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Yeah, if anything happens to you- It s split between Sandler gets the most, because he needs it.
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I give it to Rob Schneider too.
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Dana, we ve got a good friend of mine, Nikki Glaser, today, and she is someone that I ve known for a while now.
0
SPEAKER_02
Always a good laugher, always very generous with compliments.
0
SPEAKER_02
She s super fun and funny and loves you.
0
SPEAKER_02
And we ve had dinner with her once or twice, all of us together.
0
SPEAKER_02
I think during COVID we did also.
0
SPEAKER_02
And she and I do Las Vegas together, the Venetian, I think we re there again this weekend.
0
SPEAKER_02
But she s a sweetheart and we got to cover, of course, the roast.
0
SPEAKER_03
We do a lot of roast stuff.
0
SPEAKER_03
She s so easy to talk to and incredibly honest, but it never has any teeth to it.
0
SPEAKER_03
There s a sweetness to her and she s fun to talk to.
0
SPEAKER_03
And we talked all about her beginnings and the psychology of trying to be a standup.
0
SPEAKER_03
And then of course, a lot about the roast that is still matriculating around the culture.
0
SPEAKER_03
They don t do them that often.
0
SPEAKER_03
This one was considered the great, called the greatest roast of all time.
0
SPEAKER_03
It s smarter than to call it that, because then if you go, hey, do you see the greatest rose of all time?
0
SPEAKER_03
They go, oh, was it?
0
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_03
And then the next one would be the real greatest rose of all time.
0
SPEAKER_03
But that was a big thing, and she absolutely destroyed, got the first standing ovation in the room, and wrote some brilliant jokes, and she s...
0
SPEAKER_03
walks us through that.
0
SPEAKER_03
We talk about the nerves and what jokes to use.
0
SPEAKER_03
Anyway, so it went by fast.
0
SPEAKER_03
David said, this will be an easy one.
0
SPEAKER_03
And he was right, because she had a lot to say, and she s very open and honest.
0
SPEAKER_03
I would listen to it if I was someone right now and they re doing something.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_02
If you like Nikki there, she s also got an HBO special coming out.
0
SPEAKER_02
HBO specials are kind of... That was my first one was HBO.
0
SPEAKER_02
Great place.
0
SPEAKER_02
I think it s out now.
0
SPEAKER_03
It s kind of a prestige thing.
0
SPEAKER_03
HBO is a little more exclusive.
0
SPEAKER_03
Netflix is obviously the kingpin, but HBO is still, it s a very...
0
SPEAKER_03
They don t just throw those at anybody.
0
SPEAKER_03
No.
0
SPEAKER_03
And someday you will be dead is kind of about her jealousy of other women.
0
SPEAKER_03
So, yeah, she s everywhere now and she s she s trending, as they say.
0
SPEAKER_03
She s very open, very honest.
0
SPEAKER_01
She joins us today.
0
SPEAKER_01
Young lady who s out there and she
0
SPEAKER_01
He works with David Spade in Las Vegas at the Venetian.
0
SPEAKER_01
They re going to be there May 5th, December 7th.
0
SPEAKER_01
Johnny would do that.
0
SPEAKER_01
And let s please welcome Nikki Glaser.
0
SPEAKER_03
What s the state tax?
0
SPEAKER_04
Are you taxed in your native state?
0
SPEAKER_04
I would never know that.
0
SPEAKER_04
I live I live in Missouri and I rent an apartment and I don t own a home.
0
SPEAKER_04
I don t own a car.
0
SPEAKER_04
I don t have kids, but I do spend a lot of money to see Taylor Swift and stuff like that.
0
SPEAKER_04
And I eat out for every meal.
0
SPEAKER_04
You don t have a car.
0
SPEAKER_03
So you just Uber everywhere.
0
SPEAKER_04
I have my I bought my mom a car and then I took her car.
0
SPEAKER_04
And so I m driving my mom s car.
0
SPEAKER_04
I paid for it.
0
SPEAKER_02
That s a great present.
0
SPEAKER_02
Just keep taking it back.
0
SPEAKER_03
How are your parents?
0
SPEAKER_01
No, my mom s old car.
0
SPEAKER_03
Oh, how are your parents handling having a famous daughter who s really successful?
0
SPEAKER_03
How are they?
0
SPEAKER_03
Oh, they love that.
0
SPEAKER_03
They re famous, Dana.
0
SPEAKER_03
She s there on her Instagram.
0
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_03
My parents, there were five kids.
0
SPEAKER_03
And so
0
SPEAKER_03
tons of pictures on the refrigerator.
0
SPEAKER_03
And then as I got more and more successful, eventually it was just all me.
0
SPEAKER_03
And I said, mom, what are you doing?
0
SPEAKER_03
So did she have ambitions or did your mom or dad to be in theater arts?
0
SPEAKER_04
Um, my dad is a musician and plays around St.
0
SPEAKER_04
Louis in, um, grocery stores and different like, uh, bars.
0
SPEAKER_02
Don t lowball him like that.
0
SPEAKER_04
I know he feels, he hates when I start with grocery stores, but he mainly is grocery.
0
SPEAKER_04
But he s a great musician.
0
SPEAKER_04
He just wanted a family and safety, so he chose a career in cable, which was safe for many years until he got out, right after he got out.
0
SPEAKER_04
He took the safe route and then he really believed in me and always supported me.
0
SPEAKER_04
I knew when I first started, it was going to take, I said eight years before I wouldn t depend on them to help me out a little bit here and there.
0
SPEAKER_04
And it was like eight years on the day where I didn t need them anymore, where I got that first check that kind of made it so they weren t covering my overdraft fees.
0
SPEAKER_03
Parents normally warn, but in your own mind, and I can talk for David or me, it didn t seem like a risk.
0
SPEAKER_03
I was like, well, I m just going to try this.
0
SPEAKER_03
I mean, were you ever like, oh, I don t know, maybe I should have a plan B?
0
SPEAKER_03
No.
0
SPEAKER_04
No, my plan B was like kill myself someday.
0
SPEAKER_04
I mean, honestly, like that was kind of like, I was like, I guess I ll just, I don t know what I ll do if I don t find an in some way, because I tried all the other ends.
0
SPEAKER_04
I tried acting, I tried singing, and no one cared to hear any more of that.
0
SPEAKER_04
And I mean, I wanted to go to theater school and be like an actress, and then I couldn t even get booked like in my high school play.
0
SPEAKER_04
I was always like, you know, in the diary of Anne Frank, I was Jewish townsperson B, and that was my senior year of like, this is going to be my role.
0
SPEAKER_04
And so I was getting all the feedback that I did not have it.
0
SPEAKER_03
Frank, that s not the way to be.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that s her plan B was just a pill plan B. That was.
0
SPEAKER_02
That s the only plan B we ve heard of.
0
SPEAKER_04
Did you guys have a plan B?
0
SPEAKER_04
I think that s part of why I was successful.
0
SPEAKER_04
There was just no chance that it wasn t going to happen.
0
SPEAKER_04
Maybe I let that thought in for 20 minutes of my whole time struggling.
0
SPEAKER_04
Maybe.
0
SPEAKER_04
It never even occurred.
0
SPEAKER_04
I feel like I hear about Jim Carrey and
1
SPEAKER_02
manifesting stuff and I think I unintentionally manifested this career because I never let in a thought that it wouldn t happen.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, I think that s good.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, for me, it was like, I think after a few years, I don t know the eras of comedy booming, but at some point I was averaging five to 600 a month, a $50 gig, $25 birthday party.
1
SPEAKER_00
So then I was like, in those days, too bad for the younger generation, I could, that was my job.
1
SPEAKER_00
So now this is my job.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was a waiter before this and a damn good one.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
I love waiting tables too.
1
SPEAKER_00
This is my job.
1
SPEAKER_00
So then I just went wherever.
1
SPEAKER_00
But I just thought if this is what I do to make money on planet Earth, this would be a good way to go.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
Even if it stayed at that level, you mean, you mean.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
What a waiter.
1
SPEAKER_00
I always say a waiter s wage and now be like two thousand a month, twenty five hundred a month.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
I did the same thing.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
My overhead like you, Nikki, when you start and everyone when they start.
1
SPEAKER_01
is a minimal overhead, so I quit too early.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was in Arizona State, and I was working at a clothing store, and I quit because I was making 80 a week.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was making four gigs that are $20 a pop, and I was like, I feel like I got this.
1
SPEAKER_01
But I, and then I got out of school and my mom was like, God damn.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m like, listen, I wanted to be a radio DJ because that was the only other thing you could sleep in.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then maybe do the afternoon shift.
1
SPEAKER_01
And it didn t seem that hard, but I thought I can t have, everything was too tough.
1
SPEAKER_01
School started to get hard.
1
SPEAKER_01
I got distracted by standup.
1
SPEAKER_01
So what were you studying to be?
1
SPEAKER_02
Were you in school to be something?
1
SPEAKER_01
It was not, it was a little early on because I was still like in anthropology and things that didn t matter, but it was to ultimately be in,
1
SPEAKER_01
advertising, because my dad was my brother, Andy.
1
SPEAKER_02
OK, that makes sense.
1
SPEAKER_02
And advertising is the thing that you go, OK, if I that was always my fallback to I was like, because it s creative, but apparently it s even more soulless than what we like.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s apparently you re so creative all day and it s sometimes fun, but it s like you re ultimately just trying to manipulate people with your art.
