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Hey everyone, this is Molly and Matt and we re the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.
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It s a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting.
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A new season of Bridgerton is here.
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And with it, a new season of Bridgerton, the official podcast.
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I m your host, Gabby Collins.
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And this season, we are bringing fans even deeper into the ton.
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Watch season three of the Shondaland series on Netflix.
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This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.
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The joy they brought to the nation.
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You re free completely.
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No one is there to destroy you.
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The danger they endured.
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They said my head should be cut off.
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I m John Legend.
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Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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It was one day, no one cared what I did, no one cared what I wore, what I looked like, what I said.
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And then all of a sudden, that was all anyone would talk about.
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I think back to some of the things that I said in interviews.
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Yeah, hate comments don t bother me.
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And I was like, you went home and cried all night because of it.
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While filming season three, our entire family was going through a lot.
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It s hard to watch back those episodes.
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I say I don t know to everything, but the thing is, I don t know who I am.
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The best-selling author and host.
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The number one health and wellness podcast.
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty.
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Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose.
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Thank you so much for choosing us every single week to become happier, healthier, and more healed.
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You know my goal is just to sit down with fascinating people, learn about their stories, their journeys, their challenges, so that we can all learn and grow together, so that we can start to make better decisions, choices, and have insights in our life that help us along the way.
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I ve found that
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studying people s lives and studying people s stories has helped me so much in my own life, and I m hoping that through On Purpose, we can do that together.
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Today s guest is someone that I ve never had the joy of sitting down with one-on-one on the show, so I m very, very excited to invite the superstar crowned the reigning queen of TikTok by the New York Times, Charli D Amelio.
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one of the first on the platform to hit over 100 million followers, and is the current leading female TikTok creator.
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Now one of the most recognizable faces online in print and on screen with her family s Hulu docuseries, The D Amelio Show.
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In May of 2021, Charli and Dixie launched their own clothing brand, Social Tourist.
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Charli recently starred in Prada s global ad campaign at the end of 2022.
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And in June of 2022, Charli launched her first ever fragrance venture, Born Dreamer.
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Alongside her family in May of 2023, they launched D Amelio Footwear under D Amelio Brands.
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Charli s influence on social media has earned her coveted spots on all the major lists.
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And I want to welcome to the show, Charli D Amelio.
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Charli, thank you for doing this.
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Thank you so much for being here.
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Thank you for having me.
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I m excited.
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Yeah, I ve been really looking forward to this because I want to say this to you because I don t think I ve ever talked about this with you, but you come up in more conversations or when I m doing keynotes on stages,
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And it s really funny because I kind of think of you randomly and often.
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I want to share this with you.
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I ve never said this to you.
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And it comes up because I have watched your journey from afar, as everyone has, for such a long time.
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And I ve really deeply admired just how phenomenally skilled you are at what you do.
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I think you re a phenomenal dancer, an incredible performer.
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And if I m ever presenting or talking to anyone about social media or digital or whatever it is, I always bring your name up because
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I think you re one of those people that obviously got your moment on TikTok when it took off and everything, but I feel like there were just years and years of practice and hard work that went behind it that we don t always see.
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And I just wanted to share that with you as we kick off today, that I think it s incredible.
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And I think you ve been practicing for this life that you live since you were like four years old.
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And so I always try and highlight that.
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And so, I don t know, I think of you in that context often.
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No, thank you.
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I mean, I appreciate that.
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I think when it comes to social media, it s very easy to get on yourself and say it was just luck.
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But to hear that from someone like you is definitely, you know, puts it into a different perspective that I don t always let myself feel, which is really nice.
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Good.
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I m glad.
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Thank you.
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Do you still kind of kid yourself and just say it s luck to yourself now after all these years?
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Do you still feel that way?
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I do.
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And I think that, you know, having that in the back of my mind definitely keeps me a little bit more humble and helps me, you know, this wasn t something that I was asking for, looking for, but I mean, I ve,
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Like my entire life I ve been filming videos, whether it s like I was 10 and look at how I do this or this how I do my makeup, like always just making videos.
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That was always something I loved and I never shared them with anybody.
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anyone until tiktok so it s really it s crazy to think back about those times and how they probably really did help me get to where i am now i love what you said that luck or viewing your success as luck helps you stay humble i think that s such a beautiful trait and quality to aspire for and to always practice at the same time though i m guessing that when you see it
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through the lens of luck, sometimes it can affect your self-esteem or self-worth because you re like, oh, I just got lucky and maybe I don t deserve this.
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I don t know if those thoughts come up at the same time as trying to stay humble.
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There s this side of like low self-esteem that we all go through.
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I mean, absolutely.
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I think it s hard not to feel that way, especially a lot of my journey was everyone telling me that I didn t deserve it, kind of feeding into that and it s starting to really affect how I think about myself.
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Do I deserve anything?
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Why am I where I am?
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I don t do anything special.
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different than anyone.
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There s millions of people that would probably be better at my job than I am, but somehow it s me.
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And, you know, I kind of try and separate myself online from who I am in person.
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I always like to say it s Charlie D Amelio, who everyone else sees, and Charlie, who I am, when it s just me.
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And, you know, you really have to
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appreciate the things that you work hard for because I feel like those are the moments where I really do feel proud of myself because I don t always, even when achieving these amazing things, I m like, well, it s not really me.
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It s the people that are watching me that got me here, you know, like they could have done this to anyone.
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But when it comes to things like dancing with the stars or hosting the Kids  Choice Awards, like those were two
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of probably my favorite accomplishments of mine because I really felt like I had to work for that and it was just moments where I really truly felt proud of myself and I don t feel like that very often.
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I m so glad that you shared that with us because yeah, it s interesting, isn t it?
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It s like the reason why you did so well on both of those is because you ve done it for years and years and years.
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Yeah.
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But sometimes you need to have a moment where you re working really hard on one specific thing so that you can see it.
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How long did it take you to make this
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awareness of like there s Charli D Amelio and then there s Charli, like how long did it take you to figure that out for yourself and to even explain it in that way?
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Yeah it definitely took me a while.
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I always knew in the back of my mind it was like I would do certain brand deals or ads and they d have this creative and I do it and I put on this like super happy smiley like obviously catering to a younger audience which I love doing
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But that s not who I am at heart.
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And I think growing up, and I started this when I was, what, 15 years old?
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And then I was turning 17 and 18 and I was, you know, getting tattoos and I would curse and everyone would be like, whoa, this is crazy.
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And I was like, this is what I
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I do in my normal day-to-day life, like this is who I am.
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So I really just had to, the version that people don t like isn t even me.
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It s what they nitpick out of certain things that I do.
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And I think coming to that realization, honestly, over the past few months, maybe this past year, I think has been probably one of the most helpful things to not let what other people say get to me.
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I empathize and feel so compassionate for how difficult that could be to be that young and to have millions and millions and millions of people having an opinion on everything from what you wear to what you say to what you do and who you date and just everything, right?
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Like I can t imagine being your age and being put under a magnifying glass like in the way you have, which I think is also very unique because I think TikTok
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put people under a magnifying glass in a way that it also never been done before.
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It s like a first time thing.
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So what has changed about then, 15, and you re only 18 now, so it s only been three years, right?
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19.
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19 now, you re 19 now, so it s been four years.
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Yeah.
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In those four years, what has, what would you say is the biggest change that you ve seen in who you thought you were then and who you are now?
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I think I just, you know, I was in high school.
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It was one day, no one cared what I did, no one cared what I wore, what I looked like, what I said, and then all of a sudden that was all anyone would talk about.
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It happened so fast.
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And I put up a shield to kind of protect myself, which helped me, but also hurt me a little bit because it was hard to get out of that shell.
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And I mean, I think back to some of the things that I said in interviews like three years ago, yeah, hate comments don t bother me.
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And I was like, you went home and cried all night because of it.
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Like I would say things to make people think one thing, but inside I was very,
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sheltered and I went through a.
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a pretty big stage for maybe like the first two years where I always looked out for the best in people and I got myself hurt a lot.
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People wanted to make videos together and they would invite me over for collabs and then they would all hang out and I wouldn t be invited and I would be so confused and the excuse was always, you re too young or whatever.
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And I was like, you guys are just hanging out at a house.
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Like, how am I too young for that but not too young to have in all your videos?
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And it took a lot of, you know, distancing myself, a lot of talking to my family, going to therapy, you know, figuring out who I am outside of anyone watching to be a little bit more content with myself and understand that I don t need to
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have all of these people like me, you know, I m fine on my own.
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I love being by myself.
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I m fine with the friends that I have in my corner that I ve had for years or the new friends that come into my life that actually love me for me.
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And, you know, there s nothing that I can do.
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I feel like now I m kind of at a point where
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you know, whatever.
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Like, that s kind of my motto.
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I always am just like, all right, okay, I don t know, I don t care.
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And focusing more on the things that really matter to me.
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Like, it sounds so lame because I constantly talk about my dogs like they re my children.
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But literally, like, spending the day with them, taking care of them, my responsibility being them and not myself.
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I don t have to worry about work or anything.
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They don t care if I have a million followers or none.
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I don t know, just focusing more on the things that actually matter, the fans that actually love me no matter what, like have been there for years or are brand new and actually like who I am and not just what I put out, you know?
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Yeah, and it s so hard because so much of what you put out is you or is a part of you.
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Yeah.
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and it can feel like the biggest part of you because it gets the biggest response.
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And it s almost confusing in your brain to be like, when you re with your dogs, it s a small part of your life where there s a small amount of people there, but it s actually a bigger, of a bigger importance or bigger significance to you.
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Yeah, because I have so much life that no one sees.
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I have so much about me that no one knows about.
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And I m fine with that, you know?
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I don t feel,
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like I need to change myself for anyone because I ve I did that for so long and it was so exhausting and I worked so much while being so burnt out and just wanting to kind of get away from everyone.
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Yeah.
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That now what I want to do is definitely a lot more important than what everyone s telling me to do.
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And that s and that s really tough like when I ve spoken to
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even like young musicians and music stars, it s like most people get their break when they re like 15 years old or something like that.
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And naturally everyone s older than you.
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And as a 15 year old, you re used to having parents or people older than you telling you what to do.
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And so whether it s your manager or whether it s your agent or your team or whatever it is, they book you and then you re doing what they say, because you re doing what the adults say.
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It s kind of normal.
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And now that you re an adult yourself, you re kind of like trying to take that back.
