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SPEAKER_00
Hello.
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SPEAKER_01
Hi, what s your name?
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SPEAKER_00
Ariana.
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SPEAKER_01
What s going on, Ariana?
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SPEAKER_01
How s life?
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SPEAKER_00
Um, you know, it s life.
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SPEAKER_01
I feel that brother.
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SPEAKER_01
Um, well, what d you want to talk about today?
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SPEAKER_00
Okay.
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SPEAKER_00
Well, this happened like two and a half years ago, but basically, um,
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SPEAKER_00
In the span of like one year, I got two abortions.
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SPEAKER_00
I got kicked out of my house and I got emancipated.
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SPEAKER_01
Um, this, this was when you were 18.
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SPEAKER_00
I was 17.
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SPEAKER_00
Actually.
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SPEAKER_00
I had just turned, I had just turned 16 when it all started.
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SPEAKER_01
Um, how you, well, I guess, uh, I mean, before we get into anything, how you doing now?
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SPEAKER_01
Are you chilling?
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I m actually great now.
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SPEAKER_00
I m in college.
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SPEAKER_00
I ve been living on my own since then.
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SPEAKER_00
Um, I m still with my boyfriend who it all happened with.
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SPEAKER_01
So, I mean, if you want to get into it, what, what happened?
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SPEAKER_00
Okay.
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SPEAKER_00
So, okay.
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SPEAKER_00
Let me just preface this with some backstory.
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SPEAKER_00
My dad is like not really in my life.
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SPEAKER_00
And like my mom is like a really bad opioid addict and alcoholic.
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SPEAKER_00
And so all of this happened like a year after COVID happened.
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SPEAKER_00
So it was like February, 2021.
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SPEAKER_00
And so me and my boyfriend had been together for, it had almost been a year.
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And on his 17th birthday, I found out I was pregnant.
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And so I like internally,
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knew what I was gonna do.
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SPEAKER_00
Like, I always knew if that ever happened to me, like, what my decision was.
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And, like, luckily, Rogi Wade wasn t overturned or anything.
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So I knew, like, I had options.
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SPEAKER_00
And my boyfriend, like, fully supported me.
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He was like, if you want to have it, I m down to do that.
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If you don t, I m down to do that.
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SPEAKER_00
So he was, like, very, very supportive.
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SPEAKER_01
So you were 16 and he was... So you were 16 and he was 17?
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SPEAKER_00
I had just turned 16, I had just turned 17 the week before.
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SPEAKER_00
So like, technically I was 16 whenever I got pregnant, whenever that happened in like January, December.
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SPEAKER_00
And then I just turned 17 when I found out.
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SPEAKER_01
Okay.
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SPEAKER_01
And so your boyfriend was supportive and everyone, everything was all aligned.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Like me and him were good.
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SPEAKER_00
I hadn t told my mom yet.
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SPEAKER_00
And it was, and it s actually the craziest story how she found out I was on the phone with one of my friends and she was at the place we worked at.
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SPEAKER_00
And she had me on speakerphone and someone else we worked with overheard it and they knew a friend of my family.
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SPEAKER_00
So like it got around.
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SPEAKER_00
Word kind of got around back to my mom and she ended up confronting me about it.
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SPEAKER_01
What did that confrontation look like?
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SPEAKER_00
Honestly, it wasn t that bad.
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SPEAKER_00
It was, you know, I heard this is a true.
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SPEAKER_00
I was like,
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, she was like, well, do you know how far along you are?
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SPEAKER_00
I was like, maybe eight weeks or something like that and she was like, well, do you know what you want to do?
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SPEAKER_00
I was like, yeah, I don t want to have it.
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SPEAKER_00
I want to get the procedure done and she was like, okay, well, I fully support you this and that and then I ve already done some research on it and she was like, I ll drive you to Texas or Mississippi if necessary, we ll do
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SPEAKER_00
whatever we have to do.
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SPEAKER_00
And I was like, Oh my God, thank you.
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SPEAKER_00
Like my mom hadn t like, it s never really like been like very supportive in my life.
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SPEAKER_00
Cause she s always been kind of absent or like kind of selfish with her decisions with drugs.
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SPEAKER_00
So I was like, cool.
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SPEAKER_00
Like, yes, absolutely.
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SPEAKER_00
Like, thank you.
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SPEAKER_00
Like I ll start like calls on Monday.
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SPEAKER_00
Cause it s like on a weekend.
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SPEAKER_00
And then a week later, she basically cornered me in my room whenever she was using and she was drunk and it was like 2 AM.
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SPEAKER_00
And she was like, you re having this baby, no matter what you think, I m the adult, I have to sign in order, because in my state, at least at the time, you had to have one parent sign off on it.
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SPEAKER_00
Like you couldn t sign off if you were a minor.
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SPEAKER_00
And since my dad s not really in my life, she knew that wasn t an option.
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SPEAKER_00
So she was like, you re having it because I m saying it.
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SPEAKER_00
And I still to this day do not know what caused that change.
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SPEAKER_01
So she just, so she, so she went from, she found out she was totally supportive.
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SPEAKER_01
She was like, I ll drive you to another state if I have to.
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SPEAKER_01
And then she just comes into your room drunk at 2 a.m.
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SPEAKER_01
and switches up on you.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
It was a very common occurrence for her to like barge in my room at 2 a.m.
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SPEAKER_00
just for like random things or not.
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SPEAKER_00
But it was like, it was absolutely crazy to me because like we hadn t talked about it since then.
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SPEAKER_00
Like I was just like trying to figure out what would be the best route to go about it.
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SPEAKER_00
So she didn t have to do any of the planning.
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SPEAKER_00
And then all of a sudden it was just, you re having this baby.
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SPEAKER_00
It s what I say goes.
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SPEAKER_00
And that was it.
