0
SPEAKER_00
Coming up next on Passion Struck, mattering stands as an elemental human yearning, an indivisible thread intricately woven into the tapestry of our shared human experience.
0
SPEAKER_00
As we grasp the profound impact of mattering on our lives, we sow the seeds of a brighter tomorrow where every soul finds purpose, every voice is heard, and every life authentically matters.
0
SPEAKER_00
Welcome to Passion Struck.
0
SPEAKER_00
Hi, I m your host, John R. Miles.
0
SPEAKER_00
And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world s most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you.
0
SPEAKER_00
Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself.
0
SPEAKER_00
If you re new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays.
0
SPEAKER_00
We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes.
0
SPEAKER_00
Now, let s go out there and become passionstruck.
0
SPEAKER_00
Hello everyone and welcome back to Momentum Friday and episode 356 of Passion Struck, consistently ranked by Apple as one of the top 10 health podcasts.
0
SPEAKER_00
And thank you to each of you who come back weekly to listen and learn how to live better, be better, and impact the world.
0
SPEAKER_00
If you re new to the show, thank you so much for being here, or you simply want to introduce this to a friend or a family member, we now have episode starter packs, which are collections of our fans  favorite episodes,
0
SPEAKER_00
that we organize into convenient topics that give any new listener a great way to get acclimated to everything we do here on the show.
0
SPEAKER_00
Either go to Spotify or passionstruck.com slash starter packs to get started.
0
SPEAKER_00
And in case you missed it earlier in the week, we had on two great guests.
0
SPEAKER_00
The first was my friend, Dr. John Deloney, who is a best-selling author, mental health expert, and host of the Dr. John Deloney Show.
0
SPEAKER_00
For over two decades, John s immersed himself in research, experienced personal growth, and compassionately guided countless others
0
SPEAKER_00
towards reclaiming their lives from the grips of anxiety.
0
SPEAKER_00
The key to this transformation lies in the power of choices, six essential choices that pave the way for a non-anxious life.
0
SPEAKER_00
These choices that he outlines in his brand new book, Building a Non-Anxious Life, are not easy, but they re stepping stones towards a brighter future, enabling you to rise above challenges and find peace amidst chaos.
0
SPEAKER_00
The second interview was with Katie Horwich, who is a writer, speaker, mindset coach, and women s empowerment activist.
0
SPEAKER_00
She s the founder of WANT, Women Against Negative Talk, a platform that s dedicated towards empowering women to move forward in their lives fearlessly by shifting their negative self-talk patterns.
0
SPEAKER_00
Katie is also the host of the WANTcast, the Women Against Negative Talk podcast.
0
SPEAKER_00
We discuss Katie s brand new book, Want Yourself, which offers a transformational approach to transform your self-talk patterns in a deep and lasting way.
0
SPEAKER_00
Please check them all out.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I wanted to say thank you for your ratings and reviews, which goes such a long way in bringing more people into the Passion Star community.
0
SPEAKER_00
If you loved today s episode or either of those other two that I mentioned, we would so appreciate you giving it a five-star rating and review and sharing it with those that you love and care about.
0
SPEAKER_00
We, and I know our guests, love to see comments from our listeners.
0
SPEAKER_00
Now, let s talk about today s Momentum Friday episode.
0
SPEAKER_00
I want you to imagine a world where you go through life unnoticed, where your presence goes unacknowledged, and your experiences go unappreciated.
0
SPEAKER_00
You find yourself isolated with no one
0
SPEAKER_00
seeking your advice, offering emotional support, or valuing your opinions.
0
SPEAKER_00
In essence, you become invisible, leaving no lasting impact on the lives of those around you.
0
SPEAKER_00
This pervasive sense of loneliness permeates even in the company of family, at your workplace, and even in your community.
0
SPEAKER_00
Now, let s cast aside that unsettling image and focus on a different reality, one where you are deeply connected to people in meaningful ways.
