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This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.
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Look at how fast, we re almost halfway through the year.
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Crazy, yeah.
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Are you proud of what you ve done in 2024 so far?
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Life goes so fast, David.
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I mean, there s so many things you can do here to be a better version of yourself.
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You can probably always sharpen it.
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Yeah, I mean, I had a therapist in Portland and I would commute and that was a pain.
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Hey guys, I m introducing Kevin Nealon, one of my all-time favorites.
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I won t be doing with Dana, he s in traffic, and so I hurry and rushed and did it by myself because then I get to be me, me, me.
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Sometimes when I send an email, I put subject, me.
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Sometimes I don t.
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You know, it s gonna be a strug without Dana.
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You re gonna have to strug through, folks.
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Strug it up.
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Kevin Nealon, by the way, Kevin Nealon has a book out.
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You know, Kevin, he does caricatures, is that fair to say?
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Cartoons, he s great at it.
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I don t know if he s done The Spade Man, but he s done a bunch and I see him on his Instagram.
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But the book is called, I Exaggerate My Brushes With Fame.
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Classic Kevin Nealon, very clever title.
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He paints or something, you know, in the brush.
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Do you get it?
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Oh my God, I m not gonna walk you through all of them.
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Okay, by the way, I saw Miles Teller the other night.
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I was at a undisclosed Hollywood hotspot.
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And I said, if you ever host SNL, you should have them all lined up in the monologue, the whole cast, and just name them all.
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Sponge bath, popcorn, camel toe.
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Who d fucking kill?
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If you wanna kill, do you wanna bomb?
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Do something else.
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And then you could add this noise when the plane flies over.
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If you want.
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Call that, I ll call it in.
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Anyway, Kevin was, is great with his jokes because you know what he does?
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He doesn t put any spin on them.
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He puts nothing.
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And I loved it.
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Cause I used to do standup when I started, I was at the improv and it s his name on the chalkboard.
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I always say this, but it was like Paul Reiser, Jay Leno, Jerry Seinfeld, Jeff Altman, like all these great comics.
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And I got to bring them up.
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They made me be an MC for a while.
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So I d have to go, well, what do you want me to say about you?
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And I go, just say I ve been on Merv Griffin, Carson, and you know, Mike Douglas.
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Those are old shows.
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And I d go, okay, whatever they are.
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Open for Joanne Worley and Phyllis Dill.
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You know, it was like back in the day.
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So, but Nealon was always one of the ones I d watch.
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And I go, God, he does not put any spin on it.
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Dry as stuff.
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the most throwaway jokes.
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And I was sort of patterning after that.
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Like I was sort of a research paper of Dennis Miller and all the comics I like.
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And then I kind of went into my own thing.
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But at the beginning, you have to like people.
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And, you know, but I also like Steve Martin, Eddie Murphy.
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So, you know, you just never know, but Kevin is great.
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He was great to talk to as advertised.
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I was repeating a bunch of his jokes to him, which I always do.
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And I think you ll like it.
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Here he is, Kevin Nilon.
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I have a question for you, but I gotta wait for Dana, they said.
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Okay, they re all dumb, though.
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How s the thing going?
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Oh, it s just going through the roof, buddy.
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Awesome, man.
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I think.
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I don t know.
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Hey, I love your red... It s an audio podcast, sorry.
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I ve been losing more stuff on the road.
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I can leave it on airplane pockets and stuff.
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I had the little ones.
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but they re kind of gone now, along with my Apple pencil, my iPad pencil.
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You know, I was on a flight this week and in the seat back in front of me, it said, this whole, you know, placket about the safety briefing has been scrubbed down with antibacterial stuff.
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It s stamped on it.
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I go, I don t believe it.
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I was skeptical.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Because they never even touched it after that.
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And I was like, I touched it.
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I don t believe the life preservers work either, you know, or the Ostromax.
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Well, I have such a terrible fear of flying.
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When they come around and we get to a comfortable cruising altitude and they go, well, would you like a beverage?
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So inside I m screaming for a beer, because my pulse is like 160.
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Yeah.
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But I m like, oh, I don t know.
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What do you got?
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I ll have grapefruit juice.
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No, I guess I ll have a Heineken.
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Oh, you dance around a little bit.
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Well, my wife, she has no fear of flying, so she orders coffee and a Heineken, and then I order a Heineken, and then I have two, and then I put them on her tray, and I kind of shrugged to the flight attendant like, I don t know, she s got an issue.
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You beat the system.
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One time I was joking around.
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I m on the ground, I don t drink.
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Yeah, go ahead.
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One time I was joking around with a flight attendant, it was like a 7 a.m.
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flight.
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She goes, can I get you something to drink?
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I said, yeah, I ll have a scotch on the rocks, and it was like,
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ordering orange juice, he goes, okay, want that on the rocks.
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Okay, would you like something, sir?
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Yeah, because a lot of people drink when they re flying.
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Because of Fear and Flying, this famous actress flew next to me once.
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Guess who?
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Is it Sophia Lauren?
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No, it predates her.
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But anyway, this actress was really cool, because they came around with these vodka lemon drinks on this flight.
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And she goes, I ll do it twice, as opposed to give me two of them.
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And she kept saying, I m going to sleep later, so I ll do it twice.
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That s what I say to my wife, ladies and gentlemen, the comedy never, why is anyone?
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Listen, Dana, my airplane bits, I think I did on my first Tonight Show, airplane bits are a real staple of comedians, I feel, and I think we all have some, and I remember the one that I can t do anymore, A, because it s old, even though Seinfeld said you should still do old jokes,
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But I said, when you re in first class and then they, you re in coach and they, you re a loser in coach.
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So the lady will walk out of first class and look at you.
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Then she looks back and shuts the little curtain.
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So you can t even see the people in first class.
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She s like, it s a good sound too.
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And then she, she snaps it shut.
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And then she comes back later with a tire gun and goes, I m not looking.
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I m like, I remember this one.
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I like the effects.
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I know what that curtain close looks like from first class, but not from coach.
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Oh, you look back and you go, can you get one more snap?
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You know who was on my flight two weeks ago?
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Jon Hamm.
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Oh.
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Jon Hamm.
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I didn t say anything to him because I didn t want to have to walk back to coach.
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You know what I mean?
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So rude.
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Can I do my impression of Jon Hamm?
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Yeah.
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I don t even know you.
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What s that from, Bridesmaids?
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I can t, I don t even know you.
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I don t even know you.
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It s someone asking him a favor on Mad Men.
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I don t even know you.
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Oh, you know, I see it.
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I can t hear myself.
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Dana, I ve seen memes where, because I m like, I m representing the younger generation here.
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I ve seen memes where, because I m tragically still on Instagram.
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But they show Jon Hamm in an elevator or something, and someone says something to him, and then they put a picture of Jon Hamm going, I don t even know you.
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So it must be a famous line from the show.
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It also makes you do the impression.
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Kevin, what s your famous, for you, airplane bit?
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Do you have one?
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Oh, yeah.
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I was flying the other day, and I think the pilot was a little inexperienced.
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It was already funny.
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I like this guy.
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We re getting ready to take off because folks, we ll be taking off in a few minutes.
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Whoa, here we go.
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I love that he s a little inexperienced.
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I was kind of nervous.
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And then we got half, we got, we were up in the air for like, we were up in the air for like 20 minutes.
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And he comes back on the PA, goes, folks, I can t seem to figure out where, oh, nevermind, I got it.
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Oh, here s a good one.
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I go, we land, I go, why are you allowed to land anywhere near the actual airport?
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We re taxing around and going inside.
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I m like, hey, I saw some lights over there.
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Oh, we re going this way.
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And then I go, all right.
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And then we got to the gate.
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And we re not even allowed to park at the gate.
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And then we start following this pilot.
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He s walking to a plane, because I see him holding his keys.
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But then he s just getting something out of his plane, so we can t park there.
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I think that was it.
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It was better, I guess.
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I was in an emergency landing once.
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I ve had many of them.
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I discovered that the overhead luggage compartments are not emergency exits.
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You just crawled up there.
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I did one that we ll probably have to cut this out, but I was playing Spellbinders in Houston in the 80s.
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I didn t go on the road that much, but Bill Hicks, who s a famous comedian who passed away, was my opener.
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So he would dare me to do a hacky opening.
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So I don t know if it was my joke, and I couldn t do it today, it ll be canceled, but it was like, I d go up and I d go, hey, ladies and gentlemen, I flew here on Mexicana Airlines.
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It was a great airline.
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The pilot had dice hanging in the cockpit.
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And he just thought that was the greatest thing ever.
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That guy would go on stage with a sport coat for like 20 minutes.
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He had a big sport coat on, he s doing all his jokes.
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And then he would reach in and pull out an ice cold Budweiser beer.
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He kept it in his jacket like a magician for 20 minutes for that one joke.
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Who did?
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Anyway, one time he tried to drink a dove.
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He pulled that out by mistake.
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Oh, I had that with the great Scott at Comedy Magic Club.
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The birds, he d get them and they d come out of his jacket.
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He didn t know where they were coming from and he pulled it out and it was dead.
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I thought they were made of paper.
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That s your showstopper, ladies and gentlemen.
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Hey, no, but Kevin, you ll like this story, I think, because we re comedians, but I was telling somebody last night that one of my buddies was a waiter at the Dallas Improv.
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Remember the Dallas Improv?
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I love the old one in Dallas off, uh,
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Central and Walnut, I think.
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And it was right next to Kroger s.
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And so a comedian came in, and he was there in the day setting up.
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And the comedian, the headliner, is kind of jerky.
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I don t even know who it was, for real.
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But he came in.
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He starts bossing everyone around, getting the keys to the condo, and asking them this and that, and sort of being pushy.
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So the waiters realized they didn t like him.
