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thoughts.
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Now if you look at news right in the morning, what it does is it takes energy away from you.
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If you want to start your morning in a boosted mood, with a good attitude, trying to take on the world positively and you insert some bad news, you now feel set back.
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So that s the first thing, if you are going to consume the news, don t do it first thing in the morning or the last thing at night.
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Now the second thing is, how do you consume your news?
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Are you consuming it with the TV on all the time?
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That s probably not healthy.
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Are you going to the right sources?
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And are you taking it in in a way you like to consume it?
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For example, if you re watching news, you re not getting to reflect or think because the news is designed in such a way to give you stat after fact, after headline, after the lower third with the latest news updates.
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So you don t get a chance to reflect.
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Whereas when you read the news, you get gaps.
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You get to take pauses.
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You get to reflect.
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You get to think.
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Think about just how interesting that is, that you get so much more time when you read versus when you watch.
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Now, studies have linked poor mental health to news exposure during negative and traumatic events, such as terrorist attacks or natural disasters, says ABC News.
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And it said that the more news a person consumes during and after these events, the more likely they are to suffer from depression, stress and anxiety.
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Now this was a study that ABC talked about back in 2014.
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4,675 Americans were surveyed in the weeks following the Boston Marathon bombings and collected data on how much media they consumed.
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Participants who engaged with more than six hours of media coverage per day were nine times more likely to also experience symptoms of high acute stress than those who only watched a minimal amount of news.
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I want you to take this news angle very very seriously.
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You may think that being fully informed
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is helpful but if it makes you helpless then you can t come at it with a positive attitude.
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Now again I m not telling you to not be informed, I m allowing you to get a mental break so that you can be informed effectively.
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The second thing that I want to encourage you to do is I want you to encourage you to expose yourself to good news stories.
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to positive news stories.
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One of the reasons why on my Instagram feed I share so many of these joyful moments, whether it s a dog, whether it s someone in the military reconnecting with a loved one, whether it s a child doing something wonderful, it s because for us to see beauty in the world
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And because our minds are trained to amplify the negative, we have to overexpose ourselves, but consciously, to positive notes.
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Now notice how when you re scrolling through your comments, you will scroll past all the ones that say, you look amazing, oh how beautiful, I love your dress.
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And then as soon as it gets to the one that says, oh she s so pretentious,
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Oh, she is just trying to get likes.
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You obsess over it and now you repeat it to a friend.
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That s the comment you talk about to a friend.
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Oh, could you believe it that people are just so mean.
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Now, I m not saying you shouldn t talk about that, but did you give the same level of presence to the positive comments?
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Did you give the same level of intention to the positive comments, right?
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We focus so much, we fixate so much on the one person who says that we look tired today.
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than the 99 people who say you look vibrant, you look energized, you look focused.
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I m not saying only to listen to people who, you know, make us feel good or glorify us.
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But are we giving the positive, beautiful, joyful moments in our life and day the same level of presence and attention as the negative ones?
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What I m asking you to do is increase your presence and attention for the positive feedback you receive.
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So what I want you to do is today, if you re going through your comments or you re with your friends and someone says something positive to you, I want you to take it in.
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I want you to even ask a question.
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If someone says to you, I ve been loving your energy recently, instead of saying, oh no, no, no, no, you know, I m just, I m just doing whatever.
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We try and say something modest.
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Ask why?
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Why is it?
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What have I done recently?
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And then that person will say something like, well, you know, I just feel like you ve been just trying to boost everyone up and look for the positive.
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And you ll be like, oh, wait a minute, I am doing that, right?
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I am doing that.
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I think what s so fascinating about this is that we don t even recognize what we re doing well because we don t take a moment to recognize what we re doing well.
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We ll spend ages focused on what we re not doing well, but we won t even spend a moment on what we are doing well.
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So I want you to take that moment to not only focus on more positives externally but also focus on positives internally.
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So if something bad happens in the news we ll all talk about it online but if something good happens on the news we rarely share it in our stories, we rarely talk about it.
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But I see you all sharing the joyful moments that I post on Instagram because you believe it s there.
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But also amplify it within yourself.
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Talk about it within yourself.
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Have you ever had one bad moment spoil your entire day or felt overwhelmed for no reason?
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What about stressed or anxious over that big moment or difficult conversation?
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You should try meditation and I know what you re thinking.
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Jay, you used to be a monk.
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I don t have time to sit in the woods for hours doing nothing.
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But really, all the time you need to start your own mindfulness practice is seven minutes a day with the Daily Jay, my daily guided meditations on the car map.
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You don t need to close your eyes or find a special seat, you can try it while you brush your teeth, do the dishes or walk your dog.
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My goal in 7 minutes a day is to help you find calm and feel grounded in your busy world.
1
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Plant beautiful intentions for an abundant life and simple steps for positive actions to get you closer to the life of your dreams.
1
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Here s what one of the listeners of the Daily J had to say about their meditation.