0
SPEAKER_00
They not only
0
SPEAKER_00
recognize your presence, but they celebrate your achievements, offer a listening ear when you face challenges, and provide constructive criticism when needed.
0
SPEAKER_00
You ve earned their trust in important matters, and your actions have brought about positive changes in their lives.
0
SPEAKER_00
In simple terms, you matter.
0
SPEAKER_00
Which of these two scenarios would you prefer?
0
SPEAKER_00
Undoubtedly, the latter, where you matter to everyone around you, holds great appeal.
0
SPEAKER_00
This inherent need to matter is a fundamental aspect of human existence.
0
SPEAKER_00
To matter means feeling important and valued by others.
0
SPEAKER_00
This significance is underscored by phrases like, you matter, which serves as the tagline for the National Suicide Prevention Hotline, and Black Lives Matter, a rallying cry against the systematic racism that s faced by many black Americans.
0
SPEAKER_00
Indeed, the core of our existence as humans is deeply intertwined with our ability to matter.
0
SPEAKER_00
In today s episode, I m going to dive deeply into the profound concept of mattering.
0
SPEAKER_00
what it entails, why it s essential, the factors that influence it, and practical ways to enhance your ability to matter, both as an individual and as a larger part of communities.
0
SPEAKER_00
life.
0
SPEAKER_00
Now let that journey begin.
0
SPEAKER_00
November 1st, 2002 was Linda Cleate-Wyman s first day as a school principal.
0
SPEAKER_00
She was assigned to a school in an area that was plagued by crime and deep poverty.
0
SPEAKER_00
Her first day was marked by a massive fight amongst girls, setting the tone for the challenging environment that she was about to confront.
0
SPEAKER_00
Determined to bring change, Linda called the students into the auditorium, intending to establish clear expectations.
0
SPEAKER_00
She began addressing them when suddenly, a girl named Ashley, way in the back of the auditorium, stood up and interrupted her with the words, Ma am, why do you keep calling this a school?
0
SPEAKER_00
This is not a school.
0
SPEAKER_00
Ashley s words struck a chord, prompting Cleat Waman to realize the profound issues that had been overlooked for years.
0
SPEAKER_00
A decade later, now 2012, Linda arrived at Strawberry Mansion High School, labeled persistently dangerous, with a history of revolving principles.
0
SPEAKER_00
The physical state of the high school mirrored the students  emotional neglect.
0
SPEAKER_00
Locked doors, dim halls, broken furniture, and classrooms that felt abandoned.
0
SPEAKER_00
Both the students and the teachers felt defeated, lacking a sense of significance and purpose.
0
SPEAKER_00
Clayette Wayman embarked on a radical transformation, focusing on every aspect of the school s environment.
0
SPEAKER_00
Three guiding principles shaped her approach.
0
SPEAKER_00
First, she emphasized personal responsibility, instilling the belief that self-leadership was the key to change.
0
SPEAKER_00
Second, she adopted, so what, now what, which implied that when faced with an issue, she would address it without giving room to any excuses.
0
SPEAKER_00
But most importantly, Clayette Wayman made it her daily ritual to tell students,
0
SPEAKER_00
If nobody told you they loved you today, you remember I do and I always will.
0
SPEAKER_00
This simple yet profound affirmation became the cornerstone of transformation.
0
SPEAKER_00
Students that were burdened by social, emotional, and economic challenges responded positively.
0
SPEAKER_00
Liat Weyman s unconditional love and belief in their potential fostered an environment where each student believed that they truly mattered.
0
SPEAKER_00
She sang happy birthday songs to students.
0
SPEAKER_00
recognizing the significance of making them feel special on their birthdays.
0
SPEAKER_00
Clear expectations were set, coupled with reminders of their potential, always concluding with the heartfelt assurance, if nobody told you that they loved you today, you remember I do and I always will.
