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Yes, because people back in the day, you forget how many great songs Tom Petty has.
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And then he starts... Well, she s an American girl.
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Now, Dana, welcome to Superfly.
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This is our third episode, as I m screaming, and we want to thank everyone because
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They re watching on YouTube, which is new for us.
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YouTube s doing well.
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And then audio, you can always go to fly on the wall and it feeds you into some super fly back channel way to listen to it.
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People have adjusted to what we look like because they ve heard us for a while now.
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And then at first they went, oh my God.
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But then the brain acclimates, that s just how they look now, and everyone relaxed.
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To call it a smash would not be an understatement.
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I mean, it s like an unbelievable smash hit, but that s fine.
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The first reaction is usually just gross when they see us.
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They say gross, and then they say sickening, and then they say, you guys look the same.
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You know, speaking of SNL, Dana, we don t really talk about it on this show, but a big story is Shane Gillis is going back.
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Shane, who s a fucking stud, who, hilarious, was on Fly on the Wall, if you want to listen to that.
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That was about six months ago.
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He was a little shell-shocked from the trauma of being fired, just being fired from SNL.
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And he was playing, you know, clubs.
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He s a very sweet, extremely brilliant comedian.
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And now he plays, I think he was, he did open for Usher, they just didn t show it, but I think he did do 20 minutes at the Super Bowl.
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And Usher was like, move him along.
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He was on one of the polls in the background.
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Or was he the guy they shot up in the air?
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See him shoot somebody up in the air?
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I don t know the pageantry, the whole thing.
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But before we go to that, yeah, that Shane going back, being on the show that fired him.
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That s I m going to call it now.
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And I m not the first one to coin it.
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Must see TV.
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Yeah.
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I mean, Norm went back when he got fired.
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Norm MacDonald, who we re all buds with.
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And I thought that was interesting, but actually Shane has blown up more than, I mean, Norm had done great after he left, but it was nothing like going from selling out clubs and selling out big theaters.
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Like Shane is all around doing great, big money coming in and big special.
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Um, and super cool and sort of, uh, well, someone called him the Taylor Swift for men, which is hysterical.
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Like all guys like him, you know what I mean?
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He s like a guy s guy.
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He s big.
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He s, he s, he wears a t-shirt.
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He s just like a regular dude.
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And he just talks like dudes talk and, but it s very clever.
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Yeah, us as fellow comedians, you know, when you see Louis C.K.
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come up or or Norm or whatever, or David Spade, people who have a take on stuff you wouldn t think of.
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And Shane is the latest greatest in that, that he s just doing it a little different than right before him.
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It is his moment.
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And he s sneakily, incredibly likable.
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He has most comedians.
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I don t know if you have a laugh, but most comedians have a laugh.
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that they do once in a while throughout their set.
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He just has a really charming one.
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Even if his bit is kind of edgy, he just wins you over.
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So I m going to watch.
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That s my Chris Rock has a laugh when he does his act.
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You re right.
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Yeah, it actually can help a joke.
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Oh, I think it s your your own soundtrack.
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Richard Pryor would have a kick the whole time.
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Kiss the man.
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Cosby had a laugh.
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Sorry, I didn t mean to bring him up.
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Jerry Seinfeld and you and Louis C.K., they ll just do it like every three to four minutes.
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And his monologue, Shane.
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I mean, I don t even know what you say.
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I mean, it s so funny.
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I just I think I m happy SNL.
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just said, took the hit and just said, yeah, come back.
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You re too big of a star now.
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And it s actually sort of in the ether right now that he s doing well.
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And that s the kind of host they want.
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And so fuck it, what happened before, just take it.
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Yeah, that s part of Loren s sort of brilliance as a, you know, SNL.
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I mean, he is SNL.
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And you can see part of being on SNL is just reading the room and reading the moment.
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And, you know, maybe someone in the room at Loren s office said, I don t know.
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Oh, please.
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It s that thing of the, you call, he comes on the show, you have a mea culpa or whatever else culpers you want.
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Then you have a cup of copa and you go to the, you go to like a really long party.
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We ll have it at Orso.
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Orso s again.
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Oh yeah.
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What do you want to, what else do you want to say?
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Do you want to tell you have any thoughts about the Superbowl, even though it s been a week?
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Um, I just think if, if,
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Like Taylor Swift, again, really like Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce.
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Start with that.
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But I look at the Skybox.
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And I look at the glowing people in the skybox.
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I look at their cocktails.
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I look at their smiles.
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I look how young and fresh.
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They seem like the happiest thing of humanity.
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What party was invented that I never went to?
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And I ve been to some pretty good parties, but when I look up there, I go, how do you get into that glowing kind of alternative universe skybox where everything is great, where you play Tokyo, a million fans,
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Excuse me?
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Oh no, they re like, yeah, Taylor Swift.
