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Get emotional with me, Radhi Devlukia, in my new podcast, A Really Good Cry.
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We re going to be talking with some of my best friends.
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people that I admire.
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Now you re talking about sympathy, which is different than empathy.
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Listen to A Really Good Cry with Radhi Devlukia on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine, hosted by me, Danielle Robay.
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I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side.
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Listen to The Bright Side on America s number one podcast network, iHeart.
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Something that makes me crazy is when people say, well, I had this career before, but it was a waste.
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And that s where the perspective shift comes, that it s not a waste, that everything you ve done has built you to where you are now.
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This is She Pivots, the podcast where we explore the inspiring pivots women have made and dig deeper into the personal reasons behind them.
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Join me, Emily Tish Sussman, every Wednesday on She Pivots.
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Listen to She Pivots on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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I grew up in a world where it s so competitive.
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SPEAKER_04
Even if I m not the most talented, I m the hardest worker.
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Until you re burnt out and you don t have anything else to give, and then what?
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SPEAKER_04
Look, I m trying to talk to you about a job opportunity.
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Do I look unemployed to you?
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SPEAKER_02
You are emerging in Hollywood in such a real way.
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SPEAKER_03
Give it up for La La!
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SPEAKER_04
When my whole marriage came crumbling down and I was in that bed, I was there by myself.
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SPEAKER_04
Nobody gets married and says, I m getting divorced.
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SPEAKER_04
You get married because you feel like you found your person and this is what the rest of your life is going to be like.
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What can I do?
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I have to adjust.
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Before we jump into this episode, I d like to invite you to join this community to hear more interviews that will help you become happier, healthier, and more healed.
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All I want you to do is click on the subscribe button.
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I love your support.
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It s incredible to see all your comments and we re just getting started.
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I can t wait to go on this journey with you.
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Thank you so much for subscribing.
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It means the world to me.
0
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Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose.
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SPEAKER_07
Thank you so much for trusting me with your ears and eyes and for spending your valuable time here to listen, learn, and grow.
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Today s guest is someone that we ve had on the show before, but she came on the show so early on as an avid supporter, someone who is cheering me on.
0
SPEAKER_07
I was so grateful to have that conversation.
0
SPEAKER_07
Clips of it have gone viral over the years again and again and again, and I m so grateful that I get to sit down again with her right now in New York City
0
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Lala is an actress, producer, New York Times best-selling author and entrepreneur.
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Lala is best known for her role on the hit show Power, which wrapped its sixth and final season on Starz in 2020.
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SPEAKER_07
Lala joined the cast of Showtime s The Chi in 2020 and later received an NAACP Image Award nomination in the Outstanding Guest Performance category in 2022.
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Lala has teamed up with Issa Rae to executive produce the forthcoming horror comedy for Universal Pictures Juju.
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SPEAKER_07
Please welcome to the show, Lala.
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SPEAKER_07
Lala, thank you so much for doing this, honestly.
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SPEAKER_04
I will always show up for you.
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SPEAKER_07
You literally, like you came on the show when like I don t even know anyone knew what the show was and you, I think we just connected online and we started messaging and
0
SPEAKER_07
I was so grateful when you came on and since then we ve stayed in touch.
0
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, we ve always stayed in touch.
0
SPEAKER_04
Thank you.
0
SPEAKER_04
I always say you re my friend and someone I could depend on and you always say the right things.
0
SPEAKER_04
You just said something to me right now, I was like, I needed to hear that.
0
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I needed to hear that.
0
SPEAKER_04
Today s been sometimes one of those days and I was like, I needed that.
0
SPEAKER_04
You always know exactly what to say.
0
SPEAKER_07
You re very sweet and I appreciate that.
0
SPEAKER_07
Let s start there actually.
0
SPEAKER_07
One thing I ve been encouraging my friends to do, people that I love, people I care about, is reflecting on difficult things they ve got through.
0
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Difficult things they ve broken through because I think often we do a lot of difficult things and I realized this through my mom actually.
0
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So my mom is a superwoman.
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She has done so many difficult things in her life but she sees them as normal.
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So she never stops to think, oh I m powerful and I m strong.
0
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It s just a part of life.
0
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So what s something difficult or hard that you ve done in the last 12 months or recently that you want to take a moment to just honor yourself for?
0
SPEAKER_04
That is so nice.
0
SPEAKER_04
I should honor myself.
0
SPEAKER_04
Learning that healing is messy.
0
SPEAKER_04
That s something that I m dealing with and it comes and goes.
0
SPEAKER_04
It s not always there, but understanding that there s no time limit on healing and giving myself credit for healing and going through everything that I ve been through.
0
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And learning that I don t always have to act like everything s OK if it s not.
0
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I have a tendency to do that.
0
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Like, it s one thing to not let people see you sweat, which I do understand that.
0
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And you don t need to put all your business on social media or whatever, but it s OK to feel things and understand that healing is messy.
0
SPEAKER_04
So my mom sent me something recently that was like, you know, be kind to yourself, give yourself grace, because healing is messy.
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As soon as you think like, oh, I m done with that, I m over that, all of a sudden it s like,
0
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Well, why is it still making me feel like that?
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Or you hear something or see something and like, why am I still a little bothered by that?
0
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And I hear you talk about this, you know, there s no like timeframe, like, okay, once it s been two months, you re done with whatever the difficult thing was, you shouldn t even be thinking about it anymore.
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Could be years and
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something can still pop up and trigger you or whatever and being kind to yourself during those periods.
0
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So I want to honor myself for just finally understanding healing is messy and not being so hard on myself on certain things to not say, you should have been done with that already.
0
SPEAKER_04
Why are you still thinking about that?
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Or why did that still bother you?
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It s life.
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We re human.
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We have feelings.
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Things happen.
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As you said when you walked in, life is lifing.
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Life is lifing.
0
SPEAKER_04
Life is lifing.
0
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And you know, there s so many blessings in this beautiful life.
0
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And I m blessed to have the life that I have.
0
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And I m constantly, you know, thanking God for this beautiful life.
0
SPEAKER_04
And sometimes you feel ungrateful or like, what do you have to complain about?
0
SPEAKER_04
Like you have a beautiful life, you re doing well, might not have some of the financial troubles or issues that a lot of people are going through that I have had, you know, before in my life.
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SPEAKER_04
but it doesn t shield you from feelings and going through things.
0
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And I think a lot of time people kind of confuse that.
0
SPEAKER_07
Yeah, I think different platforms and different levels have different problems and they keep changing and the problems you have today weren t the problems you had then and the problems you had then are not problems you have today.
0
SPEAKER_07
I feel like healing is an interesting word because everyone s looking at what happens on the outside, but what do you think you re trying to heal on the inside?
0
SPEAKER_07
What have you discovered about what you are trying to heal?
0
SPEAKER_04
I think on the inside, I m just trying to heal a person who probably has dealt with feelings of abandonment, a person who has dealt with feelings of not feeling good enough, or definitely always having the questions of, why me?
0
SPEAKER_04
Why did this have to happen to me?
0
SPEAKER_04
Why me?
0
SPEAKER_04
Why did I have to go through this?
0
SPEAKER_04
I give so much good in the world.
0
SPEAKER_04
I do so much for so many people.
0
SPEAKER_04
Why do I have to suffer or go through?
0
SPEAKER_04
what I feel like at times is some of the hardest things to go through, but still keep a brave face, still keep a smile.
0
SPEAKER_04
So understanding that like, I really do believe when people say, you know, that God gives his toughest battles to his strongest.
1
SPEAKER_01
soldiers and I remind myself of that like you went through it because you could and you come out better and people can learn from you and this can help somebody else and I just have to remind myself of those things because you do get caught up in the why me and like look at everyone else they have this they have that why me why am I you know whatever it is so just getting better at that I think.
1
SPEAKER_00
And when you talk to people, because I m assuming that, you know, sometimes when we have that view of like, oh, they have it all or they have it all, I m sure you talk to people behind the scenes and realize they don t have it all.
1
SPEAKER_01
Right, right.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so then how does that make you feel when you realize, oh, wait a minute, they don t have it all?
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it doesn t make me feel good.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m not wishing for anyone to be struggling or not happy, but you just realize that things are just not always what they seem.
1
SPEAKER_01
And in the world of social media, in the world of just constantly looking at everyone else, whether it s how they look, their bodies, or their lives, and saying, oh, I wish that could be me.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s not reality.
1
SPEAKER_01
You don t know what people are dealing with.
1
SPEAKER_01
You don t know what people go home to.
1
SPEAKER_01
You don t know what s happening on the inside.
1
SPEAKER_01
And sometimes you do know because you ll hear things or see things and you re like, oh, I thought this person had like the perfect life.
1
SPEAKER_01
Now they re whatever, you know.
1
SPEAKER_01
So it s just like really honing in on making yourself happy, figuring out what it is that you need and not comparing or always looking at something else.
1
SPEAKER_01
Because if we do that, I just feel like you ll never be happy.
1
SPEAKER_01
and you ll never be satisfied, because there s always going to be somebody that looks better, dresses better, younger, more talented, whatever it is.
1
SPEAKER_01
So if you re looking for a reason to knock yourself down, you re going to find it.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s not that hard.
1
SPEAKER_01
You re going to find it.
