0
SPEAKER_01
Call from Violet July.
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SPEAKER_02
Hello?
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SPEAKER_02
Hello?
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SPEAKER_02
Hey, what s up?
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SPEAKER_01
Is this the gecko?
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, who is this?
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SPEAKER_01
No way, I m Violet July.
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SPEAKER_02
Violet July.
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SPEAKER_02
Ooh, that s um... Do you know who the insane clown posse are?
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SPEAKER_01
I-I know of them, yes.
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SPEAKER_02
The head guy, his name is Violent J. Which is not Viol- Vi- His name is Violent J. And yours is Violet July.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I didn t even put those two and two together, but that s cool.
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SPEAKER_02
What s up, Violet July?
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SPEAKER_02
Do you go by Violet July, or just, do you ever go by Violet?
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SPEAKER_01
I go by Violet.
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SPEAKER_01
Um... It s a recent thing.
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SPEAKER_01
I started going by my musician name, but I m not really here to talk about my music, I guess.
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SPEAKER_02
So you picked the name Violet?
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SPEAKER_01
I did.
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SPEAKER_01
I picked it myself.
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SPEAKER_02
Was it inspired at all by the daughter from The Incredibles?
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SPEAKER_01
No, it was more like Violet Baudelaire from A Series of Unfortunate Events.
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SPEAKER_02
Oh.
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SPEAKER_02
There s Violet- Violet Baudelaire, is that her name?
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_02
I thought you were saying Violet Beauregard, who is the name of the- Violet Beauregard.
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SPEAKER_02
Of the girl who- I think- I think that s the girl who turns into a giant blueberry in the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movie.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, that was, uh, Violet... Yeah, Violet Beauregard.
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SPEAKER_02
Wow, those two things, they sound similar.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, well enough about fictional characters.
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SPEAKER_02
What s going on with you violet?
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SPEAKER_01
So actually I m in a debate on whether or not I should be a stripper again Okay So I was a stripper for four years.
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SPEAKER_01
I m 25.
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SPEAKER_01
I started when I was 19.
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SPEAKER_01
I stopped when I was 23 um But I m also in recovery.
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SPEAKER_01
I m a cocaine addict
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SPEAKER_01
Um, I did the cocaine mostly when I was working music festivals, not stripping, but still cocaine is a strip club.
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SPEAKER_01
And, um, I work a retail job now and I, it s not paying enough for my sober living.
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SPEAKER_01
And I m debating on whether or not I should dance two days a week.
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SPEAKER_01
on a day shift somewhere because I m on a proper sleep schedule now.
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SPEAKER_01
Um, my only issue is, is that I m worried if someone offers me cocaine, I will do it and I will ruin my life again.
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SPEAKER_01
And I ve relapsed four times.
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SPEAKER_01
I ve been to rehab four times and I m doing really well now.
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SPEAKER_01
Like I m happy for once in my life.
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SPEAKER_01
Like I m actually enjoying living, which is crazy.
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SPEAKER_01
I never thought that I would enjoy living.
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SPEAKER_01
Um,
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SPEAKER_01
but I really need the money and I ve also been feeling like kind of sexually charged recently like I felt like it would be a good way to express myself and Feel sexy again, I guess because it s been a while and I Don t know there comes a lot of stigma that comes with those so I don t and that s never bothered me, but now I m I
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SPEAKER_01
kind of at a point in my life where I d like to find somebody and not a lot of people are okay with dating sex workers.
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SPEAKER_01
Um, so that s where I m at.
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SPEAKER_02
I have a bunch of questions.
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SPEAKER_02
Um, first of all, congrats on, on getting sober.
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SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
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SPEAKER_02
Now you have to, so you have to pay to be, how does that work?
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SPEAKER_02
You have to pay to be in a sober living house.
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SPEAKER_02
What s that whole situation?
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
So I pay, um,
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SPEAKER_01
To live in a sober living, it s like rent, like monthly, but they cover like electricity and Wi-Fi and they get toilet paper for you.
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SPEAKER_01
So, um, I mean, yeah, it s like, um, like a once a month charge for all, like all bills paid.
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SPEAKER_02
And did you like go to rehab and then this is sort of like you re getting out of rehab and transitioning via this?
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, this is post-rehab.
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SPEAKER_02
And is the sober living significantly more expensive than if you were to just live in a normal place?
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SPEAKER_01
It s actually a lot cheaper.
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SPEAKER_02
Really?
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_02
That s fascinating.
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SPEAKER_02
I mean, how long can you stay there for?
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SPEAKER_01
As long as I want.
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SPEAKER_01
As long as I m paying rent.
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SPEAKER_02
Well, shit.
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SPEAKER_02
Alright, that s a great, that s a fantastic situation.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it really is.
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SPEAKER_02
Is it like a dorm room kind of shit where you re like hanging out with other people in recovery and there s like meetings all the time and stuff?
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, we have two house meetings a week.
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SPEAKER_01
I think there s enough space here for 12 girls, but I think we only have six, so we each have our own rooms right now.
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SPEAKER_02
Hmm.
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SPEAKER_02
Very, very, are you meeting a lot of friends?
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SPEAKER_01
I am.
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SPEAKER_01
The thing about recovery is that I really like is the community is really awesome.
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SPEAKER_01
Like I love going to meetings.
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SPEAKER_01
I love going to like my IOP, which stands for intensive outpatient, which is basically just group therapy.
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SPEAKER_01
I really love it.
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SPEAKER_01
Also, if I m talking weird, it s because I just got my tongue pierced, and I m still trying to figure out how to speak with it.
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SPEAKER_02
I didn t hear that, but did you get one of those tongue piercings where the tongue is fucking split in half, like Patrick s arms?
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SPEAKER_01
That would be cool, but no, I just got a little piercing in the middle there.
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SPEAKER_02
Is anyone else that you ve met in this recovery center, is anyone else a former or current stripper?
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SPEAKER_01
No.
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SPEAKER_02
Hmm.
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SPEAKER_02
So, all right.
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SPEAKER_02
So tell me about the stripping.
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SPEAKER_02
You did it from when you were 19 to how old?
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23.
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SPEAKER_02
Okay.
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SPEAKER_02
And at the time you were doing it, what made you stop?
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SPEAKER_01
I got really burnt out.
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SPEAKER_01
Um, and I switched to cam girling.
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SPEAKER_01
I was a cam girl for a while.
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SPEAKER_01
Um, and I really liked that.
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SPEAKER_01
But I can t do that right now because I live in sober living.
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SPEAKER_01
I would just do that but they won t really allow that in sober living because moaning through the walls isn t really when there s six girls here.
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SPEAKER_01
When I did it, I lived with people who understood but
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SPEAKER_01
I switched to cam grilling and then I went to rehab.
