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Welcome, welcome, welcome to armchair expert.
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I m Dan Shepard.
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I m joined by Minnie Mouse.
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Hi there.
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Um, this is a gentleman I ve been wanting to have on for quite some time.
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I find him so funny.
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Very funny.
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Sebastian Maniscalco.
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Sebastian Maniscalco is a record breaking standup comedian and actor.
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He s got a hit show.
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He s got a world record setting comedy tour.
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He s a beast.
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He s at the top of the pyramid for standups.
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So fun.
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So fun.
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And boy, did I get to experience his hysterical, just the moment in this episode when he goes, what s with the spray?
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I was like, oh, I got menoscalco d.
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Yeah, you did.
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His credits include Bookie, if unfrosted out right now, the Super Mario Brothers movie, Somewhere in Queens.
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He has a new tour starting in July.
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You have to go see him live.
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The tour is called It Ain t Right, and you can get tickets for that at SebastianLive.com.
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Now, also before we go, we have Armchair Anonymous prompts.
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We got a big batch.
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This is covering two months time.
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So buckle up, get a pen and paper.
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One of these prompts may apply to you.
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They are as follows.
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Tell us your best dad story.
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Now we ve been collecting dad stories as we get other stories.
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In fact, we met two gals that had the same dad.
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That was so fun.
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Both stories crazy.
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So in time for Father s Day, tell us your best dad story.
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Tell us your best parent teacher conference story.
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Is that from teachers or parents or either?
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I think it could go either way.
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Yeah, if something insane happened at a parent-teacher conference and you re a parent, that would be fine too.
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Great.
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Yeah, like if you re the teacher you were talking to is like smoking a doobie during it or something, who knows what could happen.
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Fingers crossed.
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Tell us about an embarrassing sex experience.
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Sorry guys, still a pervert.
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Tell us about a near death experience.
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Tell us about a time you pooped yourself.
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Tell us a crazy beach story summers upon us.
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Summertime.
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We want to get in the mood with some crazy beach stories.
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So if you have a crazy story for any one of those prompts, please go to armchairexpertpod.com and submit your story.
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We would love to talk to you about it.
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Please enjoy Sebastian.
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How are you, brother?
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Good to meet you.
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Nice to see you, man.
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How are you?
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What a sexy machine you brought over here.
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Oh, yeah, that s my sexy machine.
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What do you think of that?
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I ve had it for a while.
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It s been, what, 17?
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But I got two small kids.
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Seven years.
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Yeah.
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I feel like that s kind of responsible for a man of your means.
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You and I both know you could have any number of vehicles.
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I m a modest man.
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Are you?
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Yeah.
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I don t like to buy a lot.
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I like to do experiences.
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That s good.
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And was that learned or that s your natural disposition?
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I grew up.
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Next to Robby Robb.
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Hometown, northwest suburbs of Arlington Heights.
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Everyone will think you re from Queens.
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That s got to be a common.
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Common way.
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But that s the Italian-ness in you, right?
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That s the immigrant dad.
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Yeah, he s staying with me right now for 10 days.
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Where do you live?
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I live in Los Angeles.
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Oh, okay.
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I can t believe I ve never bumped into you in my life.
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I know, man.
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Well, I... Go ahead.
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Are you on the West Side?
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You know where there could have been an incredible bump in, now that I ve learned about you?
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I could have been at a junket at the Four Seasons.
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You could have.
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In your, what would we call that, your duration there?
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My time frame.
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Yes.
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90... Because you were there in 2005.
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Yeah.
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You lived at the Four Seasons?
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He was a waiter at the Four Seasons.
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Oh, great.
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Great!
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I knew you would like that detail.
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I do love that.
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Seven years I was there.
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Seven years!
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Okay, so but besides that, like that s a possibility, because first movie I was ever in came out 2004, so I did do some junkets there.
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Was it, uh... Without a paddle.
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Without a paddle.
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When was the Dane Cook movie?
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That was 06.
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06, okay, so around that time.
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Yeah.
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Okay, back to you by experiences.
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Did you have to learn that?
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Did you go buy a bunch of flashy shit and then go, eh?
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No, no, no.
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That was just upbringing.
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Because in my world, I always think it s going away.
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Well, duh.
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My therapy this morning was singularly about, when will the amount of money happen where I m not terrified?
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Because I ve passed the number I told myself I would not be terrified anymore many times.
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And then nothing s helping.
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Do you have that?
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Yeah.
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So are you ever content?
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Are you ever satisfied with where you are at professionally?
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Or is it just a game?
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We just, oh, you know, got to get the next podcast out before people don t think we re around anymore.
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Before they realize.
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Yeah.
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Even deeper.
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They catch us.
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Before they realize we ain t shit.
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And that I don t deserve their attention.
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Yeah, it s hard.
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And you know, I bet you and I have some of the same scar tissue as well, because you were out here for a fucking minute, as was I. I moved here in 95, and that first movie we re talking about is 2004.
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So when you re 20, and that s a third of your life, you re not getting shit done.
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It s scarring.
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No, it is.
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Is it going to happen?
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When is it going to happen?
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So you go through all those different ups and downs as you re building it.
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But once you get to a certain level and you re like, okay, I m here.
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Now what?
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I mean, what are we doing here?
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What s the game?
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I got two small kids.
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I got a six year old.
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I got a four year old.
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If I keep doing this the way I m doing, am I going to look back when they re 19 years old going, what was I doing in Montana?
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Yeah.
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So it s a struggle I deal with.
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I think it s harder for you.
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It has to be harder for you because implicit in your job is you re traveling.
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Yeah.
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This is a hack.
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It s in my backyard.
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I don t even have to go on a movie set anymore.
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And I have two little kids.
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I imagine it weighs on you.
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It does.
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So doing this, we re going to get into the Jordans, too, because I have a whole thing on Jordans.
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OK, great.
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I can t wait to hear it.
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As long as we re there.
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Yes, let s pop in my head.
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Yeah, I addressed this about two months ago How old is too old to be wearing Jordans?
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We have by the way, we had this debate about 12 episodes ago.
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Oh you did Yeah, when do I look like a fucking dumbass?
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already
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Maybe you ll answer this for me, but is that what your inquiry was as well?
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I m 50.
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Yeah, I m 49.
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Okay.
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So, what are those, the fours?
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Two, threes, threes, threes.
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Okay.
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And I grew up in Chicago, so I had a pair of Jordans when I was in sixth grade.
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50 bucks.
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Used?
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Off a truck.
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Oh, this was... They were 100.
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We re the same age.
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They were 100?
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You go to Foot Locker, they were 100.
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In fact... Were they 100?
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Yes, and my very first pair were fives, and they were 110, and my mother said, I ll only get those for you if you can talk the guy down to $99 at Foot Locker, which they don t even fucking do, but I had to do that, and I did.
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I don t know, 50s hanging in my head for some reason.
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That s so low, Sebastian.
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For 19 what?
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Well, I guess you re comparing 86 or I don t know.
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Tell me what year is sixth grade for you.
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Jordans came out in 1986.
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Well, I ll go with that.
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Sure, sure.
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My first pair was 93, so I guess they could have doubled, but boy, that would be something.
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Okay, 50 bucks.
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I m sticking with it.
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50 bucks.
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We ll do some fact-checking later.
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Okay, 50 bucks.
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I have two pairs of Jordans.
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One I got as a gift.
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Currently, not back in 86.
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Currently, right now.
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And I m looking at myself in these things and I m going, 50?
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You re like a grown individual.
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You have kids.
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Should you be walking around in children s shoes?
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In sixth grade shoes?
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Yeah, children s gym shoes.
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I m assuming neither of us play much basketball.
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I don t play basketball at all.
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SPEAKER_02
No.
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So I came across these.
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These are Jordan s.
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Okay.
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These are cool.
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These are Jordan s 23.
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All right.
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Meaning the year 23 or his number?
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This is the 23rd Jordan they put out.
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That feels important because his number was 23.
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You would think.
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But the guy, I got these from Joe over at Complex Sneakers or Complex, not sneakers, whatever it is.
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Some cool place.
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Cafeteria.
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SPEAKER_01
Complex cafeteria.
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SPEAKER_01
He s the shoe guy.
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That s all the interviews.
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Yeah, I ve seen it.
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SPEAKER_01
I saw Ben and Matt were on it.
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It was cool.
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So I go, where does these land in the world of sneaker heads?
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He s like, not too many people have those because they re kind of ugly.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh!
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Okay, wow.
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I said, let me have them.
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This is perfect for me.
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Because I don t want to walk around with what everybody s got.
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So that s my story on my particular pair of Jordans.
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Yeah, terminal uniqueness.
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Ugly.
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Yeah, better to be in something ugly, but be the only one in it.
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That s it.
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Not a bad approach.
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That s my take.
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That s kind of my approach to cars.
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Not specifically ugly, but I got to be in something different.
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I can t be in a 911 at a street light looking next to me and there s an agent in front of me with one and the director behind me s got one.
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I don t like it.
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Okay, now, I don t know if I could talk about what I saw when I pulled up in your driveway.
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Please do.
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There is a, I don t know what you call it, but it looks like it s an off-road vehicle.
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Oh, yeah, yeah, there s a four-seater RZR right there.
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Now, are you the type that s...
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got to get all the shiny shit.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Yes.
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SPEAKER_00
Okay.
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SPEAKER_00
So where you and I differ is that I didn t get those fucking Jordans in sixth grade.
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I got them in 11th grade when I had to haggle down the price.
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So I coveted them.
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There were, you know, four years where I wanted them so bad.
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So I m in Detroit doing an interview 12 years ago and I m talking to a guy and God damn it, he s wearing brand new fours.
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SPEAKER_00
And I m like, holy shit.
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SPEAKER_00
Did you keep those that nice?
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SPEAKER_00
And he goes, no, man, they sell them.
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SPEAKER_00
I go, they sell the 93.
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SPEAKER_00
He goes, yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
And I m like, how much are those?
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SPEAKER_00
He s like, they re 130 bucks.
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SPEAKER_00
And I m like, oh my God, I ve got 130 bucks.
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SPEAKER_00
I m like, you bought them on the internet?
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SPEAKER_00
I bought them in the interview.
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SPEAKER_00
And the rush of poor kid done good was so euphoric that I was off to the races.
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SPEAKER_00
And then every month I had to buy a pair.
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SPEAKER_00
because there s so many good ones.
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SPEAKER_00
Now, two things.
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SPEAKER_00
I don t want you to file me into a category of spendthrift.
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SPEAKER_00
Spendthrift, yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Spendthrift, because I m not.
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SPEAKER_00
I m actually really frugal.
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SPEAKER_00
I got to make a lot of money to let some go.
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SPEAKER_00
But cars are also his thing.
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SPEAKER_00
I m from Detroit.
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SPEAKER_00
It s all I give a fuck.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s the only reason I try to make money is for cars.
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SPEAKER_00
I don t give a fuck about this house other than I can park my bus out front.
1
SPEAKER_00
You got a bus?
1
SPEAKER_00
Did you see when you pulled in?
1
SPEAKER_00
No.
1
SPEAKER_00
You got hung up on the off-road vehicle.
1
SPEAKER_00
There s a tour bus in the front yard.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, I didn t see the tour bus.
1
SPEAKER_00
We ll go through it on your way out.
1
SPEAKER_01
Where does that come from?
1
SPEAKER_00
I go to the sand dunes, you saw the vehicle, always rented motorhomes, gotta rent one, gotta get a buddy to drive the trailer out, I gotta pack the shit all the time, we go four times a year, I need a fucking bus.
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SPEAKER_00
The one thing I m worried about money.
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SPEAKER_01
It s kind of true.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s very astute.
1
SPEAKER_00
On this side, I ll tell you what percentage of my income I m actually spending.
1
SPEAKER_00
You might feel better.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s gross to say, but no, I got to have a lot of safety and then I ll go splurge, but increasingly.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s why I asked if you came to it, because I have now come to it, which is really all I want is trips with my family.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s all I m gonna remember.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s the only thing that s actually pleasurable.
1
SPEAKER_00
The bus is pleasurable, but the family s in it.
1
SPEAKER_00
We re out two weeks every summer, we re driving around the country in the bus.
1
SPEAKER_00
So it works out.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
Back to where did I want to go back to?
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, dad s staying here.
1
SPEAKER_00
How often is he out?
1
SPEAKER_01
Comes maybe two or three times a year.
1
SPEAKER_01
77 years old.
1
SPEAKER_01
He wants to come enjoy his grandkids.
1
SPEAKER_01
My sister s out here.
1
SPEAKER_01
She s got three kids.
1
SPEAKER_01
So he s really enjoying his time.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he moved here when he was 15 from Italy.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he s a hairdresser.
1
SPEAKER_00
He s a hairdresser.
1
SPEAKER_00
So that to me, I ve got an image of a 70s, 80s in Chicago hairdresser.
1
SPEAKER_00
Is there some natural flamboyance?
1
SPEAKER_00
No.
1
SPEAKER_01
Growing up, he was bald with a ponytail.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s a look.
1
SPEAKER_00
That might have been a giveaway.
1
SPEAKER_01
And he always dressed like he was going to a funeral.
1
SPEAKER_01
So always in black, but very stylish.
1
SPEAKER_01
I borrowed my dad s clothes growing up.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s not like I had one of these dads who was a square.
1
SPEAKER_00
But I am wondering, because so much of your comedy is about your dad.
1
SPEAKER_00
First of all, I m a huge fan.
1
SPEAKER_00
I just love your shit.
1
SPEAKER_00
Also, I grew up on Dice, and I missed the Dice energy so much.
1
SPEAKER_00
And you certainly have some of that Dice energy I love.
1
SPEAKER_00
But so much of your comedy is about your dad.
1
SPEAKER_00
Weirdly enough, when I did Stand Up, most of mine was about my dad.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I just know that had I gotten huge doing comedy, he would have loved it.
1
SPEAKER_00
He would have wanted to come experience it a little bit.
1
SPEAKER_00
Does your dad like the fact that he s so present in your comedy?
1
SPEAKER_01
He loves the fact that he s a staple in the act.
1
SPEAKER_01
He also loves kind of the residual effect it s having on his life.
1
SPEAKER_01
Since he s so prevalent on my Instagram and what have you, he gets noticed a lot.
1
SPEAKER_01
He actually gets upset when he feels like somebody recognizes him and they don t come up to him.
1
SPEAKER_01
So listeners, if you ever see him, please go up.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you d be inconveniencing him by not interrupting his dinner.
1
SPEAKER_01
He told me he was at the airport on his way over and he s like, I noticed a couple looking at me and I was upset that they didn t approach.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m proud of you that you give that to your dad generously and it s not a complex situation.
1
SPEAKER_00
So my dad left when I was three.
1
SPEAKER_00
As I got famous, he was enjoying too.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like I called him one time out of nowhere, middle of the day on a Wednesday, he picks up the phone and he goes, Oh good.
1
SPEAKER_00
Tell this woman who you are.
1
SPEAKER_00
Hands the phone to a stranger.
1
SPEAKER_00
Who s this?
1
SPEAKER_00
He s like,
1
SPEAKER_00
No, who s this?
1
SPEAKER_00
I go, Dax.
1
SPEAKER_00
She goes, no way.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I go, okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
Can you give the phone back to my dad?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, good thing you called.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m in an argument with this woman at the Walmart checkout.
1
SPEAKER_00
She says, you re not my son.
1
SPEAKER_00
I go, you re in the middle of the afternoon at Walmart.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m your son.
1
SPEAKER_00
I got the showbiz bug from him.
1
SPEAKER_00
He would have loved to have done this I had a hard time a acknowledging.
1
SPEAKER_00
I probably got all this from him and then be Inviting them in more.
1
SPEAKER_01
I regret that I wish I had done that but it sounds like you re good at that My dad s always been kind of a critic of what I ve been doing my entire life We just actually were talking about this before I came here.
1
SPEAKER_01
I
1
SPEAKER_01
And I don t know how you are with your kids.
1
SPEAKER_01
You seem like a positive guy.
1
SPEAKER_01
Do you have kids?
1
SPEAKER_00
No, I don t.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
So, oh, good job, that type of, you know.
1
SPEAKER_00
Affirming.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Supportive, you mean?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, sure.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, I grew up really with that environment.
1
SPEAKER_01
I grew up with, if I scored two goals in soccer, he would point out it was never that compliment, then constructive criticism.
1
SPEAKER_01
It was kind of always constructive criticism.
1
SPEAKER_00
Or just criticism, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s nice of you to euphemize it on his behalf, but it doesn t sound like it.
1
SPEAKER_01
But he acknowledged now, he s like, yeah, I probably could have massaged the message a little bit better.
1
SPEAKER_01
But then I always come back with, yeah, but if you did, would that have made me weaker and not who I am today?
1
SPEAKER_00
Are you still slinging hash at the Four Seasons?
1
SPEAKER_00
Bozo actors on their first movie junket.
1
SPEAKER_01
Hard to know what s right, what s wrong.
1
SPEAKER_01
I guess you gotta go on instinct and, hey, this is what I know.
1
SPEAKER_01
But now, having kids, I m firm.
1
SPEAKER_01
But there s a lot of I love you s going around the house.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that s good.
1
SPEAKER_01
A lot of hugging, a lot of kissing.
1
SPEAKER_01
Sure.
1
SPEAKER_01
Not that I was, growing up, not given those things.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, aren t you Italians supposed to be so affectionate?
1
SPEAKER_00
Was he affectionate?
1
SPEAKER_01
No, I think he s more emotional now than he ever was.
1
SPEAKER_01
I always feel like he s on the brink of tears at any moment of the day.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s getting older, dude.
1
SPEAKER_00
I am two now.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was bawling at my gilsons.
1
SPEAKER_01
Picking out fruit.
1
SPEAKER_01
I saw a fucking peach.
1
SPEAKER_01
Made me cry.
1
SPEAKER_01
I ve always been emotional, and my wife is the complete opposite.
1
SPEAKER_01
We d be watching a movie, and I ll be the one crying.
1
SPEAKER_01
I look over, and I m like, nothing, I m just dying.
1
SPEAKER_01
But I m seeing a lot of that in my father now, in his, you know, 77.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I think what happens with parents is they get older, they re reflecting back on their life, and maybe they re analyzing, man, maybe you should have went down this road, or maybe you should have done that.
1
SPEAKER_01
And it brings up a lot of different turmoil for them.
1
SPEAKER_00
But you also have these moments, I m sure your dad s having them, where you just go like, oh, fuck, it worked out.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, relief.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like you just carry so much anxiety.
1
SPEAKER_00
Am I spending the money right?
1
SPEAKER_00
Am I on the road too much?
1
SPEAKER_00
Am I too loving?
1
SPEAKER_00
Am I not?
1
SPEAKER_00
You re just tormenting yourself your whole life.
1
SPEAKER_00
And occasionally you let yourself go like, yeah, it s working out.
1
SPEAKER_00
Look at these little beautiful kids.
1
SPEAKER_01
I wish I had more of those moments.
1
SPEAKER_01
Did you say four and six?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s going to be seven tomorrow.
1
SPEAKER_01
I think they are smarter at this age than I ever was at their age.
1
SPEAKER_01
Just what they have access to.
1
SPEAKER_01
These kids nowadays are so much more well-rounded than we ever were.
1
SPEAKER_01
And that has a lot to do with the exposure to even information.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like, I was on the iPhone looking up stuff.
1
SPEAKER_01
Back in the day, if we didn t know something, you would talk as a family and go, who am I to know this?
1
SPEAKER_01
Uncle Joe knows it.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s on vacation.
1
SPEAKER_00
When he comes back, we ll ask him.
1
SPEAKER_00
If you would remember.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
I know you were way more comfortable just not knowing much.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_00
There s a lot of wondering.
1
SPEAKER_00
And being comfortable in not knowing, which I think increasingly people are so uncomfortable if they don t know something.
1
SPEAKER_01
Even if somebody tells me something, I ain t going to remember it anyway.
1
SPEAKER_01
My memory, you re young, but you know, you re 49.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m doing this TV show right now, Memorizing Lines.
1
SPEAKER_01
Bookie?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Season two?
1
SPEAKER_01
Some of the actors, they ll look at it, yeah, okay, let s go.
1
SPEAKER_01
If somebody gives me lines going, we changed the line, hey, I need to...
1
SPEAKER_00
Another day.
1
SPEAKER_01
We need to shut it down and I gotta go home again.
1
SPEAKER_00
I need this.
1
SPEAKER_00
I gotta be in my bedroom to learn this.
1
SPEAKER_00
You re on season two.
1
SPEAKER_00
How many episodes was season one?
1
SPEAKER_00
Eight.
1
SPEAKER_00
And this is eight.
1
SPEAKER_00
I had a hard time in movies memorizing lines.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was a beat down.
1
SPEAKER_00
I had to write it out.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like I d write it on yellow paper.
1
SPEAKER_00
I had all these tricks.
1
SPEAKER_00
Get on Parenthood.
1
SPEAKER_00
First season, maybe I think 18 episodes, maybe 20.
1
SPEAKER_00
Season two, you could come in and hand me a five-page scene while I m in the makeup chair, and I d look at it, and I m like, okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
You will get good at it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think it is definitely a muscle that needs to be worked.
1
SPEAKER_01
Because don t you find by episode seven last year, you re like, oh yeah, it s half as long.
1
SPEAKER_01
We ve been in four weeks production right now, and I m feeling, I m hitting a stride.
1
SPEAKER_01
That being said, I feel like I transpose words and flip them around, and when you re on a movie set or a TV set, you got 150 people there waiting to go home.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s the hard part of acting.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s not acting.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s the stress of performing and everyone s waiting for you and looking at you.
1
SPEAKER_00
It can be even harsher.
1
SPEAKER_00
You re gonna fail at your job five times in a row.
2
SPEAKER_02
to getting it right on the sixth time, and 100 people are going to watch.
2
SPEAKER_02
And they want to go to lunch.
2
SPEAKER_02
Mm-hmm.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s a unique situation.
