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SPEAKER_00
Hello.
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SPEAKER_00
Hello.
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SPEAKER_00
Hello.
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SPEAKER_00
Is this Geck?
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
Who is this?
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SPEAKER_00
Hey, what s up, Geck?
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SPEAKER_00
My name s Andrew.
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SPEAKER_01
Andrew, what s going on, man?
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SPEAKER_00
Okay.
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SPEAKER_00
So I guess I ll just start where I texted you.
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SPEAKER_00
So I m 34 now, which, you know, I mean, great midlife crisis or whatever.
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SPEAKER_00
I came up from a pretty bad situation, broken home, drug addiction, all that stuff.
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SPEAKER_00
as I ve progressed in my life, I ve kind of, uh, I ve straightened it all out, but I find myself in like bouts of depression and just absolute boredom.
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SPEAKER_00
The, the, the mundane day to day is like, it s killing my soul.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
In spite of the exciting life that I used to have, you know?
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SPEAKER_01
Well, how excited, I mean, and you ll, you know, only you can truthfully answer this question, but how exciting was it really?
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SPEAKER_01
I mean, so,
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SPEAKER_00
Just as an example, some of the escapades or whatever that I was getting into, I kind of had a violent streak back then.
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SPEAKER_00
So I would definitely get a fix of adrenaline on a regular basis when I was doing drugs.
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SPEAKER_01
When you say a violent streak, you were like?
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SPEAKER_00
I was clubbing people with tire irons.
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SPEAKER_00
It was pretty bad.
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SPEAKER_01
Okay.
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SPEAKER_00
Okay.
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SPEAKER_00
Thankfully, I was one of those people that just wouldn t take a plea deal, so I don t have a criminal record now.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh, there we go.
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SPEAKER_01
Wait.
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SPEAKER_01
When you say you didn t take a plea deal, what does that mean?
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SPEAKER_00
I mean, I was arrested for a lot of this stuff, but I refused to take whatever plea deal that they were trying to throw at me in California.
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SPEAKER_00
And when I was trying to take it to court, they would always find some way of either expunging or sealing the record.
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SPEAKER_01
Go ahead, I ll save my questions to the end.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, no, it s fine.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I was just saying, like, so with it being sealed and stuff, my record s actually pretty pristine in spite of everything that I was doing.
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SPEAKER_01
And how long have you been clean from meth for?
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SPEAKER_00
It has got to be about 14 years now.
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SPEAKER_00
I really didn t keep track.
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SPEAKER_00
But I want to say the last time that I, I can t do math.
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SPEAKER_00
Um, I was 24 when I stopped.
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SPEAKER_00
So it s been almost 10 years, I guess.
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SPEAKER_01
And when you say, when you, when you use the phrase excitement, are you referring to like, uh, all the, all the crazy stuff you were doing 10 years ago?
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, absolutely.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
But now in the past 10 years, has anything given you as much if not more excitement than clubbing someone with a tire iron?
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SPEAKER_00
Not really.
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SPEAKER_00
If I m being fully honest about it, not really.
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SPEAKER_00
I ve found myself just being really bored.
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SPEAKER_00
I mean, I went from basically borderline poverty
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SPEAKER_00
I m making about $125,000 a year now running my own business.
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SPEAKER_00
And I still haven t found anything that really brings me a sense of passion, I guess.
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SPEAKER_01
What do you do?
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SPEAKER_00
So I actually have a dog walking business that I didn t think was going to turn out to be as big as it did.
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SPEAKER_00
But since I m primarily working in affluent areas, I m able to kind of overcharge and
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SPEAKER_00
It honestly took off to a point that I wasn t expecting it to.
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SPEAKER_01
Can I ask what city you re in or state?
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SPEAKER_00
I am near Palm Beach Island, Florida.
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SPEAKER_01
Okay.
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SPEAKER_01
And what s your family life like?
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SPEAKER_01
Do you have a girlfriend or anything like that?
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SPEAKER_00
I ve had a series of long-term relationships that just didn t work out.
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SPEAKER_00
So currently, no, I m single.
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SPEAKER_00
Actually, for the first time in
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
And since I was 17, I m actually like single and have been remaining so on purpose.
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SPEAKER_00
And then my family life is kind of touchy.
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SPEAKER_00
It s just my family started off with the drug thing and then I just kind of picked it up later as I got older.
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SPEAKER_00
So it took me years to kind of get to a point where I would bridge that gap with them.
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SPEAKER_01
So you ve been clean and sober.
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SPEAKER_01
for 10 years.
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SPEAKER_01
And have you been, when did you start this dog walking business?
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SPEAKER_00
Uh, about seven years back.
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SPEAKER_01
Okay.
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SPEAKER_01
So have you just been bored for 10 years since you stopped, uh, doing all that stuff?
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SPEAKER_00
Honestly?
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Um, you know, my, my day to day, like, I think the most exciting things that I get to do at this point is video games or gambling.
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SPEAKER_00
And I think it s mostly gambling because I just kind of enjoy being around degenerates.
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SPEAKER_01
How s the gambling going?
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SPEAKER_00
You know, up and down.
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SPEAKER_01
And the whole time it s been in Palm Beach?
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SPEAKER_00
More or less.
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SPEAKER_00
I mean, it s been Palm Beach County.
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SPEAKER_01
Do you have a lot of friends down there?
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SPEAKER_00
I wouldn t say a lot, but I have pretty good quality friends.
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SPEAKER_00
I have about like eight people that I regularly kind of, you know, uh, talk with or meet up with for lunches and stuff like that.
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SPEAKER_01
That s a lot.
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SPEAKER_01
That s good.
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SPEAKER_01
That s a lot of friends, eight friends.
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SPEAKER_00
But if I m being absolutely honest about it, it s just that there is no comparing, uh, going and getting Chipotle with a couple of friends and then like hitting a trampoline park.
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SPEAKER_00
to basically assailing a guy in the back parking lot somewhere at a bar.