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I m from Tokyo.
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Exactly.
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Be realistic.
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That s what that is.
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Look, I ll do this so we can cut it, but it s one of my favorite bits.
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And I look, I just do a lot of accents, but I used to do all these accents around the world and where they came from.
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And one of them was in Japan, where did that guttural accent come from, the sound of a Japanese accent?
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And that was because it s in a seismic zone.
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So they d be sitting around and an earthquake would hit and they d be like...
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Are you shaking your fucking... What s an earthquake?
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I didn t know it had an extra part to it, that s great.
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So I don t know.
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I mean, look, I mean, they tracked her plane.
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Was that funny?
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Or they tracked her plane all the way from Japan to make sure she was something fun to do.
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She s the Beatles of her generation.
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She s beautiful.
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Her lipstick is incredible.
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Never smudges.
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She s like the supernatural person on the planet.
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And then the boy toy is six five to 70.
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And they seem, they do, they pack on the PDA.
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Do you know what that means when a couple packs on?
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It is a little PDA heavy.
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I didn t think of that, but yeah.
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Yeah, they re making out and swaying their song.
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I mean, and again, I m a fan, but it s like, you know, can any relationship, as a casual observer, stay at a 10?
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He wins the Super Bowl, she s super, super.
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They re swaying and kissing and hugging and grabbing.
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Everyone s just looking in the wide shot.
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They re like supernatural beings.
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Where does it go from there?
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So what I wanted to do is introduce potential red flags
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for any couple, and that couple, which is our kind of royalty, Travis and Taylor.
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If he ever says this to you, Taylor, you know what s up?
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You got a smart mouth on you.
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That s a tell.
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Is that the beginning of trouble?
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I think that s a tell.
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Hey, hear my new song.
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Sorry, babe, but that lyric is just stupid.
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That s a tell.
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Yeah.
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There s trouble in River City.
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They turn into a couple from Vanderpump Rules.
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Yes.
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Oh, no.
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You re going to cry again.
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When you hear that, that s a red flag.
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Where were you?
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No, come on, man.
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You re gone for two hours.
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Where were you?
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Red flag.
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Don t.
1
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Okay, do you want to jump in here, David?
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No, I m going to get... I was thinking of something that Taylor will say to him.
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Oh, well, she would be like, his red flags, equal opportunity.
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Football, honestly, boring.
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My last boyfriend, this is Taylor to Travis, my last boyfriend was so cool.
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He was so cute and hot.
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That s it?
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Yeah.
1
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How about, when are you going to quit football and start DJing?
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That s where the money s at.
1
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You want to listen to my new song again?
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You need a makeover.
1
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Your whole look is just, you know, if you love, you change.
1
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Kelsey says, Heather s making notes.
1
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Is it always red lipstick even around the house?
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Or do you think when they go to like, just some casual, they go to Shakey s for pizza, is there always confetti falling on them and they start kissing?
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I feel like that happens everywhere they go, yeah.
1
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Hey, you know one thing about when you go to the Superbowl, it reminded me, it s like, after the Superbowl is like after, in the old days, if you bought a bunch of Coke,
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It s not worth it, because once it s over, you re like, oh, I paid all that money, and it s over that fast.
1
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The worst is if someone asks you for your Super Bowl ticket money after the Super Bowl.
1
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It s like chasing up drug money after you re like, I already did my drugs.
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Now, now I got to pay for them.
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I already did them.
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I mean, I m mad I did it now.
1
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Oh yeah.
1
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You owed me 12 grand for that seat at the Superbowl.
1
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And my team lost.
1
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The best parties are unexpectedly great, but it s like New Year s Eve and the Superbowl, like we re really partying, man.
1
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But you know what, Drake won two and a half million, I think, betting on the Chiefs.
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I have to say, and this is an uninteresting take.
1
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Thanks for the warning.
1
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When rich people like Drake bet a million dollars, I don t care that much.
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I don t care that the guy that has 200 million bets a million, shows off, shows you the ticket.
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And they don t talk about as much when they lose, but when they win, they go, what s up?
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And you re like, it didn t change your life.
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SPEAKER_00
Now, if anyone else did that, it would change their life, but he does it every week.
1
SPEAKER_00
So it s just puffing up that I just don t like he turns into HR puffing stuff.
1
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Well, here s the deal.
1
SPEAKER_02
Can I finish one time?
1
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He, Drake, said at his next concert, and I don t know where it is, but I assume he plays big, big arenas, he s going to find someone somehow in the audience and give them two and a half million dollars.
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I predict that show s gonna sell out.
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I would go.
1
SPEAKER_00
Is that true?
1
SPEAKER_00
That s a great idea.
1
SPEAKER_00
Is that true?
1
SPEAKER_02
That s what he announced.
1
SPEAKER_02
That s what he announced.
