0
SPEAKER_00
Hey folks, it s Lyle.
0
SPEAKER_00
Before we get into the episode, I wanted to talk to you guys about a new thing I m doing where you can help support my lizard endeavors by becoming a premium member of this podcast over at therapygecko.supercast.com
0
SPEAKER_00
Premium Members, or GECK Legends, as I call them, will be able to get every new and existing episode of Therapy Gecko completely ad-free.
0
SPEAKER_00
You ll also get a bonus podcast episode once a month, a bonus live show episode once a month from all of the live shows I ve been doing around the world, a members-only live stream once a month, plus, you ll also support my ability to continue, hopefully, doing this podcast for a long time, doing it around the world,
0
SPEAKER_00
and also supporting my ability to occasionally go eat a slice of pizza.
0
SPEAKER_00
Go to therapygecko.supercast.com or find the link in the episode description to become a GECK legend today.
0
SPEAKER_00
Alright, let s get into the episode.
0
SPEAKER_00
Hello.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, who s this?
0
SPEAKER_00
What s up?
0
SPEAKER_00
Struggling with sobriety?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay, how old are you?
0
SPEAKER_01
I am 27.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um... What, what sobriety, what kind of sobriety?
0
SPEAKER_01
Uh, well, it was originally, uh, a opioid, uh, kind of thing.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then, uh, it evolved to a, uh, meth, and... I don t know if I can say that on stream.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m very sorry if I can t.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um... You can say whatever you want.
0
SPEAKER_01
I appreciate that.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it was opioid originally I sent.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I kind of beat that and it turned into speed.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I m about a year sober from everything now.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I guess I m just kind of mentally hitting rock bottom, you know, kind of engaging in drug seeking behavior.
0
SPEAKER_01
I lost my insurance and I don t have any
0
SPEAKER_01
nobody to talk to, so here I am.
0
SPEAKER_00
Do you, when you were getting clean off of the drugs, did you have a counselor or anybody who was helping you or was it just a sheer force of will?
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, at first with Defend, I definitely went through a program.
0
SPEAKER_01
And after the program, I got a job that provided me insurance and I used the insurance from that.
0
SPEAKER_01
to kind of continue to get counseling and stuff.
0
SPEAKER_01
But then I met some people I probably shouldn t have, and I discovered speed.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I kind of used speed as a crutch, saying I can get off that.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I kind of had a weird relationship for like four years, swapping between the two of those.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s been pretty crappy.
0
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_00
Well, I m going to tell you this.
0
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what you know about me or my show, but, um, I m not a real therapist.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m a, I m a, I m a, I am a, a little, I m a 14 year old boy in a gecko costume.
0
SPEAKER_00
If you, I, if you, if, if you accept that and understand that,
0
SPEAKER_00
We, I ll, I m happy to talk to you about stuff.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, definitely.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m just here to talk, man.
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t, I don t know if I m going to like relax.
0
SPEAKER_01
Like I said, I engaged in drug-dealing behavior and then your notification popped up on my phone.
0
SPEAKER_01
I was like, screw it.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m going to give this dude a call.
0
SPEAKER_01
I watched you here and there.
0
SPEAKER_01
So here I am.
0
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_00
So, uh, how long, I mean, how long have you was, so you ve, you re a year sober from everything.
0
SPEAKER_00
You re not on, you re not doing anything.
0
SPEAKER_01
No, nothing now.
0
SPEAKER_01
Like maybe the, you know, weed here and there, but I don t really count that.
0
SPEAKER_01
I think that might help me more than anything.
0
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, about a year and some months now, probably a year and three months to be exact as of July of last year.
0
SPEAKER_01
So, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
When you were kicking your addiction, what was the most helpful thing for you?
0
SPEAKER_01
Honestly, it was
0
SPEAKER_01
It s weird, but YouTube and, you know, just Gunpla.
0
SPEAKER_01
I got into like Gundam and stuff like that, like weird stuff like that.
0
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, I found new things to focus myself on.
0
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, so I was building little robots and it was pretty fun, but that s kind of lost its luster now.
0
SPEAKER_01
And like I said, I m, you know, I m a high school dropout.
0
SPEAKER_01
I didn t say this, but I m a high school dropout.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m currently getting my education again.
0
SPEAKER_01
So go me on that.
0
SPEAKER_01
I think that might be part of the reason why I m kind of stressed out a lot lately.
0
SPEAKER_00
So yeah, you re starting, you re starting theater education again.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
I, yeah, I found an online high school.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, and it, it, it was $1,500, but, um, you know, it s not a GED, it s a hospital diploma.
0
SPEAKER_01
So I can actually learn some things that I needed that I didn t back in high school where I dropped out.
0
SPEAKER_01
So it s,
0
SPEAKER_01
They re good.
0
SPEAKER_00
What s your, um, what s your like, uh, uh, I guess, I guess ideal plan.
0
SPEAKER_00
Do you have a job that you want to try to do or, or a career you want to try to go into?
0
SPEAKER_01
I do actually.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
So not like a career, but right now I have a plan.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, so my, my mom and my girlfriend, they both work at a hospital.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, and it pays very well and I have it.
0
SPEAKER_01
I pretty much have the job now.
0
SPEAKER_01
I just have to get this diploma out of the way so I can actually, you know, so I can pass the screening, you know, because they require a diploma or a GED.
0
SPEAKER_01
So that s my plan right now.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I really want that because it ll give me the kind of money I can have to not do, you know, painting and yard work and, you know, the stressful shit I don t like.
0
SPEAKER_01
you know, like manually.
0
SPEAKER_00
You re with your, you with your parents?
0
SPEAKER_01
No, definitely not.
0
SPEAKER_01
I moved out when I was like 19.
0
SPEAKER_01
And so I ve been on my own since then.
0
SPEAKER_01
My mom does help me out a lot, but I don t like living at home.
0
SPEAKER_01
I like the freedom.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, so I m living with roommates right now.
0
SPEAKER_01
And at my last job, I saved up enough money to kind of, you know, it was situations like this where I lose my job and need to
0
SPEAKER_01
figure things out, you know?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yes, it s loaded.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s a whole can of beans, man.
0
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no.
0
SPEAKER_00
Well, so in the past... Alright, how are you feeling?
0
SPEAKER_01
At the moment, like shit.
0
SPEAKER_01
Like I said, I was on Facebook earlier trying to... I was engaging in drug-dealing behavior.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m not gonna lie.
0
SPEAKER_01
I was trying to find some fentanyl and I was trying to find meth, whatever I can.
0
SPEAKER_01
But...
0
SPEAKER_00
Wait, hold on.
0
SPEAKER_00
I gotta, I gotta ask you about that.
0
SPEAKER_00
How, how, how do you find meth on Facebook?
0
SPEAKER_00
Like, are they just, is there just a dude on Facebook or place with like taking pictures of meth and posting?