1
SPEAKER_02
And that s got to be kind of depressing, which is what we are doing a lot of times as well.
1
SPEAKER_00
So we ve asked people this before, but like, OK, your first set.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
And it was.
1
SPEAKER_00
And where was it in the day of the first set that you know you re going to go up?
1
SPEAKER_02
I mean, of course it was good, right?
1
SPEAKER_02
Because none of us outdo it.
1
SPEAKER_00
The first set is always good.
1
SPEAKER_02
Again, do you know how many comedians that would be like just legends right now that just had a rough first set and couldn t couldn t even imagine how good it feels to have a good set?
1
SPEAKER_02
Because that is what keeps you coming back is that memory of the good one.
1
SPEAKER_02
No amount of bad ones make you forget it and chase it.
1
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, of course it was good.
1
SPEAKER_02
It was at University of Colorado was my freshman year and I was like really not doing well Mentally I was I had an eating disorder.
1
SPEAKER_02
I was like on death s door Literally, I was about to die and I was praying to die because it s just a miserable life You don t eat you can t eat because that s part of the disease.
1
SPEAKER_02
You re hungry all the time.
1
SPEAKER_02
You re cold No one wants to be friends with you because they think you re like on a diet trying to look hot even though like that s the last thing you re trying to do you re just like stuck it s like it s the fucking worst it s having
1
SPEAKER_02
a terminal illness and everyone blaming you for it and thinking that you chose it because you want to be hot.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s like, it sucks.
1
SPEAKER_01
Quit choosing to be hot.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
Well, it s because it starts that way, right?
1
SPEAKER_02
Like you get, you do a diet and it kind of works.
1
SPEAKER_02
You get some attention.
1
SPEAKER_02
And then I went as I do fucking, but I just couldn t, I went bananas and didn t even eat one of those a week.
1
SPEAKER_02
And, and just, uh,
1
SPEAKER_02
Like it, and so I was really good at it, but then it got really bad.
1
SPEAKER_02
I was hospitalized and stuff.
1
SPEAKER_02
So it was, I went off to school to like get away from my parents who were like monitoring what I was up to with not eating.
1
SPEAKER_02
And it was already my plan to go out of state for school, but then I caught this eating disorder between deciding to go out of state and leaving for it.
1
SPEAKER_02
And, um, I was hospitalized during the summer at home.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s rough, but I tricked them all, got out, was like, I ll eat enough and I ll go to school, I ll be responsible.
1
SPEAKER_02
All the doctors are telling my parents she s gonna die if she goes there.
1
SPEAKER_02
There s no question.
1
SPEAKER_02
I was like, yes, let me, this is hell.
1
SPEAKER_02
I don t even know how to get out of this.
1
SPEAKER_02
I don t wanna get out of it.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s just, it s fucked.
1
SPEAKER_02
But then, because I looked so scary, this is my theory, because I looked so,
1
SPEAKER_02
scary and no one wanted to be my friend.
1
SPEAKER_02
Um, I just became like loud and like funny and like told stories and, and like, you know, when we re introducing ourselves around the dorm or at the sorority, I was like rushing a sorority.
1
SPEAKER_02
Um, I looked like a skeleton, like it was crazy.
1
SPEAKER_02
And, but I just was so funny that people started forgetting the way I looked and wanting to be friends with me or I always go louder.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
I d never done that before.
1
SPEAKER_02
I never needed to do that before.
1
SPEAKER_02
I just always wanted to be not noticed.
1
SPEAKER_02
But at this point, I was so noticeable by the way I looked, I couldn t not get ahead of it.
1
SPEAKER_02
Then that was when I started hearing like, you should be a comedian.
1
SPEAKER_02
I was like, huh?
1
SPEAKER_02
I knew about stand-up, but I didn t pay attention.
1
SPEAKER_02
I liked SNL, I liked Seinfeld, I liked Friends, I liked Conan.
1
SPEAKER_02
That was the pillars of my comedy obsession.
1
SPEAKER_02
But I didn t get into stand-up and then I Googled it.
1
SPEAKER_02
in my dorm room and was like, what is this like?
1
SPEAKER_01
Was it true you were inspired by JonBenet and her early success?
1
SPEAKER_02
I didn t put the joke in my special, which is coming out May 11th.
1
SPEAKER_02
You didn t?
1
SPEAKER_00
May 11th?
1
SPEAKER_00
What s the name of it?
1
SPEAKER_02
HBO, it s called Someday You ll Die.
1
SPEAKER_02
And it s Saturday, May 11th.
1
SPEAKER_02
So it s already out now by I think the time this is airing.
1
SPEAKER_02
So just go check it out, HBO, Someday You ll Die.
1
SPEAKER_02
But I cut it from the special because
1
SPEAKER_02
I had too many jokes about, like, wanting pretty girls to die.
1
SPEAKER_02
And so I had to lose one of them.
1
SPEAKER_02
So it was, you know, the joke is a true story.
1
SPEAKER_02
I ve always been, like, insecure, always wanting to be the center of attention, not knowing how to, like, get it.
1
SPEAKER_02
I feel like that s faded as I get older and realize it s not that fun.
1
SPEAKER_02
But initially, I was always like, who doesn t want to be famous?
1
SPEAKER_02
Like, do you guys relate to that?
1
SPEAKER_02
Like, your friends in high school or middle school?
1
SPEAKER_02
But mine were like, not really.
1
SPEAKER_02
We don t really care about being
1
SPEAKER_02
famous and I m like, what is that?
1
SPEAKER_00
Everything I think now, I mean, a younger generation because everyone is famous in their own way with Instagram, all that.
1
SPEAKER_00
But I I said this to Jerry Seinfeld, I checked with my wife once a year.
1
SPEAKER_00
I go, honey, did I ever say I wanted to be rich and famous ever?
1
SPEAKER_00
Really?
1
SPEAKER_00
And she said, no, because I was just trying to win the club and I was trying to get to the middle and then get to the headline.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was just thinking like that.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was too abstract that I would be famous, too crazy that I could be on TV.
1
SPEAKER_00
And it hurt me in a lot of ways throughout my career.
1
SPEAKER_00
I never was able to really take it in.
1
SPEAKER_02
You know, Dana, what motivated you was just be like becoming a headliner.
1
SPEAKER_02
Like that was the first like I just want to be able to make a living, a good living, a decent living, doing stand up and making people laugh.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I came from a track and field cross-country background.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I was also really, really competitive, but not in a nasty way.
1
SPEAKER_00
But when Rob Williams was there initially and then he left to do more work in Mindy when he came back, which I said many times, or I don t know, he would levitate the room, as I call it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
It looked like he wasn t trying.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was explosive.
1
SPEAKER_00
I just thought, well, there s a standard.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I kept saying, I ve got to get more intense.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I was I was horrible.
1
SPEAKER_00
I would have one, you know, joke after like a five minute setup or, you know, it s like, yeah, I see a short setup.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then a lot of, you know, it took me a long time.
1
SPEAKER_02
But man, did you do you figured it out?
1
SPEAKER_02
I mean, so quickly you re you got your level of.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I mean, but relatively like you had it from being like bombing wildly on stage to figuring out how to elicit the kind of laughs Robin Williams gets in a you figured it out and But that s so interesting to me to because there there is a difference like I think the the
1
SPEAKER_02
for me being famous is just like being loved.
1
SPEAKER_02
You know, like it sounds vapid, but it s like at its core, it s just like, I just want love and acceptance.
1
SPEAKER_02
I want to be able to survive in the world because people like me already, you know, it s just a survival instinct.
1
SPEAKER_02
So it s, I hate, I want to take some vapidity away from it because it feels like, um, I just want everyone to like, is that even a word?
1
SPEAKER_02
I just want everyone to, you know, um, I like that you re already, you re already walking in a room.
1
SPEAKER_01
and we have the benefit where people know you and have mostly a positive opinion, or at least you re not scary, at least when you walk up to people or you say, oh, your kids are cute, they don t think you re a psychopath, they re like, oh, this guy, or any situation you can say hi to people or you can,
1
SPEAKER_01
And they kind of are off guard already.
1
SPEAKER_01
They re not like, hey, fuck you, don t walk up to me.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, well, doesn t that make sense in an evolutionary standpoint of like wanting the whole tribe to know who you are and care about keeping you around because and having some stake in your existence?
1
SPEAKER_02
I mean, it s it comes from it makes sense where it comes from.
1
SPEAKER_02
But Dana, I think I also have that in me, too, that competitive nature that I didn t I didn t know, because I think I m the same way of like, I m not like
1
SPEAKER_02
throwing a remote control if I lose a video game kind of angry competitive, but I am viciously competitive.
1
SPEAKER_02
And you realize that when you do things like the roast, which is like, I was just thinking about this.
1
SPEAKER_02
This is like the day after, two days after the roast.
1
SPEAKER_02
And immediately you walk off stage and everyone s like,
2
SPEAKER_03
this was the best, this was the second best, this was the, like, it is a ranking thing, and I m like, oh my God, that s why I like roasts, is because I wanna, I finally found a way in comedy to, like, compete, and in a way that I feel comfortable competing.
2
SPEAKER_03
Like, I can t compete, maybe, in other ways in comedy.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I don t look at, like, going up at the comedy store against people as a competition, but this is like, you have five minutes, everyone s doing the same thing, it s the same task, and who s the best?
2
SPEAKER_03
And yeah, it brings out that nature in me.
2
SPEAKER_01
The real thing is, you have five minutes, everyone s doing 23.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh my God.
