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Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine, hosted by me, Danielle Robay.
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And me, Simone Boyce.
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Every weekday, we re bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.
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I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side.
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You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice that they want to share.
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Listen to The Bright Side on America s number one podcast network, iHeart.
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Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side.
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people that I admire.
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When we say listen to your body, really tune in to what s going on.
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Authors of books that have changed my life.
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Now you re talking about sympathy, which is different than empathy.
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Never forget, it s okay to cry, as long as you make it a really good one.
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Listen to A Really Good Cry with Radhi Devlukia on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Something that makes me crazy is when people say, well, I had this career before, but it was a waste.
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And that s where the perspective shift comes, that it s not a waste, that everything you ve done has built you to where you are now.
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This is She Pivots, the podcast where we explore the inspiring pivots women have made and dig deeper into the personal reasons behind them.
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Join me, Emily Tish Sussman, every Wednesday on She Pivots.
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Listen to She Pivots on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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The most important thing is how you feel after you do something.
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We overvalue what we feel before something and we undervalue what we feel after something.
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If I don t feel like working out before a workout, I will overvalue that and listen to it.
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But if I feel good after a workout, I will undervalue that and just move on.
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Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose.
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I am so grateful that you re back to listen, learn and grow.
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And it has been an incredible year so far.
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We ve had Dan Buechner, the expert behind the Blue
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zones if you didn t catch the netflix documentary make sure you listen to the episode if you did watch the documentary listen to the episode as well it will blow your mind as to how people in the blue zones live till over a hundred the habits the practices the diets it is really really fantastic information we ve also had the one and only michelle obama on the podcast thank you for
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all the love, all the reviews, all the posts and stories about that episode.
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And I m so glad that you loved my goal-setting method as my weekly workshop.
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Today s weekly workshop is for all of you who already know that it s going to be hard to maintain motivation this year.
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Maybe you ve already slipped up.
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Maybe you ve already tripped up.
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Maybe you haven t, but you ve got close and you know that feeling.
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You ve started to recognize that there is always a challenge, that there s always something, some resistance that you re trying to make sure it doesn t get the better of you.
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How many of you have already been challenged?
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How many of you have been pushed?
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How many of you been under pressure to break your goal, to move away, to lose motivation?
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Now here s the thing, this episode is for you.
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Whether you ve stayed on track so far or whether you ve fallen off, this episode is for you.
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If you want to stay on track, this is going to give you the scientifically proven methods to boost your motivation and stay motivated.
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And if you re someone who s fallen off or scared you re about to,
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This is going to be the episode that s going to get you back up there, back on track.
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This year is all about making sure that we have you on track, on purpose, for as long as you want to be, however you want to be, at the same time as giving you the space to rest, recover and rejuvenate.
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Now, I m going to be giving you a lot of great tips today, so make sure that you take screenshots, make sure that you take notes if you are able to, if you re walking or you re at the gym or you re cooking.
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Thank you so much for choosing On Purpose, if you re driving to.
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So, step number one, to stay motivated, especially when it feels like you re running out.
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Something known as cognitive restructuring.
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This is a technique that s often used in both coaching and therapy, and there are four stages of cognitive restructuring.
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You have Awareness, Reappraisal, Adoption and Evaluation.
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I ll repeat those.
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The four stages of Cognitive Restructuring are Awareness, Reappraisal, Adoption and Evaluation.
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Now let me walk you through when you would use this.
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Imagine you started the year saying, I m going to go to the gym five days a week.
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Or maybe you ve promised yourself that you won t be eating sugary treats in the evening.
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Whatever commitment, whatever goal that you ve made for yourself, whatever resolution that you ve set.
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Now let s say it s been a stressful week.
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Work piled up.
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Maybe you had a slight conflict with your partner.
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Maybe you and your friends aren t seeing eye to eye right now, right?
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There s some stress that s happened.
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Maybe there s some family thing going on right now.
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Right now you re nodding along going, Jay, how do you know?
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Well, it s happening to all of us.
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You re not alone.
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Right?
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So something like that s come in.
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And all of a sudden, you re sitting there and you re thinking to yourself, I don t know if I can be bothered to go to the gym tomorrow.
