0
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
0
SPEAKER_00
You guys, this is a big day.
0
SPEAKER_00
We re post-op.
0
SPEAKER_00
We re literally post-op.
0
SPEAKER_00
We both had our retrievals this morning.
0
SPEAKER_01
Monica got into a car.
0
SPEAKER_00
Well, I got picked up.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m not supposed to drive and so I didn t, but I got picked up and we re in the attic recovering.
0
SPEAKER_01
You know how many people have told me who work at the clinic or in this field who are like, I m sorry, you had your retrieval on the same morning.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s so weird.
0
SPEAKER_00
I know.
0
SPEAKER_00
We ve been in the exact same state for two weeks and counting.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s really special.
0
SPEAKER_01
I know.
0
SPEAKER_01
She was like, to just do it with a friend is such a great idea.
0
SPEAKER_01
So it s hard.
0
SPEAKER_01
Your cycles have to be synced.
0
SPEAKER_01
Slash, if you tell them you want to do it with your friend.
0
SPEAKER_00
Tell them you re doing a podcast.
0
SPEAKER_01
Tell them you re doing a podcast.
0
SPEAKER_01
Even if it s a lie, they ll give you a little pill.
0
SPEAKER_01
It just kind of syncs you up even more by now.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
How is it?
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh, man.
0
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_00
Well, how do you feel right now?
0
SPEAKER_00
I don t feel pain.
0
SPEAKER_00
Do you do too?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
I don t feel great.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
I mean, we had a needle up in our bodies.
0
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if I said this already.
0
SPEAKER_00
I don t think I did, but a couple of days ago I asked my nurse, how does it actually work?
0
SPEAKER_00
And she said, we were doing the ultrasound.
0
SPEAKER_00
She s like, it s kind of like this.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like we put the dildo up you.
0
SPEAKER_00
It has like a scope attached.
0
SPEAKER_00
So I think they can see.
0
SPEAKER_00
And then that has a tiny needle on it.
0
SPEAKER_00
so that they can drain the follicles and get the eggs.
0
SPEAKER_01
They drain the follicles.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
0
SPEAKER_01
I guess that s why some of the eggs don t make it.
0
SPEAKER_01
Because it s not just you re going in and scooping them up.
0
SPEAKER_01
You have to put them through a needle because I guess it s not like a baby.
0
SPEAKER_01
Your vagina won t open up for the eggs.
0
SPEAKER_01
No.
0
SPEAKER_01
So it s like, I just got a little bit of sad news.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s OK because it s so stupid, but only 13 are mature.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m going to find out tomorrow.
0
SPEAKER_01
I almost wish they hadn t told me because so I got 19 and then they re like, you got 19.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, woohoo.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then literally a few minutes before I came, they were like, just so you know that 13 of them, they don t know if they re mature or not.
0
SPEAKER_01
They have to look through a microscope.
0
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
0
SPEAKER_01
My note is don t give us a number until
0
SPEAKER_00
until they know how many are mature.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that would be helpful.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s like it doesn t mean anything.
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it doesn t not mean anything.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s still good.
0
SPEAKER_00
Your team still performed really, really well.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
0
SPEAKER_00
19 out of 20, right?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
0
SPEAKER_01
A lot of them were pulled out.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s really good.
0
SPEAKER_01
But didn t you have nine?
0
SPEAKER_01
They pulled out all of them.
0
SPEAKER_01
No, no, they didn t.
0
SPEAKER_01
I got six.
0
SPEAKER_01
You have six out of nine.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s really good, too.
0
SPEAKER_01
Only three little ones can make it.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I don t know how many are mature.
0
SPEAKER_00
I ll find out tomorrow.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s a little dicey.
0
SPEAKER_01
And the thing I think I didn t even know is that six sounds great.
0
SPEAKER_01
Do you want six babies?
0
SPEAKER_01
Basically, there s a calculator thing based on your age and how many eggs, what your chance of it leading to one baby or two babies.
0
SPEAKER_00
Did you look this up on Google?
0
SPEAKER_00
No, but she sent it to me.
0
SPEAKER_01
No, I was allowed.
0
SPEAKER_01
I was given permission.
0
SPEAKER_01
I was encouraged.
0
SPEAKER_01
So my probability is 59% for one child and 21 for two.
0
SPEAKER_01
So there s a lot of things in the process like defrosting can cause one of them to have a meltdown.
0
SPEAKER_01
You don t know if they ll take, which means they might not take the sperm.
0
SPEAKER_01
So it s wild how many you need.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s tricky though, because to get pregnant, you don t, you need one.
0
SPEAKER_00
For this phrasing process, it s how many you can have so that you have an option in the bank.
0
SPEAKER_00
It has nothing to do with pregnancy.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s right.
0
SPEAKER_00
But 13 is really good.
0
SPEAKER_00
My doctor, I was like, okay, so how many ideally do we need if and when I do this again?
0
SPEAKER_00
And she was like, the goal is between 15 and 20.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s still a lot.
0
SPEAKER_00
No, I m saying 13 is a lot to get on a first round.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
13 mature, 19 retreat.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s a lot.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I think that s more than most.
0
SPEAKER_01
It just, I didn t realize there would be a different number or that it would be vastly different.
0
SPEAKER_01
And it s not.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m fine.
0
SPEAKER_00
No, you re allowed to feel that.
0
SPEAKER_00
There s so many pieces to this that make it hard.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
How do you feel?
0
SPEAKER_00
I feel like I had expectations of this, so I don t feel that surprised, I guess.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like I don t feel happy, but I don t feel surprised.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
0
SPEAKER_00
I might feel surprised tomorrow if they say two are mature.
0
SPEAKER_00
I won t like that.
0
SPEAKER_00
But also, you know, I m going to do it again and we ll see.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s not uncommon.
0
SPEAKER_00
So many people do it multiple times and also decide, circling back to episode one, they decide, OK, I ve done it and I don t need to do it again.
0
SPEAKER_00
50% is not nothing.
0
SPEAKER_00
I also think it s like how soon you use them.
0
SPEAKER_00
Because the freezing thing, sometimes over time, they die off.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_01
There s a lot of factors.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s not like putting a frozen turkey in the freezer and then you pull it out and it s still there.
0
SPEAKER_01
Everything s the same.
0
SPEAKER_01
They re eggs.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s supposed to live inside your body.
0
SPEAKER_01
So it s a lot to keep them the way that they are.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
And a lot of steps in the process.
0
SPEAKER_01
Definitely.
0
SPEAKER_01
So who picked you up?
0
SPEAKER_01
Kate, our mutual friend, the reason why we re here, and got me Tylenol and Gatorade.
0
SPEAKER_01
Nice.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I had a big cramp afterwards.
0
SPEAKER_01
I was like, oh, I hope this doesn t feel like this all day.
0
SPEAKER_01
But it kind of went away.
0
SPEAKER_01
They give you Tylenol.
0
SPEAKER_01
When the anesthesiologist, I m not going to try and say it.
0
SPEAKER_00
We don t have to say it today.
0
SPEAKER_01
Anesthesiologist.
0
SPEAKER_00
Anesthesiologist.
0
SPEAKER_01
Anesthesiologist.
0
SPEAKER_01
I just feel, and again, I don t want to whine about this.
0
SPEAKER_01
I really don t because it s a privilege.
0
SPEAKER_00
No, but don t do that.
0
SPEAKER_00
Now you re trying to affect your experience.
0
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, I just think that there are little things along the way and big things along the way that I just feel like they really rely on you.
0
SPEAKER_01
I almost feel like it s baked into the process that if you re freezing your eggs, you re this independent woman.
0
SPEAKER_01
This is a small thing, but I went in.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, it didn t feel small.
