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Welcome back to The School of Greatness, one of the top podcasts in the world.
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Today, we have the incredibly talented Zooey Deschanel.
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You know her as the star of the hit TV show New Girl and films like Almost Famous.
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But today, Zooey is here to share a more personal side of her story, from her recent engagement to the challenges and triumphs of her career in Hollywood.
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Thanks so much for joining us.
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I think you re going to love this.
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Now let s dive in.
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There were things that happened in the business that were, for a little bit, kind of felt like were gonna be the end, right?
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I was like, ooh, is this the end?
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Am I just gonna be a musician?
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Really?
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Like, you thought your career was over?
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Yeah, I did, yeah.
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Really?
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I did, I really did.
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In addition to being a musician, a writer, an entrepreneur, Zooey Deschanel has been in some of our favorite movies, like Almost Famous, or starring opposite Will Ferrell in the Christmas classic Elf, and the offbeat romantic comedy 500 Days of Summer.
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I had this thing, like when I was a kid, people would look at me and laugh and be mean, and so like, the same feeling when everyone looks at you, and so it would remind me of that.
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That was really hard, actually.
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Really?
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I really wasn t prepared for it.
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Like, people running up and, you know, crowding you and that stuff, nobody gives you any playbook for that.
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When I let go, and I m not just going, will they like me if I do that?
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When I kind of am myself, I am successful.
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What would you say since starting your career was the biggest challenge you ve had to overcome?
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The thing is a lot of people see things from far away and they re like oh you re so successful but you have like
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Welcome back, everyone, to the School of Greatness.
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Very excited about our guest.
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We have the inspiring Zooey Deschanel in the house.
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So good to see you.
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So good to see you, too.
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Very excited.
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We, in a past life, we used to be neighbors.
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It s true.
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We both grew up in the 90s.
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Yeah.
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And we both got engaged around the same time.
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I know.
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It s incredible.
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So congratulations on the engagement.
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Thank you.
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You, too.
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Thank you.
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Thank you.
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Where d you guys get engaged, by the way?
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Well, here s the interesting thing.
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I told her at the beginning of last year that by the end of the year we ll be engaged.
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Oh, good for you.
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Because she wanted to start a family eventually and she was like, you know, what s the plan?
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Right.
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I was like, okay, by the end of the year I will get engaged.
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Yeah.
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So I had a live annual event called the Summit of Greatness that I did in Columbus, Ohio, my hometown, which I did every year.
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And I interviewed her on stage in front of thousands of people.
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And at the end, you ll like this, at the end of our interview, at the end of the event, I stood up and I said, everyone, you know, let s give it up for Martha.
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Everyone s clapping at the end of our conversation.
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And then I m standing there in front of the audience and saying, oh, wait a minute.
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I forgot, there s one question I ve always wanted to ask someone on my show that I ve never asked in 10 years of the show.
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And so I turned to her and I asked her, will you marry me?
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And so it was a cool moment.
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Her family was there, my family was there.
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So it was a good moment.
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Was she surprised?
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I think she was.
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Because I was planning to do it later in the year.
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So it was kind of months before.
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So it was a good moment.
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That s great.
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Did you know that you were going to get engaged at that point?
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No, I had no idea.
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No, I was really surprised.
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Did you guys talk about engagement?
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I mean we did and I knew at some point it would happen but we d been together a long time, like four years.
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And I just really wasn t expecting it, especially we were on a tour of Edinburgh Castle, which is like this amazing castle.
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And we had the kids with us and it was kind of like one of those things like going to a museum, you know, you do with the kids and they re kind of like, you know.
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Did they know?
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No, not until the like the very right before it happened.
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He kind of he Jonathan went in the other room to like get mic d up and somehow my son like saw it somehow got confused was like, why is why does he have a mic on you know, like he didn t know what a mic was, but he was like something weird is going on.
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Um, but, um, they actually held up the sign that said, Oh, wow, that s cute.
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They had the sign.
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Yeah, it was all it was all big surprise.
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But we we finished this tour of the castle.
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And like my son and put the big giant sticker on me.
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And actually earlier on the day, it was funny because Jonathan s like, you know,
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we re going to this castle, we might meet the royal family.
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So you have to dress nicely.
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This was how he got me to not wear jeans.
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Wow.
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I mean, and I was like, oh, OK.
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I was like, that s weird.
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I just thought it was kind of weird.
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I was like, why would they just be hanging out?
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Right, right.
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It s not like a castle where people live.
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It s like, you know.
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Sure.
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More of like a museum.
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And so I was like, OK, that s weird.
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And then it was like, no hats.
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And I was like, OK.
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It s like all these rules.
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Also weird.
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Yeah, there were like a ton of rules in the calendar.
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He goes, I don t know.
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He s like, you better iron your clothes.
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And he was like, actually, I ll iron it for you.
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Like, he ironed my skirt for me.
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Really?
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And I was like, I was like, he s really, like, really wants to feel nice for this.
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It s like, make sure you do your nails.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Well, he didn t actually tell me to do that.
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And my mom was actually like, she was like, you need to get someone to do her hair and makeup or something.
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And he was like, no, she s fine.
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Which luckily I like, I luckily had a manicure, all that stuff.
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Maybe he knew you already had that.
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He knew it, otherwise he might have encouraged it.
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I took her.
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to go like the week before.
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I was like, oh, we should go, you know, we re going on a trip, let s get a manicure.
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I was like, I ll get a foot rub or something, you know, which I never do, but I m like, I ll go with you.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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All these things you have to think of because they take pictures of your hands.
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Right.
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Exactly.
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Close ups.
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You know, both of us growing up in the 90s, I m curious,
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I didn t really learn about how to create healthy relationships growing up.
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I didn t learn, there wasn t as much tools and information and books about love and vulnerability and intimacy.
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Not as much accessible info.
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Therapy wasn t an option growing up really.
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It was more like being from Ohio was never like talk about your feelings type of thing.
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When I got older and I started to do kind of like healing work and learn about relationships and vulnerability and intimacy, I was like, wow, there s so much more I needed to learn about love and intimacy.
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And since we re talking about intimacy and love, I m curious, did you have a good, did you have a good toolbox of how to be in great, like how to express love and receive love growing up?
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Or was it more challenging for you to experience love?
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Um, I have like such great parents and like a great, my sister is great.
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So great.
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Like I have a really great like family unit that I came from and I went to a school that was very like encouraging.
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Like we had basically every year from seventh grade on at my school we had like kind of like a weekly group
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therapy kind of session.
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Yeah, it s called the, it s called their like mysteries program.
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Um, and, uh, and everybody learns how to express their feelings and, and it s, it s great.
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Um, but I, I still have learned so much just as an adult, like, you know, um, going to therapy.
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I, you know, all those things I have found to be incredibly enriching to my life and, and I m always learning and always discovering.
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I m very much like a self-improver.
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I m always looking to get better.
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There s always something to work on and that s always how I ve been.
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I m like, give me notes, I ll take them.
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Yeah.
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Even in acting and in your career as well?
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Everything.
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I want to always be improving.
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I m always looking to get better.
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That s just in everything.
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Because if you re just…what?
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I just want to stay in the middle?
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No.
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I want to keep going.
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I want to get better at everything all the time.
