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The following podcast is a dear media production.
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She s a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire.
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Fantastic.
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And he s a serial entrepreneur, a very smart cookie.
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And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride.
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Get ready for some major realness.
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Welcome to the skinny confidential him and her.
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Let me tell you something about marriage.
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Your partner s not supposed to be your everything.
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If I need someone to give me what I need, I go to that person.
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Bert gives me tons of what I need in tons of different areas.
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But if we re in a disagreement and I can feel like this is gonna have to happen later, I ll call my girlfriend Sandy and go, let me tell you what this asshole just did.
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And then she will give me everything I need.
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And then two days later, I can have the real conversation with Bert saying, hey, you know, in that moment,
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This is what I needed, and he can hear me.
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So everybody kind of knows who they are for me, and I knew who those people are for me, so I can reach out to the right people.
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Hello, everybody.
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Welcome back to The Him and Her Show.
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Coming in hot off Monday s episode with Bert Kreischer, we have Leanne Kreischer on the show.
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And dare I say, did she one up Bert?
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Bert, she might have.
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Let s see.
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For those of you that are not familiar with Leanne, Leanne Kreischer is an American actress, writer, podcaster, and the wife of standup comedian, reality television host, and actor Bert Kreischer.
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We have a conversation today about her small town upbringing, what it s like to grow up with a narcissistic mother, and the tough decisions she had to make for the good of her family.
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There s a lot of depth here, Leanna, and so much to share around relationships and what makes it work, how to get through trauma, how to deal with difficult family members.
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We dove into so many topics that were kind of off script.
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We just ended up in a really organic
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and pleasant conversation, one that we knew was going to be great but honestly was even greater than we could have expected.
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And I love podcasts and so does Lauren where we have a huge brief and then the conversation just becomes so organic that we kind of don t even need the brief and that s what this conversation was.
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Leanne is an incredible person.
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She has a ton of insight to offer for anyone trying to live a better life and be happier, more positive, more productive, especially for the couples out there.
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So with that, Leanne Kreischer, welcome to the Skinny Confidential Him and Her Show.
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This is the Skinny Confidential Him and Her.
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We were saying off air that to your point, there s two types of people, people that want to be in a sort of stable, consistent situation, but people who are more attracted to like really big, colorful people.
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And it seems like both of you are attracted to colorful people.
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Yes.
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Yeah, I can see that.
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And I think at the same time, both of us are colorful in our own way.
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Right.
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Like, I don t know.
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I think a regular guy would not know what to do with me.
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What do you mean?
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Explain.
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Like I d be the crazy part of me is so pale in comparison to the crazy part of Burt.
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But the crazy part of me in a non-crazy situation doesn t help somebody.
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You know, does that make sense?
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Like if I go let s buy another house, you know, somebody that s more regulated with money with me would be like, hold on, hold on.
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And Burt s like, well, let s buy six houses, you know, where it kind of is the balance.
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That may not be the best example, but... No, it s a good example.
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Lauren and I talk about this all the time.
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I always, she says like, who the hell would you date?
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Like, I mean, I m a big personality in my own way compared to her, maybe not so much, but also I m not just turnkey, easy, consistent.
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Like there s, you know, there s a lot, there s some squirrely ideas going on up here.
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Totally.
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Like the Matterhorn as a mountain looks different against the Appalachia than it does the Rockies, but they re all mountains, right?
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They re all a little different.
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I would describe so far as you both as you re specific.
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There s a specific way to be with both of you.
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It seems like you need a certain touch.
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I know what I want.
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I feel like you know what you want.
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All the time.
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Yeah.
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And I m very direct.
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I m very linear, very literal.
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I don t play games.
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I don t have hidden agendas.
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I don t read into anything.
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I don t take anything personally.
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Burt says I m dead inside.
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But you don t have to guess where you stand.
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I don t have to guess where I stand.
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I don t like that.
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I get it.
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That s how I, I always tell people, I said, listen, if I tell you something, that s actually specifically what I mean.
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That s weird.
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I m just kidding.
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I m just kidding.
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Because with her, she s like, there s like maybe a hidden meaning.
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I m like, no, if I say this is what I mean, it is 100% actually what I mean.
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There s no hidden agenda.
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There s no need for interpretation.
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It is directly that thing that I m saying.
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I think you could use a little more finesse.
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I get that note often.
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Subtlety, finesse.
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Yeah, just a little massaging.
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How about your directness makes me feel unsafe?
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Or your deliveries off is one that I like.
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I have like little points that I say, I m not entertaining.
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This delivery is my favorite.
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That s a great.
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Yeah.
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The delivery is completely off.
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Try again.
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Yes.
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Bert could take a note because he goes, I don t think you know how you sound.
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That doesn t sound good.
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And I m like, I just said that doesn t look good on you.
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Why is that bad?
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Do you want me to?
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How do you want me to say that?
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I m not sure.
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Oh, you guys have a lot of.
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Is it hard being married to a comedian?
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Because I like Lauren is funny, but.
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I think I m a comedian.
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You are very charismatic and very funny.
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She s very charismatic.
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Leanne s actually meaning that.
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She means what she says.
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She s not just saying that because we re here on air.
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She actually means that.
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But I agree with her.
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But in the sense that I would hope so.
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I feel with a comedian, they re like one of their jobs is to constantly like pick out.
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Things in life that are obvious that people want to call out, but they won t say, but then they can deliver it in a way
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where it s like, should I be offended?
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But I also can t because it s funny.
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Does that make sense?
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And I would imagine that that is challenging being on the other end of that consistently at times.
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OK, I have been asked this question a lot.
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Almost nothing he says bothers me.
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If it s funny, it can t be mean, right?
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He can t say something mean about me publicly, right?
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He can say it to me, but not publicly because it s a misrepresentation of who I am.
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I m not a mean person.
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I m not a bitch.
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I m not difficult.
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I m not.
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And so my only requirement through our whole relationship is that if he s going to say it, it be
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it be funny.
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It has to be funny.
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And a lot of people don t know this, but I wrote comedies.
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I wrote rom-com script screenplays before I met him.
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I was a writer for a long time before I met Bert.
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So I understand writing comedy from having been a writer.
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So I get it.
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Like in the very beginning, one of his first specials, he talked about sex with me a lot.
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Like
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And people were like, how do you let him say that?
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And I m like, do you not have sex?
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Do you not have mishaps in sex?
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Do you not have, like, stupid things like farting while you re— Does that not happen to you?
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Because it happened to me, and if we all laugh about it, then maybe we can not take it so serious.
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Leigh-Anne, you re going to die.
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He s never farted in front of me.
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I ve known him since he was 12.
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Really?
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Ever.
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No one can believe that.
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That s control.
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How do you control it?
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Or with each other 24-7.
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Wow.
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Have you ever farted in front of him?
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I don t think so.
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Have I?
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A lot of times, which is a huge farter.
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No, I m not a huge farter.
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I don t think so.
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No, I m just kidding.
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That s not true either.
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Well, you guys are way more elegant than me.
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Should I show myself out?
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No!
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No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
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I m just kidding.
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I m just kidding.
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No, I just think it s so interesting because I ve never heard a guy not fart.
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It s a weird thing about you.
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Yeah, I got a problem.
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I got a lot of problems.
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Listen, who knows?
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Don t we all?
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So go back to you.
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I was shamed endlessly in my childhood, and it s probably manifesting in strange ways, but we ll see.
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So you used to be a writer, so you understand.
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So when you would say sex jokes about you, it doesn t bother you.
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No, it really doesn t bother me.
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Yeah, I can see that.
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It sounds like you also, you re in on the joke and you know it s not mean-spirited and it s funny.
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It s not presented as mean-spirited.
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It s so funny.
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He was working on a bit last night at the improv and he said something negative about me and it came out wrong.
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And I d heard it before on stage many, many times where it came out right and it was really funny.
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And last night it sounded mean.
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Like, can you give us an example?
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Gosh, I don t know.
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But what was cool about it is when he got in the car, he went, that came out mean.
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He knew.
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That didn t work.
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And I went, no, it didn t work.
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You re right.
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But the way you were doing it in Omaha was great.
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So just go back to that.
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And he s like, OK, cool.
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So he s self-aware.
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He s so self-aware.
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I want to know more about you.
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Pre-birth.
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How d you grow up?
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Where d you grow up?
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Oh, Lord.
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How long is this vlog here?
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Yeah, let s talk about your childhood.
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You mentioned you were a writer before him.
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Let s talk about all that.
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Okay.
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Well, I grew up in a small town in Georgia.
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It s called Bowdoin.
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It had about 1,600 people.
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Wow.
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I was there until I was seven.
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My parents divorced when I was seven, and my mom moved to Atlanta.
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She was a model in Atlanta.
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My dad was a mechanic in rural Georgia.
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It is my belief that my mom has quite a bit of mental health problems, and so it was a dicey way to grow up.
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She also moved me into the gay community because she thought the best place for a single mom with a single daughter was with a bunch of gay men.
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So I didn t grow up with a lot of kids, but I grew up with a lot of fabulousness.
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That was interesting.
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It was lonely, though, because there s no kids.
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It was like, hey, there s no going out in the street and playing with anybody.
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There was no one to play with.
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So I lived with her until I was 13, and then I moved back with my dad and graduated from high school in my really teeny, tiny, small town, and then went to college and then moved to Atlanta for college and hated it, and then moved to New York and then started writing.
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That s kind of the abbreviated version.
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When you say your mother suffered mental illness, what are we talking about?
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I believe that she has a personality disorder.
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I say I believe because she s never been diagnosed, and I don t think it s fair for me to just say, you know, that.
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But I ve been in therapy for a long time, and my belief in my therapy is that she has some real serious personality disorder and maybe some sociopathic stuff.
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And how would that manifest as your child?
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Would she literally split into another person?
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No, that s like split personality kind of thing.
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I believe she has narcissism as a disorder and narcissism as a disorder basically requires that you be exactly what she wants you to be or you re actually kind of life threatening.
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So you re rejected.
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So many times in my life I ve been fully disowned, like completely goodbye for years at a time because of an argument.
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She was very focused on my health.
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So she grew up Southern Baptist, but when she moved and became a model, she became Maharishi Mahishi Yogi and got very into that brain.
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So when I was really small, I had to take like 21 vitamins a day.
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I had to drink niacin.
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I had to take spirulina.
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I could only eat completely whole foods, no sugar, no processed foods at all.
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I was terribly underweight.
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She also monitored my bowel movements pretty aggressively.
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Holy shit.
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I was a super big tomboy, and she was not into that.
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Being a model, she was really all about what I looked like, and I was all about rebelling against all of that.
