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Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine, hosted by me, Danielle Robay.
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And me, Simone Boyce.
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Every weekday, we re bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.
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I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side.
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You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice that they want to share.
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Listen to The Bright Side on America s number one podcast network, iHeart.
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Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side.
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Something that makes me crazy is when people say, well, I had this career before, but it was a waste.
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And that s where the perspective shift comes, that it s not a waste, that everything you ve done has built you to where you are now.
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This is She Pivots, the podcast where we explore the inspiring pivots women have made and dig deeper into the personal reasons behind them.
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Join me, Emily Tish Sussman, every Wednesday on She Pivots.
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Listen to She Pivots on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Get emotional with me, Radhi Devlukia, in my new podcast, A Really Good Cry.
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We re going to be talking with some of my best friends.
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I didn t know we were going to go there on this.
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People that I admire.
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When we say listen to your body, really tune in to what s going on.
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Authors of books that have changed my life.
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Now you re talking about sympathy, which is different than empathy.
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Never forget, it s OK to cry as long as you make it a really good one.
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Listen to A Really Good Cry with Radhi Devlukia on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Some of the deepest fears I have are, like, related to a historical pattern of behavior or thinking, which I don t know that I was even conscious of.
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We ve starred in some of the biggest movie franchises of all time.
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Please welcome Orlando Bloom.
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Orlando Bloom!
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I think that our deepest fears, they often lie in areas unknown to us, because anything that I try to hold onto doesn t serve me, and that s really hard.
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Hey everyone, I ve got some huge news to share with you.
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In the last 90 days, 79.4% of our audience came from viewers and listeners that are not subscribed to this channel.
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There s research that shows that if you want to create a habit, make it easy to access.
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By hitting the subscribe button, you re creating a habit of learning how to be happier, healthier, and more healed.
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This would also mean the absolute world to me and help us make better, bigger, brighter content for you and the world.
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Subscribe right now.
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Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the place you come to become happier, healthier, and more healed.
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Today s conversation is long overdue.
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I ve been excited for this guest to be in the studio for many, many years now, and I can t wait to have what he just called a heart-centric conversation.
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My favorite types of exchanges and interactions.
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Today s guest on On Purpose is the one and only Orlando Bloom,
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well known for starring in some of the biggest movies of all time whether it s the lord of the rings or pirates of the caribbean and so many more and orlando will next be seen starring in peacock s limited adventure docu-series to the edge which orlando also produced and premieres on april 18th this is something i ve already had a snapshot of already a sneak peek i can t wait for you to see i think it s going to challenge you
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internally and externally, and I think it s going to help you get out of your comfort zone this year.
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So make sure you don t miss To The Edge.
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Welcome to On Purpose, Orlando Bloom.
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Orlando, thank you for doing this.
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Thanks for having me, Jay.
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It s really an honor to have you here because I feel like we don t know each other.
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No.
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We ve never met or spoken.
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Feels like it though.
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Yeah, it feels like it.
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And even today when we were just talking when you came in, I was like, why is this so easy?
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Mystical.
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I like it.
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What is it about, you know, you were saying you re new to the world of podcasting, but it seems to be something you re opening yourself up to.
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Where s that coming from?
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Well, first of all, I love what you do.
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Thank you for having me.
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It s so beautiful to see the messaging you put out in the world.
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To the Edge is the first time I ve worked in a unscripted space.
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And I m very proud of it.
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And I thought I d try, you know, like I, I haven t intentionally not done podcasts.
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I just haven t.
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And I, and I ve been wanting, as you said, to, to work with you for ages.
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So I was like to at least sit down and have a conversation with you.
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And I, I tried to get to one of your, your, your, your speaking engagements, which I wasn t able to, but it s like, I just thought this is an opportunity to like have a heart centric conversation.
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And I love the messaging you re putting out.
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And actually, you know, edge is a show that,
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came up, it was the the birth child, the brainchild of a period of time that I think was really challenging in the world for everyone, you know, through COVID, where I think fear was sort of around all of us, we were all like, wait, well, you know, what, what are we, what are we living through?
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This is so unique.
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And I was it was sort of palpable in my environment.
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And
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I m not, I m not comfortable with fear.
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I m like, I m always like, I run into it.
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I would like, I like, I want to transform it.
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I want to like, I want to, you know, it s people say, what are you afraid of?
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Right.
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You know, sharks.
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I m like, I m afraid of fear, you know, because it s like, I want to confront anything in my life that feels challenging on those levels.
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So actually, initially,
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I would love to have spoken to you on my show.
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I had this idea where I would speak to people, you know, and also people like in blue zones and spaces in the world where people like, have just got it figured, they ve got it dialed, whether it s through diet, lifestyle choices, and all of the things that you speak about.
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It s like, I was like, I want to go and explore the people in the world that do that.
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And I ve had this amazing opportunity with UNICEF for many years, 20 years now almost.
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And so I ve sort of been in communities where I ve seen how an impact, what a great impact positivity can have, right?
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Which I think is the message of UNICEF, also the funding that they support for communities.
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So I was like, I want to go and talk to people, but we didn t really get, we got no hits.
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Nobody was really interested in me doing that.
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I think there s also a Blue Zone show that is apparently epic as well.
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So how about we just throw you out of a plane and see if you can swim to the bottom of the ocean and we ll throw you up a mountain.
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I was like, I can do that.
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You know, it also feeds into my sort of adrenaline sort of fueled sort of aspects of my life, I think, you know, as a kid.
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You know, I was, I think I just was so active and physical and sort of approached life with that fearlessness.
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And in some ways, you know, that was a blessing, but I came definitely came out banged up and bruised.
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I think I had a, I was diagnosed with dyslexia when I was like maybe nine, 10.
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So I had some extra schooling in that space.
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And that really helped me because I had, I had a kind of,
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unusually high iq but i just was really challenged at focus and concentration i think i was probably undiagnosed early on with like probably adhd which i ve subsequently kind of come to realize that was definitely something that i ve um
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I ve been navigating and now I ve kind of found my way through to the sort of magic of what that can be for me.
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Do you remember your earliest fear as a kid?
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It s funny because I m an actor, but I used to just be terrified of getting on stage.
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No way.
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I had real stage fright as a kid.
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I was, I was actually, my mother
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enrolled me into a ballet class as a kid.
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So until like, I think from probably a toddler, a tiny toddler until I was maybe four or five.
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And I think at around four, we did this performance in Canterbury at the Marlowe Theater, which is the biggest theater in town, pretty big theater actually.
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And we did a little ballet show, which was just me as, there was probably a whole lot going on and I m four, so I don t entirely remember, but I do know that I was dressed in a monkey suit.
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I remember having a really hot itchy monkey suit on
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and having an itch on my bottom, and I was a little embarrassed, so I turned around to scratch my bottom so nobody would see me, but the whole audience just ripped, because, kind of cute, right?
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So I think my first fear was, like, I think it, like, being on stage, so I kind of, you know, I did all the National Youth Theatre stuff in London, I did youth theatre, everything I could do at school was my sort of start, and I was just constantly, every time I did it, like, I used to remember walking on stage, and I d be like,
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My mum used to do this, you know, my mum had this one thing and she d shake her fist at me.
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It says a lot about my mum.
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But she d shake her fist and say, you can do it, you know.
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And so I had this thing and I d sort of go and then I,
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I was quite, um, you know, I was, I was confirmed in the cathedral of Canterbury by the archbishop of Canterbury, cause it was like where I from and stuff, which kind of a big deal.
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So religious practice was always kind of a part of my life.
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Um, so I d always sort of say a prayer as well and think, and then kind of go out and do it.
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And I d like, and it was like never more focused than when I was on stage.
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And that was a great feeling because otherwise I think I was struggling in school to, to, to articulate my thoughts or follow or continue my thought thread.
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Um, so yeah, I think fear for me was that, which is ironic because of course now I m, you know, then I went on to being an actor, but, but, uh, and also I have a, you know, I think at 16 I moved to London, which was quite young and I was on my own to do my a levels.
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And, and it was when I was 16 that I met a Buddhist practice.
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so early yeah so i was very young to meet a buddhist practice and it was a philosophy you know and uh and it is a religious practice but it s way more of a sort of philosophy and almost like a guide to life if you like for me what was it about it at 16 that resonated with you i think
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that having left um the sort of institutionalized schooling that you and I both recognized from London and England rather not London I was in Canterbury but I went to a private school I had a pretty solid middle class education but so it was like it was like there was sort of uh you know chapel every morning you know and so I had a I had that sort of in me and I think I really enjoyed that but when I moved to London I didn t have I didn t find a church or find a community
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And it was when I was studying for my A levels, I realized that I needed extra art for my sculpture exam, which I hadn t thought through.
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I d given up art quite a young age, I just didn t have a teacher that I didn t just it was unfortunate.
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So I met through my best friend.
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I met an artist, he introduced me and I did extra classes, I d sort of go back to Kent, he was actually from Kent.
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So I go down on the weekends, and I d, he d set me up in a room, and he d say, with an easel, and he d say, here, just do this.
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And I d hear him in the other room, and he d be going, and I d be like, just carry on.
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And one day, so I walked down, so what are you doing?
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He goes, I m just I m just chanting that you re going to be really successful in your exams, you have a really successful life.
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I was like,
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cool.
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Well, will it help?
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He goes, yeah.
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I was like, great.
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So I just got down on my knees.
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I was like, and so David, who is, who I ve known since I m like, yes, maybe 17, 16 or 17, but he, he was, he, he is, he, he shackled me, which is what we call in my practice, where it s where someone introduces you to the practice.
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So he is,
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And he was wonderful because he, he sort of at 16, I was living in London and I was a real terror away.
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I mean, I was like a club kid.
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I was like having a really good time.
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Everything was like, you know, I mean, I was, I wasn t, I don t want to mischaracterize myself because in some ways I always knew what I wanted.
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So I kind of had a sort of self discipline regulator almost, but I didn t go too far, but I always pushed the boundaries of what was I could do.
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And I was having a really good time.
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And, and I was like, and I said, well,
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you know, he explained it in a very sort of simple way to me, but it was like, I was like, well, can I chant for these things that I ve kind of, you know, like, but it could have been anything.
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And he was like, yeah, sure.
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And sometimes it was like, well, I want to have a really good night and this, that and the other.
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And, and he was like, see what happens.
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And, and I would, and sometimes I d wake up with a really sore head and I d be like,
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Oh, okay.
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So words like integrity, wisdom, courage, compassion, things that were like, were started to come filtered at a young age into my, into my thinking through also the writings of Daisaku Ikeda, who s my mentor.
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And so it was like, it was just, it was this perfect moment for me because I think I always wanted a roadmap.
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I think there s an art to living.
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And for me, this philosophy is, for me, it s a way for me to understand the art of living.
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And I think it s really like the law of cause and effect.
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And I think all religions kind of mix and match and meet.
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The central core of all practices, I think, is one of
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you know, good, goodwill, I believe, right.
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But there s almost like science, like cause and effect, what goes up must come down.
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It just sort of, it worked for me as a, as an idea.
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And so, yeah, I became a, but it took me four years.
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I mean, I, I shakabuka my sister, my best friend, and it was like, and they, and one day my best friend goes, well, I m going to go and get Gohonzon.
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Gohonzon is this scroll that, um, we, we chant to.
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And, uh, I was like, wait, you what?
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So I m getting Gohonzon.
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I was like,
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And he d been chanting for like maybe, I don t know, six, eight months.
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And I was like, God, I was like, okay, I ll join you.
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I ll do it.
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I was like, I ve been doing this for four years and I hadn t, or, you know, years and I hadn t.
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So yeah, I became a member of the SGI, which is the organization.
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And that was, yeah, when I was nine, a bit later, cause I d started chanting, but I just used to just, I chanted and it was like, it kept me in rhythm and, and it, and it was, and that s really, for me, it kept me in a flow.