2
SPEAKER_01
I texted you during the roast.
2
SPEAKER_01
I go, is everyone going fucking long or what s going on here?
2
SPEAKER_03
Well, it was interesting.
2
SPEAKER_03
They told us like, you know, football players are getting three minutes bill Bella checks getting to, you know, and then you re getting, you re getting six, you re getting Andrew s getting six, Jeff s getting six.
2
SPEAKER_03
Um, and, uh, and everyone went over because the last, you don t, you don t account for the laughs at the forum, but I will say they were like,
2
SPEAKER_03
I thought they were gonna be a lot more strict about, you can t do this, you can t say this.
2
SPEAKER_03
But get this, I m sitting, so I have my set, I m down to the wire, right?
2
SPEAKER_03
I ve been working for a month on perfecting every fucking word, every transition.
2
SPEAKER_03
Everything makes sense, finally get it down, submit it.
2
SPEAKER_03
and I mean like under the wire, then rush to the red carpet.
2
SPEAKER_03
Out of the red carpet, I go, do I have time to go to prompter to see what this fucking looks like even?
2
SPEAKER_03
Read through the prompter.
2
SPEAKER_03
In the prompter room, all the comedians, all the people on the dais are in the room.
2
SPEAKER_03
So I m like, can they get behind?
2
SPEAKER_03
So I m reading through, Kevin s behind me.
2
SPEAKER_03
I m like, Kevin Hart, will you not look at, but he couldn t see over everyone s shoulders anyway, so it didn t fucking matter.
2
SPEAKER_03
So I was like, can you raise the monitor?
2
SPEAKER_03
And so he, so I m reading through, I like, and then rushed right on stage.
2
SPEAKER_03
I sit down, Kevin comes up to do his set first, open, and he does one of my jokes.
2
SPEAKER_02
Classic roast situation.
2
SPEAKER_02
Do you think he saw it on the prompter or just parallel development?
2
SPEAKER_03
No, oh my god, that setup sounded like I thought he stole it.
2
SPEAKER_02
No, no, no.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, no, sorry about that.
2
SPEAKER_02
Parallel development.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yes, obviously.
2
SPEAKER_03
But I was just like, how did they not catch this?
2
SPEAKER_03
But the truth is, the writing team is getting jokes last minute.
2
SPEAKER_03
Kevin chose his jokes very last minute.
2
SPEAKER_03
They re entering them in.
2
SPEAKER_03
No one cross-checked it.
2
SPEAKER_03
So his joke is that Tom
2
SPEAKER_03
Brady got out of his divorce, and then he s been fucking around town so much, his dick has CTE.
2
SPEAKER_03
And mine was about masturbating to him to research for this, and my clit has CTE.
2
SPEAKER_03
But on mine, I have like a tag that I m like, okay, that makes it different.
2
SPEAKER_03
So I ll just blow past the fact that I do the same joke.
2
SPEAKER_03
But I m also like, at first I m just my face, I can t even, I m on camera, but I m like, oh no.
2
SPEAKER_01
How do you get it off the prompter?
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, during the show, you can t get it off the prompter, right?
2
SPEAKER_03
It s a live show.
2
SPEAKER_03
There s no producer to call.
2
SPEAKER_03
We re on stage already set.
2
SPEAKER_03
I m like, do I talk into my lav and think maybe someone hears me?
2
SPEAKER_03
I don t have an in-ear to hear if they hear me.
2
SPEAKER_03
Jeff Ross, who s the producer, comes and sits down next to me.
2
SPEAKER_03
I go, I have the same joke Kevin just did, and I can t take it out of the prompter.
2
SPEAKER_03
The prompter guy is knocking built.
2
SPEAKER_03
I haven t worked with him enough to, hey, if I do this, just go to the next one.
2
SPEAKER_03
I had it set.
2
SPEAKER_03
So then I m looking at one of my friends who s in the front row, and she knows my set.
2
SPEAKER_03
backwards and forwards and I go and she s like deer in headlights look too and I go what do I do and she s just like looking at the carpet because we re trying to think of another joke that will fit coming out of Tom you were on my fantasy team last night and then transition after the CTE like into something CTE without saying it like
2
SPEAKER_01
And can you jump the line without the prompter freaking out and blowing?
2
SPEAKER_03
No, but that s the thing.
2
SPEAKER_03
I m like, I don t think I can t because I m like, I don t even know.
2
SPEAKER_03
And then I and it would ruin my flow entirely if I stopped and go, hey, can you?
2
SPEAKER_03
And then I go, OK, maybe I ll just say the joke and go.
2
SPEAKER_03
that would have gotten better had it not been already set, like address it.
2
SPEAKER_03
But then that s like, do I need to?
2
SPEAKER_03
I ve never performed for even this big of a crowd before.
2
SPEAKER_03
It s at the forum.
2
SPEAKER_03
So it s like, I don t know the dynamics of the sound and what people like.
2
SPEAKER_03
And so, but then I did the math on it.
2
SPEAKER_03
I was like, okay, there s enough time between me and that joke that they might reset.
2
SPEAKER_03
Like they ll subconsciously knows that isn t as funny as it would have been without hearing it, but maybe they won t be able to place it.
2
SPEAKER_02
I think so.
2
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I just noticed it and I went, oh, well, the head didn t talk to the tail.
2
SPEAKER_02
That was just and there was going to be no one s going to like she stole that.
2
SPEAKER_02
Other people talking about how beautiful Tom Brady is, how attractive he is and stuff like that.
2
SPEAKER_02
Or is he gay?
2
SPEAKER_02
How can you not have overlap?
2
SPEAKER_02
There s going to be bumps.
2
SPEAKER_03
Definitely.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I was surprised that there weren t more like when I submit, because after that happened, it was one of his first jokes.
2
SPEAKER_03
And so the rest of the time I m watching his the teleprompter, like where else?
2
SPEAKER_03
Like, what am I going to do?
2
SPEAKER_03
Like, it was just that moment of, you know, live TV, which obviously you guys are used to where it s like you re I got to make a decision and let s just see if I know the right one.
2
SPEAKER_02
But you have the best line.
2
SPEAKER_02
of the night, which I thought it was the most clever.
2
SPEAKER_02
It was hard hitting it.
2
SPEAKER_02
But it really made me laugh out loud.
2
SPEAKER_02
And that was how does it feel?
2
SPEAKER_02
I won t want him to say that when he he can kick your ass while he eat.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh, thank you.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
I d say that I talk about Tom Brady now.
2
SPEAKER_03
Giselle, his ex-wife, is dating a jujitsu instructor.
2
SPEAKER_03
I was like, that s got to hurt knowing your ex-wife s new boyfriend could beat your ass while eating hers.
2
SPEAKER_01
I like that you don t say eating her ass.
2
SPEAKER_03
I m glad that you like that, because I was like, oh, did I even say that?
2
SPEAKER_03
Poor Giselle.
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, it s so outrageous, but it was constructed really well.
2
SPEAKER_02
Thank you.
2
SPEAKER_02
You said hers.
2
SPEAKER_02
You didn t say ass twice.
2
SPEAKER_02
There was a reason it was palatable.
2
SPEAKER_03
Thank you.
2
SPEAKER_03
That really means a lot.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I ll just tell you point blank.
2
SPEAKER_02
It doesn t matter that you re on the thing.
2
SPEAKER_02
I thought you won the night.
2
SPEAKER_02
You saw how Kevin Hart react.
2
SPEAKER_02
If there is a competition, there is.
2
SPEAKER_01
He was a good reactor, though.
2
SPEAKER_02
He really did give it up to, you know, me, me, not no money line and all that.
2
SPEAKER_02
I mean, he sincerely in that moment was giving it up to like, that s how it s done.
2
SPEAKER_02
It doesn t get any better.
2
SPEAKER_02
So you must have felt good after that.
2
SPEAKER_03
I mean, amazing, because you guys know, like,
2
SPEAKER_03
We are all kind of in competition sometimes, and for another comedian like Kevin Hart, who definitely has achieved that level of success by making things about him and probably not making it about other people and shining the light on them, that s how you get there, to use that time to break, I mean, he literally went up and was quoting people s jokes, just saying them again.
2
SPEAKER_03
He literally, after I got a standing ovation, which I didn t even know about, he goes, I want everyone in the, in case you didn t see it at home, Nikki got a standing ovation.
2
SPEAKER_03
give me that like he did.
2
SPEAKER_03
I know why he was doing that because he wants to build me up.
2
SPEAKER_03
It wasn t so that people actually, it was, it was designed that way.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I thanked him afterwards and I said, I know you did.
2
SPEAKER_03
You didn t need to be as generous with, you know, the laughter and, and, and saying things afterwards you did.
2
SPEAKER_03
And he was, he did it for everyone.
2
SPEAKER_03
And it was, it was an example of what I want to like be more like in this business.
2
SPEAKER_01
It made it more fun.
2
SPEAKER_01
It made it very likable too.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, it s the way Keith Allen, when you go on his show, when you do stand up on his show, he comes, which is terrifying.
2
SPEAKER_03
And you kind of do, you don t go up cold, but you re coming back from a commercial break.
2
SPEAKER_03
It s obviously, it s like all of a sudden this person just standing there who s no one s seen.
2
SPEAKER_03
It s like kind of going up cold a little bit.
2
SPEAKER_03
for an audience, but he comes out before, warms them up, tells them, I love this girl so much, like even if he doesn t, and then he is like cackling at his desk, and just his silhouette moving, he probably isn t even making any sound, but he s giving us that, and the audience is watching him to decide how to feel about me, subconsciously.
