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Hey everyone, this is Molly and Matt and we re the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.
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It s a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting.
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Like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone and so much more.
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Let s learn about all of it and then some.
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Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on America s number one podcast network, iHeart.
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Open your free iHeart app and search Grown Up Stuff.
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This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.
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The joy they brought to the nation.
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You re free completely.
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No one is there to destroy you.
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The danger they endured.
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They said my head should be cut off.
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I m John Legend.
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Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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A new season of Bridgerton is here.
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And with it, a new season of Bridgerton, the official podcast.
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I m your host, Gabby Collins.
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And this season, we are bringing fans even deeper into the ton.
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Watch season three of the Shondaland series on Netflix.
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Then fall in love all over again by listening to Bridgerton, the official podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Subscribe to catch a new episode every Thursday.
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I think a lot of the time in relationships, you make someone feel broken because you keep fixing them.
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Whereas if you teach people how to heal themselves, then you ve actually helped them.
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So I always tell people that loving someone means you make them fall more in love with themselves, not more in love with you.
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Hey, everyone.
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Welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world.
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Thanks to each and every one of you that come back every week to become happier, healthier, and more healed.
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And I m so excited to be talking to you today.
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I can t believe it.
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My new book, Eight Rules of Love, is out, and I cannot wait to share it with you.
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I am so, so excited for you to read this book, for you to listen to this book.
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I read the audiobook.
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If you haven t got it already,
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Make sure you go to 8rulesoflove.com.
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It s dedicated to anyone who s trying to find, keep, or let go of love.
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So if you ve got friends that are dating, broken up, or struggling with love, make sure you grab this book.
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And I d love to invite you to come and see me for my global tour, Love Rules.
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Go to jscheddytour.com to learn more information about tickets, VIP experiences, and more.
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I can t wait to see you this year.
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Now today s guest is someone who s so hard to book, like literally, like the most difficult.
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We book these incredible guests every single week.
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And this person just like, I just, it s so hard to find a spot in their schedule.
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Like no matter how much you try, like we ve been working with their team for the last two years.
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This guest hasn t come on the show for the last two years.
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We re talking about the one and only, my heart, my wife, Radhi Devlokia.
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Two years it took to get you back on the show.
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I didn t even realise it s been two years.
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But also, what do we have to talk about every year?
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A yearly podcast.
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But also, I m busy.
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It s an annual check-in.
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I know it is.
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I m so sorry.
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Us sharing our challenges, our wins, our successes.
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I can t believe it s been two years though.
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It s been two years since you ve been on the podcast.
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It doesn t feel like it.
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Yeah, it doesn t feel like that.
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But thank you for having me back on.
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Yeah, I know.
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Sometimes it s just hard to like... Number one health podcast in the world.
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Sometimes it s hard to get you to walk from the house to the studio.
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I know, I know.
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It s like ten steps.
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Also, eight rules of love.
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Where s the jingle?
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I know, I need to come up with one.
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I did have one for Think Like a Monk, didn t I?
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I know.
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Do you remember the Think Like a Monk one?
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Think like a monk.
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Yeah, yeah, no, I do.
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Thank you.
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I know, I m going to come up with one for that.
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Okay.
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Yeah.
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When?
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It s going to be more of a rap, I feel like, because it s got a number in it.
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But the book s already out.
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I know, I know, I know.
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What if someone makes a jingle before you?
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I need to read the book and then I ll get inspiration from it.
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Oh yeah, Radhi doesn t read my book.
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I m going to, I actually finished Think Like a, well nearly finished with Think Like a Monk.
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I ve taken a break from it.
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It was just so good.
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I need time to digest.
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Eight Rules of Love.
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I m going to start on the plane journey today.
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And I started listening to the podcast a month ago.
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It s a brilliant podcast.
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Everyone who s listening, you should listen to all the other 300 episodes.
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How many have you done?
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Four years.
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150 episodes, no, four years, 100 episodes a year, so 400.
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Oh my gosh, I ve got so much to catch up on, but it s really good, honestly.
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Thanks, I appreciate it.
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So we re actually recording this in a place that s quite meaningful to Ravi and I. When we first started dating, this was a place that we d come for walks, for tea, for hanging out together.
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It s the Grove Hotel.
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It s a beautiful, beautiful place.
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We re so grateful that today we re getting to record this podcast here.
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I can t wait to go outside and take a walk here and enjoy the grounds.
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It s a really special place to us.
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So excited to be here at the Grove.
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Yeah, I love this place.
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I love it, but this is going to be fun because as always what we do when Radhi s on the show is we answer questions that my team comes up with.
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So my team will randomly find ideas and thoughts and topics for us to talk about.
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We have no idea, we ve never seen them.
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And so you truly get a genuine, raw, authentic conversation.
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Yeah, I have no idea what we re going to talk about.
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for me and Riley.
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We have no idea.
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I will be bringing up some stuff Riley s been working on in the background, which I m excited about.
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But yeah.
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All right.
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So the first question our team wants us to answer is what was the first... So what our team wants us to start with is what did we love each other...
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The question that our team wants us to answer first is, what did we love most about each other first?
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What do we love most about each other now?
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What s changed?
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What s different?
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And why?
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Well said.
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Well done.
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You re good at this.
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I should basically be the host of this show.
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You should basically have a podcast.
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I should have a podcast.
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OK, so I feel like it s pretty much still the same stuff that was from the beginning.
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You re very consistently the same person in a really good way, like you re a solid human.
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You really are like the same.
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Why are you laughing?
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It s the same stuff, really.
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It s the same stuff, but in the best way, because you have been consistently the same person.
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You said the things that you would be at the beginning of the relationship, you are still that person.
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All the good stuff.
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And what would they be?
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Let me tell you.
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They are...
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You know what s funny about this?
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I m not a PDA person and I feel like this is where the podcast gets it all because it s like questions about it.
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You were extremely honest about who you were at the beginning, which I think was really important.
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Like you always told me what you are happy to do, not happy to do, your priorities, your values.
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The main thing is your integrity between
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what you say and what you do and who you are on camera and who you are off camera it s literally the same person like what you talk about is the same person as who you are behind closed doors and I think that that s such a beautiful quality because I think like living with integrity allows you to give
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yourself so authentically, which means that you re able to just give love constantly because you re constantly fueled by yourself, but also you re just forever living in alignment, which is like people feel that energy from you.
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And I feel like I feel that every single day, which is really cool.
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Thanks for that.
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I actually think that what I loved about you when we first met
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was that you ve always been absolutely adorable.
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You re absolutely hilarious.
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You re still one of the funniest.
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I want something more.
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No, I m saying what when we first met.
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Yeah, you re hilarious.
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Like, I think you re one of the funniest people I know.
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You make me laugh all the time.
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Thanks.
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And I think I love that I could always be myself around you.
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I never felt judged and I never felt I had to be a certain person.
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I never felt like I had to perform or act in a certain way.
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And I think you really give people permission.
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I don t think you just do that with me.
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I think you do that with everyone.
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You give everyone permission to be who they are and they don t feel pressurized to impress you or change who they are, mold themselves to
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be more important to you.
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You like to make everyone feel important for who they are.
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And I also fell in love with just how positive you are in a sense of not positive in the way people think about it, like, oh, you re just happy about everything, but positive in the sense that you never liked gossiping about people, or you never liked criticizing people, or you never liked comparing yourself to other people.
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Like you were very happy to let people live their own lives and not
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get involved in anything negative to do with them, but be happy within yourself.
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And I thought that was beautiful.
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Thanks.
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And I think what s changed, and obviously I still love you for all the same things, but I think what s really amazing is I think you ve been on a huge journey to get to know yourself.
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Yeah, for sure.
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Over the last few years.
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So we ve been together now for nearly 10 years.
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Yeah.
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And we ve been married for seven, nearly.
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And I feel like in the last seven years, you ve truly found yourself and you ve discovered who you are and what matters to you.
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what your values are.
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And yeah, trying, but a lot has been revealed.
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And I think I love you for going on that journey so confidently when you were scared to move to New York when we first got married.
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So from going from the person who was scared to move to a new city and a new country, which is fair enough to be scared for, to now be someone who s used that as a way of learning about yourself and becoming more confident in who you are.
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I love you for that, because I think that that takes a lot of courage.
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And I think that it would have been easy to be negative about that, but you didn t do that.
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Thanks.
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Amazing.
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This is fun.
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Wonderful.
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Brilliant.
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So the next topic that we re going to discuss is Radhi and I have been on a crazy adventure in the last seven years.
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We ve moved country.
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We ve moved state.
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We ve moved apartments.
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We ve moved homes.
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And the question is, how has our relationship changed?
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How has it been impacted by all of this?
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And what have we learned along the way?
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I think it s really interesting going back to that first question we answered because I feel like I ve stayed so much the same.
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I look at how it s affected me as being very similar in the sense that I ve just kept my head down, I ve kept working, I ve kept building, kept growing, kept trying to do my best, but I think that it just made me realize how
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not codependent and how tolerant you are.
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It s really interesting to me.
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And this is to your credit.
