0
SPEAKER_00
Call from Georgia.
0
SPEAKER_01
Hello.
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
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SPEAKER_00
Wait.
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SPEAKER_00
I m sorry.
0
SPEAKER_00
I didn t.
0
SPEAKER_00
OK.
0
SPEAKER_00
OK.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m a little surprised.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m Georgia.
0
SPEAKER_01
Georgia.
0
SPEAKER_01
Very good to be talking to you on the Gecko Show.
0
SPEAKER_01
How s life?
0
SPEAKER_00
It s complicated.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s actually why I called.
0
SPEAKER_00
OK.
0
SPEAKER_01
Tell me what s up.
0
SPEAKER_00
So I I have an older brother.
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SPEAKER_00
Right.
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SPEAKER_00
And he s 23.
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SPEAKER_00
I m 19.
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SPEAKER_00
And I found out that he s been using my toothbrush.
0
SPEAKER_00
Right.
0
SPEAKER_00
But there s more than that.
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SPEAKER_00
And then I go on my work computer and he was buying stuff for like his Xbox and all that.
0
SPEAKER_00
Right.
0
SPEAKER_00
And then I go to school in the day.
0
SPEAKER_00
Right.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I had a dog.
0
SPEAKER_00
I would sleep with my dog, and he came in my room in the middle of the night and was like, I m going to murder you and burn your room down if you sleep with your dog, and I have to walk him while you re at school.
0
SPEAKER_01
Wow, this really escalated fast.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
It just keeps getting bigger, you know what I mean?
0
SPEAKER_01
Does it end there?
0
SPEAKER_00
No, it does not.
0
SPEAKER_00
Alright, I ll let you finish.
0
SPEAKER_00
So, like for example, right, I...
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, I ll have like, I only eat very specific foods, right?
0
SPEAKER_00
And because I don t feel like cooking.
0
SPEAKER_00
And when I come home from school, I just want to make something quickly, eat it, and then go do my homework and go to work, right?
0
SPEAKER_00
And he ll eat it all.
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SPEAKER_00
He ll get really high and eat it all.
0
SPEAKER_00
So I had to start hiding, like all of my food and all my- Hold on, what s your name again?
0
SPEAKER_01
Georgia?
0
SPEAKER_01
Georgia, does it get worse because you, you kind of, this fluctuated because you started with he used your toothbrush, and then you said he threatened to kill you.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then you said it gets worse, but you said, you went, he s, you, okay, you went from he used your toothbrush to he threatened to murder you and your dog to he eats your food.
0
SPEAKER_01
Those, they re one of those things sticks out to me.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
I mean, he just kind of has a habit of taking shit and then murdering me.
0
SPEAKER_00
And then I caught him.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like, so one of my friends, she s a lot younger than me.
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SPEAKER_00
She s like 16 and I caught him like watching her on dress.
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SPEAKER_01
Jesus.
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SPEAKER_00
So yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Like I was kind of, I was building up to that.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, see, I feel like you should have gone toothbrush.
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SPEAKER_01
Eating your food.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then, you know, some, but you could intertwine intertwine that with, um, the murder thing.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Uh, what s the deal?
0
SPEAKER_01
What s I, I, I don t know.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m at a loss.
0
SPEAKER_01
What s the deal with this guy?
0
SPEAKER_00
So he, um, okay.
0
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s not funny, but it, it is.
0
SPEAKER_00
So he is bipolar, right?
0
SPEAKER_00
And he, um, he was sent to the mental hospital because he was like, um, you know, I, I tried to kill myself and he didn t like, I, and I feel shitty saying that I do, but he kind of uses it above our heads as a way to like get out of being held accountable for all of this.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, and I don t, I don t know, like, I really think his, like, mental excuse only goes so far.
0
SPEAKER_00
I just think he s a weirdo.
0
SPEAKER_00
He s not my full, he s my stepbrother.
0
SPEAKER_00
He s not my full, like, brother, but, um, yeah, I don t, I don t know.
0
SPEAKER_00
He just, it, it, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
And you two live in the same house as your, your parents?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
So, we live, oh, I m sorry.
0
SPEAKER_00
No, you go ahead.
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh, well, so we live with his dad and my mom and his dad is really like, he feels really bad about what happened with him.
0
SPEAKER_00
Because he will be like, Oh, I tried to kill myself.
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SPEAKER_00
So what I do doesn t matter.
0
SPEAKER_00
And my mom s not like that.
0
SPEAKER_00
But my mom s a paramedic, right?
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SPEAKER_00
So she s gone for like two, three days at a time.
0
SPEAKER_00
So like, there s really nothing she can do.
0
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
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SPEAKER_00
We both we live with both of our parents, though.
0
SPEAKER_01
And like, what have you what have your parents done to like?
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SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I don t even know what they can do to like, you know, what if?
0
SPEAKER_01
What are their thoughts on on this guy and all of his antics?
0
SPEAKER_00
So my mom is not a fan.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, it s kind of gotten to the point though, where she doesn t want to deal with the arguing anymore.
0
SPEAKER_00
She doesn t want to be in the middle of it all.
0
SPEAKER_00
Because
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SPEAKER_00
I can t straight up confront him.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m a big girl.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m 5 9 .
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SPEAKER_00
I can hold my own.
0
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if the solution is to beat him up.
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t know what that s necessarily going to do productively for the situation.
0
SPEAKER_00
What?
0
SPEAKER_00
No.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m scared he s going to try and get physical with me.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_00
I have to go through my mom.
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SPEAKER_00
if anything happens, right?
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SPEAKER_00
And she ll go to his dad, but his dad won t do anything.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like, it s, it s, and it s just, he s just weird.
0
SPEAKER_00
And he s like, he ll creep on me when I m on the phone and he ll listen to my conversations or like, I ll catch him going through my room and then he ll try and tell me he didn t when he s in my room.
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SPEAKER_00
Like, I just, I don t know what he s doing in here.
0
SPEAKER_00
Wait, hold on real quick.
0
SPEAKER_01
Did you say, did you say rum or room?
0
SPEAKER_01
room Never mind like bedroom And and so I Assume you re living at home because you re going to school and working and just trying to save as much money as you possibly can Yeah But your parents are not gonna do anything about this guy I Mean my mom has tried
0
SPEAKER_00
she ll yell at him and she ll confront him but it only like it only makes it like hot like it only makes it more hostile almost because and they won t talk to me you know what i mean like i ll get like shunned um are you in genuine fear of your safety
0
SPEAKER_00
Uh, no, because he s, he can have, he ll like lash out, but he s kind of a bitch, if you know what I mean.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like he s not, he ll like go in his room and cry if you raise your voice at him.