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It s like the rhythm of life and,
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In a way, when I was doing my sculpture exam, I remember I was painting a whale bone and a lemon or a pineapple.
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It was a whale bone and some kind of piece of fruit.
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And I was like, I d look at it.
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I d be painting.
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It was a 15-hour still life oil painting exam.
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I had a still life drawing exam as well as the sculpture.
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I d go to the toilet.
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I d be like, no, no, no, no, no.
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Come back.
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And I d be like, and finish the painting.
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And I think like, yeah, I, I got the highest grade and then the, they called and said, we d like to keep this work as the highest grade for the country kind of thing is like, like, this is the bench.
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And I was like,
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I hadn t been doing art and I so I really tested it and it was you know I think I think the power as you you know you know when you set an intention and and at such a young age you know for young people for young people today I think having something like something that you can trust and I think you know I really admire
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I think it s hard to have faith.
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With the chanting and with the practice or the habit of that, what were some of the more philosophical lessons or principles that became anchors or a compass in your life at that time?
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Were there certain teachings or lessons that stood out and you re like, oh, these are going to form the principles that I m going to live by?
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Yeah.
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So many.
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Those Akawakeda, fortunately,
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He s, well, has written extensively and it s very accessible.
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For those who don t know, please tell us.
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So Daisaku Ikeda is my mentor.
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He was, he is, he brought this practice from Japan around the world.
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It was, you know, it was in the 60s.
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I think he is when he left Japan and traveled first to Hawaii.
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and the founding members of this practice, many of whom are wonderful Japanese women who have been living around the world.
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He brought this practice to 193 countries I think now.
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His mentor, Jose Toda,
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and before that Machiguki, Jose Toda s mental Machiguki, in the 60s in Japan, brought this practice forward and Daisaku Ikeda really made it accessible.
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He wrote extensively, he s written a book about his life, he s written from a
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another perspective, it s like, it s him, but it s written as another person, isn t that the person?
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What if it s not the same?
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But if it s, it s him, but it s not, it s he s got a pseudonym for who it is.
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Yeah, right.
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So he, but it s just, it s,
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I think there are so many ideas within the practice, but at its core, it s like, I just find that through chanting, you say, Nam, I devote myself, Nyoho Renge Kyo, to the mystic law of cause and effect, through the vibration of sound, and the sound is Nam Nyoho Renge Kyo.
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Myoho Renge Kyo is the title of the Lotus Sutra.
1
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And as you may or may not know, but yes, you know, Shakyamuni, our Buddha, the Buddha, said our father, he wrote sutras, meaning teachings, and in the last eight years of his life, it was the Lotus Sutra before he passed that he sort of proclaimed as the teaching that would lead
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all living beings to enlightenment in this lifetime.
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And so that s why we chant Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, Myoho Renge Kyo being also the title of the Lotus Sutra.
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And then I recite two chapters from the Expedient Means of the Lifespan chapter from the Lotus Sutra, which is part of this practice, which is beautifully Japanese, because it traveled from India through the Silk Paths and landed in Japan.
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And it was Nishin Daishonin, who was in the 1270s, 1270 around then.
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So you call it the 13th century.
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He propagated the teaching, and he brought this teaching to the world at that time.
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So he enshrined in Sumi ink the Gohonzon, which is, as I sort of said, that scroll that I chant to.
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He enshrined it with Sumi ink, and he
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because he recognized that sort of humans needed something, a mandala, something to look at.
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And really it s like polishing my mirror.
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So I, excuse my ADD, Brian, but it s like polishing my mirror.
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So I think about when I chant, I think about, in India it was like a bronze mirror and you polish it and then you see your reflection, right?
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So the more I chant, the more I see my reflection.
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And then I see the things or like a, it s like a tea leaf, a glass of tea.
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And I m just like staring away and it comes to the surface and you re do chanting.
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I think as you get older and I have, you know, two beautiful children and
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you realize that like, it s sort of, I think death is a big part of life.
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And it s something that we, some people can be very uncomfortable with or challenged by and we re mystically, you know, here for such a short period of time relative to everything.
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And this practice is like kind of constantly preparing you.
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And it s sort of so the obstacles that you see in life, because essentially, you know what, the way that I ve learned through my practice is that we re born, we grow old, we ll get sick and we ll die.
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And so will everyone around us and hopefully nobody we love too soon.
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But the truth is, you will lose.
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And there is.
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And I think that when you can see the obstacles in your life, and it may be just waking up in the morning and getting a bill that you can t afford to pay.
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Or you know for somebody or when you when you take the obstacles in your life as the opportunities for your growth when you when you reframe it as.
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Wow because the truth is at least my truth through my practice is that.
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we re never not going to have opportunity, obstacles, right?
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And it s just how we see those obstacles and whether they become our benefit.
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So it s like painting a canvas, right?
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Like, when I broke my back, or when I had, you know, near death experiences, or, you know,
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experiences i say about a few kind of interesting things in my life or heartbreak or a heart reveal or you know something that happened in school or things like those are the deep colors in your canvas otherwise everything s a sort of like plain nice you know and you want those rich textures right or at least i do so i find i found that um that that you know the practice has given me the the sort of the pathway and and by the way i am like
2
SPEAKER_00
I, I, I intentionally sabotage myself.
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You know what I mean?
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I mean, I literally, I m like, I m like, I m not chanting.
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I haven t, I haven t chanted because I m like, I get in my own way.
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You know, I m far from like, I m like literally, you know, and I ll get picked up on it by, by friends.
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I keep a, I have a very, you know, I have David and my best friend, Mark and Chris, and Chris, who s in the show, actually, called Gibbo.
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we all practice.
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And so we kind of keep each other kind of accountable a little bit as well.
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But, but as you get older, you know, I think you, you know, you probably experienced in, in, in your own way, but it becomes so much harder, you know, just to keep that kind of that faith in everything because, because, but it s been for me that it s been, I think I was such a young age to get it.
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You know, I know people who are born into it because, you know, their parents, you know,
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were certain.
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And that s like this, you know, fortune baby, I call it.
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And that s so blessed, you know, such a blessing.
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But, but the eight winds is something that Nishunda Shonin wrote this book.
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I didn t intend this to be awful.
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I love it.
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It s beautiful.
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I m just like riffing.
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It s beautiful.
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He wrote, he wrote, he wrote the Go Show and, and it s like letters to his disciples.
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And it s crazy because they re like, they re written in 1220, 1270 something in the 13th century, but they re so weirdly current, like, it s a bit because it s like, there s a samurai, Shingo Kinyo, who I kind of like, see myself as like, maybe I was, you know, like, I have this like, nice idea of who he was, but like, he had, he had shared the practice with his master, and his master was like, giving him all these lands.
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And then all these other samurai were jealous.
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And so they re like, they
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tore his character down and he was banished.
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And then he managed to kind of come back because of his practice and communicate to his Lord.
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And it kind of worked, but it s like, we know that story.
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It happens in every office or in every city, or at least, you know, we ve heard it time and time again.
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So they re so sort of current and relative, but absolutely a white, the eight winds is a really great, um, is one that I grew up.
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A wise man is not swayed by the eight winds of praise censure on a disgrace
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pleasure, suffering, prosperity, decline.
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And, you know, that is really powerful, you know, and that was one that just like, for me, it was like, you know, just
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I don t think I ve, I think I ve been swayed many, many a time.
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How does one not get swayed by praise?
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And what was the second word?
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Praise and censure.
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So the opposites.
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Yes.
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Yeah, exactly.
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Yeah.
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So how does one not get swayed?
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Yeah.
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I think, I think as a, as a, as a younger man and I don t like, I feel I m young at heart, so I can t.
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You look young, man.
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I m going to tell you that.
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Some years ago.
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When I was what I feel like really in the eye of the storm and just like my whole life was just like tabloid fodder in some ways.
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It felt like constantly in anything I did.
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I think that was really challenging for me.
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It was like, and I don t think I handled, I don t think I didn t have any kind of major meltdowns, but like, I was really upset about how my character felt like it was being dragged.
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Actually, it s why I started an Instagram account, which I did some, I started very late in the game.
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But I only did it because actually, my partner Katie had said, it s a really good way to gather the reins and create a narrative.
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And like, now I know it s like, I don t know how many people even really use.
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There s so many different new things, media platforms, you know, but
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in a way it kind of was able, it sort of helped me to kind of create my own narrative at least and to put messaging out that I felt was, you know, reflected my whole, my, my ideas and views, you know, which obviously are mostly very centric, centered around my practice.
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Um, and Daisaku Ikeda really, his writings.
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I love seeing you post about Daisaku Ikeda.
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He says some, he has, he has, well, beautiful things and,
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So yeah, I mean, you know, so I think, um, I just, I just kind of, my practice definitely helped me with that.
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It was definitely anchoring.
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I think, um, I think I kind of, I got very good at hiding, which I would never encourage.
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And if, you know, but in a way I kind of like, I got very good at putting a hat on and going, moving through the world without, and you know,
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If I could go back, I would probably say to that kid, like, you know what?
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Shine it, bro.
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Just be, you re here to make mistakes.
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And if they re public or private, you know, they re the mistakes that you will, that s that deep purple in your canvas.
2
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Yeah.
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Just it s, it s not really how you go down.
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It s how you get up.
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Right.
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So, and trust your heart, you know, trust that you re in the, in, in the flow.
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And that s, that s something that I don t think I had a lot of.
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You know, as a kid, so as you, as you, as you move on, you just go, well, the noise just eventually subsides.
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And now I m like, have a perspective on it just from years.
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And I m like, it s, it s, it s, it s, it s, it s helped to know, you know, I like, I think it s, but that was, it was definitely through chanting that I, I think in my practice and friends and the community that I had around me at the time.
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And also being on the road and working so much, I think I just didn t, most of it was just like hardly, didn t really look at it, didn t really pay attention.
2
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Hearing you say that, I mean, what s beautiful is that it often feels like so many of these lessons can only be lived and understood when they re lived, but it s helpful to know the lesson you re learning and how it fits in.
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It s almost like you had to go through that.
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You couldn t have asked yourself to deal with it better or do better at the time.
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But the fact that you had this,
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lesson, philosophy, practice to guide you.
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Yeah, fall back on or to like kind of understand, look at, give me perspective.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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For sure.
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That was a massive blessing.
2
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Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
When you re talking about fears and your first fear all the way through to this, obviously when you watch the show, there s this
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feeling of the external fear, right?
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Like the idea of jumping out of a plane, the idea of rock climbing, all of these things are naturally inherently scary.
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What s the internal fear when you re doing it?
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Like what is the dialogue that s going on?
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Because obviously you re quite a reflective, thoughtful individual.
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What s really the fear?
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Because it obviously isn t jumping out of the plane for you.
2
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Yeah.
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I think it comes back to trust.
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and faith, right?
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And self worth, right?
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There are protocols that you follow, like all of these, like adrenaline junkie athletes, that you see, you know, maybe posting a 15 second clip on on a social media page, have spent their lives, and potentially weeks, days, years, hours, to
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perfect, whatever it s you re seeing for a 15 second moment.
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And, you know, like Luke Akins jumped from like the stratosphere without a parachute, landing in a net.
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Camila Jeba, who is, who was my free diving coach, along with Will Trubich, who was, who runs this vertical blue competition in the Bahamas, where I was diving.
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supreme athletes who, you know,
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Camila has swum to, she s the Mexican world record holder of like 80, 80 plus meters now.
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That s a, you know, I, I think I got to 37 meters in about four days, which was like a hundred and a few hundred.
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And I was really struggling because of my mask.
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I had, I think I, I wish I d not worn a mask.
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I wish I just like had goggled like the, I wish I d, I d thought that through.
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Cause, but I had some issues with equalizing, but,
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you know, and or Mo Beck, who s this adaptive climber who just, you know, was born with one hand and started climbing as a child and just, you know, is the woman in her field doing what she does.
3
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And it s like a glass heart, you know, it s just overflowing.
