0
SPEAKER_01
Okay, Dana, I just want to tell you quickly for the people listening that before you hear Kyle, he does mention Bud Friedman.
0
SPEAKER_01
A lot of us do.
0
SPEAKER_01
Bud Friedman was a huge influence.
0
SPEAKER_01
He owns the Improv, if you don t know, New York, LA, and he passed away since we did Kyle a little bit ago.
0
SPEAKER_01
So I just want to say quickly, Bud was
0
SPEAKER_01
you know, I could over-talk about it on her.
0
SPEAKER_01
I ll just say he was a huge, huge reason.
0
SPEAKER_01
He was like the first Lorne.
0
SPEAKER_01
I think, Dana, you said that.
0
SPEAKER_01
It was a guy that, you know, if you get into the improv, Mitzi was at the comedy store.
0
SPEAKER_01
She didn t like me, but liked me, got me up.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I had a great run doing all these clubs, working in the LA one.
0
SPEAKER_01
I worked the LA one last week.
0
SPEAKER_01
So a huge thank you and a sad day.
0
SPEAKER_01
about that, but Bud was a great, great, and he s great for comedians.
0
SPEAKER_00
I would just say, you know, the same thing like Lauren, Bud loved comedians, loved us, and he was very nice to me.
0
SPEAKER_00
I couldn t get out of the Comedy Store either, which was sort of a scary weird place back then.
0
SPEAKER_00
And Bud was friendly.
0
SPEAKER_00
He was old-fashioned in a way.
0
SPEAKER_00
As people know, he had a monocle.
0
SPEAKER_00
He had some sort of weird cadence of talking.
0
SPEAKER_00
I don t know where it came from, but take it outside.
0
SPEAKER_00
No, how are you?
0
SPEAKER_00
But he gave me great spots and he was very encouraging.
0
SPEAKER_00
And he was somebody, he passed away at 90.
0
SPEAKER_00
He looked 60 when he was 40, but when he was 80, he still looked 60.
0
SPEAKER_00
I mean, he didn t age for decades.
0
SPEAKER_00
I would see him from time to time and go, man, he looks exactly the same.
0
SPEAKER_00
Hello, Dana.
0
SPEAKER_00
Stay out of the aisles.
0
SPEAKER_00
With the monocle and that cadence, he s like this gentleman.
0
SPEAKER_00
and just a sense of decorum of like, now we re starting the show, everybody ready?
0
SPEAKER_00
And he was a sweet man.
0
SPEAKER_00
You know, you don t see a lot of monocles anymore.
0
SPEAKER_00
I feel like he might be the last guy.
0
SPEAKER_00
Well, I was there when he had, you know, regular glasses.
0
SPEAKER_00
Really?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, comedian got mad.
0
SPEAKER_00
It was drunk and punched him.
0
SPEAKER_00
He goes, it doesn t matter.
0
SPEAKER_00
I ll just use this pot.
0
SPEAKER_00
And that s how the, I made that up.
0
SPEAKER_00
And you go, but you never got it fixed.
0
SPEAKER_00
He goes, oh.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, the monocle was only Colonel Klink in Hogan s Heroes going back to the 1960s.
0
SPEAKER_00
He had a monocle and then Bud.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but there s no one, no one does a monocle.
0
SPEAKER_00
You know, my friend is a comedian in Arizona.
0
SPEAKER_01
Mike Sterner says his friend is Japanese optometrist and every December 7th, he attacks the Pearl Vision Center.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s not my joke, but I liked it.
0
SPEAKER_01
Hey, I like anything where it s just such a joke.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s a good joke.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay, but Bud, we ll let you listen.
0
SPEAKER_00
God bless you.
0
SPEAKER_00
Bud was great, laughed at everybody, a comedian.
0
SPEAKER_00
Created an amazing legacy that continues to this day with improv comedy clubs all over.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, great guy, great laugher.
0
SPEAKER_01
And anyway, enjoy our podcast.
0
SPEAKER_01
This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.
0
SPEAKER_01
But you know, look at how fast, we re almost halfway through the year.
0
SPEAKER_01
Crazy, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Are you proud of what you ve done in 2024 so far?
0
SPEAKER_00
I mean, you always wanna do more, right?
0
SPEAKER_00
Life goes so fast.
0
SPEAKER_00
David, it s important to take a moment to celebrate your wins, make adjustments for the rest of the year.
0
SPEAKER_00
Therapy can help you take stock of your progress and set achievable goals for the next six months.
0
SPEAKER_01
Listen, therapy is the way to go.
0
SPEAKER_01
I did it for a while, and I think the thing that slowed me down was what they, is driving to Santa Monica in traffic once or twice a week.
0
SPEAKER_01
This is online.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s a great idea.
0
SPEAKER_01
Very convenient.
0
SPEAKER_01
It helps you.
0
SPEAKER_01
You ve got coping skills, how to set boundaries.
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, there s so many things you can do here to be a better version of yourself.
0
SPEAKER_01
You can probably always sharpen it.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I mean, I had a therapist in Portland and I would commute and that was a pain.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s a long drive.
0
SPEAKER_00
I know it was 1300 miles one way, but you know, it s good therapist.
0
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, this one you can mix and match and your thoughts kind of control you and you want to master them.
0
SPEAKER_00
And when you talk to someone else, they re able to kind of discern it out.
0
SPEAKER_00
So if you re thinking of starting to give therapy a try, give BetterHelp a try.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, suited to your schedule.
0
SPEAKER_01
You fill out a questionnaire, get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist if you want to for any reason, no charge.
0
SPEAKER_01
Take a moment, visit betterhelp.com slash FOTW today.
0
SPEAKER_01
Get 10% off your first month.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s betterhelp, H-E-L-P.com slash F-O-T-W.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay, Dana, before I get the Kyle Dunn again, I have to tell you, I have to get a plug-in.
0
SPEAKER_00
What?
0
SPEAKER_01
I bought this at the gas station, and I used to like this.
0
SPEAKER_01
It says mild, right?
0
SPEAKER_01
So I use it.
0
SPEAKER_01
Twice I ve been tricked.
0
SPEAKER_01
This is an anti-commercial.
0
SPEAKER_01
No, because it s so goddamn spicy.
0
SPEAKER_01
And what, there s mild and there s medium and there s hot.
0
SPEAKER_01
Which one do you think wouldn t be spicy?
0
SPEAKER_01
Mild.
0
SPEAKER_01
And even when I get it, everyone s like, you re the biggest pussy.
0
SPEAKER_01
Why do you have mild?
0
SPEAKER_01
I go, because I just wanted like the idea of it.
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t really want to burn up.
0
SPEAKER_01
And oh my God, I was, my burrito, I was ripping it apart going, what in here?
0
SPEAKER_01
I m blaming the burrito is so hot.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s that.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I look at the back, it says,
0
SPEAKER_01
I see the word jalapeno, that s all I need to see.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s all I need to see.
0
SPEAKER_01
I go, why would it be so hot?
0
SPEAKER_01
And this isn t your fault, David.
0
SPEAKER_00
You have a lot of free time on your hands.
0
SPEAKER_01
But I was so mad last night, and then I called Heather and I yelled at her about it.
0
SPEAKER_00
Cholula is the best that s mild.
0
SPEAKER_01
Cholula has to be mild.
0
SPEAKER_01
I ll get you a bottle on the next podcast.
0
SPEAKER_01
No, it can t be anything.
0
SPEAKER_01
It just has to be red food coloring.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, how about ketchup?
0
SPEAKER_01
Old fashioned, okay?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s basically it.
0
SPEAKER_00
Give me ketchup with three pieces of onion in it.
0
SPEAKER_00
Get some Heinz in that mix, all right?
0
SPEAKER_01
Kyle Dunagan is one of my really good buddies.
0
SPEAKER_01
Kiel Dunagan.
0
SPEAKER_01
And he s a sweetheart.
0
SPEAKER_01
And we talked to him because we re talking to more comedians, because when I m out with these comics, especially ones I like, and they re heavily influenced by us now, they grew up on it.
0
SPEAKER_01
Obviously they love Dana.
0
SPEAKER_01
They like all the people we ve been talking to, and they share their stories with me.
0
SPEAKER_01
And some had auditions.
0
SPEAKER_01
Kyle had a big audition for us now.
0
SPEAKER_00
The seminal audition in 2008, which Bobby Moynihan was at, and Nick Kroll, and Kyle, his story about his audition process at the time being a brilliant comedian and impressionist, a natural for SNL, and what happens is very dramatic.
0
SPEAKER_00
but he s organically very, very funny throughout this talk.
0
SPEAKER_01
And some of these talks with these people are just straight up, just laughs.
0
SPEAKER_01
You know, we re just talking about SNL.
0
SPEAKER_01
We re talking about, he does impressions, he mixes them and Dana does them.
0
SPEAKER_01
And those are the kind, just different type of shows.
0
SPEAKER_01
And that s what this type of show is.
0
SPEAKER_00
So it s, you know, again, just a human story about someone trying to get on SNL and what happens.
0
SPEAKER_00
So it s kind of riveting, actually.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then like the before, during, and after, like.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
When you don t get it, what it s like.
0
SPEAKER_01
And we don t have a lot of those because everyone has it, everyone got it.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and he landed on his feet.
0
SPEAKER_00
He has a huge YouTube channel.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, he s so hysterical.
0
SPEAKER_00
All this massive, hysterical, bizarre content.
0
SPEAKER_00
Instagram.
0
SPEAKER_00
And he s just a fun guy to have dinner with.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, 100%.
0
SPEAKER_00
Here is Kyle Dunnigan.
0
SPEAKER_01
How s Dana s dump going?
0
SPEAKER_01
Dana was right here.
0
SPEAKER_00
Huh?
0
SPEAKER_01
Dana was right here, and then he just took off.
0
SPEAKER_01
Dana, we re almost done.
0
SPEAKER_00
Damn, I brought a gigantic sombrero, but I left it.
0
SPEAKER_01
Do you need a hat?
0
SPEAKER_00
No, I don t.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s for when we do our things.
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh, right.
0
SPEAKER_00
Chuck Beres, you re too young.
0
SPEAKER_00
The gong show.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_02
Oh, no, I know Chuck Beres, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
He would randomly come out with hats and not refer to them.
0
SPEAKER_00
I did like that.
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh, really?
0
SPEAKER_00
So I was doing that.
0
SPEAKER_02
I saw you in a hat, like a round circle, farmer hat.
0
SPEAKER_02
I was like, I need that, because the sun s really bad.
0
SPEAKER_02
And then I got one.
0
SPEAKER_02
Fucking pineapple picker hat.
0
SPEAKER_00
I can either spend hours with greasy sunscreen all over, or I could put a giant hat on.
0
SPEAKER_00
I prefer the giant hat.
0
SPEAKER_00
Some people go, no, fuck the hat.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m going to grease it up for hours.
0
SPEAKER_02
I do both.
0
SPEAKER_02
Kyle Dunnigan s our guest today.
0
SPEAKER_02
That s why I want to be a dermatologist.
0
SPEAKER_02
I went to a dermatologist and I looked at a thing and it was, because I thought, this looks not great.
0
SPEAKER_02
Are we recording?
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, light it up.
0
SPEAKER_00
Light it up.
0
SPEAKER_00
Let me, because I have a dermatologist story.
0
SPEAKER_02
So what happened?
0
SPEAKER_02
If you could actually focus the podcast on dermatology, it s good when it s about something specific.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s a good niche.
0
SPEAKER_00
But what happened?
0
SPEAKER_00
We can always cut this.
0
SPEAKER_00
Which means we won t cut it.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_02
All right, go ahead.
0
SPEAKER_02
Well, I just looked at like a little mole spot and I was like, that doesn t look good.
0
SPEAKER_02
I went and the guy looked at it and he s like, you re fine.
0
SPEAKER_02
And then this girl came to visit me for like a weekend.
0
SPEAKER_02
I think I told you, David, about those.
0
SPEAKER_02
And it did not work out.
0
SPEAKER_02
Like she walked into my house.
0
SPEAKER_02
I knew that was coming.
0
SPEAKER_01
She walked into my house.
0
SPEAKER_01
No, that s how they always end.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it always ends like that.
0
SPEAKER_02
I had this house.
1
SPEAKER_01
and she walks up, she goes, do planes always fly over your house?
1
SPEAKER_01
She immediately just had all these awful things about my house.
1
SPEAKER_01
I never noticed the planes.
1
SPEAKER_01
But I m in the path.
1
SPEAKER_01
Now it s constant.
1
SPEAKER_01
There s just planes around.
1
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, she goes, I don t like the look of that mole.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, I checked it out.
1
SPEAKER_01
I think it s okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
Chew it off, bitch.
1
SPEAKER_02
She s like, I don t think it s dangerous.
1
SPEAKER_02
I just don t like the look of it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
It was just a vanity thing.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I went, but I went back and a different dermatologist was like, that s a problem and cut it out.
