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A new season of Bridgerton is here.
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Guess what, Will?
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What s that, Mango?
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I ve been trying to write a promo for our podcast, Part-Time Genius, but even though we ve done over 250 episodes, we don t really talk about murders or cults.
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I mean, we did just cover the Illuminati of cheese, so I feel like that makes us pretty edgy.
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We also solve mysteries like how Chinese is your Chinese food and how do dollar stores make money?
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Listen to Part-Time Genius on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
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I m very proud of myself for having made it through those moments.
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I didn t know that that was like my body physically telling me something s wrong.
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She s a singer, actress, activist.
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All those superstars.
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Please welcome Becky G. When you start in a career as young as I did, it s very much so like put your head down, get it done, get it done, get it done, get it done.
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And then you like blink and then you re like, oh snap, I m 26.
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Before we jump into this episode, I d like to invite you to join this community to hear more interviews that will help you become happier, healthier, and more healed.
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The best-selling author and host.
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The number one health and wellness podcast.
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty.
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Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world.
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Thanks to each and every one of you who come back every week to become happier, healthier, and more healed.
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You know that our goal here is to only tell stories that are gonna make us feel better, to make us improve ourselves, to make us connect with ourselves in a more authentic and deep way.
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And today s guest is someone that I ve wanted to have on the show for years now, so I m so happy that she s finally in this seat.
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I m talking about multi-platinum, award-winning singer, songwriter, actress, and activist, Becky G, who was born for the spotlight.
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And her multifaceted career has proven Becky to be one of the most influential artists of her generation.
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The 26-year-old global superstar s long list of achievements include four Latin Grammy nominations, four number one hits on the Billboard Latin Airplay charts, and her debut album, Malasante, certified eight times platinum in the United States, platinum in Spain, and gold in Mexico, putting Becky at over 8.9 billion global career streams to date.
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Today, we re talking about her new album, Asquinas.
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Did I say that right?
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Yeah, you did.
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Welcome to the show, Becky G. Becky, what s going on?
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Wow, I felt like I was holding my breath that whole time because I was like, oh, Jay Shetty is totally just giving the whole spiel of my entire career layout.
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And I admire you so much, and I m so happy to be here.
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And the same way you ve been trying to get me to sit in this chair in front of you for so long, I feel like everything just happens for a reason, with purpose, on purpose.
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And I m ready for the Triple H, man.
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I m ready for it.
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I love it.
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Why was now the right time for you personally?
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Earlier you were just mentioning that, you know, you and Radhi bumped into each other last week and you were saying now s the time where you d be looking for the signs, like why is now a good time for you to be talking and sharing?
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Why are you feeling that way?
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I feel like I m in a time in my life where, well, I mean, if we go all the way back to when I was young, I m such an observer.
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I m a little sponge.
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I take in everything around me.
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But especially when you start in a career as young as I did, it s very much so put your head down, get it done, get it done, get it done, get it done, and you just keep going and you keep going.
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And then you like blink and then you re like, oh snap, I m 26.
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Like, look at all the things around me.
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Like, what is this?
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What s actually happening?
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And so there s a little bit of an awakening, I would say, that s happening in this season of my life of a deeper sense of self, a desire to expand.
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And so as I look around and invite these signs, it just, it s beautiful when it s really like affirmed by the universe that like, there s no better time than now.
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Absolutely.
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And what was it that got you started so young?
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Like how and why did that even come about for you?
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Um, I think, well, I love making people smile.
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That s for sure.
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I grew up in a very big family.
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So I m one of four kids.
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I m the eldest.
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And then I have my brother, Frankie, my brother, Alex, and my baby sister, Stephanie.
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And we were just like this dynamic
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four, fantastic four always.
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Like we didn t do anything without each other.
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And I feel like we all just were so different, but we all had this sense of belonging because of how nurturing my mom was about our differences and how, you know, one could like this color, but you can also like a different color.
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And Frankie, you like to play sports, but B, you like to dance.
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And Stephanie, you love to cook.
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And we were just very,
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free to be ourselves at home.
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I felt so lucky to experience that at such a young age, but I felt so misunderstood outside of that space because I realized, wow, like there s a lot of social constructs that don t allow us to really be that true, authentic version of ourself.
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And so I was just like hell bent on making sure that other people felt seen and felt heard and felt loved the same way I got to when I was younger.
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And so, yeah, I think it started with that desire, that desire to make people feel a connection, you know, for me to feel connection with someone else outside of that space as well.
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Absolutely.
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And I feel like we re all
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Everything we all do is wanting to feel connected, right?
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Whether we re crying or whether we re laughing or whether we re reaching out for help or we re reaching out to help, like all of it almost seems to be a cry for connection.
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We re all wanting to feel that.
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And you ve talked a lot about this concept of the 200%, which is what this new album s based on, Your Roots.
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And I love that idea.
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Can you explain it?
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Because
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It s the first time I d heard about it in that way, and I really, really appreciate it.
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Yeah, of course.
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Well, I, okay, so I m Mexican-American.
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I was born and raised here in LA.
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And it s interesting to me how I always like, it was always like the 50-50, you know, you re half this, half that.
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And I didn t like that.
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There was something about that, that never sat well with me.
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And I think it s because it made me feel like in order to be accepted here,
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I have to give up a part of myself.
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And in order to be accepted there, I have to give up a part of myself.
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And in reality, it s like, I am who I am.
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I shouldn t have to give up any of who it is that is my true authentic being to be accepted somewhere, to fit into this space, this shape, right?
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That doesn t feel organic to me.
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That doesn t feel natural to me.
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And it was in little, like, micro, like, experiences.
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Like, even hanging around my cousins who were from Mexico and them telling me I was American.
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And I m like, well, I guess technically, yeah.
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But, like, I don t know.
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When I m in America, they tell me that I m Mexican.
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So which one am I?
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And there s this saying in Spanish, you know, ni de aquí, ni de allá.
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You re not from here.
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You re not from there.
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And then I would respond to that.
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Entonces, ¿dónde me quedo?
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Like, well, in that case, where do I stay?
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Like, where do I belong?
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You know?
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And so it s kind of like rewriting that to say, like, no, sí soy.
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Like, I am.
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I am from here and from there.
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Sí soy de aquí y de allá.
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You know?
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It s kind of what inspired the album, Esquinas, because I am not this side or that side of the streets that raised me.
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I am the corner of two flags, two cultures, two languages.
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And I know I m not the only one, you know, not just within the Latin community even, but I d say, and I have so many friends who, I mean, I don t know about, do you feel like you have a 200% experience sometimes?
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Well, that s why I love the way you put it.
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And even just now, the way you explain that is so beautiful and elegant.
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It really resonates with me.
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I love that idea about not having to be half of this and half of that.
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I actually experience it even more in the roles I ve played in the world.
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And so I often say to people that I m as much
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the monk mindset as I am the manager in my work, as I am the media person, as I am now a married person.
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All of that is me.
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I m not one or the other because I got
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where it s like, well, Jay, you used to be a monk and now you have companies and you re married and you re this and that.
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And I m like, yeah, but the two things can coexist for me as an identity because there s so much from that that I love and relate to.
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And then there s so much from this that I love and relate to.
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And again, with being born in London, but my parents are from, originally from India, but then my mother s from Yemen.
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And so there s so many cross sections in my background.
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And then I m someone who was born and raised in London, but now lives in LA.
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And so there s that intersection.
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And I love the idea of how we can all be so much more than what our passport says, or than what our job title says, or than what our bank balance says, or whatever it may be.
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Like we re all so much more.
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So I think by you saying that, and I love the idea of the street corner.
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Yeah.
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That s that s really cool because that s and all the cool stuff happens on the corner not on either side of the street anyway.
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I mean totally and if you re from LA you know that s where all the best fruit stands are and the best taco stands so um but but I I yeah it s the intersectionality that s what it is exactly what it is it s like where all of these things meet
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all the spaces in between, you know?
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And I think that s, there s so much beauty in it, but I think unfortunately there s, you know, systems that make us think that they re wrong, but in reality, it s just an old programming that doesn t necessarily work anymore.
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And that s okay too, you know?
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And I love
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what you said about letting all the truths exist.
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Because that s something that I think growing up, I felt society tells you you have to think very black and white.
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And I m like, life is in color for a reason.
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We should be seeing life in color.
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There s so much going on around us.
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And I like to think that this vessel I m very thankful for.
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I m very thankful for the vessel that allows me to experience this life.
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but my spirit is so much bigger.
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My soul needs to expand, you know, and the same way we can experience such beauty, we can experience pain.
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And there s all these like opposites of everything.
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And then it s the spaces in between that kind of just tie it all together.
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You know, I love that there s purpose in that.
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How did you go about that journey of giving yourself permission to belong in both?
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It just, it felt like I could only,
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stay in that like uncomfortable position for so long.
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You know, you re sleeping on a plane and you re so tired, like you will fall asleep anyway.
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But then there s like that half hour that goes by where you wake up and you re like, my leg is dead and I can t feel my neck and it hurts.
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And this is not like, this isn t good quality sleep.
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Like I can t wait until I get into my bed.
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And I felt like I would feel that way sometimes.
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Like I could stay here for just a little bit, you know, but it didn t feel very long lasting.
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And I think that there just comes a time where if you allow yourself to, and like you said, give yourself permission to even just explore what could be on the other side, to explore that maybe I don t want to sleep on the plane.
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Maybe I do want to sleep in my bed and I can t right now and that s okay, but I can t wait for the day.
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Or the time that comes and look forward to it.
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And so I would always look forward to the day that I wouldn t be compared to another artist that literally looked nothing like me, spoke nothing like me.
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And I d be like, I don t want to be them.
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I want to be Becky.
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And I was so young already feeling that way growing up in this industry.
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And it was those boxes, man.
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It was those boxes that just like, I knew I could check them.
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I knew I could check those boxes and make other people happy.
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But there came a point, I think, when I decided, honestly, to pursue singing Spanish music was that turning point for me.
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And it was because I was going to be facing my biggest fear, which was, okay, well, I am American and I ve started a professional career singing music in English, but I ve always repped my Latinidad.
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But now me singing in Spanish, I don t know if I ll be accepted there.
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And that was like really scary because the only real point of reference I had was the queen, Selena Quintanilla,
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who, you know, unfortunately is no longer with us.
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And so I just remember being like, there s a scene in the movie where her dad says,
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You have to be more Mexican than the Mexicans and more American than the Americans.
