cracks my neck.
7
SPEAKER_02
I m like, oh my God, concussion protocol.
7
SPEAKER_02
Another take, another take, another take.
7
SPEAKER_02
It hurt so bad, it was jamming me like a turtle down.
7
SPEAKER_02
And then I go, is this man out of balsa wood?
7
SPEAKER_02
He s like, no, like steel, iron, and kettle bells glued together.
7
SPEAKER_02
It was so heavy.
7
SPEAKER_02
And there was no thought about it.
7
SPEAKER_02
And then I walked out of there going, I wonder if I ll have neck problems for the rest of my life.
7
SPEAKER_00
When Jan died and they played that at the end of the show, I was such a mess.
7
SPEAKER_03
Way to bring the show down, Julia.
7
SPEAKER_00
No, because two really the greatest, funniest, most wonderful people together.
7
SPEAKER_00
They were so fabulous together.
7
SPEAKER_04
It was the fact that Schiller just decided to cast those two.
7
SPEAKER_04
You know, I mean, it is an amazing thing to look at.
7
SPEAKER_04
It not kind of knocked me for a loop, too.
7
SPEAKER_00
I just feel so sad that we didn t get to know what Phil s career would have been like.
7
SPEAKER_00
I would have really enjoyed would have been busy.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, he was, you know, that one where he gives Farley a hug at the end, I think is when Chris left.
7
SPEAKER_02
It was at the very end of the show.
7
SPEAKER_02
Do you remember that, Jim?
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
It was when Phil s last show.
7
SPEAKER_02
Was it Phil s last show or Chris s?
7
SPEAKER_00
No, it was Chris s, I think.
7
SPEAKER_02
Chris s last show.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, you re right, Julie.
7
SPEAKER_00
Because everyone was talking about Chris leaving, and I was going, I m also leaving.
7
SPEAKER_00
And everyone s like, oh, let s get a close-up of that.
7
SPEAKER_00
You get in there.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s like, I m also leaving.
7
SPEAKER_02
Julie was like, no tears, everyone.
7
SPEAKER_02
We can do this.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I always wonder about the career Phil would have had, too, if he went on.
7
SPEAKER_03
I mean, certainly Tom Cruise wouldn t be where he is right now, that s for sure.
7
SPEAKER_01
Well, you know, it sounds funny, but Phil would have been someone to parachute out of an airplane and hang off things, you know, because of all his hobbies.
7
SPEAKER_03
He could have been a good Walter White from Breaking Bad.
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah, I think he could have.
7
SPEAKER_00
I think he had it in him to really do something.
7
SPEAKER_03
You think I m kidding around with you?
7
SPEAKER_03
No, I m not kidding around with you.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think so.
7
SPEAKER_02
If you re smart, you ll be smart.
7
SPEAKER_02
Jim, you were saying something.
7
SPEAKER_04
No, I was just saying probably, I never know.
7
SPEAKER_04
What strikes me as some hot piece of news, everyone in the audience is like, oh, idiot.
7
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, we ve known that.
7
SPEAKER_04
I mean, I was always told, and by people who claimed it now, that Phil used to do looping for Jack Nicholson.
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah, he did.
7
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, when, because Nicholson apparently got so lazy, he didn t even want to go in and re-record like a simple voiceover, and that Phil would come in and do it.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, actually, that s one of the first things he showed me, is his loopies.
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, no, he really did it, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
For the movie, The Border, I believe, can I tell a short story that is this?
7
SPEAKER_01
So I m at a par three.
7
SPEAKER_01
We do have the clip coming up, so.
7
SPEAKER_01
Oh, do we have a clip?
7
SPEAKER_01
I m at a par three in Studio City with John Lovitz and Phil Hartman.
7
SPEAKER_01
So we wait, and then we wave on the next golfer, and it s Nicholson, and he hits it out of bounds and hits a car.
7
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, so then he s coming up to us, and Phil was very, just a gentleman, and goes, you know, Mr. Nicholson, I just want to say that I actually dubbed your voice for the movie The Border.
7
SPEAKER_01
And Jack Nicholson said, no wonder it was my only stinker.
7
SPEAKER_01
It was a joke and then we couldn t find John because he just got attached to Jack Nicholson.
7
SPEAKER_01
Where s John?
7
SPEAKER_01
We can t see him.
7
SPEAKER_01
He went up his ass.
7
SPEAKER_01
And how do you do it?
7
SPEAKER_01
Is it the method or what are you thinking?
7
SPEAKER_01
I m gonna follow you home.
7
SPEAKER_01
Don t worry, he s one of my best friends.
7
SPEAKER_01
We talked today.
7
SPEAKER_01
He knows how I tease him.
7
SPEAKER_03
All right, any final thoughts?
7
SPEAKER_03
Any final thoughts?