0
SPEAKER_01
No, basically when you do shit like that, you kind of meet a lot of people down the line.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, and they just kind of stick around on that friend s list cause you forget about them when you re done.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, and I, you know, just remembered some of those people and hit them up and you know,
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
0
SPEAKER_00
I thought there was like some kind of like, it was a coded thing where somebody was like, I m selling or something.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like somebody like, like selling a Renaissance style.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, futon actually.
0
SPEAKER_01
No, no.
0
SPEAKER_01
I think it s, no, I think it s people.
0
SPEAKER_01
I probably should have like deleted and blocked a long time ago.
0
SPEAKER_01
Honestly.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, I didn t, you know, I probably will now that I m actually on this weird
0
SPEAKER_00
uh sorry to call your stream weird it s not weird it s no it s very no it s very it s very weird what we re doing right now that s the word yeah it s very bizarre it s very bizarre there s no need to hide from that idea tell me about um
0
SPEAKER_00
I mean, unless if it s unhelpful for you.
0
SPEAKER_00
If it s unhelpful for you, I don t want to do it.
0
SPEAKER_00
But like, tell me a little bit about the universe of that whole thing.
0
SPEAKER_00
Who are these guys?
0
SPEAKER_00
How do you, not like they re fucking, I m not like the FBI.
0
SPEAKER_00
I don t need their names and addresses.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, of course.
0
SPEAKER_00
Who are these guys?
0
SPEAKER_00
How do you know them?
0
SPEAKER_00
Were they friends of yours?
0
SPEAKER_00
I can kind of talk about how I even got into that kind of life.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
So basically, I m 27 now.
0
SPEAKER_01
I was living with some roommates back in, I was about 24, 23.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I, you know, I was, I discovered opiates, that s a whole different story, but we ll start with that life right now.
0
SPEAKER_01
I was with some roommates and
1
SPEAKER_00
One of my roommates caught me snorting hydros off of the bathroom sink, and they kicked me out, obviously.
1
SPEAKER_00
And funny enough, these are my current roommates now.
1
SPEAKER_00
They forgave me, and I still live with them to this day because they re some of my best friends.
1
SPEAKER_00
But before that, yeah, they kicked me out, and I had nowhere to go.
1
SPEAKER_00
I didn t have a
1
SPEAKER_00
you know, a savings account at the time.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I went to live with a different friend of mine who lived in kind of the shadier part of town.
1
SPEAKER_00
And when I got there, at first, you know, I kind of figured they were doing something to get people over all the time and they were, you know, doing stuff in his room all the time, you know, and I kind of walked in on it one day and they were like, and, you know, I saw it, you know, I ve seen Breaking Bad, I knew what the hell they were doing.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, can I try it and they they literally said you don t want any part of this or you don t want to do this and I was like, yeah, dude, that was you know, stupid and Therefore, that s how I got in.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s how I got into it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Basically How many years ago you say that was Some 27 now Three four years ago, I d say this is rough roughly I
1
SPEAKER_01
So in the year, do you know, I don t know if you ve talked to any doctors or therapists, but do you know if you did any, any like permanent damage to your body?
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, uh, probably a little bit.
1
SPEAKER_00
Uh, I didn t smoke it.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was always a snorter for most things.
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, but yeah, like I,
1
SPEAKER_00
Like this last year, when I kind of got off of everything, I have found it hard to find open-minded things than I used to.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like, it is getting better though, I will not lie.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like I don t, I wasn t like, you know, and I will say this, I didn t do it like every single day, all the time.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was more of like a weekend warrior or whatever.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like I would kind of, it was like, I guess the safe space, you know, because I didn t, you know, I didn t want to be like some of the people I met and saw.
1
SPEAKER_01
Um, so you said, so you say it s getting better in the past year.
1
SPEAKER_00
What, if any, what s been giving you dopamine, even if it s a little bit, uh, video games, uh, alcohol, um, TV shows, I guess, uh, you know, just living life and I have a, uh, I have a girlfriend now.
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, I been with her for a year and been with her for a year and almost three months now.
1
SPEAKER_00
And.
1
SPEAKER_00
And she did help me out a lot, but I m not going to, you know, it wasn t just her, like, you know, and she knows about my past and stuff.
1
SPEAKER_00
She s at work right now.
1
SPEAKER_00
So, and I d also don t want to put all that on her either, you know, obviously, because that s not her job to, you know, consistently take care of if I m wanting to relax.
1
SPEAKER_00
And most of the time I kind of hide that, but yeah, no, I don t have access to insurance right now.
1
SPEAKER_00
So, and I know I have some local stuff I can go to,
1
SPEAKER_00
And I did do that.
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, I went to a local clinic that is income based and honestly they, they, they don t seem to care.
1
SPEAKER_00
I know that s kind of weird, but they don t have the same kind of, I didn t receive the same kind of care I got when I had insurance, you know?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
So, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
How did you meet your girlfriend?
1
SPEAKER_00
I met her at work actually.
1
SPEAKER_00
I got a job at the mall of all things after when I was getting sober.
1
SPEAKER_00
And she was my boss.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, she was my boss.
1
SPEAKER_00
Doing what?
1
SPEAKER_00
Uh, it was just a pop culture retail store.
1
SPEAKER_01
A pop culture retail store.
1
SPEAKER_00
Interesting.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like one of those, like, like, like you sell like flim flops and shit like that?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was kind of like box lunch.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay, cool.
1
SPEAKER_01
Do a lot of people still go to malls?
1
SPEAKER_00
This one in particular, not really.
1
SPEAKER_00
We maybe made two grand a day.
1
SPEAKER_00
But during the holidays, yes.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like during Christmas time, yeah, we got a lot of people.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
And so things are going good with the girlfriend.
1
SPEAKER_01
Has she been helpful for you during this time?
1
SPEAKER_00
Certainly.
1
SPEAKER_00
She s never judged me or threatened any weird stuff.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like every time I ve ever mentioned it in the past, she s always been very down for me.
1
SPEAKER_00
And that s been an awesome experience because my ex, a whole other can of beans, she was actually pretty damn abusive towards me and to the point that where she got arrested for it, which I know they don t get that often where, you know, it s the, you know, the other, like,
1
SPEAKER_00
Normally, it s dudes beating girls, but no, she hit me with her car, and the neighbors called the cops on her, and that was a whole can of beans.
1
SPEAKER_00
And she weaponized my addiction, too.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like, any time we got into a backyard, she would just, like, she would, you know, just call me an addict, or her words, a junkie.
1
SPEAKER_00
I hate being called that, because I don t consider myself a junkie at all.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Sorry, man.
1
SPEAKER_00
This is new for me.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m very sorry.
1
SPEAKER_01
What?
1
SPEAKER_01
No.
1
SPEAKER_01
Why do you feel sorry right now?
1
SPEAKER_00
Because I m kind of just spilling some beans on people that are in my past.
1
SPEAKER_00
And what if they stumble upon this someday?
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t want them to just message me out of nowhere and be like, hey, did you talk shit about me?
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, let s talk about this.
1
SPEAKER_01
I didn t think about that shit.