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SPEAKER_01
That s fucking wild.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
And so in my, in my state, at least at the time you, there was something called, um, Oh, I forgot the name.
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SPEAKER_00
But it was like a bypass law.
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SPEAKER_00
And it was if you went to court and a judge determined that you were mature enough to have like an abortion, they ll grant you permission from the court to get an abortion if you re a minor.
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SPEAKER_01
Wait, so you go in front of a court and the court judges if you re mature enough to have an abortion?
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SPEAKER_00
Crazy.
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SPEAKER_01
How do they, what, what, what s the, first of all, that s insane because what, like, that s insane because what are they going to do?
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SPEAKER_01
Be like, you know what, you re not mature enough to have an abortion, but I guess, how can you be, how can you not be mature enough to have an abortion, but then be mature enough to have a baby?
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SPEAKER_00
That was, that was my debacle.
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SPEAKER_00
And I had to like get in contact with the, um, it was like a pro bono agency or like online website.
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SPEAKER_00
Well, I ll just say my state I m from Louisiana.
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SPEAKER_00
And so online, they have these like volunteer lawyers who will like represent you for free, talk you through the procedure, like how the court stuff is going to go.
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SPEAKER_00
And at the time, um, it was online court because not only because of COVID, but because I lived like in the middle of my state and there s only like three clinics in my state.
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SPEAKER_00
So the closest one was like two and a half hours away.
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SPEAKER_00
So they just did it via zoom court.
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SPEAKER_01
So did you have, so is that what ended up happening?
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SPEAKER_01
You went in front of a judge and like had to get like evaluated as to whether or not you, you could get an abortion?
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Well, I was really sick.
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SPEAKER_00
I had like something called hyper measles or hyper amnesia, something like that.
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SPEAKER_00
Hyperglycemia.
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SPEAKER_00
It s like a really long name, but I have like perpetual like morning sickness, like all the time.
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SPEAKER_00
Like I was like losing weight.
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So I had to drop out of school and basically like live in the hospital.
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SPEAKER_00
So it was really hard to go around my mom to like meet with the lawyers like on call and like on zoom and anything with her not being there Dude, so so it took me like a couple weeks to get it done So, okay.
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SPEAKER_01
I actually I have more questions about this whole process.
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SPEAKER_01
But before we do that just like so your mom she was supportive and then she was she was like drunken on drugs and cornered you but then like I I guess did she
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SPEAKER_01
Was she going back and forth between, like, drunk and fuck you and sober and supportive?
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SPEAKER_01
Or was, like, what was her deal during this time with you?
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SPEAKER_01
Was she flip-flopping?
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SPEAKER_01
Did she kind of change and stay with her position?
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SPEAKER_01
Like, what was her deal?
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SPEAKER_00
After that initial first flip-flop, she, like, stayed her position.
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SPEAKER_00
Like, using or sober, she was like, you re having it no matter what, no matter this, no matter that.
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SPEAKER_00
And whenever we would argue about it, because I would try and plead my case, the conversations always got a lot more aggressive whenever she was using, and it was always at night.
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SPEAKER_00
But her whole logic or standpoint was, she s my mom, so I can t consent, so she s going to consent for me.
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SPEAKER_00
And she wants me to have this baby, so that s what s going to happen.
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SPEAKER_01
So how did you get around her?
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SPEAKER_01
So you found this lawyer that was helping you out that.
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SPEAKER_01
So tell me, I mean, what are the what are the kind of procedure look like?
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SPEAKER_01
Not that not the medical procedure, but like the legal proceedings.
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SPEAKER_00
So basically, my lawyer, like, filled out
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all the legal jargon of like the petition to the court and then whenever it came time for like my actual court date I like basically just locked myself in my room and told my mom I was doing like homework like online schoolwork and told her that like she needed to be out of the house because I was gonna have to like talk with my teachers and stuff like that and like if like I just tried to get her I tried to use every excuse in the book to get her out the house like be outside and so I would
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SPEAKER_00
I got on Zoom and it was the judge, the clerk, my lawyer, and then a few other people that just had to be there for their purposes.
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SPEAKER_00
And then the judge, I m so sorry, this is the first time I m speaking about this and I m super nervous, but I promise I m okay about it.
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The judge has asked me a series of questions like, how old are you?
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What is your life like?
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Is the father still in the picture?
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What are your hopes and dreams?
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Like just kind of like basic stuff, like just trying to get to know me.
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And then she just kind of was like, why do you think you want an abortion?
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Or why do you think you need an abortion?
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Why do you think an abortion is going to make your life better than having this baby?
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And kind of like questions like that.
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And then like, once I entered those, she was kind of like, okay, well, why do you want an abortion instead of like putting it up for adoption or this and that?
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And like, that s whenever I kind of went into the whole, like, I m so sick.
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I ve had to like drop out of high school.
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And I was a junior at the time.
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So it was like really like time to kick it in high drive for college.
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And so like, I just kind of pleaded my case and like told them about like my mom and like that situation.
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And.
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she ended up like granting me access.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh my God, man.
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That s really, really fucking crazy that they re like, it s just a wild thing to evaluate someone for, to be like, why do you think it would be better to have an abortion versus like having a whole fucking ass baby?
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SPEAKER_01
Like, you know, I mean, that s just, that s just wild.
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SPEAKER_01
So I mean was it how shortly after that that proceeding did they did you get like the email or whatever where they granted you the permission?
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SPEAKER_00
I got it immediately.
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They like it s like a actual like court document that you have to like bring to the clinic to like show that like they allowed you.
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They don t like fax it or anything.
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So I had to like get it, I had to get it faxed over to me, which I had to go through like my boyfriend s aunt.
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Cause I couldn t have it done at my house.
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Cause my mom was going to see it.
