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SPEAKER_03
A new season of Bridgerton is here.
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SPEAKER_03
And with it, a new season of Bridgerton, the official podcast.
0
SPEAKER_03
I m your host, Gabby Collins.
0
SPEAKER_03
And this season, we are bringing fans even deeper into the ton.
0
SPEAKER_03
Watch season three of the Shondaland series on Netflix.
0
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Then fall in love all over again by listening to Bridgerton, the official podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Subscribe to catch a new episode every Thursday.
0
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Guess what, Will?
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What s that, Mango?
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I ve been trying to write a promo for our podcast, Part-Time Genius, but even though we ve done over 250 episodes, we don t really talk about murders or cults.
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I mean, we did just cover the Illuminati of cheese, so I feel like that makes us pretty edgy.
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We also solve mysteries like how Chinese is your Chinese food and how do dollar stores make money?
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And then, of course, can you game a dog show?
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So what you re saying is everyone should be listening.
0
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Listen to Part-Time Genius on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
0
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Hey everyone, this is Molly and Matt and we re the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.
0
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It s a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting.
0
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Like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.
0
SPEAKER_06
Let s learn about all of it and then some.
0
SPEAKER_06
Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on America s number one podcast network, iHeart.
0
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Open your free iHeart app and search Grown Up Stuff.
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Jay Shetty s podcast, On Purpose, is the number one health and wellness podcast.
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The president participated in an interview with Jay Shetty, who you all may know, to discuss the administration s effort to tackle the mental health crisis.
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Mr. President.
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How are you, ma am?
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SPEAKER_01
Such a pleasure.
0
SPEAKER_01
Good to see you.
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SPEAKER_01
Thank you for this honor.
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Thank you.
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Very, very grateful.
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The day will come when you open that closet door and you smell the fragrance of her dresses, or you re going by that park where you walked with your child or your wife or your husband, or the thing that reminds you that for the longest time will just bring a tear to your eye.
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But eventually, every once in a while, it ll bring a smile to your lips before it brings a tear to your eye.
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When that happens, you know you re gonna make it.
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I m so grateful and honored that you re here with me right now.
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Thank you so much for all your love and all your support for On Purpose.
0
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It s incredible what we ve been creating together, what we ve been building together, and I m so excited to share some big news with you.
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This is an extremely special interview today as I m sitting down with the President of the United States, Joe Biden.
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This is only possible because of all your love and support for the podcast and making us a platform that the president and his team felt was right to talk about mental health.
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This conversation is dedicated to the person behind the podium.
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I always want to get to know the human behind the title, behind the position, behind what they do in the world and spotlight and shine a light on mental health.
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We talk about so many of the things that he s gone through in his personal life.
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I m so grateful that I got to have this conversation that we re gonna share with the world at large and make sure that mental health is a mainstream conversation because it s so integral to all of our lives.
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I hope you enjoy this conversation.
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Thank you for all your love and support.
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It means the world to me.
0
SPEAKER_01
Hey, everyone.
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Welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health and wellness podcast in the world, thanks to each and every one of you that come back every week to learn, listen, and grow.
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Now, you know our mission here is to make the world happier, healthier, and more healed.
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And I believe that learning about people s stories of healing, of grief, of loss, of growth
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is a powerful way to do that.
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And today I ve been graciously invited to the White House and I m sitting with Mr. President.
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And I m so grateful and honored to be here and to have you on our platform and for you to choose our platform to have this conversation.
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I couldn t be more honored.
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Thank you so much.
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SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
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I m glad you d want to interview me.
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Absolutely.
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Well, let s dive straight in.
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The first question I d like to ask you is,
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What is your earliest childhood memory that you believe defines who you are today and the person you ve become?
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The earliest memory I have is, there s two of them.
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One is, there was a bully in the neighborhood, lived down an area called The Plot, and we lived up the hill.
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And I was out with my friends in the alley behind our house, and my mother was at the pantry looking out.
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The tough guy in the neighborhood smacked me.
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He was a couple years older than me, and I came in holding my face.
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And my grandfather was at the kitchen table and said, what s the matter, Joey?
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And he said, well, that s a shame.
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I walked in, and my mother said, Joey, go back out there.
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She said, go back out there, she said, walk up to, wait till he walks up to you.
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And as soon as he does, smack him right in the nose, in the nose.
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She said, I ll give you 50 cents if you do it.
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And I said, why, mom?
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She said, you won t be able to walk in that alley again if you don t.
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I was scared to death.
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I walked out, popped him in the nose, it bled, he ran, and I thought, huh.
0
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It worked, but I think the lesson I learned the most, though, is I used to stutter badly.
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And I would talk like that, and then I d catch my rhythm.
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And it was something that I thought was the worst curse could happen to me, because everybody makes fun of it.
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I had a similar experience with being bullied.
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So that resonates very strongly with me.
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I think everybody does.
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I was the runt of the litter.
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No, I really was.
0
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I was a little guy and I was a relatively good athlete even when I was a kid, but I literally was the runt of the litter.
0
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Well, for me, it was my weight.
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I was overweight growing up and it was the color of my skin.
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I grew up in an area where I wasn t surrounded by a lot of Indian people.
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And so those were the two reasons, except my mother didn t give me that advice.
0
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Sometimes I wish she did.
0
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My mother did the opposite.