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SPEAKER_01
I mean, for real, man, when you look back upon violent street, do you look at it fondly?
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SPEAKER_00
A little bit.
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SPEAKER_00
Most of the people that I ended up having interactions with back then in that capacity,
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SPEAKER_00
They kind of deserved it.
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SPEAKER_00
They re they re kind of piece of shit.
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SPEAKER_00
I mean, these are people that would like steal money and beat their kids and shit.
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SPEAKER_00
And I was like, oh, yeah, cool.
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SPEAKER_00
No one s going to care then.
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SPEAKER_00
It s fine.
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SPEAKER_01
You sound like you re you re primed to become the Palm Beach Batman, if that s what you really want to do.
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SPEAKER_00
Don t want to like I really like I don t want to I I want to enjoy the life that I have But at the same time I just find it so boring Is okay, I mean over the past 10 years have there been any inkling of anything that you desire to want to do outside of hitting people To be honest
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SPEAKER_00
Realistically, I just kind of maybe start some kind of nonprofit or some kind of like charity that would benefit the overpopulated dog pounds, the things like that.
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SPEAKER_00
I do have a kind of a passion towards helping animals.
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SPEAKER_00
And while I m working with, you know, dogs on a regular basis, these are all very affluent families with very well taken care of pets.
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SPEAKER_00
And there s just so many that are like discarded and treated badly that I would really like to have
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SPEAKER_00
you know, a solid place to like, just keep them safe, well fed, safe, played with.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t know, man.
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SPEAKER_01
Uh, it s interesting.
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SPEAKER_01
And I, I, I feel you on just like life being boring.
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SPEAKER_01
Cause you know, I guess I m doing, uh,
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SPEAKER_01
Like, I can t sit still either.
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SPEAKER_01
I always feel like I have to be fucking doing something.
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SPEAKER_01
And I ve typically been able to...
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SPEAKER_01
fulfill that by, you know, working on projects and work and whatnot.
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SPEAKER_01
So, I mean, I think, I think a nonprofit s a good idea.
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SPEAKER_01
I mean, it s certainly, I m going to say a nonprofit helping abused animals is a better idea for you to cure your boredom than to beat people up.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Even if they deserve it.
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SPEAKER_00
I think that s fair to say, and I agree with you.
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SPEAKER_00
It s probably a better use of my energy, and it would probably benefit the world more.
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SPEAKER_00
How do I really just get over the fact that it s just so goddamn mundane?
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SPEAKER_00
There is no rush to it at all.
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SPEAKER_00
It s all just strategizing, putting the money aside, and making sure that you re scoping out the right property.
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SPEAKER_00
and pushing paperwork, man.
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SPEAKER_01
Well, okay, well, okay.
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SPEAKER_01
So we re talking about two different things here, because you re saying there s no adrenaline, there s a difference between running a small dog walking business is not as exciting as beating people up.
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SPEAKER_01
And nothing is as exciting as beating people up.
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SPEAKER_01
Correct.
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SPEAKER_00
I mean, yeah, just for example, beating people up.
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SPEAKER_00
I mean, there was obviously other things, you know, running from police, doing all sorts of just kind of outlandish experiences that I can look back on and say, well, you know, not everybody got to do that.
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SPEAKER_00
And I did.
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SPEAKER_01
Well, let me ask you this, because, I mean, I assume, are you part of any recovery communities?
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SPEAKER_01
Are you in N.A.
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SPEAKER_01
or anything like that?
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SPEAKER_00
No, I m actually really bad about that.
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SPEAKER_00
I stopped on my own.
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SPEAKER_00
So I kind of have a superiority complex about it.
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SPEAKER_00
Like, oh, why don t you just quit?
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SPEAKER_00
I did.
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SPEAKER_01
Well, I guess I mean, I m asking because it s a very common idea of one taking the excitement that they found in whatever their negative behavior was and finding it in something else.
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SPEAKER_01
So it s been done before.
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SPEAKER_00
Right.
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SPEAKER_00
Um, yeah, I just, I really haven t, uh, I guess engaged with that community, uh, on that level.
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SPEAKER_00
Uh, and, and, you know, part of it s me getting my own way.
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SPEAKER_00
I know that, um, you know, I, I can acknowledge my own superiority complex when it comes to it.
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SPEAKER_00
I, I, I definitely feel like I m kind of above it and that s not a good thing, but it s just the reality of how I m thinking about it.
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SPEAKER_00
Um,
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SPEAKER_00
But I understand that there is a community there that could probably help me kind of redirect some of this excess energy that I have.
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SPEAKER_01
I mean, well, I m also very interested that this is not a new problem.
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SPEAKER_01
This is something you ve been.
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SPEAKER_01
having to figure out slow simmering the past 10 years and so I m curious in what ways you ve addressed attempted to whether successfully or unsuccessfully address this issue in these past 10 years mostly I just say it is what it is and I try and move on day to day but over the course of thousands of days obviously it gets a little
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SPEAKER_00
it s a little hard to continue to just blow it off like that.
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SPEAKER_00
That being said, you know, I mean, I m still doing pretty well for myself and I understand that I can t go back to that kind of a lifestyle because it is absolutely a waste of my time here.
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SPEAKER_00
So, like, at least I have that understanding and since I know I have that understanding, like, it s a little too introspective, but yeah, since I have the understanding of that, I feel
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SPEAKER_00
Like it s easier for me to just kind of push through the boring parts.
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SPEAKER_01
You should, I have a movie for you to watch.
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SPEAKER_01
It s not helpful at all.
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SPEAKER_01
It s called The Incredibles.
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SPEAKER_01
I ve seen it.
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SPEAKER_01
You ve seen The Incredibles?
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SPEAKER_01
It s like this guy, I mean, it s different because it wasn t, he wasn t into meth, but like, you know, he was, he was, he liked to beat people up.
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SPEAKER_01
that he felt like deserved it.
