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Hey everyone, this is Molly and Matt and we re the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.
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It s a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting.
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Like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone and so much more.
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Let s learn about all of it and then some.
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Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on America s number one podcast network, iHeart.
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Open your free iHeart app and search Grown Up Stuff.
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Guess what, Will?
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What s up, Mango?
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I ve been trying to write a promo for our podcast, Part-Time Genius, but even though we ve done over 250 episodes, we don t really talk about murders or cults.
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I mean, we did just cover the Illuminati of cheese, so I feel like that makes us pretty edgy.
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We also solve mysteries like how Chinese is your Chinese food and how do dollar stores make money?
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And then, of course, can you game a dog show?
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So what you re saying is everyone should be listening.
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Listen to Part-Time Genius on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
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This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.
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The joy they brought to the nation.
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You are free completely.
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No one is there to destroy you.
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The danger they endured.
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They said my head should be cut off.
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I m John Legend.
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Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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You know, I think most people think, Jay, everyone else is gonna die.
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I ll get around to being happy.
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I ll get around to my dreams, and then it s another day, and another day, and they keep it in the distance.
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You only understand the power of one day when you re threatened with never having another one.
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The best-selling author and host.
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The number one health and wellness podcast.
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On purpose with Jay Shetty.
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Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world.
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Thanks to each and every one of you that come back every week to become happier, healthier, and more healed.
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And actually I need to start saying every day because I know so many of you listen to episodes every single day.
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So thank you so much for our daily, weekly, monthly, yearly listeners.
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And I m so excited to be talking to you today.
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I can t believe it.
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My new book, Eight Rules of Love, is out, and I cannot wait to share it with you.
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I am so, so excited for you to read this book, for you to listen to this book.
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I read the audiobook.
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If you haven t got it already, make sure you go to eightrulesoflove.com.
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It s dedicated to anyone who s trying to find, keep, or let go of love.
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So if you ve got friends that are dating, broken up, or struggling with love, make sure you grab this book.
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And I d love to invite you to come and see me for my global tour, Love Rules.
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Go to jscheddytour.com to learn more information about tickets, VIP experiences, and more.
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I can t wait to see you this year.
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And today, I am so excited for this because last time he was on the show,
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You guys went nuts, like the response was unbelievable and I had so much phenomenal feedback from this conversation.
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And today I m going to be talking to you about his new book, which I want you to go and grab.
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It s already sold a million copies, so it s tried and tested.
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This book is called The Power of One More, The Ultimate Guide to Happiness and Success by the one and only Ed Milet.
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the host of Max Outt.
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Make sure you go and read that book as well if you haven t already and listen to the podcast.
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And before we dive in, I just want to say about Ed that Ed is one of the strongest, toughest,
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and kindest people I know.
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And I think that balance is just so unique.
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If you saw him, you d be like, this guy s gonna like beat me up.
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But then you get to know his heart and you re just like, wow, I didn t know you could have both.
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And you have both.
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So I m so, you have a strong heart too.
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But I appreciate it.
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I m so excited to talk about this.
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And I ll tell you why.
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Because as I was looking through this, this
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resonates so deeply with someone who s always had to do the power of one more.
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And I don t know many people who know this.
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So when I first started, I had a video series idea that I was pitching to lots of top execs and top companies.
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And they all said no one cares about meditation, mindfulness based content.
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So rejected.
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Then I ended up pitching to editors-in-chief and I started meeting all these people and networking at events, trying to get them to notice me and see what I could do.
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And they all said, you re too old or you re too young.
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You re too overqualified or you re too underqualified.
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There were all of these statements.
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So then I was out there.
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That didn t work.
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I then ended up at an ethnic minority TV training day in the UK, and they were training.
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I walked into this room, it was just six brown and black people, and they were teaching us how to be TV presenters.
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And I went there to just check whether I even had good skills to present because I was starting to doubt myself.
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Turns out you did.
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At the end of it, they were like, Jay, you ve got some really good skills.
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I was like, awesome.
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Give me a job.
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Give me anything.
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I ll start at 15,000 pounds a year.
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I don t care.
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They said, Jay, there s no jobs in media.
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And so I was like, well, what do you want me to do?
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And they were like, start a YouTube channel.
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And I was like, well, that works for Justin Bieber.
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That s for one in a billion people.
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It s not going to work for me.
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And it s really interesting.
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I read a Thomas Edison quote, and this is why this book is just... This book is this quote I m about to share with you, but with every tactic, with every skill, with every tip.
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Quotes are beautiful, books are life-changing, right?
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This quote by Thomas Edison said, when you feel you ve exhausted all options,
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Remember this, you haven t.
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I love that.
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That s the power of one more.
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That s the power of one more.
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And so I have lived this book in my life, like I have lived this mindset, and it has changed my life because I ve always been just one step away, one habit away, one mindset away from this amazing life that I m grateful and blessed to live.
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Well, that s the truth, right?
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You re right.
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And I think the great lie in life is that some scriptures say, well, where there s no vision, the people will perish.
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Whatever your scriptures are.
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Really?
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You have no vision?
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If you ask the average person, you want to be happy or sad, what s your vision?
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They d say, I want to be happy.
