0
SPEAKER_00
Hello?
0
SPEAKER_00
Hey there, what s your name?
0
SPEAKER_00
Uh, this is Griffin.
0
SPEAKER_00
Griffin, what s up, man?
0
SPEAKER_00
How s it going?
0
SPEAKER_01
Good, how are you?
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, I m hanging in there, brother.
0
SPEAKER_00
What, uh, what d you want to talk about today?
0
SPEAKER_01
I recently had an accident where I lost my right hand.
0
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
0
SPEAKER_00
What was the accident?
0
SPEAKER_01
So I was, uh, one of my buddies is living with me and I was cleaning out his closet and there was like this firework in his closet.
0
SPEAKER_01
Now we thought,
0
SPEAKER_01
It was a smoke bomb type thing.
0
SPEAKER_01
Like you know the ones that you light, the fuse goes down, like you fucking like throw it, and it smokes, right?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
And it blew up in my hand.
0
SPEAKER_01
A flashbang.
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if you ever played CSGO, but like, I was blind for like 30 seconds.
0
SPEAKER_00
Holy shit.
0
SPEAKER_00
So wait a minute.
0
SPEAKER_00
So, okay.
0
SPEAKER_00
So you were in your friend s closet and you discovered these fireworks and then you lit them on fire while holding them or they just randomly exploded in your hand.
0
SPEAKER_01
So we found them in his closet.
0
SPEAKER_01
This is my home.
0
SPEAKER_01
So I had taken them from my brother a long time ago, probably.
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SPEAKER_01
And I remember like, shit, I go, I remember this.
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SPEAKER_01
And then I m like, we re cleaning out his closet.
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SPEAKER_01
So there s more room.
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SPEAKER_01
So I m thinking, Hey, might as well light them.
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SPEAKER_01
So I walk on our porch, try to light the wind blowing.
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SPEAKER_01
So like shit, not lighting.
0
SPEAKER_01
I go inside, the wick just goes down and then boom, blew up basically.
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh my goodness.
0
SPEAKER_00
When did this happen?
0
SPEAKER_01
This happened almost two weeks ago today.
0
SPEAKER_00
God damn.
0
SPEAKER_00
And how much of your arm blew?
0
SPEAKER_00
Like the whole arm?
0
SPEAKER_01
No, luckily not.
0
SPEAKER_01
So my hand was like, it was still kind of there, but all the hairs were like half gone.
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SPEAKER_01
I guess my like,
0
SPEAKER_01
My dad and friend found half my palm in the sink or something.
0
SPEAKER_00
Your dad and your friend found your palm in the sink?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, like half of it, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Like part of my thumb.
0
SPEAKER_00
So when it happened, did you go, oh my God!
0
SPEAKER_00
Did you like freak out?
0
SPEAKER_00
No, no.
0
SPEAKER_01
So I was kind of silent and like, I was just kind of like, damn, I thought I was dead for a second.
0
SPEAKER_01
Cause it was straight, like white, like,
0
SPEAKER_01
brighter, brighter than the sun.
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SPEAKER_01
And so my friend was there with me, like, well, we were lighting it.
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SPEAKER_01
And then my hearing came back, like, five seconds later, I just hear him screaming.
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SPEAKER_01
So I thought he was like, deathly injured.
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SPEAKER_01
But he was perfectly fine.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, this in my hand, I had like, third degree burns, like up and down my stomach and leg and like my right under my eye.
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SPEAKER_01
But he was fine.
0
SPEAKER_01
But yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
0
SPEAKER_00
And, um, what kind of fireworks were they?
0
SPEAKER_00
They were like a flash bang type of thing.
0
SPEAKER_01
I guess it turned out to be a flash bang type thing.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
Or more like a bomb, I guess.
0
SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, so what are you going to, what is so, so wait a minute.
0
SPEAKER_00
So what does your right hand look like?
0
SPEAKER_01
It s just a nub.
0
SPEAKER_01
So they cut it like right at the wrist or like, I guess they say below the wrist, but.
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SPEAKER_01
And my thinking, it s above the wrist.
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SPEAKER_01
So that makes sense.
0
SPEAKER_01
What s closer to my fingertips, part of the wrist.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, how does, how do you feel about all this?
0
SPEAKER_00
Are you like, are you pissed off?
0
SPEAKER_01
I m very angry and like, like mad at myself.
0
SPEAKER_01
Like, I don t know, like, have you ever been like, just guilty at yourself?
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SPEAKER_01
Like I ve never been guilty of something done for myself until now.
0
SPEAKER_01
I get just very angry, but also like sad.
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SPEAKER_01
Like I use my, I m very like right hand dominant.
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SPEAKER_01
Like I twist it with my left hand.
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SPEAKER_01
But like, I can t do anything now.
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SPEAKER_01
I keep trying to do shit with my right hand, and it s like, oh shit, it s not there.
0
SPEAKER_01
You know what I mean?
0
Mm.
0
SPEAKER_00
So I have to ask you this, when s the last time you masturbated?
0
SPEAKER_01
I ve been trying to, it s just, like, it s not the same.
0
SPEAKER_01
So I haven t, like, I haven t, like, finished, like, if that makes sense.
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SPEAKER_00
I hope my mom doesn t listen to this.
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SPEAKER_00
You haven t come since the accident.
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SPEAKER_01
No, literally the day of I actually like hours before the accident I did so that s good.
0
SPEAKER_00
So I m not like Wow You came not knowing it was the very last time you would jerk yourself off with your right hand Exactly.
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SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s tragic.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m sorry to hear that.
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SPEAKER_01
I know I
0
SPEAKER_01
No, you re good.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, damn.
0
SPEAKER_00
So did they put, did they give you like anything cool?
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SPEAKER_00
Did they give you like a hook or something?
0
SPEAKER_01
That s so funny you say that.
0
SPEAKER_01
So like the week of, um, so I have like this really like top of the line surgeon who like, I guess like a couple of years back, he like sewed someone s arm back together.
0
SPEAKER_01
His name s Van Beek.
0
SPEAKER_01
If anyone needs a plastic surgeon, he does like tits and ass and shit.
0
SPEAKER_01
But anyways, um, him and this army doc,
0
SPEAKER_01
attached a coat hanger hook to my hand.
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SPEAKER_01
And we re joking, that s gonna be like a $10,000 hook, the way that our health care works.
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SPEAKER_00
Your doctor attached like a literal, your doctor attached a literal coat hanger to your arm.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, it s not like it s attached, like I have like wrap and then he wrapped it on top of that and wrapped some more wrap.
0
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, a fucking coat hanger.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
0
SPEAKER_00
So right now, you re holding the phone with your left hand or with a coat hanger?
0
SPEAKER_01
Definitely with the left hand.
0
SPEAKER_01
I can t.
0
SPEAKER_00
The coat hanger doesn t have that much mobility.
0
SPEAKER_00
Why is a coat hanger better than a nub?
0
SPEAKER_00
What can you even do with the coat hanger?
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, he just wants me to practice with my right hand so it doesn t get really weak.
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SPEAKER_01
push elevator buttons and like pull like tissues towards me or like when I m eating pudding like
0
SPEAKER_01
You get a lot of pudding and yogurt or shit in the hospital.
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SPEAKER_01
So I m trying to eat the yogurt with my left hand, but it s just sliding around the table.
0
SPEAKER_01
So like the hook kind of holds it there.
0
SPEAKER_00
I feel like if you re, you know how like you ll be in an elevator and like there s somebody who s closer to the buttons than you are.
