0
SPEAKER_00
Hello.
0
SPEAKER_01
Hi.
0
SPEAKER_00
Hey, what s up?
0
SPEAKER_01
Not much.
0
SPEAKER_01
Who is this?
0
SPEAKER_00
My name is Stephanie.
0
SPEAKER_01
Stephanie.
0
SPEAKER_01
What s up, Stephanie?
0
SPEAKER_01
How you doing tonight?
0
SPEAKER_01
What do you want to talk about?
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, shit.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, there s a couple of things.
0
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, what s more entertaining to talk about, to be honest, because I don t want to
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, okay.
0
SPEAKER_01
You know what?
0
SPEAKER_01
I want to nip this in the bud really quickly.
0
SPEAKER_01
And normally, I ll say this too.
0
SPEAKER_01
Normally, when I m talking to callers, I am in a mindset of like, let s try our best.
0
SPEAKER_01
Let s steer the conversation in a way that s entertaining to the people who are spending their time listening to this.
0
SPEAKER_01
But something about in this moment right now, I m like, fuck it.
0
SPEAKER_01
Let s just you.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s you and me, Stephanie.
0
SPEAKER_01
Let s talk about whatever the fuck you want to talk about.
0
SPEAKER_01
You know, I don t care about if we could talk about your fucking grass.
0
SPEAKER_01
We re fine.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s really nice of you.
0
SPEAKER_01
So what do you want?
0
SPEAKER_00
Well, I mean, so I broke my leg on the 19th of December and that s been
0
SPEAKER_00
not fun.
0
SPEAKER_00
Uh, so there s that.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_01
What s the other one?
0
SPEAKER_01
I feel like I just totally broke everything I just said to you just now.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, what s the other one?
0
SPEAKER_00
Uh, the other one s kind of like a, a workplace issue that I wanted to get outside perspectives on because I m having, um, I don t even know what you would call it.
0
SPEAKER_00
There s,
0
SPEAKER_00
It s a really long story, but there s a guy that I work with who recently came back to work, I guess.
0
SPEAKER_00
And this doesn t affect me right now because I m not going to be able to go back to work with a broken leg for at least a couple more months.
0
SPEAKER_00
But I did see him at work once, and I know that I will again.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I just don t really know how I should
0
SPEAKER_00
approach this situation because it s really fucking awkward.
0
SPEAKER_01
All right.
0
SPEAKER_01
So you were, you were seeing this guy at work and then he stopped working at your work and now he s coming back.
0
SPEAKER_00
Well, we both work.
0
SPEAKER_00
So I work for an airline.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m a flight attendant and we both worked for like the regional airline and, um, I transferred to mainline.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I thought I was rid of him.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like I would never have to see him again.
0
SPEAKER_00
And then I guess he got an offer to come over and I saw him once and I, I know I m probably going to run into him again.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I, it was so uncomfortable.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I, were you, were you guys like hooking up?
0
SPEAKER_01
Is that what, or do you date or what was that?
0
SPEAKER_00
So we were dating for three months, so it wasn t a long time, but
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, it s so bad.
0
SPEAKER_00
We were together for three months and he was calling me his girlfriend.
0
SPEAKER_00
He started calling me his girlfriend.
0
SPEAKER_00
He said, I love you really fast and I chalked it up to maybe cultural differences but
0
SPEAKER_00
you know, he, he said it like very quickly, which was kind of like weird, but I don t know.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, and he, uh, hold on cultural.
0
SPEAKER_01
Where s this guy from?
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, ethnically he s Armenian, but he grew up in Iraq.
0
SPEAKER_00
So he s like, like all of his friends are like Persian.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, okay.
0
SPEAKER_01
I thought you were gonna say he s like from Texas.
0
SPEAKER_00
No, no.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, I m, I m from Canada actually.
0
SPEAKER_00
So we, we both work for a Canadian airline.
0
SPEAKER_00
Mm.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, okay.
0
SPEAKER_01
So he was calling you his girlfriend.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, he, he was very like, um, he would always say like, Oh, I want you to feel comfortable at my apartment.
0
SPEAKER_00
I want you to feel like this is your like second home.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like every time I would like leave his apartment, I would like go and gather my items.
0
SPEAKER_00
And he would be like, Oh, just, just leave your, um,
0
SPEAKER_00
just tell me what shampoo you use or like leave your shampoo here and it ll just be here for you.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like he was very like, he s like, I want you to be comfortable, whatever.
0
SPEAKER_01
And, and, and, and at this point, are you, well, okay, first of all, how long had you guys been like, you know, buddy buddy for?
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, at that point it was probably like two months because I, I actually didn t sleep with him until like probably like three or four weeks into it.
0
SPEAKER_00
And then we were,
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so like in total it was like three, three and a half months and by the two month point he was like referring to me as his girlfriend, said I love you.
0
SPEAKER_01
And, and, okay, so this guy, he s, uh, he s getting your favorite, uh, shampoo.
0
SPEAKER_01
He s, uh, calling you his girlfriend.
0
SPEAKER_01
He s letting you use his toothbrush.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, what, how are you feeling about it?
0
SPEAKER_01
Are you like, oh, this is great.
0
SPEAKER_01
This is what I want.
0
SPEAKER_01
Or are you like, like, how are you feeling about it?
0
SPEAKER_00
Well, I mean, two months isn t very long, so I was feeling, I don t know, I was just looking how things were going.
0
SPEAKER_00
It was good.
0
SPEAKER_00
He was a nice guy, he was handsome, cultured, he had a good job, he s a pilot.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, he s a pilot?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Pilot and a flat attendant, that s, something about that feels naughty.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I mean, when you start training as a flight attendant, the first thing they tell you is never sleep with pilots.
0
SPEAKER_01
Wait, really?
0
SPEAKER_01
They tell you that?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s funny.
0
SPEAKER_01
Why do they tell you that?
0
SPEAKER_00
Because it s always bad news, as you will discover.
0
SPEAKER_01
So this is where the story gets, uh, it is kind of funny because like when people talk about like power dynamics, right?
0
SPEAKER_01
I feel like, um, guy driving the plane that I m in, I would take that as a legitimate power dynamic.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
I mean, he was the first officer though.
0
SPEAKER_00
He wasn t a captain.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m, I m mainly kidding, but, um, um, so basically, uh,
0
SPEAKER_00
Forgive me if I backtrack because the timeline of this just like, sometimes I remember certain things.
0
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, okay, what happened was that I was working with this girl and she s asking me what s going on in my life and I tell her, oh, I have a newish boyfriend.
0
SPEAKER_00
She says, show me a picture.
0
SPEAKER_00
So I show a picture of this guy, the pilot, and he, well, sorry, the girl that I m working with says,
0
SPEAKER_00
That s not your boyfriend.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s Amy s boyfriend.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yo.
0
SPEAKER_00
What do you what?
0
SPEAKER_00
What do you mean?
0
SPEAKER_00
She said, Amy, this other flight attendant that we work with and we know each other fairly well because this is back when we were at the regional airline, which is like way smaller than the one that I work out at now.