2
SPEAKER_01
For a comedian doing this, it s hard not to look at the crew and go, is this funny?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, sure.
2
SPEAKER_00
Bad.
2
SPEAKER_00
Bad.
2
SPEAKER_01
Smiling.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re hearing crickets.
2
SPEAKER_01
By design.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, on purpose, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
I ll catch in the corner of my eye, like, a guy s texting.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m like, he s crazy.
2
SPEAKER_01
He don t even want to watch this.
2
SPEAKER_01
Have you caught them watching another show?
2
SPEAKER_01
They re on their phone.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, they re binge-watching other shows while they re doing mine.
2
SPEAKER_02
Watching a different Chuck Lorre show.
2
SPEAKER_02
Fuck, I wish I was on Young Sheldon.
2
SPEAKER_02
This kid knows his lines.
2
SPEAKER_01
Mom, here we are.
2
SPEAKER_02
Can I test some of my Italian stereotypes on you?
2
SPEAKER_02
Sure.
2
SPEAKER_02
I had a very limited data set where I grew up.
2
SPEAKER_02
But my best friend in sixth grade was Joey Riccardi.
2
SPEAKER_02
And his dad was a bricklayer.
2
SPEAKER_02
He was fucking Luigi.
2
SPEAKER_02
Hardest working motherfucker.
2
SPEAKER_02
Bought a Bertone, remember?
2
SPEAKER_02
He wanted a Ferrari, but he bought a Bertone.
2
SPEAKER_02
Bertone?
2
SPEAKER_02
Is that a shoe or a car?
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what that means.
2
SPEAKER_02
He was one of the designers for Ferrari and he made more of an inexpensive Italian car.
2
SPEAKER_02
But I heard later he did get the Ferrari.
2
SPEAKER_02
But great family, four sisters, Joey Riccardi, the mom, always cooking.
2
SPEAKER_02
I loved going over there.
2
SPEAKER_02
The way they were allowed to speak to their mother was like something I had never seen in my life.
2
SPEAKER_02
And the way the mom doted on Joey.
2
SPEAKER_02
was also something I never really observed outside of that.
2
SPEAKER_02
Microcosm, did mom dote on you?
2
SPEAKER_02
She did, but rabble a test.
2
SPEAKER_01
Northwest suburbs of Chicago.
2
SPEAKER_01
A lot of negativity.
2
SPEAKER_01
What brand of negativity?
2
SPEAKER_01
Just like I did a movie.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, anybody see it?
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, like nagging kind of.
2
SPEAKER_01
The friends, everybody.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m from a Detroit suburb, it s the same thing.
2
SPEAKER_02
Boston s got it particularly bad.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s the you think you re better than me chip on their shoulder.
2
SPEAKER_02
Is that what it is?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, you think you re fucking better than me?
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, you were in a movie, huh?
2
SPEAKER_02
That s cute.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s like taking everyone down a notch.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes, it s required.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s required learning.
2
SPEAKER_01
back in the Northwest suburbs.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s taken as a joke and fun.
2
SPEAKER_01
I get it.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s not like I m sitting there losing sleep over it, but there s not a lot of complimentary, good job, you made it.
2
SPEAKER_01
My mom, she s always proud.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m talking about just the people that you kind of grew up with.
2
SPEAKER_01
Not that they re not proud, but we always kind of break each other down.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, no, they re super proud when you re not there.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, exactly.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s just when you re there.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, I gotta tell you, when I m there, I think they re proud because no one s paying for anything.
2
SPEAKER_00
They re grateful you re there.
2
SPEAKER_01
I ve got my friends now, they don t even bring out a wallet when I go out.
2
SPEAKER_01
Not even an offer?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, has that changed relationships?
2
SPEAKER_01
I haven t had anybody ask for money.
2
SPEAKER_00
You haven t?
2
SPEAKER_01
No.
2
SPEAKER_01
Everybody s got their own thing, and if I see somebody that might need it, I ll give it to them before they even ask.
2
SPEAKER_00
You offer it up.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I haven t had the money thing.
2
SPEAKER_01
What was it?
2
SPEAKER_01
Nicotine.
2
SPEAKER_01
Listen, you can t just shoot something in your mouth in the middle of the thing and not like... No, listen, Sebastian...
2
SPEAKER_02
This is an improvement.
2
SPEAKER_02
I quit dipping on January 1st.
2
SPEAKER_02
And half the people I interview, half are you, half are professors.
2
SPEAKER_02
And they d be sitting across from me and they d spend half the interview like, he s spitting into that container.
2
SPEAKER_02
What did he just put in his mouth?
2
SPEAKER_02
I d run through half a tin in one of those interviews and it would be like a chief justice of the Supreme Court trying to figure out what the fuck I m doing over here.
2
SPEAKER_02
So this is an improvement.
2
SPEAKER_02
How many squirts a day?
2
SPEAKER_02
Whatever it takes.
2
SPEAKER_01
Did you ever smoke?
2
SPEAKER_01
No, never smoked, never dipped, none of that.
2
SPEAKER_01
Drinking?
2
SPEAKER_01
What s your relationship?
2
SPEAKER_01
I like wine.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, me too.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, vino.
2
SPEAKER_01
But you know, you listen to these podcasts and Huberman Lab, Instagram, you go on, everybody s got a take on alcohol, poison, you lose sleep.
2
SPEAKER_01
Then you get caught up in all this, which we never even had access to 15, 20 years ago.
2
SPEAKER_01
You just went to sleep, but you didn t sleep well.
2
SPEAKER_01
You were like, oh, what the fuck?
2
SPEAKER_00
I just had a bad night s sleep.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
My back hurts.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s true.
2
SPEAKER_00
You didn t spend the next whole day thinking, oh, I had that glass of wine and that s why I didn t sleep.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because you didn t optimize yourself.
2
SPEAKER_01
I had a couple of glasses of wine last night.
2
SPEAKER_01
Apparently I m stealing hours now from today.
2
SPEAKER_01
What the fuck?
2
SPEAKER_01
What?
2
SPEAKER_01
I got a sleep ring on because now I got to know how much deep REM sleep I m getting.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t even do anything with the information though.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know what I m saying?
2
SPEAKER_01
Do you sleep ring it or calorie intake?
2
SPEAKER_02
My wife has done all of it.
2
SPEAKER_02
The best version of myself just doesn t say anything about it, but occasionally it comes out and I go, exactly what you just said.
2
SPEAKER_02
What are we doing this data?
2
SPEAKER_02
Are we sending it to NASA?
2
SPEAKER_02
We know what to do.
2
SPEAKER_02
Go to sleep, eat well, move your body.
2
SPEAKER_02
Why do we have to introduce all these different devices to reinforce?
2
SPEAKER_02
Every one of us knows what the fuck to do.
2
SPEAKER_02
Nobody s literally scratching their head right now at Dairy Queen on their third blizzard going,
2
SPEAKER_02
Wait a minute, is this not the best choice for me?
2
SPEAKER_02
We know.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, we know what to do.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s just you feel like you have to... Quantify your whole existence.
2
SPEAKER_01
Monitor.
2
SPEAKER_01
You have a ring on.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so this is the aura sleep ring that I look at in the morning.
2
SPEAKER_01
I get up in the morning, I go, who s that?
2
SPEAKER_01
What score do you average?
2
SPEAKER_01
I m in the low 70s.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay, we can live with that.
2
SPEAKER_01
My ideal world, I should be around 82, 85.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t even know what that means.
2
SPEAKER_00
What does it mean?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Also, what a bizarre gap you just laid out.
2
SPEAKER_02
82 or 85.
2
SPEAKER_02
What a fucking perverted goal.
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay, but I was talking about a friend and my friend still does it and he hates it Charlie gets like a fucking 40 every night And so all this thing does is you wake up and you look in you go.
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, I m gonna have a shit
2
SPEAKER_02
It s like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, I don t necessarily look at it like that.
2
SPEAKER_01
My wife does.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s why she doesn t look at it in the morning.
2
SPEAKER_01
She looks at it at night, so she goes, okay, yeah, I had a great day, but my sleep score was 53, so it doesn t correlate.
2
SPEAKER_01
This doesn t mean much.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Me, first thing I do, it s like a game to me.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s like, you know, I look at my stocks in the morning.
2
SPEAKER_01
What s going on here?
2
SPEAKER_01
Do you own a lot of stocks?
2
SPEAKER_01
I invest in the stock market, so.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m well diversified.
2
SPEAKER_00
Do you play Wordle or Connections?
2
SPEAKER_02
No, I don t play any games.
2
SPEAKER_02
See, when Monica and I wake up, first thought is Connections.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s so fun.
2
SPEAKER_02
New York Times, it s got a game app, a puzzle app, the crosswords on there, spelling bees on there.
2
SPEAKER_02
One of them s called Connections.
2
SPEAKER_00
We just got into it.
2
SPEAKER_02
It is 20 words?
2
SPEAKER_02
No.
2
20.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, 20.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, five categories of four words.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, no, you re right.
2
16.
2
SPEAKER_00
Four and four.
2
SPEAKER_00
Four and four.
2
SPEAKER_02
And it s a random group of words, and you gotta figure out which four go in each category.
2
SPEAKER_00
which group together.
2
SPEAKER_02
Like Royal, Navy, Baby.
2
SPEAKER_00
Sky.
2
SPEAKER_02
Sky, what do we got?
2
SPEAKER_02
You play against each other?
2
SPEAKER_00
No, we re on a chain, and so you do it, and then you send it to the chain.
2
SPEAKER_02
You send your results to the chain.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, okay.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s really fun.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
All right, I wanna go back to Illinois.
2
SPEAKER_02
So you weren t allowed to yell at your mom, were you?
2
SPEAKER_02
I guess that s what I m getting at.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah, no, I was yelling.
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it wasn t disrespectful, but, you know... Are we sure?
2
SPEAKER_02
It s a loud house.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s loud.
2
SPEAKER_01
Would the wasps have thought it was disrespectful?
2
SPEAKER_01
No.
2
SPEAKER_01
My house was the house that everybody came to to hang out.
2
SPEAKER_01
So my parents were part of our clique, almost.
2
SPEAKER_01
I wasn t a combative kid.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was very disciplined.
2
SPEAKER_01
I thought my parents were king and queen.
2
SPEAKER_01
I do what they say.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m not rebellious.
2
SPEAKER_01
I, like, raised myself with them.
2
SPEAKER_01
My sister was a little different.
2
SPEAKER_01
Older or younger?
2
SPEAKER_01
Five years younger, a little bit more, like,
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, like my dad one day asked my sister go give me a pop in the garage.
2
SPEAKER_01
She s like, well you go get it.
2
SPEAKER_01
So a lot more combative on the sister side, but our house was like the house.
2
SPEAKER_00
Look, you have children who yell at their parents.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s true.
2
SPEAKER_01
That is allowed.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m not into that, but I want to get your take, because I see this sometimes.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m at the grocery store, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
Kids getting out of line.
2
SPEAKER_01
No, ma, not doing that.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then kowtowing from the parents, like, it s OK, Johnny.
2
SPEAKER_01
In my house, first of all, that doesn t go on.
2
SPEAKER_01
If there was a hint of it, it d be like, I ll leave the groceries right there.
2
SPEAKER_01
We re leaving.
2
SPEAKER_01
And we get in the car, and we re going to have a discussion about it.
2
SPEAKER_01
You don t talk to your parents that way, it s disrespectful.
2
SPEAKER_02
What s your take out of your kids mouthing off?
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, let s be very clear about what happens.
2
SPEAKER_02
So first of all, I think Monica would also add, my kids are insanely good at going, I m really sorry when you said that I felt smaller and I felt like no one respects what I m saying, but I realized I overreacted and I shouldn t have yelled and I m sorry.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s correct.
2
SPEAKER_00
They do do that.
2
SPEAKER_02
So as long as that s
2
SPEAKER_02
where we re getting all I m hoping to turn out in the world.
3
SPEAKER_01
is two kids that can take responsibility for their actions.
3
SPEAKER_01
I do not expect them to have ideal reactions all the time.
3
SPEAKER_01
But what is absolutely unacceptable in my house is that you don t clean up your side of the street and that you don t take responsibility for fucking up.
3
SPEAKER_01
Got it.
3
SPEAKER_01
So, yeah, I ll be upstairs and I hear cereal bowl drop and I ll hear, you fucking piece of shit!
3
SPEAKER_01
And this is a nine-year-old talking to an 11-year-old.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I think, man, she can let it rip.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then we talk about it, and then there s apologies.
3
SPEAKER_01
Now listen, it s not all that frequent, but I m not panicked.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t really care.
3
SPEAKER_01
Their words, it s a way to communicate.
3
SPEAKER_01
The nuns aren t clutching their pearls.
3
SPEAKER_01
They re also not doing it to teachers.
3
SPEAKER_01
Their words and sounds, they re kind, they re loving.
3
SPEAKER_01
And yeah, sometimes they blow.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay, let me- Go ahead.
3
SPEAKER_00
Clarify.
3
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
Is the behavior between the siblings or is a bowl drop
3
SPEAKER_00
and your daughter to your wife goes, you fucking, what are you doing, you shithead?
3
SPEAKER_00
No.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, this one just went, yeah, that happens too.
3
SPEAKER_01
Her face is betraying her.
3
SPEAKER_03
You weren t supposed to say that out loud.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you re not a good side hire, okay?
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like if you and I now know if you and I ever become friends and we re at a table and someone says something super bozo and I look at you and I raise my eyebrows, you re gonna put me on blast immediately.
3
SPEAKER_01
So you ve just now absolutely ruled out the fact that we will ever have inside communication.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay?
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay, okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
Now, just really quick so I can clarify.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I think you ll agree on this, Monica.
3
SPEAKER_01
Once every two months, it s always the nine-year-old.
3
SPEAKER_01
The nine-year-old and my wife have a disagreement.
3
SPEAKER_01
It escalates, it escalates.
3
SPEAKER_01
And as she s walking away, she lets a few swear words rip.
3
SPEAKER_03
It s not every day.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s not habitual.
3
SPEAKER_01
It gets to that threshold.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s the only thing left she can do to really express how outraged she is.
3
SPEAKER_03
He s also my favorite person.
3
SPEAKER_01
By the way, there s no kowtowing.
3
SPEAKER_01
There s no like, oh, I m sorry, honey.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m sorry you re upset.
3
SPEAKER_01
There s none of that.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s go chill, come back in 10 when you got your heart rate under control, and let s chat about what just happened, because clearly we re not talking to each other that way.
3
SPEAKER_00
Wife and you on the same page in a lot of the upbringing.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Was this just by design, or is this like, oh, yeah, no, she grew up kind of the same way I grew up?
3
SPEAKER_01
No, it s been a huge evolution, and it has taken many years.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m dying to know what you and your wife, Lana?
3
SPEAKER_00
Lana, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
What your evolution has been.
3
SPEAKER_01
I did not want to be a dad who like rolls in at dinnertime and there s a whole system in place and I just stay out of the way.
3
SPEAKER_01
I want ownership of the experience.
3
SPEAKER_01
And my wife and I are opposites and we came from very opposite families and she went to a private Catholic school.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m a fucking scumbag junkie with a single mom and it was chaos.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I have a thing, she s got a thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
Over time, it has gotten very cohesive, and we re very much on the same page.
3
SPEAKER_01
And it was a learning curve.
3
SPEAKER_01
How about you guys?
3
SPEAKER_01
So I m the disciplinarian.
3
SPEAKER_00
My wife comes from a completely different background.
3
SPEAKER_00
I come from working middle class.
3
SPEAKER_00
She comes from very wealthy.
3
SPEAKER_00
So her upbringing was a lot of whatever you want, whatever you need.
3
SPEAKER_00
Semester at sea.
3
SPEAKER_00
Studying on a boat, going to visit 13 countries, right?
3
SPEAKER_00
Sleepaway camp, that vibe.
3
SPEAKER_00
Horse riding?
3
SPEAKER_00
Not so much horse riding.
3
SPEAKER_01
Only because she wasn t interested.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it was probably offered.
3
SPEAKER_00
Part of the package.
3
SPEAKER_01
One of the amenities.
3
SPEAKER_00
So a lot of racket sport, a lot of that.
3
SPEAKER_00
So it works in a way because she s very nurturing, very, hey, you know, what s wrong?
3
SPEAKER_00
I m a little bit more aggressive and firm.
3
SPEAKER_00
So it s a good balance there.
3
SPEAKER_02
Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.
3
SPEAKER_00
But one thing that I did read in preparation for this podcast, and I gotta get your take on this because we re on two opposite ends of the spectrum here, and I want to clarify if this is true.
3
SPEAKER_00
Let s dance.
3
SPEAKER_01
Santa Claus.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah, I heard you on Kimmel rambling about this.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so.
3
SPEAKER_01
Go ahead, lay out your Santa Claus.
3
SPEAKER_00
Your child asked if Santa Claus was real, and you said... It s different than that.
3
SPEAKER_00
What is the story?
3
SPEAKER_00
So, I get it right.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, the story is like, okay, Santa s coming, whatever age that is where you can actually have that conversation.
3
SPEAKER_01
Maybe it s three.
3
SPEAKER_01
Three years old?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, zero to two, just there s presents under the tree.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
Right?
3
SPEAKER_01
They re not communicating.
3
SPEAKER_03
Like, introducing Santa.
3
SPEAKER_01
Gotcha.
3
SPEAKER_01
Here is the lore.
3
SPEAKER_01
So, yeah, Santa s coming, I think around three, and she s like, oh, cool, cool, cool.
3
SPEAKER_01
Next day, it was like, how does Santa go to every house?
3
SPEAKER_01
in the world in one night.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m like, okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
So, you know, he s on a sleigh, it s magic, time travels differently, he goes at the speed of light, you know, whatever the hell I m saying.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m looking at her little face and she s like, none of that makes sense.
3
SPEAKER_01
None of that makes sense, what you just said to me.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, huh, that felt a little weird.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m looking directly in her face and I ve just made up like five fucking weird lies.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I let that go.
3
SPEAKER_01
I wanted to have the magic of Christmas.
3
SPEAKER_01
Two days later, there s another really good question.
3
SPEAKER_01
So he s going to come down the chimney.
3
SPEAKER_01
There s going to be a man in the house.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then what?
3
SPEAKER_01
Does he look at us?
3
SPEAKER_01
Does he do this?
3
SPEAKER_01
Does he walk through the house?
3
SPEAKER_01
What I realized within about a week of explaining Santa Claus was that I had to come up with about 12 other lies to justify this fairy tale.
3
SPEAKER_01
What I saw was the best part of my child, her critical thinking, going, this smells.
3
SPEAKER_01
The person she trusts the most is saying, ignore that and trust me.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, I m out.
3
SPEAKER_01
I told my wife, I m like, I can t do this.
3
SPEAKER_01
Then it ll be fucking elf on the shelf.
3
SPEAKER_01
Don t touch the elf, he ll die at the North Pole.
3
SPEAKER_01
Why?
3
SPEAKER_01
To test your purity of temptation, the apple and the fucking tree and we re in Eden.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I realized the whole thing is the foundation to buy into the other big one that I don t do and probably you do.
3
SPEAKER_01
There s this guy.
3
SPEAKER_01
He s his son and his dad.
3
SPEAKER_01
He created the earth in seven days.
3
SPEAKER_01
The earth is 4,000 years old.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s all a primer.
3
SPEAKER_01
If you ignore all your critical thinking, all your good, smart senses, you ll get this huge reward on the 25th.
3
SPEAKER_01
I also find it a little repugnant that you would need leverage over your child.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, he s watching you.
3
SPEAKER_01
Shame, sin, you won t deserve it.
3
SPEAKER_01
You ll be denied this.
3
SPEAKER_03
Some people get coal.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, the whole thing is madness.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m gonna jump to one last thing as my final point on it.
3
SPEAKER_01
They like Christmas exactly as much as I did.
3
SPEAKER_01
You wake up, there s fucking presents galore, the tree s lit up, the house is decorated, it smells good, we re eating good food, we gather around, we were thoughtful, we bought each other stuff, we re sharing our family.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s beautiful.
3
SPEAKER_01
Santa was kind of irrelevant.
3
SPEAKER_01
I wouldn t have guessed that.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m like, I want them to have what I have.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s just as good, but I m not 36 lies deep into it.
3
SPEAKER_03
It s a pretty family.
3
SPEAKER_00
I like the argument.
3
SPEAKER_00
Rebuttal.
3
SPEAKER_00
No.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m not going to break it down.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I agree with what you said.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re lying on top of lies to perpetuate this.
3
SPEAKER_00
Your little faces trying to compute what you re telling me.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, at three, to be thinking that way is pretty advanced.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I m going to tell you what we did.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ll do it.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ll support it no matter what it is.
3
SPEAKER_01
Wait, can I say that to be really clear?
3
SPEAKER_01
People will hear that and think I m judgmental of them.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t give a fuck what anyone s doing.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t think what I m doing is right.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think what I m doing is right between me and my two girls.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s great.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is the problem I got.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
My daughter comes up to me and goes, I think you and mommy are putting the shit under the tree.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I think you re hiding the eggs.
3
SPEAKER_00
Now I m like, why would you think that?
3
SPEAKER_00
Come on.
3
SPEAKER_00
They don t got time to do that.
3
SPEAKER_00
Are you hearing this at school?
3
SPEAKER_00
That s where I jumped to you gotta find a red You know and she kind of alluded to the fact that this was going around school so I leave the room crying
3
SPEAKER_00
I go up to my wife and I said, on this mother thread you re on, see who s talking shit on Santa.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna figure out what s going on.
3
SPEAKER_00
Sure enough, one of the women says, Kristen Bell.
3
SPEAKER_03
My husband refuses to go with this.
3
SPEAKER_03
Sorry.
3
SPEAKER_00
I told my kid that there was no sin.
3
SPEAKER_00
I couldn t lie to them.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, that s what the other parent said.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
So that kid now is coming to school and spoiling it for the rest.
3
SPEAKER_00
Now, if you want to do that at your home, that s fine.
3
SPEAKER_01
Can I tell you something?