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You want to be rich or poor?
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Most people say, I d like to be rich.
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Do you want to contribute or make no difference in the world?
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I want to contribute.
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Do you want beautiful memories or no memories?
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I want memories.
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So there s a vision.
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Our issue is depth perception.
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We think it s further away than it is.
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And because we think it s so far away, Jay, we create patterns and behaviors in our life that perpetually keep it there.
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And that s what we do in our life.
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But what if that s the great lie of life?
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And what if the truth is?
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that you re one relationship away, one meeting away, one conversation, one podcast, one interview, one new thought, one new emotion, one new tactic or strategy away from completely changing the trajectory of your life.
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And everyone that you and I know that we both work with, that we re blessed to work with in our lives, the truth is it was one decision, one meeting, one extra rep, one more phone call, one thing they did that changed their trajectory.
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Then the question then becomes,
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how do I do it?
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And so the strategies are in the book, but conceptually, that s 100% how you change your life.
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Yeah, and you re so right.
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I was thinking about this this morning.
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Last year, I had double hernia surgery on the front leg.
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So I couldn t walk
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for about a month.
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And when I say I couldn t walk, I mean like I literally couldn t move.
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Oh my gosh.
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It was like I was like, I felt like I was teaching myself to walk again.
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Like that s how it felt.
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It s really interesting what you just said about how we perpetually push it far away.
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I would wake up every morning and my mind or my initial mindset was like, it will be gone today.
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It must have gone today.
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Like today it will be fully healed.
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I ll be fine today.
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And I would wake up and I wouldn t be.
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And I would feel like healing was so far away, it would be like 80% away, that I was missing out on the 1% change since yesterday.
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Since yesterday, I made 1% change.
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I wasn t feeling the same pain in my nerves.
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I was able to be flexible by 1% more.
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And I was missing out on all of that because I was so obsessed with how far I was.
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That s the journey.
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And what happens is when you live with an expectation that these one mores exist, the reticular activating system in your mind filters them into your awareness.
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I call it the matrix in the second chapter of the book.
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When you wake up believing, hey, I m one decision away, I m one meeting away, one relationship away, that s not hokey.
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Your mind begins to filter the people, places, and things into your awareness.
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You develop something called sensory acuity.
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You hear conversations you weren t hearing.
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We ve all had that experience where we re on an airplane, I can t stop hearing these people over here.
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Or you walk in a loud room but you can hear your own name auditorily over all the other names in the room.
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That s because it s important to you and it matters.
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You see things.
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And so when something becomes important to you and you believe it to be true, the RAS goes to proving it for you.
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And where I learned this, ironically, I talk about it in the book, is my father was an alcoholic and had tried to get
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sober many, many times.
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And I ll never forget it, Jay.
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We were driving to a baseball game of mine.
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My dad started crying.
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I d never seen my dad cry before.
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And he pulls the car over, and he still isn t looking at me, but he s crying.
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And he says, Eddie.
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And then he turns to me, and he goes, I m going to try to get sober.
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And I ll never forget this, brother.
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He goes, one more time.
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And I said, really daddy?
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He goes, I m going to give it one more try.
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And I said to him, I said, why would this be any different this time?
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And he said, never said this to me before.
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He goes, because I love you and you deserve a father you can be proud of.
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And you can t be proud of me right now.
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And I think every great thing we do in life is one away, but it s also born from love.
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To talk about your book, when you love people or you love something so deeply, if that love is greater than what the obstacles might be, now you got a shot to do it.
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Then my dad gets sober, he comes home from rehab.
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I say, daddy, are you never going to drink again?
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And he said, I can t promise you that.
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I can promise you I m not going to drink for one more day at a time.
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Wow.
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And he lasted the rest of his life stacking those one more days up.
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So I know the power of one more.
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The other thing, I also know humans can change.
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I watched my hero do it.
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I watched my dad live my first 15 years.
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So I m in a lot of fights, a lot of lying, a lot of difficult times.
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And then I saw this man transform.
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And in life, we re most qualified to help the person we used to be.
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And what we think in life, and I hope everybody gets this, we think the things we re most ashamed of, embarrassed by, our divorce, our bankruptcy, or maybe we ve just always been average and ordinary.
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This disqualifies me from being successful and happy.
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What if that s not true?
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What if the hardest things of your life are the very things that qualify you?
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I ll give you an example.
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You know, my dad got sober.
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Somebody helped him.
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My dad was going to take his life or lose his family.
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And I didn t know who it was till months ago.
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Some precious human being, whom I didn t know, in my dad s darkest hour of his life, Jay, said, I ll help you.
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I ll help you. 
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Little did that person know I d be his son, and I d help millions of people, and I d be on Jay Shetty s show, and we both helped millions of people.
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And the more ironic thing that this person helped my dad is what qualified them to help my dad.
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They were a drunk.
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They were an alcoholic.
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They at one time were a drug addict.
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They at one time were lying and stealing and living in the shadows.
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The very thing that person probably figured, that disqualifies me from having a successful life, was the one thing that did qualify them to help my dad.
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So if you re listening to this and you ve had something you re ashamed of or a failure or a setback, you re most qualified to help the people you used to be.
