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Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous.
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I m Dan Rather, and I m joined by Mr. Mouse.
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Go ahead and turn off this episode right now.
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You can t listen to any of them.
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Yeah, don t even listen to the intro.
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You might puke in the intro.
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Well, we were gonna try to get it so that the last one was the grossest, but I don t think.
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It is, but they re all bad.
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Yeah, I mean, look.
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Except the first one.
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The topic, of course, is piercing and tattoos.
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So if you let your imagination run wild, you ll come to some of these.
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Oh, these are rough.
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I mean.
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They re really good, but seriously, do not eat while listening.
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No, I don t think you should do anything where you re not free to dry heave a little bit without interrupting what else you re doing.
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Right, is that a good?
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Yeah.
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Again, yeah, you can listen to the first one and then shut it right off, yeah.
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And I don t even know if tune in ever again, to be honest.
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These were great, I fucking loved them.
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Yeah, they were.
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Please enjoy piercing and tattoo stories.
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Wow, I ve gotten 11.11 three days in a row and that s good luck.
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Oh, three days in a row?
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Mm-hmm.
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What do you mean, three days in a row?
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Three days in a row, I look at my phone at 11 a.m.
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Oh, okay, you ve looked.
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It is good luck.
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You make a wish.
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Piercing and tattoos.
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Oh God, this one s gonna be hard.
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Oh God.
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Hello.
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Am I talking to Sid?
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Yes.
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Hi Sid, nice to meet you.
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You know what s stupid is despite this being a piercing and tattoo prompt, it didn t cross my mind that when I signed on, I d be talking to someone heavily tattooed and pierced, but duh.
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Yes, and I m a tattooer.
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Oh you are.
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Nice.
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I m calling from the bathroom of my tattoo shop.
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Oh no shit.
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Now, you would call yourself a tattooer, not a tattoo artist or a tattooist?
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I like tattooer because you don t say painter artist or sculptor artist.
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That s a good point.
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And it s very unpretentious as well.
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I try.
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Okay, so this is great.
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So my assumption now is that you re going to have a story about giving a tattoo as opposed to receiving.
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I do.
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Oh, please tell us.
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I ve been tattooing for almost 12 years.
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And this was in my first couple of years.
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So it was probably, I can t math that.
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It was a while ago.
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So I worked at a very walk-in heavy shop and didn t have a lot of my own clientele.
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We just had a lot of people coming in off the street.
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This man came in and it was my turn to do the next tattoo.
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And the counter girl was talking to him and he had said that his wife had been in Germany
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and she got a tattoo for him, and he wanted to get one that matched to surprise her for when she got home.
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And he showed me the tattoo, and it was on her ankle as a name.
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It said Clifford.
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And he said, so I need to find a font that matches that.
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So at that shop, we had a big book full of fonts.
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So we gave him the book, and he s going through it.
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And in the meantime, he had filled out his paperwork, and we got his ID.
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His name was Dave or something, John, something very plain.
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Not Clifford.
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Not Clifford.
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And so he picked out a font and we typed up and he s like, yeah, that s perfect.
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But the S need to come down some more.
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And I was like, okay.
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So typed up Clifford.
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I printed it out.
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I drew in to bring the S down some more.
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He s perfect.
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And then we resized it three or four times in a perfect size.
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And then he comes to the back to my station and we put the stencil on.
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It was going on the back of his shoulder.
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We moved the stencil three or four times.
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So it d be in the perfect spot.
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I do the tattoo, takes like 10 minutes.
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It s just a little name.
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And he looks at it in the mirror and he goes, what the fuck?
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And he s like, I got my own name tattooed on myself.
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Wait, what?
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Apparently he goes by Clifford.
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And then his anxiety of getting this tattoo, he ended up getting his own name instead of having me change it to
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Catherine.
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Wait, what?
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But he saw... Well, I know why, because he brought in the photo of Clifford and he got myopically obsessed with the font and it looking correct.
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And he didn t think, wait, I m not getting Clifford, I m getting her name.
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How could any... Wait, no.
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This is so insane.
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The fact that you did three stencils, though, that he should have at that point.
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Oh yeah, he saw it a dozen times.
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Oh, this person deserves that.
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He was screaming at me to where my boss had to come over and see what was going on.
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Our front reception area was very separate.
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So I ran back up front and I was talking to our receptionist.
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I was like, that s not my fault, right?
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100% not my fault.
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She was like, no.
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So I ran back to my station.
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My boss had calmed the guy down.
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He finally was laughing at himself.
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Oh my God.
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So we ended up adding Love s Catherine underneath it.
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That s a great solution.
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Whose idea was that?
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That s a great fix.
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I think mine.
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I don t remember.
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I can t imagine it was his.
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He clearly was not very smart.
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Wow.
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It was very stressful, especially as a woman being yelled at by this man.
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He was older than me and it was very scary for a minute, but then he was fine.
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The moment of him looking at it.
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Oh my God, realizing, oh fuck.
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I mean, I m not gonna say haven t done stuff equally as stupid.
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You have never done something like that.
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I haven t tattooed the wrong name on myself, but I have done several things that once it occurred to me, I m like, how could I have possibly missed that?
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Or what on earth was I thinking?
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I was asleep there or something.
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I totally got how it happened, but it was a shit show for a minute.
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Oh, wow.
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Now, did he get the other two words for free because of his own mistake?
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No!
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He did, yeah.
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I didn t charge him.
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What?
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No!
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That s so unfair.
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You put in your time and effort.
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You got yelled at.
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And I don t remember if he tipped me.
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It s been too long.
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I can t imagine he did tip.
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Oh, Clifford slash Dave, who loves Catherine.
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God.
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He does.
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I hope they re still together.
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I m very happy.
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I don t know.
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I have low expectations.
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I don t know why.
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I do.
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But Katherine s gotta be like, oh boy, what happened, Clifford?
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That would be enough for me to end a relationship.
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Hilarious story from then on.
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It d be fun.
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Oh my God.
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That s a good point.
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That s a good point.
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Well, you re very glass half full.
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And I m all about silly tattoos.
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I m covered in them.
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How is your body from doing it?
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Cause every time I m getting a tattoo, I m overly aware of how un-ergonomic it is to give one.
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And I know how pained dental hygienists are.
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They sometimes have ribs removed is common.
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They have all this repetitive stress disorder.
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Are you fucked up from it at all?
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My shoulders and neck are pretty terrible.
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I hunch like this.
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I have a client waiting right now.
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I told her we had to take a quick break so I could go hide in the bathroom and talk to you guys.
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What s the longest tattoo session you ve ever had?
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On myself, eight hours, which I can t do anymore.
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I did that when I was much younger.
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But doing them, I can
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Kind of top it out at four if I get tired.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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And then what s the most amount of hours in a day you can do it?
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So if you did four and then you took a break, would you return or you re done at four period?
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I usually work eight hours a day.
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Wow.
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so I can make my own hours and do what I want.
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Oh, that s great.
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And there s a steady supply of customers there in Des Moines?
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Oh yeah, I m booked out into mid-January right now.
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Awesome!
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Congratulations.
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Thank you.
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So if you re ever in Des Moines, you gotta come get tattooed.
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A liquid sword tattoo in Des Moines, Iowa.
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Wow, okay.
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Could you hide a cherry in this next client s body?
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Would you feel ethically compromised if we just hid a cherry in there?
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Probably not the one I m doing right now.
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That wouldn t really be easy to hide.
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I m doing a big leafy wrap around her lower leg.
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Oh, wow.
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Okay, yeah, it s not gonna work.
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I m sure I can in some tattoo somewhere.
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I should get a cherry.
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Yeah, why not?
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What s your policy on doing genitals and faces?
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Faces I ll do all day long.
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I got a bunch of face tattoos.
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Okay, great.
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But genitals, I used to joke that I had a thousand dollar handling fee.
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But then I got scared of who would take me up on that.
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And so now I just won t do it.
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If it was a good friend, I might, or like my husband.
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Someone you trust.
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But other than that, no, I don t want to tattoo the kind of person who would want me to tattoo their job.
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Yeah, that s really fair.
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And you re much smarter than Clifford Dave.
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I ll tattoo butts and boobs and stuff all day long.
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Okay, that s fair.
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Well, Sid, this has been wonderful getting to meet you.
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Awesome to meet you guys.
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I ve been listening since day one and my husband listens.
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Will you ever subject your clients to it?
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Will you ever play it out loud while you re tattooing?
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I don t, cause I also have four coworkers.
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Right now I can hear there s some death tones happening out there.
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Okay.
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Podcasts don t seem tattoo shop friendly.
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People need some music.
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But we love mixed messages.
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I could try it.
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Can you imagine that you re getting a tattoo, you re so excited, you ve dreamt of this for however long, and then you re listening to one of our very emotional ones about abuse in a relationship, and you re just like, oh boy, this isn t the experience I was after.
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I could play him my favorite one.
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My favorite s been Tillin Pauly.
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I could play him that.
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Early days.
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Early, early.
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I know, I loved him though.
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My dream would be Killer Mike.
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If you guys could get Killer Mike on there, I would shit my pants and then I could call in for a shit your pants arm challenge.
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Well, I want you to know I have gone as far as writing him an email and a text.
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I got his number at one point.
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So I very much would love to interview killer Mike.
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He s just not been receptive thus far.
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All right.
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Well, Sid, good luck with the wraparound leafy tattoo on the leg today.
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And it s great to meet you.
