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Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert, Experts on Expert.
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I m Dan Rather and I m joined by Monica Monsoon.
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Hi.
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Hello.
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This long awaited Easter egg.
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People were growing impatient and I understand why.
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Yeah, we dropped this egg a while back.
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We did.
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Recklessly.
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It was a golden egg.
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Yeah, it sure was.
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Phineas!
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Phineas is an Academy and Grammy Award-winning singer, songwriter, and composer.
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His solo albums include Optimist, Blood Harmony.
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He s written and produced, you know, What Was I Made For, No Time to Die, When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go, Happier Than Ever.
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He s such a beast.
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Such a beast.
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And I m so excited about this.
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He has scored a new Apple TV series that comes out this year called Disclaimer.
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And so now he s scoring things.
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Yeah, he s done a few things, which is really exciting.
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He s a phenom.
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I know.
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He is a prodigy.
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He also, I m going to put him in almost the Kimmel category where a lot of good boy vibes and sexy guy and cool guy, sexy man and best boy.
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Yeah.
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Right.
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He kind of delivered on all the categories.
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I feel like a lot of people have the opinion of him just based on what they see on TV, that he s just a very shy.
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Exactly.
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Shy, super sweet.
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And he s not.
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He has a fun personality.
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Big time.
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A rascal even, I d say.
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And a little bit of a contrarian, he says himself.
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So it s fun.
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Yeah.
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It was a big, big fun pop out the whole way.
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And now I adore him.
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Please enjoy Phineas.
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Have you been seeing each other?
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Yeah, well, Phineas has seen me with my headphones in.
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He lives in the hood.
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Well, I know, but do I know that you guys have seen each other a lot?
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Well, I have two dogs, so I walk relentlessly, as you do.
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You re a better dog owner than I am.
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I have two dogs, and I have not walked ever once at all.
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Over the last two years, I ve been like, I think that s Monica.
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Occasionally but also not to be Not to be accusatory.
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You re probably listening to early edits.
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That s right.
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I never sort of like lackadaisically I don t I walk with I see you really focused.
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It s never been a good time to say I love the show Well, I would have loved to have heard that but you re right I would have been first you would have been like, excuse me, you know, I mean
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Pretty accurate.
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Well, because they could be saying, a car is coming.
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Like, you have to react quickly.
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You do have to kind of be fast with it, yes.
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You ve got to be fast.
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It s true.
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There s so much here, though.
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Also, you know, Monica, yes, she likely was editing or preoccupied.
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But also, she enters the street is like, it s an apocalypse.
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People are going to attack her.
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Like, she s definitely in a zone when she s out on the streets.
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Is that fair?
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That s fair.
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My best friend, happy birthday, Callie.
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It s her birthday today.
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Thank you.
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My best friend said, he was talking to Rafi.
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She said I walk like I m on a mission in high school I would do that.
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Oh, they re so good I m gonna wait till we re deep in this interview when my intermittent intermittent fast is broken You have an alarm that goes off on your phone
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No, but I ll feel it.
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I ll know when noon is.
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Yeah.
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You do it?
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Pavlovian.
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I ve been doing it on and off.
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I m a fan of it for two reasons.
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One is who likes to fall asleep feeling too full.
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Sure.
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And then the other one is just in any version of dieting at all, I like the restricted hours, but I feel like I can eat whatever I want in the hours.
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Yeah, it s not the food you re taking away.
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Yeah.
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The hardest form of trying to control what I eat has been like eating less Cheez-Its than I want to.
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I love Cheez-Its.
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They re really good.
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That s your food too?
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Like, do I love Cheez-Its?
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Yeah.
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Yeah, I do love Cheez-Its.
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You love them.
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They re so good.
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You love Cheez-Its.
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We all love Cheez-Its.
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Well, I have come to Cheez-Its by way of you.
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They were not for me.
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I didn t realize that.
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In fact, they re what my stepfather liked, so they got filed into.
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That s what Barton loves.
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Old man food a little bit.
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Maybe a little bit.
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My last stepdad, who I absolutely adored.
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The final boss.
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The final boss.
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And why I liked him is he was never much of a boss.
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And you re too young for this, but he had Mr. Belvedere vibes.
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Do you remember Mr. Belvedere?
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What s Mr. Belvedere from?
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It was a show about a butler, Mr. Belvedere.
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Okay.
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And he was very proper, and he wore sweater vests, and he was nice.
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I think now it s like a vodka.
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What?
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Oh, Belvedere is a beautiful brand of vodka.
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But back then, you just stood for kind of old-fashioned butler class.
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So the fact that he ate Cheez-Its for me, it wasn t sexy enough.
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Yeah, the idea that you d associate that with some authority figure.
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What did they represent for you, fun?
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Like, these are so fun, they re square.
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There s millions of them in this bag.
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I think they re like any form of snack where it s the tub.
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It s like pretzels or something.
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Anything that you re sticking your hand down into, like a claw machine at an arcade, bad sign.
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Monica, I don t want to speak for you, but you have a specific association that s airport for you.
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Yeah, that s my airport snack of choice.
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So as soon as I get in there, I need the big bag.
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Mine for a long time was Takis, do you know those?
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The spicy things.
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Oh.
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Takis are Dorito adjacent.
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They re like a rolled chip.
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Okay, yeah.
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And they re super spicy.
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I do love.
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And just sometimes people wear them on their face.
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That s Bugles.
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That s bugles, but I do know what you re speaking of, in that the cylindrical shape of them adds even more crunch.
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It s really violently crunchy, and it became a whole debacle in Billy and my touring life, because we were public-facing appreciators of Takis, which meant that by the 15th show, they were being thrown at us on stage.
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Oh, really?
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Wow.
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Yeah, so we definitely crossed over the bell curve of appreciating them to being like, no, no, no, this has to stop.
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And now when I m at an airport, I m like, oh, I ll get a bag of that.
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There was a period where they were sort of falling out of my jacket pockets and being hit in the face with them and stuff.
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You felt like it had jumped the shark.
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Just like anything that you suddenly go from, this is a little delicacy that I appreciate to like always being inundated with them.
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What a bizarre lesson to learn real time is that, well, we got to be careful how much we express our love for something because they ll eventually get thrown at us on stage.
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Thank God you weren t into throwing stars or something dangerous.
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Something that would kill me.
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Yeah.
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I ve always, cause I m a junkie.
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So I ve thought there were certain performers, generally standups, who knowingly would be like, bring drugs to my show.
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And people would throw free drugs on stage.
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And I thought that was such a great idea.
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Yeah.
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I thought it was so generous.
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Well, was a generous of the participants, but also what a great hack.
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You re in another town.
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You don t want to travel drugs.
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You don t want to score.
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I feel like you re talking about a pre-fentanyl period of time.
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Exactly.
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I am.
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That sounds terrifying.
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You re right.
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Don t do this, kids.
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If you re a very popular stand-up, the three people that are out there listening, Theo Vaughn, don t ask anyone to do that.
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I m not friends with stand-ups like you are, but when I go to friends  concerts and I go to their green room to say, like, great show, there s usually some consumed bottle of alcohol, of course, that I have a feeling like, oh my God, are you hitting that every night?
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That kind of blows me away.
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And maybe it s a whole band and maybe it s a whole crew backstage and they re all having it, but sometimes I m like...
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I don t see a lot of people back here, man.
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That s a very empty bottle.
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Huge deficit of alcohol for two people.
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When you two are, what is your kind of habitual pattern?
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And what s on a rider?
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I have a super monastic boring rider because of exactly what we re talking about.
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Because of like, when we first started, my rider was like Oreos.
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Great pick.
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I d eat like a case of Oreos a day.
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Milk too?
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Yeah, sometimes milk.
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Or would you raw dog?
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But anyway, again, it was kind of an exposure thing of like, ooh, I shouldn t have this always at arm s length every day.
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So my rider is like apples and a can of cold black coffee and stuff.
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It s very tame.
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I wasn t a famous musician, but I do weirdly relate to this on a deep level, which is when I graduated high school, I kind of went working full-time with my mother doing car shows for General Motors, and you had a per diem.
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And I coveted fast food so much growing up.
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Sure, I love fast food too.
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And it never occurred to me that if I had endless fast food, my body would change rapidly.
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And I graduated at 185, and after just one year of doing car shows, I ll never forget it, I was in Lake Lanier, Georgia.
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And I just caught a glance at myself and I said, you re becoming a very big boy.
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And I stepped on a scale and I was 217.
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So I had gained 32 pounds with this per diem just absentmindedly.
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Yes, yes.
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Mystery weight.
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Yes.
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It s a lucky position to be in life where you actually have excess.
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It s true.
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Or yeah, what s around.
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We re talking about the same thing, basically, which is that adulthood and independence was coinciding with
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this other unhealthy thing.
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Living at my parents  house, my mom s a healthy person and had healthy shit around.
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Even I remember turning 18 and I was dating a girl that was going to college, and she was home for the summer, and I would go over to her parents  house where she was staying, and we d hang out late in the evening, but it wasn t kosher to spend the night, so I d leave, and there was a Taco Bell blocks away, and I hit that Taco Bell almost every night for, like, fucking money.
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No, they were fucking, he just wasn t sleeping over.
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Oh, you re right.
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You re right, what am I thinking?
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She was in college, she was 18.
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I did a Taco Bell like every- These were post-coital tacos.
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Sure, yes.
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There s nothing tastier than a post-coital.
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It s better than a cigarette though.
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Yeah, but I have a very vivid memory of after a summer of the Bell, being at a restaurant for my birthday.
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Which is at the end of July.
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Going to wash my hands in the bathroom and looking in the mirror and being like...
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Who s that?
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I look so different.
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It was shocking to me.
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I ve been saying that for the last two years that I ve been eating like it s for a role, but I have not.
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I feel very saved by that I did have to be on camera all through my thirties and I couldn t just go crazy.
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My vanity has probably added 20 years to my life.
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Nice.
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Mentally, nothing makes me feel better.
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Like Arnold.
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It s better than coming.
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It s like you re walking around all day coming, you leave the gym and you come in.
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Can you imagine for me how much I m in heaven?
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Wow, dueling Arnold.
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And I m glad you ve seen that clip.
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That s so special.
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He s just so delighted.
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He s like, the pump is better than coming and then I m home and I m coming.
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He s delighted.
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He s so happy about it.
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And he was doing two a days, yeah.
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So he had the pump twice a day.
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Yeah, how much for me I am in heaven really killed him.
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Can you imagine how much for me I am in heaven?
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He s pretty great.
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It s wonderful.
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I don t know if I ve ever met anyone as well versed in Arnold quotes.
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That s a surprise and I like it.
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Oh, I know.
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This is not about you.
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I apologize.
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But we were just in South by and I was moderating a panel for Roadhouse.
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It s all young actors.
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They re dudes.
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They all got in great shape.
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And then we saw him the next day at the hotel and one of the guys grabbed my shoulder and he s like, what are you training for?
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That s sweet.
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What a huge compliment.
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It is.
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But I also felt very silly because I used to be able to say, oh, I m doing a movie.
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And I was like, I don t know.
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I don t know what I m training for.
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I don t know what it s about.
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But he started crying.
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A hernia.
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Just training to get a hernia.
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Yes.
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First of all, I listened to the Jake episode of Armchair when he was like shooting that.
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And I was sort of at stuff that Jake was at a year ago when he was finishing shooting that.
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Because remember they shot for a while.
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He got COVID or something and it paused for two and a half months.
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So I was like, dude, so you just had to stay like zero percent body fat for three months while you re on hiatus.
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Right.
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He looked unbelievable.
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He had the greatest looking body on a man I d almost ever seen.
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And there s like videos of him at USC and stuff.
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It was insane.
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Yes.
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Wait till you see this film.
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He s got the most glorious body.
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And are you like me in that I am far more interested in men s bodies than women s bodies, even though I m heterosexual?
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Like, you and I both have a mental image of what Jake s body looks like right now, but I don t think you and I have one of a female actress right now.
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Let s pretend, sure.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, I can t say with full transparency that I have much more interest in men s bodies.
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Okay, okay.
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I am an appreciator, and I am fascinated by the whole thing.
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And I work out, and I rock climb and stuff, so there s interest in that, for sure.
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Yes, but you and I aren t gonna miss a male actor who gets in great shape.
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100%.
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Very interesting to me.
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Me too, it s so silly.
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I ve been in a relationship for five years.
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Which is impressive, by the way.
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My partner, Claudia, who s an actress also, like you and I are talking about, Jake, we have that about actors and actresses alike, or just maybe people, but we were at a party the other night and Claudia was like, Jennifer Lawrence looks un-fucking-believable, right?
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And we have that kind of same version of like, wow, look at that person.
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We should all watch a movie together because all Chris and I talk about is like, my goodness, look at the traps on so-and-so, look at this, look at that.
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It s so worth appreciating.
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I know.
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I think someone could maybe deduce there s some kind of shallowness to that.
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I m inclined to think it s more like evolutionary.
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There s something primitive about it that I can t resist.
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Yeah, I think it s just interesting.
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Also, most people are not particularly predisposed to it.
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So it s displaying a kind of like, wow, they really like went for that.
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Like when Kumail suddenly was Adonis.
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I won t forget that like I don t forget the space shuttle blowing up.
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That is an important marker of my life.
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Picturing you with Kristen in the other room, with Kumail coming on the TV, and you being like, babe!
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Hon, get in here!
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Yeah, it s so silly.
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But five years is a very long time to be with someone when you re 27.
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Yeah, we got together when I was 21, and she was 22.
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How did you meet?
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We met on a dating app.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh, you did?
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That s the sort of abridged version, and then to her, the validation was that I knew mutual friends of hers.
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And then once we d matched, she was like, isn t this the guy you keep talking about?
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I think that that validated me in a way that if I d just been sending her a message, she would have been like, ah, I don t know who this is.
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And how long had you been on that dating app and how frequent were your dates?
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Very briefly.
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Cause I miss this whole phase of life and I m a little envious.
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I m very pro dating app.
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What could be better than two people being like hot and pressing a button and then talking under the auspice of like, we should go kiss maybe.
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Like I think that s awesome.
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It really is.
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Yeah.
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I think a lot of energy and time is- We should go kiss, right?
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I m glad you missed it.
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Yeah, I would ve never come out.
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I would ve never come out, for sure.
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I think you would ve been like me.
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I think, again, I was on it, and met people, and had fun experiences, and then fell in love with Claudia.
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Full disclosure, I did have that kind of similar thing.
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MySpace was a thing.
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And that s about as close as I could get to it.
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It s like strangers interacting and then getting together to kiss.
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And then one of them has got really good taste in movies and books.
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The next thing you know, I m kind of dating them.
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SPEAKER_02
I am a habitual monogamous.
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SPEAKER_02
I can t stay out of a relationship, truth be told.
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SPEAKER_02
Had you had a long one prior to this five year?
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SPEAKER_02
I hadn t had really long ones.
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SPEAKER_02
The college girl, how long was that?
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SPEAKER_02
It was like a year.
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SPEAKER_02
That s pretty good.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
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Do you think we could go out on a limb and say that it maybe is somewhat related to our relationships with our moms?
1
SPEAKER_01
I definitely like have a really great relationship with my mom and a really great relationship with my dad.
1
SPEAKER_01
For me, it s, this is a weird way to put it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m a real problem solver to a sort of debilitating degree sometimes.
1
SPEAKER_01
Everything s a problem.
1
SPEAKER_01
Not everything s a problem, but if there is a problem, I m going to try to work through it.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I think sometimes I d have friends who seemed like they were having a really good thing with a partner.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I d be like, what happened to that thing?
1
SPEAKER_01
And they re like, oh, it just didn t work out.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I d be like, what happened?
1
SPEAKER_01
And they d explain something to me and I d be like, well, that seems like very surface level.
1
SPEAKER_01
That was solvable.
1
SPEAKER_01
Could have had a little conversation where you said, hey, that made me uncomfortable.
1
SPEAKER_01
When you said that to me, it made me feel small.
1
SPEAKER_02
I just communicate a lot.
1
SPEAKER_02
But do you think maybe implicit in there is that you and I both had mothers that if I did go bring my feelings to her, she, A, took them seriously, she listened, she didn t deny me, like, because I said so.
1
SPEAKER_02
She treated me as a peer and with respect.
1
SPEAKER_01
Did you go over to friends  houses as a kid and say, can we do this?
1
SPEAKER_01
Can we have a sleepover?
1
SPEAKER_01
And they d say, no.
1
SPEAKER_01
You say, why?
1
SPEAKER_01
And they d say, because I said so.
1
SPEAKER_01
That blew my mind.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, the parents?
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
Well, interestingly, and now I am going to betray our bond, my mom begging was not on the table.
1
SPEAKER_02
That was like a rule in the house.
1
SPEAKER_02
So I would go like, can Trevor spend the night?
1
SPEAKER_02
And she d go, no.
1
SPEAKER_02
And I d be on the phone with Trevor.
1
SPEAKER_02
She said, no.
1
SPEAKER_02
Well, ask her again.
1
SPEAKER_02
And I d be like, no, that doesn t work.
1
SPEAKER_02
Beg her.
1
SPEAKER_02
I d go, no, no, it doesn t work.
1
SPEAKER_02
She s just going to get mad.
1
SPEAKER_02
If she says no, that was for real no.
1
SPEAKER_01
For me, this is a really good lesson in psychology is I would go, hey, can me and Cameron have a sleepover tonight?
1
SPEAKER_01
And my mom would go, no.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, he s got soccer practice in the morning, and what s fun about a sleepover if not waking up and watching a little cartoon and eating breakfast together?
1
SPEAKER_01
You have to worry about going to bed too early tonight because he s got his soccer practice he s got to wake up for.
1
SPEAKER_01
By this time, I m so bored of this answer.
1
SPEAKER_01
I ve completely tapped out.
1
SPEAKER_01
And it s morning.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, never mind.
1
SPEAKER_01
You win.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I think that that s a really great example of people, no matter how young, are usually not fully immune to reason and justification.
1
SPEAKER_01
So if you give it to them, they ll just sort of go like, oh, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Even if they kind of throw a tantrum about it, it s a little inarguable.
1
SPEAKER_02
Well, that s the policy we have at the house, which is best argument wins.
1
SPEAKER_02
And it can be from them, and often is.
1
SPEAKER_02
They ll say something, and I ll go, whew, that was a great counter.
1
SPEAKER_02
You got this one.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, sometimes I would be like, it s so important to me to continue this hang that we will promise to go to bed on time and wake up early as long as we can watch Incredibles right now.
1
SPEAKER_00
I can t wait to tell my kid, sorry, I decided this, and that s that, and I m the mom.
1
SPEAKER_00
We were just talking about this.
1
SPEAKER_00
And that s the end of this conversation.
1
SPEAKER_00
Go to bed.
1
SPEAKER_01
Haha, go back to bed.
1
SPEAKER_00
Shut them in.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s noon.
1
SPEAKER_00
I can t wait to do that.
1
SPEAKER_01
Why is that how your childhood went?
1
SPEAKER_01
What s going on?
1
SPEAKER_00
No, I got away with murder.
1
SPEAKER_01
How did you get away with stuff?
1
SPEAKER_01
You re the oldest.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s the one that they re careful with.
1
SPEAKER_00
But I was good.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was good in school.
1
SPEAKER_00
I did everything I needed to do outwardly.
1
SPEAKER_00
So in the house, if I was shitty, which I was, they were like,
1
SPEAKER_00
I guess we prefer that she s a good student.
1
SPEAKER_00
Performing.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, performing for us.
1
SPEAKER_00
So sure, she can run wild.
1
SPEAKER_00
But we were just talking about this.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes, I have zero problems with authority.
1
SPEAKER_00
I have no problem with someone telling me I m in charge.
1
SPEAKER_02
Give the literal example.
1
SPEAKER_02
We re just on an airplane coming home from Texas and the shades were down and they said, you got to have the shades down to keep the airplane cool.
1
SPEAKER_02
But we had been on a flight a week before where they re like, got to have the shades up.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s FAA.
1
SPEAKER_02
We got to be able to see shit.
1
SPEAKER_02
And I m like, see, this is what I hate.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s so fucking arbitrary.
1
SPEAKER_02
There s not really a rule.
1
SPEAKER_02
They re switching it on me.
1
SPEAKER_02
And she s like, I don t care about that.
1
SPEAKER_01
Sure.
1
SPEAKER_01
The airline thing, actually, I will confess, I don t take it out on anybody, but I get angry in a way that I don t get angry anywhere else because I fly all the fucking time and every
1
SPEAKER_01
person that works for any airline or any security or any gate screams at me like what are you stupid this is the way it is everywhere and i m like i was on a flight yesterday morning and it wasn t this way and i ve had this thing in my bag that you re telling me i m not allowed to have my bag for 400 flights that drives me out of
1
SPEAKER_01
It s the arbitrariness of it that I don t know why I can t get over.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m always like, just because you work at an airport doesn t mean I m not on more flights than you.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s a good point.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but think about who they have to deal with.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I literally, my actual conversation is like, it s not your fault, man.
1
SPEAKER_01
I know you re just doing your job.
1
SPEAKER_01
I never, ever am arguing.
1
SPEAKER_01
I just am balling my fists up.
2
SPEAKER_01
Privately.
2
SPEAKER_01
What kind of little boy were you?
2
SPEAKER_01
You had sleepovers.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s encouraging.
2
SPEAKER_01
Only at my house.
2
SPEAKER_01
I had really bad separation anxiety.
2
SPEAKER_01
Did you?
2
SPEAKER_01
I was never sleeping over anywhere else.
2
SPEAKER_01
No.
2
SPEAKER_01
I would think I could do it and the sun would go down and I d be like, I m really doing it.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then at one in the morning I d be like, mom.
2
SPEAKER_02
You would call?
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Would you be embarrassed?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, for sure.
2
SPEAKER_01
I would like other myself in ways like that as a child, like with separation anxiety.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s how it felt to me.
2
SPEAKER_01
This makes me different than everybody else.
2
SPEAKER_01
Which you liked or didn t like?
2
SPEAKER_01
I did not like.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I was very embarrassed.
2
SPEAKER_01
I really wanted to just be like everybody else.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was even for a time as a young person, very self-conscious to be named Phineas because nobody was named Phineas and it wasn t on a key chain at the Jurassic Park ride.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I wanted to be named Jack.
2
SPEAKER_01
There s a weird
2
SPEAKER_01
Invisibility thing as a child of I just want to be camouflaged to all these other people my age You don t want anyone to have any reason Yeah, and kids are so unfiltered and entertainingly so but kids will be like that s a weird name Why are you so afraid of the sleepover?
2
SPEAKER_01
Why do you separation anxiety yeah, why are you a nerd just weird little things like I m left-handed there you feel like stupidly ostracized I m kind of surprised
2
SPEAKER_01
It s just collective, like nobody s doing it.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s just that your two best friends aren t.
2
SPEAKER_01
As a child, I don t know if either of you related to this, I just wanted braces.
2
SPEAKER_01
My friends had braces and I was like, I wanna have braces like my friends.
2
SPEAKER_00
I just wanna be like everybody.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
I kinda wanted glasses.
2
SPEAKER_01
I wanted glasses too.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I was running around with good teeth and 20-20 vision, just devastated.
2
SPEAKER_01
Talk about grass is always green.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s like all these cute white girls had short legs and I had long legs at the time.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I went home and I told my mom, I just really want short legs.
2
SPEAKER_00
And she was like, what are you talking about?
2
SPEAKER_00
Everyone wants long legs.
2
SPEAKER_00
And that was the end of that conversation.
2
SPEAKER_00
But it s that, it s like, you just want to blend.
2
SPEAKER_02
Glasses to me is like, A, you ve got space work.
2
SPEAKER_02
Like you ve always got something to do.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then you re also hiding a bit.
2
SPEAKER_02
You re behind something.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s appealing.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s so fun.
2
SPEAKER_01
And you get to pick what they look like.
2
SPEAKER_01
Immediate customization.
2
SPEAKER_01
Personality out loud.
2
SPEAKER_01
You get to wear different ones and you feel differently that day.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s pretty awesome.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
I actually do have a bad eye now.
2
SPEAKER_01
I just have astigmatism in my eye.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I have some glasses.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it really scratches an itch.
2
SPEAKER_01
I really like it.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I got them too.
2
SPEAKER_02
Because I m old.
2
SPEAKER_02
My nearsightedness is gone.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, you have like a little shade on them too.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t like the shade.