2
SPEAKER_03
It s the way that,
2
SPEAKER_03
I feel about YouTube comments, which I hate so much.
2
SPEAKER_03
I hate that everyone gets to just comment on things all the time.
2
SPEAKER_03
And David, I always, when I talk about this, I always say how you, um, you told me that the Hollywood minute, what it was showbiz.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
Hollywood minute on SNL was the only time like, like celebrities got roasted or like kind of got made fun of or ridiculed
2
SPEAKER_03
directly like that yeah it was all people magazine and all everything was like fawning fawning yeah but that was the only place for it in the 90s like and look at it now we that that seems insane that that would be the like it s it didn t exist before an angry mob yeah and
2
SPEAKER_03
So YouTube comments are constantly there to tell you how to feel about a video.
2
SPEAKER_03
Like even I m a pretty savvy consumer and I feel like, you know, I want to watch content and really make my own decision about how I feel about this and not be influenced.
2
SPEAKER_03
But then a little YouTube comment pops up and if it s like,
2
SPEAKER_03
If it s fly on the wall or whatever, commenting one of the greatest things I ve ever seen, and I see a little check mark next to your name, even if I don t know what it is, I m like, someone with a check mark thinks this is the best thing.
2
SPEAKER_03
I like this more no matter what, I just do, even me who knows that it s trying to get me to like it.
2
SPEAKER_03
So I think it s really detrimental when it s negative, but when Kevin kind of co-signed, I think that s why.
2
SPEAKER_03
There s been this fervor afterwards that I ve never felt in my career before of people being like, you had a standing ovation.
2
SPEAKER_03
You were the best one.
2
SPEAKER_03
I m like, thank you, Kevin Hart.
2
SPEAKER_03
I mean, I did well, but that really, that boost helps so much.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s Sophia Franklin, and if you don t already know, listen up.
2
SPEAKER_00
My miniseries is live now each and every Monday, and the only person missing is you.
2
SPEAKER_00
We re dating, we re dumping, we re learning, and we re tapping into all the feels that originally
3
SPEAKER_02
brought us together.
3
SPEAKER_02
Listen and follow Sofia with an F on the Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s hard to have no glitches.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s hard to go through a set.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s hard to go later.
3
SPEAKER_01
I when they introduced you, I said, fuck, yeah, she s got to go soon because Andrew Schultz, who s great.
3
SPEAKER_01
And by the time I got to him, I forgot he was going on.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m like, oh, my God, he s still he s got to follow every job.
3
SPEAKER_01
I told him and he still did great.
3
SPEAKER_02
I told him, I said, if we swap sets, this could be a different conversation.
3
SPEAKER_02
Because he s like, you did the best.
3
SPEAKER_02
Don t even fucking try to tell me I did too.
3
SPEAKER_02
And he s being very sweet.
3
SPEAKER_02
But I go, but we know it was about, they didn t have any juice left.
3
SPEAKER_02
And we were two hours into a show.
3
SPEAKER_02
I couldn t believe how well Tom Brady did three hours into a show.
3
SPEAKER_02
I was like, but it was a good time all around.
3
SPEAKER_02
Who did you guys in your career, like, do you feel, were there any moments
3
SPEAKER_02
where someone went out of their way to vouch for you or say you re funny that is like stands out to you?
3
SPEAKER_02
I know you have tons, but.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, for me, I guess Brad Gray and Bernie Berlstein, they were.
3
SPEAKER_00
They just championed me.
3
SPEAKER_00
I had other managers and people didn t get me.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was sort of a cutesy guy.
3
SPEAKER_00
I didn t look like a comedian.
3
SPEAKER_00
I did a lot of weird sitcoms because I didn t know that I d be on Saturday Night Live in three years, you know?
3
SPEAKER_00
Whoa, really?
3
SPEAKER_00
They were the first ones that said, yeah, you, you, yeah, you ve got it.
3
SPEAKER_02
And directed you towards SNL and that kind of thing?
3
SPEAKER_02
Were they the ones that say, this is where you belong?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
And Bernie managed Lorne Michaels.
3
SPEAKER_00
He was Bernie was Lorne s manager.
3
SPEAKER_02
Got it.
3
SPEAKER_00
And we were all in the ecosystem there.
3
SPEAKER_00
So it was a lot of luck.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I just want for a second, being competitive like Kevin Hart, I m sure is maybe he s like who can get to a billion or whatever is a separate lane from generosity.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
And being you know, it s like I can imagine you meeting a version of yourself who s like 22 in the clubs and you you catch something good about.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes, Tanya Harding her.
3
SPEAKER_00
You just make sure, well, just to be honest, you probably would squash her.
3
SPEAKER_02
Right, because of the amount of time I ve been doing it versus her, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
and you pull out the tricks and then the baton.
3
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, I am, that s what I was talking, like the Jean Benet story that I didn t get, like, I m threatened by girls who are like younger and prettier and I can see potential in them.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like, of course I want them to go away and to get, you know, get a boy, like, you know, Brittany Murphy out.
3
SPEAKER_02
I hate to, I m making obviously a joke, but I want them to get a boyfriend who controls them and then they don t get to succeed and be, and reach their potential.
3
SPEAKER_02
There s a secret deep part of me that yes, because to me, it s a survival of the fittest.
3
SPEAKER_02
And if she s out there, then that s one less spot for me.
3
SPEAKER_02
And people say there s room enough for everyone, but there is a threshold for how many people people can know.
3
SPEAKER_02
So you can say it all day, everyone can be famous, but not everyone can.
3
SPEAKER_02
There is a threshold, so there is a spot.
3
SPEAKER_02
If someone goes, another spot opens up.
3
SPEAKER_02
But now I fight that disgusting part of my brain that is so jealous and so, uh, critical.
3
SPEAKER_02
And when I, I challenge myself every time I get threatened by a girl on Instagram, like I see a clip of a young hot girl and she s being hilarious, like Catherine Blanford or, uh, what is her name?
3
SPEAKER_02
Caroline Benowitz.
3
SPEAKER_02
These two like cute blonde, hilarious girls.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I m just like, what the fuck?
3
SPEAKER_02
And I just want them to not be funny so bad.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m watching it like
3
SPEAKER_02
please don t be funny and it is because it is every time because they re just naturally hilarious in a way that I feel like I m not.
3
SPEAKER_02
I now instead of when I feel like go away, bitch, I posted on my Instagram story and I say this girl s hilarious.
3
SPEAKER_02
I just like I have to do it.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s my rule for myself to like fight that because that people did that to me early on in my career and tried to like
3
SPEAKER_02
you know, get me canceled in different clubs and told people I was sleeping with comedians to get stage time.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I was like a virgin.
3
SPEAKER_02
I didn t even, I was scared of sex.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I was suddenly like this whore that was blowing people, disgusting comics for stage time.
3
SPEAKER_02
Um, and it was, it really held me back.
3
SPEAKER_02
I had to like move out of my home club town because it was like, no one respected me and everyone thought I was stealing jokes from guys.
3
SPEAKER_01
I like that move still works.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s like, she s a whore.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s like, this sounds like it works through the history of time.
3
SPEAKER_01
Everyone s like, what?
3
SPEAKER_02
And she was, these guys were writing, she s blowing Pauly Shore and he s writing for her.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I was like, I don t know which I should be more insulted by.
3
SPEAKER_02
Not because Pauly s hilarious, but like that.
3
SPEAKER_02
How could you think he could write these jokes for me and that I would trust him to write to my voice like it was just like it was.
3
SPEAKER_02
So I try to just do the opposite, even though they re absolutely.
3
SPEAKER_02
I really relate to that bully, the person, you know, the people that even bully.
3
SPEAKER_00
What is is the phrase rumor monger?
3
SPEAKER_00
Is that the phrase people who cultivate rumors to destroy people?
3
SPEAKER_02
It s it s easy to do, isn t it?
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, you know, shot shot for, you know, the German word for joy in your friend s failures.
3
SPEAKER_00
So that we all we all are five year.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, OK.
3
SPEAKER_00
We re all 10 years old inside.
3
SPEAKER_00
So there is all of those reflexes.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know, it s like Toy Story.
3
SPEAKER_00
There s a new kid in town.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know, all that.
3
SPEAKER_00
We do.
3
SPEAKER_00
And that s the next Nikki Glaser.
3
SPEAKER_02
You re being replaced.
3
SPEAKER_02
There s someone younger.
3
SPEAKER_02
They get more attention.
3
SPEAKER_02
They re more fertile.
3
SPEAKER_02
These are all the things I talk about in my special, but yeah, it makes sense.
3
SPEAKER_02
I remember, what was I just going to say?
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh, but when my bully in my hometown, who really devastated me, and I really did have to leave town because she got all of my friend comics against me.
3
SPEAKER_02
My club that I started at, I just couldn t get stage time because she convinced everyone I was a hack whore.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s the title of your next special.
3
SPEAKER_02
I think that s like the Japanese translation of the one that s out now.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s your poster.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s the poster.
3
SPEAKER_01
In Tokyo.
3
SPEAKER_02
But what I remember, I had told Amy Schumer, we were dear friends, and we were talking about, and she knew all about her, and oh, we both hated this girl, and we re like, oh, you know what, this is gonna drive you to succeed, and I finally got to a place where I was doing really well, and I remember texting Amy one day, like, I found out she s pregnant, and I was kind of like, oh, she s got a husband and a boyfriend, and Amy just goes, you won!