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And then I had to, because my state has like, um, or at the time it did where you had to wait so many hours in between like your first initial visit and your like actual appointment visit.
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And so like at the time, my mom still has no idea any of this is happening or that I ve been granted this.
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And so I have to drive, me and my boyfriend have to drive two and a half hours to where the clinic is, like from where I live.
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And so I had to make up an excuse that we needed to sleep at my boyfriend s house, or like we were going to sleep at my boyfriend s house for whatever reason, just so we could go like drive the two and a half hours to the appointment.
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SPEAKER_00
And so we like, we go to the appointment, I do like what I need to do, like all the necessary like blood work, they ask if I have any questions, that kind of stuff.
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And then I have to go back a week later for the actual procedure.
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So I ve been like this whole time, like I ve been to like the clinic and everything.
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And like, I m just like, trying so hard not to have my mom like, hear any of my calls or like see anything like that, or like any of the like paperwork that they gave me or anything like that.
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SPEAKER_00
And then on the like day of the actual procedure, I had to like, or the night before actually, I had to lie again and say that we were sleeping at my boyfriend s house because of like whatever reason.
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SPEAKER_00
And the actual day of the procedure, it was like an eight hour day because I wasn t allowed to have my phone.
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And it was like 30 other women there, like having like some kind of like womanly procedure done.
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And so the whole time I m in there, I don t have my phone.
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My boyfriend has my phone.
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And he tells me like, whenever I get out, my mom was blowing up my phone.
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Call after call, text after text.
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She s like, I know, I know you re there.
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I know you re doing this.
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I just have this feeling.
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Answer me.
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Why aren t you answering me?
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And my boyfriend s like trying to text her like as it s me, but she like keeps trying to call.
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And it was just, oh, it was,
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When I got out of there and I finally called her, it was, it was not pretty.
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SPEAKER_01
What was that conversation like?
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SPEAKER_00
Well, I was really drugged up.
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SPEAKER_00
Let me first by saying that, like, they had given me, like, some, like, really strong anti-nausea stuff.
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SPEAKER_00
And so I was, like, barely conscious.
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Like, I was, like, half asleep, half not.
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And, like, I had just gotten this, like, procedure done.
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So I was, like, obviously not in the right state of mind.
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And she, I was like, I answered and I m like, hello?
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And she s like,
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Ariana, where are you?
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And at that point, I m like, well, it s already happened.
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There s no use in lying.
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I m like, I m in the city.
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And then she s like, why are you there?
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And I m like, because I did the thing.
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And I told her.
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And she just lets out the most heart-wrenching scream, cry, like she could.
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She lost her own child.
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It was so crazy.
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and it s so crazy that I can still hear that scream and she was just like, how dare you do this to me?
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I said, no, this, this and that and I m like, I can t really talk right now.
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I ll be home in a few hours and so we end up driving back and I m passed out the whole time and I just end up, she texted me not to come home.
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I m like, well, okay.
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So
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I like, I just, I slept at my boyfriend s house.
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And then the next day I like, I go to get my car.
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Cause I like, I m assuming she s kicking me out.
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So I m just like, I go and I just like, I have my hands up and my boyfriend s like in his car.
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And I m like, I m just here to get my clothes and my car.
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That s it.
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And she was like, she called me a murderer.
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First off, she literally chased me out of the house, calling me a murderer in front of all of our neighbors on the street, in front of everybody.
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And I m like, I m just trying to get my car and my clothes, mom.
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I m just trying to get my car and my clothes.
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And then she s like, just calling me a murderer, all this and that.
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I m like in full blown tears at this point.
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Like, and I just, I just get in the car and I leave.
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Cause I m like, well, I m not getting my clothes on my car.
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SPEAKER_01
So have you, had you been, did you ever go back and get your stuff from the house?
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SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah, there s like a lot more after that.
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So like a few days go by and she like eventually lets me back in the house and like we have like kind of like a heart to heart and I like tell her my side.
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She tells me her side and her side is basically just all of a sudden she like became religious and like she couldn t imagine killing her own flesh and blood.
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And I m like, that s crazy.
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SPEAKER_00
You ve never taken me to church before.
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SPEAKER_00
And so that was kind of her preposition, looking at it and why she couldn t allow it.
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She just kind of understood that it was her choice and not my choice.
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And so she was like, I can t allow this.
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If it s my choice, I can t allow this.
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SPEAKER_00
But I was able to move back in and we were okay for a few months and then
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SPEAKER_00
So, mind you, this whole time, like before I got pregnant and like right after I had the first procedure, I was on birth control.
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SPEAKER_00
Like, I religiously took my birth control with my vitamins in the morning.
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SPEAKER_01
And you still got pregnant on birth control?
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SPEAKER_00
Yep, and I got pregnant again on birth control, like three months later.
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SPEAKER_01
So I know you said that happened again, but just I guess real quick, so you and your mom kind of like, so tensions were like incredibly crazy fucking high.
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SPEAKER_01
She chases you out of the house, and then how many days later is it that you guys like, you know, have this talk with each other?
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SPEAKER_00
Maybe five days to a week, we didn t have any contact.
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SPEAKER_01
And how s that happened?
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SPEAKER_01
Did she reach out?
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Did you reach out?
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SPEAKER_00
I want to say she reached out.
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And because like this whole time I m like living at my boyfriend s house.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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And so but it s like this happened.
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SPEAKER_00
I want to say it was like kind of the last two weeks of May.
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like whenever she called me that and like we didn t talk.
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SPEAKER_01
And then by like the first of June, she like let me back in the house.
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SPEAKER_01
So I want to say because my grandma was like also really heavily involved.
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But she s like, she s like very religious.
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But like she like still loves me.
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SPEAKER_01
She was like kind of like mending the fence of like, I don t want you to do this.
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SPEAKER_01
But I understand it s your choice.
