0
SPEAKER_01
Hello.
0
SPEAKER_00
Hey, what s up, man?
0
SPEAKER_01
How are you doing?
0
SPEAKER_00
What s your name?
0
SPEAKER_00
What s going on with you today?
0
SPEAKER_00
What you want to talk about?
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, so I had a question.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, God, this is going to sound so bad.
0
SPEAKER_01
So in an unnamed location.
0
SPEAKER_01
I may have masturbated on a helicopter very near several guys.
0
SPEAKER_01
But they didn t see it and they didn t know what happened.
0
SPEAKER_01
So is it gay?
0
SPEAKER_00
What was the context of being in the helicopter in the first place?
0
SPEAKER_01
War.
0
SPEAKER_00
You were fighting in a war?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
0
SPEAKER_00
Riding in a helicopter?
0
SPEAKER_01
Correct.
0
SPEAKER_00
Masturbating in the helicopter?
0
SPEAKER_01
Briefly.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s a little gay.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but they didn t know.
0
SPEAKER_01
And like it wasn t about them.
0
SPEAKER_01
It was just kind of this primal urge, you know.
0
SPEAKER_00
How are you how were you able to masturbate in a helicopter?
0
SPEAKER_00
A helicopter is like a compact space.
0
SPEAKER_00
And also, what kind of hell were you?
0
SPEAKER_00
Are you were you were you a soldier?
0
SPEAKER_01
I know.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
0
SPEAKER_01
Military, not soldier.
0
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_00
You were, you were in, so you, you were like, you re wearing all this like fucking combat gear.
0
SPEAKER_00
You have an AK 47 strapped to your back and you somehow find a way to pull your dick out and masturbate?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, I mean, there s several layers and you know, granted, not everybody can make that happen.
0
SPEAKER_01
It does take some skill, but, uh, I mean, does that make it less gay because it takes more skill?
0
SPEAKER_00
Are you still in the army?
0
SPEAKER_01
No.
0
SPEAKER_00
Why?
0
SPEAKER_01
It just didn t feel right.
0
SPEAKER_01
You know?
0
SPEAKER_00
How long were you in the army for?
0
SPEAKER_01
12 years.
0
SPEAKER_00
What year out of the 12 years was the year that you masturbated in the helicopter?
0
SPEAKER_01
I plead the fifth.
0
SPEAKER_00
Where did you ejaculate?
0
SPEAKER_00
Did you ejaculate?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, of course.
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, what s the point if you don t?
0
SPEAKER_00
Where did you ejaculate?
0
SPEAKER_01
Just out the window.
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, probably stuck to the side of the thing because we re fine.
0
SPEAKER_00
You re okay.
0
SPEAKER_00
Dude, there s there s no way in hell that you ejaculated out the window of a helicopter with a filled with people without anybody knowing.
0
SPEAKER_00
There s just no way that you did that.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, so it s going to be hard to explain.
0
SPEAKER_01
But when you re wearing night vision goggles, it throws your depth perception way off.
0
SPEAKER_01
So you can t see anything within
0
SPEAKER_01
10 feet of view and your field of view is very restricted.
0
SPEAKER_01
You can only see far out.
0
SPEAKER_01
So nobody s looking inside.
0
SPEAKER_00
So you see everybody wearing night vision goggles and you go, I mean, I was wearing them too.
0
SPEAKER_00
Are you wearing them too?
0
SPEAKER_00
So, I mean, could you even see your penis then?
0
SPEAKER_01
No, God, no.
0
SPEAKER_01
You don t need to see your dick to masturbate.
0
SPEAKER_00
This is crazy that our tax dollars go to this.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, you know, it wasn t really, you shouldn t think of it like the tax dollars are paying for masturbation.
0
SPEAKER_01
It was just kind of a symptom of the environment.
0
SPEAKER_00
How so?
0
SPEAKER_01
Hard to explain unless you ve been there.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m telling you, I bet somebody in chat has experienced a combat boner.
0
SPEAKER_00
So you re saying that war makes you horny?
0
SPEAKER_01
No, not quite.
0
SPEAKER_01
Not in that sense.
0
SPEAKER_01
You can get a physical reaction.
0
SPEAKER_01
You ever heard of a NARB, no apparent reason bonus?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I know what that is.
0
SPEAKER_01
You could you could have something similar to that.
0
SPEAKER_01
But like, think of being stimulated to the max.
0
SPEAKER_01
But then also you have like the vibrations of a helicopter.
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
0
SPEAKER_00
So it was the helicopter that made you horny?
0
SPEAKER_01
Maybe.
0
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_00
Well, I m glad you re not in the military anymore.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, me too.
0
SPEAKER_00
What do you do now?
0
SPEAKER_01
Little of this, little of that, you know?
0
SPEAKER_00
That sounds like you do a whole lot more jacking off.
0
SPEAKER_01
A lot, Gak.
0
SPEAKER_01
I masturbate a lot, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Do you do anything?
0
SPEAKER_00
Are you a real person?
0
SPEAKER_00
Are you fucking with me?
0
SPEAKER_01
No, I actually, I swear, true story.
0
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, tell me more about combat boners.
0
SPEAKER_00
What, why do you think they occur?
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
0
SPEAKER_01
I like a few people that I had talked to have experienced them and acted upon them.
0
SPEAKER_01
Not quite in that manner.
0
SPEAKER_01
Looking back, not the best call, but I just think there s something to do with
0
SPEAKER_01
Really tapping into that primal caveman that s inside of all of us And if you let that guy really get a hold of everything, he s gonna want to jerk off You know, there s no cavewoman around to go bring you back to your cave.
0
SPEAKER_00
You re surrounded by guys for a year There should be some kind of Call of Duty killstreak reward that just makes the opposing team all get a boner Maybe like a tactical boner nuke tactical boner nuke
0
SPEAKER_00
Do you have a, do you tell me about your life now?
0
SPEAKER_00
What do you do?
0
SPEAKER_00
And don t say a little bit of this, a little bit of that.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m trying to not really dox myself here.
0
SPEAKER_01
You know what I mean?
0
SPEAKER_00
But, uh, you ve already doxed yourself.
0
SPEAKER_00
You re the guy who masturbated in a helicopter.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s you.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s true.
0
SPEAKER_00
And nobody cares about your first and last name.
0
SPEAKER_00
They already know much deeper information about you.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I m a helicopter masturbator.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, I work at a small shop in a pretty rural area and live a very slow life now.
0
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_00
Is that enjoyable for you?
0
SPEAKER_01
No, I fucking hate it.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, why do you hate it?
0
SPEAKER_01
Trying to figure that out, Gek.
0
SPEAKER_01
Not, uh,
0
SPEAKER_01
Not a whole lot of happiness in life ever since that year.
0
SPEAKER_00
OK, so I m going to guess it was year 12.
0
SPEAKER_01
No, it was.
0
SPEAKER_01
I think it would have been 10.
0
SPEAKER_00
OK, so when you say not a whole lot of happiness since that year, you mean the year that you masturbated in the helicopter?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Just the whole year surrounding that incident.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
OK, why is that?