0
SPEAKER_01
So first you go in and the nurse is asking you questions.
0
SPEAKER_01
Then she ll pass you on to the anesthesiologist and then the doctor will come in and then you all go basically in a room together and it kind of happens.
0
SPEAKER_01
So the nurse was like, oh, you have factor V. It s a blood cloth vulnerability gene mutation.
0
SPEAKER_01
That means I m vulnerable to blood cloth.
0
SPEAKER_01
So she goes like, oh, you re factor V. Don t forget to tell the doctor that.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, okay.
0
SPEAKER_00
You re like, why don t they already know that?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
I was like, I was just a little confused by even, she was like, okay, you re allergic to penicillin and you have factor V. Remember to tell the anesthesiologist.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I was kind of like, okay.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then I immediately was like, wait, isn t that your job?
0
SPEAKER_01
Isn t that literally your job?
0
SPEAKER_01
Isn t that why I talk to you?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
And you re here anyway.
0
SPEAKER_01
I love nurses.
0
SPEAKER_01
I love healthcare providers, but that was annoying.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then the anesthesiologist asked me all these questions and then I say, by the way, I have factor five and by the way, I have an allergy.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then we get into the room where first they give you an IV, I guess with Gatorade in it.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s where also they re going to put in the medicine.
0
SPEAKER_01
And as I m lying down, he s like, you didn t tell me you were on love knocks.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, that s the blood thinner that your people put me on.
0
SPEAKER_01
Isn t that in my chart?
0
SPEAKER_01
Was that on me?
0
SPEAKER_01
I was like, I assumed you knew, you know what I m doing, right?
0
SPEAKER_01
Do you know I m here to freeze my eggs?
0
SPEAKER_01
Do I have to tell you everything?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s frustrating.
0
SPEAKER_01
Again, it s not a big deal, but it could have been, I guess, because maybe it would have changed something in the way that he would have administered something.
0
SPEAKER_01
And so there s that element where I still feel I understand that this probably makes it cheaper that we re doing injections ourselves.
0
SPEAKER_01
Even today, the antibiotic, I have to go to CVS and I have to figure that out.
0
SPEAKER_01
And it s just, you need a person or you just need to be like really self-assured or have money to get it delivered.
0
SPEAKER_01
And you know, all these additional medications too, like I have an additional 200 bucks today.
0
SPEAKER_01
So there s that.
0
SPEAKER_01
But then I had this really emotional
0
SPEAKER_01
feeling that I didn t expect.
0
SPEAKER_01
I wasn t nervous.
0
SPEAKER_01
I was like, be the independent lady.
0
SPEAKER_01
Like I was reading the news being like, this is nothing.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then I lie down, they did the IV and then you know that the anesthesia is coming and it s going to put you to sleep.
0
SPEAKER_01
And so it can be a little unsettling.
0
SPEAKER_01
And as soon as they put it in, I started thinking about her or thinking about the child that was going to come out of this.
0
SPEAKER_01
And it was just this really, I don t know, I was just like, I m obviously overcome by emotion, even talking about it.
0
SPEAKER_01
But I like started to weep.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then I immediately felt like I don t remember falling asleep, obviously, like, yeah, it was this white light, like it was really beautiful.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, my God, I m doing this for you.
0
SPEAKER_01
And how exciting that I get to do this.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that s so beautiful.
1
SPEAKER_02
Beautiful.
1
SPEAKER_02
That s lovely.
1
SPEAKER_02
My friend Alyssa was like, sometimes there are difficult parts to this, you know?
1
SPEAKER_02
And yesterday, I just drove Monica fucking crazy.
1
SPEAKER_02
All my pregnancy tests were negative.
1
SPEAKER_02
You re supposed to have a positive.
1
SPEAKER_02
So then I just thought, oh my God, this whole thing won t be for nothing.
1
SPEAKER_02
I made a mistake somewhere.
1
SPEAKER_02
And she was like, you know, when it s hard, remember who you re doing it for.
1
SPEAKER_02
But for some reason, like I wasn t thinking about it when it happened, but it felt just more meaningful.
1
SPEAKER_02
OK, the needle sock and this fucking anesthesiologist doesn t look at my chart.
1
SPEAKER_02
But at the end of the day, this is so exciting that I get to do this and I get to start that.
1
SPEAKER_02
So, yeah, that s a beautiful takeaway.
1
SPEAKER_02
I think that s hormones.
1
SPEAKER_01
Or maybe it s just hormone pain.
1
SPEAKER_01
I also, like, at some point, you can t blame the hormones.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like, these are your feelings.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
They re real feelings.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yay.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, that s awesome.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m so happy you had that.
1
SPEAKER_01
Thanks.
1
SPEAKER_01
How about you?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I went in and mine was early.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I got there at 6.15 and then they took me into a little room and then the nurse had me fill out a bunch of paperwork and talk to me and then I put my
1
SPEAKER_01
Clothes on, like the hairnet.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yes, there s bonnets and hairnets.
1
SPEAKER_01
The cute little hairnet.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay, we re in the future now.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
Something horrible has happened.
1
SPEAKER_01
Really bad.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, it s on brand.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s so on brand that this happened on this day when our hormones were all over the place.
1
SPEAKER_01
We re seconds from crying at any minute.
1
SPEAKER_01
We couldn t even stand up straight.
1
SPEAKER_01
We couldn t.
1
SPEAKER_01
We were still bent physically and we had gone under.
1
SPEAKER_01
We went through surgery.
1
SPEAKER_01
An hour before.
1
SPEAKER_01
And let s remind everyone that Rob had COVID.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I was in charge this whole time while my brain was on fire of recording.
1
SPEAKER_01
And something happened in the middle of this episode and it stopped working.
1
SPEAKER_01
We lost half of this episode.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s the worst possible thing that could happen.
1
SPEAKER_01
in life to anyone, ever.
1
SPEAKER_00
That includes diseases, natural disasters.
1
SPEAKER_01
Taxes here.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, just really quick.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know what I m bummed about?
1
SPEAKER_01
What?
1
SPEAKER_00
I think at the beginning of this, you were trying to make a sound effect that let us know that we had traveled in time.
1
SPEAKER_00
And here I am.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was positioned the whole time to do it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Try it now.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m not sure.
1
SPEAKER_01
Do you want to try one of the others?
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, absolutely.
1
SPEAKER_00
What I m, I think what I m doing,
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I like that.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think And then it s got to come closer and then away, okay
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that s, that did something to my brain.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s appropriate.
1
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
1
SPEAKER_00
Your follicles, I bet, just tripled, both of you.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_03
Thank God.
1
SPEAKER_03
Better than the hormones.
1
SPEAKER_03
But loss has been a theme throughout this experience as well.
1
SPEAKER_01
So in a way, it s full circle.
1
SPEAKER_01
Great ding ding ding.
1
SPEAKER_03
Even though we had a great loss, here we are.
1
SPEAKER_03
And we re having fun, and we re going to make something even better out of it.
1
SPEAKER_01
So what we ve heard so far is that I had six eggs retrieved.
1
SPEAKER_01
You had just found out moments before that 13 were mature.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was really happy because the moment that was the most important moment of the whole episode that was in there where you told us that you saw like a bright light and you knew who you were doing it for.
1
SPEAKER_01
It was so sweet listening back.
1
SPEAKER_01
But one thing you said after, so this is kind of a fun thing we get to do.
1
SPEAKER_01
As we were walking out, you said, oh, no, no, no, no.
1
SPEAKER_01
This is serious stuff.
1
SPEAKER_00
I know.
1
SPEAKER_00
You were traveling in time again.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you re right.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
Go ahead.
1
SPEAKER_00
Just hit me with that sentence.