3
SPEAKER_01
The immediate next thing I said is, you are not to tell anyone this.
3
SPEAKER_01
Other people enjoy it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Other people believe in stuff.
3
SPEAKER_01
Other people believe in God.
3
SPEAKER_01
Other people believe in Jesus.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s not our business.
3
SPEAKER_01
In this house, I m telling you the truth and it stays in here.
3
SPEAKER_01
So just so you know, I don t want my kids going and ruining it.
3
SPEAKER_00
So that s what was happening.
3
SPEAKER_00
in my situation.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s no good.
3
SPEAKER_00
They made the decision for you.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s not cool.
3
SPEAKER_00
Not cool.
3
SPEAKER_00
So, and I got to get your take on this.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh.
3
SPEAKER_00
I go, we got to restore Santa.
3
SPEAKER_00
Santa s got to get back up in this house.
3
SPEAKER_01
We need a big bit of proof right now.
3
SPEAKER_00
So, I m at a party with a Santa Claus, talking to the Santa, and I tell him, I go, Santa, my kid don t believe anymore.
3
SPEAKER_00
Wait, I should clarify.
3
SPEAKER_00
Do you believe in Santa?
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, did you think you... I dream for shit.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
So Santa, he s a fucking head-scratcher.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m telling Santa at this party that this is what s going on at school, and he goes, I offer a service.
4
SPEAKER_01
I said, what?
4
SPEAKER_01
He goes, I come to your house Christmas Eve.
4
SPEAKER_01
How much?
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, that s the first question I ask.
4
SPEAKER_01
Of course.
4
SPEAKER_01
Was this going to set me back?
4
SPEAKER_01
I said, Lana, get this guy s number.
4
SPEAKER_01
And let s call him and see what this is going to cost.
4
SPEAKER_01
$300, this fucking guy comes.
4
SPEAKER_01
Hold on a second.
4
SPEAKER_02
Okay, I think I d prefer to spend a grand in this situation.
4
SPEAKER_02
You re not looking for a bargain for a dude coming in your house in the middle of the night.
4
SPEAKER_02
We re looking for a deal.
4
SPEAKER_02
So this Santa starts at 800 bucks and says, 600 bucks?
4
SPEAKER_02
I can t pay you $400.
4
SPEAKER_02
Fine, take the $300.
4
SPEAKER_02
Spread up, spread up.
4
SPEAKER_01
Long story short, 11.30, Christmas Eve.
4
11.30.
4
SPEAKER_00
What?
4
SPEAKER_00
I want to hear it.
4
SPEAKER_01
11.30, this guy shows up drunk in his suit, the whole thing.
4
SPEAKER_01
Wake up my daughter, Santa s here.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, God.
4
SPEAKER_00
In the chimney of the tree.
4
SPEAKER_01
He s huddling under the tree.
4
SPEAKER_01
He s putting presents under the tree.
4
SPEAKER_01
I wake up my daughter.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, no.
4
SPEAKER_01
He s in the living room, right?
4
SPEAKER_01
I go to get my son.
4
SPEAKER_01
He could care less.
4
SPEAKER_01
Do you have your camera?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
You got to play it all real, because if Santa really did roll through, you re going to try to get a pic.
4
SPEAKER_02
Cut the whole thing on video.
4
SPEAKER_01
Son don t want any part of it, he s tired of it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Goes back to bed.
4
SPEAKER_01
She sees him, she s lit up, right?
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God, I said, I go, come on, we gotta go back.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it s restored, okay?
4
SPEAKER_01
Now.
4
SPEAKER_01
When she finds out, she finds out after this.
4
SPEAKER_01
Not like I m going to be hiring Santa every year to come by.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I just didn t like the fact that that kid found out at home, told my kid, and ruined it.
4
SPEAKER_01
And we didn t say, hey, yeah, we re Santa.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_00
So she went back to school and she confronted that kid.
4
SPEAKER_02
Said that he was in my house.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, I saw him.
4
SPEAKER_00
I saw him in my house.
4
SPEAKER_00
And now what?
4
SPEAKER_00
And now what?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Cause that girl s like, no you didn t.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t even know what happened at school.
4
SPEAKER_01
This could cripple my kid s upbringing.
4
SPEAKER_02
Minimally, it ll be brought up in some therapy session at 23, I think.
4
SPEAKER_02
And in conclusion, might be my dad loved me so much, he invited a stranger into my house, a guy that only charges $300 to come in your house at 11.30 at night.
4
SPEAKER_01
He got a deal.
4
SPEAKER_01
My dad loves a deal.
4
SPEAKER_01
Did you smell any booze on him or anything?
4
SPEAKER_01
Not any booze, but you haven t lived until you re outside in your slippers peeling off $300 bills to Santa Claus at midnight on a Christmas Eve.
4
SPEAKER_02
Listen, I m gonna throw another couple hundred in here.
4
SPEAKER_02
You know the Bromsteins?
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, they re Jewish.
4
SPEAKER_02
I want you to fucking go in that house.
4
SPEAKER_02
There s another thing, though.
4
SPEAKER_01
Go ahead.
4
SPEAKER_01
Growing up, we didn t have a lot of Jewish people in our school.
4
SPEAKER_01
So everybody, Santa.
4
SPEAKER_01
So now we got a lot of Jewish people in the school.
4
SPEAKER_01
They must be going, Santa don t come to our house.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, exactly.
4
SPEAKER_00
Tell me about it.
4
SPEAKER_00
It gets confusing.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
You know, we have a good friend who s from Venezuela, and they have the most hilarious thing, which is they don t get Santa, but they tell their kids it s because it doesn t snow here.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, they have baby Jesus.
4
SPEAKER_00
Baby Jesus brings presents and stuff.
4
SPEAKER_00
They have like a completely different- But they re aware of Santa.
4
SPEAKER_02
They know he exists in North America, but there s no snow down there, so he can t drive his sleigh down there.
4
SPEAKER_02
That s a good one.
4
SPEAKER_02
You d be very up for that.
4
SPEAKER_02
But Sebastian, you must consider as the next holiday approaches, she ll be told again.
4
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I can t even imagine this poor fight she s going to be in on the playground trying to explain.
4
SPEAKER_01
No, he was absolutely embarrassed.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s going to set in eventually.
4
SPEAKER_01
Is she armed with the picture?
4
SPEAKER_01
You know what?
4
SPEAKER_01
My daughter is smart.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think she s pacifying us.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
And she kind of knows.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
She s seven tomorrow.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s over.
4
SPEAKER_01
If it comes up again, we ll have to tell her, listen, it ain t true, but make it true for your brother because he s four.
4
SPEAKER_02
Okay, let me ask you this because the first time we pitched the Santa concept to her, it didn t go well.
4
SPEAKER_02
Two seconds later, it s Easter.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I m like, I m willing to lie over Christmas, but to say there s an Easter bunny that came through the house.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, now we re talking about- That was crazy.
4
SPEAKER_02
Now we re talking about like a sentient bunny who s full size.
4
SPEAKER_02
It really strikes you at how mad it is.
4
SPEAKER_02
And by the way, it s not like we re honoring some 3,000-year-old tradition.
4
SPEAKER_02
This Easter bunny thing was probably invented in the 60s or something.
4
SPEAKER_01
The Easter bunny, for me, I m sitting there, even though I m a four-year-old, going, you ain t putting this shit together that there s a bunny walking around with baskets.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, what is the bunny?
4
SPEAKER_02
It s not a normal bunny.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s a full-size human, right?
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, and the fact that he s breaking into the house.
4
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, and Santa does that.
4
SPEAKER_00
They re all robbers.
4
SPEAKER_02
He ll be a heavy-set dude, entering through the chimney, big combat boots.
4
SPEAKER_02
He s been tracking you all year.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think a lot of people don t even do that with Easter.
4
SPEAKER_00
They say, we re doing an egg hunt.
4
SPEAKER_00
Mommy and Daddy did the egg hunt, and Easter Bunny s just like a character.
4
SPEAKER_00
But because it s not as widespread, not everyone s on the same page with the Easter Bunny.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I think it s the first one to go.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I mean, in talking to you about this, I see another perspective.
4
SPEAKER_01
Tunnel will go down, and I m more enlightened than I was when I came in here, right?
4
SPEAKER_01
Wow, that s a huge compliment.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay, that s big.
4
SPEAKER_01
Am I going to go explain that to my kids?
4
SPEAKER_01
Probably not.
4
SPEAKER_01
No.
4
SPEAKER_01
But at least I understand the other side of the coin.
4
SPEAKER_01
Coming in here, it was... Let s be really honest, though.
4
SPEAKER_02
I want you to be really honest with me.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Because I m not totally unselfaware.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like, I understand when you read a headline, Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard aren t telling their kids about Santa Claus.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m in the real world, I m like, these idiot liberal holly weirdos.
4
SPEAKER_02
Just get with the program, man.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like, I get it.
4
SPEAKER_02
So be dead honest about, like, when you heard that about me, what blanks did you fill in?
4
SPEAKER_01
I put you with the person at my school that their kid now is going to tell everybody else at school.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
What I didn t think about that you said to your kid, he stays in the house.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
So that s what I missed.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I wish that were a part of a headline.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it s not like I m like, oh, look at this fucking asshole.
4
SPEAKER_01
I kind of might, though.
4
SPEAKER_01
I wouldn t fault you.
4
SPEAKER_01
I associated that mindset with the people that were doing that at the school.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, really?
4
SPEAKER_01
Santa Claus is bad?
4
SPEAKER_01
No.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m totally with you.
4
SPEAKER_02
This just happened.
4
SPEAKER_02
I was on Kimmel a couple weeks ago.
4
SPEAKER_02
I didn t even know this headline existed.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m pretty good at not knowing what s out there.
4
SPEAKER_02
And he brought up on the thing behind me.
4
SPEAKER_02
He s like, what about this article that came out after you interviewed Bradley Cooper?
4
SPEAKER_02
Well, when Bradley and I were talking, we re talking about the fact our daughters come in while we re taking a shit.
4
SPEAKER_02
And they just chat with us in the morning.
4
SPEAKER_02
And the whole time I m like, do you not fucking smell what s going on in here?
4
SPEAKER_02
Like, how are you standing here?
4
SPEAKER_02
How does that not affect them?
4
SPEAKER_02
And we were just bonding over it.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s so weird.
4
SPEAKER_02
Your kids don t care.
4
SPEAKER_02
Of course, there s multiple headlines like Bradley Cooper and Dax Shepard let their kids watch them take a dump.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I m like, let was never part of this conversation.
4
SPEAKER_02
They come in.
4
SPEAKER_02
I don t know what to do about that.
4
SPEAKER_02
But again, if I m in the real world, I m like, guys, you guys are
4
SPEAKER_02
Where are they?
4
SPEAKER_02
Like, insisting their children join them while they take a shit?
4
SPEAKER_02
Is that some new liberal thing too?
4
SPEAKER_01
What kind of fucking weird shit s happening over there?
4
SPEAKER_01
The whole coming in the bathroom thing has happened to me.
4
SPEAKER_01
Of course, you have kids.
4
SPEAKER_01
Hey daddy, and I m...
4
SPEAKER_01
Get out of here.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m like, I ll talk to you when I get out.
4
SPEAKER_01
I can t even talk while I m doing that.
4
SPEAKER_01
You re focused.
4
SPEAKER_02
Evacuating.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
You re not even comfortable saying shitting or pooping.
4
SPEAKER_02
I can already sense your relationship with evacuating is already tenuous.
4
SPEAKER_02
And you had a spectator.
4
SPEAKER_02
I can t have an audience.
4
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_02
I want to go back to your story, which I really, really love.
4
SPEAKER_02
You are, what kind of kid in the social hierarchy?
4
SPEAKER_02
Like in high school, what kind of kid are you?
4
SPEAKER_01
Not in the popular group.
4
SPEAKER_01
Played soccer.
4
SPEAKER_01
I wouldn t say a loner, but I went home for lunch and watched Three s Company.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
Ritter.
4
SPEAKER_01
Ritter.
4
SPEAKER_01
Everybody was throwing a taco bell.
4
SPEAKER_01
I just did my own thing.
4
SPEAKER_01
A lot of my friends went to another school.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I just had a hard time fitting in with the school culture.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was never on prom court or anything like that.
4
SPEAKER_01
Never in the theater.
4
SPEAKER_01
Just was an average student.
4
SPEAKER_02
Shy.
4
SPEAKER_02
And dudes fought in your school, I imagine?
4
SPEAKER_02
Was there a realistic threat of violence?
4
SPEAKER_02
No.
4
SPEAKER_02
Okay, so you weren t afraid of getting, like, your ass kicked.
4
SPEAKER_02
You weren t trying to lay low to just be ignored.
4
SPEAKER_02
Not that school.
4
SPEAKER_02
Okay, were you not a class clown?
4
SPEAKER_02
No.
4
SPEAKER_02
You weren t.
4
SPEAKER_02
No, I despised it.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like, this fucking guy needs so much attention.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s amazing you came here.
4
SPEAKER_02
I must trigger every fucking button you have.
4
SPEAKER_02
Don t I be honest?
4
SPEAKER_02
No, no.
4
SPEAKER_02
I was class clown.
4
SPEAKER_02
You look at my yearbooks, I was class clown.
4
SPEAKER_00
Needs a lot of attention.
4
SPEAKER_02
I don t believe in Christmas.
4
SPEAKER_00
You believe in Christmas.
4
SPEAKER_00
Don t let that be the headline.
4
SPEAKER_01
When do you know you re funny?
4
SPEAKER_01
At home.
4
SPEAKER_01
I d come home and I d report the news of what I saw at school.
4
SPEAKER_01
My dad would do that with his salon too.
4
SPEAKER_01
So make the family laugh.
4
SPEAKER_01
There was a lot of table time growing up.
4
SPEAKER_01
A lot of family dinners.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
And we stayed.
4
SPEAKER_02
This is the thing I m most envious of the Italian family.
4
SPEAKER_01
There was a lot of bonding over
4
SPEAKER_01
food and I shined at book reports or anytime I had to get up in front of the class to do something that s when I would be funny and I would sit down and people would go what this guy didn t say a word all year and now he came up and blew his
5
SPEAKER_01
Okay, I know that archetype.
5
SPEAKER_01
Okay, that s great.
5
SPEAKER_01
But then what s a little incongruous with that is you go away to northern... First of all, the vocabulary you re throwing at me.
5
SPEAKER_00
You re with it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Don t even pretend.
5
SPEAKER_01
You re, like, placating your audience right now.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yes, you are.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Fuck you.
5
SPEAKER_01
Communications major.
5
SPEAKER_01
You went to an actual university.
5
SPEAKER_01
Bullshit.
5
SPEAKER_01
You re, like, you re afraid you re losing fans.
5
SPEAKER_01
Now listen...
5
SPEAKER_01
You go up there, and then suddenly you re the fucking president of a fraternity.
5
SPEAKER_01
That feels incongruous with the dude who goes home to watch Ritter.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yes, but over time, I became a lot more comfortable within my own skin.
5
SPEAKER_00
What were your insecurities in high school?
5
SPEAKER_00
I had bad acne.
5
SPEAKER_00
I got bullied early on in junior high a little bit.
5
SPEAKER_00
I just felt like an outlier.
5
SPEAKER_00
Felt like I didn t fit in.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like they were all having some experience that you were just observing.
5
SPEAKER_00
Still feel like that way, too, at Hollywood.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know, I feel like I m not into Hollywood, and everybody says this, right?
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t have Hollywood friends.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t hang out in the parties.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m not at the Emmys.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m not there.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know what I m saying?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
By the way, you didn t have a TV show.
5
SPEAKER_01
Now you got a TV show, you might end up at that.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m not saying I want to be.
5
SPEAKER_00
Right, exactly.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
No, I know.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think you re maybe better off.
5
SPEAKER_00
I feel like you know a lot of Pete.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, you know Bradley Cooper, right?
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh.
5
SPEAKER_00
No.
5
SPEAKER_00
Bradley.
5
SPEAKER_00
I just feel like you re in the scene.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know what it is?
5
SPEAKER_01
I started working in 2003 on Punk d, then I did a movie and I literally said to myself, wow, you know what this is?
5
SPEAKER_01
This is a chance to go through high school all over again and like everyone.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I m going to take that.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it was a conscious decision.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like I m not going to roll through here as the punk rock skateboarder kid who thinks no one wants to be with him and is going to judge everyone.
5
SPEAKER_01
This is second chance.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m going to high school again, and I m going to like everyone.
5
SPEAKER_01
I did movies for 20 years and TV shows, and I met all these incredible people, and most of the people I worked with I really like and I ve been friends with.
5
SPEAKER_01
Now, do I hang out with celebrities all the time?
5
SPEAKER_01
No.
5
SPEAKER_01
Monica can tell you what my real life is.
5
SPEAKER_01
What is that?
5
SPEAKER_01
Once a month?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
We have our group of friends that s not
5
SPEAKER_01
That is our core group of friends.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m still best friends with my childhood best friend since I was 11, Aaron.
5
SPEAKER_01
So it s like, yeah, I do.
5
SPEAKER_01
I have a lot of relationships, people I ve worked with and I ve adored.
5
SPEAKER_01
But am I immersed?
5
SPEAKER_01
Am I like at some Hollywood sex party?
5
SPEAKER_01
I wish, but I haven t been invited to those.
5
SPEAKER_01
But I do think the human conditions to feel like you re not.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I always felt like I was not at the party.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I didn t have that feeling coming out here.
5
SPEAKER_00
I just felt like, okay, here I go again.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m a lone wolf, strange town.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna go and try and do stand-up.
5
SPEAKER_00
I work alone, just me.
5
SPEAKER_00
The answer to nobody, just me.
5
SPEAKER_00
If I screw up, I screw up.
5
SPEAKER_00
If I do good, I do good.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I think that s the nature of a comedian, where I kind of feel like we re on a fringe of life.
5
SPEAKER_01
If you had maybe ended up at the Groundlings, I m just curious what your relationship with that would all be.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, I ended up at Second City in Chicago.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I hated it.
5
SPEAKER_00
What part?
5
SPEAKER_00
Working with other people.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
I guess that was self-evident, but... No, I was just like, let s take a suggestion, or let s do a scene.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then I m like, alright.
5
SPEAKER_00
I got my own thoughts, and I want to go my own way, and I don t really want to play this game.
5
SPEAKER_00
I didn t want a yes end.
5
SPEAKER_00
My preference was, I got my own funny thoughts, I want to share those funny thoughts, and I don t want to be impeded by anybody else.
5
SPEAKER_00
You don t want to compromise.
5
SPEAKER_00
No, I don t want to compromise.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I went to stand-up, bro.
5
SPEAKER_00
I ve always wanted to be a stand-up, no doubt in my mind, since I was in second grade.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I just always felt I was always watching other people behave.
5
SPEAKER_00
But when you re the president of a fraternity at a college, you re in the thick of it.
5
SPEAKER_00
The way I looked at that, no one wanted to do it.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I don t like to see things fail.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, no one wants to do this, I ll take the reins of doing this.
5
SPEAKER_00
Also, I like getting up in front of people.
5
SPEAKER_00
So every chapter meeting on Monday, it was like a comedy show for me.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I would get up there and, hey, we gotta do this, we gotta do this, we gotta do this, what s the sorority?
5
SPEAKER_00
And I would be doing monologues up there.
5
SPEAKER_01
Is that where you discovered that moving around was amusing to people?
5
SPEAKER_00
No, where I discovered that was just an evolution of doing stand-up.
5
SPEAKER_00
Within the first five years, I did this one joke about Ross for Less where I m chucking stuff across the store and I noticed when I did that, I m like, oh wow, people like,
5
SPEAKER_00
the physical action and explaining the story with movement.
5
SPEAKER_00
Your physicality is so fantastic.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, thank you.
5
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s so fucking amusing.
5
SPEAKER_00
I try to make that a part of what I do.
5
SPEAKER_01
Monica and I were watching a clip of you on Kimmel.
5
SPEAKER_01
And you were mimicking.
5
SPEAKER_01
No matter what you re talking, there s this group over here and you re swirling your hand.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s lovely.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I just think that took time to come out, though.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s no way I normally
5
SPEAKER_00
behave when you re first doing stand-up, you re afraid to like, ooh, can I do that?
5
SPEAKER_00
You re frozen.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
So you re just kind of telling the jokes and then the layers start to peel off and you feel freer and loose and like I could do anything up there and not even thinking about it, which is why I wish I could get there in acting because right now I m like so worried about doing two things at once, like talking, learning the line, and then drinking a cup of coffee.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m like, too much.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s why I like car scenes.
5
SPEAKER_00
Seated with a seatbelt.
5
SPEAKER_01
They ask you to roll the window down, you re out.
5
SPEAKER_01
But as long as you don t have to make a turn or roll the window down or shift, I only do scenes with automatics.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s it.
5
SPEAKER_00
It is a lot to think about all at once.
5
SPEAKER_00
It is.
5
SPEAKER_01
It took me a long time to get loose on camera.
5
SPEAKER_01
I can t even watch early stuff.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m like, I am frozen.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like they told me the mark is there and I am not leaving that Mark.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I am looking in that direction.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m never looking anywhere else.
5
SPEAKER_01
By the way, in real life, you watch me.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m never looking in the same direction for more than five seconds, but in a scene I m like, uh-huh.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then what happened?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I m locked right in.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, you were doing punk.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s definitely all improv.
5
SPEAKER_00
There s no script on that.
5
SPEAKER_00
By the way, were you in any of the auditions in the room with Ashton watching people?
5
SPEAKER_00
I auditioned for that show.
5
SPEAKER_00
I tanked in the audition.
5
SPEAKER_00
The first season.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t even know what season it was.
5
SPEAKER_00
Were you there in the room sometimes?
5
SPEAKER_01
I auditioned for the first season when it was just a pilot called Harassment, and I auditioned, like, 12 times.
5
SPEAKER_01
And maybe the last four, it started becoming obvious maybe I was one of the people, and then they were kind of chemistry testing me with other people.
