0
SPEAKER_00
My name is Lee Hawkins.
0
SPEAKER_00
I ve been a journalist for over 25 years.
0
SPEAKER_00
On my new podcast, What Happened in Alabama, I get answers to some of the hardest questions about how things came to be for many black Americans and the truth that must come before any reconciliation can happen.
0
SPEAKER_00
I investigate my family history, my upbringing in Minnesota, and my father s painful nightmares about growing up in Alabama.
0
SPEAKER_00
What Happened in Alabama is a new series confronting the cycles of trauma for myself, my family, and for many Black Americans.
0
SPEAKER_00
Listen now.
0
SPEAKER_01
Hi there, Tig here.
0
SPEAKER_01
If you re a regular listener to the show, you know about our advice of yesteryear segment, where we take a question from an old newspaper column and invite our guests to weigh in on how to solve a variety of historic dilemmas.
0
SPEAKER_01
One columnist we regularly pull from is named Beatrice Fairfax, and I was curious to learn more about her.
0
SPEAKER_01
So this is a segment I m calling Fairfax Facts.
0
SPEAKER_01
Fact number one, Beatrice was actually a pseudonym for Marie Manning, a reporter for the New York Evening Journal.
0
SPEAKER_01
Beatrice, or Marie, was 20 years old in 1898 when she created the country s first modern advice column.
0
SPEAKER_01
She paved the way for well-known advice columnists like Dear Abby, Ann Landers, and Tig Notaro.
0
SPEAKER_01
Marie s idea was to start a department where readers could write in about their personal troubles and get unbiased opinions on what they should do.
0
SPEAKER_01
Shortly after the column s launch, the Evening Journal received over a thousand letters a day from readers with quote-unquote eternally familiar problems such as the deserted wife, abandoned children, or the girl who had loved well and unwisely.
0
SPEAKER_01
Her motto was, large doses of common sense and no sobbing.
0
SPEAKER_01
Dry your eyes, roll up your sleeves, and dig for a practical solution.
0
SPEAKER_01
She got so much mail that she began to dread the sight of bulging mailbags and referred to her runaway success as a quote-unquote, Frankensteinian monster.
0
SPEAKER_01
Marie Manning passed away in 1945.
0
SPEAKER_01
Her column was the first modern advice column at a time when women s contributions to journalism were often undervalued, underlooked, and underpaid.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s all my Fairfax facts for now.
0
SPEAKER_01
Hope you learned something.
0
SPEAKER_01
And remember, I m still on tour.
0
SPEAKER_01
Tickets are at TigNotaro.com.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay, now on with the show.
0
SPEAKER_01
I like your hair, by the way.
0
SPEAKER_02
This is, so this is what happens when they say video won t be used.
0
SPEAKER_02
So I just, I don t do anything in my hair.
0
SPEAKER_02
I wear, I m wearing a sweatshirt that has the name of something, a movie I m in, which I never wear in public because I m embarrassed to wear in public, but it s super comfortable and I don t like wasting it.
0
SPEAKER_02
So like, this is, this is me when I know I m not being filmed.
0
SPEAKER_02
This is a home.
0
SPEAKER_02
I m wearing pajama pants.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh my gosh.
0
SPEAKER_01
Those look like my regular pants.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then what do you think of me walking around in a sweatshirt that says One Mississippi, which was my TV show?
0
SPEAKER_02
Yes, I think it s perfect.
0
SPEAKER_02
I think we re literally doing the same thing in different rooms.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay, but I go out in public in one Mississippi sweatshirts.
0
SPEAKER_02
And have you ever, by the way, let s say the purpose of that type of swag stuff is to get people aware of the show.
0
SPEAKER_02
How do you think that wearing that sweatshirt has ever made anybody be like, oh, I want to check that out or no?
0
SPEAKER_01
I think it s the reason it got canceled.
0
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God, wearing the sweatshirt?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I was walking down the street and enough people saw the sweatshirt and called Amazon.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then I was without a show.
0
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then here we are.
0
SPEAKER_01
Sorry.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s okay.
0
SPEAKER_01
I blamed you for a while, but I ve moved on.
0
SPEAKER_01
Sorry.
0
SPEAKER_01
This is Don t Ask Tig, I m Tig Notaro, asking you to ask yourself why you keep asking me.
0
SPEAKER_01
My guest today is an actor, comedian, and writer you can see on Apple TV s The After Party and Netflix s Space Force.
0
SPEAKER_01
You also know him as John Raffio from Parks and Recreation.
0
SPEAKER_01
He returns to the big screen this year as the voice of Sonic in Sonic the Hedgehog 2.
0
SPEAKER_01
Ben Schwartz, welcome to Don t Ask Tig.
0
SPEAKER_02
It is an honor and a pleasure.
0
SPEAKER_02
I m a fan of yours and excited to chat with you.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I you, and I can t believe how long it s been since I ve seen you, but life gets going and pandemics happen and careers explode and you become Sonic the Hedgehog.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I d become Sonic the Hedgehog too.
0
SPEAKER_02
And also you had a series of life things happen.
0
SPEAKER_02
A great deal of serious life things happened within the span of like five years.
0
SPEAKER_01
In the span of four months, but yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, and I thought you were talking about my health stuff, but then yes, I got married and I had kids.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, and relationship and babies.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s been a long time.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, but you re always very kind and lovely anytime I run into you.
