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Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine, hosted by me, Danielle Robay.
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And me, Simone Boyce.
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Every weekday, we re bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.
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I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side.
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You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice that they want to share.
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Listen to The Bright Side on America s number one podcast network, iHeart.
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Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side.
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This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.
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The joy they brought to the nation.
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You re free completely.
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No one is there to destroy you.
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The danger they endured.
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They said my head should be cut off.
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I m John Legend.
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Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Guess what, Will?
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What s up, Mango?
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I ve been trying to write a promo for our podcast, Part-Time Genius, but even though we ve done over 250 episodes, we don t really talk about murders or cults.
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I mean, we did just cover the Illuminati of cheese, so I feel like that makes us pretty edgy.
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We also solve mysteries like how Chinese is your Chinese food and how do dollar stores make money?
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And then, of course, can you game a dog show?
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So what you re saying is everyone should be listening.
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Listen to Part-Time Genius on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
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This was a conversation that happened with someone else on the street yesterday.
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They were saying that they feel that when they open up to others, what they share will one day be used against them.
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And I thought, how sad is that?
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That people in this world are experiencing their intimacy turn into a weapon.
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When you re putting down your shield, someone s using that as a weapon.
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That s really difficult.
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That s a really challenging place to be.
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Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world.
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Thanks to each and every single one of you that come back every week to listen, learn and grow.
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Now, I just want to start off by saying that it has been incredible.
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to see the downloads, to see the listens just go through the roof.
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Because I know so many of you are not just listening to one episode a week, not just listening to two episodes a week, most of you are listening to an episode every single day.
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And that truly blows my mind.
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because it shows me that we re living in a world that is hungry to grow, hungry to improve, hungry to feel better.
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And I m just blown away on a daily basis seeing the love that you continue to show me.
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And I just want you to know that when I m planning these sessions,
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When I m preparing for them, I m thinking about each and every one of you and hoping that I can share insights and practical steps to helping you in your work, your relationships, and your life.
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And I just want to thank you.
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I bumped into so many of you this week.
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I was in New York.
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speaking to strangers, speaking to some of you on the streets, whoever I bumped into.
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And I had such a fulfilling time.
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And I just want to say how much I deeply appreciate meeting you.
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And again, I m going to say this to you.
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If you see me on the streets or anywhere, please say hello because it makes my day.
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And I will give you a massive hug if you tell me you listen to the podcast.
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So today I m talking about the seven scientifically proven ways to know you re falling in love.
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I find this subject matter so deeply fascinating because I believe that love is one of those things that we re addicted to learning more about.
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So a lot of the studies show that men might experience feelings of love faster than women.
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Some say almost six weeks earlier.
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But men are also the ones to say, I love you first.
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Even though what I find most fascinating is a lot of the times when men have said that, they also fall out of love faster as well.
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And so men fall into love faster and they fall out of love faster as well.
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Studies show that women might say, I love you more often.
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And women take a bit longer to fall in love as they are predisposed to being more thoughtful about using those words and about making that decision.
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So what s really fascinating about love is that we see people use this word as being appropriate for many different feelings.
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Someone could just be deeply attracted to you and they call it love.
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some people could just be admirers of you and they call it love.
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Some people may just be lustful after you and they call it love.
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And so we ve got to be really careful about the way we use the word love because the idea of love is in itself so intoxicating that we don t always think about the use of the word.
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So when I m telling you today the scientifically proven ways to know you re falling in love,
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We re talking about the love that I m defining as a love that s going to last, a love that you re going to invest in, a love that you re willing to put the work into.
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I think for me, I know that I ve met people who could fall in lust with a new person every month.
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Literally every month they would come to me and say, I m really into this person.
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Oh, I m really into this person.
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I m really into this person.
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Oh yeah, no, now I m into this person.
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And if someone s looking for that quick win, that quick feeling of pleasure, then that can be a really good recipe.
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But for those of us that want to have long-lasting, deep, fulfilling relationships with one person, these are the signs that you re falling in love with them.
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Some of them are going to be ones that you recognize.
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Some of them are going to be ones that surprise you.
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So let s get going.
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The first one that I want to share with you is that this one, I mean, I m sharing this one with you, but this isn t the easiest one to measure.
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But I know that all of you are going to get a heart rate monitor or a stethoscope out after this, even with your partners, even if you re dating already.