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I also watched her lie quite a bit.
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She s had six marriages.
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I watched a lot of deceit and knew from a really young age that something was wrong with her, that her ethics were really off, that her morals were really off.
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My dad is very, a very good person.
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I just didn t live with my dad.
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So I had this set of people who were just really good, salt of the earth, you know, kind of what you see is what you get.
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straight shooting people, and then I would go home to my mom where everything was sideways, right?
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Nothing was true.
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She would, I would say, that s a great denim shirt.
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And she d go, that s not denim, it s flannel.
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And you go, hold on, I m pretty sure that s a denim shirt.
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So my whole... So she would do things right before your eyes that you knew.
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Correct.
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It almost sounds like, I know this word is like so overused, but it s like gaslighting a little bit.
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Well, yeah, I think it s gaslighting, but from a different intent, maybe for her, it was like almost like she was protecting herself by keeping herself on top.
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So for her, I know that she came from a lot of trauma, and I know that the type of trauma she came from is usually the cause of this type of personality disorder.
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So it tracks.
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And all the studying I ve done of, hey, why was it like this?
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It all adds up for me.
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Even though she s never been diagnosed or had any help, what I ve looked into, all the dots kind of connect.
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We had an expert that came on this podcast about narcissism and I asked them if there s any cure for it.
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And he said, the only thing you can do literally is put them on stage.
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He s like, interesting.
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That s it.
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So and limit exposure, obviously.
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But like if you re at a Thanksgiving dinner with someone who s a narcissist, like
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You don t want to be quiet.
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You don t want to fight with them.
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You know, all the different ways that you could handle someone that s that s problematic.
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You should just put them on stage.
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He s like, it s literally just the easiest way to deal with it.
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Interesting.
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And whenever I deal with someone who has tendencies like that, to me, I thought that was really good advice.
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Yeah, it s great advice.
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It s really a hard one because there isn t a lot of ways to deal with it.
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You just said there s absolutely nothing you can do in an argument and nothing you can do to change.
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They can t see it themselves.
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It s impossible.
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So no matter what, they re always either going to victimize themselves or blame you.
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It s just impossible for them to even see any other reality.
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That s my experience.
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Yes, that would be accurate.
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When you went to live with your dad, was she angry at you or was she fine with it?
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She didn t see or talk to me for a year and a half.
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She also burned all my baby pictures and threw away anything that I left in her house.
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Wow.
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You know what s really hard?
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What?
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All of what you re saying is horrible, but when you become a mother and you hear that, or you look back and you reflect on your childhood when you re a mother, it hits different.
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It hits totally different when you hear that as a mother, because you re like, oh my God, can you imagine throwing away your daughter s baby pictures?
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That s horrible.
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It s horrible.
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It makes me want to cry for you.
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That s that s just it s psychopathic.
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What did you say?
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Sociopathic.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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I mean, it is.
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SPEAKER_00
Mm hmm.
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It is.
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So when so when you were in it and you were little, did you know that she was there was something wrong with her just reflecting back and doing therapy?
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No, I knew it.
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I knew it.
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I felt very unsafe in my house.
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I stopped talking as much as I could when I was in my house with her.
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I stopped interacting with her.
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I actually stopped letting her give me an affection.
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I mean, there were positive parts of her, too.
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She was really fun.
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She was very gregarious.
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She was beautiful, like 5 8 , blonde, green eyes, just gorgeous.
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She didn t have any friends, but she was very friendly in public, right?
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So I didn t trust her because she changed so much from public to private, and I never knew when I was doing something wrong, right?
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SPEAKER_01
The rules would change constantly.
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So it s not like I said, oh, I definitely can t put my glass down without a coaster.
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That was true, actually.
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But there were certain rules that I just would shift and I wouldn t know it.
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So I remember just feeling very unsafe to show her any part of who I was.
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So I just shrank.
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I just continued to shrink and shrink and shrink and shrink.
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And then all of that shrinking kind of catapulted out in high school with drinking and bad behavior and arrested and all kinds of stuff where I was kind of working out all these repressed emotions I d had.
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And my dad was just, you know, he s just a good old boy.
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He was like, I don t know.
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I mean, he didn t know it.
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SPEAKER_00
It sounds like she s like a borderline with covert narcissism.
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Like it sounds like it s like a mixture of what s a mixture.
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Do you think the reason that you re so literal, like you mentioned now, is because your mom was so wishy washy and vague?
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Yes.
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One hundred percent.
1
SPEAKER_00
That makes a lot of sense that you re like, tell it how it is because you grew up where like you didn t know one day from the next.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s right.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
I can t.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t like that.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I don t read into anything either because my whole childhood was about what?
1
SPEAKER_01
Does she mean that or doesn t she?
1
SPEAKER_01
And the exhaustion that causes for you to just overthink a simple statement like, you know, eat your apple or whatever she would say, I would just overthink all of it trying to just stay out of her crosshairs.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it was really hard, that part of it.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then the unraveling of it later is really hard also.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m in a great place now.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know, to your point, when I got pregnant with Georgia, she and I were in a little bit of an argument.
1
SPEAKER_01
She hadn t disconnected yet.
1
SPEAKER_00
Your mother and you?
1
SPEAKER_01
My mother and I. Yes.
1
SPEAKER_01
We had another big argument when I was 23, and she disconnected from me again for years.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was dead again.
2
SPEAKER_01
at 23.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then at 33, when I got pregnant with Georgia, we were having a little back and forth, a little bit of mm-mm.
2
SPEAKER_01
And when I told her I was pregnant, that was the last straw for her.
2
SPEAKER_01
And she was like, I don t ever want to see you again.
2
SPEAKER_01
Talk to you again.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know your kids.
2
SPEAKER_03
I don t know your husband.
2
SPEAKER_03
Why was she upset that you were pregnant?
2
SPEAKER_01
She was upset that I had— I think that s ultimately it.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I had been trying for a long time to get her to pick up the phone so I could tell her, and she wouldn t answer the phone.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I kept leaving messages going, I have something I need to tell you.
2
SPEAKER_01
I need to tell you something.
2
SPEAKER_01
Call me.
2
SPEAKER_01
And she just wouldn t.
2
SPEAKER_01
So she left me no choice.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I sent her an email saying, after trying to call you,
2
SPEAKER_01
for like six weeks now.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re going to get a wedding invitation.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m pregnant.
2
SPEAKER_01
How about you show up or something? 
2
SPEAKER_01
She emailed me back, and it was just the worst email.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was so bad, I printed it out and kept it so that I would never forget how she treated me.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because you normalize, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
You go, oh, maybe it wasn t as bad as I thought.
2
SPEAKER_01
Or maybe I misunderstood.
2
SPEAKER_01
Or maybe she didn t really mean that.
2
SPEAKER_01
But in writing, I printed it.
2
SPEAKER_01
And Burt s sister was with me when it came in.
2
SPEAKER_01
I printed it and gave it to her.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, just read this.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, this is my mom.
2
SPEAKER_01
And Burt s sister started crying.
2
SPEAKER_01
And she went, I can t believe this is your mom.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s horrible.
2
SPEAKER_01
So after that, I was like, you know what?
2
SPEAKER_01
I think I m done.
2
SPEAKER_01
You ve been done every year.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m done.
2
SPEAKER_01
But what did she say then?
2
SPEAKER_01
Nothing.
2
SPEAKER_00
And is she still alive right now?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yep.
2
SPEAKER_00
And you don t talk to her?
2
SPEAKER_00
Nope.
2
SPEAKER_00
There s this book by Jeanette McCurdy, and it s called I m Glad My Mom Died.
2
SPEAKER_03
That book went crazy, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
You have to read it if you haven t read it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay, I haven t.
2
SPEAKER_00
The way you re describing your mom is
2
SPEAKER_00
Like, eerily similar.
2
SPEAKER_01
Interesting.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
And her mom did end up passing away.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m glad my mom died is what it s called, so obviously her mom passed away, but it s really... It s a crazy title for a book.
2
SPEAKER_03
Isn t it?
2
SPEAKER_00
It s such a good book.
2
SPEAKER_00
If anyone is going through similar situations that you re talking about, it s such a good book.
2
SPEAKER_01
I ll definitely read it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, for sure.
2
SPEAKER_00
So you so you printed it out and you saved it.
2
SPEAKER_00
And whenever you feel.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I don t look at it.
2
SPEAKER_00
You don t look at it.
2
SPEAKER_01
No, I don t need to look at it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
You just know.
2
SPEAKER_00
I know, but I have it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, for years after that, Burt kept going, isn t there something you can do and isn t there some way you can, you know.
2
SPEAKER_01
bridge this gap or there s got to be something you can do. 
2
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, no, I ve been doing this my whole life and no.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I was still in a relationship with her parents.
2
SPEAKER_01
I brought my kids to see her parents because, you know, who has great grandparents these days?
2
SPEAKER_01
And mine had several.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I was like, well, I want you to know my mom s family just because she s wackadoo doesn t mean you don t need to know everybody else.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I guess Georgia was probably about eight and Isla was six and my mom just walked in the door and she s like, hey, it s your nanny.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I fully shut down, like completely became like seven years old, nonverbal, not talking, unresponsive, disconnected, totally disassociated myself from the entire environment.
2
SPEAKER_01
And Burt watched this happen, watched my mom act as if she saw my daughters last week.
2
SPEAKER_01
She d never seen them before, ever had never met Burt.
2
SPEAKER_03
She was like, what the fuck is going on?
2
SPEAKER_01
Everybody was like, what the fuck?
2
SPEAKER_01
And I just totally went blank.
2
SPEAKER_01
And when it was over, she said, well, maybe now I ll come out to California and see y all.
2
SPEAKER_01
And Bert went, oh, I ll never see you again.
2
SPEAKER_01
I ve never seen you before.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m never going to see you again.
2
SPEAKER_01
About a week later, she sent a letter to me, misspelled my name, and I recognized her handwriting.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I got it out of the mailbox, I gave it to Bert, and I said, I don t want to know what s in this letter, but will you read it?
2
SPEAKER_01
Because if it s nice, I ll read it.
2
SPEAKER_01
But if it s not nice, I don t want to hear about it.
2
SPEAKER_01
So he goes in the backyard, reads the letter, and he comes back in and goes, she s not ever allowed in our family again.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I went, now you get it.
2
SPEAKER_01
This is what I ve been dealing with my whole life.
2
SPEAKER_01
Did you ever read the letter?
2
SPEAKER_01
Nope.
2
SPEAKER_01
You never read it?
2
SPEAKER_01
Don t need to know that bullshit.
2
SPEAKER_01
Nope.
2
SPEAKER_01
Send it to my dad also.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, I just want you to know what I m dealing with over here.
