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Look at how fast, we re almost halfway through the year.
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Yeah, I mean, I had a therapist in Portland and I would commute and that was a pain.
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Dana, we got Sean Hayes today who is, you know him from a lot of things.
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He s also one fifth of the three guys on SmartLess.
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And should I give him that joke when he was here?
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sit next to it at an award show or something, or he will go into a restaurant, he s there.
0
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He is effusively fun, up, and positive, and funny.
0
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, it s true.
0
SPEAKER_03
I ve seen him at Koi, and that s where I saw him, and we talked about it on Smart List, but I ve seen him, and he s always fun.
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SPEAKER_03
I ll go to his table, he ll come to my table, we just do bits, and he s always a laugh, upbeat,
0
SPEAKER_03
Great on smart list i was kidding you know he s one like when we were doing just shoot me a few people remember thank you.
0
SPEAKER_03
And he was doing Woman of Grace.
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I think he was there when we were all up for it.
0
SPEAKER_03
He was always like smoking me and like the Emmys, like we d all be up for supporting.
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But I think one time he and I got up for a Golden Globe and it was, I should have asked him this, because it was back when that supporting actor was just actor on TV, which is way harder.
0
SPEAKER_03
So you re up against everything.
0
SPEAKER_03
So I think it was me and him and then two people from ER, which is a drama,
0
SPEAKER_03
Gregory Peck, wow, from Moby Dick, a movie on TV.
0
SPEAKER_03
And so I m like, just give it to, why are we even having a contest?
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SPEAKER_03
This guy s like a legend.
0
SPEAKER_03
And then he got up to give his speech because he smoked all of us.
0
SPEAKER_03
And then he said, I can t believe I m getting a.
0
SPEAKER_03
An award for a 90-second cameo.
0
SPEAKER_03
I was like, that s all you did?
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SPEAKER_03
I m in the salt mines for 22 episodes a week mumbling my jokes.
0
SPEAKER_02
I can t believe that I m getting an award for 90 seconds of work.
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SPEAKER_02
Of course.
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SPEAKER_03
I m Gregory Peck.
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SPEAKER_02
Sorry.
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SPEAKER_02
Best I could do in a pitch.
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SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that s how he was.
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And he killed it.
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SPEAKER_03
Oh, yeah.
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I think exactly.
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He goes, Moby Dick, I m going to throw a spear at you.
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Well, when I was when I was on the show at Live, the category for getting an Emmy was variety.
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So you d be up against jugglers, you know, people swallowing fish and just a pogo stick star.
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SPEAKER_02
I mean, someone from a GT other award shows the you know, the inaugural address of the president.
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SPEAKER_02
I mean, it was the most eclectic, but after unicyclists, I find, you know, so.
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But back to our guest, Sean Hayes.
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I would listen to this one if you want to be in a good mood and hear a lot about Sean Hayes and all the stuff he s done, you know, from Will & Grace forward, he just keeps working.
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And SmartLess, we are a little, they are like the Borg, if you know the references.
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SPEAKER_02
The SmartLess guys are doing very well on their podcasts, let s put it that way.
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And Sean s a big part of that.
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SPEAKER_03
He s done Broadway, we talk about that.
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SPEAKER_03
Yep.
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SPEAKER_03
We talk about everything.
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SPEAKER_03
And without further ado.
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Oh, bless you.
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Here s Sean Hayes.
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Let s just get through this one.
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SPEAKER_03
Let s get through it.
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We are finally talking to a pro.
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SPEAKER_02
We re talking to a pro.
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SPEAKER_02
I m a little nervous.
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SPEAKER_01
No, no, no.
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SPEAKER_01
This is wonderful to see you both.
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David, good morning.
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SPEAKER_01
Looks like you just woke up.
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SPEAKER_01
He s stretching.
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The beauty of Zoom.
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He s been up for six hours.
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SPEAKER_03
No one knows.
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SPEAKER_03
No one knows watching.
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SPEAKER_01
Yes.
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SPEAKER_01
Dana, are you at home?
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Is everybody at home?
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SPEAKER_02
I m at home, yeah.
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Yeah, all right.
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Which is, where are you?
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I m at an old folks home.
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Where are you, Sean?
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My room s next to David s in the old folks  home.
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SPEAKER_01
We have a knock system.
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SPEAKER_01
One knock means come over.
0
SPEAKER_01
Two means, no, come over to me.
0
SPEAKER_01
Three knocks means, what are you having for dinner?
0
SPEAKER_01
That whole thing on the wall, through the wall.
0
SPEAKER_01
I did that with my sister when I was a kid.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that was your system?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that was my system.
0
SPEAKER_02
My sister used to pay me her allowance to make her laugh.
0
SPEAKER_02
Really?
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, at a younger sister.
0
SPEAKER_02
And I would get a tennis racket, pretend I was playing it.
0
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
0
SPEAKER_02
It was, what did you do?
0
SPEAKER_03
My stepdad used to knock three times.
0
SPEAKER_03
That meant I m going to do something and you re not going to tell anyone.
0
SPEAKER_03
Anyway, so what else is going on, guys?
0
SPEAKER_02
So what else is going on, Sean?
0
SPEAKER_02
How s your life?
0
SPEAKER_02
Let s not go down that rabbit hole.
0
SPEAKER_01
My life is good.
0
SPEAKER_01
Everything s really, really good.
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I love your podcast.
0
SPEAKER_03
It s too good.
0
SPEAKER_03
It s too good, Sean.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s what we re here about.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s just as good as yours.
0
SPEAKER_02
I mean, do you listen to... I refer to your podcast a lot.
0
SPEAKER_02
I ve called you the smart list, guys.
0
SPEAKER_02
You re kind of like the Borg if you watch Star Trek Next Generation.
0
SPEAKER_02
You re like,
0
SPEAKER_02
You re like the seniors at Chimney Corner, and David and I are with, you know, lunch pails in the bleachers.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s like, you can never beat the smartless guys.
0
SPEAKER_01
No, my husband is obsessed with Star Trek.
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t really know Star Trek, but I know Borgs.
0
SPEAKER_01
But I was with you guys for the lunch pails.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you were there?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I m like, you know, I m sci-fi nerd geek, but just not Star Trek.
0
SPEAKER_01
I just never got into it.
0
SPEAKER_02
Well, what s your, cause I m a little in that area.
0
SPEAKER_02
What s your area?
0
SPEAKER_01
I love Star Wars.
0
SPEAKER_01
I love like Ex Machina, like single standalone arrival.
0
SPEAKER_03
Did you see it, David?
0
SPEAKER_03
I saw Ex Machina, and that s what I was saying.
0
SPEAKER_02
That was a hot robot.
0
SPEAKER_02
But Arrival, I liked it so much, I brought my wife back the next day, who s not a real science fiction fan, was mesmerized by it.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s like a very sixth sense.
0
SPEAKER_01
If you don t know that all of her flashbacks are really flash forwards.
0
SPEAKER_01
I had to watch it again because I thought it was so clever.
0
SPEAKER_03
Is that Amy Adams?
0
SPEAKER_01
Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner.
0
SPEAKER_01
Thank great.
0
SPEAKER_01
Great.
0
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that was a great one.
0
SPEAKER_03
I love all that stuff.
0
SPEAKER_03
You do.
0
SPEAKER_03
I m into UFOs.
0
SPEAKER_03
I am.
0
SPEAKER_03
I am.
0
SPEAKER_03
I ll go.
0
SPEAKER_03
It s all about UFOs.
0
SPEAKER_01
And yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
And did you like how they rebranded it?
0
SPEAKER_01
to UAPs, right?
0
SPEAKER_01
Why does that help?
0
SPEAKER_01
Are we going to get into it?
0
SPEAKER_02
No, let s do it.
0
SPEAKER_02
I love it.
0
SPEAKER_02
UFO to UAP.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s right.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s almost like when politicians rebrand things or people in this country rebrand things,
0
SPEAKER_01
It s because they re on to you or something.
0
SPEAKER_01
So UFOs, Identified Flying Objects, how is that different than unidentified aerial phenomenon?
0
SPEAKER_01
It s the same thing.
0
SPEAKER_01
Why did we repand it?
1
SPEAKER_01
J-Lo is Jennifer Lopez.
1
SPEAKER_01
She switched it, but I know what was going on.
1
SPEAKER_01
She was the same person.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_03
And you can identify her like that.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s very similar situation.
1
SPEAKER_00
David told William Shatner, one of our guests, that he believed in UFOs.
1
SPEAKER_00
William Shatner, he was 92 at the time, he did a 10 minute thing about mirages in the desert.
1
SPEAKER_00
very clever, very articulate, and I ll never forget that.
1
SPEAKER_00
So when you say you hear about... What is mirages in the desert?