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This one s brilliant.
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You ve started breathing in time with them.
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How amazing is that?
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That when you start falling in love with someone, you start breathing in time with them.
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So studies show that humans start to emulate another person s body language, but also their breathing when they re feeling a sense of connectivity.
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And that holds true for couples that are in love.
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One scientific report study of 22 long-term couples found that when the two were sitting together, even when they weren t touching, their breath and heart rates naturally fell into time with each other.
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If one was in pain and they weren t able to touch, the connection was lost.
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but bringing contact back, help them sync up again.
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I really find this one interesting because I love when emotions obviously can be proven through biology, and it s really interesting.
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So next time you re together, put your hand on each other s heart, see if your hearts are beating at the same rate, at the same pace, if you really want to get a heart monitor out and check as well.
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And it s a beautiful practice to start breathing together.
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My wife and I often meditate together.
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As I ve always said, Radhi wakes up a little bit earlier than me, an hour earlier than me, but Radhi wakes up a little bit earlier than me and she ll be meditating for an hour by the time I get up and start meditating.
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So maybe we ll get like half an hour to an hour together.
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And what I find really special about that is we feel so in sync.
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not just on a values basis, from a breathing basis and perspective, and also aligned at the beginning of the day.
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And I know that for Radhi, that makes such a big difference to how she feels aligned with me when she knows we re getting that morning time together.
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This is one of the reasons why couples who emulate and mimic each other s routines also have healthier relationships.
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When couples are waking up at a similar time, when they re sleeping at a similar time,
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And notice how I say similar, not same, because two people are not the same.
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When we demand that our partner goes to sleep at the same time as us or wakes up at the same time as us, that can be really harmful in a relationship.
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That can actually be quite detrimental in a relationship, because for most people, that s just not real.
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But a similar time is healthy when you get into bed at the same time, but maybe one of you likes to read a little bit before you go to bed.
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Maybe one of you likes to do a meditation on your own before you go to bed.
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But getting into bed at the same time, having dinner together every day, there are small routine habits.
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that we can create with our partners when we start to synergize.
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What s really interesting is that when most people start dating they spend a lot of time together so they feel a lot of synergy.
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Then when you get married or you move in or you start dating where you are living together and cohabitating, during that time we start to see routines become very different.
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I had one friend
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who her boyfriend would want to play video games all night till 4 a.m.
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and she d want to sleep at 10 p.m.
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and wake up at 7 a.m.
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to get on with her day.
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He d want to get into bed at 4 a.m.
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and wake up at 11 a.m.
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right because his work was more flexible.
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Now, I m not saying either of them are right or wrong, but that naturally causes distance in a relationship.
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You may think that that s okay, but it won t be sustainable.
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And so at one point, both of you have to ask what s more important, this relationship or me playing video games till 4am?
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Now, I m sure that you ll choose FIFA if you choose video games.
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No, I m kidding.
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I m hoping that you ll choose your relationship, but
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It s really fascinating to me that not only are your breaths aligned, when your routines are aligned, when your mealtimes are aligned, this creates a synergy in your relationship.
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So I want you to think about, what s the one thing you can do every day with your partner that makes you feel connected?
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Is it that you have breakfast together?
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Is it that you have dinner together?
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Is it that you sleep at the same time or wake up at the same time or similar time?
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What is that one habit a day that you re going to do together?
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For me and Radhi, it s definitely been having our evening tea.
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Right, sometimes I m really tired from a lot of late events and I want to sleep in a little bit.
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Or sometimes she s out for dinner or meeting someone.
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But we found that having our evening tea together has been a really powerful routine to sync and synergize.
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If you want a long lasting relationship, what is your synergy habit?
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What is your synergy routine that you do every single day?
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Now notice how I didn t mention watching a show.
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I m not going to say that you can t watch a show together, but you discussing the show is more important than you watching the show.
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So if you are going to watch an episode of your favorite show, discuss it.
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Take five, 10 minutes at the end of it to have a bit of a reflection about it.
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If you are going to watch a movie, conversate about it.
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It may be the next day, maybe you need time to digest, but have a moment where you re actually communicating with each other.
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This isn t just about physical proximity.
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This is about genuine synergy, right?
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This is not about physical proximity.
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It s about emotional synergy.
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Now, the second scientifically proven way to know that you re falling in love is you generally have a more optimistic view on life.
