0
SPEAKER_00
Oh shit, this is Lyle.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yes, who is this?
0
SPEAKER_00
Shep, like Shepard.
0
SPEAKER_01
Shep, what s up Shep, how you doing?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, not bad, how are you?
0
SPEAKER_01
Hanging in there.
0
SPEAKER_01
How can I get you today, Shep?
0
SPEAKER_00
Well, I ve got kind of a weird story.
0
SPEAKER_00
So, my ex-girlfriend tried to brainwash me with ayahuasca, but I kind of knew that she was trying to brainwash me, so it didn t work.
0
SPEAKER_00
But through the process of ayahuasca, I kind of
0
SPEAKER_00
Got real in touch with myself, and I figured out that I was still in love with her cousin, who I met when I was six.
0
SPEAKER_01
Hmm, where should we start with this?
0
SPEAKER_01
So she tried to, like, did she drug you?
0
SPEAKER_00
No, so we were in a long-term relationship.
0
SPEAKER_00
It was pretty imbalanced.
0
SPEAKER_00
It was like a very toxic relationship I shouldn t have been in.
0
SPEAKER_00
And it was all kind of falling apart.
0
SPEAKER_00
I kind of had enough of it.
0
SPEAKER_00
And she suggested we go to this ayahuasca retreat.
0
SPEAKER_00
And she d already had like a an ego death on MDMA and kind of confessed to all this manipulative stuff that she was doing in the relationship.
0
SPEAKER_00
And that was really interesting.
0
SPEAKER_01
But then what kind of what kind of manipulative stuff?
0
SPEAKER_00
Kind of like emotionally just
0
SPEAKER_00
has her hold over me and kind of everyone else in her family, to be honest, has control of what everyone does, all their decisions.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like she had, I couldn t message my friends or my mom without her knowing about it.
0
SPEAKER_00
She had control over what I bought, where I went, what I did.
0
SPEAKER_00
It was kind of crazy.
0
SPEAKER_00
So yeah, so she had this ego death on MDMA and realized she was doing all of it, which was really interesting.
0
SPEAKER_00
But then when it wore off,
0
SPEAKER_00
She kind of started to freak out because she exposed herself, I guess, and then started trying to paint me out as being some kind of narcissist manipulator and stuff.
0
SPEAKER_00
And her craziness sort of ramped up a lot.
0
SPEAKER_00
And yeah, so then she suggested we go to this ayahuasca retreat.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I was open to it because I d read a bit about it.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I thought, yeah, it sounds good.
0
SPEAKER_00
It could be good for me.
0
SPEAKER_00
And she might get something out of it.
0
SPEAKER_00
Who knows?
0
SPEAKER_00
But then on the plane on the way over there,
0
SPEAKER_00
I was sat on a plane and she gave me her phone to like log something down about the flights or something, I don t know what it was.
0
SPEAKER_00
And so I opened up notes and I saw on her phone this note that said, um, uh, destabilization, a technique used in brainwashing.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, what s this?
0
SPEAKER_00
And she gave me this weird look, like she kind of bared her teeth and she was like, Oh, that s, that s to do with my sister-in-law sort of thing.
0
SPEAKER_00
Just had tried to brush it off, but it was pretty sus.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I was just kind of like, Oh, okay.
0
SPEAKER_00
And, I mean, the note being about destabilization, like, after my ayahuasca ceremony, she was basically, like, destabilizing us up.
0
SPEAKER_00
She tried to kind of interrogate me and tell me what all my visions meant.
0
SPEAKER_00
What s your name again, man?
0
SPEAKER_01
Shep.
0
SPEAKER_01
Shep, Shep, let me ask you something.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I m not, I promise you, I m not saying this as like, in like a blaming sense.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m asking you this because I genuinely want to know like sincerely how your brain kind of processed all this.
0
SPEAKER_01
But when she told you all these things and ways that she manipulated you and how she was trying to keep you from your friends and you know, your family and like,
0
SPEAKER_01
all this stuff.
0
SPEAKER_01
Why did you what stopped you from from from leaving?
0
SPEAKER_00
So it was a really codependent sort of situation.
0
SPEAKER_00
So a lot of the relationship, I didn t feel like I could leave because very isolated.
0
SPEAKER_00
But at the same time, I felt like I d seen something good in her that I kind of wanted to get through to.
0
SPEAKER_00
And kind of the plot kind of thickens because by this point, I think we had our son was like, a year and a half old.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you guys have a kid together?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
So I was really trying to get through to, you know, the good in her to try and sort things out and to try and help the situation.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so what happened at this retreat?
0
SPEAKER_00
So I was there, her cousin was there, because her cousin and her cousin s partner at the time went out like two weeks before us.
0
SPEAKER_00
But then her cousin decided she wanted to stay while I was there with my toxic manipulative partner.
0
SPEAKER_00
So it ended up being me and my partner and her cousin at this retreat.
0
SPEAKER_00
And this is her cousin who I ve known since I was six years old and who kind of introduced me to the whole situation.
0
SPEAKER_00
And yeah, it was basically her interrogating me after every ceremony, trying to tell me what it all meant, trying to make sure that I was blaming my family for all of it.
0
SPEAKER_00
I kind of could see what she was doing, so it didn t really work.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh my god, still, but still man, that sounds like a complete nightmare, being on an intense psychedelic drug while someone s trying to like, fuck with your understanding of reality.
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, that sounds awful.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it was kind of a lot to hold on to, but I managed to.
0
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I had a fucking amazing experience, if I m honest.
0
SPEAKER_00
It was, like, the best thing I ve ever done.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah?
0
SPEAKER_00
I had, like, an ex.
0
SPEAKER_01
Even with, like, all this, like, shit?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, because it kind of has a way of just cutting through all the bullshit, and you just get right down to the core of you, like, no matter what s going on.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I was there, like, I really wanted to just work myself and get what I could out of it.
