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 Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine, hosted by me, Danielle Robay.
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And me, Simone Boyce.
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Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.
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I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side.
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You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice that they want to share.
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 Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart.
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Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side.
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 At one of the most famous restaurants in the world, there's a table in the corner where the most incredible conversations on the planet are happening every week with owner Ruthie Rogers and amazing guests like Martha Stewart, Jimmy Fallon, and Paul McCartney.
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 We've saved you a seat.
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Ruthie's Table 4.
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Listen to Ruthie's Table 4 on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
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 A new season of Bridgerton is here.
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And with it, a new season of Bridgerton, the official podcast.
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I'm your host, Gabby Collins.
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And this season, we are bringing fans even deeper into the ton.
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Watch season three of the Shondaland series on Netflix.
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Then fall in love all over again by listening to Bridgerton, the official podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Subscribe to catch a new episode every Thursday.
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SPEAKER_07
 It was such a successful defense mechanism for me in the worst way.
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And it set me back so much.
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So I try to parent with this idea that what comes up in you is there.
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And if you try to push things down, they'll stay.
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They're there to teach you something.
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They're there to tell you something.
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So just listen to what it is and then it'll move through.
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 I wanted to start off by asking, considering what's been going on in the world for the past few months, what's the latest adventure you went on with Moses and Apple?
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And what have you been doing to make that time special and meaningful?
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Well, as you can imagine, it's been certainly surreal for us.
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And I think for the teenagers in the world, it's been
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 it's been very hard for them, you know?
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I think they were, especially, my son is 14, my daughter's 16, and they were just sort of entering this phase of autonomy and agency and self-exploration.
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And I think at that age, you get so much of that from the world being reflected back to you, even if it's just, you know, oh, I didn't know that I felt this way about this kind of food or person or
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 you know they hear something in I don't know in kids here in church or I don't know it's like you go out and you or you have an interaction with another kid that's painful and these are all such important stepping stones for growth and I feel bad for them you know I was they started school today and they're in front of the computer all day and I just thought this is
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 this might not be sustainable for us all as parents of kids, you know, just this, it's very solitary in a way that is not a meditation, you know, it's like a bit punitive.
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So when we all first went into lockdown, there was very little we could do.
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And I was also impressed by how quickly they were able to
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 you know, kids are so resilient and they were able to have a lot of agility around their kind of mental strength and the way they were like, okay, well, this was hard and now this is life.
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So we're just gonna carry on.
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And I think, so some of our adventures were really around cooking together as a family and trying new crazy stuff and pushing ourselves at the dinner table to have,
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 more unusual conversations, longer conversations.
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And we've just become very centered around the home.
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And now we're, we have a home on the East coast, which is about a 10 minute walk to the ocean.
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And so we've been able, I think we feel that nature has given us a lot more scope in our lives.
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Like,
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 My last literal adventure that I went on with Moses yesterday, the day before yesterday, I took him to the beach and we swam and he surfed and I just watched him surf and it was very simple and it wasn't like some crazy adventure, but especially within the context of being confined, everything kind of feels like an adventure these days.
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 Yeah, what a beautiful answer.
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Do you feel that?
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What do you think has been their biggest fear at this time?
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Because I've heard from a lot, and I'm not a parent, but I know a lot of my listeners are, and I also know that a lot of friends who are parents have talked to me about their children's fears right now.
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What's been their fear, and what do you think's been the most useful thing that you've been able to do to support them through that?
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 you know, no matter where kids are or what they're going through, I think there's a lot of similarities in what that age group specifically, it's probably one of the hardest age groups to be going through this.
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I think they've felt the ability to, or, you know, the opposite of fear.
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And, you know, because when you're home with your parents, there's that inherent, you know, feeling of safety.
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I think that there has been
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 an incredible relief for them in not having FOMO.
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There's nothing going on.
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So there's no social anxiety.
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SPEAKER_07
And I think if I've observed them having any fear, I don't know if I would characterize this fear as much as they're really trying to process what our generation is all going through in terms of
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 the social injustice that's defined who we are as a culture and that we've all been participants of wittingly or unwittingly.
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And it's a very big thing for them to unpack.
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I think they think of things so differently.
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They've been socialized so differently.
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Hi, Apple.
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Speak of the devil.
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And so I think the fear has, there's been,
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 I wouldn't say a concrete thing that they can point to and say, I'm afraid of this, but I think that they're feeling this tremendous seismic shift happen.
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And I think that energetically it causes some feelings of like, what does this mean?
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And where are we going?
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And, you know, why have you guys so badly for us?
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And, you know, it's sort of like they're having these bigger,
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 existential fears as opposed to, you know what I mean?
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Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
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I've heard you say before that you've said to your kids, don't resist it.
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The more you resist it, the more it persists.
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And I wonder what you think the opposite of resistance is or why you feel that.
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I feel like there's such a great resistance
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 in humans in general towards pain and challenges and struggle.
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What about that statement feels so true to you and what are you trying to do instead of resist that, that feels right to you?
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I don't think that we were brought up with a language for discomfort, pain, embarrassment,
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 we were taught to sublimate those feelings.
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We were taught that, you know, boys don't cry.
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We were taught that, you know, hold your head up high.
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Don't be in a bad mood.
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You know, I want to see you smile at the dinner table.
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And we, it's so deep in us, this tendency
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 to override our true feelings with this dissonance of, no, I'm fine.
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And we've also been taught that bad feelings feel terrible as opposed to having an understanding
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 okay, this feels bad.
