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SPEAKER_00
Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert.
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SPEAKER_00
I m Dax Shepard.
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SPEAKER_00
I m joined by Lily Padman.
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Hi.
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SPEAKER_00
Hi.
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SPEAKER_00
Very fun name to say today.
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SPEAKER_00
Camila Mendes.
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SPEAKER_00
It sounds good, doesn t it, Camila Mendes?
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SPEAKER_00
It sounds smooth.
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SPEAKER_03
She s great.
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SPEAKER_00
She s great.
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SPEAKER_00
But the name is also really nice.
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SPEAKER_00
Camila Mendes is an actor and producer.
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SPEAKER_00
She, of course, was in 26 seasons of Riverdale.
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SPEAKER_03
So many.
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SPEAKER_00
Due Revenge, Dangerous Lies, Palm Springs, The Perfect Date.
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SPEAKER_00
But she has a new movie out.
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SPEAKER_00
If you ve been on Prime recently, as we have, you certainly have seen it.
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SPEAKER_00
Upgraded.
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SPEAKER_00
Upgraded.
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SPEAKER_00
A new rom-com with Camila.
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SPEAKER_00
We had a party with Camilla.
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SPEAKER_03
This was a really fun time.
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SPEAKER_00
It was a very sweet one.
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SPEAKER_00
It reminded me of her best friend a little bit when she was here.
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SPEAKER_00
Lily Reinhart.
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SPEAKER_00
Yes.
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SPEAKER_00
We ve had a couple of younger actors on where I m nervous it s not gonna go well.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, also, ding, ding, ding, Easter egg.
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SPEAKER_00
Dr. Goose, if you ve heard me say Hollywood, wine o clock, this is the birth of that.
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SPEAKER_03
This is.
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SPEAKER_00
In fact, you know, this episode hadn t come out, but I commented on one of her posts and wrote Hollywood in all caps, wine o clock.
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SPEAKER_00
And I m like, there are so many people that are genuinely embarrassed for me.
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SPEAKER_03
And so confused.
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SPEAKER_00
Yes.
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SPEAKER_03
Also, if you heard us say pews, that s this episode as well.
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SPEAKER_03
We started a lot in this episode.
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SPEAKER_00
This is a fertile, fertile episode.
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SPEAKER_03
It was really, really fun.
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SPEAKER_00
And after you watch Upgraded and you fall in love with it, please also check her out in Musica on April 4th, also on Prime Video.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
She ll keep you busy on Prime Video.
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SPEAKER_03
Oh, yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
We love this.
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SPEAKER_00
Thanks for coming, Camilla.
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SPEAKER_03
Thanks for coming.
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SPEAKER_02
Hello!
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SPEAKER_02
Welcome!
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SPEAKER_02
It s so nice to meet you!
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SPEAKER_00
I m so sorry, traffic was really rough.
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SPEAKER_02
Oh my god, it s okay, I m chronically late.
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SPEAKER_01
You were early, you were very early.
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SPEAKER_00
You were early?
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SPEAKER_00
Fuck, so you ve really been waiting.
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SPEAKER_02
Are you a late person?
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SPEAKER_00
Well, Monica s probably not as good today.
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SPEAKER_01
No, you re not.
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SPEAKER_00
You re not.
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SPEAKER_00
Like, fashionably.
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SPEAKER_00
Not habitually.
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SPEAKER_00
Like, probably one in five.
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SPEAKER_00
You re not.
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SPEAKER_01
I mean, also, this doesn t count.
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SPEAKER_01
This is so weird, because it s like, the house.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
But normal life.
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SPEAKER_00
I ve never been, like, late to a lunch to meet an executive or anything.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, OK.
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SPEAKER_02
Good for you.
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SPEAKER_00
It s solely Rob s fault, though.
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SPEAKER_02
This particular is all is all Rob s fault.
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SPEAKER_02
Oh, no, you should have been the worst I m a Silver Lake girly.
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SPEAKER_02
Oh, I was gonna say what side of town are you over Lake?
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s racks.
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SPEAKER_02
I m moving to Studio City soon.
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SPEAKER_02
Oh, you re moving of my boyfriend So and he already lives and he and he has a yard, but I actually have a yard, too Not that I ever go out there.
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SPEAKER_00
Will you be keeping your home and renting it out?
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SPEAKER_02
I highly recommend my home and moving my mom into the oh, yeah, and what are you gonna charge her for rent?
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SPEAKER_01
Everyone s moving to Studio City.
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SPEAKER_00
Are you, well?
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SPEAKER_01
I mean, I m not.
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SPEAKER_00
Okay.
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SPEAKER_00
Don t worry.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Monica s building a house right there.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
I know.
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SPEAKER_01
I heard.
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SPEAKER_01
Okay.
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SPEAKER_00
You already know.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_02
For five years now.
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SPEAKER_02
What s your sweatshirt?
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SPEAKER_00
Boys gets head too.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
I told you a story about we traveled on Christmas day and I got into a real dust up with three construction workers and I was wearing this.
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SPEAKER_03
This past Christmas?
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SPEAKER_00
They wouldn t let me go down this road.
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SPEAKER_00
I had passed the terminal, so I was kind of panicked we were gonna miss the flight, and I really wanted to go down this road.
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SPEAKER_00
Camilla, you may enjoy this.
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SPEAKER_00
I m sure you ve had some experience with toxic males like myself, so.
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SPEAKER_00
Once I passed the terminal, and I m already very stressed going to the airport, and they got the whole family and we re traveling with the kids, it s just stressful.
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SPEAKER_00
And then so I pass it, I m like, fuck, by the way, I didn t pass it, they had shut down parking area seven, which is where I was supposed to park.
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SPEAKER_00
So now I m looping around.
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SPEAKER_00
It s Christmas Day, it s a fucking mess.
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SPEAKER_00
So now I m panicked.
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SPEAKER_00
I go to turn down the street, which I just watched someone turn down.
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SPEAKER_00
And immediately three construction workers step in front of the car, and it quickly escalates.
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SPEAKER_00
It s Christmas Day.
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SPEAKER_00
I m wearing this sweatshirt that says, boys get sad too.
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SPEAKER_00
You know, it gets heated as it can get with me.
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SPEAKER_03
This is like a movie that you re wearing that sweatshirt.
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SPEAKER_00
It is.
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SPEAKER_00
In fact, it s too silly for a movie.
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SPEAKER_00
You d be like, this is a cheap, cheap joke.
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SPEAKER_00
So yeah, it gets heated.
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SPEAKER_00
I m yelling, they re yelling, and then I drive away.
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SPEAKER_00
They win.
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SPEAKER_00
I surrender.
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SPEAKER_00
I m a piece of shit, but then also I m a bit self-aware.
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SPEAKER_00
I m like, these guys are gonna be telling the story like, this guy had a pink sweater on that said, boys get sad too, yet he was so aggressive.
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SPEAKER_00
This guy either was the wrong sweatshirt for him or
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SPEAKER_02
You need a red one that says boys get mad too.
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SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
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SPEAKER_00
It says boys like to fight each other.
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SPEAKER_00
Duh.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it was not the right outfit for that.
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SPEAKER_02
I love it.
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SPEAKER_00
I m going to guess, minimally, maybe you listened to Lily s episode.
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SPEAKER_00
Did you listen to Reinhardt?
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SPEAKER_00
Of course.
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SPEAKER_02
No, I was telling Monica, I m a Die Hard fan.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, it s so flattering.
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SPEAKER_02
I was telling her that when my publicist was walking me through all the press that we re doing to promote my movie, she s like, yeah, and then Dax Shepard.
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SPEAKER_02
I was like, what?
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SPEAKER_02
I freaked out.
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SPEAKER_02
She s like, is that the thing you get the most excited about?
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SPEAKER_00
I m like, yes.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
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SPEAKER_00
I m delighted.
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SPEAKER_00
I love this.
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SPEAKER_02
I m so happy to be here.
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SPEAKER_02
We re so happy to have you.
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SPEAKER_02
And it s the first podcast I ever started listening to.
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SPEAKER_02
Oh, it is?
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SPEAKER_02
Like, this got me into podcasts.
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SPEAKER_00
How long ago?
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SPEAKER_00
This is self-indulgent, but I hope to make something out of it.
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SPEAKER_02
I wasn t that early.
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SPEAKER_02
No, I was before Lily.
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SPEAKER_02
When Lily told me she was going on, I was like furious.
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SPEAKER_02
I m like, what?
0
SPEAKER_02
I m like, you get to do it first.
0
SPEAKER_02
I think I started during COVID because we were in Vancouver filming for 10 months at a time.
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SPEAKER_02
And I had an hour commute to work every day.
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SPEAKER_02
And back, I was like seeking something more than just music on the way to work.
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SPEAKER_02
And this was.
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SPEAKER_02
my introduction.
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SPEAKER_00
Well, it s enormously flattering.
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SPEAKER_00
And then also a curiosity stems from it.
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SPEAKER_00
And this is where it gets a little self-indulgent.
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SPEAKER_00
But Lily also liked it.
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SPEAKER_00
Nina really likes it.
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SPEAKER_00
I m just curious why the younger actors seem to like it.
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SPEAKER_00
And are we underserving them?
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SPEAKER_00
I guess is the ultimate question.
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SPEAKER_01
How old are you?
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SPEAKER_01
I m 29.
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SPEAKER_01
Okay, yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
I just feel like younger people are more evolved.
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SPEAKER_01
Even we had Jenna Ortega, and she s just already so evolved.
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SPEAKER_01
Absolutely.
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SPEAKER_01
That I think this is a draw.
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SPEAKER_02
Working in the industry when you re young makes you grow up really fast.
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SPEAKER_00
And there s a new crop.
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SPEAKER_00
Your generation is speaking about things.
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SPEAKER_00
The musicians are acknowledging their addicts in their songs, right?
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, totally.
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SPEAKER_02
There s an openness.
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SPEAKER_00
Sam Mendes, you share a last name with.
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SPEAKER_00
He was on, I m like, this guy feels like he s- Sean, Sean.
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SPEAKER_00
Sam Mendes, he s a great director, but Shawn Mendes is the boy I m speaking of.
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SPEAKER_00
Great musician, Canadian.
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SPEAKER_00
But yeah, he felt like he was 30 years into therapy at 24.
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SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
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SPEAKER_00
This kind of your generation having some tools and some awareness and some willingness to, I guess, be vulnerable.
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SPEAKER_02
I think it s also a lot of people, like actors in the industry, have this thirst to dig deeper and get to know themselves and understand why they do the things they do.
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SPEAKER_02
But I also feel like I know tons of people who aren t creative people who don t have as much interest in going to therapy.
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SPEAKER_02
I just think maybe we see those people online a lot more, the ones that are very vocal and open.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
I think, too, though, you re right in that I feel like artists over-index.
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SPEAKER_00
I think that s why they re able to access emotions.
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SPEAKER_00
We just interviewed Juno Temple.
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SPEAKER_00
Did you watch Fargo season five yet?
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SPEAKER_02
I didn t.
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SPEAKER_02
We were just talking about it.
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SPEAKER_00
You guys covered everything.
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SPEAKER_00
I hope you were recording.
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SPEAKER_01
We already recorded the episode.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, we re done.
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SPEAKER_01
You have to watch it, it s so good.
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SPEAKER_01
I know.
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SPEAKER_00
It s a tour de force, insane kind of.
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SPEAKER_00
A tour de force.
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SPEAKER_00
Formals.
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SPEAKER_00
A tour de force, yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
A force majeure.
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SPEAKER_00
She can access some stuff pretty quick, and you don t have that when you want to on a set, and then the rest of your life you re like, no, I m as stable as they come.
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SPEAKER_02
I also think we were acting every day for 10 months.
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SPEAKER_02
We were in the habit of constantly emoting and digging deeper than the average person.
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SPEAKER_02
And also Riverdale is a show that was high drama all the time.
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SPEAKER_02
Every scene there s something like, we re always making this face and it s like, we re always brooding.
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SPEAKER_02
So I think when you re living that every day, you re wearing your heart on your sleeve constantly.
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SPEAKER_00
You re kind of raw and exposed.
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SPEAKER_00
Even reading about the fact that you guys did seven seasons, and you were doing 22 a year, you really don t even read that anymore.
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SPEAKER_02
No.
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SPEAKER_00
I think maybe one season of Parenthood we did 20 or something.
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SPEAKER_02
We re the last of its kind.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I don t— Like, I think it ends with Riverdale.
0
SPEAKER_02
That network teen show.
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SPEAKER_00
Right.
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SPEAKER_00
And a one-hour show, which means the hours are insane.
0
SPEAKER_00
What s an average day on that show?
0
SPEAKER_02
The earlier seasons were definitely longer, 16-hour days.
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SPEAKER_02
Then it was like 13-hour days.
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SPEAKER_02
That was the standard.
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SPEAKER_00
They kind of perfected the machine a little bit?
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, they kind of knew they couldn t get away with 22 episodes of 16-hour days.
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SPEAKER_00
And how many days were the episodes, seven or eight?
0
SPEAKER_02
Nine business days, and we d have two tandem days.
0
SPEAKER_00
Tell me about Tandem Days.
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SPEAKER_02
Tandem Days is when there s two units going on at the same time.
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SPEAKER_02
So as you re finishing one episode, you re also starting the next episode.
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SPEAKER_00
You re so young, but you re kind of like a grandma in this industry because you know what it s like to shoot 22 episodes a year.
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SPEAKER_00
Those hours.
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SPEAKER_02
It s like a boot camp.
0
SPEAKER_02
It s training.
0
SPEAKER_02
I feel like I can do anything now.
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SPEAKER_00
I m glad you feel that way.
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SPEAKER_00
Similarly, my very first movie, we were in New Zealand and we were shooting very long days and we were in water that was like 39 degrees and we were freezing all day long.
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SPEAKER_00
And it was incredibly hard.
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SPEAKER_00
I loved it.
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SPEAKER_00
Best experience of my life.
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SPEAKER_00
But everything after that has been easier.
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SPEAKER_00
And that s a very nice way to go.
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SPEAKER_00
The worst version would be like your first job s Modern Family.
0
SPEAKER_00
You re used to shooting six hours a day.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God, yeah, that s the dream.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then you join Riverdale.
1
SPEAKER_00
I know.
1
SPEAKER_02
And they got paid so much money.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, they made so much money.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, they sure did.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s funny you say that because I just did Jesse Tyler Ferguson s podcast.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
And it s hard not to think about how much money.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m like, we re chatting, chatting, chatting.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m fully connected.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then once in a while, I m like, yeah, three points of that show.
1
SPEAKER_02
You ll just doze off and think about it.
1
SPEAKER_00
of what a few points of that show is worth.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Are you ever distracted by that?
1
SPEAKER_00
Follow-up question.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
These other young actors I know of your ilk, you re unique and wonderful and special, so I m not diminishing that.
1
SPEAKER_00
No, no, I don t.
1
SPEAKER_00
But a lot of these younger actors I m friends with, they seem to know some billionaires.
1
SPEAKER_00
Do you know any billionaires?
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay, great.
1
SPEAKER_00
Wait, really?
1
SPEAKER_00
Have you been on a boat?
1
SPEAKER_00
This feels standard.
1
SPEAKER_02
What?
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
Why?
1
100%.
1
SPEAKER_02
I don t, wait, what?
1
SPEAKER_02
Too many.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, because all these people are young tech billionaires, right?
1
SPEAKER_00
And they want to hang out with people.
1
SPEAKER_02
That s the thing with billionaires.
1
SPEAKER_02
They just want to be cool.
1
SPEAKER_02
They want to have friends and they want to be liked.
1
SPEAKER_00
They want to be movie stars.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I know.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s the irony of all this life.
1
SPEAKER_01
Everyone just wants to be somebody else.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
But who s, you know, that s.
1
SPEAKER_00
We ll cut it out.
1
SPEAKER_00
By the way, we really cut everything out.
1
SPEAKER_00
We re not scandalous at all.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
You can say anything you want and we ll cut it out.
1
SPEAKER_01
Skip, skip, skip.
1
SPEAKER_00
OK.
1
SPEAKER_01
We ll ask you after.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
But the reason I m asking if you know them is do you find yourself distracted by it as well?
1
SPEAKER_00
Because even when we re interviewing like Brian Chesky, who started Airbnb, and I happen to know he has like $38 billion.
1
SPEAKER_02
I know him.
1
SPEAKER_00
Of course.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, he s dialed in.
1
SPEAKER_00
So every now and then when he s talking, it crosses my mind like, if he gave me a billion dollars, he wouldn t notice.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
What?
1
SPEAKER_01
That s crazy.
1
SPEAKER_00
Right.
1
SPEAKER_01
That someone could just give a billion and not even think about it?
1
SPEAKER_00
No, because they d be like, did I have 37 or 39?
1
SPEAKER_00
Whatever, I have a ton of billions.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, like at that point you can t even comprehend the difference.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s not even real anymore.
1
SPEAKER_02
No.
1
SPEAKER_02
Money is not real.
1
SPEAKER_02
No.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s just a concept.
1
SPEAKER_00
You re just mildly tracking it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Or we know Bill Gates.
1
SPEAKER_02
We know Bill Gates?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes, we ve interviewed him twice.
1
SPEAKER_00
He s flown to do a live show.
1
SPEAKER_02
He did this podcast?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, twice.
1
SPEAKER_00
I need to listen to that episode.
1
SPEAKER_00
He flew to Seattle to join us on a live show on a stage in front of 3,000 people.
1
SPEAKER_00
Obsessed.
1
SPEAKER_00
What a party animal.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
I couldn t believe it.
1
SPEAKER_02
Who do you get nervous interviewing?
1
SPEAKER_00
Great question.
1
SPEAKER_00
Letterman.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Hyper idols of mine, but more often it is Sapolsky, this genius professor who s written my favorite book.
1
SPEAKER_02
Like hyper intellectual people that you re like, I want to keep up with you and be on your level.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t want to be the dumb dyslexic kid.
1
SPEAKER_00
I really want them to think I m smart, which is a terrible motivation to have, but I have it.
1
SPEAKER_00
And maybe their topic is really dense too, so I ve got to research it and be able to have an understanding.
1
SPEAKER_00
You ve got to do your homework.
1
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
1
SPEAKER_00
So those tend to be the ones.
1
SPEAKER_00
Would you agree?
1
SPEAKER_00
Who do you get nervous around?
1
SPEAKER_00
Matt Damon?
1
SPEAKER_01
Obviously.
1
SPEAKER_01
Your childhood loves of your life.
1
SPEAKER_01
Your soulmates.
1
SPEAKER_00
Your twin flames.
1
SPEAKER_01
My twin flames.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
I ve been nervous a few times.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s probably the most.
1
SPEAKER_01
I think I was nervous for Letterman because I was nervous for Dax.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Nervous by proxy.
1
SPEAKER_01
It meant so much to him.
1
SPEAKER_01
This was such a big deal that I felt like, oh my gosh, I just hope this goes the way he wants it to go.
1
SPEAKER_00
Aw, that s sweet.
1
SPEAKER_00
GP made her nervous, I do recall.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh yeah, Gwyneth Paltrow.
1
SPEAKER_02
Gwyneth P. The goop entrepreneur.
1
SPEAKER_02
I m obsessed with Gwyneth Paltrow.
1
SPEAKER_00
Does she make you nervous?
1
SPEAKER_02
Have you seen her in real life?
1
SPEAKER_00
Do you feel like you ve got a tinkle when you think about interacting with her?
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_02
Maybe not.
1
SPEAKER_00
Can you think of someone who does make you?
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh yeah, I m sure I can.
1
SPEAKER_02
I m just terrible when people put me on the spot with things, so then 20 minutes from now, we ll be talking about something and I ll be like, oh, that s someone that would make me nervous.
1
SPEAKER_00
Perfect, and that is obviously, as you would know, the vibe of the show, so you re free to bring that up at any time.
1
SPEAKER_00
Did you have a childhood idol?
1
SPEAKER_02
Did you have a childhood?
1
SPEAKER_00
Have you ever been a child?
1
SPEAKER_02
Kind of a fair question.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, honestly.
1
SPEAKER_00
Did you have someone that you were like, that s the actor I want to be?
1
SPEAKER_00
Who was it?
1
SPEAKER_00
And have you met them?
1
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_02
It was Rachel Bilson from the OC because I loved that show as a teenager.
1
SPEAKER_02
I ve met her multiple times and I always tell her, she s like, no, I remember.
1
SPEAKER_02
But she s so sweet.
1
SPEAKER_02
She gave me her number.
1
SPEAKER_02
She s like, call me whenever, like if you want to chat.
1
SPEAKER_02
I was like, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Do you know Wabi Wab produces her podcast?
1
SPEAKER_02
You do?
1
SPEAKER_00
And he s often in the videos with her and he s a better actor than all of us.
1
SPEAKER_02
I was invited to go on the podcast, but I couldn t go cause I was filming, but I m like totally go now.
1
SPEAKER_01
Spinning out there.
1
SPEAKER_02
This is lovely.
1
SPEAKER_02
Camilla s only second podcast ever.
1
SPEAKER_02
I ve only done one before this.
1
SPEAKER_00
I listened to the other one.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay, homework.
1
SPEAKER_00
You were great.
1
SPEAKER_02
Thanks.
1
SPEAKER_02
She talks about mental health in a very casual, relatable way.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_02
Feels like you re just talking to like another girl.
1
SPEAKER_02
There s something really nice about that.
1
SPEAKER_00
And she s a teacher of some type?
1
SPEAKER_00
Because she was saying, oh no, I m getting confused.
1
SPEAKER_00
She was saying the students in her class were products of divorce at a rate of 80%.
1
SPEAKER_00
But I for a second thought she meant her own students, but now I m remembering she just meant her classmates.
1
SPEAKER_02
Maybe you re confusing it with me saying that I took a children of divorce class in college.
1
SPEAKER_00
That was when you were talking about it.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then she said that in her high school, 80% of the people she was in high school with felt high.
1
SPEAKER_02
That s a very good memory, Dex.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, thank you.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s pretty fresh.
1
SPEAKER_00
Don t get too excited.
1
SPEAKER_02
That s why he was late.
1
SPEAKER_02
He s like, divorce, got it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Can we go back to Charlottesville?
1
SPEAKER_00
Let s start in Charlottesville, Virginia.
1
SPEAKER_02
Well, I don t have much of a memory because I was like one when I moved out of Charlottesville.
1
SPEAKER_00
But didn t you move back?
1
SPEAKER_02
I did.
1
SPEAKER_02
Also for like a year.
1
SPEAKER_00
You lived 16 times?
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
So we share this in common.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yours were more dramatic.
1
SPEAKER_00
Charlottesville, Atlanta, Charlottesville, Brazil, Orlando, South Florida.
1
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
So when do your memories start of getting uprooted and how did you deal with it?
1
SPEAKER_02
I don t actually remember having a conversation about moving until I was like a preteen when we were leaving my neighborhood in fifth grade.
1
SPEAKER_02
I was devastated.
1
SPEAKER_02
But at that point, we were already in South Florida.
1
SPEAKER_02
So the move wasn t that drastic, but I was leaving the school.
1
SPEAKER_02
I was moving an hour away, but that was the hardest part was just saying goodbye to my friends.
1
SPEAKER_00
OK, here s a fun question.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s a Machine Gun Kelly one.
1
SPEAKER_00
What place do you say is home?
1
SPEAKER_00
Because I have a place I say that s home, but I was only there for three years.
1
SPEAKER_02
Miami and Fort Lauderdale, I d say.
1
SPEAKER_02
Just South Florida, really, because it s all kind of one big city.
1
SPEAKER_02
When I moved to South Florida in fifth grade, I was actually in Coral Springs, which is where Marjory Stoneman Douglas is, the school.
1
SPEAKER_02
with the shooter and everything.
1
SPEAKER_02
What s the vibe down there?
1
SPEAKER_02
My sister went to that school and she was like, she wasn t very happy there.
1
SPEAKER_02
She was older.
1
SPEAKER_02
I never went there.
1
SPEAKER_02
And then in sixth grade, I started at one school and I stayed there through senior year.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, so I stayed at the same school for that duration, which was like six years, even though I moved a lot while I was there.
1
SPEAKER_02
Like I stayed in one apartment that I moved in with my dad and my mom went to Brazil and then she came back and then I moved back in with her.