2
SPEAKER_01
And my dad was like, yeah, I think good choice.
2
SPEAKER_01
Just don t ever let her back in your life.
2
SPEAKER_01
Good choice.
2
SPEAKER_00
So even the fact that she spells your name wrong is such a it s like it s such a it s no it feels premeditated almost.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s like a nephew.
2
SPEAKER_03
Did you ever figure out what happened to her when she was a kid?
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I know what happened to her.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know that I should say.
2
SPEAKER_03
No, no, no, no.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s not her business.
2
SPEAKER_03
You don t have to say it, but I m saying you figured out what trauma.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, she told me.
2
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
So when all of this is going on, you re already married to Burke.
2
SPEAKER_00
The third time she disowned me, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
And so when you guys get married, is he already famous?
2
SPEAKER_00
No.
2
SPEAKER_00
So you guys, this has been together.
2
SPEAKER_00
You guys have built this.
2
SPEAKER_00
Talk to us about that.
2
SPEAKER_00
How did you guys meet?
2
SPEAKER_03
I think that s the best.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, it is the best.
2
SPEAKER_00
It is the best.
2
SPEAKER_00
How did you guys meet?
2
SPEAKER_00
Going through it together.
2
SPEAKER_00
When you met him, did you both know that you guys both wanted to be famous?
2
SPEAKER_00
I didn t want to be famous.
2
SPEAKER_00
You don t want anything to do with it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, no, not that I didn t want anything to do with it.
2
SPEAKER_01
That definitely was not my goal.
2
SPEAKER_01
Did you know that he was going to be famous when you met him?
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s an interesting question.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t think fame was ever the focus.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was for me, it was the art.
2
SPEAKER_01
Right.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was the art.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was the craft of writing a really good hour.
2
SPEAKER_01
I love being a part of that.
2
SPEAKER_01
I do not write for Burt.
2
SPEAKER_01
I do not write a single word.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I am really good at telling him what works and what doesn t work.
2
SPEAKER_01
I am good at saying, hey, you ve used the word that 15 times in the last three minutes.
2
SPEAKER_01
Let s use that one time and pick a different word.
2
SPEAKER_01
And when you re on stage, you re so in a flow that it s hard to hear yourself, you know?
2
SPEAKER_01
So I ve always been the person that s in the audience going, that worked, but like, just
2
SPEAKER_01
What I just said, you ve said that word three times, just pick a different word.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, OK, not aware I m doing that.
2
SPEAKER_01
So we ve always collaborated like that.
2
SPEAKER_01
But we met bowling.
2
SPEAKER_01
We had a mutual friend who brought him bowling and we were a singles versus couples.
2
SPEAKER_01
And at the end of bowling, I said to our mutual friend, hey, give him my phone number.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was actually dating someone else for like a month.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, give him my phone number.
2
SPEAKER_01
We ll have a couple of dates and we ll be friends forever.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m not marrying a comedian.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I d love to know him better.
2
SPEAKER_01
So he did, and Bert never called me.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I called our mutual friend and went, what s going on?
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, I m a cute girl.
2
SPEAKER_01
We had a blast.
2
SPEAKER_01
Why didn t he call me?
2
SPEAKER_01
And he just goes, ask him yourself, and handed Bert the phone.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I went, dude, what s going on?
2
SPEAKER_01
Why didn t you call me?
2
SPEAKER_01
And he just stuttered and stammered and stuttered.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I went, hey, I m gonna give you a hint.
2
SPEAKER_01
If you ask me out, I ll say yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he goes, do you wanna go out?
2
SPEAKER_01
And I went, yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
So he hangs up the phone and turns to our mutual friend and goes, she just wants me for my body.
2
SPEAKER_01
So he showed up to pick me up.
2
SPEAKER_01
How was his body at this moment?
2
SPEAKER_01
His body was rocking.
2
SPEAKER_01
He was 185 pounds.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like he s 230 right now.
2
SPEAKER_01
So he looked great.
2
SPEAKER_01
But that definitely wasn t what I was after.
2
SPEAKER_01
So he shows up for the date.
2
SPEAKER_01
Pulls up in front of my apartment building and blows the horn.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I come out of my apartment and I m dressed for a date, like heels, dress, and he has a panic attack, realizing this is a real date, that I m not just like some booty call.
2
SPEAKER_01
Can t tolerate his shoes, can t really tolerate his shirt much, doesn t eat dinner, but doesn t want the dinner to end.
2
SPEAKER_01
So when dinner ends, we go somewhere else for dessert, doesn t want that to end.
2
SPEAKER_01
We go somewhere else for a nightcap, doesn t want that to end, goes to Ralph s to pick up a six pack of beer.
2
SPEAKER_01
brings me home, and I m like, dude, it s like 2.30, like, bye-bye, nice date.
2
SPEAKER_01
9.30 the next morning, what are you doing tonight?
2
SPEAKER_01
Next day, what are you doing tonight?
2
SPEAKER_01
Next day, what are you doing tonight?
2
SPEAKER_01
And I don t think I ve spent many days without him in my life, at least, obviously, he travels a lot since then, since our first date.
2
SPEAKER_01
I love stories like that.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
I say to Michael that we re co-dependent but independent at the same time.
2
SPEAKER_00
We re independent within the co-dependency.
2
SPEAKER_00
We don t like to spend time apart.
2
SPEAKER_00
I get that.
2
SPEAKER_02
Some people are like, I don t want to go on the boy s trip, she wants to go on the girl s.
2
SPEAKER_02
I get it.
2
SPEAKER_02
If we re going, I m going.
2
SPEAKER_01
You just like being together.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, yes and no.
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I m cool with him traveling.
2
SPEAKER_01
He s co-dependent.
2
SPEAKER_01
I am super independent.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I like that he, listen, I have abandonment issues for obvious reasons.
2
SPEAKER_01
He ain t going anywhere.
2
SPEAKER_01
So that part of it is what works for me.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s nice.
2
SPEAKER_01
You may go on the road, but you re coming back.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I have never
3
SPEAKER_02
doubted that for one second.
3
SPEAKER_02
So I think that s the piece for me that was really important is that I finally have somebody who s really never leaving because I couldn t get rid of him if I tried.
3
SPEAKER_02
I mean like from day one.
3
SPEAKER_00
Let me tell you what the move is for Valentine s Day.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m going to give you a hack.
3
SPEAKER_00
So you re going to give this for Valentine s Day, but you re also going to get something out of it.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is what I would do.
3
SPEAKER_00
I would get your significant other non-toxic kitchenware.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is such a good move because you can also use it for yourself.
3
SPEAKER_00
Caraway has the best non-toxic options.
3
SPEAKER_00
I bought all my cookware there.
3
SPEAKER_00
I got like the cookware set that s on their site.
3
SPEAKER_00
It has like 40,000 five-star reviews.
3
SPEAKER_00
I got the classic cream.
3
SPEAKER_00
I cook my kids eggs on it.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ll put bone broth on it, and I ll leave it out on the stove because it looks so cute.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ll even make French toast on it.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I m obsessed with it because I know it s non-toxic.
3
SPEAKER_00
But also, it s super sleek, and things slide right off of it.
3
SPEAKER_00
So you don t have to use a bunch of oil and butter, and it s really easy to clean.
3
SPEAKER_00
You should know that Caraway products are made without any toxic materials like PFSA, PTFE, or any of those other hard-to-pronounce chemicals.
3
SPEAKER_00
They also have different colors on their site.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m really into the navy too.
3
SPEAKER_00
There s like a navy one.
3
SPEAKER_00
Everything is chemical-free ceramic coating, and we have a code for you.
3
SPEAKER_00
Visit careawayhome.com slash himandher to take advantage of this limited-time offer.
3
SPEAKER_00
You get 10% off your next purchase.
3
SPEAKER_00
This deal is exclusive for our listeners, so visit careawayhome.com slash himandher or use code himandher at checkout.
3
SPEAKER_00
Careaway, non-toxic cookware made modern.
3
SPEAKER_00
Since I got pregnant with Zaza, I have been on the hunt for clean makeup.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I like clean makeup, but I want to make sure it works.
3
SPEAKER_00
And something that I ve found recently that really, really works, and I actually heard about it through Gracie Norton and Melissa Woodhealth, who have both been on this podcast, is Say s Glowy Super Gel Lightweight Dewy Multipurpose Illuminator.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s kind of like a highlighter.
3
SPEAKER_00
I like to use it in the middle of my nose, and I also like to use it in the inner corners of my eyes.
3
SPEAKER_00
I feel like it just gives you a little glow and, like, pinches the nose in.
3
SPEAKER_00
The one that I like, because there s different finishes, is the Star Glow.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s a universal champagne, and it lays so nice.
3
SPEAKER_00
It gives you that, like, wet, glassy look.
3
SPEAKER_00
I really like that.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s super, super glowy, and it s perfect.
3
SPEAKER_00
And it s clean, so it hits all the points.
3
SPEAKER_00
Asay has won multiple awards for their Glowy Super Gel, the one that I like.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I m telling you, once you use this, you ll never go back to any other highlighter.
3
SPEAKER_00
It really illuminates your skin.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s not super heavy, it s light, it s hydrating, it s brightening, it s youthful, it s refreshing.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m into it.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s not like chunky or shimmery.
3
SPEAKER_00
I think you re gonna love it so much.
3
SPEAKER_00
They also have a slip tint SPF 35, tinted moisturizer, and even a dew blush.
3
SPEAKER_00
They have a lot of good products.
3
SPEAKER_00
You can shop, say now, at Sephora.
3
SPEAKER_01
Quick break to talk about one of my favorite online platforms, and that is NerdWallet.
3
SPEAKER_01
It is so overwhelming trying to seek out the right financial advice, figuring out what to do, what to use as a consumer.
3
SPEAKER_01
When it comes to credit cards, there are so many options out there.
3
SPEAKER_01
I want the absolute best option that s going to give me the best benefits and put more back in my pocket.
3
SPEAKER_01
which is why I love NerdWallet so much.
3
SPEAKER_01
NerdWallet lets you compare top travel credit cards side by side to maximize your spending, some even offering 10x points on your spending.
3
SPEAKER_01
So what could a future you look like with better rewards?
3
SPEAKER_01
Could that look like a free flight, room upgrades, more cash back, better financial decisions?
3
SPEAKER_01
You can figure all of this out and compare and find smarter credit cards, savings accounts, and more today at NerdWallet.com.
3
SPEAKER_01
Nerd wallet, finance smarter.
3
SPEAKER_01
Reminder, credit is subject to lender approval and terms apply.
3
SPEAKER_01
I wanted to ask you something from a different perspective.