5
SPEAKER_01
So, not impossible.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, maybe.
5
SPEAKER_01
But you re saying, like, the casting director, Ashton, you,
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I would have never been there sitting watching an audition, but I was brought in to interact with other finalists, I guess.
5
SPEAKER_01
But you think you have a memory of me staring at you while you auditioned?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I think you were there.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then second season, I was gone.
5
SPEAKER_01
I never was around for anything.
5
SPEAKER_00
You did one season of that show?
5
SPEAKER_01
Because I got recognizable after that, like a light switch.
5
SPEAKER_01
So did you feel that that was like a launching pad for you?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and then a huge chip on my shoulder about it for 10 years.
5
SPEAKER_01
I would be doing press for Without a Paddle, and they go like, what s it like to act?
5
SPEAKER_01
because it was a reality show.
5
SPEAKER_01
God, they think I m not an actor.
5
SPEAKER_01
Everyone thinks I m not an actor.
5
SPEAKER_01
Everyone thinks I m a reality show person.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I so distanced myself from that show for like a decade.
5
SPEAKER_01
And one day I woke up and I was like, I m fucking proud as hell of that show.
5
SPEAKER_01
That was impossible what I had to do on that show.
5
SPEAKER_01
I love it now, but it was a rough curve for me.
5
SPEAKER_01
You move here, you re waiting tables at the Four Seasons, and then you re starting to do stand-up, but you re here for a while before you re like at the Comedy Store, yeah?
5
SPEAKER_01
Right away.
5
SPEAKER_01
In 99, I got into the Comedy Store, so one year.
5
SPEAKER_01
Tell me what the different culture is between like what determines whether someone s going to be a Laugh Factory person or a Comedy Store person.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I started taking comedy classes at the comedy store with Mitzi Shore s daughter, Sandy Shore, at the, it was called the Sandy Shore Sandbox Comedy.
5
SPEAKER_00
Pauly Shore s sister?
5
SPEAKER_00
Sister.
5
SPEAKER_00
My thinking was, oh, the sister likes me, she ll tell the mother.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I m into the club.
5
SPEAKER_00
That was my- Sure, of course.
5
SPEAKER_00
Bingo, bango, bongo.
5
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I find out that the mother and the daughter, they don t get along.
5
SPEAKER_01
First day of class.
5
SPEAKER_00
So $550 gone.
5
SPEAKER_01
Couldn t have drank.
5
SPEAKER_01
Could have got one and a half Santas.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I just loved the comedy store.
5
SPEAKER_00
I just loved being there.
5
SPEAKER_00
There s something about it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, it s got a big vibe.
5
SPEAKER_00
I went to the original room.
5
SPEAKER_00
I felt, well, wow, this feels like I m at home.
5
SPEAKER_00
The pictures on the wall.
5
SPEAKER_00
It almost feels like going to Saturday Night Live.
5
SPEAKER_00
I have never done Saturday Night Live, but it feels like there s history there.
5
SPEAKER_00
This is kind of where it all started.
5
SPEAKER_00
Richard Pryor, was he a comedy store guy?
5
SPEAKER_00
Richard Pryor, Jim Carrey.
5
SPEAKER_00
So Laugh Factory, I liked it.
5
SPEAKER_00
It was just kind of bright and
5
SPEAKER_00
young, but no real history there.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s kind of like an old Italian restaurant.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s a comedy store.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
What s the vibe at the Laff?
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t even really know.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m asking sincerely.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it was just like more high energy, younger kids.
5
SPEAKER_00
Still locals or mostly traveling people?
5
SPEAKER_00
You get like a foreign contingent at the comedy store.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know, sometimes people are visiting from Germany and they don t know what to do.
5
SPEAKER_00
They end up at the comedy store.
5
SPEAKER_00
I feel like the laugh factory was like the young, hip, just younger people.
5
SPEAKER_00
You look in a comedy store, there d be like 50-year-old couple and maybe like a group of businessmen.
5
SPEAKER_00
So just, I felt like it was like a diverse group of people.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s kind of where I gravitated towards.
5
SPEAKER_00
She gave me spots at midnight, 12, 31 o clock.
5
SPEAKER_00
I would go after a lot of big names.
5
SPEAKER_00
Eddie Griffin would go up and then I would have to go up.
5
SPEAKER_00
So she would kind of test you, like, can you follow that?
5
SPEAKER_00
What are you gonna do?
5
SPEAKER_00
So there s a lot of that there.
5
SPEAKER_01
That is a unique aspect of stand-up man.
5
SPEAKER_01
Who you re following, who follows you, that whole dynamic is very fascinating.
5
SPEAKER_00
When you re starting out, it s very nerve-wracking.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, intimidating for sure.
5
SPEAKER_00
Or going up at 1.30 in the morning when there s five people in the audience and they re gone.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, they re out to sea.
5
SPEAKER_00
She had a way of building the lineup and structuring it to where you were in your career.
5
SPEAKER_00
And other clubs, they re not curated that way.
6
SPEAKER_00
just like, okay, we got a show and there s a lineup.
6
SPEAKER_00
So you benefited, I imagine, greatly from that.
6
SPEAKER_00
I definitely felt like that was my gym.
6
SPEAKER_00
When did you start feeling, you started in 99, you said?
6
98.
6
SPEAKER_00
98.
6
SPEAKER_00
What year would you say you start feeling like, okay, I m kind of approaching the thing that s actually going to work?
6
SPEAKER_00
I felt like 05, 06, I started coming into my own.
6
SPEAKER_00
And that s amazing, dude.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s seven years.
6
SPEAKER_01
I look at seven year in tapes, and I was still learning.
6
SPEAKER_01
But I just felt like, OK, I m getting my feet here.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m starting to hit the three-pointer a little bit more than normal.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
And you re assembling, I d imagine, a toolkit.
6
SPEAKER_00
You ve got some backups and some go-tos.
6
SPEAKER_00
You assemble some tricks, yeah?
6
SPEAKER_01
When you first start doing stand-up, you don t want to deviate from your material.
6
SPEAKER_01
A bomb could ve went off in a room.
6
SPEAKER_01
I wouldn t acknowledge it.
6
SPEAKER_01
Right.
6
SPEAKER_01
Gotta get through my seven minutes.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s just like anything else, though.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s like you start bodybuilding and you re 160 pounds.
6
SPEAKER_01
You got no muscle.
6
SPEAKER_01
Then you do some chest and you start to see development.
6
SPEAKER_01
No, I m getting biceps.
6
SPEAKER_01
Same way with stand-up.
6
SPEAKER_01
You keep doing it.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, there s a heckler.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay, you dealt with that one night.
6
SPEAKER_01
It went awful.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then the next time it happens and you re like, oh, wow, I kind of handled that better.
6
SPEAKER_01
Thinking about it, and I don t know if this is happening now in stand-up just because the evolution of the internet and social media But the time that you have to put in to stand-up comedy anything but stand-up in particular I don t know if the comedians now are putting that amount of time in because I think they re being thrust into Being a comedian right away because maybe they have some popularity on social media
6
SPEAKER_00
Well, and let s be honest, let s say that in that seven year learning period, certainly you had shows that were really good and you re right home.
6
SPEAKER_00
You re like, fuck, I can t believe that happened.
6
SPEAKER_00
I hope that happens again.
6
SPEAKER_00
Now, that could have been on video.
6
SPEAKER_00
You could have posted that on Instagram.
6
SPEAKER_00
And my assumption is that s what going to see Sebastian is like every time.
6
SPEAKER_00
So it could be a little misleading to the consistency could not be there yet.
6
SPEAKER_00
You could pop.
6
SPEAKER_01
So you could have like a three or four minute great set and put that up and like, oh, my God, this guy s hysterical.
6
SPEAKER_01
You go to a show and it s easy.
6
SPEAKER_01
It takes a while to get material.
6
SPEAKER_01
The way I look at comedy is every joke has to be equal.
6
SPEAKER_01
or greater than the previous joke, right?
6
SPEAKER_01
Because it s like you can t have a dip off and come back up, dip off again.
6
SPEAKER_01
People are going to go, what the, that s not funny.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s got to be consistent.
6
SPEAKER_01
And that s the hardest thing to do, in my opinion, in standup.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s what I pine over.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s funny.
6
SPEAKER_01
Should this even be in the act?
6
SPEAKER_01
Does it match the level of material prior to this, after this?
6
SPEAKER_01
And also, you know, you want to come out, you want to get the attention of the audience.
6
SPEAKER_01
You want to prove to them like the next hour and a half is going to be worth listening to.
6
SPEAKER_01
You got to be careful.
6
SPEAKER_01
You don t want to come out of the gate too strong.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then they go, okay, that guy, the first 10 minutes, where did he go?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Treatment like a sprint instead of a marathon.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
But then you want to smack them in the mouth going, you ready for a good time?
6
SPEAKER_01
Because if you like this, I got so much more to come that you re going to die.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
You got to grab their attention, especially in this day and age.
6
SPEAKER_00
I mean, you got to come out of the gate.
6
SPEAKER_00
Dick out.
6
SPEAKER_00
Dick out.
6
SPEAKER_00
Seconds away from spraying.
6
SPEAKER_01
To get anyone to listen to an hour of anything at this point is hard.
6
SPEAKER_01
It is.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then there s like, when do I end?
6
SPEAKER_01
When do you get off stage?
6
SPEAKER_01
The whole adage of leaving with them wanting more.
6
SPEAKER_01
But if it s 50 minutes in and you start to see, oh, wow.
6
SPEAKER_01
A lot of people going to the bathroom.
6
SPEAKER_01
A lot of yawns.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you want to maintain, OK, maybe I should put this chunk here.
6
SPEAKER_01
So you got to go out and practice it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Well, let me jump to, I should have said this at the beginning, but currently you re an American record holder.
6
SPEAKER_00
Your run at Madison Square Gardens was a record-setting event.
6
SPEAKER_00
Your one that you re doing this year, which is you re doing five shows sold out of it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
You re at the apex of this art form.
6
SPEAKER_00
You don t want to hear that compliment, but let s just move on.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s nice to hear, but go ahead.
6
SPEAKER_00
And you re 30 years into being out here.
6
SPEAKER_00
When did the rocket ship start?
6
SPEAKER_01
It started in 2014, 15.
6
SPEAKER_01
I just started to feel like at the comedy clubs, I come back and they re like, you want to add a show?
6
SPEAKER_01
I m like, add a show?
6
SPEAKER_01
I remember two years ago on a Thursday night, we were like, do you want to cancel the show?
6
SPEAKER_01
You know?
6
SPEAKER_00
All right, so yeah, I started to feel momentum I d imagine to what must also change is your publicity commitment like when you were on the road I would imagine there was a period where you had to go to every radio station in town and try to sell seats And now you re showing up.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s like you re debating whether to add a second or a third show.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s a pretty significant
6
SPEAKER_00
evolution in the experience.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then even presented with, okay, I think we should go to theaters now.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, theaters?
6
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if I could sell 3,000 seats.
6
SPEAKER_01
Even though I sold 3,000 seats at the comedy club for the week.
6
SPEAKER_01
Theaters?
6
SPEAKER_01
Again, it s a business.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay, that s more money to rent the theater out.
6
SPEAKER_01
Now we got ushers.
6
SPEAKER_01
Now we got a lighting guy, a sound guy.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then that s starting to factor into everything.
6
SPEAKER_01
You make that jump.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay, we re doing theaters.
6
SPEAKER_01
Now we re adding theaters.
6
SPEAKER_00
If you re doing theaters and you re doing, I don t know, however many dates, you re now making a fucking living.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
6
SPEAKER_00
You re making a living doing comedy clubs.
6
SPEAKER_00
Sure.
6
SPEAKER_00
But now you re gonna buy a house and stuff.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s a big ratchet up.
6
SPEAKER_00
You re making a hundred grand a night, potentially, everywhere you go.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s huge.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s big.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s tempting to stay there, no?
6
SPEAKER_00
Because you know the show works at that size.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s damn good money.
6
SPEAKER_00
The venues are gorgeous.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s a comfortable life.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but then you run this risk.
6
SPEAKER_01
If you re in theaters, right?
6
SPEAKER_01
Let s say you re going to Cleveland, Ohio on Friday.
6
SPEAKER_01
And they said, you sold out 3,000.
6
SPEAKER_01
I think we could do a Saturday.
6
SPEAKER_01
OK, I ll book a Saturday.
6
SPEAKER_01
Saturday sold out as soon as we put it on.
6
SPEAKER_01
I think we do a Sunday.
6
SPEAKER_01
We ll put that on sale, too.
6
SPEAKER_01
That sells out, right?
6
SPEAKER_01
The next time you go to Cleveland, they say, you know what?
6
SPEAKER_01
Forget the theater.
6
SPEAKER_01
You do one night in an arena, and then you could go to Detroit the next night in an arena.
6
SPEAKER_01
You re tripling your time, in a sense.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s like, let s consolidate the crowd in one thing, and we can do more.
6
SPEAKER_01
Now this is where we get into the whole, how much is enough, right?
6
SPEAKER_01
How much you gonna do?
6
SPEAKER_00
Well, also, I wonder if you re evaluating because even in our limited experience for us at a two to 3000 seat theater, it s golden.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s a great experience.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s still quite intimate.
6
SPEAKER_00
We go to this place in San Francisco is like 5,000.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m like, we need a monster truck show in here.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like this place is fucking too big.
6
SPEAKER_00
Even Chicago theater as a big theater, it works.
6
SPEAKER_00
But you re also, I imagine, you re evaluating how enjoyable will the show be as I scale up?
6
SPEAKER_00
Absolutely.
6
SPEAKER_00
And you have an integrity and commitment to the people that come spend money and get a babysitter.
6
SPEAKER_00
So that s in the mix too, no?
6
SPEAKER_00
Absolutely.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think about that all the time.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m like, is comedy really supposed to be in a basketball arena?
6
SPEAKER_00
At this scale, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
But then you go, OK, what kind of production are we going to bring in here to kind of offset the fact that we re in a 20,000 seat arena?
6
SPEAKER_01
How big are the screens going to be?
6
SPEAKER_01
You go in a theater, I don t know if you guys use screens, but you put two screens on the side of you.
6
SPEAKER_01
Changes everything.
6
SPEAKER_01
For me, it does because half of my act is expressions and movement.
6
SPEAKER_01
They ain t going to get that up there in JJJ 317.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then you get people looking at the screens, not even you.
6
SPEAKER_01
So you get somebody in the second row, and you re right there, and they re looking right at the screen.
6
SPEAKER_01
which could take focus and energy off the center of the performance.
6
SPEAKER_01
So you gotta like kind of factor all these things in as you grow and get into these bigger venues.
6
SPEAKER_01
And you say breaking records, listen, this arena thing now is almost commonplace.
6
SPEAKER_01
Everybody s, not everybody, but a lot more people are doing arenas now.
6
SPEAKER_00
Let s be honest, there s probably eight people.
6
SPEAKER_00
This is perfect timing because I had never seen stand-up in an arena, and I did on Friday in Austin.
6
SPEAKER_00
I saw Andrew Schultz for the first time.
6
SPEAKER_00
At the Moody Center?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think McConaughey told me maybe that was like $14,000 or something like that.
6
SPEAKER_00
So how was it?
6
SPEAKER_00
It was great!
6
SPEAKER_00
Two huge screens, and I m in a suite with a dude, so we re pretty far away, and I absolutely loved it.
6
SPEAKER_00
I mean, he also I think is phenomenal.
6
SPEAKER_00
I do think there s a talent level required to perform in that big of a room.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think you gotta be really high energy and really confident and be physical.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think there s some stuff that has to go along with it.
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t know that Cosby could have sat down on his stool and done it in an arena.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I think in an arena, there s a certain comedian that plays well in there.
6
SPEAKER_01
Just gotta fill the room.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert.
6
SPEAKER_00
Do you remember your very first arena show?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it was in Philadelphia at the Wells Fargo Center.
6
SPEAKER_01
Or was it Toronto?
6
SPEAKER_01
One of the two.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s a blur.
6
SPEAKER_00
Sorry Toronto and sorry Philadelphia.
6
SPEAKER_01
No, you don t remember is the answer.
6
SPEAKER_01
My apologies.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think we had a... We had a... I had a chili dog.
6
SPEAKER_00
Where would I have eaten a chili dog before this show?
6
SPEAKER_00
I had a kabuki.
6
SPEAKER_00
You don t want a kabuki?
6
SPEAKER_01
Is that one of those cookies with the ice cream?
6
SPEAKER_00
No, it s when, I think in, go ahead.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s a bad sexual term.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, it is?
6
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no, no, no.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s a scrim that comes down over the stage.
6
SPEAKER_01
So it was in the round and it was like a cylinder sheet.
6
SPEAKER_01
Silk.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that covers the whole stage.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m thinking, okay, Michael Jackson s a huge inspiration for me.
6
SPEAKER_00
I want to go see him in concert.
6
SPEAKER_00
Look at this guy.
6
SPEAKER_00
All the molestings.
6
SPEAKER_00
He said, how do you not believe in Christmas?
6
SPEAKER_00
Told his children, I am Bubbles.
6
SPEAKER_00
Santa was here.
6
SPEAKER_00
No, I love Michael Jackson too.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m looking at the performance.
6
SPEAKER_00
Of course, of course.
6
SPEAKER_01
So I m like, I want to put some production into this.
6
SPEAKER_01
So I did a thing where up on the scrim,
7
SPEAKER_03
You would see me climbing up this ladder and I would fall off and you would say, oh my God, he s in there, right?
7
SPEAKER_03
He s in there.
7
SPEAKER_03
And then the kabuki would drop and then I would be kind of just there on the center of the stage.
7
SPEAKER_03
Just to give this some feeling like we re at a show.
7
SPEAKER_03
This is show business, right?
7
SPEAKER_03
Of course.
7
SPEAKER_03
And I m sorry, a lot of this shit that s out there right now, it s not like you re putting on a show.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yes!
7
SPEAKER_03
In an arena.
7
SPEAKER_03
And to Schultz s credit, you go to his show.
7
SPEAKER_03
I haven t been to it, but I ve seen it online.
7
SPEAKER_03
He s got lights.
7
SPEAKER_01
He s a gangster, comes out to hip-hop.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s a vibe.
7
SPEAKER_01
Produced.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yes, it s produced.
7
SPEAKER_03
Put some thought into this shit.
7
SPEAKER_03
So I just want to give the people their money s worth.
7
SPEAKER_03
Now that I think about it, it was in Philadelphia.
7
SPEAKER_01
You had just had a beautiful Philly cheesesteak.
7
SPEAKER_01
A little too much.
7
SPEAKER_01
You re up on that ladder.
7
SPEAKER_01
You re like, oh, onions.
7
SPEAKER_01
Shouldn t have got pepper.
7
SPEAKER_01
Shouldn t have got peppers.
7
SPEAKER_01
None of that.
7
SPEAKER_01
None of that bullshit.
7
SPEAKER_01
Rocky statue.
7
SPEAKER_03
That s where I went prior to the show.
7
SPEAKER_03
Did you?
7
SPEAKER_03
Took a knee.
7
SPEAKER_03
Say a couple prayers.
7
SPEAKER_03
Took homage.
7
SPEAKER_00
That must ve been so surreal, though.
7
SPEAKER_03
It was surreal, but the whole thing now, to your point in regards to, hey, is this sustainable?
7
SPEAKER_03
When do you put the tickets in for Madison Square Garden and they tell you one show is 30% sold?
7
SPEAKER_03
Right.
7
SPEAKER_03
You know what I m saying?
7
SPEAKER_03
That s always a fear in the back of your head.
7
SPEAKER_01
Well, look, I think, and we ve been talking about this ad nauseum, probably makes the listeners so sick of it, but what is a very interesting and very privileged
7
SPEAKER_01
experience is to go from trying to get something and then trying to hold on to something.
7
SPEAKER_01
And it s a very precarious and weird mental space.
7
SPEAKER_01
Building is you get it.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, let s sell those shows out.
7
SPEAKER_01
Okay, great.
7
SPEAKER_01
If we do this third, we could do an arena.
7
SPEAKER_01
Now it just switches to like, okay, now I don t want to lose it, but I don t have a game plan on how to not lose it.
7
SPEAKER_01
I have a game plan how to
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, it could be compared to you build a beautiful house, right?
7
SPEAKER_03
But then there s stuff gonna go wrong with the house Are you gonna leave the grass grow?
7
SPEAKER_03
Are you gonna let the gutters rust?
7
SPEAKER_03
You got to maintain it, right?
7
SPEAKER_03
So if you pay attention to it and you nurture it and for your podcast, right?
7
SPEAKER_03
I m sure you pine over and I don t know maybe you don t but just listen to you say that okay We had this guest and we had a dip on and then are we gonna come back next week?
7
SPEAKER_03
Where are we in the rankings?
7
SPEAKER_00
How do we keep this at the level?
7
SPEAKER_01
I love this.
7
SPEAKER_01
I want to keep this, but I don t have any experience.
7
SPEAKER_01
I have 29 years of experience trying to build shit.
7
SPEAKER_01
So now that it s built.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, exactly.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s an interesting transition, and I have a sense if we don t navigate it correctly and with a lot of thoughtfulness, we will lose it.
7
SPEAKER_01
So is it harder to build or maintain?
7
SPEAKER_01
Thus far, harder mentally to maintain.
7
SPEAKER_00
Mentally.
7
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I think the truth is it s harder to build and gain success.
7
SPEAKER_00
I mean, that s what most people would tell you.
7
SPEAKER_00
99.9% of people who don t have the thing would say that, but it s just a weird position to be in where you got there.
7
SPEAKER_01
You love what you have.
7
SPEAKER_00
And you like it.
7
SPEAKER_00
And then it s like, oh fuck, I don t want it to go away.
7
SPEAKER_00
And it could at any moment.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s scary.
7
SPEAKER_01
This stuff s all gross to talk about out loud, but I like that we re doing it.
7
SPEAKER_03
I thought the building was the best part of it.
