0
SPEAKER_00
This episode was sponsored by BetterHelp Online Therapy.
0
SPEAKER_00
Big thanks to Hasu Jo, licensed therapist and head of clinical operations at BetterHelp.
0
SPEAKER_00
Hasu Jo is not my actual therapist, and we are not in a therapist-client relationship.
0
SPEAKER_00
Also, just because you might hear something on the show that sounds similar to what you re experiencing, beware of self-diagnosis.
0
SPEAKER_00
You ll want to find a qualified professional to assess and explore diagnosis if that s important to you.
0
SPEAKER_00
Welcome to the School of Greatness.
0
SPEAKER_00
My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur.
0
SPEAKER_00
And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness.
0
SPEAKER_00
Thanks for spending some time with me today.
0
SPEAKER_00
Now let the class begin.
0
SPEAKER_00
When I really, I ve done therapy off and on for the last, I don t know, 10 years, but when I really dove in over the last few years, it created a sense of peace and freedom and clarity that I ve never had in my life.
0
SPEAKER_00
and it s continually showing up for me.
0
SPEAKER_00
That doesn t mean I don t have stressful moments and anxious thoughts and feelings and overwhelm and pressure in my life, but I have these tools and I have a baseline understanding that I am a good person and I don t need to beat myself up anymore and I don t need to hate myself and I don t need to say nasty things to me because those things don t support me and they don t support the people around me and they don t support my dreams.
0
SPEAKER_00
When I did that, I remember when I got congruency, I wrote this book in literally like a few months.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s something I was thinking about for years, but I didn t have the peace inside to really create it because I just felt like something was off still.
0
SPEAKER_00
And it helped me, again, become a New York Times bestseller and impact a lot of lives and do good things in the world with this message.
0
SPEAKER_00
But I wouldn t have been able to do that without therapy and without that support.
0
SPEAKER_00
So if people are on the fence about, you know, maybe I ve never tried it before, or maybe I don t know how this is for me, who is online therapy for?
0
SPEAKER_00
And what s a good way they can get started a little bit if they feel maybe scary of going all the way in?
0
SPEAKER_01
Who is it for?
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it can be for anybody.
0
SPEAKER_01
I do think that even my thinking about who it s appropriate for and who it s not has shifted quite a lot because of the past few years.
0
SPEAKER_01
You know, you mentioned earlier that I ve been with BetterHelp for almost six years.
0
SPEAKER_01
That means pre-COVID times, pre-pandemic times, I was with this company that was doing something at the time that was very strange.
0
SPEAKER_01
A lot of providers in the field were very resistant and skeptical about the idea of trying to do something so intimate through this, like, you know, through a computer or through your phone or something like that.
0
SPEAKER_01
And at the time, I had a lot more hang-ups around, like, who should be using it, who shouldn t.
0
SPEAKER_01
But I think we ve all learned through the past few years that digitally and digital connection creates possibilities for so many things.
0
SPEAKER_01
And even research in the field has shifted to look at online therapy as a really legitimate resource for a lot of people encountering pretty severe mental illness.
0
SPEAKER_01
But having said that,
0
SPEAKER_01
If you are a person out there and you re having any kind of anxiety, stress, worry, have a low mood sometimes, you re having issues in any of your relationships, you can t focus at work, you can t sleep because who knows?
0
SPEAKER_01
You know, you just have so much stress.
0
SPEAKER_01
You are noticing that just like life feels drab or you re stuck in a rut.
0
SPEAKER_01
Like all of these things are good and interesting reasons to explore something further and go deeper into yourself.
0
SPEAKER_01
I think I ve also grown a much larger appreciation of having time to be introspective and realizing that a lot of us just didn t really do that.
0
SPEAKER_01
And the pandemic really changed that for a lot of people because we were forced to think inward because the outward
0
SPEAKER_01
distractions that we often put ourselves in were no longer available to us.
0
SPEAKER_01
So we were left with just the walls of our home and what s inside of it.
0
SPEAKER_01
And even deeper than the walls of our home is the walls of ourselves and trying to break some of that stuff that we had built up to attempt to do something and realizing it wasn t really working out when we couldn t go out to see friends, we couldn t enjoy activities.