0
SPEAKER_00
In her TED Talk, Lea Wayman emphasized that her real secret to keeping Strawberry Mansion moving forward was her unwavering love and belief in her students  possibilities.
0
SPEAKER_00
Every single student mattered to her, and this transformative approach empowered them to respond positively and to believe in their potential.
0
SPEAKER_00
Cliët Weyman s story underscores the profound impact of showing people that they matter, especially in challenging environments where the need for significance is paramount.
0
SPEAKER_00
So using Linda s story as a backdrop, let s explore what does mattering really entail.
0
SPEAKER_00
Mattering, a concept initially formulated by sociologist Morris Rosenberg, is intricately woven into the fabric of our social connections, encompassing feelings of feeling valued, appreciated, recognized, and respected.
0
SPEAKER_00
According to Professor Gordon Flett, author of The Psychology of Mattering, understanding the human need to be significant.
0
SPEAKER_00
and as colleagues at York University in Ontario, Canada.
0
SPEAKER_00
Mattering consists of four crucial components that reinforce our sense of significance.
0
SPEAKER_00
The first is attention, the experience of being seen and acknowledged by those around you.
0
SPEAKER_00
Second, importance.
0
SPEAKER_00
Feeling that people genuinely care about your well-being and are invested in your personal growth.
0
SPEAKER_00
Third, dependence.
0
SPEAKER_00
Being someone to whom others turn to for support, guidance, and resources.
0
SPEAKER_00
And fourth, appreciation.
0
SPEAKER_00
Feeling acknowledged, respected, and valued by the individuals in your life.
0
SPEAKER_00
Similarly, Brown University sociologist Gregory Elliott describes mattering as encompassing awareness, importance, and reliance, which essentially mirrors Flett s components.
0
SPEAKER_00
In essence, mattering involves capturing the attention of others, receiving
1
SPEAKER_00
oneself as important to them, feeling appreciative for one s true self, and being relied upon for various needs.
1
SPEAKER_00
However, this is only one side of the mattering equation.
1
SPEAKER_00
While mattering shares many commonalities with various self-concepts, it possesses distinct characteristics that set it apart.
1
SPEAKER_00
Here s how mattering differs from other self-concepts.
1
SPEAKER_00
While mattering is closely tied to personal identity, it goes further by emphasizing the importance of how one s identity is recognized and affirmed by others.
1
SPEAKER_00
It involves the social validation of one s authentic self, contributing to a sense of belonging.
1
SPEAKER_00
Second, it s not just social comparison.
1
SPEAKER_00
Unlike social comparison, which involves evaluating oneself relative to others, mattering focuses on the quality of interpersonal connections and the perception of being valued independent of comparisons.
1
SPEAKER_00
Mattering is also beyond self-actualization.
1
SPEAKER_00
While self-actualization pertains
1
SPEAKER_00
to realizing one s full potential.
1
SPEAKER_00
Mattering recognizes the relational aspect of this realization, encompassing an individual s impact on others and the value of their contributions within societal contexts.
1
SPEAKER_00
Mattering is not solely about receiving support.
1
SPEAKER_00
It involves feeling seen, acknowledged, and valued, encompassing a broader spectrum of relational dynamics beyond the provision of assistance.
1
SPEAKER_00
Lastly, mattering is differentiated from self-esteem and self-worth.
1
SPEAKER_00
Mattering surpasses self-esteem, which centers on an individual s evaluation of their overall worth.
1
SPEAKER_00
It involves not only personal validation, but also the perception of being valued and recognized by others, emphasizing the relational facet of significance.
1
SPEAKER_00
Understanding these nuances sheds light on the distinct nature of mattering within the realm of human psychology and interpersonal relationships.
1
SPEAKER_00
So now that we ve learned how to distinguish mattering from other self-concepts, let s look at the social structural factors that shape the power of mattering.
1
SPEAKER_00
Mattering, the perception of one s significance and relevance in society, is not solely determined by individual feelings and beliefs.
