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SPEAKER_00
Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous.
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SPEAKER_00
I m Dax Shepard, I m joined by Monica Padman.
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SPEAKER_03
We do love these, don t we?
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, don t we ever.
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SPEAKER_00
Of course, this is school dance disasters.
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SPEAKER_03
Did you have one?
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SPEAKER_03
Yeah, yeah.
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SPEAKER_03
You pooped in the punch bowl?
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SPEAKER_00
No, this is probably worse.
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SPEAKER_00
Eighth grade dance, big, big dance.
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SPEAKER_00
That s the one where everyone dresses up and no seventh graders or sixth graders.
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SPEAKER_03
Exactly.
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SPEAKER_00
And I m dating Randy Hamana, who s the prettiest girl in school, and we take our two friends, we decide to all go together, and they had made an announcement that you could not rent limousines.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh.
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SPEAKER_00
So, my father at the time, who subleased cars,
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SPEAKER_00
owned a limousine.
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SPEAKER_03
By the way, Easter egg for this episode.
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SPEAKER_00
So because my dad owned it and my brother drove it, we re like, this will be no problem.
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SPEAKER_00
We didn t rent a limousine.
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SPEAKER_00
Uh-huh.
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SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that s fair.
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SPEAKER_00
And we went, Randy and I and our two friends, and when we arrived,
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SPEAKER_00
Bart Montani, my assistant principal, who loved me and couldn t stand dealing with me all at the same time.
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SPEAKER_00
He rooted for me and punished me regularly.
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SPEAKER_03
A lot of people can relate.
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SPEAKER_00
He would not let us into the dance.
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SPEAKER_00
We were not allowed to go to the dance.
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SPEAKER_00
Yes, yes.
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SPEAKER_00
And then so, so then my brother got involved and he tried to bring us back in a different car.
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SPEAKER_00
It was a whole thing.
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SPEAKER_00
So I ruined basically.
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SPEAKER_03
Oh, but you try and do something so sweet.
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SPEAKER_00
So sweet.
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SPEAKER_00
I do remember the limo trying to get up and down Randy s driveway, which is in the woods.
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SPEAKER_00
And we almost didn t make it just because of that.
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SPEAKER_03
Wow.
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SPEAKER_03
Was Randy sad?
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SPEAKER_00
I think everyone made the best of it.
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SPEAKER_00
We told ourselves, well, this will be more memorable.
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SPEAKER_00
It was still a very fun night.
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SPEAKER_00
We went out to eat in the limousine.
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SPEAKER_03
That s fun.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but I felt, of course, terrible for everyone else.
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SPEAKER_00
I m sorry that happened.
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SPEAKER_00
Of course, I instigated this.
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SPEAKER_00
I was trying to be a big shot, I guess.
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SPEAKER_03
Sometimes you never learn your lessons.
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SPEAKER_00
I know.
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SPEAKER_00
Look, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn t.
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SPEAKER_00
You re right.
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SPEAKER_00
So I guess I did have a school dance disaster.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that was good.
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SPEAKER_00
So please enjoy school dance disasters.
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SPEAKER_01
Hi, is this Megan?
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Is this you?
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SPEAKER_00
Our apologies, our internet went out, had to do a hard reset in the basement, but we re back.
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SPEAKER_02
Oh, that s okay.
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SPEAKER_00
No worries.
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SPEAKER_00
Where are you at Megan?
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SPEAKER_02
I m in Indiana.
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SPEAKER_00
In which glorious city of Indiana are you in?
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SPEAKER_02
Indianapolis.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, Indy proper.
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SPEAKER_02
Heart of the city.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Heart of the state.
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SPEAKER_00
I mean, heart of the state.
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SPEAKER_00
Does your school dance disaster take place in Indiana?
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SPEAKER_02
No.
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SPEAKER_02
So it actually is about my high school prom and it takes place in Livonia, Michigan.
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SPEAKER_00
Did you go to Stevenson?
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SPEAKER_02
No, I went to Franklin.
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SPEAKER_00
Franklin.
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SPEAKER_00
Okay.
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SPEAKER_00
Well, my grandma Yola s taught at Stevenson.
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SPEAKER_02
I didn t know that, but I ve been a fan of this podcast forever.
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SPEAKER_02
And so I ve been listening since the very beginning and my favorite episodes with your mom.
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SPEAKER_02
And she mentioned that she grew up right behind Wonderland Mall.
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SPEAKER_02
And that s where I grew up.
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SPEAKER_00
No kidding.
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SPEAKER_02
I still live there.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh gosh.
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SPEAKER_00
So we had the Arby s around the corner.
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SPEAKER_00
Also when we interviewed Sanjay Gupta, we talked about you had the Ponderosa and the strip mall by the Kmart.
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SPEAKER_02
So they got rid of the Kmart.
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SPEAKER_02
Everything has changed a lot.
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SPEAKER_02
So I don t think they have that anymore, but we are literally right behind, like there s a target and a Walmart and we re right there.
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SPEAKER_00
Did you say senior prom?
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SPEAKER_02
It s my senior prom.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
OK, walk us through what happened.
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SPEAKER_02
OK, so there s three high schools in Livonia and I guess there s only two weekends that they can have prom on.
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SPEAKER_02
So I was dating someone from Churchill and they chose the same weekend for our proms to be on.
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SPEAKER_02
So we had to pick.
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SPEAKER_02
And so I had some friends at Churchill and I was like, I think it ll be OK.
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SPEAKER_02
Let s just go to your prom.
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SPEAKER_02
We re getting ready for the prom.
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SPEAKER_02
Everything s going smoothly.
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SPEAKER_02
My mom comes out and she says she has a surprise for me.
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SPEAKER_02
You know, I m all dressed up.
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SPEAKER_02
It was 2011, so people are wearing like huge poofy princess gowns.
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SPEAKER_02
We all look like flowers.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, beautiful.
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SPEAKER_02
My mom comes out and she goes, oh, we have a surprise for you.
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My grandma had passed a year prior and we were really close and I was named after her and she brings out this box and she goes, I have your grandma s clutch that she took to her prom.
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SPEAKER_02
And it s like this cute little bag and it s bedazzled and I m so excited.
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SPEAKER_02
And she says, just really be careful not to lose it.
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SPEAKER_02
Like don t let anything happen to it.
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SPEAKER_02
So I m like, okay, I won t, I promise.
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SPEAKER_02
So we go to prom.
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SPEAKER_02
Actually, everything goes well.
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SPEAKER_02
We re in a group of like 20 people.
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SPEAKER_02
We have a huge party bus that we rented.
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SPEAKER_02
And after prom, we have about an hour left in our party bus rental.
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SPEAKER_02
And so we decide to tell the driver to just drive around downtown Livonia.
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SPEAKER_02
You know, we ll make the use of our time with the bus.
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SPEAKER_02
And so he s driving around the downtown, like four shops on the side of the road.
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SPEAKER_02
And we re, you know, being high school seniors, we re hanging out of the windows yelling like senior year and prom.
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SPEAKER_02
Everything s going great.
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SPEAKER_02
We re having a great time.
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SPEAKER_00
You re drinking a little bit?
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SPEAKER_00
Has anyone snuck in some booze?
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SPEAKER_00
Are people intoxicated?
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SPEAKER_02
No, honestly, I didn t really drink in high school.
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SPEAKER_02
Wow.
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SPEAKER_02
Good job.
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SPEAKER_02
We were very good.
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SPEAKER_02
So there was one person in the group that one of the girls had brought him as a date.
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SPEAKER_02
He was from, like, a neighboring high school.
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SPEAKER_02
I can t remember which one.
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SPEAKER_00
Walled Lake Central.
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SPEAKER_02
Something like that.
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SPEAKER_02
The real Dax type.
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SPEAKER_02
And so he was a little sketchy, and I didn t really know if substances were on board.
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SPEAKER_02
But finally, we get back to the girl s house where all of our cars are at.
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SPEAKER_02
We come in from inside the windows, and I m looking for my grandma s bag.
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SPEAKER_02
And I can t find it.
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SPEAKER_02
I m looking in the seats.
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SPEAKER_02
It s got my cell phone in it, my money, and my boyfriend s car keys.
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SPEAKER_02
And so I tell him, like, I can t find my bag.
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SPEAKER_02
So he goes to the front of the bus and kind of like blocks off the front and he makes an announcement and he s like, everyone, we need to start looking for Megan s bag.