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And it's temporary.
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Like I'm a human being.
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So there are going to be days that I experienced a lot of pain, or sadness or confusion.
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SPEAKER_07
And we weren't given the language to just let it pass through, you know, like that great roomy poem about the guest house that, you know, just
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 Each human being is a guest house and different feelings are gonna knock on the door every day.
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Just let them in and don't judge them and don't criticize them.
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Just let them do what they're there to do and they're gonna move out.
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And I noticed in myself when I resisted
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 pain or most importantly for me when I resisted vulnerability, which felt so painful to me to be vulnerable.
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And it's still something that I work on.
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I still really struggle with true vulnerability because it was such a successful defense mechanism for me in the worst way.
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And it set me back so much.
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So I, I tried to parent with this idea that
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 what comes up in you is there.
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And if you try to push things down, they'll stay.
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They're there to teach you something.
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They're there to tell you something.
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So just listen to what it is and then it'll move through.
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But you know, they're teenagers.
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So right now they basically just think I'm an idiot.
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SPEAKER_04
Yeah, that's a beautiful answer.
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But the reason I'm asking these questions is to remind myself that my kids will never listen to me.
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And it's a good thing to remember that.
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 My kids will never think I'm cool or relevant or interesting or useful.
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SPEAKER_04
But that's a really, it's a really beautiful answer.
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And I'm really glad you shared that Rumi poem as well, because I think, you know, it was, what you shared is so powerful that we just keep these emotions and feelings trapped within ourselves, or we don't let them in.
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And then they have to- We don't give ourselves permission, you know?
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We don't give ourselves permission to,
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 feel those ugly things, you know, like Rumi says, it could be jealousy, envy, like these things that we're taught to think, no, good people don't feel this way.
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And I think that it cultivates more pain by not just letting these feelings come through us.
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SPEAKER_04
 Yeah, absolutely.
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Absolutely.
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SPEAKER_04
When we were talking about in, uh, our interview together on, on your incredible podcast, uh, you, you mentioned how, you know, obviously you've had so much success that you've earned, uh, at a younger age and then continue to redefine, reinvent and continue to create incredible success in your life.
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But you were saying that, you know, there was a time where you got to a point where, where you just felt like things had to change or things had to shift.
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 What is it like?
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And the reason why I ask this is I feel like today it's happening more and more, whether it's with TikTok or Instagram, or what does it feel like to be extremely successful at a young age?
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SPEAKER_04
 And, and, and when I say extremely successful, literally top of the world, top of your game at such a young age for you, you know, winning most prestigious award that exists in the world at such a young age, like what does that actually feel like?
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Like what goes through your mind and, and what did it feel like then?
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And how does it feel now in hindsight?
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Uh, and, and how can other people learn from it?
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How can other young people who are experiencing almost astronomical success at a young age in different ways,
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SPEAKER_07
 Well, at the time it felt very overwhelming.
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SPEAKER_07
I really did not have a good sense of who I was yet.
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SPEAKER_07
You know, when I won the Oscar, I assume you're referring to that award instead of my high school gymnastics award.
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SPEAKER_04
 No, that's the one I re-sensed.
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I was thinking about the high school gymnastics one.
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SPEAKER_04
No, of course I was talking about the Oscars, of course.
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I didn't think I even needed to say what it was.
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Everyone knows it's iconic.
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It's iconic and amazing.
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SPEAKER_07
It was incredibly overwhelming and...
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 And, you know, I was going through all kinds of stuff emotionally at the time.
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My father was dealing with cancer.
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My grandfather was dying of cancer.
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Both men I was incredibly close to.
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SPEAKER_07
 And a few things, you know, I just, as I said, I didn't know myself.
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SPEAKER_07
So I didn't, I hadn't built the internal infrastructure that I have now to deal with so much projection and energy, which, you know, is a tool or a series of tools that I had to figure out and build for myself.
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SPEAKER_07
You know, when you're so visible in the public eye and so many people have so many opinions about you,
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 you know, there's sort of a system that I figured out for myself.
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I remember when, after I won, I crashed.
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I was staying with my parents in Santa Monica, California and I got into bed and I basically was in bed for three weeks.
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I was incredibly depressed and I had no energy and
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SPEAKER_07
 you know, the psychologist that I saw at the time was saying, you know, this is normal because you have this big kind of apex and now you're just experiencing the counterbalance and everything.
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SPEAKER_07
But I think what I was really, it wasn't adrenaline.
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SPEAKER_07
I think, I mean, although partially, of course it was adrenaline.
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SPEAKER_07
I think part of it was the realization that I had been working so hard towards something to validate my existence and to prove my worthiness.
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 to myself and to, you know, as you say in your book, to fulfill the perceptions that other people might have of me.
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SPEAKER_07
Um, and then if you reach the top and you're still you and you still have all this undealt with stuff in your life that you haven't looked at and you are just a person and
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SPEAKER_07
 kind of winning that accolade doesn't fix anything, you're like, oh, okay.
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SPEAKER_07
So, you know, it's like I said one time, really, you know, when you read the story of the golden calf in the Bible, and it's like, you have this false idol, you know, and it turns out to be a false idol, but you don't know it until, you know, you know it.
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SPEAKER_07
 And so it was a great thing to happen because, you know, the best thing about winning an Oscar was realizing that it didn't mean anything and that I had to set myself on a course where I, first of all, started to unpack why it was that I felt the need to drive myself so hard and why I
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SPEAKER_07
 you know, what was the impetus behind having to achieve?
