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Get emotional with me, Radhi Devlukia, in my new podcast, A Really Good Cry.
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We re going to be talking with some of my best friends.
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I didn t know we were going to go there.
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people that I admire.
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When we say listen to your body, really tune in to what s going on.
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Authors of books that have changed my life.
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Now you re talking about sympathy, which is different than empathy.
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Never forget, it s okay to cry, as long as you make it a really good one.
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Listen to A Really Good Cry with Radhi Devlukia on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Something that makes me crazy is when people say, well, I had this career before, but it was a waste.
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And that s where the perspective shift comes, that it s not a waste, that everything you ve done has built you to where you are now.
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This is She Pivots, the podcast where we explore the inspiring pivots women have made and dig deeper into the personal reasons behind them.
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Join me, Emily Tish Sussman, every Wednesday on She Pivots.
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Listen to She Pivots on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine, hosted by me, Danielle Robay.
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And me, Simone Boyce.
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Listen to The Bright Side on America s number one podcast network, iHeart.
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Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side.
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Mental health is now talked about more than ever, which is awesome.
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I mean, I don t have to tell you that it s a primary focus of On Purpose, but on a day-to-day basis, many people don t know where to turn or which tools can help.
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Over the past couple of years, I ve been working with Calm to make mental wellness accessible and enjoyable, or as I like to say, fun and easy.
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Calm has all sorts of content to help you reduce anxiety and stress, build mindful habits, improve sleep, and generally feel better in your daily life.
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So many bite-sized options from the most knowledgeable experts in the world, along with renowned meditation teachers.
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You can also check out my 7-minute daily series to help you live more mindfully each and every day.
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Right now, listeners of On Purpose get 40% off a subscription to Calm Premium at calm.com forward slash j. That s c-a-l-m.com forward slash j-a-y for 40% off.
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Calm your mind, change your life.
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SPEAKER_04
Hey, everyone.
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Welcome back to On Purpose.
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It s your host, Jay Shetty.
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I m so excited because today we re going to do something a little different.
0
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I m going to share with you a conversation that I recently had where I was being interviewed that I think you re going to love.
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It was with the You Up podcast.
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And if you re someone who s been struggling with dating, this episode s for you.
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If you ve been struggling with an ick, this episode s for you.
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SPEAKER_04
And if there s a friend in your life that you know would really appreciate some greater insights on dating and relationships, this episode s for them.
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I hope you enjoy it.
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The number one health and wellness podcast.
0
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Jay Shetty.
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Jay Shetty.
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The one, the only, Jay Shetty.
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We love a special guest.
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Very special guest.
0
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One of our most popular episodes of last year.
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SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
0
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If not the most, I think.
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The beloved.
0
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That s how I m going to refer to you.
0
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The beloved Jay Shetty.
0
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Thank you for coming back on the show.
0
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Thank you so much for having me back.
0
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We had so much fun last time, so I m looking forward to today.
0
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so much fun.
0
SPEAKER_05
It s great to have you.
0
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I, you know, we, we are in awe of you and your success.
0
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I think that that s something we, we, and I, you came in the first time and I don t want to be the guy.
0
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I don t want to, you know, I m a cynic on everything.
0
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I loved it.
0
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Yeah.
0
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And I,
0
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That s the thing, I go, I like this guy.
0
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I walked away.
0
SPEAKER_05
But you come at things in ways that I wouldn t come at them.
0
SPEAKER_05
I come at it with like, I m the gremlin hater.
0
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The troll.
0
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I would say like the more cynical male point of view.
0
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Right, and sometimes I hear some of the, you know, you re such a calming, positive influence that like,
0
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You can tell people are just happy to have you in their life, right?
0
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Is that what it is, you think?
0
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They re just happy that you re the friend they d go to when they re hungover, and you d be like, it s gonna be fine.
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This is gonna wear off.
0
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We re gonna have some bacon, egg, and cheeses.
0
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You ll be good.
0
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I mean, talking about that, I remember being the sober friend early on.
0
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I was in Spain with some of my friends and everyone was completely hammered apart from me.
0
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This is when I d chosen to stop my, you know, stopping drinking alcohol when I was going out.
0
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And all of my friends, I was trying to tell them that some bad stuff was going on and that we should leave this club that we were at.
0
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And they were like, you re the worst friend ever.
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We re having the best time.
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You re ruining it.
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So I m actually used to being that friend when everyone else is drunk.
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You re ruining the party.
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I m ruining the party because I m trying to protect everyone from themselves.
0
SPEAKER_03
So you don t drink?
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SPEAKER_04
No, I haven t.
0
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I haven t drunk for years now.
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How many years?
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I think it would be 15 years now.
0
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Right.
0
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Was it not a big part of your life before?
0
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It was a part of my life in the sense of I love drinking games.
0
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I love the competitive aspect of drinking.
0
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What game?
0
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Ring of Fire was something we played a ton of when we were kids.
0
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What s Ring of Fire?
0
SPEAKER_04
So in London, I guess everyone starts drinking quite early too.
0
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So we started at like 14.
0
SPEAKER_04
And so the guys would get together, we d play this game called Ring of Fire where you have this big
0
SPEAKER_04
uh picture in the middle that s left in the middle you all get a glass of beer each as far as i remember this the picture in the middle is surrounded by cards playing cards laid face down and every card has a different meaning so when you pick up the card you have to do a certain action and the last person to do it has to drink
0
SPEAKER_04
or the card tells you that you have to drink first, or you have to tell a joke and if someone doesn t laugh then you have to drink.
0
SPEAKER_03
That sounds really fun.
0
SPEAKER_04
It s so good.
0
SPEAKER_04
And then every time you keep drinking more, and my favorite one was, there s one where the more fingers you can hold towards someone s glass of beer, the more sips that they have to take and things like that.
0
SPEAKER_04
It s a super fun competitive game and I m probably explaining it badly and Google probably did a better job.
0
SPEAKER_03
Do you still play the game without drinking?
0
SPEAKER_04
You know, I ve thought about that.
0
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I ve really thought about how we can make that fun.
0
SPEAKER_04
But I think it was partly the fact that you get delirious after, you know, six beers.
0
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I ve never heard someone be like, I was in it for the game.
0
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You know, like if they re an AA.
0
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I can see that.
0
SPEAKER_03
I mean, you kind of want to participate.
0
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I played flip water with many of my pregnant friends.
0
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It s almost as fun.
0
SPEAKER_03
That s a good way to put it.
0
SPEAKER_03
I love sports.
0
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I love competition.
0
SPEAKER_03
I love games.
0
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Love it.
0
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Well, you know, everyone go listen to Jay s podcast On Purpose.
0
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It s out.