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Again, I think I m a good partner, but more to your credit that in the last seven years, you ve never once said to me, you don t spend enough time with me, you re never around, or you don t listen to me.
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And that is amazing.
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I think that requires so much maturity from you to be so happy in yourself and finding your own self.
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Because I think
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Even though I never want you to feel those things, I feel like I m sensitive to those things as well.
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I still feel like if I told you, hey, I ve got to jump on a flight tomorrow, I m going to be gone for two weeks, that would just be normal to you.
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You wouldn t ever make me feel bad or guilty about that.
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And so I think that it s made me appreciate you more because we ve actually been through so many of the biggest changes.
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There s a study that showed like the changes that stress people out the most and even put stress on relationships.
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And it s moving countries up there, moving job is up there, moving home is up there.
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And then I think it s having kids.
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So we ve literally done three out of the four constantly over the last seven years.
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and the fact that we ve constantly found a way to find our way back to each other and connect with each other and had the openness to not just point the finger and blame or I ve just never felt like it s been my fault if life s been harder or easier.
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And so there were times when when we were close to being four months away from being broke, and you didn t change how you felt.
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And now that things are better, you haven t changed towards me.
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And so I just feel like that kind of support is really special, where you just feel like someone s consistently in your corner.
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And that s how I feel with you.
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Thanks.
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I do feel those things.
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I think, again, it goes back to the consistency.
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Because you re the same person, it s not been something that you didn t... It was always on the table.
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Change was always on the table.
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I think now my perspective has changed in the sense of, before, I felt like I really knew where I would be living, what I would be doing.
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Before we got married, I had an idea of what that would be.
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Now, I feel like I live more day-to-day, year-to-year, not even expecting what the next year is going to bring.
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not allowing myself to build expectations of what the next year is going to bring because I know that change is just always happening.
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And I think I used to be someone who was quite scared of change generally.
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And this has really helped me not be like that because we ve had so many changes that I feel like it s a better way of living where there s no expectation of what s coming next.
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You just kind of live in the flow of what s happening.
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So yeah, I think in that respect, I think the change part for me was scary at the beginning, but became something that I was quite excited to embrace because it felt like, it kind of felt more like freedom rather than like, even though when you re not in control, you feel like that wouldn t be freedom, actually not expecting to be in control and not knowing what s going to happen feels more free than having that control or thinking you have that control.
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But then also I have those times where I m like, oh, this is great.
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And then the next minute, I m like, I just want to go away to a forest and just hide away.
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I feel like I go in such two different directions.
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And I feel like you deal with that really well, because I am someone who can go from being so excited about something to then being like, oh, I just want to delete my Instagram and go live in a forest for six weeks and not talk to anyone.
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And you re like, OK.
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Okay, if that s what you need.
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I love for you to do that.
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Yeah, I know, I know.
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I just, I have quite like an erraticness about me.
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So I feel like you handled that pretty well.
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No, I think you ve handled the change remarkably well.
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I don t know anyone else who d be able to handle how much change we ve been through.
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Yeah, we ve been through a lot.
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In the way you have.
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So in my book, Eight Rules of Love, I talk about how we play different roles in relationships.
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And if you have the book, there s a relationship roles quiz so you can find out which role you ve been playing in previous relationships or in this one.
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So the team have asked us to answer the question, if we re usually a parent, a partner or a child in a relationship, where do we find those dynamics in the way we connect with each other?
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So where do you feel?
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Let s start with where do we feel we re the parents?
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Um, with the parents.
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I think you ve been my parent when it comes to me eating healthy.
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Yeah, I get the look.
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Imagine I had like lots of sugar right now in front of me.
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Like how would you look at me?
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So you re the parent when it comes to my food, because I m the kid when it comes to food.
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I m the kid who wants to eat Sour Patch Kids.
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I m the kid who wants to eat candy.
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I m the kid who wants to eat chocolate.
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That s all I want to do because of my mum, who s sitting here as well.
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My mum fed me four chocolate products a day.
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That s great.
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I love that.
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Chocolate biscuit, chocolate yogurt, chocolate bar, chocolate ice cream.
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So I became addicted.
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And then this parent has been unlearning me from eating sugar.
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So yeah, that s where you re definitely from.
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I also love some sugar in my life.
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Yeah, but you re a bit more, you ve had to wean me off of it.
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So yeah, you ve been a parent when it comes to that.
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You ve definitely been a parent in, you know, they call it like midlife crisis.
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I have like a weekly or monthly crisis.
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You re definitely the parent and I m like, I don t know what I m doing.
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I don t know whether I want to do what I m doing right now.
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I don t know whether what I m doing is the right thing.
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I don t know whether I love it.
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I don t know whether I like it.
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I don t know who I am.
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That s pretty much what happens.
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every month, and you re definitely the parent in that situation.
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But parent slash partner, you re not telling me what to do, you re kind of guiding me through it.
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So I say you re also, I feel like you re not very parent-y in many ways.
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You re not parenting the health stuff either, like I ve always said, I ve never been judged and criticized.
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It s not like you re telling me off.
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But like guidance.
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Parent is just the person who s making you, looking after you when you re being childlike.
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I definitely am that in that situation, yeah.
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That and running late for things, and getting to places on time, and making sure I actually follow through with things, plan out my life.
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I feel like I m a child sometimes when I m like, just being, literally being a child.
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I m just like, love me now.
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Just being like a kid about wanting attention and just being a bit moody.
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You re lucky you don t throw yourself on the floor.
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No, I m close to it sometimes.
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But I ll still put that voice on sometimes, as if I am doing that.
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So then that s when I m being a child, for sure.
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When else?
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I think that s it.
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I didn t think of much of a child in that respect.
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So parent and then child.
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Oh, we re on child now.
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No, parent, child and partner.
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So partner is when you re like actually supporting each other.
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Yeah.
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And I think we do that overall.
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I d say that that s overall where we end up.
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Yeah, I agree.
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I think you ve been my partner for my health.
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I think you ve been a great partner when it comes to encouraging me to exercise more and work out.
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When we met, I did so much for my mind, but I never exercised my body.
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I just played sports, or I walked and I thought that was enough.
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And you were the one who was training me and encouraging me and educating me.
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SPEAKER_00
And then during the pandemic, we worked out together nearly every day, which I miss, because then she left me to work out with people who actually know how to work out.
1
SPEAKER_00
What are you saying about me?
1
SPEAKER_00
No, that s what I m saying.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I left you.
1
SPEAKER_00
You left me to work out with people who actually know how to work out.
1
SPEAKER_00
Because that was you parenting me.
1
SPEAKER_00
You d be like, let s work out.
1
SPEAKER_00
This is what we do.
1
SPEAKER_00
This is what we do.
1
SPEAKER_00
This is what you call a squat.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then all of a sudden, now you re just at real workout classes.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m not allowed to come to those.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I think you are.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I wouldn t want to.
1
SPEAKER_01
I feel like you partner, again, just day-to-day stuff, but I definitely think you helped me to have, like, figure out my own voice through not just giving to me what I m asking for, but to help me, you know, see my own journey through figuring it out.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I think that takes a lot because it kind of is, you know, it takes a lot of patience to do that.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I think it s the easier option is actually just being like, OK, here, just
2
SPEAKER_01
just do this and just you know this is how you can fix this and this is how you do this and I always I m someone who has a habit of not being certain in my own decisions and so I think you really help to
2
SPEAKER_01
let me navigate even though I ll be like no just tell me like what should I do and you ll be like no I m not telling you what to do like I m going to show you how you can get to the answer you wouldn t say this but that s how you would act like I m going to show you how to get to the answer but I m not going to just give it to you like that because then you re never going to be able to do that for yourself and so I feel like you really did guide through through that as partner.
2
SPEAKER_05
Yeah I think a lot of the time in relationships
2
SPEAKER_05
you make someone feel broken because you keep fixing them.
2
SPEAKER_05
And if you keep fixing them, then that means they remain broken.
2
SPEAKER_05
And then whenever they feel broken, they have to run to you and depend on you.
2
SPEAKER_05
Whereas if you teach people how to heal themselves and navigate life themselves, then you ve actually helped them.
2
SPEAKER_05
So I always tell people that
2
SPEAKER_05
Loving someone means you make them fall more in love with themselves, not more in love with you.
2
SPEAKER_01
And not more dependent on you.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s so true, actually.
2
SPEAKER_01
And again, that takes so much more.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think that takes so much more patience to do it that way than it does to just be like, OK, fine, let me just do it for you.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, you know, it feels like it s actually the faster option.
2
SPEAKER_01
You think you re sacrificing more by being that person that s fixing.
2
SPEAKER_01
But actually, it s more of a selfish way of dealing with it.
2
SPEAKER_01
from my experience of doing it for other people around me and in other relationships around me, that you end up being someone who, yeah, actually thinking about it is probably more of a selfish thing because it also allows you to feel more important versus letting them feel their importance and their value.
2
SPEAKER_05
I think a lot of people love people being dependent on them.
2
SPEAKER_01
Definitely.
2
SPEAKER_05
Because it gives them a sense of significance.