3
SPEAKER_01
So we have all sorts of people on the show and I always say and believe that the most challenging art form is stand-up comedy because we can do this.
3
SPEAKER_01
We can edit it.
3
SPEAKER_01
We can mess around.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s different.
3
SPEAKER_01
Or a writer can sit in a room and then, you know, you know, but
3
SPEAKER_01
Stand up, you re there, you re in front of people, you re alive, you re being critiqued instantly.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s so hard.
3
SPEAKER_01
And we ve asked comedians how they deal with it, but from your perspective, seeing the peaks and valleys, the ups and downs, what do those downs look like when someone s, like, really going through it and struggling?
3
SPEAKER_01
Because you ve seen him go through everything.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I imagine it hasn t always been great times at Ridgemont High here, you know?
3
SPEAKER_02
No, it hasn t.
3
SPEAKER_02
Relative to stand-up, when he s in a low, my perspective is that s where growth happens.
3
SPEAKER_02
Growth doesn t happen when you re on top.
3
SPEAKER_02
It happens when you re on the bottom because you have incentive and motivation and you have a desire to self-reflect and go, hey, what s happening here and why am I stuck or why am I flopping?
3
SPEAKER_02
Like what s not working?
3
SPEAKER_02
And Bert has an amazing ability to stay in that for a minute.
3
SPEAKER_02
But he doesn t stay in it too long.
3
SPEAKER_02
So I think you can get stuck in it, not just as a standup, but as a human.
3
SPEAKER_02
You can really get stuck at the bottom.
3
SPEAKER_02
And you have to you have to really want to get out of the bottom.
3
SPEAKER_02
And he doesn t want to stay in the bottom.
3
SPEAKER_02
But I think he understands the value of it, because that s where his growth really happens.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because I imagine that
3
SPEAKER_01
occupation specifically has a tendency to wash out a lot of very talented people that just can t hang in it?
3
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_02
I think there s a lot of factors that wash out really talented people in stand-up.
3
SPEAKER_02
One is, until you make it, you re broke.
3
SPEAKER_02
And if you can t, if you don t have a side hustle, if you don t have a partner who s supporting you in some capacity financially, I think it s really difficult in the beginning.
3
SPEAKER_02
you know to be willing to live with multiple roommates and you know those kind of things when as you age and as you kind of get older you don t want to do that but that s kind of what has to happen for a lot of people it goes from the haves and have-nots are so very vastly different in stand-up that I think just that part of the lifestyle not even the confidence in what you re doing on stage not even
3
SPEAKER_02
The art form, it s just the life you have to lead to be able to get in, be in it long enough to be in front of enough eyes long enough and to get on the right person s tour that you re opening for.
3
SPEAKER_02
That road, just the semantics of it is so difficult.
3
SPEAKER_02
When you met him, you were writing, correct?
3
SPEAKER_02
Yes, I was writing.
3
SPEAKER_02
I wrote one screenplay that was made.
3
SPEAKER_02
I had four that were optioned, and I was in a deal to develop a novel into a screenplay.
3
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Wow.
3
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And then I got pregnant.
3
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I got pregnant on the pill, which is super fancy.
3
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Then I got really morning sick, and I was morning sick for a long time.
3
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So by the time all that was over and I was massively pregnant and Georgia was born, Burt went on the road when she was three days old.
3
SPEAKER_02
So from that point on, I was like, my life I choose and would not change at all paused, like my goals paused.
3
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At that point, I was a little farther ahead than Bert was in the scope of Hollywood, but I could hold a regular job and I just don t think Bert Kreischer could do that.
3
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I don t think he could hold a regular job.
3
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So I managed apartment buildings.
3
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I managed 139-unit apartment building while I was at home with my kids.
3
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And he left.
3
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So the good thing about that time period was we were really broke together.
3
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We couldn t really afford a nanny, although I was working 9 to 5.
3
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So we only had a nanny on Thursday, Friday, which is the two days he was out of town.
3
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And Bert was the nanny, the dad, not a nanny, but he was fully on duty from 9 to 5, you know, or a little more than that.
3
SPEAKER_02
So, you know, he d put the girls in the stroller and walk a block down the street to Trader Joe s and get stuff for dinner and cook dinner and have the kids ready to eat by the time I got home from work.
3
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I paid the rent and I had benefits.
4
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And I had a little paycheck and he brought his 500 bucks a week home from stand-up and we made it work.
4
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I mean, one of our favorite stories that we sit today and what we ve built together today is one time in that apartment he came.
4
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I got home and he was like, hey, I need 50 bucks.
4
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I want to go play poker at this big tournament with all these like famous people.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was like, I don t have it.
4
SPEAKER_00
And he said, let s go to the bank and get it.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I went, dude, I don t have it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like, we don t have $50.
4
SPEAKER_00
I have $27 in the bank.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I can give you $27, but then we ve got nothing till my paycheck.
4
SPEAKER_00
And he was like, oh, well, I guess I m not going to play poker.
4
SPEAKER_00
And he had a little unraveling going, this is a networking opportunity.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m going to meet all these famous people.
4
SPEAKER_00
I really need $50.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, dude, if I could pull it out of my hair, I would.
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I don t have it.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then we sit here today and go, remember that day when we didn t have $50?
4
SPEAKER_00
He obviously didn t end up going?
4
SPEAKER_00
No, he didn t go.
4
SPEAKER_01
He couldn t go?
4
SPEAKER_01
No, he couldn t go.
4
SPEAKER_01
Wow, that s a crazy story.
4
SPEAKER_01
So you guys were broke-broke?
4
SPEAKER_01
We were broke-broke, yeah.
4
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Don t you look back on that now and think the relationship
4
SPEAKER_02
is so much stronger because of that.
4
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I always, like Lauren and I have been together a long time and you know, I think sometimes people can look at an end product or some of the places we ve ended up, but like we ve been doing stuff together for, you know, 20 years and it hasn t always looked like this.
4
SPEAKER_02
We weren t sitting in a fancy office, but when we, like when I think back,
4
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on our time together, those are the moments I appreciate the most.
4
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I think that s the bedrock of making a strong relationship.
4
SPEAKER_02
If you just jump into the end with someone, I envy people that
4
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have kind of gotten to the end and then start dating because I think it s harder to kind of build the bond that you build when you re going through struggle.
4
SPEAKER_00
It does make sense.
4
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I think it s a different kind of bond.
4
SPEAKER_00
So you see people who meet each other when they re already successful and they re happy.
4
SPEAKER_00
But to me, it looks like
4
SPEAKER_00
It looks like it s not a layer cake, you know, it s kind of like a cheesecake, which is delicious and amazing.
4
SPEAKER_00
But, you know, you get in all those layers and all that kind of, you know, it s good, it s too strong, it s too thick.
4
SPEAKER_00
It just makes it so much more dynamic.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know that one is necessarily better than the other, just like two people who are the same being married, if that works for them, great.
4
SPEAKER_00
But that s definitely not my perspective.
4
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I think that we appreciate, listen, we have two words in our family that we live by, it s our creed, and that s grace and gratitude.
4
SPEAKER_00
Wake up every day with gratitude, and you should have every moment of your day should be dictated by grace.
4
SPEAKER_00
And grace is a multi-purpose word, right?
4
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It can mean spiritual things to people.
4
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It can mean poise.
4
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It can mean just being kind.
4
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So I chose those two words and I chose them on purpose.
4
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We named Isla Isla Grace because grace is a beautiful meaning.
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I don t even, I think it s a little more than a word.
4
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So we try to
4
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We have for a very long time said gratitude and grace, gratitude and grace, even when you re broke.
4
SPEAKER_00
What an opportunity to have to be able to see a talent.
4
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I saw a talent in Bert that Bert saw in himself that we both believed in and we both nurtured and crafted and strategized and built together.
4
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And then on the side, we have these two wonderful children that we did the same thing with, right?
4
SPEAKER_00
So it s been a really amazing experience.
4
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And I don t have a roadmap for that.
4
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My dad s been divorced a couple of times.
4
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My mom s been divorced six times.
4
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I don t have any kind of roadmap.
4
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I just kind of had to go, I don t want what I ve experienced.
4
SPEAKER_00
So let s figure out something new.
4
SPEAKER_02
That s a good way to look at it though.
4
SPEAKER_02
A lot of people, I think it s more common to go to what s familiar.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
I look at, from afar, the way that you guys parent your children, and it s really cool.
4
SPEAKER_01
It seems like you guys are friends with your kids.
4
SPEAKER_01
Also, it seems like you re a parent at the same time, both.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it seems like you guys are almost like a tribe.
4
SPEAKER_01
This is from a totally outside perspective.
4
SPEAKER_01
You could tell me if I m wrong.
4
SPEAKER_01
But it seems like it s a cool way to parent.
4
SPEAKER_01
Can you sort of describe your ethos on parenting?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s an enormous compliment.
4
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I think we are like a tribe.
4
SPEAKER_00
My approach to parenting, Bert s a pretty free-range guy.
4
SPEAKER_00
Boundaries are not his favorite thing.
4
SPEAKER_00
Being linear and being kind of raised the way I was raised, boundaries are all I had.
4
SPEAKER_00
My mom was like, the bumpers were so tight, I couldn t move.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I knew I didn t want that, but I understood that boundaries were important.
4
SPEAKER_00
That boundaries, when they re healthy, make you feel really safe, right?
4
SPEAKER_00
So if someone says you re a pro wrestler and you have to be inside these ropes, you can go bananas, right?
4
SPEAKER_00
I m pro wrestling, so I m probably not the right one.
4
SPEAKER_00
Boxing.
4
SPEAKER_00
Let s say boxing.
4
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You go bananas in those ropes.
4
SPEAKER_00
You step outside the ropes, there are different rules, right?
4
SPEAKER_00
So I kind of approached parenting that way.
4
SPEAKER_00
Bert and I do this thing that s really interesting.
4
SPEAKER_00
We kind of decide who s the leader, right?
4
SPEAKER_00
So we ve remodeled several houses and I m the leader.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I go, okay, here s a, here s like a, here s a picture book of things I m thinking.
4
SPEAKER_00
I need you to sign off on this and leave me alone.
4
SPEAKER_00
So because he s never home.
4
SPEAKER_02
You re the leader.
4
SPEAKER_00
I can t wait for him four days later to come home and have a discussion about the fact that Isla didn t turn in her homework.
4
SPEAKER_00
So we would figure out our value system, agree on it, and then agree that in the generalities of it, I would implement those.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then when something big or something out of the ordinary comes up, we re a team.
4
SPEAKER_00
And he s always got my back.
4
SPEAKER_00
So we always made sure the two of us were a team.
