0
SPEAKER_02
Are you in your airplane mode?
0
SPEAKER_02
I, yeah, just got off the plane.
0
SPEAKER_02
So impressed.
0
SPEAKER_02
I like your lipstick.
0
SPEAKER_02
Thank you.
0
SPEAKER_01
Lip gloss ready.
0
SPEAKER_01
Put a little lip on.
0
SPEAKER_01
It makes a big difference.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s what they do say.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay, I was going to suggest that we do something special in this episode, but I didn t suggest it in time.
0
SPEAKER_01
We can t.
0
SPEAKER_01
What is it?
0
SPEAKER_01
But next time.
0
SPEAKER_01
I think we should do a roundup of our newest favorite things.
0
SPEAKER_01
Like our recommendations.
0
SPEAKER_01
Basically a gift guide mid-year.
0
SPEAKER_01
Like a mid-year vocalized gift guide.
0
SPEAKER_02
That s a good idea.
0
SPEAKER_02
It s funny because I was putting on some makeup before I was coming, and I was like, oh, I really should talk about this bronzer.
0
SPEAKER_02
I ve never brought it up.
0
SPEAKER_02
It s one of my favorite things.
0
SPEAKER_02
It s great.
0
SPEAKER_02
Well, do you think we could do it off the fly or no?
0
SPEAKER_02
Do you think we need to prep?
0
SPEAKER_02
I think we should prep because we re also— We ll forget stuff.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_02
I think it should be a well-balanced guide.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_02
I love that.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so next week we re gonna do a roundup of some of our favorite things, a mid-year, a Christmas in May gift guide.
0
SPEAKER_01
I love it.
0
SPEAKER_01
Something came up the other day I saw in my house and I thought, I should put this on my gift guide in December, but by then I ll have new things, it ll be too late.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, and it s fun to do a gift guide in the spring, spring-summer time.
0
SPEAKER_01
How was your trip?
0
SPEAKER_01
It was good.
0
SPEAKER_01
I just got off the plane.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, I dropped off my bag at home and I made a tea because technically, according to this time, I ve been up since 2.30.
0
SPEAKER_02
Oh, God.
0
SPEAKER_01
I know you must be so exhausted.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, surfing was so good.
0
SPEAKER_01
I ll crash in a bit, I m sure, but for now, fine.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I went home for Mother s Day, which was very lovely.
0
SPEAKER_01
You hung out with Alice and Roman?
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yes.
0
SPEAKER_01
I did Alice and Roman.
0
SPEAKER_01
My Chef, My Dream, My Girl, My Girlie.
0
SPEAKER_01
She has a podcast and she is touring it around a bit.
0
SPEAKER_01
So she sent me an email asking if I would perhaps participate in any of the shows.
0
SPEAKER_01
But no, we re in L.A.
0
SPEAKER_01
And it just so happened that her show in Atlanta was over Mother s Day.
0
SPEAKER_01
And so it was the right move.
0
SPEAKER_01
Killed two birds with one stone.
0
SPEAKER_01
There we go.
0
SPEAKER_01
A phrase we often use and say.
0
SPEAKER_02
I say it wrong.
0
SPEAKER_02
I think you have got it right.
0
SPEAKER_02
Well, I don t know.
0
SPEAKER_01
But anyway, so yes, it was so fun.
0
SPEAKER_01
The show in Atlanta was so fun.
0
SPEAKER_01
I was proud of my people.
0
SPEAKER_01
There was a 10-year-old boy in the audience that was so cute.
0
SPEAKER_01
And he, because the way her show works is people submit questions as they walk in if they want.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then Allison like goes through them really quickly before she goes on stage.
0
SPEAKER_01
picks a few for people to come like repeat their question in front of the audience and then discuss it.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then there s some just rapid-fire ones.
0
SPEAKER_01
But the one from the 10-year-old said, I was listening to last week s episode.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I love him.
0
SPEAKER_02
We have 10-year-old listeners?
0
SPEAKER_02
We don t.
0
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I thought it synced.
0
SPEAKER_02
I was like, we need to adjust the content.
0
SPEAKER_02
This is her podcast.
0
SPEAKER_02
I mean, if you re 10 and you re listening, let us know.
0
SPEAKER_01
Shout out.
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t think Jonah should listen to this one.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s a little inappropriate for him.
0
SPEAKER_01
Is it?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_02
It s not that inappropriate.
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, there are more inappropriate podcasts.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, sure, but that doesn t mean we re not inappropriate for a 10-year-old.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, sure.
0
SPEAKER_01
If I had a 10-year-old, I probably would not encourage them to listen to this.
0
SPEAKER_02
But if they listen to Sync, like, I would be concerned that they like it.
0
SPEAKER_02
Wouldn t that be kind of like, okay, there s something we should talk about?
0
SPEAKER_02
That s what I m saying.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay, got it.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s what I m saying.
0
SPEAKER_01
I think it s not appropriate.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
For 10-year-olds.
0
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, it was really, really cute and he was asking this cooking question and it was really sweet.
0
SPEAKER_01
Sweet.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
How are you?
0
SPEAKER_01
How was your weekend?
0
SPEAKER_02
How was your Mother s Day?
0
SPEAKER_02
It was great.
0
SPEAKER_02
What d you do?
0
SPEAKER_02
I FaceTimed for, you know, five hours because I m not in the same country, but it was nice.
0
SPEAKER_02
I sent everyone cupcakes.
0
SPEAKER_02
It was my dad s birthday also on Mother s Day.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, oof.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, so it s always a big weekend, and I was supposed to have a date with LinkedIn guy, but he had to reschedule.
0
SPEAKER_02
Oh, because he stole my move?
0
SPEAKER_02
I guess.
0
SPEAKER_02
No, he had to help his mom move, which felt important.
0
SPEAKER_02
That s sweet.
0
SPEAKER_02
Cute.
0
SPEAKER_02
So we have a date this week.
0
SPEAKER_02
Great.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
What are you guys going to do?
0
SPEAKER_02
I didn t know what happened.
0
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God, I m so happy it didn t happen on your pants.
0
SPEAKER_02
You had a premonition.
0
SPEAKER_02
I did.
0
SPEAKER_02
I knew it.
0
SPEAKER_02
She was a nervous lady.
0
SPEAKER_01
It wasn t so much a premonition as it was just very hard to open that.
0
SPEAKER_00
The way you just spelled it, it sounded like you said, are you guys gonna, and then you said, fuck.
0
SPEAKER_01
Are you guys gonna fuck?
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, are you?
0
SPEAKER_01
I was just hearing you.
0
SPEAKER_01
What are you guys gonna do?
0
SPEAKER_02
Well, we were supposed to go to All Time.
0
SPEAKER_02
Very sexy spot.
0
SPEAKER_02
Right?
0
SPEAKER_02
Because of the movie?
0
SPEAKER_02
No, I don t think, I don t think any.
0
SPEAKER_02
Are men watching?
0
SPEAKER_02
Oh, he recommended All Time?
0
SPEAKER_02
No, he said, I ll come to you.
0
SPEAKER_02
I think after the Wes Adams, you know, situation.
0
SPEAKER_02
The 50-minute drive.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_02
He was like, I ll come to you.
0
SPEAKER_02
And I was like, well, then we have to go to all time.
0
SPEAKER_02
But then it turned into like kind of now like an intimate.
0
SPEAKER_02
He was like, oh, we could go for a hike or sauna because I got a sauna.
0
SPEAKER_02
And now we re like going to hike and sauna, which feels like very... Because it was part of our original conversation was the sauna.
0
SPEAKER_01
So that s a nice callback.
0
SPEAKER_01
I really like when on a second date, it s a callback to the first date.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
That happened to me in December.
0
SPEAKER_01
The second date was a callback to the first date, and I really liked that.
