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My name is Lee Hawkins.
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I ve been a journalist for over 25 years.
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On my new podcast, What Happened in Alabama, I get answers to some of the hardest questions about how things came to be for many black Americans and the truth that must come before any reconciliation can happen.
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I investigate my family history, my upbringing in Minnesota, and my father s painful nightmares about growing up in Alabama.
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What Happened in Alabama is a new series confronting the cycles of trauma for myself, my family, and for many Black Americans.
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Listen now.
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Happy holidays, listeners, whatever you re celebrating out there.
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2022, I would say it was so good on so many levels, but it has been challenging for me.
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And I ve said that I m going to try and organize my time better and
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create more relaxation and fun time and family time.
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And I certainly do all those things, but I want to really floor it in 2023 and take time for myself and for my family
0
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I want to really nurture all of the good that I have and I really want to take time for all of everything that comes with my life instead of feeling like maybe I m scrambling around.
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But I also have very exciting things that are going to keep me very busy.
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if things go to plan in the new year.
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So it s a balancing act.
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I m excited, but I m really trying to stay focused on that element.
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If that speaks to you, I hope that you re able to do that for yourself in the new year.
0
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And happy new year to all of you.
0
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We re going to be taking a short break in January, but we ve lined up some of my favorite episodes to revisit from season one.
0
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Don t Ask Tig will be back with all new episodes starting February 1st.
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Also, I wanted to let people know that I ve put some merchandise up on my website, tignotaro.com.
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You can get my albums, whether they re on my website,
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and hard copies, physical copies.
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SPEAKER_01
You can also download them online, I think on Apple and different places like that.
0
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But yeah, I have my book, t-shirts, CDs, vinyl, all that kind of stuff.
0
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They make really great gifts.
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And yeah, also check out my other podcast, Tig and Cheryl True Story.
0
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It s a silly comedy podcast about documentaries each week.
0
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Okay.
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Now, onto the show.
0
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This is Don t Ask Tig.
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I m Tig Notaro, an amateur advice giver and gold medal winning podcaster.
0
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My guest today is a two-time Olympic gold medalist, FIFA World Cup champion, and six-time U.S.
0
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Soccer Athlete of the Year.
0
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She wrote the New York Times bestseller Wolfpack, hosts the ESPN Plus show Abby s Place, and also co-hosts the podcast We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle.
0
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She is a founder and part owner of Angel City FC, the first majority female owned soccer team in history.
0
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Abby Wambach, welcome to Don t Ask Tig.
0
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Thank you for having me.
0
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It s a pleasure to be here.
0
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You know, and we had you and your beautiful wife, Stephanie, on the We Can Do Hard Things podcast.
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So this just feels right.
0
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Full circle moment.
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It feels really good.
0
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And I have to tell you what you are known as at our house.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I love this.
0
SPEAKER_01
You ready?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
I ll be right back.
0
SPEAKER_01
I ll be right back.
0
SPEAKER_01
I ll be right back.
0
SPEAKER_02
What does that mean?
0
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It sounds like your name.
0
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Abby Wambach.
0
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Abby Wambach.
0
SPEAKER_01
Abby Wambach.
0
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I ll be right back.
0
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I ll be right back.
0
SPEAKER_02
That s good.
0
SPEAKER_02
That s good.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
There you go.
0
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I just wanted to let you know that when you do come up at our house, that is the name that you have been given.
0
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You know what?
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I think that I m going to try to steal it and bring it in my house.
0
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And I m just going to actually use it as a way that I speak to my people.
0
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They re going to talk to me and I ll say, I ll be right back.
0
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I ll be right back.
0
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I m Abby Wambach.
0
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Okay.
0
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Now, Abby, I was thinking about you and I, and I thought, oh, I have that in common with Abby.
0
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And then I thought, well, then I have this other thing in common.
0
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It became this game in my head where I thought,
0
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Let me think of all the things I have in common with you.
0
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And let me tell you what I ve come up with.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
0
SPEAKER_02
Tell me.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_01
We re both gay.
0
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I m assuming you re still in that world.
0
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Totally.
0
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Totally.
0
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All time.
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Full time.
0
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Okay.
0
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For sure.
0
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We re both soccer pros.
0
SPEAKER_01
Are you?
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, when I was a child, yes, I was a goalie and center forward.
0
SPEAKER_01
Nice.
0
SPEAKER_02
Is this where you won the gold medal that you prefaced the podcast with?
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, that was for the podcast.
0
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That s got it.
0
SPEAKER_01
Got it.
0
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Got it.
0
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We re both married, and we both married women that have never been with women.
0
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We both are parents.
0
SPEAKER_01
We both get misgendered.
0
SPEAKER_01
You love zombies.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I do.
0
SPEAKER_01
I was in a zombie movie.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, my gosh, which one army of the dead.
0
SPEAKER_02
Okay, I haven t seen that one yet.
0
SPEAKER_02
It s on my to do list.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then we both live in California.
0
SPEAKER_01
We both love the indigo girls.
0
SPEAKER_01
And yeah, you re sober.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m not sober, but I don t drink a lot.
0
SPEAKER_02
I heard something the other day.
0
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Somebody said, I m super curious.
0
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And I was like, huh, that s interesting.
0
SPEAKER_02
What is sober curious, somebody who s thinking about getting sober, somebody who s probably not an addict, but sees sober people.
0
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And they re like, it seems like they re doing really well over there.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, some of us at least.
0
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I don t drink enough to be sober curious.
0
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Gosh, I wish that I could have done that.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I was just all in on the booze.
0
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Give it to me.
0
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Is it something you re just done and happily done with?
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I had the unique experience.
0
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Some of us do, but not many do it in a public way.
0
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I got a DUI right after I retired from playing.
0
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And my little horrific mugshot on the ticker of ESPN for a solid seven days.
0
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And, you know, people camp outside of my house at the time, you know, news channels and cameras that does it to someone.
0
SPEAKER_02
It s like, oh, yeah, this is not ever something I want to participate in again.
0
SPEAKER_02
And so the lights kind of shut off for me and to spend almost seven years, seven years in April.
0
SPEAKER_02
So I m six years sober now.
0
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, congrats.
