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SPEAKER_00
Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert.
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SPEAKER_00
I m Dan Rather.
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SPEAKER_00
I m joined by Monica Paust.
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SPEAKER_01
Hi.
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SPEAKER_00
That s your French name.
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SPEAKER_01
Ooh, I want to be French.
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SPEAKER_00
And people don t know if they should call you Poused or Poused.
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SPEAKER_00
Monica Poused?
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SPEAKER_00
Is it Monica Poused or Monica Poused?
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SPEAKER_01
I, um, and I ll be very French about it and I ll be very snobby.
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SPEAKER_00
You won t answer, right?
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SPEAKER_00
You ll just go like, oh, we like it though.
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SPEAKER_00
We love the French.
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SPEAKER_00
I love the French.
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SPEAKER_00
They hate our guts.
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SPEAKER_01
I know.
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SPEAKER_00
That s why we love them.
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SPEAKER_00
So charming that they hate us.
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SPEAKER_00
Today we have a megastar on, Camila Cabello.
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SPEAKER_00
This was a party, so delightful.
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SPEAKER_00
Camila loves Armchair Expert.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, so flattering.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, it makes it so much more fun interviewing people who know all the background, inside jokes and everything.
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SPEAKER_01
Yes.
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SPEAKER_00
Camila is a Grammy nominated singer and songwriter.
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SPEAKER_00
Her albums include Camila, Romance, Familia, and her new album CXOXO is out June 28th, but people will already be partying to I love it.
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SPEAKER_00
I love it.
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SPEAKER_00
I love it.
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SPEAKER_00
I love it.
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SPEAKER_00
I love it.
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SPEAKER_00
I love it.
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SPEAKER_00
And people might have heard from fact check.
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SPEAKER_01
Yes, we did an Easter egg.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, my daughters have, for whatever reason, forbade me to listen to that song.
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SPEAKER_00
The cutoff, apparently, in their eyes is somewhere before 49.
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SPEAKER_00
What would I say that?
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SPEAKER_00
North of?
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SPEAKER_00
South of?
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SPEAKER_01
I think south of.
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SPEAKER_00
I think you re going south, right?
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SPEAKER_00
You re going down.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh, this is like the downhill, uphill thing.
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SPEAKER_00
So I m going to say they ve decided you have to be north of 49.
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SPEAKER_00
I don t know what that actual cutoff is, but for them, I was too old to love.
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SPEAKER_00
I love it.
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SPEAKER_00
I love it.
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SPEAKER_01
Do you think maybe they like had a makeout to the song?
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SPEAKER_01
And so the fact that you re singing it is too much.
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SPEAKER_00
Grossing them out.
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SPEAKER_00
I don t think so, but that could happen in a few years.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s coming.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, gross.
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SPEAKER_00
This is my like makeout song with my,
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SPEAKER_01
My dad s singing it.
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SPEAKER_00
Ew.
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SPEAKER_00
And now that I m realizing my boyfriend looks like my dad.
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SPEAKER_00
Gross, why do we do this?
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SPEAKER_00
Please enjoy our new friend Camila Cabello.
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SPEAKER_00
Please excuse my four-minute tardiness.
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SPEAKER_02
Oh my God, Liz, don t worry.
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Hi!
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SPEAKER_00
Hi there, welcome.
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SPEAKER_02
It s so nice to meet you guys.
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SPEAKER_02
I am such a huge fan.
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SPEAKER_00
No way.
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SPEAKER_00
So nice.
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SPEAKER_02
Can I tell you?
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SPEAKER_00
Not possible.
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SPEAKER_02
My mom was like, are you excited?
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SPEAKER_02
I tell Liz all the time.
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SPEAKER_01
Yes, I can believe you because Liz, they re friends.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, you guys are?
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SPEAKER_00
Yes.
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SPEAKER_01
Yes.
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SPEAKER_00
But you didn t bring your mom to this.
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SPEAKER_00
You brought her to call her daddy.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh, OK.
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SPEAKER_01
Well, I m sure that s our fault.
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SPEAKER_01
I m sure we said no one should.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_02
You guys were like, mom.
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SPEAKER_01
Moms can make vulnerable conversations difficult.
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SPEAKER_02
To be honest, and I m not just saying this, not my mom.
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SPEAKER_01
My mom is very cool.
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SPEAKER_00
I have the same one.
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SPEAKER_01
That s nice.
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SPEAKER_01
I would not want my mom in here.
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SPEAKER_02
I wouldn t want my dad to hear most things I talk about.
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SPEAKER_02
But my mom is okay.
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SPEAKER_00
Still sweatin  this one.
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SPEAKER_01
Right, but you can t see it.
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SPEAKER_01
Maybe he ll tell us something about us we don t even know about ourselves.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, I can t wait.
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SPEAKER_02
Oh yeah, I mean, I don t know.
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SPEAKER_02
I only know from what I ve heard on the episodes.
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SPEAKER_00
What do you hold?
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SPEAKER_00
Because you were holding something in the other interview I just watched of you.
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SPEAKER_00
Really?
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SPEAKER_00
And I thought it was a vape, but it seems to be a lip moisturizer.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it s just some Aquaphor.
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SPEAKER_02
I think I just like holding things.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_02
If you saw my Call Her Daddy one, that was my first interview that I ve done in so long.
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SPEAKER_02
I was so fucking nervous.
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SPEAKER_02
Nervous you are yeah for this one.
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SPEAKER_02
I m so excited because I know the best friend s name Right I know all about it first of all you re so stunningness kind of overwhelming.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh my god Yeah, why didn t expect you to be so like jacked wait can we stop and pause we have to stop and pause okay?
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SPEAKER_01
Because Dax says that no women notice that
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SPEAKER_01
And you just proved me 100% correct, and if you ever say it again... No, I m sure women notice that, but I m saying it like, you know how bros will be like, bro, you re so jacked.
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SPEAKER_02
I m saying it in like, in a bro way.
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SPEAKER_00
Also, don t you think there s a safety in the fact that I m 60 years older than you?
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100%.
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SPEAKER_01
I m literally saying that to you as objectively, like I m growing up.
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SPEAKER_01
But that s what I m saying.
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SPEAKER_01
And not even in a sexual way or a romantic way.
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SPEAKER_01
He just says women don t notice it, and they obviously do.
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SPEAKER_01
And I say they do, and he s just never wanting to say it.
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SPEAKER_02
I think also because I listen to the podcast so much, you know how you put a face or a physicality to a voice?
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SPEAKER_02
And then when I met you guys, I was like, whoa, this is like the real thing.
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SPEAKER_01
You know what I mean?
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, 3D.
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SPEAKER_01
Totally.
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SPEAKER_01
Because features get really blurry on pictures.
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SPEAKER_00
Well, I don t think, I don t feel very photogenic.
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SPEAKER_01
I used to be, when I was one.
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SPEAKER_00
When you were a baby.
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SPEAKER_00
Most photogenic baby of all time.
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SPEAKER_02
I was super cute.
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SPEAKER_00
How cute is that baby?
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SPEAKER_02
Really so cute.
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SPEAKER_02
And I felt like such a creep because I recognized that it was baby you instantly.
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SPEAKER_02
I was like, is that baby Monica?
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SPEAKER_02
I feel like I m like literally president of the fan club.
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SPEAKER_02
I m not, actually, you know what, I m not going to say it because it s going to sound like I m fishing.
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SPEAKER_02
I was going to say, I actually don t feel like I m that photogenic either.
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SPEAKER_02
Oh, okay.
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SPEAKER_00
And you re afraid people are going to be like, get over yourself.
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SPEAKER_00
You re fucking beautiful.
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SPEAKER_00
Right.
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SPEAKER_00
All things are true.
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SPEAKER_02
I know one side of my face looks fucking crazy on pictures.
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SPEAKER_02
There s one side of my face where I literally look like a different person and one side of my face where I m like, wow, I look like a supermodel.
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SPEAKER_00
Same, same.
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SPEAKER_00
So I m curious.
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SPEAKER_00
Uh-oh, which one?
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SPEAKER_02
Oh, that s the right one.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, no, thank you.
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SPEAKER_00
Okay, so Kristen and I kind of remain in heaven because she has that side and I have that side and when we stand next to each other, it s always the correct side.
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SPEAKER_00
Perfect you and I could be bros.
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SPEAKER_00
I would always have to stand on your right Like if we were looking out that way, I would always be on your right You d be on my left and we d be golden.
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SPEAKER_02
So wait, so you think like stand up so we have
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SPEAKER_02
How cute.
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SPEAKER_02
But the hard part is when it was like the other way and we d have to do like the prom picture.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_02
Because we had the same good side, which happens and you get creative or you just embrace the bad side and you re like, I promise you I m cuter than this.
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SPEAKER_02
This is me.
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SPEAKER_00
OK, now super self-indulgent, but I feel like it ll be informative.
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SPEAKER_00
When did you start listening?
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SPEAKER_00
And who turned you on to him?
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SPEAKER_00
Because I want to say you were dating Sean when we interviewed him.
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SPEAKER_02
Yes, I was, yes.
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SPEAKER_02
Because I remember we were both such huge fans of the show, and he was so nervous to be on the show.
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SPEAKER_02
And I was like, I don t feel like I was even ready to be on the show until this point in my life.
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SPEAKER_02
Like I would just have been like, just too excited.
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SPEAKER_02
But I think I ve been a pretty long time.
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SPEAKER_00
Was there a guest that got you to check it out?
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SPEAKER_02
For some reason, the David Sedaris episodes are really, because you guys have like four with him.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, he s a return guest.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah, David Sedaris returns.
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SPEAKER_02
But I can t remember, I listen to a lot of the actors that are on the show and David Sedaris.
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SPEAKER_00
Okay, now why were you nervous to be on Call Her Daddy?
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SPEAKER_00
Just because it had been a long time since you were interviewed?
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it had been a long time and I was like, fuck, anything that I haven t talked about, it s all gonna come up in this one interview.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Did anything naughty come up that you were like, uh?
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, but I feel like I was okay.
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SPEAKER_02
Like, I knew the Sean stuff was gonna come out.
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SPEAKER_02
I knew the group stuff was gonna... I love that I m just bullet-pointing.
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SPEAKER_02
This means I ve really overcome my fear.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that s great.
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SPEAKER_02
Bullet-pointing all the things that I was trying to dodge for, like, two years.
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SPEAKER_00
Cheat sheet for me.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, exactly.
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SPEAKER_02
I just had forgotten how to be public for a bit.
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SPEAKER_02
What were you doing?
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SPEAKER_02
I was writing and I was working, but I had just stopped going out.
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SPEAKER_02
I had just stopped being a public-facing personality.
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SPEAKER_00
And it was a conscious decision, right?
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it was a conscious decision.
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SPEAKER_02
I think I just needed to do it for my mental health.
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SPEAKER_02
Now, when I m talking about it with my therapist and stuff, it s really healthy to be who you are out loud.
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SPEAKER_02
And who cares?
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SPEAKER_02
And who fucking cares?
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SPEAKER_00
Fuck you guys.
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SPEAKER_00
I m kidding.
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SPEAKER_00
Suck a dick, motherfuckers.
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SPEAKER_00
I m here.
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SPEAKER_00
The thing that I, and we just had a guest on that I was bonding with over, Tiffany Haddish.
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SPEAKER_00
It ll be out by then.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
I think the thing she and I both had, the feels we maybe have a touch of is, it s a powered thing for me.
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SPEAKER_00
It s a control thing.
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SPEAKER_00
Like, I m not gonna let you shame me, so I m gonna be right out in front.
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SPEAKER_00
I m just gonna go like, yeah, here it is.
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SPEAKER_00
And I m not ashamed of it.
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SPEAKER_02
That is the power move.
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SPEAKER_00
I m not giving you the power to whisper and, oh, she doesn t want to, you know.
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SPEAKER_00
It feels way more empowering.
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SPEAKER_01
This is extremely timely.
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SPEAKER_01
I probably shouldn t say it, but I m gonna.
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SPEAKER_00
Is it gossipy?
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
Well, no, it s not gossipy.
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SPEAKER_01
I love some hot gossip, for sure.
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SPEAKER_01
So right before I got here, I got some information about a previous guest whose publicist has reached out.
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SPEAKER_01
So there s all these articles about this person that are ridiculous.
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SPEAKER_01
So ridiculous.
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SPEAKER_00
Meaning frivolous?
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SPEAKER_01
It s Maya.
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SPEAKER_00
Rudolph?
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SPEAKER_01
Yes.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh, so it s excerpts from the episode that she did.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t know what they re saying.
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SPEAKER_01
There s something happening, I guess, where they re calling her a Nepo baby, and they re referring to this episode.
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SPEAKER_01
But there s no reference of nepo baby, there s nothing.
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SPEAKER_02
But also, I feel like it s also kind of a neutral phrase.
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SPEAKER_02
Like if you are a nepo baby, why does it matter?
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SPEAKER_02
Then you just are.
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SPEAKER_00
Let s add nepotism cannot get you on the Saturday Night Live for seven years where you score every night.
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SPEAKER_00
What the fuck are we talking about?
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SPEAKER_02
Exactly.
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SPEAKER_00
Nepotism s like the dumb, dumb son running the Fortune 500 company that he inherited.
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SPEAKER_02
It s not literally the obvious talent that Maya Rudolph possesses.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so I don t know what they re saying because I haven t looked, but it is so annoying that someone decided to grab onto something.
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SPEAKER_02
You can t control other people s stupidity and their moods and how they fucking want to react to you.
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SPEAKER_02
And don t give them the credit.
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SPEAKER_02
Now I m 27 and I think I m finally really letting go of what people think of
1
SPEAKER_02
It s just none of my business.
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SPEAKER_02
I can only control being me.
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SPEAKER_02
And like you said, if you re upfront about all of your shit, then it s like, well, you can t say it to me first.
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SPEAKER_02
It s so hard to get there when you have started really young in the industry.
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SPEAKER_02
I still am like, how much should a person be triggered by when I see something that hurts my feelings on the internet?
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SPEAKER_02
I don t know if the amount that I get triggered is normal.
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SPEAKER_02
So I just delete the shit.
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SPEAKER_02
I delete the app.
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SPEAKER_02
I m just like, I can t.
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SPEAKER_00
It is hard to know, right?
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SPEAKER_00
I m writing about my childhood right now.
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SPEAKER_02
Are you writing a memoir, a book?
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SPEAKER_00
I am.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
That s so exciting.
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SPEAKER_00
And I m describing why I had to read out loud and I was stuttering and fucking chorting and making all these weird noises trying to sound out shit.
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SPEAKER_00
And I could see my face.
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SPEAKER_00
The freckles, there s too many and it just looked like a cloud of fart gas.
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SPEAKER_00
It was like yellow freckle gas on my face.
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SPEAKER_02
And my teeth were so jacked.
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SPEAKER_02
You did like a reading.
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SPEAKER_00
I m talking about the experience of being in class with dyslexia, and they call on you to read, and you re trying to read a thing, and you re fucking the whole thing up.
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SPEAKER_00
But there s not only that, I can see my face fucking it all up, and then I m describing my freckles, and my crooked teeth, and my huge overbite.
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SPEAKER_00
But I m acknowledging, I don t know how that was relative to everyone else s experience.
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SPEAKER_00
I feel like I trend really self-conscious, above normal self-consciousness.
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SPEAKER_02
Even before you were in the public eye?
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SPEAKER_00
Yes, as a kid, I felt this searing self-consciousness.
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SPEAKER_02
Like the spotlight effect.
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SPEAKER_00
Yes, it fucked me up.
1
SPEAKER_00
But then I m also probably like, no, it s probably standard.
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SPEAKER_02
Everyone, yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
We all probably are like panicked half the time.
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SPEAKER_02
I think especially if you re sensitive.
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SPEAKER_02
I find that my favorite people, a lot of the times, for some reason, have some anxiety because it makes them really empathetic and sensitive.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
And people that are just like, I don t care and laisse about everything are more likely to be dicks sometimes.
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SPEAKER_00
A loop.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Monica and I had this little, it wasn t a riff, but she was using an emoji just for a few weeks.
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SPEAKER_00
I think she was trying it out.
1
SPEAKER_00
And it was the emoji with the girl throwing her hands up.
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SPEAKER_02
Oh yeah, I love her.
1
SPEAKER_02
What does she conjure?
1
SPEAKER_02
She s wearing a purple shirt, she s like, whatever.
1
SPEAKER_00
After like 20 of these, I told her, I don t like it, it feels aloof, like you re over everything.
1
SPEAKER_01
It hurt his feelings.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that that emoji s like, I don t give a fuck.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, I don t really want to interact with someone that s gonna.
1
SPEAKER_01
You want like a panicked emoji?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s kind of weird.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s kind of like you want me to have all, I m kidding.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I just don t want you to be over everything.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s how sensitive I am, that an emoji.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m super sensitive.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Sometimes it s funny, though, because it depends on what you re... I wasn t saying it... You were getting pretty rapid fire with it.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was getting, oh, fast and loose.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, I had to test out all the iterations of it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like, are we meeting at 12?
1
SPEAKER_01
No, I don t fucking know.
1
SPEAKER_00
We ll see.
1
SPEAKER_00
Figure it out.
1
SPEAKER_00
Maybe.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay, I was gonna ask this question at the very end, but you just said it.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I m curious, if you had to choose, you are all powerful, would you have started your career when you did?
1
SPEAKER_00
Or would you start the full ride you took at this age?
1
SPEAKER_00
You re 27 and one year from now is when I started my journey.
1
SPEAKER_02
You were a full person.
1
SPEAKER_00
One argument I can make is like, you re already post, you re like seem to be emotionally and spiritually where I was at, at maybe 39, which is kind of cool.
1
SPEAKER_00
But then I don t know, what are your thoughts?
1
SPEAKER_02
I don t think I would have changed when I started because so many parts of my personality today are because of the tools and the skills and some adaptive and some maladaptive.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I like that word, maladaptive.
1
SPEAKER_02
Mechanisms that I had to develop to survive and thrive.
1
SPEAKER_02
For example, I m really into like Buddhism.
1
SPEAKER_02
That would have never happened because I needed those tools, being on stage and being calm and being able to pull through.
1
SPEAKER_02
But also it just carries over to other life stuff where I feel like I m wiser than I would have been.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I don t know how you enter into this huge arousal cycle at like 15, where it s like heightened, heightened, heightened dopamine.
1
SPEAKER_02
My nervous system is definitely like, oh my God, poor baby.
1
SPEAKER_00
In my much more minimal experiences than you ve had, it is a very heightened experience.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then you get into this, I think, dopamine deficit cycle.
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SPEAKER_00
When those highs are gone and normal life resumes, it could feel very low.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, to me, it would be so obvious.
1
SPEAKER_00
You discovered Buddhism because I got to regulate in some way.
1
SPEAKER_02
Right.
1
SPEAKER_02
Or the amount of self-growth podcasts like Armchair Expert that I listen to.
1
SPEAKER_02
But I listen to so many.
1
SPEAKER_02
That s a maladaptive one.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that s the maladaptive one.
1
SPEAKER_02
There s some adaptive ones.
1
SPEAKER_02
But I listened to a lot of stuff where maybe other people my age weren t listening to that.
1
SPEAKER_02
You grew up fast.
1
SPEAKER_02
I grew up fast.
1
SPEAKER_02
But then there s been times, for example, COVID, I learned how to drive and I learned how to cook and I was just living the most normal life.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t want anything salacious to come out of this, but also you were like- I fucking do.
1
SPEAKER_02
I m just kidding.
1
SPEAKER_00
I didn t look like this town empire.
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SPEAKER_02
I m a Nepo baby.
1
SPEAKER_02
Exactly.
1
SPEAKER_02
You heard it here first.
1
SPEAKER_00
Nepo baby from Cuba.
1
SPEAKER_02
I cried about it.
1
SPEAKER_02
I don t even know if there s such a thing.
1
SPEAKER_00
You were having a domestic experience too, during COVID.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_02
I became a way more well-rounded adult.
1
SPEAKER_02
I was like, what do I like to do?
1
SPEAKER_02
I learned how to fucking ride a bike.
1
SPEAKER_02
I had never ridden a bike before.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh my goodness.
1
SPEAKER_02
It was literally, what s that movie that Emma Stone is in?
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh yes, yes, Poor Things.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I was like, Poor Things.
1
SPEAKER_00
Or Billy Madison, where it s like, what if you went back to 5th grade?
1
SPEAKER_00
Like you finally had time to resume 9th grade.
1
SPEAKER_02
I left in the beginning of 10th grade, so I never had the high school.
1
SPEAKER_02
My sisters were picking out prom dresses for her now.
1
SPEAKER_00
Wait, Sophia s that young?
1
SPEAKER_02
My sister s 17.
1
SPEAKER_02
You know my sister s name?
1
SPEAKER_02
Did I just tell you?
1
SPEAKER_00
No, I know it.