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And that person, that alcoholism they suffered with, their drug addiction, helped my dad
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Live those one more days forever.
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That is the best explanation I ve heard of how pain turns into purpose.
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The thing that brought you down, that broke you down, that made you feel like you were losing everything.
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That s right.
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gave you back everything when you used that to serve the people that were struggling with it.
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And then there s a purpose.
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If you can survive the temporary pain in your life, and all pain is temporary.
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I watched my father pass away last year.
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He was in tremendous pain.
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Even our bodies are temporary.
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Only our souls are permanent.
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If you can survive the temporary on the other side of temporary pain, you meet another version of yourself.
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another insight about yourself.
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And that s why it s so important to grow as a person because the more we grow and become a new person we can help those that used to be like us.
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And that s why you and I are so addicted to growing and learning and we re curious because if you used to be a broken person and you no longer are quite as broken you can help broken people.
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If you used to be broke
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financially and you no longer are.
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You can help people.
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Whatever you do for a living, at one time you didn t know about it and now you do.
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You can help those who need to know about it.
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And so you re immensely qualified if you understand the power of doing one more.
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Oh, I love it.
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I love it.
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Tell me about, so let s say, and you probably come up against this all the time, a lot of the people say, okay, I m going to practice that.
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I m with you, Ed.
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I love you and Jay.
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I m listening.
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And I go, yes, I m going to practice the power of one more.
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Now what I find, and this is why you re so great at teaching this, because you re not teaching it as a gimmick, a glitch, or like a little affirmation.
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This is like real, it makes sense, like it works.
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People get so tied to the result that when they try it the next day and the sales meeting doesn t go their way or the pitch doesn t go their way, they go, ah, it doesn t work.
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It doesn t work.
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Why didn t it work?
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And how should we respond when we fail or get rejected?
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Well, it didn t work because you re so attached to the outcome.
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I coach a lot of athletes.
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I know you do as well.
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And one of the things that s a really nuanced thing in life, it s great to have goals.
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You should have goals.
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I want to do this or that.
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But in the moment of execution, you have to separate from outcome in the moment that you re executing and just be present and exist.
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I talk about this in the book.
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Here s what I would say.
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If you re going to win long term, 95% of people have an operating system in their mind where they operate out of history and memory.
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Oh, I like that.
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And about 5% of humans operate out of vision and imagination.
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So the reason we re so much happier, I believe, when we re children is we have no history and memory.
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So we operate out of imagination and dreams and vision.
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But at some age, some people it s 5 years old, some it s 8, some it s 18, some it s 28.
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They create a history, and that history then becomes the operating system.
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So even if they take on a new behavior or tactic, they re operating out of a pattern of thought and belief that s historic and memory-based.
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And so the number one thing I would say is begin to operate out of your imagination again, out of your vision again.
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Create from that place.
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If you create from that place, now you re not tied to the result in that moment.
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You re giving yourself space to imagine and create something new in your life.
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Hey everyone, this is Molly and Matt and we re the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.
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It s a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting.
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like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.
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We re back with season two of the podcast, which means more opportunities to glow up and become a more responsible and better adult, one life lesson at a time.
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And let me just tell you, this show is just as much for us as it is for you.
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So let s figure this stuff out together.
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This season, we re going to talk about whether or not we re financially and emotionally ready for dog ownership.
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We re gonna figure out the benefits of a high yield savings account.
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And what exactly are the duties of being a member of the wedding party?
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All that plus so much more.
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Let s learn about all of it and then some.
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Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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When the Taliban banned music in Afghanistan, millions were plunged into silence.
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Radios were smashed.
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Cassettes burned.
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You could be beaten or jailed or killed for breaking the rules.
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And yet, Afghans did it anyway.
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This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.
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The danger they endured.
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They said my head should be cut off.
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The joy they brought to the nation.
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You re free completely.
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No one is there to destroy you.
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I m John Legend.
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Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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A new season of Bridgerton is here.
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And with it, a new season of Bridgerton, the official podcast.
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I m your host, Gabrielle Collins.
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And this season, we are bringing fans even deeper into the ton.
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Colin Bridgerton has returned from his travels abroad.
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Is Betrothal written in the stars for the eligible bachelor?
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Meanwhile, the ton is reverberating with speculation of who holds Lady Whistledown s pen.
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We re discussing it all.
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I sit down with Nicola Coughlin, Luke Newton, Shonda Rhimes, and more to offer an exclusive peek behind the scenes of each episode of the new season.
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Watch season three of the Shondaland series on Netflix.
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Then, fall in love all over again by listening to Bridgerton, the official podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Subscribe to catch a new episode every Thursday.
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I ve never heard that in that language, man.
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That is so powerful.
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Thank you.
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You re so right about, as kids, how we don t have any memory or history, so we don t have any blocks, we don t have any limits.
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We don t.
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And begin to listen to the people around you.
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People say, hey, you re the product of who you hang around.
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How do I know if they serve me or not?
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Here s one way to just deduce this, because they could be beautiful people who care about you, and they might even support you.
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But when you re with them, what are you—you ever have those friends, you re with them, you re like, you remember when, you remember, you remember, remember that party, remember
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that thing.