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
0
SPEAKER_01
nothing.
0
SPEAKER_01
I think that s kind of the side effect of it is you for this year, I feel like you just use up so much of your body s adrenaline, you ve just this roller coaster of emotions, you re working days straight, you get a few hour nap, got to wake up, go on a mission.
0
SPEAKER_01
Go, go, go.
0
SPEAKER_01
You can never really think of anything.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then you get home all in the span of like a week.
0
SPEAKER_01
You go from that life to a grinding halt.
0
SPEAKER_01
And everything is slow and nothing s scary.
0
SPEAKER_01
And you re just a normal person again.
0
SPEAKER_01
And that is very difficult to deal with.
0
SPEAKER_00
So you miss the excitement of warfare.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but I don t miss war.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s a, it s a double edged sword, man.
0
SPEAKER_01
I, and you know, it was a whole pointless war anyway, but I don t want to get into that side of things there.
0
SPEAKER_00
But what war, what war is this?
0
SPEAKER_00
So what are we, are you, were you in Iraq?
0
SPEAKER_01
One of the countries that we were in the past 20 years.
0
SPEAKER_00
Damn dude.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s the US engaging in biological warfare right there just coming on another country blatantly.
0
SPEAKER_01
Do you think they trained me to do that and I didn t even know it?
0
SPEAKER_00
No.
1
SPEAKER_00
Do you have a family?
1
SPEAKER_00
Do you have friends?
1
SPEAKER_00
Friends?
1
SPEAKER_02
Uh, no family.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, what do you think would make your life more exciting, man?
1
SPEAKER_02
I m trying to figure that out too.
1
SPEAKER_00
How long have you been out of the military for?
1
SPEAKER_02
A couple of years now.
1
SPEAKER_00
And the whole time you ve just been hanging out in this small town?
1
SPEAKER_02
For the most part, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
Trying to find work after the military is the hardest part.
1
SPEAKER_00
Did they give you any money?
1
SPEAKER_00
Are we at a point where, I don t know any of this shit, are we at a point where if you re a veteran, you get a bunch of money, or do you not get money?
1
SPEAKER_01
No, no, you have to do a full...
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, if they found out what I did in the helicopter, I mean, for sure now.
1
SPEAKER_00
You have to do a full what?
1
SPEAKER_00
You did 12 years.
1
SPEAKER_00
You got to do 20 plus.
1
SPEAKER_00
You got to do 20 plus?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Goddamn.
1
SPEAKER_00
So you just left and they were like, all right, so you go work at McDonald s?
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, pretty much.
1
SPEAKER_02
I mean, well, you got to turn in some uniforms and stuff, but then when you get out, you can grow facial hair, smoke pot and get fat.
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, that s not so bad.
1
SPEAKER_00
Uh, you can do that without going into the military.
1
SPEAKER_00
I know firsthand.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
Nobody really told me that.
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, let s see.
1
SPEAKER_00
So in these past two years, have you done anything to make an attempt to spice up your life in any way?
1
SPEAKER_02
Not really.
1
SPEAKER_02
Um,
1
SPEAKER_02
I think I was just trying to establish my new life, you know, get a house, get a source of income coming.
1
SPEAKER_02
And honestly, for the first year, I was just trying to not kill myself.
1
SPEAKER_02
So that occupied, uh, you just, I, I, it s hard to explain.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s just, I felt so emotionally neutral that even, even if you brought me to Six Flags, I would just look at a roller coaster.
1
SPEAKER_02
and think it looks boring.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know, you know, I feel like the old guy from the Six Flags commercials when he s not at Six Flags is also actively trying every day not to kill himself.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s a good point.
1
SPEAKER_02
Maybe I should dance like him.
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, yeah, man, so you come home after a 12-year tour of around the country, and you re just, it s a total different environment.
1
SPEAKER_00
You re not around people every single day like you were.
1
SPEAKER_00
You re not as, you say, go, go, go, and having your, you know, your brain and your body are far more idle
1
SPEAKER_00
Than they were before and it s driving you it drove you fucking crazy Yeah, yeah So Are you still in and it s okay if you are you are you still in this?
1
SPEAKER_00
Like I m trying every day just to just to get through the day mode No That that got better a bit
1
SPEAKER_02
maybe six months ago, quit drinking, quit smoking, quit doing a lot of stuff, just trying to be healthier.
1
SPEAKER_02
And, uh, just, I mean, it, it just takes time.
1
SPEAKER_02
You know, there s, there s, there s nothing you can really do to just turn that ship around in a month.
1
SPEAKER_02
Everything takes time.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, I feel like, I mean, the go, go, go nature.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s, it s really just, it s really just this idea that, um, for certain, certain people like a slow life.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then there s certain people where, you know, if they re not constantly being stimulated and out and about and achieving objectives and doing things that, you know, their, their brain just goes to, to dark places when it doesn t have a thing to do, you know?
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I m not really like that geck like I don t I don t really want to go go go anymore, but that s I don t really know what I do want.
1
SPEAKER_02
That s kind of the side effect of it.
1
SPEAKER_02
But really, I just keep wishing I could be left the hell alone and go somewhere and not be a slave to the nine to five.
1
SPEAKER_02
And then I didn t know how bad everybody had it out here.
1
SPEAKER_02
This shit sucks.
1
SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
1
SPEAKER_00
So you just don t want to be a slave to your nine to five?
1
SPEAKER_02
No, God, no.
1
SPEAKER_00
Did you, did you save any money over the course of the 12 years?
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, Gak, I blew that so hard.
1
SPEAKER_02
Are you kidding me?
1
SPEAKER_00
What d you blow it on?
1
SPEAKER_02
Uh, house and then a car.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I wouldn t consider buying a house to be blowing money.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, but do we really need houses?
1
SPEAKER_02
You know, I think all the time, what if I didn t have this place?
1
SPEAKER_02
I could get in a van and drive to country or,
1
SPEAKER_02
travel the world.
1
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
How much was the house?
1
SPEAKER_02
It was cheap.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s a rural area.
1
SPEAKER_02
It was like two hundred and two hundred and thirty nine thousand, two hundred forty thousand, something like that.
1
SPEAKER_00
Spied on cash?
1
SPEAKER_02
No.
1
SPEAKER_02
No, financed a lot of it.
1
SPEAKER_00
All right.
1
SPEAKER_00
How much money did you put down on the house?
1
SPEAKER_02
Actually, none.
1
SPEAKER_02
When when you re in the military and you do a deployment, you are eligible for a VA home loan.
1
SPEAKER_02
And that s a zero down low interest rate loan.
1
SPEAKER_02
So it doesn t make a ton of sense to even really put your money up front on it anyway.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, OK.
1
SPEAKER_00
But you have equity in the house.
1
SPEAKER_02
I do.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
OK.
1
SPEAKER_00
Could you could you feasibly rent it out or sell it and use the money to get a van and travel around?
1
SPEAKER_02
I thought about that.
1
SPEAKER_02
But what happens if the furnace goes out and you re in the middle of nowhere?
