0
SPEAKER_02
Guess what, Will?
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SPEAKER_02
What s up, Mango?
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SPEAKER_02
I ve been trying to write a promo for our podcast, Part-Time Genius, but even though we ve done over 250 episodes, we don t really talk about murders or cults.
0
SPEAKER_02
I mean, we did just cover the Illuminati of cheese, so I feel like that makes us pretty edgy.
0
SPEAKER_02
We also solve mysteries like how Chinese is your Chinese food and how do dollar stores make money?
0
SPEAKER_02
And then, of course, can you game a dog show?
0
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So what you re saying is everyone should be listening.
0
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Listen to Part-Time Genius on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Hey, everyone, this is Molly and Matt, and we re the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.
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It s a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting.
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like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.
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Let s learn about all of it and then some.
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Listen to Grown Up Stuff How To Adult on America s number one podcast network, iHeart.
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Open your free iHeart app and search Grown Up Stuff.
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This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.
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The joy they brought to the nation.
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You re free completely.
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No one is there to destroy you.
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The danger they endured.
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They said my head should be cut off.
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I m John Legend.
0
SPEAKER_03
Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
0
SPEAKER_00
I just felt like I was so addicted to this kind of false version of my life that it was just taking over.
0
SPEAKER_00
And the thing that really upset me is the press ran with that.
0
SPEAKER_00
They were saying, oh, look, he s not the perfect happy-go-lucky kid you think he is.
0
SPEAKER_00
He s having a nervous breakdown in New York.
0
SPEAKER_00
If I was having a mental breakdown, that s not for you to report on.
0
SPEAKER_00
They took the story in the wrong direction, and they kind of painted people looking for help in the wrong light.
0
SPEAKER_00
The best-selling author and host.
0
SPEAKER_03
The number one health and wellness podcast.
0
SPEAKER_02
On Purpose with Jay Shetty.
0
SPEAKER_04
Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world.
0
SPEAKER_04
Thanks to each and every one of you that come back every week to listen, learn, and grow.
0
SPEAKER_04
Now, I m so grateful and so excited because I get to sit down with people that I find fascinating, incredible, thoughtful, insightful.
0
SPEAKER_04
and people who allow me into their lives and into their minds.
0
SPEAKER_04
And today s someone who I ve wanted to sit down with for a long, long time.
0
SPEAKER_04
And I m so grateful that in his busy schedule, he s been able to carve out some time to sit down with me today.
0
SPEAKER_04
I m talking about the one, the only Tom Holland.
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SPEAKER_04
Tom, it is so great to be with you, mate.
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SPEAKER_04
Thank you, mate.
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SPEAKER_00
Thanks for having me.
0
SPEAKER_04
I m genuinely grateful that you re here.
0
SPEAKER_04
I know we ve just been casually catching up before this and it s already been so fun.
0
SPEAKER_04
So I m really looking forward to this conversation.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, no, I m excited.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m excited to listen to you and learn from you and speak about mindfulness.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I love, you know, your programs about health.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m going through a little bit of like a health journey right now, which I m loving.
0
SPEAKER_00
So I can t wait to dive into that.
0
SPEAKER_00
And thanks for having me.
0
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, absolutely, man.
0
SPEAKER_04
Well, I ve always really appreciated how much you ve
0
SPEAKER_04
opened up about that journey in your own way.
0
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And I think what s really interesting for me is a lot of people open up after it s solved.
0
SPEAKER_04
Sure.
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SPEAKER_04
Whereas you ve kind of been telling us as things are going on.
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SPEAKER_04
And I think that s actually quite rare because usually when you re going through something, it s kind of harder to articulate it and explain it and have people understand it.
0
SPEAKER_04
Sure.
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SPEAKER_04
And the fact that you re doing that, I think takes a lot of courage.
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SPEAKER_04
So I just wanted to point that out straight off the bat that I think.
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That s really tough and people don t do that.
0
SPEAKER_04
People kind of wait till they re out of it.
0
SPEAKER_04
And again, I m not judging either approach because it s up to the individual, but I do think it takes a lot of strength to do what you re doing.
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SPEAKER_04
So thank you for that.
0
SPEAKER_00
Wow, mate.
0
SPEAKER_00
Thank you for saying that.
0
SPEAKER_00
I appreciate that.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_04
But let s dive in.
0
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I wanted to talk about, I know that your family is very close to you and you re very close to family.
0
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Very close.
0
SPEAKER_04
We re just talking about your living in Kingston, which is, I believe, where you grew up.
0
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
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Right down the road.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_04
Amazing.
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And what s really interesting is that a lot of studies show that how we were loved
0
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or unloved between the ages of zero to five, impact the next 15, 25, 50 years of our life and how we give love to ourselves and how we give love to others.
0
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And so I was thinking, do you have a core memory or an experience with your family from childhood that kind of embodies the feeling you have about them now or that keeps you tied close to them?
0
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I d say sort of more than a memory is just a feeling that we, I could say all of my brothers and I had, was that because our dad s a comedian, his job only ever existed once we had gone to bed and our mum worked from home.
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She was a photographer.
0
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So to us as kids, our parents didn t really work.
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They just were always home.
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So we had this amazing foundation where
0
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no matter any time of the day, either mum or dad would be at the house.
0
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And we felt so kind of solid as a family, which is why like, I kind of have this dream of one day having kids and putting my work to bed and just kind of being there as a dad.
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Because I really admire how my dad was around, you know, being a comedian is a very, very volatile job.
0
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The highs and lows are so extreme.
0
SPEAKER_00
And as kids, we never saw that.
0
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The only version of my dad I ever saw was the happy dad, let s go to the park.
0
SPEAKER_00
We used to play this game called golf goals where we would go down to the park, there s like this big blue metal goal and we would just fire golf balls into that goal every day and he would give us 10p every time a ball went in the goal and that was kind of the foundation of our golf and all that sort of stuff.
0
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So for me, broader than a core memory,
0
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was the idea of always feeling connected and safe within my family unit.
0
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And I think a large portion of that is that my mum and dad have always been such a solid team and they ve always been there for us.
0
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, wow.
0
SPEAKER_04
Have they, as you ve grown older, have they kind of opened up about some of the challenges that they were going through that they obviously didn t show you in your family when you were kids?
0
SPEAKER_04
Because I can imagine, we always talk about this, right?
0
SPEAKER_04
Like being a comedian is extremely difficult because you re making everyone else laugh.
0
SPEAKER_04
At the same time, it s a career path that, like you said, is completely volatile.
0
SPEAKER_04
Sure.
0
SPEAKER_04
Have they opened up as time s gone on?
0
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And how has that felt when you ve gone from like seeing your parents always being happy to being like, oh wait, there was all this other stuff going on?
0
SPEAKER_00
Absolutely they have.
0
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And it s not even sometimes thing that they ve told us.
0
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It s just things that we ve grown up to recognize.
0
SPEAKER_00
As a young kid, you know, you re not looking to, how s my mom feeling?
0
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How s my dad feeling?
0
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And now as an, as an older person, you know, those are things I care about.
0
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I want to call my mom because I know it will brighten her day.
0
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So that s all part of growing up, I guess.
0
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So seeing the way in which my dad s job affects him or my dad s job affects my mom is something we ve all
0
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sort of come to terms with, and he s amazing at it.
0
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I mean, to be honest, I say affect, it doesn t really affect anyone.
0
SPEAKER_00
He s so good at handling it, which is a lot of why I feel like I am the way I am.
0
SPEAKER_00
For example, the Crowded Rooms come out, the critics absolutely hated it.
0
SPEAKER_00
They thought it was the worst thing they ve ever seen.
0
SPEAKER_00
And it doesn t really upset me.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I think a large part of my feeling towards that has come from my dad being able to do a gig, the gig not going well, him brushing it off his shoulder and just right onto the next one.
0
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, well, and first of all, I want to point out as well, so I ve been watching The Crowded Room.
0
SPEAKER_04
Right.
0
SPEAKER_04
And me and my wife have been watching it together and we re actually really enjoying it.
0
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
0
SPEAKER_04
We re actually loving it because I love a show that has mystery.
0
SPEAKER_04
Sure.
0
SPEAKER_04
That s trying to like get me to figure it out and get me to think about it.
0
SPEAKER_04
I m kind of confused and I love stuff like that.
0
SPEAKER_04
Like I m a massive Christopher Nolan fan.
0
SPEAKER_04
So all my favourite movies are Nolan movies and the reason why I love them is because I have no idea what s going on.
0
SPEAKER_04
And you ve got to figure it out.
0
SPEAKER_00
And you ve got to figure it out.
0
SPEAKER_04
And I love puzzles and I love escape rooms and I love anything that s got me thinking, what is going on here and why can t I figure it out?
0
SPEAKER_00
Mate, do you know what you should watch?
0
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I admittedly watch it to go to sleep if I m ever feeling stressed or overstimulated.
0
SPEAKER_00
I watch this guy called Chris Ramsey.
0
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He s like a YouTube guy.
0
SPEAKER_00
He s a magician, but I just watch him solve puzzles.
0
SPEAKER_00
He like buys these Japanese like handcrafted
0
SPEAKER_00
puzzle boxes and he just solves them.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I ve started buying them and they come to the house and you sit down for four hours, put it down, pick it up and try and solve this puzzle.
0
SPEAKER_00
And it s amazing.
0
SPEAKER_00
Are you any good at them?
0
SPEAKER_00
No, I m terrible at them.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m absolutely terrible.
0
SPEAKER_00
I ve had an unsolved Rubik s cube since I was like 11.
0
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, so I watch his videos because there s just something about like the sound of the wood.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m a carpenter, so I love like craftsmanship and that sort of stuff.
0
SPEAKER_00
So I love the way that these pieces are put together.
0
SPEAKER_00
So watching him solve the puzzles, I find so relaxing.
0
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_04
I think for so many of us, you know, getting bad reviews, perceptions,
0
SPEAKER_04
people talking about us, whatever that may be, whatever scale we live at can actually affect us.
0
SPEAKER_04
And you saying that actually seeing your dad, seeing him shrug it off and seeing him move on actually really helped him.
0
SPEAKER_04
Do you think that you ve been able to create a bit more of a skill around that now, or is it something that happens naturally for you?
0
SPEAKER_04
Because I m guessing that there s a lot of people who are listening and watching going, Tom, that s pretty amazing that you can do that at your scale and your level.
0
SPEAKER_04
But you know, I m still affected by that.
0
SPEAKER_04
Or I really struggle when my mate says something like, I know the number one thing I hear is like, most people don t chase their dreams because they re scared of what their mates will say, let alone what the world will say.
0
SPEAKER_04
I had this late, I was, I was flying back last night as I was telling you.
0
SPEAKER_04
So I was on a plane from DC to London.
1
SPEAKER_00
last night, and the air hostess, she was wonderful, her name was Jeanette.
1
SPEAKER_00
She said to me, she was like, Jay, I really want to start a YouTube channel, but you know, you just got to block out what your friends are going to say, right?
1
SPEAKER_00
And she was just worried about it.
1
SPEAKER_00
So it s a very real thing.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I guess, have you kind of figured out a little formula for it, or is it just natural because you saw your dad and it s become easier that way?
1
SPEAKER_00
I think it s a little bit of both, really.
1
SPEAKER_01
I think it s something you definitely get better at.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m really lucky that I have an incredibly strong group of friends.
1
SPEAKER_01
One of my best mates just called me up earlier to say he d seen the fifth episode, and he s like, I know what happens in the show, and I m still loving it.
1
SPEAKER_01
The people I m watching it with have no idea what s going on, but they can t wait for the next one.
1
SPEAKER_01
So, you know, I really, really hold high the opinions of people that I really care about.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m also really lucky to have an amazing group of fans who are so supportive.
1
SPEAKER_01
They are diehard.
1
SPEAKER_01
They are there day one.
1
SPEAKER_01
And that makes me feel really good.
1
SPEAKER_01
But I do think a lot of my lessons in life have come from my dad and the ways that he can deal with things, things that he hasn t done very well in the past that he s passed on to me.
1
SPEAKER_01
And
1
SPEAKER_01
I sort of, I live by this really, I don t actually know if Christian Bale did say this, but I think he did.
1
SPEAKER_00
I love Christian Bale.
1
SPEAKER_01
But I think the quote is, if you have a problem with me, text me.
1
SPEAKER_01
And if you don t have my number, you don t know me well enough to have a problem with me.
1
SPEAKER_01
That is so good.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I think that that is such a great piece of advice, because as a celebrity, you live on this stage, you live out there, you kind of give out a version of yourself that you want people to see.
1
SPEAKER_01
And that can be the version of yourself that they can have a problem with or they can love.
1
SPEAKER_01
And there is a, you know, I feel like I m quite authentic in my
1
SPEAKER_01
public persona.
1
SPEAKER_01
But I just try to really care about what my family thinks, what my friends think, what the people in my local community think.
1
SPEAKER_01
I live in Kingston, I know everyone that lives there.
1
SPEAKER_01
I can t walk five feet without bumping into one of my mum s friends.
1
SPEAKER_01
So yeah, so it s something I ve been working on.
1
SPEAKER_01
I try my best to not let that stuff affect me.
1
SPEAKER_01
It does.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, of course.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m not cold hearted or anything like that.
1
SPEAKER_01
It does affect me, but I just try to, to move on and focus on the positives.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, absolutely.
1
SPEAKER_00
Absolutely.
1
SPEAKER_00
What, what was, uh, did you ever see your dad deal with everything and you thought, wow, that was incredible.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like, was there anything specific that you remember that like seeing him like tackle something and you thought, wow, that really impressed me.
1
SPEAKER_00
Even if it was something really small in hindsight.
1
SPEAKER_01
I think the thing I admire most about my dad is his resilience.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know, he s someone who has had an incredibly successful career in his earlier life.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then later in life, his career sort of plateaued and he struggled.
1
SPEAKER_01
And he s never stopped.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s never given up.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s still gigging to this day.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s still writing books.
1
SPEAKER_01
He has a patron.
1
SPEAKER_01
He has a podcast.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s constantly grafting to get to where he wants to be.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I think being a young kid and seeing your dad continually working as hard as he can to kind of put his best foot forward, for me, has been a huge drive for my work ethic.
1
SPEAKER_01
I ll give it 100% or I ll give it nothing.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I think a lot of that has come from my dad and seeing him deal with that.
1
SPEAKER_01
The funny thing about my dad, as you talk about doing a bad gig, I must have seen him 20 times.
1
SPEAKER_01
I ve never seen him do a bad gig.
1
SPEAKER_01
He always seems to absolutely rip it.
1
SPEAKER_01
But maybe that s just because we re in the audience.
1
SPEAKER_01
But he, but no, I owe a lot to my dad and a lot of the teachings I think he s told me and things I ve just witnessed him do.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
And was there ever a piece of feedback or a rumor or something you saw that did affect you where you actually thought, or at least made you stop and go, God, I m trying to see the positives, but this one s tough.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like, like this actually made me have to pause and figure it out.
1
SPEAKER_01
Something that did really upset me.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was in New York.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was shooting The Crowded Room.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I was having a really hard time with the job just because of how taxing it was, the emotional capacity that I was having to get to every day.
1
SPEAKER_01
I decided to delete my Instagram because I just felt like I was so addicted to this kind of false version of my life that it was just taking over.
1
SPEAKER_01
I would be on set working, I d come and sit in my chair and just scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll.
1
SPEAKER_01
And it was becoming a problem.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was just obsessed with it and I was obsessed to find out what people were saying and what they thought about me.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I decided to make an announcement, which unfortunately we have to do, and say that I m taking a break from social media.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I tried to position myself and say, like, I m taking a break from social media because I feel like my mental health will benefit from it.
1
SPEAKER_01
And the thing that really upset me is the press ran with that.
1
SPEAKER_01
And they tried to make out that I was having this mental breakdown.
1
SPEAKER_01
And what upset me was,
1
SPEAKER_01
If I was having a mental breakdown, that s not for you to report on.
1
SPEAKER_01
They took the story in the wrong direction, and they painted again this negative light on mental health.
1
SPEAKER_01
Rather than saying, oh, he s doing it.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s okay that he s doing it, so we should all feel okay to do it too.
1
SPEAKER_01
They were saying, oh look, he s not the perfect happy-go-lucky kid you think he is.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s having a nervous breakdown in New York.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I think that that was a really unfair line of journalism, let s say, because I just think it again kind of painted people looking for help in the wrong light, if you know what I mean.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, absolutely.
1
SPEAKER_00
Absolutely.
1
SPEAKER_00
It almost sounds like you were actually preemptively going, I m doing this so that I don t go in that direction.
1
SPEAKER_00
Totally.
1
SPEAKER_00
At least I m not trying to put words in your mouth,
1
SPEAKER_00
But it s almost like I m proactively seeing that I could end up in a position where I might have a breakdown.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t want to be in that position.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so I m responsibly saying, guys, I m taking a break in order to protect myself.
1
SPEAKER_00
A hundred percent.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Which makes a lot of sense and actually is quite admirable again.
1
SPEAKER_01
Totally.
1
SPEAKER_01
And that s kind of what the message of the show is about.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like the message of our show is that asking for help should be something that we celebrate.
1
SPEAKER_01
If you re struggling, if you need help,
1
SPEAKER_01
If you feel bad and you wake up and you go to a friend, a therapist, a teacher, an employee, or a colleague and say, I m really struggling.
1
SPEAKER_01
I need some help.
1
SPEAKER_01
That should be something that we give you a pat on the back.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like, I would love to help you.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m delighted that you asked me.
1
SPEAKER_01
And that for me, that announcement was kind of my olive branch and the press ran with it how they ran with it.
1
SPEAKER_01
But to be fair, it kind of gave me a great drive to finish The Crowded Room in the way that we did.
1
SPEAKER_01
To like, if you re not going to listen to my personal message, then you have to listen to the message of my show.
1
SPEAKER_01
So it kind of went hand in hand.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, absolutely.
1
SPEAKER_00
You ve reminded me actually, when you said that, because I think we naturally today think of
1
SPEAKER_00
therapists or doctors, but you mentioned teacher there.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I was thinking, when I was going through a really rough time at school once, I remember my walk to school from the bus stop, I d see a teacher every day that I was really close with at school, but you never talk to your teachers walking to school.