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SPEAKER_07
And, you know, I think I am a high achiever.
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SPEAKER_07
I think I love to work and I love to explore and discover and push boundaries and do stuff, but there was a part of it that was fueled by something that was unhealthy and unhealed.
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SPEAKER_07
And that it opened up the path to healing for me.
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SPEAKER_11
 When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it's powerful.
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SPEAKER_02
That's where The Bright Side comes in.
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SPEAKER_02
A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that's bringing you a daily dose of joy.
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SPEAKER_02
I'm Danielle Robay.
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SPEAKER_02
And I'm Simone Boyce.
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SPEAKER_11
Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters.
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SPEAKER_11
We've covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy, but The Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new and get into some friendly debates.
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SPEAKER_02
 That's right.
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SPEAKER_02
Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side.
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SPEAKER_11
We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts and listeners like you, whether it's relationships, friend advice or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions.
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SPEAKER_11
We'll talk through it all together.
0
SPEAKER_02
Listen to the bright side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
0
SPEAKER_05
 A new season of Bridgerton is here.
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SPEAKER_05
And with it, a new season of Bridgerton, the official podcast.
0
SPEAKER_05
I'm your host, Gabrielle Collins.
0
SPEAKER_05
And this season, we are bringing fans even deeper into the ton.
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SPEAKER_05
Colin Bridgerton has returned from his travels abroad.
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SPEAKER_05
Is Betrothal written in the stars for the eligible bachelor?
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SPEAKER_05
Meanwhile, the ton is reverberating with speculation of who holds Lady Whistledown's pen.
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SPEAKER_05
We're discussing it all.
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SPEAKER_05
 I sit down with Nicola Coughlin, Luke Newton, Shonda Rhimes, and more to offer an exclusive peek behind the scenes of each episode of the new season.
0
SPEAKER_05
Watch season three of the Shondaland series on Netflix.
0
SPEAKER_05
Then, fall in love all over again by listening to Bridgerton, the official podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
0
SPEAKER_05
Subscribe to catch a new episode every Thursday.
0
SPEAKER_10
 Guess what, Mango?
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SPEAKER_10
What's that, Will?
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SPEAKER_10
So iHeart is giving us a whole minute to promote our podcast, Part-Time Genius.
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SPEAKER_09
I know.
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SPEAKER_09
That's why I spent my whole week composing a haiku for the occasion.
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SPEAKER_09
It's about my emotional journey in podcasting over the last seven years, and it's called Earthquake House.
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SPEAKER_10
Mango, I'm going to cut you off right there.
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SPEAKER_09
Why don't we just tell people about our show instead?
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SPEAKER_09
Yeah, that's a better idea.
0
SPEAKER_09
 So every week on Part-Time Genius, we feed our curiosity by answering the world's most important questions.
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SPEAKER_09
Things like, when did America start dialing 911?
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SPEAKER_09
Is William Shatner's best acting work in Esperanto?
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SPEAKER_09
Also, what happened to Esperanto?
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SPEAKER_10
 Plus, we cover questions like how Chinese is your Chinese food?
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SPEAKER_10
How do dollar stores stay in business?
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SPEAKER_10
And of course, is there an Illuminati of cheese?
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SPEAKER_09
There absolutely is.
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SPEAKER_09
And we are risking our lives by talking about it.
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SPEAKER_09
But if you love mind-blowing facts, incredible history and really bad jokes, make your brains happy and tune in to Part-Time Genius.
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SPEAKER_10
Listen to Part-Time Genius on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
0
SPEAKER_04
 Thank you for sharing that it's it's so it's so useful a hearing you say that and and so vulnerably and deeply as well so tell me about where it.
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SPEAKER_04
 Have you then, do you think now you're in a space where, and I really believe this is a really important concept and I really want to hear what you have to say about it.
0
SPEAKER_04
Do you feel you found a way where you can continue to be ambitious and driven, but from a more healed and healthy place?
0
SPEAKER_04
As you said before, it was from an unhealed and unhealthy place.
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SPEAKER_04
Is there a way of being healthy and healed ambitious?
0
SPEAKER_07
 It's so funny you ask this because I was literally having this conversation with my husband a few days ago.
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SPEAKER_07
And I don't know the answer because what I sort of got to was it's so clear to me that ambition, like true diehard type A ambition
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SPEAKER_07
 I don't think comes from a place where, you know, like in you talk about in your book, in those moments of like true peace and soulfulness and unity and oneness, like it doesn't come from that.
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SPEAKER_07
It definitely comes from the idea that you have to prove something.
0
SPEAKER_07
And so that's an injury.
0
SPEAKER_07
 I do think there are exceptions and there are some people who have something within them that's so, there's such a channel for something and they're so, you know, like Mozart or the Dalai Lama or, you know, like, or, you know, some incredible painter or, you know, Da Vinci is like, clearly this person is a channel and this was coming through.
0
SPEAKER_07
And I think that's also,
0
SPEAKER_07
 a facet of it, but I think in my experience, there's this amazing connection with something greater, and then there's injury, and that combination leads to this very driven person.
0
SPEAKER_04
 Yeah, wow, I was not expecting that answer and it's opened up so many beautiful avenues and that's amazing that you were, but just the fact that you were having that conversation with your husband.
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SPEAKER_04
 you know, that shows that there's such a, a beautiful reflection around it and, and how important it is to you, which is, which is wonderful because it's almost like, it's so easy to not have to think about it, but to have it in conversation and trying to figure it out.
