0
SPEAKER_00
Yo.
0
SPEAKER_00
Hello?
0
SPEAKER_01
What s up?
0
SPEAKER_00
Is this- is this Lyle?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, who s this?
0
SPEAKER_00
Uh, this is Holdie.
0
SPEAKER_00
What s up, man?
0
SPEAKER_01
This is Holden?
0
SPEAKER_01
Holdie.
0
SPEAKER_01
Holy?
0
SPEAKER_01
H-O-L-D-Y.
0
SPEAKER_00
H-O-L-D-Y.
0
SPEAKER_00
H-O-L-D-Y.
0
SPEAKER_00
H-O-L-D-Y.
0
SPEAKER_00
H-O-L-D-Y.
0
SPEAKER_00
H-O-L-D-Y.
0
SPEAKER_01
H-O-L-D-Y.
0
SPEAKER_01
H-O-L-D-Y.
0
SPEAKER_01
H-O-L-D-Y.
0
SPEAKER_01
H-O-L-D-Y.
0
SPEAKER_01
H-O-L-D-Y.
0
SPEAKER_01
H-O-L-D-Y.
0
SPEAKER_00
H-O-L-D-Y.
0
SPEAKER_00
H-O-L-D-Y.
0
SPEAKER_01
H-O-L-D-Y.
0
SPEAKER_01
H-O-L-D-Y.
0
SPEAKER_01
H-O-L-D-Y.
0
SPEAKER_01
H-O-L-D-Y
0
SPEAKER_00
How s your night going man?
0
SPEAKER_01
It s going all right, but hey who gives a fuck about me holdy.
0
SPEAKER_01
What s going on?
0
SPEAKER_01
How can I get you today?
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, dude.
0
SPEAKER_00
I think I I think I texted you earlier about my issue that I got going on so I mean You can talk about that.
0
SPEAKER_00
I guess
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, sure let s do that Tell me the issue.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so basically back in January I figured out that my my girlfriend at the time Long story short we just had a baby and It was his birthday coming up and right around that time.
0
SPEAKER_00
I started figuring out that she was cheating on me and
0
SPEAKER_00
come to find out I figure everything out the night before his uh birthday party and uh yeah so I figured out she cheated on me and then we broke up and then yeah so like a month later she says that she s pregnant and I m like okay well it s gotta be gotta be the guy that she cheated on me with you know and I was like like I was I was even doubting that she was even pregnant you know what I mean so
0
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
0
SPEAKER_00
And then, uh, yeah, we did a DNA test and yeah, basically we re waiting the results right now.
0
SPEAKER_00
So it s kind of a crazy situation, I guess.
0
SPEAKER_01
All right.
0
SPEAKER_01
So you and this woman have a kid together.
0
SPEAKER_01
And you found out she was cheating on you a year after the kid was born.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then you found out she was pregnant with another kid.
0
SPEAKER_01
And now you re wondering if this second kid is yours or the guy.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, man, it s like a tough situation.
0
SPEAKER_00
And the crazier part about it is in the time that me and her broke up, I actually met this other girl.
0
SPEAKER_00
And like,
0
SPEAKER_00
She kind of hit me with the news that she was pregnant while I ve been with this other girl.
0
SPEAKER_00
So that s kind of complicated already.
0
SPEAKER_01
I was literally about to say, please don t tell me you got this girl pregnant too.
0
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no, no, no, no.
0
SPEAKER_00
This girl, this girl s not pregnant.
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh, she s not.
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
0
SPEAKER_01
All right.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_01
You confused me there for a second.
0
SPEAKER_01
Cause I thought, I thought you broke up with this girl that was cheating on you and then you started dating a new girl and now that girl was pregnant.
0
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no.
0
SPEAKER_00
That girl s not.
0
SPEAKER_00
I was just bringing her up.
0
SPEAKER_01
You can only handle so many pregnancies at once.
0
SPEAKER_00
Right, right, right.
0
SPEAKER_00
I wouldn t want to take on more than one.
0
SPEAKER_01
All right.
0
SPEAKER_01
So, um, all right.
0
SPEAKER_01
So you re dating a new girl now after this, you found out the other one was cheating on you.
0
SPEAKER_00
Correct.
0
SPEAKER_00
Correct.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_01
And now you re wondering if this kid who your ex wife, girlfriend.
0
SPEAKER_00
Uh, girlfriend.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Girlfriend.
0
SPEAKER_01
All right.
0
SPEAKER_01
And now you re wondering if this, this kid who your ex girlfriend has is your kid or not.
0
SPEAKER_00
Right.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s like, when do you, when do you, when do you get the results of the DNA test?
0
SPEAKER_00
Uh, it should be soon.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like, I m not exactly sure when, but it should be within the next couple of months.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like, it s like this whole process, like, cause she s not even, I don t even know if she s that far along yet.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like, I don t even, it s like this whole thing.
0
SPEAKER_00
So I don t even know, man.
0
SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, well, I have, I have two questions.
0
SPEAKER_01
What are you going to do?
0
SPEAKER_01
What are you going to, what are you going to do if it is your kid?
0
SPEAKER_01
And what are you going to do if it s not?
0
SPEAKER_00
Uh, well, obviously if it is my kid, I m going to, I m going to take care of it.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like my, our other kid that we have, but it s just going to be a complicated situation between me and her.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s like she cheated on me and everything.
0
SPEAKER_00
But then if it s not my kid,
0
SPEAKER_00
I don t even know like that s like that s the part where I m like, I don t even know how to handle the whole the whole situation Well, I mean shit if it s not your kid then I Guess just move on, right?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah Yeah, I mean you already I mean look you already share custody of one with the do you guys have like a whole like agreement?
0
SPEAKER_01
Did you did you was it a was it an issue when you broke up with this girl was an issue fighting for custody?
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh
0
SPEAKER_00
Uh, so yeah, we haven t even had any issues with that at all.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like we didn t go to court or anything like that.
0
SPEAKER_00
We were just like dating basically for the whole time we were together and we had the kid.
0
SPEAKER_00
And yeah, I mean, we see him like three, four days a week, something like that.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s not too bad, but yeah, I don t know.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s just,
0
SPEAKER_00
The whole situation, I guess, is just like, I didn t even see it coming, obviously, but it s just crazy to me.
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, how do you feel about the whole thing?
0
SPEAKER_01
Because that s rough, but I mean, just from talking to you and hearing your tone of voice, you seem like you re, I m not over it, but like, you know, handling it well.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I mean, like I said, the whole thing, the whole breakup situation happened back
0
SPEAKER_00
in January, and then I didn t figure out she was pregnant until like a few months later.