0
SPEAKER_01
What was the callback?
0
SPEAKER_01
On the first day, we talked about baked potatoes, of course, which I had over the weekend, actually.
0
SPEAKER_01
So proud of you.
0
SPEAKER_01
And the second day, we went to Houston s for baked potatoes.
0
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I like that I like when there s a text after the date that references something you ve talked about that you were gonna do In his text it was like, have fun with the sauna, like, because I told him I was setting it up For the listeners, you bought a sauna, but not the kind that is a zip-up sleeping bag Yeah
0
SPEAKER_02
It s a tent or something?
0
SPEAKER_02
It s like between a real sauna and one of those tent ones.
0
SPEAKER_02
Because I was subscribing to this sauna place and it was like a membership fee.
0
SPEAKER_02
I was like, at this point, I should just buy a sauna.
0
SPEAKER_02
So I invested in a sauna.
0
SPEAKER_02
It s outdoors?
0
SPEAKER_02
It s outdoors.
0
SPEAKER_02
And before that, I had a weird tent one, which I gave to my TaskRabbit.
0
SPEAKER_02
That s my grandfather in my TaskRabbit.
0
SPEAKER_02
And doesn t speak English.
0
SPEAKER_01
Doesn t speak English.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, my God.
0
SPEAKER_01
Liz, I hope he doesn t mistake
0
SPEAKER_01
how long to be in that sauna and shrivel into a peanut.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s a good worry, but not to invalidate you.
0
SPEAKER_02
But when he saw our little tent sauna, he showed us all these photos to my roommate.
0
SPEAKER_02
I didn t I was on a call or maybe here, but he was like showing his phone that he d been in a Russian because he s Latin.
0
SPEAKER_02
Latvian or from Lithuania, I can t remember, but one of the two.
0
SPEAKER_02
And so he showed the photos of being so excited.
0
SPEAKER_02
Because in Latvia or Lithuania, it s a big history of saunas.
0
SPEAKER_02
We might need to Google that, but maybe, I feel like there is.
0
SPEAKER_02
Anyway, he s really into it.
0
SPEAKER_02
And so then when he was assembling the sauna, my roommate was like, should we give him the sauna?
0
SPEAKER_02
And I was like, right, like he loved it.
0
SPEAKER_02
And so then we gave it to him.
0
SPEAKER_02
He s so nice.
0
SPEAKER_02
I have so many feelings.
0
SPEAKER_02
I ve never had this many feelings for someone I can t communicate with.
0
SPEAKER_02
It s really interesting.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_02
Have you ever had that?
0
SPEAKER_02
Well, with the little boy in India.
0
SPEAKER_02
It was a little girl who said Dax.
0
SPEAKER_01
So yeah, I mean, I wouldn t say that wasn t so much strong feelings as that s crazy that she just said that and then she s me somehow.
0
SPEAKER_01
But I have had run-ins with people where they have an impact that is outsized to our interaction.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s right.
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t know what that is.
0
SPEAKER_01
Maybe it is an indication that we ve met them before.
0
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I like that idea.
0
SPEAKER_02
Do you realize that you ve left an impact on people that you don t even realize that you like?
0
SPEAKER_02
You re that person.
0
SPEAKER_02
Positive and negative.
0
SPEAKER_01
Probably.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
We ve talked about this, how when we ve had negative interactions, they can be debilitating and it can veer the course of your entire life off track.
0
SPEAKER_01
And yet, if we re going to be Buddhist about it, we should really let all that go because we re doing that.
0
SPEAKER_01
We have no idea.
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, is there anyone you know in your life that you know you have had a negative— Like, they sit with negative feelings towards you.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m the villain.
0
SPEAKER_02
You re their villain.
0
SPEAKER_02
I mean, some— For sure.
0
SPEAKER_02
Definitely.
0
SPEAKER_02
Sometimes I think— Someone I went on maybe three dates with, but there were a lot of run-ins, and I was like— No, Liz, that s not fair to you.
0
SPEAKER_01
No, because I know this story, and you didn t do anything wrong.
0
SPEAKER_01
If that person thinks you re the villain,
0
SPEAKER_01
that is their issue.
0
SPEAKER_01
You like went on multiple dates with this person and then ultimately it wasn t a good fit.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s normal and fine.
0
SPEAKER_02
But do you ever go through a thing and someone you re like, this person and they like ruin your life for a minute and then you find yourself in a situation many years later or like a while later and you ll be like, oh my God, I just did the thing that this
1
SPEAKER_02
person had done to me that you become sort of like it s you I felt that a little bit with him where but you re right first I said this isn t happening you know I kind of think I made something up that s a problem well there we go yeah sometimes I don t want to hurt the person and so I ll be a little bit avoidant around it not direct and when someone does that to me it s
1
SPEAKER_02
It s so heartbreaking.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it s so painful.
1
SPEAKER_02
And I m like, why wouldn t they just say it?
1
SPEAKER_02
And I m like, because I ve been in that situation and I don t say it.
1
SPEAKER_02
So it gives you compassion for the person that s ruining your life.
1
SPEAKER_02
But I hate that feeling when I m like, oh, well, but then you re reflecting on it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I think it s healthy.
1
SPEAKER_01
to think, fuck, no one s doing anything that mali- Like, the person who s quote, ruining your life, you have decided that they ve ruined your life.
1
SPEAKER_01
They are just sort of moving through the world as they do.
1
SPEAKER_01
And you re giving them a lot of power.
1
SPEAKER_01
Ding, ding, ding.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so this past Monday s armchair is Camila Cabello.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yay!
1
SPEAKER_01
Who is your friend.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I m not sure if you ve listened yet, but you do come up.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, sweet.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, you come up multiple times because obviously we mentioned that you re friends.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then I do bring you up, and I wonder if you re going to be upset.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, God.
1
SPEAKER_01
Or I wonder if you re upset.
1
SPEAKER_01
What did you do?
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t think it was bad, but I asked her.
1
SPEAKER_01
It was pertinent to the conversation, what she was saying.
1
SPEAKER_01
I asked her if she gives a lot of power to men, and then we sort of like
1
SPEAKER_01
Talked about that a little bit and she was like, well, what do you mean exactly?
1
SPEAKER_01
Can you elaborate?
1
SPEAKER_01
And I said, yes, I think she won t mind because we talk about it already.
1
SPEAKER_01
I ve said it many times on this show, I think.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I said, you know, I say this to Liz all the time because she s so great and wonderful and has so much to offer.
1
SPEAKER_01
But despite that, I think she hands over a lot of power to men.
1
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, so I said that and I didn t check with you because it just came out.
1
SPEAKER_01
What did she say back?
1
SPEAKER_01
She says she thinks she does do that.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
A bit.
1
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I think it would have been weird if you were both like, isn t it annoying when women give a lot of power to men?
1
SPEAKER_02
Like you didn t say it that way.
1
SPEAKER_02
And again, I think it s a relatable— I think a lot of women do.
1
SPEAKER_02
Exactly.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
A lot of men do.
1
SPEAKER_01
Give power to men.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, of course.
1
SPEAKER_01
We all give power to men.
1
SPEAKER_01
We all give power to people.
1
SPEAKER_01
But it definitely isn t like that s annoying.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s when you re on the outside of something, you can see it.
1
SPEAKER_01
And when you re on the inside, you can t.
1
SPEAKER_02
No, you re right.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s still something I m working on.
1
SPEAKER_02
I think I give a lot of power to other people, period.
1
SPEAKER_02
I give a lot of power to people that I m in relationships with.
1
SPEAKER_02
Whether it s romantic, I think is, like all of our relationships, the most exactly.
1
SPEAKER_02
But I think overall, do you ever feel like your therapist is kind of over it a little bit with your bullshit?