0
SPEAKER_05
The guest list is something that you can t not acknowledge.
0
SPEAKER_05
Who s the guest that you were like, what s, I can t believe this.
0
SPEAKER_04
Oh, that s a great question.
0
SPEAKER_04
I m glad, I m glad we re getting into this as well.
0
SPEAKER_04
I d love to hear your thoughts as well on who you felt that because it s Jay Shetty.
0
SPEAKER_05
That was our, he s coming back.
0
SPEAKER_05
What?
0
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I had such a great time.
0
SPEAKER_04
I think so.
0
SPEAKER_04
I want to acknowledge that, you know, when you launch a podcast and you guys know this, when I launched or when I was coming up with the idea, it was so hard to book anyone because people had never heard of it.
0
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There was no stats.
0
SPEAKER_04
There was no data.
0
SPEAKER_04
You re trying to get someone to understand that you re going to create this safe space and people don t get it.
0
SPEAKER_04
And so I remember that day, which was five years ago.
0
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Now the podcast is five years old.
0
SPEAKER_04
But I want to acknowledge the first guest that made me feel that way was when Kobe Bryant came on in 2019, and that was the first year the podcast had come out.
0
SPEAKER_04
His team had reached out because his team loved what we were doing on the show, and they wanted Kobe and I to connect and meet.
0
SPEAKER_05
His team reaches out.
0
SPEAKER_05
Explain that to Joe Ohio, who s sitting in their car in Columbus on their way to not a team.
0
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Everyone who s in his life.
0
SPEAKER_04
So whether it s his assistant, whether it s a publicist, whether it s a different people who had a role in his creative company that he had.
0
SPEAKER_04
So employees, team members, and they d mentioned to him that they thought it would be cool for us to connect.
0
SPEAKER_04
And so when they reached out, that to me was huge.
0
SPEAKER_04
And to have that in year one, that was a huge honor that year that he decided to do that.
0
SPEAKER_04
So that was pretty, pretty amazing.
0
SPEAKER_05
It s a little bit like Domino s like, you know,
0
SPEAKER_05
Kobe did it.
0
SPEAKER_05
He felt safe.
0
SPEAKER_05
Absolutely.
0
SPEAKER_05
You know, then everyone, Oh, if Kobe did it, it s a little bit like that.
0
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_04
So I ve got to give him a lot of credit for that opportunity.
0
SPEAKER_03
And since then you ve had everyone from like Kendall Jenner to Michelle Obama, which is, you know, you must just be like,
0
SPEAKER_03
the people you get to speak to.
0
SPEAKER_04
I am pinching myself all the time.
0
SPEAKER_04
I m feeling really, really nervous walking into those rooms.
0
SPEAKER_04
And while I m preparing and I m feeling, you know, every bit of imposter syndrome that you possibly can when you re doing this.
0
SPEAKER_04
So yeah, I feel super grateful every day.
0
SPEAKER_04
And yeah, it s been amazing.
0
SPEAKER_04
I mean, Kendall was, you spoke about Kendall, I think that was a really important one in our journey of the show.
0
SPEAKER_04
She came on at a time when
0
SPEAKER_04
her episode just brought so many new listeners to our universe and I always thank her for that because it was amazing that people were like oh we haven t really heard her speak that much and not for that long and and you know I think what she shared was
1
SPEAKER_00
so powerful and insightful like that clip s gone viral like a million times of her talking about how she thinks about her younger self and she has a picture of herself at the mirror and some practice that she d done with a therapist and so I think you know I m really grateful to everyone who trusts me and trusts our space and comes on because it takes a lot for that person and I want to acknowledge that it s never easy to open your heart and open your mind in that way and so yeah each of those people that you ve mentioned have
1
SPEAKER_00
have made massive shifts.
1
SPEAKER_00
Kevin Hart came on and that was so much fun.
1
SPEAKER_00
Again, he had this amazing audio book, which people don t know Kevin Hart for audio books, but his audio book is amazing.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s called Monsters.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he talks about all the monsters that we deal with inside of our mind.
1
SPEAKER_00
So it s philosophical and comedic and he s obviously reading it and it s hilarious.
1
SPEAKER_00
And being able to dive into him from the perspective of monsters and the monsters he has inside of him,
1
SPEAKER_00
it was, you know, it s a spectacular conversation.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I think, yeah, all of these guests have made it easy for me and I m really grateful.
1
SPEAKER_01
What do you think it is about your show that like these people, again, like Kendall Jenner doesn t do a, these aren t people aren t doing interviews constantly.
1
SPEAKER_01
Um, what do you think it is about your show that just makes them
1
SPEAKER_01
want to do your show?
1
SPEAKER_00
I think that all podcasts have a really unique offering, right?
1
SPEAKER_00
Like I think people go on a podcast, like when I came on yours for the first time, it s because from what I d seen and from what I was hearing from my team, everyone s like, Jay, they re going to get into stuff that no one else is going to ask you, right?
1
SPEAKER_00
This podcast is going to ask you questions.
1
SPEAKER_00
When you were talking about being cynical, my team had already said that, that there s going to be a version.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, my team is my, you know, my podcast.
1
SPEAKER_00
My podcast producer, who is a huge fan of the show, and she s like, I think you re going to get asked questions that you wouldn t get asked anywhere else.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so that s exciting for me because I also don t want to have the same conversation.
1
SPEAKER_00
I want to have different conversations.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s why I came here.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so I think people come in on purpose because
1
SPEAKER_00
they know that there s going to be a safe space to explore depths of themselves that maybe isn t right on other platforms.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so I m hoping we ve created a space where people can talk about their challenges, their flaws, their imperfections, the stresses of life, the
1
SPEAKER_00
perplexities they ve had with childhood trauma, their personal mental health journeys in a way that is relevant, accessible, and practical for people.
1
SPEAKER_02
I like the perspective.
1
SPEAKER_02
And that s usually where I come to with everything I hear from you is like, I like the road you took because I m looking at that and I go like, you re like basically, oh, this show could open a door in my brain that I don t mind opening, but I didn t even know was there before.
1
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
1
SPEAKER_02
I have that with like, you know, if someone comes up to me and is like, I have a note for you for a joke, I heard you do, would you, and it s, it could be anybody.
1
SPEAKER_02
And I m like, sometimes it s like an old dad who s gonna tell me a Borscht Belt joke and I m gonna have to like, you know, he s gonna like be exhausting.
1
SPEAKER_02
But sometimes someone will say something, I don t even know what it s gonna lead to me thinking or a story that I ve never thought of.
1
SPEAKER_02
So I understand that where you re like, oh, I m up for the game of,
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, okay.
1
SPEAKER_02
Where will this go?