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can t take feedback because they get so criticized and they feel like they re not good enough, but you are more of like, I want to dive in and give me feedback.
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I think partially too, because I m actually really, I m actually like a very direct person myself.
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So I ll like say what s on my mind.
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And then if somebody pushes, yeah, I ll be like, I don t know.
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Tell me why.
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I will only go at one and know why.
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But like, I ll push back at hoping that somebody will, not like a rude way, but hoping that somebody will give me why and we can come to a better understanding.
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I think it s,
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I really want to do the best job possible.
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And that s always the goal.
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If you are respectful and nice and you say, I don t know, I don t agree with that.
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But still, as an actor, it s part of the job to take direction.
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You have to.
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If you can t trust your director then you re kind of screwed.
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Sometimes you have to push back because you don t understand or sometimes you think maybe they have the wrong idea and you ll do a better job doing something else.
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And I always think like an actor, it s an actor s job to know the character better than anybody else.
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Really?
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Better than the director or the producer?
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Yeah, because they have a lot of things to think about.
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Producer s thinking about like very, very, very many things on the outside of the production.
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The director s thinking about like everything overall.
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They certainly will have like a lot of ideas about, you know, it s kind of more big picture.
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Director s more big picture, actor s more,
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like it s more, you know, micro.
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Right.
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And every job pretty much other than director and producer on a film set is very micro.
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So it s like, you know, you have a lot of people doing very, very, very detailed work.
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And I think of an actor, you re just doing very, very detailed work on your character.
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So if you think something s off, you have to say something.
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But like, again, you also have to be able to take direction.
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So it s kind of like you have to be quite flexible.
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That s interesting.
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So you re big into growth and wanting to become better.
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Oh, always, yeah.
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What would you say since starting your career was the biggest challenge you ve had to overcome?
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Oh, since starting?
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Oh, like, oh, there have been so many.
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I mean, it s like there s so many times where you re like, the thing is, is a lot of people see things from far away.
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And they re like, oh, you re so successful.
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But you have like, you have like moments of great success.
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And then you have moments where that success dips, you know, especially since I started out doing movies.
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movies are like you might have like a big movie and it is marketed to everybody and there s tons of publicity around it and like everyone s hearing about you and then you get like a ton of attention maybe like a lot of offers you get you know a lot of accolades people come up to you you know you get that and then
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You know when that marketing goes away and people aren t seeing then those things kind of ebb and flow a lot and you you feel it How does that feel like when you get all the attention for three to four months and then yeah Maybe crickets for a year six months.
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I mean, it s nice to have a
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It s nice for me.
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It s nice to have breaks from like if you re like being wrecked like the people maybe like Say like taylor swift right is like taylor swift can t go every day every day, you know And that s challenging that you can t go and it s like sometimes you just want to go and be a normal person go to the grocery store and like not have people like looking at you all the time, I think
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I think it s nice to have some breaks.
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But I definitely think, like, you know, as you, that hopefully as an actor, you have, like, a long career, and then you have, you go through phases of your life, and you re gonna fit different, you know, as an actor, you play different parts, so you re gonna fit into different categories over the course of your career, and then you have these, it can be awkward transitions between, like... Really?
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Yeah, very much, yeah.
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What s the hardest transition you ve had to make in your career?
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I don t, I don t know if I would say like, I mean, it s definitely like, like, I mean, I really did think about, I mean, it wasn t even like my, like, it wasn t even, there were things that happened in the business that were maybe
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for a little bit, kind of felt like we re gonna be the end, right?
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I was like, because I do music too, and I was like, there was a time, I remember it was like, I was doing indie movies, like my whole 20s, and was successful at that and doing, and then like some bigger comedies and stuff like that.
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And all of a sudden,
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around the end of my 20s, a bunch of the studios cut their slates majorly.
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So then they cut out those comedy kind of movies that they would do.
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And they cut the parts of the studio that would do the smaller movies.
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The stuff you were working on, yeah.
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The stuff that I did all got cut.
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And then they were making superhero movies only.
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And that s cool.
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I like superhero movies.
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But that s not the only thing I like.
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And that s not the kind of stuff that I cut my teeth doing.
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And so I was like, oh, is this the end?
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Am I just going to be a musician?
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Really?
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Like you thought your career was over?
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Yeah, I did.
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Yeah.
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Really?
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I did.
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I really did.
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And I toured like for I remember I toured like for a year straight.
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I was just like not working on anything.
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Yeah, I just toured.
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And then New Girl popped up.
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I remember getting that script.
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And I hadn t thought about, like, back then, it s funny, now we just think TV and movies, all the same.
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Everyone, like, all these movie stars do TV.
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Back then.
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Like, people who did movies did not cross over to do TV.
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It was, like, considered this weird thing.
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Like, there was, like, some line of delineation, and it was, like, okay, why would you do a TV show?
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It was, like, maybe occasionally... Don t ruin your career.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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And maybe it would be an HBO show somebody would do, Showtime or something like that, but doing a network TV show was, like, not done.
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Wow.
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I remember being like, that s stupid.
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Why would that be?
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And I kind of think my own kind of like a little bit of rebelliousness inside me going, well, that s ridiculous.
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Why would I let that define me?
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Like if the material is good,
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And I trust the show creator, which I did.
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She s like unbelievably talented.
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And I know who s involved, like Jake Kazin, who directed the pilot, like I ve known forever and he s extraordinarily talented.
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If I know all these people and I know they do quality work and they are like doing something that I want to work on, why do I care whether it s like a movie or a TV show?
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You know, obviously doing TV shows like a little bit more like getting married.
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So you re kind of like, you know, you re in it.
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You could be in it for a really long time.
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But yeah, I remember being like, nah, I m not listening to that stupid, like old idea that like film actors aren t supposed to do TV.
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So I just did it and it paid off.
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So.
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So well, and then then all these film actors that I knew were coming up and going I want to do a TV show I remember like famous very famous.
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Yeah coming and saying oh, I want to do TV and I was like I Was like I felt good about the fact that I had done something that was a little bit scary, you know But it paid off, you know, yeah, that s why I think I think you you have to go where the like as an actor anyone creative go where the material is don t think about The medium so much really cuz like yeah
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Who cares where it is, whether it s a play, it s a podcast, a TV show, a web series, a movie, a little tiny indie.
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If the material is good, that should be the thing that s the most important.
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So what makes you decide what you wanna work on now?
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And would you do a small web series if the material was incredible now?
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Or is there?
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It would have to be really incredible.
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No, I would do, honestly, I go where material, it s material and who I m working with.
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The team, yeah, yeah.
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And the team, you know, yeah, because obviously, I mean, I ve also read scripts and been like, I don t get this.
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And then it turns out to be great because the director knows how to make it great.
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Interesting.
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Yeah.
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Was there ever a script that you that you read and you said, nah, I don t really like this.
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But then it later went on to be like this big success.
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I m so many.
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Yes.
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Well, because sometimes it s like I don t get it because I don t like because it s not for me.
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There are things like knowing our own like what we are great at, you know, is also important.
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Like like I always want to know I m going to add value to something like if I don t get it, I m not going to add value.
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You know, I ll be like,
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floundering.
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But then I ll be like, there have been times where I ve read something and I m like, I don t really get it.