1
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_02
Such fucking legends.
1
SPEAKER_02
I can t even take it.
1
SPEAKER_00
I didn t realize there was a 10 year age gap.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I know.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s crazy.
1
SPEAKER_00
She was born here obviously then.
1
SPEAKER_02
She was born here and she is living all the reckless teenagehood that I didn t and that I still feel like.
1
SPEAKER_02
Do I feel jealous?
1
SPEAKER_02
There were times where I feel like I had bad COVID.
1
SPEAKER_02
I feel like I was just going through a rough time.
1
SPEAKER_02
My OCD was so bad and I felt like my sister was having the best time.
1
SPEAKER_02
And I was like, the fact that I m jealous of like 15 year old right now is crazy.
1
SPEAKER_02
But I did miss, I m always looking for that carefreeness and that return to childhood in a way.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, let s start at the beginning.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
Cause it s fun and unique.
1
SPEAKER_00
Let s start with your dad because I want to know what s happening where a man from Mexico city decides to emigrate to Cuba.
1
SPEAKER_02
My mom emigrated to Mexico.
1
SPEAKER_00
That makes sense.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, when she was in her maybe early 20s.
1
SPEAKER_02
She was kind of let down by the revolution.
1
SPEAKER_02
My grandparents were a part of it.
1
SPEAKER_02
And then there started to be the power outages and the lack of food.
1
SPEAKER_02
And that s when she realized, oh, this is not the promise that they sold us.
1
SPEAKER_02
And so her and her cousin went to Mexico.
1
SPEAKER_00
Can I add one fun thing right there?
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
I went to Cuba right when you were allowed to.
1
SPEAKER_00
Kristen was shooting there and I took the babies there.
1
SPEAKER_00
And we had this amazing, I guess maybe like a fixer.
1
SPEAKER_00
She was like 27 year old girl, really fucking brilliant.
1
SPEAKER_00
Grew up there, spent her whole life there.
1
SPEAKER_00
And she was explaining after the revolution, they assigned people housing.
1
SPEAKER_00
That was the housing.
1
SPEAKER_00
They weren t building more housing.
1
SPEAKER_00
So then you just inherited your housing.
1
SPEAKER_00
So it was like, if your great grandparents got a shitty apartment, that s it for the bloodline.
1
SPEAKER_00
And the people that got the really nice house, tough shit, that s what they got.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s so fascinating trying to comprehend a world where it s like, no, this is the family house and that s the only house that s ever going to be.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s curious.
1
SPEAKER_02
No matter how hard you work or how smart you are or how high up you get, there is a ceiling.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s it.
1
SPEAKER_02
That s the house.
1
SPEAKER_02
That s the car.
1
SPEAKER_02
Everybody gets, I can t remember what it was, but it s maybe like four eggs per month or something like that.
1
SPEAKER_02
There s rations.
1
SPEAKER_02
And so in the beginning, people started off being like, wow, there s healthcare for everybody and nobody gets left behind.
1
SPEAKER_00
No homeless people.
1
SPEAKER_02
Exactly.
1
SPEAKER_02
So my mom and her cousin go to Mexico.
1
SPEAKER_00
Really quick, was it easy to leave and go to Mexico?
1
SPEAKER_00
Because you weren t allowed to leave and go to the U.S., right?
1
SPEAKER_02
You can leave.
1
SPEAKER_02
I think it would have been hard to come back or something like that.
1
SPEAKER_02
I get more and more information as I get older.
1
SPEAKER_02
Immigrant parents are such liars.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s crazy.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, they do lie a lot.
1
SPEAKER_02
They lie so much, right?
1
SPEAKER_02
They re like, wow, I didn t know you were fucking married before my death.
1
SPEAKER_02
Wow, secrets.
1
SPEAKER_00
Things were different then.
1
SPEAKER_00
I know, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
So many secrets.
1
SPEAKER_02
So they go to Mexico.
1
SPEAKER_02
I think my mom was working as... I don t know if she was an architect or a bottle girl.
1
SPEAKER_02
She was both during her time.
1
SPEAKER_02
What s that?
1
SPEAKER_00
But she was trained as an architect in Cuba, right?
1
SPEAKER_02
She was trained as an architect in Cuba.
1
SPEAKER_02
Like, you just bring the bottles to the club.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh!
1
SPEAKER_00
Bottle service.
1
SPEAKER_02
My mom was and is hot.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t doubt it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Are she and I the same age?
1
SPEAKER_00
How old are you?
1
49.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, she s older than you.
1
SPEAKER_01
She s 54.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m in.
1
SPEAKER_01
You re stacking up a lot of people.
1
SPEAKER_01
You already have somebody else s mom too.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m an addict, you know that.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
I forget who it was.
1
SPEAKER_00
I have the disease of Mark.
1
SPEAKER_01
Camila Mendez.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes, whose mom is an airline stewardess.
1
SPEAKER_00
Right.
1
SPEAKER_00
And she s not too.
1
SPEAKER_00
Sorry.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_00
I said the wrong word.
1
SPEAKER_00
People skewer me.
1
SPEAKER_01
Camila Mendez.
1
SPEAKER_00
No, I said airline stewardess.
1
SPEAKER_00
You can t say that.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, flight attendant.
1
SPEAKER_00
Flight attendant.
1
SPEAKER_00
Apologies.
1
SPEAKER_02
I didn t know that.
1
SPEAKER_02
But anyway, she meets my dad.
1
SPEAKER_02
She s a bottle girl at the club.
1
SPEAKER_02
My dad is a bartender.
1
SPEAKER_00
So he s a stud because the bartender s always a stud.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, my dad is a stud.
1
SPEAKER_00
I have to show you a picture of my dad.
1
SPEAKER_00
Date him too.
1
SPEAKER_00
I ll date him too.
1
SPEAKER_02
I ll date him too.
1
SPEAKER_02
More, more, more.
1
SPEAKER_02
So they start dating after maybe seven months of being friends.
1
SPEAKER_02
And my mom in Mexico, she stayed with a family friend from Cuba, but I m really proud that I feel like I come from a family of fucking hustlers.
1
SPEAKER_02
My mom didn t have her period for like eight months because at one point she was living on Diet Coke and chips for like days and days.
1
SPEAKER_02
And I love this story about my parents.
1
SPEAKER_02
My dad, while they were dating, he had this watch and he like sold his watch to get her like a bunch of groceries.
1
SPEAKER_02
in the fridge.
1
SPEAKER_02
This was actually before they were dating, so he just did this as a friend.
1
SPEAKER_02
Aww, good friend.
1
SPEAKER_00
He s a stud and a good guy.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, good guy, good guy.
1
SPEAKER_02
So he was always taking care of her.
1
SPEAKER_02
And so then she got pregnant with me, I think maybe like in the first year that they were dating.
2
SPEAKER_02
No judgment.
2
SPEAKER_02
I didn t mean that with judgment.
2
SPEAKER_02
Within the first year.
2
SPEAKER_02
And so then my dad traveled from Mexico to Cuba with me.
2
SPEAKER_00
So you were born in Mexico?
2
SPEAKER_02
No, I was born in Cuba.
2
SPEAKER_00
Sorry.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you were born in Cuba.
2
SPEAKER_02
I skipped some chapters.
2
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, they would go from Cuba to Mexico.
2
SPEAKER_02
I went to school in Mexico too.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then mom takes you, when you re six, to Miami, Florida, under the false pretense that you re going to Disney World.
2
SPEAKER_02
Exactly.
2
SPEAKER_02
What?
2
SPEAKER_02
More lies.
2
SPEAKER_00
How long did it take before you actually went to Disney World?
2
SPEAKER_00
A year.
2
SPEAKER_00
A year.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s not terrible.
2
SPEAKER_00
Although when you re six, that s 20% of your life.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I m like, when is it?
2
SPEAKER_01
Wait, so she takes you there, what happened?
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_00
Because the mom s a hustler, so the mom s in Cuba, she s like, fuck this, let s go check out Mexico City.
2
SPEAKER_00
Mm-mm, still not good enough for me, let s go to Miami.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, she was just like, this ain t it.
2
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, I think she was just like, I want to go to the fucking United States.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yes, of course, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
The land of hustlers.
2
SPEAKER_00
The land of hustlers.
2
SPEAKER_00
Let s get it done.
2
SPEAKER_02
Exactly.
2
SPEAKER_00
And you go and you end up staying with grandfather s colleague friend and you live with her who becomes godmother.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yes, wow, my goodness.
2
SPEAKER_01
My lord.
2
SPEAKER_02
He done did a deep dive on the fam.
2
SPEAKER_02
So we stayed there for a month in a room in her house, and my dad had not yet... 18 months for him.
2
SPEAKER_00
He s got to wait a year and a half.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, because of a visa situation?
2
SPEAKER_02
Bitch, I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_02
I really... There s so much I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s her business.
2
SPEAKER_02
You ll find out in 15 years.
2
SPEAKER_02
Exactly, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
She ll tell me at some point.
2
SPEAKER_02
Not even.
2
SPEAKER_02
It ll just come out through somebody else asking her a question.
2
SPEAKER_02
Then she started working at Marshall s and started going night school, taking English classes, and we got our own apartment.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then a year later, I had this little Disney calendar where I would cross the Xs until when my dad would come.
2
SPEAKER_02
And my dad told me this.
2
SPEAKER_02
He was like, when I first got there, you wouldn t talk.
2
SPEAKER_02
Like, you were so shy.
2
SPEAKER_02
I feel like this is such a kid thing to happen.
2
SPEAKER_02
You re like, I m so excited to see my dad.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m so excited to see my dad.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then my dad came and I didn t know how to talk to him because it had been so long.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Because you re right.
2
SPEAKER_02
At that age, one year is one seventh of your life.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and it was a year and a half, if my facts are right.
2
SPEAKER_00
So we re talking like a fifth year life.
2
SPEAKER_00
I wonder if something more happened.
2
SPEAKER_00
Did you happen to listen to the Gabor Mate episode?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yes, I probably did.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I fucking love Gabor Mate.
2
SPEAKER_02
See, like if I hadn t started in this industry at 15, would not know Gabor Mate.
2
SPEAKER_00
No way.
2
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
2
SPEAKER_00
There s no way.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was 48 when I learned of Gabor.
2
SPEAKER_00
I needed him.
2
SPEAKER_02
I fucking needed him.
2
SPEAKER_00
But he tells the story of having been separated to evade Nazi capture, then reunited with his mom.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then even as like a one and a half year old child, was icing out mom as this protective thing of, I m not going to trust you again because you re going to go.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m not going to go through that again.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I do wonder even if it was like excitement, excitement, excitement, he s here.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, can I trust myself to reattach?
2
SPEAKER_02
Exactly.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Or is he going to bounce?
2
SPEAKER_02
And I feel like there s probably so many ways in which immigrant kids carry that stuff in our bodies when we re older, that instability.
2
SPEAKER_03
It gets passed down.
2
SPEAKER_03
I just had therapy about this because I was home.
2
SPEAKER_03
I mean, home.
2
SPEAKER_03
I was with my parents recently.
2
SPEAKER_03
And the last day of the trip, I was so anxious.
2
SPEAKER_03
I was like, what s going on?
2
SPEAKER_03
Why am I so anxious?
2
SPEAKER_03
And I get anxious around them a lot, but I was talking to my therapist and I was like, I guess I feel like how are they surviving?
2
SPEAKER_03
Like, are they okay?
2
SPEAKER_03
They re in this world of white people.
2
SPEAKER_03
I mean, it s just deep.
2
SPEAKER_03
I m not thinking that consciously that they re in this world of white people.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s just a feeling.
2
SPEAKER_03
It s just a feeling.
2
SPEAKER_03
And my dad was like, well, what do we do about the ballet?
2
SPEAKER_03
Where do we park?
2
SPEAKER_03
And I was like, it s
2
SPEAKER_03
What?
2
SPEAKER_03
It s like, it s fine.
2
SPEAKER_03
It s like overly triggered.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, so it s like, what do you mean?
2
SPEAKER_03
What?
2
SPEAKER_03
It s fine.
2
SPEAKER_03
Why is this so stressful?
2
SPEAKER_03
And then I was realizing, well, I need to say that to myself.
2
SPEAKER_03
Why is this so stressful for me?
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
And it s because every time they don t know what s going on, I feel like they re going to die.
2
SPEAKER_03
Like, how can they survive in this country?
2
SPEAKER_00
Like they re exposing themselves as being other when they don t understand these
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, and it has nothing to do with that, but I take everything like that.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I bet that you carry so much of that as well, I assume.
2
SPEAKER_00
Now, and I m not trying to make you cry, but I think when you re 27, I m assuming you don t have a terribly clear memory of being separated for that year and a half, but it s part of your story and it s like, oh yeah, it s just a piece of your story.
2
SPEAKER_00
But I can tell you as someone who has an eight year old and an 11 year old, if they hadn t seen me at six for a year and a half, it would have a big effect on them.
2
SPEAKER_00
Especially if you re a daddy s girl.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m such a daddy s girl.
2
SPEAKER_00
Then yeah, it had to be a very disruptive bit of time.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s crazy because I think my brain is like, anything that feels emotionally traumatic, I just black it out.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t remember some chunks of my life.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
To be honest.
2
SPEAKER_03
We just had a memory person on and he was talking about that.
2
SPEAKER_02
Really?
2
SPEAKER_03
Does that happen?
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
And there s some conscious choosing of what you keep at the forefront.
2
SPEAKER_03
My brain is so excellent at that.
2
SPEAKER_00
Similarly, we learned, which is so fascinating, is your memories are altered by what perspective you re currently in when you look back on the memories.
2
SPEAKER_00
So if you re sad, you re going to kind of more dial into those.
2
SPEAKER_00
If you re happy, you ll remember more happy.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s as subjective as the conscious experiences, of course.
2
SPEAKER_00
So, yeah, it s hard to really know what the actual truth is.
2
SPEAKER_02
Which is so relieving, actually.
2
SPEAKER_02
I definitely had the habit of going back and trying to just figure out, not from childhood, but adolescence, what was right and what was wrong.
2
SPEAKER_02
And there s something so freeing about being like, I don t fucking know.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m never going to be able to objectively assess it all.
2
SPEAKER_02
It always brings you back to, there s no choice but to just fucking be present.
2
SPEAKER_00
When do your memories start?
2
SPEAKER_00
Mine start in second grade, if I m being honest.
2
SPEAKER_00
I have little glimpses, but from probably second grade on, I have a pretty good picture.
2
SPEAKER_02
I have some sensory little sparks of things.
2
SPEAKER_02
Our house in Cuba or certain smells will be like, whoa, I really remember this.
2
SPEAKER_02
But I feel like the first visual memory is first grade when it was like the first time I liked a boy and I remember seeing him.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I remember exactly what this little boy s face looks like.
2
SPEAKER_00
But again, look at, I mean, it s so fucking basic too.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s like, you miss dad.
2
SPEAKER_00
You miss the male attention or the maleness.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then in first grade already, you re like, ah, boy energy.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_02
I always, in any guy that I am pursuing, if they have any dad-like qualities, somebody like my dad, I m in love with them.
2
SPEAKER_02
Like I m always looking for somebody like my dad, but I also think he s the best person.
2
SPEAKER_02
I remember, I think you had Gwyneth on and she always talks about how she was like in love with her dad.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m just like, I want a man exactly like my dad.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Maybe not exactly, but... Sure, the 2.0 version of dad.
2
SPEAKER_00
The 2024 version.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know what s funny?
2
SPEAKER_00
I know exactly what you re talking about and I know the exact sentence because I happened to be behind her on an airplane randomly coming home from Nashville on Easter and she was directly in front of me and I leaned over and I was chatting with her and I said, when you said everyone has a father, but if you re lucky you get a daddy...
2
SPEAKER_03
I remember that.
2
SPEAKER_03
But it wasn t here she said that, I have to be, it wasn t here.
2
SPEAKER_00
Right, she said it on Stern and then we talked about it on here.
2
SPEAKER_00
But I remember you talked about it on here.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and as I m saying daddy, I m fucking crying and I m sitting next to my nine-year-old while I m saying it, but yes, I couldn t agree more.
2
SPEAKER_00
Same, love everyone that was like my mom.
2
SPEAKER_00
Anyone that was like my mom, I dated for a very long time.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I ve definitely dated guys like that, for sure.
2
SPEAKER_00
OK, so you re a boy crazy from first grade.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then when do you start singing?
2
SPEAKER_00
When do you know that you have a good voice?
2
SPEAKER_00
What pocket of Miami are you in?
2
SPEAKER_00
Are you in a very Latin heavy area?
2
SPEAKER_00
Are you feeling that Miami vibe?
2
SPEAKER_02
We moved around, but we moved into this apartment complex.
2
SPEAKER_02
And the first friend that I ever made in the United States was because we had this boom box and I would bring CDs and we would just listen to music.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then we pretended we were in a girl group.
2
SPEAKER_02
Like my first friends that I made were always because of singing and music.
2
SPEAKER_02
So anytime somebody asked me, when did you start singing?
2
SPEAKER_02
I can t pinpoint.
2
SPEAKER_02
Music was my number one joy.
2
SPEAKER_00
When is the moment that either your parent or someone you admire says, Oh, you re actually good at it.
2
SPEAKER_00
When you go from like, I sing because I like it and I m happy to wait, I actually have this skill.
2
SPEAKER_02
I think my friends, when I was in elementary school, I remember High School Musical had come out and I would bring my High School Musical CD and I would play the CD and I would try to hit the high notes and like my friends would be like, wow.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t know if you had this experience, but singing was like its own form of power currency in elementary school.
2
SPEAKER_02
Like, I feel like everybody wanted to be a singer.
2
SPEAKER_02
Everybody wanted to be on the fucking Disney Channel.
2
SPEAKER_00
You guys are also kind of close to the source of the fire.
2
SPEAKER_00
They re doing a lot of that shit in Orlando.
2
SPEAKER_02
Delicious.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m sorry.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s so good.
2
SPEAKER_00
I know, we always feel perverted telling you the name of it, but that is a cream top.
2
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, this is a cream fucking top.
2
SPEAKER_02
They need to change it.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if it s working.
2
SPEAKER_00
They can t sew them fast enough.
2
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_00
How do we get from elementary, wow, I can hit the high notes.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, everyone s kind of into this.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, this is cool.
2
SPEAKER_00
I got a superpower to auditioning for X Factor.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Even when I was in ninth grade and when I was in middle school, I just wasn t going out and hanging out with people and partying.
2
SPEAKER_02
My summers were going on YouTube, looking up the instrumentals of songs and singing.
2
SPEAKER_02
I got more and more obsessed.
2
SPEAKER_02
This is what I like to do more than anything.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I was a really big pop culture fan, even when I was little.
2
SPEAKER_02
I had a Justin Bieber phase.
2
SPEAKER_02
I had a One Direction phase.
2
SPEAKER_02
I had a Taylor Swift phase.
2
SPEAKER_02
Some of these phases are ongoing.
2
SPEAKER_01
They re still happening.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was going to say earmark Taylor Swift because it s crazy to have a phase and then open for her.
2
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God.
2
SPEAKER_02
I know.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that was fucking crazy.
2
SPEAKER_02
There have been so many moments that have been like that for me where I m just like, I just can t.
2
SPEAKER_00
Do you have a hard time internalizing them when they re happening?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
And sometimes I feel like I can t.
2
SPEAKER_02
I bet you guys feel like this.
2
SPEAKER_02
Like if your favorite person in the world is sitting right in front of you.
3
SPEAKER_01
on this couch.
3
SPEAKER_01
Camila, for me.
3
SPEAKER_01
Sure, yeah, whatever.
3
SPEAKER_00
Matt Damon, I can be honest.
3
SPEAKER_00
What d you say?
3
SPEAKER_00
I said Matt Damon, I can be honest.
3
SPEAKER_00
Right, if Matt Damon is here, you re not gonna watch like five Matt Damon movies the night before, because you can t.
3
SPEAKER_01
You d explode.
3
SPEAKER_00
I just did Coachella with Lana.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ve been telling people, oh, I haven t been telling people, I told one person.
3
SPEAKER_00
Tell us, tell us.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ve been telling many people.
3
SPEAKER_00
I had to not listen to her music for like four days because I can t be a fan.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
Being a fan is tricky.
3
SPEAKER_01
Problematic for performance.
3
SPEAKER_01
It is.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
I had to do that with the Letterman.
3
SPEAKER_01
I had to do 10 days with my therapist of going like... I love the 10 days with your therapist.
3
SPEAKER_00
That is so real.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like I got to walk in there for this 90 minutes as a peer.
3
SPEAKER_00
But sometimes I try to, and this is the Buddhism thing is right now, I just had a moment where I was like, wow, really fucking take this in.
3
SPEAKER_00
You ve been listening to this podcast and now you know what the inside of this room looks like.
3
SPEAKER_00
Nobody really, like you guys don t take pictures in this room.