2
SPEAKER_01
Definitely.
2
SPEAKER_01
Especially if you don t know what you re doing in your life or if you feel like you re a bit lost, helping other people, and although that s a great thing when you help other people, but the intention behind it and what you re receiving from it can make a huge difference in how you actually feel about it.
2
SPEAKER_01
So if you re helping someone through intention of genuinely caring for them, genuinely helping them, or are you helping them?
2
SPEAKER_01
because it fuels you into feeling valuable.
2
SPEAKER_01
And therefore, like, for me, I remember it used to be just a way that I would throw myself into so I didn t have to think about what I was doing in my life or how to figure out my own things.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was just, oh, this is great.
2
SPEAKER_01
I need to be doing this.
2
SPEAKER_01
This person needs my help.
2
SPEAKER_01
I need to, like, create this space for myself in their life because then I don t have to think about all the important stuff I actually need to deal with.
2
SPEAKER_01
So it was the easier option and more of a selfish option.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s very true.
2
SPEAKER_04
Guess what, Bango?
2
SPEAKER_04
What s up, Will?
2
SPEAKER_04
So iHeart is giving us a whole minute to promote our podcast, Part-Time Genius.
2
SPEAKER_03
I know, that s why I spent my whole week composing a haiku for the occasion.
2
SPEAKER_03
It s about my emotional journey in podcasting over the last seven years, and it s called Earthquake House.
2
SPEAKER_04
Mango, I m going to cut you off right there.
2
SPEAKER_03
Why don t we just tell people about our show instead?
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that s a better idea.
2
SPEAKER_03
So every week on Part-Time Genius, we feed our curiosity by answering the world s most important questions.
2
SPEAKER_03
Things like, when did America start dialing 911?
2
SPEAKER_03
Is William Shatner s best acting work in Esperanto?
2
SPEAKER_03
Also, what happened to Esperanto?
2
SPEAKER_04
Plus we cover questions like how Chinese is your Chinese food?
2
SPEAKER_04
How do dollar stores stay in business?
2
SPEAKER_04
And of course, is there an Illuminati of cheese?
2
SPEAKER_03
There absolutely is.
2
SPEAKER_03
And we are risking our lives by talking about it.
2
SPEAKER_03
But if you love mind-blowing facts, incredible history, and really bad jokes, make your brains happy and tune in to Part-Time Genius.
2
SPEAKER_04
Listen to Part-Time Genius on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
2
SPEAKER_06
Hey everyone, this is Molly and Matt and we re the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting.
2
SPEAKER_06
like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.
2
SPEAKER_02
We re back with season two of the podcast, which means more opportunities to glow up and become a more responsible and better adult, one life lesson at a time.
2
SPEAKER_06
And let me just tell you, this show is just as much for us as it is for you.
2
SPEAKER_06
So let s figure this stuff out together.
2
SPEAKER_06
This season, we re going to talk about whether or not we re financially and emotionally ready for dog ownership.
2
SPEAKER_02
We re going to figure out the benefits of a high yield savings account.
2
SPEAKER_06
And what exactly are the duties of being a member of the wedding party?
2
SPEAKER_02
All that plus so much more.
2
SPEAKER_06
Let s learn about all of it and then some.
2
SPEAKER_06
Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
2
SPEAKER_00
A new season of Bridgerton is here.
2
SPEAKER_00
And with it, a new season of Bridgerton, the official podcast.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m your host, Gabrielle Collins.
2
SPEAKER_00
And this season, we are bringing fans even deeper into the ton.
2
SPEAKER_00
Colin Bridgerton has returned from his travels abroad.
2
SPEAKER_00
Is Betrothal written in the stars for the eligible bachelor?
2
SPEAKER_00
Meanwhile, the ton is reverberating with speculation of who holds Lady Whistledown s pen.
2
SPEAKER_00
We re discussing it all.
2
SPEAKER_00
I sit down with Nicola Coughlin, Luke Newton, Shonda Rhimes, and more to offer an exclusive peek behind the scenes of each episode of the new season.
2
SPEAKER_00
Watch season three of the Shondaland series on Netflix.
2
SPEAKER_00
Then, fall in love all over again by listening to Bridgerton the official podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
2
SPEAKER_00
Subscribe to catch a new episode every Thursday.
2
SPEAKER_05
So the next topic is that sometimes your partner can be extremely annoying or you find them annoying.
2
SPEAKER_05
In that case, when have me and Radhi ever experienced that?
2
SPEAKER_05
When is that as far as a deal breaker and how to deal with feeling annoyed by your partner?
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t think you ve annoyed me.
2
SPEAKER_05
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re not an annoying person in that way.
2
SPEAKER_01
I feel like, yeah, there are things that irritate me.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t really remember stuff like that.
2
SPEAKER_05
This is the best thing.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I have a terrible memory.
2
SPEAKER_05
You forget the bad stuff and you forget the good stuff.
2
SPEAKER_01
You can t have one or the other.
2
SPEAKER_01
You have both.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I would say that obviously there are times where I ve got agitated and been really snappy.
2
SPEAKER_01
I definitely have more of a short fuse than you do.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I have a...
2
SPEAKER_01
not tantrums, I wouldn t call them tantrums, but I definitely can be more defensive and have more of an ego about arguing.
2
SPEAKER_01
But that s very difficult when the other person doesn t have that.
2
SPEAKER_01
And that s probably the most annoying thing that you do, that it s like, I want to have a fight, and you re just like trying to resolve it within the first three seconds when I m still in fight mode.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, for goodness sake, just fight a little bit.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, please, just give me something.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he s just always trying to just make things better.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s so annoying.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s it, really.
2
SPEAKER_05
No, come on.
2
SPEAKER_05
I must do stuff to annoy you.
2
SPEAKER_01
No, yeah, that is the thing that annoys me.
2
SPEAKER_01
As in, because sometimes you just need to have a fight.
2
SPEAKER_01
Sometimes you just need to, like, argue it out, say things you don t mean, you know, just really... No, you never.
2
SPEAKER_01
I know, I don t say things I don t mean.
2
SPEAKER_01
You ve never said something you don t mean.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t say things I don t mean, but what I mean is just, like, sometimes you just want to have it out.
2
SPEAKER_05
You ve never said something mean to me.
2
SPEAKER_01
And with you, it s like me going... And you re going...
2
SPEAKER_01
That s basically how our fights go.
2
SPEAKER_05
You ve never said something mean to me.
2
SPEAKER_01
No, okay, I don t.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s true.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m very thoughtful about my words.
2
SPEAKER_01
With everybody that I talk to and that I argue with, I may say things irrationally, but I never say things I don t mean or I m very specific with my words.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I m just saying sometimes I like to have a bit of a tiff.
2
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, I would agree.
2
SPEAKER_05
I genuinely don t believe you ve ever said something you don t mean.
2
SPEAKER_05
I don t think you ve said something harsh.
2
SPEAKER_05
You might be upset with me or irritated or annoyed.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think I just go silent or I don t say things.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s probably the thing that annoys you.
2
SPEAKER_05
No, not anymore.
2
SPEAKER_05
That used to, but I talk about that in the book.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, do you?
2
SPEAKER_05
How I learned about that, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s the other thing.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know what?
2
SPEAKER_01
The other thing is, I never know what s going to be in podcasts.
2
SPEAKER_01
Never know what s going to be in podcasts, never know what s going to be in a book.
2
SPEAKER_01
I didn t even know that there was going to be a love book, but somehow there s a book about love and it happens to do with us.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m quite private with certain things.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then suddenly it s all over the news.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s everywhere.
2
SPEAKER_01
And actually, sometimes I think about it, I m like, I don t think I had a choice in this.
2
SPEAKER_05
Oh, so does that annoy you there?
2
SPEAKER_01
I think there are certain times I m like, oh.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I also think it s a personal choice of how much you want to share about different parts of your life.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I think it s like... Now we re realising it.
2
SPEAKER_01
No, not in a bad way at all.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think you are just someone that really wears your heart on your sleeve.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re someone who wants to share things, to give lessons and experiences to people.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re never someone who shares to show off.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re never someone who shares to
2
SPEAKER_01
prove a point to anybody like you are so wise with how you share things and that s why it s not an annoying thing.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t mean an annoying thing but it s one of those things I m sure there are different types of partners where one person s like way more like I everybody always says to me like oh my god you re so eccentric I can t believe that you don t like doing things in public or that you don t and it s such an interesting thing because you would you not your nature is like you you re
3
SPEAKER_00
nature is to be around people in front of people in terms of like you are so you exude that you thrive off it like that s when I think that that s when your nature is it s when you thrive off something like part of it at least whereas for me it s something I definitely learned to grow into and it s something that I absolutely love like I love sharing things with people but I think
3
SPEAKER_00
the way that you share, like you re a very open person.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so it s less annoying thing.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s just something I randomly thought of.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, actually, I don t I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like some people would tell me, oh, I ve heard this about you on the podcast.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, oh, my God, I didn t even know that was on the podcast or like I didn t even know this was in the book.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so I think it s just it s different ways.