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And then I ll see some actress just like crush it.
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And I m like, oh, she knew how to do that part.
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It s just like who they are and their angle on it.
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And yeah, I mean, it s happened so many times.
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How have you learned how to, I guess, deal with rejection or with not getting the part?
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You know, when I look at your list of credits, it seems like everything that you ve ever auditioned for, you ve gotten.
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It s what it looks like.
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There s so much you ve worked on, right?
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And so many successes.
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But I know just being in LA that you ve probably done many rounds of auditioning, especially early in your career, where you just go on audition and you don t get it.
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How have you learned to navigate and, I guess, go through that process of rejection?
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Yeah, it s really hard at first, and I m really happy that I did it.
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I was like in high school when I started, so it felt like, oh, this is bonus, you know?
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It was like what I really wanted to do, but I didn t think, oh, I have to make it now when I m 16 years old.
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I thought like, oh, hopefully by the time I m 25, I m successful, but I wasn t like, oh, I need to be.
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crushing it as a teenager crushing it as a teenager so i kind of knew that it was like recreational but it did mean a lot to me and i would take the rejection pretty hard really i mean yeah i m an emotional person so i would be like i remember like crying and like it was it was sometimes you get really attached to something like you really want it you really want it you re practicing it you re on yeah yeah
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But then I think I realized, you know, after a lot of that, that, I don t know, your skin gets thicker and you start to just go...
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, if they don t, you know, they don t get me or maybe I wasn t the right person for it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like, like I was just talking, you know, that, that, that it s not, it s not an insult to you if you don t get a part.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s not like, oh, you suck because of that.
2
SPEAKER_00
I think actually, actually the best thing now that we re talking, the best thing that happened to me was,
2
SPEAKER_00
remember the first time I was involved in the other side on the other side of Casting like I had already been cast in something and they wanted me to come in and read with all the guys coming in And TV show or it was a movie.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and they had the part I had like we want to see you test with other people exactly They wanted to see me like read with a bunch of guys who were coming in to play like my boyfriend and see you know chemistry and see how they were and I remember that
2
SPEAKER_00
the guy who was actually the absolute best actor, he was so incredible, was just not right for the part.
2
SPEAKER_00
And there was another guy who was more like limited in his skill, but he was right for the part and was the one who got it.
2
SPEAKER_00
But I kind of was like, oh, I wish I could just, I mean, I didn t ever tell the actor that didn t get cast, because I never saw him again, but he was incredible.
2
SPEAKER_00
And you re like, oh my God, what an actor.
2
SPEAKER_00
He s just taking everything in, in a way that I admire so much.
2
SPEAKER_00
But it s not about you.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s not about your skills.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s about an overall persona.
2
SPEAKER_00
There s certain parts I m just not going to play because I don t represent that to people.
2
SPEAKER_00
There are just certain things that
2
SPEAKER_00
you don t work in that part.
2
SPEAKER_00
And that was it.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I feel like a lot of people take things so personally when their project doesn t work out or they launch a book and people don t buy it or whatever.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s really hard.
2
SPEAKER_01
So when did you learn to not take things personally and to realize,
2
SPEAKER_01
It s not about me and my talent.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s just I don t play the character the way that needs to be played.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it s just not the right fit.
2
SPEAKER_01
When was that?
2
SPEAKER_01
How old were you when you started?
2
SPEAKER_00
I was in my 20s for sure.
2
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it took me a while because I started when I was really young, but yeah, I was definitely in my 20s.
2
SPEAKER_00
And you know, it s still like, still things keep connecting.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like as I get older, I m like, I, things, I,
2
SPEAKER_00
I m less affected by those things, but every once in a while I m surprised by something and I ll be like, whoa, that hurt.
2
SPEAKER_00
Really?
2
SPEAKER_00
Of course, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
When was the last time you had that experience though?
2
SPEAKER_01
Because I m assuming at this moment,
2
SPEAKER_01
people just say, we want you for this part.
2
SPEAKER_01
You probably don t have to audition that much, or maybe they just want to do a quick read.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t audition very much.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t audition much, but.
2
SPEAKER_01
We want you, if you want it, you got the part.
2
SPEAKER_00
Right.
2
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it s not so much that stuff.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s just, I mean, I can t even think, but I mean, I m just saying, like, I m still surprised by stuff.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know, I can t think specifically.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s not the same stuff, because it s not like going in and reading and then, and putting my heart into an audition and then.
2
SPEAKER_00
Practicing for days.
2
SPEAKER_00
Practicing, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know, but I actually,
2
SPEAKER_00
you know I don t think that stuff ever goes to waste because even if you re like you work really hard on something and you put that energy into a character like you end up using it later in like another character I always think like you work really hard on something and people remember when you work hard and you you know
2
SPEAKER_00
People remember, so it doesn t go away.
2
SPEAKER_00
So it s like when you do a good job, people remember.
2
SPEAKER_00
And maybe in three years, they might go, you know what, she wasn t right for that part, but we really liked her and she put so much effort into that.
2
SPEAKER_00
It is really appreciated when you, and I know for myself there are times when I don t have, you know, when I really like say, I still have, you know, I still will like meet, you know, directors and producers and things.
2
SPEAKER_00
And when I take the time to really study their past work or study the scripts that they re, you know, making, it really pays off.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like if I haven t done the work,
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t come across as well, you know?
2
SPEAKER_00
So all those things, I mean, we still are freelancers, actors are freelancers.
2
SPEAKER_00
You still have to prepare and show up, you know?
2
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
What is the part you played or the project you worked on that taught you the most about yourself?
2
SPEAKER_01
Maybe it was a well-known thing that people know about and see, or maybe it was something small that no one really ever saw, but what s the part you ve played in your career that taught you the most about you?
2
SPEAKER_00
I mean, probably getting to do New Girl, because it was so long.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was over seven seasons, or I mean, it was like eight years of my life.
2
SPEAKER_00
And before that, because I would go from film to film, you show less of yourself with a film.
2
SPEAKER_00
And to some degree it s like, I was probably playing less lead roles, more like,
2
SPEAKER_00
you know, like large supporting roles, like, you know, and you show just like more, you re kind of like picking and choosing like what you show and that s, you know, an important thing in terms of like telling the story.
2
SPEAKER_00
But when you re telling like this very broad story and it s very long and you have like, you know,
2
SPEAKER_00
a limited number of lead characters, and you show a lot of yourself.
2
SPEAKER_00
And before that, I also was not necessarily known for doing that kind of, a little bit more broad comedy.
2
SPEAKER_00
I wasn t doing that.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I knew it was something I could do.
2
SPEAKER_00
That was like, when I read that script, I m like, I know I haven t done this before, but I know I can nail this.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was like a really like, it was a really like,
2
SPEAKER_00
I felt extremely confident, like I know I can do this, and I know nobody thinks of me as this yet.
2
SPEAKER_00
My first thing when I was really young, first in my career, and I remember I would go to auditions and I would do movies and I would get cast in a lot of these kind of sardonic, deadpan, sarcastic kind of roles, and then move in playing girlfriends and things like that.
2
SPEAKER_00
And it was just different.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was different from a lot of the stuff I d done.