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SPEAKER_01
That was his thing.
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SPEAKER_01
And he was doing pretty good at doing that.
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SPEAKER_01
And then he quit.
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SPEAKER_01
And he went into insurance.
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SPEAKER_01
And it made him depressed.
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SPEAKER_01
And then he went to the jungle.
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SPEAKER_01
And then I think he started beating people up again.
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SPEAKER_01
You know what?
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SPEAKER_01
All right, don t watch that movie.
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SPEAKER_01
Nevermind.
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SPEAKER_01
Forget I said anything.
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SPEAKER_00
All right.
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SPEAKER_00
Go to the Amazon start beating people up.
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SPEAKER_00
Perfect.
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SPEAKER_00
Got it.
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SPEAKER_01
I mean, you could go to the Amazon.
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SPEAKER_01
You could probably be a wrestler.
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SPEAKER_01
I mean, I don t know.
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SPEAKER_01
I only have my own perspective on the world and the perspectives of everyone who I ve ever talked to.
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SPEAKER_01
If they, you know, nuzzle their way into my brain, which I mean, I guess is encompassed in my own perspective of the world.
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SPEAKER_01
But I found like when I get when I get fucking bored, I just I travel, I go places.
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SPEAKER_01
Do you?
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SPEAKER_01
I mean, do you have the flexibility to do that with your dog walking business?
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SPEAKER_00
So I m actually going to be going to New Orleans here in June just so I can kind of get out of my funk because I have not left Palm Beach County in the last seven years since I started this.
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SPEAKER_00
I ve been very stationary and stuck here.
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SPEAKER_00
No, because I haven t even I mean.
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SPEAKER_01
I mean, how much of an attempt have you made to find, you know, new and interesting things to do that aren t, you know, fantasizing about like running from the cops and stuff?
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SPEAKER_00
Well, I just I don t have a lot of people that I trust enough to do my job since I am working with like multimillionaires and stuff and I have to be
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SPEAKER_00
basically free key access to their homes and stuff.
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SPEAKER_00
I really I don t want the liability of somebody that I don t fully trust going into their house and possibly rooting through their shit.
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SPEAKER_01
Maybe, you know, maybe not the people that you re meeting at the blackjack table.
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SPEAKER_00
Probably not.
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SPEAKER_00
Probably not the degenerates that I prefer to spend time around.
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SPEAKER_01
Not that not not that there aren t, you know, respectable upstanding citizens playing blackjack, but you did refer to them as degenerates.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and you know, I just, I mean, don t get me wrong, my close circle of friends, I mean, these are good people, they re firefighters and shit, but they don t wanna come walk dogs, they wanna be firefighters.
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SPEAKER_00
You know?
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SPEAKER_01
What are you doing in New Orleans?
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SPEAKER_00
Probably just gonna go out there and drink in excess, celebrate my friend s birthday while we re there.
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SPEAKER_00
talk, talk to women that are not from my town.
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SPEAKER_00
And yeah, catch a flight back.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t know if this is helpful or even what but I ve been thinking about this a lot because I sometimes think that
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SPEAKER_01
I m also very much in this process of trying to figure out how to make my life, like, good.
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SPEAKER_01
But that s not to say it s already good, but I kind of am like, you know, like I just went to Thailand for 10 days and I m traveling a lot and whatever and I m kind of like...
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SPEAKER_01
Is my life gonna be better because I m going out and going crazy and having all these experiences and this and that and the other thing?
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SPEAKER_01
Or is it gonna be better because internally in my own brain, I ve adopted a mindset of gratefulness and appreciation for the things in my life, whatever those things are.
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SPEAKER_01
And I m wondering about that because like, you know, um, I ve done, uh, you know, all this crazy stuff, whatever.
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SPEAKER_01
Uh, and I am, I am still, you know, day to day struggling with, uh,
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SPEAKER_01
trying, like, you know, feeling good about life.
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SPEAKER_01
And so I wonder, like, are those things and I feel very good about doing those things.
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SPEAKER_01
And I know that when I die, I ll be able to go, OK, we did we live life to the fullest.
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SPEAKER_01
But I don t know if this stuff that we re looking for is outside of our brains or inside of our brains.
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SPEAKER_01
I m leaning towards, and this will probably evolve as I get older and have more experience in tackling these issues, but I m leaning towards a little bit of both, a little combination of both.
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SPEAKER_01
Sometimes I ll use this whole like oh, it s all in my internal brain Sometimes I use it like as an excuse to be lazy and not do shit.
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SPEAKER_01
You know I m talking about
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SPEAKER_01
Absolutely.
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SPEAKER_01
So it s a little bit, it s a little bit of both.
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SPEAKER_01
It s a little bit of both.
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SPEAKER_01
But anyway, that s, that wasn t advice or anything.
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SPEAKER_01
It s just thoughts.
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SPEAKER_01
That wasn t advice or even anything that anyone could be like, Hey, you remember when you said that?
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SPEAKER_01
I d be like, Oh, fuck.
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SPEAKER_01
Did I really say that?
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SPEAKER_01
I m just pontificating.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Don t quote me on that one.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
Don t quote me on anything I ve ever said.
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SPEAKER_00
Well, I mean, that s where I m kind of at is the crossroads of like, I have my positive accomplishments and my accolades and everything else that I m doing, which is great.
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SPEAKER_00
I mean, you know, I should be very grateful for that.
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SPEAKER_00
My life s been working out significantly better than it did when I was doing that shit.
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SPEAKER_01
I m going to say, I m going to say this to you.
2
SPEAKER_01
This is my final piece on this phone call.
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SPEAKER_01
Um, what s your name again?
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SPEAKER_00
Uh, Andrew.
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SPEAKER_01
Andrew, just beneath, beneath everything, my viewpoint on this, whatever you re doing, you know, walking dogs, watching TV, play media, whatever you re doing,
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SPEAKER_01
At any given moment in your day-to-day life at this point, there s like a 99.99% chance that it s better than doing meth and beating people up.