1
SPEAKER_02
There was a lot of long car rides, long bus rides.
1
SPEAKER_00
How did you entertain yourself?
1
SPEAKER_00
It was the radio?
1
SPEAKER_02
Music.
1
SPEAKER_00
Did you also love South Florida?
1
SPEAKER_00
Because obviously there s a huge Latino vibe there.
1
SPEAKER_00
You re finally like in a bump into some Brazilians probably.
1
SPEAKER_02
It took me so long to embrace my Brazilian culture when I was younger.
1
SPEAKER_02
I didn t wear it proudly for a long time.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah?
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
I m like still working on it.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
I was in the South for a lot of my childhood.
1
SPEAKER_02
And I know South Florida is still the South, but it s not.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s like Latin America.
1
SPEAKER_02
But in Georgia and Virginia, we had some family friends that were Brazilian, so I did have a little bit of that presence.
1
SPEAKER_02
But for the most part, all my friends were white Southern girls.
1
SPEAKER_02
And so I didn t ever really have anyone to share my cultural identity.
1
SPEAKER_00
I would even argue you re incentivized to not.
1
SPEAKER_02
Exactly.
1
SPEAKER_02
Also because guys didn t have a crush on me.
1
SPEAKER_02
I was like the unibrow, hairy girl.
1
SPEAKER_02
I remember there was a girl Sarah Korn her last name was Korn and she had the blondest of blonde hair with blue eyes and I was like if I were only Sarah Korn
1
SPEAKER_00
Shout out Shira Korn, I love you.
1
SPEAKER_00
Shira Korn.
1
SPEAKER_00
Shira Korn with me.
1
SPEAKER_00
Where in Atlanta were you?
1
SPEAKER_01
Alpharetta.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m from Duluth.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, cool.
1
SPEAKER_01
Literally neighbors.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t know what that is though.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s the same, essentially.
1
SPEAKER_01
Was Johns Creek a thing yet?
1
SPEAKER_01
Is that the school?
1
SPEAKER_01
Johns Creek is an area, but it s a piece of Alpharetta.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, okay.
1
SPEAKER_02
But then I remember my school was called something Creek.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s like big Creek, old Creek elementary, something like that.
1
SPEAKER_00
Chattahoochee Creek.
1
SPEAKER_02
A lot of creeks.
1
SPEAKER_02
I like Chattahoochee Elementary.
1
SPEAKER_02
Very, very close.
1
SPEAKER_00
Same thing.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so you were Indian and you were Brazilian.
1
SPEAKER_00
And both of your parents immigrated here.
1
SPEAKER_02
Exactly.
1
SPEAKER_02
Both of them together.
1
SPEAKER_00
At what age were they?
1
SPEAKER_02
I actually don t know.
1
SPEAKER_02
Because my dad went to college in Brasilia, but then went to University of Tokyo for grad school.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then my mom went with him.
1
SPEAKER_00
And what was his degree in?
1
SPEAKER_02
Mechanical engineering.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I m so horny for that.
1
SPEAKER_00
Guess what?
1
SPEAKER_00
Monica s father.
1
SPEAKER_02
Structural engineer.
1
SPEAKER_02
I think it s a big immigrant thing.
1
SPEAKER_02
It is.
1
SPEAKER_02
They love engineering over there.
1
SPEAKER_02
I have so many engineers in the family.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes, and I had two engineer stepdads, and at the risk of offending them, there s a vibe.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think if you re going to be already from a different culture, that s the dream environment.
1
SPEAKER_00
Because everyone s talking numbers, they re getting onto brass tacks.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s not sales.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s not public relations.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s not marketing.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s like you have a skill set that largely exists in math.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so the cultural differences are probably very much mitigated by the task at hand.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Also, just practically, I know for Indians, it was because that s how you could get a job here, engineering or computer science.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
If you want to work visa, that s the move.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you had to.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, my dad started in GE and then worked his way up really fast in GE.
2
SPEAKER_00
Very great company.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and that s why we were in Charlottesville, Virginia, because that s where GE was at the time.
2
SPEAKER_00
My father-in-law was just making a very hard sales pitch for me to check out the GE monogram series of ranges and ovens.
2
SPEAKER_00
He swears they re the best in the world, and this was a two-hour sales pitch.
2
SPEAKER_03
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_00
I ve never heard someone that loved a product more than if he loves his monogram series GE.
2
SPEAKER_00
You should try it.
2
SPEAKER_00
When we re pot committed, we got this ridiculously expensive French thing that I hate.
2
SPEAKER_02
What French thing?
2
SPEAKER_02
Dutch oven.
2
SPEAKER_02
We re not gonna disparage it.
2
SPEAKER_02
It is impossible to use.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m so glad you guys got it, because I would have bought it for my house, because it s gorgeous.
2
SPEAKER_02
What s the appeal?
2
SPEAKER_02
It s gorgeous.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s just beautiful.
2
SPEAKER_00
I ll give it that.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s the centerpiece of the house.
2
SPEAKER_00
Right.
2
SPEAKER_00
And it s astronomically expensive.
2
SPEAKER_00
And to light the burner, you have to hold it for 25, 30 seconds.
2
SPEAKER_03
I m too scared to use it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s dangerous.
2
SPEAKER_00
So the monogram by G, apparently very friendly.
2
SPEAKER_01
User friendly.
2
SPEAKER_00
Thank you so much.
2
SPEAKER_00
You re welcome.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m glad you come from this background.
2
SPEAKER_00
Did you ever go to work with that at GE?
2
SPEAKER_01
No, I didn t.
2
SPEAKER_00
Did he end up being like a manager of things?
2
SPEAKER_01
I m totally going to butcher his story, but I know that he quickly got promoted to higher positions and then eventually started working for a completely different company that had nothing to do with engineering.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he just became like a CEO.
2
SPEAKER_01
He like transferred over into corporate world in business.
2
SPEAKER_00
Is he a babe?
2
SPEAKER_00
Who of your parents is a babe?
2
SPEAKER_00
You re so objectively attractive.
2
SPEAKER_01
They re both objectively attractive, I d say.
2
SPEAKER_00
They are.
2
SPEAKER_00
I wanna see the mom.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m sure you do, Dad.
2
SPEAKER_00
I do.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, she would be so flirty with you.
2
SPEAKER_00
She s single.
2
SPEAKER_00
Let s get her on the FaceTime.
2
SPEAKER_01
And she s like a really bubbly personality.
2
SPEAKER_00
We re probably the same age.
2
SPEAKER_01
No.
2
SPEAKER_01
How old is she?
2
SPEAKER_01
She s 60 almost.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
No.
2
SPEAKER_01
She s gonna kill me for saying that.
2
SPEAKER_01
She s 59.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay, great.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, that s nothing.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s a 10-year gap.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m 49.
2
SPEAKER_00
Let s follow up on this.
2
SPEAKER_00
And what did she do and did they know each other in Brazil or did they meet here?
2
SPEAKER_01
They met when they were 14 in Brazil.
2
SPEAKER_01
So they were high school sweethearts who stayed together.
2
SPEAKER_01
She went to Japan with him when he graduated school and she was a housewife for most of her life.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then recently, you know, my parents divorced a long time ago.
2
SPEAKER_00
You were eight?
2
SPEAKER_01
Homework.
2
SPEAKER_01
Homework, dad.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s been done.
2
SPEAKER_00
The homework has been done.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I was eight years old and it wasn t until college that my mom started training to be a flight attendant.
2
SPEAKER_01
So now she s a flight attendant.
2
SPEAKER_01
Awesome.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, this would be the dream if I bump into her up at 30,000 feet.
2
SPEAKER_01
Maybe, if you travel American, she ll be there.
2
SPEAKER_00
She must tell people that you re her daughter.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah, no, she does.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like if anyone s watching my show, she ll be like, that s me.
2
SPEAKER_01
Good for her.
2
SPEAKER_02
How fun for her.
2
SPEAKER_01
I know.
2
SPEAKER_01
No, and she s like a celebrity at American Airlines.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like people know, they know that she s my mom.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
And she loves it.
2
SPEAKER_00
I love that for you.
2
SPEAKER_00
I would bump into her.
2
SPEAKER_00
So my mother, she had this business and it did public relations for General Motors and they would have these big events.
2
SPEAKER_00
One of them being GM would sponsor Sundance.
2
SPEAKER_00
So they would provide transportation for all the actors that were in town.
2
SPEAKER_00
My mother was there with her business and she was regularly driving.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I cannot tell you how many people I have bumped into.
2
SPEAKER_00
The years that were like, oh yeah, we haven t met, but your mom drove me in Sundance, and I heard all about.
2
SPEAKER_01
Why didn t she drive me in Sundance when I was there a few years ago?
2
SPEAKER_01
She probably did.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, I guess she d remember, because she would have told you she was your mom.
2
SPEAKER_00
But it s funny, because when I hear about your mom doing it, I love it.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I love it for her and you.
2
SPEAKER_00
But with my mom, I was a little embarrassed.
2
SPEAKER_01
She s basking in the attention.
2
SPEAKER_01
Good for her.
2
SPEAKER_00
Even parenthood, when I met Peter Krause.
2
SPEAKER_00
First thing he said to me is like, I know your mother really well.
2
SPEAKER_00
I rode with her three times in Sundance.
2
SPEAKER_00
She told me your whole story.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
2
SPEAKER_01
I have yet to have someone meet my mother before they meet me.
2
SPEAKER_00
I do wonder if I ve met her.
2
SPEAKER_01
Maybe.
2
SPEAKER_01
She has like gray hair.
2
SPEAKER_01
She let her natural hair grow out.
2
SPEAKER_01
She s like embracing aging.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think it s beautiful.
2
SPEAKER_01
Love that.
2
SPEAKER_01
She works first class cabin.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know how to say it in English.
2
SPEAKER_00
Say it in Portuguese, please.
2
SPEAKER_01
She s like chefe de cabine, which means cabin chief.
2
SPEAKER_01
maybe, or manager of the cabin.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like queen of the cabin.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, she s queen of the cabin.
2
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s the formal term.
2
SPEAKER_01
I love this for her.
2
SPEAKER_01
I love her.
2
SPEAKER_01
Queen of the cabin.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was going dictator of the cabin, but queen of the cabin is much better.
2
SPEAKER_00
And what s her route?
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, right now she s commuting from Arizona.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, she s about to live here.
2
SPEAKER_01
So she moved to LA, but it s really hard to transfer to the American Airlines base in LA.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s a highly desirable base.
2
SPEAKER_00
And tell me why.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because everyone wants to live in L.A.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, that would be my guess.
2
SPEAKER_00
But also, what s tricky is I imagine the salaries are based across the nation.
2
SPEAKER_01
But L.A.
2
SPEAKER_01
is just a lovely place to live for a lot of people.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
And if your daughter is Camila Mendes, you get a house.
2
SPEAKER_01
She was in Miami before, which was a great base.
2
SPEAKER_01
And she got like a lot of good flights going out of there, especially to Brazil.
2
SPEAKER_01
She was living with my sister for a long time.
2
SPEAKER_01
My sister finally moved out and is now living in Ireland with her husband.
2
SPEAKER_01
So my mom s an empty nester.
2
SPEAKER_01
She doesn t have a husband.
2
SPEAKER_01
She s like, why am I here in Florida when I could be in LA with my daughter?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
How old s your sister?
2
SPEAKER_01
She s 33.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so this is comforting because even though you were moving around a lot, you minimally had her.
2
SPEAKER_00
Are you guys tight?
2
SPEAKER_01
We re tight.
2
SPEAKER_01
We re both terrible at texting.
2
SPEAKER_01
We don t have that kind of dynamic where we are texting and calling all the time.
2
SPEAKER_01
But when I see her, we re like sharing tons of stories.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, we re super open with each other.
2
SPEAKER_00
But she s also four years older than you?
2
SPEAKER_01
I was starting high school when she went to college.
2
SPEAKER_00
Right.
2
SPEAKER_01
So like not around for most of my high school experience.
2
SPEAKER_00
Did you like her boyfriends?
2
SPEAKER_01
We have very different types.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
What s her type?
2
SPEAKER_01
She s like, my sister s a... No, it s fine.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know that she also has like... Maybe it s not.
2
SPEAKER_00
Maybe I just pressured you.
2
SPEAKER_00
It sounds like it s not.
2
SPEAKER_00
But I have an answer.
2
SPEAKER_00
I have an answer.
2
SPEAKER_00
And it s that she... Well, because I know your type, or at least I know who you re dating currently.
2
SPEAKER_00
Do you know my type?
2
SPEAKER_00
I think I do.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s all over the place though.
2
SPEAKER_01
No guy that I ve dated is the same, I feel.
2
SPEAKER_00
I bet you they have a quintessential quality that you re attracted to.
2
SPEAKER_01
Maybe.
2
SPEAKER_02
Let s talk about your sister s type first.
2
SPEAKER_01
Maybe some of them, but my sister s type.
2
SPEAKER_01
More importantly, my sister s type.
2
SPEAKER_01
I d say she likes a nerd because she s kind of nerdy herself.
2
SPEAKER_01
She s so fucking smart.
2
SPEAKER_01
My sister is a little genius and I feel like she needs someone who can keep up with her in that way.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I d say she likes more introverted, smart guys.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I like that about her.
2
SPEAKER_01
I love her.
2
SPEAKER_01
She was a gamer girl for a long time.
2
SPEAKER_01
She was like really good at League of Legends.
2
SPEAKER_01
She s in that world.
2
SPEAKER_00
Uh-huh.
2
SPEAKER_00
I got my arms around what I think she is and who she likes.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know everything about her.
2
SPEAKER_01
Who I like or my sister?
2
SPEAKER_00
Your sister.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh, okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
Because my fear was, you re gonna go like, who s my sister?
2
SPEAKER_00
And in your head, you re like, she likes dumb, dumb jocks.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then you re like, how am I gonna say this in a non-offensive way?
2
SPEAKER_00
But this was ideal.
2
SPEAKER_00
I love when girls like nerds.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
Nerds run the world.
2
SPEAKER_03
I love nerds.
2
SPEAKER_03
Billionaires.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, they re all nerds.
2
SPEAKER_00
Back to billionaires.
2
SPEAKER_03
They re all nerds.
2
SPEAKER_03
It all goes back to billionaires.
2
SPEAKER_01
Wait, so your type.
2
SPEAKER_01
Let s find a through line.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t think there is one.
2
SPEAKER_01
I really don t.
2
SPEAKER_01
Funny.
2
SPEAKER_01
Are they all funny?
2
SPEAKER_01
Definitely funny, but I ve dated non-funny guys.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, how boring.
2
SPEAKER_01
Didn t work out.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, no.
2
SPEAKER_01
If you can t make me laugh, it doesn t last.
2
SPEAKER_00
But your current boyfriend, Rudy?
2
SPEAKER_01
Very funny.
2
SPEAKER_00
Of course, successful as someone who s funny.
2
SPEAKER_01
Do you know her boyfriend?
2
SPEAKER_01
I know who he is.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay, back to eight.
2
SPEAKER_01
We were on something.
2
SPEAKER_00
We were talking about moving around a lot, and we were talking about what s home, and home is South Florida, Miami, Fort Lauderdale, and Georgia, kind of running from your Brazilian-ness.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that s what it was.
2
SPEAKER_01
Being in the theater department in high school, I could see how me being Latino was limiting.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so I would literally wear sunscreen all over my body in high school.
2
SPEAKER_01
Our school was kind of outdoors.
2
SPEAKER_01
It almost was like a campus.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I was always in the sun and I get tanned really easily.
2
SPEAKER_01
So then I was like,
2
SPEAKER_01
I need to wear constant sunscreen.
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, in a way, it s very good for your skin.
2
SPEAKER_01
It is good for your skin.
2
SPEAKER_01
You got ahead of the game.
2
SPEAKER_01
But it was motivated by a desire to have lighter skin.
2
SPEAKER_03
Did you think for a second when she said that about the sunscreen that she was trying to make her skin white?
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh, no, did you?
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh, wow.
2
SPEAKER_01
But also when I was a teenager, there weren t that many opportunities for Latina actresses.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I think this has changed a lot.
2
SPEAKER_01
Part of that has helped.
2
SPEAKER_01
I feel like I m so appreciative and I embrace my culture so much now.
2
SPEAKER_00
What was the year you lived in Brazil like and what city were you in?
2
SPEAKER_01
I was in Brasilia, which is the capital.
2
SPEAKER_01
I loved it.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was the first time I got to live close to my extended family and see them regularly.
2
SPEAKER_01
But Brasilia s not really a representation of Brazil, because it s so man-made.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s so new.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was built in the 60s.
2
SPEAKER_01
If you look at it from a bird s eye view, it s structured like an airplane.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s very organized.
2
SPEAKER_01
Every street is like block B, block G. There s not much charm to it.
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, there is to me because that s what I m familiar with.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I see the beauty in it.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I think it s so fascinating to have a city like that.
2
SPEAKER_01
I just think it s really interesting.
2
SPEAKER_00
Because it s modern, obviously.
2
SPEAKER_01
Very modern.
2
SPEAKER_00
And what age were you when you lived there?
2
SPEAKER_01
I was 10, 11.
2
SPEAKER_00
And obviously when you were there, I m assuming the people that lived there saw you as an American.
2
SPEAKER_01
I d say so.
2
SPEAKER_01
I went to the school called Escola Americana de Brasilia, which is an American school in Brasilia.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
So because Brasilia is the capital, everyone that went to that school, their dad or mom or whoever worked at the embassy, it was like an international school.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I was surrounded by people from all over the world.
2
SPEAKER_01
I didn t necessarily feel like a fish out of water there because everyone was a fish out of water.
2
SPEAKER_00
And how were you doing like moving around through the streets of Brasilia?
3
SPEAKER_01
Brasilia is so safe and chill.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s not like other cities in Brazil.
3
SPEAKER_00
Right, not like Rio de Janeiro.
3
SPEAKER_00
No.
3
SPEAKER_01
There s definitely still violence and things happen.
3
SPEAKER_00
And you already spoke Portuguese, I presume.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then this made my Portuguese stronger and better because then I was learning grammar and speaking it regularly.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I feel like now my level of Portuguese speaking is so much stronger.
3
SPEAKER_00
Two questions.
3
SPEAKER_00
Which do you prefer speaking?
3
SPEAKER_00
Like if you got to only speak one of the languages for the rest of your life and everyone be able to understand what you re saying, what would it be?
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I have to say English because it s such a universal language.
3
SPEAKER_00
But in this scenario on Painting, you re communicating with everyone.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
Then Portuguese.
3
SPEAKER_01
Absolutely.
3
SPEAKER_01
I love speaking Portuguese.
3
SPEAKER_01
Just my English is stronger.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_01
I feel more confident.
3
SPEAKER_01
I feel funnier in English.
3
SPEAKER_01
I feel like I m more myself in English.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t get to practice my Portuguese often enough.
3
SPEAKER_01
to feel like it s a representation of who I am when I speak.
3
SPEAKER_00
Because to me, it appears to be like if you gave me the choice between driving a Ferrari and a Land Rover.
3
SPEAKER_00
The musicality to the language.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, things are popping.
3
SPEAKER_00
There s a flow.
3
SPEAKER_00
I would way prefer to speak that.
3
SPEAKER_01
There s a lot more expression in Portuguese.
3
SPEAKER_01
There s a lot more emotion.
3
SPEAKER_01
Anytime me and my mom get in a fight and I m speaking in English, she s like, can you speak Portuguese, please?
3
SPEAKER_01
She s like, when you re speaking English, you sound like a robot.
3
SPEAKER_01
She s like, I feel like there s no emotion in your voice.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s crazy because I feel like there is.
3
SPEAKER_01
But when I m speaking in Portuguese, she feels like there s a warmth in the way that I speak that maybe when I m fighting in English, I don t have.
3
SPEAKER_00
Phonically it sounds more passionate, more romantic, more everything.
3
SPEAKER_01
Exactly, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Now I m dating Rudy and he is Brazilian, so for the first time ever I m dating someone who I can speak Portuguese with.
3
SPEAKER_01
And it s amazing because now there s like a whole side of me that was like dormant that I didn t get to bring out and show people.
3
SPEAKER_01
And now I get to share that with him and we make jokes in Portuguese all the time.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s like we have our own little language together.
3
SPEAKER_00
Monica s gonna erupt in flames with this question, but during the lovemaking we must be speaking Portuguese, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
Absolutely not
3
SPEAKER_01
No!
3
SPEAKER_01
Really?
3
SPEAKER_01
No.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
3
SPEAKER_01
Wouldn t you laugh?
3
SPEAKER_01
Doesn t that seem natural?
3
SPEAKER_01
It s still not my dominant language though, you know?
3
SPEAKER_00
It s a big swing.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t even know what I would say in Portuguese.
3
SPEAKER_01
Remember, I learned Portuguese from my family.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know what I would say.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, forget lovemaking.
3
SPEAKER_00
But how about like this when things are getting romantic and you guys are having a drink together in the evening, will it transition into Portuguese and that is more connected and more emotional?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, we speak Portuguese with each other a lot.
3
SPEAKER_00
OK, what percentage would we say?
3
SPEAKER_01
I ll be realistic.
3
SPEAKER_01
I ll say it s like 30 percent.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s great.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then incredibly, every time you re around people, you guys can openly gossip about people right in front of them.
3
SPEAKER_00
What a superpower for a couple to have.
3
SPEAKER_01
But it s also as soon as you do that, people kind of know you re there must be something you re hiding.
3
SPEAKER_00
You can feel it.
3
SPEAKER_02
Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know how, like, couples have a voice?
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, you have, like, the way that you speak when you re, like, being cute with each other.
3
SPEAKER_01
We switch to Portuguese when we do that.
3
SPEAKER_01
We have, like, an inside joke of speaking Portuguese, and in a way, it s kind of mocking our family in a loving way.
3
SPEAKER_01
We hear the way they speak to us, so we speak that way to each other as, like, an inside joke.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, because if you think about when you re in public with your partner, half of what you re doing is like connecting like, oh, my God, you hear that?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
You have a very specific look on your face.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s the nudge of the knee.
3
SPEAKER_00
So to have like a language you could actually articulate.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m proud of you because if you grew up.
3
SPEAKER_02
trying to stifle that part to now choose a partner where that s a big part of your life and to bring it back out and understand that it s okay.
3
SPEAKER_02
Totally.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s a big arc.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s like we can understand each other in ways I ve never felt understood, especially around family and the relationship to family.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think Americans
3
SPEAKER_01
have a lot of boundaries with family.
3
SPEAKER_01
I ve struggled in therapy to talk about this because Brazilian mothers, and you know, Rudy made a movie about this that s gonna come out, Musica, in April.
3
SPEAKER_01
And in the movie he talks about it has to do with having these overbearing Brazilian mothers who just love too hard.
3
SPEAKER_01
And that s very normal in Brazil.
3
SPEAKER_01
You re very attached to your family and therapists
3
SPEAKER_01
would be like, you got to draw the line.
3
SPEAKER_01
They really enforce the boundaries, but it doesn t work.
3
SPEAKER_00
It just doesn t work.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m like, but do you understand Brazilian families?
3
SPEAKER_01
This doesn t apply here.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I can t fight it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Resisting it is making it worse.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
They had a boundaries vaccine.
3
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
They re completely inoculated from boundaries.
3
SPEAKER_01
My mom was like, boundaries, boundaries are toxic.
3
SPEAKER_00
She might be right, by the way.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I think Rudy has helped me embrace that type of familial dynamic because he experiences it too when we can connect over that and make peace with it instead of fight it.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I bet there s so much more understanding for what each person s going through with their family and tolerance when the other person s feeling down.
3
SPEAKER_01
And helping each other exercise patience, you know.
3
SPEAKER_00
Was he born there or here?
3
SPEAKER_01
He was born in New Jersey.
3
SPEAKER_00
OK, great.
3
SPEAKER_00
And both of his parents also?
3
SPEAKER_01
His dad s Italian.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, wow.
3
SPEAKER_01
And his mom s Brazilian.
3
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, they both immigrated.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is a passion atomic bomb.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Wow, wow, wow.
3
SPEAKER_00
I want to see him fly off the handle or something.
3
SPEAKER_02
What s his type?
3
SPEAKER_02
Let s talk about his types now.