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And if your friends are constantly bringing you to the filtration system of memory and history all the time, think this through.
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How often are those friends saying, Hey, what are you working on now?
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Where are you going?
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What s your vision?
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What do you want to create?
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And maybe that sounds hokey, but you and I have some of the, some of our, both our friends have the most amazing histories and you can t get them to talk about them.
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You have to work, because what are they still doing?
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They re talking about now and where they re going.
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Their viewpoint in their life is being present and having a vision for the future.
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A formula for misery, a formula for lack of creativity, lack of productivity, is constantly being history and memory.
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Even if it s good, it doesn t serve us.
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And for most of us, it s not good.
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And we keep living from it or trying to move away from it.
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Create a new future.
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Don t move away from the past.
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Create a brilliant, imaginative, curious, vibrant vision for your life.
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Oh, I love that.
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Yeah, we re always trying to create the same past.
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Yes.
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As opposed to a new future.
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A new future.
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And I find that what s really interesting about that, all the studies show that nostalgia makes us believe that the past was more phenomenal than it actually was.
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If you remember that party you went to at college, it s better in your memory than it actually was.
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If you actually could have gone back and remembered how you felt hungover and what you broke a bone or whatever happened, but now in your memory,
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It s beautiful, right?
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So our memory also is slightly warped of the past.
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No question.
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It can make things feel much better or much worse sometimes.
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No question.
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But what s really coming out for me right now is this idea that it s something you said a couple of moments ago and it sparked a thought for me.
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I remember the story that Vanessa Bryant told about Kobe Bryant after he passed away.
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I was fortunate enough to interview him about three months before his tragic passing.
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And she told this story and she said that Kobe would play through every injury.
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He would play through every pain.
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He would play through everything, even when the doctors and his coaches would say, stop playing.
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And she asked him, she said once, why he still plays.
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Again, going back to our curiosity, not assuming you know your partner.
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She asked him, why do you still play?
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And this is just her and him.
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There s no cameras.
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She s telling this story, but at the time it was just them two.
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He said it s because there s someone who s paid for a ticket today.
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They saved up, and this is the only time they re ever going to be able to come.
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Maybe a dad s brought his kid, maybe someone s come to the game, they re a lifelong fan, and they came today, and today s the only day they re going to get to see me.
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And if I say I m injured,
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They won t get to see me.
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So I m going to play so that that person gets to see me play. 
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And then he goes and wins.
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And it s like, that s love.
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That s what you were saying.
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Love for something is in the present moment also, right?
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Love is not just for the past.
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And it s funny how important one day is, man.
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When my dad got sick, my dad got cancer.
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When he first got sick, he goes, hey, my dad was a dude.
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He goes, look, I ll fight this one time.
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Okay, I ll do your little chemo and your surgery, but I m not gonna pour poison into my body.
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I m not gonna lose my hair.
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I m not gonna deteriorate.
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I ll give this thing a shot once.
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If it doesn t work, I m out.
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That led to eight years of him fighting it.
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Chemo, radiation, proton therapy, surgery, surgery, chemo, experimental chemo, and he did lose his hair, and he was in pain.
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And I d say to my dad, I d say, Dad, you re suffering so much.
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He said, you wouldn t suffer.
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He said, no, Eddie, I m in pain, but I m not suffering.
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I choose not to suffer, and I m not suffering because I get to see my grandkids again.
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And I might have said, Dad, why are you doing this?
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And he said, you only understand the power of one day when you re threatened with never having another one.
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I ll do anything for one more day.
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Get to be with you one more time.
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Give your mom a kiss one more time.
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Maybe I ll see one of my granddaughters get married.
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And he goes, I ll do anything for one more day.
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The beautiful thing is I was actually with Kobe a week before he passed away.
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We were in the same gym.
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Our daughters played volleyball.
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And ironically, that day, I watched Kobe walk out of the gym.
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There was only a couple dads left.
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It was late at night.
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He stayed and I stayed.
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And he had his youngest daughter in his arm and he was rubbing his other daughter s back.
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And I remember taking note of it, because I was with Bella at the other end of the gym.
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And I remember thinking, I don t hug Bella enough.
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I need to hug.
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No joke, bro.
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It s in the book.
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I went, I got to hug Bella one more time every day, not just once a day, plus one more time every day.
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My daughter s going to get extra hugs because Kobe does that.
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What if I could have said to Kobe when he got in his car, Kobe, you have one more week, brother.
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Tell those that you love, you love them, get it right.
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Whoever matters to you, make it right.
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Call your dad, make it right.
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Call your mom, call your family.
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What if the day before you could have said, Kobe, you have one day left.
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And my dad, same thing.
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I was with my dad when he had one day left.
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I was with my dad when he had one hour left.
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I was with my dad when he had one breath left.
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And when we begin to think of our life that way, the power of right now and having one more moment and one more minute is so beautiful.
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It s so blessed.
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It s so big.
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It s so amazing.
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Why would we spend that minute in history
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Why would we spend that minute in the past when we could be fully present in creating the future?
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And so, you know, I think most people think, Jay, everyone else is going to die.
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I m not gonna die.