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SPEAKER_01
But you re doing this, but you re doing that.
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SPEAKER_01
And so I think like, I think
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SPEAKER_01
via me talking to my grandma and explaining my point of view and how I m seeing things, and her talking to my mom kind of eased the barrier because she was kind of the division between us.
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SPEAKER_01
So we were getting both each other s points via my grandma, who was a very neutral influence between us both.
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SPEAKER_01
I knew she supported my mom, but I knew she also supported me, and I think my mom knew the same.
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SPEAKER_01
So I think like, because my grandma was able to like talk to her and kind of like explain my side a little bit more and like, kind of like almost as a mom, talk to her, been like, look, this is your child.
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SPEAKER_01
Like, you know, like she made a choice for herself.
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I think that kind of like my mom off the fence.
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And also she had stopped using for like, once I had gotten the procedure done and she had like, just like, I want to say she went full dry, like pills and drinking for a bit.
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SPEAKER_01
And so…
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SPEAKER_00
Okay, you have the procedure, everything blows up.
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SPEAKER_00
Around five days later, your grandma talks a little bit of sense into your mom.
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SPEAKER_00
You and your mom have a rekindling of sorts.
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SPEAKER_00
And in that rekindling, you go back home and you were living at your boyfriend s for those five days.
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SPEAKER_00
And then you go back home and you live in your house with your mom again?
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Okay, and how are you feeling with your mom?
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SPEAKER_00
Are the tensions lower at this point?
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SPEAKER_00
Are you guys able to be around each other?
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SPEAKER_01
It s very obvious that she still has a lot of resentment and anger towards me.
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SPEAKER_01
But in the first month, it wasn t that bad because I got a job really soon after.
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SPEAKER_01
And so I was just literally working
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SPEAKER_01
40, 45 hours a week, like just trying to be out of the house as much as physically possible.
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SPEAKER_01
And then like the rest of the time, I would just like be at my boyfriend s or hanging out with him.
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SPEAKER_01
So I was out of the house pretty much from like morning until night.
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SPEAKER_00
And so you get pregnant again.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
And you re on and so you re on birth control, but you got pregnant on birth control twice.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Is that like a statistical anomaly?
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, my like, my OB was like, I can t believe I m seeing you again.
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SPEAKER_01
Like they like, they couldn t believe it themselves, because they had prescribed me the birth control both times.
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SPEAKER_01
And it had worked for three, two years beforehand, like I had had sex and had never, never gone pregnant.
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SPEAKER_00
Dude, that s crazy.
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SPEAKER_00
What s the math on that?
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SPEAKER_00
Do you know?
2
SPEAKER_00
Maybe like one out of 100 to 500,000 maybe?
2
SPEAKER_00
Man.
2
SPEAKER_00
Maybe more?
2
SPEAKER_01
If only you got a scratch off instead of a baby.
2
SPEAKER_01
I know, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
If only I was legal enough.
2
SPEAKER_00
Um, so... I could be a millionaire.
2
SPEAKER_00
So, I mean, tell me, man, what... What happened the second go-round?
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so, before the second time, my mom ended up suing the state.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, my mom was like, I can t believe this law exists.
2
SPEAKER_01
I can t believe you would take that choice out of parents  rights.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so my mom ended up suing the state.
2
SPEAKER_00
Your mom sued the state?
2
SPEAKER_00
Your mom sued the state and won?
2
SPEAKER_00
Wait, okay, hold on.
2
SPEAKER_00
Now this is before you get pregnant the second time.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, this is like right after she found out in the first one.
2
SPEAKER_01
She sued the state and won?
2
SPEAKER_00
What the fuck happened?
2
SPEAKER_01
So, like, basically she like, she teamed up with this group of pro-life lawyers and like wrote a letter to the legislative being like,
2
SPEAKER_01
This is my experience and then like said exactly what happened.
2
SPEAKER_01
As a parent, I can t believe this law exists, yada, yada, yada.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I guess it caused enough uproar that they changed the law to where if you wanted, oh, it s called judicial bypass.
2
SPEAKER_01
If you wanted judicial bypass, you had to now go
2
SPEAKER_01
in court in your parish instead of the parish that the clinic was in, which is why I like was doing online Zoom because I was meeting with a judge two and a half hours away.
2
SPEAKER_01
So now if you wanted that, you had to do it in your parish.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so Louisiana has like, I don t know, maybe like 60 something parishes.
2
SPEAKER_01
Only three of them ever solve these type of cases.
2
SPEAKER_01
So by the time my second one rolls around, I have to be the guinea pig of my parish s judicial system.
2
SPEAKER_00
in testing whether or not they re going to allow me this because it s never happened before because the law just changed all right i have a stupid all right um we got we ll get into this but i have a stupid question first there s no stupid questions what all right what is a parish okay a parish is like a count it s like louisiana s version of county
2
SPEAKER_00
Ah, okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
Alright.
2
SPEAKER_00
I thought it was like a church.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know why.
2
SPEAKER_00
I thought it was a church.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know why I thought it was a church?
2
SPEAKER_00
Because there s like a left- you know Left 4 Dead?
2
SPEAKER_01
No.
2
SPEAKER_00
This is a video game.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s called Left 4 Dead.
2
SPEAKER_00
In Left 4 Dead 2, there s a fucking map called- and it has the word parish in it and it takes place in a church.
2
SPEAKER_00
Whatever.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
So, um... Okay, so your mom
2
SPEAKER_00
fucking sues the state, wins, changes the laws so that you can t go to a different county to get your judicial bypass.
2
SPEAKER_00
And so now you get pregnant a second time, uh, one in a hundred thousand chance.
2
SPEAKER_00
And now you have to be the first person to, uh, get your judicial bypass exclusively in the county that you are local to.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
And my mother knew
2
SPEAKER_01
about the second one because she came to the hospital with me because I thought I was just sick and I ended up testing positive.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so she found out at the exact same time as me.