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And then he came back in for the show.
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And he goes to my buddy, hey, come here.
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And he goes, because this is, some people that listen to this know comedy, you have to adapt to a city.
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So he goes, what s the big store around here?
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Is it Alpha Beta?
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He goes, no, it s Kroger s.
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That s the one around the corner.
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He goes, yeah, yeah, okay.
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And you guys have a Circle K?
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He goes, no, we have 7-Eleven.
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He goes, yeah, okay, okay.
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You know, he s working his act out.
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Then he goes, and what s this big, huge street right in front of you with all the traffic?
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He goes, oh, that s Apollo Boulevard, which was a lie.
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And so,
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The guy gets up and he starts killing and then he goes, and that was crazy, I couldn t even get here because of Apollo Boulevard.
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He just comes to a complete screeching halt.
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And then he goes, Apollo over here.
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And someone goes, Central Expressway.
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He goes, no, Apollo.
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He s arguing with him.
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And then he just keeps digging a deeper hole and he comes up to my friend later, he s like, you fucking dick.
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And he s like, he goes, oh yeah, you know what, I said it wrong, that is Central Expressway.
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Mike Myers and I were playing Green Bay, Wisconsin, I think.
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They said, oh, they love it.
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They love it if you say cheese heads.
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So we went up there.
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I don t know if we re doing Wayne and Garth or whatever.
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Cheese heads, cheese heads.
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I swear there was almost a riot.
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That is like a slur.
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Cheese, and we kept doing it.
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I was like, I don t know what s going on, man.
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Anyway, we should introduce our guest today, Kevin Nealon.
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Oh yeah, Kevin Nealon.
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Saturday Night Live, All-Star, Weeds.
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How many times has he been on The Tonight Show?
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Letterman, how many specials?
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Three?
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Three stand-up specials?
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Four?
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Two.
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Two, but working on a third.
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Two, but all good material.
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I didn t space it out like a lot of comics.
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You know, Seinfeld said, Seinfeld says every comedian, even the good ones, have about an hour 20 of good material, even if they do 10 specials.
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He goes, you re quoting Seinfeld a lot.
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You know what?
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That s the only second time.
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That s it.
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But he s the Pope because there s more to come.
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Yeah, that s the every quarter, the rules of how you re supposed to stand up.
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You can obey him or not, but he has definite rules of how to say about Jesus.
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He said, I don t do religion, then half the people hate you.
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You know, I think this is a big compliment.
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Kevin, some of the top comedians will talk and say, Kevin is one of the tallest comedians.
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That has to mean something to you.
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It s really a compliment, you know, because, you know, there s rumors out there that I m not that tall.
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So when somebody validates that for me, it really
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And it s weird too, because I have a fear of heights.
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So every day I live in fear.
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Kevin, you know, I was saying the other day that if you re ever around a vulture, don t play dead because that s what they want.
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That s right.
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That s one of Nealon s old bits.
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Not even a bit, it s more of a line.
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Yeah, that s yours.
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I didn t know that was mine.
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Oh, for real?
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It s funny.
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Yeah.
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Let s go back and say, before we get to SNL, when Kevin Nealon and I used to watch, and when I started and I was at the improv, which was a big deal, I was doing hosting, which is a hard job.
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And I would host and have to bring every comic up from 8 to 1 a.m.
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And I d end up in the hallway and I d go, what do you want me to say about you?
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And so I d kind of know comics, kind of, you know, acquaintances, because they d say, oh, you re the MC, blah, blah, blah.
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But Nealon was on the chalkboard.
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Carvey wasn t there as much, but I was pretty influenced
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by a little peppering of Nealon, a little Carvey, a little Dennis Miller.
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And when you re starting out, you start to see all these great comics right in front of you.
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You don t have to wait a week or three to see them on Carson or something.
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So I got influence, but you guys were all great.
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And then something happened.
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Remember Nealon, when I got kicked out of John Mulroney s place,
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because his roommate who actually passed away, God, that comic was great.
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And then I said, you said, oh, why don t you rent my room while I, you got SNL, remember that whole thing?
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Yeah, yeah, you rented my room.
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And Al Siona.
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And Al Siona.
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Yeah, so it was me, you, Bob Duback,
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Dana above the garage and Joe, the writer.
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My wife and I, Joe Kenney.
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Joe Kenney.
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Joe Kenney.
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We lived above the garage.
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It was like a little mini compound, not fancy at all.
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I got hassled by the postal service there.
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That s a whole nother story.
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But my wife and I were saving her salary, which was $29,000 a year working for a state assemblyman.
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so we could save up and buy a house.
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So it was 300 bucks a month and it was just a room with a sink.
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We had a hot plate.
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I come back after a gig and just watch TV with headphones on and she would sleep.
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And Kevin rented it to us or Kevin and Bob or Kevin invited us to live there.
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Bob was like the ringleader of the place.
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SPEAKER_00
I was just a renter.
1
SPEAKER_00
I had that little bedroom on the end there.
1
SPEAKER_00
But I went back there about a year ago
1
SPEAKER_00
with my wife and son to just see what it looked like.
1
SPEAKER_00
And the owners were there and they had filled in the driveway with a yard and a swing set.
1
SPEAKER_00
And a little yard that goes across the front.
1
SPEAKER_00
You could park a little bit in there, but it doesn t have that big parking lot.
1
SPEAKER_00
I told him we used to live there.
1
SPEAKER_00
And in fact, the guy s wife, Dana, did your costume.
1
SPEAKER_00
for the commercial you guys did or wardrobe for the Wayne and Garth for the Super Bowl commercial.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, really?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
So she knew you.
1
SPEAKER_00
But they gave me a tour of the place.
1
SPEAKER_00
I went inside and they changed it around a little bit.
1
SPEAKER_00
I saw where your apartment was, which is their office now.
1
SPEAKER_00
And there s like a downstairs.
1
SPEAKER_00
Nobody lives downstairs.
1
SPEAKER_00
They have a staircase and a living room that goes down to the lower apartment.
1
SPEAKER_02
Wait, was there, it was all one story, right?
1
SPEAKER_02
Like your bedroom was close to El Siona.
1
SPEAKER_00
There was a couple that lived downstairs with their baby.
1
SPEAKER_00
Downstairs, I don t even remember that.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t think I was allowed.
1
SPEAKER_02
No, I wasn t allowed because, but Nealon was very nice because when he d come back on the, I had just done like Police Academy, I was pretty new.
1
SPEAKER_02
And when you guys would come home, that was really exciting because
1
SPEAKER_02
You had war stories and you would say hi to me and kneel and you would stay on the couch.
1
SPEAKER_02
You wouldn t even kick me out of the room because you thought that was unfair.
1
SPEAKER_00
Why don t I remember any of this stuff?
1
SPEAKER_02
I know because I was forgettable and I ve been told that by my parents, especially my dad.
1
SPEAKER_00
I do remember that when you got on SNL, I lost, I lost my sub letter.
1
SPEAKER_00
So you really couldn t.
2
SPEAKER_02
That screwed me over, though.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah, that is true.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I had to keep- We should tell the story.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah, go ahead.
2
SPEAKER_01
Go ahead.
2
SPEAKER_01
No, no, but we re all, all three interacted in this mid-80s thing, and we all eventually ended up on SNL, but when I met David, I wasn t, never had been on SNL.
2
SPEAKER_01
When I met Kevin, he d never been on SNL.
2
SPEAKER_01
I got on SNL by a long, long story for another time, but then, freakily,
2
SPEAKER_01
They had one last slot they were trying to cast in New York, and this is true, it sounds funny at the time, but they mentioned Chevy or somehow, I don t know if they were serious, but it was somebody tall or something.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I said, well, I know someone tall.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then through whatever machinations, Bruce Lee and Gray or whatever, Kevin,
2
SPEAKER_01
came out to the studio, and I think, so now Kevin s auditioning, but the show had been cast, but I think we were in 8H, and didn t you just sort of stand near us, like eight or 10 people do stand-up, or where were you?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it wasn t a typical audition, I don t think.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I went there, and I immediately got tired when I walked into that studio, because I used to fall asleep watching that show, and it was an association thing, you know?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you were watching.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
David and I used to do characters at our house and I ll see on the drive in the Hollywood Hills, you know, we would stand out in the driveway and just kind of riff on on different, like a couple of different characters.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I didn t do any characters or accents or impressions.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know, I was just a stand up, a really, really good stand up.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s true.
2
SPEAKER_00
I ll show you.
2
SPEAKER_00
You ll see.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, no, I m going to make an option.
2
SPEAKER_01
I d like to make an observation.
2
SPEAKER_01
The thing about your style of stand-up, which really lent itself to this high-pressure situation, was you never know when you ve started.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, you re suddenly kind of talking and there s no presentation or like, now here s my joke.
2
SPEAKER_01
You just start doing that sly kind of, you know, you always gotta, you gotta keep pace with life, whatever.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then, so you essentially killed, but go ahead.
2
SPEAKER_00
I got a studio at H and typically they have you on the center stage, I guess, and you have to do like three characters and three accents or something.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what it is, but there wasn t that demand when I went there.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I just kind of, I did the characters we worked on a couple of, I think it was a couple of Sammies and it was like the two guys, the two porn stars talking about, you know, talking about very casual stuff.
2
SPEAKER_00
Were some of them a little undercooked?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, totally.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, they never got fully baked.
2
SPEAKER_01
They were very undercooked.
2
SPEAKER_02
And it s like, here s a wispy idea that I m fucking just throwing shit out to hope something, you know.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s what I was doing.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s what I was doing.
2
SPEAKER_02
They look for a nugget of a thought.
2
SPEAKER_02
I think downing those guys and the more they go.
2
SPEAKER_02
I like
2
SPEAKER_02
that weird idea, even if it s undercooked and it s not quite fully formed and written out.
