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This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.
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Look at how fast, we re almost halfway through the year.
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Crazy, yeah.
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Are you proud of what you ve done in 2024 so far?
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I mean, you always want to do more, right?
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Life goes so fast, David.
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It s important to take a moment to celebrate your wins, make adjustments for the rest of the year.
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Therapy can help you take stock of your progress and set achievable goals for the next six months.
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Listen, therapy is the way to go.
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I did it for a while.
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And I think the thing that slowed me down was what they, is driving to Santa Monica in traffic once or twice a week.
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This is online.
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It s a great idea.
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Very convenient.
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It helps you.
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You ve got coping skills, how to set boundaries.
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I mean, there s so many things you can do here to be a better version of yourself.
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You can probably always sharpen it.
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Yeah, I mean, I had a therapist in Portland and I would commute and that was a pain.
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That s a long drive.
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I know it was 1300 miles one way, but you know, it s good therapist.
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But yeah, this one you can mix and match and your thoughts kind of control you and you want to master them.
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That s betterhelp, H-E-L-P.com slash F-O-T-W.
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Guys, we had such unbelievable feedback on the last one.
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We are doing this again.
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This is another holiday special, but this is the good parts of our live shows, the highlights of the live shows.
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We don t do that many, but they re super fun.
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We will definitely do more.
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We gotta get us out there and just busting our hump.
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I m on tour, so I go out anyway, but I ll drag Dana and we ll come to a few more cities this year and do it, because it s always a blast.
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We got parts from James Austin Johnson.
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He was the first we did, and that was in Texas.
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He did his Trump.
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He did impressions.
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We cracked up.
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We have Sandler on this, Will Ferrell, one of my all-time faves.
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Of course, Zach Galifianakis, who is such a genius.
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And it s really, it s kind of more fun with the crowd.
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We sort of pander to them, but they re always good.
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They laugh.
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They stick it out during the serious stuff, but we mostly just crack up and fuck off and act stupid, and that s what people like.
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And that s what paid for my Honda Accord, so I m thankful.
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All right, here you go, guys.
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Happy holidays.
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Norm was in Jeopardy!
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with you a lot.
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Yeah.
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Any funny Norm stories or anything about Norm?
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Burt Reynolds.
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Yeah, my God.
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That was brilliant.
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Jeopardy!
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again, one of the big sketches.
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Huge SNL.
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One of those big sketches everyone remembers.
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Always funny.
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Daryl was funny and Norm was great.
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Yeah, the best Norm story was, I think it s the one where he s wearing, he comes back, he s wearing a big foam cowboy hat.
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He s like, that s funny, huh?
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Wearing a cowboy hat.
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And anyway, there s some beat where I have to be super exasperated with him, and I yell at him, and we get out of the sketch.
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And Norm comes running after me, he s like, hey, Will, everything okay?
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I go, yeah, why?
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He s like, you seem kind of mad at me out there.
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I m like, no, Norm, I m acting.
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We ve done it.
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This is like the fourth time we ve done the sketch.
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No, but that time it just seemed like you really were mad at me for some reason.
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I was like, no, we re good.
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That s very, that s very Norm right there.
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That s his sense of humor.
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Yeah, he seemed kind of mad there for a moment, right?
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But he was not, I don t think he was doing a bad job.
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He might ve been serious that you were streaming.
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He was very sensitive in that way too.
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He was very shaken.
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Yeah.
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And then, uh.
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Cause you can commit hard and you probably scared him.
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Another Norm, another great Norm story has nothing to do with Quebec was, and Catan told me about it.
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They were on a flight together back,
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LA to New York.
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Chris had taken off his shoes and he can t find his shoes.
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They re about to land.
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Can t find his shoes.
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He s going to the flight attendant.
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Have you seen my shoes?
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I took them off.
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He s like, I don t know.
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He s like, Norm, come on.
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You took my shoes.
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No, I didn t.
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I didn t take your shoes.
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Why would I take your shoes?
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It s the stupidest thing I ve ever heard.
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I ve never taken... He s like, come on, give me back my shoes.
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I know you took them.
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Norm s like, I don t know what you re talking about.
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Catan has to walk through JFK... With no shoes?
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With no shoes, just in his socks.
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An entire season goes by, and then Catan and Norm are jousting back and forth about something.
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Yeah, they used to joust a little bit.
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And then Norm finally goes, oh yeah, and one other thing, I did take your shoes.
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That flight in November.
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Flight in November.
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I took them, I threw them in the trash can, just so you know.
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Yeah, he s like, I saw his shoes there, right?
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And I just, I kind of grabbed his shoes.
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So yeah, you were right.
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He used to give Catan so much shit.
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Oh my God, yeah, he was tough.
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Okay, let s see if we have anything else.
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Well, before we let you go.
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Oh, and the other thing I was thinking about today, Downey used to give me the great, I loved being- Jim Downey.
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Sorry, Jim Downey, legendary writer who came up with strategery.
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Oh, he did.
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I had the A-team, too, writing for me with Al Franken and Jim Downey.
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Totally.
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But Downey, I loved being in Downey s sketches for a number of different reasons, but the best was between dress and air, and he d do it every single time, and I would laugh hard every single time.
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He d go, great job.
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Take it down about 1,000%.
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And then I would just, yeah, Sam, I d be like, uh-huh, yeah, okay.
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And he s like, I don t know what happened, you must have gotten into your big juice or something.
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But he would literally tell me to take it down a thousand percent.
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Worst advice, yeah.
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Did you?
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Made me laugh every single time.