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SPEAKER_01
I got really burnt out.
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SPEAKER_01
My back hurt.
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SPEAKER_01
I was just, I did it for four years.
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SPEAKER_01
So, and it was never anything that I was passionate about.
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SPEAKER_01
Like what I m really passionate about, like I love working merch at festivals and concerts.
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SPEAKER_01
I love doing that.
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SPEAKER_01
And then music, I love making music and performing.
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SPEAKER_01
Absolutely love it.
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SPEAKER_01
I released my first song in January.
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SPEAKER_01
And I m hoping I can make a living doing that one day.
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SPEAKER_01
But in the meantime, I need something to get by.
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SPEAKER_01
And starting a music project is really expensive.
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SPEAKER_01
I m just a vocalist and lyricist.
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SPEAKER_01
I have to have people mix my stuff.
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SPEAKER_01
I have a producer that I have to pay.
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SPEAKER_01
Marketing costs money.
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SPEAKER_01
And I m barely affording to live as it is.
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SPEAKER_01
to get somewhere I have to, like, invest in myself.
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SPEAKER_01
So that s why I think going back to the club might be a good idea because, I mean, I could pay for my project and I could pay for my sober living and I have another job on top of that.
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SPEAKER_01
So, um, yeah.
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SPEAKER_02
What s your, what s your, what s your other job?
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SPEAKER_02
Oh, right.
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SPEAKER_01
You said retail.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
Retail.
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SPEAKER_02
Hmm.
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SPEAKER_02
You see, it s interesting, it s fascinating to hear you say that you were a cam girl, because when you first said, like, that the main fear was that you would, uh, get offered cocaine, I was like, well, you could just do the, you know, whatever the digital version of being a stripper is, which, by the way, I, you know, I ve always found that kind of, I find it fascinating that strip clubs even still really exist, because I would assume
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SPEAKER_02
And I don t know the universe of the financials of being a stripper versus being a cam girl, but I would assume...
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SPEAKER_00
the benefits of doing some kind of camming career is better than being a stripper in person?
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I mean, stripping is more money, but I really liked camming.
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SPEAKER_01
I felt like I could just be myself on camera and it was a really fun experience.
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SPEAKER_01
I liked it a lot.
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SPEAKER_00
So how much of the decision of whether or not you want to go back to stripping is monetary?
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SPEAKER_00
Because you mentioned that it s money, but you also mentioned that you enjoy it in some degree, that allows you some degree of expression.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I m an extrovert.
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SPEAKER_01
I love talking to people, of getting to know people.
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SPEAKER_01
And like, how do I say this without like,
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SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
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SPEAKER_01
I ve been very sexually charged recently because then it s like you took away my drugs and now my brain wants something else.
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SPEAKER_00
Sure.
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SPEAKER_01
And I ve been feeling very flirty and I ve kind of been acting out a little bit.
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SPEAKER_01
Like I ve been making out with people in my group therapy and I shouldn t be doing that.
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SPEAKER_01
Like that s, I just don t.
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SPEAKER_01
And I mean, I ve gotten on Tinder and met people and whatnot, but it s a matter of like my,
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SPEAKER_01
I guess my aura right now is very flirty.
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SPEAKER_01
And if I could just express that and be that way and get paid for it, that would be really cool because I feel like I ve been a little inappropriate lately.
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SPEAKER_01
It s just, I guess the vibe I m giving out because I m so sexually frustrated and I don t
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SPEAKER_01
I don t want, like, I just need friends with benefits.
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SPEAKER_01
And I m on the hunt for one, but it s like, I don t want all this... I just, I don t, I don t want to be screwing around with people that I m in recovery with, you know, and...
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SPEAKER_01
It s very hard for me not to do that right now.
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SPEAKER_00
I have to imagine, I know there s like sex addict stuff where you like, it s, I mean that must be a crazy can of worms, but I have to imagine that that must be... It s called sloth.
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SPEAKER_00
That has to be... I have to imagine that in recovery communities in general, there s a lot of people flocking.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, there s um...
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SPEAKER_01
It s called F.L.A.W., Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, and I am in it.
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SPEAKER_00
Uh, are you fucking around with people in that group specifically?
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SPEAKER_01
No, that s like highly discouraged, like at the beginning of... I don t know how much I m allowed to say because it s anonymous, but it s very... That s highly discouraged.
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SPEAKER_00
Um...
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SPEAKER_00
I assume with the anonymous groups, you can talk about them as long as you re not talking about a specific person.
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SPEAKER_00
You re like, yeah, you know.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
Well, at the beginning of each meeting, they say like, this is not a hookup group.
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SPEAKER_01
Like if anyone approaches you in an inappropriate manner and like we all understand, like we re all kind of in the same boat.
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SPEAKER_01
so we don t want to like trigger each other.
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SPEAKER_01
Now with like group therapy and like IOP and stuff like that, it s a little harder because not everyone s a sex addict and it s not, I don t know, it is frowned upon to like get a rehab romance or whatever you call it, but it s like, there s that, that line of respect isn t going both ways.
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SPEAKER_01
Like, someone might flirt with me and it s very hard for me not to flirt with them back.
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SPEAKER_01
Or I might flirt with someone and it s hard to, but like in the, in the flaw program, it s a very like, we re so there to try to get better that we don t want to like fuck up anyone else s recovery.
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SPEAKER_01
And I wouldn t want to fuck up anyone else s like recovery and IOP either.
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SPEAKER_00
It s just- How is, how is the Tinder going?
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SPEAKER_01
I had a really good Tinder date.
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SPEAKER_01
Um, yesterday.
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SPEAKER_01
But I m afraid I would catch feelings for him, and I m not really in a place that I m available to catch feelings for people.
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SPEAKER_00
Um... And, uh... Yeah, so... So you just, so you... You just want to have no-strings-attached sex with people.
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SPEAKER_01
I just want like one Friends with Benefits that I can hit up a few times a week.
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SPEAKER_01
I feel like that would be enough for me.
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SPEAKER_00
I feel like on Tinder, you won t have an issue finding that.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, um, there s a guy that he is the guy that gives me my coffee and water when I m at work.
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SPEAKER_01
We ve been hanging out and we talked about a Friends with Benefits situation.
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SPEAKER_01
It just hasn t like happened yet.
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SPEAKER_01
And I think he would be good because I m not, I don t have any romantic feelings for him.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t see myself catching any.
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SPEAKER_01
And he s really pretty, but the guy from Tinder is actually really cool.
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SPEAKER_01
And then I kind of started having a friends with benefits thing with a girl.
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SPEAKER_01
Um, but she s in my IOP and we fucked once and it was really cool.
1
SPEAKER_01
But then I was like, I was gonna, I was gonna ask.