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SPEAKER_00
So you ask them to hit your floor.
0
SPEAKER_00
I feel like if I were in an elevator and the guy closer to the buttons, he had a hook as a hand, I would feel kind of mean asking him to hit my floor.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s so funny.
0
SPEAKER_01
Cause it s like,
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay, I was in the hospital for like six days and like on the fifth day I walked around the hospital and me and my sister went down like through the elevator because we re on the third floor and I was right by the button and I was on a lot of drugs so I was asking like, hey, hey, like what floor are you guys going on?
0
SPEAKER_01
And I like, you know, pressed.
0
SPEAKER_01
They were on the same floor as us.
0
SPEAKER_01
But like, I understand that s funny though, like them asking me, push all these fucking buttons.
0
SPEAKER_01
That could be my future job, though.
0
SPEAKER_01
I could be an elevator attendant.
0
SPEAKER_00
You could be an elevator attendant.
0
SPEAKER_00
What do you do now?
0
SPEAKER_00
You re 19, it says.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yes, sir.
0
SPEAKER_01
So I am a retail sales supervisor at the Home Depot.
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
0
SPEAKER_00
I feel like people are going to see you and the saw sales are going to go down.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s funny, because I m the supervisor for hardware, like lumber, so I work over there with saws and shit.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, they d have no idea it was fireworks.
0
SPEAKER_01
What do you mean?
0
SPEAKER_00
Like, cause you work at home Depot.
0
SPEAKER_00
Nevermind.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, so what, uh, okay, let me, let me ask you this.
0
SPEAKER_00
Let me ask you this.
0
SPEAKER_00
What s your, do you, are you in school right now?
0
SPEAKER_00
Are you going to college for anything while you re working?
0
SPEAKER_01
No, no, I m, I m, I m, so I was going to take this one gap year.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m getting into that second gap year and just grounded at work, but now I m, you know,
0
SPEAKER_00
chilling at home for a couple weeks.
0
SPEAKER_00
What s your dream?
0
SPEAKER_00
What s your goal?
0
SPEAKER_00
What do you want to do?
0
SPEAKER_01
One of my dreams was to canoe down or kayak down the whole Mississippi, but I don t know if I could do that now with just one hand.
0
SPEAKER_01
I probably could get another hook type thing, but we ll see.
0
SPEAKER_00
Hold on, okay, you know, there s all sorts of, like, there s all sorts of, like, dudes out there who are, like, doing shit like that.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like, there s all these, like, I m sure there s a guy with a hook for a hand who s climbed Mount Everest before.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like, that s a whole, that s an entire genre of dude that you re talking about.
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t know about that.
0
SPEAKER_01
Mount Everest, maybe not.
0
SPEAKER_00
Hold on, I m gonna look this up right now.
0
SPEAKER_00
Okay, hold on.
0
SPEAKER_00
Guy with no arm climbs mountain.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, check this shit out, dude.
0
SPEAKER_00
This guy, Kyle Maynard, climbed Mount Kilimanjaro, and he didn t even have any, he has three less limbs than you do.
0
SPEAKER_00
He didn t have any.
0
SPEAKER_01
Is he a nugget basically or he has like one leg or one arm or something?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, he s got no arms and no legs and his ass climbs Mount Kilimanjaro.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh my god.
0
SPEAKER_00
So look at that.
0
SPEAKER_00
You can kayak down the Mississippi River.
0
SPEAKER_01
Did he climb it or did someone else climb it for him?
0
SPEAKER_01
Like was he like in the backpack like one of like a baby carrier type thing or no?
0
SPEAKER_00
That s that s just mean.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s just mean.
0
SPEAKER_00
Although I guess no well hold on I guess you can kind of make those jokes now since
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, exactly.
1
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
1
SPEAKER_00
A quadruple amputee is the first person to climb Mount Kilimanjaro without prosthetics.
1
SPEAKER_00
He also played football, wrestled, and competed in martial arts.
1
SPEAKER_00
So if he heard you say that you can t, you know, canoe down the Mississippi Ripper, he would think you were a total pussy.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay, wait, wait.
1
SPEAKER_01
He wrestled and shit before or after his quadruple amputation?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think this is all after.
1
SPEAKER_00
I feel like they would, I feel like they wouldn t put it in the bio if it was before.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
Have you ever, have you ever like the special Olympics, like TikTok or whatever, they ll post their swimming team and literally like, so they re quadruple amputees and they ll just like throw them into the pool.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I don t know how much of the swimming they re doing themselves.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay, look, I don t have to get into the Special Olympics, but all I m saying is that... All I m saying is that someone else did it.
1
SPEAKER_00
So you could probably figure it out how to do it.
1
SPEAKER_00
All I m saying is it has been proven to be physically possible.
1
SPEAKER_01
Now, we ll see.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was looking into if I could join the Special Olympics.
1
SPEAKER_01
Because I run track, or I used to.
1
SPEAKER_01
I would kick ass in the 200 meter dash.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like I would just, well it depends what people I m running against, you know, like if they re quadruple amputees, I m definitely with that.
1
SPEAKER_00
Dude, I don t know, I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think that this guy who climbed Mount Kilimanjaro, he s quite an athlete.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, but how do you think he runs?
1
SPEAKER_01
Does someone just roll him and he gets like some momentum going?
1
SPEAKER_00
He has like, he doesn t, he just doesn t, I mean he s got like, he s got like legs and arms, he just doesn t have the other, like the whole thing.
1
SPEAKER_00
And that s you too, you have like an arm, you just don t, it s just a nub.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay, that makes sense.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, you re probably not going bowling anytime soon, but you could- Dude!
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh my god.
1
SPEAKER_00
What, do you really like bowling?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I do, and it s funny because my friends were gonna go out, I was just on like a FaceTime with like three people.
1
SPEAKER_01
And we were wondering what to do.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was like, I couldn t think of anything.
1
SPEAKER_01
And someone said bowling.
1
SPEAKER_01
And everyone started laughing.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I m just like looking at my hand with no, like, no, because I had just taken off my wrap.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, with no fingers.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m like, okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
They said they couldn t put the bumpers on.
1
SPEAKER_01
I ll try it lefty, but we ll see.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, I have to say you have a pretty good sense of humor about this for, uh, you know, considering it just happened.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, I m trying, like, I feel like there s no point in like getting like, I mean, I m mad of course, but like,
1
SPEAKER_01
There s no point in getting depressed over it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like, I can make it, I can make do.
1
SPEAKER_01
And honestly, it s like a whole new lease on life.
1
SPEAKER_01
Cause like, you really don t know how like, how good you have it until it s gone.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know what I mean?
1
SPEAKER_00
Honestly.
1
SPEAKER_00
Your dog in the background is probably mad because you haven t pet him in two weeks.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh dude.
1
SPEAKER_01
So he ll try to take my food.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I ll point the hook at him and he s so afraid of it.
1
SPEAKER_01
He never lays down when I say lay down, but when I point the hook at him, he ll just fall to his legs and be like, oh, it s perfect.
1
SPEAKER_01
But anyways, no, but yeah, honestly, you don t know what you have until it s gone.
1
SPEAKER_01
But for instance, the jerking off thing, I feel like I was A1, tier one, with the right hand, you know what I mean, like A plus.
1
SPEAKER_01
Now the left hand, you can t do as well.
1
SPEAKER_01
So you don t know what you re having to have done.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, like you were gonna get a scholarship for jerking off.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you could say that, definitely.