0
SPEAKER_00
So, yeah, it was amazing.
0
SPEAKER_00
I had, like, an exorcism.
0
SPEAKER_00
I was talking to aliens trying to save the world, like,
0
SPEAKER_00
I saw the spirit world, like loads of crazy shit happened.
0
SPEAKER_00
It was amazing.
0
SPEAKER_00
And yeah, I d love to do it again.
0
SPEAKER_00
But I mean, this all happened like six years ago now.
0
SPEAKER_00
And so basically, we got back after the retreat.
0
SPEAKER_00
It was pretty clear it wasn t going to work out.
0
SPEAKER_00
We were living abroad in France, so I moved into a flat down the road, like an apartment down the road, so I could still be close to my kid.
0
SPEAKER_00
But then she cut me off from him and said that I couldn t see him anymore, which like, I mean, she helped me move out.
0
SPEAKER_00
And then she said that I abandoned him as soon as I moved into this apartment and said that I couldn t see him anymore.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, right, OK.
0
SPEAKER_00
So I ended up moving back to the UK, saving up what I could to get a lawyer, to go to court, get access to my kid, which I got.
0
SPEAKER_00
But it was actually after I d moved out and I was doing a lot of meditating and using what I d learned at the Sarawak Retreat,
0
SPEAKER_00
And I had a small amount of MDMA that I took.
0
SPEAKER_00
And it all hit me, slapped me around the face that I had all these underlying feelings for her cousin, who s this girl that I met when I was six years old.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I told them.
0
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I told my ex first.
0
SPEAKER_00
I said, look, I ve realized I ve got feelings for your cousin.
0
SPEAKER_00
And she said, well, I don t give a shit.
0
SPEAKER_00
Go and tell her then, fine.
0
SPEAKER_00
So I said, okay, and I went and I told her.
0
SPEAKER_00
And at first, she didn t believe me.
0
SPEAKER_00
She just thought I was just trying to say it to be a dick or trying to hurt my ex-partner.
0
SPEAKER_00
But throughout the course of the conversation, I kind of managed to convince her that I really meant it.
0
SPEAKER_00
And then, so my crazy ex goes, all right, well,
0
SPEAKER_00
Why don t you figure out how you feel about him then, you know?
0
SPEAKER_00
And so she started trying to figure it out and talk to me about it.
0
SPEAKER_00
And it felt like we were really starting to get somewhere.
0
SPEAKER_00
And we kind of figured out that there were feelings there and she didn t know what it meant yet, but she said, well, I m going to go and tell her that there s feelings there.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I said, I don t know if you should just go and tell her, like, there s probably a little bit of text or whatever.
0
SPEAKER_00
But she was like, no, no, trust me, I ll be fine.
0
SPEAKER_00
So she went and told
0
SPEAKER_00
my crazy ex, and she flipped.
0
SPEAKER_00
She was like, she screamed in her face, I wanna rip you in half.
0
SPEAKER_00
And yeah, so this girl I met when I was six, she just like suddenly became, she kind of retreated, became very confused.
0
SPEAKER_00
And she said basically that actually, well, they both started trying to convince me that I was confused.
0
SPEAKER_00
And actually I had feelings for the abusive person I d just broken up with.
0
SPEAKER_01
And this was all six years ago.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
This was six years ago.
0
SPEAKER_00
And, um, I actually just recently, just a couple of weeks ago, cause I had a girlfriend last year and I tried to move past the situation and sort of just get on with my life.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I still see my kid when I can, but I realized kind of recently that those feelings are still there.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like I don t have closure because of how it all.
0
SPEAKER_00
ended it didn t feel like we actually got closure so I emailed this girl I met when I was six because I still have her email address I don t have a phone number and I explained I still had feelings for her and I felt like I wanted to you know talk to her.
1
SPEAKER_01
How recently did you email her?
1
SPEAKER_01
Like two weeks ago.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
Did she respond?
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, no, and I don t know if she got it or not, but I don t see why she would have changed her email address.
1
SPEAKER_01
But the thing is, if she got, cause she lives, they live together.
1
SPEAKER_01
As soon as I moved out, this girl that I grew up with when I was six moved in because my abusive ex always needs like a personal assistant to run around and do her, all that cleaning and cooking and stuff.
1
SPEAKER_01
so they live together and they probably would have both read the email and Fuck knows what s going on over there.
1
SPEAKER_01
It might cause a shitstorm.
1
SPEAKER_00
It might not how long it well How long has it been since you ve seen either of these people?
1
SPEAKER_01
So when I go and see my son to be honest She normally sends my son out with she had two children from a previous relationship and she usually sends her daughter out with my son, so I see her so I
1
SPEAKER_01
I haven t seen the girl I grew up with for a couple of years, and it s probably been about the same sort of time with my abuse of X as well.
1
SPEAKER_01
I ve just seen my son.
1
SPEAKER_01
I pick him up outside the house.
1
SPEAKER_00
How old is your son?
1
10.
1
SPEAKER_00
How old are you?
1
SPEAKER_01
I m 37.
1
SPEAKER_00
And, uh, how s everything going with your kid?
1
SPEAKER_00
Cause, uh, cause, I mean, God fucking damn, dude, this situation is, uh, it was insane.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was insane if you didn t have a kid and having a kid in between, it makes it like a hundred times more crazy.
1
SPEAKER_01
I know.
1
SPEAKER_01
So she s basically, since I moved out, convinced him that I don t actually love him and I m pretending to love him to hurt her.
1
SPEAKER_01
And he s kind of,
1
SPEAKER_01
seems to be buying that story.
1
SPEAKER_01
So the last few times I ve seen him, he s fully been, I mean, it s weird because we ve still got, we were really close up until I moved out when he was three and a half.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like we were super close.