1
SPEAKER_00
That they exist or don t exist?
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, just that, of course, you re going to see things you can t explain.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know, I think it was not pro-little martians.
1
SPEAKER_00
Can t believe there s not one, you know.
1
SPEAKER_00
Do you like Star Trek?
1
SPEAKER_03
No, like I like the Star Trek movies, by the way.
1
SPEAKER_03
I like the movies that JJ did.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, but I just did.
1
SPEAKER_03
I don t know the history, so I couldn t.
1
SPEAKER_03
I don t know, like the relationship.
1
SPEAKER_03
Anyway.
1
SPEAKER_03
But anyway, UFOs.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes, I want to know what you believe in.
1
SPEAKER_00
Do you believe there s aliens are here?
1
SPEAKER_03
I totally believe.
1
SPEAKER_03
No, I don t know that they re here, but I believe all the stuff that we ve seen, like the footage and stuff that the military has, they have to have come here.
1
SPEAKER_03
It just doesn t.
1
SPEAKER_03
Did you see Prometheus?
1
SPEAKER_03
Of course.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_03
Did you, David?
1
SPEAKER_01
What s it in a sentence, David, leave Prometheus.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, I thought there s a spelling bee.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, I did.
1
SPEAKER_01
Is that with.
1
SPEAKER_01
Ex-Machina s boyfriend, Fassbender.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_03
Are they really dating in real life?
1
SPEAKER_03
Oh, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, no, he s married to somebody else.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, Alicia Viklander, am I correct?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, Viklander, good one, David.
1
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s terrific.
1
SPEAKER_01
I look dumb.
1
SPEAKER_00
So that s the idea that aliens have visited and may be seated at us a la 2001.
1
SPEAKER_03
Well, were you, Dana, are you a big fan of Prometheus?
1
SPEAKER_03
Because I have a little scoop.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, I am a big fan, and I don t think they re gonna make another one unless you ve got a scoop.
1
SPEAKER_03
No, but I have a scoop about, I don t know if it s true, but I heard that the reason why people had, they cut out a big section of that movie, is what I heard, I don t know if it s true, where they explain why the engineer, the big alien at the end, can t stop.
1
SPEAKER_03
So they explained it through the Bible, that Jesus was gone, you know, the Bible, they don t talk about Jesus for like 30 years or whatever it is.
1
SPEAKER_03
It s during that time that that engineer plucked him from Earth, took him back to their planet, teached him how to, uh, teach to how humanity should go.
1
SPEAKER_03
And that locked him back down.
1
SPEAKER_03
That s why in the Bible, he pre-appears it when his thirties and then they get it wrong because people are still treating each other like shit.
1
SPEAKER_03
So the engineers come back and want to swipe at the whole earth away and start over again.
1
SPEAKER_03
So it s like a little Bible thing that they cut out there.
1
SPEAKER_00
Right, right.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, and it was Ridley Scott s explanation for why Jesus was missing in the Bible for so many years, which I think is really a great idea.
1
SPEAKER_01
I didn t get any of that.
1
SPEAKER_01
I did see it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was going to say, is it Ridley Scott?
1
SPEAKER_00
I watched The Passion of the Christ two nights ago.
1
SPEAKER_00
And?
1
SPEAKER_00
Can t beat it.
1
SPEAKER_00
That was a pun.
1
SPEAKER_00
Is that a joke from the movie?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_00
That was a tagline.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was on the posters.
1
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, Catholicism is very, very interesting.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I grew up Catholic.
1
SPEAKER_03
Did you guys grow up Catholic?
1
SPEAKER_00
I m a lapsed Lutheran, but now I go to Catholic church with my wife.
1
SPEAKER_00
Lapsed Lutheran.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, I go like that, because I see the friars there, and I go, L, like that.
1
SPEAKER_00
They go, you could get a, I don t do the wafer.
1
SPEAKER_00
He says, you could go up and cross your arms and get a blessing.
1
SPEAKER_03
I never, even as a kid, I could say something, but we d have to cut it.
1
SPEAKER_03
We ll cut it.
1
SPEAKER_03
We ll say we ll cut it.
1
SPEAKER_03
No, I can t, I can t take the risk.
1
SPEAKER_03
No, I was a horny gay kid and I was- Right, you can say that.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I can say that.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes, and I know where you re going.
1
SPEAKER_03
At 13 or 14 years old.
1
SPEAKER_03
And then that s when all the news came out about the horrible molestation in the Catholic church.
1
SPEAKER_03
But for me, I would have killed to date anybody at the time.
1
SPEAKER_03
Sorry, that s all I ll say about that.
1
SPEAKER_00
I thought you were saying, why is Jesus always like in a loincloth with a 12 pack?
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, right, right.
1
SPEAKER_01
Uh, you were going to say, why aren t these priests eyeballing me?
1
SPEAKER_01
Were you changing your outfits?
1
SPEAKER_01
I didn t say it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m just saying that you re a kid.
1
SPEAKER_01
You don t know.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, no.
1
SPEAKER_03
You re just a kid.
1
SPEAKER_03
It s all most stations.
1
SPEAKER_03
Horrible.
1
SPEAKER_03
I wasn t saying like,
1
SPEAKER_03
Anyway, you re like, I m just a kid.
1
SPEAKER_03
I m just a kid.
1
SPEAKER_03
That s not sex.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m going on record of hating all child abuse.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m just, you guys can win.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m anti-child abuse.
1
SPEAKER_01
I have to say it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I am anti-child abuse as well.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s something you have to proclaim.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I m anti-podcasts that wander into child abuse and make jokes.
1
SPEAKER_01
I hate it all.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_03
We re all in sync, but I grew up Catholic.
1
SPEAKER_03
And so we were forced to go to church and, and CCD classes, like we re Bible classes kids.
1
SPEAKER_03
But, um, yeah, I never, I never really got into, I would always, there was two chapels and me and my oldest brother would always be like, bye mom.
1
SPEAKER_03
We re going to go to the other chapel.
1
SPEAKER_03
We were just playing in the backyard of the church.
1
SPEAKER_03
Oh, you didn t go to the church.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, there were five of us, and if our parents slept past 9 a.m., we knew we didn t have to go, so we would be like, we may not have to go, because we have to put our church pants on, which my brother Scott, we shared a bedroom, we had to put church pants on, and we didn t want to be seen in the neighborhood with our church pants, so we would be completely flat in the back of the station wagon, hiding.
1
SPEAKER_03
I think the outfit for everybody that works at Home Depot is church pants.
1
SPEAKER_01
I think that s what you have to buy to work there.
1
SPEAKER_01
And also Best Buy.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Best Buy.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Those brown.
1
SPEAKER_01
I know.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s that Dennis Miller line that I think was a little class warfare.
1
SPEAKER_00
Christ sakes, if you re 40 years of age and you still wear a name tag at your employment area, you may be thinking of another career.
1
SPEAKER_00
Another vocation.
1
SPEAKER_00
Another vocation.
1
SPEAKER_03
I mean, any time you do that, David is just like, I ve seen it all.
1
SPEAKER_01
I like it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I jump in.
1
SPEAKER_01
I piggyback.
1
SPEAKER_03
I could listen to you do 8000 impressions every single day of my life.
1
SPEAKER_00
I do Dennis now with more of a clenched jaw because he s incredibly successful.
1
SPEAKER_00
He s very relaxed.
1
SPEAKER_00
He s very good with money.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he s kind of like this very soft.
1
SPEAKER_00
OK, you know, might go shoot nine holes with Mikey Douglas.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know, that sounds very much like him.
1
SPEAKER_00
Got a couple shekels in my pocket, you know, I d say.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
I like that a lot.
1
SPEAKER_00
You re kind of in the army, not literally, folks, but when you go through the gauntlet of SNL with a cadre of people, you re forever kind of bonded just because it s the most intense experience you can have in show business, apparently.
1
SPEAKER_00
Right.
1
SPEAKER_00
You did 2001?
1
SPEAKER_00
You hosted.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, Saturday Night Live?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
You hosted Saturday Night Live, that s the theme of our show.
1
2001.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, did you host Prometheus?
1
SPEAKER_01
What do you think we re talking about?
1
SPEAKER_00
No, he hosted 2001 and that was released in 1968.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s what I thought.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was like, wait, Space Odyssey?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you re right.
1
SPEAKER_03
No, yeah, 2001, it was like the, who was, I think Shaggy was the musical guest and it was.
1
SPEAKER_03
Shaggy.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
Shaggy.
1
SPEAKER_02
I can t believe Sean Hayes is on Saturday Night Links.
1
SPEAKER_02
Here he comes out for his monologue.
1
SPEAKER_02
Ruh-roh.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, hello.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that s right, he did that.
1
SPEAKER_01
Gotta love kids to Casey.