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What was it that you felt you did that wasn t you or that you felt you were doing because the adults are saying to do it?
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Or what were those things that you felt like you moved away from who you wanted to be or who you were?
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I think I, you know, for quite some time tried to just do whatever anyone said to make them like me, whether it was how I dressed or how I talked or what I said, anything, what type of videos I make.
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I was listening to every comment, whether it was like,
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I hate that hoodie.
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Well, never wearing that again.
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Like this person doesn t like it and dictating every decision I made through what other people said.
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And I mean, for a long time, the beginning, um, I was only surrounded by a bunch of adults and 25 year olds and all of this stuff.
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And they,
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would always say how mature I am, but I was just trying to fit in, you know, I was still in high school, still like, you know, you want to be with the cool kids.
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So the people that I thought was cool, I would do anything to be like them, you know, dress different every day or, or speak about specific things or try to sound cool or change myself.
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It s just so not worth it because why am I going to do that and how long am I going to do that until they realize that it s like, okay, we get it.
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You like whatever we like.
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You don t have to do that.
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I think it s so unfair to yourself to
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have to do that all the time.
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I love that I love that you use that word unfair.
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Yeah.
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It s almost like it s just unfair to do that to yourself that that really hit me and resonated with me because
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it s almost like you re just doing yourself such a big disservice by molding yourself into what you think someone wants.
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And that was just a thought they had on one day, in one second, in one comment.
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And then you have no idea who you are.
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I had to sit with myself and say, I have no idea what I like.
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I have no idea how I want to dress.
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I have no idea how I want to do my makeup or what s my favorite song or what s my favorite movie.
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I just,
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I don t know.
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I do not know anything about myself.
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And my answer to every question was, I don t know.
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And I actually had to talk to my therapist about this.
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And I was like, I say I don t know to everything, but the thing is, I really don t know.
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I don t know who I am.
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I feel like all I know is what anyone tells me to do.
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I mean, it s a really weird feeling because how do you get out of that?
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How do you find out what you like?
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But you really just have to try things.
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Get out of your house.
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I was not leaving my house.
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ever, like I would go through these phases where I don t want anyone to talk to me.
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I don t want to do anything.
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I just want to stay in my room all day, watch TV, like not get ready, nothing.
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And I ve been really low a couple times.
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And I think this past time that I got really low was when I was like, okay, my parents even said, they were like, we re not going to let you, we re not going to sit here and watch you
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rot in bed all day and not do anything.
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And just like, we can t do that.
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That s so unfair.
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And especially when you don t live with your parents.
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and they re noticing that, it s an issue.
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So I had to kind of really dig deep and ask the questions that I didn t ask for so long for whatever reason.
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Maybe I didn t want to know the answer or it was too much or scary to figure it out and be your own person, but I think it s just so much easier.
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And I think it s also just, you know, being, it s really hard when you re living your own journey
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And then you realize as you re getting older and as you are maturing, as everyone does, you re looking back going, I can t really expect my 15 year old self to know all this anyway.
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Like I think, you know, for me, when I think about being back to 15 and.
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I didn t know anything about myself and I wasn t dealing with the pressures you dealt with or the challenges that you had.
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And sure, I had different challenges and different stresses as I m sure everyone does, has their own thing.
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But the point is that as a 15 year old self, you don t really know what you like anyway, because it is true.
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You are trying to be with the cool kids or you are trying to be like the other people and you re getting involved in all sorts of things just for people to give you approval and validate you.
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And then all of a sudden, it s amazing that
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you re now coming to that point where you re like, I want to know.
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And I think what I love about what you said is, and it s because I said this often in my books and my work is that knowing what movies you like, what foods you like, what songs you like, that is the beginning of self-awareness.
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Like it s that basic.
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It s, it s not this complicated,
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deep thing that it begins with, it really starts with those things.
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It starts with these really simple everyday choices that we all have to make.
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So I want to ask you simple everyday choices.
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What is it now that Charlie likes?
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Like, what is it that Charlie has discovered that, not Charlie D Amelio, but Charlie enjoys and appreciates?
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Like what are the joys of life that your dogs obviously you mentioned, but what are some of the things that brings you joy that you feel you re discovering for the first time?
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Things that bring me joy.
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I love cleaning.
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That s something that sounds so lame, but it s so therapeutic.
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I love... What about cleaning?
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Because I want to know.
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I want to know now.
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The way you said that with so much genuineness.
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I m like, what about cleaning?
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Honestly to me, it s just therapeutic.
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Like, put something on my TV, clean my room, organize my stuff, make it how I like it, you know?
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Because there can be certain things that, oh well, you know.
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this is cool, I guess I like this, but what picture do I want out?
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What am I proud of and want presented?
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How do I like my bed made?
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How do I like my chargers to be set up?
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It s like such minuscule things that I think makes such a difference.
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And it also makes you feel productive and makes me feel like I have my stuff together.
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And I mean, as someone who struggles with obsessive compulsive disorder, that s one of my like,
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big things where I feel like when I m doing that, I m almost clearing my head.
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So I don t know.
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It s just something that I genuinely enjoy doing and I think is super fun.
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Like this morning, cause I ve had such bad jet lag.
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I was like, okay, I can either try to go to sleep for the next three hours or get up and clean the kitchen and play with the dogs.
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And I was like, all right, let s just get up and do it.
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I ll get up in five minutes and we ll start to do this stuff.
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You order your coffee and do all the things that you need to do to feel together. 
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And that made me happy and I was really proud I did that.
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And I started my day on a great note and now I feel great.
2
SPEAKER_01
So it s just like little things that I find so much fun in.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, no, I mean the team will attest to this too.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m like addicted to organizing shelves and bookshelves so I ll take you to the house afterwards and I have like I have this bookshelf in there that I personally curated and like everything and like even if my wife moves one book I ll notice it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I ll be like where s that book going?
2
SPEAKER_00
But it s like I get that like organizing spaces and
2
SPEAKER_00
creating spaces to be spaces you want to live in and sit in, like even this room right now, like I curated it because I want to be in this space and I want it to feel comfortable for my guests and for myself.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I want it to also spark curiosity or whatever it may be.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I think it s interesting how all these tiny things, when you re intentional about them, they can spark so much joy without trying that hard.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I mean, it might be a little bit of like,
2
SPEAKER_01
the very few parts of my life that I genuinely get to control.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, it s not up to anyone else.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s not, you know, do it this way or wear this or show this product.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s like, I just get to do this and make it how I want, the way I want it on my own schedule.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I m fully in control of this task, start to finish, which, you know, it s a way to deal with being a little bit of a control freak.
2
SPEAKER_00
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2
SPEAKER_00
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2
SPEAKER_00
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SPEAKER_00
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SPEAKER_00
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2
SPEAKER_00
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2
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2
SPEAKER_00
That s drinkjuni.com and make sure you use the code ONPURPOSE.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, and you re right.
2
SPEAKER_00
I think that s such a great point.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s rare that we have that much certainty and control over anything in life.
2
SPEAKER_00
And if we don t do it at home, we re going to potentially try and do it everywhere else where we can t.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, I think that s a great point.
2
SPEAKER_00
What else would you say that you ve discovered about your likes and dislikes?
2
SPEAKER_00
Like what was something that you thought you liked before or someone had told you to like before and now you re like, uh, I actually changed now.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like that s not how I feel about it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Ooh, there s definitely a few.
2
SPEAKER_01
I d say one thing that I started to specifically like my own way was music.
2
SPEAKER_01
I would listen to whatever s popular, and I feel like now I really only listen to the songs that I genuinely enjoy listening to or I relate to.
2
SPEAKER_01
even if it s the most random playlist ever where it s like rap, sad music, country music, like all in one, I enjoy listening to that.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I don t have to listen to whatever everyone else is listening to.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I also can if I want to.
2
SPEAKER_01
If I want to listen to whatever s the top 100, I m going to do that, you know, even in front of other people.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like I can play
2
SPEAKER_01
what I like and I ll take suggestions and not just, what s your favorite song?
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, whatever one s the top one right now.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, you know, having that to myself is also something really nice.
2
SPEAKER_00
Have you discovered any new artists or anyone recently that you re like someone that maybe we haven t heard of or someone that maybe is less heard of that you re like,
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, my favorite artist, his name is Pim Stones.
2
SPEAKER_01
He doesn t make music anymore, which is really, really sad, but he s my favorite artist ever.
2
SPEAKER_01
He s made some of the most incredible songs I ve ever heard, and they re just so beautiful to listen to.
2
SPEAKER_01
And one of them has been my...
2
SPEAKER_01
favorite song for a while.
2
SPEAKER_01
Actually, someone at my dance studio when I was like probably 13 had a solo to it.
2
SPEAKER_01
And ever since then, I ve been obsessed.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he only has like two songs out on Spotify, but I will listen to the two of them just on repeat for ever and ever and ever because they re so good.
2
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s amazing.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
I love it.
2
SPEAKER_00
I ll check it out.
2
SPEAKER_00
Only two songs on Spotify.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
So, Jim Stones.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
All right.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m going to go check it out after this interview.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, I love that.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I think it s really refreshing and it must feel so good.
2
SPEAKER_00
I can see it in your face.
2
SPEAKER_00
So you just seem so like genuinely happy talking about the things that spark joy, that bring you that sense of comfort and ease and make life that much more.
2
SPEAKER_00
What, if someone right now is
2
SPEAKER_00
listening and they re like, Charlie, I m struggling with what, what you just said.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like, I find it hard to be open and honest about the things I like because people make fun of me or ridicule me, or maybe people tell me that s not cool or whatever it is.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like what has slowly given you the confidence to get there?
2
SPEAKER_00
And what, what do you think people need to hear to almost feel confident in themselves to say that?
3
SPEAKER_01
I think it just starts with giving yourself permission to be open with yourself.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because it really, as much as it sucks to hear, it is all in your head.
3
SPEAKER_01
You have to work on your self-talk.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think positive self-talk is something that is so often overlooked because everyone s so overly critical of themselves.
3
SPEAKER_01
You see your face in the reflection of your phone.
3
SPEAKER_01
You re in pictures, background of photos.
3
SPEAKER_01
You re like, oh, I hate this one, but this one posted it, and I can t do anything about it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Once you start speaking in a more positive tone about yourself and the people around you, the easier it is to feel more positive.
3
SPEAKER_01
Instead of, oh, I hate the way I look today.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, you know what?