0
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She actually came into my school
0
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and spoke to the teachers, which was really embarrassing at that age and, you know, not helpful for me.
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh, no, I think maybe it is.
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SPEAKER_00
You know, I had a similar thing.
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I, when I was in, I went to Catholic grade school in high school.
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And you sit, in those days, you sat in alphabetical order.
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I was in the first row, Biden, four people down.
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And reading class, everybody read a paragraph.
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I got to my paragraph, and I remember what it was, because I used to try to memorize it.
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rather than have to look at the word when I was re-reading it.
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And it said, and he was a gentle man.
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And the teacher said, what s that, Mr. Biden?
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She wanted him to say gentlemen, but it s easier to not let her say gentle man.
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I said, gentlemen.
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I said, Mr. Biden, what is that?
0
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And I got up and walked out and walked home, which was about two miles.
0
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And my mother was sitting there tapping the table when I walked in.
0
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She said, get in the car.
0
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Went down in the car, we walked in, went to the principal s office, sat me outside the door.
0
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The door was cracked, you know, it was one of those opaque glasses, glass windows, and it didn t go to the ceiling.
0
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Anyway, to make a long story short, she said, I d like to speak to the teacher, my mother said.
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And she said, I said, I d like to speak to the teacher.
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So the teacher walks in, looked at me like, you re in trouble now, Biden.
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Walked in, sat down, there was a crack in the door.
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I ll never forget this.
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And my mother, Catherine Eugenia Finnegan Biden, and she looked and I could say, what did you say to my son?
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She said, did you say Biden?
0
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So I was just trying to make a point, Mrs. Biden.
0
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She said, if you ever do that again, I ll come back and rip that bonnet off your head.
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Do you understand me?
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I swear to God.
0
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Get up, walk down, go back to class, Joey.
0
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But you know, it s,
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Everybody has something that is tough, particularly when you re younger.
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And it makes such a difference when somebody reaches out.
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I m sure you had also had some experience where someone would say, come on.
0
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Like, for example, there s more than a handful of young stutterers.
0
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They re not so young anymore that I still keep in touch with it.
0
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One young kid introduced me when I ran for president, took such courage because he talked like that, and he practiced, and he practiced, and he practiced, but it s had a profound impact on his life.
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Another young man, when I was vice president, he was, I could tell, you can tell a stutterer if you re a stutterer just by when he was in line with his mom who was in Tennessee and I was doing a thing for Al Gore.
0
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And she introduced her son and I could see him go.
0
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I said, hey, I m about to finish my speech.
0
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Why don t you come help me write it?
0
SPEAKER_00
And the mother looked at me, and he looked at me, and took him in, and I showed him how I marked up my speeches so that I could get a little cadence with what I did.
0
SPEAKER_00
Did you ever see the movie The King s Speech?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yes, of course.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, the gentleman who had a copy of the King s speech sent me a copy.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I don t know if I have my book with me, but there s one of these days I ll show you my speeches.
1
SPEAKER_00
I looked at it and I marked it up the same way.
1
SPEAKER_00
Every speech I mark up is the same way.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think they might have it.
1
SPEAKER_00
See the slash marks I put on?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
1
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Well, it s just to help me.
1
SPEAKER_00
But, you know, there were people who reached out to me, too.
1
SPEAKER_00
Empedim was the best thing that ever happened to me.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s incredible, isn t it, how a challenge that you re going through actually helps you become more compassionate and empathetic towards other people?
1
SPEAKER_00
It s kind of human nature for most people.
1
SPEAKER_00
When you understand the pain someone s feeling, your first instinct is, look, we have an expression in the family from the time I was a kid.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s all about showing up.
1
SPEAKER_00
to just being there.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I imagine the times when you were down because they re making fun of your Indian heritage and an all-white population, that having someone come up and say, hey, come on, you and me, let s do boom, makes a difference.
1
SPEAKER_00
Absolutely.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I ll never forget.
1
SPEAKER_01
You ve just reminded me.
1
SPEAKER_01
Ian Windes was his name.
1
SPEAKER_01
He was the toughest kid in school.
1
SPEAKER_01
and he had my back.
1
SPEAKER_01
That was that person that reached out to me.
1
SPEAKER_01
So if anyone had a problem with me, they had a problem with him.
1
SPEAKER_01
He d take care of it.
1
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I felt very safe, felt very safe with Ian.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, it really is all about reaching out, isn t it?
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, for real.
1
SPEAKER_00
Think of all the young people today.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think that there s more anxiety and loneliness today than there s been
1
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in a long, long time.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know my friend, I appointed him Admiral McMurphy.
1
SPEAKER_00
He was telling me about, you know, the percentage of young people today who are feeling lonely, alone.
1
SPEAKER_00
And sometimes it s just touching, just showing up.
1
SPEAKER_00
I used to get my deceased son, Bo, who should be sitting here instead of me, would always say, Dad, you don t have time to make that call.
1
SPEAKER_00
I d get in a plane and go home, and because someone had a serious problem, lost a wife, a daughter, and I d say, Dad, you don t have time.
1
SPEAKER_00
When he passed away, hundreds of people told me how he called.
1
SPEAKER_00
He showed up.
1
SPEAKER_00
He was there.
1
SPEAKER_00
And because of people who showed up,
1
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It just really matters.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
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You ve been through, you mentioned it there, you ve been through so much tragic loss in your life as you just mentioned there.