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, we got great writers here.
2
SPEAKER_02
You give us that idea.
2
SPEAKER_02
We throw it on the table.
2
SPEAKER_02
I bet we could come up with something.
2
SPEAKER_02
So that s what I learned.
2
SPEAKER_02
They like, but go ahead.
2
SPEAKER_02
Sorry.
2
SPEAKER_02
Go ahead.
2
SPEAKER_00
My memories tells me that I was sitting, I was standing at the end of the bleachers or something.
2
SPEAKER_00
And yeah, it was on the floor.
2
SPEAKER_00
And everybody like Dennis Miller, you, John Lovitz, Nora Dunn, Lorne, Marcy, yeah, Phil.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if Phil was there, but anyway, you guys were all on the bleachers watching me.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I did my thing, it was very short, and then I left.
2
SPEAKER_02
You know what s funny?
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh yeah, his act is so dry that it s almost, I think I took a page out of that because if it doesn t work, you re almost like it wasn t supposed to work.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m just talking, I was just talking, and now I m leaving.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m out there screaming, desperate, trying to get laughs, and if I swing and a miss, it s over.
2
SPEAKER_01
But Kevin, I want to know the timeline from when you first heard in California, hey, they might be interested in SNL, can you fly to New York, you do your thing,
2
SPEAKER_01
Is that like a week later and then you find out the next day or how soon?
2
SPEAKER_00
It was very quick.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was very quick.
2
SPEAKER_00
I remember that it was like a weekend.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like on Friday, I think they told me I have it.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m coming to New York.
2
SPEAKER_00
I didn t have the chance to really to tell my friends that I was on SNL.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know, I just packed up, I got Spade to rent my room and I went to New York.
2
SPEAKER_00
Did you stay at the Omni Berkshire?
2
SPEAKER_00
I think so.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I or the Essex house.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t even remember like I didn t even know New York that well.
2
SPEAKER_00
And Al Franken said, you ve got to find a good neighborhood to live in.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I think, is it New York a neighborhood?
2
SPEAKER_00
I didn t know there were separate neighborhoods.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know, you gotta find a place that s close to a subway and something with grocery stores, you know, like the Upper West Side or whatever.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
So, Dana and I actually, after a couple of years in, we lived in the same apartment building on Broadway.
2
SPEAKER_00
At the Bromley?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Bromley s very, very nice.
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, for the price.
2
SPEAKER_02
I think Mikey Myers stayed at the Bromley and then Farley moved into the Bromley.
2
SPEAKER_01
Huh.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, there was a movie theater right underneath it, which was kind of cool.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it was close to the park.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it wasn t too expensive.
2
SPEAKER_00
Across from Zabar s and H&H Bagels not far away.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Everyone lived up the West that I knew, Andy and Katie, my relatives lived up there.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then slowly, I m not jumping ahead, but slowly people trickled to the village and I didn t, because I only knew my little haunts.
2
SPEAKER_02
And by the time it was over, I didn t know anybody up there.
2
SPEAKER_00
I moved to the West Village and it was a beautiful,
2
SPEAKER_00
federal style home, I think they call it, like a brownstone.
2
SPEAKER_00
We have the top two floors.
2
SPEAKER_00
Dana, did you ever come over there?
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t think so.
2
SPEAKER_00
It had four fireplaces, high ceilings, and it was just really cool.
2
SPEAKER_00
And it s right next to the meat market district, which is now like the hip place.
2
SPEAKER_00
But back then it was really the meat market.
2
SPEAKER_00
And at night when I come home from SNL, I d see these like rave clubs where there d be these transgenders out front, you know, waiting to go in, you know, like three in the morning.
2
SPEAKER_00
But now it s like totally gentrified and it s beautiful.
2
SPEAKER_01
So then maybe what, a week or two later, you re premiering on Saturday Night Live?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, are you at the beginning of a season or are you at the- Yeah, I m at the beginning of 86, that fall.
2
SPEAKER_01
The first show, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Who was the host?
2
SPEAKER_00
It was Sigourney Weaver.
2
SPEAKER_00
Ooh, good one.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yes, Sigourney Weaver was the host.
2
SPEAKER_00
I remember at the end of that,
2
SPEAKER_00
week when she was saying the good nights, I was so jealous because she got to go, she got to leave.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I had to kind of like, she was like a prisoner getting released.
2
SPEAKER_01
Just because of that.
2
SPEAKER_01
How did you handle the nerves?
2
SPEAKER_01
Because it was so intense.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s just crazy, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, you know what I pretended because the year before that, the ratings were so low and they almost pulled the plug.
2
SPEAKER_00
In fact, we all lived out of our suitcases every day.
2
SPEAKER_00
We didn t know if the show was going to get canceled.
2
SPEAKER_00
So that s what I kept in mind.
2
SPEAKER_00
I thought nobody s watching this show.
2
SPEAKER_00
Otherwise, my nerves would have killed me.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I thought, you know, I m used to playing in front of 300 people, which is about how many are in that studio.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then I remember I was still nervous, though, and we re away from a commercial.
2
SPEAKER_00
And my first sketch was Mr. Subliminal, which is kind of like two conversations at once, you know?
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, wow.
2
SPEAKER_02
That was on the first show you got to do that?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
So 10 seconds before the sketch is supposed to start,
2
SPEAKER_00
You know, we re away at a commercial and we re coming back from the commercial.
2
SPEAKER_00
Lorne comes up to me and he puts his hand on my shoulder and he says to me, are you sure this is what you want?
2
SPEAKER_01
What?
2
SPEAKER_01
That s his way to relax you, I suppose.
2
SPEAKER_01
But he would say those funny things.
2
SPEAKER_01
So give us 10 seconds of Mr. Subliminal so people know what we re talking about.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, Mr. Subliminal is a guy who kind of inserts these words into a sentence to get what he wants, you know, like.
2
SPEAKER_00
If I go to a deli or something, I said, you know, I think I ll have the corned beef sandwich, your treat.
2
SPEAKER_00
Maybe, you know, why don t you throw in a Diet Coke too, whiskey, and that ll be good for me, you know.
2
SPEAKER_01
He manipulates his way through life like subliminal messages.
2
SPEAKER_02
And his name is Mr. Subliminal.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I love it.
2
SPEAKER_02
First show, you got a good one on.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I got a good one and I started getting recognized right away.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s the funnest part.
2
SPEAKER_02
I mean, it takes a while to get famous and then you just stay famous, but it takes longer.
2
SPEAKER_02
Back then, SNL, there was probably SNL and maybe HBO, there wasn t a ton of choices.
2
SPEAKER_02
I mean, there was three networks or four networks, maybe.
2
SPEAKER_01
And cable was very new.
2
SPEAKER_01
Cable s new, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
So it wasn t so overriding, and you would get recognized.
2
SPEAKER_01
There was a water cooler effect to it, and Kevin and I, and we had a small cast, so everyone got involved pretty quickly.
2
SPEAKER_01
you re on two or three things a show.
2
SPEAKER_02
Was Jan that year?
2
SPEAKER_02
You met Jan on the show?
2
SPEAKER_02
I love Jan Hooks.
2
SPEAKER_02
She was so fucking funny.
2
SPEAKER_01
Jan Hooks and Phil Hartman and Kevin and I came in and then Lovitz and Dennis, Nora Dunn and Whitney Brown were there.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think that was it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Wait, so Dana, you hadn t started yet?
2
SPEAKER_01
And then Victoria Jackson.
2
SPEAKER_01
So you were living with Lauren.
2
SPEAKER_01
My first show was Kevin s first show.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was living with Lauren in Long Island, but then I got a place in Manhattan, and my first show was Kevin s first show.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I ve been there since August, hanging out.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was about to say, you actually had some influence.
2
SPEAKER_01
You haven t even started yet.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was with Lauren for a month.
2
SPEAKER_01
I didn t know.
2
SPEAKER_01
He used to come out, and initially it was just me.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was the only one out there.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then Chevy Chase would visit.
2
SPEAKER_01
How scary that you would go stay with Lauren and see McCartney and these guys?
2
SPEAKER_01
McCartney,
3
SPEAKER_02
hanging out every night with McCartney we all got to know McCartney the Paul well Lauren does one of it he knows there s Paul Simon and Paul McCartney so you said Paul s coming over tonight and you have to ask Paul who McCartney and I never even been on television
3
SPEAKER_00
One time we were all having lunch.
3
SPEAKER_00
I think it was Central Cafe in New York.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was me, Steve Martin-Lorne, and maybe Billy Joel was there too.
3
SPEAKER_00
And Steve was talking about Share.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I mean, Lorne was talking about Cher and Steve piped in, he goes, Cher who?
3
SPEAKER_01
Steve for having those big jokes, like in his old albums, which I used to memorize and those crazy things.
3
SPEAKER_01
He would also say the driest shit like that too, so funny.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, I mean, that was Lorne.
3
SPEAKER_00
Everybody does impressions of Lorne too, you know, every cast member would too, through the generations.
3
SPEAKER_00
But the other thing about us being on, when we were, it was a small cast and then it started getting bigger and bigger.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like our introductions only lasted maybe
3
SPEAKER_00
two minutes.
3
SPEAKER_00
And now if you watch it, there s like 50 people on the show, even like one sketch featuring so-and-so and somebody who might be on, he s standing by, we ll see so-and-so.
3
SPEAKER_00
And a contest winner.
3
SPEAKER_02
I think
3
SPEAKER_02
Kevin and I were on the last small cast show and then it grew with Mike Myers and then David and Adam and everybody else.
3
SPEAKER_02
But initially, I think it was just like six of us.
3
SPEAKER_02
It was kind of like three or four.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, what happened was we kind of ran out of tricks and Lorne kind of saw the writing on the wall.
