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This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.
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Look at how fast, we re almost halfway through the year.
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Crazy, yeah.
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Are you proud of what you ve done in 2024 so far?
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I mean, you always want to do more, right?
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Life goes so fast, David.
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It s important to take a moment to celebrate your wins, make adjustments for the rest of the year.
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Listen, therapy is the way to go.
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I did it for a while.
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And I think the thing that slowed me down was what they, is driving to Santa Monica in traffic once or twice a week.
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This is online.
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It s a great idea.
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Very convenient.
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You ve got coping skills, how to set boundaries.
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I mean, there s so many things you can do here to be a better version of yourself.
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You can probably always sharpen it.
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Yeah, I mean, I had a therapist in Portland and I would commute and that was a pain.
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That s a long drive.
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I know it was 1300 miles one way, but you know, it s good therapist.
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But yeah, this one you can mix and match and your thoughts kind of control you and you want to master them.
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That s betterhelp, H-E-L-P.com slash F-O-T-W.
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Hey, we re gonna introduce Steve and Marty right now, but I wanna say here s some acting tips for you at home if you don t do the masterclass.
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This is a quick one.
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When you re talking and you wanna act and you have to say a line like, hey, I think everyone s gonna go tonight, except for dad.
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You could do it that way, but it really helps if you have props.
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So you go like this.
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Hey, I think everyone s going tonight.
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Except dad.
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That s a good one.
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That was very acting.
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This one s good too.
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10 out of 10.
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When you re shocked, David.
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Yeah.
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Are you telling me my son s gay?
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Why are you mad about it?
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I don t know.
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And then this one s good.
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I don t know.
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Who knew there was such a mutating little mother?
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That s my Fauci.
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Probably can t use the gay one.
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No, you can, it s funny.
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So Steve Martin, one of my all time favorite of all time comics and then all the movies he did.
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We re just, you know, just bam, bam, bam from the jerk to this.
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So many good ones, always solid, always humble, likes to stay out of the limelight, out of the main event.
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And Martin Short, who s very out there, very, I think they re a great combo because of that on Only Murders in the Building.
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They also do a standup tour, which I ve seen is a fucking home run.
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They even do a joke about me in it.
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It s kind of flattering, right?
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Oh, really?
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They have a joke about you?
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I don t like jokes about me, yeah.
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Oh, funny.
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And I was in the audience like, what?
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And then everyone s like, ah, that would have fucking burned, dude.
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And I m like, oh, that s funny.
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You know, of course I go along with it.
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Great guy syndrome.
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Ha, ha, ha, ha, yeah.
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Aren t I the asshole?
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Anyway, great.
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Dana, you add, because I love these two guys.
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I m going to add to Steve Martin, Martin Short, or as I think they should shorten the name to Steve Martin Short, because every name is there.
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Boom.
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Steve Martin, you know, and Martin Short, I saw them both on television in the seventies.
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Martin Short, I thought, well, we look like we re in the same tribe.
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He does voices.
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He s cool.
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I was always in awe of him.
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And then of course, Steve Martin was a huge,
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Huge influence on me because he wouldn t do jokes.
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It was all rhythm.
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Excuse me So I would say it was slightly nerve-wracking to have both of your heroes on there really and now they Are perfectly adjoined at the hip at this point of their career and they act as incredible.
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They re such good friends
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And so I would say it was a thrill to have both of them on.
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Marty had one of the best years ever on Saturday Night Live, has hosted a ton.
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And Steve Martin is just a force of nature in comedy in the last four years.
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Steve Martin s albums, I remembered every goddamn line and I couldn t help myself.
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I just wanted to say, this was funny.
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It s not even questions.
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This was good.
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He used to sing and he d go, Grandpa bought a rubber.
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Okay.
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So, and that was his whole act was just non-sequitur.
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Let me try that with this thing.
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Okay.
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And he d finish playing and go, this guy is good.
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Grandpa bought a rubber.
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Oh, it s a remake.
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Grandpa Bonorama.
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That was Steve Martin with a little jazzy thing.
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Okay, guys, here they are.
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We don t waste your time anymore.
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These two geniuses.
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We want to be longer than the actual podcast.
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Our goal in the intros is that it s literally they have the cadence.
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People keep going.
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Okay.
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We have to, we don t get to the real thing.
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Say that, guys.
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Who s even on this one?
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They keep forgetting.
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All right, here they are.
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Go, go, go.
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Okay, Greg, bye.
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Okay, Greg, fuck off.
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Got it.
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Let s start this damn interview.
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Yeah.
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Here we go.
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By the way, are we talking about something in particular or we re just having fun, right?
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We re just having fun and you can guide us into things.
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We ll ask you things and you can always answer or change the subject.
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It s a conversation.
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Pretend we re at Orso s chatting.
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Yeah.
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By the way, it s Orso.
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Steve doesn t like this idea.
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It s Orso.
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It s Orso, singular?
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It s not Orso s with an S, sorry.
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I was never invited.
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That s like, you know, Granny Clampett going to the cement pond, you know?
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I thought it was Sorso s.
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There s an S on both sides.
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You could get takeout food.
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Is that Lauren s go-to place in New York still, Orso, right?
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It s still Orso.
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Isn t it?
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No, I would say Orso.
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Yes.
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It s very popular and really good and fun and you meet where the elite meet to eat.
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Yes.
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Wow.
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So you re always writing, Steve?
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Yes.
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I just created that now.
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Think of it as you were there when it happened.
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Have you ever been at Orso and saw someone and you were starstruck and were afraid to approach them?
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Michael Caine, I ll just throw out a couple thoughts.
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Well, Michael Caine I know, so I would agree.
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That doesn t work.
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Yeah.
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Regis.
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I know you, I do.
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You know everybody.
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You said Martin knew John Lennon, is that true?
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I would not go up for John Lennon.
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I would not go up to John Lennon.
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He wouldn t talk to him, yeah.
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No, I knew, I had an evening once with George Harrison.
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But not John Lennon.
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Never met John.
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Oh, I know.
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And Steve and I actually know both.
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You do?
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Well, George was always so languorous.
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You do a good George Harrison, Marty.
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Yeah.
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Do you do a specific Harrison different from Lennon?
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Because they re both kind of trebly.
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No.
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I mean, I can t do voices.
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I do like three voices.
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I m not you.
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No, it s you.
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Thank you.
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It s true.
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My heroes... Steve has a line in our show after I do this impersonation story.
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And Steve says... I ll do it.
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I ll do it to you.
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I say, Marty, I have to compliment you because you do something I don t.
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No, no.
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Sometimes you re entertaining.
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You do impressions and I don t do impressions because I don t need to.
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When did the put down motif come into your relationship and or your act?
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Because it is really funny.
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Well, I noticed when I first met Marty that
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he would do it naturally.
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And it was part of his humor.
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And it s a way of, I assume it s a way of saying, I love you.
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Marty is the master of that.
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By making you feel badly about who you are.
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Yeah.
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And so I kind of got wind of it and I liked it because it s that old thing that the wall of irony that keeps you from hugging.
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Yes.
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What is a classic?
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You said to Jimmy Fallon, you re the best late night show to go to sleep to.
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It s that kind of turn.
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Well, listen, I grew up in an Irish, Catholic, sarcastic family, so that was the norm.
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I grew up in a warm, loving family.
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Marty, who met who first and who
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went up to who first?
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I briefly met Steve backstage of the new show in the middle of a new show.
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And I was going to Catherine O Hara s dressing room, who was also in the new show.
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This was Lawrence, a prime time, mini SNL of 1984.
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Spinoff.
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And I briefly met Steve and he was in, you smiled, but you were getting a change, you were focused.
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And the next time I met him was I went to his house in July of 85 to pick up a script for Three Amigos.
1
Whoa.
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Fucking Three Amigos.
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SPEAKER_01
Wow.
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And did you have to audition for him or did you already have the part?
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And he hadn t been invited.
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That s what s so stupid.
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Exactly.
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Just knocked on the door.
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I did not audition.
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But I was not the first request, you know.
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I told Marty, when I gave him the script,
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I said, now here s your script.
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And when you read it and you come across Rick Moranis  name, just cross it out.
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Read it and take the third funniest part.
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That s yours.
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Is it satisfying to you guys that that movie has gotten shinier and brighter as time s gone on?
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I mean, it was a hit.
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Say it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Say it.
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SPEAKER_02
It was a flop.
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SPEAKER_01
No, it was a flop.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, it was.
1
SPEAKER_01
I didn t know that.
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That s what you re thinking.
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That s what you re thinking.
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SPEAKER_01
Okay.
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I confess.
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It bombed horribly.
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I have to say.
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Hey, how are you?
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It did fine, but it wasn t like I kept thinking, oh, this is going to kill him.
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And it didn t kill him.
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And then about actually five years ago, I got a call.
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from Empire Magazine in England.
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It was a movie magazine.
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And they said, we want to put you guys on the cover.
1
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And I said, why?
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And they said, because it s the 25th anniversary of Three Amigos.
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And it broke even.
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And I thought, yeah.
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It finally broke even.
1
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And I thought, really?
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I didn t even know it was venerated, I guess.
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Fuck, yes.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, my God.
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I grew up.
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Unreal.
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SPEAKER_00
Unbelievable.
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I don t know how to describe those kinds of movies that don t get made anymore, but would would silly be one of them or more overtly funny?
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I mean, there s something about there s something about Steve and I were talking about this the other day that when we were promoting Three Amigos, we were on The Today Show and Brian Gumbel said to Steve,
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Now, what would you say if people say this film is just silly?
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And Chevy said, oh, by the way, I make six million dollars a movie.
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I could buy and sell this place or something like that.
1
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Oh my god, Chevy was on this Steve and he was so, we love Chevy and you just never know what you re getting and we definitely did not know what we were getting while we were getting it and he was saying so many funny things.
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I wish we filmed it because he was pretty crazy and he was going after me and Dana the whole time but I thought it was hysterical.
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Truly, no offense, Marty, one of the funniest people I ever met.
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Offstage, I m talking, offstage, funny onstage, but offscreen, he was hilarious, is hilarious.
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I mean, I can t even tell you the stuff.
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He wants, okay, here s a Chevy story.
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We were at, this is 1989, and it s the AFI tribute to Gregory Peck.
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And there s all these tables, and Gregory Peck is getting honored.
1
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And we re all excited.
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And my wife, Nancy, and I go with the chases.
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And at one point, Charlton Heston gets up and says, I guess you can say, Greg, that I ve been one lucky guy.
1
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And Chevy, without looking up from his state, screams, I ll say.
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And you know, Heston gets thrown and he looks around, you know.
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Another Chevy story is, you know, Marty used to throw an annual Christmas party at his house, invite all his friends.
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And the deal was that everybody had to get up and do something.