3
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These people are just overflowing.
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But what it is, is that they are,
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experts and they it is a life choice almost right so in a way like people have said to me oh have you gone back to doing the freedom that the wingsuiting or the and i m like i really can t wait to do that but it s like it s not something you just dip in and out of you know it s a real lifestyle choice and it s a commitment and it s it s something that gives you excellence and i think the so so trusting in that moment
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that everything you, trusting myself, for me it was about becoming capable, right?
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In a way, like learning to follow the protocols, learning to be present enough to take on board everything that s being told to me so that I can apply it to the moment that I m in.
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So when I m in the plane, I m about to jump, and I m really, you know, I think the, to be fair, I think the climbing, I got such potty mouth on the climbing, because I was so frustrated and terrified by the gear, by the knots, by whether I tied it right, or whether the rope was gonna hold me, or whether I was gonna, and mostly because actually I had Mo s life in my hands, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, so, but it was, I think, becoming capable
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and having that like education and then being accountable for myself.
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So in the moment where the fear is really kicking in, it s just trusting, like kind of coming back to what everything I ve learned from my practice was trusting your life, having faith in your life.
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I think faith is so important.
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And I think misguided faith is sometimes so challenging for us as a species, because it s led to so much heartbreak and conflict, but actually,
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I really admire people of faith because most people of faith, if it s not misguided, are really doing everything they can.
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And because it s my Buddhist practice, we re trying to be respectful of all faith.
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You know, I kind of feel like I know my path is the right one.
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I wish everyone would join me on this, but I totally respect that everybody has their path.
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And I think that s what it comes down to, right?
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Respect.
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So it s like a bit of the whole show was a bit of a human experiment for me.
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And I think the experiment and the lessons that I continually learn was a bit of like self-respect.
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becoming capable, trusting my life and trusting that this was part of an important and necessary part of my life.
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And I, after all, I d chosen to do it, you know, and I could find myself at times in these like super challenging, physically challenging moments, mentally, physically, and emotionally, they were all totally different.
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So, you know, like wingsuiting just was,
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it s super unnatural to jump off a plane.
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And then I think what Luke said to me was that I m probably the first person to have jumped at 26 jumps.
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So 25 jumps, I got my, my, my, my a license for skydiving and my 26th jump.
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was in a wingsuit, but he had me on this trajectory, but he knew from what he was watching and, you know, we were working every day for, you know, a few, not even that long, but he knew that I was capable to do it.
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So the free diving, I just didn t know if I was going to come back up.
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I was like, wait, well, what if I, cause I had, and I think I was emotionally really challenged by this idea, like respecting my life, you know, treasuring my life,
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because I think in some ways in my youth, treasuring my life, valuing my life, understanding the value of life and being grateful for it in a very profound way.
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Like I think I have, you know, a stadium of angels or Buddhas or however, whoever you want to call them.
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But, and with climbing, it was like, I d find myself in these moments, as I said, I d be like,
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I d be like, I m really having a hard time here.
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And I would with, you know, I d have, I had this, um, one of my assistants who became a producing partner who was working with for so long, who knew me so well, but I would just be like freaking out.
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She could see I was freaking out, but I was freaking out about something like, why am I wearing this t-shirt?
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What does this t-shirt mean?
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You know what I mean?
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It was so, so interesting how the mind, right.
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It s like you become, you know what I mean?
3
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Instead of just,
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getting in your, you know, I became very, um, I was like trying to control, control the, control the environment, control the things because I felt so out of control.
3
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Like this t-shirt is not the right tee or whatever it might be.
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You know, it was like for me, it didn t, it could have been anything, but it was like, because I needed to control whatever I had possible, you know, on me because I felt so kind of out of control in some ways.
3
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So it was a human, I felt like it was a human experiment.
3
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Honestly, I was like, I was like, how much does it take for me to crack?
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, how much pressure before I, and what does that look like in some ways?
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, so, but in a way, like, you know, that was the, you know, I kept coming back to Namyo Renge Kyo.
3
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you know, you, you, what is meant for you is not going to go away, right?
3
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It s not, and this is, but it s also, it was my first time in an unscripted world, right?
3
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You know, I think because of the nature of my upbringing, dyslexia and education, that was such a challenge, although I got it all, did it all.
3
SPEAKER_01
This is trusting my heart, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
You re trusting your experience, right?
3
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I mean, that s what you ve done so well.
3
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You ve like, you re able to communicate from the heart, listen, be present,
3
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And you know what I mean?
3
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And come in with the, with the points that like, like, oh, wow, you re, you re actually absorbing and, and taking that on.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I think, and, and sharing and putting a message out, but it s sometimes hard for people, you know, especially I think, you know, when you re younger.
3
SPEAKER_02
The Therapy for Black Girls podcast is an NAACP and Webby award-winning podcast dedicated to all things mental health, personal development, and all of the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves.
3
SPEAKER_02
Here, we have the conversations that help Black women decipher how their paths inform who they are today and use that information to decide who they want to be moving forward.
3
SPEAKER_02
We chat about things like how to establish routines that center self-care, what burnout looks and feels like, and defining what aspects of our lives are making us happy and what parts are holding us back.
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SPEAKER_02
I m your host, Dr. Joy Harden-Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, and I can t wait for you to join the conversation every Wednesday.
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SPEAKER_02
Listen to the Therapy for Black Girls podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
3
SPEAKER_02
Take good care, and we ll see you there.
3
SPEAKER_03
Tune in to the new podcast, Stories from the Village of Nothing Much, like easy listening, but for fiction.
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If you ve overdosed on bad news, we invite you into a world where the glimmers of goodness in everyday life are all around you.
3
SPEAKER_03
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SPEAKER_03
I m an architect of cozy, and I invite you to come spend some time where everyone is welcome and kindness is the default.
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When you tune in, you ll hear stories about bakeries and walks in the woods, a favorite booth at the diner on a blustery autumn day, cats and dogs, unrescued goats and donkeys, old houses, bookshops, beaches where kites fly, and pretty stones are found.
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SPEAKER_03
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Listen, relax, enjoy.
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Listen to stories from the Village of Nothing Much on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
3
SPEAKER_00
Something that makes me crazy is when people say, well, I had this career before, but it was a waste.
3
SPEAKER_00
And that s where the perspective shift comes.
3
SPEAKER_00
That it s not a waste, that everything you ve done has built you to where you are now.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is She Pivots.
3
SPEAKER_00
the podcast where we explore the inspiring pivots women have made and dig deeper into the personal reasons behind them.
3
SPEAKER_00
Join me, Emily Tisch Sussman, every Wednesday on She Pivots, as I sit down with inspiring women like Misty Copeland
4
SPEAKER_00
Brooke Shields, Vanessa Hudgens, and so many more.
4
SPEAKER_00
We dive into how these women made their pivot and their mindset shifts that happened as a result.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s a podcast about women, their stories, and how their pivot became their success.
4
SPEAKER_00
Listen to She Pivots on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I mean, I think when I m listening to you right now.
4
SPEAKER_01
These adaptogens are great.
4
SPEAKER_01
My mind is firing.
4
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I m like, I m going to have more of this.
4
SPEAKER_03
Good, I m glad.
4
SPEAKER_03
We ll get you another.
4
SPEAKER_03
Are you finished with that one?
4
SPEAKER_03
Do you want another one?
4
SPEAKER_03
When I m listening to you right now, and I really appreciate you going there because
4
SPEAKER_03
Of course the external is hard, but I love how you boiled it down to that idea of trying to control the little you think you can control in the midst of the fact that you can t control any of this.
4
SPEAKER_03
And it s interesting how that is such a great metaphor for life.
4
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Somehow, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
because we re all trying to control everything we can control and what we can t control not recognizing that so much is outside of our control and that makes us in life feel helpless and it can often make us retreat and hide and disappear but when you re climbing
4
SPEAKER_03
A mountain, you can t disappear, like you can t retreat from that, right?
4
SPEAKER_03
It s almost like you have to sit in that discomfort and you have to sit with that emotion, which is actually what real life is demanding of us, but we find a way to kind of hide it, push it away, deal with it.
4
SPEAKER_03
And so it s the most physical, real way.
4
SPEAKER_03
I remember when
4
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And this is what I think hopefully the show will encourage people to do.
4
SPEAKER_03
We all have something that s uncomfortable for us, whether it s internal or external.
4
SPEAKER_03
And I think everyone needs a friend who encourages them to do some extreme sports now and again.
4
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My wife needs less encouragement than I do.
4
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As life has gone on, I ve become a bit more reserved.
4
SPEAKER_03
And I had a friend a couple of years ago who made me do skydiving, who made me do crazy things with him.
4
SPEAKER_03
And I was really grateful for that.
4
SPEAKER_03
because it made me realize how many blocks I had up here that I was unaware of.
4
SPEAKER_03
I thought I d conquered so many blocks, but there was still so much lack of trust and so much lack of
4
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that feeling of, oh, actually I can sit in discomfort.
4
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I was almost trying to get away from discomfort because at one point in my life I d put myself through so much of it.
4
SPEAKER_03
I now just want it to be in a comfortable space, which is fair.
4
SPEAKER_03
But one thing you say in the docuseries, kind of in the beginning was this idea of, you say, being on the edge makes me feel most alive.
4
SPEAKER_03
But then at the same time, I see you as someone who really values the little things day to day.
4
SPEAKER_03
And obviously with your Buddhist practice is mindful and present.
4
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How do you reconcile the two?
4
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Because, you know, if you re feeling all this adrenaline and this extreme sport, and that makes you feel alive, but then how do you also feel alive in the tiny moments of maybe being with your kids or being with Blue as we just, your beautiful dog that we were just with now.
4
SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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I think, you know, it s such good questions.
4
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I think to let,
4
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Two things and I want to come back to that question, but I think in a way like what are the parts of the show.
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is like, what did it take for me to be remarkably present?
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Look, I m one of the most privileged people I consider myself.
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The experiences that I ve had in the world, in life, I feel just so grateful all the time.
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I wake up feeling grateful.
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And I feel that partly that s my practice to giving me the opportunity.
4
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But for some people, it s like, look, just getting up from the couch and going to the kitchen
4
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what does it take for them to do that?
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I know through COVID, which was the idea was that what does it take for that person just to go to the park, just step outside, take your shoes off socks off, stand in the grass and look at the trees.
4
SPEAKER_01
And just that may be all it takes.
4
SPEAKER_01
But it may be so challenging for one person that for that person.
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SPEAKER_01
So like,
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Yes, for me, you know, when I was kind of raw docking it with my all my kind of add and just things happening, I was just like, in it.
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I say that because when I say raw doggy, I mean, I was just like, I ve subsequently found like a really amazing, like peptide, which is fantastic.
4
SPEAKER_01
This helped me really kind of connect my thoughts at times, because sometimes it s really disjointed.
4
SPEAKER_01
But in a way, I love that about my thinking, because it kind of is sporadic.
4
SPEAKER_01
But, um,
4
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for some people, as I said, the hope for the show for me was like, it took me, okay, for me, who, you know, arguably, throughout my life, has really, you know, loved the thrill, like, if I m going really fast,
4
SPEAKER_01
either on a motorcycle or in a car or whatever it may be, I feel like I m more focused.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like I m more likely to have an accident at 30 miles an hour than I am at 60 miles an hour, you know, because I m just, I switch into some other mode and it s kind of true for everything I ve done in my life.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like if it s really up against me, then I m gonna step up in a whole other way.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like for example, Lord of the Rings, where I was like my first movie really,
4
SPEAKER_01
And I m with Ian McKellen, and Ian Holm, and Christopher Lee, and Viggo Mortensen, and even Elijah, who I d seen in movies.
4
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And these amazing actors, all of whom had so much experience.
4
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And it was an amazing gift.
4
SPEAKER_01
But it was also like, OK, step up.
4
SPEAKER_01
And the blessing of that.
