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The following podcast is a Dear Media production.
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One thing that I do every single morning, and if I can do it at night too, I do, is dry brushing.
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I cannot get enough of dry brushing, and I cannot shut up about it.
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It s absolutely changed my life.
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So why I like it in the morning is because I do it before my kids wake up for three minutes.
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I go up under the heart and down over the heart.
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And then I ll get in a freezing cold shower for two minutes.
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And the combo of the dry brushing mixed with the freezing cold shower is seriously four shots of espresso.
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If I can t take a shower even, the dry brush just wakes you up.
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It stimulates your skin.
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It s going to give you the most buttery, soft, exfoliated skin.
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It s all the dead skin off.
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The Skinny Confidentials Dry Brush is unmatched.
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It s superior in every single way.
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Sometimes I ll bring my dry brush in the shower, and it gets wet, never molds.
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This one is like silicone.
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It s pristine.
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It s beautiful.
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It s big.
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And the bristles are super thick, so they really get all of that dead skin off.
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If you have not tried this tool, I highly recommended it.
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It took a really long time to make sure I was creating one that really gave you buttery skin.
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I wanted the skin on your body to feel like the skin on your face.
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So we have a code for you.
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Go shop the Skinny Confidential Dry Brush.
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All you have to do is use code DRYBRUSH at checkout and you get 15% off the entire site.
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Shop SkinnyConfidential.com.
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Use code DRYBRUSH.
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And I bet you John Stamos dry brushes.
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She s a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire.
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Fantastic.
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And he s a serial entrepreneur.
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A very smart cookie.
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And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostick are bringing you along for the ride.
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Get ready for some major realness.
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Welcome to The Skinny Confidential, him and her.
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I was so naive and I was a little kid from Orange County that was quite sheltered and it was all sort of a dream to me.
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And it wasn t sophisticated enough to go, okay, here s my goal and I can t move that.
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I just went with what I was given and where my life was taking me.
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I didn t overthink it.
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I wasn t that smart.
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I wasn t that introspective.
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You know, now I am, I think, you know, therapy and growing up.
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And I never thought I was smart.
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It was just one of those things where I just felt I wasn t smart enough to keep up with people.
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And I wasn t, I just wasn t, I didn t go to college and I just didn t feel very book smart.
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And then I wrote this book and it was the number four bestseller on the New York Times.
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It s like the Wizard of Oz, right?
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Like the Scarecrow.
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I said, I don t have a brain.
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But you have it.
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You just didn t, here s your diploma.
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That s what this is.
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Oh, John Stamos is on the show today.
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John Stamos, guys, I m excited.
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Michael tried to get, like, a bag for my head in this episode.
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You know John Stamos.
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Everyone knows John Stamos.
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He is famous for so many things, which we ll get into.
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But I also want to hit on something that I think is important to note about John.
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His book, if you would have told me, popped up on my Amazon Reads, and I immediately bought it because I m a fan of him.
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And from the first page, I was hooked.
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His book is so
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raw, especially for Hollywood.
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You don t always get that with Hollywood.
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You know what I mean?
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You can tell that it really is him writing it, doing it, saying it.
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Like every single page was captivating.
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It s one of those books that you just can t put down.
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And what I liked about it is it talked you through his entire childhood into his teenage years.
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It shows you where his work ethic came from.
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It talks about his journey with sobriety.
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And of course, he also goes into the unexpected death of his Full House co-star and longtime friend, his best friend, Bob Saget.
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It talks about his past marriages, his new marriage.
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It talks about all the shows he was on.
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And there s an extreme self-awareness that comes with John.
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It feels like he s in on the joke.
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And in this episode, you can feel it.
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Like he s really funny and witty.
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And there s also like this layer of massive self-awareness.
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And I appreciate that.
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And if you read the book, I think you guys will love it.
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And I do have to tell you,
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He was so fucking cool and so kind to everyone that he met at Dear Media.
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He acknowledged everyone.
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He was polite.
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He was down to earth.
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And it s not every day that a celebrity is like that.
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So John Stamos.
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John is iconic.
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You may recognize him from General Hospital, ER, Full House.
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I mean, Uncle Jesse, hello, everyone s childhood crush.
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Broadway.
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And now he is an author.
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I hope you love this episode.
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I loved it a lot.
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John Stamos, welcome to the show.
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This is The Skinny Confidential, him and her.
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John Stamos in the studio.
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I don t like being this close to a man who s so handsome it makes me look bad, Michael.
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How do you think I feel?
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I don t know.
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Hold on a second.
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I m overwhelmed that I m surrounded by the two most handsome guys I know.
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I brought a bag for Lauren to wear on her head this whole episode.
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He wants her to wear a bag.
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She s beautiful.
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He wants her to wear a bag.
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Yeah, I don t get intimidated too often, but I think, you know, Lauren heard you were coming in and she s like, listen, Stamos is coming in.
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You are my childhood crush.
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Really?
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Can t believe that.
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I think that you re Michael s childhood crush.
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Honestly, like... He s too handsome.
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Thanks for dressing up, Michael.
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The t-shirt works.
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That s Rickles.
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If you like Rickles, that s Rickles, right?
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I love Rickles.
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You know what?
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I don t know a set-off air who has a better hairline.
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I hate to say that to you, Michael.
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Normally, I would say you.
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I like the way you got it styled.
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Mine s a little stiff.
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Yours is, that thing s flowing, man.
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You re stiff.
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Yeah, we could do a little more of a flow.
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But you normally wear it like that, right?
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I read The Outsiders when I was like 12 or 13.
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That s it for me.
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That s the look.
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So we re here because I read your book.
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Thank you.
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I tagged your wife, I tagged you, I tagged everyone.
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I wanted you on the show so bad after this book because this book showed such a different side of you.
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I had known you, obviously, from Full House, from ER, from all the different things that you ve done.
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Stern.
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And the book, you were so open.
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Yeah, sometimes too open.
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Have you guys written a book?
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I have written a book.
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You ve done everything.
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But not like, this is different.
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This is like a true memoir.
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Yes, this is like a memoir.
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You have to be open.
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No, I set out to write like a hero story, and then I was like, this is bullshit, I can t, you know, and then it became a human story, and then I stumbled upon a line like, anything less than the truth is paralysis.
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So I was like, oh shit, I had to go back to the beginning and try to figure out how to do it.
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I thought about writing, the two hardest chapters I started with, which was, I got a DUI the day I got a DUI, and it was horrible, just terrible, I could have killed somebody.
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And my five stages of grief there were, you know, more booze and girls and drugs.
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And then the second chapter that I wrote, which ended up being the last chapter about Bob called Cake, the day he died.
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And my five stages of grief there was therapy and family and, you know, the program and, you know, being sober and stuff, meditation.
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So, first of all, I was in here a couple months ago on the Josh and Ben show, which is a good guy show, and it was really sweet, but I saw all these vibrators and pink things out there, I m like, what the hell, I m in the right place.
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And I thought it was Josh s vibrator line, it wasn t.
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Then I texted him this morning, I go, hey, was that the studio, I m doing these husband and wife podcasts and I can t wait, but I remember seeing dildos and stuff, was that your place?
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And he said, yeah, that s them.
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Vibrators, dildos, I m gonna give you one.
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It s the best vibrator I can attest to it on the planet.
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Let me tell you.
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Okay, my wife, I guess maybe I shouldn t say this, but she blew out a power in our house the other day.
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I was out of town.
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She has a plug-in one and it blew the power out of the whole master bedroom area.
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These ones are cordless.
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This is cordless.
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I m gonna give a cordless one.
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It comes in a cute little package.
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It s rechargeable.
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It s dainty.
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It s cute.
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It s pretty.
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We don t have to worry about 220 volts.
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What did you do when she started coming up with these products?
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I was all for it.
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I was like, let me test them out together.
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Where did you guys meet?
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When we were 12.
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Really?
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Seriously?
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Yeah.
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Wow.
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I think what happened is she saw you.
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No, we have not only been with each other.
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No, no.
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I think what happened is she saw you.
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I need to say that before when we when we say we met.
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Do you have hickeys?
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Are those hickeys in your neck?
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Oh my god.
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I think she saw you in full house and then was like, and then she got all excited.
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I told my husband, I said, the reason that I have this type is because of you.
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Okay, wow, thank you.
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This is like, you guys kind of have a similar look.
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Yeah, I will take it.
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You re younger, aren t you Michael?
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You gotta be, I mean, of course you re younger.
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He and he, you guys are similar age.
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I m 72.
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Wait, no, no, no, no, no, no.
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So where did you guys, where did you grow up?
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In San Diego?
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San Diego.
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Oh, wow.
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I grew up in Orange County, you know.
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Where in Orange County?
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Cyprus, there s a little town called Cyprus.
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And so you guys met in 12, you were 12 years old?
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12 years old.
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And did you like each other then?
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Yes, we liked each other at 12.
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Is that right?
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Mike s son, who s six, I don t know about you, how old, your kids are four and two?
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Four.
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But my son s only one and a half.
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Okay, my son has a girlfriend for a couple years now.
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I think it s wrong.
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You re five and a half year old?
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Yeah.
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And I m like, stop with the girlfriend stuff.
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She s very, she s very sweet.
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And you know, the neighbors, her dad directs The Bachelor and all the shows, Ken Fuchs.
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So we were, but he s a, he s a player, you know, he s a player.
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My wife said she had boyfriends when she was five or six.
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You have them when you re little.
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That young?
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Yeah.
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So we were in Paris a couple months ago and we were at the Disney Disneyland there and we had a guide and we re two days and one day the first guide was you know a nice normal French woman maybe 50.
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The next day there s like this 30 year old hot French girl and she comes up to the table and boom like a high five.
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And he s such an, like here s his move.
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He goes, so what s my favorite color?
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Like, you gotta guess his shit, you know?
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So, what s my favorite dinosaur?
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Like, really.
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He s a player.
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He s a player, and so, it s like, and then she says, oh, excuse me, I have to go to the restroom, and just walks off.
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Oh, no, first, he was doing the questions, and then I could overhear him saying, I have this girlfriend, her name is Bella, and we play down the street, and she s really cool, and her dad does this, and then, okay, and then she walks away to the restroom, just as he s at an earshot, I swear to God, he turns to me and goes,
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Why did I tell her I had a girlfriend?
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He had a shot at her.
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He s charming.
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I mean, he s your kid.
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Yeah, but I wasn t like that.
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I was, I was cute maybe as a kid and then a guy old dorky during, you know, junior high especially.
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I talked about being bullied and stuff there.
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Were you the stud dude at the, no?
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No, I got bullied.
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You did?
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Yeah, I was small.
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What happened?
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I was tiny.
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So how, when did you guys hook up then?
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We hooked up at 12.
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We didn t have sex, no?
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Wait a minute.
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I might ve given you a blowjob on the tennis court at 13.
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13.
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Is that true?
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You asked me if I was scared of the one-eyed snake.
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Is that what the plan was?
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I didn t know what to say.
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I hope my son doesn t listen to this.
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You know what, though?
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Her dad caught us in the closet.
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We ve told this story.
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Her dad caught us in the closet at 12 with all our clothes on.
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I saw my life flash before my eyes.
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I thought, I mean, it s worked out.
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I m like, look, two kids.
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It s worked out.
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It s worked out.
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Do her parents like you?
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Yeah.
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So when you get, when you did, when you saw the one-eyed snake and the thing, did you say, marry me then, like grade 12?
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Oh, he was like, you ve been marrying me since I was 12.
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Yeah.
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What really happened is she showed up to school.
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She came in at the end of sixth, she came in sixth grade.
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She didn t go to the school before.
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She was fully developed.
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And I was,
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had little girlfriends that weren t developed.
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And I took, I thought she was a substitute teacher.
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I took one look and I m like, that s the one.
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Hot for teaching.
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And I think.
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Couldn t leave me alone.
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And then she wore this blue sequins dress in the sixth grade play and I was like, wow, done.
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What was the play?
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The play was Girls Just Want to Have Fun.
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Are you an actress?
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I m not an actress.
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SPEAKER_00
Really?
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SPEAKER_02
No, I m not an actress.
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I m not gonna flirt with your wife.
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SPEAKER_02
I don t care.
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SPEAKER_02
Oh, please flirt with his wife.
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I have a wife and a kid.
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Please, please, please, please.
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Listen, you don t get many cracks at Stamos.
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If you would have told me that I would be interviewing John Stamos.
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Oh, big deal.
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Would not have believed it.
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So did you guys, so you started dating at 12 or whatever, and then you broke up for a while and dated other people?
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Long time.
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We broke up.
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Oh, we broke up until 21 years old.
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Yeah, we went off, I went to other schools, she went to other schools.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, you went to other schools, is that what you call it?
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You went to U of A and fucked the whole school.
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SPEAKER_01
Did you have to say it like that?
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SPEAKER_01
No.
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I went on nice dates, candlelit dinners.
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Yeah, okay, candlelit dinners.
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Did you, the candle was in his ass.
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Did you, um, did you guys, so you got back together at 21?
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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How many people did you sleep with, Michael?
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Two.
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Yeah.
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Hundred?
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No, two hundred, two thousand.
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No, really?
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That much?
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SPEAKER_00
No.
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Your dad did tell me 3,000.
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No, not him, not him.
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His dad slept with 3,000.
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Did you really?
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Is he still alive?
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Yeah, but he s 79.
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Wow.
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Can we get him on the phone?
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Who slept with more, John Stamos or Christian?
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Your dad.
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Let s call him.
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Can we call him?
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My dad s such a wild character because he was older than me when he had me and he was nuts when he was a kid.
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Yeah.
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And he was like, I remember being like 12 years old.
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I was like, listen, when you do cocaine, it s gotta be really good cocaine.
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And he s like, I had this testing kit.
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I m like, dude,
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I ve never even seen a beer before, man.
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And I was like, he like got the age confused.
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He didn t realize like some of that stuff doesn t come till later.
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And so he would give me this advice and it was so... It still is, right?
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I like old guys.
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SPEAKER_00
You re good with old guys.
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SPEAKER_00
Nice segue.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I know you are.
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SPEAKER_02
You re good with old guys.
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John Rickles.
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Yeah.
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You re good with that.
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Dave Marshall.
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My dad, I mean, my dad was alive.
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He died, I was pretty young.
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SPEAKER_00
He was 65, too young.
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SPEAKER_00
And I sort of gravitated towards, you know, that type of guy.
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SPEAKER_00
Cool.
1
SPEAKER_00
My dad was probably like you.
1
SPEAKER_01
Joking aside, yeah, me and him are like that.
1
SPEAKER_00
I could see he s putting on some of that stuff, but he seems like a really good guy.
1
SPEAKER_02
You were working with your dad in his restaurant.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s right.
1
SPEAKER_02
When you were on a show at the same time.
1
SPEAKER_00
Right.
1
SPEAKER_02
What was that like?
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, the first job I ever got was general hospital.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know what s really good about your podcast too, I should say?
1
SPEAKER_00
You let your guests talk for a long time.
1
SPEAKER_00
Maybe you re spacing out, I m not sure.
1
SPEAKER_00
Do you know what I m saying?