3
SPEAKER_00
A fire extinguisher?
3
SPEAKER_00
You just said something that was intriguing.
3
SPEAKER_01
She s proud of me?
3
SPEAKER_00
She is proud of you.
3
SPEAKER_00
Our very close friend, Ana, is Venezuelan.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I think we could stereotype here.
3
SPEAKER_00
The whole Latin family world is so much closer in, I think, a very enviable way.
3
SPEAKER_00
I think it d be a big pain in the ass at times, but overall, I think that s what a family should be.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s a support system.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s a community of people.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I m so envious of my family that lives there because when I go visit in Brazil and I see my family, they have the closest relationships and they see each other every weekend.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, there s such a family vibe there.
3
SPEAKER_01
Sometimes I m like, oh, I wish I had that.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, in COVID, Ana would get on these Zoom calls with like 16 members of her family.
3
SPEAKER_00
They d all get hammered.
3
SPEAKER_00
They d be on a Zoom call for like six hours.
3
SPEAKER_00
They d be partying together.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, fuck, that seems fun.
3
SPEAKER_02
And her girlfriend just went with her to Spain for a family wedding and she came back and she was like, I m so jealous of that.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like what happens when they re all together.
3
SPEAKER_02
I noticed that too, because I think it s a lot of places, not just Latin countries, but Indian families are like that too.
3
SPEAKER_02
Super tight and everyone s living with each other until they re old.
3
SPEAKER_02
I have distanced myself so much from it that I can see it from a bird s eye view.
3
SPEAKER_02
America is so closed off, family-wise.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, the WASP-y Protestant history, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
The English.
3
SPEAKER_00
We ll go to England.
3
SPEAKER_00
Everyone s still, like, so polite.
3
SPEAKER_01
It does feel crazy that you send your children off to college at 18.
3
SPEAKER_01
Sometimes I m like, 18-year-olds, they re so baby, and they re gonna go live by themselves.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s crazy.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I did it, I guess I m fine.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, that was my next question.
3
SPEAKER_00
How long before you got into Tisch, you went to NYU Tisch.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s where my wife went.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, really?
3
SPEAKER_00
I didn t know that.
3
SPEAKER_00
She did musical theater.
3
SPEAKER_01
Big fan of your wife.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, I ll pass that along to her.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m hoping some of these things still occurred there that I ve learned occurred while she was there.
3
SPEAKER_00
When did you set your sights on it and what was the fantasy?
3
SPEAKER_01
I had wanted to go there for a long time, but I also wanted to go to UCLA, but I didn t get in.
3
SPEAKER_00
I can t wait to report this to my wife, because we fight all the time.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because Dax went to UCLA.
3
SPEAKER_01
You went to UCLA.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s a very good school.
3
SPEAKER_01
Go Bruins.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I did a summer program there when I was 17, like an acting program.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, fun.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, I need to go to this school.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was so excited.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I recognized how difficult it was to get in, especially when you re not a California resident.
3
SPEAKER_00
And out of high school.
3
SPEAKER_00
I could have never got in out of high school.
3
SPEAKER_00
I transferred
3
SPEAKER_01
But I mean, I m glad I went to NYU because I got to study acting with a BFA and not a BA.
3
SPEAKER_01
The BA, I would have had a lot more gen eds.
3
SPEAKER_01
Even the amount of gen eds I had at NYU, I was like, I m over it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so if you do a BFA, you don t have to do all these prerequisite.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s a Bachelor of Fine Arts versus just a Bachelor of Arts.
3
SPEAKER_02
There s less of all the math and all the regular stuff you have to take.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it was more concentrated and I still had certain requirements, but not as much.
3
SPEAKER_01
NYU s a better school for liberal arts education.
3
SPEAKER_00
We love a liberal arts education.
3
SPEAKER_01
I remember I had gotten to Emerson on a full ride and my dad was really stoked about that.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then I got the NYU acceptance letter with no scholarship.
3
SPEAKER_02
And he s like, yay!
3
SPEAKER_02
I m so proud of you!
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you re killing me.
3
SPEAKER_02
God, that s an expensive high school.
3
SPEAKER_02
I know.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s insane.
3
SPEAKER_02
What is it?
3
SPEAKER_02
Like $40,000 or something?
3
SPEAKER_02
No.
3
SPEAKER_01
Try double that.
3
SPEAKER_02
A semester.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh, okay.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s probably like in the $120,000.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s $80,000 a year.
3
SPEAKER_02
Pretty much, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Do you know how much UCLA was in 2000?
3
SPEAKER_02
In state, you re saying in state.
3
SPEAKER_00
Obviously.
3
SPEAKER_00
How much was it?
3
$3,800.
3
SPEAKER_00
In state though.
3
SPEAKER_00
What?
3
$3,800.
3
SPEAKER_00
Are you kidding?
3
SPEAKER_00
I got a full degree from there for under $8,000.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s insane.
4
SPEAKER_01
If you were out of state, it would have been, I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_01
Do you remember how much it was out of state?
4
SPEAKER_00
It was significantly more, but I want to say it was in the like high twenties.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what it is now.
4
SPEAKER_01
It was a long time ago.
4
SPEAKER_00
Back when your mom and I were in college.
4
SPEAKER_00
What s her number?
4
SPEAKER_01
What s her type?
4
SPEAKER_00
She like white boys?
4
SPEAKER_00
Tall white boys?
4
SPEAKER_00
She does actually.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, well.
4
SPEAKER_00
I cannot wait to be on American Airlines flight and bump into her.
4
SPEAKER_00
I know I will be.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m willing it into my life.
4
SPEAKER_02
Just fly out of Phoenix next time.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m going to be up in that fucking right by the toilet where they hate when people congregate.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m going to be up there shooting the shit and giggling and laughing for the whole flight.
4
SPEAKER_00
People are going to be like, what is this guy doing?
4
SPEAKER_02
You re going to have Riverdale on the whole flight.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yes, I m going to make sure everyone- They re like, have you seen Gisele Mendes?
4
SPEAKER_00
I m glad for you that you didn t go to UCLA because I think if anyone ever has an excuse to live in New York for a moment of their life, fuck that education, fuck whatever.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m very envious of that.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m so happy I went to school there.
4
SPEAKER_00
Did you land and just go like, oh my God, this is my life.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m in a storybook.
4
SPEAKER_02
Especially coming from Miami because I already kind of had a little bit of a party phase at that time as I was graduating high school.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then I went to New York.
4
SPEAKER_02
I was like a kid in a candy store, but in a way that it was like destructive for the first year.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, good.
4
SPEAKER_00
I like to hear that.
4
SPEAKER_02
But then I got my shit together.
4
SPEAKER_01
Just because there were so many clubs and parties.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God.
4
SPEAKER_02
I lived it up freshman year.
4
SPEAKER_02
Because you could.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Big city.
4
SPEAKER_02
But I had acting classes to go to and I was like hungover.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, the bars close at 4 a.m.
4
SPEAKER_00
there.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
I wouldn t have lived if I lived there, actually, because just when I would go there to do press, it was almost life ending every time because it just never stops.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s so stimulating.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, it s so fun.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
Now here s the weird questions that I am most amused by my wife s education.
4
SPEAKER_00
She explained to me, we were walking down the street and she s like, Oh, I used to go to that building and do Alexander technique.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, what the fuck is the Alexander Technique?
4
SPEAKER_00
And she goes, I m surprised they allowed it.
4
SPEAKER_00
We were in our sweatpants and we would lay on top of each other and we would like breathe in each other s mouths.
4
SPEAKER_02
And like tremble, right?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes, and the boys would be erect.
4
SPEAKER_00
Of course, they re like 19 year old boys and they re laying on girls.
4
SPEAKER_00
Are they still teaching Alexander Technique?
4
SPEAKER_02
100% they are.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
4
SPEAKER_02
They love Alexander Technique.
4
SPEAKER_02
Walk us through what a normal class in Alexander— Well, okay, you know how NYU Tisch has different acting studios that you can go to?
4
SPEAKER_02
I don t, but I know there s a musical theater one.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m assuming your wife was in a musical theater.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yep.
4
SPEAKER_02
I was in one called Playwrights Horizons.
4
SPEAKER_02
So each studio had its own curriculum and they did things differently.
4
SPEAKER_02
I never had a straight Alexander Technique class, but we did dabble in it.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s part of any movement class.
4
SPEAKER_02
I feel like you learn Alexander Technique.
4
SPEAKER_00
You d gather in the morning and then the teacher would be like, all right, let s start moving.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I m pretty sure this was Alexander technique.
4
SPEAKER_02
My memory might be mistaken, but basically we would lie down and try to find the tremor in your body.
4
SPEAKER_02
You would try to find the push and pull.
4
SPEAKER_02
of your knee, you know what I mean?
4
SPEAKER_02
Where the sweet spot between and that would be how you release tension.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then like people start crying and laughing because it s like when we do it in our hips in certain areas and you d find the tremor there.
4
SPEAKER_00
Trauma would be released.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
And people would be like crying hysterically.
4
SPEAKER_01
I felt like people were making that up.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
A hundred percent.
4
SPEAKER_00
That was happening.
4
SPEAKER_01
People would cry and stuff in movement class.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you re saying you thought people were making that up?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, like, because I also did some acting.
4
SPEAKER_01
And in those classes, people would cry.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I, in my head, because I m a double Virgo, I didn t know it then, but I was.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was like, they re lying.
4
SPEAKER_01
They re forcing this to be.
4
SPEAKER_01
They re performing.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s a performance.
4
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
4
SPEAKER_00
We re so similar in that way.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s like, if I m not experiencing it, it s not real.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
You re faking it, because if it were real, I d be experiencing it.
4
SPEAKER_02
But it s crazy, because it s $80,000 a year.
4
SPEAKER_02
For that.
4
SPEAKER_00
To have a good cry.
4
SPEAKER_02
And you re just like trembling on the floor in your sweatpants.
4
SPEAKER_02
And they re like, all right, good luck paying off your debt.
4
Exactly.
4
SPEAKER_00
You graduated from NYU?
4
SPEAKER_02
I did.
4
SPEAKER_02
And the timing was insane.
4
SPEAKER_02
So I finished classes a semester early, but then I wasn t going to graduate until May of 2016.
4
SPEAKER_02
Between me finishing classes and May 2016, I booked Riverdale and shot the pilot.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then we found out we were getting picked up a few weeks before I graduated.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then I had Yankee Stadium graduation up front, which is that thing that network TV does.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then Radio City Music Hall graduation for Tisch.
4
SPEAKER_02
Upfronts were perfectly sandwiched between the two.
4
SPEAKER_02
So I got to do all three and not have to sacrifice any of that.
4
SPEAKER_00
So clearly you had an agent while you were at college.
4
SPEAKER_00
How did you get called in for Riverdale?
4
SPEAKER_00
And they saw people in New York, obviously.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, they did.
4
SPEAKER_02
They were nationwide.
4
SPEAKER_02
It was crazy.
4
SPEAKER_02
I interned for a talent agency when I was a junior.
4
SPEAKER_02
Which one?
4
SPEAKER_02
A really, really small one.
4
SPEAKER_02
Carson Colker.
4
SPEAKER_00
Very trusted brand.
4
SPEAKER_02
They were really small.
4
SPEAKER_02
There was like three people in the office.
4
SPEAKER_00
And so would you submit yourself to things as you were working on a desk?
4
SPEAKER_02
No, but I started to get a lay of the land and I was like, oh, this is how it works.
4
SPEAKER_02
And these are the little breakdowns.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I would see the breakdowns and be like, I d be good for that.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I could play a 31 year old Jewish mom.
4
SPEAKER_00
When you re starting out, you can play anything.
4
SPEAKER_00
I could play 40, I could play 16, you name it.
4
SPEAKER_02
I snuck my way in there because I told the guy who was hiring me, I was like, yeah, I m really interested in the other side of the business.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then he brought me on and then I got to see how these things are run.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then at the end of my internship, I was like, hey, totally not a big deal.
4
SPEAKER_02
If you say no, all good.
4
SPEAKER_02
But would you be down to audition me?
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
And they were like, absolutely.
4
SPEAKER_02
Because at that point we d created a friendship.
4
SPEAKER_02
And so I auditioned for them and then that s how I
4
SPEAKER_00
And when you took that internship, if we re being fully honest now, was your intention to get represented by them?
4
SPEAKER_02
Honestly, no.
4
SPEAKER_02
I think I just needed experience.
4
SPEAKER_02
I was doing classes at NYU during the summer, and I wanted to also gain some work experience while I was there.
4
SPEAKER_02
It started off genuinely just me wanting to understand more about the business.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then as I was there, I was like, I wonder if they d sign me.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then I realized, you know what, I actually think maybe they would.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, I think if you re in the non-acting world, you might think, oh yeah, you get an agent.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then for me, I couldn t get an agent.
4
SPEAKER_00
I didn t get an agent for like four years.
4
SPEAKER_00
Finally, when I was performing at the Groundlings every Sunday, I finally got an agent.
4
SPEAKER_00
The agent was so bottom of the barrel.
4
SPEAKER_00
They literally went bankrupt while I was shooting the pilot of Punk d.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was like, where are my checks?
4
SPEAKER_00
Can I come get a hold of the woman?
4
SPEAKER_00
And then they were straight up chapter 11.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s who I was represented by.
4
SPEAKER_02
That s the benefit of school sometimes.
4
SPEAKER_02
They do like the showcases and also applying for a job or an internship.
4
SPEAKER_02
They re like, oh, NYU.
4
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_02
That s really what you re paying for.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s what the 80 grand a year gets you.
4
SPEAKER_02
Which is a leg up.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I also think if you met an Endeavor agent in a bar and said, look, I m about to spend $240,000 in NYU, I ll give you $180,000 to represent me.
4
SPEAKER_00
It might be cheaper.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s not a bad idea.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s not.
4
SPEAKER_00
I wonder if anyone s tried that.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m about to dump a quarter mil on this.
4
SPEAKER_00
Would you rep me for $100,000?
4
SPEAKER_00
God, I should have done that.
4
SPEAKER_00
I know, I just didn t have the 100 grand.
4
SPEAKER_02
We didn t think that one through.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, I had $3,800.
4
SPEAKER_00
What if I said, I m about to go to UCLA, but I ll give you $3,800 to represent me.
4
SPEAKER_01
I have a question.
4
SPEAKER_01
When did, because you said you didn t think you were pretty, or?
4
SPEAKER_00
And when did you realize you were a 10?
4
SPEAKER_01
Wait, wait, hang on, when did I say that?
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay, didn t you say that?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you said you re a big Una Brown, you re a Harry Monster.
4
SPEAKER_01
When I was in elementary school, yeah, for sure.
4
SPEAKER_01
And you felt like, oh gosh, there s all these Sarah
4
SPEAKER_01
Sarah Quarles of the world.
4
SPEAKER_00
Shout out to her.
4
SPEAKER_01
Sarah Quarles.
4
SPEAKER_01
She did it again.
4
SPEAKER_00
I can t say it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Could never be with her.
4
SPEAKER_01
But when did you realize?
4
SPEAKER_01
That I was pretty?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, really.
4
SPEAKER_00
That you were hot.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m curious.
4
SPEAKER_00
This is a hard question to answer, but we re forcing you to.
4
SPEAKER_02
No, no, no.
4
SPEAKER_02
I think I was in sixth grade because I started waxing my legs and my unibrow.
4
SPEAKER_02
You waxed your full leg?
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I started young.
4
SPEAKER_02
I had a lot of hair on my legs.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I had a full unibrow, like it was time.
4
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_02
They re kind of back though.
4
SPEAKER_02
No, a hundred percent.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Have you thought about, did you electrolysis it at this point?
4
SPEAKER_02
Like laser?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
No, not here.
4
SPEAKER_00
Do they call it that anymore?
4
SPEAKER_00
Laser.
4
SPEAKER_02
They call it laser electrolysis.
4
SPEAKER_00
Sorry, I m your mom s age.
4
SPEAKER_00
My gray hair is coming in, too.
4
SPEAKER_02
No, I actually was talking about that with someone the other day.
4
SPEAKER_02
I was like, maybe I should laser this, because I have to tweeze here constantly.
4
SPEAKER_02
Sure.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
And someone s like, why don t you just laser?
4
SPEAKER_02
And I was like, well, what if it comes back in style to have a unibrow?
4
SPEAKER_02
And they re like, Kimmy, that s not going to happen.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, not maybe full.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I don t believe that.
4
SPEAKER_00
I even noticed my good friend, Mae Whitman, she started kind of wearing her eyebrows where it was coming around more like Frieda.
4
SPEAKER_02
Carlo.
4
SPEAKER_00
Carlo.
4
SPEAKER_02
I just think my eyes are too close together that if I do that, it ll bring them in more.
4
SPEAKER_00
You ll look like a cyclops.
4
SPEAKER_02
I ll look a little cross-eyed.
4
SPEAKER_00
OK.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
And maybe you ll become cross-eyed because you ll start focusing on the hair that you can see.
4
SPEAKER_01
Unibrows, I feel really certain that in my lifetime they re not coming back.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t think so.
4
SPEAKER_01
A unibrow.
4
SPEAKER_01
Thick brows, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
And maybe like almost connecting but not connect.
4
SPEAKER_01
No, I don t think so.
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, this is a weird, weird story, you guys.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I was somehow at my family Christmas and there was a video camera running.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know how all this happened, but on the video camera, I was saying that I have been cursed with the family unibrow.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was in seventh grade.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was plucking mine in junior high or something.
5
SPEAKER_02
And I said this on this family cousin s video.
5
SPEAKER_02
This is the weirdest.
5
SPEAKER_02
I got a letter in the mail.
5
SPEAKER_02
Mind you also, this was nine towns over that my cousins lived.
5
SPEAKER_02
My cousin s friend saw that video and wrote me a letter that said, I have great compassion for a man with a unibrow.
5
SPEAKER_02
Compassion.
5
SPEAKER_02
It was a good forward.
5
SPEAKER_02
I got hit on in the mail.
5
SPEAKER_02
I got a letter.
5
SPEAKER_01
Wait, oh, he was hitting on you?
5
SPEAKER_01
She.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, she.
5
SPEAKER_00
I know, I heard mail and I thought mail.
5
SPEAKER_00
Me too.
5
SPEAKER_02
M-A-I-L.
5
SPEAKER_02
God, I wish I had that letter.
5
SPEAKER_02
And here s what happened.
5
SPEAKER_00
I love the word compassion.
5
SPEAKER_00
I know, that s such a odd.
5
SPEAKER_02
And I don t even know that that s what it was, but it was basically saying, I know you have a unibrow and I like it.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s how you interpreted it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Was the letter.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wow.
5
SPEAKER_01
And how old was she?
5
SPEAKER_02
My age, well, my cousin was my age.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I imagine her to be like 40.
5
SPEAKER_02
I would ve been down.
5
SPEAKER_02
Anyways, it was so complicated.
5
SPEAKER_02
I was flattered.
5
SPEAKER_02
I was so embarrassed someone knew I had a unibrow besides my family.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I couldn t- As if it wasn t on your face?
5
SPEAKER_00
I was plucking it.
5
SPEAKER_02
Oh, you re- Oh, oh.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_02
I didn t actually have one.
5
SPEAKER_02
So I was flattered and I wanted to be with her, but I was too embarrassed she knew.
5
SPEAKER_02
I couldn t start up a thing with someone that knew I had a unibro.
5
SPEAKER_00
This was my big secret.
5
SPEAKER_02
It was already out.
5
SPEAKER_02
And then this tremendous guilt that I wasn t rewarding her forwardness.
5
SPEAKER_02
This was such a brave thing for a seventh grade girl to do.
5
SPEAKER_02
I pray someone in the audience knows this person and just says, I ve always been in awe of your confidence.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m gonna add something.
5
SPEAKER_01
I feel like you didn t like her because in your head, you re like, well, she probably has a unibrow, which is why she likes it.
5
SPEAKER_01
I hate with that.
5
SPEAKER_01
I hate her.
5
SPEAKER_01
She s ugly.
5
SPEAKER_01
She s ugly.
5
SPEAKER_02
That is a very ungenerous assessment of what I was feeling.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m just saying, you are young and young people do this.
5
SPEAKER_02
But I just owned all four of my reactions, which is like deep flattery, deep embarrassment and shame, total admiration, and then major guilt that I didn t reward her forwardness with a reciprocation.
5
SPEAKER_01
And fear that she was so ugly.
5
SPEAKER_02
Shash a corn.
5
SPEAKER_02
Is that you, Chericorn?
5
SPEAKER_01
That was just made her way around.
5
SPEAKER_02
I only know one other person with your experience, really, and that s Ashton Kutcher.
5
SPEAKER_02
The first audition of his life was The 70s Show.
5
SPEAKER_02
And there s got to be pros and cons to it.
5
SPEAKER_02
Of course, as someone who it took forever to get employed, I was just jealous of that scenario.
5
SPEAKER_02
But at the same time,
5
SPEAKER_02
I now, in retrospect, am delighted.
5
SPEAKER_02
I had a whole real life here that I was miserable and not important, and I really am grateful that I had that struggle before.
5
SPEAKER_02
So I m curious for you, what were the pros and cons of it happening that immediately after school?
5
SPEAKER_00
I had been auditioning for a year, I guess, which I know isn t a long time in the grand scheme of things, but it s not like Riverdale was my first audition.
5
SPEAKER_00
It was just my first bite.
5
SPEAKER_02
And I didn t mean to say it that way.
5
SPEAKER_02
You were still in school.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s not like you had moved.
5
SPEAKER_00
I had the safety net of school.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, and you hadn t moved to another city and were sitting around, you know.
5
SPEAKER_00
I just got so lucky.
5
SPEAKER_00
The funny thing is, in college, in my acting classes, I had a teacher that would be like, you re going to play like a popular girl on a CW show one day.
5
SPEAKER_00
He would say that to me all the time.
5
SPEAKER_02
Were you offended by that comment?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I was actually.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yikes, you re a NYU tish.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but I thought it was also flattering because I m like, oh, there s a place for me in the industry.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m marketable.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I was like, what about an HBO show?
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, what about Breaking Bad?
5
SPEAKER_00
But he was right.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s a hard question.
5
SPEAKER_00
I haven t noticed that it s affected me in any serious, negative way.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s impossible to know.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I also just finished the show.
5
SPEAKER_02
And where did it shoot?
5
SPEAKER_00
Vancouver.
5
SPEAKER_02
Fuck.
5
SPEAKER_02
So I ve had a couple friends that were on shows that went a very long time there, and one of the people went mad.
5
SPEAKER_02
They left a very popular show and been offered a trillion dollars and just couldn t do it anymore.
5
SPEAKER_02
Not that Canada s an unpleasant place, but it s like, your life is on pause.
5
SPEAKER_02
You don t live there.
5
SPEAKER_02
You re not building a network that will go on.
5
SPEAKER_00
It has nothing to do with Canada.
5
SPEAKER_00
It has to do with being somewhere that isn t your home for 10 months out of a year for seven years.
5
SPEAKER_00
Also, it consumes you.
5
SPEAKER_00
Everything revolves around it.
5
SPEAKER_00
When you have time off and the things that you get to do in between, it s always like, okay, well, when are we back shooting this?
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay, and then that ends when?
5
SPEAKER_00
And you got invited to this event?
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay, let me clear it with production.
5
SPEAKER_00
Everything is always about
5
SPEAKER_02
trying to get back to L.A.
5
SPEAKER_02
for five minutes?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
So every decision in my life, I had to clear through the show.
5
SPEAKER_02
Here s a logistical question.
5
SPEAKER_02
Since you were living in New York and you got cast on a show that was shooting in Vancouver, there s really no incentive for you to move anywhere, I guess.
5
SPEAKER_02
When did you move to L.A. ?
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, there was an incentive because at least L.A.
5
SPEAKER_00
was closer to Vancouver than New York was.
5
SPEAKER_02
So did you immediately get an apartment when you got on that show out here?
5
SPEAKER_00
After season one, I got a place in L.A.
5
SPEAKER_00
Got an apartment for the time in between.
5
SPEAKER_02
Right, which was two months.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I would just get an Airbnb, furnished rental, and then... Cry.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, try to get other work and then go back.