0
SPEAKER_02
But I feel like we never get to really talk, so this is very exciting for me.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, this is going to be really in-depth.
0
SPEAKER_02
Oh, okay.
0
SPEAKER_01
So Ben, you re known for your role as John Ralfio.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yes, that s correct.
0
SPEAKER_01
In the American comedy TV series Parks and Recreation, described as an annoying yet lovable character who thinks he is a player and a baller.
0
SPEAKER_01
Do you identify with any of those characteristics yourself?
0
SPEAKER_02
My character or me as a human?
0
SPEAKER_01
Just you as a human.
0
SPEAKER_02
No, I m very much not that.
0
SPEAKER_02
I m kind of a, in real life, I don t like, I m like, if I m at a place, it s so funny, I was gonna say if I m like at a bar, but I m like never, I don t remember the last time I was at a bar.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_02
But it s like, if I don t want the attention to be on me, I m definitely not a player by any means.
0
SPEAKER_02
I m a lanky little Jewish kid from New York.
0
SPEAKER_02
But I do love playing, and tell me if you feel the same, I love playing overconfident idiots.
0
SPEAKER_02
Like, I love the idea of someone thinking they re nailing it when they re so obviously not, but they are so certain they re crushing it.
0
SPEAKER_02
I love playing characters like that.
0
SPEAKER_01
I absolutely do.
0
SPEAKER_01
I find it to be so fun, even if a camera isn t on me.
0
SPEAKER_02
It s a great bit.
0
SPEAKER_01
I love to look foolish.
0
SPEAKER_02
Arrogant idiocy.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I just, I really love to look foolish.
0
SPEAKER_01
One of my favorite things to do is to be up in Runyon Canyon and point, when the Hollywood sign is behind me, point over an edge and tell somebody that I m with so that a stranger overhears me.
0
SPEAKER_01
I ll be like, yeah, yeah, the Hollywood sign is just right under here, right in this area, right below where we re standing.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I don t know if it s exactly the right character you re talking about.
0
SPEAKER_02
It s exactly correct, it s perfect.
0
SPEAKER_01
But knowing that strangers are walking by going, it s right behind you.
0
SPEAKER_01
This one guy tapped me and he goes, the Hollywood sign is right here.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I turned around and I was like, oh, thank you.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, so apparently it s right over here.
0
SPEAKER_02
You bring up John Ralphie, and I feel like at the beginning of my career, I had to do a lot of roles very similar to that.
0
SPEAKER_02
Do you feel like you play a certain Tig character oftentimes when you re doing stuff, or do you feel like, I ve seen you do both, but do you feel like there was a place for you like that in each time and you had to break out of it, or not really?
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t know what I do, honestly.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m so preoccupied with trying to learn my lines that I don t think too much about what I m doing outside of that.
0
SPEAKER_01
when I m in an acting situation.
0
SPEAKER_02
Right, and you call them acting situations.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, I think it s because I just really identify with being a stand-up.
0
SPEAKER_01
And in my head, I m just like a recurring character on a sitcom.
0
SPEAKER_02
Even when you were on your own show?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I think it s just the way I perceive myself, that it s not really something I do.
0
SPEAKER_02
Oh, interesting.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but stand-up is my thing.
0
SPEAKER_02
That s how you identify yourself.
0
SPEAKER_01
One million percent.
0
SPEAKER_01
I remember I was being interviewed on something on TV and underneath me, it said actor.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I was like,
0
SPEAKER_01
That s hilarious.
0
SPEAKER_01
You know?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t really think too much about it.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_02
I feel like I very much, especially at the beginning, identified myself as an improviser and a comedian.
0
SPEAKER_02
And then probably now actor and comedian or someone.
0
SPEAKER_02
How pretentious is this?
0
SPEAKER_01
Sorry.
0
SPEAKER_01
You re soaring in all areas, which is very exciting.
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, your improv and your acting career, all of it is just like, I mean, you got to be pretty happy with how things are going, right?
0
SPEAKER_02
Things are very unique right now.
0
SPEAKER_02
I m also like, I m 40 and I ve been doing it for a bit now.
0
SPEAKER_02
So I realized that right now I have like two shows on and a movie.
0
SPEAKER_02
And I know that s never, you know, next year, let s see if I have, you know what I mean?
0
SPEAKER_02
When I was younger and something like this would happen, I wouldn t enjoy it.
0
SPEAKER_02
I would just be looking like, I got to get my next thing.
0
SPEAKER_02
I got to get my next thing.
0
SPEAKER_02
Who cares?
0
SPEAKER_02
And now even just to have a movie that comes out in movie theaters.
0
SPEAKER_02
It doesn t happen anymore.
0
SPEAKER_02
Everything I do now like it s like a streamer or something like that.
0
SPEAKER_02
So the fact that Sonic I get to go to a movie theater and watch it and people will be there like that.
0
SPEAKER_02
I love that.
0
SPEAKER_02
So I m getting a little bit better.
0
SPEAKER_02
But this is a very, it is kind of crazy that all these things are happening right now at the same time.
0
SPEAKER_02
I wish I could have spread them out a little bit more.
0
SPEAKER_02
But it s like two months everything s happening at the same time.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s one of those like,
0
SPEAKER_01
hard-to-feel-sorry-for-you problems kind of thing.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yes, yes.
0
SPEAKER_02
I don t need your sorrow.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, you don t have it.
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t think you have anyone, to be honest.
0
SPEAKER_01
Of course.