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SPEAKER_01
So I think you kind of take that high of these insane things that you re doing.
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But it s all really like relevant to like, sometimes I can wake up in the morning and I just can t figure out even which way to go.
4
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You know, I m like, I can feel like, I m like, wait, what?
4
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I m so grateful, but wait, what am I?
4
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My brain is like, it s like trying to bring it online and it can, and it can be really overwhelming in terms of, you know,
4
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So it s like, back to chance, back to breath, back to presence, back to stillness, back to gratitude, back to like, I had this, I think I had this kind of really remarkable plant journey, medicine journey.
4
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And, you know, I set an intention around the feminine, because we touched on my mother briefly.
4
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And I was like, you know, my mother gave me this, which is wonderful, and loved me wholeheartedly and was in boarding school at the age of four.
4
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So it was like, she didn t really have a full, you know,
4
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sense of what nurture and things was, but she was so love is and remains so loving, and a great opportunity for me to continue to grow and evolve.
4
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But I set an intention before I was like,
4
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Cause I d wanted to ask Katie to marry me.
4
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And I was like, I just need to kind of check in.
4
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And I d never done, you know, this particular medicine.
4
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And I was like, I want to just, so I, I flew somewhere to meet this and I, and I d set this intention around the feminine.
4
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Right.
4
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And it was like, and basically the three points that came out, I was like, am I clean?
4
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Am I good here?
4
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Can I do move forward with this?
4
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Because it s important to me to know that I m clear.
4
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Right.
4
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And, uh,
4
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And so it was with Aya, right?
4
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So you get this feeling of, and somebody had explained to me that you have this amazing feminine energy coming at you.
4
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And I think you re supposed to do three cups and I took five.
4
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Well, I wanted to have this, I was just waiting.
4
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I was there and I didn t, I was just on a couch with this amazing room of musicians and this wonderful guide.
4
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And he just looked at me at six in the morning.
4
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And he was he had been journeying with me.
4
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And he was like, you want more?
4
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And I was like, one more.
4
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And then I had this like, sensation of lightness.
4
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And this, I think basically, it s like our minds, right?
4
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You re like, you re exploring aspects of your mind that
4
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the neuro pathways that you just haven t like looked at right you understand that it s the map of your mind right that s kind of and you ve disconnected your ego enough to be humble enough to take on and i and this message was well first of all just be grateful look at your life right second of all
4
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you don t have an issue with women.
4
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You know, look at your life, wonderful women in your life.
4
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And even if, even if there are aspects of women in your life that you have, it s all been part of your evolution, but maybe the feminine in you.
4
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It was like, so maybe you could nurture a bit more of the feminine in you.
4
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I was like, okay.
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But it was like nurture.
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I guess the creative artistic side, just like pondering and poetical and things that I hadn t.
4
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But the last one that I remember that was so, it was like, whenever you re with somebody, it may be the last time you see them again.
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You just don t know.
5
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So make it great.
5
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What have you got to lose?
5
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You may never see this person again.
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We don t know.
5
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Life is like, you don t know.
5
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So just make it great.
5
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Cause I had a young age.
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I d had a real challenge.
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I d have people come at me consistently.
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Right.
5
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And I d be like, and I d be in whatever mental state or moment that I was in.
5
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And sometimes I was like, you know, I mean, you know, and, and all they want is this moment.
5
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And it s so easy for me to just go, Hey,
5
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Yeah, photo, sure.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
5
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No problem.
5
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And then carry on.
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Sometimes it was just like, you know, I could, it felt like almost acid because I was just, it didn t, what it represented at a different time in my life was, was a restriction.
5
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Right.
5
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And I wanted to feel free.
5
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But I think that moment of that thing for me was like, you may never see this person again.
5
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I don t know.
5
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Life is not built like that.
5
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So just make it great.
5
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It s not hard.
5
SPEAKER_03
Right.
5
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Or at least,
5
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leave it with that, you know?
5
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So I think that was the, did I answer the question?
5
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Yeah, yeah.
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No, I mean, so much.
5
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You gave me so much more to unpack there.
5
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I love it.
5
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I mean, on that point, I do think if we lived in a world where you genuinely believed that any moment with anyone could be your last.
5
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Yeah.
5
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The way you d speak to them, the way you d look at them, the way you d listen to them would just transform.
5
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And I m sure you have friends.
5
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I have friends who ve lost parents, partners, people, and they all regret their last conversation with them because it was conflict or it was an argument or it was a debate that they didn t need to have.
5
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They ve been in conflict, who knows, yeah.
5
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Yeah, and they didn t know that that was going to be the last time.
5
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And I ve spoken to friends who ve held that for so much longer because it becomes such a hard release to know that you could have, should have, would have said something differently.
5
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Might have done it differently.
5
SPEAKER_00
Might have done it differently.
5
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But going back to what was revealed to you and even that, I mean, I look at relationships
5
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as such a area where so many of our fears are brought to the surface.
5
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I found this with my own wife, like we ve been together for 11 years and married for eight.
5
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What s the secret?
5
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And it s this, it s being comfortable with the idea that she is also the deepest mirror I ll ever have.
5
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because no one in the world sees all of my flaws, all of my mistakes, all the moments when I m not perfect.
5
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I always joke about how my wife knows whether I meditate this morning or not.
5
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No one else does, but my wife knows.
5
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My wife knows whether it was quality or whether it was distracted.
5
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My wife knows whether I left my socks on the floor.
5
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Whether it s silly or deep, she s in a position and
5
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when your partner doesn t abuse that authority and doesn t use it as a form of control, but actually reflects back some care and compassion, it can be a really, it s almost like you can t grow without it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Have you, what have, what have you, what scared you about relationships and what, like you said, you had no problem with women.
5
SPEAKER_00
That wasn t a thing, but what was revealed to you in your relationship
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
5
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What s been revealed to you in your relationship is a better question.
5
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I think I think I m constantly learning to let go.
5
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Because anything that I try to hold on to, whether it s good or bad,
5
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doesn t serve me, not in the relationship.
5
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And it doesn t really serve either of us.
5
SPEAKER_03
And that s really hard to keep letting go and to keep letting her go.
5
SPEAKER_03
You know, the idea of, cause I think when you re in a deeply loving, committed relationship, you want to, you want to control or own or have or,
5
SPEAKER_03
And, you know, even just letting go of ideas of how things should be, or the idea of what intimacy or intimate moments are to you versus them, or how, you know, whatever it may be, because everybody, because you ve chosen that person, you re on a journey with that person, you know, you re going to learn this lesson.
5
SPEAKER_03
And if you ve chosen that person, then that s the person you re going to learn that lesson with.
5
SPEAKER_03
You know, I mean, that s the opportunity, right?
5
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That s, yeah, that really resonates.
5
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I feel like that s why we d rather let go of the person and have a new six month period with someone new because you don t have to let go in that six months.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like that six months is almost full of holding on and every idea and every hope and possibility remains intact.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like you don t have to dismantle it or question it or break it down.
5
SPEAKER_00
But you are so right that
5
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the amount of misconceptions I ve had to let go of as we spend more time together.
5
SPEAKER_03
And I think it s going to change every day, right?
5
SPEAKER_03
Absolutely.
5
SPEAKER_03
It s like every day you choose, I choose you.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_03
Because also, you know, your wife is changing, right?
5
SPEAKER_03
Seven years from now, she s going to be a completely different human.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_03
You have no idea, right?
5
SPEAKER_03
you know, you can, I mean, you, you, you clearly have been around each other and you do probably know, know, have a sense, but we don t know.
5
SPEAKER_03
It s the same thing as like, I may never see that person again every day.
5
SPEAKER_03
It may, you may never see that version of that person again or whatever, you know, whatever it may be, but like, yeah, we re just, you know, we have, we, I m forced, I, I, I seize the opportunity.
5
SPEAKER_03
every day to grow.
5
SPEAKER_03
And as you see from the show, I ll never choose the easy path.
5
SPEAKER_03
Like it s just not who I am.
5
SPEAKER_03
And you know, in some ways my relationship
5
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is the greatest opportunity for my continual growth.
5
SPEAKER_03
And, you know, and I know, we both see it that way.
5
SPEAKER_03
So that s how we grow.
5
SPEAKER_03
And we do.
5
SPEAKER_03
And she will not, you know, she ll hold me accountable.
5
SPEAKER_03
And I ll do the same.
5
SPEAKER_03
And sometimes, you know, you ll be confronted by your own self, you know.
5
SPEAKER_03
And I think, you know,
5
SPEAKER_03
yeah, trust, right?
5
SPEAKER_03
Trusting your path, your journey, your faith, that this is what s meant for you.
5
SPEAKER_03
And then, you know, the universe will take care of the rest and, and making mistakes and going, okay, I did, that was, yeah, did that.
5
SPEAKER_03
Sorry.
5
SPEAKER_03
I, I, I sort of am like, there s no, yeah, I think, I think I ve, you know, seen how learning more,
5
SPEAKER_03
Like the mistake, I think, like, I think very early on in life, actually, weirdly, I didn t enjoy making mistakes.
5
SPEAKER_03
Does anybody, I don t know, maybe some people really do, but I didn t, I wasn t comfortable with messing up.
5
SPEAKER_00
It would be hard to find someone who enjoyed making mistakes.
5
SPEAKER_03
And yet anyone, any sage or worthy will tell you it s not, it s only through mistakes that you grow, right?
5
SPEAKER_03
So it s like going, okay,
5
SPEAKER_03
you know, like that s where the, where the, that s where the rich stuff is.
5
SPEAKER_03
That s where you re gonna.
5
SPEAKER_03
So I just try to keep growing, um, and, you know, accepting and, you know,
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
How does it feel to introduce your Buddhist practices and teachings to the kids?
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, how does that work?
5
SPEAKER_00
I m fascinated by it.
5
SPEAKER_03
Well, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_03
I really, I just, I say, Nam-myoho-renge-kyo to Daisy and she ll say, I say, sometimes I m the other side of the world on a movie, she ll be like, I say, Nam-myoho-renge-kyo and she ll be, Nam-myoho-renge-kyo.
5
SPEAKER_03
I think, and Flynn chanted, you know, from, I did the same with him and,
5
SPEAKER_03
I don t like, so Flynn s mother has a beautiful faith in life, I think, and I really respect it.
5
SPEAKER_03
And I don t challenge any of the things, his views that he s obviously imbued through his mother.
5
SPEAKER_03
you know, I, I, we, we, we love to go on walks.
5
SPEAKER_03
I love to go on walks with my son and, and we talk a lot.
5
SPEAKER_03
I try to, you know, and at different stages, look, he s 13 now.
5
SPEAKER_03
So it s almost like dad is getting pushed aside.
5
SPEAKER_03
And I kind of know what that feels like.
5
SPEAKER_03
I was the same, you know, so I m not, I try not to take it personally and I miss him.
5
SPEAKER_03
And I m like, I just texted him.
5
SPEAKER_03
I love him and I miss him.
5
SPEAKER_03
But we have these wonderful walks and talks, and I kind of just, throughout whatever we re saying, I try to keep reinforcing just the undercurrent philosophy and thinking of my practice, and which is just, you know, are you respecting?
5
SPEAKER_03
Are you, you know, if there is that kid in class who s not, you know?
5
SPEAKER_03
are you?
5
SPEAKER_03
Are you supporting that kid?
5
SPEAKER_03
That s not getting the support?
5
SPEAKER_03
Because that s where you ll find the richness, right?
5
SPEAKER_03
Because I kind of like, I know that s in his heart as well.
5
SPEAKER_03
I see it.
5
SPEAKER_03
And funny, he said to me, Dad, you know, I m really good at just bluffing.
5
SPEAKER_03
And I think like, but this is him at 13.
5
SPEAKER_03
You know, flexing a bit in this way of trying to like,
6
SPEAKER_01
like trying to kick, I m like, and he s like, yeah, but dad, I just knew that would, that would be the thing that people would approve.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m like, good.
