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Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert.
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I m Dan Shepard, I m joined by Dave Padman.
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Hello.
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We have an incredible guest today.
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Do you think my name would be Dave if I was a boy?
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Ooh, no, it d be Neil if you were a boy.
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That s already been proven by the fact that you re kids.
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That s too easy.
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Okay, so back up to Neil.
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I think your name would be Samantha.
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Ew.
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Well, I love that.
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Well, no, I know it s the best name in the world.
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People would call you Sam.
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If I was a gal, that s not what s being asked, but if I was a gal, what name would I want?
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Lincoln, obviously, I gave it to my daughter.
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You re just going through the people we already know.
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No, obviously, oh, pardon.
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Obviously, my favorite name for a girl is Lincoln, that s why I gave it.
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That s why you did it.
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Yeah.
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But it can t be your favorite, it s who you are.
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Bernadette, you need to call me Bernie.
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Oh, no, you re not a Bernie.
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All right, well.
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See, you have probably the association of Sex and the City with Samantha.
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Oh, I didn t even think about that.
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But don t you think it s in there, deep recesses of your- That s exactly where I went.
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You did too.
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That s a male thing that you guys think that.
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I don t.
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I think of Samantha as, it s like a beautiful name, often shortened to Sam, which is like playful.
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Playful, fun.
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Yeah.
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Cat and Sam.
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Yeah.
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Okay, so our guest today, you probably, well there s many different ways you might know him.
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You might know him as Lil Dicky, his rap name.
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Yes.
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And you might just know him as Dave from his incredible show on FX.
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Yep.
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But his name is Dave Bird.
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And there is a funny little thing that happens that we ll address immediately into this episode.
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But Dave is a rapper, a comedian, and an actor.
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And his show is called Dave.
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His past album, Professional Rapper, was hugely successful.
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He has some videos that have 750 million views.
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which is mind-boggling.
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But he has a new album out that took me the entire episode to finally learn how to pronounce, but alas, I can do it.
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Peanuth.
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You did it.
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Which is the Dave soundtrack.
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He s had numerous songs on the show Dave, and he s whittled that down to his favorites and is releasing them as a full album called Peanuth.
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Please enjoy Dave Bird.
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He s an armchair expert
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Hey, guys.
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Where are you coming from?
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Venice.
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Do you got a squirt?
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Squirt?
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Go pee-pee?
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No, but I m thirsty.
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Yeah, so we ve got all kinds of options for you.
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We ve got different kinds of water.
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We ve got any beer.
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We ve got a diet coke, and we have coffee.
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We have spearmint tea.
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We have a really nice olive oil.
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All right, I have all the fluids.
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You came all the way from Venice, and you don t have to go pee, but OK.
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And that scares me.
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We can always stop.
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We can stop, yeah.
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There s just no door on it.
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So generally, we allow the guests to... To the bathroom?
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Yeah.
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So what if I said I had to pee, would I leave?
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Yeah, we stepped out.
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Unless we were invited to stay.
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Do you have the same thing I had when I was a young man, where it s like if I was at someone s house and there were girls with an earshot of the bathroom, I really hope my pee sounded really thunderous when it hit the toilet?
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I haven t thought about that, but I believe in that line of thinking.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Oh, then I have to ask you the big question about peeing.
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Sit down, we need to get this all on film.
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You guys don t have a blanket.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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Yeah, there s one behind you, or you can use this quilt of our faces.
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It s not that comfortable.
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Why is it colder in here than it is outside?
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I know, it s freezing in here.
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I m not gonna complain.
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No, you can.
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It s freezing in here.
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It s okay.
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Listen, you re too young to have gotten to do Letterman, so let this be your cold experience.
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Sure.
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Because the Ed Sullivan Theater, when he was there, was famously 59 degrees.
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Why do they do that?
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He likes it crisp, makes him sharper.
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You can relate to that, right?
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SPEAKER_00
Mm-hmm.
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It s never like when it s sweltering, you re fucking popping sharp ideas.
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No.
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I m already gonna go down with it.
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Or greasy.
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Right.
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When I m cold, I m less greasy.
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Well, at the Golden Globes, everyone was freezing because it was so windy.
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And on the red carpet, people were not sharper.
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I ll just say that.
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Oh, they weren t.
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They were flying in past sharpness.
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They were in pain.
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You can be too cold.
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Yeah.
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Well, then that kind of veers into maybe high-altitude sickness kind of oxygen deprivation Not thinking clearly as you re freezing to death wind if there was any sort of fan on I wouldn t be able to do this You want it?
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No, I felt the wind graze me because it would distract you.
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I don t like the feeling but I m cold.
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Yeah
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When I m hot, it s a nice feeling.
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It s a breeze.
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Is this the right distance?
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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You sound great.
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Okay, wait, the question, the big question.
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Because we were talking about peeing, and my friend Liz and I have a question about men peeing outside.
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You know where she s going with this?
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I do, yeah.
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Because he s been asked.
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Oh, okay.
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Two questions.
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One about men peeing outside, and I wanted to know if that was American.
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You know how men just pee a lot outside?
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So we were talking to some British and Australian people.
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They said it s less so there.
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Well, we agree there s less privacy there.
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Are you talking about people in London?
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Like, if you ask people in New York City if they pee outside, no one s peeing outside.
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People with yards pee outside, I think.
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Yeah, but they re like at a barbecue, and then they just go in the corner and pee, still in front of everyone.
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It s definitely a cultural thing.
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But also, when you have friends over, or girls over.
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Hold on now, can he answer that part, about the peeing?
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Do you pee outside a lot?
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I know, that s more of an experiment.
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It was probably, do you pee outside a lot?
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Do you pee outside a lot?
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I don t know what a lot means.
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Like at a barbecue, would you do that?
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Well, especially if it was a nighttime barbecue.
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But I feel like there are plenty of times that I ve noticed in the past decade where I m at a gathering, we re outside, and I ask the homeowner, I say, can I go pee anywhere out here?
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It feels weirdly more respectful, doesn t it, to keep pissing in the toilet?
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I don t want to go inside.
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Other guests will be like, why don t you just use the toilet?
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I like peeing in like mulch.
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You do?
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You like the sensation?
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Because it dampens the sound when it hits?
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It s not like transcendently better than peeing inside.
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I just don t like inefficient movement.
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Yeah.
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So why walk more?
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I m already out there.
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It s just pee.
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I wouldn t shit out there.
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Well, in a pinch you would, but... But I think it s considerate because I m neurotic about my plumbing.
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Even though it s new, I m like, I don t love the idea of having a party in the toilet flushes every nine minutes.
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I think something s going to break.
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I ve never even thought about plumbing.
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You haven t?
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Not once in my life.
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First time I ve ever thought about plumbing.
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Did you grow up with a septic tank or on city sewage?
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No idea, never even thought about it.
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Functional toilet, for sure.
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One of the key ways I would not get my allowance as a child was I used to always forget to flush.
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My parents, they said, that s how we knew you had ADD.
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It s also a kid thing.
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I have two daughters, they don t have ADD, and I find shits in the toilet non-stop.
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And I m like, of all things you could remember you just did, it s take a dump.
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Is there at least toilet paper they re remembering to wipe?
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Well, listen, yes, at this age, but trust me, early on, first thing I d be like, fuck, you didn t flush, and I m like, side note, where s the toilet paper?
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You gotta get back in here and wipe, because that s a little kid thing to do, too, to forget.
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Child entitlement.
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There s a lot of that in this world.
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Okay, wait, the second part of the question is if you have a girl over, do you pee with the door open within the first three dates?
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Would you pee with the door open ever?
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No.
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Just because I know social etiquette would say that s kind of inappropriate.
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Exactly.
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I wouldn t be uncomfortable, but it s not worth it.
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I don t care enough.
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I would just close the door.
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Okay, I like that.
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But back to your original claim that you hate inefficient movements, that certainly is an extraneous thing to open and close a door.
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That s true.
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Keep me straight.
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SPEAKER_00
Love 15.
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Do you live in Venice?
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SPEAKER_01
I do, but I just got a new house, so I m moving.
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Where are you moving to?
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Studio City.
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Okay, perfect.
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So you re coming this way.
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Yeah.
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I ve always lived on the west side of LA since I ve lived here.
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Santa Monica, Venice area.
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How many years?
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2014, so 10.
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So I lived in Santa Monica the first 10 years I lived here.
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Had no idea what was happening.
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That s where I landed and I stayed.
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Yeah, kind of similar.
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And then I found a house just a thousand feet that way.
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And then I moved here and I was like, what was I doing there for 10 years?
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I didn t even look around.
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I like this so much more.
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SPEAKER_01
Why?
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Just so I know.
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SPEAKER_00
Well, Santa Monica.
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Now Venice is different.
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But I lived in Santa Monica for like five of the 10 years.
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Right.
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And by the way, it s gotten better since you ve lived there than when I was there in 95 to 05.
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Sure.
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Which is no young people, no good restaurants, no pop-up stuff, no vibe.
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This is like East Village.
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Santa Monica lacks a vibe.
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It does.
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But Venice is really vibey.
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Maybe too vibey.
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Maybe, but I ve never been to, like, South America, but I just imagine that s what it feels like.
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When I walk around Venice, it feels like I m in a different land.
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It doesn t feel like LA.
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I find a lot of LA, even though it s beautiful weather, I just find a lot of it to be unsightly.
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Like, I don t want to live in West Hollywood.
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So Venice is really charming.
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Now, the plots of land in Venice.
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They re like 7,000 square feet.
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You can t really expand.
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I don t have the yard to pee in.
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I m peeing in potted plants.
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Exactly.
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You have to go to the actual toilet.
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It s so embarrassing.
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Okay, well that s gonna be great Studio City cuz you ve got we love Studio City the lodge I can walk to that lodge.
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I ll tell you the thing that I am the least good at in life is Geography sense of direction knowing where things are you could plot me down in my hometown of Cheltenham, Pennsylvania If I didn t have a GPS, I would just be sleeping in my car Even if I m like eight minute drive away from my home
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I have no idea where anything is.
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I know that where I live is the West because it s close to the water.
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Other than that, I don t know where, like, Pasadena is compared to West Hollywood.
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I know Silver Lake is, like, right, more towards the interior of America.
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You re right.
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And East and West and North and South are a little confusing here because you re on the one-on-one going North and South and then all of a sudden you re going East and West.
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I don t know.
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I don t know anything about highways.
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I Uber everywhere.
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SPEAKER_03
Oh, you do?
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Yeah.
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Do you own a car?
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I do.
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It s a waste of money.
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I m not a good driver.
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Because of the direction thing?
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Maybe.
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I mean, if there is a correlation between spatial... Like, I actually thrived in school in every subject except geometry.
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Could not succeed.
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I had a tutor two times a week, poured my heart into geometry, and the best I could do was get a C. And I was getting A s everywhere else.
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Right.
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Well, you were Summa Cum Laude.
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SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
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Spatial recognition is not my... If you re like moving a table into a room, I cannot help navigate how the doorway... I m just saying, I don t have any of that.
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You have a ton of that.
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SPEAKER_00
You guys would be fucked if you lived together.
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SPEAKER_00
You d have to invite a third person into the marriage to handle these things.
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SPEAKER_01
But luckily there s AI and tech that handles all of this for us.
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It s the right time for us.
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SPEAKER_01
It might be.
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SPEAKER_00
I guess you could maybe get through, I ve yet to see the AI model that moves a couch into a room.
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SPEAKER_03
I have a huge fear of just maps and the GPS system just going down one day.
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SPEAKER_00
Of course.
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SPEAKER_03
And what I would do, there s no way I could get in a car from here without maps and get home.
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SPEAKER_03
I would have to sleep at a hotel.
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SPEAKER_00
You might not ever get home.
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SPEAKER_03
Until the maps were restored.
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Okay, can I tell you the most embarrassing thing?
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SPEAKER_00
It s an embarrassment for me.
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SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
I was looking at the schedule.
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I know you as Dave.
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I know you as Lil Dicky.
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And I didn t know your last name.
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SPEAKER_03
Bird.
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SPEAKER_00
So in my schedule for the last week, I ve been seeing Dave Bird.
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SPEAKER_00
And for me, we do experts, right?
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SPEAKER_00
We do professors.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Yes.
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SPEAKER_00
You thought it was a physicist.
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SPEAKER_00
I did all last night.
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SPEAKER_00
I m like, I got to get on that pretty early tomorrow because it s probably some topic I don t know a ton about.
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SPEAKER_00
That s funny.
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SPEAKER_00
And then when I realized it was you, I was elated.
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I sent both of them a text just cheering for joy.
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SPEAKER_00
I was so happy that it was you.
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SPEAKER_03
I m happy that it worked out.
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SPEAKER_00
I mean, I love Dave so much.
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SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
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SPEAKER_00
We have the same affinity for Brad Pitt.
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SPEAKER_00
I ve dedicated most of my life to worshiping him.
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SPEAKER_03
Have you met him?
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_03
He s better than you imagine.
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SPEAKER_01
Really?
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SPEAKER_01
Tell us.
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SPEAKER_03
Takes your breath away.
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SPEAKER_03
When he walks on set, I m not kidding, like literally he takes my breath away.
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SPEAKER_03
Walks around with such a sense of purpose.
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SPEAKER_03
He treats everyone so well, but he does it in a cool way.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he s not placating.
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SPEAKER_03
No, he s just like cool.
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SPEAKER_00
No pandering.
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SPEAKER_00
No.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s legit.
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SPEAKER_00
It s so legit.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, the circle in which I met him, what I noticed is that he almost instinctually spent the most amount of time learning the names of the people that were on paper lowest status.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
And I was like, this is a very cool move.
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SPEAKER_03
He was really inspiring.
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SPEAKER_03
I can t say enough good things about the man.
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SPEAKER_00
And we re going to get to how on earth that ended up coming to be.
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SPEAKER_00
But I, like everyone else, I just fucking love the show so much.
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SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
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SPEAKER_03
It s just so incredible.
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SPEAKER_03
I appreciate it.
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SPEAKER_00
I m just tickled to get to hear your story.
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SPEAKER_00
Nor did I know it.
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SPEAKER_00
I m kind of embarrassed as well.
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SPEAKER_00
It s good.
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SPEAKER_03
Isn t that better?
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SPEAKER_00
Well, it is for me because now it s exciting and I m not regurgitating shit I knew a long time ago.
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SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
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SPEAKER_00
But you already mentioned Pennsylvania, a suburb of Philadelphia.
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SPEAKER_03
Yep, Cheltenham.
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SPEAKER_00
What did mom and dad do?
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SPEAKER_03
My mom is a therapist.
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SPEAKER_03
Wonderful.
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SPEAKER_03
My dad is a teacher.
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SPEAKER_00
What variety?
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SPEAKER_03
Business administration.
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SPEAKER_03
My childhood, he had two jobs.
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SPEAKER_03
One, he was doing pension plan stuff, and then he transitioned into teaching.
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SPEAKER_00
Does he manage your money for you?
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SPEAKER_03
He doesn t manage it, but he s certainly looped in.
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SPEAKER_00
Okay, good.
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SPEAKER_00
That s nice.
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SPEAKER_00
He s aware.
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SPEAKER_00
That s Monica s dad.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
He s not the business manager, but he s all over it.
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SPEAKER_03
He has to know everything.
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SPEAKER_03
How could he not?
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SPEAKER_00
Because he was the business manager until you got a business manager.
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SPEAKER_00
Is that fair to say?
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SPEAKER_00
He was doing your taxes and stuff.
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SPEAKER_01
Well, I don t like to look at my finances.
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SPEAKER_00
Me neither.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s overwhelming.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s like geometry.
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SPEAKER_01
It s like I can t understand it, so I just have to ignore it.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then when you have a dad, they re like, you can t ignore it.
1
SPEAKER_01
And so they take that on.
1
SPEAKER_00
And you guys are virtually the same age, so.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wow.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m inclined for anything you guys agree on for me to chalk it up as your generation, which would be really a ridiculous way to proceed.
1
SPEAKER_00
Are you not a millennial?
1
SPEAKER_00
No, I m 75.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m old.
1
SPEAKER_00
You re 88?
1
SPEAKER_01
He s born in 75, 90, 75 years old.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that was confusing.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think so.
1
SPEAKER_03
Oh, I thought you were just making a good joke.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
No, I hope to make some of those for you, but that wasn t one of them.
1
SPEAKER_00
1975, I was born.
1
SPEAKER_00
My birthday was last week.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m 49 years old.
1
SPEAKER_03
You re 13, 14 years older than me.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s significant.
1
SPEAKER_00
I could have had you.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well.
1
SPEAKER_00
I only had a single pregnancy scared in my life and it was in junior high.
1
SPEAKER_00
You were 13?
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was in junior high.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was the only one I ever had.
1
SPEAKER_03
You were fucking at 13?
1
SPEAKER_03
I was.
1
SPEAKER_03
I wasn t even close.
1
SPEAKER_01
When were you?
1
SPEAKER_01
Now let s just jump in.
1
SPEAKER_00
I almost had my second spit take of this.
1
SPEAKER_01
Don t make that a thing.
1
SPEAKER_00
I know, I don t want to exploit it.
1
SPEAKER_03
I was like 19, 20.
1
SPEAKER_00
In college.
1
SPEAKER_03
But it wasn t even in college, it was the summer after freshman year of college.
1
SPEAKER_00
Didn t you go to Jewish camp every year?
1
SPEAKER_03
Mm-hmm.
1
SPEAKER_00
Why didn t you get laid there?
1
SPEAKER_03
Oh my God.
1
SPEAKER_03
Laid?
1
SPEAKER_03
What do you mean?
1
SPEAKER_03
Are people not having sex at these camps?
1
SPEAKER_03
They re not having sex.
1
SPEAKER_03
Blowjobs.
1
SPEAKER_03
Fingering, all that, but you gotta understand me.
1
SPEAKER_03
until age 18, 19 was like a total non-starter for any girl or woman.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_03
I just was like the nasty boy who would, yeah, who would do anything to make everyone.
1
SPEAKER_03
First off, I wasn t traditionally attractive.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was watching the early videos of you today.
1
SPEAKER_03
That s when I was like 25 years old.
1
SPEAKER_03
What do you mean?
1
SPEAKER_03
I m talking about when I was like 12 years old.
1
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
You were all fucked up.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s adolescence.
1
SPEAKER_03
A lot of my friends, like popular, cool guys.
1
SPEAKER_03
And I was popular.
1
SPEAKER_03
You re class clown.
1
SPEAKER_03
Class clown, but I was very sweet and I would have a lot of best friends who I was in love with.
1
SPEAKER_03
And then after like three years, maybe they d realize, wait a minute, maybe you re who I should kiss right now.