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You too.
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Thank you so much.
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It s great to meet you guys.
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All right.
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Take care.
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I love it.
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We don t generally meet arm cherries that are all tattooed and pierced up.
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Well, this is a ding, ding, ding, a Sim.
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Okay.
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A dad.
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I told you yesterday, but I ll pretend like you haven t heard it.
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Oh.
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I was at Kara a couple of nights ago.
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Oh, you went to Kara?
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I got to really pretend like I haven t heard it.
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Oh, yeah.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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At first I was like, yeah, I already told you.
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So the other day I went to Kara.
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Okay.
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Oh my gosh.
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You love that place.
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Yeah, I do.
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I do.
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It was good.
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I went with Anna and an arm cherry came up.
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A boy or a girl?
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Girl.
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Her name is Peyton.
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Shout out.
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Shout out.
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Peyton has a tattoo of cherries for this show.
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Now, the first time you told me the story, I only heard cherry.
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There s multiple cherries?
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Well, two.
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Oh.
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You can t just have one cherry.
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I have many one cherries.
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Oh yeah, you can have that chair.
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I can, but Peyton can t.
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I mean, that s because it s all in one scape, but if you- It s raining cherries on there.
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Look, also, you re right, you can do whatever you want.
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Right.
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But she had two.
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Okay, yeah, the textbook two.
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Exactly, it was textbook.
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Right, like from the early sweatshirts.
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It was like an outline, red, it was really cute, it was behind her ear.
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Oh, behind her ear.
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It was cute.
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Oh, fuck, should I get one behind my ear?
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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Anyway, it was a Sim.
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Sim Sim.
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Sim Sid.
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Oh my god.
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Sim Sim.
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Alex.
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Hi.
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Uh-oh.
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Still connecting, still connecting.
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It s so stressful.
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I think, is it us?
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Cause the last connection was bad too.
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No, this was just her audio connecting from her computer.
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Okay.
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Wouldn t it be funny if people were not in a closet, but they wanted to follow the rules, like they didn t have a closet.
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So they d made it look like a closet, but it wasn t one.
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Like on construction paper, they drew clothes hanging and stuff.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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Hi, can you hear me?
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Yay.
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Good job.
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SPEAKER_02
Hi.
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SPEAKER_01
We did it.
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SPEAKER_02
Sorry about that.
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SPEAKER_02
That s okay.
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SPEAKER_01
Certainly not your fault.
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Oh, it was.
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SPEAKER_03
No, it s just too hard.
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SPEAKER_01
Where are you at, Alex, other than a closet?
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SPEAKER_03
I am in Virginia, and sorry, my dog just slammed into the door, so he s on the other side.
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SPEAKER_01
Is he a big boy or a tiny boy?
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SPEAKER_03
He is a 102 pound German shepherd.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh my Lord, that s a big German shepherd.
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SPEAKER_03
Oh yeah, he s huge.
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SPEAKER_01
Wow, wow, wow.
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SPEAKER_03
My husband s in the military, so he did two deployments and I was like, I m getting a dog while you re gone.
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SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that s fair.
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SPEAKER_01
That s big enough to snuggle like a real human.
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SPEAKER_03
Yeah, right.
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SPEAKER_03
He got back from deployment and was like, oh, who s sleeping in the bed now?
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SPEAKER_01
So were you the receiver or the giver of a piercing or a tattoo?
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SPEAKER_03
I was the receiver.
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SPEAKER_03
I got my rook pierced.
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SPEAKER_03
Your what pierced?
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SPEAKER_03
My rook.
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SPEAKER_03
What the fuck is a rook?
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SPEAKER_01
We don t know what that is.
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Other than in chess, the castle.
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So the rook is like the hard cartilage that s right in the middle of your ear and they basically just shove a bar through it.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh, like vertical?
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The doodad right here.
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Yeah, it s kind of like at a slant, but this thick cartilage, like right here, like that s your rod.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh, not the doodad.
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The big, big crease in the middle of your ear.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
The fold, the convolution, that right there, that ridge.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh, right.
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SPEAKER_01
That makes sense that they gotta come straight down on it.
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SPEAKER_03
Okay, okay.
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SPEAKER_01
Real quick, what encouraged you to get that in the first place?
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SPEAKER_03
I had my earlobes pierced and then I had two cartilage piercings and I thought I was being edgy at 18.
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SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
Are you not still 18?
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SPEAKER_03
No, I m 28.
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So this was about 10 years ago.
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Okay.
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So like all good stories.
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This one starts at the Jersey shore.
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SPEAKER_03
Oh, perfect.
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SPEAKER_01
Are you from New Jersey originally?
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SPEAKER_03
Yes.
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SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_03
I m from New Jersey.
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SPEAKER_03
So after prom, a bunch of my friends and I, my senior year of high school rented a house down the Jersey shore, but
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SPEAKER_03
It was about eight months after Hurricane Sandy.
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SPEAKER_03
So a lot of destruction and not many businesses were open and the boardwalk was like kind of open.
1
SPEAKER_03
So there wasn t much to do other than drink and go get an ear piercing.
1
SPEAKER_01
But Alex, 10 years ago, aren t we in the thick of Jersey Shore the show or was that longer ago?
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SPEAKER_03
I think it was like wrapping up, but it wasn t the same area.
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SPEAKER_03
I think that s in Seaside Heights.
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SPEAKER_03
We were like a little bit North of there.
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SPEAKER_01
Okay.
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SPEAKER_01
Which is classier.
1
SPEAKER_01
No.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh no.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
Perfect.
1
SPEAKER_03
So go ahead and go get my rook pierced.
1
SPEAKER_03
Again, thought I was being edgy, thought I was so cool, like going to get a pierce with a couple of my friends.
1
SPEAKER_03
You know, the week goes by, I go home and I m like, this is kind of infected.
1
SPEAKER_03
And I showed my mom and she s like, it s all good.
1
SPEAKER_03
You know, put a hot compress on it, you know, just clean it.
1
SPEAKER_03
You re good.
1
SPEAKER_03
Drink some juice.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, she s like, so not worried.
1
SPEAKER_03
So I m not worried, right?
1
SPEAKER_03
I m 18.
1
SPEAKER_03
I could take care of myself.
1
SPEAKER_03
So graduate, go to the graduation party.
1
SPEAKER_03
And my mom s like, you should ask Dr. A about your ear.
1
SPEAKER_03
She s another friend s dad.
1
SPEAKER_03
And I m like, Dr. A is a dentist.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God.
1
SPEAKER_02
Your mom is just like me.
1
SPEAKER_02
Anytime I meet anyone even remotely connected to the medical field, I m like, oh my God, check this out.
1
SPEAKER_03
Exactly.
1
SPEAKER_03
My mom s like, just go ask him.
1
SPEAKER_03
He ll know what to do.
1
SPEAKER_03
And Dr. A goes, you need to go to urgent care immediately.
1
SPEAKER_03
At this point, I have full-blown cauliflower ear.
1
SPEAKER_03
Like it is just so badly infected.
1
SPEAKER_03
And I was like kind of covering it up with my hair because I had long blonde hair and I could do that.
1
SPEAKER_01
Was it painful or just visually fucked?
1
SPEAKER_03
At this point, it wasn t painful.
1
SPEAKER_03
It was just visually like, wow, that looks really not good.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Are you getting PTSD, Monica?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_03
Monica, I ve heard your story and I relate to you so much.
1
SPEAKER_01
She went to Dr. S.
1
SPEAKER_03
So go to Urgent Care and Urgent Care is like, okay, we re going to try and take it out.
1
SPEAKER_03
I ll let you guys know, my mom and I tried to take it out.
1
SPEAKER_03
We were on YouTube.
1
SPEAKER_03
We couldn t figure out how to get it off because it was a bar.
1
SPEAKER_02
It wasn t like a regular piercing.
1
SPEAKER_02
Fuck, it was probably so swollen around the bar.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, not good.
1
SPEAKER_03
So go to Urgent Care.
1
SPEAKER_03
Urgent Care is like, okay, can t get it out.
1
SPEAKER_03
They re like, let s try giving you some antibiotics to make the swelling go down and come back and we ll try and get it out.
1
SPEAKER_03
The swelling doesn t go down.
1
SPEAKER_03
I go back and there s a doctor there that s able to get it out, but they had to like pin me to the table and take a tool to get it out.
1
SPEAKER_03
And at this point, I m so anxious.
1
SPEAKER_03
I m so overwhelmed.
1
SPEAKER_03
I m scared.
1
SPEAKER_03
I m in pain.
1
SPEAKER_03
And my mom s like, you re fine.
1
SPEAKER_03
All s good.
1
SPEAKER_03
I m like literally sweating from my kneecaps.
1
SPEAKER_03
I m so anxious.
1
SPEAKER_03
It is just the worst.
1
SPEAKER_03
So they get it out, and they re like, OK, go take some antibiotics.
1
SPEAKER_03
If it s not better, you need to go see an ENT, which is an ear, nose, and throat doctor.
1
SPEAKER_03
Take the antibiotics.
1
SPEAKER_03
Doesn t get any better.
1
SPEAKER_03
So at this point, it s like the end of June, and it s been like a month.
1
SPEAKER_03
And it is getting worse.
1
SPEAKER_03
It s getting discolored.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, gangrenous.
1
SPEAKER_03
It was like purple.
1
SPEAKER_03
Oh my God, even with the antibiotics.
1
SPEAKER_03
Wow.