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SPEAKER_02
And... Oh boy.
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SPEAKER_00
Okay.
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SPEAKER_00
Wow, you just bared witness to the biggest tech debacle we ve had in Armchair history.
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SPEAKER_00
And thank you for your patience.
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SPEAKER_02
Wow, I feel honored.
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SPEAKER_00
Now, for the audience, our Wi-Fi went out, so now we switched to an iPad, which took a tremendous amount of time figuring out.
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SPEAKER_03
Yeah, and then we moved to a different recorder, it s a whole thing.
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SPEAKER_00
Yes, we had a bad cable that we were chasing down everything with.
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SPEAKER_00
Anyways, if it sounds a little bit different, that s what happened.
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SPEAKER_00
I m so sorry, you were at the point where you were trying to get off the bus and you discovered you did not have grandma s clutch.
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SPEAKER_03
And your boyfriend was making an announcement.
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SPEAKER_03
Perfect, I can start there.
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SPEAKER_02
Okay, so he gets to the front of the bus and he basically stands there and like blocks off the exit and says, we need to find Megan s purse.
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SPEAKER_02
It s somewhere on the bus.
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SPEAKER_02
Everyone start looking.
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SPEAKER_02
And so as soon as he does that, the sketchy guy stands up, shoves him aside and like runs off the bus.
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SPEAKER_02
And so at this point, all of the guys just kind of like make eye contact and they re all just like, get him.
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SPEAKER_02
They all just run off the bus.
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SPEAKER_02
All 10 of us girls are on the bus freaking out.
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SPEAKER_02
The girl who brought him as a date is like, he didn t steal it.
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SPEAKER_02
He doesn t have it.
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SPEAKER_02
We just kind of let the guys handle it.
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SPEAKER_02
So they all follow him out.
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SPEAKER_02
He gets into his car.
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SPEAKER_02
The guys surround the car and are basically like yelling things at him, like, give it back, we know you have it.
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SPEAKER_02
But I don t know if he just got nervous or what, but all of a sudden he just turns his car on and hits the gas straight into the side of the party bus.
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SPEAKER_02
Oh my God.
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SPEAKER_00
What?
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SPEAKER_00
He just completely panicked because he s surrounded by this mob of kids.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh my goodness.
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SPEAKER_03
And he thought that was going to get him out?
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SPEAKER_00
He thought, you know, I ve made a couple of bad decisions.
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SPEAKER_00
It s time to make a great decision.
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SPEAKER_00
I m going to T-bone the party bus.
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SPEAKER_02
I don t really know what the logic was, but that s what happened.
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SPEAKER_02
And so luckily, none of the guys got hurt.
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SPEAKER_02
The bus was a tank, so we were fine.
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SPEAKER_02
But I looked out the window that I was hanging out of, and I just see the front of his car, like, crunched into the side of the bus.
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SPEAKER_02
And then all of a sudden, I see him back up and take off.
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And so we all run out of the bus now.
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At this point, I am, like, crying.
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SPEAKER_02
I m like, that s my grandma s purse.
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SPEAKER_02
And everyone s freaking out.
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SPEAKER_02
The bus driver s, like, yelling stuff about insurance.
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SPEAKER_02
And the guys are, like, all amped up.
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SPEAKER_02
And then, like a movie, it just starts pouring down rain.
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SPEAKER_02
And so we re in the street, like freaking out, trying to call the cops.
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SPEAKER_02
And, you know, you can t really get that far in the suburbs with significant front end damage to your car.
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SPEAKER_02
So they re actually able to find him pretty quickly.
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SPEAKER_02
They were searching his car for the bag because we had told them that he stole our purse.
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SPEAKER_02
They search him everywhere.
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SPEAKER_02
They can t find it.
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SPEAKER_02
It turns out he had stuck it down the front of his pants and it just fit perfectly.
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SPEAKER_02
Dead grandma s purse right in
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SPEAKER_00
Oh.
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SPEAKER_00
No.
1
Wow.
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SPEAKER_00
Wow.
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SPEAKER_00
We got it back, and we got all of our items back.
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SPEAKER_00
But he ended up going to court because the police pressed charges, and we were called to court.
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SPEAKER_00
And my mom was kind of an angel, and she let him off with community service.
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SPEAKER_02
Wow.
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SPEAKER_02
Oh, my God.
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SPEAKER_02
And he just thought there was a ton of money in that purse, or he wanted to steal for his grandma, maybe?
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SPEAKER_00
Kids from Livonia, like, we don t have a lot in our bags, I don t know.
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SPEAKER_00
But maybe because it was bejeweled, it looked expensive.
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SPEAKER_02
He had maybe sussed you out to be a fancy rich girl.
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SPEAKER_02
Well, thank God that all happened at the end of the night.
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SPEAKER_02
Cause it sounds like you had a wonderful prom until then.
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SPEAKER_00
It was okay before that, but I m like, oh man, I had a disaster prom.
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SPEAKER_00
I feel bad for the girl who went.
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SPEAKER_02
Yes.
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SPEAKER_02
Tell us about the aftermath with her.
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SPEAKER_00
Well, so I didn t really know her that well, but it s funny because when we called the cops, my mom was telling me that I guess when this guy came to pick her up for the prom, her dad got a bad vibe as well, and he took down his license plate number before he drove her off to prom.
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SPEAKER_00
And that s how we were able to find the car, because we gave the police his license plate number.
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SPEAKER_02
Oh my Lord.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_02
And if you re a dad, you re like, I m probably just overreacting and being overprotective.
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SPEAKER_02
I can t really get in the way of this, but I m going to lease right down this plate.
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SPEAKER_02
And by Lord, he was right.
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SPEAKER_00
He caught on the bad vibes.
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SPEAKER_02
I wonder what happened to that young man.
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SPEAKER_02
Do we ever find out years later?
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SPEAKER_02
Does anyone keep tabs on him?
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SPEAKER_00
I completely forgot his name and hopefully he turned his life around.
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SPEAKER_00
He s doing okay.
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SPEAKER_02
Let s hope he learned.
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SPEAKER_00
Speaking of cars.
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SPEAKER_00
So I actually have a funny connection with you and a 1979 Honda Accord.
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SPEAKER_00
So I called my mom to tell her I was doing this show and she s like, Oh, Dax Shepard.
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SPEAKER_00
His dad sold me my first car.
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SPEAKER_02
Oh, wait, my dad, Dave Shepard sold your mother her first car.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
She said it.
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SPEAKER_00
I wrote it down.
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SPEAKER_00
Tamaroff Buick Honda.
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SPEAKER_02
Oh, wow.
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SPEAKER_02
Yes, he worked there.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
They had a mutual friend and they told her to buy her car from him.
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SPEAKER_00
And so she ordered her Honda Accord and then she went to go pick it up and she realized she didn t know how to drive a stick shift.
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SPEAKER_00
So he taught her how to drive stick shift in the parking lot.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s sweet.
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SPEAKER_02
Well, this turned out to be a lovely surprise ending.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_02
I m so happy to hear that s how my dad behaved.
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SPEAKER_02
Did he take her out for a cocktail?
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SPEAKER_02
He s like, let me show you how to drive stick on the way up to Nifty Norman s.
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SPEAKER_02
We ll grab a couple of cocktails and see how you like this thing.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s nice.
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SPEAKER_02
Oh, what an amazing coincidence.
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SPEAKER_02
And then yes, Livonia.
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SPEAKER_02
I mean, I spent all my summers between five and six off of Merriman.
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SPEAKER_00
We live right off of middle belt.
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SPEAKER_02
Oh, perfect.
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SPEAKER_02
Well, Megan, thanks so much for your patience.
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SPEAKER_02
That was crazy.
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SPEAKER_02
That s the most we ve ever put a guest through and your attitude did not suffer at all.
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SPEAKER_02
You re still all smiles and chipper chipper.
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SPEAKER_02
And we thank you for that.
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SPEAKER_00
Thank you so much.
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SPEAKER_00
I m so happy to be here.
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SPEAKER_00
I d like to give a shout out to my dad if possible.
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SPEAKER_00
It s his birthday today.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Happy birthday, Dad.
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SPEAKER_00
He s in his upper 60s and he s still working the night shift at the assembly line at Ford.
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SPEAKER_00
So he s the hardest working person I know.
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SPEAKER_00
He s just the best.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s so sweet.