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And he would never say he s joking.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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I remember one time I did a joke on Hollywood Minute about, with jokes, you know, they had some, some had a little more of a, some were clever, some had a little mean streak, but I did a Jim Carrey one.
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The funniest part is I liked 99% of the people I m making fun of.
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Of course.
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And Jim Carrey, I was just trying to get a foot in the door at SNL and whatever it took, but
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Jim was doing these, you know, the movies that I loved, but I said, and they would always prod me to go farther.
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Right.
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Because it was like through them.
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I dare you.
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Yeah.
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I said, oh, Jim s carry after this one of his movies just rushed to the hospital after an overdose of, uh, uh,
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overacting pills with play it too big juice.
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And, uh, and the crowd just stared at me and it was, it was too soon.
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Don t don t mess with that fucking guy.
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Yeah.
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Jim Carrey.
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And I was like, no, I love, you know, and anyway, that was cut after dress.
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But, uh, but dressers, it was a good, but that was those guys.
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And they, they would write me the roughest Hollywood minute jokes.
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I like that rewrite table.
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They go, Jim would be like, oh, you would never.
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Well, no, you re too much of a pussy.
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And I go, no, I m not.
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What?
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And then he tell me, I go, yeah, I m too much of a pussy.
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Yeah, I m not saying that.
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He goes, of course, because you re a pussy.
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And I go, why?
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And but it was all whatever he wanted to say and get the anger out and get to me.
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And they hide behind the whole.
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Oh, I know.
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That s why it s so funny.
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They get to say whatever they want.
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But I would have to sort of temper it.
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But always funny.
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I mean, they re always just they re just fucking.
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Wait, one last Norm Macdonald story.
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Sorry.
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Love him.
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Do you remember the Mama Celeste frozen pizza commercials?
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Yes.
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No, I don t.
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And it was this.
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And she would say up on down, which is a made up marketing word.
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There s no.
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There s no word in the Italian language.
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I thought that was genuine Italian.
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Yeah.
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And one day we re sitting around in the writer s room having lunch, and we re doing a bit where I m like, hey guys, this lunch is pretty good.
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Abondanza, right?
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And everyone goes, yeah, abondanza.
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And Norm s sitting there like, Norm, come on, just say it.
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Say abondanza.
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He s like, no, I m not going to say it.
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I m like, come on, Norm.
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Just say it.
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Abondanza.
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I won t do it.
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I m not going to say it.
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We get like 15 of us like, come on, Norm.
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It d be rude now.
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We ve all said Abundanza.
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You should just say Abundanza.
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No.
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I don t want to say it.
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I m not going to say it.
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I won t say it.
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He never would say it.
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Anyway, that s the end of the story.
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Yeah.
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All right.
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Well, I think we re going to have a few people.
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Hey, a penny saved is a penny earned, they say, right?
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That s like a hundred percent return.
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You can t get that anywhere.
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Is that what he said?
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I was just talking on the phone with Norm, you know?
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You know, you should bury some money, right?
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Because then later on your relatives will dig it up and they ll have money, right?
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He just had the driest, funniest vibe.
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I didn t have a TV the first year I was on the show, because I just didn t buy one, because I thought, I m never going to be in my apartment.
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So I d go and watch the NBC sports feed on like a Sunday.
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Norm, of course, is in there.
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And Norm enjoyed gambling on sports.
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And we were watching some game, and I m like, ooh, got to watch out, you know, University of Cincinnati.
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They re pretty good in the mud.
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I was like, really?
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And I go, yeah.
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I think they re like 750 winning percentage in rainy games.
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Ah.
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Ah, I didn t know that.
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Yeah, OK.
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Logs it away.
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I think we re doing a bit.
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Right, right, right.
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There s no way.
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How do I know that stuff?
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Yeah.
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A week later, and no one s like, you cost me 35 grand.
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I m like, doing what?
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What do you mean?
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Cincinnati, University of Cincinnati in a month.
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What?
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You said they were really good and raining, raining.
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You bet on, I was joking.
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And you bet that much?
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Why are you telling me that amount too?
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That s like when Norm asked Lovitz for, give me $200 so they re playing a casino.
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Oh, that s funny.
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You know, he s like, John s like, okay.
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So the next day- No, lend it.
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SPEAKER_04
Huh?
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Lend, lend.
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And he goes, yeah.
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And then Lovitz s like, can I get my money back?
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And he goes, no, no, I lost it.
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I lost all of it.
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He goes, why are you mad?
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I lost $8,000.
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Yeah, he goes, you only lost 200.
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You only lost 200.
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We love Norm.
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There was only one Norm.
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He was amazing.
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A comedy genius.
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The first Ferns I saw... These Ferns are like tall pine trees by now.
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When I saw the first one, I didn t know what it was.
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Someone just sent it to me and said, look at this.
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And so I thought it was a real interview.
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And then it was Natalie Portman, who I love.
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And so I was...
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Of course in a jealous rage immediately and then and then you were saying some of you had great jokes and that I won t repeat him because I m not good at that but But you said so many Joe and it was so and for her to play along and I thought it was real for a while and then I go Jesus this is so weird and then
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It took me a while to figure it out, too long.
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And then so I started going, oh, this is great.
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And then when you would do them, you obviously didn t overdo it.
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You didn t do too many.
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They weren t super long.
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It was just a great, great bit that lives out there on the Internet, which everyone should see.
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I don t know where I m going with this.
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Dana, jump in.
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Would you like to say anything in your defense, Zach?
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Speaking of that one, that one we shot in a garage.
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I think we shot that one in a garage.
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Right around here, right in Hollywood somewhere.
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The thing about that one is...
