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 When you don't set a goal, you can't fail.
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And so many of us combat failure in our lives.
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So many of us are trying to figure out, how can I become the best version of myself?
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But we can't become the best version of ourselves because we're... Welcome to the School of Greatness.
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My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur.
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And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness.
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 Thanks for spending some time with me today.
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Now let the class begin.
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 I love to keep my workouts fresh and exciting, but it can be so hard to come up with new workouts every single day.
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And that's why I'm so glad that I've got Peloton.
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Because Peloton pushes me farther with so much new on the Peloton Bike and Peloton Bike Plus.
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I'm talking about new classes, new music, and new ways to keep your workouts fun and motivating.
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And it's hard for me to stay pumped up when I do the same types of workouts every time.
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 so Peloton has such a great addition to my routine so I can easily switch it up.
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Peloton has a workout for every day, every schedule and every mood.
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De-stress from a long day with 30 minutes of strength and 20 minutes of cardio or do a quick 15 minute total body class before work and I can stay driven while having fun with bike workouts, yoga, meditation, dance cardio and more.
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 I've been loving Peloton and all its new features and I know you will too.
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Make sure to visit OnePeloton.com to learn more.
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That's O-N-E P-E-L-O-T-O-N dot com.
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 What's been the biggest lesson in the last couple of years of taking your shot, of putting it out there, being on a limb, and then learning about how to handle the opportunities, the success, the fame, the recognition?
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And also, how have you learned how to say yes and no to certain things that might be big, but not right for you at the right moment?
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Two lessons.
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I'll give you one pre-success, one post-success.
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 I'll start with the post-success lesson, because that one I'm learning right now as I'm talking to you.
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Everybody will not like you, and that is okay, because you don't like everybody.
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And you know, I've had to realize, like, yo, people don't like me, man.
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Like, this person's mad at me.
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A black person's mad at me because I'm too nice to white people.
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A white person's mad at me because I'm a race baiter.
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Why don't people like me?
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And then I kicked back and I said, wait a second.
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 I don't like everybody.
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So how can I expect everybody to like me?
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It was something, dude, I've had a hard time to reconcile with because- Because you're a nice guy, right?
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You want to be liked by people.
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That's it.
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At least I try to be a nice guy.
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And in the midst of trying to be a nice guy, I'm still like, why are so many people upset daily?
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And I had to reconcile with that.
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Pre-success.
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 I think it's the old phrase, no one didn't wait till it started raining to build a boat.
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We don't wait until things get crazy to start building.
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And I think what you've learned, what I've learned, what I hope people learn through this conversation
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 It's what you do in private and in silence that ends up getting praised in public.
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It's the wood that you're chopping when nobody's looking.
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It's the paintings that you're drawing when nobody's buying.
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It's the words that you're saying when nobody's listening.
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It's the character you're developing when nobody's watching.
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What you're doing in private is ultimately what ends up getting esteemed in public.
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And what I've learned now retroactively
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 It was the work in private that ended up getting praised in public.
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And you worked for years on developing these skills.
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 Everything.
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Everything.
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Well, what I've learned, dude, in talking to you and watching you, my own life, studying from brilliant minds that have come before us as we try to achieve our own, the greatest creations, individually and collectively, are the synthesis of different creations.
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I think about Velcro.
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Velcro was created, and I'll paraphrase, but Velcro was created when somebody was walking through the wilderness, if I'm not mistaken, and those little annoying pricklies, those little pricklies got stuck to his sock.
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 And they were like, well, if a prickly can adhere to a sock as an adhesive, why can't I create something?
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So you take the concept of a prickly and the concept of a sock and you create Velcro.
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And my life was the synthesis of Velcro.
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 A NFL locker room, a predominantly white private school, a predominantly urban NFL locker room, synthesize those together and create content.
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Perspective.
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Here's a perspective.
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Bingo.
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So everybody just has to figure out what two things can they combine together to become that greatest version of themselves.
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 Yeah, you really became a bridge for a lot of people that didn't see the other side of the river.
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Correct.
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Right?
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There's a river, there's a separation of ideas, thought, understanding, whatever you want to call it, connection.
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And you were able to see different sides and bridge the gap with your own Velcro.
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 Now, for someone who has a gap in their imagination, they see a future that they want to create, they see an idea, a vision, a goal, whatever you want to call it, but they don't know how to become the Velcro and bridge it to get to the other side.
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 What has been your thoughts or your philosophy and your advice on how to accomplish, set, and achieve goals?
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Man, I love that question.
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I love that question.
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Dude, I don't believe in goals.
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I no longer believe in goals.
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Crazy, because I know we're told for so long, set a goal, write it down, live by it.
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True story, y'all.
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Maybe one of the most depressing moments of my life.
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 After my junior year playing football at the University of Texas, Texas' top flight college football program at the time, I submitted my name to go to the NFL Draft.
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I wanted to go professionally after three years.
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But I got back from the NFL a report, a manual, you will not be drafted in rounds one through three.
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You will be drafted in rounds four through seven.
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There are seven total rounds in the NFL Draft for those watching and eventually listening.
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 I'm not going in the fourth through seventh round, I'll come back for my senior year.
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Oh, so junior year?
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Junior year.
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Gotcha.
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So what I said was this, I took that sheet of paper that said, Emmanuel, you won't be drafted in rounds one through three, and I highlighted that line, you won't be drafted in rounds one through three, and I hung it above my bed, and I put one of those little sticks through the wall and the paper in my bed.