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Or they go, I ll get around to being happy.
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I ll get around to making my masterpiece of my life.
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I ll get around to my dreams.
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I m gonna get around to fixing this relationship that s broken.
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I m gonna get around to feeling those emotions.
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And then it s another day, and another day, and they keep it in the distance until there are no more days.
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And I don t care if you re 18 years old listening to this, 28 or 48, we don t know if we have one more day
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or a hundred more days or a thousand more days.
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But we know this, there ll eventually be a time where we don t have any more days.
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And so why would we spend the ones that are coming looking at the past?
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And so my dad really taught me those lessons in watching him pass away.
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And that s why I have a whole thing in there of how to get
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21 days a week.
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Run many days.
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I get 21 days a week.
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We still measure time, bro.
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Like it s 1900.
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Think about 1900.
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If I wanted to get you a note, I d have to write a letter out, stick it on the back of a horse s butt in 1850.
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30 days later, you get it.
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That was a 24-hour day.
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Now I can text you in two seconds.
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We measure time the same way.
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So I teach you how to change your time so that you can make that day its maximum bliss, its maximum productivity.
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What s one more that you re working on right now?
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Right now, actually, it s an interesting season of my life.
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I have a TV show that I did with NBC that s called Change that I think has a chance of getting picked up.
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But my one more that I m working on right now for me and my life is my peace.
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And so there s this guy, Jay Shetty, that s a friend of mine that introduced me and my family to meditation.
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And I m giving myself the gift of, I don t just do it in the morning now.
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I ve given myself the gift of one more time every single day of just emptying my mind and trying to be fully present.
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And it s been work for me.
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I ve got that busy type of a mind.
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But I have found that my peace
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in my life.
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Most of us, Jay, have all these goals of things we want to do, and they re wonderful.
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And I believe in doing that.
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I think standards are more important than goals because, and I teach you in the book, how to set the standards that ll get those goals.
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But we really don t want the jet.
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We don t want the hit song.
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We don t want the amazing relationship.
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We don t want the million dollars.
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We want how we think it ll make us feel.
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And what if we began to become more intentional and outcome more
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about the things we feel in our life.
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And it took me a while, but now that I m older, when I feel strong, when I feel blissful, when I feel peaceful, is when I produce the physical things that I want, not the other way around.
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And so my one mores are more emotional focus.
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Most of us, then I ll come up for air here, have an emotional home.
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There s three or four or five emotions we experience on a regular basis.
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I write about it in the book.
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And no matter what happens, we find a way, even if they don t serve us, to get those emotions.
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If your emotional home is fear, anxiety, worry, depression, anger, you find a way every week to get that emotion.
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But what if that emotional home could become bliss and peace and joy and creativity and ecstasy?
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And so I m working on one more beautiful emotion for my emotional home, and for me it s peace.
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I love that.
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I love that answer, man.
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It s good to hear about what you ve been saying, like we re not living in the past and you re like in the present.
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But to have you answer that question, that peace is your presence.
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Like that s what you re looking for.
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That s the present.
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And it shows that you re using this, like it works.
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You re doing it time and time again.
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And I love what you said.
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It moves from the physical things into the subtle, into the emotional, into the deeper.
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I think that s so profound.
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what was that one more that if you didn t do it you wouldn t be here today what was what was one of those ones that like ah like that was the one that
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You convinced me, apart from obviously your father, that you were like, if I didn t do that, I wouldn t be Ed Milet today.
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I wouldn t be Max Outlife.
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The first business I built was a financial business and I had had some success, Jay.
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Like a lot of people do in life.
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And then it went backwards.
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And sometimes you get off the flagpole just a little bit.
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and you come back down, that s an emotional difficulty.
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Could be a relationship that was good that s gone, or maybe you saved some money, it s gone.
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Maybe you lost a bunch of weight and got fit and you gained it back.
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For me, it was my business.
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And I called my dad, who s a pretty wise guy now that he was sober.
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And, because I could tell you, man, I d do one more rep in the gym.
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I haven t done 10 reps on a bench press in 30 years.
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I ve done 10 plus one more a lot though.
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I haven t done 45 minutes on a treadmill, but I ve done 45 plus one more minute.
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Ten contacts a day never ten plus one more but the biggest one more was actually something else I called my dad and I said hey dad It s not going it s the business is crashing and I m running out of money Our power was turned off.
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Our water was turned off Jay.
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We had to take my wife every morning.
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We d lost our house We re living in an apartment now, then the water got turned off.
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You can t cook you can t bathe There was a apartment building.
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We had an outdoor shower at the swimming pool and
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And we were newlyweds, and I d have to get up every morning, walk down there, and I d hold a towel up while my wife took her shower every day outdoors and brush her teeth.
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And then she d switch and hold the towel up for me.
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And I d walk back up to the apartment, and I was so emasculated, so ashamed, so embarrassed.
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I was living a nightmare, selling a dream to everybody every day.
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We can do this.
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A lot of entrepreneurs or people can relate in their life.
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And anyway, I called my dad that night and I said, I think I need to pack it in.
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I need to go get a job.
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And just this success thing is not for people like us.
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And my dad goes, Eddie, you don t have to decide you re never going to quit.