2
SPEAKER_02
This was regrettable.
2
SPEAKER_02
But I have the exact same pair upstairs in my bedroom without the shade.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I really, really like them.
2
SPEAKER_02
Those look cool.
2
SPEAKER_02
You look like Robert Downey Jr.
2
SPEAKER_02
now.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, Phineas, thank you.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, that was wonderful.
2
SPEAKER_02
What part of LA did you grow up in?
2
SPEAKER_02
I grew up in Highland Park, which I loved.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s wonderful.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s changed so much since you were a kid there, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
We definitely only lived there because we couldn t afford to live anywhere else.
2
SPEAKER_01
I didn t ever feel like I could walk around.
2
SPEAKER_01
There were a ton of gangs there.
2
SPEAKER_01
We really heard gunfire right outside our house a couple times, but I was there the other day and I was like, Oh my God, Silver Lake just bled through this.
2
SPEAKER_02
There s like retro bowling alleys and farm to table restaurants.
2
SPEAKER_02
And like Le Labo.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know what I mean?
2
SPEAKER_01
It really got super gentrified.
2
SPEAKER_02
Did you ever fantasize about living somewhere other than LA?
2
SPEAKER_02
Because I m always confused because everyone else in the rest of the country, we re all watching TV and we re like, well, we got to get there.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s where everything s happening.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think when you grow up here, especially growing up on the East side, the kids I knew lived in Pasadena and Burbank and Eagle Rock.
2
SPEAKER_01
I didn t feel like I was walking around Hollywood Boulevard.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I still don t.
2
SPEAKER_01
I grew up in neighborhoods where we rode bikes and stuff.
2
SPEAKER_01
I really loved it.
2
SPEAKER_01
We started touring when I turned 18.
2
SPEAKER_01
I ve really enjoyed going to places, and I ve subsequently found places like Australia where I ve been like, I love it here.
2
SPEAKER_01
I could totally spend five years here.
2
SPEAKER_02
Is it Melbourne you love?
2
SPEAKER_02
Melbourne s amazing.
2
SPEAKER_02
Young people I know are all going to Melbourne.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s Brooklyn of Australia.
2
SPEAKER_01
The neighborhoods outside of Sydney are amazing.
2
SPEAKER_01
There s a city called Brisbane.
2
SPEAKER_01
They call it Bris Vegas, which is a real Australian tell from a bunch of people who ve never been to Las Vegas.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s way better than Las Vegas.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, it is.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s super fun.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s gambling though?
2
SPEAKER_01
There is probably a portion of that.
2
SPEAKER_01
I ve never done it there, but it s just kind of a nightlife place.
2
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, the Australian listeners are going to be like...
2
SPEAKER_01
What the fuck is he talking about?
2
SPEAKER_01
But I ve really loved being there.
2
SPEAKER_01
Do you fantasize about getting a second house somewhere?
2
SPEAKER_01
I had a place on the beach for a while in LA.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s here, obviously, but that was a weird sort of... Impulse buy?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
Classic paradigm.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was COVID and the beach was suddenly illegal.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, well, I could just buy a place on the beach and then go to the beach, which is pretty crazy.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you don t like authority.
2
SPEAKER_00
I can feel it.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, this is true.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s coming out.
2
SPEAKER_01
I wore a mask.
2
SPEAKER_00
You followed the rules.
2
SPEAKER_01
He wore a mask in his car.
2
SPEAKER_01
We re forgetting, Monica, that my disdain for following rules is met only with my fear of everything.
2
SPEAKER_00
My separation anxiety.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s right.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s a good combo.
2
SPEAKER_00
Interesting.
2
SPEAKER_00
Phobias.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re kind of authoritizing yourself.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s true.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m very restricted by my own design.
2
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, the reason I bring this beach house up as a debacle is I don t even really like the beach.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s terrible, especially the California beach.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I just sort of thought I would suddenly become a very different person than I am.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was like, I m gonna walk around barefoot and gaze meditatively at the ocean, and that s never a thing I ve wanted to do ever.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, work out with Laird Hamilton in his pool, maybe.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes, he s kind of ubiquitous up there.
2
SPEAKER_01
I never met him, but a bunch of my friends were like, we re gonna go kick it with Laird.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, we re gonna work out in his pool.
2
SPEAKER_01
Down at the bottom with the weights.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
I saw like a thing online the other day, a beautiful window overlooking Lake Como or something.
2
SPEAKER_01
And somebody commented, I would love to look at my phone there.
2
SPEAKER_01
Which is very much like my unfortunate brand.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m so much older than you, so I have much more experience with this, but it sounds like you ve already dipped your toe in the water, which is I m very romantic.
2
SPEAKER_02
I live in fantasy, so I ve done things.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then I get there and I go, oh yeah, it s just still real life.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m still me here.
2
SPEAKER_02
How about that?
2
SPEAKER_02
Exactly.
2
SPEAKER_00
Wherever you go, there you are.
2
SPEAKER_02
Brought myself here.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s right.
2
SPEAKER_02
I was hoping to leave him behind, but here he is.
2
SPEAKER_02
I sold the beach house pretty quickly.
2
SPEAKER_01
How long did this last?
2
SPEAKER_01
I had it for under two years.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m a little bit of like a doomsday prepper.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I had a kind of a like, this is going to be washed away.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s my whole thought about Malibu.
2
SPEAKER_01
I sort of had a feeling of like, I have to sell this to somebody before, in the next 10 years, there s gonna be some point where everybody goes, we can t buy this.
2
SPEAKER_02
And also people find it so relaxing to be on that water.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I m like, that churning mass of water is just eating the shore.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was on a wet dry beach, which is tide comes in and you have no beach, tide goes out, you have a beach.
2
SPEAKER_01
Our staircase would just get exploded.
2
SPEAKER_01
The waves just go like, and blow it up.
2
SPEAKER_01
And the windows would get destroyed.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s under attack.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes, it s like always having construction done.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was a dumb idea of mine.
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay, so what were your hobbies before at 12 you go with mom to a songwriting class?
2
SPEAKER_02
I really love drawing.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m gonna stop.
2
SPEAKER_02
You re a sweet boy.
2
SPEAKER_02
I like you so much.
2
SPEAKER_00
Thanks, man.
2
SPEAKER_02
You also read so much older than you are.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s crazy.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, you ve just been around for a long time.
2
SPEAKER_00
I think that s why.
2
SPEAKER_02
But I feel like we re peers and we re not.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m 22 years older.
2
SPEAKER_02
You re peers.
2
SPEAKER_02
22 years.
2
SPEAKER_02
If we were dating, people would be talking about it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, that s true.
2
SPEAKER_02
They d be talking about our physiques, man.
2
SPEAKER_00
I hope.
2
SPEAKER_01
We get on that Malibu beach at your house, pause the footage, and they go, look at those traps on those guys.
2
SPEAKER_01
These guys are really going for it.
2
SPEAKER_00
A couple guys would be having that conversation.
2
SPEAKER_00
Look at this.
2
SPEAKER_01
Who s spotting, who s lifting?
2
SPEAKER_00
Wait, we should talk real quick before we get too much further in.
2
SPEAKER_00
Your mom taught at the Groundlings.
2
SPEAKER_01
I sadly never had her as a teacher.
2
SPEAKER_01
Missed by whatever amount of years.
2
SPEAKER_00
Our friend Jess was in your mom s class.
2
SPEAKER_01
Melissa McCarthy.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that was so funny at the, was it SAGS?
2
SPEAKER_00
She was like, I already met you in utero.
2
SPEAKER_01
My little sidebar about Melissa McCarthy because I just was talking to her the other night She s a big successful actress and is a movie star and our mom did not become a movie star But we would see her in like skits at groundlings.
2
SPEAKER_01
I always had like a weird empathy crisis as a kid watching our mom play a pathetic character
2
SPEAKER_01
Does that make sense at all?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it would hurt your feelings.
2
SPEAKER_01
Watching my mom play a buffoon and be made fun of by the other characters in the skit.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I said to Melissa the other night, I was like, were your kids cool with Billie drawing all over your face the other night?
2
SPEAKER_01
Just out of a kind of curiosity, because her kids are very young.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, I think I might have felt super weird about that.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s really funny.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s very funny.
2
SPEAKER_01
But Billie grabs her by the face and draws all over her face.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, wow.
2
SPEAKER_00
She signs her name.
2
SPEAKER_01
Melissa says, can you sign my dress?
2
SPEAKER_01
And Billy says, no, I don t want to ruin the dress.
2
SPEAKER_01
She goes, can you sign my face?
2
SPEAKER_01
And Billy goes, sure.
2
SPEAKER_01
And signs all over her face.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s very funny.
2
SPEAKER_01
And Melissa kills.
2
SPEAKER_01
That was that sign?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I only brought it up because I was like, do your kids care when Ariel kills you?
2
SPEAKER_01
Like the little mermaid.
2
SPEAKER_01
And she basically said no.
2
SPEAKER_01
So it s just kind of a me issue.
2
SPEAKER_01
But do your kids have that at all?
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, my wife was in a movie, I forget the name of it, but she played a dork, Marnie, and she had braces and really bad skin, and she always pushed her glasses on like this, and then it was one of these stories where she kinda got hot as she got older.
2
SPEAKER_02
Cute.
2
SPEAKER_02
Do you remember the name of that one, Monica?
2
SPEAKER_02
You again?
2
SPEAKER_02
You again, yep, you again.
2
SPEAKER_02
So they watched that, and they were so tender with her that night.
2
SPEAKER_01
Right, isn t that funny?
2
SPEAKER_02
It was so cute, they were like, Mom.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because you re seeing vulnerability in a way that you don t typically see from your folks.
2
SPEAKER_01
Right.
2
SPEAKER_01
You think your parents know everything.
2
SPEAKER_01
They re indomitable.
2
SPEAKER_01
When you watch your mom or your dad have a conversation with one of their friends, they re equals, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
You re watching them being very sort of meek and pathetic in this thing.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s a weird... Being picked on and teased.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yes, exactly.
2
SPEAKER_02
I was delighted because I was like, that s how I felt when she would do that character.
2
SPEAKER_02
Like, oh, sweetie, let s get you out of this race.
2
SPEAKER_01
For sure.
2
SPEAKER_01
I would feel that way about my partner, Claudia, also.
2
SPEAKER_01
But it s so funny, obviously, because you never for a minute and Kristen never for a minute, I would imagine.
3
SPEAKER_01
feels that way shooting it.
3
SPEAKER_01
You re like killing the performance and love it.
3
SPEAKER_01
She also never experienced that.
3
SPEAKER_02
She never looked like that.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I m saying in the scene, it s not like she s having a identity crisis on set.
3
SPEAKER_01
She s like, I m killing this character.
3
SPEAKER_01
This is fun.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, she s not feeling tormented.
3
SPEAKER_01
She knows this is comedic.
3
SPEAKER_01
She s hoping she s doing a good enough job playing a loser.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Am I enough of a loser?
3
SPEAKER_01
The looser he, the better.
3
SPEAKER_01
So did you go to a lot of shows at the Groundlings as a kid?
3
SPEAKER_01
We went to some.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I was raised on going to the Groundlings as a little kid and then driving around with my dad, listening to Stern.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, no kidding.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m a very talkative person, and my parents have always been very willing to answer my questions.
3
SPEAKER_01
I can t clock the age, but there came a time where I started asking about the context of Stern.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_01
Where I think my parents were like, oh, okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re right, because there is a very pivotal point where most stuff s going over your kid s head.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes, exactly.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then they start getting wise to it.
3
SPEAKER_00
And you go tell your friend.
3
SPEAKER_00
You go like, I was listening to the Howard Stern show.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and there was a woman on the Sibian.
3
SPEAKER_00
So there s this machine that will have sex with the woman and she screams.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Hey, do you know what butt chugging is?
3
SPEAKER_01
Just like really violent sounding stuff.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m very grateful to it, but I do understand them.
3
SPEAKER_01
They weren t always willing to answer questions, but I think they were like, he shouldn t even have these questions.
3
SPEAKER_00
Couldn t relate more.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ll answer anything they ask me, so it s just easier if we re not there yet.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was also in the unregulated internet period of time as a child.
3
SPEAKER_00
You were seeing it all.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, by the time you re 12, you re seeing horrors beyond comprehension.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was murder scenes almost.
3
SPEAKER_00
So crazy.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
Did you have any aspirations to be in the groundlings or to act?
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I know you ended up acting.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I like to act.
3
SPEAKER_01
I got an agent when I was 12 and started doing auditions.
3
SPEAKER_01
I loved acting.
3
SPEAKER_01
I did the homeschool version of like a school play when I was about 12 and that made me interested in it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Why did your parents homeschool?
3
SPEAKER_01
I think I was like a pretty weird child with a bunch of separation anxiety.
3
SPEAKER_01
Even by the time I was like four, they didn t have any money to send me to a crunchy private school.
3
SPEAKER_01
So it was like whatever close by I could go to.
3
SPEAKER_01
And they were actors that never worked.
3
SPEAKER_01
So they were like, we can homeschool them.
3
SPEAKER_00
And you re appreciative of that?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it worked great for me.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I turned out to have a lot of self-motivation, even as a young kid of like, I m going to go take these crayons in my room and draw for five hours.
3
SPEAKER_01
In LA, there s all these kind of networks via like email and whatever of parents that are homeschooling.
3
SPEAKER_01
You might all go do some class or some sort of extracurricular thing together.
3
SPEAKER_01
Or meet at the park for some exercise.
3
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
3
SPEAKER_01
I only bring that up because there are kids for whom homeschooling worked out great and then there are other kids for whom homeschooling was like not the answer.
3
SPEAKER_01
Kids who self-proclaimedly need outside sort of, hey, you got to do this thing and don t have a lot of motivation.
3
SPEAKER_01
I ve seen more of that version, I hate to say.
3
SPEAKER_01
There s more of those people.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s a good point.
3
SPEAKER_00
So by 14, you were on Bad Teacher.
3
SPEAKER_00
That movie s great.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s really funny.
3
SPEAKER_01
What did you do in it?
3
SPEAKER_01
I was just one of the students, which was cool, because it was just tons of kids my age.
3
SPEAKER_01
I had, as you do as a child actor, like two lines.
3
SPEAKER_01
But one of them, there s a scene where she s teaching the kids by quizzing them, and if they get a question wrong, she throws a dodgeball at them.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I got a question right and got to throw a dodgeball at her.
3
SPEAKER_01
That was how the scene worked.
3
SPEAKER_00
That was a thrill.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes, you re dying to throw a dodgeball at somebody.
3
SPEAKER_01
I had such an appreciation and a fun time being in such a professional environment.
3
SPEAKER_01
Even though actors are a fun bunch and they re joking around, it s like quiet and everybody shuts up.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I liked the 5 a.m.
3
SPEAKER_01
call times and stuff like that.
3
SPEAKER_00
It just made me feel cool.
3
SPEAKER_00
You can t really get there unless you re pretty goal-oriented.
3
SPEAKER_00
So despite the funness of it, you gotta be on top of it to end up there.
3
SPEAKER_01
At the SAG Awards, for example, we were seated next to Ariana Greenblatt, who s the actress in Barbie.
3
SPEAKER_01
At this point in time, maybe 16 or 17, she s super young.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I ended up talking to her mom for most of the dinner.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s not a joke, but I was just sort of making the joke to her of like, I m very pro-child labor.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, all that kind of didn t have a childhood.
3
SPEAKER_01
Fair enough, but actually, you re afforded so little independence as a person.
3
SPEAKER_01
Between 12 and 18, there s so much that s out of your control anyway.
3
SPEAKER_01
might as well go do something with some discipline, make some money.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think it s a really interesting experience.
3
SPEAKER_01
I did Bad Teacher as I simultaneously joined a basketball league.
3
SPEAKER_01
I can t repeat on this podcast the things I was called in the basketball league.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was an interesting juxtaposition in my life of being really valued and being really good at something, not basketball, being really good at acting.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then also being my team s handicap.
3
SPEAKER_01
Our team won the championship of the league.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, I m the reason it was close for them.
3
SPEAKER_00
Right, because they had to play you for it.
3
SPEAKER_00
You made it interesting for us.
3
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
3
SPEAKER_00
You were the person when they put you in the whole team and were like, don t give him the ball.
3
100%.
3
SPEAKER_02
But what a great experience, because then you know early, I think I should maybe lean this way.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was also just a good illustrator of kids can also be really mean.
3
SPEAKER_01
When you re on set, you might have kind of a like, not only do the other kids on the set think I m cool, Justin Timberlake is high-fiving me.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then you re playing with other kids in a basketball league, and they re just hate talking.
3
SPEAKER_00
There s not a lot of places you get rewarded for being emotional and creative and artistic as a little boy.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so this is one of the places you can, so I m for it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so now 12 years old, you go to a music writing class.
3
SPEAKER_01
My mom has always written songs.
3
SPEAKER_01
She s never made a penny off of it, but she s always done it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t actually fully know the origin of that in her life.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know what switch flipped for her that made her start writing songs.
3
SPEAKER_01
You should have asked her before this interview.
3
SPEAKER_01
That was kind of always in our house.
3
SPEAKER_01
She was sitting down at the piano and singing stuff.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, what is it?
3
SPEAKER_01
She s like, I m writing it.
3
SPEAKER_01
So that was real.
3
SPEAKER_01
People write new stuff.
3
SPEAKER_01
And our dad doesn t write at all, but he s a pretty good pianist.
3
SPEAKER_01
And he would sit around and plunk out Beatles songs or play pieces he liked.
3
SPEAKER_01
When I was 12, I started singing in this choir, and I immediately was very smitten with this girl in the choir, who was 13.
3
SPEAKER_01
I might have even been 11.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was never going to happen, but I was hopeful.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I had this fantasy that I would be in the choir rehearsal room before anyone else got there, playing a tune wistfully.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_01
And that she d come in, and it would win her over.
3
SPEAKER_01
This was really concocted.
3
SPEAKER_01
I know it well.
3
SPEAKER_02
I do too.
3
SPEAKER_01
And the only thing in my way was I had to learn.
3
SPEAKER_01
How to sing and play piano.
3
SPEAKER_02
Easy hurdle.
3
SPEAKER_01
Small.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I set about doing that, and I asked my dad, I want to learn how to play this song.
3
SPEAKER_01
He said, okay, there s four chords in it.
3
SPEAKER_01
He taught me the four chords, and that took a week to learn just shapes on piano.
3
SPEAKER_01
Then I said, oh, thanks for teaching me that, I want to learn this other song.
3
SPEAKER_01
He was like, this other song is the same four chords.
3
SPEAKER_01
That completely turned my world upside down.
3
SPEAKER_01
The idea that I d learned all this stuff without trying to learn all this stuff was so thrilling.
3
SPEAKER_01
And pop music is absolutely like that.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if either of you play anything, but there is such commonality in the sort of music underneath the song that if you want to play some song by this artist, you re also learning 600,000 other songs.
3
SPEAKER_01
That is a breakthrough.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s so exciting.
3
SPEAKER_00
They sound so fucking different.
3
SPEAKER_01
That was game changing.
3
SPEAKER_01
Did you ever orchestrate the moment where you were playing in front of her?
3
SPEAKER_01
Honestly, I kind of did, which is equally tragic that it didn t work.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know what I mean?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
To get that moment took like a year of being there early.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like I was Dracula.
3
SPEAKER_01
Sitting there playing every time and turning around and being like.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, and she didn t faint?
3
SPEAKER_01
No, she was, you know, smart.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then, yeah, I started singing about how I felt and trying to make it rhyme.
3
SPEAKER_01
And my mom, to her credit, and I think this is a really good strategy for teaching anything or parenting, was not sort of ever like, there s a right way or a wrong way to write songs.
3
SPEAKER_01
But she started to try to help me diagnose parts of songs.
3
SPEAKER_01
We d listen to a song, and she s like, this is a bridge.
3
SPEAKER_01
Do you hear the rhyme scheme in this?
3
SPEAKER_01
The rhyme scheme is A, B, C, B. That sort of language became visible to me.
3
SPEAKER_01
So that made me start writing.
3
SPEAKER_01
And it never felt like homework?
3
SPEAKER_01
It was never made to be homework.
3
SPEAKER_01
I just wanted to write all the time.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then I coerced friends to join bands with me and played in bands almost every day from the time I was like 12 to 18.
3
SPEAKER_00
What instrument were you playing in those?
3
SPEAKER_01
I was playing like crappy guitar and singing and desperately knew, dude, this is crazy.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m kind of remembering this now.
3
SPEAKER_01
When I did the movie Bad Teacher at 12, this is so naive and crazy.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was like, I m worried this is going to get in the way of my career of being a musician.
3
SPEAKER_01
I remember referencing Keanu Reeves.
3
SPEAKER_00
I remember being like, nobody takes his band seriously.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes, yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
So funny.
3
SPEAKER_00
By the way, I had the exact same completely foolish proposition where I was down on one of these car shows and I had set a record on this certain track in a car.
3
SPEAKER_00
Nice.
3
SPEAKER_00
And someone from Mobile One was talking to me and I always want to be a race car driver.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I had just got into the fourth level of the ground lanes.
3
SPEAKER_00
The guy was like, you should move down to Georgia and give this a shot.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I remember arrogantly thinking like,
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, you can go from actor to race car driver.
3
SPEAKER_00
You can t go from race car driver to actor.
3
SPEAKER_01
No one wants you to audition.
3
SPEAKER_01
Dax Shepard, the race car driver.
3
SPEAKER_00
Right, right.
3
SPEAKER_00
Lewis Hamilton s not going to be like in comedies at any point.
3
SPEAKER_00
He s so talented.
3
SPEAKER_00
He might be, but it would still, to your point, everybody would say this phrase.
3
SPEAKER_00
He s actually good just from the stigma.
3
SPEAKER_00
Whereas car racing is quantifiable.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re either faster or you re not.
3
SPEAKER_00
There s really no bullshit.
3
SPEAKER_01
Even when Timberlake started acting, which was hilarious because he d grown up on the Disney channel.
3
SPEAKER_01
He started acting everyone was like he should go back to making albums.
3
SPEAKER_01
Everyone was so mean about it And he s a very good actor.
3
SPEAKER_01
He was great in the social network.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes minimally.
3
SPEAKER_01
He s one of the best Saturday Night Live hosts He was super funny and bad teacher.
3
SPEAKER_01
He s very talented and consummate, but it s really just a prejudice
4
SPEAKER_01
against everybody thinking they can then go act.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_02
Okay, so that kind of answers my follow-up question, which is like, was music the priority?
4
SPEAKER_02
And it sounds like it was.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, to a crazy sort of psychopathic, the only thing I care about, the only thing I m focused on degree.
4
SPEAKER_01
Hours and hours a day.
4
SPEAKER_01
Hours a day and just really certain that that s what I wanted to do with my life.
4
SPEAKER_01
From a super young age, I was like 14 thinking that I could be in a band that was big at 14.
4
SPEAKER_01
Me and my friends and all our parents, what, on the road?
4
SPEAKER_02
It would be horrible.
4
SPEAKER_02
Obviously, I saw the documentary and I loved it.
4
SPEAKER_02
And your parents seemed so fucking dreamy.
4
SPEAKER_02
They re pretty awesome.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I can t imagine they just were edited well.
4
SPEAKER_01
They seem really special.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s totally the way they are.
4
SPEAKER_01
Having a documentary made about your family is such a weird experience.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if I ve actually seen the final.
4
SPEAKER_01
I saw whatever the first cut they showed us was, because they demanded we see it.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, well, that s enough for me.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t ever need to see that again.
4
SPEAKER_01
But even in that first cut, I was very happy about how well they documented our folks.
4
SPEAKER_00
It was an incredible documentary.
4
SPEAKER_02
It was beautiful.
4
SPEAKER_02
We became obsessed.
4
SPEAKER_02
I was up to lunch on all of it.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then I saw that and I was just like, Oh my God.
4
SPEAKER_02
And you in particular, we could go back and there are episodes of this show where we talked endlessly about this.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t even listen to the show enough.
4
SPEAKER_02
Well, it would have been around the circle of when that came out.
4
SPEAKER_02
We were kind of obsessed with it.
4
SPEAKER_02
We talked about it a lot and I was so blown away with you.
4
SPEAKER_02
Obviously your sister s so wonderful in all these ways, but I was like, this boy has a love and patience and a kindness.
4
SPEAKER_02
You re what, four years older?
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
As unique as your parents are to you guys, you as an older brother is really aspirational.