1
SPEAKER_02
Isn t that what you re supposed to do?
1
SPEAKER_00
I guess so.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, some people interrupt.
1
SPEAKER_00
But anyway, yes, I worked at my dad s restaurant.
1
SPEAKER_00
My dad was very, probably cute.
1
SPEAKER_00
He was like, work hard, be a good guy.
1
SPEAKER_00
My dad treated the busboy the same way he would treat his best customer.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I never forgot that.
1
SPEAKER_00
I watched it and he instilled that in me.
1
SPEAKER_00
I did an audition for General Hospital.
1
SPEAKER_00
You probably didn t watch that show.
1
SPEAKER_00
No, you didn t.
1
SPEAKER_00
You did?
1
SPEAKER_02
Yes, I did.
1
SPEAKER_02
When I was at home, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
When you were, you were how old, was this the 80s?
1
SPEAKER_00
You were five?
1
SPEAKER_00
So you hadn t met Michael yet, so you were still, right.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
Told you, my first childhood crush.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, you said full house.
1
SPEAKER_02
Every single girl says that to him.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, they don t not.
1
SPEAKER_01
They don t.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, she, I m not kidding you.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like, she, we ve had some people on the show.
1
SPEAKER_01
She s like, she s like, hey.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, I m very flattered.
1
SPEAKER_01
I loved you in Batman, by the way, Michael.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, everyone says that.
1
SPEAKER_01
Everybody says that.
1
SPEAKER_01
As long as you say not, not when you play Dick Cheney.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, no, you re better looking than him.
1
SPEAKER_02
Your dad treated the bus boy the same as he treated everyone.
1
SPEAKER_00
Right.
1
SPEAKER_00
He was very much into, you know, discipline and working hard.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so I got on the show.
1
SPEAKER_00
I auditioned.
1
SPEAKER_00
I didn t.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was a the breakdown was a was a street urchin, a New York street urchin kid.
1
SPEAKER_00
I d never even been to New York.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was just 18, I think.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I figured, how am I going to I got to get I got to get in.
1
SPEAKER_00
I love Travolta.
1
SPEAKER_00
And the first movie set that I ever saw, first television, anything was on the set of Grease.
1
SPEAKER_00
I can tell you that story.
1
SPEAKER_00
I love Travolta.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I thought I need a walk.
1
SPEAKER_00
I got to get my walk down, and a leather jacket.
1
SPEAKER_00
I took my mom s voluminous long leather jacket, which I was going to cut it, she said no.
1
SPEAKER_00
She sort of feathered my hair.
1
SPEAKER_00
I had sun in during that time.
1
SPEAKER_00
Did you ever use that?
1
SPEAKER_00
What is it?
1
SPEAKER_00
It s you put squitter in your hair and it makes it lighter.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was walking, so I wanted to find a street that I thought was New York, which was, I went over here to West Hollywood, and I was like driving down, this looks like New York to me, and there was a place called Rage, I thought, this character needs rage, I ll park there, you know, and I got out, it s like I m working on my walk, like walking down Santa Monica Boulevard over there.
1
SPEAKER_00
A lot of catcalls, there was a lot of outdoor restaurants with mainly men, mostly men, and, woo, you get it, girl, I m like, girl, oh, okay, you know,
1
SPEAKER_00
This was, yeah, this was sort of worked through my walk and it was sort of silly.
1
SPEAKER_00
But then I walked into the idea.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, so I thought I needed a bandana like, like Chachi on Happy Days.
1
SPEAKER_00
He s a New York guy.
1
SPEAKER_00
He has a bandana.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I was trying to, there are a lot of bandana stores on the street.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I went into one and I got a yellow bandana, and I ll never forget, the guy says, today s your lucky day because with every bandana you get a massage.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m like, oh, thank you, sir, but I got an audition.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I took the yellow bandana and I went, and I was, I came into the audition like a, like a, like, bam, I bashed through, and I m doing my walk, and I go, okay, and I m like,
1
SPEAKER_00
There s two guys, Weber, baseball bats, stop, stop, stop moving around.
1
SPEAKER_00
What are you doing?
1
SPEAKER_00
The camera s kind of being catchy.
1
SPEAKER_00
You don t need to walk, just stay, you know, stand still and say the lines.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
So there s two guys, Weber.
2
SPEAKER_01
baseball bats in one hand, stop.
2
SPEAKER_01
I go, what?
2
SPEAKER_01
He says, that yellow bandana, you like to be peed on?
2
SPEAKER_01
I m like, what?
2
SPEAKER_01
And it turns out like there s a colors in that community and yellow was peed on.
2
SPEAKER_01
So that was my first audition, but I got it.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I remember calling home and my family was all, they always, I would call and say, I got bad news.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I got their own.
2
SPEAKER_01
My sisters and my mom are screaming.
2
SPEAKER_01
And you could hear my dad in the back going,
2
SPEAKER_00
You can t work on Sundays.
2
SPEAKER_00
Tell him you can t, well, you re my Sunday guy.
2
SPEAKER_01
And sure enough, I started the show, and I still worked at my dad s restaurant on Sundays.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then the show aired just literally two weeks after I started.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I auditioned on a Monday, call back on a Tuesday, worked on a Wednesday, and then one week later, it started to air.
2
SPEAKER_01
And that show, 35 million people were watching, Luke and Laura and all that stuff.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I still worked, and people were starting to come into the restaurant to say, can I have a cheeseburger?
2
SPEAKER_01
hey, aren t you the guy, nah, give me a, I said, dad, I m famous, can I quit?
2
SPEAKER_01
No.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he kept me working there.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I never, you know, when you write something like this, you discover your story and discover, like, I had questions, I go, why did he, I mean, it was either to keep me humble, which didn t work, or discipline, or it was good for business.
2
SPEAKER_01
He came down to the set with me, I ll never forget it, and he watched the way I handled people or worked with people.
2
SPEAKER_01
Same way he did, I was talking to the guy pulling the cords, I was talking to the producers, and he said, you re ready, you re ready, go, it s your son, I love you, be a good man, be kind, work your ass off, and good luck.
2
SPEAKER_03
That s an incredible story.
2
SPEAKER_03
We ve meet so many people, and honestly, when you came in the room when Bert was here, I could tell right away, I m like, oh, this guy, you just seem like a good dude.
2
SPEAKER_03
I watch you with Jade in the office, you treat everybody really nice, and it s refreshing because
2
SPEAKER_03
you know, we come across a lot of people and sometimes you see people reach a certain level of either fame or fortune and they kind of lose sight of just being a human.
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, there probably were times where I was like that, but for the most part, like I wanted to be famous my whole life.
2
SPEAKER_01
I wanted to be popular.
2
SPEAKER_01
I wanted people, the girls to like me and stuff.
2
SPEAKER_01
So why would I not like it now?
2
SPEAKER_01
You guys talk, a couple of the episodes that I listened to, you re talking about fame, not you guys as much, but the guests that weren t famous.
2
SPEAKER_01
And they were talking about what it means to be famous.
2
SPEAKER_01
You don t know, it s like if I m in a restaurant and I m talking, I don t want people to come up to me, I don t give a shit, I really don t.
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean if I want to be private and you know I ll stay home and you know people are just, it s always something nice, they always come up and say something nice, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
You guys get recognized probably once in a while.
2
SPEAKER_02
You know who says what you just said?
2
SPEAKER_02
Kim Kardashian.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh really?
2
SPEAKER_02
I ll never ever complain because I ve worked so hard to get here and I ll never complain about people coming up to me or being famous.
2
SPEAKER_02
She said, I love every minute of it.
2
SPEAKER_02
I think that s honest too.
2
SPEAKER_02
And also, you re right.
2
SPEAKER_02
If you don t want to get recognized, don t go out.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, I mean, people, you know, I mean, I think people, you know, don t want to live in their house all the time, but I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_01
I can t speak for that.
2
SPEAKER_01
But for me, it s like, you know, my Kim, she worked really hard.
2
SPEAKER_01
She s do you have you guys have she been on her?
2
SPEAKER_01
No.
2
SPEAKER_01
You can t bash me.
2
SPEAKER_01
Open invite.
2
SPEAKER_01
She s my neighbor.
2
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, you look at people that work that hard and it s pretty impressive too, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
So who started making the dough first, you or her?
2
SPEAKER_01
Probably me, but I went straight into
2
SPEAKER_03
The last job I had... McDonald s?
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
How did you know that?
2
SPEAKER_03
I listen.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh, wow.
2
SPEAKER_03
But my dad, and you know, he s a funny character and he taught me a lot, but one thing that I think is a little bit of a strange path is he drilled in my head always that I could never have like a job, that I had to go build something on my own, which was strange, you know?
2
SPEAKER_03
I struggled and stumbled with that for a long time because I was like, what does that even mean?
2
SPEAKER_03
He has a lot of pressure.
2
SPEAKER_03
He has a lot of pressure.
2
SPEAKER_02
Your dad was a lot older than your dad.
2
SPEAKER_02
Because he was a born and bred entrepreneur.
2
SPEAKER_03
Your dad was 42.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, and so with that, what I would say is I had a lot of
2
SPEAKER_03
downs first.
2
SPEAKER_03
Like I would go, I would make, I would go up and then I d go down and I d go up and I d go down.
2
SPEAKER_03
I had nothing really stable, but when, when stuff started to hit me, but then, you know, probably at times when I was down, then she started to go up and then vice versa.
2
SPEAKER_03
But I think what s interesting about us, we ve been together for so long that we ve kind of been building it together.
2
SPEAKER_03
Right.
2
SPEAKER_03
Right.
2
SPEAKER_03
Like we, we, no prenup.
2
SPEAKER_01
So, you know, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
Thank God.
2
SPEAKER_03
Thank God.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that was my mistake.
2
SPEAKER_03
But you know, when we, I remember when she was bartending and putting herself through school and starting the blog.
2
SPEAKER_02
I was bartending in San Diego.
2
SPEAKER_01
Hooters?
2
SPEAKER_02
Not Hooters.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t mean to be disrespectful.
2
SPEAKER_01
Not Hooters.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I know there s a lot of Hooters down there.
2
SPEAKER_02
Not Hooters.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
That was disrespectful.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m sorry.
2
SPEAKER_02
That was not disrespectful.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes, it was.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know what?
2
SPEAKER_01
Michael s getting pissed off.
2
SPEAKER_02
I wish that I worked at Hooters.
2
SPEAKER_02
I wish that I had that moment to work at Hooters and sell wings.
2
SPEAKER_02
I would have sold wings like nobody s business.
2
SPEAKER_02
I really would have.
2
SPEAKER_03
She got her first boob job at 18 and she got them removed recently.
2
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, the Hooters, you would have crushed it there.
2
SPEAKER_03
I would have crushed it.
2
SPEAKER_03
This is personal.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, we talk about everything.
2
SPEAKER_01
There s nothing off limits at this point.
2
SPEAKER_01
What is that like though?
2
SPEAKER_01
Did that start from the beginning?
2
SPEAKER_01
Have you guys just...
2
SPEAKER_01
Spewing out your personal life.
2
SPEAKER_03
Here s the way that I well, yeah, but here s the way I would sometimes people wonder Oh, man, these guys go out each other.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I m a fight a lot No, but imagine doing something with like your best friend from childhood And so like I think some of the stuff that you would rib like you would rib your 12 sex with like, you know I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, I m sorry
2
SPEAKER_03
But no, I don t I think it s just it s just a dynamic and I think what I learned is I used to be a lot more Private and then she just started sharing every fucking thing about her life.
2
SPEAKER_02
I gotta get Actually, which is why I liked your book.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m sure I liked your book because I was like, this is this is someone who s telling the truth Yeah, it was hard, you know, and there were times when I said I was like, oh
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I didn t, maybe one guy, one person, but I didn t bash it.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s not my style to say shitty stuff about people.
2
SPEAKER_01
When it got really into the weeds of things, I had to pretend like I was writing about somebody else.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was me, and they re all two stories, but I disconnected from it somehow.
2
SPEAKER_01
Why?
2
SPEAKER_01
Because it was too, I couldn t believe that I was, first of all, I couldn t believe half of the shit I ve done.
2
SPEAKER_01
Writing a book just made me so grateful for my life and the people that have been in it.
2
SPEAKER_01
This is really a love letter to all the beautiful people, you know, the Rickles, the Gary Marshalls, certainly my parents.
2
SPEAKER_01
I love my parents so much.
2
SPEAKER_01
My mom, you know, wrote me these little notes and I hope you guys do something like this for your kids.
2
SPEAKER_02
I already swear on my life I m going to do this for my son and daughter, the little notes.
2
SPEAKER_01
Let s do it now.
2
SPEAKER_02
No, no, no.
2
SPEAKER_02
Talk to us about the notes that she wrote you.
2
SPEAKER_01
They re so sweet.
2
SPEAKER_01
She would just write these random notes and give them to us sometimes.
2
SPEAKER_01
Sometimes I wouldn t, she wouldn t.
2
SPEAKER_01
And my sisters, when they asked me to do a book, I was like, no way.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t have any, I m not that interesting.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t, I m not very articulate.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s very, you know, I m not a writer like this.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then I was a father, so I was trying to think about what it meant to be a father at 92.
2
SPEAKER_01
you know, father in his 50s, and then Bob died.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I wrote this sort of a tribute to him in the LA Times, and my book agent, I guess, and a couple of publishers saw that, and they said, well, you should write a book.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m like, no.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I sort of, I kept saying no, and they said, well, just try.
2
SPEAKER_01
I said, I don t want to try.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then I thought about my mom s letters, and I laid them out, and I got some from my sisters.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was like, okay, well that s a good roadmap anyway to start with.
2
SPEAKER_01
Here, let me read one of the letters.
2
SPEAKER_01
Dear, and I used her writing and stuff.
2
SPEAKER_01
Dear Johnny, do not release your memoir on the same day as Britney Spears.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, thanks mom, you didn t.
2
SPEAKER_01
No, this was interesting.
2
SPEAKER_01
This was the first one I put in here.
2
SPEAKER_02
You did release it on the same day as Britney Spears.
2
SPEAKER_01
I didn t choose to.
2
SPEAKER_02
You know I bought both your memoirs.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you bought hers first.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, luckily in that world, you can kind of get both of them, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that people, I mean, so when I was talking about the, when I was doing the first chapter and I was getting in my car, fucked up like an idiot.
2
SPEAKER_01
I swear to you, I saw this, I had it framed, this note of hers that says, don t ever give the devil a ride because he will end up doing the driving.
2
SPEAKER_01
When she died, and I talk about losing both of them, it was really difficult, and I was at my worst.
2
SPEAKER_01
Maybe two or three weeks after she passed away, I m crying in her house, I m trying to start to clean up stuff, and I see this little note.
2
SPEAKER_01
She had this stationery the last couple years, and I found it, and I looked at it and I says, dear son, life is an occasion, rise to it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Don t be sad because I died, be happy because I lived.
2
SPEAKER_01
I had a wonderful life.
2
SPEAKER_01
She did that.
2
SPEAKER_02
The letters really give your book heart.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s very, very honest.
