1
SPEAKER_01
It s that I had a choice of a thought, which is what you re saying, a belief that I could have either believed I m sad, I m hurting, and it s all over, or I m happy, I m healthy, and I m healing.
1
SPEAKER_01
And just as you said, it s not that that belief or that thought made me better, but it s just that if I didn t have that thought, it would have been way harder to get through that pain.
1
SPEAKER_01
And so I love that to see that in practice what you just said for me was huge.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know, in Limitless, I talk about seven lies to learning.
1
SPEAKER_00
Because my wheelhouse is teaching accelerated learning.
1
SPEAKER_00
Teach people to read faster, learn languages, remember people s names, improve their memory, focus.
1
SPEAKER_00
And lie, for me, stands for limited idea entertained.
1
SPEAKER_00
Limited idea entertained.
1
SPEAKER_00
So good.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s getting us to self-reflect on, you know, is it really that you re too old or you re not smart enough?
1
SPEAKER_00
People come to me at events after they see me do these memory demonstrations, or maybe I ll remember people s names or do something.
1
SPEAKER_00
And they ll say, Jim, I m just not smart enough.
1
SPEAKER_00
I have a horrible memory.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I always say, stop.
1
SPEAKER_00
If you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them.
1
SPEAKER_00
If you fight for your limits, they re yours.
1
SPEAKER_00
And often, we don t know the power of our mind.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mentioned this last time, but it s like your brain is this incredible supercomputer.
1
SPEAKER_00
And your self-talk, your thoughts are the program that will run.
1
SPEAKER_00
So you tell yourself,
1
SPEAKER_00
I m not good at remembering people s names.
1
SPEAKER_00
You won t remember the name of the next person you meet because you programmed your supercomputer not to.
1
SPEAKER_00
So how do you transcend these lies?
1
SPEAKER_00
How do you end the trance?
1
SPEAKER_00
Because these lies, these were learned, right?
1
SPEAKER_00
This idea that genius is born, this idea that we re only using a small fraction of our brain, 10% or something like that.
1
SPEAKER_00
And you can unravel these lies.
1
SPEAKER_00
And you mentioned a very key word,
1
SPEAKER_00
I put a quote in the book from a French philosopher, and he says, life is the C between B and D. Life is the letter C between B and D. B stands for birth.
1
SPEAKER_00
D stands for death.
1
SPEAKER_00
Life, C. And you said it, choice.
1
SPEAKER_00
I really do believe that our lives are the sum total of all the choices we ve made up to this point.
1
SPEAKER_00
What are we going to eat?
1
SPEAKER_00
What are we going to feed our minds?
1
SPEAKER_00
What are we going to spend time with?
1
SPEAKER_00
Where are we going to live?
1
SPEAKER_00
What are we going to believe?
1
SPEAKER_00
What are we going to think and say to ourselves on a regular basis?
1
SPEAKER_00
And I believe that these difficult times, they can diminish us.
1
SPEAKER_00
These difficult times, they could distract us, which a lot of people feel distracted.
1
SPEAKER_00
Or these difficult times, they can develop us.
1
SPEAKER_00
Ultimately, we always decide.
1
SPEAKER_00
So the power of choice, you may hear me
1
SPEAKER_00
you made that choice in terms of what you choose to be able to believe.
1
SPEAKER_00
And with that choice comes a lot of responsibility, and with that responsibility comes a lot of power.
1
SPEAKER_01
I love what you clarified there, though, because the choice can be harder.
1
SPEAKER_01
I didn t go through a life-threatening surgery.
1
SPEAKER_01
If someone went through that, the choice becomes harder and harder to make if your stakes are higher and higher.
1
SPEAKER_01
But the choice brings power with it.
1
SPEAKER_01
And so it s like we need that power to come with it.
1
SPEAKER_01
And that s what you re making clear for us.
1
SPEAKER_01
One of the things that I m thinking about when we re talking about limitations
1
SPEAKER_01
Limitations almost make us feel safe.
1
SPEAKER_01
I think people don t often connect the two, but they do.
1
SPEAKER_01
If you aim low, chances are you ll get there, and so you won t experience disappointment.
1
SPEAKER_01
If you place a limitation on yourself and say, well, I can t do that, then when you can t do it, it makes you feel good.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like, oh, at least I knew.
1
SPEAKER_01
And you re validated.
1
SPEAKER_01
And you re validated, exactly.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s like you re looking for that.
1
SPEAKER_01
So how is a feeling that makes us feel safe actually sometimes the thing that s blocking us from feeling great?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think a lot of us will want to, you know, our nervous system is not necessarily set up for growth.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think in the beginning it is until we ve had some kind of a pain or trauma.
1
SPEAKER_00
Then we want to be able to survive and keep ourselves safe.
1
SPEAKER_00
There s this idea that
1
SPEAKER_00
Let s say negativity or pessimists are accurate more because maybe they set that standard or that belief a little bit more achievable.