1
SPEAKER_01
We can, we can, we can, we can, we can blur your name.
1
SPEAKER_01
We ll blur your name.
1
SPEAKER_01
Cool.
1
SPEAKER_01
How do you, I mean, how do you feel talking about all this stuff to me and to people on the internet?
1
SPEAKER_00
I have adrenaline right now, so I might seem kind of weird.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s definitely giving me adrenaline, but it kind of feels good to kind of like,
1
SPEAKER_00
Talk to someone I don t know and just okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
Look it s interesting because I m as you re talking to me.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m thinking about all this I m thinking about like I m enjoying talking to you too, and I hope I am hoping that talking about this stuff is Because I don t know I m thinking about like I ll read the chat later too, and I hope the chat seems supportive I hope that
1
SPEAKER_01
You talking about this is helpful for you.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I feel a lot better actually.
1
SPEAKER_00
I kind of came into this just... I didn t think I would kind of like spill every bean I had, you know.
1
SPEAKER_00
And this is way more beans, but those are in the closet for now, I guess.
1
SPEAKER_00
In the pantry.
1
SPEAKER_00
What is your...
1
SPEAKER_01
dream in life?
1
SPEAKER_01
What s your ideal future looking like?
1
SPEAKER_00
Honestly, it s kind of simple.
1
SPEAKER_00
My dream at the moment is I live in a pretty dense city right now, and I don t like that.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m not a huge fan of living inside cities.
1
SPEAKER_00
I like them.
1
SPEAKER_00
I love them.
1
SPEAKER_00
The other day, I was having lunch with my girlfriend, and I was like, let s go to a park.
1
SPEAKER_00
I pulled up Google Maps and I just kind of noticed, wow, there s no green around here.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was, you know, I was looking around for the green areas you can see on the maps, you know.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I just, I think I want to live somewhere in the country, decide somewhere and just kind of live the life away from society for the most part and just kind of visit society when I, when I need.
1
SPEAKER_00
I d like to visit Japan, too.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s on my list, too.
1
SPEAKER_00
We were gonna go.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was gonna go, actually.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was gonna go during COVID, but they shut it down, so I spent all my savings on drugs like a fool.
1
SPEAKER_01
Are you anti-living around other people?
1
SPEAKER_01
Do you not like being in a place where there s a high volume of other folks?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, like I guess you could say anti like it s not like something I like despise but the other day I gave a buddy a ride to where he lives out which is in the countryside and it was a 45 minute drive out from where I live and I stayed over there for the night and I really enjoyed that like just I saw some foxes you know on the way there like just saw a deer like I saw like just wildlife and it felt cooler like the nighttime felt a lot cooler than it does where I live
1
SPEAKER_00
I know it s simple stuff, but I really did notice it.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I guess I do.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think I would like to, I guess I am anti city right now.
1
SPEAKER_01
Do you feel like living out of the way would be helpful for this kind of drug seeking behavior that you re talking about?
1
SPEAKER_00
Probably.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Cause I don t, you know, it s not like I m out here just chatting up every neighbor I have.
1
SPEAKER_00
Hey man, you do drugs.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like,
2
SPEAKER_01
I m not doing that kind of thing but yeah it probably would because you know I can get into other things that aren t just stuck within my you know the confines of my wall you know my walls yeah but I ve gotten into anime and stuff recently too thanks to my girlfriend so that s that s been helpful you know just
2
SPEAKER_01
Got a Facebook message.
2
SPEAKER_01
I hope that s somebody I know.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was about to say, I heard you get a notification.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s not from one of those guys, is it?
2
SPEAKER_01
Nope, it was not that.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m gonna put it on mute right now.
2
SPEAKER_01
Sorry about that.
2
SPEAKER_00
No worries, man.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, no, thanks for this.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m sorry if I have made this a very awkward kind of piece for you.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, you haven t made this awkward at all.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m sure you ve had stranger, you know.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, no, I m thinking about...
2
SPEAKER_00
I guess I m thinking about, like, uh... I m... I just, I don t know, I m hoping that it s helpful for you to... No, definitely.
2
SPEAKER_00
I would rather you be talking to a gecko on the internet about all this than, you know, feverishly browsing the Facebook marketplace.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, definitely.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and I m not, yeah, my entire attention is actually on this, and you know what, as I speak, I m gonna...
2
SPEAKER_01
I m on the computer now, actually.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m talking to you through my Google Voice.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m going to just go ahead and block these fools.
2
SPEAKER_01
To kind of alleviate that for you.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, I don t want you to think like... You know?
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay, hold on.
2
SPEAKER_00
I gotta know this stuff.
2
SPEAKER_00
These guys... Like, do they... Do they post?
2
SPEAKER_00
Like, are they posting, like, drug dealer memes or something like that?
2
SPEAKER_00
Where it s like SpongeBob with, like, a grill and he s got math and stuff?
2
SPEAKER_01
No, it s nothing like that.
2
SPEAKER_01
Honestly, going to be real, it s people that you would expect half the time.
2
SPEAKER_01
I ve noticed when I got into this, it s people that you really don t, it s nothing like, there s no stereotypes, really.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s like the guy I stayed with, you know, he s a hardworking guy, you know, works six-hour shifts, I mean, six-hour days.
2
SPEAKER_01
Sorry, I m nervous talking about people.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t want to mention any names on accident.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s people that, you know, that are just everyday people, you know.
2
SPEAKER_01
middle class, you know, lower class.
2
SPEAKER_01
Some even, I ve met a few higher class people.
2
SPEAKER_01
No, it s definitely, the people you meet doing this stuff is not what you would expect, like out of the movies or anything.
2
SPEAKER_01
And there s not like rotting teeth.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think that might be a late stage thing for people who just kind of like let it all go.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I have seen, I have met people like that.
2
SPEAKER_01
And there s people you can spot from a mile away, but most of the people I met around my age in their 30s and stuff,
2
SPEAKER_01
That d be enough even early 20s.
2
SPEAKER_00
They re just people, you know And let me ask you this and this might be a Can of worms, I don t know but You know, yeah, I m curious about your perspective on this cuz um, you know I just got back from Australia and a lot of people there were talking to me about um, I
2
SPEAKER_00
you know various areas Having having meth problems, and then of course in in the states.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know in California.
2
SPEAKER_00
There s there s a very big meth and fentanyl problem and Again, I m dumb as shit.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m a 14 year old boy in a gecko costume, but There s a lot of I guess there s a lot of like
2
SPEAKER_00
What the fuck are, and I m, I don t ever talk about like political things on here, but I m always, there, there is kind of a thing of like what, what, what s the solution overall to help cure this problem.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I m curious if you have thoughts on that as somebody who s, who s been there.
2
SPEAKER_01
I will say, I do think that that knowledge is a huge problem right now.
2
SPEAKER_01
Um,
2
SPEAKER_01
And this is coming from a nobody who lives in the Southern United States.