3
SPEAKER_00
And it s just understanding the person s intention behind it.
3
SPEAKER_00
So it doesn t upset me.
3
SPEAKER_00
I think I m very different in terms of how I share about us.
3
SPEAKER_00
But it s like it s you
3
SPEAKER_00
You re also in the relationship.
3
SPEAKER_02
I really appreciate that kind of lens to it because I think someone else could be upset.
3
SPEAKER_02
But you re right.
3
SPEAKER_02
I only share our ups or downs or challenges because I want people to recognize that there is no perfect partnership.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I think when we first started sharing about our relationship,
3
SPEAKER_00
That s why I stopped.
3
SPEAKER_00
Because I hate being seen, like, I find it really suffocating when if people think anything about perfection to do with me, because I know I m not that person.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m not that person in the race.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m like, trust me, he wrote this book for me to read because I need the stuff that s in the book.
3
SPEAKER_00
But like, I genuinely don t feel that I m a perfect person.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so I find it really suffocating and kind of difficult to handle.
3
SPEAKER_02
No, and so do I, and so do I, and that s my point that the reason why I started talking about... Oh, you alright?
3
SPEAKER_02
Should I get a tissue?
3
SPEAKER_01
You okay?
3
SPEAKER_01
You alright?
3
SPEAKER_01
You want a tissue, bro?
3
SPEAKER_01
You want some water?
3
SPEAKER_01
You okay, bro?
3
SPEAKER_01
That was so beautiful.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m a cry everyone okay I cry when I m happy I cry when I m angry I cry when I m sad I cry with every emotion it s just how I release things
3
SPEAKER_00
For anyone who doesn t know that, I ve spoken about that a thousand times, so don t worry if you see me cry.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m not telling you to stop crying.
3
SPEAKER_00
No, I know, I know.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m just telling the... That s actually why I started to share, and we always did, but share fights that we had or challenges that we had or things like that because I just found that
3
SPEAKER_02
I too don t ever want to portray a perfect image of me, of me and you, of anything in my life because no one s perfect.
3
SPEAKER_02
We re all making mistakes.
3
SPEAKER_02
We re all a work in progress.
3
SPEAKER_02
And the last thing I want is for people to think that me and you never fight or that me and you have it all figured out or that we re not having to transition and grow because we have to do all those things all the time.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I think the mistake that happens is sometimes with like, obviously, like the question I get asked all the time now that you ve written a book about love, obviously, it s like, oh my gosh, and you are, you re like, just to be clear, Jay s literally like one of the most amazing partners you could ever ask for, but they assume that the relationship is just,
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, I just don t like the idea of perfection.
3
SPEAKER_00
I find that with my stuff as well, like, because people think that you re just a positive person.
3
SPEAKER_00
And same with you, you must get that all the time where it s like, oh my gosh, you must never get upset and you must, you just seem happy all the time.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, and then it makes you want to kind of be like, oh, I m sad today, everyone.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, I choose what I share because I don t want to share that energy with people because I know the energy I want other people to feel when they watch my things or when they experience it.
3
SPEAKER_00
That doesn t mean I don t harness that energy within me.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s what I then choose to,
3
SPEAKER_00
let other people experience.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I think that s also important to know what you re giving out to people.
3
SPEAKER_00
I know that if someone s sad around me, that s going to make me sad.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so... I m sorry.
3
SPEAKER_00
And when people are happy, it s the same thing.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so I d rather give off contagious, happy energy than sad.
3
SPEAKER_00
But that doesn t mean people don t feel it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, definitely.
3
SPEAKER_01
Definitely.
3
SPEAKER_02
I fully agree with you.
3
SPEAKER_02
This is for my LA listeners exclusively.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s the month of love so I had to do something special and that includes self-love too.
3
SPEAKER_02
Joyo is a new sparkling tea brand and each adaptogenic tea are crafted with the best tea blends and powerful botanicals for a perfectly effervescent drink that inspires and enhances both your mind and body.
3
SPEAKER_02
Me and Radhi came up with Joyo and I m so happy to announce that Joyo is collaborating with Air One.
3
SPEAKER_02
And guess what?
3
SPEAKER_02
My Love Potion launches on Valentine s Day at all Air One stores located in the Los Angeles area.
3
SPEAKER_02
So make sure to go to your favorite Air One store on February 14th
3
SPEAKER_02
and ask for Jay s love potion.
3
SPEAKER_02
I can t wait for you to try it.
3
SPEAKER_02
Also, if you don t already follow Joyo on Instagram, go to at Drink Joyo because we ll be selecting one lucky winner and giving them a $20 Air One gift card.
3
SPEAKER_02
I can t wait for you to try my love potion.
3
SPEAKER_02
Make sure you head to Air One from 14th February onwards.
3
SPEAKER_02
For most of us, learning a second language in school wasn t exactly a high point in our academic careers.
3
SPEAKER_02
Now, thanks to Babbel, the language learning app that sold more than 10 million subscriptions, there s an addictively funny and easy way to learn a new language.
3
SPEAKER_02
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3
SPEAKER_02
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3
SPEAKER_02
With Babbel, you can choose from 14 different languages, including Spanish, French, Italian, and German.
3
SPEAKER_02
Plus, Babbel s speech recognition technology helps you to improve your pronunciation and accent.
3
SPEAKER_02
In addition to lessons, you can access podcasts, games, videos, stories, and even live classes.
3
SPEAKER_02
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3
SPEAKER_02
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3
SPEAKER_02
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3
SPEAKER_02
Right now, get up to 55% off your subscription when you go to babbel.com forward slash on purpose.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s babbel.com forward slash on purpose for up to 55% off your subscription.
3
SPEAKER_02
Babbel, language for life.
3
SPEAKER_02
And that s why I talk about, I mean, I ve constantly been talking about like when I get irritated or when I get agitated or like I always talk about how I get more moody and I can get snappy and all those things with you.
3
SPEAKER_02
And that s what I talk about in the book about how when we have a fight, I want to solve it.
3
SPEAKER_02
When we have a fight, you want to hide.
3
SPEAKER_02
And so I call it venting and hiding.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then there s another one called exploding, which are the three fight styles.
3
SPEAKER_02
Exploding is when someone just wants to let all their emotions out.
3
SPEAKER_02
And we found a way where in the beginning when you used to want to hide or you take some time out and I wanted to vent, in the beginning I used to think you didn t care.
3
SPEAKER_02
And so I literally would feel like you didn t love me as much or you didn t care as much and I would say that to you only to realize that none of that was true.
3
SPEAKER_02
What I realized was that s just how you process an argument.
3
SPEAKER_02
And learning that that s how you process an argument, and that what I m doing isn t right, it s just how I process an argument, helps you realize that you could actually be on the same team.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then saying, okay, let s get back to this in 12-24 hours, we can actually come back having digested what the problem is.
3
SPEAKER_02
and talk about the problem.
3
SPEAKER_02
And so I shared those kind of examples of our relationship in order to help people understand that even I used to think you didn t love me because you wanted to not talk to me for two days.
3
SPEAKER_02
But that s not true.
3
SPEAKER_02
You just needed time to think about it.
3
SPEAKER_02
And just because I wanted to talk about it now doesn t mean I care more.
3
SPEAKER_02
But that s how we think about things.
3
SPEAKER_02
We all think we care more in the way we act or that someone else cares less.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s true.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and I think it s just, it s that thing of whenever you re sharing things about, you know, you share so many different topics and there s so many things that you speak on.
3
SPEAKER_00
And, you know, when it was purpose, I m sure you ve got lots of questions about purpose.
3
SPEAKER_00
When it s love, you get so many questions about love.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I just think there s this like, I think I m still learning to deal, you ve already, I feel like you have this thing of not, you re very good at digesting, not really
3
SPEAKER_00
knowing what your intentions are, knowing what you re grounded in, knowing your purpose, and therefore what other people s perception of that is, doesn t affect you as much.
3
SPEAKER_00
I think I m still working through the pressure of perfection, which I m just like, it s so hard to be like, I m just not perfect.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m not happy all the time.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m not this all the time.
3
SPEAKER_00
But it s very difficult to
3
SPEAKER_00
vocalize that in a way that s not like, okay, you re just saying that because, you know, it s so hard to communicate it to people if they ve already got that perception of you.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I think that s why sometimes I hide away or shy away from like discussing certain things, because for me, it s like, I just, I find that too difficult to, at the moment, something that I m dealing with myself of like, that s not why, like whenever, yeah, that s just the phase of my life that I m in right now.
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I think everyone in the world is looking for perfection in someone else.
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No, but there s a part of us that deeply wants it.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and it s like, once you know, because perfection in, when I think about it and have tried to think about that mindset, it s like, okay, because perfection equals happiness in minds, like, and I can understand, it s like, whenever I see someone who I think, whatever perfect is to me has that perfect life,
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I m like, oh, that is what happy is.
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And I think it s just through my own thing of whenever I ve got the things that I think mean perfection, or the things that people perceive of you as being perfect, you re like, that doesn t make me feel happy at all.