4
SPEAKER_00
It was not Burt and Isla against mom.
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, it was Burt and mom.
4
SPEAKER_00
not against each other, but you re not separating us.
4
SPEAKER_00
That was really important.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I think Bert and I s value systems line up so much that some of those boundaries were really easy.
4
SPEAKER_00
Now, the difference between the two of us is he didn t really understand bedtime or like put your dishes in the sink when you re done eating or you got to eat a healthy meal before you can have the ice cream sandwich.
4
SPEAKER_00
He didn t really want to mess around with that kind of crap.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I think those types of boundaries dictate your whole life.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like if you don t have healthy habits in place as you grow up, it s so much more difficult to create them as an adult.
4
SPEAKER_00
So why wouldn t you do it when it s easy?
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, a broken bone on an eight-month-old heals in two weeks.
4
SPEAKER_00
At 53, it takes me a lot longer.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I kind of approached it that way, and I always thought to myself, Bert and I both have such a curiosity about life in general, that when we had kids, we asked the question regularly, who are you?
4
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Not, you are this, right?
4
SPEAKER_00
Who are you?
4
SPEAKER_00
Who are you?
4
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And show me who you are and where your interests are and where your emotions are and where your mental health is.
4
SPEAKER_00
And we ll figure out, because we re the adults here, where you need some help, right?
4
SPEAKER_00
Because no one s perfect.
4
SPEAKER_00
Everyone has something they have to work on.
4
SPEAKER_00
And we try to present that as humans ourselves.
4
SPEAKER_00
We re not perfect parents.
4
SPEAKER_00
And anytime we made a mistake parenting, we made sure to own up to it.
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, I may have overreacted here.
4
SPEAKER_00
and I have to apologize for my overreacting.
4
SPEAKER_00
However, the base is still accurate.
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, to let them know that I can make a mistake and still be right about the situation.
4
SPEAKER_02
As a family, how have you guys now dealt with the success and the attention?
4
SPEAKER_02
Because it s... I think that... I talk to so many people on the show about that dynamic.
4
SPEAKER_02
And it s such a strange thing to go...
4
SPEAKER_02
from little attention to a whole lot of attention.
4
SPEAKER_02
And you see people kind of go both ways with it.
4
SPEAKER_02
Some people really do well with it and some people completely derails them.
4
SPEAKER_02
And how have you guys, not just Byrd, but you and the family dealt with that newfound attention?
4
SPEAKER_00
That s a, that s a tough one.
4
SPEAKER_00
It really has been tough.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m sure.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think we had the benefit of having many years.
5
SPEAKER_00
years of being anonymous, right?
5
SPEAKER_00
Many, many, many, many years.
5
SPEAKER_00
So the kids, you know, my therapist says you make deposits in an account, and sometimes you have to withdraw.
5
SPEAKER_00
But if your deposits outweigh your withdrawals, you re okay at the end of the day.
5
SPEAKER_00
So we felt like we made so many deposits in their early life of just being regular parents.
5
SPEAKER_00
And he, you know, he may as well have been a banker as far as they were concerned.
5
SPEAKER_00
They had no idea.
5
SPEAKER_00
They never even saw him do stand up till last summer.
5
SPEAKER_00
So we haven t.
5
SPEAKER_00
They re not in that world.
5
SPEAKER_00
And how old are they?
5
SPEAKER_00
17 to 19.
5
SPEAKER_00
They just saw him do stand up.
5
SPEAKER_00
They ve never even seen a special.
5
SPEAKER_00
They ve never seen anything.
5
SPEAKER_00
They would go to the special taping.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then as soon as the comedy started, they d leave.
5
SPEAKER_00
They didn t want to see it.
5
SPEAKER_00
They didn t want to know him as a comic.
5
SPEAKER_00
They just wanted him to be dad.
5
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
5
SPEAKER_00
And, you know, at a certain age, we wouldn t let them see his comedy.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s clearly not age appropriate.
5
SPEAKER_00
But at a certain age, we gave them the option and they chose not to.
5
SPEAKER_00
So we honored that, you know, it was a little hard for Mr. Burt because he was like,
5
SPEAKER_00
What?
5
SPEAKER_00
Don t they know who I am?
5
SPEAKER_00
Don t they know how important I am in comedy?
5
SPEAKER_02
I m like to my kids, your first word is skinny, confidential.
5
SPEAKER_02
No, I m just kidding.
5
SPEAKER_00
They re rolling their faces out of three.
5
SPEAKER_00
No.
5
SPEAKER_00
So, um.
5
SPEAKER_00
They don t like the fame.
5
SPEAKER_00
They don t like it when people approach us.
5
SPEAKER_00
They don t like being interrupted.
5
SPEAKER_00
Who does?
5
SPEAKER_00
Who wants someone to just come up to your dinner table and go, hey man, can I get a picture as you re putting a bite of food in your mouth?
5
SPEAKER_02
Well, Joe Rogan says that on his podcast, he goes, don t come up to me when I m with my kids.
5
SPEAKER_02
Right.
5
SPEAKER_02
He just says it.
5
SPEAKER_02
Don t come up to me when I m with my kids.
5
SPEAKER_02
I almost think there should be a rule about that.
5
SPEAKER_00
I agree with you.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think it would be great if people would not come up when we re with our kids.
5
SPEAKER_00
Because the kids don t get it.
5
SPEAKER_00
They don t get it.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, my kids are old enough to get it now, but they don t like it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Because they didn t sign up for this.
5
SPEAKER_00
The flaw that we had as parents, and this is 100% our fault, and we ve owned this up to our kids.
5
SPEAKER_00
is Burt put them on Instagram before we really knew what Instagram was as a society.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, Instagram wasn t what it is today when he started posting on Instagram, and Burt wasn t famous then.
5
SPEAKER_00
So for him, he was just putting his kids on Instagram like any dad would.
5
SPEAKER_02
Like, are you talking like he has a hundred followers just posting them online?
5
SPEAKER_02
Like, what do you mean?
5
SPEAKER_00
Like early, early, early days.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_00
When he didn t have many followers.
5
SPEAKER_00
Got it.
5
SPEAKER_00
As the followers grew,
5
SPEAKER_00
He just kept posting, not thinking about, neither of us really thought that, we really never thought we would be here.
5
SPEAKER_02
How can you even strategize that without having any, like, you can t strategize.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s not, there s no blueprint.
5
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
5
SPEAKER_02
I feel bad for you guys, because it s like, as you put them on Instagram, you don t
5
SPEAKER_01
No, but that s a mindfuck to think about even for us because the kids are so young.
5
SPEAKER_01
But then you start to think about what happens when they re 13, 14, 15.
5
SPEAKER_01
So they actually care what they look like and how they re perceived and all that.
5
SPEAKER_02
So what happened?
5
SPEAKER_02
Did they come to you later on when the Instagram blows up?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
What did they say?
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t want to be on your Instagram anymore.
5
SPEAKER_00
And all their Instagrams are private and they don t want anybody to see anything about that.
5
SPEAKER_00
They re cool with me and him.
5
SPEAKER_00
Totally fine.
5
SPEAKER_00
You can have my dogs, but they don t want to be on it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, think about it.
5
SPEAKER_02
So they don t they re not showing up on it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Would you want your parents running around and posting you when you re 13?
5
SPEAKER_01
Not really, no.
5
SPEAKER_02
Very little.
5
SPEAKER_02
I can t put myself in her daughter s shoes because I want to tap dance on the table.
5
SPEAKER_02
I don t think I m the right person to ask.
5
SPEAKER_02
You wanted to tap dance on the table?
5
SPEAKER_02
I wanted to interview.
5
SPEAKER_02
I came out of the womb like.
5
SPEAKER_01
There s a saying that describes Lauren perfectly.
5
SPEAKER_01
She s the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral.
5
SPEAKER_01
Don t ask me.
5
SPEAKER_03
But she s not a narcissist, so that doesn t help.
5
SPEAKER_01
No, I don t.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m not a narcissist.
5
SPEAKER_01
But she s one of those people.
5
SPEAKER_03
I m not a narcissist, but I just like to... You re a shiny star.
5
SPEAKER_03
No, I just like to perform.
5
SPEAKER_01
Listen, this is the truth.
5
SPEAKER_01
I saw her in the sixth grade play when I was 12, and she came out in this blue, shiny sequin dress.
5
SPEAKER_01
We re singing, girls just want to have fun.
5
SPEAKER_01
Fully developed, and I was like, I am... That was it.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s my thing.
5
SPEAKER_01
That was it.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m sold.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I saw a picture of that the other day.
5
SPEAKER_02
It wasn t that I think you ve played it up to oh for sure I was 12 years old.
5
SPEAKER_02
I would and I was looking at a fully developed woman Whatever he needs whatever you you masturbate to me in that dress all you want.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, you go You do what I put that song on when I but I cannot compare myself to your girls because I don t think I m the right person to ask but I can understand how how
5
SPEAKER_02
they just maybe just don t want to be in the spotlight like that.
5
SPEAKER_03
They don t.
5
SPEAKER_03
And it s a lot of people now.
5
SPEAKER_02
And I think it s cool you guys respect that.
5
SPEAKER_02
Of course we do, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s a lot of people.
5
SPEAKER_02
Also girls, too, I can understand this.
5
SPEAKER_02
Girls don t want at that age a bad angle, a picture.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s a hard age.
5
SPEAKER_02
Oh, they don t really care about that.
5
SPEAKER_00
They don t care.
5
SPEAKER_00
They don t want anybody to know who they are.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, they want autonomy.
5
SPEAKER_00
They want complete autonomy.
5
SPEAKER_00
They don t want the spotlight.
5
SPEAKER_00
They have no interest in being in entertainment.
5
SPEAKER_00
They want to be regular people.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I think it s because they grew up as regular people.
5
SPEAKER_02
I think that the pendulum is going to swing in the next 10 years where autonomy is going to be the hottest commodity.
5
SPEAKER_00
Right.
5
SPEAKER_02
There s so many people that have been, I don t want to say whoring themselves out, but like putting themselves out there to go viral or have internet fame.
5
SPEAKER_02
And I think what s going to happen is the real thing is going to be to be autonomous.
5
SPEAKER_02
I think it s so fucking funny.
5
SPEAKER_01
Anonymous or autonomous both?
5
SPEAKER_02
Both I think it s so fucking funny how joe rogan obviously I mean you guys are very good friends with him.
5
SPEAKER_02
He s so so famous and I went and clicked his wife s profile She s like a hundred followers and in her bio.
5
SPEAKER_02
It says autonomy is underrated or something It s so funny.