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SPEAKER_01
So take solace in that, okay?
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SPEAKER_01
I ll take solace in it.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t know if I ll feel fulfilled by it, but I ll take some solace in it.
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SPEAKER_01
Is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?
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SPEAKER_01
Uh, fuck bitches.
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SPEAKER_01
Make money.
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SPEAKER_01
Take care.
2
SPEAKER_01
Thanks, Andrew.
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SPEAKER_01
All right, Gak.
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SPEAKER_01
Why, hello.
2
SPEAKER_01
Hello there.
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SPEAKER_01
What is your name?
2
SPEAKER_01
Hi, I m Mr. Sweetness.
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SPEAKER_01
Mr. Sweetness?
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SPEAKER_00
I like to be known as... Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
Where d you get the name Mr. Sweetness?
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SPEAKER_00
Mr. Sweetness is actually my performer name when I get there.
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SPEAKER_00
Yes.
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SPEAKER_01
Hold on.
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SPEAKER_01
Mr. Sweetness is your performer name when you get there.
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SPEAKER_01
OK.
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SPEAKER_01
Well, what do you perform?
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SPEAKER_00
I m a complete singer.
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SPEAKER_00
I ve been singing for 12 years.
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SPEAKER_01
OK.
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SPEAKER_01
What do you mean by get there?
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SPEAKER_01
Sounds like you ve been there for 12 years.
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SPEAKER_00
Well, I ve been in a special situation.
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SPEAKER_00
I ve been singing for 12 years.
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SPEAKER_00
I ve been in a choir.
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SPEAKER_00
My whole life has been like choir.
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SPEAKER_00
for the majority of it.
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SPEAKER_00
That s pretty much how I dictated all my choices throughout educational purposes.
2
SPEAKER_00
But I ve been singing in the choir for 12 years, and I just recently dropped out of the choir program.
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SPEAKER_00
This is my first time doing my own thing, and I m stuck.
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SPEAKER_00
I m like, I have all this ambition.
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SPEAKER_00
I want to do all these things, but I feel like I m stuck until I really make a decision on how I want to go about how I want to get there.
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SPEAKER_00
because I think that s important.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
What are you trying, what kind of decision are you trying to make?
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SPEAKER_00
So as an artist, and I plan on having like, you know, a whole internet persona, image, all that jazz.
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SPEAKER_00
So I don t, I m not worried about that.
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SPEAKER_00
But I have to decide on how I want to get there.
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SPEAKER_00
Because, and this is why I feel like, as I look back and how I ve been deciding on how to get where I am, I feel like I ve been kind of
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SPEAKER_00
Like the villain in this circumstance, I feel like if I really want to get to where I want to be, I have to have a kind of villainistic mindset on how to get there.
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SPEAKER_00
Almost like selfish to that point.
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SPEAKER_01
So yeah, so you texted me.
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SPEAKER_01
You said, I think I am becoming a villain.
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SPEAKER_01
That s what you said to me.
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SPEAKER_01
So what do you mean by that?
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SPEAKER_00
So I know that I, uh,
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SPEAKER_00
I can be pretty stern, stubborn when it gets there.
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SPEAKER_00
I have no problem about that stuff.
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SPEAKER_00
I let people know, hey, I could be me.
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SPEAKER_00
I m trying to get stuff done.
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SPEAKER_00
Currently, I m a manager at my job, and I know I like to be in positions of power where I know I can control what s going to happen.
2
SPEAKER_00
I ve been a manager there for three years now, and I did that, and I got that position quick.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was like, yo, I know what needs to get done.
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SPEAKER_00
Let me go ahead and work up the ranks real quick, and so I can help you all out, help this situation.
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SPEAKER_00
And it went fast, I got promoted, got my position.
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SPEAKER_00
I ve been pretty much borderline running that place besides my general manager.
2
SPEAKER_01
So look man, we re getting a little off track here.
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SPEAKER_01
What do you mean by you re becoming a villain?
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SPEAKER_01
What does that mean?
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SPEAKER_00
I feel like I m going to have to make some really hard decisions when it comes to the people I associate with, the things and directions I m going.
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SPEAKER_01
Okay.
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SPEAKER_00
I m gonna have to start cutting people off and start introducing myself to new things, but at the same time, I don t know if that s the right thing to do.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so if we re, let me back up for a second.
2
SPEAKER_01
You desire to, you have a lot of stuff you want to do.
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SPEAKER_01
You want to be a professional singer, you want to make videos, that s all great.
2
SPEAKER_01
Why, I m extremely lost
2
SPEAKER_01
as to why you have decided that you need to become a villain to do this?
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t think artists are good people.
2
SPEAKER_00
Why?
2
SPEAKER_00
A majority of artists, well, I mean, you can just see it.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t think a majority of artists, of how they get to where they are, how big they are, I m talking like bigger names, I don t think they re good people.
2
SPEAKER_00
I think they ve cut a lot of corners and I think they ve done a lot of things that they re personally not like, you know, they re not going to tell every other person, but
2
SPEAKER_00
I mean, you know, they get there how they get there, not saying I m going to hold on.
2
SPEAKER_01
I got it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Mr. Sweet.
2
SPEAKER_01
Mr. Sweetness, I got to stop.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re right, Mr. Sweetness.
2
SPEAKER_01
You so you ve decided in your brain that in order for you to become a successful singer, you need to be an asshole.
2
SPEAKER_00
Not exactly an asshole, but I have to be selfish.
2
SPEAKER_00
I have to really.
2
SPEAKER_00
put myself and my goals and stuff before anything like almost like even above my family type situation.
2
SPEAKER_00
It has to be number one priority is what I feel like it has to be.
2
SPEAKER_01
Mr. Sweetness, Mr. Sweetness, can I ask you something?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
Have you made a single video?