3
SPEAKER_01
We do for the social, but you obviously don t follow us on Instagram.
3
SPEAKER_00
I actually do.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ve never seen this room in here though.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s really such a nice vibe.
3
SPEAKER_00
I love it here.
3
SPEAKER_00
I like don t want to leave.
3
SPEAKER_01
You chose to not wear headphones.
3
SPEAKER_01
Explain that to me.
3
SPEAKER_00
I feel like I m a little bit of a sensory overload person.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I could see that.
3
SPEAKER_00
You can see that, right?
3
SPEAKER_00
I have not let go of this chapstick.
3
SPEAKER_01
I know.
3
SPEAKER_01
I kind of want you to vape.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I don t want it for your health.
3
SPEAKER_01
My dad vapes.
3
SPEAKER_00
And my sister vapes.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, of course, because she s 70.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s fun.
3
SPEAKER_00
I know, like if I started hearing music, I would just... Monica s so embarrassed for her dad right now.
3
SPEAKER_01
I love it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Wait, wait, what?
3
SPEAKER_00
I missed this thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was like, oh yeah, because that s fun.
3
SPEAKER_01
And she looked at me like, Dad, stop trying to act young.
3
SPEAKER_01
Then I recognized, oh, I m embarrassing Monica, which can be a very fun thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I started leaning into it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
So you vape?
3
SPEAKER_01
I did.
3
SPEAKER_01
I had a phase.
3
SPEAKER_01
I smoked forever.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was a smoker.
3
SPEAKER_01
I haven t smoked for 19 years.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then in COVID, best friend Aaron Weakley was visiting.
3
SPEAKER_00
Aaron Weakley.
3
SPEAKER_00
Shout out Aaron Weakley.
3
SPEAKER_01
Boom.
3
SPEAKER_01
He was smoking darts, blowing camels up on a vacation.
3
SPEAKER_01
And it was the first time I ever wanted one.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, well, I can t smoke.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then our friend Matt had vaped.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m like, I ll do that for a week.
3
SPEAKER_01
Cut to a year and a half later.
3
SPEAKER_01
I had to quit that.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re still vaping.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, I haven t for a while though.
3
SPEAKER_00
My dad does it because it just really calms him down.
3
SPEAKER_00
Does it really calm you down?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
I can t tell if I have an addictive personality or not.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, I want to get into that.
3
SPEAKER_00
I think I do have an addictive personality, but I think because I started so young and X Factor and whatever, I think I have a very like military discipline.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m very disciplined.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I smoked a cigarette in Paris and I fucking loved it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Sure.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s the perfect place to smoke.
3
SPEAKER_00
It tasted so good with the espresso.
3
SPEAKER_00
And like, because of that, I was like, I can t do this every now and then.
3
SPEAKER_01
Stay tuned for more Firefighter Expert.
3
SPEAKER_01
I keep interrupting you, I really want to apologize.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God, no, please interrupt me.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m very excited.
3
SPEAKER_00
First of all, I m Cuban.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, we do this.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s all interrupting.
3
SPEAKER_00
You spit it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, like just.
3
SPEAKER_01
So my daughters were making fun of me yesterday because I told them I was interviewing you because I knew they would be excited and I was trying to steal your cultural capital to make them like me.
3
SPEAKER_00
As you should, I want this for you.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was pronouncing Camila a little off
3
SPEAKER_01
And then on the same day, this is yesterday, my one daughter said, how do you say that word?
3
SPEAKER_01
Because on the radio, there s a song called Espresso by Sabrina Carpenter.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then my daughter said, pronounce that word.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I said, Espresso.
3
SPEAKER_01
And she said, but do people say Espresso?
3
SPEAKER_01
And I said, yeah, people say Espresso.
3
SPEAKER_01
People like me say Espresso.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, interesting.
3
SPEAKER_01
Even though it s wrong.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so the joke yesterday was they told me I should say, would you like an Espresso Camila?
3
SPEAKER_01
so I could fuck up both things at once.
3
SPEAKER_00
Correct, Espresso Camilla.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes, and you just said you were drinking espresso, and I just thought, that s impossible, you on your own brought up espresso, when they told me I had to save you espresso wrong.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s a coinkidoo.
3
SPEAKER_01
That was a zap to my brain.
3
SPEAKER_00
Whoa.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
Now, so you smoked that one cigarette and then were you inclined to do it again when you got home?
3
SPEAKER_00
Of course, I always do.
3
SPEAKER_00
I miss cigarettes.
3
SPEAKER_00
You do.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like I m a smoker and I never, never have.
3
SPEAKER_01
But here s what I would say that s kind of parallel with the addiction and the OCD is you re spending your summer as a kid in your room listening to YouTube.
3
SPEAKER_00
You fucking busted me.
3
SPEAKER_01
Right.
3
SPEAKER_01
Also, I think where it parallels addiction is like, you did that once, it gave you a feeling.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, no, you re right.
3
SPEAKER_00
My therapist would say we actually don t even call it OCD.
3
SPEAKER_00
We call it obsessionality.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s fun.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Because why?
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t even know.
3
SPEAKER_00
I think something about OCD, just that- Oh, because it has disorder in it?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s triggering for me for some reason.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s just you have an obsessive nature.
3
SPEAKER_00
I have an obsessive nature.
3
SPEAKER_00
Which is a superpower.
3
SPEAKER_00
So do I. It really is.
3
SPEAKER_01
You gotta learn to wield that sword.
3
SPEAKER_01
Hundred.
3
SPEAKER_01
Hunter P. Yeah, you re right.
3
SPEAKER_01
Part of me is like, stop trying to euphemize everything.
3
SPEAKER_00
But at the same time- What does euphemize mean again?
3
SPEAKER_01
It means like, make it sound better than it is.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
She had a strong smell.
3
SPEAKER_01
She smelled like shit.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but- That s a euphemism.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
What?
3
SPEAKER_00
That, you should use a euphemism if someone smells like shit.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, if she s in the room.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
If she s not in the room, you can say she smells like shit.
3
SPEAKER_00
For sure.
3
SPEAKER_00
I guess, I guess.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes, we can be honest amongst ourselves.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, amongst ourselves for sure.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I don t know that we need to euphemize every single thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
And it is weird to call OCD a disorder because it s a personality type and it s super beneficial.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I also think there are some things that don t fit into neatly labeled boxes.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like sometimes it is just you re being obsessive.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s not necessarily obsessive-compulsive disorder.
3
SPEAKER_00
Or pathological.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, because then it s placebo effect and you start giving yourself symptoms that you didn t even have.
3
SPEAKER_00
But when I was younger, I definitely did have fucking textbooks.
3
SPEAKER_01
Did you have tics?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
Hug my parents for 11 seconds or else they ll die.
3
SPEAKER_00
Pray to God, then kiss your fingers three times or else you ll have cancer.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like all of that just adorable stuff.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, why do we do that?
3
SPEAKER_00
I had one time where I was in seventh grade, I got my period, then I didn t have it for a year and I thought I was the Virgin Mary.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, wonderful.
3
SPEAKER_00
No wonder you and Liz are friends.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s so lit.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then it was the whole neurosis.
3
SPEAKER_00
I would just like pray every night for God to take away the new Jesus Christ that was being born in me.
3
SPEAKER_01
Ah, you didn t want to be the new virgin.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, I was like, God, please.
3
SPEAKER_00
No one wants that.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s time-consuming.
3
SPEAKER_00
Motherhood, you can t even ask for it.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s too much responsibility.
3
SPEAKER_01
Too much for a seventh grader.
3
SPEAKER_01
You gotta guide this messiah.
3
SPEAKER_00
No, totally.
3
SPEAKER_00
Not me, God, please.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s like, I m stressed out because I think my kids have the potential to be good singers.
3
SPEAKER_01
I hope we get them there.
3
SPEAKER_01
Or writers, but not the Messiah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, wait, wait.
3
SPEAKER_00
I have a question for you.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
So my mom is like, I really hope my sister isn t in the industry.
3
SPEAKER_00
Are you like, I hope they re not?
3
SPEAKER_00
Or are you like, no, I hope they are because they ll have somebody great to guide them.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, what I think is I don t want them to do it as children.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s really important.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I just want them to have stuff to draw on.
3
SPEAKER_01
I want them to fuck around in New York for two years without thinking about people or looking at them.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like if they re going to be filming them.
3
SPEAKER_01
Fuck up pretty big time.
3
SPEAKER_00
No, fuck up.
3
SPEAKER_00
I just started giving myself permission to fuck up literally a year and a half ago.
3
SPEAKER_00
Right.
3
SPEAKER_00
Before that, it was like every mistake I made, I would just punish myself.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was so hard on myself.
3
SPEAKER_01
The world was watching you.
3
SPEAKER_01
It wasn t even in your head.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was a reality.
3
SPEAKER_01
But so I would like them to have childhoods, but I do have a lot of friends that don t want their kids to go into it, even as adults.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, I m sorry, I washed cars for fucking 16 years.
3
SPEAKER_01
What job do you think is more?
3
SPEAKER_01
pleasant.
3
SPEAKER_00
You what, for 16 years?
3
SPEAKER_01
I know your father and I have this in common.
3
SPEAKER_01
I washed cars, I detailed cars from 14, I guess I just exaggerated, 14 to 28.
3
SPEAKER_01
So 14 years, I washed tens of thousands of cars.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, you washed cars longer than my dad.
3
SPEAKER_01
Right, because this is so cute, Monica.
3
SPEAKER_01
The mom who had been trained as an architect, who came to America and worked at Marshalls, ended up taking a job working in an architect firm because she knew AutoCAD.
3
SPEAKER_01
She taught herself AutoCAD.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then the dad and the mom formed a construction company named after the little girls.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then in a family business construction company.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, that s incredible.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I think this is also like an immigrant parent, like even now, my mom cannot fucking sit still.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
She just has to move, move, move.
3
SPEAKER_00
But wait, talking about the industry, I agree with you.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like go say words in front of a camera and hang with a bunch of creative people.
3
SPEAKER_01
How could that not be great?
3
SPEAKER_00
I feel really lucky that I ve held on to the sacredness of what made me get here.
3
SPEAKER_00
I love music and art so much.
3
SPEAKER_00
If anything, I love it more and more the more I m exposed to things.
3
SPEAKER_00
I watch an amazing movie, or I read an amazing book, or I listen to an amazing album.
3
SPEAKER_00
And sometimes it s frustrating because I do feel like there s a big difference between commerce and art.
3
SPEAKER_00
Actually, by the way, you know what?
3
SPEAKER_00
I m not trying to sound like a pretentious dick douchebag, but I m saying it s different.
3
SPEAKER_00
And doing something that you love for work has its own trickery because you find yourself being like, well, I want to succeed in the business sense, but at the same time, I never want to lose the childlike integrity of why I do things.
3
SPEAKER_01
Don t you think you re dancing with the devil in that what you don t want to do is make your art service the commerce because you re afraid that it ll no longer be art.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s what I m trying to say.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m not trying to sound like I m fucking like Michelangelo.
3
SPEAKER_01
You should want the success.
3
SPEAKER_01
But you re trying to prevent yourself from letting it guide your artistic output.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s hard.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ve done that for 95% of my career, which is really good.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s huge.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s a really good batting average.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I feel like now, for example, in this last album, 100%.
3
SPEAKER_00
I never ever did anything that I m not obsessed with.
3
SPEAKER_01
I love it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I love it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I love it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I love it.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s the song.
3
SPEAKER_01
I figured.
3
SPEAKER_01
You knew that.
3
SPEAKER_01
So young, Monica.
3
SPEAKER_01
Watch out.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m younger than you right now.
3
SPEAKER_00
Take a hit of your vape after you say that.
4
SPEAKER_00
You kind of be like an Olympian where you fall in love with a sport and then the sport becomes everything and then you don t enjoy doing the sport anymore.
4
SPEAKER_02
No, there can be something fun to the competitive aspect of it too.
4
SPEAKER_00
For sure.
4
SPEAKER_02
But sometimes I feel it in myself and I m like the competitive thing has to take a backseat and you have to get back to joy.
4
SPEAKER_00
Again, that s another thing.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t think it s black and white.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t think it s like, don t be competitive or not.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s like, what s the ratio that you don t feel sick about yourself or disappointed?
4
SPEAKER_02
And it s constant.
4
SPEAKER_02
I love this meditation that I did once where it s like, life is like riding a bike and you re constantly micro balancing.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like you re constantly like, ooh, a little more weight here.
4
SPEAKER_01
Just tiny adjustments.
4
SPEAKER_01
Did you do the meditation after COVID when you learned to ride a bike?
4
SPEAKER_02
Because before that, that would have been very confusing.
4
SPEAKER_02
What are they talking about?
4
SPEAKER_00
I thought it was all about pedaling.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think the zone is like, I want to win, but I m not rooting for someone to fail.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s like the line.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m not actually seeking someone to fail, but I am seeking to win.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I think that s something we don t practice a lot in our culture.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like anytime I catch myself feeling jealous of someone.
4
SPEAKER_02
I did this last night.
4
SPEAKER_02
I practice genuinely trying to find the space where I feel happy for them.
4
SPEAKER_00
Who are you jealous of?
4
SPEAKER_00
Because that s really hard to believe.
4
SPEAKER_00
I ll list some of people I m jealous of.
4
SPEAKER_02
Okay, go.
4
SPEAKER_00
Vince Vaughn, still to this day.
4
SPEAKER_02
I get jealous whenever I feel like they re having their moment, and I want to fucking have my moment.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, how could you be a performer and not be jealous of Taylor Swift?
4
SPEAKER_02
Taylor is a little different, though, because Vince Vaughn is your contemporary.
4
SPEAKER_02
Taylor, I don t feel like, is like my contemporary.
4
SPEAKER_02
She was like before me.
4
SPEAKER_00
That makes sense.
4
SPEAKER_00
It d be like me being jealous of Bill Murray.
4
SPEAKER_00
Right.
4
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s like, no, like, obviously he s the GOAT.
4
SPEAKER_02
Not going to be jealous of him.
4
SPEAKER_00
And he s 15 years ahead of me.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s more like your contemporaries where you re like, fuck, I want what she s having.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
I do think there is a competitive drive that is important and fun.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s like why I love sports documentaries.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like, I love Kobe Bryant, Muse.
4
SPEAKER_00
This is telling of you.
4
SPEAKER_02
It really is.
4
SPEAKER_02
That informed a lot of my teenage years.
4
SPEAKER_00
Do you harness Black Mamba?
4
SPEAKER_02
I did, for sure.
4
SPEAKER_02
I really did.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay, do you know what that means, Monica?
4
SPEAKER_02
No.
4
SPEAKER_00
So he was beloved, then he had legal troubles, accused of rape.
4
SPEAKER_00
Needs to be said, he was not convicted of that for this conversation.
4
SPEAKER_00
But everywhere he went, people started booing him.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it was like a huge 180 of his experience.
4
SPEAKER_00
And at some point, it was like either going to kill him, or he said, you know what?
4
SPEAKER_00
Now I m Black Mamba.
4
SPEAKER_00
Fuck it.
4
SPEAKER_00
He actually thrived on going into Denver and having them boo him and be like, I m gonna shut these motherfuckers up.
4
SPEAKER_02
I think Beyonce has a similar thing where I ve heard her say, not personally, to him.
4
SPEAKER_02
She said when she s angry, it makes her a better performer, makes for a better show, which is maybe maladaptive.
4
SPEAKER_00
I would argue it s adaptive.
4
SPEAKER_02
I think it s adaptive.
4
SPEAKER_00
There s a positive outcome out of something negative.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s adaptive.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think you re right.
4
SPEAKER_00
If you turn something good into a negative, that feels maladaptive.
4
SPEAKER_02
But there is a very powerful energy behind anger or sadness or rage, and it s huge.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes, there s like sexual, and then there s justice in revenge.
4
SPEAKER_02
And they re huge.
4
SPEAKER_02
You know what, there s times where I remember this performance that I did singing to my dad, the first man performance.
4
SPEAKER_02
I will say, I think love is a huge energy source.
4
SPEAKER_02
I remember being like, fuck, whoever s in these first few rows, this is for my family.
4
SPEAKER_02
And that shit, my hand was so steady because that energy is so strong.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s adaptive.
4
SPEAKER_01
We all do it.
4
SPEAKER_01
We all use anger and revenge.
4
SPEAKER_01
We can use it positively.
4
SPEAKER_01
I do think that would technically fall in a maladaptive category.
4
SPEAKER_02
I think the Black Mamba stuff was more in my teenage years when I was struggling a little bit more.
4
SPEAKER_02
The group stuff was hard.
4
SPEAKER_02
Everything was hard.
4
SPEAKER_02
I felt misunderstood sometimes.
4
SPEAKER_02
It was just all fucking hard.
4
SPEAKER_02
And that was my way of releasing that, was harnessing that.
4
SPEAKER_02
But now I don t draw from that place as much.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you re right.
4
SPEAKER_00
Again, everything s in moderation.
4
SPEAKER_00
I do hear a lot of people tell their story, and so many people s story involves, they told me I would never blank.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, who?
4
SPEAKER_00
It s like 80% of people s story is like, they told me I would never blank.
4
SPEAKER_00
Who s they?
4
SPEAKER_00
I think a lot of people invent the they that told them they couldn t do it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think the they is actually themselves were terrified they couldn t do it.
4
SPEAKER_00
And now there s this kind of fictitious they that said they couldn t do it.
4
SPEAKER_02
I find myself doing that sometimes, and then I remind myself, it s never as personal as you think it is.
4
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
4
SPEAKER_02
And it s like, maybe they just didn t see it because they weren t seeing it that particular Monday, but you re giving so much energy to that.
4
SPEAKER_02
They just went and had breakfast after that.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s just never that personal.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
So, okay, you go to X Factor, you go through the process.
4
SPEAKER_00
They don t air your thing, which is interesting.
4
SPEAKER_00
They couldn t get the rights for Respect.
4
SPEAKER_00
You sang Aretha Franklin s Respect.
4
SPEAKER_00
What a swing for the fences.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
4
SPEAKER_02
Well, I made it the poppy version.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay, go ahead and sing it for me now.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t mind if you do.
4
SPEAKER_02
R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
4
SPEAKER_02
That s all I ll do because I haven t fucking warmed up.
4
SPEAKER_00
You were supposed to then go, oh.
4
SPEAKER_02
Definitely not a choice I would have made now.
4
SPEAKER_02
I was fucking bold as hell.
4
SPEAKER_00
I love it.
4
SPEAKER_02
Jesus Christ.
4
SPEAKER_02
I just was like, nobody s going to sing this song in this way.
4
SPEAKER_02
When they didn t air my audition, that started building my underdog story for sure.
4
SPEAKER_02
I was like, they didn t believe in me.
4
SPEAKER_02
Now come to find out like six years later.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, they just didn t have the right Yeah, like it wasn t personal bitch So they didn t air her going through the audition process But you go to boot camp and then you get bounced out of boot camp your story ends on x-factor at boot camp But then they bring you back and they bring you back with four other people.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yep, and
4
SPEAKER_00
Monica, I did not know this story until today.
4
SPEAKER_00
They bring her back with four other people, randomly paired, and they perform together, and that becomes Fifth Harmony.
4
SPEAKER_01
Whoa, the random group?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Did you think we knew each other before?
4
SPEAKER_01
I assume that with all of these groups and it s never that way.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like Spice Girls was placed together and even more and more now with the K-pop groups and stuff.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s such a fascinating dynamic to do that.
4
SPEAKER_00
Because if you look at all the great bands that historically have existed, it s like two or three of them all went to high school.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like you look at Led Zeppelin, people knew each other.
4
SPEAKER_00
Chili Peppers, they re best friends and they form a band.
4
SPEAKER_02
But in the band, everybody had their role.
4
SPEAKER_02
There wasn t like five lead singers.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s another insane dynamic.
4
SPEAKER_00
Five lead guitar players.
4
SPEAKER_02
I think that s probably why those bands were more sustainable.
4
SPEAKER_00
Durable, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
So you were 15.
4
SPEAKER_00
What were the age of the other four?
4
SPEAKER_02
I believe it was 15, 15 a few months younger, maybe like 16, 17 and 20.
4
SPEAKER_00
So it s not like you were 15 and they were all 18.
4
SPEAKER_00
So it was a little smattering of ages.
4
SPEAKER_00
You were older than one person and then three were older than you.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yep.
4
SPEAKER_00
Also, it s a unique moment to fuse you guys because you have all just, I hate to use the word failed, but you guys all came there with a dream and then that was shut down.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then now this is this weird second chance.
4
SPEAKER_00
And so I would imagine that s an interesting dynamic.
4
SPEAKER_02
I was such a big One Direction fan that I was kind of like, whoa, this is crazy.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m living this reality.
4
SPEAKER_00
So were you immediately kind of embracing of it?
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I was immediately embracing of it.
4
SPEAKER_02
I was like, this shit is fire.