1
SPEAKER_01
They re only so powerful.
1
SPEAKER_02
Modern medicine is not where it should be.
1
SPEAKER_03
Modern medicine is not helping.
1
SPEAKER_03
And I go to the ENT and he s like, you need to have surgery immediately.
1
SPEAKER_03
We need to cut the infection out.
1
SPEAKER_03
He didn t want to scare me, but he was like, there s a chance we have to cut your ear off.
1
SPEAKER_03
No!
1
SPEAKER_03
Oh my God.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God, you re going to be Van Gogh.
1
SPEAKER_01
We gotta give you the Van Gogh.
1
SPEAKER_03
Oh, fuck.
1
SPEAKER_03
But he s like, they make prosthetic ears.
1
SPEAKER_03
I am like six or seven weeks from going to my freshman year of college.
1
SPEAKER_03
Oh my god.
1
SPEAKER_03
I m like, my life s over.
1
SPEAKER_03
I can t go to college with one ear.
1
SPEAKER_03
Oh my god.
1
SPEAKER_03
What?
1
SPEAKER_03
This is traumatic.
1
SPEAKER_03
So I go the next day to surgery.
1
SPEAKER_03
They cut out the infection.
1
SPEAKER_03
Thank goodness they didn t have to cut out my ear.
1
SPEAKER_03
Thank god.
1
SPEAKER_03
They admit me to the hospital because they want to keep me overnight and they put me in the children s so my mom could stay with me, which was really nice.
1
SPEAKER_03
The doctor was really nice.
1
SPEAKER_03
All the nurses were really great.
1
SPEAKER_03
Come back the next day and they re like, the infection looks good.
1
SPEAKER_03
We think we got it all.
1
SPEAKER_03
You look great.
1
SPEAKER_03
However, now you have a staph infection.
1
SPEAKER_03
So you have to stay in the hospital for another four to five days because they wouldn t let me go home.
1
SPEAKER_03
So at this point, it s like 4th of July, and I can t tell you, I had the most wonderful experience in the hospital.
1
SPEAKER_03
The nurses were fabulous.
1
SPEAKER_03
They painted my nails.
1
SPEAKER_03
They played cards with me.
1
SPEAKER_03
They opened up all the windows so I could watch all the fireworks.
1
SPEAKER_03
They felt so bad for me.
1
SPEAKER_03
Oh, wow.
1
SPEAKER_03
That s really sweet.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, so my head is wrapped up like I had brain surgery.
1
SPEAKER_03
My mom has taken so many pictures of me and I look like a crazy person.
1
SPEAKER_03
And so on the last day I m there, the doctor, who at this point was so nice, I saw him every day.
1
SPEAKER_03
He comes in, he goes, okay, you can go home.
1
SPEAKER_03
Before I take the, they put a tube in my ear to like help drain some of the swelling and infection.
1
SPEAKER_03
You know, before you go, can I ask a favor?
1
SPEAKER_03
And I was like, sure.
1
SPEAKER_03
He s like, could I take a picture of your ear so I could use you as the poster child for why you shouldn t get piercings?
2
SPEAKER_04
If you do, why you should really take good care of them.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, wow.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh my God.
2
SPEAKER_02
Do they even theorize in that situation how the infection started?
2
SPEAKER_02
Like, was it from the artist?
2
SPEAKER_02
Was it from the post?
2
SPEAKER_02
Was it something not sterilized?
2
SPEAKER_02
Did you not clean it well?
2
SPEAKER_02
We don t know.
2
SPEAKER_04
No, I also went in the ocean and after Hurricane Sandy, the ocean was like so gross.
2
SPEAKER_02
You could have had some doody in there, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, it could have been that.
2
SPEAKER_04
I didn t take care of it for a while.
2
SPEAKER_02
You were hammered at 18 probably.
2
SPEAKER_03
So lots of ways.
2
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, I was having fun, 18, and almost lost my ear.
2
SPEAKER_02
Not to shit on the Jersey Shore, but that sounds like a perfect Jersey Shore story.
2
SPEAKER_02
Of course, it s on brand.
2
SPEAKER_02
That feels like very par for the course.
2
SPEAKER_04
100%, and I had friends whose younger siblings, after prom, did the same thing and went to the house, and my picture of my ear was floated around saying, don t get piercings, this is what happens.
2
SPEAKER_04
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_02
Do you have that picture?
2
SPEAKER_04
I do, yeah, I sent it.
2
SPEAKER_02
I need to see it, of course.
2
SPEAKER_04
Oh, God, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, Rob has it.
2
SPEAKER_04
It s not for the weak stomach.
2
SPEAKER_04
I can print it.
2
SPEAKER_04
Text it to me.
2
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, or text, me too.
2
SPEAKER_02
Was there any photos taken at Pinnacle Infection?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
All right, here we go, Alex.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, wow.
2
SPEAKER_02
For people who are trying to imagine what this looks like, imagine you put a very good sized grape at the top of your ear.
2
SPEAKER_03
Look at the next one.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh my, Alex.
2
SPEAKER_03
This is horrifying.
2
SPEAKER_02
Whoa, girl.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s it after surgery with the tube?
2
SPEAKER_03
The one with the tube, yeah, that s the one after surgery.
2
SPEAKER_02
It does not look any better.
2
SPEAKER_03
I understand why they were like, we might have to cut off your ear.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, for sure.
2
SPEAKER_03
Like this looks beyond repair.
2
SPEAKER_02
Look how silly she looks with that big fucking head wrap.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God.
2
SPEAKER_04
I know, I looked like I had brain surgery.
2
SPEAKER_04
How is it now?
2
SPEAKER_04
Now it s totally fine.
2
SPEAKER_04
It took like six months, but I have like some numbness and very minimal hearing loss.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, minimal hearing loss.
2
SPEAKER_04
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_04
It s like shriveled up.
2
SPEAKER_04
So I can try and I don t think I sent a picture of what it looks like now, but it s totally fine.
2
SPEAKER_04
Oh yeah.
2
SPEAKER_04
I was worried about like the color.
2
SPEAKER_02
I d like to see you give it another shot.
2
SPEAKER_02
Get back up on that horse and get that thing pierced.
2
SPEAKER_04
No more piercings.
2
SPEAKER_04
Learned your lesson.
2
SPEAKER_04
Oh yes.
2
SPEAKER_02
Did your mom ever make an official amends?
2
SPEAKER_02
She was first on the scene and said, don t worry about it.
2
SPEAKER_02
Does she carry any guilt for that?
2
SPEAKER_03
That s true, this is her fault.
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_04
I was 18.
2
SPEAKER_04
My whole life, she s been like, you got it, you re good.
2
SPEAKER_04
Actually, this is a cautionary tale for you.
2
SPEAKER_02
To me, absolutely.
2
SPEAKER_02
If I don t see the bone sticking out of the skin, it s time to get back on the skateboard.
2
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, I know.
2
SPEAKER_04
There was no blood, no vomit, no fever.
2
SPEAKER_04
My mom s like, go on your merry way.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s rational.
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, Alex, this was wonderful.
2
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I m sorry you went through that, but what a gross story.
2
SPEAKER_02
We sure like them gross.
2
SPEAKER_04
Oh my gosh.
2
SPEAKER_04
I m such a big fan of you too.
2
SPEAKER_04
It s so nice to meet you both.
2
SPEAKER_04
And if I could give a quick shout out to my uncle Scott and my cousin Haley, they re big arm cherries.
2
SPEAKER_04
They were the first people I called when I got the email from Emma.
2
SPEAKER_02
Lovely.
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, we re so delighted that all three of you are listening and it was really nice to meet you.
2
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_04
Thanks for chatting.
2
SPEAKER_04
We talk about you guys at our family gatherings.
2
SPEAKER_04
I hope you guys have a great day.
2
SPEAKER_04
Have a good Thanksgiving.
2
SPEAKER_04
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
You too.
2
SPEAKER_01
Bye Alex.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, happy Thanksgiving.
2
SPEAKER_01
We re there.
2
SPEAKER_01
We get to say that now.
2
SPEAKER_03
Okay, now I m looking at pictures of that piercing and it is cute.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, you mean like non-infected versions?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
You just looked up the hook?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
The gook?
2
SPEAKER_02
What was it?
2
SPEAKER_02
Rook.
2
SPEAKER_02
The rook.
2
SPEAKER_03
It s cute.
2
SPEAKER_02
It looks painful.
2
SPEAKER_02
Rook to C4.
2
SPEAKER_03
I can t do it.
2
SPEAKER_03
Obviously my ears don t take to it.
2
SPEAKER_02
Hers either.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s good company to be in.
2
SPEAKER_03
Because even my third hole regular feels funny now.
2
SPEAKER_02
Third hole.
2
SPEAKER_03
Let s move on to the next person.
2
SPEAKER_02
John s not here yet.
2
SPEAKER_02
My third hole doesn t look great either, to be honest with you.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s kind of a mess.
2
SPEAKER_03
You have a third hole?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, my mouth, my urethra.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, your mouth you re counting, oh.
2
SPEAKER_02
In a sexual situation, the third hole is.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I guess I more imagine like, I m thinking about women s bodies, I guess.
2
SPEAKER_02
How many holes do you have?
2
SPEAKER_03
Well, we have two holes.
2
SPEAKER_02
Down there.
2
SPEAKER_03
And a butthole.
2
SPEAKER_02
What s your mouth?