1
SPEAKER_01
You didn t run for presidency in 2016 shortly after the loss of your son.
1
SPEAKER_01
You ve lost your first wife and daughter in a horrific accident.
1
SPEAKER_01
I can t even begin to understand how someone
1
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has the courage to process that much loss and grief, let alone move forward in the way you have, it s truly admirable.
1
SPEAKER_01
How did you begin?
1
SPEAKER_00
I had an overwhelming advantage in the loss, and that was I had a really close family that was there.
1
SPEAKER_00
For example, when my wife and daughter were killed, my first wife, and my two boys were very badly injured, a tractor trailer brought side of them.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was not in the accident.
1
SPEAKER_00
When I got home from the hospital, my sister and her husband already gave up their apartment and moved in, helped me raise my kid.
1
SPEAKER_00
My brother, we lived in a suburban area.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was more country than suburban.
1
SPEAKER_00
And there was a little barn, a garage barn.
1
SPEAKER_00
My brother came and he turned the loft of the barn into an apartment for himself.
1
SPEAKER_00
They were there for me all the time.
1
SPEAKER_00
That was a gigantic difference.
1
SPEAKER_00
My best friend in my life and my sister and my brother.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so I had an enormous advantage.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I think that
1
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When you see people who are going through something tough, it does matter if you reach out.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it does matter.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like, for example, you know, you have a, when you re a senator for all the years I was in a small state, you know, so many people, and people would pass away, you d show up at the wake of the funeral.
1
SPEAKER_00
No matter what was happening, I learned it early on, people would stop and just come and throw their arms around me.
1
SPEAKER_00
Because if they know you know the pain they feel, they get some solace in it.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s not always easy, but it just matters just to reach out, let people know you see them.
1
SPEAKER_01
How did you allow yourself to receive that help too?
1
SPEAKER_01
I feel like as you were mentioning earlier,
1
SPEAKER_01
with the loneliness and anxiety that exists, a lot of people either struggle to know what to say.
1
SPEAKER_01
I think we live in a society where people are like, well, what do I say if they ve gone through that?
1
SPEAKER_01
And the opposite end, what you just said, being able to be open enough to actually receive help requires a certain amount of courage and strength as well.
1
SPEAKER_00
Raising a family for real, an extended family, my grandparents as well, where my dad had an expression, family s the beginning, middle, and end.
1
SPEAKER_00
There was a rule in the family growing up, not a joke.
1
SPEAKER_00
We didn t know it at the time, but whenever you wanted to speak to your mother or father, they said, he had a problem.
1
SPEAKER_00
No matter what they were doing, they stopped.
1
SPEAKER_00
no matter what they were doing, they stopped and heard you, listened to you.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I did the same with my children and they did the same with theirs because it s a matter of them knowing that.
1
SPEAKER_00
They are the most important thing in your life.
1
SPEAKER_00
If they got a problem, you re there to listen.
1
SPEAKER_00
I have seven grandkids, five of them old enough to talk on the phone.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know, every day I either text them or call them.
1
SPEAKER_00
And as a matter of fact, during the campaign, I didn t realize they were having an interview on the four oldest grandchildren.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I said, and just at the time, and I said, they call me Pop.
1
SPEAKER_00
Pop calls us every day or texts us every day.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I call them, the phone rang.
1
SPEAKER_00
While they re in the interview.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, I give my word, I had no idea they were in there.
1
SPEAKER_00
But it s a, look, I just think being there is important and it makes such a difference, I think.
1
SPEAKER_00
knowing that someone s going to be there for you, just to listen, just to hold you, just to hug you.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
When the Taliban banned music in Afghanistan, millions were plunged into silence.
1
SPEAKER_02
Radios were smashed, cassettes burned.
1
SPEAKER_02
You could be beaten or jailed or killed for breaking the rules.
1
SPEAKER_02
And yet, Afghans did it anyway.
1
SPEAKER_02
This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.
1
SPEAKER_02
The danger they endured.
1
SPEAKER_03
They said my head should be cut off.
1
SPEAKER_02
The joy they brought to the nation.
1
SPEAKER_05
You re free completely.
1
SPEAKER_05
No one is there to destroy you.
1
SPEAKER_02
I m John Legend.
1
SPEAKER_02
Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
1
SPEAKER_05
A new season of Bridgerton is here.
1
SPEAKER_05
And with it, a new season of Bridgerton, the official podcast.
1
SPEAKER_05
I m your host, Gabrielle Collins.
1
SPEAKER_05
And this season, we are bringing fans even deeper into the ton.
1
SPEAKER_05
Colin Bridgerton has returned from his travels abroad.
1
SPEAKER_05
Is Betrothal written in the stars for the eligible bachelor?
1
SPEAKER_05
Meanwhile, the ton is reverberating with speculation of who holds Lady Whistledown s pen.
1
SPEAKER_05
We re discussing it all.
1
SPEAKER_05
I sit down with Nicola Coughlin, Luke Newton, Shonda Rhimes, and more to offer an exclusive peek behind the scenes of each episode of the new season.
1
SPEAKER_05
Watch season three of the Shondaland series on Netflix.
1
SPEAKER_05
Then fall in love all over again by listening to Bridgerton, the official podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
1
SPEAKER_05
Subscribe to catch a new episode every Thursday.
1
SPEAKER_04
Hey everyone, this is Molly and Matt and we re the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.