0
SPEAKER_00
And she s like, that s Amy s boyfriend.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, you re joking.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like, prove it.
0
SPEAKER_00
So she does.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I found out that, um,
0
SPEAKER_00
while so he told me that he was going up north with his uh guy friends and going for like for a little trip to a cottage up north or something and he asked me if i could go over to his apartment and like water his plants while he was gone yeah and while he was gone he he was actually up north with amy fucking her in the tent that was my tent and he brought up with him wait he borrowed your tent and then fucked this girl in it
0
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
0
SPEAKER_01
Goddamn, dude.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s I see.
0
SPEAKER_01
Like, what s the I don t know.
0
SPEAKER_01
I guess I m stressful.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, yeah, because so I was thinking, okay, he was dating me.
0
SPEAKER_00
And then Amy was the side check.
0
SPEAKER_00
But no, no, you were the side.
0
SPEAKER_00
He was dating.
0
SPEAKER_00
He was dating both of us full on.
0
SPEAKER_00
Neither of us were the side check.
0
SPEAKER_00
He had introduced
0
SPEAKER_00
both me and amy on different days of the week to his friends and his fucking brother as his girlfriend and they all kept a secret that s why i don t know how the fuck he thought that would eventually end yeah that s what i m saying so he actually like
0
SPEAKER_00
Like, a day after my coworker spilled the beans to me and told me, like, hey, that s fucking Amy s boyfriend, he sent me a text and said, it s not working out.
0
SPEAKER_00
He was like, you re an angel, but this just isn t working out.
1
SPEAKER_01
I think we should break up.
1
SPEAKER_01
Um, and I just looked at that text and I was like, okay, so you like chose her over me, which like, I don t like at this point, like I m not heartbroken.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like I m just angry.
1
SPEAKER_01
Um, but yeah, he thought it could all go away because he would like choose the other flight attendant over me, but I, he didn t know that I knew.
1
SPEAKER_01
So, um,
1
SPEAKER_01
It ended up getting really ugly because I did tell him that I knew and I also told the other girl about the whole situation and it wasn t good for him.
1
SPEAKER_00
So did the other girl break out with him too?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, 100%.
1
SPEAKER_01
But it was so bad because
1
SPEAKER_01
So I was kind of like iffy on this guy, like there was things I liked about him, but there was also like a lot of stuff I didn t like about him.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I probably would have just broken up with him like in a few months myself.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I wasn t really like heartbroken at all.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was just like really angry that I had been made a fool of.
1
SPEAKER_01
But this other girl that I work with, she thought that she was going to like have babies with him and get married.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, this girl, Amy?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Was she, when you talked to her, when you spilled the beans to her, what did she say?
1
SPEAKER_01
She was sobbing.
1
SPEAKER_01
It was extremely uncomfortable.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I felt guilty for having told her, but like, what else was I supposed to do?
1
SPEAKER_00
Right.
1
SPEAKER_00
Was part of you like wondering if you did the right thing even?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
But like, I should have told her, like, what else the fuck was I supposed to do?
1
SPEAKER_00
Right.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
God I there s just I think there s just something there s got to be something about like defying gravity By piloting an airplane with you know a hundred people in it to safety That just makes you feel like you can do anything No, he s a fucking idiot He s a moron I remember one time we were in a fucking Starbucks parking lot and he couldn t I
1
SPEAKER_01
figure out why his car was making a funny noise when he was backing up and I had to look him dead in the eyes and release the fucking emergency brake.
1
SPEAKER_00
Damn, and this guy flies planes.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yes, that s why there s two of them.
1
SPEAKER_00
See, I feel like I feel like a copilot copilots.
1
SPEAKER_00
They re definitely like the nice guys of the pilot.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
1
SPEAKER_00
I feel like if you re looking to really settle down, you go for a co-pilot, not a pilot.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, that s him.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s the first officer.
1
SPEAKER_01
The first officer is in the right seat.
1
SPEAKER_01
They re the co-pilot.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, he s not even a real pilot.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
1
SPEAKER_00
You don t say that they re not real pilots to their faces Maybe that s you know what that s probably what it fucking is right is he s like he s so close to being a real pilot and so he s just Compensating for every for like he s like I need to have as many girlfriends as possible I need to like like he s just I mean the crushing insecurity of Almost being a pilot that s got to get to someone yeah, but honestly that might be a part of it because I
1
SPEAKER_01
I do know for a fact that he must be super insecure to have to juggle two women at the same time.
1
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, I never thought about the co-pilot dynamic.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, maybe he does feel inadequate.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m mainly just saying these things as jokes, but they could be true, I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
So what are you up to?
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay, so now he s coming back.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I, I, uh, transferred from regional to mainline and it s, it s a way bigger airline.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I m thinking, okay, I m never going to fucking see this guy again.
1
SPEAKER_01
Cause he had like lower seniority than I did.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I thought he would just fucking stay at regional.
1
SPEAKER_01
Um, and I saw him like right before I left for disability, I had a flight where he was there.
1
SPEAKER_01
And when we did the briefing together, I just totally.
1
SPEAKER_01
Zoned out and I didn t say a fucking word to him and I he was briefing you Yeah, you do a briefing like before each Each day like before the first flight of the day you have to do like a crew briefing.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s wild goddamn but like I I just I like froze and like didn t know it s like I was like so angry cuz like It s just really bad terms and also it s kind of like freaky because I
1
SPEAKER_01
When we, when I did find out what the fuck he was doing, I like reamed him out, um, through text message.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I also went to his apartment and, um, to get my stuff.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like he told me to like go to his apartment and get his stuff.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I like finally planned a date with him.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like, okay, I m coming on this day to go get my shit.
1
SPEAKER_01
And he wasn t there.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like, he s like, oh, it ll be better if I just leave.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I m not there when you get your stuff.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m like, okay, you fucking pussy.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I like showed up and got my stuff.
1
SPEAKER_01
And while I was there, um, I stole his bike.
1
SPEAKER_00
You stole his bike?
1
SPEAKER_00
Why d you steal his bike?
1
SPEAKER_01
Because he would drag me on bike rides all the time.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I actually got really into it.
1
SPEAKER_01
And he had like multiple bikes, like bicycles.
1
SPEAKER_01
And, um, I was like, you know what?
1
SPEAKER_01
I m going to use this more than you do.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wait, sorry.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m missing part of the story.
1
SPEAKER_01
So Amy, the other woman, um, she lent him his car, her car.
1
SPEAKER_01
And when he had her car, he damaged it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m not really sure of the specifics, but I guess he like damaged her car.
1
SPEAKER_01
And it was like a couple hundred bucks of repairs.
1
SPEAKER_01
And before they broke up, he was like, Oh, I m going to cover it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m going to cover it.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then after they broke up, he went like radio silence.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I like was contacting Amy and like figuring, like, I actually took Amy s stuff from his apartment as well, because she didn t want to go there.
1
SPEAKER_01
And she was telling me about all the money that he owed her.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I took the bike as collateral and said, I ll give you your bike back.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s too complicated at that point.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s too complicated at that point.
