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I m just allergic to the bites.
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In Santa Ynez, there s tons of tarantulas.
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I hate it.
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And they re like this.
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Get fucked.
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And they go, well, it s mating season.
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And the thing is going like one foot every two minutes.
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I go, what, is he sprinting towards someone to have sex with?
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Dude, talk about the slow plays.
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No, they really walk weird, but they re slow.
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But they re in our house up there all of a sudden.
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They go like this too.
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Creeping around.
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Yeah, that s it.
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I have them in Arizona.
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They re nuts.
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They go, those don t bite, I don t think.
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I need more proof.
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Tell that to my leg.
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Yeah.
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Tell it s my swollen left nut.
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I knew you were going there.
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I know, it s horrible.
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Don t sue my scrotum, okay?
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Dude, I... Nothing like a shark bite on your lower testicle.
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Here s Denny Johnson.
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Remember Denny Johnson?
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Denny Johnson, of course.
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He goes like this.
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The other day, he s got a van to travel for stand-up.
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He goes, the other day I slammed my finger in my van.
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It got all big and purple and swollen, so then I slammed my dick in there.
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That s a great line, that s just a great joke.
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He s the guy that said he wrote his whole act in one night when he was fucked up or something and then he always has done the, that s when you could do your same act.
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I was gonna ask Lionel that if that s true.
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There is a thing, a poison in a way, that people get 20 minutes the first week, literally, and then ride it for a half century.
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That s what they used to be able to do, you just travel with it.
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Three stooges, never change your line.
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For a half-century they went on the road because they got nothing for their shorts, and they don t and I don t know Tom Segura.
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Oh, no now.
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We have a theme it works.
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Well.
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I like the hand they work again.
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I m done done done done done Tom skirota.
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What is Hans Galaco Tom Skruga?
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He is a Tom Segura.
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He s per crushes friend.
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Oh, we re buddies gross
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Two bears, one cave.
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You think by this point they could buy a second cave, okay?
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You know, I went to Sunglass Hut the other day.
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I go, this place is doing pretty well.
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I think they can move into a building.
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Tom Segura.
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Tom Segura does well.
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By the way, everyone at the airport looks like Burt Griesha.
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I realize it s these big dudes with hats.
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Where s gate 18?
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I m like, hey Bert, hey Bert.
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Everyone s Bert.
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He did two bears.
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You did Bert s podcast, right?
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I did the half a cave and a kind of bear guy or something.
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I did one igloo.
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I was in Tom Segura s seat, I guess.
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So I did two hours with Kreischer.
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Jesus Kreischer, Carvey.
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That is good for a dentist.
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That s Kreischer.
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Yeah.
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Jesus Christ.
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Tom Segura.
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Forget about Bert.
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This is Tom.
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Tom Segura.
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Well, let s just state some facts.
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The guy is a great standup.
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Yep.
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Great standup.
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Check him out on Netflix.
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Great podcast.
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Got in early.
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Does it with his lovely wife, Christine.
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And they have a big one called Your Mother s House, right?
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Early Adopter.
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We re going to break this down in this.
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You re going to listen shortly.
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Yeah.
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You re gonna shut up and listen.
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Shut up and listen, but we re gonna break down how he figured out the podcasting thing and the... What do you call it?
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You know, the knots are like 2000, 2010.
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What is 2010 to 2020?
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What do you call that?
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That s the teens, I think.
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That s the teens?
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What if it s 12?
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You fucked me, man.
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I don t know.
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Were you saying something?
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Well, it was like 2012 or 13, he was really getting into podcasting.
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Yes.
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And he s a scientist about how it influences your draw on the road.
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And we break all that down.
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We break down things a lot.
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He s on a worldwide tour called I m Coming Everywhere, which is a funny title.
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And he rakes in cash.
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Tour, podcast.
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He tours around the world.
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Tom Segura.
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Steal some more money in the gutters.
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Yeah, and then there s stuff in a trash can.
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Get the lid off.
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Kick the can.
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Yeah, it s clean out the leaf bag.
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As long as you say what you re doing, it s a perfect sound.
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It s all funny noises.
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Have you seen my character Sound Effecty?
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Guy.
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Gets in a car.
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Adjusts the mirror.
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Puts it in gear.
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Gets a clown horn.
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Gets a clown horn.
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Anyway.
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So Tom Segura, check him out.
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Tom Segura is our guest and- We had fun with him.
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He s really funny, fun, super smart.
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And he ll say just dry things.
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He s very, like Herbert Kreischer is loud and he s such a big presence and Tom is the calm one.
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So they re fun together and we ve gotten them both.
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We just go quietly until the podcast starts.
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It s only an hour, you still have the rest of your day.
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I know, what the fuck?
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It s only an hour, it s like a ripoff.
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I don t know why when we execute prisoners it doesn t go well half the time and they come back alive.
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They don t have it wired.
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Can you choose to be exploded or just hit in the head with a sledgehammer or Mike Tyson with a free punch?
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That s how I want to go out.
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That s a great idea and I don t think they really give you choices anymore and they should.
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You should be able to say.
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You should pick from a hundred things.
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How would you want to go out?
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Well, first I would want to just chug a quart of vodka probably.
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I mean, I d want to get really anesthetized.
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I ve had operations where I m coming to on morphine and they could have just chopped me in half.
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I couldn t care less.
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So I d get vodka, morphine, and then I would try to run a hundred miles in the desert.
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Oh, okay.
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So you d want to accomplish something.
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Right.
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Yeah.
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I don t know.
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I wouldn t have lofty goals anymore.
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I don t know.
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What about you, Tom or David?
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What about what do you guys got?
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I mean, the feel good podcast of the year.
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I d like to see, like, if I could.
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like really take a stab at, you know, like how, like how, how many does it take?
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Like woodsy of the owl on the pop commercial.
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How many does it take till you go, all right, enough?
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Yeah.
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What if it was like somebody just throw, I ve always wanted to see some, like push a safe off of a ledge onto somebody.
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So, you know, do it to me.
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I d like Tony Robbins to push my head into that cold plunge pool he has and just hold me under.
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you know, but doing me a favor, doing me a favor.
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Cause that guy s got meaty mitts.
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He does.
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This is one of our most interesting startings.
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Um, but Tom Segura, Dana is Tom Segura, an American hero.
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He, um, I mean, I don t think he, he, what did he do?
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He created a comedy empire outside the traditional system of Johnny Carson and Saturday night live.
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He s here right now, Tom.
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And he created a comedy empire leveraging this new technology.
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And it s brilliant.
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And his specials are amazing, I have to say.
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I heard a lot of your good stuff today.
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Thank you.
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Don t forget, I hosted Ask the Now twice, but keep going.
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You did?
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That was back when they weren t filming it?
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That s funny, because we get a Tom Segura guest prep.
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They would tell us that.
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Have they asked you to host recently?
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Um, negative.
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That s kind of strange because you ve reached critical mass where they would think, hmm, check the numbers.
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Well, you have to be on the radar because listen, first of all, with SNL, you grew up, you did grow up.
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And when you were growing up, did you watch SNL?
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Most people did.
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So much.
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And what was your chunk that you were into the most chunk of,
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Let s, when you were 12 or 14 and what you re like 19.
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I mean, Dana is the fucking goat for sure.
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Yes.
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Yeah, you re the greatest.
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Tom, I m blushing if I could.
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You are.
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Thank you.
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I mean, I was, um, of course, uh, I was absolutely obsessed.
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I never missed it.
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And for that time period, you know, so I was, uh, what I was born in 79, you know, when you get into the early nineties, late eighties, early nineties that there s probably like a, there s probably a six year window there where I don t miss a single episode.
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I think, you know, that s, um,
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Like that was what we did.
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I mean, I told David when we podcasted, it was like, we would watch SNL and then it s like Monday morning, you just go in and just repeat the lines.
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You just do impressions.
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That s all we would do.
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I mean, you know, just like all, all the impressions.
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And you were, you re a fucking chameleon.
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I mean, you were amazing Dana.
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Thank you.
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Thank you.
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I know that David was there.
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No, Lauren did say, David, I want you to be an extra.
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By the way, the funniest thing about Lauren is saying, I brought you in as a backup for Dana, knowing he was leaving.
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And I m like, I don t even do what Dana does.
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No one does like, just cause I have blonde hair.
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It s like, I do a whole different thing, but Dana was so good and so fun to watch.
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that it made it impossible for someone like me to even contemplate going on SNL, because Dana s like the quintessential SNL person.
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Funny, scores, goes into sketches, disappears, and any characters in the news, you play them.
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And that s so versatile, and you could have a standout, like the lead character, or like you said, you could walk through a scene and deliver a line.
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And I think that would probably be,
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For like, when I imagine, I always imagine what it s like not to host, but to be a cast member, because it s like, obviously, that s not a thing that will ever happen.
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But like you imagine it and I go, man, that would intimidate the shit out of me to be in a cast with you.
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I think I would be like, fuck, because you re so good at all of it that I would just be like, I don t know what I do here.
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It surprised me too, just quickly.
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I did not have an enormous amount of confidence when I was cast.
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Really?
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And it was a little bit like, okay, I guess I got it.
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I felt a little sick to my stomach.
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But as I went forward, when I was trying to do stand-up as a sketch player,
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without really great material, but just riffing characters.
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Sometimes that was kind of difficult.
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But as I got up forward on SNL, I got more confidence and that getting confidence is a magical feeling at whatever you re doing.
