0
SPEAKER_00
Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m Dan Rather and I m joined, it s so weird when you re sitting side saddle.
0
SPEAKER_00
I know.
0
SPEAKER_00
We don t do the intros side by side.
0
SPEAKER_02
We don t, we do them across the way.
0
SPEAKER_00
You re always on the couch.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, but not today.
0
SPEAKER_00
No way, we re turning it on its head or its side.
0
SPEAKER_00
We have a very fun guest today, Eva Longoria.
0
SPEAKER_00
Did that make you uncomfortable?
0
SPEAKER_00
A little.
0
SPEAKER_00
Eva Longoria.
0
SPEAKER_00
Eva Longoria is an actor, a producer, and a director.
0
SPEAKER_00
Desperate Housewives, Devious Maids, and she has a movie out right now called Flamin  Hot, which is a super inspirational and cool story.
0
SPEAKER_02
She directed it.
0
SPEAKER_00
She directed it.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
And it s about Richard Montanez.
0
SPEAKER_00
She tells me how to pronounce it and I m not doing it correctly.
0
SPEAKER_00
But the gentleman who created Flamin  Hot Cheetos.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Fascinating story.
0
SPEAKER_00
And then she s just so cool.
0
SPEAKER_02
She is.
0
SPEAKER_02
She s really fun.
0
SPEAKER_02
This is a, this is a bouncy one.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s a bouncy, fun, high energy one.
0
SPEAKER_00
Please enjoy Eva Longoria.
0
SPEAKER_00
We re exactly the same age.
0
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if you had put that together.
0
1975?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yes, ma am.
0
SPEAKER_00
No way.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m three months older than you.
0
SPEAKER_01
You should be relieved.
0
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
0
SPEAKER_01
Thank God somebody s older than me.
0
SPEAKER_00
What are you, March 15?
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, thank you.
0
SPEAKER_01
March 15.
0
SPEAKER_00
March 15.
0
SPEAKER_00
January 2nd.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_00
Three months.
0
SPEAKER_01
I just met somebody.
0
SPEAKER_01
Will.i.am.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s it.
0
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
0
SPEAKER_01
March 15, 1975.
0
SPEAKER_00
And do you find that you re at all similar?
0
SPEAKER_00
I mean, musically, obviously.
0
SPEAKER_01
Very.
0
SPEAKER_00
Other than that.
0
SPEAKER_01
Obviously.
0
SPEAKER_01
Back in the day, in my wild days, you know, pre-children.
0
SPEAKER_00
Wait, children?
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, I have three stepchildren.
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you do?
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay, okay, okay.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then I have one son.
0
SPEAKER_02
Your hair s so long and beautiful.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, honey, it s not mine.
0
SPEAKER_02
Oh, great.
0
SPEAKER_01
I love it.
0
SPEAKER_01
I love it.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m trying to get it out.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m not this girl.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m, like, sleeping on my... Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
I just need to, can somebody come get these things out of my head?
0
SPEAKER_01
My hairstylist, because we have all these events coming up.
0
SPEAKER_01
Thank you so much.
0
SPEAKER_01
He s like, we have to keep them in.
0
SPEAKER_00
Do you want anything in it?
0
SPEAKER_01
No, I m perfect, black is good.
0
SPEAKER_00
Okay, I m black too.
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I am, I m black.
0
SPEAKER_00
You wish.
0
SPEAKER_00
No, I do wish.
0
SPEAKER_01
Love these, these are comfy.
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh, good.
0
SPEAKER_01
How old are you?
0
SPEAKER_01
Baby, yeah, you re a baby, you re a child.
0
SPEAKER_00
Isn t he fucking cute?
0
SPEAKER_00
People don t get to see Wobby Wob, but he s so cute.
0
SPEAKER_00
I took him to Las Vegas this weekend.
0
SPEAKER_02
We pull him out as like a special.
0
SPEAKER_00
Do you know he was kind of getting the Charlie treatment in Vegas.
0
SPEAKER_00
Some girls fell in love with him and invited him to a strip club and he had to tell them, I m a married man, I don t want to go to that.
0
SPEAKER_01
Are you married?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, he s got two little kids.
0
SPEAKER_02
What?
0
SPEAKER_02
You re a baby.
0
SPEAKER_02
You locked it down so young.
0
SPEAKER_00
You had the same look on your face, and we re the same age.
0
SPEAKER_02
You had the same look at 35.
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, how old are we?
0
SPEAKER_01
I feel like we re so old.
0
SPEAKER_00
You re like, what?
0
SPEAKER_00
You should be.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you re living it up.
0
SPEAKER_01
You don t want to know what I was doing at 35.
0
SPEAKER_01
I was divorced twice.
0
SPEAKER_01
No kids.
0
SPEAKER_01
I feel like my assistant and my social media girl, they re babies and they don t go out.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s a different time.
0
SPEAKER_00
They don t do anything.
0
SPEAKER_00
There s real data.
0
SPEAKER_00
They don t have sex either.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s not good for her.
0
SPEAKER_00
No.
0
SPEAKER_02
I think it s a lot of people get validation off social media and they feel connected and then they don t need to really go do anything.
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it s bad.
0
SPEAKER_01
All my assistants are cool and hip and they dress nice and I m like, where are you wearing this to?
0
SPEAKER_01
Other than my house.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, to you.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s for you and you only.
0
SPEAKER_01
Because this should not be wasted on me.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
This must be a 1975 thing, because this is me, too, right?
0
SPEAKER_00
Monica will tell you.
0
SPEAKER_00
Everyone, I m like, why aren t you guys out being young and having fun?
0
SPEAKER_00
Like, why aren t you meaning what s going on?
0
SPEAKER_00
Like, let s go.
0
SPEAKER_00
I really want people to get out there.
0
SPEAKER_01
I do, too.
0
SPEAKER_01
My stepdaughter, she s 27 now, but she was coming to college to L.A.
0
SPEAKER_01
She s from Mexico City.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, this is gonna be amazing.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, my God.
0
SPEAKER_01
I would have killed to go.
0
SPEAKER_01
out of the country for college.
0
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
0
SPEAKER_01
It s just like, can you imagine?
0
SPEAKER_01
Paris or something?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yes, what?
0
SPEAKER_01
Spain?
0
SPEAKER_00
What?
0
SPEAKER_01
I want to go.
0
SPEAKER_01
And so I told her, you re going to have the best time.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then she got a boyfriend right before she left in Mexico.
0
SPEAKER_01
So she was like going back and forth.
0
SPEAKER_01
I was like, why would you do that?
0
SPEAKER_01
She ended up marrying him and he s lovely.
0
SPEAKER_01
He s a lovely human being.
0
SPEAKER_01
I was like, this is it.
0
SPEAKER_01
You re going to sleep your way through here.
0
SPEAKER_00
You re going to Baskin Robbins.
0
SPEAKER_00
You can sample all 31 flavors.
0
SPEAKER_00
You ve got years to do this.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
0
SPEAKER_01
So I was like, oh, why would you get a boyfriend and be all settled down?
0
SPEAKER_01
But then at what age do you think it switches over into?
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, it s time.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay, great.
0
SPEAKER_00
Sounds like a good time to settle down.
0
SPEAKER_01
Lots of time left.
0
SPEAKER_01
How old are you?
0
36.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_01
You re a baby too.
0
SPEAKER_01
But don t you think 50 is young?
0
SPEAKER_00
Well, certainly now that I m banging on its back door, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Well, twofold.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, 40 for sure is young, though.
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yes, absolutely.
0
SPEAKER_00
You could probably run a marathon if you were inclined.
0
SPEAKER_01
I started playing paddle tennis about 10 years ago.
0
SPEAKER_01
Not pickleball.
0
SPEAKER_01
To not pickleball.
0
SPEAKER_00
What is the difference?
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, the ball, the racket, the court.
0
SPEAKER_01
The whole game.
0
SPEAKER_00
So a lot of the stuff.
0
SPEAKER_01
Completely different game.
0
SPEAKER_00
Do you have a chip on your shoulder that pickleball is so popular now?
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t, I own a pickleball team.
0
SPEAKER_01
But I will say paddle is like a sport.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s hard.
0
SPEAKER_01
But literally three years ago, I was like, I think I might go pro.
0
SPEAKER_01
But in my head, I think I m young enough to do that.
0
SPEAKER_01
My husband s like, have you seen
0
SPEAKER_02
Every time we watch the Olympics I could I think she thinks she can be in the Olympics like for real I can t wrap my head around this.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but I really believe that I believe that too.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s why you re sitting where you re at I mean it is part of the recipe you have to be naively optimistic in some weird way Delusional it s called delusion.
0
SPEAKER_00
You have to be fucking delusional.
0
SPEAKER_00
I think about it all the time
0
SPEAKER_01
You guys have the embers?
0
SPEAKER_01
You re fancy.
0
Oh, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_02
We make up for the wires with the embers.
0
SPEAKER_00
Think of us as like a boutique hotel where, you know, it s a shitty hotel, but we ve got enough accoutrement to make you think it s nice.
0
SPEAKER_01
There s incense.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
We got some candles.
0
SPEAKER_01
You know what else, too?
0
SPEAKER_01
I m delusional in my optimism.
0
SPEAKER_01
I have body dysmorphia the other way.
0
SPEAKER_01
I think I look amazing.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, incredible!
0
SPEAKER_01
That s not, hold on, hold, hold, hold.
0
SPEAKER_02
But is that not body dysmorphia?
0
SPEAKER_02
No, because you look incredible.
0
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no, I m saying like, I go in a red carpet in this dress with peacock feathers, isn t this stunning?
0
SPEAKER_01
And then I see the red carpet photos and I m like,
0
SPEAKER_01
Why the fuck am I wearing peacock feather?
0
SPEAKER_01
Or whatever it is.
0
SPEAKER_01
It literally is really bad.
0
SPEAKER_01
I remember I squeezed myself into something a month after pregnancy because I was like, I look good.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then I looked back at the pictures and was like, why would I wear that?
0
SPEAKER_01
I really thought I looked good.
0
SPEAKER_02
But I think the thing, you did look good.
0
SPEAKER_02
Maybe now looking back, you have a different opinion.
0
SPEAKER_02
I ve never seen you not look good.
0
SPEAKER_00
I think I can solve it though.
0
SPEAKER_00
I think it s like what she thought she looked like.
0
SPEAKER_00
And then what objectively she sees she looks like.
0
SPEAKER_02
How is it objective?
0
SPEAKER_02
It s all coming from her the whole time.
0
SPEAKER_00
You re right.
0
SPEAKER_00
She is the single data set.
0
SPEAKER_01
No, I think a lot of people, there was a consensus that it was not good.
0
SPEAKER_00
There you go.
0
SPEAKER_00
We had children.
0
SPEAKER_00
I was 38 when the first one came.
0
SPEAKER_00
And relative to other people with 10-year-olds, I m kind of old, but I m like not a second too soon.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m delighted I delayed.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, me too.
0
SPEAKER_01
Right?
0
SPEAKER_01
Mine was 43.
0
SPEAKER_00
Aren t you just delighted that you chose it that way?
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh, 100%.
0
SPEAKER_01
Because us coming up in this industry at that time was so much hustle.
0
SPEAKER_01
I remember submitting myself with Backstage West.
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh God, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Going to people s weird apartments and talking to a strange man.
0
SPEAKER_00
Thomas Guide.
0
SPEAKER_01
Phonely people.
0
SPEAKER_01
Analog.
0
SPEAKER_01
what Thomas guides were.
0
SPEAKER_01
You had to be all in for your own success.
0
SPEAKER_01
And when you have children, you have to be all in on them.
0
SPEAKER_01
And so I love that I m not the center of my universe.
0
SPEAKER_01
People go, how s your life change?
0
SPEAKER_01
Isn t it crazy having a kid?
0
SPEAKER_01
And I go, it s amazing because I get to say no to everything.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yes, it s a built in no.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s a built in he s got a fever.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s like you have the flu for 18 years.
0
SPEAKER_00
You can always just say, I would love to, but I don t want to get everyone sick.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
COVID scared to school.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
I think my life was simplified when I had him, not like, it s so complicated now, because you are no longer the center of the universe.
0
SPEAKER_01
40 years of my life, it was about me.
0
SPEAKER_01
I completely exhausted it.
0
SPEAKER_01
I cannot think anymore about what s right for me, what s right for me.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then I had Santi, and then I was like, oh, this is awesome.
0
SPEAKER_00
What s his name?
0
SPEAKER_01
Santiago Santi.
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I like that.
0
SPEAKER_00
Will he get confused with Santi Claus?
0
SPEAKER_01
Right now he s going by Santi Quique because his name is Santiago Enrique and the short nickname for Enrique is Quique.
0
SPEAKER_01
So he goes, I m Santi Quique.
0
SPEAKER_01
And somebody said that the other day, you re like, you re Santi Claus?
0
SPEAKER_01
And he goes, no.
0
SPEAKER_00
But he was like, could I be?
0
SPEAKER_00
Is that an option?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yes, exactly.
0
SPEAKER_00
If you re confusing me for him, maybe that s an option.
0
SPEAKER_01
We haven t even talked about Santa Claus.
0
SPEAKER_00
Several different times we ve stepped in it where people got very upset.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like one is we didn t bathe our kids a lot.
0
SPEAKER_00
When they re babies, we did.
0
SPEAKER_00
But then as soon as they hit like six or seven, a couple of times a week s great, until they stink.
0
SPEAKER_00
That was a big hoopla.
0
SPEAKER_00
People were disgusted with us.
0
SPEAKER_01
But didn t Mila and Ashton say the same thing?
0
SPEAKER_00
That s where it came from.
0
SPEAKER_00
We were talking to Mila on the podcast.
0
SPEAKER_00
But another thing is this, which is,
0
SPEAKER_00
Santa Claus.
0
SPEAKER_00
We got to that age.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Roll it out for her.
0
SPEAKER_00
You know, St.
0
SPEAKER_00
Nick s going to come by.
0
SPEAKER_00
He s huge.
0
SPEAKER_00
He s going to come down the chimney.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I was just looking at her face.
0
SPEAKER_00
And even at three, she was like, Oh, this doesn t jive with what I know about physics.
1
SPEAKER_01
and the size of the world and people and so told her the one lie and then over the next week and a half just question after question poking holes in this and now I m like 51st lie on Wednesday.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t like this.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t like that I m gaslighted.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t like that the best part of her personality, you know, her inquisitiveness and her going, this doesn t feel right.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, fuck it, we re not doing this.
1
SPEAKER_01
So we didn t do it.
1
SPEAKER_01
And guess what?
1
SPEAKER_01
Christmas is just as fun at our house as it was when I was a kid.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m in that now.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like, do I do the powdered footsteps on the, we don t even have a chimney.
1
SPEAKER_00
We don t even have a fireplace.
1
SPEAKER_00
Do I build a fireplace?
1
SPEAKER_00
But you know what s so funny about girls?
1
SPEAKER_00
I have a boy, which I m so thankful, but girls, it s hard because you want
1
SPEAKER_00
her to question everything.
1
SPEAKER_00
Especially a man telling her something.
1
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
1
SPEAKER_00
Raising a girl when you re like, okay, simmer down and sit down and be a good girl and stay in line.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s not the woman you want her to be.
1
SPEAKER_00
No.
1
SPEAKER_00
So you have to like, yes, you call bullshit and I see your bullshit.
1
SPEAKER_00
I fold.
1
SPEAKER_01
You just folded your hand.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know, it had no impact.
1
SPEAKER_01
We re all going to be together.
1
SPEAKER_01
You re not in school and you get a shitload of presents.
1
SPEAKER_00
Still magical.
1
SPEAKER_01
How is that a bummer?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Do you know James Purefoy?
1
SPEAKER_00
Amazing actor.
1
SPEAKER_00
We shot this thing together.
1
SPEAKER_00
We re talking about Christmas and he said, I did the whole thing.
1
SPEAKER_00
There s a place.
1
SPEAKER_00
Where do you go?
1
SPEAKER_00
Not in Iceland or Norway or somewhere you go.
1
SPEAKER_00
You get off the plane.
1
SPEAKER_00
A sled picks you up with reindeer.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Reindeer takes you to your little cottage.
1
SPEAKER_00
You go across the lake.
1
SPEAKER_00
The elves are making cookies.
1
SPEAKER_00
There s a house.
1
SPEAKER_00
The smoke is coming out.
1
SPEAKER_00
There s Mrs. Claus.
1
SPEAKER_00
She welcomes you in.
1
SPEAKER_00
Wait, I want to go there.
1
SPEAKER_00
I know.
1
SPEAKER_00
I want to go.
1
SPEAKER_00
I want to take Sandy.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then you go into the room and there s Mr. Claude.
1
SPEAKER_00
They must have 28 of these, you know what I mean?
1
SPEAKER_00
Because I have to serve with all these families.
1
SPEAKER_00
But there s Mr. Claude, Santa Claus.
1
SPEAKER_00
Can you imagine the dining hall there?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, right?
1
SPEAKER_00
28 Santas.
1
SPEAKER_00
Smoking.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
Smoking shots.
1
SPEAKER_00
Drinking some spiked eggnog.
1
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, he did the whole thing.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he goes, so now my son is like 13.
1
SPEAKER_00
He knows Santa s not real.
1
SPEAKER_00
But he goes, the other day, I was just listening to him talk to his friends.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he goes, you know, Santa s not real.
1
SPEAKER_00
Meaning the guy at the mall, that s not Santa.
1
SPEAKER_00
And that guy s not Santa.
1
SPEAKER_00
He goes, I ve met him.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
And James turned around going, Oh my God, this lie.
1
SPEAKER_00
I told him at five.
1
SPEAKER_00
He s never bought the commercialization of it.
1
SPEAKER_00
No, that s not real.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_00
Because I met the real guy.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
1
SPEAKER_01
And he had to like sit him down at 13 and go like, no, no.
1
SPEAKER_01
Although that place was real, the people there were in character.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like going to Disneyland.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_00
Santa hasn t come up.
1
SPEAKER_00
Isn t that weird?
1
SPEAKER_00
He s five.
1
SPEAKER_00
He just turned five.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, well, this is probably the year.
1
SPEAKER_01
Because he s in preschool and stuff now, right?
1
SPEAKER_00
I was thinking of doing The Shelf on the Elf.
1
SPEAKER_00
Elf on the Shelf.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so we started that.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
Disaster.
1
SPEAKER_01
You re not going to like where I m discussing.
1
SPEAKER_00
So much work.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, I don t know where you re at.
1
SPEAKER_01
You went to Catholic school growing up and this and that.
1
SPEAKER_01
But I started also seeing the parallel of how you re laying the groundwork for another thing.
1
SPEAKER_01
So Elf on the Shelf is perfect.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s a little guy and he s magic.
1
SPEAKER_01
And if you touch him,
1
SPEAKER_01
he can t be an elf anymore.
1
SPEAKER_01
You ruin his elfeness if you touch him.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s built in.
1
SPEAKER_00
Is that on the box?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s like original sin is built into it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, God.
1
SPEAKER_01
And like the shame, and then every little kid touches it.
1
SPEAKER_01
How could they not?
1
SPEAKER_01
You re putting a fucking cute little stuffed animal that s magic.
1
SPEAKER_01
So of course they re gonna touch it.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then they re riddled with guilt.
1
SPEAKER_01
They re going to hell, basically.
1
SPEAKER_01
They ve killed this elf.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m like, why are we doing this?
1
SPEAKER_01
It s a slippery slope.
1
SPEAKER_01
It is, and I feel like it s all just laying the foundation to go like,
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I know it s crazy the world s 3,000 years old, but that s how it is.
1
SPEAKER_01
We don t know what to say about these dinosaur bones.
1
SPEAKER_00
I know, but it s so funny because when Santi was four, yeah, so maybe a year ago, he was asking me something, but mom, why?
1
SPEAKER_00
But mom, why?
1
SPEAKER_00
And it never ended.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I said, because God made it like that.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
and we re in the car and he goes, who s God?
1
SPEAKER_00
And I literally was like, oh my God, has he never come out?
1
SPEAKER_00
Have I not mentioned him?
1
SPEAKER_00
And then I felt, as a horrible Catholic, I was like, oh God, I forgot to mention God.