1
SPEAKER_02
You know what I mean?
1
SPEAKER_02
I don t want to be a scumbag landlord if I could rent this place out for just what it cost me and Know that I wouldn t have any complications.
1
SPEAKER_02
I would do that.
1
SPEAKER_02
I would never do it for profit Okay, but what about yeah, what about?
1
SPEAKER_00
What about I mean could just sell the house then and just take the equity and buy a van and
1
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_02
But what do I do after that, Gak?
1
SPEAKER_02
Let s say I travel for a year or two.
1
SPEAKER_02
You know, I m not exactly young.
1
SPEAKER_02
You can add it up by the time I was in the military.
1
SPEAKER_02
You get back, you still don t have a job.
1
SPEAKER_02
You probably burned up the money from the equity in your house.
1
SPEAKER_02
You re back at square one.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
It is true.
1
SPEAKER_00
It is true.
1
SPEAKER_00
We live in a universe where you need to figure out some way to make enough money to eat food and not die.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
I mean, that s the idea.
1
SPEAKER_00
How much money do you need to eat food and not die?
1
SPEAKER_00
Where am I eating?
1
SPEAKER_00
Uh, the, the bare minimum that you need that you d be happy with.
1
SPEAKER_00
Uh, but you also won t have to have a job.
1
SPEAKER_02
Hmm.
1
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_02
I d have to imagine if you re on the road, you can t exactly be preparing all of your meals because you ve got restricted space.
1
SPEAKER_02
So it s probably going to be more expensive, probably more around the four, 400 bucks, three, three, 400 bucks a month.
1
SPEAKER_00
Three to 400 bucks a month?
1
SPEAKER_02
If I, I, I ve never really lived down the road, you know, but I m, I m just guessing food is more expensive.
1
SPEAKER_02
If you re trying to stay traveling, you can t, you don t have a full size fridge in a pantry, you know?
1
SPEAKER_00
Listen, I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m playing, I m playing Dave Ramsey here because it s fun, but, um, that s all right.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t know, man.
1
SPEAKER_00
I, I, uh, like,
1
SPEAKER_00
Listen, I think you could figure it out, is what I m saying.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, we ll get there.
1
SPEAKER_00
Alright, so you don t, when you said I blew my money, I thought you meant you spent it all on coke.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, I mean a little bit on coke for sure.
1
SPEAKER_01
A little bit on acid.
1
SPEAKER_01
Some fun trips in there, but no.
1
SPEAKER_00
Have you ever spoke to a real therapist?
1
SPEAKER_00
Do they give you like health insurance and shit?
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, and the first therapist I talked to
1
SPEAKER_02
The second time she saw me, she said she got moved elsewhere.
1
SPEAKER_02
So then they assigned me to a different one.
1
SPEAKER_02
And then I opened up to her and then she got transferred.
1
SPEAKER_02
And by the time I got to the third one, I was sick of the system.
1
SPEAKER_02
And then by the time I got to the fourth one and I opened up to her, she said, Jesus Christ, I don t know what to say.
1
SPEAKER_00
So you went through the therapy ringer?
1
SPEAKER_00
Tried.
2
SPEAKER_00
All right.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, again, it sounds like you re doing well.
2
SPEAKER_00
Sounds like you re doing better if you went from, I m trying every day not to kill myself to, you know, I m doing okay, I just don t want to work a job.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s the default of all people, pretty much.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, what else, man?
2
SPEAKER_00
What else while I have you on the phone?
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_02
I didn t really plan past the jerking off in a helicopter.
2
SPEAKER_02
I thought I thought that was kind of going to be the focus of it.
2
SPEAKER_02
We really went a lot deeper there than I pictured.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
I mean, jerking off in the helicopter.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s pretty funny, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
It s pretty funny, but it s I don t know if we could have talked about it for 20 whole minutes.
2
SPEAKER_02
No.
2
SPEAKER_00
Even though we sort of did.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
It was pretty, pretty small.
2
SPEAKER_02
amount of time to talk about it for 20 minutes.
2
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, I still I don t I we you ve talked about all these things and I almost I feel I feel as though we should end this phone call with some form of resolution.
2
SPEAKER_02
You know, there s no resolution.
2
SPEAKER_00
There s no resolution of any kind of anything at all.
2
SPEAKER_02
Not not today.
2
SPEAKER_02
But who s to say what tomorrow brings?
2
SPEAKER_00
That s a resolution.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that s optimistic.
2
SPEAKER_02
I ll leave you with I m not planning to to leave us here anytime soon.
2
SPEAKER_00
Great.
2
SPEAKER_00
Great.
2
SPEAKER_00
Great.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s I would say that s a good resolution.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
What s your name again?
2
SPEAKER_02
I m not saying that again.
2
SPEAKER_00
All right.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, how many times did you tell me over the course of the call?
2
SPEAKER_02
I think I think maybe once at the beginning.
2
SPEAKER_02
But, you know, whatever.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna call you Bruce.
2
SPEAKER_00
Because I could just have everyone tell me to not tell me their names and I would just, we could just all be anonymous.
2
SPEAKER_00
That would be easier for everyone.
2
SPEAKER_00
Bruce, thank you for your service.
2
SPEAKER_02
You know, Geck, I appreciate you for your service.
2
SPEAKER_00
You re out here helping everybody.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was gonna make some joke that alluded back to you.
2
SPEAKER_00
jerking off in the helicopter, but I couldn t think of anything quickly enough, so I just sincerely thank you for your service.
2
SPEAKER_02
Couldn t come up with a catchy punchline for the inner jerk off, huh?
2
SPEAKER_00
Um, nah, you re a cool guy, Bruce.
2
SPEAKER_00
I appreciate you, uh, calling.
2
SPEAKER_00
I hope you find something to, to do with your life that makes you happy.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t believe that there s no resolution to this.
2
SPEAKER_00
I think that even the mere fact that you are on an upwards trajectory from where you were before, and now you have a hope for the future.
2
SPEAKER_00
I think if you just keep tinkering around, hopefully something will, will catch your, your interest.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, we ll get there.
2
SPEAKER_00
All right.
2
SPEAKER_02
I have a feeling I ll probably find it outside of the country.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think so, too, man.
2
SPEAKER_00
Check out.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m always on Airbnb looking at like Bali, like how cheap could I live in Bali or any of these other places?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it s pretty incredible.
2
SPEAKER_02
I mean, you have places like the Philippines, too, where all the natives speak English and everything costs about a quarter of the price.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, Bruce, go jack off in your own bed.
2
SPEAKER_00
You deserve it.
2
SPEAKER_02
I will, Gak.
2
SPEAKER_02
I will.
2
SPEAKER_00
Take care.
2
SPEAKER_02
Love you.
2
SPEAKER_00
Love you too.
2
SPEAKER_00
This is, uh, this is why I do the podcast, man.
2
SPEAKER_00
You get to talk to all kinds of people about jerking off in all kinds of places.
2
SPEAKER_00
Hey, what s up?
2
SPEAKER_01
Hey.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Who is this?
