0
SPEAKER_01
Call from John.
0
SPEAKER_01
To accept, press 1.
0
SPEAKER_01
To send a voicemail, press 2.
0
SPEAKER_00
Hi, Lyle.
0
SPEAKER_00
Hello, who is this?
0
SPEAKER_01
This is John.
0
SPEAKER_00
John, how can I get you today, man?
0
SPEAKER_00
What s going on?
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, I m just calling in to talk about some stuff that s happening or has been happening in my life.
0
SPEAKER_01
Post-military?
0
SPEAKER_01
Sure.
0
SPEAKER_01
I was working
0
SPEAKER_01
for the Navy, the U.S.
0
SPEAKER_01
Navy on a submarine back in the 2010s.
0
SPEAKER_01
And pretty much I feel like my life is in shambles afterwards.
0
SPEAKER_01
And the government s response to that stuff was just like, OK, we see what happened here.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s fucked up.
0
SPEAKER_01
Here s your money.
0
SPEAKER_01
But now I can t pursue like
0
SPEAKER_01
a career, education, and like, stuff like that.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s kind of like I m on a permanent hiatus.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m basically forced to be in this retirement in such an early life that I m lost because of a typical, you know, bureaucracy fuck-ups.
0
SPEAKER_01
Sorry, can I curse?
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if I can.
0
SPEAKER_00
You can say whatever the fuck you want on here, John.
0
SPEAKER_00
Alright.
0
SPEAKER_01
So, yeah, it s just a rough bag to get.
0
SPEAKER_01
You know, I m only 27 and I m basically living life like I m 56.
0
SPEAKER_00
Wait a minute, so you were in the military in 2010?
0
SPEAKER_00
No, not 2010.
0
SPEAKER_00
15 16 afterwards 15, okay?
0
SPEAKER_00
now If you want to go into it you can if you don t that s fine, but what was it about being in the military that that left you?
0
SPEAKER_00
That left you left you fucked up.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah Well They don t have a really efficient pathway for like really serious
0
SPEAKER_01
uh, like stuff that could happen to the people they recruit, for instance, like they, they try to recruit from like young ages.
0
SPEAKER_01
Right.
0
SPEAKER_01
But they don t really coordinate and like, figure out like, okay, what kind of health risks can this person have?
0
SPEAKER_01
Right.
0
SPEAKER_01
So what happened to me is I m perfectly healthy, fit, ready to go head out there, pass all my stuff, do all my quals.
0
SPEAKER_01
stay physically fit.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then I think it was about 19 years old, something in my head snapped.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I don t know if it was because it s a submarine and I m six foot if I hit my head too many times, or what, but like, I started going down a path that was like, very strange out of character.
0
SPEAKER_01
And yeah, it was it was very weird for a few months.
0
SPEAKER_01
And the health path line in the military, when you re out doing something like that, it s very non-investigative, you know.
0
SPEAKER_01
They basically were like, you re just faking.
0
SPEAKER_01
You re healthy.
0
SPEAKER_01
Look at you.
0
SPEAKER_01
Nothing s wrong, you know.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then it got worse because they were like, he s just acting out because he s depressed, obviously.
0
SPEAKER_01
And so they prescribed Prozac.
0
SPEAKER_01
And when that wasn t working, they increased the dose week by week until I was at the maximum dosage for months.
0
SPEAKER_01
This is long-winded and really shitty.
0
SPEAKER_01
I hate to bring this here.
0
SPEAKER_00
Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen.
0
SPEAKER_00
Sorry, I m so sorry.
0
SPEAKER_00
I fucking suck at names.
0
SPEAKER_00
What s your name again?
0
SPEAKER_00
It s John.
0
SPEAKER_00
John.
0
SPEAKER_00
Look, here s the thing.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s not long-winded.
0
SPEAKER_00
I ll say this.
0
SPEAKER_00
Are you, is it, like, as you re talking about this stuff, is it helpful for you to talk about it?
0
SPEAKER_01
Well obviously, I feel like this is a great way to take off.
0
SPEAKER_01
I haven t really told anyone other than like VA therapists.
0
SPEAKER_01
So I feel like it s good to get out there, at least in some capacity.
0
SPEAKER_00
So as I understand it so far, you were 19, you re in the submarine, something in your brain snaps.
0
SPEAKER_00
You go to military health services and you kind of go through a bunch of loops.
0
SPEAKER_00
And by the way, listen, before we even go any further into this, just do you talk to a therapist now?
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that s something I should add.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m a complete, I ve completed all forms of like behavioral health therapy.
0
SPEAKER_01
I ve graduated a bunch of programs.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s like post, post.
0
SPEAKER_01
So I m very good at this moment.
0
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh, so you re doing great now.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Really?
0
SPEAKER_00
Okay, hold on.
0
SPEAKER_00
I thought you said your life was in shambles.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, yeah, at least in terms of like, pathing wise.
0
SPEAKER_01
My life is in shambles because of the circumstances.
0
SPEAKER_01
Like, you have to understand, I m diagnosed with schizophrenia, and yet I m here speaking and talking with you, like, like everything.
0
SPEAKER_01
You wouldn t really know if we met and talked for like 10 minutes, you know?
0
SPEAKER_01
You kind of feel like something s up, but like,
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I m pretty... pretty mellow.
0
SPEAKER_00
Cool, man.
0
SPEAKER_00
Cool.
0
SPEAKER_00
So... When you went through all this mental health stuff and these programs, did they tell you anything that was helpful for you?
0
SPEAKER_01
For me, it was...
0
SPEAKER_01
trying to not assign guilt for what happened, you know, at the time.
0
SPEAKER_01
Like, I can t blame the military as a whole.
0
SPEAKER_01
I can t blame, you know, myself because it s out of my control.
0
SPEAKER_01
The only people I could really assign any blame was like superiors or like people that
0
SPEAKER_01
actively harassed and like made life worse for other people.
0
SPEAKER_01
But, but I can t meet or see them again.
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, hell, they were so old, probably half of them are buried.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m not really too sure.
0
SPEAKER_01
So it s kind of like doing peace with an
0
SPEAKER_00
So, so, I mean, let s do this.
0
SPEAKER_00
Let s, let s talk about right now, because you say that you re doing good.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m glad to hear that.