0
SPEAKER_01
Are you saying, are you saying rum to be funny or is that how you say it?
0
SPEAKER_00
That s how I say it.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m sorry.
0
SPEAKER_00
Is that it?
0
SPEAKER_01
Where are you from?
0
SPEAKER_00
I m from Boston.
0
SPEAKER_01
Is that a Boston thing?
0
SPEAKER_01
It does rum?
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, it might be.
0
SPEAKER_00
Uh, I don t, I don t know.
0
SPEAKER_00
It might just be my accent.
0
SPEAKER_00
I grew up in New Bedford, but I grew up between Boston and Providence.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s the same accent that that girl from Wolf of Wall Street had, right?
0
SPEAKER_01
Or is that New York?
0
SPEAKER_01
They sound very similar.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, New York and Boston are pretty similar.
0
SPEAKER_00
Uh, I don t know if she was from Boston though.
0
SPEAKER_01
Wait, Dan, does this guy have a Boston accent too?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yes, he does.
0
SPEAKER_01
He s a fucking menace.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, all right Here s the thing.
0
SPEAKER_01
I feel like um, first of all eyes first I m sorry though This is happening to you because like, you know when you re 19 like living at home with your parents if you have the opportunity to it rocks It s the best you save money you live life.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s like what you should do in my opinion but if you genuinely you re feeling like unsafe and like you re
0
SPEAKER_01
just in constant fear of this fucking guy.
0
SPEAKER_01
Can you afford to, like, move out and live with a bunch of roommates or something like that?
0
SPEAKER_00
I can, but I probably should have mentioned this earlier.
0
SPEAKER_00
My mom is terminally ill, right?
0
SPEAKER_00
And she s not, like, dying right now.
0
SPEAKER_00
She has a genetic disease.
0
SPEAKER_00
And so she was, for a time period, for like two years, she was, you know, like,
0
SPEAKER_00
if we didn t catch it, and they put her on like some form of chemo to kind of keep it in check.
0
SPEAKER_00
But if they didn t catch it when they did, she would have died.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, but the thing is, is that when all of that was happening, I was the only one taking care of her.
0
SPEAKER_00
So I m scared.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like, I m, I m mainly wanting to stay for my mom.
0
SPEAKER_00
Cuz really we re like we re more like sisters the mother and daughter like we have a really close and good relationship.
0
SPEAKER_00
I love her the best but like it s kind of getting to the point where
1
SPEAKER_00
As soon as I get what I need to get done, I think I m going to leave.
1
SPEAKER_00
And if she gets sick again, I ll come back to take care of her.
1
SPEAKER_00
But I m just worried that, you know, if she doesn t tell me or if she doesn t tell me how bad it is, that she s just going to be, like, left on her own.
1
SPEAKER_00
Because she was, like, fully bedbound, couldn t get up, couldn t go to the kitchen, couldn t get to the bathroom.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I was the only one helping her.
1
SPEAKER_00
And, like, when I was at school or when I had something to do, she wouldn t eat all day.
1
SPEAKER_00
No one would get her a drink.
1
SPEAKER_00
No one would help her to the bathroom.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know, I d be the one to have to do all that.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I m just, I don t want that.
1
SPEAKER_01
Do you think, I mean, I don t know, like you might have to talk to a, uh, you might have to talk to lawyer Gecko here, but like, has this guy done enough shit to you that you, you, you think you get like a restraining order against them?
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, I don t, I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t, I think that would be too much.
1
SPEAKER_00
Cause I don t think he s like, he lives with us cause he, um,
1
SPEAKER_00
He s never really worked.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and I understand why you know I understand why you wouldn t want to do that either because you know you have it Don t let me put words in your mouth But it sounds like you have compassion for him because he s genuinely mentally ill and that might not have anywhere else to go Yeah, like I don t want to put him on like his ass or like I m gonna kick him out and I was about to the point my mom she was ready to leave her husband and
1
SPEAKER_00
Cause she was like, if you leave, I leave.
1
SPEAKER_00
And you know, I don t want it to get to that point.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I don t want her to like put herself in that position.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
1
SPEAKER_00
And like, I don t, I just, I feel bad.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like even with everything he s done and how creepy he has been, you know, like I just, nobody should be living on the streets.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
1
SPEAKER_01
Man, you re like a... You re a grizzled, 55-year-old Boston dad.
1
SPEAKER_01
You re like a grizzled 70-year-old Boston grandfather in a 19-year-old girl s body.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know what?
1
SPEAKER_00
That is actually not the first time I ve heard that.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, good on you.
1
SPEAKER_01
Good on you, Georgia.
1
SPEAKER_01
You re dealing with a...
1
SPEAKER_01
This is a lot of stuff going on.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, a lot of stuff that you re dealing with.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s complicated.
1
SPEAKER_00
And you know, it s just like, it s just because I love my mom so much.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know, like, she s genuinely my best friend.
1
SPEAKER_00
And you know, she was a single mother raising me for a very, very long time.
1
SPEAKER_00
They didn t move in with us until my junior year of high school.
1
SPEAKER_00
So pretty much until I was 17, it was just me and her.
1
SPEAKER_00
And it s mainly that I don t feel right giving her the ultimatum and I don t feel right leaving her.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
1
SPEAKER_01
Hmm, okay, so you re telling me you re dealing with your your your bipolar brother your terminally ill mom And you re going to school and you re working and you re only 19 Mm-hmm
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, listen, Georgia, I don t know if I believe in a god or if I believe in karma or if I even really believe that what you put into the universe comes back at you, but I hope all those fucking things are true because if it does, you deserve an all-expenses-paid trip to the Nickelodeon Hotel in Orlando, Florida.
1
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_01
What are you going to school for?
1
SPEAKER_00
So I m finishing up my diploma.
1
SPEAKER_00
I didn t have a lot of stuff happened and I couldn t finish it at the time.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then after that, I want to go to college for I want to go to film school.
1
SPEAKER_01
Cool.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Georgia, do me a favor.
1
SPEAKER_01
I rarely tell people what to do.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I m sure that s not true.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m sure I tell people what to do all the time.
1
SPEAKER_01
But do me a favor.
1
SPEAKER_01
If you can get a scholarship or like a FAFSA or something, then by all means go and have a great time and like fuck around and make stuff.
1
SPEAKER_01
But please don t go into debt to go to film school.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s a terrible idea.