2
SPEAKER_02
Pee hole.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, urethra.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I wasn t counting that.
2
SPEAKER_02
Thank you for pointing that out.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh boy.
2
SPEAKER_03
And then your asshole.
2
SPEAKER_02
Where the shit comes from.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I guess we re counting mouth, so four.
2
SPEAKER_03
If you want to count belly button, because at one point it was.
2
SPEAKER_03
It s not a hole.
2
SPEAKER_02
At one point it was.
2
SPEAKER_03
It was a tube.
2
SPEAKER_03
It was a hole that gets tied off.
2
SPEAKER_02
Two nostrils, two ears, a mouth, that s five.
2
SPEAKER_02
Your eye sockets, that s seven just on the head.
2
SPEAKER_02
You re counting eye sockets, so you gotta count belly button.
2
SPEAKER_03
Thank you, Rob, for your rationality.
2
SPEAKER_01
No, it s not a hole, it s a divot.
2
SPEAKER_03
It was a hole that they tied out.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s a tube.
2
SPEAKER_03
It had a tube going into a hole.
2
SPEAKER_02
If you have an innie, it s a shallow hole.
2
SPEAKER_03
If you can put something in, it s a hole.
2
SPEAKER_03
That s the definition of a hole.
2
SPEAKER_02
I ve not heard of that kink.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m sure it exists.
2
SPEAKER_03
Of a belly button?
2
SPEAKER_02
People fucking belly buttons.
2
SPEAKER_03
I bet, yeah, and also like kissing belly buttons and putting your tongue in and stuff.
2
SPEAKER_02
Do you have to be able to fuck it for it to be qualified as a hole?
2
SPEAKER_02
I think so, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s like a nostril, you re not really doing that either.
2
SPEAKER_02
Or your hole.
2
SPEAKER_02
If you have a slender enough pee-pee, you could.
2
SPEAKER_03
Get it in there.
2
SPEAKER_02
It can t be comfortable for anyone.
2
SPEAKER_02
I have such stretchy, big nostrils, you could get a fair-sized dinger in there.
2
SPEAKER_03
No!
2
SPEAKER_02
Lookit, both these fingers fit up there perfect.
2
SPEAKER_03
I know, so the penis would have to be... Lookit.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s not... I m sure many penises are that size.
2
SPEAKER_03
It s smaller than a micropenis.
2
SPEAKER_02
No, this would... What?
2
SPEAKER_02
No, that s kinda girthy.
2
SPEAKER_02
Put it this way.
2
SPEAKER_02
What are you... Let s be honest here, let s get real.
2
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_02
If someone s fingering you with two fingers, that s plenty of pressure.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, but you re not doing it in your nose the way you would.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh, well, do it.
2
SPEAKER_03
Do it.
2
SPEAKER_02
Look at that.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m in there.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s better than a micropenis.
2
SPEAKER_02
Two fingers.
2
SPEAKER_03
No, no, but only, you re only putting that.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s a little damp from my snot.
2
SPEAKER_03
You re only putting that much in.
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, my nose is only so deep.
2
SPEAKER_03
Well, that s what I mean.
2
SPEAKER_03
So this would not go all the way up your nose.
2
SPEAKER_03
Like that wouldn t fit.
2
SPEAKER_03
And that s what feels good in your vagina.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s a decent sized jar.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s fine.
2
SPEAKER_02
That d be fine, you re not suicidal over that.
2
SPEAKER_03
I know, but that s because you have this part.
2
SPEAKER_03
This part, if this was the part the whole way, that s not great.
2
SPEAKER_03
I mean, it s great, it s great for you.
2
SPEAKER_02
Whatever penis you have, it s perfect.
2
SPEAKER_02
And it may open up a bunch of new doors to you.
2
SPEAKER_02
Nostril fucking, belly button fucking, ear hole fucking.
2
SPEAKER_03
That s true, there are pros and cons to all things.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, hi.
2
SPEAKER_02
Hello, hello.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, bye.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, hi.
2
SPEAKER_02
How are you guys doing?
2
SPEAKER_02
Wonderful.
2
SPEAKER_02
My goodness, it looks like you re flying the Millennial Falcon or something.
2
SPEAKER_02
What s happening around you?
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, this is a little fort I made because I actually don t have a closet, so I had to follow the rules.
2
SPEAKER_03
You did a great job.
2
SPEAKER_02
And you have so many soft blankets in your possession.
2
SPEAKER_02
The one behind you.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, it looks comfy.
2
SPEAKER_02
Soft Surroundings, highly recommend.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh, great brand.
2
SPEAKER_02
It looks like, oh, that s the brand.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God, it s also very descriptive, soft surroundings.
2
SPEAKER_02
Where are you at?
2
SPEAKER_02
I am in Brooklyn, New York.
2
SPEAKER_00
I ve lived here for about nine years.
2
SPEAKER_00
Where did you move to Brooklyn from?
2
SPEAKER_00
Grew up in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, beautiful.
2
SPEAKER_00
Love the Midwest and went to school in Omaha, Nebraska.
2
SPEAKER_00
Nice.
2
SPEAKER_02
Wow, so you moved directly from college to Brooklyn?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay, so you re roughly what, 32?
2
30.
2
SPEAKER_02
30, 30 on the dot.
2
SPEAKER_02
A big three.
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay, so you have a piercing and or tattoo story.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yes, so to preface this story, number one, I am beyond ashamed of the poor decisions that I made personally and that we all made throughout this night.
2
SPEAKER_00
And the tattoo is actually just one aspect of the story.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, perfect, perfect.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh, I m so excited.
2
SPEAKER_00
So went to a all boys Jesuit high school.
2
SPEAKER_00
You can imagine it was just a sea of testosterone and immaturity.
2
SPEAKER_02
But can I add that we ve had a few guests on that had the Jesuit education and I found all of them to be uniquely analytical and like Socratic method arguers in a great way.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m not for religious schools, but that one seems to be pretty good.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I went to Catholic school for 10 years in my childhood, and I really didn t want to do it.
2
SPEAKER_00
But the Jesuits have a different— I went to school with atheists, Jewish kids, Muslim, all of the above, because they didn t care.
2
SPEAKER_00
Their philosophy was, we re just going to teach you how to be a good person.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I love it.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s great.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
All right, we re pro-Jesuit.
2
SPEAKER_00
This is three for three, I think.
2
SPEAKER_00
Awesome.
2
SPEAKER_00
The Jesuits, they whipped us into shape by senior year.
2
SPEAKER_00
You start out realizing, I have no girls to impress.
2
SPEAKER_00
This is awesome.
2
SPEAKER_00
I can be as dumb as I want to.
2
SPEAKER_00
This story takes place after my senior year.
2
SPEAKER_00
This is right after graduation.
2
SPEAKER_00
My school puts on a big trip to Ireland, where 30 of us go to Ireland for 11 days.
2
SPEAKER_00
just do a tour around the country.
2
SPEAKER_00
And our teacher, who I m going to call Mr. O Doyle, I m going to change a couple names throughout the story.
2
SPEAKER_00
He is about as Irish as an Irish American could be.
2
SPEAKER_00
He loves going to Ireland.
2
SPEAKER_00
He loves teaching about everything in Ireland.
2
SPEAKER_00
He s an encyclopedia, basically, for the country.
2
SPEAKER_00
And so he leads this trip every year.
2
SPEAKER_00
He set a very, very strict schedule for
3
SPEAKER_01
for us, including the fact that if we were late for the bus any day, we were left behind, period, end of story.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
3
SPEAKER_01
No wiggle room there.
3
SPEAKER_01
So he was incredibly strict.
3
SPEAKER_01
Alongside me, the main character of this story, I m gonna call Scott.
3
SPEAKER_01
And Scott is one of those guys who in high school was just effortlessly cool.
3
SPEAKER_01
A Monica Padman type.
3
SPEAKER_01
Exactly, Monica Padman type.
3
SPEAKER_01
State champion of cheerleading, all that.
3
SPEAKER_01
He was funny, charismatic, everything.
3
SPEAKER_01
I actually started smoking because of him.
3
SPEAKER_01
Sure.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because I saw him with a cigarette and I m like, man, he looks cool.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Scott.
3
SPEAKER_01
Is that what we said?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, the Scotts of the world really get people smoking.
3
SPEAKER_01
So we landed in Dublin, day one, immediately hit the road.
3
SPEAKER_01
We hit a bunch of small towns around the south of Ireland, just kind of going to pubs, sipping Guinness, all that stuff.
3
SPEAKER_00
The teacher doesn t mind that because it s legal age there and he s not monitoring that.
3
SPEAKER_00
Honestly, that s one of the reasons why he does it because we re 18 years old.
3
SPEAKER_01
He wants to teach us just about drinking, I guess.
3
SPEAKER_01
And we just graduated, so the school had no liability.
3
SPEAKER_00
Ah, perfect.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s nice.
3
SPEAKER_01
which is really good after this story.
3
SPEAKER_00
Really quick, when I was in Southern Ireland, I started drinking Guinness, but of course I quickly discovered Beamish.
3
SPEAKER_00
Did you ever have Beamish on draft there?
3
SPEAKER_00
I never had Beamish, I had Murphy s.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, Murphy s is beautiful.
3
SPEAKER_00
Creamy, creamy, creamy.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so we did that for a few days, and then we ended up in Galway, which is the first city that we went to.
3
SPEAKER_01
There was a really good nightlife there.