2
SPEAKER_02
Your relationship with your mother, Bob and Dawn, seems to be a big part of the book.
2
SPEAKER_02
You had really deep relationships with those three people.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, Bob sort of is all the way through, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yesterday was the two-year anniversary of his death.
3
SPEAKER_00
He seemed like the best friend.
3
SPEAKER_02
You guys would have loved it.
3
SPEAKER_02
It would have been great on your show because he said... Funny.
3
SPEAKER_01
People don t realize, I mean maybe they do, how fucking funny that guy was.
3
SPEAKER_02
Brilliant.
3
SPEAKER_02
I love, you know, I study these stand-ups.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m a student of comedy.
3
SPEAKER_02
I would never do it, but I love watching the mechanics of it.
3
SPEAKER_02
You see how these guys, he tells, Bert was just in there, right?
3
SPEAKER_02
He tells these great stories.
3
SPEAKER_02
They re so fucking funny, but it s timing and words.
3
SPEAKER_02
They re geniuses with the words.
3
SPEAKER_02
And Rickles was, you know, was the greatest ever.
3
SPEAKER_02
But Bob and I didn t like each other when I started the show.
3
SPEAKER_02
I came from, I was working with Jack Klugman, who was an old, famous actor, and he really mentored me a lot about, you know, certainly about acting and life, really.
3
SPEAKER_02
Jack would make me, they would have a punch-up night a certain day of the week, and he would have all these famous writers come in, Jerry Belson or Harvey Miller, I m sure you re writing this, but Gary Marshall, that s where I met Gary Marshall.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I would sit in the corner and watch how they would construct a scene and fix jokes
3
SPEAKER_02
So I came into Full House with that.
3
SPEAKER_02
And Bob was coming, he s just a comic, he s a junkie for laughs.
3
SPEAKER_02
I mean, he, like a heroin addict, he had to have them.
3
SPEAKER_02
And it didn t matter, he wasn t really getting them on the show in the beginning, so he had to make the crew laugh, which was, you know, fine a little bit at the time, but he was very disruptive, we were talking about it yesterday.
3
SPEAKER_02
So we didn t get along at all, and it took a while before, but once we locked in, we were just there for each other, all three of us.
3
SPEAKER_02
The third season, I think it was, Bob s sister got scleroderma, which is a horrific disease that he d been advocating for and raising a lot of money for until the day he died.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then Dave s sister had a very terrible cancer, cervical cancer.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then my sister had a brain tumor.
3
SPEAKER_02
So now we were three, just the three guys on the show, we were three brothers grieving for our sisters.
3
SPEAKER_02
Bob s sister died, Dave s sister died.
3
SPEAKER_02
Thank God my sister made it out alive.
3
SPEAKER_02
She was misdiagnosed and it was MS and she s doing great.
3
SPEAKER_02
From that moment on, I think we were just as one.
3
SPEAKER_02
And we just, we ve been there for each other for everything.
3
SPEAKER_02
All the highs, all the lows, you know, in between our careers.
3
SPEAKER_01
And when he passed, what did that do to you personally?
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh God.
3
SPEAKER_02
Because it wasn t like he didn t have cancer or some long-term, like it was just like, you know, I remember I, it was a Sunday and I got a call from my press agent.
3
SPEAKER_02
Two weeks before, this is true, he got a call from TMZ.
3
SPEAKER_02
They said I went down in a plane crash.
3
SPEAKER_02
They had sources that said I- You did.
3
SPEAKER_02
That I did.
3
SPEAKER_02
A couple weeks before, Bob, said I went down in a plane crash near San Diego.
3
SPEAKER_02
And so Matt, my publicist, immediately called.
3
SPEAKER_02
I didn t answer the phone, but my wife did.
3
SPEAKER_02
Is John okay?
3
SPEAKER_02
She s like, yeah, he s sleeping upstairs.
3
SPEAKER_02
Don t wake him up.
3
SPEAKER_02
So that was bullshit.
3
SPEAKER_02
Two weeks later, Matt calls again on a Sunday.
3
SPEAKER_02
What s up?
3
SPEAKER_02
Have you talked to Bob today?
3
SPEAKER_02
No, why?
3
SPEAKER_02
How is he?
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_02
I think he s doing a gig in Florida.
3
SPEAKER_02
But you haven t talked to him.
3
SPEAKER_02
No, why?
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, TMZ called and said that he died in Florida.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m like, well, what sources?
3
SPEAKER_02
You know, the same bullshit.
3
SPEAKER_02
So I texted him, texted him, and he would usually, even if he was on a plane, he would text you back.
3
SPEAKER_02
He would text or call you and say, I m too busy to talk.
3
SPEAKER_02
I said, why did you call me then?
3
SPEAKER_02
But he didn t text back and then I started calling his wife, she didn t answer.
3
SPEAKER_02
Then I got this weird text from Candace and she said, I got this DM that said from some woman who said her sister s a police officer and she s sorry that Bob died in Florida.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m like, oh shit, oh, this is too many, right?
3
SPEAKER_02
So I called her and she read it to me again.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then as I was talking to Candace, Kelly, his wife called me and she told me, and I was in the parking lot.
3
SPEAKER_02
I was driving my son around to sleep and I was in the parking lot of the commons up there.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I just hit the cement.
3
SPEAKER_02
I d never forget it.
3
SPEAKER_02
He was asleep then.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then I called Lori and she flipped.
3
SPEAKER_02
She did the same thing.
3
SPEAKER_02
She was on a golf course.
3
SPEAKER_02
Grass was probably softer than the pavement.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then Dave, I called, I said, Dave, Bob Saget died.
3
SPEAKER_02
I was like, I don t know why I said his last name.
3
SPEAKER_02
But we were all in such shock, it was shocking.
3
SPEAKER_02
It was like, what the fuck?
3
SPEAKER_02
And it s taken me this amount of time to go like, wait a minute, no, he hit his head, what was that about?
3
SPEAKER_02
He was bigger than life and he was, here s the thing, he always told you, I love you, I care about you, I m proud of you, give you the biggest hug, always.
3
SPEAKER_02
And that s something we should keep alive for his legacy.
3
SPEAKER_00
He really seemed like a really great friend.
3
SPEAKER_00
He also seemed, when you write about him, that he wanted to be telling, like you said he told the crew, he wanted to be telling like really disgusting jokes, but he s like America s father.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, right.
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, he was always, he was always, I guess he was always dirty, so we knew it, you know.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, he was pretty, pretty bad.
3
SPEAKER_02
But it was, you know, drove me crazy because I m in there trying to work a scene and trying to fix why is it funny or why is Michelle saying you got a dude when there s no dude, there s a turtle in the room.
3
SPEAKER_00
Right.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s a turtle.
3
SPEAKER_02
You got a turtle, maybe.
3
SPEAKER_02
And Bob would, we d be at that iconic kitchen table and he would grab a fork and just start stabbing it.
3
SPEAKER_02
I hate my cock.
3
SPEAKER_02
And just like stab, you know, make a stabbing motion.
3
SPEAKER_02
It was too much.
3
SPEAKER_00
Was he jealous that you were like the ladies man on the show?
3
SPEAKER_02
Well, I think so.
3
SPEAKER_02
I mean, he, you know, at his funeral, his first wife, Sherry, came up to him, she was hugging me, and she was like, Bob loved you so much.
3
SPEAKER_02
He also hated you.
3
SPEAKER_02
He was so jealous.
3
SPEAKER_02
But, you know, as it turns out that I,
3
SPEAKER_02
It was interesting because I hadn t watched the show in a long time and my son was watching it recently.
3
SPEAKER_02
And it was a scene where Danny and Jesse were talking about how they wished they had each other s, they were jealous of each other.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like I was a rock and roll guy at free and he had a family.
3
SPEAKER_02
And that s how I was with him.
3
SPEAKER_02
I was always, first of all, I was jealous of his comedic timing and the way he could just be so brilliant on stage.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then also he had a family of three girls and I was out, you know, I didn t.
3
SPEAKER_02
So that all changed, I think.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then we became just really supportive of each other.
3
SPEAKER_00
That was interesting for me to read as I thought you were like this.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if player is the right word, but I thought like you were like the bad boy.
3
SPEAKER_00
And in the book, you could tell you were wanting a family.
3
SPEAKER_02
I think some of my contemporaries at the time were off, you know, the Playboy magazine and all that stuff.
3
SPEAKER_02
I didn t do any of that like you, Michael.
3
SPEAKER_01
I would imagine if I was in your shoes and there was that amount of female attention, that would be hard to stay focused at times.
3
SPEAKER_02
You know, I swear to God, I wasn t aware of it.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like I wasn t, there was no social media, so I really didn t know how popular you were.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, you weren t getting any feedback.
3
SPEAKER_01
No DMs.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, no DMs.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I really was, it was always just, in high school, in junior, no, in high school, it started to change then.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I was this goofy kid, I was like doing like stunts and magic and puppets and not, things that really don t turn girls on that much.
3
SPEAKER_02
I started playing drums, which was helpful.
3
SPEAKER_02
I ll never forget it, maybe you had this, were you good looking, you know, forever?
3
SPEAKER_02
I mean, since you were...
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know, I think I was like, no, I was never, I never felt like the guy, I wasn t super confident when I was younger.
3
SPEAKER_01
Right.
3
SPEAKER_01
Right, and I got bullied when I was... Why?
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know, probably, I was always like, I ve always been headstrong, I ve always been outspoken.
3
SPEAKER_02
Smartass kind of thing?
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
I didn t, I guess I wasn t that aware that girl, he said, ah, with all those girls after you.
3
SPEAKER_02
There was no, you know, social media, so I didn t know.
3
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I did, you know, appearances and stuff, and there was a lot of that kind of thing, but I always wanted to find the one and settle down.
3
SPEAKER_02
I wanted to be, I wanted a family like my mom and dad.
3
SPEAKER_01
But once you did know and once the success of the show and your platform and you become known, how do you even start, how do you stay focused when there is, when you start to realize, okay, there is some attention here?
3
SPEAKER_02
Here s the honest truth.
3
SPEAKER_02
I felt I would go to bed too early and my friends call me the, the, you know, something waster.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like I would like, there would be girls that would want to hang out, but I was like, he s asleep.
3
SPEAKER_01
Sorry.
3
SPEAKER_02
You know, I really was.
3
SPEAKER_02
Now I stay up later, but I was like that.
3
SPEAKER_02
But it was so much more innocent, and I wasn t evolved.
3
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I wasn t very mature.
3
SPEAKER_02
I was very, hopefully you get that from the book, like I was so naive, and I was so, you know, I was a little kid from Orange County that was quite sheltered, and it was all sort of a dream to me, right?
3
SPEAKER_02
And it wasn t sophisticated enough to go, okay, here s my goal, and I can t move that.
3
SPEAKER_02
I just went with what I was given, where my life was taking me.
3
SPEAKER_02
I didn t overthink it, I wasn t that smart, I wasn t that introspective.
3
SPEAKER_02
Now I am, I think, with therapy and growing up.
3
SPEAKER_02
I never thought I was smart, that was the thing.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I had a girl tell me that I wasn t, and it stuck with me to this day, probably.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I think it was just one of those things where I just felt I wasn t smart enough to keep up with people.
3
SPEAKER_02
I didn t go to college and I just didn t feel very book smart.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I would drink to come off funnier or maybe smarter, but I didn t.
4
SPEAKER_02
Then I wrote this book and it was the number four bestseller on the New York Times.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s like the Wizard of Oz, right?
4
SPEAKER_02
Like the Scarecrow.
4
SPEAKER_02
I said, I don t have a brain.
4
SPEAKER_02
You have it, you just didn t.
4
SPEAKER_02
Here s your diploma.
4
SPEAKER_02
That s what this is.
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Did you know water is good for you, but it s actually not so great for your hair?
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I was just out of town in New York City and I looked at all my supplements and I really like zoned in on what I was actually traveling with.
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And I ve realized one thing that I have traveled with for like really the last four years is a probiotic.
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I always take one every morning.
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I like it with lemon water and the one that I take is by Just Thrive.
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The reason that I like this brand in particular is they are all about the research and the effectiveness.
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Probiotics are so important and I will never go back on this probiotic.
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You know, we had, um, Janice Dickinson in here on Monday.
4
SPEAKER_01
And, um, we were talking about the same kind of thing.
4
SPEAKER_00
Did we ask her about you?
4
SPEAKER_00
We didn t ask her about you.
4
SPEAKER_00
Should we have asked her?
4
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t know her.
4
SPEAKER_01
The point is she was quote unquote, like the America, the very first supermodel.
4
SPEAKER_01
And she was saying some of the same things.
4
SPEAKER_00
He does a couple of models.
4
SPEAKER_01
where like a lot of people it was like there was such a focus on the looks that like sometimes people didn t take the mind seriously and there s like a complex that gets developed and I imagine if you re on a show being told like you re the you re the looks guy don t we don t you know we don t want to hear about the mind type thing like that that can reinforce some of those.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah maybe yeah I just I didn t yes but I didn t think I didn t think it like I didn t I wasn t I didn t think about that kind of stuff I was like well let s make it funny I was really into acting I really wanted to be a respected actor and it s taken a long time just to kind of go
4
SPEAKER_02
Here I am, motherfuckers, you know, that s it.
4
SPEAKER_02
And no matter what I did, it was still Uncle Jesse, Uncle Jesse.
4
SPEAKER_02
You know, ER was a great run for me and some of these things.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I started doing theater, which a lot of people don t know about.
4
SPEAKER_02
I talk about it here.
4
SPEAKER_02
And the last, I did four musicals.
4
SPEAKER_02
I did Annie, this song will come out.
4
SPEAKER_02
Just kidding.
4
SPEAKER_02
The musicals and then the last show I did was with James Earl Jones, arguably the greatest living actor of our generation.
4
SPEAKER_02
And Angela Lansbury was in it.
4
SPEAKER_02
It was a three hour Gore Vidal political drama, would be great now.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s called The Best Man on Broadway.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I did the run and I came pretty close to James Earl Jones.
4
SPEAKER_02
He called me, hi, little John.
4
SPEAKER_02
I call him Big Daddy.
4
SPEAKER_02
We d be at a curtain call and I was standing next to him at the curtain call and we d bend down.
4
SPEAKER_02
Just when he was just out of it, he d go, there s some boobies in the third row.
4
SPEAKER_02
You know, like this.
4
SPEAKER_02
Did you guys hear that?
4
SPEAKER_02
Michael s like, what?
4
SPEAKER_00
movies in the third row.
4
SPEAKER_02
But on the last day, we worked really hard and I worked really hard on that show.
4
SPEAKER_02
The last day, the show was, we finished the last show on a Sunday.
4
SPEAKER_02
We were walking out and they were sort of, you know, taking stuff down on the stage and I said, James, I have to tell you, you ve done something for me that no one s ever done.
4
SPEAKER_02
You ve legitimized me.
4
SPEAKER_02
I mean, to be on stage with you for three hours and to do this kind of material, I think that people have completely have a new respect for me and don t see me the way they used to.
4
SPEAKER_01
I imagine like at times, even though it was a great platform, maybe it s frustrating to be the Uncle Jesse all the time.