1
SPEAKER_01
So you have to be whole within yourself.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I am confident within myself.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m not insecure.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m confident.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I do walk with a certain level of confidence.
1
SPEAKER_01
So that part I m good at, dealing with the kind of just like,
1
SPEAKER_01
why me do certain things happen to, I m still pushing through that and learning every day.
1
SPEAKER_01
Life is about learning.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t think you re supposed to ever have it all figured out.
1
SPEAKER_01
You strike me as somebody that has it all figured out, but you re learning every day.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I think when we have these conversations, you learn from us and vice versa.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s a constant learning experience.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I m constantly trying.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s really interesting, isn t it?
1
SPEAKER_00
When you are in a position of influence,
1
SPEAKER_00
People often assume that you do have it all figured out.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I m constantly, I think people who listen to the podcast, they know me very deeply and intimately because they hear me say, I struggled with this this week, or this is something I m going through.
1
SPEAKER_00
But if someone just sees a post on social media, they think, oh yeah, everything must be perfect.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I find that I encourage everyone, and this is why you coming on the podcast is so great, because I encourage everyone to study people they follow a bit deeper.
1
SPEAKER_00
Not to take them down or to think happy that they ve got problems too, not that reason, but the reason of like when you really study someone or you get to know someone, you start to realize we re all actually in a much more similar place.
1
SPEAKER_01
Right, it s so true.
1
SPEAKER_01
And what I ve learned in my journey of life is you start realizing no matter how much money, how much status or whatever, like my friends that I grew up with when I had, you know, nothing are going through similar issues as friends of mine who have
1
SPEAKER_01
all the money in the world, all the success, all the people are people.
1
SPEAKER_01
What you deal with every day is what you deal with every day.
1
SPEAKER_01
Money status doesn t change that.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I think we live in a society where people automatically assume money fixes everything or influence fixes everything or fame fixes everything.
1
SPEAKER_01
Not understanding that there s so many amazing things that come with it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m not going to sit here and be like, oh, being successful, being famous, being whatever is like the worst thing in the world.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m not that person.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m so grateful for my success.
1
SPEAKER_01
my fame, my influence, and I don t take it lightly, but it doesn t mean that it protects me or stops me from dealing with other things, and fame, influence, comes with other sets of problems.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know, people feeling like they can criticize you, people feeling like your life is an open book and they can say anything.
1
SPEAKER_01
A lot of us, when we go through things, the whole world doesn t have to know about it.
1
SPEAKER_01
When people like us go through things, it s open for discussion for the whole world, and everyone has an opinion, and that s not easy either, so you just have to continue to
1
SPEAKER_01
kind of strengthen yourself to be able to deal with all of that that comes with it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I love what you said there.
1
SPEAKER_00
I ve thought about that a lot too, because last time you came, we were tracking your whole career journey.
1
SPEAKER_00
You ve hustled, you ve worked hard, you ve done so much to get to where you are today, and I want to get to that.
1
SPEAKER_00
But for me, as I ve been on this journey, I ve been reflecting on what s changed over time as my external situation s changed, and what makes me feel protected, and you used that word protection.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I ve realized that of course we have to have our internal protection of how we feel about ourselves, our confidence, our own practices.
1
SPEAKER_00
But I found that the thing that makes me feel the most protected is knowing the people around me who really know me and how much closer we get through that process.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like I have to take so much strength in the fact that the people around me, not only do they have my back,
1
SPEAKER_00
but they actually know me and understand me at a core.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I kind of take a lot of energy from that.
1
SPEAKER_00
Do you do the same?
1
SPEAKER_01
I take so much energy from that.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m like the people who know, they know.
1
SPEAKER_01
The people that I need to depend on, they re always there.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m blessed to have an amazing family, amazing group of friends that are like ride or die that I know are there no matter what.
1
SPEAKER_01
And it s something that
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t take lightly, so it s not about proving to the world anything.
1
SPEAKER_01
If my core group gets it, knows me inside and out, knows my ups, knows my downs, and are there for me, that s the energy I pull from as well.
1
SPEAKER_00
I want to talk to you about friendship.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think a lot of people feel quite, even when you re close friends, and I m sure you felt this, it s hard to open up about things that are going wrong in your life.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I think a lot of people are listening or watching, that s something that they can relate to where it s like, I have my friends, but I don t know how to tell them that I m going through this.
1
SPEAKER_00
Or I know they d care about me, but I don t want them to feel sorry for me.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s it too.
1
SPEAKER_00
Or maybe they re going through so much stuff that I don t want to put my stuff on them.
1
SPEAKER_00
How have you managed to keep strong relationships as you ve grown in life, as you ve built your career?
1
SPEAKER_00
How have you managed to keep that core instead of losing it as you get more busy?
1
SPEAKER_01
I think that my friendships have gotten even stronger because of those moments.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t base my friendships off of, you know, this person has only been around when everything s been great, or we only talk about sunshine and flowers and cupcakes.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like, friends have to be there through everything, and you have to be able to be okay with
1
SPEAKER_01
being raw and real with people that you consider your friend, and don t throw that word around lightly.
1
SPEAKER_01
If you re saying, this is my friend, this is my go-to, you should be able to share whatever s happening in your life, whether it s good or bad, and those are the things that bond you.
1
SPEAKER_01
I remember the friends that were there for me when I was going through my divorce, when I was publicly going through what I was going through as a result of what happened in my marriage.
1
SPEAKER_01
I remember my friends that were there.
1
SPEAKER_01
I remember when
1
SPEAKER_01
My son was really young and had to have surgery and who was there in that moment.
1
SPEAKER_01
I remember all of that and those were the strengthening moments of our friendship.
1
SPEAKER_01
Now the fun stuff is great too.
1
SPEAKER_01
I remember my friends who ve been on vacation with me and got drunk and had a great time, but it s a balance.
1
SPEAKER_01
The real friendships had a mix of all of that stuff because that s what life is.
1
SPEAKER_01
Life is not always just fun and games.
1
SPEAKER_01
Life is up and down and up and down.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s what life is.
1
SPEAKER_00
Was there anything that a friend said to you or guidance you heard when you were going through a divorce that really helped or that really stayed with you or that you kind of carry around in your heart?
1
SPEAKER_01
just not to blame myself.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know, this isn t your fault not to blame myself.
1
SPEAKER_01
That always kind of stuck with me because it s easy to just blame yourself or get down on yourself or what was it, you know, that I did.
1
SPEAKER_01
And when I say not blaming yourself, I m not saying don t take accountability for whatever you might have had to do with the situation.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like, it s important to sit back and say, OK, where could I have been better?
1
SPEAKER_01
Because life is about being better and learning.
1
SPEAKER_01
You don t want to just say, oh,
1
SPEAKER_01
This happened.
1
SPEAKER_01
It had nothing to do with me.
1
SPEAKER_01
You want to understand, like, where could I have done better or where did maybe I fall short on some things?
1
SPEAKER_01
But that s different than blaming yourself for what happened.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I think by taking accountability, I was able to grow and become a better person for whatever happens in my life in the future.
1
SPEAKER_01
You don t go through these experiences not to learn.
1
SPEAKER_01
Then what was the point?
1
SPEAKER_01
Like, you don t go through these experiences to then duplicate the same issues in your next relationship or your next marriage or whatever it is.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s not.
1
SPEAKER_01
what that was there for.
1
SPEAKER_01
It was to learn, to get better and then to apply that knowledge to the next situation, whether it s a friendship, relationship, marriage, whatever it is.
1
SPEAKER_00
I love what you brought out there and I want everyone to just take note of that because I think we think we either have to take full responsibility or no responsibility.
1
SPEAKER_00
So we either blame the other person or we blame ourselves and it s only either or and the truth is it s so much more balanced where it s like
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t wanna blame myself and beat myself up because that s gonna send me down a terrible spiral.
1
SPEAKER_00
At the same time, I m not gonna sit here and just blame everything on the other person because that s not true and there s accountability on both sides and so let me look at how can I be better but how can I not beat myself up?
1
SPEAKER_00
What is it that you think you learned or what about you do you think has become better or healed or what have you worked on because of that shift in your life?
1
SPEAKER_01
Just a balance, understanding balance.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m such a career-driven, work-driven person that that could just take over my life and that becomes what s, you know, the most important to me outside of my son.
2
SPEAKER_01
There s never been anything that s more important than Kyan.
2
SPEAKER_01
And you know this, you just get caught up in the work and next thing you know, friends or partners or whatever are feeling neglected or like, I just feel like you never have time or you re not making them feel special in their, you know, moments and being there for them.
2
SPEAKER_01
Cause it s like,
2
SPEAKER_01
You got to film one more podcast.
2
SPEAKER_01
I got to go to set.
2
SPEAKER_01
I got to film one more episode.
2
SPEAKER_01
I got to go do this really fast, but it ll be quick and I ll come right back. 
2
SPEAKER_01
And then you realize when people, friends as well, are feeling neglected in those departments, problems can happen because of that.
2
SPEAKER_01
You start looking for other ways to fulfill that void and that need, and that s how things happen.
2
SPEAKER_01
Again, it s not blaming myself, but just being aware of things that happen and finding that balance and getting better at that balance.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I need the balance, Jay, for myself.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s not even for a partner, for myself, because I should be okay with having a personal life and a professional life and not feel guilty.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was the person that, if I went on a vacation, I felt guilty.