0
SPEAKER_00
So yeah, I mean, it s like, she s supposed to have the baby soon.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m not exactly sure the exact due date and everything.
0
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, between that time, I m supposed to figure out if it s mine or not.
0
SPEAKER_01
And that s the stressful part.
0
SPEAKER_01
Was it tough when you first became a father?
0
SPEAKER_01
Because you re young.
0
SPEAKER_01
It says here that you re 24.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, man.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I had him at, uh, 22, I guess, or 23, 22, 22.
0
SPEAKER_00
Cause he s about to be soon.
0
SPEAKER_00
Uh, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
I mean, we had an apartment at the time and then right before he was born, we kind of moved out, moved back into my mom s house.
0
SPEAKER_00
We re saving up.
0
SPEAKER_00
We were saving up money to move into a house and then, yeah, she s cheating on me.
0
SPEAKER_00
So I m kind of stuck in my mom s house right now because
0
SPEAKER_00
Housing market s pretty bad also, so that s another thing.
0
SPEAKER_01
You guys didn t combine your finances, did you?
0
SPEAKER_00
Luckily, no, because we weren t married, so I kind of kept that separate.
0
SPEAKER_00
Good, good.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Having a joint account and dealing with all that.
0
SPEAKER_01
How are things going with the new girl?
0
SPEAKER_00
Uh, yeah, I don t know.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s, it s like, uh, I feel like, I feel like we re, we have, we have a good relationship, but it s nothing like serious.
0
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
0
SPEAKER_00
Cause she knows about my kid right now.
0
SPEAKER_00
And then she found out that I could potentially be having another kid.
0
SPEAKER_00
So it kind of complicated the, uh, the whole relationship.
0
SPEAKER_00
So that s another thing that I m kind of dealing with.
0
SPEAKER_00
So I don t even know if this relationship itself is going to last, but I m hoping for the best.
0
SPEAKER_00
Bro, what s up with you?
0
SPEAKER_01
You re like, you re like, uh, look, here s the thing.
0
SPEAKER_01
If I were you, if I were in your situation, I mean, I would be, I wouldn t be able to handle it.
0
SPEAKER_01
I would crack.
0
SPEAKER_01
And you re over here.
0
SPEAKER_01
You seem, you know, like you re full of sunshine.
0
SPEAKER_01
What s up?
0
SPEAKER_01
Why?
0
SPEAKER_01
How are you?
0
SPEAKER_01
So what s going on?
0
SPEAKER_01
What s what chemicals are in your brain right now?
0
SPEAKER_00
Well, I ll be honest.
0
SPEAKER_00
I have been smoking a little tonight, but I usually just keep a positive mind about everything, like as much as I can, but I don t know.
0
SPEAKER_00
I also have like, you know, bad days just like everybody else, but I don t know, man.
0
SPEAKER_00
I feel like even just talking to you about it just kind of, I don t know, brought out the
0
SPEAKER_00
I don t know, the good vibes of the whole situation, because you can think of it in a bad way and a good way also, but I don t know.
0
SPEAKER_00
I try to find the good in everything.
0
SPEAKER_01
How do you stay positive, just in general?
0
SPEAKER_00
A lot of weed, I ll say that.
0
SPEAKER_00
But also, just like in any situation, I would say just trying to find the good in it no matter what, because
0
SPEAKER_00
It comes down to it if you get mad at the.
1
SPEAKER_01
Mm-hmm.
1
SPEAKER_01
Mm-hmm.
1
SPEAKER_01
Mm.
1
SPEAKER_02
Tell me about your life outside of this, if you have a second.
1
SPEAKER_02
Do you have a job?
1
SPEAKER_02
Do you have hobbies?
1
SPEAKER_02
What do you do when you re not in an episode of Jerry Springer?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, man, I deliver for Amazon right now, and I actually listen to a lot of you while I m fucking delivering, but... Yeah, I mean, hobbies?
1
SPEAKER_01
I go to a lot of concerts.
1
SPEAKER_01
Uh...
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_01
I go thrifting a lot.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s fun.
1
SPEAKER_02
Do you and your kid do anything together?
1
SPEAKER_02
Do you guys, do you take a stroller through the park or anything like that?
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
I live, uh, I live kind of in the woods, so like we d be doing nature walks here and there.
1
SPEAKER_01
I take him to like the river and stuff and just like parks and whatnot.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s pretty fun, but.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I take him to the mall sometimes, too.
1
SPEAKER_01
He just learned to walk, so he s been walking around little stores and stuff.
1
SPEAKER_02
You know, how is it, um... How was it, like, that first year with your ex?
1
SPEAKER_02
Like, is it... Is it harder now that you re sort of, like, doing it on your own?
1
SPEAKER_02
Um...
1
SPEAKER_01
So, yeah, I mean, I do live with, like I said, I live with my mom, so I do have a little bit of help from her, but I will say, yeah, it definitely was a big change, because before, we were kind of both, like, you know, co-parenting like you re supposed to, but I don t know, now, like, whenever I just have him just me, like, I had to learn, like, a lot of different things that, like, I didn t do before that she did, you know what I mean?
1
SPEAKER_01
It s just, like, I feel like I ve started to get the hang of it, but, because he s so young, but, like,
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, man, it definitely was a challenge because like I said, I live with my parents and I m pretty young and I m saving up to get a house and everything too.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s just all around a big struggle, but I m trying.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m trying.
1
SPEAKER_02
What s your dream in life?
1
SPEAKER_01
Dream in life?
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if I ve ever been asked that, but I guess.
1
SPEAKER_01
I guess just to own a business and be financially free and just be able to buy whatever I want and not worry about money and just live free, I guess.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s a dream.
1
SPEAKER_01
What kind of business would you want to run?
1
SPEAKER_01
Something that I enjoy doing, but that s the problem that I don t know what it would be exactly.
1
SPEAKER_01
But your job is pretty cool.
1
SPEAKER_01
Wish I could do something like that, but I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_01
I guess I just gotta find what I want to do.
1
SPEAKER_01
Cause I don t, I don t, obviously don t want to deliver for, for Amazon forever.
1
SPEAKER_02
Well, I gotta tell you, and it s funny you say that my job is cool because, you know, I have been struggling a lot these past week with, you know, just kind of struggling in general with like trying to be happy where I m at, you know, it always feels like something s missing or needs to be put in place first for me to do that.