1
SPEAKER_01
If I tried hard enough, I definitely would.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, alright, so I guess, I mean, let s keep going down the list, right?
1
SPEAKER_00
Like, what else do you want to do that you think you can t do anymore because you don t have an arm?
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay, fishing, like I can hold the pole with my left hand, but the right hand, how am I gonna reel it?
1
SPEAKER_01
You know what I mean?
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay, skiing, I can t, well, you know what, I could probably do skiing, like they could just attach the pole.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if you ever watched SpongeBob, but Squidward gets like,
1
SPEAKER_01
fucking paralyzed and Spongebob just shoves a ski pole through his like paralyzed hand.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah he shoves a um um yeah Squidward gets like his full a full body cast and uh Spongebob uh he he jams a jellyfishing rod through his hand.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh that s what it is yeah I don t know why I was thinking skiing but that could be you.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, for sure.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, hmm.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I mean, oh, here s the thing.
1
SPEAKER_00
I feel like all of this stuff, it s like figureoutable.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
1
SPEAKER_00
Like you, there s some, you could have various like attachments.
1
SPEAKER_00
You could, they could make you like a Swiss army hand or something and you could have a various attachments depending on what you were doing.
1
SPEAKER_01
That shit s expensive.
1
SPEAKER_01
So we went to the prosthetics people and they said,
1
SPEAKER_01
Like one prosthesis is 20 to 100,000 before insurance.
1
SPEAKER_01
And like insurance, yeah, exactly.
1
SPEAKER_01
And insurance like doesn t love covering it.
1
SPEAKER_01
So like, you have to like keep sending it in.
1
SPEAKER_01
And like, they want me to, if they don t accept it right away, they want me to like write like a sad letter, like kill chip them in the covering it or something.
1
SPEAKER_00
Wait, wait, they want you to write a letter?
1
SPEAKER_00
What does that mean?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
So they said like, okay, so let s say we send in a claim.
1
SPEAKER_01
They deny it.
1
SPEAKER_01
They want me to say like,
1
SPEAKER_01
My name is Griffin.
1
SPEAKER_01
I can t, I can t do this, this, this.
1
SPEAKER_01
Um, I m so sad basically.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then send it in and then they ll like, see if they can give us more money, like if the insurance will actually cover it or not.
1
SPEAKER_00
Dude, that s so fucked up.
1
SPEAKER_00
They re at, they re literally asking you to beg.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, exactly.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, insurance is just fucked.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like all types of insurance is kind of fucked.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
I recently, um, this has been coming up on my Tik Tok feed a lot recently.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s that, uh, clip from the Incredibles where he has to deny that woman s insurance claim.
1
SPEAKER_00
Cause like none of us knew what the fuck was going on when we were like seven and watched that movie.
1
SPEAKER_00
But now, nowadays, now you re like, oh man, that was fucked up how they made him do that.
1
SPEAKER_00
Do you know what I m talking about?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then his boss comes in and gets all mad at him.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like the fucking little guy with glasses.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, so I, I, I m okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m curious about this.
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, how did your friends react when you first told them that you, you don t have an arm?
1
SPEAKER_01
I said they were like, it was honestly like they were too sympathetic.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like I didn t really like, I feel like I didn t deserve the sympathy cause I did it to myself.
1
SPEAKER_01
So they re like, Oh, I, I m so sorry for you.
1
SPEAKER_01
I feel so bad for you.
1
SPEAKER_01
What can I do?
1
SPEAKER_01
And like, that s all I keep hearing.
1
SPEAKER_01
And like, everyone wants to help me do like open a fucking water bottle.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like I could open a water bottle one handed, but like, they want to do it for me or like I could put my fucking jacket on, but they just want to do it for me.
1
SPEAKER_01
And it s just, I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_01
That part s annoying, but I just, I don t understand it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m glad I have the support, but.
1
SPEAKER_01
For the most part.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like, well, a couple of friends were like a little more like... Not that I deserve it, but like, what, are you stupid?
1
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
1
SPEAKER_00
Do you, are, which, which friends are you close, like, your really, really close friends?
1
SPEAKER_00
Were they more like, you re stupid for doing that?
1
SPEAKER_01
No, honestly, no, it was the opposite.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like, I feel like the people I didn t really know were like, are you stupid?
1
SPEAKER_01
All my close friends were really supportive.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s good.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s good.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, how, how, now that it s been two weeks, are, are people still supportive?
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, for sure.
1
SPEAKER_01
For sure.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, less and less.
1
SPEAKER_01
And like the surgeon said, I mean, he said this, he s like the first week or two a month, it s going to be, you re going to see a ton of people.
1
SPEAKER_01
They re all going to be helping you.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then, when we have appointment scheduled weekly, he said like in a couple months, it s just gonna be you and your mom.
1
SPEAKER_01
We re leaving, right?
1
SPEAKER_01
Bye, love you, bye.
1
SPEAKER_01
We ll talk later.
1
SPEAKER_01
Bye, yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
What s, uh, your mom, your dog s going crazy.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, oh my, he s so fucking annoying.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I think he s racist, too.
1
SPEAKER_00
Why do you think your dog is racist?
1
SPEAKER_01
So, um, the first week I came home from the hospital, I had a bunch of friends over, okay?
1
SPEAKER_01
He ll bark at them for a little bit and stop.
1
SPEAKER_01
My one light-skinned buddy, who s a little dark-skinned compared to light-skinned, I guess, he just non-stop barked at him.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like, he walked around when he was on the couch, stared at him, and just kept barking and would not stop.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s fucked up.
1
SPEAKER_00
You should teach your dog to be more sensitive.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m trying!
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I don t know...
2
SPEAKER_01
They don t make dog sensory training videos.
2
SPEAKER_00
What breed is your dog?
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if I can say it.
2
SPEAKER_01
He s a blue tick hound.
2
SPEAKER_01
I ll say that part.
2
SPEAKER_00
Wait, hold on.
2
SPEAKER_00
What dog name can you not say?
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t want to get clipped.
2
SPEAKER_01
My friends say he s a blue tick coon hound is what he is.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
That, that, yeah, that third word.
2
SPEAKER_01
I didn t know if I m allowed to say that.
2
SPEAKER_00
Your dog is so racist that his name is a slur.
2
SPEAKER_01
Exactly, though.
2
SPEAKER_00
Hey folks, this is Lyle.
2
SPEAKER_00
I am very excited to announce that I am going back on tour in 2024 to do Therapy Gecko Live all across the country.
2
SPEAKER_00
If you ve never been to one of my live shows before, they are extremely fun, unpredictable, wild evenings that involve a mix of group gecko therapy sessions as well as some material and presentations from myself.
2
SPEAKER_00
And if you ve been to the show before, I have new presentations and will of course be interviewing new people.
2
SPEAKER_00
If you re a fan of the podcast, you re gonna have a great time at the live show, so I hope to see you guys there.
2
SPEAKER_00
Go to therapygeckotour.com or check the link in the episode description for a full list of cities where tickets are available.
2
SPEAKER_00
Also, if you don t see your city on the list of cities, please still click the link and RSVP with your phone number so I can contact you when tickets go on sale for your city, because I m going to announce a bunch more dates very soon.
2
SPEAKER_00
Geck bless.
2
SPEAKER_00
Um, all right.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, well it s okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
So your mom, how s your, what s, what s the deal with your mom?
2
SPEAKER_00
It sounds like your mom is very supportive.
2
SPEAKER_01
She is, but she s like, it s kind of overbearing.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I mean, she knows it, but, um, it s nice.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know how else to describe it.