0
SPEAKER_00
What, I mean, what s going on in your life right now?
0
SPEAKER_00
You were saying earlier that you were felt like you were living, like, you know, you were in your fifties.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um,
0
SPEAKER_00
Tell me, well tell me this, what is it, if you can, if you have ideas of it even, what is it that you want out of your life right now that you don t feel like you can attain?
0
SPEAKER_00
Or is there anything even like that?
0
SPEAKER_01
I would say attaining stable housing is like the craziest thing to do nowadays.
0
SPEAKER_01
Like, uh, I can t plant roots nowhere.
0
SPEAKER_01
I can t own chickens nowhere.
0
SPEAKER_01
I can t, like, pursue a life that I would perceive as, like, peaceful and in my control.
0
SPEAKER_01
For the most part, I ve been living half without a storage unit for, like, a year and a half.
0
SPEAKER_00
Where are you calling it from?
0
SPEAKER_00
Is it a storage unit?
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, no, no.
0
SPEAKER_01
I had to move back in with, like,
0
SPEAKER_01
my parents.
0
SPEAKER_01
So that s like another thing that people typically have to do.
0
SPEAKER_01
Sorry, I m pacing a lot.
0
SPEAKER_01
I should get out of the heat.
0
SPEAKER_00
No, it s all good, man.
0
SPEAKER_01
So what I m trying to figure out is like, because it took seven years to fight for like the medical evaluations and the disability and all that stuff.
1
SPEAKER_01
it s practically put me in a hole where it s like, well, now I can t even make money on the side.
1
SPEAKER_01
I can t pursue like a job.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I m just stuck at home or like helping others.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s pretty much it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I can t take money, but it s like not enough to pay for like rentals in my area.
1
SPEAKER_01
So
1
SPEAKER_01
It s kind of like a weird floating gray area where I can survive, but I can t pursue home ownership or higher education, that stuff.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I m stuck at this level where I m just right above the poverty line.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so, uh, so is the government, did they just give you like, here s a big one time check or were they, are they like currently giving you kind of like veterans benefits?
1
SPEAKER_01
It s until I croak.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, so you get, okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
So you get recurring payments from the government from the result of your services.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
And that s enough money for you to survive.
1
SPEAKER_01
yeah okay i m married and it s like i feel like i m not providing enough because i feel like oh i m approaching 30 i should have a house did you say just now that you were met you did you say you re married yeah tell me tell me about your wife she s amazing i wouldn t have gotten
1
SPEAKER_01
Anywhere or fought for myself at all if she didn t like kick me in the ass and say go fight For what s yours, you know?
1
SPEAKER_01
It took seven years Just like back and forth with the system for them to be like, oh, yeah, I remember you I see that you exist so Yes, if she didn t fight for me I
1
SPEAKER_01
None of this would have been happening.
1
SPEAKER_01
I wouldn t be speaking with you straight.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s really lovely man.
1
SPEAKER_00
What how did you guys meet?
1
SPEAKER_00
This is weird Facebook dating.
1
SPEAKER_00
That is weird.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that is very weird Yeah, when they did that it was like we both joined within a week of it like starting and It was just a chance encounter We were both thinking about like deleting our
1
SPEAKER_01
different sites, so it was just like, I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t like to believe in fate because it feels too spiritual to me.
1
SPEAKER_01
But I was like, damn, what are the chances?
1
SPEAKER_01
It s very slim.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, it s it s funny, because even even if you are diagnosed schizophrenic, you are probably one of the more sane people on Facebook dating.
1
SPEAKER_01
Uh, only stay for as long as you need it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Pick one person and then leave all dating sites.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s my advice.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then if that don t pan out, try again.
1
SPEAKER_01
So just don t stay on those sites.
1
SPEAKER_00
People are crazy.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Did you have any like weird encounters?
1
SPEAKER_01
Uh, when I was, uh, more vulnerable post psychosis, a lot of ladies out there kind of brought me over and, uh,
1
SPEAKER_01
used me and then look like ghost.
1
SPEAKER_01
So it s not like use me for food either.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s like, get me drunk or high.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know?
1
SPEAKER_01
So a lot of my relationships were like that.
1
SPEAKER_01
I, there wasn t anything labeled or serious.
1
SPEAKER_01
It was very, it s probably why I m, I m four, four years in this relationship and
1
SPEAKER_01
I still don t know how to, like, perform intimacy.
1
SPEAKER_01
So like, hugging and, you know, properly culling.
1
SPEAKER_01
and stuff like that.
1
SPEAKER_01
So it s a learning process for me.
1
SPEAKER_00
Do you still I know you that there s all these like programs and stuff.
1
SPEAKER_00
But do you still like do you see a therapist like regularly who can help you with these kinds of things?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I have a doctor and I have a psychologist.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s like, go ahead.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s just like process to the level where I m
1
SPEAKER_01
I m not talking to someone every week.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m like talking to someone every two months because they re confident that I have enough control over my life and my medicine to just be stable at this point.
1
SPEAKER_01
Do you feel that way?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I do.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s great.
1
SPEAKER_01
I feel like I m possibly the most sane schizophrenic on the planet.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s a badge of honor.
1
SPEAKER_00
I certainly hope so.
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, that s cool, man.
1
SPEAKER_00
Hell yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I really I really mean it.
1
SPEAKER_00
It is it is cool to, you know, I ve undergone that affliction, but you re still like, you know, for as difficult as it is to deal with, it sounds like you re dealing with it very well.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, a lot of times nobody knows.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s something that I always kind of like,
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t mean to joke around, but I m always like, man, absolutely nobody in this room knows that I had a psychotic episode and actively now I see and hear things that they don t.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s kind of like a thing that I keep to myself.
1
SPEAKER_01
Hmm.
1
SPEAKER_00
And what was I going to say?
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I guess back to like, so you re making enough to, to survive from the government.
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, but you feel like, I guess, and, and forgive me if it s, if, if, if this is just me being ignorant of, of, of the affliction, but like, um,
1
SPEAKER_00
Are you, are you unable, are you unable to get a job because of this?
1
SPEAKER_00
Are you unable to do side things for money?
1
SPEAKER_01
I can t pursue work because, uh, retroactively once I got the VA, uh, stuff done, social security came in and did an evaluation.