1
SPEAKER_02
And I don t know, man, listening to you, and this actually happens a lot of times when I m
1
SPEAKER_02
talking to people on the phone and kind of getting out of my own head and, you know, hearing people in other situations and what their moods and attitudes are surrounding it.
1
SPEAKER_02
You seem like just a generally happy guy.
1
SPEAKER_02
You seem like you re not waiting for, like I get into this trap where I m waiting for everything to be perfect, to be happy.
1
SPEAKER_02
You know, I think a lot of people get like that.
1
SPEAKER_02
From talking to you, you seem like you re, you just like life, man.
1
SPEAKER_02
Like you re able to be happy and see the positive things in whatever s going on with you.
1
SPEAKER_02
So I think you re going to be okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
The best advice that I ve heard is just to not have any expectations for the future, but to like set goals for what you want to happen.
1
SPEAKER_01
But if you set yourself up for expectations, you re just going to be, you know, let down whenever
1
SPEAKER_01
you fail at anything.
1
SPEAKER_01
So it s just best to keep a level head about everything and not be let down by what happens in the end.
1
SPEAKER_01
But to set a goal for something positive though, you know, and that s the best advice I ve heard to help me stay positive in most situations because being let down by anything that you expect to happen always, always makes you, uh, I don t know, brings you down about stuff.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I try to not think about that stuff as much as I can.
1
SPEAKER_02
I was gonna say you should take this whole thing to Jerry Springer, but he s... dead.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, man.
1
SPEAKER_01
Fuckin  hate that shit, dude.
1
SPEAKER_01
I actually used to watch him a lot, which is kinda ironic.
1
SPEAKER_02
What is- is it- I ve never even seen this, or I don t even- if I- if I had to, in my head, picture what this guy looks like, I would have no idea, but what is it, Mari?
1
SPEAKER_02
Is that where the- the whole... Where- where s the whole, you are not the father thing?
1
SPEAKER_02
Is that- is that Springer, or is that Mari?
1
SPEAKER_01
I think it s Murray or Murray, I don t know but I feel like it is Jerry Springer to be honest.
1
SPEAKER_02
It sounds like it is.
1
SPEAKER_02
What s the 2023 version of Springer?
1
SPEAKER_01
It s gotta be someone on YouTube.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Cause they have that whole Chris Hansen guy but he s like Pete Hansen, you know what I m talking about?
1
SPEAKER_01
Who?
1
SPEAKER_01
You know who Skeet Hansen is?
1
SPEAKER_01
The Child Predator guy?
1
SPEAKER_02
I know who Chris Hansen is.
1
SPEAKER_02
You said Skeet Hansen?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, this guy is taking over Chris Hansen s whole persona, but he does the same thing.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I m pretty sure it s legit, but he meets these dudes in Walmart.
1
SPEAKER_01
I think they re meeting 12-year-old girls and bust them.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s pretty crazy, but he s on this whole persona.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s hilarious.
1
SPEAKER_02
I m trying to think where...
1
SPEAKER_02
Um, well, whatever.
1
SPEAKER_02
You can just, I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_02
You can just do the boring thing and find out whether or not you re the father, you know, in an email alone.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, man.
1
SPEAKER_01
Probably going to be either an email or a text message of some sort.
1
SPEAKER_01
I wish I could go on Jerry Springer.
1
SPEAKER_01
What s your name again, man?
1
SPEAKER_01
Holdie.
1
SPEAKER_02
Holdy.
1
SPEAKER_02
Holdy, is there anything else you wanna talk about or say to the people before we go?
1
SPEAKER_01
I m just thankful to be on your stream, man.
1
SPEAKER_01
I ve been listening for a minute and always get a good laugh at work and whatnot.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I appreciate you streaming, man.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s all I gotta say.
1
SPEAKER_02
Thanks, man.
1
SPEAKER_02
Talking to you made me realize that I either need to look on the bright side of things more or just get high more often.
1
SPEAKER_01
Little bit of both, bro.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m telling you.
1
SPEAKER_01
Take care, oldie.
1
SPEAKER_01
You too, man.
1
SPEAKER_02
Good night.
1
SPEAKER_02
I really need- we should put an ad for weed after this.
1
SPEAKER_02
Uh, do they make, there s a really, are you allowed to advertise weed?
1
SPEAKER_02
I ve never, I don t think I ve ever seen, I mean I ve seen like billboards, but I don t think I ve ever heard a podcast ad about weed.
1
SPEAKER_02
There s like Delta 9 and shit.
1
SPEAKER_02
Or maybe like weed maps.
1
SPEAKER_02
We need a weed sponsor.
1
SPEAKER_02
How do we get a weed sponsor?
1
SPEAKER_02
Maybe I should make my own strain.
1
SPEAKER_02
Does anyone know how I can make and distribute my own therapy gecko strain of cannabis?
1
SPEAKER_02
How do I do that?
1
SPEAKER_02
Do I need to like, take one of my gecko gloves and bury it in the ground?
1
SPEAKER_02
Okay, we re gonna figure this out and get back to you guys.
1
SPEAKER_00
Call from Opal.
1
SPEAKER_02
Hello?
1
SPEAKER_00
Hi.
1
SPEAKER_02
Hey, what s up?
1
SPEAKER_00
Hey, oh my God.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s so nice talking to you again.
1
SPEAKER_00
I talked to you about two years ago.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, we talked two years ago.
1
SPEAKER_02
What did we talk about?
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, so I had, um, I was about to go into eating disorder rehab and I, we were talking about how, um, the meaning of life and life after death.
2
SPEAKER_00
and how we, well, I think you agreed with me that sometimes when people pass, it s like they re walking into the next room and how we re all connected.
2
SPEAKER_00
I think that s our conversation pretty much.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, man.
2
SPEAKER_02
That sounds like the era of my life where I wore a ponytail.
2
SPEAKER_00
Wait, what hairstyle do you have under the hat?
2
SPEAKER_02
Ooh, only my family knows that.
2
SPEAKER_02
No, I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_02
I look like any... I have a regular boring white guy haircut.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_02
That sounds nice.
2
SPEAKER_02
How are you doing since then?
2
SPEAKER_02
How was rehab?
2
SPEAKER_00
It was interesting.
2
SPEAKER_00
Unfortunately, the mental health...
2
SPEAKER_00
system here in Georgia is not that good.
2
SPEAKER_00
I have some interesting stories from my time in there, but luckily I ve been in remission for two years now.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, cool.
2
SPEAKER_00
Cool.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m not dealing with that anymore.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Are you feeling, was it worth it to go?