1
SPEAKER_01
And it had like, it got caught.
1
SPEAKER_01
It was,
1
SPEAKER_01
If it wasn t for her, the point of the story.
1
SPEAKER_01
The girl was the problem?
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I thought he said, cut the girl out of your life.
1
SPEAKER_02
Well, I was naked on a slab and this guy s going around with the eyeglass.
1
SPEAKER_02
He s like 90 or something.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
And he s going around and everything he sees, cause I m covered in stuff.
1
SPEAKER_02
He goes, age, age related.
1
SPEAKER_02
And a woman s writing it down, age related.
1
SPEAKER_02
Age-related, yeah, I swear to God, for a half hour.
1
SPEAKER_02
Did you do anything?
1
SPEAKER_02
Nope, age-related.
1
SPEAKER_02
Sick.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s like Billy Bob Thorne, age-related.
1
SPEAKER_02
He goes, this doesn t look like much, but you might have to remove it.
1
SPEAKER_02
I go, my wiener?
1
SPEAKER_02
And then he took that monocle off.
1
SPEAKER_02
He goes, oh, I m sorry.
1
SPEAKER_02
My wiener is the greatest childlike reference to a dick.
1
SPEAKER_02
Actually, Dana, tell him when you went to the masseuse, what she said.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I had this masseuse once and she d really start digging and she d say, give it, give it, give it, give it, give it.
1
SPEAKER_02
Didn t she go by your wiener and go, you hungry?
1
SPEAKER_02
No, that was me.
1
SPEAKER_02
That was you.
1
SPEAKER_02
Irish comedians for a hundred.
1
SPEAKER_02
Is Dunagan Irish or British?
1
SPEAKER_02
It s Irish.
1
SPEAKER_01
Irish.
1
SPEAKER_01
I eat her.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so we have the same.
1
SPEAKER_01
I went to a, this is like a longer story, but a Tony Robbins wanted me to perform at his birthday party.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, go ahead and tell the story, because why not?
1
SPEAKER_01
This is a great one.
1
SPEAKER_02
Do you do Tony Robbins?
1
SPEAKER_01
No, I don t.
1
SPEAKER_01
But I tried to get one for the thing.
1
SPEAKER_01
But I was excited because I like Tony Robbins.
1
SPEAKER_01
I ve read like three books in my life.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, me too.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I was excited.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was nervous because they were paying me more money than I ve ever been paid for anything.
1
SPEAKER_01
in my life.
1
$750.
1
SPEAKER_02
No, higher.
1
SPEAKER_01
I turned them down.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, I know, you got a big chunk of that.
1
SPEAKER_01
I won t say what it is, but it was more than $1,000.
1
SPEAKER_01
Tony does not, Tony.
1
SPEAKER_01
It was $24,000, more than $1,000.
1
SPEAKER_01
But what do you net?
1
SPEAKER_01
It was $25,000.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s great.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
That s wonderful.
1
SPEAKER_02
Well, yeah, so I was very excited.
1
SPEAKER_02
That s an adorable number.
1
SPEAKER_02
I know to you guys, that s so no money.
1
SPEAKER_02
No, we don t get it.
1
SPEAKER_02
He has his money bags here.
1
SPEAKER_02
Think about where you are and think of who owns this place.
1
SPEAKER_02
No, I know, pooling this house is $25,000.
1
SPEAKER_02
All right, Tony Robbins tried to beat you up, got you in a headlock.
1
SPEAKER_01
We ll let you get through this story, hopefully, we probably won t.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was nervous and I thought, hey, Tony would say, take care of yourself, little buddy.
1
SPEAKER_01
People don t know Tony, he s like nine feet tall.
1
SPEAKER_01
He has actually a tumor in his pituitary gland and it s pumping out.
1
SPEAKER_01
growth hormones.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s why he s so big.
1
SPEAKER_02
He s grown a foot and a half in the last 18 months.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s been, I mean, when he was a kid, they asked if he wanted to take it out and he was like, no, I want to be enormous.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like he could have taken it out.
1
SPEAKER_01
Is that true?
1
SPEAKER_01
That s a true story.
1
SPEAKER_01
He worked.
1
SPEAKER_01
It did.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
It really stands out.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
He like obviously the documentary, but he puts his hand on someone s head.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s like a giant,
1
SPEAKER_01
Catcher s mitt just envelops the whole guy s head.
1
SPEAKER_01
All right, I m getting to the- Cuz you bunch of fucking losers!
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t care, I like the whole story.
1
SPEAKER_02
You little piece of shit!
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he s a therapist that swears.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he yells, he s scary.
1
SPEAKER_01
Go ahead.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m getting comfortable.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I was like, I m gonna go take care of myself and get a massage.
1
SPEAKER_01
I never do that.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I went to this place, and I don t want a hand job.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I know about the little handjobs thing.
1
SPEAKER_02
You re not one of those happy ending, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
David s never heard of those.
1
SPEAKER_01
No.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
But the whole point of going there is to feel better about myself, you know?
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t wanna walk, I don t wanna have handjobs, so I m like, how do I look like I don t want a handjob?
1
SPEAKER_01
So I take off my baseball hat, because guys in baseball hats look like they want handjobs.
1
SPEAKER_00
Very suspicious.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know what I mean?
1
SPEAKER_01
So you take off the cap?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m not saying David wants a handjob.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, check, I like it.
1
SPEAKER_01
He looks like he wants one.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I take that off, and I kind of go in jolly, you know?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, rather than kind of like serious, looking around.
1
SPEAKER_01
Slinking in.
1
SPEAKER_01
Embarrassed already.
1
SPEAKER_01
Shamed.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
And she gives me a good back massage.
1
SPEAKER_01
She flips me over.
1
SPEAKER_01
She starts doing a little tickly on the stomach.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m like, oh, this is like going down a hand job lane, you know?
1
SPEAKER_01
And so out of nowhere, she taps my penis and she goes, you hungry?
1
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, oh no, I just ate.
1
SPEAKER_01
The better question is, is she hungry?
1
SPEAKER_01
She seemed hungry.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay, got it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I didn t ask her.
1
SPEAKER_01
This is important for our listeners.
1
SPEAKER_01
She looked famished.
1
SPEAKER_02
Someone s the meal and someone s the consumer of the meal.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yes, she was drooling.
1
SPEAKER_01
Then she tapped my penis again, harder, like four more times.
1
SPEAKER_01
She was like, no, you hungry?
1
SPEAKER_01
Am I breaking your mic?
1
SPEAKER_01
And I go, oh, no, thank you, thank you.
1
SPEAKER_01
And she goes, oh, girlfriend?
1
SPEAKER_01
And I go, no.
1
SPEAKER_01
And she goes, wife?
1
SPEAKER_01
And I go, no.
1
SPEAKER_01
I know where this one s heading to.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and she goes, oh.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s it?
1
SPEAKER_01
She thinks you re on the other team.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so I walked out there feeling great.
1
SPEAKER_01
I go to the Tony Robbins thing, and beforehand they did a Zoom call with me, you know, where they go, this is what Tony wants.
1
SPEAKER_01
And he wants me to do Biden on a big screen.
1
SPEAKER_01
No one sees me.
1
SPEAKER_01
They just see Biden.
1
SPEAKER_01
But he s going to introduce me as the president of the United States is here.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I was a little worried because that could happen.
1
SPEAKER_01
He could zoom in the president.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s met all the presidents.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I said to them, I m a little worried they re gonna be disappointed when they see me.
1
SPEAKER_01
And they were just like, this is what Tony wants.
1
SPEAKER_01
This is a cult.
1
SPEAKER_01
You don t tell it.
1
SPEAKER_01
This is what we do.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
I did the same kind of gig.
1
SPEAKER_01
I want to hear about yours because I m sure yours is better than.
1
SPEAKER_02
No, everything is ringing true to me.
1
SPEAKER_01
I love Tony.
1
SPEAKER_01
Tell when they play, they play like a videotape before.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_01
So,
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, it was actually two things.
1
SPEAKER_01
A montage, right?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
I m making this story way too long, but it was like- No, not on fly, right?
1
SPEAKER_02
Can we go over here?
1
SPEAKER_01
I googled Tony Robbins  birthday on YouTube.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t think I told you this.
1
SPEAKER_01
Research.
1
SPEAKER_01
And his last birthday was this big extravaganza with all these stars, just like, Tony, you re the best.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s bawling, crying.
1
SPEAKER_01
His wife s like, I love you, honey.
1
SPEAKER_01
It was like his 60th or something like that, you know?
1
SPEAKER_01
So I felt even more pressure that this is the next birthday.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I get there and he s like, thanks for doing this, you little hunk of crap.
1
SPEAKER_01
And he whacks me on the back.
1
SPEAKER_01
Everybody s super jazzed up, but they ve been up since like 5 in the morning, you know, swimming with sharks.
1
SPEAKER_01
This is a lot of corporate gigs where they beat them to death, and they go, here s your entertainment, and they re like.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s like, go, we can win.
1
SPEAKER_01
They have dancers come out, you probably saw this.
1
SPEAKER_01
After every speaker, they keep going.
1
SPEAKER_01
Mine was on Zoom.
1
SPEAKER_02
Mine was on Zoom.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, see, that was smart.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was there, I flew down to West Palm Beach.
1
SPEAKER_01
He wanted me to fly there.
1
SPEAKER_01
Undisclosed location.
1
SPEAKER_02
So anyway, so what happens?
1
SPEAKER_01
So yeah, get to the end of the story.
1
SPEAKER_02
I could do Tony Robbins for the first half hour and then we ll do McCartney for the second half hour.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s at a trampoline and I jumped on that beforehand trying to get pumped up.
1
SPEAKER_01
And, um, so the guy before me was, uh, the secretary of defense, former secretary of defense, uh, Larry Sumner s.
1
SPEAKER_01
And he just talked like this.
1
SPEAKER_01
He went over an hour and a half economists.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s like midnight now.
1
SPEAKER_01
And, uh,
1
SPEAKER_01
Tony goes, are you ready for the surprise of your life?
1
SPEAKER_01
And they re like, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
And they re like, have I ever disappointed you?
1
SPEAKER_01
They re like, no, you ve never disappointed us.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then he goes, and then someone goes like, blah, blah.
1
SPEAKER_01
There s a pause.
1
SPEAKER_01
He d forgot to play the package.
1
SPEAKER_01
They made this minute package video of him with presidents.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
So now that plays for like, okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, he goes, yeah, the president of the United States, they go nuts, then they play the package, then he reintroduces me, because he introduced me before, he did it wrong, but now it really feels like, for sure, the president.
1
SPEAKER_01
Because in the video, they said he s shaking hands with Obama.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
So they really think Biden s coming up.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, they 100%.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, and you re saying, okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
There s no way he would fuck us over and have some asshole playing Biden.
1
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I m sitting backstage like, oh no, it s the nightmare I imagined.
1
SPEAKER_01
So then I pop up on the screen and you hear this audible, uh, and I m like, Hey, it s Tony Bologna s birthday.
1
SPEAKER_01
Come on, man.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m dying.
1
SPEAKER_01
Just death.
1
SPEAKER_01
Really?
1
SPEAKER_01
God, that s so unusual.
1
SPEAKER_01
Nothing from them because they re angry.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and I think they don t even know if it s a joke, and they re just staring.
1
SPEAKER_01
And in my head, I m going, this is the funniest thing, and I ve got another 25 minutes.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know when you re done with your funniest bit, and you re like, this is just gonna get worse.
1
SPEAKER_02
And are you in a suit and tie just at a regular mile, Mike?
1
SPEAKER_01
That s a whole nother thing.
1
SPEAKER_01
I went shopping, and you re nervous, you shop for a new outfit.
1
SPEAKER_02
Before or after the masseuse?
1
SPEAKER_01
I had to go after, you know what I mean?
1
SPEAKER_01
So I bought these new shoes.
1
SPEAKER_01
They were both left feet so I couldn t even use it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I had dirty shoes I m making this story.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m telling you 10%.
1
SPEAKER_01
This is gonna be a bonus If you And then I got a shirt so I looked it was a black button and I looked like a magician
2
SPEAKER_03
And I made a joke about that.
2
SPEAKER_01
You have clown shoes on and a misfit.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I wore my dirty shoes because I couldn t fit into those two left feet.
2
SPEAKER_03
They go, I like when the magician made all the laughter disappear.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
It s weird because the screen goes up and now I have to introduce myself.
2
SPEAKER_03
And here s a surprise for Tony, Kyle s not here.
2
SPEAKER_01
This is very normal.
2
SPEAKER_01
They re like, this guy s still going?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
Well, I walk out and they jump up and they re like, yay, because they re all taught to just give you all the energy.
2
SPEAKER_03
And then back to like, we hate you, sit back down.
2
SPEAKER_01
This is very normal for everyone.