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SPEAKER_00
I know that the, I have to assume that the, the slaw groups are separated by gender, but if you re, if you re, uh, uh, into all the genders, you re fucked.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
Um, that s true.
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SPEAKER_00
But I guess back to the original issue of like should you become a stripper or not?
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SPEAKER_00
I mean look dude.
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SPEAKER_00
What about what about um?
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SPEAKER_00
Only fans I said only fans just now as if I don t know what only like that s how that s how somebody who doesn t really know what only fans is would say it only fans, but I don t like only fans making content to me is just I
1
SPEAKER_01
I ve done it, but like, I m actually not that photogenic.
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SPEAKER_01
I look way better in real life than I do in photos.
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SPEAKER_01
And it s like, OnlyFans is like, you gotta like, be consistent with it.
1
SPEAKER_01
You have to constantly market yourself.
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SPEAKER_01
With camming and stripping, you kind of just do it and you gain a base.
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SPEAKER_01
With OnlyFans, you have to gain a base and then do it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Right, sure.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s a whole, it s a lot more upstart.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and I ve done OnlyFans.
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SPEAKER_01
I did it for a week, made a lot of money, deleted it, and it s not my thing.
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SPEAKER_01
Making content, I like making content, just not sexual content.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t know, I m a creative.
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SPEAKER_01
I have a lot of ideas for videos.
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SPEAKER_01
I write poetry, I write short stories, I write plays, I m a writer.
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SPEAKER_01
I like editing videos.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t- I don t like making sexual content.
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SPEAKER_01
I like just being myself and talking and having my aura and then doing that.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like, photos and videos are just kind of whatever.
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SPEAKER_00
So how long have you been, uh, so, the... Did you go to, like, a sex and love rehab at the same time as the cocaine rehab?
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SPEAKER_01
No, I don t think that exists, actually.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it might, but I haven t been the one.
1
SPEAKER_00
Wait, how long have you been in the slaw for?
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SPEAKER_01
Like six months.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay, how long you been in the cocaine stuff for?
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SPEAKER_01
The first time I went to rehab was a year ago.
1
SPEAKER_00
How is the retail job going?
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SPEAKER_00
Where is that at?
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SPEAKER_01
I don t like it.
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SPEAKER_01
I m just not passionate about it.
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SPEAKER_01
It s a lingerie store.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m just, it s really hard for me to find jobs I m passionate about.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m not passionate about sex work, but at least I like it.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I don t dislike this retail job.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m just, it s boring.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I mean, I guess people have to work boring jobs.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m not trying to complain about it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m grateful to have this job.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s just, I, I,
1
SPEAKER_01
If I have to have a career, I just want to do something I m passionate about.
1
SPEAKER_01
All I want to do is write songs and poetry and I ve written books and I just, I want to do music first so I have people that will read my stuff and I just, I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_01
The job is cool.
1
SPEAKER_01
I like the girls that work there.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s just, I m not passionate about it and it doesn t pay a whole ton.
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, well, I, you know, I think it s good.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think it s good that you have a lot of things you want to do.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know, the way you re talking about them, they re like, it s almost, and I do this too.
1
SPEAKER_00
I do this too.
1
SPEAKER_00
What I m about to say that you re doing, I do this too.
1
SPEAKER_00
And that s why I m telling you.
2
SPEAKER_03
That I m seeing you do it is like all these passions that you are talking about like You know whatever making music or writing things like they re almost like weights the way you re talking about them You know, but I think they re good
2
SPEAKER_03
to have all these things that you want to do.
2
SPEAKER_03
And then weirdly, like, weirdly, these things, they come with, like, attachments of, like, I need to make money doing this or be successful doing this.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I think that a big part of, like, trying to be happy with them is removing those kind of unnecessary attachments.
2
SPEAKER_03
And again, I completely and utterly do that myself.
2
SPEAKER_03
That s the only reason I m talking about it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
I really appreciate you, Gecko.
2
SPEAKER_01
I watch your stream a lot, and I m always like, I wonder if I ll get to talk to him one day.
2
SPEAKER_01
I ll get to talk to you.
2
SPEAKER_03
What does the future look like for you, Violet?
2
SPEAKER_03
I m gonna just call you Violet July.
2
SPEAKER_03
Violet July.
2
SPEAKER_01
Violet July.
2
SPEAKER_01
What s the future look like, Violet July?
2
SPEAKER_01
Who is Violet July?
2
SPEAKER_01
More poetry, more music, more connection, more love, more kindness.
2
SPEAKER_01
more enlightenment.
2
SPEAKER_03
And less cocaine.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_01
And less cocaine.
2
SPEAKER_03
Well, I wish I could have I it s been it s been great talking to you.
2
SPEAKER_03
I wish I could have been of some form of help in you making your decision.
2
SPEAKER_01
Great.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was great to just be able to vent about it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
2
SPEAKER_03
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_03
I guess you could there s a way you could You could combine all these things you could be you could be the stripping poet You you take off one piece of clothing for every Every bar, what do you guys are they is that just rap or is that in poetry to the bars?
2
SPEAKER_03
Okay every stanza you take off one piece of clothing I
2
SPEAKER_01
Do you, um, do you wanna hear a poem?
2
SPEAKER_03
Sure.
2
SPEAKER_03
Let s close out with a poem.
2
SPEAKER_01
Cool.
2
SPEAKER_01
Um, I have like 8,000 poems in my phone notes.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m just gonna, where is it?
2
SPEAKER_01
Let s go with, okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
The Antichrist will entice the gentleman.
2
SPEAKER_01
The medicine he needs to kill the weeds of the demiurge must be purged from his computer.
2
SPEAKER_01
For the consumer is innocent, and the gentleman is ignorant of the color sent from the other side of reality.
2
SPEAKER_01
For our immortality desires to go backwards.
2
SPEAKER_01
I heard the gentleman s curls can lurl the girls into the catastrophe that may be esoteric truth.
2
SPEAKER_01
But his geometric youth sings the songs of wires that tire of intertwining the sighing masses.
2
SPEAKER_01
So when his soul passes, will he choose to continue down the rabbit hole of hell, or will his shell grow roots?
2
SPEAKER_03
That sounds like something Hermione would say to like turn a demon into a bunny or something.
2
SPEAKER_03
It was a good poem.
2
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
2
SPEAKER_03
What s your name again?
2
SPEAKER_03
Violet Violet Violet July Violet July Violet July Violet July.
2
SPEAKER_03
Is there anything else you want to say to the people the computer before we go?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I have a song coming out on January 1st At who is Violet July if you feel like following I Promise I didn t come here for music promo Thank you so much.
2
SPEAKER_01
I appreciate everybody like
2
SPEAKER_00
You guys are great.