0
SPEAKER_01
So
0
SPEAKER_01
Those are long winded way to say that, you know, therapy, online therapy can be for anybody.
0
SPEAKER_01
If you re looking for increased insight, if you re looking for symptom relief, because something is distressing to you.
0
SPEAKER_01
Or if you re just somebody that needs somebody to talk to, and who isn t one of those people, then it s certainly a good option to explore.
0
SPEAKER_01
And if you re on the fence, and if you re really unsure, you don t know about taking a dive into this stuff, you can do some research.
0
SPEAKER_01
If you have access to the internet, then you can start doing some Googling about what therapy is.
0
SPEAKER_01
You can even start doing some searching on your specific stuff, you know, like,
0
SPEAKER_01
putting in like, I m having trouble sleeping, my appetite has changed a little bit, what kind of therapy might be helpful for me?
0
SPEAKER_01
There s going to be a ton of stuff out there now.
0
SPEAKER_01
So starting with some research, you can also reach out to therapists that you re curious about and have consultation calls.
0
SPEAKER_01
With BetterHelp, you can reach out to our team directly.
0
SPEAKER_01
We have a contact form on the website.
0
SPEAKER_01
You can email directly contact at betterhelp.com.
0
SPEAKER_01
Our teams are here to answer questions, help you figure out whether this is the right option for you, and we can try to even point you in the direction if you figure that BetterHelp is not the right direction for you.
0
SPEAKER_01
We just want to make sure that people have some sense of being able to find something.
0
SPEAKER_01
It can be very overwhelming to know where to start, and you can just start on Google, really.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s just about searching something.
0
SPEAKER_00
Well, also, you know, I ve, I ve been a big fan of better help.
0
SPEAKER_00
And you know, the partnership that we have, and I m just a big believer in therapy and making therapy as accessible as possible.
0
SPEAKER_00
And that s why I think online therapy is powerful, because you can do it right from your phone or on zoom or things like that.
0
SPEAKER_00
And it s much more convenient.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I think there s something to being said for doing it in the convenience of your own home where you feel safe, feel private, where you save time, not have to drive somewhere.
0
SPEAKER_00
and you can really relax in your space, not having to go into someone else s space, which I think is really powerful.
0
SPEAKER_00
And we ve got an amazing partnership.
0
SPEAKER_00
We ve been partnering with BetterHelp for many years now, and my audience loves it.
0
SPEAKER_00
And if you guys are interested, if you haven t signed up yet, you get 10% off the first month
0
SPEAKER_00
If you go to betterhelp.com slash Lewis, that s L-E-W-I-S.
0
SPEAKER_00
So make sure you guys check that out.
0
SPEAKER_00
You can ask questions on there.
0
SPEAKER_00
There ll be a contact form on there.
0
SPEAKER_00
There ll be more things you can research at betterhelp.com slash Lewis as well.
0
SPEAKER_00
And if you use that link, you ll get 10% off your first month.
0
SPEAKER_00
And Hasu, I wanted to ask you,
0
SPEAKER_00
A few more questions, if that s okay.
0
SPEAKER_00
We asked our audience to send in some of their biggest challenges, their biggest, you know, problems, things they re going through right now.
0
SPEAKER_00
If you can, you know, briefly share and then we can kind of have a dialogue about each one if you re open to that as well.
0
SPEAKER_00
And this is a question, these are anonymous, but this is a question regarding relationships.
0
SPEAKER_02
And this person says, I am four years post-divorce.
0
SPEAKER_02
I ve done the work.
0
SPEAKER_02
I am doing the healing.
0
SPEAKER_02
I am really working on myself.
0
SPEAKER_02
I finally feel like I m in this amazing, healthy state mentally and physically, really ready for a committed relationship.
0
SPEAKER_02
yet I still keep attracting men who are not ready for a relationship.
0
SPEAKER_02
Any advice?
0
SPEAKER_00
Do you have any advice on why someone may be attracting others who are not ready for a relationship or may be non-committed?
0
SPEAKER_01
Ooh, this is a juicy one.