1
SPEAKER_01
Did Scooby ever talk, or did he just go, rrrr?
1
SPEAKER_01
No, ruh-roh.
1
SPEAKER_01
That was it.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s not that much.
1
SPEAKER_03
It is.
1
SPEAKER_03
It s a word.
1
SPEAKER_03
It s more than your dog can say.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, fuck, you got me there.
1
SPEAKER_00
Hey, guess what?
1
SPEAKER_00
Lauren asked me once, what s the deal with Scooby-Doo?
1
SPEAKER_00
Why do the kids like it?
1
SPEAKER_00
And I say it s the first time they re watching kind of something that scares them, that is still very playful.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s a horror show to a two-year-old.
1
SPEAKER_03
But as a kid, did you watch it as a kid?
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
I did.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think I was.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t know when it first hit.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think maybe I watched when did it first come on?
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_03
I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_03
But I couldn t get into it.
1
SPEAKER_03
What this conversation the other day, what cartoons did you watch?
1
SPEAKER_03
I watched Tom and Jerry because there were no words.
1
SPEAKER_03
I didn t have to concentrate.
1
SPEAKER_03
And that s it.
1
SPEAKER_00
I go back to Felix the Cat, you can look it up, but that was the first cartoon.
1
SPEAKER_00
Popeye was around in the 60s.
1
SPEAKER_00
Johnny Quest was sort of considered cool.
1
SPEAKER_00
El Cabong, there were some very silly Hanna-Barbera.
1
SPEAKER_00
El Cabong, wasn t it some donkey with a guitar would beat people up?
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
Really?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, look it up, El Cabong.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, let me ask you, TV shows as a kid, because you re a little down the ladder for me, so it d be like the 70s.
1
SPEAKER_00
Same ladder, just further.
1
SPEAKER_00
You ll climb up to my point at some point.
1
SPEAKER_00
I bet you watched Brady Bunch.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I watched Brady Bunch.
2
SPEAKER_00
I remember watching a lot of sitcoms like Breeze Company and then Cheers when it first started.
2
SPEAKER_00
But my mom used to make me record The Cosby Show for her every Thursday night because she would go bowling.
2
SPEAKER_00
And so, you know, I was raised by my mom raised five kids by herself.
2
SPEAKER_00
We hadn t got dad left when I was
2
SPEAKER_00
Super, super young.
2
SPEAKER_03
Sounds like your mom left to God.
2
SPEAKER_02
I wish my I wish my dad had left.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m sorry for your loss, Sean.
2
SPEAKER_02
But that would have been terrific with five in our family, too.
2
SPEAKER_02
But Daddy stayed.
2
SPEAKER_03
Couldn t get daddy out the door.
2
SPEAKER_02
There s worse things than daddy leaving.
2
SPEAKER_02
And that s daddy staying.
2
SPEAKER_02
Right.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s probably true.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s another podcast.
2
SPEAKER_02
Can I ask you a question?
2
SPEAKER_02
How many viewers did cause the Cosby show have at its peak?
2
SPEAKER_02
I have no idea what is this, a trivia show all of a sudden.
2
SPEAKER_00
Just answer all trivia.
2
SPEAKER_00
Fifty million.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I got it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Had to be a ton.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m still laughing at David.
2
SPEAKER_00
So it s not like mom left to.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, she went bowling while you guys fucking fought for mom.
2
SPEAKER_02
She did.
2
SPEAKER_02
Mom, mom just made me her surrogate husband.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, which she told me that when she was 50, I went to therapy.
2
SPEAKER_02
You were my surrogate husband.
2
SPEAKER_00
Wait, tell me.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s so interesting.
2
SPEAKER_00
My mom, when she passed away from Alzheimer s like three, four years ago, she I, I kind of took on that role too, because she would, I think she would think of me as her husband or something.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was really,
2
SPEAKER_00
interesting and and then funny because Alzheimer s, you know, you go through all the crying and the crying and the crying for years and years.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then to get out of it, you can only make funny like it can only be funny in order to.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
Anything can be funny, even though it s horrifying.
2
SPEAKER_03
That is a horrifying situation.
2
SPEAKER_02
Was your mom kind of happy?
2
SPEAKER_02
There are certain people with Alzheimer s get very angry and mean and nasty, and some are kind of silly and happy.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, she was paranoid and angry.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then when she got on the other side of that, then she was pretty pleasant.
2
SPEAKER_02
My mom was funny because she would point to a little plant next to her table and she d say, have you met my friend?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, my mom, one time I walked into her bedroom and she left a crap in the toilet.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I go, I go, Mom, you got to you got to flush the toilet.
2
SPEAKER_00
And she goes, she point she pointed out.
2
SPEAKER_00
She goes, that s not mine.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know who that is.
2
SPEAKER_00
They come in here.
2
SPEAKER_00
They do that.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I leave it.
2
SPEAKER_03
That s her Alzheimer s talking.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_00
And of course, and I start laughing and then she starts laughing.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was and you don t know if she s clowning you or not.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, no, she wasn t.
2
SPEAKER_00
She was full on.
2
SPEAKER_02
Hey, guys, Newsflash came out yesterday.
2
SPEAKER_02
They had an A.I.
2
SPEAKER_02
study, seven million blah, blah, blah.
2
SPEAKER_02
They found out that men, it happens to be Viagra, that take Viagra on any kind of regular basis, have a 70% less chance of getting Alzheimer s.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, like it s a preventable drug?
2
SPEAKER_02
Because it s all about blood vessels and getting rid of plaques in the brain.
2
SPEAKER_02
And yeah, it s just I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_00
David s looking up his either his bank account.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, I m listening intently.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_00
David, what about Viagra?
2
SPEAKER_00
That s interesting.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t need it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Do you guys need it?
2
SPEAKER_02
Only if I go to court.
2
SPEAKER_02
What are you talking about?
2
SPEAKER_02
Only at dinner.
2
SPEAKER_03
Sean, that s so silly.
2
SPEAKER_02
What a funny question.
2
SPEAKER_03
I get them at the gas station when they go.
2
SPEAKER_03
They re right by there and they re like, hey, grab a boner for the road.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I m like, why are they right here?
2
SPEAKER_03
Someone s just like, oh, I might need that.
2
SPEAKER_03
I ll get that with some Twizzlers.
2
SPEAKER_03
And it s like, it s not real.
2
SPEAKER_02
Who has an original Viagra erectile dysfunction joke?
2
SPEAKER_02
Anybody?
2
SPEAKER_02
David must have one.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t think so.
2
SPEAKER_00
There s a billion of them.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, but I have to take other stuff.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t take that.
2
SPEAKER_00
I have to take a thyroid thing.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s the first thing I do every single morning.
2
SPEAKER_00
Sexy.
2
SPEAKER_00
Go ahead.
2
SPEAKER_02
What happened to your thyroid?
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, low, low, low.
2
SPEAKER_02
Where?
2
SPEAKER_02
So that so you re tired.
2
SPEAKER_02
Then you get the pill and you re like, why am I exhausted?
2
SPEAKER_00
And then I went to the doctor.
2
SPEAKER_00
He s like, oh, it s just normal.
2
SPEAKER_00
OK, age number two.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then I take a bunch of supplements and a little baby aspirin because I get a fib.
2
SPEAKER_00
I love talking about medical stuff.
2
SPEAKER_00
So if you guys want to talk about medical stuff, Dana loves it.
2
SPEAKER_02
all day long.
2
SPEAKER_02
Me too.
2
SPEAKER_02
We like science fiction and medical stuff.
2
SPEAKER_02
I think you might be my new best friend.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, David, take a five.
2
SPEAKER_03
No, I look 40.
2
SPEAKER_03
I m actually 46.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, self-declared?
2
SPEAKER_02
You re 46, but you read at a 48-year-old level.
2
SPEAKER_03
I identify as a lower number than what I am.
2
SPEAKER_02
The guy s got a noggin on him.
2
SPEAKER_02
Medicine, yeah, I m good with cardiovascular disease, anything with bypasses or stents.
2
SPEAKER_00
Did you read about this new thing that you could put into your heart?
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, man, I forgot what it s called.
2
SPEAKER_00
Love.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s brand new.
2
SPEAKER_03
I guess she wouldn t know about that.
2
SPEAKER_03
You have to have a doctor do it.
2
SPEAKER_00
I actually had to take it out.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you did?
2
SPEAKER_00
Now you want it back?
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, no.
2
SPEAKER_00
And they re all out of it.
2
SPEAKER_00
They re like backlog.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like, I signed up.
2
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, there s this new thing you can put inside your heart that makes it like it s a blood stop.
2
SPEAKER_00
It makes it so you don t ever have to have blood thinners.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t know about that.