4
SPEAKER_02
In elementary school, I always pretended to be in girl groups with my friends.
4
SPEAKER_00
Right.
4
SPEAKER_02
I was like literally in four girl groups before Fifth Harmony.
4
SPEAKER_02
made of like seven-year-olds.
4
SPEAKER_00
But out of five people, there s no way all five had that scene.
4
SPEAKER_02
No, no, no, no, no.
4
SPEAKER_00
All right, and we don t have to name any names.
4
SPEAKER_00
I have no interest in creating drama.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, no, there was definitely reactions for sure.
4
SPEAKER_02
Understandably.
4
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I think I was lucky.
4
SPEAKER_02
I was already a One Direction fan.
4
SPEAKER_02
I was just crushed that I wasn t gonna keep going.
4
SPEAKER_02
This was the closest proximity I had to actually doing this.
4
SPEAKER_00
In your mind, this was the one shot you ll ever have in your life.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, so I was like, I m going home now?
4
SPEAKER_02
Hell no.
4
SPEAKER_02
I ll be fucking janitor here if you want me to.
4
SPEAKER_02
I was just happy to be back.
4
SPEAKER_02
And also to be honest, the One Direction thing, I was like, wow, this is so sick.
4
SPEAKER_02
So I was really happy.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then you obviously, you guys hit the chemistry lottery in that as a group, it immediately works.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s also one in a million.
4
SPEAKER_02
It really is.
4
SPEAKER_02
And even seeing stuff, because there was like a brief moment on TikTok, I guess, where there was a bunch of videos of us coming back.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I was like,
4
SPEAKER_02
Wow, yeah, I could see how, as a fan, it s really interesting to see, like, five totally different personalities.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s a crazy social experiment.
4
SPEAKER_00
It is.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s like Big Brother or something.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it was definitely not boring.
4
SPEAKER_00
How immediate was it?
4
SPEAKER_02
Should I put these on or no?
4
SPEAKER_00
Hello?
4
SPEAKER_00
Do you like it?
4
SPEAKER_02
I actually really like it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, you know what?
4
SPEAKER_00
I was gonna say you might, because it actually limits the amount of stimuli.
4
SPEAKER_02
No, I actually really like it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Is this how good your voice sounds?
4
SPEAKER_02
It s, like, making me want to talk more.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like, I like it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Same, same, same.
4
SPEAKER_00
How immediate is that first performance on X Factor to you guys have songs in your touring?
4
SPEAKER_02
Shit, you re really making me draw on the memory bank.
4
SPEAKER_02
This is where I definitely have some gaps here, but we went right into it.
4
SPEAKER_02
We were nonstop working for like five years.
4
SPEAKER_02
I think we maybe had 15 days for Christmas break every year.
4
SPEAKER_02
And besides that, we was working.
4
SPEAKER_02
I think right from X Factor.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s 2012.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then by 2013, you have an album.
4
SPEAKER_02
We went right into the studio.
4
SPEAKER_00
And how big are the shows you guys were playing at that time?
4
SPEAKER_02
We were like in malls.
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yes.
4
SPEAKER_02
What was that like?
4
SPEAKER_00
Was it fun or humbling?
4
SPEAKER_02
There are some hilarious memes now.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh.
4
SPEAKER_00
People who saw you like at Sears.
4
SPEAKER_02
Just hilarious.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, literally just giving her all with fucking Forever 21 in the background.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_00
Sunglass mobile kiosk behind you.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, literally.
4
SPEAKER_00
What did it grow to though?
4
SPEAKER_00
The size of the venues you were playing.
4
SPEAKER_02
Some arenas.
4
SPEAKER_00
And everyone s parents are with them during these tours?
4
SPEAKER_02
When we were minors, it was all parents.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then there was a point where it was like two parents at a time.
4
SPEAKER_02
It was capped.
4
SPEAKER_00
It was capped?
4
SPEAKER_02
Probably for fucking budget reasons.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like just hotel rooms.
4
SPEAKER_00
At any point, did you start getting, I think it would be insane excitement.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then at some point in
5
SPEAKER_03
to be like, hmm, somebody s making a lot of money around here.
5
SPEAKER_03
Did that ever click to you?
5
SPEAKER_01
We actually always made the same amount.
5
SPEAKER_03
I m more mean whoever s on top of all this.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
5
SPEAKER_03
The promoters, not the band members.
5
SPEAKER_01
Right, right, right.
5
SPEAKER_03
More like the Simon Cowell s and the L.A.
5
SPEAKER_03
Reid s and the promoters and all that.
5
SPEAKER_01
Maybe some parents were smart enough to figure that out.
5
SPEAKER_01
Honestly, until maybe the past few years, I just never really thought about money.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_03
This is Monica s gift.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, but also because you re doing the thing you like.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, we all were.
5
SPEAKER_01
I think the currency of that time when you re a teenager is not money, it s fame, power, ego.
5
SPEAKER_01
how people look at you.
5
SPEAKER_01
So I think that was the currency that we were all focused on.
5
SPEAKER_03
How was your ego doing at 15, 16, 17, 18, with that amount of attention and approval?
5
SPEAKER_03
Be honest.
5
SPEAKER_03
I would have been a monster.
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, tell me specifically, you mean like, how was your ego as if I was fucking like, yeah, I m the shit?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
No, I truly was not like, yeah, I m the shit.
5
SPEAKER_01
I was definitely competitive, for sure.
5
SPEAKER_03
You wanted to be the best singer in the group.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I wanted to be the best.
5
SPEAKER_01
Did everyone?
5
SPEAKER_01
I think everybody did, sure.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_03
Wanted them to clap the loudest.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I wanted them to clap the loudest.
5
SPEAKER_01
I wanted to be the most loved.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, how could you not?
5
SPEAKER_03
The weird thing, can I just add one thing that I think is really interesting and it s a gender dynamic.
5
SPEAKER_03
As a girl, you re already beautiful.
5
SPEAKER_03
So like, guys are an option.
5
SPEAKER_03
I think when you re a boy and you get in that situation, you re like, hold on a second, every girl here likes me?
5
SPEAKER_03
That s a very powerful elixir.
5
SPEAKER_03
I think that s where I would have destroyed myself at a young age.
5
SPEAKER_01
Girls don t have groupies like guys do though.
5
SPEAKER_01
They don t?
5
SPEAKER_01
No.
5
SPEAKER_01
The people that are coming to the shows are girls and gays.
5
SPEAKER_01
Girls and gays.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, G s and G s.
5
SPEAKER_01
So we re not like really getting groupies like that.
5
SPEAKER_01
We re getting maybe one or two hot, famous people that slide into your DMs.
5
SPEAKER_01
You live for those one or two people.
5
SPEAKER_01
You re like, oh my God, this is all.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like, it is fucking slim pickings out here.
5
SPEAKER_00
But they re not coming to the concert because in the patriarchy, they re not going to show up at this, like, a bunch of powerful girls.
5
SPEAKER_00
Unless they re smashing.
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, unless they re smart, but they aren t.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s so hard in that dynamic to even admit, yeah, of course I wanted to be the best.
5
SPEAKER_01
Of course I wanted the most applause.
5
SPEAKER_01
Because I felt the...
5
SPEAKER_01
demographic at times could be very toxic and they would be like, how dare she want to be the best?
5
SPEAKER_01
How dare she want the most applause?
5
SPEAKER_01
Fucking bitch.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it s like, well, I m sorry, I m human.
5
SPEAKER_01
We all did.
5
SPEAKER_00
They designed it that way.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, five beautiful girls who could sing.
5
SPEAKER_00
Of course, it d be crazy if you were all at that age, like, yeah, we re super happy to completely share this.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I m sorry.
5
SPEAKER_01
It was before we had our prefrontal cortex.
5
SPEAKER_03
I do wonder, also, you re from a very individualistic society, which is very well studied and documented.
5
SPEAKER_03
I do wonder if these Korean bands that are, they might be more well positioned in a collectivist society to deal with that better.
5
SPEAKER_03
You re supposed to win everything you do.
5
SPEAKER_01
I know, and also how people react.
5
SPEAKER_01
There s always, who s your fave?
5
SPEAKER_01
Who s the best?
5
SPEAKER_01
I think we all felt like, I want to be your fave.
5
SPEAKER_01
You just want love.
5
SPEAKER_03
It equates to acceptance, which is the nice thing we really want.
5
SPEAKER_03
100 P. And you re also selling merch, I imagine, like individual merch that could be trash.
5
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no, no way.
5
SPEAKER_01
That would have been a fucking nightmare.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s bad.
5
SPEAKER_03
If you were like selling 10X of your t-shirts to other members of the band, are you on social media at this period?
5
SPEAKER_01
I promised myself I would never Google myself or search my name on Twitter or anything like that.
5
SPEAKER_01
But you are on social media enough that you can feel it.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know how many followers.
5
SPEAKER_03
That s what we get tricky.
5
SPEAKER_03
There s five members of the group and everyone can see how many followers everyone has.
5
SPEAKER_03
Were you the number one that was followed?
5
SPEAKER_03
That s enough.
5
SPEAKER_00
Don t be mad at her for saying that.
5
SPEAKER_01
Dax made her say that.
5
SPEAKER_03
No, that s just a fact.
5
SPEAKER_01
What s crazy is I do feel like the fans will eat you.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
5
SPEAKER_03
And let s add the layer of misogyny that exists somehow with women, which is like, the only story for five women working together is that they hate each other and fight.
5
SPEAKER_03
That was the desperate housewife story.
5
SPEAKER_03
Any one of these, they don t ever do that when there s a group of dudes.
5
SPEAKER_00
No.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, no one s saying.
5
SPEAKER_03
The dudes have to be fist fighting each other in public for that.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s crazy Justin Timberlake wanted to have a solo career.
5
SPEAKER_00
No one s saying that.
5
100%.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I will say, to be fair, I think the best part of looking at groups, because I remember seeing this from One Direction or Destiny s Child, you love seeing the sisterhood and the friendship and the moments of laughing because you want it for yourself.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_01
Especially as a fan.
5
SPEAKER_01
It was a parasocial relationship and you just place yourself in that.
5
SPEAKER_01
So I actually think people root for people to get along.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s such an impossible situation.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like imagine you re a girl of 11 years old, four years older, being thrust into like a thing with four other girls.
5
SPEAKER_03
One of them would be great in it and one of them it would destroy.
5
SPEAKER_03
It s also personality.
5
SPEAKER_00
It is.
5
SPEAKER_00
It is a personality.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think it would be hard for anyone, any type of personality because you can t help but compare.
5
SPEAKER_03
Well, look, I was at the groundlings at 27, 28 in the Sunday company.
5
SPEAKER_03
When I say I love everyone there, I would have done anything for anyone there.
5
SPEAKER_03
I would have give them my money, I d jump in front of a train for them.
5
SPEAKER_00
But.
5
SPEAKER_03
And I definitely wanted to be the best person in that show.
5
SPEAKER_03
Exactly, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I wanted them to clap the loudest for me.
5
SPEAKER_03
And you were 28.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I was 28.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, right.
5
SPEAKER_03
All things were true.
5
SPEAKER_01
All things were true.
5
SPEAKER_03
When you left,
5
SPEAKER_03
What was the main thrust of thing you were desiring?
5
SPEAKER_03
Was it expression?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_01
I was so into songwriting and I just wanted to write my own songs.
5
SPEAKER_03
Who at that moment that you were about to launch your solo career were you kind of obsessed with as an artist?
5
SPEAKER_01
Probably Taylor.
5
SPEAKER_01
I think she was the person that made me get into writing.
5
SPEAKER_03
That s so cool because the vibe is so different.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s so different.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it really evolved.
5
SPEAKER_01
My influences are so different, but I think I started to find my voice through.
5
SPEAKER_01
You see, like, a young woman who writes about her experiences through song, and it just feels like, I can do that.
5
SPEAKER_01
That sounds fun.
5
SPEAKER_03
I think she s almost the best role model an artist has ever had.
5
SPEAKER_03
By the way, Beyonce s my number one.
5
SPEAKER_03
She fell out of the sky.
5
SPEAKER_03
And so there s a lot of things about her that are not really even aspirational.
5
SPEAKER_03
I can t look and move like Beyonce.
5
SPEAKER_03
And she clearly has a great work ethic, but that s not the thing that was center stage.
5
SPEAKER_03
It was like, she s so glamorous in her fucking innate singing.
5
SPEAKER_03
Well, not innate, I m sure she worked for it, but her range and her power as a vocalist is like Aretha.
5
SPEAKER_03
So these are things I can t work and get.
5
SPEAKER_03
And so for Taylor, I think there s so much of her success is just based on the commitment to explore herself and tell her story and be prolific in hard work.
5
SPEAKER_03
That s a really great role model.
5
SPEAKER_01
I think there s different things that I take from both of them.
5
SPEAKER_01
Beyonce, I think she has that Kobe Bryant thing on stage.
5
SPEAKER_01
She s just like a fucking monster.
5
SPEAKER_01
What she becomes when she s on stage, it s superhuman.
5
SPEAKER_03
Okay, so Taylor was obviously someone you were like, okay, were you old enough and mature enough to recognize that the thing she was doing was also securing some longevity for herself?
5
SPEAKER_03
Like if that was the approach you took, you could more write your own future.
5
SPEAKER_01
I definitely feel like, wow, thank God that I started writing at such a young age.
5
SPEAKER_01
There was an era of people that were maybe just singers and they took songs from people.
5
SPEAKER_01
And now the industry has changed so much where the songwriters that were behind the scenes became artists.
5
SPEAKER_01
A lot of those singers that did that are like, oh shit, who s going to fucking write my song?
5
SPEAKER_01
And I feel really grateful to past me that I had that curiosity because I don t really have to wait on anyone or like depend on anyone.
5
SPEAKER_03
That s what I m saying.
5
SPEAKER_03
It puts you in the steering wheel a lot more.
5
SPEAKER_01
Absolutely.
5
SPEAKER_00
But that s the misleading thing about Taylor.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like when you say it seems a tiny bit more attainable because it s not like dropped from the sky.
5
SPEAKER_00
It is.
5
SPEAKER_00
Her ability to write in a way that s hyper personal yet extremely universal is unparalleled.
5
SPEAKER_00
There is not another artist who can do that, that specifically.
5
SPEAKER_00
There s a new album.
5
SPEAKER_00
People have all kinds of opinions on it.
5
SPEAKER_03
You know what s funny about the way you just said that?
5
SPEAKER_03
I don t know what s happening.
5
SPEAKER_00
I know, but everyone else does.
5
SPEAKER_03
But I now think people are shitting on it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Is that what people say?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, some people are.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s also the most streamed album of all time.
5
SPEAKER_00
She s doing just fine.
5
SPEAKER_00
But at first, when I heard it, I was like, whoa, it s a little too personal.
5
SPEAKER_00
I can t connect.
5
SPEAKER_00
And she says, like, these are poems.
5
SPEAKER_00
But then I listened again and I was like, no, I can t stop listening now.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I super- It s a grower, not a shower.
5
SPEAKER_03
What if that was the Rolling Stone review of it instead of Grower?
5
SPEAKER_01
That s actually amazing.
5
SPEAKER_01
I was going to say, I think she taught me so much.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I feel like my favorite art now is the more specific something is, actually, the more universal it is.
5
SPEAKER_01
A hundred percent.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I feel like my songwriting grew so much when I was focused on that.
5
SPEAKER_01
Don t try to make it universal because then it s nothing.
5
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
5
SPEAKER_03
Well, the hits start coming fast.
5
SPEAKER_03
When you go solo, they re coming hot and fast.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, thank you.
5
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_03
I want to go to order.
5
SPEAKER_00
Wait, while you wait for your order, I do want to say one thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m also peeing my pants.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, go pee!
5
SPEAKER_00
Can I?
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay, yes.
5
SPEAKER_01
Matt Davin s in here.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he is.
5
SPEAKER_01
He lives there.
5
SPEAKER_01
That was fast.
5
SPEAKER_00
I am the fastest here in the world.
5
SPEAKER_00
Wow, I m impressed.
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you guys go in your pool a lot?
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, we go in the hot tub almost every night.
5
SPEAKER_03
No, I don t pull plunge she s a beast in the sauna though She s gone in there in her clothes
6
SPEAKER_00
That s insane.
6
SPEAKER_00
I did one time go into my clothes just to like say bye and then we started chatting.
6
SPEAKER_00
And she didn t sweat.
6
SPEAKER_00
And you like don t even notice that you re in a sauna.
6
SPEAKER_02
I don t know if she wasn t sweating because she s impervious to heat or she has no water because she doesn t drink a lot of water.
6
SPEAKER_02
I don t drink a lot of water.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s working out.
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t get thirsty.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yes!
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t get thirsty unless I m working out.
6
SPEAKER_00
If I m working out, I m super thirsty.
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t get thirsty.
6
SPEAKER_00
I am with you.
6
SPEAKER_00
Or in the sauna, other than that, I m not thirsty.
6
SPEAKER_00
I could go literally all day.
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t crave water.
6
SPEAKER_01
One thing I want to say real quick before we come back in, because this happens all the time and it s important to me that we say, I don t like that every time we talk about Taylor, every time we talk about Beyonce, not you, in general, the world is
6
SPEAKER_01
doing this, where they are now linked, where we re comparing one to the other.
6
SPEAKER_01
I mean, a part of it s timing, I guess.
6
SPEAKER_01
They both had concerts at the same time.
6
SPEAKER_01
They both have these new albums, but it s always, and even from friends of mine, I know they re like, I m a Beyonce girl.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m like, well, you can be, that s crazy.
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t do that, but I thought it was so sick when they linked up.
6
SPEAKER_00
Me too.
6
SPEAKER_02
Wait, what s that mean?
6
SPEAKER_00
Love it when two bad bitches link up.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like they just supported each other s
6
SPEAKER_02
Oh, they went to each other s concerts?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, their red carpet.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like, I think that s so fire, because other industries, you have colleagues and you go to lunch.
6
SPEAKER_00
The music industry is really not like that.
6
SPEAKER_00
Supportive.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s like, can we just hang out?
6
SPEAKER_00
We all do the same thing.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, and we re the only four people on planet Earth that knows what this experience is like, and we could comfort each other.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, like, let s have dinner.
6
SPEAKER_00
What the fuck?
6
SPEAKER_02
But I do want to, Monica,
6
SPEAKER_02
I think we re smart enough to make the distinction between what I was saying and what some people are saying.
6
SPEAKER_02
A lot of people are positioning this as who s better.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s not at all.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m looking at two people that are apex success and how they did it differently.
6
SPEAKER_02
I would say Vince Vaughn and Will Ferrell are like two of my comedy heroes and they had such different approaches and what were those approaches and I think it s honoring them to actually break down what their unique recipe is that ends them both here.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m not saying what you did is wrong, but there is a
6
SPEAKER_02
There s a pitting against each other.
6
SPEAKER_01
There s a big conversation out in the world that s specifically about them and it s a very common thing for female artists.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like I m sure you get it all the time.
6
SPEAKER_01
You do not hear it as much at all with this man.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s always compared to this man and who s better and who s not.
6
SPEAKER_02
That s not true.
6
SPEAKER_02
True, Monica.
6
SPEAKER_02
In the rap world, you were Jay-Z or Nas and they hated each other.
6
SPEAKER_02
And then it was Prince or Michael Jackson.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s very human for there to be two popular things and you to identify more with the other and then inadvertently make yourself in that team.
6
SPEAKER_02
So it s not exclusive to women.
6
SPEAKER_02
I don t think that s really fair.
6
SPEAKER_01
I think it s more, I think it s much more prevalent.
6
SPEAKER_02
I definitely agree with the like, they gotta be fighting because they re women, they can t get along stereotype that s perpetuated.
6
SPEAKER_02
But I think men are pitted against each other.
6
SPEAKER_02
Like Led Zeppelin and Rolling Stones, or Rolling Stones and Beatles.
6
SPEAKER_02
In fact, growing up, my mother was like, we re a Rolling Stones family.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I definitely remember growing up and being like, you re either a Prince fan or you re a Michael Jackson fan.
6
SPEAKER_02
Right.
6
SPEAKER_02
It pervades all of it, to be honest.
6
SPEAKER_02
Okay, so you leave in 2016.
6
SPEAKER_02
And then quickly, Hey Ma comes out.
6
SPEAKER_02
You re in a Fast and Furious soundtrack, crazy.
6
SPEAKER_02
You go on the Bruno Mars 24 Magic world tour.
6
SPEAKER_02
But I imagine even with that success and excitement, Havana s like something bonkers is now happening.
6
SPEAKER_02
Is that fair to say?
6
SPEAKER_02
Best-selling single of 2018, Spotify s most streamed song ever by a solo female artist.
6
SPEAKER_02
As much as you wanted to win, when you win that big, then you kind of flip and go like, uh-oh.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like a little too fast.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, or just like, I don t trust this.