4
SPEAKER_02
I have a little sister.
4
SPEAKER_02
I like to think I m pretty damn nice to her.
4
SPEAKER_02
But like sitting in a room with her and helping her get to some place and get her feelings out and articulate her emotions.
4
SPEAKER_02
I certainly didn t do that.
4
SPEAKER_00
Working together on its own and sharing that sort of spotlight is hard for any two people, let alone siblings.
4
SPEAKER_00
I cannot imagine.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I was saved by the age gap in some ways, but if you were a year and a half apart, it would be a lot trickier.
4
SPEAKER_01
Maybe there s also a gendered thing.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m not seeing as much of myself in a younger brother or an older brother.
4
SPEAKER_01
Maybe there s just kind of a difference of she s a woman and I m not, and I feel inherently different than that person.
4
SPEAKER_01
Right, like you have your own lanes just by birth designation.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_01
I ve felt more competitive with my male friends than my women friends in my life.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s why we clock other dudes  bodies.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like, I m not measuring myself against Sidney Sweeney s body.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m measuring myself against Kumail s.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m losing both battles.
4
SPEAKER_00
You would lose big time to Sidney Sweeney.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yes, I m just saying it s not even on my radar because I m not trying to turn heads.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I mean, I really love her, Billie.
4
SPEAKER_02
Sidney Sweeney s great too.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, but you have a very strange order of events, which is you have written Ocean Eyes for your own band.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, a couple things happen.
4
SPEAKER_01
I get Logic Pro, the DAW, which is the same as Pro Tools or Ableton or something, a software on my computer to record.
4
SPEAKER_01
Start teaching myself how to do it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Go on YouTube to learn.
4
SPEAKER_01
Pretty much everything on YouTube is dudes in churches who make worship music.
4
SPEAKER_01
They re like, let me show you how to comp a vocal.
4
SPEAKER_01
Awesome.
4
SPEAKER_01
But it is kind of a funny lens to learn all this stuff.
4
SPEAKER_01
You learn this whole tutorial on drums, and then he s like, all right, now I m going to play my song.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it s like, I am a shell.
4
SPEAKER_01
You re like, oh, I have to try to not accidentally get indoctrinated.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I learn how to do this stuff.
4
SPEAKER_01
The motivation is I m in this band in high school and we don t have any money, so we can t record anywhere.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, I ll just start recording us.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I kind of like DIY records.
4
SPEAKER_01
The Strokes is a band I ve always loved.
4
SPEAKER_01
They make some albums that sound pretty raw and unpolished.
4
SPEAKER_01
And that sounds much more achievable than like a Green Day record or something where it s clear that they re in the nicest studio with the best people working on it.
4
SPEAKER_01
And there s this kind of lo-fi thing that I m like, that s cool.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m not good enough to make the hi-fi thing, but I could maybe make this.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I start teaching myself how to produce.
4
SPEAKER_01
This is kind of also, at the same time, the music that I grew up caring about and listening to, which is like drums and guitar and bass, is being fused in a cool way with really cool electronic stuff.
4
SPEAKER_02
Who are some of those bands you would say?
4
SPEAKER_01
One of the bands I have to give props to when I was like, whatever, 17, was like, there s a band, 21 Pilots, and their guitar and drums and piano.
4
SPEAKER_01
But there s all this really cool production underneath it.
4
SPEAKER_01
And even more than I liked their songs, this is an element of production that I m very fascinated by.
4
SPEAKER_01
Billie has always loved, like, hip hop.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I grew up listening to a lot of that with her.
4
SPEAKER_01
And that is its own really cool chapter of production.
4
SPEAKER_01
Everything Dr. Dre has ever done is like, as a producer, so incredible.
4
SPEAKER_01
I love Timbaland.
4
SPEAKER_01
I love Pharrell.
4
SPEAKER_01
Jay Dilla.
4
SPEAKER_01
Jay Dilla s amazing.
4
SPEAKER_01
I came to him later.
4
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, Dre and Pharrell and Timbaland were just blowing me away with the sounds of their drums and their synths.
4
SPEAKER_01
So catchy.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I just sort of started trying to experiment with stuff like that.
4
SPEAKER_01
I have one friend, Frank Dana, who s popular at his school.
4
SPEAKER_01
Huge currency at 17.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it s like, hey, you produce, right?
4
SPEAKER_01
And you re like, well, not really.
4
SPEAKER_01
And he s like, that s fine.
4
SPEAKER_01
Let s do some stuff.
4
SPEAKER_01
What a huge vote of confidence.
4
SPEAKER_01
And the real truth is, like, neither of us were good at making music at all.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I suddenly was making stuff with him.
4
SPEAKER_01
And we re putting it on SoundCloud.
4
SPEAKER_01
And his friends are listening to it and telling me I did a good job at producing it.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I m feeling so cool.
4
SPEAKER_01
I sort of say to Billy at some point in the summer of 2015, I m like, do you want to sing on some stuff?
4
SPEAKER_01
I ll write some stuff for you, and you can sing on it.
4
SPEAKER_02
Had she been singing around the house?
4
SPEAKER_02
She s got a great voice.
4
SPEAKER_01
She sang in a choir.
4
SPEAKER_02
She loves to sing.
4
SPEAKER_02
Can I just add really quick?
4
SPEAKER_02
What s really funny is when you re young, just necessity drives so much shit.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s like, this dude s got to take what he can get.
4
SPEAKER_02
He finds out you kind of produced that good enough.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s not like he s paying.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then you live with someone who sings, so it s like, let s get you on this, right?
4
SPEAKER_01
It s just all kind of necessity.
4
100%.
4
SPEAKER_01
So she starts singing.
4
SPEAKER_01
She s 13, so she s just now at the age where she can maybe even tolerate me saying, do another take of that verse a little more angry or whatever.
4
SPEAKER_01
Right, right.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so we start recording, and it s fun.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I ve still got this band, and the band is in sort of first stage of crisis.
4
SPEAKER_01
The other guys had finished high school.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was homeschooled, and I was like, I m going to die for this, like, just at 17.
4
SPEAKER_01
And our drummer, my friend David, who now is also a successful, great music producer, which is awesome, is in the same boat I am.
4
SPEAKER_01
He s like, I m going to not go to college.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, I m going to make music.
4
SPEAKER_01
And the other two guys are like, okay, we re going to go to college.
4
SPEAKER_01
Our band sucks.
4
SPEAKER_01
We re not like Green Day.
4
SPEAKER_01
We were not making Dookie at 18.
4
SPEAKER_01
We were making like terrible music.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I write the song Ocean Eyes that I think is like, I appreciate myself sitting there, but it doesn t feel like something for my band.
4
SPEAKER_01
There s a kind of a femininity to it.
4
SPEAKER_01
To me, I hear it and I think I d rather hear a girl s voice sing this.
4
SPEAKER_02
Was the band, is the adjective melancholy?
4
SPEAKER_01
No, the band was like a stupid pop band.
4
SPEAKER_01
I write this kind of sad ballad song.
4
SPEAKER_01
There s not even a place for guitar on this.
4
SPEAKER_01
How am I going to break the news to our guitarist?
4
SPEAKER_01
And so I say to Billie, do you have any interest in singing the song I wrote?
4
SPEAKER_01
And she sang it and I thought it sounded beautiful.
4
SPEAKER_01
And we recorded it and we put it on SoundCloud.
4
SPEAKER_01
The thing that I d heard about happening that always seemed like bullshit, which was you put it online and it gets
4
SPEAKER_01
plays straight up happened.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like we put it on SoundCloud and the next day it was on a blog and then the next day it was on more blog and it just started to percolate.
4
SPEAKER_01
We were not on Ellen the next day.
4
SPEAKER_01
It was not viral, but it was happening.
4
SPEAKER_01
It was like a thousand.
4
SPEAKER_01
Thousands of people were listening to something you made in your bedroom.
4
SPEAKER_01
And we were getting meetings with people because they liked it.
4
SPEAKER_01
So that was the genesis of it.
4
SPEAKER_02
When you heard it, because when I was young and I would do something, I was just so proud I had executed that I elevated everything I did.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like I would shoot shorts for the groundlings that I m like, this motherfucker might be in the Academy Awards.
4
SPEAKER_02
I was just so delighted I was accomplishing something I set out to.
4
SPEAKER_02
Ocean Eyes is an absolutely once in every couple years song.
4
SPEAKER_02
Thanks, man.
4
SPEAKER_02
If I had made it, if I were you, I d have been like, I think I made the best song of all time.
4
SPEAKER_02
Because it really is one of the greatest songs ever.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s an incredible song.
4
SPEAKER_02
You made it at such a young age.
4
SPEAKER_02
I would just be like, I can t believe this thing.
4
SPEAKER_00
And you re like, I did this kind of by accident.
4
SPEAKER_00
What if I really try to do something?
4
SPEAKER_01
So funny.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, to some degree.
4
SPEAKER_01
I ve had this many times in my life.
4
SPEAKER_01
We just had it with Barbie too, and I will get to that.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I did also get to see with my own eyes the difference between me and my crappy band singing this song, and my sister with her beautiful voice singing this song, and how night and day it was.
4
SPEAKER_00
This is special.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, this is fine.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then this is really important to me.
4
SPEAKER_01
And the Barbie comparison is we put the song out a week before the movie came out and people really liked it.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I got a lot of messages like this is a beautiful song.
4
SPEAKER_01
But when you went and saw the film and then the song meant everything the film meant to you and you have the sense memory of it.
4
SPEAKER_01
You inherited all of the emotion that the film accomplished.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I mean it was like every great piece of music from every movie.
4
SPEAKER_01
You see the font in your head.
4
SPEAKER_02
I had the most extreme version of this with that specific movie, which is my girls had seen it before I did, so the next day they were listening to the soundtrack.
4
SPEAKER_02
We re driving around in the car and they want to hear the I Am Ken song.
4
SPEAKER_02
Of course, which is so fun.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yes, but if you ve not seen the movie, it s a really trashy rock song.
4
SPEAKER_02
I would always be like, I want to skip this one.
4
SPEAKER_02
This is like a fight in our car.
4
SPEAKER_02
I ve now seen the movie four times.
4
SPEAKER_02
The song is outrageously good.
4
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, that s how much I needed the movie.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yours is on its own so fantastic.
4
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
4
SPEAKER_00
It means a lot.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I just mean that in terms of people s relationship with it, in terms of how they connect with it, it s one of the new songs that artists have put out this week.
4
SPEAKER_01
Enjoy.
5
SPEAKER_01
and they re listening to that with whatever the new peso pluma song is in the new Post Malone song and they re just sort of like here s new music versus the movie I saw yesterday that I laughed and I cried through and then I go home and listen that yeah suddenly you love it also here is a song that is now the symbol of the experience of women under a patriarchy yeah
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, now this song is, like, fucking, like, historic.
5
SPEAKER_00
I have to pee so bad, I m gonna use the bathroom.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, we ll step right out.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m proud of you for saying you had to and not just suffering through it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, you can go next.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m done.
5
SPEAKER_02
Back in it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Is this brand new?
5
SPEAKER_02
Like, is this, like... We just got that installed, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
What s great is you can only be as tall as me.
5
SPEAKER_00
Maximum height.
5
SPEAKER_00
If you were like, if you were six inches taller, you d hang yourself.
5
SPEAKER_00
How tall are you?
5
SPEAKER_00
Six, two and a half-ish.
5
SPEAKER_00
Taller than most.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t think I m tall.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, of course, I don t feel tall.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then I see pictures and I go, oh my God, you re too tall.
5
SPEAKER_01
Also, when you go to a concert or something where everybody s standing, you re looking over everybody.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yes, but you know because it s the only way I ve seen things I don t remember it other than I get self-conscious like the poor person behind me I slouch in chairs at premieres and I make myself small try to be conscientious.
5
SPEAKER_00
How tall are you Monica?
5
SPEAKER_02
Five feet and a half inch.
5
SPEAKER_01
Do you feel short?
5
SPEAKER_02
I don t.
5
SPEAKER_01
Great.
5
SPEAKER_02
Do you think I look it?
5
SPEAKER_01
Looking at both of you with my same two eyes?
5
SPEAKER_01
We re a bad pairing.
5
SPEAKER_02
Take him away from the scenario.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s the problem.
5
SPEAKER_02
If you just see me in the world.
5
SPEAKER_02
When you see me walking.
5
SPEAKER_01
You look like a iPod Nano looking at the two of you right now.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m not saying that you would as a person.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, when I see you about the neighborhood, I think, man, Monica s got those long legs that she wishes she didn t have, and she s getting away from me.
5
SPEAKER_02
For one year, I had long legs.
5
SPEAKER_01
I can t catch up to her.
5
SPEAKER_02
Damn it.
5
SPEAKER_02
I really should have enjoyed it while I had it.
5
SPEAKER_01
I see you around the neighborhood, and I think, she s five feet, but she s moving nightmarishly quickly.
5
SPEAKER_01
I can t.
5
SPEAKER_01
I know.
5
SPEAKER_01
She s a leg of a six footer.
5
SPEAKER_02
She doesn t even make sense.
5
SPEAKER_02
She s fast.
5
SPEAKER_02
I think I read taller than I am.
5
SPEAKER_02
I ve been told that.
5
SPEAKER_00
But so often people meet us together and it s really funny.
5
SPEAKER_01
You re on the slightly tall end of the spectrum and you re on the slightly shorter end of the spectrum.
5
SPEAKER_00
The common comment is like, wow, you re taller than I thought.
5
SPEAKER_00
And you re shorter than I thought.
5
SPEAKER_00
People love to say stupid shit.
5
SPEAKER_00
For me, it s generally goes well.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s like a reverse burn.
5
SPEAKER_00
This even happened.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was fucking presenting on an award show and I was paired with, who is that Australian actress singer maybe?
5
SPEAKER_00
very, very popular.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then in the middle of her presenting, she turned and she goes, wow, you re so much better looking in real life.
5
SPEAKER_00
She just said it out loud on the show.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think that would make me feel really good to make you feel good.
5
SPEAKER_00
It did.
5
SPEAKER_00
But you know, the mind, it s kind of an insult.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s kind of an, it s like, I ve been thinking you were not bad looking.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, totally.
5
SPEAKER_00
And it s all where your own self esteem is on that given day.
5
SPEAKER_00
So that day I was like, Oh, that s nice.
5
SPEAKER_00
Better that than I look worse in real life.
5
SPEAKER_00
I d prefer to look good in real life than on movies.
5
SPEAKER_00
Sure.
5
SPEAKER_00
Right.
5
SPEAKER_00
If I had to pick.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_02
Wait, real quick, I know we re in the middle of something, but now we re on this, and I do think it s interesting, because you bring this up a lot, that when people comment on the two of you.
5
SPEAKER_01
Me and Billy.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_02
And as people comment on us a lot as a duo.
5
SPEAKER_01
We had an argument.
5
SPEAKER_01
You re a duo.
5
SPEAKER_02
Whenever you re a duo, the comments are often, they can be at the expense of the other person, or in relation to.
5
SPEAKER_02
Dax really hates that, even though you did just do it in the thing we re cutting out.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I feel solid about that one.
5
SPEAKER_02
Everyone feels solid.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yes, it happens a lot when they write an article about Monica.
5
SPEAKER_02
The inclination is to go like... I mean, you hear it as they re saying it s despite you or something that I m good, but... It s tricky.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s tricky, but they re also trying to elevate me because I m not the main focus.
5
SPEAKER_00
Instead of just saying she s great it tends to be like if she weren t there or she keeps him from blank or the way they want to compliment her is somehow always at least feels disparaging to me whether it is or not.
5
SPEAKER_00
Does it bother you?
5
SPEAKER_00
It only bothered me when one of our friends they were asked to quote and we re friends and I was like that was a weird way to phrase that.
5
SPEAKER_00
What did they say?
5
SPEAKER_00
I wish I could remember the details.
5
SPEAKER_00
Was he like, Dax sucks and Monica s great?
5
SPEAKER_00
What d he say?
5
SPEAKER_02
He didn t know.
5
SPEAKER_00
Thank God Monica s there, because that guy just fucking sucks.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s what he said.
5
SPEAKER_00
So brutal.
5
SPEAKER_00
First academic to say that.
5
SPEAKER_00
It was an argument.
5
SPEAKER_00
We got in a debate.
5
SPEAKER_00
Did you hear this?
5
SPEAKER_00
Was this the end of the Wyatt, Kurt Russell episode?
5
SPEAKER_00
I think it was.
5
SPEAKER_00
Probably.
5
SPEAKER_01
It was that Monica had been watching.
5
SPEAKER_01
The Globes, right?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
I heard this because I woke up to texts from my friends in New York that were like, I didn t know you were going to be on Armchair.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, oh, and I listened to it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah, because we never do that, but we did it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Exciting.
5
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so then you re familiar with the debate.
5
SPEAKER_01
I remember it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Should we talk about it?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, let s talk about it.
5
SPEAKER_01
I remember both of your points.
5
SPEAKER_01
This is the day after the Globes or something.
5
SPEAKER_01
Monica s point, which was very kind, was Phineas stands there like a potted plant as they ask Billy a bunch of questions and then they go, bye guys.
5
SPEAKER_01
Wouldn t it be nice if they asked him a question?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Dax s point was
5
SPEAKER_01
Who cares?
5
SPEAKER_01
It s a little interview before the Golden Globes and she s wearing a cool outfit and he s wearing a suit and he s the millionth person that night in the suit.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it s not a representation of who s more important.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s a representation of the audience and the interview.
5
SPEAKER_00
A red carpet, like the conceit of a red carpet, which is let s get the most popular person here to talk about their outfit.
5
SPEAKER_01
Also, I m going to throw this in there.
5
SPEAKER_01
Red carpets fucking suck.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yes, yes.
5
SPEAKER_01
The interviews are awful.
5
SPEAKER_01
They re so uncomfortable.
5
SPEAKER_01
The idea that I get to stand there and not have to say anything is a thrill.
5
SPEAKER_02
You like it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Whoa, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And there are great interviews.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t want to be disparaging of all interviews.
5
SPEAKER_01
I just mean the format and the environment.
5
SPEAKER_01
If you watch an interview, you can see they shift the mic over to me and Billie relaxes and gets to not suddenly be nervous and have to come up with an answer to the question we ve been asked 450 times in the last two months.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s brutal.
5
SPEAKER_00
The closest analogy I can imagine is, you know, when the prisoners escape from jail and they shine that enormous light on the person s face?
5
SPEAKER_00
Because Kristen and I do a ton of interviews together too, right?
5
SPEAKER_00
When you get the sense that they re actually going and then the interviewer goes like, you guys haven t been out in public and all of a sudden you just feel like, oh fuck, that big old light is shining on me and I hope it s shining on her.
5
SPEAKER_00
I need a minute to think about this question.
5
SPEAKER_01
The best case scenario is that you re boring and the worst case scenario is you say something and they never invite you to anything ever again.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s like very high stakes.
5
SPEAKER_02
That s true.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then the point I ll add to, and you re here to answer this, which I appreciate is I was also making the point that there has to be some expectations on your end, like who you re trying to be.
5
SPEAKER_00
And my guess is that you re trying to be Quincy Jones.
5
SPEAKER_00
You said at Timberland, Pharrell.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m imagining that the space you want to occupy, you also recognize Quincy Jones was behind the Michael Jackson, but Quincy Jones is the genius that is in all these other things.
5
SPEAKER_00
I can t imagine as you endeavor into the job you have that you re expecting to be all that popular.
5
SPEAKER_00
Does that make any sense?
5
SPEAKER_01
I think that everybody in every avenue of their life is hoping to be seen for their work, right?
5
SPEAKER_01
If you do something, if you build your kids a playhouse and they go in and they go, well, whoever built this did a great job.
5
SPEAKER_01
And you go,
5
SPEAKER_01
I built him.
5
SPEAKER_01
Whoever s right here.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know what I mean?
5
SPEAKER_01
You want recognition.
5
SPEAKER_01
I feel very seen.
5
SPEAKER_01
I feel very lucky about how much recognition I already have.
5
SPEAKER_01
Most producers and songwriters have less than I do.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m aware of that and I don t take that for granted.
5
SPEAKER_01
And being as famous as Billy is a nightmare.
5
SPEAKER_01
I would never want that.
5
SPEAKER_01
She wears it really well, and she is actually a rock star.
5
SPEAKER_01
I say that as a person.
5
SPEAKER_01
She is a charismatic enigma.
5
SPEAKER_01
The air gets crackly in the room when she walks in, and it s cool to see that.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t feel that way when we re in my basement making a song, but I see it at a function.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I don t want to have that and I don t pretend to have it.
5
SPEAKER_01
And the consequence of that is she can t do anything.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s a heavy price to pay.
5
SPEAKER_01
She can t really walk around.
5
SPEAKER_01
I often try to sort of like, well, surely we can go to this little sandwich shop at this time of day because nobody will be in there and it ll be fine.
5
SPEAKER_01
And we go in there and it s kind of a disaster.
5
SPEAKER_01
The people making the sandwich are so weird and then take their aprons off and want a photo.
5
SPEAKER_01
And there s kids over at the table just filming us.
5
SPEAKER_01
There is an echelon of fame that s many, many, many rungs higher than I am that s untenable.
5
SPEAKER_01
And also she s a woman.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I think that people interact with women differently in the public eye.
5
SPEAKER_01
They re not intimidated by them in the way that they should be and in a way that they are respectful toward men.
5
SPEAKER_01
They have no compunctions about putting a phone in Billy s face and being like,
5
SPEAKER_01
This is my sister on FaceTime.
5
SPEAKER_01
I know that it s all a privilege and we re all lucky, but it s fucking rude.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t actually feel bad about saying that because everybody s so checked out of common courtesy and you wouldn t do any of this stuff to like your friend or a person that was your friend s friend.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s just absolutely rude.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know, and I love that s happening right now.
5
SPEAKER_01
Sure.
5
SPEAKER_02
I see it, too.
5
SPEAKER_00
I love it.
5
SPEAKER_02
She s your sister.
5
SPEAKER_00
You re protective of your sister.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s sweet.
5
SPEAKER_00
And by the way, I don t fight with people on the internet.
5
SPEAKER_00
They ll say shit about me.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t ever engage.
5
SPEAKER_00
When someone says something about Kristen, it s fucking on.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I won t complain about being famous, but on her behalf, I will do it.
5
SPEAKER_00
But what you re saying, and I think it s- And your sister.
5
SPEAKER_00
More than anyone.
5
SPEAKER_00
My sister, I ll kill everyone in this fucking room.
5
SPEAKER_00
But there s a claustrophobia.
5
SPEAKER_00
I ve been around certain people.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s too much.
5
SPEAKER_00
Everyone there can t not think about them.
5
SPEAKER_00
That feels very constricting to me and scary.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s crazy.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, and again, I get it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Everybody has people like that.
5
SPEAKER_01
And LA is a city like that.
5
SPEAKER_01
Whether you know them or not, whether you re in the industry or not, you will see some person who was very important to you for a period of your life at a diner and you ll be like, holy shit.
5
SPEAKER_01
That person who s so important to me is in this elevator.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it s hard not to be weird, but it s super claustrophobic.
5
SPEAKER_01
I ve had a couple instances of experiencing it on my
6
SPEAKER_00
own and I freaked out.
6
SPEAKER_00
The examples I ll give are like we were on tour a couple years ago and we were playing in Seattle and I went and had lunch with a friend in Capitol Hill which is like a cool neighborhood.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s not a great spot for you.
6
SPEAKER_00
We d just done it to ourselves because we were playing a show which meant that everyone was in town in that neighborhood to see our show which meant they knew who I was and it was the one day a year where I have the feeling of like I can t really go anywhere and I m getting chased and it s so awful.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s a little bit scary on a very primitive level.
6
SPEAKER_01
You feel a little hunted.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you like walk into poles and shit.
6
SPEAKER_01
You re totally clustered and disoriented.
6
SPEAKER_00
Absolutely.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
But I guess back to the thing about- So who s right?
6
SPEAKER_00
Well, I think that both of you are basically practicing empathy and you re both talking about the same thing, which is you re recognizing the Robin Andy Richter of the armchair expert with Dax Shepard.
6
SPEAKER_00
When we got to that.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
And you probably know implicitly how it feels to be the person always there, always participating in the thing, who s not the masthead.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yes, exactly.
6
SPEAKER_00
And you re offering a version that you ve experienced it in Parallels, which is that you date Kristen and you have these other versions of it where you re like, I ve also been the person standing there and holding the microphone for the person talking.
