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Calling all conscious achievers who are seeking more community and connection, I ve got an invitation for you.
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Join me at this year s Summit of Greatness this September 7th through 9th in my hometown of Columbus, Ohio to unleash your true greatness.
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This is the one time a year
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that I gather the greatness community together in person for a powerful, transformative weekend.
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People come from all over the world, and you can expect to hear from inspiring speakers like Inky Johnson, Jaspreet Singh, Vanessa Van Edwards, Jen Cinchero, and many more.
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You ll also be able to dance your heart out to live music, get your body moving with group workouts, and connect with others at our evening socials.
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So if you re ready to learn, heal, and grow alongside other incredible individuals in the greatness community, then you can learn more at lewishouse.com slash summit 2023.
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Make sure to grab your ticket, invite your friends, and I ll see you there.
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See, you are forgiving somebody so that you could be free.
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Otherwise they occupy your upper chamber and trouble you day and night, right?
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It s not for the other person you are giving forgiveness.
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It s for your own sake.
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You don t want to punish yourself.
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You don t want to carry the garbage.
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You don t want to carry stress.
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You want to be free.
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Welcome to the School of Greatness.
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My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur.
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And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness.
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Thanks for spending some time with me today.
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Now let the class begin.
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You ve been continually for decades serving humanity to create more peace, harmony, alignment, congruency, joy, abundance, and fulfillment in life.
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And so I want to acknowledge you for your continual service and how you show up for the world.
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It s a beautiful thing.
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And I wanted to ask you first about how can we forgive the people that have hurt us the most, whether intentionally they tried to hurt us,
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whether they are emotionally abusive, verbally, physically abusive, or unintentionally, we interpreted they did something that hurt us.
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How do we learn to let go of that hurt and pain?
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I want to ask a counter question.
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Why do you want to forgive?
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Why do you want to forgive?
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Well, what happens if we don t forgive?
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It s very painful, right?
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We hold on to stress.
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That s it.
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Yeah.
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That s it.
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See, you are forgiving somebody so that you could be free.
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Always they occupy your upper chamber and trouble you day and night, right?
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It s not for the other person you are giving forgiveness.
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It s for your own sake.
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You don t want to punish yourself.
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You don t want to carry the garbage.
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You don t want to carry stress.
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You want to be free.
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Right.
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And you just, I might forget and forgive and move on.
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But why is it so hard for people?
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Some people hold on to that anger and resentment for years.
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And it s so hard for them to let go of the pain.
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I tell them, see, if you find it hard to let go, don t struggle.
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Do the easy way.
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Is it easy to hold on the grudge?
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It s painful.
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It s painful.
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What appears to be easy is not easy.
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And what appears to be difficult is not difficult.
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We must wake up and see this.
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This is a fact.
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You know, you are holding grudge against somebody and you are creating toxins in your own body and you are spoiling your health.
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You are spoiling your mood.
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If you go with sleepless nights,
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So do the easiest one.
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Right, exactly.
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Speaking on relationships, I feel like life is about relationships, the relationship we have to ourselves, the relationship to others, the universe, all these different things.
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It seems to me like a lot of people are struggling in intimate relationships these days, finding a healthy partner and relationship.
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Why do you think it s so hard for people to attract a healthy partner and really
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keep a happy, healthy relationship.
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Coming back to the previous point, you said about forgiveness.
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You know, usually we think when we forgive somebody, we think we are doing a favor to someone.
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It s not so.
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That s secondary.
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That s only a side effect.
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Favor to others is a side effect.
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But it s favoring yourself.
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Every time you are angry, you re punishing yourself for someone else s mistake.
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Right.
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So you get double the pain.
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They hurt you and you keep hurting yourself.
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Yeah.
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Wow.
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Coming to this, why we attract people, how do we manage that, you know, it all depends on our vibrations.
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Our vibrations.
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Our vibrations.