1
SPEAKER_00
But optimists maybe succeed more because of it, because they have that kind of moonshot idea or thinking.
1
SPEAKER_00
The brain really wants to keep you alive.
1
SPEAKER_00
And it doesn t want to change.
1
SPEAKER_00
It takes effort.
1
SPEAKER_00
It takes energy to be able to achieve the goals.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know, there s this thing I saw on Twitter the other day saying, life is hard for one of two reasons.
1
SPEAKER_00
Either because you re leaving your comfort zone, life can be very hard, or because you re staying in your comfort zone.
1
SPEAKER_00
If people thought about change, which ultimately, you know, most people want, if they re healthy, some area of their life, relationships, health, career, something, and they re looking outside and they want to achieve something else, it s a lot safer to be able to say,
1
SPEAKER_00
to keep something realistic without a doubt.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I m like that way also.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, of course.
1
SPEAKER_00
Of course, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
In terms of my book deadlines, what would become realistic is even possible to get it done in x amount of time.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I also find that part of getting results is reaching, and then you stretch, and then you stabilize.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then you stretch, and you stabilize.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t feel like we could be stretching all the time.
1
SPEAKER_00
Agreed.
1
SPEAKER_00
That you could reach, reach, reach, but you have to recover.
1
SPEAKER_00
You have to replenish.
1
SPEAKER_00
You have to be able to rest also as well.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I m trying to add to that because I know we both like alliteration, but it s like stretch, stabilize, and then forego.
1
SPEAKER_01
There s also a sacrifice, I guess, but in a positive sense- Surrender.
1
SPEAKER_01
Surrender, yeah, because I found that I definitely am shocked at my capacity
1
SPEAKER_01
with the amount of things I do today that I didn t know were ever possible.
1
SPEAKER_01
So if someone told me 10 years ago, Jay, one day you re going to do this, this, this, this, this, I would have said, no way.
1
SPEAKER_01
I can just do one thing.
1
SPEAKER_01
And we did exactly what you said.
1
SPEAKER_01
So every year, I would stretch myself.
1
SPEAKER_01
every year.
1
SPEAKER_01
You re right, you can t just stretch, stretch, stretch, stretch, stretch every month, but every year I d add one thing.
1
SPEAKER_01
First, we started creating videos.
1
SPEAKER_01
Then after we started creating videos, we did the podcast.
1
SPEAKER_01
Then we did the podcast, we did our courses and programming.
1
SPEAKER_01
Then I wrote my book.
1
SPEAKER_01
Then after that, we stretched ourself a little, and I stretched myself a little every year.
1
SPEAKER_01
Then we stabilized, but I ve also found that I ve also had to let go of some things, sacrifice some things that once upon a time were really important to me.
1
SPEAKER_01
But today, they re not as important.
1
SPEAKER_01
And in order to stretch and stabilize, I had to learn to sacrifice too.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I think that s something we struggle with.
1
SPEAKER_01
I think one of our biggest limitations is
1
SPEAKER_01
wanting to hold on to stuff, right?
1
SPEAKER_01
It s like there s no space to shift away and hold on to something else if we re holding on to this.
1
SPEAKER_01
If I m like, no, no, no, I want this to be there for the rest of my life, I m missing out.
1
SPEAKER_01
What about that kind of limitation, where it s not a limitation that I think about myself?
1
SPEAKER_01
It s actually a limitation because I want something to be there, if that makes sense.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, there is.
1
SPEAKER_00
When we re talking about change or even transformation, the symbol for me is that of a
1
SPEAKER_00
like many people, a butterfly.
1
SPEAKER_00
And while the beauty is in the butterfly, the growth is happening usually in that cocoon, in that chrysalis.
1
SPEAKER_00
And it s one of those things where there s this story where there s this kid playing in the backyard when his parents are in the house, and he comes across a caterpillar.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he wasn t allowed any pets, but he wanted to make this caterpillar his pet.
1
SPEAKER_00
So he runs in, talks to his parents, saying, can I keep it?
1
SPEAKER_00
Can I keep it?
1
SPEAKER_00
And the mother says, yes, but you have to take care of it.
1
SPEAKER_00
You have to be able to feed it and everything.
1
SPEAKER_00
she gives him a mason jar, puts a little hole in it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Then he goes there and he opens it up and he puts leaves in there for the caterpillar to eat and a little tree branch for it to climb.
1
SPEAKER_00
Then one day, as you can imagine, it spins this cocoon and the boy is enthralled, is bewildered at this process of life.
1
SPEAKER_00
But he gets a little impatient because he knows what s coming, that it s going to emerge as a butterfly.
1
SPEAKER_00
Then one day,
1
SPEAKER_00
Lo and behold, he could see a little crack open up.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he gets impatient because it s taking too long.
1
SPEAKER_00
So he runs inside his house and he grabs scissors.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he walks back outside because he knows he s not supposed to run with those scissors.
