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SPEAKER_01
My name is Lee Hawkins.
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I ve been a journalist for over 25 years.
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On my new podcast, What Happened in Alabama, I get answers to some of the hardest questions about how things came to be for many black Americans and the truth that must come before any reconciliation can happen.
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SPEAKER_01
I investigate my family history, my upbringing in Minnesota, and my father s painful nightmares about growing up in Alabama.
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SPEAKER_01
What Happened in Alabama is a new series confronting the cycles of trauma for myself, my family, and for many Black Americans.
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SPEAKER_01
Listen now.
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SPEAKER_04
Listeners, it s the last day of November.
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SPEAKER_04
Winter starts tomorrow.
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SPEAKER_04
Christmas is just around the corner.
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And speaking of Christmas, one of the best gifts I ever got was from my wife, Stephanie.
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She got me just a card, and in the card, it said she had donated to a place called Home, which was something I had mentioned to her in passing that
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I just really, really loved what they were all about and that I was interested in finding out more of what they did and maybe going down in person.
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SPEAKER_04
That was right before the pandemic.
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SPEAKER_04
Yeah, it was Christmas of 2019.
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And I truly burst into tears.
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I was so touched that she remembered
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that I had said that, and I know it probably sounds corny to some, but it was really one of the best gifts I had ever received.
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And it s reminding me as I m talking about it that I want to follow up and check out what they re doing.
0
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This is not an ad for this charity.
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This is truly just one of my favorite gifts ever.
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It was a non-commercial way to make the holidays
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very, very memorable.
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I would love to encourage whoever s listening to do the same or give back if you can or you feel like it.
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I m actually just looking at their website.
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A Place Called Home provides a safe
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nurturing environment with proven programs in arts, education, and wellness for the young people in South Central LA to help them improve their economic conditions and develop healthy, fulfilling, and purposeful lives.
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There you go.
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And I hope everybody s hanging in there.
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It s a great time of year for a lot and a not-so-great time for others.
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And I m wishing you all the best.
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Now, on to my conversation with Roy Wood Jr.
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What s the name of the song again?
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SPEAKER_04
I m Too Sexy.
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You know that, I m too sexy for your love.
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SPEAKER_04
I can t even believe I m singing this.
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For my shirt, I m too sexy.
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SPEAKER_02
So sexy.
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SPEAKER_04
Yeah, that s what it is.
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SPEAKER_04
For my pants.
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So sexy.
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SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
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This is Don t Ask Tig.
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I m Tig Notaro, here to remind you that when it comes to giving advice, I m an imperfect messenger.
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With me now is a standup comedian, producer, and actor.
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SPEAKER_04
He s a correspondent on The Daily Show.
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SPEAKER_04
You ve seen him in movies like Confess Fletch and shows like Better Call Saul, Only Murders in the Building, and Space Force.
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SPEAKER_04
His most recent standup special on Comedy Central is Imperfect Messenger.
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SPEAKER_04
Roy Wood Jr., welcome to Don t Ask Tig.
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SPEAKER_02
Hello, hello.
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SPEAKER_02
Thank you for this invitation to ruin strangers  lives.
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SPEAKER_04
How are you gonna ruin people s lives?
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SPEAKER_04
You don t give good advice?
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SPEAKER_02
Well, you know, I m always nervous about advice because I never know if I have enough information to help people with stuff.
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And then, you know, you know how it is as a comic, when a young comic does, well, what should I do?
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And I m just like, hey,
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I can only tell you what worked for me.
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And I had different factors.
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SPEAKER_04
Yes, indeed.
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SPEAKER_04
Well, I feel like maybe these people s lives are already ruined.
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And so we re just going to step in and keep things the same for them or make them slightly better.
0
SPEAKER_02
I like that.
0
SPEAKER_02
I like that plan.
0
SPEAKER_02
It s like bringing a single paper towel when someone spilled their drink.
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SPEAKER_02
It s like it didn t get it all up, but I helped.
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SPEAKER_04
Yeah, at least now the paper towel is red.
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SPEAKER_04
That s all that I can offer.
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SPEAKER_04
Well, before we get into the advice, though, some major changes are happening over at The Daily Show.
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SPEAKER_02
Oh, Lord, yes.
0
SPEAKER_04
Trevor Noah is stepping down and you re on this very short list of people who could take over.
0
SPEAKER_04
Does that interest you?
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SPEAKER_02
My name s in the hat, like, that s an honor.
0
SPEAKER_02
You know, we worked seven years at something, and for anybody to think that I could do it at another level, you know, sure.
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SPEAKER_02
Would I want to?
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SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
0
SPEAKER_02
That s a hard job.
0
SPEAKER_02
Like, I m just being honest.
0
SPEAKER_02
Like, if you look at anybody that does television four and five nights a week, look at before and after pictures of Jon Stewart.
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SPEAKER_02
I don t know if I want that for myself, you know?
0
SPEAKER_04
I m always looking at before and after pictures of Jon Stewart.
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SPEAKER_04
That s my go-to when I have downtime.