2
SPEAKER_01
So just in the past two years, I have lost my stepfather to fentanyl.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I ve lost one of my, actually, yeah, one of my best friends two years ago to that same thing.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I have, my best friend s wife passed away from it.
2
SPEAKER_01
I have lost, I just not, you know, I ve lost three people I know personally just in the past couple of years.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I have a lot of people I know have lost more in the connected kind of circle, you know, and it s always a different kind of scenario.
2
SPEAKER_01
For example, with my, my stepfather, he was a Marine, uh, in, you know, in Afghanistan and Iraq back in early nineties, let me say 90, like whatever that that happened in the nineties and early two thousands.
2
SPEAKER_01
And when he got injured in the war and he got on pain medication, uh, as a disabled veteran and, um,
2
SPEAKER_01
you know, he got hooked on pain meds, opioids, and it grew from there.
2
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, he was actually one of the first, actually the first person who noticed what was wrong with me when I was kind of avoidant and coming around occasionally.
2
SPEAKER_01
He helped me a lot, and it really sucks that he s gone, honestly.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I m kind of pissed off at him sometimes that he even got on that.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t really know the situation and how he got to that, but, you know, it s opioids, man.
2
SPEAKER_01
The crisis.
2
SPEAKER_01
And as for how I got onto it, it was basically the same kind of road, you know, just hydros and what, you know, it just kind of goes from there.
2
SPEAKER_01
And lately it s, you know, you always see fentanyl.
2
SPEAKER_01
People, they will, the drug dealers, they ll just kind of, hey man, I got this in and it s fentanyl.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t, you know, nine times out of 10, they ll try and offer that to you.
2
SPEAKER_01
I ve kind of, I do not mess with that anymore though.
2
SPEAKER_01
I will say I have, I d like to say I ve kicked that.
2
SPEAKER_01
I ve even been in it.
2
SPEAKER_01
I ve been in front of it a few times now after I ve gotten sober and I refuse, you know, just based on the losses I ve had over it.
2
SPEAKER_00
So, you know, and by the way, man, I m, I m sorry to hear about your, about your stepfather.
2
SPEAKER_01
Therapy helped me with that one, man.
2
SPEAKER_01
He s in, I like to believe he s in a better place.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t, I m not a religious guy, but he s not suffering.
2
SPEAKER_00
So again, but like, you know, back, back, back to the original question, like, do you, do you have thoughts on like what, what the general solution could be to these problems?
2
SPEAKER_01
I think it might boil down to, it might boil down to mental health right now.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, and just, I don t know, man, you know, I have thought about it and not in the like kill your local bit and dealer kind of way, just in like an actual, like grand scheme of things.
2
SPEAKER_01
One of my best friends is actually on it right now.
2
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, I ve already lost another best friend.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it s, I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, I ve talked to him, I ve poured my heart out.
2
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, his family and the people in his life have done the same thing.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it s not like they re ignoring that.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s not, you know, a lot of people are like, well, they don t care.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, they do care.
2
SPEAKER_01
But it s just, there is a sense of hopelessness going on with a lot of people who,
2
SPEAKER_01
We re kind of poor right now.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, I don t know if that makes any sense, but there s a sense of hopelessness right now, hopelessness for a lot of people right now.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I really think that there needs to be, in my case, I wish I could go and get help right now, but the help I can get right now is very cheaply, very cheap.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s very,
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, you know?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
You were talking to, you were talking about that.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s like, it s like getting a free trial and then, all right.
2
SPEAKER_01
All right.
2
SPEAKER_01
So they want to give me some medication.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
I can t afford that medication.
2
SPEAKER_01
I need to pay and pay my gas, pay my rent, you know?
2
SPEAKER_01
And, and I know, and then I look, I m lucky because I do have a plan to get out of the situation I m in, but I do know a lot of people who don t have a way out of that.
2
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, you get a drug charge, who s going to really hire you, you know?
2
SPEAKER_01
you get in a altercation or you steal something, people are gonna see that.
2
SPEAKER_01
So it kind of creates a bad situation.
2
SPEAKER_01
Do you have any ideas?
2
SPEAKER_01
I m curious about you too, honestly.
2
SPEAKER_00
Me?
2
SPEAKER_00
Dude, I m so like... I have no... It s complex, man.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t want to like... I m not...
2
SPEAKER_00
If you took one look at me, you d be like, I don t know if this guy is the guy to solve the fentanyl crisis in America.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s a bad one.
2
SPEAKER_00
I have no idea.
2
SPEAKER_00
I have no idea.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s a complicated issue.
2
SPEAKER_00
I agree.
3
SPEAKER_01
Not I m not even going to put I m not even going to I was I was curious about your thoughts as somebody who s Been there and is close to the situation Well, I m not even gonna try to I will say this come up with an opinion on that Yeah, fine, and I will say this I do notice like just based on people I know and going with them to their treatments and stuff Maybe it s a money thing.
3
SPEAKER_02
Maybe the people who are hired to treat these things
3
SPEAKER_02
issues aren t paid enough because there is a, it might be a desensitized thing.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like maybe, sorry, I can t say it right, but some people might be desensitized to that ordeal, you know?
3
SPEAKER_02
Like the people in charge of treatment, like the nurses or, you know, things like that, they don t seem to care because obviously they might expect to see that same person again.
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_02
It probably depends by state too.
3
SPEAKER_01
What s your name again?
3
SPEAKER_01
Give me a fake one.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I can call you something.
3
SPEAKER_02
All right, let s go with Ace.
3
SPEAKER_01
Ace.
3
SPEAKER_02
I got that from One Piece, actually.
3
SPEAKER_02
I ve been watching that one lately.
3
SPEAKER_01
Ace, I just want to say thanks for talking to me about all this stuff.
3
SPEAKER_01
I ll reiterate again, I hope this conversation was helpful for you.
3
SPEAKER_01
I hope it s helpful for the people listening to have an idea of what dealing with a situation like this is like.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
I found the thing that you were talking about, about how there is no stereotypical dealer.
3
SPEAKER_01
I thought that was very interesting.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, there s not.
3
SPEAKER_02
Or user.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I m proud of you, happy that your life seems to be on an upswing.
3
SPEAKER_01
Going to school, you got a nice girlfriend.
3
SPEAKER_01
I ll ask you this before we go, and you can be honest with me.
3
SPEAKER_01
Are you optimistic about the direction that your life is going these days?
3
SPEAKER_02
I think, I m glancing at a chat now after this conversation.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I m feeling a little bit better, man.
3
SPEAKER_02
A lot better, actually.
3
SPEAKER_02
I, yeah, um, I kind of came into it just kind of like in the throes and I feel like I m kind of like, just kind of, yeah, I feel a lot better, dude.
3
SPEAKER_01
I appreciate it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I meant, I meant like on a, I meant like on a macro, not even, I m not even talking about this conversation.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m just talking about in a, in a general macro sense.
3
SPEAKER_01
Are you, are you optimistic about where life is heading?
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
For me.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
Um,
3
SPEAKER_02
You know, you ve got the whole alien thing going on right now in America.