1
SPEAKER_00
But he clips it, that hole open, to be able to allow it to be able to get free.
1
SPEAKER_00
But an interesting thing happened.
1
SPEAKER_00
When this creature came out, it didn t look like a butterfly.
1
SPEAKER_00
It kind of looked like a butterfly, but it didn t really.
1
SPEAKER_00
The wings were very shriveled.
1
SPEAKER_00
The body was very swollen.
1
SPEAKER_00
And it didn t fly, this thing he was looking forward to.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he cries to his parents, and the parents ask what happened.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he was explained how he cut it open.
1
SPEAKER_00
And they explained to him, because he was trying to make it easy for that creature, that that creature didn t have to develop the strength.
1
SPEAKER_00
And actually, when it pushes through that hole is when it takes the fluids inside of its body, and it nourishes and goes out to the wings.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then it can become that butterfly and soar to new heights.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I guess I bring this up because I feel like even the past few years, people feel like maybe they were cocooning and they were in this place and they were alone, alone with their thoughts, alone with their fears.
1
SPEAKER_00
They might be even feeling alone.
1
SPEAKER_00
And you and I have talked in many conversations about mental health and how our brain health is affecting our mental health.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I would say that through struggles, sometimes there is strength.
1
SPEAKER_00
My struggles growing up were learning.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was public speaking.
1
SPEAKER_00
Life has a sense of humor because that s all I do is public speak on this thing called learning.
1
SPEAKER_00
But disadvantage, within the word disadvantage, there s that word advantage.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I always feel like there s some kind of advantage.
2
SPEAKER_01
within every disadvantage.
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SPEAKER_05
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Colin Bridgerton has returned from his travels abroad.
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Meanwhile, the ton is reverberating with speculation of who holds Lady Whistledown s pen.
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When the Taliban banned music in Afghanistan, millions were plunged into silence.
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Radios were smashed.
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Cassettes burned.
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You could be beaten or jailed or killed for breaking the rules.
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And yet, Afghans did it anyway.
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This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.
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The danger they endured.
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They said my head should be cut off.
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The joy they brought to the nation.
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You re free completely.
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No one is there to destroy you.
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I m John Legend.
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Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
And it s hard to see that when you re in it.
2
SPEAKER_01
When you re inside the jar or inside the cocoon.
2
SPEAKER_02
Inside the cocoon, it s so hard to see it.
2
SPEAKER_02
But I think looking back at previous cocoons and seeing how you emerged,
2
SPEAKER_02
is often the best bet you have.
2
SPEAKER_02
I remember when I was at school, I d always be like, well, last year I did well in my exams, so how do I do well this year?
2
SPEAKER_02
Let me remember what I did last year.
2
SPEAKER_02
And that s a very small example.
2
SPEAKER_02
But even now, it s like when I went through this surgery, the last surgery I had was when I lost my voice and I had polyps in my throat, which was around 10 years ago.
2
SPEAKER_02
And so I remember at that time, for months on end, I was drinking out of a straw, and I couldn t speak.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I had a whiteboard where I would write things to my parents.
2
SPEAKER_02
And my sister and my mom were taking care of me.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I was like, OK, well, I got through that surgery.
2
SPEAKER_02
What mindset did I need?
2
SPEAKER_02
What can I do now?
2
SPEAKER_02
Or what did I not do that time that I should get right now?
2
SPEAKER_02
And so I find reflection is such a great tool to overcome limitations.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I think reflecting on your own life
2
SPEAKER_02
And this is the part that I think, I want to talk about this with you because I don t know the answer and I don t think we ve talked about this before, but we get so fascinated reflecting on other people s lives, right?
2
SPEAKER_02
What is the news?
2
SPEAKER_02
What is pop culture news?
2
SPEAKER_02
What is mainstream media doing?
2
SPEAKER_02
You re spending your whole day reflecting on someone else s life.
2
SPEAKER_02
So-and-so cheated on someone.
2
SPEAKER_02
So-and-so messed up the world record, didn t make it.
2
SPEAKER_02
So-and-so, they fell off stage when they were performing their song or whatever it is.
2
SPEAKER_02
There s this negative reflection on everyone else s life.
2
SPEAKER_02
But rarely do we carve out the time to reflect on our own life.
2
SPEAKER_02
Why do you think that is?
2
SPEAKER_02
And where does that come from?
2
SPEAKER_02
And I just want to hear your thoughts on that.
2
SPEAKER_02
Because reflection is something we all know how to do.
2
SPEAKER_02
We just don t necessarily do it inward.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think it could be an incredible advantage also, reflection.
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, when you reflect on something, you re harnessing the power of your memory.
2
SPEAKER_01
And as the memory coach, I feel like it s not just remembering facts and figures in foreign languages or speeches or things that can make you more productive in your performance.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s also reflecting and remembering the things that give you confidence and certainty moving forward.