1
SPEAKER_03
It s a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting.
1
SPEAKER_04
like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.
1
SPEAKER_03
We re back with season two of the podcast, which means more opportunities to glow up and become a more responsible and better adult, one life lesson at a time.
1
SPEAKER_04
And let me just tell you, this show is just as much for us as it is for you.
1
SPEAKER_04
So let s figure this stuff out together.
1
SPEAKER_04
This season, we re going to talk about whether or not we re financially and emotionally ready for dog ownership.
1
SPEAKER_03
We re going to figure out the benefits of a high yield savings account.
1
SPEAKER_04
And what exactly are the duties of being a member of the wedding party?
2
SPEAKER_00
All that plus so much more.
2
SPEAKER_01
Let s learn about all of it and then some.
2
SPEAKER_01
Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
2
SPEAKER_00
I believe you re right, I believe we often overcomplicate things.
2
SPEAKER_00
We think we have to say the perfect thing, we have to have the solution, we have to be able to fix someone s problem.
2
SPEAKER_00
I agree.
2
SPEAKER_01
But it s just, half of it is just showing up.
2
SPEAKER_01
Even people you don t know that well, but you ve met, the fact you d call and say, I m thinking of you, I ve learned this from my experience, the day will come
2
SPEAKER_01
When you open that closet door and you smell the fragrance of her dresses, or you re going by that park where you walked with your child or your wife or your husband, or the thing that reminds you, and for the longest time will just bring a tear to your eye.
2
SPEAKER_01
But eventually, every once in a while, it ll bring a smile to your lips before it brings a tear to your eye.
2
SPEAKER_01
When that happens, you know you re going to make it.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s the moment you know, I made it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Doesn t mean you still don t cry.
2
SPEAKER_01
Doesn t mean the pain still isn t real, even years later.
2
SPEAKER_01
But you know you can make it.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think there s an advantage sometimes if you have deep faith, whether you re, you know, Catholic, Protestant, Hindu, Jewish, Muslim, you know, whatever.
2
SPEAKER_01
My family, when they want to get an important message to me, they tape it on the mirror in the bathroom.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m serious, not a joke.
2
SPEAKER_01
So you wake up in the morning and... Yeah, no, it s on the mirror.
2
SPEAKER_01
I guess I was down early on, it s not going to be 10 years ago,
2
SPEAKER_01
And my daughter, Ashley, taped on my, she s a social worker, taped on my mirror.
2
SPEAKER_01
Happiness is something to do, someone to love and someone to look forward to.
2
SPEAKER_01
And dad, you have all those things.
2
SPEAKER_00
Just remind you, you know.
2
SPEAKER_00
I think what you just said about the smile before the tear is probably one of the realest things I ve ever heard.
2
SPEAKER_00
I think we often are trying to create a world in which we only have smiles and we re,
2
SPEAKER_00
We put pressure on ourselves and the people around us to be forever happy.
2
SPEAKER_00
And what you just said there was really, really resonated with me, really hit me actually.
2
SPEAKER_00
The idea that you will cry, it will happen, but that tiny smile that you experience, even through a loss, even through grief, you re fortunate that you got to have that experience that allowed you to find that smile at that time.
2
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And I feel like you ve been through so many obstacles in your life, but I d love to know what you see as the relationship between vulnerability and strength, especially as a leader, because I think leaders have an overarching pressure to display strength in a certain way.
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I ll give you an example.
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I coach several CEOs and individuals, athletes, and others.
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And one of the CEOs who leads a large organization called me a few months ago, and we were working through some things together.
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And at one point I said to them, I said, it would be really wonderful for you to tell your teams that you lead what you ve been going through and growing through.
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And they said, Jay, I don t know if I can tell them.
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I don t know if I can tell them.
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And I said, why?
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And they said, well, because it will look like I m weak.
2
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And I said to them, well, no, you being vulnerable and sharing your growth is the greatest strength.
2
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That s not a weakness, but that was new because so many leaders feel they have to portray a certain type of strength.
2
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But even today, I can see there s a grace in the way you re sharing.
2
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Well, I have a rule that I thought that everybody in my staff knew because I had, when I was a senator for a long time, at one point, I don t know how they measured it,
2
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I had the same staff longer than anybody in the Senate at the time.
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For example, we were doing a very, very important Supreme Court hearing.
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I was chairman of the Judiciary Committee.
2
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And we worked on it very hard and did all the research and, you know, anyway.
2
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And there was one young man who people say was invaluable because he s the guy who knew all the detail about certain things.
2
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And I found out that he was having trouble at home.
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And I said, I want you to go home.
2
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Don t come to the hearing.
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He said, I can t.
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Go home.
2
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Go home.
2
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And you know why?
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Because I would go home.
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I have a thousand bosses, but only one.
2
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Me.
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No one.
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And so I know when I had crises at home, raising the boys, whatever, I went home.
2
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I don t know how many years ago it was, but in this job as vice president, another person was having some trouble at home.
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And I found out about it.
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I said, go home.
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They said, no, no, I can t.
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I got it.
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I said, if you don t go home, I m going to fire you.
2
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Go home.
2
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Your relationship is a hell of a lot more important than whatever you re doing for me.
2
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So that s a rule we have, not a joke.
2
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Absolutely not, and you never have to tell me why.
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All you gotta say is, I m not gonna be in.
2
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I take it you re worried.