1
SPEAKER_01
Basically they said the only job they felt like I could do
1
SPEAKER_01
was making grommets for the next 40 years.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like rubber grommets.
1
SPEAKER_01
Grommets?
1
SPEAKER_01
What s a grommet?
1
SPEAKER_01
It s like a seal that s usually used in like mechanics.
1
SPEAKER_00
Ah, okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
I thought it was that clay... I thought it was that clay dog, you know what I m talking about?
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Of course.
1
SPEAKER_00
Anyway.
1
SPEAKER_01
But, um, yeah, social security basically said, okay, we don t think you can work in this, uh, uh, economy and workforce.
1
SPEAKER_00
Uh, wait, wait, wait.
1
SPEAKER_00
So, so, so like, so, so, so social, so you can fucking go down to McDonald s and put in an application and they run your social security number and they come back and they re like, sorry, the social security says that you re not fit to work.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like, like if I do start working, it would have to be through social security.
1
SPEAKER_01
They have a bunch of programs where agent figures out where I go work.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
But if I do that, then it gets shady because they can start taxing me again and they can start, uh, like shaving off what they pay me.
1
SPEAKER_01
So it just evens out.
1
SPEAKER_01
So if I make like $2,000 from working my job, it would
1
SPEAKER_01
probably just end up being like $1,700 because of Social Security being like, and I ll just take this.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know, you don t get this this month.
1
SPEAKER_01
You made too much.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s a lot of stuff like that.
1
SPEAKER_01
And when you re married and disabled, it s like, oh, the government gets to stick its nose in practically every single thing that I choose to do.
1
SPEAKER_01
I pretty much summed it up to, I should just pursue a life where I hone my land, improve my home and like raise bees and like raise chickens.
1
SPEAKER_00
Does that sound like a good life to you?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it s something they can t tax.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s something they can t say I m doing that.
1
SPEAKER_01
like job over and it s something I feel like I m giving back to the planet, you know, in some way with my life.
1
SPEAKER_00
I like that, man.
1
SPEAKER_00
I really like that.
1
SPEAKER_00
I wanted to actually touch on that real quick because you told me something.
1
SPEAKER_00
You said you can t work all
2
SPEAKER_01
you do is, uh, you said you live with your parents and you, and you help people.
2
SPEAKER_01
You said that.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Tell me, tell me more about that.
2
SPEAKER_00
I try to like branch out to like people that, uh, are kind of like in circumstances that I was in.
2
SPEAKER_00
So like if somebody is struggling with fighting for their much deserved benefits because they served or X, Y,
2
SPEAKER_00
I try my best to get in contact and basically tell them, okay, you gotta be the squeaky wheel.
2
SPEAKER_00
Only the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know, you gotta keep bugging them, even if they tell you no three or four times like they did to me, because that s what they ll do if they feel like they can.
2
SPEAKER_01
Do you know a lot of, do you personally, like, I mean, I don t know if they ever, you know, had to do any group therapy or anything like that, but do you know a lot of other people in similar situations as you?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Uh, in, in the area on that, there s a lot of veterans that don t, don t get help or don t know how to, don t have access to even file for stuff.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s why the vet centers in your local area are pretty important.
2
SPEAKER_00
People need printers and fax machines.
2
SPEAKER_00
To even respond to them.
2
SPEAKER_00
So it s really important to Like support your local Vet Center because you don t know it could have nothing it could be sleeping on cardboard.
2
SPEAKER_01
No documents You know, so it s really what are you doing?
2
SPEAKER_01
I guess What are the steps between you and being able to cultivate?
2
SPEAKER_01
some lands I
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, going through prodromal phase schizophrenia, being prescribed a high dosage of Prozac was like horrible.
2
SPEAKER_00
It put like a heavy damper on my credit score for years because when you re in that kind of mind state, it s like, it was like a haze.
2
SPEAKER_00
I did, because of the,
2
SPEAKER_00
prescription and my brain being funny, I like racked up $100,000 in debt in like three months, three months.
2
SPEAKER_00
How does that happen?
2
SPEAKER_00
Every time I think back, I m like, I have no idea.
2
SPEAKER_00
So that s all paid off to currently, but, uh, and my credit score is better now.
2
SPEAKER_00
But that was probably the biggest damper on fixing all of that.
2
SPEAKER_00
I can t afford a mortgage unless I move to Kentucky.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s what I see.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then the rentals, it s like half of my assets they ask for.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then say, oh, you have to pay the utility.
2
SPEAKER_00
I can t wait to eat $50 worth of groceries for the month.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s the West side of the country in terms of like rental.
2
SPEAKER_00
I feel like there s some sort of malignant monopoly causing everyone to just increase their prices to ludicrous standards.
2
SPEAKER_00
I think they re hoping somebody from out of state who doesn t know any better is going to come in and outbid the price.
2
SPEAKER_00
And they don t know Washington has like heavy mold, leak, termite problems, land erosion.
2
SPEAKER_00
They just don t care.
2
SPEAKER_00
They re going to just turn it all into Seattle eventually.
2
SPEAKER_00
So.
2
SPEAKER_01
Can I ask you a weird question?
2
SPEAKER_01
Maybe this isn t a weird question, but can I ask you a question?
2
SPEAKER_01
What?
2
SPEAKER_01
Go ahead.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I m free and open.
2
SPEAKER_01
Do you do it?
2
SPEAKER_01
What do you do for fun?
2
SPEAKER_00
I like beach crawling.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s if you go to like abandoned areas of like some shoreline near you, you just walk like you have to hike first.
2
SPEAKER_00
But then you walk the beach and you can find some pretty wacky stuff, man.
2
SPEAKER_00
A lot of people keep sea globes, but I m more interested in, like, the stuff where you re like, how far did this have to drift to get here?
2
SPEAKER_00
A lot of the Chinese stuff is kind of crazy to think about.
2
SPEAKER_00
You re like, that had to drift all the way through the Pacific to end up here.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s the stuff that makes me go, wow, you know.
2
SPEAKER_00
Sometimes dolls.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know why dolls end up in the ocean, but sometimes.
2
SPEAKER_01
Do you, have you collected a lot of, uh, different things?
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, do you, do you, do you keep any of this stuff?