2
SPEAKER_01
that reflection can be a superpower, that hindsight could lead to foresight.
2
SPEAKER_01
So many people forget about their wins.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, they forget sometimes of the things that they overcame.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, and so many people are scared of, you know, someone watching this or listening to right now could be afraid of making a mistake and looking bad.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, I always tell people, well, if you make a mistake, you make it OLD.
2
SPEAKER_01
O-L-D, and everything s an acronym.
2
SPEAKER_01
O is you own it.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, we don t put it outside of ourselves.
2
SPEAKER_01
We don t become a victim.
2
SPEAKER_01
We apologize if we hurt somebody.
2
SPEAKER_01
We fix it if we can.
2
SPEAKER_01
We take responsibility for it because that allows us to be able to make it better.
2
SPEAKER_01
The L is you learn from it.
2
SPEAKER_01
And that s why we make mistakes, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
There are stepping stones to make us a better person if we learn from it, that there s maybe there s no failure.
2
SPEAKER_01
Maybe there s feedback.
2
SPEAKER_01
Or maybe there s no, you know, you re not failing, maybe just failing to learn something.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so you want to be able to do that.
2
SPEAKER_01
But then the D is really where it lands.
2
SPEAKER_01
The D is don t repeat it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because so many people can learn in the moment, but then they repeat it.
2
SPEAKER_01
They repeat that mistake in their relationships or in their dating life.
2
SPEAKER_01
They repeat it.
2
SPEAKER_01
They forget what that junk food made them feel like afterwards or staying up late at night in terms of ruining their sleep and hurting their peace of mind the next day.
2
SPEAKER_01
So don t repeat it because, you know, insanity, doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.
2
SPEAKER_01
And sometimes it s not insanity.
2
SPEAKER_01
Maybe sometimes it s just not managing our memory, you know, and remembering that those moments, the hindsight where we ve made, you know, where like everyone right now can imagine a time where they felt like
2
SPEAKER_01
they couldn t survive, that they couldn t go any further.
2
SPEAKER_01
And the truth is, if they re listening to this, they did.
2
SPEAKER_01
They did survive it.
2
SPEAKER_01
And to be able to acknowledge it, part of self-care and self-love is looking at that person in the mirror.
2
SPEAKER_01
And that person has been through so much, but is still standing and reflecting on that in terms of how far we ve come.
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Yeah, memory is such a tricky thing in the sense of not just remembering something.
3
SPEAKER_01
What I mean by that is we all know that there s a song from our past that it clicks on and almost all of a sudden you re feeling nostalgia and you re remembering that moment when you were at college or whatever it was.
3
SPEAKER_01
You can go back to that place.
3
SPEAKER_01
Memory works in that way, but memory also works in the opposite way.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was thinking to myself that just a few weeks ago I couldn t walk.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was walking really slowly.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was really dealing with the pain.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was like, okay, I want to be so mindful.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then as soon as you start to feel better, it s so easy to just forget all of that and just start walking normally again and being not mindful.
3
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And it s almost like that where it s like pain makes you really present.
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and conscious and there and then all of a sudden when pain goes away you re not present anymore and you kind of just get on with your life and so I find it weird that sometimes our memory is so strong and sometimes it s so weak also when people have had a really painful trauma in the past
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That pain stays with us, and that we almost don t let go of enough.
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But then sometimes when we ve had certain pains, we let them go too quick.
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It s almost like how long pain stays with you, or pleasure stays with you, is such a weird concept.
3
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And I guess what you re saying is that there are certain types of pain that we have to learn to let go.
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There are certain types of pain that we need to remember in order to not repeat the same mistake.
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How do you know which one s which?
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Or how do you process that?
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And even in relationship, we have a lot of emotional pain, mental anguish in relationships sometimes.
3
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And even when you re thinking about forgiving someone, you can forgive them and not forget in terms of the lesson that they taught you.
3
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And even adversity, I mean, do you feel part of it is in hindsight, I think, about what s the meaning of this?
3
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That s a choice that we can make at any given time.
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Do you think that what you went through most recently with your surgery, do you look at it in any way as, what is this teaching me?
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Yeah, yeah, always.
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I think for me, I mean, there s a lot of lessons in it.
3
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One thing is I consider myself to be quite a mindful, healthy individual.
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I try and eat healthy.
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I work out.
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I sleep healthy.
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I have good rhythms and routines.
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I definitely push the optimal performance button.
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I m definitely always trying to figure that out.
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And I think things like this are very humbling.
3
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That s the biggest meaning I take away from all of this stuff is you re not the controller, you re not Superman, you haven t figured everything out.
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They re very humbling.
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They make you realize you re still in a human body and you have to deal with the ups and downs of it.
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The second thing I think I took away from this whole journey was how much I ve enjoyed being slow.
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I want to say slow, I consider myself to be present mentally, but I think I m quite fast physically, and I live a fast life physically.