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There s a line in it, not to be vulgar, but it s something about, did you shave your, okay.
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SPEAKER_00
Can we hear it?
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She was in V for Vendetta.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
And then there s a punchline.
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SPEAKER_00
Did you shave your V for a vagina or something?
1
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That one caught me off guard to Natalie Portman in a garage.
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SPEAKER_00
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_00
In a garage.
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In a garage with loose tools about.
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SPEAKER_00
By the way, I barely understand that joke.
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SPEAKER_00
Like, I know, I think I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
It sounds funny, but it sounds funny.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think it s the fact that I m asking.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
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So anyway, she was if I remember correctly, she was quite good with the whole thing.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then we sent it to her just to, you know, show it to her.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I had asked that joke to be left out of it.
1
SPEAKER_00
I said, can you edit that out?
1
SPEAKER_00
We ll send it to her.
1
SPEAKER_00
And her note was, where s that vagina joke?
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, I love it.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if that was the exact note.
1
SPEAKER_00
Where is the vagina joke?
1
SPEAKER_00
Something like something.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
By the way, there s a dog on the hip meter.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, she s unreal.
1
SPEAKER_03
But there s a dog that you keep cutting to, which is even funnier.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that was I think that was a real dog rolls over his back.
1
SPEAKER_03
And then when something dies or just sits there, then they cut over the dog.
1
SPEAKER_03
All right.
1
SPEAKER_03
So it all works.
1
SPEAKER_03
And then I Sean Penn won.
1
SPEAKER_03
Sean looked very cool in that one.
1
SPEAKER_03
Huh.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I d be scared of that one.
1
SPEAKER_03
And then, uh, John Penkin.
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SPEAKER_04
Yeah, I had a fight with him.
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SPEAKER_04
I was in a dress at the time, but, you know, he said me harder.
1
SPEAKER_04
He said, you can hit me harder.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, no problem.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I hit him.
1
SPEAKER_00
I would like to one day talk to him about the one we did.
1
SPEAKER_00
They bring it up because it was it was an interesting it was an interesting day.
1
SPEAKER_04
Well, was was he truly upset or was he?
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SPEAKER_00
He was very great.
1
SPEAKER_00
He was very quiet.
1
SPEAKER_00
He s a good actor.
1
SPEAKER_00
So he or he s a good actor.
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SPEAKER_00
And I I think he may have been ready to be in real life.
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SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
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SPEAKER_00
Maybe he was doing a method thing.
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SPEAKER_00
And I don t.
1
SPEAKER_04
So he he held it so serious that you weren t sure if he was serious.
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SPEAKER_04
He might have been.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
And and and.
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SPEAKER_00
I have worked with him.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I not that I know him, but, you know, he has a good sense of humor.
1
SPEAKER_00
He really does.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
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SPEAKER_00
Huge laugher.
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SPEAKER_00
And it loves to go see stand up.
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SPEAKER_00
But I in that moment.
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SPEAKER_00
It was odd.
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SPEAKER_00
I remember watching that.
1
SPEAKER_04
Was it something you, was it a line that you gave him?
1
SPEAKER_03
You said something, weren t you playing your brother or something in that movie?
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SPEAKER_00
I was playing this overly, well it s not really over the top, there are people like this in the South.
1
SPEAKER_00
Really into him for the wrong reasons type person.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay, and how does that guy talk?
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SPEAKER_00
Well, it s based on a character I used to do in high school called the... I think his name was... Oh, the effeminate racist.
1
SPEAKER_00
I remember that Skittles.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
So it s just a guy that talks like this.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so friends of mine that were black in high school would bump me in the hallway so this character would be released.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I would say to them, my mom told me not to talk to black people.
1
SPEAKER_00
And they would die laughing because they understood at the time that I was mocking it all.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know, so that s where that came from, that was as simple as that.
1
SPEAKER_03
Well, there was something, Dana, where he goes, Sean, and he s doing this, and he s sort of prodding, he goes, did you get into, I d get into Hollywood just so you could go to all the parties and all the wrong reasons that Sean wouldn t want.
1
SPEAKER_03
Sean is very funny, and unlike his persona out there, and so I like that he s going along with it, but he was so serious, then he goes,
1
SPEAKER_03
I could walk over there and knock you the fuck out right now.
1
SPEAKER_03
And even I was like, God damn, he gave that a good reading.
1
SPEAKER_04
I think he knew it was funny and interesting.
1
SPEAKER_04
I think he was playing.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was good.
1
SPEAKER_04
I don t think he was offended.
1
SPEAKER_04
I d like to ask him.
1
SPEAKER_04
We haven t spoken since.
1
SPEAKER_04
His kids and my kids went to school together, or at least played sports together up in Northern California.
1
SPEAKER_04
So I ll talk to Sean.
1
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, ask him.
1
SPEAKER_04
Ask him.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m curious.
1
SPEAKER_04
Can you fix it?
1
SPEAKER_04
Hey, man.
1
SPEAKER_04
I want to smoke.
1
SPEAKER_04
If you could smoke and not get diseases, I would definitely be smoking right now.
1
SPEAKER_04
There s nothing cooler, right?
1
SPEAKER_04
It s like, tell us some more, Zach.
1
SPEAKER_04
Anyway, can we go back to you as a young person, then?
1
SPEAKER_04
Like, you strike me as like an introverted extrovert, like you re shy in a way.
1
SPEAKER_04
I think we are, maybe.
1
SPEAKER_04
Well, I think I am.
1
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_04
Well, it doesn t matter.
1
SPEAKER_04
Anyway.
1
SPEAKER_04
But then you have this powerhouse thing that comes out like in high school.