3
SPEAKER_01
My hair is doing something different, and I kind of like it.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, starting with those little, little things that sound so, so, like it s so tiny.
3
SPEAKER_01
Who even cares?
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, it s in my head.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s not affecting anyone, but it s affecting yourself.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I think just the more you can be positive and open with yourself and not so overly critical of yourself.
3
SPEAKER_01
If you like a movie and no one else likes that movie, it doesn t mean it s a bad movie and you can t like it.
3
SPEAKER_01
You can still enjoy watching it and
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay, we just have different opinions.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s normal.
3
SPEAKER_01
And they probably like stuff I don t like, but that doesn t take away from what they like.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s just, you know, the way you talk to yourself is so important.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you re so right.
3
SPEAKER_00
And it s, it s so subtle, like those thoughts, as you just said, like, I love that switch that you just made between, I don t like how my hair looks today, or, oh, my head s doing something different today.
3
SPEAKER_00
And that s interesting, or it looks cool, whatever it may be.
3
SPEAKER_00
There s an amazing book, for those who are more interested in what Charlie s talking about right now, it s called Psycho-Cybernetics.
3
SPEAKER_00
And it s this whole idea of how
3
SPEAKER_00
how our thoughts completely define our reality.
3
SPEAKER_00
And how, as you just said, studies show that we have 60 to 80,000 thoughts per day, and 80% of them are negative and repetitive.
3
SPEAKER_00
So we re often having the same thought, which is like, I don t like how I look, or I don t like,
3
SPEAKER_00
how my hair looks or I don t like this about me or whatever it may be and you keep having that thought oh yeah and then it just spirals and then that s all you feel about yourself and then it becomes your reality so that book really helped me it s it s an old school classic in this space but it convinces you that you can change your thoughts and it s not like you re lying to yourself right like I want to address this for people who think that
3
SPEAKER_00
This is not about positive thinking.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is not like looking at yourself and going, I m amazing and I m special.
3
SPEAKER_00
That stuff doesn t work either.
3
SPEAKER_00
But it s almost just tweaking your thoughts slightly to being, how do you change from being critical to just being curious?
3
SPEAKER_00
And that little switch can change everything.
3
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I think it s so important because getting to the point where you have a more positive self-talk, it s not linear.
3
SPEAKER_01
You re going to have dips and bad days and good days and bad months and good months.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s how it works.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I notice when I start to see myself slip and realize I ve been super critical of myself.
3
SPEAKER_01
And you know what?
3
SPEAKER_01
I ve had such a bad week.
3
SPEAKER_01
that s probably why I m feeling so insecure and maybe I m taking it out on other people or I m, I don t want to leave my house because I ve critiqued everything about the way I look and not focus on one positive thing at all.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, it really, that s when I noticed when I started to dip again, how important it is to really focus on being kind to yourself.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I, and I, I, I hope people really hear that because
3
SPEAKER_00
I think the reason why we re hard on others is because we re so hard on ourselves.
3
SPEAKER_00
And the reason we re so hard on ourselves is because we re so hard on others.
3
SPEAKER_00
And it s almost like if we were just able to be kinder to the stranger, our friend, our family member, then I think we d actually be able to be more kind to ourselves and vice versa as well.
3
SPEAKER_01
Even like in friendships and relationships, I think it s important if you re telling jokes back and forth to each other and maybe they re like, you know, how you joke with your friends.
3
SPEAKER_01
sometimes it can be a little mean.
3
SPEAKER_01
I ve, you know, I ve done the, why don t we try and just be really, really nice to each other for a little bit.
3
SPEAKER_01
Let s really focus on bringing each other up.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I ve actually had that conversation before.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I think it s something that sounds almost corny, like let s be super nice to each other, but it really is helpful to have the people that you love.
3
SPEAKER_01
And maybe you say it when you re a little bit down.
3
SPEAKER_01
So, you know, you re not asking for compliments.
3
SPEAKER_01
You re just asking for a more,
3
SPEAKER_01
positive environment around you.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I think that there s something so special about that.
3
SPEAKER_01
And the people around you that love you will definitely be open to it, you know?
3
SPEAKER_01
And I think that there s also something in that the people that you have around you every day, you need to
3
SPEAKER_01
Try and build up with you.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
And that s, I get, I get that people find that hard because I m also in England, we banter a lot.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so I banter a lot with my team, with my wife.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like if people see me and my wife together, they re like, they re like, you guys hate each other.
3
SPEAKER_00
Because we d go so hard.
3
SPEAKER_00
And even my friends, I just came back from London for my sister s wedding and I was there with all my boys and I was so, we re so intense with each other.
3
SPEAKER_00
And that s how close we are, like the more intense we can be.
3
SPEAKER_00
But you re right that sometimes, and it s really interesting because when you get into a one-on-one with a friend, they ll say how much they need the opposite.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like when you re with a group of people and you re all bantering, it s great.
3
SPEAKER_00
But then when you re one-on-one with someone, you hear how someone s like, you know, I need a bit of encouragement or I need to know that you think I m doing good at this or whatever it may be.
3
SPEAKER_01
And also like, don t be afraid to be the person that
3
SPEAKER_01
Is going to text all the people around you every time you see them do something i m so proud of you like you looked amazing at this or this was so cool that you did this like be that person be the annoying person.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know i wish i did it more and i should and that s something that i ll take into the rest of the day but this morning even i had a conversation with my mom and she s.
3
SPEAKER_01
got back into modeling.
3
SPEAKER_01
She s in Louisiana right now, so I haven t seen her in a couple days, and she was sending me photos, and I didn t answer my phone for a little bit, just because I ve been jet lagged and crazy, and I was like, geez, if I sent her something, I would want to hear back how proud she is of me.
3
SPEAKER_01
So let me just go over the top, because sometimes you need to be that person, especially if that s the energy that you re trying to get back.
3
SPEAKER_01
You can t get that without giving it too.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, well said.
3
SPEAKER_00
And how s that been?
3
SPEAKER_00
Because obviously that s a big part of it, right?
3
SPEAKER_00
Especially with the new docu-series as well, like the new season, like this idea of your whole family s now in the spotlight.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
And it s almost like people just lump everyone together, especially when it s a big family and everyone s got exciting things happening.
3
SPEAKER_00
And, you know, I ve obviously interviewed your whole family before, so I ve sat with them and it s wonderful.
3
SPEAKER_00
And at the same time, it s hard to find your own space and carve your own identity, right?
3
SPEAKER_00
Like that s challenging.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I think that the family dynamic is something that is really, really confusing, especially for me.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m the youngest, so you spend all your time trying to impress your older sister.
3
SPEAKER_01
You spend all your time trying to prove something to your parents, even when they re already proud of you, you know?
3
SPEAKER_01
It s really confusing.
3
SPEAKER_01
You don t know where you fit in.
3
SPEAKER_01
I live with my sister.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t live with my parents, but I still want the same support that I got when I lived with them, but I can t just go up to their room anytime I m having a bad day.
3
SPEAKER_01
They don t know what s going on with me all the time.
3
SPEAKER_01
when we re working together and on a shoot, you know, I hate to say this, but sometimes they want more stuff of me or whatever it is, or we want this for the family.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then they ll, you know, expect extra from me.
3
SPEAKER_01
And it s like, well, where do I fit in?
3
SPEAKER_01
Because I m the youngest, but sometimes they want the most.
3
SPEAKER_01
And well, you know, it gets to the point where it s like, well, they re not there for me.
3
SPEAKER_01
And it s like, well, you know what?
3
SPEAKER_01
Everyone s doing their own stuff.
3
SPEAKER_01
Everyone has their own stuff going on.
3
SPEAKER_01
Dixie has music, my mom s modeling, my dad s doing business stuff.
3
SPEAKER_01
There s so much going on for all of us at the same time.
3
SPEAKER_01
It can get hard to celebrate every single achievement when there s just...
3
SPEAKER_01
four of us all doing different things all at the same time, running from place to place, traveling.
3
SPEAKER_01
We re still figuring that out now.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think while filming season three, our entire family was going through a lot mentally and with work, so it s hard to watch back those episodes because
3
SPEAKER_01
We were just all in such a different place and so confused at where we all stand and taking it out on each other, which I think is probably the biggest regret I have through all of this with my family is like, we need to have each other s backs through everything.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because, you know, through it all, you work with people, you make friends, whatever, you have to have faith
4
SPEAKER_00
family or people that you ve kind of adopted as family that are there to support you when there s no cameras or when there s no likes or followers, anything.
4
SPEAKER_00
You need that.
4
SPEAKER_00
And the hardest time for all of us was when we didn t have each other to lean on.
4
SPEAKER_00
And that is really, really shown in season three.
4
SPEAKER_00
And even when I see clips, I m like,
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t want to see it at all.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like that was such a hard time for all of us.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it s so embarrassing at times to see that, like people posting it, reposting it, edits of it, edits of times where I was like really, really, really struggling and hearing people.
4
SPEAKER_00
She s so dramatic.
4
SPEAKER_00
You hear a 10th of what was actually going on, you know?
4
SPEAKER_00
So it s, it s a lot or things are, you know, maybe I was upset about one thing, but
4
SPEAKER_00
in the show it looks like I m upset about something else it s like a whole bunch of stuff that s just I don t even want to pay attention to it.
4
SPEAKER_03
It must be so challenging like I ve always I ve always thought about it like having a show where every one of your feelings and emotions is being documented
4
SPEAKER_03
and then broadcast sounds like the most challenging thing ever.
4
SPEAKER_03
It s a lot.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
It s like, even just that as a premise, and I know it s been around forever and, you know, families have been followed forever and there s this format has been around forever, but I m like, it doesn t get easier because of that, because
4
SPEAKER_03
As humans, we love to watch drama.
4
SPEAKER_03
We love to watch the gossip.
4
SPEAKER_03
We want to see the scoop.
4
SPEAKER_03
The show has, like, twists and changes and, you know, characters that are upset at each other.
4
SPEAKER_03
And you have all of this going on, but then behind all of that, there s a real human with real emotions trying to figure it all out.
4
SPEAKER_03
Have you been able to separate, like, yourself and then the character on the show, too?
4
SPEAKER_03
Like, do you feel, or do you feel that s just so interrelated that you re like,
4
SPEAKER_00
in ways yes for sure but like people don t realize when you re filming sometimes you forget you have a mic on and you say something and you re like it really wasn t that deep like yeah it s not that important sometimes you re really really upset or you re maybe mentally struggling a little bit and you don t have
4
SPEAKER_00
a reason because sometimes you don t need a reason.
