0
SPEAKER_00
Hello.
0
SPEAKER_00
Hello.
0
SPEAKER_00
Is this Lyle?
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SPEAKER_00
Who is this?
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SPEAKER_00
This is Tristan.
0
SPEAKER_00
Tristan.
0
SPEAKER_00
How are you doing?
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SPEAKER_00
Tristan.
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SPEAKER_01
Yes.
0
SPEAKER_00
Take me off a speakerphone.
0
SPEAKER_01
You are not on speakerphone, but I wasn t moving around.
0
SPEAKER_00
Am I on a headset?
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SPEAKER_00
Am I on a headset?
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SPEAKER_01
Different spot.
0
SPEAKER_00
Am I on a headset?
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SPEAKER_01
Not at all.
0
SPEAKER_00
Am I on AirPods?
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SPEAKER_01
Her phone is to the head.
0
SPEAKER_00
Phone s to the head?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yep.
0
SPEAKER_00
Okay, now!
0
SPEAKER_00
And then your phone explodes and it kills you.
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SPEAKER_00
Right.
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SPEAKER_00
Like that scene from Grand Theft Auto 5.
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SPEAKER_01
It s an old Nokia.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, um, well Tristan, what s going on?
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SPEAKER_00
How s life?
0
SPEAKER_01
Uh, it s been interesting.
0
SPEAKER_01
How about yourself?
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SPEAKER_00
Uh, who cares about me?
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SPEAKER_00
Why has your life been interesting?
0
SPEAKER_01
Uh, okay.
0
SPEAKER_01
So, what I texted you was about my ex-fiance s secret life.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, I met her like September, 2022.
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SPEAKER_01
And apparently she met another dude around the same time.
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SPEAKER_01
And she was going back and forth between him and I, and she got pregnant, like within a month of, you know, me meeting her.
0
SPEAKER_01
So I thought not knowing this other guy, that that kid was mine.
0
SPEAKER_01
Right.
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SPEAKER_01
So supported her.
0
SPEAKER_01
through all of the pregnancy, through, you know, all of seven months until I found out that kid wasn t mine through a paternity test.
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SPEAKER_01
And after that, I was kind of like doing some digging around, trying to find some answers, because nothing was really adding up.
0
SPEAKER_01
I went over to her grandmother s house, and they told me about this other guy, how she would tell them that
0
SPEAKER_01
You know, he s the father, but I know him.
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SPEAKER_01
I couldn t have kids.
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SPEAKER_01
I wanted to raise her kid as my own.
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SPEAKER_01
It was it s a Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
The fun story.
0
SPEAKER_00
So you knew this woman for a month and then she got pregnant?
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, a little bit over a month.
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SPEAKER_00
How d you meet her?
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SPEAKER_00
Through Tinder.
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SPEAKER_00
Through Tinder.
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SPEAKER_00
And, uh, you thought the kid was yours.
0
SPEAKER_00
And, um, when did you find out it wasn t?
0
SPEAKER_01
I found out February 15th of this year.
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SPEAKER_00
How long was that after you had met?
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SPEAKER_01
Um, so I met her in 2022.
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SPEAKER_01
So just about two years.
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SPEAKER_01
Um, the baby was seven months old and I didn t have a job at the time that I met her.
0
SPEAKER_01
So I went around looking for a job.
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SPEAKER_01
I m like, okay, if I m going to have this kid, I m going to have to, you know, be, be able to support both of them.
0
SPEAKER_01
And so I got a job at Taco Bell, worked my way up within eight months.
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SPEAKER_01
I was the regional manager.
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SPEAKER_01
I took over that store that I, you know, started working at and then got a job with the County.
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SPEAKER_01
So I m working for the County now and
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SPEAKER_01
Some things weren t adding up.
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SPEAKER_01
Some things just made me question.
0
SPEAKER_01
So behind her back, I did one of those like DNA swabs and sent it in.
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SPEAKER_01
I got the results the 15th of February and I didn t know what to do about it.
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SPEAKER_01
So I kind of got the results.
0
SPEAKER_01
I looked at them, went back and, you know, I was just looking at the baby.
0
SPEAKER_01
Then looking at her, she knew something was off.
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SPEAKER_01
So she ended up going through my phone while I was sleeping and saw the DNA test.
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SPEAKER_01
And when I woke up, she was gone.
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SPEAKER_01
She took the ring and stole my Forerunner.
0
SPEAKER_00
Damn.
0
SPEAKER_00
So you raised this kid, so,
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SPEAKER_00
You meet a woman on Tinder.
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SPEAKER_00
You have this crazy accident pregnancy.
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SPEAKER_00
You step the fuck up.
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SPEAKER_00
You go, I m gonna raise this kid.
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SPEAKER_00
You have the kid.
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SPEAKER_00
The kid s seven months old.
0
SPEAKER_00
You find out it s not yours.
0
SPEAKER_00
Am I recapping this correctly?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and the same night she was gone.
0
SPEAKER_01
I woke up.
0
SPEAKER_00
Where was the kid?
0
SPEAKER_00
Did she leave the kid?
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SPEAKER_00
Did she take the kid?
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, she took the kid.
0
SPEAKER_00
Fucking damn.
0
SPEAKER_00
So what?
0
SPEAKER_00
Aw, man.
0
SPEAKER_00
And this was two months ago that this happened, yeah?
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Seeing the results, I felt like, you know, I lost a child.
0
SPEAKER_01
Like, I didn t know how to kind of react, and I didn t want to just blow up on her.
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SPEAKER_01
So I kind of just wanted to sit with that information for a minute before I did anything about it.
0
SPEAKER_01
And she knew something was wrong.
0
SPEAKER_01
So she went through my phone and, you know, changed the passcode on my phone.
0
SPEAKER_01
So I had to like factory reset it and I lost all my photos and, you know, a bunch of important things that I need.
0
SPEAKER_01
But, you know, that s kind of a small inconvenience compared to everything else.
0
SPEAKER_01
but on top of already feeling like I just lost a child, they were gone.
0
SPEAKER_01
There were no answers.
0
SPEAKER_01
There were no, you know, nothing added up.
0
SPEAKER_01
So, you know, I did some detective, detective work.