1
SPEAKER_01
Slipped your mind for four years.
1
SPEAKER_01
Slipped my mind for four years, because he goes, who s that?
1
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, oh my gosh.
1
SPEAKER_00
Also, what a question.
1
SPEAKER_00
So you live in the neighborhood?
1
SPEAKER_00
What a profound question.
1
SPEAKER_00
No, and so then I go, well, he.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes, he is.
1
SPEAKER_00
Maybe she, they.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I had to Google, give a Google, of how to explain God.
1
SPEAKER_00
Because I wanted it right, not in dogma or spooky, as George Carlin would say, spooky language.
1
SPEAKER_00
I wanted it to be almost where he goes, oh, got it.
1
SPEAKER_00
And there was a kid his age, he went viral because he explained what God was.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he goes, well, God is energy.
1
SPEAKER_00
Basically, it s in everything.
1
SPEAKER_00
He explained it so well, so I just played the video for him.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, perfect.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m a YouTube parent.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was like, here you go.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he said it so great.
1
SPEAKER_00
I got to give a shout out to that kid, but he says profound stuff.
1
SPEAKER_01
What if he became your new spiritual leader?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
What if he is God?
1
SPEAKER_00
And so the other day I said something and Santi goes, well, God did that.
1
SPEAKER_00
Cause he s the energy source.
1
SPEAKER_00
He had such a smart answer for it.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I said, exactly.
1
SPEAKER_01
I just said simply, a lot of people believe in God.
1
SPEAKER_01
A lot of people don t.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t, but a lot of people do.
1
SPEAKER_01
You re free to do either.
1
SPEAKER_01
So that was all easy for me.
1
SPEAKER_01
But then we got to the, and then what s happening?
1
SPEAKER_01
You re going to die and I m going to die crying.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know, you get to that age where they recognize you re going to die and then they recognize they re going to die.
1
SPEAKER_01
crying, crying, crying.
1
SPEAKER_01
There s nothing to be said.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s a tragedy.
1
SPEAKER_01
We die.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s heartbreaking.
1
SPEAKER_01
There s no silver lining to it, but it s sitting right there.
1
SPEAKER_01
All I got to say is, but in heaven, we ll all see each other.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s so tempting because I could comfort this very scary reality.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s the most tempted I ve ever been to perpetuate the thing that I personally just don t believe is real, but boy, I was so tempting, but then it just passed.
1
SPEAKER_01
Then we were onto the next thing.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, I ve had to use the heaven thing because we ve had pets die.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay, great.
1
SPEAKER_01
As we all know, they go to heaven.
1
SPEAKER_00
Or the pet cemetery, which seems scarier.
1
SPEAKER_00
No, Popeye, our dog, died suddenly and he doesn t understand where he went.
1
SPEAKER_00
So even me saying, we just buried a member, you were there.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he s like, no, but where is he?
1
SPEAKER_00
He really was talking about his soul or whatever.
1
SPEAKER_00
So then I was like, you know, he s in heaven with Judy Garland because my son loves Judy Garland.
1
SPEAKER_00
Betty White.
1
SPEAKER_00
He likes Somewhere Over the Rainbow.
1
SPEAKER_00
So he watches this video and he goes, where is she?
1
SPEAKER_00
And I said, well, she s no longer here.
1
SPEAKER_00
She s not here.
1
SPEAKER_01
Where?
1
SPEAKER_01
What s her location?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_01
Do we have eyes on?
1
SPEAKER_00
She shared her location on the iPhone.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s snowballed.
1
SPEAKER_01
Do we have eyes on?
1
SPEAKER_00
On Judy Garland.
1
SPEAKER_00
So then we re watching Judy Garland.
1
SPEAKER_00
I said, well, she s in heaven.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then it led to Elvis Presley.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he goes, where was he?
1
SPEAKER_00
And I said, he s in heaven as well.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then it was literally every video that kept coming up of songs that he liked was dead people.
1
SPEAKER_01
But what when you get to- It s a snowball.
1
SPEAKER_00
I know it is.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s never ending.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then inevitably, he s going to go, where s Michael Jackson?
1
SPEAKER_02
Or where s Jeffrey Epstein?
1
SPEAKER_01
And you re going to go, well Epstein s easy to say he s in hell, but Mike Jackson.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, more of a middle ground.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s a fact why he might not be.
1
SPEAKER_01
Heaven is a conversation you do not want to have.
1
SPEAKER_01
So our friend was driving in the car with his three daughters and
1
SPEAKER_01
Michael Jackson was on the radio and he kind of painted himself into a corner.
1
SPEAKER_01
He just let out, it s complicated.
1
SPEAKER_01
Something about it s complicated.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then one of the daughters in back goes,
1
SPEAKER_01
What did he do?
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
He said he did some bad stuff.
1
SPEAKER_01
He did some bad stuff.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then she s like, well, what did he do?
1
SPEAKER_01
And he s like, I really don t want to talk about it in the car right now.
1
SPEAKER_01
Maybe we ll sit down and we ll go through it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Beat, beat, beat.
1
SPEAKER_01
Did he smoke cigarettes?
1
SPEAKER_01
The worst thing possible.
1
SPEAKER_01
Couldn t even be talked about in the car.
1
SPEAKER_01
We d have to get home and discuss it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was like, the way young people think about smoking is so comical to me, having grown up inside of a fucking ashtray.
1
SPEAKER_01
Parents, and the windows up, and the cigarettes, everywhere, the airplane.
1
SPEAKER_00
Were you a smoker?
1
SPEAKER_01
I was.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, me too.
1
SPEAKER_00
I smoked for a minute.
1
SPEAKER_00
In fact, when we met... Did we share a cigarette?
1
SPEAKER_01
I had just quit.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
I ve been quit for 16 or 17 years now.
1
SPEAKER_00
I quit 10 years ago, but I smoked for like five years because I dated a Spaniard.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
He was a chimney.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I would be an occasional.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then I met my husband now and he said, I ll never forget that first lunch we had.
1
SPEAKER_00
You must ve smoked 12 cigarettes for lunch.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then maybe I was dating him a month and I was like, I don t want to smoke anymore.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I quit.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s it.
1
SPEAKER_01
You have a very non-addictive personality.
1
SPEAKER_01
You do.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s just a blessing.
1
SPEAKER_01
My wife s that way.
1
SPEAKER_01
When I met her, she smoked like at night with her friends.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then a couple of months went by and I said, well, you kind of effortlessly quit smoking.
1
SPEAKER_01
She goes, I didn t quit.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I go, you haven t smoked in like two months.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
No.
1
SPEAKER_01
Had no recollection.
1
SPEAKER_01
Assume she still smoked.
1
SPEAKER_01
I can t imagine that.
1
SPEAKER_00
But my son, he must have seen this on the interweb, some about smoking.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he said like, I want to smoke.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, absolutely not.
1
SPEAKER_00
You will die.
1
SPEAKER_01
He said he wanted to.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, he s, I want to smoke.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he s four, right?
1
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, no, absolutely not.
1
SPEAKER_00
You will die.
1
SPEAKER_00
He goes, why?
1
SPEAKER_00
And I said, it s toxic.
1
SPEAKER_00
and it kills you slowly and you will die.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like I wanted to be very clear about it.
1
SPEAKER_01
And you will not go to heaven with Judy Garland.
1
SPEAKER_00
You will not be with Judy Garland.
1
SPEAKER_01
That spells for the smokers.
1
SPEAKER_00
So then we go to Spain and I m shooting in Spain where everybody smokes.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he s walking on the street and he goes, excuse me, sir, that s toxic and you re gonna die.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, oh wow.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then he goes to the next person and the next person.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, he s saving their lives.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was like, oh my gosh, I m so sorry.
1
SPEAKER_00
I kept apologizing to people.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m like, I don t know where he got that.
1
SPEAKER_02
Ivo, maybe this is personal, but do you believe in heaven?
1
SPEAKER_00
I do, because I m culturally Catholic.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
I usually have a very big rosary on.
2
SPEAKER_02
I literally realized I forgot to put it on today.
2
SPEAKER_02
No, I grew up very Catholic and I m still practicing Catholic.
2
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, it s complicated now, especially because I m a huge scientist in my head.
2
SPEAKER_02
So the new telescope and we can see the beginning of time a billion years ago, not
2
SPEAKER_02
3,000 years ago.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m a historian and I love facts.
2
SPEAKER_00
We just had the man who has the NASA grant to study for exoplanets around stars to establish some proof of life.
2
SPEAKER_00
You had a real guest on.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s our Thursday, our smarty pants guests.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, he said what well, you know, there s like three or four hundred billion stars in just our galaxy Yeah, our galaxy is one of many many billions of yeah, right So he said there are a trillion billion stars Try to think about that math and that one in five of them have planets on them that could sustain life Oh, so one-fifth of a trillion billion, but how far is that from us?
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh
2
SPEAKER_00
10 light years away is one of them, 100 light years, you know, scattered throughout everywhere.
2
SPEAKER_00
So that s really hard to make peace with the notion that there s probably a couple hundred kabillion life forms somewhere in the universe.
2
SPEAKER_00
When did he create those?
2
SPEAKER_00
When did him do that?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, when did she do that?
2
SPEAKER_02
When did she?
2
SPEAKER_01
Even that, it starts breaking down so quickly.
2
SPEAKER_00
Also, then you apply a gender stereotype, which I have from the era I grew up in, which is, I don t think it is a she, because look at this place.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s so cutthroat and fucking the strongest, dumbest person wins.
2
SPEAKER_00
That can t be a she design.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s gotta be a fucking me design.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like let s give the big boys all the power.
2
SPEAKER_02
But Deepak Chopra is a different, I m just gonna drop that name on this couch.
2
SPEAKER_02
Deepak Chopra.
2
SPEAKER_02
Now I ve known him for many years.
2
SPEAKER_02
He actually has debates of like religion and God or spirituality and science.
2
SPEAKER_02
And he s written several books about it.
2
SPEAKER_02
His conclusion is they coexist.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, we had another great guy, Neil Thiessen, who s a physicist and a fucking oncologist, everything.
2
SPEAKER_01
Very spiritual.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
And he s made peace in some weird way.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was buying him.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it made sense.
2
SPEAKER_00
I got pretty deep.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was like, wow, you got me as close to that as I can experience.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
I want to know if you have it in your heart and in your chest.
2
SPEAKER_00
The only thing I can feel that definitely feels supernatural is the child parent experience.
2
SPEAKER_02
What s supernatural about it?
2
SPEAKER_00
It s so much bigger and weirder than science.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
And she s existed forever and yet hasn t.
2
SPEAKER_00
There s something to me that is fully outside of the world of academia I came from.
2
SPEAKER_00
And that s maybe the only thing in life.
2
SPEAKER_00
So do you have that feeling in many different areas?
2
SPEAKER_02
Love.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m also a Buddhist.
2
SPEAKER_02
Also, there s past life.
2
SPEAKER_02
Of course, we ve been here many times.
2
SPEAKER_02
We call that thing when you re into the stars or signs.
2
SPEAKER_00
Astrology.
2
SPEAKER_02
Astrology.
2
SPEAKER_00
Astrologist.
2
SPEAKER_00
Astronomy s the real thing.
2
SPEAKER_00
Astrology s the- This is the kooky thing.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
With much respect.
2
SPEAKER_00
Right.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I love it.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yes, I m of high seas rising.
2
SPEAKER_02
I love all of it.
2
SPEAKER_02
I am a theologian.
2
SPEAKER_02
Like I m like, ooh, what do you believe?
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I want that.
2
SPEAKER_02
I like the buffet style.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m gonna take past lives from you and I m gonna take hell and heaven from you.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s great.
2
SPEAKER_00
Santa Claus from y all.
2
SPEAKER_02
Santa Claus from you guys and Easter bunny, no.
2
SPEAKER_02
But the past lives thing, I will have so many deja vus with my son or he ll say something.
2
SPEAKER_02
Like, well, when I was a doctor, he ll say it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_00
He ll say it.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was a doctor, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Mom, I was a doctor.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I said, when?
2
SPEAKER_02
And he goes, before.
2
SPEAKER_02
Then I m like, really?
2
SPEAKER_02
Or he just looks at me and he touches my face and he just holds me like my husband would.
2
SPEAKER_00
Right.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like a wise person.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_00
Looking through time.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
I ve known this face for an eternity.
2
SPEAKER_02
That gives me goosebumps.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m not comfortable just calling it love because I ve certainly loved partners tremendously.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I love my mother and my siblings.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, but this is a different kind of love.
2
SPEAKER_00
This is a different thing.
2
SPEAKER_00
It transcends all those things for me.
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, it s like people go, would you ever murder somebody?
2
SPEAKER_02
You go, no.
2
SPEAKER_02
And you re like, if something happened to your child.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Everyone.
2
SPEAKER_00
Everyone.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_02
Zero thought about it.
2
SPEAKER_00
I know.
2
SPEAKER_00
The things I have agreed.
2
SPEAKER_00
We have a friend who has terrible questions all the time.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s like, would you kill this country to save your child?
2
SPEAKER_00
I m like, yes, I know it s amoral, but I would.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what to tell you.
2
SPEAKER_00
Anywho, Corpus Christi.
2
SPEAKER_02
Miss Corpus Christi, 1998.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yes, I know this about you.
2
SPEAKER_00
Very esteemed honor.
2
SPEAKER_02
You and Matthew McConaughey.
2
SPEAKER_00
Little Mr. Texas, although it turns out he wasn t.
2
SPEAKER_00
Do you know this story about him?
2
SPEAKER_00
No.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s great.
2
SPEAKER_00
He grew up believing he had won Little Mr. Texas, and he was in the newspaper his whole life.
2
SPEAKER_00
His mother would introduce him.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know he was Little Mr. Texas when he was six years old.
2
SPEAKER_00
He found the newspaper clip, and he looked closer at the picture, and it says clearly, runner up, Matthew McConaughey.
2
SPEAKER_00
He did not win Little Mr. Texas.
2
SPEAKER_00
But I gotta tell you one funny thing, Corpus Christi, my best friend Aaron Weakley and I, 1993, going into Christmas break, we re gonna take a road trip.
2
SPEAKER_00
We don t know where we re gonna go.
2
SPEAKER_00
Talk about Thomas guide.
2
SPEAKER_00
Got out the Rand McNally, huge map I had in my car.
2
SPEAKER_00
Look in the back, and there are all these tables, and it would do average temperature of a city in December.
2
SPEAKER_00
We literally just went down it, and Corpus Christi was the highest average temperature on Christmas.
2
SPEAKER_00
So we got in the car, and we drove to Corpus Christi.
2
SPEAKER_00
And we got there, this is 1993.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God, I was graduating high school.
2
SPEAKER_00
Me too.
2
SPEAKER_02
You too, us too.
2
SPEAKER_00
And we got there, and we were like, huh.
2
SPEAKER_00
some business buildings.
2
SPEAKER_00
I remember sitting in the middle of the town, no stores, no restaurants.
2
SPEAKER_00
And we were like, what the fuck are we going to do now?
2
SPEAKER_00
And then we discovered that Padre Island was right across the way.
2
SPEAKER_00
And we ended up being there for like six days.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Padre Island s great.
2
SPEAKER_00
What was Corpus Christi like 75 to 93?
2
SPEAKER_02
I grew up on a ranch outside of Corpus.
2
SPEAKER_02
So I would go to school and then our whole summers and almost every weekend we were on the ranch.
2
SPEAKER_02
So it was really almost 50-50 with pigs and chicken.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, that s kind of heaven.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then we would go to school in Corpus Christi.
2
SPEAKER_00
What did mom and dad do?
2
SPEAKER_00
They re Tejano?
2
SPEAKER_00
This is worth exploring.
2
SPEAKER_02
Tejano, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Tejano.
2
SPEAKER_00
So they re original people that settled inside of Texas when it was Mexico.
2
SPEAKER_02
We never crossed the border.
2
SPEAKER_02
The border crossed us.
2
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_00
Post-Mexican-American War, and their family had 4,000 acres on the Rio Grande that was taken once the lines were drawn.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, wow.
2
SPEAKER_02
Much of that land was taken from land barons and just going, ah, and you re gone.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so what did mom and dad do?
2
SPEAKER_02
My mom was a special education teacher.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay, and your sister also was special needs?
2
SPEAKER_00
Because my sister was special needs.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, that s how it started, okay.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, my mom would go to school with her every day and just sit and was terrified.
2
SPEAKER_00
She s like, I might as well be making $6 an hour.
2
SPEAKER_02
I might as well be making $9 an hour.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
How horrible.
2
SPEAKER_02
Teachers are bad.
2
SPEAKER_02
And my mom would go every day with her and the teacher said, you should apply to be a teacher s aide.
2
SPEAKER_02
And every time my sister moved up a grade, she would move up with her.
2
SPEAKER_02
So she was always in the same class as my special needs sister.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then she got her associate s degree to become a teacher.
2
SPEAKER_02
So my mom went to night school and then became a teacher.
2
SPEAKER_02
So she was a special education teacher for 30 years.
2
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then my dad, he worked for the army base in Corpus Christi.
2
SPEAKER_02
Corpus Christi s big military.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yes, military.
2
SPEAKER_00
The neat thing about Padre Island is there s federal beach and there s state beach.
2
SPEAKER_00
They re right next to each other and one of them you can stay for like nine days.
2
SPEAKER_00
You can just camp on the beach and you can drive your car on the beach.
2
SPEAKER_00
Very cool.
2
SPEAKER_00
And many of the people we were bumping into were military people that were either on a leave and they were just bouncing back and forth from the state beach to the federal beach.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yes, tons and tons of- And you can carry a gun.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, sure.
2
SPEAKER_00
In case any of those jellyfish attacks, you re ready to go.
2
SPEAKER_00
So he was Army Corps of Engineers type?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, my dad s smart.
2
SPEAKER_02
And my mom s a teacher, so we were a very academic family.
2
SPEAKER_00
And you re the youngest of four.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m the youngest of four.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m the disappointment.
2
SPEAKER_01
Tell me, yeah, I wanna know what your role- I know, I heard you say that on Vogue Beauty Secrets.
2
SPEAKER_01
I watched that, I love that.
2
SPEAKER_00
You could even say addicted, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s your thing.
2
SPEAKER_01
You say that on there, and you say you re the black sheep, and I was like, I can t.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I mean, my sisters look like you.
2
SPEAKER_00
They re 6 2 and heavily tattooed, big nose.
2
SPEAKER_00
Beard.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, covering up arguably a weak chin.
2
SPEAKER_02
No, I grew up as the ugly dark one, la preta fea, because they look alike.
2
SPEAKER_02
They were all blonde when they were born.
2
SPEAKER_02
And they have like really light eyes, their light skin.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then I came out like a chocolate chip.
2
SPEAKER_02
I was like black hair, dark skin.
2
SPEAKER_00
You re very Latina looking.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m super Latina.
2
SPEAKER_00
They re not.
2
SPEAKER_00
They re not.
2
SPEAKER_02
And are your parents?
2
SPEAKER_02
Was it rumored?
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t look like anybody.
2
SPEAKER_02
But they look alike.
2
SPEAKER_00
Was there a Latino teacher at the school?
2
SPEAKER_02
I ended up doing that DNA, Dr. Gates show.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I was like, mom, just tell me now because it s coming out.
2
SPEAKER_02
And she s like, will you stop?
2
SPEAKER_02
Because my whole life I was like, I know I was adopted or, or.
2
SPEAKER_00
You had some fun.
2
SPEAKER_02
Or, and she s like, really, really, come on.
2
SPEAKER_00
You black sheep.
2
SPEAKER_02
I sat down and they re rolling.
2
SPEAKER_02
And he has this book of all the- This is scary.
2
SPEAKER_02
All the stuff that they re about to tell you, but they want it on camera.
2
SPEAKER_02
And he s like, you are going to be so surprised.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I can t wait.
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_02
Is her mic okay?
2
SPEAKER_02
Are we good?
2
SPEAKER_02
Did we mark?
2
SPEAKER_02
Did we mark it?
2
SPEAKER_02
Right?
2
SPEAKER_02
And then he s saying that and I go, I m so sorry.