1
SPEAKER_02
But I know it s going to be safe and a little bit.
1
SPEAKER_00
Totally.
1
SPEAKER_00
And every podcast I think plays to that, right?
1
SPEAKER_00
Like if you want to show a certain part of your personality, I think there s so many podcasts to do that differently on.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so we re just trying to cater to this side.
1
SPEAKER_02
To that point.
1
SPEAKER_02
I have a question.
1
SPEAKER_02
If that s okay.
1
SPEAKER_02
What do you hate?
1
SPEAKER_01
We wanna know if you ve ever had a bad day.
1
SPEAKER_02
I wanna hear cynical Jay Shetty.
1
SPEAKER_02
I want miserable, horrible days.
1
SPEAKER_01
Who do you hate?
1
SPEAKER_01
Who do you hate?
1
SPEAKER_01
What do you hate?
1
SPEAKER_01
When s the last time you- That s not on the list of approved questions.
1
SPEAKER_02
Well, I wanna know, I want that Jay Shetty.
1
SPEAKER_02
And I, listen, because it s within us all.
1
SPEAKER_02
But was there a moment, is there, when s the last time- Do you get triggered?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I ll give you a bit of background because I m not, I m not trying to- And it s not a very monk way to go, I get it.
1
SPEAKER_00
No, so I ll give a bit of background.
1
SPEAKER_00
So anger and hatred have generally not been a part of my psychological approach because I saw a lot of it growing up.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so I made notes growing up going, I won t demonstrate anger in that way.
1
SPEAKER_00
I won t express hatred in that way.
1
SPEAKER_00
Where did you see it growing up?
1
SPEAKER_00
Saw it in my own home, saw it in my school, saw it in my extended family.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like I saw it very, very up close in a very extreme form.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I made a pact with myself that anger was not something that I was going to play with because I saw the ramifications it had with other people.
1
SPEAKER_02
Do you think you can do that with anger?
1
SPEAKER_02
Like there s people out there that I m sure like, I get angry.
1
SPEAKER_02
I would love to say, you don t get angry and go, I guess I m never angry anymore.
1
SPEAKER_02
I think an anger, isn t anger like a sneeze or is it like a cough?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, no, I m not saying getting angry is bad and I m not saying that we shouldn t get angry and it s not a natural emotion.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think it s an emotion that I kind of negotiated with very early on because I saw what it did, at least in the world that I grew up in.
1
SPEAKER_00
I ve had bad days, so that I can relate to.
1
SPEAKER_01
You don t express them in probably the way.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think if there s anything that does trigger me and does upset me, and which is funny because what I m about to say is me breaking my own rule, but it upsets me when we don t give others the benefit of the doubt.
1
SPEAKER_00
So when I see people not giving other people the benefit of the doubt or giving them space, it triggers me.
1
SPEAKER_00
But the funny thing is that means I m not giving that person the benefit of the
1
SPEAKER_00
So then I go, Oh, great.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like, you know, and that s what happens.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so, of course, I m a human, I get triggered, I get upset, I have a bad day.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think the biggest thing for me, when I m having a bad day is probably when I feel that someone in my life is being unnecessarily
1
SPEAKER_00
targeted in their own life, dealing with pain, dealing with stress, dealing with pressure, some pains coming at them that they don t deserve, that I don t understand, and so that kind of stuff.
1
SPEAKER_02
Do you have an example of a time where someone in your life was getting, you felt wrongfully targeted?
1
SPEAKER_01
Or yourself.
1
SPEAKER_01
Or yourself, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
Do you read things about yourself?
1
SPEAKER_02
Do you see things, and you go, and you, and it, cause I, listen, we sit here.
1
SPEAKER_01
We re all online, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
And we know, and what we have to do constantly, and again, we have to like,
1
SPEAKER_02
The thing that is, I think it s the worst podcast topic and we do it all the time, because it s like catnip.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s right there for you to do.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s responding to feedback when 99% of it, like Jay, I m sure you get messages.
1
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You ve changed my life.
1
SPEAKER_02
And you probably get messages that are like, I ve gotten messages that bring you to tears.
1
SPEAKER_02
You go, oh my God, this was me talking about my farts.
1
SPEAKER_02
was not supposed to make you feel better about a death in your family.
1
SPEAKER_02
And you get those messages and you probably get 99% of those.
1
SPEAKER_02
And then you get the one and you re like, you just want to like grab them and go again, benefit the doubt.
1
SPEAKER_02
How did you come to this such hateful space from when my goal was positive?
1
SPEAKER_02
How do you take yourself out of it?
1
SPEAKER_00
And I think, don t you feel though, and I will talk about it, but don t you feel though that over time you ve just become, you ve recognized that it s part of the job.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like you ve accepted that it s part of the job.
1
SPEAKER_00
So like, for example, let s take Michelle Obama.
1
SPEAKER_00
We did this interview with Michelle Obama, which was huge.
1
SPEAKER_00
Huge moment for me, so grateful.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like you said, 99% of the comments are like, this interview is incredible and everything.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then at the same time, you have a lot of people going like, why would you sit down with her because of their political beliefs?
1
SPEAKER_00
Or like, Jay, you sold out or, you know, why would you do this?
1
SPEAKER_00
And what I ve found is that, again, me giving that person the benefit of the doubt, that often that remark is based on something historical far before me.
1
SPEAKER_00
and has pretty much very little to do with me and an expectation of me that I ll never live up to in that I m always going to do things that s going to upset someone.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I ve, I ve kind of come to terms with that.
1
SPEAKER_00
And on the other side, I ve found that if you actually look at the comment section of people who ve actually watched the video, the comment section is.
1
SPEAKER_00
completely different.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like people have actually watched the interview, listened to the words, yeah, instead of the 30 second clip or whatever it may be, if they ve watched the YouTube version, you re seeing like completely transformed people, even people saying, I don t agree with the politics, but this interview helped me with this, this, this.
1
SPEAKER_02
It even annoys me that they have to say that.
1
SPEAKER_02
Like, it annoys me that, you know, the person, they always, that person s like, well, I usually, it s like, oh, well, you must be an expert now because you were able to see beyond your own initial thoughts on someone.
1
SPEAKER_02
How could someone, like, I- Do you ever block anyone?
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
So, yes, I would, yes.
1
SPEAKER_00
Your stars are just like us.
1
SPEAKER_00
My personal rule is,
1
SPEAKER_00
I m happy for someone to leave any honest opinion of theirs, as long as they re still following me.
1
SPEAKER_00
But if someone unfollows me and wants to leave a comment and it s hateful, then that s a comment that wouldn t be... That s kind of your thing too.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I think that s a fair statement.