3
SPEAKER_02
So that s kind of exciting.
3
SPEAKER_02
So let s hope it s not a distraction.
3
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, I am feeling a lot better on like compared to me last year, the year before, especially three years before I am on.
3
SPEAKER_02
I am.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m very positive, actually.
3
SPEAKER_01
Awesome.
3
SPEAKER_01
Ace, Ace, Ace.
3
SPEAKER_01
Ace, go ahead and delete, I don t know, go ahead and delete Facebook entirely.
3
SPEAKER_01
What the fuck do you need it for, and where do you play?
3
SPEAKER_01
I can t think of a good reason to be on Facebook at all.
3
SPEAKER_02
You re right.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s just that s cool.
3
SPEAKER_02
You re completely right.
3
SPEAKER_02
You know what?
3
SPEAKER_02
On this stream, I m going to delete my Facebook actively.
3
SPEAKER_02
Okay, I like that.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I m doing it right now.
3
SPEAKER_01
And they make it hard too.
3
SPEAKER_01
They like make you have to click a whole bunch of boxes and confirm your phone number and all that shit.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, delete Facebook.
3
SPEAKER_01
Go look at trees.
3
SPEAKER_02
I need tech support people because where do I even go?
3
SPEAKER_02
I m in my settings now.
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t even know where to go.
3
SPEAKER_02
Just type in delete in the handlebar, I guess.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, it s really cunty.
3
SPEAKER_01
They make it hard.
3
SPEAKER_02
They do.
3
SPEAKER_02
All right.
3
SPEAKER_02
I promise you, tonight, right after this call, it s gonna happen, you know.
3
SPEAKER_02
I ll give you my word on that.
3
SPEAKER_02
I will not be findable.
3
SPEAKER_02
So if you look at my Facebook chat, you re not going to find me.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s going to be gone.
3
SPEAKER_02
I mean, Ace.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay, we ll cut that out.
3
SPEAKER_01
Thank you so much.
3
SPEAKER_01
We ll beep it out.
3
SPEAKER_01
Ace, man, thank you again for talking to me about this.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m glad to hear the life is going better.
3
SPEAKER_01
Is there anything else that you want to say about anything ever at all?
3
SPEAKER_01
Just life ever before we go?
3
SPEAKER_02
Just, yeah, whoever s listening, um, just stay positive the best way you can.
3
SPEAKER_02
And if it takes reaching out to a gecko on the internet, uh, just do that.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s better than the alternatives and whatever that, whatever s going on in terms of a case like mine.
3
SPEAKER_01
I ll go, I m going to, I m going to, um, I ll go ahead and say, I think you should talk to a real therapist about this before talking to a gecko.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, if we call to a real therapist and talk to a counselor, I was being funny, but yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
Definitely if you have resources or have people who can help you get resources Please do that because it will make a difference and a fat as fat as it is I guess a little health better than no health, you know Hey, thanks.
3
SPEAKER_01
You have a good one.
3
SPEAKER_01
You too, but It s interesting talking to ace Fuck dude, I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m not a I
3
SPEAKER_01
This is not a podcast where I pretend to know how to fix... This is not a podcast where I pretend to know how to fix anyone s issues, let alone a giant, systematic one.
3
SPEAKER_01
But it was cool talking to Ace.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t...
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
I like hearing about a good upward trajectory.
3
SPEAKER_01
I like stories like that.
3
SPEAKER_01
I like stories of people turning their lives around.
3
SPEAKER_01
Right?
3
SPEAKER_01
Because...
3
SPEAKER_01
I ve been I ve been there before not with like you know hardcore drugs or anything like that but I think a lot I think a lot of people can relate to this idea of having been at one point or another in a time where your brain was just convinced that you were done and there was no perspective your brain was just like you re done your life is fucked up you re hopelessly
3
SPEAKER_01
That s what he was talking about he was talking about a lack of hope he mentioned that he said a lack of hope I think there s I think that s the thing that a lot of people can can relate to and
3
SPEAKER_01
You have enough of those over the course of your life, you realize that your brain is playing some tricks on you.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so I have a great amount of respect for people who have lived lives where they ve been at that point several periods of time.
3
SPEAKER_01
and yet found a way to prevail past it and have good relationships and careers and, um, you know, uh, dopamine things.
3
SPEAKER_01
I should have asked him what games he was playing.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, I wish I had something funny to say.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t have anything funny to say.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m always in my, I m like, after a heavy thing, I should say something funny.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t always have something funny to say.
3
SPEAKER_01
Can we put a, um, like some cartoon Wile E. Coyote noises over me saying this right now?
3
SPEAKER_01
Like a, like a, you know that?
3
SPEAKER_01
You don t actually, you don t actually have to do that.
3
SPEAKER_01
But if you re listening, if you don t, you don t have to actually do that.
3
SPEAKER_01
But if you re listening, just imagine that they were there.
3
SPEAKER_01
Thanks for calling Ace.
3
SPEAKER_00
Call from Kelly.
3
SPEAKER_01
Hello.
3
SPEAKER_00
Hello.
3
SPEAKER_01
What s up, Kelly?
3
SPEAKER_01
How you doing?
3
SPEAKER_00
Um, I m great.
3
SPEAKER_00
How are you?
3
SPEAKER_01
I m okay, I m feeling pretty good.
3
SPEAKER_01
I ve noticed, I ve talked about this before, but I ve noticed I feel a lot better when I m present.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s my happiness barometer, am I actually present in what I m doing.
3
SPEAKER_00
Am I actually talking to Lyle?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I feel very present right now.
3
SPEAKER_01
I feel present talking to you.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m so sorry.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, you don t have any.
3
SPEAKER_01
You ve done nothing as far as I m concerned to apologize for.
3
SPEAKER_01
What s up, Kelly?
3
SPEAKER_00
I m just... I am also present.
3
SPEAKER_00
I am here.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was actually getting ready for bed and I saw you were streaming and I was like, holy shit, you know, I might as well try to get in.
3
SPEAKER_01
Bang, bang.
3
SPEAKER_01
Have we ever spoken before?
3
SPEAKER_00
No, we haven t.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I ve been listening to you, to the podcast.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m a mail carrier.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I m walking all day by myself.
4
SPEAKER_01
you know, doing the devil s work, delivering bills and shit.
4
SPEAKER_01
So, and I just listen to you.
4
SPEAKER_00
How long have you been doing that for?
4
SPEAKER_00
Ten years.
4
SPEAKER_00
Ten years?
4
SPEAKER_00
God damn.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s a long time.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
It is a long time.
4
SPEAKER_01
It doesn t feel that long, but yeah, it s been a fucking minute, man.
4
SPEAKER_00
Tell us the ins and outs of the mail.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh my gosh.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, you know what?
4
SPEAKER_01
I m going to tell you something that happened to me today.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I m at, um, I m at one of my boxes and I m, I drive a mail truck or a mail van.
4
SPEAKER_01
Actually.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s like a really big, it s called a ProMaster.