2
SPEAKER_02
Hold on.
2
SPEAKER_02
Am I my father s daughter?
2
SPEAKER_02
And he goes,
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_02
You re not going to tell me that on camera.
2
SPEAKER_00
Take your time now.
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_02
But oh my God.
2
SPEAKER_02
I lived for one second and thought he was going to go, and your father s not your father.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, you know that happened to Kerry Washington.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_02
I just did her book tour and I interviewed her.
2
SPEAKER_02
So we laugh about it because it s the same thing as she was going to do that show.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_02
And she did not know her father wasn t her father.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I was like, oh, it s so funny.
2
SPEAKER_02
I was going to use that show to out my mom.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I got you now, lady.
3
SPEAKER_00
Got you over a barrel.
3
SPEAKER_02
You re not a saint.
3
SPEAKER_00
One thing that was shocking about that Gates situation is that you re 70% European.
3
SPEAKER_00
With the Tejano-ness, I would have thought it would have been less, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
Me too.
3
SPEAKER_01
My whole life, I m like, Mexican.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m such a proud Mexican-American.
3
SPEAKER_01
Of course.
3
SPEAKER_01
And that s what was the shocking thing, was he was like, you are mostly Spaniard, still.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, what?
3
SPEAKER_01
I m the colonizer?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes, conquistador.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re the first enemy.
3
SPEAKER_01
But you know, I live half the time in Spain now and I have a house in Spain and I have a show in Spain.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I really feel Spanish as well.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I m like, I am home.
3
SPEAKER_01
We live in Mexico City.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so I m like, this is my land.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I m a patriotic American.
3
SPEAKER_00
And in L.A.
3
SPEAKER_00
you drive around and you re like, yeah, this is my time.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I live in Beverly Hills.
3
SPEAKER_00
Where in Spain?
3
SPEAKER_01
I live in Marbella.
3
SPEAKER_00
Where s Marbella?
3
SPEAKER_01
Marbella.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s in Andalucía, which is Málaga, Córdoba, Sevilla.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s like the South.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s gorgeous.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m learning that I m very ignorant on Spanish geography.
3
SPEAKER_01
I used to be so bad, I never knew where anything was, specifically in the United States.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m like, where is North Dakota?
3
SPEAKER_01
Is that up, down, is that to the right, to the left?
3
SPEAKER_00
There s a clue with the North, but yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Right, but no, that s it.
3
SPEAKER_01
One time I was so bad, I go, I m so bad at geology.
3
SPEAKER_01
And my friend goes, you really are.
3
SPEAKER_00
You really are bad at it.
3
SPEAKER_00
You really, really are terrible.
3
SPEAKER_01
But now I m better.
3
SPEAKER_01
Mostly because my son is amazing.
3
SPEAKER_01
He s like, mom, did you know blah, blah, blah is in Africa and this country?
3
SPEAKER_01
And our stewardess one time was from Romania.
3
SPEAKER_01
And he goes, oh, that s next to blah, blah, blah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, he knew where Romania was.
3
SPEAKER_01
He knew the bordering states of Romania, not just Romania is over here.
3
SPEAKER_01
He was like, oh, so you re next to this and that.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, dad has to be bright.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m just deducing that from his role in his professional life.
3
SPEAKER_01
My baby daddy.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
He s very smart.
3
SPEAKER_01
He s successful.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
He s the president of Televisa.
3
SPEAKER_01
He was.
3
SPEAKER_00
He was.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
But you can t come to occupy that role and be a dum-dum.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, he s very smart.
3
SPEAKER_00
Is that what got you horneous for him?
3
SPEAKER_00
What s his most attractive quality?
3
SPEAKER_01
His most attractive qualities, he s the kindest human being you will ever meet.
3
SPEAKER_01
Meet him right now and you d fall in love.
3
SPEAKER_01
You re like, oh yeah, I love him.
3
SPEAKER_01
I love him more than you.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I realize I m not that nice.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, but this is what I was just going to drill into.
3
SPEAKER_00
Kind, it wouldn t be in my top four things I was looking for in most of my life.
3
SPEAKER_00
Kind sounds boring.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m a little bit of an arousal junkie.
3
SPEAKER_00
So was kind, do you think that was an age thing for you?
3
SPEAKER_00
That you would have put kind as number?
3
SPEAKER_00
Did you always go for kind?
3
SPEAKER_01
I actually, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Kind and talented.
3
SPEAKER_01
People go, you don t even have a type.
3
SPEAKER_01
Cause they would think of everybody I ve been with and nobody looks alike.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, no, I think the common denominators, everybody I ve been with had an amazing talent.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like I was with a composer and then I was with, you know, an athlete.
3
SPEAKER_01
I really admire talent and brains.
3
SPEAKER_00
You pointed at me.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_01
And brains.
3
SPEAKER_00
And it makes me feel so good.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if you re just like acknowledging I said brains or you re...
3
SPEAKER_00
Implying I helped them, but I liked it no matter what.
3
SPEAKER_00
Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.
3
SPEAKER_02
I do think age, though, makes kindness more of a... I do, too.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m now coming to the point where I feel like that s a quality I admire.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, well, you know, it s like when a friend tries to set you up and they re like, he s so nice.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, no thanks.
3
SPEAKER_01
So he s ugly, you know?
3
SPEAKER_01
And my husband, thank God, is so handsome and nice.
3
SPEAKER_02
But I think nice, we ve talked about this before, but I think nice and kind is different.
3
SPEAKER_02
I think kind is deep within.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, in your soul.
3
SPEAKER_02
Good person.
3
SPEAKER_00
You can be a sociopath and be nice.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, exactly.
3
SPEAKER_00
Most of them are.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yes, yes.
3
SPEAKER_02
Nice is a very superficial thing, and I think kindness is a deeper thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
I agree.
3
SPEAKER_01
Everybody asks me that.
3
SPEAKER_01
I always say kind about my husband because it is something so deep in who he is as a human being.
3
SPEAKER_01
He s an amazing son to his mom.
3
SPEAKER_01
If my son can be half the son my husband is to his mom, the way he speaks to his mother, he calls her every morning, he calls her every night, he sees her all the time.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that makes me feel better.
3
SPEAKER_01
I know.
3
SPEAKER_01
Me too.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m not that way.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m like, mom, I talked to you last month.
3
SPEAKER_01
Why do I have to talk to you again?
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
3
SPEAKER_01
I know.
3
SPEAKER_01
But now that they re getting older and now I m like, I need to talk to my mom more.
3
SPEAKER_01
He s a great sibling.
3
SPEAKER_01
He s an amazing dad.
3
SPEAKER_01
That kindness is a huge umbrella trait that leaks into so much.
3
SPEAKER_01
The way he does business with people, the way he shows up in our marriage, it s all connected.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is dicey, but I m just going to be brutally honest.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I remember hearing that Salma Hayek had married a man and that he was the richest man in France.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then I made stupid assumptions about that.
3
SPEAKER_01
No.
3
SPEAKER_01
On her?
3
SPEAKER_00
Maybe like, of course, she got a billionaire.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s a great retirement plan, you know?
3
SPEAKER_00
And then I met him.
3
SPEAKER_00
Have you met both?
3
SPEAKER_01
I love Francois.
3
SPEAKER_00
Francois is so attractive and fucking appealing.
3
SPEAKER_00
And same thing, warm and generous and kind and sexy as fuck.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like in a photo when I d see it, I was like, I m not sure.
3
SPEAKER_00
Was around them.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was like, oh, I m so stupid.
3
SPEAKER_00
This guy s so attractive and hot.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
When she tells a story too, she didn t roll over and was like, woo, a billionaire.
3
SPEAKER_01
She was like, wait, so your dad s money.
3
SPEAKER_01
So you have your dad s money.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_01
But what do you do?
3
SPEAKER_00
She really ran him up and down the flagpole.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
She drilled him and like, okay, but what do you do?
3
SPEAKER_01
And he s like, no, I run this company.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I m doing it very well and it s growing exponentially.
3
SPEAKER_01
And she s an amazing human being.
3
SPEAKER_01
So you go, okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
There s some fun overlap with you guys.
3
SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
In all the most wonderful ways.
3
SPEAKER_01
She s one of my favorite human beings on the planet.
3
SPEAKER_01
I like Francois because she chose him, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
Like I go, okay, that makes sense.
3
SPEAKER_01
I liked Obama because I met Michelle Obama.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I go, okay, well, if you chose him.
3
SPEAKER_00
That is the greatest judge of character.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m glad you re pointing that out.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m pretty critical of rich older dudes who get someone who s just along for the ride and it s going to look pretty.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m like,
3
SPEAKER_00
That s it for you?
3
SPEAKER_00
That s what keeps you entertained?
3
SPEAKER_00
That makes me think you re boring as fuck if you can do that.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I asked somebody that one time, I said, come on, what are you guys talking about?
3
SPEAKER_01
And he s like, we re not.
3
SPEAKER_00
We re fucking.
3
SPEAKER_01
And he says, I don t seek that in a partner.
3
SPEAKER_01
I have that stimulation from my friends, from my business partners.
3
SPEAKER_01
He s not looking to that person to carry that torch.
3
SPEAKER_01
I guess that s fine.
3
SPEAKER_01
But hey, if you know that, then great.
3
SPEAKER_00
I want to be very clear.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m up for anybody who s happy.
3
SPEAKER_00
There s also people that want the role of not talking.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s fine.
3
SPEAKER_00
Everything s fine for everybody.
3
SPEAKER_00
I just personally cannot.
3
SPEAKER_00
Me too.
3
SPEAKER_00
No.
3
SPEAKER_00
I couldn t even, are you this way at all?
3
SPEAKER_00
I could either have one night stands or I could be with you for many, many years.
3
SPEAKER_00
There s no room for the middle ground.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
That was probably in my youth for sure of like, are we getting married?
3
SPEAKER_00
or I just know really quick if I can spend years with you or not.
3
SPEAKER_00
I can t do this thing where it s like, it s pretty obvious we re not going to be together for a while, but I m just going to hang for six months.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s very uncomfortable.
3
SPEAKER_01
I can t do not smart.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s Monica s.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was on a couple of dates.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, it s hard when they re so.
3
SPEAKER_01
pretty, but then it s hard to talk to them.
3
SPEAKER_01
But not even like, there are pretty people that know how to leverage that, which makes them smart.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s true.
3
SPEAKER_01
Which I go, I appreciate that.
3
SPEAKER_01
You got game.
3
SPEAKER_01
You re leveraging, like, I m not smart, so I m going to leverage this.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then there s guys that are pretty and don t know it and are dumb and don t even know how to leverage it.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know what I mean?
3
SPEAKER_00
Let s do something here.
3
SPEAKER_00
Come on.
3
SPEAKER_00
Kind of like your assistant.
3
SPEAKER_00
So let s get on the town with this shit.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s a great outfit.
3
SPEAKER_00
Let s get over to Starbucks or something.
3
SPEAKER_00
Stand in line for a while.
3
SPEAKER_03
Starbucks?
3
SPEAKER_00
You really have not dated in a while.
3
SPEAKER_00
I couldn t think of the name of Earth Cafe, but now I ve got it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Beer one.
3
SPEAKER_01
Why don t you go get a Hailey Bieber smoothie?
3
SPEAKER_01
smoothie, meet somebody for God s sake.
3
SPEAKER_00
Get a couple numbers.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I do think what is it, youth is wasted on the young.
3
SPEAKER_01
I love that saying.
3
SPEAKER_01
I want my 20-year-old body, but I want my 50-year-old brain.
3
SPEAKER_00
I do want to know a little bit about Corpus Christi.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re the black sheep of the family.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what the role of a fourth born, that s a paradigm I m not familiar with.
3
SPEAKER_01
What are you, one of what?
3
SPEAKER_00
I m the middle of three, big age gap.
3
SPEAKER_00
Are you middle child syndrome?
3
SPEAKER_00
I m middle child, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, but do you have that middle?
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, big time.
3
SPEAKER_00
What ones, I guess.
3
SPEAKER_00
Right, I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_00
What are the stereotypes?
3
SPEAKER_00
Isn t it like nobody s paying attention to me?
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, for certain, I was like lost in the shuffle.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then we moved to Hollywood to get the attention I was so duly owed in my childhood.
3
SPEAKER_00
But also kind of a peacemaker, like an arbitrator between stressed out people.
3
SPEAKER_00
There was a baby and a teenager in the house, so it s like, of course there was no fucking... Room for you.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, understandably.
3
SPEAKER_01
Me, I was like an afterthought.
3
SPEAKER_01
So my mom would be like, oh yeah, where did Eva go?
3
SPEAKER_01
Which is funny because I took one of those personality tests.
3
SPEAKER_01
Is it the Enneagrams or something?
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh Enneagrams?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes, so there s nine personalities and you re all of them but you re primarily one of them I was like cheerleader or overachiever like I was in between these two and it said you probably think you re in between these two because you re an overachiever and want to be more than one
3
SPEAKER_01
But I m reading this thing and it said, I self-love, I m very independent.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, yes, I am.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God, I am.
3
SPEAKER_01
I really don t need your validation.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t need attention.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m an actor, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
It literally says you must have had a sick sibling in your household because you go, oh, mom and dad s attention goes to my oldest
4
SPEAKER_00
sister and you can take two routes.
4
SPEAKER_00
One is, why not me?
4
SPEAKER_00
I want attention.
4
SPEAKER_00
When some kids have a sibling with cancer and they go, well, I want cancer.
4
SPEAKER_00
Why does she get to have cancer?
4
SPEAKER_00
It s like that kind of mentality that you don t understand that you don t want that.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t want the mental disability.
4
SPEAKER_00
I want the attention and love that she s getting.
4
SPEAKER_00
Why does she get everything?
4
SPEAKER_03
You want the focus.
4
SPEAKER_00
Right.
4
SPEAKER_00
So you could go that route or you go, Oh, okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
Mom and dad s busy.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m going to self love.
4
SPEAKER_00
And that s the route I happen to take.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know why people ask me like, how did you come up with that?
4
SPEAKER_00
I didn t.
4
SPEAKER_00
It just happened.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_03
I like this explanation a lot.
4
SPEAKER_03
If I m understanding you correctly, the two options on the table, I think one is you re a victim.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_03
And the other one is maybe you recognize the circumstance.
4
SPEAKER_03
In my case, I think it was like, well, I go to this place for six hours a day and I seem to be very popular there.
4
SPEAKER_03
Like I get all the attention there because I m just loud and I make jokes and I love it.
4
SPEAKER_03
I never felt like a victim from it.
4
SPEAKER_00
No.
4
SPEAKER_03
You are a gangster.
4
SPEAKER_03
I ve only been around you a couple of times.
4
SPEAKER_03
We got to work together for a day in New Mexico.
4
SPEAKER_03
I was delighted that you remembered when you walked in.
4
SPEAKER_03
I was like, oh, she remembers.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was so excited.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was like, I m going to be in a text
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes, I did.
4
SPEAKER_00
Not a Dane Cook movie.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no.
4
SPEAKER_01
A Jack Shepard movie.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it was because my friend Jessica Simpson was in the film, and she s like, will you come do this cameo?
4
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, with Jack Shepard?
4
SPEAKER_00
With Jack Shepard.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, how flattering.
4
SPEAKER_03
I know, that news did not get to me until just now.
4
SPEAKER_03
You would have thought Jessica could have passed that along to me.
4
SPEAKER_00
No.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was so excited, and I was like, only one day?
4
SPEAKER_00
You guys don t need me for more?
4
SPEAKER_00
You guys were like, no, it s kind of, it s just a flashback.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s like a little.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, I had a very fun day.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then I was cut out of the movie.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, no.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then they cut me out of the movie.
4
SPEAKER_00
I do want to talk about what you did direct with my dear friend, Michael Peña.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, yes.
4
SPEAKER_03
Chips.
4
SPEAKER_03
Isn t he fucking brilliant?
4
SPEAKER_00
That movie s amazing.
4
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
4
SPEAKER_00
Amazing.
4
SPEAKER_00
You don t understand the slow-mo of the penis hitting you in the face.
4
SPEAKER_00
All of it.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s my kind of funny.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s what I always say.
4
SPEAKER_00
When people go, do you like so-and-so?
4
SPEAKER_00
I was like, I don t like his movies.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s not my kind of funny.
4
SPEAKER_00
You are my kind of funny.
4
SPEAKER_03
Wow.
4
SPEAKER_00
Michael s my kind of funny.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_03
What he is great at, and which I love, is he plays everything dead serious.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
Which is, for me, the way comedy should always be played.
4
100%.
4
SPEAKER_03
You should be sincere, never in on the joke, and Peña can do it all.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
He s so, so good.
4
SPEAKER_02
That s just because he s such a good actor.
4
SPEAKER_03
But he understands funny, too, right?
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
He also understands what he needs to do to set up the other guy.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s true.
4
SPEAKER_00
Michael and I did a dramatic movie together, very dramatic.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m a comedy actress, he s mostly comedy.
4
SPEAKER_00
We show up, the director s like,
4
SPEAKER_00
Great.
4
SPEAKER_01
I have you two.
4
SPEAKER_00
We re like, no, we can do this.
4
SPEAKER_00
We really can.
4
SPEAKER_00
Stop laughing.
4
SPEAKER_00
Stop laughing.
4
SPEAKER_00
But he s so good.
4
SPEAKER_00
I love Michael.
4
SPEAKER_00
But that s also the era I loved because it wasn t a spoof, but it was like an homage to Chips and Eric Estrada.
4
SPEAKER_03
And he was so fun.
4
SPEAKER_00
Come on.
4
SPEAKER_03
He was so fun.
4
SPEAKER_03
But back to 05 or 06.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, I know for sure because I found the photos.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, did you?
4
SPEAKER_03
I m going to send them.
4
SPEAKER_03
I m going to show them to you.
4
SPEAKER_00
Baby, this is almost 20 years ago.
4
SPEAKER_00
First I m gonna show Monica.
4
SPEAKER_00
Let me see this.
4
SPEAKER_00
Where did you get these, by the way?
4
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
4
SPEAKER_03
It s not like we had iPhones.
4
SPEAKER_03
Listen, my very first digital camera.
4
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
4
SPEAKER_03
I gotta tell you the whole thing.
4
SPEAKER_03
So I got that movie.
4
SPEAKER_03
They paid me so much money to do that movie.
4
SPEAKER_03
I hadn t made a ton of money yet.
4
SPEAKER_00
Look at my tits.
4
SPEAKER_03
I know, they re enormous in this photo.
4
SPEAKER_00
But you know what, it was the bra, because they told me, they go, we need you like va-va-voom.
4
SPEAKER_00
So they gave me one of those like big water.
4
SPEAKER_03
Scroll to the left or right, you re gonna find more of us.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
4
SPEAKER_00
Was it, Dane looked like that in that photo?
4
SPEAKER_00
What s that guy s name?
4
SPEAKER_03
Greg Coolidge, the director.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes, I knew that.
4
SPEAKER_00
Looks like Jess.
4
SPEAKER_03
Sure, a little bit.
4
SPEAKER_00
From far away.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, what a look.
4
SPEAKER_03
What a look.
4
SPEAKER_03
Those are rough.
4
SPEAKER_03
When I pulled them up, you looked exactly how you looked in my memory.
4
SPEAKER_03
But when I saw me, I was like, Jesus, I do not want to show these pictures.
4
SPEAKER_00
You look so little.
4
SPEAKER_00
That is not you.
4
SPEAKER_03
I know.
4
SPEAKER_03
How weird is that?
4
SPEAKER_00
You look like a nerdy guy in high school.
4
SPEAKER_03
It s not a great hairdo for me, the character.
4
SPEAKER_03
With the bleached on and the brushed bangs.
4
SPEAKER_00
And the comb, what is it, the Caesar?
4
SPEAKER_00
Caesar, yeah, not a great look.
4
SPEAKER_00
George Clooney.
4
SPEAKER_03
He made it famous.
4
SPEAKER_00
Were you trying to be George Clooney?
4
SPEAKER_03
Well, I was trying to be a turd.
4
SPEAKER_03
I play a douchebag in the movie, so I was trying to look as bad as I could, and I achieved my goal.