0
SPEAKER_02
No, I can t imagine.
0
SPEAKER_02
No, no, no.
0
SPEAKER_01
It d be an odd thing if everybody was at home listening to this, really having a deep boo-hoo for you.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Now, Ben, your mother, correct me if I m wrong,
0
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I already love where this is going.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Worked as a music teacher and your father was at one point a social worker.
0
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God.
0
SPEAKER_02
You know what s so funny?
0
SPEAKER_01
What?
0
SPEAKER_02
I can t wait to find this because I have so many times said the wrong thing about what my dad does because I use like a short way of saying it.
0
SPEAKER_02
That one time he emailed me.
0
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God, if I could find this, this would be so incredible.
0
SPEAKER_02
I don t even know where I d find it.
0
SPEAKER_02
He emailed me.
0
SPEAKER_02
He listened to it once, and he s like, yeah, you re really close.
0
SPEAKER_02
It s just like, it s a little bit more than that.
0
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I wish I could find this email.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, take your time.
0
SPEAKER_01
This is a good podcast.
0
SPEAKER_02
Oh my goodness, this is a fantastic take.
0
SPEAKER_02
Okay, so this is what I usually say and tell me how close I get.
0
SPEAKER_02
Usually I say he was a social worker and then a director at the YMHA, which is the Jewish version of the YMCA over in the Bronx in Riverdale.
0
SPEAKER_02
And then he transitioned into real estate.
0
SPEAKER_02
This is what my dad wrote in an email.
0
SPEAKER_02
I can t believe I found that.
0
SPEAKER_02
I can t believe I get to use this.
0
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_02
My father was the director of a range of social service and mental health agencies for 20 years, then spent the last 30 years in the commercial real estate industry.
0
SPEAKER_02
That s from my father, Michael Phillips Schwartz.
0
SPEAKER_02
He sent me an email so I didn t keep screwing it up.
0
SPEAKER_01
So we have it.
0
SPEAKER_02
We have it.
0
SPEAKER_01
And what was it that you said he did?
0
SPEAKER_02
What I say is that he was a social worker and worked at the YMHA for a while.
0
SPEAKER_02
I think it s pretty close.
0
SPEAKER_02
It s so funny, like when you re a kid, my mom s job is so easy.
0
SPEAKER_02
She s a music teacher in the Bronx for 50 years.
0
SPEAKER_02
I was a student of hers when I was a kid.
0
SPEAKER_02
So it s so easy.
0
SPEAKER_02
And then my dad was a social worker and then he was in real estate.
0
SPEAKER_02
So when you re a kid, it doesn t matter.
0
SPEAKER_02
But I guess when you do a bunch of interviews and like, what does your dad do?
0
SPEAKER_02
He s like, you know what?
0
SPEAKER_02
Just like, if you could tweak it.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, it s like when you get an old bio that s circling around.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s exactly right.
0
SPEAKER_01
And nobody has updated it, and you re like, no, I ve done something since Premium Blend on Comedy Central.
0
SPEAKER_01
It sounds like a kind household.
0
SPEAKER_02
It was a very kind house.
0
SPEAKER_02
Also the mental health stuff is very, like the idea that my dad worked towards helping mental health and my sister ended up being a therapist.
0
SPEAKER_02
And so it s like, it is a very kind household.
0
SPEAKER_02
And like my dad helped establish the Meals on Wheels thing in the Bronx.
0
SPEAKER_02
It was a very Jewish forward, like not Jewish, we weren t religious, but the idea of giving and helping others was always prevalent.
0
SPEAKER_02
I got very lucky where my family is really big into like showing how much we care for each other.
0
SPEAKER_02
And then also,
0
SPEAKER_02
We like traditions and stuff like that, so we re all about that stuff.
0
SPEAKER_02
But not incredibly religious, but very proud that we re Jewish, if that makes sense.
0
SPEAKER_01
That makes complete sense.
0
SPEAKER_02
We did all the holy days for fun, but I didn t go to synagogue all the time and stuff like that.
0
SPEAKER_02
Are you religious at all or no?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I was raised Catholic, but it wasn t heavy handed, and I actually don t even remember anyone talking about God or anything in my house.
0
SPEAKER_01
And my sons actually, one of them just asked recently,
0
SPEAKER_01
what God is.
0
SPEAKER_01
And it was solely because somebody said, oh, God.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then my son Max was like, what is God?
0
SPEAKER_01
And then it brought up a conversation and Stephanie started talking about how love is everywhere and in everyone, and God is everywhere and in every, you know, just that whole thing.
0
SPEAKER_01
And
0
SPEAKER_01
And I was just listening, going, yes.
0
SPEAKER_01
So that s my religion.
0
SPEAKER_01
Great.
0
SPEAKER_01
Now, earlier in this episode, I mentioned you re playing Sonic the Hedgehog 2.
0
SPEAKER_02
I am.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m curious, what is your process behind creating the voice of a speedy hedgehog?
0
SPEAKER_02
I read, by the way, it s very similar to your process of getting ready for an acting role.
0
SPEAKER_02
I read the lines and the way, when I read the script, the way that I read him was he was like an excited kid to me.
0
SPEAKER_02
I was like, oh, he s an excited kid that doesn t really have friends, but so desperately wants one.
0
SPEAKER_02
He finds somebody to like talk to and like, you know, garner a friendship with James Marsden, the most beautiful man in the universe.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I ve worked with him.