7
SPEAKER_03
Going back to Gotham Comedy Club and taking pictures with the fans outside and signing DVDs and like, oh, you re from this?
7
SPEAKER_03
I wasn t even thinking about, are these people gonna come back next time?
7
SPEAKER_01
You were taking it for what it was in the moment.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_03
I wish I had that same mentality to maintain it.
7
SPEAKER_03
It seems to be a lot more stressful now than it was 10 years ago, right?
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_03
But you would think it would be
7
SPEAKER_00
But is that just revisionist history?
7
SPEAKER_00
It s kind of hard to really think back to how it felt then.
7
SPEAKER_00
Because I m sure it was stressful then, too.
7
SPEAKER_00
I think we forget some of that.
7
SPEAKER_01
I agree with you.
7
SPEAKER_01
But also, I have said many times in here, the highlight for me was the Sunday company at the Groundlings.
7
SPEAKER_01
The fact that I went out on stage on Sunday nights, and the place was sold out, and I was doing the fucking thing I had come to California to do, and people were laughing, and people wanted to meet me in the lobby afterwards, that was incomprehensible.
7
SPEAKER_00
But again, you were an alcoholic who was worried that you were failing all the time.
7
SPEAKER_00
you are deciding to take that piece out when you recall it.
7
SPEAKER_00
And that s all I m saying.
7
SPEAKER_01
You were smoking crack in Ghost Town in Venice also, by the way.
7
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it s a fair, like, we just remember things with a very... You were fucking strangers, hoping that would make you feel good.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you were.
7
SPEAKER_00
But I agree with you, there s something to the process of building that s very fulfilling.
7
SPEAKER_01
There is, and maybe there s another way to look at it too.
7
SPEAKER_01
A weird analogy would be, I m sitting on a beach over Christmas at a hotel I have no business being at, and it s the dream, and I m there, and I did it.
7
SPEAKER_01
I m looking around and I cannot help but notice my trips to the holiday and express people were having much more fun because they still had all this stuff they could look forward to.
7
SPEAKER_01
They could sit there and they could dream of this.
7
SPEAKER_01
And maybe this time we ll do the people I was looking around.
7
SPEAKER_01
I was like, they all got here.
7
SPEAKER_01
We re here.
7
SPEAKER_01
There s no place left.
7
SPEAKER_01
And this isn t that much fun.
7
SPEAKER_01
And now, not only is it not that much fun, I ve robbed myself of hope and daydreaming in a weird way, because this is it.
7
SPEAKER_01
And there s some weird sadness.
7
SPEAKER_01
It made me think, of course Elon Musk and Bezos are going to Mars.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s literally the only thing left they can t do.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s a good point.
7
SPEAKER_01
If you and I are sitting at the hotel pool and we go like, wouldn t it be titties to have an island and some offshore race boats?
7
SPEAKER_01
We don t have that.
7
SPEAKER_01
We re going to have to do some tricks to get that.
7
SPEAKER_01
And we can fantasize about you and I, Miami Vice style on a race.
7
SPEAKER_01
You know, it could be a whole thing.
7
SPEAKER_01
If Elon and Bezos are sitting there and they re like, we should get, yeah, in two hours we could have that.
7
SPEAKER_03
But you know what?
7
SPEAKER_03
Are those things really?
7
SPEAKER_03
They re not that fun.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_03
But if you re at the hotel, right?
7
SPEAKER_03
And you re looking around going, no one else is having fun.
7
SPEAKER_03
But if you re there with your family and your kids and you re having a blast, what else matters, right?
7
SPEAKER_03
It doesn t matter.
7
SPEAKER_03
And I had a great trip, but I just could feel it.
7
SPEAKER_03
There is a, oh, we have to act a certain way now.
7
SPEAKER_03
Everybody s quiet.
7
SPEAKER_03
And then you go up to somebody and no one s doing cannonballs like they re doing at the Radisson Inn on Beltway.
7
SPEAKER_01
No one s swimsuit failed them.
7
SPEAKER_01
Everyone s got a pretty new suit.
7
SPEAKER_02
But a fight could break out at the Holiday Inn Express and you get accidentally stabbed.
7
SPEAKER_02
So you take the no fun five star hotel and stuff.
7
SPEAKER_00
He s including the stabbing as the fun part.
7
SPEAKER_00
You like that.
7
SPEAKER_00
You want that.
7
SPEAKER_01
I would have loved it if there was a stabbing at the Four Seasons in Mexico.
7
SPEAKER_01
I would have been first on the scene.
7
SPEAKER_01
Okay, really quick.
7
SPEAKER_01
We already touched on it.
7
SPEAKER_01
I want to know, do you have gratitude for this?
7
SPEAKER_01
A lot of the stuff you re now getting to do at 50 is the stuff a lot of stand-ups would have been doing at 29.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I think there s a lot of good that comes with that, and there s probably some shit I m not thinking about that s challenging about that.
7
SPEAKER_01
But now you got a sitcom.
7
SPEAKER_01
Now you re in movies.
7
SPEAKER_01
You got to make a movie where De Niro played your fucking dad.
7
SPEAKER_01
In some weird way, I d imagine it s a blessing.
7
SPEAKER_01
I ve even had a blessing that it didn t happen for me until 29.
7
SPEAKER_01
If I wasn t punked at 21, I would have been dead.
7
SPEAKER_01
There s no question.
7
SPEAKER_01
And you start on this other chapter in your entertainment life, already having kids, having some foundation, having all this stuff.
7
SPEAKER_01
What is your thoughts about getting all these dreams later?
7
SPEAKER_03
I couldn t have done what I m doing now as far as the bookie or being in movies when I was 25, 30, 35.
7
SPEAKER_03
I didn t have the confidence.
7
SPEAKER_03
Now I m confident.
7
SPEAKER_03
I could go up to Chuck Lorre now and go, I m not feeling it.
7
SPEAKER_03
And maybe when I was 29, I would have not said anything.
7
SPEAKER_03
I don t want to rock the boat or I m just happy to be here.
7
SPEAKER_03
And over the years, it s given me confidence to speak up for myself and trust my instincts.
7
SPEAKER_03
Sometimes I would have great instincts, but wouldn t react on them because I felt like, oh, that s not what they want.
7
SPEAKER_03
And it took me a little bit to learn that.
7
SPEAKER_03
And now I m 50 and I m getting an opportunity to be on a TV show.
7
SPEAKER_03
You re right.
7
SPEAKER_03
Friends and Seinfeld mid-30s got this opportunity.
7
SPEAKER_03
Ray Romano.
7
SPEAKER_03
So I needed those years to build my confidence.
7
SPEAKER_01
By the way, it kind of explains potentially why the collaboration wasn t fun at Second City, which is you were likely to get gobbled up.
7
SPEAKER_03
You re right.
7
SPEAKER_03
It took me a while.
7
SPEAKER_03
I needed to go out there and earn my confidence.
7
SPEAKER_03
And meeting my wife 15 years ago, having a family later on in life, there s some pros and cons to that.
7
SPEAKER_03
I often look at my age and I look at my kid s age and go, oof, man, I got a six-year-old and a four-year-old.
7
SPEAKER_03
I m 50, right?
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_03
My dad was 50 when I moved out to California.
7
SPEAKER_03
Sometimes I compare the life I had growing up and the life I m living now and wishing, oh, man, I really like my childhood.
7
SPEAKER_03
I wish my kids could have that same experience.
7
SPEAKER_03
But they don t.
7
SPEAKER_03
So how do you adjust to that?
7
SPEAKER_03
I m able to do that now at 50, and I wouldn t be able to do that if I had kids at 30.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yes, I m sure you and I wrestle with the same thing, which is I need them to grow up the way I did.
7
SPEAKER_01
It scares me.
7
SPEAKER_01
No, it should.
7
SPEAKER_01
I don t want my kids to assume that they will have a swimming pool at their house.
7
SPEAKER_03
Well, I think you want already because you know that there s some people that give the kid the swimming pool and they don t let them know, hey, not everybody s got it.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_03
And every party you go to, they re going to have what we have.
7
SPEAKER_03
And that doesn t make those people any less than us beat it into their heads.
7
SPEAKER_00
But circling back to Santa, because we should keep talking about that.
7
SPEAKER_03
All roads lead back to Santa.
7
SPEAKER_00
That s what I actually think is the most problematic
8
SPEAKER_00
thing about Santa is that if everyone s good yeah if Santa s real why are kids that don t have as much money getting fewer presents and why did Santa bring me ponies and you Jordans exactly you know what
8
SPEAKER_00
You re like, I already said.
8
SPEAKER_01
Does Santa think, I think we ve covered it, that you have some valid arguments?
8
SPEAKER_00
It s just another one I m piling off.
8
SPEAKER_01
Just trying to keep the dream alive over at the Maniscalco.
8
SPEAKER_02
Explain to your daughter, White, Santa spent $6,000 on her Christmas.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and then that boy got... Two scratchers.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
For a comedy bit, I like that whole mindset.
8
SPEAKER_01
But I don t think any other kid, other than yours, can figure this out.
8
SPEAKER_01
Some kids are just like, you got what?
8
SPEAKER_01
I got this.
8
SPEAKER_01
And they don t equate.
8
SPEAKER_01
Except for your kids.
8
SPEAKER_01
Your kids are on another level when it comes to this.
8
SPEAKER_02
You got a book?
8
SPEAKER_02
Cool.
8
SPEAKER_02
I got a Power Wheels.
8
SPEAKER_00
Well, when they tell you it s naughty and nice and stuff, it s like, I guess I was naughty.
8
SPEAKER_00
I guess he was just naughty.
8
SPEAKER_00
He got a book.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and really he s just bored.
8
SPEAKER_02
Mike got a fucking book.
8
SPEAKER_02
I don t know what he did this year, but I do know this.
8
SPEAKER_02
Santa brought him a book.
8
SPEAKER_02
Guys, listen.
8
SPEAKER_02
I don t know what Santa ever did to you.
8
SPEAKER_02
Will you please, will you flesh this out?
8
SPEAKER_02
I hope to God I see you do stand up one day and somehow this is all fleshed out.
8
SPEAKER_01
This is in.
8
SPEAKER_01
There s something here.
8
SPEAKER_01
Something s here.
8
SPEAKER_02
There s something sticky about this, isn t there?
8
SPEAKER_01
That argument, I will make the complete opposite of my argument, because I m going to make you guys look like the enemy.
8
SPEAKER_00
Okay, sure.
8
SPEAKER_01
You have to.
8
SPEAKER_01
You re the hero of your stand-up routine.
8
SPEAKER_01
And then the audience is going to go, yeah, those people.
8
SPEAKER_01
Hollywood.
8
SPEAKER_00
Liberal.
8
SPEAKER_02
The last thing I want to get your opinion on, at the risk of Monica and I getting a little heated here.
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh, no.
8
SPEAKER_02
You have to be observant.
8
SPEAKER_02
As someone who watched stand-up like crazy as a kid, then got into comedy, did sketch comedy, tracked everything that happened on Saturday Night Live, tracked everything that was, like, I ve been following it.
8
SPEAKER_02
We re at an interesting point in comedy.
8
SPEAKER_02
And I think probably Bill Burr and Chappelle being the kind of vanguard of it, coupled with this movement of wokeness and a pushback to wokeness, comedy is seeming more and more relevant at this moment.
8
SPEAKER_02
Do you feel that?
8
SPEAKER_01
I think people are turning to comedy for the unfiltered truth of it all.
8
SPEAKER_02
The original thing comedy did, which was bring truth to power or to challenge the status quo or to disrupt, even the jester, its inception was this goofball that would go in front of the king and have the ability to make fun of the king and no one else could.
8
SPEAKER_02
But he was so funny at doing it that they were able to bring truth to power.
8
SPEAKER_02
And I can t help but observe that there s this big swell of America going, we need y all s voice right now.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
I think people getting offended whatnot are just a very small group of people.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m speaking from my own experience when I go on the road.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m seeing it firsthand that the jokes that seem to hit the hardest are the jokes that tend to kind of push back against.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s not even pushing back.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s like you used to just make fun of everything.
8
SPEAKER_01
But then now all of a sudden we have these parameters of what you can and cannot joke about.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I don t do a lot of jokes that are cultural.
8
SPEAKER_01
Mine s like family.
8
SPEAKER_01
I went to Universal Studios with my kids.
8
SPEAKER_01
I just feel like people are dying to laugh at the absurdities of life.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
And all of us that are here.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I don t feel like it s as big of a problem as it might be presented.
8
SPEAKER_02
It is misleading by virtue of where you live.
8
SPEAKER_02
We live here.
8
SPEAKER_02
I m ultra aware of all the stuff.
8
SPEAKER_02
But then, yeah, I m down somewhere else and I m like, oh, right, that s not even a thing here.
8
SPEAKER_02
No one s even talking about this.
8
SPEAKER_01
Definitely misleading, even when you re on this podcast.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m sure you re like, hmm, should we air that one?
8
SPEAKER_01
That could be a... Cancelable offense.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
And before it was just like, oh, that was funny.
8
SPEAKER_01
And now all of a sudden you got to be a little bit more cautious about what you put out there.
8
SPEAKER_02
And if I m being fair, a lot of the comedy was just mean and
8
SPEAKER_02
superior, there was a spirit to some of it.
8
SPEAKER_02
This pendulum has swung all these different ways, but I do think it s landed with a handful of people I really like right now.
8
SPEAKER_02
The intention s right, the spirit s right, the heart s right, and we re gonna fucking laugh at every one of our neighbors together, because that s what we do.
8
SPEAKER_02
So I think it evolved, like, I ll watch some of the stuff, I m like, I m glad that s gone.
8
SPEAKER_02
That kind of was mean.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I mean, there is mean-spirited comedy, and you could feel it almost.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
And it just, it s a gut.
8
SPEAKER_01
But you don t go online and, hey, this is a mean thing.
8
SPEAKER_01
You know, it s like, all right, that was mean.
8
SPEAKER_01
All right, maybe that thing.
8
SPEAKER_02
I m going to see this person again.
8
SPEAKER_02
Wasn t that funny?
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
But I ve always looked at it as, hey, I m making fun of life in general and all of us, and we all could laugh together about being 50 and wearing Jordans or whatever it might be.
8
SPEAKER_01
I just feel like we got to just loosen up a little bit.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s all.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_02
I also think like the comedians are letting us know like, hey, we can also have some fun again.
8
SPEAKER_02
We ve got a lot of correction to do, but also, hey, this is a pretty fun place, planet Earth.
8
SPEAKER_02
This country, flawed as it is, pretty great one.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s OK to have some fun still.
8
SPEAKER_02
We can laugh and have a good time.
8
SPEAKER_02
We don t have to be crying all the time.
8
SPEAKER_01
Why was this a point of contention between you two?
8
SPEAKER_01
You said, oh, we re probably going to get in an argument.
8
SPEAKER_02
Well, just yesterday we were debating one of these comedians and navigating the very legitimate fact that it s different for Monica than it is for me.
8
SPEAKER_00
My issue sometimes with certain comedy, I don t think it s the comedian.
8
SPEAKER_00
I think generally the comedian s smart and has a fun take and a funny take, depending.
8
SPEAKER_00
But if they do, I worry about the people in the audience who don t get that it s making fun of all of us.
8
SPEAKER_00
They hear the eyes joke.
8
SPEAKER_02
I sent her the Schultz thing where he s in Taiwan.
8
SPEAKER_02
This is why it works for me.
8
SPEAKER_02
The audience is thousands of Taiwanese.
8
SPEAKER_00
When you said that, I was like, are you sure they re in Taiwan?
8
SPEAKER_00
There was a lot of people.
8
SPEAKER_00
No, he s in Taiwan.
8
SPEAKER_02
He said, listen, I m here in Taiwan, and you realize if you guys get invaded by China, that s going to be us and the Australians.
8
SPEAKER_00
Also, that was so funny.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m not saying he s not being funny, but when he makes the joke about open up your eyes, if the Taiwanese people are laughing, great.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s the white person who is racist who laughs
8
SPEAKER_00
They re like, see, they do have closed, their eyes don t open, see?
8
SPEAKER_00
It s that that I feel is a line to toe.
8
SPEAKER_01
That person, regardless of what the comedian says, is going to probably hear that from
8
SPEAKER_00
They already think it.
8
SPEAKER_02
That was my exact retort was simply that joke didn t make that person that way.
8
SPEAKER_02
That person was that way and they re in search of all kinds of reasons to continue to think that way.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s like kind of my defensive stern if we even take it out of any wokeness and just go back to the 90s and go like, yeah, a lot of people weren t in on the joke.
8
SPEAKER_02
I think that person s not in on any joke they hear.
8
SPEAKER_02
You know, or they re just out there trying to gather some arsenal of shitty things to say to other people.
8
SPEAKER_02
And I don t know how we account for those people.
8
SPEAKER_02
I don t know that it s our responsibility to.
8
SPEAKER_01
I get what you re saying.
8
SPEAKER_01
You re saying, oh, like, you re fueling the idiots.
8
SPEAKER_00
It can.
8
SPEAKER_00
I mean, obviously, I come here with a much different perspective on those jokes.
8
SPEAKER_00
Plenty of jokes have been used against me in life that when I see it on stage, I can t laugh at it when it was used to, like, punch me.
8
SPEAKER_02
I do recognize Monica
8
SPEAKER_02
in junior high where the only Indian person on TV is Abu, and then every kid in school is calling you Abu and stuff.
8
SPEAKER_01
Like, yeah, that fucking blows.
8
SPEAKER_01
I do the joke about Indians being smart, right?
8
SPEAKER_01
Generally engineers and what have you.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s a good generalization, yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s a safe one.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s pretty safe.
8
SPEAKER_01
Well, even people get bent out of shape, even me mentioning.
8
SPEAKER_01
That they over-index in engineering.
8
SPEAKER_01
Well, in school, Indians were the smartest kids in the school.
8
SPEAKER_01
Uh-huh.
8
SPEAKER_01
Them and the Japanese.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s the way it was.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
Namisha Patel was the smartest kid in my class.
8
SPEAKER_01
So, when I make reference to that, I get sometimes Indians do other things other than engineering.
8
SPEAKER_01
Okay, but their people are going to... Jesus Christ, what are we going to do?
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
I agree with you.
8
SPEAKER_00
That s not offensive though.
8
SPEAKER_00
But people will find offense anywhere.
8
SPEAKER_00
I agree.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I get sometimes annoyed here because I don t want to get lumped in with that person.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m not that person.
8
SPEAKER_00
But I am a person if you say like, shit, I mean not you, but something about brown skin being shit colored.
8
SPEAKER_00
For one, I just don t think it s
8
SPEAKER_00
smart comedy, like there s just a lot of bad comedy that s not smart, and then those were actual things used against these minority groups.
8
SPEAKER_00
Being smart wasn t.
8
SPEAKER_01
What you just said, the shit, it s not funny, it s mean-spirited, that type of stuff, like, you don t laugh at.
8
SPEAKER_00
But some people laugh at it.
8
SPEAKER_01
People are going to talk that way.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s a shame.
8
SPEAKER_01
You don t like to see it.
8
SPEAKER_01
It hurts.
8
SPEAKER_01
I get it.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m just saying, I wouldn t concentrate on it.
8
SPEAKER_00
I don t think I actually do.
8
SPEAKER_00
She doesn t, and now I feel bad that I even positioned.
8
SPEAKER_00
Only when I get roped in in these conversations.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
8
SPEAKER_02
My apologies.
8
SPEAKER_02
I don t mean to position you and I on opposite ends of any spectrum.
8
SPEAKER_02
Cut it out.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, get it all.
8
SPEAKER_02
Snip, snip, snip, snip.
8
SPEAKER_02
Keep it clean.
8
SPEAKER_02
Anywho, I guess in summation, I just think it s a really interesting moment in comedy.
8
SPEAKER_02
I think it s the best time to be a comedian, to be honest with you.
8
SPEAKER_02
People more now than ever need to laugh.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s why you see a lot of people selling out arenas.
9
SPEAKER_01
and theaters, comedy is flourishing.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so there s a good question.
9
SPEAKER_01
So you first sold out The Garden four nights in a row in 2019.
9
SPEAKER_01
And so we re five years beyond that.
9
SPEAKER_01
And when you were doing it, it was kind of a novelty.
9
SPEAKER_01
And so I think there s a really clean parallel between this show and that, which is we ve been doing it for six and a half years.
9
SPEAKER_01
In the last three years, a whole bunch of folks entered the fray.
9
SPEAKER_01
A lot of people get millions of downloads.
9
SPEAKER_01
Does it scare you or encourage you?
9
SPEAKER_01
I can see it going either way.
9
SPEAKER_01
It makes me question my relevance, my popularity.
9
SPEAKER_00
Where am I in this whole thing?
9
SPEAKER_00
Am I ascending or descending?
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, we ll see.
9
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I got a big tour coming up in July and we ll see, you know, how the tickets sell in the hot markets.
9
SPEAKER_00
They re great.
9
SPEAKER_00
You know, Philadelphia, Boston, Chicago, New York City, Toronto, but you know, I go to Norfolk, Virginia, we re going to have to get on the horse and start selling tickets.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s all stressful.
9
SPEAKER_00
You look at the blue dots.
9
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if you guys do blue dots on Ticketmaster.
9
SPEAKER_00
You don t look at blue dots.
9
SPEAKER_00
Tell me how blue dots work.
9
SPEAKER_00
So when you go and you re doing a theater to see how you re doing, you go on Ticketmaster and there s a map of the seats.
9
SPEAKER_00
And blue dots are seats that are not sold.
9
SPEAKER_00
Not sold.
9
SPEAKER_00
Actually, John Mayer and I have talked about this.
9
SPEAKER_00
He s a blue dot guy.
9
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_00
going to see how your tickets are selling.
9
SPEAKER_00
And if you see a sea of blue dots, you know, your hair starts falling out on the keyboard.
9
SPEAKER_00
So Kevin Hart comes out, he s doing theaters for his next theaters.
9
SPEAKER_00
This guy s an arena act going to theaters now.