1
SPEAKER_02
Like that she s saying the same thing over and over again?
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, that s interesting because I have a friend who just started going to couples therapy and she loves her personal therapist a ton.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then she went to couples therapy and they really, really love their couples therapist a lot.
1
SPEAKER_01
And she did one session solo with the couples therapist.
1
SPEAKER_01
And after she said, I think I need to get a new personal therapist.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like this is teaching me that I think we ve hit our limit.
1
SPEAKER_01
Because at some point, you know, we ve talked about this, OTs, original therapists, they can know you so well that it can almost be a hindrance.
1
SPEAKER_01
And they also can get protective of you in a way that they kind of shouldn t.
1
SPEAKER_01
Interesting.
1
SPEAKER_01
They are also in a relationship with you.
1
SPEAKER_01
And over time, if that s like a really, really long time that you ve been with that therapist, they can t help but develop some sort of feeling about you.
1
SPEAKER_01
And when they hear stories that are coming from you, which of course are going to be like,
1
SPEAKER_01
Very one-sided.
1
SPEAKER_01
Totally.
1
SPEAKER_01
All of the things we tell our therapists, unless you re on couples therapy, are one-sided.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
I think they can get clouded.
1
SPEAKER_02
Of course.
1
SPEAKER_02
But isn t that the point of therapy?
1
SPEAKER_02
That obviously they re there, they have all these skills and know all these things about attachment theory and relationships and conflict resolution and all that stuff.
1
SPEAKER_02
But the point of therapy is also to mirror the relationship of the loving parent of this unconditional kind of love.
1
SPEAKER_02
And psychoanalysis, yes.
1
SPEAKER_02
OK, from what I ve heard, fill the blank, you know, unconditional parent or the unconditional love that you re supposed to have for yourself, actually, that a lot of people come into therapy.
1
SPEAKER_02
I certainly came into therapy hating myself.
1
SPEAKER_02
And so the goal of the therapist is to actually be completely accepting of you and completely unconditional in their support of you.
1
SPEAKER_02
And that s kind of, again, sometimes they can feel like, well, you re always taking my side.
1
SPEAKER_02
But that s kind of the point.
1
SPEAKER_01
Not for me and not in mine.
1
SPEAKER_02
That you don t want to take your side?
1
SPEAKER_01
It s not sides.
1
SPEAKER_01
If I m like, this happened.
1
SPEAKER_01
I ve never heard her say, you re right about anything.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s all about like how to arrange my thinking so that I minimize the negative effects of whatever s happening in my life.
1
SPEAKER_01
But it s not like, I hear your story and I side with you, or I m providing unconditional love.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it is definitely like, it s compassionate, it s support.
1
SPEAKER_01
She s not there to validate my feelings.
1
SPEAKER_01
She doesn t validate your feelings?
1
SPEAKER_01
That s not the therapist for me.
1
SPEAKER_02
But she s doing it, maybe not by saying, I validate your feelings, but she is validating your feelings by accepting the reality.
1
SPEAKER_01
You re right.
1
SPEAKER_01
Validating is maybe not the word.
1
SPEAKER_01
She s validating my feelings as in understanding that they re real feelings, but she s not cosigning on my feelings.
1
SPEAKER_01
She s not like, what you feel is right and that is how you should feel and like you re the best.
1
SPEAKER_02
I don t think that s what I m saying either.
1
SPEAKER_02
For me, and maybe again this is my situation, but I would invalidate my own experience a lot and would end up again in relationships where, so I think I would come to her and she would be validating because I was kind of invalidating my own stuff.
1
SPEAKER_02
But maybe that s just me.
1
SPEAKER_02
Every therapist is also so different.
1
SPEAKER_02
Right.
1
SPEAKER_02
And you have different needs.
1
SPEAKER_02
I mean, again, if you have a good therapist, they sort of see what you need.
1
SPEAKER_02
Did you see the new, okay, there s like a chat GPT update, big conference, sort of like, you know, with the iPod, iPad ones, they would happen once a year.
1
SPEAKER_02
And here s a new product and like all the new evolution of it.
1
SPEAKER_02
And I was watching it on my way here.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s like Dan on crack.
1
SPEAKER_01
What is it?
1
SPEAKER_02
I mean the thing I saw, I couldn t watch the whole thing, but it was this guy, one of the people from ChadGBT, he s on stage and he s like, hey, I m doing a live conference right now and I m feeling really nervous.
1
SPEAKER_02
And she goes, oh wow, you re on a live conference right now?
1
SPEAKER_02
That s cool.
1
SPEAKER_02
And he s like, can you help me relax?
1
SPEAKER_02
Or like, what should I do?
1
SPEAKER_02
I feel nervous.
1
SPEAKER_02
And then she s like coaching him through like this breathing exercise.
1
SPEAKER_02
We re one step away.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, it s we I it I saw it.
1
SPEAKER_02
You saw it.
1
SPEAKER_02
No the handjob.
1
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_02
Sorry.
1
SPEAKER_02
I thought you I mean, it s gonna happen like two and a half weeks.
1
SPEAKER_02
That s what I m saying Yeah, we are so close from like actual her the movie her Yes, and I was at a dinner party and someone told me that there is a restaurant in Pasadena That s an AI restaurant that just opened know where the robots make the food
1
SPEAKER_01
No!
1
SPEAKER_02
They seat you, and then, like, they bring you the food.
1
SPEAKER_02
There s no humans.
1
SPEAKER_02
There s only humans that come and, like, check on you, but since they re not cooking or seating you, they re, like, relaxed, and they re just there to, like, make sure you have a good time.
1
SPEAKER_01
Liz, what are you talking about?
1
SPEAKER_02
Wait, what do you mean, they make the food?
1
SPEAKER_02
Robots are making the food.
1
SPEAKER_02
They do it.
1
SPEAKER_02
Robots.
1
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s happened.
1
SPEAKER_02
I heard.
1
SPEAKER_02
From where did you hear this?
1
SPEAKER_02
A very good source.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s a hairdresser.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, my God.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m seeing a CBS News article about it, too.
1
SPEAKER_01
But what are the the robots are making the food?
1
SPEAKER_01
What kind of robot?
1
SPEAKER_01
We don t have advanced enough robots to make food.
1
SPEAKER_01
I think we do.
1
SPEAKER_02
No, we don t.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s like fried food.
1
SPEAKER_02
I mean, it s kind of burgers.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
Like McDonald s.
1
SPEAKER_02
Don t they kind of have robots doing stuff back there?
1
SPEAKER_01
No, what?
1
SPEAKER_01
That s like the whole thing is AI machine learning is extremely advanced, but robot technology currently is not very advanced.
1
SPEAKER_01
There s some basic robot like the Roomba is like where we re at in a physical robot form or those like army ones.
1
SPEAKER_01
Hold on, let me look this up.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s Cali Express by Flippy is the name of the restaurant.
1
SPEAKER_01
Why is it so weird?
1
SPEAKER_00
Wagyu burgers and fries.
1
SPEAKER_01
We should go buy Flippy.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, we should definitely go see what this is all about.
1
SPEAKER_01
Wagyu burgers for the price of traditional burgers.
1
SPEAKER_01
The grill robot grinds the high-quality beef in real-time after the order is placed, resulting in a burger patty that melts in the mouth.
1
SPEAKER_01
Flippy, the famous robotic fry station, cooks up crispy hot fries made from top-grade potatoes.
1
SPEAKER_01
cuts the potatoes.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like, is the prep happening by humans and then they re throwing it on the machine and then the machine is that?
1
SPEAKER_01
That makes more sense to me.
1
SPEAKER_01
They re not cutting potatoes yet?
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, aren t there machines?
1
SPEAKER_01
Like, you can cut potatoes.