1
SPEAKER_00
You re a crazy person.
1
SPEAKER_00
But I was so lonely at the time that I remember like almost thinking like, well, he s the only person I can talk to because of other stuff that I was going through at school.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I remember I started talking to him on the way to school.
1
SPEAKER_00
his name is Mr. Buckridge, he knows, I go on about him everywhere and he avoids it because everyone s always like, oh, Jay s been talking about you.
1
SPEAKER_00
But it was that exact feeling where it was like, he was someone that I felt I could open up to at that point in my life without feeling judged, without feeling like he was going to see me through another lens.
1
SPEAKER_00
And just having that space to be seen for as a human who is going through stuff,
1
SPEAKER_00
by a teacher was a huge, huge win.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so, you know, it s, you are right that that help can come in all different forms and it doesn t, it doesn t have to come in the ways that we expected to come in.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
It doesn t have to be a professional.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
I go to my friends a lot and, and you know, some friends are better than others in certain situations.
1
SPEAKER_01
I ve got some friends that are very much like pull your socks up and get on with it.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then other friends who are like, come here and have a cry on my shoulder.
1
SPEAKER_01
But like it,
1
SPEAKER_01
It varies.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I just really hope that that s what the show can do, is sort of paint this positive picture of asking for help is something to be proud of.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, that s a great message.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I think we all need to hear it.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I want to go back a little bit because there s a lot of interviews that you ve done, and I ve watched a lot of stuff over the time, but like we were talking about, a lot of it s soundbites because it s quick and short and like these entertainment, you know, interviews.
1
SPEAKER_00
And that s why I was really grateful that you took out the time to do this.
1
SPEAKER_00
But you were diagnosed, as far as I read, with dyslexia at age seven.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I was wondering how, you know, a lot of our community and our audience is diagnosed as well, or some of them are not, but they re finding out later on in life.
1
SPEAKER_00
How did that affect you?
1
SPEAKER_00
Or how were you set up for success with that?
1
SPEAKER_00
Because as an actor, you ve got to learn lines, you ve got to read lines.
1
SPEAKER_00
There s a lot of activities that people would assume are quite challenging, but you found a way.
1
SPEAKER_00
And walk us through that a little bit.
1
SPEAKER_01
know, my mum has always been really hands on with our education.
1
SPEAKER_01
She, you know, really wanted us to just do our best.
1
SPEAKER_01
Our dad always said like, look, I don t care what grades you get, as long as you try your best, you try your best.
1
SPEAKER_01
And that s all that we can ask for.
1
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, my dyslexia
1
SPEAKER_01
it s really just my spelling.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, honestly, it s just that, you know, those sort of games that you play at Christmas.
1
SPEAKER_01
Have you ever played the one where you have to write down the answers?
1
SPEAKER_01
It s such a good game.
1
SPEAKER_01
Is it Boulder Dash?
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t know Boulder Dash.
1
SPEAKER_01
Is it?
1
SPEAKER_01
It s basically a game where someone will read out a scenario or ask a question and then you have to answer the question to the best of your ability.
1
SPEAKER_01
But you can also bluff and lie.
1
SPEAKER_00
I ve never played this game.
1
SPEAKER_01
And if you write someone
2
SPEAKER_01
a believing answer and people vote for your answer, you win.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh cool.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
I ve never played it, which is great.
2
SPEAKER_01
But when I play it, everyone s like, what does that say?
2
SPEAKER_01
That is definitely not spelt right.
2
SPEAKER_01
Um, but yeah, so my spelling was really the biggest hurdle.
2
SPEAKER_01
Um, I worked really hard at school.
2
SPEAKER_01
I didn t do particularly well, but
2
SPEAKER_01
Again, my parents said, as long as you try your best, then that s all we can ask for.
2
SPEAKER_00
And acting, you started early too, age nine, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
Like that was something that you started pursuing really early on in life.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I feel, was that something that you were always sure about?
2
SPEAKER_00
There s that famous viral TikTok that always goes around the view.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know, I can t, I don t know how old you were being asked.
2
SPEAKER_00
you know, what superhero would you play when you re older?
2
SPEAKER_00
And you say, oh, maybe Spider-Man, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
And it s like, and I wonder, like, how much of your acting career do you feel like you ve manifested or there was a vision or a focus, or is it more just like, this was naturally what you were into and it grew?
2
SPEAKER_00
Where did that come from?
2
SPEAKER_01
I do believe in manifesting, actually.
2
SPEAKER_01
I really do.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think what s interesting about my career is this was never something I wanted.
2
SPEAKER_01
I just was a young kid.
2
SPEAKER_01
I loved dancing.
2
SPEAKER_01
My mum would take me to a dance class every Saturday and I got spotted through that dance class to audition for a show on the West End.
2
SPEAKER_01
I ended up doing the show.
2
SPEAKER_01
I loved it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Billy Elliot.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was the time of my life.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, it was such a cool experience.
2
SPEAKER_01
Just by complete fluke, an agent came to see the show the night that I was on.
2
SPEAKER_01
She signed me.
2
SPEAKER_01
She sent me to an audition for a film.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was lucky enough to get the part.
2
SPEAKER_01
All of a sudden I was on set with Ewan McGregor and Naomi Watts and we made The Impossible.
2
SPEAKER_01
And to be perfectly honest with you, it was, it was just a hobby.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was something that my mum would let me do on the summer holidays.
2
SPEAKER_01
She was very keen that I kept my schooling up.
2
SPEAKER_01
And there sort of came that time in England where you re in between GCSEs and A-levels and you re trying to figure it out.
2
SPEAKER_01
When I was going through that, you could still drop out at A-levels.
2
SPEAKER_01
Obviously now you have to do A-levels.
2
SPEAKER_01
And
2
SPEAKER_01
I had that moment where I was like, what do I want to do?
2
SPEAKER_01
I could try and stay at school and figure out what I want to do.
2
SPEAKER_01
Or this thing that s been a hobby, but my sort of summer holiday activity, which is acting, I could try and do that for a living.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I ve been so lucky that I ve been, you know, offered jobs and all that sort of stuff.
2
SPEAKER_01
I decided to go with it.
2
SPEAKER_01
I joined the Brit school because, you know, my mum was keen that I didn t go for school for an education, but went to school
2
SPEAKER_01
to expand my social skills and meet kids my own age.
2
SPEAKER_01
All my friends when I was 15 were like 30 year old people because they re all adults from the business.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I think my mom was keen that I had some friends that are my age who are now my best friends today.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I never really wanted this.
2
SPEAKER_01
I just sort of never stopped doing it.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I love it.
2
SPEAKER_01
I absolutely love it.
2
SPEAKER_01
I love the creativity.
2
SPEAKER_01
I love the building blocks that are required to put a film together.
2
SPEAKER_01
I love the collaboration on set between people from all different walks of life.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, a film set is a melting pot of all sorts of different people.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I love it.
2
SPEAKER_01
I absolutely love it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I read something that you said you were bullied for like doing ballet.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, right.
2
SPEAKER_00
Which obviously got you into the playing the role of Billy Elliot because it s ballet and tap, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
Sure.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s both.
2
SPEAKER_00
Was that tough at the time or were you trying to hide it and then you end up at the West End and you re on the main stage and everyone s seeing it or was it kind of easy to navigate and how did that go down?
2
SPEAKER_00
Because I feel like as a kid, doing ballet and tap must have been a little challenging.
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it was, it wasn t easy, but it also wasn t tough.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, I went to a rugby school.
2
SPEAKER_01
So you can imagine like the one kid in the school that does ballet.
2
SPEAKER_01
There s going to be comments here and there.
2
SPEAKER_01
It wasn t the easiest thing in the world.
2
SPEAKER_01
There were kids that didn t understand why I was doing it or what I was doing it for.
2
SPEAKER_01
No matter how many times I explained, like I m the only guy in a class of 30 girls in tights.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was like, guys, this is what you want to be doing.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like rugby is not it.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I, nah, it was tough.
2
SPEAKER_01
But again, like it goes back to what we were saying about resilience and keeping your head down and crowded room was the hardest job I ve ever had for all sorts of different reasons.
2
SPEAKER_01
And there was a point in time where we were talking about, do we shut this down and walk away from it because of how challenging it was.
2
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, I dug my heels in, I put my head down and was like, no, I m going to finish this.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m going to see it through.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I think, you know, you learn from past experiences like that.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I really am proud of the way everyone handled The Crowded Room.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I think that stems from my childhood, my dad s experiences and all that sort of stuff.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, so I ve got a confession as well to make.
2
SPEAKER_00
Go on.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I went to rugby school as well.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
Did you play?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I played for my A team and I was pretty good.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you were in the A team?
2
SPEAKER_00
I was pretty good.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
What position did you play?
2
SPEAKER_00
Blindside flanker.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay, wow.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I was really into rugby because I went to rugby school and I loved football, but my school didn t play football.
2
SPEAKER_00
And so I was like, no, I ve got to be on the school s main team.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I worked really hard to get on the team.
2
SPEAKER_00
But after we played rugby on a Saturday, my mum forced me to go to dance class and part of it was ballet and tap as well.
2
SPEAKER_00
Although I did not end up at the West End and play Billy Elliot because I don t think Billy Elliot was brown.
2
SPEAKER_00
So that wasn t going to happen.
2
SPEAKER_00
So it wasn t the same path as you.
2
SPEAKER_00
But I also had that experience.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s why I had to ask you about it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Did you enjoy it?
2
SPEAKER_00
I really enjoyed it for the community aspect of it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like I love all the lads that I was there with.
2
SPEAKER_00
They were just a great laugh.
2
SPEAKER_00
And it was really interesting because we d go from, I d literally go from playing rugby straight to class on a Saturday.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I d go in there with all my bruises, exhausted and all the rest of it.
2
SPEAKER_00
But everyone was just so much fun.
2
SPEAKER_00
And it s almost like the rugby pitch was more stressful because everyone was like, you know, trying to be intense and trying to be this and that.
2
SPEAKER_00
Whereas everyone just having a laugh at the dance class.
2
SPEAKER_00
We do everything from hip hop to
2
SPEAKER_00
to street to whatever.
2
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, I remember never telling, I think this is the first time I ve ever spoken about it.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s out there.
2
SPEAKER_00
Because I m in a safe space with you.
2
SPEAKER_01
But it s interesting because rugby is regimented, isn t it?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
I loved rugby by the way.
2
SPEAKER_01
You play a position that is as specific as saying the blind side flanker.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, when you re a dancer, you re just a dancer.
2
SPEAKER_01
You can fit in however you want to fit in.
2
SPEAKER_01
The teacher can ask you, how are you feeling about that?
2
SPEAKER_01
Rather than like,
2
SPEAKER_01
you need to get your head down to the left to make a proper tackle.
2
SPEAKER_01
I did love playing rugby when I was smaller.
2
SPEAKER_01
When all the, well, not when I was smaller, when all the kids were smaller.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then there was that time where I came back to school after Billy Elliot and everyone had just become a man and I was still very much a child.
2
SPEAKER_01
I remember we played this school called Trinity College and it was my first game back and I was playing scrum half.
2
SPEAKER_01
I came on the second half and it was a violent game.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was not, it was not a gentleman s game of rugby.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I was standing, they were kicking to us, we were receiving.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I remember thinking, as long as the ball doesn t come to me off of the kick, I ll be fine.
2
SPEAKER_01
I need the game to get going and then I ll be fine.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m scrum half, relatively safe position.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m a good playmaker.
2
SPEAKER_01
As soon as he kicked the ball, it s coming straight towards me.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m trying to catch it.
2
SPEAKER_01
I can hear the boots running towards me.
2
SPEAKER_01
I fumble it, knock on.
2
SPEAKER_01
The game goes on.
2
SPEAKER_01
I start playing well.
2
SPEAKER_01
I assisted a try.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then I don t remember what happened or how it happened.
2
SPEAKER_01
But there was a really tough kid on our team who will remain nameless.
2
SPEAKER_01
I haven t spoken to him since.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know what he s doing.
2
SPEAKER_01
But he got into a fight with some kid on the opposing team, and it was really quite ugly.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then the kid s dad came on the pitch.
2
SPEAKER_01
to tell off this boy that was on my team.
2
SPEAKER_01
And the kid on my team knocked out his dad.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like proper, like it s the first time I ve ever seen someone hit someone.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I couldn t believe that a kid who was- How old are you?
2
SPEAKER_01
He must ve been 16 at the time.
2
SPEAKER_01
But he s one of those 16 year olds that would look older than I do now when he was 16.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I just remember hearing the noise.
2
SPEAKER_01
He like cracked his dad on the jaw, hit the floor.
2
SPEAKER_01
Then this whole big fight broke out.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m not a fighter.
2
SPEAKER_01
I stepped away and was sort of like, what s going on?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it was wild.
2
SPEAKER_01
And that was the last game of rugby I ever played.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was against Trinity College.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh my gosh.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it was really intense.
2
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_00
That is intense.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s how intense it got.
2
SPEAKER_00
My last game was similar, but not watching a fight.
2
SPEAKER_00
So someone ran, it was a big game and I was playing really well that season and everything was going really well.
2
SPEAKER_00
And someone ran into a rock, but with their elbow.
2
SPEAKER_00
which is obviously illegal.
2
SPEAKER_00
They ran in and they elbowed me right there, like right below, it s on this side and right below there.
2
SPEAKER_00
And the next thing I know, I get up and I m like, kind of feeling a bit aggressive.
2
SPEAKER_00
Are you cut as well?
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, I didn t notice.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then blood starts to drip.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, that s when you freak out because you re like, oh God, I m like, I can, and there s a lot of blood just dripping.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I get subbed off and the nurse on the side just puts a bit of glue there, like to stick it together.
2
SPEAKER_00
And at that time, you don t really notice and you think you re all right.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then literally an hour later, it s just getting thicker and thicker and thicker.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I m ending up with this.
2
SPEAKER_00
Run to the hospital on the way home because my coach was just like, suck it up.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s fine.
2
SPEAKER_00
You ll be fine.
2
SPEAKER_00
Run there.
2
SPEAKER_00
They re like, if you were any later, you would have had nerve damage and like personally, potentially lost your eyesight, whatever it was.
2
SPEAKER_00
And they had to like glue it and a little bit of stitches or whatever it was.
2
SPEAKER_00
And for the rest of the month, I walked around with my eye literally hanging over, and I looked like I d got into the worst fight.
2
SPEAKER_00
I walked into a store, and everyone would kind of back off and stuff.
2
SPEAKER_00
And it was just really uncomfortable.
2
SPEAKER_00
That was my last game of rugby.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s why I just remembered that.
2
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, it was intense, but it was great.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like you said, it was great regimented discipline training.
2
SPEAKER_00
I loved training with my mates.
2
SPEAKER_00
I loved playing.
2
SPEAKER_00
I loved, as a young man as well, having an outlet to
3
SPEAKER_00
release the energy that I had, I felt was good in obviously in a way that wasn t trying to hurt others.
3
SPEAKER_02
But that s what s so great about boxing.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s like boxing is such a great release.
3
SPEAKER_02
You know, you see these young kids, like young kids who are angry, who need to let something go, like go and punch a bag for an hour.
3
SPEAKER_02
That will make you, that will calm you down.
3
SPEAKER_02
I love how boxing is such a great thing for young, for young people to release that sort of energy.
3
SPEAKER_02
Are you boxing?
3
SPEAKER_02
Do you box?
3
SPEAKER_00
I love boxing.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s been a few years since I ve done any sort of training.
3
SPEAKER_02
I used to go to this great gym in New York called Church Street Boxing.
3
SPEAKER_02
I used to love it there.
3
SPEAKER_02
I had a great pro.
3
SPEAKER_02
You could sort of spar with him because you know that he wouldn t batter you because he could control himself.
3
SPEAKER_02
I went to one sparring session, just a general session and I got absolutely battered.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it was tough, but I love it.
3
SPEAKER_02
I love the sport.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m a little bit sad as to how the sport is being run right now.
3
SPEAKER_02
But I do love the sport and I admire the athletes.
3
SPEAKER_02
I think they re amazing.
3
SPEAKER_00
What s your take on YouTubers, boxing and all that kind of stuff?
3
SPEAKER_00
Because it s obviously bringing a lot of attention to the sport.
3
SPEAKER_02
To be perfectly honest with you, I don t really mind it.
3
SPEAKER_02
I think it s quite fun.
3
SPEAKER_02
I think if you re doing it for the right reasons, you know, there s a great opportunity to raise some money for amazing charities.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I think a few of them have done a lot for charity.
3
SPEAKER_02
Um, I think it s really great.
3
SPEAKER_02
I think, yeah, you know, my brother Paddy would never have been watching boxing and now he loves it because of his favorite YouTubers are boxing.
3
SPEAKER_02
So if it s good for the sport, it s good for the sport.
3
SPEAKER_02
I sort of don t really mind.
3
SPEAKER_02
I think it s funny to be honest.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, because you sit at home watching it, you re like, I could do that.
3
SPEAKER_02
I could get in there and do that.
3
SPEAKER_02
And you re like, well, why don t you?
3
SPEAKER_02
And you re like, well, I don t really want to do that.
3
SPEAKER_00
So we might see you in Creed IV then.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
3
SPEAKER_01
We ll do the acting boxing.
3
SPEAKER_02
I d love to do a boxing movie.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
I think it would be cool to do a boxing movie, but where the fighting is real.
3
SPEAKER_02
Walk me through that.
3
SPEAKER_02
I wouldn t necessarily be in that film, right?
3
SPEAKER_02
But I do think that you could make a really interesting film where the outcome of the film is determined on
3
SPEAKER_01
the outcome of the real fight.
3
SPEAKER_01
Has anything like that ever been done?
3
SPEAKER_01
Like racing or any, can you, I m just trying to.
3
SPEAKER_01
Not that I know of.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, not that I know of.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s what I m trying to think.
3
SPEAKER_01
It could be really cool.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, I love, I love boxing movies.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m a sucker for it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Which ones, which, which one s your favorite?
3
SPEAKER_02
I think Rocky II is probably my favourite.
3
SPEAKER_02
I remember when we were in Billy Elliot, we had this room called the Billy Room, and there was always a Billy backstage while the show was going on, because the show was so labour-intensive, it was very dangerous, there s lots of moving parts, there s lots of acrobatics.