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, what, okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
So what are you doing now?
1
SPEAKER_00
Like, are you, are you, are you, are you dating anyone?
1
SPEAKER_00
Are you chilling?
1
SPEAKER_00
What s what s going on?
1
SPEAKER_01
Um, yeah, I m kind of over it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m just, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s hard to trust people after finding out that they Like yeah, just some of the details of like what this guy did to juggle two women at the same time It s like really fucking scary and like I just don t trust people anymore Yeah, yeah, I can see I can see why I can see why I
1
SPEAKER_00
It s crazy.
1
SPEAKER_00
People trust that man every day to not, well, I guess he s the co-pilot.
1
SPEAKER_00
He doesn t really do anything.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was going to say people trust him too.
1
SPEAKER_00
So really, if you tell him he s not a real pilot, he ll get so mad.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, 100%.
1
SPEAKER_01
He could not take a joke.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like I remember one time I made it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Do you think is he really, is he not a real pilot?
1
SPEAKER_00
Is he a real pilot?
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, be honest.
1
SPEAKER_00
Is he a real pilot?
1
SPEAKER_01
He s a real pilot.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s just, um,
1
SPEAKER_01
He s a man child.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
What were you going to say?
1
SPEAKER_00
You said you were making fun of him.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, he just, he couldn t take a joke.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like I remember one time I made a joke about his landings being rough and instead of laughing, he got like really upset.
1
SPEAKER_01
And that was like the moment I knew that it wasn t going to work out.
1
SPEAKER_01
Um,
1
SPEAKER_00
You made a joke about his landings being rough.
1
SPEAKER_00
Did he?
1
SPEAKER_00
I think that s I think it s important for the landings like the most landings when most people like die, right?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, takeoff and landing is like 85 percent of all accidents.
1
SPEAKER_00
So what s your name again?
1
SPEAKER_01
Stephanie.
1
SPEAKER_00
Stephanie.
1
SPEAKER_00
Stephanie, I m sorry that this has broken your trust in people, especially in pilots, you know?
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
To anyone listening, never fuck a pilot.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was stupid by doing it myself, but they are notorious womanizers.
1
SPEAKER_01
The older the get they get the more perverted and like fucking weird they get just just don t do it Fuck a fucking uber driver instead.
1
SPEAKER_00
They ll be much more grateful Yeah, 100% Stephanie is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
1
SPEAKER_01
Probably just don t shit where you eat like never hook up with a co-worker.
1
SPEAKER_00
Mm-hmm
1
SPEAKER_00
Especially not in the sky.
2
SPEAKER_02
But so my question is, should I be nice to him if I see him again, or should I be mean to him?
2
SPEAKER_02
Like, am I justified to be mean to him?
2
SPEAKER_01
Um, all right.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m going to answer that question with this question to you.
2
SPEAKER_01
Um, and like, you don t have to answer this right away, but like to answer this is what, this is what I would think about in this situation.
2
SPEAKER_01
Should you be nice to him?
2
SPEAKER_01
Should you be mean to him?
2
SPEAKER_01
Truly think about that.
2
SPEAKER_01
You don t have to answer it right now, but like,
2
SPEAKER_01
Which of those two things will make your life easier?
2
SPEAKER_02
Probably just ignoring him.
2
SPEAKER_01
I can t answer that question for you, but that s how I would frame what you just asked.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s just hard because part of me wants to like,
2
SPEAKER_02
make his life miserable while we re working together.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then the other part of me is like, you re like, like you re an asshole or like you re pathetic if you like care so much.
2
SPEAKER_01
Again, it s a question of what s going to make your life and your day easier, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
Cause sometimes harboring anger and trying to get back at people is a distraction from happiness.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then other times it feels good, but sometimes that good, that good feeling is like a, is a vice of some kind, but I, you know, I can t answer that question for you, but that s how I would think about it.
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
Um, thank you for calling Stephanie and, uh, I hope maybe one day, um, I will ask you in the sky for a bag of peanuts bag of pretzels.
2
SPEAKER_01
That sounds good too.
2
SPEAKER_02
All right.
2
SPEAKER_02
Thanks for taking my call, dude.
2
SPEAKER_01
Bye Stephanie.
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_02
See ya.
2
SPEAKER_01
Hey folks, this is Lyle.
2
SPEAKER_01
I am very excited to announce that I am going back on tour in 2024 to do Therapy Gecko Live all across the country.
2
SPEAKER_01
If you ve never been to one of my live shows before, they re basically like giant group gecko therapy sessions where people from the audience come on stage to talk to a gecko about whatever they want, just like we do right here on the podcast.
2
SPEAKER_01
Plus,
2
SPEAKER_01
I mix in a few stories and presentations and little tidbits from my own life.
2
SPEAKER_01
Tickets are available right now at therapygeckotour.com, or you can find the link in the episode description.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m announcing many more cities in the second half of the year, but right now, tickets are on sale for Phoenix, Arizona, Louisville, Kentucky, St.
2
SPEAKER_01
Louis, Missouri, Orlando, Florida, Tampa, Florida,
2
SPEAKER_01
Miami, Florida, Boston, Massachusetts, Denver, Colorado, Syracuse, New York, Albany, New York, Hartford, Connecticut, Las Vegas, Nevada, Salt Lake City, Utah, Nashville, Tennessee, Huntsville, Alabama, Chicago, Illinois, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, San Jose, California, San Francisco, California, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington.
2
SPEAKER_01
And you can get tickets for all of those cities at therapygeckotour.com.
2
SPEAKER_01
If you didn t hear me say your city, you can still go to the link and hit the RSVP button to get notified for when I do come to your city in the second half of the year.
2
SPEAKER_01
This is my third tour so far, and I think it s gonna be sick.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I hope to see you there.
2
SPEAKER_01
Thanks.
2
SPEAKER_00
Hello.
2
SPEAKER_00
Hey, what s up dog?
2
SPEAKER_00
How you doing?
2
SPEAKER_01
I m doing all right, man.
2
SPEAKER_01
What d you want to talk about today?
2
SPEAKER_00
So I just moved into my apartment about two weeks ago and the previous tenant came over last night and she knocked on my door.
2
SPEAKER_00
Let me backtrack a little bit.
2
SPEAKER_00
10 minutes prior to her knocking on my door, the neighbor next door, I was walking in the hall ready to come back to my apartment and he goes, Hey, did you get new floors?
2
SPEAKER_00
I m like, yeah, I think I got new floors.
2
SPEAKER_00
They look fresh.
2
SPEAKER_00
They look clean to me.
2
SPEAKER_00
So after that happened, 10 minutes later, the previous tenant came by.
2
SPEAKER_00
She knocked on the door.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m over here cooking in the kitchen, getting my gym prep right, things of that nature.
2
SPEAKER_00
I looked through the peephole.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s this woman in all business attire.
2
SPEAKER_00
She looks a little older.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m like, oh, what s going on?
2
SPEAKER_00
The manager ain t coming to my apartment.