6
SPEAKER_00
Honestly, what I remember- Or you re like, I knew it.
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t think you ever know how big a song is going to be, but I feel like I know when a song is special.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, I feel like this bitch is special.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Sing it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Whoa, those are those Beyonce pipes coming in.
6
SPEAKER_00
There was something just kind of weird about it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Those are usually the ones where it either totally goes under the radar or it really connects.
6
SPEAKER_00
People either really get it or they don t.
6
SPEAKER_00
I often know if a song is good when I play it to someone, not because of their reaction, but how I feel.
6
SPEAKER_00
You almost are extra critical because there s somebody there.
6
SPEAKER_00
And if you re like cringing inside, you re like, this is not good.
6
SPEAKER_00
And if you re like, fuck yeah, then you know it s good.
6
SPEAKER_00
Hear this shit.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, exactly.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I think that s why it s important to stay connected.
6
SPEAKER_00
If you re always listening to music for fun, you know how a great song makes you feel.
6
SPEAKER_00
So you know if your song makes you feel like that.
6
SPEAKER_00
And if it doesn t, then you re like, well, shit, this ain t it.
6
SPEAKER_02
Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert.
6
SPEAKER_00
What I remember the most about that time actually was, and not to sound ungrateful because I m not, but I had my first relationship at that time.
6
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I can t even believe I blew past this.
6
SPEAKER_02
You lived out my fantasy.
6
SPEAKER_02
Oh God.
6
SPEAKER_02
What was it?
6
SPEAKER_02
So for people who have not done this in their life, it s a very weird experience.
6
SPEAKER_02
It was just, you go out on a publicity tour of some variety and on your schedule in the morning, you wake up and you re going to be
6
SPEAKER_02
Today s show, and then you re going to The View, and then you re going to David Letterman at night.
6
SPEAKER_02
And while you re out around town, and it can even happen in Atlanta, they send you to Atlanta, and you re gonna do this show and this show.
6
SPEAKER_02
You re at a hotel, and you see other people that are promoting their stuff.
6
SPEAKER_02
So these are like colleagues that you didn t even imagine you had.
6
SPEAKER_02
And so you go on these shows, and I always had this fantasy where you re in the green room with people, and you meet a fellow actor or a fellow something, and you re both out selling your thing.
6
SPEAKER_02
I ve always wanted to fall in love with one of those people.
6
SPEAKER_02
Is this the relationship?
6
SPEAKER_02
This was the relationship.
6
SPEAKER_02
So she s doing the Today Show and meets a guy who s there with presumably a book or something.
6
SPEAKER_02
He s a life coach.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
6
SPEAKER_02
So what happened?
6
SPEAKER_02
You re at the Today Show.
6
SPEAKER_02
Were you in the green room?
6
SPEAKER_00
I was outside where they have the TV with the scripts.
6
SPEAKER_00
I had actually listened to his podcast before.
6
SPEAKER_02
By accident or in preparation?
6
SPEAKER_00
No, I listened to his podcast before as a fan because he had like a dating podcast.
6
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
6
SPEAKER_00
And he is married now, so congratulations.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, wonderful.
6
SPEAKER_00
I was like, oh my God, I m such a big fan.
6
SPEAKER_00
I love podcasts, as you can see.
6
SPEAKER_00
And so we went to dinner that night and that was my first relationship.
6
SPEAKER_00
It was late for my first one, I was 20.
6
SPEAKER_00
Did you feel a little, not fraudulent, but oh yes, right?
6
SPEAKER_00
Absolutely, I was like, oh my God, I have never had a boyfriend.
6
SPEAKER_00
There was like literally eight songs that were like basically lonely, I am so lonely.
6
SPEAKER_00
Had you been having sex at all before 20?
6
SPEAKER_00
No, that was my first, my first time having sex.
6
SPEAKER_00
First lovemaking was at 2021.
6
SPEAKER_00
And it was lovemaking.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh God, it was literally lovemaking.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s wonderful.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, no, it was beautiful.
6
SPEAKER_02
One thing I did think about because he s a quote Relationship expert or at least I had written a book on dating and now I m learning how to podcast about dating at any point Would you go like hmm?
6
SPEAKER_00
This feels like he knows too much about this and it s calculating sometimes But I think that also honestly made him a great partner.
6
SPEAKER_00
He was a really great person.
6
SPEAKER_00
It was like the perfect person
6
SPEAKER_00
first relationship really expanded my world because he wasn t in my industry too.
6
SPEAKER_00
It was like, Oh my God, have you ever seen Anthony Bourdain, Parts Unknown?
6
SPEAKER_00
And have you ever seen Studio Ghibli films?
6
SPEAKER_00
He just really expanded my references because before that it was like six years just in the music industry and we traveled and we like took trips.
6
SPEAKER_00
So I remember when Havana was really big.
6
SPEAKER_00
I was just like, but most importantly, I m in love.
6
SPEAKER_00
You know, I m just such a fucking hopeless romantic.
6
SPEAKER_02
So what a year of your life, 2018.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it was a great year.
6
SPEAKER_00
I really want this year to be similar for me.
6
SPEAKER_00
I really hope I meet someone that I really like because it s been a while.
6
SPEAKER_00
Has it?
6
SPEAKER_00
Like probably, yeah, like a year.
6
SPEAKER_02
I always say I would relive seventh grade over and over again.
6
SPEAKER_00
I love that!
6
SPEAKER_02
Would you relive 2018 over and over again?
6
SPEAKER_02
If you had to pick one year, no, what would be the year?
6
SPEAKER_00
It s like far too hectic.
6
SPEAKER_00
I feel like I really, I won t say peaked at fifth grade because that s not, that s not the vibes that I want to give.
6
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
6
SPEAKER_00
But fifth grade, I feel like I was king of the world.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
I had my first tiny little boyfriend.
6
SPEAKER_02
He kissed you on the cheek and you ran away.
6
SPEAKER_00
You are the goat.
6
SPEAKER_00
He kissed me on my cheek.
6
SPEAKER_02
You need to write a song, Kiss Me I m Chic and I Ran Away.
6
SPEAKER_00
By the way, I actually did write a song about this called Butterfly Garden.
6
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
6
SPEAKER_00
And it was about being in fifth grade.
6
SPEAKER_00
That didn t make the album, so.
6
SPEAKER_02
There s no way you would know this, but do you know this band Wolfpack?
6
SPEAKER_00
No.
6
SPEAKER_02
They have a song, it s the cutest song in the world.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s a great song, and it s called Back Pocket.
6
SPEAKER_02
And the song is, put it in my pocket, put it in my pocket, in my back pocket, put it in my pocket, in my pocket, in my back pocket.
6
SPEAKER_02
And it s all about getting a note slid in your back pocket on the playground.
6
SPEAKER_00
See, I love the specificity of that.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s some Taylor Swift shit.
6
SPEAKER_02
That s some T-Swift shit right there.
6
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, 5th grade.
6
SPEAKER_00
And also, I feel like that was my favorite era of music too.
6
SPEAKER_02
Who was hot when you were in 5th grade?
6
SPEAKER_00
Like Crank That Soulja Boy, Slow by T-Pain.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh man, that was in college.
6
SPEAKER_02
Gotta get low, low, low.
6
SPEAKER_00
Stronger by Kanye.
6
SPEAKER_00
What an album.
6
SPEAKER_02
Okay, is it too much to ask?
6
SPEAKER_02
I mean, this would be my guess.
6
SPEAKER_02
This gentleman was a little bit older and he had already worked through all of his stuff and he probably was wise enough to go like, this gal s still on a big, big ride that I don t know if I can link my cart to.
6
SPEAKER_02
I gotta let this one go free and flap her wings and do all her stuff.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think we really had, and I m really putting this through like a big filter too, because I want to be so respectful of him, but I think he kind of knew that.
6
SPEAKER_00
But we were so happy together that I think he was probably like, this will be strong enough to kind of outweigh what is normal 21-year-old curiosity and peeking over the fence and whatever.
6
SPEAKER_02
I would be very scared to be in love with you in 2018.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think he was.
6
SPEAKER_00
He had a lot of anxiety about it, reasonably so.
6
SPEAKER_02
Having never met him, didn t read his book, know nothing about him, it sounds like maybe he was smart enough to go like, I wish I met this person 10 years from now.
6
SPEAKER_00
We always said that.
6
SPEAKER_00
He always said that.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s kind of cool also of him, because I think a lot of guys would have then
7
SPEAKER_00
tried to destroy you so that you couldn t have that future so that he could keep you.
7
SPEAKER_00
I think you see that pattern, especially with powerful, talented women who have a lot of attention and their own money.
7
SPEAKER_00
I think that impulse is not to set you free, but to try to take all that from you so that he can have you forever.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yes, so he can control you.
7
SPEAKER_02
And like when you re that young, love feels like the fucking best.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s the number one drug.
7
SPEAKER_02
If somebody would have been like, drop everything and run away with me, I would have been like, fuck yeah, I ll do it.
7
SPEAKER_00
Right.
7
SPEAKER_00
That s what I m saying.
7
SPEAKER_00
He could have been a dick.
7
SPEAKER_02
100%, whereas now I would be like, that s maladaptive.
7
SPEAKER_02
But I d probably still do it, actually.
7
SPEAKER_00
My therapist said this is maladaptive.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, and I would still do it.
7
SPEAKER_02
Do you feel like you give men a lot of power I say this to Liz all the time Even when I just said that joke like I d probably still do it There s two parts of me that are always fighting each other I know that it wouldn t be healthy, but I would still want to do it because it feels so good
7
SPEAKER_00
Well, I can tell you exactly what happened.
7
SPEAKER_00
You would do that, but you would do that for nine months.
7
SPEAKER_00
You d wake up one morning and go, what in the fuck am I doing?
7
SPEAKER_00
I don t really think you re dominable in that way, but I do think you could convince yourself in a romantic fantasy.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, me too.
7
SPEAKER_00
But I think you would pull yourself out of it.
7
SPEAKER_02
Just because it s so fun.
7
SPEAKER_02
Because I still actually don t think there is anything more fun than when you re first with someone.
7
SPEAKER_00
There isn t.
7
SPEAKER_02
There are things that are more nourishing, healthy, and like a deeper joy.
7
SPEAKER_02
But as far as the candiness of it all, nothing.
7
SPEAKER_00
And back to energy sources.
7
SPEAKER_00
The energy is impossible.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s cocaine.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s cocaine.
7
SPEAKER_01
And an obsessive personality.
7
SPEAKER_01
You just cannot get enough of that feeling.
7
100%.
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh, and the planning of what thing you re doing next and living in that what s next thing.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God.
7
SPEAKER_02
And your energy after you text them.
7
SPEAKER_02
Everything is funny.
7
SPEAKER_00
Everything s going to work out.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
Everything is like amazing.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s the best day ever.
7
SPEAKER_02
Do I give a lot of power to men?
7
SPEAKER_02
Can you specify a little bit more?
7
SPEAKER_01
I m going to, because I don t think she ll care because she loves you.
7
SPEAKER_01
I m going to bring her in.
7
SPEAKER_01
I say this to- We talk about this though.
7
SPEAKER_01
Liz, yes.
7
SPEAKER_01
You and I friend- Mutual friend.
7
SPEAKER_01
Are friendless.
7
SPEAKER_01
Our urinary friend, Liz.
7
SPEAKER_01
I always tell her that she gives men way too much power because she s incredible.
7
SPEAKER_00
She s so smart.
7
SPEAKER_00
She s beautiful.
7
SPEAKER_00
She s capable.
7
SPEAKER_00
She s everything.
7
SPEAKER_00
She s everything.
7
SPEAKER_01
often she ll dilute it or she defers to men.
7
SPEAKER_01
And a lot of areas in life, not just in a relationship, but even her and I have talked about business stuff and she s like, well, my mentor.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, Liz, that person should not be your mentor.
7
SPEAKER_01
But just because he s this like powerful man, you immediately elevate, because the world elevates him.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s not necessarily her.
7
SPEAKER_02
And also I feel like mentor men do walk around with like a, you need me vibe.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but she s susceptible to that.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I wonder, are you?
7
SPEAKER_02
I definitely have that tendency.
7
SPEAKER_02
And then when I like somebody or have a crush on somebody, I m always working on pulling myself back to reality.
7
SPEAKER_02
This is so easy for me to spend the whole day daydreaming about them and giving them characteristics that they have not shown me.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I have to remember, like, not the person that s in your head.
7
SPEAKER_02
And it s so much less fun.
7
SPEAKER_02
That s the thing.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s literally like,
7
SPEAKER_02
It s like sobering yourself up.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s like you are drunk off of this fantasy that you have created yourself.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s having a glass of water between drinks.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah, it sucks.
7
SPEAKER_02
We hate water.
7
SPEAKER_02
We literally are never thirsty.
7
SPEAKER_02
So yeah, I always have to bring myself back to the reality, which is always less fun.
7
SPEAKER_02
I remember before, whenever I would perform, nobody would make me more nervous than my boyfriend.
7
SPEAKER_02
I did feel like I would give men too much power at the time because my therapist would be like, that person should be a source of comfort for you.
7
SPEAKER_02
That person should be a source of like, I m so happy they re here.
7
SPEAKER_02
I m nervous about everybody else, but I would be the most nervous.
7
SPEAKER_02
I would be like doing fucking SNL and I would be like, is Sean gonna see it?
7
SPEAKER_00
Yes, I almost think what your therapist is suggesting is unrealistic and an unachievable goal, which is, actually, why would you give a fuck what anyone else thinks?
7
SPEAKER_00
You re not vested in that person liking you.
7
SPEAKER_02
I don t care what Joe Schmo thinks of me.
7
SPEAKER_00
I care what you think of me.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yes, the person you re in love with thinks of you.
7
SPEAKER_00
I actually think that s kind of healthy.
7
SPEAKER_00
Like, you should care what your friends and family.
7
SPEAKER_00
Now, should we elevate it above friends and family?
7
SPEAKER_00
Maybe not.
7
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
7
SPEAKER_00
There s a zone that s probably healthy, but I actually think that s very natural and almost seems like a waste of time to fight that.
7
SPEAKER_01
But if you re anxious.
7
SPEAKER_01
It depends.
7
SPEAKER_01
If you re just like, I hope they like it or I want them to be impressed by me.
7
SPEAKER_00
You said to me the other day, you saw my last Kimmel appearance.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
And you were like, oh my God, buddy, you crushed it or whatever.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, oh, that feels great.
7
SPEAKER_00
I mean, certainly people said that on Instagram to me, but yes, I want Monica to think I m funny when I go on TV.
7
SPEAKER_00
But 100%.
7
SPEAKER_00
If Kristen says I was hysterical.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s more like if you were like, fuck, Monica s gonna watch this.
7
SPEAKER_02
Exactly.
7
SPEAKER_00
Well, yes, that would be the pathological side of it.
7
SPEAKER_02
Exactly.
7
SPEAKER_02
I go a little pathological for sure.
7
SPEAKER_02
Right.
7
SPEAKER_00
Now...
7
SPEAKER_00
What s interesting now that I ve met you and I ve interviewed Sean and I ve also been at a couple of places where Sean was and chatted with him.
7
SPEAKER_00
I think what would be interesting about you two is that you re both in a very wonderful and cute way.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh God.
7
SPEAKER_02
What are you about to say?
7
SPEAKER_00
You want to figure it out?
7
SPEAKER_00
Like you re on it, right?
7
SPEAKER_00
There s therapy and there s some self-actualization going, which I like, but I almost wonder, I think at least what works about Kristen and I is we re watching a doc right now about a murderer and his friends don t want to turn him in.
7
SPEAKER_00
And she s like, how could these people not turn him in?
7
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, hun,
7
SPEAKER_00
If Aaron killed someone, I m not saying shit, but just we re opposites.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I think if both of us were like, yeah, let s help our friend bury a body.
7
SPEAKER_00
Not a great partnership.
7
SPEAKER_00
So I almost wonder if you two could be on this journey together.
7
SPEAKER_00
And at some point just look at each other and go like, Jesus Christ, we re both 85.
7
SPEAKER_00
One of us has to be insane.
7
SPEAKER_02
No, a hundred percent.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I think that even though I talk about the Buddhism and the therapy and the meditation, I do feel right now, especially I m in my era where I need to go out and have fun and have a good time.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s teenage time for me, for sure.
7
SPEAKER_02
I want to like almost black out, but not.
7
SPEAKER_02
Do you want to hang later?
7
SPEAKER_02
Cause I drink a lot of wine.
7
SPEAKER_02
I am actually not that into wine, it just makes me sleepy.
7
SPEAKER_02
But I will.
7
SPEAKER_01
Martinis?
7
SPEAKER_02
Yes, great.
7
SPEAKER_02
Okay, great.
7
SPEAKER_00
Perfect.
7
SPEAKER_00
Expresso.
7
SPEAKER_02
Exactly.
7
SPEAKER_02
Expresso with Camilla.
7
SPEAKER_00
With Camilla.
7
SPEAKER_00
Can we do a show with you that s called Expresso with Camilla?
7
SPEAKER_00
We ll change the spelling of your name, of course.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, sure.
7
SPEAKER_02
Camilla, my alter ego.
7
SPEAKER_00
I know you ll have two listeners, Lincoln and Delta.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I definitely think that s why I gravitate towards people and guys who are maybe a little bit more on the dangerous side.
7
SPEAKER_02
Because I don t want to take stuff too seriously.
7
SPEAKER_00
This is self-serving, but can I recommend a reformed bad boy?
7
SPEAKER_00
That s maybe the sweet spot for you.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I agree.
7
SPEAKER_01
Everyone wants that.
7
SPEAKER_01
And they re not very many.
7
SPEAKER_00
There s a lot of bad boys who are not reformed.
7
SPEAKER_01
They think they re reformed, but they re not.
7
SPEAKER_00
Right, right, right.
7
SPEAKER_00
They re so slippery, you know?
7
SPEAKER_02
No, the pool is shallow nowadays, for sure.
7
SPEAKER_00
Alright, so what we have coming is CXOXO.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
But that s mid-June-ish.
7
SPEAKER_00
You ll have to explain the strategy of all this stuff to me.
7
SPEAKER_00
Because you release singles leading up to it.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I love it, of course, is Out Already.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I listened to it 12 times this morning.
7
SPEAKER_01
Did you?
7
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
7
SPEAKER_01
For fun or for research?
7
SPEAKER_00
Well, I listened to it once for research.
7
SPEAKER_00
And then I was like, I m gonna keep listening to this song.
7
SPEAKER_02
Were you working out?
7
SPEAKER_02
I feel like it s a good workout song.
7
SPEAKER_00
And then I watched the video, and I love the video.
7
SPEAKER_02
Thank you.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s almost like a mini episode of Euphoria, just in its tone.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, totally.
7
SPEAKER_02
There was a lot of Euphoria visual references for the album.
7
SPEAKER_02
I guess this is all just a ploy to relive my teenage years in the way that I want.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and it feels very Miami, too.
7
SPEAKER_00
Like, I don t know what your childhood is, but it s almost like a Miami version of Euphoria.
7
SPEAKER_02
Right now, I m deep in rehearsal times, so I actually can t drink and go out that much.
7
SPEAKER_02
But when I am in Miami, those are my favorite nights, when I get dressed up with my friends and we go dancing.
7
SPEAKER_00
I love Miami.
7
SPEAKER_00
People try to shit on it, like it s cheesy.
7
SPEAKER_00
What do people say?
7
SPEAKER_00
Those people are allergic to a great fucking time.
7
SPEAKER_02
Literally.
7
SPEAKER_00
Because that s probably the only place I go where I actually can kind of touch what it felt like to be drunk.
7
SPEAKER_00
Sober.
7
SPEAKER_00
I can buy into the whole thing.
7
SPEAKER_02
Can wear a Speedo.
7
SPEAKER_00
Get my yellow Speedo.
7
SPEAKER_00
And then I love going out to these restaurants where it s like, everyone s on a runway.
7
SPEAKER_00
Everyone s swinging for the fences.
7
SPEAKER_02
Everybody s like trying to be on vacation, but it s their home.
7
SPEAKER_02
I love this quote that s like, on the other side of cringe is everything you want.
7
SPEAKER_00
Ooh, I like that.
7
SPEAKER_00
Good, because you know, my big trigger word is cringe.
7
SPEAKER_00
I hate when people use that word.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s such a snobby word.
7
SPEAKER_00
It is.
7
SPEAKER_00
They re going like, I m embarrassed for you.
7
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you.
7
SPEAKER_00
Why don t you go try to do something for yourself?
7
SPEAKER_02
I feel like I made myself cringe.
7
SPEAKER_00
I know when they write that, that s a comment people write on posts.
7
SPEAKER_02
Miami is the best though.
7
SPEAKER_02
And it feels like it s not in the United States because of the, is this a word confluence?
7
SPEAKER_02
Confluence.