0
SPEAKER_02
I mean, it s...
0
SPEAKER_02
I can t remember who said it, but you know, the Daily Show is a really nice sports car.
0
SPEAKER_02
And if somebody offers you a sports car, you have to at least consider it.
0
SPEAKER_02
I don t know if I can drive stick or not, but maybe I might be willing to learn.
0
SPEAKER_02
But it definitely was like a bit of a splash of cold water when he stepped down.
0
SPEAKER_02
It was definitely like, what?
0
SPEAKER_02
Oh yeah, you re a standup comedian under 40.
0
SPEAKER_02
You still have goals and things that you want to explore.
0
SPEAKER_02
And oh, got it, man.
0
SPEAKER_02
Go ahead, go do your thing.
0
SPEAKER_04
So you were completely shocked.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I thought for sure that he would hang at least through the next presidential election.
0
SPEAKER_02
I do know that however they decide to figure this out, I think as a correspondent, you have to figure out, you know, what you wanna be a part of and what you don t wanna be a part of.
0
SPEAKER_02
But, you know, as long as I have an outlet to talk the shit I wanna talk.
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the way I want to talk it.
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I think I ll have a place on television, even if it s not as a host, even if I m working under whoever else they decide to grab.
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In that regard, I m perfectly fine with that as well.
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I mean, hell, I would even throw Robin Thede s name.
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in the hat.
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SPEAKER_02
I know she did the rundown on BET, but I wonder if she would be willing to come back to late night.
0
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But, you know, for as long as I have a place where I can do what I enjoy doing the way I want to do it, which is ultimately what Trevor promised me, and that s what he delivered on, you know, I m cool with that.
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You know, you have people like Hassan, Jordan Klepper, Jessica Williams.
0
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I guess Louis Black, even though Louis Black is more legacy daily.
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SPEAKER_02
Like, Louis Black is like the guy you get with the building.
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SPEAKER_02
Like, if you take this job, it s just, yeah, that s Lewis.
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He lives upstairs.
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He s been here since Greg Kilborne.
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Yeah, just let him come down once a month.
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Let him yell.
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He ll go back upstairs.
0
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Yeah, let s not complain about the noise you hear up there.
0
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But you know, Lewis Black is a great example of somebody that now has crossed three hosts.
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But when you look at his segment, it hasn t changed.
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He s been able to be Lewis.
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So if I m extended that grace, I don t see why I wouldn t want to hang around.
0
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It s one of the best jobs in comedy.
0
SPEAKER_04
In an interview, you had said that the late-night world is in a, quote, creative molting phase.
0
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Absolutely.
0
SPEAKER_04
Can you expand on that?
0
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Absolutely.
0
SPEAKER_02
I don t know how much you re on TikTok.
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SPEAKER_04
Zero.
0
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I keep forgetting.
0
SPEAKER_02
You give your social media accounts away to your friends.
0
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, I don t even have my password or code or whatever it is to get in there.
0
SPEAKER_02
Run your social like an Airbnb.
0
SPEAKER_02
Just hand it over to strangers.
0
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I think that what late night has been up until this point stylistically has to evolve to a degree because I think the consumer has caught up with it.
0
SPEAKER_02
Like there s regular people who do man on the street now.
0
SPEAKER_02
They have these little tiny microphone.
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SPEAKER_05
Yeah.
0
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that you can USB into your iPhone or whatever.
0
SPEAKER_02
And it s just regular people doing man-on-the-street interview chit-chat type stuff.
0
SPEAKER_02
And these people, they don t have a degree in journalism.
0
SPEAKER_02
They didn t learn under some improv tutelage.
0
SPEAKER_02
It s just people being funny.
0
SPEAKER_02
Even people doing this lit screen and talking about something on one side of the screen, or green-screening themselves into something that s going on behind them.
0
SPEAKER_02
The general public is starting to catch up creatively to what TV has been up until this point.
0
SPEAKER_02
So I think it s time for a level up.
0
SPEAKER_02
What does that look like?
0
SPEAKER_02
What does that feel like?
0
SPEAKER_02
So we have to evolve and be better than what s currently out there.
0
SPEAKER_02
And if you re producing anything on television that looks and feels like what somebody could do with their iPhone and an hour of free time,
0
SPEAKER_02
then it s time for an evolution.
0
SPEAKER_02
I also think it s time to start thinking of people as the celebrity and not celebrities.
0
SPEAKER_02
Like, we still have celebrities, but in my opinion, I don t think we have them the way we did 10, 20 years ago, you know?
0
SPEAKER_04
Right.
0
SPEAKER_04
I won t take this personally.
0
SPEAKER_02
I think that when you look at a lot of trends that are set, be it what s the cool word to say, or what s the cool phrase, or what s the cool dance, it s not celebrity setting those trends, it s regular everyday people, and then other regular everyday people spreading that stuff around.
0
SPEAKER_02
So I think late night has to figure out a way to plug into that.
0
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There has to be something
0
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That includes and recognizes regular everyday people as having something of worth to contribute to our society and to our zeitgeist and not just treating them solely as consumers.