2
SPEAKER_00
Definitely.
2
SPEAKER_00
I think it s very important to ask for help when you need it.
2
SPEAKER_00
And luckily I had insurance because it was very expensive.
2
SPEAKER_00
But I m very grateful I went.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was interesting, you know, being somewhere where everyone around you is going through the exact same thing, maybe different.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know, everybody has different stories, but it s nice to be able to look around and know that you re not an outlier.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know, like everybody s kind of in the same boat.
2
SPEAKER_02
I was thinking about this, uh, recently.
2
SPEAKER_02
You know how, um... Do you think there would ever- would you ever trust an AI doctor?
2
SPEAKER_02
Like, let s say that, um, there was, like, a free, open-source, like, AI surgeon that you could go to for free to get free brain surgery.
2
SPEAKER_02
Would you do something like that?
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know about surgery, but...
2
SPEAKER_00
Funny that you say that because the other day, my therapist canceled on me and I went to characterai.com and talked to a therapist and the advice actually helped.
2
SPEAKER_02
Dude, so I ve done that before, I ve used chat GPT as a therapist, which is a little weird because the whole point of therapy is that it s supposed to be completely confidential and this is like you re feeding your deepest, darkest life things into an algorithm that processes it and spits it out to millions of other people, but...
2
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I think that s, I don t know how anything works.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m stupid, but, uh, I ve used it too.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s really good, dude.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s like, it s incredibly objective.
2
SPEAKER_02
And, um, yeah, it s good.
2
SPEAKER_02
It was, it was good for you.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it actually really helped.
2
SPEAKER_00
Um, I was asking it about how to feel better after, um, uh, a friendship ending.
2
SPEAKER_00
Right.
2
SPEAKER_00
And the advice was generally what other people were giving me too.
2
SPEAKER_00
which is the whole point of an AI, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
It tells you what other people have said before, but it was nice, weirdly comforting and then once I was done, I felt like a weird mix of emotions like, wow, this was very human.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know how to feel about this, but I think it might be a good option for people who can t afford therapy or don t really have
2
SPEAKER_00
Friends to talk to maybe not for like genuine advice, but for like a little you know like a rough patch I need a quick pick-me-up Mm-hmm.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I ve totally done the same thing.
2
SPEAKER_02
I ve used it when a therapist is cancelled on me or something like that Yeah, I don t know I don t know like if
2
SPEAKER_02
Have I m sort of agnostic to it of like is it good to have to like be replace?
2
SPEAKER_00
friendship with the computer You know I don t think is a good idea, but definitely Supplementing so if you re at a point where you have literally zero people to talk to right it doesn t hurt to get some sort It s just like you know
2
SPEAKER_00
I tend to look things up, look up things that I m going through, whether it be like on Quora or just Google to see what people have to say.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s the same, you know, just more personalized and you don t have to scroll through a bunch of blogs and Reddit.
2
SPEAKER_00
You just get it instantly, which I find it s kind of nice.
2
SPEAKER_00
Definitely not replacing friends.
2
SPEAKER_00
Human connections are important, but
2
SPEAKER_00
In a tough moment, it s kind of the same as contacting, you know, like I used to contact the crisis text line.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I was getting the exact same advice as the AI was giving me.
2
SPEAKER_00
So it was kind of interesting to see what it had to say and how, you know, it sounded very genuine and real.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was kind of scary.
2
SPEAKER_02
Isn t that weird that like could you imagine a crazy future where you call like a suicide hotline or a crisis hotline and you can tell that it s like an AI voice answering everything?
2
SPEAKER_00
I feel like that would definitely send me over the edge.
2
SPEAKER_02
I was thinking that would either make me do it, or it would be so funny to me that I d be like, alright, maybe life s working out.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it would snap me out of it.
2
SPEAKER_02
I like what you said.
2
SPEAKER_02
I like what you said about uh, you re totally right.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s very it is very similar to Like typing your issue into reddit and seeing if anyone had the same thing or Cora except Although it s weird right because when you look at the reddit or the Cora answer, it s like that s one person but the answer that Chat GPT or something like that is spitting out at you.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s like it s like if they took
2
SPEAKER_02
Bunch of people and kind of combined their answer into into an average and gave it to you So it s yeah, I like that comparison.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s a very it s very interesting to think about it like that Yeah, and I ve contacted the crisis line too many times and I realized that they go off of not a script But kind of like talking point and that s basically what the AI does too.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know, they can t really be too personal and
2
SPEAKER_00
or put in much emotion when they re giving you advice.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s more like a quick calm down, let s do some coping skills.
2
SPEAKER_00
So the AI is the exact same thing.
2
SPEAKER_00
What coping skills can you use right now?
2
SPEAKER_00
That s the same answer I would ve gotten from the suicide hotline.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s not like I have to sit there like genuinely listening and putting in their input or opinion.
2
SPEAKER_00
They re just trying to get me to calm down
2
SPEAKER_02
Based off of their training and if the AI has the same training then they re essentially doing the same thing Yeah, it s it s an interesting thing to think about Hmm do you use AI for anything else?
2
SPEAKER_00
Unfortunately, yes So I don t
2
SPEAKER_00
use AI to do my paperwork if I have to write something, but I use it to revise it.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I ll write out some papers and then I ll go in and be like, hey, can you make this sound more professional?
2
SPEAKER_00
Kind of like Grammarly.
2
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, I get to change the tone and I don t have to pay for it like Grammarly.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I use that sometimes.
2
SPEAKER_00
And when I first found Character AI, I did talk to Aaron from Attack on Titan.
2
SPEAKER_02
Wait care like you could like you made Like there was an AI that I saw attack on Titan a long time ago, but Aaron s a character in attack on Titan, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, he s the main character and there was a robot that was trained to look like to talk like him and you had a conversation with it Yeah, character AI is a website and they are kind of like user based so people can go there and create an AI
2
SPEAKER_00
based off of a character or like a therapist.
2
SPEAKER_00
I ve talked to Elon Musk, not really, but on there.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so it s kind of funny sometimes.
2
SPEAKER_02
You know, my thing with that is that like if I, if there was a robot that was trained to speak exactly like Obama,
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I was talking to it.
3
SPEAKER_00
It wouldn t be believable because the real Obama, if I were trying to talk to him, he would be using every chance he can to get out of the conversation because he has about a thousand things better to do than talk to me.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know what I m saying?
3
SPEAKER_00
So, like, if I were really talking to Obama, like, I would say, like, hey, Obama, how you doing?