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I looked at it every morning I woke up and every night before I went to sleep.
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You know what they say about goals, look at them, commit them to me.
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 Well, while at the NFL Combine, I'm running my 40 at the conclusion of my senior year.
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The NFL Combine, again, for those watching, listening, it is the ultimate job interview if you want to go to the NFL.
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I'm running a 40-yard dash, which will dictate essentially where I will be drafted.
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What round you're in, yeah.
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Exactly.
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 As I'm running, I'm running, I hear this.
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Boom, boom, boom, boom.
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I thought my heels were clicking.
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They weren't.
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My quad was tearing off the bone.
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I clutch at my squad.
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I fall to the ground in sheer agony.
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During the 40s?
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During the 40s.
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When every scout and coach is watching.
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Everyone watching.
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I still have the picture.
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NFL TV is filming.
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It's on ESPN.
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It's the worst.
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Phones blowing up with text.
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Are you okay?
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X, Y, and Z. It's terrible.
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 I clutched to the ground.
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I'll save you all the rest of that details of the story.
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I ended up getting drafted in the sixth round.
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I learned a valuable lesson that day.
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 Stop setting goals, here's why.
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At best, if you set a goal, you will achieve it.
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But what if you could have achieved more?
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At worst, if you set a goal and you don't achieve it, you ruin your self-esteem and your self-efficacy.
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My self-esteem and my self-efficacy, or your self-worth, how you look at yourself, were ruined that day, were undermined that day.
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So instead of setting goals now, Lewis, I have an objective with no limitations.
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Small difference, but that small difference will make a huge impact on your life.
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 A goal by definition is an end towards which energy is aimed.
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An objective is simply directing energy towards something.
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So why, if I'm going to have a goal, would I focus on the end when I'm at the beginning?
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Instead, I direct all of my energy towards something.
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 I start my book, Illogical, which you and I are gonna get into.
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Imagine a life without failure.
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Why?
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Because when you don't set a goal, you can't fail.
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And so many of us combat failure in our lives.
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So many of us are trying to figure out how can I become the best version of myself, but we can't become the best version of ourself because we're still mourning our former self.
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 We're still mourning our failures from our past.
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We're still mourning our defeats from our past.
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We're still mourning our scars from our yesteryears.
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I'm done mourning my scars.
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Now it's all about having an objective with no limitations, similar to that quote, if you shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you land amongst the stars.
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 So, as opposed to creating a goal then, what are you creating?
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Are you not creating something, you're creating an objective?
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Correct, I'm creating an objective.
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So what would it look like then?
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Beautiful.
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People would always ask me when I got into TV, hey Emmanuel, you wanna be like Michael Strahan, right?
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For those that aren't familiar, Michael Strahan hosts Good Morning America, co-hosts NFL Hall of Famer, he's that guy.
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I said no, I don't wanna be like Michael Strahan.
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Because if I say I wanna be like Michael Strahan, I might just be like Michael Strahan.
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 And while that's great for Michael Strahan, he's already taken.
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So why would I want to be like this man who's already taken?
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As great and as great and as great as he is, Michael Strahan's already taken.
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I gotta be Emanuel Acho.
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So when people ask me what do you want to be, I just say I want to be considered one of the most creative people the industry has ever seen.
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 My objective is subjective.
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My objective is subject to people's opinions.
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It's like art.
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Bingo.
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It's exactly like art, bro.
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And let's think of art.
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Little Wayne, one of my favorite verses, he says, when you mention Pac, Biggie, and Jay-Z, just remember Weezy Baby.
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Or when you mention Pac, Biggie, and Jay-Z, make sure you mention Weezy Baby.
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Essentially saying, when you mention the greats of all time, just make sure you mention me too.
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 You're not saying I want to be the greatest, you know what I'm saying?
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He didn't say the best rapper alive, all that.
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But his objective was subjective.
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When you mention Tupac, when you mention Biggie, when you mention Jay-Z, just make sure you mention me too.
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And where I am now at with my desires in life, I don't have goals anymore, bro.
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Because if you have a goal, you can
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 fail and I'm done failing.
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While people say, yo, Ocho, that's crazy.
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Remember, our greatest accomplishments in life are typically crazy.
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They're not rational.
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They're completely irrational.
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They're completely irrational.
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And a quote that I'm hung up on now, I'm hung up on it.
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 Will Smith said in his latest book, he said, remember when somebody gives you their advice, it's just that, it's their advice based on their limited life experiences.
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You and now are a unique combination of which has never occurred before.
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That's true.
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By which you are the best metric of success.
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 You and now, unique combination, never occurred before.
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You're the best metric of success.
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So me and this present moment and this conversation with you, it's never occurred before.
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So how this conversation is going to go is dependent upon you, dependent upon me.
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Me and writing a book, this new book, it's never occurred before.
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So why would I be limited by someone else's
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 It's kind of like what you and I discussed off camera.
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We can bring it on camera.
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I know you wouldn't mind.
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Don't let insignificant people have such significance over your life.
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And that's often what we do, bro.
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Why do you think so many people focus on the insignificance of other people's thoughts and opinions?
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 Because we all want to be liked, man.
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And, and, and.
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And how have you learned to let go of that feeling of being liked or loved or thought in a positive light?
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 when people say things that you don't like?