0
SPEAKER_04
I think that's where most of us truly are.
0
SPEAKER_04
Like, I think we're always, and I think if we would have this,
0
SPEAKER_04
 hunch that if we were to sit down with Da Vinci or Mozart or Picasso or any of these incredible individuals, I think we'd hear the same.
0
SPEAKER_04
I think that whether it was their humility or their reality, I think they'd tell us very similar things because
0
SPEAKER_04
 it's almost like that's where the magic happens of trying to figure it out.
0
SPEAKER_04
And I guess what was that point that let you reconfigure or made you reconfigure and let you reconfigure?
0
SPEAKER_04
What was that journey like when you specifically pointed out 40 years old, but was it before then?
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SPEAKER_04
Was it earlier?
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SPEAKER_04
What was that where you were just like, okay, now I understand there's another purpose for me here.
0
SPEAKER_07
 I think it was, it happened in steps.
0
SPEAKER_07
So when I was 27 and I had won the Oscar the previous year and I was, you know, super successful, my dad sat me down.
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SPEAKER_07
He was like the love of my life.
0
SPEAKER_07
He sat me down and he's like, I need you to know something.
0
SPEAKER_07
He's like,
0
SPEAKER_07
 getting really weird and you're kind of an asshole.
0
SPEAKER_07
Like you're behaving weirdly.
0
SPEAKER_07
I don't like what I'm seeing.
0
SPEAKER_07
I don't like where this is going.
0
SPEAKER_07
You're buying into this whole thing.
0
SPEAKER_07
And it was a really brutal conversation for me in the moment because, you know, fame is such a weird warping thing and it happens
0
SPEAKER_07
 in a very insidious and incremental way.
0
SPEAKER_07
And you just think you're you, but the reality is people keep removing all the obstacles and the obstacles in life are what make you, keep you like close to yourself.
0
SPEAKER_04
Wow.
0
SPEAKER_07
So he was right.
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SPEAKER_07
And I was, I had really hurt feelings.
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SPEAKER_07
And then I was like, oh no, he's right.
0
SPEAKER_07
Like I see what he's,
0
SPEAKER_07
 saying, and through that conversation, a seed was planted around, like, why did this happen to me?
0
SPEAKER_07
Why am I this person in the world?
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SPEAKER_07
Why am I here?
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SPEAKER_07
What am I actually meant to do?
0
SPEAKER_07
And if I'm not, you know,
0
SPEAKER_07
 if I'm not supposed to integrate with this fame and this sort of projection, like, why did it happen to me?
0
SPEAKER_07
And why am I like, what is the purpose of all this?
0
SPEAKER_07
So that was kind of the first piece.
0
SPEAKER_07
And then he got sick and then, or no, then he got started to get really unwell.
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SPEAKER_07
And then I found yoga.
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SPEAKER_07
And then I started on this path of trying to figure out what the point was.
0
SPEAKER_07
 And then he died when I was 30.
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SPEAKER_07
And then I really got, it was like I just got swallowed by grief for a long time.
0
SPEAKER_07
And it sort of separated me from that journey, you know, of, and then, cause I was, I just felt like I was trying to cope and keep my head above water.
0
SPEAKER_07
And then luckily I also had my two incredible children in that decade, but towards the end of that decade,
0
SPEAKER_07
 And it really sort of coincided with the realization that my marriage was over.
0
SPEAKER_07
I kind of was struck by this lightning bolt.
0
SPEAKER_07
I actually just wrote this piece about it for British Vogue about like looking back on consciously uncoupling.
0
SPEAKER_07
And I realized in the piece, well, I wrote about it.
0
SPEAKER_07
It was just sort of like, I knew it was over and I couldn't undo, I couldn't unhear the truth of that.
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SPEAKER_07
 And that started to really put me into, because I was then forced with taking on so much pain and so much redefinition, and it really put me on this path of trying to divorce in a different way and show up for my children in a way that I had never thought imaginable, et cetera, et cetera.
0
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 I started to realize as a part of that, how much I had lived my life to fulfill the expectations of other people.
0
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And I don't know, something I think happens around the age of 40,
0
SPEAKER_07
 where I always call it a software upgrade.
0
SPEAKER_07
It's like, it just happens and you can utilize it and amplify it or not, but it will happen to you.
0
SPEAKER_07
And for me, it took the form of like any misidentification I had about myself, any way that I was holding myself in a way that was out of integrity just exploded.
0
SPEAKER_07
And I was just, I thought, okay, you know, I'm gonna
0
SPEAKER_07
 I'm going to follow this path and see where it takes me.
0
SPEAKER_06
 like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.
0
SPEAKER_08
We're back with season two of the podcast, which means more opportunities to glow up and become a more responsible and better adult, one life lesson at a time.
0
SPEAKER_06
And let me just tell you, this show is just as much for us as it is for you.
0
SPEAKER_06
So let's figure this stuff out together.
0
SPEAKER_06
This season, we're going to talk about whether or not we're financially and emotionally ready for dog ownership.
0
SPEAKER_08
We're going to figure out the benefits of a high yield
1
SPEAKER_02
 savings account.
1
SPEAKER_00
And what exactly are the duties of being a member of the wedding party?
1
SPEAKER_02
All that plus so much more.
1
SPEAKER_00
Let's learn about all of it and then some.
1
SPEAKER_00
Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
1
SPEAKER_02
When the Taliban banned music in Afghanistan, millions were plunged into silence.
1
SPEAKER_02
 radios were smashed, cassettes burned.