2
SPEAKER_01
Hey, this is Paul.
2
SPEAKER_00
Paul, what s going on, man?
2
SPEAKER_01
Hey.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was just sitting here.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was watching Dragon Ball Z, before your stream came on, you know?
2
SPEAKER_00
You were watching Dragon Ball Z. What episode of Dragon Ball Z?
2
SPEAKER_01
Um, like three episodes from the end of the Frieza saga.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know, I know that it s like the most, I know it s like the most popular thing ever, but I ve actually never watched an episode of Dragon Ball Z. Really?
2
SPEAKER_01
That s almost hard to believe.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, even if you just watch random cartoons as a kid, you d see an episode or two.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, I kind of look like a fat version of that one green guy.
2
SPEAKER_00
What s his name?
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, there s a few of those.
2
SPEAKER_01
Piccolo.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Piccolo.
2
SPEAKER_01
Piccolo Gecko cosplay.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
I guess I look like I look like a combination of him and Boo.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
A badass version.
2
SPEAKER_01
Right.
2
SPEAKER_00
So what did you say your name was again?
2
SPEAKER_01
Paul.
2
SPEAKER_01
Paul.
2
SPEAKER_00
Paul, what do you want to talk about today?
2
SPEAKER_01
So I guess the biggest thing that I wanted to talk about, just because I thought it was more interesting than my other day-to-day problems, was that I kind of got myself into a situation where I m part of living a double life here.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I grew up a conservative Christian, and most of my friends are conservative if they re not Christians.
2
SPEAKER_01
But the last year or so, I ve been in the BDSM community where I live.
2
SPEAKER_00
I gotta say, I don t know if you mentioned this already, but you said that you are a trucker in Alaska?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
You are part of a BDSM community in Alaska.
2
SPEAKER_00
I am, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s too cold for BDSM over there.
2
SPEAKER_01
It is, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, I m currently in Washington for the winter for exactly that reason.
2
SPEAKER_00
So, I mean, do you, so there are clubs in Alaska, there s like dungeons in Alaska where people go to tie each other up and fuck each other?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, pretty much.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s less of the big, I think, I haven t been to any, but I think in,
2
SPEAKER_01
Bigger cities, they just have open clubs all the time where you can just kind of go in and do the BDSM stuff.
2
SPEAKER_01
But here it s more of a public, normal meetings, just the meet and greet.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then people have private parties and stuff once you re at the point where you re trustworthy and everything and you find somebody you want to play with.
2
SPEAKER_00
So you are, um, do you still identify as a conservative Christian?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Interesting.
2
SPEAKER_00
Do conservative Christian values and BDSM shit, do they conflict?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, they re pretty much on the opposite end of the spectrum for the most part.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I m kind of a... I can see both points of view, so depending on which group of people I m with at any given time, I just kind of find myself agreeing with whatever.
2
SPEAKER_01
Let s say you re with I would love to hear your perspective on BDSM sex From as a as a conservative Christian Okay, well I like that You can just kind of relax So I am more often than not identify as a submissive So it s kind of nice to let somebody else
2
SPEAKER_01
take control, I would say.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it s less, there s not actually that much sex in the play I was doing.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s more like, you know, beatings and tying people up and stuff like that.
2
SPEAKER_00
Do you think that God doesn t want you to tie people up and spank them on the ass?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I would say that.
2
SPEAKER_01
To a point anyways, I think the biggest conflict is Not so much the actual Well, it s kind of the actual act now I think about it Why do you think God doesn t like that?
2
SPEAKER_00
What is it that about it that bothers him?
2
SPEAKER_01
I Think that it s a
2
SPEAKER_01
gateway to more hedonistic behavior in your day-to-day life, which in my opinion, you know, it s good in doses, but I think it leads to a mindset where you re prioritizing your personal physical pleasures over other more important things in your life.
3
SPEAKER_00
to the point where it becomes almost an addiction of like I have to be feeling good all the time or I can t function.
3
SPEAKER_01
Do you feel like you neglect important things in your life to feel good?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I try not to do that all the time but that s definitely something I struggle with.
3
SPEAKER_01
What s something recently that you feel like you neglected to
3
SPEAKER_01
get whipped?
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, putting my one group of friends on hold for one thing, because, you know, the two don t really mesh, so I ve kind of distanced myself from the people I love and care about a lot to do that.
3
SPEAKER_00
But on the other hand, I get another group of people.
3
SPEAKER_01
Tell me about these friends in both groups.
3
SPEAKER_00
So the older friends, and it s not like a group of like super hardcore Christians.
3
SPEAKER_00
We re like, oh, you know, we all, we, we hate the other group, but it s just more of a core value type of thing.
3
SPEAKER_00
Most of them don t actually go to a church.
3
SPEAKER_00
They re kind of like me where they grew up Christian and now they re just conservative other than one friend that I have is basically the perfect Christian in my opinion.
3
SPEAKER_01
What makes him the perfect Christian?
3
SPEAKER_00
He just has the ability to get along with people, even if he doesn t agree with what they stand for.
3
SPEAKER_00
And he just has an amazing way of how to describe like he ll just put himself or put others before himself in all situations.
3
SPEAKER_00
But he s able to maintain a balance of like
3
SPEAKER_00
not just being a pushover at the same time, which is something I would like to be able to do.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I, I kind of go one way or the other.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m either doing whatever anybody says, or I m getting to an unhealthy mindset where I just get tired of being pushed around and then I don t look out for anybody except myself.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then I kind of go back and forth between those two mindsets.
3
SPEAKER_01
Hmm.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s very interesting because a lot, nothing of what you ve told me so far has really been anything about God.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s just about personal human values.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I would agree with that.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m not a hard, practicing Christian, I would say, or a hardcore Christian.
3
SPEAKER_00
I go to church occasionally, but it s, I don t know, it s more about the community of people that I m around.
3
SPEAKER_01
Now, do your conservative Christian friends know about your BDSM life?
3
SPEAKER_00
Some of them do, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
Why do you feel like there s a conflict?
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, the main conflict actually comes from the other end of things with the
3
SPEAKER_00
the BDSM community because I m not out as a conservative because, you know, they re kind of conflicting.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I don t judge people for what they do.
3
SPEAKER_00
I just vote differently than them.
3
SPEAKER_00
But over there, at least in our community, any mention of being conservative or Christian or anything like that, they don t like it at all.
3
SPEAKER_00
They kind of gang up on people.
3
SPEAKER_01
You don t want, you don t want, you don t want your BDSM friends to know that, uh, that you voted for Trump.
3
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yup.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, well, um, huh.
3
SPEAKER_01
You re a, you re, you re a peculiar little cookie.
3
SPEAKER_00
Uh, yeah, I ve been told that a few times.
3
SPEAKER_01
So, um,
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, like, tell me, okay, so I feel like I learned a little bit about your Christian friends.
3
SPEAKER_01
Tell me more about your BDSM friends.
3
SPEAKER_00
So for my now ex, but until recently, my girlfriend was actually one of the community leaders who hosts parties and events and meet and greets and stuff like that.