3
SPEAKER_00
And he would be like, oh, thanks.
3
SPEAKER_00
All right, well, gotta go.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, that was, that s how my conversation with Obama would really be if I, like, saw him somewhere.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it s not really, that s what I mean.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s not really personal.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s very, you know, robotic.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s kind of what an idea, like, I think it s, it s best used for if you re trying to write a story.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
I see a lot of people use it for like fan fictions.
3
SPEAKER_02
You know, because it creates good dialogue, you know, if you re like a creative brett, you can go in there and talk to one of your favorite characters.
3
SPEAKER_02
And it s not accurate, honestly, because Aaron probably would have killed me if I were to actually try to talk to him.
3
SPEAKER_02
But
3
SPEAKER_02
not on the website, which is, it s pretty cool.
3
SPEAKER_02
Um, I honestly, I don t think it s, I don t think it s a good thing to, um, fully indulge yourself in it though, because it s, it s very confusing.
3
SPEAKER_02
It seems like you re talking to a person and if you do it every day, you ll feel like you actually have a relationship with this character.
3
SPEAKER_01
I like what you said, you know,
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t know, this is why I m agnostic towards it, because, like... Like, I mean, humans have been using technology to solve their problems forever, but it s like, what about our personal problems?
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, how do we use technology?
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I should know, there s a lot of ways that we ve used technology to solve, you know, our personal problems, like, you know, Tinder and, you know, people who make friends on online chat rooms, um...
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, not like, you know, like Reddit or, you know, if you make friends playing a video game or on Discord or something like that.
3
SPEAKER_00
And, you know, I like what you said.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, it s kind of a supplementary thing.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, if you really need it and, you know, it works, but you don t want to get too sucked into it or else, you know, it gets...
3
SPEAKER_00
But then, I don t know, I also feel like if you re happy, you re happy.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, if there s some guy and he s like, I have an AI girlfriend, we re going to France next week, I m the happiest I ve ever been, who am I to argue with that guy?
3
SPEAKER_02
It reminds me of the movie Her.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m not sure if you know that movie.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I do.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s funny, that came out like, I mean, that was what, 2017 or something like that?
3
SPEAKER_00
That was way before all this stuff went crazy.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and in the movie,
3
SPEAKER_02
was pretty happy, you know, for a while.
3
SPEAKER_02
Until, you know, the ending happened.
3
SPEAKER_02
But like you said, if you re happy, you re happy.
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t like to put my opinion on people s lives and what they choose to do.
3
SPEAKER_02
But sometimes if you have someone who s really mentally struggling and seeking connections, I think it s best to use AI to find resources to find other people.
3
SPEAKER_02
Right?
3
SPEAKER_02
Like, hey, chat GPT, what
3
SPEAKER_02
what community gatherings are in my area for.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
I like that.
3
SPEAKER_02
You know, like, how do I make friends?
3
SPEAKER_02
Or how do I increase my confidence?
3
SPEAKER_00
You know, because sometimes like a coach instead of a instead of a friend.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, you know, but it s like you really need it.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like I said, my therapist canceled on me.
3
SPEAKER_02
I really needed advice in that moment.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s definitely a good supplement.
3
SPEAKER_02
I mean, you know, it s
3
SPEAKER_02
Kind of like, I don t know, it really is a supplement, but I personally in my own life will not be using it regularly.
3
SPEAKER_00
Um, I wanna ask you this before we go.
3
SPEAKER_00
I have only- I have called the crisis line once, and the person was- was actually really, really nice.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I ve heard a lot of stories of people doing it, and, um, like the person on the other line being a dick.
3
SPEAKER_00
I actually- I read this one story on Reddit, where a person called the crisis line, and the person called and was like, hello, and then, um, the- the person calling was like, hey, I kind of, you know, I m- I m feeling a little bit, um,
3
SPEAKER_00
You know sad and then the person on the line was like, okay You know what?
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean?
3
SPEAKER_00
Like they were just jerks, but then the person writing the story on reddit They said like it was so funny just the situation of like calling a crisis hotline and the person being a dick Like it was so funny that it kind of snapped them out of it But all that is to say have you caught have you ever called a hotline like this and the person s just been an asshole.
3
SPEAKER_00
I
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, so there s a couple hotlines.
3
SPEAKER_02
The national suicide hotline.
3
SPEAKER_02
There s like hotlines per state.
3
SPEAKER_02
I used to call the Georgia crisis line and they have a text line.
3
SPEAKER_02
I prefer to text because of what you said.
3
SPEAKER_02
Sometimes people can be kind of impatient on the phone and give you don t really give you advice.
3
SPEAKER_02
They just try to see whether they have to call the cops or not.
3
SPEAKER_02
And
3
SPEAKER_02
I ve had really sweet people and also people who you can tell they re just reading something and not really paying attention.
3
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, sometimes I ve been about to call the line I ve realized, you know, I should probably just calm down.
3
SPEAKER_02
Because once they pick up, I m like, oh man, this is kind of cringe.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I see that too.
3
SPEAKER_00
I see that too.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re like, because all it, dude, all it takes is like, because you re in your own, because when you re freaking out, I mean, you re like alone in your own, and this is for me, you re like alone in your own head.
3
SPEAKER_00
You have no outside feedback.
3
SPEAKER_00
And the second, like a little, a little, there s a little, little crack in your damn,
3
SPEAKER_00
And there s another person there and they re like, so what s going on?
3
SPEAKER_00
And you re like, and you try to explain it to another person.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re like, oh, okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m actually fine.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s usually why I, um, would text because halfway through I m okay now.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t have to awkwardly end the conversation.
3
SPEAKER_02
I just stopped texting back, you know?
3
SPEAKER_02
Um, but I ve had that happen before I ve gotten to the hospital and I m like, okay, can I go home now?
3
SPEAKER_02
But I still have to do the whole intake.
3
SPEAKER_02
Um, but yeah, I think that s why sometimes AI can be a bit, you know, helpful.
3
SPEAKER_02
Cause I tend to get in my head and having an outside source tell me, Hey, what s going on.
3
SPEAKER_02
It kind of brings me back out of it.
3
SPEAKER_02
So yeah, it s interesting What s your name again?
3
SPEAKER_00
My name s opal opal well opal two years from now What s gonna happen is you re gonna call back, and I m just gonna have an AI geck bot running the lines I Don t know.
3
SPEAKER_02
I really appreciate Like you you know I don t think it would be the same your
3
SPEAKER_02
Your energy is very nice.