2
SPEAKER_01
Back to we hate you.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I go, I said something about like, I know it looks like I m about to do magic.
2
SPEAKER_03
I promise I m not.
2
SPEAKER_01
And they re like, they don t get any sarcasm or irony.
2
SPEAKER_03
It s almost like the opposite because it s all about positivity.
2
SPEAKER_03
And then I, you know, stand up still cutting.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I m halfway through jokes going, don t tell the rest of this joke.
2
SPEAKER_03
I told a joke, I go, I dated this girl, she was too young for me.
2
SPEAKER_03
She was 19 years younger.
2
SPEAKER_03
Don t judge, I was in college, that s when you experiment.
2
SPEAKER_03
And they go, oh wait, that means she was like three.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh my god.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s a tough one.
2
SPEAKER_02
You just go into Bill Maher or something, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
What s your fail-safe?
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, Defcon 5, what bit is just never bombed?
2
SPEAKER_03
You ever get in that situation where you jump to maybe this is what s now?
2
SPEAKER_03
Yes, to your sure fires.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, but nothing s working.
2
SPEAKER_03
In your head, you have nothing.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
But you re skipping chunks, and then you re like, I don t have enough now.
2
SPEAKER_03
And you re speeding through half this, and then the clock s going backwards, and I m on the piano at one point.
2
SPEAKER_03
And then people, I have like pictures, I don t know if you have a website I could put up.
2
SPEAKER_03
We have nothing.
2
SPEAKER_03
It doesn t matter.
2
SPEAKER_01
We re not good at social media.
2
SPEAKER_03
We barely have audio.
2
SPEAKER_03
I just got wifi.
2
SPEAKER_03
I get off and I was supposed to sing happy birthday to Tony as Caitlyn Jenner, right?
2
SPEAKER_03
So there s a wig, I m back on the,
2
SPEAKER_03
where the laptop is where I m projected like a face swab.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I see the wig there and in my- Go for the wig.
2
SPEAKER_03
No, I say, I can t, I need to walk out of here with something.
2
SPEAKER_03
I can t walk out of here with a woman s wig on.
2
SPEAKER_03
So I leave it there.
2
SPEAKER_03
And not crush, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, and I just go sincere.
2
SPEAKER_03
I m like, hey guys, it s Tony s birthday.
2
SPEAKER_03
How about a happy birthday?
2
SPEAKER_03
I was supposed to be like, happy birthday to Tony, baby, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
And do some, but he s got a big old cock.
2
SPEAKER_03
But I bailed on that and I just did a sincere happy birthday.
2
SPEAKER_03
And they just turned to their leader and they re like, happy birthday.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I use that to sneak out and I m grabbing my stuff.
2
SPEAKER_03
And so he thought I was off stage, but I was under the desk.
2
SPEAKER_03
And he goes, did you guys have a day you ll never forget?
2
SPEAKER_03
And they were like, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
And then he goes, this is a night I d like to forget.
2
SPEAKER_02
No way.
2
SPEAKER_03
He was talking about me.
2
SPEAKER_03
Have you ever heard Tony Robbins saying negative things in your life about anyone?
2
SPEAKER_03
No.
2
SPEAKER_03
And he said it about me.
2
SPEAKER_03
That s weird.
2
SPEAKER_03
It was rough.
2
SPEAKER_03
That s weird.
2
SPEAKER_01
That is weird.
2
SPEAKER_01
We ll be right back with this show.
2
SPEAKER_01
Word from our sponsor.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I was just on a Zoom real quickly, and he was just super enthusiastic, and there were just all these flashing pictures of people all over the world.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he would go, I would do a bit, like he didn t like Fauci, so I was like, you don t need a vaccine, it ll solve everything, all that stuff.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he goes, give it up for Dana Carvey.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I m just in my little room, my wife s cooking dinner downstairs, and he s going like this, and it went on for two minutes.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I started dancing in my room, and just for one landed joke.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was during the pandemic, obviously.
2
SPEAKER_01
How much time did you have to do?
2
SPEAKER_01
I think it was supposed to be 45, I think it ended up being 35 and they were fine with it.
2
SPEAKER_01
David, do you have a Tony Robbins gig story?
2
SPEAKER_02
You know, I did get a call about a Tony Robbins gig.
2
SPEAKER_02
You what?
2
SPEAKER_02
I got a call about one recently.
2
SPEAKER_02
Are you being serious?
2
SPEAKER_02
I swear to God, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Because I turned them down.
2
SPEAKER_02
I think what happens is they do these gigs.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you do?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was too busy.
2
SPEAKER_02
Go ahead, Dave.
2
SPEAKER_02
You have to throw that.
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, Dana, you already did it, though.
2
SPEAKER_01
You were number two.
2
SPEAKER_01
No, but then they wanted me back in person.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I was really, really busy with something, and they only told me five days before, so I said, you know.
2
SPEAKER_03
There was nothing that was going to stop me to get $25,000.
2
SPEAKER_03
I would like that money now that my 401k is 70% down.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because of... I think I know... Because of... DocuSign.
2
SPEAKER_01
Or no.
2
SPEAKER_01
DocuSign, yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
The stock market s been bad.
2
SPEAKER_01
It went down over 100%.
2
SPEAKER_01
I actually owe money.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s negative 28%.
2
SPEAKER_01
It ll be fine.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m fine.
2
SPEAKER_01
David?
2
SPEAKER_02
You guys are fine.
2
SPEAKER_02
I like when you both do Biden.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s funny talking to each other.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, I just am with Pirates of the Caribbean.
2
SPEAKER_01
I love yours, your stuff.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s good.
2
SPEAKER_03
We have like different Bidens, which is... Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
The latest one, do you do the whisper yell?
2
SPEAKER_01
Because that s what happened after Afghanistan.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, like, come on, man.
2
SPEAKER_03
This guy gets this guy, Vladimir Puntang.
2
SPEAKER_03
Not Puntang.
2
SPEAKER_03
The guy.
2
SPEAKER_03
He s a bad dude.
2
SPEAKER_03
And then it s like, yeah, it s like a lower, like a mumble.
2
SPEAKER_03
He does like...
2
SPEAKER_01
My dad used to do this where he d patronize Whisper, like, I know better than you do.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because I know a lot better and I know how to do it.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, your Biden s amazing.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he does that.
2
SPEAKER_01
And you do everything.
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, you just went at him early because now the New York Times is attacking Biden, saying he makes up stories and bumbling.
2
SPEAKER_01
Back in those days, it was a hot oven, but your thing was always just edgy and funny.
2
SPEAKER_02
Kyle on YouTube and Instagram is always something that s ahead of the game.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you would just go anywhere you felt like going.
2
SPEAKER_02
Even when you do Caitlyn Jenner, you get, you always wonder, these Kardashians even, are they even aware?
2
SPEAKER_02
I never know.
2
SPEAKER_03
I found a video that they make, because I did a video where they were like, we re mad at you.
2
SPEAKER_03
The whole thing was just like, we re mad at you.
2
SPEAKER_03
And then Khloe did a video going, we re mad at you.
2
SPEAKER_03
They saw that one.
2
SPEAKER_03
I don t know if they saw the other ones though.
2
SPEAKER_01
Maybe just that one.
2
SPEAKER_01
Should we talk about one that you thought might tweak them?
2
SPEAKER_01
Because you re always going for the laugh.
2
SPEAKER_01
You don t seem like you re waving any political party or any point of view other than what s funny.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that s all I m trying to do.
2
SPEAKER_03
You do Biden and Fresh Prince of DC, right?
2
SPEAKER_03
I m trying to finish one up now.
2
SPEAKER_03
They take forever and I go dark.
2
SPEAKER_03
So, you know, with making money on the internet, you ve got to keep cranking stuff out.
2
SPEAKER_03
You know, sketch, it s really hard to crank out.
2
SPEAKER_03
I mean, SNL s, they got 30 writers or something, and then- Oh no, one man band, what you re doing, I don t know how you get all that stuff.
2
SPEAKER_02
When you re doing it in the house and you ve got green screens and face swap and all these computer things and you have graphics, and then I edit, and then it s like,
2
SPEAKER_03
Like I ll be like, oh, I need tape to tape down this wig.
2
SPEAKER_03
So then I go to the store, I gotta get the tape for the wig.
2
SPEAKER_03
And that s a half hour.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I m like, oh wait, I need a tie.
2
SPEAKER_03
Then I go to like the Goodwill and I get a tie and then I ll shoot for an hour.
2
SPEAKER_03
I m like, oh, my ear was sticking out.
2
SPEAKER_03
I gotta reshoot that for an hour.
2
SPEAKER_01
Some days it s like so much work.
2
SPEAKER_01
I know some people could help you.
2
SPEAKER_03
I need to find a way to get money that I could pay people.
2
SPEAKER_03
Cause that s, that would be great.
2
SPEAKER_03
Well, you re okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
Kyle Dunnigan s YouTube channel.
2
SPEAKER_02
Go check it out.
2
SPEAKER_02
More talent.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s tougher to make.
2
SPEAKER_02
There s just some ways.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s hard to make money no matter how good you are.
2
SPEAKER_02
Just hard to get on YouTube and that shit.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s hard to crank out sketch.
2
SPEAKER_03
SNL s got, there s probably two sketches a week that are good.
2
SPEAKER_03
Well, they write about 50, 55 in 24 hours.
2
SPEAKER_03
And two are good, and they take two weeks off every two weeks.
2
SPEAKER_03
It s just like, it s like base player.
2
SPEAKER_03
Most of you strike out.
2
SPEAKER_01
Sometimes three, Kyle.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, is it three?
2
SPEAKER_01
Lauren visited the podcast.
2
SPEAKER_02
We would do two, and then a week off, and then.
2
SPEAKER_02
three and then we go off then around Christmas two weeks off.
2
SPEAKER_01
But you re right, huge staff churning stuff out and it s a numbers game.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, so I ll like do a few in a row and I ll watch it grow and then I ll stop.
2
SPEAKER_03
I ll need to like take a break for like a month or a couple weeks.
2
SPEAKER_03
And it ll just, I ll drop 40% on my next video.
2
SPEAKER_03
So it s like, that s, I m trying to figure out how to do the business side.
2
SPEAKER_03
So now, this next Fresh President is more like a short film.
2
SPEAKER_03
I m gonna release it like, and maybe have people pay like two bucks for it or something.
2
SPEAKER_01
So it s a parody of the Will Smith Show.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
He s done a bunch of those.
2
SPEAKER_01
I know, I ve seen them just for the audience.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, they re fucking funny as shit.
2
SPEAKER_01
He s kind of rapping as Biden.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
And running around.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then Insanity ensues.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and there s like sitcom laughs around it.
2
SPEAKER_01
And the old president will fall up the stairs.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
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3
SPEAKER_01
Well, also, people that are listening should know Kyle is a comedian.
3
SPEAKER_01
Been doing it forever.
3
SPEAKER_01
He up for five Emmys, wrote for the, was it Inside Amy Schumer?
3
SPEAKER_02
And won an Emmy for Girl, You Don t Need Makeup, which I listened to today.
3
SPEAKER_01
What was that?
3
SPEAKER_01
Girl, You Don t Need Makeup.
3
SPEAKER_00
Was it on Amy?
3
SPEAKER_01
When you wake up.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it was on the Schumer Show.
3
SPEAKER_00
My mom has that.
3
SPEAKER_00
I brought her the Emmys.
3
SPEAKER_00
She s very excited.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, we ll come back to Amy Schumer Show.
3
SPEAKER_00
Sarah Silverman, did you write for that show?
3
SPEAKER_00
Did actually that was a show I was writing and then I had I was like I have to get out of here It was a great job, but I just felt like I was writing too much for other people and I wanted to you know performing as I started making I actually during that writing thing I figured out how to
3
SPEAKER_00
um, do the face swaps.
3
SPEAKER_00
So it was a FaceTime call so they could talk to each other.
3
SPEAKER_00
And that was like a big, um, I just like, I was doing imitations of the writers in the room and they liked it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Then I started doing it online.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s kind of what blew that up.
3
SPEAKER_00
2016 or 16, 17.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so, okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, early on, tell us when you,
3
SPEAKER_01
You probably were into SNL because we all were.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
But did you finally get an audition or was it one or was it you were trying to get an audition like everyone?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I didn t know what to do.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, big fan of SNL.
3
SPEAKER_00
Dana s been a huge influence.
3
SPEAKER_00
We ve talked about that.
3
SPEAKER_00
We don t have to talk about it.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, well, maybe we can talk about it just a little bit.
3
SPEAKER_00
We can talk a little bit.
3
SPEAKER_00
Three sentences.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ll comment, David, though, because I was an extra on SNL.
3
SPEAKER_00
When I was there?
3
SPEAKER_01
This is the worst story.
3
SPEAKER_00
No, you had left like the year before.
3
SPEAKER_00
And being, let me just go back, but David- Oh, we re gonna dog ear that one, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, David.