2
SPEAKER_00
I make funny videos, but I haven t made a single song.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay, Mr. Sweetness, before even releasing a single song, before even trying to do anything, before even presenting yourself on the internet as, you know, I m a singer and this, before even attempting to reach this goal that you have, you have decided that you need to be an asshole to do it?
2
SPEAKER_00
In a broad sense, I guess I have to just really... I can be nice.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t have a problem with talking to people.
2
SPEAKER_00
I love people.
2
SPEAKER_00
I love people.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m just telling you, man, you ve made this declaration for no reason.
2
SPEAKER_01
This is not where your brain should be.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know what I mean?
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, dude, just, you know, go make stuff, go put yourself out on the internet, and you can- I- I wanna- I- I wanna tell you, you can present yourself however you desire, and if how you desire to be in this- not even present, forget about that.
2
SPEAKER_01
If just how you desire to be,
2
SPEAKER_01
is Mr. Sweetness, sweet guy, nice guy, family man, all that stuff, then go fucking be it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Why have you decided that you can t be that?
2
SPEAKER_01
You ve decided that you can t be that literally for no reason.
2
SPEAKER_01
Actually, no, I m not gonna say you ve decided to be that for no reason because I think the reason you ve decided to be that Is because I don t know man.
2
SPEAKER_01
You ll you ll think about like whatever Kanye West or Fucking I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_01
I just I don t have good examples, but you ve just decided that the trope of like somebody who s successful is an asshole and you ve probably decided that based on examples that you have and and those examples are are wrong and
2
SPEAKER_01
and that decision is wrong, and I really strongly encourage you to stop thinking like that.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because it s not helpful to anybody.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s fair.
2
SPEAKER_00
The mindset really stems from, like, I don t know if you ve ever watched, like, well, yeah, of course, cartoons, a story, like,
2
SPEAKER_00
Stories where the villain is generally and this is just like storytelling in general and just cartoons and shows on Washington stuff the villain is dressed up as He s already won.
2
SPEAKER_00
He s getting he s the one winning.
2
SPEAKER_00
He shows it it shows and it detects the story that mr. Sweetness I m sorry, but what do what do you talk like?
2
SPEAKER_00
Dude, well, it s a comparison.
2
SPEAKER_01
Sorry Don t don t don t be don t be don t be sorry.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m just like I
2
SPEAKER_01
I m telling you this because I don t want you this is your this mindset that you have is It s like defeating.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know you call yourself mistress and by the way
3
SPEAKER_01
listen if you told me right now you were like I just I kind of want to be an asshole to a bunch of people I d be like all right that s your god-given right is you can you know okay if that s what you want to do is be an asshole and go go ahead yeah that s that s what you want to do but that s not it s not even what that s what makes it extra sad it s not even what you want to do
3
SPEAKER_01
You re not even sitting here like, I bet it would be awesome to be a dick to people all the time.
3
SPEAKER_01
You called yourself Mr. Sweetness.
3
SPEAKER_01
You re sitting here like, oh I want to be Mr. Sweetness, I want to be a nice guy, but I think I have to be an asshole if I want to succeed.
3
SPEAKER_01
And that s sad, and I don t think that s based off of anything that is remotely true.
3
SPEAKER_01
strongly encourage you to stop thinking like that and just go, you know, make your music.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, that s all that fucking matters, you know?
3
SPEAKER_02
That s very true.
3
SPEAKER_02
I do 100% agree with that.
3
SPEAKER_02
And it s more of like, am I a bad person or villain in that person, in this scenario, if I have to make a decision where, hey, me and this dude, we were making, we had good chemistry, but
3
SPEAKER_02
Something happened and he s slowing down and I feel like I need to keep going.
3
SPEAKER_02
And that s where I ve been in a lot of positions where I feel like I have to cut these people off or like people or situations, I just have to cut it off and I feel like I have to keep going but at the same time I m losing friends here and there.
3
SPEAKER_02
These are like real relationships and real things that I feel like I have to do to get to that one.
3
SPEAKER_01
So a couple things.
3
SPEAKER_01
One is that that doesn t make you a villain because I mean, is this like, was this like your boyfriend or is this was like a guy that you were seeing?
3
SPEAKER_02
These are people I know.
3
SPEAKER_02
I have these connections from singing from all the years and people I ve been trying to work with and all that jazz and some relationships like past love stuff like that.
3
SPEAKER_02
But just in general, I can make these decisions.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I don t feel bad about making these decisions.
3
SPEAKER_02
I can do it relatively quickly.
3
SPEAKER_02
I can cut people off relatively quickly.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t feel bad about it.
3
SPEAKER_01
And look, I do think you re right in that if you want to get successful at something, obviously, you do have to have priorities.
3
SPEAKER_01
And yeah, you might need to, you know,
3
SPEAKER_01
You might decide that you want to spend your free time in your studio, whatever, making music instead of like hanging out with your homies.
3
SPEAKER_01
But that doesn t mean you have to never talk to them ever again.
3
SPEAKER_01
And also, and also that doesn t make you a villain or a bad person.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, and especially like romantically, if you re talking about like you were gonna, you were dating somebody, but they had different life priorities than you had.
3
SPEAKER_01
Uh, that s just incompatibility.
3
SPEAKER_01
That doesn t make you a villain.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that s true.
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, then I guess I m not going to be the villain.
3
SPEAKER_02
I ll be Mr. Sweetness.
3
SPEAKER_01
You re Mr. Sweetness.
3
SPEAKER_02
Sweetest guy around, yes indeed.
3
SPEAKER_01
All right, hit us with, all right, give us a fucking lick, bro.
3
SPEAKER_01
Come on.
3
SPEAKER_01
What s up?
3
SPEAKER_01
Give us some- You want a lick?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, drop us a tune.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh, let s see.
3
SPEAKER_02
What can I drop?
3
SPEAKER_02
What can I sing for y all?
3
SPEAKER_01
Mr. Fucking Sweetness.
3
SPEAKER_01
Sing us a tune.