1
SPEAKER_00
I actually, so where I live, right, I get two years of college for free.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I was going to test the waters and see how I like it.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then go from there.
1
SPEAKER_01
OK, just yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Just because if you re doing because everything you re dealing with right now, if you add like.
1
SPEAKER_01
Tens and tens and tens and tens of thousands of dollars of debt into it, it will suck even harder.
1
SPEAKER_00
I know, like I was just having a conversation, my friend, about this.
1
SPEAKER_00
And she was trying to convince me to go to a private college.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, I, I don t want to put myself in debt.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like, I just feel like that.
1
SPEAKER_01
If you, if you told me you wanted to be like a doctor or a lawyer or something, then go for it.
1
SPEAKER_01
But, um, you know, I mean, you can go to film school on YouTube for free.
1
SPEAKER_01
So, um, make movies please.
1
SPEAKER_01
By all, by, by all means, like, you know, you don t have, you don t even have to wait to go to film school to make movies.
1
SPEAKER_01
You can make movies anytime, anywhere.
1
SPEAKER_01
Um, but, uh, okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
What are you, what are you working as right now?
1
SPEAKER_01
Where do you, where do you go to work?
1
SPEAKER_00
So I work from home, but I work for a EMS billing company.
1
SPEAKER_00
And pretty much whenever you go to the hospital and you take an ambulance, you get a bill for it and or like your insurance does.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I take all your like medical records and I attach them to your file.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I mean, it s a pretty good paying job, you know.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then once I m out of school, I will
1
SPEAKER_00
get a better job in the company and I ll make more money.
1
SPEAKER_00
But I just don t have the time to be working full time right now.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, geez, Georgia, you re you re more of an adult than I am.
1
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
1
SPEAKER_00
I appreciate it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Is there, uh, I guess is there anything else that, um, you wanted to talk about at all in, in, in terms of this entire situation or, or life or anything like that?
1
SPEAKER_01
Or, or if not want it to say to the people of the computer before we go.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, that s up to you.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know, I have other stuff going on in my life with my friends.
1
SPEAKER_00
You want to hear about it?
1
SPEAKER_01
Um, yeah, sure.
1
SPEAKER_01
I ll, I ll, I ll hear what s going on with your friends.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so I ve been friends with the same people since I was little, right.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I personally, I don t date, you know, I just feel like I m not in the emotional state.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I don t have time.
1
SPEAKER_00
But, um, every once in a while, you know, I ll talk to somebody will date, but it s never too serious, right.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I dated this guy, Michael.
1
SPEAKER_00
And we were together for maybe two years, off and on.
1
SPEAKER_00
He was really toxic.
1
SPEAKER_00
To sum it up, the reason we ended up breaking up for real was because I was at my grandfather s funeral, and he s like, where is it I can pull up?
1
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, why?
1
SPEAKER_00
And he s like, so we can hook up, like we can hang out with you.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, no, that s not happening.
1
SPEAKER_00
So he broke up with me, and I was like, good riddance, you know?
1
SPEAKER_00
But then my best friend, Makayla, she dates him and I date my ex.
1
SPEAKER_00
I really don t care.
1
SPEAKER_00
I have no emotional attachment to them, but it was just the ex she decided to date.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was a little upset.
1
SPEAKER_00
I didn t even yell at her, confront her.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m like, why?
1
SPEAKER_00
Like explain, like, why do you want to be with this person?
1
SPEAKER_00
You know, like, you know, he s shitty, you know what he s done.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so you re okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
So you brought you break up with this guy because he asked you if you wanted to fuck him at your grandfather s funeral.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then your friends like, you know what, this guy, he sounds pretty awesome.
1
SPEAKER_01
I think I m gonna get with him.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes, that s exactly how it went.
1
SPEAKER_01
And how s that going for your friends?
1
SPEAKER_00
So he cheated on her and they ended up having to break up, right?
1
SPEAKER_00
But now Mikayla has like a superiority complex and she s rubbing in our other friend s faces that she s had sex with one of our friends.
1
SPEAKER_00
She s really inexperienced and she s just really standoffish, you know what I mean?
1
SPEAKER_00
And it s something that she s insecure about.
1
SPEAKER_00
And she was like, at least I have experience.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I swear to God, the universe, the universe made sure I wasn t there because I would have, I would have popped it.
1
SPEAKER_00
I would have been like, what s wrong with you?
1
SPEAKER_00
And she s like, even though she ll still call me and be like, I miss Michael.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m going to kill myself because I m still in love with him.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m like, I m not the one to call about this.
1
SPEAKER_01
Wait, Michael s, Michael s the guy that wanted to, that tried to booty call you at the funeral?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
deal?
2
SPEAKER_00
And since then, he just kept getting more and more toxic and his own, like, he just, I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_00
He s just a teenage boy.
2
SPEAKER_02
You know what?
2
SPEAKER_02
I m, uh, you know, honestly, Georgia, after everything you ve told me, I think I m just going to blame it on the city of Boston.
2
SPEAKER_02
I think it s just filled with, um, crazy people.
2
SPEAKER_02
It sounds.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, you should like Boston is filled with a bunch of broads who don t know their rights from their last
2
SPEAKER_02
Hey, come see me at arts in the arm.
2
SPEAKER_02
I think, I think it s the name arts and armory in Boston.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m playing there in March.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s going to be sick.
2
SPEAKER_00
Invite Michael.
2
SPEAKER_00
I will try and bring Michael.
2
SPEAKER_00
I will, I ll hit him up and be like, you have to come with me.
2
SPEAKER_02
Um, well, Georgia, Georgia again, uh, dude, you know, it s you versus it s really, it really is just you versus the city of Boston, isn t it?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it is.
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, you re doing a great job.
2
SPEAKER_02
Is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?
2
SPEAKER_00
Good luck, you know, have a great life.
2
SPEAKER_00
I wish you all the best.
2
SPEAKER_02
Hey, take care, Georgia.
2
SPEAKER_00
Thank you, you too.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yo, what if we hooked up in the casket?
2
SPEAKER_02
That d be crazy.
2
SPEAKER_01
Call from Lou.
2
SPEAKER_02
Hello.
2
SPEAKER_01
Hi there.
2
SPEAKER_02
Hey, how s it going?
2
SPEAKER_01
It s good.
2
SPEAKER_01
How are you?
2
SPEAKER_02
I m doing all right.
2
SPEAKER_02
Have we ever spoken before?
2
SPEAKER_01
We have not now.