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If our vibrations are positive, then we attract such people.
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If our vibrations are negative or doubtful or greedy sometimes.
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So,
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we get into relationship with people who have similar vibes.
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Have you heard about this, I mean, we have all heard about this saying, birds of the same feather flock together.
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Uh-huh, yeah, of course, yeah.
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So, we need to improve our own vibrations.
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We seldom pay attention to that.
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What should our vibrations be, and how can we get them to a healthy conscious place?
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First of all, broadened awareness, a bigger context to life.
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Ability to let go of the past and be in the present moment.
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Second is doing breathing techniques and meditation.
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Making music a part of your life.
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Singing, dancing, playing.
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having fun, all this can create a very positive vibes around you.
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And many times it feels like easier said than done.
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It feels not so easy and it s difficult.
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But you know, you have to move through that.
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You have the power to make it possible for yourself, if you wish.
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Yeah.
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But when someone s feeling stuck or anxious or depressed, like their life isn t moving forward or things keep happening that don t support them in their growth, how can people get... Sky breathing technique.
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What s it called?
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What s it called?
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The sky.
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Sky breathing?
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Yeah, sky breathing technique.
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The Sudarshan Kriya and the breathing exercise, pranayama meditation.
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This does it.
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Really?
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Yeah.
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How long does this breathing technique take?
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It just takes a couple of days, two, three days to learn and then you can do it on your own.
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Five, ten minutes, ten minutes every day.
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Can you share a brief example of what that looks like?
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No, you need to learn it.
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I don t believe in piece meals usually.
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So it s a thing that there are a number of instructors in this country and it s being offered in many college campuses.
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About 107 universities in this country have taken, while veterans are taking it and they re benefiting from it.
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So you can just Google and go into the.
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Right, sky breathing technique.
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Correct.
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It was called Kajal.
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Why do you think so many people are desperate to be in a relationship, an intimate, loving relationship?
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Why do you feel like that s happening in the world right now, that people are struggling to find love, keep love, and they want it so badly?
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No, it s a human nature to relate to people.
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Human nature is to be together, express their feelings, share their feelings.
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There s nothing wrong in it.
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But in this process, we need to see how enduring is our relationship.
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Enduring.
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And how we are able to accept the other person.
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Yes.
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Sometimes we want everything in our way only.
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That doesn t work.
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In relationship, there is always a compromise.
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You have to give and take.
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Today, with so much stress in our lives,
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You know, our communication system has broken down.
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It keeps breaking down.
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And then our perceptual ability is also taking a beating.
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Our perception abilities?
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We are not able to perceive the right thing properly.
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We don t go beyond our own mental and emotional bubble to see what others are in need and what do they see and what do they want.
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That sense of caring and sharing is essential in any relationship.
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And all this can come only when we have patience.
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A lot of people struggle with having patience and they struggle with accepting another person in a relationship.
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They want the other to change.
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Yes.
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Why do so many people want their partner to change and why can t they accept them?
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This is my question.
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This is a question we need to ask because one is not aware.
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One is not aware about oneself.
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We are not conscious about what we think, what we do, how we behave, and what impact it has on the others.
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We don t pay attention to that at all.
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We only see the other, what they are doing, how it is affecting us.
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So, you know, the human mind swings between a victim consciousness and a culprit consciousness.
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Both are not healthy in any relationship.
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They both will destroy intimate relationships.
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If you feel you are a victim, that s it.
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You cannot have a normal relationship.
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And if you feel guilty that you have done something wrong and you are a culprit, then also it cannot.
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So you need to find that fine balance and move yourself away from the action and all those things, even for a few seconds, few minutes every day and be a witness and create that inner awareness from within you.
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Then you know your intuitive ability works, your vibrations become so harmonious, and you become a more loving and lovely person.
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Right.
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What would you say then are the keys to creating a conscious, healthy relationship?
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It s to be free from stress.