1
SPEAKER_04
Did you go to theater group or are you just funny with friends or what were you like in grade school, high school, just walking around?
1
SPEAKER_00
Just walking around.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, you know, I think I was somewhat quiet, but I think I mean, humor in my family was
1
SPEAKER_00
seen in very high regard.
1
SPEAKER_00
So my cousins and my brother and my my my family is funny, you know, I kind
2
SPEAKER_04
I kind of watched them, even as the quiet person I thought I was, or I think I was.
2
SPEAKER_04
So I was kind of this more observant kid that thought maybe one day I could, through my observations, maybe make a thing out of it.
2
SPEAKER_02
And you were thinking that at age eight, 10, 12?
2
SPEAKER_02
I mean, but young, young, you got the idea, maybe you would do this for a living.
2
SPEAKER_04
This is going to sound weird, but it was at my parents  conception of me.
2
SPEAKER_02
Doesn t sound weird at all.
2
SPEAKER_02
My ultrasound, I was killing.
2
SPEAKER_02
My brother Brad, I ve got three older brothers, he swears he remembers being born.
2
SPEAKER_02
And he s serious.
2
SPEAKER_02
Really?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, he has a photographic memory, he just remembers being born.
2
SPEAKER_03
I m not kidding, Brad, the guy who based Garth on.
2
SPEAKER_03
But being funny younger really pays off, and I think that s for all of us.
2
SPEAKER_03
Like, at dinner or at school, like I was at a school that was, I was a little bit of a pipsqueak, hard to believe.
2
SPEAKER_03
Always bullied and pushed around.
2
SPEAKER_03
But if you could, I would quietly say jokes to my friends or under my breath.
2
SPEAKER_03
But that kind of if you get a little something, that s all I had.
2
SPEAKER_03
I wasn t super athletic.
2
SPEAKER_03
I was.
2
SPEAKER_03
So if you have some little hook like that, you go, oh, my dad thought it was funny.
2
SPEAKER_03
You know, people think it s funny.
2
SPEAKER_03
And then you go and then you try to maybe that s kind of like that for a lot of comedians.
2
SPEAKER_03
The tall guys didn t have to do anything to get the girls.
2
SPEAKER_02
We on a bio evolutionary level, we had to be funny.
2
SPEAKER_03
Zach, you re not that short, you re... I m around 6 2 .
2
SPEAKER_02
I m gonna break down just for my own amusement.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, sure, sure, sure.
2
SPEAKER_01
James is awesome, Trump, because I think that the way you do it is like free association jazz, and I know you can... I wanted to say that a podcast clip of mine that I think
2
SPEAKER_01
I think it caught on with like Seth Meyers and his group of friends, because it was Trump talking about 2000s New York alt comedy.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was like I had been doing Trump, and our guest Whit Thomas was like, hey, weren t you a comic back then in the 2000s in New York?
2
SPEAKER_00
I d be like, oh yeah, there s, you know what, it was so wonderful to be with comedy.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know what, with comedy, it was never about the shows.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was never about the shows.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was about the diner afterwards.
2
SPEAKER_00
We loved diner.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I would, I d be eating pancakes.
2
SPEAKER_00
Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
2
SPEAKER_00
He s a little tamer back then.
2
SPEAKER_00
Excuse me, can I talk please?
2
SPEAKER_00
She s not giving me any moment to talk.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m eating pancakes with Patrice O Neill and I just can t believe that I get to do this every night.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s so wonderful, greatest city on earth.
2
SPEAKER_00
You do Gotham and you do Rafifi and you do, maybe you get a spot at the Boston or something and a couple dollars in your pocket and you say, oh this is a pretty good gig.
2
SPEAKER_00
I made 300 bucks tonight, you know, maybe buy a PlayStation or go to Gap.
2
SPEAKER_02
There s so much detail in that.
2
SPEAKER_02
And you did the little breath thing.
2
SPEAKER_02
Here, I ll give you a, I ll read these as myself.
2
SPEAKER_02
Like, these are just Trump things that you ve incorporated with Free Association.
2
SPEAKER_02
I bet you never wrote these down or anything, but I watched your thing.
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay, frankly, let me tell you, you re gonna be seeing a lot of it.
2
SPEAKER_02
That I can tell you.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that I can tell you, that I can tell you.
2
SPEAKER_00
Let me tell you, frankly.
2
SPEAKER_00
Frankly.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay, let me tell you.
2
SPEAKER_00
If you can read those.
2
SPEAKER_00
Frankly, let me tell you, you re going to be seeing a lot of it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Excuse me.
2
SPEAKER_00
Excuse me.
2
SPEAKER_00
I can tell you that.
2
SPEAKER_00
That I can tell you.
2
SPEAKER_00
I can tell you that.
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, when you look at, I mean, when you look at, when you, I mean, when you look at, yeah, that connector phrase, ask me something that I, so you re gonna be a reporter, you re gonna ask the real Trump a question he doesn t have an answer to.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I m just gonna not have an answer to it.
2
SPEAKER_02
Right, so do you think we re gonna increase exporting natural gas to Europe?
2
SPEAKER_00
I mean, when you look at what China s doing in terms of e-sports,
2
SPEAKER_00
I mean, really, when you look, I think when you look at all of it, if you look at gas, I mean, gas is one thing, but frankly, when you re looking at all the rest of it, I can tell you that, I mean, when you look at what they re doing with, and look at what the Democrats have told us.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I love it.
2
SPEAKER_00
The way that he can.
2
SPEAKER_01
He ll just spin it off into his mesmerizing way of talking in some other place.
2
SPEAKER_01
Flip the page, there s more if you want to see.