1
SPEAKER_01
You can, but someone has to then put the potato on the machine for then it to slice and then take the slices and move, you know?
1
SPEAKER_01
They re giving you like a babysitter.
1
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
1
SPEAKER_01
You need like some human involved to operate the machinery would be my... Well, yeah, I guess we should go and see.
1
SPEAKER_01
This is bad.
1
SPEAKER_01
People need jobs.
1
SPEAKER_01
I think it s over though.
2
SPEAKER_00
What s over?
2
SPEAKER_00
Jobs.
2
SPEAKER_01
Jobs.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m just embracing the chaos.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like a few weeks ago I was like oh this is like it s 1968 but with robots.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like we re just in it and actually trying to resist the chaos makes it harder for me.
2
SPEAKER_01
So now I ve just been embracing it.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so let s go eat franchise made by robots.
2
SPEAKER_00
See what it s all about.
2
SPEAKER_01
See what it s all about.
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean I prefer that they re doing that than like writing movie scripts.
2
SPEAKER_01
manual labor, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
That s the whole thing.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s tricky because that removes a sector of jobs of people who really don t have much money and don t have a lot of college education.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Those people need jobs.
2
SPEAKER_00
They should be running the A.I.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s probably only going to need one person.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_00
This is obviously why it s all so complicated.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay, well we ll go there.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I think they re going to turn to therapists.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like when I was watching that thing, because remember how Dan was bad at the restaurant stuff?
2
SPEAKER_01
He lied to us.
2
SPEAKER_01
He lied and gaslit us.
2
SPEAKER_01
But when I was one-on-one with him, he was pretty supportive and like helpful with mental health stuff.
2
SPEAKER_00
I know, but it s so basic.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like everything he was saying was basic.
2
SPEAKER_01
But isn t that kind of the whole thing?
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, not that this can solve every mental health issue, but so much of what makes life hard is you re just not maybe talking to someone about something, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
Like just talking about it and then having someone validate your feelings can be enough sometimes.
2
SPEAKER_01
And AI, because you ve been to a friend, you ve done this, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
Where you ll be like, okay, I should talk to someone about this.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then you get out of your house, you go meet a friend, and then they make it worse.
2
SPEAKER_01
Mmm, sure, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
And you re like, this is why I should just keep everything to myself.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like the AI could make it worse, sure, but they re trained to kind of know.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, they re reading literature that other therapists have put on the internet and like psychology articles and stuff.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like they re pulling from those resources.
2
SPEAKER_00
I guess in a pinch, it s good, but I don t think it s replacing human therapists because our problems are so nuanced.
2
SPEAKER_00
What I go to my therapist for, if I talk to her about an issue I m having, like, in one situation versus another situation with different people, and she knows the players and she knows the types of relationships and she knows the pitfalls of each relationship and the patterns, it changes, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
It s not just, well, this is how you should be in the world, which is sort of how Dan is.
2
SPEAKER_00
He s just giving, like, generic— It s basic, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
good advice on how to be, but it s not taking into account that humans are confusing.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
One thing that might be good for you to do, for me, that s not great.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s not going to work for you.
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I don t want robots to take over.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m just- You love robots.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t.
2
SPEAKER_01
I just, I m trying to cope.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because or else I ll just get overwhelmed and be like, oh my God, the world is ending.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I need to be like, I m trying to just go with the flow.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s good.
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This is a paid advertisement.
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Insurance is underwritten by either Independence American Insurance Company or United States Fire Insurance Company and produced by PTZ Insurance Agency Limited.
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The ASPCA is not an insurer and is not engaged in the business of insurance.
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Support for Syncd comes from ZocDoc.
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You love ZocDoc.
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And I just love going into a new doctor knowing that people have been very happy with them and sort of being able to see the reviews.
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And if you don t know, ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare highly rated in-network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online.
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And ZocDoc has really figured out a way to make it streamlined and easy.
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ZocDoc.com slash synced.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, I just learned something when I was home.
2
SPEAKER_00
My mom learned to swim in college.
2
SPEAKER_00
So her trauma is obviously passed down.
2
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_00
So it s intergenerational.
2
SPEAKER_00
When did her mom learn?
2
SPEAKER_00
Probably never.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no, no, no.
2
SPEAKER_00
Her mom learned in India.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like she would swim and I know there was like stories they have a river or something and they would all swim in it.
2
SPEAKER_00
But they didn t put their kids, my mom and her sisters, in swimming lessons or anything.
2
SPEAKER_00
But apparently in college, you had to pass a swim test in college.
2
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
2
SPEAKER_00
Isn t that kind of crazy?
2
SPEAKER_00
I did that.
2
SPEAKER_01
It might have been elective, but I swam.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you took like a swimming class.
2
SPEAKER_01
I took a swimming class.
2
SPEAKER_01
What is it called?
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
2
SPEAKER_01
Scuba diving.
2
SPEAKER_01
In college?
2
SPEAKER_01
I know.
2
SPEAKER_01
Or SEJAP, which is like our pre-college.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wow.
2
SPEAKER_00
I know.
2
SPEAKER_01
Very weird.
2
SPEAKER_01
Would you go straight to scuba diving?
2
SPEAKER_00
No.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m never scuba diving.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re never scuba diving?
2
SPEAKER_00
No, I ve heard some stories that I wouldn t, I m, yeah, I m never doing it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Accidents?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s not great.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Don t dive.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s really upsetting.
2
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, also we ve had a lot of Armchair Anonymous stories that have to do with like scuba and they re all bad.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
So anywho, what I think people could hear is I m just afraid, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
I m just like, I m afraid so it s stopping me.
2
SPEAKER_00
But I also don t want to.
2
SPEAKER_00
There s absolutely nothing about it that draws me in and then I m scared so I stop myself.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like there are things in my life for sure where that s the case where I m like kind of interested but it s too scary.
2
SPEAKER_00
This is not.
2
SPEAKER_01
I just don t want to at all.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s how I feel about driving.
2
SPEAKER_01
It scares me and I don t wanna.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so don t do it.
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean I think we should learn the basics in case there s an accident.
2
SPEAKER_01
Do you think there s gonna be a scuba related like emergency maybe?
2
SPEAKER_01
maybe there s a situation you know a scuba yeah like look you never know it s a crazy time to be alive we can t rule things out speaking of okay I want to bring up the airplane the overhead now oh my god okay okay go ahead because you just flew yes and you texted me I texted you about a very
3
SPEAKER_01
controversial story that s been going around the internet about a woman that was videotaped taking a nap in the overhead compartment of an airplane.
3
SPEAKER_02
In the overhead?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_02
How is that even possible?
3
SPEAKER_00
Who helped her up there?
3
SPEAKER_00
Also, they re not even that
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I guess it holds the bag.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it holds the bag.
3
SPEAKER_01
She s just a little lady.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, she fits in there.
3
SPEAKER_01
You wouldn t fit in there.
3
SPEAKER_00
I wouldn t.
3
SPEAKER_01
What type of plane was it?
3
SPEAKER_01
Southwest?
3
SPEAKER_01
Southwest.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s always Southwest.
3
SPEAKER_00
There s always something going on in Southwest.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so yeah, you sent this to me.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m going to read verbatim the text.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
You sent it.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s a New York Post article.
3
SPEAKER_00
Southwest passengers baffled after a woman climbs into overhead bin for a nap.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then you wrote, we need to discuss this.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then I did, ha ha, ha ha ha.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then you said, I think she has every right to do this.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I said, what?
3
SPEAKER_00
And then you said, I know I actually would support her.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then I said, you re just trying to be a contrarian now.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then you laughed and you said, I support women, her body, her choice.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then my dad picked me up from the airport.
3
SPEAKER_00
I couldn t respond to this.
3
SPEAKER_00
Liz, be honest.