3
SPEAKER_02
Sing y all a tune.
3
SPEAKER_02
Y all listen to that hell of a box
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, hell of a boss episode.
3
SPEAKER_02
The loser baby.
3
SPEAKER_02
You re a loser, baby.
3
SPEAKER_02
A loser, gosh damn baby.
3
SPEAKER_02
You re a fucked up little whiny bitch.
3
SPEAKER_02
You re a loser just like me.
3
SPEAKER_02
You re a screw loose screwer.
3
SPEAKER_02
A only one star reviewer.
3
SPEAKER_02
You re a power bottom at rock bottom.
3
SPEAKER_02
And you got company.
3
SPEAKER_02
I love that song.
3
SPEAKER_01
Who s hell of a boss?
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
What is that?
3
SPEAKER_02
Helluva Boss is a YouTube, this is a really, really cool thing.
3
SPEAKER_02
And it s like a cartoon.
3
SPEAKER_02
You should go into it, because it s awesome.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s a YouTube-originated cartoon.
3
SPEAKER_02
So it was a pod, it was like a pilot.
3
SPEAKER_02
It was just running through.
3
SPEAKER_02
It beat all the odds.
3
SPEAKER_02
And now it s on Amazon Prime.
3
SPEAKER_02
And it s called Hotel.
3
SPEAKER_02
Not Helluva Boss.
3
SPEAKER_02
The song I referenced is from Hans and Hotel.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I ve heard of that.
3
SPEAKER_00
I want to watch it.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ve heard of it.
3
SPEAKER_02
Definitely recommend it.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s like, it beat all the odds.
3
SPEAKER_02
It shouldn t, it shouldn t even be a show because people were like, I don t know how it s going to get off of YouTube.
3
SPEAKER_02
Someone bought it and, um, Dizzy Pop is her name, I believe.
3
SPEAKER_02
She s amazing, and she s been running with it, and I love it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, Mr. Sweetness, good luck, man.
3
SPEAKER_01
Don t, I would hate, I m glad we had this conversation, because I really do, I mean this, I feel like you have created this mindset for yourself that is only damaging.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s not gonna help you, so I hope you reflect on it.
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, thank you for picking up.
3
SPEAKER_02
I really do appreciate it.
3
SPEAKER_02
This is like I ve been lit man I ve been into the podcast for like ever my workout be blowing through those workouts listening to these conversations.
3
SPEAKER_02
They re so awesome Sweetness.
3
SPEAKER_01
All right, man.
3
SPEAKER_01
You have you have a good one.
3
SPEAKER_01
Good luck and I m excited to see you on on Small platforms if you want to see when I drop stuff for anyone out there
3
SPEAKER_01
What is it?
3
SPEAKER_02
You already know the name.
3
SPEAKER_02
Mr. Sweetness, you know the name.
3
SPEAKER_01
You got, you got, hold on.
3
SPEAKER_01
You got Mr. Sweetness?
3
SPEAKER_01
It s not like Mr. Sweetness 69555?
3
SPEAKER_02
I think TikTok is three S s because TikTok, but Instagram, Mr. Sweetness, YouTube, Mr. Sweetness.
3
SPEAKER_02
I got on that quick.
3
SPEAKER_02
I love his name.
3
SPEAKER_01
All right.
3
SPEAKER_01
I ll check you out.
3
SPEAKER_01
I ll check you out.
3
SPEAKER_01
Thanks for calling Mr. Sweetness.
3
SPEAKER_02
Awesome.
3
SPEAKER_02
Thank you for having me.
3
SPEAKER_02
Y all have a sweet day.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t- I guess that just doesn t make- what is- I m laughing because it s just funny that this guy He and you know he is he s a sweet guy and he was so worried Because he was convinced that if he wanted to like sing he had to start being an asshole and I don t think I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t think that that s true.
3
SPEAKER_01
Although it would be kind of cool if like if he occasionally
3
SPEAKER_01
was an asshole, and it was like Mr. Sweetness had a sour side.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, you know, you fuck with Mr. Sweetness, maybe Mr. Sour comes out.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
Hello?
3
SPEAKER_01
Hi.
3
SPEAKER_01
What s your name?
3
SPEAKER_03
Kayla.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, Kayla, what s up, man?
3
SPEAKER_01
How can I get you today?
3
SPEAKER_01
What s going on?
3
SPEAKER_03
Got a couple of things going on, man.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, hit me.
3
SPEAKER_03
First off,
3
SPEAKER_03
My mom s a narcissist, and she won t let me move out of the house.
3
SPEAKER_03
And it kind of sucks.
3
SPEAKER_03
But, like, I m trying to move out of the house.
3
SPEAKER_03
How old are you?
3
SPEAKER_01
I m 23.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um... You re 23, and your mom won t let you move out of the house?
3
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I mean, like, I can, you know, but, like, she just keeps gaslighting me.
3
SPEAKER_03
And then, so, I always keep staying.
3
SPEAKER_03
And I just feel like really guilt-tripped and I m not really sure what to do.
3
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
So, um, well, I mean, let me ask you this.
3
SPEAKER_01
This is, uh, I mean, let s talk financials for a second.
3
SPEAKER_01
Do you have a job?
3
SPEAKER_01
Do you have money that, that you would need to move out of the house?
3
SPEAKER_03
I do.
3
SPEAKER_03
I actually, I m engaged.
3
SPEAKER_03
So like I have a whole ass fiance and everything.
3
SPEAKER_03
And, um, yeah, I just don t really like,
3
SPEAKER_03
What the fuck?
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, I also don t really what the fuck so you re engaged.
3
SPEAKER_01
How old is he?
3
SPEAKER_03
Um, he s going to be 25.
3
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
You said that you you were you were preparing you that that noise you made just before telling me I was preparing for him to be like,
3
SPEAKER_01
47 years old and you hit me with a two year age gap.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so I guess I still don t understand what s preventing you from from leaving the house.