0
SPEAKER_01
I found out who the actual father was and he and I right now seem to be doing okay.
0
SPEAKER_01
Like we re friends, we re talking about it.
0
SPEAKER_01
We kind of have a very similar experience with this woman and
0
SPEAKER_01
Right now I m just trying to get my name off the baby s birth certificate.
0
SPEAKER_01
So like, I m not, you know, having to pay child support or whatever for a child that s not mine and kind of just move on with my life.
0
SPEAKER_00
So you and this kid s father became friends.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
What do you, what do you guys talk to him last night, actually?
0
SPEAKER_01
About what?
0
SPEAKER_01
Uh, well, we talked about different like experiences that we had with her, like how we met everything like that.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, my attorney is actually trying to attach him on the like whole court situation.
0
SPEAKER_01
So he can sign like, okay, if I get a paternity test and I m the actual father, then I ll step up and be that baby s father, you know?
0
SPEAKER_01
So we re just trying to figure out how to go about doing all this and potentially get him full custody of the child because
0
SPEAKER_01
She s very clearly not someone that should be raising a child right now.
0
SPEAKER_00
So what s his deal with her?
0
SPEAKER_00
Like, how did this even like, uh, what s, what s his story with her?
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, it s like eerily similar.
0
SPEAKER_01
Uh, we met her at around the same time, September.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, I don t know if I met her first or how that went, who met her first, but
0
SPEAKER_01
You know, met on Tinder, talked it up.
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SPEAKER_01
Things are going well.
0
SPEAKER_01
And, uh, she got pregnant, like very, very soon into both of us talking to her.
0
SPEAKER_01
And, um, you know, he did the same thing I did, stepped up, was like, shit, I don t have a job right now.
0
SPEAKER_01
I need to figure out, okay, what am I going to do?
0
SPEAKER_01
What s the best way to raise this child?
0
SPEAKER_01
So he got a job.
0
SPEAKER_01
He, you know, worked his ass off.
0
SPEAKER_01
supported her as I supported her.
0
SPEAKER_01
So she, later I found out and found like different jewelry and stuff like that.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s yeah, very similar to what I went through.
0
SPEAKER_00
So was he, so he was still having a relationship with her throughout the whole time that you were?
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
So her family is about like 40 minutes, an hour away.
0
SPEAKER_01
And she would want to go and visit them.
0
SPEAKER_01
So I let her borrow my truck, drive down to visit her family while I went to work.
0
SPEAKER_01
And sure enough, she was going to see him.
0
SPEAKER_01
Like June of last year, she convinced me to let her take my truck to Santa Cruz to do like this camping trip with her friend, like this guy.
0
SPEAKER_01
But I always thought that they were just close friends, you know?
0
SPEAKER_01
And apparently the tent that I bought her to use because she was pregnant, they, you know, did their business in the tent.
0
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, they were still a thing all the way up until October of last year while her and I were together.
0
SPEAKER_01
So she just would go back and forth and
1
SPEAKER_00
you know, tell this part of her family, like, oh, he s the father.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then the other part of the family, like, he s not the father, but he doesn t want to talk about it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Just, you know, don t bring it up.
1
SPEAKER_00
He knows he s not the father, but he wants to raise the child like it s his, because he can t have kids, which I can.
1
SPEAKER_00
He s just manipulative.
1
SPEAKER_01
And so was she, when the baby was born, how d that work?
1
SPEAKER_01
Like, was this other guy, like how the fuck, how the fuck did she keep this charade going once the baby was born?
1
SPEAKER_00
So when the baby was born, I was with her and I stayed up holding her hand and helping her get the epidural.
1
SPEAKER_00
stayed up all the way like through like four in the morning, her water broke 440, the baby was already out.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like it was a very fast, like crazy birth.
1
SPEAKER_00
And after things calmed down, I fell asleep.
1
SPEAKER_00
And after I fell asleep, she actually called the actual father was like, Hey, I m sorry that I didn t have time to warn you and let you know about coming to the hospital.
1
SPEAKER_00
But your daughter is here.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I was literally
1
SPEAKER_00
five feet from her just to sleep.
1
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
1
SPEAKER_00
And she watched me sign the voluntary declaration of parenthood that the fathers do.
1
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
1
SPEAKER_00
And in the state of California, it s incredibly difficult to nullify that signature because they don t want those children to become wards of the state.
1
SPEAKER_00
So, like, even if you re not the actual father and later on it, you know, you find out,
1
SPEAKER_00
If you sign that, it s incredibly difficult to, you know, take it to court and get it to be taken off unless you actually know the father and he s willing to step up.
1
SPEAKER_00
Hence why I, you know, became friends with the actual father because he seems like a chill dude.
1
SPEAKER_00
And, you know, we just got played by a woman.
1
SPEAKER_01
Um, I mean, that s, that s such a, I can t even begin to understand how she was able to keep this charade up while being pregnant.
1
SPEAKER_01
Cause it s like, even like, you know, trying to have like two boyfriends at once is, is, it sounds like a complicated fucking thing, but to do it while you re pregnant and both of them think they re the father.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, that s in that, how the fuck do you even do that?
1
SPEAKER_00
Which unfortunately I don t even know if
1
SPEAKER_00
It was only the two of us.
1
SPEAKER_00
Right.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know, there s possible there was more.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I, I was working 12 hour plus shifts.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I was working my ass off the moment I would get home.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like I, I was tired.
1
SPEAKER_00
I, I got to a point where I couldn t keep fighting and pushing for answers because she would throw in just enough truth and make it provable, but still be a lie.
1
SPEAKER_00
So she was very good.
1
SPEAKER_00
She s a con artist.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like her, her family is just the same.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like her little sister ended up moving in with us because her grandmother kicked her out, which later I found out they planned it.
1
SPEAKER_00
They, you know, lied to the grandmother and she got custody of her little sister.
1
SPEAKER_00
But, uh, I ve looked into that girl s eyes and I honestly saw all evil.
1
SPEAKER_00
I, I just.
1
SPEAKER_00
fought and fought to keep pushing and she would threaten to leave and like go to her mom s in Modesto and I didn t want to not be a part of my child s life so I just kind of caved and you know at a certain point I was too tired to keep fighting and I was just getting walked over.