6
SPEAKER_01
Monica will tell you, 80% of the people that come up to me in real life to say hi, that they know me, they re there to say that they like my wife.
6
SPEAKER_01
They don t say they like me.
6
SPEAKER_01
They come up and they go, oh my God, I love your wife.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I go, me too.
6
SPEAKER_01
It took me 10 years to figure out what to say to that.
6
SPEAKER_00
How do you feel about people coming up to you with their friend and making sure you know that they don t know who you are?
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I love that.
6
SPEAKER_00
My girlfriend wanted to say hi, I guess she likes you.
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t even know who you are.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yes, yes, they re very proud of that.
6
SPEAKER_01
Luke Wilson was the one who first introduced me to this concept.
6
SPEAKER_01
We were doing Idiocracy together and he was saying, yeah, my favorite thing is, I m at a bar and all of a sudden some guy comes up to me, he s like, I don t know who the fuck you are, but apparently everyone in here thinks you re hot shit.
6
SPEAKER_00
What do they think you re going to do?
6
SPEAKER_00
Like, think they re so sick?
6
SPEAKER_00
What the fuck is going on?
6
SPEAKER_00
I took Claudia to Paris one time and we were by the Eiffel Tower.
6
SPEAKER_00
At night in the summer, the Eiffel Tower does this like glittery thing.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
So we were waiting for that to happen.
6
SPEAKER_00
And it was very sweet.
6
SPEAKER_00
This girl comes up and she s like sobbing.
6
SPEAKER_00
And she s with another friend who looks shocked.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then this third, very confident, kind of smirking friend who was like, you re going crazy.
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t even know who you are.
6
SPEAKER_00
And this girl s like trembling.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m just kind of calming her down.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, it s all right.
6
SPEAKER_00
We take a photo.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then the other girl who s like shocked, whatever.
6
SPEAKER_00
And the third girl who this whole time as I m taking these photos, this girl s like, who are you?
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t even know.
6
SPEAKER_00
Who cares?
6
SPEAKER_00
And finally she goes, can I have a picture?
6
SPEAKER_00
And I went, of fucking course not.
6
SPEAKER_00
You have no idea who I am and I told her I was like you just can t do both You can t have your cake and telling me I m unimportant and you don t know who I am and also beg me Just can t do that.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and I said to her friends.
6
SPEAKER_00
Don t ever let her forget.
6
SPEAKER_00
This is like Stupid
6
SPEAKER_01
I m interested in this.
6
SPEAKER_01
So what has changed for me is it s been 20 some years of this.
6
SPEAKER_01
So I chilled out and I have a totally different relationship with all of it than I had in the past.
6
SPEAKER_01
But another big element of it was I didn t feel entitled to accept the compliments I got because I was in Mike Judge s movie or I was in Jason Kadim s show.
6
SPEAKER_01
So when I would get those compliments, I couldn t really own them.
6
SPEAKER_01
This thing is the first thing you created.
6
SPEAKER_01
You do.
6
SPEAKER_01
And if you like it, it s not that you liked the character I played.
6
SPEAKER_01
You like me.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s totally changed my relationship with it.
6
SPEAKER_01
For the last six years, I genuinely can t wait to talk to any arm cherry that stops me.
6
SPEAKER_01
I fucking love it.
6
SPEAKER_01
And so I m wondering for you, you re in this interesting situation where it s like, it is yours, you can have full ownership, but also there is this very popular woman attached to it, and I don t know that you can delineate in any given time, is this a young girl who likes pop culture, or is this someone who appreciates the music?
6
SPEAKER_01
They usually clue me into it.
6
SPEAKER_00
If they re like, tell your sister I love her, that s great, and that s fine.
6
SPEAKER_00
But I think we feel enough of a share in the work that if they say I love what you make, that s awesome.
6
SPEAKER_00
I put out some music under my own name and I don t feel any better or worse about that in terms of like, if somebody goes, I love your thing.
6
SPEAKER_00
I go, thanks.
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t have, oh, that means so much more to me than saying you like Billy s thing.
6
SPEAKER_00
Cause I feel like we worked on it.
6
SPEAKER_01
This really ties exactly into the red carpet thing.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s truly just the ultimate message for every human being is like, if you feel it for yourself, none of the other stuff matters.
6
SPEAKER_01
You have to give yourself validation and self esteem.
6
SPEAKER_01
And what is obvious to me is you ve given it to yourself.
6
SPEAKER_01
So whether or not the interviewer from E!
6
SPEAKER_01
Entertainment, if that s even still an outlet, really doesn t matter.
6
SPEAKER_00
You also give it to each other.
6
SPEAKER_00
I mean, like, that s the other thing.
6
SPEAKER_00
Billie is so generous and effusive about me to me privately or publicly to me.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I for sure feel the same way.
6
SPEAKER_00
But I think that s the other big thing is sometimes you hear these weird like Hall and Oates, one of those guys just fully maligning the other guy.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, they can t stand each other.
6
SPEAKER_00
I really empathize because clearly they have personal grievances, but it plays so badly.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s not good.
6
SPEAKER_00
They re my favorite band, by the way.
6
SPEAKER_00
They re so talented.
6
SPEAKER_00
It is a hard pill to swallow when one part of a group says, it was really a solo project or some bullshit like that.
6
SPEAKER_00
And you re like, how come none of your solo projects worked then?
6
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
6
SPEAKER_01
How come that was the only magic?
6
SPEAKER_01
Well, and I think that becomes even what fuels the resentment.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s like, I am writing all these songs.
6
SPEAKER_01
I sing them all.
6
SPEAKER_01
Let s go Hall and Oates.
6
SPEAKER_01
Point of fact, Daryl Hall is the superior musician and songwriter.
6
SPEAKER_01
And he couldn t do it on his own.
6
SPEAKER_01
He s probably going like, what in the fuck?
6
SPEAKER_01
I write these songs.
6
SPEAKER_01
I sing them all.
6
SPEAKER_01
John s just back up dancing now.
6
SPEAKER_01
And yet I can t do it without him.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s like almost probably maddening.
6
SPEAKER_00
What I m picking up from that is that they don t love each other.
6
SPEAKER_01
Or they don t recognize what the other person s bringing.
6
SPEAKER_00
But my point is, if you love each other, then it doesn t matter.
6
SPEAKER_00
Not so much with Billie.
6
SPEAKER_00
We really are in the soup working together.
6
SPEAKER_00
But I have creative relationships with friends where we love each other.
6
SPEAKER_00
And we worked on three things together.
6
SPEAKER_00
And there s one that I did completely alone.
6
SPEAKER_00
And there s one that they did completely alone.
6
SPEAKER_00
And we just love each other and it doesn t bother me when somebody gives him credit for the thing I did or vice versa.
6
SPEAKER_00
I would love that guy to be successful.
6
SPEAKER_00
You would want that for them.
6
SPEAKER_00
Again, that s why I m trying to give as much empathy as I can to Hall & Oates or anybody like that.
6
SPEAKER_00
There actually isn t anything more painful than somebody that you hate getting credit for some shit you did.
6
SPEAKER_01
That is the worst feeling.
6
SPEAKER_01
It is, you re right.
6
SPEAKER_01
If you love them, you re like, oh, I m happy they get to shine.
6
SPEAKER_01
It doesn t matter.
6
SPEAKER_01
Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so you re getting increasingly into scoring, and I m curious about what did you have to learn as, I guess, the fallout was the first thing you scored?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so what did you have to master to do that?
6
SPEAKER_01
What was different about that process?
6
SPEAKER_00
So that movie, this is a funny example of how life feels.
6
SPEAKER_00
Megan Park, who directed a couple music videos for Billie years prior, comes to me and says, I m making this indie movie, Jen Ortega s gonna be in it.
6
SPEAKER_00
I get sort of told by her, this is gonna be the easiest,
6
SPEAKER_00
movie you re ever going to score.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s not very much music.
6
SPEAKER_00
I trust you.
6
SPEAKER_00
Just go do it.
6
SPEAKER_00
And because I didn t know what I was doing, I m making it feeling all sorry for myself being like, what are they talking about?
6
SPEAKER_00
This is so hard.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Of course.
6
SPEAKER_00
Cause I don t know what I m doing.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I ve now done some scoring jobs and I m like, that was totally the easiest scoring job I ll ever do.
6
SPEAKER_00
She was right.
6
SPEAKER_00
She was very generous.
6
SPEAKER_00
Make whatever you want.
6
SPEAKER_00
She had some feedback, but it was pretty light.
6
SPEAKER_00
We ve had a lot of conversations and understanding.
6
SPEAKER_00
We did the spotting session where you sit with the director and watch the movie and pause it every couple minutes and go like,
6
SPEAKER_00
There should be score here, what should it be?
6
SPEAKER_00
So then I did a movie like a year later.
6
SPEAKER_01
Really quick, is the most constraining thing the bizarre length of time the thing has to be?
6
SPEAKER_00
There s actually a person whose job it is to worry about that.
6
SPEAKER_00
So you make your piece of music that hopefully has beats and it goes to this, but also you re working on it while they re still editing it.
6
SPEAKER_00
So you can t really compose a piece of music that s like
6
SPEAKER_00
And then it starts right here because they re gonna cut a couple seconds out of it.
6
SPEAKER_00
So you make this piece that s kind of an approximation and a person whose job title is music editor takes your file and conforms it.
6
SPEAKER_00
I would say the hardest part is just that everything can be interpreted.
6
SPEAKER_00
Me as a musician, I watch the movie and I feel however I feel about this scene and I make some piece of music, whether I even love it or hate it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Hopefully I love it and feel like it s perfect for it.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then the director goes, I don t think this is what should be in the scene.
6
SPEAKER_00
And there s not much point in arguing because it s their film and they re a filmmaker.
6
SPEAKER_00
And in all the cases of the ones I ve scored, they re like, I wrote the script, I directed it and I m editing it.
6
SPEAKER_00
This song isn t right for it or this piece of music.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I think as a music producer, as a songwriter, I would sit with you both and we d write a song until we all felt good about it.
6
SPEAKER_00
So that sort of audition feeling of killing yourself over a piece of music for three days and presenting it to a filmmaker and them going,
6
SPEAKER_00
I don t like it. 
6
SPEAKER_00
And you go like, okay, and you shake the Etch-a-Sketch and like start over.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s crazy.
6
SPEAKER_00
A guy I work with on my scoring stuff one time was like, it s like setting time on fire.
6
SPEAKER_00
That was how he described it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like you ve done a thing that teaches you nothing.
6
SPEAKER_00
Control-Alt-Delete the whole thing.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and then the best part to me is that you watch this scene and it evokes something and you would never have made the piece of music without watching the scene and the scene wouldn t be as good without that piece of music you made and that handshake is so cool.
6
SPEAKER_01
And there s these famous stories, I m sure you re now becoming aware of them, like Chinatown, right?
6
SPEAKER_01
Do you know the story about Chinatown?
6
SPEAKER_01
I don t know the Chinatown one.
6
SPEAKER_01
That was one of the most famous scores of all time, but Chinatown had been directed and sat on a shelf at Paramount for like two years.
6
SPEAKER_01
It just tested terribly.
6
SPEAKER_01
They could not get this movie to test well and work.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then, is it Gold?
6
SPEAKER_01
Most famous composer, I m forgetting his name, Gold something.
6
SPEAKER_01
He does the famous Chinatown score to it.
6
SPEAKER_01
They test it, it tests in the nineties and wins Best Pitcher.
6
SPEAKER_01
Somehow that music made the entirety of that movie make sense.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s a great score.
7
SPEAKER_01
But there s so many scores like that.
7
SPEAKER_01
Lord of the Rings is a score that growing up was so evocative to me as an older adolescent.
7
SPEAKER_01
Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross scored The Social Network.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh, so good.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I love that movie.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I also had an epiphany for me as a child of like, I who can t write a full orchestra because that s not a language I speak, I can make cool synths.
7
SPEAKER_01
And how well that worked together, there are pivotal experiences of score to me.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, Trent s a really great example of it.
7
SPEAKER_00
But before him, Talking Heads, he s done some score.
7
SPEAKER_00
There s John Bryan.
7
SPEAKER_00
John Bryan is unbelievable.
7
SPEAKER_00
Those film scores, Punch Drunk Love.
7
SPEAKER_00
Absolutely.
7
SPEAKER_00
And you know what s funny is as I was starting to direct and as I was learning the importance of score, John Bryan was, of course, the one I was most obsessed with.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I started realizing, I was like, OK, my favorite movies are Eternal Sunshine.
7
SPEAKER_00
I love that movie so much.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s so great.
7
SPEAKER_00
All the Paul Thomas Anderson movies.
7
SPEAKER_00
What you start realizing is like,
7
SPEAKER_00
I think I m obsessed with John Bryan.
7
SPEAKER_00
Totally the common thread.
7
SPEAKER_00
I was thinking it was these directors and obviously they re great directors, but weirdly all these movies fit into the same column of me loving them emotionally.
7
SPEAKER_00
And it was actually John Bryan.
7
SPEAKER_00
Isn t that crazy?
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, like you would think, oh, I should go see how everything they directed.
7
SPEAKER_00
No, I should go out and see everything John has scored.
7
SPEAKER_01
Claudia would tell you it s the thing I remark on.
7
SPEAKER_01
We ll be watching some movie and I ll go like, man, this is great.
7
SPEAKER_01
I fucking can t stand this score.
7
SPEAKER_01
I spent last year doing this score for this series that s on Apple that Alfonso Cuaron directed.
7
SPEAKER_01
Disclaimer.
7
SPEAKER_01
That was like going to university for a year.
7
SPEAKER_01
It was crazy.
7
SPEAKER_01
In terms of just how much I learned and the length and so outside of my comfort zone of what I know how to do as a musician.
7
SPEAKER_01
Also, Alfonso Cuaron is a very intimidating director.
7
SPEAKER_01
Because he s so brilliant.
7
SPEAKER_01
He s so brilliant.
7
SPEAKER_01
I have a funny origin story with Alfonso, which was Billy and I are on tour in Milan in spring of 2018, way before she has like a mainstream thing.
7
SPEAKER_01
She has like a buzzy EP at the time.
7
SPEAKER_01
Our tour manager says, hey, Boo Cuaron is coming tonight.
7
SPEAKER_01
She s Alfonso Cuaron s daughter.
7
SPEAKER_01
And we re like, oh, that s cool.
7
SPEAKER_01
They re getting the VIP wristband.
7
SPEAKER_01
Whatever you do.
7
SPEAKER_01
We re playing the tiniest venue.
7
SPEAKER_00
There s no difference.
7
SPEAKER_00
You can t get closer.
7
SPEAKER_01
Billy s meeting everyone at the venue anyway.
7
SPEAKER_01
Boo actually is the coolest, nicest person.
7
SPEAKER_01
She s great.
7
SPEAKER_01
And you never know what that means.
7
SPEAKER_01
Maybe Boo s coming with a friend and her friend s family.
7
SPEAKER_01
So she shows up and he s there.
7
SPEAKER_01
They re kind of there before the show.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, oh my god.
7
SPEAKER_01
Back to the like, how to not be weird around a person you admire.
7
SPEAKER_01
Prisoner of Azkaban is the best Harry Potter movie and Harry Potter the franchise is so important to me.
7
SPEAKER_01
And Gravity s incredible too.
7
SPEAKER_01
But like, I just was so crazy about that.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
We love Claudia, but I also want you guys to get married.
7
SPEAKER_02
Because I like you both.
7
SPEAKER_00
We love Claudia.
7
SPEAKER_00
I know, we love Claudia.
7
SPEAKER_00
She s going to be around forever.
7
SPEAKER_00
Five years is a long time.
7
SPEAKER_00
I know, but Harry Potter.
7
SPEAKER_00
There s no cracks in the wall.
7
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, so I say hi to Boo and she s awesome.
7
SPEAKER_01
We have a lovely conversation.
7
SPEAKER_01
I can barely look Alfonso in the eye and I go like, Prisoner of Azkaban is on fire.
7
SPEAKER_01
Mumble something to me.
7
SPEAKER_01
And he goes, the sound at the second verse of hostage, the Billy song, where it goes,
7
SPEAKER_01
He goes, what go like that?
7
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, what?
7
SPEAKER_01
Personally, he s a very musical guy, but he d been listening to Billy s music with his daughter and caring about it and liking the sounds.
7
SPEAKER_01
And he was like, can I send you a playlist?
7
SPEAKER_01
And we started sending each other playlists.
7
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
7
SPEAKER_01
My great point of pride is I sent him the song Ponyboy by the amazing, gone but not forgotten DJ, Sophie.
7
SPEAKER_01
That s a crazy piece of music.
7
SPEAKER_01
I got to add that.
7
SPEAKER_01
She was a real visionary and very inspiring.
7
SPEAKER_01
But Alfonso was like, I m loving this Ponyboy song.
7
SPEAKER_01
And he d come to LA once a year for some meeting with Netflix and we d have dinner and he was so cool.
7
SPEAKER_01
This is kind of like the origin of all my scoring.
7
SPEAKER_01
I get this call during COVID and he s like, obviously COVID s happening, nothing s going on, but I m going to do this thing and I think you should score it.
7
SPEAKER_01
His justification, which totally makes sense, is he barely has score in anything.
7
SPEAKER_01
Roma has no score, Children of Men barely has any score.
7
SPEAKER_01
And he was like, so I m not really a score guy and you re not really a composer.
7
SPEAKER_01
Let s do it.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I was immediately panicked.
7
SPEAKER_01
You know what I mean?
7
SPEAKER_01
And so I went and scored other stuff.
7
SPEAKER_01
So I scored The Fallout and then I scored this movie for BJ Novak.
7
SPEAKER_01
I just did anything anyone would let me do and learned a ton and I m very grateful to them and I like those movies.
7
SPEAKER_01
But it was actually all so that I would know what to do when Alfonso then called.
7
SPEAKER_00
You re so responsible.
7
SPEAKER_01
I would have just panicked and tried to get out of it until the day arrived.
7
SPEAKER_01
I was still totally unprepared.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I have only more love for him after this process ended.
7
SPEAKER_01
But the only thing I prepared myself for was how soul crushing it is.
7
SPEAKER_01
Like, I only prepared myself for the feeling of turning in a piece of music and the person you love going, it s not good.
7
SPEAKER_01
And Alfonso, to his credit, is very good with his language.
7
SPEAKER_01
He uses words like, I m not connecting with this one, right?
7
SPEAKER_01
He s never like, this sucks.
7
SPEAKER_01
Right.
7
SPEAKER_01
There s a failing on my part.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yes, exactly.
7
SPEAKER_01
I do the same thing with people whenever I m trying to articulate it where I go, I must not have explained myself well enough.
7
SPEAKER_01
You can really put a lot of onus on yourself.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
7
SPEAKER_01
Not trigger the defensiveness.
7
SPEAKER_01
Well, because it makes it inarguable too.
7
SPEAKER_01
So that was an amazing experience.
7
SPEAKER_01
I definitely am in a little bit of a detox period.
7
SPEAKER_01
Scoring seven episodes, it was like hours and hours of score.
7
SPEAKER_01
For about a year, there was never a day where I shouldn t be working.
7
SPEAKER_01
Didn t have homework.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
7
SPEAKER_01
Never like a Saturday where I was like, nothing to do today.
7
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I could actually go do 10 hours of work right now if I wanted to.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I should definitely do three.
7
SPEAKER_01
This is the plague of a writer.
7
SPEAKER_01
Of course, there s always writing to write.
7
SPEAKER_00
Now, you ve already answered my question by demonstrating it, but you have said that being an actor was helpful, that learning to play a character was really helpful in helping the different artists you ve worked with, which have been a bunch of impressive ones at this point.
7
SPEAKER_00
You re taking on their voice and even used the word vernacular, which I love, is like to make it really sound like it would be them and be their story.
7
SPEAKER_00
Where do they say all this bullshit?
7
SPEAKER_00
Being so verbose.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, the exact quote.
7
SPEAKER_00
Playing characters has helped you as a songwriter, producer.
7
SPEAKER_00
It was on the red carpet.
7
SPEAKER_00
They re vernacular, so it s... No, it wasn t.
7
SPEAKER_00
It was really good, and I bought it.
7
SPEAKER_00
You said sometimes you ll write a really cool lyric, and the artist will go, oh, that s really cool.
7
SPEAKER_00
And they might even be inclined to do it, but you have to actually figure out, can they wear it?
7
SPEAKER_00
And when I was watching the doc, I was like, that s what this guy s gift is beyond musically, is you re really able to
7
SPEAKER_00
get in and figure out what the person s trying to say.
7
SPEAKER_00
I feel like you can put people on pretty well.
7
SPEAKER_00
That s why I would imagine you actually be really good at scoring, because yes, you re turning over something that s their movie, but this is already what you ve been doing.
7
SPEAKER_00
Their movie is their personality, just like these artists are.
7
SPEAKER_01
In the match made in heaven of me and Billie, to me, I believe anything she says.
7
SPEAKER_01
When she sings a line, she conveys it.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s inarguable.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s such a gift.
7
SPEAKER_01
I often work with artists where I ll maybe write some lyric with them,
7
SPEAKER_01
that feels clever, and they ll sing it, and I m like, that gives me the shivers.
7
SPEAKER_01
I don t really like, that doesn t sound, I feel like I m being lied to.
7
SPEAKER_01
Sounds annoying when you say it.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
Well, that s like when we had David Sedaris on.
7
SPEAKER_01
I love David Sedaris.
7
SPEAKER_01
I ve read all of David Sedaris  books.
7
SPEAKER_00
He s so special.
7
SPEAKER_00
So perfect.
7
SPEAKER_00
We made him a member of our seven person Illuminati.
7
SPEAKER_02
We did, we did.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
Sharing his role with Bill Gates.
7
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But he said if he ever feels too precious about a line, he cuts it.
7
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So disciplined.
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SPEAKER_01
So disciplined, I mean that s different than what you re saying, but sort of like sounds so good to you But then you hear it come out of someone s mouth and you re like, oh, yeah It definitely proved fully true and scoring the night that I made a piece that I go I don t even know if this is good at all was the night that Alfonso be like this is great and the night that I was like he s gonna love this he would be like this is not right
7
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My follow-up question to that was, playing these different characters, I was like, I wonder if Phineas is a mimic.
7
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And then it s already happened.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh, done some accents.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yes, he does Alfonso, he did Arnold, he did the French girl.
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SPEAKER_00
This is not even cool.
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SPEAKER_00
I went a little German on that by accident.
7
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I was close.
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Mine s zig and zag.
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They sometimes start as Italian.
7
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I do love an impression.
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I m not like, you know, Jay Pharoah.
7
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I m not doing a bunch of famous people.
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I do like my friend.
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SPEAKER_00
Yes, similarly, I don t think of myself as someone who can do it, but if I hang out with somebody, I can do it.
7
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Or if I watch a series long enough, I eventually get there.
7
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And some people also
7
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are not impressionable.
7
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Some people have such a signature crazy thing that they do.
7
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The whole Christopher Walken syndrome.
7
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Everyone can do a bad Christopher Walken because it s so unique, but not many people can do like... Ed Helms.
7
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Exactly.
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Ed Helms is deeply neutral.
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Your life is about sound, so I m not surprised.
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That I imitate people.
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It makes me think of Kristen.
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Yeah, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh, is she a mimic?
7
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
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To the degree that if you watch a show with her, anybody, or she did a movie with Drew Barrymore, if she had called somebody during that movie and talked, people would have thought it was Drew Barrymore.
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She can really do anybody.
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Her life is about sound as well, so it makes sense.
7
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Oh, here s a fun chapter of my relationship.
7
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Claudia, you know, at some point, very early on, was like, oh, you just do impressions for your own amusement all the time.
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And I think at one point said to me, lovingly, like, would it kill you to tell the story not in this accent?
7
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Oh, I can relate to Claudia.
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Like, because I m telling it about the guy that I met at the thing, and he s from Croatia, and I m just doing the voice.
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And I think she was like, I get it.
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SPEAKER_01
You can do it.
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SPEAKER_01
Can you just do a regular voice?
7
SPEAKER_01
I disagree with Monica and Claudia.
7
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I would love to live with you and hear all the characters.
7
SPEAKER_01
Hey, sorry.
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It s my greatest gift.
7
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It s the thing that I m more proud of than anything.