1
SPEAKER_01
So in the, after we recorded this episode, we were walking out.
1
SPEAKER_01
So back in August when this was happening, we wrapped this episode and we were walking out.
1
SPEAKER_01
That ll do.
1
SPEAKER_01
That ll do.
1
SPEAKER_01
And do you remember this?
1
SPEAKER_01
No, I don t remember.
1
SPEAKER_01
You actually felt like who you were seeing was you as a kid.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
1
SPEAKER_03
You don t remember that?
1
SPEAKER_01
No.
1
SPEAKER_03
It was profound.
1
SPEAKER_03
Oh, I don t remember saying that.
1
SPEAKER_03
I was really out of it.
1
SPEAKER_00
I may have taken her too deep on that transition.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s pretty much my fault.
1
SPEAKER_03
I m before the retrieval now.
1
SPEAKER_03
We had the retrieval.
1
SPEAKER_01
It happened.
1
SPEAKER_01
You said that the child that you were feeling in that moment was actually you.
1
SPEAKER_01
It was so sweet.
1
SPEAKER_01
You like loved your own inner child in that moment.
1
SPEAKER_03
It makes sense, though, because isn t parenting kind of either you re going to repeat some of the mistakes or you re going to repair and actually help process the mistakes that were made on you and hopefully do something different?
1
SPEAKER_03
Is it an embodiment of healing in a way because you re the parent now?
1
SPEAKER_01
And you have a little more control, I guess, with last acts.
1
SPEAKER_00
I got to acknowledge first that this is definitely egomaniacal.
1
SPEAKER_00
This is a self-centered aspect of it, but it exists nonetheless, which is, I think the reason you may have saw your baby self is that when you have a kid, you think, I m going to give this little baby what I needed.
1
SPEAKER_00
And it s very exciting and it is healing.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s slightly narcissistic.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s because you re a cynic, remember?
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, no, we don t agree with that.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think I m a skeptic.
1
SPEAKER_00
But at any rate, I went into it with that notion.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s a weird do-over.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then while it s happening, while you re watching the little person, it s regularly taking you back.
1
SPEAKER_00
to that age and you re-examine your own life and you end up having a lot of compassion for yourself.
1
SPEAKER_00
I told the story on the other show, which was Lincoln had had a nightmare that Chris and I had gotten divorced and we re going through that.
1
SPEAKER_00
And as I m talking to her, I m looking at her and realizing,
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I m on my third dad at her age.
1
SPEAKER_00
I ve already been molested at her age.
1
SPEAKER_00
And now I see how defenseless this little person is at eight years old.
1
SPEAKER_00
Cause you think of yourself as maybe older than you were in your memory your whole life, or at least I did.
1
SPEAKER_00
I thought I was always in charge, but looking at your own kids and then again, forgiveness.
1
SPEAKER_00
The other thing was, Oh my God, I wasn t the victim.
1
SPEAKER_00
My dad was the victim.
1
SPEAKER_00
This is the experience one shouldn t miss.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know, all those things.
1
SPEAKER_00
Of course it s connected to little Liz, because in a weird way, that s what it s about.
1
SPEAKER_00
And for Mani, if you have a baby, you re gonna set her up for all the things that you hoped.
1
SPEAKER_01
You want her to be a her so bad, because you want it to be her in the picture.
1
SPEAKER_00
If I get to be an uncle to that fucking baby, good luck having any time with her, because I m gonna fucking kidnap that little baby.
1
SPEAKER_01
What if the coyote gets her?
1
SPEAKER_00
I m going to start growing grass that long in our yard just so I can recreate this photo.
1
SPEAKER_00
You ll put her in a school where it s multicultural.
1
SPEAKER_00
She doesn t feel other.
1
SPEAKER_00
You ll do all these little things.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I ll do also all the things I thought were a problem that really weren t a problem that I can also see now.
1
SPEAKER_00
And they ll have a whole new set of problems.
1
SPEAKER_01
My dad has his work, his sim work cut out for him when there s a grandchild.
1
SPEAKER_01
Can you imagine?
1
SPEAKER_00
He needs more tokens.
1
SPEAKER_01
He really does.
1
SPEAKER_00
Stay tuned for more if you dare.
1
SPEAKER_01
Race to 35 is sponsored by Vegamour.
1
SPEAKER_01
When you look at your hair, are you 100% happy, Liz?
1
SPEAKER_03
Not all the time, but since I ve been using Vegamour, I am.
1
SPEAKER_01
I ve tried a lot of different products to improve my hair health, and they re all not great.
1
SPEAKER_03
They either are natural and they don t really work, or there s a lot of chemicals and they work, but then you re like, what am I putting in my hair?
1
SPEAKER_03
And that s what I love about Vegamour.
1
SPEAKER_03
It really has something for everyone looking to improve their hair health.
1
SPEAKER_03
The GRO Revitalizing Shampoo and Conditioner Kit
1
SPEAKER_03
works together to create visibly thicker hair and improve hair from the roots.
1
SPEAKER_03
You just massage the shampoo into your scalp for 60 seconds and then you follow it up with conditioner.
1
SPEAKER_03
It s so simple.
1
SPEAKER_03
It made such a noticeable difference in my hair.
1
SPEAKER_01
Hormones affect everything.
1
SPEAKER_01
They affect your skin, your nails, your hair.
1
SPEAKER_01
I have noticed my hair has thinned.
1
SPEAKER_01
since we started messing with our hormones.
1
SPEAKER_01
And so once I started doing Vegamour, I was like, okay, I can feel it getting a little bit back to normal.
1
SPEAKER_01
So if anyone s doing this process, I really would recommend starting with this shampoo and conditioner.
1
SPEAKER_01
Go to vegamour.com slash fertility and use code fertility to save 20% on your first order.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s V-E-G-A-M-O-U-R.com slash fertility, code fertility to save 20% off at vegamour.com slash fertility.
1
SPEAKER_01
We are supported by ZocDoc.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s hard to find the right doctor.
1
SPEAKER_01
We found great doctors through this process.
1
SPEAKER_01
Obviously, yours got a lot of random texts from us.
1
SPEAKER_03
A lot of texts and answered so many of them.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yes, it s really important to find the right one for you in your network and in your neighborhood.
2
SPEAKER_02
All these pieces can make it feel impossible.
2
SPEAKER_02
But with ZocDoc, it s a free app that shows you doctors who are patient reviewed, take your insurance and are available when you need them.
2
SPEAKER_02
So you go there, find what works best for you.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
And as a Canadian, I can tell you, I get overwhelmed by your healthcare system.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I find that ZocDoc, again, because it s free, it helps you save money, right?
2
SPEAKER_03
It helps you make sure that you re seeing the right doctor that s, you know, covered by your insurance.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
You don t have to go to two because the first one was bad.
2
SPEAKER_03
Or again, pay fees and have these surprise bills in the mail.
2
SPEAKER_03
So on ZocDoc, you can find every specialist under the sun, whether you re trying to straighten those teeth, fix an achy back, get that weird mole checked or anything else ZocDoc has you covered.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, and it s a super easy app, very user-friendly.
2
SPEAKER_02
We love that.
2
SPEAKER_02
You can go to ZocDoc.com slash race and download the ZocDoc app for free.
2
SPEAKER_02
Then start your search for a top rated doctor today.
2
SPEAKER_02
Many are available within 24 hours.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash race.
2
SPEAKER_02
ZocDoc.com slash race.
2
SPEAKER_02
Anyway, that first little chunk, I m sorry it was way shorter than it should have been, but it still encapsulated our experience that day in, I think, a very accurate way.