5
SPEAKER_00
But that s another thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
A lot of us wanted to continue working on our time off because this was our only opportunity to do other things.
5
SPEAKER_02
To take this opportunity and make the most of it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and so you d go from 10 months to then two months on something else and then back.
5
SPEAKER_00
It was just this never-ending work cycle.
5
SPEAKER_02
You just didn t stop working for seven years.
5
SPEAKER_02
And here s another thing that happens up there.
5
SPEAKER_02
This is what would have killed me if I was ever young and on a show up there is you re not home.
5
SPEAKER_02
No one s looking.
5
SPEAKER_02
There s this weird anonymity you feel being in another city you don t live in.
5
SPEAKER_02
And I think you can get into more and more trouble.
5
SPEAKER_02
Like if you make a mess, it s like, eh, I don t live here.
5
SPEAKER_02
I m gonna go back to wherever.
5
SPEAKER_00
I guess that just wasn t my experience.
5
SPEAKER_02
You re not that type.
5
SPEAKER_00
No.
5
SPEAKER_00
Also, there s no time.
5
SPEAKER_00
There s no time to get in trouble.
5
SPEAKER_00
Were you witnessing it?
5
SPEAKER_00
I witnessed it.
5
SPEAKER_02
A lot of those actors get in big old trouble up there.
5
SPEAKER_02
Were you witnessing this at all?
5
SPEAKER_00
I did.
5
SPEAKER_02
You could see that that was happening.
5
SPEAKER_00
Totally.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s why I m grateful for having gone to NYU.
5
SPEAKER_00
Because I got to be a dumb young adult living in the city by myself.
5
SPEAKER_00
I went through that phase of growth then.
5
SPEAKER_00
So by the time I booked a job, I was like ready.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, because Monica, there s these legendary stories.
5
SPEAKER_02
What s the hotel everyone stays at?
5
SPEAKER_02
The London or something?
5
SPEAKER_02
The Slutton.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s called The Sutton.
5
SPEAKER_00
There you go.
5
SPEAKER_00
But people call it The Sutton.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s a fucking orgy of young actors.
5
SPEAKER_02
Everyone s bed hopping.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t think it s as hot as it used to be.
5
SPEAKER_00
It used to be such a vibe, but I don t think it s.
5
SPEAKER_02
They should have had like an in-house clinic, like in the lobby where you could go down and grab your penicillin shot, go to work, come back, fuck it all up again that next night.
5
SPEAKER_00
But did you live in a hotel?
5
SPEAKER_00
No, just for the pilot.
5
SPEAKER_00
Then we all got places.
5
SPEAKER_02
But some people stay at the Slutton for a while.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s good living if that s your vibe.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, there is like a residence side of it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Not residence, but more long term stays.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh boy.
5
SPEAKER_02
And also when it gets too dark, like you ve done too much carnage and you just move rooms.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s like a little reset.
5
SPEAKER_02
It really lends itself to it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Go into a different zone.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I gotta get on another floor of this hotel.
5
SPEAKER_02
I can t possibly get off on the eighth floor ever again with what I did in the elevator last night.
5
SPEAKER_02
Oh, God.
5
SPEAKER_00
But also, it s not like Vancouver s the rowdiest city either.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I guess it s what you make it.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s an enormously active drug world.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yes, that s very true.
5
SPEAKER_02
Gabor Mate s work was there.
5
SPEAKER_02
They got a lot of heroin epidemic style stuff.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s true.
5
SPEAKER_02
Did you end up owning a place there ever?
5
SPEAKER_00
No, because I just couldn t ever feel 100% that our show was going to get renewed.
5
SPEAKER_00
No matter how successful, I m like, anything could happen.
5
SPEAKER_02
Well, I know this is your disposition.
5
SPEAKER_02
I ve written down some quotes.
5
SPEAKER_02
I relate to you in this way.
5
SPEAKER_02
And I bet it s being divorced and constantly moving.
5
SPEAKER_02
And every time something s good, the shoe s going to drop, the shoe s going to drop.
5
SPEAKER_02
So even when things are good, it s like, did I peek?
5
SPEAKER_02
Is it over?
5
SPEAKER_02
So that s probably in the mix.
5
SPEAKER_02
Because of course, on the outside, it s preposterous that you didn t think that show was going to get.
5
SPEAKER_02
It was the number one show on CW for seven years.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s like the people on Friends worry they re not going to get picked up next year.
5
SPEAKER_00
But it s just because network television was such a weird, it didn t feel like there was much longevity in that.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it was a very unstable period.
5
SPEAKER_00
It was literally during the transition of network television going down and streaming going up.
5
SPEAKER_00
So you just never know with these things.
5
SPEAKER_00
But you re right, I m very cautious when it comes to those kinds of decisions.
5
SPEAKER_02
Do you hoard your money?
5
SPEAKER_00
Not really.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t mind investing, but I m definitely on the conservative side of investing.
5
SPEAKER_00
I trust my dad a lot.
5
SPEAKER_02
Do you drive a flashy car?
5
SPEAKER_00
No.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I don t have a flashy home.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m not a flashy person.
5
SPEAKER_00
I like to act like I have less.
5
SPEAKER_02
That s the move.
5
SPEAKER_00
Not act in like a fake way.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I like to live my life to like the most that I m comfortable, but not exceeding that.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, for me, the elevation in comfort does not offset the loss of safety.
5
SPEAKER_02
I can t enjoy it unless I know I can own it several times over.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s what it is, is that I get afraid that if I get used to too nice of a lifestyle, then I ll have to upkeep that lifestyle forever because to lose it would be devastating.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_02
Monica will tell you, so our old house is like a thousand feet that way.
5
SPEAKER_02
And I actually got great pride out of the fact that I do think most people that came to visit us were like,
5
SPEAKER_02
Huh, I guess I expected a little bit more.
5
SPEAKER_02
I think there s a phase where it s like you want a really nice thing to impress people.
5
SPEAKER_02
And then this other weird thing happened to me where I was like, I was actually getting tremendous pride out of people coming over and being very disappointed in our house.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
I thought that was kind of gangster.
5
SPEAKER_00
I definitely feel that when people come to my house.
5
SPEAKER_02
I think there s a way to own that.
5
SPEAKER_02
And I actually started feeling cool about it.
5
SPEAKER_00
At the time when I bought my first home, I was like, I m 26.
5
SPEAKER_00
What business do I have having some nice ass home?
5
SPEAKER_00
You know, I m like, I kind of want to be in my 20s and just have a home that s right for me.
5
SPEAKER_02
Well, I had this really weird.
6
SPEAKER_00
dissonance between I ll remember I bought that house while I was still with my ex-girlfriend Brie and we went and slept there one night the remodel was about to start so there was no furnace it was cold there was no beds we like brought sleeping bags and we were laying in front of the fireplace and I was looking around I was like
6
SPEAKER_00
I didn t do enough, in my mind, manual labor.
6
SPEAKER_00
Where I m from and what I know about people at whatever age, I m like, I can t own this because I didn t really do enough work.
6
SPEAKER_00
I couldn t accept that it was mine.
6
SPEAKER_01
It was too bougie.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
I just was like, I didn t kill myself for... That house is not bougie.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s a great house.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s a beautiful house.
6
SPEAKER_00
But it s a 3,000-square-foot ranch on Los Feliz Boulevard.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s like you re not overwhelmed.
6
SPEAKER_02
But that s your hang-up about... Being fancy.
6
SPEAKER_02
Being fancy and what Michigan work is versus artsy work or whatever.
6
SPEAKER_00
This ridiculous work, yeah, yeah, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
But you definitely worked.
6
SPEAKER_02
It was a long time.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yes and no, Monica.
6
SPEAKER_00
I had been here for...
6
SPEAKER_00
I had been here a while, but really I bought the house in 2005 or 6 and I got punked in 2003.
6
SPEAKER_00
So really I went from a one bedroom apartment for a decade in Santa Monica to owning a pretty damn nice house within two years of working.
6
SPEAKER_00
I was like, this can t be real.
6
SPEAKER_01
It overwhelms me.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s overwhelming.
6
SPEAKER_01
I honestly don t want to live in like a big, big fancy house.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
Because I just feel like it s too much to think about.
6
SPEAKER_02
I have thought about this moment a few times.
6
SPEAKER_02
So I bought it in 2020.
6
SPEAKER_02
I told you that when you first got here, we did our episode first.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, the first part of this episode.
6
SPEAKER_02
And I m going to move in in 2025 and it s going to be gorgeous.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s going to be great.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s going to be great.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s a Nikki Kehoe.
6
SPEAKER_02
Nikki Kehoe is my designer.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s crazy.
6
SPEAKER_00
It ll take your breath away when it s done.
6
SPEAKER_02
It will, but I ve already prepped myself.
6
SPEAKER_02
I know what s going to happen that first night.
6
SPEAKER_00
Because do you think you ll be sitting there with that same feeling like this can t really be mine?
6
SPEAKER_02
I m just going to have a bunch of friends over the first day.
6
SPEAKER_02
It ll be so fun.
6
SPEAKER_02
Everyone s going to leave.
6
SPEAKER_02
And then it ll just be little me in this home.
6
SPEAKER_02
Home with all this pretty stuff in it.
6
SPEAKER_02
And it s perfect.
6
SPEAKER_02
And I m going to
6
SPEAKER_02
I m gonna be so sad.
6
SPEAKER_02
I get it.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m trying to decide how to not make that happen, but I think it just will and I ll have to see it.
6
SPEAKER_00
What will lead to the sadness?
6
SPEAKER_02
the thing we talk about on this show every day, which is like, now what?
6
SPEAKER_02
Like, I did, I did it, and here we are.
6
SPEAKER_01
I have the perfect thing.
6
SPEAKER_01
But honestly, there will be a ton of problems.
6
SPEAKER_01
I know, I know, I know.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s the thing.
6
SPEAKER_00
You ll be kept quite busy.
6
SPEAKER_00
I know.
6
SPEAKER_00
Even with a brand new house.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, even brand new houses, just shit goes wrong all the time.
6
SPEAKER_01
There will always be something to work on.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s never finished.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s never finished.
6
SPEAKER_02
You re right, you re right.
6
SPEAKER_00
Do you feel, well, I think it s challenging
6
SPEAKER_00
for a lot of young people to come into a very successful show and share recognition.
6
SPEAKER_01
And share recognition?
6
SPEAKER_01
What do you mean, like?
6
SPEAKER_01
Everyone on Riverdale all comes up.
6
SPEAKER_00
There s gonna be like a magazine cover.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Who s standing where, and everyone s new and they care a lot as they should.
6
SPEAKER_00
I have a lot of sympathy for navigating that as a young person.
6
SPEAKER_02
Totally.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I think there s been a lot of shows where the shit hit the fan or it was wild.
6
SPEAKER_00
But it would appear at least that you and Lily and, who s the redhead?
6
SPEAKER_01
Madeline.
6
SPEAKER_00
Because you guys have a shared TikTok account.
6
SPEAKER_00
We do.
6
SPEAKER_00
Say the name of it, it s really cute.
6
SPEAKER_01
Blonde, brunette, redhead.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s so cute.
6
SPEAKER_00
Isn t that great?
6
SPEAKER_00
I want to hang, I m like, can I come down like a thing?
6
SPEAKER_00
I want to go, I know you had the girls night where you guys make pasta and drink wine.
6
SPEAKER_01
That one came up, so it was like all of us in a COVID house, not COVID house, we rented a house to quarantine in together our season during COVID.
6
SPEAKER_01
So we all had to quarantine for two weeks and we were like, why not do it together?
6
SPEAKER_01
And while we were there, week one, we were like,
6
SPEAKER_01
Should we start a TikTok account?
6
SPEAKER_01
And then we just started making, you know, it was like such a on the whim thing.
6
SPEAKER_00
But I feel like this really went well for you.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like you love those girls, right?
6
SPEAKER_01
I love them.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
6
SPEAKER_00
Lily was talking so favorably.
6
SPEAKER_00
They re best friends.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
They re like family to me.
6
SPEAKER_01
They re like sisters.
6
SPEAKER_01
I just saw them last week.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I was with KJ last night.
6
SPEAKER_01
I still see a lot of that.
6
SPEAKER_00
Does this remind you when you and I first became friends and I was obsessed with the fact that you were young in Hollywood and I was like, oh my God, you re gonna have so much fun in Hollywood.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like, what are you doing?
6
SPEAKER_02
I was like, what do you mean?
6
SPEAKER_02
What do you mean?
6
SPEAKER_02
Because you re trying to suck the youth out.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
I want to drink your adrenal throng.
6
SPEAKER_00
Is that cool if I come over and have some of your adrenal throng?
6
SPEAKER_00
Absolutely.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m sure you could do that.
6
SPEAKER_00
Just think about it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Think about it.
6
SPEAKER_00
If you guys are ever bored and you want me to swing by, I d love to.
6
SPEAKER_01
Participate?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
6
SPEAKER_02
I would love that.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I can make fun of myself, I think.
6
SPEAKER_02
You don t wanna be on TikTok.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m not a TikTok person, but I will if you re inviting me.
6
SPEAKER_00
I would love to.
6
SPEAKER_00
I could use a little bump, I think, on the social media front.
6
SPEAKER_00
How many followers does that account have?
6
SPEAKER_01
I don t know now.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think- You know.
6
SPEAKER_01
No, I actually don t know.
6
SPEAKER_00
Okay, but ballpark.
6
SPEAKER_01
Because it changes.
6
SPEAKER_01
13 mil.
6
SPEAKER_01
I can check right now.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
I can check right now.
6
SPEAKER_00
We need to get on the TikTok monitor.
6
SPEAKER_00
I know.
6
SPEAKER_01
Actually, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Can we come from Montessori on your TikTok?
6
SPEAKER_02
Can you add dirty gray Camilla has 25 million followers on Instagram incredible 25 million She s gonna drop
6
SPEAKER_00
Are you able to monetize that pretty good?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I d say so.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
You should.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s so cool.
6
SPEAKER_00
12.7 is the following.
6
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
6
12.7.
6
SPEAKER_01
I rounded it up a bit.
6
SPEAKER_00
Maybe when you guys hit 13, I come to celebrate.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
We do a little thing.
6
SPEAKER_02
It is so fun that you guys all get along.
6
SPEAKER_02
I know what you mean.
6
SPEAKER_02
It could go so many ways, and I m sure you were pitted against each other at some point.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
What helps a lot, I think there are other shows that disprove my theory, but we re all so different.
6
SPEAKER_01
We don t look like each other.
6
SPEAKER_01
We re not going up for the same roles.
6
SPEAKER_00
That is a blessing.
6
SPEAKER_01
I just think that helps separate it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, when you have like three blondes on a show, oh, dangerous.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like which one s the blonde that s gonna take off?
6
SPEAKER_00
They re all corns.
6
SPEAKER_01
Sarah Korn.
6
SPEAKER_01
That mentality exists no matter what.
6
SPEAKER_01
I think it s just natural because you re all coming up at the same time.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I don t think competition is the right word because that sounds like I don t want my co-stars to thrive, which I do.
6
SPEAKER_01
I think it s more, you go, oh, they did this?
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, why don t I have that?
6
SPEAKER_00
That s the problem is you constantly have something that s relative to your own performance right in front of your face.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s also the same stress of dating a fellow actor.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s like you could be in a cold phase and getting scared and this person s turning everything down and they turned down the meeting for the movie you re trying to get a meeting for.
6
SPEAKER_00
And of course you want your partner to win, but you become hyper aware of how
6
SPEAKER_01
How can you not reflect it back on yourself and be like, wait, but I haven t done that yet.
6
SPEAKER_01
Why haven t I done that yet?
6
SPEAKER_01
It s just a natural part of being in the business.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, like if one of the cast members had hosted Sarient Live, I d be like, oh, wow, that s a big thing.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, exactly.
6
SPEAKER_00
Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m enormously curious, you dated a dude on the show for a year, and then you guys were broken up for four more years on the show.
6
SPEAKER_01
We dated for a year, and then broke up for about a year, and then got back together for about a year.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, it s more exciting than that.
6
SPEAKER_00
This is in print, okay.
6
SPEAKER_01
Or the second time, it was like seven months, it didn t last that long.
6
SPEAKER_00
I can t imagine the merry-go-round I d be on if I worked with a co-star I had broken up with, and I imagine myself breaking up with them and being like, I am so fucking done with them, and then like three weeks later at work,
6
SPEAKER_01
Well, it s because it was COVID.
6
SPEAKER_01
That was a big catalyst.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s because we broke up and then COVID happened.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then the show was down for a long time, so there was that big separation.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then when we came back to COVID, we were both in other relationships.
6
SPEAKER_01
But then naturally, the two of us got out of our own relationships, not knowing the other did.
6
SPEAKER_00
And you re lonely and overworked in Canada.
6
SPEAKER_01
And we re in lockdown.
6
SPEAKER_01
We can t leave Vancouver.
6
SPEAKER_00
You re the only options.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
And it s like, maybe second time s a charm.
6
SPEAKER_01
Maybe this time it ll be different.
6
SPEAKER_00
Is it hard, though, when you finally break up to work together?
6
SPEAKER_02
I think in the beginning, yes.
6
SPEAKER_02
We had Kaley Cuoco on, and she talked about this, because she dated someone.
6
SPEAKER_00
Jim Parsons?
6
SPEAKER_02
No.
6
SPEAKER_00
She s not her sister who likes nerds.
6
SPEAKER_00
Johnny Galecki.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Johnny Korn.
6
SPEAKER_02
She dated him and then also... Had to keep working.
6
SPEAKER_02
Had to keep working, but she had positive things.
6
SPEAKER_00
Well, some people are good at breakups and some are not.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think I m quite good at it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Me too.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think I am too.
6
SPEAKER_00
Okay, that helps.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I m good at keeping things professional.
6
SPEAKER_01
I mean, obviously, right when it happened, it s hard and it s emotional.
6
SPEAKER_00
You see them laughing in a group and you re like, oh, you re not even hurting.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s the worst, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
But I think it s hard because the timing of the show it was jokes cuz it was like anytime we started to hook up Offset and knew that something was brewing our characters would start dating.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, no, no The writers just would naturally make it happen.
6
SPEAKER_00
Did you guys ever have to date post breakup on the show?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yes, so that s the second time.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh my god, you guys would be making out as breakups.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah Oh
6
SPEAKER_01
Right after.
6
SPEAKER_00
This is torture.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s awful.
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t know how you ever broke up.
6
SPEAKER_02
Was it mutual breaking up or did someone really break up with the other?
6
SPEAKER_02
Because that makes it so much worse.
6
SPEAKER_01
It was mutual.
6
SPEAKER_01
It ended very peacefully and wish you all the best.
6
SPEAKER_01
We ll see you next week.
6
SPEAKER_00
We ll take our shirts off next week to make out for an hour.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it still hurts, you know, no matter what.
6
SPEAKER_01
I think after that there was another break.
6
SPEAKER_01
between seasons and when we came back for the last season there was definitely like an air of zen where
7
SPEAKER_02
We worked together a lot as well, but not in a romantic capacity.
7
SPEAKER_02
Honestly, can t even remember what this last season was.
7
SPEAKER_02
I don t think we, yeah, there was no character dating.
7
SPEAKER_00
There s a Riverdale hyper fan screaming at her dash right now, how could you not remember kissing him on the balls in episode 13?
7
SPEAKER_02
I m almost positive there wasn t any.
7
SPEAKER_02
And then it went super smoothly last season.
7
SPEAKER_02
I think the whole last season felt very different in that way where we all really came together in the last season.
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s nice.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, because it s like, this is the last season
7
SPEAKER_00
Let s not miss this.
7
SPEAKER_02
Last time we re all gonna be together in this room.
7
SPEAKER_02
Who knows when something like this will happen again.
7
SPEAKER_00
Okay, well somehow in the middle of a seven year run, seven times 22, how many episodes you guys do, 158 or something?
7
SPEAKER_02
I can t even do that math right now.
7
SPEAKER_00
Seven times 22, 140 plus seven is 14, 154.
7
137.
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh, well that s, okay, so there must have been some years without 22.
7
SPEAKER_00
I stand by the math.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh yeah, yeah, the first year was 13.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh, there it is.
7
SPEAKER_02
I messed up our math, that was not our fault.
7
SPEAKER_02
It was not your fault.
7
SPEAKER_02
You guys are really good at math.
7
SPEAKER_02
Mainly Dax, mainly Dax.
7
SPEAKER_00
But in the middle of all that, you squoze in the new romantic, Palm Springs, Dangerous Lies.
7
SPEAKER_02
Every movie I ve done was squozed in.
7
SPEAKER_02
In those two month gaps?
7
SPEAKER_02
Jeez.
7
SPEAKER_02
And sometimes it was two in the same break.
7
SPEAKER_01
But it was a choice.
7
SPEAKER_01
I chose that.
7
SPEAKER_01
Are you prepared for some downtime?
7
SPEAKER_01
You gotta be mentally prepared.
7
SPEAKER_01
I have taken a lot of downtime, I feel.
7
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
7
SPEAKER_00
I feel like your definition of downtime and ours is probably much different.
7
SPEAKER_02
No, I always say I m determined this year to check myself in somewhere, go to like a mental health retreat, be off the grid for a month.
7
SPEAKER_02
Like I am dying to do that.
7
SPEAKER_02
I haven t found the time to do it.
7
SPEAKER_00
That s the catch 22.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it s on the 2024 bucket list.
7
SPEAKER_02
I like that.
7
SPEAKER_02
You need to do that.
7
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so you have upgraded, which you made presumably in the summer of 23?
7
SPEAKER_02
That was two years ago.
7
SPEAKER_02
See, because the strike last year just really fucked me.
7
SPEAKER_02
Time just feels different.
7
SPEAKER_02
But no, it was two years ago.
7
SPEAKER_02
It was 2021.
7
SPEAKER_02
2022, sorry.
7
2022.
7
SPEAKER_02
2022, that makes sense, because in strike in 2023, probably why you couldn t.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it was the year before strike.
7
SPEAKER_02
I did it right before we filmed our last season.
7
SPEAKER_00
A, this movie screams Devil Wears Prada.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m out of the loop on these things, but from my memory, this is very Devil Wears Prada.
7
SPEAKER_02
It is.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I hate making that comparison because I feel like anytime you compare your movie to like a really iconic movie that s beloved by millions, you re bound to get hate for it because you re like, how dare you compare this to that?
7
SPEAKER_00
Right.
7
SPEAKER_02
So I wouldn t want to say that, but there are similarities.
7
SPEAKER_00
You re saying thematically.
7
SPEAKER_02
Thematically, very similar, but in the art world.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so Marissa Tomei, she is very much the Anna Wintour character.
7
SPEAKER_00
She works at an auction house.
7
SPEAKER_00
She s not the owner, but she s second in command.
7
SPEAKER_00
And you are brand new on the job.
7
SPEAKER_00
You re trying to make a name for yourself.
7
SPEAKER_00
Everyone s bitchy.
7
SPEAKER_00
Everyone s mean.
7
SPEAKER_00
She s very short, would be the easiest way to say it.
7
SPEAKER_00
Very short?
7
SPEAKER_00
Short with people when she talks.
7
SPEAKER_00
I don t want to outright call her- She is really short.
7
SPEAKER_01
We thought you meant height-wise.
7
SPEAKER_00
I think she s average size.
7
SPEAKER_01
I was like, what s wrong with being short, Jax?
7
SPEAKER_00
I m 5 2, what s up?
7
SPEAKER_00
I like short girls, so nothing.
7
SPEAKER_00
That s your type.
7
SPEAKER_00
That is my type.
7
SPEAKER_01
There we go, we got around to it.
7
SPEAKER_00
I think it s pretty obvious from the track record.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so you get invited to join her on this very important trip to London, and you re the lowest person.
7
SPEAKER_00
And then when you get to the airport, these bitchy bitches.
7
SPEAKER_02
Bitchy bitches.
7
SPEAKER_00
They tell you, you re not even on this flight.
7
SPEAKER_00
You re flying out in three hours.
7
SPEAKER_00
You came here to check the bags.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, to move things, to hold things.
7
SPEAKER_00
And then the woman behind the counter has observed all this, and she s like, I only deal with assholes a couple times a day, and it seems like you are stuck with assholes.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna upgrade you to first class.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
And then your mom was there.