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SPEAKER_00
Those things that you re saying to me,
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or messaging me saying that, oh, you ve got this, which is like, that s like the perfect this, or whether it s to do with physical appearance or mental state or whatever it is, it s like, there s so many parts to perfection that people think equal perfection, but it s like, when you hear that from the other side, I m like, oh, wow, that s perfection.
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That hasn t made me happy.
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SPEAKER_00
And so I think there s, for me, when I think about perfection now, it s like, I ve realized stripping back so much to be like, what is,
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what would make me the most happy and that s what perfection is and to me right now it s really leaning back into my spiritual journey and like really trying to harness that because I know that was the only thing that made me so happy not only but like the main thing that made me so happy and that that includes the people around you who really support that but
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SPEAKER_00
I think when you end up just constantly hearing what perfect is and what people think you are as being perfect, it stops you from actually being yourself.
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SPEAKER_00
And I m like, this year, I just want to be so much more less trying to be what other people s perception of me is and just be... Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I love that.
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SPEAKER_01
And I don t think there s a perfect person.
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I don t think there s a perfect partner.
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I think there s just navigating our imperfections and figuring them out.
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And the reason I wrote a book about love was not because I m a love expert or a love guru or because I think I know everything about love or that we have a perfect love.
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I wrote about it because
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I think I m fascinated by it.
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SPEAKER_00
Totally, yeah.
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I wanted to spend time studying it and learning about it.
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And I wanted to be able to share insights and frameworks that I ve created to not just manage our relationship, but manage and coach other people s relationships that I ve worked with.
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And so what I m sharing in the book is there is no story of a perfect love that we have.
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No, no.
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It doesn t exist in the book.
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There is no perfect story.
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Even our proposal story, I tell is a mistake and something that went wrong.
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And not wrong because you were upset or because you were sad, wrong because...
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it made me realise I was just trying to love you in the way that I thought the movies taught us how to love.
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I wasn t loving you in the way that you wanted to be loved.
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SPEAKER_00
No, but I think the tools and the frameworks that you ve even shared with me have been so useful for not just our relationship, but like every relationship that I have.
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SPEAKER_00
So I personally think like everything that you ve even taught me in the relationship has been applicable to every relationship that I have.
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SPEAKER_00
And I think, like genuinely think you re like the perfect person to write this book because it is so much about
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you ve spent so much time and so much energy building, like the relationships that you have, not even just romantic relationship, the relationships that you have with people, that for me has been like the, when you have a qualification, but not the qualification, whatever that word is, but the qualification for you to write the book, like,
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because seeing your relationships with people, how deep they are, how genuine they are, how authentic they are, that in itself is the most beautiful thing because it s so hard to build relationships in the world.
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Through all of this stuff that happens throughout life, through the barriers that we put up, through the social media filters, through every filter, there s so many filters that we end up having throughout our life now, especially because you re exposed to so many people
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SPEAKER_00
The more people you re exposed to, the more you feel like you have to adapt, the more you feel like you have to change.
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SPEAKER_00
And sometimes you re putting on different clothes and different things, not clothes, but different clothes and layers to be different people for different people.
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SPEAKER_00
And I think you are someone who literally, through every relationship I have seen, remain the same person.
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You react to things in the same way, you treat things in the same way.
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SPEAKER_00
So this is me saying separately as your partner,
4
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saying that the way that you have cultivated relationships and really work through how you create authentic relationships, that for me is like, I want to read the book because of that.
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SPEAKER_00
And that obviously applies to our relationship, the way that you communicate, the way that you share things.
4
SPEAKER_00
It takes so much work to become that person.
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SPEAKER_00
and to just read the book to understand and by the way this is not a book plug book plug guys i haven t read it yet but i know it s going to be good just because of having experienced that and seen it like for 10 years day in day out the way that you are and that s why people who are close to you and the people that you have in your life and the
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the way that you have created those relationships.
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They are relationships that you have for years and years and years.
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And not even if they re not, they re relationships that have got so deep so fast that it s never been about the surface level stuff.
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And I think that is just so powerful and so amazing because
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I know I ve had relationships, I ve had friendships that I ve had or relationships for years and years and they still don t feel what they should feel like because I haven t invested the time to figure out how to make it that.
4
SPEAKER_00
And each relationship is so individual that you have to invest that time.
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SPEAKER_00
So if you want that relationship with someone and you want that friendship, you want that brothership, whatever it is, it takes that time investment.
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SPEAKER_00
It takes creating those frameworks, it takes creating
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whatever it is, but it is an investment of time and energy.
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And I think that the amount of relationships that you ve had throughout your life that have been so meaningful, that in itself shows that you have so much to share and wisdom to share on it.
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you know, romantic plus other relationships.
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I think that s such an important skill that you have to have through your life.
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SPEAKER_00
And I feel like I would be so sad if I got to the end of my life and I was like, wow, I had all these friends, but like no real relationships.
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The whole thing we needed as humans, I feel, is to feel that connection.
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SPEAKER_00
and you can go 50, 60, 70, 80 years of your life not even having one connection to someone in that way and how sad to have missed out on life.
4
SPEAKER_00
Sad, I m talking sad for me not like oh that s sad but like genuinely sad to go through a whole life s worth of living
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SPEAKER_00
and not actually having experienced what a relationship means.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like that would just, you know, how unfulfilling that would be.
4
SPEAKER_00
And so, yeah, I m like, I genuinely am excited to read it because I feel like, and you re like there teaching me along the way, but sometimes it s hard to really hear from someone that you spend time with or like,
4
SPEAKER_00
that you really, that you not take for granted because I really value what you do, but you kind of take the words for granted when you re not studying it or when you re not actually in, you know, when you re not in a place to even receive it.
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SPEAKER_00
And so I feel like I m in that place right now where I really want to build deeper connections.
4
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And I think that s why it s, yeah, I think it s such an important thing from you, from other people.
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Started listening to the podcast recently, I did.
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This was on purpose.
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The question was, what did we find annoying about each other?
4
SPEAKER_01
Right.
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I did.
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I said that it s when you share things about me that I don t know about.
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That is something that genuinely annoys me.
4
SPEAKER_00
And also because it s seen from your perspective and you have like a filter of your eyes when it comes to me because you always think things I do are nice.
4
SPEAKER_00
When actually I can be a terror.
4
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, I changed the question.
4
SPEAKER_00
Sorry.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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So I have a chapter in this book called Your Partner is Your Guru.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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And this was inspired by you.
4
SPEAKER_00
Great.
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SPEAKER_01
Amazing.
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Well, really it was inspired from our tradition and the idea that relationships are more about education and enlightenment than they are about entertainment.
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And I think that you get into relationships because of pleasure.
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But actually relationships that last are ones in which you grow and which you find a purpose.
4
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And I think that sounds really unsexy and uncool because people think like, oh, well, my partner should just be someone I have fun with all the time.
4
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And we have a lot of fun together.
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We ve had a lot of fun over the last 10 years, for sure, without a doubt.
4
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Like whether it was when we ve traveled together, when we ve started
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joyo together, when we ve moved, whether we were in this tiny shoebox apartment or whatever it was, we ve had a great time.
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But the greatest great time is when you re learning and growing together because you actually learn how to improve your relationship and that s what makes your relationship better.
4
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So when I talk about your partner as your guru, what I love is that
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If you look at Eastern traditions, gurus are not the people who tell you what to do or preach to you or act smarter than you.
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The guru, like the monk gurus, they would come and sit at the back of the class and listen to a young monk give a talk.
4
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That s what gurus did.
4
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Or when you bow down to an elder guru, the guru would bow down to you on the floor, even if they were twice your age.
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The guru was not a figure that made you feel inferior.
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It s not authoritative in that way.
4
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But the guru was a figure that constantly made you feel like they believed in you and that you had potential and that you had value to offer.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so when I wrote this chapter called Your Partner is Your Guru, I break down the qualities of a student and I break down the qualities of a guru.
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And all of the qualities are a guru is generally
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your partner who believes in you.
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And what I found in relationships is that it s so easy for you to be the most critical person of your partner.
5
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It s so easy for you to say that, oh yeah, you re just the worst and you re so lazy and you re not ambitious enough.
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You re not organized enough.
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It s so easy.
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And I found so many couples were in that space.
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Even if you don t say it, we feel that about our partners because people say it to other people.
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The amount of people that come to me and say, my partner s not ambitious enough.
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He doesn t work hard enough.
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Or she doesn t understand enough.
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She s too clingy.
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We have these negative views.
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And actually, we should be the ones who see the potential in our partner.
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Of course, beyond any, and I make this very clear in the book, beyond any abusive or toxic relationships,
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We should look at the potential in our partner.
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We should be the ones who are making them feel like they can grow and become something.
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Of course, not ridiculous and stupid ways, but in a healthy way.
5
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That s why I think that when I wrote this chapter, one of the ways in which you ve been my guru is that, and I ve said this multiple times to other people, I don t think I ve said it to you fully, but I think that as I became more materially successful, I wanted you to love me more for my material success.
5
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And you didn t, like you just didn t budge.