4
SPEAKER_00
You don t look bad, you just look young.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, you just don t look like you.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes, you look like a 12-year-old version of you.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, it s not great.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I want those.
4
SPEAKER_00
Can I have them?
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, of course.
4
SPEAKER_03
I ll send those to you.
4
SPEAKER_00
You look the same.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yes, you do.
4
SPEAKER_00
You really do.
4
SPEAKER_00
You look exactly the same.
4
SPEAKER_00
I remember, you know, Dane was a big deal in that moment.
4
SPEAKER_00
You were such a big deal.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was a big deal.
4
SPEAKER_00
No.
4
SPEAKER_03
You were a big deal.
4
SPEAKER_03
Jessica was a huge deal.
4
SPEAKER_03
Jessica was huge.
4
SPEAKER_00
I stayed at her house when I was shooting that.
4
SPEAKER_03
In Santa Fe or in Albuquerque?
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t remember where that had been shot.
4
SPEAKER_03
Okay, it was in New Mexico.
4
SPEAKER_03
We started in Santa Fe, which was lovely.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, it was definitely Albuquerque.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
I would have remembered Santa Fe.
4
SPEAKER_03
Well, it s lovely.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s lovely, you know, being specific.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s like Adobe.
4
SPEAKER_00
Exactly, good food.
4
SPEAKER_00
Albuquerque looks like L.A.
4
SPEAKER_00
I ve shot two movies.
4
SPEAKER_00
I shot Flaming Hot in Albuquerque.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you did?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
Okay, I have two questions about Desperate Housewives, and then we re gonna talk about Flaming Hot.
4
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_03
But one is, first of all, I was on that universe a lot with Paranoid for six years.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh yes, you were.
4
SPEAKER_00
I knew this.
4
SPEAKER_03
And we did our Halloween scene on that street.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
And it was all like- Wisteria Lane.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_03
It s still very alive there.
4
SPEAKER_03
It s very iconic now.
4
SPEAKER_00
I see it in every movie commercial.
4
SPEAKER_00
I go, ah, you cannot disguise that street.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_03
And now people know they know it, but they don t know they know it.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
It s pretty cool.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s like John Travolta, I think, has a Citibank commercial right now.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, ah, that s Wisteria Lane.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, you just passed my house.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yep, that s me.
4
SPEAKER_03
My curiosity now, like way after the fact, is the rumored gossipy stuff that no one got along.
4
SPEAKER_03
How much of it was factual and how much we would now see is just like this narrative about women that there s like no way these women could get along.
4
SPEAKER_00
I remember even back then it was a narrative about women.
4
SPEAKER_00
Because there was all these shows with men on the air and nobody was like, they re fighting.
4
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
4
SPEAKER_00
What is it, Dylan McDermott fighting?
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what shows were on, but I was a baby too.
4
SPEAKER_00
Felicity and Marsha and Terry had all had hit shows.
4
SPEAKER_00
This was another hit show.
4
SPEAKER_00
They had Melrose Place and Lois & Clark and Sports Night.
4
SPEAKER_00
I remember when we were asked to be on Oprah and I was like, we re gonna be on Oprah!
4
SPEAKER_00
Like I could have died that day and all three of them were like, I ve been on.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was like, oh, I mean, okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s not a big deal.
4
SPEAKER_00
But meaning like they all had such a better handle on fame on that narrative.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m like, you guys are saying we re fighting.
4
SPEAKER_00
They re like, well, that s just a narrative that they do on women because we re over 40 in a television show.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
I wasn t even that smart to understand that.
4
SPEAKER_03
That feels comforting if everyone s kind of in on it.
4
SPEAKER_03
I would just think, everyone shut the fuck up.
4
SPEAKER_03
Why are they saying that?
4
SPEAKER_03
Like I could imagine being hurt about it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, hurt?
4
SPEAKER_00
No.
4
SPEAKER_00
Also, we were working so hard.
4
SPEAKER_00
Anything that happened outside the show, we were like, what?
4
SPEAKER_00
We could never come up for air to really get outside of ourselves.
4
SPEAKER_00
We were only on this set 24 years for a decade, basically.
4
SPEAKER_00
And so we had six weeks off.
4
SPEAKER_03
and you d do a movie or something.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I couldn t do a movie.
4
SPEAKER_00
I maybe did three movies, the whole Desperate Housewives.
4
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yours being one of them.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I remember that noise being outside of us.
4
SPEAKER_00
We were in such a bubble with our crew and each other.
4
SPEAKER_00
We could only talk to each other about like, isn t this suck?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, of course.
4
SPEAKER_00
You can t really complain.
4
SPEAKER_03
Right.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I remember going to, I don t know if it was me and Felicity or me and Nicolette, but we had to go to London for press because the show was a global phenomenon.
4
SPEAKER_03
I just read this, 120 million global viewers.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s bigger than the Superbowl.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s insane.
4
SPEAKER_00
Just the United States was 30 million.
4
SPEAKER_03
There s no show on now.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, and I feel like we were one of the last hits out of Hitsville TV.
4
SPEAKER_00
After that streaming came and then that was the end of that era.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I remember going to London and we re pulling up to our hotel and there s fans for blocks, but like, Oh, I wonder what s happening here.
4
SPEAKER_00
Is there a concert happening?
4
SPEAKER_00
And then we get to the hotel and it s like,
4
SPEAKER_00
I asked the driver, I was like, oh my God, who s here?
4
SPEAKER_00
And he goes, you.
4
SPEAKER_01
Who s here?
4
SPEAKER_00
No, no, I mean, is it like U2, Madonna?
4
SPEAKER_00
Is 007 inside?
4
SPEAKER_00
Somebody s in this hotel that these people are trying to get to.
4
SPEAKER_00
And he was so confused that I was confused.
4
SPEAKER_00
Because I tell you, I didn t understand it.
4
SPEAKER_00
So all that stuff of we re fighting, even like number one show, you re amazing.
4
SPEAKER_00
Good and bad didn t penetrate because we were working and I was exhausted.
4
SPEAKER_00
We worked 18 hour days.
4
SPEAKER_00
We would have photo shoots on the weekends.
4
SPEAKER_03
The machine was just running.
4
SPEAKER_00
And Marsha would say that every time we d have a hiatus and we d come back to our first table read, she s like, plug us in because you have no control of your schedule.
4
SPEAKER_00
You can t go to the gynecologist.
4
SPEAKER_00
You can t go to the dentist.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s hard.
4
SPEAKER_00
She s like, you re plugged in for 11 months and then they unplug you and you can kind of...
4
SPEAKER_00
But people ask me that a lot.
4
SPEAKER_00
They re like, were you guys really fighting?
4
SPEAKER_00
I was like, God, I forgot that was a thing.
4
SPEAKER_00
It was a thing.
4
SPEAKER_00
It was a big thing.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
I don t think I was savvy enough though at the time to recognize, oh, this is what they do every time.
4
SPEAKER_00
To women.
4
SPEAKER_00
To women.
4
SPEAKER_00
And women of a certain age as well.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I remember when I hosted SNL and Tina Fey, we spoofed it where she s like, let s spoof you guys fighting.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was like, okay, that d be funny.
4
SPEAKER_00
It was a thing because if it made a skit on SNL, then you know you were in pop culture.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, it s like the ultimate.
4
SPEAKER_00
You ve arrived.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_02
Probably a blessing that you were so inundated, though, because that would have been so weird for you to have felt all of it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
The extreme fame so fast.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Also, I moved to Hollywood four years.
4
SPEAKER_00
So and I d been working and working.
5
SPEAKER_00
working and working and working, and I touched every rung of the ladder.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was an extra.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was like, I just want to be an extra.
5
SPEAKER_00
I want to be on a set.
5
SPEAKER_00
Then I had one line, then I had two lines, and I had five lines, and I was a co-star.
5
SPEAKER_00
It wasn t like I was spotted at Starbucks.
5
SPEAKER_00
By the time I had that audition, I was like, I m the only one.
5
SPEAKER_02
Well, you had already done Young and the Restless for two or three years.
5
SPEAKER_00
Three years, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
Okay, two of my favorite things.
5
SPEAKER_02
One is, maybe this is apocryphal or it s real, but your first time on TV, was it on Beverly Hills 90210?
5
SPEAKER_00
First line.
5
SPEAKER_02
Okay, but listen, growing up, we re the same age.
5
SPEAKER_02
I fucking loved 90210.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, are you kidding?
5
SPEAKER_02
You were in Texas watching it, and then you walked in and you were in it.
5
SPEAKER_02
With Luke Perry.
5
SPEAKER_02
Is that maybe, that s about as good as it can get.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I was like, I can move home now.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was on 90210.
5
SPEAKER_00
With Luke Perry.
5
SPEAKER_00
With Luke Perry.
5
SPEAKER_00
I had one line.
5
SPEAKER_00
You remember it?
5
SPEAKER_00
No.
5
SPEAKER_00
I ll find it on YouTube.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, honey, I barely remember my name.
5
SPEAKER_00
He s like, is so and so on that plane?
5
SPEAKER_00
I go, honey, I don t even know my name or something like that.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I remember Tori Spelling directed that episode.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, no kidding.
5
SPEAKER_00
I also remember I was like, oh, you can direct.
5
SPEAKER_00
I remember actually that entering my head of like, but she s an actor and that you could be a multi hyphenate.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s funny because that was the only thing I had done for like the whole year.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then I was asked to be in a celebrity bowling tournament or something.
5
SPEAKER_00
Me and Wilmer Valderrama.
5
SPEAKER_00
Wonderful.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_00
He s so nice and calm.
5
SPEAKER_00
And me and Wilmer had just started that 70s show.
5
SPEAKER_00
And so we re there at this celebrity, all I have on my resume is 90210.
5
SPEAKER_00
And the guy who introduced us, you know, introduced Wilmer, he goes, Wilmer Tagalamama.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
5
SPEAKER_00
Couldn t even say his name.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then me, he goes, Eva Longoria.
5
SPEAKER_00
From 90,210.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, no!
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s great.
5
90,210.
5
SPEAKER_00
Sir, I think it s 90210.
5
SPEAKER_01
I think people know it as 90210.
5
SPEAKER_01
From 90,210, please welcome Eva Bluglow-Lugo.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t know why it just hit me that it s weird we say 90210 instead of 90210.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh.
5
SPEAKER_02
Why do we do that?
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, like, how do you say the actual, how do you say your business managers?
5
SPEAKER_02
Right, 90212.
5
SPEAKER_02
Because I remember 90210.
5
SPEAKER_02
I don t live at my business manager, so the only way I actually remember that zip code is from the show.
5
SPEAKER_02
From the show, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I just go, oh, it s the truth.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, wait, I ll be in.
5
SPEAKER_00
London and they need my billing address.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I go, blah, blah, blah, blah, 90212.
5
SPEAKER_00
They go, oh, 9021.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like even they, like, it s not just an American thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s a global thing.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, so that was my first speaking role and I was very excited about it.
5
SPEAKER_02
The other thing I ve had a few guests on that have done soap operas, the notion of shooting 30 pages a day or whatever it is, is so funny to me.
5
SPEAKER_02
What is it like?
5
SPEAKER_02
Hard.
5
SPEAKER_02
For the rest of your career, at least you can memorize dialogue.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I m so good at dialogue.
5
SPEAKER_00
People get surprised.
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you think because of that?
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah, 100%.
5
SPEAKER_00
Although you cannot say being on a soap is a great training ground, because they get very offended.
5
SPEAKER_02
Okay, and I don t mean disrespect.
5
SPEAKER_00
No, I m sparing you the cancellation from daytime fans.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I will say, I think I started with the hardest genre.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_00
Not just because of 30 pages a day, because the
5
SPEAKER_00
acting required to deliver that much dialogue and scenes and work daily.
5
SPEAKER_00
You re going to cry.
5
SPEAKER_00
Now you re going to go have sex, but now you re going to go slap this person.
5
SPEAKER_00
People are like, oh my God, it s so silly.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s not.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s so hard.
5
SPEAKER_00
And so then I went from that to Desperate Housewives, which was
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, we re doing three pages today, like what?
5
SPEAKER_00
Walk in the park.
5
SPEAKER_00
To doing sitcom, I feel like I did start.
5
SPEAKER_00
Daytime television is the hardest genre you can do.
5
SPEAKER_00
It takes really talented people to stay in it.
5
SPEAKER_02
Absolutely, the endurance of it.
5
SPEAKER_00
The endurance and the blocking and the speed.
5
SPEAKER_00
We re gonna block here, you re gonna go there.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay, are we ready?
5
SPEAKER_00
Five, four, three.
5
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
5
SPEAKER_02
I would argue as well, and again, I m on thin ice here, potentially be offensive what I m about to say, but I think it s true that those programs
5
SPEAKER_02
The star of the show is the show above all other genres.
5
SPEAKER_02
What I mean by that is you re going to have to do some things that are kind of crazy that if you were in a drama with fucking whoever directing and you had days, you d go like, man, I just don t relate to this.
5
SPEAKER_02
And you d have to figure out how you relate to it and find a way in.
5
SPEAKER_02
But this it s coming so hot and fast that I think you could learn to just commit.
5
SPEAKER_02
And that s a valuable skill to learn.
5
SPEAKER_02
Like, I m not gonna connect with double-crossing my best friend to murder her husband and, you know, I don t even know where to find purchase with that, but I can fucking commit.
5
SPEAKER_02
And I feel like that s a really good skill to pick up early on.
5
SPEAKER_00
Not only that, divas of daytime are men.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, interesting.
5
SPEAKER_00
Isn t that interesting?
5
SPEAKER_00
Really?
5
SPEAKER_00
This is stereotypical if there are such things as divas, but they re like, oh, divas of primetime are women.
5
SPEAKER_00
The divas of daytime, men.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh wow.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like you re the ones that are like, where s my coffee?
5
SPEAKER_02
Oh, okay.
5
SPEAKER_02
A lot of cool things about that show.
5
SPEAKER_02
Again, I didn t know about 120 million global viewers.
5
SPEAKER_02
Also most episodes of a female lead cast ever.
5
SPEAKER_01
No.
5
SPEAKER_02
When you guys ended, you had beat Charmed for the very most amount of episodes ever done with a female cast.
5
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that s cool.
5
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I love Charmed.
5
SPEAKER_01
I think.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, me too.
5
SPEAKER_01
I think that s amazing.
5
SPEAKER_01
And how many are there?
5
SPEAKER_01
There aren t that many.
5
SPEAKER_00
The most!
5
SPEAKER_00
Of how many?
5
SPEAKER_00
Of the only.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
But 180 episodes is a ton.
5
SPEAKER_01
No, it s incredible.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s more of a comment on society.
5
SPEAKER_00
But when you say it too, Desperados was amazing and I m so thankful and grateful for it, but I refuse to believe that my greatest success is behind me.
5
SPEAKER_00
Right.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like when you say that, when you go, look at this, you did this so long ago.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, right, but wait till you see what I m doing next.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I don t know what it is, but.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Also how you measure success changes too.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I hear those things and I don t know those.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
5
SPEAKER_00
Like I m like, did we do 180?
5
SPEAKER_02
This is a very interesting potential rivulet for us to put our boats in.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_02
So for me, I came out on Punk d.
5
SPEAKER_02
It was a quote, reality show.
5
SPEAKER_02
When I started doing movies and stuff, the interviewers would always go like, well, what s it like to act now?
5
SPEAKER_02
And I was always so offended by that.
5
SPEAKER_02
I m like, well, the highest form of acting was me convincing these people this thing really happened.
5
SPEAKER_02
You know, I was so defensive.
5
SPEAKER_02
And also, reality show, reality show.
5
SPEAKER_02
Oh, he s a reality show guy who got to do blah, blah, blah.
5
SPEAKER_02
I ran from that show, embarrassingly so, because I love Kutcher, and it gave me everything.
5
SPEAKER_02
I bet maybe four or five years ago, I started going,
5
SPEAKER_02
Fuckin  A, I m proud that I was on that show.
5
SPEAKER_02
Like, that was hard.
5
SPEAKER_02
We launched it.
5
SPEAKER_02
I did a good job.
5
SPEAKER_02
I m fuckin  proud.
5
SPEAKER_02
But it took me 15 years away from it to actually be able to be grateful and proud.
5
SPEAKER_02
I m wondering for you what the experience is, because again, yeah, punk always comes up for me.
5
SPEAKER_02
That s so long ago.
5
SPEAKER_02
Idiography s so long ago.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I love idiography.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was getting on what I loved that moment.
5
SPEAKER_02
They have this weird life of their own, right, where it s like, for a while, you just want to shut the fuck up about it.
5
SPEAKER_02
I don t want to hear about it.
5
SPEAKER_00
No, I ve never been that way.
5
SPEAKER_00
I love being called Gabby in an airport.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I have a friend of mine, a Maori, who was on prison break, and he played Sucre.
5
SPEAKER_00
So we ll be, you know, in London or Paris, people go, Sucre!
5
SPEAKER_00
And he goes, ugh!
5
SPEAKER_00
Ugh!
5
SPEAKER_00
And I go, you ve gotta be grateful that they know who that is, that they know who you are.
5
SPEAKER_00
He s turned a corner now.
5
SPEAKER_00
He likes it.
5
SPEAKER_00
He s like, you know what?
5
SPEAKER_00
It is nice.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I ve always been that way.
5
SPEAKER_00
I ve always been so grateful.
5
SPEAKER_00
And people go, there s gonna be a reboot.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, I hope so.
5
SPEAKER_00
I ll be the first one to show up.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m already on Mysterio Lane.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I was grateful in the moment.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was like, you guys, isn t this cool?
5
SPEAKER_00
There s fucking tuna sandwiches at Crafty that somebody s making.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like they didn t come pre-wrapped.
5
SPEAKER_00
Fresh.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_01
That comes from being the extra and then the co-star.
5
SPEAKER_01
You tasted every piece of it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was just happy to work.
5
SPEAKER_00
Didn t you also, you got your master s during this period?
5
SPEAKER_00
During Desperate Housewives, yes.
5
SPEAKER_02
Chicano Studies master s.
5
SPEAKER_02
How on earth, knowing the schedule we just heard,
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, this was in year six, maybe.
5
SPEAKER_00
So we were kind of a well-oiled machine.
5
SPEAKER_00
We still worked 18-hour days, but I was like, I have to do night school Tuesdays and Thursdays.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I would do night school during Desperate Housewives.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I d drive out to Northridge.
5
SPEAKER_02
And what was it like to be on that show at its height and then rolling into class?
5
SPEAKER_02
Were people so fucked up?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, well, I felt like the alien.
5
SPEAKER_00
I wasn t the novelty.
5
SPEAKER_00
It was like they were all 22-year-olds so fresh in their academic journey.
5
SPEAKER_00
They were like, we should lay Oedipus theory upon this and let s see what happens.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, what is Oedipus theory?
5
SPEAKER_00
Because it was so fresh for them and so far for me.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know, I was only 30 something.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was still young, but I remember feeling old and they were so smart.
5
SPEAKER_02
You were 33 when you graduated.
5
SPEAKER_02
30, let s see, 75, 25.
5
SPEAKER_02
38 when you graduated.
5
SPEAKER_02
So you probably started at 35.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, for me, I was like, I was so young.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was your age.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I loved it though.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I didn t mean to get my master s.
5
SPEAKER_00
I accidentally got my master s in the sense of like, I wanted to learn more about my political activism.
5
SPEAKER_00
And so I was like, but why is it that?
5
SPEAKER_00
Or what happened with the immigration policies?
5
SPEAKER_00
A friend of mine gave me a book and I read the book called Occupied America.
5
SPEAKER_00
And it was like, oh my God.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I look in the back.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I was like, I would love to meet this author.
5
SPEAKER_00
I just want to call and have coffee with him.
5
SPEAKER_00
And he was at Northridge.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, oh my gosh, I m going to go sit and have coffee with him.
5
SPEAKER_00
And he convinced me to take like Chicano 101.
5
SPEAKER_00
He s like, just take like a basis overview of what this discipline is.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, okay, great.
5
SPEAKER_00
Took that.
5
SPEAKER_00
I loved it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Then he s like, you should take this other class.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s Chicano feminism.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, oh my God, yes.