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It s exhausting.
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And he says it like that too.
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It s exhausting.
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And I m like, yeah, your girl s tired, man.
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I m tired.
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Like, I just want to be, I just want to be who I am.
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And the truth is, is like, I think when you lean into the authenticity of just knowing, like, I got to make myself happy.
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And this, this really does make me happy.
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there s gotta be something on the other side of that.
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And little did I know I was gonna be confronted with so many other, you know, obstacles in Latin culture that totally didn t want me to succeed.
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You know, the machismo that exists, the amount of times, you know, the labels will say, you know, girls don t sell tickets, they don t get played on the radio, all kinds of stuff.
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And I like to think, you know, we re here, we re doing it.
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So there must be something right, you know?
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Doing a lot right, I think, doing a lot right.
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Tell me about that fear that you had in terms of like, I ve started my career singing in English, now I m moving over, will I be accepted?
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Yeah.
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And that fear is really displacing too, again, when you re like, I m from here and I m from there as well.
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What was it inside of you that pushed you to say, I m going to do this anyway?
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Like, what was it that gave you the courage and strength?
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Because I can imagine there s so many people who are listening and watching right now,
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who are thinking, I don t want to do that because I don t want to be seen that way, or I don t want to do that because someone s going to put me in a box, or someone s going to push me back.
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We all have these doubts in our own ways.
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What was it that helped you overcome that doubt?
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I think remembering what someone like Selena did for me and understanding that somebody s got to do it.
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And not like, so now I have to.
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It really came from a place of truly desiring and wanting to do that for myself.
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Because I know I deserved that space.
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And the same way I believe I deserve that space, I believe there s so many other talented young women that deserve that space.
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And so, you know, brick by brick.
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And if I only bring one brick to this bridge, that s fine.
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So be it.
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But we need it.
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There s a need for this.
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And I want to be a part of that.
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And I think that was really inspiring for me to be able to like take agency in that way and know that there was a lot of like naysayers that were like not believing, but then also knowing like the same way I was in that nurturing household where I was allowed to be different, like we re gonna keep building spaces like that.
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Like we need that in the systems that are, you know, continuing because they re not sustainable.
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Somebody s gotta shake it up.
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And so, and I remember being a part of like specifically the Latin industry at that time.
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And I think it was my intersectionality that made it kind of less intimidating for me.
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Because I was like, I know what it s like to not be accepted here.
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Like, cause it happened on the other side.
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So there s nothing you can tell me here that I haven t already heard.
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You know?
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It s fascinating, isn t it?
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That when you re young, you re forced to fit in.
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And then as you get older, it s all about how do you stand out.
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Yep.
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And it doesn t make any sense because it s so counterintuitive.
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Your whole life you ve been told, stand in line, do as they do, do as I say, and everyone s told to conform.
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And as you get older, it s like, well, how do you brand yourself?
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How do you market yourself?
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What s unique about you?
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But you ve been told to hide all of your... All of it.
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Uniqueness, right?
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All of it.
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You ve been told to hide all of it.
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So it s almost like we re trying to figure out what that uniqueness is.
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I love your...
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idea about, or the vision that you just painted for all of us of like how we re all just laying another brick on the bridge.
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That s such a beautiful way to think about it.
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And I wonder how instrumental your grandfather was in this whole journey for you.
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I know that this album is
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inspired, dedicated to, and you sadly lost him a few years ago.
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But tell us a bit about why family s been so important to you, but particularly him.
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And I can see you taking it in for those who are not watching.
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Big deep breath.
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Yeah, big deep breath from Becky.
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Yeah, no, I think it s because
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I mean, to understand that we come from something so much bigger than us is so powerful.
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Sometimes overwhelming, I think, for a lot of us mixed ethnicity kids because, you know, we re not just walking into a room with our dreams.
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We re walking into a room with our dreams and then the dreams of the generations before.
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Not just into a room with our own sacrifices, but the sacrifices of those before.
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all of the stuff that you know can feel very heavy sometimes but then those two truths can exist at the same time that i really hear so strongly in in the back of my subconscious which is that
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It can be really heavy, but such an honor.
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And there s a power in that to come from people who have had to make something out of nothing.
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And if they did, you can too.
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My grandfather, Miguel Gomez, que descansa en paz, he is one of the greatest
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than I think I ve ever gotten to know in this life.
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And I feel this way about all my grandparents.
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To have had all four of my grandparents so present in my life and to be a part of the village that raised me, it s such an honor to me.
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And when he passed away and him being my first grandparent that I lose,
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Just that thing that I hold onto is that, although again, his vessel may no longer be with me, that guidance, that honor that it is to carry that superpower with me is just, it s so incredibly motivating and so inspirational.
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And I think there s a lot there that when I look back at it, he was really a big part as to why I started pursuing this.
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Because a lot of my grandparents, I mean, they didn t finish their education.
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They all started working very, very young.
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And that was the social norm in Mexico.
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You know, in Mexico like that, that was part of, you know, part of what it was.
2
SPEAKER_00
You don t finish school.
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You work to help your family.
2
SPEAKER_00
Obviously we live in America and there s such a thing as child labor laws, so it wasn t the same thing for me.
2
SPEAKER_00
But the concept of being nine years old and working to provide for my family and going out in the streets and hustling, it didn t feel like an absolute no to me.
2
SPEAKER_00
It felt like, well, if they did it, I can do it too.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know, and to see everything that my grandparents have built.
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SPEAKER_00
I mean, my grandmother talks about it all the day.
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SPEAKER_00
She says, ay, gracias a Dios por mi pueblito, like her little village.
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SPEAKER_00
She s so thankful to God for her little village that she created, you know, with my grandpa.
2
SPEAKER_00
And it s just like, yeah, like y all really did that.
2
SPEAKER_00
And we re all just this ever growing tree of branches and of those roots, you know?
2
SPEAKER_00
And so, so yeah, he s, he s with me every day.
2
SPEAKER_00
I feel it.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s beautiful.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
And you can kind of see that energy coming through you right now as well.
2
SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s evident that he has a place in your heart that s really deep and special and it must be so powerful to be able to use that to give back and to connect with people.
2
SPEAKER_01
Definitely.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I think it s like,
2
SPEAKER_00
it s their humanness, you know?
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SPEAKER_00
It s seeing their old age, like even seeing like they once could and now they can t physically, but we can, you know?
2
SPEAKER_00
So like, how do we carry that on?
2
SPEAKER_00
It s just, it s so beautiful and so empowering.
2
SPEAKER_00
And so just knowing that even when we re no longer here, like things stay, like there s an energy there that stays.
2
SPEAKER_00
There s something so meaningful and so purposeful to our every,
2
SPEAKER_00
word and interaction shared.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s just like you want to live a life that is
2
SPEAKER_00
of substance, you know?
2
SPEAKER_00
Like, I don t want to just lollygag and just, you know, I mean, maybe every now and then, don t get me wrong.
2
SPEAKER_00
But no, I mean it in the way of just like, even in the simplest of things, just like living in gratitude.
2
SPEAKER_01
Beggy, you grew up in the public eye and you know, you ve grown up in the public eye too.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it s the idea of like- Growing up.
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SPEAKER_00
Growing up, yeah, growing up.
2
SPEAKER_01
Growing up, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Growing up in the public eye, what would you say have been
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SPEAKER_01
the pros of that?
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SPEAKER_01
Like what really great lessons have you kind of taken on?
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SPEAKER_01
And what have been some of the challenges that you re still trying to figure out that you still feel you struggle with sometimes?
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think it s interesting.
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SPEAKER_00
I don t think I saw many of the cons to it as a kid because I was just like, wow, like, this is so cool, a space to just be and be yourself.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then you don t really realize how you re exposing yourself beyond what the average person usually gets exposed to.
2
SPEAKER_00
And it s not just the support, it s also the opposite of what support is, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
People having a thought and a say or an intention that isn t always positive against everything that you do.
2
SPEAKER_00
And it wasn t until you were a teenager and you re getting made fun of for the way you dress or what your teeth look like or having acne or whatever.
2
SPEAKER_00
And you re like, wow, you re really wearing these things.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like you re really wearing it.
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SPEAKER_00
And then, you know, on top of that, you re dealing with, I mean, for me, I was dealing with, you know, the pressures to provide for my family.
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So like, I m really showing up as my best self because there s too much riding on the line.
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It s not just me.
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It s everybody who s walking in the room with me.
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SPEAKER_00
So when you are
2
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kind of put in this place where you feel almost attacked sometimes, or you feel let down.
2
SPEAKER_00
You don t feel as supported as you thought you would.
2
SPEAKER_00
You start to question, like, oh, is this a safe space?
2
SPEAKER_00
Is this what I signed up for?
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SPEAKER_00
Because that s what everybody s telling me.
2
SPEAKER_00
This is what you signed up for.
2
SPEAKER_00
This is what you signed up for.
2
SPEAKER_00
And it s like, as I ve continued to grow up in this space, I think the biggest lesson for me is just like, maybe I m not supposed to be liked by everybody.
2
SPEAKER_00
Maybe that s not the goal.
2
SPEAKER_00
Maybe I m not supposed to be for everyone.
2
SPEAKER_00
Maybe I can be a little bit more sacred with my energy.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know, maybe I don t have to be on social media 24 seven, you know, like maybe I can remember that there s a real world out there with real people and quality connection matters, not the quantity of connections I make.
2
SPEAKER_00
And so I think that like for me going from literal baby Becky, 14 years old, getting discovered on the Internet
2
SPEAKER_00
to the 26 year old that is still figuring out how to practice those boundaries every single day.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s like the biggest takeaway for me.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and that realization that we re not for everyone is really difficult to swallow because I feel like our whole life
2
SPEAKER_01
we ve been trained to kind of be people who make everyone around us happy.
2
SPEAKER_01
We ve been trained to be that way, conditioned, like we make people smile, or you were the peacemaker in your family, or you were the changemaker in your family, or you were the person who kind of
2
SPEAKER_01
you know, communicated individually and mediated with your family, like we ve all played roles.
2
SPEAKER_01
And most of those roles revolve around us being liked or doing things to be liked.
2
SPEAKER_01
And all of a sudden you grow up, and especially if you have a large public platform, and even if you don t have a large public platform, just growing up, you go to work and you have family.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s crazy because I was literally going to interject right there to say you do not have to be someone with a platform like ours to know what this pressure is like today.