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SPEAKER_00
That s also a ding, ding, ding to an episode coming up on Thursday.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, well, we can tell you, yes, the CEO of Ford is on Thursday.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, nice.
1
SPEAKER_02
I wish I had known about your dad.
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SPEAKER_02
I would have put in a good word for him.
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SPEAKER_02
Well, happy birthday to your dad.
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SPEAKER_02
What s his name?
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SPEAKER_00
Leonard.
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SPEAKER_02
Leonard.
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SPEAKER_02
Happy birthday, Leonard.
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SPEAKER_02
Thanks for making those Ford s so tough and great meeting you, Megan.
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SPEAKER_00
Nice to meet you guys too.
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SPEAKER_00
Have a good one.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
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SPEAKER_02
Take care.
1
SPEAKER_00
Hello, Ben.
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SPEAKER_02
Can you hear us?
1
SPEAKER_02
Not if you can hear us.
1
SPEAKER_02
No, I can hear you.
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SPEAKER_02
And now we can hear you.
1
SPEAKER_02
How are you doing?
1
SPEAKER_02
So sorry for our delay.
1
SPEAKER_02
We ve had tremendous technical difficulties and now we re talking to you on an iPad over cellular.
1
SPEAKER_02
You re forgiven.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, thank you so much.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s awesome to meet you guys.
1
SPEAKER_02
You too, Ben.
1
SPEAKER_02
Where are you in the country?
1
SPEAKER_01
I m in upstate New York, small town near Syracuse.
1
SPEAKER_01
How far from Niagara falls?
1
SPEAKER_01
Like a couple hours.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m actually for the Unifiles.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m in Ithaca, New York, Cornell University.
1
SPEAKER_00
Very fancy.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_02
So you had a crazy school dance experience?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I did.
1
SPEAKER_01
So this particular school dance was a Halloween dance.
1
SPEAKER_01
It was my senior year of high school and a pretty introverted guy, not super comfortable in social situations.
1
SPEAKER_01
So
1
SPEAKER_01
I wasn t planning on going.
1
SPEAKER_01
As sensitive as I am to social situations, I m also pretty willing to succumb to social pressures.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, no.
1
SPEAKER_01
Gray.
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SPEAKER_01
I hadn t planned on going all day.
1
SPEAKER_01
And at the end of the day, I get calls from a couple of friends.
1
SPEAKER_01
One friend in particular, Kyle, convinced me to go, but it s last minute and it s a Halloween dance, so I do not have a costume.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I m raiding closets in my parents  house.
1
SPEAKER_01
I end up with an amalgam of random things that I m throwing on, the first of which is a long black curly wig reminiscent of Slash, Guns N  Roses.
1
SPEAKER_01
I coupled that with a really cool Buffalo Bills jersey, a practice jersey.
1
SPEAKER_01
It was one of those ones that ends at your belly button and is mostly see-through.
1
SPEAKER_01
A midriff net.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, beautiful.
1
SPEAKER_01
I top it off with some cut-off jean shorts that I fashioned that night before the dance.
1
SPEAKER_01
It was my first attempt as a seamstress and the last.
1
SPEAKER_01
When I put them on, I realized I had gone a little bit too far.
1
SPEAKER_01
Not much left to the imagination with these shorts.
1
SPEAKER_01
Daisy Dukes, proper short shorts.
1
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was probably breaking some school dress codes, but that got overlooked due to some of the other things that were about to take place.
1
SPEAKER_01
I get it all together and we head to my sister s apartment.
1
SPEAKER_01
She was a college student at the time, living locally a few minutes from the high school.
1
SPEAKER_01
So we head over to her house and convince her to procure some social lubricant.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yes, you re going to need it.
1
SPEAKER_01
You re an introvert.
1
SPEAKER_01
What else can you do?
1
SPEAKER_01
Absolutely.
1
SPEAKER_01
I think in my response to the prompt, I said that it was King Vladimir.
1
SPEAKER_01
It was a lateral move.
1
SPEAKER_01
It was actually Barton s.
1
SPEAKER_01
My sister wanted to make sure that was clear.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if you know Barton s Vodka.
1
SPEAKER_01
No.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s a $10 plastic handle.
1
SPEAKER_02
Good stuff.
1
SPEAKER_02
You re getting a full liter for $10 or you re getting a full half gallon for $10?
1
SPEAKER_01
It s like the huge handle.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m really not sure, but it s plastic, so indicative of the quality.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s effective.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s what they re known for.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I take three or four shots.
1
SPEAKER_01
We re in our kitchen.
1
SPEAKER_01
Kyle takes three or four shots.
1
SPEAKER_01
you know, not peak tolerance as a senior in high school.
1
SPEAKER_01
As we re leaving, I decide, yeah, that was not enough.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I turn on my heels as we re walking out the door and I bolt to the kitchen alone and I grab the handle and I don t bother with a glass this time.
1
SPEAKER_01
I take one disastrous pull from this thing.
1
SPEAKER_01
It sealed my fate for the rest of the night.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, Barton s.
1
SPEAKER_01
It was disgusting.
1
SPEAKER_01
And it s not 30 seconds before I ve realized I ve completely overshot the landing on this one.
1
SPEAKER_01
You re messy.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, it s messy.
1
SPEAKER_01
Very quickly.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m getting out of the car and I vividly remember having the thought, this is definitely the drunkest I ve ever been.
1
SPEAKER_01
And in fact, that thought a few minutes after that drink is the last thing I remember for the night.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wow.
1
SPEAKER_01
Right into the blackout.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, right into it.
1
SPEAKER_01
So everything from here on out is eyewitness accounts.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I ve talked to a few friends and gotten some clarity on a few things over the past couple of days.
1
SPEAKER_01
But I walk into the dance, it s immediately apparent to everyone who s paying attention that I am hammered.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m very excited to be there.
1
SPEAKER_01
I get through checkpoint one, getting in and saying hello to a few people.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s so obvious how drunk I am that a kid that didn t even know me pulls out his picture phone from 06 and starts snapping pictures of me for posterity.
1
SPEAKER_02
He knows he ll be telling the story later, so he wants a little photographic evidence.
1
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I walk into the gym and just get right down to it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m putting on a show with some air guitar, a lot of air humping.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wow.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know, it s a school dance, so it had just started, and most people haven t gotten comfortable yet with the dancing, so I m one of just a few, and I m getting a circle gathering around me.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wonderful.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so it culminates in me getting down on the floor on my side doing the classic air guitar move.
1
SPEAKER_02
Where you spin in a circle like Michael J. Fox.
1
SPEAKER_02
Running in circles on the floor.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yes, back to the future style.
1
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
1
SPEAKER_01
Right.
1
SPEAKER_01
So at this point, one of my friends has the wherewithal to think we need to get Ben out of this situation.
1
SPEAKER_01
This is not going to end well.
1
SPEAKER_01
So he does what he can to get me to a bathroom.
1
SPEAKER_01
Unfortunately, there s only one bathroom.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s the main one off of the gym that everyone s going to be going in and out of.
1
SPEAKER_01
He gets me in there.
1
SPEAKER_01
I immediately get sick.
1
SPEAKER_01
Paul had spinning in your guitar move on the ground.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, exactly.
1
SPEAKER_01
People are shuffling in and out and there s
2
SPEAKER_00
no hiding what s going on in there.
2
SPEAKER_00
So lo and behold, the last visitor into the bathroom while I m in there is our principal.
2
SPEAKER_00
My friend is standing behind me, steadying me, trying to keep me upright.
2
SPEAKER_00
And our principal walks in and he grabs my friend by the shoulder and pulls him back.
2
SPEAKER_00
And one of the off quoted statements from this event, he pulls him back and he says, you re out.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m in.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I like that.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like tagging him out as a big time wrestler.
2
SPEAKER_00
The principal drags me to his office, starts making some phone calls.
2
SPEAKER_00
He calls my parents, obviously.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if he alerted the authorities, but he called for an ambulance.
2
SPEAKER_00
An ambulance?
2
SPEAKER_00
That seems extreme.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was clear it had reached a point where I needed medical attention.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh no.
2
SPEAKER_01
That must have been an enormous pull you took out of the plastic handle.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was a lot.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
I at least doubled what I had taken before that.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s my guess anyway.
2
SPEAKER_00
But I m sitting in his office.
2
SPEAKER_00
He s making phone calls.