2
SPEAKER_01
I had to write it.
2
SPEAKER_00
And it didn t work out so great for some of those people.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it didn t work out so great for some of those people.
2
SPEAKER_01
I love that one.
2
SPEAKER_01
Man, I mean, we were all listening to his voice for four and a half hours every day for like five years.
2
SPEAKER_02
You re the one who put it all together, you know, and then you made it into this supernatural.
2
SPEAKER_02
And look at what they re doing.
2
SPEAKER_00
Let s see.
2
SPEAKER_00
Look at all of it, frankly, look at all of it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Look at all of it.
2
SPEAKER_00
And people are very disappointed.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like you wouldn t believe.
2
SPEAKER_00
People are very disappointed like you wouldn t believe.
2
SPEAKER_00
There is a level of disappointment that would make your head spin, frankly.
2
SPEAKER_00
There s so much disappointment.
2
SPEAKER_00
And people are angry.
2
SPEAKER_01
What people?
2
SPEAKER_01
What are they angry about?
2
SPEAKER_01
It never matters.
2
SPEAKER_03
He always says anybody.
2
SPEAKER_03
He says someone.
2
SPEAKER_03
And a lot of people are saying very bad things about someone.
2
SPEAKER_03
You re hearing it more and more all the time.
2
It s all very and none.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s vague and it goes into a corner.
2
SPEAKER_01
Terrible deal a really bad bad deal.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re seeing it all over the place.
2
SPEAKER_00
Many people are saying okay You re seeing it all over the place many people and they re saying we don t want that.
2
SPEAKER_00
We re not people.
2
SPEAKER_00
We re not people who want that We re not people we are going to be doing something very soon we are gonna be doing something about it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Nobody knows Nobody knows
2
SPEAKER_01
Nobody knows, my favorite was when he was at the rallies during the height of COVID.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he was like, and they can t even tell you what the 19 stands for.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s literally 2020.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s 2020, and I m like, context clues, what do you think the 19 probably stands for?
2
SPEAKER_01
The 2019 version of the virus?
2
SPEAKER_03
I think that was all I had, but what do you guys want?
2
SPEAKER_03
He does say words like, old-fashioned words like terrific and fantastic, things like your dad says, your grandmother, that aren t in the vernacular as much anymore, but it just, he keeps throwing them in there, it s so, it reminds you that he s
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he s 75 and it s the mix of the old-timey language and the old-timey way of thinking and speaking about people, but he s obsessed with something rude that Lady Gaga said about him on
2
SPEAKER_01
A radio show or something.
2
SPEAKER_00
Lady Gaga was very, very rude.
2
SPEAKER_00
Not nice.
2
SPEAKER_00
And she was, she was not, she was not nice.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was also the kindergartner thing of just like breaking down what would have been a more elegant phrase with another presidential candidate and just breaking it down to like the caveman fragment.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, not nice, very big.
2
SPEAKER_00
Stone cold loser.
2
SPEAKER_01
Stone, is it stone cold or is it?
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, that s the, that s where you get the 80s wrestler thing.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because there s a little bit of 80s wrestler to it, too.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, WWE.
2
SPEAKER_02
Now, you do something, a little birdie told me, you do something where someone could give you a famous TV show and you could talk about it as Trump.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I can do that.
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, since they don t think this is not pre-planned, do you guys yell out any kind of famous TV show?
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay, there s 200.
2
SPEAKER_03
What did you hear?
2
SPEAKER_01
I can t, the A-team.
2
SPEAKER_01
The A-team?
2
SPEAKER_01
The Wonder Years?
2
SPEAKER_00
Anything you ve heard of.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know what, with Winnie Cooper, she was very beautiful.
2
SPEAKER_00
But I don t think that Mr. Savage, you know, Mr. Savage just needed to wait his turn.
2
SPEAKER_00
I think that he needed to wait his turn with Winnie, because Winnie wasn t ready for what they were doing with Wendy.
2
SPEAKER_00
And Joe Cocker is such an awful person when you meet him.
2
SPEAKER_00
With Joe Cocker, that is someone who needs a little bit more help from his friends, I think.
2
SPEAKER_00
Think he probably had to you know what they said that he got high with the help of his friends I said what kind of friends are that if they re helping you with drugs and they re helping you and you look at China you look at what they re doing with Russia what they re doing with Honestly what they re doing in Austin, Texas is absolutely awful
2
SPEAKER_00
i think it s such a terrible thing with the segways and the river and the bats you know those bats shit everywhere those bats are shitting on all of it and i said i was looking around they show me the bridge and i said we got to do something about this bat problem gotta do something about the bats because and you know what they call it guano did you ever hear that they call it guano have you ever heard that i said what the hell is guano and they said it s what they call
3
SPEAKER_00
call the poop and they poop straight down the front of their breast you know they poop and you see the poop on there like what does it go in their mouths so we ve been talking to Dracula we re talking to Frankenstein we re gonna do something about the bats because the bats frankly should be sleeping horizontally
3
SPEAKER_00
And this whole thing that Joe, you know, Joe Biden and Kamala, they want the bats to be hanging upside down.
3
SPEAKER_00
They want you to be eating bats every night.
3
SPEAKER_01
There needs to be a brazen claim about what the Democrats, something the Democrats aren t doing.
3
SPEAKER_01
But, but there s like a, there s like a, I mean, come on.
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, that was all from the wonder years.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
They were always talking about China on The Wonder Years, I remember.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know, it was Savage.
3
SPEAKER_00
Savage was... Savage was very involved with everything that was going on with China, with... in terms of... China.