3
SPEAKER_01
What happens?
3
SPEAKER_00
We just had Different outlooks on what future could bring I guess we started as a There s a polyamorous relationship.
3
SPEAKER_00
So she already had a long-term partner and Going into it.
3
SPEAKER_00
I didn t know if I d like it or not doing the polyamory thing then it turned out that I didn t like it So that was the main
3
SPEAKER_00
reason.
3
SPEAKER_00
But when we started, she and her long term partner were just partners.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then all of a sudden, one day she just dropped the ball that they were getting married, which didn t really sit well with me.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I kind of broke off.
3
SPEAKER_01
What is it that draws you to the sort of alternative lifestyle polyamory BDSM community?
3
SPEAKER_00
It s fun.
3
SPEAKER_00
And everybody, you know, there s a lot of naked people, so that s always enjoyable.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know what, I guess it doesn t have to really be deeper than that.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s, you know, that s the main part of it.
3
SPEAKER_00
And everybody s really happy.
3
SPEAKER_01
What draws you to Donald Trump and the conservative stuff?
3
SPEAKER_00
I think because being, having more conservative values is what I want to focus on in my day-to-day life and just the direction that I think personally that, you know, I don t have all the answers, but the direction I think personally that the values we should be focusing on and the direction the country should go.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I guess I kind of view that as like my, you know, my blue collar day-to-day mindset.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then the BDSM stuff is like,
3
SPEAKER_00
on the weekends to the side.
3
SPEAKER_01
Now, what do you consider to be, how would you define those values, those values that you would like to see more of?
3
SPEAKER_00
Just more of a, no, I had all the answers to that until you asked me that question and now that I think about it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Uh, I guess a lot, some of it is, uh, like financially, uh, I think the conservative lifestyle, uh, goes is makes more sense to me financially.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, just.
3
SPEAKER_01
Do you have a do you do you It s okay if you don t have an answer to this question, but okay Okay, well, can I can I say can I say something?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, if you don t have an answer to this question Like Maybe like
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, what is all of this stuff even coming from?
3
SPEAKER_01
Is this just like an identity that you ve built that you haven t really taken a second to reconsider or think more deeply about?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I would say that s at least part of it because, you know, that s how I grew up.
3
SPEAKER_00
So it s a core part of my identity.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay, this core part of your identity.
3
SPEAKER_01
This is a genuine question.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m not trying to look.
3
SPEAKER_01
Look, look, I m not here to fucking what you know, tell anybody to do anything but this core part of your identity.
3
SPEAKER_01
Does does it continue to serve you well in your life?
3
SPEAKER_01
I m not saying you need to have the answer to that question immediately, but it s something to think about.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I would say that it does in terms of it drives me.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s one of the things that motivates me and drives me.
4
SPEAKER_00
to keep going forward in the way that I want to live my life in terms of looking to the future in terms of where I want to be in like five or ten years career wise and how I want to go about starting a family one day I suppose.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, this is a funny thing, because you re just talking about self-improvement.
4
SPEAKER_01
You re just talking about personal values.
4
SPEAKER_01
You re not even really talking about God or about politics or any of this stuff.
4
SPEAKER_01
You re really just talking about, like I said, personal values and self-improvement.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
I get part of that because I don t want to piss anybody off.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_00
I guess I don t want to talk about it because a lot of the time when I start talking about it, I get called a bigot or whatever, which I don t think you do, but you ll do.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I guess that s part of my hesitation, why I m not really used to talking about it.
4
SPEAKER_01
So so OK, so then when I asked you these questions before, were you not answering them because you were afraid to talk about it or because you genuinely didn t have an answer?
4
SPEAKER_00
A little bit of both.
4
SPEAKER_01
little bit of Not want to talk about a little bit of brain fart Okay Well again, I ll leave it at the question of whether or not These things continue to serve you and I only you can really answer that question, but it s worth thinking about yeah, especially if
4
SPEAKER_01
You re entering all these different communities and universes and trying to find a universe that makes you feel happy to exist in.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know what I m saying?
4
SPEAKER_01
A little bit?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Did you storm the Capitol on January 6th?
4
SPEAKER_00
No, I did not.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
Uh, well, Paul, well, let s see, Paul, is there anything else I should know about you or anything else you want to talk about in this scenario?
4
SPEAKER_01
In this, in this, in this conversation?
4
SPEAKER_00
No, I guess not.
4
SPEAKER_00
Just, uh, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, great show.
4
SPEAKER_01
Paul, Paul, I want you to, you know what, Paul?
4
SPEAKER_01
I, I, I want to challenge you.
4
SPEAKER_01
I actually think that you should start the first Christian BDSM club.
4
SPEAKER_01
I really do.
4
SPEAKER_01
I really, I really want to challenge you to, to think deeply about whether or not your values truly are as in conflict with one another as you think they are.
4
SPEAKER_01
Because look,
4
SPEAKER_01
Uh, if you found out that there was a Christian BDSM club, I mean, you d be the first one in line in the morning.
4
SPEAKER_01
So there s others like you out there.
4
SPEAKER_01
So throw, uh, throw it out there.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, you could be on the cusp of something, something beautiful.
4
SPEAKER_01
Who knows?
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, just imagine, I mean, by the way, by the way, nothing kinkier than getting nailed to a cross.
4
SPEAKER_01
That is true.
4
SPEAKER_01
You could say Jesus was the first.
4
SPEAKER_01
That could be cool.
4
SPEAKER_01
You could have a, like a Jesus nailed to the cross with the, uh, the gimp mask on and you re whipping him.
4
SPEAKER_01
Do you should do all right.
4
SPEAKER_01
If you don t do this, I m going to do this.
4
SPEAKER_01
So, um, I look forward.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, well, when you do that, I ll, I ll be the first one on the door.
4
SPEAKER_01
Uh, Paul, is there anything else you want to say to the people, the computer before we go?
4
SPEAKER_00
Uh, nope.
4
SPEAKER_00
Other than just, uh, thanks for, uh,
4
SPEAKER_00
Having me, if nothing else, it felt good to talk about it to somebody.
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, it s not really a problem I can talk about out loud to most people.
4
SPEAKER_01
Take care, Paul.
4
SPEAKER_01
Have a good one.
4
SPEAKER_00
You too.
4
SPEAKER_00
Thanks, Paul.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s perfect, man.
4
SPEAKER_01
The symbol for Christianity is a BDSM sex position.
4
SPEAKER_01
getting nailed to a cross and whipped and fucked and jizzed on.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s an idea, it s an idea.
4
SPEAKER_01
Hey guys, it s Lyle here.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m about to do some ad reads, but if you re a premium member of the podcast, you will not hear them.
4
SPEAKER_01
Premium members, or Gek Legends, as I like to call them, get access to every episode of this podcast ad-free.
4
SPEAKER_01
They also get bonus episodes, recordings for my live shows, members-only streams, and they support my ability to keep doing this show for a long time,
4
SPEAKER_01
do it in cooler, more interesting places, and also eat food, which is important.