0
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, I agree.
0
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And I actually, the question always comes up about people, as you re talking about that are putting things on YouTube and social media and whatever, and they re in middle America.
0
SPEAKER_04
And I don t think it s that crazy.
0
SPEAKER_04
Some people act like it s insane that there are such funny people out there in the world and you just didn t even know or talented musicians and they just live in middle America and they re uploading things and it s like,
0
SPEAKER_04
Not everyone that made it to New York or L.A.
0
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is the most talented or interesting person alive.
0
SPEAKER_02
Some are just the most driven, some are just the most connected, you know?
0
SPEAKER_02
And it s a lot of different perspectives.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_04
Well, it s gonna be very, very interesting to see what comes of all these huge changes because, I mean, obviously, the networks, they know they can t just keep recycling the same thing.
0
SPEAKER_04
And so...
0
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We ll see what comes of that.
0
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But in the meantime, I personally feel like based on the interviews that you ve done, you probably have some point of view that can help our listeners today, Roy.
0
SPEAKER_02
I think I can.
0
SPEAKER_04
Are you ready for the main event?
0
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
0
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To give these listeners advice?
0
SPEAKER_02
I am ready to help.
0
SPEAKER_04
All right, Roy, this first question is about a highly controversial domestic subject, the thermostat.
0
SPEAKER_04
Mariella writes, dearest Tig, my husband keeps setting the AC temp to 78, which is too hot for me.
0
SPEAKER_04
He does this at night when I m sleeping and I m usually in our four-year-old daughter s room because she can t sleep without me.
0
SPEAKER_04
In her room, the AC doesn t work very well, so it feels like it s 80 degrees and I wake up sweating.
0
SPEAKER_04
I ve asked him many times to please leave the AC at a lower temperature, even 75 to 76 is fine, just not 78.
0
SPEAKER_04
But every morning I wake up and it s set to 78.
0
SPEAKER_04
I have threatened to divorce him because of this.
0
SPEAKER_04
How do I get through to him?
0
SPEAKER_02
I have a simple solution.
0
SPEAKER_04
Oh, good.
0
SPEAKER_04
What is it?
0
SPEAKER_02
because I once lived with a woman with whom I was not thermostatically compatible.
0
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_02
First of all, it s kind of on you for marrying and having a baby with someone that you knew there was no thermostatic compatibility.
0
SPEAKER_02
You sacrificed that early in a relationship because you thought it would be a sacrifice you can make for the rest of your life.
0
SPEAKER_02
Physical comforts, never compromise those.
0
SPEAKER_02
Like the TV and all of that, what channel to watch, okay, you can compromise that.
0
SPEAKER_02
But things that legitimately
0
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make you happy and comfortable, physically comfortable.
0
SPEAKER_04
You re saying they should have lived together, learned this?
0
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, you gotta live in sin.
0
SPEAKER_04
That s why you should.
0
SPEAKER_04
Look, I m all for living in sin.
0
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People talk about that, you know?
0
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I m sure you re reminded of living in sin in Mississippi.
0
SPEAKER_02
I m sure they tell you every day when they see you.
0
SPEAKER_04
I mean, luckily, my family is not like that.
0
SPEAKER_04
But I do have this issue in my own relationship.
0
SPEAKER_02
For me, the issue was, I m a 72.
0
SPEAKER_02
She was a no AC kind of person.
0
SPEAKER_02
What I figured out was a fan is a pretty easy compromise if you just kind of mount something close to the bed.
0
SPEAKER_02
Also, you might be able to trick your husband with new linen that is a little more breathable, that doesn t trap in every ounce of body heat, duvets and feathers and all of that.
0
SPEAKER_02
Get that out of there.
0
SPEAKER_02
Get something a little thinner.
0
SPEAKER_04
Well, and keep in mind, she s sleeping with her daughter.
0
SPEAKER_04
That s what I m tripping up on, is I m thinking if she has threatened divorce over the temperature in the house, and every night she s sleeping in her daughter s room, I feel like there s much deeper issues going on, because I understand kids have trouble sleeping.
0
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Oh, absolutely.
0
SPEAKER_04
I think you need to back up and figure out a way to not be sleeping in your daughter s bed every night.
0
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_02
But even once you fix that, if you re happy you re sleeping away from this person because their body heat is taking you over 80 degrees, at some point you have to go back into that room.
0
SPEAKER_02
So whatever lovey-dovey issues have been fixed that you now want to be back in the room, the house is still 77 degrees and that s going to be an issue.
0
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, that s where you can apply the breathable sheets, the fan.
0
SPEAKER_04
You make sure that the person that is hot is sleeping with no clothes on.
0
SPEAKER_04
The person that s cold, wear another layer.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, long pants, pajamas.
0
SPEAKER_02
Like, there are definitely attire changes that could be made.
0
SPEAKER_02
You know, if he s sleeping in his drawers, give him, see if he ll sleep in pants in exchange for a sub-75 home.
0
SPEAKER_02
Right.