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If it turns out you re playing games with me, I ll learn, but I know you too well.
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Take the time, because you re not gonna be any better than your relationship.
2
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And that s a little bit what you were just talking about.
2
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And you know, I think,
2
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You d have to ask my staff, I don t know, but I think they, as long as they know, that s more important, more important than doing whatever specific thing you re doing at that moment for me.
2
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How do you apply that rule when it feels like what they are working on this specific moment seems obviously to be the most important thing in the world?
2
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How do you... Well, because there s only one advantage of getting older.
2
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you ve had a lot of experience and you can apply a little bit of wisdom.
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It s really critical.
2
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And by the way, there s a selfie sax bet to it because when you have a problem with someone you love or some problem, you know, you got to deal with it.
2
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Yeah.
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And you can t even perform as well.
2
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Exactly right.
2
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Yeah, absolutely.
2
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You ve every day for years had to make difficult and stressful decisions.
2
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high stakes, hugely impactful on so many people.
2
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When you re making decisions, do you follow your head, your heart, your gut?
2
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How do you think about decision making?
2
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I don t know how to separate the three.
2
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Many times my heart brings me to the problem.
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My gut tells me what I think I want to do.
2
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but my head, meaning the research, the back, sometimes says that s the wrong answer.
2
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I think you re driven by a value set.
2
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You know what you value.
2
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You know what you think is important in life.
2
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You know what you think is consequential.
2
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And I think people who know what they value, doesn t mean they re better or worse, but if you follow your value set, to me,
2
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They re kind of basic things.
2
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My dad used to have an expression, for real.
2
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He d say, Joey, everyone s entitled to be treated with dignity.
2
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Everybody.
2
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Dignity was his word.
2
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Dignity.
2
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And what I find myself looking through the prism, for example, I was at an event the other day where I was talking and we were talking about a problem a mom was having providing for the health and needs of a child, of actually a teenager.
2
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I said, all I could think of when hearing about not being able to afford the treatment was how she s deprived of her dignity.
2
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about it because you don t have the financial wherewithal, because you don t have the connection, but you don t know where to go.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s a little bit like, you know, I think the most dangerous, the most hated word in English language and any other language translated is cancer.
2
SPEAKER_01
You have cancer.
2
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It just strikes fear in everybody.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, it s one thing to get an analysis by a great doctor, but you still need someone to guide you through.
2
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It s complicated.
2
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And we re finding significant breakthroughs in cancer.
2
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But you need someone to sort of lead you through who knows about it.
2
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I think it s the same way with about any problem people have.
2
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If there s a way to let people know there s an avenue, there s a way through.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, I used to have a friend named Bob Gold who
2
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who died of a heart attack.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I used to say, Bob, do you understand me?
2
SPEAKER_01
He said, Joe, I don t understand you.
2
SPEAKER_01
I overstand you.
2
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But you got to know how to know.
2
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And that s why we can be so of little things that can be of enormous value.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s like, you know, you re walking across an intersection.
2
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They don t let me do that anymore.
2
SPEAKER_01
But you walk across
3
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intersection and there s a, you know, an elderly man or woman knowing they re waiting to see if they have enough time.
3
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Just grabbing their hand and walking them across.
3
SPEAKER_03
It s a little tiny thing, but the anxiety, it relieves.
3
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Yeah, no, that resonates.
3
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The idea of the more we re a part of the solution, the less the problem feels overwhelming.
3
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I think so.
3
SPEAKER_03
I have to admit, when you ve been through something,
3
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that s been particularly difficult.
3
SPEAKER_03
Helping someone going through it, again, forces you to relive your experience.
3
SPEAKER_03
Like, for example, the people I admire when we have functions where we re trying to make a point how we can help someone with health care, whatever it is.
3
SPEAKER_03
The people who ve been through it who show up and support it, I always compliment them because it s like it happened yesterday when you start to focus on it.
3
SPEAKER_03
And it s hard.
3
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We underestimate what we can do.
3
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I don t know about being president.
3
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I mean, just what we can do in terms of dealing with people.
3
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I try to understand.
3
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what is motivating the other person when I m doing things internationally or personally.
3
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Because if you can understand what motivates them, there s a shot.
3
SPEAKER_03
Even with the bad guys, you can break through and get something done.
3
SPEAKER_03
There s a way to expose the meanness
3
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without causing direct conflict.
3
SPEAKER_03
For example, I remember I went to a Catholic grade school and we didn t often get invited to the cotillion, which was in the local school down the street at Mount Pleasant School.
3
SPEAKER_03
And so I got invited and I was gonna go, I was all excited about going.
3
SPEAKER_03
I think it was ninth grade, maybe it was eighth grade, a little dance.
3
SPEAKER_03
And there was a guy who was a good athlete.
3
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I was a relatively good athlete.
3
SPEAKER_03
He was a good athlete from the school, the other school, big guy.
3
SPEAKER_03
Became friends.
3
SPEAKER_03
But so I m getting dressed and I didn t have a shirt to wear.
3
SPEAKER_03
So my mother got my uncle s shirt, who was a smaller man than my dad, and French cuffs and rolled up the cuffs so it would look like it fit.
3
SPEAKER_03
And I couldn t find my dad s, we couldn t find my dad s cufflinks.
3
SPEAKER_03
So my mom went and got a nut and a bolt from, I wonder why she was down downstairs in the laundry room looking for, and put them on.