5
SPEAKER_00
And so I took that class.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then I took another class.
5
SPEAKER_00
And finally the college was like, you must enroll.
5
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_02
They re like, enough of this.
5
SPEAKER_02
You can t just keep taking classes.
5
SPEAKER_00
Stop flirting with us.
5
SPEAKER_02
You gotta ask us out.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then I was like, oh my God.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then I had to take the master s test.
5
SPEAKER_00
What is it?
5
SPEAKER_00
The GMAT?
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t remember what it was.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
To get in.
5
SPEAKER_00
To get into a master s.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, oh my God.
5
SPEAKER_00
All of it was like gone from my brain.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I had to read.
5
SPEAKER_02
Cause you already had a degree in kinesiology.
5
SPEAKER_02
Just really quick.
5
SPEAKER_02
What was your goal when you majored in?
6
SPEAKER_02
to be a physical therapist.
6
SPEAKER_02
My dream was to work for the Dallas Cowboys.
6
SPEAKER_02
I wanted to be a sports trainer.
6
SPEAKER_02
Cut to like my college year and I m just taping ankles at college for football players.
6
SPEAKER_02
And I was like, I don t know if this is what I imagined and never used it since.
6
SPEAKER_01
Do you think though that that base knowledge as you ve
6
SPEAKER_01
lived through every conceivable fad of working out, having an actual scientific knowledge of how the body moves, you could go, that s bullshit.
6
SPEAKER_02
Or yeah, that doesn t work for my body.
6
SPEAKER_02
I was a trainer.
6
SPEAKER_02
I was an aerobics instructor in college.
6
SPEAKER_02
Like I had 18 jobs.
6
SPEAKER_02
It definitely benefits me with, as you get older, my hips are tight or, you know, whatever it is, it definitely comes in.
6
SPEAKER_01
What is your primary exercise?
6
SPEAKER_02
Weight training.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I hear you.
6
SPEAKER_02
Heavy weights.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then I balance.
6
SPEAKER_01
Do you read Peter Attia s book, Outlive?
6
SPEAKER_02
No.
6
SPEAKER_02
I know who he is.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
Great book.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m into the cold plunging.
6
SPEAKER_02
Same.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yay.
6
SPEAKER_01
Love it.
6
SPEAKER_02
I know.
6
SPEAKER_02
You re just awake all day.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
You re just like this.
6
SPEAKER_02
Hi.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m, I m ready.
6
SPEAKER_01
Also, it clears your thinking up in three minutes.
6
SPEAKER_02
Did you read Iceman?
6
SPEAKER_02
I ve read Iceman.
6
SPEAKER_02
I do read Iceman.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m into biohacking.
6
SPEAKER_01
You like Huberman?
6
SPEAKER_02
I love Huberman.
6
SPEAKER_02
Oh my god.
6
SPEAKER_02
I love his podcast.
6
SPEAKER_02
I love Gary from 10x.
6
SPEAKER_02
I listen to him a lot.
6
SPEAKER_02
He s like another great biohacker.
6
SPEAKER_02
My thing is not about getting old.
6
SPEAKER_02
We re all going to get old.
6
SPEAKER_02
I don t want to age badly.
6
SPEAKER_02
I want to
6
SPEAKER_02
be agile.
6
SPEAKER_02
I want to get up.
6
SPEAKER_02
I want to play with my kids.
6
SPEAKER_02
I want my joints not to hurt.
6
SPEAKER_02
I don t care if I have a wrinkle.
6
SPEAKER_02
That s not what I m trying to hack into.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m trying to hack into being efficient.
6
SPEAKER_01
Having the lifestyle you want to have.
6
SPEAKER_02
Right.
6
SPEAKER_02
I want to travel.
6
SPEAKER_02
I want to climb a pyramid.
6
SPEAKER_01
So you ll love the Atiyah book.
6
SPEAKER_01
He starts with all of his patients by saying, what do you want to do in the last 10 years of your life?
6
SPEAKER_01
So let s list those goals.
6
SPEAKER_01
It doesn t matter whatever your goals are.
6
SPEAKER_01
There s no hierarchy.
6
SPEAKER_01
Could be walk for three miles on the beach with your grandkids.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then he breaks down how much VO2 max you need for that, how much strength you need to do that.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then you work backwards.
6
SPEAKER_01
You can go, OK, well, you declined 8% a decade.
6
SPEAKER_01
So if you want to be able to have this oxygen output with this amount of strength, then
6
SPEAKER_01
Today, you have to be able to deadlift twice your weight and have grip strength of this.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
Are you weight training mostly?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
I love it.
6
SPEAKER_02
He says specifically for women, we should be weight training.
6
SPEAKER_02
Because of osteoporosis.
6
SPEAKER_02
Nothing changes your body except heavy weight, like Pilates for 10 years.
6
SPEAKER_02
Great maintenance.
6
SPEAKER_01
But also the very common chronic diseases that women will get, osteoporosis being one of them, the very best solution to that is heavy weight training.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I used to be a runner and I would have bad knees and my trainer s like, we got to strengthen your quads.
6
SPEAKER_02
And so once I just started doing heavy lifting, my quads strengthened, my knee problem went away.
6
SPEAKER_01
Exact same.
6
SPEAKER_02
I was like, what?
6
SPEAKER_01
And lower back.
6
SPEAKER_01
No body issues now that I specifically like.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I have tennis elbow now, which is crazy.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, congratulations.
6
SPEAKER_01
From your pickleball?
6
SPEAKER_02
From my paddle.
6
SPEAKER_02
From my paddle tennis.
6
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
6
SPEAKER_00
Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.
6
SPEAKER_01
So we re in an interesting situation and we can cut this part out, but you know, this might shock you.
6
SPEAKER_01
We are in it.
6
SPEAKER_02
You are not your father s daughter.
6
SPEAKER_01
I ve got some updated info from Gates.
6
SPEAKER_02
Dr. Springer, Jerry Springer.
6
SPEAKER_01
Bring them in Rob.
6
SPEAKER_01
The most Mexican looking dude you ve ever seen rolls in.
6
SPEAKER_01
Poncho on, whole nine.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s Eric Estrada.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yes, it s Estrada.
6
SPEAKER_01
We interviewed Richard when the story came out, the Flamin  Hot story.
6
SPEAKER_02
Oh, Richard Montanez.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
6
SPEAKER_01
I was afraid to pronounce his last name incorrectly in front of you.
6
SPEAKER_02
You can say Montanez.
6
SPEAKER_01
Montanez.
6
SPEAKER_01
Montanez.
6
SPEAKER_02
I can say that Montanez.
6
SPEAKER_02
Mont, like a... Montanez.
6
SPEAKER_01
Montanez.
6
SPEAKER_01
Montanez.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay, Richard Montanez.
6
SPEAKER_01
So we interviewed him years ago.
6
SPEAKER_01
You did?
6
SPEAKER_01
Here?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
6
SPEAKER_03
It was over Zoom.
6
SPEAKER_03
It must have been maybe COVID-y.
6
SPEAKER_01
And we loved him.
6
SPEAKER_01
He s great.
6
SPEAKER_01
He s such a sweet person.
6
SPEAKER_01
And his story is so interesting aside from the... From the Cheetos.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
6
SPEAKER_01
How he grew up in the fucking Riverside area.
6
SPEAKER_01
Almost the day after we recorded with him, there was this LA Times piece that his story wasn t potentially true.
6
SPEAKER_01
And we were just like really stuck between, we didn t know what to do.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like we loved this guy, but we didn t know, like this LA Times is saying that s not true.
6
SPEAKER_01
We didn t know what to do.
6
SPEAKER_01
And it s one of the only episodes we didn t ever air.
6
SPEAKER_03
We didn t, and I would say if it had been now, we would have aired it.
6
SPEAKER_03
Knowing us.
6
SPEAKER_03
I think we would have aired it and then maybe at the intro said, hey, this exists.
6
SPEAKER_03
We don t really know anything else, but we loved this person in this interview.
6
SPEAKER_03
But then we were like, oh, maybe we should wait and see if it is true or it isn t true and then we never got more info.
6
SPEAKER_01
We were hoping that there would be some resolution to it.
6
SPEAKER_03
So it s always like, we ll release it when we have that.
6
SPEAKER_03
Well, there was though.
6
SPEAKER_02
Pepsi put out a statement.
6
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
6
SPEAKER_02
Can you clarify?
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
Because, you know, Pepsi owns Frito-Lay and this chemist had come out saying he didn t invent Flamin  Hot.
6
SPEAKER_02
I did.
6
SPEAKER_02
And we re like, right.
6
SPEAKER_02
That can also be true in his book.
6
SPEAKER_02
And in the movie, we never say he s the food chemist that worked in a food lab and mixed maltodextrin with glucamocus and whatever else is in that.
6
SPEAKER_02
But his story and journey, the Flamin  Hot Cheeto in his life is like
6
SPEAKER_02
the least interesting thing about him.
6
SPEAKER_02
His book is really great.
6
SPEAKER_02
He shouldn t be alive, much less successful.
6
SPEAKER_01
He s an incredibly impressive person.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, and he s not educated, and he s super smart, and he s so funny and witty, and he s super scary, and tatted all up, and like, gangbanger, could shank you.
6
SPEAKER_01
All the things.
6
SPEAKER_02
He s so complex, and he always says it, he goes, I m the smartest uneducated bottle you ll ever meet, because he s really smart, but you can tell he s not.
6
SPEAKER_02
educated and so I remember I got sent the script and it read kind of like a documentary it was like he did this he did this and I cried four times oh my god there s a story here and then I went down a rabbit hole of his YouTube videos because he s a motivational speaker now and he does TED Talks yeah he worked at Pepsi for 40 years so when the LA Times article came out I m like you don t work at a company for 40 years and somebody debunks your entire legacy there he s in training videos, Pepsi flew him all over the world
6
SPEAKER_02
to tell his story.
6
SPEAKER_02
Within the week, Pepsi came out and said, we value Richard 1000%.
6
SPEAKER_02
Obviously a product is made of teams of people.
6
SPEAKER_01
I was trying to read between the lines and just go like, are they taking this position so they don t owe him $1 billion?
6
SPEAKER_01
That s very conceivable.
6
SPEAKER_02
They don t owe the other person a billion dollars.
6
SPEAKER_02
They don t owe anybody a billion.
6
SPEAKER_02
They re like, we don t want to get sued.
6
SPEAKER_02
Everything was to be risk averse.
6
SPEAKER_01
What seemed like when I was making a case for it has to be true is he wouldn t have climbed the ladder there.
6
SPEAKER_02
Well, that s a very significant, an executive at PepsiCo just retired two years ago.
6
SPEAKER_02
We were prepping the movie.
6
SPEAKER_02
He was still working.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, no kidding.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
6
SPEAKER_01
So really quick.
6
SPEAKER_01
Cause we didn t release the episode and I m talking.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
We need to talk about it.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, maybe we will.
6
SPEAKER_01
But it s an incredible story.
6
SPEAKER_02
Because it s an incredible story.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s about this guy who s been caught in the cycle of poverty his whole life.
6
SPEAKER_02
His grandpa was a gangbanger.
6
SPEAKER_02
His dad s a gangbanger.
6
SPEAKER_02
He s a gangbanger.
6
SPEAKER_02
He was dealing drugs since he was eight and then used at 12, literally later in life.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
And Judy.
6
SPEAKER_02
But he was just so impressive and I wanted to put the movie in his voice.
6
SPEAKER_02
and his perspective and that really gave us so much creative liberty because the whole movie is his perspective.
6
SPEAKER_02
There s fantasy sequences.
6
SPEAKER_02
He told me a story.
6
SPEAKER_02
He s like, man, I remember I was mopping and a guy spit his gum right in front of my mop just on the floor.
6
SPEAKER_02
Little did that guy know I could kill him with my hands right now.
6
SPEAKER_02
He goes, but I didn t.
6
SPEAKER_02
I had to mind my gangster.
6
SPEAKER_02
So when we re writing the film and I go, but what if you did kick his ass in the movie, like in your head?
6
SPEAKER_02
And so a lot of the movies, like what he thought happened in his head.
6
SPEAKER_02
And it was in the seventies and eighties.
6
SPEAKER_02
So Frito-Lay at the time was also different companies.
6
SPEAKER_02
There was West Coast Frito-Lay and Midwest Frito-Lay.
6
SPEAKER_02
And so they had a product in the Midwest that they were working on a spicy potato chip.
6
SPEAKER_02
And then at the same time, Richard was over here saying, you should pay attention to the Hispanic market.
6
SPEAKER_02
So his gift wasn t that he did the recipe.
6
SPEAKER_02
His gift was that he is known as the godfather of Latino marketing.
6
SPEAKER_02
He was the first person in corporate America to go
6
SPEAKER_02
Maybe you should market differently to Hispanics than you do to black people than you do to white people.
6
SPEAKER_02
That position of multicultural marketing, Pepsi and Frito-Lay was the first company to have that position.
6
SPEAKER_01
Which is very late.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
And they were like, what?
6
SPEAKER_02
And so that s what his genius was, his grassroots marketing, his ability to use his Mexican-ness as his superpower of like, I know what my people like.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m telling you, if we offer a product for them, for us, we d show up.
6
SPEAKER_02
We d give you our money.
6
SPEAKER_02
And that s what the movie is about.
6
SPEAKER_02
Be seen.
6
SPEAKER_02
We matter too.
6
SPEAKER_02
And what happens when opportunity is not distributed equally?
6
SPEAKER_02
Everybody s talented.
6
SPEAKER_02
You can be talented.
6
SPEAKER_02
You can be talented.
6
SPEAKER_02
But do you get the opportunity?
6
SPEAKER_02
Do we have the infrastructure of opportunity in every neighborhood, in every culture?
6
SPEAKER_02
No.
6
SPEAKER_02
We don t.
6
SPEAKER_02
And so his whole life people told him, no, that job is not for you.
6
SPEAKER_02
And no, no, no, that opportunity isn t for somebody who looks like you or sounds like you.
6
SPEAKER_02
And he dared to ask, why not me?
6
SPEAKER_02
Why can t a good idea come from somebody who looks like me and sounds like me?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
It reminds me too of Salma s story when she came from Mexico and she was like, why aren t they putting us as stars and things?
6
SPEAKER_01
We re a huge percentage of the population and we show up for a
7
SPEAKER_00
How are they missing this as a business?
7
SPEAKER_00
Fuck my own philanthropic desire and social justice desire.
7
SPEAKER_00
Just as business people, you guys are really asleep on this.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s not a moral imperative.
7
SPEAKER_00
Right.
7
SPEAKER_00
You re bad business folk.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s an economic imperative.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
Watch it with your kids.
7
SPEAKER_00
They will love it.
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh, wonderful.
7
SPEAKER_00
I can watch it with my kids.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
7
SPEAKER_01
Do they eat flaming hot Cheetos?
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
So they ll love it.
7
SPEAKER_00
I don t trust anyone who doesn t like Flamin  Hot Cheetos.
7
SPEAKER_01
By the way, the first time I ate a regular Cheeto, I thought something was wrong with my bag.
7
SPEAKER_01
I was like, I got a dud.
7
SPEAKER_01
I got a dud.
7
SPEAKER_01
And my friend was like, that s regular.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I go, they make regular?
7
SPEAKER_00
No flavor?
7
SPEAKER_01
I had no idea why they would make anything but.
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s wonderful.
7
SPEAKER_00
My best friend, Aaron Weakley, he was eating them so much that in his work truck, he had a box of rubber surgical gloves and he would put them on to eat his Flamin  Hot Cheetos while he drove because his fingers were perpetually orange.
7
SPEAKER_00
You ll love the movie.
7
SPEAKER_01
There s a beat about that, but it s so good.
7
SPEAKER_00
You won the South by Southwest Audience Award.
7
SPEAKER_01
That s so great.
7
SPEAKER_01
And we won a lot of things.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
And it s described as a very Rocky-esque story.
7
SPEAKER_01
It is, and also tonally you ll get it because it was hard to nail this tone.
7
SPEAKER_01
I didn t want to do a movie about the flaming hot Cheeto.
7
SPEAKER_01
That does not interest me.
7
SPEAKER_01
I don t think it s going to interest anybody else, but I want to do a story about this guy.
7
SPEAKER_01
This man is so interesting.
7
SPEAKER_01
So I knew it had a lot of heart, but it s super funny.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s comedy with heart.
7
SPEAKER_01
So tonally it s its own animal, but he was around, came a couple of times.
7
SPEAKER_01
His grandkids are in the movie.
7
SPEAKER_01
Towards the end, we were shooting the ending scene where
7
SPEAKER_01
There s this applauding happening at the factory, and he was behind the monitors.
7
SPEAKER_01
Him and Judy were back there, and he just has his head down, and he s crying.
7
SPEAKER_01
And Judy s rubbing his back, and I was like, are you okay?
7
SPEAKER_01
Is he okay?
7
SPEAKER_01
And she goes, this part never happened.
7
SPEAKER_01
And that s what he was crying about.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh, he didn t get that.
7
SPEAKER_01
Nobody ever said thank you.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I said, well, this is the ending he deserves.
7
SPEAKER_01
So he loves the film and it s a love story also.
7
SPEAKER_01
In the heart of the movie is a love story between him and Judy who grew up together.
7
SPEAKER_01
They were dealing drugs so young and her house was like the drug house.
7
SPEAKER_01
That s where people go, money would be exchanged.
7
SPEAKER_01
And then I remember sitting too with him early on when we were writing the script and I said, so tell me, why did you choose to be in a gang?
7
SPEAKER_01
And he looked at me like I had two heads.
7
SPEAKER_00
Right, like a choice was made.
7
SPEAKER_00
When you got to the fork in the road, he said, you need this way, gang life this way.
7
SPEAKER_01
I didn t choose this life.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s like survival.
7
SPEAKER_00
If you re not with it, you re dead.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, that was a dumb question.
7
SPEAKER_00
Next one.
7
SPEAKER_00
How did you get so handsome?
7
SPEAKER_00
Let s get this back on a positive.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
So it is about that.
7
SPEAKER_01
We humanized a lot of issues that my community faces, Mexican Americanism and with stereotypes.
7
SPEAKER_01
And we push back on those in the film.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
That s really cool.
7
SPEAKER_00
There s not the wave of support to recognize Latinos that there is with other groups.
7
SPEAKER_01
There s not.
7
SPEAKER_00
In fact, there was a study where they did the movies from 2003 to 17, something like that, the top movies, and there s been almost zero growth.
7
SPEAKER_01
Zero growth in what we re making.
7
SPEAKER_00
Representation.
7
SPEAKER_01
And representation.
7
SPEAKER_01
Huge growth in market.
7
SPEAKER_00
In population and market.
7
SPEAKER_01
We re the biggest movie going audience by far.
7
SPEAKER_01
We re like 29% of ticket buyers.
7
SPEAKER_01
No shit.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so we way over index.
7
SPEAKER_00
Isn t that so crazy?
7
SPEAKER_00
The black audience is also very, very movie going and we ve known that forever.
7
SPEAKER_00
So you have these two groups of people that love going to the movies and they get served the least amount of movies.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
They don t see themselves reflected back on screen for sure.
7
SPEAKER_01
And not only that, it s not about putting a Latino in a movie.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s not about putting a Latino in Marvel.
7
SPEAKER_01
It should be stories from our perspective.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
7
SPEAKER_01
Stories told by us and not for us, but by us for everyone.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
7
SPEAKER_01
You know, and that s what Flaming Hot is.
7
SPEAKER_00
Hip hop is their story.
7
SPEAKER_00
But guess what?
7
SPEAKER_00
We all love it.
7
SPEAKER_02
Not only do we love it, we need it.
7
SPEAKER_02
We actually need it as a society to understand what s going on around us and other cultures.
7
SPEAKER_02
Otherwise, we re just in our bubbles.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
Well, and that s the thing about representation is when people see us on screen, it educates them about our community.
7
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that s how they are.
7
SPEAKER_01
And if all they see is negative portrayals and they re going to be like, oh, those people are dangerous.
7
SPEAKER_01
But more importantly,
7
SPEAKER_01
It teaches our own community about us.