2
SPEAKER_00
So it was, it was fun to get to be like, I can do, you know, it s like nice when you know, like, you know, you re like, I haven t done this, but I know I can nail it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_00
That was like, it did teach me a lot to have confidence in the things where like, like, I know I can value add here.
2
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_01
So eight years of your life for one project essentially.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, long time.
2
SPEAKER_01
What would you say were the three biggest lessons you learned about yourself during those eight years?
2
SPEAKER_01
Maybe personally in your life, in your career, what opened up for you during that time?
2
SPEAKER_00
You ve got to get enough sleep.
2
SPEAKER_00
Sleep is so important.
2
SPEAKER_01
Your health.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I really took…we were just working so hard.
2
SPEAKER_00
Our first three seasons we were not getting…we were just working so hard and spending so many hours on set.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I got into horseback riding at that time.
2
SPEAKER_00
I like spending, the time I spent outside with animals, I would take all these vitamins to help with my, make sure that I didn t get sick.
2
SPEAKER_00
I did not get sick ever.
2
SPEAKER_00
Everyone was like, couldn t believe it.
2
SPEAKER_00
But that was because I really started really taking care of myself.
2
SPEAKER_01
Really?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Did you feel yourself starting to get tired or exhausted from just all the shooting?
2
SPEAKER_00
So exhausted, yeah, we were all so tired, oh my gosh.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like 16 hour days, just nonstop.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah, all the time, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Really, and the season was what, three to four months, roughly, or less?
2
SPEAKER_00
Eight months.
2
SPEAKER_01
Eight months for the season?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s intense.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was a lot, it was intense, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
I mean, we all, we spent more time around our cast mates, like at our, you know, like our crew, than we did around our families.
2
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so that s one lesson.
2
SPEAKER_01
What else opened up for you during that time?
2
SPEAKER_00
I also, like, I mean, I ended up, I had both my kids while I was on the show.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I did like... How was that, being a mom and being a star of a show?
2
SPEAKER_00
It was really hard.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s like you have two high-demanding jobs, you know, being a mom and being a star of a star show.
2
SPEAKER_00
I will say too that my sister was on the same lot as me shooting her show.
2
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_00
And also had, she had her younger baby around the same time I had my older one.
2
SPEAKER_00
So they re just a couple months apart.
2
SPEAKER_01
So they got to be together.
2
SPEAKER_00
They got to be together.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it was nice because she was such a great, she s such a great role model.
2
SPEAKER_00
She s a very hard worker.
2
SPEAKER_00
She s a very good mom.
2
SPEAKER_00
She gave me so much guidance.
3
SPEAKER_01
not one to ask for help very much, but getting advice from people can really just be so helpful.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s beautiful.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Was she there the whole time filming as well?
3
SPEAKER_01
Pretty much.
3
SPEAKER_01
Almost.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think the last season of my show she was done, but she was pretty much, because her show went like 11 seasons.
3
SPEAKER_00
She s getting those royalties.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was going to say, the dramas tend to go longer when they re... Wow.
3
SPEAKER_00
So what was it like growing up with an older sister who was also in the industry, parents in the industry?
3
SPEAKER_00
What did she teach you that really helped you in your career?
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, I actually started before her, even though she s older than me.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, she wanted to do it at the same time, but she went to theater school in Boston, and I was here in L.A.
3
SPEAKER_01
in high school, and I was like, I had the hustle in me, and I was like, I have to do this.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so I started auditioning when I was like 16, but she was in college, and not what was just focused on her studies.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, she was studying acting, or theater,
3
SPEAKER_01
and acting, but... She wasn t trying to book gigs.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, I was trying to book gigs.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, in high school.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know... It s crazy to me now to think... My mom had this thing, because from the time I was little, I was like, I have to do this, and she s like, okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
Then my parents made a deal with me, because they were like, we know a lot of child actors, and we re not cool with that.
3
SPEAKER_01
Don t turn out well.
3
SPEAKER_01
Just because it s a lot, and you have to have a special temperament, which they were like, you don t have.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um...
3
SPEAKER_01
Like child actors that are really good, you have to be okay doing something over and over again.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s a different skill than being a grown-up actor, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
So they re like, once you can drive yourself to auditions…
3
SPEAKER_01
you can, you can, um, you can get an agent.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so basically when I was like 16, I was like, I wasn t out.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, still living with my parents.
3
SPEAKER_01
So my mom, like as an actor, my dad, like as a cinematographer and a director.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I had like a lot of, I mean, I can t, we can t like, I can t,
3
SPEAKER_01
possibly emphasize enough how much creative help I had from my family unit.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s funny, because people will be like, oh, nepotism.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m like, no, my dad s a DP.
3
SPEAKER_01
No one s getting jobs because their dad s a DP.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s definitely not.
3
SPEAKER_01
But my dad is a great creative mind.
3
SPEAKER_01
such a talented person, so incredible, knows everything about film.
3
SPEAKER_01
My mom is a great actor and is so nurturing.
3
SPEAKER_01
My mom would coach me when I didn t have an acting coach.
3
SPEAKER_01
She would coach me, she would help me, read lines with me, she d be so supportive.
3
SPEAKER_01
My dad, I would have so many great discussions about film and filmmaking with my dad.
3
SPEAKER_01
They both would help me so much.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, my dad would also read lines with me and give me great direction.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then having a sister who s an actor, it makes you just automatically have a community.
3
SPEAKER_01
And how much our communities help us, whether it is our family or whether it s our found communities, our found families.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s so important to, you know, keeping going, because this is a business, like the one I m in, it s easy to want to just go away, because it can be like, ugh.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, you just have to not go away.
3
SPEAKER_01
You have to just keep sticking it out, because you can have long periods of time.
3
SPEAKER_01
I remember, like, I quit college to do the movie Almost Famous, and I mean, it was my first year of college.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I basically was supposed to just come home and do the movie and go back.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then I just made this weird decision to ship all my stuff home from Chicago.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was going to Northwestern.
3
SPEAKER_01
I just was like, I m just going to ship all my stuff home.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I shipped all my stuff home.
3
SPEAKER_01
I do that movie.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then I got no work for a year.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was just like, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, what do I do?
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, because you could have a year where you don t work.
3
SPEAKER_01
Or even like last year, we re all like on strike.
3
SPEAKER_01
You could have a terrible year where you don t work, or the pandemic, or all kinds of things.
3
SPEAKER_01
And you just have to be like, no, I like this enough.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m just going to just hope next year, yeah, keep doing it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Did you ever have a time where you thought, oh, maybe I won t get booked again?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, like after I had kids, you know.
3
SPEAKER_01
Really?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I mean.
3
SPEAKER_00
But you re on a star show, and you re crushing it, and you re, you know, ratings.
3
SPEAKER_01
You still have those feelings.
3
SPEAKER_01
Really?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I thought, not that I wouldn t get booked again, but it does feel...
3
SPEAKER_01
It is... I will say, actually, it s not just about kids, but when you re on a show that everyone knows, like, you know, for a long time, and that s what people know you as, and it goes away... It s hard to get booked again sometimes.
3
SPEAKER_01
It is, because people think of you as that, and I think, especially, like, me in particular, like, my feasts and, like, who I am was very much associated with that brand, and...
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you get a little nervous.
3
SPEAKER_01
Who am I now?