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Going back to our guest, Tom.
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No, it s like, when, when did you, when did you turn like you re, you, you started doing standup and you re going along and then
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At one point you kind of leaped forward.
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Was it confidence, work ethic, or just time?
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I mean, how soon would you have gone, I m pretty much consistently can do an hour and pretty much consistently levitate the room.
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Well, or even when you felt confident, like I m going to, what was the first time you said, okay, I m going to do this?
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I was definitely a relentless worker as a stand-up, so once I understood how the system worked, I was like, oh, they let you MC.
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I just wanted to feature, right?
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I just wanted to be the middle act.
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every single offer all over the country to middle everywhere.
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Then when I cracked headlining, I just kept doing it so aggressively.
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I hated having a week off.
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I mean, not like anybody enjoys that, but I m saying it was just like a relentless,
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pursuit of it, and then you kind of feel like, yeah, there s a thing where you go like, oh, I m proficient at this, I know how to do this, but you realize it doesn t matter if people don t know, like, people would come to the shows and have a good time, but you re like, man, this thing s not gonna change unless people buy tickets, you know?
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To see you.
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Yeah, it s like.
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You re just coming, you re just there because they re coming to a comedy club in general.
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SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
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But you need them to switch and go, because they used to have mailing lists and stuff, and maybe you did that.
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Oh, I did.
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You know, we call it obviously they call it papering the room.
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It s like the club goes, hey, we re at the, you know, this is the Omaha funny bone at the mall.
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And they just reach out to their list and they go, here s the act this week.
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And people go, who s that?
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And they go, well, it s a free ticket.
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That s what I did.
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I just did those for years and years and did those over and over and over.
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But you get to the point where you re like, hey, I feel like I could sell a ticket if people knew who I was.
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But the only thing that was doing that at the time was just specials.
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SPEAKER_02
You have to get a special out.
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That became just my goal was to get an hour special out.
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SPEAKER_02
Then when it did come out, it did change things for me.
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SPEAKER_01
First one changed things?
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, well, the half hour did.
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That s the funny thing is I remember the producer at Comedy Central.
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I m in New York and we re shooting Comedy Central Presents, which was like, I thought, I mean, a huge goal, right?
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SPEAKER_02
Because every comic that I looked up to had a presents and I shot it and it went well.
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And I remember the producer pulling me aside going,
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This is going to change your road work.
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And I was like, really?
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And I got so excited, but I tried to keep it inside.
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SPEAKER_02
I was like, Oh, thank you so much.
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SPEAKER_02
Oh, thank you, God.
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SPEAKER_02
And it came out and.
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SPEAKER_02
When it came out, I saw some stuff on social media or whatever, and then I was like, well, what s about to happen?
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SPEAKER_02
I called my agent and I was like, hey, I want to work this club.
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SPEAKER_02
He s like, okay.
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He called and he goes, yeah, they said no.
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And I go, but I have a Comedy Central Presents.
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But I did a Game Changer.
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They don t care.
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SPEAKER_01
Everyone says Game Changer.
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SPEAKER_01
My agents every year used to go, this is gonna be your year.
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And I go, you fucking liar.
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SPEAKER_01
You say that every year and it gets me, actually, I believe it.
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SPEAKER_01
I go, this one?
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SPEAKER_01
They re like, yeah, I go, like they know something.
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SPEAKER_01
I go, they just say that to shut you up.
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And I m like.
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Oh my God.
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SPEAKER_01
Well, what should I do to prepare?
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SPEAKER_01
And then that s what you were doing is like, I got a presents under my belt.
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SPEAKER_01
That s funny when people go, you do a premium brand blend, you do presents, you know, that s the lingo.
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SPEAKER_02
Dude.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
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And I really thought like, this is gonna be a real thing for me.
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Like this is going to make things different.
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You know, I really did.
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SPEAKER_01
I agree.
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I mean, do you think that s you re famous?
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You go, I will be famous starting tomorrow.
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Did you, from that first half hour, did you feel like, um, I ll just get better?
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Or, or did you, did you work even harder?
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SPEAKER_00
Or how did, did you keep improving from that point?
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SPEAKER_00
Because the writing I m seeing now is, is so, you know, as good as it gets, the bit you re landing, um, and the acting you re doing in it.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, when did that come up?
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SPEAKER_00
Was it sort of the first one that went on Netflix or something?
1
SPEAKER_00
Did you make leaps even, or was it just exposure?
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SPEAKER_00
You were already,
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SPEAKER_00
completely.
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SPEAKER_02
I think I always, I think I always say, you know, it s funny, you re around, you re around comedians, obviously, all the time, right?
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SPEAKER_02
As a comic.
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SPEAKER_02
And you see, you realize what a disease, the bitterness of these guys.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Never hang out with comedians.
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SPEAKER_02
I hate you guys.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it s like they re, they re just, but they re just like miserable about they re like, shit just never worked.
1
SPEAKER_02
And I, I always tried to stay away from those like that, or at least I, you can t stay away from it, but you go, I don t want to embrace that.
1
SPEAKER_02
And so I told myself that I was like, well, if this didn t change things like the way that I go, it s the next thing.
1
SPEAKER_02
And the next thing, the next step up would be the full hour.
1
SPEAKER_02
So I was like, I need to do an hour special, which again,
1
SPEAKER_02
became my sole goal, and I only cared about being on Comedy Central, because that was the spot.
1
SPEAKER_02
It was 2013, I was like, it s gotta be Comedy Central.
1
SPEAKER_02
And we invited Comedy Central to see it, and they said,
1
SPEAKER_02
They literally said, well, there s not really a theme.
1
SPEAKER_02
That was the feedback I got.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, really?
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I told my manager at the time, I was like, I think the theme is jokes.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know, Tom, I m more like that too.
1
SPEAKER_01
I look at some people s act and I go, when they do a whole special about something, I m baffled.
1
SPEAKER_01
I can t even come up with jokes about just, when you have the whole playing field, you can do a joke about anything in the world.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then when they go, I m going to do them about, just about my divorce, the whole thing.
1
SPEAKER_01
And you go, holy shit.
1
SPEAKER_02
And I still can t, all my hours are like a bit about this, bit about that.
1
SPEAKER_02
I mean, it s never like, here s the cohesive.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
So we ended up shooting it on spec.
1
SPEAKER_02
and we still senate economy central uh... because they only seem like a version of it at a club and i go right here s the finished product and they said no again
1
SPEAKER_00
Wow, so how does Tom Segura, because I like to use the name in that context, how do you deal with that kind of rejection?
1
SPEAKER_00
Are you bummed out for a week?
1
SPEAKER_00
Because I auditioned for SNL once, and I followed Kennison at the store, and it was a death trap and a death set.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I was kind of, I wouldn t say clinically depressed, I wouldn t label myself as depressed, but I was really- Because she was so good.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was bummed out.
1
SPEAKER_00
for a couple months just at that.
1
SPEAKER_00
So when you hear no, now it s two times in a row, are you pretty resilient?
1
SPEAKER_00
Obviously you wouldn t be here.
1
SPEAKER_00
Do you take a knee for a day?
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, you have a couple of beers.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, how do you process it?
1
SPEAKER_00
I ll show those motherfuckers.
1
SPEAKER_00
Might be a good way to go.
1
SPEAKER_02
I m definitely bummed.
1
SPEAKER_02
I m definitely in the moment a little bitter.
1
SPEAKER_02
I m definitely like, this is such fucking bullshit.
1
SPEAKER_02
I m looking at
2
SPEAKER_02
But the ones that they did choose, and I m like, you took this piece of shit?
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah, I ve done that.
2
SPEAKER_01
There you go.
2
SPEAKER_01
You look like De Niro for a second.
2
SPEAKER_00
You took this piece of shit?
2
SPEAKER_02
Fucking piece of shit.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s your hilarious theme act you love so much?
2
SPEAKER_00
Also like, what s the theme of this fucking dog shit?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, the theme is dog shit.
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then I actually got, you know, it s, I ve, I ve said it before, but like the same call where I get the note, the news that they re passing, I m just on the phone.
2
SPEAKER_02
I pulled over, I was like out in La Cienega and I pulled over and I was like,
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m just listening.
2
SPEAKER_02
He goes, and then he goes, by the way, uh, we sent it to HBO and I go seriously.
2
SPEAKER_02
And he goes, yeah, they said no to, and I m like, okay, why would you even tell me this?
2
SPEAKER_02
I, and then he s like, uh, send it to Showtime.
2
SPEAKER_02
They said, no, no, across the board.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m like, cool.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then he goes, but, um, Netflix.
2
SPEAKER_02
And it s, and in 2013, it s like, it s, it s a thing, but it s not like the hot place to be.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
House of Cards was around that time or just maybe not?
2
SPEAKER_01
Maybe.
2
SPEAKER_01
Cause that, that was a big sea change.
2
SPEAKER_01
House of Cards, they re doing, Kevin Spacey s going on Netflix.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re right at the edge of it, right?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
I think it s close, but I don t think it s out yet.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then he s like, no, like they re getting a lot of subscribers now.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I m like, great.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s how the phone call ends.
2
SPEAKER_02
I go, all right, well, thanks.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I m just kind of bummed out, but I go, what can I do?
2
SPEAKER_02
And what I can do is literally go back to work.
