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Fulfillment in my soul every day and that s why I continue to be committed to habit number one Which is the vision and staying true to that vision and in a New York Times article by Tara Parker Pope She wrote that several studies suggest that supporting others helps buffer our bodies against the detrimental effects of stress and
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And a five-year study of 846 people in Detroit found that stressful life events appeared to take a greater toll on people who were less helpful to others, while helping others seemed to erase the detrimental physical effects of stressful experiences.
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Now, for me, that is crazy to think that those who were more self-centered, who weren t focusing outward and trying to help other people,
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Those that were only thinking about themselves, not helping others, had more physical pain and ailments based on the stressful environment.
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Whereas those who were focusing out, that started to go away.
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And for me, that says something about how service is truly important in our lives.
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Habit number four is a big one, something I do all the time is to express gratitude and appreciation.
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This may seem like so basic.
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This may seem like the dumbest thing because it s so simple, but it will transform and change your life.
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And when we appreciate everything that we already have, not focusing on all the things that we don t have, but appreciate the things we already have, it puts us in a mindset of abundance.
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rather than scarcity.
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And this is huge because gratitude drowns out negativity and it brings positivity into our lives.
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It puts us into perspective in the moment of what is meaningful, what we have created, what we have, the people in our life right now.
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And we can channel that positive energy into everything we re doing and we can shift that positive energy into our vision and our mission.
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And I can t speak for everyone, but gratitude has been life-changing for me.
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It s something again that I do every day.
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It s a non-negotiable when I wake up.
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It s on my voicemail when someone calls me, I say, tell me what you re grateful for and I ll get back to you.
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In our team meetings, we talk about it.
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When we start a meeting, what are you grateful for today?
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It s just something when I go to bed at night, I express three things I m grateful for.
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All these things help me continue to stay in the present moment, not focused on the past of what I did or how mistakes I made, not worry about the future, but really be present.
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And that s the key to being happy is focusing on what you have right now and the people in your life.
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And many other psychologists that I ve interviewed on this show tell me that gratitude is proven to create a happier life.
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This isn t just some fluffy woo-woo, you know, personal development thing.
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This is now science.
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It s been researched, it s been studied and proven that gratitude decreases depression, increases happiness in people s lives.
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So don t let gratitude be something you just do from time to time or once in a while or on a holiday or Thanksgiving.
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You need to find time and place to do it every single day.
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And the more you do it, the more frequently you do it, the happier, healthier, more fulfilled you will be.
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And it ll put your life in perspective.
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It ll get you out of the things you don t have and focus on things you do have.
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The simplest way to do that is just to add gratitude to the start of something you re already doing.
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We talked about this, what will I do?
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We do it before team meetings.
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You could do it while you re making coffee.
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You could do it right before you eat every meal.
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You could do it when you wake up, when you go to bed.
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Whatever you re about to start something, have a moment.
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It could be five seconds.
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I m grateful for this moment.
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I m grateful for this thing.
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I m grateful I have this.
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And really be intentional on that.
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Spend a few minutes.
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And use that time wisely to express gratitude.
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For me, again, I wake up every morning and I express the things that I m grateful for.
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I really just wake up and say thank you.
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Thank you for another day.
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Thank you for my health.
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Thank you for the people in my life.
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Thank you for the challenging times that have helped me grow and improve myself.
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I try to just say thank you for it all.
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And that really supports me in the day.
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And you ll be able to love deeper, you ll create more light for other people, and you ll appreciate the little things around you more than ever.
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I m telling you, a ritual of gratitude will change your life.
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Again, it seems so basic, it might seem like so...
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You know, this is not some crazy life hack or some thing, some app or something that s going to switch something on in your brain.
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This is just going back to the basics to help you improve your happiness.
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Habit number five is to create healthy relationships with boundaries.
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I didn t know what a boundary was until really a few years ago in certain areas of my life.
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and personal boundaries are essential in healthy relationships because they provide the foundation for your expectations, behavior, and how you communicate with others.
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Sometimes setting the limits can be challenging and difficult, especially if you want everyone to be happy around you.
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Now raise your hands if you are a recovering people pleaser like me and you want everyone to like you.
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You want everyone to be happy around you.
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You don t want anyone to ever be mad at you for anything.
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That s been me pretty much my entire life up until recently when I created, when I learned how to create healthy boundaries and know that I m going to disappoint people.
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But the most important person that I m not going to disappoint is myself.
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And I was always abandoning myself to try to please others.
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And I was hurting myself in the process and you should never hurt yourself.
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You obviously don t want to hurt others, but you should never hurt yourself.
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And we often react differently.
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When we don t get what we want or when what is happening around us isn t what we expected when that expectation kind of hangover happens to us.
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Results in frustration or hurt feelings.
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I know.
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I know the feeling.
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You expect someone to say something or do something and they don t do it.
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You get let down and it hurts.
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That s why communication is so important.
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And whether it s an intimate relationship, a family member, a business relationship, when the boundaries we have set are not met, we feel violated.
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Or for myself, I felt abused, taken advantage of, and all these different things.
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And that doesn t feel good.
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I understand those feelings.
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They don t feel good.