2
SPEAKER_01
She s just a constant, everything.
2
SPEAKER_01
And like everywhere I go, she s with me and it s just, yeah, it s constant.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s not great, but I mean, I love her of course.
2
SPEAKER_00
Um, so was your mom overbearing?
2
SPEAKER_00
Would you have described your mom as overbearing before the thing happened with your hand?
2
SPEAKER_01
Definitely not.
2
SPEAKER_01
No, no.
2
SPEAKER_00
Wait, so she only became overbearing after the, in the past two weeks?
2
SPEAKER_01
I d say so, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Really?
2
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I mean, look, I, I, I don t, um, I mean, I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m not you, but I, I, this seems like warranted bearing.
2
SPEAKER_01
No, I agree.
2
SPEAKER_01
I agree.
2
SPEAKER_01
Definitely.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s just, it s a lot.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s just a lot of stuff and a lot to think about.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like today I had like an eye appointment that lasted like two, almost two and a half hours.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it s just a lot of shit.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like yesterday I had three appointments.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was, I was out of the house from 11 to six and it s like, it s a lot.
2
SPEAKER_01
So then when she s overbearing too, it s just, it s hard like mentally, you know?
2
SPEAKER_00
Um, I ll ask you this.
2
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I suppose I have more questions, but I ll just ask you this up front.
2
SPEAKER_00
Is there any, like, what other aspects of this do you want to talk about?
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, do you have any other questions?
2
SPEAKER_01
I m trying to think of something I could talk about.
2
SPEAKER_00
Let s see.
2
SPEAKER_00
All right.
2
SPEAKER_00
I have a crazy question and maybe it s fucked up.
2
SPEAKER_00
Maybe it s fucked up.
2
SPEAKER_00
It might be fucked up, but I m gonna ask it to you.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah, go ahead.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Have there been any pros of blowing your arm off?
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh my god.
2
SPEAKER_01
Um, getting gifted food, like we have our fridges full of food for like, my mom s like friends and shit.
2
SPEAKER_01
So like that s that s a positive I d say.
2
SPEAKER_01
Um, otherwise, oh, and like,
2
SPEAKER_01
I m finally getting out of work because I don t love my job, so it s nice to have a little stay-at-home vacation.
2
SPEAKER_01
So if you call that a positive.
2
SPEAKER_01
But negatives, oh shit, I can t play video games.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s another one.
2
SPEAKER_01
I can t play video games right now.
2
SPEAKER_01
I love first-person shooters, so I can t use a mouse.
2
SPEAKER_00
Can they not?
2
SPEAKER_00
So, like, is there a... By the way, I ll just say this about the food thing real quick.
2
SPEAKER_00
Tragedy does bring with it... It does bring good food with it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like, when I was in high school, a friend of mine passed away.
2
SPEAKER_00
But at his shiva...
2
SPEAKER_00
Um, they just had the best chicken tenders I ve ever eaten.
2
SPEAKER_01
Wait, shit, are you Jewish?
2
SPEAKER_00
I m Jewish, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Dude, oh my god.
2
SPEAKER_01
You Jewish?
2
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no.
2
SPEAKER_01
So, I haven t had Jewish food in a while, like really good.
2
SPEAKER_01
So, I never knew this was a thing, but bat mitzvahs, like bar mitzvahs for girls, I didn t know those were even a thing.
2
SPEAKER_00
and I went to one oh my god I wish it was Jewish because their food is so some of their food is so good it s really good I m actually I gotta say those chicken tenders were so good that I m actually wait I kind of hope another one of my friends dies so that
2
SPEAKER_01
That s crazy.
2
SPEAKER_01
No, but are with the chicken tenders Jewish at all or?
2
SPEAKER_00
They were just they were just regular chicken tenders.
2
SPEAKER_00
They were really good.
2
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, wait, what did you what Jewish food did you have at the bat mitzvah?
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so it was like this dessert, but it kind of was like crispy noodle ish type thing.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know what the fuck it s called.
2
SPEAKER_01
There s so many, like, and they have, like, long-ass names for no reason, like, Panakouken or some shit like that.
2
SPEAKER_00
Wait, I ve never heard of any Jewish food called Panakouken.
2
SPEAKER_01
Is that food?
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if I m just speaking out of my ass or something.
2
SPEAKER_00
You might, what s, what, what is it, what, what, describe the food to me.
2
SPEAKER_00
Is it, like, soup?
2
SPEAKER_01
No, no, it s, I thought it was a dessert, like, a dessert, like, with, like, crispy shit on top and, like... Panacottam?
2
SPEAKER_01
Panacottam, what is, wait, what is that?
2
SPEAKER_00
That doesn t sound Jewish.
2
SPEAKER_01
No, not panna cotta.
2
SPEAKER_01
No, not panna cotta.
2
SPEAKER_01
Something cooking or maybe not.
2
SPEAKER_01
Maybe.
2
SPEAKER_01
Shit.
2
SPEAKER_01
Let me, let me, uh, let me look up some Jewish food here.
2
SPEAKER_01
Give me one sec.
2
SPEAKER_00
Um, it s okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
We don t have to, um, Google this, but, uh, um, all right.
2
SPEAKER_00
Anyway.
2
SPEAKER_00
All right.
2
SPEAKER_00
So you got, what s the best, um, sympathy food that you ve gotten?
2
SPEAKER_01
Ooh.
2
SPEAKER_01
Uh, that s a good question.
2
SPEAKER_01
Um,
2
SPEAKER_01
Hmm.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I like, so I like lasagna.
2
SPEAKER_01
So this lady brought lasagna, but it was vegetarian lasagna, but it was pretty, pretty good.
2
SPEAKER_01
It had like spinach and shit in there, but the salad she made, it was a Caesar salad, but it was all like shredded and cut up.
2
SPEAKER_01
I hate like eating Caesar salad and having all that like big ass leaves.
2
SPEAKER_01
So that was really good.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_01
Um, there s this Mexican place called La Casita.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, I don t know if they re a chain or not, but that was pretty good too.
2
SPEAKER_00
Um, so you said that one of the bummers is that you can t play video games.
2
SPEAKER_00
Is there not, like, some kind of, uh, prosth- like, is there not some kind of prosthetic that will allow you to play video games?
2
SPEAKER_00
Or is that- or is it kind of too complicated because you need all the fingers and shit?
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, there s like- there s like one-handed keyboards and shit you can use.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s more like, like, stuff that other people can use.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, you don t need to have a missing hand.
2
SPEAKER_01
But, like, I want to get, like, an electric-
2
SPEAKER_01
Like an electric hand that you can move all the fingers individually, but those are like more expensive, or at least my place doesn t have them.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like that you can move all the fingers individually.
2
SPEAKER_01
So like, there s more like accessibility stuff where like I could get like foot pedals and use those as like aim and shoot.
2
SPEAKER_01
And just use my left hand on the keyboard, if that makes sense.
2
SPEAKER_01
But there s not really anything I can do.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like there s a couple, like one-handed mouses, but like, that s just too much.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s like a keyboard on the mouse or something like that.
2
SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s a bummer that that shit is so expensive.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m trying to think of, um... You could play, like, I feel like you could get really into driving games.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like, one hand on the, uh... Like, one hand on that little steering wheel, and then the other one on the, uh, on the pedal.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, cause I was just playing a lot of F1.
2
SPEAKER_01
But, like, I have a controller, I gotta get the pedals and shit, and that wheel.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because like, I play, you know, controller, you need a right finger to hit the accelerator, shit like that.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I can play like point and click games, like Town of Salem and shit like that.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like Among Us.