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And sometimes people would prepare.
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They wouldn t prepare.
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They d sing a song.
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And I worked on a banjo song for a year.
1
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All right.
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Old Lang Syne, as a matter of fact.
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I worked on it for a year.
1
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And Chevy was there.
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And I knew he had nothing.
1
SPEAKER_01
How did you know?
1
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And so I, no, he just, you know, I don t know.
1
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So I do my thing and whatever.
1
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And then they call Chevy up and he starts off like this.
1
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He said, you have to forgive me.
1
SPEAKER_03
And I know he s ad-libbing this.
1
SPEAKER_03
You have to forgive me.
1
SPEAKER_03
I m a little depressed tonight because I lost my entire family.
1
SPEAKER_03
Who would have thought a plane
1
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would land on a boat.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s a trip.
1
SPEAKER_01
It was very fun.
1
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Every single second was shtick.
1
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Spit takes, everything, very pornographic material, everything, nonstop.
1
SPEAKER_00
By the way, Steve, I gave up on Old Ang Zion about eight months in.
1
SPEAKER_03
On the what?
1
SPEAKER_03
Guitar?
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Yeah, on the banjo.
1
SPEAKER_03
On the banjo?
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No, I m kidding.
1
SPEAKER_01
Steve, do you detune on banjos?
1
SPEAKER_01
Because I detune on my guitar or detune or take the G string, make it an E. That s my latest toy.
1
SPEAKER_01
Do banjos detune?
1
SPEAKER_03
You can play it in D. You can tune it to D. You can play in D. You can play in G. And I used to play a lot in what they call double C on the banjo.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s beautiful.
1
SPEAKER_02
Give me a C, a bouncy C.
1
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Steve, I was watching, Marty, I was watching Steve at the Troubadour, 1976.
1
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It was on YouTube yesterday, and I was looking you up, of course.
1
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Too much to talk about with you.
1
SPEAKER_00
One of my all-time favorites, of course, of both of you guys, and you were talking about your banjo, and you did a joke where you, it s hard to see, but you re spreading your fingers, and you re spreading them so far apart.
1
SPEAKER_00
And you go, I could go with an easy, tiny pinky chord up here.
1
SPEAKER_00
But I m going for the fullest extension.
1
SPEAKER_00
So many jokes.
1
SPEAKER_00
Some of those old stand-ups you do, and we re jumping around, but obviously I was in the era of listening to your albums back and forth, knowing everything.
1
SPEAKER_00
I won t bore you with that, but knowing every line and it s sort of fun to hear it and not see it.
1
SPEAKER_00
I never saw you in person do stand-up when I was in Arizona.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then seeing that Troubadour was kind of funny because I remember the albums and hearing, you know, there s so many change-ups, so many throwaway jokes.
1
SPEAKER_00
gets physical fast, change up again.
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SPEAKER_00
I didn t really know, now that I know more about standup, I didn t know, it was hard to put your finger on why I liked it, but then there s so many layers to it, and it s so smart and thought out, it s great.
1
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Well, I think actually, because I was kind of physical, that the albums worked better not seeing what was going on, because it made you go, what s going on?
1
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
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Because you d fade away from the mic and go, more wine!
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Or just do things, and I d picture in my head, what is he doing?
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Well, if you listen to a Jerry Seinfeld record, you can just relax, just listen and be happy, and you never have to say what s going on.
1
SPEAKER_03
But that was an era where they didn t have HBO comedians, and it was all records.
1
SPEAKER_01
I think Jerry should do a vinyl album, because he has that voice you want to listen to.
1
SPEAKER_01
And you d see him on the cover, and the title of the album would be Paperclips.
1
SPEAKER_01
Why?
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SPEAKER_01
Sorry, we had to go there.
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SPEAKER_01
Steve, one thing that s very cool about your career is the aesthetic.
1
SPEAKER_01
It seems like the album cover where you re blurry with the rabbit ears on is such a beautiful album cover.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, that picture, are you completely controlling all the artwork?
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SPEAKER_03
I loved that picture because there s a
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SPEAKER_03
There s a mystery to it.
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SPEAKER_03
I ve used it before on the cover of my book, too, Born Standing Up.
1
SPEAKER_03
I ll have to think of the name.
1
SPEAKER_03
The photographer s name was Bobby Klein.
1
SPEAKER_03
He actually traveled with me as a what?
1
SPEAKER_03
A photographer.
1
SPEAKER_01
A man who takes pictures?
1
SPEAKER_02
More like a companion to do acupuncture.
1
SPEAKER_02
Let s explore this.
1
SPEAKER_02
He did acupuncture.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m sure he did.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, he did acupuncture, all right.
1
SPEAKER_03
Oh, don t worry about that.
1
SPEAKER_01
You might feel a little prick.
1
SPEAKER_03
Well, that s what he told me it was.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s fine.
1
SPEAKER_03
Is it supposed to hurt like that?
1
SPEAKER_00
Is it not supposed to hurt?
1
SPEAKER_03
And yeah, he took that photo.
1
SPEAKER_03
And I can t even describe the photo because it s almost...
2
SPEAKER_01
I m there but not there at the same time.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s a ghost-like image.
2
SPEAKER_04
So cool.
2
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, it does seem like.
2
SPEAKER_01
Being serious about it rather than being a funny cover.
2
SPEAKER_01
I know.
2
SPEAKER_01
I could talk about this all day, really.
2
SPEAKER_02
All day.
2
SPEAKER_02
I just like the idea.
2
SPEAKER_02
I like the idea, which I ve never heard of.
2
SPEAKER_02
You re there but you re not there.
2
SPEAKER_02
It kind of blows my mind.
2
SPEAKER_01
Listen, you were there at the moment I said it.
2
SPEAKER_04
Dreamlike.
2
SPEAKER_04
Here s an interesting connection for me personally.
2
SPEAKER_04
So I see Marty on SCTV, completely blown away by his rhythms, his attitude.
2
SPEAKER_04
The one I really stood out for me, because it went on so long, you doing Rob Williams in the studio and climbing up the ladder.
2
SPEAKER_04
And then Steve, the blue spot bit, you know, I saw you at the Berkeley Community Center at the height of that character you were playing.
2
SPEAKER_04
But the blue spot bit had no joke.
2
SPEAKER_04
It went on for five minutes.
2
SPEAKER_04
It s all about commitment and rhythm.
2
SPEAKER_04
And I won a comedy competition because I did a bit based on rhythm and I m sure it was completely influenced by you.
2
SPEAKER_04
It s called the blue spot bit.
2
SPEAKER_04
No, it was a single guy.
2
SPEAKER_04
What do you do?
2
SPEAKER_04
You work, you go to school or what?
2
SPEAKER_04
I m in college doing this, but it s interesting for me that my two favorites
2
SPEAKER_04
now are a comedy team at times, you know, it s sort of, you know, it s 40 years later.
2
SPEAKER_04
There they are.
2
SPEAKER_04
And it makes sense to me because you guys just have this.
2
SPEAKER_04
I don t know what you call it, but magic.
2
SPEAKER_01
If Marty, do you want to talk about the blue spot bit or should I just continue talking about?
2
SPEAKER_02
I want to hear about the blue.
2
SPEAKER_01
OK, well, to me, the blue spot bit was just a member.
2
SPEAKER_02
I remember I keep meaning to get to a lot of your work, but I know.
2
SPEAKER_01
You have no idea what I m talking about.
2
SPEAKER_04
I love that you re calling it the blue spot bit.
2
SPEAKER_04
Like, I m so excited.
2
SPEAKER_03
What is it called, Steve, in your world?
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, it s the blue spot bit.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s a track.
2
SPEAKER_01
Excuse me.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s what that would be.
2
SPEAKER_04
Oh, that s right.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was all about the arrogance.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s what just made me laugh so much.
2
SPEAKER_01
The arrogance of being insulted because you can t get a blue spot.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m trying to play a banjo song and I need a blue spot.
2
SPEAKER_01
I can t get it.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m an artist now.
2
SPEAKER_04
You re talking to the lighting man.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_04
In the middle of your show.
2
SPEAKER_04
You have to build the anger and arrogance very slowly.
2
SPEAKER_04
First, it s really casual.
2
SPEAKER_04
Can I get a blue spot?
2
SPEAKER_04
Can I get a blue spot?
2
SPEAKER_04
And then it just builds and builds and builds.
2
SPEAKER_03
And then you wait.
2
SPEAKER_03
Don t you go red, blue or red?
2
SPEAKER_03
Doesn t matter.
2
SPEAKER_01
Do we have that spot?
2
SPEAKER_01
But the point is that since I m on this podcast and kind of talking about myself and Marty, that arrogance runs through our comedy, I would say.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_03
It s a fun angle.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_02
Here s a typical joke we do, which is the same idea, where I say to Steve, Steve, can I just say what an honor it is for me to be standing on the stage
2
SPEAKER_02
Let me just say standing on a stage next to a man who s a comedian, a writer, a novelist, a playwright, and a legendary comedian.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I say, let me say what an honor it is for me to be standing next to the man who is standing next to that man.
2
SPEAKER_00
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2
SPEAKER_00
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2
SPEAKER_04
Could I just mention on this general topic, your titles of your shows?
2
SPEAKER_04
Cause I, when I hear them and I go, well, that s, they re all the greatest titles.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_04
If I d saved, I wouldn t be here.
2
SPEAKER_04
I think that was going to be one that you were going to use Marty for a Broadway show.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s right.
2
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_04
Uh, see us now because you won t later or you won t believe what they look like now.
2
SPEAKER_04
I mean, all that s the current,
2
SPEAKER_02
One was going to be called, two for the price of three.
2
SPEAKER_01
What was the one we did?
2
SPEAKER_01
The Dukes of Funnytown.
2
SPEAKER_01
The Dukes of Funnytown is our next one, we think.
2
SPEAKER_04
The best show in the town right now.
2
SPEAKER_01
We ll see now.
2
SPEAKER_01
At the moment.
2
SPEAKER_01
At the moment.
2
SPEAKER_01
The funniest show in town at the moment.
2
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_04
But the Dukes of Funnytown you re going to use for the next whatever tour.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, we re thinking of that.
2
SPEAKER_04
Will there be a song?
2
SPEAKER_01
The Dukes of Funnytown.
2
SPEAKER_03
It s so hard to think of funny titles.
2
SPEAKER_03
You know, Steve, also, I love the title of your book, Number One is Walking, and just how inside that is and how funny it is.
2
SPEAKER_03
They call, on a movie, they call the first person that calls sheet number one.
2
SPEAKER_03
And all day, no matter what you re doing, there s someone next to you going, number one is 10-100, number one is walking, number one s going to this trailer.
2
SPEAKER_03
And it s so annoying.