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If you are stressed, you are far away from creating a healthy relationship.
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Really?
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But what about the people watching or listening saying, okay, that sounds great, but I ve got all these responsibilities and kids and bills and debt.
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How do I not be stressful with so much going on?
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Well, being stressful, are you able to manage those things?
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Not well.
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Not well.
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Yeah.
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So how does someone overcome stress?
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You should have that confidence.
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You look back, look back in your own life.
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This is not the first time you re getting stressed.
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You got stressed so many times, from years, and you have overcome all those situations.
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That should give you enough self-confidence that you can, well, I can get over this.
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There s nothing.
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You see?
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Looking back at your own experience, you can learn, number one.
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Second is see that any stressful condition that you are in at the current moment, it s not going to stay there like that forever.
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You ll be able to manage it.
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It s going to change.
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It ll all change.
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That confidence that things will change for better.
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will help you.
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Third thing is, no, there is a higher power, which is so caring and loving.
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Your own higher self, or you say, God, or whatever.
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Know that that higher power has the power to change things, and you offer it to the higher power.
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What if someone doesn t believe in a higher power?
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Never mind, never mind.
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You believe in your own power.
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Right, yeah.
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You re capable of overcoming this.
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You re capable.
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Yeah, you re capable.
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Why do you think so many relationships end, intimate relationships?
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Being bitter and sore and all that, right?
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Well, this is not a subject which I am too familiar with, but still, by my observation, what I can say is, in relationship, it s like two lines focusing on each other.
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and sometime they will have to go part their ways.
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If you police your partner too much, this is what is going to happen.
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If you police them too much.
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But if both the partner have a single goal of doing something big or something good,
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then it s like two parallel lines that can go on forever.
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But if you are focused just on each other, where are you going, what are you doing, what did you, you know, all that stuff.
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What did you say, what I didn t say, and stuff like that, sooner or later it s going to become messy.
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And the second thing is if the relationship is coming from the space of giving, contributing in the relation, not taking, then also it will be long lasting.
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That has to come from both sides.
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It s not that one person is giving, the other is only taking all the time.
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It won t work.
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Because the giver will get frustrated, the taker will feel there is no charm in the relation.
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They ll move away.
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It s the taker who feels there is no charm.
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They move away.
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So here again, that should come from both sides.
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We contribute to each other.
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And we have a bigger goal in life, a common goal to move on.
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What is an example of a goal that a conscious relationship could have?
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Yeah, it could be many things.
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Both can work towards environmental causes, or can work for making the society better, or art, or culture.
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You know, there could be many things.
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One common... So it could be more than just a relationship.
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Yeah, more than just you and me, you and me all the time, you know, that sort of.
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Yeah.
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Why else do you think people struggle in intimacy and relationships, from your observation?
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Is it a lack of communication?
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Is it a lack of choosing the right partner because you don t accept them?
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You see, many times people say there s a right partner they choose and after a while they don t find them anymore right.
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Right.
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They were right, now they re wrong.
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Yeah, they were right.
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And then they say, we never got along after 20 years of being together.
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So, this is all the mind game that we go through, you see.
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Again here, you should know that any relationship, it could be a Mr. Toad s wild ride.
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You see, there could be a bumpy ride.
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But, you have to move past that.
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There are speed breakers in small roads, you see.
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You re on highway, there s no speed breakers.
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But in small roads, there will be speed breakers.
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Stop signs.
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And you have to stop.
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Potholes, yeah.
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What it sounds like to me is we ve got to learn to, you know, the journey within also
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is in unison with mastering our minds, is learning how to manage the minds at different seasons of life.
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Exactly.
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Relationships, career, money, object.
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It s all in there.
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It s all in there.
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See, you can t move within unless you see that there is harmony all around you.
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And how to create harmony around you?
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by your attitude, by your understanding and by your communication skills and improving your vibrations.
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And this is all what you talk about in this, how to manage anger.