0
SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
0
SPEAKER_01
Now, I assume you watched the World Cup.
0
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_02
I m so excited.
0
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Not many people know this little fun fact that the women s national team signed a new CBA agreement with U.S.
0
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soccer.
0
SPEAKER_02
And the men also agreed to this, that the prize money for all of the World Cups will be equally shared among the men and women s team.
0
SPEAKER_02
So the men essentially earned 13 million dollars of prize money on November 29th.
0
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to be equally shared with the women s team.
0
SPEAKER_02
So our women s team just basically made $6.5 million.
0
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
0
SPEAKER_02
I know.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s incredible.
0
SPEAKER_02
I know.
0
SPEAKER_02
I m just like, I m so gonna match that.
0
SPEAKER_02
I m not gonna match it.
0
SPEAKER_02
And I maybe in jealousy.
0
SPEAKER_02
I have so much jealousy for women s team for now getting all of the paydays that so many of us knew we had earned all along.
0
SPEAKER_01
That is incredible.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I wasn t aware of that, but I know that that s a big part of your thing, right?
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I ve definitely dedicated so much of my life and mission to fighting for equality and equal pay falls into that category.
0
SPEAKER_02
And it s been such a joy to watch the women s team actually come through and sign this new collective bargaining agreement with U.S.
0
SPEAKER_02
Soccer that they now have equal pay.
0
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it s lovely.
0
SPEAKER_02
I just missed it, though, by a second.
0
SPEAKER_02
I was like, God ****.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, I don t get the feeling you re hurting now.
0
SPEAKER_02
Well, because I married Glennon Doyle and she s just the freaking, you know, the most successful author ever.
0
SPEAKER_02
It s just incredible.
0
SPEAKER_02
I won the lottery in that way for sure.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m sure you feel that way in many, many other ways.
0
SPEAKER_01
Of course.
0
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And I wanted to mention again, like I mentioned on the podcast, Stephanie and I were guests on We Can Do Hard Things.
0
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Just how impressed I am and inspired by both of you and the work that you do aside from
0
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fighting for equal pay and just helping those in need, like really putting your time and effort into so many causes.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, we re really lucky.
0
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I m really lucky because, you know, Glennon started Togetherizing, the nonprofit, years and years ago, and we re grateful to so many folks around the world that donate and you being one of them.
0
SPEAKER_02
I mean, you donated all the proceeds for one of your shows, I think, in New York City.
0
SPEAKER_02
I can t remember which show you donated from, but huge gratitude to you and to Stephanie for even thinking of wanting to be that.
0
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We just think the world of what you both do.
0
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For anybody that s not familiar, check out Together Rising and all the work that you guys are doing.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then, Abby, you are the youngest of seven children.
0
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What was that like growing up?
0
SPEAKER_02
Well, it s weird.
0
SPEAKER_02
Growing up, I didn t know any better, but I thought I had like an idyllic childhood.
0
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There was almost always some sort of chaos going on.
0
SPEAKER_02
I had a lot of people to look up to and to like figure out what I wanted to do through their successes and failures.
0
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And my sister, the eldest in our family, my sister Beth, she went to Harvard and played basketball there.
0
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I was never a great student.
0
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I thought, well, I m never going to be able to get to Harvard.
0
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So I m just going to focus my attention on sport.
0
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And I was really athletic.
0
SPEAKER_02
I played a lot of different sports growing up and found myself playing soccer, got called in as a young kid to the youth national teams.
0
SPEAKER_02
And I guess as they say, the rest turned into history.
0
SPEAKER_02
But growing up, it felt great.
0
SPEAKER_02
But I don t know if you would say the black sheep of the family or some people call it the X factor.
0
SPEAKER_02
I was just very different than the rest of my brothers and sisters.
0
SPEAKER_02
Like they all really listened to my parents and did every single thing that they said to a T. And I just...
0
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I just was not that way because I felt deeply in my bones that I was different than them.
0
SPEAKER_02
I couldn t really put words to it when I was 10, even 15.
0
SPEAKER_02
But once I started to get into like the elder parts of my teenage years, I started to realize, you know, my sexuality was definitely not what I was supposed to be doing by the Catholic upbringing that I had.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s the other thing we have in common.
0
SPEAKER_01
Catholic upbringing.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
0
SPEAKER_02
I actually went to an all-girls Catholic high school and I m so pissed because I could have had so much more fun if I just acknowledged my sexuality a little earlier.
0
SPEAKER_02
But there I was, you know, having a mom who very much still believes in the tradition of Catholicism and trying to appeal to her and, and please her.
0
SPEAKER_02
And also having this like internal conflict going on inside of myself, like this just all doesn t make sense.
0
SPEAKER_02
And then I go to college and everything kind of changes and I start really embodying who I really was.
0
SPEAKER_02
And, and so now in my
0
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you know, 20s, 30s, now in my 40s, I look back and I m like, I had so much trauma from trying to, like, suppress my sexuality and suppress, like, my bigness.
0
SPEAKER_02
I m like, I have this big personality that I kind of keep learning about, which is really cool.
0
SPEAKER_02
And, you know, I wonder, I m getting to the stage where I m stopping blaming so much and I m starting to be like, well, that s just the way it was.
0
SPEAKER_02
And I m okay now and I ve done really well for myself.
0
SPEAKER_02
I ve been successful.
0
SPEAKER_02
I have a family.
0
SPEAKER_02
And it s been really interesting because I think that that was one of the things, you know, our 16, he s now 19, but Chase, our oldest, he came out to us at 16.
0
SPEAKER_02
And I remember I was like riddled with fear around it.
0
SPEAKER_02
And it was such a healing thing for me because I understand now what it is to be a parent and to know what the world is and to fear our child having a hard experience, right?
0
SPEAKER_02
And so now I kind of...
0
SPEAKER_02
think about my coming out experience and not so much of a negative way.
0
SPEAKER_02
Oh, my mom didn t accept me.
0
SPEAKER_02
I think that my mom wasn t necessarily afraid.
0
SPEAKER_02
She was more afraid for me than of me.
0
SPEAKER_02
And I think that I had that confused for a lot of my life until our son came out.