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Well, my favorite quote, maybe for the last decade, top three favorite quotes, because I'm a huge quote guy.
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One of my favorite quotes.
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And those who were dancing were thought to be crazy by those who didn't hear the music.
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Imagine, and we've all been in this situation before.
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Imagine walking on the beach, biking through the city, and you see somebody just dancing.
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 You'd be like, yo, what the heck are they doing?
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Exactly.
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But maybe they're not crazy.
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Maybe they just had headphones in and you couldn't see.
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Those who were dancing were thought to be crazy by those who didn't hear the music.
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What I've realized, there's come a point in my time in my life where I'm dancing and people think I'm crazy.
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They just don't hear the music yet.
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You're dancing.
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 You start your 1,200 episodes in now, people think you're crazy.
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They just didn't hear the music yet.
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So many people watching this are dancing and people think they're crazy.
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No, the people that think they're crazy just haven't heard the music yet.
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So we have to understand, we're not crazy.
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They just haven't heard the music.
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And that is what keeps me going, realizing, yo, I'm not crazy.
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I'm on my path to greatness.
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 And eventually, they will catch up.
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Yeah.
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So when you see someone saying something negative for whatever reason or anything, how do you handle it internally?
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And then how do you handle it externally?
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Do you reply to certain things if someone's saying something?
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Maybe it's true or it's inaccurate.
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Do you take the energy to defend yourself or respond?
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Or do you just say, you know what?
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OK, this is their opinion.
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I'm going to focus on my vision.
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That's really good.
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 Sometimes I do fall into that cesspool, if you will, of social media.
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It's the worst.
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It's tough, man.
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At times, it can be the worst.
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Social media does great things.
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It clearly has for you, clearly has for me, but it can be the worst.
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I think about this.
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In the jungle, not all animals want to be petted.
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Some just want to roar.
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 It's true.
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And Twitter is the jungle.
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Social media is the jungle.
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In the jungle, not all animals want to be pet, man.
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Some just want to roar.
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And you have to understand, when you log on social media and when you are in those spaces, some people just want to roar.
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And then I also remember, and this is from a movie, another quote, a person is smart, but people are dumb, angry animals.
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 Individually, collectively, you and I are smart.
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But when you get amongst a crowd, then all of a sudden you have that crowd chaos, if you will.
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And I said this because I've been thinking so much recently that cowards turn courageous when they can remain anonymous.
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 Cowards turn courageous when they can remain anonymous.
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And so often on social media and in life, people can remain anonymous.
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In group settings at stadiums, people can remain anonymous.
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Say it to my face.
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Come say this to my face and let's have a conversation.
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We don't need to fight.
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 We can have, I don't, bro.
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I reached out to somebody the other day because, you know, he reached out to me and he was like, he didn't reach out to me.
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He tweeted at me, this was a clown take and not surprising considering the source.
0
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I'm like, you got a million followers on social media.
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We used to work at the same company.
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You can get my number.
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I called him up.
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 Oh man, my bad.
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I regretted it as soon as I said it, man.
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I shouldn't have said it.
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It's on me.
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And I'm like, do we got issues?
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Just let me know.
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But I think people get in the midst of that mob mentality and it's sheer chaos.
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So I will say to your point, it's been hard, as you know.
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Like that journey up the mountaintop.
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 And I'm still trying the journey, but it can be depressing.
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How do you manage it emotionally and manage your emotions when you see something that maybe is seeming unfair or just mean?
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 Man, maybe you're not doing it the best way yet, but you're on the journey Sometimes you just got to step away.
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Yeah, don't respond don't respond and honestly log off I think we have such a mental health crisis right now in society in large part because of social media We are seeing things.
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We were never meant to see we're hearing things We were never meant to hear and we're reading things.
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We were never meant to
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 And we're seeing, hearing, and reading them in a very elaborate manner with a lot of, I don't know, emotion.
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It's like we used to read or see things or hear stories without watching the news in such a way that was dramatized to its worst point to get the attention.
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 This is one of the reasons I don't really watch the news ever.
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I wanna be informed and educated, but I don't wanna be entertained or captivated by my emotions, overwhelmed by watching information as entertainment.
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And so I try to step back and say, tell me the facts, tell me the data, so that I can have a rational thought around it.
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Otherwise, I'll get tied into just watching the news and be like, the world is ending.
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 Yeah, yeah.
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And I think we all have to do a better job of protecting our own minds, our own spaces, what we can take and what we can't take.
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Because you only get one mind, dude.
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And I know you pride yourself on your mind.
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I pride myself on my mind.
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Dude, we only get one.
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And I think we all have to do a better job of protecting our own mental health.
0
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 I grew up in a religion called Christian Science, and the founder is a female.
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Her name is Mary Baker Eddy, and she had a quote that said, stand Porter at the door of thought.
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Don't allow these thoughts to enter the mind continuously, because then it'll damage everything in your life.
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So stand Porter at the door of thought.
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Be a guard at the thought, at the mind, and don't just allow anything to be consumed by it.
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What has been the biggest struggle then for you mentally and emotionally in the last couple years?
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 The biggest struggle is trying to ascend to the mountaintop.
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And the reason I say that, bro, is... To get to the mountaintop?
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Yes.
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Trying to climb.
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What is the mountaintop?
0
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 I think the mountaintop is different for everyone.
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Is that a goal?
0
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For me, the mountaintop is checking boxes.
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Okay.
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Right?
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Like it's checking boxes.