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He goes, just don t quit for one more day.
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See how you feel tomorrow.
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I go, Dad, just don t do it for one more day.
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And I got the next day and I still wanted to quit, but not quite as much.
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And then I went one more day and one more day, and I found myself about 30 days later, I didn t want to quit anymore.
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And thank God the one more I did was I went one more day without quitting.
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And I m so grateful I didn t quit on my dream.
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Oh Ed wow that is like oh my gosh man like you just everything you re just dropping right now I m just like I hope everyone is taking notes if you haven t been taking notes I want you to take a screenshot right now of where we re at right now because that s what you re gonna have to listen to again so take a screenshot share it tell everyone to go to this segment listen to that over again because
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I think what I m hearing is that this is a lifestyle.
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This is a mindset.
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It s a lifestyle.
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It s an everyday, every moment way to live.
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This isn t just in the big business you re building.
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This is me telling my wife I love her one more time.
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This is me making sure I message my mom one more time.
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It s me making sure that when I m sitting here with you, I m always going to have to ask you one more question because you keep giving so much.
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No, but you keep giving so much.
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Well, that s what you just said.
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It will never end.
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I think people feel like they tried a lot and then they start building up resentment and pain and bitterness towards that path.
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And a lot of people also that I know, they just think that there are some people are meant to be.
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I agree with this.
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And then there are some people that are not meant to be.
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That s correct.
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And they carry that with them.
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And it comes from this like, oh, yeah, you were meant to be this or that person was meant to have it.
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But for me, this is where and I heard that kind of come up in what you were saying to your dad, like doesn t happen to people like us.
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How does this rule, how does this principle apply to someone who s in that situation?
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Brother, best question ever.
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Because I grew up with no, you have an alcoholic dad or a drug addict or maybe you come from divorce or maybe your parents just didn t love you enough, whatever it was, didn t tell you they loved you enough.
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It s hard to have self-confidence.
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I was a little guy, I got bullied in school and
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I just, and even at this age now, bro, if I m being completely honest, self-confidence, we all teach that it s part of keeping the promises you make to yourself.
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But what if you raise the standard a little higher?
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You keep the promises you make to yourself, plus one more.
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Because for me, self-confidence didn t come easy.
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I think in life, ultimately you re gonna get what you believe you deserve.
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And if you re wound up, wired like me, I didn t think I deserved a lot.
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I didn t even have a dad who could stop drinking, right?
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I wasn t six foot four.
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I don t have an incredibly high IQ.
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There s nothing really that impressive about me, nor were people very impressed with me most of my life.
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So that was my pattern, that was my history, that was my memory.
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And so the only, I could wait around until I developed tremendous self-confidence, or I could begin to do things.
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every day that were small, they re not major.
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And over time, when I did those one more calls, that one more meeting, that one more book I read, that one more podcast, not only am I doing more reps, so the likelihood of me being successful is bigger, but I started to convince myself I m doing things other people aren t willing to do.
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Maybe I deserve things other people aren t gonna get.
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And slowly but surely, I started to convince myself I did deserve it based on what I was doing, not necessarily the caliber of my talent.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
3
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Guess what, Mango?
3
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What s that, Will?
3
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So iHeart is giving us a whole minute to promote our podcast, Part-Time Genius.
3
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I know.
3
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That s why I spent my whole week composing a haiku for the occasion.
3
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It s about my emotional journey in podcasting over the last seven years, and it s called Earthquake House.
3
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Mango, I m going to cut you off right there.
3
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Why don t we just tell people about our show instead?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s a better idea.
3
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So every week on Part-Time Genius, we feed our curiosity by answering the world s most important questions.
3
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Things like, when did America start dialing 911?
3
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Is William Shatner s best acting work in Esperanto?
3
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Also, what happened to Esperanto?
3
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Plus, we cover questions like how Chinese is your Chinese food?
3
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How do dollar stores stay in business?
3
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And of course, is there an Illuminati of cheese?
3
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There absolutely is.
3
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And we are risking our lives by talking about it.
3
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But if you love mind-blowing facts, incredible history and really bad jokes, make your brains happy and tune in to Part-Time Genius.
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Listen to Part-Time Genius on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
3
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Yeah, there s a thought I ve been having recently and it s that comfort creates self-care, but discomfort creates self-respect.
3
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Oh boy, I love that.
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It s what you re saying, that the one more discomfort every day, that s where self-respect comes from.
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Yes, great term.
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You don t start to trust yourself or build self-esteem or believe in yourself because you just say it to yourself.
3
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It s coming, what you just said.
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You go out there and take one more meeting and see what you learn.
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You go out there and take one more risk, one more discomfort.
3
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And I guarantee you, if you have a successful or happy friend, whichever how you determine that, and you ask them this, they d tell you that we re right.
3
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They would tell you, gosh, that s right.
3
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It s right.
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And the difference between winning and losing, happiness and sadness, is so small it s almost scary to talk about.
3
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But the good news is I think I kind of know what it is, and it s this one more.
3
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Absolutely.
3
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The people that I know that are the most successful and happy have more uncomfortable conversations.
3
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Agreed.
3
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They have more uncomfortable days.