0
SPEAKER_02
And I m scared for him in many ways, like the world.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yes, it is so much better than it was when we were growing up, but it s still weird.
0
SPEAKER_01
And worse in other ways.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yes, exactly.
0
SPEAKER_02
So, you know, having kids has been great for me to understand a little bit more about my mom and it s healed some of that.
0
SPEAKER_02
And also marrying Glennon, who knows more about religion than anybody ever probably can, at least the people that I know.
0
SPEAKER_02
She gets into Jesus conversations with my mom and I m just like, oh, this is good.
0
SPEAKER_02
This is good.
0
SPEAKER_02
And so my mom has respect for Glennon because she really has.
0
SPEAKER_01
She knows her stuff.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, she s really dedicated herself to figuring out what it is that she believes about Jesus and God, and it might not fall in the lines of Catholicism by any means, but there s respect there, I guess.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s nice.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I was raised Catholic, but it was a chill Catholic house.
0
SPEAKER_01
Nobody was throwing around the name Jesus.
0
SPEAKER_01
It was just like church when we were little and the holidays, you know, but it was really chill.
0
SPEAKER_01
Envious.
0
SPEAKER_01
But I m not a religious person at all.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, me neither.
0
SPEAKER_01
Not anymore.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, there s another thing in common.
0
SPEAKER_02
I m spiritual.
0
SPEAKER_02
Like, I think that there are unanswerable questions.
0
SPEAKER_02
I m like, what I would call spiritually fluid.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
I am a godparent.
0
SPEAKER_01
And my friend who made me the godparent of her son, when she brought this up to me, I said, wait,
0
SPEAKER_01
I feel like this is not a good decision on your part.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m not a religious person and you know this. 
0
SPEAKER_01
And she said, well, yeah, you know how you are?
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, just I want you to be that influence on my child.
0
SPEAKER_01
I feel like if my child has a question about life, you are the person I trust for him to go to.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I was like,
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay, great.
0
SPEAKER_01
So when we do talk about how I am the God parent, everybody jokes that I m actually his spiritual advisor.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s right.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_02
I have three God kids.
0
SPEAKER_02
And my sister Beth was baptizing my first God child, Annie.
0
SPEAKER_02
And I remember having to have a conversation with her.
0
SPEAKER_02
I said, Beth, I just want you to know, like, I think that this is more of like a placeholder, like a title, like a symbol.
0
SPEAKER_02
But I had to stand up there in the Catholic Church and the priest asked me, you know, will you raise this child with all of the Catholic ****?
0
SPEAKER_02
And I couldn t say anything, and I just nodded.
0
SPEAKER_02
I was like, that s it.
0
SPEAKER_02
That s all you re getting, you priest.
0
SPEAKER_01
See, I can only assume I went through the same ceremony, but I don t remember at all.
0
SPEAKER_01
I just remember holding a baby by some water.
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t know what s going on.
0
SPEAKER_01
All I m saying is, I hope you have a nice Christmas.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, same with you.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yes, for sure.
0
SPEAKER_01
Now, Abby, you said nobody listens to you in your house, but I feel like you have a lot of advice to give.
0
SPEAKER_02
I m eager to give advice because I became an Insta mom, Insta parent when I walked into this family.
0
SPEAKER_02
At the time, I had just retired from soccer, and you might relate to this, that a lot of people want to listen to the things that we say for whatever weird reason.
0
SPEAKER_02
It doesn t make any logical sense.
0
SPEAKER_02
I m just like, I played soccer.
0
SPEAKER_02
How could anything that I say make any sense, especially since I hit my head against a soccer ball for so many years?
0
SPEAKER_02
So I was under the impression that people like to listen to me talk.
0
SPEAKER_02
And this is all like just conditioning.
0
SPEAKER_02
And I would like interrupt our children at dinner and Glennon had to have a talk with me.
0
SPEAKER_02
She s like, babe.
0
SPEAKER_02
So when the kids are talking, when our small children are talking, that is a way that we can connect with them and learn about them.
0
SPEAKER_02
So interrupting them might not be the best form of parenting at the moment.
0
SPEAKER_02
So I ve learned to kind of quell the things that that might come up in my mind.
0
SPEAKER_02
So this is exciting.
0
SPEAKER_02
I might be able to.
0
SPEAKER_01
So the kids didn t really care that
0
SPEAKER_01
I ll be right back was sitting there at the table.
0
SPEAKER_01
They did not give.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s like my kids that fast forward through any TV.
1
SPEAKER_03
or special with my face on it, and they call me Tig Notaro when they see me.
1
SPEAKER_03
They re like, oh, there s Tig Notaro.
1
SPEAKER_03
And then, you know, swipe, swipe, swipe.
1
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, that s how it rolls.
1
SPEAKER_03
And what about specifically, would you have advice for people that have fallen in love with someone who s already a parent?
1
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, this is actually something that I know a lot about and have thought a lot about because when I first met Glennon, both of us actually were in other relationships.
1
SPEAKER_05
Glennon was married to Craig and I was married to my ex-wife and I was on the verge of getting a divorce.
1
SPEAKER_05
And so we didn t see each other for probably like five or six months so that we could extricate ourselves from those marriages to be able to be together.
1
SPEAKER_05
And during that time, I spent a lot of time actually emailing back and forth with Craig to develop a relationship that would be really positive for the kids.
1
SPEAKER_05
I knew that I always wanted to have kids.
1
SPEAKER_05
I didn t know it would happen in this way, which is actually awesome now thinking in hindsight, because then I didn t have to get pregnant.
1
SPEAKER_05
I didn t have to have the babies.
1
SPEAKER_05
I didn t have to deal with poopy diapers.
1
SPEAKER_05
They were old enough.
1
SPEAKER_05
I think that it was the perfect time for me.
1
SPEAKER_05
I don t know if I would have been a good, small child parent.
1
SPEAKER_05
And I think one of the things that I was able to establish with Craig, our kid s dad, was a loving relationship before I even met the kids.
1
SPEAKER_05
So when Glennon and Craig told the kids about me, Craig was able to tell them that he cared about me, that he loved me, and that in some ways gave them permission to do the same.
1
SPEAKER_05
And then, you know, treating each kid like they re their own person.