3
SPEAKER_00
Fucked you over.
3
SPEAKER_00
You could see in the monitors what was going on in rehearsal, and you could hear it.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, oh, David s the funniest one.
3
SPEAKER_00
Because he was riffing.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t remember what you were doing.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then when the air show came, he would freeze up a little bit.
3
SPEAKER_02
He was funny.
3
SPEAKER_01
David was always the funniest.
3
SPEAKER_00
So funny.
3
SPEAKER_01
Rehearsals show you, yeah, I mean, rehearsal, I didn t know back then, they were probably taping him, but you re just bullshitting with your friends saying, by the way, anything, forgetting you re on camera.
3
SPEAKER_01
But when Kyle was there, we were doing, it happened to be one of my favorite ones ever, which was the Gap Girls.
3
SPEAKER_01
Lay Off Me, I m Starving.
3
SPEAKER_01
Lay Off Me, I m Starving.
3
SPEAKER_01
And Kyle, not only was he there,
3
SPEAKER_01
He was a extra, and they put him in the Gap Girl sketch, and they put him in a primo spot behind us.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was super excited.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was really excited about that.
3
SPEAKER_02
So you were just on camera with no lines throughout the sketch?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and I m just right next to Chris Farley.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m like, this is probably my big break.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m not sure.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s hysterical.
3
SPEAKER_00
About to go out and David Cummings is already like, yeah, this is my friend, whoever wants this.
3
SPEAKER_01
My buddy was visiting from Arizona and I d never done this ever.
3
SPEAKER_01
You guys are flip flopping.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I fucking go, can he be in this?
3
SPEAKER_01
They go, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I go, Rick, why don t you sit here?
3
SPEAKER_01
And they pulled Kyle out.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, they flipped me, so like, we ll get you the back of your head, Kyle, and my friend will get the... And then he became famous off that.
3
SPEAKER_00
He got a deal off that extra work.
3
SPEAKER_02
Can I ask a question about this?
3
SPEAKER_02
Like, when... Just for a second, because I don t know that part of you.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like, when did you start being a comedian?
3
SPEAKER_02
Trying to be professional.
3
SPEAKER_02
Was your first stand-up at 18?
3
SPEAKER_02
Or were you doing little shows for your parents when you were 10?
3
SPEAKER_00
We have all different... When I was younger, I didn t...
3
SPEAKER_00
I remember being laughed at, but not like me trying to be funny, but like humiliating things.
3
SPEAKER_02
Just in school?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, my very first memory was my whole family laughing.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, my, my grandmother was like, I was like, what s this Nana?
3
SPEAKER_00
And it was a place, Matt.
3
SPEAKER_00
We got like a choo-choo place.
3
SPEAKER_00
And she goes, oh, you eat on that.
3
SPEAKER_00
And my little brain was like, eat.
3
SPEAKER_00
on it didn t make sense, but eat it made sense.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was like, I can skip that little word.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I just started eating it and I came in, I was trying to eat that.
3
SPEAKER_00
And this, but first memories, everyone like, ah, and then I got to school and people would laugh at me, but I wasn t trying to be funny.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was little, I think we re like three little guys, right?
3
SPEAKER_00
Three of us were like little guys.
3
SPEAKER_02
height and weight when you entered high school?
3
SPEAKER_00
I know all I know is the tiniest except my friend Michael was like a half inch and I love because when they line you up it was like Michael year on the end I would but I was always number two but I remember they had superlatives where they go you know best-looking most likely succeed
3
SPEAKER_00
and the popular girls come up to me and they never talked to me and they were like, we decided you re the funniest.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
And it was like eighth grade, I was like 12 years old.
3
SPEAKER_00
So before school- You know what I say to that?
3
SPEAKER_01
I go, you hungry?
3
SPEAKER_01
And they go, what?
3
SPEAKER_01
And you go, it s early, I m gonna ask you again later.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I didn t really know or think I was funny and then-
3
SPEAKER_00
The lobby of the, before you go into school, there s like a lobby and everyone hangs out.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh, it s terrifying.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Junior high.
3
SPEAKER_00
Right, right.
3
SPEAKER_00
And this big, the big bully, Scott Chapman comes up to me, pushes me and he goes, you re not funny.
3
SPEAKER_00
Whoa.
3
SPEAKER_00
The word got out that I was going to be the funniest and he wanted to be the funny guy.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, yeah, okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t, I don t think you re right.
3
SPEAKER_02
He beat the funny out of you.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
And he goes, I m funnier than you.
3
SPEAKER_00
Now everyone starts gathering around us.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like there s going to be some fun fight.
3
SPEAKER_00
Instead of a funny fight?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s eight miles?
3
SPEAKER_00
So what does he say?
3
SPEAKER_00
I backed it.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was like, you are like, I totally agree.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is hilarious what you re doing.
3
SPEAKER_00
So then I got voted class clown.
3
SPEAKER_00
I got upset about it because, um, clown, it kind of hit me.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s not good, especially when you re 12 and you want to be liked by girls.
3
SPEAKER_00
And it was like the popular girls.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was like, oh, they look at me like I m this like clown.
3
SPEAKER_00
So, my friend was really sweet, and he was intending to do something nice, but he went to the principal or whatever and was like, Kyle s upset, the clown, called the clown.
3
SPEAKER_00
So they changed it to best personality.
3
SPEAKER_01
Did your gift for mimicry emerge at that time?
3
SPEAKER_00
Could you do the PE coach?
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that actually got me attention from girls.
3
SPEAKER_00
I did Michael Jackson, this girl I really liked.
3
SPEAKER_00
We d be like, do Michael Jackson, so I d just dance like a monkey.
3
SPEAKER_00
Then one time she d crossed it off her shoe, Michael Jackson, I got hurt personally, like we broke up.
3
SPEAKER_00
But did you do the voice or just do a little dance?
3
SPEAKER_00
I do the voice and the dance.
3
SPEAKER_00
I remember, this is a hacky impression now, but I saw, one of my first impressions, I saw Christopher Walken at our local tiny grocery store, Westin, Connecticut, tiny little thing.
3
SPEAKER_00
I d never seen a famous person before, so I was following him around like a creep.
3
SPEAKER_00
And you know the thing when you go to a grocery store and you re like, oh, I just wanna get some batteries, but then you start going, oh, I need that, I need that.
3
SPEAKER_00
So he had this whole pile of stuff.
3
SPEAKER_00
And right before he got to the front, he just jangled it all over the floor.
3
SPEAKER_00
And he goes, oh no, my cottage cheese.
3
SPEAKER_00
And the lady was like, it s fine.
3
SPEAKER_00
And he s like, no, no.
3
SPEAKER_00
You get quiet and be like, I m sorry, he got really loud.
3
SPEAKER_00
And that bug got in my ear and I was like,
3
SPEAKER_00
one of the first impressions I did.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I did impressions, but then I started doing stand-up when I got out to try to make money, because there just was no money in sketch.
3
SPEAKER_00
Out of high school?
3
SPEAKER_00
Out of the world of school, out of college and stuff.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, okay, so early 20s, you started doing stand-up.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and my managers were like, don t do impressions and guitar.
3
SPEAKER_00
So everything that I do well, I didn t do for 20 years until I found Facebook.
3
SPEAKER_02
They told me not to do that either.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, don t do impressions, don t do the Churchill.
3
SPEAKER_02
with bad advice that we got.
3
SPEAKER_01
Later you go, what the fuck do you know?
3
SPEAKER_02
So then what was your, like those years you got on shows pretty quickly, like Cedric the Entertainer, you were a sketch player.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that was, I thought that was like a big break because I was kind of a hit sketch show and I joined mid-season because like we need a white guy to pick on.
3
SPEAKER_00
Before we would do the show, it was like a funny little thing, they would do a prayer circle and Cedric, you know, is very religious and he s holding hands with two Jewish, you know, producers and we re just sitting around.
3
SPEAKER_00
I would just stare at the Jewish producers because they d have to be there like, pray, please Jesus, help these setups land our punch lines and we d be all praying for Jesus.
3
SPEAKER_00
And there was really only like a couple of people who
3
SPEAKER_00
believed in Jesus, but that was before we went out.
3
SPEAKER_00
Prayer circles are awkward.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m not religious, no.
3
SPEAKER_02
Do you have any affiliation with a political party?
3
SPEAKER_02
No.
3
SPEAKER_01
How do you spell your last name, Mr. Dunnigan?
3
SPEAKER_01
Wait, I want to get to some impressions too, but also, oh wait, when did you do cruise ships?
3
SPEAKER_01
Because my buddy does cruise ships and he said they re tough.
3
SPEAKER_00
My friend was like, don t do it, it ll be really bad.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, how could that be bad?
3
SPEAKER_00
How could that be bad?
3
SPEAKER_00
So I go there and cruise ships, three shows a night.
3
SPEAKER_00
And it s a free show.
3
SPEAKER_00
So everyone goes to the show because it s free.
3
SPEAKER_00
They re paid for it.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I m bombing so hard, mostly wheelchairs.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was a very old cruise.
3
SPEAKER_01
You hear people leaving these.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then the walkers after that.
4
SPEAKER_03
He by WD-40 is... And I got... We love when David does that.
4
SPEAKER_03
I know, he does great sound effects.
4
SPEAKER_00
WD-40 gets underplayed in the world, it s out there though.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, but I was famous for being terrible on the ship, so I just hid in my room.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then you go and you re looking over the Lido deck, and it was like, that guy sucked.
4
SPEAKER_00
Are you the guy that s horrible?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so you bombed the first night.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, I bombed every night.
4
SPEAKER_03
No, nothing.
4
SPEAKER_03
Three times a night.
4
SPEAKER_03
Three times a night, where it was just this awful.
4
SPEAKER_03
And then one time, they make you, after the show, say goodbye to everybody.
4
SPEAKER_03
So you bomb, and you got a big thank you for coming.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, so I see this woman sort of hovering.
4
SPEAKER_03
Good game, good game.
4
SPEAKER_03
you know, around me, and I m like, oh, here s a fan, we ll have to deal with this.
4
SPEAKER_03
And she goes, I have to tell you, you look exactly like my dead son.
4
SPEAKER_03
My son just died a month ago.
4
SPEAKER_03
They were gonna cancel this trip and they already bought the tickets and the dad won t look at me.
4
SPEAKER_03
Apparently I look amazingly and sound like her son who just died.
4
SPEAKER_03
So I m like, oh my God, I m so sorry.
4
SPEAKER_03
And then I keep running into her.
4
SPEAKER_03
Cause the ship s not that big.
4
SPEAKER_01
At the buffet, by the pool.
4
SPEAKER_01
Everywhere.
4
SPEAKER_03
And then I went to one bar and I m like, oh God, there she is again.
4
SPEAKER_03
And she s got the rest of her family.
4
SPEAKER_03
And it was like, there he is.
4
SPEAKER_00
There he is.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m like, oh.
4
SPEAKER_00
She confused you dying on stage.
4
SPEAKER_00
You both died.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s amazing.
4
SPEAKER_00
Once you died on stage, I was like, no, that s him.
4
SPEAKER_03
And then she asked me to go rock climbing and- Trying to be the son again?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
And I can t say no to her.
4
SPEAKER_03
So now I m rock climbing and she s staring at me.
4
SPEAKER_03
She starts calling you Michael or something?
4
SPEAKER_03
She was sort of having this thing with me and I had to do it.
4
SPEAKER_03
And I could tell I wasn t- It s a good sitcom.
4
SPEAKER_03
As good as her son.
4
SPEAKER_03
She was like, just climb up.
4
SPEAKER_03
You re not-
4
SPEAKER_03
You re good at this.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
So she s ordering you around like a mom to a son.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Just climb up.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
And just, so you do what she said.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m three feet up terrified.
4
SPEAKER_03
And her son I m sure was like, bing bing.
4
SPEAKER_00
You re the worst fake son.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that was my, that was the week that Obama was, or not Obama, that Bin Laden was killed.
4
SPEAKER_01
Is that Obama?
4
SPEAKER_01
That was my Bin Laden.
4
SPEAKER_01
My Obama s normal like this.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s what you do.
4
SPEAKER_03
My mom points like Obama, not Obama.
4
SPEAKER_01
So then how did you become a genius?
4
SPEAKER_01
Are they two different people?
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_01
Points like Obama?
4
SPEAKER_03
I meant to say Bin Laden.
4
SPEAKER_03
There might be something racist in there, but I kept saying Obama and Bin Laden.
4
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, she just points like a terrorist is saying their blood will run in the streets, but mother s finger gets right in your face like that.
4
SPEAKER_03
Your mom s in your bit sometimes.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, she s really good, actually.
4
SPEAKER_00
Do you tell her what to do or no?
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I actually surprise her, because once she knows she s acting, it s over.
4
SPEAKER_00
She ll come on stage?
4
SPEAKER_03
No, when you film stuff at home.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you do videos?