2
SPEAKER_00
We re waiting for people to arrive to take me.
2
SPEAKER_00
For whatever reason, I decide I m going to stand up.
2
SPEAKER_00
with authority and I lean over his desk, you know, palms down on the desk, like I m going to say something to the principal, but I don t say anything.
2
SPEAKER_00
I then puke again all over his desk.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, boy.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, boy.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, boy.
2
SPEAKER_00
The principal was not happy, obviously.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then I continue to puke, this time in a blue recycling bin.
2
SPEAKER_00
He keeps me somewhat in order until the ambulance gets there.
2
SPEAKER_00
Jesus.
2
SPEAKER_01
At the school dance.
2
SPEAKER_01
And you look like a bozo.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re in a mid-driven jean shorts.
2
SPEAKER_00
Are these your wigs still on?
2
SPEAKER_01
You had to have lost the wig by now, is my guess, though.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m guessing I took that off.
2
SPEAKER_01
There s no way that thing made it through all that.
2
SPEAKER_00
So the ambulance gets there.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m feeling there s an injustice happening.
2
SPEAKER_00
Why am I being targeted?
2
SPEAKER_00
I m sure other people here have had eight shots of Barton s vodka before getting here.
2
SPEAKER_00
I get a little bit uncooperative as they re getting me into a stretcher.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m becoming violent.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m swatting at the paramedics.
2
SPEAKER_00
They re just trying to get me into this ambulance.
2
SPEAKER_00
It takes quite a while.
2
SPEAKER_00
Eventually, they apply handcuffs to get me from taking someone out.
2
SPEAKER_00
As I m on my way to the hospital and the ambulance, my dad and sister are also on their way.
2
SPEAKER_00
My sister is in a lot of trouble, obviously, the older sister and booze supplier.
2
SPEAKER_00
I get to the hospital and they do some diagnostics, make sure, you know, I haven t hit my head or anything like that.
2
SPEAKER_00
They give me a catheter and I am then later told that the catheter was given by a close church friend of my oldest sister.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, great.
2
SPEAKER_01
So the church friend saw your penis, handled it actually.
2
SPEAKER_00
Got all up in there.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I have to see her all the time after this.
2
SPEAKER_00
So every time I see her, it s extremely painful.
2
SPEAKER_00
So they give me the catheter.
2
SPEAKER_00
Probably the most shameful thing I did during this night was when the attending physician came in, I m talking to him and I realized that he s the father of one of my classmates.
2
SPEAKER_00
who I m not friends with, he was a very nice kid, but he s a devout member of the goth community.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I say to the doctor, are you so-and-so s dad?
2
SPEAKER_00
And he says, yes, I am.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I respond, why is your son such a fucking weirdo?
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, no.
2
SPEAKER_00
I feel absolutely terrible about that.
2
SPEAKER_00
I hesitated to even include that in the story, but it happened.
2
SPEAKER_01
Listen, we applaud your honesty, especially when being distasteful.
2
SPEAKER_01
Look, Monica stole some cookies.
2
SPEAKER_01
She might have been racist to a classmate.
2
SPEAKER_01
God knows what I ve done.
2
SPEAKER_01
We appreciate it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, no.
2
SPEAKER_01
What do you say?
2
SPEAKER_00
I didn t get that part of the account of what happened.
2
SPEAKER_00
I think he was pretty nice about it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I found out that my BAC was 0.29.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, my God.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, 0.08 is legally drunk behind the wheel.
2
SPEAKER_01
You three X d that.
2
SPEAKER_01
Did they have to pump your stomach?
2
SPEAKER_00
They didn t have to go that far.
2
SPEAKER_00
Luckily, I got rid of most of it before getting in the hospital.
2
SPEAKER_00
They just kept things moving along with the catheter.
2
SPEAKER_00
That was that for the hospital visit.
2
SPEAKER_00
Afterward, I m in the car on my way home with my dad and my sister.
2
SPEAKER_00
And an important detail of the story is that my dad is a deeply religious guy and very conservative and, in fact, has never had
2
SPEAKER_00
a drop of alcohol in his life.
2
SPEAKER_00
He s never been drunk.
2
SPEAKER_01
Whoa, whoa, like Jehovah s Witness type.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, a lot of fire and brimstone in his youth, and he was under the impression you drink alcohol and you re done.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s sealing your fate.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, he kind of was a little bit right in this situation, unfortunately.
2
SPEAKER_00
So he s trying to relate to me, to a person he can t possibly relate to in that moment and trying to talk some sense and, you know, why d you do this?
2
SPEAKER_00
And I m not hearing any of it.
2
SPEAKER_00
My wits are not about me at all still at this point.
2
SPEAKER_00
And the only thing I can seem to come up with in response to what he s saying is over and over again in front of my sister and to my dad, I just keep saying, dad, I wanna fuck bitches.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re like in a fucking 90s comedy at this point you re in that what project X or something
2
SPEAKER_00
I just keep repeating it.
2
SPEAKER_00
He keeps just confirming, OK, that s what you want to do.
2
SPEAKER_00
Really, son, do you?
2
SPEAKER_00
And that s pretty much it until the next morning we get home.
2
SPEAKER_00
I wake up zero memory.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what s going on.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m in my family s living room on the couch with a big comforter over me.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I think, well, maybe I just got home and fell asleep on the couch.
2
SPEAKER_00
Maybe nothing terrible happened.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I look down and on my wrist is the hospital bracelet.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh.
2
SPEAKER_00
The wave of anxiety was intense.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was horrible.
2
SPEAKER_00
I can feel it every time I think about it.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I was suspended for a week.
2
SPEAKER_00
Obviously, I had to deal with the disappointment of my parents, which was the worst piece of it.
2
SPEAKER_00
My friend Kyle, at some point during the night, I think when I was in my principal s office, was trying to convince the principal, everything s fine, don t worry about it, trying to save the day, this is gonna blow over, let s get past this.
2
SPEAKER_00
And in so doing, got himself into trouble.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh boy.
2
SPEAKER_01
We call this a grand slam.
2
SPEAKER_01
This is a home run.
2
SPEAKER_00
You did it all.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you left nothing unrecked.
2
SPEAKER_01
There was one more detail.
2
SPEAKER_01
We got barred from trying out for basketball that winter.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s a dumb punishment.
2
SPEAKER_01
You don t need less involvement, you need more.
2
SPEAKER_00
Right, more structure.
2
SPEAKER_00
Let s give this guy more free time to drink after school.
2
SPEAKER_00
The cherry on top, though, actually was, I contracted epididymitis from the catheter.
2
SPEAKER_00
What the fuck is epididymitis?
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know the specifics exactly, but I do know that, sorry to be graphic, but my scrotum weighed what felt like a couple of pounds.
2
SPEAKER_00
Just super infected.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh my lord.
2
SPEAKER_00
Terrible, terrible pain for a few days.
2
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_00
Were they swollen?
2
SPEAKER_00
They were extremely swollen.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh.
2
SPEAKER_00
I want to say like three to four times their normal size.
2
SPEAKER_00
Grapefruit territory?
2
SPEAKER_00
Getting close.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was weird.
2
SPEAKER_01
Was there any auto-ironic part of you that enjoyed how big they looked?
2
SPEAKER_01
Be honest.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was kind of fun.
2
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I don t want to do it again, but it was kind of fun.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
I just feel like I wouldn t mind if there was no pain associated with it.
2
SPEAKER_01
I wouldn t mind having grapefruit balls for a day or two.
2
SPEAKER_01
Feel like a chimpanzee.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh my goodness, Ben.
2
SPEAKER_01
You really did it.
2
SPEAKER_01
You left no stone unturned.
2
SPEAKER_01
You got to think about what it s like to be a principal of a high school.
2
SPEAKER_01
You got 500 kids showing up to a dance and you just know like, yeah, percentage wise, I will be dealing with someone in a blackout in a couple hours.
2
SPEAKER_00
It didn t occur to me till much later that that puke had to be cleaned off his entire desk by someone.
2
SPEAKER_00
I feel terrible about that.
2
SPEAKER_01
I bet there are papers.
2
SPEAKER_01
We lost some paperwork for sure.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, we definitely did.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, Ben, that s a barn burner.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m glad you didn t sustain any more injuries other than the elephantitis of the testicles.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think you got out probably pretty unscathed considering the condition we know you re in.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, basketball, that s bad.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah, that s bad.