2
SPEAKER_03
Also, check out Violent... I don t know what his Instagram handle is, but check out, uh... ViolentJ.
2
SPEAKER_03
Just go to YouTube and type in ViolentJMiracles and watch that video too, and watch Violet s stuff and also that.
2
SPEAKER_00
Thank you so much.
2
SPEAKER_03
Have a good night, Violet.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you too.
2
SPEAKER_00
Bye-bye.
2
SPEAKER_00
Hello?
2
SPEAKER_03
What s your name?
2
SPEAKER_02
Lauren.
2
SPEAKER_03
Lauren.
2
SPEAKER_03
What s going on with you, Lauren?
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, you know, just not really on house arrest, but I have a scram monitor on my ankle.
2
SPEAKER_03
A scram monitor?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
So it detects alcohol in your sweat.
2
SPEAKER_03
And is this because you are legally not allowed to be consuming alcohol?
2
SPEAKER_02
I m 24, but correct.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_03
Why are you not legally allowed to consume alcohol?
2
SPEAKER_02
Um, so I, um, I rolled a stop sign, um, and I had alcohol in my system and I got pulled over and yeah, long story short, I got an ankle monitor.
2
SPEAKER_03
Was that, uh, were you above the legal limit?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
So I m not in Utah and Utah s legal limits, 0.05.
2
SPEAKER_02
which I mean, still not great.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t condone it, but how much did you have to drink that night?
2
SPEAKER_02
Um, I really only probably had four glasses of wine throughout a period of a couple hours.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I could like, I remember the whole like pulling over the arrest, everything.
2
SPEAKER_02
Um, so after like that whole,
2
SPEAKER_02
situation.
2
SPEAKER_02
Before I got the angle monitor, I want to test a theory to see how my body processed alcohol.
2
SPEAKER_02
So I had a wine night with my friend.
2
SPEAKER_02
And we got a breathalyzer.
2
SPEAKER_02
And for one glass of wine, mine was like double what everybody else would blow.
2
SPEAKER_02
My body just doesn t process alcohol well.
2
SPEAKER_03
I will say soberly, I have rolled almost every stop sign I ve ever encountered throughout my entire life.
2
SPEAKER_02
Exactly.
2
SPEAKER_02
I grew up in California.
2
SPEAKER_02
We roll stop signs.
2
SPEAKER_03
I think everyone rolls.
2
SPEAKER_03
When s the last time anybody, whoever s listening to this, I want you to think about the last time you completely stopped.
2
SPEAKER_03
Like, like I m talking complete stop.
2
SPEAKER_03
Your car rolls, like rolls back kind of a stop at a stop sign where there s nobody else at like, you know,
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I mean, I m rolling stops all the time.
2
SPEAKER_02
All the time.
2
SPEAKER_03
How long do you have to wear the thing for?
2
SPEAKER_02
120 days.
2
SPEAKER_02
So I got it October 11th and I will get it off February 8th, I believe.
2
SPEAKER_02
So I am just over a month today.
2
SPEAKER_03
And, um,
2
SPEAKER_03
I just the like part of your ankle that the brace covers get really gross because you can t wash it on.
2
SPEAKER_02
No, I can shower with it thankfully.
2
SPEAKER_02
And you have to wear it submerged in water.
2
SPEAKER_03
You can t submerge it in water.
2
SPEAKER_02
No, so it you can t submerge it.
2
SPEAKER_02
But you can take a shower because it s or you can take a shower but you can t take a bath.
2
SPEAKER_03
What happens if you take it off to explode?
2
SPEAKER_02
I can t take it off.
2
SPEAKER_02
I have to go to the jail and they use a special little tool and then it sends all these alerts to the police station that the monitor has been unlocked.
2
SPEAKER_03
Are you allowed to drive?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, so I m allowed to drive.
2
SPEAKER_02
I do have a breathalyzer in my car, so I am double sober with an ankle monitor and a breathalyzer in my car.
2
SPEAKER_03
Is this your first offense?
2
SPEAKER_03
I feel like this sounds like second defense kind of a thing.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s my first offense.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s just Utah.
2
SPEAKER_02
I also had a wax pen in my car, which I don t, I don t smoke weed.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t even do drugs, but it was an ex boyfriend and wax is a felony out here.
2
SPEAKER_02
Um, so also getting the monitor kind of dropped the felony charges.
2
SPEAKER_02
So I was like, you know what?
2
SPEAKER_02
I ll take an ankle monitor before I take a felony.
2
SPEAKER_03
Well, shit.
2
SPEAKER_03
Um,
2
SPEAKER_03
That s very yeah, Utah is very like Mormon II holy.
2
SPEAKER_02
We don t do that stuff around here kind of a place which is crazy because growing up in California I Never really like partied and being out in Utah.
2
SPEAKER_02
I ve never party harder Tell me about the Utah party scene it s weird it s like I
2
SPEAKER_02
I think because the state is so strict that everybody just feels the need to constantly be under the influence of something.
2
SPEAKER_03
Are you born and raised there?
2
SPEAKER_03
You just said you were born in California.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, so I was born in California, I grew up there, and then I lived in Tahoe for a little bit, and then I moved to Utah two years ago.
2
SPEAKER_03
What d you move here for?
3
SPEAKER_01
Uh, just a snowboard.
3
SPEAKER_00
Cool.
3
SPEAKER_00
Really?
3
SPEAKER_00
Just a snowboard?
3
SPEAKER_00
Did you know anyone when you moved?
3
SPEAKER_01
Nope.
3
SPEAKER_01
Didn t know a soul.
3
SPEAKER_00
How long ago did you move?
3
SPEAKER_01
Uh, two years ago.
3
SPEAKER_00
And how s it going?
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, it was going good up until this and now I m probably going to go back to California.
3
SPEAKER_00
What are you going to do in California?
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
I kind of want to move to Southern California.
3
SPEAKER_01
I grew up in Northern, so I feel like Southern
3
SPEAKER_01
be kind of a nice change.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, and I m kind of an adventurous person.
3
SPEAKER_01
I feel like Southern California kind of has a little bit more to offer for me.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, I do spontaneous things a lot.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, and also since I ve had this ankle monitor, I was kind of nervous, but my probation officer let me go to Vegas for SEMA, which is the car show.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um,
3
SPEAKER_01
which I was really surprised he let me go to Vegas, but he did.
3
SPEAKER_01
And, uh, I convinced the guy sitting next to me on the plane, complete stranger, um, to take me to the Hoover Dam.
3
SPEAKER_00
You convinced the guy on the plane with you from Utah to Vegas to take you to the Hoover Dam?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
I had never been, um, and I really wanted to go.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so he like drove you there?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
At first, he was really hesitant.