1
SPEAKER_02
He just said it in some YouTube video.
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Well, let s go.
1
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What do you mean?
1
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I ve already booked a seat, so I m right up front.
1
SPEAKER_00
Super fly box at the show.
1
SPEAKER_00
We got to get close so we can get the tickets.
1
SPEAKER_00
We got to get way up front.
1
SPEAKER_00
We got to walk down.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yes, we will.
1
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But anyway.
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Oh, I haven t thought on Usher.
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This is a hot take.
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Okay, my friend Usher.
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I met him once at an event.
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It s incredibly nice.
1
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Go ahead.
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I feel like it was a bit of Joe Coy syndrome.
1
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Usher is a great performer.
1
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Joe Coy is a funny comedian.
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But I had heard that three people had passed on that halftime show.
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You know, your Taylors, your Beyonce.
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And so people think they used to not leak ahead, like with the Golden Globes.
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They didn t say who turned it down.
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Now, if you went to see a movie when you were growing up, and it was some actor, and they go, and right before you went in, they go, Robert Redford turned this down, and so did Al Pacino.
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Then you go, oh, so who did they get, this guy?
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And then you go, what was wrong with it to where they didn t do it?
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And so that s kind of like seeing the fourth pick.
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You go, well, I mean, Usher was great, and people love him, and he did a fine job, but I think there s a little bit of that.
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Yeah, and also it, you know, the pressure every year to make the spectacle, you know, just they should have Neil Young next year, just with an acoustic guitar, not even moved, just hunched over.
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Old man, look at my life.
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I m a lot like you.
1
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Get off!
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Fuck you, old man.
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Because Usher works so hard, you know.
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But yeah, we need just Neil Young with an acoustic guitar, center stage.
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They ll lose about 60 million people.
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But for people like my age group, we d be super happy.
1
SPEAKER_00
right and then he brings out like they go crazy because like you know um Roy Orbison walks out with them like hey it s not even alive featuring Roy Orbison I couldn t think of anyone older oh no Graham Nash could come out and they could sing our house and it was like
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Holy fuck, is that Graham Nash or my grandpa s friend?
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They wouldn t know who that is.
1
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Well, yeah, I mean, who would be your pick?
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I know who your pick was years ago.
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And by the way, when I was watching the Super Bowl, this guy is gonna come on, everyone s like lukewarm.
1
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I go, trust me, this is gonna crush.
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And it was a classic rock and roll.
1
SPEAKER_00
Tom Petty?
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Yep.
1
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Tom Petty did the I was right crush.
1
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Yes.
1
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Because people back in the day that you forget how many great songs Tom Petty has.
1
SPEAKER_02
And then he starts.
1
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Well, she is an American girl, right?
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And I m free, free falling.
1
SPEAKER_02
I just I just substitute some kind of voice.
1
SPEAKER_02
You don t do me like that.
1
SPEAKER_00
I love Tom Petty.
1
SPEAKER_00
He s you know, I went to see you two at the Saphir.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
How was that?
1
SPEAKER_00
last week, and what are my thoughts?
1
SPEAKER_00
They show so many things on the wall, all these messages, it s like you might as well be the Manchurian candidate.
1
SPEAKER_00
You re basically getting hypnotized into thinking, you know what I mean, like brainwashed.
1
SPEAKER_00
They could just flicker things on there, because you re staring at it for two to three hours.
1
SPEAKER_02
So just for people who are listening going sphere, tell them what it is.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s, that s the big circle that holds 18,000 in Vegas where they have concerts and the outside can look like an eyeball.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s all made of led screens.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s pretty badass.
1
SPEAKER_00
And you too was playing.
1
SPEAKER_00
And when they say, there s so much going on in there, they say, listen, worst case scenario, you get really bored, you watch the band.
1
SPEAKER_00
And the funny thing is that s, that s what you used to do is just watch the band.
1
SPEAKER_00
But now there s like, oh, there s something over here.
1
SPEAKER_00
They have a giant shark over here.
1
SPEAKER_00
It looks like it s coming at you while they re playing.
1
SPEAKER_00
And we went, we went and we had pretty good seats.
1
SPEAKER_02
Can I ask you a question?
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, because it s this fear and the type of seating in the old days at a big arena, they d say, oh, they re in the nosebleeds.
1
SPEAKER_02
Those seats are so high up.
1
SPEAKER_02
They have bloody noses.
1
SPEAKER_02
And the performer is the size of a speck of dust.
1
SPEAKER_02
Is there any bad seat in this sphere?
1
SPEAKER_00
Not really, because it s like straight up like a wall.
1
SPEAKER_00
They used to say I sat in the rafters.
1
SPEAKER_00
I sat- Right.
1
SPEAKER_00
In the nosebleeds.
1
SPEAKER_02
Nosebleeds.