4
SPEAKER_02
Right.
4
SPEAKER_02
And so this was it.
4
SPEAKER_02
This was, which I thought was the end of it.
4
SPEAKER_02
Just as I m saying thank you for, you know, changing people s perception of me, the stage door opens.
4
SPEAKER_02
Uncle Jesse, Uncle Jesse, have mercy.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I m like, oh my God, like my face, I couldn t look at him.
4
SPEAKER_02
And he was standing right there.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I was like, I m gonna scoot out in between someone s legs and run the fuck away from Broadway and be done with it.
4
SPEAKER_02
And just as I was trying to like not look at him, I kind of took a peek and somebody was holding a phone next to me.
4
SPEAKER_02
Said, James, say, Luke, I am your father.
4
SPEAKER_02
Luke, for my kid.
4
SPEAKER_02
And we just looked at each other and just laughed.
4
SPEAKER_02
I was like, fuck it, you know, fuck it.
4
SPEAKER_02
You know, I really haven t, it took me a long time to learn how to act.
4
SPEAKER_02
I think some people know it right away.
4
SPEAKER_02
like your guy from Batman, they come out of the gate like DiCaprio or Jennifer Lawrence or something, they re great.
4
SPEAKER_02
Some, it takes 25 years, and I think I m in that category.
4
SPEAKER_02
But it really didn t start to hit until I stopped giving a fuck, you know what I mean?
4
SPEAKER_02
And I confidence, and I stopped drinking at like nine years in June.
4
SPEAKER_02
So that helped a lot too.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I was like, I can go into any room, I can be with anybody, I ll audition, I ll act, I ve done so, you have to,
4
SPEAKER_02
I have to just have confidence in everything.
4
SPEAKER_02
And you guys were talking about it, it was so true, it was like, I don t give a fuck if I m embarrassed, if I embarrass myself.
4
SPEAKER_02
Who cares?
4
SPEAKER_02
To who?
4
SPEAKER_02
You re embarrassed?
4
SPEAKER_02
I mean, fuck off.
4
SPEAKER_02
I don t mean to be that shitty, but I just stopped caring.
4
SPEAKER_02
And all of a sudden, this respect came, and people were giving me great jobs, and I don t know, I think that s part of my success.
5
SPEAKER_00
No, I think that I think that s it and we you know for us I used to say like my biggest fear when I was younger was like if I had to speak in front of anybody or Public speaking now, obviously we do this all the time But I think it s like you get to the point where it s like I don t give a fuck and you realize that most people are just thinking about themselves Yeah, I talked about like I auditioned for ER Early on right about a year after Clooney left and I I thought they were gonna offer me their role and they said well No, there s gonna have a little meeting.
5
SPEAKER_01
I thought it was gonna be
5
SPEAKER_01
You know, John Willis created the show, and maybe one other person.
5
SPEAKER_01
And they said, oh, and here are the pages.
5
SPEAKER_01
Pages, what do you mean pages?
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, everybody s reading.
5
SPEAKER_01
Everybody?
5
SPEAKER_01
I thought this was my role.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I went in, I was so fucking nervous, and it was the hottest day, I was in the valley, and I was sweating, I had a black t-shirt, I was dabbing my face in the bathroom, I had toilet paper, you know, it was terrible.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I walked in and I literally barfed and shit and threw, it was awful.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I couldn t even, I couldn t even talk.
5
SPEAKER_01
I was like, and I just like all these medical jargon.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m like, oh fuck.
5
SPEAKER_01
I started sweating more and more.
5
SPEAKER_01
And they re not laughing at anything.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like no sense.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I was just like, oh my God, I got to get it.
5
SPEAKER_01
I just kind of spoke.
5
SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
5
SPEAKER_01
We should do a show on hyperhidrosis, you know, sweating, remember sweating, palm.
5
SPEAKER_01
Okay, bye.
5
SPEAKER_01
It was terrible.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I was so embarrassed.
5
SPEAKER_01
John Wells was my idol.
5
SPEAKER_01
I really wanted to work with him.
5
SPEAKER_01
I went home and I called the casting director and said, how was it?
5
SPEAKER_01
He goes, I never heard this term.
5
SPEAKER_01
He goes, you shit the bed.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m like, what?
5
SPEAKER_01
You shit the bed.
5
SPEAKER_01
I said, well, it was hot, you know, whatever.
5
SPEAKER_01
Years later, they offered me a part on the show.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, oh my God, what do I say?
5
SPEAKER_01
I hadn t seen any of those people, the producers, John Wells.
5
SPEAKER_01
I was so embarrassed, you know, it was just like, it ate me alive.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I m laying on a gurney with blood all over me, just like the audition.
5
SPEAKER_01
And John Wells comes up, hey John, welcome to the show.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m like, oh, hi John.
5
SPEAKER_01
Listen, about that audition years ago, I was so sorry, I was so, he goes, what?
5
SPEAKER_01
I go, remember when I came in and auditioned for you guys?
5
SPEAKER_01
He goes, no.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, no?
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, when you, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
I said, oh, I was sweaty.
5
SPEAKER_01
Look, we were worried that you were too much like Clooney.
5
SPEAKER_01
And as soon as you walked in the room, we all said, oh, we re not gonna do this to John.
5
SPEAKER_01
And that s why we didn t have you do this.
5
SPEAKER_01
We wanted to wait for something like this new role and let a few years go by without him.
5
SPEAKER_01
So all those years I was stressing about, you know, fucking up in front of these guys.
5
SPEAKER_01
They didn t even think twice about it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like you said.
5
SPEAKER_01
They made a decision before they even, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And they think, people don t, right?
5
SPEAKER_01
You spend half your life worrying about shit that never happened.
5
SPEAKER_02
What it s funny when I told everyone that you were coming in I said John Stamos not Uncle Jesse I said John Stamos everyone knew right away Do you think that this book has like I feel like I I don t think of you as Uncle Jesse I think of you as John Stamos.
5
SPEAKER_02
Do you think that this book has helped with that?
5
SPEAKER_01
I m not sure.
5
SPEAKER_02
I mean you I mean, this is like it should be like this is a pretty big moment the book and
5
SPEAKER_01
I never thought about writing a book.
5
SPEAKER_01
When we made the New York Best Times, I was like, oh, is that good?
5
SPEAKER_01
And they re like, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Are you kidding?
5
SPEAKER_01
But it is, because it s my legacy, and I m gonna leave it for my son, and I got to talk nice about my wife and stuff.
5
SPEAKER_01
So yeah, I mean, thank you.
5
SPEAKER_01
I hate being serious, can you tell?
5
SPEAKER_01
I m like, I have 50 jokes going through my head.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, you could tell by maybe the people that you see.
5
SPEAKER_00
I told you the first, I mean, I obviously was very aware of you, but I was maybe not the target audience for Full House.
5
SPEAKER_00
And when I fell in love with what you do and everything is when you had, I said, I was driving home.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was a huge Stern fan.
5
SPEAKER_00
You came with Rickles and I was like,
5
SPEAKER_00
And I thought it was such an interesting pairing.
5
SPEAKER_00
But now talking to you, it makes sense.
5
SPEAKER_00
You... Oh, me and Don?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but it makes sense.
5
SPEAKER_00
Just the people you surround yourself with.
5
SPEAKER_00
They re funny fucking people.
5
SPEAKER_00
I guess.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know why some of these people... And even Howard.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, Howard.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t... How do you even come across paths and become that close with someone like Rickles?
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, Rickles was... You know what I mean?
5
SPEAKER_00
If you were mapping two people, you re like, okay, let s see who s gonna pair together.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it never made no sense.
5
SPEAKER_01
Did you start... You loved him?
5
SPEAKER_01
Did you watch him?
5
SPEAKER_00
I used to go on YouTube and watch all his old things.
5
SPEAKER_00
I d watch when he roasted Reagan.
5
SPEAKER_00
I watched the stand-up.
5
SPEAKER_01
I watched his... Remember when he said that Emanuel Lewis was introducing him?
5
SPEAKER_01
Don Rickles.
5
SPEAKER_01
And he walks down the whole thing and he s... And right before Don went to grab the mic, Emanuel Lewis says, be funny.
5
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, the place...
5
SPEAKER_01
And Don said, I m repeating Don, this is not my joke, but he said, well, there s one little black boy that ll never play basketball.
5
SPEAKER_01
I was like, oh.
5
SPEAKER_01
I go, Don, how did you?
5
SPEAKER_01
He never had writers.
5
SPEAKER_01
He said, I m just doing records, I m doing records.
5
SPEAKER_01
I got to show him a bunch of stuff that he did when YouTube came out, I went over to his house.
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, he never saw, he did The Tonight Show so many times, but he never saw him.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, oh my God, how did you?
5
SPEAKER_01
Shut up.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m just doing rickles.
5
SPEAKER_01
God damn it, I m funny.
5
SPEAKER_01
He was, you know, when I met him, he wasn t, people thought he was dead.
5
SPEAKER_01
It was before this resurgence, like we did this documentary about him on, and that won an Emmy for him.
5
SPEAKER_01
Was that on HBO?
5
SPEAKER_01
I think so, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
It came out, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And Mr. Warmth, great, you know.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then all of a sudden these tributes started to come around and it was beautiful to see him get his due.
5
SPEAKER_01
He would say, John, you know, Johnny Depp came around.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah, Johnny Depp come lately, huh?
5
SPEAKER_01
Johnny, I ve been here 10 years with you, you know?
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, I met him at a restaurant and we just started talking and then he was, you know, his son died at a young age and that was horrific.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know, so maybe he thought of me like that.
5
SPEAKER_01
We spent a lot of time, I called, we talked for hours on the phone.
5
SPEAKER_01
You wouldn t think, right?
5
SPEAKER_00
And he was like a- No, but it makes sense now when you re talking.
5
SPEAKER_00
I could see that.
5
SPEAKER_00
He probably got your sense of humor and obviously,
5
SPEAKER_01
Howard loved him and said he was the reason why he became, got into comedy.
5
SPEAKER_01
And so, Don said, I don t want to talk about who I m stupid, I m not going to go on that show.
5
SPEAKER_00
I said, it s a different, he loves you.
5
SPEAKER_00
Did you tell Howard you were bringing him on?
5
SPEAKER_00
Because I thought it was like a surprise.
5
SPEAKER_01
It was.
5
SPEAKER_01
I told, it was like I was bringing a new girl and I wanted their, their opinion.
5
SPEAKER_01
I just kind of, you know, sort of barged in.
5
SPEAKER_01
Now, it was a surprise for everybody but Howard, like you don t surprise him, I guess.
5
SPEAKER_01
But Artie and Robin, he walked in, and it was an incredible, I don t know if you ve seen it, I know you said you heard it live.
5
SPEAKER_00
I saw it and I watched it after, but I heard it, I was driving home from the desert.
5
SPEAKER_02
Michael is a big fan of Ewan Howard and Don Rickards.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, because I used to do these long commutes when I was chasing her, and I would drive from Arizona all the way to San Diego.
5
SPEAKER_00
But you didn t grow up there?
5
SPEAKER_00
But I went to school out there.
5
SPEAKER_00
Arizona State, where you had sex with all the girls.
5
SPEAKER_00
And that s when Artie was on the show.
5
SPEAKER_00
And so those are like, I feel like those are like pretty crazy stern days.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then you came on, but anyway.
5
SPEAKER_01
But it was beautiful to watch because Howard stood up, took his glasses off, called him Mr. Rickles, and the two of them here are bonding on being so unpopular with girls that they had to be funny.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it was a beautiful thing to watch.
5
SPEAKER_00
One of these days, I struggled with women, he s like, did you struggle with women?
5
SPEAKER_00
Howard s like, yeah, look.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he s like, no.
5
SPEAKER_01
Howard said, yeah, I did too.
5
SPEAKER_01
He said, oh, really?
5
SPEAKER_01
You look like a Jew Zulu.
5
SPEAKER_00
Jujulu, where the hell did he get that?
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, the cool thing about him was, and I don t know if you could even get away with it these days, but he would just rip on everybody.
5
SPEAKER_00
Didn t matter who you were, background, race, creed, but it was funny.
5
SPEAKER_01
It was a different time, and he was not racist.
5
SPEAKER_01
He didn t have a racist bone in his body.
5
SPEAKER_01
Because a lot of people, oh, that s racist.
5
SPEAKER_01
Look, he was making fun of bigotry.
5
SPEAKER_01
He was doing Archie Bunker or something.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s like, look at what they did on that show, the great Norman Lear.
5
SPEAKER_01
Here s an example of a fucking moron, you know?
5
SPEAKER_01
And Don would sort of highlight that and say it was terrible.
5
SPEAKER_01
He s one of a kind.
5
SPEAKER_01
I loved him.
5
SPEAKER_01
I loved him.
5
SPEAKER_02
Was Howard so starstruck when he came on?
5
SPEAKER_01
With Don?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
He just loved it.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s a cool moment.
5
SPEAKER_02
Did you guys ever go to SeaWorld?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, of course.
5
SPEAKER_02
You went to Disneyland.
5
SPEAKER_01
We just took our daughter to Disneyland.
5
SPEAKER_02
You used to go every single week when you were little.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
And you got engaged there.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_00
What s the stainless experience at Disneyland?
5
SPEAKER_02
I feel like you re having a different experience than most people.
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, I didn t when I was a kid, you know, I mean, obviously, I went there to meet, you know, I remember standing in line for the Matterhorn, I had my dad s members-only jacket and his shitty Aramis cologne, I had zits and my head feathered, like, I looked like a dead crow landed on my head or something.
5
SPEAKER_02
I don t know about that, I m gonna need proof of that.
5
SPEAKER_01
Listen, I was the caterpillar, and then when I slowly started turning into the butterfly, that s when girls started to like me and guys wanted to beat me up, like you.
5
SPEAKER_02
No, Michael doesn t like bullies.
5
SPEAKER_02
You guys would have gotten along.
5
SPEAKER_01
We still do.
5
SPEAKER_01
I was standing in line trying to pick up girls and they would just walk right past me and stuff.
5
SPEAKER_01
Did they make a mistake?
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, you go like, man, if you would have told me back then that I d be on this show today, I d have my own stuff.
6
SPEAKER_02
You know, and girls would kind of like me and I d have the Disneyland sign in my backyard.
6
SPEAKER_02
I collected Disney stuff.
6
SPEAKER_01
I don t think they just kind of like you.
6
SPEAKER_01
I had to turn the fucking AC on in here.
6
SPEAKER_02
No.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s all weird.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s all weird, you know?
6
SPEAKER_01
It s surreal.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s surreal.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s how it is.
6
SPEAKER_01
For you, and I always find this interesting, because we ve had, sometimes, even like all the time, we have moments where I m like, man, this is really kind of just like, like when you and Burt came out, I was sitting, I m like, this is a surreal moment.
6
SPEAKER_01
Really?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, for sure.
6
SPEAKER_01
What are some of the most surreal moments you ve had where you re like, wow.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like we were talking to Janice, she dated Mick Jagger.
6
SPEAKER_01
She s like, it was weird.