4
SPEAKER_01
If any of that sounds cool to you, you can go to therapygecko.supercast.com to become a GECK legend, or find the link in the episode description.
4
SPEAKER_01
Alright, let s do some ads.
4
SPEAKER_01
Hello?
4
SPEAKER_01
What s up, dude?
4
SPEAKER_01
Hi, who s this?
4
SPEAKER_01
This is the gecko guy from the internet.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh my god, Lyle.
4
SPEAKER_01
What up, man?
4
SPEAKER_01
What s up, dude?
4
SPEAKER_01
What s your name?
4
SPEAKER_01
My name s Devin.
4
SPEAKER_01
How are you?
4
SPEAKER_01
Devin, I m good.
4
SPEAKER_01
Have we ever spoken before?
4
SPEAKER_02
We have.
4
SPEAKER_02
I got engaged at your Portland live show.
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh, fuck.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, homie.
4
SPEAKER_02
What s up?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, dude.
4
SPEAKER_01
Holy shit.
4
SPEAKER_01
I remember that.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
My fiance s son and I are just playing Fortnite.
4
SPEAKER_02
I ll put it on pause.
4
SPEAKER_01
How are you doing?
4
SPEAKER_02
Doing fantastic.
4
SPEAKER_02
Thank you.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, yeah, I, I doing good.
4
SPEAKER_01
How are you?
4
SPEAKER_01
Tell me more about that now.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m trying to remember it was, this is at Mississippi studios.
4
SPEAKER_01
It was in Portland.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
So, um, we ended up going to the Mississippi studios.
4
SPEAKER_02
It was funny cause we actually had VIP tickets and we had no idea where to go cause we were buying drinks.
4
SPEAKER_02
And like last second I had it all planned out and I was like, I m going to text Lyle.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I asked if I can go up on stage and he texted me back and you re like, let s do it.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then like it all hit and it was super real.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I was like, Oh God.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then I got up there and, uh, you had a Jewish leather daddy that just converted to Judaism.
4
SPEAKER_02
And after the show, he asked if we wanted to, if he could marry us and officiate us.
4
SPEAKER_01
Wait, really?
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, really.
4
SPEAKER_01
Did he?
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, like right before, uh, no.
4
SPEAKER_02
I was friends on Instagram.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I wouldn t have let him do that either.
4
SPEAKER_02
I ll be real.
4
SPEAKER_02
He s actually invited, man.
4
SPEAKER_02
He s a cool dude.
4
SPEAKER_02
Wait, really?
4
SPEAKER_01
Wait, that s so cool.
4
SPEAKER_01
By the way, I didn t say that to be mean to that guy.
4
SPEAKER_01
It was just, I was just trying to be funny.
4
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no, no.
4
SPEAKER_01
So for context, for the context of people listening, I mean, I guess I m not going to add any further context with what I m about to say, but
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, there was this dude in like all leather, like BDSM gear who came up on stage to talk about converting to Judaism, which was the most random thing a guy dressed like that could have possibly talked about.
4
SPEAKER_01
And he was one of the people that came up on stage that night.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then there was you and your fiance.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so you just started hanging out with that guy after the show.
4
SPEAKER_01
And now he s invited to your wedding.
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
So we actually started talking on Instagram and he s super cool.
4
SPEAKER_02
Strangely, he knows like a couple of my friends.
4
SPEAKER_02
I live further south like near Eugene if anyone s in Oregon.
4
SPEAKER_02
And he knows quite a few people that I know.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I m like, oh, wow.
4
SPEAKER_02
What a small world.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s cool, man.
4
SPEAKER_01
Goddamn.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I was curious about this because is your wife, was she a fan of the show or was she like, why the fuck did you pick this Gecko Guys live show to do this at?
4
SPEAKER_02
So it s actually really funny.
4
SPEAKER_02
I used to work at Office Depot and one of my associates always had his Spotify on and your podcast always popped up and I was like, who the hell is this guy?
4
SPEAKER_02
And finally, I quit the job.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I reached out to him and I was like, Hey, there s this dude, I m looking for like new podcasts.
4
SPEAKER_02
And he was dressed as a gecko and he s like therapy gecko.
4
SPEAKER_02
I was like, cool.
4
SPEAKER_02
So I started listening to you and I was working nights.
4
SPEAKER_02
And one day I had it open and she happened to listen to it too, like through my phone.
4
SPEAKER_02
Um, and she was like, wow, he s really funny.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then you started popping up on our algorithm and we just kind of got hooked, man.
4
SPEAKER_02
We were like, you re super great.
4
SPEAKER_02
You really help people.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, and like, her mom listens now, and my mom listens, my grandma listens.
4
SPEAKER_01
Nah, nah, she s cool.
4
SPEAKER_01
You re good.
5
SPEAKER_00
How s everything going?
5
SPEAKER_00
How s being married?
5
SPEAKER_00
Is it exactly the same as before?
5
SPEAKER_01
No, actually, it s pretty awesome.
5
SPEAKER_01
I had started a new, not really a new job, but a new location.
5
SPEAKER_01
And when I was introducing myself to the team, I was like, hey, I m married.
5
SPEAKER_01
Instead of being like, yeah, I got this girlfriend back home.
5
SPEAKER_01
It is what it is.
5
SPEAKER_01
It kind of feels a little better, a little more air of relief.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s nice.
5
SPEAKER_00
Did the leather guy try to convert you to Judaism?
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, was he trying to get you to have a Jewish wedding?
5
SPEAKER_01
No, no, but I have been, I ve been dabbling my feet.
5
SPEAKER_01
I ve been kind of looking at Judaism and I m like, huh?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s kind of interesting.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_00
What, what, what s, what s catching your interest?
5
SPEAKER_01
Honestly.
5
SPEAKER_01
So where I live, there s a huge sense of community and I m like, huh, that s something that s really cool compared to like all the different sects of like,
5
SPEAKER_01
Christianity, you know, like just all these different runs of people that are like, I m Mormon or I m this, I m that.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it s like, nah, we re just, we re Jewish and we re hanging out.
5
SPEAKER_01
We re having really good times together and just keeping it real.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, huh, that s kind of interesting to me.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I feel like, um, growing up, I always felt like I, you know, like, like Mormons and Christians, they were always trying to like, get folks.
5
SPEAKER_00
But, um, Jews, we were not really out there.
5
SPEAKER_00
We re not knocking on doors, you know?
5
SPEAKER_00
No.
5
SPEAKER_01
No, I grew up in a town full of Jehovah Witnesses.
5
SPEAKER_01
And most of them were on our doorstep every weekend.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s a that that that s what that s what in our culture we would call a whole thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, all right.
5
SPEAKER_00
So, oh, you know what?
5
SPEAKER_00
You texted me, Devin, and you this is why I called you.
5
SPEAKER_00
You texted me because you said you wanted to talk about Christmas versus Hanukkah movies.
5
SPEAKER_00
What does that mean?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
So I actually wanted to ask you what you think
5
SPEAKER_01
is the worst Christmas movie or special versus the worst Hanukkah movie flash special.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I can t really think of very many.
