0
SPEAKER_00
Good morning.
0
SPEAKER_00
Hi.
0
SPEAKER_00
How are you?
0
SPEAKER_00
I m a little sleepy.
0
SPEAKER_00
Me too.
0
SPEAKER_00
I knew it.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m so tired.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s the last time we re saving daylight.
0
SPEAKER_00
No, this is the good kind.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s the good kind, but it s over.
0
SPEAKER_00
This is the last time we re doing it in our lifetime.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, this is the last time we re going back to, like, we re keeping this.
0
SPEAKER_01
Right.
0
SPEAKER_01
Although, I think you re wrong.
0
SPEAKER_01
We voted for it.
0
SPEAKER_01
I think it starts next year.
0
SPEAKER_01
We looked it up on a fact check.
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh, no.
0
SPEAKER_01
And it has to pass, like, federally.
0
SPEAKER_01
We passed it here some years ago, and it, like, had some stipulation on it.
0
SPEAKER_01
But we were like, why hasn t it happened yet?
0
SPEAKER_01
Didn t we all vote for this?
0
SPEAKER_01
I m so confused.
0
SPEAKER_01
Then we looked it up, and really,
0
SPEAKER_01
It s like the first step of many steps.
0
SPEAKER_00
Okay, I heard something different, but I also don t remember who said it, where I was, and the context.
0
SPEAKER_00
But someone over the weekend was like, this is the last time.
0
SPEAKER_00
And then I just believed them.
0
SPEAKER_00
Okay, let me pick it up.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay, only to end in November 2024, but that won t be permanent.
0
SPEAKER_01
Time ran out for a proposal that cleared a major hurdle in Congress in 2022 to end the decades-old practice of making Americans change their clocks biannually.
0
SPEAKER_01
And a new version for the new Congress that took office the following January has been languishing in committees for a year.
0
SPEAKER_01
Under the 2022 measure, daylight savings time would have been made permanent.
0
SPEAKER_01
And if the bill was signed into law, most Americans have shifted their clocks one hour forward last March and left them that way.
0
SPEAKER_01
As it stands now, those clocks will need to be shifted forward an hour on Sunday when standard time ends and then will fall back again in November.
0
SPEAKER_01
But then that s it.
0
SPEAKER_01
No, it s about this proposal, like it hasn t passed.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like every other thing in Congress.
0
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
0
SPEAKER_01
So we re still in it for now.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_01
So we have to just embrace it because this is, I m so much happier.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yesterday at 7, it was
0
SPEAKER_01
It was light out.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I loved it.
0
SPEAKER_01
I loved it.
0
SPEAKER_01
I am very tired, but I don t think that has to do with daylight savings.
0
SPEAKER_01
I think that is so much travel and period hormones.
0
SPEAKER_00
Speaking of hours and sleep, you need an extra hour of sleep when you re on your menstrual cycle.
0
SPEAKER_00
And they just did some groundbreaking research that shows that the whole like you need eight hours a night is based on obviously male bodies.
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SPEAKER_00
and the actual number for women is nine.
0
SPEAKER_00
12 hours.
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SPEAKER_00
12 is, yeah, the preference.
0
Ideal.
0
SPEAKER_00
Nine.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s where I feel best.
0
SPEAKER_00
Me too.
0
SPEAKER_00
Nine.
0
SPEAKER_00
So you need 10 when you re on your menstrual cycle, which honestly checks out.
0
SPEAKER_00
It does check out.
0
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
0
SPEAKER_00
To be normal, not to be like great.
0
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
0
SPEAKER_00
Because we re making stuff.
0
SPEAKER_00
Our bodies are shedding.
0
SPEAKER_01
At work.
0
SPEAKER_01
Bleeding.
0
SPEAKER_00
I mean, bleeding.
0
SPEAKER_00
Bleeding.
0
SPEAKER_01
We re losing so much iron.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
0
SPEAKER_01
Your iron could also be low.
0
SPEAKER_01
It could.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s normally not like when I get it checked and I m on vitamins, but wait, okay, hold on.
0
SPEAKER_01
So I m trying to do some math because on Saturday night, we got home from Austin.
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SPEAKER_01
We ll talk about Austin.
0
SPEAKER_01
I was in bed at nine and I was fully asleep by 10 and then I woke up
0
SPEAKER_00
at, I want to say 10, but was nine.
0
SPEAKER_01
So 11, which is a lot.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s an hour more than the minimum you need.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s not funny.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s true.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s normal.
0
SPEAKER_01
What if we say like 15 hours?
0
SPEAKER_00
But 15 is only like three hours more.
0
SPEAKER_00
I mean, but it s just like a lot of things, you know, it s like when I learned about the temperature thing, that they were basing all the temperatures of all the offices based on men s body temperature.
0
SPEAKER_00
Wait, what?
0
SPEAKER_00
You don t know this?
0
SPEAKER_01
No, tell me.
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh my god.
0
SPEAKER_00
Monica!
0
SPEAKER_00
What?
0
SPEAKER_00
This felt like a peak 2017 article.
0
SPEAKER_00
No, maybe 2015.
0
SPEAKER_00
It was pre-Trump.
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SPEAKER_00
What they did is they were testing people without realizing that people were just dudes.
0
SPEAKER_00
And then they started testing women and realized that our body temperatures are, I think, 1.5 or 2 degrees lower than men.
0
SPEAKER_00
And so we need a different temperature.
0
SPEAKER_00
We need it to be warmer, but it s set to men s body temperatures.
0
SPEAKER_00
So that s why if you are cold at work, if you had, like me, needed your own
0
SPEAKER_00
Like, not only Snuggie, but my own heater, which was illegal, whatever.
0
SPEAKER_00
I would only turn it on when I was there, and I would unplug it every night.
0
SPEAKER_00
But I needed both of those things just to be regulated.
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh, my God.
0
SPEAKER_00
And so, like, our bodies are always right.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, they are.
0
SPEAKER_00
They tell us the truth.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
0
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_01
Did you ever accidentally leave the heater on?
0
SPEAKER_01
Tell me the truth.
0
SPEAKER_00
Not at work.
0
SPEAKER_00
Are you sure?
0
SPEAKER_00
I was not allowed.
0
SPEAKER_00
Whatever.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s too late.
0
SPEAKER_00
You can t arrest me.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s way too late.
0
SPEAKER_00
But I would kind of have to hide it every night.
0
SPEAKER_00
So there was a whole ritual.
0
SPEAKER_01
But you didn t ever forget?
0
SPEAKER_00
No.
0
SPEAKER_00
You were home and you were like, oh, fuck.
0
SPEAKER_00
No, no.
0
SPEAKER_00
Because those little heaters, like most people are like, don t even buy those.
0
SPEAKER_00
But I love them.
0
SPEAKER_00
I love just having like warm heat on me.
0
SPEAKER_00
I have a little fireplace heater in my room.
0
SPEAKER_01
What s that mean?
0
SPEAKER_00
It looks like a fireplace?
0
SPEAKER_00
It looks like a fireplace.
0
SPEAKER_00
Cute.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I use it.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s bad, but I use it sometimes even in the summer because I ll just get like— I just get cold and then I really need that.
0
SPEAKER_00
You don t get cold?
0
SPEAKER_00
No, I do.
0
SPEAKER_00
I run very cold.
0
SPEAKER_00
You ve never been too cold here?
0
SPEAKER_01
It gets cold in here.
0
SPEAKER_01
Dax runs hot, but I normally am wearing sweaters and stuff.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m normally okay.
0
SPEAKER_00
Right.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s been a conversation that I m always cold and he s hot.
0
SPEAKER_01
Right, right.
0
SPEAKER_00
So that, wow.
0
SPEAKER_00
And it s a thing, like even I worked at a media company where me and the CEO would constantly get, like, it was a smaller startup, so like I would go and like put up the heat and then he would go and put it down.
0
SPEAKER_00
And it sites.
0
SPEAKER_00
Silent fights.
0
SPEAKER_00
Silent fights over the, you know, and it s such a dad thing, right?
0
SPEAKER_00
Your dad sets the temperature super low, and then it s just terrible.
0
SPEAKER_01
But that feels more like, like my parents always leave it so cold in the winter and so hot in the summer.
0
SPEAKER_00
Me too.
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, me too.
0
SPEAKER_01
Why?
0
SPEAKER_01
Because money.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s a frugal thing.
0
SPEAKER_01
It is a frugal thing.
0
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s so annoying.
0
SPEAKER_01
But now they know, like now they re scared of me.
0
SPEAKER_01
So when I m home, they adjust it.
0
SPEAKER_00
Me too.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
0
SPEAKER_01
We re like tyrants.
0
SPEAKER_01
Temperature tyrants.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, I think they re more like, I don t want to put up with it.
0
SPEAKER_00
Same.
0
SPEAKER_00
When did it start?
0
SPEAKER_00
Because my dad would still really get mad.
0
SPEAKER_00
And then I think two years ago, it s like when they also realized, like, we gotta make sure she s having a good time.
0
SPEAKER_01
We gotta make sure she ll come back.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, exactly.
0
SPEAKER_01
And one time, okay, there s something about my room in my parents  house, where it s positioned or something, it s frigid in there.
0
SPEAKER_01
Like, it is so cold, and they don t know that, because they re never in there.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s like, it s a guest room.
0
SPEAKER_01
And so one time, I think someone was in there, and they were like, oh yeah, it s freezing.
0
SPEAKER_00
Sometimes I think there s a problem with me because I m worse than other women.