9
SPEAKER_00
So I m thinking, he is Kevin Hart, the biggest comedian in the world.
9
SPEAKER_00
He s doing theaters.
9
SPEAKER_00
The hell am I doing in North Fork, Virginia, trying to sell out an arena?
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s really heady.
9
SPEAKER_01
Hop on the hamster wheel and start sprinting.
9
SPEAKER_00
That s why, you know, in 2025,
9
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna retire and just hang out at school events and see my kids  gala.
9
SPEAKER_01
Fundraisers.
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you must be the first stop.
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah, no.
9
SPEAKER_00
You must get called six times a week.
9
SPEAKER_01
I m doing the gala in three weeks.
9
SPEAKER_01
So your current tour that people can buy tickets to is Ain t It Right Tour.
9
SPEAKER_01
And you re going to be in L.A.
9
SPEAKER_01
August 17th.
9
SPEAKER_01
Where are you at in L.A.?
9
SPEAKER_01
At this new Intuit Dome.
9
SPEAKER_00
So Bruno Mars opens it up Thursday and Friday and I come in Saturday.
9
SPEAKER_00
So I took a tour of the dome.
9
SPEAKER_00
Where s it at?
9
SPEAKER_00
It s right next to SoFi.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, it is?
9
SPEAKER_00
State of the art.
9
SPEAKER_00
Gorgeous.
9
SPEAKER_00
Gorgeous.
9
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it s designed for basketball.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s going to be the home of the Los Angeles Clippers.
9
SPEAKER_00
Steve Ballmer owns not only the team, but the building.
9
SPEAKER_00
And he took me through a tour.
9
SPEAKER_00
He s a rad dude.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you met him?
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
And he s from Michigan.
9
SPEAKER_00
He s a big personality.
9
SPEAKER_00
He took me through the bathrooms.
9
SPEAKER_00
No mirrors in the bathroom.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh.
9
SPEAKER_00
You don t want people looking at themselves because it takes away from cheering for the team.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, wow.
9
SPEAKER_00
So the whole objective of this stadium is to keep people in their seats.
9
SPEAKER_00
The concession stands all face recognition.
9
SPEAKER_00
You don t have to take out a wallet or anything like that.
9
SPEAKER_01
The toilet seats have spikes on them so no one wants to sit too long.
9
SPEAKER_00
No toilets.
9
SPEAKER_00
So it s a pretty spectacular place, so I m looking forward to playing it.
9
SPEAKER_01
And how many cities will you do on the Ain t It Right Tour?
9
SPEAKER_00
I think it s 94 shows over the course of nine months.
9
SPEAKER_00
So it s my biggest tour ever.
9
SPEAKER_00
What does that work out to, like two a week-ish?
9
SPEAKER_00
It s one week on, one week off, maybe two weeks on, two weeks off.
9
SPEAKER_00
So generally speaking, I ll go out for about three or four nights, come home, and then maybe have a week off.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s not like I m going to be on a bus for nine months like Motley Crue in the 80s.
9
SPEAKER_02
You can borrow it, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
Do you want me to drive you to some shows, though?
9
SPEAKER_00
Can you drive me to and to it, though?
9
SPEAKER_02
Of course!
9
SPEAKER_01
Parking might be rough if you see the size of it, but I ll figure it out when we walk out.
9
SPEAKER_01
I pulled in.
9
SPEAKER_00
I was looking at the dirt buggy.
9
SPEAKER_01
Well, Sebastian, I m so glad I finally got to meet you.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, man.
9
SPEAKER_01
I think you re spectacular.
9
SPEAKER_01
I love everything I ve seen you do.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s so good.
9
SPEAKER_01
I m so happy for you.
9
SPEAKER_01
Also, it s a rad story for it to all come together.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, really cool.
9
SPEAKER_01
After just fucking battling.
9
SPEAKER_01
Four seasons.
9
SPEAKER_01
Four seasons, brother.
9
SPEAKER_01
What s the craziest thing you ever saw waiting tables there?
9
SPEAKER_00
I like to see what the celebrities tipped.
9
SPEAKER_00
So Shaq would come in Sunday by himself sometimes, come up in one of those cars that has a convertible, like 1950s car, order a fruit plate.
9
SPEAKER_02
What?
9
SPEAKER_00
With a coffee.
9
SPEAKER_00
Felt like I was serving a giant I had to bring out.
9
SPEAKER_00
Big spoon.
9
SPEAKER_00
Serving spoon.
9
SPEAKER_00
Serving spoon, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
He d just leave $100 under the plate every time.
9
SPEAKER_00
No check, no nothing.
9
SPEAKER_00
Just very, very generous.
9
SPEAKER_00
Sean Penn would come in as a regular and kind of be a little trepidatious about waiting on him just because... You re scared, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
Scared.
9
SPEAKER_02
Who knows?
9
SPEAKER_00
Tuna roll!
9
SPEAKER_00
So, for me, coming from the northwest suburbs of Chicago in 1998, next thing you know, I m waiting on Nicole Kidman.
9
SPEAKER_00
It was exciting.
9
SPEAKER_01
I would have loved that.
9
SPEAKER_01
Did you have to police yourself about putting on too good of a show for them?
9
SPEAKER_01
You must have wanted their approval.
9
SPEAKER_01
I would have been like,
9
SPEAKER_01
tap dancing every time I brought the fruit plate.
9
SPEAKER_00
The only guy I was like that with was Jerry Seinfeld, because I felt like he gave me the energy to be a little bit more open.
9
SPEAKER_00
A little more extra?
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
Four Seasons was very, you know, don t say anything.
9
SPEAKER_00
This is not casting.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
But with Jerry, I kind of goofed around with him, and we had a good exchange.
9
SPEAKER_00
I actually remembered it.
9
SPEAKER_00
I was going to say, because you re in his movie now that s coming out.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I m on Frosted.
9
SPEAKER_00
And I did Comedians in Cars with him, and I told him that I worked there.
9
SPEAKER_00
He goes, I remember you there.
9
SPEAKER_00
How cool.
9
SPEAKER_00
So yeah, it was a great place to work for seven years.
9
SPEAKER_01
Do you feel like you re in that party?
9
SPEAKER_00
The comedian party?
9
SPEAKER_00
I mean, getting to do comedians.
9
SPEAKER_00
In cars, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s like almost a Johnny Carson getting called over to the couch vibe.
9
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
9
SPEAKER_00
I feel like I m in that comedy community with stand-ups.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I feel like I m in the game.
9
SPEAKER_00
I feel like I m in that.
9
SPEAKER_00
Good.
9
SPEAKER_00
You are.
9
SPEAKER_00
Well, you are, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
You deserve that feeling.
9
SPEAKER_00
Well, thank you.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
And where do people go to get tickets?
9
SPEAKER_00
Sebastianlive.com is where you get your tickets for the tour, It Ain t Right, starting July 11th in Norfolk, Virginia.
9
SPEAKER_00
The aforementioned Norfolk, Virginia.
9
SPEAKER_00
A lot of blue dots.
9
SPEAKER_02
Let s clear out those blue dots.
9
SPEAKER_01
Red state blue dots.
9
SPEAKER_01
Well, Sebastian, this was awesome, man.
9
SPEAKER_01
Great meeting you.
9
SPEAKER_01
I appreciate you having me on.
9
SPEAKER_01
Take care.
9
SPEAKER_01
Stick around for the fact check.
9
SPEAKER_01
Because they re human, they make lots of mistakes.
9
SPEAKER_02
Update.
9
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_02
And behind the curtain.
9
SPEAKER_02
We recorded Thursday s fact check yesterday.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yes, we normally have a bigger gap.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, but a lot s happened in the last 24 hours.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yes, we re not out of material, as luck would have it.
9
SPEAKER_02
Exactly, the peel has started to really kick in.
9
SPEAKER_02
Now we have actual peeling.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yes, but again, and you likely won t believe me, you can t see it from across the room at all.
9
SPEAKER_01
I could only see it when we were standing in the very harsh sunlight on the stairs when you first came and said, oh no, it s begun.
9
SPEAKER_01
Because.
9
SPEAKER_01
What really, this is like a really sick, the universe was really, I don t know what lesson it s trying to teach you.
9
SPEAKER_02
That I don t deserve love.
9
SPEAKER_01
The day that the peeling started.
9
SPEAKER_01
and this is a very broad Easter egg, but two of the handsomest guests we ve ever had in one day.
9
SPEAKER_02
We had two very handsome men.
9
SPEAKER_01
Men guests.
9
SPEAKER_02
In the attic today.
9
SPEAKER_02
I knew that.
9
SPEAKER_02
I saw it, well, first of all, the second guest was added to the calendar later than,
9
SPEAKER_01
the original decision.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, or what, anyway, I saw on the calendar what this week looked like and I had to do the emoji that you hate.
9
SPEAKER_01
You had to say whatever.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I had to say whatever.
9
SPEAKER_02
Like, this is my life, this is me.
9
SPEAKER_01
Does the emoji stick their tongue out?
9
SPEAKER_01
Because when you do that emoji, you also stick your tongue out.
9
SPEAKER_01
I m not sure if that s part of the emoji.
9
SPEAKER_02
She doesn t, but she wants to.
9
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, it s probably good for me.
9
SPEAKER_02
Well, two things.
9
SPEAKER_02
One, neither of these men are eligible.
9
SPEAKER_01
They re both eligible.
9
SPEAKER_02
Is he married?
9
SPEAKER_01
Neither of them are married.
9
SPEAKER_02
I thought he was married, talked about his wife multiple times.
9
SPEAKER_01
They re both divorced.
9
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God.
9
SPEAKER_01
I guess it s good you re finding out now they were eligible.
9
SPEAKER_02
Maybe, can you just text him and tell him about my face?
9
SPEAKER_01
I was really, really on the fence.
9
SPEAKER_01
I was like, I know this person well enough and trust this person.
9
SPEAKER_01
I almost want to just get it out for you.
9
SPEAKER_01
Hey, Monnie s, uh, she had a peel and she s in, you re gorgeous.
9
SPEAKER_01
And like, I,
9
SPEAKER_01
But I was like, you know, in the past, whenever I wade into that area, I generally choose wrong.
9
SPEAKER_01
So I was like, I m just gonna, if she wants to do it, but I did feel like for the second guest- Me too.
9
SPEAKER_01
For the second guest- So you would have liked that.
9
SPEAKER_02
I would have, and I thought, oh, I m just gonna say- Let s just get it out in the open.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, but then I was like, I don t need to take up time to talk about my face.
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I see.
9
SPEAKER_01
You saw it as a growth opportunity.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I just don t need to take time out to talk about myself.
9
SPEAKER_02
And then what?
9
SPEAKER_02
He s going to be like, oh, it s fine.
9
SPEAKER_02
Like, what s he going to say?
9
SPEAKER_02
It is good for me to just say, like, I look bad.
9
SPEAKER_01
Hold on.
9
SPEAKER_02
And be careful about what language.
9
SPEAKER_01
How about you don t look your best?
9
SPEAKER_01
Because even you not looking your best still looks good.
9
SPEAKER_01
I don t think we can co-sign on you look bad.
9
SPEAKER_01
You re not at your optimum looks.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, well, because my skin is peeling off.
9
SPEAKER_01
That s right, you re molting.
9
SPEAKER_02
I m molting as my witch says this is what creatures do.
10
SPEAKER_01
Very natural.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s so natural.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
And I am getting excited.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you are?
10
SPEAKER_01
That s good.
10
SPEAKER_00
I m getting excited about it to come off and have baby skin.
10
SPEAKER_01
Also, there s just something about knowing when you re at the bottom of something and things are only gonna get better.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s kind of nice.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s almost the definition of depression, right?
10
SPEAKER_01
Where you think the future is gonna be worse than the present.
10
SPEAKER_01
This is like, well, it can t get worse.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s like forces you to not have depression.
10
SPEAKER_00
The problem is with depression, you don t think that.
10
SPEAKER_01
That s true.
10
SPEAKER_00
You don t have any optimism.
10
SPEAKER_00
Speaking of.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
I m so sorry, I was holding a lot of my yawns in because it s been a long day.
10
SPEAKER_01
And I want you to think of, do not read any of this as disinterest.
10
SPEAKER_01
Maximum interest level.
10
SPEAKER_00
I ve gone up on my medication.
10
SPEAKER_01
Right.
10
SPEAKER_00
I did go up on my medication.
10
SPEAKER_00
I have mentioned on here before that I ve been keeping an eye on my depression.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yep, yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
I think we ve all been tracking that.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh God, in the comments?
10
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no, no, no, not at all.
10
SPEAKER_01
But you have been,
10
SPEAKER_01
vocal about it several times over the last two months.
10
SPEAKER_00
I have, yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
And so I was keeping an eye on it, and at a point I decided that it was important for me to adjust slightly.
10
SPEAKER_01
This is, boy, we re in a real pattern, which is similar to me trying to figure out whether I should say to our guests, hey, Monica had a peel.
10
SPEAKER_01
Let s just talk about that.
10
SPEAKER_01
And similar, and of course I have this with Kristen as well, like when you have a friend who has depression and is medicated, and you notice they re struggling for a really long period of time, I m trying to decide whether it s my place to suggest like, hey, do you wanna look at your dosage?
10
SPEAKER_01
A, I m very supportive, and I m very grateful that that was your conclusion, because I had several times wanted to suggest that.
10
SPEAKER_00
Well, you care.
10
SPEAKER_01
I care and I have a friend who s suffering and I think unduly and not fairly.
10
SPEAKER_01
There isn t like if you had shit collapsing around you and stuff and there were a lot of things then obviously that would make sense, but this felt like undue suffering.
10
SPEAKER_00
So what I feel is that there was some
10
SPEAKER_00
I went through earlier in the year, beginning of the year.
10
SPEAKER_00
And what I feel like happened is I got like shaken.
10
SPEAKER_00
And when all the pieces went back into place, one piece did not go back into place fully.
10
SPEAKER_00
The puzzle piece is like halfway in.
10
SPEAKER_01
Some jagged edges.
10
SPEAKER_00
But it s not clicked in.
10
SPEAKER_00
But the medication has helped just snap it back into place.
10
SPEAKER_00
and doesn t mean I m happy.
10
SPEAKER_00
It doesn t mean it fixed any of the problem.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s just, it doesn t feel, I can t handle it.
10
SPEAKER_01
To me, that s what from the outside it seems like.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s like, we re all gonna have challenges and we re all gonna have to struggle, but depression can make it that you are unable to take up the fight in the way that you need to.
10
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
10
SPEAKER_00
I definitely understand your position.
10
SPEAKER_00
I would struggle too.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s really tricky.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s hard to know.
10
SPEAKER_00
I can t promise you, I can t promise you if you had said it.
10
SPEAKER_01
That it would have been met with.
10
SPEAKER_00
Well received.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s a very, very tricky thing.
10
SPEAKER_01
Because you re already depressed and now I m basically saying I know you re depressed.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
But also this is a little tricky because I said it, right?
10
SPEAKER_00
I m like, I m keeping an eye on this.
10
SPEAKER_00
I know I m not fully where I should be, but I think it ll pass or, you know, I m being pretty vocal about that, which I think makes it actually easier for you to say something.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, in a way you re inviting me into the conversation.
10
SPEAKER_00
But depending on when you said it, I might not have been able to hear it.
10
SPEAKER_00
I might have, I don t know.
10
SPEAKER_00
And I will say, Callie told me,
10
SPEAKER_01
Ah, good.
10
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, yeah, I have to.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, good.
10
SPEAKER_00
I was texting with her.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh, it was when I was home from Mother s Day.
10
SPEAKER_00
I texted her happy Mother s Day, her first Mother s Day, so exciting.
10
SPEAKER_01
Inaugural.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
10
SPEAKER_00
And she asked how the show was.
10
SPEAKER_00
She asked about me, and I was like, yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
And to me, what I was saying was pretty- Inane.
10
SPEAKER_00
Let s see if, let s see what I said.
10
SPEAKER_01
You got a geological record of it?
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it does.
10
SPEAKER_00
It is pretty.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s a read a little different.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s pretty tired.
10
SPEAKER_01
Is your memory a little different than what the archaeological record is showing?
10
SPEAKER_00
I said, happy Mother s Day, two exclamation points.
10
SPEAKER_00
Hope you got your two second hug.
10
SPEAKER_00
She had said that was what she wanted for Mother s Day.
10
SPEAKER_00
It was like a hug from her child longer than two seconds.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, her baby boy.
10
SPEAKER_00
She said, it came close to at least two seconds.
10
SPEAKER_00
And I said, good job, her baby s name.
10
SPEAKER_00
And then she said, how was your event?
10
SPEAKER_00
I said, it was really fun.
10
SPEAKER_00
Glad I did it.
10
SPEAKER_00
I was dreading it a little.
10
SPEAKER_00
And then she said, yay, do one in LA, please.
10
SPEAKER_00
And then I said,
10
SPEAKER_00
I ve been dreading a lot these days.
10
SPEAKER_01
There we go, a little cry for her.
10
SPEAKER_00
And she said, oh, I m sorry.
10
SPEAKER_00
And I said, it s fine.
10
SPEAKER_00
And then she said, a lot of events like that or just a lot of different things?
10
SPEAKER_00
And I said, just a little anxious, I guess it ll pass.
10
SPEAKER_00
And then she said, have you talked to your psychiatrist about it?
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
I guess that s the safest way to say it.
10
SPEAKER_01
Because you re not actually saying, I think you need to do X, Y, or Z. It s just like, hey, have you... Totally.
10
SPEAKER_00
And her and I, I ve done that for her.
10
SPEAKER_01
If another alcoholic says something to me, it s a little different.
10
SPEAKER_00
I know.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s helpful if you yourself have experience with it.
10
SPEAKER_00
I know, which I don t like, because I want to be able to hear it from everyone, and I should be able to, and I want you to be able to hear it from people who aren t just in your club, because it affects everybody.
10
SPEAKER_00
Both of these things do.
10
SPEAKER_00
But there is something about her that I have, I just have so much gratitude and I ve been thinking about it for a bit.
10
SPEAKER_00
And I think you have this with Erin.
10
SPEAKER_00
I believe, like there is no agenda.
10
SPEAKER_00
Ever.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you have total trust and unconditional love and no judgment.
10
SPEAKER_00
Both ways.
10
SPEAKER_01
Exactly, and that s Aaron and I. Aaron can tell me anything and he knows there won t be an ounce of judgment.
10
SPEAKER_01
He must be like, oh yeah, I feel for you, I know.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s more than not having judgment, because I do feel I m fairly blessed with that in many relationships.
10
SPEAKER_00
I don t know how to explain it, because I don t even think it s, I was telling one person about this, and they were like, yeah, sisters.
10
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, it s not even that.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s something else.
10
SPEAKER_00
I just know in my cells that she only wants the best for me.
10
SPEAKER_00
There s no other goal.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yep.
10
SPEAKER_01
And you just said the word that I most identify with Aaron, which is somewhere along the way, I have infused him into my body.
10
SPEAKER_01
Like, it s not an exaggeration, like he s in my DNA.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I know.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s very special.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, I m so lucky.
10
SPEAKER_00
So lucky too.
10
SPEAKER_01
So shout out Erin and Callie.
10
SPEAKER_01
Good job guys.
10
SPEAKER_01
I can only hope they feel that way about us.
10
SPEAKER_00
I sure hope they do.
10
SPEAKER_01
I think my young son does.
10
SPEAKER_00
I think Callie does too.
10
SPEAKER_00
She s not my son.
10
SPEAKER_01
But she is my daughter.
10
SPEAKER_00
No she s not.
10
SPEAKER_00
We don t have that either.
10
SPEAKER_00
I would say almost every other relationship in my life
10
SPEAKER_00
There s a tiny bit of that.
10
SPEAKER_00
Someone s playing a little bit of a role at some, I don t know.
10
SPEAKER_00
I don t know how, I don t.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, Aaron and I is interesting because I think on the surface you could go like, oh, well that s a lopsided.
10
SPEAKER_00
I don t think that by the way.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but he and I have this weird understanding of what that means.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
10
SPEAKER_01
Which is very mutually
10
SPEAKER_01
lovely for both of us in a way that no one s in a lesser role or a power dynamic.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s just, I live to care for that boy.
10
SPEAKER_00
I know, it s so sweet.
10
SPEAKER_00
That s why each relationship s so specific and so different.
10
SPEAKER_00
I m very grateful for her and that friendship.
10
SPEAKER_00
And I have other ones that I m as grateful for, but they re different.
10
SPEAKER_00
Like even Kristen and I have a very, I think, interesting
10
SPEAKER_00
for a long time, like maternal baby dynamic.
10
SPEAKER_00
And it would switch around because I was also working for her and so I was taking care of a lot of her for her.
10
SPEAKER_00
And she was very maternal towards me.
10
SPEAKER_00
And that was very symbiotic.
10
SPEAKER_00
That worked really well.
10
SPEAKER_01
They can take all these shapes.
10
SPEAKER_00
They do.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s just, it s just funny.
10
SPEAKER_00
And I mean, being fully honest, I think, and I won t speak for her, but I feel that part of when I left that position, that was hard for us.
10
SPEAKER_01
You had to redefine.
10
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
10
SPEAKER_00
We were in such a clicked in dynamic that didn t exist anymore when we were not working together.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s really true.
11
SPEAKER_02
common just in general like even like on parenthood you go to set and I m Adam s little brother and I am and then we hang out and go for a hike and it s like I m not Adam s little brother I m like a peer yeah and so I think it s common for people to have like
11
SPEAKER_02
different relationships in different contexts.
11
SPEAKER_02
And some people manage those well and some don t.
11
SPEAKER_02
I ve had friendships where it s like the dynamic changed dramatically and we didn t do well with it.
11
SPEAKER_01
Right, exactly.
11
SPEAKER_01
You have to work at it and maybe sometimes it s easier than others.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_02
Or Joy and I, we re at work and we re married.
11
SPEAKER_01
Right.
11
SPEAKER_02
And then we go get some grilled Brazilian chicken and clearly we re not married, we re bros.