4
SPEAKER_00
Sometimes you just feel really bad and that happens.
4
SPEAKER_00
So you go through these, well, why are you?
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, what was happening?
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, was it this person s fault?
4
SPEAKER_00
And it s like, I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was just really feeling bad and I didn t have a handle on it and I had to film.
4
SPEAKER_00
So, you know, it s like, I don t get a choice of how I
4
SPEAKER_00
how I go into filming, you know, I can try and go in with a positive mindset, but after a couple hours, you know, like I m tired and you see how maybe I was really feeling that day.
4
SPEAKER_00
Maybe it s nothing that was at all in the show.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like people watching have no idea, but it is so many real emotions that it s really, really hard to separate the two, but hopefully, you know, if another season happens, I ll be able to do that.
4
SPEAKER_03
And why did you feel though in season three that it got harder with family than easier?
4
SPEAKER_03
Like you d hoped that season three like made it easier, but why do you think it got harder?
4
SPEAKER_03
Is it just that everyone s more busy now or?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think we were just all going through so much individually and constantly taking it out on each other.
4
SPEAKER_00
And you know, that s building blocks to working with your family.
4
SPEAKER_00
No family that works together is perfect all the time.
4
SPEAKER_00
And if you say you are, you are so wrong.
4
SPEAKER_00
Especially when, you know, we talk about it all the time, like family is everything, but when you re in those moments where you re like, I m pissed at this person in my family because of, maybe it s something stupid, but to me, it s like, it feels like a lot.
4
SPEAKER_00
It feels like the entire world on my shoulders for maybe something that isn t that big of a deal, but it feels like that to me, you know, it s just,
4
SPEAKER_00
we were all going through so much at the same time that there was no way that these cameras weren t going to catch it.
4
SPEAKER_03
It sounds like even, even though obviously you said that, you know, when you re a kid, you still want your family to take care of you.
4
SPEAKER_03
And obviously now you re in a position where obviously you take care of yourself, you, you live with your sister, but what would you say has been the biggest skills you ve learned in how to take care of yourself when you don t have your family to rely on?
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t even know.
4
SPEAKER_00
I feel like that s something that is so confusing to me still.
4
SPEAKER_00
I feel so independent because, you know, I m traveling without any of my friends or family.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m on these big work calls.
4
SPEAKER_00
I have no training for this.
4
SPEAKER_00
I didn t even finish high school.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know how to do this.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if I m making the right decision.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if this is good or bad.
4
SPEAKER_00
I still call my dad all the time and I m like, okay, but seriously, what do you think about this?
4
SPEAKER_00
Like, this sounds not that cool to me, but apparently it s really, like, I have no idea how this works.
4
SPEAKER_00
And, you know, the more I do it, the more I get comfortable and learn, but I missed so much of the normal growing up, going to college and then coming back for Thanksgiving or Christmas or whatever it is that
4
SPEAKER_00
I kind of had to race to figure it out because it was one day you re a kid and you re in high school and you have no responsibilities and now you have people that are working for you and you re responsible for them and you re responsible for everything that you do and you re not allowed to mess up, but I m 16.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know how to not mess up.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know anything.
4
SPEAKER_00
How am I supposed to learn that without having these real-life experiences?
4
SPEAKER_00
So I think the more as time goes on and the more I m put in these situations where I have to be independent and a grown-up, the easier it gets.
4
SPEAKER_00
But it s still something that I really have to figure out in each individual situation.
4
SPEAKER_03
I m 36 and I still don t know how not to mess up.
4
SPEAKER_03
It s just because I think what we don t realize is you ve got yourself and your identity, like you as an individual, which is always changing.
4
SPEAKER_03
So whether you re 36 or whether you re 19, you re still dealing with that.
4
SPEAKER_03
On top of that, you ve now got the industry is always changing.
4
SPEAKER_03
So like the platforms are changing and the business is changing and the social, whatever, all of that s always changing.
4
SPEAKER_03
So you ve never done it before and most people have never done it before.
4
SPEAKER_03
So no matter how smart someone was five months ago, everything s changed.
4
SPEAKER_03
And so everything s being updated.
4
SPEAKER_03
And then on top of all of that, you ve got everyone around you who s constantly changing and growing and evolving.
4
SPEAKER_03
And so it s so hard to ever feel you ever have
4
SPEAKER_03
a handle on, on all areas of your life.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
And so definitely as a 16 year old, now a 19 year old, like it s, it s so much to learn quickly.
4
SPEAKER_03
And I think you had your, you recently had your prom or you did your prom here, right?
4
SPEAKER_03
Like you.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I had, I had two, we did one on the show and then I went to my high school prom back in my hometown.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay, cool.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Which was really fun.
4
SPEAKER_00
And like the bit of senior year that I got to have, which was really nice because I didn t get that
4
SPEAKER_00
And a lot of kids didn t during COVID and everything.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I m definitely not the only person feeling like this.
4
SPEAKER_00
A lot of freshmen, sophomore year of college, people didn t get that.
4
SPEAKER_00
People didn t get that very, very integral part of growing up or whether it s your first job.
4
SPEAKER_00
This was my first job.
4
SPEAKER_00
I had never had any true responsibility before.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I don t know how and there s no rule book to say, well, this is how you be an adult.
4
SPEAKER_00
So it s kind of just figuring it out and messing up along the way.
4
SPEAKER_00
But when you mess up and you have so many people telling you how you messed up and how that s horrible and you re doing all of these things wrong, you re like, yeah, I know, but this is all I know how to do.
4
SPEAKER_00
You kind of just.
4
SPEAKER_00
every day learn a little bit and just continue to do your best because that s all you can do.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
And do you know what?
4
SPEAKER_03
It s interesting because we re hearing that from you and I think everyone who s listening right now is going, that s me too.
4
SPEAKER_03
Like, you know, I think it doesn t matter how old you are or how wise you are or how smart or whether you have your own business or you don t.
4
SPEAKER_03
We re just all feeling that way because
4
SPEAKER_03
everyone is just trying to do their best.
4
SPEAKER_03
And sometimes their best is not good enough for everyone else, but that s all they could give.
4
SPEAKER_03
And I feel that for anyone and everyone today.
4
SPEAKER_03
And so I think what you re saying resonates or feels very relatable, at least even to me.
4
SPEAKER_03
And I m sure everyone who s listening is thinking that as well.
4
SPEAKER_03
Like I m just trying.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
And that s like the normal human experience.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Guess what, Mango?
4
SPEAKER_02
What s that, Will?
4
SPEAKER_02
So iHeart is giving us a whole minute to promote our podcast, Part-Time Genius.
4
SPEAKER_01
I know.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s why I spent my whole week composing a haiku for the occasion.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s about my emotional journey in podcasting over the last seven years, and it s called Earthquake House.
4
SPEAKER_02
Mango, I m going to cut you off right there.
4
SPEAKER_02
Why don t we just tell people about our show instead?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s a better idea.
4
SPEAKER_01
So every week on Part-Time Genius, we feed our curiosity by answering the world s
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most important questions.
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Things like, when did America start dialing 911?
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Is William Shatner s best acting work in Esperanto?
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Also, what happened to Esperanto?
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Plus we cover questions like, how Chinese is your Chinese food?
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How do dollar stores stay in business?
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And of course, is there an Illuminati of cheese?
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There absolutely is, and we are risking our lives by talking about it.
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But if you love mind-blowing facts, incredible history, and really bad jokes, make your brains happy and tune in to Part-Time Genius.
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Listen to Part-Time Genius on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
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When the Taliban banned music in Afghanistan, millions were plunged into silence.
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Radios were smashed.
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Cassettes burned.
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You could be beaten or jailed or killed for breaking the rules.
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And yet, Afghans did it anyway.
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This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.
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You re free completely.
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No one is there to destroy you.
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I m John Legend.
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Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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A new season of Bridgerton is here.
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And with it, a new season of Bridgerton, the official podcast.
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And this season, we are bringing fans even deeper into the ton.
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Colin Bridgerton has returned from his travels abroad.
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We re discussing it all.
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Subscribe to catch a new episode every Thursday.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I definitely get on myself about it.
5
SPEAKER_01
But
5
SPEAKER_01
Everyone s just doing their best.
5
SPEAKER_01
My parents are still figuring out who they are.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s ever-changing.
5
SPEAKER_01
My grandmother, before she passed, started to get a handle on all of the social media stuff and how to watch me.
5
SPEAKER_01
She would watch YouTube videos or see things online, articles, and she would be like, I heard you did this.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, well, that s not true.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s just an article.
5
SPEAKER_01
And she s like, no, no, no, but I saw it in the press.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I know, but it s not true.
5
SPEAKER_01
So we had to get a handle on that.
5
SPEAKER_01
But she was changing, and she was evolving with the times, and she didn t know how it worked.
5
SPEAKER_01
And she was a lot older and still figuring out who she is.
5
SPEAKER_01
And, well, how do I do this?
5
SPEAKER_01
And I want to watch you, but I have to discover this whole new thing.
5
SPEAKER_01
Everyone is learning something.
5
SPEAKER_01
she was just doing her best to watch her grandchildren on social media.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s something that is so cute and something that seems so simple to me, like, well, just download TikTok and watch my videos, you know?
5
SPEAKER_01
But to her, it was like this whole new thing that she has to learn.
5
SPEAKER_01
I think once you realize that literally everyone is just trying to do their best to get to the next day,
5
SPEAKER_01
You can be a lot easier on yourself but also a lot easier on everyone around you.
5
SPEAKER_02
And also even just what you said about your grandmother like learning about how she s reading something that sounds so true and you re like no it didn t happen that way.
5
SPEAKER_02
And it s funny because I go through similar things with me and my family.
5
SPEAKER_02
So my parents will read an article about me or whatever, and they ll get really upset for me, or they ll get offended for me because there s something in it that they don t like or whatever it is.
5
SPEAKER_02
Or there s something said about the family, which you must have to deal with way more than I do, because your family s in the spotlight too.
5
SPEAKER_02
But then they re like, oh, well, why did they say that about the family and this or that?
5
SPEAKER_02
And I m like,
5
SPEAKER_02
I didn t say anything.
5
SPEAKER_02
Like, you know, it s almost like, I didn t even talk about that.
5
SPEAKER_02
I didn t mention anything.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s just someone coming up with something.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
And I can t imagine.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s like the clickbait articles where I m like, I m telling you that this isn t real.