0
SPEAKER_00
This is absurd, but when I got to my hotel room in Austin, immediately I come in.
0
SPEAKER_00
I ve never set foot in a hotel room where I ve felt that it s not icy cold, and I set it to 80. 80!
0
SPEAKER_00
But even when I set it to 80, it s not even warm enough I think hotel rooms have a thing where like they don t really set it to 80 but 80 is the max and that s where I go I m always no matter what Anyway, it s it s
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Okay, Austin.
0
SPEAKER_01
We went to brunch as we promised.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
0
SPEAKER_01
Twice.
0
SPEAKER_01
True.
0
SPEAKER_01
Both were delicious.
0
SPEAKER_01
Laundrette.
0
SPEAKER_01
So good.
0
SPEAKER_01
That was a place we went last time, so we revisited, which was fun.
0
SPEAKER_00
We did.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s our place now.
0
SPEAKER_01
Do we say we had a P-E-N?
0
SPEAKER_01
We had a P.N.
0
SPEAKER_01
event, and if you wanna know about it, you should watch our social video.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then we went to Josephine House the next day, which was also, oh my God, so good.
0
SPEAKER_01
I was thinking about, I had like a croissant breakfast sandwich.
0
SPEAKER_01
I was thinking about it again later that day, like I wanted more.
0
SPEAKER_00
It looked good.
0
SPEAKER_00
Also, when you walk in, there were an array of pastries welcoming you.
0
SPEAKER_01
I had a Nutella morning bun.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay, I have a question.
0
SPEAKER_01
What s your protocol?
0
SPEAKER_01
Because this ranges for people across the board.
0
SPEAKER_01
If you re generally like eating healthy or you re actively trying to eat healthy, if you re on vacation, do you keep that up or do you abandon ship?
0
SPEAKER_00
I definitely abandoned chip.
0
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I had a coffee.
0
SPEAKER_00
I had a cappuccino.
0
SPEAKER_00
You had a coffee.
0
SPEAKER_00
Which I haven t done in a long time.
0
SPEAKER_00
I also drank the night before.
0
SPEAKER_00
But it was boy-related as you already told us last week.
0
SPEAKER_00
That is a protocol.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s how I have to if I m around a crush.
0
SPEAKER_00
And even I ve heard, I don t know, I was reading about this, people are getting off Ozempic for holidays because they want to like take advantage because it s kind of part of the whole thing, right?
0
SPEAKER_00
Like eating, you know... It s indulging.
0
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
0
SPEAKER_00
And it s the first thing you kind of ask people like, oh, what restaurants did you go to?
1
SPEAKER_00
And even when I think back at vacations, the first thing I told Rob was like, we went to this amazing brunch place.
1
SPEAKER_00
We had these amazing chips.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s a memory that really stays.
1
SPEAKER_01
Since memory, I m fully abandoned ship.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t even think twice.
1
SPEAKER_01
I want everything if I m on vacation or if I m in a different city.
1
SPEAKER_01
Because it s limited a dish.
1
SPEAKER_01
How many times are you going to be able to eat this food?
1
SPEAKER_00
You got to eat it while you can.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s true.
1
SPEAKER_00
And when it s especially like something that s native to
1
SPEAKER_00
that place.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like Nutella.
1
SPEAKER_00
Morning bun.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s just in Boston.
1
SPEAKER_00
I want that.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
I want it too.
1
SPEAKER_01
I want it right now.
1
SPEAKER_01
Now I m upset.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think maybe that we could find an alternative.
1
SPEAKER_01
There s no alternatives.
1
SPEAKER_01
It was so good.
1
SPEAKER_00
Do you feel guilty when you eat things that aren t unhealthy, if you re breaking a pattern?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t feel guilty, but when I get back, I m like, oh boy.
1
SPEAKER_01
It feels like a restart of being healthy.
1
SPEAKER_01
Although I don t
1
SPEAKER_01
I do that very often.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m not on a strict regimen very often.
1
SPEAKER_01
Every now and then I ll like slip into that and I can feel myself slipping in and feeling like obsessive.
1
SPEAKER_01
I try to adjust that.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like that s not healthy for me to be hyper obsessive about being perfectly clean or so healthy.
1
SPEAKER_01
So that s not my standard operation mode.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s just every now and then I can find myself slipping into that.
1
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, right now I m just like generally healthy.
1
SPEAKER_01
So then going on vacation didn t feel like such a major deal.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, we were with Dax, right?
1
SPEAKER_01
And he tries hard.
1
SPEAKER_01
Sometimes he slips on purpose, but he sticks pretty much to his diet.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he was working out.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and he works out.
1
SPEAKER_00
Which is hard.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, that s hard to keep up all of those things when you re traveling.
1
SPEAKER_00
I feel like you have such a healthy relationship with food that I don t even think I ve ever seen you try to be careful or try to be... Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s really rare.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think it s great.
1
SPEAKER_00
I ve also never seen you indulge in it, right?
1
SPEAKER_00
I feel like you re just even keeled.
1
SPEAKER_01
I can be pretty moderate with food.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t know why.
1
SPEAKER_01
I think actually... Okay, two things.
1
SPEAKER_01
One, I don t have a scarcity mentality at all with food.
1
SPEAKER_01
As you just said, I got a croissant sandwich, I got a morning bun, I got bacon.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like, oh, and we ve talked about this before, and this is controversial.
1
SPEAKER_01
I am okay wasting.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I don t order a thing and then feel like, oh my God, if I don t eat at all, I am either a bad person or I didn t have a childhood where you had to like clean plate club.
1
SPEAKER_01
I didn t have that.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I m not obsessed with finishing my food.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I think that s helpful for me because I still order what I want and I m not like,
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh god, I want three things so bad and I can t decide and what am I gonna do because I really want three things and I ll order it and then I ll have like a little bit of each thing and I ll feel satisfied.
1
SPEAKER_01
So it s because I like
1
SPEAKER_01
am willy-nilly, I think that I m actually able to be moderate in the eating practice.
1
SPEAKER_01
Does that make any sense?
1
SPEAKER_00
No, it like genuinely does.
1
SPEAKER_00
And before you came in, Rob and I were just talking about like, you re at a restaurant and the waiter brings you like an extra dessert or like, and then you re
1
SPEAKER_00
you can t eat it.
1
SPEAKER_00
You re not hungry or you re just full.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I get so much anxiety over it that I ll move the food around.
1
SPEAKER_00
I ll be like, let s put some in my purse.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
1
SPEAKER_00
So codependent.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s so weird.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I have like the opposite.
1
SPEAKER_00
I am on a, not daily basis, but weekly basis, worry about I ll be there and I won t be able to eat.
1
SPEAKER_00
Or like when I travel, for example.
1
SPEAKER_00
But it s not
1
SPEAKER_00
factual.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s definitely an anxiety about being hungry and not having access to food.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so I ll eat a lot if I have it, or I ll eat more than I need because I m like, in case I don t.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s so, even though it s rare that there s a place where you literally can t get like a, you know, a granola bar.
1
SPEAKER_00
But I get nervous about— I feel like I m on a plane, and there s like a delay, and I don t know how long it s gonna last.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m like, what if I get really— I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s like, I ll like get anxious about it.
1
SPEAKER_00
You think about it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Your brain goes there.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_01
Is that from childhood?
1
SPEAKER_01
Did you have clean plate clubs?
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, for sure.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, your parents, yeah, are against waste.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, against is not even their position.
1
SPEAKER_01
Do you think your parents will think I m a bad person if I meet them?
1
SPEAKER_00
No.
1
SPEAKER_00
No.
1
SPEAKER_01
Because what if we go to a restaurant?
1
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no, no, no, no.
1
SPEAKER_00
Look, if you were at their house, if you didn t finish your plate, no one will ever be mad.
1
SPEAKER_00
But if you throw away a big thing in front of them, they d be like, wait, why are you throwing that out?
1
SPEAKER_00
But they would never, no, no, no, no.
1
SPEAKER_00
But what about your parents wouldn t?
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, I was so picky as a kid.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was so picky.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I think for them it was a win if I just ate like some amount.
1
SPEAKER_01
Clean Play Club wasn t even on the table for them because it was just not gonna happen.
1
SPEAKER_01
And have I talked about this on here that one time, I have like this very specific memory of one time my mom made jambalaya.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh God.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I hated it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I didn t want it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I didn t like it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m sure it was like hard to make and a big deal.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I sat at that table for like three hours because she was wanting me to eat.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t even think finish it, but maybe eat like so many bites or something.
1
SPEAKER_01
And we just sat there for so long.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I hate jambalaya.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like a stare down.
1
SPEAKER_01
I hate it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Can you imagine knowing me now what it was like for her to just like have this stubborn little child?
1
SPEAKER_00
She knew she couldn t win.
1
SPEAKER_00
She tried.
1
SPEAKER_00
Did she give up?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
They wouldn t make me stay because I refused to eat meat.
1
SPEAKER_00
And that was before being a vegetarian was like an acceptable lifestyle.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so they would make me stay at the table for out.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like my mom would eventually kind of, but if my mom was out of town or working or whatever,
1
SPEAKER_00
And I think that s when I became a little bit manipulative.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was like, how do I get out of this?
1
SPEAKER_00
And so I developed like, you know, I need to get what I want.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like, I can t just tell the truth.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
It doesn t work.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so I would create all these like, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, at the beginning, I would throw some of the food under the table, but I wouldn t throw it under my seat.
1
SPEAKER_00
I d throw it under my sister s seat.
1
SPEAKER_00
If it was found, she didn t want to eat the food.