1
SPEAKER_02
You could be beaten or jailed or killed for breaking the rules.
1
SPEAKER_02
And yet, Afghans did it anyway.
1
SPEAKER_02
This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.
1
SPEAKER_02
The danger they endured.
1
SPEAKER_01
They said my head should be cut off.
1
SPEAKER_02
 the joy they brought to the nation.
1
SPEAKER_01
You're free completely.
1
SPEAKER_02
No one is there to destroy you.
1
SPEAKER_02
I'm John Legend.
1
SPEAKER_02
Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
1
SPEAKER_04
 Parents, ready to discover a new educational and interactive podcast for kids?
1
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Join Stories for Kids by Lingokids, where episodes are packed with fun activities.
1
SPEAKER_04
Right, Elliot?
1
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Oh, yes!
1
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We learned how to recycle at the beach.
1
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 That was great fun!
1
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Cowie, what do you say?
1
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It was!
1
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And that time when we did the science experiment and Billy made raisins dance!
1
SPEAKER_04
That is so cool, Billy!
1
SPEAKER_04
He did!
1
SPEAKER_04
Not to mention when a certain Elliot took up swimming classes with Lisa.
1
SPEAKER_04
That was me!
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Bet you can't catch me!
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1
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 All this fun and more in our Stories for Kids.
1
SPEAKER_04
Lingo Kids Stories for Kids is now available on Story Button, the kid-friendly device for screenless podcast listening.
1
SPEAKER_04
Listen to Stories for Kids on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
1
SPEAKER_03
 You just said so many profound things.
1
SPEAKER_03
So many, genuinely, incredibly, the biggest one that really stuck with me was you said that, you know, everyone tries to make your life easier and removes all the obstacles, but your obstacles are the ones that keep you closest to who you are.
1
SPEAKER_03
 That's, uh, so counterintuitive, but, but so true in the sense that we almost think like when our lives are removed of obstacles, that's when we are going in the right direction.
1
SPEAKER_03
But actually you're so right that we have to keep checking in with ourselves when things aren't working out or when things are going wrong, where there's all these challenges.
1
SPEAKER_03
Like you just explained it 30 years old, like losing, you know,
1
SPEAKER_03
 losing a parent, losing a partner, you know, those kind of like, just such formative experiences are the experiences that make us check in with ourselves.
1
SPEAKER_03
You know, what was it at that time, in effect, going back to our interview, is that what gave you the courage to put the last raft down and go, oh no, I'm going to be brave enough now in my life
1
SPEAKER_03
 to put on a new set of, you know, not only to become an entrepreneur, but to parent in this way, to move on with my life in this way.
1
SPEAKER_03
What was that that gave you that courage and bravery?
1
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It just felt like life or death.
1
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You know, it just didn't feel like a choice.
1
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And I knew that it was going to be hard.
1
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But I think each of us, when we, we have as human beings, this incredible gift that
1
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 if we really tune into ourselves and we really listen to the truth, which by the way, can be incredibly painful and bring with it the need for change that is going to be painful for other people.
1
SPEAKER_01
But there is no other way to live.
1
SPEAKER_01
And especially women, we've gotten this
1
SPEAKER_01
 memo somewhere along the way that we come last and that everybody else's needs need to come before ours and we can't really tune in and listen to our absolute truth because sometimes it's in discord with our reality and for me and it's it's still a process and I still have so much to learn and I feel like I have so much development left but
1
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 as I go through life and the harder things and the more wonderful, wonderful things, like just having the courage to listen.
1
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Cause sometimes the truth is not what you want to hear.
1
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And that's can be very, very scary and very revolutionary.
1
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And, you know, it's funny.
1
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It also, I was doing a movie around that time where
1
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 I was playing a country singer, and so I was doing a lot of voice lessons.
1
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And this thing kept happening to me.
1
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I was living in London, and I had this amazing voice coach named Carrie.
1
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And this thing kept happening to me that when I really started to sing and let it come from my heart, I burst into tears.
1
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And I kept crying.
1
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It was so embarrassing.
1
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 And she kept saying, it's okay.
1
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And in England, you're not allowed to cry.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don't know if you know that.
1
SPEAKER_03
I was born and raised in London.
1
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So I was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry.
1
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This is mortifying.
1
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And she was like, no, this is good and let it come through.
1
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And I started to question as I do, because I'm
1
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 a pathologically curious person.
1
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Like, why am I crying when I'm singing?
1
SPEAKER_01
And it all came back to the same thing.
1
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You know, the repression of many, many truths that I had accumulated over my life.
1
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And I just committed to unearthing them.
1
SPEAKER_03
That's, it's so amazing that you just said that because that was literally my next thought that was in my head was I was going to ask you which of your roles has the biggest impact to you off screen.
1
SPEAKER_03
 I was literally just about to ask you that.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, does that feel like it?
1
SPEAKER_03
Was that the one that kind of, because you were having to sing and because you were crying, is that the one or are there others that?
1
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That one had a huge impact on me.
1
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Probably, you know, probably more than any other.
1
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It's so funny, I never thought about it until right now, but that connected me with myself in a way that, yeah, gosh, you're right, that's the one.
1
SPEAKER_01
 Interesting.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, so interesting.
1
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I mean, it's so beautiful when work and life can be connected or when you can try and start to see how an experience in the workplace, whether you're singing, acting, or whether you're working in an office, there's so many experiences where we always have that opportunity to turn it inward.
1
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They happen every day.