3
SPEAKER_02
It wasn t too uncommon for a Billy to get injured, and then there would be someone upstairs who would replace that Billy.
3
SPEAKER_02
And we would just hang out upstairs, and there was an Xbox and a television and all that sort of stuff.
3
SPEAKER_02
And one of the DVDs that we had, the two DVDs we had were Step Up to the Street,
3
SPEAKER_02
My favorite film of all time.
3
SPEAKER_02
And Rocky 2.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I must have seen that film 40 times.
3
SPEAKER_02
I love that film.
3
SPEAKER_02
How many times did you practice the dance in the mirror?
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh man, I ve got the whole dance down right.
3
SPEAKER_02
Can we see it?
3
SPEAKER_00
No!
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, no, I love that film.
3
SPEAKER_00
I absolutely love that film.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
I d say, I d say my favorite.
3
SPEAKER_00
So Rocky was my favorite because I d watch it with my dad and Rocky.
3
SPEAKER_00
I struggled between Rocky three and Rocky four because I love Mr. T. That s four, right?
3
SPEAKER_00
That s three.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I loved Ivan Drago as well, which was four.
3
SPEAKER_00
And they were both just such great movies.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s just, yeah, it s such great entertainment, even though it s nothing like real boxing.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, nothing at all, nothing at all.
3
SPEAKER_00
Nothing like real boxing.
3
SPEAKER_00
But then I remember watching real boxing when I was growing up, it was Prince Nassim.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh man, I love him.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, my dad was a big fan of his, so I d remember watching him a lot.
3
SPEAKER_00
I love his style.
3
SPEAKER_02
There s a video of him working with the, I guess he s just, it s like a swinging bag, and he is so effortless.
3
SPEAKER_02
Because Canelo s got a great head movement, but he looks like he s thinking about it.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
Whereas Nassim is just,
3
SPEAKER_02
live in the dream.
3
SPEAKER_02
Just he s so fluid and I love the way he used to move.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I love how he would enter the ring.
3
SPEAKER_02
Me, I would over-rotate and slam on my face or something.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, he was brilliant.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it was like wrestling meets boxing.
3
SPEAKER_02
He must have been a nightmare to fight.
3
SPEAKER_02
It must have been like, he s beating me and he s embarrassing me.
3
SPEAKER_02
This is really tough.
3
SPEAKER_02
Terrible.
3
SPEAKER_02
What do you think of Lemachenko?
3
SPEAKER_02
Did you see his last fight?
3
SPEAKER_01
I haven t.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, I didn t see it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I didn t see it.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s an interesting one.
3
SPEAKER_01
Go on, tell me.
3
SPEAKER_01
I didn t see it at all.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, I think the general consensus is that he won.
3
SPEAKER_02
But it was given the other way.
3
SPEAKER_02
He is my favorite boxer because of his history, his background in dance.
3
SPEAKER_02
He was like, I guess, a really talented boxer.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then I guess, I don t know if this is true, but his dad sent him to go and study dance for sort of five years or something like that.
3
SPEAKER_02
For his boxing.
3
SPEAKER_02
For his boxing, which is why his footwork is like on another planet.
3
SPEAKER_02
There s loads of examples of where he s fighting people and they look up and he s just gone.
3
SPEAKER_02
He s behind them.
3
SPEAKER_02
So I really admire him, but his most recent fight, he lost.
3
SPEAKER_02
How did it go against him?
3
SPEAKER_02
Was it a vote?
3
SPEAKER_00
It was a vote, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
They went against him.
3
SPEAKER_02
So I wonder whether they ll fight again.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
I guess they ll have to if there s, it seems like this isn t a conspiracy theory from you.
3
SPEAKER_02
But that s the problem with boxing though.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like, will they fight again?
3
SPEAKER_02
You know, because it s a tricky, it s a tricky business.
3
SPEAKER_02
Unlike the UFC where, you know, if they want to fight, they ll fight.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s what I love about it.
3
SPEAKER_02
I took my brother and my cousin to the UFC the other night and...
3
SPEAKER_02
That is such a savage sport.
3
SPEAKER_02
It is.
3
SPEAKER_02
That is, yeah, it s terrifying.
3
SPEAKER_00
We really don t want that to be a movie in a real one.
3
SPEAKER_00
Have you seen The Warrior?
3
SPEAKER_00
Is that what you re going to talk about?
3
SPEAKER_00
Mate, that movie s so good.
3
SPEAKER_00
The Warrior is one of the most underrated movies.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s so good, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s a little ridiculous, the idea that they have like six fights a night getting ready for one final, but I do love that film.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s a really good movie.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, well, okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
All right.
3
SPEAKER_00
So we know there s a boxing movie coming somewhere down the line.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, there s got to be one down the line.
3
SPEAKER_00
There s got to be one down the line.
3
SPEAKER_00
Absolutely.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
And we want to see you work your way up and I mean, we might see you like, you know, actually go do it for real.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, imagine.
3
SPEAKER_00
For charity, maybe.
3
SPEAKER_00
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One of the things that you mentioned recently was that you gave up drinking about a year and a half ago.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
And you said it was the hardest thing you ever did.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I wanted to know what was so hard about it for you?
3
SPEAKER_00
Why was it so hard?
3
SPEAKER_02
It s interesting.
3
SPEAKER_02
I didn t one day wake up and say, I m giving up drinking.
3
SPEAKER_02
I just
3
SPEAKER_02
Like many Brits had had a very, very boozy December, Christmas time, I was on vacation, I was drinking a lot.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I ve always been able to drink a lot.
3
SPEAKER_02
I think I get my genes from my mom s side in that thing, I can drink.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I decided to just give up for January.
3
SPEAKER_02
I just wanted to do dry January.
3
SPEAKER_02
And all I could think about was having a drink.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s all I could think about.
3
SPEAKER_02
I was waking up thinking about it.
3
SPEAKER_02
I was checking the clock, when s it 12?
3
SPEAKER_02
And it just really scared me.
3
SPEAKER_02
I just was like, wow, maybe I have a little bit of an alcohol thing.
3
SPEAKER_02
So I sort of decided to punish myself and say, I ll do February as well.
3
SPEAKER_02
I ll do two months off.
3
SPEAKER_02
If I can do two months off, then I can prove to myself I don t have a problem.
3
SPEAKER_02
Two months go by.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I was still really struggling.
3
SPEAKER_02
I felt like I couldn t be social.
3
SPEAKER_02
I felt like I couldn t go to the pub and have a lime soda.
3
SPEAKER_02
I couldn t go out for dinner.
3
SPEAKER_02
I was really, really struggling.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I started to really worry that maybe I had an alcohol problem.
3
SPEAKER_02
So I decided that I would wait until my birthday, which is June 1st.
3
SPEAKER_02
I said to myself, if I can do six months without alcohol, then I can prove to myself that I don t have a problem.
3
SPEAKER_02
And by the time I had got to June 1st, I was the happiest I ve ever been in my life.
3
SPEAKER_02
I could sleep better.
3
SPEAKER_02
I could handle problems better.
3
SPEAKER_02
Things that would go wrong on set that would normally set me off, I could take in my stride.
3
SPEAKER_02
I had so much, such better mental clarity.
3
SPEAKER_02
I felt healthier.
3
SPEAKER_02
I felt fitter.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I just sort of said to myself, like, why, why am I enslaved to this drink?
3
SPEAKER_02
Why am I so obsessed by the idea of having this drink?
3
SPEAKER_02
And I would look back and recognize that I would go to events for work and
4
SPEAKER_00
I can t enjoy myself until I ve had a few beers.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I just felt so much pressure.
4
SPEAKER_00
And this is one of the things why I ve sort of distanced myself from the rugby community, because so much of it is about how much can you drink?
4
SPEAKER_00
Let s get you as drunk as possible.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it s honestly been the best thing I ve ever done.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m a year and a half into it now.
4
SPEAKER_00
It doesn t even cross my mind.
4
SPEAKER_00
I found amazing replacements that I think are fantastic.
4
SPEAKER_00
Ones that are also really healthy.
4
SPEAKER_00
I found this one beer that
4
SPEAKER_00
full of electrolytes and it s, you know, the carbohydrates in it are long lasting energy.
4
SPEAKER_00
So like having a beer is now actually like a really healthy thing.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m really lucky that all my friends are super supportive about it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I ve never run into that scenario where my friends are like, oh, go on, just have a beer, like you re fine.
4
SPEAKER_00
They ve always sort of really supported me.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I don t want to be that person that s saying to people, you should get sober, you should get sober.
4
SPEAKER_00
If I could encourage someone to drink less,
4
SPEAKER_00
then that s great.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I don t want to start getting into the world of, you need to stop drinking, because I just, it s not for me to say.
4
SPEAKER_00
I went on my own little journey.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m really enjoying it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m delighted that my mum s also given up.
4
SPEAKER_00
She s loving it.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it s been amazing.
4
SPEAKER_00
I can t believe the difference that I feel from not drinking.
4
SPEAKER_00
I feel amazing.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s amazing, man.
4
SPEAKER_01
I love hearing that.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I love hearing that it s been great for you, right?
4
SPEAKER_01
I think that s the point.
4
SPEAKER_01
Not everything has to be like, look what I did.
4
SPEAKER_01
You can do it too.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s kind of like, no, this is just what s been great for me.
4
SPEAKER_01
Do you think it was partly that attitude
4
SPEAKER_01
for you at least in the beginning where it s like, well, I can drink.
4
SPEAKER_01
I drink a lot.
4
SPEAKER_01
It comes from my mum genes and it doesn t affect me.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then all of a sudden you realize, well, wait a minute.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s more than that.
4
SPEAKER_01
Because I think there is that.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like I was like that as a young man as well.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like for me, it was, it was easy to drink.
4
SPEAKER_01
I didn t drink daily for me.
4
SPEAKER_01
I drank a lot more socially and I love playing drinking games with my mates.
4
SPEAKER_01
That was really what I enjoyed the most probably.
4
SPEAKER_01
And for me, when I quit, I could just quickly see how it just got me into doing things I would never do if I wasn t drunk.
4
SPEAKER_01
So for me, it was more that.
4
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, I wonder for you, did you find that there s a really fine line between like, oh, I know I can drink a lot.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then all of a sudden you re kind of addicted, not addicted beyond that.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, addicted, mate.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m happy to say I was definitely addicted to alcohol, not shying away from that at all.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think anyone that wakes up and has, not wakes up, anyone that has a beer every day is probably got a little bit of a problem.
4
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, you re right.
4
SPEAKER_00
I would drink and drink and drink and drink.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then you would just reach that moment where you re like, wow, I shouldn t have had that last beer.
4
SPEAKER_00
And you wake up the next day and you have a terrible headache and you re suffering.
4
SPEAKER_00
I bought one of those rings that will tell you about your sleep.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Or a ring.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it was amazing because I couldn t sleep.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was like, why can t I sleep?
4
SPEAKER_00
I m working 14 hours a day.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m doing two hours in the gym.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m eating really healthily and I can t sleep.
4
SPEAKER_00
What s wrong with me?
4
SPEAKER_00
I bought this ring and it was booze.
4
SPEAKER_00
It just, it was completely affecting my sleep.
4
SPEAKER_00
And since I ve given it up, I can sleep anywhere.
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, it s also interesting as well, going on nights out and having a great time as the sober person and then getting to that point in the night where people start, you know, spitting in your ear and everyone s like, I love you, man.
4
SPEAKER_00
I love you so much.
4
SPEAKER_00
And you re like, yeah, brilliant.
4
SPEAKER_00
I love you too.
4
SPEAKER_00
I ll see you tomorrow.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m going to bed.
4
SPEAKER_00
I love being that person now.
4
SPEAKER_00
I love seeing my friends on the golf course at 8am in the morning, feeling fresh and ready to go.
4
SPEAKER_00
And they re sort of crawling out their car.
4
SPEAKER_00
And so, yeah, so I m,
4
SPEAKER_00
over the moon to be sober.
4
SPEAKER_00
I love it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
For anyone who is listening right now and is going, Tom, I love that for you.
4
SPEAKER_01
I want to do it too.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like they re listening going, I m having too much every day.
4
SPEAKER_01
I can notice some of those things, but I m just stuck.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it s hard because we know that addiction is that way.
4
SPEAKER_01
We know that this is heavy.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s not easy.
4
SPEAKER_01
But if someone is watching going, Tom, tell me like, what did you do to even get started?
4
SPEAKER_01
How did you have that courage to say, I m going to do January.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m going to stick at it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Were there any moments where you actually fell back and then had to get back on the horse again?
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, just walk us through that a little bit more for anyone who is watching going, Tom, mate, I want to be in your position in like six months.
4
SPEAKER_00
I didn t fall back on it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I have done in the past.
4
SPEAKER_00
I ve had periods of my life where I d given up drinking and then gone back to drinking.
4
SPEAKER_00
But this time,
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_00
It was just different.
4
SPEAKER_00
I really worked to sort of change my mindset.
4
SPEAKER_00
I really asked myself, like, why do you drink?
4
SPEAKER_00
Why are you drinking?
4
SPEAKER_00
And a lot of the time my answer would be to feel more comfortable in a social environment.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I just put myself in those environments and just would force myself to be there.
4
SPEAKER_00
I d force myself to hang out and go to a club or go to a bar, go to a dinner.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so you weren t avoiding those places.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was at the beginning because I didn t feel like I could go and not have a drink because of the stress of it.
4
SPEAKER_00
But then after a while, I sort of was like, mate, you ve got to pull your socks up here and you can t just live in your house all the time.
4
SPEAKER_00
You ve got to go out and enjoy yourself.
4
SPEAKER_00
And if you re only enjoying yourself because you re drinking, then you really do have a problem.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I just changed my mindset.
4
SPEAKER_00
I just, I found really good replacements.
4
SPEAKER_00
things that I could sort of attribute to having a beer.
4
SPEAKER_00
I often found with me, most of it is just the ritual of cracking something open and sharing it with friends and drinking it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Whether it s sparkling water or a beer, I now can t, I don t associate like, I don t see a difference.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I think it s different for everyone.
4
SPEAKER_00
I had a great support system.
4
SPEAKER_00
Jack is one of my best mates and we travel all over the world.
4
SPEAKER_00
He doesn t drink and doing it with him was a really,
4
SPEAKER_00
helpful experience for me.
4
SPEAKER_00
My brother is always on the road with me.
4
SPEAKER_00
He was very supportive.
4
SPEAKER_00
And yeah, I just really set my mind to it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was like, I really want to do this.
4
SPEAKER_00
I want to prove to myself I can do it.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then once I d felt the health benefits and started really feeling like my full self, I was like, oh my God, this is, this is the best.
4
SPEAKER_00
But do you not drink?
4
SPEAKER_01
I haven t drank for 17 years.
4
SPEAKER_01
No way.
4
SPEAKER_00
Congratulations.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s amazing.
4
SPEAKER_01
Amazing.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s incredible.
4
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s like one of the best feelings in the world.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it s,
4
SPEAKER_01
My biggest like worry when I was about to quit was like, how am I going to hang out with my mates?
4
SPEAKER_01
That was my biggest worry.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was like, my mates knew me as the guy who was like first to the game, last to get out.
4
SPEAKER_01
That was me.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, the clown when I got drunk, like life of the party, kind of like that kind of guy.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then all of a sudden I decided I wasn t going to drink anymore.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was like,
4
SPEAKER_01
crap am I going to fit in?
4
SPEAKER_01
And then I remember I went into the corporate world for a bit and I didn t drink and I was like, God, am I going to miss out on like opportunities and networking?
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, you know, all the guys afterwards are like going to get drinks and I m like, I ll come, but I ll have a water or I ll have a soda, whatever it is.
4
SPEAKER_01
And what was really interesting for me is not relying on drinking.
4
SPEAKER_01
made me rely on qualities and skills I had that were actually better.
4
SPEAKER_01
So now that I couldn t drink as an excuse to hang with the lads, I was bringing out parts of my personality that I probably would have just hidden away or ignored.
4
SPEAKER_01
And all of a sudden you were actually getting respected and liked for who you were rather than the person who you were when you were drunk.
4
SPEAKER_01
And actually that worked in the workplace and there was no one at the workplace going, RJ doesn t drink so he s not getting promoted.
4
SPEAKER_01
It wasn t like that.
4
SPEAKER_01
People were like, oh yeah, I really like hanging out with Jay or he s a really good guy or whatever it may be.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I was still getting the same opportunities and I was still getting promoted at work and whatever it was.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I think that s why I d like to remind people that don t feel like your career or your work is going to suffer.
4
SPEAKER_01
Even for you, like you ve, I m sure as a, you know, with your career path, you have to be at parties, you have to be at events.
4
SPEAKER_01
And the fact that you re able to do that now without having alcohol and you don t, it doesn t sound like it s negatively impacting your career.
4
SPEAKER_01
If anything, it s the opposite.
4
SPEAKER_00
Mate, I honestly cannot believe the amount of times I ve sat down with an actor that I really admired or sat down with a producer or director and been like, oh, you know, well, I don t drink anymore.
4
SPEAKER_00
And they go, I don t drink, 10 years.
4
SPEAKER_00
And you re like, oh my God.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I ve had so many insightful conversations with people like yourself, where you ve heard their story, their reason for giving up.
4
SPEAKER_00
And there is a wonderful community of people.
4
SPEAKER_00
And
4
SPEAKER_00
I love it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I love being a part of that community.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m really proud to be a part of it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I hope that, you know, I can meet other people and chat to them about it because it s really nice.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s lovely to be like, let s go get a lime soda together.
4
SPEAKER_00
You know?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Let s get a juice.
4
SPEAKER_01
Let s get a smoothie.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
No, it is true.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s true.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it s really interesting because they, I can t remember.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m trying to remember.
4
SPEAKER_01
There was this blog that came out years ago.
4
SPEAKER_01
I can t even remember it now.
4
SPEAKER_01
And there was this girl on Instagram who was getting a lot of likes and a lot of comments and a lot of attention.
4
SPEAKER_01
And one day she just disappeared.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like she stopped posting and everyone s just like, all the comments were like, where are you?
4
SPEAKER_01
What happened?