1
SPEAKER_01
We get on really, really well and that s still there.
1
SPEAKER_01
But then you can see where him having to live in his mom s story all the time is messing with him because yeah, he ll say that he doesn t believe I actually love him.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_01
So it s tricky.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m just doing what I can do.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m trying not to, because obviously she s painting her whole story out to him.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I m obviously trying not to paint my whole story out to him because I think it s messed up.
1
SPEAKER_01
But at the same time, when you re in a situation when, you know, they re being told all of that, so well, what the fuck am I supposed to do?
1
SPEAKER_01
So I m trying to be there and keep contact with them and keep seeing them, keep spending time with them and having fun.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I don t get phone calls with him too often now.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s got a phone number, but I m not allowed it.
1
SPEAKER_01
She and her whole family talk to him on the phone, but for whatever reason, she won t give me his number.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I assume that your custody agreement looks something like he spends most of his time over there and you get to see him occasionally?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I get to see him for half his school holidays, or any weekend of any month I can go and see him, but I need to give them a month s notice, basically.
1
SPEAKER_00
Did you have to go through kind of a crazy court battle?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, in France, like with a French lawyer and translator and everything.
1
SPEAKER_01
It was expensive and it was long.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it took about six months, but got it done and got to see him again.
1
SPEAKER_00
Goddamn, man.
1
SPEAKER_00
How you doing?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I m actually okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
Um, uh, this year I ve actually been starting to feel pretty good within myself.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I think that s why I sort of, I got to the point of thinking, actually, I need closure rather than just not being sure what to do about it and being in loads of pain and just, you know, not knowing how I can move on with my life.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, I mean, the closure is like you, you can never, I mean, you know this man, like you, you can never, um,
1
SPEAKER_00
You know, closure is something you ve got to give to yourself, right?
1
SPEAKER_00
Because if you need closure from this cousin or this ex, you re never going to get it because you can t make other people give you closure.
1
SPEAKER_00
You can only give it within yourself.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I get that.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
I think by emailing her, I just wanted, because she probably would have had no idea that I did still have any kind of feelings because
1
SPEAKER_01
I didn t really, I didn t give that impression or give much away over the past few years.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, the time I saw her two years ago or whatever, this girl I grew up with, I barely spoke to her, you know?
1
SPEAKER_01
And it s because, I mean, she said a bunch of messed up stuff, stuff in the whole court battle.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, she submitted to court that I shouldn t see my son ever again, this girl I grew up with, but I mean, I know that s not her.
1
SPEAKER_01
I know it s coming from my ex, so.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t know, it s a tricky one.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like I had all these mixed feelings about it all.
1
SPEAKER_01
But when I actually get down to the core of it all, you know, if she turned up on my doorstep, I d invite her in straight away.
1
SPEAKER_01
But... Are you talking about your cousin?
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, not your cousin.
1
SPEAKER_00
No, you don t have a crush on your cousin.
1
SPEAKER_00
Your ex s cousin.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I guess I wanted her to know that, to just have the opportunity to know that actually
1
SPEAKER_00
you know, if she did want to get out of the... Well, look, look, look, look, look, get with me, get with me on this, get with me on this, because this is what I want to know.
1
SPEAKER_00
What... I mean, first of all, I m really sorry to hear that you re in such a precocious situation with your son, because that s, I mean, that s, that s, that s, that s brutal.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s really brutal.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m sorry that you re dealing with that.
1
SPEAKER_00
I want to know this.
1
SPEAKER_00
Who else do you got in your life right now?
1
SPEAKER_00
Are you dating someone else?
1
SPEAKER_00
Are you going out on... Are you trying to form a new relationship?
1
SPEAKER_00
Do you have friends?
1
SPEAKER_00
What does your support system look like outside of that?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I mean, I ve got friends around me.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was in a relationship for all of last year.
1
SPEAKER_01
But I think it was at the tail end of that relationship I had the niggling feeling about not having closure.
1
SPEAKER_01
But it wasn t just that.
1
SPEAKER_01
There were lots of reasons the relationship didn t work out.
1
SPEAKER_01
Um, but yeah, I mean, uh, I ve, I ve got my family all live pretty close by.
1
SPEAKER_01
I ve got friends that go skateboarding with, you know, go down the pub and hang out and, you know, I ve got some good mates.
1
SPEAKER_01
So yeah, it s okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s not like I m on my own and I m just suffering this dark room, um, or anything.
1
SPEAKER_01
So no, my life s okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m, I m, I m enjoying my job.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m a youth support worker.
1
SPEAKER_01
I work with teenagers and.
1
SPEAKER_01
that s really rewarding.
1
SPEAKER_01
So no, things are going pretty good.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m feeling pretty positive.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I think I just wanted to see if I could get closure.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I know what you mean.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, you can only give closure to yourself, but I want to give it an opportunity before I go, okay, you know what, I m just gonna leave it all behind and move on with my life.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s hard, I get, I mean, I get it.
1
SPEAKER_00
I get why you want closure and I get why you feel like you, I get why people feel like they can t just give it to themselves.
1
SPEAKER_00
But it s a really powerful feeling when you kind of, when you do throw up your hands and go, I can only, I really can only give myself closure to this thing.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know, you kind of like relinquish this desire for control over this thing that you fundamentally have zero control over.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then, weirdly, you regain control.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know?
1
SPEAKER_00
Because it s within your control to accept you have no control.
1
SPEAKER_00
And that makes you feel a little bit more powerful over this otherwise powerless position.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I do get that.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I think, you know, I could definitely... I know I m going to be feeling optimistic about moving forward with my life if I do, you know, just get to a point where it s like, you know what?
1
SPEAKER_01
It s done.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s in the past and just move forward.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I guess it was just figuring out that I still have feelings there.