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You know what, I just feel like I need to have a tub of ice cream right now.
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Whatever it may be for you, you go and grab that tub of ice cream.
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You wake up the next morning.
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You miss going to the gym.
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You press snooze on the alarm clock.
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You miss the time that you were meant to get up.
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You re running late to work.
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What s the thought that goes through your head?
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I messed up.
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I wish I didn t eat ice cream.
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I wish I didn t miss my workout.
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I ve fallen off.
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That s it.
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It s all over.
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i ve already messed it up i failed i m gonna have to wait till next month i m gonna have to wait till next year right we have all these really irrational thoughts and i m sure you ve had some of these before or maybe you re having them right now where you re saying it s only the second week and i ve already fallen off right i ve already found it difficult i ve already broken my promise to myself
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This is where cognitive restructuring comes in.
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So what usually happens to us is that idea perpetuates, that idea persists, and then that idea becomes our reality.
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I messed up, there s no point anymore, I ve fallen off, I ve broken it, and then we start that new pattern, eating ice cream, missing your workout, missing the alarm.
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For example, in cognitive restructuring, we first become aware of that dialogue and how that dialogue has changed.
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We do a reappraisal, we look at it, we evaluate it, we try and understand where it s coming from, and we actually decide and say to ourselves, actually, I m going to choose a different thought process.
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I needed that ice cream that night.
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I needed to miss a workout.
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I needed some time for recovery.
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I m going to be so excited and enthusiastic to get back on tomorrow because I had a well-deserved break.
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You re not telling yourself that you made the right decision.
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Everything s perfect.
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Everything s wonderful.
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What you re saying is you re trying to frame or reframe
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the situation that you went through in a way that makes it a healthier belief.
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Believing that you have messed up and failed is not going to get you back on track.
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But restructuring and reframing it as a recognition of, hey, I was stressed.
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I recognized that because I was stressed, I needed different things.
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But now I m really excited to get back on.
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And I often say this to people, that you have to program your mind
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the night before, right?
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You set your alarm the night before so that it rings the next morning.
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We have to code our brain.
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We have to reframe our cognitive structure the night before so that we wake up with that code.
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It s literally like coding.
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You re coding your mind to say, I will wake up tomorrow morning feeling refreshed, calm, and energized.
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Coding our mind saying I will be excited to work out, to choose healthy foods, whatever it is for you, right?
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So I want you to give that a go and the best way to do this is by journaling.
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Now you can voice journal, audio journal, or write journal, whichever one works for you, but it s so powerful.
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Try it out.
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Now the second
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principle second step that i want to share with you is less of a science one but more of a psychological one follow all the right accounts link to your goal and like all their posts i want you to come up with a list of 10 accounts to do with what you re trying to build are you trying to build a stronger mindset are you trying to build a stronger body are you trying to build
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a stronger emotional connection.
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I want you to find the top 10 social media pages.
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Now, a lot of people will say, don t use social media, get off social media.
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Now, we all know, A, that s really hard.
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B, it can be extremely challenging to live your year like that.
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But here s a way we can actually use social media to our advantage.
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Find those pages on TikTok or Instagram, whatever you use, turning it on its head,
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And I want you to like the most recent posts and I want you to comment on the recent posts.
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Here s what that s going to do.
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That s going to tell the algorithm to show more of those posts to you.
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Now, every time you re on social media, you re going to get more mindset advice.
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You re going to get more health and wellness advice.
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You re going to get more advice on whatever it is that you re trying to build.
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Maybe it s creativity.
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I do this all the time, and I find then that whenever I go onto social media, even if I go onto scroll, or if I m going to see your comments and reply, or whatever it may be,
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I start to see the things I really want to see.
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But it takes the act of saying what are the 10 accounts
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What are the last three posts?
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Let me like and comment on them as well.
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Right?
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So 10 accounts, three posts to like and comment on.
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If you do that simple act, you will start to see the algorithm show you more of that type of content.
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And this is really important because we ve heard that famous saying so many times that you become the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
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And I would argue you become the average of the five accounts you spend the most time on.
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And so our lives have expanded away from individual people to the accounts, the pages that we follow.