4
SPEAKER_03
And I ll just, when she s doing dishes, I ll be like, hey mom, I ll just start doing something.
4
SPEAKER_01
She has to improv it?
4
SPEAKER_01
That s Craig.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I do Craig to my mom.
4
SPEAKER_03
Which is hysterical.
4
SPEAKER_03
Craig s hysterical.
4
SPEAKER_03
Thank you.
4
SPEAKER_03
All right, we ll talk about it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Go ahead.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you didn t get to your SNL audition.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yes.
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, we want to get to that.
4
SPEAKER_01
We re just creeping up to like how many years of stand-up and then when do you try out for SNL?
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, yes.
4
SPEAKER_03
And the first time I did stand-up actually was in high school.
4
SPEAKER_03
It was 20 minutes before my friends were like, you should do stand-up.
4
SPEAKER_03
And I was like, okay, because I just did what people told me.
4
SPEAKER_03
And I wrote a set in 20 minutes and the set was 20 minutes.
4
SPEAKER_03
So I don t know what, that must have been very bad.
4
SPEAKER_01
First time music crushes.
4
SPEAKER_03
What s that?
4
SPEAKER_01
First time usually crushes.
4
SPEAKER_03
It did pretty good because I was doing teachers and stuff like that, but I got suspended halfway through it.
4
SPEAKER_03
Everything could go wrong in his life.
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, it s so funny though.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, but the halfway through, the host, this girl was like, you have to stop saying something about, oh, you can t say penis or Ms.
4
SPEAKER_03
O is gonna suspend you, was the thing.
4
SPEAKER_03
And then they were all quiet, like, what happened?
4
SPEAKER_03
And I was like, I m not allowed to say penis anymore.
4
SPEAKER_03
And then I started going, Mike, he ll boss.
4
SPEAKER_03
And then I started doing other names.
4
SPEAKER_03
Then they took me off stage.
4
SPEAKER_03
Anyway.
4
SPEAKER_03
They took you away.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, they took me away in a jacket.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I started, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
I like when you bump with the microphone with your chin while you re talking and you hug it like this.
4
SPEAKER_00
He s hugging it, he s bumping it.
4
SPEAKER_01
So when did you start crushing and get the notion, I want to, and I m highly qualified to be on Saturday Night Live?
4
SPEAKER_03
Uh, I always wanted like, like watching you and stuff.
4
SPEAKER_03
I not that I felt like I d be as good as you, but I thought like I can do that kind of thing.
4
SPEAKER_03
That s like in my wheelhouse, you know?
4
SPEAKER_03
So I really want to do it.
4
SPEAKER_03
And I love the show.
4
SPEAKER_03
You actually almost stopped me from getting, uh, from losing my virginity.
4
SPEAKER_03
It didn t happen, but you almost,
4
SPEAKER_03
I was coming home from a party and this woman who was, this girl, she s like 21, was in my Spanish class and she s on a balcony.
4
SPEAKER_03
She goes, Kyle Dunnigan, get up here.
4
SPEAKER_03
She was hammered.
4
SPEAKER_03
And like, we immediately had, she just decided we were having sex.
4
SPEAKER_03
I don t remember what happened in between, but then I was like, but I almost didn t go up because I was like, I want to go back and see Dana Carvey because SNL was starting.
4
SPEAKER_03
And I almost, but I,
4
SPEAKER_03
I wish I had, because I didn t think I got AIDS from this woman, I knew I got AIDS from this woman.
4
SPEAKER_03
It was back when, if you just had unprotected sex, you got AIDS.
4
SPEAKER_00
Right when it started, everyone thought, yeah, everyone s gonna get it.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I wish I had just, I did, and I wish I hadn t.
4
SPEAKER_00
I got AIDS from watching Dana once.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
So either way, you re above the control.
4
SPEAKER_01
I have that effect on people.
4
SPEAKER_01
Fauci got me, took care of me.
4
SPEAKER_01
We give you the shot, you give me the... The boosters.
4
SPEAKER_01
So you do it accurately.
4
SPEAKER_01
I just punt sometimes.
4
SPEAKER_01
He does it so funny.
4
SPEAKER_01
I just decide how I want him to sound and hope people... He does quieter Fauci.
4
SPEAKER_03
I m a Danikari derivative.
4
SPEAKER_03
You had us crying, laughing, talking about Mickey Rooney.
4
SPEAKER_03
I heard you do it before, but I know it s a true story.
4
SPEAKER_03
You worked with him on a play.
4
SPEAKER_01
No, a TV show, One of the Boys, in 1981.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was cast out of nowhere.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was just a young stand-up.
4
SPEAKER_01
Fred Silverman, the head of NBC.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s Mickey Rooney s grandson.
4
SPEAKER_01
Then I m on a 747 with Nathan Lane.
4
SPEAKER_01
He was going.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s right, he was your brother.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so we became friends, and then we met Mickey, who had a .38 revolver, and literally at least once an hour.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was the number one star in the world.
4
SPEAKER_01
You hear me?
4
SPEAKER_01
Bang.
4
SPEAKER_01
The world.
4
SPEAKER_01
He s not kissing you, he s pulling something.
4
SPEAKER_03
He would say things like he needed money and he would just die laughing.
4
SPEAKER_01
Judy Garland never owned a car.
4
SPEAKER_01
It was non-separate.
4
SPEAKER_01
Why Mickey?
4
SPEAKER_01
Because they pumped her so full of drugs they killed her.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then he would just look off into space.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
I asked him for money.
4
SPEAKER_01
Joe Louis, Joe Louis, he be there studding ya, studding ya.
4
SPEAKER_01
He s getting right up in my face.
4
SPEAKER_01
He s about four foot 10.
4
SPEAKER_01
He s going like this, right to my face.
4
SPEAKER_01
Joe Louis, he slam, bam, Joe Louis, this fireplug will take you out.
4
SPEAKER_01
He referred to himself as a fireplug.
4
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, that s another podcast entirely.
4
SPEAKER_01
But when I first met you, it s kind of interesting.
4
SPEAKER_01
I had dinner with you, because David s very social and I m a homebody.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I didn t really know what you did.
4
SPEAKER_01
I just thought you were funny and a really nice guy.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then I went home and looked you up and went, my God, this is my brother from another mother.
4
SPEAKER_03
I mean, it s an honor that you think that.
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, the evidence is on YouTube, watch it.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s like extraordinary acid-y stuff.
4
SPEAKER_01
The way you do Stallone now, it s like a character as well.
4
SPEAKER_01
There s a sweetness to him kind of.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, it s different than he is.
4
SPEAKER_03
He s actually seen it, which is funny.
4
SPEAKER_03
We ve had Frank Stallone on the show.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, really?
4
SPEAKER_03
And it s really cool to, cause some people like impressions, some people don t like.
4
SPEAKER_01
Why did you find that Stallone, that particular Stallone?
4
SPEAKER_01
You just started doing it.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, just, you know, I was like really like the punchy Stallone, you know?
4
SPEAKER_02
He s just really stupid.
4
SPEAKER_02
He s like confident, you know?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but super sincere.
4
SPEAKER_01
Confidence, stupidity.
4
SPEAKER_02
Call this stupidity, you know?
4
SPEAKER_03
I just did like a, I had him do, he like makes little movies and the last one, which got demonetized, everything gets demonetized that I put out, but he s like doing a documentary on 9-11, but it was like, the day we got 9-11.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that s it.
4
SPEAKER_02
The first building got 9-11ed.
4
SPEAKER_00
What about this?
4
SPEAKER_00
Kyle and I joke about like, if he goes on dates or, you know, we re obviously both older,
4
SPEAKER_00
in our twilight years, back nine.
4
SPEAKER_00
And when we re out, I remember I was with...
4
SPEAKER_00
said Rick, our friend, all my friends are my age.
4
SPEAKER_00
So we were in Las Vegas and we sat at this booth and this girl came, she was our hostess.
4
SPEAKER_00
So they like to blab and then the manager sends her, go talk to those guys.
4
SPEAKER_00
So she just sits with us, but no one invites her.
4
SPEAKER_00
She just sits there, she s 21.
4
SPEAKER_00
She s like, hey guys, so if you re in Vegas, I m like, yeah, that s a safe bet.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then she doesn t have much to say.
5
SPEAKER_03
And so she goes, where are you staying?
5
SPEAKER_03
We re like, oh, at the Mirage.
5
SPEAKER_03
And she goes, oh, fine.
5
SPEAKER_03
That s the one that s got a big fountain.
5
SPEAKER_03
You know, she doesn t know anything.
5
SPEAKER_03
And then my buddy goes, you know, I was there when they built the Mirage.
5
SPEAKER_03
I was there opening night.
5
SPEAKER_03
She s like, huh?
5
SPEAKER_03
I go, Rick, quit advertising how fucking old we are, like built the Mirage.
5
SPEAKER_03
She doesn t even know that it was ever built.
5
SPEAKER_03
She goes, what?
5
SPEAKER_03
And he goes, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_03
And I go, oh yeah.
5
SPEAKER_03
And we were at, he goes, remember the dunes before they blew it up?
5
SPEAKER_03
I go, Rick,
5
SPEAKER_03
It s getting worse.
5
SPEAKER_03
The monkeys were better than the bees.
5
SPEAKER_03
I go, we were at Joey Bishop s 40th at the Dunes.
5
SPEAKER_03
Were you there?
5
SPEAKER_03
No, I m 21 years old and that was 200 years ago.
5
SPEAKER_03
And we just got to be careful because you ve said it before, you slip and say something like, I ve got buddies who are like,
5
SPEAKER_03
Do you use compression socks?
5
SPEAKER_03
And she s like, huh?
5
SPEAKER_03
I m like, why are you talking about the oldest things in the world?
5
SPEAKER_03
I even feel old.
5
SPEAKER_03
I go, you don t wear that.
5
SPEAKER_03
And he goes, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_03
And my other friend s like, when I, if I have like soreness and she goes, I know my arm hurt yesterday.
5
SPEAKER_03
And he s like, oh, do you think it s arthritis?
5
SPEAKER_03
I go, what?
5
SPEAKER_03
It s not arthritis.
5
SPEAKER_03
She s 21.
5
SPEAKER_03
Quit saying the oldest, sickeningest words that even I m at your table going, beat it old man.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, he s not good for you.
5
SPEAKER_01
No, it s just all my friends.
5
SPEAKER_03
What would you say to a penis?
5
SPEAKER_01
No, you re younger.
5
SPEAKER_03
Like, I love, I love penis day.
5
SPEAKER_03
No, there s no conversation.
5
SPEAKER_03
It s just, she was doing her job to say hi.
5
SPEAKER_03
But this happens a lot when fans or just anyone comes up and says hi, and then we just catch ourselves having, it s just too old.
5
SPEAKER_01
You re right, just references.
5
SPEAKER_01
The old vibe.
5
SPEAKER_00
It is hard.
5
SPEAKER_00
My last date that I had, I don t go on many dates because of what happens on them.
5
SPEAKER_00
And she says to me,
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, you re a little long in the tooth.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I don t think we were talking about age or anything.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I thought we had a, yeah, and never heard from her again.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yes, that s how it started, we were talking about that.
5
SPEAKER_00
Long in the tooth, long in the tooth.
5
SPEAKER_01
Long in the tooth, that makes her seem old.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s an old-fashioned.
5
SPEAKER_00
That is old.
5
SPEAKER_01
Maybe she was 62 with a nice lift.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, my dating s not, but I went on a date where the,
5
SPEAKER_00
girl was, she showed up different than what her picture was, just to say that, very different.
5
SPEAKER_00
And she gets in the car and she gets nauseous and every five minutes we re pulling over for her to drool out of the car and then she takes off her shoe and starts rubbing her bare foot.
5
SPEAKER_00
like crossed over.
5
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, it s been going well.
5
SPEAKER_00
So anyway, about SNL.
5
SPEAKER_01
I know a guy who went on a Tinder date with this woman, and she d never, I guess she didn t have a lot of money, but they took her to her sushi restaurant, and she just kept saying, I wanna stab it.
5
SPEAKER_01
I wanna stab it.
5
SPEAKER_01
So she had a fork, she was just stabbing the sushi.
5
SPEAKER_01
What do you mean, just a little piece of sushi?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I wanna stab it.
5
SPEAKER_03
I ll tell you one last story of when my waiter, who s German...
5
SPEAKER_03
I was, there was a picture of me kissing a girl in a pool that was secretly taken or whatever, but it was kind of all over the place because it just was a weird match of people, me and her.
5
SPEAKER_03
Actually, it was just weird because she was cute and I m gross.
5
SPEAKER_03
That s really the headline.
5
SPEAKER_03
And so my waiter goes, hey.
5
SPEAKER_03
So it s definitely very weird, you know, like I obviously I m aware of it and it s weird.
5
SPEAKER_03
And then about a week later, the guy goes, hey, he knows me.
5
SPEAKER_02
How was your vacation, huh?