3
SPEAKER_02
And I was like, oh, you re right.
3
SPEAKER_02
We re not going to hear much from her now.
3
SPEAKER_02
Um, so yeah, that s my new thing is wishing girls pregnant.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
You wish him to get pregnant, to get rid of instead of death, just pregnancy.
3
SPEAKER_01
It buys you some time.
3
SPEAKER_01
When we did the roast for Rob Lowe, I saw Rob yesterday, actually.
3
SPEAKER_01
We did the roast for Rob Lowe, why did I say that?
3
SPEAKER_02
He s good, because you can t not see him and go like, I m looking at a perfect, it s jarring what he looks like.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m sure you never get used to it, but yeah, when we were doing the roast.
3
SPEAKER_01
It still bothers me.
3
SPEAKER_01
It is.
3
SPEAKER_01
He s my JonBenet.
3
SPEAKER_01
It hurts.
3
SPEAKER_01
So when I did the roast with Nikki, that s the only one I ve done,
3
SPEAKER_01
was for against Rob Lowe or whatever it s called.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was Rob Lowe roast.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then I thought one of the interesting things, I never did it, was the respect and quiet unwritten rule that regular people don t seem to know.
3
SPEAKER_01
When I go to the improv, if Jeff Ross is on stage, I don t go in.
3
SPEAKER_01
And when they re practicing roast jokes, I saw you the other night, you re doing yours, the other comics that are on the roast step aside on their own.
3
SPEAKER_01
They go, we re not allowed to see each other.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yep.
3
SPEAKER_01
And when you go to the stage, Dana, they were like, that day, I m going to just look at the prompter.
3
SPEAKER_01
Rob Lowe is there.
3
SPEAKER_01
And they go, we got to get Rob Lowe out before you can come in.
3
SPEAKER_01
And everyone s in on it.
3
SPEAKER_01
And everyone understands.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yep.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, wait, we don t say it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, they just go, you re not ready to go in yet.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I in my head, I go, Oh, Nikki must be someone s in there.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, we don t, that s the strange thing.
3
SPEAKER_02
I ve noticed that in this time around, like I m running into Jeff around town and I m, you re trying to get a sense of like, how hard are we going with Tom Brady?
3
SPEAKER_02
Can we mention Aaron Hernandez?
3
SPEAKER_02
Can we mention him kissing his kids?
3
SPEAKER_02
Can we mention Giselle even?
3
SPEAKER_02
Can we mention Bridget Moynihan?
3
SPEAKER_02
Can we mention him deflating balls?
3
SPEAKER_02
Like you don t know where the line is.
3
SPEAKER_02
So I got on an early call and I m like, you know, what s the vibe?
3
SPEAKER_02
Like you just want to get a sense of other people s jokes to see what s going on.
3
SPEAKER_01
You don t know what they are.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
But you can t, because you wouldn t want anyone to see your joke, so you can t.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because you go, am I the one going too far?
3
SPEAKER_01
That s the funny part.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then you hear someone going too far, and you re like, well, now I want to go for that.
3
SPEAKER_02
And now your whole set, the bar rises.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s what happened to me like a week ago.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m like, wait, there is an Aaron Hernandez joke?
3
SPEAKER_02
Like, we re going to joke about a guy who hung himself in prison tragically after killing someone because he had CTE, which is what all these guys are going to get on stage eventually?
3
SPEAKER_02
Like, oh, we re going there?
3
SPEAKER_02
Let s, okay.
3
SPEAKER_02
There were three of them, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
I mean, it was, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Bridget Monaghan said something today.
3
SPEAKER_01
She did.
3
SPEAKER_01
She said, she posted something like, uh, you know, I would never, it wasn t, it wasn t saying her, but he s, she said, I would never let people, it s really what you think she d say something like that s not something I would do.
3
SPEAKER_01
I thought we would never do stuff like this about, and it was like,
4
SPEAKER_01
Because she gets dragged into it.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think one of your jokes.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
But also Giselle took such a fucking beating that all I wanted was her to walk out at the end and get a standing ovation.
4
SPEAKER_02
How cool would that have been?
4
SPEAKER_02
I m sure they tried to get her, but there was no way.
4
SPEAKER_02
That would have been so cool.
4
SPEAKER_01
Sources in a fucking karate gi.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s Brazilian with a white belt.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s a white belt.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s not about a karate lesson.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
I haven t learned one thing.
4
SPEAKER_00
OK, I have a question, Nikki.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
In the room.
4
SPEAKER_00
And your vibe, you re looking at Tom, you re watching him.
4
SPEAKER_00
He s a good sport.
4
SPEAKER_00
They say he got mad at Jeff Ross for a second.
4
SPEAKER_00
What s your vibe of how much pain or not pain he was feeling and how much he was expecting these level of jokes or was he surprised?
4
SPEAKER_02
I thought he was down for whatever.
4
SPEAKER_02
I mean, there was, you know, we all agreed not to make fun of his kids and the kissing thing.
4
SPEAKER_02
We all were like, we don t want to bring that into it because, you know, his kids are in like middle school.
4
SPEAKER_02
We want them to keep that special between them.
4
SPEAKER_02
Um, and so, uh, we just decided that was kind of the, that was the only one that I was like, Hey, we re all kind of collectively not going to do that.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I would go, okay, well, there goes half my act lit legs.
4
SPEAKER_02
So much was about kissing the guy, helping the kid.
4
SPEAKER_02
Because that was the only thing I knew about him.
4
SPEAKER_02
When that video came out, I was kind of obsessed with it because my dad used to kiss me on the lips as a kid.
4
SPEAKER_02
It went into my adulthood where I was like, we can t do this.
4
SPEAKER_02
I know we do this as a family.
4
SPEAKER_02
And my other friends would be like, you guys kiss on the, I related to it.
4
SPEAKER_02
So I had a lot of jokes about that and then they all went away.
4
SPEAKER_02
Forget what your question was.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, did you feel like that?
4
SPEAKER_00
He was.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
See that he co-signed for the Giselle jokes.
4
SPEAKER_00
And he had a heads up that is where they were going to go to do it.
4
SPEAKER_00
It was so rough.
4
SPEAKER_02
Well, I couldn t look at him because I felt like he even in there s this clip of me online that I m watching and he cuts to him and he looks devastated, like he looks really
4
SPEAKER_00
Like a tight smile.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, and I thought he would be able to fake it more, but I also, I m like, oh wow, I thought he was gonna know all of our jokes.
4
SPEAKER_02
I honestly, cause he s an EP on it.
4
SPEAKER_02
So I thought he, and he wants to control things.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like I m sure he s gonna deflate some of our jokes by looking at them and, you know, and making them more palatable for him to handle and hold.
4
SPEAKER_02
And, but he didn t.
4
SPEAKER_02
And he, cause even when Jeff made the Robert Kraft joke about like alluding to the happy ending massages,
4
SPEAKER_02
He got up and was like, no, I didn t hear it happen, but I saw him get up.
4
SPEAKER_02
I didn t know what he said, but I was on Stern yesterday and he said that he was like, no, that s too far or something.
4
SPEAKER_02
And that was a real moment.
4
SPEAKER_00
Don t ever say that shit again.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
That s what he said?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yikes.
4
SPEAKER_02
I would, cause Jeff did sit back down and was like, did I cross?
4
SPEAKER_02
Like, was that cause he tried to handle it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Why on God s green earth would it be about that?
4
SPEAKER_02
What do you mean?
4
SPEAKER_02
Why is he picking that?
4
SPEAKER_02
Because I think Robert Kraft was a hard get to get in that room.
4
SPEAKER_02
And Tom probably vouched and said they are not going to come after you.
4
SPEAKER_01
You cannot sit in the fucking within a mile radius.
4
SPEAKER_02
No, but that was that he should have communicated better because Jeff would have never, ever overstepped the line that Tom put down.
4
SPEAKER_02
And he would have made it like he wouldn t have ever.
4
SPEAKER_02
So that wasn t communicated clearly because Jeff was so like it was like a throwaway conscious about it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it was.
4
SPEAKER_02
But he was offended, dude, I really do think that he didn t expect it.
4
SPEAKER_02
But I was checking in with Jeff beforehand and he was like, he s ready to go.
4
SPEAKER_02
He wants to do this full throttle, let s go.
4
SPEAKER_02
No holds barred, just not the kids, he can take it.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I go, Gisele, and you re like, yep, he can take it.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m like, all right.
4
SPEAKER_02
And if you watch a Greg Giraldo roast compilation,
4
SPEAKER_02
That s all you need to do to watch to know what you re in for.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s going to be that level, because we re all watching those, and we re all striving for that level of truth and harshness.
4
SPEAKER_02
For him to ever be surprised at anything is just bad planning, and you thought you were impervious to it or something?
4
SPEAKER_02
That s insane.
4
SPEAKER_00
Everything we know about Tom Brady as an athlete, his preparation, his perfectionism, I mean, he would scream it.
4
SPEAKER_00
So there is a crazy as a fox kind of vibe here.
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, studying him.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, he s very he s more vulnerable.
4
SPEAKER_00
He s more human.
4
SPEAKER_00
They call him the human robot.
4
SPEAKER_00
He s about to sign a three hundred seventy five million dollar deal to be in the booth.
4
SPEAKER_00
So these little asides and jokes, it s all been sort of said.