2
SPEAKER_02
The only thing I want to touch on is a little backstory to the day before our trigger, all of the trigger shot stuff.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
So... Oh, shit.
2
SPEAKER_02
The day that we had to do our trigger shot, mine was at 7.13.
2
SPEAKER_02
They gave us the most specific times.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yours was at 11.34, something like that.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Cause it had to be, I think it was 12 hours before the retrieval.
2
SPEAKER_02
It was very specific timing.
2
SPEAKER_02
You came over, we were hanging out.
2
SPEAKER_02
The trigger shot is a big old needle, but
2
SPEAKER_02
Did it!
2
SPEAKER_02
So excited.
2
SPEAKER_02
It was weird because it was the first one we weren t doing at the same time, but you were there and it was exciting.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then we sat down to chat.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then I was going to drive you home.
2
SPEAKER_02
Where was I taking you?
2
SPEAKER_03
I think you had no more pills left.
2
SPEAKER_02
I was out of seizure pills and we had to go to the pharmacy to get them.
2
SPEAKER_02
This is 7.
2
SPEAKER_02
The pharmacy says it s open till 10.
2
SPEAKER_02
Plenty of time.
2
SPEAKER_02
We get in the car and I was like, I feel horrible.
2
SPEAKER_03
You re like, I feel woozy.
2
SPEAKER_03
I feel like I want to throw up.
2
SPEAKER_03
And you were driving.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
At that point.
2
SPEAKER_02
And Liz doesn t know how to drive.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t.
2
SPEAKER_02
So she couldn t take the wheel.
2
SPEAKER_02
And Jesus wasn t around to take the wheel either, unfortunately.
2
SPEAKER_01
He s never there.
2
SPEAKER_01
We would never meet him.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God.
2
SPEAKER_02
I mean, it is almost Christmas.
2
SPEAKER_02
Happy birthday.
2
SPEAKER_02
Anyway, I could tell you were trying not to freak out but also like be supportive but not know what to do.
2
SPEAKER_02
So I was like, I feel like I should go back inside.
2
SPEAKER_02
So I circled back, we parked.
2
SPEAKER_02
I was so wobbly and nauseous and I felt crazy and I don t
2
SPEAKER_02
get nauseous very much.
2
SPEAKER_02
So it was very weird.
2
SPEAKER_02
We went in and then I like immediately just like laid on the floor.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Not even on the couch.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s like, I need to be a horizontal immediately.
2
SPEAKER_02
And you were so sweet.
2
SPEAKER_02
You were like, I need to get you juice because people think that that s the cure.
2
SPEAKER_01
My first thought was, did you have any orange juice?
2
SPEAKER_01
There you go.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because everything gets funneled into the diabetes.
2
SPEAKER_01
She got low blood sugar.
2
SPEAKER_02
I need to get juice.
2
SPEAKER_02
But also we had this looming, like the medication.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_03
And then my medication was at Dax and Kristen s and I don t know how to drive.
2
SPEAKER_03
And so there was a lot of different transportation that needed to happen and no person who knows how to drive to do it.
2
SPEAKER_03
And you were not well.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I felt even bad about leaving you in that state.
2
SPEAKER_01
This sounds like the scene out of Wolf of Wall Street when they re on a ton of quaaludes.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I know.
2
SPEAKER_02
And they re like laying outside.
2
SPEAKER_01
They think they re doing it one way.
2
SPEAKER_02
Exactly.
2
SPEAKER_02
So Liz Sweetly got in an Uber, went to the horrible, scary Rite Aid.
2
SPEAKER_02
The worst.
2
SPEAKER_02
It was the guy that got punched.
2
SPEAKER_02
No, the woman got punched.
2
SPEAKER_02
A woman got punched at that Rite Aid and someone got shot.
2
SPEAKER_02
And you called me and you were like, is this the right one?
2
SPEAKER_02
And I said, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Did she write, is this the R-I-T-E one?
2
SPEAKER_01
That was a great opportunity for you to make a pun.
2
SPEAKER_01
A lot of mistakes were made.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Our brains are still not all the way back.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
But you said, is this the R-I-T-E one?
2
SPEAKER_02
And I said, yes.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then you were like, it s closed.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I was like, oh my fuck.
2
SPEAKER_02
It was closed at six on Saturdays.
2
SPEAKER_02
And so then there was a new panic.
2
SPEAKER_02
I have all these insane hormones now on blast because of the trigger shot.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I don t have seizure pills to take tonight.
2
SPEAKER_02
Obviously, I m having a seizure tonight.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m setting myself up for the worst failure.
2
SPEAKER_01
You think about wearing a diap to bed?
2
SPEAKER_02
No, I didn t.
2
SPEAKER_02
But I did think like, look, if I have one, I have one.
2
SPEAKER_02
If I die, I die.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s it.
2
SPEAKER_02
But I was like, I can sleep over.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, of course she was.
2
SPEAKER_02
I was like, you can t sleep over because my appointment was at seven.
2
SPEAKER_02
I was like, I have to wake up at five.
2
SPEAKER_02
You then have to go do your own retrieval.
2
SPEAKER_02
Like it was too much.
2
SPEAKER_02
But also, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
So then you ubered to Dax and Kristen s.
2
SPEAKER_02
You picked up your medication.
2
SPEAKER_02
You picked up some juice.
2
SPEAKER_02
Some juice and some random snacks like a banana.
2
SPEAKER_01
She put you on the brat diet.
2
SPEAKER_02
A kid s juicy pack.
2
SPEAKER_02
It was so sweet.
2
SPEAKER_02
By this time I was in bed.
2
SPEAKER_02
I was feeling a little better.
2
SPEAKER_02
Slightly.
2
SPEAKER_03
I came in and there was a garbage can next to her on her night table and she s lying there and I was like, oh god, she s not well.
2
SPEAKER_03
This is really bad.
2
SPEAKER_03
It was not a trash can.
2
SPEAKER_02
It was a really fucking expensive candle.
2
SPEAKER_02
And it s really large and it kind of looks like a trash can, I guess, like the most expensive trash can you ll ever buy.
2
SPEAKER_01
I hope you keep it after it s all burnt out for an emergency.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s true.
2
SPEAKER_02
It doubles up.
2
SPEAKER_02
But it s so heavy, it d be hard.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, you wouldn t knock it over.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s really true.
2
SPEAKER_02
Anyway, that came out months later.
2
SPEAKER_02
She thought that was a trash can the whole time.
2
SPEAKER_02
You were really disturbed by the whole scene.
2
SPEAKER_02
But you were in high spirits.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
But then we had another entire issue with yours.
2
SPEAKER_02
So yours was coming up and we were preparing and yours was different than mine.
2
SPEAKER_02
That was the first time in this whole process that our medications were for some reason different.
2
SPEAKER_02
We couldn t get the lid off of one or something.
2
SPEAKER_02
Off the needle.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, and then I was like, it ll bend.
2
SPEAKER_02
We started to freak out.
2
SPEAKER_03
We re calling all these doctors to try to fix it at 1130pm.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s just like 2.30 on the East Coast.
2
SPEAKER_01
The doctor s like, first things first, drink some orange juice.
2
SPEAKER_01
Both of you, I can tell.
2
SPEAKER_02
You need it.
2
SPEAKER_02
But we made it work.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then I gave you yours.
2
SPEAKER_02
You Ubered home.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then how did you feel?
2
SPEAKER_03
I was more worried about you.
2
SPEAKER_03
I was like, if I m sick, then I can t even help her if she gets sick.
2
SPEAKER_03
And so I was like, yeah, I didn t let myself feel so selfless.
2
SPEAKER_03
See, no, no, it was like stressful.
2
SPEAKER_03
It was stressful.
2
SPEAKER_03
And you guys weren t here.