5
SPEAKER_02
That is so funny Yeah, but I think like that is gonna be the hottest commodity to be able to just be Without all this but for what you guys I empathize with your daughters.
5
SPEAKER_01
I understand that no, but for what you guys do specifically I don t think there s any way around it like
5
SPEAKER_01
There s we I look about like the genie out of the bottle.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, the cats out of the bag for sure There s no going like hey guys, nevermind.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s too late Then we talked to him about that the way that we manage it with them is this is how I ve managed it So until about a year ago, I ran everything we did so Like everything we had one personal assistant and no other employees.
5
SPEAKER_00
It was just me so any email that came in from him for from fans I read
5
SPEAKER_00
And there are so many people who say, thank you for talking about your kids.
5
SPEAKER_00
I have an Isla.
5
SPEAKER_00
I have a Georgia.
5
SPEAKER_00
I have both.
5
SPEAKER_00
This is how I look at my kids differently.
5
SPEAKER_00
I didn t realize my daughter had a learning disability until you talked about Isla s learning disability.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I keep framing it that they ve helped so many people.
5
SPEAKER_00
You can t put the toothpaste back in the tube.
5
SPEAKER_00
So if we re going to deal with the toothpaste, let s find it to be positive.
5
SPEAKER_00
Sure.
5
SPEAKER_00
So this is what s paying for college.
5
SPEAKER_00
This is what s help watch your first car.
5
SPEAKER_00
And look at all these people that you re helping and you didn t even mean to do it.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I can apologize and I can say I m so sorry you re in this position all day long.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s not going to change the position at this point.
5
SPEAKER_00
The only thing we can change is our perspective.
5
SPEAKER_02
Being a parent s so fucking hard, though, because you look through what you went through as a child, and then you have kids, and you re, like, trying to do your best.
5
SPEAKER_02
You always try to do your best.
5
SPEAKER_02
You try to do your best, and you still always end up feeling guilty.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s unbelievable.
5
SPEAKER_02
My kids are so young, and I feel guilty about the stupidest shit.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, my kids are in therapy because of my parenting.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, and I go, I m the best parent, you know, lady.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I m the best one.
5
SPEAKER_00
And but I knew they re still going to go to therapy.
5
SPEAKER_02
I feel like you just have to just know as a parent there it s it s there s no black and white.
5
SPEAKER_02
There s no handbook.
5
SPEAKER_02
And it s just they re going to be mad at something.
5
SPEAKER_00
And it s all perspective.
5
SPEAKER_00
I know.
5
SPEAKER_00
There s no way.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, the snowflakes we ve raised compared to my my childhood that I go in my brain constantly.
5
SPEAKER_00
You don t know what a hard time is.
5
SPEAKER_02
Right.
5
SPEAKER_02
That s the hard part about doing is you almost like do you bite your tongue or do you say that?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_00
You bite your tongue.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_00
Because you re projecting your experiences onto your children.
5
SPEAKER_01
And there s no way they can understand it anyway.
5
SPEAKER_00
They can t understand it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Children are so self-centered until they re about 20 years old.
5
SPEAKER_00
Great.
5
SPEAKER_00
Can t wait.
5
SPEAKER_00
They don t have a perspective other than their own.
5
SPEAKER_00
They don t want one.
5
SPEAKER_00
They may get a little bit of it, but they don t want it until they want it.
5
SPEAKER_00
And you can keep giving it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Listen, they know my story.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s not like I m this person who hasn t shared my experiences growing up with them.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I don t share their experiences comparative to theirs.
5
SPEAKER_00
Right.
5
SPEAKER_00
Right.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think that s smart.
5
SPEAKER_00
Those are two different things.
5
SPEAKER_00
You should know who your mother and your father are and how they grew up because that ll give you a window into why they
6
SPEAKER_00
function the way they do.
6
SPEAKER_00
So true.
6
SPEAKER_00
That is good advice.
6
SPEAKER_00
But I don t have to say, well, I walked through eight miles of snow to get to school and you just have to get on a bus.
6
SPEAKER_00
You know, that s where you start going.
6
SPEAKER_00
That devalues their experience.
6
SPEAKER_00
So you don t want to devalue their experience.
6
SPEAKER_00
But it is good, I think, to give them a perspective, you know.
6
SPEAKER_00
that at a different time.
6
SPEAKER_00
A lot of things I ve learned about parenting and about being married is that sometimes things don t need to be said when it s happening.
6
SPEAKER_01
You could learn that lesson a little more.
6
SPEAKER_01
You could tattoo that on your asshole.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then put it in the sun.
6
SPEAKER_01
You can just not help yourself.
6
SPEAKER_01
Well, that s you know what I think to be I m to put you down for a second.
6
SPEAKER_01
I feel like that s wisdom You re gonna have to learn that she s just told you that you re gonna have to just learn that after Repetitively making the same mistake over and over with saying exactly how you feel the thing.
6
SPEAKER_02
I know when I do it that it s wrong Mmm, but I help yourself can t help myself.
6
SPEAKER_01
What did you say this morning to me?
6
SPEAKER_01
I don t remember I said, would you shut up and You said you said, you know, don t kick the beehive.
6
SPEAKER_01
I
6
SPEAKER_02
Oh, my God.
6
SPEAKER_02
No, no, no, no, no.
6
SPEAKER_02
No, you know, this other way.
6
SPEAKER_02
This is actually the other way around.
6
SPEAKER_02
I was storming around.
6
SPEAKER_01
OK, let me when he when he s frustrated.
6
SPEAKER_01
This is what it sounds like.
6
SPEAKER_02
Fucking exaggeration.
6
SPEAKER_01
No, it s not the toothpaste cap opens a little loud.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s so big Okay, first of all, we re in a hotel room for the last two weeks third hotel It could be worse.
6
SPEAKER_02
You could walk through snow eight miles get over it with two kids under four Not everything needs to be said in the minute Let me just tell my story now and I realized I had to get over here by 9 a.m For a meeting that was in the other room
6
SPEAKER_02
And the breakfast wasn t coming and I was like, I have to get this is so stupid.
6
SPEAKER_02
Listen, I was stupid I was telling the story so you sound so stupid But she what she does though is she knows that I m in a flustered moment and that s the moment she decides to sting You know, it s called being married to a woman and then my response is not great and then it s my response or this one was I just don t get the Off on what you just said.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s not everything needs to be said in that moment.
6
SPEAKER_01
I
6
SPEAKER_02
So we gotta move on to the next topic.
6
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no, Leanne, keep going, keep going.
6
SPEAKER_00
Not everything needs to be said in that moment is the biggest lesson I had to learn because similar to you, I was shut up my whole life, right?
6
SPEAKER_00
I couldn t be honest with my mom.
6
SPEAKER_00
I chose not to talk to her a lot of the time.
6
SPEAKER_00
So I had to kind of learn to speak my mind.
6
SPEAKER_00
And in any pendulum swing, right, you swing too far first and you have to find the middle.
6
SPEAKER_00
So am I swinging too far?
6
SPEAKER_00
I would start saying exactly what was on my mind when it was on my mind.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I don t care how it really don t care how it affects you.
6
SPEAKER_00
I need to have a voice here.
6
SPEAKER_00
And at a certain point I went, well, what s the goal really?
6
SPEAKER_00
Is the goal to have a voice?
6
SPEAKER_00
Or is the goal to be understood?
6
SPEAKER_00
Is the goal to be cared for in a better way?
6
SPEAKER_00
Well, if that s the goal, then shut up right now.
6
SPEAKER_00
And when the time is right, when we re not so emotional, when we re not so invested, I can have the same exact conversation and it ll be received.
6
SPEAKER_00
Because I live with a one-upper.
6
SPEAKER_00
If I have a cut on my finger, Bert s definitely cut off his finger.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, fuck.
6
SPEAKER_00
If he cut off, if I cut off my finger, he s lost his arm.
6
SPEAKER_00
I mean, there s like, there s no, I can never be the one that s the most fill in the blank.
6
SPEAKER_01
When he comes in after this, I m going to say that was the best podcast I ve ever listened to ever.
6
SPEAKER_00
Then you ll get out of him the best podcast you ve ever had because he will try to annihilate this one.
6
SPEAKER_00
But yes.
6
SPEAKER_00
So then I thought to myself, I m never going to win in this scenario.
6
SPEAKER_00
Not that I m trying to win, but I m never going to get what I need in this scenario.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m going to replay this and do my best to take your advice because I think it s really good advice, especially for me.
6
SPEAKER_01
Do you see how I waited for the moment to bring it up the right moment and now I get my result.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s exactly right.
6
SPEAKER_02
And you know, as you re talking, there s a lot of things we have different backgrounds, but there s a lot of things you re saying that.
6
SPEAKER_02
resonate deeply with me.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s very similar, maybe not the same exact mapping of thoughts, but the goal that I m trying to get to is the same.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s a good intention.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m not a malicious person in our conversation.
6
SPEAKER_00
No, but you are annoying.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s just because you re married.
6
SPEAKER_02
You think you re some peach?
6
SPEAKER_02
You think you re the easiest one?
6
SPEAKER_01
I think I m easier than you.
6
SPEAKER_02
Oh my god, Taylor.
6
SPEAKER_02
Taylor s been our producer for 12 years.
6
SPEAKER_02
He knows the secret.
6
SPEAKER_01
When you live with your one-upper, is he still one-upping you to this day?
6
SPEAKER_01
Or do you not try to one-up him?
6
SPEAKER_01
Like, do you not even go there anymore?
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I don t go there.
6
SPEAKER_01
You just let him one-up?
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t go there.
6
SPEAKER_00
Let him bleed out with his arm cut off?
6
SPEAKER_00
Well, let me tell you something about marriage.
6
SPEAKER_00
Your partner s not supposed to be your everything.
6
SPEAKER_00
I agree with you.
6
SPEAKER_00
No, that s not.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s not.
6
SPEAKER_00
If I need someone to give me what I need, I go to that person.
6
SPEAKER_00
Right.
6
SPEAKER_00
Bert gives me tons of what I need in tons of different areas.
6
SPEAKER_00
But if we re in a disagreement and I can feel like this is going to have to happen later, I ll call my girlfriend Sandy and go, let me tell you what this asshole just did.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then she will give me everything I need.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then two days later, I can have the real conversation with Bert saying, hey, you know, in that moment,
6
SPEAKER_00
This is what I needed and he can hear me.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then I can move forward.
6
SPEAKER_00
So it s not that I just eat my feelings or deny my feelings or I go to the person who can help me with what I need at the moment.
6
SPEAKER_00
I have lots of friends who have lots of different purposes in my life.
6
SPEAKER_00
I have a therapist.
6
SPEAKER_00
I have a dad.