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Mental presence is a beautiful thing when you live fast, but having physical presence also
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which this surgery made me have for the first time in a long time, probably since I was a kid.
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I can t remember.
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I ve literally felt like there were times when I was teaching myself how to slowly walk again and put pressure on my feet.
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And I was like, wait a minute, it s really nice living life this slow.
3
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This is actually really special.
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I hope I can hold on to elements of this.
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And yesterday, it was funny because I was with my friends in New York City.
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And we were on a walk.
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And usually, we looked at it.
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It was like 20 minutes to get somewhere.
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And the store was going to close in 30 minutes.
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And I know that if I was walking that path like five months ago, I d have been like, we can do that in 10.
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Like, that s what I would have said.
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And I said to my friend yesterday, I was like, look, I think I m going to do it in probably like 23 minutes because I m slower right now.
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And so we re only going to get seven minutes at the store.
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So if you guys want to go ahead, you guys go ahead.
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And I m going to walk at my pace.
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And we walked there, and we got there in 23 minutes, and it was absolutely fine.
3
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But it was even just me having that shift, I was like, wow, I m really appreciating walking at this pace.
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Even though I could get more done before, there s a certain joy in moving at this pace.
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So I fully agree with you.
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I think there s so much meaning, so many lessons.
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And that is the only way to live.
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I mean, if you don t live that way, it just ends up being another inconvenience.
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Well, we certainly all, everybody could ask.
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We have this shared adversity, right?
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It comes in different forms.
3
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You know, I mentioned my challenges were learning public speaking.
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As an adult, I had severe sleep issues from sleep apnea, obstructive.
3
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And I would, for five years, I slept 90 minutes a night.
3
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And it was just tearing my mind apart.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s crazy.
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Yeah, this is one of the things.
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And it wasn t straight.
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It was very interrupted.
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That s hard.
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I would stop breathing.
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It was more of a genetic thing.
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And I would stop breathing 240 times a night.
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Each time was like 10 seconds.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I did a series of surgeries.
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And I know how humbling that could be.
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And sometimes being reminded that we aren t always the superman or woman or girl.
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You know, there s a great foundation for curiosity.
3
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So what can I learn from this?
3
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A great appreciation to cultivate gratitude.
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You know, I think what you appreciate tends to appreciate, you know, in our life for sure.
3
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And gratitude rewires our nervous system for greater productivity, for greater performance, and certainly greater
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peace.
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You know, and I think peace of mind is high currency today.
3
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Totally.
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Without a doubt.
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With my sleep, though, you know, and that was a very painful surgery.
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SPEAKER_00
It was different than when you re a kid.
3
SPEAKER_00
They took my tonsils, my uvula, my soft palate, and I was, you know, for weeks, couldn t breathe, couldn t eat, couldn t do anything.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I think what I learned from my sleep issues, you know, there was a gift in it.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know, when I would be able to read and remember and focus and, you know, so I got to,
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live what I teach and practice what I post.
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That s what it is, yeah.
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That s what it is.
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That s a big thing.
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And then the other part of it is I found out that everything I did was for a reason.
3
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There s nowhere else I d rather be right now.
3
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I would always say, heck yes or heck no, because I think a lot of people get tired because they have too many tabs open.
3
SPEAKER_00
Or maybe some people watching right now feel burnt out because they re doing too much.
3
SPEAKER_00
Maybe you re not burnt out because you re doing too much.
3
SPEAKER_00
Maybe you feel burnt out because you re doing
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too little of the things that make you feel alive, the things that really light you up.
3
SPEAKER_00
And being in that cocoon, part of it is you could get clarity.
3
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I think solitude, when we choose to slow down and get space from noise, and when you say yes to somebody or something, you re not saying no to yourself.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I think clarity, using time just even
3
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five, ten minutes a day to just clarify what s—sometimes when you re going 100 miles an hour, you re not thinking about, oh, am I going in the right direction, right?
3
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And asking yourself a simple question like, what s most important to me in my life?
3
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What s most important to me in this moment?
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in my relationships, in my career.
3
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And then asking yourself on the other side, are my actions today aligned with those values?
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Yes.
3
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Because sometimes, you know, we might be doing something that s, it s not just about time management for productivity, it s about mind management and it s about priority management.
3
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You know, the most important thing is to get the most important thing, the most important thing.
3
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And, you know, that will allow you while you re cocooning, you know, that clarity as well as doing things like care and contribution.
3
SPEAKER_00
I could alliterate all the Cs.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
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It makes a difference to come out of this stronger, to be able to soar to new heights as we re going through this transformation.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
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I think if someone s listening to this right now and really feeling limited in the sense of how they feel about themselves, they re limited by how many options.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think options is an interesting thing, and it is different for different people.
3
SPEAKER_01
I remember that when I was
3
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in the corporate world and when I was employed.
3
SPEAKER_01
And yeah, I didn t do what was meaningful to me.