7
SPEAKER_00
I feel like that s not a word.
7
SPEAKER_00
No, it s word.
7
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s like the merging of two things.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yes, the merging of the Latin people and the people from the Caribbean.
7
SPEAKER_02
And there s so many different cultures.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s such a melting pot.
7
SPEAKER_02
Most Uber drivers will only speak Spanish.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s vibe city.
7
SPEAKER_02
The energy there feels just way more relaxed.
7
SPEAKER_02
Speaking of my family story, everybody there has the same.
7
SPEAKER_02
So everybody fucking moved when they were six years old and their parents are from like this South American place.
7
SPEAKER_02
And so it s a bunch of kind of misfits in that way.
7
SPEAKER_02
Junkyard dogs.
7
SPEAKER_02
Exactly.
7
SPEAKER_02
Mutts.
7
SPEAKER_02
Scrappers.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I love it.
7
SPEAKER_02
Me too.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so when I watch the video, I m like, oh, sign me up.
7
SPEAKER_00
I want a whole month there.
7
SPEAKER_00
In that weird house, drive the moped through, let s fuck shit up.
7
SPEAKER_00
Cops should be called at some point.
7
SPEAKER_00
Let s go.
7
SPEAKER_02
100% some Spring Breakers vibes.
7
SPEAKER_00
Another great reference, Spring Breakers.
7
SPEAKER_02
That s a big visual reference for the album too.
7
SPEAKER_02
Harmony Korine.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, Harmony Korine.
7
SPEAKER_02
I feel like this album is
8
SPEAKER_00
all about, which I feel like is why I love this show so much and why I love you guys so much, is I feel like you guys are not afraid to show the complexity, just the messiness of being human.
8
SPEAKER_00
You re like, I do this thing that s fucked up and couldn t make me the bad guy.
8
SPEAKER_00
I am the bad guy sometimes.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m also not.
8
SPEAKER_01
Sometimes, shockingly, I m the good guy.
8
SPEAKER_01
Shockingly.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
Can you believe it?
8
SPEAKER_00
Everyone s all of the things.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
I love it.
8
SPEAKER_01
Departure s too strong of a word, but there s an evolution here.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yep.
8
SPEAKER_01
And so this is where you need to educate me.
8
SPEAKER_01
I just don t know this world.
8
SPEAKER_01
I know movies and TV.
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh, wait.
8
SPEAKER_00
How was Phineas?
8
SPEAKER_00
Because I saw you guys on him.
8
SPEAKER_00
I haven t listened to his episode.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s a great episode.
8
SPEAKER_00
I will listen.
8
SPEAKER_01
He s phenomenal.
8
SPEAKER_01
I know he s the best.
8
SPEAKER_01
He s 26.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m sorry, what?
8
SPEAKER_00
I know.
8
SPEAKER_00
He s one of those people that makes me feel like I m fucking 12 years old when I talk to him.
8
SPEAKER_00
Me too.
8
SPEAKER_00
How are you so mature and have your shit sewed together?
8
SPEAKER_01
After the interview, had I no idea when he was born, I would go, well, he and I are definitely the same age.
8
SPEAKER_01
There s just no question.
8
SPEAKER_00
All these references.
8
SPEAKER_00
How old do I feel?
8
36.
8
SPEAKER_01
No way.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I feel like you feel like my age.
8
36.
8
SPEAKER_00
Wait, that s really cool.
8
SPEAKER_01
No, Phineas feels 48.
8
SPEAKER_01
Would you want to work with him?
8
SPEAKER_00
Yes, I actually have worked with him before.
8
SPEAKER_00
We made one of my favorite songs together, maybe like a couple albums ago.
8
SPEAKER_00
It was so fun.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s called Used to This.
8
SPEAKER_01
What was the process of working with him?
8
SPEAKER_01
Did you have to go to some unconventional space to make the music?
8
SPEAKER_00
We didn t go to his house.
8
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
8
SPEAKER_01
You weren t in his parents  bedroom?
8
SPEAKER_00
I wasn t in his parents  bedroom.
8
SPEAKER_00
I think it was one of the first times that I was seeing Sean and we wrote a song about it.
8
SPEAKER_00
Literally, it s one of my favorite songs.
8
SPEAKER_00
He s so good though, but I would love to make more music with him Do you feel like you got the experience?
8
SPEAKER_01
And again, this is all me watching the Billie Eilish.
8
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
8
SPEAKER_00
I haven t seen that.
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh you haven t It s so beautiful.
8
SPEAKER_00
She s really young, right?
8
SPEAKER_00
I mean, what are we talking about?
8
SPEAKER_00
She s still really young.
8
SPEAKER_00
I feel like musicians see things in like it was eight hairstyles ago
8
SPEAKER_00
Do you know what I mean?
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s probably right.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
What he appears to be doing in that doc, because I want to be fair to her, she s a beast.
8
SPEAKER_01
I admire her.
8
SPEAKER_01
She s awesome.
8
SPEAKER_01
But he had this most gentle, loving way of helping her pull these things out of herself.
8
SPEAKER_01
He s almost, in addition to being a music producer, he s like a incredible therapist.
8
SPEAKER_01
So did you get that?
8
SPEAKER_00
I did.
8
SPEAKER_00
And even in that album where I feel like I still hadn t found complete confidence as a songwriter, like the way I have for this last album, I think he was one of the first people to, I don t know, that was one of my favorite songs, lyrically, songwriting-wise of that album.
8
SPEAKER_00
Do you have producing partners that you re just like, we click every time?
8
SPEAKER_00
It changes.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s kind of like sometimes you really get along with somebody and then two years later you re like, I don t feel anything.
8
SPEAKER_00
I think it s smart to mix it up.
8
SPEAKER_00
You have to because it really is the stars align.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I ve had producers who I ve made a whole album with and then because it went so well, I tried to recreate it the next time.
8
SPEAKER_00
That s the danger, I think.
8
SPEAKER_00
And then we just didn t have that same chemistry.
8
SPEAKER_00
The expectations are too high.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you have to really be open.
8
SPEAKER_00
But what I was going to say about Phineas is it is really beautiful.
8
SPEAKER_00
He has such a loyalty for Billie, like he s always defending her.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh, he did it in the episode.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s amazing.
8
SPEAKER_01
It made me want to hug him.
8
SPEAKER_00
I love that.
8
SPEAKER_00
That s like one of my favorite qualities in people.
8
SPEAKER_01
Well, he s being like very polite about his own fame, right?
8
SPEAKER_01
I understand people are this, but then when it would get to how they treat her, he s like fucking rude and bullshit.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
8
SPEAKER_00
Big brother.
8
SPEAKER_00
I have a question.
8
SPEAKER_00
Am I 36 to you guys?
8
SPEAKER_00
Because my Buddhist meditation therapy stuff, like, do I feel like your skin looks terrible?
8
SPEAKER_00
Right.
8
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
8
SPEAKER_00
Visual.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s, well, I guess egocentrically, I got sober at 29.
8
SPEAKER_01
In two more years, I would have been making this decision, like, we gotta get our shit together.
8
SPEAKER_00
Right, right.
8
SPEAKER_01
So I put myself, when I m in at least group therapy, I m like 36, 7, when I m starting to understand, like, why I get mad.
8
SPEAKER_01
And then Buddhism was this January 1st resolution.
8
SPEAKER_00
Really?
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I hardly understand it, but with little I understand, I m like, oh my God, this is the greatest thing ever.
8
SPEAKER_01
When I was 27, I knew drinking was bad, but I didn t know.
8
SPEAKER_00
You re like, fuck it.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it was still fun.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, totally.
8
SPEAKER_01
Okay, but again, back to the evolution.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m curious.
8
SPEAKER_01
I guess I ve dealt with this as a comedian a little bit, which is you define a point of view and you define a voice.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
8
SPEAKER_01
But you want to evolve, but you don t want to alienate and you don t want to lose what s great.
8
SPEAKER_01
So how do you navigate that when you re like, I want to grow, but I don t want to lose?
8
SPEAKER_01
Is it scary or you don t even think about it?
8
SPEAKER_00
I don t think that much about losing the point of view that I have had because I m just really focused on whether this is great or not.
8
SPEAKER_00
And you know, I love it.
8
SPEAKER_00
There are other songs on the album that feels more like what I ve heard from her, like a similar perspective.
8
SPEAKER_00
But I think it s always going to feel like me because I ve been the one that s writing.
8
SPEAKER_00
So it s always going to have like a similar voice.
8
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I m not the same person now that I was two or three years ago.
8
SPEAKER_00
So my references have changed, the things that I liked have changed.
8
SPEAKER_00
There s so many habits that I feel like I picked up three years ago and now I m like, ew, I can t believe I did that.
8
SPEAKER_01
I wish I could remember the verbiage, but one of the reviews I read of I Love It is like, this signals a something pop.
8
SPEAKER_00
Hyperpop.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, what is hyperpop?
8
SPEAKER_00
Hyperpop is a genre.
8
SPEAKER_00
There s different artists like Charli XCX or Sophie or 100 Gecs.
8
SPEAKER_00
Not your sister.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, not my sister, which I feel like it sounds just like very futuristic pop, like high-pitched voices or really intense, crazy-sounding drums.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
8
SPEAKER_00
So I think this particular song is hyperpop.
8
SPEAKER_01
The tempo seems quicker as well.
8
SPEAKER_01
I would love to be in a club dancing to this song.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
8
SPEAKER_01
In fact, I specifically, and this is not a great thing to say, I specifically thought this fucking song would pair so well with MDMA.
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
This song was built for MDMA.
8
SPEAKER_00
Music to me is like, some songs make me feel like that.
8
SPEAKER_01
And you re in your adolescent phase, so it s like you want to be in a club feeling that feeling.
8
SPEAKER_00
My favorite things that I have done, like Havana or whatever, is when I m doing something that feels weird.
8
SPEAKER_00
That s my favorite.
8
SPEAKER_00
My ego thing or whatever is not if it s successful or not successful.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s more, is it basic and middle of the road or did I try something different?
8
SPEAKER_00
And if I tried something different, then I feel cool.
8
SPEAKER_00
And then I feel like I m the shit no matter what.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s like anything really in any movie or whatever you want to be on your toes.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
8
SPEAKER_01
Last question.
8
SPEAKER_01
This one s scary is how much do you worry about longevity or the future?
8
SPEAKER_01
One part of me is like, I would love to have Havana.
8
SPEAKER_01
Also, so scary to have Havana.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s like Tarantino directing Pulp Fiction as his second movie.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s a lot.
8
SPEAKER_01
And we deal with this a lot.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s an interesting thought of, could I just succeed mid-level and be happy?
8
SPEAKER_00
You re like, there s David Sedaris, then there s fucking Camila.
8
SPEAKER_00
Fuck.
8
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no, no, no.
8
SPEAKER_00
No.
8
SPEAKER_01
No, but like, it s a blessing and a curse to have achieved something so huge.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I just wonder, do you obsess a lot about the future and longevity?
8
SPEAKER_00
I think about it, and then I think my way of preparing for it is diversifying the things that I like to do and the things that I m knowledgeable about.
8
SPEAKER_00
Like, okay, once I don t have a fucking pop star face and body, I think it s smart to be like, this is temporary.
8
SPEAKER_00
Totally.
8
SPEAKER_00
After me, there s going to be, it already is, you know, you re the new kid on the block.
8
SPEAKER_00
Everybody s excited.
8
SPEAKER_00
Then it s like your fourth album and there s another person who s the new kid on the block and it ll still keep happening.
8
SPEAKER_00
But I think being like, okay, well, maybe when I m, I don t know, in my fifties or something, I could put together soundtracks for movies.
8
SPEAKER_00
I could do this.
8
SPEAKER_00
I could do that.
8
SPEAKER_01
Well, that s the innate and inherent issue is that to do what you ve done requires almost 100% time and focus.
8
SPEAKER_01
You can t really be building out these other sectors of your life.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s not the nature of a tour and writing an album.
8
SPEAKER_01
So it s like, when would we dedicate the time to have a real pickleball passion?
8
SPEAKER_01
Because time doesn t allow for that.
8
SPEAKER_00
But I think more and more now, there s people that are multi-hyphenates.
8
SPEAKER_00
Speaking of Charli XCX, you see that she s working on a soundtrack for this like A24 movie and she s also making an album.
8
SPEAKER_00
For me, it s like that feels like a more interesting life because you can also be so in your bubble.
8
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it s like you were an actor, you were in movies, and right now you re not a director yet.
8
SPEAKER_00
You re living a few different lives in one, which I feel like is so much more fun.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, just for me, I get bored easy.
8
SPEAKER_01
Me too, I do too.
8
SPEAKER_01
This was a party.
8
SPEAKER_01
I had high expectations, but this quadrupled them.
8
SPEAKER_00
Really?
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, this was so fun.
8
SPEAKER_00
I had so much fun.
8
SPEAKER_00
I want to hang out.
8
SPEAKER_00
You are welcome to hang out.
8
SPEAKER_00
Really?
8
SPEAKER_00
Do you really mean that?
8
SPEAKER_01
Yes, I really mean that.
8
SPEAKER_00
Okay, well, I would love to have dinner.
8
SPEAKER_01
We can have- You guys can get fucked up.
8
SPEAKER_01
Let s get fucked up.
8
SPEAKER_01
I ll drive everyone, so I m the dad.
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, yes.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
8
SPEAKER_00
I would love that.
8
SPEAKER_01
And then I ll cry when I get home.
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh, to that Gwyneth quote?
8
SPEAKER_00
That one Gwyneth quote?
8
SPEAKER_00
Yes, yes, yes.
8
SPEAKER_00
I had so much fun.
8
SPEAKER_00
Thank you so much for having me.
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh, thanks for coming on.
8
SPEAKER_01
It was really, really, really, really fun.
8
SPEAKER_00
I love you guys.
8
SPEAKER_01
And Expresso came up.
8
SPEAKER_01
It was like in the stars, the fact that Expresso came up.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, crazy.
8
SPEAKER_01
I loved it, and you re always welcome back.
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, next time you re in town, let us know.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
Camila returns?
8
SPEAKER_01
Yes, the return of Camila.
8
SPEAKER_00
You could be like the David Sedaris.
8
SPEAKER_00
No, but I want to come also and just hang out, because I feel like we would all be such great friends.
8
SPEAKER_01
Okay, wonderful.
8
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
8
SPEAKER_01
All right.
8
SPEAKER_01
Well, first of all, everyone, listen to I Love It right now, and then watch the video.
8
SPEAKER_01
The video s a 10 out of 10, and then fucking start counting down the days till mid-June when the whole album CXOXO comes out.
8
SPEAKER_01
Really?
8
SPEAKER_01
All right, I adore you.
8
SPEAKER_00
I adore you.
8
SPEAKER_01
One more visit and I m going to be saying I love you.
8
SPEAKER_00
I think that s how it feels.
8
SPEAKER_00
I adore you.
8
SPEAKER_00
I can t wait to come back.
8
SPEAKER_00
This was the best thing ever.
8
SPEAKER_00
I ve been excited about this for literally years.
8
SPEAKER_01
Hi there, this is Hermium Hermium.
8
SPEAKER_01
If you like that, you re going to love the fact check with Miss Monica.
8
SPEAKER_01
Okay, I m done chewing.
8
Okay.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I m doing the Finding Your Roots this Friday.
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s so fun.
9
SPEAKER_01
Friend of the pod, Henry Louis Gates.
9
SPEAKER_00
What does everyone call him?
9
SPEAKER_00
Everyone calls him Skippy.
9
SPEAKER_01
Skippy.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
I just wanna know about the shepherd side of my family.
9
SPEAKER_00
Like I already, I ve heard so much about the Lebeau side.
9
SPEAKER_00
My uncle already did like a big genealogy thing.
9
SPEAKER_00
I know all this lore.
9
SPEAKER_00
Some of the family members were killed by Native Americans in Michigan.
9
SPEAKER_00
I don t know one thing about the haunchles and the shepherds.
9
SPEAKER_01
I thought you d been doing a lot of research.
9
SPEAKER_00
Other than my immediate uncle, so I know I murdered everyone.
9
SPEAKER_00
Right.
9
SPEAKER_00
I don t know anything above them.
9
SPEAKER_00
I don t know anything about the shepherds like Papa Bob.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that ll be fun.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
Are you nervous?
9
SPEAKER_00
I m mixed between like, nervous that they re gonna want me to cry at some point.
9
SPEAKER_00
I think that they expect you to cry.
9
SPEAKER_01
Don t feel obligated to do that.
9
SPEAKER_00
I just, it seems common that someone cries.
9
SPEAKER_00
Like he ll hit you with a piece of information that like, that s what I m nervous about.
9
SPEAKER_00
He s gonna be like, are you ready for this?
9
SPEAKER_00
And I m gonna find out, I m gonna be like,
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I mean, whatever.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s almost like Christmas present opening.
9
SPEAKER_01
Sure.
9
SPEAKER_00
I have a little anxiety that my reactions aren t gonna be the right ones.
9
SPEAKER_01
I get that.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
Whatever your reaction is.
9
SPEAKER_00
And then conversely, I am considering and open to the notion that I might start bawling for some weird reason.
9
SPEAKER_01
You might.
9
SPEAKER_00
That s interesting.
9
SPEAKER_00
To know you re gonna go do a show and you might just start crying in the middle of it.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s different than if you re an actor and you go and you know you have some scene.
9
SPEAKER_01
For sure.
9
SPEAKER_01
I do think most of the time if you anticipate it, you don t.
9
SPEAKER_01
Well, I don t anyway.
9
SPEAKER_01
If it s like, oh, this is gonna like be emotional, it normally isn t.
9
SPEAKER_00
And that s why I could see it actually hitting me, because I have no expectation of being emotional.
9
SPEAKER_00
As I ve told you and I told him, I m hardly, like, I don t feel any connection to the things people did before me.
9
SPEAKER_00
Like if learning my great, great, great grandfather was like a general in a war, I don t really care.
9
SPEAKER_00
I m like, that sounds like a storybook.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s true.
9
SPEAKER_01
Well, you ll find out.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
I mostly just want to know the gnarly stuff, as you know.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
I don t know about all the crooks and the... Would you want to find out you had saints in your family or criminals?
9
SPEAKER_01
I m kind of with you on I don t care.
9
SPEAKER_00
Right, if someone was a great leader of freedom in India.
9
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I guess I d be like, oh, that s cool.
9
SPEAKER_01
That I m linked somehow to that.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
But I wouldn t feel guilty if I was linked to something bad.
9
SPEAKER_00
No, not at all.
9
SPEAKER_01
I don t feel connected to that.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s more interesting to be honest.
9
SPEAKER_01
But it s interesting, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
And I have no one to call.
9
SPEAKER_00
Well, I could call my uncle Randy on the Shepherd side, but everyone s gone.
9
SPEAKER_00
So I would call my brother, but I know he doesn t give a fuck either.
9
SPEAKER_00
I know I m gonna call him and be like, you re not gonna believe this, but Papa Bob s a great, great grandpa, and I ll have lost him already at that point.
9
SPEAKER_00
I m my brother.
9
SPEAKER_00
My brother never calls me, right?
9
SPEAKER_00
We text.
9
SPEAKER_00
We talk so infrequently on the phone.
9
SPEAKER_00
And he called me, must have been Friday night.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, we were watching the documentary about Immaculate Heart.
9
SPEAKER_00
There s a documentary called Rebel Heart.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s about the nuns who broke away from the archdiocese.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, they were pretty kick ass.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s a pretty good doc.
9
SPEAKER_00
And we re watching it and then my phone rings and it s my brother and it s late.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s like 10 o clock at night or nine o clock at night.
9
SPEAKER_00
So of course my first thought is my mother has passed.
9
SPEAKER_00
What else would you think?
9
SPEAKER_00
He doesn t call me and it s night.
9
SPEAKER_00
So I like, I like,
9
SPEAKER_00
leave the room.
9
SPEAKER_00
I m like, hello?
9
SPEAKER_00
And he goes, is that pickleball post, like, is that real or did you get paid to say you liked it?
9
SPEAKER_00
Do you really like it?
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
9
SPEAKER_00
Totally reasonable question.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
And I go, oh no, no, no, no one paid me.
9
SPEAKER_00
I did it and I love it.
9
SPEAKER_00
And he goes, oh my God, this is great.
9
SPEAKER_00
I ve been thinking about doing it.
9
SPEAKER_00
I ve been trying to talk Tammy into doing it.
9
SPEAKER_00
And now, and did Kristen like it?
9
SPEAKER_00
I m like, yeah, she liked it too.
9
SPEAKER_00
And he s like, okay, great, I m gonna do it.
9
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna order all this shit.
9
SPEAKER_00
And it was just all about pickleball.
9
SPEAKER_01
So he was just up late.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it wasn t too early.
9
SPEAKER_00
It was just like, yes, he probably was scrolling at 9 p.m., perhaps laying in bed, and he got really excited.