2
SPEAKER_00
I keep the ones that I know I can like preserve or keep, keep as is.
2
SPEAKER_01
Is there anything in particular that you ve, that you ve kept that, uh, you, you hold a fondness of that you want to share?
2
SPEAKER_00
A really, really heavy tin ingot.
2
SPEAKER_00
I didn t know it was a tin ingot because it was covered in barnacles, but it s a, like, three pound block of tin covered in barnacles, top to bottom.
2
SPEAKER_00
And they were dead by the time I got to it, but it was a really interesting find to be like, what s under here?
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, a metal bar, you know?
2
SPEAKER_01
Uh, well, listen man, I do gotta say, it s unfortunate that social security is not letting you work because I think you would do a great job as an audiobook reader.
2
SPEAKER_01
I hear that a lot.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you got a good voice for that.
2
SPEAKER_00
Maybe I ll try that sometime.
2
SPEAKER_01
Um, dude, thanks for, uh, sharing all this stuff, John.
2
SPEAKER_01
I hope that it was, it was helpful for you.
2
SPEAKER_01
I actually, I want to do this real quick if you re down with it.
2
SPEAKER_01
I want to see if the chat has any questions for you.
2
SPEAKER_01
Uh, if you re down to answer any, any questions, I ll, I ll, I ll let the chat write some stuff and I ll pick out some, some questions.
2
SPEAKER_00
Um, I m open.
2
SPEAKER_01
Let s see, one person asks, do you think that farts would age in a jar like how whiskey does?
2
SPEAKER_00
Did you say farts would age in a jar?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I didn t, I don t, now that I read it, I don t think that question makes any sense.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_00
I would say if you re really interested, go work for your local septic company.
2
SPEAKER_00
You ll find out.
2
SPEAKER_01
That was a good answer.
2
SPEAKER_01
Someone asked, have you been open with your loved ones about being able to manage your schizophrenia?
2
SPEAKER_00
Kind of.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s hard to express because some family members have a different perspective of what post-psychosis to me was like.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know, I practically had to rebuild my entire self from the age of five back in like a year and a half through medication and like heavy, uh, everyday behavioral health therapy.
2
SPEAKER_00
So some people experienced me while I was practically, mind my language, retarded.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then some, uh,
2
SPEAKER_00
of my family experienced me while I was actively like having reactions to like other kinds of medications.
2
SPEAKER_00
So there was a lot of physical problems.
2
SPEAKER_00
So they know that at this point, I m the healthiest I ve been.
2
SPEAKER_00
But other people have different perspectives of how capable I am.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I would answer that question with that.
2
SPEAKER_00
So it s a kind of mixed bag.
2
SPEAKER_00
My grandma feels like I could regress any day.
2
SPEAKER_00
and other closer friends just know that I m really doing okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
So... Yeah, bro.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think the fact that you re... The fact that you re confidently saying that you re doing okay, you know, today in this moment is very, very good and commendable.
2
SPEAKER_01
Someone asked what your favorite movie was.
2
SPEAKER_01
My favorite movie...
2
SPEAKER_00
I would have to say Eraserhead, just because it s such a unique David Lynch film.
3
SPEAKER_00
Do you watch a lot of David Lynch films?
3
SPEAKER_02
Not recently.
3
SPEAKER_02
After the Monkey one, I kind of was like, he s going places, but I don t know where this is going.
3
SPEAKER_00
Wait, what s the Monkey one?
3
SPEAKER_02
He made a short film a while ago where he voiced a monkey for like the entire film.
3
SPEAKER_02
That sounds kind of cool.
3
SPEAKER_02
His mouth was over the monkey s face.
3
SPEAKER_02
It was a trip, I would say, just out of the blue.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh look, new David Lynch.
3
SPEAKER_02
What s happening?
3
SPEAKER_00
Uh, someone wants to know if you wipe your ass back to front or front to back.
3
SPEAKER_02
You re supposed to go front to back.
3
SPEAKER_02
If you go back to front, you got problems.
3
SPEAKER_02
You probably never get any head.
3
SPEAKER_02
Ever.
3
SPEAKER_02
And you wonder why.
3
SPEAKER_00
Actually, somebody did earlier ask, does John like sloppy?
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t like it because my sexual arousal is completely derived from the partner, so if they re just
3
SPEAKER_02
Not getting anything other than a sore throat, I ma feel bad.
3
SPEAKER_02
I ma feel like it s a waste.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re a sweet guy, John.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re always giving back to the community.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
No handouts, though.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, look, man.
3
SPEAKER_00
Thank you very much for sharing your story with us.
3
SPEAKER_00
Is there any other, I guess... Is there anything else that you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
3
SPEAKER_02
I ll say this.
3
SPEAKER_02
Everybody is deserving of love, and they should always fight for it.
3
SPEAKER_02
No violence.
3
SPEAKER_00
John we appreciate you sharing your story with us, and I said a bunch of times.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ll say it again.
3
SPEAKER_00
I think that the Journey that you ve you ve been on to I like you know I mean you started this call by saying that your life was in shambles But I think the journey that you ve been on as you ve described it to us from having that psychotic break to being in this
3
SPEAKER_00
place where you are right now where it at least sounds to me like you have some optimism for you know good things to come to the future I think that s that s a very commendable thing and I don t think that that should be lost on you so good luck I hope you get this farm one day and thanks for calling man Gek bless you no problem Gek have a good one take care John
3
SPEAKER_00
I wasn t gonna say it, but something about like... I might regret saying this, but whatever.
3
SPEAKER_00
I feel like having schizophrenia and watching a bunch of David Lynch movies sounds like it would be a pretty crazy experience.
3
SPEAKER_00
Hello, Carlos, what s up?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes, sir, how s it going?
3
SPEAKER_00
Tell me what s going on.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna try my best, man.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m, you know, whatever.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, fucking, I ll try my best.
3
SPEAKER_00
What s going on, Carlos?
3
SPEAKER_01
All right, so I ve been married for five years and been with that person for 15.
3
SPEAKER_01
And they ve been unfaithful to me in the past, but not since we ve been married.
3
SPEAKER_01
I ve recently discovered
3
SPEAKER_01
that they are being unfaithful, but they don t know that I know.