3
SPEAKER_01
Is it like your mom s just like, really?
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, look, by the way, your mom s not your mom is not preventing you from leaving the house.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay, she s just she s guilt tripping you.
3
SPEAKER_01
Is that what s happening?
3
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, she like gaslights me all the time.
3
SPEAKER_01
What is that?
3
SPEAKER_01
What do you what does that mean?
3
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
3
SPEAKER_03
She holds everything over my head.
3
SPEAKER_03
So like, okay, so let me, let me, let me give you an example.
3
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_03
So like the other week I asked my mom for a hundred dollars because she was out of state and I was watching her pets for her, which I, you know, I didn t have to do that, but I did.
3
SPEAKER_03
And so I was staying there and I asked her for a hundred dollars because I paid for a bunch of stuff for the pets while she was gone.
3
SPEAKER_03
And so she gave me the hundred dollars, right?
3
SPEAKER_03
She was like, yeah, sure, whatever.
3
SPEAKER_03
Here s a hundred bucks.
3
SPEAKER_03
And I was like, okay.
3
SPEAKER_03
And then after she came back, she was like, did you drive my car?
3
SPEAKER_03
And I was like, yeah, I drove it to my grandma s house.
4
SPEAKER_00
house, which was like 20 minutes away.
4
SPEAKER_00
And so she told me that I needed to pay her back for gas.
4
SPEAKER_00
She told me that I needed to pay her for the $100 and that I didn t deserve it.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then like, she just throws everything in my face.
4
SPEAKER_00
And so every once in a while to show like, be like, Oh, like, because the only thing that she pays for for me still is my car, my car payment.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
And so, because technically it s her car.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s the only thing too.
4
SPEAKER_00
I do not have my own car.
4
SPEAKER_01
All right.
4
SPEAKER_01
So like- So hold on.
4
SPEAKER_01
So she doesn t pay your car payment.
4
SPEAKER_01
She pays her own car payment and you sometimes use her car.
4
SPEAKER_01
You don t have a car.
4
SPEAKER_01
She does not pay your car payment.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, I have a car that I borrow from them, but as far as like her car specifically, like, no, I don t pay for anything for that.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so Kayla, you said your name is?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Kayla, how much money does your mom say that you owe her?
4
SPEAKER_00
Like $600, $700 a month.
4
SPEAKER_01
Not a month.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m talking about what s a lump sum of money that you could pay to your mother to be like, okay, this is everything that you say I owe you as an adult for driving your car, for the pets, for whatever.
4
SPEAKER_01
We re done.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m getting out of here.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m getting my own place.
4
SPEAKER_01
I have my own job.
4
SPEAKER_01
I have a fiance.
4
SPEAKER_01
We re getting a thing.
4
SPEAKER_01
What s that amount of money?
4
SPEAKER_00
That s a good question, because that s what I ll try and do.
4
SPEAKER_00
I ll be like, okay, there s everything on the table.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
All right.
4
SPEAKER_01
So you put everything on the table and then what happens?
4
SPEAKER_00
And then something else comes up.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like, oh no, this just happened.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like, you still have to owe that.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like what?
4
SPEAKER_00
But then here s the thing too, like with a car payment or something.
4
SPEAKER_00
She ll be like, okay, you owe me $600 for this car payment.
4
SPEAKER_00
But then when I go to pay it, she s like, actually, no, it s fine.
4
SPEAKER_00
You don t need to pay it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Wait, wait.
4
SPEAKER_01
Why do you owe her for a car payment if it s not whose whose name is the car in hers?
4
SPEAKER_00
That s what I thought.
4
SPEAKER_01
Then you don t own a car payment.
4
SPEAKER_01
Then you don t owe a car payment.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I guess that s valid.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Kayla, listen, at a certain point... I don t know, she s my mom, and I... I know, I know, I know.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s true, yeah, and so I just like...
4
SPEAKER_00
and I just need to, I just need to freaking do it.
4
SPEAKER_00
You just need to freaking do it.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s been really hard for me to freaking do it.
4
SPEAKER_00
You just gotta freaking do it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I go to real therapy, not that you re not real therapy.
4
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no, I am absolutely not real therapy.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, you are to me.
4
SPEAKER_01
And a lot of other people.
4
SPEAKER_01
I do not desire to be real therapy to any people.
4
SPEAKER_01
I am not a real therapist.
4
SPEAKER_01
I am an insane man in a gecko costume.
4
SPEAKER_01
What does your real therapist tell you?
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, pretty much the same thing.
4
SPEAKER_00
That I don t owe anything.
4
SPEAKER_00
Mainly, a lot of it though, is just the way that I grew up.
4
SPEAKER_00
Because my parents kept me very...
4
SPEAKER_00
secluded from other things.
4
SPEAKER_00
So all I know is what I know that my parents have given me and thrown at me.
4
SPEAKER_00
So like my entire life, I ve literally grown up with the fact that like, nothing that I have, like my room, my bed, all my stuff, like none of it is actually mine.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s theirs.
4
SPEAKER_00
And so that s what I always thought like, Oh, I just let me just move out at 18.
4
SPEAKER_00
But like,
4
SPEAKER_00
I ve always been scared that like okay if I leave and they hate me for it like I m not gonna have anything because all of my stuff or their stuff isn t actually mine so that s why I ve been like you know getting different jobs and trying to build up money so then like all my stuff that I do purchase on my own I can actually take with me yes I wanted by the way I just want to say something I want to say that s
4
SPEAKER_01
It s it s a bummer to me because I I think like if you re a good parent you re not like drawing these crazy fucking lines and like being selfish and you know like You know saying you owe me this you owe me that like your kids your kid.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know I mean so so
4
SPEAKER_01
I m sorry to hear that you ve had this experience where your mom is holding all of these things over your head.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think that that s not cool.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t think that that s a good way to parent.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I m sorry that you re having that experience.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I now do think that now that you are an adult, now that you did get married, now that you have a job, it s kind of time to be like, okay, I can t control that my mom is holding all of this shit over to me.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I can, with my own adult money, get out of the house and tell my mom, you know, I m not giving you any more money.