2
SPEAKER_02
I was on them for, first I was on niacin for 10 years, 3,000 milligrams a day.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then my- Why, because of a bad heart or why?
2
SPEAKER_02
Just to help with the, bring your HDL, the good cholesterol up.
2
SPEAKER_02
And after 10 years, my cardiologist, who s a friend of mine, I ll do the accent for him.
2
SPEAKER_02
He s Hindu.
2
SPEAKER_02
He goes, you don t really have to take it anymore.
2
SPEAKER_02
It doesn t do any good.
2
SPEAKER_02
So it was like 3,000 a day for a decade.
2
SPEAKER_02
Then I was on Plavix, a blood thinner, for 20 years.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then they said, you don t really need it that long.
2
Get rid of it.
2
SPEAKER_02
Does niacin make you orange?
2
SPEAKER_02
I ve heard that.
2
SPEAKER_02
Is that a lie?
2
SPEAKER_02
My wife took one of my niacins, which is a B something thing.
2
SPEAKER_02
Out of the blue, she took 1,000.
2
SPEAKER_02
Explosive diarrhea, drenched in sweat.
2
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I acclimated slowly, but that stuff is,
2
SPEAKER_00
Nasty.
2
SPEAKER_00
I d kill for some diarrhea just to loosen up.
2
SPEAKER_00
Here and there.
2
SPEAKER_02
What about Ozempic?
2
SPEAKER_02
Oprah had a special on it.
2
SPEAKER_00
I just saw that she had a special.
2
SPEAKER_00
I watched it for like two seconds.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was like, oh, I got it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Is Ozempic just diarrhea?
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, we have another disclaimer.
2
SPEAKER_00
We are anti-body shaming.
2
SPEAKER_00
We are.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_02
And pro modern science can reorientate the brain.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
What an edgy show.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
I have questions you can do.
2
SPEAKER_02
We could do a quiz like which one do you want to tackle?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, sure.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, please.
2
SPEAKER_02
OK, well, I guess the first one, because I assume you re a fanatic.
2
SPEAKER_02
So I did listen to you, you guys.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_02
What is it?
2
SPEAKER_02
Bill Flarnett and and Jester Fluke.
2
SPEAKER_02
I listen to you guys with McCartney.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh wow, that was a long time ago.
2
SPEAKER_02
You did them before us, but I listened to you talk to McCartan before David and I. Yeah, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
So then I didn t know at the time, like you re like a really great classical pianist.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I play, yeah, I studied, yeah, I was a classical pianist.
2
SPEAKER_00
I started when I was five years old.
2
SPEAKER_00
There was a piano teacher across the street and I came home from, you know, preschool and my mom said, do you want to take piano lessons?
2
SPEAKER_00
I was like, I literally said, quote, I m not doing anything else.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I walked across the street and started taking lessons and stuck with it.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then I did yard work because we couldn t afford anything.
2
SPEAKER_00
We couldn t afford heat one winter.
2
SPEAKER_00
We couldn t afford food a lot of the time.
2
SPEAKER_00
So to pay for my piano lessons, I would do yard work at my piano teacher s house for her and her husband.
2
SPEAKER_00
And her husband was a conductor in the Chicagoland area.
2
SPEAKER_00
And so I was doing all these landscaping and yard.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was, it was horrible.
2
SPEAKER_00
And people in high school thought I lived there.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was this big mansion, like in where I lived.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, yeah, I lived there.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like the movie Lucas, anybody?
2
SPEAKER_00
And so I Lucas.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
I remember that shot of my high school.
2
SPEAKER_00
And so, um, and so I, that side story is already more interesting, but keep going.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was Lucas.
2
SPEAKER_00
I went out for football.
2
SPEAKER_03
So I love Lucas.
2
SPEAKER_03
Well, that s such a good movie.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh, fuck.
2
SPEAKER_03
I love it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Winona Ryder s first film.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s right.
2
SPEAKER_03
Charlie Sheen was great.
2
SPEAKER_03
Chuck Sheen.
2
SPEAKER_03
Go ahead.
2
SPEAKER_03
So you played the piano and mowed some lawns.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that s it.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he wrote a song about mowing lawns, right?
2
SPEAKER_02
That was like a local pop.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was better at mowing lawns.
2
SPEAKER_01
I went into Gary.
2
SPEAKER_01
I understand that you, uh, you learned to tingle the ivory.
2
SPEAKER_01
And, um, Oh, Dana s a good question about McCartney though.
2
SPEAKER_01
Right.
2
SPEAKER_02
I was just, I was just noticing.
2
SPEAKER_02
So you re interviewing Paul McCartney and I didn t know you were a classical pianist.
2
SPEAKER_02
So you, you did ask him, are you,
2
SPEAKER_02
You were dissecting one of his songs and you got very into the language of signatures and the quarter fifths and all that.
2
SPEAKER_00
What s the song?
2
SPEAKER_00
What s that song in the 1990s?
2
SPEAKER_02
Long and Winding Road?
2
SPEAKER_00
No, no.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, the 90s?
2
SPEAKER_02
Flowers in the Dirt?
2
SPEAKER_02
Say, say, say.
2
SPEAKER_02
No, that was 80s.
3
SPEAKER_00
air.
3
SPEAKER_00
Let me just think of it.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was
3
SPEAKER_00
My Brave Face.
3
SPEAKER_00
That was 80s.
3
SPEAKER_00
That was 80s, but yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Great.
3
SPEAKER_00
So it s a great song.
3
SPEAKER_01
Could you sing a little more of that?
3
SPEAKER_00
That s good.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was talking to him because I m a music nerd, like I m sure he is, but I didn t know that he never studied music or anything.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I don t know if I made him aware.
3
SPEAKER_00
He wrote like a
3
SPEAKER_00
three, four bar than a five, five, five, four bar, and then a four, four, three, four bar again.
3
SPEAKER_00
So it wasn t, it wasn t in the four that we know, like pick any most, you know, 99% of pop songs are in four, four time, which is, which is just four beats, seven, eight, you know?
3
SPEAKER_00
And, um, but he would write all the Beatle stuff and his stuff.
3
SPEAKER_00
He would write different time signatures all the time.
3
SPEAKER_00
But if you re not used to music theory, you probably don t,
3
SPEAKER_00
You know pick it up like i did yeah but that s interesting i pray he probably likes to hear that kind of stuff more than and that well i went in this long explanation as you know to paul mccartney and then my explanation he says, oh i didn t know that i don t read music i was like okay yeah because i don t know what you re talking about yeah which i was fascinated that people who don t study there are prolific in it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if George Martin kind of, you know, by osmosis sort of influenced them, but if you look at Penny Lane and then it goes to all the different timing, even maybe I m amazed I ve talked to real musicians, time signature changes, the beat, and also, you know, key changes, all this stuff that makes all the magic.
3
SPEAKER_01
Unreal, unreal.
3
SPEAKER_01
Can t beat talent.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, we had him on, Sean.
3
SPEAKER_01
Or can you?
3
SPEAKER_02
Our first three things we told him, I think, were compliments.
3
SPEAKER_02
And he goes, well, these aren t really questions.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
And we were like, we didn t know what to do.
3
SPEAKER_01
We went into a rabbit hole.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was terrified.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was in Wyoming.
3
SPEAKER_01
David was in New York.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was on vacation.
3
SPEAKER_01
Paul McCartney can talk to you tomorrow.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was in a shithole with my family.
3
SPEAKER_01
We didn t have Wi-Fi.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was on the road.
3
SPEAKER_01
I had to go up to the Four Seasons.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was $9,000 for the room.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well worth it.
3
SPEAKER_01
What?
3
SPEAKER_02
Well worth it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, my God.
3
SPEAKER_01
So then we had mentioned meeting Paul at Lorne Michaels  house in 1986 when I got SNL.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
And he scrunched up his face.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know what you re talking about.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, my God.
3
SPEAKER_00
He doesn t remember.
3
SPEAKER_01
Pull up.
3
SPEAKER_01
Pull up.
3
SPEAKER_01
Pull up.
3
SPEAKER_01
So then what happened was you might find it get back and come out between you guys interview.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, go ahead Did you ever you ever listen to that like automated cockpit voice?
3
SPEAKER_00
It s like 300 200 100 you re like, oh my god, we re gonna crash and
3
SPEAKER_01
I have a friend who sends me airline disasters on YouTube.
3
SPEAKER_01
So it s happy guys in a cockpit.
3
SPEAKER_01
We ll proceed to run by four or five several, you know, and then we ll go on down and go, and then you hear them go runways kind of dark.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then, Oh my God, who wants to live?
3
SPEAKER_01
I hate the fly, but I fly.
3
SPEAKER_01
I will fly.
3
SPEAKER_01
But anyway, get back came out.
3
SPEAKER_01
So we did ask him about get back.