5
SPEAKER_00
There s not that many.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, there s like the Rugrats.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was literally about to say there s the Rugrats.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what dude is Jewish from the Rugrats that made that happen.
5
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, there s the Rugrats.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, the Rugrats have a Hanukkah one and they also, the Rugrats did all the Jewish stuff because they got a Hanukkah one and a Passover one.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
The Passover one rocks.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
What else?
5
SPEAKER_01
Eight Crazy Nights, Adam Sandler.
5
SPEAKER_00
I actually have never seen that movie, but I remember wanting to watch it as a kid and my mom wouldn t let me.
5
SPEAKER_01
We watched it last night with our son.
5
SPEAKER_01
He s nine.
5
SPEAKER_01
I feel like it s okay.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s a great movie.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if I have a worst Christmas movie.
5
SPEAKER_00
I have a best one.
5
SPEAKER_00
I have my favorite one.
5
SPEAKER_01
Let s hear it.
5
SPEAKER_00
The Polar Express, of course.
5
SPEAKER_01
No way.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, dude.
5
SPEAKER_00
No way, Lyle.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s my grandma s favorite movie.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s your favorite movie?
5
SPEAKER_01
Favorite Christmas movie.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s our favorite Christmas movie together.
5
SPEAKER_01
We watch it every year together.
5
SPEAKER_00
Fuck your fiance, dude.
5
SPEAKER_00
Why don t we get married then?
5
SPEAKER_00
Dude, what up?
5
SPEAKER_00
Let s do it.
5
SPEAKER_00
We could do this.
5
SPEAKER_00
Do it.
5
SPEAKER_00
I like the Polar Express is a great movie because it really is like it s one night.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s, you know, this beautiful, cozy town.
5
SPEAKER_00
um there s like horror elements the the the girl doesn t have her ticket so the um conductor takes her out to murder her but we find out he doesn t murder her he just gives her hot chocolate the hot chocolate in the movie it looks so good
5
SPEAKER_00
What else I mean, it s a beautiful everyone in the movie the movie just makes you want to cry the whole time because it s just It s like a nice old.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s just a bunch of nice old guys.
5
SPEAKER_00
They re the conductor and You know you have all those really nice people just together on one train and it s like magic right there of all the people I would be most disappointed to find out as a pedophile it would definitely be the conductor of the Polar Express and
5
SPEAKER_01
What about the kid with the glasses?
5
SPEAKER_01
The weird little nasally kid.
5
SPEAKER_01
What if he grew up and was a pedophile?
5
SPEAKER_01
It d be pretty gross.
5
SPEAKER_00
Um, him?
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t care about him and his fictional life at all.
5
SPEAKER_01
Hey man, I also had another question.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Just cause I m looking at something right now.
5
SPEAKER_01
What do you think about Arnold Schwarzenegger s turbo man?
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what that is.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like jingle all the way.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what that is.
5
SPEAKER_01
Really?
5
SPEAKER_00
No.
5
SPEAKER_01
So it s a movie about Arnold Schwarzenegger dressing up as like a Power Rangers superhero guy and saving his kid at a parade.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s got Sinbad in it.
5
SPEAKER_01
He s a postman that really wants to blow people up.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I think it s a Christmas movie.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think I would probably rather watch a YouTube video about seven things you missed in the Kingdom Hearts 3 trailer than watch that.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, that s fair.
5
SPEAKER_00
I could.
5
SPEAKER_00
What s the best Hanukkah movie?
5
SPEAKER_00
There s no Hanukkah.
5
SPEAKER_00
There s not a big market for Hanukkah movies.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t think that it s.
5
SPEAKER_00
Why not?
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, because there s like two Jewish people.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s fair.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, they made movies about like.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, like, hmm.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m not sure.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m trying to think of, like, any good Hanukkah movies.
5
SPEAKER_01
I know there s, like, a few specials, but... I don t even think there s a few.
5
SPEAKER_00
I can t- I can only name- So far, we ve only named two.
5
SPEAKER_00
Hanukkah media.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s true.
5
SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
5
SPEAKER_01
We should make a push for that.
5
SPEAKER_01
Eh.
5
SPEAKER_01
You wanna make a Hanukkah movie?
5
SPEAKER_00
Eh.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s a whole thing.
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, it is a whole thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
What else?
5
SPEAKER_01
You could teach me about Hanukkah.
5
SPEAKER_00
You sound like you know more about fucking Hanukkah than I do, man.
5
SPEAKER_01
Nah, dude.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m only learning what I know from a dude up in Portland that wears leather.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that guy definitely knows a thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
That guy probably has a crazy Hanukkah.
5
SPEAKER_00
That leather guy, he probably lights all the candles of the menorah and then uses it to burn the fuck out of his back in like a crazy... He probably drips menorah candle wax in his asshole.
5
SPEAKER_01
Is that a thing?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, probably.
5
SPEAKER_01
I know that like Grinch porn is a thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
What s Grinch porn?
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, like rule 34, like porn of the Grinch?
5
SPEAKER_01
No, like, no.
5
SPEAKER_01
So my fiance used to work at the adult shop and they sell Grinch costumes, like the green Grinch guy.
5
SPEAKER_01
And people dress up as the Grinch and do that stuff.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, I guess that s, I guess that s not any weirder than having sex in a gecko costume.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s fair.
5
SPEAKER_01
How many times have you done it in a gecko costume?
5
SPEAKER_01
You don t have to tell me.
5
SPEAKER_01
My name s Devin, but you don t have to tell me.
5
SPEAKER_00
He is my stepson.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
How s, so is it, is it, is he like full time with you guys or is he, does he see like his, his, his, his other dad or is it just you two raising him together?
5
SPEAKER_01
Just us, which is pretty cool.
5
SPEAKER_01
That is pretty cool.
5
SPEAKER_01
The, yeah, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
He, uh, he definitely full time, uh, he s full time here and 100% ours.
5
SPEAKER_01
So likes all the same stuff we do and
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you guys have a Christmas tree yet?
5
SPEAKER_01
We do.
5
SPEAKER_01
After the call, I can send you a picture of it.
5
SPEAKER_00
What s your favorite ornament on the tree?
5
SPEAKER_01
Um, hmm.
5
SPEAKER_01
Right now, so we had this like, I m looking at one of our tiny trees.
5
SPEAKER_01
We have a rainbow one.
5
SPEAKER_01
Um, it s got a little like star on top, but on top of the star, it s got a wizard hat and a beard.
5
SPEAKER_01
That one s probably my favorite right now.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s pretty cool.
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you guys... Bro, that s so cool that you made friends with that leather guy and that he s gonna be at your wedding.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m stoked about that.
5
SPEAKER_00
I love that kind of shit.
5
SPEAKER_00
Dude, I actually... I met... I did a show in Japan.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I met this couple a few shows later.
5
SPEAKER_00
I forget which country I was in, but there was the couple, it was like these two people who came to my Japan show together, came to one of my shows in this other country, and I was like, oh shit, I remember you guys.
5
SPEAKER_00
And they were like, yeah, we re together now.