3
SPEAKER_00
He goes, we got to get some more energy in here, some more people with some ideas.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was like COVID that was expanding and we were like the Delta coming in.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was just getting bigger and bigger.
3
SPEAKER_02
I came in hard and fast with the lady, but I had the benefit of having Phil and Jan.
3
SPEAKER_02
The lady.
3
SPEAKER_02
The lady and Phil and Jan were on it and the host would be on it, Sean Penn beat me up and stuff.
3
SPEAKER_02
But the only time it was very conscious with Kevin and I doing a tour with Dennis was our eventual Hans and Franz characters.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was great, you did the swatch tour.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s right, it was a swatch tour.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was so jealous, I heard you guys were making six grand a night, I was shitting.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was like, no fucking way.
3
SPEAKER_02
It was five grand a night.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God, okay, I feel better.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I went and saw it in Arizona and it was like so huge for comedians, they were like, three great comedians are coming to town, it was unreal.
3
SPEAKER_01
And you don t have to do that long, I probably do a half each or something.
3
SPEAKER_00
I remember we were in Denver.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was our last, I think, stop on the tour.
3
SPEAKER_00
And John Travolta came with some mutual friends of mine.
3
SPEAKER_00
And he offered us all a ride back to L.A.
3
SPEAKER_00
He was piloting a jet, his jet.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I jumped on it.
3
SPEAKER_00
I said, yeah, I ll go.
3
SPEAKER_00
But you and Dennis, Dana, were fearful flyers.
3
SPEAKER_00
So you said no.
3
SPEAKER_02
I was a huge Welcome Back, Cotter fan, but I couldn t imagine that guy steering.
3
SPEAKER_02
But I ve been tapped out a few times in my life.
3
SPEAKER_02
Impressionists get tapped out.
3
SPEAKER_02
So I was doing Tavolta that night, a really silly, stupid pit, whatever, you know, all these guys like this and that, and the crowd starts really starting to roar.
3
SPEAKER_02
Obviously, he s sneaking up behind me, and I m really, you know, because, you know, I can t.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God.
3
SPEAKER_02
He taps me on the shoulder, and then he says, you know, I think it s the sincerest form of flattery.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh, how great.
3
SPEAKER_02
But I tell people, because they always ask, who was the best this, this, this, this, and this?
3
SPEAKER_02
I would say Travolta was the most accessible, real,
3
SPEAKER_02
a superstar i ve ever met like instantly liking him and he was just very affable didn t you find kevin i mean it s just no sense he was a superstar at all nothing no he just he just loves being in the business and acting and when he was hosting that week um
3
SPEAKER_00
He really befriended Jan and gave her a nice long leather brown jacket for her birthday.
3
SPEAKER_00
And one night we all went over to Jan s apartment.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was me and Johnny and our mutual friends, Linda and Anson.
3
SPEAKER_00
And we get to Jan s apartment and we were each doing our impression of his character from Grease.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like that one scene where he leans against the wall, you know, he leans against the wall and turns around with a cigarette in his mouth.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Hilarious.
3
SPEAKER_00
We were all doing that impression and then John went last and he nailed it.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, he won the competition.
3
SPEAKER_01
How fucking cool.
3
SPEAKER_01
He was the best at doing it.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s amazing.
3
SPEAKER_00
He must have been practicing, but that s what he s like, you know, he ll do that stuff.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was only on the show a little bit when I met him and
3
SPEAKER_01
About three years later, I was at Sushi 101 on Beverly, and I was eating, and he came in with a hat, and he s ordering to-go stuff.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, this motherfucker look like John.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then he turns around and looks, and then he keeps ordering, gets his bag, and turns around and goes, hey, it s John, what s up?
3
SPEAKER_01
Remember me?
3
SPEAKER_01
I was on SNL with you.
3
SPEAKER_01
I go, I remember you, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
I saw Grease 45 times.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then started a fever.
3
SPEAKER_01
And right around the same time, bam, bam.
3
SPEAKER_01
Urban Cowboy.
3
SPEAKER_00
Monster, monster.
3
SPEAKER_00
Urban Cowboy.
3
SPEAKER_00
That same week he was hosting, we all went to the Palms restaurant on the Lower East Side and we re walking.
3
SPEAKER_01
Jeez, give him some breathing room.
3
SPEAKER_01
Go ahead.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re stalking him.
3
SPEAKER_00
That was his idea.
3
SPEAKER_00
Smother.
3
SPEAKER_00
We are walking up 3rd Avenue and this is like in 1994 or 95, way after Welcome Back Cotter.
3
SPEAKER_00
There s this homeless guy sitting on the sidewalk and he s looking down.
3
SPEAKER_00
As we re approaching, he goes,   Hey, you guys got any spare?  
3
SPEAKER_00
He looks up and he sees 12, he goes,   Hey, any Papparito?  
3
SPEAKER_00
That was the last time that guy probably watched TV.
3
SPEAKER_01
Dude, how funny was that fucking Tarantino s Welcome Back, Cotter?
3
SPEAKER_01
How funny was that sketch?
3
SPEAKER_01
That was a great one.
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, Kevin, you remember that John Travolta came to Saturday Night Live just to be a fly on the wall, to hang out and learn the show.
3
SPEAKER_02
And that s when I met him.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then he hosted later, but I think I d left by then.
3
SPEAKER_02
So I missed that part, but yeah, he just was hanging out.
3
SPEAKER_01
I miss the one where, oh, the Tarantino one?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Where it was, oh my God, I got to be Horseshack, Mr. Carter.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know who I missed by a couple of seconds was when George Harrison came and stopped by the writers.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, no.
3
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
He came.
3
SPEAKER_01
Is that when he played the piano?
3
SPEAKER_00
He was playing the piano was next to Al Franken s office.
3
SPEAKER_00
And Al Franken didn t know it was George Harrison.
3
SPEAKER_00
And he was yelling from his office.
3
SPEAKER_00
Keep it quiet.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m trying to write.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s all.
3
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m just trying to write a song, you know, for Paul.
3
SPEAKER_01
Shut up!
3
SPEAKER_01
Then he flipped the, and the writers remember he flipped the table, he s mad and he smashed his toe.
3
SPEAKER_01
He might have been gone.
3
SPEAKER_02
He was a red, Al is like stocky, you know?
3
SPEAKER_02
And he was a wrestler.
3
SPEAKER_02
Not George Harrison.
3
SPEAKER_02
One night, him and Farley, sorry, I was spaced out, him and Farley went at it like hardcore fighting each other.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, to wrestle, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
But for playful fun, but it was intense, those two guys.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, Farley s super competitive.
3
SPEAKER_00
Franken was always,
3
SPEAKER_00
kind of exploring, he wanted to be a part of your history.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like I was a football player, so he wanted to play football.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know, we would play basketball.
3
SPEAKER_00
He wanted to wrestle with Farley.
3
SPEAKER_00
That was the thing about Farley too.
3
SPEAKER_00
Farley was really, even as heavy as he was, he was so light on his feet and he was a good basketball player and really coordinated.
3
SPEAKER_00
You saw him skating in the rink, you know?
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, that s what made him so funny.
3
SPEAKER_01
He was shockingly light on his feet, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
That Nancy Kerrigan sketch, I don t know if you guys remember that one,
3
SPEAKER_01
The whole show wasn t that great, but he was a nice skating one.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it was very good.
3
SPEAKER_01
Wisconsin skating.
3
SPEAKER_02
Look at him on the down by the river thing.
3
SPEAKER_02
Just, anyway.
3
SPEAKER_00
Who was your biggest idol on that show that you got to meet?
3
SPEAKER_02
I ll tell you who it was.
3
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was Neil Young.
3
SPEAKER_02
I had to be Neil Young but Paul McCartney I met before the show so it doesn t really count in real life but meeting Neil Young was quite a thrill and one night I don t know if you were there Kevin we went out to dinner like with six or eight people with Neil
3
SPEAKER_02
And I was with Phil, and I said, Phil, let s make Neil Young helpless with laughter.
3
SPEAKER_02
Let s see if we can really get him.
3
SPEAKER_02
So we re doing every shtick we can, every accent, just going crazy just to get him helpless.
3
SPEAKER_02
And we did, just to pay him back.
3
SPEAKER_02
Fun story, right, kids?
3
SPEAKER_00
That is good.
3
SPEAKER_00
That is good.
3
SPEAKER_00
I like that.
3
SPEAKER_00
I like that.
3
SPEAKER_02
People, when you re on Saturday Night Live, you just meet famous people doing sketch comedy, so they re especially vulnerable and they re looking to you for advice after the first couple seasons.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s interesting, isn t it?
4
SPEAKER_02
Do you ever help people out?
4
SPEAKER_00
I find that anybody who s ever hosted, no matter how long ago it was, they re still your best buddy because they latch on to you because they re so scared on that show.
4
SPEAKER_00
They latch on to you and they re friends forever.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you skip a few levels of casual friendship and you get in there because you re in the trenches so fast and you re explaining cue cards or you re saying this or you re telling them when to get, if you start crying on Friday night, that s normal, don t freak out.
4
SPEAKER_01
Because it s so overwhelming to go, we haven t even rehearsed half this shit and it s tomorrow and I don t even know what s going on and they start, my clothes are made of Velcro.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Remember Robert Mitchum?
4
SPEAKER_02
Robert Mitchum.
4
SPEAKER_02
Robert Mitchum came in, the famous movie star, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
And he had a gigantic thing of Jack Daniels in his room, but he was incredible on the show.
4
SPEAKER_02
You meet so many eclectic people.
4
SPEAKER_00
I remember he stopped one of the sketches right in the middle during the table read,
4
SPEAKER_00
And he was explaining what hoodlums, where that word came from.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it broke the whole pacing of the sketch.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Neil, were you a bartender?