3
SPEAKER_01
I wasn t passionate about what I did.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was just what I needed to do to pay the bills and take care of things.
3
SPEAKER_01
What gave me more confidence was that I always would know if I had other options of what I could do.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I would have to entertain options in order to realize I wasn t as limited as I thought I was.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because there was a part of me that believed I was like, well, this is all I can do.
3
SPEAKER_01
This is the only qualification I have.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, no one else would give me a job.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then there was a part of me that was like, well, that s not true, actually.
3
SPEAKER_01
I could change and shift and do this and do that.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think often we limit the number of options we think we have.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s almost like going back to that Edison quote of like, I didn t fail 10,000 times.
3
SPEAKER_01
I just found 9,999 ways not to do it.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I think there s a deeper thought from him that I loved when he said, and this is something I always hold on to,
5
SPEAKER_02
How Chinese is your Chinese food?
5
SPEAKER_02
How do dollar stores stay in business?
5
SPEAKER_02
And of course, is there an Illuminati of cheese?
5
SPEAKER_02
There absolutely is, and we are risking our lives by talking about it.
5
SPEAKER_02
But if you love mind-blowing facts, incredible history, and really bad jokes, make your brains happy and tune in to Part-Time Genius.
5
SPEAKER_02
Listen to Part-Time Genius on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
5
SPEAKER_00
Hey everyone, this is Molly and Matt and we re the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting.
5
SPEAKER_00
like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.
5
SPEAKER_01
We re back with season two of the podcast, which means more opportunities to glow up and become a more responsible and better adult, one life lesson at a time.
5
SPEAKER_00
And let me just tell you, this show is just as much for us as it is for you.
5
SPEAKER_00
So let s figure this stuff out together.
5
SPEAKER_00
This season, we re going to talk about whether or not we re financially and emotionally ready for dog ownership.
5
SPEAKER_01
We re going to figure out the benefits of a high-yield savings account.
5
SPEAKER_00
And what exactly are the duties of being a member of the wedding party?
5
SPEAKER_01
All that plus so much more.
5
SPEAKER_00
Let s learn about all of it and then some.
5
SPEAKER_00
Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
5
SPEAKER_04
And it works for yourself.
5
SPEAKER_04
And also, it s a map you could use with people around you.
5
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Yeah.
5
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It s a lens.
5
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When you re working with your kids and they re not doing something that they know they should do, is it their mindset?
5
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Do they not believe in themselves?
5
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Do they not believe they re capable?
5
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Do they not believe they deserve it?
5
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Or maybe they have no purpose to clean their room or to study these things.
5
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If it s not relevant to them, they re probably not.
5
SPEAKER_04
And so you know what to address.
5
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Maybe they re just, we have to work on optimizing their energy.
5
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Because you don t have energy, you do it.
5
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Yeah.
5
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It s this whole idea you take your nouns in your life
5
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and turn them into verbs.
5
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You don t have focus.
5
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People are thinking, that s my problem, Jim.
5
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I m watching this because I don t have focus.
5
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But you don t have focus.
5
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You do it.
5
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There s a process for focusing.
5
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You don t have a memory.
5
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There s a process of encoding, storing, and retrieving.
5
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You don t even have energy.
5
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There s a process for generating energy.
5
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As our friend Brendan Burchard talks a lot about, a lot, that you generate this kind of energy.
5
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And they re also, it can be the methods.
5
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Sometimes it s simply learning better tools also as well.
5
SPEAKER_04
So you could use it with your friends.
5
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You could work with your team.
5
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And this works micro and it also works macro.
5
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This works at a cultural level.
5
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It works at the level of community.
5
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It works at the level of your country.
5
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There s a set mindset about what may be around certain issues, right?
5
SPEAKER_04
And it s really hard to create change or becoming more limitless.
5
SPEAKER_04
you know, based on certain mindset around maybe fairness and equality, whatever it happens to be.
5
SPEAKER_04
Or maybe these people, maybe they don t have purpose, you know.
5
SPEAKER_04
Or maybe they re being incentivized to keep things in a certain way.
5
SPEAKER_04
Or maybe they lack energy or resources.
5
SPEAKER_04
Or maybe they re using old methods for leadership or making change, right?
5
SPEAKER_04
So it could happen micro or macro.
5
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That s unbelievable.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I love that.
5
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I love the framework even more hearing it from you.
5
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I m trying to think of so many areas in my life where I m like, okay, which one am I struggling with?
5
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Which one is it where we haven t got it right or we haven t figured it out?
5
SPEAKER_03
I think if everyone just took a few moments today to reflect on that one area of their life that they want to work on and identify it.
5
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With that process, when we start to do it, who we re around, we always have known that.
5
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Who we re around is such a big deal.
5
SPEAKER_03
our friends, our family, our community.
5
SPEAKER_03
These things have a huge impact on us.
5
SPEAKER_03
Negativity is contagious.