7
SPEAKER_01
And then I meet Giselle Mendez.
7
SPEAKER_00
If ever there was a time to get your mom as a stunt casting.
7
SPEAKER_00
I know.
7
SPEAKER_02
That would have been perfect.
7
SPEAKER_00
She s using all the amenities.
7
SPEAKER_00
She gets a massage.
7
SPEAKER_00
She s luxuriating.
7
SPEAKER_02
In classic rom-com fashion.
7
SPEAKER_00
Me cute.
7
SPEAKER_02
Slams into- Love me cute.
7
SPEAKER_00
Spills her drink all over her Bloody Mary, all over the jeans of... Will.
7
SPEAKER_00
He s a Brit.
7
SPEAKER_00
Is he a Brit in real life?
7
SPEAKER_02
He is a Brit in real life.
7
SPEAKER_00
Archie Renaud.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
Bumps into him.
7
SPEAKER_00
He s charming.
7
SPEAKER_00
And of course, they re sitting next to each other on the airplane.
7
SPEAKER_02
And conversation strikes.
7
SPEAKER_00
Of course.
7
SPEAKER_02
Two cute people flirting it up in first class.
7
SPEAKER_00
They re too hot not to like each other.
7
SPEAKER_00
It would be impossible.
7
SPEAKER_00
Who could resist?
7
SPEAKER_00
But then you get there, and of course she takes on this fake identity of someone who flies first class, and she starts pretending she s her boss.
7
SPEAKER_01
But she belongs there.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s a little bit talented Mr. Ripley.
7
SPEAKER_00
Little bit pretty woman.
7
SPEAKER_02
And then he asks her why she s going to London, and she s like, oh, you know, they called in the director of the New York office to save the day, and he assumes that I m the director of the New York office, and I just go with it.
7
SPEAKER_02
Sure.
7
SPEAKER_02
Because I m like, why not?
7
SPEAKER_02
We re on a plane.
7
SPEAKER_02
I can lie to you on a plane.
7
SPEAKER_00
That s right.
7
SPEAKER_02
I m never going to see you again.
7
SPEAKER_00
Vancouver the Slutton cut to
7
SPEAKER_00
Yes, and then you meet the mom, and the mom is very, very inviting.
7
SPEAKER_00
She wants your number.
7
SPEAKER_00
They re loaded.
7
SPEAKER_02
She s trying to set it up.
7
SPEAKER_02
She s an art collector, and she s coincidentally selling her art with, not Sotheby s, I like to say Sotheby s, but Irwin s, which is our Sotheby s.
7
SPEAKER_02
And then she s like, you work there?
7
SPEAKER_02
How crazy.
7
SPEAKER_02
You re the director?
7
SPEAKER_02
You should be in charge of my auction.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh, shit.
7
SPEAKER_02
So then I have to go along with this double life, where I m an intern for the actual director, and then also pretending to be
7
SPEAKER_00
The director.
7
SPEAKER_00
And falling in love with Renaud.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s right up your alley.
7
SPEAKER_01
I love a rom-com.
7
SPEAKER_01
I didn t watch it because I don t... We have a policy.
7
SPEAKER_01
We do have a policy.
7
SPEAKER_01
I don t try to watch the thing because sometimes if I do then it gets very esoteric and I can t see what an audience who hasn t seen it should not know.
7
SPEAKER_00
It just happened to us this week.
7
SPEAKER_01
It did, because I did watch Fargo, and now I m a mom.
7
SPEAKER_00
When we interviewed Noah Hawley, she hadn t, so she had a good idea of what he and I were geeking out too much, and then for the next two people, she had seen it.
7
SPEAKER_00
Now we don t know.
7
SPEAKER_02
So it s like a problem.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah, I see, it s all good.
7
SPEAKER_02
But I m really excited.
7
SPEAKER_02
You would love it.
7
SPEAKER_01
I know, I love a rom-com so much.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I m not just saying this because I m biased, and I was in it, and obviously I m gonna promote my movie, but genuinely, I just think it feels more elevated than most rom-coms.
7
SPEAKER_02
I don t always watch rom-coms, especially modern rom-coms.
7
SPEAKER_02
I think it s really hard to achieve these days.
7
SPEAKER_02
You re right.
7
SPEAKER_02
With the same magic that they used to have.
7
100%.
7
SPEAKER_00
What is your explanation of that?
7
SPEAKER_02
I think, I shouldn t say this because technically I didn t have this with Archie, but they used to chemistry test people more.
7
SPEAKER_02
I feel like they used to actually make sure that their two lead actors had real chemistry and I just don t think they re doing it like that anymore.
7
SPEAKER_02
They re doing it over Zoom.
7
SPEAKER_00
Right.
7
SPEAKER_00
And they re plucking two people with a certain social media footprint.
7
SPEAKER_02
Thank God I had chemistry with Archie, but we didn t get to test that out.
7
SPEAKER_02
We got lucky.
7
SPEAKER_02
But oftentimes these days, they re just offering one actor this role and another actor this role.
7
SPEAKER_02
And like, all right, you meet like a few days before you start filming.
7
SPEAKER_02
That s how it was for me and Rudy on Musica, on the other project.
7
SPEAKER_02
Because you met there?
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that s how we met.
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh, really?
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
Her boyfriend wrote and directed it.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
And stars in it.
7
SPEAKER_02
He plays himself.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s autobiographical.
7
SPEAKER_00
And you had not learned your lesson on Riverdale and you re like, yes, this is a great idea.
7
SPEAKER_01
I really thought I had.
7
SPEAKER_01
But I m like, no, this is different because it s a movie.
7
SPEAKER_00
Let s bang the writer and the director and the star.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m like, it s a movie.
7
SPEAKER_00
Like, if it doesn t work out.
7
SPEAKER_02
Temporary.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh man.
7
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, same thing.
7
SPEAKER_02
We didn t have a chemistry read, but we did meet several times on Zoom and I could tell that there was chemistry there, but it s literally you meet and then you start filming.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I think back in the day they placed more importance on that.
7
SPEAKER_01
That s a really good explanation.
7
SPEAKER_01
I have a sadder one.
7
SPEAKER_01
OK.
7
SPEAKER_01
Because I love rom-coms, so I hate this.
7
SPEAKER_01
I don t think we can make rom-coms in the same way because now when you rewatch, they re problematic.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s often stalkery.
7
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
7
SPEAKER_01
There s like stalkery stuff or women are often chasing men.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
It doesn t hold up.
7
SPEAKER_01
No, it s true.
7
SPEAKER_02
One of my favorites is, he s just not that into you.
7
SPEAKER_02
And when I look back on it, I m like, it s just a series of guys being like, look, this guy s just not interested in you.
7
SPEAKER_01
Get over it.
7
SPEAKER_01
We re men.
7
SPEAKER_01
Now we can t unsee it.
7
SPEAKER_01
If you make it, everyone will be like, what?
7
SPEAKER_02
They had an excuse.
7
SPEAKER_02
You don t have an excuse.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
You re fucking the most quintessential cinematic moment to say anything.
7
SPEAKER_00
He s holding a jam box.
7
SPEAKER_00
She won t talk to him, but he s outside of her house playing In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel.
7
SPEAKER_00
And yeah, he picked the perfect song.
7
SPEAKER_00
But she has said no.
7
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no, no, no.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s true.
7
SPEAKER_00
I feel terrible for the modern generation.
7
SPEAKER_02
Or better off.
7
SPEAKER_02
They just need good banter and good chemistry and genuinely funny writing, not rom-com funny writing.
7
SPEAKER_02
Exactly.
7
SPEAKER_01
It can happen, it just requires a lot more of the writer.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
I was also an EP on Upgraded.
7
SPEAKER_02
So I helped develop the script and it s so different from where it started.
7
SPEAKER_02
I mean, it had such good structure, but I think the dialogue was missing a lot of good quippy banter and it didn t feel like the way people flirt, especially nowadays.
7
SPEAKER_02
So me and my producing partner brought on her brother and his writing partner.
7
SPEAKER_02
These two guys you would never think would write a rom-com and don t write rom-coms were like, make this funny.
7
SPEAKER_02
Make it feel like actually comedic and I think it needed a different lens.
7
SPEAKER_02
So it didn t just fall into that same mold of rom-com that we see today.
7
SPEAKER_00
Here s the problem though.
7
SPEAKER_00
So we all now know Negging.
7
SPEAKER_02
Negging?
7
SPEAKER_00
Do you know Negging?
7
SPEAKER_02
What s Negging?
7
SPEAKER_00
So this douchey guy wrote a book about how to fuck girls and it had a classic
8
SPEAKER_00
classier title than that, but marginally classier.
8
SPEAKER_00
And his strategy is like you insult a pretty girl and make her insecure and then she ll like you.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s vomitus, right?
8
SPEAKER_00
And that s called nagging.
8
SPEAKER_00
And so it s vomitus and we don t like it, but at the same time, nagging is very fun when both people like each other.
8
SPEAKER_00
When you actually are in the real world, that is actually quite fun.
8
SPEAKER_00
Totally.
8
SPEAKER_00
So you re also balancing these two things where it s like a lot of these things are bad in some way and yet they re also quite fine and people enjoy them and both people are consensual, you know what I m saying?
8
SPEAKER_01
No, I hear what you re saying.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s playful.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s teasing each other.
8
SPEAKER_00
Like what s the line between nagging and teasing?
8
SPEAKER_01
Well, there is a line.
8
SPEAKER_01
Because nagging is insulting to make that person feel insecure.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s bad.
8
SPEAKER_01
Like beneath them or something.
8
SPEAKER_00
I have not met Liv Tyler.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m doing a movie with Liv Tyler.
8
SPEAKER_00
I also was in love with her as a kid.
8
SPEAKER_00
And we haven t met.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I pull into a parking spot for our first rehearsal, and I m driving a 1966 AC Cobra.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s the loudest, most obnoxious, coolest car ever made.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I pull up.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s got side pipes.
8
SPEAKER_00
I park.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m feeling quite cool.
8
SPEAKER_00
And she goes, don t get enough attention as an actor, huh?
8
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, oh, damn!
8
SPEAKER_00
I love that.
8
SPEAKER_00
I love that too.
8
SPEAKER_00
But it s great.
8
SPEAKER_00
She s like immediately making fun of me.
8
SPEAKER_02
I like when people call me out on my shit.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
8
SPEAKER_00
In a way that s negging, I guess.
8
SPEAKER_00
You re like, shh.
8
SPEAKER_02
But by the way, in Brazilian culture, that s how people connect.
8
SPEAKER_00
That s why Ana s my favorite person to talk to.
8
SPEAKER_00
I can say anything.
8
SPEAKER_02
We re always poking at each other and teasing each other.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
What do you think about that, Monica?
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I mean, I m going to say something again you won t like.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s kind of okay because she did it.
8
SPEAKER_01
If you did it, it wouldn t have felt the same.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s true.
8
SPEAKER_01
Why are you talking to her like that?
8
SPEAKER_02
Men have power, we know this.
8
SPEAKER_02
What if he said it?
8
SPEAKER_02
It s all about tone too, right?
8
SPEAKER_00
Of course.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yes!
8
SPEAKER_02
If you have a crush on someone and they re singing in a playful way, you re like, oh my god, stop, shut up.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yes, yes, yes!
8
SPEAKER_02
I think it could work.
8
SPEAKER_02
A hundred percent.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s nuanced.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
We re kind of trapped in this transitional phase where it s like, we just need to more clearly articulate what s going on.
8
SPEAKER_00
Cause like, yes, teasing we like.
8
SPEAKER_00
Having read a book of how to fuck hot chicks by shitting on them is like, ooh, that s rough.
8
SPEAKER_00
Because I want that in a rom-com.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
I want that.
8
SPEAKER_01
Playful, teasing.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yes, of course.
8
SPEAKER_01
It works.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
It does work and it should.
8
SPEAKER_01
If you feel like everyone s equals, then it doesn t matter.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s a big part of it.
8
SPEAKER_01
We figured it out.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
That s a gift we just gave everyone.
8
SPEAKER_02
That s the key.
8
SPEAKER_02
I feel like we try to do a lot of that teasing and the dialogue between the characters.
8
SPEAKER_00
That s what made me think of it.
8
SPEAKER_00
I was aware of like, well, some of this is nagging on his part.
8
SPEAKER_00
Totally.
8
SPEAKER_00
Like by definition.
8
SPEAKER_02
Like making fun of her being American.
8
SPEAKER_02
There are little things like that where they re making fun of each other s
8
SPEAKER_00
Which is really how you do flirt.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
Or how I do.
8
SPEAKER_02
Because there s something about it that s like, I see you.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_02
You feel seen when someone makes fun of you for something.
8
SPEAKER_02
You re like, oh, you re paying attention.
8
SPEAKER_02
Exactly.
8
SPEAKER_02
I feel special.
8
SPEAKER_02
That s really true.
8
SPEAKER_00
What s your favorite rom-com?
8
SPEAKER_01
I love the breakup.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh, Jen-Anne and Vince Vaughn.
8
SPEAKER_00
That s a quality movie.
8
SPEAKER_00
I don t think I d even call that a rom-com.
8
SPEAKER_00
Is it not?
8
SPEAKER_01
It s sad.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s like an inverted rom-com.
8
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
8
SPEAKER_02
I love Along Came Polly.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I loved that movie.
8
SPEAKER_02
I guess I just love, I love Jen-Anne Astin, honestly.
8
SPEAKER_01
Jen-Anne.
8
SPEAKER_01
This is so embarrassing.
8
SPEAKER_01
I sent her like a desperado DM yesterday.
8
SPEAKER_01
Really?
8
SPEAKER_01
Get her on the show?
8
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
8
SPEAKER_01
She ll do it, no?
8
SPEAKER_01
No, she won t do it.
8
SPEAKER_01
She won t do it.
8
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I m not ruling her out, but I was just like... I love Jenn-Anne.
8
SPEAKER_02
And How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days is also a great one.
8
SPEAKER_02
That s a classic.
8
SPEAKER_02
Everyone loved that one.
8
SPEAKER_00
Hard not to love that one.
8
SPEAKER_00
I love Andrew Schultz so much.
8
SPEAKER_00
The best.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m so delighted he s in your movie.
8
SPEAKER_00
I discovered him on Instagram.
8
SPEAKER_00
Not like I discovered.
8
SPEAKER_00
I personally didn t know about him.
8
SPEAKER_00
I found him on Instagram.
8
SPEAKER_00
I follow him.
8
SPEAKER_00
I think every single clip is hysterical.
8
SPEAKER_00
I ve been DMing him and now I ve got like this friendship brewing.
8
SPEAKER_00
There s always this great question when you see a standup act.
8
SPEAKER_00
Are they gonna be terrible or great?
8
SPEAKER_00
And he s phenomenal.
8
SPEAKER_00
He s so good.
8
SPEAKER_02
No, he makes that role.
8
SPEAKER_02
He adds another layer of comedy to our movie that just gives it more flavor.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I m curious how much was on the page and how much was he riffing?
8
SPEAKER_02
A lot of it was on the page, but he would add his own... Spin.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_02
I don t want to misspeak.
8
SPEAKER_02
I m pretty sure the Rocky Balboa stuff was him.
8
SPEAKER_00
He gives you a speech and it s from Rocky.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, but it s like the way he says things that was not on the page.
8
SPEAKER_02
I wish there was more of him in the movie, honestly.
8
SPEAKER_00
I know.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s a really funny dynamic.
8
SPEAKER_00
She s living with her sister and her sister s husband, who is Schultz.
8
SPEAKER_00
They re in an apartment that s... It s like a tiny New York apartment.
8
SPEAKER_00
The grandma lived and died there and the mom, it s rent control, it s one bedroom.
8
SPEAKER_00
He wants a dog really bad.
8
SPEAKER_00
He wants her to join the Navy.
8
SPEAKER_00
He s trying to get her to join the Navy.
8
SPEAKER_02
And move back to Florida.
8
SPEAKER_00
He s really wants to move to Florida and join the Navy.
8
SPEAKER_02
I love that opening scene so much.
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh, he s so good.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m delighted.
8
SPEAKER_00
Okay, let s do a couple minutes on Musica, because that s also coming out this year.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
8
SPEAKER_00
And as we just learned, your boyfriend, Mancuso?
8
SPEAKER_02
Rudy Mancuso.
8
SPEAKER_02
Mancuso.
8
SPEAKER_00
Mancuso, Rudy Mancuso.
8
SPEAKER_02
Oh yeah, that s the Italian part.
8
SPEAKER_00
Ah, Mancuso.
8
SPEAKER_00
Here we go.
8
SPEAKER_00
Am I understanding this correctly?
8
SPEAKER_00
Because this might interest you and Rudy, Manguzo, that Mary Steenburgen, I don t remember the exact event that led to this, but there was some medical thing where when she was post that, she had never
8
SPEAKER_00
been interested in music, never pursued it, and she came out of this situation and she hears music nonstop in her head and she ended up starting a career, and I m guessing her 50s, she writes songs in Nashville, she s had many songs written
8
SPEAKER_00
Do you know this about Mary?
8
SPEAKER_02
I had no idea.
8
SPEAKER_02
Are you saying she has synesthesia?
8
SPEAKER_00
Is that what it s called?
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
It is about that actual condition.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, a lot of it has to do with synesthesia because Rudy has synesthesia.
8
SPEAKER_00
Explain synesthesia to us.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s like a tripping up of your sensory wires.
8
SPEAKER_02
So there s different forms of it.
8
SPEAKER_02
His is called rhythmic association.
8
SPEAKER_02
So his is more about organizing daily diegetic sound into rhythm, almost in like a compulsive way.
8
SPEAKER_02
But then there are people that are synesthetic, like Billie Eilish.
8
SPEAKER_02
I know John Mayer is synesthetic.
8
SPEAKER_02
Oh, really?
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, there are a ton of musicians that are synesthetic, and a lot of them can hear a sound and see a color.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I ve heard that.
8
SPEAKER_01
Things like that.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s just your sensory wire is getting tripped up.
8
SPEAKER_01
You hear a color.
8
SPEAKER_00
And you see a sound.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, or you can taste Tuesday.
8
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I m dying to taste Tuesday.
8
SPEAKER_02
I like to describe it sometimes as like, sometimes if you say the word lime or lemon or you think of it, you can start to feel your jaw.
8
SPEAKER_02
There s certain words and sounds that have associations with other senses, so they re connected.
8
SPEAKER_00
Or plethora, you get queasy immediately.
8
SPEAKER_02
Oh, you do?
8
SPEAKER_02
You do?
8
SPEAKER_00
Plethora.
8
SPEAKER_00
Let s unpack that, Dax.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you just don t like that word.
8
SPEAKER_00
Carrie and I determined in high school that the real definition of plethora should be wet fart.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
8
SPEAKER_00
Right?
8
SPEAKER_00
Like, oh my God, I think I plethora d.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s so gross.
8
SPEAKER_00
The word is so gross.
8
SPEAKER_02
You think it s a shark.
8
SPEAKER_00
Plethora.
8
SPEAKER_00
I guess a shark, but even worse.
8
SPEAKER_02
Plethora sounds like it would be near the uterus to me.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, like placenta.
8
SPEAKER_00
Part of the reproductive system.
8
SPEAKER_00
Placenta, plethora.
8
SPEAKER_01
I bet the fart thing is because it sounds very breathy.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s a plethora.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s a plethora.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s a pervy word.
8
SPEAKER_00
Plethora.
8
SPEAKER_00
I could make her gag by saying plethora.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wow.
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh, fuck.
8
SPEAKER_00
Did someone plethora?
8
SPEAKER_01
I think that was one of the first words that I thought was a big vocabulary word.
8
SPEAKER_00
I think a lot of people thought that.
8
SPEAKER_01
So I used it a lot.
8
SPEAKER_01
In essays?
8
SPEAKER_02
Oh, that was such an essay word.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
8
SPEAKER_00
So embarrassing.
8
SPEAKER_00
The spelling s gross, too.
8
SPEAKER_00
I don t like how it looks.
8
SPEAKER_02
Oh, wow.
8
SPEAKER_00
A lot of people have this with moist.
8
SPEAKER_02
I don t mind moist.
8
SPEAKER_00
I don t either.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I ve made it even worse and grosser.
8
SPEAKER_00
I say moist.
8
SPEAKER_00
Just to really push into what I think people hate about it.
8
SPEAKER_00
I think it s the moist part of moist that they hate.
8
SPEAKER_00
So I just say, well, this is very moist.
8
SPEAKER_00
Moist.
8
SPEAKER_00
I think I have synesthesia.
8
SPEAKER_00
Is that what it s called?
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
I have a weird thing where- You get horny when boys puke?
8
SPEAKER_01
Is that a thing?
8
SPEAKER_01
No.
8
SPEAKER_01
Stop!
8
SPEAKER_00
That s it!
8
SPEAKER_01
She s been so honest!
8
SPEAKER_00
You owe her that.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m gonna tell her a different thing about me.
8
SPEAKER_01
When I was in school, I did get a weird, like, tingly feeling.
8
SPEAKER_01
Not sexual, I don t think.
8
SPEAKER_00
I ll be the judge of that.
8
SPEAKER_01
When a teacher would say a color, if they said, like, get your blue folder, I really enjoyed when they would say the color.
8
SPEAKER_01
It, like, did something weird to my body.
8
SPEAKER_00
Sensory.
8
SPEAKER_00
And then I would ask my friends, like, do you like have- Anyone else get PQs when he says orange?
8
SPEAKER_00
They re all, like, looking at you.
8
SPEAKER_00
Orange was one.
8
SPEAKER_01
Like, I just liked that.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s mainly a teacher s.
8
SPEAKER_00
When you re done with your test, I brought a bag of oranges.
8
SPEAKER_00
If he was referring to the fruit, would that have messed it up, or you still enjoyed it?
8
SPEAKER_01
Nope, color.
8
SPEAKER_00
Color, okay.
8
SPEAKER_00
Ooh, here s a gross word about color.
8
SPEAKER_00
This is as bad as plethora, pews.
8
SPEAKER_02
What s pews?
8
SPEAKER_00
A color.
8
SPEAKER_02
That is a color.
8
SPEAKER_02
That s not a color.
8
SPEAKER_00
Pews.
8
SPEAKER_00
Ew, pews-y.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s kind of a-
8
SPEAKER_01
It looks like it sounds like a greenish, right?
8
SPEAKER_01
How do you spell it?
8
SPEAKER_00
She used to summon plethora P U C P use.
8
SPEAKER_01
I think it s like a green pink.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh, it s a pain.
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s flea color.
8
SPEAKER_00
It just gets worse.
8
SPEAKER_00
Pew color.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh, it s pretty.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s a very pretty.
9
SPEAKER_04
Oh my God, it is gorgeous.
9
SPEAKER_01
It thinks it s better than you, you know, like peons.
9
SPEAKER_04
Have you met my friend Camila?
9
SPEAKER_04
She s pews.
9
SPEAKER_04
She s pews.
9
SPEAKER_04
No, no, she d have her plethora, that s fine.
9
SPEAKER_04
I m thinking of someone else.
9
SPEAKER_04
I m thinking of Camila Cabello.
9
SPEAKER_01
She would never plethora.
9
SPEAKER_01
Do you know Camila Cabello?
9
SPEAKER_01
I ve met her, I don t know her well.
9
SPEAKER_01
Is that the Bainier existence?
9
SPEAKER_01
John Mayer made a little joke of a song once where he just sang my name and Camila Cabello s name and Shawn Mendes  name back to back.
9
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, I bet some people think you are Camila Cabello and that you ve married Shawn Mendes.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, they definitely think that, especially early days.
9
SPEAKER_01
Now, not so much, but I get tagged in things of Camila Cabello all the time.
9
SPEAKER_04
Oh my gosh, what a luxury.
9
SPEAKER_04
I don t get tagged in anything.
9
SPEAKER_04
I d love to be on your TikTok, though.
9
SPEAKER_04
When you guys hit 13 million.
9
SPEAKER_04
Come on over.
9
SPEAKER_04
Back to Musica.
9
SPEAKER_04
So he has synesthesia.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, synesthesia.
9
SPEAKER_00
I love learning that.
9
SPEAKER_04
Synesthesia.
9
SPEAKER_04
Monika has seizures.
9
SPEAKER_02
Synesthesia.