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, very nice to meet you, Lou.
2
SPEAKER_02
What s going on with you tonight?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I just I just got home from from a work trip.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I m just chilling.
2
SPEAKER_02
How was your work trip?
2
SPEAKER_02
Where did you go?
2
SPEAKER_01
It was good.
2
SPEAKER_01
I went to Kansas City for like our big holiday party.
2
SPEAKER_01
But it was funny because I, not only was it a holiday party, my first holiday party with this company, but like the first time I met everyone on my team and my boss and all my coworkers.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Because you guys are probably all, uh, all zoomies.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
We all work remote.
2
SPEAKER_01
So.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
My, my boss kind of did.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s cool.
2
SPEAKER_02
Did he, um, did, was he weird to anyone?
2
SPEAKER_01
Um, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, like in a funny way, like in a way where like his coworker was a little like, like chill out.
2
SPEAKER_01
This is equal.
2
SPEAKER_01
Um, I live, I live in Denver.
2
SPEAKER_01
So they were like, they were just immediately like, Oh, do you smoke weed?
2
SPEAKER_01
And the other guy looked, he was like, my boss goes, is that inappropriate to ask?
2
SPEAKER_01
And then he looks at her and he s like the other guy, he s like, well, like,
2
SPEAKER_01
Maybe a little bit.
2
SPEAKER_01
She reports into you and I m like, I don t know how to answer this.
2
SPEAKER_02
Hold on.
2
SPEAKER_02
Here s what bothers me.
2
SPEAKER_02
There was alcohol at this party, right?
2
SPEAKER_02
100% that s fucking so I hate how stigmatized weed is it s so fucking weird who gives a shit it s fucking legal you know I think if he asked you if you did coke and if you had any coke right now that he could have that might have been a little inappropriate but I digress do you have coke that you can send me over the mail no do you what do you do for work I work I work in advertising
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay, what should I buy?
2
SPEAKER_02
Advertise me something.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh my gosh, like nothing.
2
SPEAKER_01
We overconsume.
2
SPEAKER_02
I think so too.
2
SPEAKER_02
I think so too.
2
SPEAKER_02
Advertising is weird.
2
SPEAKER_02
Hold on.
2
SPEAKER_02
You know what s going to be so funny?
2
SPEAKER_02
I m about to go on a huge rant about advertising and then right after this call I m going to be doing an ad read.
2
SPEAKER_02
Perfect.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_02
Advertising, it s like... I don t get that.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t understand how it works because like I ve never bought anything I ve seen off... Actually, I don t know if that s necessary.
2
SPEAKER_02
Maybe like one...
2
SPEAKER_02
Maybe there s been like a service, but like ultimately I don t think I ve ever bought anything from an ad.
2
SPEAKER_02
Have you?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, I mean, I definitely like, I definitely bought stuff I don t need, you know, like if it s really good and I like the, the packaging or like the colors they use.
2
SPEAKER_01
Cause like most of advertising is like, what does it make you feel?
2
SPEAKER_01
And like, if you feel like you trust it or like it feels familiar, then you know, you re, you re gonna, you re going to be more likely to buy it, but like,
2
SPEAKER_01
Really what advertising is, is like finding the people who actually need what you have and then making it easier and convincing them that they should buy it.
2
SPEAKER_02
Right, right.
2
SPEAKER_02
But there s some things where it s like, who needs that?
2
SPEAKER_02
Like when I see, like you re on the bus and you see like an ad for like $200 sunglasses.
2
SPEAKER_02
Who fucking needs that?
2
SPEAKER_02
Why do they have an ad for that?
2
SPEAKER_01
No one needs $200 sunglasses.
2
SPEAKER_01
I ve certainly never bought sunglasses that are more than like 20 bucks.
2
SPEAKER_02
I was, uh... Someone asked me the other day what I like to, like, if there s anything I like to splurge on.
2
SPEAKER_02
And, um... I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m not a fashion guy.
2
SPEAKER_02
I wear the same gecko suit every day, and when I m not wearing that, I m wearing, like, a t-shirt that I...
2
SPEAKER_02
got from something.
2
SPEAKER_02
Most of the t-shirts I have in my wardrobe are not things I bought.
2
SPEAKER_02
They re just things that I stumbled upon throughout living my life.
2
SPEAKER_02
And like a pair of jeans.
2
SPEAKER_02
So it s usually just a solid color shirt, a pair of jeans, no jewelry, no ice.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m very lame.
2
SPEAKER_02
So there s no fashion.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t like furniture.
2
SPEAKER_02
My furniture is shitty.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_02
I just want to save.
2
SPEAKER_02
I just want to save so that I don t have to, like, fucking do anything.
2
SPEAKER_02
You know what I mean?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t even know.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, I m not splurging now.
2
SPEAKER_01
The transmission on my car died, so I have to, like, repair that.
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I feel like most of my money would go to, like, going out to eat.
2
SPEAKER_02
Food, that ll be a big slurge, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
But, like, there s no advertisement for that unless you re going to, like, Buffalo Wild Wings or something.
2
SPEAKER_02
Which I am.
2
SPEAKER_02
But you know what?
2
SPEAKER_02
I m gonna do a free ad read for Buffalo Wild Wings.
2
SPEAKER_02
You should go to Buffalo Wild Wings and you should get, you should get some wings, some boneless wings tossed in Old Bay and barbecue.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
What are you getting to drink?
2
SPEAKER_02
What am I getting to drink?
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, what kind of night are we having?
2
SPEAKER_01
It s a Friday night.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s tonight.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s a Friday night.
2
SPEAKER_02
Man, I might get a this is lame, but I might get a milk stout.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m a big I like the dark beers a milk stout interesting
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, um, I mean what yeah like food but here s the thing with food it s like even even like you go to a restaurant and you get a chicken sandwich and it s you know uh uh 45 dollars now so just going just eating food eating food is kind of splurging in a way you could you could save way more money through photosynthesis that s why plants
2
SPEAKER_02
have so much invested in the stock market because they save so much by photosynthesizing that they re able to invest it afterwards and that s how they build wealth.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s true.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s why there s so many rich plans.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, it s funny you say that, because I actually thinking about it, because I was traveling for work, so I got to spend most of my meals and I did splurge.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, well, that s different.
2
SPEAKER_02
If it s on, look, if it s on somebody else s dime, go crazy.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, I got like the nicest stuff.
2
SPEAKER_01
I got it was like barbecue.