0
SPEAKER_01
Let s go.
0
SPEAKER_01
Because my answer, anonymous listener, might not be super easy to hear.
0
SPEAKER_01
Whenever I hear somebody saying like, I keep attracting this kind of person, or somehow everybody I meet is so and so and so.
0
SPEAKER_01
The common denominator in all of this is you, dear listener.
0
SPEAKER_01
So what are you doing to attract this particular kind of person?
0
SPEAKER_01
You said that you ve done all the work, you said that you ve done all the healing, but there s something about you that you re unaware of that s attracting this particular type of man.
0
SPEAKER_01
So it could be that your journey to healing is still in progress.
0
SPEAKER_01
And that s fine.
0
SPEAKER_01
You know, we kind of already riffed about this.
0
SPEAKER_01
Healing, alignment, self-exploration, this is an
1
SPEAKER_00
ongoing thing, I think, for all of our lives, really, if people are open to that.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I think there s a level of self-exploration to be done still to figure out what you might be doing or how you re presenting into the world that s attracting this kind of man.
1
SPEAKER_01
I see you coming in hot with the reality.
1
SPEAKER_01
In all the previous relationships that I was in that didn t work out, I was the common denominator.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I had to look at myself and say, why am I attracting these types of relationships?
1
SPEAKER_01
And I can t point the finger anywhere else but at myself.
1
SPEAKER_01
And so there s no man to blame here.
1
SPEAKER_01
You re attracting these types.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, you re going to attract a lot of people in general, but if you re
1
SPEAKER_01
allowing yourself to start dating and start having these conversations with certain people who are not committed, then you have to ask yourself, why is that happening?
1
SPEAKER_01
Why am I taking these steps that are engaging with certain men who are maybe not committed, or not open to commitment at this time.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I think that goes back to you.
1
SPEAKER_01
Because when you are
1
SPEAKER_01
When you are loving your life, when you are full of joy and you feel free, you re going to attract a lot of people.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, people are going to want to be around you.
1
SPEAKER_01
People want to be around fun, loving, caring, joyful human beings.
1
SPEAKER_01
That is a magnet to all people.
1
SPEAKER_01
Now it s you being discerning of saying, okay, where is someone else who s a great match for me?
1
SPEAKER_01
Who is someone that is aligned with me as opposed to someone that I m going to have a project and try to help and help coach and help overcome some challenge.
1
SPEAKER_01
And again, that typically comes from some type of wound that we still get to heal within us.
1
SPEAKER_01
So again, if you re looking for a clearer direction in your life, if you re looking for some healing, if you re looking for just more joy and freedom and peace of mind, then I encourage you to go to better help.com slash Lewis, again, you get 10% off the first month when you do that.
1
SPEAKER_01
So you can try it for a month.
1
SPEAKER_01
and explore it, check it out.
1
SPEAKER_01
You can find a therapist and you can switch, I believe at any time.
1
SPEAKER_01
So if you re feeling like, ah, maybe this doesn t work for me, let me try someone different.
1
SPEAKER_01
You can do that as well over at BetterHelp.
1
SPEAKER_01
They ve got, again, online support.
1
SPEAKER_01
So if you have any questions, you can ask them questions right on the website.
1
SPEAKER_01
Again, betterhelp.com slash Lewis.
1
SPEAKER_01
I hope today s episode inspired you on your journey towards greatness.
1
SPEAKER_01
Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a rundown of today s show with all the important links.
1
SPEAKER_01
And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me as well as add free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our greatness plus channel on apple podcast.
1
SPEAKER_01
If you enjoyed this, please share it with a friend over on social media or text a friend.
1
SPEAKER_01
Leave us a review over on Apple podcast and let me know what you learned over on our social media channels at Lewis Howes.
1
SPEAKER_01
I really love hearing the feedback from you and it helps us continue to make the show better.
1
SPEAKER_01
And if you want more inspiration from our world-class guests and content to learn how to improve the quality of your life, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness Newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.
1
SPEAKER_01
And if no one has told you today, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter.
1
SPEAKER_01
And now it s time to go out there and do something great.