3
SPEAKER_01
So Mrs. O Doyle took us around during the day and showed us some historical landmarks, taught us about the history of Galway,
3
SPEAKER_01
And it was a really great day.
3
SPEAKER_01
Then the sun set, we were let loose.
3
SPEAKER_01
And we started the night out just having a few beers, horsing around.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then we ended up at a nightclub.
3
SPEAKER_01
And we thought it was a genius idea to take Jagerbombs.
3
SPEAKER_01
Have you guys had Jagerbombs?
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Know them well.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, let s go, let s go.
3
SPEAKER_01
So we each had 10.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh!
3
SPEAKER_01
We each had 10.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
3
SPEAKER_01
The Red Bull is really keeping us awake at this point.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s keeping us a little bit wild.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so we were going wild in this club, trying and failing to pick up girls.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was a mess.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so 1 a.m.
3
SPEAKER_01
hit, our very strict curfew, and Mr. O Doyle was sitting outside the hostel, smoking cigarettes, watching everybody go in, taking note of who was late.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so we went in, he just told us to go to bed and we went into our room and we thought, I kind of still want to go out.
3
SPEAKER_01
Sure.
3
SPEAKER_01
Got all those Jager bombs burning a hole in your gut.
3
SPEAKER_01
We can t go to bed right now.
3
SPEAKER_01
So how are we going to get out?
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, front door is guarded by Mr. Doyle.
3
SPEAKER_01
Can t do that.
3
SPEAKER_01
There s no back door that we can go through.
3
SPEAKER_01
So, all right, we just got to climb out the window.
3
SPEAKER_00
Hammered.
3
SPEAKER_01
We re on the third story, hammered on the third story.
3
SPEAKER_01
And there was a fence at the bottom, right before the sidewalk.
3
SPEAKER_01
We started shimmying down and the first guys got down far enough, put one foot on the fence and just sort of jumped on the sidewalk.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then third guy goes down, basically at the second story, he decides it s a great idea just to jump.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so he jumps, he goes over the fence, lands right on the pavement.
3
SPEAKER_01
He ended up breaking his foot.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
3
SPEAKER_01
But he didn t realize it at the time.
3
SPEAKER_01
He found out the next morning.
3
SPEAKER_01
Sure.
3
SPEAKER_00
Did anyone bring up the notion that you re gonna have to get back to the third floor at some point?
3
SPEAKER_00
We did not think that through whatsoever.
3
SPEAKER_01
All right, great.
3
SPEAKER_01
Even though the Jesuits taught us how to think for ourselves, we did not think that through.
3
SPEAKER_00
You threw that Jesuit training right out the window.
3
SPEAKER_01
Exactly, after the fifth Jagerbomb.
3
SPEAKER_01
So Scott climbs out the window and he slips right away.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
3
SPEAKER_01
He falls down, hits the fence, like right here.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, on his like rib.
3
SPEAKER_01
You just motioned in your armpit basically.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, in the ribs.
3
SPEAKER_01
And he tumbles onto the sidewalk.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh.
3
SPEAKER_01
He sort of slowly gets up and we re all thinking like, dude, that was a nasty fall.
3
SPEAKER_01
He gets up and says, OK, I think I m OK.
3
SPEAKER_01
We re like, you should probably go back to bed.
3
SPEAKER_01
But he decided, you know, I m going to charge on.
3
SPEAKER_01
Scott s God.
3
SPEAKER_01
He fires up a dart and keeps it moving.
3
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_01
Scott s too cool to go to bed.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s right.
3
SPEAKER_01
Or to be hurt.
3
SPEAKER_01
He was so cool about it.
3
SPEAKER_01
We all made the terrible decision to let him.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, this is stressing me out.
3
SPEAKER_01
So we went out to a couple more bars and then ended up at the tattoo parlor where everyone got matching shamrock tattoos on their chest.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, perfect.
3
SPEAKER_00
Had to.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was our 1100th shamrock tattoo the guy had given out that day.
3
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
3
SPEAKER_01
Some drunk asshole from the Midwest.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s like another one of these.
3
SPEAKER_00
Do you have the Lucky Charms leprechaun?
3
SPEAKER_01
I d like to get that on my ankle.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s a good one.
3
SPEAKER_01
I should have thought of that.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I chickened out because I was a little bit nervous about getting tattoos.
3
SPEAKER_01
I ve since warmed up to it, but I didn t think they were gonna give it to me anyways, because I threw up on the sidewalk right before I went in.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m shocked that the other guys were able to get it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Everyone got their tattoos, all red on the chest, and we go out, have a couple more drinks.
3
SPEAKER_01
2.30 a.m., we go back to the hostel, and of course, Mr. Doyle is standing right outside still, still smoking cigarettes, and he gives us the look of death, just shaking his head.
3
SPEAKER_01
We got a little bit of a tongue lashing, but then he just sent us inside.
3
SPEAKER_01
So we went in, fell on top of our beds, knowing that the real punishment was coming the next day.
3
SPEAKER_01
So, wake up the next day.
3
SPEAKER_01
I, of course, have the worst hangover I ve ever had to this day.
3
SPEAKER_01
I started sniffing, and then it was the undeniable smell of poop.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, all right, what s going on?
3
SPEAKER_01
And so we re all looking like, where s this smell coming from?
3
SPEAKER_00
I need to say to the listener, you have a very Ike Barinholtz vibe.
3
SPEAKER_00
You do, you do.
3
SPEAKER_00
So when people are hearing this story, I need them to kind of imagine Ike is telling the story.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m incredibly flattered.
3
SPEAKER_00
You should be, he s spectacular.
3
SPEAKER_01
So we re all looking around and then suddenly I look over and one of my friends, who was not with us the night before, opens his suitcase and finds a gigantic
3
SPEAKER_01
creamy turd.
3
SPEAKER_00
Wow, in the suit, okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
All over his clothes.
3
SPEAKER_01
And he s having a full on panic attack.
3
SPEAKER_01
I tried to calm him down, and this was not the first panic attack.
3
SPEAKER_01
This guy had a whole nother story.
3
SPEAKER_01
We got in a very tricky situation, and I just slapped him out of it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
I get him to calm down, and I said, okay, we re gonna go to a laundromat that s nearby.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, we looked one up.
3
SPEAKER_01
I help him out.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m bringing his clothes, and I m thinking like, man, I m being a good friend.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was a bad friend last night.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m going to build up some karma.
3
SPEAKER_01
This is great.
3
SPEAKER_01
Once I got him set up, I went back to the hostel and going right to the bathroom.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, I need to use the bathroom.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m probably going to throw up.
3
SPEAKER_01
This is terrible.
3
SPEAKER_01
Walk in the bathroom and there are a bunch of guys huddled around the shower.
3
SPEAKER_01
First thought is, all right, somebody shit in the shower.
3
SPEAKER_01
Another poop incident.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then suddenly I see Scott on the floor in the fetal position.
3
SPEAKER_01
His skin as pale as can be, even greenish.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it was bad.
3
SPEAKER_01
Mr. O Doyle already saw it and he had an ambulance on the way.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, this guy looked like he was on the brink of death.
3
SPEAKER_01
And of course, at this point I m having my own internal panic attack because I m thinking like, oh God, I did this.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you re a part of this.
3
SPEAKER_01
gets in the ambulance, Mr. O Doyle hops in the ambulance with him, they rush to the hospital.
3
SPEAKER_01
And we re all freaking out, piecing together in the night.
3
SPEAKER_01
Was it the fall?
3
SPEAKER_01
Obviously it s the fall.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
There s no question, but we were trying to convince ourselves that it might not have been.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
And as it turns out, upon hitting the fence,
3
SPEAKER_01
He shattered multiple ribs.
3
SPEAKER_01
And those pieces ruptured his spleen.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, no.
3
SPEAKER_01
And he lost three liters of blood internally overnight.
3
SPEAKER_00
No.
3
SPEAKER_01
He just went to bed with that injury.
3
SPEAKER_00
He s so lucky.
3
SPEAKER_01
I ve even looked it up.
3
SPEAKER_01
Apparently, if you lose between two and a half to four liters, it can very easily kill you.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, oh yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
Your blood pressure drops.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
And on top of that, his tattoo was probably infected, so that didn t really help.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
3
SPEAKER_00
Whoa.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so Scott s dad got on the next flight to Ireland from Milwaukee.
3
SPEAKER_01
Once he was on the plane, Mr. O Doyle got us all onto the charter bus and we went on our way.
3
SPEAKER_01
And we re thinking like, Jesus Christ, we just left Scott behind.
3
SPEAKER_01
His dad is gonna walk over him.
3
SPEAKER_01
Our first stop.
3
SPEAKER_01
ironically enough, was an old cemetery.
3
SPEAKER_01
And O Doyle got us all in the church, sat down in the pews, and we re thinking like, we re gonna get the biggest tongue lashing of all time.
3
SPEAKER_01
But then he gave us this amazing speech about what it means to be a man for others, which is the big Jesuit phrase, and how to be respectful and take care of all of your friends and those closest to you.
3
SPEAKER_01
And we re thinking like, we really deserve much more than this.
3
SPEAKER_01
So that really hit us hard.
4
SPEAKER_02
A soft touch can be the most evil touch at times.
4
SPEAKER_02
Exactly, I felt so much worse.
4
SPEAKER_03
I m so impressed by Mr. O Doyle.
4
SPEAKER_02
Me too, this poor guy, he s got like 12 fucking teenage coyotes with him.