1
SPEAKER_00
I ate it, which is evil.
1
SPEAKER_01
So this is like why you re still putting stuff in your purse.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s like so unacceptable to put food, open food in your person on the floor and stuff.
1
SPEAKER_01
But I guess since you ve been doing it since you were little.
1
SPEAKER_00
We ve traced it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Traced it?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s like, it s my go-to.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s like, I have to hide the food.
1
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
1
SPEAKER_00
Wow, wow, wow.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s deep.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I was talking to this, I was, whatever, on this, not on date, but like talking to this guy.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I always like to find out like what their thing is early on.
1
SPEAKER_00
What do you mean?
1
SPEAKER_00
Like their cork?
1
SPEAKER_00
No, what s their wound?
1
SPEAKER_00
Like, what trauma?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, me too.
1
SPEAKER_00
Just because I want to know if we have compatible wounds, okay?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I get it.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I ll usually bring up mine first.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he was like, oh, I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
I guess like, he was like, I never had like really deep conversations with my parents.
1
SPEAKER_00
He kind of grew up not feeling like he could share his feelings.
1
SPEAKER_00
Wait, is this your gay boyfriend?
1
SPEAKER_00
No, no, we never even met.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was like voice notes on an app.
1
SPEAKER_00
But I would obviously refer to my gay boyfriend as my gay boyfriend.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s what I thought.
1
SPEAKER_01
But this sounds like a similar thing that the gay boyfriend said.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s true.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, interesting.
1
SPEAKER_00
This is common.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it is.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, with men.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then he s like, we talked about a lot of stuff.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like, I don t even think it was that bad.
1
SPEAKER_00
But then he goes into this story later about how every Christmas his mom would make this oyster soup.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like Feast of the Seven Fishes.
1
SPEAKER_01
What s that?
1
SPEAKER_01
What s that?
1
SPEAKER_01
That s common for, I think, Christmas Eve for Italian families.
1
SPEAKER_01
And each dish has, like, fish of some sort.
1
SPEAKER_01
I want to host it one day.
1
SPEAKER_01
I ll go and I will eat before.
1
SPEAKER_01
Eat around the fish.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay, sidebar pin, I think we should get you a tiny bit into fish.
1
SPEAKER_01
I would like to get into fish.
1
SPEAKER_01
Or like salmon, because you need the protein.
1
SPEAKER_00
I ve tried.
1
SPEAKER_00
I know.
1
SPEAKER_00
We re going to figure it out.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay, anyway, back.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so it s an oyster stew situation, like it just was slimy and gross for him as a kid.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he was like, yeah, and then every year I just would eat it.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, what?
1
SPEAKER_00
And it was like, yeah, because I knew my mom really put a lot of effort into it.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I would eat this thing that was just... But like, okay, it s one thing to eat it anyways, but that your parent knows that you don t like it.
1
SPEAKER_00
But to hide that you don t like something to your own parent, I think is like... I was like, wow, that s interesting.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s a revealing story.
1
SPEAKER_00
Because I just never... My parents knew exactly how I felt about...
1
SPEAKER_00
I was not trying to protect their feelings at all.
1
SPEAKER_00
If you re like a teenager and you re doing that, I think that s one thing.
1
SPEAKER_00
But if you re like a kid kid, you re thinking about your parents  feelings above your own.
1
SPEAKER_00
You re right.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s a problem.
1
SPEAKER_01
You shouldn t be prioritizing your parents  feelings.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
When you re a kid.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s very codependent.
1
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
1
SPEAKER_00
To fully psychoanalyze him based on one story.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think it s like, because he couldn t be honest in himself with his parents, he was like, oh, there s certain things, like, I don t know how she s going to receive them that I don t like.
1
SPEAKER_00
It might break her.
1
SPEAKER_01
She might be too fragile for this.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s rough.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so she thought he liked it, so she would make it every year, you know?
2
SPEAKER_01
Sick.
2
SPEAKER_01
Did he learn to love it?
2
SPEAKER_01
No, I don t—that s not— That didn t come up.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s his favorite dish now.
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, yeah, it s like the Jim Black—like, you re never gonna like it.
2
SPEAKER_02
Even if your taste buds like it, you just—
2
SPEAKER_02
can t like it emotionally.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think that s right.
2
SPEAKER_01
Some people say you don t like olives.
2
SPEAKER_01
You eat 10 olives.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think there s a number.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t like olives.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then you ll like it.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t like olives.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t need to.
2
SPEAKER_01
They taste so bad to me.
2
SPEAKER_02
Me too, but I don t understand because everyone who likes them says they just taste like a little salt bomb, like really salty.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I love salt.
2
SPEAKER_02
Me too.
2
SPEAKER_02
I love salty foods.
2
SPEAKER_02
I love capers, which is essentially a small olive.
2
SPEAKER_02
But there s something about it.
2
SPEAKER_02
No, olives taste like diarrhea.
2
SPEAKER_01
Ew!
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it does.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s what I imagine.
2
SPEAKER_01
Ew, have you tried it?
2
SPEAKER_01
I haven t.
2
SPEAKER_01
You ve had diarrhea?
2
SPEAKER_01
I ve had diarrhea many times, because my mom would make it every time.
2
SPEAKER_02
But no.
2
SPEAKER_02
And you don t want to hurt her feelings.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t want to hurt her feelings.
2
SPEAKER_01
But olives, there ll be one little tiny piece in the salad.
2
SPEAKER_01
The whole thing is ruined.
2
SPEAKER_01
I know.
2
SPEAKER_01
Whole thing tastes like it.
2
SPEAKER_01
I agree.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I love olive oil.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I love olive oil cake.
2
SPEAKER_01
We love that.
2
SPEAKER_01
Same.
2
SPEAKER_01
I really want olive oil cake.
2
SPEAKER_02
I ll make it.
2
SPEAKER_02
Can you eat it?
2
SPEAKER_02
Gluten-free.
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay, I ll look into it.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think there s actually some good gluten-free olive oil cakes.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s kind of one of those that s still good.
2
SPEAKER_01
So moist.
2
SPEAKER_02
We are supported by Quince.
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SPEAKER_02
Okay, my closet was chaotic.
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It had so many clothes, but then I felt like I had nothing.
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It s like, it s so much crap, but then nothing to wear.
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when you need it, which is insane.
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So the smart thing to do is a closet clean out, which we have talked about, and get rid of stuff you aren t wearing.
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Then it s like, okay, I know I need a black cashmere sweater that s gonna go with everything.
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It s gonna go with these pants and these pants and these pants, like you know the holes.
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And then you can go to Quince and get these really high quality items for an affordable price.
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We are supported by Vegamour.
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SPEAKER_02
We were just talking about our hair health.
2
SPEAKER_02
We were.
2
SPEAKER_02
At brunch.
2
SPEAKER_02
As one does.
2
SPEAKER_02
We were talking about how long my hair is.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s so pretty.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s so mermaid-like.
2
SPEAKER_02
Thank you.
2
SPEAKER_02
It is really long, and I was looking at it.
2
SPEAKER_02
I was, like, examining it the other day.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t have any split ends.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s incredible.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I mean, I m saying that shocked, but it s because of Vegapar.
2
SPEAKER_02
I use their products and it like really keeps my hair very healthy.
2
SPEAKER_02
You can do a monthly subscription of the Grow Hair Serum.
2
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You get a bottle or three bottles sent and they also sell one bottle of Grow Hair Serum every 15 seconds on their website.
2
SPEAKER_02
So it kind of speaks for itself.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
So unsurprising.
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2
SPEAKER_02
Okay, speaking of Austin, we have things to talk about.
2
SPEAKER_02
So many, actually.
2
SPEAKER_02
One, first and foremost, so we were there, and we were leaving brunch.
2
SPEAKER_02
I had like 30 minutes before we had to do our thing, and you were deciding what to do.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I was like, maybe you should get a massage.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then you were like, maybe I ll get a wax.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
So you got a wax, and then that made me think that we should talk about waxing.
2
SPEAKER_02
What do you get done?
2
SPEAKER_01
I get the whole shebang.
2
SPEAKER_01
If I m going in there, I don t actually understand why you wouldn t just get the whole thing.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because it s so painful and you re spread eagle.
2
SPEAKER_01
Why just leave a little sliver?
2
SPEAKER_02
Just take it all off.
2
SPEAKER_02
But some people don t like
2
SPEAKER_02
the feeling, they don t like the look, or they feel like it s like a baby.
2
SPEAKER_02
Right.
2
SPEAKER_02
But I also get everything.
2
SPEAKER_01
Did you ever not get everything?
2
SPEAKER_01
No.
2
SPEAKER_01
Same.
2
SPEAKER_01
Once I started, I was done.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so we re on the same page there.
2
SPEAKER_01
Thank God.
2
SPEAKER_01
There was a really funny poster in the waxing place.
2
SPEAKER_01
I get the most interesting information of anyone I ve ever talked to from people who are waxing me.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s fascinating.
2
SPEAKER_01
So first of all, okay, there was a poster and it said, wait,
2
SPEAKER_01
Don t tell her about me wasting food.
2
SPEAKER_01
I won t, I promise.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I also know she ll love you anyways.
2
SPEAKER_01
Wait, I took a photo of it.
2
SPEAKER_01
I want to read it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so there s a photo of the back of a man drawn, and it says, yes, manscraping is a thing.
2
SPEAKER_01
Manscaping, you mean?
2
SPEAKER_01
What did I say?
2
SPEAKER_01
Scraping.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
2
SPEAKER_00
Speaking of manscaping.