1
SPEAKER_01
You don t get feedback from anyone who doesn t follow.
1
SPEAKER_00
I ll take the feedback, but I feel like if you re saying, Jay, I ve had it with you, I m unfollowing, and then you ve unfollowed and you ve left other hateful comments, to me then it s like, well, we re not in the same community anymore, we re in the same space.
1
SPEAKER_00
But if someone s following me and they want to leave lots of comments that tell me
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feedback or things they don t like, I will leave it up there because I still consider them a part of our community.
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SPEAKER_00
They haven t left the conversation.
2
SPEAKER_04
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That s drinkjuni.com and make sure you use the code ONPURPOSE.
2
SPEAKER_03
I kind of think of social media as my party.
2
SPEAKER_03
And if you come in and, well, I block people even if they re following.
2
SPEAKER_00
You block people just because it s Tuesday.
2
SPEAKER_03
Right.
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SPEAKER_03
I randomly go through.
2
SPEAKER_04
I like this analogy with the party.
2
SPEAKER_04
I have a similar one with the house.
2
SPEAKER_03
Well, I think of it as like, this is my party.
2
SPEAKER_03
The music s playing.
2
SPEAKER_03
You have walked in.
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SPEAKER_03
There are people here dancing.
2
SPEAKER_03
I don t care how many.
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SPEAKER_03
I don t care.
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SPEAKER_03
But people are happy to be here.
2
SPEAKER_03
And you came in and go, I hate this music.
2
SPEAKER_03
Let me lead you to the door.
2
SPEAKER_03
We re going to keep the music playing, but you got to leave.
2
SPEAKER_03
You don t want to be here.
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SPEAKER_03
It s okay.
2
SPEAKER_04
Goodbye.
2
SPEAKER_04
So I m okay with someone being at the party and saying, I don t like the music.
2
SPEAKER_04
They can stay, but it s the person who goes, all right, I don t like the music.
2
SPEAKER_04
I m leaving.
2
SPEAKER_04
But then they still want to have their opinion be heard through the window.
2
SPEAKER_00
This is a dating podcast.
2
SPEAKER_00
You ve written a dating book, Eight Rules of Love, which was great.
2
SPEAKER_00
I read it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Amazing.
2
SPEAKER_00
If you guys haven t read it yet from our last episode, you should check it out now.
2
SPEAKER_00
Anywhere books are sold, I assume.
2
SPEAKER_00
So you ve done a lot of research on love.
2
SPEAKER_00
You wrote a whole book about it.
2
SPEAKER_00
What do you think, if you look at the dating landscape now, what do you think is the biggest issue?
2
SPEAKER_00
Because there s a lot of people who are, I feel like, very frustrated with it.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I mean, from our emails, a lot of women.
2
SPEAKER_00
What do you feel like is the biggest mistake people are making when they re dating?
2
SPEAKER_04
I think the biggest mistake people are making when they re dating right now is that their list of ics and turn offs are so long and so wide and so far ranging that you may miss out on an incredible human being because they wear jewelry and, you know, and, uh, you know, uh, drink their matcha with a straw, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
Like whatever it is.
2
SPEAKER_04
Like, and I started following this, uh, really funny tick tock account called, I think it s called guy with the list.
2
SPEAKER_04
And what he does, and I don t even know what he looks like because he actually never, I don t think he s posted himself or her or them, whoever runs it.
2
SPEAKER_04
And what they do is they ll play all these found clips of people all over the internet saying their biggest ick and turn off.
2
SPEAKER_04
And then he ll add to his list and his list is at like 600 now with all these ridiculous things.
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SPEAKER_04
And so,
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And I know it s a bit tongue-in-cheek and it s a bit funny, but I do think it is that, like, we get turned off so quickly by things that are not actually important in a relationship.
2
SPEAKER_04
Like, I always ask people, like, does this make someone inept at being a good partner or is it just something that you don t like about them, right?
2
SPEAKER_04
Is it a preference?
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And I think that that preference versus priority conversation is huge.
2
SPEAKER_03
Well, that s like, you know, I mean, not to go to Plug City,
2
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but on my Netflix special, the opening bid is about how I m on the dating apps and you get in front of it.
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The dating apps offer you a menu at a restaurant and you re looking at it and you re going, well, I m not that type of person.
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SPEAKER_03
It s not even allowing you to smell the person, be around the person.
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SPEAKER_03
And you say, I m not gonna date a Darlene.
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And then if you met a Darlene in a bar that you got along with, you d probably date a Darlene.
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I think the ick is a lot of time just excuses
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to not be vulnerable, to say no.
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It s easier to say no and not do the thing than it is to go into it and go, well, I saw, and then you d blame yourself once it didn t work out.
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You go, you should have known.
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SPEAKER_03
They drink matcha through a straw.
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SPEAKER_03
It s easier to do that.
2
SPEAKER_03
You beat yourself up.
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SPEAKER_03
I think that might be kind of the nature of like, we re the Google generation.
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SPEAKER_03
This is what we do.
2
SPEAKER_03
We look up the place before we go.
2
SPEAKER_03
We don t walk somewhere unless we Google map, even though we ve walked there.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, it s kind of like it seems like the issue is almost like there s too many options right where you have
2
SPEAKER_00
dating 200 years ago, you re in an arranged marriage.
2
SPEAKER_00
Probably you re just set up and like that doesn t seem great.
2
SPEAKER_00
Right.
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SPEAKER_00
But now it s like if you live in a city like New York city, there s a million people maybe that you probably are in, in the, that you could possibly date.
2
SPEAKER_00
And so you re like, well, I don t, because there s a million people here and there s an app that shows me people constantly, why would I settle for someone who drinks matcha lattes through a straw when there s just another great person out there that I could, could have?
2
SPEAKER_00
And so I think,
2
SPEAKER_00
it d be great to almost go back to that happy medium where maybe you had 10 choices, not none, not one, but yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_04
I mean, you re speaking about something in psychology, which is known as the paradox of choice, right?
2
SPEAKER_04
This idea that humans actually make worse choices, the more choices and options that they have.
2
SPEAKER_04
And this is one of the biggest reasons why we are struggling in dating or whether the products that we purchase or whatever it may be.
2
SPEAKER_04
But yeah, I think the key is, and I like what you re saying, this balance of having enough of a pool to decide but not unlimited.
2
SPEAKER_04
And I guess what I m getting at is someone drinking matcha through a straw doesn t define what kind of partner they are.
2
SPEAKER_04
Whereas we like the joke that it does, right?
2
SPEAKER_04
Maybe that defines them in so many other ways.
2
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And so what I m saying is actually look at what makes someone a good partner and a credible, compatible companion for life, as opposed to... To take the other side of that, though.