9
SPEAKER_02
Maybe they re connected somehow.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, maybe it s the colors.
9
SPEAKER_02
Don t say that again.
9
SPEAKER_04
Stop talking about that.
9
SPEAKER_02
Synesthesia.
9
SPEAKER_04
So he has written and directed this.
9
SPEAKER_04
He actually has it.
9
SPEAKER_04
He s enormously talented.
9
SPEAKER_01
Very.
9
SPEAKER_04
He has an enormous YouTube following.
9
SPEAKER_04
He has an enormous everything.
9
SPEAKER_04
He directs a ton of commercials.
9
SPEAKER_04
He s a baller.
9
SPEAKER_01
I m really excited for him.
9
SPEAKER_01
This is his first film.
9
SPEAKER_01
And I know that being a filmmaker has been his dream since he was
9
SPEAKER_01
11 years old in Newark, New Jersey.
9
SPEAKER_01
And his route to get there was Vine and then YouTube.
9
SPEAKER_04
He s a hustler.
9
SPEAKER_01
That s what I like.
9
SPEAKER_01
He s a hustler.
9
SPEAKER_04
Hustlers are sexy.
9
SPEAKER_01
And this just feels so earned for him and this journey that he s been on.
9
SPEAKER_01
I think the internet personality world is very much judged.
9
SPEAKER_01
I think people look down on it.
9
SPEAKER_01
But when you see the stuff that he s done, he s so brilliant.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s like just the beginning of his career.
9
SPEAKER_04
I had a revolution on this, because, yeah, initially I was like, that person s a YouTube star.
9
SPEAKER_04
Like, of course, I had to stick up my ass about it.
9
SPEAKER_01
But by the way, so did I. Okay, good.
9
SPEAKER_04
That s comforting.
9
SPEAKER_04
It is, because you re young.
9
SPEAKER_04
I chalked it up to that I m old, like your mom.
9
SPEAKER_04
I started thinking about it.
9
SPEAKER_04
I was like, when I came here, I didn t have an agent as we talked about.
9
SPEAKER_04
My favorite part of being at the Groundlings is I got to make video shorts.
9
SPEAKER_04
And I couldn t get my foot in the door.
9
SPEAKER_04
And I had so much passion and energy to create.
9
SPEAKER_04
And if I had had an outlet, I m like, why am I hung up on this?
9
SPEAKER_04
It s been democratized.
9
SPEAKER_04
Nothing stands in your way.
9
SPEAKER_04
And if you pop in the sea of a hundred million fucking contributors, what an accomplishment.
9
SPEAKER_01
He always talks about how he heard what Vine was.
9
SPEAKER_01
He s like, wow, telling a story in six seconds, that s fascinating.
9
SPEAKER_01
He was inspired and challenged and excited by it.
9
SPEAKER_01
And that s what got him into it.
9
SPEAKER_01
And what I find so interesting is I had that judgment in the beginning of, okay, who wants me to be in their movie?
9
SPEAKER_01
Who is this guy?
9
SPEAKER_01
He did what?
9
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
9
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I ll meet with him.
9
SPEAKER_01
He s Brazilian.
9
SPEAKER_01
I definitely want to meet another Brazilian in the industry, but I m probably going to pass.
9
SPEAKER_01
And that s my own insecurity because I m coming from like a teen show.
9
SPEAKER_01
I got to be so careful about who I work with and what I do, and I don t want to be judged.
9
SPEAKER_01
Then I met him.
9
SPEAKER_01
Complete 180.
9
SPEAKER_01
In the first five minutes of us meeting, I was like, I m doing this.
9
SPEAKER_04
Well, yes, if someone succeeds in any category or silo, what you have to acknowledge is they have something clearly, whether it was on a network show or a streaming show or a movie or YouTube or Instagram, they have a charisma clearly.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s also not like he was a vlogger.
9
SPEAKER_01
Not that I judge that either, but he was making skits and telling stories.
9
SPEAKER_01
He was a creator.
9
SPEAKER_01
And who is anyone to judge the medium that you re creating in if you re doing it successfully and people are enjoying it?
9
SPEAKER_04
When you started dating, did you have a hiccup of like, I m going to have to tell people he s good?
9
SPEAKER_01
Because also when I started working with him, I mean, it s so hot when you see someone, he s so good at directing.
9
SPEAKER_01
I m like, this is your first time doing this, but it s not technically, right?
9
SPEAKER_01
I m like, you ve been creating for like a decade.
9
SPEAKER_04
He s edited for a decade.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he edits all his own stuff.
9
SPEAKER_01
He s like so tuned in to what he wants that watching him lead an Amazon movie with a decent budget and know exactly what he wants and hold his own and not feel like a first time filmmaker.
9
SPEAKER_01
Cause I ve worked with a ton and they re not like that.
9
SPEAKER_04
Well, he s not a first time filmmaker, he s a first time this length filmmaker.
9
SPEAKER_04
Okay, so Upgraded comes out February 9th, Valentine s Day, ding, ding, ding.
9
SPEAKER_04
Also our six year anniversary.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yes, Valentine s Day is your six year anniversary.
9
SPEAKER_01
We came out on Valentine s Day six years ago.
9
SPEAKER_01
That s amazing.
9
SPEAKER_04
When does Musica come out?
9
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if there s an exact date on it yet.
9
SPEAKER_01
Okay, TBD.
9
SPEAKER_01
I think it s April.
9
SPEAKER_04
Well, you know, this spring starts sniffing around.
9
SPEAKER_04
April 4th.
9
SPEAKER_01
April 4th.
9
SPEAKER_01
It was announced.
9
SPEAKER_01
Scheduled to be released.
9
SPEAKER_01
But I wasn t sure if that was official or not, or if that s just the talk of the town.
9
SPEAKER_04
Right, also April showers bring May flowers.
9
SPEAKER_01
They do bring May flowers.
9
SPEAKER_00
Will you look and see if they bring May flowers?
9
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, Rob, does it say whether or not April showers bring May flowers?
9
SPEAKER_04
They do, they do.
9
SPEAKER_00
They do, they do.
9
SPEAKER_00
Are you guys gonna fact check that?
9
SPEAKER_00
Peace, vermilion, plethora.
9
SPEAKER_00
Tina, that candle is peuce.
9
SPEAKER_00
Is it really?
9
SPEAKER_04
The color.
9
SPEAKER_00
It is, that s exactly the color.
9
SPEAKER_00
That A24 candle?
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that we have, exactly.
9
SPEAKER_04
This has been a blast.
9
SPEAKER_04
We re two for two for Riverdale cast members.
9
SPEAKER_04
I know, you guys are great.
9
SPEAKER_04
Because I really liked Lily a lot too.
9
SPEAKER_01
Lily s the best.
9
SPEAKER_01
She s so real.
9
SPEAKER_01
I admire her so much for that.
9
SPEAKER_01
Ohio.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
That was a while ago.
9
SPEAKER_02
It was.
9
SPEAKER_01
I know, I didn t realize how long ago that was.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, time is a lion.
9
SPEAKER_01
She doesn t give a fuck.
9
SPEAKER_01
She ll say what she thinks and what she feels.
9
SPEAKER_01
She s so honest.
9
SPEAKER_01
I need to learn how to be like that more.
9
SPEAKER_01
I take that from her.
9
SPEAKER_04
It s funny, you think you re going to pay some big price for it and you don t.
9
SPEAKER_02
That s really true.
9
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_04
Well, I really enjoyed this.
9
SPEAKER_04
I hope you had as much fun as I did.
9
SPEAKER_01
This was so easy.
9
SPEAKER_04
Okay, wonderful.
9
SPEAKER_01
I don t feel like I ve said anything I regret.
9
SPEAKER_01
Not yet, at least.
9
SPEAKER_04
Well, that s because you refused to say the thing we said we d cut out, and I m furious.
9
SPEAKER_04
Upgraded, February 9th.
9
SPEAKER_04
Musica, TBD.
9
SPEAKER_00
April 4th.
9
SPEAKER_04
When those showers a-come, start looking for them gay flowers in this movie.
9
SPEAKER_00
All right, love you.
9
SPEAKER_03
Bye.
9
SPEAKER_03
Bye.
9
SPEAKER_03
Stick around for the fact check.
9
SPEAKER_03
Because they re human, they make lots of mistakes.
9
SPEAKER_04
Oh, should we start with the heartbreaking news?
9
SPEAKER_04
Sure.
9
SPEAKER_04
I don t know that I ve ever been as, like, felt a punch to my gut as much reading about someone from another country that I don t know anything about dying.
9
SPEAKER_02
It s awful, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_04
Navalny.
9
SPEAKER_04
God, is that fucking brutal.
9
SPEAKER_02
It s so bad.
9
SPEAKER_04
And the sweet family that was in the dock.
9
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_04
Oh, what a sacrifice.
9
SPEAKER_04
The only thing I could hope is that somehow, somehow maybe he ll start his wish, which is like, maybe he ll be the great martyr there that ll challenge that.
9
SPEAKER_04
I mean, he s so not other, he s so us for them.
9
SPEAKER_04
He s not a Ukrainian, he s not, you know, from the Crimea, you know, he s them.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that s really sad.
9
SPEAKER_04
Oh God, I shouldn t have started with that.
9
SPEAKER_04
Let s start with something that I ve seen in the comments quite a bit, and I actually am nervous we have to address this, which is you called a conference I went to, the Illuminati, but you were joking.
9
SPEAKER_04
I m not in the Illuminati.
9
SPEAKER_04
I don t think the Illuminati s real.
9
SPEAKER_04
This was a conference of professors, some prime ministers, and a bunch of academics getting together to talk about world events and if they could collectively help.
9
SPEAKER_04
That s what it was.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yes, it s not real.
9
SPEAKER_04
It s not real, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_04
And some people are like truly shook by that.
9
SPEAKER_02
Oh, wow.
9
SPEAKER_04
You just brushed it under the rug, Dax.
9
SPEAKER_04
Is Dax a member of the Illuminati?
9
SPEAKER_02
Oh, that s really funny.
9
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_02
No, you re not.
9
SPEAKER_04
I m not.
9
SPEAKER_02
Do we think it s real?
9
SPEAKER_04
No, I don t think the Illuminati s real.
9
SPEAKER_04
Do you?
9
SPEAKER_02
I don t know, I like secret societies, so I d be okay with it being real.
9
SPEAKER_04
Okay, so let s really dig into what we mean by Illuminati.
9
SPEAKER_04
There s think tanks, the RAND group, there s all these really well-funded think tanks that do write policy for D.C.
9
SPEAKER_04
That s one thing.
9
SPEAKER_04
There also might be a group of people that think they re the Illuminati.
9
SPEAKER_04
I don t know, when they go to these G20 summits, I don t know if eight of them get together and think that.
9
SPEAKER_04
But the core conspiracy behind the Illuminati, do I think a very select few individuals are running planet Earth?
9
SPEAKER_04
I do not.
9
SPEAKER_02
Oh yeah, no, I don t think that either.
9
SPEAKER_02
But I think there could be like a group of people who get together and discuss things and work together to get things done.
9
SPEAKER_02
Not like they have like absolute power, but...
9
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, I would just call those people like lobby groups, right?
9
SPEAKER_04
Like if you re in a restaurant owner, you join the fucking Better Business Bureau or whatever thing s gonna represent you in DC.
9
SPEAKER_04
And so, yeah, there s lots of collectives of like-minded people with like interests or shared interests that definitely combine resources to try to get things pushed along.
9
SPEAKER_02
It s, I mean, I guess it s sort of a ding, ding, ding to what we were just talking about Russia.
9
SPEAKER_04
Yes.
9
SPEAKER_04
Now, do I think Russia has one person that pretty much controls everything?
9
SPEAKER_04
I do.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, unfortunately.
9
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, no, I don t think, I don t think so.
9
SPEAKER_02
But if there is like a fun group of people who are like Rihanna and she s supposed to be in it.
9
SPEAKER_04
I guess that s the thing too, if there was an Illuminati, they would not invite me.
9
SPEAKER_04
Like I have a history of talking too much out loud in public.
9
SPEAKER_02
That s true.
9
SPEAKER_02
Even about my own dirty laundry.
9
SPEAKER_02
You re a bit of a blabbermouth.
9
SPEAKER_04
I m a blabbermouth who has to fill up six hours a week on the radio.
10
SPEAKER_01
They wouldn t invite me.
10
SPEAKER_03
They wouldn t be smart to for that reason.
10
SPEAKER_03
But also you re good at keeping secrets if you need to keep a secret.
10
SPEAKER_01
If it s life or death, sure.
10
SPEAKER_01
For a friend, but not strangers.
10
SPEAKER_03
I feel like it would be life or death, because that s part of it.
10
SPEAKER_03
They have power.
10
SPEAKER_01
And they kill.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
As you may recall, I read that book, Behold the Pale Horse in high school.
10
SPEAKER_01
And for about 90 days, I was believing in the Illuminati.
10
SPEAKER_02
You were.
10
SPEAKER_01
Like trying to.
10
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
10
SPEAKER_01
You know, it s a very, very fun, fantastical fantasy that there s the Knights Templar, and they ve been guarding the Shroud of Turin, and they ve always been the sergeant of arms of these powerful groups, and then you look at how many presidents were masons.
10
SPEAKER_01
You know, all these suspicious corollaries.
10
SPEAKER_03
Skull and bones.
10
SPEAKER_01
Skull and bones, skull and key.
10
SPEAKER_03
Is there a Skull and Bones?
10
SPEAKER_00
Ooh.
10
SPEAKER_03
I think it s called Skull and Bones.
10
SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
10
SPEAKER_00
Wobby Wob?
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, wasn t that what the, well, are you thinking of the movie, The Skull?
10
SPEAKER_03
No, the movie is The Skulls, but I think the actual thing is called Skull and Bones.
10
SPEAKER_00
I think it s The Skull and Key.
10
SPEAKER_00
Skull and Bones, also known as The Order, Order 322, or The Brotherhood of Death.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s an undergraduate senior secret student society at Yale.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
10
SPEAKER_01
Skull and Key?
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, is it scrolling key you get keys not ringing a bell for you.
10
SPEAKER_00
He sounds kind of familiar I don t remember why but scrolling keys is a men s Honor Society at University of California Berkeley.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh That feels like West Coast a little weak.
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I m sorry doesn t have the history West Coast They just bit off of Yale
10
SPEAKER_01
Although, how about this, I don t really believe this, but just for fun of making an argument.
10
SPEAKER_01
They re all over there sniffing each other s farts in this paneled room, no one can get in, comic book fucking whatever fantasy.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oppenheimer s learning how to blow up the planet.
10
SPEAKER_01
So impact, I don t know, we could argue what s happening at Berkeley was much more.
10
SPEAKER_00
Scroll and Key is also.
10
SPEAKER_00
There we go.
10
SPEAKER_00
1842 at Yale also.
10
SPEAKER_00
Scroll.
10
SPEAKER_00
Scroll and Key.
10
SPEAKER_00
One of the oldest Yale secret societies and reportedly the wealthiest.
10
SPEAKER_00
I think that s the one.
10
SPEAKER_03
You re talking about?
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that we re thinking of when we say Skull and Bone.
10
SPEAKER_03
No, that s also.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, Yale has.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, definitely has three.
10
SPEAKER_01
But I think the presidents and stuff weren t members of Skull and Bone.
10
SPEAKER_01
I think they were members of Scroll and Key.
10
SPEAKER_01
And there s also Wolf s Head.
10
SPEAKER_01
Those are the three at Yale.
10
SPEAKER_03
Harvard has four, I think, right?
10
SPEAKER_03
It says they don t.
10
SPEAKER_03
What?
10
SPEAKER_03
Yes, they do.
10
SPEAKER_01
They re just so good at keeping secrets.
10
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
10
SPEAKER_01
No, because Mike Schur was in one of them, right?
10
SPEAKER_01
What was the one he was in?
10
SPEAKER_01
No, he was in- Lampoons.
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, he was in National Lampoon.
10
SPEAKER_01
But that has a secret room that no one can go in unless they re a member, right?
10
SPEAKER_03
Oh, probably.
10
SPEAKER_01
I think he was saying.
10
SPEAKER_03
They have social clubs, for sure.
10
SPEAKER_03
That s what What s It Called was all about.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, Friendship Circle.
10
SPEAKER_00
Social network.
10
SPEAKER_00
Not secret, though.
10
SPEAKER_00
If you want social clubs, they ve got Spree Club, Owl Club.
10
SPEAKER_00
No, the owl club s coming the fly club.
10
SPEAKER_01
Don t worry.
10
SPEAKER_03
We ll call the ceramics club box club the hasty pudding pudding is Yeah, and it s comedy and they do sketches.
10
SPEAKER_03
It s actually my friend Maddie the pudding
10
SPEAKER_03
She s, I don t think she s a pudding.
10
SPEAKER_03
But she s hasty.
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, she s definitely hasty and she s written like a sketch or something for them and they just had a big anniversary for hasty pudding last month or something and Barry Keoghan was honored there.
10
SPEAKER_03
Final close.
10
SPEAKER_01
I m sorry, real quick to interrupt.
10
SPEAKER_01
Do you think it was a typo and it was really tasty puddings?
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, that makes more, that just makes more sense.
10
SPEAKER_03
They re called final clubs.
10
SPEAKER_03
Remember from social network?
10
SPEAKER_03
That was the hole he couldn t get in.
10
SPEAKER_01
And he was angry, so he created the social network.
10
SPEAKER_03
I don t, I feel like the internet s erased it.
10
SPEAKER_01
You think they re that much better at keeping their secrets?
10
SPEAKER_01
Did Maddie go to Harvard?
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, great.
10
SPEAKER_01
I m sorry, did Maddie go to school in Boston?
10
SPEAKER_03
She did.
10
SPEAKER_03
It was funny.
10
SPEAKER_01
So Maddie s a girl.
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, Maddie s a girl.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, Maddie is the writer.
10
SPEAKER_03
She wrote the article on me for Vanity Fair.
10
SPEAKER_03
Yes, okay.
10
SPEAKER_03
And she also wrote a beautiful piece about Celica.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh, she did.
10
SPEAKER_01
We so like Salekha.
10
SPEAKER_03
Big time.
10
SPEAKER_03
When we were at the advertising dinner, there was a woman sitting across from us and her husband.
10
SPEAKER_03
They said they went to school.
10
SPEAKER_01
in Boston.
10
SPEAKER_03
And I said, so you went to Harvard?
10
SPEAKER_03
And she was like, he did.
10
SPEAKER_03
And she went to Dartmouth.
10
SPEAKER_03
But it was funny.
10
SPEAKER_03
And he was like, I didn t say it.
10
SPEAKER_03
I wasn t the one.
10
SPEAKER_01
They can t win.
10
SPEAKER_03
I know.
10
SPEAKER_03
They can t win.
10
SPEAKER_01
Don t go to Harvard.
10
SPEAKER_01
I mean, if there s anything to learn from this, don t go.
10
SPEAKER_01
They ve got no secret societies.
10
SPEAKER_03
They have the secretest secret societies.
10
SPEAKER_03
You should definitely go.
10
SPEAKER_01
And then you ll never,
10
SPEAKER_01
be able to say where you went to school.
10
SPEAKER_01
When people go, did you go to college?
10
SPEAKER_01
They have to say, no, no, I didn t.
10
SPEAKER_03
Ooh, that s a big, that s kind of a cool flex.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s like, no, I didn t.
10
SPEAKER_01
I didn t go to school.
10
SPEAKER_01
Why do you?
10
SPEAKER_03
Why do you have a problem with that?
10
SPEAKER_01
You got a fucking problem with that?
10
SPEAKER_03
And then you do the speech that Matt Damon did in Good Will Hunting where he s schooling that guy.
10
SPEAKER_01
Then you pull out an LSAT and go, you wanna challenge me to the LSAT even though I didn t go to college?
10
SPEAKER_03
So you just pull out the book, the standardized test.
10
SPEAKER_03
Well, I m getting some intel.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, great.
10
SPEAKER_01
While you wait for that intel, I feel like I ve cleared up the Illuminati thing.
10
SPEAKER_03
Okay, I hope people believe you.
10
SPEAKER_01
Because people are nuts about that.
10
SPEAKER_01
I don t want people thinking I m actually, yeah.
10
SPEAKER_03
— But also, if people— — I don t need to end up on all these lists.
10
SPEAKER_00
— But if people listen to the last fact check about his mom and the CIA, they re going to think that you re doing exactly what she did.
10
SPEAKER_00
— I know.
10
SPEAKER_03
Which is a lie.
10
SPEAKER_03
I know.
10
SPEAKER_03
It s complex.
10
SPEAKER_01
— It s like not being able to say you went to Harvard.
10
SPEAKER_03
Okay, actually, so these are right.
10
SPEAKER_03
These are right, what Rob read.
10
SPEAKER_03
The Porcelain Club, the Spie, the Fox, the Delphic, the Phoenix, the Fly, and the A.D.
10
SPEAKER_01
Those are male?
10
SPEAKER_03
Some are female now, she says.
10
SPEAKER_03
Some are co-ed.
10
SPEAKER_03
Oh, good.
10
SPEAKER_03
And then there are some all-female ones as well.
10
SPEAKER_03
Okay, so no Illuminati, which we like.
10
SPEAKER_01
No to Illuminati.
10
SPEAKER_01
Vote with your pocketbook.
10
SPEAKER_03
If there is an Illuminati, I don t want to take myself out of the running for it, so I m not here to dismiss it.
10
SPEAKER_01
So you would wanna be a member of the Illuminati?
10
SPEAKER_01
Of course.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
10
SPEAKER_03
If they ll have me.
10
SPEAKER_01
Why, yeah, they d be a feather in their cap to have you.
10
SPEAKER_03
Well, that would be nice, but I blab too, a lot.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
Probably more than you.
10
SPEAKER_01
You and Liz will get going on something and then.
10
SPEAKER_03
Well, me and you, me and her, me and David, we all talk.
10
SPEAKER_01
Right.
10
SPEAKER_03
We all talk.
10
SPEAKER_01
David in particular, he s like sniffing around everything.
10
SPEAKER_01
He s a journalist.
10
SPEAKER_01
If he gets winded that you re in the Illuminati, he ll be on that like a dog on a bone.
10
SPEAKER_01
There s gonna be a web worm about it really quickly.
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, exactly.
10
SPEAKER_03
Fuck.
10
SPEAKER_03
Who do you think, okay, well, we shouldn t play this game, but I wanna play it.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, great, let s play it.
10
SPEAKER_03
If we could make our own Illuminati of 10 members, or let s make it seven, eight.
10
SPEAKER_01
That sounds arbitrary, seven.
10
SPEAKER_03
Well, because 10 felt like we might take too long.
10
SPEAKER_01
And we re not counting us two as?
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, we re gonna remove ourselves.
10
SPEAKER_03
Seven people who we would be happy with to have some sort of structure that s in charge.
10
SPEAKER_01
I m gonna throw out a couple names that I believe you ll agree with.
10
SPEAKER_01
I ll start with who I think you ll co-sign up.
10
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
10
SPEAKER_01
Bill Gates.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
He s the most informed on every single topic in the world.
10
SPEAKER_03
The reason I know this is a bad game is because people are like, he is, he already is.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh sure, yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
I can t help those people.
10
SPEAKER_03
We can t, okay, so Bill.
10
SPEAKER_01
Bill, David Sedaris.
10
SPEAKER_03
Oh, okay.
10
SPEAKER_01
Thousand fucking percent we need his point of view to check us and be sarcastic at all times.
10
SPEAKER_03
For sure, but like for rule making and stuff?
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
We need diversity of opinion.
10
SPEAKER_03
I agree.
10
SPEAKER_01
And uber intelligence.
10
SPEAKER_01
And we need to laugh a bit, because the world s a funny and tragic place.
10
SPEAKER_03
It is.
10
SPEAKER_01
We need David.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
10
SPEAKER_01
John Batiste.
10
SPEAKER_03
Oh, wow.
10
SPEAKER_01
You re worried I m chalking a full artist, but don t worry.
10
SPEAKER_03
You re also just putting your favorite people, which, okay, okay.
10
SPEAKER_01
These are people I think should, these are people whose souls I trust to run the world.
10
SPEAKER_03
I think John is an angel and he s dropped down to change us via music.
10
SPEAKER_01
But to be in that- That s a great point.