2
SPEAKER_01
Agreed.
2
SPEAKER_00
And that actually makes me so fearful for the future generations because we are constantly comparing ourselves to everyone s greatest hits.
2
SPEAKER_00
And that is really, really hard to leave any room, any space for grace.
2
SPEAKER_00
for growth, you know, because there s this fear, this fear of messing up, saying the wrong thing or whatever.
2
SPEAKER_00
And it s just like, that s actually part of learning.
2
SPEAKER_00
We have to leave room to learn.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I think it s also learning that we can be something different.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was thinking about this the other day, and I had a conversation with a really close friend of mine about how it s wild to me that I ve shared so much of my life on the internet since such a young age.
2
SPEAKER_00
And because I shared that my favorite flavor of ice cream seven years ago was chocolate, that someone can come across that today and be like, oh, she s a chocolate ice cream loving girly.
2
SPEAKER_00
And little do they know, I
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t really like ice cream anymore.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like, I don t even have a favorite flavor.
2
SPEAKER_00
I actually prefer frozen yogurt, you know?
2
SPEAKER_00
And there s like seven years, but because someone can come across that, you know, today it can be like, no, that s who she is.
2
SPEAKER_00
And unless it s documented.
2
SPEAKER_00
you can t tell me any different, you know, but it s like, I think it s, it s leaving space that like, I can change my mind.
2
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I could love ice cream tomorrow, who knows, you know, and that s totally possible, but on a deeper level, it s interesting.
2
SPEAKER_00
You were, you were saying something, there s a book that I read called the family on Bradshaw and it really blew my mind about the rigid roles that we play in like family systems.
2
SPEAKER_00
And we find so much purpose in that, but then we, we get so attached
2
SPEAKER_00
to what that role is, to forget that we have to go out into the world and learn more.
2
SPEAKER_00
It terrifies me sometimes when I think about that, because I feel like I ve lived so much life in my 26 years, and I m like, wait, there s more?
2
SPEAKER_00
You re telling me there s more?
2
SPEAKER_00
I should be inspired and excited at that idea, and a part of me is, but then there s another part of me that s absolutely terrified.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I think it s, again, leaving room for those two truths to exist.
2
SPEAKER_00
And usually when it s terrifying, I think it s because it s right for you.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
2
SPEAKER_00
It s supposed to be scary.
2
SPEAKER_00
At least just a little bit to ignite that thing in you that really catches your soul on fire and says, I was made for this.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I m so happy that I did it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
How hard was it for you?
2
SPEAKER_01
You just talked about there where you re like, maybe I want to be someone who experiences the real world.
2
SPEAKER_01
Maybe I do want to switch off from social media, like as a public figure.
2
SPEAKER_01
And even in our friend circles, like I remember when I quit drinking alcohol.
2
SPEAKER_01
And when I went back to my friend group that was used to me drinking alcohol and being a certain person at the party, and now I don t, it was a complete switch.
2
SPEAKER_01
I didn t have a public platform, I wasn t known, but even in my group or my community, it was like, wait a minute, Jay, have you changed?
2
SPEAKER_01
Or when I stopped doing certain things or when I started doing certain things, we all go through these identity deaths.
3
SPEAKER_00
of who we were and who we wanted to be to who we are today.
3
SPEAKER_00
And when you re trying to make a transition, like not being as active on social media, or you re trying to make a transition of, I don t go to those places anymore, whatever it may be, I feel we all go through this moment of identity shifts.
3
SPEAKER_00
And it sounds like you ve had to do that too.
3
SPEAKER_00
What has helped you make those as smooth as they can be, or what has happened when you ve made those shifts and what have you dealt with?
3
SPEAKER_01
I m laughing because Jay, it s so not smooth.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s so rough out here.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s very new for me.
3
SPEAKER_01
It is so new.
3
SPEAKER_01
I have lived more of my life this way than I have practicing, trying something new.
3
SPEAKER_01
But it makes me very proud of myself to know that
3
SPEAKER_01
I can look at myself every day in the mirror and say, I know it s going to be really hard, and it s going to be challenging, and there s going to be things that trigger a response from you, maybe, that is second nature.
3
SPEAKER_01
We are going to take time to process.
3
SPEAKER_01
We re going to add some filters in your process that are better for you.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because there s better ways to deal with things.
3
SPEAKER_01
There s better ways than having to just like promote your pain.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, somebody the other day, it was so funny, somebody the other day mentioned to me like, what s up with all these young kids posting videos of themselves crying on the internet?
3
SPEAKER_01
And I said, first of all, that s really mean because little do you know, maybe they re singing for connection.
3
SPEAKER_01
And second of all, I ve totally done that.
3
SPEAKER_01
Damn it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m guilty.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m so guilty of it.
3
SPEAKER_01
But are there times where I wish I didn t?
3
SPEAKER_01
Absolutely.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because maybe not everybody needed to see that.
3
SPEAKER_01
I wanted to be seen so badly, but who am I seeking that from?
3
SPEAKER_01
Why am I seeking that from?
3
SPEAKER_01
the world when maybe it s really within myself.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so that daily practice for me is still very new, but it s doing things differently.
3
SPEAKER_01
Willing to, what s that saying?
3
SPEAKER_01
You gotta be willing to do something you ve never done in order to get the result you ve never had.
3
SPEAKER_01
Right?
3
SPEAKER_01
And so if I want to be the healthiest version of myself, I have to be willing to look at my daily routines, mentally, the mental routines that I have, the spiritual routines that I have, the physical routines that I have, and really just be honest with myself.
3
SPEAKER_01
And am I setting myself up for success?
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, and there s been hard times, like people very close to me would be like, B, we had this conversation.
3
SPEAKER_01
We ve had this conversation.
3
SPEAKER_01
And they very lovingly hold space for me to come back around and be like, you re right.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you re so right.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, but it s like just understanding that we are constantly always in process.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, let s walk through some of those actually, because we love doing that on On Purpose.
3
SPEAKER_00
You mentioned mental, spiritual and physical routines.
3
SPEAKER_00
Let s talk about some of the, let s start with the mental routines.
3
SPEAKER_00
What are some daily routines or habits or practices that you ve been working on?
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so shout out to my therapist because she taught me the three-legged table.
3
SPEAKER_00
Shout out to all therapists.
3
SPEAKER_00
I love therapists.
3
SPEAKER_00
Me too.
3
SPEAKER_01
They re dope.
3
SPEAKER_01
They keep it real, that s for sure.
3
SPEAKER_01
But the three-legged table is the mind, body, soul.
3
SPEAKER_01
And if it s a table that needs to work, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
It needs to hold things on top of it.
3
SPEAKER_01
If one of the tables is a little wobbly or one of the tables, the legs break, it can t fulfill its purpose, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
What it s intended for.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so I am very much so a mind, body, soul kind of person.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I think for me, if we re starting with the mind, just like not being on my phone the first moments that I wake up in the morning, I didn t realize like how second nature was.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like even just having like a separate alarm clock outside of my phone.
3
SPEAKER_01
Very new for me.
3
SPEAKER_01
Actually just started practicing that.
3
SPEAKER_01
I do a social media detox once a month.
3
SPEAKER_01
So like there s, I ll literally delete the apps from my phone completely.
3
SPEAKER_01
And it s the best.
3
SPEAKER_00
For how long?
3
SPEAKER_01
For how long?
3
SPEAKER_01
I do at least seven days.
3
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_00
Every month?
3
SPEAKER_01
Consistently.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s so cool.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Also very new, but it s working.
3
SPEAKER_01
Highly recommend.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I don t say these things to like knock anybody, because there s some people I know that can like very much so be on these platforms and like are so unfazed by it.
3
SPEAKER_01
And it s great for them.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I love that for them, but I know myself and I m very, very sensitive.
3
SPEAKER_01
So.
3
SPEAKER_01
Kind of just practicing those things has been super helpful for me on the mental side.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then I would say on the spiritual side, meditating has done so much for me, like meditation and prayer.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think just believing and having faith in something that is greater than you is always helpful.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, I think it s really hard to trust something that you can t see, that you can t physically feel or touch.
3
SPEAKER_01
But there s also something very magical when you tap into that.
3
SPEAKER_01
And there s been moments where my day will be so crazy.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I, you know, this is constantly trying to find time.
3
SPEAKER_01
How do we reset the mind?
3
SPEAKER_01
How do we reprogram?
3
SPEAKER_01
And I just think to myself, even after 10 minutes of meditation, there s another version of me on the other side of that, that will be so much better.
3
SPEAKER_01
So much capable.
3
SPEAKER_01
What part of me can t give myself 10 minutes today?
3
SPEAKER_01
So like that, that spiritual like tap in and like recentering for me is special sauce.
3
SPEAKER_00
And what type of meditation is that for you?
3
SPEAKER_00
What practice?
3
SPEAKER_01
Guided meditation still for me, because we ve got a lot of thoughts these days, you know, and it s hard to silence them, but it s sometimes twice a day.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, I try to do it twice a day, definitely in the morning or sometimes when I m in the sauna, like post-workout, to kind of just really be in my body.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then at night, and I also do, do you know Wim Hof?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, of course, I love Wim.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, love it.
3
SPEAKER_00
We ve had Wim on the show.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God, another person I would like absolutely geek out to meet.
3
SPEAKER_01
But honestly, that whole routine for me, even like before shows, just really relaxes the nervous system.
3
SPEAKER_01
On that breath hold, there s like a spiritual feeling that I have.
3
SPEAKER_01
And sometimes I ll play like frequency during, and it just like, there s moments where I m like, oh my God, I m totally coming out of my body right now.
3
SPEAKER_01
And this is so nice.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
And what about prayer?
3
SPEAKER_00
You mentioned prayer there.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Prayer is super important.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s funny.
3
SPEAKER_01
I grew up in a very religious household.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m very Mexican in that sense.
3
SPEAKER_01
My grandmothers are very Catholic and I m much more spiritual than religious, I d say, but I think seeing them in their dedication, seeing them in their practice was like very inspiring to me when I was younger.
3
SPEAKER_01
And also the communal aspect of it too.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like getting to pray with my grandmothers growing up is something very sacred to me.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I just think that, yeah, when I pray and I surrender, like, let go and let God is like, I literally have it tattooed because it s important to know that you can t control everything.
3
SPEAKER_01
You just can t.