3
SPEAKER_01
He was like, no.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then we weren t really.
3
SPEAKER_01
No one said anything on the plane because I had to.
3
SPEAKER_01
I awkwardly sat in the middle seat.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was the last seat available on the plane.
3
SPEAKER_01
And of course, I had to sit there.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so I m sitting between these two dudes and we re just like talking about the Hoover Dam.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was like, yeah, I ve never been.
3
SPEAKER_01
So if you guys want to take me, that d be cool.
3
SPEAKER_01
And they were like, kind of for it, but they were a little hesitant.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then the one guy was like, well, maybe.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, okay, well, if you do take me just a little disclosure, like I m on probation, I have an ankle monitor.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was like, do you want to see it?
3
SPEAKER_01
And then the other guy was like, you know what?
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t want to go.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then the other guy was like, you know what?
3
SPEAKER_01
I ll take you.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I let a stranger take me to the Hoover dam.
3
SPEAKER_00
Was this like a date?
3
SPEAKER_01
No, no.
3
SPEAKER_01
I just wanted to go and he had time to kill.
3
SPEAKER_01
So.
3
SPEAKER_00
It says here you also, uh, you also messaged me to say that, uh, you had a stranger take you to Mexico.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
So last summer, I think it was last summer.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, I went to visit my cousin who goes to San Diego state and I thought he would let me go to class with him.
3
SPEAKER_01
He was super opposed to that and said, no, find something else to do during the day.
3
SPEAKER_01
So with any,
3
SPEAKER_01
solo board traveler would do.
3
SPEAKER_01
I took the train and I wanted to go to Tijuana for a couple hours.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so on the train, I kept like, I guess I was looking around super like suspiciously and this guy behind me handed me his phone and was like, you look lost.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, no, like I know where I m going.
3
SPEAKER_01
And he was like, okay, just making sure, are you by yourself?
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, at the moment, yes, but I won t be.
3
SPEAKER_01
Cause I was like, I don t know what his intentions are.
3
SPEAKER_01
But also I was like, okay, he s typing on his phone.
3
SPEAKER_01
So clearly he s not like making it known to everybody else on the train.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, and so we typed on his phone for probably like 30 minutes.
3
SPEAKER_01
Cause it was a two hour train ride.
3
SPEAKER_01
And finally he goes, you want to just take an Uber?
3
SPEAKER_01
It ll be 10 minutes.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, sure.
3
SPEAKER_01
So we get off this train and we re standing like on the side of the road, um, by a military base going to Tijuana.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then we get in the Uber and then I was like, you know what?
3
SPEAKER_01
I could get kidnapped right now.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, this man hasn t said a word to me.
3
SPEAKER_01
Everything s been over text.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so, I kind of panic and I start pulling little hairs out of my hair.
3
SPEAKER_01
leaving him in the car and just like putting my fingerprints on stuff.
3
SPEAKER_00
Wait a minute, I m sorry, so you ve been, so you, you, this guy next to you, you, you don t speak a word with him, but you just hand your phone back and forth with each other?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, so he handed me his phone and he was like, are you lost?
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, do you know where you re going?
3
SPEAKER_00
He had typed that like what, on his notes app or something?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so you guys aren t so you guys are so you guys are sitting next to each other.
3
SPEAKER_00
But instead of talking, you are handing this his phone back and forth.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
So he was actually like a row behind me.
3
SPEAKER_01
So you could like see me like kind of like looking at the train map and like looking at my phone, I like all the stops.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so you get off of this train with this guy who you have not spoken a word to, but you re just texting back and forth with his phone.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and he showed me that he had ordered an Uber.
3
SPEAKER_01
I know it sounds super dumb when I say it out loud, but I was like, okay, he ordered an Uber.
3
SPEAKER_01
Ubers are secure.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, I felt kind of safe.
3
SPEAKER_01
I didn t really question it.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then, um, he was like, okay, like follow me through the, like the
3
SPEAKER_01
like the, I don t know what it s called at the border, but there s like visitors and then people who have like citizenship.
3
SPEAKER_01
And he was like, just walk through.
3
SPEAKER_01
He was like, don t stand too close to me, but just like kind of follow.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so then I get pulled aside and then they re like, where s your passport?
3
SPEAKER_01
Blah, blah, blah.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I didn t have it.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, I m just coming in for like a couple hours and then leaving.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so they made me buy a day visa, which is only like
3
SPEAKER_01
15 bucks, and I was like, sure.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, I ll pay $15.
3
SPEAKER_00
You can get into Mexico without a passport by just giving them $15?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_01
Kind of crazy.
3
SPEAKER_00
That is kind of crazy, isn t it?
3
SPEAKER_01
So this guy still has not said a word to me at all.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I figured, okay, well, maybe there s just like a language barrier.
3
SPEAKER_00
Wait, why haven t you... Why haven t you... I don t understand.
3
SPEAKER_00
You got off the train with this guy.
3
SPEAKER_00
Why haven t you... Why are you not talking to him?
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, so I would say things like to him, but he would always type back.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I figured like, maybe English isn t his first language.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so like, maybe the barrier, but he could type really good English.
3
SPEAKER_01
But maybe he just wasn t comfortable speaking it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
Was he Mexican?
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, so yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, and so once we crossed the border,
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, he s like, oh, my cousin can give you a ride wherever you want it to go.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because I told him I just wanted to go to the beach, get a taco, a margarita.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, and he was like, my cousin can take you.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then I was like, you know what, that s where I got to draw the line.
3
SPEAKER_01
Cause then it s like, okay, it s not an Uber.
3
SPEAKER_01
Nothing s getting tracked.
3
SPEAKER_01
So we crossed the border and we re standing in front of, I don t know if it s Oxos or OXXOs, but I call them Oxos.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s like,
3
SPEAKER_01
the 7 11 of Mexico.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
And this like SUV pulls up behind him because he s facing me.
3
SPEAKER_01
So he has his back to the road.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then the guy like honks his horn and the guy doesn t flinch.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, Hmm.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then he turns around and then they see each other and then they start signing to each other and like sign language.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I was like, Oh, he s either deaf or mute.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was like, you know what?
3
SPEAKER_01
That makes sense why he has not said a word to me.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I guess I let a deaf or mute man take me across the border.
3
SPEAKER_00
Did you, how did you end this interaction with this man?
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, I told him I appreciated his Uber and, uh, I wished him well and that I was going to take a taxi.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, that s probably good to not get in like a random guy s cousin s car in Tijuana.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, and so,
3
SPEAKER_01
Every time I tell people this story, my main priority was obviously not to get kidnapped, but I like to make light of the situation.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I had my cousin s house key, which is the only house key to the house at the time.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so my goal was don t get kidnapped because I had the key to the house and my cousin would not have been happy.