3
SPEAKER_01
Are you just being funny?
3
SPEAKER_01
When I saw it, I was like, oh my God, this is so funny.
3
SPEAKER_01
But then I thought about it and I was like, go hurt.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, what does it matter?
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t care.
3
SPEAKER_00
But what if she falls on some— Okay, for one, it s a danger.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s a hazard.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s a danger.
3
SPEAKER_00
For who?
3
SPEAKER_00
For— Okay, she could fall on the aisle.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean— No, someone s water bottle fell out onto me and it hurt bad.
3
SPEAKER_00
Fell on you?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was open?
3
SPEAKER_00
She was putting it up.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, and it fell.
3
SPEAKER_00
And it was open and it fell on my hand and it really hurt.
3
SPEAKER_00
And that was a water bottle.
3
SPEAKER_00
If a woman flies out onto you, that is disturbing and traumatic, for one.
3
SPEAKER_00
Two, I wonder, this is a deeper question.
3
SPEAKER_00
And it s funny because I think I know this about you, but I guess I don t.
3
SPEAKER_00
To me,
3
SPEAKER_00
The audacity to think that you can break a rule, that everyone else is abiding.
3
SPEAKER_00
Again, oh my God, it s like back to the running on the street.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m very driven by conscientiousness and awareness of others.
3
SPEAKER_00
And like deciding that your life is more important than everyone else s or your convenience is more important than everyone else s, prioritizing yourself in like a sea of other humans, I can t stand.
3
SPEAKER_00
So this is that times like 4,000.
3
SPEAKER_00
I think you are more, as we re learning over time on this show, on this little show of ours, you don t care about that.
3
SPEAKER_00
I do.
3
SPEAKER_00
No, you don t.
3
SPEAKER_01
You even said the sidewalk.
3
SPEAKER_01
You were like, I think you should run around.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s not coming from a place of thinking people can break the rules.
3
SPEAKER_01
I would never stand in the sidewalk.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s that I don t want any inconvenience to other people.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s a weird me thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
I d rather just go the long way than have to like interact and be like sorry and to like advocate for myself.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I m very on the same page as you on that.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t think that the napping in the overhead applies.
3
SPEAKER_01
What if everyone napped in the overhead?
3
SPEAKER_01
Is that fine?
3
SPEAKER_01
I think if there s room in the
3
SPEAKER_01
Look, if she s taking up the room and people can t put their bags, then no.
3
SPEAKER_01
But if it s free and there s space and you want to take a nappy nap, go for it.
3
SPEAKER_01
But why does she get to do it?
3
SPEAKER_00
She needs to sit in the seat like everyone fucking else on Southwest and sleep like everyone else is napping.
3
SPEAKER_01
Not nap, and this is a beef that I have with the airline industry in general, that they have middle seats.
3
SPEAKER_01
They shouldn t have middle seats.
3
SPEAKER_01
I fly a lot, and I fly not in the front of the plane.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s a very uncomfortable experience, and I think that that s like a fuck you to the system.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, Southwest, to be fair, I don t think has front of the plane.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, they don t?
3
SPEAKER_00
It s all the same.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s all equal.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes, it s all equal, and what you do get by paying more is you can enter the plane first to pick your seat, but that s it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, I like that.
3
SPEAKER_00
I support that.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so then everyone on that plane, no one is in a better position than anyone else.
3
SPEAKER_00
I feel like if it s a Delta flight and you re like, well, there s first-class people who are sleeping, so why them?
3
SPEAKER_00
I get to sleep.
3
SPEAKER_00
She can sleep.
3
SPEAKER_00
And she s older.
3
SPEAKER_01
She didn t look that, let me look.
3
SPEAKER_02
She didn t look that old.
3
SPEAKER_01
She doesn t?
3
SPEAKER_01
She looks like an old lady.
3
SPEAKER_01
I thought it was an old lady.
3
SPEAKER_02
I mean, it s a weird photo because she s sitting in this.
3
SPEAKER_01
She doesn t look that old.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
Also, if she s old, she definitely shouldn t, like, this is such a hazard for her if she falls out.
3
SPEAKER_00
All her bones will break.
3
SPEAKER_00
All her bones will break.
3
SPEAKER_00
She s like 45, this woman.
3
SPEAKER_01
— That s not old, Liz.
3
SPEAKER_01
— Okay, I thought she looked older than that.
3
SPEAKER_01
I thought she was like 60, or like 57.
3
SPEAKER_01
— It is really hard to tell from this one picture.
3
SPEAKER_01
— I just think they should make flying more comfortable for the price that they re charging, and they really don t care.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so to me, actions like this are like a little bit of a, well, we have no room, we re cramped, so there s room, so we re going to take the room that we re paying for.
3
SPEAKER_00
She s paying for the overhead.
3
SPEAKER_00
She s paying the same amount everyone is paying.
3
SPEAKER_00
And no one else is getting to do that.
3
SPEAKER_00
But do other people want to do it?
3
SPEAKER_00
No, because I think most people are sane.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I don t want, look, I guess my therapist would say this is my issue, not hers.
3
SPEAKER_00
But if I am on that plane, I will not feel comfortable at all with a person
3
SPEAKER_00
Over you?
3
SPEAKER_00
Over me, or even if I see it, like, I m gonna be perturbed that there s a person who might fall out at any time or also is unhinged.
3
SPEAKER_00
Do you think it s up to the government to, like, I mean, you re a liberal, so my guess is yes, that you agree, this is, like, tangential but similar, that
3
SPEAKER_00
There are regulatory bodies for a reason, because humans can get cattywampus, like, can get crazy.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so there s a reason there are rules and regulations to keep people in line a bit.
3
SPEAKER_00
Sure.
3
SPEAKER_01
Do you think that s important?
3
SPEAKER_01
I do.
3
SPEAKER_01
And just so it s clear, like, if someone takes off their socks on a plane, I can t — I — it s — That s a problem.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s a problem.
3
SPEAKER_01
Even though — That doesn t affect you.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s gross.
3
SPEAKER_01
See, I think that that is worse than sleeping in.
3
SPEAKER_01
But why?
3
SPEAKER_01
Because this woman is hiding in the— I m not seeing her.
3
SPEAKER_01
She s just having a nap.
3
SPEAKER_01
Of course you re seeing her.
3
SPEAKER_01
What are you talking about?
3
SPEAKER_00
She definitely didn t close it.
3
SPEAKER_00
You wouldn t be able to breathe.
3
SPEAKER_01
And it s open in the picture.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay, I thought she would be closing it while it s going so that she doesn t fall out.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay, now I feel differently because that s how endangering.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s the difference?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, if it s closed and she s just napping, like, who cares?
3
SPEAKER_01
Do your thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, who cares if someone s socks are off next to you?
3
SPEAKER_00
That doesn t matter.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s smelly.
3
SPEAKER_01
The visuals are disgusting.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s not respectful.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s like Kellyanne Conway without socks.
3
SPEAKER_01
Remember that photo of her in the White House and she s sitting on the White House couch without her socks on?
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t remember that.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s often white people.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s often white people.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s like a very entitled, I m just going to do this thing even though it s not taking other people into consideration.
3
SPEAKER_00
But there s literally no difference from that woman who is also not taking anyone into consideration, but also technically doesn t affect anyone.
3
SPEAKER_01
I feel like it s more of a symbolic revolutionary act.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think that s why I respect it more, but I understand why people would be perturbed.
3
SPEAKER_01
I wouldn t be like,
3
SPEAKER_01
get over it, this is okay. 
3
SPEAKER_01
I would just kind of be like, you go girl.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like I would be kind of excited that we re disrupting the industry.
3
SPEAKER_01
Are you happy around crazies?
3
SPEAKER_01
Do you get a little spike from it like Dax does?