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And so I want you to do that consciously because chances are, unless you ve promised yourself to be off social media, which is amazing if you have, but if you re still using social media, this is a great way of actually using it to your advantage.
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Now, number three is something that a lot of you may do, but some of us don t appreciate just how powerful it can actually be.
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When you re trying to do something three times a week, five days a week, maybe you re doing something seven days a week,
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Maybe you ve seen this in the movies.
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Maybe you ve seen your friend do it.
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It is so important to tick off the day.
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Some people cross it off.
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I say tick it off.
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Crosses make you feel like something s bad, right?
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We ve been programmed to believe that a cross is negative, right?
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When you get a cross on a test, it s the wrong answer.
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Put a tick every single day.
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It sounds like a really small, minor thing, but the simple act
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of putting a tick on a day when you ve completed something, it gives you that sense.
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Now, we ve been programmed like this, right?
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When you were young, you d get a gold star.
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We don t have that anymore.
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So if we just say, yeah, I went to the gym today, cool, it doesn t give us that sense of completion.
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Completion is a really important metric to be measured.
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See, we only measure success, right?
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We only measure the result.
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but completion is so, so valuable to recognize.
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And the only person that knows you completed it is you.
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Like someone may see a difference in your appearance, someone may notice a difference in how you re living your life, but you know when you completed something and it s what you completed that leads to the result that you deeply desire.
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So I really want you to keep a calendar and physically tick it off, not on your phone.
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I want you to have the physical calendar where when you ve been to the gym three times a week, that day you finish, you put a tick on that day.
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Put a tick on the next day and keep it in front of you.
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Because every time you see more and more ticks on that day, guess what?
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It will motivate you.
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Even if you missed one and you have two ticks that week, that s still going to motivate you the next time.
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The more you put crosses, the more you don t have this visible.
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you start going, oh, I missed the last two days.
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So it doesn t matter about today.
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Whereas when you look at it and you went, oh my gosh, two days ago, I actually went.
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And guess what?
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I went three days in a row before that.
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That s motivating.
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That s why we do it.
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This isn t about accounting.
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It s not just keeping account.
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It s actually psychologically proven that that feeling of I ve done it, looking at the month and saying, wow, this month I actually went 15 times rather than, oh, this month I think I missed a lot of sessions.
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Notice that difference in cognitive restructuring.
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the most healthiest, wealthiest, and wisest people are looking at the other side.
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This isn t just half glass fall.
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It s actually taking a moment to acknowledge and recognize the number of days you ve completed.
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If you look at all the apps you use, they all use this as gamification.
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It will tell you that you ve worked out three days in a row.
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It will tell you that you have completed this mindfulness practice seven days in a row, whatever it may be, because we know, or the apps know, that psychologically you feel more motivated.
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Please, please, please do this physically.
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Get out a calendar, print it out for the month, buy one of your favorite ones, right?
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And put a tick, a green, a big green tick on each one.
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You deserve it.
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This is about valuing yourself, valuing the commitment you ve made, and valuing the completion and the process as much as you value the result.
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Because otherwise, if we keep waiting for the result to value ourselves, we ll stop the process.
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And that s what happens to 99% of people.
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We re waiting so much for the result that we lose faith in the process.
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We re yearning so badly for the result that we lose faith in the process.
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The Therapy for Black Girls podcast is an NAACP and Webby Award winning podcast dedicated to all things mental health, personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves.
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Here, we have the conversations that help black women decipher how their past inform who they are today.
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and use that information to decide who they want to be moving forward.
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We chat about things like how to establish routines that center self-care, what burnout looks and feels like, and defining what aspects of our lives are making us happy and what parts are holding us back.
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I m your host, Dr. Joy Harden-Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia.
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And I can t wait for you to join the conversation every Wednesday.
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Listen to the Therapy for Black Girls podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Take good care, and we ll see you there.
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Get emotional with me, Radhi Devlukia, in my new podcast, A Really Good Cry.
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We re going to talk about and go through all the things that are sometimes difficult to process alone.
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We re going to go over how to regulate your emotions, diving deep into holistic personal development, and just building your mindset to have a happier, healthier life.
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We re going to be talking with some of my best friends.