5
SPEAKER_03
So many people say that they feel drained by the people around them or their family or that when they share a new big idea with someone that they love, they re often met with resistance.
5
SPEAKER_03
I hear this so often.
5
SPEAKER_03
And when you think about limits, you think about what you said.
5
SPEAKER_03
You weren t born with limits.
5
SPEAKER_03
You had limits placed on you.
5
SPEAKER_03
But we either get to choose to accept or reject those limits.
5
SPEAKER_03
But it s really hard for people to reject a limit placed on them by someone they love and trust.
5
SPEAKER_03
Walk us through that a little bit.
5
SPEAKER_03
Let s think out loud about that.
5
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When someone has their mother or their father or someone they really respect place a limit on them.
5
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You want that person to root for you.
5
SPEAKER_03
You want that person for you to win.
5
SPEAKER_04
We all need people to encourage us, to be able to challenge us, to be able to cheerlead for us, to believe in us.
5
SPEAKER_04
And if we haven t found that person yet, then my advice would be to be that person.
5
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Be that person for somebody else, especially be that person for yourself.
5
SPEAKER_04
We talked about last time in this conversation the difference between a thermostat and a thermometer.
5
SPEAKER_04
A thermometer on the wall, it s only function, it reacts to the environment.
5
SPEAKER_04
And sometimes we, as human beings, we react to the economy.
5
SPEAKER_04
We react to politics.
5
SPEAKER_04
We react to how people treat us.
5
SPEAKER_04
We react to the weather.
5
SPEAKER_04
But we know through studies done on people who are most successful, at least at least the ones that are happiest and most fulfilled, they don t react as much as they respond, right?
5
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They re a thermostat.
5
SPEAKER_04
A thermostat doesn t react to the environment.
5
SPEAKER_04
It gauges.
5
SPEAKER_04
It knows the temperature in this room.
5
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But it also, what, it sets a temperature.
5
SPEAKER_04
And the environment reacts to it.
5
SPEAKER_04
So it s that agency.
5
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Last time, you and I talked about some of the people that I get to be able to spend time with and coach and what I learn from those people.
5
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And one of them I mentioned was Stan Lee.
5
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And it wasn t just his playfulness and his passion for what he did.
5
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It was also responsibility.
5
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I remember I picked him up for dinner one day, evening, and I asked him,
5
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I need to know this because I remember I couldn t read.
5
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I taught myself how to read by reading comic books.
5
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I told him that whole story because it brought the words to life.
5
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But I said, who s your favorite?
5
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Who s your favorite?
5
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And he says, Jim, my favorite is Iron Man.
5
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And he says, Jim, who s your favorite?
5
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And he had the Spider-Man tie.
5
SPEAKER_04
And I was like, Spider-Man.
5
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And he says without a pause in his iconic voice, with great power comes great responsibility, right?
5
SPEAKER_04
And truthfully, I reverse a lot of things I see, I read, I hear, maybe because of my brain injuries as a child, and I heard something totally different.
5
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I was like, Sam, you re right.
5
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With great power comes great responsibility.
5
SPEAKER_04
And the opposite is also true.
5
SPEAKER_04
With great responsibility comes great power.
5
SPEAKER_04
When we take responsibility for something, we have great power to make things better.
5
SPEAKER_04
And the thing is, when we make excuses or we complain, it s probably all valid.
5
SPEAKER_04
It s probably true, right?
5
SPEAKER_04
But it doesn t make anything better.
5
SPEAKER_04
So we use a lot of our focus, our attention, our energy when it can be better well spent because we can t be upset by the results we didn t get from the work we didn t do.
5
SPEAKER_04
And so when we take personal responsibility, we have the power to make things better.
5
SPEAKER_04
And I would say part of responsibility
5
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Our peer group certainly affects things.
5
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I always say watch.
5
SPEAKER_04
It affects W, our words, right?
5
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The words we start adopting the same language patterns as people around us, start using the same phrases.
5
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The A, our actions.
5
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We start doing the same behaviors as people around us also as well, good and bad, what we eat.
5
SPEAKER_04
So it s not just our neurological networks, it s our social networks, right?
5
SPEAKER_04
And who we spend time with is who we become.
5
SPEAKER_04
We start believing their same standards and their expectations of
5
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for us, right?
5
SPEAKER_04
The T in watch is we start mirroring the thoughts of the people around us.
5
SPEAKER_04
We start thinking the same way about ourselves as other people think about us.
5
SPEAKER_04
The C is a big one.
5
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It s our character, right?
5
SPEAKER_04
We know that people, if they have breaks in integrity and they re around people that are disingenuous, that they re more likely to pursue and have that same kind of standard.
5
SPEAKER_04
I saw recently a quote that said, integrity is measured by the distance between someone s lips and their life.
5
SPEAKER_04
And I just like, wow, that s a nice cut.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that s powerful.
5
SPEAKER_03
I love that.