2
SPEAKER_01
You could have played for the Knicks.
2
SPEAKER_00
And just the guilt of getting my friend in trouble who was relatively responsible and trying to save the day.
2
SPEAKER_00
And he was actually an athlete and really would have liked the chance to try out for a senior year basketball.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh no.
2
SPEAKER_01
And you took your sister down too.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
There was some carnage.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
A lot to learn.
2
SPEAKER_01
Did you ever end up drinking responsibly or did it turn out you had a problem?
2
SPEAKER_00
Not right after that.
3
SPEAKER_00
I had a few more events.
3
SPEAKER_00
I still do drink, but I ve learned to do so responsibly.
3
SPEAKER_00
This was half a lifetime ago.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m 34 today.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
17 that day.
3
SPEAKER_00
So it took a couple of years, but I got there.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m glad you got through.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
I figured it out.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, Ben, it s great to meet you.
3
SPEAKER_01
Thank you so much for telling us that story.
3
SPEAKER_01
Thank you guys so much.
3
SPEAKER_01
All right.
3
SPEAKER_01
Take care.
3
SPEAKER_01
What an experience.
3
SPEAKER_01
The introvert of it all is interesting, isn t it?
3
SPEAKER_02
That s common.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
I do remember high school parties where like this shy person would be all of a sudden at an 11.
3
SPEAKER_01
I didn t even know they had it in them.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s a coping mechanism.
3
SPEAKER_02
So that s why they over drink.
3
SPEAKER_02
Also, he looked exactly like my eighth grade teacher who then became a school principal.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh my ding, ding, dingles.
3
SPEAKER_01
It did remind me of, I have a very similar story from high school.
3
SPEAKER_01
Colleen, who I m in love with, comes over with her friend, a snowboarder.
3
SPEAKER_01
Maybe I m trying to impress them.
3
SPEAKER_01
We re drinking vodka, same thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I drink probably eight or 10 ounces of it.
3
SPEAKER_01
It occurs to me that I m too drunk as I fall down the staircase into my basement, which was a very, very long staircase.
3
SPEAKER_01
And as I was plumping around, I thought, oh, I really can t walk right now.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh God.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
Did you throw up?
3
SPEAKER_01
I threw up.
3
SPEAKER_01
She kind of tucked me in and then she drove her friend back in Barton s minivan and then returned and took care of everything.
3
SPEAKER_01
Thank you, Colleen.
3
SPEAKER_02
That was nice.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, very nice.
3
SPEAKER_02
Hi.
3
SPEAKER_01
Can you hear us?
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay, one second.
3
SPEAKER_01
Is this thing on?
3
SPEAKER_01
Now we can hear you.
3
SPEAKER_01
Can you hear us?
3
SPEAKER_01
I sure can.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wonderful.
3
SPEAKER_01
Is it Amanda?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
We re not anonymous today.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay, wonderful.
3
SPEAKER_00
Where are you at?
3
SPEAKER_00
I m in North Carolina.
3
SPEAKER_01
What town in North Carolina are you in?
3
SPEAKER_00
It s not exciting.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s Cary.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s a suburb of Raleigh.
3
SPEAKER_01
Does your school dance disaster take place in this town?
3
SPEAKER_00
It sure does.
3
SPEAKER_00
I do want to give a shout out to two arm cherries.
3
SPEAKER_00
May I?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes, please.
3
SPEAKER_00
Kerrigan and Meredith have been armchairs with me from day one.
3
SPEAKER_00
I just had to give them a shout out.
3
SPEAKER_00
I cannot forget to say their names before.
3
SPEAKER_00
I bid you guys adieu.
3
SPEAKER_01
Kerrigan?
3
SPEAKER_01
What a cool name.
3
SPEAKER_01
Not that Meredith is not a cool name, but Kerrigan.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it is.
3
SPEAKER_01
Beautiful.
3
SPEAKER_01
Are they involved in this story?
3
SPEAKER_00
They are not.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
The story takes place in North Carolina and there s some context.
3
SPEAKER_00
The dance was a middle school dance.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was hoping for one.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes, because those were my favorite ones.
3
SPEAKER_01
They re the worst.
3
SPEAKER_01
Or the best if you love junior high like I did, but yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
We didn t all thrive.
3
SPEAKER_01
A little awkward probably at that age for a dance.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
So some background, my family moved to North Carolina right before I started middle school.
3
SPEAKER_00
So right before the sixth grade.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oof.
3
SPEAKER_00
The story takes place in the seventh grade, but just to give some context, in the sixth grade, as I m trying to hit my stride, find my friends, I had my first day of school, the chair pulled out from underneath me.
3
SPEAKER_00
Full ass on the floor, that s what we re working with here.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh boy.
3
SPEAKER_00
we get to seventh grade.
3
SPEAKER_00
And at this point, I ve hit my growth spurt, both in height and kind of in weight.
3
SPEAKER_00
Self-confidence at this point in life was not good.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, there s meat on my bones.
3
SPEAKER_00
At that age, Monica, I m sure you remember, like, some girls are this thin, other girls are maturing.
3
SPEAKER_00
So it s just, like, very awkward.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I had insisted, because I have, like, some meat on my bones, like, I need a woman s bra.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, sure.
3
SPEAKER_01
Absolutely.
3
SPEAKER_00
I need that underwire.
3
SPEAKER_00
I need the cup.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m not going to negotiate.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, it s time for the bra.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I don t have any boobs.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
You don t actually need the support.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t have boobs, but because I m filling out in other areas, I m like, let me just try to feel not so chubby and awkward, but like I m womanly.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I like forced a solution that I did not need.
3
SPEAKER_01
You were like, I m going to embrace being voluptuous.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I m gonna fake it till I make it.
3
SPEAKER_00
The problem that arose from wearing a real bra without actual boobs is that any tight top I wore, I had like crater nipples.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like the shirt just concaved at the nipple where there should be boob to fill the cup out.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh no, I see, okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
Were they padded, the bras?
3
SPEAKER_00
That like thin little pad looks horrible, but I committed to it.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t quit.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m like, I have to wear this bra.
3
SPEAKER_00
I like made a big deal out of it.
3
SPEAKER_00
So that brings me to
3
SPEAKER_00
The end of year dance.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s very exclusive.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s only for the 7th and 8th graders.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I m very excited.
3
SPEAKER_00
Never been to a school dance, never gotten dressed up, never done my makeup.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I got ready with one of my best friends at the time, Grace.
3
SPEAKER_00
And she s the perfect friend in middle school you want to get ready for a school dance with.
3
SPEAKER_00
She gets Teen Bop.
3
SPEAKER_00
She reads Seventeen Magazine.
3
SPEAKER_00
Sometimes her mom lets her read Cosmo, so she knows fashion.
3
SPEAKER_00
She knows how to use a hair straightener.
3
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I m feeling good, but I just hated the dress that I picked out.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I looked through her closet, and thankfully she let me wear this light yellow V-neck dress, and I am just loving it.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s the cutest thing ever.
3
SPEAKER_00
The problem is, with a light-colored dress, you re seeing crater nipple.
3
SPEAKER_01
Uh-huh, sure.
3
SPEAKER_00
So we re like, okay, I love this dress.
3
SPEAKER_00
I want to wear it.
3
SPEAKER_00
What can we do?
3
SPEAKER_00
We try to put on like a hot pink tank top underneath, thinking like more fabric.
3
SPEAKER_01
Are you being honest with your friend about the bra situation?
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay, great.
3
SPEAKER_00
She s like, Amanda, all the girls stuff their bras.
3
SPEAKER_00
Let s just go ahead and do that.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
In a matter of seconds, I have like half a box of tissue just jammed in there.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I look in the mirror and I m like, I m a woman.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m feeling so phenomenal.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so I feel so good about myself that I m like, let s take a photo shoot in your backyard.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I sent in Wabi Wab, a picture of like me sitting on her playset, like wind in my hair.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m like, this is going to modeling scouts.
3
SPEAKER_01
Let me take a look.
3
SPEAKER_01
I gotta see this.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, it doesn t look that stuffed.
3
SPEAKER_00
You did a good job.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, this is great.
3
SPEAKER_00
Because I m so flat.
3
SPEAKER_00
The fact that half a box of tissues is stuffed in there.
3
SPEAKER_01
The half box didn t get you to even a B cup probably.
3
SPEAKER_00
No, regardless, my confidence is through the roof.