11
SPEAKER_01
That part of acting is very- It s funny.
11
SPEAKER_01
Odd, yeah.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, very, very odd.
11
SPEAKER_01
Anyhow.
11
SPEAKER_02
Well, the results are in per the comment section and I m weirdly delighted to report this.
11
SPEAKER_02
I don t know why, but many people said they do go straight to the fact check.
11
SPEAKER_01
That s lovely.
11
SPEAKER_01
It s very common.
11
SPEAKER_01
I like that.
11
SPEAKER_02
You do.
11
SPEAKER_02
I don t like it in that I don t want the guests to not be heard, but I like it.
11
SPEAKER_01
Well, we love you guys out there who love the fact check.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s very flattering.
11
SPEAKER_01
It is extremely flattering.
11
SPEAKER_02
Anyhow, very far behind the curtain today.
11
SPEAKER_01
What was in my underwear drawer at this point?
11
SPEAKER_01
Well, because my face is peeling off, so I m very vulnerable.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, the new baby you is coming out.
11
SPEAKER_01
I m not supposed to pick.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, must be.
11
SPEAKER_01
It s really hard.
11
SPEAKER_02
You gotta get a fidget toy.
11
SPEAKER_01
I did pick one piece off.
11
SPEAKER_02
Oh fuck, I would ve done the same thing.
11
SPEAKER_01
I know.
11
SPEAKER_02
I can t be judgmental.
11
SPEAKER_02
But you need a fidget toy for this duration.
11
SPEAKER_02
How many days do we think the molting takes place?
11
SPEAKER_01
I think it s moving at a rapid pace.
11
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_01
I think by the next time I see you,
11
SPEAKER_01
I ll look like a baby.
11
SPEAKER_02
A baby, okay.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_02
Will you wear that dress from that?
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_02
You should get a full-size version of that dress made.
11
SPEAKER_02
You can afford it.
11
SPEAKER_02
You should hire someone.
11
SPEAKER_01
If Mary-Kate and Ashley make it, I ll buy it.
11
SPEAKER_01
You ll wear it.
11
SPEAKER_01
I ll wear it.
11
SPEAKER_01
Speaking of Peter, I m still watching Six Feet Under.
11
SPEAKER_02
Okay, you got- Still loving it.
11
SPEAKER_02
Got back in.
11
SPEAKER_01
I did realize something.
11
SPEAKER_02
Since we ve spoken.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, since last night or yesterday.
11
SPEAKER_02
There s been a...
11
SPEAKER_01
An update, because I watched a couple episodes last night.
11
SPEAKER_01
And I realized, I think I had started it at some point in my life before.
11
SPEAKER_01
And I remembered why I stopped.
11
SPEAKER_02
Too much death?
11
SPEAKER_01
Not specifically too much death in the actual show, but you know, the cold open is a death.
11
SPEAKER_01
There s a death every episode.
11
SPEAKER_02
It s how we meet the corpse.
11
SPEAKER_01
Exactly, it s how we meet the corpse, and it s, to me, incredible storytelling to me.
11
SPEAKER_01
Like, I think it s so fun and funny.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it s a weird procedure.
11
SPEAKER_01
And sometimes they re funny, and sometimes they re horrific, like there was a SIDS.
11
SPEAKER_02
Oh yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
11
SPEAKER_01
And then I remembered, oh yeah, I think I stopped because all I could see walking through the world while I was watching it was ways I could die.
11
SPEAKER_02
You have had always a healthy fear of death.
11
SPEAKER_01
I wouldn t say healthy, but.
11
SPEAKER_02
Oh right, an unhealthy fear of death.
11
SPEAKER_01
Probably.
11
SPEAKER_02
Boy, are you and I on opposite ends of that spectrum.
11
SPEAKER_02
It s just kind of comical.
11
SPEAKER_01
I know.
11
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I just don t ever think about it.
11
SPEAKER_02
I m not afraid of it at all.
11
SPEAKER_01
It s not that I m afraid of dying.
11
SPEAKER_01
I m actually not.
11
SPEAKER_01
I die, die, you know, like I won t know.
11
SPEAKER_01
I don t want someone to leave my universe.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
And so that sort of all I could see is like how vulnerable everyone is all the time, which is scary to me, but I m getting better at it.
11
SPEAKER_02
But I have these like, I ll have these dark fears play out when we re all together, the family on a flight, let s say.
11
SPEAKER_02
And even when I have that terrible thought, I go right to like, what an experience we had together.
11
SPEAKER_02
And we re all gonna shut the light switch off at the same time.
11
SPEAKER_01
Well, that s different.
11
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_01
Cause I agree.
11
SPEAKER_01
Like if we re all going out at the same time, I m not scared of that.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I kind of go straight to the gratitude of like, my God, I met these people.
11
SPEAKER_02
God, I met these people.
11
SPEAKER_02
These two little people.
11
SPEAKER_01
But it s about them leaving you while you re alive.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s, exactly.
11
SPEAKER_01
That s like an unspeakable, we can t think about it or talk about it.
11
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God, I finally understand Voldemort.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he who shall not be named.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I m just recklessly.
11
SPEAKER_02
Oh, and right now, Kristen got sent a script.
11
SPEAKER_02
It s like a modern retelling of Macbeth.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh, cool.
11
SPEAKER_02
And she literally will not say it.
11
SPEAKER_02
She will not say Macbeth.
11
SPEAKER_01
She s such a theater girl.
11
SPEAKER_02
I know, it s so real to her.
11
SPEAKER_01
I thought it was only in the theater.
11
SPEAKER_02
I did too, but it s in our bathroom as well.
11
SPEAKER_02
And I m like, wow, we re really not gonna, and I m saying it and she does not like when I say it.
11
SPEAKER_01
If she were a knock on wood person.
11
SPEAKER_01
You shouldn t say it if she doesn t want you to.
11
SPEAKER_02
No, it s preposterous because I think the fill in for it is the Scottish play.
11
SPEAKER_01
Scottish play, yeah.
11
SPEAKER_02
Which is, it s preposterous.
11
SPEAKER_02
We re saying the same thing.
11
SPEAKER_02
What are we saying?
11
SPEAKER_01
I like it in the context of the theater because it s a like familect thing.
11
SPEAKER_01
Like it s a community.
11
SPEAKER_02
There s probably someone in a movie theater that is running out of the room right now because they heard it out loud.
11
SPEAKER_01
I can t hear it.
11
SPEAKER_02
I don t think they are.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yes, they are.
11
SPEAKER_02
It s insane.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yes, they are.
11
SPEAKER_02
And then she had to bring up the hat on the bed.
11
SPEAKER_02
She s like, but that s real.
11
SPEAKER_02
I m like, well, that is real.
11
SPEAKER_02
That s the difference.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
11
SPEAKER_01
I agree with her.
11
SPEAKER_01
If you have yours, she gets to have hers.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_02
It is really funny.
11
SPEAKER_02
She ll go like, well, in this telling of the Scottish play, I would play the Scottish play or whatever.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh, really?
11
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
11
SPEAKER_01
How is she gonna do press if she takes this on?
11
SPEAKER_02
Well, this would be great.
11
SPEAKER_02
I hope she does it just to see her try to promote this movie without saying.
11
SPEAKER_02
By the way, a lot of people probably don t know, I would ve never known this if I hadn t married a theater person, but you re not allowed to say Macbeth in a theater.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yes, that s right.
11
SPEAKER_01
Bad luck.
11
SPEAKER_02
Because apparently there s been some legendary, like some sandbags fell on people or something like that.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, there s just like, it s theater lore.
11
SPEAKER_00
What is it?
11
SPEAKER_00
So the actor playing Lady Macbeth.
11
SPEAKER_00
Oh jeez, Rob, you just made it worse.
11
SPEAKER_00
Lady Macbeth unexpectedly died in the first show, and then an actor stabbed King Duncan with a dagger.
11
SPEAKER_00
instead of the prop knife killing him on stage.
11
SPEAKER_02
This is like in the 1600s or something, 1500s?
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I guess so.
11
SPEAKER_01
It just has bad juju, everyone knows it.
11
SPEAKER_02
Also there was a dude playing Macbeth, let s just also acknowledge that.
11
SPEAKER_02
You know girls weren t allowed to be on stage.
11
SPEAKER_02
So you got a guy playing the Scottish play.
11
SPEAKER_02
Okay, listen.
11
SPEAKER_02
You don t like to say it?
11
SPEAKER_01
No, I won t say it in a theater, no.
11
SPEAKER_02
You won t, that s where you draw the line.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yes, because I also grew up in that world, but I don t think it s a thing to not say it outside.
11
SPEAKER_02
Well, it is for her.
11
SPEAKER_02
That s so cute.
11
SPEAKER_02
And chance be said, it s like, I guess, Voldemort.
11
SPEAKER_02
Do you say Voldemort?
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_01
I m not gonna right now.
11
SPEAKER_02
You don t love it, okay.
11
SPEAKER_01
No, I say Voldemort.
11
SPEAKER_01
I m not giving him the power.
11
SPEAKER_02
I wonder if we should have some kind of submersion therapy, the three of us, where we ll get in a room,
11
SPEAKER_02
We ll put all the hats on the bed.
11
SPEAKER_02
We ll start chanting Macbeth.
11
SPEAKER_02
Go ahead, Voldemort, Macbeth.
11
SPEAKER_01
We should do this in a theater.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, we should put a bed in a theater.
11
SPEAKER_01
So really do it.
11
SPEAKER_02
What are you gonna do about Terrence Posner?
11
SPEAKER_02
How do we make this the most sacrilegious?
11
SPEAKER_01
Mine s gonna be more of a not knocking on wood.
11
SPEAKER_02
No, it s gotta be a theater in Hogwarts with a bed on the stage covered in hats.
11
SPEAKER_02
and we ll chant and chant.
11
SPEAKER_01
But I m like Harry, I say it.
11
SPEAKER_02
Oh, Harry says it.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, because Harry doesn t want to give him the power and I don t either.
11
SPEAKER_02
That s my point, although not with the hats on.
11
SPEAKER_01
I don t think it s really your point.
11
SPEAKER_02
I don t think so either, I just jumped onto yours.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but we could do a no wood insight and then just horrible, someone saying horrible.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I could just talk about death nonstop.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, okay, I don t want us to do this.
11
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, thank you.
11
SPEAKER_02
It s also funny to me that I can do the knocking for you.
11
SPEAKER_02
That s also a weird rule in all this.
11
SPEAKER_02
But I mean, all the rules are completely arbitrary, so it does make sense at the same time.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh, boy.
11
SPEAKER_01
Brains.
11
SPEAKER_01
Brains.
11
SPEAKER_01
Okay, but anyway, the Peter thing, ding, ding, ding, because on this episode, you re talking about first season of Parenthood, and you said 18 or 20 episodes.
11
SPEAKER_01
Season one had 13 episodes.
11
SPEAKER_02
True, we were mid-season.
11
SPEAKER_02
I think I meant season two.
11
SPEAKER_02
Season two, we had a weird number.
11
SPEAKER_01
We never did 24.
11
SPEAKER_02
Season two, you had 22.
11
SPEAKER_02
Oh, we did?
11
SPEAKER_02
That s a big order on a one-hour drama.
11
SPEAKER_01
It is, and then 18, season three.
11
SPEAKER_02
That s what I was thinking of, season three.
11
SPEAKER_01
Four, 15, you guys were all over the map.
11
SPEAKER_02
It was a mess.
11
SPEAKER_02
You never knew how many pages you were gonna get.
11
SPEAKER_01
22, season five.
11
SPEAKER_01
What?
11
SPEAKER_01
What were they doing?
11
SPEAKER_01
And then 13, season six.
11
SPEAKER_02
What a mess.
11
SPEAKER_02
Well, the guests we had on, one of the aforementioned gorgeous men that were on earlier, they were on a show that s gone on for years.
11
SPEAKER_02
And I was really trying to imagine, like, what would have happened if Parenthood went on for 20 years?
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, well, you would have left, probably.
11
SPEAKER_02
I know, that s weird.
11
SPEAKER_01
So it was perfect.
11
SPEAKER_01
That s why, like, you know, Mike has said that about the good plays.
11
SPEAKER_01
He called it.
11
SPEAKER_01
And for that reason, like, this is done.
11
SPEAKER_01
And I think it s really smart.
11
SPEAKER_02
I know, because it was so pleasurable.
11
SPEAKER_02
So why would I ever want to do that?
12
SPEAKER_02
I want to walk away, but at the same time, like, I want to try a bunch of different things in life.
12
SPEAKER_02
So it s, I don t know.
12
SPEAKER_00
And you want the integrity of the show.
12
SPEAKER_00
You want it to be good.
12
SPEAKER_02
Well, let s assume, though, that it s just always good.
12
SPEAKER_00
20 seasons?
12
SPEAKER_02
Well, Seinfeld never got bad.
12
SPEAKER_02
Seinfeld was, like, great the whole ride.
12
SPEAKER_00
How many seasons?
12
SPEAKER_00
Nine.
12
SPEAKER_00
And Friends never got bad.
12
SPEAKER_02
What was that?
12
10.
12
SPEAKER_02
There you go.
12
SPEAKER_00
But 10 is the most.
12
SPEAKER_02
60 Minutes is still great.
12
SPEAKER_02
They re on episode kabillion.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay, I don t think that s the same.
12
SPEAKER_00
That doesn t count?
12
SPEAKER_00
No.
12
SPEAKER_02
It s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
12
SPEAKER_02
They re on, I don t know what season.
12
SPEAKER_00
That s true.
12
SPEAKER_02
They re on 18, something crazy.
12
SPEAKER_00
All right.
12
SPEAKER_02
And still great.
12
SPEAKER_02
So, for which one s show?
12
SPEAKER_02
Always Sunny 16.
12
SPEAKER_02
Okay, yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_02
But I mean, yeah, you gotta assume that Parenthood stayed great.
12
SPEAKER_02
And then, yeah, it would be really, I don t envy these people who have to make that decision.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_02
What?
12
SPEAKER_00
Nothing.
12
SPEAKER_00
I was just thinking about my skin flaking.
12
SPEAKER_00
And then I almost said, how much would it cost for both of you guys to eat some of the skin?
12
SPEAKER_02
Okay, you go first, Rob.
12
SPEAKER_00
But then I didn t, but now I am.
12
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I think it s a really good, I think it s an important question.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
12
SPEAKER_02
How big is the chunk?
12
SPEAKER_02
Let s go dime size.
12
SPEAKER_00
No, that s too big.
12
SPEAKER_00
Too big?
12
SPEAKER_00
That s way too big.
12
SPEAKER_00
I mean like a booger size.
12
SPEAKER_02
Wait, match head?
12
SPEAKER_02
Can I eat it with something else?
12
SPEAKER_00
Match head.
12
SPEAKER_02
The head of a match.
12
SPEAKER_02
A fiery match.
12
SPEAKER_00
Sure.
12
SPEAKER_00
The head of a match.
12
SPEAKER_02
Can I eat it with something else?
12
SPEAKER_00
No.
12
SPEAKER_02
You got a raw nugget.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_02
No sides, no soul, no garnishing.
12
SPEAKER_01
Probably like 25 grand.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay, that s a lot.
12
SPEAKER_02
It is, it s pricey.
12
SPEAKER_00
That s a big number.
12
SPEAKER_02
You have to be very perverse to be willing to pay that, to watch somebody lose skin.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay now, well I wanna hear your answer.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
But what about your own, your own skin?
12
SPEAKER_01
Not that much.
12
SPEAKER_01
Five dollars.
12
SPEAKER_01
And this is also like the party thing, where it d probably be lower if... If it was real money.
12
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, if I pulled out 15 grand in a stack of cash right now, you d eat her whole face.
12
SPEAKER_02
I m pretty certain of it.
12
SPEAKER_02
Exactly.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay, what about you?
12
SPEAKER_02
I would do it for free.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
We re besties.
12
SPEAKER_00
That s really why I wanted to ask, because I ll probably have to cut this.
12
SPEAKER_00
This is so perverted.
12
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
12
SPEAKER_00
This is so nasty.
12
SPEAKER_02
Oh, great.
12
SPEAKER_00
So when I pulled the tiny piece off earlier, it s so tiny, it s like.
12
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, who would notice?
12
SPEAKER_00
I looked at it on my finger and there was, I had a moment.
12
SPEAKER_02
Were you gonna eat it?
12
SPEAKER_00
I was like.
12
SPEAKER_00
I don t wanna eat this.
12
SPEAKER_00
I didn t, I didn t.
12
SPEAKER_00
But I wanted to see what it felt like in between my two teeth.
12
SPEAKER_02
Well, here s what I think we could all relate to.
12
SPEAKER_02
So yeah, I think where the line is for people.
12
SPEAKER_00
Don t tell our attractive guests that I said that.
12
SPEAKER_02
But I think eating, there s all these rungs of this, okay?
12
SPEAKER_02
Everyone s eaten a booger or two, we accept that.
12
SPEAKER_02
Now, I had a lover who would eat their dander, their, yes.
12
SPEAKER_02
And for me, that was too much, but I wasn t judgmental.
12
SPEAKER_02
In fact, I kind of loved that she did it, because I m like, this is so unique and weird.
12
SPEAKER_00
It is unique because I don t even understand it.
12
SPEAKER_02
Well, she d be scratching, she d have like a scab on her head from dandruff, and then she would like pull her finger away, and then she would see, I guess, like a scab or something in her.
12
SPEAKER_02
People are getting sick.
12
SPEAKER_02
And then I would notice that she was just kind of chewing with her front teeth.
12
SPEAKER_02
And I d go, you re eating your head, aren t you?
12
SPEAKER_02
You re eating your scalp.
12
SPEAKER_02
But it made me love her more.
12
SPEAKER_02
I kind of liked it.
12
SPEAKER_02
Doesn t it listen to him?
12
SPEAKER_02
Because if she did it, it d be fun.
12
SPEAKER_02
No, it s not anyone famous.
12
SPEAKER_02
People would pay for the money to see.
12
SPEAKER_02
Okay, so that one obviously I think you almost have a unanimous group saying that they wouldn t eat their dander.
12
SPEAKER_00
I agree.
12
SPEAKER_02
Okay, now what I will chew on all the time is when you get a callus on your thing and you bite that off with your, it s already in your teeth and it s so, you can feel like the fingerprint of it.
12
SPEAKER_02
You can feel the ridges of it and I will chew on a big chunk of skin from, not a blister, but a callus.
12
SPEAKER_00
Right.
12
SPEAKER_02
And I love it, and I ll chew on that all day, and I don t care.
12
SPEAKER_02
I don t swallow it, but if I swallowed it, I wouldn t care.
12
SPEAKER_00
But I wouldn t eat a scab off my mouth.
12
SPEAKER_00
I do that with the skin around my finger.
12
SPEAKER_00
Do you ever do, like, just like chew on the skin?
12
SPEAKER_02
Sure, you get a little from the cuticle, and then you get it in between your teeth, and you move it around.
12
SPEAKER_02
But then there were other kids in school that would eat their scabs.
12
SPEAKER_02
Now, I would never do that.
12
SPEAKER_00
Did you see that, though?
12
SPEAKER_00
No, I knew about scab eaters.
12
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I think that s more common than we would, yes.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but I thought that was like pica.
12
SPEAKER_02
No, I don t think so.
12
SPEAKER_00
Do you think your lover maybe had pica a little bit?
12
SPEAKER_02
No.
12
SPEAKER_00
Or like 5%?
12
SPEAKER_02
Sure, I guess everything s a spectrum we ve learned.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_02
We ve learned one thing.
12
SPEAKER_00
But what I m saying about my face is similar to the dander, like it s,
12
SPEAKER_00
Not that different.
12
SPEAKER_02
Well, that s my point.
12
SPEAKER_02
It s all skin off of your body.
12
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
12
SPEAKER_02
But we draw these kind of arbitrary lines.
12
SPEAKER_02
One s disgusting.
12
SPEAKER_02
I think we all eat our calluses, right?
12
SPEAKER_00
Or the cuticle skin.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, cuticle skin, do you?
12
SPEAKER_00
It s fair game.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay, you do.
12
SPEAKER_00
So most of all of us do.
12
SPEAKER_02
I think so.
12
SPEAKER_00
Although I try not to do this because my mom probably wouldn t like that I m saying this, but she used to do it a lot when she was a kid.
12
SPEAKER_02
So she monitored you a lot.
12
SPEAKER_00
No.
12
SPEAKER_00
Her nail.
12
SPEAKER_02
Oh yeah, we re a mess.
12
SPEAKER_00
Still is completely fucked up.
12
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I feel really bad for people that have that as a nervous habit.
12
SPEAKER_02
I had so many of them, but that wasn t one of them.
12
SPEAKER_02
This brings us perfectly to this thing I need to address.
12
SPEAKER_02
Because there was several people in the comments that were upset about my portrayal of OCD when we were interviewing Camila.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
12
SPEAKER_02
Because I was saying like having an obsessive mind is also a gift.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_02
And we had also been talking about OCD.
12
SPEAKER_02
So I think people,
12
SPEAKER_02
What people, well, they had two complaints.
12
SPEAKER_02
One is that they don t believe I know what OCD is, and they want us to have an expert.
12
SPEAKER_02
I reached out to one.
12
SPEAKER_02
There s a popular one, so I invited one on the show.
12
SPEAKER_00
I like that.
12
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, happy to do that.
12
SPEAKER_02
Secondly, they didn t like the notion that I was making it sound like some kind of a blessing, B-O-C-D.
12
SPEAKER_02
Many people wrote, it s a horrendous condition that I have, and there s nothing good about it.
12
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
12
SPEAKER_02
Right.
12
SPEAKER_02
And so I hear them and I respect them.
12
SPEAKER_02
I can t relate to that reaction, to be honest.
12
SPEAKER_02
If I m listening to someone on a podcast say that they re an alcoholic when they re not, I don t care at all.
12
SPEAKER_02
I don t think they re making light of my condition.
12
SPEAKER_00
But can I push back a tiny bit?