3
SPEAKER_01
You can control what you do, how you react to what s going on around you, but you can t actually control everything that s happening around you.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I struggle with that on a daily basis.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well said.
3
SPEAKER_00
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3
SPEAKER_00
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3
SPEAKER_00
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SPEAKER_00
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SPEAKER_00
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3
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3
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3
SPEAKER_00
That s drinkjuni.com and make sure you use the code ONPURPOSE.
3
SPEAKER_00
Those are beautiful routines.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s mental and spiritual.
3
SPEAKER_00
What about physical?
3
SPEAKER_01
There s not a version of me before this, this I d say age that would say, I love being in the gym.
3
SPEAKER_01
I love working out so much to the point where I m like, maybe I should prioritize sleep a little bit more than the gym, but good sleep, good diet.
3
SPEAKER_01
gym, like feeling strong physically and knowing that I m taking care of my body.
3
SPEAKER_01
Again, like the, the vessel needs to be safe and it needs to be protected and provided for.
3
SPEAKER_01
And, and so I try my absolute best.
3
SPEAKER_01
But even in that sense, it s like, you know, not that my indulgent self takes over, but like enjoying the little things in life, like the balance, you know, like I love food.
3
SPEAKER_01
So the balance of that is like, you go burn it off in the gym, girl, and you ll be just fine.
3
SPEAKER_00
I love that.
3
SPEAKER_00
No, and it s so beautiful that you re thinking about your life as those three legs to the table or the stool and you re
4
SPEAKER_00
in your life, because it is so interesting to me about how as soon as you take your eye off of one of them, how much harder everything else becomes.
4
SPEAKER_00
And yet when those three things are good, like you said, they can carry the weight, even if it s getting really, really heavy, you still have a fighting chance almost.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I guess the thing that
4
SPEAKER_00
I found that has really helped me in that regard as well is making sure that I m not trying to solve all three at the same time.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s almost like one at a time.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like I remember I always had my spiritual practice and then I added my mental practice and then I added my physical practice.
4
SPEAKER_00
And for me, that order
4
SPEAKER_00
worked really well, whereas when you re trying to solve all three at the same time, then two, it s almost like saying if you re putting a table together using your analogy, you can t put all three legs on at the same time.
4
SPEAKER_00
It just doesn t work that way.
4
SPEAKER_00
You ve got to put one in properly, then the other one, and then the other one.
4
SPEAKER_00
I want to go back to something you said earlier.
4
SPEAKER_00
You talked about the need for quality connections instead of quantity connections.
4
SPEAKER_00
What is Becky G s definition of a quality connection?
4
SPEAKER_00
How do you view a quality connection?
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, I think it s when I feel safe in a room to be my true authentic self.
4
SPEAKER_01
And there s ways that my body used to tell me that this isn t authentic.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like there s something about this that doesn t feel right.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I would stay in the room because you re scared of how that might come off.
4
SPEAKER_01
Or again, the people-pleasing tendencies totally start to come through, right?
4
SPEAKER_01
I m a performer by nature at this point because I ve been doing this for longer than I ve ever not been doing it.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I think it was just really understanding, man, like it feels really good when I can just show up and be me.
4
SPEAKER_01
And when I m trying to be my authentic self, sometimes there s a little fumbling that happens.
4
SPEAKER_01
Or just sometimes it flows.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like right now, this feels like a quality connection.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s just flowing.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m not really thinking about what could be said or what could be felt and how that might come off.
4
SPEAKER_01
And that feels to me, again, signed from the universe and really affirms that I m exactly where I m supposed to be.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so when I have those feelings that feel very affirmed in a moment, that is quality connection.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it might be with a stranger.
4
SPEAKER_01
There s been times where like, I mean, man, I ll be at the airport sometimes just killing time because I m totally like my grandparents.
4
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I don t want to be late for a flight or something.
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And I m just talking to like the person behind the bar and just like, how s your day today?
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And I walk away like, oh my God, Johnny was so sweet.
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I want to go to his mom s pizza shop.
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Like next time I m in the city, I m coming.
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Because there s like a true connection that s being made.
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And I think what we celebrate today is like followers, like how many followers you have, how many numbers you have streaming this.
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And it s like,
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that I think is amazing when you re thinking from a business aspect, but even then truly like people want to support something that is real.
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I want to support something that is real, whether it be in my friendships, whether it be with my family, with my team, with my fans.
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And so, uh, yeah, I d say that s what it is.
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It s like that authenticity.
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I could feel it.
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Yeah.
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And it s really interesting, right?
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You said that we almost all have a inner
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compass or an inner dial that tells us whether something feels authentic and aligned or it doesn t, but we tend to ignore it sometimes because of our people pleasing tendencies or whatever it may have been.
4
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When is the time in your life where you feel like you ve ignored it and it s misled you or it s led you away from feeling how you feel now, where you feel safe in yourself?
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Yeah, I definitely feel so reflective on certain career moments where it was very easy for me to let other people make decisions for me.
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And then when it wouldn t work, be like, oh, I should have said something, you know?
4
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Oh, why didn t I say?
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Oh, but there wasn t enough time.
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There just wasn t enough time.
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And realizing like, man, I spent some key pivotal moments in my career
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feeling like I was being far more reactive to what was happening than proactive and setting myself up to fully be present.
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And I look back at it and I m like, I m very proud of myself for having made it through those moments.
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But there was moments where, and this is even deeper on the experiences I used to have with anxiety and panic attacks, I didn t know that that was my body physically telling me something s wrong.
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Like you re not okay But because you re scared to let other people down you re scared of what other people might say you push through anyways and I realize like just because you can doesn t mean you should
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And I think that that s one of my most valuable lessons, for sure.
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Because there was, I mean, many moments before going onto a stage and, I mean, we re talking full-blown tears, can t breathe.
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If you ve had a panic attack, you know the world is ending.
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And there s also this subconscious part of you that s like, girl, breathe.
4
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Just breathe.
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You know what this is.
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But your nervous system can t tell the difference between the mental bear and the real bear that s in the room.
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And there s no bears in the room.
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So chillax.
4
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It s OK.
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Yeah, just being really young and in really high stress situations.
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You know, you re everybody s boss, but technically everybody s older than you.
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And it s just such an interesting dynamic to have grown up in.
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And so I think that that has been the most valuable lesson for me up until this point, you know, just like, yeah, just because you can doesn t mean you should.
4
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Yeah, that s good advice.
4
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Well said.
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When you were talking about people pleasing there, and that naturally happens in environments where, like you said, even though you re the boss, everyone s older than you, it s natural to want to please our elders in the same way as we try to please our parents and our family.
4
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And I know you ve worked a lot on therapy, and that s an area of your life you ve invested in deeply.
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how is therapy or what work have you done in therapy that s helped you identify your people-pleasing tendencies and allowed you to start reframing and reshaping them?
4
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Because I think so many of us often work so hard at pleasing people that we end up displeasing and disconnecting from ourselves.
4
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And we don t realize that in the attempt to make someone else happy,
4
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we re making ourselves more unhappy and miserable.
4
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And the other person s not happy either because they can tell that it s not coming from an authentic, genuine place.
4
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It s just coming from a place of like, I don t want to cause any trouble.
4
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So what s some of the work that you ve done or what s some of the lessons that you ve been able to illuminate about your triggers and where they come from and reframing how to move away from people, please?
4
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Yeah, well, like I said, it s definitely like a daily practice for me, but I think a lot of the first, I would say like the first two years of therapy for me were very reactive to what was happening in real time.
4
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I wasn t really comfortable with the idea of shining a spotlight on what the root cause of anything was.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, it was very ambiguous in the sense of like, it s got to be this, this, this, because this happened.
4
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And so going back to like the reactiveness of the first two years for me is funny because yeah, there was a lot of small fires that I had to put out in that moment.
4
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It was a very high stress time in my career, in my personal life when I had first started therapy.
4
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But I think when I really surrendered to the fact that this goes so much deeper than just what s happening around me, but it s like how I exist.
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in all of it.
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Like that is when I was like, oh yeah, this goes a lot deeper.
4
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And a lot of it is, you know, childhood stuff.
4
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And when I think about, you know, a big part of my childhood was also shared in an industry that, you know, my parents were very, very young.
4
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They knew nothing about it, like quite literally.
4
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And even then, I like to think I came out kind of okay, but
4
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You know, like they couldn t really protect me from much when it came to that stuff.
4
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And then the fact that they were young parents when they got married and had children, like they were babies raising babies.
4
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And so there was a lot of things I had to like learn for myself and teach for myself.
4
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And so I think having a lot more empathy for myself was like a big step in therapy because it was hard for me to accept the fact that I went without things.
4
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Like, what do you mean?
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But we tried our best.
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But we did what we had to do.
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I did what I had to do.
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There was just so much resistance to the fact that I still didn t get what I really needed.
4
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And so I think when you can just come from that space of empathy and compassion for yourself that, like, everybody really was trying.
4
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You really were trying.
4
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And it still came out a little short, but hey, it s not too late.
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Like you can still learn.
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You can still learn, you know?
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And that was like, I would say the third year of therapy.
4
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And that s crazy because you re right.
4
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It s an investment.
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And even then, I mean, some of the types of work that I do, you know, I think when you take inventory,
4
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your life you know like really taking inventory on what your relationships with the people around you in your life look like and felt like from the moment you were born till this current day inventory on memories you know experiences that you ve had
5
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and your recollections of them.
5
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And then also kind of revisiting those with those people and being like, Hey, what was your experience like in this?
5
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You know, it s the trippiest thing for me and my siblings.
5
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Cause I m like, we that has had the same parents grew up with the same four walls around us.
5
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And we re all so different.
5
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And we all process so different, right?
5
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So going back to an even, the deeper level of compassion and empathy, holding space for each other in that way.
5
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So beautiful.
5
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We didn t get to really doing that until we went into family therapy together.
5
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So thankful for the resource and opportunity to do that.
5
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Cause there s, there s a lot of times where I m like, man, like we, things could have gone one or another way.
5
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we kept choosing, you know, family.
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And we got to a point where like choosing family, this ride or die mentality of like, oh, you know, it s like, why do we have to ride or die?
5
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Why can t we just be, you know, like nobody s going to ask that question.
5
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And I was the big sister who was like, you know, parentified.
5
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So I was like, I m their parent, they re my, and they re like, we just want you to be our big sister.
5
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We don t need you to be our mom or our dad.