2
SPEAKER_00
What other questions do I have for you?
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, what s the deal with your dad?
2
SPEAKER_00
Are you and your dad cool?
2
SPEAKER_01
Not really, no.
2
SPEAKER_00
he s like he s around but he s not around if that makes sense okay did he at least like say what s up when your arm was blown off yeah he came to the hospital I think I don t know if he was there the
3
SPEAKER_01
first day but he came like the second like quick like he ll he d stop in for like five not even five minutes and then just leave so do you like get to talk to him at all yeah i did like so we got we got home from the hospital and i think it was was it the same day jake when the police showed up it was yeah same day three cop cars so now i ll tell you this so
3
SPEAKER_01
Let me, let me go back a little bit into the past.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I, um, when I, when, when the thing blew up, let me explain it.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I like ran outside and told my buddy, like, Hey, follow me.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I didn t realize I was missing my hand.
3
SPEAKER_01
So like, and I was kind of like half blind.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I like walked into my mom s car, walked in my brother s car and I got blood all over them.
3
SPEAKER_01
Walked to the neighbor across the street.
3
SPEAKER_01
His wife has like, um, I feel bad for laughing at this, but, um, like terminal cancer.
3
SPEAKER_01
So he couldn t like answer the door.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I got blood all over his door, or like his steps, and I ran across the street to the neighbors.
3
SPEAKER_01
They have four, and I look, I m like, I can see now pretty good.
3
SPEAKER_01
I saw they had four cars in the driveway.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m like, okay, someone s gotta be home, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
I m banging on the door with my good hand, dripping blood all over the place, and I see someone like look through the window at me, and no one answered the fucking door.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then I go to the next house over, and the guy s right outside, and he helped me out, tried to like put a tourniquet on it,
3
SPEAKER_01
And then the ambulance pulled up and I m in the back of the ambulance for like five, 10 minutes sitting there because they were trying to put a tourniquet like on the top, like on my shoulder part of my arm.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s in my hand, like next to my hand.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was like arguing with them.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then the fucking detective was asking questions or a police officer was.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I guess they thought that I was making illegal bombs in like the house.
3
SPEAKER_01
So anyways, now back to current time or like last week.
3
SPEAKER_01
So we get home from the hospital.
3
SPEAKER_01
Three police cars show up in front of our house.
3
SPEAKER_01
Six police women surround the house.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I open the door and I m wondering what s up.
3
SPEAKER_01
And my dad has a warrant out for his arrest for a DWI.
3
SPEAKER_01
And he wasn t home.
3
SPEAKER_00
This was after you blew your hand off?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes, this was after I blew my hand off, the week following.
3
SPEAKER_01
And he wasn t home.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, so like, okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
And if like, I guess they felt bad bothering, you know, the one handed man.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, so they, uh, went back to their cars and drove off pretty quick.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, and they hadn t came back yet, but he said he was going to turn himself in like a couple of days ago and he s, he hasn t came home today.
3
SPEAKER_01
So they might ve got him, but like, I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
He s a whole fucking thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like he s yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
So you, the feds thought that you were making explosives in your room because of the hand thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, because I guess that s a common thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, because even today I went to a retina, a retina specialist.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, cause they thought that I might have like torn like parts of my retina.
3
SPEAKER_01
And the doctor asked me like what happened?
3
SPEAKER_01
And I told him, and I didn t tell him it was a firework.
3
SPEAKER_01
I just said it was an explosion.
3
SPEAKER_01
So he s like, Oh, like I get multiple, I get tons of patients that are amateur bomb makers.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m like, what the fuck?
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was like a common thing.
3
SPEAKER_00
He said, I get tons of patients who are amateur bomb makers.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s kind of a red flag.
3
SPEAKER_01
I guess in Minnesota, I guess a bunch of people are making homemade bombs.
3
SPEAKER_01
Cause fireworks are illegal or certain fireworks are illegal here.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like we have to go to Wisconsin to buy our fireworks.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, but anyways, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
I have to ask, uh, how do you feel about that law now?
3
SPEAKER_00
Are you like, that s a pretty good law?
3
SPEAKER_01
I think it s a pretty good law.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s not like all fireworks, but mortars and shit.
3
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, believe me, I will never be lighting or go near fireworks.
3
SPEAKER_01
Fourth of July, I ll be in my basement with earmuffs on and shit.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, okay, so I was gonna ask you after that, what s your relationship with fireworks now?
3
SPEAKER_01
No, I m definitely not.
3
SPEAKER_01
We ll see.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if I have PTSD from it, but I remember a time when I was younger and we went over to our friend s party
3
SPEAKER_01
And they have like a little alleyway and they let off a sparkler bomb.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if you ve ever seen sparkler bombs, but they re really big and like loud and like a big flash.
3
SPEAKER_01
And someone who served in like Iraq, he has, he like jumped over a table of drinks and like hid behind it and shit.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I don t know if I ll be like that or not.
3
SPEAKER_01
We ll see.
3
SPEAKER_00
I gotta say, Griffin, you are handling this extraordinarily well.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, if I were you, I would not be able to be in such high spirits as you are.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I don t know if you re putting on a front, but you definitely seem like you re taking this well.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I m trying to be happy.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know what I mean?
3
SPEAKER_01
I m not trying to think about it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like when I was at the surgeon the other day and he took off the wrap and I didn t really want to look at it because it felt more real now.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like that s why I kind of didn t want to go home to the hospital because once I m home, it s real.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like shit, I have no hand.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know what I mean?
3
SPEAKER_01
So it s been tough, but like I said, I don t see a point in like moping about it.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, I ve never been like, I mean, I ve been sad.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like recently, one of my best friends just died too.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, I wasn t happy before that either.
3
SPEAKER_01
So,
3
SPEAKER_01
I m trying to, you know, find reasons to want to live and, you know, keep going.
3
SPEAKER_01
So, of course, I m going to be upbeat and, like, happy.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, I m going to try.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m not going to give up on this shit.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know what I mean?
3
SPEAKER_00
Mm-hmm.
3
SPEAKER_00
Mm-hmm.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, goddamn, Griffin.
3
SPEAKER_00
Thanks for joking around with me.
3
SPEAKER_00
Sorry if I said anything mean.
3
SPEAKER_00
No, you re good.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re good.
3
SPEAKER_01
My friends call me fucking lefty now, so you re fine.
3
SPEAKER_00
Your friends call you lefty?
3
SPEAKER_01
yeah hey this guy this guy voted for bernie huh he s only got his left hand exactly sorry um no you re good no we had a good conversation i m glad i could talk to someone like i haven t talked to a therapist a therapist therapist yet i know obviously you re not a therapist but it s just nice talking to someone getting the
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, like everything out.
3
SPEAKER_00
Griffin, is there anything else that you want to say to the people of the computer or, or, um, or any other aspect of this that you want to get into or any of that before we go?
3
SPEAKER_01
I think all I got to say is thanks for listening.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, also you should add like on Twitch and she had a vote thing where if a call is going really boring and you don t want to be rude.
3
SPEAKER_01
Just have a vote thing, like, hey, should we continue this call?
3
SPEAKER_01
And then have a vote yes or no.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because some of the calls are a little, I don t know, I feel like they re not that entertaining.
3
SPEAKER_00
See, well, okay, a couple things.
3
SPEAKER_00
First of all is the chat does not get to decide whether or not I take the call.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m the judge, jury, and executioner on whether or not I decide I want to take the phone call, so I don t want to give the chat the option to do that.