3
SPEAKER_00
Wall, and with regard to microchips and supply chain.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it s really awful.
3
SPEAKER_00
With Steve Jobs and all of it, I think it s terrible.
3
SPEAKER_02
I think it s terrible.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s like you don t really need like joke jokes.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s just the rhythm and the references are so funny.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I mean, I don t like, you know, I just listen to this for hours.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I just love the flow of it.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s how he led us for four years is because it is fun to hear him talk.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s fun to hear whether you like him or not, like whatever your politics are.
3
SPEAKER_02
You re right.
3
SPEAKER_01
You will probably be hypnotized by the weird rhythmic way that he speaks.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it works.
3
SPEAKER_01
It does work.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like how he ll just repeat, you re going to be winning, winning like you wouldn t believe it.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s going to be so good.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like you just believe it because he said it 20 times in a row.
3
SPEAKER_00
Within within one minute within one minute.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s gonna be so you re not gonna be so good.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s gonna be incredible Frankly, it s gonna be very very good.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like yeah, so I understand why my grandpa who was like hardcore conservative You know who would never have voted for a Trump in his life but the minute that Trump was on TV 24-7 if you just hear I m going to be amazing at this and
3
SPEAKER_01
over and over and over again.
3
SPEAKER_01
And the people that hated him gave him the most air time.
3
SPEAKER_01
They re like, can you believe that he s saying this?
3
SPEAKER_02
I m like, you probably... They call it the Trump bump on CNN.
3
SPEAKER_02
They got a million, a billion net per year.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it s just fun to hear him talk and it s mesmerizing and it works.
3
SPEAKER_02
You re going to like this one.
3
SPEAKER_02
Because you know, you didn t really lean on it much, but in the beginning, I remember in the classic comic sense of the idiot.
3
SPEAKER_02
So like there s Jerry Lewis is like the king.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then I remember you would do the hunched over guy and he would do that sound.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like, where did that guy come from?
3
SPEAKER_02
Because that instantly made me laugh so hard because you were so committed.
3
SPEAKER_05
I don t even know, man.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s very musical.
3
SPEAKER_02
Can you do more?
3
SPEAKER_05
It always felt good in a microphone.
3
SPEAKER_05
I don t even know if that ever got on the air, if I ever did that.
3
SPEAKER_02
I just remember seeing that and really loving it.
3
SPEAKER_02
But there s one character I want to break down, unless David has a question.
3
SPEAKER_02
Because I m sure.
3
SPEAKER_02
Go ahead.
3
SPEAKER_02
We re really close friends.
3
SPEAKER_02
The Opera Man, the evolution of Opera Man.
3
SPEAKER_02
Opera Man.
3
SPEAKER_02
That then became the indestructible killer bit of all time.
3
SPEAKER_02
By the time you got it on the update desk, with the pictures, and you were mixing.
3
SPEAKER_02
Great wig.
3
SPEAKER_02
Good wig, good look.
3
SPEAKER_02
So, Adam, I ll let you, but talk about the origins of that and the way you did it, and then the way you ended up doing it.
3
SPEAKER_02
It evolved, right?
3
SPEAKER_02
Gotcha, yes, it did, right, yes.
3
SPEAKER_05
Okay, go ahead.
3
SPEAKER_05
That s my question.
3
SPEAKER_05
Thank you.
3
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, that s a good question.
3
SPEAKER_05
And I remember you, you knew the guy.
3
SPEAKER_05
So there was a man on the street who used to sing opera on the street.
3
SPEAKER_05
He used to hold the can up and you d be walking down the street and he d kind of come at you and go, and he d sing really hot and he d charge you.
3
SPEAKER_05
And you d be like, Oh, you give him money and didn t know that.
3
SPEAKER_05
That s kind of where I first started.
3
SPEAKER_03
I love that.
3
SPEAKER_03
I didn t know that.
3
SPEAKER_03
I met that guy at a McDonald s.
3
SPEAKER_03
He wasn t singing, though.
3
SPEAKER_03
He s in between sets.
3
SPEAKER_03
Adam, what would a guy like that be ordering at McDonald s?
3
SPEAKER_03
Hey, barbecue sauce.
3
SPEAKER_03
The thing that you can sound exactly opera is one more gift on SNL.
3
SPEAKER_03
If you can have a voice, if they write a singing sketch,
3
SPEAKER_03
Obviously, Adam wrote a lot of his own, but if they d write someone to sing, you can get in.
3
SPEAKER_03
If you can play an instrument, you can get in.
3
SPEAKER_03
There s so many things that you can do.
3
SPEAKER_03
Dance.
3
SPEAKER_03
I didn t do a lot of those things, which was kind of a drag, but Adam can sing so well and actually write songs, and actually write songs that are catchy, because a lot of those things you don t update were actually really catchy on top of just being funny.
3
SPEAKER_03
And so that combo is big.
3
SPEAKER_03
And that opera man was a fucking cruncher.
3
SPEAKER_03
That always killed.
3
SPEAKER_03
That was a gift from the Turner s.
3
SPEAKER_02
Didn t you do it off
3
SPEAKER_05
in on the stage next update initially no i first time i did it it was just gibberish it was like it was a theater thing and i think maybe you or was it phil that s what i remember i don t know if i remember this right you maybe you but i was in my office yes that s it adam used to go around the office
3
SPEAKER_02
on all fours.
3
SPEAKER_02
So then I hear a little knock, and I m in my office.
3
SPEAKER_02
So I open it up, and you re on all fours.
3
SPEAKER_02
You go, oh.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then you were asking me to do something, introduce Opera Man, right?