2
SPEAKER_03
Like, no one was kind of no one was here.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m learning a lot in this.
2
SPEAKER_01
I really am because I now know what you want.
2
SPEAKER_01
Here s what happens.
2
SPEAKER_01
You tell me like, Oh my God, I m on the floor and I feel crazy.
2
SPEAKER_01
Right.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then I would immediately go to, well, there s no solution to that.
2
SPEAKER_01
Right.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s what I would think.
2
SPEAKER_01
Liz is like, let me get a bunch of shit.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s not going to do anything.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, let s grab this, get some peanut butter, here s some flour, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
There s all this juice you didn t want.
2
SPEAKER_01
But you feel so loved when she shows up.
2
SPEAKER_01
I get hung up on the, is there any point to this?
2
SPEAKER_01
I should just grab random shit and show up.
2
SPEAKER_02
You re interested in practicality and it s not always necessary.
2
SPEAKER_02
What s necessary is feeling like someone cares about you in that moment.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m really recognizing that because I m like, okay, I know what I would feel like if I was Liz.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then I would come back and I m like, what can I,
2
SPEAKER_01
He s like, there s nothing.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like what am I gonna get in there and readjust her hormones?
2
SPEAKER_01
And then I would just, I wouldn t think to bring you like a drawing tablet, you know, or something, but it s just about someone scattered around and they made a care package.
2
SPEAKER_01
It doesn t matter what s in the care package.
2
SPEAKER_02
And of course then when that s happening and you were like, I really should spend the night.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like predatorily.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
I was like, stay out of my business, please.
2
SPEAKER_00
Someone needs to watch you while you sleep.
2
SPEAKER_02
No, but when someone is giving in that way, then of course it brings me back down to earth.
2
SPEAKER_02
Right.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I m able to say, no, what s that going to do?
2
SPEAKER_02
You don t need to do that.
2
SPEAKER_02
Then I can be rational.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s almost Machiavellian because she starts acting so irrational with this random grouping of products that you re like, well, shit, I think I got to be the one here.
2
SPEAKER_03
You know what I think it does, too?
2
SPEAKER_03
I came in with authority.
2
SPEAKER_03
I was like, you should drink juice.
2
SPEAKER_03
You should drink these little packets for kids.
2
SPEAKER_03
Just that, I feel like someone being, even though you don t know
3
SPEAKER_02
what s going on.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, that s what mom is.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
I was a lifeguard for a lot of years and it s so basic.
3
SPEAKER_02
And obviously giving CPR is not simple, but what gets like 80% of people better when they have a drowning accident, like something like really bad happened is just the little blanket and like making sure they don t face the pool and that they re facing you.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s a lot about bringing down shock basically, which you are not in shock.
3
SPEAKER_02
And again, I was probably also managing myself so that I wouldn t feel stressed because I was stressed.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
You are.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, God.
3
SPEAKER_01
And we have to back up even further.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_01
So all this happens.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t have a seizure and I m already wrong about something.
3
SPEAKER_01
The trigger shot is 36 hours before.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like a random number.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because what happens is you do the trigger shot.
3
SPEAKER_01
The next morning, I had to go at 5 a.m.
3
SPEAKER_01
on Sunday.
3
SPEAKER_01
I went to the clinic.
3
SPEAKER_01
I got my blood drawn.
3
SPEAKER_01
They re testing to see if your body took the trigger shot, basically, if it absorbed.
3
SPEAKER_01
And they re testing for HCG levels, which is fascinating because that s pregnancy levels.
3
SPEAKER_01
So that s what happened with me.
3
SPEAKER_01
But you had a different program.
3
SPEAKER_02
They didn t have me come in with the blood test.
3
SPEAKER_02
They gave me a pregnancy test and a little paper bag the day before.
3
SPEAKER_02
And they were like, do this pregnancy test and it ll probably be positive.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then that s great.
3
SPEAKER_02
And so I did my pregnancy test in the morning.
3
SPEAKER_02
We had manicure planned.
3
SPEAKER_02
My pregnancy test is negative.
3
SPEAKER_00
so hard at the manicure plan because we re both guys like if Rob and I had we re building a barn project it was like and then we got we both got haircuts and shaves whoa weren t you guys building the barn you know for us we re too practical what no that is like the day before the big event and you have to like look good and feel good
3
SPEAKER_01
It s like big competition was coming up that we had been gearing up for for a long time.
3
SPEAKER_01
Our whole lives.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_04
So.
3
SPEAKER_04
Oh, so but remember when we learned that you can t have nail polish.
3
SPEAKER_04
Oh my God.
3
SPEAKER_04
And we had to text our doctor again.
3
SPEAKER_04
Your guys  poor doctor.
3
SPEAKER_04
To make sure we could go to.
3
SPEAKER_04
So we got pedicures instead.
3
SPEAKER_01
They press on your fingernails to see if it will fill with blood.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s like your extremities are working during the surgery.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think.
3
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, we had manicures planned with Kristen and the girls.
3
SPEAKER_01
Kristen at this point was back in town.
3
SPEAKER_01
They got in the night before.
3
SPEAKER_01
We go and your pregnancy test is negative.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then I text my doctor, not about the nails, but about the pregnancy test.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then she s like, OK, just go buy one at the drugstore.
3
SPEAKER_02
Sometimes pregnancy tests can be off.
3
SPEAKER_01
We decided to wait to get the pregnancy test after the marriage.
3
SPEAKER_01
because we re like, whatever, let s just go ahead and get to the manicure.
3
SPEAKER_01
We don t really have time.
3
SPEAKER_01
We don t really have time and it s fine.
3
SPEAKER_01
Maybe we ll go to lunch.
3
SPEAKER_01
We ll get it on the way.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then we forgot.
3
SPEAKER_01
We were getting our pedicures.
3
SPEAKER_01
Kristen and the girls were getting pedicures and Delta decided in the middle, she did not want to get one.
3
SPEAKER_01
We beat them there.
3
SPEAKER_01
So we started early.
3
SPEAKER_01
So we were done early.
3
SPEAKER_01
And we were like, let s go to Houston s.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yay.
3
SPEAKER_01
And we ll get a pregnancy test on the way.
3
SPEAKER_01
It ll be great.
3
SPEAKER_00
You just keep kicking it down the road.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then Delta comes up and she says, where are you guys going?
3
SPEAKER_01
And I said, oh, we re going to go to lunch.
3
SPEAKER_01
And she said, can I come?
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, yeah, I don t know how long our day is going to be.
3
SPEAKER_01
Are you OK with that?
3
SPEAKER_01
And she said, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
So we told Kristen, we re bringing Delta with us.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because she was with us for some reason, I was like, should we just wait to get the pregnancy test?
3
SPEAKER_01
I feel guilty about this.
3
SPEAKER_01
Don t.
3
SPEAKER_01
There was a lot going on.
3
SPEAKER_01
And also remember Liz can t drive.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
So she can t go on her own.
3
SPEAKER_02
You had two dependents.
3
SPEAKER_00
A tall one and a short one.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
And one of them needs a pregnancy test.
3
SPEAKER_02
But then we did stop and get one.
3
SPEAKER_02
We stopped and got one.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then we ordered lunch.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then I was like, OK, I m going to go do the pregnancy test in the bathroom at Houston.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then I do the test and it is negative again.
3
SPEAKER_02
The retrieval is the next morning.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yes, exactly.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m a little nervous now, but again, I ll walk.
3
SPEAKER_02
I ll get my hair done.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ll get exfoliated.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ll get a deep tissue 90 minute shiatsu and then I will go back to CVS.
3
SPEAKER_01
But also she s in the bathroom for so long and I m like, oh god Delta s hungry.