1
SPEAKER_00
It is intricately connected to social structural factors.
1
SPEAKER_00
elements of our social and cultural environment that mold our understanding of our role in the world.
1
SPEAKER_00
Next, I m going to dive into the key social structural factors that influence the power of mattering.
1
SPEAKER_00
The first is social identity.
1
SPEAKER_00
Mattering perception often hinges on one s identification with social groups based on shared characteristics like race, gender, ethnicity, religion, and social economic status.
1
SPEAKER_00
For instance, an individual might feel a strong sense of belonging within their ethnic or cultural community, but marginalized in broader society due to their minority status.
1
SPEAKER_00
Next, let s examine media and representation.
1
SPEAKER_00
Media portrayal or its absence.
1
SPEAKER_00
of various groups in movies, TV, advertising, and the news can reinforce or challenge societal norms and stereotypes.
1
SPEAKER_00
Authentic and positive representations in media can bolster mattering, while under-representation or negative portrayals can undermine it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Now let s examine its impact on educational systems.
1
SPEAKER_00
Access to quality education, equitable funding, and inclusive curricula empower individuals to feel valued and significant.
1
SPEAKER_00
Conversely, educational disparities and discrimination can lead to feelings of not mattering, particularly among marginalized groups.
1
SPEAKER_00
Economic systems, economic structures, economic insecurity, job instability, or limited access to resources can foster feelings of insignificance in a society that values financial success.
1
SPEAKER_00
Legal and political systems, equal legal protection, representation in government, and policies promoting social justice can enhance mattering of all citizens.
1
SPEAKER_00
Conversely, systematic discrimination and disenfranchisement can breed a deep sense of not mattering amongst marginalized groups.
1
SPEAKER_00
And lastly, cultural norms and beliefs.
1
SPEAKER_00
Societies prioritizing collectiveness, community, and social cohesion tend to foster a greater sense of mattering among their members.
1
SPEAKER_00
In contrast, cultures emphasizing individualism and competition may inadvertently contribute to isolation and feelings of not mattering.
1
SPEAKER_00
In summary, mattering emerges from a complex interplay between individual emotions and social structural factors.
1
SPEAKER_00
Recognizing and addressing these factors is crucial for building a more inclusive and equitable society where everyone can feel valued, recognized, and significant.
1
SPEAKER_00
Now, let s explore the innate need for mattering and its consequences when lacking.
1
SPEAKER_00
The innate need for mattering is intimately tied to emotional well-being and psychological fulfillment.
1
SPEAKER_00
When individuals perceive that they matter to those around them, it instills a strong sense of
1
SPEAKER_00
purpose, and belonging.
1
SPEAKER_00
Consequently, the recognition of one s significance forms a foundational pillar for self-esteem, resilience, and the ability to navigate life s challenges.
1
SPEAKER_00
In a comprehensive 2009 study on mattering, social psychologist Gregory Elliott of Brown University, who I mentioned earlier, explored the connection between adolescents  sense of mattering within their families and two distinct categories of issues.
1
SPEAKER_00
antisocial behaviors, and self-destructive tendencies.
1
SPEAKER_00
This extensive study, encompassing over 2,000 teenagers, underscored the pivotal role of mattering and shed light on the risks that are associated with its absence.
1
SPEAKER_00
Furthermore, the
1
SPEAKER_00
A study revealed that a lack of mattering can contribute to self-destructive behavior.
1
SPEAKER_00
Notably, adolescents who experienced a sense of mattering within their families exhibited significantly lower propensities for binge drinking, illicit drug use, and planning or attempting suicide.
1
SPEAKER_00
Numerous other studies have shown in the absence of mattering, individuals may wrestle with feelings of isolation, disconnection, and a lack of purpose.
1
SPEAKER_00
Mattering, therefore, transcends mere attention-seeking.
1
SPEAKER_00
It represents a deep-seated need to be woven into the fabric of relationships and societal structures.