6
SPEAKER_01
We ll just keep working that then.
6
SPEAKER_01
Cause even if you re thinking, we ll try and make you say you re going to do, just keep working that.
6
SPEAKER_01
Even if it s, even if you think it s like you re putting on a show, fake it till you make it, you know what I mean?
6
SPEAKER_01
Just keep doing the, just keep trying to do the right thing.
6
SPEAKER_01
And eventually you ll start to realize what the right thing is.
6
SPEAKER_01
Right.
6
SPEAKER_01
But I love to walk and talk with him and, and I, I just don t overwhelm him with it because
6
SPEAKER_01
In my faith, I believe by saying Nam Myoho Renge Kyo.
6
SPEAKER_01
Say to me, Nam Myoho Renge Kyo.
6
SPEAKER_01
Nam Myoho Renge Kyo.
6
SPEAKER_01
So by saying this once, you never have to say it again.
6
SPEAKER_01
You protected seven generations in your past, seven generations in your future.
6
SPEAKER_02
Thank you for that gift.
6
SPEAKER_02
That s beautiful.
6
SPEAKER_01
So I believe that, deeply believe that.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I believe that sometimes I will just walk up to somebody and say, just say Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, just once.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I ll tell them that and then I ll walk away, whatever.
6
SPEAKER_01
And it d be like, I believe that it s like finding a needling that either hates that.
6
SPEAKER_01
And if you, so you never have to do it again.
6
SPEAKER_01
You ve done it seven generations.
6
SPEAKER_02
I ll see it every time I see you now.
6
SPEAKER_01
And if you ever good.
6
SPEAKER_01
And if you ever, and if it was something that resonated with you at the time or a moment.
6
SPEAKER_01
then great.
6
SPEAKER_01
I, you know, I encourage people to do that.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s not, you know, I m like, well, this is how you do it.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s not a, it s not a meditational process, right?
6
SPEAKER_01
Like a meditation.
6
SPEAKER_01
I do as well.
6
SPEAKER_01
I have a meditation TM practice, but for me, it s like yoga for the mind.
6
SPEAKER_01
You know, it was like when I m really stressed out, I feel like, you know, that too much coffee.
6
SPEAKER_01
Do you ever get really stressed out?
6
SPEAKER_02
You seem so chill.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m no, I m sitting here opposite Jay Shetty.
6
SPEAKER_01
Do you want me to show you the other side of me?
6
SPEAKER_01
No.
6
SPEAKER_01
I mean, like you can see, you ll see the climbing episode.
6
SPEAKER_01
You ll see the party mouth and the I m like, no, I m like a red line.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m like, I really like, mostly I m like, I can really, you know, I can be in the red, like,
6
SPEAKER_01
Um, and that s something that, that I just try to navigate, but I like that.
6
SPEAKER_01
I embrace it.
6
SPEAKER_01
I accept it.
6
SPEAKER_01
Absolutely.
6
SPEAKER_01
You know what I mean?
6
SPEAKER_01
It s like I can be on in that space.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s like, it s like the difference between driving at 30 or 60.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s like, obviously I would, you know, God forbid you wouldn t observe the speed limit because there are children and things, but like, I know what, you know, so sometimes I can be really intense.
6
SPEAKER_01
Emotionally.
6
SPEAKER_02
How have you accepted the parts of yourself that most of us judge, criticize, or feel uncomfortable, granted that they re not affecting other people?
6
SPEAKER_01
Aside from chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
I think because of that practice, I m constantly looking at that, but I think it s time, honestly.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I think it s experience because the experiences have taught me that
6
SPEAKER_01
you know, shame is not my friend, guilt, shame.
6
SPEAKER_01
If you spend any, if you, if you overly, if you spend too much time in that negative thought pattern,
6
SPEAKER_01
You know, we re light energy.
6
SPEAKER_01
We re like little planets, right?
6
SPEAKER_01
But if you broke our bodies down, I was having this conversation with somebody who was giving me a massage the other night.
6
SPEAKER_01
She s this amazing woman.
6
SPEAKER_01
And she was like, but we re like little galaxies.
6
SPEAKER_01
If you actually dissolved us, the trillions and billions of, you know, cells and everything, it s like a little, it s like a little galaxy.
6
SPEAKER_01
So we re all little galaxies going around the planet, right?
6
SPEAKER_01
In a way.
6
SPEAKER_01
So all of that energy, which as you know, and talked about many times, but it s like, it s whatever you re saying you become, right?
6
SPEAKER_01
As we all know, these, all these old adages are so true.
6
SPEAKER_01
So it s not like, but so yeah, it s, I think for me, it s like, I, the shame game doesn t work.
6
SPEAKER_01
I don t want to, I don t want to receive it from anyone.
6
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I did this, I had this amazing experience and I went six years ago, maybe seven years ago now, seven years ago.
6
SPEAKER_01
More than seven years ago, nearly eight years ago, I went to the Hoffman Institute, which is this wonderful, and it was, I d had a really, I d been seeing Katie for a year and had broken up, and then we d sort of, no, we hadn t actually, we d broken up, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
I d been seeing her for a little while, and then we had broken up, and we got back together.
6
SPEAKER_01
You know, the young love weirdness of trying to find things, but I d been triggered
6
SPEAKER_01
into this really unique pattern of behavior that I felt I d inherited from my mom, right?
6
SPEAKER_01
This thing of like, see me, I m here, you know, with my mom, I m over here, you know, I think, you know what I mean?
6
SPEAKER_01
And trying to get the attention, right?
6
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, oh, one of the worst years internally I can ever remember because I felt like I was playing a part instead of being a part.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I was just, cause I had so many feelings
6
SPEAKER_01
And I was so and I was in water that it was uncharted.
6
SPEAKER_01
So a dear friend of mine, Buddhist, had an actor friend from New York had had suggested that I do this two years ago, and I hadn t picked up on it.
6
SPEAKER_01
James was seen this amazing actor, human, just wonderful person.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I was like,
6
SPEAKER_01
sort of remembered when we d had this breakup.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I d remembered I d taken my passport, left everything else and walked into New York because we d been in New York.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then I was like, got on a plane home.
6
SPEAKER_01
But before I got on a plane home, I went to his house because it was like five in the morning when we d had this rip-roaring argument.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, took my passport and walked out the door.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, and he talked about it.
6
SPEAKER_01
And so I did this course
6
SPEAKER_01
And I left with these three thinking and it was it was a wonderful week where you don t have your phone, you don t have the email, you have so you have no connection to the outside world, really.
6
SPEAKER_01
And you don t and people, you know, obviously, I was me.
6
SPEAKER_01
But I had this nobody s there for that.
6
SPEAKER_01
So it s really people are on their own.
6
SPEAKER_01
They re all in their own form of net need.
6
SPEAKER_01
So I was wearing like a name tag was my childhood name or whatever.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then I did seven days of like, I guess, kind of like a group therapy.
6
SPEAKER_01
And it felt like three years of therapy in seven days in a way.
6
SPEAKER_01
And they say you re on this beautiful journey through these seven days where you have like a Thanksgiving dinner, a Christmas dinner, a birthday and a whole thing from, it s like, it s beautiful the way it s,
6
SPEAKER_01
constructed and I came out with this thinking and I talked to James at that time about this as well of feeling safe, seen and celebrated.
6
SPEAKER_01
I want to feel safe.
6
SPEAKER_01
So in, in, in terms of my relationship, so with self first, right?
6
SPEAKER_01
So if I look in the mirror, I feel safe.
6
SPEAKER_01
Do I feel safe with you today?
6
SPEAKER_01
Do I feel seen by you?
6
SPEAKER_01
Am I kind of observing myself?
6
SPEAKER_01
And do I feel celebrated?
6
SPEAKER_01
But really, it s for the people in my life.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like, do I feel safe with this person?
6
SPEAKER_01
Do I feel seen by this person?
6
SPEAKER_01
And am I feeling celebrated?
6
SPEAKER_01
And can I do that for them?
6
SPEAKER_01
Obviously, right?
6
SPEAKER_01
It s a mirror.
6
SPEAKER_01
So if I m feeling that way,
6
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then you re good.
6
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It s a green light.
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And if I m not, then I m going to just step back, take pause until I can feel that way.
6
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And if I can t feel that way, then maybe life and the universe will take us on different trajectories.
6
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But whilst I feel that way, so safe, seen and celebrated was something that really made me kind of go, I came back into my life and into my relationship after this,
6
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And then I said, we were set, we, we, we separated.
6
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It was interesting.
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And I was like, okay, this is what s meant, you know, this is some years ago now, but this, this stickiness that we had this connection and she was never really not a part of my thoughts.
6
SPEAKER_01
And she would reach out in weird ways like Instagram or whatever and I d be like Processing and I was like, so I don t and then I made a sort of decision because I had this safe scene celebrated thing
6
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not to see her unless she would, and then she actually did this Hoffman as well.
6
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Wow.
6
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And had an amazing experience herself.
6
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
6
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And so we just kind of, I think it was like it created a foundation.
6
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So we re constantly sort of bouncing off this thing.
6
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And sometimes the foundation s really rocky.
6
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Of course.
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And sometimes I don t know.
6
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Is this, are we, is the universe, are we still going?
6
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I gave her this picture of a tree, you know, and I was like, and it was, it was this beautiful, I bought it in India, I think, but it was this, these two trees growing as one.
6
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I was like, this is, this is what it should be.
6
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So long as we can, the branches can go all over the place, but the roots and the, and the, and the base of the tree is the trunk is growing together.
6
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You know,
6
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It s the pillars of the temple, right?
6
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You need them to stand strong together so that you can hold that.
6
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But yeah, it s been a... yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Tune in to the new podcast, Stories from the Village of Nothing Much.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like easy listening, but for fiction.
6
SPEAKER_00
If you ve overdosed on bad news, we invite you into a world where the glimmers of goodness in everyday life are all around you.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m Katherine Nicolai, and you might know me from the Bedtime Story podcast, Nothing Much Happens.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m Architective Cozy, and I invite you to come spend some time where everyone is welcome and kindness is the default.
7
SPEAKER_00
When you tune in, you ll hear stories about bakeries and walks in the woods, a favorite booth at the diner on a blustery autumn day, cats and dogs, unrescued goats and donkeys, old houses, bookshops, beaches where kites fly and pretty stones are found.
7
SPEAKER_00
I have so many stories to tell you, and they are all designed to help you feel good and feel connected to what is good in the world.
7
SPEAKER_00
Listen, relax, enjoy.
7
SPEAKER_00
Listen to stories from the Village of Nothing Much on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
7
SPEAKER_03
When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it s powerful.
7
SPEAKER_02
That s where The Bright Side comes in.
7
SPEAKER_02
A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that s bringing you a daily dose of joy.
7
SPEAKER_02
I m Danielle Robay.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I m Simone Boyce.
7
SPEAKER_03
Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters.
7
SPEAKER_03
We ve covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy, but The Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new and get into some friendly debates.
7
SPEAKER_02
That s right.
7
SPEAKER_02
Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side.
7
SPEAKER_02
We ll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you.
7
SPEAKER_03
Whether it s relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life s transitions, we ll talk through it all together.
7
SPEAKER_02
Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
7
SPEAKER_04
Get emotional with me, Radhi Devlukia, in my new podcast, A Really Good Cry.
7
SPEAKER_04
We re going to talk about and go through all the things that are sometimes difficult to process alone.
7
SPEAKER_04
We re going to go over how to regulate your emotions, diving deep into holistic personal development, and just building your mindset to have a happier, healthier life.
7
SPEAKER_04
We re going to be talking with some of my best friends.
7
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I didn t know we were going to go there.
7
SPEAKER_04
People that I admire.
7
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When we say listen to your body, really tune in to what s going on.
7
SPEAKER_04
Authors of books that have changed my life.
7
SPEAKER_04
Now you re talking about sympathy, which is different than empathy, right?