2
SPEAKER_03
the thing that we find on this podcast, the thing that me as a single person deals with, when are you okay to be turned off?
2
SPEAKER_03
When do you allow yourself to say, this ick is more of a ugh, and this ick is funny, starts in funny, but it came from a place of, this is not someone I need to spend my time on.
2
SPEAKER_03
I m a detective, I m looking for clues.
2
SPEAKER_03
When you re out there dating, you re looking for clues to, I want to get to know that person.
2
SPEAKER_03
you know, the wears jewelry or, you know, sits crisscross applesauce on a chair, you go, that s generally, you know, a percent, you know, I m playing the percentages now.
2
SPEAKER_03
You know, so it is, you know, it s easy for, cause I see this with the X stuff online, especially online.
2
SPEAKER_03
You see a lot of men, their feedback to it is like, this is why you re single.
2
SPEAKER_03
And, you know, you gotta, you know, you gotta look through these things.
2
SPEAKER_03
Well, this person s also allowed to go, I m playing the numbers game here of what turns me on and off.
2
SPEAKER_03
And if you do A, you ll probably do B, C, D, and it won t be a match for me.
2
SPEAKER_04
Right.
2
SPEAKER_04
But that means, I mean, if you re playing the odds though, that means you re gonna have to get through a lot of people, right?
2
SPEAKER_03
You need odds to play.
2
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, exactly.
2
SPEAKER_04
You need numbers.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, how long have you been with your wife?
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SPEAKER_04
We ve been together now for, it ll be 11 years this year.
2
SPEAKER_04
11 years.
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SPEAKER_04
And married for eight this year.
2
SPEAKER_00
And she s basically like your only relationship, Craig.
2
SPEAKER_04
In terms of currently?
2
SPEAKER_00
No, I mean in terms of like, did you have other relationships before?
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SPEAKER_04
Oh yeah, I dated a ton before I became a monk and then I was a monk and then since I ve left the monastery, my wife s the only person that I ve chosen to be with.
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SPEAKER_03
What s your go-to first date when you were dating?
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SPEAKER_04
Before?
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SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_04
Back in the day?
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SPEAKER_04
I mean, I was dating in my teens, so it s like whatever you could afford, right?
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SPEAKER_04
Like maybe you re going like ice cream, bowling, cinema.
2
SPEAKER_04
I mean, going to the movies, going to the movies was probably the most common date.
2
SPEAKER_00
Which is a pretty, I mean, you say this on, you know, in your book that, you know, watching a movie together, watching Netflix together.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that rubbed people a lot.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s like, you hate that, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it s powerful.
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That s where The Bright Side comes in.
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A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that s bringing you a daily dose of joy.
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I m Danielle Robay.
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And I m Simone Boyce.
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Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters.
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SPEAKER_02
We ve covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy, but The Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new and get into some friendly debates.
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That s right.
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Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side.
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We ll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you.
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relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life s transitions.
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We ll talk through it all together.
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Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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We re going to talk about and go through all the things that are sometimes difficult to process alone.
3
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We re going to go over how to regulate your emotions, diving deep into holistic personal development and just building your mindset to have a happier, healthier life.
3
SPEAKER_02
We re going to be talking with some of my best friends.
3
SPEAKER_01
I didn t know we were going to go there.
3
SPEAKER_02
People that I admire.
3
SPEAKER_02
When we say listen to your body, really tune in to what s going on.
3
SPEAKER_02
Authors of books that have changed my life.
3
SPEAKER_02
Now you re talking about sympathy, which is different than empathy, right?
3
SPEAKER_02
And basically have conversations that can help us get through this crazy thing we call life.
3
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I already believe in myself.
3
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I already see myself.
3
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And so when people give me an opportunity, I m just like, oh, great, you see me too.
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We ll laugh together, we ll cry together and find a way through all of our emotions.
3
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Never forget, it s OK to cry as long as you make it a really good one.
3
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Listen to A Really Good Cry with Radhi Devlukia on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
3
SPEAKER_00
Something that makes me crazy is when people say, well, I had this career before, but it was a waste.
3
SPEAKER_00
And that s where the perspective shift comes, that it s not a waste, that everything you ve done has built you to where you are now.
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This is She Pivots.
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the podcast where we explore the inspiring pivots women have made and dig deeper into the personal reasons behind them.
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Join me, Emily Tish Sussman, every Wednesday on She Pivots, as I sit down with inspiring women like Misty Copeland, Brooke Shields, Vanessa Hudgens, and so many more.
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We dive into how these women made their pivot and their mindset shifts that happened as a result.
3
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It s a podcast about women, their stories, and how their pivot became their success.
3
SPEAKER_00
Listen to She Pivots on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
3
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_03
I was, I was, yeah, I was talking about this in an interview and I think there s, there s different responses to it.
3
SPEAKER_03
Some funny, some, some, some mad at me, but it was this idea of, I was talking about to so many couples recently and they were just feeling like they don t feel connected.
3
SPEAKER_03
They don t feel like they re deepening their intimacy.
3
SPEAKER_03
They don t feel like their relationship is growing.
3
SPEAKER_03
And I was just saying that, Hey, if that s how you feel,
3
SPEAKER_03
then if the number one activity you do is watch a show together, but that show s not leading to an interaction, a connection, a sharing of ideas or thoughts or feelings or whatever it may be, then maybe it s because you re not doing other things together.
3
SPEAKER_03
And what I was extending out to people was this idea that I found, even in friendships, right, this applies to all relationships, they get deeper and better and more intimate and more connected when you re doing other activities together.
3
SPEAKER_03
So I encouraged, obviously, experiences, experiments,
3
SPEAKER_03
uh, getting educated together, learning about something together.
3
SPEAKER_03
When you re growing together, you feel like you re moving in the same direction.
3
SPEAKER_03
Even if you re both doing your own entrepreneurial venture, but you come back and share your notes.
3
SPEAKER_03
There s so much more we can get from love and relationships that I think we re, we miss out on.
3
SPEAKER_03
And I empathize with it.
3
SPEAKER_05
Do you feel like you and your wife, cause you guys are, you re in the same industry.
3
SPEAKER_05
You guys work together.
3
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_03
We don t work together like professionally apart.
3
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_04
You guys had a great Gap ad together.
3
SPEAKER_04
That was the project.
3
SPEAKER_05
It came out great.
3
SPEAKER_05
If you look at your social media, you guys are in the same, you re peers, you re like colleagues.
3
SPEAKER_05
Is that helpful, the relationship?
3
SPEAKER_05
Do you ever get like,
3
SPEAKER_05
Is there jealousy in that?
3
SPEAKER_05
How do you work?