2
SPEAKER_00
So what the fuck are you talking about?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, keep going.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m not going to interrupt anymore.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
2
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I let her in and she showed me her ID.
2
SPEAKER_00
She was explaining how she was the previous tenant and that she wanted to come in and see something about something she had to pay for.
2
SPEAKER_00
I believe it was something with the floors in the window and things of that nature.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I let her in, showed her around.
2
SPEAKER_00
This is bold of me.
2
SPEAKER_00
I usually don t let strangers in.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know what I m saying?
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t really like,
2
SPEAKER_00
dealing with a whole lot of people coming into my personal space.
2
SPEAKER_00
This is my org.
2
SPEAKER_00
This is where my energy is highest.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know what I m saying?
2
SPEAKER_00
By the way, if I sound high, I am very high right now.
2
SPEAKER_00
I just took a dab of some cereal milk and I m feeling pretty good.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know what I m saying?
2
SPEAKER_01
So I m not going to interrupt this story to ask what a dab of cereal milk means, but go ahead.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, a dab of cereal milk.
2
SPEAKER_01
So just continue.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay, my bad.
2
SPEAKER_00
So, so I let her in.
2
SPEAKER_00
I let her show, you know, I showed her around.
2
SPEAKER_00
And after I showed her around for a little bit, she was like, starting to touch up on me a little bit, starting to touch my shoulder.
2
SPEAKER_00
And in my head, I m thinking, why is she touching me like this?
2
SPEAKER_00
But at the same time, I m like, I m going to let her keep touching me.
2
SPEAKER_00
Fuck it.
2
SPEAKER_00
So, she asked me how old I was.
2
SPEAKER_00
In my head, I was like, should I tell her my age?
2
SPEAKER_00
I m 24, by the way.
2
SPEAKER_00
Should I tell her my age, or should I f**k her?
2
SPEAKER_00
I said f**k her.
2
SPEAKER_01
Should I tell her my age or should I f**k her?
2
SPEAKER_01
I said f**k her.
2
SPEAKER_01
Should I tell her my age or should I f**k her?
2
SPEAKER_00
All right, I ll sit down.
2
SPEAKER_00
I ll sit down on my bed.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay, Greg, what were you saying?
2
SPEAKER_00
Nice, lovely chair.
2
SPEAKER_00
So, she started rubbing up on my shoulder and in my head I was thinking, damn, should I tell her?
2
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no, I was telling her my age.
2
SPEAKER_00
She asked about my age.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I told her I was 24 and she was like, damn, I m double your age.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m like, what do you mean you re double my age?
2
SPEAKER_00
She pulls out her ID again.
2
SPEAKER_00
Turns out she was double my age.
2
SPEAKER_00
She was born, I believe 1978.
2
SPEAKER_00
which I thought was crazy.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m like, damn, you want to rub up on me?
2
SPEAKER_00
You fucking cougar over here plotting and shit.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I offered her a glass of wine because I m a wine connoisseur.
2
SPEAKER_00
I love wine.
2
SPEAKER_00
And she was a pastry chef, is what she said when we were talking a little bit.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I offered her some wine.
2
SPEAKER_00
We drank a little bit of wine.
2
SPEAKER_00
We listened to music, chopping it up.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then she come on to me and started kissing me.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, this shit is crazy.
2
SPEAKER_00
I had like a that s so Raven moment when time just stopped and I m over here thinking about the
2
SPEAKER_00
I was just thinking about everything that s going on.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then after, you know, she started kissing up on me.
2
SPEAKER_00
She tried to touch up on me.
2
SPEAKER_00
She was like, oh, I got to go back home to my daughter.
2
SPEAKER_00
So then she was like, let me get your Instagram and your phone number.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna catch you later.
2
SPEAKER_00
So.
2
SPEAKER_00
I haven t heard from her since, but that shit was weird yesterday.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s fucking awesome, man.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was awesome.
2
SPEAKER_00
I had a great time.
2
SPEAKER_00
I want to come back over.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s really cool.
2
SPEAKER_01
Did she message you again?
2
SPEAKER_01
Are you going to message her?
2
SPEAKER_01
What s up?
2
SPEAKER_00
So I messaged her the pictures that she needed for her little apartment.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then she said, oh, thank you.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know, I really want to get back together sometime with you.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I said, whenever you re free, you re more than welcome to come over.
2
SPEAKER_00
and then she just hearted my message and left it on red.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was victimized.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was dead.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, because, I mean, when something like that happens to you, you probably, you know, she leaves, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
And then you just start fantasizing all the fucking crazy porn scenarios that you have in your head.
2
SPEAKER_01
And you re like, oh my God.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then you re like, oh, it s all gonna happen.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then she hearts your message and you re like, oh no, dude.
2
SPEAKER_00
I know, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
I m like, fuck, man.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s over.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s gone, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, whatever was up with her that day is... She is fixed.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know, but between me and you, I think she wanna fuck and she s gonna get some dick this weekend.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know, man.
2
SPEAKER_01
The heart reacts on the message followed by nothing.
2
SPEAKER_01
It tells a different story.
2
SPEAKER_01
But look, I hope that you live your fairytale dream.
2
SPEAKER_00
I really hope I do too, man, because this is some shit out of a movie and I couldn t believe it.
2
SPEAKER_00
I still can t believe it.
2
SPEAKER_01
How s your sex life going otherwise?
2
SPEAKER_00
Besides that, it s honestly been very quiet.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was living at my grandmother s for two years, saving up, trying to get back out of debt to be able to get into this new apartment that I m in.
2
SPEAKER_00
So thank God for that.
2
SPEAKER_00
God did.
2
SPEAKER_00
So once I moved out of the apartment, now I m really trying to explore
3
SPEAKER_01
more being into sexually active and things of that nature but I don t want to go around fucking everything that has an ass and that wears some fucking jeans so we gonna see I mean I might rebuttal what I m saying because I really want to fuck that milf but outside of that I m talking to this girl right now I m not gonna lie we work together so we gonna have to see how that goes and
3
SPEAKER_02
You know this I m trying to think of why this woman started making out with you, and if there s any like a weird alternative Well like maybe she s trying to like sue the landlord and like having you as a booty call is like a way into the apartment
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, that might be what it truly is, because I truly don t understand either.
3
SPEAKER_01
What does a person double my age have any business doing at seven o clock at night?
3
SPEAKER_01
By the way, she mentioned she had an 18 year old daughter.
3
SPEAKER_01
So what s she doing coming over here trying to fuck around and then go back home to your daughter?
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, get the fuck out of here.
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t know why anyone ever does anything.
3
SPEAKER_02
But sometimes that is very true.
3
SPEAKER_02
Sometimes you don t even sometimes you don t want to know the answers to those questions.
3
SPEAKER_01
Absolutely.
3
SPEAKER_01
Absolutely.
3
SPEAKER_01
I might have to discover.
3
SPEAKER_01
I might not.
3
SPEAKER_01
We ll have to see.
3
SPEAKER_01
We ll have to see.
3
SPEAKER_02
Some people, I think some people are saying that you re a brag.