7
SPEAKER_01
But somewhere along the line, we realized that Claudia, who s a very physically funny person, can kind of do everybody s gait.
7
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She can kind of do everybody s walk, the way they sit in a chair.
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And that s not really my bag.
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That s what you re laying.
7
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But I ve started sort of being like,
8
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How do you, because she sometimes doesn t even care, but she s already noticed it.
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So I ll be like, how does that person walk across the room?
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And she ll just kill it, you know?
8
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Together we make one whole.
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Comedian.
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Body and mind of an impression.
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And she ll probably know what hand gestures people use.
8
SPEAKER_00
She rocks it, yeah.
8
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Yeah.
8
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Immediately.
8
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She s very good at it.
8
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
8
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You re finishing a new album.
8
SPEAKER_00
Billy s new album is done.
8
SPEAKER_00
You re done.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
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You ve finished scoring the movie.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
8
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And so what do you want to do now?
8
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And are you able to take breaks?
8
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Yes, I mean I ve been sort of outside of the award season that just ended.
8
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Congratulations.
8
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Thanks, how crazy.
8
SPEAKER_00
You guys wrote that song in 30 minutes, is that true?
8
SPEAKER_01
We wrote it really fast.
8
SPEAKER_02
No.
8
SPEAKER_01
Billy time checked us because we recorded it.
8
SPEAKER_01
I think it was like an hour or an hour and a half, but it was very fast.
8
SPEAKER_01
But I was talking about this with somebody the other day.
8
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It is unfortunate that the songs or the anything that you work on for three months is good, but the one that happens immediately is usually like the great.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, well, it kind of makes sense.
8
SPEAKER_02
It was meant to come out.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s inspired.
8
SPEAKER_01
That was a wild experience.
8
SPEAKER_00
You listen to Stern a lot.
8
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I listen to so many different musicians being interviewed, and 90% of these legendary songs in the canon, someone was in the shower, they stepped out, they sat down, they wrote it in 35 seconds.
8
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I had an idea.
8
SPEAKER_00
Does that even open up your mind to spirituality or anything?
8
SPEAKER_00
It s because it s weird, right?
8
SPEAKER_00
It s super weird.
8
SPEAKER_00
I don t mean to be dismissive of spirituality, but I don t want to use it as a crutch.
8
SPEAKER_00
You don t want to link it to that and then not be able to tap into that.
8
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
8
SPEAKER_00
That makes sense.
8
SPEAKER_02
Kind of superstitious.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s like a superstitious.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, maybe a little superstitious.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m much calmer.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m doing a bunch of music with some friends of mine for maybe a solo record and some collaborative stuff in a very back to what I started making music doing, which is a bunch of people in a room playing cool stuff and making jams, which is very antithetical to the way I ve had a career, which is like me and Billy in a room or me scoring alone in a room.
8
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It s all been kind of lonely.
8
SPEAKER_01
When Billy and I are together, it s not, but there s a kind of a loneliness to producing.
8
SPEAKER_01
And so I ve been trying to be very social and collaborative for fun.
8
SPEAKER_02
How old are you in the video of you and Billy at the piano?
8
SPEAKER_02
You re playing a Frank Ocean song.
8
SPEAKER_01
With the long hair.
8
SPEAKER_02
You both look so young.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
I was like 18, 17.
8
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s such a sweet video.
8
SPEAKER_02
How many people say this to you?
8
SPEAKER_02
Is your mom just so proud?
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah.
8
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Our mom is like a hilariously good person.
8
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I paid off her mortgage and she immediately started a non-profit.
8
SPEAKER_01
Immediately devoted her life to service.
8
SPEAKER_01
Her non-profit is so incredible.
8
SPEAKER_01
Support and Feed, if you want to look it up.
8
SPEAKER_02
That s why she got these kids.
8
SPEAKER_01
Support and Feed.
8
SPEAKER_00
Go to supportandfeed.org.
8
SPEAKER_00
Or whatever.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s probably an org.
8
SPEAKER_01
It might be an org.
8
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
8
SPEAKER_00
I love an org.
8
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But it s great.
8
SPEAKER_01
They re the best.
8
SPEAKER_01
They re so great.
8
SPEAKER_01
And we really do feel like it s no mystery.
8
SPEAKER_01
We really are just sort of our parents  children.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, but you know, Dax has two girls.
8
SPEAKER_02
They re at the Oscars singing together.
8
SPEAKER_00
If you have kids someday, you ll experience this.
8
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I desperately want to.
8
SPEAKER_00
I feel like you really should.
8
SPEAKER_00
Are you a child pusher?
8
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I am.
8
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I m not a shamer, but I m here to say as a very selfish human being, it trumps all the other spectacular things I ve got to do.
8
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if you feel this way, but when you were 14 and you thought you were going to be in a band that was huge, and you fantasized about this whole thing, and then you ve arrived at that location.
8
SPEAKER_00
My hunch is you love it, you re grateful for it, it s very wonderful, the process is great.
8
SPEAKER_00
Additionally, you re not living in a fantasy.
8
SPEAKER_00
There s no transcended elation that accompanies that, or is there?
8
SPEAKER_01
The example I d give is playing a live show is pretty magical, and the longevity of that is pretty magical.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m not saying that maybe you re going to play
8
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biggest venue of your life every night forever.
8
SPEAKER_01
But if you can sustain something like that, like your podcast, whatever it is, the ongoingness of it is fulfilling.
8
SPEAKER_01
Making albums with Billy over the years is fulfilling.
8
SPEAKER_01
I don t want to stop doing that.
8
SPEAKER_01
But The Shine, this is a weird example.
8
SPEAKER_01
There s a billboard chart for everything.
8
SPEAKER_01
In 2019, they launched a billboard chart for songwriters.
8
SPEAKER_01
The songwriters that had the most percentage of songwriting on the most songs on the chart at the same time.
8
SPEAKER_01
And they started a producer s chart.
8
SPEAKER_01
And the day it started, I was number one on both charts for five weeks in a row.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yep.
8
SPEAKER_01
And when you keep being number one, your brain is so dumb.
8
SPEAKER_01
You re like, I guess I m just number one forever now.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s cool.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I had to very quickly in the middle of that be like, maybe never again.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I never thought I would be, and here I am.
8
SPEAKER_01
I practice that all the time.
8
SPEAKER_01
I always joke that you can like not really care about who wins the award.
8
SPEAKER_01
When they re opening the envelope, your heart s beating way faster.
8
SPEAKER_01
Even if you re going to leap to your feet and applaud for the other person who beats you, human nature is like, I want to be picked.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, of course.
8
SPEAKER_00
Pick me, see me.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you wanna be seen.
8
SPEAKER_01
There s also a weird thing that it does that s like, is my thing bad now?
8
SPEAKER_01
Even though you got nominated.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s the bizarre thing about the Academy Awards.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s like six losers leave.
8
SPEAKER_01
By the end of the night, the room is full of losers.
8
SPEAKER_00
Mostly losers.
8
SPEAKER_02
Of the best movies.
8
SPEAKER_00
29 winners and 190 losers.
8
SPEAKER_00
Well, the place I was going with the kids thing, and Monica is a more salient example.
8
SPEAKER_00
So I had a fantasy of owning a house as beautiful as the one you re at.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s beautiful.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but when I pull up to it, I m grateful for it, but it doesn t give me this feeling I thought having a house this beautiful would give me.
8
SPEAKER_00
But when I drive by Monica s across the street, every time I see it, I could almost cry.
8
SPEAKER_00
It actually gives me the feeling I was fantasizing about for myself, but that I can t actually grasp.
8
SPEAKER_00
What do you attribute that to?
8
SPEAKER_00
Why does it matter so differently to you?
8
SPEAKER_00
I can be really happy for her and I can be very proud of her.
8
SPEAKER_00
And maybe if I m proud of me, I won t be ambitious anymore.
8
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what the hiccup is.
8
SPEAKER_02
You can see it objectively when it s not you.
8
SPEAKER_02
When it s you, you re like, you re in your own brain and you re chasing something else or there s something else you need or want or trying to get.
8
SPEAKER_02
When it s separate from you, but still connected, which is what you re saying about the kiss.
8
SPEAKER_02
When it s your kids who you made, I cannot imagine a better feeling in life.
8
SPEAKER_01
Do you want to know an interesting thing just related to this that our parents have always done?
8
SPEAKER_01
And Billy and I make fun of them for it a lot.
8
SPEAKER_01
Our parents have never ever told us good job.
8
SPEAKER_01
They ve never ever told us they re proud of us.
8
SPEAKER_01
Ever.
8
SPEAKER_01
or good for them, they re keeping it dangling.
8
SPEAKER_01
And their feeling is we don t want your relationship to how you feel about your accomplishment to be like, was my parent proud of me for this?
8
SPEAKER_01
And then they didn t say they were proud of me that next time.
8
SPEAKER_01
And maybe I didn t do a good enough job.
8
SPEAKER_01
Were you raised like rye technique or this is just on their own?
8
SPEAKER_01
It s just their own thing.
8
SPEAKER_01
They might have a background in that.
8
SPEAKER_01
We did classes in nonviolent communication.
8
SPEAKER_01
So we have a lot of like my feelings, a lot of good language.
8
SPEAKER_00
Emotional learning.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yes, exactly.
8
SPEAKER_00
But for my kids, they both do plays sporadically, one more than the other.
8
SPEAKER_00
And when I see the 10 year old get on stage and take a big swing, I m so proud in a way that I never was for myself.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s not like I was up there going, I m so proud of you.
8
SPEAKER_00
You were afraid of this and now you ve stood up and done it.
8
SPEAKER_00
But I know these little tiny people and they were just little people.
8
SPEAKER_00
So yeah, when I see them do that stuff, it is the elation I fantasized about for myself that I can t touch through them.
8
SPEAKER_00
I can, and I love it.
8
SPEAKER_01
It sounds like that s the vehicle, seeing Monica s house, seeing your kids succeed in a thing that does bring you all this pride and self-fulfillment.
8
SPEAKER_01
Is there a thing that is internal that brings you a lot of pride and self-fulfillment?
8
SPEAKER_01
I have a weird current answer to you.
8
SPEAKER_01
Like I rock climb a lot now.
8
SPEAKER_01
I feel fucking good when I get up to the top of the wall.
8
SPEAKER_01
If I have been struggling on the thing and I didn t even get the climb at the last time I was at the gym and I go back and then I send it, I feel so good about myself.
8
SPEAKER_01
I have that on the motorcycle track.
8
SPEAKER_01
I figured you were gonna say that.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, because again, it s quantifiable.
8
SPEAKER_00
How fast was I today?
8
SPEAKER_00
I was faster than almost everyone there, and I m older than everyone.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that shit, I ll go like, well, that s real.
8
SPEAKER_00
The artistic stuff is tricky because- Objective.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I have imposter syndrome, so on some level, anytime I have success in an artistic way, I think, did I fool everyone?
8
SPEAKER_00
Is it as good as I wanted it to be?
8
SPEAKER_00
Could it ever be as good as you want it to be?
8
SPEAKER_01
Nothing weirder than coming off stage, whether you re doing this podcast live or some other thing, and you had a shitty time,
8
SPEAKER_01
You cannot believe a person who tells you something nice.
8
SPEAKER_01
You swat it away immediately.
8
SPEAKER_01
If we have a bad show and somebody s like, you were unbelievable.
8
SPEAKER_01
Your only response is like, well, now I know you re full of shit.
8
SPEAKER_00
To me, it s like, not only was I bad, I m being pitied.
8
SPEAKER_00
I forced them to lie to my face.
8
SPEAKER_00
Thanks for lying to me.
8
SPEAKER_00
I feel guilty.
8
SPEAKER_00
Like I put this poor person in a situation where they got to come up and lie to me.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s so interesting.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so really measurable things appeal to me.
8
SPEAKER_01
Thing that you weren t good at, that you got good at, couldn t do the skill, now you can do the skill.
8
SPEAKER_01
Do you have anything like that, Monica?
8
SPEAKER_01
She had it, and then she retired.
8
SPEAKER_02
She really did?
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
She couldn t do a flip.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s OK.
8
SPEAKER_02
I couldn t do a flip, but then I could do a flip.
8
SPEAKER_01
Because you had those legs.
8
SPEAKER_02
They were in my way.
8
SPEAKER_02
They were so dangling.
8
SPEAKER_01
They were scraping the bottom of the sun when you flipped up into the air.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s right.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s right.
8
SPEAKER_01
Challenge.
8
SPEAKER_02
I think I feel it when I m with friends and they have a problem.
8
SPEAKER_01
And you solve it.
8
SPEAKER_02
And we work through their problem.
8
SPEAKER_02
That s when I leave and I m like, that was a good day.
8
SPEAKER_01
How can you not feel good about yourself there?
8
SPEAKER_01
Whether it s mediation or just offering a solution that works.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, and figuring something out together and by the end people are better off.
8
SPEAKER_01
It feels really good to find somebody s missing pair of sunglasses or something.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s kind of like you said, puzzles, figuring out problems.
8
SPEAKER_02
I do enjoy that.
8
SPEAKER_00
That stuff is nice.
8
SPEAKER_00
I want to go back to the Academy Award thing, because I m wondering if these are similar.
8
SPEAKER_00
So the thing that we both wrestle with, and this thing I m striving to really incorporate, is when you have something you love for us, then it switches to, well, fuck, I don t want to lose it.
8
SPEAKER_00
Bizarre transference from building something to then protecting something and being afraid you re going to lose it.
8
SPEAKER_00
And the way out of that thus far for me, or when I can feel good about it, and I feel like this is kind of what
9
SPEAKER_02
you re saying, which is, if it goes away, it doesn t mean it didn t happen.
9
SPEAKER_02
Exactly.
9
SPEAKER_02
I feel in those fearful moments that if I lose it, it somehow didn t happen.
9
SPEAKER_02
It s weird though, it feels like that.
9
SPEAKER_02
Okay, this was my last question.
9
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_02
And it s weird, now that I m getting to know you a little bit, I don t think it s relevant anymore.
9
SPEAKER_02
Somehow you re 36, but you re 27. 26.
9
SPEAKER_00
26.
9
SPEAKER_00
What a dick.
9
SPEAKER_02
26 are dicks.
9
SPEAKER_00
That s what they say.
9
SPEAKER_02
26 are dicks.
9
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_02
So when I was 27, I felt like I could feel 30 approaching and I felt like there was going to be a new decade of my life upon me.
9
SPEAKER_02
I got sober at 29, two months before I turned 30.
9
SPEAKER_02
I did start looking at the next decade of my life and starting to just think about what I wanted the life to be.
9
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
9
SPEAKER_02
I ve just feel like twenties, you re throwing everything at the wall and some things are sticking.
9
SPEAKER_02
You re trying to make a living and define yourself.
9
SPEAKER_02
And then you go like, wow, I m actually in the driver s seat.
9
SPEAKER_02
Where are we going?
9
SPEAKER_02
Are you feeling that at all?
9
SPEAKER_01
I m so far past all the stuff I thought I d ever be able to do.
9
SPEAKER_01
So that s awesome.
9
SPEAKER_01
But scary in a weird way.
9
SPEAKER_01
You re like an Olympian in a weird way.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but I really do feel for people who have that kind of body clock of, holy shit, I m only going to be the fastest swimmer for another six years.
9
SPEAKER_01
And then it s not even going to be close.
9
SPEAKER_01
And that must feel bizarre to sort of have this ability that s better than anyone else that s going to go away from you no matter what.
9
SPEAKER_01
I feel like I ll be able to write songs and make art forever, and that s awesome.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I d really love to have kids.
9
SPEAKER_01
If I got told I had a terminal illness, that would be my big, like, that s the thing in my life I didn t get to do.
9
SPEAKER_01
What a shame.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
That s on the horizon, hopefully.
9
SPEAKER_01
Do you need Claudia to have kids?
9
SPEAKER_01
Do you need me to explain anything to you guys about that?
9
SPEAKER_01
I think she just has a feeling I m sure that whenever we have kids I ll look back and be like I m so glad that you were the person kicking the ball a little further because we re young enough She s like hey, guess what big deal on my body for the year.
9
SPEAKER_01
We have a kid She has a career and a bunch of things that she s working on I think she just has a feeling of easy for you to say, of course It s not as life-altering to you, but she really wants to have kids too.
9
SPEAKER_01
We re not in disagreement of anything
9
SPEAKER_01
She s also just like, would it kill you to wait two years?
9
SPEAKER_01
I m like, no, it wouldn t at all.
9
SPEAKER_02
I m very glad we waited till we were older.
9
SPEAKER_02
How old were you when you had kids?
9
SPEAKER_02
I was 38 and Kristen was 33.
9
SPEAKER_02
I think that would be a fun way to start my 30s.
9
SPEAKER_02
I was with the gal named Bree for nine years.
9
SPEAKER_02
And our goal was when she hit 30, that was when we were going to go.
9
SPEAKER_02
And then we broke up right virtually when she hit 30.
9
SPEAKER_02
30 and then I was scrambling.
9
SPEAKER_02
I m like, Oh, did you have, did you feel panicked?
9
SPEAKER_01
Cause it seems like you always want to have kids.
9
SPEAKER_02
I always want to have kids.
9
SPEAKER_02
And also I m like, I need to know someone s quality.
9
SPEAKER_02
So I m like, Oh fuck, I m 32.
9
SPEAKER_02
I m going to have to date someone for a few years before I really know when I m dating, I got to flip this whole thing upside down, which is what I did.
9
SPEAKER_01
I definitely see a lot of my friends get out of long relationships at about 31 and start a very short relationship and get married and have a child.
9
SPEAKER_01
And I m always like, well, they want to have kids.
9
SPEAKER_01
And I also not to besmirch them.
9
SPEAKER_01
We have old parents at me when they were 40 and they had Billy when they were 42 or three.
9
SPEAKER_01
So I really want to have kids on the younger side.
9
SPEAKER_01
So they have fucking grandparents.
9
SPEAKER_01
My grandparents were dead.
9
SPEAKER_01
I love them and I want them to be a part of my kids lives.
9
SPEAKER_01
I know.
9
SPEAKER_02
I don t want my kids to have kids really early, but at the same time, if they don t, I don t know that I ll meet them.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you wanna meet them.
9
SPEAKER_00
No, there s gonna be longevity pills.
9
SPEAKER_00
We re all living up to 200.
9
SPEAKER_00
We can all relax.
9
SPEAKER_02
Everyone can take a breath.
9
SPEAKER_00
What are you smoking?
9
SPEAKER_00
For sure, and for certain, we re living to 200, so don t worry.
9
SPEAKER_01
Monica s so contrary to all information I ve seen about the ninth hottest month in a row on record.
9
SPEAKER_01
We ll be lucky if our kids live to 30.
9
SPEAKER_00
Bill says it s possible.
9
SPEAKER_01
Who s Bill?
9
SPEAKER_00
Bill, our friend Bill Gates.
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh, Bill Gates.
9
SPEAKER_00
We have a friend, Bill Gates.
9
SPEAKER_00
I will say he s an exception to that.
9
SPEAKER_00
He didn t say that we re going to live to 200.
9
SPEAKER_00
I need to be very clear about that.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you ve made it up.
9
SPEAKER_00
Well, he says there s interesting science in the longevity space, but he s not co-signing anything.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you re very promising.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I mean, you wouldn t want to live longer than any of your friends, though.
9
SPEAKER_00
I m getting them those pills.
9
SPEAKER_00
Don t worry.
9
SPEAKER_01
At the gas station.
9
SPEAKER_00
I ve got money over the gas station.
9
SPEAKER_00
I make money on this show.
9
SPEAKER_02
TikTok.
9
SPEAKER_02
Have you read Titan by chance?
9
SPEAKER_02
I haven t read Titan.
9
SPEAKER_02
I couldn t recommend it more.
9
SPEAKER_02
It s the biography of John D Rockefeller.
9
SPEAKER_02
Cool.
9
SPEAKER_02
It s my favorite biography I ve ever read.
9
SPEAKER_02
I ve read a lot of biographies.
9
SPEAKER_01
I m a biography guy.
9
SPEAKER_01
Add Titan.
9
SPEAKER_02
It s Ron Chernow s best book.
9
SPEAKER_02
What s your favorite biography?
9
SPEAKER_01
You read Acid for the Children by Flea?
9
SPEAKER_01
No.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s fucking awesome.
9
SPEAKER_01
The whole book is up until the day that Pepper starts.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s just his insane childhood and adolescence.
9
SPEAKER_01
And he s a beautiful author.
9
SPEAKER_02
I can t wait.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s great.
9
SPEAKER_02
Malcolm Gladwell did a really cool thing with them.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
9
SPEAKER_01
Well, he has that whole thing with Rick Rubin.
9
SPEAKER_01
He s your brother in podcasting, Malcolm Gladwell.
9
SPEAKER_00
We love Malcolm.
9
SPEAKER_01
I saw him at Blue Bottle recently.
9
SPEAKER_01
You did?
9
SPEAKER_01
Actually, not recently, but I saw him at Blue Bottle.
9
SPEAKER_01
I was like, he s just like us.
9
SPEAKER_01
When he s in town, he sides it a bit, which I think is cool.
9
SPEAKER_00
He does, he likes all time, shout out.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
The best restaurant.
9
SPEAKER_01
So good.
9
SPEAKER_01
So excited about that cookbook.
9
SPEAKER_00
I gotta sneak peek at the cookbook.
9
SPEAKER_01
I ve ordered it, I m so excited.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s so cool.
9
SPEAKER_00
And the chocolate cake recipe s in there.
9
SPEAKER_00
I m not sure if I m allowed to say that.
9
SPEAKER_01
We almost moved to Laughlin a couple years ago.
9
SPEAKER_02
You did, why didn t you?
9
SPEAKER_02
Then you and I could see each other.
9
SPEAKER_01
Then we d trick or treat or whatever, it d be cute.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yes, you could be on the hayride.
9
SPEAKER_01
I m a big, like, Arc Digest fucker.
9
SPEAKER_01
I love that thing.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
Me too.
9
SPEAKER_01
You d love Claudia, but again, that s another great thing.
9
SPEAKER_00
No.
9
SPEAKER_01
I think, my big takeaway from this is that you d love Claudia.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think that s right.
9
SPEAKER_00
I think you and Claudia would be really close.
9
SPEAKER_00
That is right.
9
SPEAKER_00
Let s go to all time.
9
SPEAKER_02
My bad habit is just anytime I meet someone that I like, and I like Monica.
9
SPEAKER_00
I know.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, this would be a fun hang.
9
SPEAKER_00
It is a bad habit because most of them are in relationships and it makes everyone uncomfortable.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it doesn t make everyone uncomfortable.
9
SPEAKER_01
I think it s just nice.
9
SPEAKER_01
But I also have a best friend who I do that with.
9
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_01
Where then I m like, what about him?
9
SPEAKER_01
And they re like, your best friend?
9
SPEAKER_01
I m like, yeah, he s amazing, right?
9
SPEAKER_01
I was just always selling my friend to just be housed out.
9
SPEAKER_01
I m assuming you re gonna now live in the biggest house you ve ever lived in.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
What are you gonna do with the room that you ve never had?
9
SPEAKER_01
What s the, oh my God, I get to do this.
9
SPEAKER_01
I was really excited when I got to have like a gym.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you know what s unfortunate?
9
SPEAKER_00
I do have that, I have a fantasy.
9
SPEAKER_00
There s a room that I ve been planning on having in my house my whole life.
9
SPEAKER_00
I don t have it.
9
SPEAKER_01
What s wrong with you?
9
SPEAKER_00
I know, I m just now realizing it.
9
SPEAKER_02
That s sad, what was your room?
9
SPEAKER_00
Gift wrapping room.
9
SPEAKER_02
Weirdly enough, Kristen also wanted a gift wrapping.
9
SPEAKER_00
No, I want the whole thing.
9
SPEAKER_00
I want them all on rolls and a whole area for bags and then a whole table with rulers for the cutting, special scissors.
9
SPEAKER_00
I want that.
9
SPEAKER_02
Ribbon dolls everywhere.
9
SPEAKER_00
But like sexy and hot.
9
SPEAKER_01
What?
9
SPEAKER_00
Not grandma.
9
SPEAKER_01
What do you mean sexy and hot?
9
SPEAKER_00
Just still be sexy.
9
SPEAKER_01
She only wraps presents in lingerie.
9
SPEAKER_01
I m picturing Ed Hardy wallpaper.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, exactly.
9
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, forgot to do that.
9
SPEAKER_01
I don t mean to yuck your yum.