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Give me an example.
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An example.
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Okay, great.
0
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Now I host my own show on sports.
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Speak for yourself.
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Check.
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Check.
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Oh, okay, great.
0
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Now I've partnered with Oprah on a book.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh, another book.
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Oh, a third book.
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Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
Check.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay, but the book has to best sell.
0
SPEAKER_01
Check.
0
SPEAKER_01
It's just like, it's just trying to ascend, trying to do.
0
SPEAKER_01
 And not being dejected when you don't and then bro, I also think Trying to figure out our place on this earth.
0
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Yeah, I think we're all trying to do
0
SPEAKER_01
 When we remove the masks and the makeup, figuratively speaking, of our life, we're all trying to figure out what value am I providing to the people I'm interacting with?
0
SPEAKER_01
What value am I providing to society?
0
SPEAKER_01
Where is my place in life?
0
SPEAKER_01
And I've been constantly, my biggest struggle the last couple years is trying to really figure that out.
0
SPEAKER_01
And now that it appears I've figured that out,
0
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 trying to sustain the heat, excuse me, and the hate that comes with that.
0
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The heat and the hate.
0
SPEAKER_02
Because I don't think people understand that once you have audience and attention, there will be heat and hate.
0
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No matter how pure your intentions are, no matter how kind you try to be, there'll be hate.
0
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But you know what I've realized, man, and my co-host Marcellus Wiley says this, criticism is the cost of praise.
0
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It is.
0
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We don't realize that enough.
0
SPEAKER_01
 Like recently, for those watching sports news, Naomi Osaka, number one tennis player in the world just a couple years ago, she tried to stop a tennis match because somebody said, you suck.
0
SPEAKER_01
Somebody yelled, you suck, and she went to the judge and was like, and went to the end and was like, yo, can we stop the match?
0
SPEAKER_01
Like, can we get them kicked out?
0
SPEAKER_01
Is this recently?
0
SPEAKER_01
Recently.
0
SPEAKER_01
I didn't see this.
0
SPEAKER_01
It was two days ago.
0
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
0
SPEAKER_01
She tried to stop the match and kick that person out.
0
SPEAKER_01
Correct.
0
SPEAKER_01
 And at the end of the post-game presser, tears came into her eyes for different reasons, and I was just like, criticism is the cost of praise.
0
SPEAKER_02
And when you are- If you don't want criticism, don't play the game.
0
SPEAKER_01
It's like you don't have a choice, you know?
0
SPEAKER_01
Don't play, don't show up.
0
SPEAKER_01
You can't play if you don't want criticism.
0
SPEAKER_01
It's not even like you are advising, it's like, yo, criticism comes with it.
0
SPEAKER_02
Here's the funny thing, not to cut you off, is that you're gonna be criticized at the top or criticized for doing nothing.
0
SPEAKER_02
 She might as well do something you enjoy.
0
SPEAKER_02
Because if you're sitting on the couch and you have all this potential, but you don't do something, the people closest to you are going to say, what are you doing?
0
SPEAKER_02
This person has so much potential.
0
SPEAKER_02
Give me their potential.
0
SPEAKER_02
I could do something great with this, but they're just sitting on their couch depressed, worried about people's thoughts or opinions.
0
SPEAKER_02
There's a price either way.
0
SPEAKER_02
 You gotta pay it either way.
0
SPEAKER_02
You gotta pay it either way.
0
SPEAKER_02
Maybe it's greater price as you're climbing and dealing with the more attention, but there's a price either way.
0
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You know what else, man?
0
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And I've realized this too, and it's hit me in the face.
0
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You can't call for attention and hang up.
0
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 Yeah, someone look at me.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, but always say nice things about me.
0
SPEAKER_01
You can't, you can't.
0
SPEAKER_01
And whether we intentionally call for attention or we don't, you can't call for attention and hang up.
0
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Like the boy who cried wolf.
0
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Like us in our friend groups.
0
SPEAKER_01
Like a child in a house cries and cries.
0
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Mother asks, what's wrong?
0
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Father asks, what's wrong?
0
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Nothing.
0
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And what are you crying for?
0
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You can't call for attention and hang up.
0
SPEAKER_01
And so I think there's just a lot of,
0
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 Learning and discovering that I'm doing this journey.
0
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Yeah, the emotional regulation is funny I was just interviewing a Neuroscientist slash brain surgeon.
0
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He's an expert in both areas.
0
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So he studies the brain and the mind right the thoughts and after this two-hour conversation
0
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 The whole thing came down to the number one skill to have is the ability to emotionally regulate your feelings.
0
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And how thoughts, the brain, and the mind are connected to feelings.
0
SPEAKER_02
And the ability to emotionally regulate them.
0
SPEAKER_02
Not saying that you're not going to have a wide range of emotions, but the ability to regulate under pressure, under stress.
0
SPEAKER_02
 so that you can get into flow, that you can get back to your mission, your vision, and not be in chaos mode.
0
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You can defend yourself rationally, essentially, in times of chaos.
0
SPEAKER_02
And he said, that's kind of what it comes down to.
0
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If I could teach a skill, it'd be the skill of emotional regulation.
0
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And I think the farther we try to strive to unlock our potential,
0
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 the more we need to learn that, because the more people are going to be coming at us, it sounds like.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
0
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One, I think that's a phenomenal thought.