0
SPEAKER_02
Because you re not asking for a lot.
0
SPEAKER_02
But if they are not willing to compromise with you on this, it is a bigger red flag to a lot of bigger issues because they are not putting your comfort at any point in any consideration.
0
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, you both need to find some happy medium.
0
SPEAKER_04
And you both need to be walking towards each other.
0
SPEAKER_02
That s so beautifully put.
0
SPEAKER_02
That s beautiful.
0
SPEAKER_04
It s true.
0
SPEAKER_04
That s what my wife and I have been working on as well because I get hot flashes real bad.
0
SPEAKER_04
And I can t get rid of that.
0
SPEAKER_04
I m 51.
0
SPEAKER_04
This is, you know, it s happening.
0
SPEAKER_04
And we re both trying
0
SPEAKER_02
Walking towards each other.
0
SPEAKER_02
I m gonna steal that.
0
SPEAKER_02
I like that.
0
SPEAKER_04
I just made it up in the moment.
0
SPEAKER_04
You gotta be walking towards each other.
0
SPEAKER_04
So Mariela, I hope that advice helps you bring down the temperature on your marital problems.
0
SPEAKER_02
Put him in pajamas, get yourself a fan.
0
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_04
Roy, it s time for a quick break, but don t go anywhere because we ll be right back with more questions.
0
SPEAKER_04
Hi, I m Tig Notaro, and I d like to tell you about Comedy Gives Back, the safety net for the entire comedy community.
0
SPEAKER_04
Stand-up comedians may work alone, but that doesn t mean they should feel alone.
0
SPEAKER_04
That s where Comedy Gives Back comes in and helps with mental health services, crisis support,
0
SPEAKER_04
chemical dependency treatment, and more.
0
SPEAKER_04
Visit comedygivesback.com or text LAUGH to 70-70-70 to donate today and help give comedians more than applause.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m Ben Nadafafri, host of the history show The Last Archive, and I want to tell you about a new series we re running in our feed.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s called The Deadline, six essays written and read by Jill Lepore, the New Yorker writer, American historian, and founding host of our show.
0
SPEAKER_00
These are incredible essays on everything from the history of cryogenics to the Silicon Valley gospel of disruption.
0
SPEAKER_00
And at the end of each essay, I interview Jill about her craft as a writer.
0
SPEAKER_00
You can listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
0
SPEAKER_04
And we re back.
0
SPEAKER_04
Roy, you grew up in the South.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
0
SPEAKER_04
In Alabama, right?
0
SPEAKER_02
Alabama all the way.
0
SPEAKER_04
And you also lived in Tennessee.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, we were in Memphis to the third grade.
0
SPEAKER_02
I spent every summer in Clarksdale, south of Memphis, down in Mississippi Delta.
0
SPEAKER_02
And then one day in the summer of the third grade, my mother took me to my grandma s for a month in the summer like we always do.
0
SPEAKER_02
And when she picked me up, she got on I-78 eastbound to Birmingham.
0
SPEAKER_02
I m like, oh yeah, we re moving.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m like, what the f***?
1
SPEAKER_00
No goodbye to friends, no victory lap, no nothing.
1
SPEAKER_00
I just disappeared like a blip.
1
SPEAKER_00
My mom didn t give a f*** about any friendships that I had made, no bonds, no Boy Scout troop, whatever.
1
SPEAKER_03
Were you ever in touch with them again?
1
SPEAKER_03
Or did they just turn on the TV one day and was like, oh, that s where he went.
1
SPEAKER_00
I wrote one of those motherfuckers a letter for like a month and a half, and he never wrote me back.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then I went back and looked at his Facebook a couple years ago, and life didn t work out too well.
1
SPEAKER_00
We were hiring childcare for when I first had my son.
1
SPEAKER_00
And his mother and I, we had gotten a subscription to one of those background checking services.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like, I didn t trust the babysitter service.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m like, I want to know everything about you.
1
SPEAKER_00
And it s a, you know, two-month subscription.
1
SPEAKER_00
All you can search.
1
SPEAKER_00
Let s just see what friends that I ve known have been doing the last 30 years.
1
SPEAKER_00
Just let me see your credit score.
1
SPEAKER_00
Let me...
1
SPEAKER_00
Let me see your arrest history.
1
SPEAKER_00
Where d you been written, Tim?
1
SPEAKER_00
So yeah, the Memphis guy was one of the people.
1
SPEAKER_00
It didn t work out too well for him, but you know.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh my gosh.
1
SPEAKER_00
Should have wrote me back.
1
SPEAKER_00
Could have been my production partner or something.
1
SPEAKER_03
Wow.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_03
I would be so sad if that happened, if I was just uprooted.
1
SPEAKER_03
I was uprooted a lot, but I said my goodbyes.
1
SPEAKER_03
And in fact, I said my goodbyes to, sadly, a lot of people.
1
SPEAKER_03
I can t pull from my memory at all.
1
SPEAKER_03
I d be at a loss if I tried to look up people s credit scores.