3
SPEAKER_00
I like that you I like that your relationship with your cousin is such that if you got kidnapped in Mexico, their first thought would be, oh, no, she has the keys to my house.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he probably, he probably wouldn t have been too happy with that one.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I didn t tell him I was going to Mexico either, but he just thought I was roaming around near the campus.
3
SPEAKER_00
So, I mean, are you constantly getting into these crazy adventures?
3
SPEAKER_01
I want to say no, but if you were to ask my friend, they would probably say a hundred percent.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, they re not always that extreme, but they re definitely kind of out there.
3
SPEAKER_00
What s your name again, by the way?
3
SPEAKER_00
Lauren.
3
SPEAKER_00
What s your whole prerogative, Lauren?
3
SPEAKER_00
What are you doing?
3
SPEAKER_00
What s your deal?
3
SPEAKER_01
I have no idea.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m 24.
3
SPEAKER_01
I feel like I ve done so much in such a short time.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t really have family.
4
SPEAKER_00
problems it s not like it s me like lashing out and stuff like that I just I don t know maybe it s like I didn t have enough um like not control but my parents telling me like hey don t do that type of thing growing up so it s like rolled the oyster I m gonna keep going like I do understand consequences obviously I have an ankle monitor but
4
SPEAKER_01
What s next for you?
4
SPEAKER_01
What do you, what do you want to be next?
4
SPEAKER_00
Um, that s a good question.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m having the ankle monitor.
4
SPEAKER_00
I have had my highs of highs and the lowest of lows.
4
SPEAKER_00
Um, so I ve had a lot of time for self-reflection.
4
SPEAKER_00
Um, definitely once I get this off, I probably will just stay sober.
4
SPEAKER_00
Um,
4
SPEAKER_00
But I don t know, I kind of wanted to get, there was like a small timeframe where I thought about getting into like being a probation officer, because I was like, you know what, I kind of like this.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like, I check in with my probation officer every day.
4
SPEAKER_00
I went into the jail and like talked to the other probation officer for three hours just about life.
4
SPEAKER_01
Are you going to move... So you re planning on moving to L.A.?
4
SPEAKER_01
Or I guess Southern... No, not L.A.
4
SPEAKER_00
Probably, like, San Diego, Tennacula.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
And you want to try to become a probation officer?
4
SPEAKER_00
Maybe.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it was just like an idea that crossed my mind.
4
SPEAKER_00
Because I also used to work for... Have you ever heard of Supercross?
4
SPEAKER_01
No.
4
SPEAKER_01
Wait.
4
SPEAKER_01
Is that a bike thing?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
So in the summer they have Pro Moto, which is like their outdoor circuit.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I used to work for that.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I lived in a van.
4
SPEAKER_00
I got paid to live in my boss s van and drive cross country with the mountain bikes for Specialized.
4
SPEAKER_00
And so I really enjoyed that.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I met a lot of people in the industry and it s given me a lot of connections that
4
SPEAKER_00
I think it d be super cool to get back into not necessarily like writing cause I don t race, but something in the sports industry.
4
SPEAKER_01
That can be cool.
4
SPEAKER_01
I do.
4
SPEAKER_01
Do you, do you predict that you will still have a, have a lust for adventure and want to go to weird places by yourself and hang out with strangers?
4
SPEAKER_00
Absolutely.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I m sort of addicted to that too, but I m at a point in my life, I ve been thinking about this a lot.
4
SPEAKER_01
I like to do that, and a lot of what I do in my career as a gecko is that.
4
SPEAKER_01
I did it even before I was doing the gecko thing.
4
SPEAKER_01
But also, a lot of part of me is like, wonders how much longer I can do that before it s,
4
SPEAKER_01
Don t know I guess Sad or Yeah, or or it gets lonely or whatever.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I m only I m about to be 26 years old in a month Okay, so we re we re similar to the same age.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, where s your birthday?
4
SPEAKER_00
December 20th Okay, I m January 4th I
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I m about to be 26 and I don t know bro, there s still like I, you know, I get all these DMs from people, I mean on the podcast a couple weeks ago I was talking to the guy in Pakistan and I mentioned that people should DM me to go, you know, film a video with them in a crazy place.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I still want to do all that stuff.
4
SPEAKER_01
And, um, you know, there s this guy on YouTube.
4
SPEAKER_01
His name is Peter Santonello.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if anyone knows who he is, but he s, like, inspiring to me because he s, like, 45 or something like that.
4
SPEAKER_01
And he s still running around making videos all over the world, hanging out with strangers of all different ages.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, but he s also got like a wife and shit and you know, he s not fat and uh Yeah, I think that could be cool if I could do that if I could have some kind of like stable life and you know, uh semblance of
4
SPEAKER_01
real, you know, relationship home kind of a thing, but also be able to, you know, hang out, yeah, hang out with a stranger in Mexico, um, and not die and make a video about it.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I don t know, maybe there s a way to combine all those universes.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Cause I also work at a, like a restaurant bar out here in Utah.
4
SPEAKER_00
And the other day, one of my tables was, um,
4
SPEAKER_00
these guys that are on a hockey team.
4
SPEAKER_00
And so they were playing the Utah Grizzlies.
4
SPEAKER_00
And just me just oversharing my life.
4
SPEAKER_00
The one guy was like, give me your number and I ll give you some tickets.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I went to the game and then we were just chatting after and I was like, I guess I ll have to come to Canada.
4
SPEAKER_00
But then we remembered that I can t really go to Canada with a criminal record, which I don t know if I technically, I think I do have a criminal record, unfortunately, but you can t go.
4
SPEAKER_00
So then I told him, I was like,
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, looks like you re either going to have to come back to Utah, California, or go to Mexico with me.
4
SPEAKER_00
And so we re going to plan a Mexico trip.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I ve met this guy once, but I mean, the odds of it following through are probably slim, but also I m the type of person that s like, if I invite you to go on a trip with me, even if you don t go, I ll probably still go on the trip.
4
SPEAKER_01
I d say that s the way to do it.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s the way to do it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
So if you ever want to go to Mexico, Gak, we could go.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, it s funny you mentioned that.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m moving away.
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, I don t know what the fuck I m going to do.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I have been wanting to go to Tijuana, even though I ve heard it can be a little crazy.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, luckily, my mom has a house in Puerto Vallarta.
4
SPEAKER_00
So that s where I would prefer to go, but Tijuana crossing the border is really fun.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s a little time consuming, but the adventure is there.
4
SPEAKER_01
Does your mom make good tostadas?
4
SPEAKER_00
No, my mom, well, my mom is white.
4
SPEAKER_00
My dad s Mexican.