4
SPEAKER_00
out loud in a vicious way.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I think it s a new day in town for him walking down the street because you kind of feel empathy for him.
4
SPEAKER_00
There was that joke.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think it was Kevin Hart.
4
SPEAKER_00
You went eight and nine and you lost your wife and kids.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it was worth going eight and nine for.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, there was that too.
4
SPEAKER_00
But as far as primality, if you talk about the male psyche and the male ego and what however that went down, we don t know.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
But that s a very that that made me empathetic toward him.
4
SPEAKER_02
I agree.
4
SPEAKER_02
I think I think he didn t think that angle of like losing your family would be family is a rotten term.
4
SPEAKER_02
It is.
4
SPEAKER_02
And and the truth is, he did it like he wasn t he didn t abandon his kids.
4
SPEAKER_02
He s like a great father.
4
SPEAKER_02
He that I hope that he was able to just know that that s not true.
4
SPEAKER_01
And wouldn t you not want that out there?
4
SPEAKER_01
Just the people that were casual viewer goes, oh, he does.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s.
4
SPEAKER_01
kids.
4
SPEAKER_02
Now, that s what I know about him.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like anyone who doesn t.
4
SPEAKER_02
We defined who he is now.
4
SPEAKER_02
You re so right there.
4
SPEAKER_02
This is opening up a world in which he might face more criticism.
4
SPEAKER_02
I do know he didn t go to the after party, you know, like it would go cry in the corner.
4
SPEAKER_00
You would have water.
4
SPEAKER_00
But, you know, it s divorce with with like a total net worth between the two of about a half billions.
4
SPEAKER_00
And their kids are living online every day.
4
SPEAKER_00
They re 10 and 12 or something like that.
4
SPEAKER_00
So they re seeing all these jokes.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I know.
4
SPEAKER_00
But but but then.
4
SPEAKER_00
So this
4
SPEAKER_00
They re already acclimated.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s not out of the blue.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that s a good point.
4
SPEAKER_02
I mean, it s just their life.
4
SPEAKER_02
And that was when I said some savage joke about that.
4
SPEAKER_02
I think the eating ass Giselle joke and which I was scared to even look towards him.
4
SPEAKER_02
But then I was just like.
4
SPEAKER_02
you re Tom Brady.
4
SPEAKER_02
I just, I go, you ll be okay.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like, I really, I literally said that because I m like, you will, like, and you did ask for this.
4
SPEAKER_02
And if you don t know how, it s interesting.
4
SPEAKER_02
Cause I wonder, I m, I m going on Kimmel later today.
4
SPEAKER_02
And my angle is like, Oh, let me read some jokes about me that didn t make it.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like there s a writer s room and so many jokes that, you know, people didn t use about me.
4
SPEAKER_02
Cause I wasn t, people thought, you know, there s more important people to talk about.
4
SPEAKER_02
I ll read those.
4
SPEAKER_02
And so those are coming in right now.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I m like,
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh, God, like and some of them are from my like close friends who are in that room.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m like, you you see this thing about me that I thought I would not want.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m having that moment, but I think that s I feel like it s a good move because I was going to read Rose jokes that didn t make it and just go harder on people.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I m like, no, what if I go hard on myself and it kind of give myself that Tom Brady treatment that I just.
4
SPEAKER_00
But it s hard, man.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s a great idea.
4
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, it is sort of like, you know, what are people perceiving about me that I don t see?
4
SPEAKER_00
It s so gross.
4
SPEAKER_02
Because you don t even, like, they would never, like, the things we said about Tom Brady, we wouldn t, you can t even tell him in a, you know, on a Zoom meeting of like, here s the areas that we might go to.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like, no one did that.
4
SPEAKER_02
No one even said, because there are things about me I know that I just already read coming in where I m like, I really didn t know anyone thought that about me.
4
SPEAKER_02
I really thought that was just between me and the mirror when I m alone.
4
SPEAKER_02
And so I m sure.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s why you can t get roasted.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think I got asked to be roasted once, and it s good money, but I thought I could never handle it.
4
SPEAKER_01
And that s why I never did it, and I only did it as a host.
4
SPEAKER_01
And in the host, you re in the crossfire.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I think some jokes about me got,
4
SPEAKER_01
traded because we got that last minute addition and it was too juicy, so everyone jumped on Ann Coulter.
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh God, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s great.
4
SPEAKER_01
So she became the punching bag.
4
SPEAKER_01
And later I was told, oh, you dodged a few bullets because she was switched.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m surprised you did that.
4
SPEAKER_02
I wasn t really friends with you back then, but knowing you now, I m so glad you did.
4
SPEAKER_02
But it s brutal, it hurts so much.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m glad that I kind of got,
4
SPEAKER_02
brushed over, but there was like one or two jokes about me that afterwards at the after party, I just was kind of a little bit like processing and being like, wait, why did he write like that?
4
SPEAKER_02
Was that a joke or was that from a real place?
4
SPEAKER_02
And like, yeah, it stays with you a little bit.
4
SPEAKER_00
So it s, you know, but it s worth it because it s the exposure and the- If Brady s my friend, he has a shirt on top and underneath he has a t-shirt.
4
SPEAKER_00
And at the end, he unbuttons it, and it s just all the topics that were covered.
4
SPEAKER_00
Giselle Traynor asks, so he just goes, knew it.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_00
Knew it.
4
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, I wouldn t want to do that.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, the early ones, the first one that was big, was it Chevy Chase?
4
SPEAKER_00
one of the first that went on the Comedy Central and that one, because I don t think Chevy was ready for it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I really saw real pain and real wish I wasn t here.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think now people who do it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, the next celebrity is going to do it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Come on, man.
4
SPEAKER_00
You have to make it a Nikki.
4
SPEAKER_02
Honestly, what you do, you have to
5
SPEAKER_01
No, no one is immune to it, but that s kind of like the person we want to get who thinks they re such hot shit that- There s nothing there.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s everyone, everyone else can be looked at like that, but not me.
5
SPEAKER_01
And that s, that kind of was, maybe was Tom Brady was feeling.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that s a good one.
5
SPEAKER_01
But now he knows.
5
SPEAKER_03
Well, Nikki, would you rather be, this is the problem I thought with the Chevy Chase one, was Don Rickles and those guys in the old days, as people know, that was the fun roast.
5
SPEAKER_03
Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, huge stars.
5
SPEAKER_03
And they were little pokes.
5
SPEAKER_03
1970s.
5
SPEAKER_03
And they were fun pokes, they re all friends.
5
SPEAKER_03
Chevy Chase, I think it was strangers, hired assassins.
5
SPEAKER_03
So a guy s like, hi, I m whoever.
5
SPEAKER_03
By the way, you re a piece of shit.
5
SPEAKER_03
And now it s too mean because you re like, wait, who s this guy?
5
SPEAKER_03
And so is it worse from strangers or is it worse from your friends?
5
SPEAKER_03
If you were roasting me and it was too mean, I wouldn t even know how to look at you after.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I felt way worse roasting Jeff Ross and Burt Kreischer.
5
SPEAKER_03
Oh right, you said he was disgusting.
5
SPEAKER_01
He s disgusting to look at.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I was going to lose that joke because I m just so harsh.
5
SPEAKER_01
And my friends were being like, yeah, it s not really you don t even say what he looks like.
5
SPEAKER_01
You just say he s disgusting to look at.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I go, no, but that s why it s funny.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s just it s so that s the reason I like it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Not the reason you re just it s intentional to be.
5
SPEAKER_02
Who did this sea lion reference?
5
SPEAKER_02
I go back to the ocean.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that was like the only woman you ll ever make.
5
SPEAKER_01
What is the one who helps roll you back into the ocean?
5
SPEAKER_02
That was your line, right?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s another great line, and it s just a great joke.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then I had to sit back down next to him, and I do love him, and I actually do think he looks better.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like, he s looking good.
5
SPEAKER_01
I love Jeff Ross.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then to tell Bert, I like, oh, I m such a fan of your joke.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like, I obviously, I told Bert later, you know I don t feel that way.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then, but yeah, I think it s, strangers, it s easier to be vicious because I don t know them.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like, I didn t even meet Tom before the roast, so it was way easier to be,
5
SPEAKER_01
right to say sociopathic things to him because I didn t he s just a person he s a just a person on a page to me like isn t jeff frost kind of a ladies man or you know yeah he does really he I met him once yeah very young beautiful woman with him
5
SPEAKER_01
Charming and adorable and yeah, it s uh, but it felt it felt in the past I wasn t close with jet or I guess it was five years ago that I did the last one and this time I just I felt a lot I guess i m growing as a person because I felt way worse This time around saying these jokes than I ever have.
5
SPEAKER_01
I really never even cared before
5
SPEAKER_03
You know, Tony Hinchcliffe did a good job coming from the crowd.
5
SPEAKER_03
Oh, he killed.
5
SPEAKER_03
I think coming from the crowd is a great trick.
5
SPEAKER_03
A, no one expects anything from him.
5
SPEAKER_03
They don t.
5
SPEAKER_03
Most people don t know who he is.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_03
No bar walks out of the audience like, I don t I don t even know what he s doing.
5
SPEAKER_03
And I m a comedian.
5
SPEAKER_03
I m like, where is he coming on to introduce something?
5
SPEAKER_03
And then he just casually throws a line about someone.
5
SPEAKER_03
And people are don t like, who is he?
5
SPEAKER_03
Oh, that s kind of funny.
5
SPEAKER_03
Oh, that s pretty funny.