3
SPEAKER_01
Probably.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean I m trying to think of like who the last person.
3
SPEAKER_01
crazy in a way that, like I don t want to be in close proximity with them often, but it ll be kind of interesting for me.
3
SPEAKER_00
Entertaining.
3
SPEAKER_00
You find it entertaining, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is probably a 50-50, maybe less or more split where a lot of people would find that situation entertaining.
3
SPEAKER_00
Right.
3
SPEAKER_00
And a lot of people would find it disturbing.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, you would be disturbed.
3
SPEAKER_00
In general, I feel unsettled now and unsafe.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t find it funny or fun.
3
SPEAKER_00
This person s not well, and I don t like the reminder that there are people who are unwell and are up there staring down at us.
3
SPEAKER_00
Also because you know what else I hate about it is now it s on the nice flight attendant who is dealing with so much fucking bullshit all the time to have to deal with this.
3
SPEAKER_00
That is so fucked.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, no.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, also though, on my way, there was a plane event actually.
3
SPEAKER_00
I must have been so tired, I guess, so I didn t put two and two together that you had sent me.
3
SPEAKER_00
I had received that after I had endured my own plane event.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, wow.
3
SPEAKER_00
person this was the front of the plane just to be candid so there was a person next to me but I couldn t see him like there was a barrier and he was making some loud noises and then sometimes he said like fuck like
4
SPEAKER_01
once or twice.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then I was like, does this person have Tourette s?
4
SPEAKER_01
Probably.
4
SPEAKER_01
And that s what I thought.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I was like, okay, this is probably what this is.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then we were starting to land and it happened again.
4
SPEAKER_01
And the flight attendant came up and was like, sir, are you okay?
4
SPEAKER_01
And he was like, I actually couldn t hear what he said, but then she said, okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
She was nice.
4
SPEAKER_01
And she just said, watch the language.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so then, you know, whatever, we landed.
4
SPEAKER_01
And of course, like, of course, everyone, as soon as we got up, and I didn t do this because I was like, hyperaware, don t make it, don t, like, look.
4
SPEAKER_01
But of course, everyone did.
4
SPEAKER_01
I saw everyone s head just, like, immediately turn.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I felt so bad.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then I thought, what an impossible situation for also the flight attendant, though, because there are kids on that flight.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so I m sure that s why she had to say that.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, they should know how to deal— I feel like— How?
4
SPEAKER_01
They re not therapists.
4
SPEAKER_00
These are flight attendants.
4
SPEAKER_00
You learn how to deal with someone who s in a wheelchair or someone who is autistic, right?
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it s just you re gonna have all kinds of people on a plane.
4
SPEAKER_00
If he has Tourette s, it s like not helpful to be told, like, don t— It s not, but what, like, what do you do?
4
SPEAKER_00
You don t have to do anything.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it s just that s what s happening.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s like holding in a sneeze, telling them to not do something.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then I guess this is a tricky—
4
SPEAKER_01
If someone doesn t have a disability and is doing that, do you think they should be told to stop?
4
SPEAKER_00
If someone s being disruptive on purpose, 100%, and I guess that s what she was trying to figure out, but a lot of people aren t trained.
4
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, there was a guy at a coffee shop I would go to all the time in New York who had Tourette s.
4
SPEAKER_00
occur, and then at first you re like, what s going on?
4
SPEAKER_00
And you realize, oh, and it s so, I don t know, I just feel for the person.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s like, me, normally, I don t want to draw attention to myself when I walk in anywhere, let alone over something that you can t control.
4
SPEAKER_00
And yeah, people don t, your first inclination is not necessarily that it s that, because a lot of us aren t exposed to it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Billie Eilish has Tourette s.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I know.
4
SPEAKER_00
So it s good when people talk about it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it is.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think it s a hard situation because
4
SPEAKER_01
I can t ask a flight attendant to know how to diagnose someone with Tourette s versus someone who s just being disruptive.
4
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
4
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, not diagnosed, but I think if you know how to recognize Tourette s, which again, I think should just be part of all of us should just know the difference, then you can probably just deal with it in a better way.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I wasn t there.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if it was that obvious.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, it was sad.
4
SPEAKER_01
All these things are just hard to navigate.
4
SPEAKER_01
Life is hard to navigate for everyone.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Whether you re the person who s like supposed to, quote, deal with a problem or if you re the one in the, I mean, we all cause disturbances.
4
SPEAKER_01
Everyone hates it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Right.
4
SPEAKER_00
Probably.
4
SPEAKER_01
probably don t.
4
SPEAKER_00
Some people probably like it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think just having worked like, again, when I was a lifeguard or like, people are so insane.
4
SPEAKER_00
Anyone who has to deal with the public, you re amazing and doing God s work.
4
SPEAKER_00
For real.
4
SPEAKER_00
But sometimes those crazy situations, again, I m not saying that flight attendants had a great time with her and bringing her down or whatever.
4
SPEAKER_00
But sometimes those situations also make us laugh.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then it s like, OK, this is so funny now.
4
SPEAKER_00
As long as she s not being unruly and like, you know, I hope that she climbed down and was.
4
SPEAKER_00
Also, are we sure it s real?
4
SPEAKER_00
It s probably not, but it doesn t matter We don t know what the situation was, I don t know how long she d been there, but there was someone up there, I mean, there s a video Yeah, life is... yeah
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Support for Synced comes from Quince.
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Okay, well, on that note, let s do some questions.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that s an interesting one.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay, let s do this one.
4
SPEAKER_01
Why can t I have a real conversation without crying?
4
SPEAKER_01
This is from Tasha.
4
SPEAKER_01
Hi guys, looking forward to my Wednesday listens every week.
4
SPEAKER_01
Why is it that if I have any sort of serious conversation or the most minor confrontation, I can do so without crying?
4
SPEAKER_01
It s so beyond frustrating.
4
SPEAKER_01
I ve never been good at confrontation and I avoid it at all costs.
4
SPEAKER_01
But when it s unavoidable like a small fight or disagreement with a friend or talk with the boss or just generally expressing my feelings in any form, I cannot get through it without tears.
4
SPEAKER_01
Is this just me?
4
SPEAKER_01
It makes me feel like I can t be taken seriously and that my points in a conversation aren t even valid because I m saying them through tears, even when I don t feel the need to cry or be upset.
4
SPEAKER_01
Do either of you have any tools for this? 
4
SPEAKER_01
This is a great question.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s so good.
4
SPEAKER_01
I have been there.
4
SPEAKER_01
We all land on this spectrum.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, I have friends who are 100% you and literally just cannot not cry.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then I ve also been in situations where I m trying to be direct and professional.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s really hard when you re trying to be professional and then like you can t not cry.
4
SPEAKER_01
I always leave those situations and I do feel, I feel silly.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m like everything I said just got thwarted by my tears and I m gonna be dismissed as this woman who
4
SPEAKER_01
can t be professional or can t handle her emotions.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t really have, what is your advice?
4
SPEAKER_00
I like, I relate so much and like I have cried in so many settings and professional ones where like, maybe I ve told this story, but like I had this crying event.
4
SPEAKER_00
At work, I worked at a start-up, a media start-up, and there was this contract negotiation and it was going back and forth and they just came back with something that felt so hurtful to me, and it was so bad.
5
SPEAKER_01
that in that moment I was like, oh my God, I m going to have to leave this job.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I got really sad and really hurt.
5
SPEAKER_01
And so I ended up being like, can I just have a minute?
5
SPEAKER_01
And I stood, walked to the corner of the room and then cried and like started breathing more slowly and like bringing myself down from it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, calming myself from it.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then I came back and I was like, this is just a lot for me.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I m just gonna, if we can talk about this at another time, that would be great.