1
SPEAKER_00
Its significance extends beyond personal connections to encompass contributing the collective well-being of communities and societies.
1
SPEAKER_00
So how do we enable mattering for everyone?
1
SPEAKER_00
In a prior interview with renowned journalist and author Jennifer Wallace, she illuminated a societal imbalance that places excessive emphasis on material and career achievements, often overshadowing the intrinsic value of caring relationships and neighborly kindness.
1
SPEAKER_00
Wallace passionately conveyed that the true essence of mattering transcends individual success, investing in relationships, embracing vulnerability, and fostering interdependence.
1
SPEAKER_00
At its core, mattering unfolds as a rich tapestry of belonging, extending far beyond acts of charity or empathy.
1
SPEAKER_00
As Professor Isaac Prelotensky asserted at the 2019 World Happiness Summit, mattering encompasses dismantling social injustices and advocating for fundamental human rights, including universal health care, quality housing, accessible education, and a living wage for all.
1
SPEAKER_00
Thus, a delicate equilibrium across
1
SPEAKER_00
Across the four dimensions of mattering—personal, relational, communal, and societal—proves to be paramount.
1
SPEAKER_00
An unwavering focus on any single facet may inadvertently yield unintended consequences.
1
SPEAKER_00
Genuine significance and lasting happiness emerge from harmonizing the self with others, where being valued by others harmoniously aligns with adding value to others.
1
SPEAKER_00
An essential facet of this equation is self-care, for without self-nurturance, the kindness and affection of others lose their potency.
1
SPEAKER_00
Here s a comprehensive guide to empowering mattering for all.
1
SPEAKER_00
First, cultivate inclusive spaces.
1
SPEAKER_00
Nourish environments that embrace diversity, cherishing each individual s uniqueness.
1
SPEAKER_00
By fostering discrimination-free and judgment-free spaces, we create arenas where everyone feels a profound sense of belonging and significance.
1
SPEAKER_00
Second, active listening and validation.
1
SPEAKER_00
Champion active listening in interpersonal exchanges.
1
SPEAKER_00
Providing a platform for unhindered self-expression, devoid of judgment, nurtures the invaluable feeling of being heard and validated, crucial to matter.
1
SPEAKER_00
Third, equal opportunities for all.
1
SPEAKER_00
Confront systemic obstacles and advocate for equitable access
1
SPEAKER_00
opportunities, resources, and services.
1
SPEAKER_00
By dismantling inequalities, we empower everyone, regardless of their background or circumstance, to chase their dreams and believe in the importance of their contributions.
1
SPEAKER_00
Fourth, recognize and celebrate contributions.
1
SPEAKER_00
Actively acknowledge and celebrate the contributions of each individual, whether in professional spheres or community endeavors.
1
SPEAKER_00
Recognizing the impacts of one s efforts fortifies their sense of significance and motivates continued engagement.
1
SPEAKER_00
Fifth, promote acts of kindness and inclusion.
1
SPEAKER_00
Modest gestures, like checking in on others, offering a smile, or inviting them into conversations, wield immense power in fostering a positive and inclusive milieu, validating the idea that everyone matters.
1
SPEAKER_00
Sixth, emphasize collective empowerment.
1
SPEAKER_00
Foster a culture of collective empowerment.
1
SPEAKER_00
By illuminating the interdependence of individuals and underscoring the cumulative influence of collaborative endeavors, we unite everyone with a shared purpose.
2
SPEAKER_00
bolstering their shared sense of mattering.
2
SPEAKER_00
And seventh, educate on mental health and well-being.
2
SPEAKER_00
By destigmatizing mental health challenges and offering readily accessible support resources, we ensure that individuals genuinely feel cared for, amplifying their overall sense of mattering.
2
SPEAKER_00
Incorporating these guiding principles into our societal frameworks, policies, and daily interactions catalyzes the cultivation of an inclusive and supportive environment, one where every soul perceives their significance.