3
SPEAKER_01
So that, then we were good.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know about that documentary.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, the 8-hour documentary had come out.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if he commented on it, but at one point I said, did John ever thank you for your baselines?
3
SPEAKER_01
And that kind of opened up a lot of stuff.
3
SPEAKER_01
Can I ask you a question being a podcaster?
3
SPEAKER_01
Do you guys, any of you three ever have podcast regret?
3
SPEAKER_01
Like you have someone that s kind of like a Paul McCartney or someone you admire and you really want to, and then later you go, oh, I wish I d asked him that or I wish I d said that.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s the part that tortures me.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, I know.
3
SPEAKER_00
Me too.
3
SPEAKER_00
And let me know when you get a guest on that, that doesn t torture you.
3
SPEAKER_01
You re pretty good so far because, you know, the game, you know, you know, I m like, I got to pick subjects because there s no questions yet.
3
SPEAKER_00
There s really only been two.
3
SPEAKER_00
I have a question.
3
SPEAKER_01
Here s the exact question.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, but you re the only actor in human history, as far as I know.
3
SPEAKER_01
Who played Larry of the Three Stooges and played Jerry Lewis.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
So what was the difference comedically between a Three Stooge and a Jerry Lewis?
3
SPEAKER_01
Did you learn anything?
3
SPEAKER_01
Same character.
3
SPEAKER_01
He does it the same way.
3
SPEAKER_01
No one notices.
3
SPEAKER_01
Hello, I m Larry.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m Jerry Lewis.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s fantastic.
3
SPEAKER_01
Then, David, you re up next.
3
SPEAKER_01
You ve answered my question.
3
SPEAKER_00
I quit watching around you two.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re disturbing my coffee break.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s pretty good.
3
SPEAKER_00
Now do Larry.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, no.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then I just played Oscar Levant on Broadway last year.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I only play Jewish guys, I guess.
3
SPEAKER_00
The Broadway was a big deal.
3
SPEAKER_02
That was a big one, right?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that was pretty good.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Did you win?
3
SPEAKER_01
You ve won Tony s, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
That s the one for that.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Damn.
3
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, no, Larry Fine was super fun.
3
SPEAKER_00
That was with Sofia Vergara.
3
SPEAKER_02
Wait, what did Sofia Vergara play?
3
SPEAKER_02
She played Moe, and then who played Curly?
3
SPEAKER_00
She played, when Curly, she played- Grace Diamantopoulos, Will Sasso, Sofia Vergara.
3
SPEAKER_00
Tons of people, tons of great, great people.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
And it was really, really fun.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was in Atlanta.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was so effing hot.
3
SPEAKER_01
Have you ever shot in Atlanta?
3
SPEAKER_01
I did stand up in Atlanta and walked around town in August.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, this is outside 14 hours a day for three months and 110 degrees wearing a wool suit.
3
SPEAKER_00
Get fucked, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s better than Ozempic to lose weight.
3
SPEAKER_01
Get a get a movie in August outside in Atlanta and put down your freaking pills.
3
SPEAKER_01
All right.
3
SPEAKER_01
Go ahead.
3
SPEAKER_00
No, no.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was it was definitely worth it.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was so fun.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it was we laughed so hard, but it was it was a lot of work.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I had shaved my head twice a day, every day, because by lunchtime it would start growing back.
3
SPEAKER_00
I would have five o clock shadow on my bald head.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, really?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
They glued the wig to my head.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so the glue while you re sweating and.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s when I first met you.
3
SPEAKER_01
I had glue on my head and I was sweating.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s right.
3
SPEAKER_01
Do you remember that?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I m at Lights Out, David s show.
3
SPEAKER_00
All right.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I had just done Al Pacino as Scarface.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then you get the wig off and the bald cap and the thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s always fascinating.
3
SPEAKER_01
What s he got going on up there?
3
SPEAKER_01
Where does his hairline actually start?
3
SPEAKER_01
But you are incredibly pleasant.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I know I love life.
3
SPEAKER_00
Same, same.
3
SPEAKER_00
That was so fun to meet you, David.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ve known for years.
3
SPEAKER_00
David was doing just shoot me when I was doing all the grace at the stage right next to us.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I was walk.
3
SPEAKER_00
We were both walking together.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I just I left him to walk up to my stage and I just opened the stage door.
3
SPEAKER_00
And David said, how do you smell?
3
SPEAKER_00
That smells so bad and a lot.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I opened my stage door and I go, all I smell is a hit.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, my God.
3
SPEAKER_02
Fucking, the real story.
3
SPEAKER_01
I used to say to people, go ahead.
3
SPEAKER_01
I said to David, Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell an Oscar nomination.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s what he did.
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, when I did it with Fee-fi-fo-fum.
3
SPEAKER_02
I didn t just shoot me.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m in.
3
SPEAKER_02
It was going along fine.
3
SPEAKER_02
Then these assholes came along from Will and Grace and they were, we like, I think Megan,
3
SPEAKER_02
was right next to my dressing room.
3
SPEAKER_02
We d have to walk, you know, a hundred yards to the stages.
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, yours is closer, but walk over.
3
SPEAKER_02
So we see each other all the time.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then we were doing pretty good.
3
SPEAKER_02
We were by no means like a monster hit.
3
SPEAKER_02
It was very tough.
3
SPEAKER_00
That was a great show.
3
SPEAKER_00
And you did great.
3
SPEAKER_02
I have to say when we re up, when we re on the same lot as Seinfeld, you know, there, there, there was a real heyday right then.
3
SPEAKER_02
There was a lot of shows, Frasier and ER and
3
SPEAKER_02
Will & Grace.
3
SPEAKER_02
So I think what happened, the humiliating, there s two humiliating things.
3
SPEAKER_02
One, we were, I think the 8 o clock and then Friends is maybe the night or whatever show.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then the Hammock ones, the degrading name for the 8.30, 9.30 shows,
3
SPEAKER_02
were the ones that needed some help.
3
SPEAKER_02
So you go, well, Will and Grace will follow us because they re new.
3
SPEAKER_02
They don t know anything yet.
3
SPEAKER_02
I think that s what happened.
3
SPEAKER_02
You can tell me if I m wrong.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then something follows like Frazier at 930.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then after about a year, they went and switched us.
3
SPEAKER_02
Cause Will and Grace came out of the gate pretty hard.
3
SPEAKER_02
So they switched us.
3
SPEAKER_02
So we flip flop where we were eight 30, I think.
3
SPEAKER_02
So Will and Grace is off and running.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then the other part that was infuriating was when I had to walk by all four of your Porsches.
3
SPEAKER_02
on the way to the set, because you fuckers got Porsches.
3
SPEAKER_00
We were gifted Porsches.
3
SPEAKER_01
We were sharing a moped at that point.
3
SPEAKER_01
Wait a minute.
3
SPEAKER_01
How many episodes before you got the car?
3
SPEAKER_00
The same thing happened to us as it happened to Friends, which was Friends wasn t a hit.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, people watched it, but after the first season of Friends, over the summer when they used to play
4
SPEAKER_00
reruns, Friends became huge.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then we started out the same way where nobody really kind of, they were just checking us out.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then over the summer, it just exploded.
4
SPEAKER_00
And so the network that had a network, Scott Sassa, I was called him.
4
SPEAKER_00
I got him mixed up with Sammy Sosa.
4
SPEAKER_00
And Scott Sassa, he brought us to lunch.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then when we were done eating lunch, we walked out and there was four Porsches there.
4
SPEAKER_00
Congratulations on the book.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was like, Oh my God.
4
SPEAKER_00
And immediately I thought of selling it because I needed the money.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I waited like, you know, cause why do I want to play insurance on it?
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t have money to pay my rent.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I was, I sold it like two months later, but you got a decent chunk.
4
SPEAKER_03
You get decent at the B I know you guys try to renegotiate it, but at the beginning you did pretty good.
4
SPEAKER_03
Right?
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
Not, I mean, sure.
4
SPEAKER_02
Not, not in the beginning, probably by when did it really like, okay, this is a hit.
4
SPEAKER_03
Was it year three or two?
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, for sure.
4
SPEAKER_03
So the summer jacked it up and then you came back hard.
4
SPEAKER_03
And then maybe they flipped us after that.
4
SPEAKER_03
But Just Shoot Me was doing fine.
4
SPEAKER_03
It was all, it was really like a great, fun time.
4
SPEAKER_03
It was, all of that was fun.
4
SPEAKER_03
I remember, I was wondering if we ever were up for the same award.
4
SPEAKER_03
Cause I only got, I got, I didn t get that many.
4
SPEAKER_03
I didn t win anything.
4
SPEAKER_03
Put it on your trivia list, trivia questions.
4
SPEAKER_03
How many awards?
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, mine s zero.