2
SPEAKER_00
Hi, you.
2
SPEAKER_00
I didn t think you would have these.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh yeah, we got them.
2
SPEAKER_02
We got them good.
2
SPEAKER_00
Hi.
2
SPEAKER_00
Fresh from South Park?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, we re talking about manscaping.
2
SPEAKER_02
Wow, that was a sim ding ding ding.
2
SPEAKER_01
Just as you walked in.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Do you need the male perspective?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, if you d like.
2
SPEAKER_02
We ll get closer.
2
SPEAKER_00
Get a little closer.
2
SPEAKER_02
Do you manscape?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
And do you do the full thing?
2
SPEAKER_00
I shave my testicle sack, my scrotum, and then I keep.
2
SPEAKER_00
the bush at a trim-down level.
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like a number two on the clippers.
2
SPEAKER_02
And would you ever get it waxed?
2
SPEAKER_00
No.
2
SPEAKER_02
Because you re too scared it would hurt so bad?
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, just- Too thin?
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t wear a tiny bathing suit, and I don t even know that Kristen cares.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t even know if she knows I do that or even cares.
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, is it for her or is it for you?
2
SPEAKER_00
It s for me, I ll give you, too much information.
2
SPEAKER_00
So if I don t trim down the top portion, sometimes when I m like buttoning my pants or I don t want to, you know, I don t want to have an entanglement.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
And like zipping up.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and why do I do my testicles?
2
SPEAKER_00
I just think it s like, testicle hair is just not that gorgeous.
2
SPEAKER_00
It looks a little sparse and scraggly.
2
SPEAKER_00
I feel like also it would trap smells.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, sure.
2
SPEAKER_00
I just feel cleaner and better about myself if things are shorn.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I have a little more of a spring in my stuff.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m a little shorn.
2
SPEAKER_00
Is that off-putting to you gals?
2
SPEAKER_00
Is it does it trend to Metro or?
2
SPEAKER_02
Overly no doesn t bother me.
2
SPEAKER_02
No, I think people should do whatever they want I think a big hairy set of balls in the right situation might also seem really attractive Yeah, I guess it s like women ask men all the time.
2
SPEAKER_02
Like what s your preference?
2
SPEAKER_02
What s your preference?
2
SPEAKER_02
I probably don t have a preference as long as I
2
SPEAKER_00
They have a spring in their stuff?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, as long as they have self-esteem, then it s fine with me.
2
SPEAKER_02
But I am a little nervous for you, because that s a lot.
2
SPEAKER_00
You re afraid of cutting?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yes, that s a lot of moving around of stuff and thin skin.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna be honest with you, I m constantly shocked that wrinkly, stretchy sack can be shaved, and I never, ever have a cut.
2
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_00
However- I think that bodes well to razor technology, disposable razor technology with the four and five blades and the little- Yeah, Venus, shout out.
2
SPEAKER_02
I hope they sponsor us.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think that s why it s come a long way in the head pivots, and I think if I were in the 80s with a single blade Bic that didn t move, I probably wouldn t do it.
2
SPEAKER_00
But again, I agree with you, I have a routine, it s only in the shower, lots of suds, and I m just zip, zip, zip, zip, zip, zip, and then I m like, oh yeah, no nicks, no nothing, and it s smooth like I had shaved my face.
2
SPEAKER_02
Would you ever consider getting it lasered?
2
SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
2
SPEAKER_00
If you said, down in the gym right now, there s a laser petition and they re ready to go, sure.
2
SPEAKER_00
But I would not make an effort to drive somewhere and then be in public, splayed out with a stranger, zapping, what I would imagine hours and hours of zapping.
2
SPEAKER_01
Right, lots of zaps.
2
SPEAKER_00
Testicles.
2
SPEAKER_01
Did you start doing it as the shaving technology got better?
2
SPEAKER_01
Since when have men been doing this?
2
SPEAKER_00
Well look, what also happens is you get older as a man, you just get hairier and hairier and I fucking hate it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Really?
2
SPEAKER_00
I hate it because it s not me.
2
SPEAKER_00
I never had any hair on my chest.
2
SPEAKER_00
Not that that s better or worse, just that s who I was and am.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s my identity.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t have hair on my shoulders.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was looking in the mirror in Austin and I was like, I have a fucking hair growing out of my scar from my surgery.
2
SPEAKER_00
And you know, ultimately the grandpas will get hair cascading out of the ears.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I don t know why it just keeps going up and up.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I think I just have a deeper anger towards hair in general now than I ever did.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I imagine, yeah, in my 20s, it was just whatever God gave me.
3
SPEAKER_02
You d think the opposite though, because your hair dies.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s why it turns gray.
3
SPEAKER_02
So it s weird that it...
3
SPEAKER_02
is growing.
3
SPEAKER_02
But you re right, it s growing out of their ears and stuff.
3
SPEAKER_02
But women, I don t think do.
3
SPEAKER_02
I think it like fins out, it like stops.
3
SPEAKER_00
What about facial hair on women?
3
SPEAKER_00
I feel like I see a lot more grannies with a light beard than I do.
3
SPEAKER_02
I think there s a hormonal thing that happens for women.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, after menopause.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_02
But do you think
3
SPEAKER_02
maybe they re just, they don t care to groom it anymore.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, I think there s like so many variables, right?
3
SPEAKER_00
A, they might not care to groom it.
3
SPEAKER_00
They re not trying to impress on it.
3
SPEAKER_00
B, their eyesight might not be what it was.
3
SPEAKER_00
C, less time in front of the mirror.
3
SPEAKER_00
D, post-menopausal hormone shift.
3
SPEAKER_00
E, there may be more anemic as they get older and the body knows to make them warmer and get more insulation.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, there could be a biological component.
3
SPEAKER_02
Lots of options.
3
SPEAKER_00
All right.
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, thanks for weighing in on manscaping.
3
SPEAKER_00
Hope I didn t lose anyone or turn anyone off by any of the methods I m using.
3
SPEAKER_02
You know, all you can be is honest.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
All right.
3
SPEAKER_00
Love you guys.
3
SPEAKER_02
Bye.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_02
So, but you were reading this, this.
3
SPEAKER_02
That was fascinating.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes, I was reading the poster.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then I was like, because I m always interested in like, what s going on with men and the trends?
3
SPEAKER_01
Because she told me more men are coming in.
3
SPEAKER_01
And sorry, I didn t even finish reading the poster.
3
SPEAKER_01
It said, yes, manscaping is a thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
Book your partner s appointment today.
3
SPEAKER_01
So clearly they re trying to get women to it, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, God.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, they re trying to make money, right?
3
SPEAKER_02
That would be so uncomfortable.
3
SPEAKER_02
If you booked an appointment for your boyfriend or husband or partner, and then you went home and you re like, guess what?
3
SPEAKER_02
I have a surprise for you.
3
SPEAKER_02
I booked you an appointment at my waxing studio.
3
SPEAKER_01
They d get offended.
3
SPEAKER_01
What s crazy is that she said also the reverse happens, where men book appointments for their girlfriends.
3
SPEAKER_01
No.
3
SPEAKER_01
No.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s unacceptable.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think that never should happen ever.
3
Ever.
3
SPEAKER_02
That is so bad.
3
SPEAKER_01
Unless I ask you to take it off my plate.
3
SPEAKER_01
Right.
3
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
3
SPEAKER_01
But it has to be directed by the woman.
3
SPEAKER_01
And what was really funny is she said that men were far more likely to stop the treatment in the middle of it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I m not shocked.
3
SPEAKER_02
Because it s too painful.
3
SPEAKER_01
It fucking hurts.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s like hell.
3
SPEAKER_01
The first time I made my friend come in with me, because I was like 18 or something, and she had to hold my cheeks open.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, because I physically couldn t listen to what the waxing lady was even telling me.
3
SPEAKER_02
Wait, wait, stop.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Hold on.
3
SPEAKER_01
Your friend had to hold your butt cheeks?
3
SPEAKER_01
No, no, those cheeks, my butt cheeks.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know when you like go on your stomach at the end?
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, depending on how they do it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
You have to kind of like spread them wide, and my friend had to like...
3
SPEAKER_01
No, and I screamed so much uncontrollably.
3
SPEAKER_01
And there was men literally getting their haircuts.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was like in one of these cheap places in Montreal.
3
SPEAKER_01
My friend and I walked out and like all these people.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, this is, oh my God.
3
SPEAKER_01
I thought I was dying.
3
SPEAKER_01
Do you remember the first time?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I do remember the first time.
3
SPEAKER_01
I didn t know that pain like this was possible.
3
SPEAKER_01
You think it s gonna rip off.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, or you don t know, maybe it did.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like you don t know until after and you re like looking at it and you re like, oh wow, all the skin s still there, but I m shocked.
3
SPEAKER_02
Because it just feels like they re just ripping it completely.
3
SPEAKER_02
Every, literally every time I go, I think, why haven t I lasered yet?
3
SPEAKER_01
Me too.
3
SPEAKER_01
Why?
3
SPEAKER_01
But we know why.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because I asked her about it and I got confirmation.
3
SPEAKER_01
You did.
3
SPEAKER_01
That if you haven t had kids yet, it s better to wait.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because I asked her, I was like, do you laser?
3
SPEAKER_01
She was like in her early thirties.
3
SPEAKER_01
And she was like, no, no, I want to wait.
3
SPEAKER_01
And like, that s, I recommend.
3
SPEAKER_01
So it s not, it s not nuts.
3
SPEAKER_02
So where are inclinations right?