9
12.
9
SPEAKER_01
No, why 12?
9
SPEAKER_01
Aren t they?
9
SPEAKER_00
He s in Oregon.
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
No time change.
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
That makes more sense.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
So it was fun.
9
SPEAKER_00
I hope he gets into it and I m converting my driveway today into a pickleball court so he can visit and he and I can pickleball each other to death.
9
SPEAKER_01
That s so fun.
9
SPEAKER_00
Did you say you ve played yet?
9
SPEAKER_01
No, I ve been wanting to.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh fuck.
9
SPEAKER_00
Is it fun?
9
SPEAKER_01
I really want to learn.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, good.
9
SPEAKER_00
It takes 13 seconds to learn.
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh, good.
9
SPEAKER_00
The only hard part is the scoring system is so bonkers, but you get used to it.
9
SPEAKER_01
Fun.
9
SPEAKER_01
What part of the driveway?
9
SPEAKER_00
So I ll move the bus back and then I need 40 feet, 20 feet wide.
9
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_00
And I have it.
9
SPEAKER_01
Fun.
9
SPEAKER_00
So volleyball court in the grass and pickleball.
9
SPEAKER_00
It just turned into a sports complex.
9
SPEAKER_01
It really did.
9
SPEAKER_01
I have an update.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh.
9
SPEAKER_01
The place I went to maybe get Kybella and then I got all that skincare stuff.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah?
9
SPEAKER_01
That did not work for me.
9
SPEAKER_00
The skincare stuff?
9
SPEAKER_01
Yes, it backfired.
9
SPEAKER_00
It did?
9
SPEAKER_01
Badly, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
When?
9
SPEAKER_00
I missed that, because you didn t have a skin outbreak.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yes, I did and I still am, but I mean, I m wearing makeup, so it s less noticeable.
9
SPEAKER_01
I d been on the new regimen for like a week and bad.
9
SPEAKER_00
Really bad results.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, wow.
9
SPEAKER_01
So that whole excursion was not worth it.
9
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_01
It was bad.
9
SPEAKER_01
But you know what?
9
SPEAKER_01
You live and you learn.
9
SPEAKER_00
You try stuff, you try stuff.
9
SPEAKER_00
Some stuff works, some stuff doesn t.
9
SPEAKER_00
You keep trying.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s frustrating.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s a frustrating process.
9
SPEAKER_01
I am going to another place.
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
9
SPEAKER_01
tomorrow to just get another consultation.
9
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_01
About maybe some chin filler.
9
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_01
Or whatever.
9
SPEAKER_01
I just want to get their opinion.
9
SPEAKER_00
Sure, sure, sure.
9
SPEAKER_00
But you re, Kybella s done.
9
SPEAKER_00
You re not, that s off the table.
9
SPEAKER_01
Not 100%, but I m mostly done with it.
9
SPEAKER_00
The comments which you wouldn t read, they were a very mixed bag for people who have done it.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so I ll just leave it at that.
9
SPEAKER_00
I don t wish to disparage anything I don t know much about, but very mixed bag.
9
SPEAKER_00
Now some people loved it, but it was definitely not the kind of unanimity you would want before, you know.
9
SPEAKER_00
Like you don t ever hear people go, I hated my Botox.
9
SPEAKER_01
I have heard that.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you have?
9
SPEAKER_01
Yes, but only because if it s too much, you can look so stiff.
9
SPEAKER_00
Frozen.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
9
SPEAKER_00
Frozen face syndrome.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
FFS.
9
SPEAKER_01
So people don t like that.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but that s what you re gonna get.
9
SPEAKER_01
That s the worst case.
9
SPEAKER_00
And that can t be unexpected.
9
SPEAKER_00
That s how it works.
9
SPEAKER_00
You can t move your fucking forehead.
9
SPEAKER_01
I know, but if they do small amounts and in the right places, it can be fine.
9
SPEAKER_01
You can still have some movement and some expression.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s just not so many wrinkles.
9
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_01
But some people, it gets stuck.
9
SPEAKER_00
Like Bell s palsy.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
And one, I heard one story of someone, oh, maybe that was filler, but like it made their eye all droopy.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, wow.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
And then they just had the filler removed?
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it dissolved.
9
SPEAKER_00
And it went back to normal?
9
SPEAKER_01
I think so.
9
SPEAKER_01
That s the thing with filler is it can be dissolved.
9
SPEAKER_01
So I might try it, I might not, I don t know.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, they use, I think hyaluronic acid dissolves it.
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh, really?
9
SPEAKER_01
That s also what is used often in the filler.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, then maybe I got that wrong.
9
SPEAKER_00
Maybe it is hyaluronic acid.
9
SPEAKER_01
Sometimes it s hyaluronic acid in the lips.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, it is.
9
SPEAKER_01
That s a common, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_01
Anywho, and there s another place I wanna go to also for a consult.
9
SPEAKER_01
I wanna just like see- Sample all these places?
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, before I make any major decision.
9
SPEAKER_00
What s the other place offer?
9
SPEAKER_00
Something not- Same.
9
SPEAKER_00
All the same stuff.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I guess there s no one has like a totally unique approach to this.
9
SPEAKER_00
There s like 10 or 12 products, I guess.
9
SPEAKER_01
Except in like Korea, they do all kinds of stuff.
9
SPEAKER_00
sophisticated stuff.
9
SPEAKER_01
Well, yeah, I was listening to this one podcast and this guy went there.
9
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if he got it or if he was thinking about getting like, it s called like tiny face.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, what happens with tiny face?
9
SPEAKER_01
They like make your face look tiny.
9
SPEAKER_00
They shrink your face?
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
I don t know about that.
9
SPEAKER_01
Can you look it up?
9
SPEAKER_01
Tiny face surgery.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, surgery.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s like plastic surgery.
9
SPEAKER_01
This is all technically plastic surgery.
9
SPEAKER_00
No, filler s not plastic surgery.
9
SPEAKER_00
You re right, it s not.
9
SPEAKER_01
But it s cosmetic... What would you call it?
9
SPEAKER_00
I don t know, because filler s non-surgical.
9
SPEAKER_00
Botox is non-surgical.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s non-surgical cosmetic surgery.
9
SPEAKER_00
Non-surgical cosmetic surgery.
9
SPEAKER_01
All I m seeing is stuff about...
10
SPEAKER_01
Someone nicknamed tiny getting plastic surgery on her face.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh, how did it turn out nice?
10
SPEAKER_01
Elegant, it s fine Hard to know we don t know about tiny Harris s plastics to make a tiny Harris s all I m getting results Yeah, me too.
10
SPEAKER_00
That s weird.
10
SPEAKER_00
Maybe it s not called that
10
SPEAKER_01
Sounds so scientific.
10
SPEAKER_00
I know.
10
SPEAKER_01
I m shocked it s not called that.
10
SPEAKER_00
It d be so crazy if it wasn t called that.
10
SPEAKER_00
Anyhow, so we shall see what happens.
10
SPEAKER_00
TBD.
10
SPEAKER_00
TBD on my face.
10
SPEAKER_01
When is that appointment?
10
SPEAKER_01
Tomorrow?
10
SPEAKER_00
Tomorrow afternoon.
10
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
10
SPEAKER_00
Speaking of faces, this is for Camila Cabello.
10
SPEAKER_00
She has a beautiful face.
10
SPEAKER_01
She has a lovely face.
10
SPEAKER_00
And we actually talk about being photogenic.
10
SPEAKER_00
She said she didn t really feel photogenic.
10
SPEAKER_00
And then we talked about having different sides of our faces that we like.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, she has a side, I do remember that.
10
SPEAKER_00
She has a side she likes.
10
SPEAKER_01
I have a side, you don t have a side, right?
10
SPEAKER_00
I do think one side is preferred, but not so extreme.
10
SPEAKER_00
Marginal.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I didn t say specifically in the episode, but my nose was broken in a fight and it is curved.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so one side does look much different than the other.
10
SPEAKER_00
I think my left side is better, I think.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think.
10
SPEAKER_01
My right side is preferable.
10
SPEAKER_01
Well, there you go.
10
SPEAKER_01
There it is.
10
SPEAKER_01
There you have it.
10
SPEAKER_00
Well, what was crazy, I m kind of nervous to say it, but none of this is negative.
10
SPEAKER_00
None of this is negative.
10
SPEAKER_00
So we hugged, we met, we hugged, and you know, she s friends with Liz, this is before you got up here, and so we were chatting.
10
SPEAKER_00
And it wasn t a perfume, but like, I smelled her, like her pheromones, I had a smell.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh, really?
10
SPEAKER_00
It was not negative, so that s why I want to be clear about that.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
10
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, what s, I know that smell.
10
SPEAKER_00
And then,
10
SPEAKER_00
Some minutes into the interview, I pinpointed the smell and it was from a friend of mine had that exact same smell and I was like, oh, it s this and then I looked at her face and she has the exact same face as that friend
10
SPEAKER_01
Interesting.
10
SPEAKER_01
Your friend, I know who you re talking about, she s of Italian descent, right?
10
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
10
SPEAKER_01
She s not Latina.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yes, but their features are the same.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wow.
10
SPEAKER_00
And their, I guess their expressions, the way their face moves was the same.
10
SPEAKER_00
And then they had the same smell and it was wild.
10
SPEAKER_00
I like really was in my head about it for some minutes.
10
SPEAKER_01
Well, you know, I have this opinion that there s way fewer versions of humans than we want to acknowledge.
10
SPEAKER_01
I meet people all the time that are almost carbon copies of other people.
10
SPEAKER_01
And then I was also even thinking of this.
10
SPEAKER_01
I was watching a woman, in fact, this morning after I dropped the kids off at school, I was watching her cross the street and she had such a specific face and look on her face.
10
SPEAKER_01
that I was like, I know what her personality is.
10
SPEAKER_01
I would bet my life on that I know what her personality is.
10
SPEAKER_01
And then I was thinking like, what direction does it go?
10
SPEAKER_01
Is it you have a face, you present to the world with this face, people treat you a certain way, it informs your personality.
10
SPEAKER_01
I hate to say it, but I feel pretty confident that I can predict people s personality pretty good when I look at their face.
10
SPEAKER_01
I generally know what s coming.
10
SPEAKER_01
And then you see all these copies of other people all over the place.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s true, but sometimes it ll surprise you.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yes, of course.
10
SPEAKER_00
And then that s fun.
10
SPEAKER_00
Like I find that to be so fun when someone s personality does not match my like- Preconceived notion.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
That is fun.
10
SPEAKER_00
But I agree with you.
10
SPEAKER_01
But even take like Zach Braff and I, we re not terribly dissimilar, even our personalities.
10
SPEAKER_00
That s true.
10
SPEAKER_01
You know?
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, interesting.
10
SPEAKER_00
I think you re right.
10
SPEAKER_01
I should have got out of the car and just said,
10
SPEAKER_01
Hi, how s it going?
10
SPEAKER_01
She went, oh, what?
10
SPEAKER_01
I m so sorry, I just wanted to chat with you for two seconds to confirm that you have the personality I think you had from looking at your face.
10
SPEAKER_01
No, I just, I wouldn t describe a personality as negative or positive.
10
SPEAKER_01
I just knew what it was gonna be.
10
SPEAKER_00
And what did you think?
10
SPEAKER_00
We don t know her, so it s fine.
10
SPEAKER_01
I d have to look at her again to really remember all the ways I knew she was.
10
SPEAKER_01
She had this little dog and the way she was walking across the street.
10
SPEAKER_01
I was like, she s not very friendly and she s a little bit princessy and she has a lot of products at home.
10
SPEAKER_01
Like she has so many products in her shower and stuff.
10
SPEAKER_01
And there s like some solitude.
10
SPEAKER_01
She s more of a solitary creature.
10
SPEAKER_01
And she likes to be in her apartment, like doing all these products and stuff.
10
SPEAKER_01
And she has this dog and I just, I could, you know, I could really see what- How old?
10
SPEAKER_01
The 30s.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh, was it me?
10
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no, no, it wasn t you.
10
SPEAKER_00
I like products.
10
SPEAKER_00
I know what you mean though.
10
SPEAKER_01
Like you meet a big guy, like a big blonde guy with like big shoulders and kind of like a little jowly, you know, like maybe like just jowly.
10
SPEAKER_01
Does that make sense?
10
SPEAKER_01
Kind of?
10
SPEAKER_01
I m like, oh, that guy s gonna be so friendly.
10
SPEAKER_01
I can just tell, and I know that guy is gonna be friendly.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s funny.
10
SPEAKER_00
I didn t.
10
SPEAKER_01
You didn t go there.
10
SPEAKER_00
I didn t go there.
10
SPEAKER_01
You re probably portraying a different big guy than me, yeah, with the kind of soft chin.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, probably.
10
SPEAKER_01
Like the other Kelsey brother.
10
SPEAKER_01
I don t know when he looks like a nav.
10
SPEAKER_01
He looks like that.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh, he does.
10
SPEAKER_01
And is he friendly?
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
Maybe that big, robust, manly chin.
10
SPEAKER_01
I feel like I know what s coming.
10
SPEAKER_00
But then this is the opposite of what we talked about last fact check with the podcast I was listening to and the voice and like my idea was so wrong.
10
SPEAKER_01
Well, but actually what s interesting is what we just talked about ding ding ding is if you change the general outline of your face.
10
SPEAKER_01
with some chin and jawline filler, there will potentially be a little bit of a mismatch, and then I ll be curious to see if your personality catches up with, yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
This is a social experiment.
10
SPEAKER_01
It is.
10
SPEAKER_01
I almost need you to do it now to see if we observe.
10
SPEAKER_01
I wonder.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
I saw someone like that not knowing it was him.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I have an idea of that person s personality, but it s not that they re friendly.
10
SPEAKER_01
He s also wearing a football jersey, so that s a little, you know, there s some, there s some built in like aggressiveness that you associate with the sport.
10
SPEAKER_00
I think if I see that person, I assume they played football at some point.
10
SPEAKER_01
You do?
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
What if they re wearing a peach collared shirt?
10
SPEAKER_00
Southern played football.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah, right.
10
SPEAKER_01
Southern, that is interesting.
10
SPEAKER_01
They definitely wear more colors in the South.
10
SPEAKER_01
I noticed that.
10
SPEAKER_00
And polos, polo shirts.
10
SPEAKER_01
They love their polos and their khakis.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, they do.
10
SPEAKER_01
And their colorful shirts.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, they sure do.
10
SPEAKER_01
Culture is hilarious.
10
SPEAKER_01
It is.
10
SPEAKER_01
You think everything s objective and it s just not.
10
SPEAKER_01
Nothing s objective.
10
SPEAKER_01
You think there s like,
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
Right.
10
SPEAKER_01
But I mean, you feel like it, you go like, like if I m here in LA, I go like, oh, that s kind of goofy to wear a peach and here it is, but it isn t innately goofy to wear a peach colored shirt.
10
SPEAKER_00
I agree.
10
SPEAKER_00
But also I think LA is kind of, one of the reasons I like it is I think you can wear whatever you want here.
10
SPEAKER_00
Like it does not matter.
10
SPEAKER_00
You can be so dressed up next to someone so casual.
10
SPEAKER_00
Everyone looks normal and fine.
10
SPEAKER_00
I like that about the city and it s unique to this city.
10
SPEAKER_01
Well, what I like even more specifically, and I have said this on here a few times, there s not a dress code for wealth.
10
SPEAKER_01
So there s not like a built-in status dress code.
10
SPEAKER_01
That s what I like the very most.
10
SPEAKER_01
Like in Michigan, if you climb the socioeconomic ladder, you go to polos, you go to khakis and the brands of the polos and the khakis change.
10
SPEAKER_01
Then you go to like, it s just, it s like so prescriptive.
10
SPEAKER_01
And it is a marker of your status.
10
SPEAKER_01
And I don t like dressing that way.
10
SPEAKER_01
So I like living in a city where you don t have to wear a certain outfit to.
10
SPEAKER_00
Well, because actually, I think here, what s prized is having your own style.
10
SPEAKER_00
Whatever that means, as long as it s you.
10
SPEAKER_00
And in some other places in the country, it s not that.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s like, yes, everyone needs to look kind of the same.
10
SPEAKER_00
Then that shows like a marker of where you are.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I was even thinking, I was somewhere and I was on my high horse about just the concept.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh, it was in India.
10
SPEAKER_01
Did I already say this?
10
SPEAKER_01
What?
10
SPEAKER_01
I was thinking about, we were in India and I had walked behind the hotel and it was just like this big trash heap all throughout the back of it.
10
SPEAKER_01
And I was just sitting there looking out and I was thinking about the fact that this is a palace that s very old.
10
SPEAKER_01
And I was thinking about the English being there.
10
SPEAKER_01
I was thinking about manners.
10
SPEAKER_01
And I was thinking, oh my God, I think I understand for the first time why manners even exist.
10
SPEAKER_01
I think for you to morally feel okay about going to a place and subjugating a group of people into doing basically slavery, you have to tell yourself you are higher on the hierarchy.
10
SPEAKER_01
But this is somehow natural and normal.
10
SPEAKER_01
And so, you have to start really defining a bunch of arbitrary things that are outward displays that you are, in fact, superior.
10
SPEAKER_01
We eat more civilized.
10
SPEAKER_01
We eat with our backup and we have our hand out.
11
SPEAKER_01
So I think all these customs, the customs go up and up and up and up as you climb this status ladder.
11
SPEAKER_01
And I think they re like bizarre symbols to justify why they re different.
11
SPEAKER_01
They re more civilized.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, for sure.
11
SPEAKER_02
It s like they re proving it s innate.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, just like, it s obvious that they re not civilized and we are.
11
SPEAKER_01
You can t just say that if you re all wearing the same clothes and eating the same way and there s really nothing to even point to.
11
SPEAKER_01
You ve got to kind of make up all this stuff to make yourself feel like, yeah, yeah, these people are like, A, they re happy to do this labor because that s what they would do anyways.
11
SPEAKER_01
They re like 200 years behind us.
11
SPEAKER_01
So this thing we re giving them, which sucks for us, is still an improvement for them because we re different.
11
SPEAKER_01
And this is the proof of it.
11
SPEAKER_01
We have collared shirts with buttons and whatever all this stuff is.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
I think I used to just think of it as like, oh, it evolved because people had discretionary income.
11
SPEAKER_01
They wanted.
11
SPEAKER_01
Display their status and of course that just evolved into more and more elaborate pageantry But I think there s a little something a little more deeper in that that it s like it s also a justification For why you don t have to clean your house and someone else does especially in a place where it s not black white Yes, if you can t ascribe race to it In fact, I was listening to this professor talk about that slavery is not unique at all to the US and our history with it
11
SPEAKER_01
the only thing that s unique about it is that it was race organized.
11
SPEAKER_01
Generally, it was just a foreign group of people, or it was a different religion.
11
SPEAKER_01
They were allowed to be enslaved.
11
SPEAKER_01
There are all these different ways that they re less human than you, and that really, race is a new one, relatively new.
11
SPEAKER_01
Like in Egypt, they had slaves, but they weren t different colored people.
11
SPEAKER_02
They were still indigenous to the, they didn t bring anyone over.
11
SPEAKER_01
They didn t bring anyone over.
11
SPEAKER_01
So they had to, they had to draw a different arbitrary line of why this group deserved to be doing all the labor and this one didn t.
11
SPEAKER_01
So it had to be like a religion or something.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that s, I mean, that s the caste system.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I think it might even have been in a caste document, I don t know.
11
SPEAKER_01
The Americans didn t need to do any other shit because they were just white.
11
SPEAKER_01
That was their, like the explanation stopped there.
11
SPEAKER_01
We re white and we re more,
11
SPEAKER_01
whatever, evolved or whatever they were saying.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
They didn t need to have the level of detail and manners and pageantry to, you know, that makes sense.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, but there s still manners here.
11
SPEAKER_02
Like the more wealthy you get, the more manners are expected.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
11
SPEAKER_02
And especially in certain parts of the country.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
But do you think it s deeper in the South?
11
SPEAKER_01
I feel like manners are a bigger thing.
11
SPEAKER_02
They re big in the South.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, they re really big in the South.
11
SPEAKER_01
And the way you talk to people is really big too.
11
SPEAKER_01
It s like, ma am and mister and all these different things.
11
SPEAKER_01
I think those, I have to feel like those are a bit vestigial of that whole period.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, probably.
11
SPEAKER_01
Like we have to display we re more civilized at all time or we re going to start having to acknowledge, no, we re all just people.
11
SPEAKER_01
And then this is nuts.
11
SPEAKER_02
I m so, so on manners.
11
SPEAKER_02
Well, I hate them.
11
SPEAKER_02
Well, there are things I like about certain manners.
11
SPEAKER_01
Like, I think- It was something you like.
11
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I think politeness is good.
11
SPEAKER_01
Well, that s civil, that s civility.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
I believe in civility, but what should be worn at a dinner table?