1
SPEAKER_05
So now our kids are very smart.
1
SPEAKER_05
They know what they can get out of each parent, and that s what they go to each parent with, right?
1
SPEAKER_05
So I m like the person who not controls, but manages and knows about the money and the tech.
1
SPEAKER_05
So when they need something ordered, when they need something new, when they want something, they come to me.
1
SPEAKER_05
Glennon is like an intellectual, spiritual type.
1
SPEAKER_05
And so when they need something like, how do I fill my car up with gas?
1
SPEAKER_05
Some like very basic thing that Glennon might not know how to explain that.
1
SPEAKER_05
I m like your person.
1
SPEAKER_05
I m the person that can teach them about like the normal stuff of life.
1
SPEAKER_05
And Glennon, she s the teacher of all of the things, whether it s school or their hearts or their emotions.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that s nice.
1
SPEAKER_03
It s been fun, though.
1
SPEAKER_05
And it s the hardest and most rewarding thing I ve ever done.
1
SPEAKER_05
It s the most exhausting.
1
SPEAKER_05
It s like never over.
1
SPEAKER_05
It never ends.
1
SPEAKER_05
Parent.
1
SPEAKER_03
No, no.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, no.
1
SPEAKER_03
And you re further along.
1
SPEAKER_03
And I mean, we have six year olds.
1
SPEAKER_03
Oh, my gosh.
1
SPEAKER_03
But they re awesome and have their little moments.
1
SPEAKER_03
But I would say, like every other parent, they re exceptional.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, we re very, very lucky.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_03
Well, are you ready to get into the listener questions?
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, let s do it.
1
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_03
The first question s actually about sports.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, some of you might know a little bit about.
1
SPEAKER_03
I do.
1
SPEAKER_03
Katie writes, hi Tig, I have a 10-year-old daughter who loves gymnastics and it s her greatest dream to make the gymnastics team at our gym.
1
SPEAKER_03
The thing is, the girls on the team are the worst, gossipy, perfectionist, competitive, classic tween brats.
1
SPEAKER_03
Despite the fact that my daughter will likely be six feet tall,
1
SPEAKER_03
soon, like me, she has busted her butt and may actually make the team soon.
1
SPEAKER_03
The thing is, she s a better soccer and tennis player, and the kids in these sports seem way nicer and more well-rounded.
1
SPEAKER_03
Can I tell her to dump gymnastics, or is this one of those many things I need to not micromanage?
1
SPEAKER_05
Mmm.
1
SPEAKER_05
This is a good one.
1
SPEAKER_05
Mm-hmm.
1
SPEAKER_05
Parenting is really hard because every age group requires a different form of parenting.
1
SPEAKER_05
When the kids are really young, you re basically making all of their decisions for them, right?
1
SPEAKER_05
Like what they eat and what they re wearing.
1
SPEAKER_05
And as they get older and start to develop more emotionally and they re capable of deciding what they put in their mouths and what they put on their bodies,
1
SPEAKER_05
Sports is one of those things that you just have to ask this child what they love most, what their favorite sport is.
1
SPEAKER_05
Yes, it s our inclination as parents to want to help them and guide them through some of these decisions.
1
SPEAKER_05
But if she loves gymnastics and really wants to compete in gymnastics,
1
SPEAKER_05
I would say just sit down with your kiddo and talk to them and ask them what they love about gymnastics and if that is something that could also grow in these other sports because you have to weigh what they re getting socially speaking.
1
SPEAKER_05
Yes, individual sports are a little bit more intense with the perfectionism, and especially gymnastics.
1
SPEAKER_05
It s a tough sport because there s a lot of body image stuff that s going on.
1
SPEAKER_05
If this child is going to be six foot, gymnastics might be a tough one.
1
SPEAKER_05
You know, there s a reason why you see all of the gymnasts being very small, and it s because they spend six hours a day training and jumping.
1
SPEAKER_05
And what happens is their spines compress over time as they get older.
1
SPEAKER_05
So it literally squeezes the vertebrae in their spines to make them shorter, which makes them more capable of pulling up their body weight.
1
SPEAKER_05
It makes them better gymnasts.
1
SPEAKER_05
In my opinion, gymnastics is one of the best things to put your small children in at a young age because it teaches them about their body, it teaches them about movement and mechanics.
1
SPEAKER_05
And in my experience, I did gymnastics and then I went into soccer and basketball when I was five and six years old.
1
SPEAKER_05
And you just got to see what the social experiment is, like what practice do you enjoy going to more?
1
SPEAKER_05
Is the goal of being on this gymnastics team the thing?
1
SPEAKER_05
And you just have to have the conversation with your kid.
1
SPEAKER_05
They re going to tell you.
1
SPEAKER_03
That s all really great.
1
SPEAKER_03
And it kind of reminds me of what they teach at my kid s school is no thank you bites.
1
SPEAKER_03
Have you heard of those?
1
SPEAKER_03
No.
1
SPEAKER_03
Like to try food and you say, just have a no thank you bite.
1
SPEAKER_03
Oh, cool.
1
SPEAKER_03
You taste it and it s either delicious or not.
1
SPEAKER_03
And, uh, you know, you can add it up.
1
SPEAKER_03
You understand what a no thank you bite is.
1
SPEAKER_03
I m going to start doing that with myself.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, it feels like there could be a no thank you bite with other sports.
1
SPEAKER_03
Just go for it with gymnastics, but do a no thank you bite with the others and just see if there s something waiting for you there that you didn t realize that you would love so much.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that s right.
1
SPEAKER_05
That s right.
1
SPEAKER_03
And if your child is drawn to this, I think you have to let them ride it out until they are not getting whatever it is that is feeding them.
1
SPEAKER_03
I watch it in stand-up all the time.
1
SPEAKER_03
Comedians, people that are pursuing it, and they re in the open mic scene, and they re never really taking off.
1
SPEAKER_03
But there s something in there where they want to prove that they can make it work or they have a social scene that they re connected to.
1
SPEAKER_03
And, um, I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_05
I, I think that it s important to remember that at 10 years old, you re just trying to give your kids as much opportunity to figure out what they like to do.
1
SPEAKER_05
Joy, passion.