3
SPEAKER_02
I really appreciate you being behind the mic.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, thanks, Opal.
3
SPEAKER_00
But we ll see if I could get it to be really good.
3
SPEAKER_00
If I could like because I bet I could just talk to it.
3
SPEAKER_00
I could rant.
3
SPEAKER_00
I could rant into a microphone for 20 hours and then it could probably reproduce something.
3
SPEAKER_02
Would you be able to program your silences, you know, after someone says something kind of crazy?
3
SPEAKER_02
You just kind of go quiet?
3
SPEAKER_02
You think you could program that or would it just talk back immediately?
3
SPEAKER_00
If anyone knows how to make an AI... Alright, so there s all these people out there who know how to make an AI talk, right?
3
SPEAKER_00
If anyone out there knows how to make an AI not talk, send me an email.
3
SPEAKER_00
Alright.
3
SPEAKER_00
Sounds good.
3
SPEAKER_00
Thank you very much, Opal.
3
SPEAKER_00
I appreciate you coming on and talking.
3
SPEAKER_00
Also, I m very stoked.
3
SPEAKER_00
Thanks for continuing to listen to this thing for two years.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m glad that you haven t gotten sick of it yet.
3
SPEAKER_00
Is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?
3
SPEAKER_02
No, just to you.
3
SPEAKER_02
I appreciate all you do.
3
SPEAKER_02
You ve inspired me to go out and talk to people more and listen to their stories.
3
SPEAKER_02
Helped me make a lot of really cool connections.
3
SPEAKER_02
So thank you for being you man.
3
SPEAKER_02
Keep doing it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Fuck.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Thank you opal Congrats on the rehabilitation You sound like you re doing better at least from talking to you for these past 10-20 minutes and I appreciate you and I ll talk to you soon All right.
3
SPEAKER_02
I ll see you in two years.
3
SPEAKER_00
Bye opal
4
SPEAKER_00
I am Gakbot.
4
SPEAKER_00
Hey guys, it s Lyle here.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m about to do some ad reads, but if you re a premium member of the podcast, you will not hear them.
4
SPEAKER_00
Premium members, or Gek Legends, as I like to call them, get access to every episode of this podcast ad-free.
4
SPEAKER_00
They also get bonus episodes, recordings for my live shows, members-only streams, and they support my ability to keep doing this show for a long time,
4
SPEAKER_00
do it in cooler, more interesting places, and also eat food, which is important.
4
SPEAKER_00
If any of that sounds cool to you, you can go to therapygecko.supercast.com to become a GECK legend, or find the link in the episode description.
4
SPEAKER_00
Alright, let s do some ads.
4
SPEAKER_01
Call from... Kyle.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yo.
4
SPEAKER_00
Hi, what s your name?
4
SPEAKER_01
Hey, my name s Kyle, man.
4
SPEAKER_00
Kyle, what s going on?
4
SPEAKER_01
Not much, I just got home.
4
SPEAKER_01
I ve been trying to get in touch with you for a while now, man.
4
SPEAKER_01
I ve tried on and off for almost a couple years.
4
SPEAKER_01
I just had bad luck getting on, but we re here now, and it s great to talk to you, man.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, man, good to talk to you, too.
4
SPEAKER_00
I have to know, over these couple years, you ve been trying to reach me.
4
SPEAKER_00
Is there anything in particular you ve been trying to reach me about?
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I kind of just wanted to talk about life and shit.
4
SPEAKER_01
So my whole thing is like, I m a, I m a saxophone player and like, I drive around the Midwest a lot and I do like a lot of gigs and I m trying to sort of like be entrepreneurial and like, you know, I m making an album next week and all this stuff.
4
SPEAKER_01
And, um, you know, I m, I just kind of wanted to like compare and contrast our lives a little bit, man.
4
SPEAKER_01
Cause I know, you know, you ve been, you ve been all over the world and that s super admirable.
4
SPEAKER_00
What aspect of our lives is there a particular aspect of our lives you you wanted to to compare or contrast about like is there I guess a thing with that that you re thinking about Well, you know, I I hear all your crazy stories of being on the road and meeting, you know different people, you know and and
4
SPEAKER_01
I do that as well, but just definitely on a smaller scale since my travels right now are only regional.
4
SPEAKER_01
I ve only left the country for a gig once.
4
SPEAKER_01
I ve met some characters.
4
SPEAKER_01
I do a lot of these destination weddings and shit where I m basically expensive furniture.
4
SPEAKER_01
People are asking me where the bathroom is and shit like that.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s kind of interesting just kind of being a fly on the wall for all the events where, you know, you re like, you know, you re running the show.
4
SPEAKER_00
You ever get into any like eyes wide shut shit where you re playing saxophone with a blindfold while people are fucking around you?
4
SPEAKER_01
No, but I ve I ve been playing on the dance floor once and there s this there s this woman who s like, she started trying to dance on me while I m playing.
4
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, like I m in like work mode, you know, like everyone s like
4
SPEAKER_01
Drunk and all this stuff.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, I m just kind of like, man, like, I m just trying to play, get away from me.
4
SPEAKER_00
Was she like twerking on you?
4
SPEAKER_01
Trying to, but you know, I have a piece of metal in front of me.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I m like, what are you doing?
4
SPEAKER_00
Um, Hmm.
4
SPEAKER_00
Do you like your life?
4
SPEAKER_00
Are you happy?
4
SPEAKER_00
Are you excited?
4
SPEAKER_00
Are you, do you feel good?
4
SPEAKER_00
Do you, is your body temperature at a normal place?
4
SPEAKER_01
I have, you know, I have streaks, you know, I get, I have, uh, when, when the phones ring in and like, you know, things are happening, you know, I feel content, you know, I think my biggest issue is that I invest my happiness in my success.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you know, like, yeah, that s, that s an issue for sure.
4
SPEAKER_01
And that,
4
SPEAKER_01
I feel like I m happiest when I m the busiest.
4
SPEAKER_01
Because I ve definitely been the type of person to, when the going gets tough and I m feeling down and stuff, I m like, alright, I just need to put up and work my dick off and then forget that I have some bullshit going on.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, let s compare and contrast on that.
4
SPEAKER_00
I ve been thinking about that with myself a lot.
4
SPEAKER_00
My gecko career has had its peaks and valleys, and there s been times where I m on Instagram after I just posted something being like,
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, ah, it s just gonna get as many likes as it used to, and you know, you re tracking shit like that.