5
SPEAKER_01
Or she d like see someone online and she s like, I don t like them.
5
SPEAKER_01
Why?
5
SPEAKER_01
They said something about you three years ago.
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, they re my friends now.
5
SPEAKER_01
She s like, I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t like them.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s like,
5
SPEAKER_01
all right you re gonna think whatever you think like that s fine and she was so cute and so so supportive like she spent all day on her ipad just watching youtube compilations of my tiktoks and every time i see her she d be like you need to stop cursing on the internet i was like i know i know
5
SPEAKER_02
That s so sweet.
5
SPEAKER_02
That s so funny.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I mean, and nice of you not to block her from those videos.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah, even my other grandma, she like still swipes up on all my stories.
5
SPEAKER_01
She s like, you look great.
5
SPEAKER_01
Or she d reply to fan pages.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like a lot of people s grandparents, I hear this all the time from all the social media kids.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s like, my grandma responds to my fan pages thinking they re me.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, but it s so, like, it s so sweet and I love it.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I mean, my grandma, that s my grandma on my dad s side, like, she still texts me all the time, like, you look so good in this or this is so cool.
5
SPEAKER_01
Or anytime I do anything where it s like something that she would like, I ll like send her a photo.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know, she s just proud.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know, that s also a good person to talk to that s just like always going to be proud of me, which is really nice to have.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, definitely.
5
SPEAKER_02
And to allow that in.
5
SPEAKER_02
Do you find that you ve found like, I know you re close with Markel, who I love too.
5
SPEAKER_02
I love Markel s energy.
5
SPEAKER_02
I ve only met him a couple of times, but he s so awesome.
5
SPEAKER_02
Have you found that you ve got a good group of friends around you in the industry?
5
SPEAKER_02
Because what I ve found is that
5
SPEAKER_02
So I have a bunch of great friends back in London who are like my best friends, like my best man at my wedding and like my closest friends that I grew up with.
5
SPEAKER_02
And I speak to them like, I speak to my best friend like three times a week still because it s so important to me and I need it.
5
SPEAKER_02
And at the same time, I also need friends who are in the industry because there are certain things that we can all understand about the industry, kind of like the idea of
5
SPEAKER_02
yeah, don t trust the press on that and whatever, because they already know that because they go through the same stuff.
5
SPEAKER_02
Do you find, it sounds like you have a great group of friends back at home.
5
SPEAKER_02
Do you find that you ve also found good friends in the industry that you can kind of compare notes with a bit too and be like, oh, I just went through that and this is how I m feeling?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, definitely.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, Markel s like, he s family to me.
5
SPEAKER_01
He has shown so much to me just as a person, whether it s talking to me one-on-one or defending me online or, you know,
5
SPEAKER_01
defending me to the people around him.
5
SPEAKER_01
He is someone that every person that meets him has so much amazing things to say about him and I m so thankful that I have him in my life.
5
SPEAKER_01
Whether it s like we re doing nothing or we re out with a bunch of people and we want to have a dance party in the middle of the dance floor and it s just us two, we ll do it.
5
SPEAKER_01
in the middle of a restaurant, whatever it is, I love that.
5
SPEAKER_01
But I ve definitely found a lot of people that are in the industry and a lot of the friendships that I have, I tend to keep quiet about.
5
SPEAKER_01
And a lot of the friendships that I have, I ve met them in very, very weird ways because how am I supposed to meet people?
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t go out super often.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t
5
SPEAKER_01
I m not usually around people my own age, like a lot of my friends that I met, they were actually dancers at the Kids  Choice Awards, and we just clicked, and I started hanging out with them, and I really liked them, and they re really cool people, and they re in an industry that I m so fascinated by.
5
SPEAKER_01
And yeah, they do so much similar things to me, but it s also different.
5
SPEAKER_01
I think that that s really special and after meeting them it was
5
SPEAKER_01
really refreshing to be around people my own age and also just have people that are hardworking and determined and not competitive with me at all and just happy to see me happy and I can have fun with whether we re filming or not, you know?
5
SPEAKER_01
But even like my boyfriend, he s in the industry and, you know, we tend to handle things a little bit differently, but sometimes I,
5
SPEAKER_01
I have to be like, it s not worth it.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know, we don t have to respond.
5
SPEAKER_01
We don t have to do anything like it s not worth it.
5
SPEAKER_01
I know you, you know me, whether people are saying things about me or people are saying things about our relationship, you know, having each other.
6
SPEAKER_01
to kind of navigate that on our own is really nice because it s also what two 19-year-olds in a relationship have their lives together, you know?
6
SPEAKER_01
There s ups and downs like
6
SPEAKER_01
whether I m working all the time or he s working all the time or I m traveling or whatever it is.
6
SPEAKER_01
There s always so much going on that can so easily put a strain on a relationship and also just coming into adulthood with two teenagers that have no idea what they re doing and just trying their best.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s been really confusing to navigate, but also really refreshing to have someone else there that s like,
6
SPEAKER_01
just trying to figure it out day by day.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s almost, yeah, it s almost easier in one sense because you have someone to bounce it off of.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
As opposed to.
6
SPEAKER_01
You re like, am I crazy?
6
SPEAKER_01
Are you crazy?
6
SPEAKER_01
Is this like, is this okay?
6
SPEAKER_01
You know?
6
SPEAKER_01
So it s, it s really nice.
6
SPEAKER_00
Do you, do you think the hardest part about success and fame is having a relationship in the public eye?
6
SPEAKER_00
Would you say that that s the hardest part in terms of when it comes to your relationships or that s not?
6
SPEAKER_01
Sometimes I feel like,
6
SPEAKER_01
you know, when two people that are in a relationship have like
6
SPEAKER_01
an off week or whatever, there can be the whole, this person didn t like their photo, or they haven t posted together, they re broken up, or this person s starting a rumor.
6
SPEAKER_01
Even if you two are struggling, that s for you to go through and handle it however s appropriate, whether you guys part ways or continue to work through things together.
6
SPEAKER_01
No relationship is perfect ever.
6
SPEAKER_01
You have moments where so much is going on.
6
SPEAKER_01
During Dancing with the Stars,
6
SPEAKER_01
I was dancing seven days a week.
6
SPEAKER_01
I was never home.
6
SPEAKER_01
He was like, I felt like I didn t have a girlfriend and that was really hard.
6
SPEAKER_01
It was hard on my parents, you know, like it s a lot.
6
SPEAKER_01
And especially for two young teenagers to go through, like, we don t, we don t know how to do this.
6
SPEAKER_01
No one knows how to do this.
6
SPEAKER_01
So we re just doing our best and there s ups and downs, but we work through it.
6
SPEAKER_01
And that s just being a person, you know,
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, absolutely.
6
SPEAKER_00
And just the idea of, it is interesting when you ve got two people who have crazy lives and have different journeys and have different, you know, commitments and family commitments, and there s just so much going on to keep up with it all.
6
SPEAKER_00
What have you found, what has helped you both kind of keep up with each other s schedules and each other s lives?
6
SPEAKER_00
Because that s not going to change, at least not right now.
6
SPEAKER_00
And so what has helped, what has worked?
6
SPEAKER_01
I think we ve obviously talked about this so much just as a whole.
6
SPEAKER_01
I was just gone for almost two weeks and we were on different time zones just trying to text and update each other, but it s figuring out what each other needs.
6
SPEAKER_01
If he wants me to keep him updated, then I ll keep him updated because that s what he needs.
6
SPEAKER_01
If I need him to
6
SPEAKER_01
tell me what s going on in his week so I don t feel left out.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s totally cool.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s what I need.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s just having that conversation and realizing that people s needs change and adapting with that and not feeling like, well, I don t want to make him upset.
6
SPEAKER_01
He s working a lot and I know he s super busy.
6
SPEAKER_01
I need a shoulder to lean on.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s also having the conversation.
6
SPEAKER_01
Sometimes I ll literally say, I m really, really sensitive right now.
6
SPEAKER_01
I just need some extra support.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then he knows to, well, she needs this right now.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s totally cool.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s two people in a relationship doing whatever they can to make the other person happy.
6
SPEAKER_01
Just normal human things.
6
SPEAKER_01
definitely not worrying about what anyone online has to say, it s so not worth it.
6
SPEAKER_01
It really isn t because 99% of these people are looking for you to respond.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like even today, I woke up to some
6
SPEAKER_01
crazy person talking about me in like the most wildly disrespectful ways like I ve really seen in a long time.
6
SPEAKER_01
And the thing is like me and this person were at an event together and this person introduced themselves.
6
SPEAKER_01
I introduced myself.
6
SPEAKER_01
We tried to be nice.
6
SPEAKER_01
This kid was not nice to me and then went and talked very poorly on me.
6
SPEAKER_01
And Landon s like, well, let me call this kid.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, it s not that big of a deal.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like it s not.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s what he s looking for.
6
SPEAKER_01
Is it taking everything in me not to respond or not to text him?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but I know if I text him, he s going to post it and that s going to be a thing and he s going to get exactly what he wants me to respond and give in to whatever story he wants to portray to the people that watch him.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s not my problem.
6
SPEAKER_01
I know who I am and that s good enough for me.
6
SPEAKER_01
It doesn t matter.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
And it s so hard to get to that point, but it s so liberating when you do like, it s so freeing when you realize that where you re like actually not responding is not getting caught up in someone else s thing.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
And like, then it just gives people an opportunity to, well, if I say this about her, then she s going to respond.
6
SPEAKER_01
And it s like, I don t have time to respond to every little thing that people have to say about me.
6
SPEAKER_01
And it, it takes so much.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s so draining to have to see that.
6
SPEAKER_01
And the more you talk about it, the more your fans talk about it and people in the press talk about it.
6
SPEAKER_01
And it s like, for what reason?
6
SPEAKER_01
Because I was angry at this kid who I met once.
6
SPEAKER_01
Who cares?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
And it s hard when the person you re in a relationship with wants to defend you too.
6
SPEAKER_01
And he s so sweet.
6
SPEAKER_01
He is so quick to defend me in every way possible.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I just have to be like, it s cool.
6
SPEAKER_01
I feel like I tell him that all the time because he gets so upset whenever people have something negative to say about me or his family.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I mean, I think,
6
SPEAKER_01
I definitely told him like many, many times, it s cool.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like it s totally fine.
6
SPEAKER_01
They re going to say it no matter what.