1
SPEAKER_00
I have a complete disassociation with Memphis because of it.
1
SPEAKER_03
I m sure.
1
SPEAKER_03
Well, I do have a question here that combines our Southern charm to help this listener.
1
SPEAKER_03
And we do have Southern charm, me and you.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes, we do.
1
SPEAKER_00
Now that we do.
1
SPEAKER_03
That we do, okay.
1
SPEAKER_03
Ed writes, I have traveled to almost all 50 states.
1
SPEAKER_03
I still have yet to visit several parts of the South.
1
SPEAKER_03
I was wondering if there was anything I shouldn t miss when I travel to Mississippi, Arkansas, Alabama, and Tennessee.
1
SPEAKER_03
I know you are from that area and was hoping you could tell me an odd museum or like a diner that serves the best breakfast you ve ever had.
1
SPEAKER_03
If you could help me out, that d be great.
1
SPEAKER_03
Thanks.
1
SPEAKER_03
I have to say, just right off the bat, I always lead people to this coffee shop I m very proud of in Mississippi.
1
SPEAKER_03
It is called Cat Island Coffee Shop.
1
SPEAKER_03
It is a bookstore and cafe.
1
SPEAKER_03
Their coffee is incredible.
1
SPEAKER_03
I have traveled around the world.
1
SPEAKER_03
This coffee is incredible.
1
SPEAKER_03
And the bookstore is so rich, full of just Southern history, and then also, oddly, in a twist, gay books.
1
SPEAKER_03
Gay Southern books.
1
SPEAKER_00
Nice.
1
SPEAKER_03
And there s actually a gay couple that owns the bookstore.
1
SPEAKER_03
So Cat Island Bookstore, right on the Gulf Coast of Mississippi, that s where I would send people.
1
SPEAKER_03
And I also hosted a documentary film festival one year in Hot Springs, Arkansas.
1
SPEAKER_03
If you are at all into crystals,
1
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, God.
1
SPEAKER_03
Oh, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_03
Oh, God.
1
SPEAKER_03
What?
1
SPEAKER_00
You re absolutely right about that.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like, that s the place for all of that.
1
SPEAKER_00
I ve done shows and weird armpits of this country.
1
SPEAKER_00
And on the way to those armpits, I passed through hot spring.
1
SPEAKER_03
So many people would not know this.
1
SPEAKER_03
And it s really so cute and beautiful, but also I think a lot of people don t realize that there s so many crystals that come out of that area.
1
SPEAKER_03
My wife is into crystals, and therefore my sons are now into crystals, and so I m on it as far as
1
SPEAKER_03
touring and stumbling upon crystals and where to go.
1
SPEAKER_03
So there s some two little weird things that I can offer to this, which is Hot Springs, Arkansas, if you re into crystals, and then if you like a delicious cup of coffee, head over to that coffee shop.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I mean, if you want like some natural hot water bath type thing, like hot springs is good for the salt mineral baths that help exfoliate and extract the bullsh** out of your skin.
1
SPEAKER_00
You really are like exhausted after a bath in a hot spring.
1
SPEAKER_00
I can t explain it.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, and I think people wouldn t expect that to be in Arkansas, like that sort of environment.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s very Yellowstone-ish in that sense, where it s like, really, nature can do this?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_00
Nature is doing dope stuff.
1
SPEAKER_00
For Alabama, DeSoto Caverns, I enjoyed.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m trying to think of the things that I went to as a child that I really enjoyed.
1
SPEAKER_00
It sounds corny, but the NASA Flight Museum in Huntsville.
1
SPEAKER_00
Huntsville, by the way, is like a
1
SPEAKER_00
Extremely booming town.
1
SPEAKER_00
Fastest growing population-wise in the state.
1
SPEAKER_00
They re expected to catch up to Birmingham, I think, in 10 years.
1
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
1
SPEAKER_00
A lot of jobs, too.
1
SPEAKER_00
You can thank Trump for Space Force.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s a fact.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m not even joking.
1
SPEAKER_00
The creation of Space Force created a flux of jobs.
1
SPEAKER_03
Oh, my gosh.
1
SPEAKER_00
But the NASA, the Marshalls Air and Space Flight Museum is just something that I m still in awe about.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like, it s just dope to see all of these old space shuttles and modules and all of that stuff up close.
1
SPEAKER_00
You can t go wrong with barbecue.
1
SPEAKER_00
When you do get to the South, no chains, no chain restaurants.
1
SPEAKER_00
Just go hole in the wall as much as you can.
1
SPEAKER_00
And if you tweet me,
1
SPEAKER_00
tweet me a city you re headed to and I ll retweet it and you ll have five options by Sunday.
1
SPEAKER_03
That s really the fun of touring is just knowing all of those weird little places to go.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s the one thing I really regret about the first 10 years of my career is that I didn t really stop to enjoy any town that I was in because I was just so obsessed because I toured in the South and the Midwest like I didn t move to the coast for the longest
1
SPEAKER_03
When did you move to the coast?