3
SPEAKER_00
And second of all, I don t know, how would you feel if you got voted out?
3
SPEAKER_01
I would be pretty mad, honestly.
3
SPEAKER_00
You d be pretty mad?
3
SPEAKER_01
I feel like my cause is a little more important.
3
SPEAKER_00
Um, well, hey, you know what?
3
SPEAKER_00
That s another, uh, pro of blowing your hand off is you get, you get to be better than everyone else.
3
SPEAKER_01
I guess.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Dude, I m telling you, if I join that special Olympics team, you ll see me.
3
SPEAKER_01
I ll send you a video of me just kicking ass.
3
SPEAKER_01
And if you want, we ll see.
3
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, thanks for calling me.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, yo, I ll send you, I ll send you a picture of me on,
3
SPEAKER_01
on Insta, just of me, no hand, like, punching the air, you know what I mean?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, alright, I ll take, yeah, send me, or text, text the stump to the, um... Wait, actually, you know what, I ll just do it, can you, can you send me a text?
3
SPEAKER_00
Right, this is how we ll end it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Can you send me a text right now?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
To the same number that, this number that you re on the phone with, of, of the stump?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna live react to the stump.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s, it s wrapped up right now, that s fine.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, uh, yeah, sure.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, do you have a picture of it unwrapped?
3
SPEAKER_01
Ooh, I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s open wounded, so I ll just send a picture to the rat.
3
SPEAKER_00
Alright, send me whatever you got.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ll live react to whatever you got real quick.
3
SPEAKER_01
Alright, give me a minute.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
Alright.
3
SPEAKER_00
Chat, do you have any questions for Griffin that I can ask him while I live react to this?
3
SPEAKER_00
Someone asked if you re still in pain.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yes.
3
SPEAKER_01
The pain is fucking horrible.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, nothing I ve ever felt before.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like every day?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, every day, every day.
3
SPEAKER_00
Do you feel, are you in pain right now?
3
SPEAKER_01
Uh, yeah, I, I definitely need some pain meds.
3
SPEAKER_00
Um, did you send me a photo?
3
SPEAKER_01
I sent you four.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I have one, I have one where I did have just a stump and I have one where I m
4
SPEAKER_01
The good thing about the stomp is I can, like with the hook, I can hold toilet paper on my hook.
4
SPEAKER_01
So it s like a mobile toilet paper holder.
4
SPEAKER_02
Wait a minute, did you send it to me just now?
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I got it, I got it, I got it.
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh my goodness.
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God, this is like something for, this is, that s crazy.
4
SPEAKER_02
I don t know why I thought this live reaction would be good audio content.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s just me saying damn.
4
SPEAKER_02
That s crazy I don t know why I thought that would be an of any amount of entertainment value There s this wait hold on why what s this picture of you holding a roll of toilet paper?
4
SPEAKER_01
That s the hook so the hook is it s a mobile toilet paper holder
4
SPEAKER_02
This fucking doctor you went to was like, Hey, so those hooks cost $20,000.
4
SPEAKER_02
You just want a toilet paper roll?
4
SPEAKER_01
No, that s not, no, that s not.
4
SPEAKER_01
I basically, but no, I mean, he s, well, so like when we were in that hospital, like he was saying he was, he s going to make something special for us, like temporary, like temporary device.
4
SPEAKER_01
So we thought he was gonna make something, 3D print something or something, but he just broke, he cut open, he cut a metal coat hanger and just attached it to my nub.
4
SPEAKER_02
How do you wipe your ass?
4
SPEAKER_01
That s a good question.
4
SPEAKER_01
I just do it left-handed now, but I do, okay, now I don t know how most people do it, but I do, I do, I m seated more towards the back of the toilet and I reach in front.
4
SPEAKER_01
I hold up, well, I used to hold up my balls with my left hand
4
SPEAKER_01
But I can t do that now, so I just wipe and I pull.
4
SPEAKER_01
I pull.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m a puller.
4
SPEAKER_01
I pull towards.
4
SPEAKER_02
Wait a minute, so... Well, now can t you just, can you kind of like hook your balls and like pull them up with the hook and then use your left hand to wipe your ass?
4
SPEAKER_01
I could, I could, but they said they want, like, what?
4
SPEAKER_02
I was gonna say, because the hook is like perfectly shaped to push your pulled balls up.
4
SPEAKER_01
No, you re right!
4
SPEAKER_01
What do they say?
4
SPEAKER_02
What do the doctors say?
4
SPEAKER_01
He wants it more elevated, so I can t really be taken down there with the hooks.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I mean, I probably could now, since the hooks are all reattached.
4
SPEAKER_01
So now the hook s attachable.
4
SPEAKER_01
I have this little thing that s velcro I can just slap the hook on.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s pretty cool.
4
SPEAKER_02
Alright, I have one more question and people are gonna think people are gonna think this is gross.
4
SPEAKER_02
I don t care I don t all right.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m a human being I m gonna answer this question All right, and and our and I m all right.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m just gonna say Do you ever wipe you ever scratch your ass and then smell your finger?
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay
4
SPEAKER_01
In the past, I have not done that.
4
SPEAKER_01
I can t remember the last time I ve done that.
4
SPEAKER_02
I was gonna ask if you ve ever scratched your ass with the hook and smelled it.
4
SPEAKER_01
With the hook?
4
SPEAKER_02
And if that smells different.
4
SPEAKER_01
Have you done that?
4
SPEAKER_02
Have I scratched my ass and sniffed it?
4
SPEAKER_02
Of course, everyone has.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay, okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
No, no.
4
SPEAKER_01
How do you wipe your ass?
4
SPEAKER_01
No, I want a full detail so I can, like, think about it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, do you... I ve heard more people sit forward toward the front of the toilet.
4
SPEAKER_01
and then reach behind and wipe your ass?
4
SPEAKER_01
Do you do that or are you more of a front guy?
4
SPEAKER_02
I don t know if you heard that, but there was a large... God intercepted our phone call with a fucking little explosion to warn us that we re talking naughty here.
4
SPEAKER_02
Shit, what was I going to say?
4
SPEAKER_02
How do I wipe my ass?
4
SPEAKER_02
I lift up my balls with my left hand and then I wipe it with my right hand.
4
SPEAKER_01
Exactly and my friends called me weird for doing that because because they sit at the front of the toilet like uncomfortable as hell and wipe from behind Like I don t got that much time.
4
SPEAKER_01
I want to be comfortable.
4
SPEAKER_01
I sit back and relax and I don t know And I feel like it s a bigger fellow of yourself that you would probably sit back to and just look up your balls Oh That s another pro of cutting off your hand you lost you you ve lost weight
4
SPEAKER_01
That s true.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s true.
4
SPEAKER_01
I did lose weight, but I actually gained some weight in the hospital, so I feel good.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m trying to gain weight, actually, because I m 190, like 6 3 , 190.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m trying to get up there, get muscular.
4
SPEAKER_02
You re 6 3 , 190?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yes, sir.
4
SPEAKER_02
Damn, do you weigh... I weigh more than you, and I m about an entire foot shorter.
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, I mean, that s, that s two things.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, is it, is that on you or is that on me?
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t, I m not here to call people fat or shame them.
4
SPEAKER_02
That s on me.
4
SPEAKER_02
I need to, uh, cut off one of my arms.
4
SPEAKER_01
In the gym, in the gym.
4
SPEAKER_02
I would reach my fitness, I would reach my fitness goals much, uh, much quicker doing that.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s true.