5
SPEAKER_02
I go, okay, and he goes, ah, a little pool party, huh?
5
SPEAKER_03
I go, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
He goes, ah, a little fun in the sun, huh?
5
SPEAKER_02
I go, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
And he goes, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_03
I saw pictures of you kissing a girl.
5
SPEAKER_03
I go, yeah, I know, I know what you re talking about.
5
SPEAKER_03
He goes, oh, why do they make you so fat in that?
5
SPEAKER_03
I go, what do you mean?
5
SPEAKER_03
He goes, you get out of the pool, it s like, I didn t know you were kind of fat, but why do you want that picture?
5
SPEAKER_03
I don t want that.
5
SPEAKER_03
What are you talking about?
5
SPEAKER_03
I go, that s what a paparazzi is.
5
SPEAKER_03
They take a hundred pictures of you and find the grossest one.
5
SPEAKER_03
And then they go, they got a jeweler s loop and they go, he looks fat and gross here.
5
SPEAKER_03
We got a winner, run with it.
5
SPEAKER_03
And then someone runs it to the press room, but he goes, no, I wouldn t pick that.
5
SPEAKER_03
He doesn t get it.
5
SPEAKER_03
He goes, no, I wouldn t pick that one.
5
SPEAKER_03
Cause you know, you look kind of fat and you want to look good.
5
SPEAKER_03
I go,
5
SPEAKER_03
You don t understand what I m saying.
5
SPEAKER_03
He goes, no.
5
SPEAKER_03
We need to get a lot of people out of your life.
5
SPEAKER_01
No, that guy, he s all right.
5
SPEAKER_01
Let s put on Speedos.
5
SPEAKER_01
Go to the beach.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m an easy target.
5
SPEAKER_01
Promenade around and then run to the web and see if Daily Mail.
5
SPEAKER_01
All right, SNL audition, that s all.
5
SPEAKER_01
SNL audition.
5
SPEAKER_01
At this point, let s just say you re a seasoned standup and you probably do pretty much any accent and at least 50 top notch impressions.
5
SPEAKER_01
Have you done Amy Schumer s show yet at this point?
5
SPEAKER_03
You ve done any of that stuff, writing?
5
SPEAKER_00
No, I had done Cedric, which was a sketch show, but I never worked on any, there was no reason to really work on any impressions or characters because I wasn t doing it on YouTube and there was no money in doing it.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was doing stand-up and doing- Yeah, you do just straight stand-ups.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, just doing straight stand-ups.
5
SPEAKER_01
Extremely funny as well.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
5
SPEAKER_00
I always feel like square peg into doing stand-up Like I m trying to do scenes and stand that was the same with me.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I was always I didn t realize that till later Mm-hmm wonder it was difficult in a honky-tonk bar So
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so what I did was I just made a random tape of impressions and sent it in not even thinking because nothing was going on and I was broke and somehow they were like flew me out and decided that I would audition and it felt like way too big suddenly.
5
SPEAKER_00
It was like the next day I was flying out
5
SPEAKER_00
And I m trying to write the thing and I m really, really nervous.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I m in a hotel for two days, just running it.
5
SPEAKER_00
And you got to like, here s my six minutes or whatever, trying to get it correctly on time, which is the wrong, you know, I know I m in the wrong mind frame.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I get there and it s, it was 30 of us.
5
SPEAKER_00
It was Nick.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yes, 30 people.
5
SPEAKER_00
Nick Kroll was there and he was talking about that.
5
SPEAKER_00
And he was with John Mulaney who looked really young.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was like, hey, how old?
5
SPEAKER_00
Do I know you?
5
SPEAKER_00
He s like, no, I m five.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m this many.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I was like, this guy s not gonna make it.
5
SPEAKER_00
I ve never heard of John Mulaney.
5
SPEAKER_01
Let me absorb that.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m five.
5
SPEAKER_01
He made jokes about how young he looked.
5
SPEAKER_01
He does.
5
SPEAKER_01
He looked really, really young.
5
SPEAKER_01
Crazy for the high school students.
5
SPEAKER_01
So he s auditioning too.
5
SPEAKER_01
He s auditioning really good people.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it s the same night or day as Nick Kroll.
5
SPEAKER_00
Nick Kroll.
5
SPEAKER_00
30 people.
5
SPEAKER_00
30 so many.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s a death march.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I m just like white knuckling and I m just like, please not first.
5
SPEAKER_00
I just wanna go first.
5
SPEAKER_00
Let someone else figure this out.
5
SPEAKER_00
Uh, no.
5
SPEAKER_01
Was this in 8-H?
5
SPEAKER_00
I think people could actually, but I, no, we were in the Conan studio because they were doing the Olympics.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, 6-A.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, 6-4, Rockefeller Center.
5
SPEAKER_00
But they re like, first up is Kyle Dunnigan.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I was like- Out of 30?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I know, that s, what are the odds of that?
5
SPEAKER_00
3% odds?
5
SPEAKER_00
3.3% odds?
5
SPEAKER_00
So I went into the, you can do this.
5
SPEAKER_00
Hey, you got this, buddy.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I m having trouble.
5
SPEAKER_00
He didn t have this.
5
SPEAKER_00
Spoiler.
5
SPEAKER_00
So they re micing me up, which is nerve wracking in itself when someone s micing you, and the camera guy s like, I m gonna count you in three, two, one, you re writing me stuff.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m getting nervous, this is so well told.
5
SPEAKER_00
Crew guys have too much power to ruin that.
5
SPEAKER_01
The mic thing and all that, okay, kid.
5
SPEAKER_01
Is that good for you?
5
SPEAKER_01
Do you like it right now?
5
SPEAKER_01
And they re not nervous at all.
5
SPEAKER_01
Where do you want your radio pack?
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you want it right in your pocket?
5
SPEAKER_00
It s all these questions you don t want to think about.
5
SPEAKER_00
So he goes, I m gonna count you right into your stuff.
5
SPEAKER_00
Three, two, one, you go right into your stuff.
5
SPEAKER_00
So he said to me, my stuff.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I had that locked in my head.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I walk out and the camera s in front of me and Lauren and everybody are to the left.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I m just staring at the camera.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh no, any applause at all?
5
SPEAKER_01
No, just silence.
5
SPEAKER_00
Nothing s happening.
5
SPEAKER_00
You just walk out.
5
SPEAKER_00
Nothing s happening.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then Lauren goes, hello?
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, hello, say hello to us, we re over here.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I go, oh, hello, hi, hi.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I turned back to the camera and more dead silence.
5
SPEAKER_00
And the guy s not counting me in, you know?
5
SPEAKER_00
And then Lawrence says something.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m already on thin ice and that just crushed me through the ice into the water.
5
SPEAKER_00
He goes, are you okay?
5
SPEAKER_00
And then I start trying to tell him the guy, I go, well, he said three, two, he knows he s about to get tattled on, so he counts me in when the red light goes on.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I m just destroyed.
5
SPEAKER_00
I can t get to any facility or impression.
5
SPEAKER_00
My brain s like, look, all hands on deck to make this guy pass out.
5
SPEAKER_00
Drop the Bill Maher.
5
SPEAKER_00
We re not doing any of that.
5
SPEAKER_00
We re just going to breathe, you know, Caitlin, you know, or, you know, whatever.
5
SPEAKER_00
She wasn t alive.
5
SPEAKER_00
It was alive.
5
SPEAKER_00
She wasn t anyway.
5
SPEAKER_00
Um, so I came in, they brought a piano out for me.
5
SPEAKER_00
I can t play the piano.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like I m just plunking on it.
5
SPEAKER_00
And every impression sounds the same.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m like, this is Chris Hanson.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m Chris Hanson.
5
SPEAKER_00
This is blah, blah, blah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Sort of outside myself.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then I walk out, like, I just got beat up.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then the producers go to everybody else, guys, when you go
6
SPEAKER_01
out there, say hi to Lorne, okay?
6
SPEAKER_01
And so everyone after me was like, hi, yeah, anyway.
6
SPEAKER_01
And be funny.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s fine.
6
SPEAKER_00
How many were out there?
6
SPEAKER_00
Lorne was like 10 people?
6
SPEAKER_01
It was probably 10 people, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
And they were sort of to your left and the camera was center.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I didn t know where to look.
6
SPEAKER_00
So you didn t know where to place.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I didn t know where, I don t know if it was good to them or the camera, but the camera guy, it seemed like that was the thing to do.
6
SPEAKER_01
What was your Bill Maher there?
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay, people Do you think you re one of those people?
6
SPEAKER_00
No one does anyone else do him I don t think you re to me your hook was the okay
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay, people.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Whiny, whiny, whiny.
6
SPEAKER_01
Do you really think you don t?
6
SPEAKER_01
You re wrong.
6
SPEAKER_01
Church lady, do you think there s a magic man in the sky?
6
SPEAKER_01
There s not.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
6
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s sustaining the okay.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
Eve was a pig.
6
SPEAKER_01
She was made out of ribs.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, because he admonishes his audience so directly.
6
SPEAKER_00
You think this and you think that.
6
SPEAKER_01
Everything sounds sarcastic.
6
SPEAKER_01
You think you re good.
6
SPEAKER_01
I bet even if he was trying to be sincere, I m sort of like that, where people think I m not sincere.
6
SPEAKER_01
Him ordering frozen yogurt.
6
SPEAKER_01
I ll have the rum raisin, because it s delicious, okay?
6
SPEAKER_01
I ll have the go-gurt.
6
SPEAKER_00
What impressions did you do on SNL Audition?
6
SPEAKER_01
The attempted.
6
SPEAKER_01
I did Chris Hansen, who was big at the time.
6
SPEAKER_01
How does he go?
6
SPEAKER_00
Can you do him now?
6
SPEAKER_00
You re not nervous now.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he was from To Catch a Predator.
6
SPEAKER_01
He was trying to have sex with little girls.
6
SPEAKER_01
His screen name was, yup, you guessed it, Boner 95.
6
SPEAKER_01
He was trying to have sex.
6
SPEAKER_01
He does like nine notes in the one word sax.
6
SPEAKER_01
He goes, saaax.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, he s so lascivious.
6
SPEAKER_00
He s got a new show on, I was watching.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s just, everything is so cryptic.
6
SPEAKER_01
And it s come out, he s kind of a criminal, sort of, which is interesting.
6
SPEAKER_00
He s quiet.
6
SPEAKER_00
Quietly.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
And what was your one that never failed that you couldn t get to that day with Lauren watching?
6
SPEAKER_01
None of them sounded like any of them.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you really couldn t get in the voice from nerves.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I was so shell-shocked.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s almost like if you re afraid of bees and there s bees around you.
6
SPEAKER_01
I couldn t even begin to get to my voice.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s really so inefficient, this thing, because Steve Carell, when he auditioned for the show I did in 96, he came in and he was really nervous.
6
SPEAKER_00
And he wasn t really doing well, but I was such a horrible auditioner that later I looked at his tape.
6
SPEAKER_00
And of course, Louis and Smigel loved him too, but it was like, oh no, he was just nervous.
6
SPEAKER_00
Didn t mean a thing to me.
6
SPEAKER_03
It would be almost better if you put it on tape and sent it in, because then you just do it on your own time, your own speed, you get it the best it is.
6
SPEAKER_01
I know, I think so.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I hear that they do try to rattle you.
6
SPEAKER_01
I know Nick was saying that.
6
SPEAKER_01
So maybe they do, but they,
6
SPEAKER_01
Lauren, if you re listening, you don t have to, everyone s really nervous.
6
SPEAKER_01
You re already really nervous.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I get it s a live show, you better be able to handle it.
6
SPEAKER_01
And there s an argument for that.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like I wasn t ready to do that show.
6
SPEAKER_03
You know, it s funny when, I don t remember this, but Louis CK, when he auditioned, I think he auditioned where we did maybe Catch Rising Star, one of those places, a standup comedy club, where me and Robbie Schneider did.
6
SPEAKER_03
And when I was on the other side of it, it was like,
6
SPEAKER_03
Oh, there s auditions tonight if anybody wants to go, like Marcy would say, you guys.
6
SPEAKER_03
And so Downey, so a bunch of us went down.
6
SPEAKER_03
Because I was still a writer also and performer.
6
SPEAKER_03
I had no pull, but I don t know if it was Lorne, but it was maybe that first one is everybody else.
6
SPEAKER_03
Maybe it s Lorne, but you know, it s still scary.
6
SPEAKER_03
Smigel, Downey, Frank, you know, all of us.
6
SPEAKER_03
And then a bunch of scattered writers and producers and then
6
SPEAKER_03
Louis said he was going on and we were walking in when they introduced him and he said, I shushed everyone to be quiet so he could start.
6
SPEAKER_03
I don t remember that, but it sounds about right that you would go, I just did this two years ago and I know how sick he is backstage going, oh no, I got to go on.