4
SPEAKER_01
You re not giving me any more money.
4
SPEAKER_01
We are both going to... Our relationship now is going to be of two people who desire to have each other in each other s lives, not two people who are constantly, you know, dealing with each other financially.
4
SPEAKER_01
You re no longer dealing with each other financially.
4
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, so I guess I don t know what s what s preventing you from from doing that, but that s, you know, what you got to do.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s that s very valid.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it s just it s been a time, you know, and it sounds so silly, you know, because I m literally like 23 and
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, a lot of people are still living with their parents, but like, you know, you always hear the thing where it s like you either move out and you suffer or you stay with your parents and you suffer mentally.
4
SPEAKER_00
And that s 100% true.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t think by the way, I don t think there s any shame in like living with it.
4
SPEAKER_01
I lived with my, I lived with my parents while I was, you know, starting doing this podcast, you know, and that s, that s a great privilege to have, but like, you know, if it s causing you deep anguish and you have a job and you re making money, you know, go, go out and do it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, but I m going to tell you something, Kayla, we could go in complete and utter circles with this and I m going to stop us from doing that and say that you should just do what you re feeling in your gut to do.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s valid.
4
SPEAKER_01
Is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?
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SPEAKER_00
Um, I went to your indie show when you came there and it was fucking amazing.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, Indianapolis?
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you had a good time?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I know it was like a year ago, but
4
SPEAKER_00
Still, it was pretty amazing.
4
SPEAKER_01
Nah, it was good.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I honestly was like, what the fuck does Indianapolis have to offer?
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SPEAKER_00
You know, quite a lot, quite a lot.
4
SPEAKER_00
So it s pretty fun.
4
SPEAKER_01
Good luck, Kayla.
4
SPEAKER_01
And thanks for thanks.
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SPEAKER_01
Good luck with living in Indianapolis and being a human being on the earth.
4
SPEAKER_01
I ll talk to you later.
4
SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
4
SPEAKER_00
Thanks.
4
SPEAKER_00
Thanks, Lyle.
4
SPEAKER_00
Bye.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, it s hard, man, because I really I ve been talking a lot about like what I ve
4
SPEAKER_01
Learned from doing this show and one thing I ve learned like just reflecting on My own life is like I ve got really great Parents, I really do cuz you know my mom Didn t you know?
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SPEAKER_01
Hold anything over me like that and so I m you know I empathize with people who?
4
SPEAKER_01
You know have had these kind of situations like recently
4
SPEAKER_01
I think I had this thing where I didn t like that my mom was babying me throughout my life.
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SPEAKER_01
Even after I graduated from high school and college, she was still calling me all the time to ask me where I was and what I m doing and checking in on me.
4
SPEAKER_01
Something clicked because I was always like that was always bothering me like, you know, hey, I m an adult.
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SPEAKER_01
I m you know Running all around doing all these things like I m gonna be fine And then it fucking clicked to me.
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SPEAKER_01
I m like bro like You know, it s a it s a privilege to have your mom Calling you and checking in on you, you know, like that s a good thing, you know, so I
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I told last time she called me.
4
SPEAKER_01
I told her I was like, you know, she said to me she was like, I know that you re 26 and traveling the world, but in my brain, you re still four years old.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I told her I was like, you know, I m sorry if I don t always answer your phone calls, but I m grateful that you make them.
4
SPEAKER_01
Because especially when you when you get older, you become an adult.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s like nobody s nobody s watching out for you anymore.
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SPEAKER_00
Nobody s making my dent I made made a dentist appointment today.
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SPEAKER_00
Nobody s making my dentist appointments for me.
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SPEAKER_00
Nobody s making sure That I live my life correctly, you know, I m 26 So it s good to have that little thing of just your mom calling you, you know Yeah, anyway, I m a gecko
5
SPEAKER_01
Hello folks, it s Lyle here.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s the end of this episode, but get this, I m releasing a bonus episode this week.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s right, an entire extra hour of the podcast that you can listen to by becoming a premium member of Therapy Gecko over at therapygecko.supercast.com.
5
SPEAKER_01
Supercast subscribers get access to bonus episodes, they get a completely ad-free podcast feed of the regular show, they get recordings from my live shows, members-only streams, and they help support my ability to continue doing this podcast.
5
SPEAKER_01
So here s a clip from this week s members-only bonus episode.
5
SPEAKER_02
So I want to talk about how I met my husband, which is
5
SPEAKER_02
Kind of a freaky story, but I don t recommend people normally do stuff like this.
5
SPEAKER_02
I basically met him playing League of Legends.
5
SPEAKER_02
We ve been like gaming buddies for a really long time.
5
SPEAKER_02
At first, I tried to be like a homie and help him out and be like, yeah, girls are easy to talk to.
5
SPEAKER_02
Just, you know, like go out, like you gotta do this, that.
5
SPEAKER_02
actually trying to get him laid, you know, like a good friend.
5
SPEAKER_02
Um, so then I offered, I was like, Hey, I ll take your virginity, like as a joke.
5
SPEAKER_02
But then he was like, okay, you said, I ll take your virginity as a joke.
5
SPEAKER_02
Like you said, well, it was half joking, but half like, but like, if you want to kind of thing, you know,
5
SPEAKER_01
If you wanna hear this full conversation, you can sign up to become a premium member at therapygecko.supercast.com or find the link in the episode description.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s therapygecko.supercast.com.
5
SPEAKER_01
All right, I have nothing else to say.
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SPEAKER_03
♪ Therapy Gecko s on the line ♪ ♪ Taking your phone calls every night ♪ ♪ Therapy Gecko s doing it right ♪ ♪ He s teaching you how to live your life ♪ ♪ But he s not really an expert ♪