9
SPEAKER_00
Go ahead.
9
SPEAKER_01
I d never be in that room.
9
SPEAKER_01
Not as your friend.
9
SPEAKER_01
I would never be in that room because I don t like to give gifts.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, then we re not the same.
9
SPEAKER_00
Does Claudia like to give gifts?
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
She s thoughtful.
9
SPEAKER_01
But it s not my love language.
9
SPEAKER_01
A gift to me means nothing.
9
SPEAKER_00
Even if it s so thoughtful?
9
SPEAKER_01
No.
9
SPEAKER_01
If it s some kind of super bespoke.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, it would be.
9
SPEAKER_01
I would be like, oh, that s very thoughtful.
9
SPEAKER_01
I mainly just feel self-conscious about all the time they spent.
9
SPEAKER_00
Really?
9
SPEAKER_00
It s not meaningful to me.
9
SPEAKER_00
They re a little codependent.
9
SPEAKER_00
What?
9
SPEAKER_00
How dare you?
9
SPEAKER_00
I don t want you to think it s a little codependent to feel like, oh no, you spent so much time getting naked.
9
SPEAKER_02
That s how I feel about it.
9
SPEAKER_02
It is coming from codependency on my end, but I don t know that that has to be the root of it.
9
SPEAKER_02
I just don t.
9
SPEAKER_02
You re like, I don t love shit.
9
SPEAKER_02
I want less stuff.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
9
SPEAKER_02
You don t love shit.
9
SPEAKER_02
And you re like, God, this person put so much effort into it.
9
SPEAKER_02
Now I have to put it on a thing and then I will want to throw it away next week.
9
SPEAKER_02
And I never can.
9
SPEAKER_02
It s a big obligation now.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
That s my gift giving issue is I, what would this person like?
9
SPEAKER_01
And then I m like, well, what would I like?
9
SPEAKER_01
Nothing.
9
SPEAKER_01
That s my big challenge.
9
SPEAKER_00
So what is your love language?
9
SPEAKER_01
Long, fun conversation.
9
SPEAKER_01
I want to be in a circle of people laughing as hard as I have ever laughed, and occasionally adding something that cracks everybody up.
9
SPEAKER_01
That s a great way to live.
9
SPEAKER_01
That s like my paradise.
9
SPEAKER_01
Well, you accomplished that in this last couple hours.
9
SPEAKER_01
Numerous times.
9
SPEAKER_01
Nice.
9
SPEAKER_00
What s your sign, Capricorn?
9
SPEAKER_01
How did you know?
9
SPEAKER_01
He s July 30th.
9
SPEAKER_00
I m not a Capricorn.
9
SPEAKER_00
You read Adam Brannick.
9
SPEAKER_00
I am Leo.
9
SPEAKER_00
So classically, Adam Grant.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, did you read his thing?
9
SPEAKER_00
He sent it to me, and he said, a lot of people told me to send this to you.
9
SPEAKER_02
He sent it to me, and then I said, I dare you to send this to Monica.
9
SPEAKER_01
That is the best thing to do to a... I wanna Leo.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s a mean thing, but it s the best thing to do to somebody who is curious, is go, guess, and they guess, and you go, wait a minute, that s crazy, and they re so proud, and then you go, I m not even that sad.
9
SPEAKER_00
Especially a Virgo, me.
9
SPEAKER_00
It takes a lot of pride in getting things right.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s pretty exciting.
9
SPEAKER_01
Every time I look up Leo traits, I m like, fuck, those are all me.
9
SPEAKER_01
This was in Adam s article.
9
SPEAKER_02
They ve done a study of 136,000 people and they give them the wrong sign and they all identify.
9
SPEAKER_00
One study, one study.
9
SPEAKER_00
You re the one all about metadata.
9
SPEAKER_00
I am about metadata.
9
SPEAKER_01
Isn t the other thing not to like just be contrarian but isn t the other thing that our lunar calendars are so skewed that everyone who s Leo is actually a Cancer and everyone who s a Cancer that it s changed so many times.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s like we ve been astrology gerrymandered.
9
SPEAKER_02
We ve been redistricted.
9
SPEAKER_02
I think the explanation is, so the lunar calendar is 360 days long, and the solar calendar is 365 and a quarter days.
9
SPEAKER_02
So over time, since it s been created, every five years it changes.
9
SPEAKER_02
That s significant.
9
SPEAKER_02
The other one that no one s gonna like to hear is a common one.
9
SPEAKER_02
This is one that I ve almost even given credit to, which is, well, the moon has tremendous power over the ocean.
9
SPEAKER_02
It s creating the tides.
9
SPEAKER_02
And so there was a study about this.
9
SPEAKER_02
And the amount of force that the moon exerts on your body and the water in your body
10
SPEAKER_00
is 1 7,000th of the force that a pillow on your face exerts.
10
SPEAKER_00
A pillow on my face exerts a lot of force, though.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s not nothing.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s not a feather on my skin.
10
SPEAKER_00
But 1 7,000th of that?
10
SPEAKER_00
Sure.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s probably not changing your brain chemistry.
10
SPEAKER_00
I guess I just think we re so molecular that it might just be more distributed.
10
SPEAKER_02
Okay, so you re still in the gravitational pull.
10
SPEAKER_02
What s your percentage?
10
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, we like to do this out of 10.
10
SPEAKER_02
On what, the moon?
10
SPEAKER_03
On astrology.
10
SPEAKER_02
Zero is like, it s the stupidest thing, nothing is relevant.
10
SPEAKER_02
10 is, I plan my whole life off my chart.
10
SPEAKER_00
I definitely plan none of my life on it, but I don t have much interest in someone like you, who I think is very intelligent.
10
SPEAKER_00
I m not like, you know what I mean?
10
SPEAKER_03
Now she s an idiot.
10
SPEAKER_00
Why would this thing make somebody that s smart not be smart?
10
SPEAKER_03
That s nice.
10
SPEAKER_03
I also want to say before we get into Adam Grant, before I talk about this ad nauseum, once I read the article.
10
SPEAKER_02
Oh, you haven t read it yet.
10
SPEAKER_02
No, I m taking my time.
10
SPEAKER_03
I believe in it also with a grain of salt.
10
SPEAKER_03
I find it so fun.
10
SPEAKER_03
And I think it s funny when it matches up.
10
SPEAKER_02
It s kind of your hobby.
10
SPEAKER_03
It s just a fun thing.
10
SPEAKER_03
And I have to say, I think most people who quote, believe in it, not all, there s extremes, but they also do it because it s fun.
10
SPEAKER_03
Why not?
10
SPEAKER_03
And this makes sense.
10
SPEAKER_03
And that s so funny.
10
SPEAKER_03
And you re so this.
10
SPEAKER_03
So it kind of is like, why are you spending energy?
10
SPEAKER_02
Well, his take on it is it can be harmful.
10
SPEAKER_00
I don t have a position.
10
SPEAKER_00
I m going to read it.
10
SPEAKER_00
I ve seen it be a platform for prejudice.
10
SPEAKER_03
Really?
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
10
SPEAKER_00
He s a Gemini.
10
SPEAKER_00
I ve seen like flat out dismissal of a person.
10
SPEAKER_00
You thought I was talking about real prejudice?
10
SPEAKER_00
No, I m just talking about like the idea that that s a deal breaker to somebody who s like pretty crazy.
10
SPEAKER_03
That s crazy.
10
SPEAKER_02
or that you would explain the failure of your relationship on that is a little dangerous.
10
SPEAKER_02
I think you ve got some more things to look at.
10
SPEAKER_03
I agree.
10
SPEAKER_03
That s very Capricorn of you to say.
10
SPEAKER_02
Okay, now I m in.
10
SPEAKER_02
All right, well Phineas, this has been a blast.
10
SPEAKER_02
I want to bump into you in our neighborhood.
10
SPEAKER_02
Let s do it.
10
SPEAKER_02
Monica, you ll let me know his schedule.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yes, well now we know each other.
10
SPEAKER_00
If she ever has headphones, I d jump out of a bush at her.
10
SPEAKER_00
This is an audio format.
10
SPEAKER_00
I m sort of like, I think that s Monica.
10
SPEAKER_00
I know, I know.
10
SPEAKER_00
I ve seen some pictures of her.
10
SPEAKER_00
And also, I m not at the stage of my life where I m like, she definitely knows who I am.
10
SPEAKER_00
I would just be coming to you as a fan.
10
SPEAKER_00
And if I m just being a fan, then I don t want to interrupt your walk where you re listening to music.
10
SPEAKER_03
We re friends now.
10
SPEAKER_00
She has played it cool, but Monica is a super fan of her.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s so nice.
10
SPEAKER_00
She has talked about you so much over the last six years.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh man, that s so kind.
10
SPEAKER_00
I have.
10
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
10
SPEAKER_00
I am a huge fan.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I haven t told you guys this.
10
SPEAKER_00
When Claudia and I went on our second date ever, within the first 20 minutes, I was like, oh, I listened to that podcast Armchair Expert.
10
SPEAKER_00
I remember she said, you re talking dirty to me right now about listening to Armchair Expert.
10
SPEAKER_01
Claudia!
10
SPEAKER_00
And it was like a big early facet of our relationship.
10
SPEAKER_00
We d be brushing our teeth at her apartment or my house and listening to the podcast.
10
SPEAKER_00
So it s very lovely to be here and a thing that we ve talked about for years.
10
SPEAKER_00
One of my stocking stuffers our first Christmas was like that cup.
10
SPEAKER_03
No, the left-handed mug?
10
SPEAKER_03
Did you buy the $2,000?
10
SPEAKER_00
Not the left-handed, just the mug.
10
SPEAKER_02
You had a $2,000 one?
10
SPEAKER_00
Well.
10
SPEAKER_03
We did.
10
SPEAKER_02
We had it as a joke because the mugs came wrong and we had some finite amount of them, fineus amount of them.
10
SPEAKER_02
And we said, let s put them on the website for $2,000 as a joke.
10
SPEAKER_02
And lo and behold, some people bought them.
10
SPEAKER_02
And then we were like, we cannot take $2,000 from arm cherries.
10
SPEAKER_02
So it became a thing where when someone bought them, we would call them and say, who do you want us to donate this $2,000 to?
10
SPEAKER_02
Oh, that s so cool.
10
SPEAKER_02
That in itself became a little laborious.
10
SPEAKER_02
Hopefully they re not even on the website.
10
SPEAKER_03
I don t think they re available.
10
SPEAKER_02
Phineas, this was a blast.
10
SPEAKER_02
I really, really like this.
10
SPEAKER_02
I don t understand how you re 26.
10
SPEAKER_02
Maybe I ll process that by the time we do the fact check.
10
SPEAKER_02
There s a Sim thing happening.
10
SPEAKER_02
Where are you at on Sim?
10
SPEAKER_02
I keep trying to end this and then I ask you another question.
10
SPEAKER_00
The society simulation.
10
SPEAKER_00
It feels like one of those things that if it s true, it changes nothing.
10
SPEAKER_00
Then maybe it s 100% true.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yes, you re going to proceed through life regardless.
10
SPEAKER_02
It s going to be identical.
10
SPEAKER_00
In a weird way,
10
SPEAKER_02
I think if you re as lucky as you were, as lucky as the two of us are, it s almost an act of humility, I think, because it s like, no one really deserves this level of good luck and fortune.
10
SPEAKER_00
That makes me a little suspicious.
10
SPEAKER_00
I m a big luck guy.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s much less that I m talented or that I m hardworking.
10
SPEAKER_00
I just got born lucky.
10
SPEAKER_00
And when good things happen, I m like, well, I m just lucky.
10
SPEAKER_00
Good things keep happening to me.
10
SPEAKER_00
I m a lucky guy.
10
SPEAKER_00
More so than like random luck.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, as your identity, you re lucky.
10
SPEAKER_00
Who wouldn t want that to be their identity?
10
SPEAKER_00
Which in a weird way that makes you optimistic.
10
SPEAKER_03
Also makes you humble, which is likable.
10
SPEAKER_00
And then I have like bad things happen.
10
SPEAKER_00
This is now like two years ago, and I ll keep it brief because I know we re spilling it over.
10
SPEAKER_00
Rob s gonna pee his pants.
10
SPEAKER_00
But I got in this crazy bike accident on Los Feliz Boulevard a couple years ago and broke a bunch of bones.
10
SPEAKER_00
It was so shitty, but I still was lucky I didn t get a head injury.
10
SPEAKER_00
I think if you frame it that way, you re like, obviously stupid that I got in this accident, but lucked out that I don t have permanent brain damage.
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, yeah.
10
SPEAKER_03
Let s end on brain damage.
10
SPEAKER_03
Sure.
10
SPEAKER_00
Monica, I love you.
10
SPEAKER_03
Love you.
10
SPEAKER_02
Phineas, adore you.
10
SPEAKER_02
Thank you, all time.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yes, and I hope we get to do this again.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, man.
10
SPEAKER_01
Stay tuned to hear Miss Monica correct all the facts that were wrong.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s okay though, we all make mistakes.
10
SPEAKER_03
In a total eclipse, there s a very small period of time you can look at it.
10
SPEAKER_02
Right at it, boom.
10
SPEAKER_02
Well, I guess the issue is if you look at it and your eyes dilate, because it s covered.
10
SPEAKER_03
Right.
10
SPEAKER_02
Which is letting way more of it in.
10
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_02
So six half dozen.
10
SPEAKER_02
So you look at it partial or you look at it- We re obviously talking about the eclipse.
10
SPEAKER_02
The solar eclipse of the sun.
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, total eclipse of the heart.
10
SPEAKER_02
Total eclipse of the heart, solar eclipse of the sun.
10
SPEAKER_03
Partial eclipse of the day.
10
SPEAKER_02
And what s a lunar eclipse?
10
SPEAKER_03
I know, I looked all this up like a month ago and I can t retain it.
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I cannot retain.
10
SPEAKER_03
So the eclipse was an hour ago, I guess.
10
SPEAKER_03
I missed it completely.
10
SPEAKER_03
I mean, what s annoying is I knew it.
10
SPEAKER_02
You ve been talking about it a lot leading up to it.
10
SPEAKER_03
And I bought the glasses.
10
SPEAKER_02
Well, I would be really bummed if I had bought the glasses and didn t.
10
SPEAKER_02
Because I was out there.
10
SPEAKER_02
This is what the arm chariot missed.
10
SPEAKER_02
I set up my camera to do a time lapse photo, hoping that that s how I would look at it.
10
SPEAKER_02
Because of course I want to look at it.
10
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_02
And I m so tempted.
10
SPEAKER_02
You know me, I m a rule breaker.
10
SPEAKER_03
I know.
10
SPEAKER_02
Well, I was like, I don t accept that I m not gonna be able to see it.
10
SPEAKER_02
So how can I see it without damaging my eyes?
10
SPEAKER_02
Oh, time-lapse.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_02
And I go out there and I fine-tune my camera.
10
SPEAKER_02
I ve got it leaned perfectly.
10
SPEAKER_02
I had to lay on the ground, you know, to get it.
10
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_02
And then I m trying to predict the arc of the sun, because it s supposed to be, it was supposed to start at 10.06, just come into whatever, a smidgen.
10
SPEAKER_02
Right.
10
SPEAKER_02
And then crescendo at 11.06.
10
SPEAKER_02
And then I would, I guess, dissipate for a while.
10
SPEAKER_02
Set up the camera, did time-lapse.
10
SPEAKER_02
Went upstairs, been researching for two hours.
10
SPEAKER_02
Went outside, very excited.
10
SPEAKER_02
Picked up my phone, thinking it would still be time-lapsing.
10
SPEAKER_02
It was dark.
10
SPEAKER_02
It shut off.
10
SPEAKER_03
The phone did not stand the test of time.
10
SPEAKER_02
I guess the trick is I knew it was pointed directly at the sun, which it might overheat, but I had covered most of the body of the camera, just left the lenses exposed.
10
SPEAKER_02
But whatever, this is such a long story.
10
SPEAKER_03
I didn t get it.
10
SPEAKER_02
I didn t get it.
10
SPEAKER_02
That s the bottom line.
10
SPEAKER_03
You can watch a video online.
10
SPEAKER_03
Oh, that s a good idea.
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, it s not the same as real life.
10
SPEAKER_02
Will it be ours though?
10
SPEAKER_02
No.
10
SPEAKER_02
I m sure you can find one.
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I m sure we could find one.
10
SPEAKER_02
Someone in LA did it, right?
10
SPEAKER_03
Well, you type in your address.
10
SPEAKER_03
Oh, and time lapse.
10
SPEAKER_03
Time lapse and address.
10
SPEAKER_02
And my name and my social security number.
10
SPEAKER_03
And you ll get to watch it.
10
SPEAKER_03
I have friends who went to it.
10
SPEAKER_02
So I was just doing something very funny downstairs.
10
SPEAKER_03
Well, you were listening to Screamo, it sounded like.
10
SPEAKER_02
No, that was Sinead O Connor, which maybe I guess is the original Screamo, you could argue.
10
SPEAKER_02
Very emotional, lots of screaming.
10
SPEAKER_02
I just started that up when this other thing ended, which was a list of things to do today and running out of time.
10
SPEAKER_02
So I m like, all right, I got to change my flight and my hotel reservation for a trip.
10
SPEAKER_02
And so I m just going to call American Express Travel and do it that way.
10
SPEAKER_02
But I also have to work out.
10
SPEAKER_02
And so I put my earbuds in, which I never use.
10
SPEAKER_02
Maybe the only first time I ve ever used those to chat on the phone.
10
SPEAKER_03
OK.
10
SPEAKER_02
I always put my phone right up to my ear.
10
SPEAKER_03
Sure.
10
SPEAKER_02
Traditional.
10
SPEAKER_02
Point is, I get on with a very helpful person, and I m doing squats, deadlifts.
10
SPEAKER_02
cleans and bench press.
10
SPEAKER_03
Wow, in the middle of it.
10
SPEAKER_02
All heavy, today s heavy day.
10
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
10
SPEAKER_02
While chatting and trying not to let them know I m in the middle of squatting.
10
SPEAKER_03
Oh my God.
10
SPEAKER_02
So it d be like, okay, now I m gonna look, let me just see what flights are available.
10
SPEAKER_02
And I go, okay, that s my cue.
10
SPEAKER_02
She s gonna be busy for at least 12 reps of this squats.
10
SPEAKER_03
Oh.
10
SPEAKER_03
But it s the- Then do you mute it?
10
SPEAKER_02
Like, are you trying to- No, because I ve got the earbuds in and I m at the squat rack.
10
SPEAKER_02
The phone is on the other side of the room.
10
SPEAKER_02
I see, okay.
10
SPEAKER_02
Mm-hmm, you follow me.
10
SPEAKER_03
There s probably a way, sometimes on these, you can like touch and stuff.
10
SPEAKER_02
Well, I got nervous to that.
10
SPEAKER_02
Yes, I got really paranoid that I was, because I would push them into my ears really hard before I laid down to do the bench, because I was like, what if they fall out of my ears?
10
SPEAKER_02
And then I thought, yeah, that could hang up on accident by double-clicking or something.
10
SPEAKER_03
Yep, you gotta be careful.
10
SPEAKER_02
All this to say, I did my whole workout dead quiet without any elevated breathing even, because I didn t want her to hear this.
10
SPEAKER_02
Like, yeah, I m trying to leave now on the 27th.
10
SPEAKER_02
God knows what she would have thought.
10
SPEAKER_03
And for the listener, you re a loud workouter.
10
SPEAKER_02
Well, I go hard, Monica, I think that s what.
10
SPEAKER_03
I know, it s not a bad thing, it s just, it is loud.
10
SPEAKER_02
Say more, say more.
10
SPEAKER_03
You make lots of sound.
10
SPEAKER_02
Because you re up here, you re saying, and you hear it.
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, we hear it all the time.
10
SPEAKER_02
Unsynced in Flightless Bird?
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_02
Okay, does it ever make the, it s not ever audible in a,
10
SPEAKER_03
I don t think in the final edit you can hear it, no, but I can hear it.
10
SPEAKER_02
You can hear it.
10
SPEAKER_03
And sometimes I can hear it when I m walking by.
10
SPEAKER_03
Oh, now I do imagine.
11
SPEAKER_01
And you can hear the weights dropping on the ground when you guys are recording.
11
SPEAKER_01
It gets edited out in post.
11
SPEAKER_01
There s like enough happening.
11
SPEAKER_02
We can hear everything.
11
SPEAKER_02
We can hear all your songs.
11
SPEAKER_01
Well, okay, now that makes sense.
11
SPEAKER_01
But you can hear a lot of grunts.
11
SPEAKER_01
Lots of grunts.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God, more than I guess I knew about.
11
SPEAKER_02
I don t want you to get self-conscious about it because- I don t know how I would go back now.
11
SPEAKER_02
You asked for it, you said, I want to talk about it more.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, well, I want the full picture of- It s great.
11
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_02
It s just full exertion.
11
SPEAKER_01
Would you mimic what it sounds like?
11
SPEAKER_01
I ll close my eyes.
11
SPEAKER_02
That was one.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so, okay, that was my guess.
11
SPEAKER_01
That s a clearing of- You guys are conflating some things.
11
SPEAKER_01
No, I know you- I know you hear me clearing my throat down there.
11
SPEAKER_02
I know, that I know, that s different.
11
SPEAKER_01
That s standard.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that is white noise at this point.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, see, now, the coughing and clearing my throat does not come as a surprise.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
That I expected.
11
SPEAKER_02
No, but there s actual grunts.
11
SPEAKER_02
Even just now when I was walking by to come up here, you know, screamo, and then lots of sounds coming from you, mainly clearing, though.
11
SPEAKER_01
Well, I am coming out of a pretty bad cold.
11
SPEAKER_01
Worst of my year.
11
SPEAKER_02
He always clears.
11
SPEAKER_01
I like it.
11
SPEAKER_02
I think it s fun.
11
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I just can t not do it.
11
SPEAKER_01
At night, there s a Swedish word for it.
11
SPEAKER_01
I don t know what it is, but Kristen learned it.
11
SPEAKER_01
And it s where you get your room really, really cold before you go to sleep.
11
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_01
Fun word.
11
SPEAKER_01
I don t know what it is.
11
SPEAKER_01
So we ve been in the habit of leaving the doors open in the bedroom at night So it gets really cold.
11
SPEAKER_02
Okay before bed and The doors outside to the balcony, right?
11
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_01
I am going at it sometimes before bed Yeah, and I was like
11
SPEAKER_01
The poor neighbors, they 100% hear that, because I m up on the second story with the doors wide open and it s nighttime.
11
SPEAKER_01
I bet you can hear it throughout the whole fucking neighborhood.
11
SPEAKER_02
Sure, probably.
11
SPEAKER_01
I wish I could get a lung transplant, get some normal lungs.
11
SPEAKER_02
No, it s part of who you are.
11
SPEAKER_02
It would be weird if you were quiet.
11
SPEAKER_01
I think it s the Lobo, it s my mom.
11
SPEAKER_02
I thought you said your dad did stuff like that.
11
SPEAKER_01
No, my Papa Bob, he had a whole racket going on, but he was more like,
11
SPEAKER_01
He did a lot of that with the nasal EMT stuff.
11
SPEAKER_01
My mother is more chest.
11
SPEAKER_02
Oh, right.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
And to be fair, I have both.
11
SPEAKER_01
Papa Bob and.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, you have a lot going on.
11
SPEAKER_02
It s great.
11
SPEAKER_01
Very busy.
11
SPEAKER_01
I do wonder how many calories a day I probably burn just by coughing.
11
SPEAKER_02
And that s cool.
11
SPEAKER_01
It s probably like got a little bit of a benefit I don t know about.
11
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
11
SPEAKER_02
Maybe I ll try it.
11
SPEAKER_01
Anyways, working out and talking to the lady was really kind of funny.
11
SPEAKER_02
That is funny.
11
SPEAKER_02
And new, because you do make a lot of noise, so it must have felt weird.
11
SPEAKER_01
The second I hung up with her, it was like, off to the races.
11
SPEAKER_01
That s probably what you were hearing when you heard this.
11
SPEAKER_01
You ve been holding it in.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yes, yes, yes.
11
SPEAKER_01
What an interesting experience last night in bed.
11
SPEAKER_01
I can t remember exactly what I was doing, but I felt, I didn t even fall.
11
SPEAKER_01
I leaned into some foliage and I felt a stab in the back of my arm and it hurt.