6
SPEAKER_03
And then
6
SPEAKER_03
And then you re up there like, well, they re not here yet.
6
SPEAKER_03
And then they go, ladies and gentlemen, and they go, oh, they re coming in.
6
SPEAKER_03
And you re like, wait, that s exactly like a horrible situation.
6
SPEAKER_03
What do you do?
6
SPEAKER_03
Do you not start your best jokes at the top?
6
SPEAKER_03
No one s listening.
6
SPEAKER_02
Everyone s like, I ll get a vodka soda.
6
SPEAKER_02
Do you guys have a potato skins?
6
SPEAKER_03
No, no, just listen right now is the only part you need to hear.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then we can do whatever.
6
SPEAKER_00
At one point, Lauren did stop me.
6
SPEAKER_00
I got to be seen in a comedy club, but I also did the thing you did with like eight people there.
6
SPEAKER_00
Is that all you ve got or is that pretty much what he said?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
But I thought later it was to see if I would blink.
6
SPEAKER_00
But I had a rough childhood.
6
SPEAKER_00
I know yours was a peaches and cream.
6
SPEAKER_00
It really was.
6
SPEAKER_00
So I had a lot of anger in me that I would translate into competitiveness.
6
SPEAKER_00
Sometimes I had a little bit of like, okay,
6
SPEAKER_01
I saw that audition that you re talking about.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s online somewhere, and you were really funny.
6
SPEAKER_01
I remember that, and I remember thinking, wow, that s really tough.
6
SPEAKER_01
You were like, I remember there was like a microphone, like, oh, penis.
6
SPEAKER_01
You started doing Robin Williams.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it was an easy one to do.
6
SPEAKER_00
I felt like I kind of bombed.
6
SPEAKER_00
I felt very nervous, but you know, part of
6
SPEAKER_00
stand up and show businesses hiding nerves, right?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Just that s it.
6
SPEAKER_03
Well, I think his argument is, well, when it s live to the world, we don t need you freezing up.
6
SPEAKER_01
I think that s a legit thing for him to do.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s sort of true.
6
SPEAKER_00
I just think that if the government mandated that you would do Saturday Night Live, you would have flourished because you get desensitized.
6
SPEAKER_00
It just takes time.
6
SPEAKER_01
There s also, once you have a job, some people, and I think I m like, the ones that have a job, I relax.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s more like they re trying to get the job.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, because it s just, there s Lorne, this is thing, and I came on, there was just the original cast and then there s Billy Crystal, Eddie Murphy years.
6
SPEAKER_00
So there was, the legacy was only 10 years old.
6
SPEAKER_00
So imagine people coming in now, it s like 45 years of comedians and pitchers.
6
SPEAKER_00
Here s what you got to compete with, you know?
6
SPEAKER_01
I think you saved the show because I love you.
6
SPEAKER_01
No, I mean, I really, if you think about that show is dead.
6
SPEAKER_01
I mean, no, you elevated it.
6
SPEAKER_01
You saved it again.
6
SPEAKER_01
You re the funniest guy.
6
SPEAKER_01
I kept you on the air.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s at the baton, but I was like, here Adam, here Chris, here David.
6
SPEAKER_03
I can t even argue that Dana was so good on there.
6
SPEAKER_01
I want to.
6
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it was also that time, I don t remember anyone talking about it.
6
SPEAKER_01
I mean, Robert Downey Jr.
6
SPEAKER_01
was in the cast.
6
SPEAKER_00
In 85, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Did you overlap with him?
6
SPEAKER_00
No, I was right after that Purge year.
6
SPEAKER_00
Weird cast.
6
SPEAKER_00
Where Madonna did the cold opening, my first show, saying that last year was just a dream, it never happened.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, is that what she did?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
Because it was like, yeah, going to,
6
SPEAKER_01
Iron Man for your laughs.
6
SPEAKER_01
He s great.
6
SPEAKER_00
But I was nervous as hell and I had shitty shows and you know, it was just you do get used to it, but there is an aggression to it.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s a rock and roll show.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s like aggressive.
6
SPEAKER_01
It was scary being an extra and they re like counting down and all the extras get nervous.
6
SPEAKER_01
I thought I d really made it or something and they sent all the extras into their
6
SPEAKER_01
Donahue room, and they re like, you stay in here.
6
SPEAKER_01
You don t look at the cast in the eye.
6
SPEAKER_01
We re gonna come in here every 20 minutes and beat you with a stick.
6
SPEAKER_03
And you could feel like, oh, we re... I remember when Kyle came right up to me and he said, hey, you accidentally switched me in the booth during Gap Girls, and can you just go ahead and fix that?
6
SPEAKER_03
Because it s harder for me to be on camera.
6
SPEAKER_03
Actually, you were in one of my favorite Gaff Girls sketches I ever did.
6
SPEAKER_01
I know, it s funny, I have a memory of being there.
6
SPEAKER_01
Unreal.
6
SPEAKER_00
So you were there as David s friend?
6
SPEAKER_00
You were friends at that point?
6
SPEAKER_03
No, I didn t know him.
6
SPEAKER_01
I was in the booth with him.
6
SPEAKER_03
No, you were in the booth, not with us, but you were in the booth right on camera.
6
SPEAKER_03
I was with your friend.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, with my buddy.
6
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, we just flip-flopped sides to the back of my head.
6
SPEAKER_03
I m sure he iced you once when he was on camera.
6
SPEAKER_03
He said once Farley sat down, his acting career was 100% over.
6
SPEAKER_03
It was funny, then Farley shifted or something and it was like an eclipse.
6
SPEAKER_00
Arnold said that about Danny DeVito.
6
SPEAKER_00
You never get Danny, never have him sit down because he loses the energy.
6
SPEAKER_00
You ve got to keep Danny on his feet.
6
SPEAKER_01
You ve got to pump him up.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you must do Arnold, of course.
6
SPEAKER_00
Who can t you do?
6
SPEAKER_00
A little bit.
6
SPEAKER_00
Who do you want to do?
6
SPEAKER_03
Who are your favorites that you do?
6
SPEAKER_03
I can t do you guys.
6
SPEAKER_03
Did you do anything on Amy Schumer?
6
SPEAKER_00
No, I didn t do my voice.
6
SPEAKER_00
I have a blank voice.
6
SPEAKER_00
Hi, I m Danica Kirby.
6
SPEAKER_01
He has a voice.
6
SPEAKER_01
He has kind of a cool... He s like a throwaway thing that I start to do and I don t think about it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Doing him throw away a thing you get to his timber though cuz he has kind of a this is David Spade everybody He has kind of a timber.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s a lower register.
6
SPEAKER_03
It s more of a laziness Because my jaw always hurts When you re on Amy Schumer you were a writer and did you will get you out of here sooner
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, what s Amy Schumer like?
6
SPEAKER_03
Was it fun to be a writer on that?
6
SPEAKER_03
Was it good?
6
SPEAKER_03
You wrote some good sketches.
6
SPEAKER_03
It was pretty much a heyday for her show, right?
6
SPEAKER_01
It was a big, big show.
6
SPEAKER_03
Big show.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it was a really good schedule too, because we d come in and have like really basic pitches.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like this is a guy owns a hamburger shop, but he s afraid of hamburgers or whatever.
6
SPEAKER_01
That d be your whole pitch.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then they go, okay, right.
6
SPEAKER_01
Ham, scared hamburger guy.
6
SPEAKER_01
And this other
7
SPEAKER_03
a sketch and we d go home for three days and we d send it in on Thursday.
7
SPEAKER_05
Oh, really?
7
SPEAKER_03
And then on Friday we d get notes and then we d fix it.
7
SPEAKER_03
So it s like we lived lives.
7
SPEAKER_03
Oh, you didn t just sit there and soak in sweat and fear like we did.
7
SPEAKER_02
So you got trained to be a sketch writer on that show.
7
SPEAKER_02
They hired you from your standup?
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, she just hired me from standup.
7
SPEAKER_02
So there was no crazy audition with Amy there going on?
7
SPEAKER_02
No, no, no.
7
SPEAKER_02
Did you worm your way on?
7
SPEAKER_03
They auditioned me, I don t know if you ve heard what happens.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
7
SPEAKER_02
What?
7
SPEAKER_02
What?
7
SPEAKER_02
What are you talking about?
7
SPEAKER_02
We want to trend.
7
SPEAKER_02
We never trend.
7
SPEAKER_02
No, but she s funny.
7
SPEAKER_02
We would love you to be on the show, Amy.
7
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, did you get on the show?
7
SPEAKER_03
Did you do anything on the show?
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, originally it was...
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I was on a few things.
7
SPEAKER_05
Okay, could you have a softer answer?
7
SPEAKER_05
And then I was on stuff.
7
SPEAKER_05
I was on this show.
7
SPEAKER_05
We ll be right back.
7
SPEAKER_02
What was the highlight so far then?
7
SPEAKER_02
Cause you, when did you just fucking destroy at a club or a gig that you went, okay.
7
SPEAKER_02
Cause I ve seen some, I think you were Toronto Comedy Festival or Montreal.
7
SPEAKER_02
and you re destroying, just stand up.
7
SPEAKER_02
You saw me there?
7
SPEAKER_02
No, I saw it on YouTube.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh, oh.
7
SPEAKER_02
I mean, it was kind of destruction.
7
SPEAKER_02
I remember it being.
7
SPEAKER_05
Oh, thanks.
7
SPEAKER_02
Have you ever destroyed?
7
SPEAKER_05
Or are you not remembering this?
7
SPEAKER_05
Dana said I just destroyed.
7
SPEAKER_02
I think he must ve destroyed because I look at the talent and then I think of the number of times on stage, I mean, what a loss.
7
SPEAKER_02
He s got to.
7
SPEAKER_05
You were killed a couple years ago somewhere.
7
SPEAKER_02
I m not going to follow you.
7
SPEAKER_02
If we go out on a little fun night, David likes to hit the clubs.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, hit it.
7
SPEAKER_02
That was Kyle Dunnigan.
7
SPEAKER_02
And now Danil Forfo, the living museum piece.
7
SPEAKER_02
That s what I feel.
7
SPEAKER_02
He s still alive.
7
SPEAKER_02
Let s bring him out.
7
SPEAKER_02
No, you do.
7
SPEAKER_02
The longer you stay around, you become a museum piece.
7
SPEAKER_05
I followed Seinfeld the other day.
7
SPEAKER_05
Can I get a picture, dude?
7
SPEAKER_05
Seinfeld goes, I m gonna go do some new stuff.
7
SPEAKER_05
I go, alright.
7
SPEAKER_05
And I m like, oh, this is great news.
7
SPEAKER_05
Maybe he ll bomb, you know.
7
SPEAKER_02
You re gonna follow Jerry Seinfeld?
7
SPEAKER_05
It was just at the Improv.
7
SPEAKER_05
He just came up and he goes, I m gonna do a set.
7
SPEAKER_05
You wanna go on?
7
SPEAKER_05
And you want me to go on?
7
SPEAKER_05
I go, why don t you go and then you can get out of here.
7
SPEAKER_05
We shot the shit for a little bit.
7
SPEAKER_05
He goes, I m gonna try some stuff.
7
SPEAKER_05
And then when I followed him, I go,
7
SPEAKER_05
I think that stuff s working.
7
SPEAKER_05
I don t know.
7
SPEAKER_05
I think it s done.
7
SPEAKER_05
You fixed it.
7
SPEAKER_05
It s not really amateur hour.
7
SPEAKER_05
No one works harder than him.
7
SPEAKER_02
Or Louie s as well, but just as far as just writing, just writing and writing.
7
SPEAKER_03
I did the comedy cellar and it was Jerry Seinfeld went up, then Robin Williams, and then Chris Rock, and then I was next.
7
SPEAKER_03
well that would be a tough to robin before when was this is just after that that s a tough spot
7
SPEAKER_02
That was a tough spot.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh, look at this one.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh, Kyle Dunnigan.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh, the leprechaun man.
7
SPEAKER_02
Alright, my last story.
7
SPEAKER_02
We represent the lollipop guild.
7
SPEAKER_01
We represent the lollipop guild.
7
SPEAKER_02
No, Robin was the fly.
7
SPEAKER_05
I was doing the improv and they said, you know, I hosted it a lot when I was in the beginning, before SNL and all that, just to get on stage.
7
SPEAKER_05
I mean, of course, they go, Bud would say, oh, David, why don t you, do you want to stand in the halls?
7
SPEAKER_05
Don t stand in the halls.
7
SPEAKER_05
And he goes, do you want to host one night?
7
SPEAKER_05
It s not about the money, it s the honor.
7
SPEAKER_05
And I was like, do I get a pineapple chicken dinner at least?
7
SPEAKER_05
Because I d have to eat there, I have no money.
7
SPEAKER_05
So I was, now and then they d have a showcase night.
7
SPEAKER_05
So they had me do seven minutes for star search or whoever.
7
SPEAKER_05
And I m standing there waiting.