2
SPEAKER_00
Our unwavering dedication to universal mattering enriches individual well-being and forges a global community bound by compassion and interconnectedness.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I ve covered a whole bunch today introducing the concept of mattering to you.
2
SPEAKER_00
Let s end by discussing how do we illuminate the power of mattering where it forges a path to collective prosperity.
2
SPEAKER_00
Mattering stands as an elemental human yearning, an invisible thread intricately woven into the tapestry of our shared experience.
2
SPEAKER_00
As we grasp the profound impact of mattering on our lives, we sow the seeds of a brighter tomorrow where every soul finds purpose.
2
SPEAKER_00
Every voice is heard, and every life authentically matters.
2
SPEAKER_00
In a world where the significance of every soul is honored, whether within the embrace of our families, the crucible of our workplaces, the intimacy of our relationships, or the grand canvas of our global society, we collectively ascend the pinnacles of prosperity.
2
SPEAKER_00
The resonance of mattering extends far beyond the individual.
2
SPEAKER_00
echoing as a transformative ripple, capable of reshaping entire communities and societies.
2
SPEAKER_00
When individuals are genuinely convinced that they matter, they alter into catalysts for benevolence, champions of social accountability, and champions of active civic involvement.
2
SPEAKER_00
This shared pursuit paves a thoroughfare to a society where mattering isn t just a lofty aspiration, but a tangible, lived actuality
2
SPEAKER_00
for all of us.
2
SPEAKER_00
By embracing the profound power of mattering in our lives, we erect the bedrock upon which a world is constructed, where every individual contributes to a more luminous, more interwoven tomorrow, a world in which every existence resonates with authentic significance.
2
SPEAKER_00
I hope you all enjoyed the show and I wanted to thank everyone who wrote in this week and especially those who came and listened to today s episode.
2
SPEAKER_00
Links to the transcript will be in the show notes.
2
SPEAKER_00
Videos are on YouTube on both John R. Miles as well as our other channel at Passion Star Eclipse.
2
SPEAKER_00
Exciting news that my book, Passion Struck, is now available for pre-order.
2
SPEAKER_00
And in it, I go through 12 powerful principles for how you can not only unlock your purpose, but ignite your most intentional life.
2
SPEAKER_00
Advertiser deals and discount codes are in one convenient place at passionstruck.com slash deals.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m on social media everywhere at Jon R. Miles, and you can sign up for my weekly newsletters at either JonRMiles.com or Passionstruck.com.
2
SPEAKER_00
You re about to hear a preview of the Passionstruck podcast interview I did with Martinez Evans, a man whose life is a testament to the power of intentionality.
2
SPEAKER_00
Martinez has embarked on a mission to make running a sport for everyone.
2
SPEAKER_00
fueled by his unwavering commitment to inclusivity, empowerment, and mattering.
2
SPEAKER_00
He is the author of The Slow AF Run Club, The Ultimate Guide for Anybody Who Wants to Run.
2
SPEAKER_01
One of the things I usually tell people is that it s really a mindset thing.
2
SPEAKER_01
For a lot of people, in their head, it s like, oh, I can t do this.
2
SPEAKER_01
I see how far you, I don t know if I can get there right.
2
SPEAKER_01
And one of the things I try to tell people is that don t fall into this comparison trap.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like your day zero will look different from my day zero, and that s okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
Your day 100 will look different from my day 100, and that s okay, because it s not where you started, it s where you re going.
2
SPEAKER_00
Remember that we rise by lifting others, so share the show with those that you love and care about.
2
SPEAKER_00
And if you found today s episode on mattering useful, then please share it with all of those people who need to hear this important message.
2
SPEAKER_00
In the meantime, do your best to apply what you hear on the show
2
SPEAKER_00
so you can live what you listen.
2
SPEAKER_00
Until next time, go out there and become Passion Striker.