4
SPEAKER_00
Um, bless my mom, but she can t, she can cook, but she can t really cook.
4
SPEAKER_00
My dad s a better cook.
4
SPEAKER_00
Also, my parents don t know that I had a DUI.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, they don t?
4
SPEAKER_00
No, this happened in May.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it s already November, and they still don t know.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I m going home for Christmas, and I am on the fence whether or not I want to tell them or not.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I have an ankle monitor, so it s like, OK.
4
SPEAKER_00
But luckily, I could just wear pants.
4
SPEAKER_00
But it s also California, so it could potentially be warm.
4
SPEAKER_00
Probably not.
4
SPEAKER_01
How do you think they would react to seeing that you have the ankle monitor?
4
SPEAKER_00
Probably a little disappointed.
4
SPEAKER_01
Hmm.
4
SPEAKER_01
You, Lauren, I don t know you very well, but you seem like you can deal with people being a little disappointed in you.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
As long, so that s the thing is like getting a DUI is it s not the worst thing in the world, but it definitely should give everybody a reality check if you ve ever gotten one.
4
SPEAKER_00
Um, and it has given me like the world s biggest reality check.
4
SPEAKER_00
Uh, and I m, I, the reason I can joke about my situation and make it so lighthearted because I understand and I can acknowledge the consequences that could have happened.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like it could have gone so much worse.
4
SPEAKER_00
I could have wrecked my car.
4
SPEAKER_00
I could have killed somebody like all the what if, but in my case, I just barely rolled a stop sign and that was on and off the road.
4
SPEAKER_00
That was it.
4
SPEAKER_00
So.
4
SPEAKER_01
Well Lauren, I hope that you... I don t know, I m back and forth on the whole... I hope that you are able to have further adventures in your life.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m kind of bullshitting myself because I don t see why...
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, just because, I mean, we re a similar age, and I don t see why just because we turned some age, we re supposed to stop going on weird adventures.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t know, I think all that stuff is arbitrary, so I hope you continue to go on as many weird adventures as you want.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, within the bounds of safety, of course.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Which, I mean, I always, I always, sometimes I don t think in the moment, but I feel like I always do have a good gut feeling and
4
SPEAKER_00
I do have a good head on my shoulders and I kind of know when to draw the line and if I m pushing that line a little too much and like that s the thing too is even just trying to date it s hard to find guys that are gonna be like you did what you let a stranger take you where like okay
5
SPEAKER_01
Okay, yeah, I did.
5
SPEAKER_01
I let a stranger take me somewhere, but like, I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_01
I survived.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m here.
5
SPEAKER_00
I guess that s a good point.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think about that all the time when, um, like you ever meet somebody old and they tell you and they, uh, not old, but, um,
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, like somebody who s like a crazy reckless driver and they re like 25.
5
SPEAKER_00
And you re like, wow, you ve probably been driving like this for nine years and you haven t died.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s pretty crazy.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I think about that if I m like ever in the car with them, I ll think about that.
5
SPEAKER_00
Because I ve been in a car with a crazy driver a couple of times.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I like while I m praying that we re not going to die, I think to myself, I m like, well, why now?
5
SPEAKER_00
Why would if they ve been driving like this every day for nine years, why would it be now with me in the car that they would crash?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
But you never know, it s one of those weird things that s like
5
SPEAKER_01
People are always like, I don t know how to say it, but like, some people are like, if it s your time, it s your time.
5
SPEAKER_01
And like, everything kind of happens for a reason.
5
SPEAKER_01
And like, I think me getting this DUI kind of happened for a reason.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s super shitty, but it is an expensive lesson.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I m very thankful in a way because I ve learned so much about myself and like where my priorities are and what I want out of life and stuff like that.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, Lauren, is there anything else you wanna say to the people of the computer before we go?
5
SPEAKER_01
I know you said something about like, everybody always says something inspirational.
5
SPEAKER_01
I thought about it and I was like, ah, don t drink and drive.
5
SPEAKER_01
But, I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so I m gonna, hold on, I m just gonna, as a side note real quick.
5
SPEAKER_00
One time, I was not expecting this to go viral within the Gecko community, but one time I said,
5
SPEAKER_00
on the podcast, everyone always answers that because I say at the end of every call, if there s anything else you want to say.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I said one time that everyone always answers it with a motivational thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I think I said, you don t have to do that.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I said that once.
5
SPEAKER_00
And now every time I ask the question, everyone responds by saying, oh, I know you don t like it when people say motivational things.
5
SPEAKER_00
All I was saying, you don t have to say something, but you say whatever, say whatever you want, Lauren.
5
SPEAKER_01
Okay, okay.
5
SPEAKER_01
I think I m gonna go with spend the $40 on an Uber because $10,000 is not worth it.
5
SPEAKER_00
I like that.
5
SPEAKER_00
Thank you for calling Lauren.
5
SPEAKER_00
Have a rest of the night.
5
SPEAKER_01
You too.
5
SPEAKER_01
Bye.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know what?
5
SPEAKER_00
I m going to Tijuana.
5
SPEAKER_02
Call from Kaylee.
5
SPEAKER_00
Hello.
5
SPEAKER_02
Hi, how s it going?
5
SPEAKER_00
It s going good.
5
SPEAKER_00
What s up, Kaylee?
5
SPEAKER_02
Not much.
5
SPEAKER_02
I m just hanging out in bed.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s kind of late.
5
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
5
SPEAKER_00
Are you comfy cozy, as they would say?
5
SPEAKER_00
Comfy cozy?
5
SPEAKER_02
So comfy cozy.
5
SPEAKER_00
Rock and roll.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s a good place to be.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, let s get a little uncomfortable, shall we?
5
SPEAKER_00
That s a weird thing to say.
5
SPEAKER_00
What s up?
5
SPEAKER_00
What s your name?
5
SPEAKER_00
Say your name one more time.
5
SPEAKER_02
Kaylee.
5
SPEAKER_00
Kaylee, okay, that s what I thought it was.
5
SPEAKER_00
Kaylee, what would you wanna talk about today?
5
SPEAKER_03
Well, I m a little unhappy at where I am in my life right now in general.
5
SPEAKER_03
Mostly because I m in a PhD program and I have been thinking about leaving for like a year now.
5
SPEAKER_00
What PhD program are you in?
5
SPEAKER_03
I am getting my degree in molecular cell biology.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, my God.
5
SPEAKER_00
I can see why you want to quit.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Sounds awful.
5
SPEAKER_00
What made you want to do that?
5
SPEAKER_03
Well, in college, I ended up working in a research lab and I kind of liked it.
5
SPEAKER_03
And I was like, well, why not keep doing this for a little bit longer until I can figure out a more stable career path?