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I didn t know we were going to go there Amir!
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people that I admire.
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When we say listen to your body, really tune in to what s going on.
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Authors of books that have changed my life.
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Now you re talking about sympathy, which is different than empathy, right?
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And basically have conversations that can help us get through this crazy thing we call life.
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I already believe in myself.
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I already see myself.
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And so when people give me an opportunity, I m just like, oh, great, you see me too.
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We ll laugh together, we ll cry together and find a way through all of our emotions.
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Never forget, it s OK to cry as long as you make it a really good one.
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Listen to A Really Good Cry with Radhi Devlukia on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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I m Danielle Robay.
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And I m Simone Boyce.
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Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters.
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We ve covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy.
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But the Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new and get into some friendly debates.
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That s right, join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side.
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We ll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you.
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Whether it s relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life s transitions, we ll talk through it all together.
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Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Now, number four, this
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is the biggest one that has made a huge difference in my life.
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Every time you lose motivation, here are the three people you need in your life.
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You need one person to call when you fall off.
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That s the person you complain to, you vent to, you share your struggle with.
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You need one person to call who helps you get back on.
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You need that one person who s going to push you and challenge you.
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The first one person might be caring, the second one s going to challenge you.
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And then the third person you need is the person you do it with.
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Because guess what?
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When we want motivation, we have to make motivation social.
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If your motivation is only based on your own mind,
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it may let you down.
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But when your motivation is based on it being more social, competitive or collaborative, amazing things are possible.
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I have a friend where we defined our three values of our friendship as being fitness, fun and friendship, right?
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We wanted everything we did all year round to be based on fitness and fun.
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So we found being competitive and collaborative
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was a huge way of staying motivated towards our goals.
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So one person to call when you fall off, one person to call to who gets you back on, and then one person to actually do the activity with.
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These are the three most important people in your motivation circle.
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Think about it right now.
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Who s the person that you call when things are not going right?
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Who s the person that you call that you know is going to tell you the truth even if you don t want to hear it?
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That person s really important.
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Often we think the person that s important is just the person who s going to tell us what we want to hear.
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The person who tells you what you need to hear is as important, if not more important, than the person who tells you what you want to hear.
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And then the person
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who doesn t just hear you out, but actually says, yeah, let s do it.
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Let s get on with it.
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Let s build.
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Those are the three key people.
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Remember, if you re losing motivation, make it more social, make it more competitive, or make it more collaborative.
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Competition and collaboration are brilliant ways to get motivated.
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Gamify it.
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Right?
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Set a number.
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If you and your friends are collaborating about how many workouts can we go to together this week, that s where you grab motivation.
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A lot of us try and solve motivation as an individual thing.
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Motivation is so much more of a collective thing, I promise you.
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Tip number five.
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This actually transformed my life.
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Listen to this carefully.
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The most important thing is how you feel after you do something.
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We overvalue what we feel before something and we undervalue what we feel after something.
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I ll give you an example.
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If I don t feel like working out before a workout, I will overvalue that and listen to it.
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But if I feel good after a workout, I will undervalue that and just move on.
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We have to shift that narrative.
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When something goes well, when you complete something, not only do you want that green tick, you want to write about it, you want to talk about it, you want to share it.
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right make a big deal about it be louder about your wins because we ve all experienced this when we lose we cry for a month but when we win we celebrate for a day right how many times have you realized this right let me say that again when we lose we cry for a month right if something goes wrong we ll complain for a month we ll
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you know, criticize for a month, we ll compare for a month, but when something goes right, we go, ah, yeah, I went to the gym three times this week, no big deal, right?
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We keep saying no big deal, but it is a big deal.
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Make a big deal out of it, and I ll tell you why.
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This isn t about ego, this isn t about pride.
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The reason to make a big deal about your wins and completion is you are convincing your brain of this new narrative that I really like this, this is really good for me, it makes me feel good.
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Right?
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And in our modesty or our false humility, we make it out like it s no big deal, which means our brain goes, yeah, no, we re working out, no big deal.
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But guess what?
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Eating that tub of ice cream feels really, really good.
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So reward yourself.
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Find a way to reward yourself.