1
SPEAKER_05
learning about grit.
1
SPEAKER_05
I mean, maybe going for this gymnastics team is going to be teaching them about resilience and maybe they don t make it.
1
SPEAKER_05
And unfortunately, what I m about to say might be heartbreaking for a lot of people to hear, but there is a high percentage chance that your child won t be able to do this thing on a professional level.
1
SPEAKER_05
So what is the point of sports then?
1
SPEAKER_05
Why are we putting our kids
1
SPEAKER_05
in sports at young ages.
1
SPEAKER_05
It s really important to learn about your body.
1
SPEAKER_05
It s really important to learn about social dynamics.
1
SPEAKER_05
So though it might be a hard social situation that your kid is in with gymnastics, it actually might be the very thing that could help teach your kid about the person they want to be.
1
SPEAKER_05
about dealing with conflict, about speaking up when somebody s doing them wrong or saying something wrong or doing somebody else wrong.
1
SPEAKER_05
It s our dream as parents to make sure that our kids have this cushy life and no problems, but it s really the problems of their lives that help them become the people and adults we dream they become one day.
1
SPEAKER_03
For sure.
1
SPEAKER_03
I say write it out on the gymnastics and then offer a no thank you bite and everything else that Abby said.
1
SPEAKER_03
I mean, that s advice straight from Abby Wambach.
1
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_03
I ll be right back.
1
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_03
And we will be right back because we have to go to a short break.
1
SPEAKER_03
So perfect timing.
1
SPEAKER_03
We ll be right back.
1
SPEAKER_01
A six billion dollar con.
1
SPEAKER_01
It didn t take long for it to spread like wildfire.
1
SPEAKER_01
You got to take a look at this really crazy gold stock.
1
SPEAKER_01
A buddy of mine got in at a dime.
1
SPEAKER_01
Which destroyed lives and devastated communities.
1
SPEAKER_01
Every little town across the nation, people have shares in this.
1
SPEAKER_01
We lost everything.
1
SPEAKER_01
And to date, no one has been brought to justice.
1
SPEAKER_01
Somebody knows more than we know.
1
SPEAKER_01
The $6 billion gold scam from the BBC World Service and CBC.
1
SPEAKER_01
Search for the $6 billion gold scam wherever you get your podcasts.
1
SPEAKER_03
And we re back.
1
SPEAKER_03
Abby, you re an advocate, as we mentioned, for equal pay, for equal work, which is at the heart of the next listener question.
1
SPEAKER_03
Cool.
1
SPEAKER_03
Joe writes, I have a coworker who is getting hired onto my team from a contractor position to a full-time employee.
1
SPEAKER_03
Our jobs are exactly the same with slightly different focuses.
1
SPEAKER_03
She disclosed to me that she was offered $13,000 more in an annual salary than I currently make.
1
SPEAKER_03
I ve been an employee for over a year and am just as qualified as her, so I m upset to be making so much less.
1
SPEAKER_03
Should I bring this issue up to my boss?
1
SPEAKER_03
I don t want to throw my new co-worker under the bus.
1
SPEAKER_04
Hmm.
1
SPEAKER_03
That s tricky.
1
SPEAKER_03
Hmm.
1
SPEAKER_03
Probably to this day, I ve never really worked in, you know, this kind of situation.
1
SPEAKER_05
Do we know the listener s name?
1
SPEAKER_03
Joe.
1
SPEAKER_05
Right.
1
SPEAKER_05
Did that make everything clear?
1
SPEAKER_05
It s a little bit more clear.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_05
So yeah, here s the thing.
1
SPEAKER_05
This woman who s coming in.
1
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, I think it s really important.
1
SPEAKER_03
I think they re both women.
1
SPEAKER_03
Got it.
1
SPEAKER_03
I m saying this because it s J-O.
1
SPEAKER_03
Got it.
1
SPEAKER_03
But it also could be a non-binary person.
1
SPEAKER_03
That s right.
1
SPEAKER_03
There s just a being named Joe that is writing to us.
1
SPEAKER_05
If we re talking about two women, I think it s really important to talk about this concept and idea that
1
SPEAKER_05
so many of us, especially when we have jobs and we have salaries, and the way we start is going to affect so much of the increase over the whole of that job, over the whole of our working careers.
1
SPEAKER_05
Women actually retire with 30% less than men for various reasons, the maternity tax, the fact that when women get into the job, they re making far less than men do.
1
SPEAKER_05
So
1
SPEAKER_05
the increase of that salary over time is not nearly as much as man s.
1
SPEAKER_05
And so what I would say is you don t have to throw somebody under the bus to go advocate for yourself.
1
SPEAKER_05
You can go and talk about what you bring to the company.
1
SPEAKER_05
You can mention that new hires are making X amount more than you and there should be and there could be a place where there s an increase.
1
SPEAKER_05
How can we have a conversation around that?
1
SPEAKER_05
I think that it is absolutely within your right.
1
SPEAKER_05
And by the way, it s not just about you, right?
1
SPEAKER_05
And I think that this can give so many women out there a little bit of courage when you go into these conversations, because the only thing women are allowed is just gratitude.
1
SPEAKER_05
I m so grateful that you ve hired me.
1
SPEAKER_05
But you are also allowed to be ambitious.
1
SPEAKER_05
And so when you go in, you re not only fighting for yourself, but you are also fighting for the woman who s going to be walking in that door behind you because you re establishing a standard for that organization, for that compensation, right?
1
SPEAKER_05
And so having those hard conversations is essential to getting the pay that you deserve, that you are earning, right?
1
SPEAKER_05
And it s not easy.
1
SPEAKER_05
I don t pretend that it s easy.
1
SPEAKER_03
No, it s not easy.
1
SPEAKER_03
And just looking at you talking about it reminds me to add in just the importance of delivery.
1
SPEAKER_03
And if you truly believe this, then you go in with the confidence.
1
SPEAKER_03
And I know that s hard, but to try and get in touch with the confidence that you need and the directness during that conversation.
1
SPEAKER_03
And would you say if the boss was like, okay, I m not gonna give you 13,000,
1
SPEAKER_03
I ll give you 7,000, 6,000.