0
SPEAKER_01
I think it was Michael Jordan's trainer who said, emotions are dangerous, but controlled anger, or controlled aggression is like the most dangerous of all.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_02
Is that Tim Grover?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yes, Tim Grover.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he's great.
0
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It's like the most dangerous of all.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, because being emotional and reacting, you're gonna fell out.
0
SPEAKER_02
Dang it!
0
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You're gonna do something stupid.
0
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Correct.
0
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Which I did many times in multiple sports.
0
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 And then you learn the lesson.
0
SPEAKER_02
Oh my emotional reaction Gets me on the bench.
0
SPEAKER_02
Mm-hmm or hurts my team and you know, what's interesting?
0
SPEAKER_01
We're talking sports, but this is a life man.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yes life because while you can say foul out literally figuratively speaking if you're at the grocery store and then you get upset and then you get emotional and then you get into it with the the cashier and
0
SPEAKER_01
 Emotionally fouling out if you're talking to a friend and then you get into it with your friend and then you say something you shouldn't have Emotionally fouling out relationship oriented if you're talking to somebody and you're dating and then you get into it So we're talking a sports conversation, but it is the controlling of your mind.
0
SPEAKER_01
But to me, bro Everything starts with them.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, both our greatest limitations and our greatest accomplishments to me It's all up here.
0
SPEAKER_02
Absolutely
0
SPEAKER_02
 Well, what has been the biggest, you talked about living a life without failure or fear of failure.
0
SPEAKER_02
Living a life without failure.
0
SPEAKER_02
What is the biggest fear for you in the last couple of years then?
0
SPEAKER_02
And now that you've, let's call it broken through, right?
0
SPEAKER_02
You were already really successful.
0
SPEAKER_02
I mean, you're NFL player and had a career in sports TV and all these things, but broken through to a different level.
0
SPEAKER_02
What is now the greatest fear?
0
SPEAKER_01
That's why I like talking to you.
0
SPEAKER_01
 I like talking to you.
0
SPEAKER_01
My biggest fear is becoming complacent.
0
SPEAKER_01
My biggest fear is not realizing I'm living inside of a box that is around me.
0
SPEAKER_01
 My biggest fear is not realizing, hey, there's a door you haven't yet opened and what you think is a world is actually just a locker that you are inside of.
0
SPEAKER_01
One of my greatest, one of my favorite scenes of any movie, it's the end of Men in Black, I believe it's Men in Black 1.
0
SPEAKER_01
And at the end of the movie, they open up a locker and they open up the locker and they realize there's an entire another world out there.
0
SPEAKER_01
They thought they were living in their world, but there's such a bigger world out there.
0
SPEAKER_01
And my greatest fear,
0
SPEAKER_01
 is not pushing beyond a boundary, because I don't even realize the boundary is set, because I didn't set it, because somebody else set it.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I've been living inside of somebody else's box or somebody else's boundary.
0
SPEAKER_01
 The reason we don't achieve our highest highs, bro, isn't because we're not skilled.
0
SPEAKER_01
It isn't because we're not talented.
0
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It isn't even necessarily because we don't want it.
0
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It's because we don't realize how high we could achieve.
0
SPEAKER_01
Right.
0
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I think that's the biggest limiting reactant of realizing our highs.
0
SPEAKER_01
One of my favorite stories, if not my favorite story, story of Roger Bannister.
0
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Four Minute Mile.
0
SPEAKER_01
Four Minute Mile.
0
SPEAKER_01
 For those that aren't familiar, Roger Bannister, scientists believed it was physically impossible, impossible, to run a mile in under four minutes.
0
SPEAKER_01
Quick history lesson for everybody.
0
SPEAKER_01
It's my favorite story.
0
SPEAKER_01
Scientists believe it's physically impossible to run a mile in under four minutes.
0
SPEAKER_01
May 5th, 1952, it had never been done in 2,000 years, but by May 6th, Roger Bannister, Oxford, England, runs a mile, three minutes, 59 seconds.
0
SPEAKER_01
Within two years, 10 people ran a mile in under four minutes.
0
SPEAKER_01
 Now, the world record for the mile, 3 minutes, 43 seconds, and roughly 1,800 people have done so.
0
SPEAKER_01
Why?
0
SPEAKER_01
Because one man, Roger Bannister, removed the barriers that other people set around him.
0
SPEAKER_01
One man said, you know what?
0
SPEAKER_01
I'm not going to subscribe to that barrier.
0
SPEAKER_01
One man said, I'm not going to subscribe to goals.
0
SPEAKER_01
One man said, I'm not going to subscribe to that.
0
SPEAKER_01
And he broke the damn open for everybody.
0
SPEAKER_01
 And after that dam was broken for everybody, the whole rest of the running world proceeded to run through it.
0
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So my biggest fear, bro, is living inside of a box that somebody else set before me.
0
SPEAKER_02
So if you don't have goals to break or reach, what are you reaching for?
0
SPEAKER_02
 Like what's beyond a barrier that you're not trying to accomplish?
0
SPEAKER_02
For me, I'm reaching for movement.
0
SPEAKER_02
That's all it is.
0
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I'm reaching for progress.
0
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I'm moving forward.
0
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I'm moving forward.
0
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So it's not reaching an end goal.
0
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No, it's moving.
0
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It's moving forward, man.
0
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Like you, you're gonna do another episode tomorrow, and hopefully it's better than today.
0
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And then the next tomorrow, and hopefully it's better than that day.