4
SPEAKER_03
But that s a spoiler.
4
SPEAKER_03
But but I thought maybe Golden Globe because we were both supporting actors on comedies.
4
SPEAKER_03
And I was looking at all your.
4
SPEAKER_03
You got awards and stuff.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, I would have loved to have lost to you.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think you re brilliant.
4
SPEAKER_03
It says Jack McFarlane.
4
SPEAKER_03
Jack had a last name.
4
SPEAKER_03
I didn t know that.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that should be a trivia question.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, Finch didn t finish.
4
SPEAKER_03
I don t know if he did.
4
SPEAKER_03
Aren t you impressed that I know I was Dennis Finch.
4
SPEAKER_03
Finch was my last name.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, Dennis Finch.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
But they called me Finch.
4
SPEAKER_03
And I mean, no one would know Dennis because Oh, George Segal called me Dennis in the show.
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh, they always say that you were the Fonz of just shoot me.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
And Sean, were you the Fonz of Grace?
4
SPEAKER_00
I was the Fonz.
4
SPEAKER_00
Hey, the funny, overtly funny.
4
SPEAKER_02
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
4
SPEAKER_00
Hey, remember?
4
SPEAKER_00
Hey, I remember what s happening.
4
SPEAKER_00
Fuck.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that was the only show I ever wrote into a TV guide because I wanted because I thought D was so funny.
4
SPEAKER_00
Remember D, Roger s sister?
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, is she younger?
4
SPEAKER_00
And she s a little smart.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s so funny.
4
SPEAKER_00
She was hysterical.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I wrote it a TV guide as a kid.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, where s D?
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, what did she do?
4
SPEAKER_00
By the way, she s a veterinarian now in the valley.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Perfect.
4
SPEAKER_00
Cats out of the bag.
4
SPEAKER_02
I ve got a good way to get Dana to an impression.
4
SPEAKER_02
Ready?
4
SPEAKER_02
Okay, good.
4
SPEAKER_02
Line me up.
4
SPEAKER_02
Get ready.
4
SPEAKER_02
I did.
4
SPEAKER_03
Sean s other show later, Hot in Cleveland.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yes, you did, brilliant.
4
SPEAKER_03
And with Wendy Malek, who s so good, it s not even worth talking about, she s so good, everyone knows it.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I was playing- Is that a Hazy Mills production or no?
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it was, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
And Hot in Cleveland was great.
4
SPEAKER_03
And I played a haircutter, and who was my nemesis?
4
SPEAKER_03
Was it Regis Philbin?
4
SPEAKER_03
I I don t remember.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, yes, it was.
4
SPEAKER_03
I knew it.
4
SPEAKER_03
Well, then what is that?
4
SPEAKER_03
Because I was waiting for Dana to go.
4
SPEAKER_03
Anyway, you ready for this?
4
SPEAKER_01
Are you ready for this?
4
SPEAKER_01
Who doesn t love Sean Hayes?
4
SPEAKER_01
Here he is.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, he s been active all these years.
4
SPEAKER_01
He s got so many shows.
4
SPEAKER_01
He s got timing like a watch.
4
SPEAKER_01
You can t believe it.
4
SPEAKER_01
He makes an entrance like nobody s business.
4
SPEAKER_01
Now he s got a podcast empire.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s called Smart, who was spotless, whatever it is.
4
SPEAKER_01
But the king and
4
SPEAKER_01
Whatever a Broadway or wherever else it goes.
4
SPEAKER_03
It s all vague.
4
SPEAKER_02
I ve turned William Shatner Chinese because I think I signed him off as Regis.
4
SPEAKER_01
Who doesn t love Captain Kirk?
4
SPEAKER_01
He s done all these things.
4
SPEAKER_01
He s getting to the moon.
4
SPEAKER_01
He goes everywhere.
4
SPEAKER_01
He s always in outer space.
4
SPEAKER_01
If he s not in outer space, he s at Chili s having a bullet.
4
SPEAKER_01
Whatever.
4
SPEAKER_02
Just on and on and on.
4
SPEAKER_02
The Emmys and the... Oh, I love Reed.
4
SPEAKER_02
I get to visit people.
4
SPEAKER_02
I ve already gone to the stars.
4
SPEAKER_02
When I do Reedus, I, you know.
4
SPEAKER_00
And you know Mike Schur then, right?
4
SPEAKER_02
of SNL or.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, and he created Parks and Rec and make sure he s great.
4
SPEAKER_00
He s married to Regis s daughter.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, could you believe that, Mike?
4
SPEAKER_01
Sure.
4
SPEAKER_01
But the old Hiltley Dolly, you could ever have.
4
SPEAKER_01
There he is.
4
SPEAKER_01
I hope he s a good bad.
4
SPEAKER_02
You know what?
4
SPEAKER_02
The way I learned that I learned Trump was by doing it was a bit of Regis.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then adding in Marlon Brando kind of made me go to Trump.
4
SPEAKER_02
Now the people, everybody does Trump.
4
SPEAKER_01
But it s like, well, and then you get, you know, you know, inside baseball.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, no, it s good.
4
SPEAKER_00
I love that.
4
SPEAKER_00
You know how to like I m fat like you, Frank Caliendo.
4
SPEAKER_00
Right.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s amazing impression.
4
SPEAKER_02
Well, his his Morgan Friedman is one of those that s gone to this other almost scary level, you know, like it s not this is a magic trick.
4
SPEAKER_00
But it blows my mind.
4
SPEAKER_00
The science.
4
SPEAKER_00
behind your brain, Dana, and the ability to do that, like how the ability to listen and then know where to place it in your throat to mimic somebody like that.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s terrible when you just say, oh, I want to try to learn this person or someone s asking you to learn this person and you can t do it at all.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s very painful.
4
SPEAKER_02
All I do is listen a lot.
4
SPEAKER_02
You know, and just pray.
4
SPEAKER_00
Because a lot of it s like singing, too.
4
SPEAKER_00
If you sing, you know where to place a note and stuff.
4
SPEAKER_00
I suppose it s similar, right?
4
SPEAKER_00
Like.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, and for me, I just get bored or I don t feel like I m at the level of Frank Caliendo as a pure impressionist, so then I just try to abstract it and make a character out of it, but it s enough of the true source that it makes sense.
4
SPEAKER_02
I don t know why.
4
SPEAKER_03
No, it s so great anyway.
4
SPEAKER_02
Whatever.
4
SPEAKER_03
I can only do my friends.
4
SPEAKER_03
When you do your friends, you know, it s funny, but you can t use that anywhere except with your stupid friend group.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then if your friend became famous, it would be your impression.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, please God, but it ll never happen.
4
SPEAKER_03
Uh, we have a question for you.
4
SPEAKER_03
We ve been already.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
Already 48 minutes in notes.
4
SPEAKER_03
Ready?
4
SPEAKER_03
What s because you have three people on smart lists.
4
SPEAKER_03
You have three people interviewing.
4
SPEAKER_03
That s not the question, but what s the least amount you ve talked and who is the guest?
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh gosh.
4
SPEAKER_00
the least amount.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, it s usually a sports figure.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you hang back.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I m more because I m more interested in their life and their, you know, everyday life rather than the sport itself.
4
SPEAKER_00
But even though I like sports, I love football.
4
SPEAKER_00
And Will s getting me into soccer.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I find I get into soccer with me.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then, um, but, uh, no, it was Clayton Crenshaw.
4
SPEAKER_00
What s his name?
4
SPEAKER_00
The baseball player for the Dodgers, Cameron.
4
SPEAKER_03
No.
4
SPEAKER_03
Clayton Kershaw.
4
SPEAKER_03
He s like, who s that guy, Cameron?
4
SPEAKER_00
I think it was... Clayton Kershaw.
4
SPEAKER_00
He s super, super great guy.
4
SPEAKER_00
So he was on and I didn t... And he was an early guest.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I was like, I didn t know what to ask because it was baseball and I know how to... I played baseball as a kid, blah, blah, blah.
4
SPEAKER_00
I know the ins and outs.
4
SPEAKER_00
but I didn t really have anything off the top of my head I could ask him.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I Googled while we were talking, and I said, so I read somewhere that you were left-handed.
4
SPEAKER_00
Tell us about that.
4
SPEAKER_00
What an idiot.
4
SPEAKER_00
That was my one question.
4
SPEAKER_03
Good job.
4
SPEAKER_03
You re like, I heard you bought a Jeep once.
4
SPEAKER_03
Walk us through that.
4
SPEAKER_03
Why not lease?
4
SPEAKER_02
If you had to stand somewhere, would you rather stand on the mound or a home plate while you were having lunch?
4
SPEAKER_00
That s exactly, I turned into Chris Farley.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, you did, you were like.
4
SPEAKER_03
Remember when you were left-handed?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Stupid, dumb.