4
SPEAKER_01
Are you okay?
4
SPEAKER_01
Like what happened to you?
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, everyone was frantic trying to figure out what happened to her because they loved her.
4
SPEAKER_01
They were following her and all the rest of it.
4
SPEAKER_01
And
4
SPEAKER_01
What they didn t know is that it was built by a team that was trying to show that what people didn t notice is that in every picture she posted, she was drinking.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it was made up.
4
SPEAKER_01
It was almost like original AI.
4
SPEAKER_01
That was made up to prove the point that you can love someone and you can think you re really close to them and you can think their lifestyle looks amazing, but actually they ve got a drink in every picture they post.
4
SPEAKER_01
And you didn t realize they had an alcohol problem.
4
SPEAKER_01
So there was no real person who died.
4
SPEAKER_01
But the point was that your friends could be struggling
4
SPEAKER_01
even when they re posting these beautiful lifestyle pictures, but are you aware?
4
SPEAKER_01
And are you conscious of how much it affects you?
4
SPEAKER_01
And I can t remember who built that page.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, I think that s one of the problems with alcohol is that if you came out with alcohol right now, if alcohol wasn t a thing and you like, I ve invented this drink that is going to make you like either really happy or really aggressive or really stupid, and we re going to just sell it to the masses.
4
SPEAKER_00
People would be like, nah mate, keep your funky juice, like we don t want that, that sounds terrible.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it s one of those things, because it is so socially acceptable, that the addiction side of it, the bad sides of it, really do fly under the radar.
4
SPEAKER_00
And that s really interesting.
4
SPEAKER_00
I ll tell you something I do love about being a non-drinker.
4
SPEAKER_00
I love being the devil.
5
SPEAKER_00
designated driver.
5
SPEAKER_00
I love being that person that makes sure that everyone gets home.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_00
I just, I like being a dependable person.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think I m quite dependable and I really like that, that thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I saw this crazy YouTube video once, this was years ago of a guy that went to a bar, he got drunk and he drove home and he crashed his car.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I don t know if this is real.
5
SPEAKER_00
It could have been fake, but it s really impactful.
5
SPEAKER_00
Basically what his friend had done was
5
SPEAKER_00
set up the room as if he had been in a coma for like 10 years.
5
SPEAKER_00
And his friend wakes up hours after the crash and his friend is there and he had all like old makeup on to make him look older.
5
SPEAKER_00
And now I m thinking about it, there s no way this could have been real because how would they have been able to pull that off?
5
SPEAKER_00
But he basically is saying to him like,
5
SPEAKER_00
You ve been asleep for 10 years.
5
SPEAKER_00
Everyone s missed you.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like we can t believe you re awake.
5
SPEAKER_00
This is amazing.
5
SPEAKER_00
And it shows like how a stupid decision like driving drunk can affect the future of your life.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I do love being the designated driver.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s something I enjoy seeing my friends have a good time being like, don t worry, Tom will take you home.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
I used to love being the designated driver until I realized that an ex-girlfriend just had me do that because I was the one who didn t get to that.
5
SPEAKER_01
That wasn t a fun designated driver job, but I ve always been that guy since because, so I lived as a monk for three years.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, amazing.
5
SPEAKER_01
And when I came back after that, obviously I never went back to drinking alcohol and everything.
5
SPEAKER_01
And so, but I went back into the workplace and I remember everyone would always open up to me and give me advice, but it s what you re saying.
5
SPEAKER_01
When someone was drunk, they tell me their whole life story.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
next day they d wake up and go, Jay, you don t actually remember what I said, right?
5
SPEAKER_01
I m like, I remember everything.
5
SPEAKER_01
They re like, please don t tell anyone.
5
SPEAKER_01
I loved that part where I was like, I was able to be there for people, just hear their stories.
5
SPEAKER_01
And someone that had context the next day, because if they told someone else who was drunk, you d both not remember, then it d be gone.
5
SPEAKER_01
No, I think the benefits that you ve just pointed out of good sleep, good health, great mental clarity, they re huge.
5
SPEAKER_01
But there s a couple of things I want to point out for everyone who s listening, just as takeaways, because Tom makes it
5
SPEAKER_01
So seamless when you re talking about it, it s really beautiful as well.
5
SPEAKER_01
But one of the things you mentioned was finding alternatives.
5
SPEAKER_01
And during my monk life, we always talked about how there was something that we called the higher taste.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it was saying you can never give up a lower taste unless you add a higher taste.
5
SPEAKER_01
And so there has to be a switch, there has to be a replacement.
5
SPEAKER_01
And so the fact that you found alternatives, I think that s half the battle.
5
SPEAKER_01
Because most of us are trying to take something out of our lives
5
SPEAKER_01
and then you re just trying to fill it.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then you have to go back to what you had before because you re not finding a replacement.
5
SPEAKER_01
So that was beautiful.
5
SPEAKER_01
And the second thing you said, which I loved, which was having this conversation and dialogue with other people, someone who s one year ahead of you, someone who s 10 years ahead, someone who s 20 years ahead, who s gone through that process and they re open and honest and vulnerable about
5
SPEAKER_01
you know, I did have a weak moment or you know what, this was really tough for me.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I think having those communities where you can talk about these things makes a massive difference.
5
SPEAKER_01
So if anyone s struggling, I hope that those two things can kind of, you know, give you the support you need.
5
SPEAKER_00
And again, it goes back to the message of the show is that like, you should ask for help and you should feel empowered to do so.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
But tell me about your monk life.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like that must have been amazing.
5
SPEAKER_00
It was special.
5
SPEAKER_00
I ve always been so tempted to go away and do one of those retreats where, you know, you go to somewhere like India and you go to those places where you don t speak for a month or something like that.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like that must have just been the most enlightening experience.
5
SPEAKER_01
Mate, now that you ve said that, when you want to go, I m going to take you.
5
SPEAKER_00
Please, because I would absolutely love to go.
5
SPEAKER_00
I met a guy, I was on holiday earlier this year and he had just got back from a retreat.
5
SPEAKER_00
He did two weeks where he didn t make a sound.
5
SPEAKER_00
and was just explaining to me how eye opening it was.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
No, I, I mean, to me it was one of the best experiences of my life because even the stuff that I did then, I was 22 years old when I did it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Even the stuff that I did then, I don t even know if I d be able to do it anymore now, but there was such a like energy you had as a 22 year old.
5
SPEAKER_01
just open to any experience and wanting to try it all out.
5
SPEAKER_01
Amazing.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I think for me it was because, and it comes back to the people that have done things, when I was 18 was when I first met a monk.
5
SPEAKER_01
I never really knew what monks did or any of their practices, but I met a monk who I write about in my book who just
5
SPEAKER_01
blew my mind because he was the first person I met that I felt was at ease with himself.
5
SPEAKER_01
And when I was 18, I d met people who were like rich and famous and, you know, beautiful and powerful and all this type of stuff.
5
SPEAKER_01
But I don t think I d met anyone who was truly happy and content with themselves.
5
SPEAKER_01
Not happy like, oh, I m so happy.
5
SPEAKER_01
Life s amazing.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean more like happy with who they were.
5
SPEAKER_01
And for some reason at 18, that kind of like was an arrow straight to my heart where I was like, that s
5
SPEAKER_01
That s real.
5
SPEAKER_01
I want that. 
5
SPEAKER_01
And it s so hard to explain because everyone s like, well, how did you know that at 18?
5
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_01
It must ve been how powerful he was.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s kind of like you wake up when the sun s out and the light s out and you just wake up because you feel that energy.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I felt it through him.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then I went to university and I d talk to him and I d meet him in the summers and Christmases.
5
SPEAKER_01
But I just decided, I was like, I want to do this because I d met someone who I felt had emotional and mental mastery in a way that I d never seen before.
5
SPEAKER_01
And so when I went out there and whether it was the meditation training or whether it was the simplicity training of the lifestyle or whether it was the teachings and the values that you had to live by,
5
SPEAKER_01
I just got so, I got so much from it that I honestly believe that anything that I m good at doing today is because of what I learned during that time.
5
SPEAKER_01
And so anything I m good at today is because of that.
5
SPEAKER_01
Do you think that you found what he had?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I believe so.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I would say that.
5
SPEAKER_01
Or has.
5
SPEAKER_01
He s still with us.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I still see him every year.
5
SPEAKER_01
Amazing.
5
SPEAKER_01
And he still has it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s like swag.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like it doesn t go away.
5
SPEAKER_01
He still has it.
5
SPEAKER_01
And yeah, definitely.
5
SPEAKER_01
Definitely.
5
SPEAKER_01
I got a glimpse into it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Obviously he s been doing it for, you know, nearly 30 years and I only did it for three, but you still get to a glimpse of it and you get an experience of it.
5
SPEAKER_01
So you know that it exists.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I think that s half the battle too.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like even with your sobriety, it s like, you just need to know it exists.
5
SPEAKER_01
Totally.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then you re like, wow, there s this other side.
5
SPEAKER_01
A hundred percent.
5
SPEAKER_01
And even though it s a challenge and even though I m still trying to be more mindful every day and I m still working on myself because it s- Of course.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s an endless ongoing thing.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I know.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I take a lot of friends and people I know on retreats there because just a couple of years ago I took someone that I love to one of the caves in Rishikesh.
5
SPEAKER_01
So one of the things I love about caves is that they re equally dark and silent.
5
SPEAKER_01
So it s almost like the first time, like we could be silent in this room and it would be silent, but the silence of a cave
5
SPEAKER_01
It s just different.
5
SPEAKER_01
And so when you go in then you can t see anything either, so you can t even see yourself.
5
SPEAKER_00
So you re so deep into the cave that there s no light from the mouth of the cave anymore.
5
SPEAKER_01
There s no light from the mouth of the cave.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I don t know about that mate, that would really stress me out.
5
SPEAKER_01
No, you hold hands.
5
SPEAKER_01
But it s just, it s one of those experiences that you actually get to experience
5
SPEAKER_01
real stillness and real silence and real, real disconnection from everything around you.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then you can actually listen to yourself.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s interesting.
5
SPEAKER_00
I would love to do something like that.
5
SPEAKER_00
Something that I find myself doing a lot is if I see a beautiful landscape or something, I will try and see if I can find an angle of it where there s nothing man-made in the view.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know what it s like, you see a beautiful hill or something and there s a telephone pole in the middle of it or a lamppost or something.
5
SPEAKER_00
So doing something like that, where there is nothing but just Mother Nature and the silence and being with yourself.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m obsessed with nature, it s one of my biggest passions.
5
SPEAKER_00
This new Our Planet show has just come out, one sitting, I ve done the whole thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I would love to do something like that.
5
SPEAKER_00
So next time you go in, let me know, I ll come with you.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, we ll figure it out.
5
SPEAKER_01
No, where s a place?
5
SPEAKER_01
I love nature too.
5
SPEAKER_01
I just took my, me and my wife just went to Bali.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I love Bali.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it was unbelievable.
5
SPEAKER_01
We went whitewater rafting and it almost felt like Jurassic Park.
5
SPEAKER_01
I was just waiting for a dinosaur head to pop out and it was just beautiful.
5
SPEAKER_01
It was so lush.
5
SPEAKER_01
It was so natural.
5
SPEAKER_00
I love Bali.
5
SPEAKER_01
Waterfalls everywhere.
5
SPEAKER_01
And another place that I ve loved nature-wise, India, of course, we mentioned, but Iceland.
5
SPEAKER_00
I d love to go to Iceland.
5
SPEAKER_01
I got to go to Iceland a few years ago and my friend was filming a documentary out there.
5
SPEAKER_01
And so I got to experience it with the documentary travelers and we went to a real glacier and we went to, you know, and it was incredible to just, it was the first time I felt like I d landed on another planet.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
It was just, I literally, I was like, this looks like nothing I ve ever seen before in my life.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like I m on another, like I, I could have, I could have gone into outer space and landed on another planet.
5
SPEAKER_00
There s a reason why every single space film, Iceland is the first on the list for locations.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, is that?
5
SPEAKER_00
I didn t know that.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think Interstellar probably shot in Iceland.
5
SPEAKER_00
I went to the glacier they shot.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I m sure all of those films, you know, cause you could do, you could do Mars, you could do Venus all in, you know, in Iceland.
5
SPEAKER_00
I would love to go.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_00
We were thinking about doing some climbing and I m not sure about how I feel about glaciers and walking across them and just falling and never being found.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
We, we walked across them and obviously there were teams there, but, and then they had an expert and they went down into the glacier.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like they went into one, like, and it was, and it was really scary because while we were walking on the glacier and we ve got
6
SPEAKER_01
I forgot what those little boots are called, the ones with the kind of like- The little prongs.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
I forgot what they re called.
6
SPEAKER_01
But anyway, we had those on and- Crapons.
6
SPEAKER_01
Crampons.
6
SPEAKER_00
Crampons.
6
SPEAKER_00
Crampons.
6
SPEAKER_00
Okay, crampons.
6
SPEAKER_01
Thank you for that, Jack.
6
SPEAKER_01
And so we re wearing these crampons and literally it was like three steps further and you would have fallen and you don t see it.
6
SPEAKER_01
And you would never be found.
6
SPEAKER_01
And you would never be found and you d never know.
6
SPEAKER_01
And it would be like that movie, what s it, 126 Hours, where the guy had to swat off his own arm.
6
SPEAKER_00
126 Hours, mate.
6
SPEAKER_00
In 10 minutes, the ice would just-
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, no, that s a bit too far for me.
6
SPEAKER_01
Well, if you went with a group of, you know, experts and all the rest of it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but you ve seen the documentary.
6
SPEAKER_00
Sometimes the experts go out and it s a one way story.
6
SPEAKER_00
They don t ever come back, you know?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
No, you got, you got to be careful.
6
SPEAKER_01
I agree.
6
SPEAKER_01
I ll show you some videos later though, because it was pretty spectacular.
6
SPEAKER_01
It was really amazing.
6
SPEAKER_01
No, I love that with your journey with Sobriety.
6
SPEAKER_01
And again, the other thing, we were talking about this earlier, going back to it, was you decided to take a break from acting.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
Because you were doing this role, it was really tough and challenging.
6
SPEAKER_01
And you were like, you need some time.
6
SPEAKER_01
And again, you were saying that that was misconstrued.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I just, before we dive into why you needed to take a break and what was challenging about it, I just wanted to just, if you wanted to give context to that, and you don t have to, but if you wanted to.
6
SPEAKER_01
Sure.
6
SPEAKER_01
to clarify what you meant and what was going on there.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s only a break from acting because I m an actor.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s not like the acting itself.
6
SPEAKER_00
I just have been so lucky that in my life I ve been working so much.
6
SPEAKER_00
I just wanted to take a break.
6
SPEAKER_00
I just wanted to be in one place for a while.
6
SPEAKER_00
I wanted to be with my friends, be with my family, move into my house.
6
SPEAKER_00
So it wasn t necessarily, oh my God, I need to have a break from acting because it s too much.
6
SPEAKER_00
I just needed to have a break from traveling and working.
6
SPEAKER_00
And also I ve done so much of my growing up on the road.
6
SPEAKER_00
I needed to do a lot of growing up at home, paying my water bill, paying my council tax and sorting out my bins and all that sort of stuff that they don t teach you at school, which I think there should be a lesson.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think there should be a lesson at school that s called life, which is like laundry, basic cooking, like,
6
SPEAKER_00
I didn t realise you had to pay for your water, I just thought that was a luxury of living in England, that the water comes out the sky and then it comes out your tap.
6
SPEAKER_00
I was so behind on my water bill, I didn t realise.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m up to date now, don t worry.
6
SPEAKER_00
So yeah, I just wanted to take this break and it s a shame, again, talking about the press and how they can spin things, it s a shame that this year off has come after this incredibly hard job and that they kind of ran with this idea that
6
SPEAKER_00
Yes, the show did break me and yes, it was difficult, but I could have gone back to work.
6
SPEAKER_00
I was always planning on taking this break after this job.
6
SPEAKER_00
So thank you for giving me the time to sort of clarify that.
6
SPEAKER_00
I am loving having time off and going back to work is something that isn t really on my radar yet.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m just loving being with my family and my friends and, and enjoying, you know, the fruits of my labor a little bit and traveling and seeing the world because, you know, we get to see the world for work.
6
SPEAKER_00
But it s different.
6
SPEAKER_00
You know, going off of your own accord and seeing these places and meeting people is what I love.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m very social, which is one of the things I found so difficult about giving up alcohol is because I was like, that s my key to my social life.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then I realized I was like, no, you re just actually naturally a really social person.
6
SPEAKER_00
The alcohol is just an additive to that.
6
SPEAKER_00
So get rid of it.
6
SPEAKER_00
So yeah, so my year off has been amazing.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m loving it.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m six months, seven months into it now.
6
SPEAKER_00
I have a job to go to, but you know, obviously we re going through this writer s strike right now.
6
SPEAKER_00
We re unsure as to where we are.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m hoping that, you know, the writers can make a deal and will be looked after as they should be, because it d be great to get back to work, but I m in no rush.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m really loving some time at home.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Cause how old are you now? 27.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
And so if you ve been working since you were nine or at least later on into your teens, I think people forget that.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I coach personally a lot of musicians and who go on tour a lot.
6
SPEAKER_01
Sure.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I just finished a 40 city world tour for my second book.
6
SPEAKER_01
And we did like 40 cities, maybe in like 75, 80 days, maybe like it was intense.
6
SPEAKER_01
And we went all over the world.
6
SPEAKER_01
So we did like 15.
6
SPEAKER_00
I ve never done anything like that.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
It was intense.
6
SPEAKER_01
Did 15 cities in the US and then 25 cities around the world.
6
SPEAKER_01
And so we did everyone from Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin, Melbourne.
6
SPEAKER_01
We did three shows at the Sydney Opera House, Brisbane, did Singapore, did five shows in India, did Dubai.
6
SPEAKER_01
And it was amazing.
6
SPEAKER_01
I had one of the best experiences of my life.
6
SPEAKER_01
At the same time, I was reflecting on
6
SPEAKER_01
my music clients who have to do 100, 150 shows, a lot of them pull out of doing their tours.
6
SPEAKER_01
A lot of them announce, kind of like you re saying, I took a break.