3
SPEAKER_03
I said, mom, I can t do this.
3
SPEAKER_03
They ll make fun of me.
3
SPEAKER_03
I ll be embarrassed.
3
SPEAKER_03
She said, anybody comes up and says anything to you, you look at them and say, and here s what she told me to say.
3
SPEAKER_03
This guy, Frank, came up to me and said, hey, look at Biden.
3
SPEAKER_03
Look what he s got here.
3
SPEAKER_03
Hey.
3
SPEAKER_03
And I looked at him and said, you don t have a pair of these?
3
SPEAKER_03
And he said, well, yeah, yeah, I got a pair.
3
SPEAKER_02
But I m serious.
3
SPEAKER_02
How do you assess people s motivations?
3
SPEAKER_02
Like you were just saying there, that when you can understand someone s motivation, you can almost disarm them without exposing them, which is what you just gave that example of now.
3
SPEAKER_02
How do we do that so that we go to the root of it?
3
SPEAKER_02
I think often we get so caught up in
3
SPEAKER_02
what we think someone s thinking or what we think someone s saying, but actually going to the heart of it and the root of it.
3
SPEAKER_03
You know, it s hard to explain.
3
SPEAKER_03
I get credit for these days for sort of holding the international community together.
3
SPEAKER_03
I try to understand
3
SPEAKER_03
what the circumstance the other world leader is facing.
3
SPEAKER_03
And see if there s a way, what needs to be done, there s a way through that he doesn t or she doesn t have to make a great sacrifice to do what she s doing, but help make the case why they re helping others.
3
SPEAKER_03
But there s ways to do that.
3
SPEAKER_03
And it doesn t require the person, if they have a fundamental difference with you on a subject,
3
SPEAKER_03
But if they re doing something because they don t have the political bandwidth to be able to do it at home, you can provide it.
3
SPEAKER_03
I will say to leaders sometimes, well, why don t you let me criticize you for this or thank you for that?
3
SPEAKER_03
And most of the time, now you don t do that off the top of your head, you gotta know some of these people.
3
SPEAKER_03
They ll go, okay.
3
SPEAKER_03
Or why don t you criticize me?
3
SPEAKER_03
Why don t you criticize me
3
SPEAKER_03
for my not doing something, and then I ll respond and say, okay, and then you can do what you want to do.
3
SPEAKER_03
It s just basic human nature.
3
SPEAKER_03
But I think trying to figure out
3
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what leeway a person has.
3
SPEAKER_03
I don t expect everybody that I m dealing with to appear in the second editions of Profiles in Courage, nor me.
3
SPEAKER_03
I mean, it s hard, but there s ways you can work, not always,
3
SPEAKER_03
but you can work through things where you can allow the other person to save face and still get to where you want to go.
3
SPEAKER_03
And sometimes it works with, you re working with two people to get that done.
3
SPEAKER_03
But it s just trying to figure out what is really, what impediments are in their way to keep them from being able to do what you know, you feel in your gut, you know they know they should do.
3
SPEAKER_00
Guess what, Mango?
3
SPEAKER_00
What s that, Will?
3
SPEAKER_00
So iHeart is giving us a whole minute to promote our podcast, Part-Time Genius.
3
SPEAKER_01
I know, that s why I spent my whole week composing a haiku for the occasion.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s about my emotional journey in podcasting over the last seven years, and it s called Earthquake House.
3
SPEAKER_00
Mango, I m going to cut you off right there.
3
SPEAKER_01
Why don t we just tell people about our show instead?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s a better idea.
3
SPEAKER_01
So every week on Part-Time Genius, we feed our curiosity by answering the world s most important questions.
3
SPEAKER_01
Things like, when did America start dialing 911?
3
SPEAKER_01
is William Shatner s best acting work in Esperanto.
3
SPEAKER_01
Also, what happened to Esperanto?
3
SPEAKER_00
Plus, we cover questions like how Chinese is your Chinese food?
3
SPEAKER_00
How do dollar stores stay in business?
3
SPEAKER_00
And of course, is there an Illuminati of cheese?
3
SPEAKER_00
There absolutely is.
3
SPEAKER_01
And we are risking our lives by talking about it.
3
SPEAKER_01
But if you love mind blowing facts, incredible history and really bad jokes, make your brains happy and tune in to Part Time Genius.
3
SPEAKER_00
Listen to Part Time Genius on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s a great perspective.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m so happy you shared that because so many of us are fixated on what we want out of something or where we want to get to or what our challenges are.
3
SPEAKER_02
But Mr. President, I m so grateful for your graciousness and kindness in giving me this time today.
3
SPEAKER_02
end every On Purpose interview with a final five.
3
SPEAKER_02
And these final five questions are questions we ask every guest.
3
SPEAKER_02
And there are some great ones in here for you.
3
SPEAKER_02
So the first question I m going to ask you is, what is the best advice you ve ever received?
3
SPEAKER_02
And what s the worst advice you ve ever received?
3
SPEAKER_03
I guess the best advice I ve ever received is show up.
3
SPEAKER_03
Just show up, be there and get up.
3
SPEAKER_03
My mother used to say, Joey, get up.
3
SPEAKER_03
Never bow, never bend, never get up, just get up.
3
SPEAKER_03
But showing up is just, that s a big part.
3
SPEAKER_03
And I guess the worst advice I ve ever received was holding a grudge.