7
SPEAKER_01
That s the dangerous part is if we only see ourselves as a narco or as a drug dealer on screen, we re like, okay, so that s all I can be.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s almost like the choice that he s saying I didn t have.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
Likewise.
7
SPEAKER_00
I ve talked about this a bunch with Pena.
7
SPEAKER_00
Pena s like, he played drug dealer number eight, then he made up to drug dealer number seven and his whole career was hoping to get to drug dealer number one or kingpin, right?
7
SPEAKER_00
That s a reality for him in 95 coming to the city to act.
7
SPEAKER_00
That was what the trajectory was if you were lucky.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
Did you meet Michael on the movie?
7
SPEAKER_01
Seems like you guys would have so much in common.
7
SPEAKER_00
I had met him once or twice around.
7
SPEAKER_00
I remember though, I basically asked him to go to lunch with me and I told him I m making this movie and I told him I pitched it with him already attached, which is true.
7
SPEAKER_00
I knew he had to be Ponch from the get.
7
SPEAKER_00
And then I just had to woo him.
7
SPEAKER_00
Like I had to really win him over.
7
SPEAKER_00
So you had directed 13 episodes of television at the point you did the feature.
7
SPEAKER_00
Did that make you feel super confident going into the feature?
7
SPEAKER_00
Or do you feel like it was its own new animal?
7
SPEAKER_01
No, no.
7
SPEAKER_01
Especially the ambitious schedule we had on Flaming Hot.
7
SPEAKER_01
Thank God I was a TV director.
7
SPEAKER_00
How many days did you have?
7
30.
7
SPEAKER_00
30 days.
7
SPEAKER_00
You gotta go.
7
SPEAKER_01
108 sets.
7
SPEAKER_01
I don t know how many locations.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s all locations.
7
SPEAKER_01
We only did locations.
7
SPEAKER_01
And so the speed in which we shot, I don t think anybody who was like, I m a film director.
7
SPEAKER_01
Where s second unit?
7
SPEAKER_01
It was like, second unit?
7
SPEAKER_01
This is it.
7
SPEAKER_00
This is the unit.
7
SPEAKER_00
There s a unit.
7
SPEAKER_00
You re talking to the unit.
7
SPEAKER_01
And so I do well too under pressure and scrappiness.
7
SPEAKER_01
Like you got two walls, the sun s going down.
7
SPEAKER_01
We got one camera and we only have this much left on the card and go.
7
SPEAKER_01
You re like, great.
7
SPEAKER_01
I want to figure it out.
7
SPEAKER_01
I love that.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I think it produces magic.
7
SPEAKER_00
Okay, I wonder if you have this, which is if I m somewhere as an actor, I want to get out of there.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yep.
7
SPEAKER_00
If I m there as a director, I wish the day had 45 hours.
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh no, I m the same.
7
SPEAKER_00
I wanna go home.
7
SPEAKER_00
And you still wanna go home as a director too.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
Now look, I m not one that does a trillion takes, but I love doing the shit and I want, at a scene.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m so energized by directing, I m not super energized by acting.
7
SPEAKER_01
I guess that s my question.
7
SPEAKER_01
Definitely energized is directing.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I want to cover things that I need an insert and I need to get this real quick because I know the edit in my head.
7
SPEAKER_01
I really see it.
7
SPEAKER_01
I m not one of like, let s figure it out in the edit.
7
SPEAKER_01
I know what I need and I know what I don t.
7
SPEAKER_01
That s why I m quick to get out is because I m like, we don t need that.
7
SPEAKER_00
This will never make the edit.
7
SPEAKER_01
Should you get outside and maybe an exterior?
7
SPEAKER_01
Nope, I m not going to use it.
7
SPEAKER_01
I don t want to be out there.
7
SPEAKER_01
Emotionally, I don t want to be outside of this house.
7
SPEAKER_01
So why would I shoot outside of this house?
7
SPEAKER_01
And once in a while, because I do rule my sets with best idea wins.
7
SPEAKER_01
So I m not like, no, if somebody says, what about this or that?
7
SPEAKER_01
And if it goes to my vision, I m like, great idea.
7
SPEAKER_01
Let s shoot it.
7
SPEAKER_01
Let s do that.
7
SPEAKER_01
But for the most part, I know what I need and I know what I don t.
7
SPEAKER_01
You re not very indulgent in a great way.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yes, which I feel like a lot of these films today, these directors just... Yes, I know.
7
SPEAKER_00
You re watching like a 46 second crane shot and you re like, this stopped being interesting 25 seconds ago, but you are in love with this shot and we got to see the whole thing.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
7
SPEAKER_00
Also, what I think is great about directing is it s almost an endless game where there s a problem every 15 minutes and you get to solve it.
7
SPEAKER_00
So like if you re a decisive person who loves making decisions, and I love that.
7
SPEAKER_00
In fact, it s more fun when you find out, oh, I want to do these nine things.
7
SPEAKER_00
We re only going to get to do four.
7
SPEAKER_00
I got to prioritize right now.
7
SPEAKER_00
I like even that part.
7
SPEAKER_01
I love that part.
7
SPEAKER_01
The first couple of times I was directing, I was like, Jesus, if one more person comes and asks me a question.
7
SPEAKER_01
Like I was exhausted by people.
7
SPEAKER_01
And then a director s like, literally, that is your job.
7
SPEAKER_00
To be asked questions.
7
SPEAKER_01
To be asked questions and decide.
7
SPEAKER_01
Finally, I did their like tea cup or mug mug.
7
SPEAKER_01
I don t need to discuss this.
7
SPEAKER_00
Red or blue?
7
SPEAKER_00
Saucer or tea plate?
7
SPEAKER_00
Don t bring me that.
7
SPEAKER_01
But with Flaming Hot, my entire crew that was with me, they were like, you re the most decisive director.
7
SPEAKER_01
All of them.
7
SPEAKER_01
My sound guy, everybody was like, wow, you really know what you want.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I said, I do.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I don t know if I ll have that clarity on every movie.
7
SPEAKER_01
It was this particular movie that I knew that was no and this is yes.
7
SPEAKER_01
And if I didn t know it,
7
SPEAKER_01
I am so comfortable with, let s have 12 brains on this.
7
SPEAKER_01
There s a shot in the movie of a time lapse and we couldn t figure it out in the sense of like, I don t want it to be 10 years later in a Chiron.
7
SPEAKER_01
I want to see those 10 years.
7
SPEAKER_01
I want to see this happen.
7
SPEAKER_01
I want to use these kind of graphics.
7
SPEAKER_01
What is that camera move?
7
SPEAKER_01
And we would all just sit and think.
7
SPEAKER_01
My DP would show me things and then his DP group would send us things.
7
SPEAKER_01
I was like, no, that s not it.
7
SPEAKER_01
I knew what it wasn t.
7
SPEAKER_01
Like in my head, I was like, that s not it.
7
SPEAKER_01
He would show me something or he goes, what about if we did this lens?
7
SPEAKER_01
I go, put it on.
7
SPEAKER_01
I need to see.
7
SPEAKER_01
I don t abstractly know what you re talking about, but show me.
7
SPEAKER_01
Shoot that thing right there and show me what you re going to do.
7
SPEAKER_01
And he would do it.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I go, no, it s not that.
7
SPEAKER_01
And then finally we land and I love it.
7
SPEAKER_01
Film critics who watch the thing, they re like, that time-lapse.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I go, right?
7
SPEAKER_01
We worked so hard on it.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
So what are you going to direct next?
7
SPEAKER_01
I don t know, I m reading now.
7
SPEAKER_00
You are.
7
SPEAKER_01
I m reading everything.
7
SPEAKER_01
You must get this too.
7
SPEAKER_01
People go, what was the hardest thing for you becoming actor, director?
7
SPEAKER_01
Was it like, you re so pretty or you re a woman or, you know, what was my obstacle?
7
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, that I m a dumb actor because I think everybody goes, well, all actors can direct.
7
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no, no, no.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
A lot of people aren t in a great way.
7
SPEAKER_00
Some of the best actors I ve ever seen, they re not interested at all
8
SPEAKER_02
and how the sausage is being made.
8
SPEAKER_02
I m just insanely curious.
8
SPEAKER_02
I m like, what s that machine do?
8
SPEAKER_01
Me too.
8
SPEAKER_02
What s a 17 versus a 35?
8
SPEAKER_02
I feel safer if I know how everything works, maybe.
8
SPEAKER_01
Me too.
8
SPEAKER_01
Me too.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m super curious.
8
SPEAKER_01
I was curious when I was an extra.
8
SPEAKER_01
When I was on set an extra, I go, what s checking the gate?
8
SPEAKER_01
What does that mean?
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh, well, you know, the film.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I go, what is it?
8
SPEAKER_01
And they re like, can somebody take this extra back to holding?
8
SPEAKER_02
Give them a film 101 class real quick.
8
SPEAKER_01
We need to cross me.
8
SPEAKER_01
I want to do it.
8
SPEAKER_01
They go, oh, could you come closer?
8
SPEAKER_01
I go, why?
8
SPEAKER_01
What does that do?
8
SPEAKER_01
If I get closer to you, what does that do?
8
SPEAKER_02
None of your business.
8
SPEAKER_02
Just get closer.
8
SPEAKER_01
Extra.
8
SPEAKER_02
You re so extra, extra.
8
SPEAKER_01
That was the annoying extra.
8
SPEAKER_01
But I did use Desperate Housewives as my film school.
8
SPEAKER_01
And that, I was able to really learn lenses and learn lighting.
8
SPEAKER_01
And Mark Cherry was my mentor in comedy and comedy directing.
8
SPEAKER_01
And he goes, don t move on the joke.
8
SPEAKER_01
Say the joke and go.
8
SPEAKER_01
or go and say the joke, but don t say the joke on the movie.
8
SPEAKER_01
He had all these rules that I ve carried with me.
8
SPEAKER_01
A lot of people who watch the movie go, I totally see Desperate Eyes in your film.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, really?
8
SPEAKER_01
Which is the greatest compliment ever.
8
SPEAKER_02
Well, Eva, I loved you.
8
SPEAKER_01
You loved me then.
8
SPEAKER_02
18 years ago, 17 years ago, and I love you today.
8
SPEAKER_02
You re so fun.
8
SPEAKER_03
Thank you.
8
SPEAKER_03
Very fun.
8
SPEAKER_03
Thank you, Gabe.
8
SPEAKER_02
I can very much see you as a director.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s very obvious what you re doing.
8
SPEAKER_03
It feels like I d feel very safe in your hands.
8
SPEAKER_03
Like you said, the clarity and the decisiveness is like great.
8
SPEAKER_03
That s all you really want.
8
SPEAKER_03
Someone who s just like, oh, let s try.
8
SPEAKER_03
It s like, oh my God, will I ever leave?
8
SPEAKER_01
It s scary.
8
SPEAKER_01
I feel that way with photographers too when I have to go do a photo shoot and they re like, I don t know if we have it.
8
SPEAKER_01
I was like, you don t.
8
SPEAKER_01
You don t know?
8
SPEAKER_01
You don t know yet?
8
SPEAKER_01
We had it for the first five clicks.
8
SPEAKER_01
Click, click, click.
8
SPEAKER_01
That one felt great.
8
SPEAKER_01
That one feels great.
8
SPEAKER_01
Should we do it again, but maybe this time smirk instead of smut?
8
SPEAKER_00
Maybe?
8
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, I think you got it.
8
SPEAKER_01
I don t like anybody that s not secure in their craft.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I agree.
8
SPEAKER_02
Photoshoots are my number one most hated thing of the entire experience of show business.
8
SPEAKER_02
And it s so bad that I now start them by saying to everyone, I m sorry.
8
SPEAKER_02
You re going to see me at my worst.
8
SPEAKER_02
I m insecure.
8
SPEAKER_02
I don t want to be in any photos.
8
SPEAKER_02
And so to do hundreds of them, it s just going to bring out my worst.
8
SPEAKER_02
And I just am apologizing ahead of time.
8
SPEAKER_02
I don t know what else to do.
8
SPEAKER_02
I can t get myself to enjoy it.
8
SPEAKER_01
I remember Tom Cruise was on the cover of something and it was like water and rain and his hair and he looked great.
8
SPEAKER_01
And somebody goes, that was one shot.
8
SPEAKER_01
He goes, pour the water.
8
SPEAKER_01
And they go, click.
8
SPEAKER_01
And it was like, cover GQ, right?
8
SPEAKER_01
I was like, that is amazing.
8
SPEAKER_01
That photo is amazing.
8
SPEAKER_01
They go, it was one shot or something like that.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I said, yeah, why would a guy stand there going, pour more water?
8
SPEAKER_02
You can t make my hair move in a different way with more fans.
8
SPEAKER_01
For me, I m like, hang on, do it again, do it again, because my arms are better like this.
8
SPEAKER_01
Okay, do it again, do it again.
8
SPEAKER_01
How s this look right here?
8
SPEAKER_01
But I can t imagine it for guys.
8
SPEAKER_01
But photos in particular, not my favorite either.
8
SPEAKER_01
Now I know why people go, they re such divas, they re requesting their own photographer.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m like, yeah, because he ll get it in four minutes.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s the difference between an hour and four hours.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that s a big difference.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s a big difference in my life.
8
SPEAKER_03
And when the world is picking apart the picture and we ll post stuff and say stuff, I need to trust you.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
But Tony Shalhoub s in my film.
8
SPEAKER_01
You re going to love him.
8
SPEAKER_02
Was it so fun to direct him?
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but he was completely that.
8
SPEAKER_01
He trusted me completely and I d never met him before.
8
SPEAKER_01
Spoke to him on the phone a couple times.
8
SPEAKER_01
He came in the last three days because he has not a lot to shoot and he had hard stuff to do.
8
SPEAKER_01
You ll see in the movie.
8
SPEAKER_01
Funny stuff, but he did the scene and we re laughing behind the camera and I come on set and he goes, how was it?
8
SPEAKER_01
I go, it was great.
8
SPEAKER_01
And he goes,
8
SPEAKER_01
What am I saying?
8
SPEAKER_01
And I was laughing because he just said what he said in Spanish because he trusted me.
8
SPEAKER_01
I trust this is going to be good.
8
SPEAKER_01
And it s the two best scenes of the movie are these scenes he did.
8
SPEAKER_01
And just his complete trust, it melted my heart.
8
SPEAKER_01
I was like, I can t believe you trust me.
8
SPEAKER_02
You just nailed exactly what it is.
8
SPEAKER_02
The amount of gratitude as a director you have when you have something and they go beyond what you had ever dreamed of.
8
SPEAKER_02
And then you throw things at them and then they re making that better than what s in your head.
8
SPEAKER_02
The gratitude you have and then also knowing they re fucking trusting me.
8
SPEAKER_02
I m yelling out to this person, say blah, blah, blah.
8
SPEAKER_02
That s crazy.
8
SPEAKER_02
And when they do it, there s something very special about it.
8
SPEAKER_01
But I feel that about the prop guy.
8
SPEAKER_01
Like he brought me two different props and one was just so funny that I had never thought of.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I go, you made that so much better.
8
SPEAKER_01
People love being validated and applauded.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I felt like that with my production designers.
8
SPEAKER_01
I go, I don t know what it is, but it needs to feel like this.
8
SPEAKER_01
And they go, oh, this.
8
SPEAKER_01
I go, yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
Or the camera.
8
SPEAKER_01
I go, I need to go zoom and then it stops on the line.
8
SPEAKER_01
So what is the zoop lens, right?
8
SPEAKER_01
And they go, Oh, you want to hide the zoom and the push?
8
SPEAKER_01
Sure.
8
SPEAKER_01
Let s do that.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_02
Sounds great.
8
SPEAKER_01
The whole filmmaking process is trust.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s like a whole big trust fall.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
8
SPEAKER_02
You wonder how these directors who are monsters, but they get great movies.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s kind of disheartening to me every time I hear one of these stories about like a miserable,
8
SPEAKER_02
and then it was great.
8
SPEAKER_02
I m like, I don t have it in me to make it miserable.
8
SPEAKER_01
I know.
8
SPEAKER_01
I agree.
8
SPEAKER_01
Or I think that with actors, when bad behavior is rewarded, they just keep getting bigger and bigger as a star.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, you know what happens?
8
SPEAKER_02
We ve seen it.
8
SPEAKER_02
It works until it doesn t, until you have your failure, which we all have.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s impossible to navigate this without having failures.
8
SPEAKER_02
You don t get a second chance.
8
SPEAKER_02
That s the only justice that kind of exists in our world, which is these people who are infamously assholes,
8
SPEAKER_02
As soon as they re on a downward slope, there s no goodwill.
8
SPEAKER_02
They don t ever come back.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_02
It kind of catches up with you, unless you are magic and you never have a failure, which seems impossible.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, your kindness will carry you through those bad times.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
Thanks for having me.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
8
SPEAKER_01
This was fun.
8
SPEAKER_01
It was really, really fun seeing you.
8
SPEAKER_01
So fun.
8
SPEAKER_02
It almost makes me sad that I haven t seen you in between.
8
SPEAKER_01
I know, it makes me sad that we re not friends.
8
SPEAKER_02
I know, me too.
8
SPEAKER_01
And you have children.
8
SPEAKER_01
Well, let s exchange numbers and we ll be friends.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and I ll blow you up.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, and I m gonna send you those great pictures of myself.
8
SPEAKER_02
Please.
8
SPEAKER_02
I m gonna cut myself out of them and then send them to you.
8
SPEAKER_00
Stick around for the fact check.
8
SPEAKER_00
Because they re human, they make lots of mistakes.
8
SPEAKER_00
Hi.
8
SPEAKER_02
How was your Thanksgiving?
8
SPEAKER_02
Great.
8
SPEAKER_02
It was.
8
SPEAKER_02
Did you get all the meals cooked in time?
8
SPEAKER_03
I did, but I had a big panic.
8
SPEAKER_02
Oh, tell me.
8
SPEAKER_03
A lot of panic.
8
SPEAKER_03
I know.
8
SPEAKER_03
I got home at four was the cook time to start.
8
SPEAKER_03
And that s for an eight o clock eating.
8
SPEAKER_03
Mm-hmm.
8
SPEAKER_03
Mm-hmm.
8
SPEAKER_03
Because the turkey had to cook for three hours and I had to bump the time up for the stuffing to go in.
8
SPEAKER_03
Right.
8
SPEAKER_03
And the mashed potatoes.
8
SPEAKER_03
The potato.
8
SPEAKER_03
Potatoes.
8
SPEAKER_02
Baked.
8
SPEAKER_02
Potatoes.
8
SPEAKER_03
Potatoes.
8
SPEAKER_03
You know, I had watched this Thanksgiving special so many times.
8
SPEAKER_02
Mm-hmm.
8
SPEAKER_03
And.
8
SPEAKER_02
How many times is so many times?
8
SPEAKER_03
A lot.
8
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
8
SPEAKER_03
So.
8
SPEAKER_02
Three?
8
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I mean, I also had to re-watch parts.
8
SPEAKER_02
You re ducking in and out of it for certain areas, okay.
8
SPEAKER_03
Allison had said on the video multiple times, I think, the turkey cooks for three hours.
8
SPEAKER_03
You take the foil off for the last hour.
8
SPEAKER_02
Okay, you get that crispy skin on top.
8
SPEAKER_03
Yes, but I thought she meant the last hour of the three.
8
SPEAKER_02
But she meant- Three covered, one uncovered.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
8
SPEAKER_02
Oh.
8
SPEAKER_03
So when I got home and I was reading the recipe, I panicked.
8
SPEAKER_02
Right, because now it s another hour.
8
SPEAKER_03
I was like, what are we gonna do?
8
SPEAKER_03
Eat at nine?
8
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_03
Like adding another hour?
8
SPEAKER_03
I can t.
8
SPEAKER_02
No.
8
SPEAKER_03
So I didn t know what to do.
8
SPEAKER_03
And then luckily, I have her phone number.
8
SPEAKER_02
Oh, wow.
8
SPEAKER_02
I know.
8
SPEAKER_03
What a hack.
8
SPEAKER_03
It s so lucky, it s so special and lucky.
8
SPEAKER_02
So you gave her, you shouted, you gave her- I said, help!
8
SPEAKER_02
Okay, you gave her a help.