4
SPEAKER_01
Were you a bartender in the improv?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I worked as a bartender for two years at the improv.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was 25, 26.
4
SPEAKER_00
At the Improv on Melrose?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then Eddie, who s the bartender now, took over for me, and that was like 30 years ago.
4
SPEAKER_00
He s still bartending, and people love him.
4
SPEAKER_01
I told Eddie, I said, you re like a friend to me, so you know what?
4
SPEAKER_01
I m just going to order all my drinks, and then I ll tip you at the end.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I meant the end when he quits.
4
SPEAKER_02
When he dies.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so I said at the very end.
4
SPEAKER_02
He can t quit now.
4
SPEAKER_01
I saw online, Neil was a bartender, and they said, here s a trivia question, what was Kevin s
4
SPEAKER_01
joke about bartending, and so I tried to guess.
4
SPEAKER_01
And they wrote a joke kind of to sound like you, and used the real answer, which is probably a lie, was, I just try to put as much alcohol in as possible.
4
SPEAKER_01
And the other answers were, I just try to get the color right of the drink.
4
SPEAKER_01
And the other one was kind of funny, he said, I just tell him to tip me up front.
4
SPEAKER_01
That sounds like a joke.
4
SPEAKER_01
I guess that one, that sounds like a joke you d say.
4
SPEAKER_01
Which one was it, Kevin?
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, the truth is, I mean, it wasn t even a joke.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s just, I never bartended before, so I didn t know how to make drinks.
4
SPEAKER_00
I had the bartender guy below the bar.
4
SPEAKER_00
If somebody ordered like a seven and seven, I flipped through the pages and find out how to make it.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I had that college mentality where I thought the more alcohol in the drink, the better they ll like it.
4
SPEAKER_00
So, often people would come back with their drink and say, could you put a little more club soda in here?
4
SPEAKER_00
I said, really, this is too strong.
4
SPEAKER_00
I said, okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
All right.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m just trying to help you out.
4
SPEAKER_01
Kevin, I have another thing.
4
SPEAKER_01
Is this your joke?
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, I always know your jokes, but when you say- You remember my jokes from the 80s when you used to go to the club.
4
SPEAKER_00
I remember your jokes.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I swear, I ve seen a million comics.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t know why yours I remember.
4
SPEAKER_01
They re all funny, but when you say you had a lobster, you were cooking a lobster, and you went to cook it, and you said, tell me if I get this right.
4
SPEAKER_01
You go, I went to put it in the pot, but then I looked, it had a little face, I go, you know what?
4
SPEAKER_01
This is an animal, and it does not deserve to die.
4
SPEAKER_01
So you know what I did?
4
SPEAKER_01
I got my car, I took it out to the woods, I let it go.
4
SPEAKER_01
Because you gotta do the right thing sometimes.
4
SPEAKER_01
Is that a joke?
4
SPEAKER_01
That s Kevin.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s a good paraphrase, paraphrase of it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
I always thought it d be funny to have a show where the comic s girlfriend or wife does their act and they don t get it quite right, but they kind of paraphrase it, you know?
4
SPEAKER_01
All my friends go, I could do your act.
4
SPEAKER_01
I go, it s so intricate and complicated.
4
SPEAKER_01
I dare you.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then they do it exactly.
4
SPEAKER_01
I go, oh.
4
SPEAKER_02
Well, the trajectory, the evolution of the wife slash girlfriend is initially she s kind of pretty much in the front row watching your act.
4
SPEAKER_02
Then she s midway back, then she s standing in the back, then she s in the green room during your act.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then she ll meet you after, and finally she s just at home where you dance.
4
SPEAKER_02
And she stays home.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah, going, how was it?
4
SPEAKER_00
Did you guys like going to the after party on Saturday Night Live?
4
SPEAKER_01
God, you re so wired.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was never really in it enough to be wired, but I would get energy from doing the good nights and waving goodnight.
4
SPEAKER_01
So, and then they d hand, do you remember this?
4
SPEAKER_01
Marcy was always scared, because too many people would figure out the party.
4
SPEAKER_01
So you d get a little ticket.
4
SPEAKER_00
Marcy Clyde was Lauren s assistant.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you get a ticket, she d walk by and hand you a ticket, like right before air or something, like that s what you were thinking about, but I was.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then they go, hey, the tickets, party s gonna be here, it s gonna be here, he s me.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so you d have this, and then after the show, you d get a limo, that guy Max would be out there and go, Spade, you wanna go with Farley?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you wanna go with Timmy Meadows?
4
SPEAKER_01
And they d try to double us up, because we weren t the big stars, but you guys would get your own limo, and they d get you to the party, and then,
4
SPEAKER_01
they would get you home.
4
SPEAKER_01
Uh, and then the party was, it was always so late.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think it s a big status thing now, but man, to wait, if you re not on the show to sit there and wait till one to go to the party, which is more like one 30, that s a late night.
4
SPEAKER_00
I would opt not to go to the after party because I was so exhausted from the show.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I wanted to be able to get up in the morning on Sunday and enjoy my one day off.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I always had guests coming in that they wanted to go to the after party.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, they have to.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s not even
4
SPEAKER_00
really a party.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s just everybody s at the same restaurant.
4
SPEAKER_00
You get your own table, you get your own bill, food, you know, the bill.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
You pay for your, all your guests and your friends.
4
SPEAKER_00
And, um, so, and then, you know, everyone s at their own table and there s just a lot of gawkers.
4
SPEAKER_02
and he d walk around and the host would like to say hello to you, but Kevin, I don t know if I m right about this, but the show was so in the doldrums when we got on, cars were not provided to go to the party.
4
SPEAKER_02
So you, me and Dennis would be out, it d be like snowing and we d be trying to get a cab to go to the party.
4
SPEAKER_02
I don t know when cars came in, but we did not have cars, at least in those first few shows.
4
SPEAKER_02
I love it.
4
SPEAKER_02
We only had an eight-show pickup, Dinah Moynihan told us.
4
SPEAKER_02
We had eight shows, so if we don t hit the ground running, we re out here by Christmas.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, we were living out of our cars.
4
SPEAKER_00
And we even shared an office together, you and me.
4
SPEAKER_02
Kevin and I shared an office that was very humble, very small.
4
SPEAKER_02
And we would sit in there for hours trying to riff.
4
SPEAKER_02
Especially when Hans and Franz came, we would go.
4
SPEAKER_02
And really, we got so silly.
4
SPEAKER_02
I mean, you re so tired and stressed out.
4
SPEAKER_02
Sometimes I d put on music on a boombox, and you, me, Victoria, and Dennis would just dance around in there just because of the stress.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and then I remember like Sandler and Farley and you too, Spade.
4
SPEAKER_00
Didn t you guys have an office on the other side by the writer s room next to Chris Rock s?
4
SPEAKER_01
We had Herb Sargent s old update office.
4
SPEAKER_01
So it was like that corner.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
It was like a frat house in there.
4
SPEAKER_00
I d go in there, there d be like Playboy magazines everywhere, pizza boxes on the floor.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then you go into Rock s office and it was like pristine.
4
SPEAKER_00
He had like Malcolm X posters, Martin Luther King, all kinds of African-American culture books on this, you know, and just
4
SPEAKER_00
Spotless.
4
SPEAKER_01
We re just all idiots, because Farley would wipe his butt with the USA Today.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, one time I was going to the wrap party and they said, and they go, hey, and then I see Norm on Monday.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think you guys overlap with Norm.
4
SPEAKER_01
And he goes, I go, Norm, I didn t see you at the party.
4
SPEAKER_01
He goes, no.
4
SPEAKER_01
I go, well, I saw you get in limo.
4
SPEAKER_01
I went to Atlantic City.
4
SPEAKER_01
Why?
4
SPEAKER_01
To gamble, like I m the asshole, to gamble.
4
SPEAKER_01
I go, oh, well, sorry, I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_01
I thought those are for the party.
4
SPEAKER_01
The poor limo driver s going, keep going straight, sir, we re about 30 minutes away from the party.
4
SPEAKER_02
I think it s at Ollie s.
4
SPEAKER_02
Every week he d surprise the limo driver.
4
SPEAKER_02
Atlantic City.
4
SPEAKER_01
I know, and the guy goes, oh, fuck, I get Norm, I m gonna be back tomorrow.
4
SPEAKER_00
Lovitz was telling me a story where, or somebody was telling me about how Lovitz loaned Norm
4
SPEAKER_00
couple hundred dollars, like $200 to gamble.
4
SPEAKER_00
And the next day, Norm didn t pay him back.
4
SPEAKER_00
And they were touring somewhere together.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then the next day he asked him again, he goes, Norm, you got the $200?
4
SPEAKER_00
And he kept asking him.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then after a week, after he asked him, Norm goes, you only lost $200.
4
SPEAKER_00
I lost $5,000.
4
SPEAKER_00
What are you complaining about?
4
SPEAKER_00
It was 8,000.
4
SPEAKER_00
Why are you riding me for?
4
SPEAKER_02
I lost like $8,000.
4
SPEAKER_02
You only lost 200.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Well, I ll be.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but I was there for nine years, so I worked with a lot of different people.
4
SPEAKER_00
I saw Spade came in and then Mike Myers, Farley, Tim Meadows, everybody.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then we got a lot of those wild cards, like Michael McKean and Chris Elliott and Janine Garofalo and Sarah Silverman.
4
SPEAKER_00
Mark McKinney.
4
SPEAKER_00
Mark McKinney, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yes, yes, Ben Stiller, who lived in the Bromley as well during that time.
4
SPEAKER_02
He did?
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Fucking Bromley.
4
SPEAKER_02
And he got let go from the show, and I was doing very well in the show, and I d run into him in the elevator and go, how are you okay?