1
SPEAKER_00
I guess just those two.
1
SPEAKER_02
The cheap seats.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, the cheap seats, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
The cheap seats.
1
SPEAKER_02
I would go to a Giants baseball game for a buck and just sit way out left field, like, you know, couldn t see anything.
1
SPEAKER_02
Well, look, I heard that it s wired for this, but they re afraid to do it.
1
SPEAKER_02
But sometime in the next three months, they re gonna do it.
1
SPEAKER_02
The sphere has the capability, apparently, I heard, to rise up.
1
SPEAKER_02
go into the low suborbital atmosphere and then make a landing back in Vegas.
1
SPEAKER_02
Did you notice the little secret seat belts?
1
SPEAKER_00
No, I m Googling low suborbital.
1
SPEAKER_02
That s where William Shatner went on the guy who s everything about him looks like a dick.
1
SPEAKER_02
You know, Jeff Bezos, the swoosh looks like a dick on Amazon.
1
SPEAKER_02
His spaceship looks like a dick and so does his head.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s a trifecta.
1
SPEAKER_02
He s a human penis.
1
SPEAKER_02
I mean, come on.
1
SPEAKER_02
So with Shatner.
1
SPEAKER_00
The funny thing is dick looks like a crescent wrench.
1
SPEAKER_00
Crazy.
1
SPEAKER_00
It doesn t even make sense.
1
SPEAKER_02
I love it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I want to show you some headlines.
1
SPEAKER_00
Let s show some stories.
1
SPEAKER_00
Let s see.
1
SPEAKER_00
Pull something up.
1
SPEAKER_00
There s two.
1
SPEAKER_00
One of them is this one I thought was kind of funny.
1
SPEAKER_00
Transgender woman sued ex-boyfriend over tossed out balls.
1
SPEAKER_00
So what happened was, what happened to our culture?
1
SPEAKER_02
What happened to America?
1
SPEAKER_00
This is a story you wouldn t hear 10 years ago, but well, what happened was, I can t read it, but what I remember is the person
2
SPEAKER_01
I can read it, sued XBF over tossed out balls, but judge says no case.
2
SPEAKER_02
Right, but the real story, the littler story is like the person that got them chopped off
2
SPEAKER_02
kept them in the fridge and they broke up and the guy threw them out and the other person came back to get the balls and they said, you didn t leave them here.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yes, I did.
2
SPEAKER_02
I know they re by the eggs.
2
SPEAKER_02
Actually, they are the eggs.
2
SPEAKER_02
They might ve got mixed up with the eggs.
2
SPEAKER_01
Um, let me just, so it s a couple, someone gets their balls chopped off and then the couple breaks up.
2
SPEAKER_01
Why would the couple, cause I m a romantic, why would they break up over the, over that?
2
SPEAKER_02
It would cause a rift possibly, maybe not, but that s probably, do you have any other testicle removing articles?
2
SPEAKER_02
I like, I would hide them in the pickle juice.
2
SPEAKER_01
Um,
2
SPEAKER_02
No one s looking there.
2
SPEAKER_01
What s your best balls joke in your standup?
2
SPEAKER_01
Do you have any?
2
SPEAKER_01
Because I don t know kind of thing.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, I had one of my I ll you go ahead now.
2
SPEAKER_01
So my balls joke.
2
SPEAKER_01
What is it?
2
SPEAKER_01
What about that?
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I went to IHOP and I found a pube in my eggs.
2
SPEAKER_02
No, I found a hair in my eggs and it was a pube and it was still attached to the guy s balls.
2
SPEAKER_02
And he didn t work there.
2
SPEAKER_02
And that s what I thought was weird.
2
SPEAKER_02
I go, this guy doesn t even work here.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s good.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s funny.
2
SPEAKER_01
And that s smart.
2
SPEAKER_01
This is me in college doing stand up at a tiny club when I was really scared.
2
SPEAKER_01
Uh, Popeye from the Popeye cartoons gets kicked in the balls.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s killing here.
2
SPEAKER_02
Heather s doing the air part of her laugh and then it comes into noise.
2
SPEAKER_01
She s just, I was like, I could never write material.
2
SPEAKER_01
I would go to toy stores.
2
SPEAKER_01
I would just think of, I couldn t, well, you can write material.
2
SPEAKER_01
I would go to toy stores and buy props and try to make comedy out of that.
2
SPEAKER_01
But Popeye getting kicked in the balls was a show stopper.
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, you know, I do like that one.
2
SPEAKER_02
I think I remember you did it for a little bit in the old days, but you took it out.
2
SPEAKER_02
So there s shit in my act I hate taking out.
2
SPEAKER_02
It just gets too old.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I m like, come on guys.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m so well, it s really to amuse myself.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s more, I want more abstraction.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t want anything, anything that makes any sense.