5
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So even if I d like win an award or I d be number one or whatever I did, I never felt like you loved me more.
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And for a long time in our relationship, I just felt like you didn t love me like because of that, because you didn t love me more.
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And then when I would talk to you or I would hear about what you said to someone else, and even when I listen to you today, it s like I m constantly reminded that you love me for who I am, not what I achieve.
5
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And that has been the greatest guru thing that you ve done, because I think I would have started to love myself for what I ve achieved and not who I am, if you love me for what I achieved and not who I am.
5
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And so that is such a subtle, intricate point.
5
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But that s the kind of stuff that your partner can do for you, because your partner actually sees you.
5
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And then in a more tangible way,
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you re the person that if I m practicing a talk to you or I m practicing something to you or I read you a part of the book when I m first writing it you ll call me out and be like that s average or I don t like that or that s crap.
5
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I m so great at that.
5
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And it s like your partner
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He s only doing that and you say this to me all the time when my ego gets in the way and you ll be like, I m only doing that because I want it to be amazing because I care about you.
5
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The person who doesn t care about you is just gonna be like, oh, that s amazing.
5
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Like, that s awesome.
5
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Just keep doing it.
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Whereas you re like, I don t want you to look stupid on stage tomorrow.
5
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I want you to think about it.
5
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And so I find that that also is how your partner is your guru because
5
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they re the only one who can coach you through your ego.
5
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Because if anyone else said that, I probably wouldn t take it.
5
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But because you re saying it, it s like, I know she wants only what s for my benefit.
5
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And so I will listen more as well.
5
SPEAKER_01
When the Taliban banned music in Afghanistan, millions were plunged into silence.
5
SPEAKER_01
Radios were smashed, cassettes burned.
5
SPEAKER_01
You could be beaten or jailed or killed for breaking the rules.
5
SPEAKER_01
And yet, Afghans did it anyway.
5
SPEAKER_01
This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.
5
SPEAKER_01
The danger they endured.
5
SPEAKER_00
They said my head should be cut off.
5
SPEAKER_01
The joy they brought to the nation.
5
SPEAKER_00
You re free completely.
5
SPEAKER_00
No one is there to destroy you.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m John Legend.
5
SPEAKER_01
Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
5
SPEAKER_00
things.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I also think with what you were saying about, you know, the awards and stuff, I think there s, you know, what I ve learned from those situations is that there s still an element to like, even though, you know, I always think about people who achieve a lot in their life, and I m not saying, oh my God, it s so hard to achieve a lot in life, but to just, no, I mean, no, what I mean is so, it s such a hard life to achieve a lot.
5
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What I m trying to say is that it s,
5
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It s difficult sometimes for people who, and by the way, this doesn t mean achieves a lot in the limelight or achieves a lot in their day-to-day life, but, you know, people can get so used to people achieving that every success doesn t end up feeling like a success to the other people, but the, not grout, what s the word, like the... Graft.
5
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graph that s gone into it, only the person who s done it knows.
5
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And even as someone who s watched you through it or watched you actually do what you need to do to get those achievements, it s still not the same as being that person.
5
SPEAKER_00
And so to even be a person watching and observing,
5
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still to have that respect and that value for it and to share that, oh my gosh, that s amazing.
5
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And I genuinely think I just got so used to you achieving, and you ve always been a person who s achieving, but the work has just always been there.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I think it s even just appreciating the work, even if you don t appreciate what s come from it.
5
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Even if I m not like, oh my gosh, it s a award, because sometimes I m like, oh wow, another Streamy.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh wow, another this.
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Like, OK, cool.
5
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Because I know that there s always more coming, because I know you are just such an achiever.
5
SPEAKER_00
And like, you put in the work, so naturally there s going to be achievement.
5
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But I think there is so much in, even though you re not looking for it, what I ve learned from it is there is so much to actually, so much to sharing that, wow, I see the work that you re doing.
5
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Like, that s amazing.
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I never felt like you needed that validation because I was like, oh, you just keep going and you know that you re doing great.
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Like, you must know it because you are.
5
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But I think it s really important for loved ones, partner, family, to keep sharing people s success.
5
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And you know, when you end up celebrating other people s success, I ve realized that in my life, it makes you so much more of a better person because you re really thinking about how amazing it is for someone to have done that.
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And not even just the success, the legwork that s happened before that.
5
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And it s so important to do that.
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It s not about boosting someone s ego.
5
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It s not about making someone feel like, oh, what they ve got is it s so valuable, but making someone know that we see the work that you re doing and we see the hard work that s going into it.
5
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And I see, you know, I just it s a way of saying I see you in a subtle way.
5
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And I think it s really underrated because
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Because I think people are used to being like, oh, wow, that s amazing.
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You got this.
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But they don t think about everything else before.
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So now when I think about celebrating someone s success or celebrating your success, it s like me actually saying to you, wow, I see everything that s happened for you to get there.
5
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And I ve realized how important that is.
5
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And I don t normally and I ve not been someone to do that for you.
5
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So now I m like, oh, I really do want to do that for you and for other people around me.
5
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And I think you re right.
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The guru part is true.
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Like whatever I ve noticed I haven t been doing has been instrumental for this, but also in every relationship that I have, because it s showing me that
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The little thing, you know, you know, it s so much about yourself.
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Obviously, they always say you notice the most about yourself in relationships, right?
5
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Like who you actually are.
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And I feel like in a lot of other relationships, I haven t seen that.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know, with my mom, she s always just like, whatever, you know, whatever you end up doing, your mom s love you like all the time.
5
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It s like unlimited amount of love, but.
5
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I think in relationships, you re constantly reflected back to you.
5
SPEAKER_00
They don t, in your relationships, you don t allow, you know, I feel like I see it on a constant basis of what I m not doing, especially if your partner is someone who is so loving that the reflection is, you know, you can t help but see the things about you need to change because that person is constantly just pouring love into you.
5
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And so I think it s just, anyway, I just think it s such an important part, but that guru part that you were saying, I completely agree, because I feel like I ve had that, and that s been pouring into other areas of my life, too.
5
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And so, yeah, that s it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Why are you laughing?
5
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You always do that at the end of when you re talking about something.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m like, yeah.
5
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You re really passionate, and you go, yeah.
5
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So that s it.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, because I feel like I ll just end up repeating it in different ways.
5
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I m learning to be succinct.
5
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So the question is, what have we prioritized in a previous relationship that we don t prioritize in this relationship?
5
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Something we basically thought was important before, but we no longer think is important now in this relationship.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think it s what you ve talked about a lot, and I m sure many people have heard you say this, but the time quality thing.
5
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I think that s been something that you, you know, the more time you spend with someone, you think that time is the investment.
5
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People think that time is the investment, like the amount of time you spend with someone is what the investment is.
5
SPEAKER_00
This person is willing to spend two hours with me, but this person is willing to spend 15 minutes with me.
5
SPEAKER_00
That must mean
5
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the two-hour person values me more, loves me more, cares for me more.
5
SPEAKER_00
But what is the quality of those two hours?
5
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What is the quality of those 15 minutes makes such a difference.
5
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And I think, you know, I ve just been so used to that concept that that s what I always, you know, related to this friend or this relationship.
5
SPEAKER_00
This person wants to spend the most amount of time with me.
5
SPEAKER_00
That must mean
6
SPEAKER_00
you know that person loves me more and so I think that s something I ve really changed because you can feel so much more fueled from a 15-minute interaction with someone and loved with presence then you can with you know two hours of someone s distracted time and I m that s something I m still working on as a
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a person of being someone who s present.
6
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I think it s something I ve really, you know, I ve been up and down with it.
6
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There are different times where my mind can just, you know, go everywhere and do everything and not even be in the same room as everybody else that I m in the room with.
6
SPEAKER_00
But I think it s something that I know it s something I want to be working on and something I want to be improving on.
6
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But I think that s a value that I have changed.
6
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I love that.
6
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I think I ve talked about this a few times, but I do think it s important to keep reiterating.
6
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I think I used to see romance very one way.
6
SPEAKER_01
I had a very singular view of what romance meant, which was like nice dinner, candlelight, flowers, movie, that kind of very typical idea of what romance looks like.
6
SPEAKER_01
Or like Netflix and chill where you re snuggled up on the couch watching.
6
SPEAKER_01
I think we all have these very basic views.
6
SPEAKER_01
I had someone ask me the other day, they were like,
6
SPEAKER_01
you know, if I m Netflix and chilling with someone, like we ve gone beyond the first date phase of having a drink together, but now we re Netflix and chilling, like, but I don t feel chemistry.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, you re not gonna feel chemistry Netflix and chilling.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, just watching a movie.
6
SPEAKER_01
Just watching a TV show or a movie, like you can t feel chemistry for someone doing that because it s such a basic activity.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I think our relationship by almost chance, and I don t know how, but we kind of started on that foot of like, one of our first dates was Go Ape.
6
SPEAKER_01
And Go8, for anyone who doesn t know what that is, is an assault course that s 80 feet up in the air.
6
SPEAKER_01
You know, we re like swinging from branch to branch.