3
SPEAKER_02
You called in just a brag, but I don t, which don t say anything, which might be true, but I don t, I don t care.
3
SPEAKER_02
That was, look, I wish I, that s a fun brag.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s a worthy brag.
3
SPEAKER_02
Brag away.
3
SPEAKER_02
Are you still there?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I m still here.
3
SPEAKER_01
I cut out a little bit.
3
SPEAKER_02
Okay, I just don t let this woman murder you oh Absolutely.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, we ll have to see and chat.
3
SPEAKER_01
I did not come in to brag Honestly, this was just so spontaneous and you got to keep in mind.
3
SPEAKER_01
I haven t been sexually active in two years.
3
SPEAKER_02
So for this whole Why do you think you have why do you feel like you haven t been sexually active in two years what s been going on?
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh
3
SPEAKER_01
Because I ve been living at my granny s house.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, what am I supposed to do?
3
SPEAKER_01
Have a woman come over and be like, hey granny, go in the other room.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m about to fuck this tricker real quick.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, no, no, I can t do that.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s disrespectful.
3
SPEAKER_02
I mean, you could always, you could have sex with your grandmother.
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t know why I said that.
3
SPEAKER_02
I really... I don t want to do that.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I don t regret saying it.
3
SPEAKER_02
I did and I can t take it back and we re putting it on the internet forever.
3
SPEAKER_02
What s your name again?
3
SPEAKER_01
My name is Cereal Milk.
3
SPEAKER_02
Cereal Milk.
3
SPEAKER_02
Is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?
3
SPEAKER_01
You know what, man?
3
SPEAKER_01
Alaska is a city, not a state.
3
SPEAKER_01
And by the way, Lyle, I came to your show in Vegas last year.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was amazing.
3
SPEAKER_01
Great time.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, cool.
3
SPEAKER_01
I wish Vegas was on the tour list again, but it s all good.
3
SPEAKER_01
I might have to buy tickets.
3
SPEAKER_02
Ah, you know, all right.
3
SPEAKER_02
You know what?
3
SPEAKER_02
I m going to tell you something.
3
SPEAKER_02
I was like, ah, you motherfu- I got offered to go back to Vegas today, and I was debating if I was going to do it.
3
SPEAKER_02
But now I guess I ll do it now.
3
SPEAKER_01
Please do it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Please do it.
3
SPEAKER_01
All right.
3
SPEAKER_01
I ll go to Vegas.
3
SPEAKER_02
All right, man.
3
SPEAKER_02
Is there anything else you want to say to the, I guess, I think I asked you that already, but, um, take care of cereal milk and, uh, God bless you.
3
SPEAKER_01
God bless you.
3
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_01
Forever.
3
SPEAKER_02
Thanks, man.
3
SPEAKER_02
Um,
3
SPEAKER_02
Why did I say that if that guy could have sex with his grandma?
3
SPEAKER_02
Because sometimes it s fun to say horrible things.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
3
SPEAKER_02
Hey, what s up, man?
3
SPEAKER_00
Hey, uh, this is Getch.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
Is this, uh, who is this?
3
SPEAKER_00
This is Paris.
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, what s going on Paris?
3
SPEAKER_00
Uh, well, I m not doing too good right now, to be honest with you.
3
SPEAKER_00
I got four broken ribs and like five or six more that are fractured.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then two of my spinal things got, uh, knocked out of alignment when I got into a car accident, uh, two days ago.
3
SPEAKER_00
And, uh, they, uh, this woman pulled me from the burning car.
3
SPEAKER_00
Um, so that was.
3
SPEAKER_00
quite good, kind of a little guardian angel moment.
3
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, so that was basically how I ve been feeling for the past couple of days, because that s a little bit of a wreck.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I m sure you can t receive texts through the message line, because people would probably just send you dicks.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I tried to... No, no, no, no, no.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m looking at... I m looking at... There we go.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, this is a picture of you in the hospital bed.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh, shit.
3
SPEAKER_02
This is a picture of the car.
3
SPEAKER_02
The car looks pretty fucked up.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, the car is fucked.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then right underneath that is, yep, a big picture of your cock.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that I didn t mean to send you.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s my fault.
3
SPEAKER_02
No, these pictures look crazy man.
3
SPEAKER_02
I this car looks like it s That was the car.
3
SPEAKER_02
I wish I could I mean it s like a Yeah, this is an audio medium.
3
SPEAKER_02
But um, yeah, this car looks like it s completely.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
I was on fucking fire, man So like how d you get out?
3
SPEAKER_00
I was knocked out unconscious and this woman well, actually first
3
SPEAKER_00
I was in the passenger seat, right?
3
SPEAKER_00
So first, the guy who s in the driver s seat, uh, who is a friend, but also an acid dealer and had acid on him.
3
SPEAKER_00
So he pulled me out of the car and then started running cause I guess it wasn t on fire at that point.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then the woman across the street noticed it was on fire and saw me laying in the middle of the road and pulled me away from the, the,
3
SPEAKER_00
fire.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then that s when I woke up.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then I saw that it was about to explode.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then it did.
3
SPEAKER_00
And it was quite alarming.
3
SPEAKER_02
Damn, dude, that s some, some action movie shit that you just escaped out of.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, definitely felt like it.
3
SPEAKER_00
We got t bones into two telephone poles, I guess.
3
SPEAKER_00
According to, you know, what
3
SPEAKER_00
They told me afterwards at the accident site, but then I just kind of went in the ambulance.
3
SPEAKER_00
But the biggest problem was since he wasn t there, they thought I was driving.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I said my name was my brother s name.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I don t even really remember doing that, but I was really out of it.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then I was in the hospital and then discharged from the hospital under my brother s name, which I m scared is fraud.
3
SPEAKER_02
Is that pause to ask me if that s fraud?
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m not the guy for any of your legal questions, unfortunately.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, probably not.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s okay, though.
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t know, man.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that s an Attorney Tom question.
3
SPEAKER_02
Let s talk about this, though.
3
SPEAKER_02
How do you feel in general?
3
SPEAKER_02
Are you making any changes to your life now that you almost died?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, definitely.
3
SPEAKER_00
I, uh, kind of, I mean, I was obviously a little messed up to be in the passenger seat of my own car.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
3
SPEAKER_00
So I, uh, well, when I say my own car, but it was a family car.
3
SPEAKER_00
We kind of, me and my brother share a vehicle, shared a vehicle.
3
SPEAKER_00
I no longer have that right at this point.
3
SPEAKER_02
You no longer have the vehicle.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, no, but he got a rental and obvious and I m not gonna ask to drive it anytime soon.
3
SPEAKER_02
Okay Anyway, so all right, man.
3
SPEAKER_02
So like how did you how do you feel about?
3
SPEAKER_02
You had a near-death experience, you know, how does that?
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, how did that be anything?
3
SPEAKER_02
What did that become for you?
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, I was pretty at first I was pretty like I
3
SPEAKER_00
sad in the way that I was like, oh man, I kind of wish I had died.