5
SPEAKER_03
So I figured grad school was a really great option.
5
SPEAKER_03
And now I hate my life.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s not, I mean, looking at cells, right, they move slightly every once in a while, don t they?
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, they do.
5
SPEAKER_03
So I ended up doing, so I ended up joining a cancer research lab.
5
SPEAKER_03
And one of the things that kind of goes through my head all the time is,
5
SPEAKER_03
Wow, cancer is like so hard to study.
5
SPEAKER_03
I don t know if anything I ll ever do will amount to any sort of treatment for anyone.
5
SPEAKER_03
So it just feels really futile and kind of like... You know what s funny?
5
SPEAKER_00
You know what I think is so funny is just you represent this idea that like, you know, humanity never finds the cure to cancer because, you know, we just got bored.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know, we got bored of sitting in like all the scientists that were working on it were looking at cells and writing things down and being like, this fucking sucks.
5
SPEAKER_00
I want to go get high and move and play video games.
5
SPEAKER_00
This is fucking boring.
5
SPEAKER_00
And it s actually kind of cool that like, I mean, there s a lot of people who do do that, but as a whole science, um, even though it s boring to sit and look at cells, we still do it.
5
SPEAKER_00
And that s cool.
5
SPEAKER_03
I feel like my, there, there definitely are people that hate their lives in grad school because they think it s boring.
5
SPEAKER_03
I feel like I still definitely have an interest in science.
5
SPEAKER_03
It s just,
5
SPEAKER_03
I think the whole process is overwhelming.
5
SPEAKER_03
I think the structure of academia is stupid.
5
SPEAKER_03
I don t know if what I want to do with my life now, I necessarily need a PhD.
5
SPEAKER_03
There s all sorts of factors that are contributing to my thoughts.
5
SPEAKER_00
What do you want to do with your life now?
5
SPEAKER_03
That is a great question.
5
SPEAKER_03
I ve always told myself that I don t want to be a professor or run a lab or anything, that I just want to go sell my soul and work for big pharma.
5
SPEAKER_03
But those jobs are so incredibly hard to get.
5
SPEAKER_03
And yeah, I don t know if I necessarily want to grow cells in a dish and
5
SPEAKER_03
give mice cancer anymore.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know, it s, um, everyone shits on being a sellout, but they don t know how hard it is to get those big sellout jobs.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s not easy selling out.
5
SPEAKER_03
Oh, definitely.
5
SPEAKER_03
It s not.
5
SPEAKER_00
Um, all right.
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you want to, uh, well, if you quit your PhD today, what would your, what would tomorrow look like?
5
SPEAKER_02
Um, Hmm.
5
SPEAKER_03
Well, I think my boss and my lab would probably let me stay until I found a job.
5
SPEAKER_03
And I would probably start looking at jobs in science in my city.
5
SPEAKER_03
It s like, there are some.
5
SPEAKER_03
So I think I would probably be able to get something.
5
SPEAKER_03
But I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_03
I remember I reflect back to like, I m just gonna sound really stupid.
5
SPEAKER_03
I reflect back to like high school when I was a cashier at a grocery store.
5
SPEAKER_03
And I really enjoyed talking to people, and I m like, maybe I would like doing some retail or customer service for a little while, and then just to get my bearings.
5
SPEAKER_03
But I know I m sure lots of people in customer service are yelling, being like, do not do that.
5
SPEAKER_00
Have you done?
5
SPEAKER_00
Wait, hold on.
5
SPEAKER_00
But you ve done it before?
5
SPEAKER_03
I kind of.
5
SPEAKER_03
So I don t know if you count cashier at a grocery store as retail.
5
SPEAKER_03
I kind of did.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
How long were you doing that for?
5
SPEAKER_03
I just like two years in high school.
5
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_00
And did anyone ever come in and spit on you and make you want to never do it ever again?
5
SPEAKER_03
No, but I did have weird middle-aged men try and hit on me when I was like 16.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Did, um, um, what about, but I don t, I don t think, what s your name again?
5
SPEAKER_02
Kaylee.
5
SPEAKER_00
Kaylee, I don t think that the decision to be like looking at cells sucks.
5
SPEAKER_00
I want to do something with my hands and look at people and talk to them.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t think it s a bad call.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t think it s a bad call.
5
SPEAKER_00
Because also I mean, yeah, you say that people in customer service might be listening to this and screaming at you not to do it But everyone s everyone s wired differently.
5
SPEAKER_00
They are so for some for there are some jobs that for some people are the you know hellish and then for other people they you know, like you know bagging groceries and
6
SPEAKER_00
talking to old ladies and stuff so I don t think it s a bad move to I don t think it s bad to you know what was it two steps back one step forward or two steps back three steps forward some shit like that something like that steps add up to be good steps but yeah why not
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, there s just, it s just such a big decision because if I left, I probably would never be able to go back and get a PhD if that s something I wanted to go back to, at least at the university I m at now.
6
SPEAKER_01
So it s just a big decision.
6
SPEAKER_00
Can t you just, can t you just learn all the, look, whatever you re learning in your PhD, I m sure is on YouTube.
6
SPEAKER_01
I, man, maybe I missed, maybe I missed a big video essay.
6
SPEAKER_01
about how to cure cancer.
6
SPEAKER_00
I ll have to find it.
6
SPEAKER_00
No, I bet there s a guy on YouTube who is like, here s how to cure cancer from a cell.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s probably like a three hour long video, but you ll know how to do it by the end.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I ll have to do a deep dive.
6
SPEAKER_01
Definitely.
6
SPEAKER_00
Well, Kaylee, I m glad that I was able to successfully convince you to make a major life decision.
6
SPEAKER_01
I appreciate it, Lyle.
6
SPEAKER_01
Thank you so much.
6
SPEAKER_00
Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
6
SPEAKER_01
No, I know you get so many callers that are like, I ve been listening to you for ages, but I m kind of a recent caller.
6
SPEAKER_01
I started listening to your podcast like a couple of months ago, and they definitely brighten my days.
6
SPEAKER_00
Cool, thanks man, I m glad you, I m glad, no, I think that s awesome.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m glad the new people are listening to the pod.
6
SPEAKER_00
I hope that you continue to listen for as long as you enjoy listening.
6
SPEAKER_01
You got it, yeah, I ll be back.
6
SPEAKER_01
Thanks again.
6
SPEAKER_00
Take care, Kaylee.
6
SPEAKER_01
Alright, have a good night.
6
SPEAKER_00
Curing cancer sounds boring as hell.
6
SPEAKER_01
Taking your phone calls every night.
6
SPEAKER_01
Therapy kit goes to his right.
6
SPEAKER_01
He s teaching you how to live your life.
6
SPEAKER_01
But he s not really an expert.