5
SPEAKER_01
And in the end, it made an impact.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like, it s not what I wanted.
5
SPEAKER_01
I felt embarrassed.
5
SPEAKER_01
I felt, oh my God, I can t control my emotions.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like, but usually, like, it does move people to act when they can see.
5
SPEAKER_01
And sometimes I feel like
5
SPEAKER_01
In romantic relationships, I ve become so afraid to cry with people that I m like, I feel like I shouldn t be crying already because sometimes you haven t been seeing someone for so long and then you re like, oh my God, if I cry, this is so intense.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s not like we ve been married for three years.
5
SPEAKER_01
It ll look like I care more about you than I do, but maybe I do, right?
5
SPEAKER_01
It can be telling.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s so telling.
5
SPEAKER_01
Basically, yeah, your tears are revealing what you might not want to reveal.
5
SPEAKER_01
But my tip is to take a break.
5
SPEAKER_01
Whoever you re dealing with, if you feel like you are on the verge of tears, just saying, I just want to be clear-headed when I have this conversation, so I just need a few minutes, or can we talk about this tomorrow?
5
SPEAKER_01
And then go cry it out.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think an approach is to just be very open about it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, hey, I know this looks ridiculous, but this is just how my body reacts in confrontation.
5
SPEAKER_00
But we can continue.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know, like, just sort of address it.
5
SPEAKER_00
This is what I do.
5
SPEAKER_00
I cry a lot in confrontations.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_00
Just being very open about it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s like the elephant in the room.
5
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so a few weeks ago, I was trying not to cry, but it was a situation where I was meeting this woman that was helping us with the movie, and she watched it, and she had these very specific notes, and she clearly just had no — it was kind of great, because everyone that I ve showed it to is a friend or, you know, it s like, it s great, you know, but I m like, but tell me how to make it better.
5
SPEAKER_01
And she was not sugar-coated.
5
SPEAKER_01
No sugarcoating at all.
5
SPEAKER_01
Doesn t really know me, but knows a producer on the film.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I was sitting with her and my two producers, and I was like, am I gonna cry?
5
SPEAKER_01
And this wasn t a confrontation, and that s when I was like, this would be so embarrassing.
5
SPEAKER_01
Because it s like, I can t even take the criticism.
5
SPEAKER_01
I can t even take this conversation, and I look like I m a kid.
5
SPEAKER_01
So what d you do?
5
SPEAKER_01
I basically… What did I do?
5
SPEAKER_01
You, like, held it in like a fart.
5
SPEAKER_01
I do think it s easier to hold in cries than farts.
5
SPEAKER_00
That is shocking.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think so.
5
SPEAKER_00
Not for me.
5
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I will say the other day, and this is an Easter egg, sort of, we were doing a recording here.
5
SPEAKER_00
Not me and you.
5
SPEAKER_00
We were doing one for Armchair.
5
SPEAKER_00
Uh-huh.
5
SPEAKER_00
And— You farted?
5
SPEAKER_01
No!
5
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no.
5
SPEAKER_00
No.
5
SPEAKER_00
It would have been too good.
5
SPEAKER_00
Too good to be true.
5
SPEAKER_00
No.
5
SPEAKER_00
We had a guest and something came up.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was already so emotional walking into the room.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was just dealing with my own shit.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then the conversation started and I was like, I m gonna cry.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like I m about to cry.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was like, oh my God, do not.
5
SPEAKER_00
Cry right now.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like this is so inappropriate to cry right now.
5
SPEAKER_00
You can t do it So then I just started drinking a lot of water.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay, you can kind of distract yourself It s true.
5
SPEAKER_00
It like half works.
5
SPEAKER_01
It half works, but half is already like you re not in the you know It s like I ve told you what I do It s I don t do it for but I might try it for crying when I m at the dentist or like something s really painful And I have to like sit through it.
5
SPEAKER_01
I think about the notebook scene where they re dancing in the street.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh you disassociate.
5
SPEAKER_01
I disassociate
5
SPEAKER_00
Which is hard to do when you have to speak.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like that s the problem.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s why in this case it was good because I just kind of stopped and then Dax was talking.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I didn t have to speak through what was happening because I bet I wouldn t have been able to.
5
SPEAKER_01
So your stuff was coming up in the interview or there was a dynamic that was like making things worse?
5
SPEAKER_00
No, I was already like… On the verge.
5
SPEAKER_00
On the verge for like three days, you know?
5
SPEAKER_00
And it was coming.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I was feeling so sensitive to the world.
5
SPEAKER_00
Sure.
5
SPEAKER_00
And the beginning of the interview was about me.
5
SPEAKER_00
And so I was like, I can t handle this.
5
SPEAKER_00
Sure.
5
SPEAKER_00
It was silly.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like we just were having this kind of funny banter at the top.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I was in a place where I could not handle anything.
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Sometimes we are in that place.
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I ve just been like, what s going on with female hormones?
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Me too.
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How my period this week, I was like, couldn t work.
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It s really bad.
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Me too.
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Maybe there s something going on.
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I don t know.
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But again, though, it s annoying to say it because I know that like hormones obviously make everything way more intense.
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But the thing is still real, what s underneath it.
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And I feel like tears make it seem like, oh, it s just hormones.
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It s not a big deal.
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It s not a big thing.
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It s nothing.
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And that s not true.
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Whatever you re crying about is still real and still means something to you and needs to be excavated.
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Exactly.
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So, yeah, the tears are, how did you phrase it?
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They reveal.
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Yes.
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They reveal what s important.
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And you might just not have a great poker face and that s fine.
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What I like to remember is I m sensitive and it s so annoying so much of the time.
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And there s so many things that make it harder for me to exist.
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But the flip side is there was a study I came across that helped me understand it, which was sensitive kids, yes, they feel sadness and anxiety more, but they also feel joy and bliss more.
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Yes, you feel the sadness and those negative quote-unquote emotions really hard, but I m sure you also feel the positive emotions harder.
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You re probably a water sign.
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Yeah, and just embrace it.
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I think you bring it up.
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I like yours a lot.
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It s probably making you cry more to try not to.
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To hold it in.
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Exactly.
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And hide it.
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Actually, in one of my acting classes in college, one of my professors said,
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It s actually way more interesting to see someone try not to cry than just like, oh, this is a sad scene, cry.
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It s like it s actually more interesting to see someone try not to.
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Yeah.
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And I bet if you say it weirdly, I bet it like you won t cry as much.
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I think so, too.
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Or like you ll be able to laugh about it.
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Yes.
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Hmm.
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Crying.
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When was the last time you cried?
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Good question.
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That was one of the first day questions.
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I cried this weekend because I saw a TikTok about a sister with cancer and I like ruined me.
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But I cried a bit this I had a little teary eyed this morning.
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My mother sent me a really cute text.
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That s sweet.
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When s the last time you cried?
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Thursday.
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That was the day.
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And what was going on?
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Oh God.
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I mean.
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Should I talk about it?
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Well, for one, again, I just felt completely unregulated.
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I was like, what is going on that I can t bounce back?
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And then something happened that did really throw me.
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I don t think I can talk about the details on here, but basically some event that had nothing to do with me, but sort of did, just brought up so many feelings of
5
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all my stuff, like not lovable.
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I m validation that I m not lovable or that people don t like me.
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So that happened.
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And then.
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That was a couple of days before, so it was just like it was just building and then it broke as it does.
5
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But anyway, let s see.
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Okay, I think a lot of people have this problem.
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Hi Liz and Monica, I always wake up on Wednesday mornings excited to hear the new episode.
5
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This is a dumb and easy question, I think.
5
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I ve been with my boyfriend for about a year.
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It started off casual, but now we are meeting family and stuff, and I love him a lot.
5
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However, he s made the very reasonable request to spend more time hanging out at his house.