5
SPEAKER_03
And that s really good.
5
SPEAKER_03
Then he gets like Sam Jay and he does.
5
SPEAKER_03
No, whatever that one was.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then it was like, whoa, where did this guy come from?
5
SPEAKER_03
And then bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.
5
SPEAKER_03
And then that king, king, king, king, king rhythm.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he was amazing.
5
SPEAKER_01
I was blown away.
5
SPEAKER_01
That was like such a moment for him.
5
SPEAKER_01
And yeah, to walk while you re doing it, it was just... The truth is the people who do the best and those are the ones that are just like working the hardest.
5
SPEAKER_01
Talking to people afterwards, it s like, what did you do to prepare this?
5
SPEAKER_01
And we were all just so exhausted.
5
SPEAKER_01
The people that really killed.
5
SPEAKER_01
Tighten and tighten and edit.
5
SPEAKER_02
Start a month out and just say jokes and edit it down.
5
SPEAKER_01
Thinking about it obsessively, working with people all day long, and then running it around town five times a night.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I did five sets a night for like a week and a half.
5
SPEAKER_03
It s not even the same too, because you re like, these people aren t on the dais.
5
SPEAKER_03
You re telling the crowd, picture Tom Brady right here.
5
SPEAKER_03
Picture, you know who Tom Segura is?
5
SPEAKER_03
Picture him over there.
5
SPEAKER_03
And they re like, okay.
5
SPEAKER_03
It s not quite the same, but you can get a good feel.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yes, yeah, I have to explain to a room at the Laugh Factory at 11 p.m.
5
SPEAKER_01
at night, which is mostly Armenians, who Drew Bledsoe is.
5
SPEAKER_01
So for this joke, you need to know he was injured on 2001.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s exhausting to set it up.
5
SPEAKER_01
So it was fun to go out and do the roast set for the first time without being like, okay guys, I set the stage.
5
SPEAKER_01
But it s just such a weird set to do just,
5
SPEAKER_02
Right, because Tom sitting there is the whole big... Changes everything.
5
SPEAKER_02
How many minutes did you do, by the way?
5
SPEAKER_02
I m curious.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t know how many it ended up being, but it was planned to be... In the clubs it was seven, so at the forum it was probably like eight, eight and a half, with just the larger laughs.
5
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But there was jokes I put in last minute of wanting to shoot my boyfriend in the fucking face for a lottery ticket to suck his dick.
5
SPEAKER_01
That was insane, and I added that the day before, and that was like a high-risk situation.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like, there were some jokes, I was like, this isn t even really tested.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if this is gonna, it s just, I m so glad it s over.
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SPEAKER_01
I mean, don t you guys have those things all the time where it s like so much pressure?
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SPEAKER_02
It would ve made you sick, it s so stressful.
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Well, it s that kind of pressure.
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I did observe you, there was a wide shot as the show was starting.
5
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Oh, gosh.
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Oh, there s Nikki, and I thought, I saw you go, big sigh.
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Like, just psyching up.
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You probably could see my side from a wide shot at the forum.
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You can see my body move.
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Maybe they re panning over.
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I just saw and I thought that s exactly the frame of mind I would be in.
5
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Like, OK, here we go.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s all supposed to be ha ha ha ha.
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We have a job to do.
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SPEAKER_02
I m this is part of my career.
5
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This this audience is enormous.
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SPEAKER_02
You don t want to think about it because the way everything is stratified.
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This is still playing on Netflix.
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SPEAKER_02
It s trending for months.
5
SPEAKER_02
So there was you wanted to go, oh, this isn t important.
5
SPEAKER_02
I m just roasting that.
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SPEAKER_02
Fuck it.
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But then side you go, no, this is kind of the biggest thing I ll ever do.
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SPEAKER_01
It s the Super Bowl of comedy, like the amount of I will never literally I ll never have a moment in my career like I had yesterday, the day after the roast.
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There s nothing I can do as a comedian, hosting SNL, announcing I just had a baby, maybe if I start dating Taylor Swift, that s the only amount of texts I will get.
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The scale of this is unprecedented for a comedian.
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My special will come out, I won t even get this many texts.
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It won t ever happen again like this.
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But I kind of had a feeling about that.
5
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There s other opportunities that I ve gone, wow, I didn t work hard enough, I didn t understand the scale of that, and I fucking phoned it in, and I ll never do that again.
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But this, I just had a feeling, this is going to be pretty big, so you ve got to work hard.
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SPEAKER_02
What was an opportunity where you felt you phoned it in?
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I m just curious.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh, well, recently I did, I presented at the Creative Arts Emmys that was going to be airing on FXX.
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So I was just like, I had a lot to do that week.
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And I was like, I ll just do whatever they write for me and punch it up.
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And I should have had my own angle.
5
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John Mulaney won.
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I m presenting it to him and like,
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the thing I did for that was just so not fun like it I totally blew it totally blew it and I m like oh man this would have this is a room of all like the people in the industry like I squandered it and I go okay lesson that I learned 20 years in I shouldn t have learned this this late but never like
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Treat these things, treat everything, at least try the best you did, because you didn t do the best you could do.
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Are comedians more disciplined now?
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SPEAKER_02
Because I know there was always Jerry Seinfeld, at least for me, in the clubs, and he was super disciplined, but a lot of really good comics would get a set, which is maybe like 30, and then they would do crowd work, and they would just develop a drinking problem, and they would go out across the country, and then you d see them five years later, it s the exact same set.
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And then we re meeting John Mulaney and Jim Gaffigan and you and Jerry Seinfeld and learning about this idea of treating it like a college essay, like every line and then going into the club night after night.
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I don t know.
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SPEAKER_02
People did that back then.
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SPEAKER_02
The successful ones did.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, there s a component to being funny that is like just how hard you work.
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Like you can, we all think it s just natural and it is, that s what gets you into it.
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But yeah, you can be so much funnier by doing things that aren t funny at all and are just really just focusing.
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But I mean, those guys that you listed, like,
5
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I don t work like that on my standup.
5
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After this roast, I was like, man, if I worked this hard on my, you know, at this level that I worked at, I didn t, I did for my special that is out on HBO now, but it s like, I didn t give enough time.
5
SPEAKER_01
I worked probably about two months on an hour set.
5
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And this I worked for a month on six minutes.
5
SPEAKER_01
So for the next hour, I have to work 10 months ahead of time to get this kind of precision.
5
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And that s what I learned from this is like it s it takes it takes a month to get up to the six minutes.
5
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And that s going to the club, recording, listening to it and changing.
5
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and having a script and working with a writer s assistant who s keeping track of, wait, you said this thing on stage, like who s in the room jotting things down, because I don t like listening back to myself.
5
SPEAKER_01
So I just for my special, I hired someone to come on the road with me and keep track of what I was saying on stage riffing.
5
SPEAKER_01
That would be funny.
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I ve never I ve never heard that, but that s brilliant.
5
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I just was like, why am I not treating my specials like I would treat if I was a host of a show or a movie?
5
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I need help.
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SPEAKER_01
I want people to punch this up to make it funnier.
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This doesn t have to be this solo endeavor that I ve always thought standup is that I like about standup because it s about control and I can say, I did this.
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SPEAKER_01
I didn t have an
6
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I can take all the credit, but it s so much better if you have help and you can take credit because it s the smart way to approach it.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s a good way to do it because you re the character.
6
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So if someone writes a joke for you, we know kind of what your style is.
6
SPEAKER_01
I think Kevin Hart, a few years back, I was impressed that he d go to flappers.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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He d have just bare ideas, kind of rough ideas.
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He d have four or five writers in the room.
6
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Even though it was packed 200 seats and he would just do it and then they would sort of yell out and go, what was that thing again?
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And then they would do it again.
6
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Then they would go in the little room.
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They d have that rented out for the night.
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They compare notes between shows, do this, do this, do this.
6
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So there are ways to treat it so it will move faster.
6
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Yeah, it doesn t have to take two years to get, say you need, well, we had Dave, Dave Attell did 35 of stand up and five of and it was great.
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I loved his special.
6
SPEAKER_02
God, we did to Nikki, you know, the I think when I Rob Lowe roast, it was just a hair early because when you guys get the benefit of tick tock, I wish we had tick tock Instagram.
6
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There s so many things getting passed on after the roast that I don t think we got back then.
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It was just like, did you see it?
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SPEAKER_02
Oh, it ll rerun soon.
6
SPEAKER_02
You can watch it in like another month.
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But it s live.
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So it makes it more of a great idea from Ted.
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and B, it gets passed around.
6
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So you re going to see it somehow.
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SPEAKER_02
You re going to see your set, Tony, whoever, whoever, Tom s best joke about the fucking give me 20 million and I ll admit I did it or whatever.
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SPEAKER_00
Great, great, great.
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We should mention how good he did.
6
SPEAKER_00
Our old clips are being re-cloaked.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, because of its roast?
6
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They re coming out.
6
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I just saw, no, even leading up, roast clips are just so sticky online.
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And I ve seen a couple of yours, they re taking them from now.
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And I m getting a boost.
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I m seeing boosts from old roasts of just people regenerating that stuff.
6
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But yeah, I mean, the scale of this, it was everywhere yesterday.
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Comedy Central is not Netflix, unfortunately.
6
SPEAKER_02
Even I did a special on there and it didn t get seen as much as Netflix.
6
SPEAKER_02
Does your Comedy Central compare to Netflix?
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Or HBO?