1
SPEAKER_01
So do we know where she is and where that kid is?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I actually went down.
1
SPEAKER_00
My attorney told me, if you know where the forerunner is, just go and get it.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I drove down there after work one day, hopped into it, drove, started driving.
1
SPEAKER_00
They ran out of the apartment and like climbed on top of it.
1
SPEAKER_00
She was current, like in the middle of this bashing the window, trying to break it with the keys and they wouldn t get off the car.
1
SPEAKER_00
So the cops were called, they came, I showed them, like, hey, my attorney told me to get my car back.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so the cops called AAA for me and helped me tow it back home.
1
SPEAKER_00
And yeah, it s been through quite a lot of craziness.
1
SPEAKER_01
And what, and okay, so you got to get your car from this woman and then your buddy, your new friend, he s got to get his kid.
1
SPEAKER_01
What s up with that?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Our court date is September.
1
SPEAKER_00
And, you know, part of that is, OK, we need a court mandated paternity test.
1
SPEAKER_00
So that ll be done for both of us for the baby.
1
SPEAKER_00
It ll prove that I m not the father and, you know, find out if he truly is the father.
1
SPEAKER_00
Right.
1
SPEAKER_00
Does he even know that he s the father?
1
SPEAKER_00
There s not like a third guy.
1
SPEAKER_00
We don t know.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, my God.
1
SPEAKER_01
How old are you, man?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I m 25.
1
25.
1
SPEAKER_01
Jeez.
1
SPEAKER_01
And this has been your do and this this whole doozy has been going on for two years, almost something like that.
1
SPEAKER_00
From since I ve known her.
1
SPEAKER_00
But, you know, the crazy, extra crazy stuff, I guess, has been since since February.
1
SPEAKER_01
Hmm.
1
SPEAKER_01
So, okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
I got to ask you this.
1
SPEAKER_01
Um, like you and this guy, like, is he your boy now?
1
SPEAKER_01
You guys ever like hang out and just like get high and play Fortnite?
1
SPEAKER_01
Like what s up?
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, we ve been trying to set up a time to meet up.
1
SPEAKER_00
He s, he s a bit far away cause he was kind of in that side of her life, but we re trying to set something up hopefully next week to finally meet in person.
1
SPEAKER_00
But like when,
1
SPEAKER_00
I got the 4Runner and they were loading it up on the tow truck.
1
SPEAKER_00
I called him and I was telling him what happened and he s like, yeah, fucker dude.
1
SPEAKER_00
All this stuff.
1
SPEAKER_00
So he s on my side.
1
SPEAKER_01
Man, that d be cool if you guys became like good boys, you know, planned a trip to Vegas together, hung out.
1
SPEAKER_00
I can honestly highly see that.
1
SPEAKER_00
He seems like a chill, genuine dude.
1
SPEAKER_01
So what s next for you, man?
1
SPEAKER_01
Do you have anything positive and good planned for your life?
1
SPEAKER_00
I m planning a trip to the Philippines next year.
1
SPEAKER_00
I have a nice job now.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m happy, content, found a work, get more experience and then move on to a better paying job.
1
SPEAKER_00
But where I m at right now, I m pretty good.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was a weight lifted off my shoulder.
1
SPEAKER_00
I wasn t ready to have a kid and I especially wasn t ready to be with this person.
1
SPEAKER_00
But I proposed because I thought that kid was mine and just trying to do everything right.
1
SPEAKER_00
But now I can focus on myself.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s wonderful, man.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s really great.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I m sorry that uh, it s that s such a with that s gotta be such a weird Crazy feeling.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it really must be like losing a child but in this weird way where you know, like you d like you were saying like you weren t even really ready and But you know you stepped up and then you find out the kids not yours and it s really painful, but it s also a weird
1
SPEAKER_01
relief, you know, because now you get to go to the Philippines, you get to live your own life.
1
SPEAKER_01
It sounds like you ve recovered well from this, this crazy thing.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it still mentally fucks with me.
1
SPEAKER_00
But, you know, it s kind of, I m doing what I can about it.
1
SPEAKER_00
And everything else that I can t do anything about it, I just kind of have to let go.
1
SPEAKER_00
it doesn t affect anyone else but myself to have you know hatred in my heart for that or anything else so I m just kind of accepted and move on try to make the best of it what s your name again I m Tristan you re good
2
SPEAKER_00
fucking dude Tristan I appreciate that really yeah it has been a roller coaster I mean this is a crazy crazy thing I mean if this happened to me it would drive me completely insane and you I mean I m sure it did drive you completely insane and maybe took a little while but you seem like you got a decent head on your shoulders still after everything I mean there s so much more
2
SPEAKER_01
like on top of it, but I tried to just kind of lay out a base foundation of that shitshow.
2
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, that s honestly, like I thought about drinking and I kind of did a little bit afterward.
2
SPEAKER_01
Went for like, drank for like a week and was like, this isn t helping.
2
SPEAKER_01
This isn t doing anything.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t smoke weed.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t, you know, do drugs.
2
SPEAKER_01
I work for the county, like I can t do any of that stuff.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I basically only have alcohol and I just don t get anything out of that.
2
SPEAKER_01
I ve always been into dirt bikes and kind of through the relationship, I was taking care of her.
2
SPEAKER_01
She was on bed rest and, you know, I kind of lost all my hobbies.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was taking care of two children.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then when her sister came, three.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I kind of would work, I would get home, make dinner, clean the house.
2
SPEAKER_01
They wouldn t do anything.
2
SPEAKER_01
They would just be on their phones and, you know, doing whatever.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, I took the baby after I got home, made dinner for everyone.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was kind of just doing it all.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I didn t have time for any hobbies, but like I learned how to ride a dirt bike when I was two years old.
2
SPEAKER_01
So bought a YZ 450 and just going out to Prairie city, doing my thing.
2
SPEAKER_00
Would you ever have a kid of your own with a sane person?
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh God, with the same person?
2
SPEAKER_01
No.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, no.
2
SPEAKER_00
I said with a sane person.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, with the same person.
2
SPEAKER_01
I ve genuinely looked into like vasectomies.
2
SPEAKER_01
And honestly, if I never had a kid, I m okay with that.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like it was rewarding to, you know, see the progression.