3
SPEAKER_05
Because working together is great because you re communicating, you have something in common, I would imagine.
3
SPEAKER_05
What s the negative part of that?
3
SPEAKER_03
So the number one thing I hear when someone comes up to me is, hey Jay, I love your wife.
3
SPEAKER_03
And people literally come up to me and go, yeah, you re all right, but your wife is amazing.
3
SPEAKER_03
And I m like, I know, I know.
3
SPEAKER_03
Like, and that s kind of how our life has gone, where I make friends with people because I generally am a bit more extroverted and I ll go make relationships.
3
SPEAKER_03
I ll introduce them to my wife and then I ll never see that friend ever again.
3
SPEAKER_03
And they become best friends with my wife.
3
SPEAKER_03
So I m used to that.
3
SPEAKER_03
I think.
3
SPEAKER_05
Do you ever, hold on, I m sorry to interrupt, but do you ever have to,
3
SPEAKER_05
There s a thing when you put out a lot of stuff into the world.
3
SPEAKER_05
Content.
3
SPEAKER_05
People come up to you and they say things to you that feel pointed.
3
SPEAKER_05
Like, you re okay, but I love your wife.
3
SPEAKER_05
And that does feel, it feels like they re trying to neg you a little bit.
3
SPEAKER_05
I can understand that.
3
SPEAKER_03
I feel like they re trying to humble me.
3
SPEAKER_05
Absolutely.
3
SPEAKER_05
And I would feel the same way.
3
SPEAKER_04
He doesn t get triggered by that though.
3
SPEAKER_05
No triggering.
3
SPEAKER_03
I love it.
3
SPEAKER_03
I love my wife.
3
SPEAKER_05
She is amazing.
3
SPEAKER_05
But is that how you deal with it?
3
SPEAKER_05
Do you go, well, this is a compliment on me because look at me being with this wonderful person that they love.
3
SPEAKER_05
Do you have to do that ever?
3
SPEAKER_05
In my head?
3
SPEAKER_05
I ll have people come up to me and they ll go, oh man,
3
SPEAKER_05
They were just at my show.
3
SPEAKER_05
Love the charcuterie stuff you do.
3
SPEAKER_05
And then I get mad at the other stuff I put out.
3
SPEAKER_05
What about the thing you just saw?
3
SPEAKER_03
That is the exact point of mindfulness training.
3
SPEAKER_03
Jared doesn t meditate, could you tell?
3
SPEAKER_03
This is why when we re having this conversation, it s so alien to people.
3
SPEAKER_03
And it s not because I was born without anger or hatred or any of these things.
3
SPEAKER_03
The point is, that is the point of mindfulness, that when I m hearing that,
3
SPEAKER_03
my circuit board internally is going, I love my wife.
3
SPEAKER_03
I love that someone else loves my wife.
3
SPEAKER_03
This is awesome.
3
SPEAKER_03
Right?
3
SPEAKER_03
Like it s brilliant.
3
SPEAKER_03
And I found that I think if I wasn t secure in who I am and what I m doing, I think that would trigger me.
3
SPEAKER_05
Right.
3
SPEAKER_03
And I think that s, what s really interesting.
3
SPEAKER_03
I don t know if you saw this movie.
3
SPEAKER_03
I think it was on Netflix this year called Fair Play.
3
SPEAKER_04
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_03
A lot of people haven t seen it.
3
SPEAKER_04
Finance.
3
SPEAKER_03
Correct.
3
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_03
So it s based on a couple.
3
SPEAKER_03
It s a movie.
3
SPEAKER_03
This couple are madly in love.
3
SPEAKER_03
He s just proposed.
3
SPEAKER_03
They re about to get married, but they both get put up for the same promotion at work.
3
SPEAKER_01
We re at a hedge fund.
3
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, at a hedge fund.
3
SPEAKER_03
So they re now competing in an ultra competitive environment for the same job.
3
SPEAKER_03
I m not going to tell you anymore if you haven t seen it.
3
SPEAKER_03
So I m laying it up so that you watch the movie, but the movie does a great job of showing like,
3
SPEAKER_03
gender roles, people feeling emasculated, like the challenges that come in the bedroom because of the intimacy, you know, everything else that goes on.
3
SPEAKER_03
And so I recommend watching the movie, but I think a lot of that comes from us feeling irrelevant, insignificant, or unfocused on who we are.
3
SPEAKER_03
And I think when you feel a sense of calm and confidence about what you offer and what you don t.
3
SPEAKER_03
So I do agree that if I didn t know what I was doing for work and I didn t know who I was, then I think that kind of stuff would,
3
SPEAKER_03
really trigger me.
3
SPEAKER_03
And so I ve constantly tried to work on who I am and who I want to be.
3
SPEAKER_04
Right.
3
SPEAKER_04
I think all triggers, like you said, are kind of come from a place of insecurity, but I mean, I feel like there s, there s a sense of being secure in who you are, but there s certain, I mean, everyone has some insecurity.
3
SPEAKER_04
Do you have any insecurities?
3
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_03
I mean, I mean, yeah, absolutely.
3
SPEAKER_03
I mean, to be totally vulnerable, I think I get, you know, insecure.
3
SPEAKER_03
I, okay.
3
SPEAKER_03
There s a few things I ll, I ll dive straight into it.
3
SPEAKER_03
One of it is, I think that,
3
SPEAKER_03
Sometimes when I meet people, again, this is the 1% not the 99.
3
SPEAKER_05
We have to say that.
3
SPEAKER_05
We have to say that.
3
SPEAKER_05
It is so important to say.
3
SPEAKER_05
So everyone knows that people mostly love us.
3
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, exactly.
3
SPEAKER_03
But sometimes I m insecure that when I m around someone that they re wanting me to say something wise all the time.
3
SPEAKER_03
So I have an insecurity of like, God, if I don t say something profound and wise, and, and in the past, I would really overthink that.
3
SPEAKER_03
I m sure you have this for being funny, right?
3
SPEAKER_03
Like you have to be funny.
3
SPEAKER_03
So if I m not wise in a room and you re not funny in a room, then we ve lost the room, right?
3
SPEAKER_03
Like that feeling.
3
SPEAKER_03
And so I used to carry this around.
3
SPEAKER_05
Has it turned around now?
3
SPEAKER_05
Because I, I used to, someone, yeah, I haven t been very funny.
3
SPEAKER_05
I just go.
3
SPEAKER_05
Well, good luck.
3
SPEAKER_05
And then I move on from the person.
3
SPEAKER_05
I go, we are not, do you, do you, now do you change?
3
SPEAKER_03
I have, so I had that, I used to carry that around really heavily and I used to feel so much pressure and I would feel so
3
SPEAKER_03
and then I found I wasn t even present.