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And one of the best ways of rewarding yourself is telling someone who cares about you this amazing achievement you made this week.
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A reward isn t a physical thing.
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It s not a food.
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It s actually sharing how you won, what you did, expressing how you broke through it, because that gives you more motivation.
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In fact, a recent study found that immediate rewards you give yourself, especially in the first stages of changing your behavior while it s becoming a habit, can boost intrinsic motivation more than delayed rewards.
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In the study, when people were asked to complete a task, there was a 20% increase in motivation amongst those participants who received an immediate bonus compared to those who received nothing.
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And that is why it s so important that as soon as you finish an activity that you re proud of, something you were struggling to do, call someone up, tell them about it.
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It s not about ego.
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It s not about showing off.
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It s not about pride.
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It s about convincing and reframing your cognitive ability to see it as a positive, to see it as powerful.
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Step number six.
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One of the ways for me, one of the reasons why I lose motivation sometimes is because I feel like I m not achieving anything.
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It s almost like I did the laundry, I did the groceries, I did the dishes, I got lots of stuff done, but I didn t do the one thing I wanted to do.
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I uncovered this a few years ago and it totally, totally transformed my life.
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I call it effective versus efficient days.
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Certain days in my life are efficient.
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It means I ve got lots of stuff done, lots of small things, the groceries, the dishes, my accounting, right, whatever it is, all the stuff, all the efficiency stuff.
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And then there are some days that are effective where I maybe only got one thing done, or an effective week where I only achieve one thing but it s really big for me.
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And sometimes what I find is we end up filling our life with lots of efficient days, but we don t have many effective weeks or months.
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And it s the effective weeks that make us feel motivated, right?
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You have a big breakthrough, you have a creative outburst, you have an expression that brings you to life.
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I want you to plan to have an effective day or an effective week where you re focused on the hardest thing, the most important thing, the thing that you keep putting off, right?
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I have a friend who s always putting off the hard stuff and keeps focusing on the easy stuff, but it s the hard stuff that s going to bring motivation.
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And in order to do this, you have to sign a contract with yourself.
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Signing a contract with yourself
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is a brilliant way to make yourself feel committed, right?
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It s the act of commitment, the act of intention.
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In Sanskrit, it s called sankalpa, S-A-N-K-A-L-P-A, that there has to be a contract, a commitment with oneself, an intention with oneself.
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When we re serious about something, we have a contract, right?
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When we re not serious about something, we don t have a contract.
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Keeping a contract to yourself, a commitment to yourself, is a really powerful step.
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Now this next one s huge.
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because I find that a lot of our wellness habits are connected to this one.
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So if you had working out, changing your food patterns connected to what you want to stay motivated around, I was looking at the top five New Year s resolutions, improving fitness, improving finances, improving mental health, losing weight and improving diet.
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I m going to share with you one that affects all of those.
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There s one habit that affects every single one of those.
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Can you guess what it is?
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Sleep.
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A recent study shows that a reduction in sleep of 33% led to increased hunger and food cravings the next day in study participants.
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The researchers suggested that sleep deprivation activates food-related reward regions in the brain, leading to more hunger.
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Lack of sleep can cause an increase in the production of the hunger hormone and a decrease in the appetite-suppressing hormone leptin.
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So, so much of our fitness and our wellness is based on the quality of our sleep.
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So if you re trying to say, Jay, you know, I m struggling with motivation.
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I don t know how to find it again.
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Where do I start?
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Start with your sleep.
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Getting quality sleep will naturally positively impact every other habit.
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Your workouts, you ll have more energy.
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Your foods, you ll have the right amount of craving.
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Your mental health, of course, will greatly improve through quality sleep.
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Sleep is the one to start with.
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If you ve been struggling for motivation, start with changing your sleep.
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A lot of us are trying to change everything else.
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We re trying to change all the harder stuff, which if sleep doesn t shift as a foundation, it s much harder.
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I m not saying it s not possible.
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It can just be a lot harder.
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And I want to end with this last scientifically proven method to boost your motivation, especially when it s hard, is a lot of us feel like we have to work out for an hour a day.
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We have to meditate for 20 minutes twice a day.
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We have to journal for half an hour a day.