0
SPEAKER_02
Great guy, wonderful guy.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then- Yes, yes.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, so that s kind of how I did it.
0
SPEAKER_02
I saw him like a little kid, a really excited kid.
0
SPEAKER_02
And I thought if I could, if I made him funny, and I made him feel like he had a lot of heart, and I feel like the kids would enjoy him more, and then maybe the movie would play a little better.
0
SPEAKER_02
And it did, I get to be in a sequel, as you call it, Sonic 2.
0
SPEAKER_02
How do I voice Sonic 2?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, how do you, huh?
0
SPEAKER_02
Just like that.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_02
Exactly like that, you know what I mean?
0
SPEAKER_01
You re not gonna do a switcheroonie and be like, what?
0
SPEAKER_02
Oh yeah, my Sonic 2, I sound like Bobcat Goldthwait from Police Academy.
0
SPEAKER_02
It s a totally different take on it.
0
SPEAKER_02
It s really good.
0
SPEAKER_02
It goes from that to Andy Kaufman in Taxi and back and forth.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh my goodness.
0
SPEAKER_01
That would be interesting.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
I wouldn t toss that idea out.
0
SPEAKER_01
OK.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I mean, that s basically what you do.
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, like we talked earlier, you do improv.
0
SPEAKER_01
You came up in the United—oh my god.
0
SPEAKER_01
You came up in the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater.
0
SPEAKER_02
You ve performed there thousands of times.
0
SPEAKER_01
Listen, I don t know what s going on in your world, but I ve been in a pandemic, okay?
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I m living fancy free.
0
SPEAKER_02
I ve been going crazy for months now.
0
SPEAKER_01
I see you with your two old-fashioned typewriters behind you.
0
SPEAKER_01
You look like you ve been going nuts.
0
SPEAKER_02
So there s two typewriters behind me right now, Tig.
0
SPEAKER_02
One is a Royal, and it s this beautiful grayish blue color, although I am a little bit colorblind, so I m not really good with blues and blacks and stuff like that, for real, but I believe that s what it is.
0
SPEAKER_02
And then to my left is an Underwood, and it s black and it s gorgeous.
0
SPEAKER_02
And I wish I remembered the years, but they re like my little babies.
0
SPEAKER_02
I love them.
0
SPEAKER_01
And are you starting a collection?
0
SPEAKER_02
I have three and I don t need any more.
0
SPEAKER_02
So what I do is I write letters, but I write them as like other people, like almost like bits.
0
SPEAKER_02
I ve written a lot of letters as people when they were kids and they were writing letters to their future selves and they re writing them to themselves.
0
SPEAKER_02
So like, if it was you, it d be like you as a child writing a letter from your typewriter when you were a kid to yourself.
0
SPEAKER_02
I usually use them at least once a week, which is really fun.
0
SPEAKER_02
Do you have a thing?
0
SPEAKER_02
Do you collect something?
0
SPEAKER_01
Maybe coats?
0
SPEAKER_02
Coats, like winter coats or like cool coats?
0
SPEAKER_01
Whatever.
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, maybe nobody else thinks they re cool.
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t even know if I collect, I don t collect coats.
0
SPEAKER_01
I have coats.
0
SPEAKER_02
I don t know what I m doing.
0
SPEAKER_02
I have a coat.
0
SPEAKER_02
I have a coat that I wear when it s cold outside.
0
SPEAKER_02
Is that collecting?
0
SPEAKER_02
I wear a coat when it s cold and I wear sneakers.
0
SPEAKER_02
Are sneakers a thing?
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I like, I don t even collect vinyl, but I have some vinyl.
0
SPEAKER_02
Oh, can I ask a life thing?
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_02
I feel like you and I are probably very busy people and I just had a lot of work and I finally had like a day off.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_02
And I almost didn t know what to do with it.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_02
I got worried as an adult.
0
SPEAKER_02
Like, what do I do for fun?
0
SPEAKER_02
Like me doing a show at Largo is fun, but that s kind of considered our job.
0
SPEAKER_02
So it s like, do you know what I m talking about?
0
SPEAKER_02
That like I had this weird
0
SPEAKER_01
I do.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I had a moment like that recently.
0
SPEAKER_01
And it was kind of during a time where I already don t follow pop culture.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I recently cut the new I used to read the news like crazy.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I cut that out of my life.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I just listened to a five minute update about the news on a podcast.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then I just try and move on with my life because I can t do anything about every bit of news that comes in.
0
SPEAKER_02
It s too much.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s too much.
0
SPEAKER_01
So what I did was I came to our office and I put some vinyl on and I just started listening to records and I was just staring out the window and it was such a nice moment.
0
SPEAKER_02
Oh, nice.
0
SPEAKER_01
I was just like, oh, gosh, why am I not doing this all the time?
0
SPEAKER_01
Why am I not?
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I guess I have a career and a spouse and children and three cats and a podcast.
0
SPEAKER_01
And a bunch of coats.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and a bunch of coats.
0
SPEAKER_01
And so I can t just be lying around staring out the window.
0
SPEAKER_01
But man, was it a nice day.
0
SPEAKER_02
I get bad at relaxing, if that makes sense.
0
SPEAKER_02
And I hate how much I m on my phone.
0
SPEAKER_02
Especially when I m on location, I find that I m on my phone all the time and I hate it.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I get on my phone more than I do when I m home.
0
SPEAKER_01
Absolutely.
0
SPEAKER_01
I ll post more for sure.