2
SPEAKER_00
Your mom.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
And what happened then?
2
SPEAKER_01
She told like I told her I wasn t going to have it and she said, well, don t bother coming back to the house and got up, got out of the hospital room and left me.
2
SPEAKER_00
Was that the last time you saw her?
2
SPEAKER_01
No, ironically.
2
SPEAKER_01
Um, she got up last.
2
SPEAKER_01
I had to like call my boyfriend to come pick me up.
2
SPEAKER_01
I like got in contact with those people again.
2
SPEAKER_01
And like we started the, um, the process to like do it in my county.
2
SPEAKER_00
Fuck, did you just do this whole thing all over again?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
And my mom ended up suing me.
2
SPEAKER_01
and the state.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, she sued everybody.
2
SPEAKER_01
So she sued me.
2
SPEAKER_01
She sued the attorney general.
2
SPEAKER_01
She sued the governor and she sued the like legislative branch.
2
SPEAKER_00
Did she win?
2
SPEAKER_01
No, because so ironic.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
2
SPEAKER_01
Everything about this story is ironic, but ironic enough, my court date ended up being one day before hers.
2
SPEAKER_01
So
2
SPEAKER_01
I went in front of this old white man, and I m like this five, six white, like blonde white girl.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I m just like, please, please don t have this.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he s like, he asked me kind of like the same series of questions, although he s just as confused as pretty much everyone else, because he has no idea, like, what the marker for maturity is in this case, because he s never seen a case like this.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, so this is this, this is this county s first time even doing these kinds of like procedures.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m the very first one.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Interesting.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so, you know, he asked me kind of like the same series of questions, like, what s your life like?
2
SPEAKER_01
What s your dreams?
2
SPEAKER_01
What s your goals?
2
SPEAKER_01
What s your aspirations?
2
SPEAKER_01
Um, is the father still involved?
2
SPEAKER_01
Does he support you?
2
SPEAKER_01
Like what s your family situation like?
2
SPEAKER_01
And so at this point, I was able to tell him, yeah, I m homeless.
2
SPEAKER_01
I got kicked out.
3
SPEAKER_00
out of my house.
3
SPEAKER_00
I barely have enough money to pay for this procedure and these court hearings by itself, let alone actually having a baby.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so I think those kind of surreal-ish things, I think, really helped my side.
3
SPEAKER_00
And he ended up allowing me, which I was very surprised about.
3
SPEAKER_00
I thought we were going to have to appeal, because my lawyer had prepared me
3
SPEAKER_00
in face of rejection, like, you know, like, don t cry, just, like, just breathe, like, we ll go to appeals, like, right after this, we ll be okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
And it, this is a different lawyer from last time, right?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, this is, um, this is, this one, like, um, kind of lived in my area.
3
SPEAKER_00
He, like, was associated with the group, but he lived, but he had to, like, physically be present with me this time.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so now you re, you re not on Zoom anymore this time.
3
SPEAKER_01
You re here in a place.
3
SPEAKER_00
No, I m, like, in my, in my local courthouse.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so what happens?
3
SPEAKER_00
And so my mom is basically like suing for a temporary restraining order on like any court proceedings dealing with me.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so how does like, sorry to interrupt, but she s okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
So you said she, okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
So she s suing like five different people.
3
SPEAKER_01
She s fucking sue in the court house.
3
SPEAKER_01
She s suing.
3
SPEAKER_01
You said she sued you.
3
SPEAKER_01
How did, what the fuck, what is, what s her grounds for a lawsuit against you?
3
SPEAKER_00
So I m not too sure what the like legal jargon of it was, but she had teamed up with the lawyer, like the same group of pro-life lawyers, and then another lawyer from California.
3
SPEAKER_00
And basically their whole legal stance was to stop me from retaining this judicial bypass so that then their court proceedings against the state for allowing
3
SPEAKER_01
Something something along the lines of stopping me from getting the judicial bypass To then allow their court proceedings to go on and duke out whether or not this is legal or not or whether oh So they okay, so they their whole thing was they want to stop your Procedure so that they can hope to win again to get You to not be able to get your judicial bypass Yes, that s fucking that s pretty fucked.
3
SPEAKER_01
I
3
SPEAKER_00
And she won, but it was one day too late.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was one day too late because her court date was after mine.
3
SPEAKER_00
I had already been granted it.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I had already gone to the clinic, like, because the day that my court hearing was, I had an appointment at, um, like at the clinic again.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so I was able to, right after I left the courthouse, I went straight there and then I started the medication.
3
SPEAKER_00
And once you start the medication and after it s been so long, it can t stop.
3
SPEAKER_00
So by time 24 hours later and it was their court hearing, I was already past the point where there was no salvation.
3
SPEAKER_01
Dude, so.
3
SPEAKER_01
All right.
3
SPEAKER_01
So you get your judicial bypass granted by this local parish and then like a day after your mom wins her court case to prevent anyone from being able to get judicial bypass?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
Anyone in the entire state.
3
SPEAKER_01
Really?
3
SPEAKER_00
Mm-hmm.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s fucking crazy, man.
3
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then my, like, so at this time, like, my mom is not letting me live with her.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, I am banned, barred, all of the above.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so my boyfriend, I m, like, kind of living with my boyfriend and his aunt, and his aunt ends up kicking me out, too.
3
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_00
And it s, she really doesn t like me.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like she understood our circumstances and like she wants the best for her, like her nephew, but she really doesn t like me.
3
SPEAKER_00
We ve just, we ve never gotten along.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s something personal, I don t think, but it had to do with like smoking weed and like that kind of thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
Is she also like a crazy religious person?
3
SPEAKER_00
No, she s actually really cool.