3
SPEAKER_01
There s a short film by Jonathan Demme with Susan Sarandon and Christopher Walken called Who Am I This Time?
3
SPEAKER_01
It s about actors.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I always like the title.
3
SPEAKER_01
It will ring in my head.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s like, who am I this time?
3
SPEAKER_01
But it is scary to go, well, that character s behind me.
3
SPEAKER_01
I can t just be that character again.
3
SPEAKER_01
I have to find new characters.
3
SPEAKER_01
And it s like, well, who am I now?
3
SPEAKER_00
So after New Girl ended, was it a challenging time for you?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s hard.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, also, that was my family, you know, like... So you were seeing each other every day for eight years.
3
SPEAKER_01
Every day.
3
SPEAKER_01
For eight years, and... And then you all separate.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and we d, like, these inside jokes, and we d, like, make each other laugh every day, and we had, like, our rapport, and...
3
SPEAKER_01
I miss that you know you it s weird to go from that to like like seeing them you know it s not like we can there s we ll never again see all those people every day you know it s kind of like graduating from high school and moving off yeah like you re with your family every day and all of a sudden you re not like
3
SPEAKER_00
And everyone moves on to different relationships and jobs and opportunities.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and even if you go back and you re like with your family a lot, your friends from high school, they all scatter around the country.
3
SPEAKER_01
It is a huge transition.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s a long time to spend with people.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s a long time.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s longer than high school.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it s like a long time.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s a decade.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know, it s interesting because I used to work out with one of your co-stars with Max.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, nice.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he loves to work out.
3
SPEAKER_00
CrossFit.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was just in CrossFit classes with him when I moved here to LA.
3
SPEAKER_00
And this was kind of like, I guess, you know, maybe the height of the show or the first few seasons.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I knew who he was and we were always like kind of competing against each other.
3
SPEAKER_00
And one time we were like just chatting after a workout class and we were like, hey, you want to grab a smoothie and just catch up?
3
SPEAKER_00
And I was just like,
3
SPEAKER_00
I didn t even know his story, but I was like, how long have you been out here?
3
SPEAKER_00
And he s like, I ve been in LA for a long time.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I ve been essentially for 10 years, busting my butt every year, feeling like I m not going to make it.
3
SPEAKER_00
getting a little job here and there that would keep me in the industry until New Girl showed up.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he worked so hard.
3
SPEAKER_01
Max is an example of a person who everyone knew was so talented, but just hadn t had the right break for him.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know what we were talking about earlier?
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah, sometimes you re great, but you re not right for that part.
3
SPEAKER_01
He just hadn t had that part.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was like Schmidt was perfect.
3
SPEAKER_00
He was perfect for that.
3
SPEAKER_01
he was probably like the easiest casting we did.
3
SPEAKER_00
Really?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, he and Jake Johnson were the first two people other than me that were cast.
3
SPEAKER_01
I read with everybody, pretty much like everybody that was coming in a second time.
3
SPEAKER_01
I went and I said right away, as soon as I was cast, I said, I want to read with everybody because I want to see how they are with me, not just like how they are just generally.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s like how how do we play off of each other?
3
SPEAKER_01
Like and I also wanted to be there to make
3
SPEAKER_01
people feel comfortable because I know how hard it is when like you walk in a room it can be so intimidating and I m like I can be the person to go like it s okay you know like let s have fun yeah let s have fun so I just kind of wanted to be there to like make everybody feel comfortable and what was that like reading with both those guys did you know right away like oh these these gotta be the guys
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I mean, Max was pretty obvious and Jake, they both were pretty obvious.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, Max was just like, had that, it was like, and again, I think all that stuff had like, and Jake was similar, like where he had been kind of toiling away for a while and hadn t quite hit the right part.
4
SPEAKER_01
But he, you know what, the thing about Jake, what he did was, Max just like was Schmidt and like figured out how to play that part like guns blazing.
4
SPEAKER_01
Jake played, a lot of people played at the Nick character, like little bits, like kind of more, like there were lots of, pretty much everybody that I read with was good.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, it wasn t like, there were no bad actors I read with.
4
SPEAKER_01
They were all great because they were being called back.
4
SPEAKER_01
But what Jake had was like, he was,
4
SPEAKER_01
He was like, he made it all feel natural, real.
4
SPEAKER_01
It wasn t like he was playing at it, like he was playing at jokes.
4
SPEAKER_01
He was playing it like he was it.
4
SPEAKER_00
He was being it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, which is the difference to me between something really succeeding and then just something being kind of like, not bad, you know?
4
SPEAKER_00
That was a good job, but it wasn t like it.
4
SPEAKER_01
He got the character in a way that he was real.
4
SPEAKER_00
We were talking right before we started about being original and kind of leaning into your uniqueness.
4
SPEAKER_00
You also mentioned, and you ve talked about this before, kind of growing up ADHD and feeling, I guess, maybe not accepted in certain moments or feeling shut down or feeling like people needed to put you in a box or whatever it might be.
4
SPEAKER_00
I grew up, you know, very dyslexic and still struggle reading and writing today.
4
SPEAKER_00
And you were saying beforehand about how
4
SPEAKER_00
If you can learn to be original with the, I guess, difficulty you have or the challenge you re facing with, that can be a beautiful asset to yours later in life.
4
SPEAKER_00
How did you learn to be original with your unique gifts or challenges and not let them hold you back but allow you to blossom?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I think that was, like, the journey of my school years, was learning to be myself, like, and I ve always been a pretty... I always thought, like, I m... I always felt like I was normal, but then everybody else would be like, you re not.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I think being, like, being my authentic self, but still, you know,
4
SPEAKER_01
Thriving within a system, that was the journey of my schooling years.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I think when I was really young, my big challenge was that
4
SPEAKER_01
Again, I think I mentioned I m a very direct person.
4
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And so as a kid, I didn t know like kids are supposed to be like quiet.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I would just be like, I don t like that.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, like, I mean, like a little kid, you know, I didn t know.
4
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I m like, that s just how I felt.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I didn t know you weren t supposed to say that.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I m not sure exactly how that came about in my personality, but just kind of like how I am saying something like that to a teacher, not the
4
SPEAKER_01
best idea, but like learning how to, you know, be in a system, navigate the system, be a good student.
4
SPEAKER_01
By the time I graduated high school, actually by the time our records counted, I was like the best student.
4
SPEAKER_01
It was so funny because I went from being like this like little misfit, wild, like in the principal s office every day about elementary school,
4
SPEAKER_01
um got diagnosed with adhd when like no like very few girls were because i wasn t like crazy hyperactive i was just like
4
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Distracted.
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SPEAKER_01
I was very distracted.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was very distracting.
4
SPEAKER_01
I would talk to my neighbors.
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I would chit-chatter.
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SPEAKER_00
At school, at the desk, yeah, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
I d make jokes out loud.
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SPEAKER_01
I have a very loud voice.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I d do all kinds of stuff you re not supposed to do.
4
SPEAKER_01
Sure.
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SPEAKER_01
But by the time I was in eighth grade, I was like, I want to be a good student.
4
SPEAKER_01
I want to thrive in this system.
4
SPEAKER_01
How can I do that?
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SPEAKER_01
And then I started seeking out answers.