2
SPEAKER_03
And it s just so funny to see that.
2
SPEAKER_04
Explain why you chose that.
2
SPEAKER_01
I ll tell you why, because I had an anecdote about it.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it s that the first time I did a movie, and I heard the jerk, and I d hear, number one is walking.
2
SPEAKER_01
I d go, oh, that s so embarrassing.
2
SPEAKER_01
They don t do that.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then you do your fourth or fifth movie, and you hear, number one is walking.
2
SPEAKER_01
Now you re kind of used to it.
2
SPEAKER_01
And now you re going, wow, number one is walking.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was fantastic.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then I did a movie with Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin, and I heard, number three is walking.
2
SPEAKER_01
Whoa, what?
2
SPEAKER_04
Oh, a dagger to the heart.
2
SPEAKER_04
Oh.
2
SPEAKER_04
It s complicated, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_04
Which is brilliant.
2
SPEAKER_04
That s a movie that you can watch
2
SPEAKER_04
you know, over and over again.
2
SPEAKER_04
It s a huge favorite.
2
SPEAKER_03
Even Marty gives it up on that one.
2
SPEAKER_02
But isn t it?
2
SPEAKER_02
No, no, no, no.
2
SPEAKER_04
You got to know that.
2
SPEAKER_04
That s just one of those movies that works.
2
SPEAKER_04
It just works.
2
SPEAKER_01
Complicated, as mentioned in the new Kelly Clarkson song called I Hate Love.
2
SPEAKER_04
I saw that you do a solo on that when you re playing banjo.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it s a really good, good record.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it s very it s one of those lyrics that s very direct.
2
SPEAKER_01
I hate love and names names and you know.
2
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
There s no metaphors.
2
SPEAKER_04
Well, can I just ask you very quickly, because I m just interested, like when you write your so-called writing your songs on the banjo, is that just from fiddling around literally for hours?
2
SPEAKER_04
Do you record them on an iPhone initially?
2
SPEAKER_04
Rough drafts or how do you record?
2
SPEAKER_01
I ll find a little piece.
2
SPEAKER_01
By the way, I know this is not that you can cut this out.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, yeah, we will.
2
SPEAKER_02
They re not even they re not even recording.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, they ve already stopped on an iPhone, you know, and once you get going in your into your process, no one s recording.
2
SPEAKER_01
And by the way, I ll keep going.
2
SPEAKER_01
Sometimes I ll do a video of my hands on the deck so I can remember how I got to that note or something.
2
SPEAKER_04
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_04
And so Marty, I ll go on this side of the zoom.
2
SPEAKER_04
Do you record things?
2
SPEAKER_04
If you think of a bit or something, something creative, do you record it on your phone and keep these memos of ideas yourself?
2
SPEAKER_02
I do that immediately.
2
SPEAKER_02
I send myself emails or texts all day.
2
SPEAKER_03
I do the exact same thing.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
Subjects.
2
SPEAKER_03
Hilarious.
2
SPEAKER_01
The only problem with parties when he when he sends himself a text, I hear the text comes in and he goes, who s this?
2
SPEAKER_04
Early onset dementia is something you have to.
2
SPEAKER_04
There s nothing to be ashamed about.
2
SPEAKER_04
No.
2
SPEAKER_01
Martin Short.
2
SPEAKER_03
Is anyone here in Mensa?
2
SPEAKER_04
So what?
2
SPEAKER_04
OK, these are general questions I have.
2
SPEAKER_04
What s Mensa?
2
SPEAKER_03
I auditioned for Mensa.
2
SPEAKER_01
Mensa is the society of geniuses.
2
SPEAKER_04
Sharon Stone, Sharon Stone is in Mensa.
2
SPEAKER_01
I always think it s based on your IQ and you get in like 140, 138 or something like that.
2
SPEAKER_01
When I hear people with high IQs, I go, yeah, but what have you done lately?
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, at least you hold no bitterness.
2
SPEAKER_04
Do you know your IQ?
2
SPEAKER_04
I don t.
2
SPEAKER_04
I have no idea.
2
SPEAKER_03
You only know it if it s high, I think.
2
SPEAKER_04
I just wanted to ask you guys this question.
2
SPEAKER_04
I don t have to force it.
3
SPEAKER_00
about an 81.
3
SPEAKER_00
Go ahead.
3
SPEAKER_03
Uh, your, if I m coming up as a comedian and like, uh, there s Richard Pryor and George Carlin and there s you guys and Robin Williams.
3
SPEAKER_03
And these are big, big influences who, who were like when you were like, who was it?
3
SPEAKER_03
Was it Danny Kaye?
3
SPEAKER_03
I don t want to, was it, was it Flip Wilson or was it contemporary?
3
SPEAKER_02
I used to be able to do Danny Kaye s face.
3
SPEAKER_02
This is his whole act.
3
SPEAKER_03
Martin is crossing his eyes.
3
SPEAKER_03
Marty just made a face that looks just like Danny Kaye.
3
SPEAKER_01
I want to go back to Mensa.
3
SPEAKER_03
Not many people are doing it.
3
SPEAKER_03
All right, let s go back to Mensa.
3
SPEAKER_01
I want to go for one second, because I had a joke and I thought, this is going to kill him.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was in the show, and it didn t work at all.
3
SPEAKER_01
And the joke was, Marty s IQ is off the charts.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s that low.
3
SPEAKER_00
It doesn t work.
3
SPEAKER_02
He ain t got nothing.
3
SPEAKER_02
Marty, well, it s like a joke.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s a like a joke.
3
SPEAKER_02
Gene Bayless would have done in 58 somewhere on the Catskills.
3
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, my my biggest influence, I d say, is Jack Benny.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I love Jerry Lewis.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think Marty loved Jerry Lewis.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
And Laurel and Hardy.
3
SPEAKER_01
I loved and Lenny Bruce.
3
SPEAKER_01
I loved.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was just reading some of his jokes.
3
SPEAKER_03
Were you an Abbott and Costello fan or as well?
3
SPEAKER_03
Meets Frankenstein?
3
SPEAKER_01
As a kid I was, but I wouldn t say that I was influenced.
3
SPEAKER_02
I would listen.
3
SPEAKER_02
My favorite was Abbott and Costello.
3
SPEAKER_02
In fact, I loved Abbott and Costello meets Frankenstein so much.
3
SPEAKER_02
But my first play that I wrote was called The Prehistoric Horror.
3
SPEAKER_02
And it was about a monster that comes back to life.
3
SPEAKER_02
And it was just ripped off from Abbott and Costello meets Frankenstein.
3
SPEAKER_02
And Jonathan Winters.
3
SPEAKER_02
And Jonathan Winters.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh, right, right, right.
3
SPEAKER_02
Jonathan Winters.
3
SPEAKER_01
We did a joke on our show that actually inspired by Abbott and Costello their lives.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because I said, I love working with Martin Short because he understands the concept of 60-40.
3
SPEAKER_01
And that s what Abbott and Costello did, because Abbott, when they first got together, insisted on taking 60% because he was the bigger star.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then when Costello became the bigger star, he got even with them by he was going to take 60%.
3
SPEAKER_03
I know someone who I think Bobby Slayton has the original screenplay or one of the original screenplays and apparently he said that it would just say A and C ad lib.
3
SPEAKER_03
There d be the lines of the other actors.
3
SPEAKER_03
And they would you just wonder why certain things pop, you know, in a movie.
3
SPEAKER_03
There was a spontaneity there.
3
SPEAKER_03
It kind of made sense to me that I ll do this.
3
SPEAKER_03
You do that.
3
SPEAKER_03
You come in.
3
SPEAKER_03
You know, I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s what it s so it s so unfortunate.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I think Laurel and Hardy got along well and they never had falling out.
3
SPEAKER_01
But Evan Costello did have a falling.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s too bad because they had all this timing and then they can t see each other off the screen.
3
SPEAKER_03
Oh, they were that they should have.
3
SPEAKER_02
They should have gone 50 50 and then they wouldn t have thought it s always about money.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s true.
3
SPEAKER_03
Do you guys go 50 50 or is it what s the breakdown?
3
SPEAKER_03
And after tax, what do you take per gig?
3
SPEAKER_02
It s a weird compromise.
3
SPEAKER_02
Steve still has to be on top.
3
SPEAKER_02
So he takes 52 to my 48.
3
SPEAKER_02
Now, it s always 50-50.
3
SPEAKER_03
It has to be.
3
SPEAKER_03
Let me ask you a question.
3
SPEAKER_03
When you guys are on, you re going to have great shows all the time.
3
SPEAKER_03
Once in a while, for all of us, we get a tired audience, a dead audience.
3
SPEAKER_03
It s not really happening.
3
SPEAKER_03
Do you call audibles in your show?
3
SPEAKER_03
Like, let s go to this bit, or you just keep smiling?
3
SPEAKER_01
The only thing we do spontaneously is nothing.
3
SPEAKER_01
Sometimes if we re playing a casino, you know, when you finish your show, a third of the audience gets up to leave, not realizing there s an encore.
3
SPEAKER_01
So we would just cut the encore and wave goodbye.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that s as wild and free as we get.
3
SPEAKER_01
But that s the only time that ever happens.
3
SPEAKER_03
Don t the casino scare you a little bit?
3
SPEAKER_03
Because I was playing a big casino with Dennis Miller and 10 minutes before we came out and it was the theater was dead empty.
3
SPEAKER_03
And Dennis goes, Christ sakes, Carvey, are we Three Dog Night now all of a sudden here?
3
SPEAKER_03
But it was because they were all drinking and then they pour in two minutes to go.
3
SPEAKER_03
But Dennis is, you know, he s supernaturally funny.
3
SPEAKER_01
Do a little more, Dennis.
3
SPEAKER_01
I can listen to impressions all day.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_03
OK, OK, Carvey, you got the big cats on the on the pod, huh?
3
SPEAKER_03
Bringing in the Martin guy, Steve.
3
SPEAKER_03
Steve Martin Short should be a singular name.
3
SPEAKER_03
That s how close these cats are, right?
3
SPEAKER_03
These guys are looking at, you know, 12, 14 large each year.
3
SPEAKER_03
You know, they ve got a castle in Spain, you know, the Lake House, North Ontario, Carvey, honest to God, you know, I m just hanging in here.
3
SPEAKER_03
I m hanging by a thread, Carm.
3
SPEAKER_03
I got a couple nickels in my pocket, but, you know, never made the big score, but it would have been kind of nice, I think.
3
SPEAKER_03
But, you know.
3
SPEAKER_01
When we re done, I want you to call me and just do that.
3
SPEAKER_03
Half hour.
3
SPEAKER_03
My IQ goes up, or my vocabulary goes up when I do Dennis.
3
SPEAKER_02
Right.