3
SPEAKER_01
And they re supposed to go away next weekend to what they say is a friend s trip.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I ve uncovered that they re going to go meet up with the person.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I need to know if I should like go and confront them there and confirm it, or if I should just talk to them now.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, let me ask you this.
3
SPEAKER_00
What do you want to do?
3
SPEAKER_01
I want to go there.
3
SPEAKER_01
Why do you want to go there?
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, because I kind of want to see it with my own eyes.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like they re going to a concert and I want to buy tickets and just like I know what section they re going to be sitting in.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I want to buy one like a little far away enough to like see what s going on and then kind of confront them after the show.
3
SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
3
SPEAKER_00
Are you, I guess, let me, so how did you find out that she is, is going to a concert with this guy and not on this girl s trip?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
So, um, she has a few friends she regularly hangs out with.
3
SPEAKER_01
And one of her friends, when we were, we have kids, so we were at a baseball game when my kids and one of her friends accidentally said something about going to a show.
3
SPEAKER_01
And just the way they looked at each other, like their eyes got big, just kind of put up red flags for me.
3
SPEAKER_01
So there was a time where she left her phone on the bed and it hadn t locked yet.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was from showering.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I went in there and then I saw the whole like message thread and everything between her and that guy.
3
SPEAKER_00
And you guys have two kids?
3
SPEAKER_00
We have three.
3
SPEAKER_00
You have three?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Have you talked to a lawyer?
3
SPEAKER_00
So...
3
SPEAKER_00
Look, I don t, I don t, like, should you go and do a whole dramatic confrontation between her and this guy and rile up the emotions and, and take part in a scene?
3
SPEAKER_00
Um, I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I guess what I, the way that I m thinking about this is like, okay, you have three kids and
3
SPEAKER_00
What s gonna be the best course of action for your kids?
3
SPEAKER_00
And then what s gonna be the best course of action for like you and your own, you know, sanity?
3
SPEAKER_00
And I don t know if the answer to that question is to go and confront them and cause a scene.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if the answer to that question is to leave quietly.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if the answer is to consult a lawyer and see what what he thinks you should you should kind of What sort of ducks you should get in a row before you you take on this?
3
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, I mean I ll say this I m sorry to hear that that s a really tough situation especially after after having kids and and it s a real big bummer because you said she was unfaithful before and Yeah, you know I I commend you for
3
SPEAKER_00
having the the strength and the outlook to to forgive and take another chance, but And it s a bummer when you do that, and you re like well.
3
SPEAKER_00
No it was It was like this all along and so again I m sorry to hear that but I guess man like if if if while we re on the phone right now together I would say like I
3
SPEAKER_00
I guess I just, I wouldn t want you to like go out, like make your next steps in this situation out of pure anger and emotion because you know, look, you don t want to go there and like, you don t want to start, you don t want to get in a fucking fight with this guy.
3
SPEAKER_00
And you don t want to do all that, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
I guess when I was, when I was younger and she, she did cheat on me.
3
SPEAKER_01
I felt a lot like that right now, just because it s been so long.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh man, I m matured so much.
3
SPEAKER_01
I got three kids.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, I want what s best for them.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m not going to be getting into fights or anything, you know, even though I could probably take them.
3
SPEAKER_01
But the thing is, it s like, she s a very good liar, as you can imagine.
3
SPEAKER_01
And my big concern is like, if I don t catch her in the act, you know, and take a picture or something of them kissing or something like that,
3
SPEAKER_01
She s not going to admit it.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then in court, I m not going to be able to say that she committed adultery or anything like that.
3
SPEAKER_01
She s not going to give me her phone.
3
SPEAKER_01
She s not going to obviously allow me to like, I didn t take any screenshots or anything like that in the moment.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m just very disappointed.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I kind of just want this to be over.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I know that if I just confront her, you know what I mean?
3
SPEAKER_01
Like just talk to her about it, just her and I, she s going to deny it.
3
SPEAKER_01
call me crazy or something like that.
3
SPEAKER_01
So that s like a big reason why I want to go there.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like as far as anger, am I upset about it?
3
SPEAKER_01
Absolutely.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like who wouldn t be, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
But not like, oh, I can t believe like, you know, I m going to go beat this guy up or I m going to,
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t feel like that at all.
4
SPEAKER_01
I just don t know if, like, that s too much to just go and try to collect evidence, see it with my own eyes.
4
SPEAKER_01
So, like, when she tries to tell me that I m nuts or that I m making stuff up, that I know I saw it, you know?
4
SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
4
SPEAKER_00
When s the concert?
4
SPEAKER_01
It s gonna be... I mean, look at the count.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think it s gonna be before Memorial Day, the 26th.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s going to be the 26th.
4
SPEAKER_00
The 26th.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then she s spending the night, quote unquote.
4
SPEAKER_01
So there s a hotel involved and all that.
4
SPEAKER_00
Where are you right now?
4
SPEAKER_00
Are you at work?
4
SPEAKER_00
Are you?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I m at home right now.
4
SPEAKER_00
Where s she?
4
SPEAKER_00
She s at work.
4
SPEAKER_00
Where are the kids?
4
SPEAKER_01
They re at school.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Um, yeah, I mean, look, man, first things first, I d consult a lawyer.
4
SPEAKER_00
Um, but I mean, let s talk about this, right?
4
SPEAKER_00
So, you know, what do you, you ve been with her, what, 15 years?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, man, since I was like 17.
4
SPEAKER_00
And okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
So, so what, what would be your plan afterwards, man?
4
SPEAKER_00
Like, I guess, what do you, uh, what do you, what do you anticipate for the future?
4
SPEAKER_00
What do you, what do you, what do you want to happen?
4
SPEAKER_00
I know you re kind of in a, in a state of like processing right now, but you know, let s, let s talk about it for a second if, if you can.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I, um, you know, afterwards, I mean, I see this happening and it s really what I saw on the phone and all that.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like I want a divorce.
4
SPEAKER_01
I want to,
4
SPEAKER_01
um, be in my kids  lives.
4
SPEAKER_01
I want to be an active father.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, you know, just because she s not a good, uh, wife to me, I want to be clear that doesn t make her a bad mom.