5
SPEAKER_04
I call them truth bumps.
5
SPEAKER_04
But yeah, that s the character.
5
SPEAKER_04
And then finally, the H in WATCH are habits.
5
SPEAKER_04
We start adopting the same routines and the habits of the people that we spend time with
5
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_04
So we have to stand guard to the doors of our mind, right?
5
SPEAKER_04
And we have these mirror neurons that s constantly in our nervous system that are constantly imitating the people around us.
5
SPEAKER_04
And so we can love our family and we can love our friends.
5
SPEAKER_04
But when our lives are fueled by the expectations and beliefs and opinions of other people, then we re going to run out of gas, right?
5
SPEAKER_04
Good, bad, and indifferent.
5
SPEAKER_04
Part of it is owning that agency, saying that, yes, it s hard when people don t believe in you.
5
SPEAKER_04
I was very blessed.
5
SPEAKER_04
I think I won the lottery when it came to my parents.
5
SPEAKER_04
They immigrated here.
5
SPEAKER_04
They re not the most spiritual.
5
SPEAKER_04
They ve never had a green juice.
5
SPEAKER_04
They don t do yoga.
5
SPEAKER_04
They re not the most health conscious or read personal development books.
5
SPEAKER_04
But they re just really good people.
5
SPEAKER_04
They do what they do.
5
SPEAKER_04
They re hardworking.
5
SPEAKER_04
They re very, very kind.
5
SPEAKER_04
You know, so I feel like everything that s good that s come out of, you know, that I ve ever done is, I credit to them.
5
SPEAKER_04
Anything that s fall short, you know, it s all on me.
5
SPEAKER_04
You know, so I was very, I m very blessed.
5
SPEAKER_04
And it s not so much about the resources you have because we didn t have any education.
5
SPEAKER_04
We didn t have any money.
5
SPEAKER_04
You know, we lived in the back of a laundromat that my mom, you know, worked at.
5
SPEAKER_04
Didn t have any connections or network or anything, you know, back then.
5
SPEAKER_04
And so I would say that if there s somebody
6
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else that has survived and even thrived, you know, in those same kind of situations, that I do believe that genius in any of its form, and I m talking about IQ, that it s built, that it s not born.
6
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It s built around that we shouldn t be shrinking our lives and our dreams to meet this current situation.
6
SPEAKER_03
Instead, don t downgrade your dreams to meet this current situation.
6
SPEAKER_03
What if we upgraded our mindset?
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What if we upgraded our motivation?
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What if we upgraded the methods we re using to be able to meet our destiny?
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Jim, that is so powerful.
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I mean, that one statement, the reframe, I ve heard that.
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I m a big Marvel fan, as you know.
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And to hear that reframe of that statement, with great responsibility comes great power, that s a universal principle.
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It s almost like,
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if you think about it, that when you take on a great responsibility, everything in the universe conspires to help you with it.
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And so the amount of help you get is about how much healing you re trying to bring.
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And that s really beautiful and powerful.
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I mean, that s going to stay with me for a long time.
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That s a really, really special insight.
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I want to make sure that everyone goes out and grabs a copy, if you don t already, of Limitless by Jim Kwik.
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The 3M model is in this book and broken down step by step, as you saw and heard.
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Jim is a highly systematic, logical thinker.
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If you want really practical, key advice on all of these ideas and insights, then make sure you go and grab a copy of this book.
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Jim, I want to thank you.
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for teaching us all how to be limitless today and break through our limitations.
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I want to thank you for doing it in your own life.
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Thank your parents, too, for doing what they did.
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That was beautiful to hear that.
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And I m always here to support and be right with you, whatever you re doing.
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So thank you so much.
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I appreciate it.
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And thank you to your entire community.
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I believe the world right now, so many people
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I feel like they re dimming themselves, their message to be able to, because they don t want their light to shine in other people s eyes.
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And I feel like we need to be doing the opposite now more than ever, you know, that we need a better, brighter world.
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And I think that there s a version of ourselves and our families, our purpose, everything that s patiently waiting.
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And the goal is we show up every single day until we re introduced.
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Well said.
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Well said.
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Jim Kwik, everyone.
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Make sure that you tag me and Jim on Instagram, on Twitter, on TikTok, whatever platform you re using.
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Let us know what you learned, what you took away, what you ve gained from this conversation.
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We re going to be back next week, of course, with another incredible episode of On Purpose.
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Thank you for all your love.
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Make sure you subscribe.
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And Jim, thank you so much again for joining us.
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It s been an honor.
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This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.
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The joy they brought to the nation.
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You re free completely.
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No one is there to destroy you.
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The danger they endured.
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They said my head should be cut off.
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I m John Legend.
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Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Hey everyone, this is Molly and Matt and we re the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.
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It s a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting.
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Like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.
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Let s learn about all of it and then some.
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Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on America s number one podcast network, iHeart.
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Open your free iHeart app and search Grown Up Stuff.