10
SPEAKER_01
But I ll make an argument for why he should stay.
10
SPEAKER_01
He could bring out the best in us by playing piano while we debate these things.
10
SPEAKER_01
He could take us on spiritual and emotional journeys.
10
SPEAKER_01
And it could turn out that he really 2X d our output and our clarity by the impact he had on our bodies while we did our thinking and debating.
10
SPEAKER_03
Okay, so he s gonna play for us while we debate.
10
SPEAKER_01
Well, he is going to respond to the debate he s hearing in the way he knows how.
10
SPEAKER_01
And he ll have a clarity.
10
SPEAKER_01
That is a genius I think he has.
10
SPEAKER_02
For sure.
10
SPEAKER_01
He could hear an emotion.
11
SPEAKER_00
that s in the room, and then he has a clarity to transmit that through sound.
11
SPEAKER_01
I agree with that.
11
SPEAKER_00
And then we might all then be able to lock on to that clarity of emotion.
11
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_00
It could help us in the same way that Charles Duhigg, he would tell us which of the three conversations we re actually having.
11
SPEAKER_00
I see.
11
SPEAKER_00
Okay, I like it.
11
SPEAKER_00
Okay, he could be really instrumental, pun intended, to... The outcome.
11
SPEAKER_00
The outcome.
11
SPEAKER_01
Okay, I m back, I m with you.
11
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so you give me three, and then we ll maybe hish hash about a seven.
11
SPEAKER_01
Okay, I like those three.
11
SPEAKER_01
I m gonna add, can we have ghosts, or?
11
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no.
11
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
11
SPEAKER_01
I won t add Taylor, but I want to.
11
SPEAKER_01
But I m not gonna.
11
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_01
But I want to.
11
SPEAKER_00
I know, I know.
11
SPEAKER_00
Because you just want a friend in the group.
11
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no, no, no.
11
SPEAKER_01
Because she s so... She s the most powerful person in the United States right now.
11
SPEAKER_01
I believe that.
11
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_01
But she s busy, and I also don t think she ll be able to commit.
11
SPEAKER_00
Right.
11
SPEAKER_01
So I m gonna pick Tina Fey.
11
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_01
I m adding Tina to the list.
11
SPEAKER_00
She s in the Sedaris kind of same?
11
SPEAKER_01
No, she s not there to make us laugh.
11
SPEAKER_01
She s so brilliant, but she s doing more and more, like she s not being very vocal, but she has a ton of very smart, interesting opinions.
11
SPEAKER_01
So in our group, she could share what needs to be done and how, but without being forward facing.
11
SPEAKER_00
You know why she s a good pick is she has proven that she can be productive in a shared space with other writers.
11
SPEAKER_01
That s also true.
11
SPEAKER_00
Some of these folks are gonna be hard.
11
SPEAKER_00
Elon Musk has a brilliance, no question.
11
SPEAKER_00
If we need someone who s designing the future, he s the obvious heir apparent, but I don t think he works in a group.
11
SPEAKER_01
We can t have anyone so rogue.
11
SPEAKER_01
Like, the people we re picking have to be like- Cooperative.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and a little more centered.
11
SPEAKER_00
Well, that s my point, is I don t think he s a great working, sharing all these responsibilities.
11
SPEAKER_00
But I do, and this is where we might differ, and there might be a lot of fights about this.
11
SPEAKER_00
I m not gonna be picking people because I agree with them, or politically I m in line with them.
11
SPEAKER_00
Like, I m gonna try to pick people who actually know an enormous sector of how the world works, and they need to be on it.
11
SPEAKER_00
You know.
11
SPEAKER_01
I get that.
11
SPEAKER_00
because it s getting real pragmatic.
11
SPEAKER_00
The 10 of us are gonna run the world.
11
SPEAKER_00
Someone has to know how to clean sanitation.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yes, and how banking systems work.
11
SPEAKER_01
I mean, they mainly need to know who to appoint.
11
SPEAKER_01
That to me is the job of the president, which is, I guess, our job now as the Illuminati, is to know who to pick to head up things.
11
SPEAKER_01
So you personally don t have to have all the knowledge on sanitation.
11
SPEAKER_01
But you have to know who does and who will run it in a way that is in keeping with how we want the world run.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
11
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, because I don t think I want to put any sanitation people in right now.
11
SPEAKER_01
It s limited space.
11
SPEAKER_00
No, but again, back to Bill, why I like Bill is he has a complete understanding of that global health situation.
11
SPEAKER_00
What s killing us at the greatest numbers.
11
SPEAKER_00
He s worked with all the experts in that.
11
SPEAKER_00
He knows how to deal with one of the biggest problems, which is clean water and sanitation.
11
SPEAKER_00
Energy is another thing, and he s got that locked down.
11
SPEAKER_00
He understands global warming better than anyone.
11
SPEAKER_00
He s got a big old understanding of most of the
11
SPEAKER_00
He does, yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
Columns.
11
SPEAKER_01
I guess we should put Yuval in.
11
SPEAKER_00
Great, great, great, great.
11
SPEAKER_00
I sign off in a second on that.
11
SPEAKER_01
But we need some more women.
11
SPEAKER_00
Okay, we ve got two.
11
SPEAKER_01
We have Tina and me.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, we need more.
11
SPEAKER_01
We need the rest to be women.
11
SPEAKER_01
If we could do, is Griselda alive?
11
SPEAKER_00
I don t think she s with us anymore, yeah.
11
SPEAKER_00
That would be a good pick, though.
11
SPEAKER_00
Like someone who knows how to fucking get shit done.
11
SPEAKER_00
Like a Martha Stewart.
11
SPEAKER_01
I think she might be, yeah, Oprah s a good one.
11
SPEAKER_01
Marty is probably not good, because I think she s probably gonna be gun shy after her time in jail.
11
SPEAKER_00
I m trying to remember the woman.
11
SPEAKER_00
Her specialty wasn t crows, but she told us a lot about crows, because her husband was into crows.
11
SPEAKER_00
Lenore Scanese?
11
SPEAKER_00
Yes, yes, she was incredible.
11
SPEAKER_00
I found her to be very impressive.
11
SPEAKER_00
Good memory, Lenore Scanese.
11
SPEAKER_00
I liked Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...Wu...W
11
SPEAKER_00
and go like, congratulations, you ve been selected to be a member of the 10 person Illuminati.
11
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
11
SPEAKER_00
If they were worth their salt, their very first order of business would be to kick the three of us out of it.
11
SPEAKER_01
I mean, of course, of course.
11
SPEAKER_00
It s also very American.
11
SPEAKER_00
We ve assembled a very American Illuminati.
11
SPEAKER_01
That s true, but we don t know a lot.
11
SPEAKER_00
No, but clearly we got to get like,
11
SPEAKER_00
You know, I get someone from India, someone from China.
11
SPEAKER_01
Fine, why don t we, this is an American, the American sector.
11
SPEAKER_00
Does that mean Yuval has to leave?
11
SPEAKER_00
He s a citizen of the world, Rob.
11
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_01
We ll come back to it.
11
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so this is for Camilla.
11
SPEAKER_00
Oh, so much fun.
11
SPEAKER_01
So much fun.
11
SPEAKER_01
So how much money did the Modern Family cast make?
11
SPEAKER_01
The adult cast members by the last season are making $500,000.
11
SPEAKER_00
Per episode.
11
SPEAKER_00
But to remind people, the big showdown wasn t about the per episode salary.
11
SPEAKER_00
It was they all united and didn t show up to work to get points.
11
SPEAKER_00
And that ended up in court.
11
SPEAKER_00
That actually got litigated, I think.
11
SPEAKER_00
So they all have ownership over that syndication money.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, which is huge.
11
SPEAKER_01
I thought it was interesting when we were talking about how Americans view family versus other cultures.
11
SPEAKER_00
The Brazilians.
11
SPEAKER_01
And just a lot of other cultures.
11
SPEAKER_01
She s Brazilian, but it s definitely translates to India.
11
SPEAKER_01
And Ana and I have talked a lot about it, too.
11
SPEAKER_01
I mean, she s from Venezuela.
11
SPEAKER_01
So there was there s an article about how Americans view family.
11
SPEAKER_01
And this breaks it down into two tenets.
11
SPEAKER_01
One, that Americans are typically
11
SPEAKER_01
pretty individualistic.
11
SPEAKER_00
Of course.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_00
Even the notion of boundaries is so individualistic.
11
SPEAKER_00
It is, it is.
11
SPEAKER_00
I have a boundary around me.
11
SPEAKER_00
I m an individual thing.
11
SPEAKER_01
And yeah, it affects where families choose to live.
11
SPEAKER_01
Many families will choose a location that provides the best career opportunities, even if this means they must live far away from their extended family.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think I love my family very high on the scale.
11
SPEAKER_00
And I got the fuck out of there.
11
SPEAKER_00
It wasn t even something I had to debate.
11
SPEAKER_00
Am I breaking anyone s heart by moving 3,000 miles away?
11
SPEAKER_00
Didn t even think about it.
11
SPEAKER_00
No, no, I clearly have an obligation to go pursue this.
11
SPEAKER_00
That s that.
11
SPEAKER_01
Right, I know, it is so different.
11
SPEAKER_00
And if they love me as my family, that s exactly what they would want from me.
11
SPEAKER_01
But it also is, it s ironic because these other cultures, or I guess I ll just speak for Indian cultures, it s so family-based.
11
SPEAKER_01
But also people leave the country and then they never really, like barely ever see them again.
11
SPEAKER_00
Am I wrong?
11
SPEAKER_00
I know this is certainly how it works with a lot of the migrant workforce that comes up from Mexico.
11
SPEAKER_00
They do send a couple solely to send money back to the family.
11
SPEAKER_00
Like ultimately it really is about the family.
11
SPEAKER_00
It s not about them starting a new life in America.
11
SPEAKER_00
In fact, I remember Bree worked with a couple of different guys at this restaurant and they were sending their money back a ton.
11
SPEAKER_00
And then they just had a number that they were trying to hit.
11
SPEAKER_00
And the second they did, they were all going home.
11
SPEAKER_00
Like they were gonna reunite with their families and then they would be all set.
11
SPEAKER_01
That s interesting, yeah.
11
SPEAKER_00
There s some crazy story, do you know this one?
11
SPEAKER_00
I wanna say it s about, oh fuck, I wish I could remember the name of who the actor was, but there s some crazy story about some famous actress s housekeeper had been with her for like 30 plus years and had built a replica of the house.
11
SPEAKER_00
the actor s house in Mexico, and at a certain point.
11
SPEAKER_01
Wait, I feel like I ve heard this too.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and then at a certain point, retired, moved there, and then the actress went broke and ended up moving to Mexico to live in the replica of her house.
11
SPEAKER_00
Does this sound familiar?
11
SPEAKER_01
I think maybe you told me.
11
SPEAKER_00
Oh man, I feel like maybe Kimmel knows this story.
11
SPEAKER_00
I don t know, I m gonna ask.
11
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna ask real time.
11
SPEAKER_00
Please.
11
SPEAKER_00
Okay, let s see.
12
SPEAKER_00
I m sure he s busy.
12
SPEAKER_00
Hey, I have this weird memory that there was some famous actress who had a housekeeper who lived with her for decades and then had saved all of her money and built a replica of the actress s house in Mexico, then retired and went to that house in Mexico and then the actress went bankrupt and then she ended up moving in with the housekeeper in Mexico.
12
SPEAKER_00
Do you know this story and you know who the players are?
12
SPEAKER_00
I feel like you would know it.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay, we ll see how that goes.
12
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
12
SPEAKER_00
Google doesn t have anything.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
12
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so yes, so pretty individualistic.
12
SPEAKER_01
It says most Americans will date many people before they choose someone to marry.
12
SPEAKER_01
Furthermore, most Americans will choose the partner that makes them the happiest or the partner that they feel most emotionally and physically connected to.
12
SPEAKER_01
Their choice to marry has little to do with family alliances or even their parents  impression of their chosen partner.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
Okay, let s see.
12
SPEAKER_01
American parents are expected to save money for their own retirement so as not to be a financial burden to their children when their health begins to decline in old age.
12
SPEAKER_01
Many adult children do not have the time to meet all their elderly parents  needs and will sometimes place them in elderly care facilities.
12
SPEAKER_01
The second attribute common to most American families is the concept of the nuclear family.
12
SPEAKER_01
The nuclear family includes a married couple and their children.
12
SPEAKER_01
Most Americans live with their nuclear family and only see their extended family a few times a year.
12
SPEAKER_01
While this is true of most white American families, many African American and Latino families live with or near their extended families.
12
SPEAKER_01
In these cultures, extended family and community ties tend to be stronger.
12
SPEAKER_00
It is funny.
12
SPEAKER_00
I think we all just go out and chase all this individual glory, and then I don t know that it results in elevated happiness than being with your family.
12
SPEAKER_01
I know.
12
SPEAKER_01
Well, yeah, I mean, like my brother was living with my parents for so long and it was just like, oh, like he s gotta get out of there.
12
SPEAKER_01
He s gotta go for me.
12
SPEAKER_01
I mean, that was my opinion on it.
12
SPEAKER_01
You know, my parents liked it.
12
SPEAKER_00
Of course.
12
SPEAKER_01
And of course they did.
12
SPEAKER_00
And they re from a culture where that s not a given that he should be leaving.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
And I, and like now currently he s not there and, and I, and,
12
SPEAKER_00
You wanna move home?
12
SPEAKER_01
Well, I just feel like it s sad for them.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yes, of course.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you have kids and then you have to make your whole life about them.
12
SPEAKER_00
They get up and they walk out at one point.
12
SPEAKER_00
It s pretty stork.
12
SPEAKER_01
Tragic, really.
12
SPEAKER_01
Okay, the NYU admission cost currently is $58,000.
12
SPEAKER_01
And that s tuition.
12
SPEAKER_01
And then other costs, books and on-campus room and board, $23,000.
12
SPEAKER_01
So average cost before aid, $82,000.
12
SPEAKER_01
Even average cost after aid is $39,000.
12
SPEAKER_00
Wait, average cost after eight?
12
SPEAKER_00
Aid.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh, aid is $39,000.
12
SPEAKER_00
Still so much.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, how on earth does your average American- We can t.
12
SPEAKER_00
They would have had to squirrel away $320,000 for a four-year degree.
12
SPEAKER_01
That s why everyone does- That s kind of criminal.
12
SPEAKER_01
Loans, and then they re paying them back for the rest of their life.
12
SPEAKER_00
400 grand?
12
SPEAKER_00
Buy a rat house instead and read books.
12
SPEAKER_01
I know.
12
SPEAKER_01
Well, that s what my parents said.
12
SPEAKER_01
They were like, we re not doing that.
12
SPEAKER_00
Right.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
Good for them.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
But a lot of states don t have good in-state tuition, right?
12
SPEAKER_00
I mean, this Georgia thing you got was, that s lucky you lived in a state that had that.
12
SPEAKER_01
It is, I mean, that was free, but it s still, in-state tuition is always gonna be not astronomical.
12
SPEAKER_01
I mean, NYU s a private school, that s why.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay, okay.
12
SPEAKER_00
They re just willy-nilly using New York.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you can do whatever you want.
12
SPEAKER_00
Could you do University of Los Angeles, California?
12
SPEAKER_01
Wait, what?
12
SPEAKER_00
Instead of University of California Los Angeles.
12
SPEAKER_00
So it would be ULA?
12
SPEAKER_00
UCLA is a, you know, that s a state distinction.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
But LA.
12
SPEAKER_00
U-L-A-C.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it d be U-L-A-C.
12
SPEAKER_01
And if there s a University of Los Angeles, Michigan, it d be U-L-A-M.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I love that.
12
SPEAKER_00
University of Los Angeles, Michigan.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
I do remember being very confused in the 90s when I started seeing University of Phoenix in California and all over the country.
12
SPEAKER_00
Sure.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
I m like, what?
12
SPEAKER_00
How is this happening?
12
SPEAKER_01
And people would say U-LAM.
12
SPEAKER_00
What s that?
12
SPEAKER_01
University of Los Angeles, Michigan.
12
SPEAKER_01
Oh, okay.
12
SPEAKER_00
They call it U-Lamb.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay, yeah, that s cute.
12
SPEAKER_00
It s also what they pledged.
12
SPEAKER_00
They pledged U-Lamb.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and their secret society s there.
12
SPEAKER_00
Is the lambs.
12
SPEAKER_00
Arr.
12
Oh my goodness.
12
SPEAKER_01
Lambs are gentle.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yes, extremely.
12
SPEAKER_00
They re not threatening at all.
12
SPEAKER_01
Oh, should we talk about how, this just reminded me, because animals and being gentle.
12
SPEAKER_01
Whiskey bit me.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah, that s a while back.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
But I hadn t talked about it.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
Well, I got another whiskey update that we can make a meal out of this.
12
SPEAKER_00
So first say what you tell everyone about your attack.
12
SPEAKER_01
OK.
12
SPEAKER_00
If you re comfortable.
12
SPEAKER_01
Well, I was petting Whiskey and he loved it.
12
SPEAKER_01
And then I stopped and I was talking to you and then I went back and started petting again and he freaked, he just jumped up and bit my hand.
12
SPEAKER_01
And it was so startling.
12
SPEAKER_00
That it scared you.
12
SPEAKER_01
It really scared me.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and hurt your feelings quite bad.
12
SPEAKER_01
And it did hurt my feelings and I cried.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
And then, wait, one more part.
12
SPEAKER_01
You know, I was like, ah, this, I hate dogs.
12
SPEAKER_01
And everyone always tries to get you to like dogs.
12
SPEAKER_01
And then you decide to do it and then they bite you.
12
SPEAKER_01
And that s cruel to do.
12
SPEAKER_01
And then the next day I was leaving here and Carly was with Whiskey in the yard and Whiskey comes like running up.
12
SPEAKER_00
Excitedly?
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and I looked at him and I said, I m still mad at you.
12
SPEAKER_00
Right, yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
And then I felt guilty.
12
SPEAKER_00
Because he doesn t really have a memory.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, he didn t know.
12
SPEAKER_00
You know, they re like humans in that we learn each other s triggers.
12
SPEAKER_00
So his thing is if he s laying down on a bed and you go to touch him, he has that reaction.
12
SPEAKER_01
But I already was.
12
SPEAKER_00
I know, but he had stopped, and then he probably like entered a tiny bit of a sleep or something.
12
SPEAKER_00
And then when he gets startled like that, that s one of his things, which is very unfortunate.
12
SPEAKER_00
I don t even know why I m defending him, because I m about to tell you a story where I wanted to absolutely kill him, which was Valentine s Day.
12
SPEAKER_00
Kids bring home box of chocolates.
12
SPEAKER_00
This is an age-old tale.
12
SPEAKER_00
We have dinner, it s fun, it s Valentine s, so I spoiled them.
12
SPEAKER_00
What do you want?
12
SPEAKER_00
Sky s the limit.
12
SPEAKER_00
We ended up getting McDonald s.
12
SPEAKER_00
And Domino s has lava-filled cakes.
12
SPEAKER_00
Do you know this?
12
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wow, no.
12
SPEAKER_00
They re insane, as you would expect.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
12
SPEAKER_00
So that was the menu.
12
SPEAKER_00
What a party, you know?
12
SPEAKER_00
What a party for everyone.
12
SPEAKER_00
go upstairs, everyone s happy, Valentine s Day.
12
SPEAKER_00
And then I hear screaming and panic.
12
SPEAKER_00
They go into the bedroom and Whiskey has eaten every single chocolate in a huge box of chocolates.
12
SPEAKER_00
And now all three gals are like really, instantly atomic bomb, right?
12
SPEAKER_00
He s gonna die, we need hydrogen peroxide.
12
SPEAKER_00
Where s hydrogen peroxide?
12
SPEAKER_00
I m like, I don t know where hydrogen.
12
SPEAKER_00
Now Kristen s going to the neighbors to get a bottle of hydrogen peroxide barefoot.
12
SPEAKER_00
You know, hold the dog, he s gonna die.
12
SPEAKER_00
And they come back, and then we go, eyedropper, how many eyedrops, it s supposed to give two teaspoons.
12
SPEAKER_00
I m like, in my mind, I m like, I don t know what a fucking teaspoon is, I don t know how many droppers.
12
SPEAKER_00
So I go downstairs, I get a teaspoon.
12
SPEAKER_00
I don t know, you look at the acronym for these, they could do better between tablespoons and teaspoons.
12
SPEAKER_00
And also, just write it!
12
SPEAKER_00
There s room to write it.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so now I m bringing up all these measuring fucking spoons.
12
SPEAKER_00
There is no teaspoon one, there s a quarter teaspoon.
12
SPEAKER_00
So now I m doing four into, oh my God, this is madness.
12
SPEAKER_00
Four into a tablespoon and then taking the eyedropper and sucking out and see how many sucks I have to get before I ve gotten to a teaspoon.
12
SPEAKER_00
So I determine we ve got to do
12
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what it was, eight eyedroppers of hydrogen peroxide down.
12
SPEAKER_00
So she s holding him, and if you think he was biting you, I mean, he is going berserk, right?
12
SPEAKER_00
He is hard to handle.
12
SPEAKER_00
Biting, she s holding him, go, go, go.
12
SPEAKER_00
And I m trying to get this fucking eyedropper of the hydrogen peroxide down his thing.
12
SPEAKER_00
And it s like, I don t know, we get eight, how much got down the throat?
12
SPEAKER_00
Set him in the bathtub, wait to see if he s gonna throw up, doesn t.
12
SPEAKER_00
Then we decide, fuck this, we gotta just pour it in his mouth.
12
SPEAKER_00
What is so cute and funny, and I feel bad for him,
12
SPEAKER_00
He has no idea what this stuff is, he likes it.
12
SPEAKER_01
Of course he likes it.
12
SPEAKER_00
Once we start pouring it directly.
13
SPEAKER_00
into his mouth, like forget the eyedropper, he was like.
13
SPEAKER_00
He s just drinking hydrogen peroxide, so I think it tastes good going down.
13
SPEAKER_00
But then, so now he s drank God knows how much, certainly more than two tablespoons, but we looked up can a dog die from drinking too much hydrogen peroxide, no.
13
SPEAKER_00
So it s like now you re weighing the chocolate versus the hydrogen peroxide.
13
SPEAKER_00
So anyways, we get a good deal of hydrogen peroxide in the dog, then the dog s taken to the girls  bathroom, in the tub, and then I sat this part out.
13
SPEAKER_00
That was enough.
13
SPEAKER_00
drama for me.
13
SPEAKER_00
I just kind of shut down on my bed.
13
SPEAKER_00
I m leaving out that the girls got in an incredible fight because whose fault was it?
13
SPEAKER_00
The chocolate on the ground.
13
SPEAKER_00
Now I hear, you know, once in every 40, 30 fights, I hear F-bombs.
13
SPEAKER_00
Like that s when I know things are really popping off and it s usually D-money, let s be honest.
13
SPEAKER_00
So I hear in there like, it s all my fucking fault.
13
SPEAKER_00
By the way, it s just so funny how accurately she always uses it.
13
SPEAKER_00
It never sounds like a kid using it.
13
SPEAKER_00
She s like right on with it.
13
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
13
SPEAKER_00
So she s in there dropping F-bombs.
13
SPEAKER_00
I m doing an eyedropper in the dog s mouth.
13
SPEAKER_00
The whole thing.
13
SPEAKER_00
I then just laid down in bed.
13
SPEAKER_00
I was like, I need to dematerialize.
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_00
Apparently I did not observe this but then he let it rip in the bathtub, right?
13
SPEAKER_00
And there was just according to all of them an impossible amount of chocolate.
13
SPEAKER_00
Oh my god Yes, so much chocolate Like probably there would have been an issue.
13
SPEAKER_01
So he would have died, you know likely Wow, how long does it take
13
SPEAKER_00
For the throw up?
13
SPEAKER_01
No.
13
SPEAKER_00
For the death?
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
13
SPEAKER_00
Generally when you re like, you re in that panic.
13
SPEAKER_00
By the way, this is not my first rodeo with a dog eating chocolate.
13
SPEAKER_00
I ve now been around dogs for 17 years and they, they get into chocolate.
13
SPEAKER_00
That s what they do.