4
SPEAKER_01
She s a great mom.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, she s just not a good wife.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I, um, I hope, um, she allows that for me.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, and, uh, like, you know, I ll just keep, I work 60 hours a week.
4
SPEAKER_01
So, you know, do that, see my kids.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, you know, I just want to be successful enough to help raise them and,
4
SPEAKER_01
for them to have a good shot at life, you know?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, man.
4
SPEAKER_00
That rocks.
4
SPEAKER_00
Wait, who s the concert again?
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, I m afraid if I say it, people will know the location.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Actually, that does make sense.
4
SPEAKER_00
Let s not do that.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Actually, that would be really funny if a bunch of people in gecko suits just showed up to her section and her seat.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then she would definitely be like, what the fuck is going on?
4
SPEAKER_01
If I had like more animosity towards her, I probably would.
4
SPEAKER_01
But like I said, I ve, I don t want this to be like a big spectacle.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m just torn between what I should do.
4
SPEAKER_01
Cause like, like I said, she s gonna lie her way out of it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, and I won t have any proof and I won t, I won t have any reason in court at all.
4
SPEAKER_01
to like, you know, just be like me filing for divorce because I don t want to be with her.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s why I mean, that s why I like Michael before.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s why you said she s been spiteful before.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like when I ve caught her in the past prior to being married, I mean, she s she s definitely gone out of her way to try to like hurt me or stop me from having any future with other people.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then things got kind of quiet for a while.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then
4
SPEAKER_01
for lack of a better phrase, like the flame was rekindled and then, um, we got, we got married.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then actually not too long ago, she admitted to me that as messed up as it is that like, she only married me because she wanted to make sure that I was never going to be with anyone else.
4
SPEAKER_01
She couldn t stand the idea of it.
4
SPEAKER_01
So that was, that was a really nice thing to say.
4
SPEAKER_00
Is this the only woman that you ve ever been with?
4
SPEAKER_01
Uh, yeah, like in a relationship.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, when I was younger, like, you know, I ve been with other people on dates and stuff, but not on anything like this at all.
4
SPEAKER_00
And well, I guess, well, another thing is, I mean, I know it s been a really long time, but I hope that you don t, and dude, any, honestly, anything I m going to say, I mean, you sound like a dude with a real, um, healthy mindset about all this stuff already, but like,
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, I guess I hope that this situation, it doesn t like set the framework for how you view relationships.
4
SPEAKER_00
Because that can happen, right?
4
SPEAKER_00
Like especially if you ve been in one relationship for a long time and the person s like fucking nasty to you, then when you go back out and start a date again, like you just expect
4
SPEAKER_00
people to be nasty to you, and it happens, you know, friendships-wise too.
4
SPEAKER_00
So, I guess, like, if you do decide for however long, you know, it takes, whatever, if you do decide to go out and, you know, start seeing other people, like, you know, I hope you, uh...
4
SPEAKER_00
just make sure that you re like setting a new standard for yourself so that you re not like being like, oh, you know, it s, it s so that way, like the next time someone s like, you know, yelling at you or whatever, you re not like, well, this is just how relationships are, you know?
4
SPEAKER_01
Hmm.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
I, um, I guess I haven t thought that far ahead yet.
4
SPEAKER_01
Cause like, I haven t pretty much like the last thing on my mind right now, but, um, that s a good point.
4
SPEAKER_01
I ve never been in that situation.
4
SPEAKER_01
So, um, yeah, that s a good point.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean,
4
SPEAKER_01
I probably can be hard on myself and have some expectations.
4
SPEAKER_00
How old are the kids?
4
SPEAKER_01
They re three and a half, nine, and two.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, listen, man.
4
SPEAKER_00
You re a good dude.
4
SPEAKER_00
You really are.
4
SPEAKER_00
You re a good dude.
4
SPEAKER_00
You got your head on straight.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think, I mean, I m glad that we could talk about this, but I don t think you really needed my advice.
4
SPEAKER_00
If you, look, if you came in hot, and you were like, I m gonna go there, I m gonna beat the fucking shit out of that guy, and all that stuff, like, if you were coming in hot, I d be worried, but you gotta chill, man.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m not worried about you at all.
4
SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, go talk, go talk.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s as far as like, okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s like the final, like the question, like, should you go to the concert and like take pictures of them and stuff?
4
SPEAKER_00
Like, bro, I, I would just, I d talk to a lawyer.
4
SPEAKER_00
I really would.
4
SPEAKER_00
I would like get off the phone with me, talk, go call a divorce lawyer and be like, what do I need in court to make it so that, you know, I m all set when it comes to custody and assets and all that stuff.
4
SPEAKER_00
And, you know, see, see what they have to say.
4
SPEAKER_00
Carlos, I don t- Carlos, I really don t know if I believe in karma.
4
SPEAKER_00
I really don t.
4
SPEAKER_00
I really don t know if I believe, uh, in, like, an external force that, um,
4
SPEAKER_00
makes the that that enforces karma necessarily but i i have optimism just from talking to you that that uh you
4
SPEAKER_00
Things will go good in your life soon enough because you ve been a good integral guy.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I don t know if that s true.
4
SPEAKER_00
You might get run over by a car tomorrow.
4
SPEAKER_00
God s crazy, but I hope it is, God damn it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I hope it is.
4
SPEAKER_00
And if I were in charge of the universe, I d give you $10 million.
4
SPEAKER_01
That d be nice.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think the kids would be well set up with that.
4
SPEAKER_00
Um, Carlos, is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
4
SPEAKER_01
Um... Hey, if someone is cheating on you, at the very least, don t stay in the relationship.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um... Yeah, that s all I gotta say.
4
SPEAKER_00
Take care, Carlos.
4
SPEAKER_00
Thanks for calling.
4
SPEAKER_00
Good luck.
4
SPEAKER_01
Alright, thanks a lot.
4
SPEAKER_00
I fuck with that guy Carlos, man.
4
SPEAKER_00
Carlos is a good guy.
4
SPEAKER_00
I went on a whole rant about karma at the end because I was just like, man, fuck, you know, Carlos is a good guy and he just got fucked, you know, and I hope something good happens to him.
4
SPEAKER_00
I really do.