2
SPEAKER_01
I got brisket Oh, yeah, like fancy pork brisket, and oh, yeah And just a bunch of like southern style food.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was delicious.
2
SPEAKER_02
What s the other thing I am I ve only flown first-class one time ever in my life, and that was because it was on someone else s dime and
2
SPEAKER_02
But that s a thing where I m like, that, I don t know, I don t get that.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s like, uh, it just increases the price of your trip by like double and it s over once you land.
2
SPEAKER_02
You get, you, you ve gained no anything of any lasting value.
2
SPEAKER_01
Was it worth it?
2
SPEAKER_01
Was it worth flying first class?
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, was it a better experience?
2
SPEAKER_02
I mean, it was a better experience.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s not one that I would have paid for myself.
2
SPEAKER_02
I think, hold on, I m going to give another free advertising shout out right now, just because I ve been wanting to do this.
2
SPEAKER_02
I ve been wanting to reach out to these guys because I would love to do a partnership with them.
2
SPEAKER_02
If they re listening, if anyone s listening, if anyone knows anyone who knows anyone, I am, what s your name again?
2
SPEAKER_01
Lou.
2
SPEAKER_02
Lou, I am the biggest fan of Spirit Airlines.
2
SPEAKER_02
Dude, okay, hold on, dude, alright, Spirit
3
SPEAKER_02
airlines.
3
SPEAKER_02
to travel like that s the like you know that s the thing is people want to travel places they want to go places and do stuff but it s it s expensive and yes you know the the seats are tiny and shitty and bad but like you get the most important part of my air travel experience is to arrive at the place that I wanted to go to and they guarantee that you do that sort of at a at a reasonable price at a competitive price
3
SPEAKER_02
And I respect that about Spirits.
3
SPEAKER_02
Every time I see Spirits slander out there, I m like, you know, you make a plane.
3
SPEAKER_02
You go do it.
3
SPEAKER_02
Because, you know, these guys are doing it for cheap, I think.
3
SPEAKER_02
I like them.
3
SPEAKER_02
I like Ryanair.
3
SPEAKER_02
I like Frontier.
3
SPEAKER_02
All those, like, low-cost airlines.
3
SPEAKER_02
I fuck with them.
3
SPEAKER_02
So look, if you know anyone... Lou, do you know anyone at Spirit Airlines that can give me a sponsorship?
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t, but Spirit, if you re listening, you should totally do some kind of paid partnership with Gex.
3
SPEAKER_02
There s also on Spirit Airlines, they have, and no other airlines, even the fancy airlines, they don t do this.
3
SPEAKER_02
At Spirit Airlines, they have sweet and sour stir fry.
3
SPEAKER_02
You can buy, you can get a cup of noodles, like the shitty, like 6,000 grams of sodium cup of noodles.
3
SPEAKER_02
I went, last time I was on Spirit, I got two of them, they were delicious.
3
SPEAKER_00
Wait, what are those, like 15 bucks, 10 bucks?
3
SPEAKER_02
I think, no, it was super cheap.
3
SPEAKER_02
I think I want, ah, crap.
3
SPEAKER_02
How long, how much was it?
3
SPEAKER_02
It was between, it might ve been $5.
3
SPEAKER_02
No, it was between five and 10.
3
SPEAKER_02
It was very affordable when you, you know, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
When you compare, uh, just general airline food prices.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
I flew, I flew United today and I don t know, I was like kind of surprised cause I was sitting there like, and I had the middle seat too, which is the worst.
3
SPEAKER_00
And it was like a full flight and I m like sitting in my middle seat and I was like, why didn t I just fly like a shittier cheaper airline?
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I wasn t paying for it and the times worked out better for me, but I m like, I was kind of looking around at like the seat width.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m like, there s really like nothing extra about United, but I guess United could be classified, but I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_00
See, this is the thing.
3
SPEAKER_00
Everybody has like, when you talk about advertising, everybody sees these airlines differently, like partially based on experience, but like,
3
SPEAKER_00
Even like regionally, they re different, because United is great out of Denver, but in other parts of the country, it s terrible.
3
SPEAKER_00
People would fly from Tirover, United, just because maybe like the better service out of that city or something like that.
3
SPEAKER_02
Um, somebody in the chat, I know I m not supposed to read chat, but, um, somebody in the chat suggested that I, uh, work with Spirit Airlines to get a gecko-wrapped airplane.
3
SPEAKER_02
A green gecko plane.
3
SPEAKER_02
Let s do it.
3
SPEAKER_02
Come on.
3
SPEAKER_02
It d be, it would... Actually, I don t... Let s do it.
3
SPEAKER_02
Let s do a green gecko therapy, gecko Spirit Airlines plane.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, what if they did, like, one, one gecko seat, like, one green seat in, uh, in first class or something too?
3
SPEAKER_02
The green first class gecko seat, I like that.
3
SPEAKER_02
I like that.
3
SPEAKER_02
They don t have, actually they don t have first class, they just have the big seat.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, that s true.
3
SPEAKER_00
It hasn t been that great in a while.
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, this has been a nice conversation, you know, in consideration of what the podcast normally is.
3
SPEAKER_02
I feel like the podcast, it s compiled of calls from different time periods.
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t know what call is going to be before this or after this, but I feel like, you know, normally we re talking about, you know, people s parents trying to kill them and, you know, crazy stuff.
3
SPEAKER_02
So this was, this was nice.
3
SPEAKER_02
I mean, by the way, Lou, if you have, uh, you said you tried to call a hundred times.
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t know if you have like a, a real thing.
3
SPEAKER_02
Not that, you know, talking about Spirit Airlines, um, a cup of noodle stir fry isn t real, but if you, do you have, do you have a real thing you wanted to talk about before we go?
3
SPEAKER_00
No, like nothing pressing.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, like, you know, typical just bullshit out of everyone s life.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I think this conversation was far more interesting.
3
SPEAKER_02
I think so too.
3
SPEAKER_02
Lou, is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?
3
SPEAKER_00
Just do what feels right with your life.
3
SPEAKER_00
Enjoy it.
3
SPEAKER_00
And don t buy too much shit that you don t need.
3
SPEAKER_02
Except for whatever I m about to talk about in the following ad read that comes after this phone call.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
And as a side note, I do want to say you re Jimmy John.
3
SPEAKER_00
Episode that was fantastic.
3
SPEAKER_00
Thank you Good good.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah for those who don t know I did a I did I did a brand deal with Jimmy John s For their pickle chips where I rolled around as a pickle.
3
SPEAKER_02
It was fun But Anyways, okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
Thanks.