3
SPEAKER_02
I just saw Dennis and Carolyn.
3
SPEAKER_02
We saw the James Taylor and Santa Barbara Bowl last week.
3
SPEAKER_03
Is that Bowl a great place to play?
3
SPEAKER_02
How many seasons?
3
SPEAKER_02
It s fantastic.
3
SPEAKER_02
4,600 maybe?
3
SPEAKER_02
It s nice.
3
SPEAKER_03
How many?
3
4,600.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, something like that.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s fantastic.
3
SPEAKER_03
Would you shoot your next special there?
3
SPEAKER_03
Are you going to do another televised special?
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, early on in our
3
SPEAKER_01
of, you know, duo career, we would have guests come on our show.
3
SPEAKER_01
So we had David Letterman in Texas.
3
SPEAKER_01
Who else have we had?
3
SPEAKER_02
Conan came on, but also Billy came on in Santa Barbara Bowl.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s what I mean.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s what I was getting to.
3
SPEAKER_01
And it was so beautiful because, you know, Billy is all
3
SPEAKER_01
row, and there s a section where we chat and he got up when it was planned, you know, to do some of Sammy Davis Jr., which he does really well.
3
SPEAKER_01
And he was silhouetted against the spotlight.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so I m seeing this outline, a shadow outline, and it was just beautiful because he would adopt the posture of Sammy Davis Jr.
3
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, the head bowed at the hat.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was just beautiful.
3
SPEAKER_03
The jaw, everything.
3
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then Marty got up.
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t remember this part of the story.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, Marty.
3
SPEAKER_01
Why can t you be more like Billy Crystal, I said.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s true.
3
SPEAKER_01
Or maybe I thought it.
3
SPEAKER_02
I think you thought it.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know, Steve, this is David.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know, I heard that you played the Universal Amphitheater in the old days and you had the Blues Brothers open.
3
SPEAKER_00
Is that hard to follow?
3
SPEAKER_00
Is that your call?
3
SPEAKER_02
That s absolutely true.
3
SPEAKER_00
So what a fucking show that would be.
3
SPEAKER_00
My God.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I was in the audience.
3
SPEAKER_02
No way.
3
SPEAKER_00
No way.
3
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
3
1978.
3
SPEAKER_02
I could not be cooler.
3
SPEAKER_03
You re good with dates, Marty.
3
SPEAKER_03
You really have a photographic memory.
3
SPEAKER_00
I do.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re really our Mary Lou Henner of this Zoom.
3
SPEAKER_02
I ve told this joke before, but it s true.
3
SPEAKER_02
I used to think, do I have H. Sam like Mary Lou?
3
SPEAKER_02
And then I couldn t remember Henner.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m just on the Zoom for Zoom candy.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s really about Dana.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m just here for this.
3
SPEAKER_00
Look at that fucking hair today.
3
SPEAKER_00
It looks good.
3
SPEAKER_00
Guys, you all- You do have a good head of hair, David.
3
SPEAKER_00
No.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
We ll talk about it after.
3
SPEAKER_01
All three of you are very haired people.
3
SPEAKER_03
I had bangs till I was 60, and then I decided to go back.
3
SPEAKER_03
It s that thing of you, you can t have bangs.
3
SPEAKER_03
Lauren always said, I never went boyish.
3
SPEAKER_03
So he didn t have to worry about aging out of boyishness.
3
SPEAKER_03
But what does a boyish person do when they re at this kind of age?
3
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_03
I m way past 60, not quite at seven decades, but I m creeping up the ladder there.
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, Mickey, you work with Mickey.
3
SPEAKER_02
Didn t Mickey try to stay young for a long time?
3
SPEAKER_03
Mickey Rooney, I was the number one star in the world.
3
SPEAKER_03
Hear me?
3
SPEAKER_03
Bang.
3
SPEAKER_03
The world.
3
SPEAKER_03
Sorry, that s what he said every day, every 45 minutes down the hallway.
3
SPEAKER_03
Number one star.
3
SPEAKER_03
But Mickey was 62 when I worked with him.
3
SPEAKER_03
He had an incredible amount of energy and he was very, very bitter and he lived to 95.
3
SPEAKER_03
So bitterness won t kill you.
4
SPEAKER_01
And Paul Schaeffer told me that during that show, he heard Mickey on the phone screaming to one of his kids, you want to do your own thing?
4
SPEAKER_01
You know what I call it?
4
SPEAKER_01
Your own broke thing.
4
SPEAKER_02
I know Carl Reiner directed him in one of his later movies.
4
SPEAKER_02
He said, I just hated him.
4
SPEAKER_03
It was me, him, and Nathan Lane.
4
SPEAKER_03
Nathan Lane s first job, my first job, and with Mickey Rooney and Scatman Carruthers in Rockefeller Center, sixth floor.
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, wait, wait a second.
4
SPEAKER_01
When did, am I confusing the Paul Schaeffer when he worked with him?
4
SPEAKER_03
I don t know when he worked with him.
4
SPEAKER_03
Would it have been after one of the boys?
4
SPEAKER_01
It was a year at the top and then seventies.
4
SPEAKER_00
Listen, a lot of your stories aren t checking out.
4
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_03
See, he got flush.
4
SPEAKER_03
He was doing sugar babies on Broadway, getting 50,000 a week.
4
SPEAKER_03
And then the TV show, they re giving 50,000 a week and he d been broke for decades.
4
SPEAKER_03
So he always carried like five grand with him, at least in cash.
4
SPEAKER_03
And he d put it under my face and go,
4
SPEAKER_03
Think I can afford lunch?
4
SPEAKER_01
That s what I do.
4
SPEAKER_01
When I was doing the producers, guys who were in that cast had just done The Wizard of Oz with Roseanne as the witch and Mickey as the wizard.
4
SPEAKER_01
And they were on tour, and one night Mickey kind of went blank near the end when he s sending them back to Kansas.
4
SPEAKER_01
And he says, and you, Dorothy, and you, Tin Man, and you, Scarecrow, and you.
4
SPEAKER_01
He looks at the line and just goes, the bear.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m trying to think of, I have a Scatman Crothers story.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, good.
4
SPEAKER_03
I want to hear it.
4
SPEAKER_02
But I m trying to think of, you know, when I was a kid, I mean, I m 12 and Fats Domino was a big star.
4
SPEAKER_02
What was this big hit?
4
SPEAKER_02
I m blanking on it.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s like Fats Domino.
4
SPEAKER_03
It s not the Twist.
4
SPEAKER_02
Not the Twist.
4
SPEAKER_02
No, no, that s Chubby Checker.
4
SPEAKER_03
Ain t it something?
4
SPEAKER_02
Ain t it a shame?
4
SPEAKER_02
Got it.
4
SPEAKER_02
There was a record company called Tops Records, T-O-P-P-S.
4
SPEAKER_02
And what Tops Records did, if there was a hit,
4
SPEAKER_02
They d go, ain t that a shame?
4
SPEAKER_02
And you go, oh, I m going to go buy.
4
SPEAKER_02
And it s so much cheaper to buy the song from Topps Records.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then you take it home, and it s Scatman Crothers and Not Fats Domino.
4
SPEAKER_02
So you d think you d be buying Don t Walk Away, Renee by so-and-so, but it d be by somebody else.
4
SPEAKER_02
That d all be covers.
4
SPEAKER_02
And so that s my story.
4
SPEAKER_03
Well, my my scavenger store, I think I ve told it.
4
SPEAKER_03
But Jesus, that that s your story.
4
SPEAKER_00
There s more to it, right?
4
SPEAKER_00
It s my life story.
4
SPEAKER_01
And thank God that I thank God me hosting Kimmel got canceled.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
He s saving that one.
4
SPEAKER_02
You are advocating for the strike.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, Steve was going to be I was going to I was going to guest host for Jimmy and Steve was going to come on.
4
SPEAKER_03
This summer, if there wasn t a strike?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_01
I see.
4
SPEAKER_03
And what happened with the strike?
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, what s going on?
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, yeah, I mean, I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_01
Can you believe it ended quickly?
4
SPEAKER_00
We have three different endings.
4
SPEAKER_00
Can you believe it s still going?
4
SPEAKER_01
Aren t you glad it ended?
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, I like Dana that at the 40th anniversary that a we all got to be there.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I like Steve that you you did King Tut, even if it was just quickly.
4
SPEAKER_02
Well, I look at that, I m so embarrassed by it because, you know, I I wore my glasses.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, during King Tut?
4
SPEAKER_02
I didn t really get into it, so I sort of put on the outfit and went like this a little bit, but I got my glasses, and I thought, well, maybe it s working in sort of the bad version of it rather than really committing.
4
SPEAKER_03
How hard on are you on yourself, both of you guys, in terms of any, like I, I ll have podcast regret, like later today I ll go, I shouldn t have said that, why was I interrupting, you know?
4
SPEAKER_03
Are you guys hard on yourselves?
4
SPEAKER_02
Marty loves himself.
4
SPEAKER_03
That s what my therapist told me, be like Marty.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m more critical, but it s not that I m not critical, I know we do a good job, I don t think that, you just kind of,
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I don t know why.
4
SPEAKER_03
I think you need that.
4
SPEAKER_03
Marty.
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, I m I m just not as hard as I, you know, my tendency is to over prepare for things, do the best I can, and then when it doesn t work out, I kind of go, well, you know, I don t I don t beat myself up.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t I don t beat myself.
4
SPEAKER_02
No, I don t think so.
4
SPEAKER_02
But we worry things.
4
SPEAKER_02
We work on it.
4
SPEAKER_01
We certainly both work.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, Steve is very conscientious.
4
SPEAKER_01
And if we do a talk show, we re talking about a month in advance.
4
SPEAKER_01
And that s why he s Steve.
4
SPEAKER_03
Well, I think we all know when something really works where there s no second guessing at all, like that was a home run.
4
SPEAKER_03
And you just want to feel that as much as possible, but 80% can be good too.
4
SPEAKER_03
I was going to, about Steve and talk shows, Flydini just popped into my head.
4
SPEAKER_03
A couple hours ago I said, okay, that s an example of who else would do that?
4
SPEAKER_03
Who would commit to it?
4
SPEAKER_03
How did you think of pulling things out of your crotch on the tonight show?
4
SPEAKER_02
I ll tell you.
4
SPEAKER_02
I ll tell you.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s not too long a story, but I was talking to Carl Reiner one time and he said, I just came back from Paris and I saw the Folly Bergere show.
4
SPEAKER_02
And there was a comedian who came out, and the curtains open, and he s a little man, and he s standing next to a table with 500 dinner plates on it.
4
SPEAKER_02
And he said, I m thinking, what is this act?
4
SPEAKER_02
And so the little man starts singing.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s hard to do on a podcast.