1
SPEAKER_03
And I d have like a two week window and then yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
But I imagine you deeply wanted to be kissing girls.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Stroking and fingering and all that.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yes, more just the connection romantically than because I m sure you re aware that I was born with a fucked up dick.
1
SPEAKER_03
Tangled urethra.
1
SPEAKER_03
Exactly.
1
SPEAKER_01
Not everyone knows that.
1
SPEAKER_01
I didn t know that.
1
SPEAKER_01
For the audience that doesn t know.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yes, I was born, I had this thing called, I still have it, hypospadias.
1
SPEAKER_03
I think there was actually a few issues that were happening.
1
SPEAKER_03
One, there was hypospadias, which is like your pee hole s in the wrong spot.
1
SPEAKER_00
Not at the end of your glands.
1
SPEAKER_03
No, it s like on the bot.
1
SPEAKER_03
Sure.
1
SPEAKER_03
But honestly, it s close.
1
SPEAKER_03
I didn t even know, I put together the puzzle pieces of what everything meant when I was like 15.
1
SPEAKER_03
Another issue was, separate to that, my urethra was tangled.
1
SPEAKER_03
So they had to do surgery and untangle it.
1
SPEAKER_03
So there s scars.
1
SPEAKER_00
You had five surgeries or something?
1
SPEAKER_00
Not five, two.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay, I m exaggerating.
1
SPEAKER_00
Two, okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
Five of you might not have a dick anymore.
1
SPEAKER_03
One of the surgeries caused these little things called sutures to start popping up, which honestly looked like poppy seeds, like just growing on your dick.
1
SPEAKER_03
And I was like, mom, we gotta get rid of these poppy seeds.
1
SPEAKER_03
And then one of the poppy seeds, I can t remember this, I can just tell you the facts at hand, where there was a poppy seed is now just like a very small hole.
1
SPEAKER_00
Because was it a bit of thread that had dissolved or come out when the sutures were removed?
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_03
I just know that now when I pee, it comes out of two holes.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
1
SPEAKER_00
So all the better to be in the backyard.
1
SPEAKER_03
Every time I pee, I pee a little bit on my nuts.
1
SPEAKER_00
Sure.
1
SPEAKER_03
My nuts have just been soaked with piss the whole life.
1
SPEAKER_00
Right.
1
SPEAKER_03
But it s antiseptic.
1
SPEAKER_03
It s fine.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know what I wanted to say, though?
1
SPEAKER_00
A, it s so admirably vulnerable that you did go into that in season one.
1
SPEAKER_03
It was a big secret my whole life prior, too.
1
SPEAKER_03
I m sure it was fucking killing you.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, it was.
1
SPEAKER_03
When I lost my virginity, my thought wasn t, yes, I lost my virginity.
1
SPEAKER_03
My main thought was, yes, I have a functional dick.
1
SPEAKER_03
Right.
1
SPEAKER_03
But I didn t know if it would function properly.
1
SPEAKER_00
My erections curved a little bit.
1
SPEAKER_00
That haunted me.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s all I thought about, just that.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
You re obsessed with this notion that your penis has to look exactly like the ones you ve seen in pornography.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay, but back to the tangled urethra and the hypo everyone reading about today.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s common.
1
SPEAKER_00
One in every 250 male births has this.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s right.
1
SPEAKER_00
So what I wanted to say was, in a country with almost 200 million men, I m certain that you putting that on season one made almost a million guys just go like, oh my God, thank God.
1
SPEAKER_00
For sure, I received emails.
1
SPEAKER_00
I bet.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s like very sweet when I think about how much they must have also been just fucking yeah paralyzed by it.
1
SPEAKER_03
I love that That s one of my favorite things to do and art is to make people feel better about whatever they re going through Yeah, I have a similar kink.
1
SPEAKER_00
I talk pretty
1
SPEAKER_00
openly about stuff that s quite shameful and embarrassing.
1
SPEAKER_03
We re all going through some shit, dick or no dick.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s right.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay, somehow we got on your penis really quick.
1
SPEAKER_03
What I was saying was I actually wasn t in a rush to go far.
1
SPEAKER_03
I wanted to be in love.
1
SPEAKER_03
There were times where opportunities were on the table and I was like, I m not going to go there tonight because I m not ready.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then once it started and you got over it,
1
SPEAKER_00
Were you like, why did I make that much out of it?
1
SPEAKER_00
For sure.
1
SPEAKER_03
As an adult, I can sit down with a group of men and take them through my dick and they would be fascinated.
1
SPEAKER_03
You would be on the ground laughing, your eyes would be wide.
1
SPEAKER_03
But from what I gather, I just think most women, maybe they don t care, but I just think they don t necessarily know what a dick is supposed to look like.
1
SPEAKER_03
It s all the same.
1
SPEAKER_01
As long as they re feeling pleasure from it, that s all that really matters.
1
SPEAKER_00
This is a thousand percent true because I ve asked my wife, if I lined up 20 of the dicks that you ve had,
1
SPEAKER_00
would you be able to pair them with the guys?
1
SPEAKER_00
And she s like, no.
1
SPEAKER_03
Now I ll say this.
1
SPEAKER_03
My parents said it s enough of the dick stuff.
1
SPEAKER_00
They have.
1
SPEAKER_03
They said, I m so sick of every interview and everything you do.
1
SPEAKER_03
We re not talking about this because I think it s like slapstick funny.
1
SPEAKER_00
I just think it s a defining trait.
1
SPEAKER_00
So mom and dad, if you re listening.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, look, I think it s clear that that s not the spirit of how we re talking.
1
SPEAKER_00
Good.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s clear to you.
1
SPEAKER_00
My boys tell me your dick s fucked up.
1
SPEAKER_00
What s going on?
1
SPEAKER_00
That s not happening.
1
SPEAKER_01
Mom and dad, cut everyone some slack here.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
So when you go away to college,
2
SPEAKER_03
Obviously, by this point, you already love music, and I m assuming you love comedies.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I didn t grow up thinking I was gonna be a musician.
2
SPEAKER_00
I grew up thinking I was gonna be, like, the next great comedian.
2
SPEAKER_03
Right, wonderful.
2
SPEAKER_03
Who were you looking up to at that point?
2
SPEAKER_00
Adam Sandler, Larry David, Seth Rogen.
2
SPEAKER_00
Superbad came out right around then.
2
SPEAKER_00
Will Smith.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, sure.
2
SPEAKER_00
Talk about an inspiration.
2
SPEAKER_00
A funny comedy rapper from Philadelphia who really defined cool.
2
SPEAKER_00
Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, top three show of all time for me.
2
SPEAKER_03
And then he s in Bad Boys, and you re like, wait, he s a bad motherfucker too?
2
SPEAKER_03
Bad boy.
2
SPEAKER_03
And then he s Ali?
2
SPEAKER_03
He s everything.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, what a journey to follow.
2
SPEAKER_03
I looked up to Allen Iverson.
2
SPEAKER_03
Okay, AI.
2
SPEAKER_00
Talk about a guy instilling hip-hop culture in you.
2
SPEAKER_00
My god was Allen.
2
SPEAKER_00
13 years old, he s taking us to the finals on his back.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, and he s so good looking.
2
SPEAKER_03
And he s so cool.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yes, with the fucking huge diamond earrings.
2
SPEAKER_00
They re having to change the rules of how you dress because he s so culturally ahead.
2
SPEAKER_03
No, he was.
2
SPEAKER_03
He was the coolest ever.
2
SPEAKER_03
So when you go into college, though, well, clearly you end up getting a career before you pursue any of this.
2
SPEAKER_03
But are you thinking, I m going to go there and just get this thing, make my parents happy, or I m going to go there and I m going to study something that I ll turn into a career?
2
SPEAKER_00
First off, not going to college just didn t feel like something that people did, unless you were like Mark Zuckerberg.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, totally.
2
SPEAKER_00
I went there, I m just realistic.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was like, look, I obviously have pie-in-the-sky dreams, but none of those pie-in-the-sky dreams are going to happen during this four-year period of college, and they re probably not going to happen for like the three years after college as well.
2
SPEAKER_00
So if my pie-in-the-sky dreams of being the next Larry David don t come true, which even though I certainly believe it, I m also just a logical human being, I would like to be set up to where the most realistic version of my life would still be relatively satisfying.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I thought, what do I love to do the most?
2
SPEAKER_00
Be creative.
2
SPEAKER_00
What is a career in corporate America where creativity is allowed and valued?
2
SPEAKER_00
Advertising.
2
SPEAKER_00
What schools have good marketing undergraduate programs?
2
SPEAKER_00
University of Richmond.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I really went in there from the beginning being like, I m trying to position myself to get hired at a great ad agency.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I did.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
What was college experience like?
2
SPEAKER_03
Because if you re summa cum laude, I m not going to say that a lot to you because I was magna and I wish people would bring it up more in interviews when I m not.
2
SPEAKER_00
What a waste of effort.
2
SPEAKER_00
It is.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s why I made my- You never hear about it again.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s truly why I made my first album art, my resume.
2
SPEAKER_00
because I feel as though I put so much work from the age of 18 to like 24 into getting that resume and then I became a professional rapper and it all felt like all that effort for what and I was like I need to highlight so it s front and center my GPA I just worked so hard yeah good so I want to just keep drilling this in summa cum laude this is huge this is above magna also thank you yeah Monica was summa I was go dogs go dogs
2
SPEAKER_03
What are the Richmond, Virginia go-whats?
2
SPEAKER_03
Spiders.
2
SPEAKER_01
Ooh, the Spideys.
2
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_01
Ooh, Spidey senses.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
So freshman year, Richmond is very preppy.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, right.
2
SPEAKER_00
Old South money.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Everyone s wearing like purple pants and croquis.
2
SPEAKER_00
Initially, I was like, whoa.
2
SPEAKER_00
Are these people my people?
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_00
I might transfer.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I knew that if I got really good grades, what you don t realize is in high school, you get your grades and you re very limited options of how far you can take it.
2
SPEAKER_00
My mom and dad were like, don t even apply to any Ivy League school.
2
SPEAKER_00
But if you get like a 4.0 freshman year at any reasonable university, you can just transfer to like Harvard.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you can?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yes, you can transfer to Penn.
2
SPEAKER_00
If you get a 4.0 at University of Richmond, you can go to any Ivy League school.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s weird.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I worked so hard freshman year to get good grades.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then by the end of freshman year, I kind of found my people.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, I actually like it here.
2
SPEAKER_00
But my GPA was so good that I was like, I can t let this go.
2
SPEAKER_00
So competitively, I was like, I can t let it get lower.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I just worked so hard to have a 393 GPA.
2
SPEAKER_00
Your margin for error is so slim, as I m sure you know.
2
SPEAKER_00
You can include me.
2
SPEAKER_02
I mean, it s different.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, the school I went to, too, is Malahari.
2
SPEAKER_00
Anyways, continue.
2
SPEAKER_00
I just wanted to put myself in the best position to live my ideal life, which in my ignorant brain was, get the best grades, you re going to get the best job interview opportunities.
2
SPEAKER_03
You know, there s something beautifully Buddhist about this, which is you do the best that you can do at whatever thing you re fucking doing.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s what college taught me, which still applies to my present day.
2
SPEAKER_00
People say, like, you probably learned how to market yourself at school, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
I m like, not at all.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t remember anything I learned.
2
SPEAKER_00
I just learned that if I apply myself, I can succeed.
2
SPEAKER_00
And that is a valuable thing along with the socialization benefits of not having the pressures of the real world and being able to ease into adulthood that college privilege provided.
2
SPEAKER_03
Now, you go immediately to San Francisco?
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
To take this job, or you go there and get the job?
2
SPEAKER_00
To take the job.
2
SPEAKER_00
To take the job.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m not that reckless.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay, I didn t presume so.
2
SPEAKER_03
I ve never done anything that crazy in my life.
2
SPEAKER_03
Right, that d be wild in a wild city to pick to do it in.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Wait, can we pause real quick, because I am finding this really interesting, because I don t know that much about you, but I feel like who you are already is so different than what I thought you were.
2
SPEAKER_02
What I thought you were gonna be when you came in here.
2
SPEAKER_02
I thought you were gonna be like- Look at my dick.
2
SPEAKER_02
Check out this dick.
2
SPEAKER_03
There s only one in 250 of these, baby.
2
SPEAKER_02
Not that, but just maybe the word reckless, maybe, or spontaneous.
2
SPEAKER_03
So the opposite.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that s so interesting.
2
SPEAKER_03
He s not a daredevil.
2
SPEAKER_03
He s not a thrill seeker.
2
SPEAKER_03
I m so risk averse.
2
SPEAKER_03
He hates roller coasters.
2
SPEAKER_03
I know a lot about you.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I think a lot of people will find this surprising.
2
SPEAKER_03
Do you watch the show?
2
SPEAKER_02
You be honest.
2
SPEAKER_03
I haven t seen it, that s why.
2
SPEAKER_00
If you re only experiencing Lil Dicky, the musical artist being Mr. Whatever,
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you re right.
2
SPEAKER_00
The show contextualizes everything.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m not that guy.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m cooler.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, you re very cool.
2
SPEAKER_02
I like it.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m liking it.
2
SPEAKER_03
This is very much how you are on the show.
2
SPEAKER_03
Obviously it gets more and more exaggerated, as it would when success comes and we ll explore that.
2
SPEAKER_03
But when you go to San Francisco, now this is a second kind of big, huge cultural shift.
2
SPEAKER_03
Are you lost when you get there or do you land completely on your feet?
2
SPEAKER_03
I m lost.
2
SPEAKER_00
I start working eight days.
2
SPEAKER_03
Okay, so you didn t have time to feel- No, I never felt lost.
2
SPEAKER_00
I started working there.
2
SPEAKER_00
Also, there s another game that was being played where I wanted to be in the creative side of life.
2
SPEAKER_00
But to work as a creative in the ad industry, you have to have a portfolio.
2
SPEAKER_00
You have to go to graduate school.
2
SPEAKER_00
I had none of that.
2
SPEAKER_00
I had a business degree with a concentration in marketing.
2
SPEAKER_00
So when I went in there,
2
SPEAKER_00
I went into this account management department.
2
SPEAKER_00
Let s say Frito-Lay, for example, Doritos, they want to make ads.
2
SPEAKER_00
They hire an ad agency and there s a buffer between the creative people that are making their ads and the people that communicate with Frito-Lay corporate.
2
SPEAKER_00
And that s me, but that s not even me.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m like the lowest man on the totem pole.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m like taking notes and like sending emails.
2
SPEAKER_00
Not at all what I was good at, not at all what I wanted to do, but I got my foot in the door to look around and be like, do I even want to do this for a living?
2
SPEAKER_00
I think I want to do it, but it felt kind of reckless to go two years to graduate school, spend like 60 grand and build a portfolio when I don t even know if I want to do it.
2
SPEAKER_00
You haven t got to try it.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I ve always believed that if I got in the door, I ve always felt special.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I felt like there would be a way that I could pivot within the agency itself and show them how dynamic I am once I m there.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I did.
2
SPEAKER_03
What s important is it s the second time where rap has kind of materialized in a way.
2
SPEAKER_03
So the first time being when he was in fifth grade, you did a report on Pushkin.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you do.
2
SPEAKER_03
Right.
2
SPEAKER_03
And you rapped it.
2
SPEAKER_03
And that was your first time rapping.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Alexander Pushkin, a Russian.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t even remember much about him.
2
SPEAKER_03
Do you know that s what Malcolm Gladwell s company is called, Pushkin?
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah, that s right.
2
SPEAKER_00
Really?
2
SPEAKER_00
I did not.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
His podcast empire is Pushkin.
2
SPEAKER_00
And it s based off of?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, then, you know, 10,000 hours.
2
SPEAKER_03
You guys might be soulmates that haven t yet met.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
But you got an A on that.
2
SPEAKER_00
I got an A on that.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I ll try to tell the most condensed version of the story.
2
SPEAKER_00
We re here for four hours.
2
SPEAKER_03
Don t feel pressured to do so.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, I think it is interesting.
2
SPEAKER_00
Basically, I m the low man on the totem pole.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m trying to become a rising star in this agency.
2
SPEAKER_00
I only interface with the big wigs at this company once every three months when I send this email showing how the Doritos chip sales have been improving or not improving based on the ads that we re running.
2
SPEAKER_00
That whole document was a template given to me by the assistant account manager before me, a painfully boring thing.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was like, why don t I deliver this information and data via a rap song one day?
2
SPEAKER_03
This is a huge swing.
2
SPEAKER_00
It is.
2
SPEAKER_03
So this is the bizarre dichotomy of you, which is like risk adverse.
2
SPEAKER_03
And then also I think I m going to try to hit a grand slam in this moment.
2
SPEAKER_00
But it s no risk.
2
SPEAKER_00
I knew that this agency, they re fun.
2
SPEAKER_00
Everyone s cool and young.
2
SPEAKER_03
They almost are forced to like it because that s supposed to be the spirit of the place.
2
SPEAKER_00
But it really is the spirit of the place.
2
SPEAKER_00
I give a lot of credit to this company, Goodby Silverstein and Partners.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know that I would be here without them.
2
SPEAKER_00
I felt bad, actually, when I made an episode in season two where I was kind of implying that I was trapped in this corporate maze trying to break out because I really did love it there.
2
SPEAKER_03
No, it s the second best thing to show business is bad business.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
And there s so much crossover.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, there is crossover.
2
SPEAKER_00
And there s a lot of talented people.
2
SPEAKER_00
But they encouraged people to go off and do their own thing.
2
SPEAKER_00
And every year when I was there, they did a grant for 50 grand where they d be like, go for your dreams.
2
SPEAKER_00
I even submitted Lil Dicky as a candidate for that and did not win.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I did this rap song.
2
SPEAKER_00
Everyone was like, who the hell is that guy?
2
SPEAKER_00
They were like, go make a video for it.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then all of a sudden I m realizing there s a whole little production wing of this agency.
2
SPEAKER_00
And when I grew up and I thought of rap videos, I thought of like Puffy and Biggie on a yacht.
2
SPEAKER_00
Totally.
2
SPEAKER_00
I didn t realize that the technology was there where we just went into a room and we shot slow motion footage and it really looked and felt like a real rap video.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then that was more love.
2
SPEAKER_00
Then that got to the head of the creative department and they were like, that guy needs to be in the creative department.
2
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then I switched, and then I was the youngest guy in the creative department.
2
SPEAKER_00
How great is that?
2
SPEAKER_00
That guy ran the NBA account.
2
SPEAKER_03
If your life ended there, it s already a success.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was so proud.
2
SPEAKER_00
And this guy ran the NBA account, and he knew that I was really creative and knew basketball, and he let me run with the whole playoff campaign.