6
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We re helping each other out.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like, you got to see what scared me.
6
SPEAKER_01
I got to see what scared you.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like, there s just so much opportunity for chemistry there.
6
SPEAKER_01
And we would have very easily figured out if there wasn t any chemistry there.
6
SPEAKER_01
And another thing that we ve done a lot of which we talked about before is escape rooms.
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Again, it s very easy to like get a conversation started and like you don t have to have that awkward silence because there s something to solve.
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And I think that s what life s kind of like.
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Life s about solving a problem.
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Life isn t just talking to each other.
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And often when you go to dinner, I see so many couples on their phones and no one s talking for like an hour and a half.
6
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and the food comes and you kind of mention a few things that you like and then you re back to your phone and that s because you can t just sit there and have random conversation you need another almost activator or something interesting or fascinating to do like I know when we ve been to like a pottery class or a painting class or recently you tried to do wakeboarding
6
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Right.
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And it s like that to me is so much more.
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I learned so much more about you watching you try to do this impossible task.
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An extreme sport, I might add.
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An extreme sport, which made you feel like you had whiplash the next day.
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Oh my God, I was in so much pain.
6
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Yeah.
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But it was like so fun watching you try something new as opposed to like if we just sat at the beach and had dinner, like it just goes to be the same.
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And I appreciate, by the way, like we re tired at the end of the day.
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We do want to turn a show on.
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That s fine.
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But at least once a week.
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I think it s really important to go do something different, something that builds, something where you re learning about someone, something where you get more curious, you laugh at each other, you laugh at yourself, something where you re both doing a new experience because I find that in my old relationships I literally thought of love and romance as a very typical date night.
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And I don t think we have a typical date night.
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I think we try and avoid it generally.
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Or if we go to watch a movie, we don t see that as date night.
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We just see that as watching a movie.
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We re both like, oh, we really want to see this movie.
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Let s go and watch it.
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But we re not like, oh, this is date night.
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That doesn t become our bonding.
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That just becomes something fun we want to do.
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Or we don t watch a TV show and think, this is us bonding.
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Things where you re not connecting can t be something that deepens or strengthens or creates
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you know, a different perspective on your relationship.
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It s just, you know, I used to feel the same way where it s like, oh, you know, that that thing of going on a Friday, like movie night, you know, and if if if every single time you re hanging out, it s an activity where there s little connection, little like connection on like all levels, connection on a mental level, connection on talking like there s so much to do with connection that needs to happen within within a day or within
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spending time with someone where if you re watching something or if you re doing something with little of that, how can you get to the end of the day and be like, you know what, that was really good.
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I really felt like I connected with that person.
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Because really you re just sitting there together in the same space, but the connection isn t, you know, that s a different type.
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There s not a deeper connection that you re building during that time.
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And again, I love going to watch movies and stuff, but I think I ve learned even if I want to get to know a friend,
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I won t ask her to come to watch a movie with me.
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That won t be the first time I m spending with a girlfriend I m trying to get to know.
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It will be, let s go work out together.
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Let s go food shopping together.
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Like it sounds so wrong, but something where we re able to connect on things, find out mutual things that we like or love.
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And, you know, that s what really builds familiarity and a connection.
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And so, yeah, I agree.
6
SPEAKER_01
So the question is, if we rewinded 10 years, what would have been our top three things we were looking for in a person?
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, at that time, I think my mum was more worried about me looking for a partner than I was.
6
SPEAKER_00
No, I m joking.
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SPEAKER_00
She wasn t, like, pushing or anything, but... Your mum forced you to marry me.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, basically.
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SPEAKER_00
It comes out now.
6
SPEAKER_00
No, I don t know.
6
SPEAKER_00
I was, like, in a big transitional phase of my life when I was... when I started getting to know you or when I met you, at least.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that s a long time ago.
6
SPEAKER_00
Well, we re talking about when we first started dating.
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SPEAKER_01
Ten years ago is when we first started dating.
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SPEAKER_00
Right.
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So at that point, I don t think I knew.
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I think I was just at the point in my life where I was like, oh, I knew I wanted someone that I could grow spiritually with.
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I think that was that was probably top of my list at the time because of the phase I was in.
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I was, you know, in deep
6
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at that time of really trying to explore that phase of my life, that part of my life.
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And so that was probably number one for me, was someone that I know has spirit and that wants to explore that part of their life too.
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SPEAKER_00
That s what I wanted.
6
SPEAKER_00
Same, that was my number one too.
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SPEAKER_00
I didn t really have any like at that time had any like financial goals or anything.
6
SPEAKER_00
That wasn t something I thought about very often.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then apart from that I m trying to think oh and just laughing like I knew that I wanted someone that I could laugh with and crack jokes with and just.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think laughing was really important to me.
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And I don t think I hadn t spent time to think about that at the time.
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So that s that s about all I can think.
6
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I don t think I ever had a list either.
6
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Like I don t think I was ever that kind of a person.
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And that s why I m not a big list person now.
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Like I don t I think lists can often minimize
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who you meet, because you have such a criteria.
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And then you re finding this person who has all of this perfect criteria.
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But someone can be perfect on paper, and still not be the right person.
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And I think you see this, like, I mean, I m giving a sports analogy here.
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But bear with me, it s the idea that sometimes a team on paper
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can be the perfect team.
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They have all the best players in the world, but they don t perform on the pitch or on the field.
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And I feel like that s what relationships end up like, where you have this person who ticks all your criteria, but then they re not that in real life.
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You don t feel that with them.
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And so I think relationships are more about discovering someone
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Like I couldn t have known what you would be like in 10 years.
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You just can t know that.
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You just can t know what someone s going to be like in 10 years.
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And so all I could do is be curious and open and learn.
6
SPEAKER_01
You are so many more things than I ever thought you were or would be or could be or anything.
6
SPEAKER_01
But you either have to figure it out as you go and go, oh, I like that or I don t like that.
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SPEAKER_01
And let that be what leads you rather than be like, OK, I think I know who this person is.
6
SPEAKER_01
But then what if they change?
6
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What if those three things you wanted became completely different?
6
SPEAKER_01
Like I did want someone who is spiritually grounded.
6
SPEAKER_01
You are still spiritually grounded and that is a massive pursuit in you.
6
SPEAKER_01
I wonder what I would feel like if you weren t spiritual anymore.
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t even know how I feel about that because that would be something you d have to be open to if it came to that.
6
SPEAKER_01
And so I think criteria are interesting, but I think it s more about exploring and discovering a human being.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s true actually so many people have lists of like so many of my friends who are looking for a partner will have all these lists of what they want and every category they ll have something that they want in it and sometimes it s like oh I met this person and they make me laugh and they you know they really give that feeling that they ve been looking for but then they don t meet the criteria and it kind of completely throws them off and they don t even know whether to go on a second date with them and it kind of feels like a missed opportunity because you know it s so a lot of the time it should be so much more about emotion and how someone makes you feel versus whether they fit that
6
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that perfect that you ve created.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, like some people are like, he has to be six foot two.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
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So, oh my gosh, so many people.
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And I m like, my friend has to be tall, dark and handsome.
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And I get being attracted to your tattoos.
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And I get being attracted to your partner.
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Yes, definitely.
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I m not saying don t be attracted, obviously, right?
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Just putting it out there.
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But you can t make that the criteria of it all.
7
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Not if you re already getting along with, like if you get along with someone and you ve got that, you know, connection to then go back to your list and be like, tick, tick, cross.
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Because the six foot two is not going to keep that relationship going.
7
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That s the point, like whether the six foot, you know, that s not going to make sure.
7
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We re all going to shrink, you know, that s what happens with old age.
7
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So the question is, how do we show up for our partner even when our partner has so many other priorities, has a purpose, has things that keep them busy?
7
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How do we still show up for each other when we re busy and they re busy and have so much going on?
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think this was actually our weakness because being busy in our life came about on us so quickly.
7
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Like, I don t, you know, I always say this to people, like, I didn t plan for this life.
7
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We didn t plan for this life.
7
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Things transformed and moved very quickly and changed very quickly.
7
SPEAKER_00
And it took off quickly even for us.
7
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And we almost had to play catch up with it.
7
SPEAKER_00
And so I never thought when we got married that we d ever spend any time apart.
7
SPEAKER_01
Right, right, right.
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SPEAKER_00
And all of a sudden, months,
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in our relationship before the pandemic, in the first two years of our marriage, we spent like eight months apart.
7
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And then it was the pandemic and we spent every day together and I loved it.
7
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I d have to say it was two of my favorite years of spending time with you.
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I love spending time with you for those two years.
7
SPEAKER_00
And then when the pandemic was over again, our lives again have been like, we spent like nearly six months apart last year.
7
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This month, at the start of this year, we ve already spent a month apart, obviously different reasons.
7
SPEAKER_00
And last year, again, was a surprise.
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It wasn t part of the plan.
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It was challenges beyond us that we couldn t control that were keeping us apart.