1
SPEAKER_01
It was just like, all right, well, I m just going to reach out and just check in one last time.
1
SPEAKER_00
But all I mean, I mean, you know, all things considered, the fact that you seem like you re doing pretty well with this, this crazy situation is I m very impressed by, you know, you didn t let it crumble you or, you know, you re not the fact that you re not sitting in a dark room thinking about your cousin and all this, not your guy.
1
SPEAKER_00
You don t know why I keep calling this woman that you are attracted to.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t know why I keep saying it s your cousin.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I mean it s also good that you re not sitting in a dark room thinking about how much you love your cousin Whether this woman s cousin or your cousin, it s good that you re not sitting in a dark room thinking about either So, I mean good good on you man, I mean just the fact that you re able to live a Happy life despite some pretty miserable circumstances is something that I m very I m very impressed by
1
SPEAKER_01
Thanks, man.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s taken a while.
1
SPEAKER_01
What didn t help
2
SPEAKER_01
lot but I was using it to cope for the first few years is I was smoking a bunch of weed but I stopped doing that and it s really helped me to start feeling a lot more positive about everything so that was a while ago now that I stopped but it s definitely a good call as much as it feels like it helps like in the moment um long-term bigger picture it doesn t help anything so
2
SPEAKER_00
Tell us I mean before we go tell us anything else like that anything else what else has made you feel You know good in your life despite all this for anyone else listening who s like you know maybe they re going maybe they re in the you re like in the you ve like you know in the in the final stages of
2
SPEAKER_00
like dealing with this stuff and it sounds like you ve been able to process it pretty well.
2
SPEAKER_00
What s your advice or what s worked for you to anyone else who s maybe dealing with some crazy shit?
2
SPEAKER_01
I would say listen to yourself, trust yourself, forgive yourself.
2
SPEAKER_01
You can only do what you can do and you know what is not helping you so just don t do it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Just stop doing that stuff and
2
SPEAKER_01
Eventually you will start to get in tune with what you feel like you need and what you feel like you want to do and just keep listening to that and Things can be okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
Thanks noise turn around things can always get better Well Shep is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go No, I think we pretty much covered it I just think it s crazy that you actually called and I got to talk to you about all this I was fucking nervous at the beginning of the call I m not gonna lie Yeah, man.
2
SPEAKER_01
No, it s cool and
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I hope everyone has a good day.
2
SPEAKER_00
Hey, uh, take care Shep, and good luck in all of your future endeavors.
2
SPEAKER_01
Nice one.
2
SPEAKER_01
Thanks, Gat.
2
SPEAKER_01
See ya.
2
SPEAKER_00
Take care, man.
2
SPEAKER_00
Man, that was a wild one.
2
SPEAKER_00
Although I just, um, I really do, uh, I mean, that s such a, such a difficult situation.
2
SPEAKER_00
I want to say I respect that man s, um,
2
SPEAKER_00
Optimism I really do I respect his optimism and The fact that he seems like he s doing pretty well despite all the things and and not just now but even like in when he s telling the story about how he someone s trying to brainwash him while he s doing ayahuasca and Like I said that sounds horrible, and he s like no it was such a great experience, and I m like I had some I
2
SPEAKER_00
mental resilience being shown by this guy so props to him maybe it s a British thing I think that was the first call I ve had with a British person where for a full 20 minutes I didn t interrupt by saying something about English McDonald s or or something like that so you know props to me for that and thanks for calling Shep
2
SPEAKER_00
Hey folks, this is Lyle.
2
SPEAKER_00
I am very excited to announce that I am going back on tour in 2024 to do Therapy Gecko Live all across the country.
2
SPEAKER_00
If you ve never been to one of my live shows before, they are extremely fun, unpredictable, wild evenings that involve a mix of group gecko therapy sessions as well as some material and presentations from myself.
2
SPEAKER_00
And if you ve been to the show before, I have new presentations and will of course be interviewing new people.
2
SPEAKER_00
If you re a fan of the podcast, you re gonna have a great time at the live show, so I hope to see you guys there.
2
SPEAKER_00
Go to therapygeckotour.com or check the link in the episode description for a full list of cities where tickets are available.
2
SPEAKER_00
Also, if you don t see your city on the list of cities, please still click the link and RSVP with your phone number so I can contact you when tickets go on sale for your city, because I m going to announce a bunch more dates very soon.
2
SPEAKER_00
Geck bless.
2
SPEAKER_03
Hello?
2
SPEAKER_00
Hello!
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh, no fucking way.
2
SPEAKER_03
Is this Lyle?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, who is this?
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh my god, this is Nadia.
2
SPEAKER_00
Nadia, what s going on?
2
SPEAKER_00
How can I geck you today?
2
SPEAKER_03
Ah, shit.
2
SPEAKER_03
Well, first of all, I d like to say I went to your live show in Orlando last week.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh!
2
SPEAKER_03
And it was bomb.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh, you had a good time?
2
SPEAKER_03
It was so bomb.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, it was really cool.
2
SPEAKER_03
Um, honestly, it was my first live show with you and it was way better than I expected it to be.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I even, I took my dad and my dad s like a 60 year old old buff Republican that likes world war two shit.
2
SPEAKER_03
And he loved it.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s so awesome to hear actually that fucking works.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, it was really cool.
2
SPEAKER_03
I, it was like the turnout was way better than I expected it to be.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I honestly like I went with a couple of high school friends too and they we just weren t expecting what was going to happen.
2
SPEAKER_03
So we came in with no expectations at all.
2
SPEAKER_03
And it was just like, boom, mind blown.
2
SPEAKER_03
So it was really cool.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, goddamn, thanks Nadia.
2
SPEAKER_00
That makes me feel really good.
2
SPEAKER_00
I ve had, there are some, dude, I swear to God, I ve had some shows where I wake up in the middle of the night and I m like, aw, fuck.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like, it ll just keep me up at night, you know?