0
SPEAKER_01
And it s hilarious when people in the industry that we work in will say things like, sorry, I ve been busy filming.
0
SPEAKER_01
And it s like, we know that that s a lot of downtime.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s a lot of...
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, you re busy, but there s certainly time.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_02
You can text back.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you sure can.
0
SPEAKER_02
Right.
0
SPEAKER_01
But Ben, I have
1
SPEAKER_00
We have listeners out there that need our advice.
1
SPEAKER_00
We haven t even gotten into that.
1
SPEAKER_05
I can t wait.
1
SPEAKER_05
Let s get into it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Our first question was sent in by a concerned pet sitter.
1
SPEAKER_00
Doug writes, I trade off watching pets with a neighbor when either one of us is away.
1
SPEAKER_00
Her instructions to feed her overweight cat include three small cans of cat food two times per day, clearly a contributing factor in the reason the cat is so overweight.
1
SPEAKER_00
At times I followed the instructions, but at other times I fed the cat less and used the sink disposal to dump excess food so I could leave the three times two per day worth of empty cans.
1
SPEAKER_00
Conflicted.
1
SPEAKER_00
Not sure I m doing the right thing.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, the thing that jumps out to me right away is I don t like to waste.
1
SPEAKER_00
It bothers me to be wasteful.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so my immediate reaction is don t dump it down the sink.
1
SPEAKER_05
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
And this is coming from a vegan person.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m sitting here going, don t dump meat down the sink, but cats do eat meat.
1
SPEAKER_00
Put it in a container and take it and give it to like feral kitties walking around.
1
SPEAKER_00
That would be my initial response.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then do you have animals, Ben?
1
SPEAKER_05
I have a dog, but I don t, by the way, I don t know anything about cats.
1
SPEAKER_05
How many of those circular things do you feed them a day?
1
SPEAKER_00
We don t actually give them, I call it canned wet meat.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think it s so funny when the cats are so excited to eat that and I m like, you want your canned wet meat?
1
SPEAKER_00
You want your canned wet meat?
1
SPEAKER_00
We used to feed our cat Fluff canned wet meat and then we just moved away from that and they just have the dry little nibbles.
1
SPEAKER_00
Everybody seems happy at the house.
1
SPEAKER_00
They re happy with their little nibbles.
1
SPEAKER_00
But I have to say, I don t think that Doug would be happy with Fluff s weight.
1
SPEAKER_00
Fluff has definitely put on some COVID LBs.
1
SPEAKER_05
Oh, wow.
1
SPEAKER_05
Fluff is feeling it?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and we didn t know until old pictures popped up, you know, when your phone reminds you, like, remember this?
1
SPEAKER_00
And we re like, wow.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I highly doubt Fluff used her little kitty paws to open anything after hours.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t know why she s gaining weight, but she is.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I don t know, I feel like people are sensitive about weight and probably not just about themselves, you know?
1
SPEAKER_00
They d probably be sensitive if you said your cat
1
SPEAKER_05
Looks unhealthy or is heavy don t you think i think you re saying that the owner would be upset if someone said that your cat look bad.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well looked heavy or overweight because that s what doug s worried about and it feels like you know are you going to directly bring this up.
1
SPEAKER_05
I agree.
1
SPEAKER_05
I also think that I would wonder if I saw like a really overweight dog and saw the exact line from how this dog is getting overweight and I could help.
1
SPEAKER_05
I would probably call the person first and be like, hey, you know that s too much, right?
1
SPEAKER_05
Like that s way too much.
1
SPEAKER_05
Three thingies seems like that s bananas to me.
1
SPEAKER_00
So you would be direct with your friend?
1
SPEAKER_05
I would be like, I looked it up online.
1
SPEAKER_05
It says that a cat this size should eat like one of these for breakfast and one of these for dinner.
1
SPEAKER_05
Don t you think like that s kind of what should be happening here?
1
SPEAKER_05
And also I would save it and say that I recycled all, I would recycle all the cans so you couldn t see how many I used.
1
SPEAKER_05
And I would save it as opposed to wasting it.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know, I think sometimes people show their love with their animals by sometimes overfeeding them.
1
SPEAKER_05
It s true.
1
SPEAKER_05
Because what is it if that cat is happier just being a big cat?
1
SPEAKER_05
Maybe that s the best life for that cat.
1
SPEAKER_05
What do we know?
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
I just know our vet has told us that there could be heart issues.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s what keeps me concerned about my own cat is I don t want to lose my cat.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t want her to be in any sort of pain or distress.
1
SPEAKER_05
Okay, Tig, I m gonna give you a situation.
1
SPEAKER_05
Tell me how you would honestly do it, okay?
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_05
So let s say I told you you re feeding Fluff the right amount right now and she s enjoying it.
1
SPEAKER_05
She s having a pretty good life, right?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_05
She s gonna live to 17 years old, which is very old.
1
SPEAKER_05
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_05
Okay?
1
SPEAKER_05
Or, Tig, I could tell you if you feed this cat three times the amount, the cat will be so happy
1
SPEAKER_05
for 13 years.
1
SPEAKER_05
So happy and so, like, loves how fat and wonderful, like the nutrients and like, they love eating so much that if you give them that experience, if Fluff has that experience, Fluff will be so happy for 13 years.
1
SPEAKER_05
Or you could do what you re doing and you can get 17 years of, okay, now it s like fuel.
1
SPEAKER_05
It s like fuel for them.