2
SPEAKER_01
I gotta work, I can t be doing this.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t want people to think I m just having a good time.
2
SPEAKER_01
I should be on set, I should be doing, and really beating myself up.
2
SPEAKER_01
Meanwhile, I work my ass off, I should be able to take a vacation.
2
SPEAKER_01
If I wanna take a month off, I should be able to do that.
2
SPEAKER_01
I ve worked, I ve been in this industry since I was 16 years old.
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SPEAKER_01
I should be able to do that.
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SPEAKER_01
I have enough equity in the game with all I ve given it to be able to do that, but I still would feel so guilty over that.
2
SPEAKER_01
So that s the balance that I m talking about.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, no, I m really glad that you went that step further of like, it s giving yourself to your friends, a potential partner, but also to yourself.
2
SPEAKER_03
What do you think it was for you that blocked you from giving yourself that permission?
2
SPEAKER_03
And the reason I ask that is because I was looking at the studies in the US and it was saying how so many people don t take all of their leave from work.
2
SPEAKER_03
Like most people are not taking their leave and there s not even that much leave in the US to take.
2
SPEAKER_03
So when I was in the UK, you get like 30 days off a year.
2
SPEAKER_03
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_03
That s awesome.
2
SPEAKER_03
And here it s not that many.
2
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And so when I moved here and I remember looking at that, I was thinking, wow, and still people aren t taking time off.
2
SPEAKER_03
I think that s something people can relate to that a lot of people struggle to think, well, maybe when I come back, I ll have so many more emails.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh my God, I m going to be so behind.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh my gosh, I won t get promoted this year.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh my gosh, I might get let go.
2
SPEAKER_03
I m competing with this person.
2
SPEAKER_03
I may become irrelevant.
2
SPEAKER_03
I have to stay on top of stuff.
2
SPEAKER_03
What was it for you that kind of, do you think stopped you from giving yourself permission to have a balance?
2
SPEAKER_01
Definitely a fear.
2
SPEAKER_01
And you and I always talk about fear, a fear of someone s going to come and take my job or someone s going to come and take my place.
2
SPEAKER_01
Or I used to take so much pride in being like, you know, even if I m not the most talented, I m the hardest worker.
2
SPEAKER_01
No one can outwork me.
2
SPEAKER_01
And that was like my badge of honor.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, I will outwork everyone.
2
SPEAKER_01
until you re burnt out and you don t have anything else to give and then what?
2
SPEAKER_01
They move on to the next person anyway.
2
SPEAKER_01
So it s like you have to take care of yourself and I had to learn that because I would just go until I couldn t go anymore and then not have anything to give to anyone because I didn t have that balance but that was all because of fear and not also believing in myself enough to say I m enough and if someone is able to just come and take this from me it was never mine to begin with and really
2
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being okay with that.
2
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But I just think we, well, I grew up in a world where it s so competitive and it s like, you know, you can t take your foot off the gas.
2
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As soon as you do it, somebody else is coming or don t even give, you know, somebody else a chance to take your spot, whatever that even means.
2
SPEAKER_01
But that s the culture I grew up in and what I was conditioned and brainwashed to always believe.
2
SPEAKER_01
So it was like,
2
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Go till you can t go anymore. 
2
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And now I m like, I m not doing that anymore.
2
SPEAKER_01
Have I reached a place where I found the perfect balance?
2
SPEAKER_01
No, but I am getting better at it.
2
SPEAKER_01
I just told you I took a trip.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was at a couple of different places.
2
SPEAKER_01
Prior to that, I took Kyan to the Cayman Islands and we had a great time and I felt happy.
2
SPEAKER_01
I felt...
2
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not guilty for doing that.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I felt OK with posting about it, not thinking like, oh, they re going to think this girl, she s always on vacation or something like that.
2
SPEAKER_01
I felt good about that because I deserve it and I need to do that.
2
SPEAKER_02
When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it s powerful.
2
SPEAKER_04
That s where The Bright Side comes in.
2
SPEAKER_04
A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that s bringing you a daily dose of joy.
2
SPEAKER_04
I m Danielle Robay.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I m Simone Boyce.
2
SPEAKER_02
Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters.
2
SPEAKER_02
We ve covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy.
2
SPEAKER_02
But The Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new and get into some friendly debates.
2
SPEAKER_04
That s right.
2
SPEAKER_04
Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side.
2
SPEAKER_04
We ll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you.
2
SPEAKER_02
Whether it s relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life s transitions, we ll talk through it all together.
2
SPEAKER_04
Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
2
SPEAKER_05
Get emotional with me, Radhi Devlukia, in my new podcast, A Really Good Cry.
2
SPEAKER_05
We re going to talk about and go through all the things that are sometimes difficult to process alone.
2
SPEAKER_05
We re going to go over how to regulate your emotions, diving deep into holistic personal development, and just building your mindset to have a happier, healthier life.
2
SPEAKER_05
We re going to be talking with some of my best friends.
2
SPEAKER_04
I didn t know we were going to go there.
2
SPEAKER_05
People that I admire.
2
SPEAKER_05
When we say listen to your body, really tune in to what s going on.
2
SPEAKER_05
Authors of books that have changed my life.
2
SPEAKER_05
Now you re talking about sympathy, which is different than empathy.
2
SPEAKER_05
And basically have conversations that can help us get through this crazy thing we call life.
2
SPEAKER_05
I already believe in myself.
2
SPEAKER_05
I already see myself.
2
SPEAKER_05
And so when people give me an opportunity, I m just like,
2
SPEAKER_05
Oh great, you see me too!
2
SPEAKER_05
We ll laugh together, we ll cry together, and find a way through all of our emotions.
2
SPEAKER_05
Never forget, it s okay to cry, as long as you make it a really good one.
2
SPEAKER_05
Listen to A Really Good Cry with Radhi Devlukia on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
2
SPEAKER_00
Something that makes me crazy is when people say, well, I had this career before, but it was a waste.
2
SPEAKER_00
And that s where the perspective shift comes.
2
SPEAKER_00
That it s not a waste, that everything you ve done has built you to where you are now.
2
SPEAKER_00
This is She Pivots.
2
SPEAKER_00
the podcast where we explore the inspiring pivots women have made and dig deeper into the personal reasons behind them.
2
SPEAKER_00
Join me, Emily Tish Sussman, every Wednesday on She Pivots, as I sit down with inspiring women like Misty Copeland, Brooke Shields, Vanessa Hudgens, and so many more.
2
SPEAKER_00
We dive into how these women made their pivot and their mindset shifts that happened as a result.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s a podcast about women, their stories, and how their pivot became their success.
2
SPEAKER_00
Listen to She Pivots on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
2
SPEAKER_03
Absolutely, absolutely.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I love hearing the practical ways in which it s actually taking part.
2
SPEAKER_03
It s really interesting.
2
SPEAKER_03
It s so much about like what we get our significance from, like what makes us feel worthy.
2
SPEAKER_03
And for some of us, it s overworking.
2
SPEAKER_03
For some of us, it s over giving.
2
SPEAKER_03
For some of us, it s over sharing.
2
SPEAKER_03
And it s like, what makes you feel worthy?
2
SPEAKER_03
Today, what makes you feel worthy and happy today?
2
SPEAKER_01
Definitely my son.
2
SPEAKER_01
He makes me so happy because you start really seeing the influence you have over your child at a certain age where it s like, wow, everything I ve taught him or things I ve tried to drill in his head, now I m seeing it actually come to forewishing or he s repeating things to me that I m like,
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, he was listening to me when I said that, or he is following my guidance or advice.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, he s 16 years old now and he s making a career and a lane for himself in basketball.
2
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, he s doing so well, but I just see how humble he is, how kind he is, how he s all about, you know, giving back to the community and all the things that are so important to me.
2
SPEAKER_01
Now I m just seeing him take on
2
SPEAKER_01
all of that same stuff and that makes me so happy because I feel like you know I did a great job and it s not like I m done being a parent but I did a great job thus far of being a parent and never allowing whatever was happening in my life or to affect my parenting or affect how I was with you know my child.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s something that makes me happy and something I m really proud of because that s not easy you know to deal with day-to-day life and ups and downs and then come home and be
2
SPEAKER_01
you know, there for your child and be willing to just listen to their needs and what they have going on.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s not easy.
2
SPEAKER_03
What s been the biggest thing you think he s taught you?
2
SPEAKER_01
Definitely patience.
2
SPEAKER_01
Everyone says like, you don t experience love till you have a child.
2
SPEAKER_01
And you re like, well, what does that really mean?
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, I know what it s like to love someone, but it definitely is a different kind of love.
2
SPEAKER_01
So just unconditional love, patience.
2
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, I always say that my son is my best friend.
2
SPEAKER_01
Now, it s interesting because people will say that, and I don t know if you ve read about this, Jay.
2
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I m curious to know your take.
2
SPEAKER_01
People will say that your children should not be your best friend, that you should be a parent and your child should not be your best friend.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m on the other side of it.
2
SPEAKER_01
My son is my best friend and I m still able to be a parent and have him as my best friend.
2
SPEAKER_01
And best friend, I mean, I spend more time with my son.
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than anyone else.
3
SPEAKER_00
I live with my child, so he s the person I live with.
3
SPEAKER_00
He s my roommate, essentially, and knows me in every shape and form, the happy days, the sad days, everything.