2
SPEAKER_01
change those diapers and, you know, really be there for that child.
2
SPEAKER_01
But, you know, that kind of thing where people talk about, like, the moment I saw my child, just the amount of love in my heart changed.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, I didn t know what love was before I met my child.
2
SPEAKER_01
That didn t happen for me.
2
SPEAKER_01
And maybe it will for when, you know, it s the same person and I know that s my kid.
2
SPEAKER_01
But, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, Tristan, look, man, you ve been through a crazy roller coaster and it s like you truly are that whole thing of no good deed goes unpunished.
2
SPEAKER_00
So, my brother, enjoy the motorbiking.
2
SPEAKER_00
Motorbiking, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Enjoy the motorbiking.
2
SPEAKER_00
Enjoy the Philippines.
2
SPEAKER_00
Enjoy whatever the fuck you wanna do with your life, man.
2
SPEAKER_00
I mean, you re a young, single guy with no kids and a remote job.
2
SPEAKER_00
Go crazy.
2
SPEAKER_01
Kinda what I m doing, just finding myself again and making the best of it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Is there anything else that you wanna say to the people of the computer or that you wanna just talk about it in general before we go?
2
SPEAKER_01
I do wanna appreciate you, you know,
2
SPEAKER_01
calling me up and letting me have some kind of way to talk about this.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like I don t, don t really talk about this with my friends or, you know, haven t gotten an actual therapist or anything like that.
2
SPEAKER_00
So is there a reason you avoid talking about this with your friends?
2
SPEAKER_01
Um, it s my close friends.
2
SPEAKER_01
They were like, when I told them that the kid wasn t mine, they re like, I fucking called it.
2
SPEAKER_01
So they re not, they re helpful.
2
SPEAKER_01
They absolutely are like it.
2
SPEAKER_01
We joke about shit.
2
SPEAKER_01
We have a dark sense of humor, but they re not someone that I would go to and be like, Hey, I feel empty inside or, you know, anything deep like that.
2
SPEAKER_01
So that s why I don t really talk to them about it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Do you feel empty inside?
2
SPEAKER_01
No, not really.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think honestly, I was.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was depressed and not exactly happy when I was with her.
2
SPEAKER_01
And now that I m kind of free again, and I m doing all these different things to get back to being me, I feel good.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s wonderful, man.
2
SPEAKER_00
Look, you know, I appreciate you coming on here and telling your story.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m inspired by the great perspective that you have on all of this.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I wish you the best of luck and be careful in the Philippines.
2
SPEAKER_00
I just got back from Thailand and I didn t I didn t realize that it is 100 degrees all the time in that area of the world.
2
SPEAKER_00
So, you know.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
And humid.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Definitely.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m from I grew up in Arizona.
2
SPEAKER_01
The day I left and moved to California, it was 126 degrees, but that s just dry heat.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s not like Texas where it s super hot and humid.
2
SPEAKER_00
But it s fun.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s cool, man.
2
SPEAKER_00
You ll have one thing.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, please.
2
SPEAKER_01
I bet I will hit me to all the people expecting a child, you know, heavily think about doing a paternity test before you sign anything.
2
SPEAKER_01
I know in Tennessee, they now made it a federal crime for paternity fraud.
2
SPEAKER_01
which is what I went through.
2
SPEAKER_01
Um, and just, you know, have that conversation with your partner.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, Hey, you know, it has nothing to do with you.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s just kind of a secondary thing.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like I want to make sure without any doubt, highly suggested, you know, take care of Tristan.
2
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Take care of that.
2
SPEAKER_00
That was a fascinating phone call, man.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know, that phone call actually reminded me of something that I wanted to take the chance to talk about on the podcast just real quick.
2
SPEAKER_00
I ve been thinking about this recently.
2
SPEAKER_00
So a question I get asked a lot that I kind of previously hadn t
2
SPEAKER_00
had a good answer for, I kind of came up with my answer, or at least one of my answers.
2
SPEAKER_00
People will ask me a lot like, what have I learned from doing this, from talking to all these people, like on the street and on the podcast and all that.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I ve probably learned a lot of things that I haven t quite yet figured out.
2
SPEAKER_00
But one thing that I know I ve learned from talking to all these people
2
SPEAKER_00
truly is that like fucking life is like a matter of perspective, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
Because like, look at this fucking guy that we just talked to.
2
SPEAKER_00
This guy went through a crazy roller coaster of emotions that for a lot of people
2
SPEAKER_00
could have spent the rest of their life dwelling on and letting it fuck them up and letting it make them depressed and fearful and distrusting and sad for a long time, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
But
2
SPEAKER_00
This guy Tristan, I mean, he s a good fucking guy.
2
SPEAKER_00
And at the end of all this, where he is right now, he s got a great perspective on his life.
2
SPEAKER_00
And he s taking advantage of it, and he s not sitting here like, you know, oh, I ll never trust anyone again, I ll never do anything again, you know, this just fucks me up.
2
SPEAKER_00
He s...
2
SPEAKER_00
he s got a really good perspective and so he s happy and he s not empty inside and he s not he s he s able to recover because of his perspective you know and that s what i ve learned from talking to a lot of callers because some people will call in and talk about the most fucked up shit like remember that like that guy who blew his fucking arm off
2
SPEAKER_00
You know two weeks before he had called me He was I mean he wasn t all great, but he was chillin joking around you know some people will just call and talk about these these crazy fucking life situations that they ve been in and they get through it they get over it because they internally have an optimistic positive perspective and
2
SPEAKER_00
And then other people will be like, you know, my other people, they ll be like, you know, I lost $100 investing into Bitcoin and my life is completely decimated and I ll never be happy again.
2
SPEAKER_00
Right.
2
SPEAKER_00
So that s one of that s just something I wanted to say is that and I think
3
SPEAKER_01
about it with my own life too because you know you know I get to live a cool life doing this stuff but you know I also I get I get I get horribly depressed all the time and and I m you know I talked about this a little bit in a previous podcast with that guy Mike it s like how much of this shit is is external life events versus just what you make of it in your own head and I don t have a fine I don t have a final answer to that question I m still
3
SPEAKER_01
Figuring all of that out as as both my internal Brain chemistry and perspective shifts as well as the external realities of my life I m still arriving at an answer that question, but I just want to say that s one of the things I ve learned from talking to all these people is that It s it s crazy important
3
SPEAKER_01
What your brain decides to make of your situation More so even than the situation itself But yeah, good luck Tristan don t uh I don t know don t Don t die in a motorcycle accident.