7
SPEAKER_03
I remember one time I did a movie with Sandler called Anger Management.
7
SPEAKER_02
A couple of people remember?
7
SPEAKER_03
Nicholson.
7
SPEAKER_03
Anyway, I played a lawyer and Nicholson was in the scene, it was a courtroom.
7
SPEAKER_03
And I m doing the scene as a lawyer, just throwing a tennis ball at somebody or something.
7
SPEAKER_03
And then Sandler told me that Nicholson came up to him like a year later and he goes, how s that lawyer friend of yours doing?
7
SPEAKER_03
He thought I was a real lawyer.
7
SPEAKER_03
It s called acting, acting.
7
SPEAKER_03
That s how good.
7
SPEAKER_05
Yep.
7
SPEAKER_03
But you re wrapping up the whole Phil thing?
7
SPEAKER_01
To sum up, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
We ve done a lot of Zoom, so it s gonna be a two part, two parter.
7
SPEAKER_01
Two part episode.
7
SPEAKER_01
We ve just shined a light on Phil s greatness.
7
SPEAKER_01
Jim, anything else you re looking at there?
7
SPEAKER_01
We love him and we miss him.
7
SPEAKER_01
I always read your stories.
7
SPEAKER_02
Are you still reading that tiny piece of paper?
7
SPEAKER_04
Well, it s reminding me of things.
7
SPEAKER_04
I mean, I was, his,
7
SPEAKER_04
The best use of Jesus ever on the show.
7
SPEAKER_04
The receptionist.
7
SPEAKER_04
The receptionist, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_04
Like, and this is about?
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, and this is regarding, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_04
And Phil, and by the way, Phil was, apart from a lot of other things, he was very devout Catholic, and to a surprising degree, I remember he, and I m not
8
SPEAKER_02
This isn t a criticism.
8
SPEAKER_02
I m surprised to hear this.
8
SPEAKER_00
I never knew that.
8
SPEAKER_02
He was.
8
SPEAKER_02
Oh, he got very upset when Sinead O Connor ripped up the newspaper.
8
SPEAKER_02
He got upset, especially when he had written.
8
SPEAKER_02
The Pope didn t care.
8
SPEAKER_02
I know him, so go ahead.
8
SPEAKER_02
He was fine with it.
8
SPEAKER_02
But no, I remember Phil kind of shocking us.
8
SPEAKER_02
It was, Al and I had written something for,
8
SPEAKER_02
a debate piece where he s playing David Brinkley.
8
SPEAKER_02
And it wasn t an important thing in the scheme of things, but it was just sort of surprising that, and he had never had objected to anything before, but it was about, remember, I don t know, for those old enough to remember David Brinkley, he used to do editorials as part of the news.
8
SPEAKER_02
And his thing was, he was kind of a sour, kind of seen it all kind of, right?
8
SPEAKER_02
David Brinkley.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, he just sounded weird.
8
SPEAKER_02
But what was entertaining about him was he was so cynical.
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So it was just him commenting.
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It s like Peter Jennings, played by Tom Hanks, turning to
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to David Brinkley for commentary, and it was just like, it ended up in this thing about, you know, life is just, you know, this awful veil of misery and it ends with, we re food for worms, you know?
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And Phil practically refused to do it, not because it wasn t funny, it wasn t particularly funny, actually, as it happens, but it was, it s just that he just found it really,
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upsetting the way it dealt with, you know, the view of life or something.
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And it was religious.
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His objection to it was religious.
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And I never, I mean, you know, it s like when he told me, and maybe you guys know this,
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When I was in college, I was a big fan of a group called Poco, which was formed out of Buffalo Springfield, an offshoot.
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And Phil designed their album covers.
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In an earlier career, he was a graphic designer.
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And I actually totally remembered.
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the cover of the album he described.
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He goes, it s a thing with a cabinet where you re seeing a collection of curious, and I go, yeah, I know it.
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There s like a seashell and a thing, and he goes, yeah, that s the one.
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My wife went to see America a couple weeks ago, and I didn t go.
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I was doing something.
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You were riding a horse with no name?
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Sorry.
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That s all I got.
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That s what I said.
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I said, you know, Phyllis Hartman designed the cover for America, that famous album with the three of them in the front.
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Oh, I didn t know that.
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Well, she s 30 years younger than me, so she didn t know.
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No, she, but it was cool.
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You know, she does things with you that she doesn t want to do particularly.
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It seems to me once in a while.
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That is true.
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That is true.
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No, I had just had surgery, so I couldn t, I couldn t walk actually.
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I just want to say Phil had such an incredible design sense, like his, the way his house looks like, like how things were designed or what the colors were on the wall.
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Like he really,
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He was great with that.
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He had so many sides to him.
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His office was the most tidiest office ever.