3
SPEAKER_00
So that takes us to the dance itself.
3
SPEAKER_00
It fits every stereotype of a middle school dance.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s held in an auditorium that has little to no air conditioning, the cheapest DJ that Cary, North Carolina can find.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m dancing my ass off.
3
SPEAKER_00
The problem was the dreaded slow dance was not something emotionally I was prepared for.
3
SPEAKER_00
So my strategy was, let me go outside where the PTA moms have like the light refreshments.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like I m going to cool off, be cool.
3
SPEAKER_00
I refuse to be stuck in the dance floor, not being asked to dance in a slow song.
3
SPEAKER_00
Go outside.
3
SPEAKER_00
And all of a sudden I hear my name.
3
SPEAKER_00
I turn my head and it is my crush walking towards me.
3
SPEAKER_00
To this day, I can still feel my heart simultaneously in my throat and my butt.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like I am on cloud nine.
3
SPEAKER_00
And he s like, why don t you come in and slow dance with me?
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wow.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh my goodness.
3
SPEAKER_00
So we go in and like I said, very stereotypical middle school dance.
3
SPEAKER_00
You are stiff arm lengths away.
3
SPEAKER_00
God forbid you make eye contact with whomever you re dancing with.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s way too intimate.
3
SPEAKER_00
Can t look at each other.
3
SPEAKER_00
We re doing the stiff arm thing, like looking at him like, is he looking at me?
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh my gosh.
3
SPEAKER_00
We get more comfortable.
3
SPEAKER_00
The slow song progresses.
3
SPEAKER_00
We start looking at each other and I notice he is
3
SPEAKER_00
digging what I ve put on my body tonight.
3
SPEAKER_00
He s looking at my dress.
3
SPEAKER_00
He s like, this is so phenomenal.
3
SPEAKER_00
I can just feel it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like he is loving it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Until he gets this funny look on his face and he kind of awkwardly smiles and he s like, so what s that thing in your shirt?
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, fuck.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I look down and it becomes apparent at that moment in time because he was so much taller than me.
3
SPEAKER_00
My biceps were like at my ears, which meant
3
SPEAKER_00
His vantage point had completely unobstructed view down to the end of my bra.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wow.
3
SPEAKER_01
He just sees a mountain of tissue in there.
3
SPEAKER_00
I quickly run to the bathroom to assess the situation.
3
SPEAKER_00
I hold myself up in a stall and I look down and I see what once was
3
SPEAKER_00
voluptuous, fluffy tissue has now congealed itself into like a wet wad sitting at the bottom of my bra.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you had gotten a little sweaty throughout the dance and it wicked up.
3
SPEAKER_00
Very hot in North Carolina.
3
SPEAKER_00
Not only had it formed itself into this wet wad, because I had been moving so much, it started to like disintegrate into like little pieces.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I had like white speckled tissue all over my boob.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like I looked diseased.
3
SPEAKER_00
Not what you want.
3
SPEAKER_01
This is not what you want.
3
SPEAKER_00
Trying to clean myself up.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ve just gone from feeling like I m going to get scouted by modeling scouts.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m feeling myself.
3
SPEAKER_00
Now I have a boyfriend too.
3
SPEAKER_00
My life is over.
3
SPEAKER_00
I can never talk to this guy again.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I vowed in that bathroom, I m never going to make eye contact.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m never going to talk to this kid ever again.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I was successful in that mission.
3
SPEAKER_00
I avoided him like the plague.
3
SPEAKER_00
Very small school.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I did not talk to him for the remainder of six years that we went to school together.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, my goodness.
3
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wow.
3
SPEAKER_00
Moral of the story is, I mean, there s a lot.
3
SPEAKER_00
One, we can t all have fat nachis, and we just have to be grateful for what we have.
3
SPEAKER_00
The more important moral of the story is, I went to a really small school, like I mentioned.
3
SPEAKER_00
Not once did I hear a rumor about me from him spreading it, that he was talking badly about me.
3
SPEAKER_00
So, I don t know how many, I don t do fast math like Dax, but all these years later, I am so proud of that kid and that kid s parents.
3
SPEAKER_00
You should have dated him.
3
SPEAKER_00
He was a good person.
4
SPEAKER_02
That s the thing.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like I know at that age for me, I was certainly mature enough that I would have just felt bad for you.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I would have been happy to ignore it and keep it moving.
4
SPEAKER_02
I mean, most of the dudes that are being assholes don t have attention from gals.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, maybe he might ve been the one.
4
SPEAKER_02
Are you married?
4
SPEAKER_00
I am married very happily.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I actually, before I go, I wanted just to say the second I got the email that I was
4
SPEAKER_00
allowed on this show.
4
SPEAKER_00
I could not keep it a secret from my friends because they know how much I love the podcast, but there is a secret that I have not told them yet.
4
SPEAKER_00
What better way to tell them this secret than on this show?
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I can guess.
4
SPEAKER_00
And that secret is that I m pregnant.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yay!
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God!
4
SPEAKER_02
That s a- Wow, congratulations!
4
SPEAKER_02
Now you re going to have huge fat natchies.
4
SPEAKER_00
I am finally going to get to my fat nachis era and I am thrilled.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that s so exciting.
4
SPEAKER_01
Congratulations.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s never happened on here.
4
SPEAKER_01
I love that.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_02
Do you think there ll ever be a marriage proposal on here?
4
SPEAKER_02
It seems like that could happen.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
We ve now had a baby announcement.
4
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
4
SPEAKER_01
Now you ll know if they really listen or if they re just pretending to be armed.
4
SPEAKER_02
That s true.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_02
We ll find out.
4
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
4
SPEAKER_02
Well, Amanda, congratulations.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I m so sorry you had that experience.
4
SPEAKER_02
You must ve thought your entire life was over.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s such a precarious age, isn t it?
4
SPEAKER_02
12 years old.
4
SPEAKER_00
Not great, but it s so fabulous to meet you both.
4
SPEAKER_00
Dax, you re my celebrity hall pass.
4
SPEAKER_00
I got confirmation from my husband that I could say that.
4
SPEAKER_00
He s like, I guess.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, he s going to be creeped out.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was like, I don t care.
4
SPEAKER_00
I have to say it.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m not creeped out, I m flattered.
4
SPEAKER_02
So many people have Monicas their hall pass that once in a while I get one and I am very grateful for it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, I m happy to say it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Monica, happy belated birthday.
4
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m not mad at you about the blue crew neck Ares sweatshirt.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, thank God.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m actually mad at myself for not thinking about it, for being honest with ourselves.
4
SPEAKER_00
I appreciate it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I appreciate your generosity.
4
SPEAKER_02
Amanda, so nice meeting you.
4
SPEAKER_02
Thank you for telling that story to us and congratulations.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m so happy for you.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_00
Thank you so much.
4
SPEAKER_00
Bye.
4
SPEAKER_02
Bye, take care.
4
SPEAKER_00
Bye.
4
SPEAKER_00
Hello.
4
SPEAKER_02
Scott, can you hear us?
4
SPEAKER_02
Hey, I can.
4
SPEAKER_02
How you doing?
4
SPEAKER_02
We re so sorry about our tardiness.
4
SPEAKER_02
We had a full Wi-Fi meltdown.
4
SPEAKER_02
We re now on cellular and we re on an iPad.
4
SPEAKER_02
So forgive us, please.
4
SPEAKER_03
No problem.
4
SPEAKER_03
Hope this works out okay.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yes, Scott, where are you?
4
SPEAKER_03
I m in Florida.
4
SPEAKER_03
We just moved here from Kansas not too long ago.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
4
SPEAKER_03
Monica, I m not a Florida Gator.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, good.
4
SPEAKER_01
Thank God.
4
SPEAKER_01
Stow your saber.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_02
So you re going to tell us about a school dance that took place in Kansas.
4
SPEAKER_02
Correct.
4
SPEAKER_03
I m going to go way back to October of 1998.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, beautiful.
4
SPEAKER_03
It s my senior year in high school.
4
SPEAKER_03
We had about 1,200 people that went to our school, and drinking was pretty rampant at our school, like I think most high schools.
4
SPEAKER_03
We would, of course, attend pre-parties before the dance, but this was shaping up to be a little bit different.
4
SPEAKER_03
So about a week out, rumors started swirling that school administration was going to have breathalyzers at the dance as people went in.