6
SPEAKER_01
And even if you respond and are like, well, this isn t true because this is this, they re not, they re, they already read it and they think what they think about you.
6
SPEAKER_01
They re not going to change their minds.
6
SPEAKER_01
You know, you re arguing with people that don t care what you have to say.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s already lost.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like, yeah, it s, it s a lose-lose situation.
6
SPEAKER_00
So moving on is the best thing you can do.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, no.
6
SPEAKER_00
And it s wonderful to be with someone and have that with someone who, you know, cares about you that deeply.
6
SPEAKER_00
And my wife s like that.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like my wife gets very defensive about me and like can get really activated and she gets really upset for me and whatever it may be.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I, I really always appreciate that because I can see that she knows who I am and that s kind of what it goes back to.
6
SPEAKER_00
I ll always say the same thing to her.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m like, I m just glad I have someone who knows who I am.
6
SPEAKER_01
Especially like when someone cares about you like that to see you upset because of something and not being able to fix the problem because they just want to see you happy.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like I understand how
6
SPEAKER_01
upset that might make you, you know?
6
SPEAKER_01
And I, I feel bad cause sometimes I feel like I drag him into the drama just because of the relationship.
6
SPEAKER_01
But I think knowing that, you know, we have each other and I can tell him like, this was, this actually really hurt my feelings today.
6
SPEAKER_01
And, and it was, it was a lot and I just need some comfort and I need you to be by my side and that s good enough for me, you know?
6
SPEAKER_00
Definitely, definitely.
6
SPEAKER_00
Charli, what are you excited about right now?
6
SPEAKER_00
Like what s kind of like, you know, you ve done so many amazing things and I feel like this journey that you re saying with your identity of like getting to know yourself better.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
You ve done so many things and I m guessing some of them you re like, oh yeah, that was Charli D Amelio and then this is Charli.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s like, what is Charli like really excited about or curious about or passionate about?
6
SPEAKER_00
Or like what s coming up where you re like, oh, I really want to try that out or learn that or whatever, whatever it may be like open for you.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay, I think first thing that I m most excited about is my dogs.
6
SPEAKER_01
I have a puppy.
6
SPEAKER_01
I know I sound so lame, but I have a puppy.
6
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I m not laughing because I think it s lame.
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I m laughing because it s cute.
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It s just like, you re going to have to open up a dog shelter or something.
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I know, I m like in love with her.
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I have my like older dog who s nine.
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She s literally me as a dog and I m obsessed with her.
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She s the most adorable dog ever.
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She s a literal human.
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But then I have this puppy that Lana and I adopted from Nashville and she s like
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she was abandoned and she was like, it was a horrible story.
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And it really like pulled at my heartstrings and I was like, okay, I need to take you home now.
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Like I will take care of you.
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I love you.
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And like watching her grow up and being responsible for her, I think has been very refreshing to me because my older dog, she s, you know, she s very self-sufficient.
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She s also very lazy.
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So I ll be up in the morning and she ll wake up two hours later, ready to be fed.
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Like she is not,
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She has her own schedule and I love that about her because that s how I raised her.
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She s a very like laid-back dog, can have all the lights on and she s sleeping like I love that but this puppy you
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you have to train her, it s very specific and these formative puppy years are so important to who this dog becomes.
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There s no bad dogs, there s only bad dog owners.
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So, I just like am loving this journey of truly, because you know, I got my dog nine years ago, I was 10.
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I wasn t actually raising her and now I m getting the chance to raise a dog and it s really, really exciting and special and seeing the two of them together is like my favorite thing ever.
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I think something else that I m excited for is I have a dance room in my garage.
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So I love just going down there any time of the day, whether it s four in the morning or 1 p.m.
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and just like letting go and being open with myself and using movement as therapy and also getting a little bit of a workout in, you know, like being productive.
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I love that.
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And probably
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experimenting more with my style.
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That s something that I ve just recently started to get into.
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I think Landon and my sister had a lot to do with that because I love the way that they put together outfits.
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I think that they both have really good styles and it comes very natural to them.
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And to me, it s a lot harder because I always go for what I know instead of stepping out of the box, but I m trying.
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So that s something exciting and it s fun to experiment, you know?
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I love how personal all those were, those were great, they were great choices.
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Thank you.
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Yeah, I love how none of them were career related and like none of them were work related and that s awesome because I can tell that you ve really started carving those two things as separate.
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Yeah, work-wise, you know.
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Using my voice more online.
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I think that, you know, even doing a podcast is something very outside of my comfort zone.
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A lot of my career has been not talking.
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So it s been very hard for me to get into using my voice and figuring out what do I want to say, especially when you don t know yourself, how do you answer questions?
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I don t, you can t just say I don t know for everything.
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So that s something that s been special.
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And I ve been trying to make more content for my fans and trying to use my voice more and like even little things, finishing a get ready with me, which I film 50 of them.
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And I post one of them, like trying to get more into it and go back to the reason why I started social media, because I like it.
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And I m finally at a point where I like it again, which is really refreshing and nice.
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It doesn t feel like work.
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Mm, mm, I love that.
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And what s been, what is that when you say you wanna use your voice and even doing the podcast today, like you coming on today and being open and trusting me and trusting this space and just being vulnerable with the idea of, like you said, I don t know, I m trying to figure out who I am.
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Yeah.
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And being okay with that, which I think, by the way, for a 19 year old is completely normal and wonderful and good.
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And like, I think that s amazing that you wanna spend
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this time in your life, figuring out who you are.
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I think it s the best investment you could ever make.
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I m so happy that you re doing it.
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I m hoping that you take your whole audience and community on a journey to do it for themselves, because you re going to save so many people from so many stressful 20 to 30-year-old journeys, right?
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Literally, you can either do it now, or you can do it when you re 30.
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And if you do it now, you re going to help so many people.
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Is that kind of like, when you say using your voice, is that the type of journey you want people to go on with you or are you still figuring out what that journey it is that you want people to go on with you?
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Yeah.
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As of right now, it s literally just talking, talking online, just actually using my voice, you know, for so long it was a song and no words.
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Like it sounds so little, but just talking.
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I feel like that s something that is, which is so weird, but it s so outside of my comfort zone and I feel so
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like we re doing it, but has honestly been really refreshing for me because, you know, I m growing up and a part of growing up is being confident with what you have to say and using your words and just talking with, you know, a little bit of purpose.
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And I m growing up, but also so are all of the people that are watching me.
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And I think bringing them on that journey of this is literally just what I m doing.
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I m not talking about anything that s really of any importance sometimes.
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Sometimes I m just talking, but that s what I need to do to move to this next step of my life, to hopefully talk about something important and talk about what matters to me.
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I think that that s, this is a very integral step of
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growing up.
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I think that s really smart.
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I genuinely do.
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I think that takes a lot of courage to even say that.
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I don t think it s, I don t think it s like insignificant at all.
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I think it, it makes a lot of sense to me that in order for you to stand for something, you need to get to a point where you just feel comfortable being open and sharing.
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Yeah.
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And so much of the beginning few years of this journey, every time I talked,
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someone had something to say and you get canceled every five seconds.
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That was what was happening to me for so long.
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Anytime I opened my mouth, so I just stopped talking.
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I stopped saying anything that was important to me.
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I stopped doing anything that was outside of the box that I was put in where I couldn t go wrong if I just didn t do anything.
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And I have opinions, I have thoughts, I have things I like, I have things I don t like.
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Why can t I just say it?
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Who is stopping me?
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The people that actually care what I have to say, they re going to support me even if they disagree.
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Whether it s, I really like this outfit and they don t, that s cool, they respect my opinion, I respect theirs, that s awesome.
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The people that don t like me, they re not gonna like me no matter what.
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They didn t like me when I wasn t saying anything, they re not gonna like me now, that s fine.
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I m not making my videos for them.
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Yeah, definitely.
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When you say you still want to get to know who you are and your identity, what are the parts that you re like, I m still just trying to figure this out, or this part I m like really curious about, I m trying to learn about this about myself, but I don t know what it is.
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What are those parts of yourself?
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Yeah, I think a lot of it has to do with the way that I present myself, whether it s how do I like my makeup done, how do I like to dress, how do I like to look, how do I like to show myself to other people, not just what is
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going on at the moment.
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How do I like to smell?
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I like Born Dreamer.
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I know I like that.
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And let s discover for future with Born Dreamer, what else do I like?
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Whatever I know I like, go a little bit deeper.
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And something so simple, I ve been doing more colors with my nails, which is so random and so small.
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It s your nails.
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People get their nails done all the time, but I did bright green and I thought about that for three weeks before I did it.
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And like, why?
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I enjoyed it.
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I liked the color.
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I wanted it on my nails.
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It made me happy.
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Every time I saw them, I was like, I did that.
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That was something different.
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I normally do nude.
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Let s do something fun.
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Like that little thing was so much fun for me and it brought me so much happiness and I would match this color to this and it s just so fun.
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Why am I robbing myself of fun?
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Because I don t want to put myself out there.
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Yeah, good for you.
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Honestly, like, you re literally doing all the practical steps that it takes to build your values.
7
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Yeah.
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And that s what it is.
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All of these little habits, for anyone who s listening, all these little habits and these little changes that you re making, they turn into values that you appreciate about yourself.
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So a value could be, and I m not putting a value on you, I m just throwing it out there for a reflection, but a value could be, I like freedom or I like self-expression or I like,
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random can be a value or whatever it may be.
7
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And like, and then those values become things you can use in the future for how you make decisions.
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Now, when you make, so one of my values has always been to take risks.
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I feel like I took risks ever since I was 14, 18, 21.
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And I ve noticed that pattern in my life.
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And so now when I m taking a risk, I m not that scared anymore because I ve always taken risks my whole life.
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And I love how
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When I first took a risk, I didn t even know what a risk was, like when I was 14 years old or 18, I just did it.
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And now when I look back, I m like, oh no, that s a skill I have now.
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And so it s almost like when you re doing all these things, you re just collecting lots of different like skills.
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And then one day they ll evolve into values, which will form an identity.
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And then you ll be able to be like, these are the three things that I value and that really matter to me.
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and you know I love that you I love how simple you ve made it for yourself and I love how you ve broken it down because I think a lot of us try to like leapfrog to like this is who I am now and we almost want the the performance part before the work part and it s like I feel like you re doing the work part.
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Yeah.
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And it s it s great to watch it s really great to see.
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Thank you.