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And I remember my mom being like, well,
4
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Like, you know, like maybe just listen sometimes and just talk like right away.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, you know, like, okay, that s good advice.
4
SPEAKER_01
Maybe like if you want to make more friends, like ask people about themselves.
4
SPEAKER_01
Don t just talk about yourself.
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SPEAKER_01
Like those things that I didn t know naturally, those were things I had to learn.
4
SPEAKER_01
It wasn t like, I know, like, I m kind of outgoing naturally, but like,
4
SPEAKER_01
I didn t have like every social skill just like sure automatically so there were a lot of things that I I learned and really you know helped me thrive and then
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SPEAKER_01
I wanted to be a good student, so I actually spent pretty much all my time in high school studying.
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I was like, I want to be a good student.
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SPEAKER_01
I know some people do it naturally and just don t have to study and they can just waltz in.
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But I know I learned, that s not me, I have to study, I have to work hard.
4
SPEAKER_01
what s important to me, theater and academics, and I m just going to focus on those things.
4
SPEAKER_01
And knowing that I can t just do all that and party and have a crazy social life, I realized that focusing on those things, because that s what was important to me.
4
SPEAKER_01
that I was able to achieve those things because I really put my laser focus on it.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then by the end of high school, I graduated with honors.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, I was like... Crushed it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, exactly.
4
SPEAKER_01
I got, you know, it was like, I got a really good SAT score, like all this stuff, but it was only because I studied and I worked really hard, not because I just like... I think a lot of people want you to think they re just like naturally gifted and maybe some, you know, there are people who are, but... That wasn t you.
4
SPEAKER_01
Not me.
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I had to work hard.
4
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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But I realized how much applying myself, how rewarding that was.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it probably set you up for success with your acting career as well because you were really preparing for all the roles that you did.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_01
And that s what I try to impart on my children.
4
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I think I was telling you that my daughter was in a play and I told her, we ve got to go over your lines every day.
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And then one day she was like, well, I don t want to.
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I was like, well, then maybe you don t want those lines.
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And then she s like, no, no, I do.
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So we like really, you know, I think if I impart anything to them, it s that just like working hard, it s not a, it s not a burden.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s like a privilege.
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SPEAKER_01
Like if you have that, like if you have the, you know, the inspiration to work hard, that means you really like something.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
It seems to me I was talking with a, um,
4
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Dr. Becky, who s a big parenting expert.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I follow her on Instagram.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I just had her on last week.
4
SPEAKER_00
And she was saying that one of the biggest challenges with parenting and kids today is the lack of
4
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hard work in kids.
4
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Kind of parents trying to rescue the kids a lot and make it easier so they re less complaining or less having fits and just happy all the time.
4
SPEAKER_00
And she was saying how that s one of the biggest challenges for kids to develop strong character in themselves, strong self-confidence by going through adversity and putting them in more adversity.
4
SPEAKER_00
But it sounds like that s something you like to do as well, is make sure that they re instilled in hard work and discipline.
4
SPEAKER_00
Why do you think so many parents today struggle with that?
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, I think it s like not about, it s funny, you say discipline and I m like- Not discipline, but just instill the hard work.
4
SPEAKER_01
No, no, it s the right word.
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SPEAKER_01
I think people associate it with the wrong things.
4
SPEAKER_01
Discipline means teaching, right?
4
SPEAKER_01
But people go, oh, discipline, they think it s like hard and like, it s like, no, it s really like, it s really about,
4
SPEAKER_01
It s about feeling inspired to do something and that, you know, we know we have a practice where we do something every day, even if it s not, you know, even if it s not like the most fun thing, but we leave 20 minutes for it or whatever, even five minutes, like leaving that time to devote to something.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I think it s more about like those practices and yeah, and not shying away from having a hard time.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like not everything is going to be easy all the time.
4
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And I can tell you like, you know, we all have our challenges and that those challenges like to make us who we are.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I do think like that the hardest things I went through definitely
4
SPEAKER_01
Helped me so much.
4
SPEAKER_00
Really?
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh my gosh What was what was the in your mind one of the most challenging things you had to overcome that supported you the most later in life?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, like oh like I would say like I mean look it s funny because they were like I I
4
SPEAKER_01
I said it like a long time ago and then sometimes people like make funny when you say like oh like I I had a lot of people be very mean to me like in seventh grade it was very hard right look I I know that happens to everybody and I m not saying like oh I m a victim I m not I only say it because it was it was painful to me at the time I was upset a lot and but but
4
SPEAKER_01
But the reason why I tell the story, it s not to say I m a victim, it s only to say that even things that are painful, like I learned a lot.
5
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Like I learned to like laugh about things like that having a sense of humor about things having perspective on it going well This is bad now, but think about how it s gonna be next week.
5
SPEAKER_00
Maybe it s gonna be better next week or like Back then well, I started to learn it.
5
SPEAKER_00
It was like you re getting little bits of it, you know like now I have that life philosophy, but it was like over years that you kind of
5
SPEAKER_00
you know develop that knowledge that you go okay well like seventh grade was horrible but eighth grade was better but it was partially because i invested that time into it and i didn t want it to be so bad and i realized like i think
5
SPEAKER_00
I think the important thing, and probably what you re talking about, Dr. Becky, saying that when it s not the parent going in and swooping in and saving somebody, when it s the parent giving advice to a child or an adolescent and saying, well, if I were you, I d do this.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then the kid figuring it out on their own and then going, you know, that really helped.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then them being empowered to like,
5
SPEAKER_00
get through something themselves, that gives you confidence, that helps your self-esteem, all those things are positive things.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
How have you learned?
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, there s a lot of people that are watching this and who are successful entrepreneurs, or they re launching businesses, and they re very driven individuals who also want to better themselves.
5
SPEAKER_01
And there s a lot of women that watch and listen who also want to be driven and successful in their careers and want to be moms.
5
SPEAKER_01
But sometimes they feel like, how can I be really successful and competitive in my career, but also raise good kids and show up and be a great mom and not have mom guilt if I have to go and pursue my dream at the same time.
5
SPEAKER_01
So it s like,
5
SPEAKER_01
Teaching through example to live your dreams, but maybe you won t be there all the time for your kids, or certain times you won t be able to be there.
5
SPEAKER_01
How did you learn to navigate that when your career was just booming with these eight years, and not have the mom guild, but also be willing to pursue your dream?
5
SPEAKER_01
It s a dance.
5
SPEAKER_01
How did you navigate that?
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, when I was on New Girl, I was taking my kids with me pretty much every day to work.
5
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And they had their own little play area and stuff.
5
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So that was really helpful.
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I felt supported.
5
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My sister had done it similarly.
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So I saw it.
5
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I was like, OK, this is.
5
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And I remember asking,
5
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my agents to, if they could connect me with some other actresses who had done that, you know.
5
SPEAKER_00
And so that was really helpful to me to be able to like have that kind of role modeling and advice.
5
SPEAKER_00
Again, I just, I don t think our world is necessarily set up for working moms.
5
SPEAKER_00
Unfortunately, although, and so you kind of have to fight a little bit for it.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think, yeah, I mean, you have to like, you have to say like, well, I need to, you have to set your boundaries, like, understand like what, what s important to your kids, right?
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, if it s important to them,
5
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to show up at their sporting events or their school plays or whatever.