2
SPEAKER_00
I wrote 10 commercials for the NBA.
2
SPEAKER_00
At what age? 22.
2
SPEAKER_01
Wow, that s so great.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I picked the music.
2
SPEAKER_00
I found the footage.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was so empowering.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I really feel like the satisfaction I got when I would see my commercials come up on TV when I was 22 is equal to the satisfaction I felt when I see me and Brad Pitt.
3
SPEAKER_02
I was going to just say that exact thing.
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t want to fast forward too much, but I will say when I look back on my own life, nothing topped those early things.
3
SPEAKER_02
Because there was actually something spiritual and foundational, which is, oh, I can be effective in the world.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes, you live your whole life thinking you re special.
3
SPEAKER_00
But are you?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but are you?
3
SPEAKER_00
Maybe.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then here I am all of a sudden.
3
SPEAKER_00
And like, if I can be special here, I always said these guys that I idolized didn t begin as anything more than everyone s funny friend.
3
SPEAKER_02
Right.
3
SPEAKER_02
And they just put their mind to it.
3
SPEAKER_02
You re very big on dreaming, which I like.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s very sweet.
3
SPEAKER_02
So but that, of course, then encourages you to start making your own videos.
3
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I m like, wow, look at where the tech is at here, guys.
3
SPEAKER_00
I recorded that song on my computer, GarageBand, like I have a built in recording studio on the laptop that I just happened to buy by default.
3
SPEAKER_00
That didn t exist 10 years prior.
3
SPEAKER_00
There s YouTube where I m seeing guys like Lonely Island, Andy Samberg, making funny rap videos that are going super viral.
3
SPEAKER_00
I can shoot these videos with this company has all the equipment.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was all right in front of me.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I thought, you know, if they re going so crazy at this company, that s a really valued and respected company about me making funny videos about sales data.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Imagine if I took my most memorable comedic ideas and applied it to that.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so I started thinking in that way.
3
SPEAKER_00
I found this guy, Brian Storm, who was doing all the rap videos in Oakland and I got with him and it was just a beautiful partnership.
3
SPEAKER_00
You cold called him?
3
SPEAKER_00
One of the producers at this agency that I worked at did this program where they worked with filmmakers in Oakland and undiscovered talent.
3
SPEAKER_00
He connected me with him.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then I looked at his videos and I was like, these look kind of cool.
3
SPEAKER_00
Of course I want to be a comedian and make movies and make curb your enthusiasm, but it didn t feel feasible to like shoot scenes and then be compared to like those things that would look shitty.
3
SPEAKER_00
But rap videos, you can really make it in a DIY way.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I had $6,000 saved for my bar mitzvah.
3
SPEAKER_00
that my parents refused to let me spend along the way.
3
SPEAKER_00
And they didn t want me to spend it on rap videos, but I was like, what am I going to do?
3
SPEAKER_00
Buy like a high-end couch?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you have a job.
3
SPEAKER_01
Give money.
3
SPEAKER_00
I wasn t making money.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was making $36,000, but cost of living in San Francisco.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I was making a profit.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was like, I m not losing money.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I did have that $6,000, which of course is the biggest privilege gift you could ever have.
3
SPEAKER_00
I just made four different rap videos.
3
SPEAKER_02
This is the chunk where you take two years and you write 32 songs and shoot 16 videos.
3
SPEAKER_02
Are we there yet?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, we re there.
3
SPEAKER_02
So this process begins at this moment.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
But it takes you two years.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, because I wanted to succeed and I was like, who knows what s going to happen?
3
SPEAKER_00
Right now, I m really on a path to be a creative director.
3
SPEAKER_00
You got shit on television.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I would never have been satisfied in life if what happened didn t happen.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I always knew I would go for it.
3
SPEAKER_00
And that s what happens with a lot of people.
3
SPEAKER_00
I feel like you get caught in a corporate maze of success.
3
SPEAKER_00
You take on commitments.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then there s like six years have gone by and my life has been a fairy tale, to be honest with you.
3
SPEAKER_00
So nice.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it is so nice.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so, and all I do is complain.
3
SPEAKER_02
We re gonna get to that too.
3
SPEAKER_02
Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert.
3
SPEAKER_02
So 2013 is when So Hard is the mixtape, which took two years, and then you decide to release one song a week for five months.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then the first video you released, Ex-Boyfriend, got a million views in 24 hours.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s the one.
3
SPEAKER_00
Making ads is cool, but it s like all my friends and family, when I ve started working obsessively on becoming a rapper out of nowhere, truly I could tell in their eyes, they were like, he is losing it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
How does anyone know, I have children, like how does anyone know whether their child is a delusional narcissist?
3
SPEAKER_00
You don t, you don t, I don t blame my parents for feeling that way.
3
SPEAKER_02
No, I m just, it s a very hard thing to evaluate.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s hard to evaluate.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like has this person flew off into outer space on us?
3
SPEAKER_00
That s why I m so happy that within eight hours I had, I told you so.
3
SPEAKER_00
From there on, all I needed was like a spark.
3
SPEAKER_00
I got the biggest spark.
3
SPEAKER_00
Literally day two, I m in my cubicle at work doing an interview with TMZ with that guy, Harvey.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, with Harvey.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, like live.
3
SPEAKER_00
He sent you a big dog.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, truly.
3
SPEAKER_00
And like hoping my boss doesn t walk in.
3
SPEAKER_01
What?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Also, you could have easily gone down like a bad cult leader route.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because there s so much validation that you know what you re doing or the specialness or things go well for me.
3
SPEAKER_01
I obviously have figured it out and I did this and in eight hours I got this.
3
SPEAKER_01
I should probably start a cult.
3
SPEAKER_00
It just felt like I am who I thought I was.
3
SPEAKER_00
It didn t feel like new information.
3
SPEAKER_00
I felt like, oh, thank God that I m not crazy.
3
SPEAKER_00
I wasn t delusional.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I wasn t delusional.
3
SPEAKER_00
Immediately in my mind, then and there, I was like, okay, so of course I m gonna pursue this fully, I m gonna quit eventually.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I had all the clarity off of one day of success, and I had all the assets to continue to ride that because I literally stockpiled all these different videos and songs so every week for five months I can put something new out.
3
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_02
I could build on it.
3
SPEAKER_02
Okay, and I wanna just fast forward to season one now, and this is a joy that Monica hasn t got to experience yet.
3
SPEAKER_02
You re watching this show, it s straight hysterical from the get-go.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I m completely ignorant on everything in this world, right?
3
SPEAKER_02
So I m not sure if it s just like me doing a Groundlings character on an FX show.
3
SPEAKER_02
If I m an actor playing a rapper.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t know what s going on, right?
3
SPEAKER_02
Which is so fun.
3
SPEAKER_02
And it s delayed for a while, which I like.
3
SPEAKER_02
Then all of a sudden Dave raps.
3
SPEAKER_02
And you re like, holy fuck.
3
SPEAKER_02
That was my reaction.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like, this is for real, no shit.
3
SPEAKER_00
We re playing for keeps.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s right.
3
SPEAKER_02
Shit just got real.
3
SPEAKER_02
So I m curious.
3
SPEAKER_02
The skill set, let s just say in season one, let s give it an arbitrary number.
3
SPEAKER_02
Let s say it s 10.
3
SPEAKER_00
I like that.
3
SPEAKER_02
I mean, obviously we ve gone beyond that, I m sure.
3
SPEAKER_02
But let s just say it s 10 for reference.
3
SPEAKER_02
When you re making this first mixtape so hard, what is the skill level at?
3
SPEAKER_02
Three, in my opinion.
3
SPEAKER_02
There s a whole technique you re developing, but that requires development.
3
SPEAKER_00
Totally.
3
SPEAKER_00
My ideas have always been there, but the execution, horrible.
3
SPEAKER_00
And when you re executing horribly and rapping and you re white, it s like, please.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s why I m so excited about putting this new body of music out, because even my first album, 2015, the skill level probably got to like a seven.
3
SPEAKER_00
I have no body of work that I would be happy to have Jay-Z sitting and listening to.
3
SPEAKER_00
Everything else I d be like, Jay, please don t listen.
3
SPEAKER_00
But now if Jay-Z listened to this new project, I d be like, cool, he s getting a present day version of what I ve evolved to.
3
SPEAKER_00
Back to Malcolm, it works like a sport, and the more time you put into it, the better you get.
3
SPEAKER_02
If we could think of the different metrics that are adding up to these videos, there s three elements going up.
3
SPEAKER_02
There s the music, there s also the creativity of your video, and then there s whatever charisma you have as the person we re watching, right?
3
SPEAKER_02
And so if we had to evaluate at that moment when the first one comes out and it s huge, what do you think s carrying it?
3
SPEAKER_02
The concept?
3
SPEAKER_02
The charisma.
3
SPEAKER_00
and the idea.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ve always had solid ideas.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s weird because I wanted to be a comedian.
3
SPEAKER_00
Never thought of myself as like a serious rapper.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I ve always loved rap.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then I made a song called Russell Westbrook on a farm, which even now I wouldn t recommend to Jay-Z, but it s better than a lot.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I put that out and all my fans who had previously been like, I love this funny energy that you probably thought I would have.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Then I put that out and it s like introspective and not at all relying on humor as a crush in any way.
3
SPEAKER_01
Summa Cum Laude.
3
SPEAKER_00
Summa Cum Laude.
3
SPEAKER_00
Coming through.
3
SPEAKER_00
Honesty.
3
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
3
SPEAKER_00
Honesty.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I feel like people like that more than my other stuff.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then I just got really competitive.
3
SPEAKER_00
Do you follow Mark Ribley at all?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
Okay, so I love him.
3
SPEAKER_02
The similar thing happened for me is like, I m watching all these things, the first one I ever saw is like, Show Me Your Ass, which I love.
3
SPEAKER_02
Show Me That Butthole, remember that favorite one?
3
SPEAKER_02
We ve seen him, Monica and I, a few times in concert.
3
SPEAKER_02
He s great.
3
SPEAKER_02
But every now and then he drops these songs that are so insanely beautiful, and they re only a minute, and I wanna kill him and go like, make that whole thing that s so outrageously beautiful, you can do that, please give me that.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I m imagining you were having the same experience.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, that s why I like the position I m in now where before when I was making music, I was honestly making music to desperately get attention from the South Park guys or like Seth Rogen.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was like throwing shit up there and I d be like, this is a great idea that s funny that I ll get hired as like a comedian.
3
SPEAKER_00
And now that I ve achieved all of those things, I can just make music for the love of making music.
3
SPEAKER_02
Which is a tricky spot, actually, to be creative from.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s my very last thing I want to explore.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s very, very dicey.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
What happens immediately, though, which is, I think, very unique in your story, is you do have this very asymmetric success among peers and idols.
3
SPEAKER_02
The first video comes out and Kevin Durant hits you up.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wow.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s really odd for a video, right, that gets a million.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then this has been a really consistent thing, which is, I would say, among your peers and the people here, you re maybe the most popular guy there is.
3
SPEAKER_02
The metrics across the country don t reflect that.
3
SPEAKER_02
Not that you re not hugely successful, but it s asymmetric.
3
SPEAKER_00
I agree completely.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know what I m saying?
3
SPEAKER_00
I ve never spoken about it.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s very unique.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
Every artist and person in the industry, I feel like, has an even higher appreciation than a Joe Schmo might.
3
SPEAKER_02
I mean, the fact that Brad Pitt agrees to come, that just says every single thing, but at that point, there had already been already so many people who, again, it s just very asymmetric and interesting.
3
SPEAKER_00
I wish it was full symmetric.
3
SPEAKER_01
Most people have it reversed.
3
SPEAKER_01
Those people would obviously think, all I want is the respect from my peers.
3
SPEAKER_01
I would rather have the respect from my peers.
3
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I can t tell you how many friends I ve had who were on mega hit things, shows, movies, whatever, and they re tortured with the fact that they know no one in town has seen it.
3
SPEAKER_00
But, you know, I m tortured too, like in a different way.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t get invited to the Golden Globes.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s shocking to me.
3
SPEAKER_01
This year?
3
SPEAKER_00
Ever.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t care that much.
3
SPEAKER_00
There is a disconnect when I m like, wow, I can make a movie and get everyone in the world to be in it because they all believe in me as a writer.
3
SPEAKER_00
Which is way more important than getting invited.
3
SPEAKER_01
But it still hurts.
4
SPEAKER_02
sometimes or feels.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think it s actually healthy.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t think you should have all this shit.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think you re right.
4
SPEAKER_01
But let s go to a really quick touchdown from 2013 when that thing comes out and it gets a million views, which is bonkers in 24 hours.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then you, in 2014, Save Dat Money actually charts on Billboard 100.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that was cool.
4
SPEAKER_01
Goes double platinum.
4
SPEAKER_01
Now you re getting to work with some pretty crazy fucking people, artist-wise.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I m making songs with Snoop Dogg and T-Pain and all these people.
4
SPEAKER_00
Are you having in these moments, are you having like imposter syndrome or do you just walk in and own that you re having it?
4
SPEAKER_00
This is the analogy I say, it sounds so arrogant.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I really just am a guy that evaluates the facts at hand.
4
SPEAKER_00
I ve always felt like I was this for comedy and I didn t think I was ever musical or anything.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I just think I kind of discovered
4
SPEAKER_00
accidentally that I am a great musician.
4
SPEAKER_01
I heard you say you were using it as a vehicle to pursue comedy.
4
SPEAKER_01
And in the process, you actually fell in love with music.
4
SPEAKER_00
I fell in love with it, but I also can t believe that I m this talented at that.
4
SPEAKER_00
So the analogy I make, and I don t mean this arrogantly, it s like believing your whole life that you re Superman and finding out not only are you Superman, you re also Batman.
4
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I m a competitive guy and I m like, oh my God, fuck comedy.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m fucking Eminem.
4
SPEAKER_00
I want to be like the best rapper of all time.
4
SPEAKER_00
Even today, sitting here, I literally feel like I m one of the five best rappers alive.
4
SPEAKER_00
My body of work in no way reflects that, but I know that I can achieve that.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m not saying I know I can achieve that.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think what you re saying is you have the capacity.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I m not saying that I will ever be acknowledged at that, nor do I even deserve to be acknowledged at that.
4
SPEAKER_00
I just think that I have a lot of skill as a musician.
4
SPEAKER_01
It sounds really good and I agree with it until we start naming a few before.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s not five.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s not five.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s like 20.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s like 20.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and then all of a sudden you re like at 10.
4
SPEAKER_00
It might be 30.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s not five at all.
4
SPEAKER_00
But still, what I find is I actually am like a rapper s rapper.
4
SPEAKER_00
The way that Brad Pitt appreciates my filmmaking, rappers appreciate- Well, that becomes clear with how many people immediately show up to work with you, which is- It s a lesson in confidence.
4
SPEAKER_02
You ve believed in yourself this whole time, and then things come to fruition.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
So in 2015, Professional Rapper, his debut album, peaked at seven on Billboard.
4
SPEAKER_00
I will say Led Zeppelin also, I think, put out three remastered albums on that same date, so it would have been four.
4
SPEAKER_00
Those bastards.
4
SPEAKER_00
But Zeppelin had three albums.
4
SPEAKER_01
But kind of Led Zeppelin, though.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s cool.
4
SPEAKER_02
But that is, yeah, caveat.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, the second best rock band of all time beat you.
4
SPEAKER_01
Just three albums in one day, not something I was expecting.
4
SPEAKER_01
Unforeseen, no one warned me about and it was rough.
4
SPEAKER_00
But it was cool.
4
SPEAKER_00
Seven is great.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I m curious now because you re on such a run musically.
4
SPEAKER_01
Are you starting to let go of your comedy fantasy?
4
SPEAKER_00
I feel like my career is like a tale of being stretched too thin.
4
SPEAKER_00
I didn t forget, but I was putting off what I initially started doing it for because I was like, I m a young man.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m a rapper.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m on stage at festivals.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s so fun.
4
SPEAKER_00
And this is cool.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I focus on music, but then I finally get back to the TV show eventually.
4
SPEAKER_00
And now I kind of am at a point today where I m like,
4
SPEAKER_00
I ve abandoned music.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m letting that slip away.
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, it s been a minute since you had an album.
4
SPEAKER_01
Eight years.
4
SPEAKER_01
Penth is what we re here to promote.
4
SPEAKER_01
Peneth.
4
SPEAKER_01
Peneth.
4
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
Spelled P-E-N-T-H.
4
SPEAKER_02
P-E-N-I-T-H.
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh, maybe it was a typo.
4
SPEAKER_01
Just for luck s sake.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m glad you just corrected me.
4
SPEAKER_00
Penth.
4
SPEAKER_00
No.
4
SPEAKER_00
P-E-N-I-T-H.
4
SPEAKER_00
Peneth.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like the zenith.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay, peanut.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s why your parents were like it.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s a soundtrack album for the show.
4
SPEAKER_00
Whenever I get free time I just make music and I fill up a vault over time and then it s time to make the show and the show is about a rapper so you gotta put music in the show.
4
SPEAKER_00
You gotta plug in something.
4
SPEAKER_00
And this is just a collection of work that I love that I think stands apart.
4
SPEAKER_00
My goal is you can listen to this album having never seen the show and still love it.
4
SPEAKER_00
But everything that appears in this album are songs that have appeared in the show so you ll have a higher appreciation for it if you watch it.
4
SPEAKER_01
No, if we play Mr. McAdams for Monica right now, having never seen the show, she s gonna love that song.
4
SPEAKER_01
Do you love Rachel?
4
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna love it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
Talk to her.
4
SPEAKER_01
She loves it.
4
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_02
I do love Rachel McAdams.
4
SPEAKER_01
Who doesn t?
4
SPEAKER_01
We re missing one piece which I think is relevant.
4
SPEAKER_01
There s a few things you and I are gonna relate on deeply that I was just tickled to see you admit to out loud.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
So one second story, I happened to journal for the last 20 years cause I m sober and that s part of being sober for me.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I was about to start shooting a movie and I was panicking the three days leading up to it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Cause I was like, I just got cast in it.
4
SPEAKER_01
I didn t audition.
4
SPEAKER_01
I just got offered the thing.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t even know what I m fucking playing.
4
SPEAKER_01
I ve never said these words out loud.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m going to shit the bed and I m like really spiraling.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then I don t know why it occurs to me.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m going to glance at my journal from the last movie I did.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I go back and I get my journal and I read three days before.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it s like, you re a piece of shit.
4
SPEAKER_01
You don t deserve to be here.
4
SPEAKER_01
You re gonna suck.
4
SPEAKER_01
They re gonna fire you.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then I read day one of filming.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m like, I m so underpaid.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m the most talented person in this movie.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m so funny.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m incredible.