5
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And I m like, what do you mean I have to be?
5
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It was like all those rigid roles and stuff.
5
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So taking inventory was super helpful for me.
5
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Gave me so much perspective.
5
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And then recently I started doing like parts work, which we re talking about all the parts, you know, like, Oh, there s a part of me that s still a child.
5
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I m still freaking afraid of the dark.
5
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I, the amount of times I travel and I m alone in my hotel room and I m like, I m going to sleep with the TV on just so it feels like somebody s here.
5
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Cause it s a little scary in here.
5
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That s a part of me, you know, that s a part of me that s still trying to figure things out, still feels a little lonely, still feels a little lost.
5
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There s the boss part of me that feels super empowered and feels like such a visionary over the career that I ve built for myself and excited to like continue to attack these like parts of the industry that
5
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quite literally need to just be broken down, you know?
5
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So more of me can get in there.
5
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When I say more of me, I mean other powerful women who have, you know, so much talent and so much just to offer in these spaces.
5
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Yeah, it s beautiful.
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I love the parts work.
5
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Yeah.
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No, and it s so beautiful to hear someone talk about it so thoroughly and thoughtfully.
5
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And I think when you can articulate something effectively, it means you re more likely to be able to process it up here.
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Yeah.
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The feeling part though, that s the other part.
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Cause I really, I learned this from myself.
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It s like, Becky, you re really good at intellectualizing your feelings, but do you feel them?
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Cue the tears.
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Like I on purpose sometimes have to like get myself to that space to release.
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Cause the body keeps
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Count the body keeps score of all of what you go through so you can be like, yeah, I was really stressed I was really if you don t allow your body to feel it somatically Like that s the other thing that for me I think I find myself like that s was the manifestation of the panic attacks and things like that like oh Right anxiety depression.
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They re not the diagnosis.
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They re the result of oh
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That was like, whoa, big knowledge for me.
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Cause I was like, oh yeah, I just have anxiety and depression.
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It s normal.
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Like I just have panic attacks all the time.
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Like, no, your body is telling you something.
5
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You are processing something that you aren t letting your body feel, you know?
5
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It s again, a hard reality because allowing yourself to feel it again is, it s almost goes back to that giving permission, like just giving ourselves permission to feel, giving ourselves permission to process something, giving ourselves permission to allow for this paradox to exist.
5
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When was the last time you cried?
5
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This morning.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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That s why I m not crying right now.
5
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No, truly, truthfully speaking, it was this morning.
5
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It s such a stressful time, you know, and it s a it s a time where I feel like in my career.
5
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It s funny to me.
5
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I m like, I can walk off a stage and feel like, oh, I want to do that all over again.
5
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And then leading up to a performance, I m like, why do I do this to myself?
5
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This is torturous.
5
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And I know.
5
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But I like to think
5
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that I always regret not working out.
5
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I never regret the workout.
5
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And so I try to think about that way in my life.
5
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Like, oh, I got to do hard things.
5
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I was designed to do hard things, you know.
5
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But even then, acknowledging that it s hard is super important.
5
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because then you can have that compassion and empathy for yourself.
5
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But if you don t acknowledge that, it can be very challenging.
5
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You re not going to leave any room for that compassion and that empathy that you need to have for yourself in order to do those hard things.
5
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And so, yeah, your girl was crying.
5
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It was a full moon.
5
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It was it was all kinds of things, but it was good.
5
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It was a good cry.
5
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Like it s not always like a sad cry.
5
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Sometimes it s like a release, like a sense of relief, you know?
5
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Yeah.
5
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It s really interesting that if someone s natural reaction to something was to laugh, we d see that as normal.
5
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But when someone s natural reaction to something is to cry, we see that as wrong.
5
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Or it s like, stop crying, everything will be okay.
5
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We d never say to someone, stop laughing, everything will be okay, right?
5
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Or everything is okay.
5
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Like, it s really interesting to me which emotions we allow for in society and which emotions we try and block.
5
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others and ourselves from having.
5
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And I find that the more we try and stop others from having a certain emotion, it s usually because we block that in ourself for a long, long time.
5
SPEAKER_06
And I love that you cried this morning and that that was a release for you and it was helpful for you and it s powerful.
5
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Yeah, I think it s, and I m so glad you shared that with us today as well, because at the moment we re experiencing a really vibrant, abundant, with your frequency.
5
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And the interesting thing is,
5
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When you were crying, you were still vibrant and abundant.
5
SPEAKER_06
Like we shouldn t see that as not that.
5
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Right.
5
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Just because it looks different.
5
SPEAKER_00
Hey, everyone, this is Molly and Matt, and we re the hosts of Grown Up Stuff, How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.
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SPEAKER_03
It s a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting.
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SPEAKER_00
like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.
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SPEAKER_03
We re back with season two of the podcast, which means more opportunities to glow up and become a more responsible and better adult, one life lesson at a time.
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SPEAKER_00
And let me just tell you, this show is just as much for us as it is for you.
5
SPEAKER_00
So let s figure this stuff out together.
5
SPEAKER_00
This season, we re going to talk about whether or not we re financially and emotionally ready for dog ownership.
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SPEAKER_03
We re going to figure out the benefits of a high yield savings account.
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SPEAKER_00
And what exactly are the duties of being a member of the wedding party?
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SPEAKER_03
All that plus so much more.
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SPEAKER_00
Let s learn about all of it and then some.
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SPEAKER_00
Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Guess what, Mango?
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SPEAKER_05
What s that, Will?
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SPEAKER_05
So iHeart is giving us a whole minute to promote our podcast, Part-Time Genius.
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I know, that s why I spent my whole week composing a haiku for the occasion.
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It s about my emotional journey in podcasting over the last seven years, and it s called Earthquake House.
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Yeah, that s a better idea.
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So every week on Part-Time Genius, we feed our curiosity by answering the world s most important questions.
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SPEAKER_04
Things like, when did America start dialing 911?
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is William Shatner s best acting work in Esperanto.
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Also, what happened to Esperanto?
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Plus, we cover questions like how Chinese is your Chinese food?
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And of course, is there an Illuminati of cheese?
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There absolutely is.
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And we are risking our lives by talking about it.
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But if you love mind blowing facts, incredible history and really bad jokes, make your brains happy and tune in to Part Time Genius.
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Listen to Part Time Genius on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
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When the Taliban banned music in Afghanistan, millions were plunged into silence.
5
SPEAKER_02
Radios were smashed, cassettes burned.
5
SPEAKER_02
You could be beaten or jailed or killed for breaking the rules.
5
SPEAKER_02
And yet, Afghans did it anyway.
5
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This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.
5
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The danger they endured.
5
SPEAKER_04
They said my head should be cut off.
5
SPEAKER_02
The joy they brought to the nation.
5
SPEAKER_00
You re free completely.
5
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No one is there to destroy you.
5
SPEAKER_02
I m John Legend.
5
SPEAKER_02
Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, definitely.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I think it s like, it goes back to like those core, those core emotions, you know, really understanding, like, again, what are the symptoms of those core emotions?
5
SPEAKER_01
And when I m feeling this anxiety, when I m feeling, is it coming from a place of fear?
5
SPEAKER_01
And do I just need to talk about it?
5
SPEAKER_01
Or am I experiencing such great joy that my body really doesn t know how to receive this right now?
5
SPEAKER_01
You know, or am I experiencing both?
5
SPEAKER_01
Because there s two things going on at the same time.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I think it s doing that, that check in with yourself, that s super important, making time for it.
5
SPEAKER_01
you know like i genuinely made time to cry today and i m very proud that i did that because i would be crying right now which would have been
6
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and totally fine as well.
6
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But I think it s also such a, it s such a sacred practice for me, not crying, but just checking in with myself, that to be able to know how to do that and support myself in that way, instead of seeking it, again, in a space of validation when it feels too late and more reactive, or from people who maybe don t know how to do that for me, it feels empowering to know, oh, I got me.
6
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I always got me, you know?
6
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I mean, if we could all just feel like I ve always got me.
6
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And we don t all the time.
6
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Like I said, it s a, it s a, it s a daily practice to make that effort.
6
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And even then I fall short, you know, I ve fallen short even for friends and family members of mine.
6
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And I think that s, that s when our human really shows, you know, like there s that window of tolerance and we can try to expand it as much as possible, but there s, it s still a window, you know, like it s still a window and some days it s this big and some days it can be this big.
6
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And so it s just like acknowledging and then expressing that too.
6
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Just letting everybody know, hey, my window s really small today.
6
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It s Becky size.
6
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Or sometimes it s just like, yo, my window s big.
6
SPEAKER_00
We could fit a whole house through that thing.
6
SPEAKER_00
You know, everybody bring, come on in.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s nice to just be able to vibe check like that.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and that s that daily, as you use the word inventory, that daily check in of like, where am I at?
6
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How am I feeling?
6
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What can I offer?
6
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Is today a internal day or an external day?
6
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Like I do that all the time too.
6
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There are certain days where I can literally be there for anyone and everyone and I am this
6
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outward person and then there are days where I just want to be alone and be in silence and stillness and being able to accept that they re both one and the same thing.
6
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Yes.
6
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That one is not a better expression of me and one is not a worse expression of me.
6
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I think we still live in this world of what s right and wrong and better or worse.
6
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Good or bad.
6
SPEAKER_00
I can t.
6
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That s what I mean about the black and white thinking that I was talking about earlier.
6
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And, uh, what s that story?
6
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There s a story about the man.
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Uh, and he says, well, we ll just have to wait and see, basically.
6
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Um, I m totally.
6
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Yes.
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He s like a father and his son and this thing happens and they re like, oh, I m so sorry.
6
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And he s like, well, we ll see, you know, we ll see.
6
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And it actually, you know, there s so many things that you think are a bad thing, right?
6
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Quote unquote, bad thing that are happening, but in reality, it s a good thing.
6
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And then maybe it turns out to not be a good thing and you just never know, you know, but I like to think that everything happens for you, not to you.
6
SPEAKER_00
That is my mojo these days.
6
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Everything is happening for me, not to me.
6
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And it s interesting how the way you exist in those spaces will actually shift because you realize, oh, this is in my favor.
6
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I m supposed to learn something from this.
6
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I m supposed to gain something from this.
6
SPEAKER_00
And that s why the whole concept of failure and success, like navigating this industry since such a young age, there s songs of mine that I love, that I thought deserve to be the number one song.