6
SPEAKER_03
Talk to us about the Beach Boys experience when you first got to go on stage with them.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I mean, like I imagine that s just like some things even, you know, no matter what levels or peaks you reach, like there s probably some moments you re just sitting there like, pinch you moments.
6
SPEAKER_01
Now, right now.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yes, there are, and you guys have had them, I m sure, a ton, right?
6
SPEAKER_02
I mean, you talked about it, but when you first, you talk about, Jesse, when I m talking about knowing someone s first million, how old were you when you made a million dollars?
6
SPEAKER_02
How old was I?
6
SPEAKER_01
Taylor, what was I, like 25, 24?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, in that range.
6
SPEAKER_01
Has Taylor been around that long?
6
SPEAKER_01
Taylor and me worked together for a long time.
6
SPEAKER_03
No shit?
6
SPEAKER_03
Taylor, too?
6
SPEAKER_01
Taylor.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wow.
6
SPEAKER_03
We call him Cucumber, though, because... Shaves my genitals.
6
SPEAKER_01
If you want to know how fast I made the first million and then how quickly I lost two, that s a different story.
6
SPEAKER_02
Did you?
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
What, you loaned it to your dad?
6
SPEAKER_02
No, wait a minute.
6
SPEAKER_02
Let s go back to cucumber dick.
6
SPEAKER_03
Oh, you don t know about cucumber dick?
6
SPEAKER_02
No.
6
SPEAKER_02
Okay, so he shaves himself bare.
6
SPEAKER_03
He shaves himself bare and it causes all this razor burn.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
6
SPEAKER_03
And then he comes to me and he asked me how to get rid of razor burn.
6
SPEAKER_00
Why you?
6
SPEAKER_00
I mean, she s my confidant.
6
SPEAKER_03
Use an ice roller.
6
SPEAKER_03
And then he also had a problem with coming too quickly.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Premature ejaculation.
6
SPEAKER_02
Thanks Taylor.
6
SPEAKER_02
I know what it is.
6
SPEAKER_02
We ve gone through this.
6
SPEAKER_03
We had to fix that with edging.
6
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_03
We had to work on that.
6
SPEAKER_03
And now he s gotten a little better.
6
SPEAKER_03
He can last two minutes.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
No, trust me.
6
SPEAKER_00
No, there s no complaints.
6
SPEAKER_03
Michael just got on this on these vitamins.
6
SPEAKER_00
I need them.
6
SPEAKER_03
Oh, my God.
6
SPEAKER_03
They re amazing.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, what?
6
SPEAKER_03
Taylor, can you please look at Andrew Huberman?
6
SPEAKER_02
We ll get back to your millions.
6
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, I want to hear.
6
SPEAKER_03
Tell everyone about your vitamins.
6
SPEAKER_01
No, there s, um, oh, Tongot, Ollie, and Fadoja.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s like a Viagra.
6
SPEAKER_01
They re all natural supplements, but... You should get on this, Taylor.
6
SPEAKER_01
They re not, like, it helps naturally boost testosterone.
6
SPEAKER_01
Taylor, I m in.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay, I m in.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s Fadojia agrestis.
6
SPEAKER_02
Fadojia agrestis.
6
SPEAKER_03
How is anyone supposed to fucking spell that?
6
SPEAKER_03
Jesus Christ.
6
SPEAKER_02
Do you ever listen to Andrew Huberman, or are you aware of him?
6
SPEAKER_02
He does, he talks about, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
Fadojia?
6
SPEAKER_02
And it s a supplement.
6
SPEAKER_02
Can you tell me after, Taylor?
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
Give me some of yours, Taylor.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m on it because, but I wanted to put on more muscle.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you are on it for me?
6
SPEAKER_02
Taylor, how do you think of, what do you think of, if you want to last longer, think of... He tried, he tried everything.
6
SPEAKER_00
The edging, the edging worked.
6
SPEAKER_00
You basically go all the way to climax.
6
SPEAKER_00
You go all the way to climax, but you don t release.
6
SPEAKER_00
So basically, like, once you do that, you build up to that point to where you re like, okay, there have been, I ve had mistakes.
6
SPEAKER_01
There s a big piece of glass behind it as well.
6
SPEAKER_00
There s been times where I ve gotten too close to the edge and then just bursted, but, you know.
6
SPEAKER_00
Right, right, right.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s all about trial and error.
6
SPEAKER_02
Does your brother listen to the show, Taylor?
6
SPEAKER_00
No, she does not.
6
SPEAKER_00
No, thank God.
6
SPEAKER_03
She does not listen to the show.
6
SPEAKER_01
I didn t know it was this...
6
SPEAKER_00
But he told a story about edging with this one girl who did listen to the show unbeknownst to him and that ended Oh, it ruined everything on the air about edging because I went to her I had had edged for like a month straight and then I went over to her house Oh, you d never had an orgasm for a month for a month and then she her and I we started to get She started to like get down like go down and I was like, hold on and I literally like put my I like
6
SPEAKER_02
Like threw my shirt under it s like I gotta go to the bathroom really quick and I was like busting my load all over my belly That s good Now he jacks off three times a day really I don t know where he does it but yeah Is he super inspiring like how he he s a hard-working bastard right and yeah Do you look at him and go I mean you re more successful But I mean do you look at him and go wow this guy s my man, right?
6
SPEAKER_03
Ah, it depends on the thing.
6
SPEAKER_02
No, she busts my balls and grinds them down.
6
SPEAKER_02
I like to bust his balls.
6
SPEAKER_02
You should edge his balls.
6
SPEAKER_02
I don t know what that means.
6
SPEAKER_03
I do edge his balls.
6
SPEAKER_03
I do all kinds of things to his balls.
6
SPEAKER_02
How often do you guys have sex?
6
SPEAKER_02
You probably talk about it.
6
SPEAKER_02
We re doing good right now.
6
SPEAKER_02
A lot.
6
SPEAKER_03
We re doing good.
6
SPEAKER_03
We re doing good.
6
SPEAKER_03
With marriage, as you know, it ebbs and flows.
6
SPEAKER_01
We got some good one in last night.
6
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, well that s because you re Tom Young, whatever.
6
SPEAKER_03
Jesus Christ.
6
SPEAKER_03
Every single guy needs to be, I don t care, it s not a testosterone replacement, it s vitamin.
6
SPEAKER_03
Every single guy needs to be on this.
6
SPEAKER_02
You should have them in the candy jars out there.
6
SPEAKER_03
You should have them in the candy jars next to the vibrators.
6
SPEAKER_03
Grab a vibrator for a girl during sex.
6
SPEAKER_03
grab a Tom Yum whatever, it ll up everything.
6
SPEAKER_03
And then Burt just told us a story about how Leigh-Anne licked his nipple and it was the best orgasm he s ever had, so tonight Michael s gonna get his nipple licked.
6
SPEAKER_02
Are they pierced, Michael?
6
SPEAKER_02
No, they re not.
6
SPEAKER_02
He looks like a pierced nipple guy.
6
SPEAKER_02
Only three on one.
6
SPEAKER_02
What s that, what, what, what?
6
SPEAKER_02
Did you, are you pierced down there?
6
SPEAKER_03
No.
6
SPEAKER_02
Why d you say, what?
6
SPEAKER_03
No, Taylor looks pierced, but it s just razor burn.
6
SPEAKER_02
Oh, Taylor, right, right, right.
6
SPEAKER_02
When I was doing Little Mermaid Live, I was playing the chef, and for some reason... No big deal, when I was doing the Little Mermaid Live.
6
SPEAKER_03
That s my other favorite.
6
SPEAKER_02
The range of this show, we go from edgy to Little Mermaid Live.
6
SPEAKER_03
When you were doing Little Mermaid Live, he s, I mean... Well, you re going to sing forever, too.
6
SPEAKER_02
Do it.
6
SPEAKER_02
Do it.
6
SPEAKER_02
You will do it, I m not leaving without it.
6
SPEAKER_02
You ll do it before we leave, you sing on every show.
6
SPEAKER_02
But I went to, I was doing the thing, you know, I did it at the Hollywood, I mean, yes, it s insane, I can t believe I m saying half this stuff, I m telling you.
6
SPEAKER_03
But Little Mermaid is insane.
6
SPEAKER_02
But I played the chef, like, Le Poisson, Le Poisson, and I didn t know how I was gonna do it, and I thought, I m gonna just play this guy fucking batshit crazy, you know?
6
SPEAKER_02
And I did, and at the end of the thing, because I m throwing flour and I was doing all this stuff, and at the end they shoot this
6
SPEAKER_02
a big ball of flour at my face.
6
SPEAKER_02
And the characters, Prince Philip, right, is the young guy in the show.
6
SPEAKER_02
But I had this joke, and they said, oh, do it live.
6
SPEAKER_02
And I said, oh, it hits me.
6
SPEAKER_02
I go, man, I should have played Prince Albert live on ABC.
6
SPEAKER_02
Prince Albert is a piercing down there, right, Michael?
6
SPEAKER_02
Like you have.
6
SPEAKER_02
Show the people at home.
6
No?
6
SPEAKER_03
How come you weren t Eric?
6
SPEAKER_02
Because I m old because Eric was like a young he should be Eric is that what I said Prince Eric, but I said Prince Which is the piercing down there, but you should have played Prince Eric.
6
SPEAKER_02
No Of all your gigs you ve ever done.
6
SPEAKER_01
What is your favorite?
6
SPEAKER_02
I love doing cabaret on Really you could tell that was your favorite.
6
SPEAKER_03
Oh, man.
6
SPEAKER_03
I loved it.
6
SPEAKER_03
That looks creative.
6
SPEAKER_02
That s your favorite Well, I got here.
6
SPEAKER_02
Let me show you.
6
SPEAKER_02
You know what I was gonna say that like burlesque.
6
Oh
6
SPEAKER_02
Cabaret?
6
SPEAKER_02
No, it s a movie about Nazis and Jews.
6
SPEAKER_03
It was controversial, right?
6
SPEAKER_02
Well, it was a movie first with Eliza Minnelli.
6
SPEAKER_01
Is that true?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_03
Wow.
6
SPEAKER_01
That was your favorite of everything.
6
SPEAKER_02
Was it because it stretched you the most or just made you... Well, it was not long after... Doing theater was... I m not really a great singer, I m not a really great dancer, but like you guys talk about on the show, I just...
6
SPEAKER_02
I just worked really hard.
6
SPEAKER_02
I worked 10, 12 hours a day and I always thought, well if I could just, if I do that, I can do anything.
6
SPEAKER_02
And I did.
6
SPEAKER_02
The first show I did was How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying.
6
SPEAKER_02
I replaced Matthew Broderick.
6
SPEAKER_02
What the fuck was I thinking?
6
SPEAKER_02
Like I ve been dying to get back to that fearless guy forever, but sometimes I do.
6
SPEAKER_02
than Cabaret, but this guy s like a pansexual, gay Jewish guy who would fuck a goat.
6
SPEAKER_02
There is a goat fucking scene behind a curtain, and I ll show you some of it, but I don t know how I was gonna do it.
6
SPEAKER_02
And I started leaning into it, and people were walking out, and I was like, oh my God, what am I doing?
6
SPEAKER_02
And director Sam Mendes was directing it, and also Rob Marshall.
6
SPEAKER_02
And I said, what?
6
SPEAKER_02
I said, you re doing it right.
6
SPEAKER_02
You re doing everything right.
6
SPEAKER_02
Don t, don t, don t lean into it.
6
SPEAKER_02
And I just kept trying to make people walk out, you know, because they thought they were coming to see Uncle Jesse.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m like, you know, yeah, there s Kit Kat girls and I m dry humping.
6
SPEAKER_02
And, you know, there s a lot of sexual overtones.
6
SPEAKER_03
At this point, are you married?
6
SPEAKER_02
I was married to Rebecca.
6
SPEAKER_03
You were married to Rebecca.
6
SPEAKER_03
You know what s interesting is everyone in the press tried to make it seem like you were, and you mentioned this in one of your things on Instagram, that you were saying, I don t want to say mean things, that you were saying things that weren t nice about her, but you actually
6
SPEAKER_03
You were very self-aware of yourself and took accountability of yourself.
6
SPEAKER_03
They didn t really, I feel like they just pulled a snippet.
6
SPEAKER_02
What do they call it?
6
SPEAKER_02
A clickbait?
6
SPEAKER_02
They just pulled a clickbait.
6
SPEAKER_02
They just pulled a clickbait.
6
SPEAKER_02
He thought it was this and that.
6
SPEAKER_03
You were really lovely and self-aware on your own end and took full accountability for your doing in the marriage.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it was hard because I thought
6
SPEAKER_02
It was all her and she ruined my life and you know, ruined my dreams of having a wife and a kid.
6
SPEAKER_02
We always talked about having children and that sort of faded.
6
SPEAKER_02
I let myself get sort of lost in that relationship and a lot of partying and it was, you know, it just got too much.
7
SPEAKER_02
I couldn t handle it, I couldn t.
7
SPEAKER_02
But it was a time where I thought, you know, I ve done enough.
7
SPEAKER_02
I m gonna just prop her up.
7
SPEAKER_02
And it was beautiful to watch her become successful.
7
SPEAKER_02
And then when it busted up, it was very difficult, very hard for me, many, many years.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I think I felt, I just went on too long.
7
SPEAKER_02
My dad died at the same time, I started drinking even more.
7
SPEAKER_02
It was terrible.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I just blamed her for everything bad in my life, which was so, and then when I went to rehab, you re doing the steps, and one of the steps is, the fourth step is like, you write down all your resentments in one column.
7
SPEAKER_02
So I write down, you know, what people have done to you.
7
SPEAKER_02
She did this, you did that, I m filling the pay, and the sponsor says, you ve done a thing.
7
SPEAKER_02
No, give me another pencil for writing.
7
SPEAKER_02
And he said, okay, good.
7
SPEAKER_02
He said, now, in the next column, write down what part you played in all that.
7
SPEAKER_02
I said, pfft, get the fight, I m paying.
7
SPEAKER_02
He said, even if it s 5%, 2%, just write it.
7
SPEAKER_02
And as I m writing, and I was really brutally honest with myself at that moment, I realized, oh, well, maybe I had as much to do with the demise of the marriage as she did.
7
SPEAKER_02
It was just two people, you know, no good guys, no bad guys, it just didn t work out.
7
SPEAKER_00
I wasn t mature enough, I wasn t smart enough.
7
SPEAKER_02
I was with her around 10 years, 35 to, no, 30 to 40.
7
SPEAKER_02
I married her when I was like 35.
7
SPEAKER_00
I can imagine that you re both such good looking people and you re young and everyone s throwing themselves at you.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s a lot of pressure at that age.
7
SPEAKER_02
But it wasn t like that.
7
SPEAKER_02
I mean, you two are just as good looking as we were.
7
SPEAKER_02
Do you have people throwing themselves at you?
7
SPEAKER_00
You re like on the red carpet and you re like working with other actresses and she s working with other actors.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s just a lot.
7
SPEAKER_00
It would be a lot of pressure.
7
SPEAKER_03
I think it s different because, yeah, I mean, yes.