4
SPEAKER_01
I go between I m the worst piece of shit in the world to total megalomania in one second.
4
SPEAKER_01
And when I was hearing your experience with performing live for the first time, I just related so deeply, which is he was a hit musician who had never ever done it in front of anyone.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, I was like all behind a computer, the digital age.
4
SPEAKER_00
So all of a sudden I was like, oh my God, I won t even do karaoke back then.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s too much.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then it was like 2000 people in my hometown.
4
SPEAKER_00
Everyone I grew up with there.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s the worst.
4
SPEAKER_01
Way too high a stakes.
4
SPEAKER_01
You shouldn t have invited anyone.
4
SPEAKER_00
Honestly.
4
SPEAKER_00
And the crowd wasn t even as pumped because it wasn t even true Lil Dicky fans.
4
SPEAKER_00
It was family friends.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh God.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
They re scared for you.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
It was so stressful.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
4
SPEAKER_01
Then the second you did it, you said, oh right, I was born to do this.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was like, oh, this isn t even hard.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
I feel like there s no better live performer.
4
SPEAKER_01
Top five for 30.
4
SPEAKER_01
The exact same.
4
SPEAKER_01
Part of me is embarrassed for myself and then another part of me is like, no, it s kind of how I write the scales of so much self-loathing and shame and self-hatred.
4
SPEAKER_01
I need kind of these blasts of megalomaniacal thoughts about myself just to kind of write the scales because I m also torturing myself on the other side of it worse.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s peak on both sides.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I can relate.
4
SPEAKER_01
Let me pee.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, there we go.
4
SPEAKER_01
Want to step out?
4
SPEAKER_01
Are you gonna pee?
4
SPEAKER_00
Sure.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay, great.
4
SPEAKER_01
I ll make another coffee while you re here.
4
SPEAKER_01
I pee sitting down, so.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, okay.
4
SPEAKER_02
Great.
4
SPEAKER_02
Dax, can you fill up more water for me, please?
4
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_01
In your kettle?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, do I have to do anything to the kettle?
4
SPEAKER_01
I think you might need to pour a little more water in.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then boil it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Don t come over here.
4
SPEAKER_01
He s trying to help.
4
SPEAKER_01
Guess what, I m gonna go too.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I m gonna stand if that s okay.
4
SPEAKER_02
Sure.
4
SPEAKER_02
You re okay with it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m good with it.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m trying to drink two spearmint teas a day.
4
SPEAKER_02
I heard that s good for your skin.
4
SPEAKER_00
Just spearmint?
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, not peppermint.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_02
And spearmint is harder to find, of course.
4
SPEAKER_02
Okay, Dax, I m coming over.
4
SPEAKER_00
We re not sitting, so no.
4
SPEAKER_01
Look at that, Monty, you sure you don t wanna go?
4
SPEAKER_01
Three out of four went.
4
SPEAKER_00
It comes, we ve been talking for an hour.
4
SPEAKER_01
Not for her.
4
SPEAKER_01
No.
4
SPEAKER_01
She pees once a week.
4
SPEAKER_00
When I have the slightest feeling of having to pee, I have to take care of it.
4
SPEAKER_00
One eighth there, I got it.
4
SPEAKER_01
How about when you re about to walk out on Kimmel, I start peeing erotically in the green room?
4
SPEAKER_01
I m like, how long is it gonna be?
4
SPEAKER_01
And they re like, five minutes.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then they mic me, I m like, get one in.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then when they knock, I m like, one second.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then I try to force a little out.
4
SPEAKER_01
It runs my life, my fear that I ll have to pee.
4
SPEAKER_00
Do you find yourself, maybe it s because I sit, but I find myself oftentimes peeing twice in one sitting.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, sure, sure, sure.
4
SPEAKER_00
I ll sit, pee, and then I ll just wait, and more pee will come.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
I agree.
4
SPEAKER_01
I agree.
4
SPEAKER_01
Especially at night for me, because I drink fluids compulsively all day long.
4
SPEAKER_01
Truly, I can t be without access to fluids.
4
SPEAKER_01
I couldn t agree more.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then I also wake up all night long to pee because I drink way too much.
4
SPEAKER_01
So right before, I get in this pattern of going like every seven minutes as I m getting tired.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then, yeah, I stand there long enough and then I have all these weird...
4
SPEAKER_01
exercise I do to push and I get a little more squirts out.
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I have heard that s not good for you.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, really?
4
SPEAKER_01
No.
4
SPEAKER_01
Why, what s it doing?
4
SPEAKER_02
You re not strengthening the muscles, you re weakening them.
4
SPEAKER_01
But my Kegels are getting stronger, I think.
4
SPEAKER_01
No, it s the opposite.
4
SPEAKER_01
My pelvic floor.
4
SPEAKER_01
Your pelvic floor is weak.
4
SPEAKER_01
You think I m weakening my pelvic floor?
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t think I m weakening my pelvic floor.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yes, I just heard this.
4
SPEAKER_02
I have a very strong pelvic floor, which is why I never pee.
4
SPEAKER_01
Congratulations.
4
SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
4
SPEAKER_01
Don t brag, though.
4
SPEAKER_02
Well, I will.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay, we re back.
4
SPEAKER_02
But you were saying something important.
4
SPEAKER_01
Really important.
4
SPEAKER_01
Was I?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it was really emotional and important.
4
SPEAKER_01
It was about performing.
4
SPEAKER_01
We were talking about performing.
4
SPEAKER_01
You want to hear a funny performance story?
4
SPEAKER_01
I do, really bad.
4
SPEAKER_00
I never said this out loud.
4
SPEAKER_01
An exclusive?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Rob, hit record.
4
SPEAKER_01
We hadn t been recording.
4
SPEAKER_01
Rob, start recording.
4
SPEAKER_00
So, two or three years ago, I get an opportunity to open the Emmys.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
Performing.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like me, LL Cool J, doing like a musical thing.
4
SPEAKER_00
I find out about it, of course, five days before the Emmys.
4
SPEAKER_00
There s no heads up.
4
SPEAKER_01
Now really quick, does the shadow start telling you, I m only here because someone dropped out or they would have told me weeks ago?
4
SPEAKER_00
No.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay, that s good.
4
SPEAKER_01
I would have done that.
4
SPEAKER_00
You focused on the win.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was like, this seems major.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
And live TV performing, if we could just cut that out, I d be like 10% happier.
4
SPEAKER_00
There s nothing worse than being evaluated on how cool you look and you can t control the edit.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh my god.
4
SPEAKER_00
Luckily, in this instance, it was a pre-record.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I get to write and record my verse ahead of time, and I just gotta look like I m doing it.
4
SPEAKER_00
That being said, I only have like three days to write a verse that I feel comfortable nationally televised, opening up the Emmys for.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I write it and record it, and then I have my friend s wedding that weekend.
4
SPEAKER_00
where I m a groomsman and the whole weekend no matter what song is playing I m rapping my verse to that tempo to like memorize the words getting my swag right figuring out what I m gonna do because the wedding I had to miss the rehearsal and I m not even like a private jet guy the only way to make it happen was I had to get a private jet get right off the plane get in the suit boom I was trying to act like I was built for this yeah of course I was like this is what you re gonna
5
SPEAKER_01
This is my life now.
5
SPEAKER_00
This is me.
5
SPEAKER_01
This is standard shit for a guy in my position.
5
SPEAKER_01
And my friend Gata who s in the show.
5
SPEAKER_01
We need an hour on him.
5
SPEAKER_00
He s in the hallway next to me.
5
SPEAKER_00
He s not coming on, he s just there for moral support.
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you have a hype man?
5
SPEAKER_00
Is he really your hype man?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s all real?
5
SPEAKER_00
He s a real guy, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
No, I know he s a real guy and I know he s a real hype man.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, like if I went to a concert, he would be coming with me on stage and being my hype man for sure.
5
SPEAKER_00
I ve never done a show without him.
5
SPEAKER_01
Okay, wonderful.
5
SPEAKER_01
We ve got to earmark how you met him, but continue.
5
SPEAKER_01
So Gata s there.
5
SPEAKER_01
Gaeta s there just for moral support.
5
SPEAKER_01
As the groomsman.
5
SPEAKER_01
No, we re at the Emmys.
5
SPEAKER_01
By the way, I did also think that at first.
5
SPEAKER_01
I thought he came to hype you up for the groomsman role.
5
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no.
5
SPEAKER_00
It was not that full service.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m at the Emmys, the producer s like, you re on in ten, nine.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I look at Gaeta so confidently and I say to him, literally as they re saying ten, I say,
5
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna kill this shit.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah, he dashed me up.
5
SPEAKER_00
They re like you re on I walk out I immediately forget every single word of the entire I have no idea Fucking thank God it s a pre-record It was as if you know, like when the bomb goes off and it s like white noise All I could do is hear the white noise.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m out there in my microphone if it was live you would have heard me
5
SPEAKER_00
But I knew that it was a pre-record, so I just put that mic real close to the mouth, and I tried to move my body to the rhythm and get through the blocking.
5
SPEAKER_00
It ends, and I come off stage.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m of the mindset that I just nationally humiliated myself, and I m like, please, someone show me the clip.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I look so good.
5
SPEAKER_02
Oh, wait, really?
5
SPEAKER_00
No one knows.
5
SPEAKER_00
No one knows until now.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, now I want to watch.
5
SPEAKER_02
Me too.
5
SPEAKER_00
Watch it, I look great.
5
SPEAKER_00
I challenge you.
5
SPEAKER_00
Inside of me is just a mess.
5
SPEAKER_01
I ve never experienced anything like that.
5
SPEAKER_01
I was unclear, and I think the listener might be as well, which is you had already pre-recorded, but now the lip syncing was live.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, exactly.
5
SPEAKER_01
You got that immediately, but I thought you were going to have another take when you were telling the story.
5
SPEAKER_01
But no, you re talking, you re live on stage.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m live, the Emmy s, we are on TV.
5
SPEAKER_01
And you went completely up on the whole song.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, if it was the Grammy s.
5
SPEAKER_00
And you had to sing.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_01
It would have been like, it would have been crazy.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wow.
5
SPEAKER_01
OK, I want to compare no stakes, but we ve done like 25 live shows or something of this show on stage in front of thousands of people.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it s always gone well and it s always fun.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then I just took a paid deal to do a live show of a different podcast in Las Vegas.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I just entered the thing like, yeah, I ve done this so many times.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m not.
5
SPEAKER_01
worried at all.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it was an unmitigated disaster.
5
SPEAKER_01
It was just complete disaster.
5
SPEAKER_01
The audience was attacking us and it was wild and I had zero control.
5
SPEAKER_01
I really was like, oh, I don t have the skill set to navigate out of this situation.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it s going to go on for another hour.
5
SPEAKER_01
I haven t done a live show since, but I ve questioned, like, is it worth it?
5
SPEAKER_00
Not is it worth it?
5
SPEAKER_01
Did that one event erase my ability to go do it?
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, well, let me tell you this.
5
SPEAKER_01
So that s what I m asking.
5
SPEAKER_01
Did you go like, oh, no, because I m with you.
5
SPEAKER_01
I ll give this a swing.
5
SPEAKER_01
And thus far, it s worked out.
5
SPEAKER_01
And that was kind of the first time it didn t work out.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then I was like, oh, I didn t even like knowing that was an option.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, for example, I always had dreams of headlining the Super Bowl.
5
SPEAKER_00
And now I would be like, no way.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, it s not worth it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Truly, that s kind of where my head is at with it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Because of that experience, right?
5
SPEAKER_00
Totally.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like if you had slayed it, you d be like, we got to get me on the Super Bowl list.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, so blessing in disguise.
5
SPEAKER_00
But the thing is, it s not quite the same, but I d argue it s just as important.
5
SPEAKER_00
I go on like Sway in the Morning and do a freestyle where like if I fail, it s still going up and it s going to be like the story.
5
SPEAKER_00
Honestly, if Jay-Z could see anything, I d want him to see these two Sway freestyles that I went in and I killed.
5
SPEAKER_00
That is so high risk.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know, if you re on stage at a concert and you forget the words, it s funny.
5
SPEAKER_01
If it s your concert.
5
SPEAKER_00
If it s your concert.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s the defining difference, right?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
The Emmys aren t yours.
5
SPEAKER_01
People out there didn t buy a ticket to see Lil Dicky.
5
SPEAKER_01
No.
5
SPEAKER_01
So if you shit the bed.
5
SPEAKER_00
I just evaluate risk at all twists and turns, but it s like, I don t know what it would take to get me to do a major live TV performance.
5
SPEAKER_02
Also, I have to real-time fact check you.
5
SPEAKER_02
You said I wasn t invited to the Golden Globes, and I never am.
5
SPEAKER_00
This is a one-off.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, the only reason I got invited to the Emmys was because I was able to help the opening number.
5
SPEAKER_02
That s a big thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
But he wanted to be at the Golden Globes, and that s fine.
5
SPEAKER_00
No, it s fine.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t even want to be there.
5
SPEAKER_00
I want my show to be acknowledged as one of the best shows on TV.
5
SPEAKER_00
But you know what the racket of the Golden Globes is.
5
SPEAKER_00
I ve heard about the racket.
5
SPEAKER_00
I ve heard it s a racket.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s not a meritocracy.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s only based on getting as many movie stars as possible that have international recognition to that show.
5
SPEAKER_01
Okay?
5
SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
5
SPEAKER_01
Keep that in mind when you re evaluating this.
5
SPEAKER_00
I will.
5
SPEAKER_01
We only have to touch on one other thing before we get to the show, Dave, In Your Story, which is Freaky Friday, which is a body switching video and song with Chris Brown.
5
SPEAKER_01
745 million views.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s how many views that fucking video.
5
SPEAKER_01
Even in your grandiose thinking, that still must shock you.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s nearly a billion views.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, I feel like in the landscape of music videos, I would imagine if you pressed play on 10 different music videos that have a billion views and we all sat and evaluated, I think you would say that Freaky Friday was among the top
5
SPEAKER_00
Five, let s stick with five.
5
SPEAKER_00
Five.
5
SPEAKER_02
Five seems to be the running number.
5
SPEAKER_00
As far as, it s like funny and catchy, and I feel like it checked every box.
5
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so ultimately you and Jeff Schaefer create Dave together.
5
SPEAKER_01
And Jeff Schaefer, he was a producer in, I don t know if he ran, Curb Your Enthusiasm.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, he runs it now.
5
SPEAKER_01
So he and Lara, I mean, talk about having a night on that and getting to work with the person who made a part of the recipe that is bonkers.
5
SPEAKER_01
Full circle.
5
SPEAKER_00
Nobody s gonna give me a TV show as a guy who s a rapper who just makes funny rap videos without having someone attached to it to like babysit and make sure that this is actually going accordingly.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I always have a very strong opinion of what my vision is and what to do.
5
SPEAKER_00
So whoever this person is, it would take a lot for me to like trust what they re saying over what my instincts are.
5
SPEAKER_00
But when it s baked in that this guy is already doing it with your idol, I always say he s like the Bill Belichick to my Tom Brady.
5
SPEAKER_00
And he really is the perfect combination with me to get stuff done.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s wonderful.
5
SPEAKER_01
Because I would imagine you ve been a little misled in that all of your ideas have pretty much worked, but they weren t all going to work, right?
5
SPEAKER_01
You can get a little misled by your own success.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Even good ideas don t work sometimes.
5
SPEAKER_01
Most of the time.
5
SPEAKER_01
The best sketches that were ever written at the Grand Lanes all bombed.
5
SPEAKER_01
They were for us.
5
SPEAKER_01
They weren t for America or whatever.
5
SPEAKER_01
So yeah, to have a co-pilot that knows how to make a fucking TV show and make it for seasons is imperative.
5
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so I want to tell you things I love about the show.
5
SPEAKER_01
And the first thing we just started to talk about, which is Gaeta.
5
SPEAKER_01
He hadn t acted before?
5
SPEAKER_01
No.
5
SPEAKER_01
Okay, Gaeta Monica is one of the most beautiful actors I ve ever seen in my life.
5
SPEAKER_01
And this is why I like the show so much.
5
SPEAKER_01
And we should also tip our hat to the shows that came before yours that opened up this realm where it s like you re seeing a comedy, but we re free to do an episode that s all about him being bipolar, which I have to presume with the level of authenticity he played it, he is.
5
SPEAKER_01
You don t have to divulge that.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, he is.
5
SPEAKER_01
He s probably- Okay, great.
5
SPEAKER_01
They have a whole episode where he ramps up, and acting on his plate is fucking huge.
5
SPEAKER_01
It is huge.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s intimidating.
5
SPEAKER_00
It is intimidating.
5
SPEAKER_01
If I get the script he acted in, I m like, whoa, boy, you better really figure this out.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s one of the things I like to do in the show, is the more emotionally satisfying and real and human things can be, then the more elegant everything is, and the more the comedy will sing.
5
SPEAKER_00
A lot of comedies, I m just like, why does it have to feel so goofy?
5
SPEAKER_00
I love feeling feelings.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I knew Gato being a guy who traveled around the world with me for like five years before even having a show.
5
SPEAKER_00
I know that our dynamic is like pure comedy.
5
SPEAKER_00
And you ve already rehearsed it for five years.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
If you filmed us for five years, you would have gotten the show.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I didn t know if he could become the guy that can cry.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
And every season I put him in a situation where it s like, I want you to be really emotional for this episode because he is a very emotional guy.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t say this to insult you.
5
SPEAKER_01
He s the best actor on the show and you have a bunch of great actors.
5
SPEAKER_00
For sure.
5
SPEAKER_00
He s the heartbeat.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, for sure.
5
SPEAKER_00
How did you meet him?
5
SPEAKER_00
I started to do concerts, especially back in the beginning, beginning.
5
SPEAKER_00
I thought like, Ooh, I can rap fast.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s one of my skill sets that maybe someone else doesn t have.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I m going to every song over rap, just show how great I am.
5
SPEAKER_00
Then you have to do shows and you re like running out of breath.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know, sometimes rappers go up there and just play their songs and rap over top.
5
SPEAKER_00
I hate that shit.
5
SPEAKER_01
Unless it s the Emmys.
5
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
5
SPEAKER_01
I need a hype man.
5
SPEAKER_01
Explain what a hype man is.
5
SPEAKER_01
Until I watched your show, I didn t even know they existed.
5
SPEAKER_00
A lot of rappers historically that go on stage and to get a breath, you have someone finish your line for you.
5
SPEAKER_00
So if I m rapping and my line is about.
5
SPEAKER_00
Monica s teeth.
5
SPEAKER_00
Monica s teeth and I need to take a breath right now and Gator will be like skeet or like whatever rhymes with it.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then I ll be set up for the next line because I just took my breath.
5
SPEAKER_00
So me and Gator, we re not just winging it.