2
SPEAKER_01
The one that kills the hardest now is goes back 50 years, George Bush senior going off a high dive diving board.
2
SPEAKER_01
It kills.
2
SPEAKER_01
Gotta do it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Gotta do it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Gotta do it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Not gonna do it.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I m walking.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s it.
2
SPEAKER_02
Bedlam.
2
SPEAKER_02
You go pepper in a funny walk.
2
SPEAKER_02
Bedlam.
2
SPEAKER_02
Chaos.
2
SPEAKER_01
People are like... Every time I do this one because of the Super Bowl, I ll do it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Christopher Walken sees an amazing magic trick.
2
SPEAKER_01
Wow!
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, you could have been in that Super Bowl commercial.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Heather could do it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_01
There you go.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
That was pretty good.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s pretty good.
2
SPEAKER_01
Heather.
2
SPEAKER_01
Heather, Heather, Heather hair.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, my.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, here s one more story I m going to show you.
2
SPEAKER_02
No, I don t have it.
2
SPEAKER_02
I just read that in the New York City.
2
SPEAKER_02
The cops aren t allowed to have facial hair again.
2
SPEAKER_02
They used to have that.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t know if Heather knows this.
2
SPEAKER_02
They used to have that forever.
2
SPEAKER_02
the Yankees, the New York City cops.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then they let them have beards and must, I don t know why they did it.
2
SPEAKER_02
And now the cops can t have that.
2
SPEAKER_02
So the only thing these cops really can do now is get beat up.
2
SPEAKER_02
Look at this.
2
SPEAKER_02
I mean, that s, I mean, you need a beard to soften the punch.
2
SPEAKER_02
I mean, all they re doing is getting, look at this, give them something, these poor fucking guys.
2
SPEAKER_01
Every cop had a mustache in the sixties.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s cool.
2
SPEAKER_01
Everybody had a mustache new video reveals bring back some traditions clean slave slave and Clean clean shaven.
2
SPEAKER_02
Mm-hmm.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t like this because first of all, it s so hard to get people to be cops It s so hard to get them
2
SPEAKER_02
The cops get beat up in New York more than anywhere, and then you can t fight back, you can t choke anyone, you can t punch anyone, so you can t do anything.
2
SPEAKER_02
So you re either getting beat up, or you re having someone film it and going, it s bad enough to get beat up, someone s filming going.
2
SPEAKER_02
hey you fucking pussy you re losing it s like well i can t fight back i m i can t shoot i can t fight i just get beat up and then they run away and go fuck you and they go it s like that s 20 times a day
2
SPEAKER_01
What kind of escape from New York, Chris, Kurt, I can t talk now.
2
SPEAKER_01
What kind of escape from New York, Kurt Russell fucking dystopian movie are we living in?
2
SPEAKER_01
It s a commonplace thing.
2
SPEAKER_01
What happened today?
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I saw some cops get beat up.
2
SPEAKER_01
What happened to the people?
2
SPEAKER_01
They ran away.
2
SPEAKER_02
And what happened?
2
SPEAKER_02
They, they don t, then they re not allowed to chase them.
2
SPEAKER_02
And people get, it s just so weird.
2
SPEAKER_02
And you go, when I was a kid, you won t believe this.
2
SPEAKER_02
This is how old I am.
2
SPEAKER_02
We weren t supposed to beat up cops.
2
SPEAKER_02
Now it s like a tick tock challenge, but you know, whatever, what are you going to do now?
2
SPEAKER_02
What I was going to say, I wanted to see your Superbowl commercial.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m jumping around.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, OK, I have a story about me and John Lovett if you want to see it.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I ve been in four Super Bowl commercials.
2
SPEAKER_01
Whoops.
2
SPEAKER_01
How d that get out?
2
SPEAKER_02
Jesus Christ.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, two with Lovett s for American Express back in the and then one with Kevin Nealon, Hans and Franz, and then one with Mike Myers.
2
SPEAKER_01
So, you know, another good friend of mine that s due to do a Super Bowl commercial with me.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, let s do it.
2
SPEAKER_02
I love Super Bowl commercials.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, here s your commercial.
2
SPEAKER_02
So this is while you re on SNL, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
While on SNL and John and I together in an American Express commercial.
2
SPEAKER_00
We are going to the Super Bowl.
2
SPEAKER_00
You get the tickets, the trip s on me.
2
SPEAKER_00
Dana and John were psyched.
2
SPEAKER_00
Dana took the American Express card, but John took that other card.
2
SPEAKER_00
John had trouble at the airport.
2
SPEAKER_00
What?
2
SPEAKER_00
I m over my limit?
2
SPEAKER_00
Sorry.
2
SPEAKER_00
Do you take American Express?
2
SPEAKER_00
Of course!
2
SPEAKER_02
Yes!
2
SPEAKER_02
Yes!