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You ve started to look at the challenges and troubles through a different lens.
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It s not that you re ignoring tough things, but you re able to see the good in them.
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You re able to learn from them.
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You re able to feel that you re growing as an individual and you re able to expand your worldview.
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A study of 245 young adult couples published in the Journal of Personality found that being in a relationship made individuals less neurotic and more optimistic.
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If you ve noticed your own attitude changing, you might be gearing up for a long, healthy relationship.
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Now, I hadn t seen Riley for a bit because we were both traveling for work.
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And I m going to see her in a couple of days.
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And I cannot be more excited.
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I have to share this with you.
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I wrote Riley this note for when she was coming back, but she was coming back while I was away.
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And the note talks about how
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You know, she s the heart of our home.
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We re fortunate enough to have a beautiful home.
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But when she s not in that home, it doesn t have the same light.
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It doesn t have the same spark.
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It doesn t have the same feeling.
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And the world seems like a more beautiful place when Radhi s in that world with me.
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And we ve been together now for nearly 10 years.
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We ve been married for six.
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The fact that I still feel that way about her makes me really happy.
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But think about that.
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Does being with your partner make you feel like the world s a better place?
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Maybe it s because you have someone to turn to.
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Maybe it s because you have someone to connect with.
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Maybe it s because you know that you can rely on having someone there to share your feelings with.
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I bumped into someone yesterday on the streets of New York, and he was telling me that
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Well, I was standing up at the sign in New York City that said, one in four people you know, is struggling with a mental health condition.
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If you need to talk, I m here for you.
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And so many people stopped to talk to me.
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And one of the gentlemen who stopped to talk to me and he wasn t aware of the podcast, the book or anything like that.
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He just stopped because he needed to share his heart.
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And he said to me that recently he broke up and the conversation he was having with me, a random person on the street, he didn t identify me as Jay Shetty, he just literally bumped into me on the street, saw the sign.
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He told me that he usually has that conversation with his ex-girlfriend, now ex-girlfriend, and now he doesn t know who to have it with.
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And so you can see how the world seems like a quieter, darker, harder place because he no longer has someone to share his deep, vulnerable, open feelings with.
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So ask yourself, are you becoming more optimistic around this person?
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Are you feeling more positive because of them?
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Are you feeling positive about them?
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But more importantly, are you also feeling positive about life?
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I think often we think of love as, I love them.
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They are amazing.
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They are special.
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They are unique.
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And I think that that s wonderful, but I think over time that feeling is difficult for a lot of people to maintain, especially when we come across challenges in a relationship.
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But really what you re asking is, has your worldview positively changed by being with them?
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Do you think you re more open?
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Do you think you re open to more adventure?
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Do you think you re open to trialing new things?
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Do you think you are saying yes to new opportunities?
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Is that coming around?
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Are you someone who,
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Is restricting yourself because of this person and limiting yourself?
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Or are you expanding and extending yourself?
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So that is the second scientifically proven way to know you re falling in love.
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The third one is you have a similar sense of humor.
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Now when Radhi and I got together, we banter a lot.
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It s like British banter where you almost sound like you re cussing each other.
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It s almost like you re playing that game like your mama jokes with each other.
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People get really uncomfortable around us sometimes.
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Sometimes they see us having this conversation and they re like, is your relationship okay?
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Are you guys okay?
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And we just have a very similar sense of humor where we can just dig into each other for fun and banter with each other and we enjoy that.
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Now, we also like laughing at the same movies, the same jokes, the same stories.
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Radhi does think I m funny.
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Sometimes she ll say I m not, but overall I believe she thinks I m funny.
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Radhi is hilarious, right?
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I find her ridiculously funny and she thinks that s just because I love her, but I actually think a lot of people find her funny.
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And research published in Evolutionary Psychology found that laughing at another person s jokes was a sign of dating interest in that person.
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But the best signal of romantic interest was if both people were cracking up together.
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Laughter shows warmth, so giggling together means you re feeling a mutual connection.
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So it s a really good idea to go to a comedy club as one of your dates.
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It s a really good idea to go to a funny movie as one of your early dates to see if you have the same sense of humor.
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to see if you have the same values around humor.
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Now, I have to be honest and say that there are limits to this as well.
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I m sitting in this room right now, I m recording with my man, Paul Brazil, who s been my videographer since day one, since I moved to New York.