1
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I mean, now that I work in an office every day, well, I used to pre-COVID,
1
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 and you see how things happen when people interact at work and there are triggers that happen within people and we're not, we haven't trained ourselves to say, hmm, okay, I wonder why that's triggering.
1
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You know, we lash out or we feel this isn't fair or, you know, so,
1
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 What I've seen across a lot of industry that I've worked in is that all of those difficult moments where you're asked to reach deeper and find more vulnerability or more forgiveness or to have the courage to be like, what am I seeing in this person that's driving me so crazy about myself?
1
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 we all have that opportunity every day, you know, to excavate all this stuff.
1
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It's just more work, but it actually ends up being so rewarding.
1
SPEAKER_01
And you end up leaving at the end of the day, instead of being exhausted and like, I can't believe this fricking person said this at the coffee, you know, it's like,
1
SPEAKER_01
 Okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, why, why, why did it make me feel this way?
1
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And, you know, because there's always a reason and there's always something underneath it that we can heal.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
1
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Why is such a great question.
1
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And, and it shifts us from what we were speaking about before, like it shifts us from ego into understanding.
1
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 straight away.
1
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That's right.
1
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Like you said, like our desire to be triggered or lash out is all coming from our ego or anger or almost like an attack and defense mode.
1
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And the mode that that question that you just said puts us into is understanding and compassion, which is which is such a better place to come from.
1
SPEAKER_03
What was the what was your how how did your work as an actor and
1
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 your industry experience there kind of shift over to then building Goop.
1
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Like where was that?
1
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Was there an entrepreneur spirit that you already have?
1
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What does that mean?
1
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And what was that then the why of the reasoning behind Goop and everything that came from that?
1
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I think that I definitely had an entrepreneurial spirit.
1
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I think I was raised by
1
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 parents who were had a lot of agency and a lot of drive themselves and especially my father who had Come from you know a background of not a lot of means It was he was so driven to kind of make something of himself and in that American dream sort of way
1
SPEAKER_01
 And I grew up watching that kind of drive and work ethic and pride and then manifestation and what can come from that kind of focus and that kind of intention.
1
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And I found it very inspiring that I saw my mother, you know, doing these amazing plays and playing these great roles in Chekhov and Tennessee Williams.
1
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And she was so empowered and
1
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 And I had so much respect for that.
1
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And so it was sort of a convergence of those things.
1
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And I was very much raised with the notion that you can be anything you want to be and you have to do it yourself.
1
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So those two things were very galvanizing and also very, like the possibility of freedom is there.
1
SPEAKER_01
It's like, if you believe in yourself,
1
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 And you'll have a lot of detractors along the way, but if you can truly believe in yourself and sort of see the bullseye and keep it in your sights, like that's what I was raised to believe.
1
SPEAKER_01
And it's a very exhilarating feeling.
1
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It's a very powerful feeling.
1
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And I believe that anybody can channel that feeling and manifest for themselves, absolutely.
1
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 I thought that the way you did that was in the arts because that's what I had seen.
1
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So I had seen my mother act and be so empowered.
1
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And I'd seen my father be so driven and cultivate this amazing career in television and writing.
1
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And so I thought, well, I'll just, I will just want to be like my mom.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then, you know, I had all this success and it was very,
1
SPEAKER_01
 uh strange in a way because I didn't feel I didn't necessarily feel like I was like what if this isn't my calling and then um and then I took off a number of years when I had my kids I was very very lucky to be able to do that and then I wanted to do something else and I wanted to
1
SPEAKER_01
 find some way to reach people or inspire people with the power of their own curiosity and to try to create a platform where asking questions was permissible and, you know, pursuing the things in life that made you feel optimized in some way, you know, and it could be
1
SPEAKER_01
 It could be in some great philosophical kind of light bulb way, or it could be just like, I'll tell you where the best taco in Santa Barbara was.
1
SPEAKER_01
Just the idea that life is so precious and how can we kind of...
1
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 what are the shortest roads to the best things or the happiest feelings?
1
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And this feeling of beauty that we use at Goop, like not physical beauty, but the feeling that anything is possible and that feeling of resonance.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I had no idea how I could start to do that or even that I could ever turn it into a business, but I was really driven by that feeling of wanting to share
1
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 I don't know, what I had tried and learned and failed at and what was working for me and sharing amazing information that I had heard.
1
SPEAKER_01
And so it just sort of came out, it came from that place.
1
SPEAKER_03
 I love that.
1
SPEAKER_03
And you mentioned the word, uh, manifest and manifestation a few times there.
1
SPEAKER_03
Tell us, because I feel like there are so many versions or misconceptions of manifestation that are out there right now.
1
SPEAKER_03
What was yours?
1
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Because obviously it's worked with your work ethic and everything else that you had.
1
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It's not exclusive of that, but what was your process if you had one or, or what was your mindset around that?
1
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Just to just say, everyone can get clarity on what really works for you.
1
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 I think that if you are living in integrity and that your word and your actions are aligned, then you can honestly bring anything into the world that you want to bring into the world.
1
SPEAKER_01
And when you cultivate that relationship of honesty and integrity with yourself, that you can literally,
1
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 first of all, hear your calling and then make it happen.
1
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And that to me is manifestation.
1
SPEAKER_01
And it could be in a, you know, that people, you know, I've heard so many times, oh, I've always wanted to write a book, but no, you know, it's like, if you can get to that place that you are,
1
SPEAKER_01
 so in tune with what's real for you and what's right for you that it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks of you and what you're doing, then you can express it in any way in the world.