5
SPEAKER_00
The guys that get fired or don t get hired for the show seem to do extremely well.
5
SPEAKER_00
Jim Carrey, Ben Stiller.
5
SPEAKER_00
Jim Carrey was on the show?
5
SPEAKER_00
No, but he didn t get hired.
5
SPEAKER_00
He auditioned.
5
SPEAKER_00
He auditioned with us.
5
SPEAKER_01
We should have Jim on to talk about how he didn t get it.
5
SPEAKER_00
That audition, yeah, he destroyed.
5
SPEAKER_02
I think most people got fired from that show.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I didn t know Farley and Sandler got fired.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I mean, the year I left, Sandler and, was it Farley, both got fired?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I didn t even know that for fucking 20 years because they re both doing so well.
5
SPEAKER_01
I didn t know that there was any friction.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t think there was.
5
SPEAKER_00
So the idea is that they wanted to come back and were told no.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s so weird.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s so weird.
5
SPEAKER_01
They re both huge stars.
5
SPEAKER_02
And I was kind of forced out of there too.
5
SPEAKER_02
You know, there wasn t much future for me in there.
5
SPEAKER_01
You were bum rushed?
5
SPEAKER_02
Were you bum rushed out?
5
SPEAKER_02
I knew that was my last year that they d have me, but luckily I got a sitcom with DreamWorks, with Spielberg.
5
SPEAKER_02
So I had something to go to after that.
5
SPEAKER_00
It was called, what was it called?
5
SPEAKER_00
Hiller and Diller.
5
SPEAKER_00
It was called Pushed Out the Door, was the board game title.
5
SPEAKER_01
Kevin, you ve done a lot of Sandler movies.
5
SPEAKER_01
Which one do people know you from the most, do you think?
5
SPEAKER_02
Mostly Happy Gilmore and Grandma s Boy, even though he wasn t in that one.
5
SPEAKER_01
What was the one where you had, was it just go with it?
5
SPEAKER_01
You had plastic surgery, it looked hilarious.
5
SPEAKER_01
That was pretty fun.
5
SPEAKER_01
Was that a lot of makeup?
5
SPEAKER_02
It was, it was four hours in the makeup chair and they only use one day.
5
SPEAKER_02
I did like three or four days of sitting in that chair, but they only use one day of my shooting.
5
SPEAKER_02
But the most fun I had was doing blended where we shot in the South Africa.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah, I saw that.
5
SPEAKER_02
For two months, we went on safaris and everything, it was cool.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I ve done like 13 Sandler films.
5
SPEAKER_00
Seriously?
5
SPEAKER_00
13, so you ve done 10% of his films.
5
SPEAKER_00
Every time I m in a Sandler movie, it s a terrible, terrible bomb.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was in Little Nicky.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then I was in Jack and Jill.
5
SPEAKER_00
Those are the only, so I should never be in another Sandler film.
5
SPEAKER_00
Both very funny, Adam doing his thing, but- I m from the South, the deep South.
5
SPEAKER_01
Kevin, I have a question for you.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, first of all, back to, I got two, but Bathroom Attendant, I was there for, I thought that was one of the, that sketch was fucking killed if I remember correctly.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that was with Harvey Keitel.
5
SPEAKER_02
That s one of my favorite sketches I wrote on that show.
5
SPEAKER_02
And, you know, there s a thing I have about bathroom attendants.
5
SPEAKER_02
It just seems so unnecessary, you know, to have a bathroom attendant to dry your hands and to, you know, give you, and then have candy on the counter.
5
SPEAKER_02
Because, you know, once you go to the bathroom, you immediately want to eat, refill your supply, you know.
5
SPEAKER_01
I always give them 10 bucks and go, if anyone asks, I wash my hands.
5
SPEAKER_02
So I, you know, I ve always kind of had that little,
5
SPEAKER_02
thing about bathroom attendants.
5
SPEAKER_02
So I finally wrote up this sketch about a bathroom attendant in a very small bathroom with just one toilet.
5
SPEAKER_01
That was the tiniest set too.
5
SPEAKER_01
I remember that.
5
SPEAKER_01
That was funny.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And Kytel was great.
5
SPEAKER_01
That was good.
5
SPEAKER_01
It was perfect.
5
SPEAKER_02
He was funny, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And he was into it.
5
SPEAKER_01
He fucking loved it.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, he did.
5
SPEAKER_02
And then Farley comes in at the end, like he s my regular customer.
5
SPEAKER_02
Oh, what a great way to get out.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
You know who helped me with that was Mike Shoemaker, who was one of the associate producers at the time.
5
SPEAKER_02
Or at the time, I think it was maybe just
5
SPEAKER_02
I don t know, a PA or something, I m not sure, but yeah, he kind of had a lot of good little ideas for it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he still works at Seth.
5
SPEAKER_01
He has a big job over there.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it says you went to Sacred Heart.
5
SPEAKER_01
These are my two last things.
5
SPEAKER_01
You went to Sacred Heart, and I don t really care about that, but Sacred Heart as comedians, because we re all in the comedy biz, that was one where I was doing gigs on weekends at SNL,
5
SPEAKER_01
I went from getting three grand a night, I think I maybe got up to five a night, but they go, take a car.
5
SPEAKER_01
I think that s drivable, right, Kevin?
5
SPEAKER_01
Is it drivable?
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it s like an hour and 15 from New York.
5
SPEAKER_01
So they go, do 45 to an hour, right?
5
SPEAKER_01
Which was kind of a tough swing because I was not really even a headliner when I got hired.
5
SPEAKER_01
Pretty solid middle, but you know, sometimes they make a middle to 35, I go, get fucked.
5
SPEAKER_01
I would do 25, maybe.
5
SPEAKER_01
But anyway, so I go to Headline, I ve got about 50, 55, and I m like, shit, this is gonna be tough, but I gots to do it, because I m getting the denaro.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I go all the way there.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so I go to Sacred Heart, I remember this name, and they re all sitting on like a fireplace or something, and I, you know, schools are great, they have extra money, they hire you to come in.
5
SPEAKER_01
but I haven t really caught fire or anything.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m just like a comedian.
5
SPEAKER_01
They don t really know me.
5
SPEAKER_01
So I m just like, I go and they re all like sitting cross-legged on the floor.
5
SPEAKER_01
I remember, I think I remember this right.
5
SPEAKER_01
Maybe 200 kids.
5
SPEAKER_01
So I m doing, you guys all been here.
5
SPEAKER_01
So I m doing my fucking act.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s bombing ferociously and I m buzzing through it.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know what I mean?
5
SPEAKER_01
Because I m not doing well and I know they don t want me there, but I m like, blah, blah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And this is my big lesson in comedy.
5
SPEAKER_01
So I do it and I buzz through everything.
5
SPEAKER_01
But I did 43 and all I had to do was go like, hey, where s this guy from?
5
SPEAKER_01
Not even a closer, just some conversation and then get off.
5
SPEAKER_01
But I leave and the guy goes up, up, up, up.
5
SPEAKER_01
He wouldn t pay me.
5
SPEAKER_01
He goes, you did 43, you re supposed to do 45.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I go, and he had me.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s a contract thing because you can t say you bombed because that s objective, but you can say you didn t fulfill your contract.
5
SPEAKER_01
So I left without a check.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then Gervitz called him and yelled at him.
5
SPEAKER_01
finally paid me.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s the thing, man.
5
SPEAKER_02
When you go somewhere, if you re traveling far, you want to come home with a check.
5
SPEAKER_02
One time I worked with Bill Maher and Tommy Davidson up in Rochester or Buffalo, New York.
5
SPEAKER_02
We had to fly from New York on a little prop plane.
5
SPEAKER_02
I got there and I got really sick before the show.
5
SPEAKER_02
I had some kind of a stomach bug.
5
SPEAKER_02
And I only felt good if I laid on a cot backstage.
5
SPEAKER_02
And Bill Maher did his set.
5
SPEAKER_02
Tommy Davidson did his set.
5
SPEAKER_02
And I didn t want to go home without getting paid.
5
SPEAKER_02
So I asked the stage manager if he would put the cot out on the stage and I could lay on the cot and do my act from the cot on my side.
5
SPEAKER_02
And that s what I did.
5
SPEAKER_02
I did it.
5
SPEAKER_02
And I told the people I was depressed.
5
SPEAKER_02
I said, I m just so depressed.
5
SPEAKER_02
I got to lay down.
5
SPEAKER_02
They were dying.
5
SPEAKER_02
They were loving it.
5
SPEAKER_02
And occasionally I try to get up and do my act.
5
SPEAKER_02
And I felt bad again, like I was going to throw up.
5
SPEAKER_02
So I said, I m depressed again.
5
SPEAKER_02
I got to lay down.
5
SPEAKER_02
Well, that I started taking that cot with me to gigs.
5
SPEAKER_02
That was your new look.
5
SPEAKER_02
It never worked as well as that when I was real.
5
SPEAKER_00
I once had one where I was chewing gum for some silly reason.
5
SPEAKER_00
Never chew gum before you do stand up.
5
SPEAKER_00
And now please welcome Pact House.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then I bit my tongue and it was bleeding the whole set.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was just swallowing blood and trying to smile.
5
SPEAKER_00
My teeth were kind of smeared with blood.
5
SPEAKER_00
Sickening.
5
SPEAKER_01
Kippa Dada pooped his pants.
5
SPEAKER_01
You ever hear that one?
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
That was famous.
5
SPEAKER_00
A lot of comedians shit their pants.
5
SPEAKER_00
Poor Kippa Dada.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s all we remember his whole act.
5
SPEAKER_00
Did you ever have a thing where you hadn t done stand-up in a while, but you re on Saturday Night Live, and then they re paying you a lot of money, and you do what you think is your whole hour, but it s like 32 minutes?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, of course.