4
SPEAKER_01
It has the, uh, United States Postal Service stickers and emblems all over it.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m in a full uniform.
4
SPEAKER_01
This guy drives up to me and is like, you re a mail carrier?
4
SPEAKER_01
I said, huh?
4
SPEAKER_01
He said, do you deliver the mail?
4
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, yes.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I kind of laughed.
4
SPEAKER_01
He was dead serious.
4
SPEAKER_01
I thought he was joking.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I get this shit all the time.
4
SPEAKER_01
He s like, well, I m just, I m trying to deliver this, whatever he s trying to deliver.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, yeah, I m a mail carrier.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like I can take whatever outgoing mail you want.
4
SPEAKER_01
And he s like, okay, I just didn t know.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m like, obviously I m delivering mail.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, what do I look like?
4
SPEAKER_01
I just out here for fun.
4
SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
4
SPEAKER_00
So he wasn t sure that you, whether or not you were a mail carrier.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I guess not.
4
SPEAKER_01
I thought he was joking.
4
SPEAKER_00
Was he, how old was he?
4
SPEAKER_01
He was probably older, like sixties, seventies, maybe.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, I, you know, this kind of reminds me of, of, of a thing that I think about a lot.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I may, I don t know if this is a good, I don t know if this is a good analogy and you tell me if it s not, but, um, okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
All right.
4
SPEAKER_00
Uh, sometimes I ll call a store and, and they ll pick up and I ll say, are you guys open?
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay, you know, you know where I m getting at.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I ll say, are you guys open?
4
SPEAKER_00
And they ll, they ll respond like I m the biggest fucking idiot they ve ever met.
4
SPEAKER_00
Because, um, yeah, of course, they re open.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s what they always say.
4
SPEAKER_00
They re like, because they answered, but a I m just confirming and be it s like, what am I supposed to do just hang up immediately?
4
SPEAKER_01
Right?
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, no, that is very true.
4
SPEAKER_00
So this guy, he just wanted to confirm that you were a mail carrier.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it was just like, and I even repeated it to him to see if like he understood how like kind of dumb he sounded asking me if I was a mail person with, I had mail in my hand, I have a uniform on, I just walked out of my mail truck and he was like, are you a mail carrier?
4
SPEAKER_01
And I thought, what?
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so tell me what s the worst part of delivering mail?
4
SPEAKER_01
The worst part, hmm.
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, I would have to say definitely doing it in the wintertime.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m in Ohio, so I have winter, I have snow.
4
SPEAKER_01
I can deal with the cold, the snow, not a fan of.
4
SPEAKER_01
I love the summer, I love the heat.
4
SPEAKER_01
Uh, but no, yeah, not a fan.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then obviously the dumb questions of if I have a mail carrier or not.
4
SPEAKER_00
Now, um, do you, do you, is it true that you have to like run away from dogs and stuff?
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, it is, that is very, very true.
4
SPEAKER_01
I ve had to definitely spray some dogs, um, from time to time, but it s also like
4
SPEAKER_01
bad to spray dogs because I love dogs you ve had to spray them oh yeah because we carry dog spray what is dog spray I ve never heard of that it s kind of like pepper spray but it s for dogs I guess I m not sure if there s much of a difference but we call it dog spray and it s like you you re you re pepper spraying dogs yeah so like if a dog
4
SPEAKER_01
If there s like a loose dog and it s like approaching you, you know, aggressively, you know, barking, you know, foaming at the mouth and you feel in danger, we have this spray that we re supposed to carry on you.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, and you can just spray them and it s supposed to, you know, deter them from biting you and attacking you.
4
SPEAKER_00
How many in your 10 year career, how many dogs have you pepper sprayed?
4
SPEAKER_01
Um,
4
SPEAKER_01
Probably like only three that I can think of.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s, that s pretty good.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, what has, um, like what, okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
How far does the situation have to escalate before you feel like it s necessary?
4
SPEAKER_01
One that comes to my mind is when I m, you know, like, uh, when like a carrier, you know, you re walking through people s yards.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, and there was, when I was on this one specific route, I had, uh, this dog actually happened to jump the fence and it was after I d already passed its house, but it was coming right at me and I d have, you know, it was barking and I just happened to turn around and I had enough time to actually get my spray out because it was actually biting my bag, my, my, you know, postal bag.
4
SPEAKER_01
And, um, so I had time to spray it and then it, you know, kind of whimpered away and went back to, you know, it s house or yard or whatnot.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, so yeah, that s just kind of what happens.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it, it is effective.
4
SPEAKER_00
Do the owners get mad at you for spraying the dogs?
4
SPEAKER_01
So I guess it s really like.
4
SPEAKER_01
depends on who it is doing the spraying.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I, so I actually the next day, um, went up to those people s house and knock on their door and kind of let them know the situation.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, and was kind of like, you know, I m sorry, I had to spray your dog, but this is what, you know, he did, blah, blah, blah.
4
SPEAKER_01
And actually that particular time, they tried blaming it on me and saying that I walked up to their dog.
4
SPEAKER_01
which was, I mean, a blatant lie, but, you know, you just try to, you know, be the best person you can and tell the truth, but sometimes people just don t like to hear the truth.
4
SPEAKER_01
They think their dogs are all fine and dandy.
4
SPEAKER_00
What about the other two times?
4
SPEAKER_01
So one of the other times was, I was kind of in a more rougher neighborhood, and this was kind of like, I guess what I would call a rogue dog.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it had no owner and it was just walking the streets kind of, you know, while, as I was delivering mail, um, and it just got too close to me.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I was actually fairly new at that time.
4
SPEAKER_01
That was kind of at the beginning of my coastal career.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I just was really, really nervous and it got too close and it was barking and it was a bigger dog.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, and I just, you know, had to do what I had to do.
4
SPEAKER_01
Hmm.
4
SPEAKER_00
Now, okay, so you know how like, um, like if you re like a police officer, you have to like get pepper sprayed?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Do you have to get pepper sprayed?
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh my gosh, no.
4
SPEAKER_01
That would be hilarious though, because there s a lot of people that I would love to see that happen too.
4
SPEAKER_00
You d like people to work with?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Why, why, why are there people you work with that you want to see get pepper sprayed?
4
SPEAKER_01
Because I work with them.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, crazy people, idiot people.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s the postal service is wild.
4
SPEAKER_00
What is it that makes, what is it that makes these people crazy?
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s just like their personalities and their way of thinking.
4
SPEAKER_01
Maybe it s just because there s such a, uh,
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, there s people that still are at the post office that are like 80 years old that haven t retired yet.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I m 30.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then there s as young as 18 years old.
4
SPEAKER_01
So there s so many like age gaps.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it s so crazy.
4
SPEAKER_00
Would you say that they, like, what exactly, like, do you have any examples of things that people have said or done that you feel is, makes you want to pepper spray them?