1
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 Does that make any sense?
1
SPEAKER_03
It makes so much sense.
1
SPEAKER_03
It made complete sense.
1
SPEAKER_03
It was actually a really beautiful answer.
1
SPEAKER_03
I love trying to figure out different definitions or understandings, and that was beautiful.
1
SPEAKER_03
There's a famous quote that it reminded me of, and the quote says that we experience real harmony and peace in our lives when what we think, say, and do are aligned.
1
SPEAKER_01
 That was a much more succinct way of saying it.
1
SPEAKER_03
Well, it's not mine.
1
SPEAKER_03
It's not my quote.
1
SPEAKER_03
It's a quote that I've read, that I've heard before.
1
SPEAKER_03
And when you said that, it reminded me of that, that the way you shared it with so much clarity, because I think for most of us, we think one thing, we say something else, and we do something completely different.
1
SPEAKER_03
 And so when you said to be in integrity with your word and your action, I think that's a great answer.
1
SPEAKER_03
The other part I wanted to touch on, which you mentioned, which is around how you were saying women have just had this memo for so many years around just like everyone's needs come before your own.
1
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 And I grew up, you know, my mother raised me through and through.
1
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I have a younger sister.
1
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I saw my mom work, take care of me.
1
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She was an entrepreneur, but I didn't even know she was an entrepreneur because I didn't know what that was then.
1
SPEAKER_03
And, you know, she had her own company and I had a younger sister.
1
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So I was very involved in wanting to be like a good older brother to her.
1
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And I just saw my mom accomplish so much.
1
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 And I think it definitely changed my view of the potential that anyone had, including my now wife and what I see her being able to do.
1
SPEAKER_03
Where do you think that memo changed for you, where you're still able to be a good mother and you were able to kind of reconcile what that meant to you about, you know,
1
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 of what a woman should be?
1
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I think that I had to give myself the permission to fully embody who I have been through every chapter.
1
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And then find the agility to sort of change for the next chapter.
1
SPEAKER_01
I really, you know, Margaret Mead,
1
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 wrote about women really having, being sort of very distinct people in different chapters of their lives and sort of the lack of permission that we historically have given ourselves to fully be who we are in those chapters and then be dynamic enough to grow into ourselves in the next chapter.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know, I remember at some point,
1
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 realizing that I had to stop holding myself as a daughter because it was keeping me in the last chapter.
1
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And of course I will always be a daughter and I love my parents, but I had to sort of unhook myself from that dynamic of,
1
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 needing approval, wanting affirmation, and decide to fully embody myself as a woman.
1
SPEAKER_01
And now I'm a mother, and that brings with it a whole other set of things.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then I'm in my second marriage, which is a completely different experience than my first marriage.
1
SPEAKER_01
And who do I want to be in that marriage?
1
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And how do I want to show up in that marriage?
1
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 How do I want to test myself and push myself?
1
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, somebody once said that a long intimate relationship is just a meditation and everything that's wrong with you.
1
SPEAKER_03
 Oh, I love that, yeah.
1
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And so embracing that, that those things that come up and saying like, oh, okay, this is an area where I'm still invulnerable or resistant or whatever the case may be.
1
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I just think it's about giving yourself that permission.
1
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It's like as a woman to, as I said before, be honest with yourself, like take inventory of how you really feel about something.
1
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Be selfish sometimes.
1
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 put yourself first, speak your truth, say what you mean, and then everything just opens up, you know?
1
SPEAKER_01
I wish it hadn't taken me so long, you know?
1
SPEAKER_01
I feel like I had my head up for half my life so far, you know?
1
SPEAKER_01
And I'm- I didn't think so.
1
SPEAKER_01
But, you know, it's something that I speak about with the younger women in my life, you know, who I talk to through a business or,
1
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 the importance of speaking the truth from the place that's real inside and how that just changes everything.
1
SPEAKER_03
Great, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_03
What a great perspective.
1
SPEAKER_03
 It's nice hearing you say that because I think it would help a lot of people when they hear that because it's, you're right, it's just so hard when some of these things have just been hardwired into family and education and media and, you know, it's propagated everywhere and it's almost like you feel guilty.
1
SPEAKER_03
 Breaking it down and guilt's like one of the most guilt's like such a hard feeling to feel like I don't know if there's a there's lots of hard feelings in the world, but guilt's like one of those ones that you just It kind of feels like there's no way out sometimes and so that that really clarifies A lot of it for me and I think it'll clarify for everyone's listening.
1
SPEAKER_03
I I wanted to talk a bit about some of uh goop's focuses and I know that right now skincare and um
1
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 beauty is is a big focus and I know that you talk about being clean and holistic and Results driven my big question is what do you what is the result that you think?
1
SPEAKER_03
People need to have with their skincare and beauty because that's sometimes You know when I hear that I think oh, wow, that's so open and amazing results driven like that's open What does that mean to you?
1
SPEAKER_03
And what does it mean to you?
1
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 We really want to approach everything we do at Goop through our core values.
1
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And so clean and non-toxic is super important.
1
SPEAKER_01
There's so much research now around
1
SPEAKER_01
 the endocrine disrupting chemicals in so much of our personal care.
1
SPEAKER_01
And it's all kind of, you know, when we started talking about it, people thought we were a little nuts, but that's just par for the course at Goop.
1
SPEAKER_01
And now it's become very mainstream and the clean beauty industry is on fire.
1
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, the younger generation, Gen Zers are really concerned with what is in their personal care products, et cetera.