3
SPEAKER_01
I feel like I just jinxed you
3
SPEAKER_01
If you if I feel like if now I feel like if you die in a motorcycle accident, it s my fault But you re that s not gonna happen to you Because God is good and he will protect you Tristan.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if that s true I m sorry Good luck Tristan Hey Lyle Hey, what s your name champion?
3
SPEAKER_00
My name is Rocky
3
SPEAKER_01
Rocky.
3
SPEAKER_01
Is that your real name or did someone give you that name?
3
SPEAKER_00
It s kind of a nickname that my friends know me by.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s not my real name.
3
SPEAKER_01
How d you get the name Rocky?
3
SPEAKER_00
My name kind of sounds like ASAP.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so then the nickname turned into ASAP Rocky, the rapper.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then my friends just shortened it to Rocky.
3
SPEAKER_01
What s your real name?
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, you don t have to tell me, but you can.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s a pretty unique real name, so I prefer not to disclose it.
3
SPEAKER_00
I bet it s Aesop.
3
SPEAKER_00
One might think that.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because you said it was pretty close to Aesop.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s kind of like that, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
All right, do you think people are gonna be able to identify you now so you don t wanna talk about stuff on here?
3
SPEAKER_00
Nah, it s probably fine, I don t have anything incriminating to talk about.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay, well what s up man, what s going on?
3
SPEAKER_01
A$AP Rocky, I m just gonna call you Dan.
3
SPEAKER_01
I ve realized this, I can just call people, I think it s okay because this whole thing, it s supposed to be anonymous anyway.
3
SPEAKER_01
So, because I have this whole thing where I forget everyone s name.
3
SPEAKER_01
But why is that even matter?
3
SPEAKER_01
I would rather like don t even tell me your name I only use the name as something to identify you by so why don t I just assign everybody a name?
3
SPEAKER_01
Instead of asking for their names and then we can do our anonymous phone call thing and not have to deal with you know the bullshit of names You know, that s a that s a good point it s a good point you could start doing that from now on yeah, I m gonna do oh Yeah, actually, I like the name Rocky.
3
SPEAKER_01
I ll call you that Rocky.
3
SPEAKER_01
What s up?
3
SPEAKER_01
What you want to talk about?
3
SPEAKER_00
So, I mean, I take you a couple of things.
3
SPEAKER_00
One was that me and my roommates have a 9-11 themed gambling machine where the jackpot is you blow up Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden.
3
SPEAKER_00
Where d you get that?
3
SPEAKER_00
We got it for free on the side of the road and it like works too, which is like the best part.
3
SPEAKER_01
You have a picture of it?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Text it to me.
3
SPEAKER_01
Text it to the number.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay, all right.
3
SPEAKER_01
You found it on the side of the room.
3
SPEAKER_01
So what the jack so it s a slot machine.
3
SPEAKER_01
And if you what what s on the slots is like if you get to if you get three Osama bin Laden heads in a row it blows up.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, it s like it ll it ll put up like a bomb.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then it s like Saddam Hussein or some of them on next to it.
3
SPEAKER_00
They blow up.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, it s an exaggerated animation, their eyeballs come out and whatnot.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, so this is like a... It s got like a screen and shit.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, it s a slot machine kind of style thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
Do you have, um... Do you... Did you send it already?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think I did, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s a video, I don t... Oh, it s a video.
3
SPEAKER_01
Alright, let me watch this video.
3
SPEAKER_01
What the fuck?
3
SPEAKER_01
Why this video is not playing?
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, what?
3
SPEAKER_01
What s the brand?
3
SPEAKER_01
What s it called?
3
SPEAKER_00
The gambling machine is called magic bomb.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then like that it it s like from 2002 is the the specific screen thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
Magic Bomb Slot Machine 9-11.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m just gonna Google it, see if it comes up.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, it doesn t.
3
SPEAKER_01
Alright, hold on, let me try to get this video going.
3
SPEAKER_01
This is gonna be really fun for all the audio listeners.
3
SPEAKER_01
The video listeners too, I m not even gonna put this video in the fucking thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
So, this is just gonna be...
3
SPEAKER_01
listening to me watch a video, which I think is fun.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay, hold on.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m still looking for it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Let s see.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
All right.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, this video is a piece of shit.
3
SPEAKER_01
You somehow... Yeah, this video is not working.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I m sorry about that.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t have a picture of it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Alright, well... Send it to me later, that s...
3
SPEAKER_01
All right, never mind.
3
SPEAKER_01
All right.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know what?
3
SPEAKER_01
Fuck this.
3
SPEAKER_01
Fuck this.
3
SPEAKER_01
Fuck this.
3
SPEAKER_01
All right.
3
SPEAKER_01
What s it?
3
SPEAKER_01
Hold on.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, I want to find it, but I feel like I m just wasting.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if people are listening to this in their cars right now, and they re like, what the fuck?
3
SPEAKER_01
I m watching.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m listening to a guy try to find a YouTube video.
3
SPEAKER_01
Magic.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I guess people listen to podcasts like...
3
SPEAKER_01
to simulate, like, other pe- someone else being in the room, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
And, like, this is kinda like, like, you know when you re, uh, in a room with another person, and that other person s trying to find a video on YouTube?
3
SPEAKER_01
This is kinda like that.
3
SPEAKER_01
So this, I guess, provides something to- I just- Magic Bomb Slot Machine 9-11.
3
SPEAKER_01
Is that- Okay, hold on.
3
SPEAKER_01
Osama... Bin- Magic Bomb Slot Machine Osama Bin Laden.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, it s not here.
3
SPEAKER_01
What?
3
SPEAKER_01
Ah, man.
3
SPEAKER_00
Send me another- Oh, wait a minute.
3
SPEAKER_01
Wait, no, it is here.
3
SPEAKER_01
Wait, I found it!
3
SPEAKER_01
I found it on eBay!