6
SPEAKER_01
A lot of them will announce and say, you know what guys, I can t finish.
6
SPEAKER_01
I can t do it anymore.
6
SPEAKER_01
And it s really interesting because I messaged some of them straight away saying, I always could understand why you needed that.
6
SPEAKER_01
Now I actually have actual empathy for you because now I m on the road.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I can see how displacing it is.
6
SPEAKER_01
Sure.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I m older and I have a certain set of skills that help me with that based on my monk life and all the rest of it.
6
SPEAKER_01
But I can imagine if you ve been touring since you were 15 years old, which is what a lot of these artists have done.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
you ve, like you just said, you grow up on the road.
6
SPEAKER_01
Sure.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then all of a sudden you re like, well, who am I?
6
SPEAKER_01
And who are my friends?
6
SPEAKER_01
And what is my life?
6
SPEAKER_01
And now everyone that I pay is my friend and that s the only friends I have.
6
SPEAKER_01
And you know, and so it s really interesting how when you get a little glimpse into someone s life, and then on my, the last show I had was in Barcelona.
6
SPEAKER_01
I love Barcelona.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it was amazing.
6
SPEAKER_01
And the night before my last show, Live Nation, who was doing my show there, they also do a Coldplay s tour.
6
SPEAKER_01
And they were like, do you want to come to Coldplay?
6
SPEAKER_01
I was like, I d love to watch Coldplay.
6
SPEAKER_01
So on the night before to watch Coldplay, it was unbelievable.
6
SPEAKER_01
They did four sold-out shows of 65,000 people each night in Barcelona.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I went towards the fourth night, and Chris Martin and the crew were just unbelievable.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then I found out it was their 89th show.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I was thinking, gosh, it is so hard.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s just so hard.
6
SPEAKER_01
And all their families are with them, and traveling with them, and all the rest of it.
6
SPEAKER_01
And so I want to touch on that with you as well, that walk us through, because
6
SPEAKER_01
I ve talked about this with actors offline, and I don t think I ve fully done it online.
6
SPEAKER_01
And so if you re willing to go there, I d really appreciate it.
6
SPEAKER_01
When you re playing a role, I think as a viewer, we massively underestimate
6
SPEAKER_01
how hard acting is, especially when the role is the kind of role that you re playing in the crowded room.
6
SPEAKER_01
I think we just underestimate as a viewer, and I m fortunate enough to know enough actors offline where I ve had these conversations before, whether it s people who do method acting or whether it s people who, you know, really try and get into character.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like you always hear about the stories of like how Jared Leto, when he was becoming the Joker, was sending people rats and human feces in their mail, like literally live.
6
SPEAKER_00
I tell you what, if you send me human feces in my mail, there d be trouble.
6
SPEAKER_00
I wouldn t be putting up with that.
6
SPEAKER_00
You and Joe Leto in a boxing match.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, there ll be a boxing movie then.
6
SPEAKER_01
But, but you know, that idea of like, I think, I think as viewers, we don t, it s what I m saying is like, when I went on tour, I was like, I get it.
6
SPEAKER_01
I get it now.
6
SPEAKER_01
As viewers, we don t get it because we don t really hear about the deep process that actors go through of getting into a role, playing someone with
6
SPEAKER_01
multiple personalities.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like, you know, I don t know.
6
SPEAKER_01
Is that, is that tough or is it actually, or is that not, am I getting it wrong?
6
SPEAKER_01
And that s not actually the tough part.
6
SPEAKER_01
You re definitely not getting it wrong.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think it s just different.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s case by case.
6
SPEAKER_00
You know, there are people like Jared who dive into their roles and they do things like sending people dead rats and stuff like that.
6
SPEAKER_00
And they think that that s what they need to do.
6
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I ve always been really good at separating my onset emotions from my personal life emotions.
6
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As a young kid, I used to really heavily rely on my personal emotions to get them to come across on screen.
6
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And I just found it really unhealthy.
6
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I just found that the line between my life and my character s life would be blurred.
6
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And ultimately, at the end of the experience of making the film, I would be a very different person.
6
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But not because of my experiences as Tom, it would be because of my experiences as my character.
6
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So I decided very early on to find certain techniques and certain ways to get into those emotions from a sort of technical point of view.
6
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I never sit on set and think about my mum getting sick or never speaking to my brothers again or something like that.
6
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I never blur the lines with my personal life and my work life.
6
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I always leave work at work.
6
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There are jobs like The Crowded Room that are
6
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particularly taxing, getting to those emotions on a daily basis is really difficult and really tiring.
6
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But, you know, it s probably somewhat like Coldplay on their 89th show.
6
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You just dig your heels in.
6
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You realize you ve got a job to do.
6
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We re all wonderfully well paid.
6
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There are people that work far harder for far less.
6
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I recognize how lucky I am.
6
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So I m like, if I need to cry today and tomorrow and the next 50 days in a row, I ll do so.
6
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Yes, it s difficult, but
6
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I think your question, I m probably the worst person to ask that because I think I have like a really healthy outlook on how I achieve my emotions on set.
6
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But I have worked with people that
6
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shut their bedroom door and just dive into the character and are pouring through the script every night and are in character all the time.
6
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And I admire them.
6
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I don t necessarily think it s the healthiest way to go about it.
6
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, I ve always been really strict on myself to leave my work at work.
6
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Obviously, I come home and read the script and do all of my prep work, but I m not.
6
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I m leaving the character at work because it s too much, especially when you re playing a character like Danny for
7
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in the crowded room, you can t bring that into your personal life.
7
SPEAKER_03
It s tough.
7
SPEAKER_02
I know, that s why I spent my whole week composing a haiku for the occasion.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s about my emotional journey in podcasting over the last seven years, and it s called Earthquake House.
7
SPEAKER_03
Mango, I m going to cut you off right there.
7
SPEAKER_02
Why don t we just tell people about our show instead?
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that s a better idea.
7
SPEAKER_02
So every week on Part-Time Genius, we feed our curiosity by answering the world s most important questions.
7
SPEAKER_02
Things like, when did America start dialing 911?
7
SPEAKER_02
Is William Shatner s best acting work in Esperanto?
7
SPEAKER_02
Also, what happened to Esperanto?
7
SPEAKER_03
Plus, we cover questions like how Chinese is your Chinese food?
7
SPEAKER_03
How do dollar stores stay in business?
7
SPEAKER_03
And of course, is there an Illuminati of cheese?
7
SPEAKER_02
There absolutely is.
7
SPEAKER_02
And we are risking our lives by talking about it.
7
SPEAKER_02
But if you love mind-blowing facts, incredible history and really bad jokes, make your brains happy and tune in to Part-Time Genius.
7
SPEAKER_03
Listen to Part-Time Genius on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
7
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When the Taliban banned music in Afghanistan, millions were plunged into silence.
7
SPEAKER_00
Radios were smashed.
7
SPEAKER_00
Cassettes burned.
7
SPEAKER_00
You could be beaten or jailed or killed for breaking the rules.
7
SPEAKER_00
And yet, Afghans did it anyway.
7
SPEAKER_00
This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.
7
SPEAKER_00
The danger they endured.
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They said my head should be cut off.
7
SPEAKER_00
The joy they brought to the nation.
7
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You re free completely.
7
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No one is there to destroy you.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m John Legend.
7
SPEAKER_00
Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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SPEAKER_06
Hey everyone, this is Molly and Matt and we re the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting.
7
SPEAKER_06
like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.
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We re back with season two of the podcast, which means more opportunities to glow up and become a more responsible and better adult, one life lesson at a time.
7
SPEAKER_06
And let me just tell you, this show is just as much for us as it is for you.
7
SPEAKER_06
So let s figure this stuff out together.
7
SPEAKER_06
This season, we re going to talk about whether or not we re financially and emotionally ready for dog ownership.
7
SPEAKER_01
We re going to figure out the benefits of a high yield savings account.
7
SPEAKER_06
And what exactly are the duties of being a member of the wedding party?
7
SPEAKER_01
All that plus so much more.
7
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Let s learn about all of it and then some.
7
SPEAKER_06
Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
7
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
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Yeah.
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I mean that, but I m actually glad I asked it to you either way, because what I m actually hearing is you did it early on and you saw it wasn t healthy.
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Sure.
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And so you actually found another way.
7
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Yeah.
7
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And, and it s really interesting because a lot of people may not have found another way or that is their way and that is their method.
7
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And so it actually is interesting hearing it from your perspective.
7
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Because you re actually saying, yeah, I could have gone down that road.
7
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I could see the dangers with it.
7
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Right.
7
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And, and obviously it depends on the roles too.
7
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Sorry, you were going to say.
7
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No, it s just, it s my acting coach.
7
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Ben Perkins was my acting coach on my first film.
7
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And that film is really, really emotionally intense.
7
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And we started off by doing things like, can you imagine, you know, your mum passing?
7
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Or can you imagine things like that?
7
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And I would cry instantly.
7
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Yeah.
7
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And he was the one that actually recognized at a point, this is too much for this young kid to kind of take.
7
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So he devised these exercises where him and I could kind of have these fake arguments where I was as a 12 year old.
7
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Oh, maybe I was older than that.
7
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13 year old could recognize that they were exercises and I would allow the emotion to kind of come from these kind of acting techniques, let s call it.
7
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So it was actually Ben that was the one that switched my
7
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my mindset.
7
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I can t take credit for that.
7
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Yeah.
7
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So you, you live in LA?
7
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Yeah.
7
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So I moved to LA five years ago and I moved to the States seven years ago.
7
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So I was in New York for the first two.
7
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Whereabouts in New York were you?
7
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I was on 23rd street near Flatiron.
7
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Okay, nice.
7
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So yeah, it was good in Manhattan and moved with my wife.
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We ve been married for seven years, together for 10.
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Fantastic.
7
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And yeah, it s just been really interesting, mate.
7
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It s like, did you ever end up moving?
7
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Did you ever live in LA at all or in the US at all?
7
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Or have you always been in London?
7
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Sort of what we were talking about earlier, I ve kind of lived all over the place.
7
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I ve lived in LA, I ve lived in New York, I ve lived in Atlanta, you know, I ve lived in Cleveland, which was amazing.
7
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So I really like spending time in the States.
7
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We just obviously created a room, we did a year in New York.
7
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We moved to Tribeca, we started off in Midtown, and Midtown for me was a bit of a nightmare, it s where all the schools are, so I d come home from work and I d come outside and it s like, all the biggest Spider-Man fans you ve ever seen in your life are like, oh my god!
7
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Yeah, it s like the worst planning ever, all the kids, yeah.
7
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We moved down to Tribeca to this amazing apartment, which was really lovely, we were very lucky to be down there.
7
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But where, so how do you find LA?
7
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I, so you know what, it s really interesting because when I, I moved to New York first.
7
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Yeah.
7
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And I loved it.
7
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I found New York to be just a bigger, crazier London.
7
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Sure.
7
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A bit more intense.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
7
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And, and I love London.
7
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I m a, I m a London boy through and through.
7
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I went to university here.
7
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My, my family s still here.
7
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My wife s family s here.
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Everyone s here.
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Amazing.
7
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And so, but, but I enjoyed New York.
7
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My wife didn t love New York and
7
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Also at the same time, I started spending more time in LA for work.
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And my wife and I just fell more in love with each other when we were there.
7
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And so that s what it was that drew us there.
7
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It wasn t really, everyone s always like, oh, was it career?
7
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I was like, to be honest, we went there for a month for work.
7
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and we rented an apartment because we re going to be there for a month.
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And we re living together there and we just loved living with each other there.
7
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Home is where the heart is.
7
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, exactly.
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And so we were like, all right, we love it here.
7
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Why don t we pack our bags and move across?
7
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And so we went back to New York.
7
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Two months later, we moved over to LA.
7
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So it wasn t even, you know, and now we ve been there for five years.
7
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And the truth is that I was really intentional
7
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when I move somewhere.
7
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So while I m building my purpose and my work and my career, which I absolutely love what I get to do every day, and I could never have dreamed of doing what I do today, I m super grateful.
7
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But at the same time, I was really intentional about building community and family.
7
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And it was like an actual thought process where I was like, as well as you re always building the people you know at work, you re always building relationships, you re hiring employees and team members and everything.
7
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At the same time, I ve got to think about actually making friendships because
7
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In London, I ve got all my mates.
7
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I ve got my best man at my wedding.
7
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I ve been mates with Raj for like 17 years.
7
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Like I ve got people around me, but in LA, I don t have that.
7
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I don t have any family, any friends.
7
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I don t know anyone.
7
SPEAKER_04
And so I really made an effort.
7
SPEAKER_04
And now after five years, I can honestly say, you know, obviously not in a wonderful way, but the pandemic did help deepen some of those friendships because I was stuck with those people.
7
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So I only could go deeper.
7
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made some really good friends.
7
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And so I feel happy there and I feel really connected to my purpose there.
7
SPEAKER_04
And at the same time, I love coming back to London and hanging out with my mates.
7
SPEAKER_04
And me and my wife made a decision when we moved that we would never say we lived anywhere.
7
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We would just
7
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be allowed to go wherever we wanted to go.
7
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So whenever my wife misses London, she s back on a flight to London.
7
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She ll come live here for two months and come back whenever she wants.
7
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Amazing.
7
SPEAKER_04
And it s the same for me.
7
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And that kind of like not having a rule around, you know, obviously we re lucky to have that choice.
7
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That s an amazing luxury to have.
7
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Yeah, of course.
7
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Yeah.
7
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And yeah, I share the same kind of outlook on it.
7
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You know, I couldn t really say I live anywhere.
7
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I sort of live where the work is.
7
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And when I m not working, I m either here or in LA.
7
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And I m so lucky to be able to sort of call the world my home.
7
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I just go wherever the wind takes me.
7
SPEAKER_04
But that s glorious, man.
7
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, man.
7
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
7
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It s been good.
7
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It s been good for me.
7
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It s been good to me.
7
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And I think because of the work I do, it very clearly lets people know whether I d connect to them or not.
7
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I feel like my work is so obviously one way that it s very easy because not everyone wants this in their life.
7
SPEAKER_04
So it s kind of easy for people to be like, you know, I m not going to make any effort with Jay or I m going to make lots of effort with Jay.
7
SPEAKER_04
And so it kind of makes it very easy because my work is me.
7
SPEAKER_05
Do you find because of what you do and your skillset and your experiences and your life as a monk that people unload on you a lot?
7
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Yes.
7
SPEAKER_05
Like you might meet a new person and they re sort of saying, well, I m feeling this way and I would love to try and get to a place of enlightenment.
7
SPEAKER_05
Like that must happen to you a lot.
7
SPEAKER_05
Yes.
7
SPEAKER_05
Yeah.
7
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A lot.
7
SPEAKER_05
It can happen at the train station, it can happen on a plane, it can happen anywhere in the world.
7
SPEAKER_05
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_05
And do you welcome those conversations?
7
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Do you like having those sorts of conversations?
7
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So I think it depends where we are.
7
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Sure.
7
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And it depends who it is.
7
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And I always say to people as a disclaimer that I don t want to give you the belief
7
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that I can solve your life in 30 seconds, or that I could ever solve your life for you.
7
SPEAKER_04
Just to be really clear.
7
SPEAKER_04
And I always say that to people because people are like, Jay, tell me what I need to do.
7
SPEAKER_04
And I ll be like, look, I just wanted to be fully
8
SPEAKER_00
aware that I m happy to share some insights with you, but I don t have the power or gift or magical ability to transform your life.
8
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And nothing I can say in 30 seconds, I don t even want to take that responsibility on because
8
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we should really think about this, like you should reflect on your life.
8
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Like, especially when people are making big decisions where it s like, should I break up?
8
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Should I move country?
8
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Should I do this?
8
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, we re not solving this in 30 seconds.
8
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This is a bigger conversation.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I like people that takes the pressure off me, but it also takes the pressure off them.
8
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Because a lot, it s not even about me.
8
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This is about the fact that that person needs to make a really important decision.
8
SPEAKER_00
And they re putting all the pressure of their life on that moment.
8
SPEAKER_00
And actually I m saying, well, let s just take it off.
8
SPEAKER_00
And here s a few things I want you to reflect and think about.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I know that will help you and you ll figure it out.
8
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And so, yeah, I welcome them because I appreciate that.
8
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I don t feel that I m the one holding space.
8
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And I don t believe that I m the one who has the power to hold space.
8
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I believe that the universe holds space.
8
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I believe that energetically that space is held for others.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I don t feel I m this powerful human being who s the one that everything rests on and has the answer to everything.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I think that s what allows me to be liberated from it, where I m not like,
8
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I also don t put the pressure on myself going, God, I better say the most perfect thing.
8
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I better change this person s life.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
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And I can t.
8
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And I don t, and I think once upon a time I probably did feel that way.
8
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Like when you re, when you re immature and you re an amateur in your work, you almost feel like you have to have all the answers.
8
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And now I m like, you know what?
8
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I don t.
8
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And it s fine.
8
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actually people really appreciate it when you just chat to them and you know, and so yeah.
8
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And again, you know, I m always happy to listen to someone when I can.
8
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Obviously there s sometimes when I m like rushing late for a plane or I m trying to get into a car or whatever and I can t, I can t do it.
8
SPEAKER_00
But I always stop and say hello, give someone a hug.
8
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So I don t know if that answers your question.
8
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No, absolutely it does.
8
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I guess what s interesting, what you re saying about making decisions, something that I am constantly battling with myself is the inner battle between my gut and my brain.
8
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I know that sounds really weird.
8
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No, it s real.
8
SPEAKER_01
I go with my gut a lot.
8
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I m very, very, I think a lot of the decisions I make in life are very sort of instinctual.
8
SPEAKER_01
I don t like to be bombarded with evidence and facts and all that sort of stuff.
8
SPEAKER_01
I just like to feel a certain way about how
8
SPEAKER_01
I would like something to sort of transpire.
8
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It can be taking a film, accepting a script, doing a business deal, buying a house, like it s all sorts of different things.
8
SPEAKER_01
Through your monk life, did you feel like you would rely on your kind of inner instincts rather than like
8
SPEAKER_01
getting the evidence of this is going to make you this much money, or if you do that, these are the risks.
8
SPEAKER_01
How do you, where do you stand with that sort of thing?