2
Yes!
2
Yes!
2
Yes!
2
Yes!
2
Yes!
2
SPEAKER_02
Funny reaction.
2
SPEAKER_00
Funny reaction, funny sunglasses.
2
SPEAKER_00
John looks kind of cool.
2
SPEAKER_00
John looks great.
2
SPEAKER_00
Pay attention to the Hawaiian shirts.
2
SPEAKER_00
Hawaiian shirts.
2
SPEAKER_00
Look at those guys going in.
2
SPEAKER_00
Look at how stupid that shit is he s wearing.
2
SPEAKER_00
I know.
2
SPEAKER_01
What?
2
SPEAKER_01
It was, John and I came up with the thing during the thing of doing that thing.
2
SPEAKER_01
But the funny part about John and I s relationship, you saw the Hawaiian shirts at the end.
2
SPEAKER_01
They re kind of loose fitting.
2
SPEAKER_01
Mine was sort of yellow, orange.
2
SPEAKER_01
So there was, you know, like big American Express commercial.
2
SPEAKER_01
There was a trailer with, I don t want to exaggerate, I d say a hundred Hawaiian shirts just lined up.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I go in and I grab one and put it on.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m going out in the bleachers where you see the scene at the end.
2
SPEAKER_01
John goes in the trailer, like shark go in the trailer.
2
SPEAKER_01
John goes in the trailer, two minutes, five minutes, 10 minutes, 20.
2
SPEAKER_01
What s going on?
2
SPEAKER_01
He finally comes out, doesn t have a Hawaiian shirt on, walks over to me, points and goes, I d like to wear that one.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I go, John, you re being ridiculous.
2
SPEAKER_02
What a fucking idiot.
2
SPEAKER_01
I go, John, there s a hundred in there.
2
SPEAKER_01
No, it s a two second shot.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s a two second shot.
2
SPEAKER_01
So finally, just because the way John and I will tease each other, I said, John, look, let s be honest.
2
SPEAKER_01
We both know I got the best one.
2
SPEAKER_01
This is the best one by far.
2
SPEAKER_01
I got it first.
2
SPEAKER_01
What can I tell you?
2
SPEAKER_02
I ll be finding the commercial.
2
SPEAKER_02
You won t know.
2
SPEAKER_01
So we got two commercials out of American Express because that that commercial was voted number one that year.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was the first year they had ratings.
2
SPEAKER_02
So maybe that s why- That ad meter thing, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_02
USA Today.
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, that s great.
2
SPEAKER_01
We want to potentially have people send in, we can cut this out.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, no, we can.
2
SPEAKER_02
Impressions.
2
SPEAKER_01
audio or video audio of impressions and we will give you feedback and maybe we ll end up having a little competition as people go forward like you know who can do the best whatever.
2
SPEAKER_02
We ll give you our professional showbiz opinion
3
SPEAKER_00
and they can be bad or we ll just clown on you.
3
SPEAKER_00
You sent it in to superfly at odyssey.com.
3
SPEAKER_00
A-U-D-A-C-Y dot com.
3
SPEAKER_00
And Dana, I ve had a, people Twittered me some red neckies.
3
SPEAKER_00
I have one rack them for you before we start.
3
SPEAKER_00
But it s kind of similar.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, I love Rackham.
3
SPEAKER_01
Rackham, we almost named this podcast Rackham, which was David s notion.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I just still think it s really funny.
3
SPEAKER_01
Do you think you need to explain for... Heather, you understand what Rackham is, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
Everyone knows, right?
3
SPEAKER_00
When you re in pool, and you hit the last ball in, and you walk away and go, rack em.
3
SPEAKER_00
That means you won, and fuck you, and let s play again.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s the ultimate badass move in pool.
3
SPEAKER_00
I can t think of a good joke.
3
SPEAKER_00
I thought of one this weekend because it s the dumbest one.
3
SPEAKER_00
I go...
3
SPEAKER_01
Doesn t matter.
3
SPEAKER_01
As long as you say Rackham, is it going to?
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
Ready?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
Uh, you know, I don t want to say Dana s tight with money, but I asked my pet bird what he thought of Dan and he said, cheap, cheap Rackham.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, it s, it shouldn t be a joke from 25 years ago, but it s good in real life present jokes, but I can t think of one.
3
SPEAKER_00
You had two- Only if I, if only I was a comedian.
3
SPEAKER_00
Cheap, cheap Rackham.
3
SPEAKER_01
You had a good rhythm.
3
SPEAKER_01
You had a, you had a catchphrase with cheap, cheap, and then you had Rackham.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s a double catchphrase.
3
SPEAKER_00
Cheap, cheap s funny because Bird s telling you that he s cheap.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then, and then Rackham, I ran right over with Rackham, but you can, you can stall, but let s get into Red Rednecky.