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, here it is.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, okay, I found it on eBay.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah, Magic Bomb.
3
SPEAKER_01
Uh, it went for $300.
3
SPEAKER_01
Damn, that s cheap.
3
SPEAKER_01
This is pretty cheap compared- I mean... There s no- there s no fucking video of it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you know what it is?
3
SPEAKER_01
It s just the, um...
3
SPEAKER_01
It s just the chip.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s not even the, okay, here we go.
3
SPEAKER_01
All right, anyway.
3
SPEAKER_01
All right, it says here you have 70 drinks a week and your roommates think you re in alcohol.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, pretty much.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ve been cutting it back a little bit, you know?
3
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, pretty much.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I was doing this thing where I was living in the woods
3
SPEAKER_00
for a while.
3
SPEAKER_00
Why do I have any?
3
SPEAKER_01
We spent like the good how long we ve been talking.
3
SPEAKER_01
We ve been talking on the phone for six minutes.
3
SPEAKER_01
And we spent trying to find a YouTube video when we could have been talking about hanging out in the woods and getting unreasonably drunk.
3
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, let s let s and now I m talking about it more.
3
SPEAKER_01
All right, go ahead.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m going to stop interrupting.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I mean, so I was in the woods for a while without access for alcohol.
3
SPEAKER_00
um, for about three months.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then, uh, you know, I was like, I came back and I was like, well, you know, might as well hit it hard.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know, I haven t had booze in a while.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I did that.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then, uh, then my next semester of college started and I was like, I have a, I m going to have a job this summer.
3
SPEAKER_01
Why were you, why were you living in the woods?
3
SPEAKER_00
Um, my college has a really cool program actually, where, uh, you can,
3
SPEAKER_00
do a semester of college, 17 credits, in the woods.
3
SPEAKER_00
And live in a tent.
3
SPEAKER_01
How much did you pay to live in a tent in the woods to do college?
3
SPEAKER_00
Plus tuition, it was $4,000.
3
SPEAKER_00
You paid $4,000 to live in a tent in the woods?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but I got
4
SPEAKER_01
17 credits, and I got to eat three months.
4
SPEAKER_01
I got to eat bear meat, elk meat, a bunch of really cool stuff happened.
4
SPEAKER_00
You lived out of a tent for three months, and was it just you, were you alone, or were there other people living in the tents?
4
SPEAKER_01
No, there was 12 other students, or 11 other students.
4
SPEAKER_00
And how deep in the woods were you?
4
SPEAKER_01
We were in the largest designated wilderness area
4
SPEAKER_01
and the lower 48.
4
SPEAKER_01
So we were like 28 miles from like the nearest civilization.
4
SPEAKER_00
All right.
4
SPEAKER_00
So plus tuition, all inclusive, $4,000.
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, I mean, I paid tuition and then to get out there, the fee for like all the food and whatnot and for flying us, you know, out there was $4,000.
4
SPEAKER_01
OK, so how much was tuition?
4
SPEAKER_00
I pay like, oh gosh, I pay $7,000 in tuition.
4
SPEAKER_00
Is that a lot?
4
SPEAKER_00
Do you think that s a lot or a little bit of money to go to school in the woods?
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, I mean, I feel good about my time, you know, to go into the woods.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, that s probably a lot of money to go into the woods.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think the biggest thing though is that I got 17 credit hours of college while I was also enjoying the woods, you know?
4
SPEAKER_01
So I would have been paying tuition anyways.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s kind of like you studied abroad, but in the woods.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
I studied abroad, but in the woods pretty much.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s a good way to put it.
4
SPEAKER_00
When I m thinking of this tent, is it like a, like a night, are you glamping?
4
SPEAKER_00
Are you, are you holding out on me?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s definitely, no, it was definitely glamping.
4
SPEAKER_01
They were nice, like, uh, canvas tents.
4
SPEAKER_01
They were hot tents.
4
SPEAKER_01
So we had wood stoves in them.
4
SPEAKER_01
So when it got cold in like October and whatnot, you d stuff it full of wood.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay, I thought you were living in a shitty Dick s Sporting Goods tent.
4
SPEAKER_00
Nah, nah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Alright, so you lived in a tent for three months and that somehow led to you getting drunk all the time.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I guess.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I wasn t drinking for a while and then when I got back and started my spring semester, I was like, you know what, I m gonna go ham because I have a job this summer and I won t be able to drink, you know, because
4
SPEAKER_01
I ll be working a lot.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I was like, I m only taking 12 credits.
4
SPEAKER_01
Might as well take all this extra time, get it out of my system.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so, yeah, I ve been boozing.
4
SPEAKER_00
And why are you blowing into the microphone?
4
SPEAKER_00
Am I?
4
SPEAKER_00
Sorry about that.
4
SPEAKER_00
Are you outside?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I m outside.
4
SPEAKER_00
Go inside.
4
SPEAKER_00
I know you like being outside, but go inside.
4
SPEAKER_00
All right.
4
SPEAKER_01
Sorry, I was at a library and I didn t want to disturb people.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
They can probably just deal with it.
4
SPEAKER_00
They can probably just deal with it.
4
SPEAKER_00
All right, so how much are you drinking now?
4
SPEAKER_01
Like a bottle, like a fifth and like two racks a week probably.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
All right.
4
SPEAKER_00
And, um, how long have you been doing that for?
4
SPEAKER_01
About three months.
4
SPEAKER_00
And how s that affecting your life?
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I d say I m pretty functional.
4
SPEAKER_01
Uh, I ve got A s in all my classes.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m like, I m actually graduating early from college, like a semester early.
4
SPEAKER_01
So.
4
SPEAKER_00
You got a lot of credits in the woods.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s damn functional.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
If you want to graduate college.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know, I m doing good.
4
SPEAKER_00
Just fucking go into the fucking woods outside of your, all these people are spending all their time trying to graduate early in the classrooms.
4
SPEAKER_00
They could be doing it in the woods.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it was a really good experience.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Are you going to stop?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
When do you stop?
4
SPEAKER_01
I think, well, I mean, classes end May 10th.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I was going to say, you know, that was going to be the cutoff.
4
SPEAKER_00
All right.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s May as, as we re, as we re talking, it s April 30th.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
All right.