3
SPEAKER_00
And there s nothing I don t feel like we can talk about on his side, on my side.
3
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To me, those are all the qualities of a best friend.
3
SPEAKER_00
Do I still parent him and discipline him?
3
SPEAKER_00
Of course I do.
3
SPEAKER_00
But there s a lot of talk, I read a lot of talk about that.
3
SPEAKER_00
And sometimes when I write, like, hanging with my best friends, like, oh, your son shouldn t be your best friend.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, you should just be a parent.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s the problem these days.
3
SPEAKER_00
Parents trying to be their kids friends and this and that.
3
SPEAKER_00
I come from a different.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I mean, I can t, obviously I m not a parent, so I can t answer it from that perspective, but if I think about it with my parents, I would say at this point, I m good friends with my parents.
3
SPEAKER_01
I would say I wish we were best friends growing up and I felt that I was parented, which made me actually not tell them stuff and keep secrets and do my own thing and not really have that open relationship with them, which I wish, I think would have been healthier for me and for them.
3
SPEAKER_01
And now I m glad that it s evolved to where it has, but I agree, I would have liked to have been friendlier with my parents when I was younger because I think I could have avoided a lot of the mistakes I made had I had that relationship with them.
3
SPEAKER_00
And felt comfortable talking to them about certain things.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I was always scared to tell them anything.
3
SPEAKER_01
I feel like I m about to get in trouble.
3
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I don t think that that was a healthy feeling as a child of, oh, I m going to get into trouble if I do, not as a child, as a teenager.
3
SPEAKER_01
When I was a child, I was obedient anyway.
3
SPEAKER_01
But when I was a teenager, it s like, I think that s the age.
3
SPEAKER_01
If you can be friends with your 16-year-old, that s pretty dope.
3
SPEAKER_00
Because that s what s going on.
3
SPEAKER_00
And being friends, Jay, doesn t mean he doesn t get in trouble.
3
SPEAKER_00
Because if he does something wrong, he gets in trouble.
3
SPEAKER_00
Or I have to sit down and talk to him.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I think it s the approach and the way.
3
SPEAKER_00
Because sometimes just yelling or, it s not effective.
3
SPEAKER_00
At least from what I ve seen with other people, parenting.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I don t judge anyone s parenting.
3
SPEAKER_00
But yelling, screaming.
3
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they re not hearing you.
3
SPEAKER_00
So sometimes just having an honest conversation on why you shouldn t have done that or why that was wrong for me, that gets me further than like, what the hell are you thinking?
3
SPEAKER_00
Why did I?
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, they re blocking you out.
3
SPEAKER_00
They re not hearing you anyway.
3
SPEAKER_01
I actually went through something like that the other day.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I bumped into someone and I was talking to their teenager.
3
SPEAKER_01
He was probably like,
3
SPEAKER_01
Maybe like 14, 15.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
And his mom was like behind me like telling him what to ask me and it was almost like she was making it out like he wouldn t ask good questions.
3
SPEAKER_00
Right, like not giving him the opportunity.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and the thing is he was actually asking really smart questions and I was like really engaged but I could see that she kept distracting him and he kept being like, mom, I m talking.
3
SPEAKER_00
I got it, I got it, right.
3
SPEAKER_01
And it was just really interesting and I d look back and I d smile and I d be like,
3
SPEAKER_01
He s cool, it s alright.
3
SPEAKER_01
And it was just really interesting to me, she didn t trust that she d actually been an amazing parent.
3
SPEAKER_00
Right, and taught him well and put him in a situation where he can handle himself.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and he was doing great.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I said to her afterwards, I just want you to know, you must have raised your son really well because he
3
SPEAKER_01
was so present he asked me so I was so impressed by a 15 year old asking those kind of questions like I wanted her to know that too because I guess mom guilt and reflecting and like kind of feeling like it s never good enough must be a big part of what you carry too.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah for sure that s a real thing you know mom guilt and just everything you just said is just so real because again we get in the habit of beating ourselves up
3
SPEAKER_00
for everything so it s like blaming ourselves for everything so you know my son s like this because of whatever so it is nice when I always say the biggest compliment I ve ever heard is when people tell me your son s so well-mannered he s so humble he s so down-to-earth he cares about people like that makes me feel better than anything any award any any
3
SPEAKER_00
you know, high rated TV show, movie, anything.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like someone to tell me that my kid is kind and humble and well-mannered, that s like the best thing I could ever hear.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s beautiful.
3
SPEAKER_01
I love hearing that.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I want to talk about your career because last time you came, we kind of did a full like biography of like all the jobs and like how you started.
3
SPEAKER_01
We talked about your first job and how you broke through.
3
SPEAKER_01
What about, you re a driven, ambitious person still, despite everything you ve achieved.
3
SPEAKER_01
What is that drive pursuing today?
3
SPEAKER_01
What does that look like right now?
3
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I m always trying to figure out what my next thing is.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m always working extremely hard.
3
SPEAKER_00
I think I still am close enough to remember what not having felt like.
3
SPEAKER_00
to continue to push myself the way I do.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m not that far removed from remembering what that felt like.
3
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And it lives in me and it s close to me.
3
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So I m like, I don t like that.
3
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I don t want to go back there.
3
SPEAKER_00
So that s the motivation and drive to continue to push forward.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I enjoy it.
3
SPEAKER_00
I like working.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, my mom tells me all the time,
3
SPEAKER_00
You don t think you should just like take a break and I m like, mom, I like working.
3
SPEAKER_00
Some people like other things.
3
SPEAKER_00
I like working.
3
SPEAKER_00
Some people, you know, rather be at home and do certain things, which is fine.
3
SPEAKER_00
Everyone has a different motivation.
3
SPEAKER_00
I like working.
3
SPEAKER_00
That brings me happiness.
3
SPEAKER_00
That brings me joy.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I push myself in that, in that department.
3
SPEAKER_00
But for me, I m always trying to see what s next right now.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know, I m heavy in
3
SPEAKER_00
the acting space, producing space, really big on my prison reform charity, which takes up a lot of my time.
3
SPEAKER_00
And, you know, giving back in that way is so important to me.
3
SPEAKER_00
So those are kind of where my immediate focuses are right now.
3
SPEAKER_00
But there s always so many things, you know, happening.
3
SPEAKER_01
With the acting and production, what part of it right now do you feel most immersed and in love with?
3
SPEAKER_01
Because you ve done both for a while now.
3
SPEAKER_01
What s the project that s bringing you alive right now?
3
SPEAKER_00
Just finding projects that I m interested in producing is so amazing because
3
SPEAKER_00
you can now bring something that you love to life and you can be in control of that IP or whatever it is and bring it to life.
3
SPEAKER_00
So producing just puts you in control for so long as an actor, you re waiting for someone else to give you an opportunity.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re auditioning with 10 other girls that look very similar to you and just hoping that
3
SPEAKER_00
Hey, pick me, pick me, I m the right person for the role.
3
SPEAKER_00
And nine times out of 10, you don t get picked.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, you get those lucky times, but for the most part, you don t always get picked.
3
SPEAKER_00
So by producing, you re not waiting, now you re creating, and you re also putting yourself in a position to create jobs and opportunities for other people.
3
SPEAKER_00
And that s what I m about, opening the doors for other people to come in and have these experiences.
3
SPEAKER_00
and be able to give them a piece of what I have going on.
3
SPEAKER_00
So that s what I love about producing and just going out there and finding projects that mean something to me.
3
SPEAKER_00
And it s not always about like, oh, I want to produce this because I want it to be this huge success.
3
SPEAKER_00
Of course you want things you do to be a huge success, but sometimes you want to do it for you.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m passionate about this.
3
SPEAKER_00
I want to tell this story and whoever gets it, gets it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Maybe this is not the billion dollar hit or whatever.
3
SPEAKER_00
Maybe this is just for a small group of people that are into this, but that matters to me.
3
SPEAKER_00
So that s what gets me excited from the producing standpoint and acting.
3
SPEAKER_00
I am on a show, so it s great to just have steady work and I love, you know, the people I work with.
3
SPEAKER_00
I love the show I m a part of.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s incredible and it s nice to just always have that kind of in the stash.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, absolutely.
3
SPEAKER_01
You spoke about rejection there again, another thing I think people relate to, whether they re auditioning, applying for jobs, like it s one of those things that we all face in life in different realms.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I think people often think that when you get to a certain level of success, you don t get rejection anymore.
3
SPEAKER_01
That is not true.
3
SPEAKER_01
How does that feel like after having, I don t know how many auditions you must have done in your life.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, more than I could ever count.
3
SPEAKER_01
Right?
3
SPEAKER_01
Like how many like taped auditions, like in person.
3
SPEAKER_00
In person, signing the contract before, thinking that I definitely had the job just to find out that they re not going with me.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I ve had everything happen to me.
3
SPEAKER_01
Does it get easier and how do you react to rejection differently today than you did 16 years ago?
3
SPEAKER_00
So today I realize that most of the time it has nothing to do with you.
3
SPEAKER_00
There s so many other factors.
3
SPEAKER_00
And now being on the producing side, I see the other factors.
3
SPEAKER_00
Could be anything.
3
SPEAKER_00
Could be height.
3
SPEAKER_00
Just could be how you stand next to your co-star.
3
SPEAKER_00
Could be...