2
SPEAKER_00
 weight of gold, powerful about how Olympians, not all, but some of them get extremely depressed after they accomplish the gold medal or the Olympics.
2
SPEAKER_00
Some even commit suicide and these different things because what's next?
2
SPEAKER_00
And I'm living from this past now as opposed to something greater for myself.
2
SPEAKER_00
 So how can we, when we accomplish, when we succeed, when we get recognition, significance, develop deeper sense of self-love as opposed to you go from an eight to a six and a half.
2
SPEAKER_00
I'm not saying it's bad or something, but how do you stay at an eight or improve as you make more impact in the world, as you accomplish more and have more that you've received?
2
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That's my question for you on how you can do that personally and how we can support others in doing that as they accomplish.
2
SPEAKER_01
 I think it's a constant journey.
2
SPEAKER_01
I'd be lying if there was an answer.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think it's a constant journey.
2
SPEAKER_01
And again, I've referenced it so many times, but I felt so seen in reading Will's book because he was like, I was my own drill sergeant.
2
SPEAKER_01
 his own drill sergeant.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I think it's a constant journey, man, of trying to say like, hey, it's okay to fall.
2
SPEAKER_01
It's okay if one of your books don't best sell.
2
SPEAKER_01
It's okay if a conversation doesn't go as great as you thought.
2
SPEAKER_01
It's okay if this date didn't go as great as you thought.
2
SPEAKER_01
It's okay if this relationship ends.
2
SPEAKER_01
It's okay if this job isn't for you.
2
SPEAKER_01
It's okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
 And I think it's that constant exploration of saying like, yo, it's okay not to be okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
And what you just said is like, dude, what happens if you lose it all?
2
SPEAKER_01
You're back where you were two years ago.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I think- Where you were at eight, self-love.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think it's reconciling that.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think it's reconciling like let go of that fear of failure.
2
SPEAKER_01
 Because I've let it that's why I stopped setting goals is to let go of that but now it's like now that you've achieved
2
SPEAKER_01
 It's okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
To me, again, it's just a matter of like, hey, you've made it.
2
SPEAKER_01
But if we're being honest, there's just a dichotomy that I'm figuring out along this a lot.
2
SPEAKER_00
I think this will be powerful for you over the next few years or whenever you figure this out to share with me or share with your audience.
2
SPEAKER_00
 how people can accomplish, achieve, and have the responsibility of success, and continue to have immense self-love.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I think it comes, for me, what I've learned is letting go of the expectation of the accomplishments.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know, my last book, my first book was a New York Times bestseller, and then there was an expectation.
2
SPEAKER_00
I gotta make the next one a New York Times bestseller.
2
SPEAKER_00
Probably the same for you.
2
SPEAKER_00
I gotta make this as big, if not bigger.
2
SPEAKER_00
 And I remember going into it saying, my last book, I was like, you know what, I'm writing a book that's probably not gonna be the biggest thing ever, because it's talking about how men can be more vulnerable.
2
SPEAKER_00
And it came out right when Me Too happened.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I was writing this a couple years before, and it came out during it.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, this could either be the biggest thing in the world, or this could be like the last thought people have, is how men can heal their hearts.
2
SPEAKER_00
And it did well, but didn't hit New York Times Best Seller list.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I remember for a day, I was like,
2
SPEAKER_00
 If I'm being honest, I was upset and angry and frustrated that it didn't hit the numbers, but it didn't hit the list.
2
SPEAKER_00
 And then I said, what was the reason why I wanted to write this in the first place?
2
SPEAKER_00
It was to be able to help one man who might be going through mental challenges or struggles to heal and improve the quality of their relationship with their partner, their friends, their family, and then their community and the world.
2
SPEAKER_00
And it's been doing that.
2
SPEAKER_00
It's been continuing to do that year after year.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I'm just like, I gotta keep focusing on the impact and the significance, like you call it, the service to one human being or thousands or millions, whoever wants to listen or read or consume.
2
SPEAKER_00
 And when I, it took a few days to kind of let that go, my ego go of being hurt or frustrated or angry.
2
SPEAKER_00
And when I did that, I just said, okay, I'm gonna just really appreciate the people that are reading it, that are messaging me and take it in and be like, wow, that was impactful to that person.
2
SPEAKER_00
And that's been a big game changer for me.
2
SPEAKER_00
It still doesn't mean I don't want to accomplish goals and all these things and succeed in my own right, but.
2
SPEAKER_00
 letting go of the expectation of it needing to look a certain way has been extremely helpful for me still loving myself.
2
SPEAKER_00
 even with the success.
2
SPEAKER_00
It's hard to do, though, because the bit you get, people expect it, you expect it.
2
SPEAKER_01
It's the expectation.
2
SPEAKER_00
And they'll look at you differently.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, why didn't it get in New York Times this time?
2
SPEAKER_00
Or why didn't it do a million copies this time if it did half a million last time?
2
SPEAKER_00
Or that video got five million views, why did this one get a million?
2
SPEAKER_01
To me, there's such a fear of, in life in general, in my mind, of other people's expectations of you.
2
SPEAKER_01
Gosh, so how do we let go of that?
2
SPEAKER_01
 I've journeyed with it, and at times I do well with it, and at times I don't.
2
SPEAKER_01
I'll say it in story form.
2
SPEAKER_01
Mortuous Q is phobia.
2
SPEAKER_01
Mortuous Q is phobia.