5
SPEAKER_00
Because you re just so out of shape, you go so fast, and you re just like, oh my God, that s why I always had the guitar, so I could just goof around on that.
5
SPEAKER_01
And you forget chunks.
5
SPEAKER_01
I remember doing my act after having done it for a while, and I m like, that used to kill, and someone goes, you didn t even do the middle of it, and I go, huh?
5
SPEAKER_00
Because you forget.
5
SPEAKER_01
You re like, how does this track?
5
SPEAKER_01
And that s why it s almost like a play where you have to, every line is important if it s well written.
5
SPEAKER_01
Every line makes sense and it s economized to where you have to do it a certain way.
5
SPEAKER_01
You can kind of riff off that, but you have to get the basics down.
5
SPEAKER_01
And if you don t lay the groundwork, one joke was so stupid, I think I was saying, there was no traffic today, but everything was based on there was traffic.
5
SPEAKER_01
And so I just said one word wrong and then nothing worked.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then later someone goes, you said the opposite.
5
SPEAKER_01
I go, I did?
5
SPEAKER_01
And then it makes sense, you go, oh, you can t figure it out.
5
SPEAKER_00
Who s critiquing you always afterward?
5
SPEAKER_01
There s always someone there, the court stenographer going, well, tonight, I know you thought you did well.
5
SPEAKER_02
A lot of it has to do with nerves too.
5
SPEAKER_02
Like when you re starting out, you kind of do that, you forget stuff.
5
SPEAKER_02
That s why I love doing the warmups on SNL because it took some of the stress away from me and anxiety because I was already like, I met the audience and they ve seen me.
5
SPEAKER_02
So, I m not coming out kind of like, you know, all brand new and, you know.
5
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I had to do that sometimes.
5
SPEAKER_01
I think, I don t know if I was assigned it from you, but after you, but
5
SPEAKER_01
It was hard because Marcy s like, get out there.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m like, oh fuck, I m getting ready for a sketch.
5
SPEAKER_01
So I got to go up and do like five or 10 minutes.
5
SPEAKER_01
Because we were new, so she would always like rough us up.
5
SPEAKER_01
Get out there.
5
SPEAKER_01
Lauren s mad at you.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then walk away.
5
SPEAKER_01
I go, what?
5
SPEAKER_01
Lauren s always mad.
5
SPEAKER_01
I know.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s the easiest thing.
5
SPEAKER_01
What about when Lauren would walk on the set with Anne?
6
SPEAKER_01
I m still light in a glass.
6
SPEAKER_01
And he d just walk around in between, like during a commercial, and you re like, get out of here, like, cause it s too nerve wracking already.
6
SPEAKER_01
I know.
6
SPEAKER_02
And he d say stuff.
6
SPEAKER_02
Maybe kill.
6
SPEAKER_02
We were doing something with Danny DeVito, I can t remember, I think Kevin was in it, and Lauren, during the commercial, he goes, this has to breathe.
6
SPEAKER_02
You know, it was just kind of those sort of notes.
6
SPEAKER_02
Whatever that means.
6
SPEAKER_02
And he always would say, this is just Lauren s sense of humor.
6
SPEAKER_02
You d walk down the hallway and he d say, still with the show, was another one.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that s right, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
But I thought it was funny.
6
SPEAKER_01
I would try to huddle up with him by the monitor.
6
SPEAKER_01
Hey, Lorne, what s up?
6
SPEAKER_01
Sometimes they go, Lorne wants to talk to you right after Gap Girls, and I d be summoned to the monitor, you know, during the commercial, and it s really loud.
6
SPEAKER_01
They re playing the band.
6
SPEAKER_01
He s like,
6
SPEAKER_01
I think the ending, you could do this.
6
SPEAKER_01
You know, he s like, that s how it works.
6
SPEAKER_01
They give notes and they do it right there while it s fresh in his brain.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then you have to go wait to see if it even gets picked for air.
6
SPEAKER_01
That was dress rehearsal, I should clarify.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then you ve got your notes going.
6
SPEAKER_01
I know what to do if it stays in the show.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
You tighten it and you go, hey, I made it shorter, like selling it.
6
SPEAKER_01
It won t take up much room, so you can still put it on.
6
SPEAKER_01
Do you guys ever visit?
6
SPEAKER_01
Do you ever go up there and visit?
6
SPEAKER_02
I ve just been there.
6
SPEAKER_02
If I did Fallon, then usually I d see Lorne and then maybe do something on the show.
6
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, you just, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
I used to go up there.
6
SPEAKER_00
I used to go up there to visit and say hi to Lorne if I was playing in Carolina or something.
6
SPEAKER_00
And, but you know, the last few times I went.
6
SPEAKER_00
it was really difficult because Lauren was so busy, because there was other people that were visiting him, like Paul Rudd and Tom Hanks, and they re all around the monitor.
6
SPEAKER_00
And it s like, you don t even exist.
6
SPEAKER_02
A lot of people go around that monitor.
6
SPEAKER_02
I went in and did a church lady on update.
6
SPEAKER_02
This was pre-pandemic.
6
SPEAKER_02
And then I walked around the monitor and I saw two people going, wow, that was awesome, clapping.
6
SPEAKER_02
And I just kept walking and they go, that was Jay-Z and Beyonce.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
6
SPEAKER_00
Well, Will Forte summed it up.
6
SPEAKER_00
He goes, you never feel less needed when you go back to SNL now.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s like you re almost invisible.
6
SPEAKER_02
You re of no use anymore.
6
SPEAKER_02
I remember when I finished my high school track career and the coach was so indifferent toward me.
6
SPEAKER_02
I did my last race and I kind of wanted to talk about the experience.
6
SPEAKER_02
I go, see you later.
6
SPEAKER_02
You re just sort of done.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you ve been squeezed dry.
6
SPEAKER_02
I ve had other cast members email me who ve left, like Fred Armisen, basically saying, well, how do I deal with this?
6
SPEAKER_02
The emotional hangover of it, and then watching and seeing people doing your job, and in some cases doing it a lot better.
6
SPEAKER_00
Without a beat, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
You never totally get over doing that show.
6
SPEAKER_02
Nobody does.
6
SPEAKER_02
On some level, you ll either have a dream about it or think about it.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s too intense, don t you guys think?
6
SPEAKER_02
I mean, it s always somewhere.
6
SPEAKER_00
When I left that show, I couldn t imagine something superseding that as far as being notable.
6
SPEAKER_00
You know, I always wondered, I thought, I wonder if I ll ever do anything that s kind of as notable as that show was.
6
SPEAKER_01
And live and weird.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
I mean, doing a movie and then it waits a year to come out.
6
SPEAKER_01
It takes six months to get it together.
6
SPEAKER_01
Then you shoot it and everyone s like, where have you been?
6
SPEAKER_00
For me, weeds came along and that was something that people really liked and it was a different kind of a feeling than SNL, but it was still, it was fulfilling for me.
6
SPEAKER_01
And it was a very acclaimed show.
6
SPEAKER_01
This Uber driver goes, hey, it s like about a year or two ago.
6
SPEAKER_01
This is how bad showbiz is.
6
SPEAKER_01
He goes, hey, what about that guy, Chris Pratt?
6
SPEAKER_01
You never see him anymore.
6
SPEAKER_01
What happened to him?
6
SPEAKER_01
I go, Chris Pratt?
6
SPEAKER_01
I think he was in Jurassic World and that other one with the fucking raccoon.
6
SPEAKER_01
Those are two of the biggest.
6
SPEAKER_01
Movies in history is like, yeah, but what else?
6
SPEAKER_01
You haven t been doing anything lately.
6
SPEAKER_01
I go, it was this year.
6
SPEAKER_01
I go, what the fuck have I done?
6
SPEAKER_01
Jesus is like, yeah, we haven t done shit.
6
SPEAKER_01
But people, if they didn t see your movie you did once, you know, you did one movie, like I did Wrong Missy.
6
SPEAKER_01
Then if they miss that, then it s such a chunk of movies they haven t seen, like it s such a gap, because it takes a year to get it together.
6
SPEAKER_01
Then you shoot it, then it waits to come out.
6
SPEAKER_01
Then you try to get another one, so.
6
SPEAKER_01
Everyone s always like, well, you got any movies coming out?
6
SPEAKER_01
It s like the most question I get asked the most.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then if you tell them, they go, oh yeah, what else?
6
SPEAKER_02
How much do I need to do for you?
6
SPEAKER_02
You can make stuff up.
6
SPEAKER_02
I was doing that with, Mark Pita would open for me, the comedian Mark Pita in Vegas.
6
SPEAKER_02
This was even like eight years ago and we would make up.
6
SPEAKER_02
He had just starred in the sort of the Blackjack Network.
6
SPEAKER_02
He starred in, I ve had,
6
SPEAKER_02
just about enough of you, and he d get a big applause, like he s a star.
6
SPEAKER_02
Nobody knows what anyone s doing, no one sees anything.
6
SPEAKER_01
I just wanna drop things in deadline that I m starting and then never do them, just have people go, hey, I heard you got a lot of shit going on.
6
SPEAKER_00
Spare, you should ask that Uber driver, where have you been driving lately?
6
SPEAKER_00
I haven t seen you driving anywhere.
6
SPEAKER_01
No, I ve been all over Los Angeles.
6
SPEAKER_02
They never get that.
6
SPEAKER_02
I always like when you re jealous, like if your wife sees someone on TV, that guy s really handsome or whatever, it s Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt or something.
6
SPEAKER_02
The kind of thing you would say is like, I don t get it, I don t get it.
6
SPEAKER_02
Or like the great comic, like any great comedian, I don t know, I don t get it, I don t really get it.
6
SPEAKER_01
You know what, that stuff works.
6
SPEAKER_01
And you go, and they re like, what do you mean that stuff?