2
SPEAKER_02
So I just go back on the road and I just act like, I guess I got to just come up with a new hour and try this again.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t know, that is probably six months before.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, wait, you got the news that Netflix wanted your horrible hour.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
And they go, they re into bad comedy right now.
2
SPEAKER_00
And this is our window.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
But you don t give it to them?
2
SPEAKER_00
No, I do.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you do, okay.
2
SPEAKER_02
I ll go like, fine, it ll come out later, whatever.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I just completely just move on.
2
SPEAKER_00
You did the opposite.
2
SPEAKER_00
You didn t bank everything on it.
2
SPEAKER_00
You just said, fuck it, good, throw it out.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s gonna die on Netflix, Flexflix, whatever it s called, it s gonna die.
2
SPEAKER_02
I thought it would definitely do less for me than the Presents.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, right.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then I just, it came out, and I remember when it came out,
2
SPEAKER_02
Again, you see some tweets and a couple of people said, I guess, stop me.
2
SPEAKER_02
Hey, I saw that.
2
SPEAKER_02
I was like, great.
2
SPEAKER_02
Great, fuck you.
2
SPEAKER_02
I didn t think anything of it.
2
SPEAKER_02
Then three months later, I remember I did the Cleveland improv.
2
SPEAKER_02
The guy, the manager, comes up to me at the end of the week.
2
SPEAKER_02
He goes, I don t know why the fuck this happened.
2
SPEAKER_02
but you sold some tickets this weekend.
2
SPEAKER_00
Wow, that gave me the chills though.
2
SPEAKER_00
I mean, the fact that you re suddenly valuable in some way.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s a rush.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s a lifelong goal that you re like, wait.
2
SPEAKER_00
That sentence.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re selling a shit ton of tickets when that starts to happen, it s like.
2
SPEAKER_02
And here s the thing, here s how fucking removed from the correlation of the two.
2
SPEAKER_02
I was like, wait, why?
2
SPEAKER_02
He s like, no, I don t know why.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he s shocked.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s how he doesn t think you re that good.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s just, I m stunned, man.
2
SPEAKER_02
He like sends me the breakdown.
2
SPEAKER_02
He s like, look at this shit.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I m like, what is that?
2
SPEAKER_02
He goes, well, you hit some bonuses, but he goes, I don t know, man.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then he just like walked away.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I just thought, well, that was a good weekend.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I still wasn t like, oh, the special s working, you know?
2
SPEAKER_02
And then the next few months, it started to happen more and more and more.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then it became a thing where it was like, hey,
2
SPEAKER_02
You sold out this weekend, like the whole weekend sold out.
2
SPEAKER_02
That was probably after like six months.
2
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_01
It took that long to seep, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_01
And that was the one called Completely Normal, 2014.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, we shot it in 13.
2
SPEAKER_02
It came out at 14.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then by 15, I was just doing, well, by the end of 14, I was selling out clubs.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then in 15, I was doing like rock clubs and, you know, like one-nighters in like small theaters or just like, I could like add, I could go to like a club on a Monday and just they d give me the door and I would just,
2
SPEAKER_02
You know, I was starting to work like that, like... Casinos too, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
Man.
2
SPEAKER_00
Casinos are where it s at, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Casinos pay more, but sometimes the audience can feel a little tough.
2
SPEAKER_02
This is a crazy inside baseball thing, but there are casinos, and this is really crazy when you actually just do the finance, like the numbers on this.
2
SPEAKER_02
There are a number of casinos that will pay well over the gross of the show.
2
SPEAKER_02
And when you think of that, you re like, wait, what?
2
SPEAKER_02
The show is grossing X amount, and they re gonna pay you over that.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then you realize, well, there s a,
2
SPEAKER_02
There s a calculation that they do.
2
SPEAKER_02
They re like, if this many people come to the casino, we don t even care that we re parting with this, because these people are going to get rooms, gamble, drink, eat.
2
SPEAKER_02
And you re like, the way that it becomes a little ecosystem of an economy in a night, it s really fascinating.
2
SPEAKER_01
Playing the Desert Inn in Vegas, which was an incredible room.
2
SPEAKER_01
Now it s the wind, it was blowing up.
2
SPEAKER_01
600 seats, low ceiling.
2
SPEAKER_01
I go down for the sound check and they got a Goomba-type manager there.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I go, how are the ticket sales?
2
SPEAKER_01
And this is a quote.
2
SPEAKER_01
Mark Pitter was there, my opener.
2
SPEAKER_01
He goes, what do I give a shit?
2
SPEAKER_01
I got Indonesians dropping 10 Lodge upstairs tonight.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s all it is.
2
SPEAKER_01
Indonesians dropping 10 large, but yeah, they do the analytics.
2
SPEAKER_01
They told me they ll see what carrot top numbers are or like how much money is dropped in the casino that night.
2
SPEAKER_00
On your night.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Does your audience go out and then spend some money?
2
SPEAKER_00
Does your audience drink?
2
SPEAKER_00
Does your audience- Does your audience get drunk and leverage their house?
2
SPEAKER_00
Do our high rollers
2
SPEAKER_00
ask for your tickets because you can see the front row.
2
SPEAKER_00
And a lot of times when you do Vegas or any of these places, casinos, the front row is sparse or it s choppy because people go, give me tickets to everything.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m a high roller.
2
SPEAKER_00
And they go, you got two tickets up front.
2
SPEAKER_00
If you want them, you got this, this, and you know, they walk in like Meghan Markle in the middle of your set if they want.
2
SPEAKER_00
But sometimes they go, nah, we, you know, I think what the calculation is, they just need to get them.
2
SPEAKER_00
And the showroom is always in the very farthest corner of the casino.
2
SPEAKER_00
So they have to walk by and they calculate, they probably spend $22 on slots on the way out of boredom.
2
SPEAKER_00
They walk by our restaurants, they probably eat at one.
2
SPEAKER_00
Now they re aware of our casino because Tom Segura,
2
SPEAKER_00
They ve never come here, but because we re mixing up our acts, they go, oh, I ll go see him.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then they go, oh, I ve never been to this casino.
2
SPEAKER_00
I ll come back.
2
SPEAKER_00
So they got to get them in somehow.
2
SPEAKER_00
They don t want you to do your act.
2
SPEAKER_00
Get them in touch base and go back out.
2
SPEAKER_02
I just had this happen at a casino.
2
SPEAKER_02
This is wild.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m backstage and it s a big room.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s a 6,000 seat room.
2
SPEAKER_02
So basically it s a what they consider a half arena, right?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
That type of shell design.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Big room.
2
SPEAKER_02
And there s, um,
2
SPEAKER_02
And in those types of rooms, the way that it s laid out, it s kind of hard.
2
SPEAKER_02
You can t really peek out.
2
SPEAKER_02
They have huge, you know, scaffolding and curtains everywhere.
2
SPEAKER_02
But I hear Kirk Fox, who s on stage, and I hear him at one point go, Hey, man.
2
SPEAKER_02
He goes, Hey, man.
2
SPEAKER_02
You got to calm down, okay?
2
SPEAKER_02
And it s not like, I m like, this is definitely some shit.
2
SPEAKER_02
If Kirk is saying that, he s pretty chill.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, he s pretty chill.
2
SPEAKER_02
And he s like, he s so funny.
2
SPEAKER_02
And so it makes my ear, you know, it catches my ear.
2
SPEAKER_02
So I turn and I m like, what s going on?
2
SPEAKER_02
So I try to see, but I can t really see.
2
SPEAKER_02
I just see Kirk up there on the stage.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then, you know, a few minutes pass and he goes, Hey man, Hey dude, I m telling you.
2
SPEAKER_02
I want you to stay, but you got to calm down.
2
SPEAKER_02
And so then I m backstage and I got like, at these big casinos, there s like 200 security staff.
2
SPEAKER_02
Like it s a lot of security, right?
2
SPEAKER_02
So they start coming around.
2
SPEAKER_02
I hear they re all on their walkies and their earpieces.
2
SPEAKER_02
So I m like, what is happening?
2
SPEAKER_02
And they re like, well, there s this guy in the front row.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I m like, what are you going to do?
2
SPEAKER_02
And they go, well, we think it s going to be too disruptive to remove him during Kirk s set.
2
SPEAKER_02
So what we re going to do is, because he s getting through it, he s almost done.
2
SPEAKER_02
When he gets off stage and you re about to go on stage, that s when we ll remove him.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I go, hey man, it s your security, do whatever you want.
2
SPEAKER_02
I just wanna know what s going on.
2
SPEAKER_02
And they re like, that s what we re gonna do.
2
SPEAKER_02
I go, okay, great.
2
SPEAKER_02
Kirk finishes his day, he says goodnight, he walks off stage, they start playing a song and that s like my cue that I have like 10 seconds and then I walk on stage.
2
SPEAKER_02
So I walk on stage and as I walk on stage,
2
SPEAKER_02
I grabbed the mic and I see like eight, nine yellow security shirts, you know, big black letters on it all gathered around this dude in the front row.
2
SPEAKER_02
So I m just, you know, how s everybody doing?
2
SPEAKER_02
I m just still like, what s up?
2
SPEAKER_02
And I grabbed the mic and I m like, Hey, and I,
3
SPEAKER_00
I can t even get out the first sentence and this becomes mayhem, right?
3
SPEAKER_00
So like they are holding this guy and I see his head pop out from under like a choco and he goes, Tom, Tom.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, he goes, I came to see you.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I go, what do you mean to do?
3
SPEAKER_00
And he goes, help me.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, help me.