4
SPEAKER_00
By the way, speaking of Paul McCartney, that was one of the great Chris Farley questions of all time.
4
SPEAKER_00
Was it Chris Farley s show on Saturday night?
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, Chris Farley s show.
4
SPEAKER_03
Remember when you were in the Beatles?
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that was cool.
4
SPEAKER_03
You know, the best laugh was, remember when you said, the love you take is equal to the love you make?
4
SPEAKER_03
And Paul goes, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
And he goes, is that true?
4
SPEAKER_03
It s the biggest laugh.
4
SPEAKER_03
And Paul goes, well, I mean, I like the thing.
4
SPEAKER_03
So he goes, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
That was awesome.
4
SPEAKER_03
That was awesome.
4
SPEAKER_00
Wait, tell me now.
4
SPEAKER_00
Now, let me tell me your since you asked me, what s yours?
4
SPEAKER_00
What s the one you talk the least, David, besides this one?
4
SPEAKER_03
Well, the guest has never talked the most.
4
SPEAKER_03
So we, Dane and I talk the whole time.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that s kind of like us.
4
SPEAKER_03
I mean, with three people, how do you do that?
4
SPEAKER_00
It s hard enough with two or three with three hosts.
4
SPEAKER_00
There s a rhythm.
4
SPEAKER_00
We ve been friends for
5
SPEAKER_00
for over 20 years, 25 years.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s all I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s always different.
5
SPEAKER_00
It depends whose guest it is.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know, so like like you feel the responsibility of driving it if it s your guest, which is a fun response because you get you did the research and you look at all in all the stuff.
5
SPEAKER_00
And so I enjoy I enjoy it.
5
SPEAKER_00
I also enjoy getting the shit beat out of me.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, I love it.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s so I. Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
One of the hooks that people like is that you guys all give each other shit, I guess.
5
SPEAKER_02
I guess so.
5
SPEAKER_02
I mean, why do they like it?
5
SPEAKER_02
That s what I m asking.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, by the way, we go to the phones.
5
SPEAKER_00
We wonder the same thing.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s because they know you re really good friends, I guess.
5
SPEAKER_01
And that s what that s what it says.
5
SPEAKER_01
But sometimes Jason Bateman will come up with such interesting questions.
5
SPEAKER_01
I almost I almost don t really need that.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t need anything else to be said because his questions are really sophisticated.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then you re like,
5
SPEAKER_01
More, you come from just the... I m a fan.
5
SPEAKER_01
You re a fan, you re spontaneous.
5
SPEAKER_01
You re like the wallpaper.
5
SPEAKER_01
And you re a good laugher.
5
SPEAKER_01
You re you re so I don t like the wallpaper, but we don t know what they re paying you, Sean.
5
SPEAKER_01
But we d like to try to see if we could sort of tease you over.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
To fly on the wall.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
We ll match it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
I enjoy.
5
SPEAKER_00
It turns out this is the dumbest thing I ve ever said in my life.
5
SPEAKER_00
I enjoy comedy.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I mean, it is true.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I like funny, fast people, you know, like people who are fast.
5
SPEAKER_02
Will is fun.
5
SPEAKER_02
I saw Jason the other night and I saw you across the room, but you were literally like 10 feet away.
5
SPEAKER_02
There s no way to get to you.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, you know, wasn t it?
5
SPEAKER_02
I saw Jason.
5
SPEAKER_02
He s got he s skinnier and he s got a beard now.
5
SPEAKER_02
He looks cool as shit.
5
SPEAKER_00
He s the best because he s doing a show that he s about to film.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, he looked cool.
5
SPEAKER_02
I think you re over there with maybe Justin Theroux.
5
SPEAKER_02
Is that possible?
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
At the Vanity Fair party?
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I didn t see you there.
5
SPEAKER_02
You saw me and looked through me, but that s fine.
5
SPEAKER_02
So what happened was.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s what wallpaper does.
5
SPEAKER_02
No.
5
SPEAKER_02
You were.
5
SPEAKER_02
I m like, who is that?
5
SPEAKER_02
Is that new wallpaper?
5
SPEAKER_02
And then.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I go and I walk through you and you were a ghost, which was.
5
SPEAKER_02
Were you with Arnett?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, we all went together.
5
SPEAKER_00
Me, Jason and Will went together.
5
SPEAKER_02
Oh, gross.
5
SPEAKER_02
You guys all travel together?
5
SPEAKER_02
Hang out together.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it ll blow your mind when the trio is three of a kind.
5
SPEAKER_01
Let me ask you a question about, because it s pretty, like Jason, you know, does Ozarks.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, it s one singular Ozark and he s done with it.
5
SPEAKER_01
And he did the Ozarks, which is going to be the sequel.
5
SPEAKER_01
Sorry, we talk.
5
SPEAKER_01
It doesn t matter.
5
SPEAKER_01
Anyway.
5
SPEAKER_01
There was a cat, it was in a bag, now it s out of the bag.
5
SPEAKER_01
Newsflash.
5
SPEAKER_01
But he may, I mean, it s kind of interesting, like, so you guys all have production companies, which just one observation.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
So you all started to take show business by the reins.
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, you can start one too.
5
SPEAKER_01
People advise us not to.
5
SPEAKER_01
They just, they don t think.
5
SPEAKER_02
They said, we feel like the fun ends here.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
And the creativity and just kind of like the tram ride at Universal.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, they go.
5
SPEAKER_02
Everybody off.
5
SPEAKER_02
Dana and Spade off.
5
SPEAKER_00
We always say it s like it s it s as surprising to us as it is to you that like people even listen because we re just loser doing like exactly what we re doing right now with you guys.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s like we just can t believe people find it interesting enough to to hang in there.
5
SPEAKER_00
And we re so grateful for that, too.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean,
5
SPEAKER_00
And it is kind of fun.
5
SPEAKER_00
It is fun.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, my God.
5
SPEAKER_00
And as to your questions about like schedules and stuff and lining the three of us up, we ve been hanging out already for decades.
5
SPEAKER_00
So it s like it s easy.
5
SPEAKER_00
And we used it as an excuse to see each other, to start the podcast.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, why don t we just start one just because of just because because it s an excuse to see each other while we re in lockdown.
5
SPEAKER_00
And we did like two episodes.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it s six.
5
SPEAKER_00
Then we did 10.
5
SPEAKER_00
Then we did 20.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then here we are.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know,
5
SPEAKER_00
But it was fun.
5
SPEAKER_00
It continues to be the time of our lives.
5
SPEAKER_02
I mean, you re smart because you know how to do that.
5
SPEAKER_02
I wouldn t.
5
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I did a lot of zooms with friends, like the exact same thing, but it never crossed anyone s mind.
5
SPEAKER_02
Like, how would we beam this out?
5
SPEAKER_02
Or I mean, that s just somebody has to know something.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, how did you start this one?
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, right.
5
SPEAKER_00
Same like, hey, let s do it.
5
SPEAKER_02
We knew how we knew what that they were out there, like you were doing it, which was smart.
5
SPEAKER_02
when there weren t that many.
5
SPEAKER_02
And so you were just like, Hey, how does that work?
5
SPEAKER_02
Someone figures it out.
5
SPEAKER_02
And there s kind of like the internet, right?
5
SPEAKER_02
It s like, Hey, how does this work?
5
SPEAKER_02
This is kind of fun.
5
SPEAKER_02
You know, that s all.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
It worked.
5
SPEAKER_02
And there s a lot that don t work.
5
SPEAKER_02
So it s great that you got one that works.
5
SPEAKER_02
Well, thank you.
5
SPEAKER_01
The only I can think is that it s sort of an art form with a small a where the consumer of the art form with a small a is doing something else while they re consuming what we re doing.
5
SPEAKER_01
Predominantly a lot of people are driving or gardening or at the gym.
5
SPEAKER_00
But don t people watch shows like that now and not on their tablet?
5
SPEAKER_00
Everybody s doing something multitasking.
5
SPEAKER_00
Two things, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Isn t that
5
SPEAKER_01
That s why I saw Dune in a movie theater, a stadium theater, and it was incredible, and it s just all this big sound, and I had to turn my phone off.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s only there and in church, phone goes off.
5
SPEAKER_01
And that was revolutionary, because you could be watching a really cool movie, and then someone, bringbring, and then it s like, what?
5
SPEAKER_02
If you watch at home, I found if I watch a movie at home, I will look at my phone, and it s horrible.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, same, same.
5
SPEAKER_02
Because you re not at the movie theater where it s not like this is your one thing.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
So at home, you re kind of like, well, I can always, let me get something to eat.
5
SPEAKER_00
What did you think of Dune, and what did you think of Dune 2?
5
SPEAKER_00
How you doing?