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Wow, I just had a super hard day at work and couldn t get my boss s comments out of my head.
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Then I did the daily J which related to my work issues, opened my eyes at the end of the session and felt renewed again.
1
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Previously today would have destroyed my whole weekend.
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Meditate with me by going to calm.com forward slash J to get 40% off a calm premium membership.
1
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That s only $42 for the whole year for daily guided meditations.
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Experience the daily J only on calm.
1
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When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it s powerful.
1
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That s where The Bright Side comes in, a new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that s bringing you a daily dose of joy.
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I m Danielle Robay.
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And I m Simone Boyce.
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Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters.
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We ve covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy.
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But The Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new and get into some friendly debates.
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That s right.
1
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Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side.
1
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We ll hear from celebrities, authors, experts and listeners like you, whether it s relationships, friend advice or figuring out how to navigate life s transitions.
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We ll talk through it all together.
1
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Listen to the bright side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
1
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When the Taliban banned music in Afghanistan, millions were plunged into silence.
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Radios were smashed.
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Cassettes burned.
1
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You could be beaten or jailed or killed for breaking the rules.
1
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And yet, Afghans did it anyway.
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This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.
1
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The danger they endured.
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They said my head should be cut off.
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The joy they brought to the nation.
1
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You re free completely.
1
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No one is there to destroy you.
1
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I m John Legend.
1
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Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
1
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Hey everyone, this is Molly and Matt and we re the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.
1
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It s a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting.
1
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Like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone and so much more.
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We re back with season two of the podcast, which means more opportunities to glow up and become a more responsible and better
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adult one life lesson at a time.
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And let me just tell you, this show is just as much for us as it is for you.
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So let s figure this stuff out together.
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This season, we re going to talk about whether or not we re financially and emotionally ready for dog ownership.
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We re going to figure out the benefits of a high yield savings account.
2
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And what exactly are the duties of being a member of the wedding party?
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All that plus so much more.
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Let s learn about all of it and then some.
2
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Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Now, the third one I want to mention is the feeling of scale.
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Often we feel helpless because of the scale of the issue.
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It s too big for us, right?
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We feel too small.
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And I remember when I lived as a monk, we would walk on this beach in South India with the senior monks.
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And South India is known to be a fishing space.
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There s a lot of fishnets, a lot of fishing boats.
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And so often what happens is that certain fishes escape the net but then they end up on the shore and you see them struggling on the sand in the heat without the water and they re about to die.
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Now as monks obviously we didn t eat fish and our monk teachers would encourage us to pick up the fish and put them back in the water.
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Now as we did this, sometimes I would look at the amount of fish and think well we re gonna save like 10 fish today, maybe 20.
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Like what s the point?
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And our monk teachers would remind us that to us it s just one fish, but to that one fish it s its entire life.
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You may think I can only support or help 10 people, I can only comfort 5 people, what is the point of me even trying, that doesn t change the situation.
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And the really interesting thing about that is that if you ve ever talked to someone that you ve helped and they tell you, you changed my life, and they tell you that you helped me during my toughest time, to that person it s their entire being.
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So let s not get caught up in this game of scale and think, oh, if I can t save a million people, there s no point.
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If I can t support 100 people, then I m not significant.
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Because to that one person, it s their entire life experience.
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The next step is what Alex Banyan in his book
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he talks about this concept about three doors.
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And he talks about this in relation to trying to get inside a club.
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And what he says is that there s always three doors into a club.
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You have the main entrance where everyone s lining up.
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Then you have the VIP entrance where all the high net worth individuals, connected individuals, influencers, whatever you want to call them, line up.
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But then you have the third door
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And the third door is the door on the side.
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It may have some security outside it.
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It s not the conventional door.
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It s probably not even an entrance.
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You might have to like get through somehow.
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But most of us never anticipate that that door even exists.
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Learned helplessness is where we go, well, I m not a person who can make a big difference.
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I m not someone who can make a small difference.
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There s no difference I can make.
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Now he s talking about it in terms of success, I m talking about it in terms of making a difference.
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Every single one of us can make a difference.
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And I think what s happened over time is that we ve got less involved in our communities or less involved around projects that we believe in.
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So we have to start taking action.
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We have to start finding roles in our community where we feel purposeful, where we feel impactful.
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Whether it s helping a local charity, whether it s getting involved in a local movement.
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That gives you the sense of community, belonging and impact that you re missing.
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You may not feel powerful alone.
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But I promise you, you will feel more power and influence and control in numbers.
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If you re part of a group that s trying to make a difference, you re going to feel more empowered.
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You can make a difference.
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If you think you re doing it all alone, you will always feel helpless.
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Loneliness can create a lot of helplessness.
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The next step, which I probably should have addressed earlier, is the idea of self-care.
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When you re overexposed to the news, when you re underwhelmingly taking care of yourself, chances are that things trigger you more.
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I ll give you an example.
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How many of you, when you get bad news, if you ve slept well, feel like you deal with it better?