5
SPEAKER_00
We ll be strategically like, I need this word, that word, and then we ll evolve.
5
SPEAKER_00
And so he s really a key part of any live show I do besides being such an incredible performer.
5
SPEAKER_01
What I also gleaned from it is that he s also there to build your confidence.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
He s been a huge boost of my confidence in reality.
5
SPEAKER_00
As a guy who never went on stage, it s a lot easier to go on with a guy or two.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And how did you find him?
5
SPEAKER_01
Did you know him socially first?
5
SPEAKER_01
No.
5
SPEAKER_01
Did you audition Hype Man?
5
SPEAKER_00
My manager at the time used to manage Tyga, and Gator was Tyga s Hype Man.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s confusing.
5
SPEAKER_01
You can t have two animals.
5
SPEAKER_00
Gator and Tyga, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
At least it s not both mammals.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s true.
5
SPEAKER_00
But they went on tour.
5
SPEAKER_00
My manager at the time worked with Gaeta in that capacity.
5
SPEAKER_00
He s like, I know this guy and he s done it in the past for another artist I manage.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, maybe you ll meet him.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then I meet Gaeta and the whole show.
5
SPEAKER_00
And just in general, Gaeta is very much.
6
SPEAKER_00
He calls it the gander, which is a word he s made up, which is like putting yourself in a position to appear more successful than you are to then continue to elevate.
6
SPEAKER_00
So the first meeting, he literally brought an intern and a camera guy.
6
SPEAKER_00
He was like, oh yeah, it s just my crew.
6
SPEAKER_00
He paid people on the spot to appear.
6
SPEAKER_01
You guys are made for each other.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, for sure.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s like wrapping the report on Frito-Lay.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
We re such yin and yangs in such an amazing way.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like I said, I ve had the most blessed fairytale life.
6
SPEAKER_00
The adversity that he s gone through in life and what he s had to do to even get to where he is now is so much grander than anything I ve ever been through that when I m like, oh, I m not on the main stage at this festival.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like I m on the B stage.
6
SPEAKER_00
He s like, shut the fuck up.
6
SPEAKER_00
You know, I ve performed in front of eight people and he s right.
6
SPEAKER_00
He s able to allow me to appreciate what we re achieving.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
He s very impulsive where I m very like, let s take a step back and map out our year.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I think that helps him.
6
SPEAKER_00
Our skill sets are so distinctly opposite that we re able to really help each other thrive.
6
SPEAKER_01
Well, certainly then if you were with him for five years before the show, and then the show is in 2020, so you ve been with him for eight, nine years.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
Did you have to learn how to be partnered with somebody that is bipolar and going to have
6
SPEAKER_01
these periods of time where they re going to confuse you?
6
SPEAKER_00
A few of the instances we ve portrayed in the show where I think initially, because Gaeta and Tyga were really on their way up and then that kind of fell apart.
6
SPEAKER_00
He went from being a guy that was on the stage at Madison Square Garden to them being back at his mom s house.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then we started rising and then all of a sudden he s about to star in a TV show.
6
SPEAKER_00
And right before season one, he kind of went through it.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I think it was just an overwhelming thing to deal with.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I m watching all of a sudden this guy that I ve known for four years behave in a kind of a different way five days before we have to start shooting the show.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
And it was a lot.
6
SPEAKER_00
But man, this guy, season one, Gaeta, he put on, I say, a Willis Reed-like performance because he was really going through it emotionally.
6
SPEAKER_00
And he was able to somehow power through it and adjust to these realities on the fly.
6
SPEAKER_00
And maybe it helped make his performance more powerful.
6
SPEAKER_00
Maybe it didn t.
6
SPEAKER_00
I, as a guy who watches every take, Gaeta season three is like money in the bank.
6
SPEAKER_00
I have like five different takes that are incredibly wonderful.
6
SPEAKER_00
Where season one, maybe I have like two and he s just gotten so much better along the way.
6
SPEAKER_00
But it s really interesting to watch him grow and become somebody who season one, I could feel him going through it and trying to figure it out.
6
SPEAKER_00
Where season three, I don t want to say he s an autopilot, but I don t want him to even read the script before.
6
SPEAKER_00
Right.
6
SPEAKER_00
Because I d rather have this really sharp Gata that s really confident in life and not going through that to just like react and fire in all cylinders.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
You don t want him already knowing what he s going to do in a weird way.
6
SPEAKER_00
Whereas season one, I m like, did you read the script?
6
SPEAKER_01
How many times did you read it?
6
SPEAKER_01
You can t just read it once.
6
SPEAKER_01
That is a lot though.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then season three explores all this incredible stuff.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I m curious, and so many people are fascinated in all the interviews I watch with you.
6
SPEAKER_01
People are endlessly interested in if it s a show loosely based on your life, what parts are the loosely and what part are your life.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I m not,
6
SPEAKER_01
is interested in any like the specific like do you fuck a doll or anything what I am curious is season three is great you kind of let yourself become more unlikable than you were in the other two seasons I think I think season two I m the least likable okay that s fair I think season three I tried to be likable
6
SPEAKER_01
But I mean, by the way, it s a similar arc to Atlanta in that we meet you, you re not successful.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then you become really successful.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I think you re pretty honest about that journey.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I have to imagine your own journey informs that.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I will say, I think I m definitely less of an asshole in reality.
6
SPEAKER_00
We kind of have to force conflict for the narratives.
6
SPEAKER_01
When that happens, are you uncomfortable about that or are you fine with it?
6
SPEAKER_00
I relish the challenge of having to be unlikable, yet being so hopefully likable that you can do it.
6
SPEAKER_01
That people will stick with you.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, exactly.
6
SPEAKER_00
But there are times where it s too much that I don t believe it to be real.
6
SPEAKER_00
Right.
6
SPEAKER_00
Because no one is this big of an asshole.
6
SPEAKER_01
No one is this clueless.
6
SPEAKER_01
Because the only thing I have to compare it to is I was on a show for six years, and I m not playing Dax Shepard on the show.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m playing Crosby Braverman.
6
SPEAKER_01
But I come to love Crosby Braverman.
6
SPEAKER_01
I come to get pretty protective.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I think I found myself having more and more arguments with people about, this is so out of left field that he would do this.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I get more and more protective.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then also having the voice remembering, yeah, but this is a TV show that requires you to do things that are out of your character and to do new things.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s hard to love it and not be protective of it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, Curb would not be Curb without Larry being the most intolerable, forced, you know what I mean?
6
SPEAKER_00
But I happen to find it all very charming and endearing.
6
SPEAKER_00
Me too.
6
SPEAKER_01
Well, for me, honest, which is what cuts through any of the behavior.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s like, oh, it s kind of rooted in how we all think.
6
SPEAKER_00
But I think that the core of everything I do in life is probably this kid who s always wanted to be liked.
6
SPEAKER_00
I navigated that by
6
SPEAKER_00
I was like, oh, I happen to be funny and people laugh, so that s how I get people to like me.
6
SPEAKER_00
And so I think inherently there is this desperation to be liked inside of me.
6
SPEAKER_01
You ll still drink the bottle of ketchup at camp to make people laugh.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t want people to not like my character.
6
SPEAKER_00
I want people to root for the main character to succeed.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I think we end up getting there, but it has to be a journey.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like season two, the end, when Gaeta comes on stage at the VMAs, that wouldn t have been nearly as satisfying if I wasn t being the opposite of that along the way.
6
SPEAKER_01
The most selfish, self-centered prick.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay, but on season three, Killer Mike s on season three, Usher, Rachel McAdams, Brad Pitt, Don Cheadle, Rick Ross.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
6
SPEAKER_01
Fully loaded.
6
SPEAKER_01
If we track from the real life, which is the show comes out on FX, it s got a 1% chance of succeeding.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then within three seasons, it grows to this.
6
SPEAKER_01
And this is what I m curious for you emotionally, because I think I m like you.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m an approval junkie, and I love being validated by people.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I love being validated by people that I think have status.
6
SPEAKER_01
I live for that.
6
SPEAKER_00
Me too, and I wish I didn t.
6
SPEAKER_01
Looking at this, I was thinking that I am in the same dangerous situation that you are in life, which is you run out of people to get validated by.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like once Brad Pitt comes on the show in season three, I can imagine it almost getting very scary about what the engine is going forward and having to maybe redefine what the engine is or what the fuel source is.
6
SPEAKER_01
Does any of that ring true?
6
SPEAKER_00
It does ring true, and the core lesson of season three, which is, in a nutshell, centered around looking for love the whole time.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m trying to fall in love while simultaneously being this validation junkie addict or whatever.
6
SPEAKER_00
By the end of the season, you learn you can t even find love until you actually love yourself.
6
SPEAKER_00
Loving yourself doesn t mean you love yourself because Brad Pitt says you should love yourself.
6
SPEAKER_00
Loving yourself is just actually truly loving yourself.
6
SPEAKER_01
Doing esteemable acts and liking who you are.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and there are a lot of lessons in the show that my character goes through that I know to be true, that I wish I really, really fully
6
SPEAKER_00
Embody.
6
SPEAKER_00
Embody.
6
SPEAKER_00
Internalize.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, like, I know logically that I shouldn t care if I m not at the Golden Globes.
6
SPEAKER_00
I can t control the little feeling inside of my chest that s like, mm.
6
SPEAKER_00
But I m sure that s part of growing up.
6
SPEAKER_00
And the most important thing is being aware of these things.
6
SPEAKER_00
Making the show helps me become more and more aware, because we re literally just nitpicking every single psychological thing I go through in life and pushing it and trying to portray different things.
6
SPEAKER_00
But you end season three with Brad Pitt and Drake.
6
SPEAKER_00
And what do you do next?
6
SPEAKER_01
What do we do?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.
6
SPEAKER_01
So for me in my real life experience, A, I only wanted to get into show business to get on Letterman.
6
SPEAKER_01
Literally, I didn t have a desire to be an actor.
6
SPEAKER_01
I had a desire to sit on the couch next to David Letterman.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s all.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I did that.
6
SPEAKER_01
And that is the highlight of the whole show business career.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then there was a moment where he came to my house and sat on that couch so I could interview him.
6
SPEAKER_01
And that was rewarding and dangerous,
6
SPEAKER_01
And in the wake of it, I found myself really having to go back to the drawing board, like, oh, wow, that was the one.
6
SPEAKER_01
What could I look forward to with that same zeal?
6
SPEAKER_01
And then for me, ultimately, it was great because I had to remember, no, the thing that I like that s substantive is I like to connect with human beings when I wipe that other thing away.
6
SPEAKER_01
And it almost weirdly led me back to the thing that I loved about it from the beginning.
6
SPEAKER_01
But it s a ride, and I don t know that everyone traverses that successfully.
6
SPEAKER_00
I like being forced to be like, oh, now I have to reinvent things or find other ways.
6
SPEAKER_00
Because the show takes up so much time, and I put so much effort into it and everything.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s like a blur.
6
SPEAKER_00
When I think about life, sometimes I m just like, well, what just happened?
6
SPEAKER_00
Because now four years have gone by.
6
SPEAKER_00
I wouldn t want to do that forever.
6
SPEAKER_00
I want to make music too.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I want to have a personal life too.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I have all these different things.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think initially, after college, it s like, I ll do anything to make the show Dave and just only focus on that.
6
SPEAKER_00
But when you do it and you actually do it, you re able to be like, well, what else is there in life?
6
SPEAKER_00
That s why I m so excited about when I created the soundtrack album.
6
SPEAKER_00
Penis.
6
SPEAKER_00
Penis.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like if Mike Tyson said penis.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s like, oh my God, it s been eight years since I even mixed a song.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Are you mad about that?
6
SPEAKER_00
I m not mad about it because- You ve been doing other shit.
6
SPEAKER_00
I ve been doing other shit, but I m also like, well, there is opportunity cost to everything.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s a shame.
6
SPEAKER_00
There are a lot of fans of mine that just love the music.
6
SPEAKER_00
Of course.
6
SPEAKER_00
And they feel like, fuck you, man.
6
SPEAKER_00
You haven t put an album out in eight years.
6
SPEAKER_00
I just have kind of re-fallen in love with making music and I m hyper aware that being a rapper is not something that is
7
SPEAKER_00
as easy to do when you re like 45 as it is when you re 35.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I m just like, I have limited time here to do that thing that I said I could do in 2014 when I started falling in love with being a rapper.
7
SPEAKER_00
And that s exciting to me to be able to have these other things going on.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, well, I have to imagine in many ways you fully reach your potential on Dave.
7
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I hope that doesn t mean there s no more Dave, but I imagine you think you still have some potential to reach musically.
7
SPEAKER_02
So much potential to reach musically.
7
SPEAKER_00
There s also, when I thought about my career as that kid, I thought about movies.
7
SPEAKER_00
I love movies.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m writing a movie that I want to star in, write, direct.
7
SPEAKER_00
When I started to do everything, I was like, you re a comedian.
7
SPEAKER_00
And then I became a rapper.
7
SPEAKER_00
And now if I had to put one word to me, I would put the word filmmaker.
7
SPEAKER_00
Because like, I really feel I m meant to be a director.
7
SPEAKER_00
I look at a guy like Ben Stiller.
7
SPEAKER_00
That s what I want to be.
7
SPEAKER_00
I just love storytelling.
7
SPEAKER_00
But sometimes I have to remind myself, like, I was with Jonah Hill the other day.
7
SPEAKER_00
I was talking about these ambitions of mine.
7
SPEAKER_00
of being like the consummate auteur.
7
SPEAKER_00
If you ask me what I want to do, it s that.
7
SPEAKER_00
He was like, but don t forget that you re funny.
7
SPEAKER_00
And what I started this whole thing for, because a lot of people can be auteurs, probably fewer can be genuinely funny.
7
SPEAKER_01
He s a great person to give that piece of advice.
7
SPEAKER_02
But I guess as your older brother now.
7
SPEAKER_02
Who, him?
7
SPEAKER_02
Me.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh, you.
7
SPEAKER_02
I m speaking now as your older brother.
7
SPEAKER_02
Sure.
7
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
7
SPEAKER_02
If you ll allow me.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yes, please.
7
SPEAKER_02
Because I m just, I m 13 years further down this road.
7
SPEAKER_02
This dumb ass path.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
7
SPEAKER_02
And it s truly fun and worth exploring.
7
SPEAKER_02
And honestly, all of us just benefit from it.
7
SPEAKER_02
I get enormous joy out of watching Dave, period.
7
SPEAKER_02
I m so grateful this is the journey you re on.
7
SPEAKER_02
Because I get to consume it.
7
SPEAKER_02
But my guess is, and I did the same thing, I m defining my identity by a lot of things that are extrinsic and work-related.
7
SPEAKER_00
For sure.
7
SPEAKER_00
And it s disgusting and I m sick of it.
7
SPEAKER_00
I can t get out of it.
7
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what to do.
7
SPEAKER_02
I want to hear about that angst.
7
SPEAKER_02
My thing was I directed a movie that worked really well.
7
SPEAKER_02
I got to do a big studio movie.
7
SPEAKER_02
That movie did not make money.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I had this six month period where my identity was fucked.
7
SPEAKER_02
It was gone.
7
SPEAKER_02
And it was one I had been leaning on for like four or five years.
7
SPEAKER_02
And it was a terribly scary place, but luckily,
7
SPEAKER_02
I was a dad.
7
SPEAKER_02
And so anytime I would get kind of low about it, I d walk in the house and be like, wait, fucking writer director s not even a thing.
7
SPEAKER_02
That s a thing.
7
SPEAKER_02
I don t have that kid to fall back on.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I m just saying it really... I should have kids is what you re saying.
7
SPEAKER_00
He has pushed them on a lot of people.
7
SPEAKER_02
I do push them, especially on folks like you and I and Jonah.
7
SPEAKER_02
Jonah just had a kid.
7
SPEAKER_00
I couldn t agree more.
7
SPEAKER_00
Life is too one dimensional otherwise.
7
SPEAKER_00
You re right.
7
SPEAKER_00
My entire happiness and identity is rooted in the success of the art that I make.
7
SPEAKER_00
And it s like ridiculous.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s so dangerous.
7
SPEAKER_00
I always say like, in theory, I wake up and I m so happy every day, but I also have had the luckiest life where my wildest dreams not only come true, but I always want to be a comedian.
7
SPEAKER_00
And like, I ve essentially get to play in the NBA too.
7
SPEAKER_00
That s like how ridiculous being a rapper is for like a suburban Jewish kid.
7
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
7
SPEAKER_00
I always say like, maybe I m depressed.
7
SPEAKER_00
But everything goes perfectly.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
7
SPEAKER_00
So I m just happy.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s so dangerous to live your life this way.
7
SPEAKER_00
I know that it s the wrong way to live life.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m so aware of it.
7
SPEAKER_00
Sometimes I m sick of myself for being so wrapped up in the success of the show or the success of a music video and like the views it gets and the Instagram followers.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s the wrong way to live life.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m so aware of it.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yet I sometimes just can t.
7
SPEAKER_00
Totally.
7
SPEAKER_00
You re powerless.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m powerless.
7
SPEAKER_00
I get it.
7
SPEAKER_01
You re also young and even though you ve been doing it for a long time, it s still new in that way.
7
SPEAKER_01
You re young.
7
SPEAKER_01
It takes time.
7
SPEAKER_00
I think the most important thing is being aware of all this stuff.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
7
SPEAKER_00
And now that I m aware of it, I am able to logically, when I get that feeling in my chest of bitterness based on like the lack of success of a moment, I m able to take a step back and be like, of course you feel this way, but logically you shouldn t.
7
SPEAKER_00
I don t know how to control what feelings exist inside of my chest and my head and my heart.
7
SPEAKER_02
There s an enormous divide between your intellect and your emotions.
7
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
7
SPEAKER_02
I am of the opinion that you have to have a game plan.
7
SPEAKER_02
I don t think these things will happen on their own.
7
SPEAKER_02
You had to decide to go to the department, to shoot the fucking rap, to put it up.
7
SPEAKER_02
It wasn t like you were going to walk into the meeting and someone was going to hand you a tape and you had done it.
7
SPEAKER_02
And similarly, that other aspect of life requires the exact same amount of focus and planning or it won t just knock on your door.
7
SPEAKER_02
I mean, that s my own personal belief on it.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I want kids.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m hoping that I m living in this self-fulfilling prophecy that really is kind of impossible to ever like find full satisfaction or peace.
7
SPEAKER_02
Which again, we ll benefit from.
7
SPEAKER_02
Thank you.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yep.
7
SPEAKER_00
And logically, the thought of a kid, I m like, well, wait a minute.
7
SPEAKER_00
Now I have to give up my entire life and live it for something else.