4
SPEAKER_00
I hope something good happens to him.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yo, that d be great.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, I don t know who the artist is, but what if it s like, like Carlos, uh, fucking contacts Bruce Springsteen and tells him the whole situation.
4
SPEAKER_00
And, and he, he goes on the stage and, and he puts them up on the Jumbotron and he confronts them there.
4
SPEAKER_00
That d be cool.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I don t know how productive that would be, but it d be cool.
4
SPEAKER_01
Hello?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yo, what the heck?
5
SPEAKER_00
What s up?
5
SPEAKER_00
Who is this?
5
SPEAKER_00
Jayden.
5
SPEAKER_00
What s up, Jayden?
5
SPEAKER_00
You can call me Jay though.
5
SPEAKER_00
Jay, Jay, I don t know what you just said.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna call you Jayden.
5
SPEAKER_00
Jayden!
5
SPEAKER_00
What s up?
5
SPEAKER_00
How s it going?
5
SPEAKER_00
How are ya?
5
SPEAKER_00
What d you wanna talk about today?
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh my gosh, yo.
5
SPEAKER_00
Did you see what I texted you?
5
SPEAKER_00
Nope, no idea.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t even know what that means.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, oh.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_01
Um, anyways, I was calling you to talk about, I watched, I listened to your podcast all the time while driving and I listened to one of them recently and it was you talking about like you struggling with like your weight and all that.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And that like, just like hit me like dumb close.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, man, I got to talk to this guy about this.
5
SPEAKER_01
Cause this is like actually some I relate to so hard, man.
5
SPEAKER_00
Sure, sure, sure, sure.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s been like a constant, like, up and down.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I ll, like, I ll really, like, get at it and then just, like, be completely unmotivated to... Yeah, it s just... I m sure you understand what it s like.
5
SPEAKER_01
What does it look like when you re getting at it?
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I constantly, like, trying to, like, diet, watch calories, that sort of thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, do you have a... Well, I...
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, here s just, like, a thing about it I ve been thinking about.
5
SPEAKER_00
I ve been thinking about, like, there s no, um... I used to always- I find myself in this habit, and I ve been doing this my whole life, at least as an adult, where, like, I will fantasize about, uh, a season of my life in the future wherein I have the strength and the capability to get in very good shape, and the time to get in really good shape, and the... you know, whatever.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m always doing that, I m always fantasizing about seasons of my life in the future that I m not weighed down by the emotions and the problems and the constraints that I deal with presently.
5
SPEAKER_00
Right?
5
SPEAKER_00
Because you always want to believe that in the future those emotions and those constraints will go away.
5
SPEAKER_00
But guess what?
5
SPEAKER_00
I ve been doing that for years and years and years and years.
5
SPEAKER_00
And here s the truth about the future.
5
SPEAKER_00
It never comes.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s always the present.
5
SPEAKER_00
So, I ve learned that and I ve gone, well, if I don t get in shape literally right now, not a future version of me that is cool and ripped, but me right fucking now, it s just never gonna happen.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s just gonna always, always, always...
5
SPEAKER_00
be like this.
5
SPEAKER_00
And so, I mean, that s what you got to understand when it comes to doing that.
5
SPEAKER_00
And that is fitness advice from a 200-pound 5 6 man, if that was of any value to you.
5
SPEAKER_00
Because I m also very not
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I go in little waves of it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, uh, I think I decided this.
5
SPEAKER_00
I decided this cause I m traveling a lot with like doing the tour and stuff.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I, I had a period of time earlier this year where I was like, okay, I actually think I can still diet and eat okay.
5
SPEAKER_00
But, uh, I ll get, whenever I m at the airport at five o clock in the morning, um, um, just like I need to eat for some reason.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what it is.
5
SPEAKER_00
What the fuck are you going to eat at the airport?
5
SPEAKER_00
Dude, no, when I m at the airport at five o clock in the morning,
5
SPEAKER_00
First of all, the days are longer.
5
SPEAKER_00
So when it s a short day, when you can wake up at 8 and go to bed at 10, it s easier.
5
SPEAKER_00
The day is shorter.
5
SPEAKER_00
But when you re waking up at 5 and going to bed at midnight, it s just more time awake to eat.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, who cares about that?
5
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, no, I m at the airport at 5 AM eating.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was at the airport at 5 AM.
5
SPEAKER_00
At 5 AM, I had a vanilla coolata.
5
SPEAKER_00
From Dunkin  Donuts.
5
SPEAKER_01
How crazy is that?
5
SPEAKER_01
Dude, the airport Dunkin  is so dangerous.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s so dangerous.
5
SPEAKER_00
So dangerous.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, uh, yeah man, what s your, uh... What s your food of choice for the destruction of your body?
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh my gosh.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yo.
5
SPEAKER_01
Freakin .
5
SPEAKER_01
So I work at Chick-fil-A.
5
SPEAKER_01
So that is like my biggest downfall.
5
SPEAKER_01
Biggest downfall God could have ever given me.
5
SPEAKER_01
Main job working at a fast food place, trying to lose weight.
5
SPEAKER_01
Craziest thing ever.
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you get a lot of, uh, what s your favorite Chick-fil-A item that they give you for free?
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh my gosh.
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, when I m trying not to be, you know, freaking fat, you know, just, uh, you know, if you get a regular sandwich, if I can recommend anything to you, regular sandwich, just a regular Deluxe sandwich.
5
SPEAKER_01
and add bacon and American, and your life will be changed, and you ll frickin  be fat like me.
5
SPEAKER_01
But, when I go on break recently, it s frickin , dude, changes your life.
5
SPEAKER_01
For real, changes your life.
5
SPEAKER_01
But when I m not trying to be frickin  fat, I get just a grilled sandwich, and that s also pretty good.
5
SPEAKER_01
And significantly less calories.
5
SPEAKER_00
The grilled nuggets at Chick-fil-A are actually pretty calorie efficient.
5
SPEAKER_01
Bro, talk about protein intake and, like, low calories.
5
SPEAKER_00
This is the, um, this is the dumbass version of the Huberman podcast.
5
SPEAKER_00
Um, well, anyway, man, I mean, yeah, I mean, don t get the milkshakes.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, dude, our milkshakes are so bad for you, dude.
5
SPEAKER_01
I haven t had one of them in, like, forever, but they are fire.