5
SPEAKER_01
Um, I can t think of like a specific situation, but it s just more of like a, uh, it s just like something that happens like day to day.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like, it s just like a random, you know, someone says something just completely idiotic.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like the, like the person I dealt with today asking me if I m a male carrier.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s like that.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if that guy I don t know if I agree with you about that guy deserving to get pepper sprayed.
5
SPEAKER_00
I have to all draw my personal line there.
5
SPEAKER_01
I guess this has happened too many times to me where I m just like, really?
5
SPEAKER_00
Now Kelly, um, do you, do you personally, do you think you ll be in the, uh, in the force for, I mean, this guy who s 80, right.
5
SPEAKER_00
And he s been doing it probably since he was 20.
5
SPEAKER_00
What do you, do you see yourself winding up like that dude?
5
SPEAKER_00
Or do you have something else you want to hear?
5
SPEAKER_01
Um, I can, I definitely can see myself, uh, maybe holding out that long, but it s actually, uh, kind of funny.
5
SPEAKER_01
I was,
5
SPEAKER_01
literally just talking to my mom about getting into the dog grooming business.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, so you re trying to, you re definitely trying to make up for a few sprayed dogs.
5
SPEAKER_01
I guess so.
5
SPEAKER_01
Maybe.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
I told you I feel bad when you spray a dog, you feel so bad.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I m a dog owner.
5
SPEAKER_01
I would never want my dog to be sprayed, but I do understand that, you know, there are times where it just happens, but
5
SPEAKER_01
But, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, Kelly, um... I didn t think about it like that, but now I am.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m trying to think of how many, um, shampooed dogs equate to, like, a race.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, okay, so if you sprayed three dogs, you probably have to shampoo at least 20.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna say I m gonna say 20 shampoo dogs is worth three pepper-sprayed dogs And I don t and I m that just came out with that on the fly that s open to interpretation I m open to hearing alternative viewpoints on that, but that s just what I came up with so I m gonna go ahead and say no unless if you pepper-sprayed her
5
SPEAKER_01
No, I ve never pepper sprayed my dog.
5
SPEAKER_01
I could never.
5
SPEAKER_00
Kelly, is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?
5
SPEAKER_01
I just want to say today might be a bad day, but tomorrow is a new one.
5
SPEAKER_01
So just look forward to tomorrow.
5
SPEAKER_00
Have a good night, Kelly.
5
SPEAKER_01
You also.
5
SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
5
SPEAKER_00
Here s the thing, though, and people always say that.
5
SPEAKER_00
People say that a lot.
5
SPEAKER_00
They say, today is maybe a bad day, but tomorrow s a new one.
5
SPEAKER_00
But here s the thing, tomorrow could also be bad.
5
SPEAKER_00
Tomorrow could be worse.
5
SPEAKER_00
Tomorrow could be worse.
5
SPEAKER_00
But then the day after that could be even worse than tomorrow, two days from now.
5
SPEAKER_00
could be double as bad as today.
5
SPEAKER_00
But then the day after could be like a little bit better.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then the day after that, even worse than two days before that day.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then the day after that is Sunday.
5
SPEAKER_00
I lost track of days.
5
SPEAKER_00
Watch out for your dogs if they go near the male people.
5
SPEAKER_02
Hello?
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, who is this?
5
SPEAKER_02
Kylie.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah, dude.
5
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_02
I don t know when, but I m coming in September.
5
SPEAKER_02
Kylie.
5
SPEAKER_02
Uh, yes.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, well, I, um, actually, I have no idea.
5
SPEAKER_00
Think I think I want it.
5
SPEAKER_00
I want to say I want to say yes.
5
SPEAKER_00
I want to say it s 21 enough Okay, well then I ll see you in like three years How old are you I m 18 I
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_00
No, I, um, no, I, I, I getcha, man.
5
SPEAKER_00
When I was, um, fucking, uh, uh, 18, 19, 20, there were all kinds of shows I wanted to go to that I could not go to because I was a, a little boy.
5
SPEAKER_00
Um, well, anyway, we re on the phone right now.
5
SPEAKER_00
Kylie, what s, what s up with you?
5
SPEAKER_00
Is there anything in particular you wanted to talk about?
5
SPEAKER_02
Um, kind of, I wanted to talk to you about my, uh, looming problem of giving myself too much to do and never feeling like I m being productive enough.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_00
What are you, what are you giving yourself so much to do?
5
SPEAKER_02
Um, well, uh, I m becoming a sophomore in college in a couple of weeks and I took on like
5
SPEAKER_02
four jobs on campus, and I m also a STEM major.
5
SPEAKER_02
So I m kind of freaking out because I have to go back to college in two weeks.
5
SPEAKER_02
And then I will lose all my social life after that.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, I mean, I don t have any advice for you.
5
SPEAKER_00
When I was in college, I was a film major, and my roommate was a bi... He was a biology major, and so he hated me because I had nothing to do, ever, because I was studying a not real thing, and he had everything to do, always, because he was studying a real thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
I, I don t, I, I, I have no, I get, well, cause when I, I, when I was in college, I, I tried really hard to not have to do anything to avoid specifically the issue that you have.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, no, I get that.
5
SPEAKER_02
See, my parents, they always warned me because my dad, he was like that.
5
SPEAKER_02
He went to college, just kind of have fun.
5
SPEAKER_02
And then he always tells me, oh, you better be very serious in college.
5
SPEAKER_02
You better work hard and.
5
SPEAKER_02
and do all this stuff so you can not work hard when you re older.
5
SPEAKER_00
What, I mean, what, so you re, what do you, what STEM thing are you in?
5
SPEAKER_02
Uh, something microbiology or chemistry.
5
SPEAKER_02
I m still trying to figure it out.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
5
SPEAKER_00
That sounds, that sounds, that sounds awful.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s really, it s really bad.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know what s a bummer is that sounds so awful, but I know that someone has to do it.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know why I couldn t explain why chemistry is important, but like I know it is obviously, right?
5
SPEAKER_02
I mean, yeah, it s very important.
5
SPEAKER_02
Honestly, I don t know what I would do.
5
SPEAKER_02
I m just trying to learn it right now, but I d love to be involved with it.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s very cool.
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you have like a vision for the future of a thing you want to do?
5
SPEAKER_02
Um, I kind of wanted to go into water treatment analysis across the world, you know, that sounds important.
5
SPEAKER_00
That sounds.
5
SPEAKER_02
Oh yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
Big time, big time.
5
SPEAKER_00
So what are these things that you re doing outside of, uh, just the school that is giving you too much stuff?
5
SPEAKER_02
So I m not going to say the college that I go to, but it s a really small one here in Virginia.
5
SPEAKER_02
Um, and I,
5
SPEAKER_02
became part of, you know, you ever like heard about the student assemblies that are at colleges and on campuses and stuff?
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, I got involved.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
I got involved in one last year and then I decided to do it again this year.
5
SPEAKER_02
So now I m the vice president of that, which means I m going to run all the events on campus, trying to get things going, have student engagement.
5
SPEAKER_02
And then I also became the, I started a club because I was bored.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s a journalism club where we write about the stuff going on.