4
30.
4
SPEAKER_02
30 is bad.
4
SPEAKER_01
Jesus, one guy and 30.
4
SPEAKER_03
No wonder he smokes.
4
SPEAKER_01
Scott had our back.
4
SPEAKER_01
He did not blame anybody.
4
SPEAKER_01
He didn t point fingers.
4
SPEAKER_01
We were all banded together, but we all felt that internal guilt.
4
SPEAKER_01
He survived.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, thank God.
4
SPEAKER_01
Just to make sure everybody knows.
4
SPEAKER_01
And he not only recovered enough to get out of the hospital in a week, but I swear to God, he met up with us in Dublin for our last night.
4
SPEAKER_01
No.
4
SPEAKER_01
And went out to the bars with us.
4
SPEAKER_02
No.
4
SPEAKER_02
What a champion.
4
SPEAKER_01
Scott.
4
SPEAKER_01
Scott.
4
SPEAKER_01
With his dad.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that s sweet.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wonderful.
4
SPEAKER_01
He also probably had some pain pills.
4
SPEAKER_03
I m glad the dad was there.
4
SPEAKER_01
We were smoking Cuban cigars.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t think he drank that much, because his dad was kind of monitoring it.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, also like, internal bleeding, you shouldn t have- Sure, although Guinness, they give you Guinness in the hospital.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s got a lot of iron.
4
SPEAKER_03
I know, that s what you think.
4
SPEAKER_03
We looked it up, that s not real.
4
SPEAKER_01
No, it is, it is real.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was just in awe of this guy s tenacity.
4
SPEAKER_01
And needless to say, not only him, but we were all very lucky to have survived that trip.
4
SPEAKER_01
There were a thousand instances like this one, but this was-
4
SPEAKER_01
By far the worst.
4
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
4
SPEAKER_01
Where s Scott living now?
4
SPEAKER_01
He still lives in Milwaukee.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
I have not talked to a lot of these guys since high school, and I reach out to him on Instagram just to make sure, hey, is it okay if I tell this story?
4
SPEAKER_01
But he didn t respond, so I changed his name.
4
SPEAKER_01
Great.
4
SPEAKER_01
Don t want to throw him under the bus, but anyone who went on the trip knows exactly what I m talking about.
4
SPEAKER_02
Does he still look radical when you were looking at him on Instagram?
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, he s still cool.
4
SPEAKER_02
He s only gotten better looking.
4
SPEAKER_03
Wow, that s very rare.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, but cool s cool.
4
SPEAKER_02
You can t shake cool.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it s just that flawless nature.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, there s something in the DNA, I think.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, boy.
4
SPEAKER_03
Wow.
4
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
4
SPEAKER_03
What a story.
4
SPEAKER_01
That was incredible.
4
SPEAKER_01
Guys, just to say, y all are even more gorgeous in Zoom than I could have ever imagined.
4
SPEAKER_01
Once I got the email, my girlfriend and I were looking at pictures and we re like, God, Dax is so hot.
4
SPEAKER_01
She wanted me to tell you that you re hot.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, God bless her.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was like, how gorgeous is Monica?
4
SPEAKER_02
She s like, oh, yeah, definitely.
4
SPEAKER_03
Well, that s so nice.
4
SPEAKER_02
All right.
4
SPEAKER_02
Well, great meeting you.
4
SPEAKER_02
And thanks so much for that great story.
4
SPEAKER_02
Wonderful to meet y all.
4
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_02
Take care.
4
SPEAKER_02
Bye.
4
SPEAKER_02
So Ike, I gotta turn the air on.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m sitting right in a blast furnace of light.
4
SPEAKER_02
I thought he was gonna tell us he was on that shit in that suitcase.
4
SPEAKER_02
That he was what?
4
SPEAKER_02
The one that shit in that suitcase?
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh yeah, we never figured out who s shit in it.
4
SPEAKER_03
Do we think it was Scott?
4
SPEAKER_03
You re right, that was totally left untied.
4
SPEAKER_03
That was just one of those red herrings.
4
SPEAKER_03
Hi, hello.
4
SPEAKER_02
Can you hear us?
4
SPEAKER_00
I can, can you hear me?
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh, beautifully.
4
SPEAKER_02
You have that awesome AT&T headset on.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I look lovely.
4
SPEAKER_02
It looks like you re, we re going to question you about our bill.
4
SPEAKER_02
We saw a charge on there and we re a little curious.
4
SPEAKER_02
What is this charge?
4
SPEAKER_00
It s my work headset.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I get that.
4
SPEAKER_02
What are we going to call you?
4
SPEAKER_00
I m going to go by Taylor.
4
SPEAKER_02
Taylor ding, ding, ding swift.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
This story is a little, um, illegal.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s not illegal.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s a little risque.
4
SPEAKER_00
And so I d like to avoid any bosses or future bosses knowing who I am.
4
SPEAKER_02
Wonderful Taylor.
4
SPEAKER_02
It ll be so where.
4
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_00
You don t have to tell us.
4
SPEAKER_00
I can say where I m from.
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh, okay.
4
SPEAKER_02
Great.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m in Vancouver, Canada.
4
SPEAKER_02
And does this story take place in the great North?
4
SPEAKER_00
It does.
4
SPEAKER_00
I ll get us started.
4
SPEAKER_00
So this was in 2016.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was 21 years old.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I had just gone through this major breakup.
4
SPEAKER_00
I had just gotten through a three year long relationship.
4
SPEAKER_00
He was my high school boyfriend.
4
SPEAKER_00
So it was like one of those relationships, you kind of like change for them a little bit.
4
SPEAKER_00
It was not great, but that s okay.
4
SPEAKER_02
And did college intervene?
4
SPEAKER_02
Is that what happened?
4
SPEAKER_02
Did you go to college?
4
SPEAKER_00
I didn t.
4
SPEAKER_00
I took a gap year and.
4
SPEAKER_00
took some time.
4
SPEAKER_00
And this was actually like heading into me going to college.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I was like getting my life together.
4
SPEAKER_00
The relationship ended, but I like wanted to have one wild summer.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
And so I cut my hair, dyed my hair, you know, your typical breakup stuff.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I decided to push it a little bit further.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I also got my nipples pierced.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, wow.
4
SPEAKER_02
You were going to enter into a whole new sexual revolution as well, man.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it was like owning it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was ready to be single.
4
SPEAKER_00
Also, I know my dad s going to listen to this, so he s going to want to plug his ears.
4
SPEAKER_00
But like, I was ready to be myself and I was always kind of wild and out there.
4
SPEAKER_00
It wasn t too out of the realm of possibility.
4
SPEAKER_02
And had you tamped down your personality for the boyfriend?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
He was controlling and jealous.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, isolated myself, cut off some, it s just not great.
4
SPEAKER_00
So it was the summer of me.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was like embracing it and the piercing itself.
4
SPEAKER_00
Nothing bad.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m a bit of an adrenaline junkie.
4
SPEAKER_00
The pain, I have a high pain tolerance.
4
SPEAKER_00
That wasn t the problem.
4
SPEAKER_02
Can I ask you some pervy questions?
4
SPEAKER_02
Go for it.
4
SPEAKER_02
You can t pierce a flaccid nipple.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m presuming.
4
SPEAKER_02
So your nipples have to be erect.
4
SPEAKER_02
What strategy do they employ to do?
4
SPEAKER_02
Is there ice on hand?
4
SPEAKER_00
No ice.
4
SPEAKER_03
I just think it s like kind of cold.
4
SPEAKER_03
Well, also, I m sure they re holding it in a certain way in order to pierce it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, they like use those prongs because they need to like get behind the actual nipple.
4
SPEAKER_00
Sure.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
It was.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
It was an odd experience because they also have to do one at a time.
4
SPEAKER_00
So they do like the first one and the adrenaline covers the pain of that one.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then the second one, you know what the pain s going to be.
4
SPEAKER_00
So it is actually worse, but I still didn t find it too bad.
4
SPEAKER_00
Luckily.
4
SPEAKER_02
And is it a man or a woman giving the piercing?
4
SPEAKER_00
It was a man.
4
SPEAKER_02
That s fine.
4
SPEAKER_02
Or you re it
4
SPEAKER_00
It was fine with me.
4
SPEAKER_00
Did it feel just kind of clinical though?
4
SPEAKER_00
Like it s routine?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it felt like he s probably seen this a thousand times and he s unbothered.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_00
And like I had my girlfriends with me.
4
SPEAKER_00
They came and just witnessed the whole thing.
4
SPEAKER_00
We made a day of it.
4
SPEAKER_00
It was like not a big deal.
4
SPEAKER_00
So the piercing itself wasn t that bad.
4
SPEAKER_00
It was like the series of unfortunate events that occurred after.
4
SPEAKER_00
So to start out, the piercing was totally fine.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was like living my best life, very single, having fun, probably doing things that are not recommended to the healing of a piercing.
4
SPEAKER_00
I will admit it was a dumb mistake on my behalf.
4
SPEAKER_00
But about two months in, I started to notice that it was definitely irritated.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like I was having issues with it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I have a few piercing, like I have in my nose pierce, I have lots of cartilage piercings in my ear.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I had good experience with healing piercings and this I had never really experienced before.
4
SPEAKER_00
About two months in, I woke up one morning.
4
SPEAKER_00
All I can describe is like the interior side of my left breast was rock hard.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh.
4
SPEAKER_00
And bright red.