2
SPEAKER_00
But, uh... Really?
2
SPEAKER_00
Was that one of those shows?
2
SPEAKER_00
No, I think that one went well.
2
SPEAKER_00
I think that one went well.
2
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I m always hard on myself, but I think that one was fun.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m trying to think what the highlights of that were.
2
SPEAKER_00
Not to bore the listeners with, uh...
2
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I guess this whole thing I guess this is just an impromptu ad for my live show But uh, what was the highlight of the Orlando?
2
SPEAKER_00
Who was who do you remember from that show?
2
SPEAKER_03
I m trying to Always remember the girl that was wearing the pickle grit costume with the with the eyeball hat and like yeah, like her story was pretty sick, but honestly besides that I
2
SPEAKER_03
I mean, I don t know if I m allowed to say.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh no, don t, don t, don t, don t spoil anything that I don t talk about anything that I said.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t want to spoil it for people.
2
SPEAKER_00
But anyway, we can stop.
2
SPEAKER_00
Let s stop talking about my live show.
2
SPEAKER_00
Um, how can I, what s, what s up with you, man?
2
SPEAKER_03
So recently I just got out of a, in my opinion, a pretty toxic and kind of abusive relationship with a guy.
2
SPEAKER_03
that I met at a sex club, which I mean, if I meet a guy at a sex club, that s immediately a red flag.
2
SPEAKER_03
But, um, I mean, I immediately like really fell in love with him, like head over heels.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I kind of just kept putting off the red flags until it was kind of like too late.
2
SPEAKER_03
So when I finally cut it off, I felt so
2
SPEAKER_03
alone.
2
SPEAKER_03
I mean, I live alone.
2
SPEAKER_03
Um, I m going to college alone.
2
SPEAKER_03
I m 22 and I m living alone for the first time.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I, it s like the first time in a while that I ve, that weekends have come along and I had like no plans.
2
SPEAKER_03
I don t have anybody to see.
2
SPEAKER_03
I don t talk to anybody.
2
SPEAKER_03
I don t have a lot of friends at school, not because I don t want to make friends, but my school is just so,
2
SPEAKER_03
oriented around studying and doing shit school stuff.
2
SPEAKER_03
Like I don t really have time to even make friends.
2
SPEAKER_03
So I ve kind of just been on a binge on dating apps, which I ve kind of always told myself that I didn t want to do because I mean, I don t really think that real love is found on dating apps.
2
SPEAKER_03
I feel like it s just found naturally out there, but I just feel so lonely.
2
SPEAKER_03
Like I don t know what else to do.
2
SPEAKER_03
I even went to the club by myself
2
SPEAKER_03
And, I mean, I didn t have a bad time, but I was literally just on my phone the whole time.
2
SPEAKER_03
Like, I don t really know, you know?
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, um, you know, I mean, I ll say this, I struggle a lot with loneliness myself.
2
SPEAKER_00
Vice made a whole 20 minute documentary about how sad and lonely I am, so that s a thing.
2
SPEAKER_00
So, I don t know, this is a thing that I am trying to hack myself.
2
SPEAKER_00
I will say about the dating apps, though, is people say that, like, they re fake or whatever, but
2
SPEAKER_00
That dating app is just like a person is a person you know what I mean a dating app is just a dating app is just a a Way to make it so that you can meet more people the people you meet on the apps are not necessarily reflective of the app experience Itself it s reflective of those people you know right and you know and and and
2
SPEAKER_03
that you re exactly right because I mean I have a high school friend that married a girl that he met off of tinder so it s just like it s totally possible but I just feel like I m putting myself out there to so many people it just kind of feels weird like I ve never been I m not like an introverted person but I m also not that extroverted so you kind of just feel like especially on tinder just like you know tinder is
3
SPEAKER_01
the app for people that just want to fuck.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I can t even do that.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, again, again, I mean, people say that they re like, oh, Tinder s the app for people who just want to fuck, but I, you know, I have, I have, I have, uh, a couple of really good friends who are in, like, long-term relationships from Tinder.
3
SPEAKER_00
The app, the apps, the people, apps are just, like, fucking services that connect people.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s, it s the actual relationship you have with the person once the app is connecting you to them is reflective of the person itself and reflective of, of you.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
So, but anyway, that s, you know, I guess like, I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_00
So you say this is your first time that you ve been, uh, alone in, or are you like a, uh, a serial monogamist as, as they might call them?
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, no, not necessarily, but I ve never been into like polyamory or like, you know, doing before when I, when I got with this,
3
SPEAKER_01
toxic relationship guy.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was sleeping with him and then also sleeping with another guy and it was kind of like I was talking to a couple of guys and it was that, but it always just seems to fall to one person.
3
SPEAKER_01
I feel like I m just more comfortable with one person.
3
SPEAKER_01
I feel like talking to a lot of people and sleeping with a lot of people at the same time is kind of a lot of work, to be honest.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I don t really have a lot of time to do that either.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I m a pilot.
3
SPEAKER_01
I just got my pilot s license and I m doing training at school and I go to school Monday through Saturday.
3
SPEAKER_01
So it s kind of hard to keep up with a lot of people at the same time.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I don t have, I feel like I don t have enough people.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
That doesn t really make sense.
3
SPEAKER_01
I guess it s really contradict, contradictory.
3
SPEAKER_00
When you went, when you went to the, when you, so you went to the club by yourself and you, you, did you like try to talk to anyone there?
3
SPEAKER_01
Absolutely not.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, I did not talk to anybody there because, because I couldn t find anybody that was alone.
3
SPEAKER_01
If I could have found somebody that was alone, I could have probably, you know, went up to them and be like, yo, what s up?
3
SPEAKER_01
I like your shirt or really like, were you, were you, were you there?