5
SPEAKER_00
I used to work at a frozen yogurt store, and that was horrible, because it was a frozen yogurt store, but it was also a candy store, and it was a failing business, and nobody would come in, so all there was to do all day was eat frozen yogurt and still candy.
5
SPEAKER_00
At least you got paid to do it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
I, um, I used to work out of this, like, uh, office, and, uh, they had crazy snacks, and I would stream out of the office, and my routine was, like, stream, talk to people on this podcast for two hours, and then afterwards just take a huge fucking dab, and, uh, eat literally, literally, like, 5,000 calories worth of, um, of office snacks and stuff.
5
SPEAKER_00
But anyway, I don t know if any of this is...
5
SPEAKER_00
I m going back to My routine now like my routine on a good day.
5
SPEAKER_00
I ll eat a quest bar and a muscle milk and then I ll have like Some other random fucking sometimes.
5
SPEAKER_00
I ll have a factor meal shout out the factor Yeah, I would Jenny you made me genuinely look into them.
5
SPEAKER_01
I was like I was like oh
5
SPEAKER_01
not to shout them out or anything, but I was like, yo, this is actually a really good option.
5
SPEAKER_01
No, fucking free, free, free promo to Factor.
5
SPEAKER_00
I love Factor.
5
SPEAKER_00
Factor s great.
5
SPEAKER_00
It gets a little tricky for me because I m always like on the road and stuff.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I m not always there to like, be, get the thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
But when I, in the, I had like two months where I was,
5
SPEAKER_00
not on the road and i was doing a lot of factor and it s good it s good shit so i mean that shit chipotle is actually pretty um it s fucking expensive like i ll if you get a chipotle bowl for real so i ll do this i ll get i get a bowl yeah
5
SPEAKER_00
It s so expensive.
5
SPEAKER_00
No, I ll get, literally, I ll get a Chipotle bowl.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s got fucking, um, double meat, get some queso on there, uh, you know, white rice and brown rice, doesn t matter, same amount of calories.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s something like 840 calories, 81 grams of protein, that s a lot of protein, and $20, which is a lot of money to spend on a fucking one meal.
5
SPEAKER_00
But whatever, I guess.
5
SPEAKER_01
Whatever, everything s just money anyways.
5
SPEAKER_00
Protein s expensive, dude.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s why when you get beef jerky, it s crazy expensive.
5
SPEAKER_00
Beef jerky, nuts.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know, I mean the protein bars are fucking expensive.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, anything that is protein-based, you re basically gonna have to sell your firstborn just to have a package.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, meanwhile a Twinkie is like, although Hostess shit, it s super cheap.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s like a dollar.
5
SPEAKER_00
They want us to be fat.
5
SPEAKER_01
They want us to be fat.
5
SPEAKER_00
They want us to be fat, and they re getting what they want as of now, but not forever.
5
SPEAKER_00
Not forever.
5
SPEAKER_00
Nah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Nah.
5
SPEAKER_01
I hope when I come to your show, we re both just like absolutely fucking ripped.
5
SPEAKER_00
When, when, which, literally, which show are you gonna come to?
5
SPEAKER_01
How much time do I have?
5
SPEAKER_01
I really wanna, I put my, I put my number in for the
5
SPEAKER_01
I live in Delaware, so I m like between DC and Philly.
5
SPEAKER_01
They re both like 45 minutes.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yo, I actually alright Those are in September.
5
SPEAKER_00
I might actually be able to get a little ripped by September.
5
SPEAKER_00
All right, you re good
6
SPEAKER_00
Alright, alright, let s do this, let s do this, let s do this.
6
SPEAKER_00
What s your name?
6
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna forget it when I meet you.
6
SPEAKER_00
Jaden.
6
SPEAKER_00
Okay, alright.
6
SPEAKER_00
If you come to either the show in D.C.
6
SPEAKER_00
or Philly and
6
SPEAKER_00
I stand around and meet everyone after the show, so if you stand around and we meet, let me know.
6
SPEAKER_00
It was like, hey, I m the guy who you talked to on the podcast about, you know, we will make, let s make a pact.
6
SPEAKER_00
We ll make a pact.
6
SPEAKER_00
We don t have to get ripped, but.
6
SPEAKER_00
We ll make a pact for it to get about like, you know as Reasonably ripped as you can get from May to September yeah, and I m gonna feel like a piece of shit cuz if usually if you show up and you re like You re like we had a pact right and I m like 10 pounds fatter Nah nah, we go we got this dog for sure got this like I
6
SPEAKER_01
You re also going to be six foot.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m also expecting that.
6
SPEAKER_01
I don t know how you re going to grow that much, but you will.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s true.
6
SPEAKER_00
I do have to also grow 12 inches.
6
SPEAKER_00
No, that s why I grew six inches.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s not bad.
6
SPEAKER_00
I feel like if anyone has one of those medieval torture machine stretchers that I could borrow, that would be cool.
6
SPEAKER_01
Well, I might have to find someone who can trailer one and we can do it at the show.
6
SPEAKER_01
Talk about a segment.
6
SPEAKER_01
Damn.
6
SPEAKER_00
I know.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
No, we should do a segment on the show where me and an audience member try to look smacks.
6
SPEAKER_00
Well, I look forward to that.
6
SPEAKER_00
Uh, Jaden, is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh my gosh.
6
SPEAKER_01
Um, yo, get swole.
6
SPEAKER_01
And if you re fat, just know it s not forever.
6
SPEAKER_01
You can change.
6
SPEAKER_00
If you have, if you have $20 to spend on Chipotle.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, if you can eat Chipotle every day, then you re good.
6
SPEAKER_01
If you can t, Twinkies are like $4 a box.
6
SPEAKER_01
You can live off those.
6
SPEAKER_01
But that s what the government wants.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s what the government wants.
6
SPEAKER_00
Alright, take care, Jaden.
6
SPEAKER_00
Good luck.
6
SPEAKER_00
Try not to eat shitty stuff.
6
SPEAKER_00
I won t.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m gonna do it for you, bro.
6
SPEAKER_01
I ll be, I ll be, I ll be shred when I see you.
6
SPEAKER_00
Don t do it for me.
6
SPEAKER_00
Do it for yourself, Jaden.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s what you gotta learn.