3
SPEAKER_00
But then a lot of that is because I had a best friend who died very recently.
3
SPEAKER_00
So that like added to my sadness a bit.
3
SPEAKER_00
But then once I was in the hospital and they like told me about all my wounds and whatnot and started like helping me heal, I stopped feeling
3
SPEAKER_00
that way and then try to more think about what kind of decisions I can make to not put myself in that position such as like you know making sure I uh I mean we were driving too late at night it was stupid uh the other guy hit and ran so he was probably drunk or in a stolen car some shit and yeah uh I I just feel I mean my
3
SPEAKER_00
One of my friends is really trying to push me towards religion at this point.
4
SPEAKER_01
point and God and spirituality but I ve always been a little bit hesitant on that I don t know how do you feel about it well why did you and you know look we can get into this if you if you want and we don t have to if you don t want to but why did you feel like you wish you would have died well just cuz I ve been pretty depressed since he
4
SPEAKER_01
died.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I was really upset with myself for having, you know, been out that late at night and letting all this happen.
4
SPEAKER_01
And also, in a lot of pain, I guess, too.
4
SPEAKER_01
So it was just kind of a combination of all that because I usually would say I m like, not suicidal, but maybe wish I had been aborted.
4
SPEAKER_01
But like,
4
SPEAKER_01
Uh, I, I, I did genuinely, uh, feel like it, uh, in the moments, not in the moments afterwards, but once I kind of was coming to grips with like the fact that I almost just died.
4
SPEAKER_01
Cause it was like two out of it and, uh, concussed to really process it at the very beginning.
4
SPEAKER_00
Mm-hmm.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then in terms of how you feel like you re going to act differently in the future, you know, tell me more about that.
4
SPEAKER_01
Uh, well, first of all, I am gonna make sure that I trust more sparingly.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I shouldn t have put, uh, I should have not put anyone in that position to be driving my car.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, unless like they re my brother or something like that.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, if I wasn t, you know, uh, effed up, uh, um, the asset, uh, I would have, you know, been fine to drive myself home.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, and I also in the past have had, uh,
4
SPEAKER_01
some, like, I would say issues with drinking, but this kind of made me realize that I can t use any mind altering substance that much, for sure.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then also just being more
4
SPEAKER_01
cautious with like, well, I guess it was kind of out of character for me to do that in the first place, but just making sure that I realize when I m like about to do something that s dumb and like manic or something.
4
SPEAKER_01
I guess it was a bad decision to go out late at night to do acid in the first place.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, you know, I mean, look, going out late at night and doing acid, I think, um, I don t think that was a horrible decision until you involved a car.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Um, yeah, I m glad to hear that you re, uh, processing this in a, in, in a beneficial way.
4
SPEAKER_00
Right.
4
SPEAKER_00
Because I mean, fuck man, you totally could have died and you didn t.
4
SPEAKER_00
And now you re, you re given a new chance to make better decisions.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s, I m still kind of feeling like I m coming to terms with the whole like near death aspect of it all.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like I feel like it hasn t fully sank in, but I definitely feel a lot more grateful than I had in the past, like for being alive.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s good.
4
SPEAKER_00
That sounds like the opposite of suicidal.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Well now, yeah, I feel, I feel more like, uh,
4
SPEAKER_01
engaged to not want to, uh, you know, have anything like that happen again, or, you know, die in some kind of accident or something like that.
4
SPEAKER_01
I want to make sure that I can do something that, uh, you know, at the end of the day matters a little bit.
4
SPEAKER_00
What do you want to do that you think will matter?
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, well, I went to film school.
4
SPEAKER_01
Uh, I went to, uh, NYU
4
SPEAKER_01
for filmmaking and minored in screenwriting.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so I ve been trying to sell scripts and stuff like that.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I ve sold a couple, but there s not a lot of buzz on my name right now.
4
SPEAKER_01
After the writer s strike and everything, things kind of reset, I feel like.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m back, kind of, almost at square one.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, maybe square two, because I have an agent still, but I m, like, still kind of struggling trying to make some smaller short films and convince people to do it for little to no money and shit like that.
4
SPEAKER_00
Are you going to adapt any of this into your writing at all?
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, if I got a
4
SPEAKER_01
budget where I could crash a car, I would do it.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I don t think I would go out of my way to do that on a personal budget.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I think that it definitely would be good for a screenwriting.
4
SPEAKER_01
And that s actually a really beneficial idea that I don t know why I didn t think of sooner.
4
SPEAKER_00
What s your name again, man?
4
SPEAKER_01
Paris, like this in France.
4
SPEAKER_00
Paris.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, thanks for sharing the story, Paris.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Again, I m happy to hear that you re processing it very well.
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, is there any other aspect of any of this or anything at all that you want to share or say before we go?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I guess what would be your general take on, like, near-death experiences and stuff like that and how to kind of, you know,
4
SPEAKER_01
how they might like either change your life or how they can make your outlook better.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, that one s easy.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, look, man, you got nothing if you re dead, right?
4
SPEAKER_00
And so the things that stress you out in life, like, you know, I m not selling enough screenplays or, oh, my friend s mad at me or this or that.
4
SPEAKER_00
And any day-to-day problem, even if it s a big one, I mean, any day-to-day stress or whatever, it just fucking pales in comparison to the stress that you have experienced of being in a car on fire.
4
SPEAKER_00
So next time somebody s not responding to your email fast enough after you sent them your script, you can just be like, well, at least I m not in a car that s on fire.
4
SPEAKER_00
You get to use, and you re actually, you re even lucky because you get to use that every day for the rest of your life.
4
SPEAKER_00
Anytime anything bad happens to you, you can go, well, at least I m not in a car that s on fire.
4
SPEAKER_00
Um, you know, I, um, uh, uh, what am I, someone in my family actually was in a, was in a car accident.
4
SPEAKER_00
And, um, she told me that every time something annoying happens to her, like, um, you know, whatever this, there s like a long line at the grocery store.
4
SPEAKER_00
She, she imagines this.
4
SPEAKER_00
She s like, she imagines herself in a burning car.
4
SPEAKER_00
And an angel comes to her and says, now listen, and the car is on fire, and the angel says, now listen, I can cut you a deal, I can let you out of this burning car, but in return, you have to wait in a long line at the grocery store.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes, of course, let me out of the car, Jesus, right now, I ll do it.
4
SPEAKER_00
So, think about that.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s, I guess,
4
SPEAKER_01
is more of a literal case with me because I did have a woman physically pull me out of the car, kind of a guardian angel situation.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I can take that one literally.
4
SPEAKER_00
Uh, take care of Paris.
4
SPEAKER_00
Thank you very much for calling.
4
SPEAKER_01
Love you, Gak.
4
SPEAKER_01
Thank you so much.
4
SPEAKER_01
I really appreciate it.
4
SPEAKER_01
First time calling a long time.
4
SPEAKER_00
Take care.
4
SPEAKER_00
I hope to see your name on a, on a movie someday.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yes, sir.
4
SPEAKER_01
When you do, make sure to shout it out.