8
SPEAKER_01
That was the most poorly worded question, but you know why I m here.
8
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no, mate, mate.
8
SPEAKER_00
I think both, I think this has been such a conversation that that is what a question sounds like in a conversation.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I think I ve asked you fairly poorly worded questions today as well, but I think that s what real communication is.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
Rather than like, mate, I ve got question one.
8
SPEAKER_00
Right.
8
SPEAKER_00
But no, I think I get what you re saying.
8
SPEAKER_00
And if I go on the wrong track, let me know.
8
SPEAKER_00
But living as a monk, you re trained to understand that everything exists in a certain mode.
8
SPEAKER_00
And so I ll explain what that means.
8
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And so in the monk philosophy, there are three modes.
8
SPEAKER_00
And the modes are the mode of ignorance, the mode of passion, and the mode of goodness.
8
SPEAKER_00
And it s said that every decision, every thought, every action, every intention, every relationship can be in the mode of ignorance, mode of passion, or mode of goodness.
8
SPEAKER_00
And the mode of ignorance is where your relationships or any act is based on insecurity or fear.
8
SPEAKER_00
So when you re doing something out of fear, or you re doing it out of insecurity, or you re doing it out of pressure, that s considered the mode of ignorance.
8
SPEAKER_00
And energetically, we all feel that, right?
8
SPEAKER_00
I would know whether you were being forced to do this interview today out of some sort of fear or some sort of whatever it may be.
8
SPEAKER_00
The mode of passion is where you re doing something because you want a certain result.
8
SPEAKER_00
You re doing it just for the reward.
8
SPEAKER_00
You re doing it just because it s going to get you what you want.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s going to get you to the goal.
8
SPEAKER_00
And so that s considered the mode of passion.
8
SPEAKER_00
And again, energetically, you can tell that when someone has an agenda or someone wants something out of you.
8
SPEAKER_01
I ve come here to get my point across on something.
8
SPEAKER_01
Totally.
8
SPEAKER_00
And then finally, the mode of goodness is the energy of like, I feel really at peace.
8
SPEAKER_00
I feel really ease this feels aligned with my values and therefore it feels like the right decision and so we were trained to sense energetically whether things felt like the mode of ignorance mode of passion or mode of goodness which was a really helpful framework because sometimes things were really hard to.
8
SPEAKER_00
just sense without knowing where it sat in terms of a characteristic.
8
SPEAKER_00
That s so interesting.
8
SPEAKER_00
And so that was really, really helpful at the time.
8
SPEAKER_00
And so I find that I m, I m the same as you where I make decisions energetically.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
But I think having moved into the real world again,
8
SPEAKER_00
I felt that I had to start getting used to understanding other elements.
8
SPEAKER_00
Kind of what you mentioned earlier, which I loved, which was like, I wish they had a class on life at school.
8
SPEAKER_00
Because it s like, you haven t paid your bill and, you know, there s football players not paying their taxes or whatever it may be.
8
SPEAKER_00
And like, that may be for different reasons.
8
SPEAKER_00
But anyway, you get the point that there s some things that you just don t know.
8
SPEAKER_00
And so what I ve started to do, and I ve said this a few times, and that s why it s a little formula that I use.
8
SPEAKER_00
When I sit down with someone,
8
SPEAKER_00
whether it s business, whether it s relationships, whether it s work, even whether it s this, the first thing is always energy.
8
SPEAKER_00
That s my first gate that I want to get through.
8
SPEAKER_00
And if I don t feel energetically aligned with someone, then already there s no future here.
8
SPEAKER_00
Like it s not going anywhere.
8
SPEAKER_00
And then the next thing I look at is strategically, if it s business, so if it s personal, it s only energy.
8
SPEAKER_00
But if it s business, I look at, well, I like this person energetically.
8
SPEAKER_00
Do I think they re strategically aligned?
8
SPEAKER_00
with where this has to go.
8
SPEAKER_00
Like, do I think they can actually implement this?
8
SPEAKER_00
Do I believe?
8
SPEAKER_00
Because a lot of people have great energy, but they don t know how to implement anything.
8
SPEAKER_00
And then finally I look at, well, does the money align?
8
SPEAKER_00
Does the monetary value align with the energy and strategy?
8
SPEAKER_00
That s been my business version of what I learned as a monk.
8
SPEAKER_01
So what you re saying then, that is a combination of both.
8
SPEAKER_01
Correct.
8
SPEAKER_01
Allowing like your gut, your energy,
8
SPEAKER_01
to kind of allow yourself to pursue further the opportunity.
8
SPEAKER_01
And then you take a sort of mental look at it to be like, I m accepting the opportunity from an emotional point of view.
8
SPEAKER_01
Now I need to see if it makes sort of logical sense.
8
SPEAKER_00
Correct.
8
SPEAKER_00
And if it doesn t, then we re going to stop there again.
8
SPEAKER_00
Right, right, right.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, exactly.
8
SPEAKER_00
So I ve found that more useful for me because I found that energetically I can get excited about a lot of stuff.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I m the same.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I m that kind of person.
8
SPEAKER_00
And again, I never want to block that.
8
SPEAKER_00
At the same time, I think
8
SPEAKER_00
we have to become more selective with our opportunities and know when to say no and know how to manage stuff.
8
SPEAKER_00
And that s at least helped me.
8
SPEAKER_00
So again, I m not saying anyone has to live like that.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m just, that s what works for me.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s interesting.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s really interesting.
8
SPEAKER_01
I am very much like go off my gut.
8
SPEAKER_01
I ll tell you what, my mum is
8
SPEAKER_01
an unbelievable judge of character.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I think she might have, without knowing what you re talking about, where she can pick up on people s energies.
8
SPEAKER_01
Because we can meet a new person as a family.
8
SPEAKER_01
We ve met this new person.
8
SPEAKER_01
Three of us could love this new person, and another three could not like this new person.
8
SPEAKER_01
And my mom will be like, no.
8
SPEAKER_01
that no, don t like that person.
8
SPEAKER_01
And then within six months, all of us are like, do you remember that person that we were really good friends with for a little bit?
8
SPEAKER_01
She s really got a keen eye for people that we would get along with.
8
SPEAKER_00
She s amazing like that.
8
SPEAKER_00
Mums are like that.
8
SPEAKER_00
Now that you say that, all my mates who let me down when I was a teenager, my mum called it out every time.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, mum, no, they re my best friend.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m never going to leave them.
8
SPEAKER_00
They re like a brother to me.
8
SPEAKER_00
And then like seven months later, the person stabbed you in the back.
8
SPEAKER_00
And then you re like, oh mum, like, you know.
8
SPEAKER_01
But the good thing about mums is they wouldn t judge you for it.
8
SPEAKER_01
They re like, look, I told you, but you had to make your own mistakes.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, exactly.
8
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
8
SPEAKER_00
But it s interesting that you ve been able to hold on to that.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I love that.
8
SPEAKER_00
Do you feel like, you were asking me about moving to LA and I think, what have you felt?
8
SPEAKER_00
And there s a part of you that s obviously wanting to be back in Kingston, be back to who you are.
8
SPEAKER_00
Have you felt that there s been parts of yourself that have been challenged?
8
SPEAKER_00
I don t feel sitting with you today that
8
SPEAKER_00
You know, I don t know you before, I don t know you after, I ve only met you today, so I can t judge who you are or what you enjoy.
8
SPEAKER_00
All I can say is that when I m sitting with you today, I feel like I m sitting with an authentic individual and your energy comes across very easily.
8
SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
8
SPEAKER_00
Do you feel like you ve had to hold on to that at times with opportunities, challenges, the industry, or is that all stuff that we kind of make up in our heads and it s actually just be yourself and you re fine?
8
SPEAKER_00
I really don t know the answer to that question.
8
SPEAKER_01
I ve definitely walked away from a lot.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I think had I not walked away from certain situations, let s just put it at that, I would be a very different person today.
8
SPEAKER_01
I ve been really good at keeping in touch with my friends, keeping my family close, listening to the lessons.
8
SPEAKER_01
not getting caught up in the Hollywood hype.
8
SPEAKER_01
Like, I really am a massive fan of making movies, but I really do not like Hollywood.
8
SPEAKER_01
It is not for me.
8
SPEAKER_01
The business really scares me.
8
SPEAKER_01
I understand that I m a part of that business and I enjoy my kind of interactions with it.
8
SPEAKER_01
But that said, I am always looking for ways to kind of remove myself from it, to kind of just live as normal a life as possible.
8
SPEAKER_01
Today, doing this is a very
9
SPEAKER_01
rare thing for me to do, like in London, to come in and speak to someone about my life is something I would not typically do, but because I m a fan of yours and I was keen to kind of hear what you had to say and chat to you today, I felt
9
SPEAKER_01
like this would be a safe space for me to do that.
9
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, I definitely think it has been an ongoing thought, which is don t lose yourself.
9
SPEAKER_01
I ve seen so many people come before me and lose themselves.
9
SPEAKER_01
And I ve had friends that I ve grown up with that aren t friends of mine anymore because they ve lost themselves to this business.
9
SPEAKER_01
And
9
SPEAKER_01
I just am really, really keen to focus on what makes me happy, which is my family, it s my friends, it s my carpentry, my golf, the charity that my mum runs.
9
SPEAKER_01
That is the stuff that makes me really happy and that s the stuff that I should protect.
9
SPEAKER_01
My relationship is the thing that I keep most sacred.
9
SPEAKER_01
I don t talk about it.
9
SPEAKER_01
I try my best to keep it as private as possible.
9
SPEAKER_01
We both feel very strongly that that is the healthiest way for us to move on as a couple.
9
SPEAKER_01
So I do try to keep as removed from it as possible.
9
SPEAKER_01
You ll never see me at an award show that I don t have to be at.
9
SPEAKER_01
I m never going to a red carpet event that I m not in the film of.
9
SPEAKER_01
I don t want the attention when I don t need it.
9
SPEAKER_01
I love the spotlight.
9
SPEAKER_01
I love the pressure that comes with it.
9
SPEAKER_01
Just watch that tennis documentary, Breaking Point.
9
SPEAKER_00
You ve got to see it.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s amazing.
9
SPEAKER_01
I never realized how brutal tennis was.
9
SPEAKER_01
I ve always been a huge tennis lover.
9
SPEAKER_01
I am now absolutely in awe of what those athletes go through.
9
SPEAKER_01
But there s a quote from Billie Jean King that s on the stand at her stadium in New York that says, pressure is a privilege.
9
SPEAKER_01
And that is so true.
9
SPEAKER_01
Like, oh my God, feeling pressure on a daily basis in the capacity that we feel is such a privilege.
9
SPEAKER_01
I love feeling pressure.
9
SPEAKER_01
I feel like I thrive under pressure.
9
SPEAKER_01
The best golf I ve ever played in my life is when there are cameras around and people are watching.
9
SPEAKER_01
I just think that that is a real amazing thing to be able to experience.
9
SPEAKER_01
So I enjoy it while I can.
9
SPEAKER_01
And then when it becomes a bit much, I kind of become a bit of a recluse and I disappear.
9
SPEAKER_01
I come back to Kingston.
9
SPEAKER_01
I play golf, I play tennis, I hang out with my friends and my family, do the pub quiz and all that sort of stuff.
9
SPEAKER_01
So yeah, so it is something I actively try to do.
9
SPEAKER_01
As I get older, it only gets easier.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, absolutely.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
And I, I can, I can relate to that where in, in my, in my small way or in my world where a lot of my friends think like I m in LA, like always at events, always at parties.
9
SPEAKER_00
I m not, I m not in bed by 9.30 PM.
9
SPEAKER_00
And I only live there because it works for me in the world that I do and what I do.
9
SPEAKER_00
And I enjoy living in LA, but I don t live there for Hollywood.
9
SPEAKER_00
And I think that s often the perception as well, where everyone s like, oh, you re all Hollywood now.
9
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, well, no, not really.
9
SPEAKER_00
I don t really go to all the events and gatherings and stuff.
9
SPEAKER_00
unless I need to be there or I m connected to a project.
9
SPEAKER_00
So I relate to that.
9
SPEAKER_00
You mentioned a few things there, but if I had to ask you is, Tom, when do you feel most yourself?
9
SPEAKER_00
Like when do you feel most connected?
9
SPEAKER_00
And what are you trying to reconnect to if you re like, well, I know what it is, but I m still figuring it out again?
9
SPEAKER_01
I think when I feel most myself is to do with my relationships, I m going to leave that and not talk about that.
9
SPEAKER_01
Absolutely.
9
SPEAKER_01
But I think the other thing, and this is such a stupid thing, but it s when I m playing good golf, like there s something about how golf is the most humbling sport in the world.
9
SPEAKER_01
It doesn t matter who you are.
9
SPEAKER_01
It doesn t matter how much money you ve got, how successful you are.
9
SPEAKER_01
Golf will batter you no matter who you are.
9
SPEAKER_01
And I love, that s what I love about it.
9
SPEAKER_01
You know, it s such a leveling sport.
9
SPEAKER_01
I love going to a golf course and meeting new people that I ve never played with before, playing around a golf.
9
SPEAKER_01
I struggle when I don t play badly.
9
SPEAKER_01
Like I ve got a bit of a temper and like you re supposed to have 14 clubs in your bag.
9
SPEAKER_01
I currently have nine and you can probably guess why.
9
SPEAKER_01
Um, but I, I just love being outside.
9
SPEAKER_01
I ve always been an outdoorsy person.
9
SPEAKER_01
I love being on the golf course.
9
SPEAKER_01
I love my mates.
9
SPEAKER_01
They all love playing golf.
9
SPEAKER_01
There s just something about the challenge of shooting lower than your lowest score that really
9
SPEAKER_01
kind of takes my mind off of the work.
9
SPEAKER_01
The interesting thing about golf is that you could be having a terrible day, you could be really upset about something, and if you play really well, you completely forget about it.
9
SPEAKER_01
If you play really badly, you then are playing badly because of what s happening outside of golf.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s like a really weird kind of
9
SPEAKER_01
Catch 22, I guess.
9
SPEAKER_01
But I love it.
9
SPEAKER_01
I think when I m playing good golf is when I feel most like myself.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
9
SPEAKER_00
That s a unique answer, but I get it.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s weird.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
I ve only ever played golf like twice in my life.
9
SPEAKER_00
Right.
9
SPEAKER_00
And I totally get the point of how humbling it is.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s horrendous.
9
SPEAKER_00
No matter how quickly you pick up other things in life, golf is not one of those things that you pick up that easily.
9
SPEAKER_01
Mate, you can sign the biggest deal of your life and go out to play golf to celebrate, and it will ruin your day.
9
SPEAKER_00
like absolutely ruined.
9
SPEAKER_00
Don t go out to play golf to celebrate.
9
SPEAKER_00
No, never go out to celebrate.
9
SPEAKER_00
No, crazy.
9
SPEAKER_00
Do you play, do you still play any sport?
9
SPEAKER_00
I love playing football when I m back here.
9
SPEAKER_00
So that s one of the things, my mates know that when I m back in London, we re going to play a game of football.
9
SPEAKER_00
Where do you play?
9
SPEAKER_00
Well, we ll just, we, we will just play on like a seven a side pitch or a five a side pitch, like close to Northwest London, which is where most of my mates are.
9
SPEAKER_00
So like Stanmore, Edgware, Watford, that s like where all my main mates are.
9
SPEAKER_00
And so we ll just go rent a pitch, kick a ball about.
9
SPEAKER_00
I m not any good anymore, but I still got the full kit and the socks.
9
SPEAKER_00
You know all that kind of stuff.
9
SPEAKER_00
I always look dressed in fresh, bro.
9
SPEAKER_01
I ve actually got Neymar s kit like from him.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, wow.
9
SPEAKER_01
So you best believe I ll show up to five a side in his full kit.
9
SPEAKER_01
I love it.
9
SPEAKER_01
I love it.
9
SPEAKER_00
Is it signed by him too?
9
SPEAKER_00
Nah, it s not signed by him.
9
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s just his kit.
9
SPEAKER_01
We went on a lads holiday to Portugal recently to play golf.
9
SPEAKER_01
And at the resort we were staying at, the people were so nice.
9
SPEAKER_01
They said, let s have an England versus Portugal football match.
9
SPEAKER_01
It was like, I think there was eight of us and there was a bunch of Brits that were working at the resort.
9
SPEAKER_01
So they kind of joined our team and we literally did England versus Portugal.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s a full size pitch.
9
SPEAKER_01
We did 60 minutes, 30 minutes each way.
9
SPEAKER_01
I m fit.
9
SPEAKER_01
I train every day.
9
SPEAKER_01
I absolutely love my fitness.
9
SPEAKER_01
I really, really like I m into it.
9
SPEAKER_01
By the end, I could not make five paces without my legs cramping up.
9
SPEAKER_01
They are so fit.
9
SPEAKER_01
These football players.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s unbelievable.
9
SPEAKER_01
And we won.
9
SPEAKER_01
And it s so funny how the first 10 minutes of the game was really friendly, like soft fouls.
9
SPEAKER_01
Sorry, mate, like your free kick.
9
SPEAKER_01
And by the end it was savage.
9
SPEAKER_01
It was really intense.
9
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
9
SPEAKER_01
At least you won though.
9
SPEAKER_01
We won.
9
SPEAKER_01
I got an assist.
9
SPEAKER_00
It was actually a glorious assist as well, actually.
9
SPEAKER_01
I just pinged the ball over the top.
9
SPEAKER_01
My brother made a run and it bounced and he managed to get his foot to it and he chipped the keeper and scored.
9
SPEAKER_00
It was... But there s no footage.
9
SPEAKER_00
There s no footage.
9
SPEAKER_00
No proof.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, no proof.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, no proof.
9
SPEAKER_01
I sometimes think when the whole no proof thing, like we had the craziest experience of my life the other day.
9
SPEAKER_01
I ll tell you about it.
9
SPEAKER_01
Because our lives are so crazy, like there s no, why would I lie?
9
SPEAKER_01
But the other day we went swimming with killer whales in Mexico.
9
SPEAKER_01
I said the other day, it was last year.
9
SPEAKER_01
And it was one of the most humbling experiences of my life.
9
SPEAKER_01
There s no proof of it.
9
SPEAKER_01
There s no evidence because it was so off the cuff.