12
SPEAKER_00
What you can relate to is JD Vance, who wrote about having a hillbilly life and who you believe did not, and that did bother you.
12
SPEAKER_02
That did bother me, huh?
12
SPEAKER_02
That s a good pushback.
12
SPEAKER_02
The reason I feel entitled to it is I have technically OCD.
12
SPEAKER_02
I had crazy tics and I was plagued by them.
12
SPEAKER_02
I certainly had OCD.
12
SPEAKER_02
I don t have it now, clearly.
12
SPEAKER_02
So in a weird way, I do feel entitled to identify with that because I did spend eight years of my life completely riddled with all this behavior I did not want to do.
12
SPEAKER_02
And now, yes, I guess now I m playing it fast and loose with the fact that I also attribute whatever little personality was that person who was thinking that obsessively about things, I have come to think that that is me and I like it.
12
SPEAKER_02
The same way I like that I m an addict.
12
SPEAKER_02
I like that I m an addict.
12
SPEAKER_02
Now someone s struggling right now in their first hour of trying to quit something and they re like, there s nothing to like about being an addict.
12
SPEAKER_02
And that s fine, but that s not my experience.
12
SPEAKER_02
I have gratitude for it.
12
SPEAKER_00
You re just speaking for you.
12
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I apologize if anyone felt demeaned or trivialized, minimized.
12
SPEAKER_00
I agree, and I will also say I have an obsessive brain.
12
SPEAKER_00
I don t have OCD, but I do have obsessive thoughts.
12
SPEAKER_00
That s part of what we re just talking about.
12
SPEAKER_00
The death, the you see it every, like intrusive thoughts.
12
SPEAKER_00
I have all of that.
12
SPEAKER_02
Right, and it s a big old spectrum.
12
SPEAKER_00
It s a big spectrum and it used to be much worse for me.
12
SPEAKER_00
But I also, there are parts of my personality that are connected to that obsessive nature that I am very grateful for.
12
SPEAKER_02
And I don t expect everyone to be grateful for the things they have.
12
SPEAKER_00
No one has to, everyone can make their own decisions about what they re grateful for and what they re not.
12
SPEAKER_02
I m only speaking for me at all times, but I know it gets... Complicated.
12
SPEAKER_02
It gets complicated.
12
SPEAKER_02
I like molesting jokes a lot.
12
SPEAKER_02
There are a lot of survivors that hate that.
12
SPEAKER_02
And they ll tell me I can t laugh at that, and I get a little offended by that, which is like, you can t actually tell me how I m supposed to feel about this experience I had.
12
SPEAKER_02
If you get to decide how you feel about it, and I get to decide how I feel about it, I m not going to change who I am because we don t feel the same way anymore.
12
SPEAKER_00
You re not gonna feel worse because other people want you to feel worse.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yes, I m not gonna do it.
12
SPEAKER_00
That s how we break it down.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay, I have some facts.
12
SPEAKER_02
Updates or facts?
12
SPEAKER_00
I have both.
12
SPEAKER_02
Okay, great.
12
SPEAKER_00
In this episode, you say it s for Sebastian.
12
SPEAKER_00
People already know.
12
SPEAKER_02
They always know, but I don t always know.
12
SPEAKER_02
Not if they skipped ahead.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you re right.
12
SPEAKER_02
They didn t even look.
12
SPEAKER_02
I mean, incredible.
12
SPEAKER_02
Could be Brad Pitt.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
12
SPEAKER_00
If Brad Pitt got
13
SPEAKER_01
Added to the schedule after I had had Appeal what would you do?
13
SPEAKER_01
I would I would really honest to God ask you if we could reschedule it.
13
SPEAKER_00
I really would okay, and then And then now let s play it all out.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, nope.
13
SPEAKER_00
That s the only day.
13
SPEAKER_00
He s ever gonna have available Would you then decide to not come no okay?
13
SPEAKER_01
I care, unfortunately, more about this job than I do about... Your looks.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_00
You just do full glam or something.
13
SPEAKER_00
Hire someone.
13
SPEAKER_01
No, you can t.
13
SPEAKER_01
You re not allowed to put anything on it.
13
SPEAKER_00
You would if it was Brad Pitt.
13
SPEAKER_00
You re not allowed to, but you would.
13
SPEAKER_01
I think it would work, like that s the problem.
13
SPEAKER_01
If it was just color, you could glam, but because it s actual flakes, there s not much you can do.
13
SPEAKER_00
It d be more like taping a mudding job on drywall.
13
SPEAKER_00
They d have to fill in the separation from the water.
13
SPEAKER_01
I guess maybe I would.
13
SPEAKER_00
Just wear like a mask.
13
SPEAKER_01
COVID mask.
13
SPEAKER_00
That or the Siwa chick, doesn t she wear like?
13
SPEAKER_01
Oh, does she wear like a fuck club or whatever?
13
SPEAKER_01
There is like a hip.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s fun.
13
SPEAKER_00
It s like a fashion thing.
13
SPEAKER_01
There s like a fashion mask.
13
SPEAKER_00
I could try that.
13
SPEAKER_00
Oh, Aaron the other day, Aaron s been driving Uber and he answered a call in downtown Detroit.
13
SPEAKER_00
He dropped someone off in downtown Detroit.
13
SPEAKER_00
So another call came in and he went to this address and a fucking dude in a full ski mask got in the car.
13
SPEAKER_00
And only Aaron, who s not afraid of anything.
13
SPEAKER_00
He s like, yeah, this dude with a full ski mask gets in the car.
13
SPEAKER_00
And I m thinking, it s a voice memo.
13
SPEAKER_00
And I m thinking, I would never let someone ski mask get in a car with me.
13
SPEAKER_00
And he just drove him and the guy was going to work.
13
SPEAKER_00
To burgle?
13
SPEAKER_00
No, like had a real job, went into his job.
13
SPEAKER_00
and wears a face mask.
13
SPEAKER_00
And I saw a guy in the park the other day wearing a full face mask.
13
SPEAKER_00
So I think there s like some quadrant of fashion has people in ski masks.
13
SPEAKER_00
So you d be fine.
13
SPEAKER_01
I would probably call my witch, I would say,
13
SPEAKER_01
a work thing has come up.
13
SPEAKER_00
Emergency.
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, this is an emergency.
13
SPEAKER_01
What do I do?
13
SPEAKER_01
And she hopefully would have a tip or two.
13
SPEAKER_00
Spell or something.
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, well, yeah.
13
SPEAKER_00
Some frog legs and some nude eyes.
13
SPEAKER_01
No, I m feeling a little anxious about calling her witch.
13
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
13
SPEAKER_00
You don t think she would like that, the dark arts.
13
SPEAKER_00
Voldemort.
13
SPEAKER_01
I think she would think it was Voldy.
13
SPEAKER_01
And I don t want it to get back to her because I,
13
SPEAKER_01
We ll die without her.
13
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, I would do that, and I would show up, and... You d get through it.
13
SPEAKER_01
I d get through it, but I would be so... Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_01
Sad, and I would want you to do everything in your power to make sure I didn t have to experience that.
13
SPEAKER_00
Right, well, what would be, what could I do?
13
SPEAKER_00
Keep distracting him?
13
SPEAKER_00
Every time he looks at you, hey, Brad!
13
SPEAKER_01
No, no, I want him to look at me.
13
SPEAKER_01
This is the problem.
13
SPEAKER_01
Catch 22.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
13
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
13
SPEAKER_00
Well, there s a chance to, what if I didn t look vascular that day?
13
SPEAKER_00
Impossible.
13
SPEAKER_01
Ew, barf.
13
SPEAKER_00
I thought you were saying stop for it.
13
SPEAKER_01
No, I was saying stop as in don t make that equivalency, because that s not even close.
13
SPEAKER_01
You know what I would do, or I would ask you to do?
13
SPEAKER_00
What?
13
SPEAKER_01
Get a peel.
13
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, so.
13
SPEAKER_00
And when he sat down, he almost, so sorry, we had an acid leak in here.
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_00
We act like there was some kind of workplace.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_00
We re eating each other s skin.
13
SPEAKER_00
Money s changing hands.
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, exactly.
13
SPEAKER_01
How do we get on this?
13
SPEAKER_01
I totally forget.
13
SPEAKER_01
Anywho.
13
SPEAKER_00
He s never gonna come on now that he hears.
13
SPEAKER_01
That I had a peel?
13
SPEAKER_00
No, that we re all gonna have peels and eating each other s skin and stuff.
13
SPEAKER_01
I think it sounds fun.
13
SPEAKER_00
Well, memorable.
13
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
13
SPEAKER_01
I checked with Ana because we bring up Santa in this episode, and you said in Venezuela, they say that- No Santa, because no snow.
13
SPEAKER_01
No.
13
SPEAKER_01
And I was pretty sure you were wrong about that, because it s mainly baby Jesus.
13
SPEAKER_01
But I checked with Ana and she said, I ve heard it before in the way that a parent is trying to lie.
13
SPEAKER_00
Of course.
13
SPEAKER_01
where the kid sees Santa on TV and they ask, and then they would say, oh, there s no snow.
13
SPEAKER_00
It s such a simple answer.
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_01
But they also have baby Jesus.
13
SPEAKER_01
Baby Jesus brings the presents and stuff.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, very generous.
13
SPEAKER_01
This baby.
13
SPEAKER_00
Very generous baby.
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_00
Good baby.
13
SPEAKER_01
Okay, you didn t know about this guy?
13
SPEAKER_01
His name is Joe Lapuma.
13
SPEAKER_01
And he has a show called Sneaker Shopping.
13
SPEAKER_01
It s a YouTube show.
13
SPEAKER_01
And it s really good.
13
SPEAKER_01
I ve seen it.
13
SPEAKER_00
You watch it?
13
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you had seen it before.
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_01
And he has people on and, you know.
13
SPEAKER_00
They talk sneaks.
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and then they like pick out sneakers and stuff.
13
SPEAKER_01
It s pretty cool.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s a good idea for a show.
13
SPEAKER_01
So, um, anywho, cool show.
13
SPEAKER_01
Check it out.
13
SPEAKER_01
I recommend the Ben and Matt one, obviously.
13
SPEAKER_00
Oh, so that s a slam dunk cross promotion for air.
13
SPEAKER_01
That is what it was for.
13
SPEAKER_00
That s why you had seen it.
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_01
Okay, now there was a big debate over how much the Air Jordan was when it came out.
13
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah.
13
SPEAKER_01
Okay, Air Jordan 1, designer Peter Moore, released 1985.
13
SPEAKER_00
Wow, long before I was in the market for them.
13
SPEAKER_01
Original price, $65.
13
SPEAKER_01
I don t doubt that.
13
SPEAKER_01
You said a hundred.
13
SPEAKER_00
I m talking fours.
13
SPEAKER_01
Oh, well, he had said 50.
13
SPEAKER_01
Maybe that was the confusion.
13
SPEAKER_00
Because I had to talk mine down.
13
SPEAKER_00
It certainly was probably part of that.
13
SPEAKER_01
Okay, the fours, 1989, was the release.
13
SPEAKER_01
Original price, $110.
13
SPEAKER_01
There we go.
13
SPEAKER_00
I had to get 10 bucks off that price tag for my mom to buy them for me.
13
SPEAKER_01
Fives are 125.
13
SPEAKER_01
These are original prices.
13
SPEAKER_01
Threes were 100.
13
SPEAKER_00
Maybe he was talking about threes.
13
SPEAKER_01
He said $50, so he must have been talking about the original.
13
SPEAKER_00
And he was $15 short, yeah.
13
SPEAKER_00
But he and I are the same age, so 85, he was 10 getting these shoes?
13
SPEAKER_01
Probably.
13
SPEAKER_00
That s wild.
13
SPEAKER_00
Although, funny enough, I went to my cousin s birthday party last night.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, at a Chinese restaurant in Sherman Oaks.
13
SPEAKER_00
My uncle Randy s in town.
13
SPEAKER_01
Fun!
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it was great.
13
SPEAKER_00
Jason s birthday and my cousin Jamie was there.
13
SPEAKER_00
They re two and four years younger than me.
13
SPEAKER_00
So I was kind of their older cousin.
13
SPEAKER_00
It was so fun.
13
SPEAKER_00
I would go over to my uncle Randy s house.
13
SPEAKER_00
They had a ton of toys.
13
SPEAKER_00
They had it good.
13
SPEAKER_00
My uncle Randy really doted on those boys.
13
SPEAKER_00
And I m looking at pictures of them as little kids at this birthday party.
13
SPEAKER_00
I m just blown away with how cute they were.
13
SPEAKER_00
Unbelievably cute.
13
SPEAKER_01
You re looking at pictures, okay, sorry.
13
SPEAKER_00
My Uncle Randy brought a bunch of photo albums to the dinner.
13
SPEAKER_01
Got it, but they re adults now.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, Jason was turning 44.
13
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
13
SPEAKER_00
And Jamie s 47, which very much tripped me out.
13
SPEAKER_01
And they re both boys.
13
SPEAKER_00
Boys, yeah, because Jamie s a misleading name.
13
SPEAKER_00
Could go either way.
13
SPEAKER_00
But I m looking at these pictures,
13
SPEAKER_00
And I already knew Jamie had it good, because he had a very enviable Garbage Pail Kids collection.
13
SPEAKER_00
That was the currency of the day when I was a kid.
13
SPEAKER_00
You wanted certain ones, and you had to buy a ton of packs to get these really coveted ones.
13
SPEAKER_00
And he had them all.
13
SPEAKER_00
He had the full sink.
13
SPEAKER_00
Were they rich?
13
SPEAKER_00
No, my uncle worked in the union for the Baker s Union.
13
SPEAKER_00
He did end up becoming the president of it.
13
SPEAKER_00
But they lived in like a modest house, but they had all the shit.
13
SPEAKER_00
They had the great serial.
13
SPEAKER_00
They had a cool stereo system.
13
SPEAKER_00
You know, they had good stuff.
13
SPEAKER_00
Anywho, all this to say, I m looking at these pictures.
13
SPEAKER_00
And I realized fucking eight-year-old Jamie had Jordan 1s on.
13
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, you had Jordans when we were a little kid?
13
SPEAKER_00
I didn t even notice that.
13
SPEAKER_00
And Randy was like, yeah, I had to get him Jordans.
13
SPEAKER_00
She was like eight years old and had $65 shoes.
13
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
13
SPEAKER_00
My uncle Randy is so fucking sweet.
13
SPEAKER_00
He brought with him, because he s visiting from Michigan, and he brought photo albums, which were so fun to look at.
13
SPEAKER_00
And then he brought a poem he wrote about his boys when they were little called Two Beautiful Boys and he read it.
13
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
13
SPEAKER_00
It was so sweet.
13
SPEAKER_00
And then he cold cocked me and he pulled out a letter I wrote him when I was 25 thanking him for being such a great uncle.
13
SPEAKER_00
Wow, that s so sweet.
13
SPEAKER_00
And how I lived daily haunted by the fact that I didn t tell my Papa Bob how much he meant to me.
13
SPEAKER_00
And then I didn t want to make that mistake again.
13
SPEAKER_01
That s sweet.
13
SPEAKER_01
Do you remember doing it?
13
SPEAKER_00
Vaguely, it s funny, because I still have the same urge.
13
SPEAKER_00
I really want Uncle Randy to know what a great uncle he was and how fun he was and involved.
13
SPEAKER_00
And I was relieved I did do that when I was 25.
13
SPEAKER_00
But I weirdly still feel like I haven t and I need to more.
13
SPEAKER_01
Was it because you don t feel like you talk about him enough?
13
SPEAKER_00
What do you mean?
13
SPEAKER_00
I bear his name.
13
SPEAKER_00
My middle name, Randall, is from him.
13
SPEAKER_01
I know, but you never talk about him.
13
SPEAKER_00
I guess I don t.
13
SPEAKER_01
I didn t know you felt that way about him.
13
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, I love him, Monica.
13
SPEAKER_00
He and my aunt Sue, they were so fun.
13
SPEAKER_00
They were younger than my parents.
13
SPEAKER_00
He drove a Corvette.
13
SPEAKER_00
He had a motorcycle, took me for a ride on his street motorcycle.
13
SPEAKER_00
He had this kick-ass sound system in the basement.
13
SPEAKER_00
And the first time I ever heard Erotic City by Prince, which was never on the radio, and nor was it on one of the LPs.
14
SPEAKER_02
It was a backside of a 45 and he had that every time we were at his house He dance party in the basement and we would listen to erotic city.
14
SPEAKER_00
So he was your dad s brother.
14
SPEAKER_02
Yeah younger brother It was a good time Charlie and he and my mom were really great friends because My mom was younger than my dad by one year and then Randy was one year younger than her so in high school They were friends
14
SPEAKER_02
and they had tons of great times together.
14
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, he took us to the drive-in all the time.
14
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
14
SPEAKER_02
Beautiful man.
14
SPEAKER_00
I m glad you said it finally.
14
SPEAKER_02
I know.
14
SPEAKER_02
All right, that s my two cents on Uncle Randy.
14
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
14
SPEAKER_00
In this episode, you said incongruous.
14
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I always do.
14
SPEAKER_00
Just saying.
14
SPEAKER_02
I don t say incongruous.
14
SPEAKER_00
I know, I m just saying you said it.
14
SPEAKER_00
Last episode, we talk about the words you say all the time, and one was that, and then in this episode, you say it.
14
SPEAKER_02
Right away.
14
SPEAKER_02
Delivered immediately on that promise.
14
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
14
SPEAKER_02
I don t think I said over-indexing on that one.
14
SPEAKER_00
I have 33 minutes left.
14
SPEAKER_02
So I have some time.
14
SPEAKER_00
Uh-huh.
14
SPEAKER_00
There s a chance.
14
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
14
SPEAKER_00
When was the Easter bunny invented?
14
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna talk about what history.com says, because that s very trusted, even though it s not an org.
14
SPEAKER_00
According to some sources, the Easter Bunny first arrived in America in the 1700s with German immigrants who settled in Pennsylvania and transported their tradition of an egg-laying hare called Osterhase, or Osterhase.
14
SPEAKER_02
Not as cute.
14
SPEAKER_00
Their children made nests in which this creature could lay its colored eggs.
14
SPEAKER_00
So that s how it started.
14
SPEAKER_00
Eventually, the custom spread across the United States and the fabled rabbit s Easter morning deliveries expanded to include chocolate and other types of candy and gifts, while decorated baskets replaced nests.
14
SPEAKER_00
Additionally, children often left out carrots for the bunny in case he got hungry from all of his hopping.
14
SPEAKER_02
Why wouldn t he eat some of the chocolate he was carrying?
14
SPEAKER_02
Well, he s the last guy I m worried about being hungry.
14
SPEAKER_02
He s moving around with tons of food.
14
SPEAKER_00
He doesn t want to eat the kids  chocolate.
14
SPEAKER_00
He s very nice.
14
SPEAKER_02
There s enough for him and us.
14
SPEAKER_02
I don t think bunnies can eat chocolate.
14
SPEAKER_02
They re like dogs.
14
SPEAKER_02
Really?
14
SPEAKER_02
They ll die if they eat chocolate.
14
SPEAKER_02
You re guessing.
14
SPEAKER_02
Probably.
14
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
14
SPEAKER_00
Okay, now I m on Wikipedia.
14
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
14
SPEAKER_00
The Easter bunny, also called the Easter rabbit or Easter hare, is a folkloric figure and symbol of, I just realized that that s something Wyna would do, is put hair
14
SPEAKER_00
Mm-hmm and mean bunny.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, just keep your eyes out for that.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah chocolate is dangerous to rabbits Okay, that s good to know Folkloric figure and symbol of Easter depicted as a rabbit sometimes just with clothes bringing Easter eggs Originating among German Lutherans the Easter Hare originally played the role of a judge Evaluating whether children were good or disobedient in behavior at the start of the season of Easter time.
14
SPEAKER_02
I knew it.
14
SPEAKER_02
Oh
14
SPEAKER_00
Similar to the naughty or nice list made by Santa Claus.
14
SPEAKER_00
As part of the legend, the creature carries colored eggs in its basket, as well as candy, and sometimes toys, to the homes of children.
14
SPEAKER_00
As such, the Easter bunny again shows similarities to Santa and Christmas by bringing gifts to children on the night before a holiday.
14
SPEAKER_00
The custom was first mentioned in Georg Frank von Frankenau s Diabolos Paszala.
14
SPEAKER_02
It sounded like you went into Polish there a little bit.
14
SPEAKER_00
Translated to about Easter eggs in 1682, referring to a German tradition of an Easter hare bringing eggs for the children.
14
SPEAKER_00
So that was the original thing we talked about.
14
SPEAKER_02
Do we know when it became a nationally accepted where everyone, non-Christians and Christians alike are celebrating it?
14
SPEAKER_00
I mean, that s like same with Christmas.
14
SPEAKER_00
Like just over time, it becomes non-denominational.
14
SPEAKER_00
I mean, my parents never did Easter.
14
SPEAKER_00
That was something they could not get on board with.
14
SPEAKER_00
That s fair.
14
SPEAKER_00
I don t miss it.
14
SPEAKER_00
But you can t miss what you don t know.
14
SPEAKER_00
I said that.
14
SPEAKER_00
Interesting.
14
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
14
SPEAKER_00
I coined that.
14
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
14
SPEAKER_00
That s my phrase.
14
SPEAKER_01
People began to celebrate it.
14
SPEAKER_01
It wasn t until after the Civil War that they began to celebrate Easter.
14
SPEAKER_01
Maybe a bit of a healing.
14
SPEAKER_00
Maybe.
14
SPEAKER_00
But I don t think that probably still wasn t non-Christians for a while.
14
SPEAKER_00
Like now it s just everyone.
14
SPEAKER_01
It was led by Presbyterians apparently.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, they re Christians.
14
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, they sure are.
14
SPEAKER_02
Big time.
14
SPEAKER_02
I love Sebastian.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, he was cool.
14
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, all right, love you.
14
SPEAKER_00
Love you.
14
you