4
SPEAKER_00
So you have 10 more days to drink before you stop.
4
SPEAKER_00
Is that what we re talking about?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I mean, I don t think I ll stop completely, but it ll definitely just be like a normal, reasonable amount.
4
SPEAKER_00
What s a normal, reasonable amount to you?
4
SPEAKER_01
Like maybe only on the weekends and even then only like five beers.
4
SPEAKER_00
What are you gonna do when you graduate?
4
SPEAKER_01
I hope to go work in the nuclear industry.
4
SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
Definitely can t get drunk doing that.
4
SPEAKER_00
Although that was Homer Simpson s job and he was, you know, kind of, kind of bumbling.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
You seem to be doing all right.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, living the American dream.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Although that is a cartoon.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I wouldn t base any life decisions around it.
4
SPEAKER_00
What are you going to do in nuclear stuff?
4
SPEAKER_01
I d specialize in like fuel storage.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s what I want to get into is like fuel storage and environmental requirements.
4
SPEAKER_00
You gonna blow anything up?
4
SPEAKER_01
Nah, not really my forte.
4
SPEAKER_00
What if someone pisses you off?
4
SPEAKER_00
What if someone pisses you off?
4
SPEAKER_00
You gonna blow them up?
4
SPEAKER_01
Nah.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_01
No one s ever really pissed me off either.
4
SPEAKER_01
No one s ever pissed you off?
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, people have, but I don t think I ve gotten that angry.
4
SPEAKER_00
When s the last time someone pissed you off?
4
SPEAKER_01
My housing management ripped a hole in my tent because they didn t like where I put it.
4
SPEAKER_01
I set it out to dry and then they
4
SPEAKER_01
when they were tearing it down, because they didn t like where it was, they ripped a hole in it.
4
SPEAKER_01
And all the concrete was coming back.
4
SPEAKER_00
Blowin  up, find out where they live, and send a nuke to their house.
4
SPEAKER_00
You can do that now.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s what you paid $11,000 to learn how to do, and you must use your skills practically in the real world by blowing up people who piss you off.
4
SPEAKER_00
I feel like I m gonna get myself in trouble by telling you all this.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if I could get in trouble just by hearing it.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, you can.
4
SPEAKER_00
You can never.
4
SPEAKER_00
You can.
4
SPEAKER_00
I genuinely believe you can do whatever you want.
4
SPEAKER_00
You specifically.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s why I m telling you, you should blow people up and piss you off.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, yeah, I don t have kids or like any obligations.
4
SPEAKER_00
How old are you?
4
21.
4
SPEAKER_00
All right.
4
SPEAKER_00
Are you going to stop drinking?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I am.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Are you how confident are you you ll be able to stop?
4
SPEAKER_00
I feel pretty good.
4
SPEAKER_01
About a couple weeks ago, I took like a two week break.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I held that up.
4
SPEAKER_01
So like, I know I can go without it.
4
SPEAKER_01
So like, you know, I figure I d just do that again, but for longer.
4
SPEAKER_00
Is it fun?
4
SPEAKER_00
Are you having fun?
4
SPEAKER_00
drinking a lot?
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure.
4
100%.
4
SPEAKER_00
What do you do?
4
SPEAKER_00
What do you do when you get really drunk?
4
SPEAKER_01
Uh, you know, I get, I go home.
4
SPEAKER_01
I like talking to my roommates.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, I ll play video games.
4
SPEAKER_01
Uh, a lot of times I just kind of do homework as well.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like I ll just like start slamming while I m doing homework and then go to bed.
4
SPEAKER_00
I ve talked about, I may have talked about this before, but I was, um... A handful, only a handful of times, um, I ve gotten really sad, and I was, and I was, or like anxious, and I was like, let me just get, let me get drunk.
4
SPEAKER_00
See what happens.
4
SPEAKER_00
and I did and it was it s numbing that s what it numbs and I thought to myself I was like oh this I understand why people do this all the time it makes perfect sense as to why people do this all the time it like because life is I don t know about you but like I mean you maybe I mean we re both very young but um there s like a weight it s like you re carrying a
4
SPEAKER_00
like being alive sometimes it feels like you re carrying a big fucking rock and when you re drunk it s kind of like you re not carrying the rock for like you put it s like you re putting down the rock for a second you know yeah but then when you sober up and you pick the rock back up the rock
5
SPEAKER_00
is like twice as heavy now hmm well that s why you just gotta keep drinking that s what they say but they are dead that s a that s a good point yeah yeah drinking is crazy I get why people do it I get why people do it but you re too
5
SPEAKER_00
Didn t you have a good time?
5
SPEAKER_00
So when you were in the woods, you were sober, though.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, completely.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, nothing.
5
SPEAKER_01
I had nothing.
5
SPEAKER_00
And were you having a good time?
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, a blast, dude.
5
SPEAKER_01
I was just hiking everywhere and taking in gorgeous views.
5
SPEAKER_00
All right.
5
SPEAKER_00
So then you ve experienced life not getting drunk all the time, and it was good.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah, for sure.
5
SPEAKER_00
All right.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m not worried about you.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think you re going to do great.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think you re going to be OK.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think you ll be able to stop drinking.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
What do your roommates say?
5
SPEAKER_00
Are you with them right now?
5
SPEAKER_00
No, you re at the library.
5
SPEAKER_01
No.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I m at the library.
5
SPEAKER_01
I was doing homework and watching your podcast.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_00
What do your roommates say?
5
SPEAKER_01
You know, they start getting a little concerned because I ll like wake up, pour a glass of coffee and put a couple of things of whiskey in it and then like go to class.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
But like, you know,
5
SPEAKER_01
That s just for class, you know?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I really do get, I really understand why you would want to be drunk all the time.
5
SPEAKER_00
And it s not like it s affecting my life.
5
SPEAKER_00
No, it s 100% affecting your life.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I m doing well, I think.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but you get you I feel like part of doing well is Not like I don t think your roommates see you pouring whiskey into your coffee and say man Rocky s doing really well I
5
SPEAKER_00
Like that, like being drunk all the time in and of itself is not doing well.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s why there s no such, there s really no such thing as like a functioning drug addict, alcoholic, because that in and of itself is, is, is a sign of disparity.