3
SPEAKER_00
I go, I think it s beyond my control now.
3
SPEAKER_00
They start to pull him and dude, it s taking like six, seven guys.
3
SPEAKER_00
His girl pops up and she fucking punches one of the security guys.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, and I m sitting here from the stage.
3
SPEAKER_00
I haven t started talking yet.
3
SPEAKER_02
Everyone s watching and you, you re all just watching.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
And there s the jumbotron watching you watch.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I m just like, you gotta be kidding me.
3
SPEAKER_00
She turns and starts yelling at me too.
3
SPEAKER_00
I go, what do you want me to do?
3
SPEAKER_00
She takes her beer, throws it on one of the security guys.
3
SPEAKER_00
Smart.
3
SPEAKER_00
The guys start dragging the guy out.
3
SPEAKER_00
And when they drag him out, he takes them into an aisle.
3
SPEAKER_00
So he, he dragged security guys into an aisle.
3
SPEAKER_00
I see shoes come off.
3
SPEAKER_00
pants come off, they finally get him stood up, underwear s off.
3
SPEAKER_00
He s fully naked in the arena now, right?
3
SPEAKER_00
It s Conor McGregor.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m like, oh my God.
3
SPEAKER_00
This guy s like, I would say maybe 5 9 , 265, 270 pounds.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
So looks good with his clothes off.
3
SPEAKER_00
Looks great.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s a nice shot.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m able to put like the show back on the tracks.
3
SPEAKER_00
I finally get off stage and I m like, I m like, dude, that was the fucking wildest opening to a show I ve ever had.
3
SPEAKER_00
And they go, yeah, you know, the cops here, that guy s in jail, blah, blah, blah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like half an hour later, we re walking through the casino.
3
SPEAKER_00
There s the guy.
3
SPEAKER_00
No, there s the guy in his.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, how is he walking around?
3
SPEAKER_00
You betrayed me.
3
SPEAKER_00
He doesn t see me.
3
SPEAKER_00
But when he walks by, we re all like, that s the guy.
3
SPEAKER_00
And we talked to one of the security people, high roller.
3
SPEAKER_00
He s a front row, high roller.
3
SPEAKER_00
Whale.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, he s a whale.
3
SPEAKER_00
They re like, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
I go, this dude, this dude like knocked one of your.
3
SPEAKER_00
And what they get away with, unreal.
3
SPEAKER_00
They re like, yeah, 10 grand a hand, dude.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s fine.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s totally fine.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, willing to look the other way.
3
SPEAKER_01
So how did you, how long did it take you to feel like you re doing your set then after he goes out naked and they re screaming and fighting?
3
SPEAKER_01
Did you go into your set or you do like old club stuff where you kind of do all quasi crowd work?
3
SPEAKER_00
You know, the funny thing is it s always less time than you think.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like in your head, you re like, that was 10 minutes.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s really like three, but
3
SPEAKER_00
Three minutes of talking about something that s happening in the room is a long time.
3
SPEAKER_02
And it s not jokes, and you re in uncharted territory, you don t know if it s funny, and you wanted to start going, anyway, dogs are funny.
3
SPEAKER_02
And everyone goes, oh, we re back in the act.
3
SPEAKER_01
Did you get an angle on it, Tom?
3
SPEAKER_01
Because your experience, because a lot of times I would intuitively go from that guy s point of view, let s go to the show tonight, it s going to be great, or just find an angle.
3
SPEAKER_01
about it, you know?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I was making commentary about it.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was asking, you know, when I was asking, like, I would see big muscular dudes, like, you know, where were you?
3
SPEAKER_00
We needed you, like, a moment ago.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, okay, there you go.
3
SPEAKER_00
Anytime that I would say something in the act that referenced, like, somebody who is out of their mind, drunk or drunk, you know, I d make reference to the guy.
3
SPEAKER_00
He was like, he was like a callback thing.
3
SPEAKER_00
Built-in callback is nice.
3
SPEAKER_00
I would also tell the people how I would reference other popular comedians and how they would not have gotten that at one of their shows.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was like- Oh, that s your crowd.
3
SPEAKER_01
And that every night you have some naked guy fighting security guards.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s not a thing.
3
SPEAKER_02
I was like, you think you re going to get this at a Sebastian show?
3
SPEAKER_02
You know what s good?
3
SPEAKER_02
Dana, do you ever do this one where you go, these guys that work their jokes in, they go,
3
SPEAKER_02
Like they go, where are you from?
3
SPEAKER_02
And the guy goes, he wants to hear Cleveland.
3
SPEAKER_02
And he goes, Cincinnati.
3
SPEAKER_02
He goes, this guy last night was from Cleveland.
3
SPEAKER_02
And he said, and you go, was it always last night?
3
SPEAKER_02
And I go, I see the guy seven nights in a row say it.
3
SPEAKER_02
I go,
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh, that s just part of his act.
3
SPEAKER_02
If they re not, if it s not what he wants to hear, or you could go, this guy last night started some shit in the front row.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then you say that for three years, everything s last night.
3
SPEAKER_01
Or what is the town that you mentioned that will get a big reaction?
3
SPEAKER_01
Like I w I was in, you know, Bucks County and you know, whatever town away that, that just gets a huge laugh in Fresno.
3
SPEAKER_02
It was, uh, Merced, I think, or, you know, it s just, you have to be a reliable person, Dana, they give you the wrong one and it bombs.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, just to fuck with him.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s like at a corporate gig when they go make fun of the crowd.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then the guy goes, I know everybody here.
3
SPEAKER_02
You know what s funny?
3
SPEAKER_02
Talk about our VP of sales.
3
SPEAKER_02
He has three balls and beats his wife.
3
SPEAKER_02
Say something about that.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I go, oh, well, I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then you say something and everyone s like, what the fuck are you talking about?
3
SPEAKER_02
And the guy s like, is that hilarious?
3
SPEAKER_02
And you re like, no, Jim has M.S., but he s got a sense of humor about it.
3
SPEAKER_00
He really laughs about it.
3
SPEAKER_00
And you re like, oh, OK, OK.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I remember Jay Leno telling me he was doing a corporate date and he s just making fun of some couple.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, a lot of people, you know, they hook up when they re on the road, this and that.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then the woman was next to the guy and she, she s got up and screamed and cried and ran out.
3
SPEAKER_01
You don t know what, what you re, you re touching.
3
SPEAKER_02
Tom, when you were doing this with the Dana, I m sorry, I have to go back.
3
SPEAKER_02
The information you didn t have which might have helped is what went on for so long?
3
SPEAKER_02
Was he pushing people?
3
SPEAKER_02
Was he yelling?
3
SPEAKER_00
I got, I found out, I found out.
3
SPEAKER_00
So when all the shit finally came, I was like, Kirk, what was happening?
3
SPEAKER_00
He was like, dude, he, and this is one of the worst things people think about, you know, about heckling and stuff.
3
SPEAKER_00
He was repeating everything that Kirk said back to Kirk, but he s in the front row and loudly.
3
SPEAKER_00
So like, you know, Kirk would be like, and then, you know, I rode the bus.
3
SPEAKER_00
He d be like, you rode the bus.
3
SPEAKER_00
Ha ha, the bus.
3
SPEAKER_00
So he was just like, hey man, you just gotta relax.
3
SPEAKER_02
I just had that at the comedy store.
3
SPEAKER_02
The guy, I don t even know if something was up with him, but he looked like he was in a great time.
3
SPEAKER_02
And he just kept saying my punchline after to the people around him.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s the worst.
3
SPEAKER_02
But everyone hears it and it stops my next setup.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I m like, I go, hey man, you know, I try to be nice.
3
SPEAKER_02
And when they kicked him out, he was the same thing.
3
SPEAKER_02
He s like,
3
SPEAKER_02
David, Tom wouldn t help me, but would you?
3
SPEAKER_02
But he did say, Hey man, he looks up to me.
3
SPEAKER_02
And that s the weirdest feeling.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m like, I can t, I have to let you go now.
3
SPEAKER_00
I had a guy on the balcony scream.
3
SPEAKER_00
I got to even know what s going on.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s a balcony.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s a melee now.
3
SPEAKER_00
Theater.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is a different show.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I m just on stage and he just starts to yell, they re throwing out the wrong guy.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, what?
3
SPEAKER_00
And he s like, they re throwing out the wrong guy.
3
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I go, I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_00
It sounds like the right guy to me.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like all of it too is all always related to just booze.
3
SPEAKER_00
They re always just drunk.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
That guy in the front row was drunk.
3
SPEAKER_00
This guy s drunk.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s always alcohol.
3
SPEAKER_01
I sometimes will get, because a church lady, just someone in the back about every 10 seconds just going, lady.
3
SPEAKER_01
throughout my set.
3
SPEAKER_01
Lady!
3
SPEAKER_02
So gross, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s why we love stand-up, when you have a hot audience.
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, the point is when they start, Dana, they start yelling at each other, and it s pure chaos.
3
SPEAKER_01
Mm-hmm.
3
SPEAKER_02
This guy s like, hey, shut the fuck up.
3
SPEAKER_02
And he goes, fuck you.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, and I go.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, when the audience is heckling each other, this is fucking amazing.
3
SPEAKER_01
Or that you look over and they re standing at the edge of the stage.
3
SPEAKER_01
A drunk guy, six foot five, is just standing there.
3
SPEAKER_01
He s on the stage with you now.