3
SPEAKER_00
Thanks for the chat.
3
SPEAKER_00
Have a nice Friday night and I
3
SPEAKER_00
And yeah, nice chatting.
3
SPEAKER_02
God bless.
3
SPEAKER_02
Take care, Lou.
3
SPEAKER_00
Bye.
3
SPEAKER_02
Come on, Spirit Airlines, get a coupon code.
3
SPEAKER_02
Something.
3
SPEAKER_02
I will get the whole world, I will get the world.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s what I want.
3
SPEAKER_02
I want the world to change its mind about Spirit Airlines.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m just grateful that you can, you know, go from New York to Denver for $40.
3
SPEAKER_02
I mean, you know, you might break a bone getting wedged in between
3
SPEAKER_02
you know, a thousand people on the way, but, but you ll get there.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s, that s, that s what the, that s what the, um, the new tagline of Spirit Airlines should be.
3
SPEAKER_02
You ll get there.
3
SPEAKER_02
You might, uh, there might be some delays.
3
SPEAKER_02
There might be, uh, some cancellations, but you ll get there.
3
SPEAKER_02
Goddammit.
3
SPEAKER_00
Call from Fred.
3
SPEAKER_02
Hello?
3
SPEAKER_00
Hello?
3
SPEAKER_02
Who is this?
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh God.
3
SPEAKER_01
Sorry, this is like a... No, this is Fred.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m... Gosh.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m... Fred?
3
SPEAKER_01
Fred?
3
SPEAKER_01
Fred, stay calm.
3
SPEAKER_01
Fred, stay calm.
3
SPEAKER_01
Stay calm, Fred.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s not Fred.
3
SPEAKER_02
Fred, Fred.
3
SPEAKER_02
Fred, are you there?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_02
Alright, Fred, I need you to do... I need you to do me a favor, Fred.
3
SPEAKER_02
I need you to take me off... No, no, no, no.
3
SPEAKER_01
Red.
3
SPEAKER_01
Red.
3
SPEAKER_02
Red, I need you to... Red, I need you to take me off of the speakerphone.
3
SPEAKER_01
Sorry.
3
SPEAKER_02
Okay, are you there?
3
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_02
Red.
3
SPEAKER_02
How old are you, Red?
3
SPEAKER_01
I m 19.
3
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_02
What s up?
3
SPEAKER_02
You sound- you seem distressed immediately.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, I didn t think you d actually pick up.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I mean, even though I called like a billion times, that s what happens.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, no, that s what happens.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s that s that s typical.
3
SPEAKER_02
Typically, the idea behind the phone is you call and somebody picks up and you talk to them.
3
SPEAKER_02
So we ve we ve done the you calling.
3
SPEAKER_02
We got past that part.
3
SPEAKER_02
We we got past the part where I picked up and now we are in the stage where we talk to one another.
3
SPEAKER_02
And so I ask you, Red.
3
SPEAKER_02
What is it you would like to talk about?
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, when you like, okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
So when you like do something like something like mundane, like a, like a random task or whatever, I know this is like a really, really weird question.
3
SPEAKER_01
Do you like, can you like picture in your head, like what you re doing when you do that?
3
SPEAKER_01
Is it like a thing you obsess over or is it just like, or do you just like do the thing?
3
SPEAKER_01
So like, if I were to take a drink of like water and I like
3
SPEAKER_01
drink the water, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
I m sorry, this is like a really weird question.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no, I m with you.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m with you.
3
SPEAKER_01
Keep going.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s like when you do like a mundane task, do you actually picture yourself like doing that in your head as you do it?
3
SPEAKER_01
Or is it just like subconscious?
3
Hmm.
3
Hmm.
3
SPEAKER_02
I think... Well, it depends.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like, um... Like, today... I m living out of an Airbnb right now, and I took my clothes out of my backpack.
3
SPEAKER_02
Normally, I will just live out of a backpack or out of a suitcase, but today I made an intentional decision to take my clothes and put them in a dresser in the Airbnb.
3
SPEAKER_02
And that that was something I thought about and then did Whereas like drinking whereas but that s because I don t do it very often so I had to make the Decision where it s something like drinking water.
3
SPEAKER_02
I just do it.
3
SPEAKER_02
You know I don t I don t think about it You know so it depends on what the task is sometimes I ll think about a thing and do it and the other times I ll just You know it s it s it s habitual its nature.
3
SPEAKER_02
Do you have do you have like a weird out-of-body experience where you?
4
SPEAKER_00
Fold laundry and while you re folding laundry, you re thinking about yourself folding laundry?
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, it s more dissociative.
4
SPEAKER_01
This is a, oh my God, I literally cannot speak.
4
SPEAKER_01
More dissociative.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I have a more like pressing question, but like a little bit worried to like talk about it, being honest.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t think there s anything more pressing than whatever we were just talking about, but, um, well, okay, before you bring up this thing, what, uh, is there a reason in particular why you, you might not want to talk about it before we talk about it?
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, gosh, I need to stop saying that that s corny as fuck.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m sorry.
4
SPEAKER_00
Don t, don t, don t, don t think about it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, it s sort of personal, but I guess that s the point of, uh, this stream.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, look, man, not necessarily you.
4
SPEAKER_00
If, if, if you, if you heard other people talk about personal things on the podcast and you re like, Oh, that sounds like something I might want to do.
4
SPEAKER_00
And you re here now and you want to talk about it.
4
SPEAKER_00
You can, but if you want to keep talking about drinking water while thinking about drinking water, we can do that too.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s up to you.
4
SPEAKER_00
Um,
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, I guess I wanted, okay, well, I kind of wanted to ask that sort of question because like, um, I guess I just, you know, I mean,
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s right.
4
SPEAKER_01
Take a big sip of water.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, sorry.
4
SPEAKER_00
I guess, like, every action I do and stuff, I, you know, like... I m not sure what you just said, but I think you are attempting to communicate that you overthink everything that you do and say.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, pretty much.
4
SPEAKER_01
I guess that s the point.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um... So... I hate being seen as a guy, and I hate feeling as a guy, and I hate doing everything, and feeling like one, and being seen as one.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I just feel like one, and I act like one, and I hate all of it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like any simple action I do, I just see a guy and I don t like it.
4
SPEAKER_01
And...
4
SPEAKER_01
it s a little frustrating because like, for a while, I thought, you know, I guess I have brands or something.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so I started, you know, HRT and stuff.