3
SPEAKER_01
I just want to explain to people, this is, this is just my take on a really bad comedian.
3
SPEAKER_01
And it s also just a story of someone who is,
3
SPEAKER_01
indomitable, like always thinks of the positive.
3
SPEAKER_01
Google.
3
SPEAKER_01
He announces his name before every joke.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m red, red necky, the redneck comedian.
3
SPEAKER_01
I asked my every joke, every joke.
3
SPEAKER_01
Sorry.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s it s it s a I m red, red necky, the redneck comedian.
3
SPEAKER_01
I asked my daddy, what s for dinner?
3
SPEAKER_01
He said shit on a shingle.
3
SPEAKER_01
I said this day keeps getting better and better.
3
SPEAKER_01
Come on, get some.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m red, red necky, the redneck comedian.
3
SPEAKER_01
I met my sister only because mama turned me down.
3
SPEAKER_01
Come on, get some.
3
SPEAKER_01
So it was an insensitive.
3
SPEAKER_00
They re very they re very economical, though.
3
SPEAKER_00
They re not you don t wait too long.
3
SPEAKER_01
No.
3
SPEAKER_01
And it s it s just like I went to the doctor.
3
SPEAKER_01
He said he had to amputate my right foot.
3
SPEAKER_01
I said, can I keep my left foot?
3
SPEAKER_01
He said, sure thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
I said, come on, get some.
3
SPEAKER_00
What?
3
SPEAKER_00
Why don t you get that one?
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, because he s so positive.
3
SPEAKER_01
He just says, come and get some.
3
SPEAKER_01
He thinks, great.
3
SPEAKER_01
I went, I m red, redneck, the redneck comedians.
3
SPEAKER_01
The doctor said he had to remove my right foot.
3
SPEAKER_01
I said, can I keep my left foot?
3
SPEAKER_01
He said, sure thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
I said, come on, get some.
3
SPEAKER_00
I thought the first two were more red, redneck, red, red.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, we like it though.
3
SPEAKER_00
We laughed at it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, here s one that no one ever gets because it s too dry.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m Red Rednecky, the redneck comedian.
3
SPEAKER_01
I just got back from Oozing Saw, Minnesota.
3
SPEAKER_01
Everyone said, how are the folks doing in Oozing Saw?
3
SPEAKER_01
I said, dabbing cotton.
3
SPEAKER_01
Come and get some.
3
SPEAKER_00
Listen, I m gonna come and get some.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m not saying I m not, I m just saying.
3
SPEAKER_01
Heather got it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Do you get it?
3
SPEAKER_00
No, I like the word dabbing cotton.
3
SPEAKER_00
She just likes to hear dabbing cotton, and I just like to hear come and get some.
3
SPEAKER_01
I just got back from oozing soar.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oozing soar is the name of the- Oozing soar.
3
SPEAKER_01
I didn t get that.
3
SPEAKER_01
I have to announce that.
3
SPEAKER_01
I got back from oozing soar, Mississippi.
3
SPEAKER_01
How the folks doing down there?
3
SPEAKER_01
Dabbing cotton, come and get some.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
How about spraying Bactine?
3
SPEAKER_00
Rack them.
3
SPEAKER_01
Let me think of a Rackham joke.
3
SPEAKER_00
Rackham s tough.
3
SPEAKER_00
I like, by the way, I posted an Instagram story this weekend about a fake Super Bowl party I had with 18 people, but it was like the most bleakest party, so I just, did I tell you this?
3
SPEAKER_00
No.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I put a picture of like a cup of salsa
3
SPEAKER_00
and a bag of peanuts and then one Tito s bottle.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I said, let s rage or something.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then people put more like, come and get some.
3
SPEAKER_00
See that?
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
I like that one.
3
SPEAKER_00
Infested, that s not the word.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s infiltrated my stories.
3
SPEAKER_00
How about this?
3
SPEAKER_00
So people are listening to this dog shit podcast.
3
SPEAKER_01
How about this?
3
SPEAKER_01
This guy challenged me to a fight.
3
SPEAKER_01
I went full Paul Newman and Butch Cassidy and Sundance Kid.
3
SPEAKER_01
Come and rack him.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, no.
3
SPEAKER_00
We can t have a collab yet.
3
SPEAKER_00
Come and rack him.
3
SPEAKER_00
No.
3
SPEAKER_00
Come on, man.
3
SPEAKER_00
Come and rack him.
3
SPEAKER_00
They are kind of similar,
3
SPEAKER_00
I like come and get some better, but Rackham needs to be in the right time and place.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s a real good one.
3
SPEAKER_00
Even if it s thrown away.
3
SPEAKER_00
But dude, oh, I have one.
3
SPEAKER_00
Here s a joke.
3
SPEAKER_00
So in a related story, Maestro s coming in.