4
SPEAKER_03
You know, this really started putting a damper on people s plans.
4
SPEAKER_02
Can I quickly ask, what kind of dance was it?
4
SPEAKER_02
Was it homecoming or prom or something different?
4
SPEAKER_02
Sorry, it was a homecoming dance.
4
SPEAKER_02
Okay, great.
4
SPEAKER_02
So we re getting into fall, it s getting dark early, cider season.
4
SPEAKER_02
Let s go.
4
SPEAKER_03
You got it.
4
SPEAKER_03
So that week of the dance, I m studying with one of my buddies, Carl, and we re at his house and just sort of out of the blue, he s like, Scott, I can t be sober at the dance.
4
SPEAKER_03
And I m like, I know, I know, me too, right?
4
SPEAKER_01
It s a non-negotiable.
4
SPEAKER_03
We really need some liquid courage to help us dance, right?
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
So we started to hatch a plan.
4
SPEAKER_03
And we figured that if we couldn t drink before the dance, we would just drink inside the dance.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Great call.
4
SPEAKER_03
Our first step was to figure out how to get it into the dance.
4
SPEAKER_03
So Carl and I were both on student council.
4
SPEAKER_03
We were model students, as you can tell by this story.
4
SPEAKER_02
Well, you were studying with Paul.
4
SPEAKER_02
I can t tell you I had a lot of study dates in my senior year of high school.
4
SPEAKER_03
As student council, we went to decorate before the dance.
4
SPEAKER_03
That was our responsibility.
4
SPEAKER_03
So on Saturday morning, we d go decorate for the dance.
4
SPEAKER_03
It would give us plenty of time to hide booze there.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, this is great.
4
SPEAKER_03
Inside job, inside job, like a bank job.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, exactly.
4
SPEAKER_03
So Carl and I needed to figure out also how to conceal the booze because we had purchased a pint of gin for the occasion, but we felt it was too risky to just hide a bottle of gin in the dance.
4
SPEAKER_03
And so we needed another method.
4
SPEAKER_03
In retrospect, putting it into a water bottle seemed really smart, but we weren t quite that smart.
4
SPEAKER_03
So we picked the next best option, which was putting it into PVC pipes.
4
SPEAKER_02
very interesting choice yes very very interesting okay you know what that is right monica that white pipe you see it s plastic yeah yeah that s pvc but like isn t it open-ended it is you must have had to cap it yeah so when
4
SPEAKER_03
to the hardware store and we bought PVC pipe, just that, yeah, standard white three quarter inch PVC pipe and then end caps to cap the end of it.
4
SPEAKER_03
And we brought it home and we cut it into four sections.
4
SPEAKER_03
We had two longer sections, two shorter sections.
4
SPEAKER_03
The longer sections held about four shots of gin.
4
SPEAKER_03
The two smaller ones held two shots of gin.
4
SPEAKER_03
And we made sure, you know, they were watertight when we capped them and everything like that.
4
SPEAKER_03
It was a great plant.
4
SPEAKER_01
Are you an engineer now?
4
SPEAKER_02
No, I m not.
4
SPEAKER_02
Major Ken Kennedy vibes.
4
SPEAKER_02
This is something Ken Kennedy would do for sure.
4
SPEAKER_02
This is great.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, we love it.
4
SPEAKER_03
So Saturday morning, we go to the school to decorate for the dance.
4
SPEAKER_03
It s a great opportunity.
4
SPEAKER_03
Very few people are there.
4
SPEAKER_03
Coast is clear.
4
SPEAKER_03
We can come and go as we please.
4
SPEAKER_03
So we carry these tubes of gin into the boys bathroom by the cafeteria.
4
SPEAKER_03
And in a school bathroom, there s not many places to hide things.
4
SPEAKER_03
But there were three sinks.
4
SPEAKER_03
So we took three of the pipes and we just duct taped them up underneath the sink.
4
SPEAKER_02
Did it cross your mind to put it in the tank of the toilet?
4
SPEAKER_02
Or it probably didn t have a tank.
4
SPEAKER_02
It was tankless, right?
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh, okay, okay.
4
SPEAKER_03
But there were only three sinks.
4
SPEAKER_03
And so we took the fourth tube and we duct taped it behind the toilet, the very back.
4
SPEAKER_03
And it was a great hiding spot, completely concealed.
4
SPEAKER_03
And we left.
4
SPEAKER_03
That night we arrive at the dance.
4
SPEAKER_02
And were they really actually doing breathalyzers or was that a scare tactic?
4
SPEAKER_03
No breathalyzers.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
So we hang out for a little bit, then we make a beeline for the bathroom.
4
SPEAKER_03
And we each take one of the longer tubes with four shots of gin in it.
4
SPEAKER_03
We pop the top off of it.
4
SPEAKER_03
We just sort of have this moment where we re both looking at each other and we re like, OK, one, two, three, you know, put it to our lips and tilt it all the way back.
4
SPEAKER_03
And that s likely where this story started going sideways.
4
SPEAKER_02
Sure.
4
SPEAKER_03
The one thing that we had never done in all of our planning and preparation was we had never drank out of the tubes before.
4
SPEAKER_03
And there was some weird back pressure thing that happened and the gin just shot straight out of the tube, straight down our throats, you know, four shots of gin, boom, straight down the hatch.
4
SPEAKER_01
Mainline, mainline.
4
SPEAKER_03
It happened to both of us, and Carl and I look at each other with big eyes, and, you know, as we re trying to swallow and gut this gin, and I m just thinking to myself, like, oh, shit, I messed up.
4
SPEAKER_03
I had drank before, but I m a very inexperienced drinker.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, no.
4
SPEAKER_03
I m a one beer tipsy type of guy, and I m not a shots guy, and certainly not a four shots at once guy.
4
SPEAKER_02
Four for one guy.
4
SPEAKER_02
You know Scott, he s a four for one guy.
4
SPEAKER_03
We take the tubes, we hide them in the trash.
4
SPEAKER_03
We re like, hey, we re out on these other ones.
4
SPEAKER_03
Like we need to just be done here.
4
SPEAKER_03
We could be in deep, deep trouble.
4
SPEAKER_03
Carl, is he panicked?
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, he s panicked too.
4
SPEAKER_03
This was just a little too much for us.
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh, you guys are so sweet.
4
SPEAKER_02
You re in student council.
4
SPEAKER_02
You did all this preparation and it breaks my heart.
4
SPEAKER_03
So another guy walks in to the bathroom and we tell him the story and we re like, Hey, if you want these other two tubes, you can have them, just drink them.
4
SPEAKER_03
And then when you re done, just put them into the trash.
4
SPEAKER_03
And he s like, yeah, yeah, I got it.
4
SPEAKER_03
This is awesome.
4
SPEAKER_03
We re like, all right, just don t forget, right?
4
SPEAKER_03
Put them in the trash.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I got it.
4
SPEAKER_03
So we walk out, we head back to the dance.
4
SPEAKER_03
This great buzz starts to kick in.
4
SPEAKER_03
We manage it okay.
4
SPEAKER_03
The whole time we ended up having this great night.
4
SPEAKER_03
Wow.
4
SPEAKER_03
That s really where I hoped that the story would end, but this is where the disaster begins.
4
SPEAKER_03
Uh-oh.
4
SPEAKER_03
Fast forward, it s Monday morning.
4
SPEAKER_03
For some reason, I didn t have a first hour class.
4
SPEAKER_03
I came at second period, which was about nine o clock, and I pull into the parking lot and immediately knew something was wrong.
4
SPEAKER_03
There s about 10 cop cars in the parking lot.
4
SPEAKER_03
Uh-oh.
4
SPEAKER_03
And, you know, this is late 90s.
4
SPEAKER_03
This is before security officers at schools and this kind of thing.
4
SPEAKER_03
Like one police officer was too much to see at school, let alone 10 cop cars.
4
SPEAKER_03
Right.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, I m a little concerned.
4
SPEAKER_03
Keep driving through the parking lot.
4
SPEAKER_03
And by the cafeteria, there s this giant black truck.
4
SPEAKER_03
And the best way to describe it is imagine a 26 foot U-Haul truck
4
SPEAKER_03
Completely black.
4
SPEAKER_03
It s like a semi on the front and a box truck on the back.
4
SPEAKER_03
It has police lights on top.
4
SPEAKER_03
The back of it s wide open and there s a man in camouflage army fatigues that s dressing in a shiny silver suit.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, oh.