4
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, if I get to direct it, I ll throw you a bone and give you a cameo.
4
SPEAKER_01
If you want a whole roll, I ll give you a big one.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
When, uh, you know, when, when my career is, uh, all the way at its bottom, I will very much accept your bone.
4
SPEAKER_00
Take care.
4
SPEAKER_01
Bye.
4
SPEAKER_01
Hello.
4
SPEAKER_00
Hi.
4
SPEAKER_00
What is your name?
5
SPEAKER_00
Holy shit.
5
SPEAKER_00
My name s Steph.
5
SPEAKER_01
What s up, Steph?
5
SPEAKER_01
What do you want to talk about today?
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t really have anything too crazy going on.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, there s always stuff, but nothing that I need, like, urgent advice on.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s good.
5
SPEAKER_01
So your life is perfect and nothing bad has ever happened to you ever.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s pretty good.
5
SPEAKER_00
No, no.
5
SPEAKER_00
No, definitely bad stuff a lot, but I feel like, I don t know, you ve had some crazy stuff on yours.
5
SPEAKER_00
None of my stories are as crazy.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know, it s funny.
5
SPEAKER_01
OK, so there s a phone.
5
SPEAKER_01
There was a caller.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s always funny when people say that.
5
SPEAKER_01
They re like, oh, I feel like I have nothing to talk about because, you know, you have all these crazy stories of people, you know, getting into weird sex cults and doing methamphetamine and running from the cops in Argentina.
5
SPEAKER_01
But you know, one of my favorite phone calls and maybe it wasn t the call itself, but it was the idea behind it.
5
SPEAKER_01
There was this guy who called in.
5
SPEAKER_01
This was a while ago.
5
SPEAKER_01
This is over one or two years ago is this guy called in to talk about how.
5
SPEAKER_01
He has this pizza place that he really likes in the state that he lives in, but then he took a trip to the state, uh, right over like one state over and he had pizza at their pizza place and it was better.
5
SPEAKER_01
And so now when he eats pizza at the pizza place in his state, it s not as good anymore.
5
SPEAKER_01
Even though, even though he liked it before he tried the other pizza place.
5
SPEAKER_01
Isn t that fascinating?
5
SPEAKER_01
Isn t that it?
5
SPEAKER_01
There s so much, there s like life in that story and that is nothing, that is not interesting at all, but it is interesting.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s like the microcosm of, I don t know, a desire for a never-ending lust for novelty.
5
SPEAKER_01
or something I think I think about that guy every time people say that they don t have anything to talk about because the things of least that I want to hear about I mean people will call it like people will call in and be like um yeah man I once did acid and ran from the cops
5
SPEAKER_01
And I ll be like, all right, but that s not really a story.
5
SPEAKER_01
There s no humanity in that you didn t learn anything.
5
SPEAKER_01
You didn t discover anything.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know, much more interesting stories that are lower concepts.
5
SPEAKER_01
So that s, I guess I m saying that to make you hopefully think of anything that you, you know, is going on that, you know, maybe you ruled out as too minute.
5
SPEAKER_00
Gotcha.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
I guess it s about like how you tell it.
5
SPEAKER_00
versus like the actual content sometimes.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, I guess the main thing on my mind is I have like five more months on my lease in my current city.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I m trying to think about like my next moves.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m like, should I move home for a couple months and save and then move?
5
SPEAKER_00
Or should I just move straight to another city and just be struggling again?
5
SPEAKER_01
or you re struggling with paying rent?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m only like a couple years post grad, but yeah, I m like struggling to pay rent, which is fine.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know, I don t really live like a super expensive lifestyle anyway, but it would be nice to like have a little extra money.
5
SPEAKER_00
And so I ve thought about when my lease is up, like moving home for a couple months, which I would hate, like, I wouldn t even have like a room.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like I d be like on my mom s like couch, but I m like, is it worth it to do that just for the summer?
5
SPEAKER_00
to get like, you know, like five, $6,000 to help me move somewhere else.
5
SPEAKER_01
What do you do?
5
SPEAKER_00
I m a graphic designer.
5
SPEAKER_01
OK, cool.
5
SPEAKER_01
What do you like?
5
SPEAKER_01
Are you cool with your appearance?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I m fine.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean listen man.
5
SPEAKER_01
I ve said this a billion times on here, but I ve done that I mean I started doing this Podcast in my mom s basement Granted if I didn t have my own room, and if I didn t have my own private like space.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think that would drive me Significantly more insane, but that s the thing like she it s just my mom cuz my dad lives somewhere else She just has like a small apartment now
5
SPEAKER_00
So I m like, it would be really cramped.
5
SPEAKER_00
And like my younger brother would probably be there this summer too.
5
SPEAKER_00
So it s like, would it be worth it?
5
SPEAKER_01
Uh, look, I don t think it s a terrible idea.
5
SPEAKER_01
Uh, this is, this is, we re getting into financial advice gecko now, but I don t think that, um, living at home to save money is a, is a horrible idea.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, can you, what, what city, what city are you in?
5
SPEAKER_00
I m in Philly.
5
SPEAKER_01
Why don t you get, why don t you get like, I lived in Philly, I had like a bunch of roommates and the rent was cheap as hell.
5
SPEAKER_01
There s somebody like, there s, can t you live in, can t you live in like a neighborhood in Philly and get a bunch of roommates?
5
SPEAKER_01
I lived in North Philly.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, well the thing is, I don t like Philly.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like I m trying to leave Philly.
5
SPEAKER_01
No, Philly rocks.
5
SPEAKER_01
What do you like about Philly?
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know, like, I don t really like the cold.
5
SPEAKER_00
So that s like one thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I don t know, it feels a little bit limited.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I grew up in New York, so it just feels a little bit like small in comparison.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t know, man.
5
SPEAKER_01
I think Philly is a six.
5
SPEAKER_01
Are you trying to move to New York?
5
SPEAKER_01
Because if that s the case, you re gonna have to live on your mom s couch for the next five years.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s true.
5
SPEAKER_00
No, I kind of want to move to like the West Coast.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s why I m like, I probably should save money first.
5
SPEAKER_00
What s a night?
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, not LA, right?
5
SPEAKER_00
Maybe.
5
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_01
Cause I mean, I m trying to think of like, what are some cheap, nice, I think Phoenix is like, and correct me if I m wrong, Phoenicians.
5
SPEAKER_01
But, uh, I think Phoenix is like a, like an up and coming moderately affordable West coast cities.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it s hot as balls there, so it s hot enough to make up for however many cold years you spent in Philadelphia.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I have heard about Phoenix.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m thinking about it.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m not really thinking too much about where I m gonna move yet, more just like if I should just send it or not.
5
SPEAKER_01
Do you have a job, you have to like, as a designer, do you have to like go into a place or are you beep booping on the computer?
5
SPEAKER_00
So I work like,
5
SPEAKER_00
at a law firm, so it s like all remote.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, they have offices, places, and I do go in, but like, it s not really essential that I go in every day.