4
SPEAKER_01
And like, it s weird, because I m falling back into this thing where like, where like, I m feeling like a guy again, but like, it doesn t feel good, right?
4
SPEAKER_01
It doesn t feel good thinking about it.
4
SPEAKER_01
So like, even if it was true, it s like, I just,
4
SPEAKER_01
It s just weird.
4
SPEAKER_00
So you do not wish to be a man, but whenever you are doing a mundane task, you envision yourself as a man doing it, and that makes you feel bad.
4
SPEAKER_01
Pretty much.
4
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It s like, it s just frustrating.
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It s like, can you like, like, I feel like it, but I just, I hate it so much.
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SPEAKER_01
I m sorry.
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This is like, it s just like, it s like, I keep considering stopping, but every time I do stopping, stopping your, your homework, your hormone therapy.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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But whenever I do think about it, like, I just don t know what to do.
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Cause like, I feel in a weird spot because like, I can t really go back cause it doesn t,
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The idea of going back just sounds bad, but like... I mean, it was.
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SPEAKER_00
But, to be honest, like, it was informed consent.
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I kinda just, like, you know...
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SPEAKER_00
You said it was informed consent?
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SPEAKER_00
Pretty much.
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SPEAKER_00
So listen, I mean, Red, I feel like if you re having, if you re having a, let me ask you this, is all this stuff, have you talked to your doctor about it?
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And if you have, what have they told you?
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But it s like, I don t know.
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I mean, I ve talked to my therapist about this stuff and it s like, I don t know.
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SPEAKER_01
I just kind of wanted to get like some outside opinion.
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SPEAKER_01
or an outside, not opinion, but like, you know, an outside kind of view.
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SPEAKER_00
Well, well, well, tell me, well, tell me first.
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SPEAKER_00
I mean, when you talk to your doctor, your therapist, what, what did they tell you?
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SPEAKER_01
Um, so I mean, I, I brought up like OCD and stuff because I do have that.
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And, uh, I do fixate on things and I do fixate on other things.
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So like, I just feel really weird and conflicted because I feel bad about things.
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And I also feel good about things that I like, but like,
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It s just, I just feel stuck in limbo.
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I don t know what the, I don t know.
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I know like, but it s like such a weird thought, right?
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I keep like, I give myself permission.
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SPEAKER_01
It s like, you know, if you ended up being like a guy or whatever, that s fine.
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SPEAKER_01
You know, I give myself that permission and then,
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SPEAKER_00
Well, look, I mean, I ll say a few things if you if you wanted my perspective, I think.
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SPEAKER_00
Well, first of all, well, I mean, what did you what still my question remains, what did your therapist and doctor tell you?
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In regards to like being stuck in limbo.
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SPEAKER_00
Yes.
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SPEAKER_01
Um, I don t actually remember the specifics, if we re being honest.
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SPEAKER_00
Um, I really probably shouldn t.
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SPEAKER_00
Do you remember any crumb of anything helpful that they told you?
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SPEAKER_01
Um, I could try, but like, I guess my thoughts are kind of all over the place, but... Okay.
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SPEAKER_01
If I remember, it s like... The idea... Sorry.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t mean to butt in.
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SPEAKER_01
I know this is like a very bizarre, like situation.
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SPEAKER_01
I love it, but sorry.
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SPEAKER_01
I mean, it s like, it s stupid, right?
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SPEAKER_01
I, I give myself permission.
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SPEAKER_01
I m like, okay, okay.
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SPEAKER_01
Um, it s fine if you stop, you know, and just go back to being like, just a guy or whatever.
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SPEAKER_01
Right.
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SPEAKER_01
But then I imagined myself doing that and I just like, I can t bring myself to do it.
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SPEAKER_01
Well, I...
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SPEAKER_00
So probably someone deluded, I guess, but so red.
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SPEAKER_00
So well.
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Red, OK, I m going to tell you, I mean, just from talking, I mean, beyond anything, and I have no business telling you anything about, you know, what hormones to take or not take.
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SPEAKER_00
I mean, that s that s totally beyond me.
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SPEAKER_00
But like.
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beyond any of that red like just and beyond anything that even has anything to do with with transitioning or gender it s like it just sounds to me and this is my armchair therapy observation is that you sound like you re just being
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SPEAKER_00
And I don t know where it comes from or anything, and I do it too, and we all can do it a lot of times.
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SPEAKER_00
But it sounds like you re being just super hard on yourself for no reason.
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SPEAKER_00
Even just now, you just said a whole bunch of things, just kind of beating yourself up.
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SPEAKER_00
So give yourself a little bit of credit, because these issues that you re dealing with, they re very difficult issues to be dealing with.
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SPEAKER_00
Um, you didn t, you didn t choose them, you know, but you, you, there are, there are things that you have to deal with and they re tough fucking things to deal with.
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SPEAKER_00
So, you know, give yourself like a little bit of credit instead of thinking that you suck.
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SPEAKER_00
That s one.
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SPEAKER_00
And then two is, um, it sounds to me another thing that I do in my personal life all the time.
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SPEAKER_00
It sounds like you re overthinking a lot of shit.
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SPEAKER_00
And, you know, I don t know what the cure is for that, but... You know, I... Sometimes that can be more detrimental than not, and you can end up...
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complicating things that are actually simple.
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SPEAKER_01
So again, those are the overthinking and the beating yourself up.
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SPEAKER_01
Those are those I, those are two just things that I would be cognizant of to, you know,
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think about and work on and they re too they have nothing to do with whether or not you Take hormones or how you identify or anything like that?
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SPEAKER_01
So I mean just those two things in particular and then I don t know.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t know as far as like The other stuff I Well, I don t know have you well, let me ask you first how do you how do you feel inside I
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hard to say.
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Um, I mean, I don t really, I want to say like, I don t really feel like too much of anything.
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SPEAKER_02
I mean, but then again, I keep having those thoughts where like, you know, I m doing something and I just feel like a guy.
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SPEAKER_02
I just don t, I don t like it, but it s like,
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SPEAKER_02
That s why I consider stopping.
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SPEAKER_01
I feel like that, but that just feels like a weird conclusion that I might- So, I m confused.
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SPEAKER_01
Are these hormones that give you testosterone?
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SPEAKER_02
No, no.
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SPEAKER_02
It s estrogen.
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SPEAKER_01
It s estrogen.
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SPEAKER_02
Mm-hmm.
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SPEAKER_01
Okay.
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SPEAKER_01
And so you have this feeling that the hormones aren t working and that s making you want to stop?
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SPEAKER_02
I don t think, no, they re working.