7
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And basically have conversations that can help us get through this crazy thing we call life.
7
SPEAKER_04
I already believe in myself.
7
SPEAKER_04
I already see myself.
7
SPEAKER_04
And so when people give me an opportunity, I m just like,
7
SPEAKER_04
Oh great, you see me too!
7
SPEAKER_04
We ll laugh together, we ll cry together, and find a way through all of our emotions.
7
SPEAKER_04
Never forget, it s okay to cry, as long as you make it a really good one.
7
SPEAKER_04
Listen to A Really Good Cry with Radhi Devlukia on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
7
SPEAKER_05
That s great criteria there, I like that.
7
SPEAKER_05
Safe, seen, and celebrated.
7
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Yeah.
7
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It s like a beautiful way of
7
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checking and connecting wavelength.
7
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Yes.
7
SPEAKER_05
The visual you just painted right now of the two trees feels perfect, like that visual just resonated so strongly.
7
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Sometimes people are not up for that as well though.
7
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No.
7
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Sometimes they re not ready for that.
7
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It can be really overwhelming.
7
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It can be really overwhelming.
7
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All of your good intention, right?
7
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All of your desire for the greatest outcome can be super intimidating and overwhelming, depending on whether your wife is ready.
7
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Yes.
7
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In that day, in that moment.
7
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And as we, as we know, from, you know, the remarkable, you know, I think I had this, I thought I was like, when I had Daisy, my daughter, I was like,
7
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I mean, I feel like every man should have a daughter before they get married in a way, because it s like, you see every emotion under the sun in a split second.
7
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And it s like, and you have nothing but love because you re there.
7
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There s no judgment.
7
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There s just like, I m just like marveling at her explosion of emotion.
7
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And she ll be like, no daddy, no dad, mommy.
7
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And I m gonna be like,
7
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if I d been in, you know, a partner, a reflection of a partner doing that could have really messed me up at different times in my life.
7
SPEAKER_01
Wait, what?
7
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See me, look at me, look at me, look at me, look at me.
7
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I m over here, mummy, I m over here.
7
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You know, whatever it may be, you know, or patterns from, from childhood, whatever that may be.
7
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And I like, and I m like, oh, and it s, it s in a way it s like, you know, so I can have those, you know, with a powerful human, you know,
7
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that I ve chosen in some ways every day.
7
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It s like, got to keep leveling up and trying and making mistakes and going, okay, no, that didn t work.
7
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Or I m going to do this.
7
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And that s normal.
7
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Don t do that.
7
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You might, you know, but you know, sometimes it s very interesting, isn t it?
7
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I think the masculine
7
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in, in, in, in relation to the feminine, you know, like my mind map again, you know, like I d set an intention around it and it was like, Oh no, it s not women.
7
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It s like the feminine within you.
7
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It s like, but in this world that we live in, it s like trying to find the,
7
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the, the, the right level because it s not like obvious, you know, it s not, there s no, it s, you know, I think people are always, you know, how do you, how do you have the right balance?
7
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It s like, it s like, it s like sometimes you re just really, you know, overly, overly, you know,
7
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edgy and sometimes you just like you can be that you can hold that big space because you because in your mind you re capable but you know I think it s just choosing right you just keep choosing you choose life and you choose to you choose to go on a journey and you choose to keep it real and you choose to for me at least.
7
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Yeah I feel what you said about like for me I my sister s like four and a half years younger than me or something and I feel like I
7
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I remember holding her when she was born.
7
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Last year I got to walk her down the aisle at her wedding.
7
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Like, and it was, I ve always, my nickname for my sister is kid because I ve treated her like my daughter since she was born.
7
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And she s always felt that way to me.
7
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And you re so right.
7
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Like my wife will always say to me, gosh, when you re around your sister, you just, you know, completely different in this.
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And it s, it s that,
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fatherly, brotherly.
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Does she like that?
7
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My sister?
7
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No, your wife, does she?
7
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She finds it adorable.
7
SPEAKER_01
She finds it adorable.
7
SPEAKER_01
She s like lean into that more.
7
SPEAKER_01
Is that not really not so much?
7
SPEAKER_01
It s just like, no, it s just like.
7
SPEAKER_05
No, she finds that adorable, but she sees what capacity I have for tolerance and for what you re saying, that being that bigger holding space.
7
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When you have your own daughter.
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Yeah, when you have it for that love and you re so right that
7
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when you ve been able to experience that, it s so much easier to understand.
7
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I always feel like I was raised by my mom and tried to raise my sister the best as I could.
7
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And it was almost like, that s made me a better husband than I would have been because I had a different experience with women that I wouldn t have had if I didn t have a younger sister and had a younger brother or whatever it may be.
7
SPEAKER_05
And so that resonates very strongly, but also this idea of,
7
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I ve seen myself act with my wife, with the people I love in a way that I don t like at all.
7
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And I ve seen myself act in the best way possible and I ll oscillate between the two depending on where I m at on any given day.
7
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And.
7
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It s what you said earlier, that it takes two people to be able to let go.
7
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It takes two people to be able to forgive.
7
SPEAKER_05
It takes two people to be able to not over-amplify or under-react or over-react.
7
SPEAKER_05
And you re constantly playing in that space if you want a loyal, committed, long-term relationship, which has very different positives than a short, easy, quick moment.
7
SPEAKER_05
And it s almost like, it s what you said, it s choosing what you want.
7
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Once you decide your, we have that idea in my practice.
7
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Once it s like, and sensei discusses, you know, once you decide your whole world will move in that direction.
7
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Once you decide, you know what I mean?
7
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Everything is set up for the universe to support that decision, but you must decide whatever it may be.
7
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And then if the wheels fall off along the way, you know, you realize that you ve decided and there are mistakes, but then you set about,
7
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fixing and I, you know, I wrote this like a mission statement when I, when I first met her, because I wanted to, I wanted to try to articulate all these crazy feelings I was having at the time, which was like a reveal that I hadn t had in a long time and somehow.
7
SPEAKER_01
And one of the things that I said in this, like, this, this, this, this letter I wrote her was, you know, I want us to, we re going to bring our little kids out, you know, our inner child, we re going to bring out and I ll duke it out with you as much as you like.
7
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So long as you just promise to keep getting up, you know, because it s like, if we don t get up, I need to know that like, you ll duke it out.
7
SPEAKER_01
I ll duke it out, but that we ll get up, you know, and keep, you know, because that s,
7
SPEAKER_01
it doesn t matter about you got, you re going to go down, people are going to make mistakes, things are going to happen.
7
SPEAKER_01
Life is set for that, you know, there, it s not, you know, it s not meant to be.
7
SPEAKER_01
The opportunities, as we said, at the beginning for growth, don t come through an easy path, they come, they re not when everything s going great is when the shits hit the fan, right.
7
SPEAKER_01
And that s when you know, so I kind of feel like I m constantly like,
7
SPEAKER_01
When s the next one?
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
Next lesson.
7
SPEAKER_01
When s the next one coming up?
7
SPEAKER_01
You know, how much, you know, how much you miss
8
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ability do I need to learn today?
8
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You know, what do I need to do?
8
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And what choices have I made that have led to this?
8
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And, and how am I going to own that?
8
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You know what I mean?
8
SPEAKER_01
What s the difference?
8
SPEAKER_01
What s the difference between that?
8
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Because I resonate with that.
8
SPEAKER_01
I always say to people that when things are going bad, work hard.
8
SPEAKER_01
And when things are going good, work harder.
8
SPEAKER_01
You re always pushing yourself to learn, grow, evolve more when actually things are good.
8
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Because a lot of us, we do the opposite.
8
SPEAKER_01
When things are good, we get complacent, we get lost.
8
SPEAKER_01
What is the difference for you between that mindset getting exhausting versus energizing?
8
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Because I think a lot of people would say, gosh, if I m always having to figure out what to learn and what message and from the universe and my partner, that s exhausting.
8
SPEAKER_01
But it seems like you re energized by that, which is what you see in the show.
8
SPEAKER_01
Like you re energized by the idea that there s more to learn.
8
SPEAKER_01
What s the difference?
8
SPEAKER_01
What have you found?
8
SPEAKER_01
How are you able to sustain that level of wanting to evolve and grow?
8
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I think that I just came in that way, bro.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s just how you re built.
8
SPEAKER_00
I think I came in that way.
8
SPEAKER_00
I think we all come in different, right?
8
SPEAKER_00
When I reflect on all of the opportunities for growth in my life, they all reinforce this idea that this is what I need to learn at this time, right?
8
SPEAKER_00
In retrospect, when you re younger and in that moment of crisis, whatever that may be,
8
SPEAKER_00
And listen, I didn t have a mobile phone till I was 20, right?
8
SPEAKER_00
But there is a window of time in my life, which is almost like a void because of the immense pressure and experience that life was throwing at me at such a rapid pace that I literally can, like, there are blacks, almost feel like blankets, right?
8
SPEAKER_00
Like, I can t even, like, my friend, best friends would go, well, remember when we went to Japan on that Presto?
8
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, we went to Japan together?
8
SPEAKER_00
I m like, yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
8
SPEAKER_00
So, you know, um, but yeah, I think that s it.
8
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I think, I think, I think saying at a young age with John, with a practice like mine helped me as well to recognize because we re constantly reinforcing this idea of opportunities through obstacles or opportunities.
8
SPEAKER_00
And even when you re in it and it s nightmares, these exams, this thing, this, you know, or this boyfriend or this girlfriend or this situation, this like,
8
SPEAKER_00
I think it s always simplify as well, right?
8
SPEAKER_00
Steady.
8
SPEAKER_00
Like life, you know, is, you know, at least my experience is like, I, I, I love the high octane.
8
SPEAKER_00
Right.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I ve been at the, at that depth.
8
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I love the depth as well, but when I m steady, when I m just, when I just like come back to the simple, right.
8
SPEAKER_00
Simplify.
8
SPEAKER_00
Cause sometimes you just need a walk.
8
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
8
SPEAKER_00
You just need to go outdoors.
8
SPEAKER_00
Sometimes you just need to look at the sky.
8
SPEAKER_00
take a deep breath.
8
SPEAKER_00
Sometimes it s just, and it s a few little touchstones that you can create for yourself, you know, so that you have tools, right?
8
SPEAKER_00
Create your own toolbox.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I think that s what I got from just so many different things, whether it s Hoffman or a plant journey or an encounter with somebody important or my relationship to Daisaku Okada, my mentor, or, and I think it s also, we re wired, we re all wired differently.
8
SPEAKER_00
So like,
8
SPEAKER_00
But if you keep leaning into that area of...
8
SPEAKER_00
and not being afraid to lean into the discomfort of life, then that s what the show is giving you.
8
SPEAKER_00
You know, you re leaning into the discomfort, you get the benefit, right?
8
SPEAKER_00
And, you know, again, that might just be getting up from your couch, turning off the TV or not scrolling on your phone or putting, you know, just deleting that app for like 24 hours so that you re just not being ruled by something outside of yourself.
8
SPEAKER_00
I think in this new age, right, we ve been in the age of,
8
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of the internet, I think at this new age of AI, which we re all there s so much anxiety and sort of, you know, you know, nervousness around and I saw, you know, Sam Altman speak about some of this stuff.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I thought it was so interesting.
8
SPEAKER_00
But I think my takeaway from from what he had said, and what I think is true for my life, and what I can sense is discipline, self discipline, because it s a choice to pick up your phone,
8
SPEAKER_00
It s a choice to get lost in your phone.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s a choice to keep scrolling.
8
SPEAKER_00
Or you could choose to put it down and step outside and simplify, do that meditation, do that yoga class.
8
SPEAKER_00
You could, it s all choices, right?
8
SPEAKER_00
But I think the people that, I think that if, as in when, you know, we see this new chapter of life, it s gonna be totally different.
8
SPEAKER_00
My son, your children, when you come into the world, they re not gonna know a world without super intelligence.