7
SPEAKER_00
That sounds like the last thing in the world I want to do.
7
SPEAKER_00
But I ve been living this other version of my life where it s completely self-fulfilling for 10 years.
7
SPEAKER_00
Everything goes as well as it possibly could go.
7
SPEAKER_00
And there s still a full on restlessness inside of me.
7
SPEAKER_00
and I m hoping that the kid solves that restlessness.
7
SPEAKER_00
However, another part of me has this fear, it won t, you ll be just as selfish when you have the kid, and then you ll really feel fucked.
7
SPEAKER_00
I don t think that s true, I think I have too big of a heart.
7
SPEAKER_00
I don t think that s true.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s not gonna happen.
7
SPEAKER_00
Or you ll work on yourself.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s just other kids, I m just so unmoved by it.
7
SPEAKER_02
Same, right as we were making the decision, we were out with our good friends and their kid, and it was a disaster, and the dinner was ruined, and I was like, this is what we re gonna do?
7
SPEAKER_02
But I can just assure you, they put the little baby in your hands, and you look at the little baby,
7
SPEAKER_02
and you know like, oh, they know immediately looking at you, you re responsible for me.
7
SPEAKER_02
And something truly magical happens.
7
SPEAKER_00
There s gotta be a reason everyone does it.
7
SPEAKER_02
Something kicks in that is unimaginable until it happens.
7
SPEAKER_00
Even though I have a dog, it s different?
7
SPEAKER_02
I would argue it s much different.
7
SPEAKER_02
Kristen had thousands of dogs and she too, and both of us were on the fence about it.
7
SPEAKER_02
We had a good life and we traveled and we weren t suffering.
7
SPEAKER_02
But it s the best thing you ve ever done.
7
SPEAKER_02
I m telling you by a factor of a hundred.
7
SPEAKER_00
then I m happy to say that I still have the best part of life to look forward to.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
7
SPEAKER_02
I think that s lovely.
7
SPEAKER_00
Unless my, well, even if my dick doesn t impregnate properly, like I always have this fear of my semen.
7
SPEAKER_01
You adopt.
7
SPEAKER_01
You adopt.
7
SPEAKER_01
Also, modern medicine is miraculous.
7
SPEAKER_01
It is miraculous.
7
SPEAKER_01
No, I was just, I always feel compelled to do this, which is so annoying.
7
SPEAKER_01
I know.
7
SPEAKER_01
But I don t think having a kid is the only option for peace.
7
SPEAKER_01
I really don t.
7
SPEAKER_01
I would imagine it s not.
7
SPEAKER_02
I know every time I share my personal opinion, I get accused of shaming people who don t have kids, but I wanted to be clear.
7
SPEAKER_02
I m sharing with you my personal experience in life.
7
SPEAKER_02
That s it.
7
SPEAKER_01
You are, but you re also telling him.
7
SPEAKER_01
I want to do it.
7
SPEAKER_00
I want to do it.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and you should.
7
SPEAKER_00
I would tend to agree.
7
SPEAKER_00
My problem is I just feel like all the things that someone would say to teach you about how you re not thinking the right way, I am already aware of.
7
SPEAKER_00
That s the weird thing.
7
SPEAKER_00
So I m not learning new information, and I guess I would just need to train my brain
7
SPEAKER_01
You re still gonna feel the feeling every time.
7
SPEAKER_01
Your brain is still gonna have all the thoughts.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s a matter of then knowing, oh, this is that thought that leads me here.
7
SPEAKER_01
I don t wanna go there.
7
SPEAKER_01
It takes a lot of fucking effort to be constantly evaluating your emotions and thoughts, but you can t just hope that they re not gonna happen.
7
SPEAKER_01
They are gonna.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, but I don t know.
7
SPEAKER_02
I wanna deduct the baby from it, and I actually wanna isolate why, for me, it s been incredible.
7
SPEAKER_02
I, up until that point, was focused on the love I could receive, and that felt good, but it was very temporary.
7
SPEAKER_02
Again, I do know Brad Pitt.
7
SPEAKER_02
It felt incredible.
7
SPEAKER_02
I ve gone and ridden motorcycles with him.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s insane, but it s very temporary.
7
SPEAKER_02
It wears off quickly and I need another hit.
7
SPEAKER_02
When I was forced to flip the equation into how much love I give, lo and behold, peace is on the other side of the amount of love you re giving.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s not the amount of love for me that I was receiving.
7
SPEAKER_00
I read a, I mean, I don t read, I m not a big reader, but I did read the first half of a book called The Second Mountain, which is all about how, by design, we live our lives trying to get up our mountain.
7
SPEAKER_00
That s not happiness.
7
SPEAKER_00
Real happiness is only when you give.
7
SPEAKER_02
You start sharing what you got on that mountain.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and then that s the second, I mean, it adds up, it makes sense.
7
SPEAKER_00
Life can t be this one-dimensional.
7
SPEAKER_00
I ve achieved everything I ve ever wanted to achieve kind of already.
7
SPEAKER_02
Right, and you run out of shit to achieve.
7
SPEAKER_00
You run out of shit to achieve, and there s gotta be a whole lot more to life.
7
SPEAKER_00
And there is, I am globally happy truly every day.
7
SPEAKER_02
I m not trying to be a downer.
7
SPEAKER_02
What I m trying to do is like when I meet someone that I feel like I share a similar disposition and I like, I genuinely like you.
7
SPEAKER_02
I like you too.
7
SPEAKER_02
I have this, and it s the mountain thing.
7
SPEAKER_02
I haven t read that book, but my therapist told me about it.
7
SPEAKER_02
And yes, my therapist told me, he s like,
7
SPEAKER_02
you ve reached the age where it s like you have to transition from getting the approval of people you like to mentoring people you like.
7
SPEAKER_02
So like giving the things away that you ve gathered and that you re going to find more joy in that than you ever found in receiving it.
7
SPEAKER_02
That s why I m saying, I don t think it s baby specific.
7
SPEAKER_02
I think it s giving specific.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
7
SPEAKER_00
Let s give back more.
7
SPEAKER_02
You re so fucking cute and I like you so much as well as I would hope that you could have.
7
SPEAKER_02
But really quick, let s just hone in on what s special about Peanuth.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
Did it, right?
7
SPEAKER_02
I nailed it.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s been eight years since I ve even put out a body of work, and I just think being able to have the opportunity to hear present-day Lil Dicky is just a very satisfying thing to offer.
7
SPEAKER_00
It would kill you if I played Monica Five Seconds in this?
7
SPEAKER_00
Miss Rick Adams?
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
No.
7
SPEAKER_00
You re playing it off like Spotify or something?
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh, sure.
7
SPEAKER_00
Is that cool?
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
Is there another happy moment of yours where you ll get one?
7
SPEAKER_00
I don t know why, I just thought in my head right there, I was like, well, are you playing The Rough Mix?
7
SPEAKER_00
I like, for whatever reason, thought you had my demo.
7
SPEAKER_00
I have it all.
7
SPEAKER_02
I have your scratch track.
7
SPEAKER_00
That s how long it s been since I ve put music out on a streaming platform.
7
SPEAKER_00
Right.
7
SPEAKER_00
That s what I m saying.
7
SPEAKER_02
I can t believe you have access to my music right now.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yes, just the line.
7
SPEAKER_02
Play it.
7
SPEAKER_02
Okay, great.
7
SPEAKER_02
Don t think about prepping.
7
SPEAKER_00
This is Rachel McAdams.
7
You don t even care about me.
7
SPEAKER_02
You re gonna get so horny, Monica.
7
SPEAKER_01
She s on the show as well.
7
SPEAKER_01
Just like the movies, but I think that you re the one.
7
Rachel, let me be your Mr. McAdams.
8
SPEAKER_03
This is really good.
8
SPEAKER_01
Already really good.
8
SPEAKER_01
I love this.
8
SPEAKER_01
Wait till you hear the Brad Pitt line.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s so fucking funny.
8
SPEAKER_02
I love this too.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s kind of my favorite song.
8
This is great.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I got fans too, so I can relate to this being off-putting.
8
SPEAKER_01
But I just know you d like what I could give.
8
SPEAKER_01
Imagine guac without no chips.
8
SPEAKER_01
Imagine me at Batchador.
8
SPEAKER_01
Out of nowhere, what would you say?
8
SPEAKER_01
What would we do?
8
SPEAKER_01
Probably be weird.
8
SPEAKER_01
Too much build-up.
8
SPEAKER_01
Too much pressure.
8
SPEAKER_01
Or maybe we would fight like rabbits.
8
SPEAKER_01
Maybe.
8
SPEAKER_03
That s great.
8
SPEAKER_03
That s great.
8
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
8
SPEAKER_03
I love it.
8
SPEAKER_03
I m glad you played it.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
Fuck Brad Pitt.
8
SPEAKER_00
Don t think about him.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s so good.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
Really good.
8
SPEAKER_00
It has like an undeniable emotion, Ellie.
8
SPEAKER_02
It warms my heart, that song.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
For Monica, it s Matt Damon.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
Right.
8
SPEAKER_00
We all have our version of that.
8
SPEAKER_02
We do.
8
SPEAKER_00
And you re just certain your heart would be completely full and exploding.
8
SPEAKER_03
If they only met you, they d know.
8
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if you noticed when you sat down and peed, but there is a standees of Monica being kissed by Matt Damon in the shower.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s real?
8
SPEAKER_02
What s a standees?
8
SPEAKER_00
It s a photo that we made into a whole standee.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s a real photo.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yes, it s in the shower.
8
SPEAKER_00
He was on it.
8
SPEAKER_00
He put his hands on you.
8
SPEAKER_00
He kissed her on the forehead and she had a smile.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I ve known her for eight years.
8
SPEAKER_00
I ve never seen it.
8
SPEAKER_00
I didn t know it existed.
8
SPEAKER_02
I understand.
8
SPEAKER_02
I understand completely.
8
SPEAKER_02
You get it.
8
SPEAKER_00
Now what if you guys saw Matt Damon and Rachel McAdams engaged in making out, would you be?
8
SPEAKER_03
I would hate it.
8
SPEAKER_00
You would hate it.
8
SPEAKER_00
I would have no problem with it.
8
SPEAKER_00
You would be supportive.
8
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
You want her to be happy.
8
SPEAKER_00
I need Rachel to be happy.
8
SPEAKER_03
I m only okay with him being with me.
8
SPEAKER_03
How s that going?
8
SPEAKER_03
It s not going great since he is married with like five children.
8
SPEAKER_03
And she also seems so cool and nice and pretty.
8
SPEAKER_03
She s perfect.
8
SPEAKER_00
Is McAdams married?
8
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I think so.
8
SPEAKER_02
Okay, you didn t learn that while you were shooting with her?
8
SPEAKER_02
She definitely has a partner.
8
SPEAKER_02
I think they re married.
8
SPEAKER_02
She definitely lives and has kids with a guy.
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh, well, there we go.
8
SPEAKER_02
But was that so fun?
8
SPEAKER_02
So fun.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I m lying in bed with Rachel McAdams.
8
SPEAKER_00
And did you have that moment, I hope for, and I ve had in real life, which is like, I know I m not going to be with this person, but I m looking for one moment where I go, yeah, I think we could have been.
8
SPEAKER_02
I didn t have that moment.
8
SPEAKER_02
I just had such respect for the moment in general of the child in me who always dreamt of being with Rachel McAdams.
8
SPEAKER_02
I know she s married and has children.
8
SPEAKER_03
Totally.
8
SPEAKER_02
To be seen by her in real life.
8
SPEAKER_03
The smile is not, oh my God, we could have been together.
8
SPEAKER_02
No.
8
SPEAKER_03
It s what is this life of mine.
8
SPEAKER_02
Exactly.
8
SPEAKER_03
That has got me here.
8
SPEAKER_03
Yes.
8
SPEAKER_03
It s so beautiful.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s beautiful.
8
SPEAKER_02
She s just as delightful as I would have ever imagined her.
8
SPEAKER_02
Wonderful.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, she s great.
8
SPEAKER_00
What a wonderful note to end on.
8
SPEAKER_00
How many tracks are on Peanuth? 22.
8
SPEAKER_00
See, I don t remember that many songs in the show.
8
SPEAKER_02
I know, that s the thing.
8
SPEAKER_02
There are.
8
SPEAKER_02
There s more.
8
SPEAKER_02
I only put on the songs that I believe, if you haven t seen the show, they stand alone and it s got my stamp of like, I am fine to release this right now in 2024 because I fuck with it.
8
SPEAKER_02
There are a lot of songs in the show that are really funny or silly that don t pass that checkbox for me.
8
SPEAKER_02
So there s actually probably like 40 songs that have been in the show.
8
SPEAKER_02
These are like the best 22 of them.
8
SPEAKER_02
I m telling you, even though you ve seen every episode, you ll listen to this album and you haven t heard the songs.
8
SPEAKER_00
You ve heard like eight seconds of different moments here and there.
8
SPEAKER_00
Even when I was listening to this this morning, obviously I saw it in the show, but I actually don t remember.
8
SPEAKER_02
I hate to say it, but I think the show can oftentimes cheapen the music.
8
SPEAKER_02
You can t do the whole thing and you don t give it the same evaluation that you would.
8
SPEAKER_02
It just doesn t feel real.
8
SPEAKER_02
You ll appreciate the music way more listening to it than you would if it was in the show watching it.
8
SPEAKER_00
What s interesting is when you hear it in the show, you ve joined other people s lives.
8
SPEAKER_00
But when you listen to it in your car driving somewhere, the song has joined your life.
8
SPEAKER_02
There s something that music does on a connectivity level that even I don t think film can do.
8
SPEAKER_02
And I m a way bigger film TV fan in general.
8
SPEAKER_02
I m not this guy who s obsessed with music beyond being obsessed with his own music career.
8
SPEAKER_02
I don t like going to concerts.
8
SPEAKER_02
I m not listening to music all day long.
8
SPEAKER_02
But I do think that there s a certain thing when people come up to me and like I see it in their eyes that they re the most hardcore
8
SPEAKER_02
Dave slash Lil Dicky fan, they always talk about music.
8
SPEAKER_02
They don t talk about the show.
8
SPEAKER_02
And that s surprising, because I think the show is so much better than the music that has been released.
8
SPEAKER_02
That s why I m happy to release this body of work that I think has caught up.
8
SPEAKER_02
I m only now catching up to the show musically, and that s why I m trying to jump on it and continue to make music, because I really feel like I m at the peak of my powers.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I look forward to it.
8
SPEAKER_00
Will you give me the Rachel McAdams moment?
8
SPEAKER_00
I want because we re not going to do it.
8
SPEAKER_00
We re both busy, but we could have been friends.
8
SPEAKER_00
We will be friends.
8
SPEAKER_00
Why can t we be friends?
8
SPEAKER_00
I have an appetite for it.
8
SPEAKER_00
I think that I like you.
8
SPEAKER_02
I think we ll start as like distant.
8
SPEAKER_02
Let s exchange numbers at the end of this and see how the texting goes.
8
SPEAKER_00
It ll go really good.
8
SPEAKER_00
I can t wait.
8
SPEAKER_00
I got a pretty good text game too.
8
SPEAKER_00
Me too.
8
SPEAKER_00
All right.
8
SPEAKER_00
I adore you.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m so fucking happy you came today.
8
SPEAKER_00
Good luck.
8
SPEAKER_02
I adore both of you.
8
SPEAKER_02
Very fun.
8
SPEAKER_02
You guys are cool.
8
SPEAKER_02
And we would be friends and we should be friends.
8
SPEAKER_00
Now you live very close.
8
SPEAKER_00
If Venice, it was a non-starter.
8
SPEAKER_00
Honestly.
8
SPEAKER_03
The Sportsman s Lodge is easy.
8
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_02
Let s go get a rotisserie chicken.
8
SPEAKER_03
That s right.
8
SPEAKER_00
Let s go grab a rotisserie chicken.
8
SPEAKER_00
All right.
8
SPEAKER_00
Good luck, Dave.
8
SPEAKER_00
Not a physicist.
8
SPEAKER_02
Thank you for having me.
8
SPEAKER_02
I m big fans and I appreciate you.
8
SPEAKER_00
Next up is the fact check.
8
SPEAKER_00
I don t even care about facts, I just wanna get in their pants.
8
SPEAKER_00
I want to make something very clear.
8
SPEAKER_03
Do it.
8
SPEAKER_00
I am not dipping.
8
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, okay, I want to address this.
8
SPEAKER_03
So in the middle of that, we just did an interview.
8
SPEAKER_00
I was even looking at the pictures, people were probably gonna be like, oh, damn it.
8
SPEAKER_03
I looked over, I saw a tin.
8
SPEAKER_00
And pouches.
8
SPEAKER_03
Right, but it was open and there were pouches.
8
SPEAKER_03
I knew then it wasn t your normal thing.
8
SPEAKER_03
So I didn t know what it was, but I knew it wasn t your normal dip.
8
SPEAKER_00
So it s not tobacco.
8
SPEAKER_03
What is it?
8
SPEAKER_00
So I was having dinner with Kutcher, who s had a checkered past of dipping himself.
8
SPEAKER_00
So I was telling him, you know, I quit for New Year s.
8
SPEAKER_00
And he goes, you know what I ve been doing is just chewing these green leaves.
8
SPEAKER_00
There s a company that just does.
8
SPEAKER_03
Is it like tea?
8
SPEAKER_00
Yes, it s just like an organic mint tea bag.
8
SPEAKER_03
Interesting.
8
SPEAKER_00
And he s like, it totally satiates the oral fixation.
8
SPEAKER_00
And he s like, it s just something to do.
8
SPEAKER_00
And it kind of replaces the thing you want, that I missed, the like the ceremony of putting it in and it lasts for this amount of time.
8
SPEAKER_03
But you don t have to spit it out.
8
SPEAKER_00
No, I just swallowed the whole thing.
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s great.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s just tea.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s just tea leaves.
8
SPEAKER_00
Green leaf.
8
SPEAKER_03
Oh, my God.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s mint.
8
SPEAKER_00
You could have one, in fact.
8
SPEAKER_03
Maybe I will.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, they re really neat.
8
SPEAKER_00
I was pretty delighted.
8
SPEAKER_00
I ordered three of them last night.
8
SPEAKER_00
And then, of course, my family, well, my children were like, Dad, you re not supposed to dip.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, hold on, it s not.
8
SPEAKER_00
I almost could not convince them this wasn t dip.
8
SPEAKER_03
It looks just like it.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s identical and it s supposed to.
8
SPEAKER_03
It s supposed to.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
8
SPEAKER_03
I like this.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
So, um, I was like, I m probably gonna hate them cause it s not tobacco.
8
SPEAKER_00
But then I did a couple last night and I was like, Hey now.