3
SPEAKER_00
Like looking like, what did you have a mission while you were there?
3
SPEAKER_00
Were you just like, I want to meet people.
3
SPEAKER_00
What was your, what was your mission?
3
SPEAKER_00
What was your mission?
3
SPEAKER_01
I was going to get somebody s number that night.
3
SPEAKER_01
My mission was I m going to try and get somebody s number that night, but literally it was a Friday night, a Friday night before, um, actually last Friday night of spring break before
3
SPEAKER_01
Yesterday was St.
3
SPEAKER_01
Patrick s Day.
3
SPEAKER_01
So yeah, it was last Friday.
3
SPEAKER_01
So everybody was with a group or a partner.
3
SPEAKER_01
And one of my biggest fears of like walking up to a guy or something is like they re with their girlfriend and like, some bitches out here are crazy.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t want anybody to get the wrong idea.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because my first intention is always make friends first.
3
SPEAKER_01
And you know, like, do whatever adult shit later.
3
SPEAKER_00
Um, but yeah, do you know how many, do you know how many single guys go out to the bars or the clubs at night and just wish that someone would come talk to them?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I would have totally done it, but it s just like everybody was paired up or in a, or in a huge group.
3
SPEAKER_01
So it s kind of weird, maybe I should have just gone to the bar instead of a club.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_00
That takes a lot of balls.
3
SPEAKER_00
But also, it s like, dude, I know you re in your head about it, but secretly, isn t that what everyone wants?
3
SPEAKER_00
Isn t that why you go out to the bar and the club to have an experience, meet new people?
3
SPEAKER_00
When you walk up to a group of people or a stranger and you start talking to them, in a way, you re doing them a service.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know, like, cause you re, cause you re, uh, that s, that s what they wanted out of going out is to meet new people and experience life.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I guess I, I assume that most of the time, I guess some people just want to go out to a bar and only talk to their friends, but, um, you know.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, I totally get that.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I mean, I, I m, like I said, I m only 22 and I ve never really had many experiences with bars and clubs.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, but yeah, I ve been starting to go out more and I hope to go out again, preferably with somebody, a friend, just so that I don t feel like so awkward and weird about it.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I feel like I could totally go out to a bar and talk to somebody.
3
SPEAKER_01
I would just need to find the right bar because most of the bars around this town are just like only old people or criminals.
3
SPEAKER_01
Or just, you know, people that I m not really looking for.
3
SPEAKER_00
Can I ask, you don t have to get too specific if you don t want to, but like where, what, can I ask you what city this is?
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah, like I live in Ormond Beach and that s a small town right by Daytona Beach, Florida.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s like the world s most famous beach, but it s really just a tourist town for whenever Bike Week or October, or Biketoberfest comes along.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, it s like a motorcycle town.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then obviously there s the college of Daytona state here and my college.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, but it s really small.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was like really like pretty rundown tourist town.
3
SPEAKER_01
A lot of homeless people, a lot of drug addicts and shootings and whatnot.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s not really, really that unsafe, but I mean, shit happens everywhere you go.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I think you got the right idea, man.
3
SPEAKER_00
Putting yourself out there.
3
SPEAKER_00
Trying to make friends.
3
SPEAKER_00
Because that s the thing, that s what I ve realized, is, um...
3
SPEAKER_00
No one s gonna hand you your life on a silver platter, you know what I mean?
3
SPEAKER_00
You actually have to go out, whether it s the bars, or the dating apps, or whatever, and you actually have to put yourself, like, your, you know, your perfect boyfriend or girlfriend aren t just gonna, and your, you know, group of friends, they re not just gonna appear in your lap.
3
SPEAKER_00
You have to actually, like, go do a bunch of fucking work.
3
SPEAKER_00
It sucks!
3
SPEAKER_00
Maybe it doesn t suck.
3
SPEAKER_00
Maybe it s good.
3
SPEAKER_00
I shouldn t say it sucks.
3
SPEAKER_00
It sucks a lot.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m not going to deny that it sucks.
3
SPEAKER_01
It definitely does.
3
SPEAKER_00
I really do.
3
SPEAKER_00
I really try to be positive and optimistic about things, but God, it sucks.
3
SPEAKER_00
It sucks.
3
SPEAKER_00
You have to do work.
3
SPEAKER_00
It would be so nice if everyone was just born with friends and fucking romantic partners and all these things, but you actually have to go out and you not only...
3
SPEAKER_00
Listen how crazy and fucked up this is.
3
SPEAKER_00
You not only have to go out and find and make connections with other people, you also have to, like, improve yourself and shit to, like, make it so that other people want to be around you.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s fucking lame.
3
SPEAKER_00
You gotta be constantly working on yourself.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I mean, that s part of it.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s constant.
3
SPEAKER_00
You don t just do it once and then you re cool forever.
3
SPEAKER_00
You have to always be fucking working on yourself.
3
SPEAKER_00
You have to stay in shape so that you re physically attractive.
3
SPEAKER_00
You have to do all these things.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s such a nightmare.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but you know what?
3
SPEAKER_01
That aspect isn t even that hard for me.
3
SPEAKER_01
My issue is finding people that are up to that standard.
3
SPEAKER_01
Up to, you know,
3
SPEAKER_01
wanting to constantly improve, wanting to, like, that strive on personal growth, that are working on goals, that, you know, and I understand people getting ruts.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, I m in a rut right now.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m, my apartment is a fucking mess after that breakup, and I haven t done my dishes in, like, over a month.
3
SPEAKER_01
But, like,
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I m still going to school.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like there s still the things that are more important than doing my damn dishes.
3
SPEAKER_01
I live by myself.
3
SPEAKER_01
It would be different if I had somebody living with me.
3
SPEAKER_01
That would be kind of gross.
3
SPEAKER_01
But like, I mean, it s still gross.