3
SPEAKER_01
Do you hold your ground?
3
SPEAKER_01
We ask him, and do you hold your ground?
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t.
3
SPEAKER_01
I say, you got it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Go ahead.
3
SPEAKER_01
Some people, if they have a guitar, they ll fight or try to fight for the stage.
3
SPEAKER_01
If someone storms it, I leave, but you look pretty like you could handle yourself physically, Tom.
3
SPEAKER_01
You probably could fight a heckler.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
It depends on if he s 6 5 .
3
SPEAKER_01
All right, make him 5 10 .
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m taking the mic stand and swinging it at him for sure.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, let s go, man.
3
SPEAKER_01
So what I m curious about, to pivot for a second if you guys want, is that fairly recently, because I ve been at this a long time, you just started to make some money.
3
SPEAKER_01
Real money.
3
SPEAKER_01
You re stacking money in the bank.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, it s happening, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
You re making real money.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s Fort Knox over there.
3
SPEAKER_01
And now it s just only six, seven years later and you have at least probably 50 grand net in the bank right now.
3
SPEAKER_01
Easy.
3
SPEAKER_01
But anyway, you ve gotten incredibly successful in such a short period of time outside the systems.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t have a question.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s just an observation.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s just an extraordinary story that we hear about as comedians.
3
SPEAKER_01
Tom s doing this.
3
SPEAKER_01
Tom did that.
3
SPEAKER_01
Tom did a live stream.
4
SPEAKER_01
Tom, Tom, Tom, that s all I hear about.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s really fun.
4
SPEAKER_01
And Sebastian.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then there s Sebastian, too.
4
SPEAKER_01
There s just people enjoying him.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I hear about him.
4
SPEAKER_02
Well, you re doing a lot of stuff.
4
SPEAKER_02
Now, Tom, my question is, when you are doing... Okay, so you do sort of maybe like a formula where we jumped off.
4
SPEAKER_02
You do a special.
4
SPEAKER_02
Looks like you did one mostly stories for Netflix, and then they asked you for another one, and your first one obviously seeped in.
4
SPEAKER_02
So you go, yeah, I ll do another one.
4
SPEAKER_02
but now you have to come up with a new hour, I guess, that s hard.
4
SPEAKER_02
So you do that, and now it s a system.
4
SPEAKER_02
Are you starting a podcast around now, or did you have it?
4
SPEAKER_00
I started the podcast three years, almost three years before the first special.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, oh.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so 2010 or 11.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay, way back.
4
SPEAKER_00
Late 2010, I started the podcast.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
The cool thing about that was,
4
SPEAKER_00
Those definitely started to feed each other.
4
SPEAKER_00
Sure.
4
SPEAKER_00
Even if, you know, I don t know, I remember at one point, I think we had 20,000 listeners on the podcast, you know, spread out.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s not that many people.
4
SPEAKER_00
But if you re just trying to do like a one nighter somewhere and you re like, hey, I m going to Chicago.
4
SPEAKER_00
And, you know, of those 20,000 people listening, you might have like a thousand in Chicago and you might be able to get 400 of them to come out.
4
SPEAKER_00
That is actually a big deal at that at that point, because you re selling 400 tickets when people are like, how the hell did you get 400 people to come out tonight?
4
SPEAKER_02
You know, they re buying booze.
4
SPEAKER_02
It helps the club.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
That that was a huge game changer then.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then when the special came out and people go, hey, I like this guy or, you know, I like your special.
4
SPEAKER_00
What else do you have?
4
SPEAKER_00
And, you know, they discovered the podcast.
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, some of them like it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Some of them don t.
4
SPEAKER_00
But you re definitely bringing in a new audience of people.
4
SPEAKER_00
So those have every special and every year of the podcast, they ve continued to grow and they feed each other.
4
SPEAKER_00
They feed each other.
4
SPEAKER_00
And
4
SPEAKER_00
And now there s just tremendous amounts of money.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, we re rich too.
4
SPEAKER_01
I know.
4
SPEAKER_01
No, I mean, I grew up incredibly middle-class, barely.
4
SPEAKER_01
David, his nickname is Silver Spoon.
4
SPEAKER_01
It was always easy.
4
SPEAKER_02
My parents were both strippers.
4
SPEAKER_02
I made money.
4
SPEAKER_02
I got paid in ones.
4
SPEAKER_02
I slept on a bed covered in ones every night.
4
SPEAKER_02
My mom would throw them out at me and my dad.
4
SPEAKER_02
Tom, you, we ll get to this other stuff too.
4
SPEAKER_02
I have a lot of personal questions I have to ask you off camera.
4
SPEAKER_00
You had a good year Spade, don t lie.
4
SPEAKER_02
No, I m fine.
4
SPEAKER_02
Well, I did my, I did an HBO special years ago and that really didn t affect standup because I wasn t doing it much.
4
SPEAKER_02
I was on just shoot me and stuff.
4
SPEAKER_02
But I wasn t out that much, so I d do the improv in Irvine or San Diego or something, which is great.
4
SPEAKER_02
But I wasn t really making a lot of money in stand-up, and so I didn t really capitalize off it other than it made me more known in some way.
4
SPEAKER_01
I noticed with Tom on the disgraceful one, where the audience gave you a standing ovation, that was the 2018.
4
SPEAKER_01
That seemed to be another giant leap.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that propelled the next tour to each tour has gone like another level.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, the current tour was it was a is it was a huge leap from the twenty nineteen tour.
4
SPEAKER_00
I looked at it.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s kind of unfathomable.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m coming everywhere.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
All over the world.
4
SPEAKER_01
But, you know, I think going for my own head, the theme idea, you know, you are the message, you know, your likability and relatability and you can
4
SPEAKER_01
it s you can see where the audience go that that s our guy you know because you re going into territory where you re working completely clean and then you ll also just surprise everybody and go wherever you want to go and then you ll you ll make it okay it s it s i i get your popularity i ve spent a day watching all your stuff so oh thanks i understand i understand it you are politically incorrect which i think and and and some of your stuff which
4
SPEAKER_02
is a blessing.
4
SPEAKER_02
But you don t lean on it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think, I don t know, there s this thing, I m sure it s not anything new, but I just always tried to, I remember people saying early on, they re like, just
4
SPEAKER_00
The thing you have to do is say things that make you laugh.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like, don t go, I wonder if people will like this.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I ll say it, like, I try to stick to like, genuinely, this point of view makes me laugh.
4
SPEAKER_00
This story makes me laugh.
4
SPEAKER_00
If I think something is, I m talking about like a societal norm is worthy of mockery, then like, oh, I go for it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I go, I m gonna, I think, I feel like mocking this.
4
SPEAKER_00
So then I just do that.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I m not doing it because I hope
4
SPEAKER_00
this audience likes it and this one won t.
4
SPEAKER_00
I just, I try to stay honest to what makes me laugh.
4
SPEAKER_01
And also when you walk out there and your whole physical demeanor and you re, you re so relaxed.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, even next level and so comfortable, it s a living room.
4
SPEAKER_01
So if something doesn t land, you kind of smile like drowning the dog.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, it s not about, you d have to, for people who are listening right now, it s a long story about loving his kid more than an animal.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then the way you, you just went places people don t expect.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so that s the antithesis of boredom.
4
SPEAKER_01
You don t know what Tom Segura is going to do.
4
SPEAKER_02
And you can t see it coming.
4
SPEAKER_02
You don t want an act where you can see it coming and you go, and then he s going to say this and then that, but that is a hard thing to do.
4
SPEAKER_02
But it doesn t, like Dana was saying, you re out of the box a bit.
4
SPEAKER_02
So
4
SPEAKER_02
you re sort of underground, but famous.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then, uh, and you make a ton of money more than most people that people are know of that are, you know, household names and you ve done it on your own and your own terms.
4
SPEAKER_02
And also, I don t think you are as worried about getting canceled because what are they canceling you from?
4
SPEAKER_02
You re your own boss, your own podcast.
4
SPEAKER_00
What am I gonna get not hired to do?
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, you re your own show.
4
SPEAKER_02
You have 54 podcasts.
4
SPEAKER_02
You have Dana, you know, his tour is called I m Coming Everywhere.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s funny, funny his name.
4
SPEAKER_02
I heard you talking about that.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I heard you talking about taking a private jet, which is hard to talk about, of course, but it is fun to talk about because
4
SPEAKER_02
you re right that in some of those instances, there s almost no way to get to where you got to go.
4
SPEAKER_00
What I actually explained on a couple of podcasts was the fact that if you re touring as insanely as I m talking about logistically, I go,
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t have to charter a plane, but I go, I, what I would have to do is reduce this tour.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like there s, there s, there would be no way to go.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m doing Ottawa and then Spokane and then Eugene and then Boise.
4
SPEAKER_00
I go, well, you just can t do that if you re flying commercially.
4
SPEAKER_00
So we would just change the tour.
4
SPEAKER_02
Sure i mean it s what you want to do and if you can factored in your make enough it s fine it s really just all numbers game and if you are my tour i don t do it as i hit the pavement as hard as you but when i do it i have three nights in a row usually.
4
SPEAKER_02
If there s a connection involved, it s already a red flag because with no one coming to work lately, COVID, canceled flights, you re like, and I don t like going the day before every show because that s such a production.
4
SPEAKER_02
Then you re there all night, then all day again.