4
SPEAKER_02
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
4
SPEAKER_02
So your cleavage.
4
SPEAKER_00
And just the interior side of my cleavage, it wasn t the whole breast.
4
SPEAKER_00
It was just the inside part of my boob.
4
SPEAKER_00
I started panicking, but I was also embarrassed because I was like, oh no, what have I done to myself?
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
You have some kind of shame all of a sudden, right?
4
SPEAKER_02
Like I brought this upon myself.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, exactly.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I also started to be like, oh, I can fix this.
4
SPEAKER_00
And so I was like on the internet looking up things that I could do to fix the situation.
4
SPEAKER_00
And nothing was really working.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then three days later, it had gotten so inflamed, essentially.
4
SPEAKER_00
A nipple barbell is like two balls and like a small bar in between.
4
SPEAKER_00
And one of the balls on the one side, because it had gotten so inflamed, it sucked inside the piercing hole.
4
SPEAKER_02
No.
4
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
4
SPEAKER_00
And at that point, I m like, I have to go to a hospital.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t have a choice here.
4
SPEAKER_00
And so I like called one of my friends.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m like, we have to go.
4
SPEAKER_00
She s like, okay, I ll come with you.
4
SPEAKER_00
We wait at the hospital for about two hours and the doctor finally sees me and the vibe is immediately off with the doctor.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like not very kind, just seemed in a rush.
4
SPEAKER_00
It was busy.
4
SPEAKER_00
She made me feel kind of dumb and I was like, I get it.
4
SPEAKER_00
This wasn t the greatest choice, but I m here now and I need medical care.
4
SPEAKER_00
And so like I knew going into that, I was likely going to need antibiotics, hopefully oral.
4
SPEAKER_00
and I was likely going to have to remove this piercing.
4
SPEAKER_00
Those things did happen, however, I needed IV antibiotics.
4
SPEAKER_00
She also said that it was just a small abscess, so they were going to do an ultrasound and they d likely maybe need to drain if it got worse or the antibiotics would do its job.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then she also had to remove the piercing.
4
SPEAKER_00
And she didn t gently remove the piercing like I had assumed she would.
4
SPEAKER_00
She quite literally pulled the other side of the barbell and ripped it out through the other side.
4
SPEAKER_02
And drug the fat end of it through.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh my God.
4
SPEAKER_03
Ew.
4
SPEAKER_02
What?
4
SPEAKER_02
Although what option did she have?
4
SPEAKER_02
She can t grab the other side.
4
SPEAKER_03
I thought maybe she d push the other side back out.
4
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s what I had envisioned.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s not what happened.
4
SPEAKER_00
I feel like I blacked out.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like I don t remember the pain at all.
4
SPEAKER_00
And she kind of just like gave me IV antibiotics and sent me on my way.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then I had to face, cause I lived with my dad at this point.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was like, I have to tell him because I have an IV in my hand now.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like I don t have a choice.
4
SPEAKER_00
And the only adult that knew in my life was my step-mom.
4
SPEAKER_00
And so I called her and I was like, you have to tell dad.
4
SPEAKER_00
I can t talk to my dad about my nipples.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like I just can t be faced with this at all.
4
SPEAKER_00
And so she called him for me while I was on my drive home.
4
SPEAKER_00
I get home.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I faced the silent treatment for like a good couple hours, which felt fair.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then finally, I believe the only words he said to me that night were you re an idiot.
4
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_02
Very dad.
4
SPEAKER_00
I strongly agree.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I wasn t upset by that.
4
SPEAKER_00
But to throw a twist into all this a day later, I was supposed to leave for vacation with
5
SPEAKER_01
With my entire family, like my grandparents, my brother, his girlfriend, my dad, my stepmom, my step-siblings.
5
SPEAKER_01
We were all supposed to go down to Lake Tahoe for two weeks all together.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, God.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, wow.
5
SPEAKER_00
Summertime trip or a ski trip?
5
SPEAKER_01
It was a summertime trip.
5
SPEAKER_01
It was like a family tradition.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like, we went every summer.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it was like my first time going as an adult.
5
SPEAKER_01
I was very excited, but that suddenly changed.
5
SPEAKER_01
I basically said to my dad, I was like, okay, I ll do a couple of days of IV antibiotics.
5
SPEAKER_01
When that s done, I ll fly down to Reno.
5
SPEAKER_01
You can pick me up and then I ll spend the rest of the vacation.
5
SPEAKER_01
We re like, great plan.
5
SPEAKER_01
So I send my family off.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m like, I m good.
5
SPEAKER_01
Have a great time.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
5
Oh no.
5
SPEAKER_01
And that was a mistake.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh no.
5
SPEAKER_01
Sort of.
5
SPEAKER_01
My friends stayed with me and one particular friend, I ll call her
5
SPEAKER_01
Julie, for the sake of the story, because she s heavily involved in this next bit.
5
SPEAKER_01
But she had been driving me back and forth from the hospital because trying to drive with the IV in my hand was super painful.
5
SPEAKER_01
So she was just being a really good friend.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I could tell that it wasn t getting better, even with IV antibiotics.
5
SPEAKER_01
Finally, on like the fourth day of IV antibiotics, I said to the nurse, I m like, I need to see someone again.
5
SPEAKER_01
This is not doing well.
5
SPEAKER_01
During the night, I would wake up and like all I can describe it as like searing pain.
5
SPEAKER_01
It was just brutal and I was exhausted.
5
SPEAKER_00
Was it a hot pain?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh God.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_01
And so I flagged that to her and she s like, great.
5
SPEAKER_01
Have you had your ultrasound yet?
5
SPEAKER_01
I was like, no.
5
SPEAKER_01
She s like, okay, we ll rush you upstairs to get an ultrasound.
5
SPEAKER_01
They do the ultrasound.
5
SPEAKER_01
They put me in the waiting room and finally a doctor comes up to me and he goes, have you eaten this morning?
5
SPEAKER_01
And so I look at Julie and I m like, I m going under.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
She goes, no, you re not.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m like, I have watched enough doctor shows and Grey s Anatomy to know that I m going under and I ve never had like a proper surgery before.
5
SPEAKER_01
And my family s all in California and I m freaking out.
5
SPEAKER_01
Finally, the surgeon comes and he s like, you re going under.
5
SPEAKER_01
I need you to sign waivers.
5
SPEAKER_01
I had to like call my dad and tell him that not only is your child at home,
5
SPEAKER_01
by herself, but she also has to go into a surgery now.
5
SPEAKER_01
And he started freaking out.
5
SPEAKER_01
Luckily, Julie s parents called him and were like, we ve got her.
5
SPEAKER_01
Don t come home from your vacation.
5
SPEAKER_01
You re going to rush home for her to just be recovering on the couch.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like we ve got it handled.
5
SPEAKER_00
Don t worry.
5
SPEAKER_01
So forever indebted to this family.
5
SPEAKER_01
We re sitting there.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m a little high on morphine.
5
SPEAKER_01
And around three quarters through the first act is what we call the explosion because there s no other way to describe it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Essentially, what was my boob tore?
5
SPEAKER_01
This is where people are not going to want to listen.
5
SPEAKER_00
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.
5
SPEAKER_00
The skin itself perforated or split.
5
SPEAKER_01
Wherever the barbell had been sitting, started splitting open.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
5
SPEAKER_00
Not the cleavage, but the areola nipple area.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then all of the pus that was in my body began to drip down my side.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I kind of love this.
5
SPEAKER_00
Wait, down, down, down the front.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
At this point, cause like things had gotten worse.
5
SPEAKER_01
It was more than just that inner part of my body.
5
SPEAKER_01
boob had kind of moved more to the center.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, got it, okay.
5
SPEAKER_01
And so when it ripped, like everything just kind of started dripping down my side.
5
SPEAKER_00
Did you get that incredible sense of relief you get when you pop a pimple?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wow.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I was also high on one.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
It was a perfect timing.
5
SPEAKER_01
I felt this release, and then I was totally out of it, and then Julie starts panicking, because she s seeing this go on.
5
SPEAKER_01
She starts cleaning me up, and like calling nurses,
5
SPEAKER_01
And like being like, she needs another gown.
5
SPEAKER_01
It was a lot.
5
SPEAKER_01
There was two gown changes.
5
SPEAKER_01
It was an obscene amount of liquid to come out of a human s body.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
5
SPEAKER_00
How many ounces would you guess?
5
SPEAKER_00
So you re on the metric system up there.
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you do ounces?
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t think I could guess it to be honest with you.
5
SPEAKER_01
I think I was just so out of it at that point.
5
SPEAKER_00
But do you think it was a tube of toothpaste or a can of soup?
5
SPEAKER_01
A can of soup.
5
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that was my hunch.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_00
So 10, 12 ounces.
5
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, did you have the impulse to start squeezing your breast and getting it all out?
5
SPEAKER_00
Like you would have pimple?
5
SPEAKER_01
Of course.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
But then I was like, am I making this worse?
5
SPEAKER_00
I start doing this.
5
SPEAKER_01
Also this surgery still has to happen because there s all these other things going on.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t know what s still left in there.
5
SPEAKER_00
But does it?
5
SPEAKER_00
My hunch would be like, Oh, it did.
5
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_00
Slow down.
5
SPEAKER_01
So they took me up to the surgery room.
5
SPEAKER_01
Surgery goes on.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s totally fine.
5
SPEAKER_01
I wake up in the recovery room.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m like a little bit out of it.