8
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_02
Uh-huh.
8
SPEAKER_03
And I said, I hate myself for bothering you, but I am so scared right now.
8
SPEAKER_02
I was like, she s a doctor.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_03
Help.
8
SPEAKER_02
I know I should have made an appointment, but I m really struggling.
8
SPEAKER_02
And what did she have to say?
8
SPEAKER_03
She helped me out.
8
SPEAKER_02
What d she say?
8
SPEAKER_02
Knock up the heat a little bit?
8
SPEAKER_03
Yep, she said I could bump the heat, and then she asked how big the turkey was, and I said, well, I did quarters, because that was her, that s her recipe.
8
SPEAKER_03
And she was like, oh, you did quarters.
8
SPEAKER_03
Okay, actually, it s okay.
8
SPEAKER_03
You won t need that extra hour.
8
SPEAKER_02
Oh, wonderful.
8
SPEAKER_03
And she told me exactly what to do, and then add the stuffing at this time, then you take it out.
8
SPEAKER_03
This is really helpful, thank God.
8
SPEAKER_02
Thank you, Alison.
8
SPEAKER_03
Thank you, Alison.
8
SPEAKER_03
Congratulations on getting married.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I just found this out.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s so exciting.
8
SPEAKER_02
She finally did it.
8
SPEAKER_03
She did it.
8
SPEAKER_03
I just met a girl for coffee and- Oh my God, you ve already been on an errand?
8
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_02
What on earth?
8
SPEAKER_03
I know.
8
SPEAKER_02
And- What was it for?
8
SPEAKER_02
Another date?
8
SPEAKER_03
No, Sally knows her.
8
SPEAKER_03
It was just like a connection thing.
8
SPEAKER_03
She wanted to ask me some questions, but really we just chatted.
8
SPEAKER_03
She was really sweet, but she knows Allison s husband.
8
SPEAKER_02
Ding, ding, ding.
8
SPEAKER_02
Congratulations, Allison.
8
SPEAKER_03
I know.
8
SPEAKER_02
What s the husband do?
8
SPEAKER_03
I don t know.
8
SPEAKER_02
Oh, wow.
8
SPEAKER_02
Knows her, though.
8
SPEAKER_03
Knows her.
8
SPEAKER_02
He has friends.
8
SPEAKER_03
It was just a sim moment.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I ll say.
8
SPEAKER_03
Ding, ding, ding.
8
SPEAKER_03
Duck, duck, goose.
8
SPEAKER_03
I like that.
8
SPEAKER_02
You think you guys are going on a second date?
8
SPEAKER_03
I have so many second dates.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s getting hard to schedule.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s getting impacted.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s an impacted major.
8
SPEAKER_02
You re an impacted major.
8
SPEAKER_03
It s so interesting doing this.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
Doing dating is weird.
9
SPEAKER_00
And especially- That d be a good show for somebody.
9
SPEAKER_00
Doing dating?
9
SPEAKER_00
You can have that, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
Doing dating.
9
SPEAKER_01
No, you can t have it.
9
SPEAKER_00
Okay, it s ours.
9
SPEAKER_00
We ll see you.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
Season desist.
9
SPEAKER_01
We re keeping it for now.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
Until it gets dusty, then you can have it.
9
SPEAKER_00
Are your evenings mixed with texting back and forth with two different people and then trying to keep it straight?
9
SPEAKER_01
No, no.
9
SPEAKER_00
No?
9
SPEAKER_01
No, it s not that.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s more that it s really hard to not compare.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yes, of course, of course.
9
SPEAKER_00
And the comparisons go back- Make both persons go down?
9
SPEAKER_01
Well, this girl that I was just having this breakfast with, she was asking me how I felt about doing that.
9
SPEAKER_01
And she said she personally doesn t like it because she feels like together they re one person.
9
SPEAKER_00
Of course, yes.
9
SPEAKER_00
Together it s perfect, but.
9
SPEAKER_00
Well, also like someone inevitably has a quality you really like.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
And you re aware of that the other person doesn t have that, whereas you wouldn t be aware of that.
9
SPEAKER_00
You would just kind of be into whatever quality you liked of theirs.
9
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
9
SPEAKER_00
Wild ride.
9
SPEAKER_01
How many days did you go on with Kristen before you decided you were going to be exclusive with her?
9
SPEAKER_00
Well, this is well known, but it accelerated a little faster than I was comfortable with, because I was seeing other person, not other people, but other person.
9
SPEAKER_01
Other role makers.
9
SPEAKER_00
And it was virtually at the same time that I met both.
9
SPEAKER_00
And then I didn t not pick Kristen, it just had gotten to a point where I could tell she thought we were exclusive.
9
SPEAKER_00
Right.
9
SPEAKER_00
To which I had to say like, I m not at the same spot.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
That was.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
How many dates in?
9
SPEAKER_00
Well, that was probably two months into.
9
SPEAKER_01
And, but you guys hung out a lot.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
A couple of days a week.
9
SPEAKER_01
How are you doing that?
9
SPEAKER_01
How are you doing a couple of days a week and then how many days with the row?
9
SPEAKER_00
A couple of days.
9
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
9
SPEAKER_01
You re busy.
9
SPEAKER_01
See, I don t have that kind of time.
9
SPEAKER_00
I m trying to think.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I was unemployed.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
I was promoting a movie.
9
SPEAKER_00
Baby Mama was about to come out.
9
SPEAKER_01
Right.
9
SPEAKER_00
That s it, I was, I had a lot of time.
9
SPEAKER_01
But like, you would have like a lunch, would you have like a lunch with one and a dinner with another?
9
SPEAKER_00
I don t, I don t think like that.
9
SPEAKER_01
Breakfast and dinner?
9
Oh, jeez.
9
SPEAKER_01
I m curious.
9
SPEAKER_00
Dinner with one and breakfast with a different one.
9
SPEAKER_01
What if you had to leave, what if you guys had sex and then you slept over and then you left to go to breakfast with the other?
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah, yeah, that s.
9
SPEAKER_01
You did that?
9
SPEAKER_00
No, I m not saying I didn t.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s 16 years ago.
9
SPEAKER_00
I can t actually truly.
9
SPEAKER_00
Try.
9
SPEAKER_00
Try.
9
SPEAKER_01
So.
9
SPEAKER_00
Anywho.
9
SPEAKER_01
Wait, so you went on lots of dates with both before you made that decision?
9
SPEAKER_00
Or you re saying- Well, what s interesting is it would appear that I had picked one over the other, but I didn t.
9
SPEAKER_00
I just felt really unethical about acting like I was exclusive.
9
SPEAKER_00
And I say, well, I m not there.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you said that.
9
SPEAKER_00
And I feel like we probably need to slow down, which was in essence a breakup.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
But it s not because I was like, oh, now I m, you know, I ve chosen.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s just this person s doesn t feel like they re there.
9
SPEAKER_00
I have no ethical dilemma about this one person, this other person I have- Kristen, you felt like,
9
SPEAKER_01
was all in and you weren t and so you had to tell her.
9
SPEAKER_00
It was just really quick, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
And you had to tell her.
9
SPEAKER_00
And I had just gotten out of a very intense, too intense relationship.
9
SPEAKER_00
And then so it just escalated kinda quicker than I was.
9
SPEAKER_00
Anticipating.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
How d you end up back there?
9
SPEAKER_00
Now that it was basically like, it feels like I ve picked this person, I was like, this isn t my pick.
9
SPEAKER_01
And then you couldn t stop thinking about Kristen.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I saw,
9
SPEAKER_00
I saw a picture of her somewhere doing something silly.
9
SPEAKER_00
She was doing something very silly.
9
SPEAKER_00
I can t remember the exact photo, but some very Kristen photo.
9
SPEAKER_00
That was on the front of a magazine while I was in New York, buying dip.
9
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, oh yeah, that looks fun.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s fun.
9
SPEAKER_00
So yeah, it s stressful dating multiple people.
9
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so the dinner was made.
9
SPEAKER_00
It was delicious.
9
SPEAKER_01
It was really good.
9
SPEAKER_01
It was a full Thanksgiving.
9
SPEAKER_00
And did your guests laugh and have merriment and fellowship?
9
SPEAKER_01
They did.
9
SPEAKER_00
Did you guys give thanks or anything?
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, we gave thanks.
9
SPEAKER_01
It was really nice.
9
SPEAKER_01
It was just lovely.
9
SPEAKER_01
I m trying to think if there were any major highlights other than the merriment and tasty food.
9
SPEAKER_00
And the fellowship.
9
SPEAKER_01
And the fellowship and the giving thing.
9
SPEAKER_00
The gustatory explosions.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it was fun.
9
SPEAKER_01
It was good.
9
SPEAKER_00
Okay, update on couples therapy.
9
SPEAKER_00
So I finished last night.
9
SPEAKER_01
The whole thing or season three?
9
SPEAKER_00
Season three.
9
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_00
By the way, thought I wanna run by you, but first of all, what a great season.
9
SPEAKER_00
And you re right, the guy that I couldn t stand had some really nice moments.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
And it was a reminder like if you, oh God, if you can just find ultimate patience.
9
SPEAKER_01
I know.
9
SPEAKER_00
You know, it s encouraging to stay optimistic about people.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s really hard to.
9
SPEAKER_01
That s what I, that s the main takeaway.
9
SPEAKER_00
There s other people that I have a lot of tolerance for their particular ism.
9
SPEAKER_00
His is very stepped in.
9
SPEAKER_00
There is some gas, you know, for me it was very like, fuck this guy.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
But I ended up finding him very sweet.
9
SPEAKER_01
Well, knowing why someone is the way they are just at least provides compassion.
9
SPEAKER_01
It doesn t mean they should be a fucking gaslighter like he was.
9
SPEAKER_00
Right, or that you can t have boundaries.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
9
SPEAKER_01
But it s still just like, ugh, people are not picking this.
9
SPEAKER_00
And you were right, the guy didn t like her advisor.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
He got me back a little bit and she kind of acknowledged some stuff.
9
SPEAKER_01
You were just being protective of Orna.
9
SPEAKER_00
I was, I was.
9
SPEAKER_00
I love Orna.
9
SPEAKER_00
I don t like anyone telling her she s not doing a perfect job because she s perfect.
9
SPEAKER_01
She never brushes her hair and you love it.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, she never brushes her hair.
9
SPEAKER_00
I love it.
9
SPEAKER_01
Okay, what were you gonna say?
9
SPEAKER_00
I don t know how this works out, but obviously there s that really profound moment about the Israeli-Palestine conflict.
9
SPEAKER_00
And so then I started wondering, what happened?
9
SPEAKER_00
Why are there two seasons in one?
9
SPEAKER_00
And is it that they had recorded that, they re sitting on it, they re planning on releasing it down the road, but then Hamas attacks,
9
SPEAKER_00
And they re like, oh, we got to get this out right now.
9
SPEAKER_00
So people know this hell happened before.
9
SPEAKER_00
But how, I don t know what the timeline of when they dropped season three with all of these.
9
SPEAKER_00
I looked it up.
9
SPEAKER_00
You did?
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
What is it?
9
SPEAKER_00
May.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, so that doesn t make sense.
9
SPEAKER_00
So it was before.
9
SPEAKER_01
I mean, there s, there s always, there s always conflict.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
But that was a really,
9
SPEAKER_00
profoundly beautiful moment between all of them.
9
SPEAKER_01
I know.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
So in the third season, second half, uh, there s a couple, a lesbian couple.
9
SPEAKER_01
And one of the girls is, and they re young.
9
SPEAKER_01
Um, one of the girls is from the West bank and,
9
SPEAKER_01
Her family had to flee because of bombings and Orna is Israeli.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
So at the very beginning of the season, they state that.
9
SPEAKER_00
They lightly, yeah, they lightly acknowledge it.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
9
SPEAKER_00
But there s not really too much of a deep dive.
9
SPEAKER_00
But then by the end of the season, which is I guess 10 weeks later or something, it seems they do 10 sessions or whatever.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
there had been some bombing in the West Bank.
9
SPEAKER_00
And so the Palestinian girl was very, very upset.
9
SPEAKER_00
And then feeling what was so human about it is, it s not that her feelings were in question about Orna, it s that she felt like she might be betraying all the people she loves and that love her by even being friends with her.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and by trusting her.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
9
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, oh yeah, that s such an interesting pressure that both people are feeling.
9
SPEAKER_00
Am I betraying?
9
SPEAKER_00
It even happened when Chad came in, Chad Sanders, and he was like,
9
SPEAKER_00
I m nervous to get along with you because I don t want to seem like, you know.
9
SPEAKER_01
I m like hanging out with, I m on the white guy team.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yes.
9
SPEAKER_00
And pandering to this white dude.
9
SPEAKER_00
He s like, it s weird.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s like, it s almost scary to get along with you so well.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I get that.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s like yet another layer of the sadness of marginalized groups, which is you re not just,
9
SPEAKER_00
suffering from the oppression of the hegemonic group.
9
SPEAKER_00
There s also all these bizarre internal pressures of purity and loyalty.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
That I imagine, I wouldn t know personally, but I imagine you can end up feeling lonelier than anyone in that your group seems to not approve of you and the oppressor doesn t.
9
SPEAKER_00
Exactly, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s heartbreaking.
9
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, okay, though that couple, the Palestinian girl and her girlfriend.
10
SPEAKER_01
are one of my favorites of the whole series.
10
SPEAKER_00
A thousand percent.
10
SPEAKER_00
I love them.
10
SPEAKER_00
A thousand percent.
10
SPEAKER_00
I almost wish for them.
10
SPEAKER_00
I m like, guys, just be together.
10
SPEAKER_00
I know.
10
SPEAKER_01
But they re doing the right thing.
10
SPEAKER_00
And I think this happens a lot with people.
10
SPEAKER_00
They should have just met 10 years later.
10
SPEAKER_00
If they just met 10 years later, it would totally have worked.
10
SPEAKER_00
They re so young and it s just too soon for either of them to.
10
SPEAKER_01
You re right.
10
SPEAKER_01
And the sad truth about life is
10
SPEAKER_01
you can love someone profoundly and deeply and not be the right match.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s like the hardest pill to swallow, but it s real.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, they re so fucking cute though, and they get along so well.
10
SPEAKER_01
They love each other so much.
10
SPEAKER_01
I know, I know.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s beautiful, yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
I open my computer for facts, but I don t have any.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh, fun.
10
SPEAKER_01
Because we,
10
SPEAKER_01
Because we recorded it yesterday afternoon and I don t have it yet.
10
SPEAKER_00
Well, we can just reflect on how fun she was.
10
SPEAKER_01
So fun.
10
SPEAKER_00
She s so great, isn t she?
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that was lovely.
10
SPEAKER_00
I was saying how much I enjoyed having her at dinner and Kristen told this great story about being somewhere like with SAG and the president of SAG.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it was a Time s Up meeting.
10
SPEAKER_00
Okay, were you there?
10
SPEAKER_00
I wonder if you remember it the same way as her, but someone s starting to make some lofty opening ceremony statement that was going to go on.
10
SPEAKER_00
And she said that Eva just went, okay, we all got to get home to our kids.
10
SPEAKER_00
So what were we saying?
10
SPEAKER_00
And what are we not saying?
10
SPEAKER_00
And what is blah, blah, blah.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
Just kind of fuck all this pleasantry stuff.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
Let s get on with the real shit.
10
SPEAKER_01
I don t remember it personally, but I make sense.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
I love that.
10
SPEAKER_01
Very efficient.
10
SPEAKER_00
Uh-huh.
10
SPEAKER_01
Love it.
10
SPEAKER_00
Surprise, she s not a Capricorn.
10
SPEAKER_00
To me, she presents as a Capricorn.
10
SPEAKER_00
I don t even believe in it.
10
SPEAKER_00
What is she?
10
SPEAKER_00
She s March 15th.
10
SPEAKER_01
Pisces.
10
SPEAKER_00
Pisces.
10
SPEAKER_00
What is a Pisces?
10
SPEAKER_01
Is Delta Pisces?
10
SPEAKER_01
No.
10
SPEAKER_00
Well, she s March 27th.
10
SPEAKER_00
You mean Lincoln.
10
SPEAKER_00
Lincoln, I m sorry.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God, it looked up Lincoln.
10
SPEAKER_00
Resend nude picture to Bryce.
10
SPEAKER_01
Lincoln is an Aries.
10
SPEAKER_00
She s an Aries.
10
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so tell me about Pisces.
10
SPEAKER_00
Can you read me a description?
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, Liz is a Pisces.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh, Pisces.
10
SPEAKER_01
And she s a quintessential Pisces.
10
SPEAKER_00
Apex Pisces?
10
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
10
SPEAKER_01
Let s look at CoStar.
10
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
10
SPEAKER_00
Because I love CoStar.
10
SPEAKER_00
That s your trusted source.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
Pisces traits.
10
SPEAKER_01
Somehow both five and 50 years old at once,
10
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that makes sense.
10
SPEAKER_00
She s playful, but wise.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
Thinks everything is a sign.
10
SPEAKER_01
Can t remember if they dreamt it or it actually happened.
10
SPEAKER_00
Ah, is that Liz?
10
SPEAKER_01
Liz is all of these.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, she s apex Pisces.
10
SPEAKER_01
Excessively romantic.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh.
10
SPEAKER_01
Prone to fantasy.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh.
10
SPEAKER_01
No boundaries.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh, let s party.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
Wow, wow, wow.
10
SPEAKER_01
Rihanna is a Pisces.
10
SPEAKER_00
Rihanna.
10
SPEAKER_00
Sure, that seems obvious now that I know the description.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh, should I read best careers?
10
SPEAKER_01
Sure.
10
SPEAKER_01
Volunteer therapist.
10
SPEAKER_00
Why volunteer therapist?
10
SPEAKER_01
Because they shouldn t get paid.
10
SPEAKER_01
Curbside fortune teller.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh my goodness.
10
SPEAKER_00
Okay, see this is like,
10
SPEAKER_00
These are like gurus.
10
SPEAKER_01
Amateur poet, sad clown, orb of light, vapor.
10
SPEAKER_00
Vapor, oh wow, okay.
10
SPEAKER_01
And Lincoln.
10
SPEAKER_00
Pescar, Pisces.
10
SPEAKER_00
Let s hear the description of Aries.
10
SPEAKER_00
Okay, Aries.
10
SPEAKER_00
I think this matches up.
10
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, they told me this story, by the way.
10
SPEAKER_00
They went to the park yesterday, the Hanson girls and the Shepard girls with Ryan.
10
SPEAKER_00
And there was like a gaggle, I guess, of like five, seven-year-old boys.
10
SPEAKER_00
And they like came up and they were yelling and they were like, and they overheard them and one of the boys was like,
10
SPEAKER_00
Let s get these monkeys and cut their dicks off.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
10
SPEAKER_00
Seven years old.
10
SPEAKER_00
And one of the seven-year-olds called one of them the N-word.
10
SPEAKER_00
And then they all scattered around.
10
SPEAKER_00
Then they went and sat on a bench and the four girls went over as a team, like linked arms and went over and was like, stop saying those things.
10
SPEAKER_00
We re not gonna let you guys play if you re gonna talk like that.
10
SPEAKER_00
They totally confronted them as a team.
10
SPEAKER_00
And then one of the little boys was like,
10
SPEAKER_00
Your daughter s threatening to chase me or something.
10
SPEAKER_00
And Ryan goes, yeah, but were you saying mean words?
10
SPEAKER_00
And he goes, yeah, but.
10
SPEAKER_00
He couldn t lie.
10
SPEAKER_00
But anyways, then Ryan went over.
10
SPEAKER_00
I was proud of Ryan.
10
SPEAKER_00
He went over to the parents and said, I would want to know if my kid said this.
10
SPEAKER_00
I want you to know your kid just said this.
10
SPEAKER_01
Ryan, to me, is a impeccable parent.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, valiant.
10
SPEAKER_01
He s really good.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
10
SPEAKER_01
That s awesome.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, Ares.
10
SPEAKER_01
The symbol is a ram.
10
SPEAKER_01
The traits are no filter, gets angry, then forgets why they were angry.
10
SPEAKER_01
thinks everything is a game they can win, will do anything on a dare, and easily bored.