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, HBO.
6
SPEAKER_00
HBO s not global, which is fine because it s like about, okay, we might not be able to tour internationally.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m okay.
6
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The Congo?
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, cause you know, I ll go there if they want me.
6
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I ll do any, I ll go anywhere.
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I ll take any gig.
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So I m kind of glad that, and I don t like traveling internationally.
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I get stressed out by custom.
6
SPEAKER_00
So I m kind of like, okay, I m good.
6
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Not going.
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SPEAKER_00
And HBO has a, you know, a classiness to it that I really like and they really selective.
6
SPEAKER_00
So, um, but yeah, there s definitely a difference.
6
SPEAKER_00
Um,
6
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My Comedy Central and Dana could even find honestly, no joke.
6
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I was like, Dana, check it out.
6
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And he s like, I got to get online and then I got to join.
6
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I couldn t find it.
6
SPEAKER_00
You can find it on YouTube, I think.
6
SPEAKER_00
But that s why that s but that s almost good, though, because that s why when we re in Vegas and I m like on, you know, at the Venetian, Dave and I have a.
6
SPEAKER_01
So you two play the Venetian on a regular basis and what s your next gig?
6
SPEAKER_01
I think it s July.
6
SPEAKER_01
We got July, we got September.
6
SPEAKER_01
July s a little hot.
6
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They had me play there and it was 117 the weekend I was there.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think this is the last July Vegas is going to be functional.
6
SPEAKER_00
What does that mean just in terms of climate change like it s where we re getting it s getting dicey So this is one of the last summers.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think that town will be inhabitable But actually it s kind of all indoors at this point and we ll be there.
6
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Yeah, and we ll still the crowd is wilted.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s a that s a problem Yeah, they ve been out in the sun, but there it s it s such a fun show but that s why I m always like Dave will you just do bits from that comedy set like I
6
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I know them.
6
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And you can because no one saw it.
6
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And I feel the same way about some stuff in the past.
6
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And people forget.
6
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And I hate it because you go, God, I did it.
6
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And I technically am not supposed to use them, but I m like- But you can again.
6
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I ve worked so hard on it.
6
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And then I m like, and who saw it?
6
SPEAKER_02
And then you do one in anywhere else and you go, oh, these people saw it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
It s such a shame.
6
SPEAKER_00
But you know what?
6
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You have the kind of jokes that you want to hear again and again.
6
SPEAKER_00
There s like only a handful of comedians who you want.
6
SPEAKER_00
Same with you, Dana, that you want to see bits again.
6
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It s not just the element of surprise that makes it funny.
6
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I think a lot of my jokes are like, oh, it s that turn of phrase at the end.
6
SPEAKER_00
And once you hear it, it s like the rabbit s out of the hat.
6
SPEAKER_00
But for you guys, I think I want to hear stuff over and over.
6
SPEAKER_01
Well, I don t know.
6
SPEAKER_01
Last time you saw me, I didn t have anything.
6
SPEAKER_01
I just had bare notes.
6
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It was.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, my God.
6
SPEAKER_00
You were so funny.
6
SPEAKER_01
Last time I saw you, it was such a treat.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m just doing it.
6
SPEAKER_01
You know, I kind of am a sketch player at heart.
6
SPEAKER_01
So then if I do say Paul McCartney and the audience is hot, I ll just keep going.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
But I was interested in you guys on the road.
6
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So who do you flip a coin?
6
SPEAKER_01
Who closes?
6
SPEAKER_01
Who?
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, Dave closes.
6
SPEAKER_01
I don t want to touch that because he s because he s David Spade.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, he s fucking David Spade.
6
SPEAKER_00
He s my favorite comedian.
6
SPEAKER_00
I start sounding like him by the end of the week.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s the joy of working with him is I absorb his funniness a little bit and I can spin it.
6
SPEAKER_00
I totally steal his cadence, not even intentionally.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s like when Madonna starts sounding British.
6
SPEAKER_00
You just hang out enough and you just can t help but be funnier around him.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then I get to
6
SPEAKER_00
it s, you know, when you re on the road, you just like, after you get off stage, I have to go do a meet and greet and I m kind of alone.
6
SPEAKER_00
And, but this, after I get off stage, I just get to go watch my favorite comedian.
6
SPEAKER_00
And like, they re, they re doing stuff that I requested.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like I get to put in requests and it s so fun.
6
SPEAKER_02
And I look at Nikki and mention her half the time because she likes to joke.
6
SPEAKER_02
I look over and go, okay.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s so fun.
6
SPEAKER_00
Um, and we go out to dinner beforehand and, um, it s just a great weekend.
6
SPEAKER_02
It makes it a weekend I look forward to and we do it about
6
SPEAKER_02
four or five times.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, when you re solo on the road, really solo.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s a little lonely.
6
SPEAKER_01
You re in the day of the hotel is so long.
6
SPEAKER_01
And what do I do?
6
SPEAKER_01
So if you do have another person there, the whole energy you come out.
6
SPEAKER_01
I remember playing there was playing a big casino with Dennis and it was starting at eight.
6
SPEAKER_01
And it s one of those things where they come in later.
6
SPEAKER_01
But we we picked out the curtain and all the chairs were empty.
6
SPEAKER_01
It was like 7.58 and he goes, Christ sakes, Carvey, are we three dog night all this time?
6
SPEAKER_01
It s like, so Dennis, then they rush in, they re finishing their drinks and they rush in and we were okay.
6
SPEAKER_01
But at that moment, you know.
6
SPEAKER_02
All right, we gotta let Nikki go.
6
SPEAKER_02
So you got Jimmy Kimmel tonight.
6
SPEAKER_01
What s your first line?
6
SPEAKER_01
You sit down, your first joke.
6
SPEAKER_00
I ll probably, like I ve been, I ll probably thank him for sending me an email because he, that ll get us into some areas.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I really do want to thank him because he wrote me a really nice email when he didn t need to and he s a busy man.
6
SPEAKER_00
So I ll probably do that.
6
SPEAKER_00
Ingratiate myself.
6
SPEAKER_01
Ingratiation, good.
6
SPEAKER_00
Maybe talk about my spray tan, something, I don t know.
6
SPEAKER_00
I always comment on, just try to get it, kick it off.
6
SPEAKER_02
Whatever s going on to settle in, just settle in.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Well, make a joke about how I m trying to dress like Dua Lipa, like the outfit I m wearing.
6
SPEAKER_00
I just I m who do I think I am?
6
SPEAKER_00
Something like that.
6
SPEAKER_01
Love it.
6
SPEAKER_01
OK, find out if you want to set my VCR.
6
SPEAKER_00
I watched you last night, Spade on Kimmel.
6
SPEAKER_00
I guess you were on like a month ago or something like that.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I watched your set to like be inspired because you are always so great on those.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I watched you before Howard, too.
6
SPEAKER_00
I did Howard yesterday and I was like,
6
SPEAKER_00
What s the vibe I want to go into with Howard?
6
SPEAKER_00
Like my ideal Howard is a spade Howard.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I didn t nail that, but I definitely listened to you beforehand to like get in the right state of mind.
6
SPEAKER_00
So all those take work.
6
SPEAKER_02
The talk shows you got to those are things you got to plan out a little bit.
6
SPEAKER_02
Absolutely.
6
SPEAKER_02
Realize that you got to you can t just flounder and just go, I m so interesting.
6
SPEAKER_02
You re like, nope.
6
SPEAKER_00
And you got to have a plan and learn that the hard way as well.
6
SPEAKER_00
Won t do that again.
6
SPEAKER_01
I ll just leave it at the business side of my head.
6
SPEAKER_01
My final comment is that you re still penetrating the market, not a sexual bond, and you re you re growing your brand.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I do think this special.
6
SPEAKER_01
coupled with the roast and the spot you were in and how you killed.
6
SPEAKER_01
So it s just kind of cool.
6
SPEAKER_01
You are like your own company and it s just doing very well.
6
SPEAKER_00
Thank you, Dana.
6
SPEAKER_00
That means so much to me.
6
SPEAKER_00
And like just, uh, yeah, the fact that I know both of you is true.
6
SPEAKER_00
I said it on tiger belly yesterday is, um,
6
SPEAKER_00
is an achievement of my career is like getting to know.
6
SPEAKER_00
Well, you were my favorite.
6
SPEAKER_01
David told you that because David would go to dinners and stuff and people would visit.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then you were always the easiest person to go to dinner with you once.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then we had such a great talk.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then, yeah, I felt like I like was friends with you afterwards.
6
SPEAKER_00
It just took one hour and it was it was amazing.
6
SPEAKER_00
That was one of the best nights of my life.
6
SPEAKER_00
It was so cool.
6
SPEAKER_01
I d love to do it again.
6
SPEAKER_00
I would, too.
6
SPEAKER_00
It felt like it today.
6
SPEAKER_00
Thank you guys for having me.
6
SPEAKER_01
Pleasure.
6
SPEAKER_01
Bye sweetheart.
6
SPEAKER_02
Bye guys.
6
SPEAKER_02
Enjoy yourself.
6
SPEAKER_00
Bye.
6
SPEAKER_02
This has been a presentation of Odyssey.
6
SPEAKER_02
Please follow, subscribe, leave a like, a review, all this stuff.
6
SPEAKER_02
Smash that button, whatever it is, wherever you get your podcasts.
6
SPEAKER_02
Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment and Heather Santoro.
6
SPEAKER_02
The show s lead producer is Greg Holtzman.