4
SPEAKER_02
He goes, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da
4
SPEAKER_02
And I thought, that to me sounds really funny.
4
SPEAKER_02
I need five minutes, because people would call me and say, I had just come off this stand-up career that I didn t even do anymore, and I didn t have five minutes.
4
SPEAKER_02
So I thought of Flydini, because it came from an old magic thing where a magician would come out with a top hat, and it would produce a million things from the top hat.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I just said, what if it came out on my fly?
4
SPEAKER_02
We thought of doing it in our show, but the preparation is so elaborate.
4
SPEAKER_02
I d have to come in at noon.
4
SPEAKER_01
Didn t it take you five weeks to prep that?
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I did it.
4
SPEAKER_02
I took it down to the Magic Castle to work it, then I went to Atlantic City to work it.
4
SPEAKER_02
It took a lot of practice.
4
SPEAKER_00
Before, where did you do it, Carson?
4
SPEAKER_02
He did a last week or so of Carson.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I remember fighting, but he requested it.
4
SPEAKER_00
But you made, you guys made me work hard on panel because it was, uh, or as people know, talk shows because always funny, always solid.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I don t think people realize how much goes into it.
4
SPEAKER_00
And so every time I would do it, I would at least really try, even if it didn t always work, but it is definitely a different muscle.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, you guys extenuated the art form.
4
SPEAKER_03
I mean, Charles Grodin also did kind of something very, very unique and extremely funny.
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God, yes.
4
SPEAKER_02
And Bob Einstein, too.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yes, yes.
4
SPEAKER_02
My fantasy is to go on a talk show and have nothing prepared.
4
SPEAKER_02
I think I could do it.
4
SPEAKER_02
I think I could do it.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m sure you could.
4
SPEAKER_01
It wouldn t be any good.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, look how good I am right now.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Tell that one story about the thing.
4
SPEAKER_00
But no one thinks that it s no one thinks anything is prepared.
4
SPEAKER_00
So when you ask a normal person, that s right.
4
SPEAKER_00
I like when you go on Ellen and you were talking about your car accident.
4
SPEAKER_00
I go, why do you think she asked me about my dog and then a car accident?
4
SPEAKER_00
And then if I saw a bird recently.
4
SPEAKER_02
I always like the coincidence.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I was really good at it.
4
SPEAKER_02
You know, I think somebody I kept it was maybe J. Let me go.
4
SPEAKER_02
Someone was telling me that, you know.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like, yeah, your publicist.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, my publicist.
4
SPEAKER_03
Would Carson really say a little birdie told me is or is that just something that impressionists made up?
4
SPEAKER_03
Or did you actually go a little birdie told me that you are you re trying to buy a new car?
4
SPEAKER_03
You know, would we say a little birdie told me?
4
SPEAKER_02
might have said that, but I don t, I don t associate with that.
4
SPEAKER_03
He was like Rona Barrett.
5
SPEAKER_02
me that you went to France recently.
5
SPEAKER_03
That s the funniest SNL of all, when you re playing Carson confused and you say to Ed, Phil, you say to Ed, now Ed, people say that we were once
5
SPEAKER_03
about hotter and more on top of it than we are.
5
SPEAKER_03
And it s something like that.
5
SPEAKER_03
And he says, yes, peaked in the 70s.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_01
Phil made Phil was just a laugh button as Ed McMahon.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like, I could just go on as Johnny and just be where you re at home watching a television.
5
SPEAKER_01
And
5
SPEAKER_01
Just dust your jaw there, you know.
5
SPEAKER_01
We re getting old, sir.
5
SPEAKER_01
Old reference, lost on younger viewers.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Because it was a reference to World War II or something.
5
SPEAKER_01
But what do you guys think Carson s, you know, he s been talked about so much, but for you as guests, Destroying, I mean, the Bette Davis one is famous on YouTube, you know,
5
SPEAKER_01
What do you think his thing was?
5
SPEAKER_01
And you knew him too, outside the show business.
5
SPEAKER_02
I would tell him, Marty, I have an epitaph for him, for his tombstone.
5
SPEAKER_02
It would say, here lies Martin Short and his references no one got anymore.
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, Betty Dave, I run out of them.
5
SPEAKER_01
I can t.
5
SPEAKER_01
You can t do Cary Grant anymore.
5
SPEAKER_03
No, you can t.
5
SPEAKER_03
You can t do Clark Gable.
5
SPEAKER_03
One time, Paul Letterman, like last year.
5
SPEAKER_03
And he said he said, you know, but Paul and we have a big movie star, Paul, who do you think is a big movie star?
5
SPEAKER_03
And Paul was discombobulated and he was thinking it was Clark Gable.
5
SPEAKER_03
And he goes, Clark Gable, Clark Gable.
5
SPEAKER_03
That s as current as you re going for.
5
SPEAKER_03
Whose impersonation that you do that is the newest that the kids would get?
5
SPEAKER_01
That the new newest, I m still the only ones you can really do are the political ones.
5
SPEAKER_01
Biden and I just have a new Trump where what if Trump went woke?
5
SPEAKER_01
Let s hear that.
5
SPEAKER_01
You got to be able to say anybody should be able to say they re gay.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t care if you re three, four years old.
5
SPEAKER_01
You say it.
5
SPEAKER_01
You say it proud.
5
SPEAKER_01
I ve got to tell you, we re going to be doing a lot of things.
5
SPEAKER_01
We re going to have a very diverse cabinet that I can promise you that I could tell you.
5
SPEAKER_01
And we know how to do it.
5
SPEAKER_01
And we re going to do it.
5
SPEAKER_01
And they can t stop us.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s what they re saying.
5
SPEAKER_01
And they know he is just the greatest that not really saying anything.
5
SPEAKER_01
He never runs into a ditch.
5
SPEAKER_01
He s always like, we re going to do it.
5
SPEAKER_01
We got to do it.
5
SPEAKER_01
They said we can t, but we know how to do it.
5
SPEAKER_01
And many people are doing you re going to see it soon and you re going to be happy.
5
SPEAKER_01
He s an amazing jazz artist that way.
5
SPEAKER_03
It is that kind of New York or Regis voice.
5
SPEAKER_03
It s Queens.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s Regis and Brando in specific.
5
SPEAKER_01
But Regis is another guy who I just honest to God, I just feel happy when I m doing impressions because you guys.
5
SPEAKER_01
I love it.
5
SPEAKER_00
I love it.
5
SPEAKER_01
But I love being with Regis.
5
SPEAKER_01
And what I do this is you re very nice, honest to God.
5
SPEAKER_01
You re some of the funniest people America s ever produced.
5
SPEAKER_01
There they are.
5
SPEAKER_01
The great Canadian Martin Short, who could beat him?
5
SPEAKER_01
And Steve Martin.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s just I smile every time I see it.
5
SPEAKER_01
There was such a charm to Regis.
5
SPEAKER_03
It s oh, he was so lovely.
5
SPEAKER_03
And we used to go to dinners with he enjoy.
5
SPEAKER_03
Hmm.
5
SPEAKER_03
at Fiorello s.
5
SPEAKER_02
Tell us, you know what?
5
SPEAKER_02
Tell him about the the New Year s party you you went to at his house.
5
SPEAKER_03
Oh, no, no, no.
5
SPEAKER_03
I was going to a party at your dinner party, your house.
5
SPEAKER_03
But he was having a New Year s party.
5
SPEAKER_03
And so I thought we would get there like five to seven.
5
SPEAKER_03
And the doorbell rings.
5
SPEAKER_03
His head doesn t have his jacket on.
5
SPEAKER_03
He says, you re five minutes early.
5
SPEAKER_03
Where are you going next?
5
SPEAKER_03
He knew he was just fun and lovely.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, he was.
5
SPEAKER_03
Just a great, great guy.
5
SPEAKER_03
And authentic.
5
SPEAKER_02
I saw him on the Joey Bishop show.
5
SPEAKER_03
Jesus.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yes, I did too.
5
SPEAKER_02
It was a television show, and he was Regis, and Joey was always putting him down.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_02
Always, you know, like being snide.
5
SPEAKER_02
And Regis showed him.
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, Regis told me this story.
5
SPEAKER_01
Who was the other guest, Mannix?
5
SPEAKER_03
Something like that.
5
SPEAKER_01
Regis was a crooner, you know, and so on the Joey Bishop show, for whatever reason, he got up and sang a couple songs and someone at some record company gave Regis a deal.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like, we want to make an album with you, Regis.
5
SPEAKER_01
So Regis went in to tell Joey Bishop, could you believe it?
5
SPEAKER_01
They want to do a thing with me.
5
SPEAKER_01
And Regis is telling me the story.
5
SPEAKER_01
He said, Joey Bishop just said to him, that s not true.
5
SPEAKER_01
That never happened.
5
SPEAKER_01
No, you don t have a record deal.
5
SPEAKER_01
Just his ego was so tweaked.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
I can t do a Joey, Joey Bishop.
5
SPEAKER_01
No kidding.
5
SPEAKER_01
And yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And Eddie Bishop, that motherfucker.
5
SPEAKER_02
You should, Marty, we should have more bitterness now.
5
SPEAKER_02
You can work on that.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m more bitter than I swear.
5
SPEAKER_01
I refer to you guys a lot as like, why I m still going, because now I see you guys on top of your game.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it is kind of cool, right?
5
SPEAKER_01
I was going to, you know, the show Only Murders in the Building, like this great hit show all of a sudden, and you re touring.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, you re kind of on fire.
5
SPEAKER_01
What s going on in your age group?
5
SPEAKER_03
Well, we were always touring for a long time.
5
SPEAKER_03
But the show is, again, you know, co-created
5
SPEAKER_03
created by Steve.
5
SPEAKER_02
You mean the murders in the building, but that has a little heat on us, but we know heat is transitory.
5
SPEAKER_01
That was one of Lauren s big thing.
5
SPEAKER_01
The minute you re hot, you can feel yourself being less hot.
5
SPEAKER_02
I know.
5
SPEAKER_02
I think I can share this Tom Hanks story.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s his story.
5
SPEAKER_02
He was in the 80s and he was doing Letterman, as a matter of fact, and Tony Randall.
5
SPEAKER_02
was on the show too, and Tony Randall came up to him and said, you re very hot right now.
5
SPEAKER_02
You re very hot.
5
SPEAKER_02
And Tom makes this courteous, well, thank you.
5
SPEAKER_02
And Tony said, it doesn t last.
5
SPEAKER_02
Whoa.
5
SPEAKER_01
With a little sing song.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I like Tony Randall.
5
SPEAKER_02
I liked him a lot, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he was a big Letterman guy, right?
5
SPEAKER_00
Tony Randall.
5
SPEAKER_01
Tony Randall.
5
SPEAKER_01
Should we talk a little bit about SNL and your guys  relationship with it?