3
SPEAKER_01
So we re gonna go ahead and order I m texting her what s happening.
3
SPEAKER_01
You re like, I m still waiting and then it s negative You had one more so you came back out you drank a bunch of water.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, right.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh I m surprised you have juice
3
SPEAKER_01
You drank a ton of water and we were like, it s fine.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s going to be fine.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like this third one for sure.
3
SPEAKER_01
And she goes back into the bathroom.
3
SPEAKER_01
Negative.
3
SPEAKER_01
Negative.
3
SPEAKER_02
So now I m freaking out.
3
SPEAKER_02
Then I m like, okay, there s a CVS.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s a 15 minute walk.
3
SPEAKER_02
I ll just walk over.
3
SPEAKER_02
You guys eat.
3
SPEAKER_02
And so I walked to the CVS and my flip flops from the pedicure.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then I m texting my doctor.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m like, it s negative again.
3
SPEAKER_02
And so she says, get the ovulation test because at this point, that is all we need to know.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like the pregnancy test might not be reading it, but as long as the ovulation test is positive, you re great.
3
SPEAKER_02
And so I go to the CVS, I get a pack of eight ovulation tests.
3
SPEAKER_02
I walk my ass back and then I go straight to Houston s bathroom.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then I do maybe seven of them and I m not ovulating.
3
SPEAKER_01
But now you re like, I got to go back to CVS.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, for what?
3
SPEAKER_01
At this point, these are not working.
3
SPEAKER_01
But then you do go to CVS.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes, I go back.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then I pick you up on the side of the street.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then I got more tests.
3
SPEAKER_00
You guys, this sounds so identical to a story about two addicts.
3
SPEAKER_00
This story could only make sense like, I ve left lunch to go to the Chevron to meet the guy like six times.
3
SPEAKER_00
And you re just like, I can t, I m not doing anything until I get this thing.
3
SPEAKER_03
Oh, 100%.
3
100%.
3
SPEAKER_03
And I still have Delta.
3
SPEAKER_00
She s like, I m ready to go.
3
SPEAKER_00
People wonder how they end up with like, what do you mean you left your child in the car at a crack house?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
No, you took great care of Delta.
3
SPEAKER_02
Thank God.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then my doctor was like, okay, we ll have you come in for blood tests.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh no, they just closed.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then I went back to Dax and Kristen s place.
3
SPEAKER_02
I did a bunch of other tests and then for some reason those were good.
3
SPEAKER_02
There was a kind of a barely there line.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then I sent a bunch of photos to the doctor and she was like, we re good.
3
SPEAKER_02
We re back on track.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was so weird.
3
SPEAKER_02
It was just a lot.
3
SPEAKER_02
And they wanted a very specific brand.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_02
The first CVS run was the wrong brand.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like, I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_00
Have either of you ever seen the show?
3
SPEAKER_00
Absolutely fabulous.
3
SPEAKER_03
I haven t.
3
SPEAKER_03
No, I ve heard of it though.
3
SPEAKER_00
Huge, huge hit in England for years.
3
SPEAKER_00
And it s about two women who are luscious and it s tremendous.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s so funny.
3
SPEAKER_00
Every aspect of this from the you on the floor and the trash can and the whole thing sounds like an episode of absolutely fabulous.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s how this whole show was.
3
SPEAKER_01
And the irony that we were sober during it.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is true.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was trying to be calm, but I was really vicariously stressed out.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was like, what the fuck?
3
SPEAKER_00
She s in and out of Houston.
3
SPEAKER_00
She s been to CBS three times.
3
SPEAKER_00
She s been in the bathroom.
3
SPEAKER_00
There s sticks the whole trip.
3
SPEAKER_00
Someone s emptying the trash can because it s full of sticks.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m feeling also like really codependent about it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m like, she s stressed out and there s something I can do about this, but also like, is she going to be able to get her retrieval?
3
SPEAKER_01
And then what about the podcast?
3
SPEAKER_01
And then, you know, like, of course, like it just starts spiraling.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then Delta s like, give me your phone so I can play games.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m so proud of us for getting through it.
3
SPEAKER_02
That day was nuts.
3
SPEAKER_02
Also, we ve been friends for like 14 days.
3
SPEAKER_02
Real friends.
3
SPEAKER_02
I remember I was like, oh, this is my mean list when I m really stressed.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I was like, Monica s not going to want to be my friend anymore.
3
SPEAKER_02
I like apologized like 10 times over text over that.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, she s still mad at me.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, I wasn t mad.
3
SPEAKER_00
Stay tuned for more.
3
SPEAKER_00
If you dare.
3
SPEAKER_02
Resta35 is supported by Parallel.
3
SPEAKER_02
So we first discovered Parallel after using their egg freezing pack.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s designed to support your body throughout the egg freezing process.
3
SPEAKER_02
It has antioxidants and omegas and a full spectrum multivitamin.
3
SPEAKER_02
And my favorite thing about it is that it is one bottle and you get so many different things from it that if you were to buy all of these separately, it would cost you a fortune and it would take up a lot of space in your cabinet.
3
SPEAKER_01
whether you re egg freezing or it s just regular multivitamin or they even have a PCOS package, which is so awesome.
3
SPEAKER_01
Those things all require very different vitamins.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so it s hard to know what you need at any given moment and having it all packaged together for you is awesome.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, so if you were to source the vitamins individually, you d be spending over $100 a month.
3
SPEAKER_02
But with a parallel subscription, your entire vitamin routine is covered for under $50 a month.
3
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So easy.
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And each pack comes with a 30-day supply of vitamins, all conveniently bundled together into a recyclable daily packet.
3
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You can take on the go anywhere, anytime.
3
SPEAKER_01
Throw some in your purse.
3
SPEAKER_01
Be ready.
3
SPEAKER_02
Exclusively for Race to 35 listeners, Parallel is offering 15% off your first three months of Parallel with code RACE15.
3
SPEAKER_02
Head to parallel.co, that s P-E-R-A-L-L-E.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s Coe.com.
4
SPEAKER_00
And if you don t love it, you can cancel anytime and there s a 30 day money back guarantee.
4
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, it all worked out.
4
SPEAKER_01
It all worked out and we got our retrieval and that s when time changed.
4
SPEAKER_01
We re at present day.
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, we re at the present day of what you just heard.
4
SPEAKER_01
And what ended up being interesting is, let s call it luck, which is not what it is, but it s a nice spin on it.
4
SPEAKER_01
We ended up having to record again anyway, and you ll hear why.
4
SPEAKER_01
And that s the second part of this episode.
4
SPEAKER_01
And let s get into that.
4
SPEAKER_01
So we thought we were done with this podcast, but we have a little bonus update for everyone.
4
SPEAKER_01
I felt like it was not fair for me to not share this info because I know I m not the only one out there who s experienced.
4
SPEAKER_01
this.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I think it s important to share.
4
SPEAKER_01
On our finale, we talked about our retrieval.
4
SPEAKER_01
We talked about how many eggs we got.
4
SPEAKER_01
Reminder, Liz got 19 and 13 were mature and I got six, but I didn t know at that point how many were mature.
4
SPEAKER_01
I figured all six would be mature based on their size and their growth and everything.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I got a call the next day from my doctor and she said, bad news.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it s like, ah, okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
And she said, two of your eggs were mature.
4
SPEAKER_01
And one is
4
SPEAKER_01
not mature, but we think there s a small percentage that it could mature.
4
SPEAKER_01
So we re freezing that too, but really two mature eggs, which since you guys have been following this whole time, I think, you know, by now is percentage wise, zero.
4
SPEAKER_01
It was a blow.
4
SPEAKER_01
Ironically, we were at lunch at the place that we started this whole process.