3
SPEAKER_03
And then I found I m not even listening because now I m trying to say the right thing.
3
SPEAKER_03
And I let go of that.
3
SPEAKER_03
And now I just act like myself.
3
SPEAKER_03
So if I m tired, I ll be tired.
3
SPEAKER_03
If I m exhausted, I ll be exhausted.
3
SPEAKER_03
If I m buzzing, I ll be buzzing.
3
SPEAKER_03
If I m trying to be funny, if I m being an adventurous, I m just going to be, because I m just so much more comfortable in my own skin now.
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I ll say it.
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For someone to like, if you re like, hey, what are you doing?
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You re like, well, I do mindfulness.
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I m a, you know, I like to, you know, I was a monk and they go, well, I haven t had
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my life changed yet.
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Like for someone to react like that is such a piece of garbage.
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But sometimes people are looking for it too, right?
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And I think, so that s, that s one thing.
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And then I also get in insecurity.
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So I ve definitely had that.
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I carried that for a long time.
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I think that sometimes you have an insecurity of people feeling like you think you re important
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So it s kind of like you walk in a room and people assume that you think you re important or that you ve bought into your own hype.
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SPEAKER_04
Right.
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And so now you re trying to kind of prove them wrong and make sure that everyone realizes that.
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SPEAKER_03
No, no, no, we re cool.
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I m humble.
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Yeah, we re all
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on the same page that we re cool.
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You re so lucky you re not single because this is what women do to you.
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And I m saying women do this to you.
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Just this is, I m just saying, I know this as a single guy.
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I think men do that too.
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I used to get, you know, when I was single, are you funny?
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And I d be like, well, it depends who you ask.
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You tell me.
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But that s a great answer, because you re not trying to appease, and that s what I found, you re not trying to appease the person, and you re also not being rude.
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And it s just an honest answer, and you re just being real.
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Like that s a very normal response.
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SPEAKER_03
That answer will always, I think, disarm the conversation.
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SPEAKER_04
It s a great answer, and you re right.
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It is, no matter the gender.
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If you re single, this is what you deal with as a single, because you re dealing with variables.
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SPEAKER_04
You have people that are coming in and trying to make a move on you, or be flirty, or be funny, and show who they are right away, so it turns into,
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Oh, you re not that great.
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And it s like, that s not a, you didn t have to say that.
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You didn t have to say I was great.
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I m just here to meet you, you know?
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And that s the thing with dating.
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SPEAKER_03
I think that you do the best when you re looking for the positive, as opposed to when you re trying, you re trying to almost, you come in defensive or you come in trying to, you know, make the person feel like you re good enough for them.
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And that s why people do things like that.
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SPEAKER_05
Well, I think so often in the dating scene, we re trying so hard to make someone like us without even knowing whether we like them, right?
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SPEAKER_05
So we go into them like, like me, like me, like me, like me.
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SPEAKER_05
And then they like us and we re like, wait a minute, do I even know who this person is?
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SPEAKER_04
Right, and you can t know that when you re 22.
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SPEAKER_04
Like that s just the thing, like that is aging too.
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SPEAKER_04
Like so much of this isn t genius.
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SPEAKER_04
It s growing up and going and being self-reflective.
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Like it takes time.
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Cause I know exactly, you know, when I was 25 starting comedy, I remember this guy sat next to me in a bar.
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Oh, you re, and I d said, I m a comedian.
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SPEAKER_04
It was like the first time I ever said, he s like, tell me a joke.
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SPEAKER_04
And I m like, um, um, and I take out like note cards.
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And I m like, who is this one?
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He s like, well, you re gonna have to work on that.
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I guess you got me.
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SPEAKER_04
I know that feeling, but 38, I would never do that.
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SPEAKER_05
Yeah, it s that feeling of people trying to get you.
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I carry that insecurity.
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SPEAKER_05
I feel like sometimes I m in a room and I m like, all right, someone s just trying to get me.
4
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And that s an uncomfortable anxiety and nervousness to carry around.
4
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And I was speaking to people who are far more successful in everything else than I am.
4
SPEAKER_05
And they were saying to me, just the amount of anxiety they carry,
4
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because every word they say is going to be analyzed, overanalyzed, printed, scripted, put out there for the world, you know.
4
SPEAKER_05
And so you start, and that s for people, I m talking about people who are, you know, who every word that they say is the front page.
4
SPEAKER_05
Of politicians.
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Or Kendall Jenner.
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SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_04
Like Kendall Jenner says one thing off script that s written down.
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SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_03
She s apologizing it for a month, right?
4
SPEAKER_04
People don t forget, like, look at Kim, people never work anymore.
4
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, so you carry a little, you start carrying a tiny bit of that, you know, you start worrying.
4
SPEAKER_05
And one of the things I was thinking about that you raised, which isn t about dating, but maybe it comes into that was
4
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You know, there was a time when things were really starting to take off.
4
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And I ve generally been someone who, despite challenges, despite things that are going wrong, I ve always tried to focus on the wins and amplify the greatness and the goodness, because I believe that attracts more abundance.
4
SPEAKER_05
And so I ve generally been that way and I ve always been like that.
4
SPEAKER_04
What do you mean?
4
SPEAKER_04
In the sense of like, for example- If you have a win, you re like celebrate the win?
4
SPEAKER_05
For example, I mean is, you know, is it hard doing what we all do?
4
SPEAKER_05
Of course it is, it s challenging.
4
SPEAKER_06
Right.
4
SPEAKER_05
But I look at the things I m grateful for far more than I ll focus on the things that are challenging because I think that s a healthier way to live or it s the way I like to live.
4
SPEAKER_05
Right.
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SPEAKER_05
And at one point I realized when I was doing that, I saw that a few of the people I was hanging around with, I could tell that me sharing the growth that I was having was rubbing them the wrong way.
4
SPEAKER_05
And so whenever I was with them, I would now try and be more negative to be more relatable.
4
SPEAKER_05
And it was an insecurity that I had because I was like, well, I need them to feel comfortable around me.
4
SPEAKER_05
So I m going to start saying things that are going wrong so that they do realize my life is hard and bad and all the rest of it.
4
SPEAKER_05
And I started really just getting into my own negativity cycle because now I d opened a door that I didn t used to open before.
4
SPEAKER_04
Well, I think a lot of single people can relate to that.
4
SPEAKER_04
It s like you get a dating win and you go back to your other single friends and they re not as happy about it, you know, as you are.
4
SPEAKER_03
It s like sort of a silent race.
4
SPEAKER_05
And it s so hard because you love that person.
4
SPEAKER_05
You don t want to agitate someone.