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I worked with Raj in London, and then when I moved to New York, I ve worked with Paul for the last five years.
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And Paul and me have been to see comedy shows together.
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We ve been to see funny movies together.
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I think we have a similar sense of humor.
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He s nodding along, so I think he s agreeing.
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But at the same time, me and Radhi have the same sense of humor, although there are some limits.
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I remember taking Radhi to watch a movie that she found extremely offensive, and I found extremely hilarious and could appreciate, and...
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there is a limit to that kind of humor.
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Maybe it s a bit more bro humor, a bit more dude humor, and Radhi definitely does not appreciate that.
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So again, this is not saying that you have to laugh at the same things all the time or agree on everything all the time, but that you have a similar sense of humor.
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Stress, anxiety, overwhelm, burnout.
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What do all of these have in common?
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A lack of perceived control over your time, thoughts and tasks.
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But what if I told you fixing all of these problems is as simple as fixing your mindset towards them?
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I know, not simple at all.
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Everyone s busy, everyone s stressed, but we could all use more calm in our lives, and learning to stay grounded and grateful is truly a daily practice.
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That s why I ve partnered with Calm.com to bring you the Daily J. If you ve ever wanted to meditate with me and take back control over your busy mind, join me on the Calm app for the Daily J, a daily guided meditation where I ll help you find calm in the chaos, plant beautiful intentions,
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for a happy, abundant life, and simple steps for positive actions to get you closer to the life of your dreams.
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Meditate with me by going to calm.com forward slash J to get 40% off a Calm Premium membership.
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That s only $42 for the whole year for daily guided meditations.
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Experience the daily J only on Calm.
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When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it s powerful.
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That s where The Bright Side comes in.
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A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that s bringing you a daily dose of joy.
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I m Danielle Robay.
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And I m Simone Boyce.
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Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters.
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We ve covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy, but The Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new and get into some friendly debates.
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That s right, join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side.
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We ll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you.
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Whether it s relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life s transitions, we ll talk through it all together.
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Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Hey everyone, this is Molly and Matt and we re the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.
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It s a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting.
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like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.
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We re back with season two of the podcast, which means more opportunities to glow up and become a more responsible and better adult, one life lesson at a time.
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And let me just tell you, this show is just as much for us as it is for you.
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So let s figure this stuff out together.
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This season, we re going to talk about whether or not we re financially and emotionally ready for dog ownership.
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We re going to figure out the benefits of a high yield savings account.
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And what exactly are the duties of being a member of the wedding party?
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All that plus so much more.
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Let s learn about all of it and then some.
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Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Guess what, Bango?
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What s up, Will?
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So iHeart is giving us a whole minute to promote our podcast, Part-Time Genius.
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I know, that s why I spent my whole week composing a haiku for the occasion.
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It s about my emotional journey in podcasting over the last seven years, and it s called Earthquake House.
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Mango, I m going to cut you off right there.
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Why don t we just tell people about our show instead?
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Yeah, that s a better idea.
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So every week on Part-Time Genius, we feed our curiosity by answering the world s most important questions.
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Things like, when did America start dialing 911?
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Is William Shatner s best acting work in Esperanto?
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Also, what happened to Esperanto?
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Plus, we cover questions like how Chinese is your Chinese food?
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How do dollar stores stay in business?
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And of course, is there an Illuminati of cheese?
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There absolutely is.
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And we are risking our lives by talking about it.
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But if you love mind-blowing facts, incredible history and really bad jokes, make your brains happy and tune in to Part-Time Genius.
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Listen to Part-Time Genius on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
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The next scientifically proven way to know you re falling in love is that you feel like you can be honest with someone, like there s no more secret keeping.
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And it says that intimacy is the biggest factor that sets love apart from the attraction you feel in the early days of dating, says Marissa T. Cohen, PhD, co-founder of the Relationship Lab.
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And she says that intimacy involves self-disclosure.
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So if you feel like you can share your secrets with someone, if you feel like you can be honest with someone, if you feel like you can be transparent with someone, chances are that there s a sign that there s love.
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Now, this isn t about, are you transparent?
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Are you an open book?
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This is, do you feel like you can actually share something with them?
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And the reason why we don t share things with other people is because we re scared they re going to be used against us.
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This was a conversation that happened with someone else on the street yesterday.