1
SPEAKER_05
It s not an experience of joy when they eat.
1
SPEAKER_05
What would you do, Tig?
1
SPEAKER_05
Don t be selfish now.
1
SPEAKER_05
Don t think about yourself.
1
SPEAKER_05
Think about Fluff.
1
SPEAKER_00
I ll do half the amount of canned wet meat and she can live a few years longer.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m just, I don t want her to have a kitty stroke and be dragging her half of her body around for the last few years.
1
SPEAKER_00
What would you do?
1
SPEAKER_05
Can t answer it.
1
SPEAKER_00
I will not answer that question.
1
SPEAKER_00
How can you say no as an improv person?
1
SPEAKER_05
I m not going to play God, Tig.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh my gosh.
1
SPEAKER_00
Doug, I would say expect maybe some defensiveness from your neighbor, but I think it s okay to have the conversation that you re concerned about the health of the cat, but maybe bring up what Ben was saying.
1
SPEAKER_00
Or maybe that s not an issue for you.
1
SPEAKER_00
You just want your cat to be happy for 13 years and go out with a bang, you know?
1
SPEAKER_05
I think you should say something.
1
SPEAKER_05
You have one shot to do it and then the person will shut you down or not.
1
SPEAKER_05
And then you can feel it out from there.
1
SPEAKER_05
But I would definitely say like, God, your cat s, I mean, you d have to find a beautiful way of saying it, but like your cat s too big for what your cat should be.
1
SPEAKER_05
Are you sure we should be feeding it six things a day?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s a lot.
1
SPEAKER_05
It s crazy.
1
SPEAKER_00
All right, Doug, that s what Ben and I think.
1
SPEAKER_00
Ben, it s time for a break, and then we ll be back with more questions.
1
SPEAKER_05
Can t wait.
1
SPEAKER_02
I m Christina Cotarucci, and this season on Slow Burn,
1
SPEAKER_03
It s called Proposition 6.
1
SPEAKER_03
The Briggs Initiative.
1
SPEAKER_05
John Briggs is going to fire every gay and lesbian school teacher in California.
1
SPEAKER_02
With so much at stake, young people became activists.
1
SPEAKER_02
We can t let this happen in California.
1
SPEAKER_02
And activists became leaders.
1
SPEAKER_03
My name is Harvey Milk and I m here to include you.
1
SPEAKER_02
Slow Burn, Season 9.
1
SPEAKER_02
Gays Against Briggs.
1
SPEAKER_02
Out now, wherever you listen.
1
SPEAKER_00
And we re back.
1
SPEAKER_00
Ben, this one comes to us from a listener in Nashville.
1
SPEAKER_00
Jess writes, I need help.
1
SPEAKER_00
My parents are extremely tidy people and their indoor trash cans are always empty.
1
SPEAKER_00
So when I m visiting their house and may need to throw something in the trash, especially in the restroom, I get self-conscious and realize my parents will see what I ve thrown away glaring in their trash bin.
1
SPEAKER_00
I ve even gone to the extreme of putting my trash in my pocket to throw away later so I don t have to throw it away at their house.
1
SPEAKER_05
Oh no!
1
SPEAKER_00
I can t live this way much longer.
1
SPEAKER_00
What would you do?
1
SPEAKER_00
I feel like there s two roads you can take.
1
SPEAKER_00
Maybe Jess is talking about monthly stuff that happens with women.
1
SPEAKER_05
I know.
1
SPEAKER_05
I m aware.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what Jess s gender is.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it s what happens.
1
SPEAKER_00
It happens.
1
SPEAKER_00
You have to throw things in the trash.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, are your parents, are they trashless folk?
1
SPEAKER_00
It s impossible.
1
SPEAKER_00
If you re alive, you create trash.
1
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, I feel like all of a sudden the situation as it stands is almost like a beautiful little frame for whatever trash he has.
1
SPEAKER_05
It s putting it on display even more, because it s the only thing.
1
SPEAKER_05
But also, they re your parents.
1
SPEAKER_05
Who cares?
1
SPEAKER_05
I guess the only thing is, if it is something like that, where you re a little embarrassed, wrap it up in something else or throw something around it.
1
SPEAKER_05
But your parents have seen you your whole life, probably.
1
SPEAKER_05
So I can t imagine something you throw out will be
1
SPEAKER_05
will shock them.
1
SPEAKER_05
But I do get the idea of like, if I m at someone else s house, and this happened, I would be probably a little bit more self conscious.
1
SPEAKER_05
And I was like, Oh, man, everything I throw out.
1
SPEAKER_05
But there s very few things that I throw out that seem like naughty.
1
SPEAKER_05
I can t even think of something.
1
SPEAKER_05
You know what I mean?
1
SPEAKER_00
Like, Oh, no, I don t want someone to look at my Well, like if you went home to your parents house, and there was an empty trash can, would you just throw a condom in the trash?
1
SPEAKER_05
Oh, see, this is a great question.
1
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
1
SPEAKER_05
It s almost as good as my 12 years to 17 question.
1
SPEAKER_05
No, you re right.
1
SPEAKER_05
You know what I would do probably?
1
SPEAKER_05
I would wrap it up in toilet paper.
1
SPEAKER_00
As big as a pillow.
1
SPEAKER_00
So you never know what s in there.
1
SPEAKER_05
It s like a little thing.
1
SPEAKER_05
If you want to do the unwrapping, you deserve to find out.