3
SPEAKER_02
It s scary to put a laser.
3
SPEAKER_02
That close.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
To your reproductive organs.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_02
So that s waxing.
3
SPEAKER_02
Now.
3
SPEAKER_02
You have been waiting to tell me, because we were supposed to talk about this at brunch, but you said you wanted to wait till the podcast.
3
SPEAKER_02
You had some plane events.
3
SPEAKER_01
I had a plane, yes.
3
SPEAKER_01
I had a major plane event, and I didn t want to tell you.
3
SPEAKER_01
So on my way to Austin,
3
SPEAKER_01
I am at the airport.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know about you, but I look at people who are like organized at airports.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m like all over the place.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m late.
3
SPEAKER_01
I have literally four minutes before they closed because there was just a lot of traffic.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then I m also realizing like, oh, I have to take my medication and it s in my
3
SPEAKER_01
carry on, so I have to like take it out.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so I put my phone next to me and I m fumbling around taking my medication out.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then I check my luggage on time and then I walk away from the checking and I m like, can t find my phone.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, okay, don t panic.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s definitely somewhere.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m like looking and I m like, it s definitely not.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God, this is stressful.
3
SPEAKER_01
And my flight is leaving in 40 minutes or whatever.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m like, okay, stay calm.
3
SPEAKER_01
Go back to where you went when you were moving your stuff around and moving the medication like that, you probably just left it there.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then I go and it was this outdoor check-in and the guy was like, I was like, did you find a phone?
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, did you?
3
SPEAKER_01
And he s like, no, if I d found it, I would have returned it already.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then I m like, okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
So then I m starting to like panic, really panic.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so I go to the Delta ladies, like your favorite place.
3
SPEAKER_02
Grab a martini.
3
SPEAKER_02
Look for a boyfriend.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then I, so as the Delta woman, I m like,
3
SPEAKER_01
I have lost my phone.
3
SPEAKER_01
And she was like, well, there s a lost and found there.
3
SPEAKER_01
But then she also was like, do you have the Find My Phone app on your, do you still have your computer?
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, oh yeah, okay, great, I ll do that.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so then I like set up my laptop, I m like connecting to the Wi-Fi.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then I m seeing my phone moving around.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, and I, because I don t know the layout of the,
3
SPEAKER_01
I go back to the woman and I m like, where s this?
3
SPEAKER_01
And she was like, oh, that s like, it was all like all the restaurants and stuff like that.
3
SPEAKER_01
And they were clearly like at the gate and moving around with my phone.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so then she goes, go to the police there and tell them someone has my phone and they re moving with it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I m freaking out.
3
SPEAKER_01
Then I still have access to texts on my laptop.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so Simone had been texting with me.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so I m like, can you call my phone?
3
SPEAKER_01
And then she s like, it s not like, it s not even ringing.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, this person.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like they ve stolen my phone.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so then I m like at the police station or whatever.
3
SPEAKER_01
There is no police.
3
SPEAKER_01
No one is there.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I m just waiting and waiting and minutes go by but it feels like hours.
3
SPEAKER_01
I email my bank because also all my credit cards were on my phone.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes, in all of them.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so then I m canceling my credit cards.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m talking to my assistant.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m like, can you cancel this card?
3
SPEAKER_01
And then I m also like, I m going to South By.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m not gonna have a phone.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m not gonna have any credit cards.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I m just definitely having a horrible day.
3
SPEAKER_01
I go through TSA and then I m like, okay, I m going to try and find these people because I can, again, still see that they re where they are.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so then I m walking and they re at my gate.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so I go to my gate.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m like walking around with my laptop.
3
SPEAKER_01
You can make a sound.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, dinging.
3
SPEAKER_01
Ding, ding.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so I m doing the sound and I m like looking at people so suspiciously, like everyone s like, what?
3
SPEAKER_01
And I m not hearing the ding.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, I can t hear the ding.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then, as I m sitting there at my gate, totally defeated and dinging, I see my nemesis standing at my gate, who s gonna be on my flight.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, this is like a friend.
3
SPEAKER_01
Wait, you have a nemesis?
3
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, of course she s here.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, she s probably going to South By.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I don t even have a phone I can look at.
3
SPEAKER_01
At this point, it s just so sweaty and crazy.
3
SPEAKER_01
I get on my flight.
3
SPEAKER_01
I ll just have to buy a new phone when I get to Austin and use Venmo or borrow money from
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God, but how are you gonna get to the, I guess you get in a cab or something?
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, everything was like up in the air.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like I was like, I don t even know how I m gonna, you know, and so then I land.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God, you do this whole flight without the phone.
3
SPEAKER_01
I do this whole flight without my phone.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m reading Charles Duhigg s book.
3
SPEAKER_01
Thank you, Charles, and your episode was so interesting.
3
SPEAKER_01
I have the book and so I read the book.
3
SPEAKER_01
I just had kind of accepted my, and I was in a middle seat too, which,
3
SPEAKER_01
It was just one of those.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so then I land, I grab my check luggage, and I stole my own phone.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, my phone was in my check luggage the entire time.
3
SPEAKER_01
And that s why I was moving from terminal to terminal.
3
SPEAKER_01
Liz, stop.
3
SPEAKER_01
Stop.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh my god.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh my god.
3
SPEAKER_02
No.
3
SPEAKER_02
For nothing.
3
SPEAKER_01
And now none of my credit cards work.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I m going to get them all, you know, reset.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh, oh my God.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s like one of those weird, because you re so grateful actually.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_02
But also you feel like an idiot.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
You stole your own phone.
3
SPEAKER_02
I stole my own phone.
3
SPEAKER_02
You re tracking your bag.
3
SPEAKER_02
Your bag.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s moving from terminal to terminal.
3
SPEAKER_02
Somebody definitely stole.
3
SPEAKER_02
They re at my gate.
3
SPEAKER_02
Did you think maybe your nemesis stole it?
3
SPEAKER_01
Did you have that thought?
3
SPEAKER_01
It didn t go through my mind at that point.
3
SPEAKER_01
It just was like, there was so much happening that I was just...
4
SPEAKER_01
and trying to just avoid one more.
4
SPEAKER_01
How did you find— Do you open— Oh, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
And by the way, my nemesis wasn t on my flight.
4
SPEAKER_01
It was someone that looked exactly like her, but— Liz!
4
SPEAKER_01
But— Wait.
4
SPEAKER_01
She s kind of a known person in her field.
4
SPEAKER_01
And there was a friend of mine that was on the flight.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was telling her the story, not knowing that she would know who that is.
4
SPEAKER_01
And she was like, oh, I know who you re talking about.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I thought that was her, too.
4
SPEAKER_01
There was a person, when I m telling you, not even double, like same clothes, same style, and like a very distinct body type and ethnicity, like everything.
4
SPEAKER_00
Really?
4
SPEAKER_01
It was insane.
4
SPEAKER_01
How do you know it wasn t her?
4
SPEAKER_01
Because when we were getting off the flight, she was so close to me, which again, I was like, she s gonna come and talk to me.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then I was like, no, that s not,
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, from the side, I could— She also had a mask.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then once I saw, like, her eye profile, I was like, oh no, that s— But it was the same person.
4
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, maybe that was a rip in the space-time continuum.
4
SPEAKER_01
Maybe it was.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so how do you know you opened your luggage as soon as you got—
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, I was texting with my other friendly Ron from my computer.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think I was trying to get people to help me, right?
4
SPEAKER_01
I was like, what do you do?
4
SPEAKER_01
Is there another program I don t know about?
4
SPEAKER_01
And so I text him, I can t find my phone and it s moving from terminal to terminal.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then he was like, Regina, stop.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s so weird, it says it s on my flight, like I can t, but there s no dings.
4
SPEAKER_01
But okay, can I say something that is important if this ever happens to anybody?
4
SPEAKER_01
The map is a little off, so it really showed that they were literally at P.F.
4
SPEAKER_01
Chang s or whatever.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, it showed that they were, like, having a drink.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, it didn t show that they were outside, which is probably where my luggage actually was.
4
SPEAKER_01
So sometimes it can be a little off.
4
SPEAKER_01
But then the dead giveaway was, like, it ll show you the path that the person took.
4
SPEAKER_01
It didn t show that they went from the inside.
4
SPEAKER_01
It showed that they went from the outside.
4
SPEAKER_01
So that should have been an indicator.
4
SPEAKER_01
You weren t thinking like,
4
SPEAKER_01
Couldn t it have been underground?
4
SPEAKER_01
I would imagine.
4
SPEAKER_00
Maybe.
4
SPEAKER_01
Often there are like tunnels and stuff that they move the luggage through.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s probably right.
4
SPEAKER_01
So it was under the PFJs or whatever.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, probably.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I see.
4
SPEAKER_01
Anyway.
4
SPEAKER_01
Wait a minute.
4
SPEAKER_01
So, okay, wait.
4
SPEAKER_01
What did he say to do?
4
SPEAKER_01
He just said, it might be in your checked luggage.
4
SPEAKER_01
Regina does that all the time.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I ve never done anything like that.
4
SPEAKER_01
How did that even happen?
4
SPEAKER_01
So I, now looking back, I think that actually it was smart because I didn t put my phone to the side.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think I was like, oh, don t put it down to the side because you might forget it or someone will take it.
4
SPEAKER_01
I put it in with my meds.
4
SPEAKER_01
I like put it in the bag and then took out the meds and then just closed the bag.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think that s what happened.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
I could see that.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Do you have a purse?
4
SPEAKER_01
I do.