1
SPEAKER_00
I started in 98, I moved to LA, I think in 07, 08, like it was a while.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like I would sneak out there from time to time, but like my bread and butter, like my 40 weeks a year, nah, I was coming from the South and the Midwest.
1
SPEAKER_00
And because I was still doing morning radio, I was always in a rush to get back to Birmingham because I had to be on air.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I just never really stopped anywhere unless it was like an Appleton,
1
SPEAKER_00
where they had the La Bamba Burrito, burrito the size of your head.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like, okay, that s close to the venue and I ll drunk walk to that.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s the one thing I really think that I really missed out on was just the exploration of places.
1
SPEAKER_00
I wish I d have stopped and slowed down a
1
SPEAKER_03
Well, that s good advice.
1
SPEAKER_03
Stop and slow down.
1
SPEAKER_03
I like to take a walk whenever I am in any sort of little town or city.
1
SPEAKER_03
I just check into my hotel and I wander around.
1
SPEAKER_03
I mean, unless it s plant-based, I m not a big barbecue person, but it s one of my favorite things to do is find the delicious plant-based food around any town.
1
SPEAKER_03
All right, well, Ed, enjoy your travels in the South.
1
SPEAKER_03
Send me and send one to Roy.
1
SPEAKER_03
Send us a postcard wherever you end up.
1
SPEAKER_03
And Roy, this next question comes to us from Grace in Baltimore.
1
SPEAKER_03
Grace writes, I m getting married in a few months and I m super excited about it.
1
SPEAKER_03
My fiance and I are both only children.
1
SPEAKER_03
His mother is obsessed with him.
1
SPEAKER_03
She specifically requested that they dance a waltz to I m Too Sexy by Right Said Fred.
1
SPEAKER_03
I laughed at her suggestion, but she is serious.
1
SPEAKER_03
My fiance and his friends performed together to this song in high school and she wants to recreate that with him.
1
SPEAKER_03
He seems totally cool with it.
1
SPEAKER_03
My mom told me to just let it go, but I cringe whenever I think about it.
1
SPEAKER_03
What would you do? 
1
SPEAKER_03
Well, Grace, I personally, if my wife said she wanted to dance to that song with her mother, I would be thrilled.
1
SPEAKER_03
That would make me laugh so hard.
1
SPEAKER_03
But I think that s just a part of me where I m looking for something weird to happen.
1
SPEAKER_03
Not inauthentically, but if something weird is genuinely popping up, I m all in.
1
SPEAKER_03
I want to see it happen.
1
SPEAKER_03
I feel like you can have your beautiful moment and moments on your day, but I think you got to give them, especially if he s okay with it.
1
SPEAKER_03
What do you feel, Roy?
1
SPEAKER_00
Let s get Southern for a second on this one.
1
SPEAKER_00
The wife supersedes the mom, if we want to get all into Jesus and all of that stuff.
1
SPEAKER_00
So here s the problem.
1
SPEAKER_00
If the wife stands her ground, then it s the first shot fired and what will be a long, tenuous back and forth with the mom.
1
SPEAKER_00
But if she does not stand her ground,
1
SPEAKER_00
then the mom has the ability to chump her any other time she wants.
1
SPEAKER_00
Because if her son has no backbone to stand up for, because it can be this, then it s going to be some goofy clothes for the grandkid that she wants the grandkid to wear.
1
SPEAKER_00
Then it s going to be some odd, like there s just going to be more
1
SPEAKER_00
of her inserting herself into this thing.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I know maybe I m, I don t know, maybe I m just PTSD.
1
SPEAKER_03
Listen, I agree with once you have gotten married and you are creating your own life and family, that is the most important thing.
1
SPEAKER_03
that you have to protect at all costs.
1
SPEAKER_03
That is your number one, is your spouse, your children, your house.
1
SPEAKER_03
That is it.
1
SPEAKER_03
And then from there, you move out to, okay, then I ll listen to what my parents, their opinion is, or my siblings, my friends, my coworkers, whatever.
1
SPEAKER_03
But you re
1
SPEAKER_03
your marriage and your family, that s number one.
1
SPEAKER_03
But I feel like you re still gonna have to pick your battles through life, and it can t always be, well, I m the spouse, I get this.
1
SPEAKER_03
It s not my number one choice for dancing at a wedding.
1
SPEAKER_03
I just feel like, is this what you really wanna go up against to upset the mother, the husband, and her own mother?
1
SPEAKER_03
Grace s mother is saying,
1
SPEAKER_00
Let it go.
1
SPEAKER_03
Okay, Roy and I don t agree on this.
1
SPEAKER_00
I get it.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m looking at the lyrics now.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s... I do my little turn on the catwalk.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, on the catwalk.
1
SPEAKER_00
On the catwalk.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I do my little... I m too sexy for my... All right, what if they shorten the song?
1
SPEAKER_00
Is that a middle ground?
1
SPEAKER_00
Is that less cringe?
1
SPEAKER_03
That s a middle ground.
1
SPEAKER_03
Shorten the song, but if it s fun and people are having a good time.