6
SPEAKER_00
I have great in-laws.
6
SPEAKER_00
I have lots of resources to go to the right person.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I m such an open book, and I m such an open book with my intention with people, that at this point, they all know why I m coming with a problem.
6
SPEAKER_00
But in the beginning, I would say, hey, you re my person when I need a contrary point of view.
6
SPEAKER_00
You re my person when I need someone to see things exactly as I see them and ride or die for me.
6
SPEAKER_00
You re the person who needs to tell me what s going on inside me and get really analytical about why I m doing this.
6
SPEAKER_00
So everybody kind of knows who they are for me, and I knew who those people are for me so I can reach out to the right people.
6
SPEAKER_00
Because it sounds like you re really good at communication.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think I had to learn that, but I think I am pretty good.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it seems like you re really good at it.
6
SPEAKER_02
Let s talk about Symbiotica again for the millionth time on this podcast.
6
SPEAKER_02
And that is because we absolutely love Symbiotica.
6
SPEAKER_02
I think the founders of Symbiotica, all of them over there,
6
SPEAKER_02
hold the record for most appearances on this show.
6
SPEAKER_02
We could talk to these people that run this company for hours, and that is because they re so knowledgeable.
6
SPEAKER_02
They have so much information when it comes to health and wellness.
6
SPEAKER_02
There are so many products that I could talk about on their line, which we ve done for years, but two that I want to highlight today is their Magnesium Threonate and their Glutathione.
6
SPEAKER_02
Every single morning when I have my coffee, I don t use any sweetener anymore.
6
SPEAKER_02
I take a little bit of raw milk,
6
SPEAKER_02
and I put in magnesium L3 and 8.
6
SPEAKER_02
Magnesium is going to cross the blood-brain barrier.
6
SPEAKER_02
You can also put this in hot tea or matcha.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s great there as well.
6
SPEAKER_02
That s one that I m taking all of the time.
6
SPEAKER_02
And then their glutathione.
6
SPEAKER_02
I think Stimbiotica has the best glutathione on the market.
6
SPEAKER_02
It is incredible.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s different than most glutathiones that it s a liposomal delivery, so it s extremely effective.
6
SPEAKER_02
You actually eat the product.
6
SPEAKER_02
Those two products I d like to highlight, but they also have so many products on their line.
6
SPEAKER_02
They re coming out with nothing but quality all the time.
6
SPEAKER_02
Symbiotica supplements are an easy and effective way to get your daily dose of nutrition and their subscription service is risk-free.
6
SPEAKER_02
You can modify or freeze it if you need to, plus you get exclusive discounts, perks, and access to their community.
6
SPEAKER_02
It is so easy.
6
SPEAKER_02
So start your subscription today.
6
SPEAKER_02
You can save up to 15% off your subscription with our code SKINNY.
6
SPEAKER_02
Just go to symbiotica.com and use code SKINNY on your subscription order.
6
SPEAKER_02
Once again, that s symbiotica.com, code SKINNY.
6
SPEAKER_01
Melissa Wood Health.
6
SPEAKER_01
When I can t get a meditation in the morning, I like a legs up meditation, relax before my kids wake up.
6
SPEAKER_01
I will take her app and I will get Townes in a stroller and I will put on her 16 minute walking meditation and I will walk.
6
SPEAKER_01
And it s been so nice because having kids, like before kids, I used to meditate every single morning.
6
SPEAKER_01
I would meditate for fucking 30 minutes.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then with kids, I ve had to like adjust.
6
SPEAKER_01
And this little tweak of doing a walking meditation has been so game changing.
6
SPEAKER_01
After her meditation, I ll go straight to my notes.
7
SPEAKER_01
I ll write all these notes down.
7
SPEAKER_01
I get so much clarity.
7
SPEAKER_01
I m sure you ve heard of Melissa Wood Health.
7
SPEAKER_01
If you haven t, you have to check out her app, MWH.
7
SPEAKER_01
It basically is designed to strengthen both your mind and your body.
7
SPEAKER_01
She has workouts, meditation, nutrition, lifestyle.
7
SPEAKER_01
Her content is stuff that I always find value in.
7
SPEAKER_01
I ll go on and like look at her grocery lists or listen to the episode on her app of why she got into meditation or even do a workout like when I need something quick and it always hits the spot.
7
SPEAKER_01
Melissa s workouts offer a blend of yoga and Pilates classes.
7
SPEAKER_01
She also has a seven day reset and renew program.
7
SPEAKER_01
Everyone s obsessed on Instagram and a week long nutrition program.
7
SPEAKER_01
As Melissa says herself, don t trust me, try me.
7
SPEAKER_01
Visit MelissaWoodHealth.com and use code SKINNY at checkout to get your first month free of your monthly membership.
7
SPEAKER_01
That s M-E-L-L-I-S-S-A-W-O-O-D-H-E-A-L-T-H.com and you can use code SKINNY for your first month free.
7
SPEAKER_01
What other things have you learned about marriage?
7
SPEAKER_01
I think you re the perfect person to ask.
7
SPEAKER_01
You guys seem like you have a really solid marriage.
7
SPEAKER_00
If it seems like it s life or death in the moment, it probably isn t.
7
SPEAKER_00
If you think about something and you think, OK, 20 years from now, what will I think about this moment?
7
SPEAKER_00
And if it is like nothing, then have the argument, have the discussion, but have a different perspective on it.
7
SPEAKER_00
Something that we ve done from the beginning that I think is really important is we do this thing called the summit.
7
SPEAKER_00
where about once a year maybe, we have a meeting, like a business meeting.
7
SPEAKER_00
So the business meeting is about everything.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s about how are we communicating?
7
SPEAKER_00
How s our sex life?
7
SPEAKER_00
How s our money?
7
SPEAKER_00
How s our parenting?
7
SPEAKER_00
How s our wellness?
7
SPEAKER_00
How s your parents affecting me?
7
SPEAKER_00
How are my parents affecting you?
7
SPEAKER_00
What do we want to do in business?
7
SPEAKER_00
It s like an overall kind of temperature taking of where each person is, and we put our weapons down at the door.
7
SPEAKER_00
You show up at the table with the intention of learning, right?
7
SPEAKER_00
Not the intention of being right or being the hero, but the intention of really learning what s your agenda for this year or this moment in time or this relationship.
7
SPEAKER_00
And here s mine and wanting to understand where you each are.
7
SPEAKER_00
We ve done that.
7
SPEAKER_00
I don t know how we figured that out, but we ve done that from the beginning.
7
SPEAKER_01
How long is the summit?
7
SPEAKER_00
Depends on what we re talking about.
7
SPEAKER_01
Well, is it like 10 minutes or is it like 6 hours?
7
SPEAKER_01
Totally depends on what we re talking about.
7
SPEAKER_01
Has it been 6 hours?
7
SPEAKER_01
Never been 6 hours.
7
SPEAKER_01
How long has it been the longest?
7
SPEAKER_01
Maybe hour, hour and a half.
7
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
7
SPEAKER_01
I m gonna buy a gavel off Amazon and I m gonna have Summit.
7
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no, but then that makes you the judge.
7
SPEAKER_01
That makes me the judge.
7
SPEAKER_01
No, you can t do that.
7
SPEAKER_02
She would love to be the judge.
7
SPEAKER_01
No, no, we don t do that.
7
SPEAKER_02
I wanna do Summit.
7
SPEAKER_02
You know, some of the things that Lauren and I do is
7
SPEAKER_02
Maybe not in the same way, but similar, like we will.
7
SPEAKER_02
One, we always talk about like the recovery process.
7
SPEAKER_02
We see so many of our friends that are dating and they start fighting over the dumbest shit with their partners.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I m like, this is not worthy.
7
SPEAKER_02
You re not going to care.
7
SPEAKER_02
We are committed to like the big stuff.
7
SPEAKER_02
we gotta go through.
7
SPEAKER_02
But the little stuff is like, that was stupid.
7
SPEAKER_02
Even if we get into it with each other, we just move on.
7
SPEAKER_02
Like, we don t need to go back and rehash it.
7
SPEAKER_02
We just look at each other, that was dumb.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, same thing.
7
SPEAKER_02
Right, and I think when I watch some of my friends that are new to relationships, and the dumb stuff is what s crushing them, like, just let it go.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s not that important.
7
SPEAKER_02
It doesn t matter.
7
SPEAKER_02
Like, there s other things, especially as you get deeper in a relationship, that are gonna be much more important to, like, that s when you put your foot in the sand.
7
SPEAKER_02
But the stupid shit, like, you gotta be able to recover from that stuff quick.
7
SPEAKER_00
Totally.
7
SPEAKER_00
Don t sweat the small stuff, as corny as that sounds.
7
SPEAKER_00
That s exactly right.
7
SPEAKER_00
Don t sweat the small stuff.
7
SPEAKER_00
Try not to take things personally, I think.
7
SPEAKER_00
And, you know, we always...
7
SPEAKER_00
keep saying, you should be able to say anything to your partner, really.
7
SPEAKER_00
If your intention is not to hurt them, we don t name call, we don t defame character, ever.
7
SPEAKER_00
That s just not who we are.
7
SPEAKER_00
We don t do that in a fight with a stranger on the street.
7
SPEAKER_00
So if you know your partner s intention is love, then you can hear things very differently.
7
SPEAKER_00
Once you start forgetting that they re not coming at you with love, you start thinking something a little different, it affects how you listen.
7
SPEAKER_00
Really, the most important thing is listening.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s not talking.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s listening.
7
SPEAKER_01
I hope you ve been taking notes this whole podcast.
7
SPEAKER_01
I can t wait to hear what you learned.
7
SPEAKER_02
In a weird way, though, I also think it s strange.
7
SPEAKER_02
We do this show together and I almost feel in a strange way, and I don t want to call it therapy because I don t want to diminish therapy or therapists or people that are in therapy, but we get it.
7
SPEAKER_02
done 700 of these long conversations together and I feel like it s been therapeutic for our relationship because I don t think a lot of couples spend a lot of time with an outside perspective, right?
7
SPEAKER_02
Like we can, I can hear this.
7
SPEAKER_02
I will take this information and I know she is enthusiastic about me taking a lot of this information, but it s not, it doesn t have to be like this.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s like a third perspective.
7
SPEAKER_02
Totally both in the same room.
7
SPEAKER_02
Does that make sense?
7
SPEAKER_00
It does.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s almost like learning publicly, right?
7
SPEAKER_00
As opposed to when you go into a therapist s office, a couple s, well I ve never been in a couple s therapy, but I would imagine that s such a private space so you can, as we say in the South, you can act ugly.
7
SPEAKER_00
You know, you can act ugly with a therapist.