3
SPEAKER_00
Maestro is an Oscar nominated movie.
3
SPEAKER_00
Bradley Cooper s in, and
3
SPEAKER_00
I m sure it s a perfect, quality, well-done movie, but it looks a little boring.
3
SPEAKER_00
Honestly, I couldn t get through the poster.
3
SPEAKER_00
Honestly, I fell asleep during the billboard.
3
SPEAKER_00
There we go.
3
SPEAKER_00
I said it like that.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s a good chop right there.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, just in case, Bradley, he s brilliant in the movie.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s a...
3
SPEAKER_01
It s quite amazing.
3
SPEAKER_01
The Holdovers, extraordinary.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, the one we had him on, Giamatti.
3
SPEAKER_01
Paul Giamatti is, and the whole movie is just a puddle of tears, grabs you like a 70s movie.
3
SPEAKER_01
Alexander Payne, I think, did Sideways.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you say his name wrong.
3
SPEAKER_00
His name is pronounced G-M-I-S-T-R-O.
3
SPEAKER_00
Did you see the movie Bobby?
3
SPEAKER_00
That was when I saw Margot Robbie first promoting it.
3
SPEAKER_00
They go, tell us about your movie.
3
SPEAKER_00
She goes, it s called Bobby, because that s how everyone from Australia says it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Bobby.
3
SPEAKER_01
At Bobby.
3
SPEAKER_01
Shrimp on the Bobby.
3
SPEAKER_01
Hey, mate.
3
SPEAKER_01
Bobby.
3
SPEAKER_01
All right, what do we do now?
3
SPEAKER_00
That s it.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s a fucking wrap, dude.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s a wrap.
3
SPEAKER_00
You guys, thanks for tuning in.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, we can read these.
3
SPEAKER_00
These are emails.
3
SPEAKER_00
Superfly submissions.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, OK, Rita.
3
SPEAKER_00
OK.
3
SPEAKER_00
Read one of these is Red Rednecky.
3
SPEAKER_01
I went shopping at Walmart for a three-piece suit and came back with three pieces of fruit.
3
SPEAKER_01
Come on, get some.
3
SPEAKER_01
It sounds funny, Johnny.
3
SPEAKER_01
You re getting close.
3
SPEAKER_01
We re going to work on these.
3
SPEAKER_00
It sounds funny because the way you re saying it and when you end it, it doesn t almost matter what the middle part is.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m Red Redneck.
3
SPEAKER_01
He s a redneck comedian.
3
SPEAKER_01
My mom always told me you better get mad before it s too late.
3
SPEAKER_01
Said, what do you mean?
3
SPEAKER_01
She said, never mind.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s already too late.
3
SPEAKER_01
Come on, guys.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, it s just a little few too many words.
3
SPEAKER_01
But you re getting close, Johnny.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is one guy submitting all this horseshit.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, here s one from.
3
SPEAKER_01
Rabin Rabin.
3
SPEAKER_01
Robbie, oh, this is a Johnny.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, sorry, officer.
3
SPEAKER_01
I didn t know I was swerving.
3
SPEAKER_01
I had three Twizley Willy Wonka s at the drunken monks.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, this is Johnny Carson.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Three Twizzly Willy Wonkas at the Drunken Monk.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know what?
3
SPEAKER_00
I think the only problem with that.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think I d go monk would be singular.
3
SPEAKER_01
Go ahead.
3
SPEAKER_00
I think it should be three Twizzly Wizzlies because it should be two and two.
3
SPEAKER_00
Two words and two words.
3
SPEAKER_01
Three Twizzly Wizzlies at the Drunken Monkey.
3
SPEAKER_00
These are viewer submissions?
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
I didn t know we had any.
3
SPEAKER_01
These are great.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m Red Rednecky, the Redneck Comedian.
3
SPEAKER_01
What s the difference between an alley cat and a pole cat?
3
SPEAKER_01
About $20.
3
SPEAKER_01
Come and get some.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, like a stripper?
3
SPEAKER_00
I like that.
3
SPEAKER_01
A pole cat would be the stripper.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s a little dark.
3
SPEAKER_01
Hey, Frank.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s a cat stripper.
3
SPEAKER_01
Mama said, get you a woman that appreciates pest control.
3
SPEAKER_01
On a good day, that s dinner and a show.
3
SPEAKER_01
Come and get some.
3
SPEAKER_01
These are pretty good.
3
SPEAKER_00
Uh, what about, okay, if you have any good of those or any good raccoons, send them in and, uh, we ll wrap up now.
3
SPEAKER_00
Thanks for watching, watching, and also thanks for listening.
3
SPEAKER_00
And, uh, the studio is almost ready, so we re going to be in here.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Bye bye.
3
SPEAKER_00
This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment, Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman.
3
SPEAKER_00
Hope you liked it.