6
SPEAKER_00
And they re probably like the lowest streaming, whatever, you know, but it s like, what it means to me is a win.
6
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Like that is a success to me.
6
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That s not a failure, you know?
6
SPEAKER_00
And so it s like redefining what, what success means to you, redefining what greatness is.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s redefining what all of
6
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the stuff that life has to offer and saying, no, this is happening for me, not to me, for me.
6
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And I just think it s so, yeah.
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Yeah, for anyone who s wondering, the story that Becky was referring to, which she just encapsulated at that point, it s a beautiful Zen story about a man and his son, and the man buys his son a horse.
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Well, actually, his son finds a horse, I believe, and comes home riding this beautiful horse.
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And all the villagers are like, wow, this is amazing.
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Like, he s just so incredible that he could tame this wild horse, and now he s riding it, and look how elegant it is.
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And the father says, good thing, bad thing, who knows?
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Or maybe let s see.
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And then the next thing that happens is that the son s riding the horse and then he gets thrown off the horse.
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And when he gets thrown off the horse, his leg gets fractured and he has to have an operation and surgery and whatever else.
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And everyone in the village is like, oh my God, this is the worst thing that s ever happened.
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Oh no, oh no, oh no.
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And the man says,
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Good thing, bad thing, who knows, or maybe let s see.
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And then after that, they come and recruit everyone in the village to join the army because they ve got to defend themselves.
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But this guy can t go, and everyone s like, you re so lucky your son s not going because his leg s broken.
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All of our sons have gone.
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We re going to miss them.
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And the man says, good thing, bad thing, who knows, or maybe let s see.
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And it continues that way.
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And it s really hard in the moment to live that way because our mind has been trained in that good and bad.
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When something bad is happening, it feels like nothing good can come from it.
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And the interesting thing is when something good happens, we re also equally convinced nothing bad can come from this.
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And the truth is those two moments can switch so quickly.
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And I ve been at the intersection of both of them in my life.
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And I ve just found that not seeing things as good or bad, but seeing them as just learning and lessons and healing and growth.
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And what you just said, which is that it s all about what s happening for us.
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If we can just live in that way, it s better than the dichotomy of good and bad, positive and negative.
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Oh, Jay Shetty, ladies and gentlemen.
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I just, yeah.
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Yeah.
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I mean, you definitely told the story better than I did.
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I know.
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No, but I really appreciate you going into that, that much detail.
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Cause I think that is, I wish that for the future generations to really know that, to really know that there is no such thing as, as good or bad.
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There s just you.
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just doing doing what you can do for yourself, whatever that looks like, you know.
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And unfortunately, I think what happens for a lot of youth that grows up in, you know, communities like the ones I grew up in, it s like we re doing a lot of things that we were never taught.
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We re doing a lot of things that we were never taught.
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And so there s a lot of self-doubt that creeps in.
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There s a lot of shame that creeps in.
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There s a lot of, oh, do I trust myself or do I just stay where I m comfortable?
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And it s just like, nah, just do the best that you can.
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Whatever that looks like, just do the best that you can.
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And I feel proud that there s moments in my life that I can look back and say, wow, I really showed up for myself in the best way I knew how to.
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maybe would look a little different today, but even then, like very proud nonetheless.
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And so, yeah, I hope that for the future generations that they leave room for themselves to know that good thing, bad thing.
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I don t know.
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Guess we ll see.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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Yeah.
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And you know, it s, you know, what s really interesting back here, obviously I went, so I went on tour for the first time this year.
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How was it?
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Hard.
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It was hard and grueling and exhausting and at the same time the most fulfilling, beautiful, powerful thing we did.
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I think it was around just under 40 cities across the world and it was insane as an experience and I m so grateful I did it but I couldn t do anything else but that for the time that I was out.
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I think overall we did that in like 80 days, all of that, and it was a lot of travel and everything else but
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I was obviously touring for my book, Eight Rules of Love, and it was really interesting to me because there were lots of moments.
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So the difference about, for those of you who came to my show, you already know, but it wasn t a speech or a lecture.
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It was literally like a social experiment where I would take people up from the audience.
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People would be in uncomfortable situations.
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There d be humor.
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There were moments where people were sharing their story with the entire, you know, thousands of people in the room.
6
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I was really moving and there s one area where we really focused a lot and it was this idea of how.
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The biggest space we lose ourself is often in romantic relationships and romantic relationships tend to be the relationships where we invest the most of us.
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and often find that we leave feeling the most broken or hurt or whatever it may have been.
6
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And I wanted to ask you, like, how have you looked at healing through romantic relationships that you ve had?
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We ve talked a lot about platonic friendship, family and life, but romantic relationships tend to affect us deeper.
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I don t know if you agree with that or feel that way, but
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Yeah, I mean, I m a sucker for love.
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I love love.
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So am I, so I get it.
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And I m so excited to talk about this with you because I know you are.
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And I think for me, it s because it doesn t get any closer to your heart than that.
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This is the type of experience that s actually chosen.
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You re not born into.
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you re not placed into.
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This is a space of choice.
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I enjoy this person.
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I enjoy the time that s spent with this person.
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And I think that there s so much to be revealed in a dynamic like that about yourself.
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And you don t realize it because sometimes you re so focused on the other person on the other side that when you realize like, oh, this is actually about me too.
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You know, it s as close to your heart as it gets.
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And I think my healing in that is the deepest it s gotten of how do I exist in these spaces?
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You know, the self-accountability part, the self-reflective part of like, what part of me shows up in these spaces?
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And going to the parts work and stuff that I ve done in therapy, it s just like, yeah, it s powerful.
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I think it s as powerful as it could ever get.
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because it s the most revealing of your weaknesses.
7
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Yeah and your vulnerabilities and and all of that stuff and also maybe not your weaknesses but also your strengths you know it can show you like just how strong you are how giving you can be to someone
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finding parts of yourself that you didn t know existed.
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You know, I think it s a very inspiring space to be in.
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I was talking, I was to say, talking about this with a friend, but it funny enough is somebody who also works in the industry.
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And she goes, Oh, Amiga, I used to be told all the time that I m so unlucky in love.
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And I beg to differ.
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I ve been so lucky in love.
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And I m like, it s that, that change of, of mindset of knowing that like everything is happening for us, not to us.
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And I think that when I think of my journey of healing and relationships,
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you know, some of my earliest relationships and how I existed in them.
7
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And then the ones that I ve had in like my, my, you know, teenage years, young adult years and how they evolve and how you change so much, so much.
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What have you turned to that you d encourage other people to turn to, to find that strength within themselves and that connection with themselves when it almost feels like
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the foundations are broken, like those three legs are just destroyed almost.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
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Well, are the three legs actually destroyed?
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I think it s like, again, it s a, it s an opportunity to reflect inward.
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What is real?
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What is not real?
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And going back to like what s happening in the real world versus what s happening, what s happening on social media.
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it s not always reflective of the same thing, you know?
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And one s experience in something can be so different than someone else s, but leaving room for yours is super important.
7
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And then also being selective in who you share that with, because it is such a sacred thing, you know?
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And I think that s been one of the most revealing things for me in this, you know, chapter of my life is like, who do I share with?
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with everything.
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Who do I share with?
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Who deserves to be in these spaces with me?
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In my pain, in my peak, in my process, all of those things, like I deserve to have filters.
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I deserve to hold space.
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I deserve to just be and not have to explain.
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You know, and I think being a person who s grown up on social media, there has been so many times in my life where I ve just been like, no, no, no.
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And then what you say, how you say it, who said it, always gets mixed up, always gets used against you in some shape or form.
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And I think for me, it s just like, no, I m good.
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Because my three legs are good.
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They ve been solidified.
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They re being catered to.
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They re being taken care of.
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And so my table is standing, you know, and I m proud of that.
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Very proud of that.
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To me, it s really powerful what you just said now around the idea of
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we get so lost in a conversation that s happening outside of us that isn t actually reality.
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And so almost we re looking at the wrong things, we re arguing about the wrong things, we re internally having a debate about something that isn t the thing.
7
SPEAKER_01
I actually had a friend I was talking to a week ago and we were discussing, you know, he s been going through some stuff and there was someone in his life that he had some,
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rightful animosity towards, right?
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Like it would be okay for him to feel this certain way about it.
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And I was asking him what was the big win and what was the ego win?
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And I was asking him like, what is really the win in this situation?
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And he was saying the win in this situation is that my family member can move on from what they ve been going through.
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And I said, what s the ego win?
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And the ego win was that person s life is ruined, right?
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The other person that they were mad at.
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And it was really interesting, like just looking at it from that perspective of like, it s natural to have the ego win become strong in a situation.
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But then when you look at the bigger picture and you zoom out, you re like, oh, actually, now when I make sense of this, that actually is irrelevant.
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to what I really care about.
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Does that make any sense?
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, a hundred percent.
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And so I think to me, it s, I m always reflecting on that.
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Like, what s my ego win in this scenario?
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And what s the bigger win in this scenario?
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And that only comes when you take a step back and what you said, you look at the reality and you look at the filter that you just talked about.
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To me, that s the biggest one.
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And I love how you said it wasn t just about the pains, it was the peaks.
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It was the peaks too.
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That s so well said.
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Like, who s the first person you want to call when you win?
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And who s the first person you call when you want to lose?
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Yeah.
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And there s a filter to that.
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There is a filter to that on what the qualifications of someone, anyone in any way that comes into your space.
7
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And I think going again, it s so crazy.
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Everything goes back to my childhood of just being like giving, giving, giving, giving.
7
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When do you take?
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And not take just to take, I mean, like receive, you know, like that to me is like the thing to really be just thoughtful about.
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SPEAKER_02
And so those filters are again, constantly being reevaluated for me.
7
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And that s why I say growing up, I m not grown up, I m growing up.
7
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And I m sure, you know, the same way I felt this, I felt such a strong sense of self at 16.
7
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And I look back at her and I m like, you better give me some of that girlfriend.
7
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I don t know what that was or what you was on, but you were locked in, but also not aware of what was really out there in the world.
7
SPEAKER_02
And so you go out in the world and you see what s out there and you re learning and you re adapting and you re taking all these things in and things start to feel a little different.
7
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Your surroundings, your circumstances, they all shift.
7
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And then, you know, that this is how I feel at 26.
7
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Who s to say I m not going to feel any different when I m 36, you know, and then 46 and so on.