4
SPEAKER_05
You don t want to trigger someone.
4
SPEAKER_05
At the same time, you want to share this thing that you re going through and you re experiencing, not in an egotistic way, but in a sharing of the heart way.
4
SPEAKER_05
And I think it s, it s tough.
4
SPEAKER_05
So anyway, yeah, I m laying out all my insecurities to you.
4
SPEAKER_04
It s hard, I would assume, because people come to you for answers.
4
SPEAKER_04
And you give them answers that are very concrete and said very well and something that they can kind of go repeat to themselves in those times of their own insecurities.
4
SPEAKER_04
Where do you look to?
4
SPEAKER_04
What s your...
4
SPEAKER_04
Do you have a person that you listen to?
4
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What podcast are you listening to?
4
SPEAKER_05
I definitely feel like I grew up on a lot of Oprah, which is huge and very inspiring.
4
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So it s a big fan.
4
SPEAKER_05
But I think for me, there s two things I look to.
4
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One thing is I just love studying humans.
4
SPEAKER_05
Like I love observing people.
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people online, people s lives, I read a ton of biographies, I watch biopics, I love, like if you watch the David Beckham documentary that just came out on Netflix.
4
SPEAKER_04
I haven t seen it, everyone loves it.
4
SPEAKER_04
Highly recommend it.
4
SPEAKER_05
And it s like I grew up following him and so I knew everything that was in the documentary but it was just this feeling of like I love studying a human s journey and how
4
SPEAKER_05
You know, at one point he was completely villainized in the country and people hated him because he got sent off in a massive World Cup game, all the way through to he s one of the most adored icons of all time.
4
SPEAKER_05
And so you get to see that.
4
SPEAKER_05
So I feel a lot of my learning comes from studying, researching and watching patterns and people and human behavior.
4
SPEAKER_05
That s kind of what I get a buzz off of.
4
SPEAKER_04
When you re watching people, who on the plane do you hate the most?
4
SPEAKER_05
Who, on the plane?
4
SPEAKER_04
Do I hate the moment?
4
SPEAKER_03
You travel, he travels a lot.
4
SPEAKER_04
I travel a lot.
4
SPEAKER_04
And I know you, yeah, you re all over.
4
SPEAKER_03
What is your biggest traveling pet peeve?
4
SPEAKER_05
Okay, so travel time is my sacred time to be alone and not engage.
4
SPEAKER_05
I believe in that.
4
SPEAKER_04
It is a great time to- Switch off.
4
SPEAKER_04
Cry, to switch off, and to like really say, I ll eat and drink anything I want.
4
SPEAKER_04
It s game over.
4
SPEAKER_04
I m with you.
4
SPEAKER_03
Cause you said like, there s a lot of pressure to feel like humble.
4
SPEAKER_03
There s a lot of pressure to feel, I m sure to like be the most Zen friend.
4
SPEAKER_03
Do you ever have to be like someone like, this is actually my secret.
4
SPEAKER_05
It s more like while I m catching up and selling sunset and the person next to me going, does Jay Shetty watch selling sunset?
4
SPEAKER_06
You know, it s that kind of feeling of like, Oh God, I m going to get judged for what I m watching now.
4
SPEAKER_06
It s that kind of feeling of like, please don t judge me.
4
SPEAKER_06
So.
4
SPEAKER_04
Well, this is so great.
4
SPEAKER_04
We re happy you re a FOSS, friend of the show.
4
SPEAKER_04
Oh, FOTS.
4
SPEAKER_04
FOTS.
4
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, FOSS.
4
SPEAKER_04
That sounds better.
4
SPEAKER_04
FOTS, FOTS.
4
SPEAKER_04
FOTS are, I always, friend of the pod, FOP.
4
SPEAKER_04
Something like that, I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_04
It keeps getting worse.
4
SPEAKER_04
We write to edit.
4
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, no, listen, I do, I will say, being in the room with you, you do have this filling energy to you.
4
SPEAKER_04
Do people say that to you a lot?
4
SPEAKER_04
I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_04
It s like a star power.
4
SPEAKER_04
It s a star, yeah, star power.
4
SPEAKER_04
Breath of fresh air, I love it.
4
SPEAKER_04
Everyone go listen to Jay s podcast.
4
SPEAKER_04
Go follow Jay if you don t already.
4
SPEAKER_04
Read the book.
4
SPEAKER_04
Read the book, it s all there.
4
SPEAKER_04
He s fantastic.
4
SPEAKER_04
I m Jared Freed, we re here every,
4
SPEAKER_04
Wednesday and Sunday with solving your dating needs.
4
SPEAKER_04
And we did it again.
4
SPEAKER_03
We did it again.
4
SPEAKER_03
We ll be back on Wednesday.
4
SPEAKER_03
Bye.
4
SPEAKER_05
If you love this episode, you will also love my interview with Kendall Jenner on setting boundaries to increase happiness and healing your inner child.
4
SPEAKER_00
You could be reading something that someone is saying about you and being like, that is so unfair because that s not who I am.
4
SPEAKER_00
And that really gets to me sometimes.
4
SPEAKER_00
But then looking at myself in the mirror and being like, but I know who I am.
4
SPEAKER_00
Why does anything else matter?
4
SPEAKER_01
Parents, if you ve ever experienced bedtime battles with the kids, I m gonna let you into a little secret.
4
SPEAKER_01
The Koala Moon podcast has revolutionized over 20 million bedtimes, with parents like you calling it life-changing and the perfect nighttime routine.
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SPEAKER_01
With original kids  bedtime stories and cozy sleep meditations, every episode has been specially designed to make bedtimes a dream.
4
SPEAKER_01
Listen to Koala Moon on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
4
SPEAKER_02
Hey, everybody, welcome to Across Generations, where the voices of Black women unite.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m your host, Tiffany Cross.
4
SPEAKER_02
Join me and be a part of sisterhood, friendship, wisdom, and laughter.
4
SPEAKER_02
We gather a seasoned elder, myself as the middle generation, and a vibrant young soul for engaging intergenerational conversations, prepare to engage or hear perspectives that literally no one else has had.
4
SPEAKER_02
Listen to Across Generations podcasts on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
4
SPEAKER_04
The Black Effect presents Family Therapy, and I m your host, Elliot Connick.
5
SPEAKER_02
David, he is a leader.
5
SPEAKER_02
He just don t want to leave me.
5
SPEAKER_01
But how do you lead a woman?
5
SPEAKER_01
How do you lead in a relationship?
5
SPEAKER_01
Like, what s the blue part?
5
SPEAKER_00
David, you just asked the most important question.
5
SPEAKER_00
Listen to Family Therapy on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.