4
SPEAKER_02
It just hit me what happened.
4
SPEAKER_02
Okay, continue.
4
SPEAKER_03
I go inside and the first friend I see, I m like, hey, what happened?
4
SPEAKER_03
What s all this police commotion outside?
4
SPEAKER_03
And he s like, I guess a janitor was cleaning this morning and found a pipe bomb in the bathroom.
4
SPEAKER_02
And so I started having this
5
SPEAKER_01
of course, sinking feeling, and I m like, which bathroom?
5
SPEAKER_01
Like that would matter.
5
SPEAKER_01
The one by the cafeteria.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, oh no, my life s over.
5
SPEAKER_05
Oh God.
5
SPEAKER_01
Come to find out the buddy that we gave it to, he drank one of them, left the other one behind the toilet.
5
SPEAKER_01
The janitor had come in in the morning and found that taped up.
5
SPEAKER_01
He thought it was a pipe bomb.
5
SPEAKER_01
He contacted, you know, the principal, the principal contacted the police.
5
SPEAKER_01
And naturally, I guess the police just called the local army bomb squad to come.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
5
SPEAKER_01
That made it.
5
SPEAKER_05
Oh my God.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, my Lord.
5
SPEAKER_01
Carl and I were quite panicked about this.
5
SPEAKER_01
We were good kids, and so our first instinct was, let s just come clean.
5
SPEAKER_01
Let s go down to the principal s office, just come clean, tell him, hey, big misunderstanding.
5
SPEAKER_01
We thought about that for a few minutes and decided that was an awful idea.
5
SPEAKER_03
Good, good, good.
5
SPEAKER_03
There s no reason for you to own up to this.
5
SPEAKER_01
Instead, we decided to cover our tracks and deny, deny, deny, until this day.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, what an exclusive.
5
SPEAKER_05
Wow, you never got caught.
5
SPEAKER_05
Wow.
5
SPEAKER_05
Good, oh, good.
5
SPEAKER_05
That s because of your good karma points, because you were a good kid.
5
SPEAKER_03
You were a good boy, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_05
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_03
I was very nervous that you were going to go turn yourself in, because there s zero proof.
5
SPEAKER_03
How on earth did they conclude who?
5
SPEAKER_04
Well, the other boy, though.
5
SPEAKER_04
I d be worried about that other boy.
5
SPEAKER_01
Loose lips sink ships.
5
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
They were fingerprinting the pipes, and we were trying to cover our tracks.
5
SPEAKER_01
So where we bought the pipe at the hardware store, we had a buddy, Andrew, who worked there.
5
SPEAKER_01
Andrew told us, hey, I have access to the security room.
5
SPEAKER_01
So he went in, and he switched the security tapes.
5
SPEAKER_04
Oh my!
5
SPEAKER_01
So the tape got overwritten.
5
SPEAKER_01
We felt really good about that.
5
SPEAKER_03
Wow, this is a full- It s a real inside job, as I said.
5
SPEAKER_03
It s a shame you didn t get into a life of crime.
5
SPEAKER_03
Heist.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, you could have been successful.
5
SPEAKER_03
Right, right.
5
SPEAKER_04
Wait, what do you do?
5
SPEAKER_03
I m in the dental business.
5
SPEAKER_04
Oh, wow.
5
SPEAKER_03
Okay, the dental hustle.
5
SPEAKER_04
I m so impressed.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, this is great.
5
SPEAKER_04
I think you did the right thing.
5
SPEAKER_03
From beginning to end, I think you did the right thing, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_03
I like every part of it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, thanks.
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, hopefully the statute of limitations has run out, and if it hasn t, please just keep this between us and your listeners.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yes, will do, will do.
5
SPEAKER_03
There s only three or four of us, so nothing to worry about.
5
SPEAKER_03
Well, Scott, we wish you tons of luck on your move to Florida, and we enjoyed that story so much.
5
SPEAKER_03
Thank you.
5
SPEAKER_01
Hey, thanks, and I just have one more request.
5
SPEAKER_01
So, today is my wife s birthday.
5
SPEAKER_01
She s a huge archery.
5
SPEAKER_03
Get her in, let s go.
5
SPEAKER_03
Jane.
5
SPEAKER_03
Oh, here comes Jane.
5
SPEAKER_04
Hi, guys.
5
SPEAKER_03
Hi, Jane, nice to meet you.
5
SPEAKER_04
Happy belated birthday, Monica.
5
SPEAKER_04
Oh, thank you.
5
SPEAKER_03
No shit that you guys are in the dental racket.
5
SPEAKER_03
Look at these smiles.
5
SPEAKER_03
I know, I know.
5
SPEAKER_04
I thought that even during.
5
SPEAKER_03
I know, I wanna keep my lips over my teeth right now, both of us.
5
SPEAKER_04
Stop it.
5
SPEAKER_03
Well, it s so nice to meet you.
5
SPEAKER_04
Thanks for being a arm cherry.
5
SPEAKER_04
Diehard arm chair since day one.
5
SPEAKER_03
Oh my God.
5
SPEAKER_03
Day one.
5
SPEAKER_04
Nice to meet you guys.
5
SPEAKER_03
So nice to meet you.
5
SPEAKER_03
We love Scott.
5
SPEAKER_04
Oh, I m glad you had fun.
5
SPEAKER_04
He s much more, but well behaved now.
5
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_03
He seemed kind of well behaved then too.
5
SPEAKER_04
He s a good kid now.
5
SPEAKER_03
Good boy.
5
SPEAKER_03
Good boy.
5
SPEAKER_03
Take care.
5
SPEAKER_03
Thank you so much.
5
SPEAKER_04
Bye.
5
SPEAKER_04
Bye.
5
SPEAKER_04
Those were fun.
5
SPEAKER_03
Those were really fun.
5
SPEAKER_03
It makes me want to go back to my junior high dances so bad.
5
SPEAKER_03
Did you have junior high dances?
5
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, we had, well, eighth grade.
5
SPEAKER_03
Everyone was invited.
5
SPEAKER_03
Six, seven, eight.
5
SPEAKER_05
We had multiple.
5
SPEAKER_03
You had multiple.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, we had one or two a year, I think, in junior high.
5
SPEAKER_03
And what was great is for the people that didn t want to dance like me, the gym was open and they would play dodgeball.
5
SPEAKER_05
Oh, you didn t want to dance?
5
SPEAKER_03
No, no, I was dancing, but for the other boys who were afraid to dance.
5
SPEAKER_05
Oh, I see.
5
SPEAKER_03
No, I didn t get off the dance floor.
5
SPEAKER_03
But the way you said it, it sounded like... And Aaron was so confused by this behavior.
5
SPEAKER_03
He just couldn t fathom wanting to dance.
5
SPEAKER_05
Oh, he didn t want to.
5
SPEAKER_03
God, no, he never danced.
5
SPEAKER_03
None of the boys I hung out with really danced.
5
SPEAKER_03
They were more the tough kids.
5
SPEAKER_05
I could see Aaron wanting to dance.
5
SPEAKER_03
As we got older and we would go to punk shows all the time, he would dance in there, which is a little bit different kind of dancing.
5
SPEAKER_05
Is that more like banging your head?
5
SPEAKER_03
More his speed, kind of mashing into people.
5
SPEAKER_03
Wow.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_03
Rough and tumby.
5
SPEAKER_05
I only had one date to a dance.
5
SPEAKER_05
It was my senior prom, and he was from another school.
5
SPEAKER_03
And what was his name?
5
SPEAKER_05
His name was Nithin.
5
SPEAKER_03
Nithin?
5
SPEAKER_05
Mm-hmm.
5
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_03
Shout out to Nithin.
5
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, he s doing really well.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, you hear updates?
5
SPEAKER_05
Mm-hmm.
5
SPEAKER_03
Does he own a tech company or something?
5
SPEAKER_05
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_03
He does.
5
SPEAKER_03
Perfect, perfect.
5
SPEAKER_03
All right.
5
SPEAKER_03
Well, I love you.
5
SPEAKER_03
That was so much fun.
5
SPEAKER_03
Love you.
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you want to sing a tune or something, or a theme song?
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay, great.
5
SPEAKER_02
We don t have a theme song for this new show, so here I go, go, go.
5
SPEAKER_02
We re going to ask some random questions, and with the help of our cherries, we ll get some suggestions on the fly.