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They were saying that they feel that when they open up to others, what they share will one day be used against them.
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And I thought, how sad is that?
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Like how heartbreaking is that?
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That people in this world are experiencing their intimacy turned into a weapon.
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Imagine your secrets are being turned into weapons.
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Your emotional outpouring is being turned into a weapon against you.
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When you re putting down your shield, someone s using that as a weapon.
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That s really difficult.
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That s a really challenging place to be.
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Now, you may say, well, Jay, how do you know?
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How do you know?
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Sometimes you feel like you want to be open and honest with someone.
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Sometimes you want to open your heart to someone.
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Sometimes you do trust them, but you never know if they re going to use it as a weapon.
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That s why you want to wait.
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Just because you feel like telling someone the truth doesn t mean you re in love.
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What true love is, when you share your truth, that person honors that truth.
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They don t use it against you in a fight.
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They don t manipulate you with it.
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They don t use it as a form of control or a method of bargaining or negotiating.
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It s used to support you.
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It s used to help you.
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It s used to propel you forward and uplift you.
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And so you don t feel like you need to keep secrets.
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But really how they respond to that secret is the sign of love or not.
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You may be in love because you want to share it, but whether they re in love with you or not is based on how they respond.
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I often say to people that sometimes when you start dating and someone tells you something really open and honest, maybe they open up to you and they say, hey, I have a porn addiction.
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Or maybe they open up to you and say, hey, I used to be an alcoholic.
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Or maybe they open up to you and say, I m really struggling with X, Y, Z, or Zed, as I would say.
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A lot of the times that can be quite alarming and we can be quite taken aback and caught off guard because we didn t want to know that about them.
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We almost don t want it to be true.
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And so we actually retaliate.
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We actually reflect poorly on them because we re like, well, I didn t want to know that about you, so you can t be that.
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I don t want you to be that.
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And we re actually upset by it.
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But actually, the fact that they ve disclosed that with you is an incredible sign of openness, is an incredible sign of genuineness.
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Now, I m not saying you have to stay with that person or you have to respect the challenge that they have or help them through it.
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But don t write someone off because they are honest with you.
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Don t write someone off because they re honest with you and you don t like their honesty.
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Because I think a lot of us are like, I wish I was with someone honest.
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I wish I was with someone transparent.
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But then when someone is honest or transparent, we re uncomfortable with their honesty and transparency.
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So if someone is honest and transparent with you,
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even if you re not comfortable with it, thank them and acknowledge them for doing that.
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Because if you react poorly, they re then going to be scared to share that with someone else.
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So if you react badly to their honesty, they may never feel comfortable to be honest with someone else, because they ll think every time they re honest with someone, they scare someone away.
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That s one of the first reasons why we all stop blocking ourselves and
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bounding up ourselves from actually telling people how we truly feel is because if they re scared, it s going to scare them away.
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So being honest and transparent.
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All right, the next scientifically proven way to know you re falling in love is when you re making plans, you think about your partner, you include them.
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when instead of saying, I think this, you start saying, we believe, or we think, or we started doing this, right?
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You re not just thinking about what you want and what you need to do, you re thinking about what you both need.
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And I remember feeling this way with Ravi when I started to recognize that I wasn t an I anymore, I was a we, I wasn t a me, I was an us.
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And I started to recognize that my decisions affected both of us.
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when I realized that my decisions now affected both of us, they didn t change my decisions, but they changed how I communicated with them.
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And I think that s where people go wrong.
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People think that when you become a we or an us instead of an I and a me, you now have to change your decisions.
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I would say I didn t change my decisions, but I changed how I communicated and directed those decisions.
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So if I got a work trip where I had to travel, it s not that I was going to say no to that trip.
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I would make Radhi aware in advance that, hey, I ve got this opportunity.
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This is why I really want to take it.
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I think it would be really great for us if I go and do this, right?
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And I want you to know so that you can plan something or do whatever you want that weekend when I ll be traveling for work.
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So notice how you re not just saying, okay, this is right for me, so I m going to do it.
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Or, oh, my wife s going to be upset with me if I m there, so I m going to cancel it.
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It s no, I m going to communicate why I think this is good for us, why it s helpful to us.
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Maybe we want to invest a bit more in this area this year.
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Maybe we want to travel this year a bit more, and I need to go and do a bit of extra work for that, whatever it may be.
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Right?
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So you include