1
SPEAKER_03
Is that a success or does the person need to have 13,000?
1
SPEAKER_05
Well, I mean, I think they mentioned that they work in different specialties of this job.
1
SPEAKER_05
And the way that that gets delineated via compensation, they re going to make it very difficult, right, to get that full increase and bump.
1
SPEAKER_05
But look, seven is better than nothing.
1
SPEAKER_05
And maybe you can set some internalized and negotiate some goals that if you hit certain goals by the end of the year, then you ll get bumped up to that bonus at the end of the year.
1
SPEAKER_03
Love it, Abby.
1
SPEAKER_03
I can t believe nobody in your house will listen to you.
1
SPEAKER_03
This is insane.
1
SPEAKER_03
Joe, you and your co-workers should be riding the fair pay buzz together, not getting thrown under it.
1
SPEAKER_03
We re going to take a quick break to answer a question that came in our therapy etiquette inbox.
1
SPEAKER_03
This segment is where we answer those awkward questions we all have as people getting the professional help we need and deserve and is sponsored by BetterHelp.
1
SPEAKER_03
Today s question was sent in by Sarah.
1
SPEAKER_03
Sarah writes, Hey Tig, I m someone who is very motivated by measurable progress.
1
SPEAKER_03
In school, I lived for grades, not always because they made me feel better about myself, but because they made me feel like I knew where I was and what I needed to do to get to the next level slash grade.
1
SPEAKER_03
The same is true for exercising and being able to see times or weights or reps.
1
SPEAKER_03
It s harder to measure progress in therapy.
1
SPEAKER_03
Can I ask my therapist for progress reports?
1
SPEAKER_03
Sarah, that is a question that never occurred to me, but it occurred to you, and that means it s important.
1
SPEAKER_03
So go ahead, ask your therapist for a progress report.
1
SPEAKER_03
I actually am thinking maybe I ll ask mine and hold my breath.
1
SPEAKER_03
But anyway,
1
SPEAKER_03
The best way to start maybe with a conversation about just what a progress report would look like and how you could use it to track your goals moving forward.
1
SPEAKER_03
I ll also add that this might be a good time to have maybe a larger conversation.
1
SPEAKER_03
For example, what exactly does progress look like for you when it comes to therapy?
1
SPEAKER_03
Mental health isn t a job, so you aren t an employee.
1
SPEAKER_03
Your therapist isn t a boss, and you aren t going to get fired for not reaching some sort of
1
SPEAKER_03
productivity goals.
1
SPEAKER_03
So I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_03
The main point I want to make is that any question you have about your therapy experience is a valid element to bring into your sessions.
1
SPEAKER_03
And I have a feeling that wherever you and your therapist end up with your progress reports, you re going to have a fruitful conversation about it that s going to be very helpful.
1
SPEAKER_03
And that s progress.
1
SPEAKER_03
A-plus questions, Sarah.
1
SPEAKER_03
I hope that s been helpful or at least somewhat reassuring.
1
SPEAKER_03
We want to hear from you.
1
SPEAKER_03
Send us your therapy etiquette-related questions at donasktig.org.
1
SPEAKER_03
Thanks to our sponsor, BetterHelp.
1
SPEAKER_03
Now, let s get back to our conversation with Abby Wambach.
1
SPEAKER_03
Abby, this last listener question was sent in by voicemail.
1
SPEAKER_00
Hey Dig, this is a question for you and Abby.
1
SPEAKER_00
This is Marie.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s not my real name and I m over 13.
1
SPEAKER_00
I just want to know when you re in love and you have to wait, how do you wait?
1
SPEAKER_00
Like day to day, minute by minute.
1
SPEAKER_00
Abby, how did you wait?
1
SPEAKER_00
Thanks.
1
SPEAKER_00
Bye.
1
SPEAKER_03
Okay, I just have a couple of questions.
1
SPEAKER_03
Does our show say that you have to be 13?
1
SPEAKER_03
Because I thought that was such an interesting also, I m over 13.
1
SPEAKER_03
So good.
1
SPEAKER_03
But I am under 70.
1
SPEAKER_03
And as far as when you have to wait, I m not sure I m understanding, wait to be with the person?
1
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, so I think what she s referring to is Glenn and I got together, we met, and we only had met for 10 minutes.
1
SPEAKER_05
And then we both went back to our respective lives.
1
SPEAKER_05
But both of us were in relationships.
1
SPEAKER_05
And so we had to, like I said earlier on the podcast,
1
SPEAKER_05
get out of those relationships before we could be together.
1
SPEAKER_05
And because she had three children, and also, up until this point in my life, I didn t have much impulse control.
1
SPEAKER_05
I was newly sober, I was like, I want this and I m gonna get that now as fast as possible.
1
SPEAKER_05
So this was an exercise for me that I think was maybe one of the most important things I ve ever learned over the next six months until I ended up moving to Naples.
1
SPEAKER_05
All I had to figure out was...
2
SPEAKER_02
the waiting was going to be better for everybody involved for my future life.
2
SPEAKER_02
I could have flown to her and we could have had a rendezvous, but then that would have compromised the promise and vow she had made to Craig.
2
SPEAKER_02
And that could have compromised respect and trust in our family life down the road.
2
SPEAKER_02
And so this was like the first time I made like a real mature decision for myself in a relationship that I was like, I m going to suffer in the short term to enable a long-term life and a truly foundationally built life to be able to grow.
2
SPEAKER_02
It was the hardest thing I ve ever done up until that point in my life.
2
SPEAKER_02
You know, looking back at the whole of my existence here on planet Earth and the times that I ve been in relationships, this has been by far the most stable and grounded one because it was built in truth.
2
SPEAKER_02
and in honor, and it was done in the way that allowed my integrity to stay intact.
2
SPEAKER_02
I wasn t ever getting outside of my character because we decided we wanted to be together.
2
SPEAKER_02
We had to go about divorcing and getting out of those previous relationships in the right way in order to step into something even better.
2
SPEAKER_02
Look, social media makes us like, I want this now, and I need it now.
2
SPEAKER_02
Everything good in my life is because I waited and I did it in a way that aligned and kept my integrity intact.
2
SPEAKER_03
I can relate this relationship with Stephanie.