1
SPEAKER_03
I feel like people might be laughing and having a good time.
1
SPEAKER_03
But if you want to shorten it and cut it off...
1
SPEAKER_00
Allowing it to happen, it creates less drama down the road.
1
SPEAKER_00
Which ultimately, you want a good relationship with the mother-in-law.
1
SPEAKER_00
Is there something to saying how you feel and still allowing it?
1
SPEAKER_00
Or just giving your opinion after the fact?
1
SPEAKER_03
Well, I guess I assume that she let her husband know that she wasn t excited, but he was okay to do it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay, then let it ride.
1
SPEAKER_00
Because ultimately he s the one that s going to have to stand up to the mom and shut down certain activities and behaviors if they eventually get out of line.
1
SPEAKER_03
There you go.
1
SPEAKER_03
See, Roy, you re good.
1
SPEAKER_00
Let it ride, but I don t know, turn your head, go to the bathroom or something.
1
SPEAKER_03
Grace, whatever happens, it sounds like you re going to have a very memorable wedding.
1
SPEAKER_03
Congratulations.
1
SPEAKER_03
All right, well, Roy, the last segment we have is a simple one called Best Advice, Worst Advice.
1
SPEAKER_03
What is the best advice you ve ever been given?
1
SPEAKER_00
Advice or like life moment from which you extrapolated truth and the realism about the world and what your mission should be.
1
SPEAKER_03
Well, if you have that, let s hear it.
1
SPEAKER_00
I have that.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, sure.
1
SPEAKER_03
I ll take that.
1
SPEAKER_00
I worked daily pay jobs when I was on the road.
1
SPEAKER_00
So like in those days you would get booked to like work like a club for like six days a week.
1
SPEAKER_00
Back when comedy clubs was open five, six days.
1
SPEAKER_03
Oh, I know the days.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
The good old days of making money.
1
SPEAKER_00
So if I was in a city for more than three days, I would get a day job while I was there.
1
SPEAKER_03
No.
1
SPEAKER_00
If I couldn t go back and do radio.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
What am I doing all day other than playing my PlayStation in a hotel?
1
SPEAKER_03
What kind of job?
1
SPEAKER_00
You don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
You show up at six in the morning and you get your assignment.
1
SPEAKER_03
Okay, types of job.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, it s all, like, labor.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s all labor.
1
SPEAKER_00
At the time, I was still on probation for stealing credit cards when I was in college.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I couldn t get, like, the clerical work.
1
SPEAKER_00
I call it air-conditioned jobs.
1
SPEAKER_00
You couldn t get an air-conditioned job.
1
SPEAKER_00
So everything was outdoors.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was like, you re an extra on a construction site doing the stop, slow sign.
1
SPEAKER_03
Oh, sure.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know?
1
SPEAKER_00
Or...
1
SPEAKER_00
You know, I worked at a concrete factory, shout out to Quick Creek in Columbia, South Carolina.
1
SPEAKER_00
And on this particular day, I d gotten assigned to help build a church and they were putting the spackle on the ceiling of the church.
1
SPEAKER_00
And some of the spackle, you know, drifts down to the concrete bed of what would eventually be the sanctuary.
1
SPEAKER_00
So myself and another guy with a six inch wide scraper are scraping the spackle off the concrete floor so they can get ready to lay the carpet.
1
SPEAKER_00
And literally, like that scene in Forrest Gump, where Forrest and Bubba are like, toothbrushing a floor.
1
SPEAKER_00
And it s me and another guy, he s from Philadelphia, he just got out of prison.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he was working the job to get enough money to go to wherever he was trying to travel to or whatever.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so I just remember him saying to me one day, you know, at the time, let s just say minimum wage was maybe six bucks, you know, five, six bucks an hour.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he goes, when you come back tomorrow, make sure you ask to get this job again.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then the day after, ask for this job.
1
SPEAKER_00
Because when you come here for four days straight, they got to bump you up to $6.25 an hour.
1
SPEAKER_00
And that s good money right there.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he just went back to scraping.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s just like an OG just giving a little kid in his 20s some advice.
1
SPEAKER_00
But I just remember the calluses and the bruises and just the way my hands felt at the end of the day.
1
SPEAKER_00
And just echoing in the back of my head, this guy going, they bump you from $6 to $6.25.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s good money, mother******.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I just remember thinking to myself, I don t ever want to be 50 and in that position.
1
SPEAKER_00
I understand life happens to people for a number of reasons, but whatever I can do to make sure that I don t have to do this.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so that s when I like, man, I went back to college.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was on Dean s list the rest of the way after that.
1
SPEAKER_03
Wow.
1
SPEAKER_03
That s impressive.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that one interaction with that single person, like, literally changed the trajectory of a lot of how I approached life and college and, you know... And so, with that story and what you learned, what would you say the advice is from that story?
1
SPEAKER_00
If you work hard now, you won t have to work hard later.
1
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_03
Good advice.
1
SPEAKER_00
do the things that you need to be in life so that you don t have to do that particular thing that you don t want to do later.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know, we had a lot of talks.