3
SPEAKER_00
That was the weird thing about it is like she let like her son and like her nephew smoke, but like whenever it came to me, like she thought I was like a bad influence.
3
SPEAKER_01
So now in the state of Louisiana, no, like if you re 16 and you get pregnant, you cannot, and your mom like forces you to have a baby.
3
SPEAKER_01
You cannot get judicial bypass to get an abortion.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, not since Roe v Wade overturned.
3
SPEAKER_00
You just can t get an abortion in Louisiana.
3
SPEAKER_00
But before it was, but then she, once she figured out I had gotten my abortion, she dropped her lawsuit because she was like, there s no point in pursuing this if my daughter,
3
SPEAKER_00
Because if I would have ever gotten pregnant, like right after, I would have been 18, would have been able to find for my own.
3
SPEAKER_01
So, once we found out- Wait a minute, so, so, so, so, after you get your second abortion, your mom stops fighting everyone?
3
SPEAKER_01
Because she s just like, well, there s no point anymore?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, she just lets go.
3
SPEAKER_01
So, all right, so you, you were, you were living with, all right, so you get your second abortion, your mom is like,
3
SPEAKER_01
Doing whatever you re living with your boyfriend and his aunt and then his aunt kicks you out.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then where do you, where do you go from there?
3
SPEAKER_00
Um, well I kind of just like, like I lived in my car for like a couple of days, but then like that wasn t really, I couldn t really do that and go to school cause I was still in school.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like I was able to enroll back in school for my senior year.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I was like,
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, this this kind of can t work.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I called up my godfather, who was extremely religious.
3
SPEAKER_00
And like, he knew everything that was going on.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, Hey, this is a situation like, I m working on getting emancipated to like, be able to find my own apartment, but because I m not no apartment complex will let me sign.
3
SPEAKER_00
Can I stay with you for a few months?
3
SPEAKER_00
And thank thank him.
3
SPEAKER_00
I thank him every day.
3
SPEAKER_00
He let me stay with him
3
SPEAKER_00
I ended up staying with him for probably four months before I was able to get into my apartment and move out.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I got emancipated in that time.
3
SPEAKER_00
My lawyer like saw what my mom was doing and like all the litigation and he was like, hey, I ll help you get emancipated like no charge if you want to.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m like, yes, please.
3
SPEAKER_01
So you get emancipated when you re like, what, 17?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it ended up I ended up I think it was November 4 2021.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was 17.
3
SPEAKER_00
My mom, my mom was gonna try and fight it with one of like her lawyer friends.
3
SPEAKER_00
But whenever like I told her who I was gonna like have as witness like her ex boyfriend.
3
SPEAKER_00
And like some other family members who she kind of fucked over.
3
SPEAKER_00
She was like, Yeah, I m gonna lose the battle.
3
SPEAKER_01
God damn, dude.
3
SPEAKER_01
So, all right, so you get emancipated.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then what do you do?
3
SPEAKER_01
What do you do from there?
3
SPEAKER_01
You re living with your, I m sorry, you said your, your uncle?
3
SPEAKER_00
My godfather.
3
SPEAKER_00
He was like kind of like my father figure in my life.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
So you re living with him?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I just kind of live with him.
3
SPEAKER_00
I live with him until the end of January from like November, from like October, November-ish till January, 2022.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then me and my boyfriend moved into our apartment and I m still a senior in high school.
3
SPEAKER_01
Right now, you re a senior in high school right now?
3
SPEAKER_00
No, I was.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was at the time.
3
SPEAKER_01
So you re like 17, 18, you re a senior in high school, you and your boyfriend move into an apartment.
3
SPEAKER_01
How are you paying for it?
3
SPEAKER_01
Do you guys have a job?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, well, I was working since right after my first one, and then he had been working since like six months before.
3
SPEAKER_00
So we were both high school seniors, just like working like normal jobs.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, I was working at Starbucks, and he was working at a grocery store.
3
SPEAKER_01
How d you get time to work while being in high school?
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, because I was a senior, I only had two classes.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, those were only the credits I needed to finish, because I was, like, smart and did, like, some of my credits in middle school, so I didn t have to have, like, a full year senior year.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you got the AP shit.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
So you didn t have to go to school.
3
SPEAKER_01
So you were going to high school, like kind of part time and then on like a work release after that.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I was like going to school from like seven to nine 30.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then I was like at work from like either like 10 to five where like I would work the closing, like 12 to nine 30.
3
SPEAKER_01
And that was an, I know a lot of like, did you like from, from like the Starbucks and the grocery store, you guys were able to make rent.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it was actually pretty cheap.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was only like 500 whenever we first moved in.
3
SPEAKER_01
Damn, 500 for what, a one-bedroom?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it was like a one-bedroom condo.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was like downstairs.
3
SPEAKER_01
One-bedroom condo, 500 bucks a month?
3
SPEAKER_00
No, a one-bedroom.
3
SPEAKER_01
A one-bedroom, 500 bucks a month?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Pretty fucking good, bro.
4
SPEAKER_00
Especially between two of you guys.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Geez.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
4
SPEAKER_00
And so, is that where you re still living now?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yep, until I graduate.
4
SPEAKER_00
And now you re in college?
4
SPEAKER_01
College.
4
SPEAKER_00
What do you study?
4
SPEAKER_01
Microbiology.
4
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
4
SPEAKER_00
And your boyfriend, what s he do?
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, he still works at the same grocery store, but he works in like the meat department.
4
SPEAKER_00
Cool.
4
SPEAKER_01
He like does butcher stuff.
4
SPEAKER_00
What s, what s, what s the, what s the hope and dream for you?
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, um, definitely move out of this town.
4
SPEAKER_01
Definitely probably states, maybe countries.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, I kind of just want to live like a little farm life in a cottage and like the mountains and just garden.