3
SPEAKER_02
So I did remember that.
3
SPEAKER_05
You were like a theater guy would say, tonight, the Opera Man is something like, goes from the emotion of trying to catch the bus.
3
SPEAKER_04
but unfortunately he misses the bus but then he sees his mother you know is behind the bus and picks him up let s watch the opera man
3
SPEAKER_04
And then I d see my mother and be like, oh yeah sure.
3
SPEAKER_04
Something like that.
3
SPEAKER_04
And that was it.
3
SPEAKER_04
And it did good.
3
SPEAKER_04
It did good at the table.
3
SPEAKER_03
It did good.
3
SPEAKER_03
You know, Sandler, it s good if you, a trick on SNL is if, if Adam was probably slightly newer then, but if you anchor it with Dana, who they love, and then he brings you on and then they go, Dana seems to like it.
3
SPEAKER_03
And then they start to like the new guy.
3
SPEAKER_03
It helps when you re new.
3
SPEAKER_05
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_05
No, it was Dana s the best at it.
3
SPEAKER_05
So that s what it was.
3
SPEAKER_05
But anyways, it did fine.
3
SPEAKER_05
It was up at the table.
3
SPEAKER_05
It did well.
3
SPEAKER_05
Everybody remember after a while they started liking us at the table when David and I first were on us and at the table and we try to get on and we do full skits for ourselves.
3
SPEAKER_05
Everybody else was kind of like, calm down.
3
SPEAKER_05
That s enough, guys.
3
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, that s enough.
3
SPEAKER_03
Not yet.
3
SPEAKER_03
Not yet.
3
SPEAKER_03
Not yet.
3
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_05
Right.
3
SPEAKER_05
But then by this time, they were like, all right, give him a shot.
3
SPEAKER_05
And then we did that and it didn t do great.
3
SPEAKER_05
So Lauren didn t put it on.
3
SPEAKER_05
But then the Turners out of nowhere, Bonnie and Terry Turner.
3
SPEAKER_02
Great writers.
3
SPEAKER_02
They wrote for the show for eight, nine years.
3
SPEAKER_02
Wayne s World.
3
SPEAKER_02
Wayne s World.
3
SPEAKER_02
You and Mike.
3
SPEAKER_03
They wrote the first Tommy Boy draft.
3
SPEAKER_03
What s that?
3
SPEAKER_03
They wrote the first draft of Tommy Boy.
3
SPEAKER_03
That s right.
3
SPEAKER_03
Tommy Boy.
3
SPEAKER_03
That s right.
3
SPEAKER_03
They were, they were monsters.
3
SPEAKER_03
I don t even know why we don t hear about, talk about them more.
3
SPEAKER_03
They had some huge sketches.
3
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You guys should have them on this show.
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Yeah, I d love it.
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We d love to.
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Yeah, they re great.
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Hi, Bonnie.
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Hi, Terry.
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Hello, guys.
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In case they re listening to this when it s released.
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But they wrote what?
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What we said.
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And Lindsay.
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And Lindsay, their daughter.
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Their daughter, Lindsay.
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Yes.
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And, but, but anyways, they wrote this thing and they talked to me.
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I was in my office.
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They were like, so remember that Opera Man thing you did?
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We came up with an idea for the news and they showed it to me and I m so
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I was just so dumb and young and whatever I was, and I was like, yeah, I guess.
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I guess we could try it that way.
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It was Opera Man on the news that he said?
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Opera Man on the news.
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Doing the news.
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Showing current events and then me singing about him and blah, blah, blah.
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And I didn t really... I was like, no, Opera Man speaks gibberish and that doesn t make any sense.
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You don t understand Opera Man.
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So then it became a divorce, so how would you know, you would do current events with like Trumbo.
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Yeah, exactly.
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And it would just crush.
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That was all those guys wrote it.
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I got to be it.
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They would give me the melodies and Cheryl would write Cheryl on it.
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Yeah, and they would just give me all the goods and I mean it was the greatest gift ever.
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That was a home run.
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I got to wear the... Did you do it with Eddie Vedder or not?
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Did you sing like Eddie Vedder once?
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I sang like Eddie Vedder.
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Was it as an opera man or was it something else?
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Opera man singing about Pearl Jam, yeah.
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And then, yeah, yeah.
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And remember when, I think they were even on the show, Pearl Jam, that night.
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Oh, that s right.
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But anyways.
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So what would he say?
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A veteran?
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I mean, you ve got the pipes, kid.
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No, you were going, hey, I made a concrete door.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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But you sound exactly like him.
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I can t do it now.
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I know any better.
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It s a certain thing he does.
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He s got a thicker, lower voice than any of us.
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His voice is unreal.
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Yeah, it s a juicy voice.
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We share an office, me and Farley, and then you walk through our office to get to Adam and Chris Rock.
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So when the door was closed, I d hear, oh, oh, oh, hurry.
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I m like, oh my God, he s got a killer cooking in there.
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It s in the oven.
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We all got excited when we landed on a good impression.
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But I did one with Lovitz, an opera man with Lovitz.
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Oh, that was great.
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He can sing great.
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And that was a perfect, only other guy who could do it besides you, because he s got pipes and he s just a funny, so that was a killer.
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That was amazing.
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He played your brother or something?
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It was Glenn Close and Lovis and maybe they were my parents.
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I don t remember.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Only on Saturday Night Live.
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Can we, I d like, I could go anywhere.
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It s so much fun.
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I want to ask about when he does bits when you get to bring in one of the musical stars.
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I think McCartney did Red Hood.