7
SPEAKER_02
And so I think just like leaving room again for that, like that humanness and that being in process and the filters, you know, like not the filters we see on social media, but the real filters that matter, you know, we can t just be drinking any water.
7
SPEAKER_02
You can get really sick by drinking just any water, you know, but if also, if you just drink only purified water, you re not getting the minerals that you need.
7
SPEAKER_02
You re not getting, you know, so you can t, you can t be too guarded.
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Cause then that s a very lonely space to live in, you know, to have these walls that no one could ever get through.
7
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But, but if you have no walls,
7
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you have no boundaries, no anything and everyone and anyone can come in whenever they want to.
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I don t think that s a way to live life either.
7
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So I like to think of the house that I was born into had no roof sometimes, maybe some of the doors were a little funky, there was no locks on the doors and the windows are a little broken.
7
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But there comes a time where you grow up and you can say, oh, I don t have to live in this house anymore.
7
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I can go build a new house.
7
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I can build my own house where the windows, I can open and close them as I want to.
7
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Shut the blinds or let in the light.
7
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There s locks on my doors.
7
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I can let people in and share in my space.
7
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share a meal with them, and even if they d like to move into my house, because I choose for them to be in that house, beautiful.
7
SPEAKER_02
But also there s locks on my doors.
7
SPEAKER_02
So not just anybody can come into my house, you know, knowing that, knowing that I ve provided a roof over my head that, yeah, if it rains, we re good.
7
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We re fine.
7
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You know, it can come crashing down and I will be safe.
7
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And I think that s beautiful.
7
SPEAKER_02
Like we re all building our own houses that look very different than the houses we grew up in.
7
SPEAKER_00
A new season of Bridgerton is here.
7
SPEAKER_00
And with it, a new season of Bridgerton, the official podcast.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m your host, Gabrielle Collins.
7
SPEAKER_00
And this season, we are bringing fans even deeper into the ton.
7
SPEAKER_00
Colin Bridgerton has returned from his travels abroad.
7
SPEAKER_00
Is Betrothal written in the stars for the eligible bachelor?
7
SPEAKER_00
Meanwhile, the ton is reverberating with speculation of who holds Lady Whistledown s pen.
7
SPEAKER_00
We re discussing it all.
7
SPEAKER_00
I sit down with Nicola Coughlin, Luke Newton, Shonda Rhimes, and more to offer an exclusive peek behind the scenes of each episode of the new season.
7
SPEAKER_00
Watch season three of the Shondaland series on Netflix.
7
SPEAKER_00
Then, fall in love all over again
8
SPEAKER_00
by listening to Bridgerton The Official Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
8
SPEAKER_00
Subscribe to catch a new episode every Thursday.
8
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That is so powerful.
8
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Becky G, dust off his shoulder.
8
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Thank you, thank you.
8
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No, that was so powerful.
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I love that analogy.
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It s so true.
8
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There are some people you only meet in restaurants.
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There are some people who make it to the porch of the front door.
8
SPEAKER_01
There are some people who make it inside to the living room.
8
SPEAKER_01
There are some people who you ll cook a meal for.
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Some people just order in for
8
SPEAKER_01
And there s some people who not everyone s allowed into your private spaces, your bedroom, your, you know, like, I think for people to know that they can set how intimate they want to be with different people.
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Yeah.
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And that there isn t a policy that exists outside of that.
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It s something you have to set for yourself.
8
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is, is such an important thing to remind people, because I think people feel forced through stages.
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They feel uncomfortable through the different steps.
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And for you, I mean, you just referred to the home.
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I was wondering, I think it was, was it when you were nine years old that the home you grew up in?
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Yeah, I was, I was, uh, it didn t burn down.
8
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So the economy at the time was just, it was a very scary time.
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It was a recession happening and,
8
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I just think that at the time, my parents were so young, they had no idea.
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They were first time homeowners, no idea really what type of mortgage they had gotten committed to.
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And you hope for the best, but not necessarily prepared for the worst.
8
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This was one of those things where I think, I mean, thank God for our families that we had, like this family support that we had because we lost everything.
8
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We lost our home.
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I went from having like my first own bedroom.
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Most of my life I shared, up until that point, I d shared a bedroom with my siblings, all three of them.
8
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And so I remember this house that we were living in, it was the first year I had ever had my own room and I was so excited.
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I was like, this is what Lizzie McGuire has.
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This is what like all the girls on Disney Channel, they get to put posters up on their wall and they get to like, you know, rhinestone their closets and whatever.
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And I just remember like being so excited about moving into that house.
8
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And then when we lost it, just feeling like, oh, well that didn t last for very long.
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I think like subconsciously that started something in my mind that felt like, oh, when you have good things, they go away.
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Nothing lasts forever, so don t hold onto it too tight.
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And I m thankful for the flexibility that that gave me in life, but it also makes me very sad for my younger self that really believed that everything good that happened to me came with a really hard price to pay.
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So if you have good things, oh, you gotta be ready, gotta be ready for something, for the shoe to drop.
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And so we moved into my grandparents  converted garage in Inglewood.
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where I was born and it was a garage, I would say the size of the studio actually.
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And it was all six of us, my mom, my dad, my two brothers and my sister.
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And there was bunk beds, I slept on the bottom bunk with my sister and my brothers up top and my parents on the futon bed that, you know, they would make a couch during the day so we d have a little bit more room.
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And we had a pop-up table from Ikea that I would do my homework on and eat my cereal.
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That was the knockoff brand of Coco Puffs, not the real one.
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All to fast forward to the day that I decided, you know, I want to do this.
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I was obsessed with, which is really funny to me.
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I had mentioned Lizzie McGuire, blonde.
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White girl.
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I mentioned I was obsessed with Shirley Temple.
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Young, blonde, white girl.
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I was obsessed with Dakota Fanning.
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Blonde, white girl.
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I don t know what it was, but it was something about how young they were and how empowered they were.
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And they were doing these very adult things.
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They were the heroes of the stories that they were doing and acting.
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And I just remember thinking, oh, I want to do that.
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And shout out to the internet.
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I go on Google and I look up like, what do you need to do?
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Or what, who represents Dakota Fanning and all these things?
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Like, how do you become an actress?
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And, um, my first agency that I signed with, uh, at nine years old was Osbrink Agency.
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Shout out to my first agents.
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And at the time, they were representing Dakota Fanning, and I did not know what the heck a monologue was.
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I didn t know what headshots were.
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I didn t know any of that was.
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But I just knew I really wanted to learn.
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I really wanted to do this.
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And a huge shout out to my parents too, because again, they knew nothing about this.
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They had three other kids.
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you know, to take care of too.
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And the drive from Inglewood to Hollywood is, is, you know, with traffic, especially it s not, not very close.
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LA County is big, but they really supported me through that.
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And I have like a little, like I printed out a little contract to my parents and I said, give me six months, just six months.
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And if nothing, yeah, if nothing happens, then like, okay.
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Like, you know, that s fine.
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Like I ll leave you alone.
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We ll pretend this never happened or we can renegotiate our terms.
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Now we can renegotiate our terms after six months if all goes well.
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And yeah, going back to just like that instinct, that agency, that empowerment that I felt to just like
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to do this thing that no one in my family had ever done.
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There was really no point of reference.
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And I m glad I did it because I look back at the garage, which is still a real place where my family still lives.
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You know, there s, there s a lot of things up there.
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My grandma has a couple of like little shrine things of like, oh, you know, I m like, grandma, this isn t a museum.
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There s people walking by the house and they re like, is this the house that Becky lived in?
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My grandma s like, absolutely.
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I m like, no, very sacred space.
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Oh, but yeah, it s like, it s crazy to like, look back at and think like, this is, you know, this is where it all started.
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That fire within me that felt like, no, I can really do this.
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Like, let s, let s try this.
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That s so spectacular.
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That s special.
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That s special how so many big dreams start from so many small places and, and small places within us too.
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Yup.
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And I was going to ask you that, like, how have you, now that you re building this new home that has windows that work and has doors that have locks, what s changed about how you decide and define how
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someone gets to get closer to you and connected to you?
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Like what has changed?
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What has evolved?
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What have you learned growing up about who you allow close?
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Yeah, I think it s like, again, it comes back to knowing not anything has to be concrete.
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You know, you can vibe with people, you can enjoy beautiful moments with people.
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And then the moment that something doesn t feel right, you can speak to that.
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And everything is always, to me, always owed a conversation.
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You know, I ve had friendships
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in my life that just in all honesty, I outgrew and there s all love and it was a conversation.
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And it s sometimes that simple, but I think it s just like leaving room for that growth.
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Just like, it s gonna change.
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That s the point.
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Like we grow, like we change.
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Going back to the ice cream, seven years ago it was chocolate, today it s frozen yogurt.
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You know?
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I m still hurt by that because I love chocolate.
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I mean, I ll give it a try again.
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I m broken, I m broken.
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But even your physical body changes, why wouldn t our minds and our hearts also expand and change in those ways too?
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And it s not just in the way that I hope to be received by other people, or how I hold space for other people.
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It s also being around people who hold that same space for me.
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I think understanding that these are mutual spaces, right?
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It s empowering when you re like, oh, this is a choice.
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I get to choose to be here.
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You got to choose to be here and we re here together.
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That to me has been the most beautiful part of my evolution and healing.
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It s like, man, when I go on tour, my fans buy their tickets because they chose to be there.
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The same way I chose to walk onto that stage.
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Let s not rob ourselves of that empowerment, that agency that we have over our lives to decide, to choose what s good for you, what s best for you, what motivates you, what inspires you.
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And that can be the bad things.
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That could be the hard things.
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That could be the, because there s no such thing as good, bad, whatever.
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It just is.
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You know, when I, when I m speaking to you and I love this and I love it when I get to experience it in someone, because I think it s quite rare, but you would just have such a like strong spirit of just like positivity mindset.
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Like obviously you re working on all of these things as we ve been talking about today.
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And I love seeing it be so tough in someone.
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Not, I m not saying that, of course, like you said, you cried this morning.
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I m not saying without, I m actually more tough.
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I m not saying tough in the sense that there isn t any pain or stress, of course.
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And to me, the display of, to yourself of pain is even tougher
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to be able to admit to yourself that, hey, I m working on this stuff.
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How have you stayed so open to that mindset of trust and forgiveness for yourself and others when it almost seems like there s so many reasons to not be that way, if that makes sense?