4
SPEAKER_02
So decisions have to be made, but it s obviously private jets perk people s ears because it s one of those things that
4
SPEAKER_02
even if you re rich, it s out of your league.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s such- It s such an excess.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s such an indulgence.
4
SPEAKER_00
It is time travel.
4
SPEAKER_00
The thing that s crazy about it is you go, I can t believe the show ended and now we re in the next city and it s only been two hours.
4
SPEAKER_00
It feels like you teleported.
4
SPEAKER_00
The thing about it is you go, you don t have to do it.
4
SPEAKER_00
It does make a tour like this possible.
4
SPEAKER_00
I will say this, we don t do it every leg of this tour, every flight or anything.
4
SPEAKER_00
The times on this tour that we ve done commercial travel, 90 percent of them have come with an issue, meaning delays, cancellations.
4
SPEAKER_00
Every time we do it, we re like, oh my God,
4
SPEAKER_00
Like, we re so much more appreciative of when we have been able to charter because it has screwed up almost every leg of travel that we ve done with it, you know?
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
You got to come in early then because you can t trust a commercial.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so you have a job to do.
4
SPEAKER_01
I heard that early on when Louis C.K.
4
SPEAKER_01
first did a Citation X, like, OK, I got to do this.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so we do three dates.
4
SPEAKER_01
So the first date would just pay for the jet.
4
SPEAKER_01
and then do the next two dates.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s how different it is.
4
SPEAKER_01
And in terms of your health and wellness, when you re touring like you are, like more than 200 dates a year, the multiple flights in the hotel, you could beat the shit out of yourself.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, it s not... It does.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, we do that travel, which obviously, like, makes it nicer.
4
SPEAKER_00
I bring a trainer with me, dude.
4
SPEAKER_00
I bring a trainer with me because it s trying to just keep your mental and physical health going.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s fucking so demanding.
4
SPEAKER_01
It just shouldn t be allowable if you have the means to have a trainer and
5
SPEAKER_01
eat well and actually do the tour and end up not hurting your health.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know, it s people kind of ignore that.
5
SPEAKER_01
But why am I doing this if I m going to end up coming back home and have gained all this weight and have migraines or whatever?
5
SPEAKER_01
So I m glad to hear that you re pacing it that way.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I ve done that, you know, like in my earlier years, my touring, which was not at this level, was me gaining 30 pounds in a year and feeling like shit all the time.
5
SPEAKER_02
because you re eating at every airport and eating and you know and if you can control that plus you know the bottom line is for me i m sure you guys too you owe the audience a good show and you need to be present it s harder than it seems to sit there and do your hour or over an hour whatever and go it s like a play you have to remember all the connective tissue and all everything and it has to flow
5
SPEAKER_02
And if you re out of it a little bit, sometimes you re missing beats and just off rhythm and they pay the price.
5
SPEAKER_02
So they re paying a lot.
5
SPEAKER_02
They re coming out.
5
SPEAKER_02
They re getting babysitters.
5
SPEAKER_02
You re like, shit, I got to get there on time.
5
SPEAKER_02
I got to be ready.
5
SPEAKER_02
I got to look OK.
5
SPEAKER_02
And I think everyone feels that.
5
SPEAKER_02
So whatever it takes.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, you got to try.
5
SPEAKER_00
You got to try, man.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I always like, you know, I don t know if you ever do this, but like you re backstage and maybe you re, you know, you re worn out.
5
SPEAKER_00
You re just dragging.
5
SPEAKER_00
You re like, man, it s the fucking seventh show this week.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, fourth city.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m like, God damn it.
5
SPEAKER_00
And, and I ll be on my phone and I ll pull up and this is like, I guess the, the upside to seeing a social media thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
I ll see things I m tagged in and you see people in the audience.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then I see that and I m like, oh man, they re like so pumped to be here.
5
SPEAKER_00
And it completely changes my mental state before I go.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m like, you know what?
5
SPEAKER_00
These people are excited.
5
SPEAKER_00
I need to wake up and appreciate the fact that there s people here and try to have a good show.
5
SPEAKER_00
But it s easy to fall into the other side.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I call it the forget to have fun problem.
5
SPEAKER_01
And if you forget to have fun and you re out there and you re not
5
SPEAKER_01
If it s not cool, it s not feeling right.
5
SPEAKER_01
And you go, Oh, I forgot to have fun.
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you have a trick?
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you have a, like, I, I used to like, I always say that, um, the best version of myself as a comedian, and this is a very simple way of describing it, but I think it s that when I walk on stage in a silly mood, like me feeling silly is the best version of standup that I can be.
5
SPEAKER_00
But what I forget sometimes is to remind myself of that.
5
SPEAKER_00
And sometimes I ll see an image.
5
SPEAKER_00
And for me, in my own memories, it s for some reason, it s seeing Eddie Murphy in his early days, like in Delirious and stuff.
5
SPEAKER_00
Because I feel like that s a fun, silly guy.
5
SPEAKER_00
So if I see that image, I ll be like, oh, that guy s having fun.
5
SPEAKER_00
He s having a good time.
5
SPEAKER_00
He s playful.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I always wonder like what other people do to switch into a different headspace.
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you ever do anything to like switch your headspace?
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, the minute I come out, I probably make a fool of myself, but I put on Suspicious Minds, normally, by Elvis Presley.
5
SPEAKER_01
It seems so absurd and doesn t make any sense, and I m coming out to that.
5
SPEAKER_01
I try to get into the absurdity of what I m doing up there, but the first laugh kind of gets me going.
5
SPEAKER_01
In the olden days, when you re first doing standard,
5
SPEAKER_01
God, I don t feel funny today.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t feel very funny.
5
SPEAKER_01
You re very superstitious.
5
SPEAKER_01
And later on, you go, you can be sick, you don t feel funny at all, you re just, and then have your best show.
5
SPEAKER_01
So you get used to it, but yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
Dane and I have a few questions about your podcast.
5
SPEAKER_02
You have your mom s house, correct?
5
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_02
You have, that s with your lovely wife.
5
SPEAKER_01
With your lovely wife.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yes, Christina P. Anne, who I know, and she s great.
5
SPEAKER_02
She was on Lights Out.
5
SPEAKER_02
Also, you have one with that guy.
5
SPEAKER_02
Who s that big guy?
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, big, oh, real heavy guy.
5
SPEAKER_01
Flirt, flirt, hurt, fly, flirt.
5
SPEAKER_02
Flirt was fun.
5
SPEAKER_02
And you met him years ago and just, I mean, was that, you already had your first podcast.
5
SPEAKER_02
Was that going into doing a second one?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know, the funny thing was we talked about it and we threw it together and I thought we were, we, we, we came up with the idea to do it twice a month.
5
SPEAKER_00
This was like, I was like, why don t we do this twice a month just for fun.
5
SPEAKER_00
Sure.
5
SPEAKER_00
And, um,
5
SPEAKER_00
And, you know, within a couple of months, the feedback was like, people were so into it that we were like, all right, we got to do it every week.
5
SPEAKER_00
And now we do it every week.
5
SPEAKER_00
He has to fly here.
5
SPEAKER_00
I ve flown to LA to do it.
5
SPEAKER_00
We, if we don t, if we can t get together, we, each one of us will sit with a guest to do it, but it s become a huge, huge podcast and like,
5
SPEAKER_00
You know, companies approach us and want us to be like their partners and things.
5
SPEAKER_00
And it s just, it s literally just the two of us just shooting the shit.
5
SPEAKER_00
Mostly him just rambling incoherently about his nonsense.
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, it s a good team.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, when he had Sober October, we were, I saw that episode and, you know, it was just, it, it, it, it, I think long-term if things are funny, it s great.
5
SPEAKER_01
Then also you re kind of feeling a real thing happening between two friends, like, and he s- We re good, good friends.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I got him, you know, we ve been getting each other crazy birthday gifts for years now.
5
SPEAKER_00
I just got him a Hitler s teacup and I got him a bust made of himself.
5
SPEAKER_00
And, and like, you know, we always,
5
SPEAKER_00
I saw one of those in SkyMall.
5
SPEAKER_02
They have a lot of Hitler stuff.
5
SPEAKER_01
This one I had to go through a white supremacist.
5
SPEAKER_01
It was a lot of work.
5
SPEAKER_01
Can I ask you about the video aspect?
5
SPEAKER_01
So did you always do it on video on YouTube or did you ever do just an audio podcast?
5
SPEAKER_00
Audio only for the first, let s see, 2010, 11, 12.
5
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
5
13.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then we
5
SPEAKER_00
started to do video just like we would put up like 10 or 15 minutes.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what that was.
5
SPEAKER_00
We did that in 2014.
5
SPEAKER_00
We were like, oh, here s 15 minutes of this from the show.
5
SPEAKER_00
Then we finally were like, we set up sticks and we got
5
SPEAKER_00
that going and that eventually became a huge game changer having it on i mean you know having on youtube is like a huge huge huge did you get the same amount of audio listens and then you got the additional or was it even more audio listens.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s evolved in different ways.
5
SPEAKER_00
So like audio was obviously the only thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then you throw in video, you start getting views, but the audio is much bigger.
5
SPEAKER_00
And it was also still from an advertising perspective, they re like audio downloads are all that matters.
5
SPEAKER_00
When the video views started to go above a certain amount is when people were like, okay, we can t like, we can t ignore the fact that there are
5
SPEAKER_00
hundreds of thousands of views on this thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s like a TV show.