6
SPEAKER_01
No, that kind of comedy, that ll always work.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, comedy s very subjective, you know?
6
SPEAKER_02
I had the stage hand in the wings right before I went out.
6
SPEAKER_02
Hey, Mr. Coffey, last week we had Sinbad.
6
SPEAKER_02
Let me tell you something.
6
SPEAKER_02
That guy killed harder than any fucking comedian.
6
SPEAKER_02
He had the crown in the palm of his hand, and he was doing all these jokes about local establishments and highways, and they went fucking nuts.
6
SPEAKER_01
Don t you love to hear that right before you go out?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I actually followed Sinbad, and I couldn t.
6
SPEAKER_01
He killed so hard.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, I ll just kind of beep-bop up there.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, I was starting to get nervous going, oh, he s really killing.
6
SPEAKER_01
Because it was a corporate gig, and he knew everything about the corporation.
6
SPEAKER_01
He s like, according to section 42.
6
SPEAKER_01
And everyone s like, rah!
6
SPEAKER_00
I go, goddamn!
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but Spade, what has he done lately?
6
SPEAKER_00
I haven t seen him around, you know what I mean?
6
SPEAKER_00
What s he been doing, you know?
6
SPEAKER_00
He s just trying to disappear, you know?
6
SPEAKER_00
He goes, you know when you wear your underpants so much?
6
SPEAKER_02
He s got a sitcom on the Guys and Dolls Network.
6
SPEAKER_02
The Guys and Dolls Network, he s huge.
6
SPEAKER_01
He s a prime time... Actually, Dennis goes, I did Star Search, I m up against Sinbad.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m doing my best fucking joke.
6
SPEAKER_01
Sinbad walks up after me and goes, you ever wear your underpants so many times it s just a rubber band?
6
SPEAKER_01
Four stars!
6
SPEAKER_00
Sometimes I ll watch movies with my son.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s true.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
He s 14.
6
SPEAKER_00
Spade, I wasn t sure if you re talking to me or if you had an ingestion right there.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m just talking to off-camera to people.
6
SPEAKER_00
Go ahead.
6
SPEAKER_00
Well, sometimes I ll watch movies with my son.
6
SPEAKER_00
He s 14.
6
SPEAKER_00
We ll be watching a movie and he ll go, is that guy still alive?
6
SPEAKER_00
That actor, is that actor still alive?
6
SPEAKER_00
I ll go, yeah, that s Sandler.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s Adam Sandler.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then he goes, what about that guy next to him?
6
SPEAKER_00
I said, that s me.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s me.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m still alive.
6
SPEAKER_02
So, Kevin, I asked David this a couple of weeks ago, and I said, when you re watching TV and you re kind of bored, do you ever check the age of the actor and their net worth?
6
SPEAKER_02
And he doesn t.
6
SPEAKER_02
Have you ever checked the age of the actor or the net worth while you re watching a show?
6
SPEAKER_00
I check the age sometimes, but the last person I did that to was
6
SPEAKER_00
What s his name?
6
SPEAKER_00
The guy from Jaws, the older- Robert Shaw?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, Robert Shaw, because I remember as a kid watching that movie, he looked so old.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then I checked his age, he was like 46 or something like that.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s- In that movie?
6
SPEAKER_00
Or 45, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
6
SPEAKER_00
And he died in Ireland.
6
SPEAKER_00
He was driving with his wife and kid and he didn t feel good.
6
SPEAKER_00
He got out of the car and he had a heart attack on the street at 47.
6
SPEAKER_01
Whoa.
6
SPEAKER_01
Should we end on that?
6
SPEAKER_02
So I checked his age when he did Jaws, you know.
6
SPEAKER_02
Pulled on the side of the road and pulled me over and do me CPR.
6
SPEAKER_02
Jaws, what a guy.
6
SPEAKER_02
You be pressing on me cavity.
6
SPEAKER_00
Kevin Nealon.
6
SPEAKER_00
I checked the age of the Disney kids when they re doing the movies.
6
SPEAKER_00
I said, how old is that kid making all that money?
6
SPEAKER_01
You know how old Nemo was?
6
SPEAKER_01
Nemo was just a child actor.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, he was.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then he and then he.
6
SPEAKER_00
But you know what?
6
SPEAKER_00
There s a lot of fish in the sea.
6
SPEAKER_01
Dora Dory was on.
6
SPEAKER_01
I ll forget it.
6
SPEAKER_01
This bit s bombing.
6
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, Kevin, I got to jump off.
6
SPEAKER_00
You and Danny can go on.
6
SPEAKER_00
We ve tortured.
6
SPEAKER_00
We got a million.
6
SPEAKER_00
We got a million things.
6
SPEAKER_01
We ve tortured you enough.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s going to take a long time to unpack this show and figure out what happened.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, we gotta edit this down to the bone.
6
SPEAKER_00
We can edit that shit out of this, man.
6
SPEAKER_00
We got like five minutes, is it a five minute show?
6
SPEAKER_01
Kevin, we re gonna get you a copy of this.
6
SPEAKER_00
Hang on a second, guys.
6
SPEAKER_00
What is it, Marcy?
6
SPEAKER_00
Marcy says I need to do warmups for the show.
6
SPEAKER_02
You gotta get going and do warmups?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Lauren wants you, Lauren s mad at you.
6
SPEAKER_02
We are going to have Marcy Cline as a guest on this show.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, for sure.
6
SPEAKER_02
Because she is the linchpin of a lot of the era of Saturday Night Live.
6
SPEAKER_02
She knows stories.
6
SPEAKER_02
She was the mother, the daughter, she was everything.
6
SPEAKER_02
She was behind the scenes.
7
SPEAKER_01
above the scenes.
7
SPEAKER_01
So yeah, she s got a lot of great stories.
7
SPEAKER_00
All right, Kevin, thanks, buddy.
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh, wait a minute.
7
SPEAKER_00
I got a great story for you guys.
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh, boy.
7
SPEAKER_00
Go ahead.
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh, he hung up.
7
SPEAKER_00
Okay, that was the hook.
7
SPEAKER_01
That s a funny shtick.
7
SPEAKER_00
Hey, what s up, flies?
7
SPEAKER_00
What s up, fleas?
7
SPEAKER_00
What s up, people that listen?
7
SPEAKER_00
We want to hear from you and your dumb questions.
7
SPEAKER_00
Questions, ask us anything.
7
SPEAKER_00
Anything you want.
7
SPEAKER_00
You can email us at flyonthewallatcadence13.com.
7
SPEAKER_00
Hey everybody, Spade here.
7
SPEAKER_00
I apologize for looking badass.
7
SPEAKER_00
I just threw this coat on because it was 95 today and I want to look cool.
7
SPEAKER_00
But listen, I get a lot of questions, Dana and I both do.
7
SPEAKER_00
I ll answer this one.
7
SPEAKER_00
Norm Macdonald obviously
7
SPEAKER_00
big in the folklore of SNL and how great he was and blah, blah, blah.
7
SPEAKER_00
We all know about Norm and a lot of the questions are any Norm MacDonald stories.
7
SPEAKER_00
Obviously we have hundreds.
7
SPEAKER_00
One of the ones I like is when we would text,
7
SPEAKER_00
He s like a child, you know, he doesn t, he s nothing normal about him, so it s infuriating.
7
SPEAKER_00
And he would text in the middle of nowhere.
7
SPEAKER_00
He was a big time canceler of plans, one of the all time greats.
7
SPEAKER_00
And also with the shenanigans you have to put up with.
7
SPEAKER_00
So let s say he texts me, David, what are you doing?
7
SPEAKER_00
And then I answer, I go, hey, Norm, what s going on?
7
SPEAKER_00
And then he waits about two weeks.
7
SPEAKER_00
Then he goes, hello?
7
SPEAKER_00
David, don t you like me anymore?
7
SPEAKER_00
And I go, Norm, I did answer you.
7
SPEAKER_00
What do you need?
7
SPEAKER_00
Do you wanna meet up?
7
SPEAKER_00
Do you wanna go eat?
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And then about four in the morning, David, why do you hate me?
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And then it would go into this one.
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Do you like money?
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And I go, yes.
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David, would you like to win money beyond your wildest dreams?
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No, he didn t say win, he goes, would you want more money than you could ever count?
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And I go, of course I would.
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And then like four days later, David, are you still thinking about the money?
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And I go, I am.
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And he goes, if you really like it,
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I ll tell you how you can get it.
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And I go, please.
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And then about three days later, he says, bet the under on the Chicago Blackhawks in the first period.
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First of all, how much am I betting where I m gonna win money beyond my wildest dreams that I have to bet a trillion?
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I said, I ll put a nickel on it.
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It sounds like gambling talk, I don t even know what it means.
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But he would do that and then he d pee in a bottle.
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But Norm was,
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There s too many Norm stories that are too funny, but he s always like this, he s very stiff.
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You ask him any normal question, he answers it like it s crazy.
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Me and him and Dennis Miller did a gig right before the corona, all of us three crazy people.
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And he goes, David, when s the show?
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I go, eight.
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He goes, what?
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I go, Norm, there isn t a more typical show time in the world than eight.
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If it was 7.45, you could say that.
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If it was 8.01, you could say that.
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You can t say it at eight.
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And then if you go, if you tell him any real news, like, oh my God, Russia just invaded LA, he goes, oh yeah, when?
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That doesn t shock you, they invaded LA?
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They dropped a bomb in LA, today?
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You re supposed to go, what?
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That s when you say, what?
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He s got it all mixed up.
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Anyway, Norm s great.
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We do miss him.
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Thank you for the question.
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Fly on the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13, executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corcoran of Cadence 13, and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment.
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The show s lead producer is Greg Holtzman, with production and engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Basil of Cadence 13.