7
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visa issues, things like that that are like complex and you know things that we have to deal with when you are from different countries and live in different countries and that was like the first time where I realized that I didn t have good tools for that kind of distance and actually because I just thought that it didn t matter you just stay the same and things would be fine and so
7
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I think I ve actually learned the hard way sometimes where I haven t been as well informed or didn t think I had all the tools or had it all figured out.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I ve realized the importance of checking in every day, which I never really used to think that was a thing.
7
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I never thought you had to check in every day.
7
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And I know that sounds stupid to a lot of people, but... No, I think it s also because we re both very independent.
7
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Yeah, we re very independent as well and we re safe and secure and we trust each other.
7
SPEAKER_00
And then I realized checking in every day was so important when we were traveling or not in the same place.
7
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That was a big one.
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I d say that the other one was for every day you spend apart, you need to have a quality day together.
7
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I really believe that.
7
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I felt like last year when we didn t see each other for six months, I felt like I spent the next six months only thinking about our relationship because it had to be the priority.
7
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You can t just expect a plant or a tree to grow in your house when you don t water it and you don t take care of it.
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SPEAKER_00
And so if you ve not seen it for six months because you ve been traveling,
7
SPEAKER_00
You don t just get to come back to it and go, oh great, I m back now, start blooming.
7
SPEAKER_00
It doesn t work that way.
7
SPEAKER_00
It takes so much of that effort and I think I didn t fully digest that and last year was that year where I was like,
7
SPEAKER_00
All right, that s what it s going to take.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s going to take six months of recreating, refocusing, reprioritizing.
7
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That s what I did last year.
7
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That s how I felt that I focused on that at the end of last year.
7
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And that s how I feel now as well.
7
SPEAKER_00
Like, you know, you ve been here because of family challenges and things like that with your grandma, who s not been well, and who obviously we know is your favorite person in the world.
7
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And it s like, you ve obviously wanted to be with her.
7
SPEAKER_00
And again, we haven t seen each other for a month because you ve had to be with her in hospital.
7
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And so there s so many things that come up in our lives
7
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that are always going to be there.
7
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So we can t live in this perfect world of like, oh, never go two days without each other.
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Life doesn t work that way.
7
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You can t make fake rules.
7
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But the rule I have made is that when we are reconnecting, you have to go deeper in less time to rebuild the relationship when you are busy.
7
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And you have to spend quality time.
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One of the things I love that we did was, and I want to get back to it as soon as
7
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we re in a flow of being together again.
7
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It s like the idea of every 30 days, we used to take three days, we disappear three hours away from LA, we d lock our phones away in the room and we just bike together, walk together and be together.
7
SPEAKER_00
And to me, when you all have a busy month,
7
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having three days a month where you go so deep with each other is so needed because you are busy every month and not everyone has time every day or the energy every day to like sit down with their partner and check in and make it amazing.
7
SPEAKER_00
You can t but you can once a month and I think you have to have a monthly check-in even when we do these annual check-ins
7
SPEAKER_00
I think these are really important.
7
SPEAKER_00
Like, yes, we record it and it goes out as a podcast, but I think every couple should have an annual check in and answer these questions that we re answering.
7
SPEAKER_00
Otherwise, years go by and then a decade later, you re thinking about your relationship.
7
SPEAKER_00
And so I think reflecting is such a powerful tool.
7
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And recording is actually a powerful tool.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I think if we were to reflect and record more often every month and every year with our partners, your relationship will go in the right direction, as opposed to your relationship going off in the wrong direction.
7
SPEAKER_00
And then you re trying to save it years later.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that makes sense.
7
SPEAKER_01
I think check-ins, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
I think I didn t think that either.
7
SPEAKER_01
I was like, oh, we re on two different time zones.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s so hard to just, we ll just figure out when we see each other and we ll talk when we see each other.
7
SPEAKER_01
We ll catch up with each other when we see each other.
7
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, I think daily check-ins is a really important part of it.
7
SPEAKER_01
Message or call, like whatever is feasible.
7
SPEAKER_01
easy to do.
7
SPEAKER_00
I think being really honest about what you need as well, I feel like just catching the person.
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You know that even if I ve had a busy day, if you said to me,
7
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I really need to talk to you tonight or let s chat, you know I d be there.
7
SPEAKER_00
Even if I ve had a really busy day and I m exhausted or whatever it may be.
7
SPEAKER_00
But if you don t know, sometimes you assume your partner just knows how you re feeling.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I think that s always where things go wrong, where it s like, well, why haven t you checked in with me for a month?
7
SPEAKER_00
And that mentality really ruins relationships.
7
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Rather than just saying, let s agree to have a check in every month, see how we re doing, see what you need help with.
7
SPEAKER_00
One thing I recommended in the book was four questions.
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So once every day is what have you done for yourself today?
7
SPEAKER_00
Once every week is, what have you got coming up this week and what support do you need?
7
SPEAKER_00
Every quarter is, is this relationship going in the direction you want and how can we get it in there?
7
SPEAKER_00
And the fourth question every year is, what are your goals and how can I help you?
7
SPEAKER_00
I ask you a lot of those questions all the time.
7
SPEAKER_00
And so I just broke it down into that formula because I really wanted people to have like really clear things that they could do.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
I ll ask you then from now on.
7
SPEAKER_00
Cool.
7
SPEAKER_01
Get my notepad out.
7
SPEAKER_00
So the question is, it s early 2023.
7
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What are our goals?
7
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What are we pursuing?
7
SPEAKER_00
What s important to us as a couple for this year?
7
SPEAKER_00
I always talk about in the book how there s three types of relationship.
7
SPEAKER_00
The one you have with your own purpose, the one your partner has with their purpose, and then having a purpose together as well.
7
SPEAKER_00
And so looking at that third part of it, I think for me, it s I really feel that even though I haven t been neglectful or
7
SPEAKER_00
I don t feel I ve put our relationship second or less important for this much time.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m definitely in a place this year where I want it to be really important and so I want to travel more together.
7
SPEAKER_00
I want to spend even more quality time together especially because we ve kind of gone from having like
7
SPEAKER_00
Two years when we first got married, we went together, two years married where we were like in a pandemic where we re together every day.
7
SPEAKER_00
So now again, the busyness and it s almost like I want to make sure that I m constantly investing in that, in our relationship.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I think traveling together more, having that deep time as I m talking about together, those weekend breaks we used to take, more like that stuff is so important to me.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I m really looking forward to that with you.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, me too.
7
SPEAKER_01
That and like I think for me it s like learning how to schedule in time for that because sometimes I can be like, oh yeah, it will happen and we can do it whenever and we ll just hang out and but like planning things and creating experiences and moments for that to happen.
7
SPEAKER_01
I think that s something I want to work on because I m not very good at that.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
Thank you, Ravi, for coming back on.
7
SPEAKER_00
That s all right.
7
SPEAKER_00
You ll be coming back on a lot this year and next year because you ve got so many exciting things.
7
SPEAKER_01
Sorry, I m fully booked for the rest of the year.
7
SPEAKER_00
You ve got so many exciting things coming up.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m so excited.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m so proud of you.
7
SPEAKER_00
I ve been watching you in the background work on so many incredible things that are going to excite and delight so many people, surprise so many people.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I can t wait for you to share them with the world.
7
SPEAKER_01
Me too, I m excited for that.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I love you and it s been fun watching you grow.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s been fun doing this with you as always.
7
SPEAKER_00
Can t believe we haven t done it for two years.
7
SPEAKER_01
I know, I can t either.
7
SPEAKER_01
What were we doing last year?
7
SPEAKER_00
Well, I didn t see you for six months.
7
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah, that was it.
7
SPEAKER_00
But I love you so much and I m so grateful to be in this journey of life with you and I don t think I would have learned half of
8
SPEAKER_02
what I ve learned in life or what I put in this book if I wasn t with you.
8
SPEAKER_02
Same.
8
SPEAKER_02
And so you ve taught me so much.
8
SPEAKER_02
Same.
8
SPEAKER_02
You ve taught me so much.
8
SPEAKER_02
And I still find you as adorable as I did 10 years ago.
8
SPEAKER_02
Thank you.
8
SPEAKER_02
And that s a wrap guys!
8
SPEAKER_02
Thank you so much for listening to On Purpose, and I ll see you on another episode.
8
SPEAKER_02
Thank you so much.
8
SPEAKER_02
Bye.
8
SPEAKER_02
If you loved this episode, you re going to love my conversation with Matthew Hussey on how to get over your ex and find true love in your relationships.
8
SPEAKER_01
Guess what, Will?
8
SPEAKER_01
What s up, Mango?
8
SPEAKER_01
I ve been trying to write a promo for our podcast, Part-Time Genius, but even though we ve done over 250 episodes, we don t really talk about murders or cults.
8
SPEAKER_00
I mean, we did just cover the Illuminati of cheese, so I feel like that makes us pretty edgy.
8
SPEAKER_00
We also solve mysteries like how Chinese is your Chinese food and how do dollar stores make money?
8
SPEAKER_00
And then, of course, can you game a dog show?
8
SPEAKER_00
So what you re saying is everyone should be listening.
8
SPEAKER_00
Listen to Part-Time Genius on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.