8
SPEAKER_00
They re just not gonna know that.
8
SPEAKER_00
Like my son doesn t know a world without the internet.
8
SPEAKER_00
How s that impacted his life?
8
SPEAKER_00
I do.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
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So do I. But they re not going to have a, no, they re not going to know a world without super intelligence and it s going to bring remarkable benefit to our lives.
8
SPEAKER_00
No doubt.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m sure health healing, you know, access life, but it s like those old adages, like
8
SPEAKER_00
devil s hand, you know, idle, idle hands of the devil s playground.
8
SPEAKER_00
So I keep thinking like, what s going to be my what s the discipline I m going to create the routines and disciplines to create and keep working at so that I don t slip off into that.
8
SPEAKER_00
Because I do it, I can find myself just going.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I and I kind of love my
8
SPEAKER_00
Like, like it will send me all of your things and other people s, you know, and like messaging around.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s definitely listening to me messaging around, Oh, this relationship person is talking about fantastic things, you know?
8
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, Oh, that would be great for the world to see or whatever, you know, whatever it may be.
8
SPEAKER_00
So like, don t, there s not, it s not all bad, but it is, I think the discipline, the self mastery of discipline, right.
8
SPEAKER_00
Self-discipline and self mastery to know one skill needed.
8
SPEAKER_00
The one is the one that will protect.
8
SPEAKER_00
Because if you re like, what do they call them in games where it s like non-player NPC, is it?
8
SPEAKER_00
NPC, yeah, yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
Right?
8
SPEAKER_00
We can all become those.
8
SPEAKER_00
We can all just switch off and turn on our autopilot and just be like, because you don t want to, because it s overwhelming.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s overwhelming.
8
SPEAKER_00
You re overwhelmed by the consistent.
8
SPEAKER_00
I mean, you know, if you keep looking at the news, you re just going to be overwhelmed.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s wild.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s wild.
8
SPEAKER_00
I have so many friends who are like on both sides of, you know,
8
SPEAKER_00
conflicts, you know, whether, you know, and just, it s just, you just go, you can just be overwhelmed.
8
SPEAKER_00
You can just.
8
SPEAKER_01
And that is where we re at.
8
SPEAKER_01
I think we re, we re overwhelmed.
8
SPEAKER_01
We re over consuming where.
8
SPEAKER_00
we re overexposed.
8
SPEAKER_00
We see and hear and understand, we get access to so much more information than we need.
8
SPEAKER_00
And then we continue to get more.
8
SPEAKER_00
And then what s true, what s not true.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s a lot.
8
SPEAKER_01
And that s why it s a lot.
8
SPEAKER_01
And that s why if anyone s not feeling disciplined or is struggling,
8
SPEAKER_00
There s a lot of compassion and empathy there because it s so hard.
8
SPEAKER_00
You show me a human, I ll show you anyone, right?
8
SPEAKER_00
And that s true of relationships, right?
8
SPEAKER_00
I think one of the things, like Laird and Gabby Hamilton were a big part of my life at a period in my life a few years ago where I was separated from my partner.
8
SPEAKER_00
Flynn s mom.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I was living kind of on my own in Malibu.
8
SPEAKER_00
And, and they were such a really beautiful couple, the way they I learned, learned so much from seeing how they interacted.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I, and I always appreciate that I took that away with me.
8
SPEAKER_00
But I think it s like, I kind of respect couples more than anything else, almost today, somehow, as well, when we talk about relationship, because
8
SPEAKER_00
It s the people that have kind of gone the continuing to choose and not to upgrade or think they re upgrading or that the grass is greener, you know, because we can all do that.
8
SPEAKER_00
Of course.
8
SPEAKER_00
And maybe we will.
8
SPEAKER_00
And there s no judgment there either, too, by the way, no judgment on any of it.
8
SPEAKER_00
But personally, I kind of go, oh, wow.
8
SPEAKER_00
I admire that because it s not easy, man.
8
SPEAKER_00
Because as people, as we age and change, it s like we re all being told that you can get this new handbag that will go with this new car, or you can get this new watch and this new thing, and you re just going to keep going, and I love a shiny object.
8
SPEAKER_00
I love a shiny object.
8
SPEAKER_01
How have you managed to maintain your Buddhist practice and philosophy in Hollywood?
8
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Because I imagine that.
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Dude, that Buddha s philosophy and products has maintained, has been my anchor.
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Yeah.
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It s not, I haven t maintained it.
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It s been my, it s helped, it s maintained me.
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It s helped me.
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It s, I really feel like it s my super cape.
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You can tell.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s my cape.
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SPEAKER_01
It s obvious.
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SPEAKER_00
It s my like, it s my superpower, you know, and it s, it s available to anyone, but I got it at a young age and I m like, it, it,
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it s my wings, it s my, it s my shield, it s my, it s my wisdom, it s my courage, it s my compassion, if I just use it.
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And sometimes I won t.
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There were days I won t chant and I m like, I mean, look, I m years and years into this.
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So it s just, I feel that it s never gone far from me.
8
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But, but I know when
9
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I m not.
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I m like, wait, what s going on?
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Often it s been when I ve been in a relationship, by the way.
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Often I ve been in a relationship and I don t, and I was like, wait, what?
9
SPEAKER_00
Why, why is that?
9
SPEAKER_00
Why am I not when I m, because what s being so, yeah, but it s been, it was, that was, it was my, yeah, it was literally my.
9
SPEAKER_01
I can feel it.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s, it s very obvious.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s very evident from the show and today.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s very real in, in your, in your veins.
9
SPEAKER_01
What s something you feel,
9
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you re being called right now, what s the fear you re being called to overcome right now, the lesson that you re being questioned?
9
SPEAKER_01
I sat with this question last year, and it was really, really interesting for me in my own meditation, it was revealed to me that if I really want to serve and have the impact that I want to have, that I ll have to be okay with dealing with
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more stress, pain, external kind of.
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Energy coming at you.
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Energy coming at you.
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To overcome so that you can.
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SPEAKER_00
Yes, yes, yes.
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SPEAKER_00
I love that.
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SPEAKER_00
You can have, you can bigger, paint a bigger canvas and have a bigger.
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SPEAKER_01
Right, but it will require that.
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That s, and that was a very interesting, almost
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request or question that I was hearing from the universe or from God or from my own spiritual practice of, this is what s required of you.
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Are you ready for you?
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SPEAKER_01
Are you okay?
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What, what have you heard that or felt that you are being, what fear are you being asked to overcome or what lesson are you being asked to learn right now?
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If anything comes up.
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Cause you ve conquered so many fears and the show and gone to the edge.
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What s, what s an edge that is being requested of you?
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I think that our deepest fears,
9
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are often, they often lie in areas unknown to us, subconscious, even in our subconscious.
9
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Some of the deepest fears I have are like related to a historical pattern of behavior or thinking, which I don t know that I was even conscious of.
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SPEAKER_00
you know, like I ve inherited and possibly from, in my mind, because of my practice and faith, generationally, lifetimes, previous lifetimes of thinking.
9
SPEAKER_00
Um, because that s how I kind of live my life.
9
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Like for the next life, I m like, that s how I m looking at it now.
9
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I m like, I m living for the next one.
9
SPEAKER_00
You know, it s like, like the Egyptians with the temples, it s like they were doing that.
9
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Cause it was like, and I kind of like, if I can live like that, but I think that when I allow myself, it feels connected to, I think self-worth, which I think is something that like, we all kind of like,
9
SPEAKER_00
You know, like, is Jay ready for that bigger canvas?
9
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Is he ready to put that message out into the world?
9
SPEAKER_00
Does he deserve that?
9
SPEAKER_00
Has he done enough for that?
9
SPEAKER_00
Am I worthy of that, right?
9
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Have I, have I done the work?
9
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Am I doing, am I in the flow enough?
9
SPEAKER_00
Am I, and also like,
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SPEAKER_00
Cause it s not, it s cyclical, right?
9
SPEAKER_00
It s sometimes you re just not in the flow.
9
SPEAKER_00
I had seven years of just being what felt like some of that, like swimming up river just, and I, cause I was just, I m going to swim up this river now for some reason, you know, and that was partly that time when I was separated and living in Melbourne and like training with lead and stuff.
9
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And I really kind of put my body and my mind through a lot of different, before I did the show, even before I did to the edge,
9
SPEAKER_00
So I think, I think it really, for me, it s like, that we re enough, right?
9
SPEAKER_00
I think somebody said it on your wall there, that you re enough, but it s like, I think we all struggle sometimes to really deeply believe that we are enough, that we re valued, that we re valuable.
9
SPEAKER_00
You know, we re imprinted by our parents from the age of zero to seven, right?
9
SPEAKER_00
But that s not even taking into account the time that, you know, you re in your mother s.
9
SPEAKER_00
So there s a whole heap of information that is just like, is it yours or is it somebody else s?
9
SPEAKER_00
I m constantly trying to go like, how do I detach from my, from this idea of what do, is that, is that my, is that, is that my baggage?
9
SPEAKER_00
I look like my baggage.
9
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I know.
9
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
9
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That s mine.
9
SPEAKER_00
All right.
9
SPEAKER_00
I ll take that.
9
SPEAKER_00
Let s unpack that.
9
SPEAKER_00
But all that other stuff, you know, and I ve, I ve, I think Hoffman taught me a lot in that space, but I think I ve interestingly, like, it s a fear of like being alone.
9
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Are you good to be alone?
9
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I think that was the biggest for me in a long time.
9
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Am I good to just be on my own?
9
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And I m constantly working on that.
9
SPEAKER_00
Am I good enough on my own?
9
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Because am I good in my own company?
9
SPEAKER_00
Do I feel good with me just to be with just me today or for this next hour?
9
SPEAKER_00
Because I spent a lot of time in my youth with people who I really love and admire and adore and continue to, but in a way,
9
SPEAKER_00
It wasn t serving me.
9
SPEAKER_00
I was like, it was, you know, we talk about energy and drains and things, you know, there were, there were, there were relationships in my life that I didn t even really realize that the impact that they were having.
9
SPEAKER_00
And then when I did, I was like, Oh, wait a second, this needs reframing.
9
SPEAKER_00
And until I m ready to reframe, I m going to just take pause to feel safe, seen and celebrated.
9
SPEAKER_00
But I think that, I think my, so in amongst all of that, I think it was probably being alone.
9
SPEAKER_00
and being good with being alone and recognizing because we re going to be born and we re going to die alone.
9
SPEAKER_00
So it s like, how, how, how good are you with being alone?
9
SPEAKER_00
Right.
9
SPEAKER_01
That s beautiful.
9
SPEAKER_00
I think that you re enough, right?
9
SPEAKER_00
You don t need all the other things because I love a shiny object.
9
SPEAKER_00
I, you know, whatever, like, although this isn t shiny, but it s the one from New Zealand, but you know, I do, I ve like, I ve got a fast car couple.
9
SPEAKER_00
Do I need them?
9
SPEAKER_00
I like the way it feels, but you know, do we need to keep consuming all this stuff when the planet is got a ticking clock?
9
SPEAKER_00
It s interesting.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s really interesting.
9
SPEAKER_01
I find that we re all paradoxes and we re almost giving ourselves permission to be a paradox until all of it s purified.
9
SPEAKER_01
And it s almost the permission is what allows you the ability to purify, whereas if you re living in the conflict of I m only one thing.
9
SPEAKER_01
you don t get the opportunity to dissolve the part that you may not be comfortable with because you haven t accepted it.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
But no, that answer was beautiful.
9
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Being alone and being comfortable in your own skin and being enough.
9
SPEAKER_01
And that is the lifelong journey.
9
SPEAKER_01
I feel like that s, you know, that is it.
9
SPEAKER_01
And, uh,
9
SPEAKER_01
Well, I feel like I could talk to you for hours, and I hope we do.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, we did.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, we should.
9
SPEAKER_01
I want to end with what we end every episode on, which is called the final five of On Purpose.