5
SPEAKER_00
To be fair, it s harder for me because I have to bring my two dogs, but he has opened his home to them and got them treats, so I can t even use that excuse anymore.
5
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I ve worked hard to make my house cute and comfortable and lit well, and I want to be at my house all the time.
5
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I m trying to navigate how frequently we have to go to his house and I don t even know if I can say anything.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay, love you, bye I think so many people struggle with this and I would definitely struggle with this because I like my space I do the opposite.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t want them at my house.
5
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I just want to go to their house
5
SPEAKER_01
Really?
5
SPEAKER_00
I know.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s weird.
5
SPEAKER_00
Even when you re in it, in it?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Why?
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I don t know.
5
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I just feel better.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, maybe because I ve never been with someone that their place was like very not nice, you know, not comfortable.
5
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But I like that my space is my space and like I can go back to my things.
5
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Interesting.
5
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But I relate to like lighting.
5
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Maybe those are things you can talk about.
5
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What are the things that are bothering you about his place that would make it more comfortable for you?
5
SPEAKER_01
He probably would want to know.
5
SPEAKER_01
He got the treats.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s true.
5
SPEAKER_00
He s like, he s willing to make some changes.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
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I mean, I think you could maybe be like, it s a little dark in here.
5
SPEAKER_00
How would you feel about if we put a lamp in here or something?
5
SPEAKER_00
I think you could do that.
5
SPEAKER_00
But also some people just like being in their home.
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And that is hard because I do think the truth is you kind of have to
6
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just compromise and know that being in this relationship means you re gonna have to spend more time there than you d like.
6
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I have a friend who was in this situation where her partner never wanted to come over to her house.
6
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And she was like, I shouldn t always have to be the one to go.
6
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And I think that s right.
6
SPEAKER_01
There becomes like a deeper thing.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s not even about the house.
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Yes, there s an imbalance where one person s always giving and the other person is not.
6
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So you, unfortunately, I think you have to go there.
6
SPEAKER_01
But again, I think you could say, I m so annoying.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m such a homebody.
6
SPEAKER_01
I really just like being at my house.
6
SPEAKER_01
But of course, for you, I think it s only fair that I come over.
6
SPEAKER_01
So how do you feel about maybe like we put a lamp or something over here?
6
SPEAKER_00
Say what you like or get— if the sheets aren t comfortable.
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I don t know.
6
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Sometimes boys, like, make it more comfy for you, but, like, find out what would make it better for you.
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I get the two dogs, though.
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That s, like, a whole schlep.
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SPEAKER_00
It is.
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But— But, yes.
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Especially if he s brought it up.
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If no one brings it up, it can be fine.
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But if he s brought it up, then— But he wants— That means he s feeling that there s an imbalance.
6
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Yes.
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There s an emotional undertone to it.
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Yeah.
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So— Sorry.
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Yeah, I think so.
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Sorry.
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Downsides of being in relationships.
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To go to people s houses.
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Yeah, it s true.
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Speaking of, so you said you spoke to your mom on Mother s Day and your mom sent you a nice text today.
6
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Did you have any feelings about Mother s Day?
6
SPEAKER_01
Did anything like pop up for you?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, no, I m like so intense.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I mean it s hard not to.
6
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And even her text, this is gonna sound weird, but it was so nice and I was like, does she think she s gonna die soon?
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SPEAKER_00
Like, that s where my mind goes.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m like, oh, she s like writing these texts because like she doesn t know how much time she has left.
6
SPEAKER_00
But is she sick?
6
SPEAKER_00
No, I m just constantly thinking my parents are going to die.
6
SPEAKER_01
Same.
6
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Wow.
6
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Is this an immigrant parent thing?
6
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I don t know.
6
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Someone needs to tell us.
6
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Do other people feel this way?
6
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Because it s constant.
6
SPEAKER_00
I know.
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When I m with them, it s times a hundred.
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I know.
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I ll come back from seeing them.
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I m sick.
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I feel like there s like a physical toll.
6
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My sister doesn t have that.
6
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Because my sister sees them all the time so she doesn t even really, obviously she s seeing that they re aging, but we like, when you see a parent at the airport and you re like, oh my god they look so much older than last time, I m not okay for like a few days just off of that.
6
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I know, I know.
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So that s what it was bringing up, age.
6
SPEAKER_01
But did it bring up anything fertility wise?
6
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Oh, interesting.
6
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Yeah.
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I ll get that around Christmas or my birthday or Valentine, like things that are more couple-y.
6
SPEAKER_00
But Mother s Day, no, interestingly.
6
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Do you?
6
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Yeah, I have now for I guess the past couple of years.
6
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Mother s Day feels different now.
6
SPEAKER_01
It like hurts a little bit more.
6
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But in a weird way because I still don t, you know, I still don t know what I want.
6
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But it s just a reminder that I don t have.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s a marker.
6
SPEAKER_01
You don t have this.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s okay.
6
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It doesn t mean necessarily you need it, but it is something you don t have and this is shining a light on that.
6
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Do you think that people who don t want kids feel that way?
6
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Do you think that the fact that you feel that way on Mother s Day is like a sign that you may want kids?
6
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I don t know.
6
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We d have to ask Chelsea Handler.
6
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She s the only one I know that s like, well, no, she s not.
6
SPEAKER_01
I actually know multiple people who are just like, we re not doing that.
6
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, I think because I don t know, there s an added element where it s like nebulous.
6
SPEAKER_01
I can t say either way.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m so sad that I don t have them or I feel great that I don t have them.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s more like, oh, gosh, I don t know if I ll ever celebrate this in a way that other people are celebrating it.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like, I wonder.
6
SPEAKER_01
It causes some anxiety a little bit.
6
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, I definitely think about it on Mother s Day.
6
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Do you think that the person you re dating someone and they have a stance on it, it ll affect your decision?
6
SPEAKER_00
That s a good question.
6
SPEAKER_01
Probably.
6
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If I m in love with someone and they say I really want kids, that feels easy to me.
6
SPEAKER_01
But if they say I really don t, that actually feels harder.
6
SPEAKER_00
Hard, right?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Both feel hard to me.
6
SPEAKER_00
I was on a date last night.
6
SPEAKER_00
He also doesn t know.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, what do I want to hear?
6
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, oh, both would scare me.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think I really need to have kids because then I d be like, oh, my God, if I want to be with this person forever, I would need to have kids.
6
SPEAKER_00
But also I don t want kids is also scary because then it s like, oh, then I m not having that.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s so funny.
6
SPEAKER_00
It is.
6
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Of all the generations, I think we re the one that knows the least.
6
SPEAKER_00
Other generations seem to have just known, like, do they want or do they not?
6
SPEAKER_00
And there wasn t really a choice a long time ago.
6
SPEAKER_00
But I ve never known this many people who actually don t know.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s true.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay, let s see.
6
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What time are we at?
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, we re at time.
6
SPEAKER_01
But we have other great questions next.
6
SPEAKER_01
We have a porn question for next week.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, God.
6
SPEAKER_01
How do I decenter men from my life?
6
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s huge.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s for next week, too.
6
SPEAKER_01
OK, great.
6
SPEAKER_01
And also next week, we ll come with some gift guides.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
6
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Thank you for submitting questions.
6
SPEAKER_01
Please continue to submit questions.
6
SPEAKER_01
We love hearing from you guys.
6
SPEAKER_01
And well, maybe by next week, maybe we ll have tried the robot burger.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
6
SPEAKER_01
What are you even gonna eat there?
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you can t eat Wagyu burgers.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you can eat robot fries.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay, we ll report back.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay, great.
6
SPEAKER_01
Can t wait.
6
SPEAKER_00
Bye.
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SPEAKER_00
Bye.