13
SPEAKER_00
Right.
13
SPEAKER_01
I ve heard if they have a little, it s like fine.
13
SPEAKER_00
I think, okay, great.
13
SPEAKER_00
So here s what I m like, mostly I ve heard people are overreacting to it.
13
SPEAKER_00
And it really has to be really high cocoa content chocolate.
13
SPEAKER_00
It has to be really dark chocolate and a lot of it.
13
SPEAKER_00
So as everyone s panicking, I of course want to, I m trying, what I want to tell them is like, guys, slow down.
13
SPEAKER_00
It s probably, let s just be realistic.
13
SPEAKER_00
Probably wasn t that dark a chocolate.
13
SPEAKER_00
He probably didn t even, you know.
13
SPEAKER_00
But I knew that now s not the time.
13
SPEAKER_00
We gotta do all the stuff.
13
SPEAKER_00
And then I just participated.
13
SPEAKER_00
So I missed the big throw up and everything.
13
SPEAKER_00
And then, truth be told, I just stayed in that bed for the rest of the moon.
13
SPEAKER_01
That feels fine.
13
SPEAKER_01
I get that.
13
SPEAKER_00
It takes six to 12 hours.
13
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
13
SPEAKER_00
Oh, so you get a little bit of time.
13
SPEAKER_01
But like, if it happened in the night.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13
SPEAKER_01
That s scary.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_00
You know, then we put him to bed at night, and it is a little bit like saying goodnight to someone who got a concussion.
13
SPEAKER_00
Like, you are a little bit fingers crossed who knows what ll happen in the middle of the night.
13
SPEAKER_01
Oh my god.
13
SPEAKER_00
And then after that night we just had with him, it was a push for me one way or another, whether he passed peacefully in his sleep or he woke up.
13
SPEAKER_00
I don t know, I think this is a very male thing.
13
SPEAKER_00
It s just like when you have some variable in your house that makes everyone go crazy, I have like such a caveman response, which is like, well, get rid of that variable.
13
SPEAKER_00
This is pandemonium.
13
SPEAKER_00
Oh, Monica, I m trying.
13
SPEAKER_00
You know, he s got a new routine.
13
SPEAKER_01
I see you re very sweet with him.
13
SPEAKER_00
He s got a new routine, which is like, he wants to get on the bed.
13
SPEAKER_00
Bark, bark, bark.
13
SPEAKER_00
You know, I m meditating and he comes back.
13
SPEAKER_00
barks the whole time I m meditating.
13
SPEAKER_00
I fucking put him on the bed, I m meditating, he jumps off for God knows what reason.
13
SPEAKER_00
And then four minutes later, and I m like, oh my God, I wanna go like fucking stay on the bed or stay off the bed.
13
SPEAKER_00
And then half the time, I just, I m not gonna pick him up.
13
SPEAKER_00
So I m just sitting there meditating while a dog barks.
13
SPEAKER_00
It barks as loud as it can.
13
SPEAKER_00
Two feet from me.
13
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, this is madness.
13
SPEAKER_00
This is where I get very self-centered.
13
SPEAKER_00
I m like, why am I in a situation where I can t meditate?
13
SPEAKER_00
That seems crazy.
13
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what it is.
13
SPEAKER_00
It used to be you had to put him on the bed and he d stay there.
13
SPEAKER_00
That s out the window now.
13
SPEAKER_00
He needs to get down all the time.
13
SPEAKER_00
And it s just, it s madness.
13
SPEAKER_01
He s probably practicing.
13
SPEAKER_00
His quick escape.
13
SPEAKER_00
He s just trying to stay athletic.
13
SPEAKER_01
It s his time to work out.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_00
I think mentally he hangs on by a thread, if I m being honest.
13
SPEAKER_00
He s very depressed, I think.
13
SPEAKER_00
He s only got three legs, just to remind the listener.
13
SPEAKER_00
Whiskey s downright.
13
SPEAKER_00
So he s got a lot of...
13
SPEAKER_00
you know, from one trauma boy to another, I should be a little more competitive.
13
SPEAKER_00
And I think I am.
13
SPEAKER_01
You are, you are.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but he s been fucking pushing it, you know?
13
SPEAKER_00
It s time for me to say as a non-codependent, like, you need to get engaged in the fight here and try to get some help.
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but it s just like he doesn t know thoughts.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, he doesn t know how to think.
13
SPEAKER_01
It s like a big problem.
13
SPEAKER_00
It s a major obstacle for him doing any self-analysis.
13
SPEAKER_00
I might introduce booze to the situation because as many alcoholics will tell you, the medicine works for a period.
13
SPEAKER_00
It works for a long time, or can.
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_00
And he s only gonna live another, I don t know, God.
13
SPEAKER_00
I was thinking about that during the night of, he s not an old dog, right?
13
SPEAKER_01
No, he has a while.
13
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, there could be 13 more years of this.
13
SPEAKER_00
And slow decline towards the end.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, this is how he s acting at his fucking peak physical and mental prowess.
13
SPEAKER_00
God knows what shape he ll be in in eight years.
13
SPEAKER_01
Well, he might just chill out, though.
13
SPEAKER_01
I feel like some of these dogs just chill out.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, part of it is, yeah, he responds to any noise he hears in the yard and this and that.
13
SPEAKER_00
But anyways, so maybe I start giving him a can of beer every night.
13
SPEAKER_01
Let s try it.
13
SPEAKER_00
Let s try it.
13
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
13
SPEAKER_01
The name of the negging book is The Game.
13
SPEAKER_01
Ah, The Game.
13
SPEAKER_01
Penetrating the secret society of pickup artists.
13
SPEAKER_00
Alternative title, How to Be a Piece of Shit.
13
SPEAKER_01
Basically.
13
SPEAKER_01
Okay, the Alexander Technique.
13
SPEAKER_01
I m gonna read a little bit about it.
13
SPEAKER_00
Well, I want you to and I don t want you to, because I have so much fun with what I think it is, and probably it s not what I think it is.
13
SPEAKER_01
I know.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_01
I guess I won t.
13
SPEAKER_00
I ll let it be.
13
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no, no, read it, read it, read it, read it.
13
SPEAKER_00
No, no, I ll let it be.
13
SPEAKER_00
No, read, I can handle it.
13
SPEAKER_01
And then people can look it up, but.
13
SPEAKER_00
It s not breathing in each other s mouths in sweatpants.
13
SPEAKER_01
I mean.
13
SPEAKER_00
Not really, but that could be a part.
13
SPEAKER_01
I m not saying that didn t happen.
13
SPEAKER_00
No, no.
13
SPEAKER_00
I was just teasing that.
13
SPEAKER_00
I don t want to know for real.
13
SPEAKER_00
Please tell us what it is.
13
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
13
SPEAKER_01
The Alexander technique is a type of alternative therapy based on the idea that poor posture gives rise to a range of health problems.
13
SPEAKER_01
Classifies it as psychological and physical, complimentary approach to health when used together with mainstream methods.
13
SPEAKER_00
So it s not even specifically for acting.
13
SPEAKER_01
It s like for movement class.
13
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
13
SPEAKER_01
Like it s connecting to your body.
13
SPEAKER_00
It s like a health.
13
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it started as that, I guess.
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_01
But then act, I guess actors use it to like get into their body.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_00
Get horny.
13
SPEAKER_01
Um,
13
SPEAKER_01
maybe help her for long-term back pain, for long-term neck pain.
13
SPEAKER_00
So you think about scoliosis?
13
SPEAKER_01
Well, Parkinson s.
13
SPEAKER_01
Okay, the method.
13
SPEAKER_01
Most commonly taught in a series of private lessons, which may last from 30 minutes to an hour.
13
SPEAKER_01
The number of lessons varies widely depending on the student s needs and level of interest.
13
SPEAKER_01
Students are often performers such as actors, dancers, musicians, athletes, and public speakers, people who work on computers, or those who are in frequent pain for other reasons.
13
SPEAKER_01
Instructors observe their students and provide both verbal and gentle manual guidance
13
SPEAKER_01
to help students learn how to move with better poise and less strain.
13
SPEAKER_01
Sessions include chair work, often in front of a mirror, during which the instructor will guide the student while the student stands, sits, and walks, learning to move efficiently while maintaining a comfortable relationship between the head, neck, and spine, and table work or physical manipulation.
13
SPEAKER_01
That s what I remember.
13
SPEAKER_01
I remember having like sit in a chair and then like stand up.
13
SPEAKER_01
But I guess at NYU, maybe there s more.
13
SPEAKER_00
I think there s a lot of laying on each other and breathing in each other s mouths.
13
SPEAKER_01
There definitely could be.
13
SPEAKER_00
I think it d be safe to guess that an Alexander instructor would be very against the chair that we sit in.
13
SPEAKER_01
Very.
13
SPEAKER_00
For our job.
13
SPEAKER_01
Very.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_00
It requires zero posture, which is why I like it.
13
SPEAKER_01
I know.
13
SPEAKER_01
And it s, I feel it.
13
SPEAKER_01
Like I am so slumpy.
13
SPEAKER_00
I have a thing.
13
SPEAKER_00
You know what I do in the sauna?
13
SPEAKER_00
This, this started about, I don t know, eight, nine months ago.
13
SPEAKER_00
Now I have to sit completely erect for the 28 minutes.
13
SPEAKER_00
My posture, my back is erect.
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SPEAKER_00
I can t lean on anything.
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SPEAKER_00
I just have to be directly sitting up straight.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
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SPEAKER_00
And what s funny is the hard part of the sauna is no longer the heat.
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SPEAKER_00
It s just getting through the 26.
13
SPEAKER_01
Do you feel like it s gotten easier?
13
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
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SPEAKER_00
To the point where I was doing it last night and I thought, is it time to try to do it while I meditate?
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SPEAKER_00
I do feel like to be my best self, I should probably be not using anything to lean on while I meditate.
13
SPEAKER_00
So that s probably next.
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SPEAKER_01
To be your best self is to just do the meditation that feels best to you.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but I m always trying to improve myself.
13
SPEAKER_00
Right.
13
SPEAKER_00
So it s like before I couldn t.
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SPEAKER_00
I remember when I started this thing in the sauna, doing five minutes without leaning on something straight up and down was brutal.
13
SPEAKER_00
Right now, I.
14
SPEAKER_00
I don t start getting bothered until like 15 minutes into it.
14
SPEAKER_01
That s really good.
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SPEAKER_00
So then I thought, well fuck, if I could do it in the morning for 20 minutes when I meditate and then 26, 28 minutes at night in the sauna, I bet pretty soon I wouldn t even notice that I have to do it.
14
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, as long as you re not sacrificing your meditation that you like so much.
14
SPEAKER_00
Right, I wouldn t want to prioritize that.
14
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, also you have scoliosis now, so you have to be a little careful.
14
SPEAKER_00
Well, but I ve always had it though, I just remember that.
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SPEAKER_01
I think you got it maybe in this last eight months because of your posture.
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SPEAKER_00
I don t know if that s it.
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SPEAKER_00
But you know, similarly, I hiked yesterday.
14
SPEAKER_01
Oh yes, an armcherry saw me after she saw you.
14
SPEAKER_00
Oh really?
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SPEAKER_00
Because one armcherry, like, I was listening to my earpods, but my buds, because I ve made my Air Max s stink too much from hiking.
14
SPEAKER_00
That s a whole other fact check.
14
SPEAKER_00
Apple, if you re listening, sell replacement donuts.
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SPEAKER_01
I think that should be.
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SPEAKER_00
Sell them, because when I go on Amazon, I can only find third-party makers of them.
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SPEAKER_00
I ve ordered them.
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SPEAKER_00
I don t like them.
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SPEAKER_00
Make those available.
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SPEAKER_00
They get stinky.
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SPEAKER_00
Or at least tell me how to wash them.
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SPEAKER_00
I m also curious how to wash them.
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SPEAKER_01
We looked it up, remember?
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SPEAKER_01
And there was something about, I feel like... Vinegar?
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SPEAKER_01
I want to say vinegar, but maybe I made that up.
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SPEAKER_01
But there was something... That is a cure-all for stink.
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SPEAKER_01
Well, it just makes another stink.
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SPEAKER_00
My thought was put it in the dishwasher.
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SPEAKER_00
They sell cushions.
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SPEAKER_00
That s on the Apple website?
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, 70 bucks.
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SPEAKER_00
Dude, how much?
14
69.
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SPEAKER_00
I was fucking looking on that website for days and couldn t find that.
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SPEAKER_00
Will you send me that link?
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SPEAKER_00
Mm-hmm.
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SPEAKER_00
Okay, well that solves that.
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SPEAKER_00
Great.
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SPEAKER_00
But do you think that you could put them in the dishwasher?
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SPEAKER_01
Maybe, but nope, don t put any other.
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SPEAKER_01
Like ever again.
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SPEAKER_00
Do a dry fire as they would say.
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SPEAKER_01
Do you kind of like the smell?
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SPEAKER_00
No, I wouldn t have probably noticed because I never smelled them, which is weird because I smell everything.
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SPEAKER_00
I m a gross motherfucker, so I m not even acting like.
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SPEAKER_01
No.
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SPEAKER_01
I would smell anything.
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SPEAKER_00
And if I itch my butt, I would smell my finger.
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SPEAKER_00
So I m just saying, I m not acting like I m puritanical or a prude about this.
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SPEAKER_00
It just didn t cross my mind.
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SPEAKER_00
They re on my ears.
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SPEAKER_00
But yeah, I hike in them all the time.
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SPEAKER_00
But Lincoln smelled them.
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SPEAKER_00
And she was like, oh my God, these smell so gross.
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SPEAKER_00
And then I smelled them and I had to agree, they didn t smell gross.
14
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so you were able to smell it once you smelled it.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and you know why it s not a good smell?
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SPEAKER_00
It s like an old moisture smell in a locker room.
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SPEAKER_01
It s like something s trapped.
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SPEAKER_00
It s not like BO or pooty or any other number of smells.
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SPEAKER_01
It s like when your towel gets moldy.
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SPEAKER_00
Yes, I ve never had this, but I m assuming like if someone really sweats through their socks and they smelled their sock.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh, I ve never done that either, but yeah, everyone talks about sweaty socks, but is it real?
14
SPEAKER_00
I m certainly people have really sweaty feet.
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SPEAKER_00
I don t personally.
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SPEAKER_01
They re like, Ooh, stinky socks.
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SPEAKER_00
Like I ve met, you re right.
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SPEAKER_00
My socks don t smell, but people are always good.
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SPEAKER_00
But my kids socks smell sometimes.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
They ll smell vinegary and their shoes will stink.
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SPEAKER_00
Little kids shoes stink.
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SPEAKER_00
Like this shoe, I could throw it to you right now.
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SPEAKER_00
This shoe, I just saw a photo of myself in this exact pair of Chuck Taylor All Stars.
14
SPEAKER_00
I ve had those shoes for over 14 years.
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SPEAKER_00
Smell them.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, they smell fine.
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SPEAKER_00
It s fine, right?
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SPEAKER_00
I mean, it s not like it smells great, but 14 years.
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SPEAKER_01
They don t even look dirty.
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SPEAKER_01
And you ve never cleaned them.
14
SPEAKER_00
No, I ve never cleaned them.
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SPEAKER_00
Wow.
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SPEAKER_00
You know me and my shoes, the dirtier they get, the more I like them.
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SPEAKER_00
You re very clean.
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SPEAKER_00
Let me smell them.
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SPEAKER_00
How do they smell?
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SPEAKER_00
Let me get them.
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SPEAKER_00
Send them over.
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SPEAKER_01
They could smell better.
14
SPEAKER_00
No, they smell like the fabric softener that your socks have on them.
14
SPEAKER_00
They don t smell at all, Rob.
14
SPEAKER_00
It s nice, right?
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SPEAKER_00
Perfume.
14
SPEAKER_00
That s a fun game we should play more often, tucking Monica s shoe around.
14
SPEAKER_00
Okay, well, I love you, is there any more facts?
14
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I think there might have been, let s see really quick.
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SPEAKER_01
Puce, just for people, I hope they looked it up, it s a gorgeous color, it s a pink.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s not the green shit color.
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SPEAKER_01
We thought, we thought it was a pukey color, but actually it s not, it s a beautiful pink.
14
SPEAKER_00
Should you do a wall in your new house, Pius?
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SPEAKER_00
Is there a room that would accommodate that?
14
SPEAKER_01
I think I could, I think I could.
14
SPEAKER_01
I wonder what a whole wall, if it would be overwhelming.
14
SPEAKER_00
It seems, in my recollection, when we looked it up, it s a light pink, it s not too bold.
14
SPEAKER_01
No, it s a little bit, this is.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s not very overwhelming for one wall.
14
SPEAKER_01
I wouldn t call it pastel, though, it has a pigment to it.
14
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
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SPEAKER_00
But one wall.
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SPEAKER_01
One, okay, maybe.
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SPEAKER_00
I don t know, think it over.
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SPEAKER_01
I ll think it over.
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SPEAKER_00
And you call it the pews room.
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SPEAKER_00
You re sleeping in the pews room when you have visitors.
14
SPEAKER_01
Okay, real quick, Mary Steenburgen, you know, we mentioned that she had.
14
SPEAKER_00
Synesis?
14
SPEAKER_01
No, she got like a minor surgery and then got really good at music.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I thought that was called synesthesia.
14
SPEAKER_01
Synesthesia is when you like see color, I mean.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, hear colors.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, exactly.
14
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, on People Magazine, it says, Mary Steenburgen s brain, she woke up from minor arm surgery in 2007, and her brain was only music, an odd result that led her to a new songwriting career.
14
SPEAKER_01
She said that her brain felt out of control immediately after surgery.
14
SPEAKER_01
It felt strange as soon as the anesthesia started to wear off.
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SPEAKER_01
The best way I can describe it is that it just felt like my brain was only music and that everything anybody said to me became musical.
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SPEAKER_01
All my thoughts became musical.
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SPEAKER_01
Every street sign became musical.
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SPEAKER_01
I couldn t get my mind into any other mode.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
That s nuts.
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SPEAKER_00
It is very nuts.
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SPEAKER_00
I ve talked to her about it and it s very compelling and I believe her 100%.
14
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
And then last thing, some people who have synesthesia.
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SPEAKER_00
But we re not willing to call what she has synesthesia.
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SPEAKER_01
Well, I don t think she, I know, I think it s just like now there s music in her brain.
14
SPEAKER_00
But if stop signs are musical, isn t that the same as smelling music?
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SPEAKER_01
Maybe.
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SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t either, maybe.
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SPEAKER_01
Pharrell.
14
SPEAKER_00
He has it?
14
SPEAKER_01
Mm-hmm, Billy Joel, Tori Amos, Van Halen, Duke Ellington, Billie Eilish.
14
SPEAKER_00
What member of Van Halen?
14
SPEAKER_01
Eddie.
14
SPEAKER_00
Oh, Edward.
14
SPEAKER_01
Kanye.
14
SPEAKER_00
Sure.
14
SPEAKER_01
Stevie Wonder.
14
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
14
SPEAKER_01
David Hockney, the artist, Charlie XCX.
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SPEAKER_01
Also, Pharrell, I ve heard he, and maybe this is related, who told us this, that he knows every Pantone color?
14
SPEAKER_00
Oh, someone did tell us that.
14
SPEAKER_01
Someone told us that.
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SPEAKER_01
I bet it s connected to this.
14
SPEAKER_00
Maybe each one represents a song.
14
SPEAKER_01
Maybe music is in color or something.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
14
SPEAKER_01
It s pretty cool.
14
SPEAKER_01
I wish I had that.
14
SPEAKER_00
It sounds a little distracting if you ask me.
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SPEAKER_00
I think I have enough going on in my brain.
14
SPEAKER_01
But to taste color, I d like...
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and although you re only imagining the yummy flavors.
14
SPEAKER_00
I know.
14
SPEAKER_00
But if you saw some color and you were like immediately tasting licorice.
14
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
You d be like, ugh, like ugh.
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SPEAKER_00
You wouldn t want, you gotta assume that as many times as you like the taste, you would not like the taste.
14
SPEAKER_01
I know, you re right, but it s just like a fantastical way to live your life, to go through the world.
14
SPEAKER_00
More Hogwarts-y.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
14
SPEAKER_01
Well, I was thinking about Bertie Gotts  beans or whatever.
14
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s part of Hogwarts?
14
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, they re jelly beans and they taste...
14
SPEAKER_00
Oh, like emotions?
14
SPEAKER_01
Well, no, they just, they taste like stuff, like regular jelly beans, but they have crazy flavors, like puke.
14
SPEAKER_01
Oh, like catfish.
14
SPEAKER_01
Well, yeah, they have catfish, and they have lint, ear lint.
14
SPEAKER_01
Ooh.
14
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and then you can buy, they made that into an actual product.
14
SPEAKER_00
Ear max sweat.
14
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God, probably.
14
SPEAKER_01
You know the, okay, you know when your ear, your ear hole, because you have one.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, two.
14
SPEAKER_01
And you know how sometimes it smells?
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
14
SPEAKER_01
Does yours ever still smell sometimes?
14
SPEAKER_01
I don t think it ever smelled.
14
SPEAKER_01
Really?
14
SPEAKER_00
Did mine used to smell?
14
SPEAKER_00
Well, mine sometimes smells.
14
SPEAKER_00
But you asked me, is it smelling, which makes me nervous that my ears have smelled in the past.
14
SPEAKER_01
I guess I assume everyone s.
14
SPEAKER_00
So you get some wax on your finger, you smell it, and it has a weird smell, is that what you re saying?
14
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no, not, no, I m sorry, I m so sorry.
14
SPEAKER_01
Your earring hole.
14
SPEAKER_00
Oh, God, yes, if you push out the gunk.
14
SPEAKER_00
The juice, there s juice in there.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s like dead white blood cells.
14
SPEAKER_01
Right.
14
SPEAKER_01
Pus.
14
SPEAKER_01
Well, sometimes nothing comes out, but if I just like squeeze on the holes.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yes, that s got the must smell.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s so interesting.
14
SPEAKER_00
I have a really gross, I got one, I got an example, but I think people throw up while they re driving.
14
SPEAKER_01
Okay, well turn it off if you re gonna throw up while you re driving.
14
SPEAKER_00
Okay, I m glad it s gone and I miss it.
14
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
14
SPEAKER_00
I used to lay in bed and I would like play with the skin in my armpit.
14
SPEAKER_01
Uh-huh.
14
SPEAKER_00
And at some point I think I had an ingrown hair
15
SPEAKER_00
And at some point I pop something and somehow it just stayed a thing like an earring hole for a long time But I would forget about it That was the best as if I forgot about it for like a month and then I was digging around watching like 24 or something right back in Santa Monica.
15
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and I d feel that little ball
15
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you push on it.
15
SPEAKER_00
And then I would squeeze it.
15
SPEAKER_00
And I would get out, this is what s gonna make you throw up, it s cheese.
15
SPEAKER_00
You d get cheese.
15
SPEAKER_00
Don t call it that, you shouldn t call it that.
15
SPEAKER_00
I know what it is.
15
SPEAKER_00
Just call it pus.
15
SPEAKER_00
You gotta call it what it is, it s cheese.
15
SPEAKER_00
And then yes, I would smell that and it was terrible, but I also loved it.
15
SPEAKER_01
I know, I don t understand, I don t know what s going on with humans.
15
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I guess it s evolution, but why do we like, we shouldn t have to like these gross smells about us.
15
SPEAKER_00
See, yes, we ve had so many psychologists on it, we ve never asked the correct question, which is like, why would we enjoy smelling the cheese?
15
SPEAKER_00
From our armpit or belly button or any of our ear hole.
15
SPEAKER_01
Your belly button has cheese?
15
SPEAKER_00
Mine doesn t, but I just assume people s does.
15
SPEAKER_00
Like if they got their navel pierced, they probably have cheese.
15
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah.
15
SPEAKER_00
I think Maureen s here.
15
SPEAKER_00
Okay, all right.
15
SPEAKER_01
All right, well, I guess we ll end on that.
15
SPEAKER_00
Okay, I love you and I m sorry if that was rough.
15
SPEAKER_00
If you threw up in the car.
15
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I m sorry if you threw up in your car.
15
SPEAKER_00
Bye-bye.
15
SPEAKER_00
Bye-bye.