1
SPEAKER_00
And you can tell, like, I had the advantage of when I was in my early 20s, I was kind of mentored in a way by a lot of just random Black men that I met along my path.
1
SPEAKER_00
And it was a lot of do this, not that type situations.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_03
What s the worst advice?
1
SPEAKER_00
I hate to put this on an agent, but I m going to.
1
SPEAKER_00
I had an agent, the first ever agency I signed with, I had an agent there and
1
SPEAKER_00
I had an idea for a show about a comedian, a young comedian that was, this is like 05.
1
SPEAKER_00
I had a show about a young comedian who was, you know, whatever, trying to get his life together.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was biographical.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he told me that nobody wants to see shows about comedians.
1
SPEAKER_00
No one cares about comedians.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s not a relevant genre.
1
SPEAKER_00
You need to do something else, but I can t take that out to market.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I let him talk me into not doing it.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then the next thing you know, for like the next decade, it s just green light after green light after green light for shows where the protagonist is a stand-up comedian.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I remember being so angry with him.
1
SPEAKER_00
And this idea that I let somebody else talk me out of my own ideas and my own instincts, when my instincts are exactly what have gotten me this far.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I had never been more disappointed in myself and upset with myself.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like, it just wasn t a good look.
1
SPEAKER_03
So you have to listen to yourself.
1
SPEAKER_03
That s pretty consistent advice that works.
1
SPEAKER_03
You know what you re supposed to do.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s like, oh, well, I shouldn t have done that.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s just funny that entertainment is weird in that you spend most of your career listening to yourself and trusting yourself so you can hire people and pay them who now think for you.
1
SPEAKER_03
I don t know if I want to go down that road.
1
SPEAKER_03
Well, you know, looking in, it seems like you re on a pretty solid path these days, sir.
1
SPEAKER_03
And so, I assume that s you now listening to yourself, taking your own advice.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_03
Which is I feel like also really good advice is to take your own advice, if I can interject there.
1
SPEAKER_03
And Roy,
1
SPEAKER_03
That s all the time we have.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, thank you.
1
SPEAKER_03
And I m so thankful that you stopped by.
1
SPEAKER_03
I saw you briefly at the Webby s.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, real high and by real covid tight, real high and by.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but very much get away from all the people host.
1
SPEAKER_03
Do you have anything you d like to promote?
1
SPEAKER_00
No, we ve already talked about everything.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m thankful to just still be working after 24 years.
1
SPEAKER_00
So, you know, the Job Fair podcast.
1
SPEAKER_00
I also host the Daily Show Beyond the Scenes podcast.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s really what we re doing right now.
1
SPEAKER_00
Daily shows at 11 o clock until December 8th.
1
SPEAKER_00
And after that, we ll see whatever happens.
2
SPEAKER_00
in 2023.
2
SPEAKER_02
I think there s probably a lot coming your way would be my guess.
2
SPEAKER_02
But again, I appreciate you taking the time to do the show and hopefully I will see you again sooner than later.
2
SPEAKER_01
Absolutely.
2
SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Don t Ask Tig is hosted by me, Tig Notaro.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s produced by Thomas Ouellette and Shana Deloria.
2
SPEAKER_02
Our executive producer and editor is Beth Perlman.
2
SPEAKER_02
Engineering and sound mixing by Alex Simpson.
2
SPEAKER_02
Digital production by James Napoli.
2
SPEAKER_02
Talent booking by Marianne Ways.
2
SPEAKER_02
Our theme music is Friend in Tig by Edie Brickell and Kyle Crusham, and Listen to Your Heart by Edie Brickell.
2
SPEAKER_02
Special thanks to Hunter Seidman.
2
SPEAKER_02
APM Studios executives in charge are Chandra Kavati, Alex Schaffert, and Joanne Griffith.
2
SPEAKER_02
Concept developed by Tracy Mumford.
2
SPEAKER_02
Our executive consultant is Dean Capello and Gobsmack Studios.
2
SPEAKER_02
You can always ask for advice at DontAskTig.org.
2
SPEAKER_02
Just write in with your problem or send us a voice memo.
2
SPEAKER_02
Remember to follow us on social media at DontAskTig.
2
SPEAKER_02
DontAskTig is a production of American Public Media.
2
SPEAKER_02
And as always, thanks Dana and I ll tell Becky.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m Christina Cauterucci, and this season on Slow Burn.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s called Proposition 6.
2
SPEAKER_00
The Briggs Initiative.
2
SPEAKER_00
John Briggs is going to fire every gay and lesbian schoolteacher in California.
2
SPEAKER_00
With so much at stake, young people became activists.
2
SPEAKER_00
We can t let this happen in California.
2
SPEAKER_00
And activists became leaders.
2
SPEAKER_01
My name is Harvey Milk and I m here to include you.
2
SPEAKER_00
Slow Burn, Season 9.
2
SPEAKER_00
Gays Against Briggs.
2
SPEAKER_00
Out now, wherever you listen.