4
SPEAKER_01
You ve lost your phone before.
4
SPEAKER_01
No.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I mean in my house all the time.
4
SPEAKER_00
But not in the world?
4
SPEAKER_00
But have I lost it in the world?
4
SPEAKER_00
I m sure I have.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, my phone was stolen in London.
4
SPEAKER_00
Right.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t think I ve lost it, lost it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Right.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I ve definitely had to ding it and it s like in my car.
4
SPEAKER_00
Right.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like that ll happen.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay, in your car.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s just I have to be, my dad would say this all the time like when I was young, because when I was young it was a nightmare.
4
SPEAKER_01
You used to lose things all the time?
4
SPEAKER_01
Every bus pass, every wallet, every key.
4
SPEAKER_01
Once I just left my purse literally like I was taking the subway and I just put my purse down on a bench and I walked in and took the subway without my purse.
4
SPEAKER_01
Liz!
4
SPEAKER_01
ADHD, everyone has it now, but I really didn t.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it sounds like you had it pre-everyone having it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and my dad would be like, you have to create mental checklists.
4
SPEAKER_01
Every time you go from one place to the other, you have to say, do I have my keys?
4
SPEAKER_01
My, you know, before then we didn t have phones, but like, and that s what I need to do.
4
SPEAKER_01
I should have like, before moving from one, from the, you know, baggage thing location, or again, never put it in my luggage ever again.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, that was,
4
SPEAKER_00
You know what s funny is everyone s brains are so different.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like everyone loses stuff and everyone can be absent minded and feel rushed and frazzled and shit happens all the time.
4
SPEAKER_00
But the idea that I would need a mental checklist, like I would need to tell myself to do it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m automatically doing that all the time.
4
SPEAKER_00
Too much.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s like every five minutes I m doing the checklist.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like double-checking and triple-checking and to the other extreme, right?
4
SPEAKER_00
Where it s like, do I have my boarding pass?
4
SPEAKER_00
Five minutes later, do I still have my boarding pass?
4
SPEAKER_00
Do I still have it?
4
SPEAKER_00
So it s so funny.
4
SPEAKER_01
People are just so different.
4
SPEAKER_01
I would love if I could be inside your brain.
4
SPEAKER_00
Me too.
4
SPEAKER_00
For one day if we could swap, that would be so interesting.
4
SPEAKER_01
It would be fun.
4
SPEAKER_01
It would be such a cool device.
4
SPEAKER_00
I would swim.
4
SPEAKER_01
You would swim?
4
SPEAKER_01
And I would like eat three bites of a donut and then leave it there.
4
SPEAKER_01
But wouldn t that be like such a great tool to also have empathy?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, just like, and having ADHD, again, everyone has it now, so it s fine.
4
SPEAKER_01
And sorry, not to diminish anyone who has it, but yeah, it can impact your relationships basically, right?
4
SPEAKER_01
Like I see it with my parents.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like my mom has
4
SPEAKER_01
very advanced ADHD where, I mean, the tomato juice story, right?
4
SPEAKER_00
That will happen.
4
SPEAKER_01
Booby traps.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s what my dad, my dad calls our house a house full of booby traps.
4
SPEAKER_01
They re just waiting for him to like, you know, walk into.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s the biggest issue in their relationship.
4
SPEAKER_01
That would drive me.
4
SPEAKER_00
Of course.
4
SPEAKER_01
Absolutely nuts.
4
SPEAKER_01
Of course.
4
SPEAKER_01
What is your mom s sign?
4
SPEAKER_01
She s Pisces too.
4
SPEAKER_00
She is.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
She s such a Pisces.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh my gosh, it s also almost your birthday.
4
SPEAKER_01
I know.
4
SPEAKER_01
Are you excited?
4
SPEAKER_01
I am, I am.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m excited for your party.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m excited too.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s my first day party.
4
SPEAKER_01
That ll be fun.
4
SPEAKER_01
I prefer a day party.
4
SPEAKER_01
Me too.
4
SPEAKER_01
I actually, I was so inspired by you doing a day party.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
I really liked your party and I was like, this is great.
4
SPEAKER_00
Day parties feel mature.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, tell me more.
4
SPEAKER_00
Night parties feel young and day parties feel mature because you can still have like tons of fun.
4
SPEAKER_00
You can drink, you can do whatever, but then you re like home at a reasonable hour and it just feels adult.
4
SPEAKER_00
You can sleep, you can get your 10 to 15 hours and you re not like completely dead the next day.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s evolved.
4
SPEAKER_00
35 and over, it s day parties.
4
SPEAKER_01
I love it, because I had, my 36 was like a rager, and I was like, I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_01
You grew out of it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think I did.
4
SPEAKER_00
Support for zinc comes from Zocdoc.
4
SPEAKER_00
I feel like there s a cold going around.
4
SPEAKER_00
I know a few people that have it and I feel like I m fighting it, but I can feel like a teeny tiny... I was feeling that over the weekend too.
4
SPEAKER_00
I took a lot of zinc.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, trying to like prevent it.
4
SPEAKER_00
But when this comes to a head, which it will,
4
SPEAKER_00
ZocDoc is amazing because we don t have to go anywhere.
4
SPEAKER_01
ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare highly rated in network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online.
4
SPEAKER_00
You cut out like so much of the process of booking and waiting on hold and yes, having a doctor you don t like, no reviews, you don t know.
4
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, it s just, it s so nice.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it s quick, like the typical wait time to see a doctor booked on ZocDoc is between 24 and 72 hours.
4
SPEAKER_01
I ve booked appointment was like for literally that day.
4
SPEAKER_00
Same day, I know.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s really up to date with their schedules.
4
SPEAKER_00
So go to ZocDoc.com slash synced and download the ZocDoc app for free.
4
SPEAKER_00
Then find and book a top rated doctor today.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash synced.
4
SPEAKER_00
ZocDoc.com slash synced.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay, well, that was a great update.
4
SPEAKER_00
It was a great plan event.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m really glad you had it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay, can I ask you maybe to not keep your credit cards in your phone?
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I understand the convenience, or do you have multiple credit cards?
4
SPEAKER_00
Keep one out.
4
SPEAKER_00
You have to.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I used to, and I need to go back to that.
4
SPEAKER_01
because one of them I only need from the lounge, but because I m in the lounge so often.
4
SPEAKER_01
No, but honestly it was just like annoying every time.
4
SPEAKER_01
Or sometimes I would forget it at home.
4
SPEAKER_01
So that s why I like started keeping it with my phone.
4
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, I need to keep one extra like safety credit card just in your purse.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like just have it in your purse always.
4
SPEAKER_00
That one doesn t move.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
Now let s do some questions.
4
SPEAKER_00
We re going to do some questions.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, and we tease some of these.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
My husband baby talks and I really don t like it.
4
SPEAKER_00
This is from Eliza.
4
SPEAKER_00
Hi Monica and Liz, love the show.
4
SPEAKER_00
I have a question about baby talk and relationships.
4
SPEAKER_00
My husband and I have been together for three years and more recently I have begun to find when he speaks in baby talk annoying and a huge turnoff.
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SPEAKER_00
I ve told him before that I do not like it, but sometimes it seems like he doesn t know he s even doing it because after he s like, oh, was I?
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SPEAKER_00
I can t tell if it s some kind of defense mechanism or just something some people tend to do more of, but is this a deal breaker?
4
SPEAKER_00
I can t tell.
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SPEAKER_00
Help.
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SPEAKER_00
No, it s not a deal breaker, I don t think.
4
SPEAKER_00
Your husband, you think she should get a divorce?
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SPEAKER_00
I don t think she should get a divorce over baby talk, necessarily, but I think probably most married
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SPEAKER_01
people and anyone in any kind of relationship can relate to.
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SPEAKER_01
Once something annoys you, it gets ramped up to 100 and you can t unsee it, unhear it.
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SPEAKER_01
It can get out of control how bad it feels.
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SPEAKER_01
But don t you think that s like on her to figure out?
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SPEAKER_01
I mean, I think she can say, it makes me feel.
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SPEAKER_01
Make it about you.
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SPEAKER_01
Like, it makes me feel like a baby or something or not equal.
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SPEAKER_01
Right.
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SPEAKER_01
Even if that s not true, that s just how you should present it.
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SPEAKER_00
Right.
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SPEAKER_00
Creating a wider political...
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SPEAKER_00
reason.
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SPEAKER_00
I like that.
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SPEAKER_01
Well, because if you say, I don t like that you re doing this, or I don t like this tick of yours, that s just going to make him upset.
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SPEAKER_01
So you have to make it about you and you can say that.
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SPEAKER_01
And then he will probably slip up because people do, they have these ticks and then they don t know they re doing it.
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SPEAKER_01
But I think you have to sit with, that s something he does.
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SPEAKER_01
I m going to try to minimize it as much as possible, but it is going to come up and I have to figure out anger tools.
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SPEAKER_00
Or amp it up.
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SPEAKER_00
If he starts talking in baby talk, just go like, do it like really caricature.
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SPEAKER_00
No, you do it like, but like caricature it.
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SPEAKER_00
No, because then he ll notice that he s doing it, and then it s still a joke.
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SPEAKER_00
You are very passive-aggressive.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t think that s gonna work.
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SPEAKER_01
What if he s then like, oh, it s cute.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh, if he likes it.
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SPEAKER_01
And you can t say, I don t like it, if then you do it.
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SPEAKER_01
Like you have to be direct.
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SPEAKER_01
You re saying just mock him?