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Oh, that was the
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great god damn farley did something with him you did something with him i left just right before mccartney hosted you you weren t there then i missed it i was a fool you know he was upset you know because we d met at 86 and lauren at lauren s house he called me up you i don t know why you didn t stick around then you know
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We could have had a plunker.
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We d be plunking, looking at each other.
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I go, who is this?
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Nobody.
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I miss that, but you got to do a thing.
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What did you do with Paul McCartney?
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It was Red Otis, White Shirt.
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I wrote it with Ian Maxton Graham and I forget who else, somebody else.
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And we,
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And we had, you know, I had dip, dip, dip and shabba, shabba, ding, ding and stuff like that.
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I say it.
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And then as it progressed, Kevin, maybe Kevin Nealon did it with me.
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And then I said, let s call out Paul and Linda and Paul and Linda McCartney.
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We wrote it for him.
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And then Lauren said,
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I said, will they do it?
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He goes, well, you have to talk to them.
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And so I went to Lauren s office, they were eating.
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They were on the show or they were just visiting?
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They were, Paul was the guest.
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Okay.
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And Linda was with them.
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You walk in and you have to convince them.
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I just like had to come in with the dopey guitar and be like, my heart s pounding through my chest.
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Did you crawl in or did you walk?
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A little skip.
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That was when you were going to pitch it.
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Remember you d skip across?
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No, I m making that up.
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Sorry, go ahead.
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So you walk in there.
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I mean, Lauren s eating Chun-Li Chinese.
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Chun-Li, I love it.
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And Paul and Linda there.
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Linda s amazingly nice and Paul s amazingly nice and I sing them the little thing.
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And they laughed.
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And then I left.
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And then I was like, I don t know if that worked or not.
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But then they said yes.
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And forever, I got that.
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I sang with them, hung out with them after the show, hung out.
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Stella was there.
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Remember Stella was a kid.
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She came to the show.
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Stella McCartney, the fashion designer.
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Yes.
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And she was such a nice kid.
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She was like our age then, you know, like whatever we were.
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And I yeah, let s keep the numbers out of it.
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I saw him Discipline his kids on Long Island went over to his house.
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And you know, I think James had a little toy sword a plaster He dropped it down in his sister and Paul goes you do that one more time.
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We re gonna have a problem Some comic said
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He was the first one with a billion dollars.
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And they go, you know, if he lost his wallet in a cab and there was 500 million in it, he d still have 500 million dollars.
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That was some conversation.
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But do you remember when Farley s brothers came to the show and McCartney was on that stupid story where Paul looked the same as Paul McCartney growing up, but he had a little bit of gray here.
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And so Farley s brothers were standing there with red cups.
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There was no security.
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So the music comes out of their dressing room, walks by the 8H
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page desk you know that and they walk right into the show and they go Paul McCartney one minute till you re on live and so you see he comes out with a bodyguard on the front and back and he walks out with his guitar and it s fucking Paul McCartney I m there with Farley s uh idiot brothers and they re all drunk and he comes around and they go and one of them goes hey Paul and he looks over he goes getting a little gray and he goes
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I remember that, man.
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He walks out and I go, are you an idiot?
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He goes, eh, he looked.
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And then he goes on the monitor and they re like 15 seconds and he looks in the monitor and he goes like this.
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He got his head right before he went out.
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Oh, no.
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And you know, he s like, is mine?
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And then anyway, so I will say one of my proudest moments, because sometimes Adam and I would try to write together or we would all try to think of excuses to all be in the same sketch or whatever.
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And the one I like the best is the Gap Girls when we were.
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in the wall in the mall and then Farley says lay off me I m starving that is one of the funnest ones we ever did and Schneider was in it and Sarah Gilbert was a host oh yeah and uh we were all uh that was just the fun for me because
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we would all just rehearse.
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So you write it, if it gets in, you laugh at read through, you laugh when we talk about who plays what parts and what we say, and then- You really wrote all that stuff though.
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I know, but then everyone adds jokes, whatever you want, and then we got to do it on... So you have to rehearse all week or once or twice.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you get to be together rehearsing.
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And that s a good reason to hang out, is to rehearse.
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Yeah, that was amazing.
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Does everyone know about the Gap Girls?
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Because there s a young audience.
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SPEAKER_02
Wow, okay.
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Because there s some younger people here.
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It was just a sketch where we all worked at the Gap, we played girls, and it was infuriating.
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And how did you talk?
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Whatever!
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That s right.
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Yeah, we re like, weren t you at the folding meeting?
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Yeah, and I went to the Gap and studied it, and they showed up, they put a clipboard in the sweaters and pulled them out and folded them up, mesmerized.
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And then they would actually, this is when you feel kind of like a big deal, because if you get a sketch on and you re just some doofus from Arizona, and it s like a dumb sketch about the Gap, and then when they bring, the sketch is written and it s put up on its feet,
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They talk to the Gap and brought a whole section of the Gap over.
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They had a security guard.
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It would cost so much.
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It was real pants, real sweaters, and it was just a chunk of the Gap.
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They moved in and the Gap liked it because it was free advertising, even though we made them all look like morons.
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It was still really fun.
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And then we all hung out there and would practice in there, rehearse, whatever it s called.
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And it was great.
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So we did a couple of those.
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We did Gapperty.
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It was Jeopardy.
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It was just a fun way for me, you, and Farley to be in sketches.
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Yeah.
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This has been a podcast presentation of Cadence 13.
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Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes.
4
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Available now for free wherever you get your podcasts.
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No joke, folks.
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Fly on the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13, executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corcoran of Cadence 13, and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment.
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The show s lead producer is Greg Holtzman with production and engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Basil of Cadence 13.