3
SPEAKER_01
But what I mean is like, I ve always been with like, I guess, babies.
3
SPEAKER_01
They don t like these guys don t want to improve.
3
SPEAKER_01
And it kind of just feels like they want to take advantage of what I have.
3
SPEAKER_01
It may not be directly that, it might be indirectly that, but it s just like, bruh.
3
SPEAKER_01
The last guy I was with, I don t even know why I was with him.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, I know I was with him.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was with him because I always see the good in people and I feel like he really had the potential to be a better person, but he didn t have a high school diploma.
3
SPEAKER_01
He couldn t keep a job.
3
SPEAKER_01
He lived with his parents.
3
SPEAKER_01
He didn t really benefit me in any way besides the potential of getting better.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I don t know why I m so attracted to that.
3
SPEAKER_01
If he could get better, I can be there for him.
4
SPEAKER_00
That would be great like I love the idea of growing somebody, but you can t always grow with somebody I guess you know it s um This brings up some stuff that I was actually I was actually talking to some friends about this recently is this um Well, okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
I ll say this first I think This is a realm of life.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s it s it s
4
SPEAKER_00
these two things kind of tie into each other um the idea of like being picky when you re selecting your romantic partner and how that is like can sometimes be good and sometimes be bad i think it s a good thing i mean this is an important fucking part of of life and uh if you re not picky enough you will waste a lot of
4
SPEAKER_00
time and energy and emotions and what I was going to say is I ve been talking to my friends about this is this weird dynamic between like the two schools of thought in relationships which are do you search and search and search and be picky and be picky and be picky until you find somebody
4
SPEAKER_00
who you re compatible with on like a like almost like a hundred percent or ninety percent or whatever or do you pick someone and fucking make it work and grow together until you make yourselves compatible with one another and I don t
4
SPEAKER_00
I genuinely and this is why I was talking to my friends about this is like I don t I don t know which of those two schools are the the quote-unquote right one and then like when if you are in a relationship like at what point
4
SPEAKER_00
Do you do you go okay?
4
SPEAKER_00
This is a fundamental.
4
SPEAKER_00
We ve we ve grown enough or been around each other for long enough that we ve discovered these sort of fundamental incompatibilities do we a Cut our losses and move on until we find someone who s more compatible with us Or maybe we ve grown in different directions, or do we be?
4
SPEAKER_00
Fucking sit there and go to therapy and work on it together, and I don t I don t know I really don t know I
4
SPEAKER_01
See, when I was in that predicament, I only had really one person to go to, and that was my aunt, because she was really the only person that actually is still currently experiencing what I was going through, a toxic relationship with a drug addict that would beat the shit out of her.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I don t know if he s still doing it.
4
SPEAKER_01
She says he s not.
4
SPEAKER_01
She says he s sober.
4
SPEAKER_01
She says that he stopped beating her.
4
SPEAKER_01
It just, before he actually made the switch, he actually inadvertently put her in the hospital because he was beating the fuck out of her in her kitchen.
4
SPEAKER_01
She couldn t get anywhere.
4
SPEAKER_01
And mind you, my aunt, she s an Alabama country girl redneck who raises like 30 American bullies and has guns all over the house.
4
SPEAKER_01
And for this motherfucker to be able to trap her in the one area of the house that she couldn t get her gun to protect herself is fucking wild.
4
SPEAKER_01
But anyway, like he was beating her senseless in her kitchen and her dog.
4
SPEAKER_01
He was like on top of her on the floor and her dog was so riled up at this point.
4
SPEAKER_01
He went to go attack her, but she like moved her arm, I guess, you know, fighting him.
4
SPEAKER_01
And that dog bit her and it ripped her arm to shreds.
4
SPEAKER_01
It looked like she got fucking attacked by an alligator.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like these photos that I got were ridiculous.
4
SPEAKER_00
She was getting beaten by this guy.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then on top of that, the dog bit her?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
On top of everything, the dog fucking bit her and would not let go.
4
SPEAKER_01
But you know, when the dog bit her, the dude was like, Oh my God, what the fuck?
4
SPEAKER_01
And you know, he was trying to do whatever.
4
SPEAKER_01
Literally, all he needed to do was get a belt to wrap around her arm so that she wouldn t bleed out.
4
SPEAKER_01
And the motherfucker was wearing a belt the whole time.
4
SPEAKER_01
But, you know, everybody was so freaked out.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, they didn t really know what to do.
4
SPEAKER_01
But eventually, like, she went to the hospital.
4
SPEAKER_01
She had to get surgery.
4
SPEAKER_01
As soon as I found that out, like, I went straight to Alabama, drove the seven hour drive down there.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I stayed with her for like a whole week.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, with my other brother too, like just taking care of her and the dude wasn t there.
4
SPEAKER_01
The dude was out of the house and whatnot.
4
SPEAKER_01
And that was when they really broke up.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, Twitter God, if you get back with this guy, blah, blah, blah.
4
SPEAKER_01
You shouldn t be having to deal with this.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, to make a long story short, they re together now and they re doing great.
4
SPEAKER_01
So it s just like, I had to contact her and I was like, look, Diana, like, this is what I m going through right now.
4
SPEAKER_01
And you re the only other person that is semi-close to what I m going through.
4
SPEAKER_01
Toxic relationships, kind of got, you know, physically and mentally abused by this guy.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I m a little traumatized, but I love him.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I don t really know whether to stick it out or not.
4
SPEAKER_01
And her advice was pretty much like, I don t want to be a hypocrite, but I would be a bad aunt if I didn t say run for the hills, man, like get as far away from him as you can.
4
SPEAKER_01
But if you really love him and you really think you can work it out, you gotta work not only with him, but with his family.
4
SPEAKER_01
He s gotta get sober.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it s gonna be hard, but I can be a hypocrite on one side and say it the other on the other.