4
SPEAKER_01
And you could become one of those handy capable people that like, have you seen that where they like pour bleach in their eyes to be blind or they like soft their hand.
4
SPEAKER_01
So they re like disabled.
4
SPEAKER_02
Do you should do that you should walk around telling people you just did it on purpose because you were sick of your no No, that s that s worse.
4
SPEAKER_01
Cuz then you know, like I said, I said I didn t like this empathy, but I kind of like the sympathy like By the way, by the way, by the way, by the way, I want it just as as as a Can I say this to you just as a fake?
4
SPEAKER_02
Gecko therapist I want you to I want to tell you something.
4
SPEAKER_02
Um, I
4
SPEAKER_02
Don t feel bad about liking the sympathy.
4
SPEAKER_02
Don t feel bad about liking the sympathy.
4
SPEAKER_02
Look, something terrible happened to you.
4
SPEAKER_02
Fucking lap it up.
4
SPEAKER_02
Alright?
4
SPEAKER_02
What s wrong with a little- lap it up a little bit.
4
SPEAKER_02
Why not?
4
SPEAKER_02
Why not?
4
SPEAKER_02
Might as well.
4
SPEAKER_02
Might as well.
4
SPEAKER_01
Don t feel bad about it.
4
SPEAKER_02
Alright?
4
SPEAKER_02
Don t feel bad about it.
4
SPEAKER_02
You don t have a fucking hand.
4
SPEAKER_02
You should let people feel sorry for you.
4
SPEAKER_02
Lap it up.
4
SPEAKER_02
Why not?
4
SPEAKER_01
You re right.
4
SPEAKER_01
That makes sense.
4
SPEAKER_02
Don t feel bad about it.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t want, I m not making it like some of my friends, like one of our friends wasn t trying to play a game with us.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, Oh, you won t play with a little poor one handed man, lonely one handed man.
4
SPEAKER_01
And you could finally, like he got on a game with us, but I won t be doing that like outside of my house.
4
SPEAKER_02
But I m not, I m not, don t, don t, don t, don t let it get to your head, but no, for sure.
4
SPEAKER_02
Well, lap it up a little bit.
4
SPEAKER_02
Not, not, don t do anything crazy.
4
SPEAKER_02
Don t, uh, don t like make a long Facebook post or anything, but, uh,
4
SPEAKER_01
Dude, you know how I said I was 190?
4
SPEAKER_01
So I took a shit.
4
SPEAKER_01
I took a shit before this call.
4
SPEAKER_01
I just weighed myself.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m 187.
4
SPEAKER_02
I think that s our cue to leave.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
Thanks for the call.
4
SPEAKER_02
Hey, thanks for calling Griffin.
4
SPEAKER_02
Good luck to you.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Good luck to you.
4
SPEAKER_01
Thanks.
4
SPEAKER_02
Take care, man.
4
SPEAKER_01
Bye.
4
SPEAKER_02
It is a pretty wild looking stump.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I ve also done my fa- I- It s fun.
4
SPEAKER_02
I get excited in the morn- in the morning.
4
SPEAKER_02
I get excited when I take a bi- uh- uh- Because I m like tr- I m trying to lose weight.
4
SPEAKER_02
So in the morning, I get excited when I take a big shit.
4
SPEAKER_02
Because I m like, oh my god, I probably- My body s so empty right now.
4
SPEAKER_02
I probably lost a lot of weight.
4
SPEAKER_02
On lo- doing that.
4
SPEAKER_02
Alright, well thanks for listening to this dumbass podcast, dude.
4
SPEAKER_02
Alright, thanks for calling, Griffin.
4
SPEAKER_02
Gak bless you.
4
SPEAKER_00
Hello.
4
SPEAKER_02
Hi there, what s your name?
4
SPEAKER_00
I m Kentucky.
4
SPEAKER_02
Kentucky?
4
SPEAKER_02
How old are you, Kentucky?
4
SPEAKER_02
I am 26.
4
SPEAKER_00
Nice.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I live in Chattanooga, Tennessee.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m a trans man.
4
SPEAKER_00
I guess it s important to mention at the beginning.
4
SPEAKER_02
Kentucky, a trans man living in Chattanooga, Tennessee.
4
SPEAKER_02
Well, what s going on, dog?
4
SPEAKER_02
How can I get you to that?
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, I wanted to talk to you about... I ve dreamed about being a tattoo artist for a really long time.
4
SPEAKER_00
Been working on my art and stuff my whole life.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s been like the only thing that I really care about that deeply.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s like affected like my relationships with other people and stuff because I m just so like one track mind about it, I guess but I Recently like last summer.
4
SPEAKER_00
I started a tattoo apprenticeship at a shop That ended up being a really bad environment And I kind of knew going into it because I didn t really like my mentor and I knew he didn t really like me but um, I just wanted to do it so bad.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was like kind of willing to put up with it and
4
SPEAKER_00
Um, I should have known, like he like literally goes by like Captain Devious.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s pretty, that s awesome.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, no, like he like legally changed his name to that.
4
SPEAKER_02
Wait, wait, he s like on his driver s license.
4
SPEAKER_02
It says Captain Devious.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
That s sweet.
4
SPEAKER_02
That s awesome.
4
SPEAKER_02
What s this guy like?
4
SPEAKER_02
Tell me more about, I want to hear more about Captain Devious.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Crap and cheesy shit.
4
SPEAKER_00
He like, I don t know, he like, oh my God, he is like a textbook narcissist.
4
SPEAKER_00
Everything he says is fact correct.
4
SPEAKER_00
You disagree with him or inconvenience him at all.
5
SPEAKER_01
gonna be like there s a price to pay.
5
SPEAKER_01
He s a very angry man.
5
SPEAKER_01
He s the captain.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he loves Facebook drama.
5
SPEAKER_01
He loves like, oh man, all the local cops hate him because he calls them for no good reason just whenever he s pissed off at someone.
5
SPEAKER_01
Dude, like it was just terrible and I found out like
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_01
There were some other apprentices at the shop.
5
SPEAKER_01
We actually all walked out together at the end of January.
5
SPEAKER_00
A mutiny on the captain.
5
SPEAKER_01
Absolutely.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like we left him with literally no one in his shop except for him.
5
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And, uh, I found out afterwards that like he was saying a lot of like really transphobic stuff behind my back and calling me like mentally ill and stuff, but he was using me to look better to the community.
5
SPEAKER_01
So he could get queer people s money still.
5
SPEAKER_01
And like, it was like a whole thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
So, all right.
5
SPEAKER_00
Um, Kentucky, tell me what s so, I mean, look, you texted me and you were like, I had to give up on a dream of mine that I was passionate about.
5
SPEAKER_00
So are you, have you given up on your tattooing dream?
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t know, honestly, because I have been very much enlightened to how
5
SPEAKER_01
crazy the industry can be.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I m a person that really values like my own piece.
5
SPEAKER_00
It sounds like you ve been enlightened to how crazy Captain Devious can be.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s true.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s kind of left me with just like a whole like, I don t know, I m just kind of like feeling burnt out on the whole thing.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s not necessarily that I want to give up, but I just don t know if it s like, right for me.
5
SPEAKER_00
Why don t you, so this was the first, how old are you?
5
SPEAKER_01
Uh, 26.
5
SPEAKER_00
And this is the first time you ve gone into a studio to do this?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, this is the first studio that would take me on.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_00
Why, so why not join another studio?