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Charlie what have I not asked you about that you re like I really want to share this so this has been on my
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heart or my mind or like something you want to talk about that you re like, this is what I want to use my voice for and you haven t asked me about it or it just didn t come up.
8
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Hey everyone, this is Molly and Matt and we re the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How To Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.
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It s a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting.
8
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like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.
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We re back with season two of the podcast, which means more opportunities to glow up and become a more responsible and better adult, one life lesson at a time.
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And let me just tell you, this show is just as much for us as it is for you.
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So let s figure this stuff out together.
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This season, we re going to talk about whether or not we re financially and emotionally ready for dog ownership.
8
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We re going to figure out the benefits of a high yield savings account.
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And what exactly are the duties of being a member of the wedding party?
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All that plus so much more.
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Let s learn about all of it and then some.
8
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Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Something for me that I think is very interesting, which is very random and has nothing to do with my career, my personal life or anything.
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I love the San Diego Safari Park, which is so random, but I ve recently found, I watched this like whole video on it, this like very specific thing that you have to go through a lot of steps to be able to get it for like a zoo or aquarium or anything.
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But it s a certificate that shows if it s
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humane to the animals and learning about that has been really interesting because I love going there and I love how free the animals are and how it s just like they are in the wild and how they help the animals and that s definitely something that I want to get more into is like figuring out exactly what it is and going to more places like that and you know not appreciating places like SeaWorld that treat their animals horribly you know like little things like that that I think is so interesting because I love animals
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So that was something.
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I need to find the name of exactly what that little thing is, but it s really cool.
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And to get that, you have to go through a lot of work and every place is constantly trying to outdo each other.
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So the bar is constantly being raised, which I think is so interesting.
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And I love that.
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It s the quality of how they treat the animals there.
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And they have to pass a certain number of, right, right, right, wow.
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Yeah, so that s really cool and something random that I discovered.
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No, I love that, yeah.
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My wife s a big fan of,
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visiting animals as much as we can.
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And so she s, she s kind of always led that.
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And we ve gone to some of the randomest places in, in LA because of her, but her relationship with animals is really beautiful.
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And she can like, you know, start a relationship with, you know, yeah.
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And it s really special to watch.
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And it s really interesting because we went to a couple last year and she d always come back really like even more calm and even more just still.
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And, and I, and it was really beautiful to see just how
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when you re connected to nature and we are nature and, you know, we re a part of that, but now we feel so disconnected from it.
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But animals are such a great way of reconnecting.
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What, what do you find, I guess, fulfilling or meaningful about being, obviously your dogs, but with these animals, like, what is it about it for you specifically that you appreciate about it?
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I think it s just so peaceful and to learn so much.
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Like when you go to these places, I will come back only talking about animal facts for like a month and I love it.
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And sometimes people are like, that s like, where did you even come up with that?
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But I think it s so cool and so interesting to see all of these animals in
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with each other and how they respond to things.
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And I love places where it s like, if they re out and you see them, that s great.
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If not, they don t feel like being out.
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That s just how it is.
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I just think it s so interesting.
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And I literally, I ve been to the San Diego Safari twice.
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And the first time, talked about animal facts for like two months.
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The second time, leading up to going, that was all I could talk about.
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And I brought
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I got so many other people excited about it because it was like, but you don t understand how cool it is.
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Like you are 20 feet away from a cheetah with like, there s no big fence up, you know, like it s crazy just to see these animals just living, not worried about anything that is so materialistic or anything like that.
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Like, I don t know, I just find so much joy in it.
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Yeah, yeah, definitely.
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Have you been to anywhere in Africa before?
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haven t and I really want to go.
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I ve like, I ve seen so many videos and so many of my friends have gone and it just seems so cool.
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Yeah, I ve talked about this before on the podcast, but I m sharing it because it s natural in our conversation.
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I went to Rwanda last year.
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Wow.
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And Rwanda reveres gorillas.
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So literally every time there s a new gorilla in Rwanda, the community comes together and they name it and they have this whole ceremony for it.
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And so they ve had these
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uh, gorilla sanctuaries for years.
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And so same as what you re saying, there s no fences or walls or whatever.
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It s basically the mountains and you take treks into the mountains and you discover gorilla in their natural habitat and there s families.
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So we followed, we, I went three days and one of the days we discovered a family that had like 20 gorillas in it.
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Then we discovered another one and you get to see the babies and the adults.
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And it was easily one of my favorite things I ve done in my entire life.
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And
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it was just the most magical experience because you re truly in nature, the animals are in their habitats, you re going into their home.
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They re so respectful and let you do your thing and at the same time you get to learn about them in this really intimate way.
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It was beautiful to just see how they took care of the kids, how the kids played around, how they were defensive if we got too close, just everything about them.
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the guides that we had said that you can also go and walk.
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So this was walking with gorillas, but they said you could go walk with elephants too.
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And me and my wife have been talking about doing that.
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We re like, I d love to go walk with elephants.
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Like how cool would that be?
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And so there s all these incredible experiences out there and you know, whether it s a local safari or whether it s being able to go there and have this experience, I definitely feel
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And my other team, someone on my team s been talking about going to see the Great Migration, which is what, so the easy version of it, I m giving a very bad explanation, but just to make it relatable for everyone, it s basically what happens in The Lion King when all the wildebeest are like running across.
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So that s the Great Migration where they re like stampeding across the stampede where Mufasa unfortunately dies.
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Like that moment is what the Great Migration is and it happens every single year.
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That s so cool.
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So yeah, anyway, I m, I m getting carried away too, but.
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No, I mean, it s so easy to.
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Yeah.
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It really is.
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Yeah.
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And it s magical to think that these things exist and you can go and witness them or even watch them online or in a documentary, whatever, you know.
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Well, at the San Diego Safari, they re literally like with the Southern white rhinos and the Northern white rhinos, it s like,
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One of them is going extinct and they re literally figuring out through stem cells how to bring it back.
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It s so, so wild and so interesting.
8
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And hearing these people talk about it and all of the steps they re going through with scientists and zoologists and literally everyone to help bring back this species of rhinos, it s like, this is so cool and has nothing to do with anything that I do in my normal everyday life,
8
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But how interesting is that to just hear and see and like, what?
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That s crazy.
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But I don t know.
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I just think that that s so cool.
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I love it.
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I love it.
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And I hope you just keep pursuing and following all of these things that you think are cool.
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And you know, it s not that you don t know yourself.
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I wouldn t say that you don t know who you are.
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I just say that you re firmly on that path.
8
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Yeah.
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Like you re on that path of self-discovery and you re doing it at a perfect time in your life and you re,
8
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taking every one of the right steps.
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It s not that you don t know who you are or you re confused, you re just taking those steps and all of it s going to become more and more clear as you continue to take more steps.
8
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Thank you for sharing this part of the journey with me because I m hoping
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that in a few years time you ll come back and then you ll be like, Jay, I figured this out.
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Like these are all of my favorite things that I ve decided.
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Yeah.
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And I hope, and I hope they ll change again.
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And you know, I, but I, I m glad that you came and shared this part because this is the hardest part to share when you re not sure and you re figuring it out.
8
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And I m glad that we had the opportunity to capture that today.
8
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And I m really, really appreciate you sharing that with people because it is the hardest part to share when you re like,
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I don t know.
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I m not quite there, but this is where I am now.
8
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Yeah.
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Perfect.
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Charlie, thank you so much.
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No, thank you.
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For coming on the show today.
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And we end every episode with a final five.
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And these, I m going to totally ruin these because I enjoy doing that.
8
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But you re meant to answer them in one word to one sentence maximum, but
8
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I will probably ask you to expand because they always lead to more thoughtful answers.
8
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So, all right, Charlie, these are your final five.
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The first question is, what is the best advice you ve ever heard or received or even given to someone?
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This is probably the only thing that keeps me sane.
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Whether it s good or bad, everything happens for a reason.
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You can t control it.
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And that s something you hold on to.
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It makes me feel like I m not going crazy.
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When have you used that the most?
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You can explain.
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I mean, when I feel like I have no idea what to do next, or I feel like everything s coming crashing down.
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This is important because it s helping me get to the next step of my life and as much as this sucks right now I need it and some of the worst parts where I feel like I m at an all-time low That helped me get to that next step.
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So next time I m feeling like that I know how to I know first I can get myself out of it and second that You know, maybe it s not that big of a deal and in a year not even gonna remember it.
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I
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Absolutely, love that.
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All right, second question.
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What s the worst advice you ve ever heard or received?
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Probably that I need to say yes to everything because you don t know when this is going to end.
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Sometimes you just need to say no and take that time for yourself.
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I m so glad you brought that up.
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So many young creators hear that.
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Just overwhelm themselves and it s, you re doing a disservice to yourself.
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Give yourself time to figure out who you are.
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And I think you re so right, like I ve said this to a lot of people too, that
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it will only end when you want it to.
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Like nothing can end if you re alive and you re creating and you re building, like things just don t end.
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And I think we use the end as a scarcity tactic or a fear tactic to get more out of someone or to get the most out of it right now, not realizing that someone could take a break for three years if that s what they wanted to do and come back even stronger and bigger and better and whatever.
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And I just don t think we allow
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people to have that space and i think it s really unhealthy for anyone to think that oh if i m not don t do this i m going to be irrelevant or whatever it s like actually if you re an artist you could take time out and come back in years from now and create a masterpiece yeah i mean the first like
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three years of my career, all anyone was saying was, it could be over like that.
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No one s going to care about you.
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And I spent so much time, when is it going to end?
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Everyone keeps telling me it s going to end.
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Like, do I want it to end?
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Maybe I want it to end.
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Maybe I want to break and it just to all be over and go back to my normal life.
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I ve taken breaks, I ve taken step backs, I ve done everything that was coming to me at the moment.
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And it s like letting whether the people that are watching you are going to stay or leave dictate every move you make.
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Those people that really care about you, they re not just going to leave if you stop posting for a month or a week or however long.
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Like put your own mental state first.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Because if you don t put your mental state first, then it s definitely going to go away.
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Yeah.
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You re going to get burnt out and then no one s going to care because you don t care.
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Exactly.
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Or you re not going to be able to put anything out.
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Like, you know, and if you look at it that perspective, it s like, yeah, you just keep pushing and pushing and pushing.
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Yeah.
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You lose yourself and then you have nothing to share and then you ve definitely, you know, lost out.
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No, really, really great answer.
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I love that.
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Uh, question number three, what is the craziest
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rumors you ve heard about yourself, one that made you laugh and one that made you cry?