9
SPEAKER_01
We weren t planning on doing it.
9
SPEAKER_01
So most people I tell are like, you definitely didn t do that.
9
SPEAKER_01
But we were in Mexico and we were on a boat and we just so happened to see this pod of orca.
9
SPEAKER_01
Jack, my security guard, thought it d be a good idea to jump in.
9
SPEAKER_01
He jumped straight in, flippers on, goggles on, and we were driving to keep up with the whales because they were kind of following our boat.
9
SPEAKER_01
So by the time Jack had jumped in, he was like this.
9
SPEAKER_01
He was like 100 meters away and you could see him and the whales were like swimming around him.
9
SPEAKER_01
So I m starting to freak out because he s a good friend of mine.
9
SPEAKER_01
And he s your security guy.
9
SPEAKER_00
And he s my security.
9
SPEAKER_00
I m like, we got to get back to the hotel, bro.
9
SPEAKER_01
So I said to the guy like, excuse me, sir, can you turn around and go and get my friend?
9
SPEAKER_01
Because we now can t see him anymore.
9
SPEAKER_01
Like he s gone.
9
SPEAKER_01
We found him.
9
SPEAKER_01
We got him back in the boat.
9
SPEAKER_01
And he sort of said like, lads, you have to get in there.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s unlike anything you ve ever seen before.
9
SPEAKER_01
My brother Harry s like Googling whether or not it s safe to swim with them.
9
SPEAKER_01
And it s sort of the general consensus online is don t go swimming with killer whales.
9
SPEAKER_01
You can.
9
SPEAKER_01
There s never been a recorded attack in the wild.
9
SPEAKER_01
but they are wild animals.
9
SPEAKER_00
They re as big as a bus.
9
SPEAKER_01
And also Jack s giving it like, don t worry, Tom, I ll be there.
9
SPEAKER_01
I ll look after you.
9
SPEAKER_01
I m like, Jack, what are you going to do, bro?
9
SPEAKER_01
Like what s this whale the size to eat me?
9
SPEAKER_01
So anyway, we put the flippers on, put the goggles on.
9
SPEAKER_01
We find the whales.
9
SPEAKER_01
They re sort of interacting with the back of the boat.
9
SPEAKER_01
They re clearly curious.
9
SPEAKER_01
And I just thought like, I guess it goes back to what you re saying, the mode of ignorance.
9
SPEAKER_01
I just was like, I m going to try it and see what happens.
9
SPEAKER_01
I jumped in.
9
SPEAKER_01
My brother jumped in, Jack jumped in, we kind of came together.
9
SPEAKER_01
We re 30 miles out of the coast, so it s literally like dark blue water, nothing below us.
9
SPEAKER_01
And to my relief, the whales had gone.
9
SPEAKER_01
We couldn t see them.
9
SPEAKER_01
So I m sort of thinking, oh, well, that s actually a bit of a touch.
9
SPEAKER_01
At least I can say I jumped in and they have gone.
9
SPEAKER_01
But then Jack said, look down and we looked down and it came from beneath us.
9
SPEAKER_01
And what has been such an interesting experience for me was as soon as I saw the whale, I wasn t scared anymore because I could just tell
9
SPEAKER_01
that it wasn t going to eat me.
9
SPEAKER_01
I don t know how to explain it, but you could just see from its body language.
9
SPEAKER_01
I remember it so vividly.
9
SPEAKER_01
It swam up to us.
9
SPEAKER_01
It was maybe 10 meters below us, and it was kind of motionlessly sort of just looking at us.
10
SPEAKER_02
And then it kind of rolled on its back.
10
SPEAKER_02
It did this weird thing where it kind of put its head like this, and you could see its eye.
10
SPEAKER_02
We were having this crazy moment, and then it just swam off, and it was gone.
10
SPEAKER_02
And then for three hours afterwards, I couldn t speak.
10
SPEAKER_02
I had the biggest adrenaline dump.
10
SPEAKER_02
I just basically was asleep, but it was such an amazing experience to sort of meet the apex predator of the world.
10
SPEAKER_02
And it kind of look at you and just swim away.
10
SPEAKER_02
Most people don t believe me because there s no evidence, but it was,
10
SPEAKER_02
I think about it now.
10
SPEAKER_02
And then it s not so funny as well.
10
SPEAKER_02
I see these, I like our planet.
10
SPEAKER_02
There s, there s more footage of orcas hunting and another way in which they hunt.
10
SPEAKER_02
There is no way I would do that again.
10
SPEAKER_02
There s no way I d get in there again.
10
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, it was amazing.
10
SPEAKER_00
A new season of Bridgerton is here.
10
SPEAKER_00
And with it, a new season of Bridgerton, the official podcast.
10
SPEAKER_00
I m your host, Gabrielle Collins.
10
SPEAKER_00
And this season, we are bringing fans even deeper into the ton.
10
SPEAKER_00
Colin Bridgerton has returned from his travels abroad.
10
SPEAKER_00
Is Betrothal written in the stars for the eligible bachelor?
10
SPEAKER_00
Meanwhile, the ton is reverberating with speculation of who holds Lady Whistledown s pen.
10
SPEAKER_00
We re discussing it all.
10
SPEAKER_00
I sit down with Nicola Coughlin, Luke Newton, Shonda Rhimes, and more to offer an exclusive peek behind the scenes of each episode of the new season.
10
SPEAKER_00
Watch season three of the Shondaland series on Netflix.
10
SPEAKER_00
Then, fall in love all over again by listening to Bridgerton, the official podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
10
SPEAKER_00
Subscribe to catch a new episode every Thursday.
10
SPEAKER_01
Hearing you explain it is like, you re so present.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
That you can tell that you just, you were so present in that moment that you stopped thinking about like, oh, well, you know, if I tell this after that no one s gonna believe me or whatever it is, you re just like, wait a minute.
10
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_02
You know, nature makes you present like that.
10
SPEAKER_02
And that s what I love about nature is it s completely unbiased as well.
10
SPEAKER_02
Like if that whale wanted to have a snack,
10
SPEAKER_02
then, you know, it s not looking at you going, Oh no, but that s a famous person.
10
SPEAKER_02
I ve got to leave him alone.
10
SPEAKER_02
Or it just, you are at one with mother nature.
10
SPEAKER_02
We are in the middle of the ocean.
10
SPEAKER_02
There s nothing we could do.
10
SPEAKER_02
And we just were able to enjoy somewhat maybe like being in the cave, like you were saying.
10
SPEAKER_02
It was just about us and this whale.
10
SPEAKER_02
My brother and I were holding hands, but then as soon as it presented itself to us, any stress just dissipated.
10
SPEAKER_02
And it was just this unbelievable experience.
10
SPEAKER_02
And it was so leveling.
10
SPEAKER_02
It was so humbling that it makes me feel like I can take on certain things.
10
SPEAKER_02
So it was, honestly, even thinking about the experience now, my heart is racing.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I can imagine.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it was wild.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it was a cool experience.
10
SPEAKER_01
That s unbelievable.
10
SPEAKER_01
That s an incredible experience.
10
SPEAKER_01
And it is different from the cave though, because I do think it s different when you re with another living being.
10
SPEAKER_01
Sure.
10
SPEAKER_01
And so that s what I found, like my closest experience to what you re talking about is, I went trekking with, well, looking for mountain gorilla in Rwanda last year.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that s top of my list.
10
SPEAKER_01
I would love to do that.
10
SPEAKER_01
We should do it.
10
SPEAKER_01
I would do that again any day because it was unbelievable.
10
SPEAKER_01
So you re not, again, these gorillas are not like in a park or something.
10
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no.
10
SPEAKER_01
They re mountain gorilla.
10
SPEAKER_01
They re in their world.
10
SPEAKER_01
And you go and look for them and there s no tagging devices or any tech.
10
SPEAKER_01
There s people who ve watched the gorilla for so many years that they know where their droppings are.
10
SPEAKER_01
They know where families hang out.
10
SPEAKER_01
They know what their routines are.
10
SPEAKER_01
So depending on what time you re going out, there s someone who s just around them who s calling their friend, calling your guide saying, walk this
10
SPEAKER_01
This is where you got to go.
10
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
10
SPEAKER_01
Just to make it very, very clear that, you know, the gorilla is being treated very well.
10
SPEAKER_01
So you re literally looking around and you could be on the lookout for them for like two to six hours.
10
SPEAKER_01
You may not find them.
10
SPEAKER_01
You re just hiking.
10
SPEAKER_01
See, I love that.
10
SPEAKER_01
You might
10
SPEAKER_01
You might not find them.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you might not find them.
10
SPEAKER_01
So we found them in two hours.
10
SPEAKER_01
One group that we heard about, because you go in smaller groups of like 10, the other group that we are friends with, they took eight hours to find gorillas, but they saw them too.
10
SPEAKER_01
And when I went, I was kind of like, oh, we re going to see one gorilla or whatever.
10
SPEAKER_01
Like they re going to be far away.
10
SPEAKER_01
Like I was a bit skeptical because I didn t know how it was going to be.
10
SPEAKER_01
And it was incredible because we looked around for two hours and I ll show you the video afterwards.
10
SPEAKER_01
we got and we just saw them like hanging out, kind of like how I m looking at everyone here, just hanging out still.
10
SPEAKER_01
And then all of a sudden they all started walking together and there was a family of 20 gorillas.
10
SPEAKER_01
And you ve got two silverbacks that are like, you know, they re like, their fists are like, you know, just huge.
10
SPEAKER_01
You slap you and you re gone.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, exactly.
10
SPEAKER_01
And it was really interesting because the guides who were there with us,
10
SPEAKER_01
they said to us that when you go close to them, kind of like, and this is why I remembered it and why I m telling you, it s because when you were talking about the way the whale looked at you, and it was kind of like, you knew it wasn t going to eat you.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
And so they were saying that when you get close to these gorillas, the only thing you can t do is you can t touch their kids and you can t touch them.
10
SPEAKER_01
And so you can t drop something near their kids and then try to get it back because they ll think you re trying to harm their kids.
10
SPEAKER_01
Totally.
10
SPEAKER_01
But what they recommended was, they said you had to make this sound when you see them, and this sound means we come in peace.
10
SPEAKER_01
And so the sound was,
10
SPEAKER_01
So that s, you have to make that sound.
10
SPEAKER_01
I was like, all right, this is some Disneyland stuff.
10
SPEAKER_01
I m not believing this stuff, like whatever.
10
SPEAKER_01
I was like, all right, I m going to play around with it.
10
SPEAKER_01
And so I m walking around.
10
SPEAKER_01
So we go to the gorilla and we get close to them.
10
SPEAKER_01
And I made that sound because we were told they were like, make that sound.
10
SPEAKER_01
And then the gorilla did it back.
10
SPEAKER_01
And it was just unbelievable.
10
SPEAKER_01
And then there was this one moment where we were walking and we were literally surrounded by guerrilla.
10
SPEAKER_01
And that s when I was a bit scared because they were all around us.
10
SPEAKER_01
And literally, if they ran at you, I m done.
10
SPEAKER_01
Nothing you can do.
10
SPEAKER_01
And so we re walking, they re walking around us.
10
SPEAKER_01
And this massive silverback came up, so my business manager was with me as well.
10
SPEAKER_01
And so he s there, he s like my godfather in LA, like he really takes care of me, so very close to him.
10
SPEAKER_01
And so this big gorilla that walks behind him, and I m looking at him going, oh man, like he stopped.
10
SPEAKER_01
And we re all looking at him because he s got this massive silverback behind him.
10
SPEAKER_01
And we re all like, how do we tell him to move?
10
SPEAKER_01
And the guy s like, just be still, like just, you know, be really present.
10
SPEAKER_01
Like you can t freak out.
10
SPEAKER_01
And the gorilla just went.
10
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
10
SPEAKER_00
That s amazing.
10
SPEAKER_01
And he moved out the way and just walked past.
10
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
10
SPEAKER_01
And it was just, it was that same presence that you re feeling that I felt with them.
10
SPEAKER_01
And that s what I mean, the living, being with another living being is, is spectacular.
10
SPEAKER_01
So.
10
SPEAKER_02
Do you think that level of ease comes from the helpless nature of being in the presence of an animal that could do to you whatever they want to?
10
SPEAKER_02
I think part of the reason why I felt so calm when the whale had come up was because there was nothing we could do
10
SPEAKER_02
should it go sideways?
10
SPEAKER_02
And I think being almost finding that kind of inner peace of like, I ve made my mind.
10
SPEAKER_02
This is the choices I ve made.
10
SPEAKER_02
I m here now.
10
SPEAKER_02
There s nothing I can do.
10
SPEAKER_02
It s almost like you should make peace with your choices, I guess.
10
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
10
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no.
10
SPEAKER_01
I think that s, I think you ve actually taken it somewhere really beautiful, mate.
10
SPEAKER_01
I think for me as well, it s humility.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s what.
10
SPEAKER_01
And like, when you, when you meet someone new, rarely are we humble.
10
SPEAKER_01
Sure.
10
SPEAKER_01
We often feel the pressure to be like, well, look at who I am or like, you know, or we re trying to create, even if it s not out of ego, there s a certain sense of like wanting to gain people s like and respect.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
And you want to impress people.
10
SPEAKER_01
No matter what I do, this whale or gorilla is not going to like or respect me.
10
SPEAKER_01
So I better just be humble about it and at peace, as you said.
10
SPEAKER_01
And it levels you.
10
SPEAKER_01
And it levels you and it allows that human being, that being also, of course, it s not, you know, of course, we re not recommending that you just go into these places.
10
SPEAKER_01
I wouldn t.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
But the idea being that I do think there s something magical about nature where
10
SPEAKER_01
humility is kind of nature s way.
10
SPEAKER_01
And it is that what you re saying, that when you re at peace with your choices and you re at peace with here we are, here I am, I can t do anything.
10
SPEAKER_01
And guess what?
10
SPEAKER_01
It s okay.
10
SPEAKER_01
Right.
10
SPEAKER_01
That s what I m saying.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_02
It s somewhat sort of like, I ve made a decision.
10
SPEAKER_02
If the decision is a mistake, you ve got to live with it because you made it.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
I want to talk about sports because I was thinking, so I play a lot of tennis, play a lot of football, play a lot of pickleball now.
10
SPEAKER_01
You play a lot of pickleball.
10
SPEAKER_01
Because that s become a thing.
10
SPEAKER_01
But I m massively more into paddle.
10
SPEAKER_01
Mate, I love paddle tennis.
10
SPEAKER_01
I love paddle.
10
SPEAKER_01
Paddle tennis is so fun.
10
SPEAKER_01
So I want that to blow up in the US, but it s not going to.
10
SPEAKER_01
So when I went to Dubai and I went to Miami and I went to Madrid, because they re big in Spain.
10
SPEAKER_01
Mate.
10
SPEAKER_01
Are they playing it here?
10
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, my local tennis club has got two courts.
10
SPEAKER_02
You can t book them.
10
SPEAKER_02
They re so sold out.
10
SPEAKER_02
Honestly, paddle tennis.
10
SPEAKER_02
I love tennis.
10
SPEAKER_02
I think tennis is one of the best sports in the world.
10
SPEAKER_02
And I think that, you know, they are the highest performing athletes, some of, in the world.
10
SPEAKER_02
it s really hard tennis.
10
SPEAKER_02
Like I find unless I m playing with someone who s much better than me, I don t play well.
10
SPEAKER_02
Like I really, I need to be chasing someone.
10
SPEAKER_02
Paddle tennis is so social.
10
SPEAKER_02
It s easy to have great rallies.
10
SPEAKER_02
You still get the satisfaction of really smacking a ball because pickle is,
10
SPEAKER_02
It s all about placement and trying to kind of one-up your opponent.
10
SPEAKER_01
You re playing at the kitchen and just doing the dink.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, exactly.
10
SPEAKER_01
Why is it called a kitchen?
10
SPEAKER_01
I have no idea.
10
SPEAKER_01
So I play pickle like paddle.
10
SPEAKER_01
Right.
10
SPEAKER_01
Because I m like, no.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s nonsense.
10
SPEAKER_01
Why?
10
SPEAKER_01
I do like pickle.
11
SPEAKER_01
But paddle tennis, mate.
11
SPEAKER_00
Paddle s amazing.
11
SPEAKER_00
Paddle s one of my favorite, favorite.
11
SPEAKER_00
I was in Dubai with a client for work for months, a couple of years back.
11
SPEAKER_00
I played it every day for three months.
11
SPEAKER_00
That s great exercise.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s the best workout, the most fun, like time just flew, it s amazing.
11
SPEAKER_00
But I was bringing it back to sports because I was saying, you know, you personally tried to recruit Mbappe for Tottenham.
11
SPEAKER_00
I did, yeah.
11
SPEAKER_00
And I just thought that was amazing because I was like, I ve never seen this ever happen before where, you know, someone s using their clout in the right way.
11
SPEAKER_00
Listen, I saw him.
11
SPEAKER_01
I m a mad Tottenham fan.
11
SPEAKER_01
And I just thought, now s my chance.
11
SPEAKER_01
And he said, no, the deal didn t go through.
11
SPEAKER_01
No signing bonus for myself.
11
SPEAKER_01
That was a crazy trip that going to the Ballon d Or.
11
SPEAKER_01
We were there for Spider-Man, Spider-Man was coming out.
11
SPEAKER_01
I m not really sure how that was promo for Spider-Man, but like it was part of our trip for some reason.
11
SPEAKER_01
But it was amazing meeting these players and I admire them so much.
11
SPEAKER_00
It s incredible when you can notice other athletes and other greatness.
11
SPEAKER_00
And I see that at the top.
11
SPEAKER_00
We ve talked a lot today about, and you re really good at this.
11
SPEAKER_00
Like you really, I feel like, I feel like you re quite tuned into like,
11
SPEAKER_00
admiring and observing greatness and like the 1% and trying to figure out what they re doing differently.
11
SPEAKER_00
And I think that s one of the things I ve definitely seen of the 1% is that there s a humility in that they have the ability to appreciate other people s greatness and skills and values and purpose.
11
SPEAKER_00
Like they re not looking at it going, I m the best of all time.