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, Dune.
5
SPEAKER_01
How you doing?
5
SPEAKER_01
I ll do it as Garth.
5
SPEAKER_01
With Dune, because that s a good word for Garth, I saw Dune.
5
SPEAKER_01
They would make it sexual or something.
5
SPEAKER_01
Right.
5
SPEAKER_01
The first Dune was a little convoluted for me.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
I went to Dune 2.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it was in the genre of science fiction fantasy.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s one of the best movies ever made.
5
SPEAKER_00
I 100% agree.
5
SPEAKER_00
But by the way, same director as Arrival.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, really?
5
SPEAKER_01
So it just works on so many levels and it s fantastical.
5
SPEAKER_01
The effects, the sound, I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_01
I ve already seen it twice.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s already good.
5
SPEAKER_02
Then Josh Brolin comes in like halfway through and he s great.
5
SPEAKER_02
He s such a stud.
5
SPEAKER_02
He is the best.
5
SPEAKER_02
Zendaya s great.
5
SPEAKER_02
The Kid was great.
5
SPEAKER_02
I mean, for such a big movie.
5
SPEAKER_01
The Kid.
5
SPEAKER_01
Hey, Timothee Chalamet, what s up?
5
SPEAKER_02
He is, he s young for me.
5
SPEAKER_01
Hey, man.
5
SPEAKER_01
Listen to me.
5
SPEAKER_00
Directors like directors like, hey, can you bring the kid around?
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, not kind of trailer.
5
SPEAKER_01
Did they put an effect on Timothy s voice?
5
SPEAKER_01
He would he would get mad.
5
SPEAKER_01
Trust not what I m always speaking, whatever lane.
5
SPEAKER_01
Why?
5
SPEAKER_00
You know, it s like, how about when they would like him and his mom would have that kind of power where they can Jedi master somebody s mind, you know?
5
SPEAKER_00
And they like the door.
5
SPEAKER_00
And you d be like, what?
5
SPEAKER_00
And she d be like, don t touch his arm.
5
SPEAKER_00
Rip it off.
5
SPEAKER_00
Kill him.
5
SPEAKER_00
And you re like, wait, what s happening?
5
SPEAKER_00
It was crazy.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s just well done.
5
SPEAKER_01
David, that d be a great movie for you to watch in a theater.
5
SPEAKER_01
Go to the drama.
5
SPEAKER_01
I saw it.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s what I m saying.
5
SPEAKER_01
You can chime in.
5
SPEAKER_02
I like they re so scared of the sand snakes.
5
SPEAKER_02
Then at the end, it s like H.R.
5
SPEAKER_02
Puff and stuff.
5
SPEAKER_02
And they re like, hey, we re all flying around on sand snake.
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, I love they re they re they re two miles long and you ve got to two ice picks.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then you stand on this thing is two miles long and command it.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s a really low.
5
SPEAKER_00
I didn t know there are golden retrievers.
5
SPEAKER_01
The brain capacity of this thing.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s as big as an aircraft character.
5
SPEAKER_00
But it s pretty, pretty cool.
5
SPEAKER_00
But it s unbelievable.
5
SPEAKER_00
Want to ride one?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_00
Hop on.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I m getting one.
5
SPEAKER_01
Universal Studios has already got them made.
5
SPEAKER_01
They just haven t got all the electronics figured out.
5
SPEAKER_01
But you ll get on it.
5
SPEAKER_02
And were you around for the first dune, Sean?
5
SPEAKER_02
We re going to let you go.
5
SPEAKER_02
But were you around for the first dune, which was sting?
5
SPEAKER_00
Was I never saw it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Scotty saw it.
5
SPEAKER_00
And he was you know, he likes it for nostalgic reasons.
5
SPEAKER_00
But he said these are far Dana.
5
SPEAKER_00
You must have seen it.
5
SPEAKER_01
I saw it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Sting wore basically a diaper in Dune in 1982.
5
SPEAKER_01
I remember that image, though.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Just a white diaper.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yes, you do.
5
SPEAKER_01
Gay jokes.
5
SPEAKER_01
Incredibly tame.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s the only one so far.
5
SPEAKER_00
Gay jokes.
5
SPEAKER_00
Are you offended by gay jokes?
5
SPEAKER_00
No, I encourage them.
5
SPEAKER_00
I encourage them.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I had one, I had two that I stopped doing.
5
SPEAKER_01
Should I turn them behind?
5
SPEAKER_01
I stopped doing them because I just thought.
5
SPEAKER_00
No, I think if you make them like to me, we re all friends and well and Jason are two of my closest friends.
5
SPEAKER_00
It means you re just close.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, yeah, I can make fun of your hair, your car, whatever.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
Off limits.
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, it also, I little bit and we, yeah, when
6
SPEAKER_01
If someone is comfortable with certain types of jokes, whether they be racial or whatever, usually it means they re the opposite of someone who s racist.
6
SPEAKER_01
They re just like, because it s so ridiculous.
6
SPEAKER_01
Or gay jokes are so ridiculous, is the stereotype, that if they re easy with it because it s ridiculous...
6
SPEAKER_01
Well, hope this is coming off right or we could, this screen could go to play.
6
SPEAKER_02
No, because you re talking to a gay person.
6
SPEAKER_02
I just think it s, all it depends on is the messenger, who s telling the joke and how is it intended.
6
SPEAKER_00
Right.
6
SPEAKER_00
Also, who s not turned on by staying in a diaper?
6
SPEAKER_00
I am.
6
SPEAKER_00
I mean, that s, that s a funny thing is that s what I think you d like.
6
SPEAKER_00
I go,
6
SPEAKER_00
We d like that.
6
SPEAKER_00
Right.
6
SPEAKER_01
But but I don t know if it s Hollywood folklore, but he made a doo doo in the diaper and they said, we got to change it.
6
SPEAKER_01
And he goes, dude, that s that is not my diaper.
6
SPEAKER_01
I do.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m going full circle back.
6
SPEAKER_01
I got it.
6
SPEAKER_02
I got my diaper.
6
SPEAKER_02
Somebody somebody comes in here.
6
SPEAKER_02
Somebody come in here, poops in my diaper.
6
SPEAKER_02
I don t know who it is, but that s what they ve been doing for years.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
6
SPEAKER_01
I ll be watching you, every breath you take.
6
SPEAKER_01
Hey, you could do a song with that.
6
SPEAKER_02
Thank you, I ll try.
6
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
6
SPEAKER_00
Get that guy on Broadway.
6
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, he could sing, he could dance, he could do comedy.
6
SPEAKER_01
What can he do?
6
SPEAKER_01
He could do a sub assault.
6
SPEAKER_01
He could play.
6
SPEAKER_01
How about this?
6
SPEAKER_01
A question for you.
6
SPEAKER_01
You ve done it all.
6
SPEAKER_01
Is there a movie fantasy for you?
6
SPEAKER_01
A role?
6
SPEAKER_01
Would you like to put prosthetics on and be like Gary Oldman?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh,
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I mean, it s kind of like sketch comedy.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s kind of like character actors like Philip Seymour Hoffman, Meryl Streep, those kind of people who can kind of transform into people.
6
SPEAKER_02
I love that stuff.
6
SPEAKER_02
I love try.
6
SPEAKER_02
I may fail miserably, but I like trying at least.
6
SPEAKER_02
I think it s fun, right?
6
SPEAKER_02
Well, you re doing good.
6
SPEAKER_02
Thanks, you guys.
6
SPEAKER_02
I love you both very, very much.
6
SPEAKER_01
Thank you, Sean.
6
SPEAKER_01
Sean Hayes has been our guest, and let me tell you, nobody s funnier than this guy.
6
SPEAKER_01
He s the top of the box, smartless everywhere you find your podcast, but they don t need my help.
6
SPEAKER_01
They re up to chance.
6
SPEAKER_01
Nobody beats Joe Rogan, but they give him a run for his money.
6
SPEAKER_01
Call your daddy.
6
SPEAKER_02
I wish I could.
6
SPEAKER_00
Okay, thank you, Sean.
6
SPEAKER_00
Thanks, you guys.
6
SPEAKER_00
Good to see you, buddy.
6
SPEAKER_00
Hope to see you.
6
SPEAKER_00
Bye, buddy.
6
SPEAKER_00
Love you.
6
SPEAKER_00
That was great.
6
SPEAKER_00
Love you.
6
SPEAKER_00
This has been a presentation of Odyssey.
6
SPEAKER_00
Please follow, subscribe, leave a like, a review, all this stuff.
6
SPEAKER_00
Smash that button, whatever it is, wherever you get your podcasts.
6
SPEAKER_00
Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss, Berman of Odyssey, Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment, and Heather Santoro.
6
SPEAKER_00
The show s lead producer is Greg Holtzman.