2
SPEAKER_03
I feel like I need to send cards to all my exes and say my apologies.
2
SPEAKER_03
I wasn t quite there yet.
2
SPEAKER_03
And because I m sure, especially since she and I are both public figures, I would say I m friendly with
2
SPEAKER_03
all of my exes, but still, I m sure there are people that I have dated that witness what my life is now and are like, you know, I didn t get that.
2
SPEAKER_03
That s right.
2
SPEAKER_03
You know, that is right.
2
SPEAKER_03
Anyway, it s really interesting.
2
SPEAKER_03
I kind of went through the same with Stephanie of because she hadn t dated a woman and she was telling me that she was straight.
2
SPEAKER_03
I knew that I liked her and I just said, well, I should probably hang back and wait until I can see you as a friend, you know?
2
SPEAKER_03
And so we went our separate ways and I just was trying to reprogram my head.
2
SPEAKER_03
And then she reached out to me.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I remember saying to my friend at the time, I was like, why do you think she said she wants to come over and talk to me?
2
SPEAKER_03
And he was like, she s in love with you.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I was like, no, no, no, no.
2
SPEAKER_03
We already had this conversation.
2
SPEAKER_03
She said she s straight.
2
SPEAKER_03
I said, what?
2
SPEAKER_03
Why is she?
2
SPEAKER_03
He was like, oh my God, she s in love with you.
2
SPEAKER_03
I couldn t even accept it.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, I did the waiting.
2
SPEAKER_03
And it was different, obviously, from your situation.
2
SPEAKER_03
But, you know, just to tie it back to how do you wait?
2
SPEAKER_03
And, well, you just do.
2
SPEAKER_03
And it is hard, but it is a nice feeling when you know that, you know, nobody can come back and say, hey, I found this or you did this wrong, or you were sneaking or you lied or, you know, any of that stuff.
2
SPEAKER_03
You just you re like, this is
2
SPEAKER_03
the truth.
2
SPEAKER_03
This is what happened.
2
SPEAKER_03
This is how I feel.
2
SPEAKER_03
This is how I want to proceed.
2
SPEAKER_03
This is how we will proceed.
2
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, I gave Glennon a lot of credit for it because she had the three kids that she was thinking about.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
And she also had 15 years of sobriety under her belt that she was like, look,
2
SPEAKER_02
nothing is going to go away.
2
SPEAKER_02
And if it s meant to be, right, it will be in six months, it ll be in six years, it ll be hopefully in 60 years, but we will ruin it if we rush it.
2
SPEAKER_03
Marie, hang in there.
2
SPEAKER_03
Abby, this final part of the show is a segment I call Come Back to Me Later.
2
SPEAKER_03
Come back to me later, Abby.
2
SPEAKER_03
Come back to me later.
2
SPEAKER_03
Everyone wishes they had the perfect response at the ready for certain social interactions.
2
SPEAKER_03
Come back to me later is a segment where we make that wish come true.
2
SPEAKER_03
Sarah writes, dear Tig and friend, that s you, Abby.
2
SPEAKER_03
Got it.
2
SPEAKER_03
I need your help.
2
SPEAKER_03
I am constantly misgendered, which as an almost six-foot-tall lesbian is something I have learned to live with.
2
SPEAKER_03
I don t love it, but life goes on.
2
SPEAKER_03
Well, now my wife and I are hoping to adopt, and I m worried about how to handle these situations when we have a kid in tow.
2
SPEAKER_03
I don t ever want them to feel ashamed, and I worry that my stumbling through the usual awkward responses of, nope, nope, not sir, and no, really, it s okay, will do more harm than good in these situations.
2
SPEAKER_03
Please help.
2
SPEAKER_03
Hmm, well, I just have to say, I mean, this, people think I m exaggerating when I say it happens on a near daily basis for me.
2
SPEAKER_03
A similar thing happened in my own house last year at bedtime when I was about to read a story to my children.
2
SPEAKER_03
One of my sons asked me, are you a boy or a girl?
2
SPEAKER_03
And Stephanie interjected and she said, well, what do you think?
2
SPEAKER_03
And he said, I think you re a boy.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I said, well, no, I m not a boy.
2
SPEAKER_03
And he said, yeah, but you look like one.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I said.
2
SPEAKER_03
I said, yeah, that is true.
2
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, it s such a, it s especially an interesting time because of the conversation around gender and where everybody falls.
2
SPEAKER_03
And it s nice when people ask, you know, what your pronouns are, but like Stephanie was saying, nobody asks her what her pronoun is.
2
SPEAKER_03
Everybody only asks if you look like me or you.
2
SPEAKER_03
And that s always an interesting part, too, because if there is this discussion about gender and it s fluid, then everybody really should be asked, you know?
2
SPEAKER_03
I mean, I know that s not exactly answering this question, but it s just kind of the tip of the iceberg.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, well, I get misgendered, I would say 90% of the time.
2
SPEAKER_02
And it s funny, because my kids and wife, they get more upset about it than me, because they re trying to protect my heart and my feelings.
2
SPEAKER_02
And here s the thing, like Glennon and I, we have these long conversations about gender.
2
SPEAKER_02
It is a socially constructed construct.
2
SPEAKER_02
Like, it is something that was essentially made up.
2
SPEAKER_02
And the truth is, is both sexuality and gender and orientation and identity, all of that stuff is stuff that humans have made up to classify ourselves or to make ourselves feel safe in certain ways.
2
SPEAKER_02
But there s some of us, and in my opinion, those of us who might not fall on the end of those spectrums and somewhere in the middle, a non-binary person or however you want to identify,
2
SPEAKER_02
We are the people that see the truth and we have felt the truth.
2
SPEAKER_02
Like, I actually don t think that gender lives in me.
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SPEAKER_02
I think that I have female parts.
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I think when I look at the mirror, I m not going, ooh, you are a woman, Abby.
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I literally look at myself and the only thing I see is Abby.
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I m not seeing a gender.
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I actually think that everything that I do is in some ways in response to the world that I ve been born into.
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SPEAKER_02
I was supposed to be a girl.
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I didn t feel like that.
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And I also didn t feel like a boy because I m emotional and sensitive.