3
SPEAKER_03
Because lots of times when people do something that is really not good, it s because they were fearful and they did it, not fearful of you, but their circumstance.
3
SPEAKER_03
And it gets you nowhere, which means people doubt whether I m really Irish.
3
SPEAKER_03
The joke inside was if I was really Irish.
3
SPEAKER_03
But all kidding aside, remembering is important, but holding a grudge is not helpful.
3
SPEAKER_02
Very true.
3
SPEAKER_02
Very true.
3
SPEAKER_02
First time for both of those answers.
3
SPEAKER_02
I love it.
3
SPEAKER_02
OK, second question.
3
SPEAKER_02
A lot of Americans today are seeking therapy as a form of support.
3
SPEAKER_02
Where does the president seek support and guidance in your own challenges and journey?
3
SPEAKER_03
Well, my best friend is my wife, a woman who has probably had more to do with my success than anyone is my sister, Valerie, and my brother, Jim.
3
SPEAKER_03
And I think that s the place where I go most, but also
3
SPEAKER_03
I have a great advantage.
3
SPEAKER_03
Over the years, I ve grown to have some great, great relationships with people I ve worked with and or one of my staff.
3
SPEAKER_03
And I think most of my staff would tell you, the senior staff, is I don t treat them like they work for me.
3
SPEAKER_03
I treat them which they are.
3
SPEAKER_03
The reason I hire them, I want them to know more than I know.
3
SPEAKER_03
And there s some things that I seek advice from a religious perspective, but that s really personal.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, beautiful.
3
SPEAKER_02
Okay, third question.
3
SPEAKER_02
I believe it s been said that you told your first wife when you met her that you wanted to be, or one day you would be the president of the United States.
3
SPEAKER_02
Is that true?
3
SPEAKER_03
No, it s not true.
3
SPEAKER_03
I love it.
4
SPEAKER_01
I read all this, what I did tell her, and the same with, no man deserves one great love, let alone two, for real.
4
SPEAKER_01
The two women that I married, one passed away.
4
SPEAKER_01
were women I knew when I went out with them the first time I wanted to marry them.
4
SPEAKER_01
My first wife, I told her when I met her, we went to, I went, I had an $89 tax return.
4
SPEAKER_01
I went with five guys down to Florida, and I don t drink, so I was bored with all this.
4
SPEAKER_01
I went to, with three of them, I went to Nassau, where you could apply for 25 bucks round trip.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I met my deceased wife and I told her when I hung out with her for four days down there on the beach and that I was gonna marry her.
4
SPEAKER_01
And she looked at me and said, I think so.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I started commuting every day, every weekend when I was a senior in college.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s how I ended up at Syracuse.
4
SPEAKER_01
She s from there.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then my present wife was, it was a blind date that my brother set up for us.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I knew when I saw her.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was on that 10 most eligible bachelors list for five years, and it s not a fun thing.
4
SPEAKER_01
Because there were a lot of them, don t get me wrong, a lot of nice people, but I d kind of given up on thinking I could have a blind date.
4
SPEAKER_01
I ll never forget my brother said, you ll like her, she doesn t like politics.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m glad I asked that question.
4
SPEAKER_00
Question number four, this is very important to social media.
4
SPEAKER_00
So the question is, there are so many shows today based on the presidency, the White House, mirroring it, shows on TV, streaming platforms.
4
SPEAKER_00
Which one is the most accurate and which one is the least accurate?
4
SPEAKER_01
Mission Impossible.
4
SPEAKER_01
The most or least?
4
SPEAKER_01
Look, I...
4
SPEAKER_01
One of the problems I have is I don t, and I should, I don t watch much television.
4
SPEAKER_01
No, and it s not because I m above it or anything like that.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s just that, for example, for 36 years after the accident occurred, and I commuted every day, 300 miles a day.
4
SPEAKER_01
And the press actually, I had one, I got to know all the conductors so well, I became friends.
4
SPEAKER_01
And one day as vice president, I was going home on the train,
4
SPEAKER_01
Secret Service doesn t like because there s so many opportunities to interrupt the train.
4
SPEAKER_01
And this particular guy, I m not going to embarrass him and say his name, kept grabbing my cheek, he goes, Joey, baby.
4
SPEAKER_01
I thought they re going to shoot him.
4
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, I said, no, no, he s right.
4
SPEAKER_01
He said, I just read in the paper, you travel a million, 100,000 miles on Air Force planes because you have to list how many miles you travel on.
4
SPEAKER_01
And he said, big deal.
4
SPEAKER_01
He said, Joey, we had a retirement dinner.
4
SPEAKER_01
He said, you know what?
4
SPEAKER_01
We figured it out.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know how many miles you travel in Amtrak?
4
SPEAKER_01
I said, no.
4
SPEAKER_01
He said, 1,200,000 miles, 119 days a year, 300 miles round trip, 36 years plus.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m going to go.
4
SPEAKER_01
My point was I was on a train a lot.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so when I get home, there wasn t much to watch.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, not it was to watch, but I d always make sure, I think, and I think, you know, all your guests know this, that children need to know that they re the most important thing in your life.
4
SPEAKER_01
So even if I got home late, I d climb in bed, my two boys at the time,
4
SPEAKER_01
And just even if they re asleep and get up in the morning, and it wasn t like Ozzie and Harriet, I wasn t fixing their breakfast, but I d be there and have breakfast with them.