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SPEAKER_00
No, not mock him, but be like— Because I don t think he s realizing what it sounds like, and so maybe he just needs to hear what it sounds like.
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SPEAKER_00
But he obviously doesn t mind it.
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SPEAKER_01
Also, this is a problem.
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SPEAKER_01
It s been so many years, and this, I think, is common, where you don t hear— Something doesn t start bothering you until it s deep in, and then they ll be like, I ve always done this.
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SPEAKER_00
We always talk like this.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, like what s—
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SPEAKER_01
What s going on?
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SPEAKER_00
You don t like me anymore.
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SPEAKER_00
You re not attracted to me.
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SPEAKER_00
It gets deep.
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SPEAKER_00
Right.
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SPEAKER_00
Even though it s a small thing, it takes on a meaning for the other person.
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SPEAKER_01
Which is why I think just present it like, this is starting to bother me, and I know it s my issue.
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SPEAKER_01
I feel like this when that happens.
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SPEAKER_01
I m wondering if we can not do that anymore.
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SPEAKER_01
I like that.
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SPEAKER_01
Because then, if he doesn t, you can be like, ugh.
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SPEAKER_01
And then he ll be like, oh, I did it.
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SPEAKER_01
He ll start to dial it back if he knows he s not supposed to do it.
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SPEAKER_01
But I definitely don t think you should get divorced over it.
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SPEAKER_00
Do you think she should get divorced over it?
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SPEAKER_00
That s insane.
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SPEAKER_00
To your point, sometimes in relationships, I feel like there s the big values and the big things that are important, but those small things can add up and grow in like, I dated someone who just the way he said water, like he said water.
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SPEAKER_00
Water.
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SPEAKER_00
He would say water.
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SPEAKER_00
And I didn t break up with him because of that, but it was a main— Okay, what is— You just didn t like the sound of it?
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SPEAKER_01
What bothered you about— If you really get deep into it, what was upsetting?
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SPEAKER_01
Because we all say words differently.
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SPEAKER_01
I mean, you do.
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SPEAKER_01
You say a lot of words weird.
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SPEAKER_01
I mean that in a kind way, like we re all doing that.
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SPEAKER_01
So what about that?
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SPEAKER_00
But see, like you don t, well maybe it is, but it s not annoying to you when I say things the wrong way.
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SPEAKER_00
It s not.
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SPEAKER_00
But if it did, it would be because there s a bigger thing here.
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SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
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SPEAKER_01
So that s what I m asking.
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SPEAKER_01
What s the bigger thing?
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SPEAKER_01
Is it for you because you also do it?
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SPEAKER_01
Is it that you feel embarrassed for them?
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SPEAKER_00
I think there was a little bit of that, but no, it was I, you re annoying.
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SPEAKER_00
What we find annoying is not changeable.
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SPEAKER_00
Like it s, well, but it is though.
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SPEAKER_01
I think you have to figure out what is happening that I m so annoyed.
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SPEAKER_01
Sure.
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SPEAKER_01
Because it s exactly what you just said.
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SPEAKER_01
I m not annoyed by that.
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SPEAKER_01
So it s not a universal.
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SPEAKER_01
Annoyances are not universal, they re specific.
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SPEAKER_00
So there s a reason.
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SPEAKER_00
Things that you think are cute that I do, other people are like, that s so annoying.
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SPEAKER_00
And so it s all in the eye of the beholder.
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SPEAKER_00
It is, it is.
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SPEAKER_01
But if you want to make your marriage work, like she s already in our marriage.
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SPEAKER_01
And remember that everyone has annoying things.
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SPEAKER_00
It s true.
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SPEAKER_01
Somebody else is going to have another annoying thing.
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SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
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SPEAKER_00
But if it s a symptom of a bigger thing, again, I m just trying to find the note behind the note.
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SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
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SPEAKER_00
Me too.
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SPEAKER_00
Is it just the baby talk or is it symptomatic of a wider difference between the both of you?
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SPEAKER_00
And if it s not, then yeah, it ll be fine.
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SPEAKER_00
But if it is,
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SPEAKER_00
Divorce.
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SPEAKER_00
Maybe divorce.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
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SPEAKER_00
No, no, no, no, no, no.
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SPEAKER_00
Or again, what you re saying, which is think about why it s annoying to you.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, figure that out.
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SPEAKER_01
Cause that might cure it for one, or then you ll be able to communicate it better.
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SPEAKER_01
First of all, personally, I hate being annoyed.
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SPEAKER_01
I m annoyed all the time.
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SPEAKER_01
I m such a quick trigger for annoyance.
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SPEAKER_01
And I always end up feeling like, what s wrong with me?
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SPEAKER_01
Like, why can t I just fucking be fine with it?
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SPEAKER_01
No one else is doing this.
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SPEAKER_01
Why am I so critical?
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SPEAKER_01
So that s for me to figure out, not other people.
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SPEAKER_00
That s true.
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SPEAKER_01
That s true.
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SPEAKER_01
Okay.
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SPEAKER_01
Well, anyway, that was great.
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SPEAKER_01
That was a good question.
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SPEAKER_01
Okay.
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SPEAKER_01
Here s a doozy.
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SPEAKER_01
25-year-old female hasn t orgasmed yet.
5
SPEAKER_01
This is from Anonymous.
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SPEAKER_01
Hi, Liz and Monica.
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SPEAKER_01
I m a 25-year-old female, and I ve never experienced an orgasm.
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SPEAKER_01
I ve been sexually active since I was 15, but never really prioritized my pleasure in my heterosexual relationships.
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SPEAKER_01
I m an anxious person and constant overthinker and find myself in my head most of the time when I m having sex.
5
SPEAKER_01
When I was younger, I feel like I would try to act like what I see in movies, but I ve been able to be more authentic in the moment with my fiance.
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SPEAKER_01
That s a great question.
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SPEAKER_01
I think a lot of people are in this position.
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SPEAKER_01
One million percent.
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SPEAKER_01
One, I m going to recommend
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SPEAKER_01
Vanessa Maran, follow her.
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SPEAKER_01
She does great, great work in this space.
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SPEAKER_01
And she knows so much more about it than we do.
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SPEAKER_01
So, I mean, it s her life.
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SPEAKER_01
So I would look into her and like read some of her stuff, because I think she has tips and tricks.
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SPEAKER_01
And she would probably say, it s not that you can t have an orgasm.
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SPEAKER_01
It s the way in which, you know, you re engaging in this relationship or also are you masturbating?
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SPEAKER_01
Like you need to be doing that.
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SPEAKER_01
Don t rely on the sex with your fiancé to be the way you get pleasure.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Because that might never happen.
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SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
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SPEAKER_00
I mean, I ve never had an orgasm just with sex.
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SPEAKER_00
Right.
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SPEAKER_00
That s really common.
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SPEAKER_00
Most women don t.
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SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
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SPEAKER_00
And they say it s the golden trio, right?
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SPEAKER_00
Like, orgasm is most likely to happen with women if you have three things, which is vaginal penetration, clitoral stimulation, and deep kissing.
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SPEAKER_00
is one of them too.
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SPEAKER_00
And those three things combined, right?
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SPEAKER_00
So it s very different from men, right?
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SPEAKER_01
Vanessa on our episode said a really, you know, it seems obvious thing, but is not.
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SPEAKER_01
Our clitoris is the equivalent to the penis.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
So intercourse is stimulating their clitoris.
5
SPEAKER_01
which is why it always works for them.
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SPEAKER_01
So if we re ignoring our version of that, it s highly unlikely that we re gonna orgasm.
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SPEAKER_01
So that has to get stimulated.
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SPEAKER_01
It s equivalent to the male s penis getting stimulated.
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SPEAKER_01
So make sure that part is getting tended to.
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SPEAKER_01
And I was thinking about this last night.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t know if I should say it.
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SPEAKER_01
Say it.
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SPEAKER_01
It s like really extreme.
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SPEAKER_01
Not extreme, but okay.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t know why I got shy all of a sudden.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh my gosh.
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SPEAKER_01
No, I was using my toy, my vibrator, last night.
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SPEAKER_00
Me too.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
5
So synced.
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SPEAKER_01
And I, well, I am on my period and I do feel like I m always more horny on my period and around it.
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SPEAKER_01
And obviously that s hormonal.
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SPEAKER_01
But I was like, I feel like when I m using this, I can just never stop orgasming.
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SPEAKER_01
That s a weird thing to say, but I feel like I can just go on and on and on and on and on and on.
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SPEAKER_01
And it won t stop.
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SPEAKER_00
Unless I stop it.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but that s how our bodies work.
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SPEAKER_00
We can just go on and on and on and on and on.
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SPEAKER_00
I know.
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SPEAKER_00
I believe that going down on women, if you are a straight man, should be mandatory.
5
SPEAKER_00
Because that s how most women come.
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SPEAKER_00
So if you re not doing that, or you re not good at it, or you re not like trying to figure out how to be good at it, and what she likes, right?
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SPEAKER_00
Even good at it, just being in text.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
a good sexual partner, like you re not having sex right.
5
SPEAKER_00
And there s a really good book that every guy should read.
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SPEAKER_00
And I know if a guy has read this book based on how he is in bed.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, is this Emily Nagoski s book?
5
SPEAKER_00
No, it s called She Comes First.
5
SPEAKER_00
By David... Alan Greer.
5
SPEAKER_00
Sure, that sounds right.
5
SPEAKER_01
No, that s not it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Ian Kerner.
5
SPEAKER_00
Ian Kerner.