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Ones that make me laugh are probably the ones where I ll like, I ll seem super
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I ll see like blind items about myself.
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And it s like, she did this crazy thing at this party and it was wild.
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And, and I was like, didn t even go to a party.
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That s so like, like, where did you guys come up with this?
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I wasn t even there.
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So those ones always make me laugh when they re like, so not true.
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I just have to be like, okay.
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It s crazy.
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Yeah it s funny you said about not being at the party like so I officiated uh Ben and Jen s wedding last year and there was a guest list that was printed and the guest list just had everyone s name on it and everyone was like asking me like oh did you see this person do you see this one I was like
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They weren t there.
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It was a really private wedding.
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But it s like everyone assumes that all these people were there and now that all these magazines are printed it, everyone assumes that it was just this big celebrity wedding.
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It s like, well, it wasn t.
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It was just a really intimate friends and family wedding.
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It just makes you laugh.
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You guys pulled this out of nowhere.
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Nowhere.
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It was just crazy to me.
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I was like, how do you make this up?
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And so there was no official guest list.
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printed externally yeah all right uh yeah and then one that kind of like got to you or if there was one that like made you more emotional or things that make you more emotional in general things that make me more emotional are definitely ones that
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try to display my character in a way where, you know, I don t want to defend everything that I do.
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I don t want to defend every rumor that comes out about me.
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But it s like to think that people think I m capable of doing
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these things that, you know, are sometimes so horrible or, you know, they re, especially when I was like 16, 16 was really hard for me.
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And I would hear these grown adults every single day.
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Charlie did this.
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Charlie did that.
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Charlie did this.
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I literally, it was actually right when I hit a hundred million, I think I was at the lowest mental state possible.
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And I looked so happy online.
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And it got to the point where I was like, I m not doing this anymore.
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I physically cannot do this.
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It got really dark to where I was like, I don t even want to be here anymore.
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And I think back to those times and the grown adults that put 16-year-old me in that mindset,
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And I m just like, you guys have kids now?
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You guys are grown.
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And first of all, never got an apology through a direct message, never got an apology or anything besides if it was for other people or that they want something from me.
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And I just like, I wish that they could see what they did to me and how truly horrible they treated me.
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And like, what if that was your kid?
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What if that was you?
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How would you feel?
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And like, I m so proud of myself for getting myself through that.
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Cause that really like, depending on how I responded to that could have changed the trajectory of my life.
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Whether I started to cope in unhealthy ways or harmed myself or did something that, you know, would make these people feel bad.
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I m just very glad that I have the people around me and also got to give some credit to myself was able to get out of that.
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I can t, I mean, even just hearing you talk about it, like it feels so hard and heavy and like, I can feel how intense it could have been.
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Like what got you through that?
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Like, what was it that, because at 16, I mean, you don t have a lot to pull on.
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Like what gets you through all of that?
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Especially being around, you know, now your family s more used to it.
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So everyone has a bit more, it doesn t make it easier.
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I m not saying it makes it easier, but people are more aware of it.
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But at that time, it s like right at the beginning.
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You know, it was really hard for a long time and especially at that point I showed myself in a very specific light and didn t want to let anyone know it was getting to me and then I would go and cry on live and
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And I think back to that, and I think it was the people that I had around me, it was getting to the point where people were coming to my house to check on me.
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It was bad.
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And I don t know if these people that did this, I think they know who they are, but are ever going to see this?
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First of all, I think I deserve an apology.
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Second of all, not that I need one because I m content with how it happened, whatever.
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But the fact that there s no accountability for those people, but there was so much accountability for a 16-year-old, I think is so wild.
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And there s so, like, honestly, the hardest stuff to deal with was the people that were grown adults that were, like, just ripping on me every second of every day.
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20 videos like what I now look back and I m so disgusted by the fact that these people like thought that that was okay It s so wild and I m just I m very thankful that I had my friends and my family and Enough in myself to want to get through it and come out the other side and show these people that they can t
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Ruin me and I have more to show people than what I ve done so far That s so powerful and it s so no it really is it s so powerful to hear that
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And it breaks my heart hearing it too, because I totally get what you re saying in terms of just like, when you have kids, we live in a world that wants to prioritize mental health, but then when we take people apart, whether they ve made a mistake or not, we re not mindful of their mental health at all.
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And it s almost like if someone s made a mistake or maybe not even made a mistake, it s almost like, well, now we don t have to treat them as if they have mental health.
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Yeah.
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At all.
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Or it s like people loved me because I wasn t perfect and I was authentic.
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But then anytime I would mix up my words or make a mistake or do anything outside of what was okay for these people, it was like, well, I hate her and everyone should hate her and she s a horrible person because of this.
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And I was like,
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But what did I do?
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It was so hard to come to terms with the fact that so many people hated me.
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And I was just doing my best.
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But I don t get it.
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All I do is try to please everyone around me, and they re not happy.
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How do I do this?
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I m never going to win.
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And that s really hard.
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I give myself so much credit for how I handled this stuff.
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The best way I knew how.
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So wild.
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If you ever doubt how tough you are, you just got to remember 16 year old Charlie.
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She was a beast.
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Yeah, that s so tough.
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That is really, really intense.
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It is really, really intense.
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How have you dealt with that feeling of like trying to keep everyone else, I know you ve talked about it before, the idea of like trying to keep everyone else afloat and you want to kind of let go of that pressure.
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Do you feel like you ve let go of it or do you feel like you re letting go of it?
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I think I am in certain aspects, but also leaning into it a little, you know?
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maybe not what the internet wants, but what does my family want?
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What are my friends want?
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What does my boyfriend want?
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You know, like those people, what do my true fans want?
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What do they want me to put out that would make them happy?
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Cause I m doing it for these people.
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And maybe if I m feeling a little bit burnt out right now, I really think back to, well, this is the reason that I started doing it, you know, but also,
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understanding that I have to listen to myself and what I need.
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Yeah.
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Figuring out that balance, which I don t think I ll ever truly get the hang of because it s always changing, but at least acknowledging it.
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All right.
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Question four and five, last two questions.
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What s something new that you re trying to learn this year or something that a skill that you re trying to develop?
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I want to get better at packing and like traveling.
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Cause you travel so much.
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Yeah.
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And it s such a stressor for me.
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Literally every single time before I leave for a trip, I will have a little mental breakdown, full like tears, everything.
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It s a, that s another control thing and a very obsessive compulsive thing that I do because I like to have my stuff around me.
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I like to have my things.
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I like to have everything that I could possibly need.
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Like even in my purse, I have everything that I could possibly need for if I go on a three day vacation, like it just causes me so much stress that I would like to be able to take a overnight trip and just like
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pack and go without worrying so much.
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Like that would be the dream.
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Yeah.
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That s a great, I think that s a great skill that I wish everyone was taught out of here.
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Definitely.
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There are great packers and there are bad packers.
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Yeah.
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And I m a bad packer for sure.
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And I get that.
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Do what my wife does.
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My wife just takes six suitcases.
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My sister, she will go places, pack like an hour before.
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She s like, only brought one shoe.
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Yeah.
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How, how do you do this?
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This is insane.
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Yeah, that s amazing.
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I love it.
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All right, great.
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Charlie, final question.
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Fifth and final question.
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If you could, and you can take your time with this, if you could create one rule or one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?
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lead with empathy don t be so hard on every single thing every situation everything no matter what like you never ever know what someone s truly going through even you can ask me what s wrong and i could tell you one thing and maybe deep down it s something else that i m embarrassed to tell you about like
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you just never know the struggle that someone s dealing with when they re by themselves.
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So just be a little more empathetic.
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I feel like COVID really, you know, caused people to react fast.
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Just take a step back, you know, hear people out.
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Just calm down.
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Calm down a little bit.
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Yeah.
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It s so needed for ourself and others.
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And it s amazing how many of us, we all know we need that world.
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but it s almost like the system and society and the way it works is set up to make us not be there.
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Like we all want that and we all say that and then something happens in the press and then everyone jumps on it.
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And I have to say that to myself too.
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Keep yourself in check, you know.
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Charlie, I love how this conversation has been so fun and deep and like,
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random and unique.
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And I love that because that s what all of us are, right?
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Like I think if you try and have a conversation that s just deep or just cool or just whatever, it doesn t work.
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But when you just get to know someone 360, it s, it s a bit quirky.
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It s a bit funny.
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It s, it was super thoughtful and insightful and I m so glad that it was truly you.
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I hope you felt that way.
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Yeah, definitely.
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This is refreshing for me.
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Good, I m glad.
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And thank you so much for trusting me and being here.
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And I m so grateful.
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And everyone who s been listening or watching, whether you re walking your dogs, because I know you do that, whether you re at the gym, whether you re driving to and from work, or whether you re editing a video right now, I want to say thank you to you for listening.
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And I hope that you re going to share your highlights of so many great insights, thoughts, just reflections, I think, that Charlie shared with us today.
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Make sure you share the ones that stood out to you.
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Tag both me and Charlie as well, whether you re using TikTok, X, or Instagram, because I love seeing what you related to and what you connected to.
10
SPEAKER_01
There were so many parts today I felt when I was listening, I was like, oh, I get that.
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SPEAKER_01
Like, I hear that.
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And I want to know what you heard and what you understood and what you learned.
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Charlie, thank you so much again.
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I hope you ll come on many, many more times in the future.
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Yes, thank you for having me.
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Seriously, this is really nice to be able to have the space to talk about anything.
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Well, you re always welcome.
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SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
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Always welcome.
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Thank you.
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If you love this episode, you will also love my interview with Kendall Jenner on setting boundaries to increase happiness and healing your inner child.
10
SPEAKER_02
You could be reading something that someone is saying about you and being like, that is so unfair because that s not who I am.
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And that really gets to me sometimes.
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But then looking at myself in the mirror and being like, but I know who I am.
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Why does anything else matter?
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Guess what, Will?
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What s that, Mango?
10
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I ve been trying to write a promo for our podcast, Part-Time Genius, but even though we ve done over 250 episodes, we don t really talk about murders or cults.
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SPEAKER_00
I mean, we did just cover the Illuminati of cheese, so I feel like that makes us pretty edgy.
10
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We also solve mysteries like how Chinese is your Chinese food and how do dollar stores make money?
10
SPEAKER_00
And then, of course, can you game a dog show?
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So what you re saying is everyone should be listening.
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Listen to Part-Time Genius on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.