9
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These are pretty much the same five questions that everyone gets answered, and every question has to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum.
9
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Gosh, I hate that kind of pressure.
9
SPEAKER_01
These are your final five, and you can take your time.
9
SPEAKER_01
They re thoughtful questions.
9
SPEAKER_01
Orlando, these are your final five.
9
SPEAKER_01
The first question is, what is the best advice you ve ever heard or received?
9
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My mother used to say, have respect from the doorman to the director.
9
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And I think respect all life, anyone you meet.
9
SPEAKER_00
Because we re all on that journey and the person that s opening the door for you could be running the country.
9
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You just don t know.
9
SPEAKER_01
That s a great answer.
9
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Question number two, what s the worst advice you ve ever had or received?
9
SPEAKER_02
The worst.
9
SPEAKER_00
Um, I mean the worst advice, that s a really tricky one.
9
SPEAKER_01
You can skip it if your mind s blocked out.
9
SPEAKER_01
That s pretty cool.
9
SPEAKER_00
I Yeah, it s hard for me to.
9
SPEAKER_00
That s good.
9
SPEAKER_00
Hard for me to the worst advice.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
Sorry, dude.
9
SPEAKER_01
No, that s good.
9
SPEAKER_01
Don t be sorry.
9
SPEAKER_01
That s totally great.
9
SPEAKER_01
I mean, if you blocked all out, that s awesome.
9
SPEAKER_01
Because I, I like to make a log of bad advice everyone s received because I feel like there s so much bad advice that goes around.
9
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I like, yeah, I m not.
9
SPEAKER_00
No, you blocked out.
9
SPEAKER_00
That s cool.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
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I m like, if it doesn t, if it s not an aha for me, I m like.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, leave it.
9
SPEAKER_01
Leave it.
9
SPEAKER_01
That s what I m saying.
9
SPEAKER_01
I don t mind.
9
SPEAKER_01
Skip the question.
9
SPEAKER_01
Don t need to apologize.
9
SPEAKER_01
Uh, question number three, what s the,
10
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first thought you have in the morning and the last one you have at night.
10
SPEAKER_01
So we wake up in a family bed and Katie usually says, thank you God for today.
10
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I m grateful in every way, especially for, and Daisy will go, and we ll all go, daddy, mommy, Flinnie, you know, we ll all do that.
10
SPEAKER_01
That s beautiful.
10
SPEAKER_01
And that s, and I ll then say, yeah, I think Grouchen.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
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And at night, yeah, it s the same.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s the same because it s like we woke up, you know?
10
SPEAKER_01
And I think, yeah.
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Question number four, what s something that you used to value that you don t value anymore?
10
SPEAKER_01
Dude, that s so annoying.
10
SPEAKER_01
other people s opinions of me.
10
SPEAKER_00
Great answer.
10
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Uh, fifth and final question.
10
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We asked this to every guest who s ever been on the show.
10
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If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?
10
SPEAKER_01
I think it comes back to my first answer that my mother kind of instilled in me, which is just respect.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
10
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You know,
10
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a law of respecting life, all life.
10
SPEAKER_01
Daisaku Ikeda wrote this amazing letter, he came to the UK, I think it was in the 80s, to visit the young the youth members.
10
SPEAKER_01
And he was there, but he chose not to stand before them to have a communication.
10
SPEAKER_01
I think cause he could feel like the anticipation and the complete.
10
SPEAKER_01
So he wrote this letter or he may have been busy, but he, but he was there, but he didn t, but it was a choice is from my answer.
10
SPEAKER_01
And within it, he said, there s a piece about, I m going to not maybe land this, but you ll get the point.
10
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this this lifetime is about, you know, from the material, from the external to the internal, and making all mothers happy.
10
SPEAKER_01
Because I d love to actually find the quote.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, do it.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so here we go.
10
SPEAKER_01
organization since I m 16.
10
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And my mentor is a Japanese man in Japan, a man named Daisaku Ikeda.
10
SPEAKER_01
And in 1994, he wrote a message of encouragement to the youth of the UK.
10
SPEAKER_01
He wouldn t see them, but he sent this message
10
SPEAKER_01
that he sent to these children for them to listen to.
10
SPEAKER_01
He reserved himself from being there.
10
SPEAKER_01
But I wanted to read it because I feel it s so important and I had it written for you as well to read along.
10
SPEAKER_01
But it says, the times are changing from an age where justice, from an age where power is justice to an age in which justice is power.
10
SPEAKER_01
In this new age, the supreme guiding principle will be the benefit of all humanity rather than the interests of one particular nation or ethnic group.
10
SPEAKER_01
We will see the transformation of history from the revolution of the external environment to that of the inner self, the inner human revolution.
10
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It will be an age in which the actions of leaders will naturally be based on the guidelines of making all mothers happy.
10
SPEAKER_01
The actions of leaders will be naturally based on the guidelines of making all mothers happy.
10
SPEAKER_01
Respect, right?
10
SPEAKER_01
Because we can t, us mortal men, really fathom, you know, the power of
10
SPEAKER_01
what it means to be a mother in the world.
10
SPEAKER_01
But like, if we can have a little bit of, because, you know, so interesting, isn t it?
10
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So interesting to see the times how they ve been changing and how this masculine that s been living in with us, and we ve been living with and under and around and for and is sort of transformed and how we re learning
10
SPEAKER_01
particularly as men to respect and understand the power of the mother, mother earth, mother, mother, the mothers.
10
SPEAKER_01
And it s like, and he goes on to say about respecting your father and mother.
10
SPEAKER_01
And I really think he means all fathers, all mothers, you know, I was talking about this with David who introduced me to my practice just earlier.
10
SPEAKER_01
And we were saying, he was saying, it s, I ve really come to understand that it s all mothers, respect all mothers, respect all fathers.
10
SPEAKER_01
particularly because they hopefully have some sense, you know, of the value of life.
10
SPEAKER_01
And there are some people that don t, of course there are some people that that s not, but yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
So I think that s, that s, that was.
10
SPEAKER_00
Beautiful idea.
10
SPEAKER_00
I ve never heard it been put that way.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s a wonderful, you know, and that idea as well, which actually, interestingly, I wrote a note of what Sam said about Altman.
10
SPEAKER_01
And he was like, the journey is now, because I think it s way more,
10
SPEAKER_01
it s not the external, it s the internal.
10
SPEAKER_01
If we are those little galaxies, right?
10
SPEAKER_01
If we really start to understand each of us and have like respect and take responsibility, right?
10
SPEAKER_01
Imagine if, you know, I think what I kind of understood about my practice was if I m good enough and capable enough to just take care of my side of the street, right?
10
SPEAKER_01
then if I get so good at it, I can start to take care of other people s side of the street.
10
SPEAKER_01
that just don t have the skillset.
10
SPEAKER_01
They may not have had the education, they may not have had the upbringing, whatever it may be, the circumstances, they were born into a life that just didn t provide anything like the tools necessary to be able to cope with what life is.
10
SPEAKER_01
Like those obstacles I was talking about.
10
SPEAKER_01
For some people, it s just there the whole time, right?
10
SPEAKER_01
It s like, if we re all becoming capable humans,
10
SPEAKER_01
and able of taking care, then we can start taking care of your neighbor, right?
10
SPEAKER_01
You know what I mean?
10
SPEAKER_01
Start taking care of the person next to you because they can t, right?
10
SPEAKER_01
Cause that s what it s going to take, right?
10
SPEAKER_01
In my mind for this next chapter with where, you know, jobs are not what they used to be and people need, you know, that,
10
SPEAKER_01
boundary, right?
10
SPEAKER_01
They need that, um, that frame of reference that you need that kind of the security through, through, uh, through boundaries.
10
SPEAKER_01
Right.
10
SPEAKER_01
Um, so yeah, the discipline, but the respect and the, uh, all mothers happy.
10
SPEAKER_01
Let s make all mothers happy.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s funny.
10
SPEAKER_01
I don t do that though, by the way, I try, we try.
10
SPEAKER_00
You ve said it here now.
10
SPEAKER_00
Everyone who s been listening and watching, thank you so much.
10
SPEAKER_00
Orlando, thank you for being what I was saying to you a second ago.
10
SPEAKER_00
Thank you for being so vulnerable.
10
SPEAKER_00
Thanks for being so open.
10
SPEAKER_00
Thanks for being in a space of discovery.
10
SPEAKER_00
You know this conversation was us discovering what was in your heart what was in your mind it was.
10
SPEAKER_00
Ask kind of unraveling and opening and those to me and my favorite conversations when you don t know where you re going but you know you re going there together.
10
SPEAKER_00
And i think that s so true for so much of what we discussed and everyone s been listening and watching.
10
SPEAKER_00
back at home or at work or wherever you are in the world, make sure you tune in to The Edge, which is premiering on April 18th, if you haven t already.
10
SPEAKER_00
And also, please, please, please let me and Orlando know on Instagram, TikTok, you guys cut up the best clips and everything.
10
SPEAKER_00
Let me know what resonated, what connected, tag us both so we can see
10
SPEAKER_00
what you re practicing, what you re staying with you, uh, and what you re putting in and implementing and applying in your life.
10
SPEAKER_00
But a big thank you to Orlando for showing up so deeply and wonderfully.
10
SPEAKER_00
And I m excited for more of these conversations.
10
SPEAKER_00
Me too.
10
SPEAKER_01
Me too.
10
SPEAKER_01
Absolutely.
10
SPEAKER_01
Love it.
10
SPEAKER_01
Thanks so much for having me.
10
SPEAKER_00
If this is the year that you re trying to get creative, you re trying to build more, I need you to listen to this episode with Rick Rubin on how to break into your most creative self, how to use unconventional methods that lead to success, and the secret to genuinely loving what you do.
10
SPEAKER_00
If you re trying to find your passion and your lane, Rick Rubin s episode is the one for you.
10
SPEAKER_03
Just because I like it, that doesn t give it any value.
10
SPEAKER_03
Like, as an artist, if you like it, that s all of the value.
10
SPEAKER_03
That s the success comes when you say, I like this enough for other people to see it.
10
SPEAKER_02
Discover a new educational and interactive podcast, Stories for Kids by Lingokids.
10
SPEAKER_02
Our episodes are packed with fun activities.
10
SPEAKER_02
Right, Elliot?
10
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yes!
10
SPEAKER_02
We went shape hunting around the block and we found spheres and cubes on the street.
10
SPEAKER_02
That was great fun.
10
SPEAKER_02
Join Stories for Kids, the Lingokids podcast, inspiring you to learn while having fun.
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SPEAKER_02
Listen to Stories for Kids on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you
11
SPEAKER_02
Get Your Popcasts.
11
SPEAKER_01
Hey, everybody, welcome to Across Generations, where the voices of Black women unite.
11
SPEAKER_01
I m your host, Tiffany Cross.
11
SPEAKER_01
Join me and be a part of sisterhood, friendship, wisdom, and laughter.
11
SPEAKER_01
We gather a seasoned elder, myself as the middle generation, and a vibrant young soul for engaging intergenerational conversations, prepare to engage or hear perspectives that literally no one else has had.
11
SPEAKER_01
Listen to Across Generations podcasts on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
11
SPEAKER_00
You don t put those inside of you, do you?
11
SPEAKER_02
This is a show about women.
11
SPEAKER_00
I mean, you do?
11
SPEAKER_02
Finally, a show about women that isn t just a thinly veiled aspirational nightmare.
11
SPEAKER_02
It s not hosted, not narrated.
11
SPEAKER_02
We re just dropping into a woman s world.
11
SPEAKER_02
I found out when my dad was gay when I was 10.
11
SPEAKER_02
We were in a convertible on the 405 freeway, listening to the B-52s.
11
SPEAKER_02
Looking back, I should have said, this is gay.
11
SPEAKER_02
This is already all gay.
11
SPEAKER_02
Listen to finally a show on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.