5
SPEAKER_01
You know, Martin Short, I don t know if we talked about it when you were on, but just the sort of all-star year you had with Billy and everybody.
5
SPEAKER_01
It was kind of, it s a very, it s an outlier sort of one year with that cast, crushed it and then dissipated.
5
SPEAKER_01
Do you?
5
SPEAKER_01
You ve been asked about that, I m sure.
5
SPEAKER_01
But it s something we haven t really talked about on this SNL themed podcast.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, right.
5
SPEAKER_03
Well, we had.
5
SPEAKER_03
Hold on, I m getting.
5
SPEAKER_00
Steve s giving you your jokes.
5
SPEAKER_03
Oh, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_03
No, no.
5
SPEAKER_03
We had a one year contract, Billy and Chris and myself.
5
SPEAKER_03
And Harry.
5
SPEAKER_03
And maybe Rich Hall.
5
SPEAKER_03
Very sure.
5
SPEAKER_03
Rich Hall.
5
SPEAKER_03
And we all had one-year contracts.
5
SPEAKER_03
And to me, I still have a pro and con list of doing SNL, of why I should do it and why I shouldn t do it.
5
SPEAKER_03
But it was an intense year.
5
SPEAKER_03
And I always wish that I d been committed a little longer so I would have, because I was treating like every night, every show was a special.
5
SPEAKER_03
And how much was I in it?
5
SPEAKER_03
I never really relaxed throughout the year.
5
SPEAKER_01
And when you come back and guest host, you seem like the most relaxed person.
5
SPEAKER_03
Well, yeah, then it s just kind of OK.
5
SPEAKER_03
And I ve done a lot of cameos where I just show up for the air show.
5
SPEAKER_03
They re always funny.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that s nice.
5
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
5
SPEAKER_01
All the energy goes right to the thing.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
So, Steve,
5
SPEAKER_01
There s too much to say about you.
5
SPEAKER_01
You re 15 hosting, or what are you at, 18?
5
SPEAKER_01
You and Blake are 16.
5
SPEAKER_01
I think it s 16, but I go back to 76.
5
SPEAKER_01
I saw them.
5
SPEAKER_01
I think I saw all of them.
5
SPEAKER_02
Alec Baldwin did his 16 hostings or 17 in like two years.
5
SPEAKER_00
He was my third show.
5
SPEAKER_00
His first show is my third show.
5
SPEAKER_00
So yeah, he was probably 90 was his first one.
5
SPEAKER_02
I think Alec Baldwin was great on the show.
5
SPEAKER_02
He does voices.
5
SPEAKER_02
That s characters.
5
SPEAKER_02
He s funny.
5
SPEAKER_00
Perfect.
5
SPEAKER_01
Perfect.
5
SPEAKER_01
When he came in as a full blown movie star, you know, obviously incredibly handsome.
5
SPEAKER_01
and just rehearsing.
5
SPEAKER_02
Are you talking about me right now?
5
SPEAKER_01
This was about David.
5
SPEAKER_02
No, no, no, Alec Baldwin.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, Alec Baldwin.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, sorry.
5
SPEAKER_01
And no one would have ever said this to me.
5
SPEAKER_01
We were just in a rehearsal and I go, well, how are you doing?
5
SPEAKER_01
He s had all these movie offers.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I don t want to do those.
5
SPEAKER_01
I want to do this.
5
SPEAKER_01
And he had done a bunch of movies and he s on his path to movies.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s so interesting.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then he goes on and he s this brilliant sketch player and incredibly fun.
5
SPEAKER_02
That s what s fantastic.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
That was the twist.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s like, oh, he really knows how to do this.
6
SPEAKER_02
Our last hosting, Marty and I did, well, it was the only time we ever hosted together, really.
6
SPEAKER_02
It was last Christmas.
6
SPEAKER_02
And it went over well.
6
SPEAKER_02
We were very happy with it, and the monologue played great.
6
SPEAKER_02
And I said to Marty, you know, Marty, that was a hit, that was good.
6
SPEAKER_02
And they might, because it was a hit, ask us to do it again next year.
6
SPEAKER_02
And before, if and when they ask, and before you say yes, just remember, we worked on our monologue for three years.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s true.
6
SPEAKER_00
Highest rated show of the year, Dana.
6
SPEAKER_01
I think we read that or lauren told us i think lord told me and then and then and then i ll be steven marty come in and it s like the highest rated show of the year.
6
SPEAKER_03
And then it s that thing where you say so.
6
SPEAKER_03
What have we learned?
6
SPEAKER_01
Do you guys have favorite Lorne quotes?
6
SPEAKER_01
Because he s famous on the podcast.
6
SPEAKER_01
He s beloved.
6
SPEAKER_01
Even cast members who may have had some dysfunction on the show or left it a little early as time goes on, love Lorne.
6
SPEAKER_01
And really, a lot of people wish they d stayed longer, you know?
6
SPEAKER_01
Because of just... But anyway, he s an enigmatic character.
6
SPEAKER_01
He s the one and only Lorne Michaels.
6
SPEAKER_01
And you two are two of his very, very best friends.
6
SPEAKER_01
So what s the inside scoop?
6
SPEAKER_03
You know, Lauren, I just I just think of Lauren.
6
SPEAKER_03
I remember going to his apartment in May of 84 to discuss three amigos, 88, but also to discuss, you know, the possibility of what if he went back to SNL and what if I also did went back, even though I did.
6
SPEAKER_03
And finally, I said, well, Lauren, how would I don t understand how would I
6
SPEAKER_03
do another season of SNL and shoot a Western.
6
SPEAKER_03
And you said, it s called scheduling.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s been very, very Lauren.
6
SPEAKER_01
God, if you d gone on, we could have been on the show together, Marty, if you ve been true, that would have been born as a, you know, he, he, he, he can be.
6
SPEAKER_02
effortless with any type of person, whether you re comedians, he can be effortless with up big business people.
6
SPEAKER_02
He knows how to get along with them and talk to them.
6
SPEAKER_02
I wouldn t, you know, I wouldn t.
6
SPEAKER_01
Well, the qualities that he has that lends itself to the job that he has is that he has so many gears and he has an incredibly hard spastic laugh.
6
SPEAKER_01
Cause you would think of him as the image of being erudite, but as a laugher, he s like, when he laughs, it s hard.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s really a thrill to make him laugh.
6
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_03
I think of him as a very joyful person.
6
SPEAKER_01
I do too, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
I think he loves, yeah, he loves his life.
6
SPEAKER_01
And it s such a great life.
6
SPEAKER_01
And being introduced to it, the house on Long Island, his incredible apartment, and, you know, Paul Simon s your best friend.
6
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it was just seemed like a magic.
6
SPEAKER_02
He taught me so much about life.
6
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I m in the 70s, late 70s.
6
SPEAKER_02
And he d say, hey, we re going to Venice.
6
SPEAKER_02
Would you like to go?
6
SPEAKER_02
And I go, why?
6
SPEAKER_02
And he said, well, it s a vacation.
6
SPEAKER_02
I said, well, vacation?
6
SPEAKER_02
So anyway, I end up going.
6
SPEAKER_02
And I m enjoying myself.
6
SPEAKER_02
And then we go to lunch on the canal in Venice.
6
SPEAKER_02
And the lunch lasts 2 and 1⁄2 hours.
6
SPEAKER_02
And I thought, I would have never done this in my, I would eat in 20 minutes and be out the door.
6
SPEAKER_02
And here, this is so much fun, just sitting here talking and laughing.
6
SPEAKER_02
And he introduced me to being sociable.
6
SPEAKER_03
Oh, so is it because of Lauren that you re so like really loose now?
6
SPEAKER_02
Mr. Casual.
6
SPEAKER_00
Dan, I have a question for these guys.
6
SPEAKER_00
I know we got to wrap it up soon, but I having a fucking blast.
6
SPEAKER_00
Steve, I have to ask.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think I m guessing you both were close or knew John Candy and in planes, trains.
6
SPEAKER_00
John Candy s Beloved, Forever and Ever, one of the greats, I think you ll agree.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
When Planes, Trains, does that come written funny and written for you too, or is one of you guys attached?
6
SPEAKER_02
First of all, the script was fantastic.
6
SPEAKER_02
It was written by John Hughes.
6
SPEAKER_02
Supposedly he wrote it over a weekend.
6
SPEAKER_02
And when I got the script, I think it was 152 pages long.
6
SPEAKER_02
And a normal script is maybe 110 or 112.
6
SPEAKER_02
So I said to him, God, the script s so good, John.
6
SPEAKER_02
Congratulations.
6
SPEAKER_02
What are you going to cut?
6
SPEAKER_02
And he said, cut?
6
SPEAKER_02
And the first draft of the film came in at four and a half hours.
6
SPEAKER_02
But anyway, then he encouraged John and I to ad-lib.
6
SPEAKER_02
And like, there s a lot of ad-lib scenes, like in the motel room, we re kind of giggling and laughing.
6
SPEAKER_02
And then some jokes we just made up, like, those aren t pillows, it was made up on the set.
6
SPEAKER_01
Really?
6
SPEAKER_01
That s kind of the, that s the line of the- Fake trailer line too, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, those aren t pillows.
6
SPEAKER_02
He was so sweet and we got along so great.
6
SPEAKER_02
In fact, we made a deal at some point about three weeks in, we said, we d ad-lib a scene and then they d have to cover the ad-lib.
6
SPEAKER_02
So a scene that might take an hour was now starting to take three hours.
6
SPEAKER_02
And we said, we made a deal, no more ad-libbing.
6
SPEAKER_02
We re not going to ad-lib anymore.
6
SPEAKER_02
But he would make me laugh so much.
6
SPEAKER_02
He would do a gladiator movie.
6
SPEAKER_02
like an Italian dubbed gladiator movie where he would, he would say the line in Italian and then his lips would keep moving like it was done.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
He was before they were Queens in 30.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then his lips would move.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_03
No, John was, uh, John was an angel.
6
SPEAKER_03
I can still see John walk in this door right now.
6
SPEAKER_03
That s what a strong,
6
SPEAKER_02
And he had a great laugh.
6
SPEAKER_02
He loved to laugh.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that s good.
6
SPEAKER_02
That s good.
6
SPEAKER_01
That was a good phase he did.
6
SPEAKER_01
The pathos that he in, uh, playing trains at automobile.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
He really, that moment when at the end, I mean, he s world-class kind of silent film.
6
SPEAKER_02
Absolutely.
6
SPEAKER_01
It was just a great act.
6
SPEAKER_02
There was a scene in the movie that took place at the end that was trimmed down.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s where he tells me his wife, I want to do spoilers, but it s 40 years later.
6
SPEAKER_01
You re OK.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s on Amazon.