5
SPEAKER_01
It s hard to find a studio that is like willing, like an artist that s willing to take on an apprentice.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like finding an apprenticeship is often like one of the hardest parts.
5
SPEAKER_01
about like the tattooing industry as a whole kind of like notoriously difficult um which is why I was willing to put up with that because I have friends that are in the industry and they ve all told me like it s going to be like a lot of like scrubbing floors scrubbing toilets cleaning constantly being there unpaid I was there nearly 50 hours a week unpaid had to work other jobs on top of it and I m just like
5
SPEAKER_01
Over, like, it s partially, like, I m burnt out on that side of things, but also just, like, financially and physically, I just can t be doing that anymore.
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you have another job?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I work a couple other jobs.
5
SPEAKER_01
I do the door at a cocktail bar, check IDs and kick people out if they re being too rowdy kind of a thing.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I also work at a coffee shop during the week.
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you give tattoos to your, like, homies?
5
SPEAKER_01
Um, no, not, not now.
5
SPEAKER_01
Um, I did back in the day, like, you know, like little punk rock stick and poke party type beat.
5
SPEAKER_01
Um, but, uh, it s been a while since I ve done like a under the table tattoo.
5
SPEAKER_01
Cause I want to be legit.
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you, do you, uh, I m going to get a, I m going to go real Gary Vaynerchuk mode on you right now.
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you, uh, do you Instagram, do you tick tock?
5
SPEAKER_01
I am on Instagram.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t like to talk too much because I don t like short form video content too much.
5
SPEAKER_01
Um, just because I like, I don t like to sit and watch things.
5
SPEAKER_01
I like putting things on in the background while I m like drawing or doing other stuff.
5
SPEAKER_00
Um, well, I mean, I, I, man, I mean, so
5
SPEAKER_00
To me, the solution to this is to find a way to pave your own path forward.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I only know from my own experience that the way to do that is through using the internet to build your own clientele base to tattoo, you know?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that is something I m very aware of that.
5
SPEAKER_01
I get like kind of nervous about like being known online, I guess.
5
SPEAKER_01
Because it is a kind of overwhelming thing.
5
SPEAKER_01
I ve seen it happen to actually my brother.
5
SPEAKER_01
He was like a really good CS go player had like a YouTube video and he got like millions of views on his like trick shot videos and stuff.
5
SPEAKER_01
And people like started to find out about like who he was in real life.
5
SPEAKER_01
And he like got scared and quit.
5
SPEAKER_01
But I don t know like watching that and watching how much anxiety it put him through it s kind of like Made me nervous about the whole thing Yeah, yeah No, it s a whole thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s it s it s totally a whole thing But I ll but I ll listen I ll say I ll say this okay, how much do you want to be a tattoo artist I
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I was looking for an opportunity for five years before this last one.
5
SPEAKER_01
I really, I just want to make art is I think the thing and I was looking for a way to make it like financially viable.
5
SPEAKER_00
and do something that I do I do really love tattooing and I love like I m just gonna I m gonna say this I m gonna say this to you Kentucky if you just want to make art and you want to have like you and you want to have like your thing that you do for money and and on and separately you have your thing that you do for creative fulfillment
5
SPEAKER_00
That is a totally legitimate, if not potentially even in some cases, I ve thought to myself, better way to live life than to make money off of your thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
But, and also, also you can also have a great life making money off of your art.
5
SPEAKER_00
But if you want to make money off of your art, you are going to have to get over
5
SPEAKER_00
putting yourself out there.
5
SPEAKER_00
You re going to have to get over that fear of putting yourself out there if that s what you want to do.
5
SPEAKER_01
No, absolutely.
5
SPEAKER_01
I needed to hear that from something other than inside my brain because there s always that kind of like fight between like what you know you need to do and like
5
SPEAKER_01
what your like fear wants you to do, which is usually just curl up in a ball and die.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, cause that s, I mean, that s the cool thing about the internet is that you can, you don t have like, if you just kind of build your own universe of arts and whatnot, then you know, you, you can, you can build your own world and you can become your own captain devious and you can change your legal name to whatever the fuck you want.
5
SPEAKER_01
Hell yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I ll say that, you know, so, um, I mean, that s, I, I, I gotta say, that s really all I have to say on the matter is, is that you, you, you gotta get over your fear of putting yourself out there.
5
SPEAKER_00
Not even just for like, oh, I got to make money, but just in, it s just in general, a good thing in life to, to be, you know, okay with.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, no, you re absolutely right.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I think it s like,
5
SPEAKER_01
I have no problem like talking to people, like, especially like in person, like I, I m not a, I m not a shy person by any means, but I think there s just like that, like, I feel weird about like a curated or like kind of like distilled, like projection or like not coming across as authentic and then like being judged for that.
5
SPEAKER_00
You re afraid of not coming off as authentic.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Why would you be, why are you afraid of not coming off as authentic?
5
SPEAKER_01
Uh, I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_01
I guess because I am not like comfortable, like, uh, in front of a camera or like, and I feel like I, I definitely overthink things before I post them.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t just like,
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t let myself just throw it away.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know what I mean?
5
SPEAKER_01
And I feel like I wish I could just do that more comfortably because I would feel a lot happier about what I posted if I didn t think about it too much, I guess.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, that s a whole other can of worms is, uh, you know, how much, I mean, I think about stuff that I post, but I also don t want to, I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_00
I could give a whole stupid masterclass in social media marketing, but that would be boring.
5
SPEAKER_00
The emotional aspect of it.
5
SPEAKER_00
The emotional aspect of it.
5
SPEAKER_00
And just all I ll say to you is that I think if you do anything, if you get anything out of this phone call,
6
SPEAKER_00
I hope it is that you get over your fear of putting yourself out there because that s the key to Never having to deal with the captain devious is of the universe ever again That s how you beat the man Kentucky Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go I
6
SPEAKER_01
Um, if you love something, just like keep doing it.
6
SPEAKER_01
Even if you feel like you need to change your trajectory, like, uh, just don t give up on the things you re passionate about because I don t know, like it s okay if it changes form, but like, don t lose what like makes you happy.
6
SPEAKER_00
And less if you re passionate about killing people and eating them.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
Or like stealing dogs from people s yards.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s very specific.
6
SPEAKER_00
Did someone do that to you?
6
SPEAKER_01
I mean, no, not to me, but it has happened in my neighborhood recently.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s just on the brain.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s an interesting side hustle, actually.
6
SPEAKER_00
Although I was talking to someone about this earlier.
6
SPEAKER_00
Dogs are a depreciating asset.
6
SPEAKER_01
Absolutely.
6
SPEAKER_01
No, they re expensive from the jump.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, they re expensive from the jump and they only, they only, um, this is why I wouldn t buy a dog is it s, it s too, it, um, it s not a good investment.
6
SPEAKER_00
It only, it depreciates the minute you take it off the lot.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like every year a dog gets older, it s worth less and less.
6
SPEAKER_00
So, you know, that s why I would never buy a dog.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, absolutely, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
And that s why stealing, if anyone s out there listening, who s thinking about stealing a dog from someone s yard to sell it, maybe that ll discourage them, because there s, you could, like, stealing someone s TV, that makes sense, but like a dog, it s only gonna be worth less.
6
SPEAKER_00
Every day it s worth less, so don t steal people s dogs to sell them.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
No, and they will like piss on your shit and ruin everything that you love.
6
SPEAKER_00
Thanks for calling Kentucky.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, no problem.
6
SPEAKER_01
Thanks for talking to me.
6
SPEAKER_00
Do not invest in dogs.