3
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They have more discomfort in their lives.
3
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Yes, totally agree with that.
3
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But selected discomfort.
3
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One of the other things that I m asking from now I m like going into like the people that I know that I m thinking about, I can see their faces and I want them to know that I m asking for them.
3
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A lot of the time one more in the wrong direction can also be
3
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really misguiding.
3
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Sometimes people and I know you re a person of faith too and so we can touch on this.
3
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Sometimes we re climbing the mountain and we keep doing one more but we re actually going further away from who we are, who we want to be, our faith, our partners.
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We know people who ve built
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multi-billion dollar companies but lost their kids.
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That s right.
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Or they ve become famous and rich but their partner cheated on them.
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You know like really painful stuff.
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And you know people who didn t do all of that that s happened too.
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It s both ways.
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How does one use one more and make sure it s in the right direction?
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Such a great question.
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I m doing this now regularly because I ve made some of those mistakes.
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And what I do is I check in with myself one more time.
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Meaning, it s important to ask yourself, what matters to me now?
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See, if we had this conversation 20 years ago, the things that mattered to me then are so different than what matter to me now.
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But a lot of us keep operating out of what used to.
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Maybe you ve achieved or pursuing a dream and it s really truly no longer your dream.
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It s no longer your dream.
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When I was young, listen, we were going to do a podcast.
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You say, hey, I need you on the show.
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People are going to love you.
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You re going to get recognition.
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You re going to get all this acknowledgement.
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And that would have been my hot button, my need.
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I believe in the six human needs.
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My need was significance and recognition.
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And there s
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nothing wrong with that.
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It s wonderful.
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And so that s the button to get me to move would be significance recognition.
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Well, I ve been blessed the last 30 years or so of my life to have a beautiful abundance of significance and recognition.
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It s no longer what fills me.
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Now, you get me to do an interview and go, Hey, I really think we could help some people.
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My big button in my life now is contribution.
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There was another stage in my life, it s still there, but if you go there, you ll grow.
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I still want to grow, but I know me now.
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Right now, I m in a season of my life
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That s contribution.
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It s giving.
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It s what fills my heart.
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And I think it s checking in with yourself one more time.
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What matters to me now?
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What do I want now?
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What s important to me now?
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What season?
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Maybe you re in a season where you need to rest.
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Maybe your spirit and everything about you is telling you, hey, it s time to feed you again.
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It s time to recharge.
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If that s the season,
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then answer that call.
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Don t play out of a past playbook.
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And so, for me, that s the season I m in now.
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And I m sure that in five or eight more years, there ll be something else.
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But I regularly, on a monthly basis, you recommend it in your book so beautifully about your relationship, checking in.
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You have these strategies you teach about weekly and monthly and quarterly and yearly with your partner of checking in with them.
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I also recommend you check in with yourself and what matters to you now.
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And so for me, it s a matter of checking in now so that I don t lose my family in the pursuit of my business or lose me.
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Yeah.
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Lose me.
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Who am I anymore?
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And I ve had times where I m like, this doesn t feel like me anymore.
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Yeah.
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And I had at least the ability to at least acknowledge that and make a change.
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Yeah.
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And I love that you brought up seasons because I feel like
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no one on planet earth we don t have the power to change the season but you have the power to live the season well that s right you can either be in the right now it s been raining right wherever we are it s been like pouring down with rain there s all this effort you could carry an umbrella
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Well, you can tell how I m dressed.
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I m definitely not dressed in my usual gear.
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Right.
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Because I m dressed for the rain.
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I m prepared.
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Yes.
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Because that s all I can do.
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I can t make the rain switch off.
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I can t stop it, right?
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Like, I can t do that.
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And so I love hearing that you re just learning how to thrive in the season.
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And so if your season s telling you to rest, you can t force the season.
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And you have to live it through.
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You have to experience it.
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You know, I think you have to remember one thing, man.
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I think it s just easy as a person to forget this.
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And I just would love to say this because you have such an amazing reach.
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Each of you, you and I included, we were born to do something great with our life.
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We were born to do something great with our life.
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And it s important to check in from time to time of what that current great thing is.
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And sometimes we think it s the big things.
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It s the people that are on both our shows.
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They ve made this big movie.
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They ve got this big song.
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They re this big thing.
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Who s greater?
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The man who helped my dad get sober?
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or the fact that maybe I ve helped some people because my dad got sober.
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That one act was greatness in his life, that kind moment with another person that says, I can help you.
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Let me connect with you.
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And so don t discount your own greatness, your own call to do something great.
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And it doesn t have to be a script or a play or a book or a speech or on social media.
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It s just doing something great, and you matter.
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I don t mean this hokey.
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I m telling you the truth about you.
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You matter.
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You were born to do something awesome with your life.
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Your family s supposed to do something great as a family, and maybe it s just checking in and reminding yourself of that, and then asking yourself, what is that thing right now in my life?
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And so, I just think that reminder s so important that, you know, it s great to voyeuristically look in on successful people, or what we think
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or successful people.
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It s also important that the camera turn back on you and go, you matter.
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You matter.
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You re great.
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And that s probably the most important thing we d say today.
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Oh, gosh, man.