4
SPEAKER_00
And, um, it s such a... You know, when I look at it from an objective point of view, it is just such an awful way to live.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I ve been living like that, and continue to live like that.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think I get better with it as time goes on and as I develop a better relationship with it.
4
SPEAKER_00
It sucks though.
4
SPEAKER_00
It also, you know what else also sucks, and I don t know how to, if I m gonna be able to describe this well, but you know, I really, I m aware of this issue of like, you know, the
4
SPEAKER_00
the tying of happiness to success and I really don t like it because I really don t want my success I mean I really don t want my happiness to be tied to something that is kind of debatably out of my control
4
SPEAKER_00
and so if I and also just something that s outside of me you know so like if I have a live show that goes really well or a clip that s doing really well or my podcast is on the charts or something like that and I feel myself get happy about it that actually pisses me off so like I don t I never get I don t get fully happy about it because I ll get happy about it and then I ll get
4
SPEAKER_00
sad that I m happy about this thing that s out of my control like I ll like my brain will get happy and I ll like hit my brain with a newspaper and be like that s not what s gonna make us happy we re gonna go sit on the sands naked and think and that s gonna make us happy you know so I get in I get into that whole thing I don t know if that s ever happened to you yeah absolutely man it s a it s a vicious cycle for sure you know it s like
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, I feel like, you know, we re programmed like that in this day and age.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, especially you mentioned with the whole Instagram thing, man, you know, I feel like my, you know, I m trying to get my feet off the ground and like, you know, draw some awareness.
4
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, whenever I post something like maybe a good example of it is like, you know, I, I post videos of me playing, you know, semi regularly.
4
SPEAKER_01
I try not to do it too much to kind of not like, you know, sort of to not dilute my,
4
SPEAKER_01
presence or whatever, but if I post a clip of me playing and it s like, oh, it didn t get as many likes as I wanted, I ll be so salty about it.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m like, man, I suck at what I do.
4
SPEAKER_01
I need to just stop.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t know about you, but I feel like as an entertainer, I get imposter syndrome a lot.
4
SPEAKER_01
Every time I try to create something and it doesn t go well, I m just like, man,
4
SPEAKER_01
maybe like accounting isn t the worst idea in the world, you know?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, I get like that all the time.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, but and then on the other side of that, you know, I had, you know, I made one video, oh God, maybe in March and it got like the most likes I ever got.
4
SPEAKER_01
And for me, that was like, I think 350 likes.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, oh my God, I m so cool.
4
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Like, and it was like a video of me playing like somebody else s solo.
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You know, I was just like, it was something I was practicing.
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You know, and I m like, I m like, man, like, why are you getting hype over a video of you playing someone else s shit?
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Like, you know, I want, I want the attention to be on, like, you know, my own, like, creative creations.
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Right.
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Right.
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That s, no, what you just, what you just said, I want the attention to be on my own creative creations.
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It s like, that s, that s, that s where you want to be.
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Where you want to be, I think, is like, just be, is like, you want to just be about the fucking work of what you re doing.
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That s the most, that s as happy as you can be.
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As you, you know, me in the bliss of having this conversation with you right now, you in the bliss of playing your saxophone, that s where we should be, is just in the fucking work.
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The thing that we re doing is enough.
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If we re lucky enough to make enough money doing it that we don t have to do anything else, that s fantastic.
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Even if not, you know,
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We re lucky enough to get to be alive, to do it.
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Like, you know, just being about the work I think is where I want to be at.
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And some days I m there.
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Please.
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You know, I think going along with that point, one of the beautiful things about what, you know, a good comparison moment about what you and me both
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do is we re fortunate to work on the lighter side of society.
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You know what I mean?
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We re not like, you know, we re not out there like fighting wars or like, you know, performing life-saving surgeries.
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But, you know, something I wrestled with and come to peace with is like, there is still equal importance for what we contribute to society, you know, as like, you know, you re talking to the people, you re a man of the people, you know, and I m trying to
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communicate to the people equally just in a different medium and a different message, you know?
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I don t align with you on that.
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I m sorry.
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Why is that?
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Well, only because, um...
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You know, I m happy with what I do, and I don t think I ve gotten to the place where I can sit with myself and really say and understand and take in, like, I help people.
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You know?
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Because I have a lot of imposter syndrome, like we ve talked about.
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But enough people have... I get enough messages and emails and have met enough people who tell me that I have helped them, that I can go, okay, I ve, you know, this podcast has hopefully been some positive impact of something.
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But it s not, but I don t know if I would say it s as important as like, I don t know, being a doctor or something like that.
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But I don t think it has to be.
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I don t think it has to be.
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You know, it can just be what it is.
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It doesn t have to exist in comparison to other things.
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That s what I mean.
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I didn t mean to, I didn t mean to, you know what yes anding is?
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I didn t mean to no but you.
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I didn t mean to no but you.
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SPEAKER_01
No, no, I totally agree.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I could have worded that better.
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SPEAKER_01
So, uh, no, that, that totally makes sense, man.
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SPEAKER_01
You know, it s just kind of like finding your, finding your sort of pocket, your, you know, I don t want to say finding your place, cause that almost sounds like a little derogatory, but you know, I think especially with what you ve done and, you know, where you ve come from and having your background in standup is just like, man, you ve really like carved out a path for yourself and you ve carved out a place for yourself in the,
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SPEAKER_01
the community of streamers and the community of people who are comedians, you know, I, I, you know, I had to drive back from, I had to do, I did 21 hours in the car this weekend and I listened to a lot of, a lot of your episodes.
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SPEAKER_01
I ve listened to every episode.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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You know, I m very picky about podcasts and I just like, I don t want to go on a whole dick sucking thing, but I just, I just appreciate that.
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Like, you know, your stick of like,
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being the gecko is so like apparent that I feel like you do such a great job of like, you re like, okay, I m a gecko.
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SPEAKER_01
Now let s talk about some real shit, you know, and that s, that s super dope.
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And I appreciate the sort of like, you know, organic nature of that and the sort of like place that that comes from.
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But anyways, um, man, fuck, I lost my train of thought about, uh, there was something that I listened to from a preview, a recent episode last night that really,
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Resonated me resonated with me What jog my memory man, what uh, oh god, you know, it s funny is that by the way, thank you for all those Thank you for all those kind words.
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Thank you for all that kind sucking.
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I have everywhere I
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You know what is funny is I ll like I ll see people quote me like on discord or on Twitter or something and I always look at the quotes and I m like fuck did I say that?
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You know, well, you know, kind of get into that flow state, and you know, you re just like, literally, you re like Ben Barth.