3
SPEAKER_00
A million things that are out of your control is not a decision based on you weren t good enough or you weren t talented enough.
3
SPEAKER_00
And once I realized that, I got better with dealing with it and also being happy and grateful for the person who did get the job, because for whatever reason, they were the right person for that job.
3
SPEAKER_00
Not feeling like, oh, why d they give it to them and not me?
3
SPEAKER_00
Like actually leading with grace and kindness and realizing that
3
SPEAKER_00
Because I started doing that, more good things started happening for me.
3
SPEAKER_00
But in the beginning, it was like, oh, they don t like me.
3
SPEAKER_00
I didn t do a good job.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, they think I suck.
3
SPEAKER_00
I shouldn t be doing this.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like I was ready to give up on acting a hundred times.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was like, clearly, this is the one thing that s never going to happen for me.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like I had to have one thing that just wasn t going to go.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is it.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I just kept being persistent, kept learning, kept getting better and then realizing now a lot of the decisions are not based on talent.
3
SPEAKER_00
There s just so many other factors.
3
SPEAKER_01
When my videos were first seen like seven years ago, around a year later, a TV production company had reached out and said, we want to make a TV show about your work.
3
SPEAKER_01
Right.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was like, this is so cool.
3
SPEAKER_01
I never imagined in a million years that that would even be possible.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so we made the deck, we went and like pitched it, all these companies.
3
SPEAKER_01
And it was really interesting because no one took the show.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was really passionate about the idea we d created.
3
SPEAKER_01
I thought it was really cool and different and no one cared.
4
SPEAKER_02
even go beyond the first meeting.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like from the first meeting, I was like, we re not sure.
4
SPEAKER_02
And it s really interesting to me because I was talking about this with a friend a couple of weeks ago.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I was saying that one thing that happened was it built a number of long-term friendships.
4
SPEAKER_02
So everyone I met at those pitches, not everyone, but some of the people have become long-term friends that I actually still see now socially, even though we never did anything professionally.
4
SPEAKER_02
So there was a massive win.
4
SPEAKER_02
The other thing was it gave me a great experience of what that process is like.
4
SPEAKER_02
I d never done it before.
4
SPEAKER_02
And now I actually understand what that looks like.
4
SPEAKER_02
And it was a complete learning curve.
4
SPEAKER_02
But the third one, which is the best one, is I often say to people, had I had been given that show, I potentially may never have started this podcast.
4
SPEAKER_02
I potentially may never have written my book.
4
SPEAKER_02
I potentially may never have gone on tour this year because I wouldn t have had this opportunity to have to build my own work.
4
SPEAKER_04
So true.
4
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That s what I want to remind people is like just trust in the timing as long as you re moving forward.
4
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That s it.
4
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And I think that s the mistake that we often make is that our disappointment slows us down or like our feeling of failure forces us to just switch off.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
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And instead when you re moving, shifting, figuring things out, discovering, anything s possible.
4
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, it s so true.
4
SPEAKER_04
And it s funny because on our last podcast, I was telling you, it s been years, and you said that clip is still viral, but we talk about fear and we always say that people stop because they re disappointed in fear right before something great is going to happen.
4
SPEAKER_04
You stop and don t even realize right past that, if you push past that feeling, if you push past that, amazing things are going to happen.
4
SPEAKER_04
because of our talk, I realized how much that resonated with people.
4
SPEAKER_04
Like, don t let the fear and disappointment stop you because you don t know what s going to happen after that.
4
SPEAKER_04
Let it build you.
4
SPEAKER_04
Let it build your character.
4
SPEAKER_04
Let it build your armor to be strong and to go through these things so that you can keep, like you said, as long as you re moving forward, it s just so important.
4
SPEAKER_02
What fear are you trying to push forward from right now in your life?
4
SPEAKER_04
I m such a people pleaser, and I ve always wanted to, even as a young kid, I ve always wanted to be liked by everyone.
4
SPEAKER_04
I was that person, like, I wanted everybody to be my friend.
4
SPEAKER_04
And it s funny, because people say all the time, oh, La is friends with everybody.
4
SPEAKER_04
Everybody loves La La, which is great.
4
SPEAKER_04
I don t think everybody loves me, but that s great.
4
SPEAKER_04
But also being okay with understanding that you ll never be able to please everyone, especially in this day and age of, we talked about social media, everyone now having a platform to comment, to tell you what you re doing wrong and speak about who you are as a person, people that don t even know you.
4
SPEAKER_04
There was a time where that would have really rattled me and bothered me because it s like,
4
SPEAKER_04
You don t even know me.
4
SPEAKER_04
You never even had a conversation with me.
4
SPEAKER_04
If you knew me, you would love me.
4
SPEAKER_04
You would see I m this type person.
4
SPEAKER_04
Now it s like, I m secure in myself.
4
SPEAKER_04
So I m continuing to push through that fear of wanting to be liked or the fear of someone not liking me.
4
SPEAKER_04
I should say that, the fear of someone not liking me.
4
SPEAKER_04
I ve gotten so much better at that.
4
SPEAKER_04
And just embracing the people that love me and care about me.
4
SPEAKER_04
Another thing my mom s always told me, I quote my mom a lot.
4
SPEAKER_04
She s a very smart person.
4
SPEAKER_04
Another thing my mom always told me is,
4
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Celebrate the people that are there.
4
SPEAKER_04
You know you can have a party or a get-together, and the first thing you ll say is, well, why didn t so-and-so come?
4
SPEAKER_04
Damn, I invited so-and-so, why aren t they here?
4
SPEAKER_04
You re not even acknowledging the 10, 15, 20 people that came to support you on your birthday or whatever the occasion was.
4
SPEAKER_04
Well, damn, I invited so-and-so, they didn t even come.
4
SPEAKER_04
I always remind myself of that.
4
SPEAKER_04
Celebrate the people who are there for your moments, who want to be there with you and stop worrying about the person who wasn t there.
4
SPEAKER_04
Same thing with comments.
4
SPEAKER_04
Everyone, Jay, we love you.
4
SPEAKER_04
You re the greatest.
4
SPEAKER_04
We listen to everything.
4
SPEAKER_04
That one person who s like, Jay, what the hell are you talking about?
4
SPEAKER_04
You don t know what you re talking about.
4
SPEAKER_04
You re like.
4
SPEAKER_04
Zooming in on that, want to find out, you want to respond, you want to go to their page, see how they look.
4
SPEAKER_04
But you just had a thousand comments about how wonderful you are and that one will just throw people off.
4
SPEAKER_04
I ve just gotten so much better at that.
4
SPEAKER_04
I won t give somebody that much power over me.
4
SPEAKER_04
And again, I want to celebrate the people who are celebrating me.
4
SPEAKER_04
That s what I m getting better at.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, no, I love that you said that.
4
SPEAKER_02
I literally, it was a habit that I used to have where you d see all these good reviews or good comments and you would literally just scroll past them, just waiting for the negative one.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I ve changed.
4
SPEAKER_02
That s so true.
4
SPEAKER_02
Literally, right?
4
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Like you re, you re just, you re treating the good ones like, oh yeah, sure.
4
SPEAKER_02
Of course.
4
SPEAKER_02
I don t, you don t really mean that.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then when someone says something bad and I ve trained myself now, like I genuinely do this and I talk about in the podcast a lot, I will sit there and I will read a positive review or read a comment, a positive comment and I ll let it sit here.
4
SPEAKER_04
It s so important.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I ll just let it sit there and I ll let myself accept it because for so long I just tried to like not let myself accept it and I don t mean let it go to your head, I mean like
4
SPEAKER_02
it in your heart like someone felt like telling you that your work or your words or whatever it was your life or that clip of you on the last podcast like that that made a difference in their lives let that just let yourself receive that and I wish all of us would allow ourselves to receive love as seriously as we receive hate it s so true when you see hate you don t think that might not be true you just accept that it must be true whereas when you see love you think oh yeah they didn t really mean that
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh, it probably isn t that real, right?
4
SPEAKER_02
It s so interesting how we second guess.
4
SPEAKER_04
And it s interesting because we ll believe that hate is true from someone who doesn t even know us.
4
SPEAKER_04
This is coming from someone who never had a conversation with you, who knows nothing about you.
4
SPEAKER_04
So it s like, it s the wrong way to think, but you had to train yourself to think differently.
4
SPEAKER_04
I had to train myself to think differently.
4
SPEAKER_04
For me, a lot of times it s better for me just not to read.
4
SPEAKER_04
anything because I still can get hyper focused on.
4
SPEAKER_04
So I don t really get caught up in that.
4
SPEAKER_04
I get caught up in more like when people stop me and say, you know, love you lot.
4
SPEAKER_04
Thanks for this or whatever it is.
4
SPEAKER_04
Those are my genuine, you know, moments.
4
SPEAKER_04
And I do still sometimes, you know, take a peek, but I don t go too deep.
4
SPEAKER_02
That s safer.
4
SPEAKER_02
I actually think that s safer.
4
SPEAKER_04
I don t go too deep.
4
SPEAKER_02
I think that s safer and sometimes when I see criticism I ll also allow myself if I m in a good space because I agree with you like what I m sharing is when you re in a good space if you re really struggling with it
4
SPEAKER_02
Just turn it off and get away from it.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m fully with you.
4
SPEAKER_02
But if I am in a good place, I ll look at criticism and I ll say, let me take the feedback and leave the criticism.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like, how do I do that?