5
SPEAKER_00
You try to do that as much as you can.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then if you can t one time, it s okay.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, look, the way that I work, I, like, all have to, like, go away for a certain period of time sometimes or, you know, be working really hard and I don t always have control over my schedule.
5
SPEAKER_00
But that, that s why, like, when I m home,
5
SPEAKER_00
I pick, I drop my kids off at school, I pick them up from school, I take them to their dance classes and their theater classes and all the things that they do and I go to their performances and I go to the meetings at school and I m like there all the time.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean I try to because my work is concentrated, right?
5
SPEAKER_00
So I have like
5
SPEAKER_00
these periods of time where I I can t be there as much so I try to when I can be there as I can t tell you how many times if you ask my like Managers or agents or publicist when they call me I make in the car.
5
SPEAKER_00
My kids are going like mommy
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SPEAKER_00
You know like in the backseat because that s like I m just there all the time.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m like, you know watching, you know classes and they You know, I like my the thing I wanted to for my birthday was like sit and watch musicals with my kids like I you know and Jonathan like I
5
SPEAKER_00
I love spending time with them.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I try to just as much as possible be there when I can.
5
SPEAKER_00
And they know that I work, and they know they re proud of me.
5
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s beautiful.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I try to be, and I m very involved in their school, and I like to be there whenever I can.
5
SPEAKER_00
And so I think that s how I do it.
5
SPEAKER_00
I just try to as much as possible be immersed
5
SPEAKER_00
That s beautiful.
5
SPEAKER_00
But, you know, we can t always be there.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, of course.
5
SPEAKER_01
But you re such an inspiration for so many moms who also want to live their dreams and not feel like they can t do both at the same time.
5
SPEAKER_00
It is hard.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it is hard.
5
SPEAKER_00
You just have to, like... It does become like Tetris in your mind.
5
SPEAKER_00
Right, navigating the schedules.
5
SPEAKER_00
How can I be here and there at the same time, right?
5
SPEAKER_01
Sure.
5
SPEAKER_01
This is a question I ask a lot of people that I m curious your response.
5
SPEAKER_01
Before you... I guess it might be hard for me to ask this question because your career has kind of always been growing and taking off since you were a teenager.
5
SPEAKER_01
You ve had a lot of opportunities early on.
5
SPEAKER_01
But can you remember the TV show or the movie that really kind of took your career to the next level?
5
SPEAKER_01
Can you remember what time that was or maybe the...
5
SPEAKER_00
It s always been like little, I always felt like it was just little steps, like I m always just like stepping, stepping.
5
SPEAKER_00
I definitely think like when I did New Girl, that was like a big thing because all this, I had never been like marketed on that level.
5
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_00
So it was like another level.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean I was 30 or something when we started.
5
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
5
SPEAKER_00
So it wasn t like I was, I wasn t like, you know, a baby.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was a full grown adult.
5
SPEAKER_01
And you ve done a ton of projects already.
5
SPEAKER_00
I ve done a ton of stuff.
5
SPEAKER_00
But when I did that show, my face was on the side of this building that was down the street from my house at the time.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I remember driving.
5
SPEAKER_00
It was on Highland in Hollywood.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I was driving to New Girl.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I see the face.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s my body and it says, simply adorkable.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, oh my god, this is like crazy.
5
SPEAKER_00
And this guy comes up, sees me in my car.
5
SPEAKER_00
I didn t have tinted windows or anything.
5
SPEAKER_00
I just had a Prius or something.
5
SPEAKER_00
And this guy sees me in the car, and he comes running across Highland.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then he just starts pounding on my window, going, hey!
5
Hey!
5
SPEAKER_00
And pointing at the thing and I was like, ah, I remember I was like stuck in traffic like Highland like Highland is always like blocked and I was like, ah And I like I I was like, I gotta go hate this guy s like pounding on my window but I remember being like that s a different level of marketing than I have experienced before cuz I was like, you know, I I did like 500 days of summer like I was on a bunch of posters and it was it
5
SPEAKER_00
It was a different thing, though.
5
SPEAKER_00
It was funny, because it was like, I wasn t the lead character, though.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was more like the object in that.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I was on some big billboards for that.
5
SPEAKER_00
But when you re on a billboard, it feels, it s like a weird, surreal thing, because it seems like it s so physical.
5
SPEAKER_00
But there s like billboards, and then this was a building.
5
SPEAKER_00
This was like a building, and it was at the bottom of my hill, basically, at the time.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s crazy.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so it was crazy.
5
SPEAKER_01
How did you learn to, I guess, navigate fame on that level?
5
SPEAKER_00
That was really hard, actually.
5
SPEAKER_01
Really?
5
SPEAKER_00
I really wasn t prepared for it.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I felt very, like, shy.
5
SPEAKER_00
And, like, I wanted to just go, like, I would, like, because I love being, like, on stage and people look, you know, and they clap.
5
SPEAKER_00
A lot of you.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I love that feeling.
5
SPEAKER_00
And that s obviously, like, every actor, you know, performer, singer, like, loves that.
5
SPEAKER_00
But the people running up and crowding you, that was something I had to like...
5
SPEAKER_00
nobody gives you any playbook for that.
5
SPEAKER_00
I didn t have a playbook.
5
SPEAKER_00
I would just like run away.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like I didn t know what to do.
5
SPEAKER_00
And so like, I m sure I made a lot of mistakes, but, um, like I think at a certain point I realized it s like, okay, I made this decision to be an actor on television.
5
SPEAKER_00
And of course these people, you know, that means they like the show and like,
5
SPEAKER_00
like be as gracious as you can you don t want to get stuck in a dangerous situation but i think like having a little bit like some of those like meditative practices um taking a deep breath and just really because it s scary when people i think the same thing i had this thing
6
SPEAKER_01
And I think
6
SPEAKER_01
Getting over that like was a That was like a that was like an aha moment like oh my gosh This reminds me of when I was a kid Kind of bullish to me like I triggered your emotion It would trigger me emotionally and and I was scared like I feel like I want to get out, you know Wow
6
SPEAKER_01
um but but like now i i don t see it that way at all i feel like oh my gosh it s so nice picture come up and say hello it s like as long as my kids feel safe right right you know people are respectful yeah yeah it s like different thing where were you on that scale of self-love before that show took off and then
6
SPEAKER_00
after the show took off?
6
SPEAKER_01
I would like actually it was it was funny because um I would always joke about like ego fluctuation not like I had I mean I was like I always like had like a very strong sense of self that I know is me you know it s like this is me I know it s me you know but when you re that famous now there s a different level of but but but I would definitely but then there s this like there s this like
6
SPEAKER_01
shift, like when you get a perspective shift, right?
6
SPEAKER_01
Where all of a sudden you re like, woo, like you were like micro and then macro.
6
SPEAKER_01
Those perspective shifts can really throw off your feelings.
6
SPEAKER_01
I wouldn t say, I always loved, like, sounds funny to me, like, I always loved myself.
6
SPEAKER_01
I always felt like a good amount of self, like believing in myself and that kind of, I guess, self-love.
6
SPEAKER_00
So on that scale, where were you before the show?