7
SPEAKER_03
You guys as celebrities are also, I mean I watch sometimes producing some of these shows when celebrities come on and like the way
7
SPEAKER_03
Like, okay, we can do a show with an entrepreneur and it s like, okay, cool, whatever, Tuesday.
7
SPEAKER_02
That s the backbone of the show though, right?
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, a lot.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I learned a lot.
7
SPEAKER_02
I like that Jesse guy, he was really good.
7
SPEAKER_02
He s amazing.
7
SPEAKER_03
But sometimes I see, like, it ll be a little tiny clip that said in one of the, it ll be a small clip that said for one minute in a long show, but it s a celebrity and I see
7
SPEAKER_03
18 publications just going in and saying all, and I m like, that s not really what the whole thing was about.
7
SPEAKER_03
It was just, they pulled this one.
7
SPEAKER_03
And I imagine that kind of narrative and pressure from the outside all the time.
7
SPEAKER_03
What I like about doing this is I can say whatever I want.
7
SPEAKER_03
I can kind of control the narrative.
7
SPEAKER_03
But I feel like you guys are at the mercy a lot of the time of whatever people decide to write.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I guess so.
7
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I remember being in here and we had a long conversation about Full House and how it started and the first, I talked about it in here, but the first scene that we did with the Olsen twins, I mean, they were babies, you know, and they didn t want to be there and they were screaming and crying and I m trying to do my lines and they re screaming over my lines.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I asked them to get rid of, you know, to bring in some other kids because we couldn t get through a scene.
7
SPEAKER_02
They didn t want to be there.
7
SPEAKER_00
It makes sense.
7
SPEAKER_02
And that s all that they took out.
7
SPEAKER_02
I think John Staples fired the doles into his right.
7
SPEAKER_02
Maybe I saw that one too.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, see?
7
SPEAKER_02
And it s clickbaited and it s fine.
7
SPEAKER_02
I mean, Josh and Ben were probably happy.
7
SPEAKER_02
I clickbaited Will on TikTok.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, maybe.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, well then they, TikTok s getting very, it s getting very mean.
7
SPEAKER_02
Like, I ll go on Instagram now and stuff, but it s too much.
7
SPEAKER_03
I think that they ve cultivated, listen, the TikTok stream, I think they ve cultivated an environment where there s a lot of tearing down on that platform, more so than I ve seen on
7
SPEAKER_02
What s interesting, I was going to say, what s kind of a, you know, you want to be interesting, you want to be honest about stuff, especially in these long forms, which is so brilliant for you guys to be doing because, I mean, Howard sort of started, right?
7
SPEAKER_02
Sure, of course.
7
SPEAKER_02
But to sit and talk for an hour, you really get to get everything out.
7
SPEAKER_02
You don t have to, you know, you guys probably didn t talk as much as you see.
7
SPEAKER_02
You re on for eight minutes, a foul or whatever, you gotta come up with four jokes.
7
SPEAKER_02
So to be able to do this is great.
7
SPEAKER_02
But you can get yourself in trouble, too.
7
SPEAKER_03
But also, I mean this with all respect, if they were like, hey, John Samuels wants to come in and talk about his book for five minutes.
7
SPEAKER_03
That s not what I want, that s not the conversation I want to have.
7
SPEAKER_03
I don t think there s any, you know, and I don t think that s the conversation that... But you have to do it on the other shows, but that s what s so great about your show.
7
SPEAKER_02
Anyway.
7
SPEAKER_00
Why don t you start a podcast?
7
SPEAKER_00
If you would have told me, by John Stamos.
7
SPEAKER_02
I like to ask questions.
7
SPEAKER_00
I like to learn about people.
7
SPEAKER_00
You d be good on a mic.
7
SPEAKER_03
I feel like I could just sit back and you could just take over right now.
7
SPEAKER_00
I know.
7
SPEAKER_03
Maybe once a month you come in and host the show.
7
SPEAKER_03
Do a co-host thing?
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
You guys should do a co-host on your hair.
7
SPEAKER_02
Would anybody even know that they switched Michael with him because they re both good looking?
7
SPEAKER_02
I can re-spin my hair back like that.
7
SPEAKER_02
I m sure you can.
7
SPEAKER_02
Be handsome.
7
SPEAKER_02
Should we call my wife?
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, call your wife.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m dying to hear about your wife now.
7
SPEAKER_00
She s beautiful.
7
SPEAKER_02
She is beautiful.
7
SPEAKER_00
And the way that you asked her to marry you, you wrote about in the book, is so cute.
7
SPEAKER_00
Can you tell Michael the way you asked?
7
SPEAKER_00
Can you even explain it?
7
SPEAKER_02
Don t make me look bad here.
7
SPEAKER_02
How did you ask?
7
SPEAKER_02
You were 12.
7
SPEAKER_02
No, no, you go, you go.
7
SPEAKER_02
Don t worry about it.
7
SPEAKER_02
No, you go.
7
SPEAKER_00
You did ask me the second I saw the one-eyed snake.
7
SPEAKER_00
You said, will you marry me?
7
SPEAKER_02
You tell your story and then if it s... Is the snake talk or is it him?
7
SPEAKER_02
You tell your story and if it s... Did you get jealous?
7
SPEAKER_02
Like, do guys... Do I get jealous?
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
I don t ever get hit on.
7
SPEAKER_02
That s what Kate, that s what my wife says, it s bullshit.
7
SPEAKER_00
I never get hit on.
7
SPEAKER_02
Bullshit.
7
SPEAKER_00
Ever.
7
SPEAKER_02
I don t believe it.
7
SPEAKER_00
Do I get jealous?
7
SPEAKER_00
You get jealous?
7
SPEAKER_00
No.
7
SPEAKER_00
Because I don t get hit on.
7
SPEAKER_02
You get jealous?
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
I like to lead with fear sometimes.
7
SPEAKER_02
You what s that?
7
SPEAKER_00
I like to lead with fear sometimes.
7
SPEAKER_02
Lead with fear?
7
SPEAKER_00
Lead with fear.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh, lead, okay.
7
SPEAKER_00
I like to keep him guessing, he never knows.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh, that s fucked up.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, my wife does that too.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s like, what are they thinking?
7
SPEAKER_02
And then you try to do a couple of things.
7
SPEAKER_00
I told him if he ever cheated on me, I wouldn t bring it up for two years.
7
SPEAKER_02
Ooh.
7
SPEAKER_03
So you d stay with him?
7
SPEAKER_03
Yep, and I would collect data who knows what happens at the end of that two years.
7
SPEAKER_03
Would you like right?
7
SPEAKER_00
I m not one of those girls that would call and freak out.
7
SPEAKER_00
I would just sit slowly slow No, you know what?
7
SPEAKER_03
I don t think we could I think that s we don t get jealous in a relationship I mean, I I think the reason being is like sure I ve seen bullshit guys hit on you.
7
SPEAKER_00
No, they don t they really don t hit on me.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m not Of course they re gonna like what kind of you know
7
SPEAKER_03
Let me put it this way.
7
SPEAKER_03
I wouldn t want to be with someone that nobody would hit on.
7
SPEAKER_02
Of course, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
What about flirting?
7
SPEAKER_02
Like if you saw her flirting with somebody?
7
SPEAKER_00
No, I don t care.
7
SPEAKER_02
You don t care?
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, okay, good.
7
SPEAKER_02
You re confident?
7
SPEAKER_02
That s good.
7
SPEAKER_00
He s quietly confident.
7
SPEAKER_00
You re good.
7
SPEAKER_03
I mean, listen, here s what I really feel.
7
SPEAKER_03
It s like any other guy you take a good luck buddy.
7
SPEAKER_03
How many years have you guys been together?
7
SPEAKER_00
Ten years?
7
SPEAKER_03
Seventeen.
7
SPEAKER_03
Seventeen we ve been together.
7
SPEAKER_03
Seventeen.
7
SPEAKER_03
Sixteen.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I don t know the exact.
7
SPEAKER_03
Sixteen.
7
SPEAKER_03
But we ve known each other for a long time.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, a long time.
7
SPEAKER_01
There is one thing that I will never give up, and that is bread.
7
SPEAKER_01
I love bread.
7
SPEAKER_01
I have to have a slice every single day.
7
SPEAKER_01
I m just like a bread person.
7
SPEAKER_01
Bread with a lot of butter, bread with jam, bread with Nutella, bread with cream cheese.
7
SPEAKER_01
I ll eat any kind of bread.
7
SPEAKER_01
And there is this brand.
7
SPEAKER_01
It is called Hero Bread, and it s really a hero.
7
SPEAKER_01
So basically, it has zero to one grams of net carbs, zero sugar, and it s high in fiber.
7
SPEAKER_01
So they hit all the points.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s delicious.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s flavorful.
7
SPEAKER_01
The one that I like that I can t shut up about is the hero seeded bread.
7
SPEAKER_01
It is so good.
7
SPEAKER_01
Toasted with grass fed butter and a little bit of jam.
7
SPEAKER_01
Sometimes I ll do like an egg on top of it.
7
SPEAKER_01
I m telling you, try it.
7
SPEAKER_01
You will love it.
7
SPEAKER_01
If you want to make a BLT with it,
7
SPEAKER_01
They also have hamburger buns and tortillas.
7
SPEAKER_01
I m just really into bread, so I love the seeded bread.
7
SPEAKER_01
But you can go on and just check out all the carbs.
7
SPEAKER_01
They have something for every single craving.
7
SPEAKER_01
Like I said, buns, tortillas, bread loaves, go check them out.
7
SPEAKER_01
They have a monthly small batch, too, of indulgent favorites.
7
SPEAKER_01
There is a hero croissant that has two grams of net carbs.
7
SPEAKER_01
And then they also have a hero cheddar biscuit with one net carb.
7
SPEAKER_01
They ve set out to make a bread that s low in carbs with no sugar.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s 45 calories, 5 grams of protein, and 11 grams of fiber.
7
SPEAKER_01
Sign me up, please.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s my dream of life.
7
SPEAKER_01
Don t give up on being a breadhead.
7
SPEAKER_01
Hero Bread is offering 10% off your order.
7
SPEAKER_01
Go to hero.co and use code skinny at checkout.
7
SPEAKER_01
That s skinny at h-e-r-o.co.
7
SPEAKER_02
Let s go back to Rickles for just one sec.
7
SPEAKER_02
I guess go back to Rickles, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
Because I wanted to show you something.
7
SPEAKER_02
Like you said, he would just take everybody out.
7
SPEAKER_00
By the way, him and his wife were so cute the way that you wrote about them.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, Barbara.
8
SPEAKER_01
for what, 60 years?
8
SPEAKER_01
Long time.
8
SPEAKER_01
And you d say to either of them, separately, you d go, how you doing?
8
SPEAKER_01
They d say, we re good.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s always we re good or we re not good, you know.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s cute.
8
SPEAKER_02
For anybody that s young listening, you have to go look up Don Rickles and go watch some of his comedy.
8
SPEAKER_02
You could probably pull your appearance with him on Howard Stern on YouTube too, I m sure.
8
SPEAKER_02
It is, yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m sure it s on there.
8
SPEAKER_01
I might do, I gotta ask you some advice, both of you guys.
8
SPEAKER_01
But I might do a podcast about Dawn.
8
SPEAKER_01
They were asking me to do that.
8
SPEAKER_01
I might do that.
8
SPEAKER_01
Maybe, can we do it here?
8
SPEAKER_03
Yes, of course you can do it.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh, it s for someone else.
8
SPEAKER_03
I think the girls might lose it, though, if John Taylor s doing that on the mic every single week.
8
SPEAKER_03
I don t know what that would do.
8
SPEAKER_03
You might need to resurrect ER.
8
SPEAKER_00
We ought to put some floor mats out for all the squirts.
8
SPEAKER_03
Oh, Jesus.
8
SPEAKER_01
Fuck, Taylor.
8
SPEAKER_03
Taylor, um... We already have floor mats for you.
8
SPEAKER_01
Is he, well that s, he spices up the show, right?
8
SPEAKER_01
He does something.
8
SPEAKER_01
How much, does he make more money than her?
8
SPEAKER_01
I pay him, I pay him.
8
SPEAKER_03
Oh yeah, I ll make some more.
8
SPEAKER_01
Good, okay.
8
SPEAKER_01
Just kidding.
8
SPEAKER_01
By the way, and I talk about it in there, my dad was so, I grew up with, you know, my mom and two sisters, and my dad was so respectful to, I mean, no means no.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I really watched the way he treated my mom and my sisters.
8
SPEAKER_01
He thought, you know, my mom was a housewife.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s what she wanted to do.
8
SPEAKER_01
And he never held it over her head.
8
SPEAKER_01
He never said, I make the money, I don t, you know.
8
SPEAKER_01
In fact, he said that her job was harder.
8
SPEAKER_01
It is harder.
8
SPEAKER_03
Sorry to everyone.
8
SPEAKER_03
Being a stay-at-home mom is hard.
8
SPEAKER_03
It s not a joke.
8
SPEAKER_02
Listen, we just had our two kids over the holidays.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s hard.
8
SPEAKER_03
In a hotel room, it s hard.
8
SPEAKER_01
Where d you guys go?
8
SPEAKER_01
We went to San Diego and Santa Barbara.
8
SPEAKER_01
Do you guys live in Austin?
8
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, we live in Austin.
8
SPEAKER_01
And you just come out here and do some shows once in a while?
8
SPEAKER_03
We come out and get all the good juice.
8
SPEAKER_01
We started this out here.
8
SPEAKER_03
But Taylor is our producer.
8
SPEAKER_01
And this is your, Dear Media is your whole thing, huh?
8
SPEAKER_01
Well, I guess it s like everybody s thing now, but we just started.
8
SPEAKER_01
But you own it and you make the money.
8
SPEAKER_01
Did you, is that her?
8
SPEAKER_01
Is that Taylor s thing?
8
SPEAKER_01
That s for sure.
8
SPEAKER_01
Did you, how long ago did you start this?
8
2018.
8
SPEAKER_02
We were in another studio and we felt like there was maybe a gap in the way they were doing things.
8
SPEAKER_01
Who runs all these businesses that you guys have?
8
SPEAKER_02
We do.
8
SPEAKER_02
Do you?
8
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_03
Skinny Confidential, me.
8
SPEAKER_01
This is mine.
8
SPEAKER_01
What I sell people is like TMJ.
8
SPEAKER_03
Oh TMJ, yeah.
8
SPEAKER_03
No, I had my jaw broken.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh gosh.
8
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, it wasn t mine.
8
SPEAKER_03
They just broke my entire jaw, they had to put it back into place.
8
SPEAKER_01
Why?
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh, because your biting s on it?
8
SPEAKER_03
It was crooked, my bite was off.
8
SPEAKER_03
Sleep was bad.
8
SPEAKER_01
Was it because of him?
8
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, it was because of him.
8
SPEAKER_03
The one-eyed sink.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s why.
8
SPEAKER_01
So you had that and then you thought you were getting some ice thing and it wasn t good on Amazon, so then you come up with that.
8
SPEAKER_03
You know what s interesting?