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Well, I think it s just going back to like it makes it makes it easier for our human mind to see things in black and white, right?
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It makes our life easier, but actually it doesn t.
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I feel like it cuts us short from the experience that we re supposed to have.
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I believe in karmic energy.
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I believe that we are here for a reason.
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We re here on purpose.
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There s a purpose to our pain, to our happiness, to our greatest joys, to our anger.
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There s purpose to all of it.
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And so I think just really allowing yourself to be open to it is where I think I find it.
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It is that story of the father and his son.
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don t think that there s these practices that have been around for like generations and generations and decades, you know, to think that like, yeah, it s just a bunch of hocus pocus, you know, like, I just don t, I don t think so.
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Like, I think that s why I have a hard time trusting, like,
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the power of technology sometime.
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That s a whole other conversation, but it hasn t been around long enough for me to really understand what this is and what it s capable of.
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And the impacts that it has, like I said, on the future generations, it s intimidating.
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And I think, but you got to be open to it because if it cuts our processing time by half and our kids can learn more, that s great.
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But I believe in balance.
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I believe that we need balance as human beings.
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And I think that there s just so much more to this life than just being like, well, I don t like you.
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It s like, okay, well maybe there s something in that person that you don t like that actually reflects something that you don t like about yourself, but you re not ready for that conversation.
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You know, some people just aren t and that s totally fine, but I am that person.
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Like put, yeah, I love it.
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I really do.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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I can sense that.
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I could tell that.
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And it s, it s, it s fun to watch.
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I think it s, it s really meaningful to see it in someone.
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You ve talked about having guardian angels.
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And I wanted to ask you, when do you feel most connected to your guardian angels?
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I feel like my faith journey is very interesting because it was something that I was introduced to again at a very, very young age because I grew up in a very religious family.
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My mom was kind of the one to break that up for us, which I m very thankful for because it allowed me
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the opportunity to kind of find it on my own instead of it be something that was forced.
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Because like my mom, I remember many times she d tell me stories, you know, your grandma would just call us in and we d be like playing outside, having the time of our lives.
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She s like, kids don t even play outside anymore, you know?
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But here, there we were like playing outside and my mom would make us come inside and pray the rosary.
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And we d be like, again?
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come on grandma and come on mom you know and and what I loved is like as a kid I would have so many questions like I d tell my mom like you know sometimes when I was little this is very funny my grandma would sometimes be like kind of insinuate like oh you know people don t go to church or like
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they re on the bad list, the naughty list, right?
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And so my mom would be like, you know how grandma is, you know, we re gonna go to Diosito s house, you know, which was like to go to church.
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We re gonna go to Diosito s house.
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I m like, why doesn t Diosito come to our house?
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Like, why can t he come to our house?
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Like, what s this concept of us having to go to him?
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Why can t he come to us?
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Like, challenging these things all the time.
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And I just remember just thinking like, no, spirituality is a mutual connection with source, with greater source.
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And for me, my connection with God
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is just like, yeah, like he loves me regardless.
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There s times where I pray and I mean some of the stuff that I share, I m just like.
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You know what I mean, you know what I mean, you know?
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And I think that that s like, I love that for me, that I was able to discover that faith and I feel so protected in some of the moments that are so simple, you know?
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I mean, not just like in my moments of deep like confusion or like pain, when I am challenged to like surrender that control, right?
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When I say I practice, let go, let God.
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But even just like when I m by myself in my house, like making my coffee and I m playing like, I don t know, a certain song will come on like on my playlist.
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And I m just like, that s my grandpa.
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I know it.
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Like I know it, you know, or today.
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A big thing for me is, is dragonflies.
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I have a dragonfly tattoo and they, they definitely represent something very significant for me.
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And I mean, for months now, on the way here.
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I was like, oh, everything s going to be fine.
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We re chilling.
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I love that.
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That s beautiful.
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And it s, it s wonderful to have these notes and signs and, you know, moments that make us feel aligned.
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We all need them in, in some capacity and I think we, we all look for them because we re all trying to feel connected to something.
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higher and bigger and more powerful than ourselves, whatever it may be, whether it s in the world or whether it s beyond and it s it s nice hearing about your spiritual journey and how it s evolved because
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It is so personal and there s a beautiful, there s a beautiful statement.
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I believe it s, I believe it was said by David Lynch and he said that prayer is you talking to God and meditation is God talking to you.
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And I ve always loved that, that idea of God, universe, whatever you call it, but the idea that prayer is when you re speaking and meditation is when you re listening.
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Yes.
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And that communication is mutual.
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As you said, it s this two way connection.
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It s not a one way as it s often portrayed or comes across.
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And I really find that as well, that sometimes my job is to stop talking and just to listen.
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Yep.
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And so often we re just talking too much.
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You re trying to figure it all out or problem solving.
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And that listening ability is so lost in the art of communication.
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A hundred percent.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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It s it s that s why I said, you know, everything is always a conversation.
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I think that s how we should look at even things.
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I can t talk back to me.
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My my dogs that live in my mom s house, you know, I love them so much.
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There is a mutual love.
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They can t necessarily talk back to me, but I listen.
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I take the time to, like, connect with them, you know, but I think it s about being that type of, you know, intentional.
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type of person, I guess, when, when you re having these daily practices.
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And that s why I think when I like meditate, like there was like a shift instead of saying like, what do I want?
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What do, what do I feel right now?
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It s like, what do you want?
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Like it s serve.
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You have to ask your subconscious.
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You have to bring parts of yourself forward, you know, to really receive what that is because our psyche is like, it s crazy.
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There s certain things that I ve unpacked in therapy.
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I was like, Oh,
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I didn t even remember that that happened, you know?
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And it s because our minds are very powerful.
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Our minds were designed to protect us, right?
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Like our human body wants to survive and avoid death at all costs.
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But our spirit needs death.
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Our spirit needs death.
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The thing of giving up something to then have a rebirth of something else, to gain something else, you have to be willing to do that.
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There s so many parts of myself that I think
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you know, I have kind of like resolved with and it s beautiful to look back at, like that s that skin that I needed to shed.
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That s a beautiful thing.
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But there s like, you know, parts in that that probably people I grew up with, people that knew me to be a certain way that was more beneficial for them would probably be like, she changed.
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Yeah.
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I was like, no, I did.
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I actually did, I did change, you know?
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And I don t think that s a bad thing.
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So it s funny how, yeah, spirit can need something different than like what our body is like designed for.
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And you re like, no, no, it s not the literal thing.
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It s the shedding, you know?
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It s the shedding that needs to happen.
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Becky, it s been such a joy talking to you today and I m so glad that we ve finally connected in this way and we ve got to share your abundant energetic spirit with everyone through this episode and I m hoping that everyone who listens to it can kind of, you know, walk away feeling that
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positive energy through your voice, through your energy into them as well, because I really feel like it s come across for me too.
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Thank you.
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You just, yeah, you just have this spark and I m hoping that everyone today got to feel a bit of it.
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But we end every On Purpose episode with our final five, which is a question that has to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum.
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So Becky G, these are your final five.
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The first question is, what is the best advice you ve ever heard or received?
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You miss a hundred percent of the shots you never take.
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I think that s one sentence, right?
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Yeah, that s good.
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I was like, it s supposed to really be one word.
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No, no, no.
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One word to one sentence is fine.
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Question number two, what is the worst advice you ve ever heard or received?
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I don t know.
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I m that positive Patty.
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I m like, even those negative things, they re a positive thing.
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I would say, um,
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Just make sure you really think about it.
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It s like, no, you could overthink it.
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That s what I would say.
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Just make sure you really think about it.
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Really think about what you re saying or really think about, you know, what it is that you re asking for.
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No, no, no, no.
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I trust my gut.
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I d say probably that s the worst advice.
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You should really think about that.
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Yeah.
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Got it.
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Question number three, what is something you re currently trying to unlearn?
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Definitely people pleasing.
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What s the hardest part about giving it up?
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It s just second nature.
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You don t even realize how you practice that on a daily basis.
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Like I said, growing up in this industry, I feel like there s a lot of child stars that are set up to not be very successful as adults who are trying to take agency over their own life.
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Just knowing that your feelings matter, how you feel matters.
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Also, not everybody needs to participate in that.
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And that even if you spent your whole life trying to please everyone, chances are they ll still be upset with you for something else.
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Yeah.
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And again, maybe it has more to do with them than it does you.
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So totally.
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Yeah.
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Great.
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All right.
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Question number four.
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What s something that you used to value that isn t important anymore?
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I would say like the optics, the optics of what it is to like be in like the limelight.
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Like going back to like that thing that like, oh, everybody needs to like you and like, you know, you gotta feed the beast or whatever.
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I don t think I really value that anymore.
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I value like my personal peace more than anything else.
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I like that.
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Yeah.
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Beautiful.
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Fifth and final question, if you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?
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Oh, that everybody practiced and had access to some form of therapy.
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Yeah, I d love for, to be able to help that happen.
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Yes.
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Yeah.
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The access to, to resource I think is, is very crucial, but I think I would make that like immediate, like starting today, sign on the dotted line.
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Like, I think we all deserve safe spaces.
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I don t think we have enough of them.
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Well said.
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Becky G, everyone.
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Thank you so much, Becky, for having so much presence, openness, vulnerability with us here today.
10
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And everyone who s been listening or watching, make sure you tag me and Becky with your favorite moments.
10
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I love seeing what stuck with you, maybe what s helped you, maybe something you re going to pass on to a friend because, you know, they need to hear it.
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I know Becky and I would love to see that.
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Please make sure you do that.
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And Becky, thank you so much.
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I can t wait for everyone to go and stream Esquinas right now.
10
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It s available.
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If you re listening right now, you can go stream right right now.
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So go to everywhere you listen to music and go and listen in.
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But thank you so much, Becky.
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Thank you.
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I really appreciate you so much.
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Thank you so much.
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If you love this episode, you ll really enjoy my episode with Selena Gomez on befriending your inner critic and how to speak to yourself with more compassion.
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My fears are only going to continue to show me what I m capable of.
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The more that I face my fears, the more that I feel I m gaining strength, I m gaining wisdom, and I just want to keep doing that.
10
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This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.
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The joy they brought to the nation.
10
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You re free completely.
10
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No one is there to destroy you.
10
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The danger they endured.
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They said my head should be cut off.
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I m John Legend.
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Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.