5
SPEAKER_00
That book is a seminal book that every man, again, if we lived in a world where
6
SPEAKER_00
healthy masculinity was the norm.
6
SPEAKER_00
Maybe not dads buying it for their sons, but like some male role model would buy it for every guy, which is like the way he says sex is dessert.
6
SPEAKER_00
Cunnilingus is the main act.
6
SPEAKER_00
So I also started orgasming in my late 20s.
6
SPEAKER_00
I dated men who knew this.
6
SPEAKER_00
First, I m going to make her cum, and then we have sex.
6
SPEAKER_00
And sex is just like the sprinkles, and then the guy cums.
6
SPEAKER_00
But when guys don t treat it that way, that s when we don t want to do it also.
6
SPEAKER_00
Wait a minute, so you weren t using a vibrator before that?
6
SPEAKER_00
I wasn t.
6
SPEAKER_00
I only started using vibrators like in my 30s.
6
SPEAKER_00
Wow!
6
SPEAKER_00
It s crazy.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I would very much recommend she also use a vibrator with her fiancé.
6
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
6
SPEAKER_00
Because that s also like...
6
SPEAKER_00
the easiest way to help with that, again, clitoral stimulation while you re having intercourse.
6
SPEAKER_00
But like, intercourse is not the main thing.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s not.
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SPEAKER_00
It s the main thing for men.
6
SPEAKER_00
It is.
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SPEAKER_00
It is.
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SPEAKER_00
It just has become the main thing for all of us.
6
SPEAKER_00
But it s like, no, like, it s so rare.
6
SPEAKER_00
And again, in movies, like we re talking about poor things, like, it s great.
6
SPEAKER_00
But the fact that she s coming from sex and intercourse to me is so unrealistic.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, except I do think when you re first having sex, there s also this emotional component and an excitement level that I think your brain does release some chemicals during these first times that fade out and then it s not as exciting and you aren t as stimulated.
6
SPEAKER_00
And intercourse is great.
6
SPEAKER_00
Sex is great.
6
SPEAKER_00
When it s not great is when you re doing it in order to achieve orgasm.
6
SPEAKER_00
I just find that that s hard.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
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SPEAKER_01
I think Vibrator, start reading some books and stuff on some of this and then talk to your fiance about paying more attention to your clit.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
And buying that book.
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SPEAKER_00
I think that s a good book to buy for a guy.
6
SPEAKER_00
Just order it on Amazon Anonymous.
6
SPEAKER_01
And you can say like, okay, I heard on a podcast.
6
SPEAKER_00
So it doesn t have to be like, I am intervening.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay, cool.
6
SPEAKER_01
This is funny.
6
SPEAKER_01
Husband bought a belt bag for himself.
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SPEAKER_01
This is from anonymous.
6
SPEAKER_01
A belt bag?
6
SPEAKER_01
This is from anonymous.
6
SPEAKER_01
Hello, love my Wednesdays listening to Sync.
6
SPEAKER_01
I think this is just a quick question.
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SPEAKER_01
I m a cis female and I ve had a belt bag for years and love it.
6
SPEAKER_01
My husband, a cis male, just bought one online for himself, gray color.
6
SPEAKER_01
Weird or not, we would definitely be matching one out in public, LOL.
6
SPEAKER_01
A belt bag.
6
SPEAKER_01
What is that?
6
SPEAKER_00
Is that like a fanny pack?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s a fanny pack.
6
SPEAKER_00
Fancy name for a fanny pack.
6
SPEAKER_00
Maybe she s British.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, maybe.
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t think it s weird.
6
SPEAKER_00
I actually think it s cute and fun.
6
SPEAKER_01
I think it s fun.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
And I also think if in your head it leans a little feminine, I think it s awesome that he s wearing one and like doesn t give a fuck.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m pro men wearing fanny packs.
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SPEAKER_00
Because also it means that we don t have to carry all the stuff.
6
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
6
SPEAKER_00
So he has the gum.
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SPEAKER_00
He has the Kleenex.
6
SPEAKER_00
It shows a level of confidence.
6
SPEAKER_00
I like it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Me too.
6
SPEAKER_00
And matching, whatever.
6
SPEAKER_00
I love matching.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s cute.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s cute.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think it s so fun.
6
SPEAKER_00
Would you want to do it with your boyfriend?
6
SPEAKER_00
Like, all I want to do is match.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh.
6
SPEAKER_00
I would, like, die.
6
SPEAKER_00
Really?
6
SPEAKER_00
Like, I love— Out at dinner?
6
SPEAKER_00
Wherever.
6
SPEAKER_00
We re going out for coffee.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like, do you mean compliments or do you mean wearing the exact same outfit?
6
SPEAKER_00
Wearing the exact same outfit.
6
SPEAKER_00
Or, like, similar slash— You re complimentary, but you re becoming each other a little bit.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, no.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m not for becoming each other.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think that s dangerous.
6
SPEAKER_00
But stylistically, there s something like a synchronization that happens.
6
SPEAKER_00
A syncing of sorts.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, a syncing.
6
SPEAKER_01
Of styles.
6
SPEAKER_01
Well, okay, here s what I ll say.
6
SPEAKER_01
Some people are so anti-matching.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s like if someone comes down the stairs, it s like, oh, fuck, you gotta change or I gotta change because we can t match.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m not like that.
6
SPEAKER_01
But I m not actively trying to match anyone.
6
SPEAKER_01
Got it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Well, you re one of a kind.
6
SPEAKER_01
No, everyone s one of a kind.
6
SPEAKER_00
You re a limited edition.
6
SPEAKER_00
You want to be your own.
6
SPEAKER_01
But I don t care.
6
SPEAKER_01
If me and you are going to coffee later, if we re meeting at three and then you show up in this outfit, I ll laugh.
6
SPEAKER_01
I won t be upset by that.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
6
SPEAKER_01
But I m also not going to say, Liz, okay,
6
SPEAKER_00
at three, wear this outfit.
6
SPEAKER_00
So before a night out, you don t ever text, like, what are you gonna wear?
6
SPEAKER_00
What are you gonna wear happens, but that s more of like, what tier, what are we wearing?
6
SPEAKER_01
Are we being casual?
6
SPEAKER_01
Are we being fancy?
6
SPEAKER_01
But it s not like, tell me what you wear, and then I m gonna replicate.
6
SPEAKER_01
Well, not replicate, but compliment, so that it goes... Oh, yeah, no.
6
SPEAKER_01
No.
6
SPEAKER_01
Honestly, I just haven t thought about it that much.
6
SPEAKER_00
I haven t thought about matching that much.
6
SPEAKER_00
Maybe because I have a sister.
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SPEAKER_00
Older sister.
6
SPEAKER_00
Our parents did that a little bit.
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SPEAKER_00
Not often.
6
SPEAKER_00
They weren t like psychotic, but it was probably because I wanted whatever she had and they wouldn t buy it in a smaller size.
6
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I think it s cute.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like we have matching robes that s for our cover art and that s so cute.
6
SPEAKER_01
I feel like if we went to the pool or something and we wore those, that s cute.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m fine with that.
6
SPEAKER_01
Am I?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I m fine with that.
6
SPEAKER_01
But also, you re fine with that is not the same.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like, I would be excited.
6
SPEAKER_01
Right.
6
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
6
SPEAKER_01
You are, like, dying to do that, and I m like, sure.
6
SPEAKER_01
I guess.
6
SPEAKER_01
I guess it s fine.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I think sometimes you ve even texted like, let s wear matching to this.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, probably.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, I don t want to.
6
SPEAKER_01
I want to wear this today.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
6
SPEAKER_01
Well, anyway, we think it s fine.
6
SPEAKER_01
We think it s cute.
6
SPEAKER_01
So cute.
6
SPEAKER_01
If it bothers you enough, I would say you have to change up your bag, unfortunately.
6
SPEAKER_01
Because if he likes his fanny pack, then he likes his fanny pack.
6
SPEAKER_01
I think we re probably out of time, but we have some other good ones.
6
SPEAKER_01
We have a lot of anonymous ones, which are fun, because those are like... Spicy.
6
SPEAKER_01
Spiced.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay, well, we ll be back next week with more fun questions.
6
SPEAKER_01
Hopefully no more plain events.
6
SPEAKER_01
You ve had two planned events in a row.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, what I was gonna say is what I was really, really hoping would happen with the story is you re tracking your, where s the phone?
6
SPEAKER_01
You re at the gate.
6
SPEAKER_01
You re looking around.
6
SPEAKER_01
Your gate boyfriend s there holding your phone.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s the meet-cute I m looking for.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s what I m telling you.
6
SPEAKER_01
There s multiple parts of this meet-cute and this could have been one.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s not.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s okay.
6
SPEAKER_01
But it was close.
6
SPEAKER_00
It was an opportunity.
6
SPEAKER_01
I cock-blocked myself.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay, but I love that.
6
SPEAKER_00
TBD, it s going to be something else.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s going to be something else.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s going to come out from left field.
6
SPEAKER_01
Next thing we should probably talk about, Adam Grant has an article that is about how astrology is defunct or whatever.
6
SPEAKER_01
I haven t read it yet.
6
SPEAKER_01
He sent it to me.
6
SPEAKER_01
Apparently, a lot of people told him to send it to me.
6
SPEAKER_01
So I m gonna read it in between now and then in you as well.
6
SPEAKER_01
I read it.
6
SPEAKER_01
And we will chat about it next week.
6
SPEAKER_01
Stay tuned.
6
SPEAKER_00
Stay tuned.
6
SPEAKER_01
Bye.