4
SPEAKER_02
Like, how do I listen to this, allow it in, but then leave the part that is kind of the venom in it or the spite or the ferociousness?
4
SPEAKER_02
Like, take that out and take the feedback because there could be something for me to learn and I m open to that.
4
SPEAKER_04
The constructive part of it or constructive criticism part of it.
4
SPEAKER_04
I do understand that.
4
SPEAKER_04
I don t think all of us are there yet.
4
SPEAKER_02
Neither am I, I m just, I m trying.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m trying, I m trying.
4
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, exactly, we re trying and a lot of us, you know, are still struggling with understanding what being loved feels like or never being loved growing up.
4
SPEAKER_04
You know, I work with so many people through my charity and just people I know who you realize some of the basic principles of just love, they ve never experienced and don t understand what that is, but they do understand hate, being told you re not good enough,
4
SPEAKER_04
being ignored, not being paid attention to.
4
SPEAKER_04
So they gravitate more to that because that s what they re used to.
4
SPEAKER_04
So it s just about changing the narrative.
4
SPEAKER_04
And I talk about that with, you know, the group that I work with through through my charity 360 all the time is like changing the narrative, changing those negative thoughts into positive thoughts.
4
SPEAKER_04
So that s really important.
4
SPEAKER_03
Imagine you asked two people the same exact set of seven questions.
4
SPEAKER_03
I m Minnie Driver, and this was the idea I set out to explore in my podcast, Minnie Questions.
4
SPEAKER_03
This year, we bring a whole new group of guests to answer the same seven questions, including actress and star of the mega hit sitcom Friends, Courtney Cox.
4
SPEAKER_03
You can t go around it, so you just go through it.
4
SPEAKER_03
This is a roadblock.
4
SPEAKER_03
It s going to catch you down the road.
4
SPEAKER_03
Go through it.
4
SPEAKER_03
Deal with it.
4
SPEAKER_03
Comedian, writer, and star of the series Catastrophe, Rob Delaney.
4
SPEAKER_00
I shouldn t feel guilty about my son s death.
4
SPEAKER_00
He died of a brain tumor.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s part of what happens when your kid dies.
4
SPEAKER_00
Intellectually, you ll understand that it s not your fault, but you ll still feel guilty.
4
SPEAKER_03
That personal disaster wrote Guyville.
4
SPEAKER_00
So everything comes out of a dead end.
4
SPEAKER_03
And many, many more.
4
SPEAKER_03
Join me on Season 3 of Mini Questions on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts.
4
SPEAKER_03
Seven questions.
4
SPEAKER_03
Limitless answers.
4
SPEAKER_01
For all the parents out there, picture that it s bedtime.
4
SPEAKER_01
You and the kids have been busy all day.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know they re tired, but with all that anxious energy, they just won t go to sleep.
4
SPEAKER_01
This was my kids every night.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I did find that stories calmed their mind and gave them something to focus on.
4
SPEAKER_01
So six years ago, I created the kids  podcast Bedtime History to help solve that problem.
4
SPEAKER_01
Bedtime History is a series of relaxing history stories that end with an inspirational message.
4
SPEAKER_01
We have episodes about Jackie Robinson, Neil Armstrong, Maya Angelou, and Sacajawea.
4
SPEAKER_01
Episodes also include topics like space exploration, engineering, the rise and fall of civilizations, and major events like the Civil Rights Movement and the Transcontinental Railroad.
4
SPEAKER_01
With over 2,000 positive parent reviews, Bedtime History is one of the top education podcasts.
4
SPEAKER_01
This week join me and listen to Bedtime History
5
SPEAKER_00
every Monday and Thursday on iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
5
SPEAKER_02
Hey everyone, this is Molly and Matt and we re the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.
5
SPEAKER_03
It s a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting.
5
SPEAKER_02
like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.
5
SPEAKER_03
We re back with season two of the podcast, which means more opportunities to glow up and become a more responsible and better adult, one life lesson at a time.
5
SPEAKER_02
And let me just tell you, this show is just as much for us as it is for you.
5
SPEAKER_02
So let s figure this stuff out together.
5
SPEAKER_02
This season, we re going to talk about whether or not we re financially and emotionally ready for dog ownership.
5
SPEAKER_03
We re going to figure out the benefits of a high yield savings account.
5
SPEAKER_02
And what exactly are the duties of being a member of the wedding party?
5
SPEAKER_03
All that plus so much more.
5
SPEAKER_02
Let s learn about all of it and then some.
5
SPEAKER_02
Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
5
SPEAKER_01
What got you involved in the prison reform work and what is the thing that you think would surprise us to learn about it?
5
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Because you ve actually spent time, you re working with people, it s your charity, it s your project.
5
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What do you think would surprise us?
5
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I think that people would be surprised how simply changing a person s environment and simply loving someone
5
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can be all you need to actually see a complete change in a person.
5
SPEAKER_00
Telling someone you love them, telling someone you re proud of them, is sometimes enough to just completely change a person.
5
SPEAKER_00
And realizing that those simple words, a lot of people have never even heard before.
5
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It s mind-blowing that I ll sit with the young men in my program, I mostly work with young men ages 18 to 21, and they will tell me they ve never heard someone say, I love you before.
5
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They ve never heard, definitely never heard someone say, I m proud of you.
5
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What have I ever done for someone to be proud of me?
5
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Or definitely just never knew what...
5
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feeling important to somebody was.
5
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And when they start feeling that, the change you see in them, when I put them in situations, whether it s jobs or things to thrive, like how amazing they ve been doing just because the environment is different.
5
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You can love somebody all you want and then put them back in that same toxic, you know, dysfunctional environment and then like,
5
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well, why are they acting like this?
5
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They shouldn t be acting like this.
5
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Why are they being a menace to society?
5
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I mean, but we wouldn t last one day in a household like that, you know, and just being compassionate.
5
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So love and a change in environment are like two of the key things that I ve seen where I ve seen the most success and the most change for sure.
5
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Yeah, that is fascinating.
5
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And how do you get, like, I guess the external perception is everyone would be quite hard in prison and be quite cold.
5
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How do you have a conversation about love and compassion and empathy with someone who hasn t had it before?
5
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How do you even start that conversation?
5
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Because I think the perception would be they d just be like, I don t need to be loved.
5
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There d be a certain kind of shield to it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Is that real, is that true, or do you find it s quite easy to talk to people?
5
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When I first come in, it s not easy.
5
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There s like, if it s a new group, it s kind of the stone face.
5
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That s what I mean, yeah.
5
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Yeah, we know La La, but what s she going to talk to us about?
5
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But it s really just having real authentic conversations.
5
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When you talk to somebody, Jay, you just have that talent to where they know
5
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you re speaking from a genuine place.
5
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When you talk to me, I m like, I gotta listen to what Jay s saying.
5
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What would Jay do in this situation?
5
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You just have that.
5
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So it s like when you re speaking from your heart and you re leading with love, people feel that.
5
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Even the hardest people feel that because at everyone s core, what do we want?
5
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We wanna be loved.
5
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Everyone wants to be loved whether they ve experienced or not at everyone s core.
5
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They want to be loved So I m gonna hit you in that place that just wants to be loved and I m also gonna make you understand that I Understand what you ve been through.
5
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I understand why you may have made some of these choices and guess what?
5
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I m not judging you, but I m pushing you to do better and that s how I kind of run my
5
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my group and what we talk about.
5
SPEAKER_00
And once they hear that and feel that, it just melts away.
5
SPEAKER_00
They just want a hug.
5
SPEAKER_00
They just want you to tell them you love them.
5
SPEAKER_00
They just want to sit down and have some food with you.
5
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It just like melts away and it s emotional.
5
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It s incredible to see.
5
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And I wish that more people could be involved in the work and see this instead of just, you know, writing certain people off because of whatever they ve been through.
5
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Because one thing I always say is,
5
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hey, these guys in my program are not going anywhere.
5
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So you got two choices.
5
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They can either be an asset to our communities or they can be a problem.
5
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Which one do you want?
5
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Because they re not going anywhere.
5
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So I d rather mold them and work with them to be assets and great fathers and great community leaders and great workers in our community than be a problem.
5
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And sometimes all they really need is to feel supported and to feel loved.
5
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That s been my experience.
5
SPEAKER_01
What drew you to that work specifically?
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, you could have started something about anything in the world.
5
SPEAKER_01
Why?
5
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What was it deeply inside of you that was like, this is where I want to put my energy and effort?
5
SPEAKER_00
I think just growing up, that s always been a part of life.
5
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knowing someone who s in jail, seeing different things but feeling helpless, like, what can I do?
5
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I can just go visit, write a letter here and there.
5
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I m not in a position to do anything.
5
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You would see things that you wanted to change but feel helpless.
5
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And now I m in a position where I can actually make change.
5
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You know, I can actually use my voice and my platform to make a change and help people I care about who are still incarcerated or people who have been incarcerated, you know, help them change their
5
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and provide them with different things that people before us didn t have.
5
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So I m gonna use my platform for that.
5
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And also as a mom of a 16-year-old, a young black man, I understand how all of us are one decision or one bad moment away from being any of the kids that I deal with who are incarcerated right now.
5
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How many of my kids was just wrong place at the wrong time, hanging with the wrong crowd?