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Say yes.
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How many of you feel like when you ve eaten, you make quicker, faster decisions, or if you get a difficult decision, you make a better one?
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Say yes.
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When you re taking care of yourself, you re able to respond to trauma and triggers far better than when you re not taking care of yourself.
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And I think a lot of us feel that we should be going out there, we should be making a difference, but then we wallow in that pain rather than going, well, actually, if I m strong and well-placed, I can make a difference.
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I can actually have an impact.
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I will be not held back as much as I think I will.
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What also happens when we align forces with the community is that we feel a sense of support and encouragement, which we need, and a sense of belonging.
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Most of us feel alone when we feel helpless.
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We feel, wow, I m feeling terrible.
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And when you look online, you often see people who don t agree with you.
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So you think, oh, well, no one agrees with me as well.
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And that s why community gives you a sense of that comfort.
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Now one of the rules of self-care is self-talk and often when we are seeing a challenge we often think well things are only getting worse.
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When you say a statement like things are only getting worse that s not factual or accurate and the emotionality of that statement makes it very hard to deal with.
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Or if you say things like it s all doomed, we re all doomed,
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When you have that mindset it creates that environment, it makes you spot that more.
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It makes you aware of that pattern more and now that s all you see.
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Now also you don t want to do the opposite which is toxic positivity where you re like everything s great, everything s amazing.
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But notice everything s wrong or everything s amazing are both not accurate statements.
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But when you understand, you think, oh yeah, of course I was triggered, I didn t get enough sleep that night.
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Or, I mean, everyone seems to be triggered by this, so I m not alone, which means maybe there s some of us that can do something about it.
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Okay, I m really discouraged by this right now, but I m going to find inspiration later to solve this.
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I m struggling with this today,
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But I know that my meditation will help me.
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Right?
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So you re creating a real conversation with yourself.
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And the best way to think about this is how do you talk to your friend when they re being helpless?
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You want to talk to your mind in the same way.
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We have to learn to talk to our mind as if it s another person because it almost is.
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The mind is conditioned to have certain beliefs and certain patterns and therefore needs to be coached and guided out of that setting.
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This is something we haven t talked a lot about on On Purpose and I d love to see your feedback on this.
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I really do believe meditation or prayer or conversations out loud can be really, really useful.
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A lot of people pray.
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and research has shown that prayer increases optimism and adaptability and it also improves some of our health challenges as well.
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Now how do you pray?
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Often we pray for our situation to change or our surroundings to change but instead praying for the strength, praying for the courage, praying for the skills is a better long-term strategy.
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When we pray or meditate on hoping things will change or hoping things will get better, we feel more out of control.
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When you feel your skills are improving, when you feel your talents are improving, when you feel your resilience, your adaptability is growing, when your grit is growing, you feel a sense of control and navigation.
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For example, let s say you re driving a car and the weather gets really bad.
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You can either pray for it to stop raining or you could have skilled up in driving in the rain.
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Which one makes you feel better?
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Knowing how to drive in the rain is far more giving you confidence than hoping it will stop raining.
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When you try and find confidence in things you can t control, you actually lose it.
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But when you find your confidence in things you can control,
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It s always with you.
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So we can pray for no difficult times or we can pray for courage, for confidence, for skills.
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We can actually work on developing the skills.
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Often when I m in a bookstore what I do is I ask
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What skill do I need right now that I don t have?
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What skill do I need right now that I don t have?
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Maybe I ve been struggling with stress.
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Maybe I ve been struggling with leading my team.
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Maybe I ve been struggling with emotions.
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Let me read about that.
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Let me listen to a podcast about that.
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Let me ask an expert about that.
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Let me absorb myself in actually upskilling so that now when I m in that situation, which is not surprising, I will actually have the tools to overcome it.
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I really hope that this episode helps you today because I want you to shift from a place of helplessness to a feeling of making a difference.
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I want you to shift from a place of helplessness to knowing you do matter.
3
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That you can make things better.
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and that you and me and all of us have lived through a lot of incredibly difficult situations.
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I m with you and I m wishing you all the best.
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I m so grateful that we re building a hopeful, courageous, powerful community here at On Purpose.
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Thank you for listening.
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I ll see you soon.
3
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This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.
3
SPEAKER_01
The joy they brought to the nation.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re free completely.
3
SPEAKER_00
No one is there to destroy you.
3
SPEAKER_01
The danger they endured.
3
SPEAKER_00
They said my head should be cut off.
3
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I m John Legend.
3
SPEAKER_01
Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
3
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A new season of Bridgerton is here.
3
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And with it, a new season of Bridgerton, the official podcast.
3
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I m your host, Gabby Collins.
3
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And this season, we are bringing fans even deeper into the ton.
3
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Watch season three of the Shondaland series on Netflix.
3
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Then fall in love all over again by listening to Bridgerton, the official podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Subscribe to catch a new episode every Thursday.