8
SPEAKER_03
Does it have caffeine?
8
SPEAKER_03
Cause green tea does.
8
SPEAKER_00
You would.
8
SPEAKER_00
I think, but here, smell them and stuff.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m not even positive they re tea, but they would have to be, right?
8
SPEAKER_03
Greenleaf Organic Mint 20 Pouches.
8
SPEAKER_03
Okay, hold on.
8
SPEAKER_03
Greenleaf is an all-natural energy supplement designed to provide a healthy alternative to tobacco products.
8
SPEAKER_03
A unique blend of green tea, peppermint, turmeric, baking soda.
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh, is that good or bad?
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s your toothpaste.
8
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
8
SPEAKER_00
Okay, this may replace your arm and hammer.
8
SPEAKER_03
And Stevia is packed into each pouch to help freshen your breath, boost your energy, help whiten your teeth and help combat dependency to tobacco products.
8
SPEAKER_03
This is great.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s nice.
8
SPEAKER_03
Let me smell one.
8
SPEAKER_00
Cause I m going to the sand dunes and you know, this is.
8
SPEAKER_03
Mmm, smells good.
8
SPEAKER_03
Put one between the cheek and gum.
8
SPEAKER_03
I m gonna put one here for later.
8
SPEAKER_00
Remember, you liked toothpicks.
8
SPEAKER_00
You and I were both kind of addicted to toothpicks for a while.
8
SPEAKER_03
Oh, wow, good catch.
8
SPEAKER_00
Thank you so much, that one came from a bit outside.
8
SPEAKER_00
That was out of my strike, what do they call it, Ron?
8
SPEAKER_00
Strike zone.
8
SPEAKER_00
Strike zone, it was pretty outside the strike zone.
8
SPEAKER_00
but but going to the dunes is ripe with triggers which is like I can tell myself I m out of town I could tell myself I m only gonna dip in the desert right I could have all these things so I think
9
SPEAKER_01
going there with something to just kind of chew on.
9
SPEAKER_00
I really think that s smart, you re going in with a plan.
9
SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
9
SPEAKER_00
I ll try it later, but currently I m drinking spearmint tea.
9
SPEAKER_00
I m trying to drink two cups of spearmint tea a day.
9
SPEAKER_01
Does it have some kind of medicinal benefit or just arbitrarily you want to do two?
9
SPEAKER_00
Well on the package it says you can have two a day.
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh, why only two?
9
SPEAKER_00
Sometimes when I drink too much tea I feel a little weird.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s too healthy.
9
SPEAKER_00
I need a little like.
9
SPEAKER_01
Did you get haunus?
9
SPEAKER_00
I did yesterday, but not from that.
9
SPEAKER_00
Congratulations.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
You didn t even tell me.
9
SPEAKER_01
As we know, that s the greatest sign of good health.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I was really healthy.
9
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_00
I don t think that had anything to do with the tea.
9
SPEAKER_00
Maybe it did, I don t know.
9
SPEAKER_00
But anyway, I m trying to drink.
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God, I gotta tell you something.
9
SPEAKER_01
Go ahead.
9
SPEAKER_01
There are some times I m really annoyed by these comments, and then sometimes they re so preposterous I think it s laughable.
9
SPEAKER_01
So I read this comment after the expert we had on, Matthew Desmond.
9
SPEAKER_01
And the comment was like, this was such a good episode and I would love to be able to send it to friends, but then you have to make the fact check so disgusting with that potty talk.
9
SPEAKER_01
The squatty potty.
9
SPEAKER_01
This person was so- About that?
9
SPEAKER_01
That was in the fact check that we were talking about.
9
SPEAKER_01
That s like the least.
9
SPEAKER_01
If like you re sensitive and fragile to that.
9
SPEAKER_00
How are they listening to any of our shows?
9
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
9
SPEAKER_01
But this person was like, well, now I can t send it and just totally disappointed in us that we dared have a squatty potty conversation on the backside of the Desmond.
9
SPEAKER_00
I m sorry, person.
9
SPEAKER_00
Also lighten up.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s like where your knees are.
9
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
9
SPEAKER_00
We weren t even, I mean, I m sure we talked about poop because we do.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s part of the squatty potty.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s part of the squatty potty.
9
SPEAKER_00
But.
9
SPEAKER_00
Look, I would hope that this person, I feel sad for them a little because I think they re repressing some, something s going on and it s repression based.
9
SPEAKER_00
And I think it could be that they re impacted bowelly.
9
SPEAKER_00
And so they should probably get a squatty potty to release that.
9
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_01
That s probably great advice.
9
SPEAKER_00
Um, Spearman tea.
9
SPEAKER_01
I just, I tried to imagine, sorry, I got it.
9
SPEAKER_01
One more bit on this.
9
SPEAKER_01
I literally tried to imagine listening and going, Oh,
9
SPEAKER_01
Like, I tried to imagine.
9
SPEAKER_00
I can imagine it.
9
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so what do you, you must do some sense memory or some replacement?
9
SPEAKER_00
I m doing a replacement.
9
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_01
What would we be talking about?
9
SPEAKER_00
Not us.
9
SPEAKER_00
I m thinking about other shows I listen to, and I m thinking of one specifically I won t give details on.
9
SPEAKER_00
I stopped listening to this show.
9
SPEAKER_01
Because of this.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I really enjoyed the show, but the host, they can t help but be a Republican.
9
SPEAKER_00
They can t help but show that I m not aligned with them.
9
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_00
And it took a while to get there.
9
SPEAKER_00
I love the show, but, and I would have that reaction when he would say things.
9
SPEAKER_00
I was like, why do you have to take it here?
9
SPEAKER_00
Why do you have to say this?
9
SPEAKER_00
Why?
9
SPEAKER_00
And I eventually stopped listening.
9
SPEAKER_00
Right.
9
SPEAKER_00
Because it did not align with my values.
9
SPEAKER_00
And so perhaps this doesn t align with their values and that s okay.
9
SPEAKER_01
They re not, is that person not moving their bowels?
9
SPEAKER_01
I mean, this is.
9
SPEAKER_00
Some people hate potty talk and that s okay.
9
SPEAKER_00
We re not for you.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
That s just the truth.
9
SPEAKER_01
I wrote, it sounds like you made the right choice.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
9
SPEAKER_01
They were like, I m never listening to the fact check again.
9
SPEAKER_01
I m like, okay, sounds like you made the right choice.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I don t think you should engage with people like that.
9
SPEAKER_00
Because it s not fair.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s not fair though.
9
SPEAKER_01
But I engage with people on positive stuff all the time.
9
SPEAKER_00
I know, but like.
9
SPEAKER_01
I m doing a lot of engagement.
9
SPEAKER_00
I know, I m just saying.
9
SPEAKER_00
I would prefer that those people don t get any comments from us.
9
SPEAKER_00
Because then just don t listen to the fact check.
9
SPEAKER_00
The fact that you have to make it so known doesn t deserve anything from us anyway.
9
SPEAKER_01
So what I like is, well, I guess it s a little bit of a punishment.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s posed as some kind of threat.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
Like I m not gonna listen.
9
SPEAKER_01
And so a little bit of my sense of justice is like, I also want them to know like, that is fine with me.
9
SPEAKER_00
I know.
9
SPEAKER_00
I know where you re coming from.
9
SPEAKER_01
I do.
9
SPEAKER_00
I also just know that s not how it works.
9
SPEAKER_00
And that they do get confirmation for their bad behavior.
9
SPEAKER_00
They get some validation for it.
9
SPEAKER_00
That it was big enough to elicit a response.
9
SPEAKER_01
I can t win this internet thing.
9
SPEAKER_00
I know.
9
SPEAKER_01
I have made lots of progress though.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s hard.
9
SPEAKER_01
I used to get into it on Twitter.
9
SPEAKER_01
Early days of Twitter.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
I d be in like a two hour long fucking back and forth debates with strangers.
9
SPEAKER_01
I just couldn t resist.
9
SPEAKER_00
I know.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
Spearmint tea.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s beautiful.
9
SPEAKER_01
Spearmint.
9
SPEAKER_00
The reason I m doing it.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yes.
9
SPEAKER_00
Is because I ve heard it s good for your skin.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s good for hormonal acne.
9
SPEAKER_00
I ve heard.
9
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_00
And
9
SPEAKER_00
My skin has been in bad shape this year.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s obviously so hard to- It s also been in great shape this year.
9
SPEAKER_00
Well.
9
SPEAKER_01
Cause there was this period of, I m gonna remind you.
9
SPEAKER_00
I mean, this year is in 2024.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
Okay, okay.
9
SPEAKER_00
Like in the past month.
9
SPEAKER_01
Two weeks.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, in the past two weeks, two, three weeks.
9
SPEAKER_01
Okay, okay.
9
SPEAKER_00
In this last cycle, my skin has been bad.
9
SPEAKER_00
And there s so many factors, travel.
9
SPEAKER_00
Presents.
9
SPEAKER_00
Christmas food, so much travel, stress.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
Lots of stress.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
Tons of stress, but also hormones.
9
SPEAKER_00
I can feel it.
9
SPEAKER_00
I feel like this whole, since I started my period last, I feel like I ve been about to start my period for a month.
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh man.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s awful.
9
SPEAKER_00
But then I did, I am now almost at the end.
9
SPEAKER_00
I wonder, I bet this person hates period talk too.
9
SPEAKER_00
She probably doesn t have a period.
9
SPEAKER_01
Maybe she might be menopausal.
9
SPEAKER_01
Post-period.
9
SPEAKER_01
Post-period.
9
SPEAKER_00
She could also be menopausal, which is why she s upset.
9
SPEAKER_01
Well, let s not paint the menopause.
9
SPEAKER_01
You said it, not the man.
9
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what she s going through.
9
SPEAKER_00
I m just trying to lend some compassion.
9
SPEAKER_01
I know it really deeply upset her to hear about the squatty putty.
9
SPEAKER_01
I know that.
9
SPEAKER_00
Well, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
She s not gonna like this period talk.
9
SPEAKER_00
But anyway, I just had a lot of armor.
9
SPEAKER_01
Great way to put tampon.
9
SPEAKER_01
Do you ever use a squatty putty to put a tampon in?
9
SPEAKER_01
Maybe we can bring both things together and make it.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I m sure I have.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, seems like you would.
9
SPEAKER_00
I don t wear tampons as much anymore, though.
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh, okay.
9
SPEAKER_01
You re post-tampon.
9
SPEAKER_01
But not menopausal or perimenopausal.
9
SPEAKER_00
Well, I don t know, I could be peri, but I mainly try to use period underwear now, but also I do.
9
SPEAKER_01
Because it s healthier?
9
SPEAKER_00
I mean, yeah, it s like not ever.
9
SPEAKER_00
I mean, there s like all natural tampons, whatever.
9
SPEAKER_00
I m not going to get into beef with the tampon industry.
9
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, having like cotton up there is an amazing.
9
SPEAKER_00
Sure.
9
SPEAKER_00
And for me, a big fear of forgetting.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
9
SPEAKER_01
You have a big TSS.
9
SPEAKER_00
Remember when I had it?
9
SPEAKER_01
Massive shock syndrome.
9
SPEAKER_00
Almost.
9
SPEAKER_01
You can t say I had it and then say almost three seconds later.
9
SPEAKER_00
Remember when I died?
9
SPEAKER_01
Almost.
9
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, my hormones have been all over the place.
9
SPEAKER_00
I m trying to cure it with spearmint tea.
9
SPEAKER_01
How s it going?
9
SPEAKER_01
Your skin looks really good from here.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s too hard to know.
9
SPEAKER_00
Your skin looks great.
9
SPEAKER_01
I m staring at you.
9
SPEAKER_00
No, it s not.
9
SPEAKER_00
No, it does.
9
SPEAKER_01
You re not going to be able to see it by looking at your computer screen.
9
SPEAKER_00
Don t look at it.
9
SPEAKER_00
Okay, don t look at me.
9
SPEAKER_01
I guess I can stare at the quilt.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah That s not this is preferable.
9
SPEAKER_01
All right, so I ll TBD on this bear mint tea DVD We ll find out but right now it seems like it s working.
9
SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah I m not I m not filling you full of bullshit.
9
SPEAKER_01
Well, you re What am I your eyes are you gonna invalidate this?
9
SPEAKER_00
I know that you want me to feel good.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s a nice thing.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s a nice thing.
9
SPEAKER_00
Or your eyes are as bad as mine, maybe, which is great for all of us.
9
SPEAKER_01
Listen, your skin looks incredible from right here.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s caramel-y and smooth.
9
SPEAKER_01
Who doesn t like caramels?
9
SPEAKER_00
Me, actually.
9
SPEAKER_00
That woman.
9
SPEAKER_00
And that woman.
9
SPEAKER_00
That s where me and the woman can- See eye to eye.
9
SPEAKER_01
That s the common ground.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I don t.
9
SPEAKER_00
I want to, but I don t.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s too chewy.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, wow.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s just too...
9
SPEAKER_01
What if you let it dissolve in your mouth?
9
SPEAKER_00
That s all day.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you gotta get like fresh This is like grass volleyball.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, this is a SAT question.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s grass volleyball is to Right duck fat caramels, I don t I don t Olive and Sinclair.
9
SPEAKER_01
I want to love if you tried the duck butter caramel
9
SPEAKER_01
Sorry, but I m on a mission to destroy the- That s good timing with Little Dicky.
9
SPEAKER_01
It is, it is.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s true.
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh, shit, because this is Dave.
9
SPEAKER_00
That s true.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
How could we not be talking about- Yeah, if someone feels like there was a radical transition between Dave and this- They re wrong.
9
SPEAKER_00
But actually, that s not necessarily true because
10
SPEAKER_01
I don t, you know, I haven t watched the show and I assumed Dave would come in and be like, nasty, just nasty.
10
SPEAKER_00
Right, yeah, you said that.
10
SPEAKER_00
I did say it, which is why I can say it again.
10
SPEAKER_00
Which is the funnest part.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he s not at all, he s very smart and normal.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yes, and sweet.
10
SPEAKER_01
And very sweet.
10
SPEAKER_00
And cute.
10
SPEAKER_01
And so in fact, this is not really fair to him, because we are making the stereotype real.
10
SPEAKER_00
Okay, well we ll march forward regardless.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, anything else?
10
SPEAKER_00
I m going to the dunes.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
Generally, not even generally, always, I am not prepared.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s always day of that I have to leave that I m scrambling around and I m running and I m getting a battery and nothing s loaded and all this shit.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you said this last time, are there updates?
10
SPEAKER_00
Well, just the, I guess the thing that was still hanging that no one gives a fuck about an update on is I was waiting for the bus to not be operational.
10
SPEAKER_00
That was like my last, I was convinced that there s no way it would go this smooth.
10
SPEAKER_00
Last night, pulled the pop outs in, fired it up, all the suspension filled with the appropriate PSI of pressure.
10
SPEAKER_00
It leveled correctly.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s clearly can t wait to be driven and pull that trailer.
10
SPEAKER_00
And then I hooked the Raptor up to the little trailer so it s ready to get in and drive away.
10
SPEAKER_00
So all I gotta do is slide the bus back, hook it up to the trailer and I m off.
10
SPEAKER_00
The food is the best it s ever been.
10
SPEAKER_00
I downloaded movies for us to watch.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s so much nicer to be ahead of it.
10
SPEAKER_00
Because usually I m like, what I want to be is what I was this time, which is I m so excited to go.
10
SPEAKER_00
But generally, I m just completely filled with anxiety and I m not gonna have everything done and nothing s running.
10
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna have to fix shit out there.
10
SPEAKER_00
So it s like, I m not excited on the day I go.
10
SPEAKER_01
I m panicked.
10
SPEAKER_00
So this is lovely.
10
SPEAKER_01
I m proud of you.
10
SPEAKER_00
I did a six mile hike yesterday.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, incredible.
10
SPEAKER_00
Loved it.
10
SPEAKER_00
What else is new?
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, hold on.
10
SPEAKER_01
Should we talk about our creative difference?
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh, sure.
10
SPEAKER_01
Well, just because we started to talk about it.
10
SPEAKER_00
Well, I think we should talk about it on Molly s episode.
10
SPEAKER_01
But we never got into it.
10
SPEAKER_00
Well, we didn t get into it on the episode, but we talked about it, which I think in the fact check of that one, it would be satisfying to hear about it.
10
SPEAKER_01
But do you think that will stay in because that s part of the problem?
10
SPEAKER_00
Sure, let s talk about it, so go ahead.
10
SPEAKER_01
I wanna say we had a creative difference, which is so minor.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s so minor and it s so rare.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s true, we almost never have creative differences, we have personal differences.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, in life.
10
SPEAKER_01
In life that sometimes bleed in here.
10
SPEAKER_00
Sure, but gratefully we have a very similar tone in what we think things should be.
10
SPEAKER_01
Creatively, yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
We generally like and hate the same movies, we like and hate the same shows,
10
SPEAKER_01
We are very in line with our goal for this show.
10
SPEAKER_01
Absolutely.
10
SPEAKER_00
In this network.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yep, yep.
10
SPEAKER_01
Which helps, right, if everyone s following the same North Star.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s easy.
10
SPEAKER_01
And you reached out today saying that you felt that the Curt and Wyatt episode at the beginning was too long before we start, which I agree.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you do?
10
SPEAKER_01
I do agree.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
10
SPEAKER_01
It was just, it was so much longer.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
10
SPEAKER_01
That for me, it was so tight.
10
SPEAKER_00
And by the way, that was my assumption.
10
SPEAKER_00
To me, it was just like when I ve edited a scene in a movie I ve shot, and I ve been in there working on it for eight days, and then I finally show Nate and Penne, and it s like,
10
SPEAKER_00
It s still long, but relative to what I was dealing with, it feels incredibly short.
10
SPEAKER_00
So I don t really have the perspective.
10
SPEAKER_00
So I just felt like I was never like Monica has bad taste or she s critical.
10
SPEAKER_00
She s not critical.
10
SPEAKER_00
I was just like, yeah, she probably already cut a bunch out, but I was listening into it going like, I think I would have turned this off by now.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, because I agree.
10
SPEAKER_00
I actually think we agree.
10
SPEAKER_01
I think we agree too.
10
SPEAKER_00
Because I think the 30 seconds of it is awesome.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s very much when you re watching a standup special and you get to see backstage for a minute and you get to see some other things.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
But I think for me, that s gotta be really short.
10
SPEAKER_01
I agree.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so it s not really a difference at all.
10
SPEAKER_00
So you said that- And at this point, if you re hearing this, you won t even be able to compare it because it s gone.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you asked for it to get tripped.
10
SPEAKER_00
Retripped.