11
SPEAKER_01
And it was like the nub of a branch of something, but I didn t think too much more of it.
11
SPEAKER_01
It hurt, but I thought it was just punctured it.
11
SPEAKER_01
laying in bed last night, and I just kind of grazed my arm, and a chunk of tree, like the size of probably a pencil eraser, but jagged, just fell out of my arm.
11
SPEAKER_01
That hadn t been in there for a few days.
11
SPEAKER_02
Just like a bad, weird splinter?
11
SPEAKER_01
Yes, but like a chunk, and it did, my body expelled it, which is so comforting.
11
SPEAKER_01
But I did feel, I think there s still a little bit in there, but now I m really reassured that your body does just spit that stuff out.
11
SPEAKER_02
Are you sure it wasn t just sticking out the whole time?
11
SPEAKER_01
No, because I had rubbed my hand across it.
11
SPEAKER_01
Are you sure?
11
SPEAKER_01
Am I sure I rubbed my hand?
11
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
11
SPEAKER_01
And I just felt like, ow.
11
SPEAKER_01
But I think it was inside and they re broken off.
11
SPEAKER_01
But over the course of a couple of days, it just like pooped it out.
11
SPEAKER_01
It just plopped it out.
11
SPEAKER_01
That s so weird.
11
SPEAKER_01
That can t be.
11
SPEAKER_02
How can that be?
11
SPEAKER_02
That your body just pushes it out?
11
SPEAKER_01
That s what your body does.
11
SPEAKER_01
You know that.
11
SPEAKER_01
I m not telling you anything new.
11
SPEAKER_02
I don t know if I believe it.
11
SPEAKER_01
That your body expels things that are in it?
11
SPEAKER_02
Well, obviously poops.
11
SPEAKER_01
No, even splinters, if you don t get them out, it does push them out eventually.
11
SPEAKER_00
I have a piece of lead pencil in my fingertip from when I was like 11.
11
SPEAKER_01
I know, we all think we have that.
11
SPEAKER_00
No, I can see it.
11
SPEAKER_01
I know, I think something else happens, because I had that forever too, and that was my same story.
11
SPEAKER_01
Now, I know you can see it, but if you dig your fingernail in there, you can t feel it, can you?
11
SPEAKER_01
It s pretty deep.
11
SPEAKER_01
See, that s your explanation.
11
SPEAKER_02
No, it s probably just punctured.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s punctured.
11
SPEAKER_00
I can show you it.
11
SPEAKER_01
Many people have it, and I had it forever too.
11
SPEAKER_01
I can t remember where it went, but I had the same conclusion as you in that at some point I m like, no, I think it s just a tattoo.
11
SPEAKER_01
Like you got punctured with some ink or something.
11
SPEAKER_01
And then just like a normal tattoo, it just stays in there and that looks like... I remember getting stabbed by an accident.
11
SPEAKER_01
Tell us more.
11
SPEAKER_01
What happened?
11
SPEAKER_00
My mom.
11
SPEAKER_00
Mom and I accidentally, I went to like grab a pencil from her.
11
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
11
SPEAKER_00
And it stabbed me like pretty deep in my finger and broke off.
11
SPEAKER_01
And it broke off?
11
SPEAKER_01
And your mother didn t dig in there with a needle or anything?
11
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I pulled out what I could.
11
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if I think that the graphite s in there.
11
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I hope not.
11
SPEAKER_00
I look at it all the time.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, I know.
11
SPEAKER_01
I know exactly, like I can, if I were a great artist, I could draw what it looks like without looking at it.
11
SPEAKER_01
Because I had it, and then a lot of people I know have it.
11
SPEAKER_02
I mean, you would be sick if it really was in there, like you d be lead poisoned.
11
SPEAKER_01
No, no, there s nothing poisonous in a pencil.
11
SPEAKER_02
Pencil lead.
11
SPEAKER_01
It s not lead, it s graphite.
11
SPEAKER_01
Why do they say that?
11
SPEAKER_02
Well, no, I mean, I know that s right, but that can t be good for your body.
11
SPEAKER_02
Graphite?
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah?
11
SPEAKER_01
I think it s pretty good for your body.
11
SPEAKER_01
No, I don t know what it is for your body, but I don t think it s toxic for your body.
11
SPEAKER_02
Hmm, all right.
11
SPEAKER_01
We ll have to do more exploration.
11
SPEAKER_02
Okay, speaking of the neighborhood.
11
SPEAKER_01
Tell me.
11
SPEAKER_02
This is for Phineas.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wonderful, people have been getting impatient.
11
SPEAKER_01
Phineas Gage.
11
SPEAKER_01
And I understand why.
11
SPEAKER_02
Me too.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, the comments is littered with, what the fuck happened to Phineas?
11
SPEAKER_01
Easter egg.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, sometimes our Easter eggs, it s a while before the payoff.
11
SPEAKER_01
And this is why we wisely do not say who s gonna be on, because of course it just creates anxiety for the listener who s excited.
11
SPEAKER_02
I know, but I am gonna post an Easter egg soon of something.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh, okay.
11
SPEAKER_01
All right.
11
SPEAKER_01
You want to tell me and then cut it out?
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh, well, okay.
11
SPEAKER_01
You might as well just.
11
SPEAKER_01
That s the point.
11
SPEAKER_01
What?
11
SPEAKER_01
That s fun for people.
11
SPEAKER_02
I mean, it s fun to let people in a little bit.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_02
Especially when it s someone like that.
11
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_02
He mentioned Laird Hamilton.
11
SPEAKER_02
I don t know who that is.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you don t?
11
SPEAKER_02
No, I don t.
11
SPEAKER_02
But now I do, because I looked him up.
11
SPEAKER_02
He s a surfer.
11
SPEAKER_01
I strongly recommend Riding Giants.
11
SPEAKER_02
Oh, is that a movie?
11
SPEAKER_01
It s one of the most incredible documentaries ever.
11
SPEAKER_01
And that s where I became aware of Laird Hamilton.
11
SPEAKER_01
Cause he was never like, he didn t like compete against Kelly Slater or any of that stuff.
11
SPEAKER_01
He was just a lone wolf trying to ride the biggest waves in the world.
11
SPEAKER_01
And I believe invented the toe-in surfing where there s a jet ski
11
SPEAKER_01
that has to tow you onto the face of this 30-foot wave.
11
SPEAKER_02
Oh, wow.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and it s wild.
11
SPEAKER_01
And his personal story is really sweet and incredible.
11
SPEAKER_02
Oh, wow.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he s a neat dude.
11
SPEAKER_01
And of course, married to Gabrielle Reese.
11
SPEAKER_02
Right, I did see that on Wikipedia.
11
SPEAKER_01
What an athletic family.
11
SPEAKER_02
Okay, is E!
11
SPEAKER_02
Entertainment still an outlet?
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, E!
11
SPEAKER_02
News.
11
SPEAKER_01
E!
11
SPEAKER_01
News.
11
SPEAKER_01
E!
11
SPEAKER_01
News, E!
11
SPEAKER_01
Online.
11
SPEAKER_01
Still banging it out there.
11
SPEAKER_02
Who did the Chinatown score?
11
SPEAKER_01
William Goldman.
11
SPEAKER_02
No, do you wanna keep guessing?
11
SPEAKER_01
Do you wanna keep interrupting me?
11
SPEAKER_02
No, you re right about- Gold.
11
SPEAKER_02
You re right about gold.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, what is it?
11
SPEAKER_02
Jerry Goldsmith.
11
SPEAKER_01
Jerry Goldsmith.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_02
You think you really got it?
11
SPEAKER_01
No, although now that you say Jerry Goldsmith, I m like, yes, of course, that s what it is, Jerry Goldsmith.
11
SPEAKER_02
Oh.
11
SPEAKER_01
Tell me.
11
SPEAKER_02
I want to tell people what happened on Friday.
11
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_02
The connections was wine based.
11
SPEAKER_01
Ah, yes.
11
SPEAKER_02
And I didn t get it.
11
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
And you took it pretty, pretty hard.
11
SPEAKER_01
Really bad.
11
SPEAKER_01
Took it to heart.
11
SPEAKER_02
My identity was shattered.
11
SPEAKER_01
What were the four words?
11
SPEAKER_02
Dry, sweet, dry, not fruity, dry, sweet, full.
11
SPEAKER_00
These are all like so generic.
11
SPEAKER_02
And something else.
11
SPEAKER_02
And I got very stuck on it being personality type slash sense
12
SPEAKER_01
So I was like, because one of the words was ironic.
12
SPEAKER_01
So it was like, it s definitely dry, sweet, ironic, and something.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
12
SPEAKER_00
And fruity.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
It wasn t like wine types, and you didn t miss that.
12
SPEAKER_01
No, no, that would have been too obvious.
12
SPEAKER_01
This was just like words to describe wine, but I didn t, like, I didn t get it.
12
SPEAKER_01
I didn t get it at all.
12
SPEAKER_01
You know, I lost connections that day.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
And, and of course, two people texted me, like, did you play connections today?
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
Because they knew I would be excited by the wine thing.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
Then I had to say it over and over again.
12
SPEAKER_01
I didn t get it.
12
SPEAKER_00
Ugh, I know, it s rough.
12
SPEAKER_00
But I didn t get it today.
12
SPEAKER_01
I know, today you had a hard time.
12
SPEAKER_01
Everyone, a lot of people had a hard time.
12
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I made mistakes.
12
SPEAKER_00
But I knew, and this is like a very bad part of my personality, I blew two guesses on the first one.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
And then I was like, odds are I m probably not gonna get it.
12
SPEAKER_00
You didn t finish.
12
SPEAKER_00
So I m not gonna take any time.
12
SPEAKER_00
No, I just started going, I don t fucking care, I m gonna pick fast.
12
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so this I do think is telling of people s personalities.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
12
SPEAKER_00
Like most people would have maybe really hunkered down after they got those.
12
SPEAKER_00
And then I was like, well, it s not perfect, so that sucks.
12
SPEAKER_00
And then beyond one, I don t even care.
12
SPEAKER_00
So now I m just gonna like guess because I don t think I m spending more time on this one I m mad at.
12
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
12
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I have also a bad habit in these.
12
SPEAKER_01
What s yours?
12
SPEAKER_01
If a mistake happens, it like, you know, it does this stupid thing where it like jiggles.
12
SPEAKER_00
Fucking man.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
And when that, like something visceral happens in my body and I get very scared of that happening again.
12
SPEAKER_01
It s like that can t happen again.
12
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
12
SPEAKER_01
So I get panicked and
12
SPEAKER_01
I feel like the pressure gets so high.
12
SPEAKER_01
And so then I m trying to just sort of figure it all out without making any guesses.
12
SPEAKER_00
Because you re arrested with fear.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
12
SPEAKER_00
And my reaction is the complete opposite.
12
SPEAKER_00
I just get brazen once I ve made some mistakes.
12
SPEAKER_00
Because I m like, to me, you re only doing it for one thing, perfection.
12
SPEAKER_00
And everything shy of perfection, this doesn t matter.
12
SPEAKER_00
For me, I don t have that.
12
SPEAKER_00
I m not viewing other people that way.
12
SPEAKER_00
But for me, I m trying to get it perfect.
12
SPEAKER_00
And once I make one mistake, it s like, well, the whole point of that is now over.
12
SPEAKER_01
Well, that s interesting.
12
SPEAKER_01
I mean, obviously perfection is ideal.
12
SPEAKER_00
It s like there s first everything, it s first place or last place, what do they say?
12
SPEAKER_01
It s all or nothing.
12
SPEAKER_00
Second place is the same as last place.
12
SPEAKER_00
Something like there s some saying in racing.
12
SPEAKER_00
Silver.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s just like there s only one winner.
12
SPEAKER_01
But I disagree.
12
SPEAKER_01
Getting it all is great.
12
SPEAKER_01
But on the ones that are hard, hard, like today, in one that s objectively hard, if I get it and other people aren t getting it, I still feel like that s a win.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
Damn it, Mira.
12
SPEAKER_01
Weina.
12
SPEAKER_00
Weina.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
But God bless you.
12
SPEAKER_00
Thank you, Weina, for the service.
12
SPEAKER_00
I panicked the other day that they re not paying her enough.
12
SPEAKER_00
Have you had that thought?
12
SPEAKER_01
No, I haven t thought that at all.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
I m like, I bet they re underpaying her and she s gonna walk and where will we be without this game?
12
SPEAKER_01
No, they ll hire someone else.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, you think she s replaceable?
12
SPEAKER_01
No, I love her, but I am mad at her a lot.
12
SPEAKER_00
Of course, she s a temptress and an evil seductress and a whatever thing.
12
SPEAKER_01
I know, mean, sexy bitch.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, sexy bitch.
12
SPEAKER_00
Tsunami between the sheets.
12
SPEAKER_01
Who is she?
12
SPEAKER_01
I wonder.
12
SPEAKER_01
I don t want to know.
12
SPEAKER_01
I don t ever want to know what her face looks like.
12
SPEAKER_00
It s probably a large man somewhere.
12
SPEAKER_01
No, it s an Asian woman.
12
SPEAKER_00
Well, that s what the name suggests.
12
SPEAKER_00
Her last name is Lu.
12
SPEAKER_00
I know, but it could be like a big white guy driving a semi-truck across the country thinking of these things.
12
SPEAKER_01
It s so obviously an Asian woman.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh, wow.
12
SPEAKER_00
You are allowed to say that.
12
SPEAKER_01
Well, first of all, it s so obvious because her name reflects that.
12
SPEAKER_01
It would be like, I mean, look, you re right, anything s possible.
12
SPEAKER_01
But it would be like if someone s name was Ravi Patel.
12
SPEAKER_00
Right, and they were Slavic.
12
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, a big Polish man.
12
SPEAKER_01
We can make some assumptions.
12
SPEAKER_00
But this person may know that there are many people on any given day, their day s been ruined by him or her, and they were smart enough
12
SPEAKER_00
to throw you off the scent.
12
SPEAKER_00
So like, I m gonna pick a female Asian name.
12
SPEAKER_01
But that s really bad.
12
SPEAKER_00
And that way no one will come for like, yes.
12
SPEAKER_00
Like, cause you have to understand that s almost like a meter monitor.
12
SPEAKER_00
What are you saying?
12
SPEAKER_00
I used to say meter maid.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you re allowed to say that too, but I can t say that.
12
SPEAKER_00
But you know what I m saying?
12
SPEAKER_01
Wait, we re not allowed to say that.
12
SPEAKER_00
I can t imagine you are meaner made.
12
SPEAKER_01
What do they call it?
12
SPEAKER_00
It s all women, right?
12
SPEAKER_00
You re not going to call them male parking when maids were allowed.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, there s you wouldn t call a male.
12
SPEAKER_01
You could.
12
SPEAKER_01
You should.
12
SPEAKER_00
You call him a custodian.
12
SPEAKER_00
I m teasing, I don t know.
12
SPEAKER_00
Listen, I can t imagine you re allowed to say meter maid anymore.
12
SPEAKER_00
Parking attendant.
12
SPEAKER_00
Parking enforcer.
12
SPEAKER_00
Civil enforcement officer, parking enforcement officer.
12
SPEAKER_00
That person, as I ve already said it on here in the past, I have the most amount of compassion for the parking enforcement, because every single person they interact with is miserable to see them.
12
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I don t know what the suicide, I just, that s a job.
12
SPEAKER_00
Well, that s what they say about dentists, right?
12
SPEAKER_00
The suicide rate s really high.
12
SPEAKER_00
Part of it is the tedium of it in the confined space they work within and also that people are afraid to see them and they inadvertently inflict pain on people all day long.
12
SPEAKER_01
Right.
12
SPEAKER_00
So the meter enforcer is also in that position.
12
SPEAKER_01
Worse than a dentist, because they don t even get paid.
12
SPEAKER_00
I got to tell you what, this is a commitment out loud.
12
SPEAKER_00
It s not New Year s, but I m going to make a resolution, a second quarter resolution.
12
SPEAKER_00
I m going to start going way out of my way to be nice to the parking enforcement.
12
SPEAKER_00
Unless they re putting it to get my car.
12
SPEAKER_00
No, I won t be able to control myself.
12
SPEAKER_00
I won t be mean to them.
12
SPEAKER_00
I m not mean to them, but I can t be happy.
12
SPEAKER_00
But I think I m going to start really going like, Hey, how s it going?
12
SPEAKER_00
And kind of engage them.
12
SPEAKER_00
And I m going to try to tip one.
12
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
12
SPEAKER_00
I just decided that right now too.
12
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna try to give one $100.
12
SPEAKER_00
Sounds like bribery.
12
SPEAKER_00
But that s what they might be nervous about.
12
SPEAKER_00
But I ll say, hey, you haven t ticketed me and I m not asking for anything.
12
SPEAKER_00
I just appreciate you out here in these streets.
12
SPEAKER_01
Where are you gonna, how often do you see them?
12
SPEAKER_00
All the time.
12
SPEAKER_00
You do?
12
SPEAKER_00
Sure, Los Angeles.
12
SPEAKER_00
Girl, they re cooking around.
12
SPEAKER_01
I don t see them that much.
12
SPEAKER_01
I actually think there s been budget cuts in that arena.
12
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna go out of my way.
12
SPEAKER_01
Okay, that s nice of you.
12
SPEAKER_00
Maybe take one to lunch if they re up for it.
12
SPEAKER_01
Great, I think you should.
12
SPEAKER_00
You know what I, fuck, here s what I should do.
12
SPEAKER_00
This is what Drew Carey did during the strike, which was so nice, is he opened up a tab at Bob s Big Boy.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh.
12
SPEAKER_00
And he said, if you re a writer in the union, you can go to Bob s and show your WGA card and have lunch for free.
12
SPEAKER_01
That s awesome.
12
SPEAKER_00
It s so Drew Carey.
12
SPEAKER_00
He s such a fucking mensch, it s impossible.
12
SPEAKER_00
He s done shit like that his whole career.
12
SPEAKER_01
Oh man, I love that.
12
SPEAKER_00
Majorly good dude.
12
SPEAKER_01
Friend of the pod, early days.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, absolutely.
12
SPEAKER_00
Rode here on a moped, which was cool, in a full rain suit.
12
SPEAKER_00
But I should probably, I should open up an account at a restaurant and offer to buy parking enforcers lunch.
12
SPEAKER_01
And people who ve got tickets that day.
12
SPEAKER_00
No, I can t afford that.
12
SPEAKER_00
That would be half the city.
12
SPEAKER_01
Oh no, I m bleeding.
12
SPEAKER_00
Or if you could show your ticket and it had that day s date on it.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
That s actually kind of nice as well.
12
SPEAKER_00
TBD, we ll see how this goes.
12
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
12
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
12
SPEAKER_00
Phineas.
12
SPEAKER_01
So.
12
SPEAKER_00
I texted Phineas this weekend.
12
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you did?
12
SPEAKER_00
I did.
12
SPEAKER_01
About what?
12
SPEAKER_00
Well, just, it crosses my mind sometimes I m laying in bed and it s like, we make these really nice connections with people and it s so heightened the experience and then we exchange numbers.
12
SPEAKER_00
And I sometimes worry that they think like three weeks later, like, nah, I never did hear from them.
12
SPEAKER_00
That was kind of fake.
12
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
12
SPEAKER_00
Not that his self-esteem is probably way bigger than that.
12
SPEAKER_00
I don t need to worry about that.
12
SPEAKER_00
But I just, it occurred to me, I want him to know I think about him and I really liked meeting him and I still thinking about him.
12
SPEAKER_01
That s nice.
12
SPEAKER_00
So I just text him and said, still thinking about you.
12
SPEAKER_01
That s cool.
12
SPEAKER_00
And then he responded, said, who the fuck is this?
12
SPEAKER_00
Stop texting me.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
Who this?
12
SPEAKER_00
It s Dax Shepard.
12
SPEAKER_00
And he said, tell me something you ve been in.
12
SPEAKER_01
What would you say?
12
SPEAKER_01
What would you say to that?
12
SPEAKER_00
To Phineas?
12
SPEAKER_00
Idiocracy.
12
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no.
12
SPEAKER_01
It s like easy.
12
SPEAKER_00
It s person to person.
12
SPEAKER_01
Flippy Gomez.
12
SPEAKER_00
Flippy Gomez, I would say chips.
12
SPEAKER_00
Because that s a male Latino in Los Angeles.
12
SPEAKER_00
No, he s not, see?
12
SPEAKER_00
And that s primarily who watches Chips.
12
SPEAKER_01
He s not Latino.
12
SPEAKER_00
Gomez?
12
SPEAKER_01
I know, this is one of those whiners situations.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay, okay.
12
SPEAKER_00
So this is a young Asian female by the name of Flippy Gomez?
12
SPEAKER_00
Yep.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
12
SPEAKER_00
Well, in that case, I think Parenthood.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s probably right.
12
SPEAKER_00
Maybe Bless His Mess.
12
SPEAKER_00
Anywho.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
12
SPEAKER_01
Now, Phineas is obviously doing film scores.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
We talked a lot about that.
12
SPEAKER_01
So I looked up 50 best film scores of all time.
12
SPEAKER_01
Can I have a tissue?
12
SPEAKER_00
Tissue?
12
SPEAKER_00
I have blood.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh wow, you scratched yourself to your bleeding.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
Okay, ready?
12
SPEAKER_01
I m gonna read these.
12
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
13
SPEAKER_01
Frozen, best number 50, Christopher Beck.
13
SPEAKER_00
I missed the setup because you asked me for a tissue and I was on the move.
13
SPEAKER_01
Well, that was, okay, yes.
13
SPEAKER_01
Top 50 best film scores.
13
SPEAKER_00
Oh, best, okay.
13
SPEAKER_00
Frozen s 50.
13
SPEAKER_01
Frozen.
13
Okay.
13
SPEAKER_01
Interstellar, Hans Zimmer, ding, ding, ding, Jonah.
13
SPEAKER_00
I bet he s gonna have the most on here.
13
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that s a good guess.
13
SPEAKER_01
Zimmer.
13
SPEAKER_01
Casablanca, Max Steiner.
13
SPEAKER_00
Are you going one to 50?
13
SPEAKER_01
No, I m going 50 to one.
13
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
13
SPEAKER_01
What?
13
SPEAKER_00
Well, it s a lot.
13
SPEAKER_00
Well, stop interrupting then.
13
SPEAKER_00
Okay, sorry.
13
SPEAKER_01
James Bond theme, Monty Norman.
13
SPEAKER_01
Superman, John Williams.
13
SPEAKER_00
He s gonna be- John Williams.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yep.
13
SPEAKER_00
That s when I was, I don t know.
13
SPEAKER_01
Alien, Jerry Goldsmith.
13
SPEAKER_00
Goldsmith.
13
SPEAKER_01
44, Pride and Prejudice, Dario Marianelli.
13
SPEAKER_01
43, Inception, Hans Zimmer.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, Zim Zim.
13
SPEAKER_01
42, Avatar, James Horner.
13
SPEAKER_01
41, Captain Corelli s Mandolin, Steven Warbeck.
13
SPEAKER_01
I feel like I m doing something cool.
13
SPEAKER_00
The Academy Awards, like you re listing the nominees.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I feel like that.
13
SPEAKER_00
That s what it sounds like.
13
SPEAKER_01
This is a good time for me to practice.
13
SPEAKER_00
You re taking the right pause.
13
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
13
SPEAKER_00
Hans Zimmer, Interstellar.
13
SPEAKER_00
Gives time to show the clip, a little bit of the clip.
13
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
13
SPEAKER_01
Once upon a time in the West, Ennio Marconi.
13
SPEAKER_01
Ennio Marconi.
13
SPEAKER_01
Marconi.
13
SPEAKER_00
Marconi cherries.
13
SPEAKER_01
39, Romeo and Juliet, Craig Armstrong.
13
SPEAKER_01
This is Baz Luhrmann s Romeo and Juliet.
13
SPEAKER_01
Craig Armstrong.
13
SPEAKER_01
Jaws, John Williams.
13
SPEAKER_00
John Williams.
13
SPEAKER_01
The Big Country, Jerome Morose.
13
SPEAKER_00
So we got John Williams and John Goldfeld?
13
SPEAKER_01
No, Jerry Goldsmith.
13
SPEAKER_00
Jerry Goldsmith and John.
13
SPEAKER_01
John Williams.
13
SPEAKER_00
Well, they re not even related.
13
SPEAKER_00
Why do I think those are the same name?