7
SPEAKER_05
And it s a good crowd, it s packed, and I m next, and the guy s finishing up, he got the light, and then behind me I hear, grrr.
7
SPEAKER_05
Touched shoulder, David Spade?
7
SPEAKER_05
And I go, oh hey Robin, I don t know Robin really well at all, I met him through Bobcat.
7
SPEAKER_05
And I go, oh hey, and then it hit me.
7
SPEAKER_05
You re not fucking going to go on, are you?
7
SPEAKER_05
And he goes, I m just going to jump on real quick.
7
SPEAKER_05
I go, of course.
7
SPEAKER_05
And then he went on, did 45 and he annihilated, raped and pillaged.
7
SPEAKER_05
And then, and while I was like a salmon because he walked off and the whole crowd left with him and I was trying to get to the stage.
7
SPEAKER_05
And follow him into the street.
7
SPEAKER_02
Like the Pied Piper.
7
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, I was like, excuse me, pardon me, like Bugs Bunny.
7
SPEAKER_05
And I finally get the stage.
7
SPEAKER_05
It was about 18 people out of the whole club.
7
SPEAKER_05
And all the people that went to see me laugh, they re like, ah, it s not going to get any better than that.
7
SPEAKER_03
I had one run-in with Bud where I was at the comic strip in New York and I was eating Chinese food.
7
SPEAKER_03
And he goes, hey, can I have a little bit of that?
7
SPEAKER_03
And I go, no.
7
SPEAKER_03
And he goes, I don t know who you are, but you ll never work in LA.
7
SPEAKER_03
I thought he was joking, I thought he was joking back.
7
SPEAKER_03
And he may have been joking, I still don t know to this day.
7
SPEAKER_03
Who was talking to you, Bud Friedman?
7
SPEAKER_02
Bud Friedman, he runs all the improvs.
7
SPEAKER_02
He was in New York?
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, he used to comic strip.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I thought we were kind of joking.
7
SPEAKER_02
Take it outside.
7
SPEAKER_02
I did him on SNL, didn t do very well.
7
SPEAKER_02
Take it outside, take it outside.
7
SPEAKER_02
And the monocle, it kind of bombed it.
7
SPEAKER_02
Just for the fans listening, Robin Williams, I got to know him really well the last five, 10 years of his life, because he moved out to Marin where I was raising my kids.
7
SPEAKER_02
Played a little local theater.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, this shyest, sweetest,
7
SPEAKER_02
The dichotomy between the powerhouse on stage, and to me, it s like Elvis charisma, because he was so introvert, so shy, and so deferential, called everyone boss.
7
SPEAKER_02
Okay, boss?
7
SPEAKER_02
All right, boss.
7
SPEAKER_02
And then he would go on stage, and he had such likability, and to me, he was like a Shakespearean actor.
7
SPEAKER_02
coming on stage as if he had nothing.
7
SPEAKER_02
So he created this whole, cause he was always saying, oh, did I take anything from you?
7
SPEAKER_02
He was always making amends.
7
SPEAKER_02
I said, no, I, I tried to be you.
7
SPEAKER_02
I stole your whole act, you know?
7
SPEAKER_02
And, uh, right.
7
SPEAKER_05
He walks on like he s got nothing and then he s.
7
SPEAKER_05
Even the improv, it s a Rolodex of like, if I think of this, I do have a joke about that.
7
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, yeah, right.
7
SPEAKER_05
If you say this.
7
SPEAKER_02
And his commitment, you know, I d pick up a little plaster and think, oh, a flying saucer.
7
SPEAKER_02
There was this one time, I think it was Albert Brooks that said, said, Robin, it s okay, sister.
7
SPEAKER_02
Because when Robin would get on, he couldn t stop himself.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
Anyway.
7
SPEAKER_05
Alright, well enough about Kyle.
7
SPEAKER_05
Kyle, thank you for coming on.
7
SPEAKER_02
Let s start the podcast.
7
SPEAKER_02
I m warmed up.
7
SPEAKER_05
Kyle did a great job, and Kyle s a guy you gotta check out on YouTube.
7
SPEAKER_02
Kyle Dunnigan, okay, compliment alert.
7
SPEAKER_02
If you like comedy, you gotta go on Kyle Dunnigan s YouTube channel.
7
SPEAKER_02
KyleDunnigan.com?
7
SPEAKER_03
KyleDunnigan.com is great.
7
SPEAKER_02
I wear your merch hoodie.
7
SPEAKER_05
And I ve sold a couple.
7
SPEAKER_02
Really?
7
SPEAKER_02
There s a plethora.
7
SPEAKER_02
I love it.
7
SPEAKER_02
And what is your latest favorite voice?
7
SPEAKER_02
Is it Biden?
7
SPEAKER_03
Because he s so current now?
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, also Alec Baldwin.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that s a really interesting take.
7
SPEAKER_02
We have a little bit to finish off today, our little impression cavalcade.
7
SPEAKER_02
Hey, Alec Baldwin, how you doing?
7
SPEAKER_04
Doing well.
7
SPEAKER_04
Thinking of finishing Rust, but I haven t pulled the trigger yet.
7
SPEAKER_04
My wife, Hilaria.
7
SPEAKER_04
She was born in Espana, in a little town known as Boston, Massachusetts.
7
SPEAKER_02
Well, what does Elon Musk think of this?
7
SPEAKER_06
It s pretty cool, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_06
You know, Ross is probably going to be pretty cool with it.
7
SPEAKER_05
Impressionist jukebox.
7
SPEAKER_05
Doesn t Alec Baldwin s wife have another little baby named Ilaria?
7
SPEAKER_04
They re all called Ilaria.
7
SPEAKER_05
They all are.
7
SPEAKER_05
I have 19 children.
7
SPEAKER_05
But it s not an H, it s an I, it s Ilaria.
7
SPEAKER_05
It s Ilaria, and there s an Ilaria, and there s Hilaria.
7
SPEAKER_03
He did a Instagram where he went off on, I love my children.
7
SPEAKER_04
Sure, I d like to be playing poker with a guy sometimes, or going to a film, or seeing an opera, or playing golf.
7
SPEAKER_03
And he listed for 20 minutes, 100 things he d rather do.
7
SPEAKER_02
What s your Trump?
7
SPEAKER_02
What do you do with Trump?
7
SPEAKER_03
So terrific.
7
SPEAKER_03
My Trump, it s the best Trump.
7
SPEAKER_03
It s gotta be the most fantastical Trump.
7
SPEAKER_03
It s really not, but it s like silly.
7
SPEAKER_03
It s like exaggerated.
7
SPEAKER_03
I did him before he was president stuff.
7
SPEAKER_03
But it never got better.
7
SPEAKER_03
There s people who do it.
7
SPEAKER_03
That guy on SNL does it really, really well.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, his is, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_03
I do Trans Trump.
7
SPEAKER_02
Trans Trump?
7
SPEAKER_03
Trans Trump.
7
SPEAKER_02
What is that like?
7
SPEAKER_02
Don t ask.
7
SPEAKER_03
It s the same.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, don t ask.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh, okay, Trans Trump.
7
SPEAKER_03
It s just he s trying to get elected for the next 2024.
7
SPEAKER_03
Look, we ll just end there.
7
SPEAKER_03
Listen, thank you so much, Carlin.com.
7
SPEAKER_02
I was gonna do Trump applying ChapStick.
7
SPEAKER_01
We re gonna put it on, we re gonna put a lot of on, let me tell you.
7
SPEAKER_01
The lips are gonna get soft, you re gonna love them like you wouldn t believe.
7
SPEAKER_01
Cherry.
7
SPEAKER_03
Cherry on top.
7
SPEAKER_03
All different flavors.
7
SPEAKER_03
I like the ham.
7
SPEAKER_03
Ray Liotta, the late, great, brilliant Ray Liotta.
7
SPEAKER_03
How do you do Ray Liotta?
7
SPEAKER_03
Chantix.
7
SPEAKER_03
You know, it was that Chantix commercial, I did a thing where he s like, what?
7
SPEAKER_03
How about the smoke?
7
SPEAKER_00
Try fucking Chantix.
7
SPEAKER_00
Why would you wanna quit smoking?
7
SPEAKER_00
Why would you do that?
7
SPEAKER_00
Why would you wanna quit smoking?
7
SPEAKER_00
See, it works.
7
SPEAKER_02
How would Sylvester Stallone sum up?
7
SPEAKER_02
I hate when people do this to me.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh my god.
7
SPEAKER_02
Sum up the podcast, Stallone.
7
SPEAKER_06
First, I like the beginning when everybody said Kyle was funny.
7
SPEAKER_06
Then the beginning got a little weird when Kyle was talking.
7
SPEAKER_06
Then the end was nice when people said Kyle was funny.
7
SPEAKER_05
That s a good summary.
7
SPEAKER_05
Alright, everyone grab a protein bar on the way.
7
SPEAKER_05
Thank you, Kyle.
8
SPEAKER_00
Thank you guys, we appreciate it.
8
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
8
SPEAKER_00
Bye, guys.
8
SPEAKER_00
Hey, what s up, flies?
8
SPEAKER_00
What s up, fleas?
8
SPEAKER_00
What s up, people that listen?
8
SPEAKER_00
We want to hear from you and your dumb questions.
8
SPEAKER_00
Questions, ask us anything.
8
SPEAKER_00
Anything you want.
8
SPEAKER_00
You can email us at flyonthewallatcadence13.com.
8
SPEAKER_00
Who s the next question from, Dana?
8
SPEAKER_01
Let s see here.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s Samantha Washburn.
8
SPEAKER_01
Samantha Washburn.
8
SPEAKER_00
Like she goes, here s my dumb question.
8
SPEAKER_00
Funny already.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, she s playing along with how we do it.
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Do you try to hang out, talk with certain friends before performing or appearing on something to get you in a funny mood?
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Or do you just spring out of bed every morning and start cracking yourself up with your own jokes?
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Are there, this just keeps going.
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Are there people in your life that bring out your funniest version of you?
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Who?
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Rackham.
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I love it.
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That s a reference for people don t know.
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It was almost gonna be the title of this podcast.
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It was David s idea.
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And it s based on when in pool, when you re a great pool shark, you say, Rackham.
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Yeah, you hit the last one in and you go, Rackham.
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And then you get all the, you know.
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Like you just nailed it.
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All the biller balls going.
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So if you nail a joke, you go, Rackham.
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So that s funny.
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She didn t use it in the perfect sense, but I liked that she used it.
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Because- She started with, here s my dumb question, and it was Rackham.
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In between, not so good.
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No, it was very good, Samantha.
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She gets it all.
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Sam, Sam, Sam Washburn.
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So Dana, this is a good question.
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Now I will say, I do try to surround myself with funny people, even
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I don t say even females, but if I date someone, I like when they re light on their feet or just laughers or fun, nothing too serious or heavy because there s enough of that in the world.
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So Dana makes me laugh.
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We re having dinner tonight and it makes me laugh.
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Yeah, we are.
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You re going to come late.
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Is that me?
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You re so funny because you re the only one that goes to dinner earlier than me, which is shocking.
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I know, you like to get a big steak and fries and then lay down to go to sleep at night.
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I like to be kind of empty.
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I can t eat and go to sleep.
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I have farmer s hours.
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I poo in my car on the way home.
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I pooed in my car.
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I thought that was a private thing you wanted to tell me and now it s beamed out of me.
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I like when I get a little gross and Dana goes, oh boy.
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Okay, so let s get back to this.
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Dana s wife is very funny and she s exactly that.
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She s light at her feet.
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She has an incredible sense of humor.
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She s a human laugh machine, but it s real.
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So it s- Yeah, puts me in a good mood.
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When I go to Dana s and she s there, she laughs, she s funny, she adds funny things, and she just gets all the whole thing.
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And she just like talking to the comedians.
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And I do like being around people like that.
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I don t wake up cracking up, but sometimes I do laugh.
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By yourself?
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Yeah.
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Yeah?
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Isn t it embarrassing?
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That s healthy.
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But there s two things here.
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There s one is before performing.
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I don t think, the only thing that gets me turned on is when I go out to an audience and I get a big laugh and then I m immediately into the mode of being funny.
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In life though, hanging out with you or Lovitz or Dennis Miller or any of our rowdy friends, a funny person starts making you laugh and then you kind of bounce back.
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So that s- Some people just drop your energy.
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They don t have to be hilarious, but some people are just almost the opposite.
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Like for some reason you walk away feeling woozy, or you just feel like in a bad mood, or you re kind of down, and that s just chemistry thing.
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So yeah.
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Anyway, long story short, rack them.
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This has been a podcast presentation of Cadence 13.
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Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes.
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Available now for free wherever you get your podcasts.
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No joke, folks.
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Fly on the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13, executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corcoran of Cadence 13, and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment.
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The show s lead producer is Greg Holtzman with production and engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Basil of Cadence 13.