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It s normal to be angry.
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It s normal to feel greedy.
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It s normal to feel jealous.
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It s normal.
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All these negative emotions are normal.
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But if you don t know how to handle them, manage them, or get over them, then you re stuck.
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Right.
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Then you make a mess out of your own life.
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This is all what in this, you know, few days, I mean, few pages of journey within we have
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You know, it started in 1995 when I sat with a group of people and they had all these sort of issues.
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And then time to time, every Wednesday we would sit and we would come together with some points of wisdom from life.
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It s not taken from any books or here and there.
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It s life experience.
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And then we call it
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The knowledge, faxes, those days there was no email, there was no social media, you know?
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And not even cell phones.
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So we used to fax this around the world to people around the world.
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You have one in here on page 109 that says, fools will make you wiser.
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Why will fools or people that upset you or frustrate you make you wiser?
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It s interesting you go through that, read it.
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I mean, many of these topics are just out of the box thinking.
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They re not just the normal, you know, conceptual thing, but something which triggers your imagination, triggers your thinking into a very unconventional manner.
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Yes.
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You said here, respect everybody as you respect your spiritual teacher, but don t expect from everyone what you expect from your spiritual teacher.
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Yeah.
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Right.
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That s great.
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I m curious about money and happiness.
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We re here in Los Angeles, and a lot of people, not everyone, but a lot of people come to LA because they want to make money, they want to become famous.
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and they think that will also make them happy.
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Can you speak into what is happiness?
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How can we generate happiness?
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And does money and fame support you in being happier?
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Well, there s nothing wrong in wanting to be rich, wanting to be famous.
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That s normal for people who want to progress in their life.
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They want to achieve something.
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It s quite normal.
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There s nothing wrong.
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But if you see when you get there only, then you ll be happy.
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Then you re wrong.
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Look at all those people who are rich, who are famous.
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Are they happy in their lives?
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you will get the answer.
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So, you can be happy now and then work towards whatever you want to achieve in life, you see.
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Don t postpone being happy, that s what I tell.
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Otherwise, it will be a continual postponement.
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You may start postponing to the next lifetime.
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So,
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I swear, you know, you can do whatever you want.
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You can work towards it.
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But when you re happy now, here, it will give you more energy and ideas to go where you want to go.
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Yes.
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If you re simply being feverish to make more money, even if you make money doing all sorts of things, you don t know where you will end up later on.
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Correct?
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Right.
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So, your goals must support your end.
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Your goals must support your end.
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Your goals, yeah.
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Your means for the goals should support your end, right?
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And the means should not be an end in itself.
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Right.
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Speaking of wealthy people and are they happy, there s definitely wealthy people who are happy, but there s some wealthy people who are not happy, that are miserable and have a lot of stress.
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You ve been to some of the poorest places in the world to be in service, and you ve seen children who have nothing, very happy.
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Very happy.
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Very happy.
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I ve seen the same thing.
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And it s amazing.
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They have maybe one meal a day if they re lucky, but they have...
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friends, family, they have community, and they re running around playing soccer with, you know, rocks on the field and a broken ball, and that s all they have, but they re happy.
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Why are some poor people extremely happy, and some rich people extremely poor in happiness?
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This is something that everyone has to think about.
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That gives them idea happiness is not just connected to your richness or poorness or where you live.
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I wouldn t say all the poor people are happy.
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There are poor people who are unhappy too.
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And I don t even say that all rich people are unhappy.
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That will also be wrong.
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There are some very rich people who are happy and they are happy doing service.
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There are two types of happiness.
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One is the happiness that you feel when you get things.
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You get a birthday gift or you get a Christmas gift and you are so happy.
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The joy in getting something is normal.
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It s there from the childhood, right?
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But there is a different type of happiness.
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The happiness that you get when you give.
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This is the joy of a grandmother, I would say.
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You know a grandmother would make many dishes when the kids come home and she ll give cake.