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SPEAKER_02
I mean, I was, you know, like, I mean, I felt pretty good on them, you know, even like at the start, but like, I mean, I just had this thought that like, where I was like, you know, thinking about like, what if I m just like, what if I m just like, like, um, I don t know.
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SPEAKER_02
I think I, I took an edible.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I know.
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SPEAKER_00
This is like really random.
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SPEAKER_00
I m sorry.
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SPEAKER_01
This is really random.
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SPEAKER_01
I took an edible.
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SPEAKER_01
I took an edible randomly.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you should have mentioned that at the beginning.
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SPEAKER_01
Alright, it s all good.
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SPEAKER_02
No, this is different.
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SPEAKER_02
This is different.
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SPEAKER_02
I m sorry.
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SPEAKER_02
Don t be sorry for him.
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SPEAKER_01
Wait, so you re very high on an edible right now?
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SPEAKER_01
No, no, no.
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SPEAKER_01
Not right now.
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SPEAKER_01
Do I sound like I am?
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SPEAKER_01
No, you just- See, I- I- I- I- I wish- I mean, there s nothing- I can t worm into your brain and make you not overthink things.
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SPEAKER_01
And I m not a real therapist, so I don t- I don t- I m not a- I don t know what one says to another to make them stop overthinking, but um...
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SPEAKER_01
I mean, shit, shit, Red, why don t you, why don t you look into, go on Google and search for strategies to stop overthinking or mindfulness or something, because to me, like, and really, Red, I think, I think, like, the stuff with the hormones, I mean, you should totally just
5
SPEAKER_01
go talk to your doctor and be open and honest with them about that, you know, whatever your feelings are about it and heed their advice because they re medical professionals.
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SPEAKER_01
And, you know, we re, we re both pretty much geckos who don t know anything.
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SPEAKER_02
So yeah, I would do that.
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SPEAKER_02
I mean, I was gonna take, well, this is kind of an asshole thing to say, actually say it.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t care.
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SPEAKER_02
I kind of like, well,
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SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
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SPEAKER_02
I mean, I don t know.
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SPEAKER_02
I could talk to a therapist all day, but like, you know, I feel like getting an outside perspective can be helpful at times, you know, talking to these people.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t, I don t think that was an asshole thing to say at all.
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SPEAKER_02
Um, sorry.
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SPEAKER_02
I was going to say something along the lines of like, you know,
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SPEAKER_02
like, this is like, you know, entertainment and all that, you know, I take it somewhat with a grain of salt.
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SPEAKER_02
But, you know, when I was calling in, I didn t really want a grain of salt, you know, I wanted an outside perspective.
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SPEAKER_02
And that s what I m getting.
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SPEAKER_02
And so that s more than a grain of salt.
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SPEAKER_02
It s like a, like a glass of pain.
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SPEAKER_01
Good.
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SPEAKER_01
Well, you know, again, if you re asking me from an outside perspective, I think I think it s just a matter of overthink of, you know, trying to control your overthinking and trying to not beat yourself up so much.
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SPEAKER_01
Which, by the way, if you figure out how to do that, please come back and let me know.
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SPEAKER_02
I will.
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SPEAKER_02
I mean, like, yeah.
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SPEAKER_02
Sorry, this is like really weird.
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SPEAKER_02
I ve never done something like this before.
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SPEAKER_01
Right, you ain t got nothing to apologize for.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_02
Um, I mean, okay, before I go, I have a quick question.
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SPEAKER_01
Of course.
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SPEAKER_02
I know you re like green and everything, but like, what s your actual, what s like your favorite color?
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SPEAKER_01
You want to know something crazy?
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SPEAKER_01
Since I was a kid, or at least when I was a kid, my favorite color was green.
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SPEAKER_01
Now it s probably black.
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SPEAKER_01
When I m a gecko, I m all green.
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SPEAKER_01
And when I m a civilian, I m all dressed in black.
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SPEAKER_01
So black or green, I would say.
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SPEAKER_01
Combine them both and you get bleen.
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SPEAKER_01
So I would say bleen is my favorite color.
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SPEAKER_02
That s a good color.
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SPEAKER_01
Red, is there anything else?
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SPEAKER_01
Go ahead.
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SPEAKER_01
To the Bleen Gecko?
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SPEAKER_02
Mm-hmm, Bleen Gecko.
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SPEAKER_01
I ll think about that.
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SPEAKER_01
I like that.
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SPEAKER_01
All right.
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SPEAKER_01
The Bleen Gecko.
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SPEAKER_01
The Bleen Blecko.
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SPEAKER_01
That ll sound like I m a blood.
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SPEAKER_02
All right, well, I mean, I m looking at chat now.
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SPEAKER_02
This is, oh, wow.
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SPEAKER_02
Um, but thanks, uh, for, uh, you know, talking.
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SPEAKER_02
I appreciate it.
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SPEAKER_02
It s not a lot of people that actually, you know, talk.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
Thanks for calling and, uh, good, good luck, Red.
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SPEAKER_01
I hope you figure it out.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_02
Uh, have a good day.
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SPEAKER_02
Appreciate it.
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SPEAKER_01
Take care of dog.
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SPEAKER_02
All right.
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SPEAKER_02
Take care.
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SPEAKER_01
I like red I hope right I don t you know what is the you know man there was a point in that call and it was when I told red what is red told me they were taking an edible where we just laughed and then for about
5
SPEAKER_01
20 seconds afterwards, Red, I could tell they were feeling comfortable talking.
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SPEAKER_01
And then they tensed up again a little bit.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t know why.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t know what it is.
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SPEAKER_01
So, whatever.
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SPEAKER_01
I guess I know that there s something within Red that is confident and feels okay with, you know, saying stuff without having to overthink it all the time.
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SPEAKER_01
um like i was saying on the call i do that all the time i m i myself uh uh you know have low self-esteem and in many moments and overthink things all the time um so i don t it s hard to talk to other people who do the same thing because i don t have a uh
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SPEAKER_01
You know, I can only offer commiseration as opposed to a solution.
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SPEAKER_01
But like I said, Red, if you come up with one, you let me know.
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SPEAKER_01
If you find a good article on what tea leaves to shove up your ass so that you don t think you sound stupid in a conversation you had four months ago, you let me know.
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SPEAKER_00
Taking your phone calls every night.
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SPEAKER_00
Therapy kid goes doing it right.
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SPEAKER_00
He s teaching you how to live your life.
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SPEAKER_00
But he s not really an expert.