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So when you create a standard, create a boundary, you ve got to communicate and talk about your expectations in that communication process.
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Sometimes this can be extremely challenging and difficult conversations, especially if you ve never done in the past.
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And oftentimes boundaries are not discussed and that can cause bitterness and resentment.
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And if you take the proactive approach by discussing boundaries with your partner,
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You can avoid a lot of that pain and stress and disaster.
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So I highly encourage you to be willing to be uncomfortable in those boundary conversations.
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And I loved this moment that I had when I interviewed Nedra Tawwab and she said, she s like the boundary expert.
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And she said, when we think about boundaries, we think about them as something with someone else.
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But a boundary could be a morning routine, a boundary could be having some quiet time after lunch.
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It s not just all these things that we need other people to do.
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It s also what we need to do with ourselves.
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And I think it s so important for us to reflect on what are the boundaries we re keeping with ourselves?
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Not about significant others or family or friends.
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What are the boundaries of integrity you re keeping with yourself?
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So think about that for yourself and the boundaries you want to set in the specific relationships in your life.
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And really, are any of them being crossed already?
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What are the places in your life where you feel like boundaries are already being crossed?
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Make a list.
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Write these down.
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And are you not respecting the boundaries yourself?
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Are you crossing boundaries that you shouldn t be crossing with someone else in your life?
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It s a difficult thing to do, especially if you ve never really thought about them.
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But when I began setting boundaries in my life, as well as started to hear about the importance of them from different therapists and psychologists that we ve interviewed on the show, it made a huge difference in my emotional, mental, physical well-being as well.
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Because really, when you think about boundaries, you know, when an emotional, mental, spiritual boundary feels crossed, you almost feel it in your body.
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I know I did.
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I would feel tightness, tension, I would have like,
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eczema flare-ups when a boundary was crossed and I didn t know how to handle it.
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And you feel the boundary being crossed emotionally and it physically manifests.
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So this will continue to help you be happier and physically healthier when you create boundaries, which leads me into habit number six.
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which is to take care of your physical health.
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Workout, eat clean, physical and mental health.
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The emotional and mental stress can really lean into the physical damage if we don t have a clean, healthy relationship with the mental and emotional side of ourselves, creating boundaries and all that other stuff.
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But taking care of your body consistently, moving your body, exercising is so important for your overall physical and mental health.
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We ve had so many different experts come on and talk about the research and the science of how physical movement increases happiness, increases dopamine, makes you feel more confident, all these things.
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Being stagnant for two weeks and not moving your body will make you feel less and less confident, make you feel weak, and all those different feelings will create stress and anxiety in your life.
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When you don t exercise, you re not giving your body the clarity it needs.
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It s not cleansing itself.
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It s not moving.
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And you ve got to move in order to get you closer towards your desired goals as well.
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So you ve got to think about these things.
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What does your body need?
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It s something that I ve started talking about more and more as I ve started to integrate this more and more in my life.
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And I started taking boxing lessons a couple times a week six months ago, and it s transformed my physical and mental health.
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You might have to reassess, like, are the physical activities I m doing right now supporting me?
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or do I need to mix it up?
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Do I need to try something new?
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Do I need a new challenge?
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That s what I did with boxing.
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I ve been able to lift and run and play sports my whole life, but I felt like I needed something to shift me physically, and boxing was something I d never done, something that was challenging, it s mental, it s emotional and physical, and it s one of the hardest workouts I ve ever done.
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So I go early in the morning and I do that because that s been huge for me because it means I can take care of the most important and often the hardest things first,
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which set up the rest of my day for success.
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And when I finish a workout early in the morning and I realize, wow, there s still a lot of people that are asleep who haven t gotten up, who haven t done anything, and I m finishing one of the hardest things of the day for me.
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This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.
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Getting to know yourself can be a lifelong process, especially because we re always growing and changing.
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And therapy is all about deepening your self-awareness and your understanding.
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Because sometimes we don t know what we want or why we react the way we do until we talk through things.
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and BetterHelp connects you with a licensed therapist who can take you on that journey of self-discovery from wherever you are.
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If you re thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try.
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Therapy is so important, and it s been a game changer for me, and I think it ll be a big game changer for you as well.
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Even if you re at a really solid spot mentally, it s good practice to have therapy as part of your routine.
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That way you are prepared when obstacles do show up.
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And I always feel so much more ready for the things life throws my way while I m consistent with my personal sessions.
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that brings me joy, that makes me a better human, that makes me feel more confident, makes me feel happier, that detoxes things that I need to let go of.
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When I do that, I feel like, wow, what s next?
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What is there that I need to do?
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I can do anything.
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Bring it to me.
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I will take on the world today.
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And when you start the day with that momentum, I really support you with your overall happiness.
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Now, if you re not often physically active, don t overwhelm yourself and say, I m going to do two hours a day of activity and I m going to go crazy here and I m going to sign up for all these classes because you ll burn out quick or you ll hurt yourself.
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You can start as small as just going for a 10, 20 minute walk around the block.
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five days a week and really get started.
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Just get yourself moving on the process of consistency.