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She ll bake the cake and make the cookies and she ll make pasta.
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I mean her joy is in feeding.
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Her joy is in giving.
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So in life, some place we have to get to this joy of contributing.
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So if you re contributing to society, the immense gratification it comes to you, gives you.
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When you wipe the tears of even one person around the corner, you know, that gives such a cool breeze to your heart.
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and to your mind, such joy to your mind.
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This is the joy that we should not miss in life.
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We cannot die only grabbing things.
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Till the last minute, we must learn how to contribute and feel happy about it.
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What about certain people that maybe don t feel like they re receiving anything in life?
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They re not receiving any gifts or support, they re struggling, and they don t feel like they have anything to give.
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They really feel like, I m in lack, I don t have anything to give as well.
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How can they turn that situation into joy and happiness?
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My dear, you can at least give a smile.
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Right, I agree.
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You can say a few nice words to people of comfort.
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Can t you smile?
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Now what is big in just smiling when everything is okay, when things are falling apart, if you can stand up and smile, you know, I can manage, I know things will pass.
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That smile, that positive vibration from you amidst all the troubled water, itself is a hope.
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Your positive mindset itself creates such a positive vibration around you and helps other people.
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So you don t have to be giving something if you don t have.
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You can only give what you have.
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Nobody expects you to give what you don t have.
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But whatever you have, you can definitely share with others.
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Absolutely, yeah.
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This is what we see in some of the poor communities.
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They may have very little, but they share with others.
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Right.
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and they feel a lot of love and joy and community and connection and fulfillment.
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How does someone develop an abundant mindset?
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Something where they believe that abundance of love and joy and opportunities can come to them versus staying stuck in a limit of what they re capable of creating or achieving.
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One should, first of all,
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become aware of the reality in the world.
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Get out of our little well that we are into and see the ocean of humanity where it is and compare with that and you ll see you ll be grateful you are at least much better off than so many people who don t even have the basic things that you have.
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That itself will give you a breathing space.
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See?
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Feel better about yourself.
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Number one.
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Second, again here I would say meditation will help one to get out of grief and sense of lack.
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You know?
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It s just a state of mind.
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You can continue to feel lack even if you are a billionaire.
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That s true.
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It can continue with you forever in your life.
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So here, meditation can bring that inner sense of abundance.
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And when you have that inner sense of abundance, I tell you, abundance will start flowing to you from outside as well.
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What should that feeling be inside of us?
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in order to feel abundant?
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What does that feeling look like, experience?
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It should be this way.
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Your feelings are feelings.
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that you want, you pick up.
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You go to the ocean and give me three things that you have.
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The ocean would only say, come on, you pick up what you want.
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Salt from me, fish from me, oil from me, gas from me, pearls from me, you pick up.
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Wisdom is an ocean.
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And so you pick up what you want.
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And that s what journey with it.
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I like it.
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Final question, what is your definition of greatness?
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Why do we have to define greatness?
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You don t need to define.
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Anything that is very big, very significant in your life goes beyond definition.
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You can t define love.
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You can t define compassion.
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How can you encapsulate something which is so sacred, so intimate to you, like compassion or love, in few sentences?
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Same with greatness.
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It s something that uplifts you, elevates your whole spirit.
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When you feel more than what you are yourself,
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and then you want to define it what gratefulness is, then we are not doing justice to those qualities or those words even.
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I hope today s episode inspired you on your journey towards greatness.
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Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a rundown of today s show with all the important links.
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And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me as well as ad free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our greatness plus channel on apple podcast.
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Leave us a review over on Apple podcast and let me know what you learned over on our social media channels at Lewis Howes.
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I really love hearing the feedback from you and it helps us continue to make the show better.
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And if you want more inspiration from our world-class guests and content to learn how to improve the quality of your life, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness Newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.
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And if no one has told you today, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter.
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And now it s time to go out there and do something great.