11
SPEAKER_01
No.
11
SPEAKER_01
Is crazy.
11
SPEAKER_01
I agree.
11
SPEAKER_01
It doesn t mean, what are we talking about?
11
SPEAKER_01
What side silverware s on, it s insanity.
11
SPEAKER_02
I agree, I agree, I agree with all that.
11
SPEAKER_01
Your hand, what hand you cut with, whether your napkin s on your lap or it s on the table.
11
SPEAKER_01
Now, there s like- I get that.
11
SPEAKER_01
Should you be burping really loud?
11
SPEAKER_01
Right.
11
SPEAKER_01
No, but that s because,
11
SPEAKER_01
it actually causes someone to lose their appetite around you because you re smelling food.
11
SPEAKER_02
How do you feel about chewing with your mouth open or closed?
11
SPEAKER_01
Totally fine.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it doesn t bother me either.
11
SPEAKER_01
No, and talking with your mouth open, I don t care.
11
SPEAKER_01
Now, if you have shit falling out of your mouth while you re talking, that s an issue.
11
SPEAKER_01
But just the activity of the mouth moving like this while I m talking.
11
SPEAKER_02
It s like we re eating.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
They re like, the natives chew like that.
11
SPEAKER_01
We re gonna learn to chew with our mouth closed.
11
SPEAKER_01
It s like so unnatural for us.
11
SPEAKER_01
No animal chews with its fucking mouth closed other than humans.
11
SPEAKER_02
That s really true.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
They re like, oh, look at these indigenous people.
11
SPEAKER_01
They re chewing with their mouth open.
11
SPEAKER_01
We re gonna force ourselves to keep our lips closed while we chew.
11
SPEAKER_01
It ll be totally unnatural, but we ll do it.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_02
Okay, I m looking up common table manners.
11
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_02
Chew with your mouth closed.
11
SPEAKER_02
Wait to eat.
11
SPEAKER_02
That is a manners thing.
11
SPEAKER_02
And I agree with that.
11
SPEAKER_02
Or I abide by that anyway.
11
SPEAKER_01
Well, what s interesting about this, I understand, again, it seems like civility, but there s nothing I hate worse than when I m someplace my thing hasn t come and people are waiting to eat because of me.
11
SPEAKER_01
I m like, eat.
11
SPEAKER_01
And they re like, no, it s so... And I m like, no, I m telling you, this is way worse for me.
11
SPEAKER_01
This favor you re doing me, I feel terrible no one s eating.
11
SPEAKER_01
You all got your food.
11
SPEAKER_01
It s just me that got it.
11
SPEAKER_01
We shouldn t all suffer because I didn t get mine.
11
SPEAKER_01
So I do reject that rule.
11
SPEAKER_02
Well, I reject it, but I think it s fine to have the dance of waiting and then you saying, no, everyone eat.
11
SPEAKER_02
And then, okay.
11
SPEAKER_01
That s fine.
11
SPEAKER_01
That s like opening a door for someone else.
11
SPEAKER_01
Right.
11
SPEAKER_02
I just think like it s acknowledging your food hasn t come yet and we ll do this together.
11
SPEAKER_01
But again, I think it s getting confused about what the actual value of the activity is.
11
SPEAKER_01
The value is all sitting in a circle together.
11
SPEAKER_01
Now, whether four of the people are chewing and three aren t and they re waiting, I think people get distracted by what the value is.
11
SPEAKER_01
Like, no, we all eat at the same time.
11
SPEAKER_01
Why?
11
SPEAKER_01
The thing that s special is we ve all gathered together and we re staring at each other in a circle.
11
SPEAKER_02
I think part of it, though, is that it s actually to prevent someone from being done very early so that the other person doesn t then feel like rushed to finish.
11
SPEAKER_01
But again, why would anyone feel rushed to finish?
11
SPEAKER_01
This would be another crazy thing.
11
SPEAKER_02
Well, I have, because I m a pretty slow eater, or I used to be a pretty slow eater.
11
SPEAKER_01
You feel people are like clamoring to get up and leave the table?
11
SPEAKER_02
Well, if they re finished with their food and 90% of my food left, I do think, oh, I should get a move on.
11
SPEAKER_01
No, okay, there s a manner I ll sign on to is just like, you don t dessert one person at the table while they finish.
11
SPEAKER_01
You know, you don t like balancing.
11
SPEAKER_01
I m going to watch TV that s taken too long.
11
SPEAKER_01
Now that, that to me is rude.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
Because you ve left someone alone.
11
SPEAKER_02
Oh, that s interesting.
11
SPEAKER_02
See, my family didn t have that.
11
SPEAKER_02
It was like, well, normally we didn t even eat all at the same time.
11
SPEAKER_02
We didn t eat together.
11
SPEAKER_02
But if we did.
11
SPEAKER_02
Everyone could bounce the second they re done eating.
11
SPEAKER_02
Kinda, yeah.
11
SPEAKER_02
Not now.
11
SPEAKER_02
That wouldn t happen now.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_02
because I think we care more about all talking, but when it was just like, let s just eat our food and be done, go back to whatever we were doing individually.
11
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_01
So uncivilized, no wonder the Brits were there.
11
SPEAKER_02
Exactly.
11
SPEAKER_02
Well, my dad does spill food out of his mouth all the time.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh God, I wouldn t mind at all.
11
SPEAKER_01
But I don t want him to belch really loud and stinkily.
11
SPEAKER_02
I don t either.
11
SPEAKER_01
And farting at the table shouldn t be done.
11
SPEAKER_02
No, but you ve done it.
11
SPEAKER_01
Of course, I paid for this place.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh God.
11
SPEAKER_02
Okay, do not stretch across the table.
11
SPEAKER_02
I stand behind that.
11
SPEAKER_01
What s that mean?
11
SPEAKER_02
I think it means don t.
11
SPEAKER_01
No, it means reach for something.
11
SPEAKER_02
Oh.
11
SPEAKER_01
Because that s another thing I think gets a little crazy, like waiting forever for someone to pass you something that you can reach.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
11
SPEAKER_01
That s a big no-no.
11
SPEAKER_01
I think you only need to do that if you can t reach it.
11
SPEAKER_01
Um, no, I think like, here s, here s when I would say that no.
11
SPEAKER_01
So there s someone to your right and you re going to reach over their plate, but not over it.
11
SPEAKER_01
You re going to reach in front of it and pass their plate.
11
SPEAKER_01
I think in that case, that was rude.
11
SPEAKER_01
You were supposed to ask them like, could you pass me the green beans?
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
But fucking grab it.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, watch yourself while you re doing it.
11
SPEAKER_01
It s like you ve just met your family or something.
11
SPEAKER_01
Everyone s tiptoeing around.
11
SPEAKER_02
This isn t for family.
11
SPEAKER_01
No, this is my stepdad who was like hellbent on the fucking thing.
11
SPEAKER_02
He was a control freak.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but that was pretty customary where I grew up.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I guess you re right.
11
SPEAKER_02
I guess you re right.
11
SPEAKER_01
Everyone was supposed to sit there and eat with good manners, because it s practice for when you re out in the world.
11
SPEAKER_02
Right, but I do think that is the goal.
11
SPEAKER_02
It is practice for when you re not with your family.
11
SPEAKER_01
But again, it s insane.
11
SPEAKER_01
It s like people don t think, like as people know, I permit some swearing in the house.
11
SPEAKER_01
But they know they can t swear at school and they re not stupid.
11
SPEAKER_01
I can explain to them, you re allowed to do this here and not there and they get it.
11
SPEAKER_01
So I could tell them, hey, when you re at your buddy s house, don t reach across with grandma to grab the mashed potatoes.
11
SPEAKER_01
It doesn t mean we have to practice that.
11
SPEAKER_02
I also don t care about the reaching.
11
SPEAKER_02
Proper placement of the napkin.
11
SPEAKER_02
Always drink from a glass.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, right.
11
SPEAKER_01
Like don t have a Coke can or a bottle of soda.
11
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I see.
11
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
11
SPEAKER_00
Carton.
11
SPEAKER_00
A pitcher of Kool-Aid and one guy s drinking a gallon of milk.
11
SPEAKER_02
I mean Anyone want coffee?
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, hand me that and then they just drink out of the pot No, yeah, this says avoid reaching
12
SPEAKER_00
So I think do not stretch across the table means like don t lay on the table It can t be a rule.
12
SPEAKER_00
No one no one has to be told not to lay I think I think some kids need to be told that elbows.
12
SPEAKER_00
That s a big one I know I know I agree.
12
SPEAKER_01
I don t care insanity.
12
SPEAKER_01
There s a posture thing probably
12
SPEAKER_00
But why do people care what people s posture is?
12
SPEAKER_01
Also, yes, I don t care if you re bananaed up, but that s between you and your back and your chiropractor.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, never blow on your food.
12
SPEAKER_00
I ve never heard that.
12
SPEAKER_00
You have to sometimes, it s too hot.
12
SPEAKER_01
Heaven forbid someone blows on their food.
12
SPEAKER_00
I know.
12
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, I agree that this is silly, but I do care about politeness.
12
SPEAKER_01
I m not even sure I fully sign on to politeness.
12
SPEAKER_00
Really?
12
SPEAKER_01
Because if you go to Sweden and you look at it through their eyes, I agree with them as well.
12
SPEAKER_01
Like it s insincere, it s pageantry, and it s not real.
12
SPEAKER_01
Like I told you, I met a kid that was a foreign exchange student in Georgia, and she was like,
12
SPEAKER_01
the amount of like, hey baby, how are you doing?
12
SPEAKER_01
What s your day?
12
SPEAKER_01
Have a great day.
12
SPEAKER_01
All this stuff.
12
SPEAKER_00
That s not politeness.
12
SPEAKER_01
Well, no, I think a lot of people would say that s being polite.
12
SPEAKER_00
I think maybe, I mean, that s like Southern hospitality friendly, but politeness is like, excuse me.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, thank you, please.
12
SPEAKER_00
Thank you, please.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that feels nice.
12
SPEAKER_00
I like that, absolutely.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, just respect.
12
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, over friendliness, no, I m not for that either.
12
SPEAKER_00
Or like fake friendliness.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so a couple of facts for her.
12
SPEAKER_00
Rations in Cuba, the vast majority of Cuban families rely for their food intake on the libretto de abasto simiento, which literally,
12
SPEAKER_00
means supplies booklet, distribution system, and stated on March 12th, 1962.
12
SPEAKER_00
The system establishes the rations each person is allowed to buy through the system and the frequency of supplies.
12
SPEAKER_01
He was a fascinating place to go to.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, you went there.
12
SPEAKER_01
I went there.
12
SPEAKER_01
It s a beautiful place.
12
SPEAKER_01
The people are radical.
12
SPEAKER_01
The food is awesome, for sure.
12
SPEAKER_01
But what is also obvious is the moment they went to communism,
12
SPEAKER_01
every single bit of maintenance stopped.
12
SPEAKER_01
It s just like they had money in the bank that capitalism built, and then they just drew from it every day for 70 years.
12
SPEAKER_01
Every building s crumbled, and there s just, the cars have not been updated.
12
SPEAKER_01
You just see, it s so physical and observable.
12
SPEAKER_00
What was she shooting there again?
12
SPEAKER_01
House of Lies.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay, adaptive coping versus maladaptive coping.
12
SPEAKER_00
This came up a few times.
12
SPEAKER_00
Adaptive coping characterizes a person who deals with stressors through personal growth, optimism, solution-focused actions, creativity, and flexibility.
12
SPEAKER_00
Different coping approaches.
12
SPEAKER_00
problem solving, reaching out for support, changing our expectations to better fit the situation, regulating stress-related emotions, taking actions to reduce stress, such as breathing techniques, changing the way we think about the stressor.
12
SPEAKER_00
OK.
12
SPEAKER_00
Now, maladaptive coping strategies may be more likely to be in the toolbox if there are overwhelming stressors or trauma, or if there was maltreatment neglect during childhood or exposure to emotional invalidation.
12
SPEAKER_00
These strategies provide temporary relief, but they don t address the problem.
12
SPEAKER_01
Cigarettes, booze, drugs, sex, food.
12
SPEAKER_00
Pretty much.
12
SPEAKER_00
Substance use, rumination, physical escape, mental escape through disassociation, numbing, excessive daydreaming, procrastination, self-injury, binge eating, risk-taking behavior, blame, self-blame, and self-criticism, avoidance, and safety behaviors.
12
SPEAKER_00
Behaviors that temporarily relieve anxiety but actually reinforce the perception that the stressor is a threat.
12
SPEAKER_01
Maladaptive.
12
Maladaptive.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay, Havana, you said, has the most streams of a solo female artist.
12
SPEAKER_01
That made me want to look up... Havana, ba-na-na.
12
SPEAKER_00
Good song.
12
SPEAKER_00
Want to look up the most streamed songs on Spotify.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay, number one.
12
SPEAKER_01
Of all time?
12
SPEAKER_00
Mm-hmm.
12
SPEAKER_00
Blinding Lights by The Weeknd is number one streamed.
12
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if I know that song.
12
SPEAKER_01
Blinding Lights.
12
SPEAKER_00
You just added a stream.
12
SPEAKER_01
You ve heard it.
12
SPEAKER_01
I think I thought this was like a British singer.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
He s not Canadian, is he?
12
SPEAKER_01
That s Drake.
12
SPEAKER_00
Drake is Canadian, yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
Have you been following Drake and Kendrick Lamar in a big dust up?
12
SPEAKER_00
No, what s happening?
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, they re both writing songs about each other.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh, boy.
12
SPEAKER_01
It s quite, it s overtaken.
12
SPEAKER_00
It s a beef?
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay, number two is Shape of You, Ed Sheeran, friend of the pod.
12
SPEAKER_00
Ah, yeah, yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
Three is Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi.
12
SPEAKER_01
Vince Giraldi, Vincent Giraldi, Peanuts.
12
SPEAKER_01
What s it called?
12
SPEAKER_00
Someone You Loved.
12
SPEAKER_01
Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I love this song.
12
SPEAKER_00
This song is number three most streamed songs of all time.
12
SPEAKER_01
I have a guess why.
12
SPEAKER_00
Is it a remake?
12
SPEAKER_01
That s a good question.
12
SPEAKER_01
But here s my theory on why it s third.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
12
SPEAKER_01
Because if you love a dance song, you like listen to it twice and you ve danced to it, then you move on to another dance song.
12
SPEAKER_01
When you re super sad and the song s hitting the right note, you hit it repeat and you listen to it like 350 times.
12
SPEAKER_00
Totally, yes, agreed.
12
SPEAKER_00
Four is Sunflower from Spider-Man Into the Universe.
12
SPEAKER_01
Is that Coldplay?
12
SPEAKER_00
No, it s Post Malone and Sway Lee.
12
SPEAKER_01
You sure about that?
12
SPEAKER_01
No.
12
SPEAKER_00
No, I m not.
12
SPEAKER_00
Then Starboy by The Weeknd and Daft Punk.
12
SPEAKER_01
Weeknd s big.
12
SPEAKER_01
I don t know anything about The Weeknd.
12
SPEAKER_00
Really?
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
Is he the one who had the HBO show that was?
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
Idol?
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
Six is As It Was by Harry Styles.
12
SPEAKER_00
Seven, One Dance, Drake, Wizkid, and Kyla.
12
SPEAKER_01
This now sounds like you re hosting the Billboard charts.
12
SPEAKER_01
You do a lot of different hosting gigs on here.
12
SPEAKER_01
I do.
12
SPEAKER_01
You were doing Best Cinematographer.
12
SPEAKER_01
No, you were doing Best Score for the Academy Awards recently.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yes, Hans Zimmer.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yes, Hans Zimmer, but now you re doing Billboard.
12
SPEAKER_00
Like Grammys?
12
SPEAKER_01
Grammys.
12
SPEAKER_01
This feels more Billboard to be honest with you.
12
SPEAKER_00
I have to work on it to get to Grammy status.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay, eight is Stay with Justin Bieber.
12
SPEAKER_00
Nine, Dance Monkey.
12
SPEAKER_00
Tones and I, and 10 Believer Imagine Dragons.
12
SPEAKER_00
I ll just do 10, but I have 100 on here.
12
SPEAKER_00
I thought that was, I was surprised.
12
SPEAKER_01
By that list?
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I don t know what I was expecting.
12
SPEAKER_00
Was there any women on there?
12
SPEAKER_00
There s no Taylor.
12
SPEAKER_00
Was there any women?
12
SPEAKER_01
No.
12
SPEAKER_01
None.
12
SPEAKER_00
I don t see, this is interesting because the first female solo artist I see on here is Dua Lipa, Don t Start Now.
12
SPEAKER_01
That makes sense.
12
SPEAKER_01
Billie Eilish, 17.
12
SPEAKER_01
I see 19, but that s with Khaled.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
So Dua Lipa is the first I see alone, solo, and that s at 22, so I don t see Havana.
12
SPEAKER_01
No, that was of that year.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh, of that year.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I said that when I said it.
12
SPEAKER_01
It was of that year, 2018.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay, I didn t, it wasn t clear to me that that s what you meant.
12
SPEAKER_00
I thought of all time.
12
SPEAKER_01
Oh, no, no, no, it was of that year.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you said you have an eight-year-old and an 11-year-old.
12
SPEAKER_01
I did.
12
SPEAKER_00
You have a nine year old and an 11 year old.
12
SPEAKER_01
And... Yeah, that s fine.
12
SPEAKER_01
It s weird when they re a year apart.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
Between December and April.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
They were nine and 10.
12
SPEAKER_01
So weird.
12
SPEAKER_01
And that feels weird.
12
SPEAKER_01
I don t know why I said eight.
12
SPEAKER_00
Well, whatever, you just made a mistake.
12
SPEAKER_00
I mean, you just made a mistake.
12
SPEAKER_01
You just said... You remember what my dad used to do?
12
SPEAKER_01
He was always off by a year or two.
12
SPEAKER_00
He made you older though, right?
12
SPEAKER_01
He made me younger.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh, really?
12
SPEAKER_01
Which is why it was so funny, because I already looked way too big for my real age.
12
SPEAKER_01
And then he would hit him with the fact that he was like, can you believe he s only 11?
12
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, 13.
12
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, 5 11 .
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
12
SPEAKER_01
And I think people would be concerned that I had acromegaly or something.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, sure.
12
SPEAKER_00
Sure.
13
SPEAKER_00
This little guy s only eight.
13
SPEAKER_00
I m smoking a cigarette with a mustache.
13
SPEAKER_01
Well, that s it for Camila.
13
SPEAKER_00
She was so fun.
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, she was.
13
SPEAKER_00
Genuine fan of the show, which makes it so fun for us.
13
SPEAKER_01
It really does.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_01
It s so flattering.
13
SPEAKER_00
It is.
13
SPEAKER_00
It s kind of the dream I had, because when you go to Stern, Stern has this upper hand where it s like anyone that goes there, they love the show.
13
SPEAKER_00
They want to do good on the show.
13
SPEAKER_00
I was excited that was my time on Stern.
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_00
And for a handful of the guests we ve had,
13
SPEAKER_00
It s kind of that, and I love being on that side of it.
13
SPEAKER_00
Stern must really enjoy that.
13
SPEAKER_01
I hope so.
13
SPEAKER_01
He should.
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_01
He should.
13
SPEAKER_01
It s a big feather in his cap.
13
SPEAKER_01
Something happened on Connections that I wanted to bring up.
13
SPEAKER_01
It wasn t, I don t think it was a wink, but- A side eye?
13
SPEAKER_01
There was something weird because, did we say something about Spanish?
13
SPEAKER_01
No.
13
SPEAKER_00
I mean, that s a big umbrella.
13
SPEAKER_01
When we were talking about connections and why not and to tell us.
13
SPEAKER_00
No.
13
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
13
SPEAKER_00
There was Spanish pronouns yesterday.
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but I thought maybe before that we had mentioned when we were going through like, be really obvious, say this.
13
SPEAKER_00
Do our initials.
13
SPEAKER_00
We didn t say that, but that would have been a good one.
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_01
I mean, today there was a car one.
13
SPEAKER_00
MLP, DRS.
13
SPEAKER_00
I hated it.
13
SPEAKER_01
I was proud of myself, I got that one at first.
13
SPEAKER_00
I hated it because I m been like waiting for a car thing.
13
I know.
13
SPEAKER_00
And then it was a dyslexia car thing.
13
SPEAKER_01
I know.
13
SPEAKER_01
She might ve been winking.
13
SPEAKER_00
That was a side eye.
13
SPEAKER_00
She mad dogged me.
13
SPEAKER_01
Or one of these.
13
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah, over it.
13
SPEAKER_01
She s over it.
13
SPEAKER_01
Oh gosh.
13
SPEAKER_01
All right, well that s it.
13
SPEAKER_00
Love you.
13
SPEAKER_01
I love you.
13
you