5
SPEAKER_00
We can relate to that.
5
SPEAKER_00
I have a son.
5
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Like he could be at the wrong place at the wrong time, trying to be cool, running with a certain group of kids, anything can happen.
5
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So I m sympathetic to that.
5
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And I think that s where I draw my inspiration from to want to do the work.
5
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Did you see the lack of support, like breaking families?
5
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How bad did it get?
5
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It got bad.
5
SPEAKER_00
It got bad.
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I saw it.
5
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It got bad.
5
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I had, you know, one of the closest people to me.
5
SPEAKER_00
His mother was incarcerated for many, many years.
5
SPEAKER_00
And just seeing what it was like for him to grow up without his mom, you know, being there.
5
SPEAKER_00
She was there in every way, but she was incarcerated.
5
SPEAKER_00
She was an amazing, she is an amazing mother, but she was incarcerated.
5
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And just watching what that felt like and feeling like there s got to be a way to still
5
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hold the family bonds even with this going on.
5
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So just seeing things and like, this doesn t make sense, or this is supposed to be a rehabilitation, but there s no rehabilitation going on.
5
SPEAKER_00
Where are the programs?
5
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Where are the things so that people can come out and not do the same mistakes or be better equipped to make better decisions?
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, what are we doing?
5
SPEAKER_00
And now again, being in a position, I would see all of that.
5
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But again, feel helpless.
5
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Like, what am I gonna do?
5
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I can t do anything.
5
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All I can do is go visit on the visiting days, buy some food at the vending machine, and call it a day.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, what am I going to do?
5
SPEAKER_00
But now I can do something.
5
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So it s just what I ve become so passionate about.
5
SPEAKER_00
And when I look at the young men in my program, I always say, I speak to them and look at them the same way I talk to Kyan, my son, who s 16 years old.
5
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Because they re 18.
5
SPEAKER_00
They re two years away from Kyan.
5
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And dealing with some of the same struggles and issues that I see Kyan goes through.
5
SPEAKER_00
insecure, trying to fit in, trying to be the cool kid, you know, all of these things that, you know, sometimes can lead to bad decisions and trouble if you don t have strong family and strong support, and they don t have that.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Could you tell us maybe some of the stories that you ve seen of people, you know, coming back into society and some of the moments where you re like, wow, this is like, it s inspiring and hope-forgiving.
5
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Yeah.
5
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So I did, I had a kid in my program.
5
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His name is Rondo.
5
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And while he was incarcerated, I bought someone who worked for Reform Alliance, which is founded by Michael Rubin, Meek Mill, Jay-Z.
5
SPEAKER_00
I had Jessica Jackson, who works really close with Kim Kardashian.
5
SPEAKER_00
So they came.
5
SPEAKER_00
And they visited and Rondo just stood out to them.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I remember Jessica telling him, when you get out, I m going to have a job for you.
5
SPEAKER_00
You really have blew me away, won me over.
5
SPEAKER_00
And they waited and waited for him to come out.
5
SPEAKER_00
When he came out, he came out like on a Thursday.
5
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I was at the court when they released him.
5
SPEAKER_00
He came out on Thursday.
5
SPEAKER_00
He was in that office on Monday, starting his job, working so hard, and now
5
SPEAKER_00
When you see this kid, Jay, it s unbelievable.
5
SPEAKER_00
He s traveled the whole country.
5
SPEAKER_00
He s spoken on platforms with Kim, who s my best friend, obviously, so I m like, Kim and Rondo side by side, talking about prison reform, him speaking to the Gen Z population about what needs to be done, his experiences.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m just mind blown.
5
SPEAKER_00
I found this kid in Rikers Island, fighting, dealing with so many different things, and now he s side by side with Kim and Michael.
6
SPEAKER_01
Rubin, not too long ago, I m like, he s at Michael Rubin s house, like hosting a panel and it s just, it s mind blowing.
6
SPEAKER_01
And what was it?
6
SPEAKER_01
Opportunity, change of environment, love that made the change.
6
SPEAKER_01
And we have others, you know, that are following in the same path, but it s amazing to see.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s like, it makes you just feel like it s all worth it.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like you just like everything I m doing is worth it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s beautiful.
6
SPEAKER_00
Thank you so much for sharing that with us.
6
SPEAKER_00
Of course.
6
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I think it s hard sometimes to, you know, connect the dots.
6
SPEAKER_00
I was talking to, I think you probably know Scott as well, Scott Budnick.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yes, yes.
6
SPEAKER_00
I was with Scott like a couple of weeks ago.
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He s so passionate.
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He s so passionate about this place.
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And for those people who don t know, Scott made the three Hangover movies, but then also made Just Mercy.
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Yeah.
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You know, that movie for him was all about prison reform and changing the narrative and trying to give people an opportunity and rethinking
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you know, how we feel about people and how we treat people who ve made certain decisions.
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And it s so phenomenal to hear that so many people, also all of you, are collaborating in order to do this.
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For sure.
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You can t do this type of work alone, Jay.
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You need a support system.
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My charity, again, is 360, and I m so happy to have Reform Alliance as a partner who really guide me and help me because I m new to the space.
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I m not new to the experience, but I m new to the space.
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And just learning and navigating and them just really holding my hand through the whole thing has been great.
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You can t do it alone, but it s a challenging space, but such a rewarding space at the same time.
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Yeah, Lala, you ve had such a career in the public eye, life in the public eye, what s something about you that you think people don t know that you d love them to know?
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People around me always say like, people don t know how funny you are, like I m joking around all the time, like I m always up for having a good time, like I want to be the life of the party and I love seeing everyone around have a good time.
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Those are some things, like I m just learning to just enjoy
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you know, life and and the new chapter in my life.
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You know, it still is new coming from, you know, being married, not anymore.
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And just like, what does that look like?
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And that s why I said, you know, you can t put a time frame on things.
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People would think, oh, by now she would already be in another relationship or be married again or whatever.
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And none of that has happened yet.
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And I m OK with that.
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I m just.
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going with the flow in whichever way life takes me, I m just going that way and just understanding that everything happens when it s supposed to.
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Not rushing things, just enjoying the moment.
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Yeah, I definitely found your humor came through when I first met you.
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I was just cracking up at everything you were saying and I was just like, you know, you definitely feel that when you meet someone.
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And it s interesting because yeah, I feel like people say the same when I m on stage or when I m in person, I m hopefully a lot funnier than I am on my social media page.
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When I m with my wife, I m definitely funnier because I m borrowing from her because she s hilarious.
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But it s so hard transitioning and it s so hard transitioning in the public eye because it s almost like you have all these opinions, you have other people s narratives.
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you re still trying to figure things out yourself.
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And it s almost like I almost liken it.
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I always say to people, imagine you re going through something and everyone in your family, everyone in your friend circle is talking about it and everyone has their version.
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That s what you re experiencing at a news level or a world level.
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And that s very difficult when you
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are either in that space yourself or you have friends in that space and you see how challenging it is and you re saying you re trying to enjoy the moment and you haven t, obviously like you re saying, you haven t just moved on and it s not as easy.
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Is the hardest thing about it that you thought life was going a certain way and then it didn t?
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Is that the hardest thing about it?
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That s the hardest thing.
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You don t get married to get divorced.
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Nobody gets married and says, I m getting divorced.
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You get married because you feel like you found your person and this is what the rest of your life is going to be like.
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And you start building a life with this person.
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And then something changes that you weren t prepared for, that you don t have the tools and skills to.
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No one s going to prepare you for a divorce.
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You re married right now, Jay.
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No one s telling you, Jay, come sit down.
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Let me tell you what s going to happen when you get divorced.
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Nobody s doing that.
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We re wishing you and your wife the best to ride off into the sunset forever together.
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So you re not equipped with the knowledge and the tools on what to do emotionally or anything when that happens.
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And then you just find yourself in a position
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to just figure it out.
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So that s really difficult.
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And life for me looks different right now.
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And I still have those moments where I can be at home and I m like, you could never tell me that this would be my life right now.
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And I m not saying that s a bad thing.
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I love my life right now.
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But, you know, owning a home by myself, my son and I, you know, living together.
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Then on certain days, him going to stay with his dad and then I m home alone.
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and it s still a family but separate in a sense, and just, okay, well, what time you coming home today?
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You could have never told me that that was gonna be my life, but what can I do?
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I have to adjust.
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I have to adjust and be strong and figure out what the new norm is.
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This is my new norm.
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normal and I just had to adjust to it.
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Was it easy?
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Of course not.
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And are there still days where it can hit you and be really hard?
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Yeah.
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And I want to be honest and tell people that because it s been a while for me.
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And you would really think that by now, like, that s something I never think about anymore.
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Of course, I do.
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Had a family like a beautiful family.
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And now I still have a family, but it just looks a little bit different.
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And I m OK with that.
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But it s still your moments where you re like, wow, this is this is different.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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And I guess it sounds like both of you have been able to be there for Kayan so that he s having... Yeah, the co-parenting is strong with us and that s something I m very grateful for because whatever happened between me and his dad, I don t feel like Kayan should have to suffer because of that.
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So we try to do a good job at co-parenting and still
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you know, leading with love, and kids are gonna be a reflection of what they see.