8
SPEAKER_03
How do you know that?
8
SPEAKER_01
Well, there s a thing called the Google.
8
SPEAKER_01
I know.
8
SPEAKER_01
No, I always like to sort of come into these things knowing about you guys.
8
SPEAKER_01
And so this was that.
8
SPEAKER_01
And this is.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I know why.
8
SPEAKER_01
Because the other ones didn t stay cold long enough.
8
SPEAKER_01
Stay cold longer.
8
SPEAKER_03
Look at this.
8
SPEAKER_03
It s not that I m not that I do not need to ice roll, but he can.
8
SPEAKER_01
I ve been given these before you put them on your face and stuff.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m getting ready to do, so I just, I did a Super Bowl commercial that s coming out.
8
SPEAKER_01
I think I can talk about it.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s called, what?
8
SPEAKER_03
That s amazing.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah it is.
8
SPEAKER_03
What s the commercial for?
8
SPEAKER_01
I should talk to you guys about this.
8
SPEAKER_01
Zim.
8
SPEAKER_01
And it s a free streaming service that plays like local sports and news and events from all over the country.
8
SPEAKER_01
So if you want to know what s going on in San Diego.
8
SPEAKER_01
Cool.
8
SPEAKER_01
And eventually it s going to be, you know what, I m not going to pull it out there, but it s going to be something that you, it s going to be your home base.
8
SPEAKER_01
You want to go there and figure out where you re going.
8
SPEAKER_01
But I m going to, I just did these commercials, which you ll see, but it s a smart thing.
8
SPEAKER_01
And then I m finally doing a men s beauty line or something.
8
SPEAKER_03
I was gonna ask you, where s the hair and skin?
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, well, I would, I m, there s, it s not, the deal s not done yet, so I can t talk about it, but what would you guys, so it s, it s, right now they have, it s under eyes and a mask and face, you know, it s a great price point and everything, it s out there now.
8
SPEAKER_03
Every guy wants to know, because I ve done my research, how you get your jawline.
8
SPEAKER_01
Jolly, I didn t there s nothing.
8
SPEAKER_01
How would you even get a fake jolly?
8
SPEAKER_03
No, no, no, no, you should do a product for it to tighten your jaw Yeah, what is that?
8
SPEAKER_03
Like there s like a mask that can go around the jaw.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh, no, but I mean look at I need a neck What s going on with the neck?
8
SPEAKER_03
Don t do anything to your face.
8
SPEAKER_03
Don t do anything.
8
SPEAKER_03
Well, the neck is different We want to know your skincare routine.
8
SPEAKER_03
I think that s so smart to do a skincare and hairline
8
SPEAKER_01
I think it s becoming popular, right, for men.
8
SPEAKER_03
It s like the next hottest category is men s skin.
8
SPEAKER_01
And there s not a lot out there.
8
SPEAKER_01
I take her stuff.
8
SPEAKER_01
Do you really?
8
SPEAKER_02
I m not kidding.
8
SPEAKER_03
Do you make... I don t make... I take the stuff she uses.
8
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I understand.
8
SPEAKER_03
But your skincare line would fucking crush it.
8
SPEAKER_02
I think you should do the hair product.
8
SPEAKER_02
That s next.
8
SPEAKER_02
Of course you should do hair.
8
SPEAKER_02
Maybe I ll do it with you guys.
8
SPEAKER_03
I can t believe you haven t done hair and skin.
8
SPEAKER_02
I know.
8
SPEAKER_02
Because even I m looking at your hair and I m getting pissed off because I m like... Yeah, it is good.
8
SPEAKER_03
What do you use in your hair?
8
SPEAKER_02
No, because it s whatever.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it s, it s AMS.
8
SPEAKER_01
I, you know, I usually I ll use, well, look, I m changing up routine because I m going to use, I ve been using this product that I m going to endorse.
8
SPEAKER_01
Which ones do you like by the way?
8
SPEAKER_03
Brands?
8
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_03
SkinCeuticals.
8
SPEAKER_01
For men.
8
SPEAKER_03
SkinCeuticals.
8
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
8
SPEAKER_03
I ll write it all down.
8
SPEAKER_01
What s it called?
8
SPEAKER_01
Dr. Dennis.
8
SPEAKER_01
No, no, I don t need any of that.
8
SPEAKER_01
I have my own coming out.
8
SPEAKER_01
We re going to make you a whole list after this.
8
SPEAKER_03
Michael will use your skincare products all day.
8
SPEAKER_03
So will Taylor.
8
SPEAKER_01
So what are other men s stuff?
8
SPEAKER_01
There s not many out there, right?
8
SPEAKER_03
No, there s not many out there.
8
SPEAKER_01
Right.
8
SPEAKER_03
It s crazy for you, out of every single celebrity that I can think of, you should have your own skin and hair care.
8
SPEAKER_01
I was trying to combine the yogurt commercials I used to do and just put yogurt on your face and your hair.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yogurt commercials you used to do.
8
SPEAKER_03
Yogurt, whatever.
8
SPEAKER_01
I had a Super Bowl commercial years ago.
8
SPEAKER_01
It was Greek yogurt.
8
SPEAKER_03
Yes, well you re Greek.
8
SPEAKER_01
What s your favorite commercial you ve ever done?
8
SPEAKER_01
The one I just did for Zim.
8
SPEAKER_01
I did some bread commercials.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I did a funny one with Geico.
8
SPEAKER_01
And this woman was, I can t remember where it goes, but she was knitting or something.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh no, something about John Samuels knit you a sweater and they cut to me and I m like sitting across from her and I m knitting a sweater and I m spinning.
8
SPEAKER_01
I had like a knitting thing and I played drums so I was spinning the thing.
8
SPEAKER_01
And Taylor Hawkins lived down the street from me, it was great.
8
SPEAKER_01
you know, the drummer from Foo Fighters.
8
SPEAKER_01
And he sent this video, he s like, I should have got that man, you were more handsome than me, but I m a stick spinner, and you re the, so sweet.
8
SPEAKER_01
So many people dying, I fucking hate it.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he just passed recently, right?
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, not long after Bob.
8
SPEAKER_01
What other men products that are out there now?
8
SPEAKER_03
You need a sheet mask, you need iPads.
8
SPEAKER_01
I do those.
8
SPEAKER_03
You need a hair mask, you need a hair gel.
8
SPEAKER_03
The hair gel would sell out.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_03
You need, there s so many, I feel like don t start with too many, just start with your four core.
8
SPEAKER_02
Is there anything that you ve passed on, looking back, that you regret?
8
SPEAKER_01
I don t say no to anything really.
8
SPEAKER_01
I love these actors that come in, some of them do, but they go, here s my career.
8
SPEAKER_01
trajectory, I did this and I thought I was gonna do this one.
8
SPEAKER_01
Usually you say, okay, I ll take that.
8
SPEAKER_01
Just today, somebody calls, oh, I ll do it.
8
SPEAKER_01
I said, well, because you never know what s gonna really hit.
8
SPEAKER_01
There s been projects that I ve done that I thought were gonna be the biggest thing and they weren t.
8
SPEAKER_01
And then you go, like Greg Berlanti asked me to do a couple episodes of the show, You, did you guys watch that on Netflix?
8
SPEAKER_01
I played the, remember the Dr. Nicky on there?
8
SPEAKER_01
And the thing blew up, I was just, so you never know, right?
8
SPEAKER_01
I mean, you wanna work with good people and everything.
8
SPEAKER_03
That s a good one, You.
8
SPEAKER_01
I turned down La Bamba, that movie.
8
SPEAKER_01
I like that movie.
8
SPEAKER_01
It was great, and he was great in it, and I thought... He was good in that too.
8
SPEAKER_01
Well, I didn t feel comfortable playing a Mexican character.
8
SPEAKER_01
Even back then I was like conscious of that, I think.
8
SPEAKER_01
And my dad was so mad because it came a hit, and there was Zorba the Greek was a big movie that Anthony Quinn did.
8
SPEAKER_00
It was a Mexican, a Mexican played a Greek, a Greek could play a Mexican, you know.
8
SPEAKER_01
But I don t, I can t think of anything that really, you know, you just do what you do.
8
SPEAKER_01
I mean, there s a lot of things that I, you know, I auditioned for that I didn t get.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m just waiting now.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m just waiting for my breaking bad.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s it.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m not stressed anymore about it.
8
SPEAKER_03
You have to tell me about your proposal to your wife.
8
SPEAKER_03
Our audience is going to freak out.
8
SPEAKER_03
I m sorry.
8
SPEAKER_03
I m sorry.
8
SPEAKER_01
No, I m all over the place.
8
SPEAKER_03
It s too cute.
8
SPEAKER_01
We did it at Disneyland.
8
SPEAKER_01
One very early morning, I got an email or a text from Bob Iger, who s, you know, who s the CEO of Disney.
8
SPEAKER_01
Just old Bob, yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
One of the greatest, greatest, I ve known him since the Full House days.
8
SPEAKER_01
He was the president of ABC, and I remember barging into his office going, Uncle Jeff, I need more lines.
8
SPEAKER_01
I was like, okay.
8
SPEAKER_01
He hit me up in the morning, like at five or something, I don t know why I was awake at the time.
8
SPEAKER_01
He said, your girlfriend s really into Disney, you know, that s so great.
8
SPEAKER_00
I follow her on Instagram, like, don t you have anything better to do at this time of the morning than talk about, you know.
8
SPEAKER_01
I said, well, I m thinking about proposing.
9
SPEAKER_02
to her, can you help me?
9
SPEAKER_02
I said, yeah, what do you want to do?
9
SPEAKER_02
I said, I want to cut together a movie of all the most romantic moments in Disney animation.
9
SPEAKER_02
And I want to go to the animation building at Disney and I want you to close it down for me.
9
SPEAKER_01
I m not telling my fucking engagement story.
9
SPEAKER_01
Just go on with yours, though.
9
SPEAKER_02
And I brought her in there, it was a hot day, and I said, can we, and they said, no, sorry, Mr. Seamus, it s closed.
9
SPEAKER_02
I said, my wife is pregnant, I gotta get her into a cool place.
9
SPEAKER_02
Okay, okay, I put on a whole act.
9
SPEAKER_02
And we get in there, and we sit down, there was nobody in there, and all of a sudden, the lights went out, and she grabs my hand, she s like, what s going on?
9
SPEAKER_02
And then all the screens around us, this movie came up of all the, you know, Kiss the Girl, and all these really sweet, romantic moments in Disney movies, and then I got down on my knee, and I,
9
SPEAKER_02
She said, will you marry me?
9
SPEAKER_02
And she literally held the ring, and before she said yes, she was, you know, she said yes, and it was really sweet.
9
SPEAKER_02
And then I had all my sisters and her family waiting for us at this club up there called 21 Royal.
9
SPEAKER_00
Did she watch you?
9
SPEAKER_00
No.
9
SPEAKER_00
No, she didn t watch any of it.
9
SPEAKER_01
Every boyfriend that is now listening is a girlfriend that s listening is screwed.
9
SPEAKER_01
What do you got?
9
SPEAKER_01
What did you do?
9
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
9
SPEAKER_00
His proposal, his proposal was cute and sweet.
9
SPEAKER_00
It wasn t Disneyland.
9
SPEAKER_01
No.
9
SPEAKER_01
It was in one bedroom apartment and just the two of us.
9
SPEAKER_00
It was beautiful.
9
SPEAKER_00
It was sweet.
9
SPEAKER_00
It was very sweet.
9
SPEAKER_02
I met, so, and our first date was to Disney World.
9
SPEAKER_02
She, so I was,
9
SPEAKER_02
I was doing an episode of SVU Law and Order, so I was doing this guest, but I was playing this character.
9
SPEAKER_02
Do you guys ever watch that show, SVU Law and Order?
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, sure.
9
SPEAKER_02
I played this character, and my agent called me and said, yeah, they wrote this great character for you, it s really good.
9
SPEAKER_02
I said, what is it?
9
SPEAKER_02
You have sex with all these women and you have 47 children, and you have, you know, I m like, why do they think of me for that?
9
SPEAKER_02
He was like a guy who, he was so egotistical, he wanted to spread his progeny all over the place.
9
SPEAKER_02
So he was tricking girls into getting pregnant, and poking holes in condoms and stuff.
9
SPEAKER_02
Did you see that one?
9
SPEAKER_02
You look like you ve seen it, or you ve done it.
9
SPEAKER_01
No?
9
SPEAKER_01
Maybe it s a true story.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yes, yes, yeah, I m playing you.
9
SPEAKER_02
And Caitlin was one of the girls, and I saw her, and I was like, oh my God, I just, I m mad, you know.
9
SPEAKER_02
I m in love with this girl.
9
SPEAKER_02
And I was so afraid to talk to her.
9
SPEAKER_02
And I finally kind of sort of talked to her at lunch.
9
SPEAKER_02
She was only there one day.
9
SPEAKER_02
And then I walked into the makeup room.
9
SPEAKER_02
I was like, okay, I m going to go up and I m going to ask her out.
9
SPEAKER_02
I walk up and she s like, and then we re getting married right over here.
9
SPEAKER_02
We re at Chelsea Pier, right over there, Chelsea.
9
SPEAKER_02
And I m like, you re getting married?
9
SPEAKER_02
She goes, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_02
I go, don t.
9
SPEAKER_02
And like, what an asshole I am, you know?
9
SPEAKER_02
And she goes, oh, okay.
9
SPEAKER_02
But we started talking about like theater and Disney and stuff like that.
9
SPEAKER_02
So she thought I was gay, which, you know, whatever.
9
SPEAKER_02
So we started texting.
9
SPEAKER_02
Oh no, I pulled a great one.
9
SPEAKER_02
Let s take a picture together.
9
SPEAKER_02
I took a picture.
9
SPEAKER_02
I go, you want me to send it to you?
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, what s the number?
9
SPEAKER_02
And so we started texting for a while.
9
SPEAKER_00
She was engaged.
9
SPEAKER_00
Smooth move, John Stamos.
9
SPEAKER_01
John Stamos got the moves, you know.
9
SPEAKER_02
Well, here s the deal.
9
SPEAKER_02
So the character had like, they finally rounded up all the women and all the kids and they all came into the precinct thing and they re like, you ve fathered 47 children.
9
SPEAKER_02
And he said, well, you haven t checked Europe.
9
SPEAKER_02
With Caitlyn, I was in the bathroom, poking a hole in a condom, reading glasses like a dope, and like this, on the show, the character, and then Ice-T, what s his name, come bang on the door, he s in there, kick the door down, come with me.
9
SPEAKER_02
And so, I eventually got her pregnant.
9
SPEAKER_02
It took, she... Not in real life, in the show.
9
SPEAKER_02
In real life, I did seven, no, no.
9
SPEAKER_02
Well, it took me seven years.
9
SPEAKER_02
She was engaged, they got married, and then... Oh, no, they actually went through?
9
SPEAKER_02
They went through?
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_02
We texted a little bit, and it was wrong, you know?
9
SPEAKER_02
I mean, it wasn t anything, you know, disrespectful.
9
SPEAKER_02
It was just like, you know, I m getting married, okay, you know, good luck.