11
SPEAKER_00
There s a part of them, they may have to say that for the cameras or they may have to say that before they go on the pitch, but actually if you talk to them,
11
SPEAKER_00
and you ask them about someone else, they ll be like, yeah, best, best player I ve ever seen.
11
SPEAKER_00
Like they re incredible.
11
SPEAKER_00
And so who did you admire growing up in acting?
11
SPEAKER_00
Who do you admire today?
11
SPEAKER_00
Like who have been the people that, and maybe on a mindset level or maybe on a, or, or a performance level as well.
11
SPEAKER_01
There are definitely performances of people that I look up to.
11
SPEAKER_01
There are, there are the types of careers of certain actors that I really admire.
11
SPEAKER_01
There are also like
11
SPEAKER_01
the types of lives that certain people lead that I really admire and I really aspire to sort of be like.
11
SPEAKER_01
I tend to let all of my admiration go towards athletes.
11
SPEAKER_01
I m just so blown away by what they can do under the pressure that they re under.
11
SPEAKER_01
Me as an actor, I realized that my job is a high pressure job because it
11
SPEAKER_01
reaches millions of people.
11
SPEAKER_01
But that said, there are so many people that help me get to where I need to be.
11
SPEAKER_01
I get picked up, someone makes me breakfast, someone writes the words that I m supposed to say, someone chooses my costume, someone does my hair and makeup, someone sets the camera up.
11
SPEAKER_01
Ultimately, I walk onto set and I do my bit, but I m a small part in a massive machine.
11
SPEAKER_01
But when you look at someone like Djokovic or Federer or, you know, this new Alcaraz,
11
SPEAKER_01
you know, or the golfers or Lewis.
11
SPEAKER_01
Lewis is slightly different because Formula One is so much about the team and the car and all that sort of stuff.
11
SPEAKER_01
they have to do it themselves at a certain point.
11
SPEAKER_01
There s only so much help they can get.
11
SPEAKER_01
But then when they walk onto that court for the first time, when they walk into the ring or into the octagon, it s them by themselves.
11
SPEAKER_01
They re under that amount of pressure.
11
SPEAKER_01
It s up to them whether they deliver or not.
11
SPEAKER_01
And I just have always been admiring of seeing some of the greats lose their win streak and come back even stronger.
11
SPEAKER_01
I ve always really been an admirer of people that are able to do that.
11
SPEAKER_01
I think it s a folly when you see these win streaks of 50 and 0 and all that sort of stuff.
11
SPEAKER_01
And you re like, well,
11
SPEAKER_01
That to me isn t what a champion is.
11
SPEAKER_01
A champion is someone who had it all, lost it all, and got it right back again.
11
SPEAKER_01
Tyson Fury s story is a crazy one.
11
SPEAKER_01
I d love to see AJ come back and be on top again, because I d love to be alive to witness that legacy that he would leave behind, you know.
11
SPEAKER_01
I feel sorry for him, what happened to him when he sort of
11
SPEAKER_01
seemed to really lose it a little bit in the ring when he took the microphone.
11
SPEAKER_01
And I d love to see him back on top and to have some clarity and to be a champion again, because I admire him as an athlete.
11
SPEAKER_01
So I save most of my admiration for athletes and musicians.
11
SPEAKER_01
I love musicians.
11
SPEAKER_01
I see someone like Ed Sheeran, 80,000 people in the palm of his hand.
11
SPEAKER_01
I think comedians are equally as talented.
11
SPEAKER_01
The ability that they can just go on stage and make people laugh, that is terrifying.
11
SPEAKER_01
actors for me, because it s what I do, it s like, meh.
11
SPEAKER_00
You know?
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
11
SPEAKER_00
I get what you re saying.
11
SPEAKER_00
I get what you re saying.
11
SPEAKER_00
And at the end of the day, it s just, it s taking what you can from what you aspire for, right?
11
SPEAKER_00
Like you can take something from all these people.
11
SPEAKER_00
And what I love about it, some of these people you know, some of these people you don t, but I always say to people who are listening and watching that you can be mentored by people you ve never met.
11
SPEAKER_00
And I think that s a really important skill to gain, because I think we live in a world right now where somewhat access has become easier.
11
SPEAKER_00
And we always think we need access to people directly in order to learn from them.
11
SPEAKER_00
But you don t know everyone you ve just mentioned, even though you may know a couple of them closely.
11
SPEAKER_00
And same with me, like I was really fortunate, you know, growing up as a teenager, I got introduced to like Martin Luther King s work and Malcolm X s work.
11
SPEAKER_00
I was reading crazy stuff at that age, but it had a massive impact on my mindset.
11
SPEAKER_00
I never met all those people and obviously would never have got the opportunity to do that, but I feel mentored by them without ever having sat in the same room as them.
11
SPEAKER_00
Because you study like how they made decisions and you study what they said.
11
SPEAKER_00
and what they wrote, and what they stood for, and how, and the parts that you don t hear through history.
11
SPEAKER_00
The parts that were actually more difficult, and the parts where they weren t the perfect hero.
11
SPEAKER_00
And so all of that kind of stuff.
11
SPEAKER_00
But Tom, before we go to the final five, you ve been so gracious with your time today.
11
SPEAKER_00
I have to ask you if you want to clarify the Harry Kane situation, because I ll tell you what, the reason why I say this is I had the dream.
11
SPEAKER_00
So I m a Manchester United supporter.
11
SPEAKER_00
Everyone in my community knows that very well.
11
SPEAKER_00
I have always had the dream that Harry Kane, when Wayne Rooney retired, Harry Kane was going to come to Manchester United.
11
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_00
And he was going to follow in the footsteps of all the great England forwards that have played at Manchester United.
11
SPEAKER_00
That didn t happen.
11
SPEAKER_00
No, it didn t happen.
11
SPEAKER_00
I m still holding on to that dream.
11
SPEAKER_00
But you want him to go somewhere else.
11
SPEAKER_01
Well, listen, listen, let me just clarify, right?
11
SPEAKER_01
I love Harry Kane.
11
SPEAKER_01
I love Heung-Min Son.
11
SPEAKER_01
Heung-Min Son is my favorite football player.
11
SPEAKER_01
He is a hero.
11
SPEAKER_01
I love Tottenham.
11
SPEAKER_01
I m a big Tottenham fan, but I just, I know that those players could thrive and have the best careers ever somewhere else.
11
SPEAKER_01
I just want to see, I want to see Harry lifting a trophy and I want to see Son there by him and, and, and I just don t think so.
11
SPEAKER_00
You re rooting for the individual.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I ll always be a Tottenham fan.
11
SPEAKER_01
You know, I love being a Spurs fan.
11
SPEAKER_01
My brother Harry and I, you know, we ve really pondered over it.
11
SPEAKER_01
But I just, you know, Harry Kane s one of the best strikers in the world and he would fit into almost any team and I d love to see him on top.
11
SPEAKER_01
And interesting question.
11
SPEAKER_01
Do you think he would have had a similar season to Haaland had he gone to City?
11
SPEAKER_00
Ooh, that s a... I personally think
11
SPEAKER_00
Cause I think Harland s amazing.
11
SPEAKER_00
I think Harland with his age, his strength and his mentality.
11
SPEAKER_00
You know what s crazy about Harland is I saw this interview and you know, obviously it hurts me to say it, but city and all.
11
SPEAKER_00
But when Harland did this interview, he just scored like, I can t remember which game it was.
11
SPEAKER_00
He scored like five goals that game.
11
SPEAKER_00
And he was like, I should have had seven.
11
SPEAKER_00
And the interviewer was like, come on though, take some credit.
11
SPEAKER_00
Like you scored five goals.
11
SPEAKER_00
And he was like, yeah, I m happy with that.
11
SPEAKER_00
But he goes, you know, there were a couple of assists that should have gone in.
11
SPEAKER_00
And I thought that mentality.
11
SPEAKER_00
That s a winner s mindset.
11
SPEAKER_00
That s a winner s mindset.
11
SPEAKER_00
I was like, he was, he knew exactly which opportunities he missed.
11
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, so I think it s an age thing.
11
SPEAKER_00
I think it s a strength thing.
11
SPEAKER_00
I feel like Harlan s kind of like, I ve always compared Harlan to like Ivan Drago.
11
SPEAKER_00
Like he was made in the lab.
11
SPEAKER_00
Right, right, right.
11
SPEAKER_00
Like he was made
11
SPEAKER_00
Like he was manufactured to be this incredible talent.
11
SPEAKER_00
And I think City s good with like, he admits, like he scores a lot of tap-ins and I think that s his game.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but man, there s no pictures on a scorecard, you know?
11
SPEAKER_00
No, in a good way.
11
SPEAKER_00
I m saying like he s been built in that way and City play that way.
11
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if Kane s a tap-in guy.
11
SPEAKER_00
Like his goals have generally been a bit more diverse in that sense.
11
SPEAKER_00
Magic.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
Magic is the way I would describe Kane.
11
SPEAKER_01
No, I love him.
11
SPEAKER_01
And obviously it s a typical thing of like, the press are out saying, oh, Tom Holland s begging Kane to leave.
11
SPEAKER_01
I m not begging him to leave.
11
SPEAKER_01
I love that he s at our club because I d be terrified to see where we d be without him.
11
SPEAKER_01
But I just love to see him have the career I know he could have.
11
SPEAKER_00
What do you think of Jude Bellingham to Madrid?
11
SPEAKER_00
I think that s a great move.
11
SPEAKER_00
I love that.
11
SPEAKER_00
I love that.
11
SPEAKER_01
And what s interesting is that all of my friends in Spain are from Barcelona.
11
SPEAKER_01
I have one friend from Madrid.
11
SPEAKER_01
I ve always been a big Barca supporter because I used to go to Barcelona all the time as a kid.
11
SPEAKER_01
I had a few weekends where I d say to my mum and dad, I m going to my friend s house and I would go to Barcelona.
11
SPEAKER_00
How did you pull that off, mate?
11
SPEAKER_01
Just sneaky, bro.
11
SPEAKER_01
If I told my Indian parents that, I was like, they d know the dial tone straight away.
11
SPEAKER_01
Mate, I got caught.
11
SPEAKER_01
My mum called me up and was like, where are you?
11
SPEAKER_01
I was trying to tell her I was at my friend s house.
11
SPEAKER_01
She said, no, you re not, because I m here.
11
SPEAKER_01
And I was in Laramblas in Barcelona.
11
SPEAKER_01
But I just love players.
11
SPEAKER_01
I think Jude Benham s amazing.
11
SPEAKER_01
You know, I just love to see what he could do there.
11
SPEAKER_01
I think it s the thing for me is I love legacy.
11
SPEAKER_01
I love seeing what players can do.
11
SPEAKER_01
I m less about the teams.
11
SPEAKER_01
So I love about tennis or golf, you know, it s not about the team.
11
SPEAKER_01
It s about the player.
11
SPEAKER_01
So I would just love to see what he could do there.
11
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, I m sure one day we ll see England raise a trophy and we ve got such a great young team.
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and I admire them all, but yeah, I think it s a great move for him.
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He s only 19 or something like that.
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It s insane, yeah, he s 19.
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I mean, that s wild.
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It s incredible.
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He s a year older than my brother, Paddy.
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That s mental.
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Mate, you ve been amazing today, honestly.
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This has been some of the most fun I ve had in a long time.
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Yeah, me too, thank you, I appreciate it.
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We ask everyone the final five, and so these are the fast five questions, which means answers have to be one word to one sentence maximum, no more than that.
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Done.
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And you don t have to write or spell them out.
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So no, no, no problem.
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That d be a long, long segment.
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None of that.
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All right.
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So Tom Holland, these are your final five.
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Question one, what is the best advice you ve ever received?
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To turn your nerves into excitement.
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I like that.
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That, we ve never had that on the show.
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I love that.
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All right.
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Second question.
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What is the worst advice you ve ever received?
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Move to LA, get a marijuana license and buy a hot tub.
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Who told you that?
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Mark Wahlberg.
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That s brilliant.
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No, he told me that on a chat show.
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So I don t know if that was legit advice, but I didn t take his advice.
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Okay, good.
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Who would you have been if you took that advice?
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Who knows?
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All right.
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Question number three.
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What s the first thing you do every morning and the last thing you do every night?
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Make my bed.
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It s the first thing I do.
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And the last thing I do before I go to bed, admittedly, is I check my emails, which I shouldn t do.
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But that is what I do.
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Yeah, it s bad.
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Yeah.
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We asked that just to make you aware of what you need to change.
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I do need to change that.
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Making my bed is a good start.
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I used to never do that.
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And now like my first thing I do is I make my bed.
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That s like my first challenge of the day.
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It s a good, it s an easy one to get done.
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SPEAKER_03
Question four.
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What s something you re trying to learn at the moment?
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I m currently taking golf lessons.
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And we see a trend.
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It s not going very well.
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Where are you at at the moment?
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The thing is with golf is that the golf swing is a very, very particular thing.
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So in order to get better, you do have to take quite a few steps backwards.
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I ve taken maybe 25 sets backwards, but I will, I will benefit from it eventually.
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Are you doing it every day?
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Every day.
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Not lessons every day, but I practice every day.
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I ve always said that to my wife.
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I was like, I want to go away for a month and I want to get a trainer.
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I m going to play golf every single day.
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I mean, that s the only way I d, yeah, that s the only way.
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I had a really, so one of my clients took me to PXG in Arizona, which is like this beautiful place, Bob Parsons place.
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And I had a coach there for two days and I was like half decent after two days because the coach was so good.
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And when I got back to LA, I tried to get a coach and I couldn t find a good one.
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And then I had a coach that literally, he came highly recommended, but it didn t work out for me.
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He, he didn t let me take like 0.7 of a swing before he gave me feedback.
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And I was like, I just need to hit a few.
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Like I need to kind of just, and it was like, every time I was about to hit the ball, he d be like, nope.
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I was like, I just need to kind of like,
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get a feel for it.
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And so the guy I go to is a guy called James Heath, and he does most of his teachings off of feel.
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So it s not about numbers.
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It s not about results.
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It s more about how do you feel?
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He calls it the feels.
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So like I m working on twisting my hips more in my backswing.
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And he will say to me, how does that make you feel?
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Like physically, where do you feel the stretch?
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Where do you feel the pain?
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Where do you feel the pinch?
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That s what I need you to feel.
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And I, coming from a dancer s background, that s a really great way for me to learn because everything in dancing is about feel.
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So if you need a great teacher in London, James Heath is your guy.
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Thank you.
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Shout out James Heath.
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Yeah, shout out James Heath.
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Fifth and final question.
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If you could create one law that everyone else in the world had to follow, what would it be?
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SPEAKER_03
I don t know.
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SPEAKER_03
I don t know what one law would solve the most amount of problems.
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SPEAKER_03
What would you say?
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SPEAKER_03
Curious.
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SPEAKER_02
I d probably go to something you said earlier, if I m giving a genuine answer, like a real answer, is I really wish there was a life school.
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That would be it because I m not saying that would solve all the problems in the world, but it would set people up.
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And when I say life school, I mean,
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emotional mastery, I mean, ego mastery, I mean, the ability to be kind and empathetic and vulnerable and compassionate and create safe spaces.
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I think a life school that taught you how to be nonjudgmental and noncritical of others without understanding them.
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I think that s what I mean by life school.
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So not just the like paying taxes and bills and stuff, but the life school of like, well, what if, what if we didn t have to live in a world where we just said everything we wanted to and did everything we wanted to and got away with it and you know.
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But I think life, the life lesson for me should be basic health and CPR and basic first aid training.
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It should be like you said, creating an environment at school where young people feel more comfortable talking about themselves, what they re going through, you know, things that might be happening at home or things that are happening at school.
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SPEAKER_03
Like, I think that that would be an amazing way for us
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to be more expressive and more comfortable expressing.
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And again, like I know I keep going back to it, but it s about what my show is about, which is you should feel empowered when asking for help.
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It should be something that you re proud of.
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Like you re recognizing that you have an issue.
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It might be an internal issue.
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It might be an external issue, but you are seeking help, which I think is very admirable.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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I do encourage and recommend everyone go watch The Crowded Room.
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SPEAKER_02
Thank you.
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I personally have been loving it with my wife, honestly.
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I barely watch TV shows, if I m completely honest, and it s because I like something that makes me think and reflect and, you know, and entertain me at the same time.
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SPEAKER_02
Sure, great.
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And I think it does a brilliant job of doing all three.
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SPEAKER_02
It s gripping, I m trying to figure out what s going on next.
12
SPEAKER_02
Nice.
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At the same time, I m like, it s amazing watching you
12
SPEAKER_02
being able to be this very different character to what we know you as.
12
SPEAKER_02
And that s really impressive.
12
SPEAKER_02
So even on a performance level, I m like, I m forgetting that you are Spider-Man.
12
SPEAKER_02
Right?
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SPEAKER_02
Like, and that s how I watch movies where I m like, can I forget who this person is?
12
SPEAKER_02
And, or are they playing a caricature of themselves, obviously.
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SPEAKER_02
And with you, I m like, I don t even think to think it s you.
12
SPEAKER_03
Right, right, right.
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SPEAKER_02
Right now I m talking to you and I ve been watching the show.
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SPEAKER_02
I m like, oh, it s not in the same person.
12
SPEAKER_02
Sure.
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SPEAKER_02
And that is really, really impressive on a performance standpoint.
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SPEAKER_02
So.
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SPEAKER_02
Well, thank you so much.
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SPEAKER_00
You re the best.
12
SPEAKER_00
I really appreciate it.
12
SPEAKER_00
Thank you, mate.
12
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Thank you.
12
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If you love this episode, you ll love my interview with Kobe Bryant on how to be strategic and obsessive to find your purpose.
12
SPEAKER_01
Our children have become less imaginative about how to problem solve and parents and coaches have become more directive in trying to tell them how to behave versus teaching them how to behave.
12
SPEAKER_00
A new season of Bridgerton is here.
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And with it, a new season of Bridgerton, the official podcast.
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I m your host, Gabby Collins.
12
SPEAKER_00
And this season, we are bringing fans even deeper into the ton.
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SPEAKER_00
Watch season three of the Shondaland series on Netflix.
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SPEAKER_00
Then fall in love all over again by listening to Bridgerton, the official podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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SPEAKER_00
Subscribe to catch a new episode every Thursday.