5
SPEAKER_00
They re like, it s worth advertising on is what it came down to.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then, you know, you had to convince some of the people were like, well, that s just the same people.
5
SPEAKER_00
And you re like, what are you talking?
5
SPEAKER_00
You think people are listening to episode and then going and watching a two hour thing?
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, what are you talking about?
5
SPEAKER_00
And that, you know, they also would make the argument, well, we don t know how many, like, you know, if you, if you listen to a song on YouTube, if you watch the video of a song, you might watch it six times or like, what if people are doing that on your podcast?
5
SPEAKER_00
And you re like, you think they re rewatching this two and a half hour podcast?
5
SPEAKER_00
So I had, I would get in the shouting matches with advertising people about this, like actual shouting matches.
5
SPEAKER_00
And you do it, you.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was fucking yelling at these people.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then the year fucking changes and they go, oh, hey, by the way, we wanted to inquire about advertising on the video portion.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m like, yeah, you mean the thing I ve been talking to you about for two years?
5
SPEAKER_00
And so that then became a thing that is highly valuable.
5
SPEAKER_00
And obviously, you watch the bigger thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
You see a Rogan show when he was on
5
SPEAKER_00
on YouTube, you re like, look, man, there s 10 million people watching this.
5
SPEAKER_00
You don t think that s worthy?
5
SPEAKER_00
Like those, that s all those eyeballs, man.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I think now if you start a podcast, you know.
5
SPEAKER_00
And the clips go out.
5
SPEAKER_00
Clips is a big thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
Clips is a huge thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
A lot of times, you know, if you, if you think about it, your fan base is going to consume the whole thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
Talking about the full scope of people, most of them want to see a bite-sized thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
In our world here, we ve had a number of clips go viral, but they re the clips, these moments that blow up.
5
SPEAKER_00
But it would not have happened without video.
5
SPEAKER_00
Video is what took it over.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
Then you go into your
5
SPEAKER_02
ones I contacted you about when I heard that you were doing live shows, such an interesting idea.
5
SPEAKER_02
And it was a huge success.
5
SPEAKER_02
And that was a pandemic was smart move.
5
SPEAKER_02
And that was another game changer, right?
5
SPEAKER_02
Kind of saved my ass, dude.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, I mean, you know, my main thing, I mean, obviously the podcast is a fixed thing and you go, okay, we have ads and roughly we ll make this much.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and everything associated with it, but you re like, you know, I m a touring comedian.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then when, when the pandemic hit and you re like, oh, wait, there s, there s none of this, like this is completely done.
5
SPEAKER_00
That was
6
SPEAKER_00
And it was an experiment.
6
SPEAKER_00
My touring agent was like, you should try this.
6
SPEAKER_00
I go, well, we have to figure out an angle.
6
SPEAKER_00
So we tried it and we re like, all right, we ll do $10 tickets.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s a reasonable price.
6
SPEAKER_00
and we ll show things that you can t show on YouTube and we ll shoot some sketches.
6
SPEAKER_00
So we add some value to the show.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s the hard part, the value.
6
SPEAKER_00
But then you go for $10, if you do three or four sketches and you show some stuff you can t see anywhere else and you bring in a guest and we had a musical guest, you re like, all right, this is like, it is a thing.
6
SPEAKER_00
If this was a $10 ticket to walk into a venue, you d be like, yeah, that s worth it.
6
SPEAKER_00
And that thing went fucking
6
SPEAKER_00
bananas.
6
SPEAKER_00
And so once we saw that, I told the, cause you know, agents are always like, let s make it $20.
6
SPEAKER_00
I was like, no, well, I go, we keep it $10 tickets and we just try to move to, just try to do volume.
6
SPEAKER_00
And we started to do them like every six or eight weeks or something.
6
SPEAKER_00
and spending over 100 grand producing the episode.
6
SPEAKER_00
So it s not just like, oh, hey, here s my friend.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, we actually put money into making it a special event and into production.
6
SPEAKER_02
Just for a second, Tom, because I m curious about details.
6
SPEAKER_02
You have two studios.
6
SPEAKER_02
Where were you interviewing Tarantino?
6
SPEAKER_02
Because I love that interview, which was just recently on Quentin Tarantino.
6
SPEAKER_02
Is that your studio right there?
6
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
6
SPEAKER_00
Did you get to the part where he roasted me for not reading his book?
6
SPEAKER_02
No.
6
SPEAKER_00
I didn t like that.
6
SPEAKER_02
I was impressed with your knowledge of pulp fiction.
6
SPEAKER_00
I mean, there was a lot of pulp fiction.
6
SPEAKER_00
I really was like,
6
SPEAKER_00
I was asking all the questions I want to ask Quentin Tarantino.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
And he s there going like, I want to talk about this fucking book.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then at the end, he s like, Hey, uh, what page are you on?
6
SPEAKER_00
I was like, Oh no.
6
SPEAKER_02
And he s kind of, he s kind of intimidating.
6
SPEAKER_02
Oh yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, he goes, so you re on page three.
6
SPEAKER_00
Is that what I m getting out of this?
6
SPEAKER_00
I was like, uh, if that,
6
SPEAKER_01
Dana, remember we did, because we re talking about SNL this whole time, we did Quentin Tarantino s Welcome Back, Cotter, that sketch, and it was, I got to play Horseshack.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, oh, Mr. Cotter.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then it was, I guess John Travolta was the host.
6
SPEAKER_01
So he came in, yeah, he came in and they shot up everyone.
6
SPEAKER_01
It was like a bloody sketch that got really bad really quick.
6
SPEAKER_01
But I don t think Quentin was on the show.
6
SPEAKER_01
I think it was only because it was John Travolta was on the show.
6
SPEAKER_02
He was hanging out, he said, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
6
SPEAKER_00
He really has that like savant level knowledge of cinema to the point where you re like,
6
SPEAKER_00
I mean, like he is citing, you know, the composer from this movie in 63 and the actor who also appeared in the thing.
6
SPEAKER_00
You re like, dude, I don t know.
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what the fuck you re talking about, but I like movies, too.
6
SPEAKER_02
I love movies, but.
6
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, he is the next level of next level.
6
SPEAKER_02
And the way you guys broke down that scene in Inglorious Bastards, the whole American speaking German, that whole segment and how he said he... A lot of times you ll see his scenes and there s a familiarity to them, but he s doing things and he s making them better than you ve ever seen them done.
6
SPEAKER_02
And that was the case of it.
6
SPEAKER_02
And an original take on something we ve seen.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
6
SPEAKER_00
I love his movies.
6
SPEAKER_00
I love his movies.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, me too.
6
SPEAKER_02
I was hosting Jimmy Kimmel and he came out and I couldn t help but I go, I love you.
6
SPEAKER_02
I was just like, I said, because I know you through your choices in your movies and I just appreciate your sense of humor, you know?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so funny.
6
SPEAKER_02
May I have another glass of your delicious milk?
6
SPEAKER_02
Christoph Waltz and Glorious Bastards.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so good.
6
SPEAKER_01
Listen, Tom s a Cincinnati native.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m wrapping him up.
6
SPEAKER_01
Watch this, Dana.
6
SPEAKER_01
Let me see.
6
SPEAKER_01
My parents grew up, went to Denison, which is a college near Cincinnati.
6
SPEAKER_01
Or did you not know that?
6
SPEAKER_01
Don t Tarantino me.
6
SPEAKER_01
Denison is where they both went.
6
SPEAKER_01
You re not lighting up enough about that.
6
SPEAKER_01
You are part Cajun, Cajolman is from Cajun.
6
SPEAKER_01
You overdosed on GHB at 19.
6
SPEAKER_01
I like found a short coma.
6
SPEAKER_01
Short coma.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
A coma is terrifying.
6
SPEAKER_00
It was 25 years ago last week.
6
SPEAKER_00
It was the day after Thanksgiving, 25 years ago.
6
SPEAKER_00
You know, it was the first time I was a freshman in college.
6
SPEAKER_00
I got together with all the people who are like back, you know, you re back home for the first time.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
I just was on a tear that night and I was drinking and that I used to do GHB a lot.
6
SPEAKER_00
And the, the number one rule, they were like, you do not mix this with alcohol.
6
SPEAKER_00
That was the number one rule they re like, you know, and I, I drank like 10, 12.
6
SPEAKER_00
you know, screwdrivers.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then I just took a massive dose of it.
6
SPEAKER_01
But you lived, you also were last comic standing.
6
SPEAKER_01
And my quick question is, is that the kind where you lived in the house?
6
SPEAKER_00
I never made it.
6
SPEAKER_00
I showcased on TV on the show, but they just showed me for like a second.
6
SPEAKER_00
I didn t get passed on.
6
SPEAKER_00
Even though I would not really, I ll just say that that was some bullshit.
6
SPEAKER_00
They were just casting that show.
6
SPEAKER_01
Who won and then who did you say when they won?
6
SPEAKER_01
They suck, they re dog shit.
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t remember anybody I showcased with.
6
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it was all like, we were all unknowns.
6
SPEAKER_00
They literally were like, oh, put the short chubby girl, get that tall Indian guy.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like, it was like, it was just casting.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
Someone sent me an Instagram of you doing your bit where you end up yelling bikes.
6
SPEAKER_02
Because they knew I was going to interview you.
6
SPEAKER_02
And I was hysterical.
6
SPEAKER_00
That whole piece is like just... That is funny to me that, I mean, everybody has like their most known bit.