9
SPEAKER_02
And then, seven years later, I walk into the set of Fuller House.
9
SPEAKER_02
You know, I walked on the stage, and I saw her in the stands, and I m like, no way.
9
SPEAKER_02
She was with a guy, and I thought, oh, it must be stalking.
9
SPEAKER_02
I said, don t flatter yourself.
9
SPEAKER_02
My friend is on the show this week, and I came to see her.
9
SPEAKER_02
I was like, oh, okay.
9
SPEAKER_02
This must be your husband.
9
SPEAKER_02
She goes, no, I got divorced.
9
SPEAKER_02
This is a new boyfriend.
9
SPEAKER_02
I m like, I can deal with a boyfriend.
9
SPEAKER_02
And then I started stalking her on Instagram.
9
SPEAKER_02
It was like Willy Wonka.
9
SPEAKER_02
He was trying to get that golden ticket, and he kept going.
9
SPEAKER_02
And there s pictures of the boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend.
9
SPEAKER_02
And then one day, there was pictures with no boyfriend.
9
SPEAKER_02
And I was like, she kind of scrubbed him.
9
SPEAKER_02
And we started talking and she said, I want to travel.
9
SPEAKER_02
I said, all right, let s go to Disney World.
9
SPEAKER_02
She loved it.
9
SPEAKER_02
We did Disney World.
9
SPEAKER_02
Now I m walking around Epcot and I have a hat and glasses and nobody s recognizing me.
9
SPEAKER_02
I m like, what the fuck?
9
SPEAKER_02
Okay, I m going to take my glasses off.
9
SPEAKER_02
I took my glasses off.
9
SPEAKER_02
I m trying to look at, you know, eye contact with her.
9
SPEAKER_02
Still nothing.
9
SPEAKER_02
And my hair, I got famous hair.
9
SPEAKER_02
I got to take off my hat.
9
SPEAKER_02
Took the hat off and you know, can I have mercy?
9
SPEAKER_02
And she goes, what are you doing?
9
SPEAKER_02
I got nothing.
9
SPEAKER_02
You re Epcot-ing.
9
SPEAKER_02
Stop it.
9
SPEAKER_02
It s like peacocking, but Epcot, because we were in Epcot.
9
SPEAKER_02
So she calls it Epcot-ing.
9
SPEAKER_02
She goes, that s not impressive, man.
9
SPEAKER_02
And that s when I knew, like, that she s the one.
9
SPEAKER_02
I mean, she called me out on my shit so fucking fast.
9
SPEAKER_00
You guys all love women that call you out on your shit.
9
SPEAKER_00
That s the... See, I want you to come on my TikTok.
9
SPEAKER_00
I asked Arielle and give three tips for women.
9
SPEAKER_00
The way to get the guy is to just not take their shit and to call them out on their shit.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
And you, I mean, you ve had a lot of girls throw themselves at you, I m sure.
9
SPEAKER_00
The one that you marry is the one that won t take your shit.
9
SPEAKER_02
That s how this happened.
9
SPEAKER_00
How it works.
9
SPEAKER_02
It s so easy.
9
SPEAKER_02
She never watched Full House.
9
SPEAKER_00
How it works.
9
SPEAKER_00
And she didn t watch Full House because she was underwhelmed.
9
SPEAKER_02
She didn t give a shit.
9
SPEAKER_02
She still doesn t give a fuck about it.
9
SPEAKER_02
She liked you.
9
SPEAKER_02
She said, that s the best thing I ve ever done.
9
SPEAKER_02
Not you, but I mean the TV show, sorry.
9
SPEAKER_02
She likes you too.
9
SPEAKER_02
That was cruel.
9
SPEAKER_02
I didn t mean that as a joke, honestly.
9
SPEAKER_02
Look at how successful you guys are.
9
SPEAKER_02
Vibrators and things.
9
SPEAKER_02
When did you?
9
SPEAKER_02
I thought you meant me.
9
SPEAKER_02
Did you start this?
9
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God.
9
SPEAKER_02
You started Dear Media first and then she started with the product?
9
SPEAKER_02
It s been like a little bit of like a. Egg or chicken?
9
SPEAKER_02
It s been like a little bit of like.
9
SPEAKER_00
No, he doesn t get to change the interview on us.
9
SPEAKER_00
I wanna know how it s been to have your son.
9
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God, it s the greatest.
9
SPEAKER_00
Isn t it good?
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_02
You were talking about Don earlier.
9
SPEAKER_02
You said he just laid out everybody and he did.
9
SPEAKER_02
And here he is at my 50th birthday party.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, Intel.
9
SPEAKER_02
And I just thought, I said, this is going to be like, he s just like, and everybody was ripping off.
9
SPEAKER_02
Jeff Ross was there and all these people, everybody spoke, you know, Bob hosted it, which was great.
9
SPEAKER_02
And, and, and, and here s Don.
9
SPEAKER_02
And I thought he was just going to kill me my birthday.
9
SPEAKER_02
He should.
9
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_02
What was I going to show you?
9
SPEAKER_02
Oh, the Rickles video.
9
Yes.
9
SPEAKER_01
I bet it was something sweet.
9
SPEAKER_02
It was.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_02
Well,
9
SPEAKER_00
Burt was just talking about how his success, when he took so long to hit on this podcast.
9
SPEAKER_00
He was talking about how it takes so long and you have to put so many reps in.
9
SPEAKER_00
Took him 20 years.
9
SPEAKER_00
And you have to be so militant and so disciplined and he finally, he doesn t even feel still that he s made it.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, he s so successful.
9
SPEAKER_02
What do you tell people that, I mean, the trick is to rise above the fray, right?
9
SPEAKER_02
With these podcasts.
9
SPEAKER_01
I mean, Lauren and I have been doing the show now for eight years, but if you think about... This show?
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
9
SPEAKER_01
But if you think about, like, her, it s 2010.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s a long time.
9
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it took us three years to make money.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
On the show.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I mean, I think everything takes time.
9
SPEAKER_01
Where does the money come from here?
9
SPEAKER_01
The sponsors?
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I mean just there s that and then I think the products and you know we invest in businesses and produce other people but I mean like- How do you find a business that you want to invest in?
9
SPEAKER_01
Like my skincare thing.
9
SPEAKER_01
I say listen, I ll accept nothing less for a men s skincare brand except John Stamos  face on the front.
9
SPEAKER_00
I can t believe you don t even, like I feel like that- Do you have skincare stuff that you sell?
9
SPEAKER_00
I have skincare stuff, but what do you use?
9
SPEAKER_00
I use skinceuticals.
9
SPEAKER_00
I use colostrum.
9
SPEAKER_00
I just got a salmon semen facial.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s not salmon semen.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s salmon DNA.
9
SPEAKER_00
I got salmon semen on my face.
9
SPEAKER_00
It really works.
9
SPEAKER_02
So his name was Salmon?
9
SPEAKER_00
You should make it John Stamos  Salmon Seaman.
9
SPEAKER_02
Salmon Janet?
9
SPEAKER_02
Salmon Salmon?
9
SPEAKER_00
John Salmon Seaman.
9
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_00
Should we go to Rickles just to get rid of the boner?
9
SPEAKER_02
This is the headline of the show.
9
SPEAKER_02
You should take it down to Rickles by the way, Taylor, if you don t want to have orgasm so fast.
9
SPEAKER_02
You think?
9
SPEAKER_02
That would stop it.
9
SPEAKER_02
Here, let s see, if you want to see, you know what, I wish that he was around to meet Billy.
9
SPEAKER_02
And I wish Bob was, Billy has a very, he s a very funny kid already.
9
SPEAKER_02
Very charming, too charming, you know, calm down a little bit, like we said.
9
SPEAKER_00
That doesn t surprise me.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_02
And you re a four-year-old girl?
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, maybe we should introduce, our daughter s name s Zaza.
10
SPEAKER_01
Zaza?
10
SPEAKER_00
Zaza s ready to meet Billy.
10
SPEAKER_01
How do you spell it?
10
SPEAKER_01
Zaza?
10
SPEAKER_00
Z-A-Z-A.
10
SPEAKER_01
That s cute.
10
SPEAKER_01
How did you get that?
10
SPEAKER_01
She was super into Zsa Zsa Gabor.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh, no.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
You were?
10
SPEAKER_00
I love, I m telling you, I love.
10
SPEAKER_00
You like all the old?
10
SPEAKER_00
I love it.
10
SPEAKER_00
I m like how you are with Don Rickles, I m like that with old Hollywood.
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SPEAKER_01
Really?
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Like who else?
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Who else do you love?
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SPEAKER_00
Zsa Zsa Gabor, Marilyn Monroe.
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SPEAKER_00
Who was I reading about the other day?
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Oh, Robert Evans.
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I just read his book.
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Yeah, I knew him.
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He s good.
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Did you listen to his is he has a um, you know book on tape called the kid stays there was a movie I read it You did such a good job Did you listen to the audio I read it
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SPEAKER_01
Oh, what I m saying, did you listen to the audio?
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SPEAKER_00
No, does it say the audio?
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SPEAKER_00
Did you do the audio?
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SPEAKER_00
Yes.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, I didn t listen.
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SPEAKER_01
I was going to get Britney Spears to do it, but she didn t.
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SPEAKER_01
He was great.
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I spent, I just love those old guys, you know, and I paid it like, but Don, when I first met him, like, I just paid attention to him.
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Yeah.
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And Bob was, you know, he was, you know, hanging around with Brad Gray and these guys.
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And I spent time with him.
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I would go to his office over there in Paramount.
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One time we were at dinner.
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I used to have a pubic hair collection.
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SPEAKER_01
I m like, really?
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, like little Coke bags filled with pubic hairs on a, you know, a cork board.
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My third or fourth wife made me get rid of it.
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Girls don t have pubic hair now, John.
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Okay, thanks, Bob.
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We re eating.
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SPEAKER_01
We re having dinner.
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SPEAKER_00
I think John knows that.
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SPEAKER_00
I think John knew that.
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He was great.
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One of the smartest things I ve ever heard.
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Bob Evans said that he built his tennis court at his house because and he built it the most magnificent, most expensive possible way he could with the most professional everything.
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And he said it was something that money couldn t buy.
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SPEAKER_00
And so what happened is everyone congregated towards his tennis court and would play and he would be able to use the tennis court as a way to network.
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And he said it s not that he had a ton of money, it s that he had this tennis court that every single person in Hollywood wanted to play at.
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SPEAKER_01
The show they just did on The Godfather.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that guy was great.
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SPEAKER_00
That was good, right?
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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He lost that house.
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It was a really cool house.
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I went there.
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And then Jack Nicholson, I think, bought it back for him.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh, good.
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SPEAKER_00
That s cool.
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And he lived in that house.
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SPEAKER_01
That s really cool.
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SPEAKER_01
Who else?
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Oh, I hosted Bob s Roast for Comedy Central.
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I saw that.
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And it was the last great roast, I think, because it was all his friends.
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SPEAKER_01
You didn t watch it?
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SPEAKER_00
I didn t watch much of it.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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Cloris Leach was on there.
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You would love her.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, I gotta watch it.
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She showed up, like it was, I think we did it in August, and I invited her to my birthday at my house, and she showed up about midnight, like wet, she just got out of the shower, comes in, hey, Stamos, and she s like, sitting next to my mom, I m blowing out candles, she s like, this is the camera, flipping on the camera.
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But she had a great joke on there, she said, I m not here to roast Bob Saget, I m here to fuck John Stamos.
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SPEAKER_01
That s funny, I remember that.
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SPEAKER_01
You probably like her.
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SPEAKER_00
I love it, I need to watch that.
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SPEAKER_01
It was pretty good.
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SPEAKER_00
You know who my other celebrity crush was when I was little?
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SPEAKER_01
Who?
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SPEAKER_00
Besides you.
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SPEAKER_00
James Gandolfini.
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SPEAKER_01
Really?
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My wife, the guy she had the biggest crush on, and this is why I don t really worry about, is it was Ted Danson.
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SPEAKER_01
That was her like, and I introduced her to her one time, and she was like, you know from Cheers.
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SPEAKER_00
Of course.
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SPEAKER_00
Ted Danson, that s an interesting one.
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SPEAKER_01
He s great on Curb too.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, he is good on Curb.
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SPEAKER_01
John Stamos, you re a legend.
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SPEAKER_00
You can come back anytime you want.
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I could ve looked into your eyes all day.
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SPEAKER_01
You too, both of you.
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SPEAKER_00
I mean, anytime you want.
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SPEAKER_00
I hope next time you come on, you have a skincare routine that Michael can... I want you guys to help me do it.
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SPEAKER_01
And I think you should do the Rickles podcast idea, because I bet it would be awesome.
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SPEAKER_01
I m really impressed with the two of you.
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I think it s beautiful to watch the way you are to each other.
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SPEAKER_01
The respect you show for each other, I heard on the show.
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SPEAKER_01
And you guys are like hardworking, good people, from what I gather.
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SPEAKER_01
Am I right?
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SPEAKER_01
I mean it.
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SPEAKER_01
I appreciate that.
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SPEAKER_01
I m very grateful that you guys had me on here.
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SPEAKER_01
We re very grateful that you came on.
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SPEAKER_01
Can I come back sometime?
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SPEAKER_00
You can come back literally anytime you want.
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SPEAKER_01
I thought you were taking over as the co-host.
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SPEAKER_01
You re great on a mic.
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SPEAKER_00
I m not surprised Stern had you on so much.
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SPEAKER_01
We could just talk and talk and talk.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s a lot of talking.
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SPEAKER_01
I feel bad because as I listened to some of the shows, I really learned a lot.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t know what anybody learned from this today, but just be yourself and be a good person, right?
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SPEAKER_00
You guys, go buy his book.
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SPEAKER_00
It s so good.
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SPEAKER_00
I know you ll all like it so much.
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SPEAKER_00
At John Stamos on Instagram.
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SPEAKER_00
When I saw that you were following me today, I screenshotted it and sent it to my husband and thought, if you would have told me.
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SPEAKER_01
I followed him too.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, then I screenshotted it back.
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SPEAKER_01
Where s my follow?
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SPEAKER_00
No, no, no.
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SPEAKER_00
Don t.
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SPEAKER_00
No, you don t need to see it.
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SPEAKER_00
Please.
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SPEAKER_00
No, no, no, no, no.
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SPEAKER_00
Don t.
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SPEAKER_00
I don t want to.
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Taylor Edges.
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SPEAKER_00
No, no, no.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, Taylor.
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SPEAKER_01
Unless you want to just see close-up shots of Razorburn.
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SPEAKER_01
No.
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SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
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SPEAKER_00
The Berenika Cucumber on Instagram.
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Don Stamos, come back anytime.
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SPEAKER_00
Before you guys go, you should know that Michael and I have launched a Him and Her newsletter.
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SPEAKER_00
It is all of our favorite products, thought leaders, quotes, things that we re thinking about, all in one.
10
SPEAKER_00
You get it weekly.
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SPEAKER_00
All you have to do is go to tscpodcast.com to sign up and we will send you all the hacks, tips, and tricks straight to your inbox.