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And even if you re making small progress, that progress is signaling your brain of the changes that you are wanting to make.
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And again, five, 10, 20 minutes a day will eventually be 30 and 60 minutes.
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day and it ll continue to build and compound over time.
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So don t overwhelm yourself by thinking you have to go extremely crazy right off the bat and I m gonna eat perfect seven days a week I m gonna train like a machine and I m gonna get 12 hours of sleep and all these things you re probably not gonna be able to sustain that within two weeks.
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But getting started and being consistent is the key.
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So anything is better than nothing when it comes to moving your body.
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And the next thing is really to focus on your diet.
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I know when I m not eating clean consistently, I kind of take the 80-20 approach for nutrition and food.
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80% of the time I try to eat as clean and healthy and organic as possible.
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20% of the time I m traveling the weekends.
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I have more sugar and desserts and things that I know aren t the best for fuel for my body, but they taste good and I give myself that balance.
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And you can work out all you want, but you can t outwork your mouth.
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That s for sure.
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You cannot outwork your mouth.
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You can train for an hour and then if you re having all this cakes and cookies, it s not going to do anything for you.
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you re actually not doing any favors for yourself.
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You might be maintaining, but you re not really improving.
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And our guests all the time talk about eating things like, I ve asked so many different scientists, doctors, and nutritionists about the top food you should be eating.
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And they all consistently say blueberries, foods that are high in omega-3 fatty acids like salmon and walnuts and avocado oil, dark chocolate.
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The list goes on and on from there.
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Leafy greens, all that stuff.
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Eating more of those things adding more of those things into your your body Will support you and you don t want to put in so much effort and your workout routine and then just go have you know alcohol and sugar and Pizza every night that s not going to really support your growth You can have cheap meals in moderation or you can just call it balanced meals in moderation If you don t want to call it cheap meals, I do the balanced 80 20, uh kind of percent rule
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And having a clean diet, but having a clean diet will not only serve you physically in your health, but also in your mental health.
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Because we ve talked about so many different experts that have come on and share that the foods that actually increase your mental health and affect your mood.
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We ve had a lot of these different doctors and nutritionists come on and talk about that.
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And when you re eating poorly, it can increase the feelings of depression, anxiety, and stress.
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And I believe we re starting to really understand more about how much our diet really affects us.
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How much food really can either hurt us or heal us.
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So for your future self, it s best if you focus not only on putting your body through the workouts, but also giving your body the cleanest foods possible to eat.
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Which brings me to habit number seven, the power of breathing.
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This is something that I really started to practice in sports.
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but didn t start to really learn how to, I wouldn t say I call myself a master at this, but I really didn t start to learn how to master breathing until five years ago when I went to India to study for two weeks meditation and then becoming a meditation instructor.
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And then from there, meeting with Wim Hof and doing the Wim Hof breathing techniques, then interviewing James Nestor, talking about breathing, Andrew Huberman,
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the famous neuroscientist from Stanford who talks about breathing and the brain and how it connects to the brain and the body connection.
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And really the deeper I ve gone down this rabbit hole of learning about the mastery of breathing and applying it to myself, I ve noticed incredible results.
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And it s like I m noticing it quicker and quicker.
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So it s been really helping me improve my peace, improve my mental health, improve my mood, just with breathing.
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And that is a powerful tool.
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You don t need...
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Anything you don t need to buy anything.
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You don t need to Eat anything.
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You don t need to do anything different in a few moments.
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You can change the way you feel through your breath and breathing is the number one way to give your mind a reset and
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and to get you back into a balanced, peaceful state.
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When you re nervous, stressed out, feeling overwhelmed, or catching yourself overthinking something or overanalyzing, breathing exercises can help you get back to calm and control.
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And that s what this is all about.
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The power of breath is that it lets you steer your energy.
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It lets you get back onto habit number one, your vision, as opposed to being distracted, stressed, and overwhelmed.
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And I did this as an athlete.
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I would do this going up for big moments in a game in football.
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Breathe slowly.
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You know, I ve had different sports psychologists come on and talk about how in practice, you want to actually get yourself up and practice like it s a game.
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And when you re in a game time situation, you want to slow down because you have so much adrenaline.
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You want to calm and slow down.
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So I do that as an athlete before I get on stage.
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Right before, I really tried to think about how do I slow it down because I know when the lights turn on, when the music gets on, I m gonna be hyped, I m gonna be pumped.
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But how do I slow down so I can communicate my message effectively as opposed to being all anxious and excited about it?
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So I wanna share three steps to properly help yourself incorporate breathing into your day today.
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Number one is to bring awareness to your breath.
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So really just think about it and bring awareness.
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And when we re breathing all the time,
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All day long we re breathing, but we re rarely paying attention to it.
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We hardly really think about it.
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But when we think about it, by taking a moment to bring your awareness to your breath, just as it is, you can get out of your head and into the present moment.
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So when you re focused on breathing, and that s all you focus on,
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and see how it feels in your body, see how it feels in your mind and your heart and see how it s naturally calming your heart rate.
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You can actually feel your heart rate go down and you put your attention on that activity for 60 seconds.
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You can eliminate other distractions by putting attention on that and get