4
SPEAKER_00
So did you ever talk to your mom again?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, about like whenever I was moving in, she like slowly started to like integrate her way back into my life.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like she offered to like buy us a TV and like buy us groceries and like I was piss poor broke at the time.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m not going to deny the help.
4
SPEAKER_01
So she like slowly started to ease her way in that way and then
4
SPEAKER_01
Now it s crazy to say, but we re actually kind of cool.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s like, not really mother daughter.
4
SPEAKER_01
We re like more so just friends.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I mean, like she tells me all of her drama with her.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m kind of like a therapist in a way.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like I just kind of listen to her, her drama and stuff.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I give her advice and that s about as far as our relationship goes.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, nothing ever too personal.
4
SPEAKER_00
So you and your mom.
4
SPEAKER_00
So, I mean, God damn your mom, like,
4
SPEAKER_00
just makes your life fucking hell for for you know two years during this crazy difficult time she s doing all this insane litigation stuff really not being a mom and then later like what
4
SPEAKER_00
What s the deal?
4
SPEAKER_00
So she starts like slowly like integrating herself back into like, I guess.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
So she leaves.
4
SPEAKER_00
So, so, okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
So you re in the hospital, you find out that you re pregnant again, she leaves.
4
SPEAKER_00
You don t hear from her much, I guess, except her like suing everyone.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then when does she start to come back into your life and how?
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, like after I got emancipated, she started the only contact she had on me was email.
4
SPEAKER_01
So she just started emailing me like once a week, just giving updates about her life and like asking how I m doing.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I never responded.
4
SPEAKER_01
I would just like look at them, try to read them.
4
SPEAKER_01
I d kind of sigh and then I would just delete them.
4
SPEAKER_01
And that went on for probably about three months.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then like whenever we were moving in, I still had some stuff at my mom s house.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I needed to like go back to like get the rest of my stuff.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like my bed was still there.
4
SPEAKER_01
and that kind of stuff, and she was gonna let me take it.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so all of our contact was between my grandma.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I would just ask my grandma to ask her when I could go and that kind of stuff.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then whenever I got to her house, we just kind of got to talking.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it was like, it s kind of weird to say, but it was like, you could feel the tension from the stuff that just happened, but it was also kind of normal in a way.
4
SPEAKER_01
Because my mom s always kind of done me
4
SPEAKER_01
dirty, like she s kind of always done me wrong.
4
SPEAKER_01
So like us being in that situation where like her asking for forgiveness and like asking to be let back into my life isn t something new.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I m kind of like I guess used to that I m like used to her asking to come back.
4
SPEAKER_00
And every and despite everything you found the strength to is is forgive her the right
4
SPEAKER_00
Word, would you say you ve forgiven her by letting her back into your life?
4
SPEAKER_01
I think, I think I have, I think I ve forgiven.
4
SPEAKER_01
I just haven t forgot.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like it s still, it still dawns on me sometimes.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, especially whenever like we talk about like certain topics and stuff like that.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I think for the most part, like I understand, like I understand a lot of it is due to like her drugs and her alcoholism and how
4
SPEAKER_01
selfish that can make her and how like during that time the drugs were definitely not helping and probably just fueling into her selfishness and so like I guess I kind of recognize that and I guess I kind of not like lame but like I guess I expect her to do that kind of stuff because of the drugs so like in a way I know it s not her like I know it s not like my my mom that s doing that
4
SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
4
SPEAKER_00
And so she s, yeah, it does.
4
SPEAKER_00
It does.
4
SPEAKER_00
Um, I mean, that s a lot of, so, so she s, you re kind of like her therapist now.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like she ll come to you for like advice and to vent.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
So like she s dating this guy who has the same name as her ex.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so like whenever they first started dating, she like would come to me and she d be like,
4
SPEAKER_01
Do I tell him?
4
SPEAKER_01
Do I not tell him?
4
SPEAKER_01
And then, like, she just, like, there s, like, I definitely have boundaries with her, but she has no boundaries with me.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, any topic in her life is, like, completely okay to talk about with me.
4
SPEAKER_01
So, like, she s, like, talking to me about, like, their intimacy, like, compared to her ex and that kind of stuff and asking, like, my opinion on that or, like, asking, like, if she should text him or if she should not text him.
4
SPEAKER_00
Really?
4
SPEAKER_00
Wow, man.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Your mom s a doozy.
4
SPEAKER_00
She s something, that s for sure.
4
SPEAKER_00
How do you feel about being in this position with her?
4
SPEAKER_01
Honestly, I think I m just relieved because the situation could have gone a lot worse.
4
SPEAKER_01
I could have two babies right now, or I could have a baby.
4
SPEAKER_01
and being in college and stuff like that.
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And so I think because things worked out in my favor the way I wanted them to gives me a lot of room to be gracious.
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Like I m not going to have a forever child reminding me of what my mom tried to do with me.
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Like I don t have that forever scar unless like I really like think about it.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, because I mean, look, man, right now, you know, being 20 and living in this apartment and you re working, going to school, you re doing all these things.
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I mean, you really I mean, you could do it with if you had a kid, but it d be a thousand fucking times harder.
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And then, you know, you d build resentment, you d build further resentment for your mom.
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And that might lead into resentment for the kid.
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And it would just been a bit of a fucking, you know, disaster.
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Yeah, it was never a healthy situation to start with.
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I m gonna just real quick.
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I m gonna ask if the chat has any questions For you because this has been a by the way.
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I want to thank you.
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I ll let the chat Put some questions, and I ll pick some questions for the chat But I want to thank you for talking to us about this this whole crazy story.
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I hope it was
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Beneficial or helpful to you to talk through I mean it s it s totally wild and I have I have tons of respect for you for For a lot of things for you know your your ability to continue to have a relationship with your mom withstanding all of these Withstanding this whole saga and for your ability to stay strong throughout it all and to kind of
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be able to emerge with a good, happy life on the other end of it.