4
SPEAKER_01
Ultimately, I tried to tell him, look, let s just be friends.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it worked for a second, but
4
SPEAKER_01
I had to remember like before we even got together, we were friends and he couldn t really even be a good friend.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like he was, he s too emotionally attached and too obsessed with me to be my friend right now.
4
SPEAKER_01
So that s how that kind of ended.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I hope she s good, but you always have those scars, you know?
4
SPEAKER_00
I hope she s good too, man.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, I mean, goddamn, I guess it s, uh, it s, it s, it s very, uh, useful that you, you got to talk to someone close to you who s been in a similar situation.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I really liked her answer too.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, she didn t want to be a hypocrite, but she was also really trying to get in with her, her situation and
4
SPEAKER_01
She just made me understand, like, look, if you feel like you have to have your gun on you when you re with him, it s not love.
4
SPEAKER_01
If you feel like he s going to trap you, it s not love.
4
SPEAKER_01
And that s just basically it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I feel like those are two, uh, very accurate statements.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, I ve, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I just feel like I can t trust, I couldn t trust him anymore.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it s really hard.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m the type of person that,
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loves real hard, cares real hard, and trusts real hard until you lose my trust.
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If you break my trust, it s gonna be nearly impossible to gain it back.
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It s gonna be years for you to be able to gain my trust back because it s just like, I give it all, you know?
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And if you break it, especially for no good reason, it s just like, it breaks me to the point where I kinda like shut myself
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out from everybody else s emotions.
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Apart from that moment, I m always thinking about other people s emotions first before my own.
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Well, I can t say first before my own.
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I always think about myself first, because I m my most important person.
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But I m just that caring.
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And if somebody breaks my trust, then it s pretty much over after that.
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And I feel like so many times that I ve had
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My trust broken.
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I fear that I m going to get trust issues and not be able to trust any guy ever.
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I don t want that to happen either.
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I don t want to be that type of bitch.
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I don t want to be like the bitch with the trust issues.
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That s crazy.
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Like I m not, I feel like I m a pretty chill individual, but it s just like, at this point, I feel like I m close to my breaking point in relationships yet.
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I crave one so badly.
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I don t want to.
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lower my standards just because I m lonely, but I don t know how to fill a void until then.
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I m going to tell you, I m going to tell you something.
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Uh, and maybe, uh, uh, yeah, you know, uh, this whole idea of like, the longer you go being lonely, the more you ll be like, willing to accept a situation that s like below your own standards.
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Um,
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You know, that s not a good, uh, it s not a good, it s not a good negotiating position with yourself.
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You know what I m saying?
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It s not a good negotiation position to be in.
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Now, how exactly you get yourself out of that situation so that you can be in a better, let s call it, negotiating position with yourself and with your life and with the relationships and things you choose to enter.
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I m no expert on that, but I think it sounds like you re doing the right thing by putting yourself out there and by trying to cultivate this like abundance mindset, right?
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Because when you go to, when you do these things that are positive for yourself, like go to the, you know, get yourself outside of your comfort zone and succeed.
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You ll start to realize like, yo, I m actually pretty cool.
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I m actually pretty able to find people that I like.
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And you will find yourself in a better bargaining position.
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But it s hard because you because if you re lonely and like there s an antidote to your loneliness You know right fucking there You know sometimes it s like I don t care if that antidote to my loneliness, you know hits me like I just don t want to be alone right, but You know and so I understand I understand the I
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the impulse, for sure, but I think if you hold out a little bit longer and you try to develop those parts of yourself that wanna, you know, do things like put yourself out there and go on adventures and improve yourself and talk to people and whatnot and you fucking hold strong to it, I think you ll find something better than if you had just kinda settled for something less out of loneliness.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, you re totally right.
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And to be honest, I m a fucking badass.
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I don t see why people don t talk to me more often.
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You re a fucking top gun maverick, dude.
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Well, my dream is to be an astronaut, but I think...
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becoming Top Gun Maverick, that would be pretty close.
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Like the new yeah, that s right.
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That s what I figured.
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That s what I think I hate I probably only hated it cuz I ve never seen the original Top Gun and I was watching it and I m like I m sure if I watched the first one I would like this one But I hated it so much and my my qualms with it are probably negated by the fact that I haven t seen the first one But I was watching it and I was like this is not how real people I just I like movies where like it feels like you re the real people and this felt like a movie with actors reciting dialogue to each other and
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Like, God, it was 40 minutes.
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Nothing fucking happened for the first 40 minutes.
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They re in a bar, just, like, trying to be cool for, like, 40 minutes.
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It was just, it was painful, but whatever.
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A bunch of people are gonna be like, oh, you didn t see the first one, you don t understand this guy, this thing, and whatever.
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Anyway, anyway.
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I promise you, if you watch the first one, and then you watch the second one, you ll understand, and you ll really like it, because you ll get into the story and the background of everything, because that bar is very specific to the first movie.
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and the songs, the characters, it all fits in with the first movie.
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So I would definitely suggest watch the first movie and then give the second movie another chance.
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Like, a real chance.
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And I feel like you re really close.
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Cause the second movie is just like, it s a bunch of close-up shots of like some sad black and white guy and I m like, oh, I guess I would feel sad about this guy if I saw the first one.
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But anyway, fucking... You would totally feel sad, dude!
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Nadia, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
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Yeah.
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Everybody, don t settle for whatever s out there.
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Take your time.
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It s gonna suck.
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Get a fucking vibrator and go clubbing by yourself and get ridiculously drunk.
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Make sure you buy an Uber and stay safe.
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Amen.
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Live life to the fullest.
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Take care, Nadia.
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Thanks for calling.
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Take care, Lyle.
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Have a good night.
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People always forget that no matter what, you can always sit at home and jack off.
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And no one will ever be able to take that away from you.