10
SPEAKER_00
Only two of those sound familiar.
10
SPEAKER_00
She certainly doesn t have the first few.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, best career stunt double, which is perfect, part-time punk, pro wrestler, petty thief, and cereal box mascot.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh wow, these are fun, these are playful.
10
SPEAKER_01
Let s find yours.
10
SPEAKER_00
Let s find yours.
10
SPEAKER_01
No, let s find yours.
10
SPEAKER_00
Let s do yours.
10
SPEAKER_01
No, let s do yours.
10
SPEAKER_00
This kind of works because she likes astrology, she said.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, exactly.
10
SPEAKER_01
We talked about it for a second.
10
SPEAKER_01
Also, you just said, I m surprised she s not a Capricorn, which means you re starting to embody it more.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you know what it was is she felt very direct.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but I m saying you are starting to embody that it s a thing.
10
SPEAKER_00
Well, certainly, you know who I feel it a lot with is Erica.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
I think like Eric and I have a very similar vibe, and I think it s why Charlie likes me so much, is it feels very kind of similar.
10
SPEAKER_01
Interesting.
10
SPEAKER_00
I think, I mean who knows, maybe he likes me because I m also tall, it could be anything.
10
SPEAKER_00
Maybe he doesn t like me too, that s also option.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, Capricorn, the sea goat.
10
SPEAKER_00
Ooh, a sea goat?
10
SPEAKER_00
That s a simple.
10
SPEAKER_00
That s a damp, wet goat.
10
SPEAKER_00
No one wants a wet goat.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, ready?
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
Full-grown adult since age six.
10
SPEAKER_01
The responsible friend.
10
SPEAKER_01
Motivated by duty.
10
SPEAKER_01
Takes a while to warm up to people.
10
SPEAKER_01
That s not you.
10
SPEAKER_01
Represses any emotion that gets in the way of success.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
These are good.
10
SPEAKER_00
These are spot on.
10
SPEAKER_01
Michelle Obama.
10
SPEAKER_00
And I would say, I would say back to the, with men, yeah, like, you know me, I don t want, I don t want new people at my house.
10
SPEAKER_00
I don t like new people.
10
SPEAKER_00
That s true.
10
SPEAKER_01
But you are friendly.
10
SPEAKER_00
I come to embrace them.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yes, yes.
10
SPEAKER_00
There s like realms in which I m fine with it, but in my house, I really don t like it.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
I get over it, but like just when any dude walks in the house that I don t know, I immediately am like, I don t want him here.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I get that.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, best careers.
10
SPEAKER_01
Accountant.
10
SPEAKER_01
Lawyer.
10
SPEAKER_01
Landlord.
10
SPEAKER_00
No!
10
SPEAKER_00
Sisyphus.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh, wow, Sisyphus.
10
SPEAKER_01
An elementary school hall monitor.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh, sure, Sheriff, aka Sheriff.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, let s do mine.
10
SPEAKER_00
Let s do yours.
10
SPEAKER_00
Leo?
10
SPEAKER_00
Nope.
10
SPEAKER_00
Libra.
10
SPEAKER_00
Virgo.
10
SPEAKER_00
Virgo.
10
SPEAKER_01
Double Virgo.
10
SPEAKER_00
Double V. I m a double V. MCL.
10
SPEAKER_01
I m an extra V. I have an extra V.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, symbol, the virgin.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh, wow.
10
SPEAKER_00
I m on the cusp though, but still.
10
SPEAKER_00
Hold on though, that s.
10
SPEAKER_01
That s the symbol.
10
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, ready?
10
SPEAKER_01
Needs to feel useful.
10
SPEAKER_01
Has a quick fix for everything.
10
SPEAKER_01
Judgmental, but with good intentions.
10
SPEAKER_01
Exceptional spatial awareness, that is not me.
10
SPEAKER_01
A million ideas per second.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, best.
10
SPEAKER_00
Do you have a million ideas per second?
10
SPEAKER_01
I mean.
10
SPEAKER_00
Do you have a million thoughts per second?
10
SPEAKER_01
A million thoughts, and there s a lot of ideas in there.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
Mixed in.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, best careers.
10
SPEAKER_01
Hot librarian.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh, for the Virgin, no less.
10
SPEAKER_01
Tupperware for other people s messes.
10
SPEAKER_01
Walking encyclopedia, human GPS, not me.
10
SPEAKER_01
No.
10
SPEAKER_01
One person welcome committee.
10
SPEAKER_00
What does that mean, one person welcome committee?
10
SPEAKER_01
I think it means host.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh, one person welcome committee.
10
SPEAKER_01
Like a welcome committee normally is multiple people.
10
SPEAKER_00
I m not even sure I know what a welcome committee is.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s like an event or something.
10
SPEAKER_01
They re the welcomers, yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
10
SPEAKER_00
So you re a one person welcomer.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
I guess that means you re very inclusive.
10
SPEAKER_01
It means, no, I think it s like host, but you don t want other people helping.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh, right.
10
SPEAKER_00
One man show.
10
SPEAKER_00
All the credit.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
Well, all the all the duties.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
And all the credit.
10
SPEAKER_00
I like all the credit.
10
SPEAKER_00
You notice when I am cooking and people go, Can I help?
10
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, of course.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you never do the dishes.
10
SPEAKER_00
And I m
11
SPEAKER_00
You know, it s got to be the whole soup to nuts thing.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh, there s a whole thing.
11
SPEAKER_00
Oh Like a book.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_00
Oh my gosh read us a book.
11
SPEAKER_01
Okay, should I read should I read the book on?
11
SPEAKER_01
What is the personality of a burger?
11
SPEAKER_01
I mean we kind of did that but this is more intense And I want to go back and read the book on Capricorn what makes Virgos happy sick with you.
11
SPEAKER_00
Oh
11
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_01
It feels braggy when you read it about yourself.
11
SPEAKER_00
Oh, does it?
11
SPEAKER_01
Okay, what type of person is a Virgo?
11
SPEAKER_01
Virgos are generally very modest.
11
SPEAKER_01
They want to feel acknowledged for their contributions, but they don t need grandiose gestures of appreciation to feel valuable.
11
SPEAKER_01
They are little geniuses.
11
SPEAKER_01
They notice the details.
11
SPEAKER_01
Virgo knows when their toothbrush has been moved even a centimeter.
11
SPEAKER_01
Virgos are insecure about the fact that they re not perfect.
11
SPEAKER_01
They re aware that their actions have consequences, but that they can at times be responsible for their own suffering.
11
SPEAKER_01
This is why you ll often hear them saying things like, it s my fault and I did this to myself.
11
SPEAKER_01
Virgos are the literal embodiment of the medieval philosopher who lives in a sterile cell.
11
SPEAKER_01
never opening the door for fear that people will catch a glimpse of the mess inside.
11
SPEAKER_01
Their motto is, quote, in order to save myself from myself, I must first destroy myself.
11
SPEAKER_01
What they want is a pure, clean existence.
11
SPEAKER_01
They need to be the best to feel worthy of their existence.
11
SPEAKER_01
They can be so obsessed with their own image of perfection that they lose touch with their true impulses.
11
SPEAKER_01
They repress their feelings by locking them away in order to achieve a state of impassivity.
11
SPEAKER_01
They can come off as far more rational than they really are.
11
SPEAKER_01
Their feelings are generally a great mystery to them.
11
SPEAKER_01
They feel so many things so deeply, but they usually don t know how to talk about it.
11
SPEAKER_01
The only way they can express the ineffable is through dry sarcasm.
11
SPEAKER_01
Some parts are real.
11
SPEAKER_01
Okay, hold on, can I read your book?
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, this was the point that my astronomy teacher made.
11
SPEAKER_00
Do you remember this great story where he invited an astronomer and he gave readings and the things got handed out in the wrong order?
11
SPEAKER_00
And everyone read them and they re like, yeah, this is.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh, right.
11
SPEAKER_00
And then the person was like, wait, wait, no, you were supposed to.
11
SPEAKER_00
And then everyone shuffled them down and then everyone s like, yeah, this is me.
11
SPEAKER_01
That s such a good.
11
SPEAKER_00
There is something to be said of like any list of adjectives, you ll try to connect.
11
SPEAKER_00
I know.
11
SPEAKER_00
You ll think of like, you can think of 10 examples of when you were like that, which is not to say it s the prevailing mode of opera.
11
SPEAKER_01
It is though, when I look at everyone s, I do think I m mostly that and I m doubles.
11
SPEAKER_01
Triple V. Okay, I m gonna read yours.
11
SPEAKER_01
Capricorns are masters of discipline.
11
SPEAKER_01
The ringing of the hands, the constant reminders, the exacting structure, the ever increasing goals, the tidal wave of self-criticism that lasts forever.
11
SPEAKER_01
They are the ultimate perfectionist.
11
SPEAKER_01
They said that about Virgos too.
11
SPEAKER_01
They can be so absorbed in their own internal monologue that it becomes impossible to get them to look away from themselves.
11
SPEAKER_01
Capricorns are often called- Narcissists.
11
SPEAKER_01
Are often called narcissists.
11
SPEAKER_00
Are often from narcissists.
11
SPEAKER_01
They re called workaholics, it says.
11
SPEAKER_01
They re incredibly pragmatic.
11
SPEAKER_01
Capricorns are rule followers with a highly developed moral compass.
11
SPEAKER_00
I just reject the mores of my culture.
11
SPEAKER_01
From a young age, it is impressed upon them that their whole sense of worth and meaning is based on their ability to hunker down and force their way to the finish line.
11
SPEAKER_01
Their drive to succeed is a reflection of their fear of failure.
11
SPEAKER_01
The most stressful time in a Capricorn s life is when they question their own authority.
11
SPEAKER_00
That s very true.
11
SPEAKER_00
But is that true for everyone?
11
SPEAKER_01
No.
11
SPEAKER_00
No, you can t relate to that.
11
SPEAKER_01
No.
11
SPEAKER_01
When a Capricorn is in a position of power, they re most stable.
11
SPEAKER_01
When they re put in a position where they have to cater to someone else s agenda.
11
SPEAKER_00
Oh, dude, it s like straight out of my mouth.
11
SPEAKER_01
Wait, when they re put in a position where they have to cater to someone else s agenda, they can become a little unhinged.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, slash violent.
11
SPEAKER_01
Capricorns collect responsibility and they always seem to take it all on.
11
SPEAKER_01
Capricorns need to be the one to fix everything.
11
SPEAKER_01
Responsibility is their natural state.
11
SPEAKER_01
They have a quote, can-do attitude.
11
SPEAKER_01
Capricorns are both the martyrs and the champions.
11
SPEAKER_01
They are the guardians and the judges, the team captains, the chief of chiefs, the general, the leader.
11
SPEAKER_01
But as they lead the charge, Capricorns can feel like the loneliest people in the world.
11
SPEAKER_01
They wish to be completely self-sufficient because they are so scared of depending on others.
11
SPEAKER_01
It s pretty good.
11
SPEAKER_00
That one s really solid.
11
SPEAKER_01
There s only a couple in there.
11
SPEAKER_00
Rule followers.
11
SPEAKER_01
No, that s not you.
11
SPEAKER_00
I think those are contradictory.
11
SPEAKER_00
I don t think you can be a leader and a rule follower.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yes, I am.
11
SPEAKER_00
Don t you think?
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I don t know why I m saying that, but it does seem that you have to break the rules to get anywhere.
11
SPEAKER_01
That s a Capricorn mindset, I don t believe that.
11
SPEAKER_00
You don t believe that, yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
I mean, you have to look outside the box, but that s not breaking the rules.
11
SPEAKER_00
Right.
11
SPEAKER_01
Like that s being unconventional is not breaking the rules.
11
SPEAKER_00
Well, the example I would give is like directing hit and run and 7,000 people telling me, you don t have enough money to shoot all these action sequences.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_00
And then me just going, no, I know how I shoot.
11
SPEAKER_00
I ve made a lot of stuff at this point, and I ve made a lot of shorts, and I know how to move, and I m with a crew that knows that.
11
SPEAKER_00
And just rejecting the commonly held belief, which I would say is a rule in a sense.
11
SPEAKER_01
I don t think that s a rule.
11
SPEAKER_00
They ll say like, you need three days for this action sequence.
11
SPEAKER_00
Like, we broke it down this way, and this is the formula, and there s even programs within Final Draft that you can, and I m like, I know, but no, I know, I m gonna, I say no, I can do that.
11
SPEAKER_00
That can be done.
11
SPEAKER_01
Right, that s different though.
11
SPEAKER_00
That s different.
11
SPEAKER_01
A rule breaker would be,
11
SPEAKER_01
You have three days, and then you say no or okay, and then you take six days.
11
SPEAKER_01
Like, there s a rule in place that you have to do this, and then you just don t.
11
SPEAKER_00
Right, well, part of me being able to do it was that I did break a lot of rules.
11
SPEAKER_00
Like, I shot on roads we didn t own.
11
SPEAKER_00
I did a lot of tricky stuff.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that is rule, that s breaking.
11
SPEAKER_00
But in order to execute this thing I knew could be done, or I believed could be done, I didn t know until I found out.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I mean, you run red lights and stuff.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, if no one s around.
11
SPEAKER_01
I don t do that.
11
SPEAKER_00
I recognize the spirit of the law, safety.
11
SPEAKER_01
Well, look.
11
SPEAKER_00
You know, as much as I don t believe in astrology, I sure love it.
11
SPEAKER_01
I love it too.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
Let me look at the app real quick.
11
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_01
Just to see what today has to do.
11
SPEAKER_01
We have to go.
11
SPEAKER_00
We have to go now.
11
SPEAKER_01
We spent most of this episode talking about stuff we had to cut.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
Or most of this fact check, anyway.
11
SPEAKER_01
Okay, this was from October 14th.
11
SPEAKER_01
PSAs for you.
11
SPEAKER_00
Why so far back?
11
SPEAKER_01
That s the last one they posted.
11
SPEAKER_01
That s a month away.
11
SPEAKER_00
Over a month ago.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God, I hope they re not.
11
SPEAKER_01
Did they die?
11
SPEAKER_01
I hope not.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, thank you.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I haven t learned.
11
SPEAKER_00
I m able to oblige.
11
SPEAKER_00
Okay, ready?
11
SPEAKER_01
PSA, October 14th, for you.
11
SPEAKER_01
Going back to the same person will create the same dynamic.
11
SPEAKER_01
Mine, you can t fix anyone.
11
SPEAKER_01
It s so dead on.
11
SPEAKER_01
It s crazy.
11
SPEAKER_01
They re listening.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
I always look at Kristen s too, cancer, is you re allowed to say no.
11
SPEAKER_00
Oh wow, that s great.
11
SPEAKER_01
Okay, ready?
11
SPEAKER_01
Another one.
11
SPEAKER_01
This is from October 11th.
11
SPEAKER_01
Gets mad at you and...
11
SPEAKER_00
Wait, this is Kristen?
11
SPEAKER_01
No, you.
11
SPEAKER_00
Oh, this is me.
11
SPEAKER_01
No, this is the heading, right?
11
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
11
SPEAKER_01
Gets mad at you and, for you, tells you to go fuck yourself in a chilling monotone.
11
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
11
SPEAKER_00
Definitely watching.
11
SPEAKER_01
Mine is gets mad at you and puts together a PowerPoint about how you hurt them.
11
SPEAKER_01
Kristen, gets mad at you and communicates exclusively via cabinet slamming.
11
SPEAKER_00
Wow, okay, that s good.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
Okay, one more.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
Okay, October 9th.
11
SPEAKER_01
Existential questions.
11
SPEAKER_01
You.
11
SPEAKER_01
Do I self-sabotage because trying and failing to get what I want would be more painful?
11
SPEAKER_00
Do I self-sabotage because trying to get what I want would be more painful?
11
SPEAKER_01
Trying and failing.
11
SPEAKER_00
Oh, trying and failing.
11
SPEAKER_00
I don t think I m a self-sabotager, do you?
11
SPEAKER_00
Well, I mean, I m a self-destructor.
11
SPEAKER_01
It s the same thing.
11
SPEAKER_00
But again, this is kind of what I m saying about it.
11
SPEAKER_00
It s like, if I focus just on addiction, well, duh.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_00
But if I focus on the rest of my life, the rest of my life is pretty well run.
11
SPEAKER_01
For sure.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
But sometimes when it s all going great.
11
SPEAKER_01
It s time to.
11
SPEAKER_01
It s time to fuck it up a little bit.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah, well.
11
SPEAKER_01
Which I would call self-sabotage.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
Mine, existential questions, what if
12
SPEAKER_00
there s no quote best performance prize at the end of it all.
12
SPEAKER_00
And hers is holding grudges my way of keeping past relationships alive in my head.
12
SPEAKER_00
I don t think that s very accurate to her actually.
12
SPEAKER_01
She s not a grudger.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
12
SPEAKER_00
This one is like,
12
SPEAKER_00
Cool, okay.
12
SPEAKER_00
This is a picture with some stuff around it.
12
SPEAKER_00
For you, Capricorn, gluten-free.
12
SPEAKER_00
It says Capricorn GF, I don t know what that means.
12
SPEAKER_00
Wakes you up at seven to make sure you get the most out of your day.
12
SPEAKER_00
Makes you change outfits if you don t look put together.
12
SPEAKER_00
That s not you.
12
SPEAKER_00
Dislikes most people except for you.
12
SPEAKER_00
Has an airtight 20-year plan.
12
SPEAKER_00
keeps a standing appointment for you in their Google calendar, writes a list of expectations and makes you sign it like a contract.
12
SPEAKER_00
I m not mad, I m just disappointed.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh, wow.
12
SPEAKER_00
Promises one day you won t have to work.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay, mine, Virgo Gluten Free, is, has learned to love your flaws but still can t help.
12
SPEAKER_01
What s the heading?
12
SPEAKER_00
Virgo GF.
12
SPEAKER_01
Oh, we don t know what GF is.
12
SPEAKER_00
Girlfriend?
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh, maybe, maybe.
12
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so let s hear it now that I understand that.
12
SPEAKER_00
But that s very gendered.
12
SPEAKER_01
Well, I think only women are reading astrology charts.
12
SPEAKER_00
No, you love it.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
12
SPEAKER_01
Wouldn t you say, wouldn t you guess though that interest in astrology is so over indexes with females?
12
SPEAKER_01
Probably, yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
Because men are too afraid to look inward.
12
SPEAKER_01
Well, no, it s in keeping with our reduced emotional intelligence.
12
SPEAKER_01
Like everything is pragmatic.
12
SPEAKER_01
Everything.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
12
SPEAKER_00
Virgo gluten-free has learned to love your flaws, but still can t help pointing them out.
12
SPEAKER_00
Keeps a toothbrush at their house for you.
12
SPEAKER_01
That s considerate.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
Gets your favorite snacks from the store without you having to ask.
12
SPEAKER_00
Picks lint off your clothes like a mother bear grooming her young.
12
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
12
SPEAKER_01
Have you done that yet on any of your dates?
12
SPEAKER_00
No.
12
Okay.
12
SPEAKER_00
Gets mad if you don t text when you get home.
12
SPEAKER_00
Ah, that s a good one.
12
SPEAKER_00
The way you load the dishwasher makes their eye twitch.
12
SPEAKER_00
Sends random updates throughout the day to let you know they re thinking of you.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay, that s enough for now.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh wait, it s 1111.
12
SPEAKER_01
Oh, your favorite time of day.
12
SPEAKER_01
I always find it.
12
SPEAKER_01
You keep getting it.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
Well, sorry, we don t have facts, but- But we do love, here s a fact, we love Eva Longoria.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that was really fun.
12
SPEAKER_00
I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving.
12
SPEAKER_01
I was delighted, because again, 18 years ago, I worked with her, 17 years ago, and it was such a fun day.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
And then I was reassured and delighted to see that we got along so well again.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, she was cool.
12
SPEAKER_01
So you never know if these are one-offs on a set or...
12
SPEAKER_00
She s very comfortable.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yes, in her own skin.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s admirable.
12
SPEAKER_00
She s not a Capra, she s Pisces.
12
SPEAKER_00
All right, love you.
12
SPEAKER_00
Love you.