4
SPEAKER_01
They d take off for school.
4
SPEAKER_01
I d take off for the train.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I ve been back and forth so much.
4
SPEAKER_01
I haven t, I just haven t watched many programs.
4
SPEAKER_01
And by the way, there s a lot of good stuff, I m sure.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, every once in a while I d turn it on.
4
SPEAKER_01
And by the way, they got a great advantage here.
4
SPEAKER_01
You got a movie theater.
4
SPEAKER_01
Inside?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and they tell me I get this list what movies are in and we have the new one that s the Oppenheimer?
4
SPEAKER_01
Oppenheimer, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
I haven t seen it yet.
4
SPEAKER_01
I haven t either.
4
SPEAKER_01
They re the movies I see these days.
4
SPEAKER_01
I get to see them at night once in a while.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
Very nice.
4
SPEAKER_00
Amazing.
4
SPEAKER_00
All right, fifth and final question.
4
SPEAKER_00
We ask this question to every guest who s ever been on the show, but it truly is unique asking you this question.
4
SPEAKER_00
If you could create one law in the world that everyone had to follow, what would it be?
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t think it s a matter of being able to have any one law that could change people s attitudes.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m optimistic.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think we re on the cusp, we re in a time of real change, and we re at an inflection point in world history.
4
SPEAKER_01
Whether I m president or not, things are going to change drastically.
4
SPEAKER_01
And you see it happening all around the world.
4
SPEAKER_01
We have an enormous opportunity, but the thing I want to change is the American attitude that we can do anything.
4
SPEAKER_01
We can do anything.
4
SPEAKER_01
There s nothing we ve ever set our mind to we ve not been able to do, we ve done together.
4
SPEAKER_01
For real.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so I laid out four things that I thought were critically important in my State of the Union.
4
SPEAKER_01
One was to make a fundamental change in cancer treatment.
4
SPEAKER_01
We can cure a lot, and that s why we put another $6 billion.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, pick the impossible thing.
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I have, Caroline Kennedy gave me a copy of President Kennedy s, part of President Kennedy s speech about going to the moon.
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He said, because we refuse to postpone, we have to refuse to postpone anymore.
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There s so much we can do, and I mean it.
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I believe it with every fiber of my being.
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I ve been doing this a long time, and I ve never been more optimistic about our chances than now.
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That s why when I ran, I said I ran for three reasons.
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One, to restore the soul of America, a sense of decency, just the way we talk to one another.
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Secondly, to build this country from the middle out and the bottom up.
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The wealthy still do very well.
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but everybody has a shot.
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And thirdly, to unite the country.
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And I think we can do it.
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I really genuinely do.
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But then again, as I often refer to, I m a cockeyed optimist, but I really believe it.
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Mr. President, thank you so much for the honor.
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I m so grateful.
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I have two tiny requests for you.
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I d love for you, if you don t mind, to walk me through what s here, because I saw these beautiful pictures when I walked in, and I thought they looked really special, and I d love for you to share them.
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My dad was a real gentleman and a well-read man, never got a chance to go to college.
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And he d always say, Joey, never explain, never complain.
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And so we were having my fourth reelection effort as a senator in the late 90s.
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And my dad was over at our house to be there with me.
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And I was standing on this back porch overlooking this pond.
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I built a smaller home.
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when the home we had, everybody moved out, but it sits on a pond, a 10-acre pond.
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And I was saying, my deceased wife, she lived in Lake Skaneateles, and the Finger Lake s beautiful.
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I said, you know, I wish Neely could have seen this.
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And my dad thought I was, I didn t feel sorry for myself.
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So he came, he said, I ll be back.
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And he took off and he went up to the local Hallmark store and came back with this cartoon.
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This is his philosophy of life.
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It s Hagar the Horrible, lightning strikes, his boat s going down.
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He s looking up to God in heaven and say, why me?
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The next frame, a voice from heaven comes by, why not?
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My dad would always say, what makes you so special?
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You don t have these problems.
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I ll put it down here.
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The other ones, there s a bunch there, but one of my favorite ones is of that one, my son, Bo.
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This is when he came home from being in Iraq for a year with his unit.
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And this is his son, little Hunter.
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got on his shoulders and wouldn t get off his shoulders, just would not, I mean, for hours, was on his shoulders.
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The others are my mom and dad, that s my daughter, the love of my life, the life of my love.
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Anyway, there s a lot up there.
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I m probably boring the hell out of you.
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Not at all, not at all.
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I thought it was wonderful to see them when I came in, so thank you.
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Well, like I said, my dad really was one of these guys.
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And so was my mother s side of the family.
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That family, my dad would say, is the beginning, the middle, and the end.
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And I believe it is.
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I mean, I know what you re trying to do is all those folks out there that are lonely, all those folks out there that are feeling uneasy, all those folks out there that aren t sure.
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I don t know.
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I just sometimes just reaching out.
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It makes a difference.
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Thank you, Mr. President.
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Thank you.
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Thank you so much.
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You re doing good work for people.
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I really mean it.
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Thank you.
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Thank you.
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That means the world coming from you and I look forward to many more conversations.
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Thank you.
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Thank you.
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This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.
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The joy they brought to the nation.
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You re free completely.
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No one is there to destroy you.
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The danger they endured.
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They said my head should be cut off.
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I m John Legend.
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Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.