1
SPEAKER_05
Okay, so I m trying to think of a real situation, like I just went to my parents  house.
1
SPEAKER_05
I opened up a new bar of soap, so I had a soap box.
1
SPEAKER_05
I d probably, you know, like little tiny cardboard.
1
SPEAKER_05
I d probably tuck it in there and then throw that out.
1
SPEAKER_05
I would give something around it.
1
SPEAKER_05
But you picked the perfect
1
SPEAKER_05
thing.
1
SPEAKER_05
I was like, I wonder what, yeah, I would probably do that because you don t need them seeing that.
1
SPEAKER_05
You also don t need them touching that.
1
SPEAKER_05
So I would put a barrier around it.
1
SPEAKER_05
I don t know how many other things you can name that I d be embarrassed about throwing out.
1
SPEAKER_00
Even if you re at your parents  house, or even if it s an empty trash can or full trash can, it seems like you should still just wrap those kind of things up.
1
SPEAKER_04
Absolutely.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m just picturing her parents watching neighbors roll their trash bins to the curb and just like thinking, ugh, these, you know, beasts that are creating trash.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know, your parents create trash.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s what humans do.
1
SPEAKER_05
Absolutely.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and I would just say you have to just get comfortable with yourself and your trash and just toss it in there, but roll some stuff up like a pillow, or if you really can t deal with it, eat it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Eat it?
1
SPEAKER_05
Yes, if you can t deal with it, you don t want anybody to see it, just eat whatever you want to throw out.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s right.
1
SPEAKER_00
Or you could just go places with a little plastic sack and throw your trash in there and then empty it when you leave.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s true.
1
SPEAKER_00
But then you re keeping this dishonest robotic world.
1
SPEAKER_00
I say you just get bold about it and, you know what, Jess?
1
SPEAKER_00
Toss a condom in the trash and head out of town.
1
SPEAKER_05
That s smart.
1
SPEAKER_05
A loose condom?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_05
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
A loose one.
1
SPEAKER_05
And then just head out.
1
SPEAKER_05
Give them time to just, like, understand what s happening.
1
SPEAKER_05
Know that that s you throwing the mic down.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_05
You wrap it up, you re going to be fine.
1
SPEAKER_00
Even if you didn t have any visitors in town with you, and you were just there in town alone, just toss a loose condom in their trash and just peel out.
1
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, that s smart.
1
SPEAKER_05
They ll hear the...
1
SPEAKER_05
And then they ll be like, where d she go?
1
SPEAKER_05
And they ll see the condom and it ll all make sense.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, everything will fall in place.
1
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, that s right.
1
SPEAKER_00
Jess, I think it s time to let go of your fears, as well as the trash crammed in your pockets.
1
SPEAKER_00
Best of luck to you.
1
SPEAKER_00
Ben, this next question is from a listener with a cultural dilemma.
1
SPEAKER_05
Oh, OK.
1
SPEAKER_00
Metsis writes, how do you socialize like an American?
1
SPEAKER_00
How the hell does one talk to a stranger with such ease as if they re family?
1
SPEAKER_00
Me being from Finland and awkward in social situations, your kind help would definitely help me to integrate into American society.
1
SPEAKER_00
How do you do it?
1
SPEAKER_05
Metis, first of all, I think there s a wide range of humans in America that are not able to do that as well.
1
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, like can t just go up and talk.
1
SPEAKER_00
Good point.
1
SPEAKER_05
Don t feel like you re being alienated culturally.
1
SPEAKER_05
It takes some warming up to also, by the way, I remember also like
1
SPEAKER_05
at the beginning, like trying to date people like that s the most terrifying thing in the universe to go up for me to go up to a woman when I was younger and say anything is, I mean, there s nothing.
1
SPEAKER_05
If someone comes up to me and says something, I can hold down a conversation and it s going to be fun.
1
SPEAKER_05
Like, I mean, like I ll have fun with it rather.
1
SPEAKER_05
But when I was a kid, man, thinking of going up to a woman that I thought was wonderful and trying to say something would make me just sweat.
1
SPEAKER_05
Absolutely.
1
SPEAKER_00
More so than tossing a loose condom in your parents  trash can.
1
SPEAKER_05
Man, I could just juggle those condoms because my dad is a, let me get this email up, the director of... I would definitely, by the way, the other one, I would 100% wrap it up.
1
SPEAKER_05
And I would probably make sure that I brought that down to the can.
1
SPEAKER_05
That s a good thing.
1
SPEAKER_05
Sorry to go back a question.
1
SPEAKER_05
Throw out your little thing and bring it to the can, the big garbage can, the bin.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes, but I bet those are clean too.
1
SPEAKER_00
Her family doesn t create trash.
1
SPEAKER_05
Oh, my God.
1
SPEAKER_05
But I would say for this, that there s nerves from all of us.
1
SPEAKER_05
You know what s so funny?
1
SPEAKER_05
If there s a purpose beforehand of me talking to someone, like if it s me buying movie tickets or me getting groceries, and there s someone that was like, oh, this is someone that you get to talk to, that s fine.
1
SPEAKER_05
But if it was like me walking up to a random person that I want to talk to, I would be more nervous for that.
1
SPEAKER_05
What do you think, Tig?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, no, for sure.
1
SPEAKER_00
I get so uncomfortable around strangers.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m not really great in big social situations.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s just not where I want to be.
1
SPEAKER_00
I would like to be in a scaled down social situation.