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You know, to take it back, the, the, the, the, bro, it s the, it s the flow state.
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I m sure you re familiar with the flow state.
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I m sure you get into it a lot when you re playing the saxophone.
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It s like, you know, forget about the, the likes on Instagram and the, you know, worrying about money or any of these other things.
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It s like, it s like the fucking,
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flow state that that s what you know that s what feels so fucking good afterwards because that s something that nobody can take away from you you know that s that s just you and your element that s that movie soul i ve never watched soul but you ve never watched dude fuck you you ve never watched soul you re a saxophone player you gotta watch soul
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I know, man.
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The saxophone player on it is a badass, Tia Fuller.
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She did the saxophone playing for the movie, and the character is loosely based on her.
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So shout out Tia Fuller.
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She s a badass.
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How do you know the person that the cartoon character in Soul is based off of, but you ve never seen the movie?
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That s the thing that sucks about being so deep in the intricacies of the industry is that
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Sometimes you forget to zoom out enough to see the big picture.
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I think a good example of that is I ve studied so much music that going back and trying to listen to it for leisure has gotten harder over the years.
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Do you still like what you re doing?
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Oh, I love it, man.
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That s great.
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I wouldn t have it any other way.
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And yeah, I m very grateful to be doing this.
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It s hard.
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Like I said, this weekend was really hard on me.
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And I m also doing my doctorate right now in jazz.
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So it s just like I go to school on the weekdays, and then I m just traveling on the weekends.
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I feel like I m conflating myself a little bit, you know, it s just like I m just trying to go play gigs and collect the money and then go to school so I can, you know, be a professor when I graduate and then do the jazz full-time, do the saxophone full-time.
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You know, by the way, you know, see I wish you watched Soul because I actually think this is what Soul is about.
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Correct me if I m wrong, I haven t seen the movie in two years, but it s like about
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It s kind of about that whole, like, journey versus destination, flow state versus success thing, because I m gonna spoil- Can I spoil the movie for you?
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, go for it.
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Okay, so this is my recollection of how the movie goes.
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There s this fucking guy, and he plays this music, and he really wants this job in this quartet or some shit like that.
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He really wants this gig.
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Right?
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This gig represents, like, great success for him.
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And eventually, he gets the gig, but it doesn t really hit him.
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You know?
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It doesn t really provide him with all the juicy goodness he thought it would be.
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SPEAKER_00
Not all the happy chemicals.
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Right, right.
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And then he learns that all the happy chemicals are found in that flow state, and not in success.
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So, you know, you should watch the movie.
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I think it s about what we re talking about.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that that sounds very relevant and that s that s dope man.
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That s a you know, and that s so that s so relatable, you know And someone s gonna comment on this and be like that s monsters Inc you dumbass.
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I don t I don t remember the movie that well, but yeah No, man, it s the hangover What s your name again
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Kyle.
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Kyle.
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Kyle, I want to let you plug.
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What s your, what s your goddamn jazz Instagram?
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Um, so my first and my last name are in the handle.
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Do you think that s a bad idea to plug or?
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That s all you.
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It s up to you.
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SPEAKER_01
Ah, fuck it.
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It s Kyle Brooks saxophone.
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Kyle Brooks saxophone.
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Okay, I ll give you a check out.
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What s your, do you have like a pinned reel of your, that s a weird thing to say, I ll give you a check out.
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I was debating between I ll give you a listen and I ll check you out.
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Do you have a pinned, what s your favorite clip of, do you do covers and stuff?
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I do some covers.
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There s the one reel I was talking about, I think it s like my second or third reel in is of me playing
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a solo that did pretty well but it was someone else s solo.
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I write, I compose music and I got a show coming up a week from today in Chicago, that s where I m from.
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And then I m trying to get some attention for that because the next day I m going in and
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I m going to the studio and cutting my debut record.
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Dude, if anybody comes to this Chicago show and they come up to you and they re like, yeah, I found out about this from the Gecko.
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You got to let me know because that d be sick.
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Yeah, that would be awesome, man.
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Well, if anyone wants to come, let me know.
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I ll buy you a drink.
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Kyle.
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As long as I m not buying many drinks.
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It was good talking to you, man.
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Is there- is there... I feel like this was a- you know what?
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This was a good compare and contrast and a good talking about life.
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I feel like... Um... Um... We- we achieved the goals of this conversation and... I felt as though I was in the flow state as I was having it.
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I m not bullshitting you.
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I really... That is a true feeling that I have.
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Um... Likewise, man.
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I feel the same way.
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Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
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SPEAKER_02
Um...
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Live fast, smoke grass, and eat ass.
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Kyle Brooks Saxophone, folks.
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Go check him out.
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Thanks for calling, Kyle.
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Appreciate you, man.
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Be safe out there.
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SPEAKER_03
Also, watch Up.
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SPEAKER_03
In fact, watch Up before... Wait, no, not Up.
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SPEAKER_03
Watch Coco.
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SPEAKER_03
Yeah, watch Coco before Soul.
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Watch Coco, then Up, then Soul.
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I m gonna do that tonight.
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No, I m just kidding, I m gonna... I m gonna go eat something instead.
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Hello folks, it s Lyle here.
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That s the end of this episode, but get this!
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I m releasing a bonus episode this week.
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That s right, an entire extra hour of the podcast that you can listen to by becoming a premium member of Therapy Gecko over at therapygecko.supercast.com.
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SPEAKER_03
Supercast subscribers get access to bonus episodes, they get a completely ad-free podcast feed of the regular show, they get recordings from my live shows, members-only streams, and they help support my ability to continue doing this podcast.
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So here s a clip from this week s members-only bonus episode.
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stuff we do on our scenes to mess with people.
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And I brought up that I really liked chasing people down and cornering them.
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And one of the other scare actors were like, mm, that sounds questionable.
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If I catch people trying to get through quick so they don t get scared, that s when I like to chase them down.
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I was actually just at a haunted house, and I was doing that.
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I was running fast through the thing so that people couldn t scare me.
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But I knew that it made them want to scare me more.
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If you d like, I could give you some advice to make yourself less of a target.
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SPEAKER_03
Yeah, give us some advice on how you can be less of a target at a haunted house.
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SPEAKER_03
If you want to hear this full conversation, you can sign up to become a premium member at therapygecko.supercast.com or find the link in the episode description.
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SPEAKER_03
That s therapygecko.supercast.com.
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SPEAKER_03
Alright, I have nothing else to say.
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But he s not really an expert.