4
SPEAKER_01
We went to Beachwood Canyon Cafe.
4
SPEAKER_01
We know
4
SPEAKER_01
Rob s back, so now he s doing Googling, which we like.
4
SPEAKER_01
Beachwood Cafe, which is where we took our cover art pictures.
4
SPEAKER_01
That was before we knew.
4
SPEAKER_01
We were so innocent.
4
SPEAKER_01
We hadn t started our shots.
4
SPEAKER_01
It was before it all began.
4
SPEAKER_01
We had returned there, and I got the call while we were there eating burritos.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it was a big bummer.
4
SPEAKER_01
There s just no getting around it.
4
SPEAKER_01
It was a big bummer and it felt really disappointing.
4
SPEAKER_01
It felt like a huge waste of time, money, energy.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t feel that way anymore, I will say.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t feel like it was a waste.
4
SPEAKER_01
I feel like it was an experience.
4
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t regret doing it at all.
4
SPEAKER_01
I learned a lot about my body, learned a lot about myself, learned a lot about my strength.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m still grateful.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m also, though, in a position, unlike so many women, where it was very annoying to think
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wow.
4
SPEAKER_01
$10,000 for nothing.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I m really lucky in that I can do it again and I will do it again.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I don t have to really, really super sweat about the financial element of it.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I feel for so many people who are like, I can t do that.
4
SPEAKER_01
Can t do that.
4
SPEAKER_01
And hear this information and that money really is gone.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it could have gone towards rent, mortgage, whatever.
4
SPEAKER_01
A lot of burritos.
4
SPEAKER_01
Necessary burritos.
4
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, so I did feel like it was important for me to share that because it was a big update and it was a big part of the process and it wouldn t have been fair for me to sort of keep that to myself.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s a big deal and the fact that you re talking about it and sharing it, this is 48 hours ago.
4
SPEAKER_00
Just as your friend seeing you go through this and your resilience going through this also is the day before your fucking birthday.
4
SPEAKER_00
When the doctor called mid-burrito, it felt like you did regret.
4
SPEAKER_00
You were like, that s just all this money down the drain.
4
SPEAKER_00
And you know, I wouldn t have known that there s maybe something wrong.
4
SPEAKER_00
And there is nothing wrong, right?
4
SPEAKER_00
It s so different from fertility.
4
SPEAKER_00
You were like, it s embarrassing.
4
SPEAKER_00
And you didn t even know if you wanted to share this.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it s so amazing that you re here and you re saying this and you ve come so far in so little time and that you re willing to share it with people.
4
SPEAKER_00
And that s just like a really big gift.
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, I think there are so many people who will be listening to this who will be in the exact same position.
4
SPEAKER_00
How did you process all of this and get to a place where you can be thankful for the experience?
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, the other thing is I kind of like blacked out.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like as soon as she said two, I was like, oh my God.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then she said, you know, it s surprising even for her because those six felt like they should have
4
SPEAKER_01
yielded mature eggs.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so they didn t, which could be indicative of X, Y, and Z words.
4
SPEAKER_01
I blacked out and don t know what she said, but she kind of gave potential reasons.
4
SPEAKER_01
Then I was like, oh my God, something s actually wrong with my reproductive system.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh no.
4
SPEAKER_01
I just remember I did say, okay, so when you say that sometimes this process reveals information, what does that mean?
4
SPEAKER_01
And then she, again,
4
SPEAKER_01
kind of said something I don t understand.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, she basically said, sometimes your ovaries, the way they act, don t necessarily represent your age.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, so are my ovaries 90?
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, I m a grandma ovary?
4
SPEAKER_01
What does that mean?
4
SPEAKER_01
But circling back to the very beginning of this, the birth control potentially had an impact.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so we ll see.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I am going to do it again.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m going to do it after having been off birth control for four or five months.
4
SPEAKER_01
and she has a new plan of how she wants to go about it next time, having had this experience, which is a little bit longer of a process and a little bit different of a process.
4
SPEAKER_01
So anyway, I came back into the restaurant, but like, of course I was with you when they called.
4
SPEAKER_01
Of course, because my dad s running the sim and he at least wanted the podcast to be good.
4
SPEAKER_01
if I had to go through this.
4
SPEAKER_01
So he arranged it so that I was with you.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I told you and you were so supportive.
4
SPEAKER_01
My first instinct was just, I don t want to talk about this anymore.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I don t want to think about it.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s like moving on.
4
SPEAKER_01
OK, I want to look at the menu.
4
SPEAKER_01
This is over.
4
SPEAKER_00
Moving on.
4
SPEAKER_00
You didn t want to talk about dating, which is a topic you don t ever want to talk about.
4
SPEAKER_00
You were like, let s talk about who you want to matchmake me with.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s how I knew something was wrong.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was like, oh, she wants to talk about this.
4
SPEAKER_00
There s nothing to say.
4
SPEAKER_00
That must have been Liz.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, I mean, I have my 13.
4
SPEAKER_00
I can t.
4
SPEAKER_00
You re allowed to be disappointed about two or feel whatever feelings you have.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, not even I almost felt and I have 13 and she only is like she has to be around a 13 now.
4
SPEAKER_00
It must be so annoying that I was there, actually, you know, and there s just nothing you can say.
4
SPEAKER_00
I talked to my mom about it afterwards, and my mom was like, oh, it s like a miscarriage, which my mom has had, too.
4
SPEAKER_00
And the reason why I m here is that she had a miscarriage.
4
SPEAKER_00
Right.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s a horrible, horrible thing.
4
SPEAKER_00
But it is a grief.
4
SPEAKER_00
And she said, you know, because you ve been talking about this for two weeks, imagining what s going to happen after this process.
4
SPEAKER_00
So, of course, it s a loss.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I think just acknowledging, you know, you don t have to see the silver lining.
4
SPEAKER_00
You wanted something different.
4
SPEAKER_00
And that s hard.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
I had had a little tinge of that feeling of this feels like stupid.
4
SPEAKER_01
The way I feel didn t seem like it matched.
4
SPEAKER_01
what was happening.
4
SPEAKER_01
I feel like I like really lost something big, but I didn t.
4
SPEAKER_01
I didn t have anything.
4
SPEAKER_01
There wasn t anything I lost, but then that sort of gave me some validation.
4
SPEAKER_01
It is, we just like future surfed for two weeks.
4
SPEAKER_01
We really did.
4
SPEAKER_00
And not only that, but our bodies were
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes, you were getting off hormones.
4
SPEAKER_00
So after the retrievals, emotionally, when you can have the most difficulty, we were walking like pregnant.
4
SPEAKER_00
Cars were slowing down when we came out of the diner because we walked like we were pregnant.
4
SPEAKER_00
Your body was in pain, which again is what happens in a miscarriage.
4
SPEAKER_00
You re not only getting this really terrible news, but then your body is still reeling from it.
4
SPEAKER_00
And you re like, wait, I have this horrible thing and my body s wrecked from it, from something I don t even get to have.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it was hard.
4
SPEAKER_00
You got through it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I ve had people reach out today be like, how s Monica doing?
4
SPEAKER_00
I m like, oh, she s fine.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, oh, right.
4
SPEAKER_00
Two days ago, I was like, oh, my God, like I was like crying, you know, talking to my friends.
4
SPEAKER_00
It is incredible, Monica.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think it s so amazing that you can talk about it today so that, again, if someone s listening to this, going through this or have gone through this and they haven t been able to get at the point of processing the grief of it, it s amazing that you ve been able to do that in such a short amount of time.
4
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, onward and upward, you know, everything s gonna happen the way it s gonna happen.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I have no.
5
SPEAKER_01
control.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it s yet another reminder that I have no control.