6
SPEAKER_01
You can order it.
6
SPEAKER_02
But anyway, I was I was two feet across from him doing the off screen.
6
SPEAKER_02
I thought I m seeing one of the great performances I ve ever seen.
6
SPEAKER_02
with his speech.
6
SPEAKER_02
I got to be there.
6
SPEAKER_01
Of course.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s why SCTV had such an all-star superstar.
6
SPEAKER_01
Who was your gang there?
6
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it was- Mike.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, it was everyone.
6
SPEAKER_03
Andrea Martin, Eugene Levy, Catherine O Hara, Dave Thomas, Joe Flaherty, Rick Moranis.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s back when you could do a show with only seven people.
6
SPEAKER_00
You don t need 30.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s true.
6
SPEAKER_01
Eugene Levy is now doing a travel show.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s it s really fun.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
Is it true that he just never wanted to travel?
6
SPEAKER_01
But go ahead.
6
SPEAKER_02
That whole group is astounding.
6
SPEAKER_02
You can t believe that it all happened.
6
SPEAKER_02
And every one of the well, SCTV or the Andrea Martin, you know, is in our season three.
6
SPEAKER_03
She plays Steve s love interest.
6
SPEAKER_01
What about Marion Strobner?
6
SPEAKER_01
There s someone else who s a guest star.
6
SPEAKER_03
Meryl Streitman.
6
SPEAKER_01
Meryl Streitman.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yes, yes, yes.
6
SPEAKER_01
From out of Africa with Redford.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
So you ve got Andrea Martin coming out in season three, August 8th, Only Murders in the Building.
6
SPEAKER_01
Meryl Streitman.
6
SPEAKER_01
Meryl Streitman.
6
SPEAKER_01
Pete Rudler, Pete Rudler?
6
SPEAKER_01
No, Paul Rudd.
6
SPEAKER_01
Paul Rudd, okay, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m not good with the names, but I... I think it s Paul Ruddman.
6
SPEAKER_03
Paul Ruddman.
6
SPEAKER_03
Tina Feisting.
6
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, she s on.
6
SPEAKER_01
Tina, yeah, Tina Feisting is great.
6
SPEAKER_02
What is, I should know, but what is Selena s last name?
6
SPEAKER_02
Gomez.
6
SPEAKER_01
Gunther.
6
SPEAKER_03
Selina Glickman, Glickstein.
6
SPEAKER_01
Wait a minute, Jiminy Glick, can we have five seconds of Jiminy Glick?
6
SPEAKER_01
I mean, that character is awesome.
6
SPEAKER_03
I m so excited to be with you three, who I don t really recognize.
6
SPEAKER_01
I love when he went to the whispery kind of high part.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, when it s incredibly cutting.
6
SPEAKER_01
So he couldn t hear anymore.
6
SPEAKER_03
You know, the first time David Spade jumping around was on Johnny Carson.
6
SPEAKER_03
I was on.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s right.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s right.
6
SPEAKER_00
He was.
7
SPEAKER_02
What do you mean about his memory?
7
SPEAKER_02
It s uncanny.
7
SPEAKER_02
I couldn t tell you who I was on with.
7
SPEAKER_01
Well, because I m more open to people and things.
7
SPEAKER_00
Was that when I was on with you?
7
SPEAKER_00
When I was on, Steve, it was two months before he quit and retired, quit.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I got my six minutes together, and when I went out there, Jim McCauley, I ve told this story, but Jim McCauley was the booker.
7
SPEAKER_00
Steve, you might remember him.
7
SPEAKER_00
Maybe you didn t deal with him, but for us new guys.
7
SPEAKER_00
And he goes, you go out there, you do your jokes, there s a little dot, you say it, and you get the fuck out of there.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I go, well, what if Johnny says come over, because I heard something.
7
SPEAKER_00
And he goes, he s not.
7
SPEAKER_00
just turn around and come back to me like a puppy.
7
SPEAKER_00
Right.
7
SPEAKER_02
So I go, wait, that was a myth that I think maybe it happened once that Johnny invited somebody over and it got this legendary thing that you get invited over or not.
7
SPEAKER_02
It was always planned.
7
SPEAKER_02
I always knew if I was doing panel or not.
7
SPEAKER_02
I always knew that.
7
SPEAKER_03
So Johnny knew ahead of time when Drew Carey came over, he knew he was going to have him over.
7
SPEAKER_02
Well, I believe so.
7
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I m just guessing from my experience, but it wasn t spontaneous like that because you had to have material.
7
SPEAKER_00
Well, I think, yeah, I think you would say, here s my act.
7
SPEAKER_00
And then you go, here s two extra jokes.
7
SPEAKER_00
maybe in case you go over, like he has some card that gets to say, you know, I heard you recently bought a new car.
7
SPEAKER_00
So that s, I would believe that.
7
SPEAKER_00
I was so new, I didn t know anything.
7
SPEAKER_00
I just knew that that was the rumor.
7
SPEAKER_00
And then you also, once you sit down, within five seconds, you get your own sitcom.
7
SPEAKER_00
So I thought, oh, I guess that s what you wanna do is get blown up.
7
SPEAKER_00
So I go up, do my stuff.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I turned to leave and Johnny s there with Martin and Ed, I think.
7
SPEAKER_00
And one of you guys said, oh, he s good.
7
SPEAKER_00
And have him come over.
7
SPEAKER_00
And then I just left.
7
SPEAKER_00
And he goes, Johnny goes, he s too nervous to look over.
7
SPEAKER_00
He s not looking.
7
SPEAKER_00
Okay, well.
7
SPEAKER_00
And then I get backstage and Jim McCauley goes, what the fuck?
7
SPEAKER_00
He wanted you to come over.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I go, you told me not to.
7
SPEAKER_00
You told me to go back in the curtain.
7
SPEAKER_00
I didn t want to get in trouble.
7
SPEAKER_02
And then he goes, I guess I m wrong then.
7
SPEAKER_02
giving evidence that well i think martin was helping here s how great johnny carson was and i ll give an example because i was on with merv griffin by the way it was the loveliest guy in the world sweetheart guy
7
SPEAKER_02
but didn t have the comic timing of Johnny Carson.
7
SPEAKER_02
So I m a young comedian, and I have one bit where I say, gee, I just bought a new car, a 65 Greyhound bus.
7
SPEAKER_02
I put a new dog on the side.
7
SPEAKER_02
That s kind of the bit it goes on.
7
SPEAKER_02
That was going to be my panel.
7
SPEAKER_02
So he says, I hear you bought a new car.
7
SPEAKER_02
I said, yes, I just bought a new car.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s a 65 Greyhound bus.
7
SPEAKER_02
And he says, now, why on earth?
7
SPEAKER_02
Would you buy a 65 Greyhound bus?
7
SPEAKER_02
And I m dead.
7
SPEAKER_02
You know, I can t say, well, I put a new dog on the side.
7
SPEAKER_00
You know, it s funny, when I did my first one, I had a car bit.
7
SPEAKER_00
Martin, what were your favorite five jokes I did on that set when you were there?
7
SPEAKER_01
No, when I was there, so Steve, I said, I said, it wasn t a joke, but it was like, you were capturing a whole theme in a group because you kept saying,
7
SPEAKER_01
OK, who likes dating?
7
SPEAKER_01
That s right.
7
SPEAKER_00
Steve, I d say my first joke is I got a new car.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s not really new.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s an old UPS truck.
7
SPEAKER_00
I got it so I can park wherever I want.
7
SPEAKER_00
That wasn t bad for being very new.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I think I did it.
7
SPEAKER_00
And Johnny told me later it was a real rib tickler.
7
SPEAKER_01
A rib tickler?
7
SPEAKER_00
No, he didn t.
7
SPEAKER_00
But when he came backstage afterwards, he knocked on my door to say, good job or something.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I had my shirt off.
7
SPEAKER_00
I was so scared.
7
SPEAKER_00
I was changing.
7
SPEAKER_00
And then I had Pepto-Bismol in my hand.
7
SPEAKER_00
And he said, Pepto-Bismol, I don t touch the stuff anymore.
7
SPEAKER_00
He said some joke about it.
7
SPEAKER_00
And then he walked away.
7
SPEAKER_00
But very nice to come back and say, good job.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that is nice.
7
SPEAKER_03
Very Johnny.
7
SPEAKER_03
Didn t Johnny have a double blink and a double pencil tap as also an affirmation?
7
SPEAKER_03
You know, they cut him after the community to a double blink with his eyes and tap a couple of times.
7
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
7
SPEAKER_01
Maybe I watch too much.
7
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
7
SPEAKER_01
It sounds funny.
7
SPEAKER_01
Maybe.
7
SPEAKER_03
Christ sakes, Carvey, one of you looks like the Zap Bruder film there, looking at all the pictures of Johnny.
7
SPEAKER_03
Okay, you know.
7
SPEAKER_03
So you guys, early on, what was the best compliment you ever got?
7
SPEAKER_03
Because I got a great compliment from Steve at one point, and then a really nice email from Marty that was meant a lot to me.
7
SPEAKER_02
What did I say?
7
SPEAKER_03
You, as I remember very specifically, was just ran into the hall.
7
SPEAKER_03
I had been doing Regis for a while and you just stopped me and you said, yeah, you re Regis.
7
SPEAKER_03
It s like at a genius level or something, something very, very nice.
7
SPEAKER_03
So I never forgot that.
7
SPEAKER_03
And Marty was such a kind man.
7
SPEAKER_00
You forgot it.
7
SPEAKER_03
After the 40th,
7
SPEAKER_03
Uh, the Wayne and Garth sketch went really well and you just sent me a very nice note about that.
7
SPEAKER_03
So you remember those things.
7
SPEAKER_03
So I just wonder, you guys at various times in your career, someone, like I found out once as an example that Gene Kelly was a huge fan of mine when I was doing George Bush Sr.
7
SPEAKER_03
That was weird.
7
SPEAKER_03
So you guys must have had stuff like that.
7
SPEAKER_02
I had one, I had one, it s oblique, but I was doing the Tonight Show very early on, it was like 1973, something like that.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I m in the makeup chair, and the makeup, you know, in those days, your makeup was like inch thick.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, crazy, analog television.
7
SPEAKER_00
Adjusting your arrow.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, your color would be completely changed.
7
SPEAKER_02
Anyway, so the makeup guy said,
7
SPEAKER_02
Uh, Jack Benny likes you.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I said, what?
7
SPEAKER_02
How do you know that?
7
SPEAKER_02
He says, well, he mentioned he was here in the chair last week and he mentioned you.
7
SPEAKER_02
I said, how does he even know who I am?
7
SPEAKER_02
Cause I just really hadn t been around, but it was a real compliment.
7
SPEAKER_03
Wow.