5
SPEAKER_01
I explained to the nurses that my family s not there, but my friends in the hallway.
5
SPEAKER_01
I think it s against hospital rules, but they re like, Hey, we ll let her in.
5
SPEAKER_01
You re alone and you re 20.
5
SPEAKER_01
And so my friend comes in, something seems a little bit off.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, maybe I ve traumatized Julie a little bit.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I feel really bad that I did this to her, but like, I m fine now.
5
SPEAKER_01
And so then they tell me that I have to stay a couple of days.
5
SPEAKER_01
This isn t like a infection where I get to just go home and I had to have way more rounds of really high level antibiotics.
5
SPEAKER_01
I had friends coming in on shifts watching me and keeping me entertained.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I just noticed Julie and Julie s mom in particular, every time they came in, they were like quite somber.
5
SPEAKER_01
Julie s mom always had like tears in her eyes.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m alive.
5
SPEAKER_01
I feel so much better now.
5
SPEAKER_01
Has the doctor said anything to you at this point?
5
SPEAKER_01
Not yet.
5
SPEAKER_01
So this is where things get interesting.
5
SPEAKER_01
I haven t seen the doctor for like four days.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh.
5
SPEAKER_01
And so finally, Julie gets up and she goes to the nurse s station and she goes,
5
SPEAKER_01
she needs to talk to the doctor immediately.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, what s all this seriousness about?
5
SPEAKER_01
And so the doctor comes down, he s talking to me, he s like, let me see the incision.
5
SPEAKER_01
I ll let you know if you can go home today.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m like, oh, that s great.
5
SPEAKER_01
I show him the incision.
5
SPEAKER_01
He s like, it looks great.
5
SPEAKER_01
We can definitely send you home.
5
SPEAKER_01
Can I just look at your other breasts?
5
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, yeah, sure.
5
SPEAKER_01
And he looks at me, he goes, yeah, it s about a five to 10% difference.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, what do you mean?
5
SPEAKER_01
And he was like, we definitely had to remove five to 10% of your breast because it was a flesh eating disease.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
5
SPEAKER_01
Whoa.
5
SPEAKER_01
So the tissue around it had been so damaged from the infection that they had to remove parts of my breast.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
5
SPEAKER_00
All the necrotic tissue.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
I just said to him, I was like, okay, that s fine.
5
SPEAKER_01
Five to 10%, boobs are already different sizes.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m pretty sure it was my bigger one anyways going in.
5
SPEAKER_01
I feel fine with five to 10%.
5
SPEAKER_01
He leaves the room and my friend Julie just lets out this sigh, like a shudder.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t know how else I would describe it.
5
SPEAKER_01
But I look at her, I m like, what s going on?
5
SPEAKER_01
He s like, when you were in the recovery room, he told me he had removed 50% of your breast.
5
SPEAKER_01
And she had been living with that for four days.
5
SPEAKER_01
And the only person she had told was her mother.
5
SPEAKER_01
And that s why they had been staring at me.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, and the mom was like, oh, this poor 19 year old girl.
5
SPEAKER_01
Exactly, like with so much pity.
5
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s basically what happened.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like the rest of the recovery itself was pretty smooth.
5
SPEAKER_00
Did you have to have a pick line?
5
SPEAKER_00
Like I had, did you for a month or two have to shoot antibiotics?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it was a long process while I was starting college too.
5
SPEAKER_01
So I was at school with a full bandage.
5
SPEAKER_01
I was trying to hide it from people cause they just didn t want to like get into it.
5
SPEAKER_01
So they also had to keep the incision open cause they wanted to make sure it filled from the inside first before, but
5
SPEAKER_01
The nurses are super friendly and they re like, you healed impeccably well.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, that s great.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s like a pretty normal scar.
5
SPEAKER_01
My friends do call me Frankentitty now.
5
SPEAKER_01
They wanted to make sure I said that like that s my fun little nickname.
5
SPEAKER_01
So do you notice a difference?
5
SPEAKER_01
No.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, great.
5
SPEAKER_01
I will say the only thing is I m quite pale, but the areola is there and there s like a small crescent moon of like you can tell it s my actual skin versus areola skin.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s the only difference, truly.
5
SPEAKER_01
The other weird part, I will say, is that nothing ever happened to the other piercing.
5
SPEAKER_01
You left it in?
5
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh my lord.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t think you were rightly shamed by anybody for the first go around, but I will say if something happened to the second one, I do think your dad would deserve to go.
5
SPEAKER_01
You re a fucking idiot.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Most of the nurses too were like, it s weird.
5
SPEAKER_01
Usually they go at the same time, but the other one looks super healthy and totally fine.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I was like,
5
SPEAKER_01
Great.
5
SPEAKER_01
And, yeah, I ve just kept it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
5
SPEAKER_01
So, do we think this is common?
5
SPEAKER_01
Nipple piercing infections?
5
SPEAKER_01
I think so.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if they re, like, to the level that I had.
5
SPEAKER_01
But, yeah, she said they go at the same time.
5
SPEAKER_01
That means, like, often there s an issue.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s definitely a piercing, I think, that because of where it s located.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s located near, like, milk ducts and other things going on, like, that have actual bodily usage that I think they tend to go wrong.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Taylor, that was a harrowing tale.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, yikes.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, wow.
5
SPEAKER_00
That was good.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m glad it all resolved itself.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m glad it s the last one in the episode, too.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, sure.
5
SPEAKER_00
Because it s going to be the hardest for people eating lunch to hear, I think.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s a hard listen.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, Taylor, thank you so much.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s a banger of a piercing story.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I say hi to your dad who s listening.
5
SPEAKER_00
If he made it through that, God bless him.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yes, exactly.
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, thank you so much.
5
SPEAKER_01
It was great meeting you.
6
SPEAKER_02
Thank you both.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yes, you too, take care.
6
SPEAKER_00
Bye.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m now waving, so I m gonna have to rescind my teasing you.
6
SPEAKER_02
Thank you.
6
SPEAKER_00
You said I had a stupid hand, and now you have a stupid hand.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yep.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, those are doozies.
6
SPEAKER_00
Stuff can go way wrong when there s needles and metal.
6
SPEAKER_02
Just the notion of a breast-sized pimple is so wild.
6
SPEAKER_02
I obviously don t want any of that experience, but the moment that it breaks, I feel like I m envious of.
6
SPEAKER_02
Because again, when I was a kid and you d have that terrible pimple and then you went for it and it worked and you got the relief.
6
SPEAKER_02
Boy, those are some highlights of my life.
6
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
6
SPEAKER_00
What a life.
6
SPEAKER_00
She said it had that relief.
6
SPEAKER_00
And also because I m sure there s just so much pressure.
6
SPEAKER_00
So that makes sense.
6
SPEAKER_00
But it s also scary.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s like, what the fuck?
6
SPEAKER_02
It is scary, but there s this- I m rotting.
6
SPEAKER_02
I don t know if this is unique to me or a very human experience, which is like, anytime you get something out of your body, there s this weird sense of relief.
6
SPEAKER_02
I think it s even why pooping s so enjoyable, because you re like, oh good, I got that out of- that shouldn t have been inside me.
6
SPEAKER_00
Sure, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
I mean, like, when you cut my earring out- That was awesome.
6
SPEAKER_00
You definitely enjoyed it more than me.
6
SPEAKER_02
You didn t get a gush of relief.
6
SPEAKER_00
I felt relief because it was hurting.
6
SPEAKER_00
So that was good.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s like, Oh, that s gone now.
6
SPEAKER_00
The bad, I guess.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s what you re saying.
6
SPEAKER_00
But it wasn t this like rush of endorphins or anything.
6
SPEAKER_02
Makes me want to find the video.
6
SPEAKER_00
Carly has it.
6
SPEAKER_00
I was thinking we should post it, but we re definitely never posting that.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, you didn t want that to be posted.
6
SPEAKER_00
No, I don t want that to be posted.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s so tempting.
6
SPEAKER_00
I keep wanting.
6
SPEAKER_02
You still want it.
6
SPEAKER_00
That was my second time.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I want a third try.
6
SPEAKER_02
This is drugs, repeating the same thing and expecting a different result.
6
SPEAKER_00
I know.
6
SPEAKER_02
The definition of insanity.
6
SPEAKER_00
I know, but it looks so good.
6
SPEAKER_00
Does it?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
I don t even notice.
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if boys notice.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you thought it looked good.
6
SPEAKER_02
It looked good when my players got ahold of it and I snipped it out.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s healed so well.
6
SPEAKER_02
Let s do it again.
6
SPEAKER_00
I could.
6
SPEAKER_02
Look, it just means I ll get to cut one out again, and I certainly enjoyed it the first time.
6
SPEAKER_00
And you know people get these big bumps on the back.
6
SPEAKER_02
Right, where it was.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
You don t have that?
6
SPEAKER_00
Not up top.
6
SPEAKER_02
Oh, that s nice.
6
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, wow.
6
SPEAKER_02
Well, I love you.
6
SPEAKER_02
That was gruesome and wonderful.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, good times.
6
SPEAKER_02
Good times.
6
SPEAKER_01
Do you want to sing a tune or something, or a theme song?
6
SPEAKER_01
No.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay, great.
6
SPEAKER_01
We don t have a theme song for this new show, so here I go, go, go.
6
SPEAKER_01
We re gonna ask some random questions, and with the help of armchairies, we ll get some suggestions on the fly, right?