6
SPEAKER_01
I mean,
6
SPEAKER_01
I knew myself, and I m still always learning about myself, but also then afterwards, I mean, again, you re thrown off by the shifts, but I still knew who I was.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s great.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s hard, I think sometimes when, like if somebody misunderstands me, that s the hardest thing.
6
SPEAKER_01
And that will throw me into a little bit of like spirally stuff.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like if somebody really misunderstands something I do, that feels really bad to me.
6
SPEAKER_01
I would say that s the hardest thing.
6
SPEAKER_00
The reason I ask this question is because so many people I ask this to, before they kind of have a rise in success or money or fame,
6
SPEAKER_00
I asked them this question and a lot of people are always higher on the self-love scale before they take off in their career or business or following or whatever.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then it drops a little bit afterwards.
6
SPEAKER_00
But it sounds like you had a really good sense of self-identity.
6
SPEAKER_01
I have a good sense of self-identity.
6
SPEAKER_01
If nothing else.
6
SPEAKER_00
You are who you are.
6
SPEAKER_01
I know who I am who I am.
6
Wow.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m very much like who I am.
6
SPEAKER_01
I like had this, I like made, I like, from the time I was little, little.
6
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
6
SPEAKER_00
But how did you learn to accept yourself when others were making fun of you?
6
SPEAKER_01
Ooh, it was hard.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s hard.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like how did you learn not to adapt and change so others could like you?
6
SPEAKER_01
That s a really great question.
6
SPEAKER_00
And just stay the unique, original person that you are?
6
SPEAKER_01
Well, I think that was like my, the struggle of my adolescence, like was like being like,
6
SPEAKER_01
You know, and I did kind of like retreat a little bit into myself, really like was trying.
6
SPEAKER_01
to like follow what other people wanted for a long time.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then I do think through acting actually, through being a performer and it was like I ended up with the most success when I was like embracing who I am.
6
SPEAKER_01
And so I think that kind of came early on.
6
SPEAKER_01
So I knew that.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like I m like, oh, when I let go and I m not just going, will they like me if I do that?
6
SPEAKER_01
You know, when I kind of
6
SPEAKER_01
and myself, I am successful.
6
SPEAKER_01
More successful than being, especially as an actor, you kind of have to be a little bit uninhibited.
6
SPEAKER_00
Sure, sure.
6
SPEAKER_00
So when you are yourself, you are successful.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
And you re constantly working.
6
SPEAKER_01
I associate it with success, I guess.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s beautiful.
6
SPEAKER_00
Even though if you re playing another character, you re still being yourself.
6
SPEAKER_01
You re still yourself in that character.
6
SPEAKER_01
I mean, like, I know there are actors that, like, totally lose themselves, but I m sorry, like, even the best actors, you re still like, I m not going, I don t recognize Meryl Streep.
6
SPEAKER_01
She s the greatest actor in the world, probably, but I still know it s her.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, of course.
6
SPEAKER_01
She s still, like, you know, and she can do incredible
6
SPEAKER_01
you know, transformations, but still, I know it s her.
6
SPEAKER_01
There s still that person in there.
6
SPEAKER_01
And there s a reason why we like, there s some essence that stays.
6
SPEAKER_01
So we have to at least, and then every actor is different.
6
SPEAKER_01
There s some actors that don t go too far from who they are, but we still love watching them.
6
SPEAKER_01
You know, we still love, they re still great actors.
6
SPEAKER_01
They re just, they re not as transformative as, you know, some others.
6
SPEAKER_00
Where are you at in this season of your life?
6
SPEAKER_00
What s the vision you have now after 20 plus years of a lot of success and a lot of different genres?
6
SPEAKER_00
What are you excited about creating and developing moving forward, personally, professionally?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I still love acting and I still love doing music.
6
SPEAKER_01
I still love doing all the same stuff I liked when I was a kid.
6
SPEAKER_01
I still get excited about it.
6
SPEAKER_01
I still love doing that.
6
SPEAKER_01
I always think of being an actor as like you re a filmmaker.
6
SPEAKER_01
We re just focused on a more micro thing, but we re there to help get this made.
6
SPEAKER_01
And again, I think I talked about value add before, but am I a value add?
6
SPEAKER_01
How can I be the most value add?
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So it s my job to be on the film set helping the film get made however that is.
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So it s kind of like...
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That s fun for me.
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I enjoy that work.
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I still really love it and enjoy it, even though I m a parent now and I have a wonderful relationship now and all kinds of things going on that are different than different phases of my life, but I still love doing it.
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It s still fun.
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This is a question I ask everyone at the end called the three truths.
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So imagine a hypothetical scenario.
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You get to live as long as you want to live in this world, but it s your last day.
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Many years away from here, it s your last day.
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And you get to create everything you want to create from this moment moving forward till that last day.
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But for whatever reason in this hypothetical scenario, you have to take all of your work with you.
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Everything you ve ever created, projects you ve been a part of, this conversation, anything, your music, for whatever reason, we no longer have access to it in this world.
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But on this last day of life, you get to leave behind three lessons.
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Three things you know to be true about your life, experiences that you would wanna leave behind.
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What would be those three lessons or three truths that you would share with people?
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If we didn t have anything else to be remembered by you.
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Okay, yes.
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I think
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being able to shift your perspective is one of the greatest strengths you can possibly have and it s something you can practice.
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That if you re not having fun in your work, you re doing the wrong thing.
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And that you should always try to be 100% yourself.
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Mm, those are good.
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Thank you.
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I like those.
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I like those.
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Be yourself, be original.
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Yeah, be original.
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I love that.
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I want to acknowledge you, Zoe, for how you ve been so consistent in your life and in your career and how you ve been original.
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You ve had a lot of fun.
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Like everything that I feel like I ve seen you in and other people have seen you in, you have a lot of fun.
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Yes, I do.
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And you bring out joy, laughter, love.
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and a range of emotions for people when they experience your art.
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Oh, thank you.
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So I want to acknowledge you for being a great artist, constantly evolving as an artist, showing up and adding value, not just trying to take from every situation, showing up, loving yourself fully, and also contributing to others around you, and just really showing up with a beautiful heart.
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So I want to acknowledge you for... That s so sweet.
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Of course.
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Yeah, I want to acknowledge you for all that.
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Obviously, I don t know you that well, but from what I ve...
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witness of you and the work that you ve created.
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You bring a lot of love and joy.
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That s really nice.
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Thank you so much.
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I took that in.
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Good, good.
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I m glad you did.
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Final question.
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Zoe, what is your definition of greatness?
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Definition of greatness.
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I actually think, I mean, I think when you can
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and be humble and recognize the things that you don t know and where you can learn and how you can be better.
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For me, that s like a state of greatness because you aren t, you re not saying I m done here, you re saying I m still, I m just getting started, I m still working on it, I have many places I wanna go, and of course I don t know everything, who could?
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I hope today s episode inspired you on your journey towards greatness.
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Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a rundown of today s show with all the important links.
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And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me as well as add free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our greatness plus channel on Apple podcast.
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Leave us a review over on Apple podcast and let me know what you learned over on our social media channels at Lewis Howes.
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I really love hearing the feedback from you and it helps us continue to make the show better.
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And if you want more inspiration from our world-class guests and content to learn how to improve the quality of your life, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness Newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter.
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And if no one has told you today, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter.
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And now it s time to go out there and do something great.