5
SPEAKER_01
Hmm.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
I think you re right.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
But fuck- fuck I get it, man.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean... Uh... It s crazy.
5
SPEAKER_00
Going to class sucks so bad.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s so awful.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s so... Like, just the da- the daily fucking monotony.
5
SPEAKER_00
I have a cool job and I still can t handle the daily fucking monotony.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know, like this, I mean, talking to you would be so much easier if I was piss drunk right now, but I don t do it.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I m not saying that because I m not saying it to be mean to you.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m saying, no, no, I get it, man.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know what I m saying?
5
SPEAKER_00
Just life, just dealing, just doing stuff, just doing anything.
5
SPEAKER_00
But you can t do that.
5
SPEAKER_00
You can t do it.
5
SPEAKER_00
You can t do it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, because I m gonna try to why can t you do it?
5
SPEAKER_00
You can t do it because it s not good.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s like I said, being we I could get so drunk, I could get drunk every time I recorded this podcast and the podcast could be great.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I can t say to myself, you know,
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I m doing great because the podcasts are doing okay.
5
SPEAKER_00
I because I m drunk all the time.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s not good.
5
SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
5
SPEAKER_00
You part of I think being alive is like, you just gotta hold up.
5
SPEAKER_00
You just gotta hold up that rock.
5
SPEAKER_00
He s got to hold it.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s your it s your rock, man.
5
SPEAKER_00
You own a rock.
5
SPEAKER_00
You get to have a rock.
5
SPEAKER_00
Congratulations.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s your birthright to carry a big, heavy rock all over the place.
5
SPEAKER_00
And what, you re going to get drunk?
5
SPEAKER_00
You re going to misplace your rock?
5
SPEAKER_00
No, you don t want to do that.
5
SPEAKER_00
You re going to hold that rock with pride, you know?
5
SPEAKER_01
That s a good point, Geck.
5
SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
5
SPEAKER_01
I appreciate that.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
I ll stop.
5
SPEAKER_00
Wouldn t it be hilarious if I revealed to you that I was really drunk right now?
5
SPEAKER_00
I m not.
5
SPEAKER_00
But if I was, it would just negate everything.
5
SPEAKER_00
But that s the thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
If I was, it would negate everything I m saying, because that d be a hypocrite.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know, I don t think it would.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I think it would give what you re saying credit.
5
SPEAKER_01
You could be like, you could say you re trying to stop because, you know, it s dysfunctional.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
What else?
5
SPEAKER_00
The woods.
5
SPEAKER_00
We talked about the woods.
5
SPEAKER_00
We talked about Osama bin Laden.
5
SPEAKER_00
Anything else?
5
SPEAKER_00
Rocking?
5
SPEAKER_00
Anything else?
5
SPEAKER_01
There s a Japanese whiskey that is clear.
5
SPEAKER_00
Sanitory, right?
5
SPEAKER_00
No.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s like, it starts with an H, but it s completely clear.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I just, I had some and it s really good.
5
SPEAKER_01
You can tell it s whiskey, but it s like,
5
SPEAKER_01
It throws me off because it s clear.
5
SPEAKER_00
Are you are you drunk right now?
5
SPEAKER_00
Um lightly I thought about I thought that was like I thought I ve thought about being drunk all the time as a and I m not an alcohol guy.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m a big
5
SPEAKER_00
I m a- I m a lot of- I m a guy of a lot of different stuff.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s not, like, cool, you know?
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, getting high all the time and shit.
5
SPEAKER_00
But never- it s never been, uh...
5
SPEAKER_00
alcohol But I ve thought about it sometimes like all right the only way to chill is to be drunk all the time, but that s you re that s not That s that that s a path exponentially downwards, so I m gonna wish you some good luck In yeah, I ll take your advice to heart man.
5
SPEAKER_01
I ll be I ll be I ll be awesome Okay, all right
5
SPEAKER_00
We re gonna... I sound like I m drunk.
5
SPEAKER_00
We re gonna hang out, we re gonna go into the woods, we re gonna look at trees, we re gonna breathe, and we re gonna... travel through the monotony of life with great pride and honor that we are alive to do so.
5
SPEAKER_00
We re gonna try our best to do that.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
All right, thanks, Keck.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I hope you have a nice day, man.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, man.
5
SPEAKER_00
Tell the people at the library that you re hanging out with that I m sorry that we interrupted their books and shit.
5
SPEAKER_01
Nah, it s all right.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s all right.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s all good.
5
SPEAKER_01
Take care, Rocky.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s like the group study floor.
5
SPEAKER_00
Give the 9-11 slot machine a... Wait, wait, real quick, real quick.
5
SPEAKER_00
Are you in front of the 9-11 slot machine right now?
5
SPEAKER_00
No, you re not.
5
SPEAKER_00
You re at the library.
5
SPEAKER_00
I am not.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay, I was gonna say to give it a spin for me.
5
SPEAKER_01
I will when I get home.
5
SPEAKER_00
All right.
5
SPEAKER_00
Thanks, man.
5
SPEAKER_01
All right.
5
SPEAKER_01
Have a nice day again.
5
SPEAKER_00
You too.
5
SPEAKER_01
God bless.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was just in Vegas.
5
SPEAKER_00
I had a show there and I stayed at a casino hotel for three nights and I didn t gamble.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t like to gamble.
5
SPEAKER_00
I like Blackjack, but I ve never, I ve never ever played at a casino.
5
SPEAKER_00
I played... I gambled at a casino once.
5
SPEAKER_00
I did it once.
5
SPEAKER_00
I took $10.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I put it into the Willy Wonka themed slot machine.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I pressed a button.
5
SPEAKER_00
And my $10 was then gone.
5
SPEAKER_00
Um... And that s why I don t like casinos, because they re... It s like Dave & Buster s, but you can t play any of the games.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I will say, if I saw, like I said, if I saw an Osama Bin Laden slot machine, would I put it, would I give it $10?
5
SPEAKER_00
I gave Willy Wonka $10.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m not gonna give Osama Bin Laden $10.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know what?
5
SPEAKER_00
I m not.
5
SPEAKER_00
He doesn t deserve it for all that stuff.
5
SPEAKER_02
goes on the line taking your phone calls every night