2
SPEAKER_01
The fear of catch-up.
2
SPEAKER_01
True thing.
2
SPEAKER_01
Sixth grade, bro.
2
SPEAKER_01
Sixth grade, I'm at my friend's house eating a burger, and his older brother walks in and he throws something at the table.
2
SPEAKER_01
My friend runs and hides behind the chair.
2
SPEAKER_01
I'm like, yo, what the heck just happened?
2
SPEAKER_01
 I look at what his brother threw at the table, and I see it was a ketchup packet.
2
SPEAKER_01
After checking on my friend, I bust the packet open, I finish eating my fries, and I was like, wait a second, I rethought about that story and learned a lesson.
2
SPEAKER_01
 We can't be afraid of other people's fears.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so often in life, we're afraid of other people's fears.
2
SPEAKER_01
Imagine if I would have ran and hid because of a ketchup packet like my friend did.
2
SPEAKER_01
Friend was afraid of ketchup, more choose-cruise phobia.
2
SPEAKER_01
I am not, but I'm not gonna hide because he was hiding.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I think what I've done at times is being afraid of other people's fears.
2
SPEAKER_01
 So we all do like we're afraid of getting into a relationship because our friends are afraid of commitment.
2
SPEAKER_01
We're afraid of getting out of that toxic relationship because our friends are afraid of being single.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, we've never left a small city in Texas.
2
SPEAKER_01
Our parents haven't so we're not going to and I think the only way to get rid of that.
2
SPEAKER_01
 is to let go of other people's fears, let go of other people's expectations.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because truth be told, it's other people's expectations that kind of dictate the weight of our own imagination and success.
2
SPEAKER_01
When you think about one hit wonders in the music industry, they're one hit wonders because we called them that.
2
SPEAKER_01
We called them a wonder and we said that song was a hit.
2
SPEAKER_01
 So I think it's a matter of not being afraid of other people's fears and letting go of other people's expectations, which dictate our own, man.
2
SPEAKER_01
If you could go back, when was the post you did, the first post, two years ago?
2
SPEAKER_00
It was June 1st, 2020.
2
SPEAKER_00
June 1st, 2020.
2
SPEAKER_00
If you could go back.
2
SPEAKER_00
 the day before June 1st, and have a conversation with yourself from where you are now to that day, and you're about to go in and do this thing, or maybe it's the morning of, and you're about to put this video out that you've been thinking about, and you wrote the script to, or you didn't write the script, I think it was all off the cuff, but you've been organizing in your mind for a period of time, and sit down, if you were gonna literally stand face-to-face and have a conversation with yourself almost two years prior, what would you say?
2
SPEAKER_00
 before you jumped in and did this video?
2
SPEAKER_00
With everything you know now, what would you say?
2
SPEAKER_01
I would say two things.
2
SPEAKER_01
The first would be, breathe, it's going to be okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because I couldn't eat that morning.
2
SPEAKER_01
I didn't say anything.
2
SPEAKER_01
I'd say, breathe, it's going to be okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then I would say, buckle up.
2
SPEAKER_01
Your life is about to change forever.
2
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because when I recorded that video, I lived in Austin, Texas.
2
SPEAKER_01
I now live in Los Angeles, California.
2
SPEAKER_01
 When I recorded that video, I worked for another sports network.
2
SPEAKER_01
I've since switched.
2
SPEAKER_01
When I recorded that video, I had no team outside of a broadcasting agent.
2
SPEAKER_01
I now have a team of like five to 10 people.
2
SPEAKER_01
When I recorded that video, I wasn't in partnership with Oprah.
2
SPEAKER_01
I now am.
2
SPEAKER_01
I would say buckle up, man.
2
SPEAKER_01
Your life's about to change forever.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I'd say prepare yourself.
2
SPEAKER_01
 because it's about to be a rollercoaster of good and bad.
2
SPEAKER_00
What did you need to prepare yourself?
2
SPEAKER_01
How could you have prepared yourself more?
2
SPEAKER_01
Emotionally.
2
SPEAKER_01
Emotionally.
2
SPEAKER_01
I could have let go of my desire to please all people.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think it's Abe Lincoln.
2
SPEAKER_01
You either please all people some of the time or some people all the time.
2
SPEAKER_01
 I could have prepared myself.
2
SPEAKER_01
Nobody prepares you, in my mind, for how to be well-known, unless you're the son of somebody famous, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
And famous relatives, that's why I said well-known.
2
SPEAKER_01
Nobody prepares you for that.
2
SPEAKER_01
And nobody prepares you for the constant opinions of other people, bro.
2
SPEAKER_01
It's hard.
2
SPEAKER_01
I had a depth of loneliness after I first saw you, maybe a month later, in December of 2020, just...
2
SPEAKER_01
 depressed.
2
SPEAKER_01
Really?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, because thousands of people, I love you.
2
SPEAKER_01
Thanks for the conversations.
2
SPEAKER_01
But then I'm sitting in my house in Beverly Hills just by myself, just, you know, no friends, middle of a pandemic, just isolated.
2
SPEAKER_01
 Nobody prepares you for the constant comments, Ocho, you're a sellout.
2
SPEAKER_01
Constant comments, Ocho, you're a race baiter.
2
SPEAKER_01
Ocho, you're a race grifter.
2
SPEAKER_01
Nobody prepares you for that.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I would have told myself, buckle up.