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I mean, you walk in there and Dennis Miller s too.
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Maybe I m thinking of Dennis.
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But I remember going to Phil Hartman s house the first time here, and he just had one chair in front of the living room, only had one chair in it, and a TV.
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I was like, so you d never have anyone over?
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Like, it was just one chair.
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But it was beautiful.
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Like, it was so specifically designed just for him.
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Are there any clips of Phil we haven t seen that they have?
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No, I mean, besides that one.
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27 of them.
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I don t think we, I think we showed them all.
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Those are all the sketches he did?
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Unfrozen Caveman is probably the most famous.
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Yeah.
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I mean, so eccentric.
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Jack Handy, for my money, the best writer, writer, writer ever in the show, was, had a special, he had a special connection with Phil and he just, he s the one who created Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer and, and,
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But he also wrote the, he wrote the Charlton Heston, Soylent Green.
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Remember the.
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He had a great Charlton Heston.
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Yeah, that was one of the funnest.
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What was the chef he did?
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Anal retentive.
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That was Bonnie Terry Turner.
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That was so good.
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Those are funny as hell.
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And the Peter Graves thing.
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Phil wrote that.
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That was a piece he actually wrote.
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I wrote the acting teacher.
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that goes, you re here, you re not here.
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What is it?
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This is something, this is nothing.
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This is something, this is nothing.
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I was told it was based on an actual acting teacher.
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It s when he hosted.
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Yeah.
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When he hosted during Chris Kattan, Will Ferrell era.
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So funny.
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How did it go again?
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I just saw it the other day.
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It s not.
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So this was nothing or something.
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This side, this one, something, that s something.
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This is nuts.
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Okay.
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I get it.
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I get it.
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I get it.
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Yeah.
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Makes sense to me.
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You d have to see, but, um, well, we re going to take a short break and we won t be back.
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I remember, this is one last funny bit.
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Whenever I would come into 30 Rock and I d see Phil getting off the elevator, we would talk like we were two advertising executives.
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Every time, it was just like our way of greeting each other.
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Ted, how you doing?
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Ted, I m doing well.
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Hey, Trudy s up in R&D.
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SPEAKER_03
Why don t you go on up there and tell her we need some AR down for this Colgate.
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I ll do that, I ll do that, Walter.
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Otherwise, we ll see you down tomorrow at the Squasset meeting.
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It s just stupid stuff like that.
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And it s got no real ending to this, but it s a good memory.
8
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I remember when Downey would get mad if you go, hand me that Johnson file.
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If you made it too corny in a sketch, you had to make it more specific.
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I like the way we finish big.
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We re finishing big.
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I like that.
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We re finishing big.
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This is called a fizzle ending.
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We have editing capabilities.
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This will be, no one will ever see this part.
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Did Phil, one last question.
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Jesus.
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You recognize me.
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We can t just die in a vine.
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There s a second chip disintegrating.
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No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
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And I don t want to embarrass myself, because maybe he s done this a lot, but how many films did Phil do?
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Houseguest, I remember.
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All right, take it easy.
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He did a lot.
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Houseguest.
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Jingle All The Way.
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So he didn t do a lot of films, right?
8
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Jingle All The Way.
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Huh?
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Jingle All The Way?
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Jingle All The Way.
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He would have worked, and worked, and worked, and worked, and worked.
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He would have been nonstop working.
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Oh yeah, and when live streaming came, he couldn t, I mean, he could have done like 10 shows at once with his range.
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And one last thing, something, nothing.
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No, this is something.
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This is nothing, okay.
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No.
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SPEAKER_04
They should be rolling the credits at this point.
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Okay, well.
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Well, we re gonna read a couple ads for Instacart right now.
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Yeah, we ll do some live ads.
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Manscape is... What was Madonna book on tape?
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That was the third one.
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It took you that long to get... He s looking at a post-it that is two inches... Madonna, what does it say?
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SPEAKER_05
I didn t remember Madonna.
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The staff left 20 minutes ago.
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I mean, I don t think anyone s really back there.
8
SPEAKER_05
Is Madonna on book on tape?
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This turns out to be Chipotle.
8
SPEAKER_00
Sex by Madonna, text by Charlton Heston, age 63.
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I like my vagina.
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SPEAKER_00
Sometimes I stare at it in the mirror when I m undressing and wonder what it would look like without any hair.
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Yeah, I think so.
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All right, you guys.
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Thank you so much.
8
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Thank you very much.
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This has been a podcast presentation of Cadence 13.
8
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Please listen, then rate, review and follow all episodes.
8
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Available now for free wherever you get your podcast.
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No joke, folks.
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Fly on the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13, executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corcoran of Cadence 13 and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment.
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The show s lead producer is Greg Holtzman with production and engineering support from Serena
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Regan and Chris Basil of Cadence 13.