5
SPEAKER_02
So I got to lead that.
5
SPEAKER_02
And then I also, Duke and me decided to apply for this position in the Board of Visitors of the campus, which I would be the student representative of that.
5
SPEAKER_02
And I have to work with the president of the college and then the other college that works with us.
5
SPEAKER_02
I also became a residential assistant for the dormitories, so I have to work there as well.
5
SPEAKER_00
Dude, Jesus Christ.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I know.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s a problem.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, out of all those things, do you have a genuine, actual desire?
6
SPEAKER_01
Which ones do you have a real genuine passion and desire to do, versus just doing them because you signed up?
6
SPEAKER_00
The RA one I really wanted to do because they give you free room and board, so I would get out of the house, which sounds really nice.
6
SPEAKER_00
The Board of Visitors one s really nice because I get to meet a lot of the higher-ups for the colleges and meet some really cool, amazing people.
6
SPEAKER_00
I get to talk to representatives in Virginia.
6
SPEAKER_00
people on boards and committees and... Okay.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Those two are probably the most important.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay, the journalism thing, do you... Is that something you were just doing because you were bored or something you actively still enjoy?
6
SPEAKER_00
I d say I still enjoy it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Another thing with it is I started working with the communications board leader guy.
6
SPEAKER_00
He s a douchebag.
6
SPEAKER_00
And he told me he was going to
6
SPEAKER_00
make me one of his interns and if I just led the club, he would pay me like $200 a week just to lead the club and write the newsletter for him.
6
SPEAKER_00
So I d say that s pretty important.
6
SPEAKER_01
And what was the first thing?
6
SPEAKER_01
Some, the student events thing?
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah, yeah, the vice president of the student assembly or whatever.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m gonna go ahead and say that because you forgot about that one, it s the least important to you.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
Alright.
6
SPEAKER_00
No, I kind of did that one out of spite.
6
SPEAKER_01
Alright.
6
SPEAKER_00
Because I didn t want the other person to win.
6
SPEAKER_01
Alright, so you could ditch that.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, no, for sure.
6
SPEAKER_01
Alright.
6
SPEAKER_01
Alright, so we re down one.
6
SPEAKER_01
Kylie I m actually really I m actually pretty fucking terrible with Advice, but I m thinking about this as I m talking to you Alright ditch the one that you don t have a good explanation for and then every single one of the other ones In the times in which you re stressing out
6
SPEAKER_01
I would say, remember the reasons that you just gave as to why you re in all of those things.
6
SPEAKER_01
And hopefully those reasons, if not dispelling your stress, will at least make it feel as though your stress is worth something.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s amazing.
6
SPEAKER_00
I like that.
6
SPEAKER_00
You know, I was really worried.
6
SPEAKER_00
I ve been worrying about it all summer, trying to figure out how I m going to deal with all of it.
6
SPEAKER_00
You know, I ve grown up and I ve been taught that you never work enough.
6
SPEAKER_00
So even though I m doing all these things, I still feel like I m not working as hard as I should be.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I m trying to- Okay, but when you say as hard, but the word should, okay?
6
SPEAKER_01
See, here s the thing.
6
SPEAKER_01
I ve lost track of all the things that you re doing, but you gave me at least three of them, I think.
6
SPEAKER_01
You gave me like well thought out,
6
SPEAKER_01
reasons as to why you re doing them that are more significant than I should this vague nonsense thing that doesn t really make that comes from nowhere and it s nothing that whole I should thing.
6
SPEAKER_01
So next time you feel like you re stressed out or like you should be doing something, forget about the should and think about the actual reasons behind the things that you re doing and let those guide your behavior instead of the should.
6
SPEAKER_01
Because it s good that we talked about this, because you have actual reasons that you gave me.
6
SPEAKER_01
You said that you can meet this person, you do this thing because you like this, this gives you free this so you can save money to do this.
6
SPEAKER_01
Those are all actual, tangible, good reasons.
6
SPEAKER_01
Then the one that you thought about, where it was like, no, the reason is for spite.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s a terrible reason.
6
SPEAKER_01
You get rid of that one.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then these actual, you have actual things to guide you further.
6
SPEAKER_01
Does that make sense?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it does make sense.
6
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
6
SPEAKER_01
Good.
6
SPEAKER_01
Good.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m glad that made sense, because a lot of the times, I don t really know what I m doing.
6
SPEAKER_01
Why am I doing this?
6
SPEAKER_00
Okay, now it s my turn.
6
SPEAKER_00
You re helping out people.
6
SPEAKER_00
Don t worry about it.
6
SPEAKER_01
I hope so.
6
SPEAKER_01
Why do I do this?
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t know, man.
6
SPEAKER_00
I could sell t-shirts sometimes, that s fun.
6
SPEAKER_00
You ve gone out and met so many people, that s something I ve always wanted to do.
6
SPEAKER_00
Just to meet tons of people and learn tons of things.
6
SPEAKER_00
But have the guts to do it.
6
SPEAKER_01
You ll get to, I think you ll get to do that.
6
SPEAKER_01
Well, actually, I don t know, because you re studying, uh... Real, you re going into, like, chemistry.
6
SPEAKER_00
Mm-hmm.
6
SPEAKER_01
I don t know, I don t know anything about that.
6
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if you can meet people doing chemistry.
6
SPEAKER_00
Well, you can do a lot of things with that.
6
SPEAKER_00
You know, and there are some microbiologists that work with the delegate and people in the house and do all types of work with them.
6
SPEAKER_00
So science is everywhere.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then climate change, you know, my chemistry professor, she s, she s an active study in that and teaches a course on it.
6
SPEAKER_00
That could be important.
6
SPEAKER_01
I ve said this on the podcast like 10 times, but I always feel like with climate change, you know, I don t know about you, but I m, I m ready.
6
SPEAKER_00
No, I feel the exact same way.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, my God.
6
SPEAKER_00
You know, it s a natural process, the way the world works, by the way.
6
SPEAKER_00
Fires are completely normal.
6
SPEAKER_00
The world goes through cycles.
6
SPEAKER_00
And, you know, we re just an organism, human race.
6
SPEAKER_00
We re just an organism, plain and simple.
6
SPEAKER_00
And if we re not benefiting the Earth, the Earth is going to get rid of us.
6
SPEAKER_00
And that s fine, because we re not doing a good job.
6
SPEAKER_00
I ll say that much.
6
SPEAKER_01
Well, I m going to make sure to smoke a ton of weed and eat a lot of McDonald s before we re all dead.
6
SPEAKER_01
Kylie, is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?
6
SPEAKER_00
No.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think I ve said too much already.
6
SPEAKER_01
Good luck, Kylie.
6
SPEAKER_01
God bless you.
6
SPEAKER_01
And Jesus Christ, too.
6
SPEAKER_00
Thank you, you too.
6
SPEAKER_01
Bye, dude.
6
SPEAKER_00
Good night.
6
SPEAKER_00
Bye.
6
SPEAKER_00
But he s not really an expert.