6
SPEAKER_01
I don t remember
6
SPEAKER_03
I just look at his picture on Instagram.
6
SPEAKER_03
I m like, Hey, I know you.
6
SPEAKER_03
We did.
6
SPEAKER_01
We met on Instagram.
6
SPEAKER_01
Does he have a bunch of pictures of him in like leather?
6
SPEAKER_01
Does he have a picture of himself with a leather keepa?
6
SPEAKER_03
I believe so.
6
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_03
Now that I m thinking about it.
6
SPEAKER_03
Yes.
6
SPEAKER_03
I think it was posted a couple of days ago.
6
SPEAKER_03
I ll have to look again.
6
SPEAKER_03
It s been a minute.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s really fun.
6
SPEAKER_03
Um, we were shopping a couple, like,
6
SPEAKER_03
A few weeks after your show and someone that we had also met in line to talk to you with worked at a local store and they were like, Hey, I know you.
6
SPEAKER_03
And I m like, excuse you.
6
SPEAKER_03
Who are you?
6
SPEAKER_03
I m like, you re a therapy gecko.
6
SPEAKER_03
We talked in line.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, cool.
6
SPEAKER_03
I was like, what, what?
6
SPEAKER_03
And she s like, yeah, man, you don t remember me.
6
SPEAKER_03
I was like, I m sorry.
6
SPEAKER_03
I don t, I really don t.
6
SPEAKER_03
I wanted to do a shout out if she s listening, her and her fiance or
6
SPEAKER_03
husband or boyfriend or whoever, I m really sorry that I forgot who you were.
6
SPEAKER_03
It s all right.
6
SPEAKER_01
I forget people all the time.
6
SPEAKER_01
And, uh, you know, it s fine.
6
SPEAKER_01
People get upset and then you just, you know, you live your life.
6
SPEAKER_01
You go to sandwich.
6
SPEAKER_03
Hey, I had a question also.
6
SPEAKER_03
Another one.
6
SPEAKER_03
I m sorry.
6
SPEAKER_03
What s up?
6
SPEAKER_03
How do you deal with like all these people that are just so upset all the time?
6
SPEAKER_03
Um, like upset at me?
6
SPEAKER_03
No, no, just like upset in general.
6
SPEAKER_03
Like sometimes on your show you have a lot of happy people and you get like a lot of sad people that are just like existential and really rough.
6
SPEAKER_03
And I m like, Hey man, why?
6
SPEAKER_03
You know, like let s just chill.
6
SPEAKER_01
Bro, I don t know.
6
SPEAKER_01
I ve been thinking about that a lot lately because we ve had a lot of like crazy calls like that.
6
SPEAKER_01
And, um, dude, I don t know.
6
SPEAKER_01
I think I just like,
6
SPEAKER_01
At this point, I feel like I m showing up to, you know, this, like, you know, I m showing up to work.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m, like, doing the thing.
6
SPEAKER_01
This is what I do.
6
SPEAKER_01
This is the show.
6
SPEAKER_01
And sometimes it s a little bit, you know, more dense than others.
6
SPEAKER_01
You know, at the end of the day, I think that having these these dense conversations and having like a regular window into
6
SPEAKER_01
You know, that kind of stuff and a window into the way that people are feeling, even if those feelings are negative.
6
SPEAKER_01
I think that that s a helpful thing for me.
6
SPEAKER_01
I hope it s a helpful thing for the people that are listening.
6
SPEAKER_01
And so even on the days where I m just like, fuck, I don t know if I can do this shit.
6
SPEAKER_01
You know, we just we do it and we sell T-shirts.
6
SPEAKER_03
Hey, man, that s pretty cool.
6
SPEAKER_03
That s pretty normal, honestly.
6
SPEAKER_03
I sell coffee all day, and my highlights are, like, besides coming home, just telling people, like, I hope this makes you feel better today.
6
SPEAKER_03
Whereas, like, you re able to actually give them full-on advice, and the chat is awesome all the time.
6
SPEAKER_03
So thank you, as well.
6
SPEAKER_03
I just think that s cool.
6
SPEAKER_03
I think you guys do a really cool thing, and I m glad to be a part of that community, so.
6
SPEAKER_01
Devin, man, is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?
6
SPEAKER_03
You know I do.
6
SPEAKER_03
Stop making your drink order so complicated.
6
SPEAKER_03
We don t like it.
6
SPEAKER_01
Alright, I ll stop.
6
SPEAKER_01
Everyone.
6
SPEAKER_01
I just like a little bit of almond milk.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s it.
6
SPEAKER_01
I just like almond milk.
6
SPEAKER_03
Just a quarter spoon of almond milk.
6
SPEAKER_03
Just a quarter spoon of almond milk.
6
SPEAKER_03
That ll work for me.
6
SPEAKER_01
Hey, thank you for the kind words, Devin.
6
SPEAKER_01
It means a lot and Mazel Tov to you and your family.
6
SPEAKER_01
Take care, man.
6
SPEAKER_03
Hey.
6
SPEAKER_03
Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas, guys.
6
SPEAKER_01
Take care, dude.
6
SPEAKER_03
Bye.
6
SPEAKER_01
I could do a- we could do a Christmas- I mean a Hanukkah movie.
6
SPEAKER_01
We could do a Hanukkah movie.
6
SPEAKER_01
I could do the- the- How the Gecks Stole Hanukkah.
6
SPEAKER_01
I like that.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s just me... shoving candles up my ass.
6
SPEAKER_01
Hello folks, it s Lyle here.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s the end of this episode, but get this, I m releasing a bonus episode this week.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s right, an entire extra hour of the podcast that you can listen to by becoming a premium member of Therapy Gecko over at therapygecko.supercast.com.
6
SPEAKER_01
Supercast subscribers get access to bonus episodes, they get a completely ad-free podcast feed of the regular show, they get recordings from my live shows, members-only streams, and they help support my ability to continue doing this podcast.
6
SPEAKER_01
So here s a clip from this week s members-only bonus episode.
6
SPEAKER_01
You texted me and you said, um, I d like to talk about how I came for the first time the day that my grandfather died.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
A couple weeks ago, my grandpa died.
6
SPEAKER_02
You know, whatever happens.
6
SPEAKER_01
Wait, hold on.
6
SPEAKER_01
This happened a couple weeks ago?
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
He died on October 28th.
6
SPEAKER_01
You came for the first time a couple weeks ago?
6
SPEAKER_02
Listen, listen, listen, there s some backstory to this, okay?
6
SPEAKER_02
There s backstory to this.
6
SPEAKER_01
All right, I m listening, I m listening.
6
SPEAKER_01
If you wanna hear this full conversation, you can sign up to become a premium member at therapygecko.supercast.com or find the link in the episode description.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s therapygecko.supercast.com.
6
SPEAKER_01
All right, I have nothing else to say.
6
SPEAKER_00
Taking your phone calls every night.
6
SPEAKER_00
Therapy kit goes to his right.
6
SPEAKER_00
He s teaching you how to live your life.
6
SPEAKER_00
But he s not really an expert.