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SPEAKER_02
And so I m kind of confused myself about my own place in the world, but I can only be and act how I am.
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SPEAKER_02
And I cannot bring on or take on the outside world s judgment of that, because that will just make me miserable.
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SPEAKER_02
Because what am I going to do?
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SPEAKER_02
Like put dresses on?
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SPEAKER_02
Because I m just, I feel too old.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I feel too old to be changing my pronouns.
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SPEAKER_02
And I think that there are a lot of people that are, and I really think that that s awesome.
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SPEAKER_02
I m just like tired.
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SPEAKER_02
there is nothing to be figured out because if I change my pronouns in five or ten years, the gender pronoun game will be different.
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SPEAKER_02
All of the acronyms that we re using and all that is going on, none of it is real.
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SPEAKER_02
It s all stuff that we ve made up.
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SPEAKER_03
Well, and the fact is you re born with
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SPEAKER_03
a sex.
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SPEAKER_03
That s right.
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SPEAKER_03
You re born with whatever genitalia you re born with.
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And what society made up is this is a boy or this is a girl.
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SPEAKER_03
But it s just such a big conversation.
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SPEAKER_03
I ve personally
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SPEAKER_03
The frustrating part for me is like, I don t know if you feel this vibe when you go into public bathroom, get looks of like, who are you?
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SPEAKER_03
What are you?
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SPEAKER_03
What do you do?
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SPEAKER_03
Is this your right bathroom?
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SPEAKER_02
I actually have a bathroom voice.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_02
I raised my voice to a higher octave.
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SPEAKER_02
So anybody that looks at me and I know that the looks are always coming, I ll go, hi.
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SPEAKER_02
So I just like curb it.
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SPEAKER_03
I hope desperately that you and I run into each other in a public bathroom sometime.
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SPEAKER_03
Hi.
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SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I would say it s even though it s a women s bathroom.
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SPEAKER_03
It can be a scary vibe because people are like looking at you.
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SPEAKER_03
What are you doing in here?
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SPEAKER_03
But what I ve done for myself is I ve just tried to come up with funny ways to deal with it.
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SPEAKER_03
And I think as far as worrying about how your kids see you in these situations,
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SPEAKER_03
I think that having a conversation with your kids and also finding some sort of comfort and confidence in how you feel and not taking on the weight of the world.
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SPEAKER_03
I know it s easier said than done, but it goes always back to it s in the delivery and
2
SPEAKER_03
And some days, you re just not in the mood to be Mr. Notaro.
2
SPEAKER_03
Or other days, you know, when people say, excuse me, sir, my favorite thing to do is to misgender them.
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SPEAKER_03
And I just say, that s okay, ma am, to a huge, burly, bearded man.
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SPEAKER_03
Oh, it s so good.
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SPEAKER_03
But yeah, I feel the same.
2
SPEAKER_03
I identify as kind of similarly as just Tig or a person, but I also feel more comfortable with she, her.
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SPEAKER_03
But I don t know if this has been helpful, but
2
SPEAKER_03
Take it from a couple of misgendered, high pitched, hello people on this planet, Sarah.
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SPEAKER_03
That s that s what we say.
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SPEAKER_03
And hopefully something in there was helpful.
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SPEAKER_03
And Abby, we re at the end here.
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SPEAKER_03
Oh, my gosh.
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SPEAKER_03
What a joy.
2
SPEAKER_03
It was so fun to have you and your advice was so helpful and useful.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I really felt like
2
SPEAKER_03
I just wanted to sit back and hear what you had to say because I do think you have so many great points and you re a smart, likable human being.
2
SPEAKER_03
That s really sweet.
2
SPEAKER_03
Is there anything you would like to promote to the world?
2
SPEAKER_02
No.
2
SPEAKER_02
I just think that, you know, you being in the world and you just keep doing you.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m happy to be a part of this.
2
SPEAKER_02
Thanks for having me.
2
SPEAKER_00
There s so much I want you to see.
2
SPEAKER_00
I wish that I could give you the answers.
2
SPEAKER_00
I wish that I could make you believe.
2
SPEAKER_00
I wish that I could put you on your path and set you free.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s what you ll have.
2
SPEAKER_03
Don t Ask Tig is hosted by me, Tig Notaro.
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SPEAKER_03
It s produced by Thomas Ouellette and Shana Deloria.
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SPEAKER_03
Our executive producer and editor is Beth Perlman.
2
SPEAKER_03
Engineering and sound mixing by Alex Simpson.
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SPEAKER_03
Digital production by James Napoli.
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SPEAKER_03
Talent booking by Marianne Ways.
2
SPEAKER_03
Our theme music is Friend in Tig by Edie Brickell and Kyle Cresham, and Listen to Your Heart by Edie Brickell.
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SPEAKER_03
Special thanks to Hunter Seidman.
2
SPEAKER_03
APM Studios executives in charge are Chandra Cavati, Alex Schaffert, and Joanne Griffith.
2
SPEAKER_03
Concept developed by Tracy Mumford.
2
SPEAKER_03
Our executive consultant is Dean Capello and Gobsmack Studios.
2
SPEAKER_03
You can always ask for advice at DontAskTig.org.
2
SPEAKER_03
Just write in with your problem or send us a voice memo.
2
SPEAKER_03
Remember to follow us on social media at DontAskTig.
2
SPEAKER_03
DontAskTig is a production of American Public Media.
2
SPEAKER_03
And as always, thanks, Dana.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I ll tell Becky.
2
SPEAKER_04
I m Christina Cotarucci, and this season on Slow Burn.
2
SPEAKER_04
It s called Proposition 6.
2
SPEAKER_04
The Briggs Initiative.
2
SPEAKER_00
John Briggs is going to fire every gay and lesbian school teacher in California.
2
SPEAKER_04
With so much at stake, young people became activists.
2
SPEAKER_04
We can t let this happen in California.
2
SPEAKER_04
And activists became leaders.
2
SPEAKER_00
My name is Harvey Milker, and I m here to include you.
2
SPEAKER_04
Slow Burn, Season 9.
2
SPEAKER_04
Gays Against Briggs.
2
SPEAKER_04
Out now, wherever you listen.