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And all of a sudden, you re looking at a morning routine of three hours.
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Majority of us can t do that, right?
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That s just not realistic.
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It s not possible for most of us.
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So I want to give you a 20 minute routine.
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10, 7, 3.
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10 minute workout, 7 minute meditation, 3 minutes journaling.
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10, 7, 3.
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10 minutes workout, 7 minute meditation, 3 minutes of journaling.
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Studies showed, and I know what you re thinking.
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You re thinking, Jay, a 10-minute workout is gonna do nothing.
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What am I gonna achieve in a 10-minute workout, seven-minute meditation, three-minutes journal?
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Well, listen to this.
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Studies show that exercising for just 10 minutes can boost your physical fitness, energy, and mood.
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In fact, there s a lot of research to suggest short workouts.
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A recent study found that taking an 11-minute daily walk can reduce your risk of disease and early death.
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Another recent study showed that exercise snacks, short bouts of exercise, can be an effective way to boost your fitness level.
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One study showed that a 10 minute burst of activity can boost your brain power.
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And another study found that those who exercised for 10 minutes with 1 minute of high-intensity intervals saw the same improvement in insulin sensitivity and other markers of cardiometabolic health as those who exercised at a moderate pace for 45 minutes straight.
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10 minutes exercise with 1 minute of high-intensity intervals
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is having the same impact at 45 minutes of a moderate pace.
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It s incredible.
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Please do not underestimate the principle 10-7-3.
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10 minute workout, 7 minutes of meditation, 3 minutes of journaling.
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That is a 20 minute morning routine to get your motivation back.
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I m not telling you to not only work out for 10 minutes.
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I m saying that this is what s needed when you re struggling with motivation and you re thinking, I can t get to the gym for an hour.
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I can t meditate for 20 minutes.
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I can t journal for half an hour.
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10, 7, 3.
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This is the episode that s going to boost your motivation, get you back on track.
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All I want you to do is figure out which one of these steps is the one that s going to get you back on there.
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And I know it s early on in the year, but I wanted to give you this insight now so that you can be prepared.
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Because 80% of people are going to drop off by the end of January.
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I told you that last time.
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And I don t want you to be one of those people.
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I want you to be one of the 20% that breaks through and actually exceeds your expectations.
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And together we re gonna do that on On Purpose.
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Thanks for joining me for this weekly workshop.
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I will see you again at the next episode.
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Make sure you subscribe.
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Make sure you download the latest episode.
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It doesn t auto-download anymore.
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Make sure that you follow and leave a review.
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I ll see you very soon.
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Thanks for joining On Purpose.
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Wishing you a happier, healthier and more healed 2024.
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If you love this episode, you ll enjoy my interview with Dr. Julie Smith on unblocking negative emotions and how to embrace difficult feelings.
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You ve just got to be motivated every day.
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And if you re not, then what are you doing?
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And actually humans don t work that way.
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Motivation, you have to treat it like any other emotion.
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Some days it will be there, some days it won t.
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You don t put those inside of you, do you?
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This is a show about women.
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I mean, you do?
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Finally, a show about women that isn t just a thinly veiled aspirational nightmare.
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It s not hosted, not narrated.
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We re just dropping into a woman s world.
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I found out when my dad was gay when I was 10.
3
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We were in a convertible on the 405 freeway, listening to the B-52s.
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Looking back, I should have said, this is gay.
3
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This is already all gay.
3
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Listen to finally a show on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
3
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A new season of Bridgerton is here.
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And with it, a new season of Bridgerton, the official podcast.
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I m your host, Gabby Collins.
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And this season, we are bringing fans even deeper into the ton.
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Watch season three of the Shondaland series on Netflix.
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Then fall in love all over again by listening to Bridgerton, the official podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Subscribe to catch a new episode every Thursday.
3
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Discover a new educational and interactive podcast, Stories for Kids by Lingokids.
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Our episodes are packed with fun activities.
3
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Right, Elliot?
3
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Oh, yes.
3
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We went shape hunting around the block, and we found spheres and cubes on the street.
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That was great fun.
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Join Stories for Kids, the Lingokids podcast, inspiring you to learn while having fun.
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Listen to Stories for Kids on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.