13
SPEAKER_01
No, not even close.
13
SPEAKER_00
I know.
13
SPEAKER_01
Well, they both J s.
13
SPEAKER_00
That s weird.
13
SPEAKER_01
But you also have James Horner, that s 36, Titanic.
13
SPEAKER_01
35, Pirates of the Caribbean.
13
SPEAKER_00
Hans Zimmer.
13
SPEAKER_01
Hans Zimmer and Klaus Bedelt.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s his uncle.
13
SPEAKER_01
Do you say Caribbean?
13
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
13
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
13
SPEAKER_00
Unless I m going on a vacation to the Caribbean.
13
SPEAKER_00
To the Caribbean.
13
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_01
Last of the Mohicans, Trevor Jones.
13
SPEAKER_01
Battle of Britain, Ron Goodwin and William Walton.
13
SPEAKER_00
Oh my god, you really leaned into that one.
13
SPEAKER_00
You were waiting for the two different camera angles, because there was two.
13
SPEAKER_01
32, The Dam Busters, Eric Coates.
13
SPEAKER_01
31, Back to the Future, Alan Silvestri.
13
SPEAKER_01
The Godfather, Nino Rota.
13
SPEAKER_01
Apollo 13.
13
SPEAKER_00
I just want to preemptively say, Tootsie, you better be on here.
13
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
13
SPEAKER_00
All right.
13
SPEAKER_00
And Johnny Greenwood.
13
SPEAKER_00
Fur, there will be blood.
13
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that was a good one.
13
SPEAKER_01
Okay, Apollo 13, James Horner.
13
SPEAKER_01
Saving Private Ryan, John Williams.
13
SPEAKER_01
The Sound of Music, Richard Rogers.
13
SPEAKER_01
Indiana Jones, Raiders of the Lost Ark, John Williams.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I guess Williams is the king, isn t he?
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_01
One time I think I saw him at Houston s.
13
SPEAKER_01
American Beauty, Thomas Newman.
13
SPEAKER_00
♪ I love L.A.
13
SPEAKER_01
♪ Is that a song from it?
13
SPEAKER_00
That s Randy Newman and his brother.
13
SPEAKER_01
Really?
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_01
Oh, really his brother?
13
SPEAKER_00
I really think so.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think Thomas and Randy Newman are brothers.
13
SPEAKER_00
Cousins.
13
SPEAKER_00
Cousins.
13
SPEAKER_01
Cousins, okay.
13
SPEAKER_00
Kissing cousins.
13
SPEAKER_01
Born free, John Barry.
13
SPEAKER_01
Gone with the wind, Max Steiner.
13
SPEAKER_01
Dangerous moonlight, Richard
13
SPEAKER_00
Uh-oh, this is a panic on stage.
13
SPEAKER_00
This is a Travolta moment.
13
SPEAKER_00
This is an Adele disease.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
13
SPEAKER_01
That popped up on my Instagram recently.
13
SPEAKER_00
You go, Richard, and you take like a weird, ah.
13
SPEAKER_01
Richard Adensell, Lawrence of Arabia, Maurice Jarre.
13
SPEAKER_01
Pretty nice.
13
SPEAKER_00
Kind of confident about that, but also a little nervous.
13
SPEAKER_01
I feel like I m reading Taylor s commencement speech.
13
SPEAKER_00
What are you at?
13
SPEAKER_00
You re only like 10 in?
13
SPEAKER_00
No, 20.
13
SPEAKER_01
We have 20 left.
13
SPEAKER_01
Braveheart, James Horner.
13
SPEAKER_00
Wild James Horner.
13
SPEAKER_01
Blade Runner, Vangelis.
13
SPEAKER_01
Amelie, Jan Tiersen.
13
SPEAKER_01
I love Amelie.
13
SPEAKER_01
Great movie.
13
SPEAKER_01
633 Squadron, Ron Goodwin.
13
SPEAKER_01
The Magnificent Seven, Elmer Bernstein.
13
SPEAKER_01
15, E.T.
13
SPEAKER_00
the Extraterrestrial.
13
SPEAKER_00
John Goldwyn.
13
SPEAKER_01
William, William,
13
SPEAKER_01
Jerry Goldsmith.
13
SPEAKER_00
Jerry Goldsmith.
13
SPEAKER_01
But this isn t.
13
SPEAKER_00
John Williams.
13
SPEAKER_01
This is weird.
13
SPEAKER_01
It says E.T.
13
SPEAKER_01
The Extra-Terrestrial.
13
SPEAKER_01
John Williams  close relationship with Steven Spielberg and the director s own meteoric career meant that he was the composer for many major films of the period, including Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Superman, and of course E.T.
13
SPEAKER_01
Huh, weird.
13
SPEAKER_00
John Williams just gave you a lot of info on that one.
13
SPEAKER_01
But it s not labeled the same way.
13
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
13
SPEAKER_01
It messed up.
13
SPEAKER_01
That wasn t my fault, that was the prompter s fault.
13
SPEAKER_00
I have been to the Hollywood Bowl for John Williams night, where the orchestra plays all the themes, it s really cool.
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, speaking of, this is my favorite.
13
SPEAKER_00
I always thought I was at Jerry Goldsmith s performance, but it was just as pleasant, even though I was confused.
13
SPEAKER_01
Okay, this is my favorite, well, one of my top two faves.
13
SPEAKER_01
Harry Potter and the Philosopher s Stone, John Williams.
13
SPEAKER_00
What happened, your computer died?
13
SPEAKER_00
Oh my god.
13
SPEAKER_00
Are we having technical difficulties?
13
SPEAKER_00
No, this is the time where- Oh, you wanted to play it.
13
SPEAKER_00
Tim s paws are in the sorcerer s stone.
13
SPEAKER_01
It s so good.
13
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
13
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so actually there s, I have another one.
13
SPEAKER_01
Oh, oh wait, it s lost.
13
SPEAKER_00
You have to play the whole thing, I think.
13
SPEAKER_00
You gotta watch the whole movie now.
13
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God, it s everywhere.
13
SPEAKER_01
What s happening?
13
SPEAKER_00
It s magic.
13
SPEAKER_00
The list was only made longer by having to watch Harry Potter in the middle of the list.
13
SPEAKER_00
Magic.
13
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God, it s taken.
13
SPEAKER_00
Wait, what is going on?
13
SPEAKER_00
It s a virus.
13
SPEAKER_00
Sorcery.
13
SPEAKER_00
I would love it if- What if your computer elevated and started floating up throughout the room and you finally were invited into the world of magic?
13
SPEAKER_01
Okay, phew.
13
SPEAKER_00
Oh, God.
13
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
13
SPEAKER_01
Ladies in Lavender, Nigel Hess.
13
SPEAKER_01
Cinema Paradiso, Eni Maraconi.
13
SPEAKER_01
Oh, another Maraconi, yeah.
13
SPEAKER_01
Dr. Zhivago, Maurice Jarre.
13
SPEAKER_01
Jurassic Park, John Williams, that was my other, but there s one more.
13
SPEAKER_01
I have three.
13
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
13
SPEAKER_00
What, you re going to play three?
13
SPEAKER_01
No, I just love three, but I am going to play this.
13
SPEAKER_01
So good.
13
SPEAKER_01
I think this is the best one.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but we re not at the sticky part.
13
SPEAKER_01
I love this piece.
13
SPEAKER_00
This is a game on set.
13
SPEAKER_01
If someone whistles at it, there it is.
13
SPEAKER_01
Look, a dinosaur is doing it.
13
SPEAKER_00
Oh, it s conducting.
13
SPEAKER_00
That proves my point.
13
SPEAKER_01
About what?
13
SPEAKER_01
Dinosaurs?
13
SPEAKER_00
That they can do it without the conductor.
13
Oh my God.
13
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
13
SPEAKER_00
I ve been yelled at by a few people that that was my opinion from the Cooper episode.
13
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna stand by it.
13
SPEAKER_00
There s like a couple, I m willing to take the heat on a couple.
13
SPEAKER_00
Like I pissed off curlers years ago, as you may remember, the Olympic curlers.
13
SPEAKER_00
I said it was sweeping.
13
SPEAKER_00
It was like a, you know, it s an interesting.
13
SPEAKER_00
And I ve lived with that, and I can shoulder it.
13
SPEAKER_00
And so, yeah, I have a handful of conductors, because I m convinced I ve watched enough of these where they don t ever look at the conductor.
13
SPEAKER_00
That s my premise.
13
SPEAKER_00
The musicians just stare at their sheet music.
13
SPEAKER_00
I watch them.
13
SPEAKER_00
They don t ever look up at the conductor.
13
SPEAKER_01
But you never take, you can t say that when you ve never, you ve never even taken a chorus class.
13
SPEAKER_00
I ve also never curled.
13
SPEAKER_00
I ve only watched it on TV.
13
SPEAKER_01
I just think as a good artist, you shouldn t say that.
13
SPEAKER_00
I know that s why people are so mad.
13
SPEAKER_00
I get everyone s point.
13
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
13
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
13
SPEAKER_01
Nine, the good, the bad, and the ugly.
13
SPEAKER_01
Ooh.
13
SPEAKER_01
Ennio Morricone.
13
SPEAKER_01
That s a goodie.
13
SPEAKER_01
Charlotte Safire.
13
SPEAKER_01
Charlotte Safire.
13
SPEAKER_00
This is why they don t have 50 nominees.
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_00
No one could do it.
13
SPEAKER_00
People fatigue.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_01
Chariot Safire, Vangelis.
13
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s a second, Vangelis.
13
SPEAKER_01
Star Wars, John Williams.
13
SPEAKER_00
Williams is the Titan.
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_01
The Mission, Ennio Morricone.
13
SPEAKER_00
Oh, number four.
13
SPEAKER_01
I definitely saw him at Houston s.
13
SPEAKER_01
John Williams, not Ennio Morricone.
13
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
13
SPEAKER_01
Okay, now we re entering top five.
13
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
13
SPEAKER_01
Dances with Wolves, John Barry.
13
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
13
SPEAKER_01
Out of Africa, John Barry.
13
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
13
SPEAKER_01
John Barry on a roll.
13
SPEAKER_01
Gladiator, Hans Zimmer.
13
SPEAKER_00
Zimmer.
13
SPEAKER_01
The Lord of the Rings, Howard Shore.
13
SPEAKER_01
Schindler s List, John Williams, number one.
13
SPEAKER_00
Williams, he takes it.
13
SPEAKER_00
Did John Brian not make the list at all?
13
SPEAKER_00
No, I want, I m curious who assembled this list.
13
SPEAKER_01
Is this some, just some classic FM.com?
13
SPEAKER_00
Wonderful.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, in my opinion, there s a few missing things, but that s fine.
14
SPEAKER_01
What would your list be?
14
SPEAKER_01
What s your top five?
14
SPEAKER_00
Well, of course, John Bryan s got a few different that I would nominate.
14
SPEAKER_00
Eternal Sunshine, what a fucking score.
14
SPEAKER_00
Tootsie.
14
SPEAKER_01
You re being so cavalier like you are with connections.
14
SPEAKER_01
You have to pick five.
14
SPEAKER_00
Dave Gruson, yeah, we ve done enough.
14
SPEAKER_00
I m not gonna, I ll just say those two I want, I wish they were on there.
14
SPEAKER_00
And Johnny Greenwood, there will be blood.
14
SPEAKER_00
Okay, that s yours.
14
SPEAKER_00
That s yours.
14
SPEAKER_00
Do you have one that wasn t on there that you wanna see on there?
14
SPEAKER_01
Home Alone.
14
SPEAKER_00
Okay, yeah.
14
SPEAKER_01
I m serious.
14
SPEAKER_00
I believe it, it s great.
14
SPEAKER_00
It s seminal.
14
SPEAKER_01
I think it s John Williams.
14
SPEAKER_01
Probably.
14
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
14
SPEAKER_00
He s every other one.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, he did.
14
SPEAKER_00
It was him?
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
14
SPEAKER_00
Oh, wow.
14
SPEAKER_00
Dude, what a career.
14
SPEAKER_00
I know.
14
SPEAKER_00
I met Hans Zimmer in the commissary at Warner Brothers, and he actually introduced himself at the table.
14
SPEAKER_00
And I, of course, I know the whole career, he, Hans Zimmer.
14
SPEAKER_00
Whoa, what a score.
14
SPEAKER_00
I might even put that on there.
14
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
14
SPEAKER_00
I m picturing a very serious German composer.
14
SPEAKER_01
Right.
14
SPEAKER_00
Fucking playful, party.
14
SPEAKER_01
That s nice.
14
SPEAKER_00
Exuberant personality and friendly to no end.
14
SPEAKER_01
I like that.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but I kind of, of course, not my stereotype of what I was picturing.
14
SPEAKER_01
One time I saw John Williams at Houston s.
14
SPEAKER_00
Let me be clear.
14
SPEAKER_00
I know you saw him at Houston s or not, but seemingly seems like.
14
SPEAKER_00
I want to be clear.
14
SPEAKER_00
I think composers are very real job.
14
SPEAKER_00
I m talking about conducting.
14
SPEAKER_01
I know.
14
SPEAKER_00
I know.
14
SPEAKER_01
We all know.
14
SPEAKER_00
The sticks.
14
SPEAKER_00
A couple of sticks.
14
SPEAKER_00
Dune 2 scores really good that Hans did.
14
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
14
SPEAKER_01
I liked that.
14
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
14
SPEAKER_01
I liked that.
14
SPEAKER_00
Good score.
14
SPEAKER_01
I don t think I d put it in my top five, but OK.
14
SPEAKER_01
I brought up a video that I saw of Billie and Phineas singing together when they were young.
14
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I want to hear that.
14
SPEAKER_01
And I m going to play it.
14
SPEAKER_00
Oh, good.
14
SPEAKER_02
Are you?
14
Maybe.
14
SPEAKER_00
Oh, she s so young, huh?
14
SPEAKER_00
Oh, she looks like she s, what, 14 or something?
14
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I don t think this is the one I want.
14
SPEAKER_01
Wait, maybe this.
14
SPEAKER_06
I think your speakers are lower on your computer monitor.
14
SPEAKER_06
You want to hold it up a little higher.
14
SPEAKER_00
You re holding it up to the screen.
14
SPEAKER_00
And then you re turning the volume up and you don t know why it s not getting louder.
14
SPEAKER_00
What if you roll into their mouth on screen?
14
SPEAKER_00
That s how it gets louder.
14
SPEAKER_02
What s going on?
14
SPEAKER_02
Oh, my God.
14
SPEAKER_01
I wanted you to be able to see it.
14
SPEAKER_00
Also, all things could happen.
14
SPEAKER_00
You just got to hold your computer a little higher so that the no put the mic higher.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
14
SPEAKER_00
The speakers are in the computer, not the screen.
14
SPEAKER_01
Where, though?
14
SPEAKER_00
I think around coming out the keyboard area.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
14
SPEAKER_00
OK.
14
SPEAKER_00
Resume.
14
SPEAKER_00
Resume.
14
SPEAKER_00
I m starting over.
14
SPEAKER_00
I m starting over.
14
SPEAKER_02
Are you?
14
SPEAKER_02
Maybe.
14
SPEAKER_00
See how much louder it is now?
14
SPEAKER_06
I m doing it wrong every time.
14
SPEAKER_06
I know.
14
SPEAKER_06
A tornado flew around my room before you came Excuse the mess it made, it usually doesn t rain In Southern California, much like Arizona My eyes don t shed tears before the ball When I m thinking about you Ooh, no, no, no I ve been thinking about you You, no, no, no I ve been thinking about you Do you think about me still?
14
SPEAKER_05
♪ Do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya
14
you
14
SPEAKER_06
No, I don t like you, I just thought you were cool enough to kick it Got a beach house I could sell you and I need a hoe Since you think I don t love you, I just thought you were cute That s why I kissed you Got a fighter jet, I don t get to fly it Though I m lying down and thinking about you Oh, no, no, no I ve been thinking about you You, no, no, no I ve been thinking about you Do you think about me still?
14
SPEAKER_05
Do you?
14
SPEAKER_05
Do you not think so far?
14
SPEAKER_05
Cause I ve been thinking about forever Do you not think so far?
14
SPEAKER_05
Cause I ve been thinking about forever
14
SPEAKER_05
Yes, of course, I remember, how could I forget?
14
SPEAKER_05
How you feel?
14
SPEAKER_05
You know you were my first sign, a new feel.
14
SPEAKER_06
And it will never get old, my soul and heart and my spirit keeping alive.
14
SPEAKER_05
We ll go down this road till it turns from color to black and white.
14
SPEAKER_05
Do you not think so far?
14
SPEAKER_05
Cause I ve been thinking about forever Do you not think so far?
14
SPEAKER_05
Cause I ve been thinking about forever
14
SPEAKER_06
Good God.
14
SPEAKER_01
Isn t that so special?
14
SPEAKER_01
They look so like they look so little in their children.
14
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
14
SPEAKER_00
I don t know how the parents walk in and see that the two babies are creating art that s like comparable or exceeds what professionals do.
14
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I know.
14
SPEAKER_00
He of all the people I ve ever met, I think, other than maybe May Whitman, is so much older than his age.
14
SPEAKER_00
I can t compute it.
14
SPEAKER_01
I know.
14
SPEAKER_00
It s the most rattling version of that I think I ve ever experienced.
14
SPEAKER_01
You know what s tricky?
14
SPEAKER_01
I was thinking about that.
14
SPEAKER_01
The hard thing is when you are so mature, you are still an age.
14
SPEAKER_01
There is legitimately time you have not experienced on earth.
14
SPEAKER_01
And so I think it s actually like, if you fuck up or if you re not always mature or like showing, you know, I feel like people take that much worse.
14
SPEAKER_00
I know exactly what you re saying.
14
SPEAKER_00
I do it to Lincoln sometimes.
14
SPEAKER_00
Which is she s so smart and aware and misleadingly old.
14
SPEAKER_01
Right.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
14
SPEAKER_00
And every now and then I m like, oh, right.
14
SPEAKER_00
And she s 10.
14
SPEAKER_00
She s 11.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
14
SPEAKER_00
She is 11 now.
14
SPEAKER_00
But I would think it a lot when she was 10.
14
SPEAKER_00
Right.
14
SPEAKER_00
I d get reminded like, oh, yeah, she s just a little girl still.
14
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
14
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
14
SPEAKER_01
So I think it s
14
SPEAKER_01
Yes, he is so mature, but he is still a 27-year-old.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, man.
14
SPEAKER_01
Guy, yeah.
14
SPEAKER_00
Guy-man.
14
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
14
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, so cool for the parents.
14
SPEAKER_00
Also, when I watch that, and this shouldn t be my thought process, I should just enjoy it, but I do go,
14
SPEAKER_00
I have nothing to offer like that.
14
SPEAKER_00
That is so special and powerful and otherworldly.
14
SPEAKER_00
And I just am like in awe and humbled by the talent.
14
SPEAKER_01
Me too.
14
SPEAKER_01
You have your grunts.
14
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
14
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
14
SPEAKER_00
Thank you for reminding me.
14
SPEAKER_01
You re welcome.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
14
SPEAKER_00
I was feeling a little low about myself, but now that I remember, I grunt theoretically, I feel a lot better.
14
SPEAKER_00
It s unique to you.
14
SPEAKER_00
It is.
15
SPEAKER_00
Everyone knows where I m at all the time.
15
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you don t, you re not- I d be a bad assassin.
15
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that probably feels bad.
15
SPEAKER_00
It does, because I think I d be good on the sneaking up on people, but I would inevitably have to clear my throat.
15
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if you would, because you re so big.
15
SPEAKER_00
But I m ballerina-like on my tiptoes.
15
SPEAKER_00
I m cat-like.
15
SPEAKER_00
Ugh, cats.
15
SPEAKER_00
Cats got fever.
15
SPEAKER_01
They eat your head off.
15
SPEAKER_01
That s all I can think about.
15
SPEAKER_01
All right, let s see.
15
SPEAKER_01
That s it, I think.
15
SPEAKER_01
Oh, no.
15
SPEAKER_01
Support and Feed, his mom s nonprofit, or his mom s charity, is a dot org.
15
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that was confusing to me.
15
SPEAKER_00
The name of it sounded like a call to action for me.
15
SPEAKER_00
I thought you were saying Support and Feed his mother s.
15
SPEAKER_00
Oh.
15
SPEAKER_00
And I m waiting for the name of.
15
SPEAKER_01
I see.
15
SPEAKER_00
But that s, in fact, the name of it.
15
SPEAKER_01
Supportandfeed.org.
15
SPEAKER_01
Oh, we talked a little bit about Adam Grant s astrology.
15
SPEAKER_00
Takedown?
15
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
15
SPEAKER_00
You haven t read it yet?
15
SPEAKER_01
No, I did.
15
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you did?
15
SPEAKER_01
I did read it, yeah.
15
SPEAKER_01
And you don t care?
15
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I see what he means.
15
SPEAKER_01
I see what he means.
15
SPEAKER_01
His intentions, yeah.
15
SPEAKER_01
I also think it s fine if people believe in it.
15
SPEAKER_00
Oh, totally.
15
SPEAKER_00
Me too.
15
SPEAKER_00
I do admire, though, weirdly, the audacity to take on something that people like so much.
15
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s like Taylor Swift.
15
SPEAKER_00
Which also has no impact.
15
SPEAKER_00
So there is something about it that, it feels not brave, but weirdly, it is.
15
SPEAKER_01
That makes sense.
15
SPEAKER_01
I guess he must really, cause I mean, we love Adam and I know he s not trying to be provocative.
15
SPEAKER_01
Like I don t find Adam to be that necessarily.
15
SPEAKER_01
I think he thinks this is an actual problem.
15
SPEAKER_00
Potentially harmful.
15
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
15
SPEAKER_01
In which case I understand why he took the time, but it s not a problem for me.
15
SPEAKER_01
So I m gonna keep doing it.
15
SPEAKER_00
It s only enhancing your life and making it more fun.
15
SPEAKER_01
Today I read, oh, we should read yours.
15
SPEAKER_01
Oh, okay.
15
SPEAKER_01
Because the eclipse.
15
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that has a big impact.
15
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s huge, it s huge.
15
SPEAKER_00
Try this time-lapse eclipse, but phone turns off.
15
SPEAKER_00
Oh God, I ll start believing if it references my failed eclipse time-lapse.
15
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
15
SPEAKER_00
Don t make it up, I see you staring at it.
15
SPEAKER_01
I m not, I m looking for it, God.
15
SPEAKER_00
That s all you re thinking.
15
SPEAKER_01
This is about the eclipse.
15
SPEAKER_01
Our struggles give us a unique perspective and maturity, allowing us to turn personal pain into valuable insights that enrich our lives.
15
SPEAKER_01
In this eclipse season, you have an open invitation to transmute the challenges you faced within your home, family, and sense of belonging into a wisdom that equips you with newfound inner courage.
15
SPEAKER_01
If you find that your foundational sense of safety and security has been lacking, then this is when a greater sense of inner security and belonging is becoming established.
15
SPEAKER_01
Purging, resentment.
15
SPEAKER_01
This toxic emotion tends to disguise itself as a justified punishment for those who ve wronged you, but it only leads to feeling hurt and victimized over and over again.
15
SPEAKER_01
Choose forgiveness this time and see where it leads.
15
SPEAKER_01
Inviting, better boundaries.
15
SPEAKER_01
The weight of the world s sorrows is too much for any person to bear and you do not have any imperative to heal everyone.
15
SPEAKER_01
By acknowledging your ability to guide and support while also having boundaries that prevent you from feeling responsible for the happiness of those around you, you ll avoid emotional exhaustion and others will inevitably follow your lead.
15
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, of course.
15
SPEAKER_00
No wonder people believe in this stuff.
15
SPEAKER_00
Every one of those things I was able to immediately attach to something, yes, that s currently going on.
15
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I know.
15
SPEAKER_00
Astrology.
15
SPEAKER_00
I m back in.
15
SPEAKER_00
I read Adam s thing.
15
SPEAKER_00
I was out.
15
SPEAKER_00
Now you read me that one.
15
SPEAKER_00
I m back in.
15
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
15
SPEAKER_00
I m dancing around.
15
SPEAKER_01
You re all over the map.
15
SPEAKER_00
I m all over the map.
15
SPEAKER_01
All right.
15
SPEAKER_00
All righty.
15
SPEAKER_00
I love you.
15
SPEAKER_01
Love you.