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Yeah.
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And you know, one thing you just clarified beautifully is that
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great doesn t have to be big and big doesn t mean great right and i think we re so obsessed today we are in that to do something great it has to be big it has to be bold you know when i think about myself honestly ed and and i can say this to you because i think i think in these sessions and when we spend time together you ve heard my heart
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I was one of those people who actually never believed I could do any of the stuff I ve done.
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I never set out when I started and I was like, one day I m going to be, I didn t have any of that.
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That s not how I m wired.
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I was wired in like, I want to serve.
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I m going to serve whoever comes, whether it s five people, 10 people, I m happy.
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I ll serve them.
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And as I started to do that, I got more confidence, like, okay, now I want to serve larger groups.
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Okay, let me serve them.
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And then it was like, and I never believed at any point that there were these arbitrary abstract goals of like, number one, this and like, those weren t how I set out.
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And so when I m listening to you speak,
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I hope someone s out there thinking, Jay, I m like, Jay and Ed, I m like you guys, where it s like, I don t vibe with all that like, like motivation.
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It s like, I just vibe with the fact that I want to have a great impact, like the person that helped your father.
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Yeah.
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And you know what we ve both found in our life too, just to give you insight from someone called me seasoned today.
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If you know this, is that, you know, the universe or God really prepares you to step into the next room when you step in with some faith.
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And so maybe it does start with five or six people and maybe that s enough, but perhaps in that space you re in, there ll be a little door open.
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And if you step into that one, you ll, you ll find, I think we think I have to have it all figured out.
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Wozniak s a good buddy of mine who started Apple.
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They didn t.
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They were a board company.
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They didn t know they d be doing this someday.
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They stepped into the next space.
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And one thing I think we also want is an immediate result.
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And I talk about this in the book.
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Maybe this will be the last little thing I ll share with you.
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But I went to a birthday party as I was writing the book, and it was for a young boy.
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And they had a pinata.
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You ve all been to a, especially if you live in California, you have the pinata.
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And so what they did is they took
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Each of these little guys, they blindfolded them and spun them around and they re all dizzy and they re swinging and they re not even near the pinata.
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That s life.
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A lot of times you feel like, man, I m blind.
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I don t even know where I m swinging right now, but I m swinging.
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And so each kid hit the pinata and the candy didn t come out.
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And so they take the blindfold off, that kid got tired, the next little boy came up, spun him around.
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So like seven of them hit this piñata, no candy came out.
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The last boy, the smallest boy, the youngest boy there, they filled the blindfold on him, they spin him around, he s swinging too, that s life, you re just sort of swinging, right?
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They finally point him at the piñata, he hits the piñata just once, bam, all the candy comes out.
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And all the kids jump on and celebrate.
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And I m watching that and I m going,
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Now, who broke the pinata?
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Was it the last shot?
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Or was it the cumulative blows of each of the shots on the pinata?
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Well, we all know the answer.
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It was the cumulative shots.
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Life s a lot like that, man.
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That we re taking shots, but we don t see any physical progress.
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But every one more we re doing is compound pounding progress.
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And in life, you have to be willing to buy into what is invisible progress.
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Most people quit on their dream, quit on their vision,
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before the candy comes out.
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And what you and I didn t do is quit.
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We just kept swinging.
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And eventually the candy comes out.
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The candy could be your bliss, your joy, your financial success, your notoriety, your contribution.
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But most people are hitting the pinata of their life and there s no evidence it s working.
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But the truth is there s a compound pounding effect in life that if you keep hitting your life s pinata, if you ll stick around, there ll be some candy come out.
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The power of one more, everyone.
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Ed Milet.
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Go and grab this book if you haven t already.
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It s going to be a life changer.
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I mean it.
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I mean, you can just feel the energy coming off this human being, honestly.
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I want you to go read this book.
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I want you to go listen to the podcast if you don t already.
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The first book was called Max Out Your Life as well, the Max Out podcast.
4
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Ed.
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You are just, I mean, your energy is infectious.
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I don t know how anyone can t listen to you, read from you, hear from you and not feel like they need to change their life.
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You ve just given me a list of number ones that I m going to do, one more.
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I hope that you keep coming back on the show.
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I hope that we keep getting to connect offline.
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I hope that we get to keep spending one more day, one more phone call, one more time together.
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I m so grateful for you, bro.
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I love you.
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Really grateful, man.
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Thank you so much.
4
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Thank you.
4
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Everyone grab the copy of the book.
4
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I ll put it in the link.
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I ll put it in the comment section in the caption.
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The Power of One More.
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This is the book.
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Love it, brother.
4
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Thanks, brother.
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That was good.
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That was good.
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That was good.
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If you loved this episode, you ll love my interview with Kobe Bryant on how to be strategic and obsessive to find your purpose.
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A new season of Bridgerton is here.
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And with it, a new season of Bridgerton, the official podcast.
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I m your host, Gabby Collins.
4
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And this season, we are bringing fans even deeper into the ton.
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Watch season three of the Shondaland series on Netflix, then fall in love all over again by listening to Bridgerton, the official podcast on the iHeartRadio
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app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Subscribe to catch a new episode every Thursday.