2
SPEAKER_01
It's gonna be tough, but it'll be worth it.
2
SPEAKER_00
And if you were sitting in front of yourself right now, your two-year-old self, older than today, what would you say to prepare you
2
SPEAKER_00
 for these next two years.
2
SPEAKER_00
Your future self.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, what would it say to this self?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_00
And with everything that you've created and learned and are going to learn, and you have this experience now, your future self, what would your future self say to you?
2
SPEAKER_00
Enjoy the process.
2
SPEAKER_01
 Enjoy the process.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think the biggest thing I've forgotten, and I think the biggest thing so many people can forget, we forget to enjoy the process.
2
SPEAKER_01
We forget to enjoy the journey.
2
SPEAKER_01
The fun isn't winning, but you can still find joy in the journey, win or lose.
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And at times, I don't enjoy the process because I'm so focused on moving.
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 that I don't enjoy where I am.
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When you have an objective without limitations, it's all about movement, man.
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It's all about movement.
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But you gotta enjoy the journey.
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These conversations, enjoy them.
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Your third book.
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Dude, I'm the only person not named Oprah to have multiple books under the Oprah imprint.
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That's crazy, man.
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Enjoy it.
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Enjoy it.
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I didn't know Oprah 17 months ago.
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She walked right by me.
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Now you got three books.
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Now I got three books.
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So enjoy the journey.
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Enjoy the process.
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 I think everyone needs to hear that for sure.
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Illogical, saying yes to a life without limits, Emmanuel Acho.
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This thing is going to be inspiring.
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Lots of great lessons, wisdom, stories.
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 Yeah, and don't let other people's fears become your own.
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That's what I just opened up.
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So the first thing I opened up right there.
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So don't let other people's fears become your own.
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Powerful stuff, man.
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I got a couple of final questions for you.
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I asked these same the last time.
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Before I ask them, I want people to follow you on social media.
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You got great content over there.
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If you love sports,
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 And Life Lessons, you always have these great moments when you're at the sports desk sharing your life lessons, which I love that stuff.
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Get the book Illogical, Saying Yes to a Life Without Limits.
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Make sure you guys check this out.
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Get a few copies for your friends, share with people.
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And if anything, when you're reading it, you'll get a handsome smile on the back of the book.
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So make sure you spread the light and love with your friends.
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 This is called The Three Truths.
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I asked you last time, and I've got your three truths here.
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I'm curious if it's changed.
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This was your last day, and you've accomplished everything you want to accomplish.
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And you've lived as long as you want to live, but eventually you've got to turn the lights out.
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And you can't leave anything behind.
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Your message, your content, your books, there's none of this behind.
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So all of your words and content goes with you somewhere else.
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But you had three things you could share with the world, three lessons.
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 I'd like to call three truths.
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What would you say were yours?
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Ooh, that's so funny because it's been what, 18 months and I don't remember what I said last time.
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I can't wait for this.
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I think my...
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 My most important truth, love God, love others.
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I think I'll never flinch or waver on that.
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Love God, love Jesus, love others.
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That's me as a man of faith.
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I can't waver from that.
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I think my second biggest truth,
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 Man, I love this and I've forever loved it.
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You're worth getting to know.
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You're worth getting to know, man.
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I think that's hit me more now than ever, bro, is like people don't realize they're valued and people don't realize like you are worth getting to know.
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Absolutely.
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My third biggest truth.
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Where would it be right now?
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If I could only leave a truth.
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 You have the ability to change the world.
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You truly do.
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And I just wish people would believe that.
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Changing the world looks different for different people, but you have the ability to change your world.
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Those would be my three.
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What were my three last time?
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If people wanna know, they have to go listen to the previous one.
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 You had two of the three identical.
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So if people want to know what they are, they'll have to go check that out.
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We'll have it linked up for you to listen to that.
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Before I ask the final question, Emmanuel, I want to acknowledge you, man, for your constant growth and your commitment to service.
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I think people can get scared of success or they can get scared of the growth as fast as you've had it, and the fact that you keep showing up, keep delivering, and I think learning about yourself in this process is really beautiful, and keep serving.
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 It's really cool, man, and I just am excited to know that you're continuing on this journey, that you're gonna keep showing up.
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I don't see you stopping anytime soon.
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No matter what happens with books and projects and other stuff, just keep serving, and I really acknowledge you for being authentic to who you are, man.
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It's a beautiful, beautiful thing to witness.
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My final question, what's your definition of greatness?
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Ah.
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That's definitely changed since.
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My definition of greatness.
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Oh.
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 My definition of greatness would be
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 Stepping outside of the box that others have built around you and constantly becoming the greatest version of yourself.
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I don't like using a definition of definition.
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So stepping outside of the box that others have built around you and constantly becoming the best version of yourself, constantly evolving.
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We have to constantly evolve and learn to fall in love with the evolutions of ourselves.
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So now step outside of these boxes, bro, because there is a box there.
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 Step outside of it, let's evolve, and let's just become the best version of ourself, man.
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My man, appreciate you.
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My freaking brother.
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Good stuff.
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Thank you so much for listening.
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I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness.
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Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's show with all the important links.
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And also make sure to share this with a friend and subscribe over on Apple Podcasts as well.
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 I really love hearing feedback from you guys, so share a review over on Apple and let me know what part of this episode resonated with you the most.
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And if no one's told you lately, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter.
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And now it's time to go out there and do something great.