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Like, I could tell him all day, oh, you don t know, me and your dad get it, but if he sees us arguing all the time or never around each other, then it doesn t matter what I say, but we make it a point for him to see us getting along and both being there for his moments, his basketball games, his school plays, you know, parent-teacher conference, whatever it is, so he always feels supported because one day, Kyan s gonna have a family,
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And I want him to understand, you know, what having a family means.
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And even though mom and dad might not have been able to figure it out in the traditional way, we still loved you.
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And my hope is that he can do better than we did.
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And you know what it is?
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What s really interesting about that is I don t know anyone whose life is actually traditional in the traditional way.
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Even people who ve stayed together forever.
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I don t know.
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It s so interesting, right?
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Like how we have these stereotypes and these views of like what a healthy, successful relationship looks like between a family, people, friendships.
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Like my relationship with my parents is very different to what I would consider the traditional perfect relationship with your parents.
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because I just, that wasn t our way.
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And it s so interesting because you kind of almost always make yourself feel guilty or shamed for not having the traditional thing.
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But then when I actually think about it, I m like, who has the traditional setup?
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I don t know.
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And I think the more you go through life, you start understanding and realizing that.
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And now my saying is like,
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Whatever works for them.
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Who am I to judge and say it shouldn t be this way, it should only be this way.
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I mean, nothing is traditional anymore.
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People just have to figure out what works for them and what that looks like for them.
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If it works for you, that s what matters.
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Because at the end of the day, I always say, when you re going through something, when you re down, when you re depressed,
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More times than not, you re dealing with that alone.
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You have your friend support, but I m saying in those critical moments, when you re in that bathroom looking in that mirror and you re crying and going through stuff, you re going through that alone.
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So make decisions that make you happy and not worrying about what everybody else is gonna say or how people are gonna view me because in those quiet moments,
6
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You are by yourself and you have to face yourself, whatever that looks like.
6
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And I had to learn that because again, the people please earn me.
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What is this one going to say?
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Or is this one going to be mad if I do this?
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I got to make this one happy.
6
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And it was always about everybody else and putting myself last.
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And then when I, when my whole, you know, marriage came crumbling down and I was in that bed, I was there by myself and I had to deal with that by myself.
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Yeah, that s the truth.
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What is being loved by yourself and someone else look like now for you?
6
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What have you learned about how you want to be loved by yourself and potentially by anyone else?
6
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Words hold so much power, getting better at like speaking nicely to myself, being kind, not that I used to just like
6
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beat myself up and say negative things, but like, wow, look how much you ve accomplished.
6
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Look how many people you ve helped.
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Look at the son you ve raised.
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Like you ve done really, really good in the public eye.
6
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You ve never like just crumbled and fell apart.
6
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You were able to keep it together.
6
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You went through something that would break most people.
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Like what I went through would have broken a lot of people.
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And I handled it with as much grace as I possibly could.
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And afterwards, it didn t make me change.
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how I feel about like love.
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I don t know if marriage is still in the cards for me.
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It s kind of changed my perception on that.
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One of my friends was like, you cannot go on podcasts and say you re never getting married again.
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I m like, so I m open.
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I m just saying that I don t know if that s in the cards, but I m being open to whatever happens and being loved by somebody else at this point
7
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me is just really aligning with somebody that makes me feel happy, makes me feel like I can be myself, and somebody who I just enjoy being around.
7
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It s not like I m looking for someone to take care of me.
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It s not like I m looking for
7
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a father for my son, and we have all of those things.
7
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Now it s about, how are you connecting with me?
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How are you making me feel?
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And I get excited when I think that, or believe that that person is out there somewhere, and who is it gonna be?
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And when are they gonna come find me?
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I get excited about those things, because who doesn t want that in their life?
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I don t think you re meant to just go through life alone.
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Who doesn t want that?
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There s so much of what you ve said today which is so relatable to so many, so like connected to so many people s hearts.
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But you bring it out of me Jay, you just make it so comfortable and I just, I mean I follow you, I follow your words, your podcast, I m on your page all the time.
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I m always looking for quotes from your page but there s some times I gotta be careful because I m like if I post this quote they re gonna think I m talking about so and so.
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I m always like because some of your quotes are just so spot on.
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I m like that s exactly what I was
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So I m always going to your page, finding quotes.
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I have a million screenshots of your quotes in my phone.
7
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But just thank you for being there for all of us in the way that you are and just making everybody feel so comfortable and loved.
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And, you know, I ve read your book.
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I follow what you say in some of my hard moments.
7
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I refer to your podcast and different things, and it just really helps me.
7
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So I just appreciate that.
7
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You re just going to pick up the phone.
7
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Yes, I don t want to bother you.
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Okay, so then I ll pick up the phone.
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No, I just really, really, really believe that if we just look at the essence of the humanness in everyone that we meet and you just realize like everyone is so beautiful and wonderful and powerful and
7
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phenomenal but we just we ve missed it because we ve all been covered over by everything else and even that person may not be able to see that in themselves and I just I try and see people through the eyes that I hope one day they ll be able to see themselves through and that s my only goal really in how I try and live.
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I don t want to live to judge or criticize or compare or be better than anyone or holier than anyone like it s
7
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If we could always look at each other as equals, like true equals, because we are at our essence.
7
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It s so powerful.
7
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We re exactly the same.
7
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Every single person.
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Every single person.
7
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Every single animal being on this planet is exactly the same in the essence, in the pure sense of it all.
7
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And I think all we can do for each other is provide a safe space.
7
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The world s hard enough anyway.
7
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It s so hard.
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It s all hard enough anyway.
7
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So thank you for saying those kind words, but thank you for always opening your heart with me, opening your mind.
7
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And I know this is going to help so many people who listen to it.
7
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Is there anything that I didn t ask you that you wanted to share that?
7
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We always get right to it.
7
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I m sitting in this chair and it s like...
7
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And we get right to it.
7
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I think we hit on so many points and I just hope anyone listening, watching can take something away from this.
7
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I m not perfect.
7
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I ve been through a lot, still figuring life out.
7
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I don t think you ever just have it figured out.
7
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And just be kind to yourself.
7
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Be patient with yourself.
7
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Love yourself.
7
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It is so important.
7
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And definitely one thing we talked about is, you know, don t blame yourself.
7
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You know, we re all doing the best we can with what we have.
7
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No, you can hear that in your voice.
7
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It s not even, today it s not just about what you ve said.
7
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It s like you can hear that genuineness and that sincerity in your voice.
7
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It s like, I think it s really gonna land with people.
7
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So I hope everyone listens to this not once, but twice.
7
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Yeah, same, twice.
7
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And everyone who s listening and watching, make sure that you cut the, I know you guys do a great job cutting stuff for TikTok yourself, Instagram, like cut the stuff that really resonated with you, that connected with you, and share it with someone, because I m sure you ve got friends
7
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are going through breakups, maybe they re going through a divorce, maybe they re raising a kid on their own, maybe you know everything that Lal is going through.
7
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There are so many things that I know so many of you are connected to in your ecosystems, in your lives and I hope that you ll clip the bits that stand out to you, that connect to you and I hope you ll share it with others because
7
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Sometimes we just need to feel seen, heard and understood.
7
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And I think today a lot of people will feel seen, heard and understood.
7
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Thank you, Jay.
7
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Love you, appreciate you.
7
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Thank you so much.
7
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Pick up the phone.
7
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I will, I promise.
7
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You have to.
7
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I will.
7
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I mean it.
7
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If you love this episode, you will also love my interview with Kendall Jenner on setting boundaries to increase happiness and healing your inner child.
7
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You could be reading something that someone is saying about you and being like, that is so unfair because that s not who I am.
7
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And that really gets to me sometimes.
7
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But then looking at myself in the mirror and being like, but I know who I am.
7
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Why does anything else matter?
7
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The Black Effect presents Family Therapy, and I m your host, Elliot Connick.
7
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Jay is the woman in this dynamic who is currently co-parenting two young boys with her former partner, David.
7
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David, he is a leader.
7
SPEAKER_05
He just don t want to leave me.
7
SPEAKER_02
But how do you lead a woman?
7
SPEAKER_02
How do you lead in a relationship?
7
SPEAKER_02
Like, what s the blue part?
7
SPEAKER_02
David, you just asked the most important question.
7
SPEAKER_02
Listen to Family Therapy on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
7
SPEAKER_05
A new season of Bridgerton is here.
7
SPEAKER_05
And with it, a new season of Bridgerton, the official podcast.
7
SPEAKER_05
I m your host, Gabby Collins.
7
SPEAKER_05
And this season, we are bringing fans even deeper into the tun.
7
SPEAKER_05
Watch season three of the Shondaland series on Netflix.
7
SPEAKER_05
Then fall in love all over again by listening to Bridgerton, the official podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
7
SPEAKER_05
Subscribe to catch a new episode every Thursday.
7
SPEAKER_00
For all the parents out there, picture that it s bedtime.
7
SPEAKER_00
You and the kids have been busy all day.
7
SPEAKER_00
You know they re tired, but for some reason, they just won t go to sleep.
7
SPEAKER_00
And for this reason, I created the podcast Bedtime History.
7
SPEAKER_00
Bedtime History is a series of relaxing history stories that end with an inspirational message.
7
SPEAKER_00
With over 2,000 positive parent reviews, Bedtime History is one of the top education podcasts.
7
SPEAKER_00
Join me and listen to Bedtime History every Monday and Thursday on iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.