7
SPEAKER_00
You can t act ugly on a podcast.
7
SPEAKER_00
The whole world hears you.
7
SPEAKER_00
So you have to kind of be on your best behavior.
7
SPEAKER_00
And listen, because I would imagine your goal is to learn out loud.
7
SPEAKER_00
So as you learn, your audience is also learning.
7
SPEAKER_00
So the intention here is to learn, whereas if you would go into a private session with a couples therapist, that might not be your intention.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I think sometimes maybe people will get frustrated with me personally because I ll repeat stuff back or clarify points.
7
SPEAKER_02
But to your point, I m doing this show right now with the three of us in the room, almost disregarding that anyone s even potentially listening later.
7
SPEAKER_02
And so I m, you re right.
7
SPEAKER_02
I m trying to absorb and listen and learn and hopefully there s a benefit from people that are listening.
7
SPEAKER_02
But like selfishly, I m also like just kind of doing it for myself and trying to retain everything that I hear here.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
7
SPEAKER_02
You know?
7
SPEAKER_01
What is your day-to-day like?
7
SPEAKER_01
Like, I feel like you guys have, I know you said he s on the road a lot, but I feel like your schedule is crazy, too, because you re organizing.
7
SPEAKER_01
You also have your own podcast.
7
SPEAKER_01
What is your day?
7
SPEAKER_01
Like, what s a day in a life of Leigh-Anne?
7
SPEAKER_00
Well, my life has changed a lot in the last year.
7
SPEAKER_00
We have 14 employees now.
7
SPEAKER_00
This time last year, we had one.
7
SPEAKER_00
So it s interesting.
7
SPEAKER_00
I do not have a college degree.
7
SPEAKER_00
I am just somebody who s super scrappy, and I think I m just logical and street smart.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I have a lot of history in comedy.
7
SPEAKER_00
So when we started building this company, it became apparent after we had three or four employees that someone needed to be the CEO.
7
SPEAKER_00
And that became me because I kind of know where all the bodies are buried in the whole scope of his world.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I know what s going on personally and what s going on in typical Hollywood and what s going on in atypical Hollywood.
7
SPEAKER_00
So my day-to-day now is not the same as when I had small kids.
7
SPEAKER_00
I did a lot of volunteer work when I had small kids for my kids  schools.
7
SPEAKER_00
I was super involved in all their sports.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m still a Girl Scout troop leader.
7
SPEAKER_00
I ve been a Girl Scout troop leader for 13 years.
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Both my girls are Girl Scouts.
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But now my days are really intense.
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I work out three days a week with a trainer.
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I m in therapy one day a week.
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And then I go to the office and I m at the office all day.
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Are you in the cold plunge?
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I will not do that.
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I apologize.
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You won t do it?
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I tried to cold plunge for a week, and I think it caused a lot of trauma responses, because when I stayed with my dad, he lived in a 250-year-old log cabin that didn t have heat.
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And let me tell you about cold in Georgia with no heat.
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It s pretty freaking cold.
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And every time I would get in there, it would make me so emotional.
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I tried it for one week every single day, and I was like, I don t really need to go through this.
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I m good.
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But I sauna.
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I love to sauna.
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But no cold-pledge, no.
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That s interesting.
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No can do.
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It made you emotional.
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It was awful.
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I mean, standing in this log cabin to take a shower, you have to get undressed, obviously.
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And it s like 32 in your bathroom.
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Just in the air, right?
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And to get in that hot shower.
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I would never shower.
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Can you imagine me living there?
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It was awful.
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It was awful.
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I would never shower.
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We had one fireplace.
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And so the only heat in the house was one fire, this one fireplace.
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We eventually built a fireplace to kind of put more heat in the house.
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But no, I can t do cold like that.
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No, no way.
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No.
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Butthole sunning?
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Not me.
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Not you?
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No.
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Any other things that you like to do?
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Well, I drink a ton of water.
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Okay, which seems like oh duh But no, I drink like a gallon of water a day like actually
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Actually, you drink a gallon?
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I do, yeah.
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Do you measure it out?
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Yes, I do.
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I have a bottle that s not with me, but I drink four of these bottles every day.
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Yes.
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Water is—you know what my trainer— I should get a shitload of water.
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My trainer is amazing.
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He is the trainer for the U.S.
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Olympic beach volleyball team, and his number one thing is water.
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It s like your 70 percent water in your body.
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You just need a lot of water.
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It lubricates your joints, it helps you sleep, it makes your skin look better, and it makes you more effective as an athlete.
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Who is your favorite comedian out of all the comedians that you hang out with?
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Personally.
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Besides Burt?
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Well, Dave Attell.
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He is really talented, too.
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Dave Attell?
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Yeah, one of the best.
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Personally.
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Amazing.
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Personally.
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What do you mean personally?
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Like, not on stage.
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Oh, you mean as a person?
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As a friend.
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I like Andrew Centeno a lot.
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God, I don t know all these comics.
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He s a great guy.
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Shane Torres is one of our closest friends.
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Dave Williamson is a very close friend.
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I bet it s pretty funny when you guys all go out.
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I don t know about funny.
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You know, comics are... Mark Norman is... I forgot.
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Sorry, Mark.
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Mark Norman is probably... I call him my little brother.
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He s just the best.
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But, you know, comics are funny.
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But they re not normal people.
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So there are a lot of neuroses, a lot of paranoia, and some of them, a lot of dysfunction.
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What do you mean neuroses?
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What do you mean by that?
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Like OCD stuff, ruminating on stuff.
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Think about the kind of mind that has to, that goes and pursues that and is that.
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You know what I mean?
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It s not a, I don t want to be, it s weird.
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It s not normal.
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That s not a common mind.
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Hey, I m going to go and stand in front of a bunch of people and tell jokes for a living.
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That s it.
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If you think about it, you ve got to be a little bit crazy, but that s going to be the way that I make a living is go in front of a bunch of people and tell jokes.
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They don t process the world like other people, right?
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They ll process the world very differently.
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So in those processes that it s.
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sometimes looks like pain, sometimes it looks like obsession, sometimes it looks like, you know, lack of ethics, or it just looks different.
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So I think knowing what s at the core is what you have to do when you hang out with a bunch of comics.
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I can imagine, too, that you save your energy capacity for stage.
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Meaning you can t go out and, to me, this is what I would think if I was a comic, you can t go out and waste all your like funniness and performance when you re just out on a normal day.
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You almost have to save it to use it on stage.
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Does that make sense?
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Yeah, there s a lot of sleeping that happens on tour, a lot of naps.
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Yeah, you have to like recharge, recharge.
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I mean, I don t know.
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That s what I would think.
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They re very nonconformist, you know, all of them are nonconformist.
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And what s interesting about it is they still conform to the schedule of a standup, right?
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But the schedule of a standup is so skewed, you know, their night starts at 7 or 8.
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And then they re in bed at 2 or 3, so then they re sleeping till noon.
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And then they ll take a nap at 4.
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You know, there s a lot of sleep involved.
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But they re very much nonconformists.
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And I love that about them.
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I love the whole community of comedy because they have such a unique perspective on life.
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And how do you learn if you just walk through your own perspective all day?
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You can t possibly learn.
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And why wouldn t you want to learn
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a different perspective through laughter.
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I hate it when comics get canceled.
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Sometimes they probably should be canceled, but most of the time I go, wow, you really just can t look at it just slightly off color?
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It s just slightly off color lets you know where you may be slightly off color.
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But also comics aren t going to start, they re going to start to feel like they can t do anything.
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And it s like a laser tag game.
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Don t you feel like the pendulum, speaking of pendulums, it s swung back a little now where I feel like people are like, we need comedy now to call out the absurdities.
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And I think there was a window of time there.
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Let s call it 2020 to maybe end of 22.
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But I feel like now people are like, OK, bring back the comedy.
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I think that window of time did a great deal of damage for a lot of reasons.
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I think a lot of the social issues that were going on were very confusing for the middle school, high school age kids that were listening to, you know, Me Too movement, which was a really important movement.
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But when you re an undeveloped brain, what I ve seen happen is a lot of girls be really scared of guys.
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And I go, well, that sucks.
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Vice versa.
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A lot of guys just will not.
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Exactly.
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You re exactly right.
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It fractured that.
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I think about even how I, if I was a young guy during that time, like the only way that when I was dating, you have to actually go up to a woman, right?
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I would just be like, I m not going up to anyone.
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SPEAKER_02
You were trying to 69 me at McDonald s.
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I don t know what you would ve done.
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Were you still in the blue sequined dress?
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I was 13.
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I wasn t wearing the blue sequined dress.
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I might go buy one of those.
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No, but I just, I imagine men and women, it s like men don t want to, I think that period of time did so much damage.
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Dating is, we hear horror stories now of just people dating.
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They don t know what to do.
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They don t know how to go about it.
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It s just a mess.
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I have a high schooler and I watch her whole peer group go, wow, this is a whole new world.
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And what caused this whole new world?
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Why are we here?
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And the only thing I can come up with is the pandemic and me too.
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A lot of bad guys got exposed, a lot of bad behavior, I shouldn t say guys, but a lot of bad behavior was exposed in me too.
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And I think kids, the girls don t, we re too young to process it, and we re still exposed to it.
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Does that make sense?
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Yeah, they just think, now they think that behavior is... Standard.
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Standard.
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And it s not standard.
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It s the outliers, and those outliers are, are inarguably terrible people, just like there are outliers in every community that have yucky people.
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It s unfortunate.
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Anyway, a tangent.
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I love a tangent.
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I love it.
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I got a PhD on this Brilliant people on this podcast.
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No, that was a good one.
8
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I really really enjoyed Where can everyone find you your podcast?
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Tell us about what you re working on I want you and Burt to come on together later on but tell us what you re working on tell us about your Podcast everything that you re doing and where to find you on Instagram.
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Okay.
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Well, I m the CEO of birdie boy productions and
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So you can go to birdiebirdproductions.com to check that out.
8
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We just produced a great stand-up special for Shane Torres that you can watch on YouTube and listen to on SiriusXM.
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I m very proud of it.
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I ve produced all of Burt s specials, but this was the first special I produced that was not Burt.
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So I m very proud of that.
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Congrats.
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Wife of the Party is my podcast.
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You can go to wifeotp.com.
8
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That s my website.
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You can also listen anywhere you listen to podcasts.
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You can find me on YouTube.
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Oh, and Instagram.
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Leanne Kreischer is my Instagram.
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Thank you very much for coming on.
8
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Thank you.
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You re awesome.
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I m truly going to go tell him this was the best podcast I ve ever listened to.
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Thank you, guys.
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You might cross pass him in the lobby.