10
SPEAKER_01
The whole reason I wanted to bring up the creative difference is because I think you and I are getting better at navigating
10
SPEAKER_01
Problems.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I do too.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yep.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I m grateful for it.
10
SPEAKER_01
Me too.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it takes time to Understand how to do it.
10
SPEAKER_00
Well, I would hope that both of us feel over time That we both genuinely appreciate what the other person adds and we re less It s less likely to go into a zone of like this person thinks I don t know what I m doing or I m not good enough Or I m not any of these things.
10
SPEAKER_00
I hope that s what we earn over long friendship.
10
I
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I think so.
10
SPEAKER_00
Skin looks great.
10
SPEAKER_01
Stop looking at it.
10
SPEAKER_00
Rob, how s her skin look from over there?
10
SPEAKER_01
No, don t look at it!
10
SPEAKER_00
Smooth and caramel.
10
SPEAKER_00
Like a duck butter caramel.
10
SPEAKER_01
Ew.
10
SPEAKER_00
Duck fat caramel.
10
SPEAKER_00
Duck fat, duck fat.
10
SPEAKER_01
That s still...
10
SPEAKER_00
No, it s so smooth and creamy and soft.
10
SPEAKER_00
And it d take a long time to dissolve in your mouth.
10
SPEAKER_01
Too long.
10
SPEAKER_01
Not this one.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, couple facts.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, is it bad to force yourself to pee before bed?
10
SPEAKER_01
While the just-in-case pee may seem like a smart thing to do, it is actually a bad habit for your bladder.
10
SPEAKER_01
Peeing when you don t feel the immediate need to do so trains your bladder to empty when it isn t actually full yet.
10
SPEAKER_01
So all y all have bad, weak bladders.
10
SPEAKER_00
The problem is, I feel, well by the way, I always pee a bunch of ounces, and I feel like I have to pee.
10
SPEAKER_00
I think that article s for people who aren t compulsively drinking a couple gallons of fluid a day.
10
SPEAKER_01
Why don t you try, I mean, because I m a doctor now.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, Dr. Padman.
10
SPEAKER_01
I think you could just try to go four hours.
10
SPEAKER_00
Without a pee pee?
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but while you re drinking.
10
SPEAKER_00
Well, I do do that in here.
10
SPEAKER_00
I go three hours.
10
SPEAKER_00
I never get up to, I ve never interrupted an interview to pee.
10
SPEAKER_00
Now, if someone else prompts it, I will definitely do it, but I ll just deal with it.
10
SPEAKER_00
And then also when I drive very long distances, I ll do it.
10
SPEAKER_00
Although I do pee behind the wheel quite a bit.
10
SPEAKER_00
You know that about me.
10
SPEAKER_01
I know, you pee in cups and stuff.
10
SPEAKER_01
I think you should, let s train your bladder to be like mine in your pelvic floor.
10
SPEAKER_01
Mine s so strong.
10
SPEAKER_00
Solid as a rock.
10
SPEAKER_00
You also, I mean, just objectively, you drink about less than a fifth of fluid that I drink.
10
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I don t think you re always paying attention to how much I m drinking out of these mugs.
10
SPEAKER_00
Let s quickly do an inventory.
10
SPEAKER_00
So you got up and what did you have?
10
SPEAKER_01
I got up, I had to take my probiotic.
10
SPEAKER_00
No, we need fluids.
10
SPEAKER_01
I m telling you, my God.
10
SPEAKER_01
Had to take my probiotic, so I had water with that.
10
SPEAKER_00
How much water?
10
SPEAKER_00
Four ounces, three ounces?
10
SPEAKER_01
Like four sips.
10
SPEAKER_00
Four sips, okay, so probably a couple ounces.
10
SPEAKER_01
Then I had a full mug of hot water with lemon.
10
SPEAKER_00
Great, so we re at 14 ounces.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
Then I had a full mug with black tea with a little milk.
10
SPEAKER_01
How much now?
10
24, 20, 30, 27.
10
SPEAKER_00
No, no, wait, 12 plus, what did I say before?
10
SPEAKER_00
14, so 26.
10
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
Then in here.
10
SPEAKER_01
Can I get my pen out?
10
SPEAKER_00
You notice I have started holding a pen, like I m Bob Dole.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh, for your mask.
10
SPEAKER_00
It actually, I found that it helps me a lot with interrupting people.
10
SPEAKER_00
I go like, have you noticed at all when you re sitting next to me, I now spin this pen.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh.
10
SPEAKER_00
And I ve noticed it s like really helped me interrupting people.
10
SPEAKER_00
Accidental discovery.
10
SPEAKER_01
Interesting.
10
SPEAKER_00
26, okay.
10
SPEAKER_01
Then I came in here, then I had this size mug.
10
SPEAKER_00
Right, did you feel it was very brand?
10
SPEAKER_00
Extra, yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
So what are you gonna say, 14 ounces for that?
10
SPEAKER_01
I think 20.
10
SPEAKER_00
No.
10
SPEAKER_00
Are you sure?
10
SPEAKER_00
No, it s not 20 ounces.
10
SPEAKER_01
Does it say on here?
10
SPEAKER_01
It said 18.
10
SPEAKER_00
And you went, okay.
10
18.
10
SPEAKER_00
And you think it went to the very top.
10
SPEAKER_01
Fine.
10
SPEAKER_00
I m just.
10
SPEAKER_01
Fine, 16 and a half.
10
SPEAKER_01
16 and a half.
10
SPEAKER_00
So that puts us at 2.5.
10
SPEAKER_00
So 32.5 ounces.
10
SPEAKER_00
And this is my second.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, we re adding another 60.
10
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so that s gonna be 48, but you said it was 0.5, so 49, 49 flat.
10
SPEAKER_00
By 130, not too shabby.
10
SPEAKER_00
Not shabby at all, and would you agree this is a pretty abnormal intake for you?
10
SPEAKER_00
This has not historically been your intake.
10
SPEAKER_00
This has been my intake for... I don t know if I ve ever seen you go through two mugs.
10
SPEAKER_01
Since I ve been doing spearmint tea, I ve been doing... Since you got sober.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
10
SPEAKER_01
Well, that s true.
10
SPEAKER_01
I didn t drink last night or the night before.
10
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
10
SPEAKER_01
So now you add some more
11
SPEAKER_04
because of the no drinking from yesterday.
11
SPEAKER_02
No, no, that s not.
11
SPEAKER_04
It s hydration.
11
SPEAKER_02
So I woke up and I had a 12 ounce cup of coffee.
11
SPEAKER_04
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_02
Then I went to the gym and I had a 40 ounce blender cup full of pre-workout.
11
SPEAKER_04
Okay, are we, and we re counting that as liquid, even though it s like kind of.
11
SPEAKER_02
It s water.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I m definitely counting as liquid.
11
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_02
I poured it down my throat.
11
SPEAKER_04
Doesn t it have protein?
11
SPEAKER_02
No.
11
SPEAKER_04
Oh, got it.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, pre-workout is like,
11
SPEAKER_04
I don t know what that is.
11
SPEAKER_02
It s mostly caffeine.
11
SPEAKER_04
Oh, got it.
11
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_02
Then I came in here and I had 12 ounce cup of coffee that Rob had prepared for me.
11
SPEAKER_02
Thank you, Rob.
11
SPEAKER_04
Rob, was it 12, or?
11
SPEAKER_02
Oh, that one s 10, isn t it?
11
SPEAKER_02
That one s 10, but it goes all the way to the top.
11
SPEAKER_02
All right, so I ll take that down.
11
SPEAKER_02
I ll make that 10, I ll go down, so now we re at 62.
11
SPEAKER_02
It says on the coffee maker how many ounces.
11
SPEAKER_02
And then I had a 12 ounce Diet Coke, so we re at 74.
11
SPEAKER_02
And then I had half of this, this is 16.9, so I m gonna say 8.4, 8.4.
11
SPEAKER_02
So, all in, we are at
11
SPEAKER_02
82.4 versus 49 ounces.
11
SPEAKER_02
And you know, that s virtually twice as much.
11
SPEAKER_04
How many times have you peed?
11
SPEAKER_02
One time.
11
SPEAKER_04
One time today?
11
SPEAKER_02
No, not one time, just two.
11
SPEAKER_02
Five times a month.
11
SPEAKER_02
Since we ve begun recording hours ago, I ve had one squirt.
11
SPEAKER_04
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I don t know.
11
SPEAKER_02
I don t know where all this is going.
11
SPEAKER_04
I just want you to let me train your bladder.
11
SPEAKER_01
Okay, okay.
11
SPEAKER_04
My God.
11
SPEAKER_01
I think it s both.
11
SPEAKER_01
Both what?
11
SPEAKER_01
I think it s both your body doesn t like to feel like it has to pee.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
But you also drink a lot of liquids.
11
SPEAKER_01
That s a great compromise.
11
SPEAKER_01
I m the same way where if I feel like I have to pee, I m gonna just go.
11
SPEAKER_01
Neurotic body.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you guys are neurotic.
11
SPEAKER_01
But I m also drinking a ton of liquids.
11
SPEAKER_04
Well.
11
SPEAKER_04
I just need you to practice.
11
SPEAKER_01
I m gonna be at three four hundred excuses Well, I know I know where mine came from was when I was a projectionist you had a window or it was like here s ten minutes when I can pee if I gotta pee I gotta do it or have an hour until I can do it when you just said that I don t know why when you just said you were a projectionist my first thought is like Rob had a life where he like
11
SPEAKER_04
projectile vomited for like a job.
11
SPEAKER_04
Like a magician, like a weird type of magician.
11
SPEAKER_02
Sword swallower.
11
SPEAKER_04
Yes, just for half a second I thought that.
11
SPEAKER_02
I was inclined to watch some clips from AGT recently.
11
SPEAKER_04
Sure.
11
SPEAKER_02
Easter egg.
11
SPEAKER_04
Easter egg.
11
SPEAKER_02
And there was a performer who put a like three foot sword down their throat.
11
SPEAKER_02
That s not the terrifying part.
11
SPEAKER_02
They then did a back flip.
11
SPEAKER_02
They had to train themselves to do a backflip without using their, like without doing what you have to do to initiate that.
11
SPEAKER_04
Fuck.
11
SPEAKER_04
It hurts, it hurts me, it hurts my body.
11
SPEAKER_02
Me too, because you gotta think of where that pressure would be, it s like in your anus.
11
SPEAKER_04
How do you even, but even lifting your legs.
11
SPEAKER_02
Does it come out his anus?
11
SPEAKER_02
That would be a trick if he put it in his mouth and pulled the whole sword out of his ass.
11
SPEAKER_02
That person would have to win.
11
SPEAKER_04
Rachel McAdams, it is unclear if she s married because on Wikipedia, it s just partner.
11
SPEAKER_04
She has a partner.
11
SPEAKER_04
So my guess is they re not.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I d probably say spouse.
11
SPEAKER_02
Kurt and Goldie never married.
11
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, I like that.
11
SPEAKER_02
I do too.
11
SPEAKER_04
Okay, Alexander Pushkin.
11
SPEAKER_04
That s who Dave rapped to.
11
SPEAKER_02
And who Malcolm named his company after.
11
SPEAKER_04
Actually, I wanted to email Malcolm and just do a little double check on that.
11
SPEAKER_04
Make sure that s where the name came from.
11
SPEAKER_04
But I was in a rush and I didn t.
11
SPEAKER_02
Okay, I guess we could TBD that.
11
SPEAKER_04
We can TBD it.
11
SPEAKER_04
I will email him today.
11
SPEAKER_04
He s a Russian poet.
11
SPEAKER_04
I just want everyone to know, if they don t know, Russian poet, playwright, novelist of the Romantic era.
11
SPEAKER_04
He s considered by many to be the greatest Russian poet, as well as the founder of modern Russian literature.
11
SPEAKER_04
Pushkin was born into the Russian nobility in Moscow.
11
SPEAKER_04
What year?
11
SPEAKER_04
In 1799.
11
SPEAKER_02
Just at the end.
11
SPEAKER_02
Sure wish he would have remembered that rap and then did it for us.
11
SPEAKER_04
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_04
Um, the Emmy performance is here if you want to watch a little bit of it.
11
SPEAKER_04
The one that he talked about.
11
SPEAKER_02
Oh, right, right.
11
SPEAKER_02
Or he didn t know what he was doing.
11
SPEAKER_04
But he said it looks good.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s great.
11
SPEAKER_00
You d have no idea.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, no problem.
11
SPEAKER_04
Wow, that s impressive.
11
SPEAKER_02
Thank God he prerecorded it.
11
SPEAKER_04
Well, exactly, that was the whole thing, but he really pulled off the motions.
11
SPEAKER_02
He sure did.
11
SPEAKER_02
I bought every second of it and I even knew.
11
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, same.
11
SPEAKER_02
It was so good, I started wondering if his story was true.
11
SPEAKER_02
Me too.
11
SPEAKER_02
I was like, he lied.
11
SPEAKER_02
This guy s full of shit.
11
SPEAKER_02
What else did he lie about?
11
SPEAKER_04
Oh man, that s it.
11
SPEAKER_02
That s everything?
11
SPEAKER_04
That s all for Dave.
11
SPEAKER_04
Dave was really fun.
11
SPEAKER_02
I really, really, really enjoyed him.
11
SPEAKER_02
I like sweet boys.
11
SPEAKER_04
I do too, vulnerable boys.
11
SPEAKER_02
Vulnerable boys are nice, yeah.
11
SPEAKER_04
You could take him with you to the sand dunes with Aaron and it ll be a bunch of vulnerable boys.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I don t know if that s up his alley, but I m willing to extend that.
11
SPEAKER_04
No one thinks it s up, well obviously some people do, but a lot of people don t think it s up their alley until they try it.
11
SPEAKER_02
I totally agree.
11
SPEAKER_02
You would be in that group.
11
SPEAKER_02
One of my favorite things is you even thanked me one time.
11
SPEAKER_02
You said, thanks for having me do that.
11
SPEAKER_02
That s not something I would have ever done in life.
11
SPEAKER_04
And that was also for shrooms.
11
SPEAKER_04
And so since I have so much evidence of doing things outside my comfort zone, I think you can trust.
11
SPEAKER_04
I just really don t like grass volleyball.
11
SPEAKER_02
But really quick.
11
SPEAKER_02
I don t want to scratch a fresh wound.
11
SPEAKER_02
Did we find out that you have tried grass volleyball?
11
SPEAKER_04
I ve tried it.
11
SPEAKER_02
Are we sure?
11
SPEAKER_02
I m not sure.
11
SPEAKER_02
Okay, you didn t feel like you were totally sure.
11
SPEAKER_04
I already told you that it has nothing to do with the grass.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it s your wrists.
11
SPEAKER_04
It s my wrists, my dainty, dainty wrists.
11
SPEAKER_02
Right, yeah.
11
SPEAKER_02
So I accept it, it s just, it is hard when someone says, I do not like tomato soup, I ve never tried it.
11
SPEAKER_04
But no, it s like saying, no, okay.
11
SPEAKER_04
It s like saying, I don t like tomato soup.
11
SPEAKER_04
I ve never tried it, but I hate tomatoes.
11
SPEAKER_04
Yes, I did a great analogy.
11
SPEAKER_02
That s fair, that s a really good one.
11
SPEAKER_02
But I can immediately think of an exception, which is many, many people, myself included, most of my life hated onions.
11
SPEAKER_02
I hate them, love onion rings.
11
SPEAKER_02
And that s very common.
11
SPEAKER_02
My kids hate onions and they love onion rings.
11
SPEAKER_02
So you might like tomato soup even if you hate tomatoes, because it certainly does not taste like eating a tomato on a sandwich.
11
SPEAKER_04
That s right, it is different.
11
SPEAKER_02
Right.
11
SPEAKER_02
So I don t know, now we re back here.
11
SPEAKER_04
What is gonna happen if I play grass volleyball and I break my fucking wrist and it is the- Then you can sue me and own my house.
11
SPEAKER_04
No, it is the float all over, the tubing.
11
SPEAKER_02
over again.
11
SPEAKER_04
You want to put yourself in this position?
11
SPEAKER_02
That s a bummer.
11
SPEAKER_02
That s just the one strike against me though, because again, the dunes worked out for you.
11
SPEAKER_02
You probably had the same similar fear about the dunes, but that one worked out.
11
SPEAKER_03
Shrooms was almost a, but it worked out.
11
SPEAKER_03
It worked out, but it was almost a baddie.
11
SPEAKER_02
Now let me ask you- That s a big strike.
11
SPEAKER_02
I don t even really want the answer to this, but I do.
11
SPEAKER_02
So because that happened, would you have preferred to never have gone on that trip?
11
SPEAKER_04
It s hard to regret something that didn t happen.
11
SPEAKER_04
Like if I had died, I bet I would have regretted it.
11
SPEAKER_04
You d have broken an arm, maybe.
11
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_04
Even that, if I had recovered, it s hard to look back on things and regret them if you re okay.
11
SPEAKER_02
I was just telling my mother this exact same thing.
11
SPEAKER_02
As long as you end up where you wanna be, every detail and piece of it is wonderful.
11
SPEAKER_04
But do you wish, do you regret, if you could go back in time, would you be like, Monica, I don t think you should come?
11
SPEAKER_04
Because you have to handle the burden.
11
SPEAKER_02
That s not the adjustment I would make.
11
SPEAKER_04
Sure.
11
SPEAKER_02
The adjustment I would make, like the error I had, my big blunder was they changed that dam.
11
SPEAKER_02
It used to be this really smooth spillover that really nothing would have happened to you.
11
SPEAKER_02
And that changed.
11
SPEAKER_02
And I guess maybe I should have looked into if the river changed or not.
11
SPEAKER_02
So I regret that part is like, I had promised you something that ultimately it wasn t true.
11
SPEAKER_04
Well, I want to relieve that you didn t have to look any, that would have been crazy if you were looking stuff up and double checking.
11
SPEAKER_02
It felt like a crazy thing to assume they might have removed the dam, even though they do do these river reclamation projects where they get rid of dams.
12
SPEAKER_00
I was as shocked as you were.
12
SPEAKER_03
I know.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
As we were approaching, I m like, this doesn t look entirely... Well, Delta and I ate shit before you did.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_02
But you guys know how to sweat.
12
SPEAKER_00
And I was the most bloodied of the sitch, if you recall.
12
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, but you weren t the most traumatized.
12
SPEAKER_03
Not at all.
12
SPEAKER_00
No, I lived to get bloody.
12
SPEAKER_03
You love it.
12
SPEAKER_03
All right, well, that s all.
12
SPEAKER_03
I hope you have a great trip.
12
SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
12
SPEAKER_03
And I ll see on the... And Dave Bird, we love you.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
You made it this far.
12
SPEAKER_01
All right, love you.
12
Okay, bye.