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Thank you.
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Let s see here.
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Someone wants to know if you have advice for women in similar scenarios.
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Go with your gut feeling, because I have never regretted my choices ever in the slightest, not one bit.
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It s a really hard decision, and I completely empathize with you.
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But just always do what s best for you, no matter what anybody thinks, because at the end of the day, you ve got to live with a choice.
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Someone asked, do you ever want a kid?
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To be determined.
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After being really sick that first time, new research has found out that it s actually genetic.
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So if I ever do become pregnant again,
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happen again and I don t know if that s something that I m willing to like put my life at risk for and adoption is always a good option I think if I ever want a child in my life but I don t have I have really big aspirations to travel and to live my life to the extent and if a child fits in there then a child fits in but if not I don t have any desire
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Someone said, what kept you going when it looked dire?
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My boyfriend was a really big help.
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He was a really big support to lean on and to just hear me vent over and over about my mom and how I couldn t believe it.
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Weed helped a lot.
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My anxiety was really bad.
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My sickness was really bad.
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Thinking about my future, honestly, I ve always been a big dreamer.
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That kind of always helped me when I was younger and my mom was using and I was scared.
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So I just kept dreaming of my dream vacations and I would just plan them out in my head whenever I got over-anxious and that always helped calm me down.
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So I always had something to look forward to and not look back at.
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Someone asked, which fast food joint you think has the best french fries?
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SPEAKER_03
Ooh.
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SPEAKER_03
Oof.
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Um...
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Mmm, McDonald s when they re crispy and salty.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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Yeah.
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I ve been actually, I ve been at the Burger King recently.
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Um, I was at a Burger King at the airport and they have all these like breakfast options, like seven in the morning and they have all these breakfast options, but at the very bottom it s, it s a tab and it literally says on the tablet, do you want a Whopper for breakfast?
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And I was like, I kind of do.
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And so I ate a Whopper and fries at seven in the morning.
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It was pretty, it was pretty good.
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I don t know why I threw that in there, but.
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Um, let s see if there s any, oh, uh, oh, okay.
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I m actually, this is the last one and I m curious about this.
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SPEAKER_00
Where do you want to go?
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You said you want to travel a lot.
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Where, what s your dream destination?
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SPEAKER_03
Oh, my dream is probably, man, that s hard.
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Probably Italy.
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I really like Italian culture.
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I really like Italian food too.
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But I have a trip planned to Scotland and Ireland next summer, right after the finals of my junior year.
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So I m really excited for that.
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What s your name again?
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Ariana.
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Ariana well Ariana look I ll say it again I mean dude like going through all this shit having you know especially without your dad and with your mom being crazy and it s just I m inspired by how you were able to deal with all this shit and then still come back on top and you re out here living your best life and you re making it work and you seem like you re happy and you know congrats to you on all that stuff
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Thanks, Gack.
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Well, is there anything else that you want to say to the people at the computer or about the story or about french fries or anything at all before we go?
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Make good choices.
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If you don t make good choices, you can always change them.
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Well, take care, Ariana, and thank you for calling and sharing your story.
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Thanks, Gack.
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SPEAKER_00
Later, dude.
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Later.
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That s crazy, man.
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I mean, I... You know, I m very lucky I have supportive parents.
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Because, you know, I don t know.
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It s one thing, like...
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one thing like being a like if you re gonna be like a piece of shit in your own universe right like self-destructive and you know make bad choices like I get it you know I get it but to to do all of that as like a it s like an attack on your own child this is fucked up
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So, whatever.
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I mean, I also, I really do, I really have a deep respect for Ariana.
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Like, after all that, man, after all that, she still is willing, she s willing to hang out with her mom and give her boy advice.
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I mean that takes a lot of that kind of forgiveness.
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It takes a lot of character.
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It really does to do all that to like to take all that like evil stuff her mom was doing and then but recognize that beneath all of that is a
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a woman who is struggling with her addiction and her, you know, drug abuse and alcoholism and problems with her own relationships.
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And of course, look, she could look at all that and be like, I don t give a fuck.
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I m not responsible for that.
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You re a grown woman.
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You can handle it.
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And, you know, she can do that if she wanted to.
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But this is not what she did.
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She recognized it and she went, you know what?
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I ll be your girly, you know?
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Tell me about this guy.
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And I really have a deep respect for that.
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It reminds me of, I ve talked about this before, I ve talked about fucking Toy Story 3.
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It reminds me of that scene in Toy Story 3 where Lotso hugging, where they fucking, Lotso hugging Bear, he had just fucked over all of the toys.
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and he was just fucking them over he was scheming hard to fuck them over and he does and he sends them all into the trash but then he also gets sent into the trash and all the toys are like grabbing metal stuff to like avoid the incinerator you guys know what i m talking about and then um they re about to like get over the incinerator when lotso hugging bear is like help me i m stuck i m down here i m stuck i need help
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And everyone s like, come on, Woody, we gotta go, fuckin  leave him.
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He s a piece of shit, leave him.
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And then, what does Woody do?
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It makes me cry to think about it every time.
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What does Woody do?
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Because he s Woody and he has this, like, immaculate character to him.
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He fuckin  goes down there and he saves Lotso Huggin  Bear from the incinerator.
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Because that s the kind of guy he is.
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And then do you know what Lotso Huggin  Bear does?
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He fucks them over again!
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It s insane.
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It s insane.
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I think about this movie all the time.
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Anyway, I don t know, this just reminded me of that.
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SPEAKER_00
Thank you for sharing your story, Iriana.
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SPEAKER_01
Therapy Cat goes on the line Taking your phone calls every night Therapy Cat goes doin  it right He s teaching you how to live your life But he s not really an expert