6
SPEAKER_00
And for sure, for me, it is bikes.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
Scared straight.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
Little kids going to prison and getting browbeat by
6
SPEAKER_00
Every day, every day of my life, they yell, scared straight.
6
SPEAKER_02
Do you actually do stand up in Spanish?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yes, I was supposed to do a special in Spanish.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then I started touring in Spanish work.
6
SPEAKER_00
I go, because they re like, do a special.
6
SPEAKER_00
I was like, well, I got it.
6
SPEAKER_00
like work it out, man.
6
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
6
SPEAKER_00
Hard, hard, hard.
6
SPEAKER_00
If we re doing it in English and I do the show 200 times, I got to at least do 50, you know, in Spanish.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I probably did six weekends in Spanish.
6
SPEAKER_00
I did, you know, a Texas weekend.
6
SPEAKER_00
I did like Houston, Dallas, San Antonio.
6
SPEAKER_00
I did Tempe.
6
SPEAKER_00
I did San Jose.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then
6
SPEAKER_00
the pandemic kind of just changed everything because that was when I was like gearing up for it.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then by the time that resolved itself, it was like the English tour was coming back and it was just, it was too much to try to do both.
6
SPEAKER_02
Well, let me ask you a question.
6
SPEAKER_02
If the English language has certain rhythms that comedians use, you know, so she blew me or whatever.
6
SPEAKER_02
Do you have to adjust when you re doing the, the, the rhythms of Spanish?
6
SPEAKER_00
I actually remember I went, I did this show with Richard Villa.
6
SPEAKER_00
This is a very funny comedian who s a bilingual Mexican-American.
6
SPEAKER_00
And he was like, dude, he s like, you realize you re doing exactly Tom Segura that we know in English.
6
SPEAKER_00
He s like, you don t have to change anything.
6
SPEAKER_00
You re doing, you re delivering exactly as you do in Spanish.
6
SPEAKER_00
And he was like, so you don t have to like mess with anything.
6
SPEAKER_02
He said, she, she s a hot chick.
6
SPEAKER_02
She s a caliente or you re.
6
SPEAKER_02
He, he, he.
6
SPEAKER_02
But caliente is hot, right?
6
SPEAKER_02
Oh, you re talking about if I m saying it.
6
SPEAKER_02
Saying it in Spanish.
6
SPEAKER_02
The syllables are more, and does that affect the rhythm?
6
SPEAKER_00
But I m saying the delivery, you can keep your delivery authentic.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Got it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Because you hear singers.
6
SPEAKER_00
Culturally, you learn, which is like, some, they like innuendo, and they really like a wink and a nod.
6
SPEAKER_00
Some cultures do, which I was like, I don t want to do that, and they re like,
6
SPEAKER_00
watch and you just see how they, how much they love the double meaning, the double and that stuff.
6
SPEAKER_00
But I just didn t make it part of my act.
6
SPEAKER_00
I saw that like some, some audiences really liked that, but I was like, I m not going to, I m not going to embrace doing a different style.
6
SPEAKER_02
So your brain, cause I m not bilingual.
6
SPEAKER_02
You have your brain and you have your bit in your head and you just adjust it.
6
SPEAKER_02
And then you re just doing it all in Spanish.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
You start figuring out at first, your brain goes translate this exactly.
6
SPEAKER_00
And that actually leads you into a place where you have gaps and there s things not getting less.
6
SPEAKER_00
Then what you have to do is start, you have to slow down and just start talking and stop trying to translate exactly.
6
SPEAKER_00
And that s when it starts to work more.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then you actually start writing in Spanish.
6
SPEAKER_00
And that s when it goes the best is because you re not actually trying to make this thing work over here that worked over there.
6
SPEAKER_00
You re just creating for that.
6
SPEAKER_02
So that makes sense to me.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s a beautiful language.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m constantly trying to speak Spanish to people who work for me.
6
SPEAKER_00
It was a lot of, it was so much more work than I imagined.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I would
7
SPEAKER_00
say that the kind of cool thing is that I had not been that nervous to do stand-up in over a decade.
7
SPEAKER_00
In other words, in English, sure, I get butterflies.
7
SPEAKER_00
You re about to go on stage and you might have some nerve.
7
SPEAKER_00
But the way that I would feel before I went on stage for these Spanish shows was like year two of stand-up.
7
SPEAKER_00
So that was exciting because I was in a full panic of
7
SPEAKER_00
I might fuck this, I might bomb, I might not.
7
SPEAKER_00
That was kind of exciting.
7
SPEAKER_00
I was like, man, I never feel like this in English anymore.
7
SPEAKER_02
Did the audience, the audience knows you re doing that.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s so-called your second language, your other language.
7
SPEAKER_02
Were they just, did you get a standing ovation just for the sheer effort of it?
7
SPEAKER_02
Sometimes, yes.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, they would be, and you d see a lot of like fans of mine who are bilingual, like they re the children of immigrants.
7
SPEAKER_00
And so they re fans of me in English.
7
SPEAKER_00
They hear I m doing the Spanish show and they re bringing their parents.
7
SPEAKER_00
Ah, because they understand.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
That would be happening too.
7
SPEAKER_00
That was kind of cool.
7
SPEAKER_00
That was kind of cool.
7
SPEAKER_02
That s awesome.
7
SPEAKER_00
Well, Tom, thank you.
7
SPEAKER_02
Well, that s all I wanted.
7
SPEAKER_02
I checked off all my questions.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
Let me just say, Dana, it was an honor.
7
SPEAKER_02
Uh, uh, yes, Tom, thank you so much.
7
SPEAKER_03
I don t know who that other guy was, but, uh, he seems, Oh, Hey, I was on Tom s podcast and we had a great time.
7
SPEAKER_03
We did have a great time.
7
SPEAKER_03
It was a blast actually.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I just want to say our, our guest today was a Tom Segura, a funny young man that can actually do a standup in, uh, in Spanish or English.
7
SPEAKER_01
Did you know that Ed meet me?
7
SPEAKER_01
Bueno.
7
SPEAKER_01
Is that it?
7
SPEAKER_01
Is that weird?
7
SPEAKER_01
That s weird.
7
SPEAKER_01
Wild stuff.
7
SPEAKER_01
I was just doing that for you, your 14 year old self, your 14 year old.
7
SPEAKER_02
That was awesome, man.
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh, good.
7
SPEAKER_00
Uh, well you guys, uh, anytime you want to charter out here, um, and, and, uh, podcast, we would love to have you, you know,
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I ll definitely come out.
7
SPEAKER_03
You bought a steak one night in Austin.
7
SPEAKER_00
That was good.
7
SPEAKER_00
Took care of it.
7
SPEAKER_02
I want to be in that.
7
SPEAKER_02
I want to sit where Tarantino sat.
7
SPEAKER_00
Listen, you have an open invite.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that was... I did get chills when he kind of challenged you on the book.
7
SPEAKER_02
That would be intimidating.
7
SPEAKER_02
He s got so much energy and so much knowledge.
7
SPEAKER_02
He s such a funny, interesting character to listen to about film, man.
7
SPEAKER_02
But that shows you.
7
SPEAKER_02
I had him on Kimmel and you have three minutes.
7
SPEAKER_02
commercial break, I was the guest host, and then you sit there for an hour and really get into stuff.
7
SPEAKER_02
So podcasting is an extraordinary, for me, new development in the way of being authentic.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s so much cooler and more fun than the band and the audience, which is great too.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s a big rock and roll moment, but it s like three minutes in, you got to get to a commercial and stuff.
7
SPEAKER_02
This is awesome.
7
SPEAKER_03
Come out to Austin, man.
7
SPEAKER_02
I will.
7
SPEAKER_02
There s an unstopped direct if I don t fly private.
7
SPEAKER_03
Go Dana, stop being like this.
7
SPEAKER_02
I will go out and do it if we can have a dinner afterwards, because I kind of want to pick your brain about what you know, because I still am trying to learn this whole world analytics and stuff.
7
SPEAKER_03
I feel like we just set a date.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, we sort of did.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I can eat anything, so you re fit now.
7
SPEAKER_02
We get your trainer, your chef maybe cooks and we just eat on the set.
7
SPEAKER_02
We can t go to that meat store we went to.
7
SPEAKER_02
2018 is when you came out for that special and you d lost weight and you had a cool jacket.
7
SPEAKER_02
You kind of were a rock star.
7
SPEAKER_02
It switched there a little bit.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and then the special two years later, I gained 20 pounds back.
7
SPEAKER_00
Did you really?
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SPEAKER_00
I didn t know it was on the final one.
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On Ball Hog, I definitely gained about 20 pounds.
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Three weeks ago, I shot a new special.
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God damn, relax.
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I was just so thankful that I weighed less than I ve ever weighed in a special.
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You don t have any jokes.
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You re like in a mirror, just like, check this out, guy.
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But I think it s kind of nice if you can have a nice family and make a lot of money and be creatively fulfilled.
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And then also be really healthy and feel comfortable walking around on the planet.
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It s kind of a nice feeling.
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So, David, just a little pointer.
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I feel good and light.
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Bye, Tom.
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I miss you.
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Thanks for all the time, Tom.
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Bye, guys.
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This has been a podcast presentation of Cadence 13.
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Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes.
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Available now for free wherever you get your podcasts.
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No joke, folks.
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Fly on the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13, executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corcoran of Cadence 13, and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment.
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The show s lead producer is Greg Holtzman with production and engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Basil of Cadence 13.