5
SPEAKER_01
But we get reminders in life, right?
5
SPEAKER_01
Like we don t have control over anything.
5
SPEAKER_01
And we walk around with this illusion that we have it.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then you have these little peaks where it s like, oh, yeah, no, I don t.
5
SPEAKER_00
resisting the urge to turn it into a story.
5
SPEAKER_00
We make our lives more difficult by taking one interaction or one life event or one thing and being like, well, this is why.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I think one of the really impressive things you did was separating it from fertility.
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, that took a minute.
5
SPEAKER_00
I know it did.
5
SPEAKER_00
How did you do that?
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, definitely like that s where my mind was starting to go.
5
SPEAKER_01
Of course.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
5
SPEAKER_01
Now I m infertile, which my doctor was clear to say is not true.
5
SPEAKER_01
She was just like, doesn t mean you re infertile.
5
SPEAKER_01
You made mature eggs.
5
SPEAKER_01
All it takes is one.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s just these numbers matter for this.
5
SPEAKER_01
They matter for freezing.
5
SPEAKER_01
They matter for IVF, but you can still get pregnant from what we can tell.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I,
5
SPEAKER_01
I heard that, but when something didn t go the way it should have gone, it means, okay, so maybe things won t go the way they are supposed to go next time or any time after that for the rest of my life.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
So Kristen, I came and saw her and she was very
5
SPEAKER_01
helpful and she was really hammering that it doesn t mean anything about my future.
5
SPEAKER_00
She was like, if a scientist was looking at this, they would say, well, this is one result for one time.
5
SPEAKER_00
You need many results in order to even make a conclusion.
5
SPEAKER_00
And so don t make a conclusion about something that you don t have a lot of information about.
5
SPEAKER_00
That is important for, again, people to hear.
5
SPEAKER_00
One retrieval is one retrieval.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s from one moment in time, one cycle.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s not something you can generalize about your body.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I think that is important.
5
SPEAKER_01
Also, you mentioned it a second ago, but it s really true.
5
SPEAKER_01
And this is so me, but the first instinct was pure embarrassment.
5
SPEAKER_01
I was so embarrassed.
5
SPEAKER_01
Embarrassed.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s like when you really give something your all in front of everybody, like a boss.
5
SPEAKER_01
You just were on stage.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then you fall on your way out.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s embarrassing.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it s not.
5
SPEAKER_01
If somebody else was telling me this, of course I can try to remove myself and try to hear it as if it was my friend.
5
SPEAKER_01
And oh my God, of course it s not embarrassing.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s amazing.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s the opposite.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s so strong.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s the kind of thing you don t want to have to be that strong.
5
SPEAKER_00
Right.
5
SPEAKER_00
And that s the last thing you want to hear when you re like going through something.
5
SPEAKER_00
But it s the opposite of falling.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s I just did a tap dance.
5
SPEAKER_00
You did a whole somersault and a half.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s more impressive that you re doing this given the results and given that you re going to keep going on this journey and you re willing to do it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
It goes to the overachiever, the SATs.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m like, oh my God, here we go again.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know, I didn t get the score I wanted on the SATs.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it s so embarrassing.
5
SPEAKER_01
It means I m not smart.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m walking around with this persona that I am.
5
SPEAKER_01
Now it s revealed.
5
SPEAKER_01
Now everyone knows.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s so obvious that I m not, and I m going to have to take this again.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m going to have to take it again and again and again.
5
SPEAKER_01
I took the SATs three times.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it feels like that, you know, it s like, oh, now everyone knows I m,
5
SPEAKER_01
broken or failure.
5
SPEAKER_01
So those are the feelings that wash over you and I m sure wash over everyone who s doing this.
5
SPEAKER_01
But I am able to see it a little differently a few days out.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m really grateful and I m part of it is I think because we ve been doing this show and we ve learned so much and I just have so much hope that it s gonna help people and it s gonna teach people and everything.
5
SPEAKER_01
So, you know, I get a lot of self-esteem from this show and that and I m grateful.
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you think that it s helped you rethink that SAT mindset of like, you didn t get the result you wanted, but like, it s not a marker of any intrinsic or even extrinsic.
5
SPEAKER_00
You couldn t have put the needles further down or like did the shots in a better way.
5
SPEAKER_00
You crushed it, by the way.
5
SPEAKER_00
You had trays, you had the whole thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
So do you think that it kind of forces you to question that story?
5
SPEAKER_00
That the mark is a result of your inherent value and that your inherent value really
5
SPEAKER_00
is always there regardless of the result?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
I want to believe that.
5
SPEAKER_01
No, I do.
5
SPEAKER_01
Obviously now, 19 years later, I can look back on the SATs and be like, that didn t matter.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, look, I did ultimately end up with a good score, but that s because
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I took it three times.
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I also think that s okay to be a person who doesn t necessarily get everything on the first try.
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You have to work hard for things that you want.
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I have to work hard for things that I want.
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And those are the best people to be around.
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People who have to hustle.
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And in 19 years, when you look back on this moment, you might have that same perspective.
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You ll know what happens.
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We ll check back in in 19 years.
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But I m grateful to you.
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So grateful.
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Well, because even right after I found out and I had like sort of bottled it and then I went to Kristen s and then I had a little bit of a breakdown and then you were there and then we decided that the best thing to do was to get cake.
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And potatoes.
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And potatoes.
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Chocolate cake and potatoes.
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Highly recommend.
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I didn t know if that was going to be the best thing for our bodies in the moment, but it was definitely the best thing for my mind.
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Yes.
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So we went to All Time, shout out All Time, and we had delicious potatoes and delicious cake.
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We talked to some people there.
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Some people stopped us and they were like, I m so happy you guys are doing this journey.
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And, you know, I m thinking about doing it myself.
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It s going to be really helpful.
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And I was like, it s all I needed.
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Yeah.
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I got worried when she started talking.
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I was like, oh God, oh God, oh God.
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And I was like, no, it s so amazing.
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It is.
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And I think as a woman and a mom to the world, we can all be moms to the world.
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And so this is like a little bit of what I ve birthed.
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Yeah.
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And women seeing women really being women.
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Again, my mom was like, she doesn t have to talk about it on the podcast.
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She s going to be thinking about that right now.
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Fuck the podcast.
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Like not the podcast, but like she was just like, she should be focusing on what is helpful to her.
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She doesn t have to share anything.
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And obviously I know that that was an option for you and you re choosing to really reveal all of it.
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And I just feel so thankful when women do that and people in general.
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I think we re all living in this weird meta world where we re turning into robots and sort of anime versions of ourself.
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But I think that it s healing to me.
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It s been healing to me to do this with you.
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We see very sanitized stories about women and particularly very sanitized stories about our reproductive health.
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And that s part of the reason why we live in this weird world where
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We don t know anything.
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We don t know anything.
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And people think they can take away things from us and make decisions for us.
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This is real.
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This is it.
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And I think it s so powerful.
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And you re so amazing.
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What you did in 48 or even on honestly 24 hours because on your birthday you were the best and charming and enchanting and having the best time of your life.
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What you did in 24 hours is something I know it would have just taken me so long.
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I don t know.
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It might come back next week.
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Who knows?
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That s OK, too.
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But we ended the last episode saying, we can do hard things.
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We can do hard things.
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And I m going to end this one with the same sentiment because it still applies and it s still true.
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We can do hard things.
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OK.
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That s that.
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So because of the way everything ended, we felt that it was maybe a good idea for us to chat with someone some months out and see how we re feeling after and how we are thinking back on the experience and reflecting on it.
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We have a very special guest who joins us for that.
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So we have a bonus episode for you next week with a very special guest months later.
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you