5
SPEAKER_01
Live your, live your digital nomad life, dog.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, the thing is like, technically we re supposed to even like, when I go in, it s really just to like, hang out with my coworkers that are my friends.
5
SPEAKER_00
But like, technically we have to go in like a couple of times a week.
5
SPEAKER_00
So.
5
SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I just have to move somewhere where they have an office.
5
SPEAKER_01
Where do they have offices?
5
SPEAKER_00
Like a lot of places.
5
SPEAKER_01
Do they have offices in Phoenix, Arizona?
5
SPEAKER_00
Unfortunately, no.
5
SPEAKER_01
Do they exclusively have offices in cities with extremely high costs of living, but also can t pay their employees enough to live in those fucking cities?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that sounds about right.
5
SPEAKER_01
Um, well, I don t know, man.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_01
I, I, I mean, I like Philly, but that, well, I don t know why I m telling you that.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s me liking Philly has absolutely nothing to do with your situation at all.
5
SPEAKER_01
Um, uh, you could live.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t know where you could live.
5
SPEAKER_01
Where could you live?
5
SPEAKER_01
Where do you want to live?
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I ve thought about like spending a year like abroad or something.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, I think that d be really cool, but I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_00
I keep like, I, I have this issue where like, I m like 24 and I m so scared to like go live abroad a year or like go fuck around for another year.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then like first, I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_00
I always just like worry about like being forever alone.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know, I m like single, like no strings and I m scared to like leave.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then first come and start like looking for a husband, basically like
5
SPEAKER_00
first at like 28 or 29 like that is kind of scary.
5
SPEAKER_01
You re afraid to start looking for a husband at 28?
5
SPEAKER_00
Well yeah I guess like I m afraid to waste time abroad and then first start settling down like kind of late yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t understand why you look at it as a waste of time.
5
SPEAKER_00
I know that s true that s what people are telling me like
6
SPEAKER_01
I can t like think about a timeline.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s just like live in a moment and then you know, whatever happens Look anytime I ve ever left the country.
6
SPEAKER_00
I ve never been like I
6
SPEAKER_00
You know, I wish I actually okay.
6
SPEAKER_00
Well, okay.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna tell you what I was about to say and then I m gonna tell you Why I second-guessed it I was about to say I ve never left the country and then been like and then came back and been like I wish I spent that time looking for a wife, but I second-guessed it because Maybe I should have spent that time looking for a wife.
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t know but
6
SPEAKER_00
The point I ve never left the country and regretted it I ve never that s not true.
6
SPEAKER_00
I ve okay.
6
SPEAKER_00
I ve never left the country and regretted it I ve never left the country and been like I should have spent that time looking for a wife I ve never done that in any of the times that I ve left the country It s always and there s places you can go that are like relatively cheap.
6
SPEAKER_00
You know that are significantly cheaper than fucking Philadelphia even I
6
SPEAKER_00
So if it s a... I mean, I m biased because I like doing it, but if you have any inkling of a sense that you might enjoy leaving the country and you, you know, can save up enough money on your mom s couch to do it, then... I mean, I d go for it, but that s just me.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
And there will be plenty of husbands left at 28.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, no, that s definitely true.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s definitely true.
6
SPEAKER_00
Um, that s cool, man.
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
6
SPEAKER_00
My, my, my, my parents met their current spouses when they were like 40 something.
6
SPEAKER_00
Um, so there s time.
6
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
6
SPEAKER_01
But did they have kids that late too?
6
SPEAKER_00
Uh, how old, how old am I?
6
SPEAKER_00
How old is anyone?
6
SPEAKER_00
I think my parents had me when they were in like their late thirties or something like that.
6
SPEAKER_01
Hmm.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s good to know.
6
SPEAKER_00
Plus, Hey, maybe you go abroad and you meet a, uh, a foreign guy.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that could be cool.
6
SPEAKER_00
Isn t that everyone s fantasy to like meet a hot European dude and get on his moped and never come back.
6
SPEAKER_00
Not well never come back.
6
SPEAKER_00
That sounds like that sounds like taken that doesn t sound like the Fantasy, but you know what I m saying Yeah, I don t know.
6
SPEAKER_01
I feel like most of my friends like have no interest in that Not specific fantasy or most of your friends are married to their rural, Pennsylvania boyfriends No, not necessarily, but like I don t know the whole like I
6
SPEAKER_01
being like in a whole nother country and like finding someone there like so far away from like friends and family like isn t super appealing to me at least to you?
6
SPEAKER_00
all my friends yeah like to me like i m not but i thought you just said you wanted to you were thought about living abroad yeah but it would only be for like a year or two probably well i don t know i i i would um
6
SPEAKER_00
I mean, if I were you, if you re asking, I m not going to tell you what to do.
6
SPEAKER_00
Even though I would, if you re asking me what I think about this situation, I would tell you that, um, you re not going to be old and decrepit at the age of 28.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I know.
6
SPEAKER_01
I don t know why I think I am like when I hit 22, I feel like it just, it s been downhill.
6
SPEAKER_00
Hmm, I don t know I I haven t I ve never left the country and came back and been like I should have spent time I
6
SPEAKER_00
looking for a wife but maybe I should have I don t know I this is why it s weird having a I wouldn t call this an advice show this is a this is a gecko show more than anything but it s weird cuz I don t know what makes any I don t know I don t know what s gonna make you stoked in life Steph but I do I do know that you re not gonna
6
SPEAKER_00
Be that when you turn 28 if you re lucky enough to turn 28 You re not gonna be Like you re not gonna be like that lady the chocolate lady from Spongebob Yeah, no, I mean it s not just that I just always worry like oh if I spend a year or two abroad and Come back like I m not gonna be behind in my job and like other stuff But I gotta live the present
6
SPEAKER_00
Stephanie, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
6
SPEAKER_01
No.
6
SPEAKER_00
That was decisive.
6
SPEAKER_00
I like that.
6
SPEAKER_00
Thank you for calling, Stephanie.
6
SPEAKER_00
Good luck.
6
SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
6
SPEAKER_01
Have a good night.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think I m gonna end up on one of those, like, reality shows.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like, I wanna... Oh, you know what I should do?
6
SPEAKER_00
I should do the Bachelor Gek.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like a play- That didn t sound as good as I thought it- I thought it was gonna- I thought I was gonna be able to successfully rhyme Bachelorette with Bachelor Gek.
6
SPEAKER_00
But that didn t work.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think that s what s gonna end up happening, is I m just gonna... Everyone has to try on a gecko costume.
6
SPEAKER_00
And whoever can be a gecko the best, I will give a single rose.
6
SPEAKER_00
I give them a single green rose.
6
SPEAKER_00
All right, now I m actually kind of into this idea.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think that sounds cool.
6
SPEAKER_00
Who gets the green rose?
6
SPEAKER_00
All right, we re doing it.
6
SPEAKER_00
We re doing the Bachelor Gecko.
6
SPEAKER_00
All I need is... How much money does it cost to make a reality TV show?
6
SPEAKER_00
Actually, now that I think about it, it sounds like a lot of work.
6
SPEAKER_00
I ll think of something.