7
SPEAKER_03
That s surreal.
7
SPEAKER_02
He s my, you know, my hero.
7
SPEAKER_03
What was it just his timing and his, um, Oh, his rhythm.
7
SPEAKER_03
I mean, he s brilliant.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
I don t know about timing.
7
SPEAKER_02
I don t even know what that is.
7
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
7
SPEAKER_02
I just, his jokes, even if it was old radio show, the jokes are still so funny.
7
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I try to repeat them and they don t land, but wow.
7
SPEAKER_02
I won t go into it.
7
SPEAKER_01
Don t do it, Steve.
7
SPEAKER_01
Please.
7
SPEAKER_01
And they ll just cut it out.
7
SPEAKER_01
I know they will.
7
SPEAKER_03
I heard he was the least jealous comedian.
7
SPEAKER_03
Like if someone was killing, Jack would be.
7
SPEAKER_03
Isn t he great?
7
SPEAKER_03
Isn t he wonderful?
7
SPEAKER_02
That was important that he, everybody on his show was really funny from Mel Blanc to Dennis Day.
7
SPEAKER_02
And he, I think he, I always read, he understood that it s his show.
7
SPEAKER_02
So if somebody else is getting laughs, that s fine.
7
SPEAKER_03
It s good for the show.
7
SPEAKER_03
Marty, did you ever have, did you ever meet Jerry?
7
SPEAKER_03
Well, you must ve run into Jerry Lewis.
7
SPEAKER_01
No, I met, well, I met Elizabeth Taylor who said, oh, I m a,
7
SPEAKER_01
Big Clifford freak.
7
SPEAKER_01
Clifford Clifford, 10 year old boy.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
And then I when I was introduced to Sinatra by Dinah Shore.
7
SPEAKER_01
Oh, boy.
7
SPEAKER_01
Now, Paul Shaffer maintains I made this up.
7
SPEAKER_01
I ve made this up, but I didn t.
7
SPEAKER_01
All right.
7
SPEAKER_01
But, um, he s Paul says he doesn t speak in guys and dolls speak.
7
SPEAKER_01
You re making this up.
7
SPEAKER_01
But what Frank, when I, I said, uh, Don short said, this is Marty Chorney s kid.
7
SPEAKER_03
I know well of you when you re marvelous.
7
SPEAKER_01
I know well of you.
7
SPEAKER_01
Paul isn t buying.
7
SPEAKER_03
Oh, marvelous is never used enough anymore.
7
SPEAKER_03
I m going to try to start using.
7
SPEAKER_01
I know well of you.
7
SPEAKER_01
I didn t say I know well of you.
7
SPEAKER_01
That s out of guys and dolls.
7
SPEAKER_00
Steve, can you still do a balloon animal?
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I can t even blow them up.
7
SPEAKER_02
You don t even know how hard it is to blow up one of those balloons.
7
SPEAKER_00
It is hard.
7
SPEAKER_02
It takes lung power.
7
SPEAKER_02
When I was doing it, you know, finally, after night after night, I could blow them up.
7
SPEAKER_00
Is that why they stretch them like that while they re talking?
7
SPEAKER_02
That s a talent.
7
SPEAKER_02
Go ahead, what?
7
SPEAKER_00
When you re talking with the balloon, you kind of stretch it while you re talking, getting ready for the trick.
7
SPEAKER_02
How do you do that?
7
SPEAKER_00
That s not enough.
7
SPEAKER_00
You need balloons.
7
SPEAKER_02
I couldn t even, if we had to do it today, I d love to see the balloon now, but I can t.
7
SPEAKER_03
What about happy feet?
7
SPEAKER_03
Can you still do happy feet?
7
SPEAKER_02
Can you do content feet?
7
SPEAKER_02
I could, but then I would die.
7
SPEAKER_02
I say don t.
7
SPEAKER_02
We do something similar at the end of our show, like we do a fail imitation.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, you guys go crazy at the end of the show, physically.
7
SPEAKER_03
Tap a little.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
All right, Dane, anything else?
7
SPEAKER_00
We got to let these guys go.
7
SPEAKER_00
They got a hard out.
8
SPEAKER_03
Well, I was too bad it was at 10 minutes.
8
SPEAKER_03
If David and I hired, hired you guys to write us a duo act, what are we, what are we talking about?
8
SPEAKER_03
If we a full hour act with me and David and you write it for us, what are we talking?
8
SPEAKER_03
Uh, 3 million.
8
SPEAKER_00
We want, we want some hits, but we don t want to belabor it as like a,
8
SPEAKER_00
last tour show.
8
SPEAKER_00
So you can do some hits we want.
8
SPEAKER_00
David doesn t have to be that heavy in it.
8
SPEAKER_02
Zoom candy.
8
SPEAKER_01
I would like it the reverse.
8
SPEAKER_01
I I was I was thinking we should call John Mulaney and tell him that his his latest special was really bad to convince him to write for us.
8
SPEAKER_03
that his writing for himself is over.
8
SPEAKER_03
So why don t you transfer all that talent to us?
8
SPEAKER_01
It s a cruel thing to do.
8
SPEAKER_01
It is cruel.
8
SPEAKER_01
It helps.
8
SPEAKER_01
But you guys should write for us.
8
SPEAKER_01
We need your young outlook.
8
Oh, yeah.
8
SPEAKER_03
So when you guys go on the road, how do you get in and out of the theater and the hotel without people wanting you to sign specific plastic things?
8
SPEAKER_01
Well, I have a joke I do at the show, which I love.
8
SPEAKER_01
I say, I love working with Marty.
8
SPEAKER_01
I love traveling around with Marty Short.
8
SPEAKER_01
No paparazzi.
8
SPEAKER_01
There s always a few people, but sometimes we sign it.
8
SPEAKER_01
Sometimes we re in a hurry.
8
SPEAKER_00
Sometimes we wait.
8
SPEAKER_00
Hi, how are you doing?
8
SPEAKER_02
They love waves.
8
SPEAKER_02
They love waves in lieu of signing and making their picture worth $700.
8
SPEAKER_02
You know, when I followed you guys on the road somewhere, I think it was San Antonio, we did some, whatever, overlaps, but it does get me tired.
8
SPEAKER_02
You guys get tired on the road?
8
SPEAKER_02
It is hard, even if you have it easy, it s still hard, you know?
8
SPEAKER_00
I think the most we ve done is four shows.
8
SPEAKER_00
In a row.
8
SPEAKER_00
Well, also there s two of us.
8
SPEAKER_01
If I were alone, I couldn t do it.
8
SPEAKER_01
But the fact that there s two of us,
8
SPEAKER_01
You know, it makes it easier.
8
SPEAKER_01
He s on stage sometimes.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m on stage.
8
SPEAKER_01
He does 20 minutes on his own.
8
SPEAKER_01
I do 20 minutes on my own.
8
SPEAKER_01
And we have each other to bounce off and commiserate with.
8
SPEAKER_00
And if it goes badly, it s a joke.
8
SPEAKER_00
You don t take it personally.
8
SPEAKER_03
So when you go back, you start normally, Marty, and then you go back.
8
SPEAKER_03
How do you stay kind of ready backstage?
8
SPEAKER_03
You have 20 minutes.
8
SPEAKER_00
No, well, Steve does the first five minutes, then I come out and then he leaves and I do another 25.
8
SPEAKER_01
You re changing outfits and clothes and all that.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m just sitting with my banjo trying to warm up without annoying you.
8
SPEAKER_01
Hammock.
8
SPEAKER_03
But two does help the energy.
8
SPEAKER_03
It is a solo for an hour and a half.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s unbelievable having a partner.
8
SPEAKER_03
So Steve, you ve been very busy.
8
SPEAKER_03
You have a new audio book, which is with Adam Gopnik.
8
SPEAKER_02
Another funny title.
8
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
It was a year of, we chatted, talked, you know, and then it was edited down to like four hours, something like that.
8
SPEAKER_01
And Adam Gopnik is an old friend, a highly skilled writer about so many things and intellectual, really, but with a charming gift in his writing.
8
SPEAKER_01
And so we just, you know, did an, I got a call from, I wanna say it s not Patreon, it s a, sorry.
8
SPEAKER_03
Pushkin.
8
SPEAKER_01
Pushkin, sorry.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, Pushkin with Malcolm Gladwell.
8
SPEAKER_01
And he said, would you like to do this audio book?
8
SPEAKER_01
And I said, yeah, that sounds like fun.
8
SPEAKER_03
So it s so many, so many Steve s.
8
SPEAKER_03
Do you feel in a way because of show business and AI and the web and everything that you re busier in some ways or as busy as anybody in show business wants to be if they have a little bit of leverage because you can do audio books, you can do podcasting, you can do... That s true, yeah.
8
SPEAKER_03
It s insane the amount of
8
SPEAKER_03
Dispensaries for, I mean, so how many things are you doing, Marty?
8
SPEAKER_03
You re doing only murders in the building.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m doing only murders in the building.
8
SPEAKER_00
Touring.
8
SPEAKER_00
Shows.
8
SPEAKER_03
And solo shows and touring.
8
SPEAKER_00
Well, of course.
8
SPEAKER_00
And of course, who better forget my Lumiere and Beauty and the Beast this year.
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s right.
8
SPEAKER_00
But beyond that, nothing.
8
SPEAKER_01
Guys, I don t know, but I have to go downstairs.
8
SPEAKER_01
I have to leave.
8
SPEAKER_03
We only have one more question.
8
SPEAKER_03
What is the meaning of life, Steve?
8
SPEAKER_03
Oh, that s so easy.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s a movie.
8
SPEAKER_03
There s a documentary on Steve on Apple TV later this year.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s that time of life.
8
SPEAKER_01
The documentary time of your life.
8
SPEAKER_03
Time of your life.
8
SPEAKER_03
Anyway, well, I just want to say that s been a thrill and thank you both for coming on our podcast.
8
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
8
SPEAKER_00
We love your podcast.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s hysterical.
8
SPEAKER_00
Three of my favorites.
8
SPEAKER_00
We really have.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s just a joy to watch the young kids.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s like having and I mean this with love.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s like having Siegfried and Roy back.
8
SPEAKER_03
But, uh, we ll see you.
8
SPEAKER_03
We ll see you around campus.
8
SPEAKER_03
Enjoy yourself.
8
SPEAKER_03
Bye guys.
8
SPEAKER_02
This has been a podcast presentation of Cadence 13.
8
SPEAKER_02
Please listen, then rate, review and follow all episodes available now for free wherever you get your podcast.
8
SPEAKER_02
No joke folks.
8
SPEAKER_03
Fly on the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13, executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corcoran of Cadence 13, and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment.
8
SPEAKER_02
The show s lead producer is Greg Holtzman with production and engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Basil of Cadence 13.