1
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So we believe wholeheartedly in that.
1
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And for us,
1
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 this idea that beauty is a holistic thing.
1
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So of course we want really efficacious, clean skincare, but it's also how do you feel about yourself?
1
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Are you hydrating?
1
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What are you saying to yourself all day?
1
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Are you stuck in an old model of thinking that's harmful?
1
SPEAKER_01
What is your breathing?
1
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What is your exercise?
1
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What is your nutrition?
1
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And just sort of trying to create a space where
1
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 we create the content that really helps a woman get closer to her true self.
1
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And then we create the product that will help her on the outside as well.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I love that.
1
SPEAKER_03
It's great to have that.
1
SPEAKER_03
 you know, that synergy and approach because I feel like we all need, you know, we all need products to feel good about ourselves from the outside in too.
1
SPEAKER_03
Everyone does.
1
SPEAKER_03
And I know I have my hair wax and I couldn't, you know, I'd probably be wearing a hat if I didn't do that, but it's, you know, it's such a,
1
SPEAKER_03
 it's important to feel confident on the outside.
1
SPEAKER_03
But like you're saying, there's a lot of other practices that you're promoting that really change things from the inside out.
1
SPEAKER_03
When you're creating a product like, for example, jeans or something along those lines, what's the kind of thinking that goes into creating a product like that?
1
SPEAKER_03
What's the innovation behind it?
1
SPEAKER_03
Where do you start?
1
SPEAKER_03
Because I feel like today it's almost like
1
SPEAKER_03
 we see products everywhere all the time, but it's like, where, where does a product start?
1
SPEAKER_03
And the reason why I asked this question is I think that's what almost like being an entrepreneur is really about is knowing that where, where does a product journey start, not just having a product and then figuring out how to market it.
1
SPEAKER_03
So tell me about GOOT Jeans and where the product began.
1
SPEAKER_01
 So everything that we make comes really from a white space.
1
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It's how we started our skincare.
1
SPEAKER_01
I couldn't find really clean, luxurious skincare that actually worked.
1
SPEAKER_01
It was like, you don't want to buy a cream at the health food store necessarily.
1
SPEAKER_01
 And the idea with Goop Genes was really, I wanted to create something incredible and really special that really worked and sort of touched on the idea that we pass things down to our other generations.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like we take things from our parents and we pass them down.
1
SPEAKER_01
And epigenetically speaking, we can affect how those
1
SPEAKER_01
 how aging or how disease presents, you know, with how we're living our lives, what we're eating, what we're thinking, how much love we have in our lives.
1
SPEAKER_01
And, oh, wow, we're getting a massive, beautiful summer thunderstorm right now.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, no way.
1
SPEAKER_01
So beautiful.
1
SPEAKER_01
 And so we always, you know, we always want to think about kind of the psychological pieces as crazy as that sounds and sort of the emotional piece and then the ingestible piece.
1
SPEAKER_01
So we always have an ingestible that helps the skin from the inside out.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like we have this a goop gene supplement, which is an amazing collagen supplement.
1
SPEAKER_01
 Although I love the taste.
1
SPEAKER_01
It tastes like birthday cake, but some people, like my daughter doesn't like the taste.
1
SPEAKER_01
She thinks it's too like birthday cakey.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then we have the topical cream, which actually, you know, and I'm so proud of the team because they formulate these amazing clean products that the efficacy is crazy.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like the clinical results behind these products are just amazing.
1
SPEAKER_01
And so it just goes to prove
1
SPEAKER_01
 that you can formulate something that will really change your skin and really hydrate and help with fine lines and wrinkles and all that stuff, and that won't harm you in any way.
1
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, that's part of a larger lifestyle of feeling good about yourself in whatever way that means to you, you know, whether it's expressing yourself honestly or exercising or, you know, however that is and just,
1
SPEAKER_01
 creating that space for women to decide what's right for them and what will work for them.
1
SPEAKER_03
 Yeah, and I know you're bringing this all together on, I think it's 12th September, you have the Goop Health and Wellness Summit.
1
SPEAKER_01
I'm so excited about that.
1
SPEAKER_01
Why did you have to come and do an In Goop Health with me?
1
SPEAKER_03
I would love to.
1
SPEAKER_03
I'd be more than happy to, but it's so exciting because I know that that's obviously, I think it's something that people are also going to look forward to this year.
1
SPEAKER_03
I think with the lack of offline programming and events for people to turn up to and
1
SPEAKER_03
 I think for people to have something exciting to go to online, I feel like now's the time for it more than ever.
1
SPEAKER_03
Why was that important for you to do at that time?
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SPEAKER_03
Tell us a bit about what particular, I know there's lots of workouts and masterclasses, but what's something that you're really excited for, for the summit?
1
SPEAKER_01
 Well, it's funny, you know, we love our in-person summits so much and they've become such a point of connection and education and we were so sad to have to let them go.
1
SPEAKER_01
And we thought, well, we wonder if there's a way to digitally create this.
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SPEAKER_01
And actually I'm so excited and inspired by what everybody's put together because first of all, it's much more accessible.
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SPEAKER_01
 in terms of price point, in terms of, you know, geography, anybody can.
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SPEAKER_01
And it's been amazing to see we have people from so many countries who've signed up, which makes me so happy.
1
SPEAKER_01
But it's really just, you know, when COVID happened and we've been going through this crazy, crazy time, I said to the team, you know, we just really have to get back to our core values, which are being of service and
1
SPEAKER_01
 and sharing with the world the things that work.