1
SPEAKER_00
Sure.
1
SPEAKER_00
Having dinner one-on-one or in a small group.
1
SPEAKER_05
I love a dinner.
1
SPEAKER_05
I love dinners.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, you ll have to come over and have dinner sometime because we do eat dinner.
1
SPEAKER_00
We have three cans of wet meat twice a day.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s not true.
1
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
In California, it s a whole different thing.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, probably in many places as well, but people have kind of abolished personal comfort zones.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s totally appropriate to touch any stranger at any time.
1
SPEAKER_00
Probably not true.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_05
I feel like in New York, it was so much easier to be social.
1
SPEAKER_05
I feel like the humans in New York and the situations in New York, because you re like, you re on a subway around people and then you re at a bar around people and everybody s pretty close because New York is so like, you don t have much room for anything.
1
SPEAKER_05
And I feel like you just bump into people and talk to people so much more in LA.
1
SPEAKER_05
You re in your car to a destination, you do your thing, you get back in your car by yourself.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_05
So it s like, I miss that about New York.
1
SPEAKER_05
I miss the people also from New York.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I hear that a lot.
1
SPEAKER_00
I bet there s other Finns out there.
1
SPEAKER_00
I bet you re not alone.
1
SPEAKER_00
So maybe reach out, you know, into their personal space and see how they re getting along or if they have any ideas.
1
SPEAKER_00
But I think being in any sort of culture that s not your own probably takes some time to feel at ease with rituals and cultural norms.
1
SPEAKER_05
I think that s right.
1
SPEAKER_05
Also the idea of if you do want to take a risk and talk to some people, you don t know how much is pushing too hard.
1
SPEAKER_05
I think don t be afraid to fail.
1
SPEAKER_05
What s the worst that s going to happen?
1
SPEAKER_05
Someone doesn t respond to you or something.
1
SPEAKER_05
Don t be too pushy.
1
SPEAKER_05
What an interesting thing to chat about, right?
1
SPEAKER_05
Don t be too pushy if you want to chat with someone.
1
SPEAKER_05
But I feel like more and more people will probably, there s a piece of them that would love to connect with anybody.
1
SPEAKER_05
So I wouldn t be afraid.
1
SPEAKER_05
If you want to say something to somebody that s positive and lovely, maybe it s worthwhile.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
I always think about France.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t think I would do well with the double kiss.
1
SPEAKER_05
Oh yeah, that s very… By the way, it was so funny.
1
SPEAKER_05
I visited Paris once for something and everybody was doing it and it was like a rush.
1
SPEAKER_05
I ve seen it on TV so many times.
1
SPEAKER_05
I was so excited to do this thing and people really do it there.
1
SPEAKER_05
It was the best.
1
SPEAKER_05
But I didn t know like do not do it
1
SPEAKER_05
Do you do it to women?
1
SPEAKER_05
Do you do it to men?
1
SPEAKER_05
And is it only people that you – if I m meeting someone for the very first time, isn t that such a huge swing to try to kiss them on both cheeks when I meet them for the first time?
1
SPEAKER_05
So like I didn t know quite when to do it.
1
SPEAKER_05
So I understand that s a perfect culture clash thing for us that I m sure that he feels similar here.
1
SPEAKER_05
Like I hug people oftentimes when I meet them or when I see them rather.
1
SPEAKER_00
And some people think that s too much.
1
SPEAKER_00
They d rather just the two kisses and be done, but I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
I love the newfound elbow bang that happens.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if that s what it s called.
1
SPEAKER_05
Elbow bang and fist pumps.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I prefer an elbow bang.
1
SPEAKER_00
way prefer an elbow bang.
1
SPEAKER_05
Wow.
1
SPEAKER_05
Get your dirty hands away from you.
1
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
1
SPEAKER_00
And that s what I say.
1
SPEAKER_00
Metsis, good luck mixing and mingling out there in the States.
1
SPEAKER_00
Ben, our last segment is a little number I like to call Advice of Yesteryear.
1
SPEAKER_03
When Jerry brags about taking Ginny out, he learns that she dates all the boys.
1
SPEAKER_04
So as we see now, menstruation is just one routine step.
1
SPEAKER_04
in a normal and natural cycle.
1
SPEAKER_04
How do you choose a date?
1
SPEAKER_04
Well, one thing you can consider is look.
1
SPEAKER_02
I did everything you said, but my boss still hasn t asked me to lunch.
1
SPEAKER_00
This is where we take a real question from an advice column of yesteryear and try to answer it a little better.
1
SPEAKER_00
This question was first posed all the way back in 1905.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I know.
1
SPEAKER_00
From the advice column of Beatrice Fairfax.
1
SPEAKER_05
Are these real, Tig?
1
SPEAKER_00
These are.
1
SPEAKER_05
I love this.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m glad you do, I do too.
1
SPEAKER_05
I m in love with this, I can t wait.
1
SPEAKER_05
Beatrice also, even the name is perfect.
1
SPEAKER_05
There s nothing I hate about this.
1
SPEAKER_00
Beatrice Fairfax.
1
SPEAKER_00
Dear Miss Fairfax, I m a young lady considered very popular in my town.
1
SPEAKER_00
I am very much in love with a very fleshy young man.
1
SPEAKER_00
Until lately, he has gone with my best friend who also thinks much of him, but I butted in
2
SPEAKER_01
and got him away from her.
2
SPEAKER_01
I feel rather bad about it now and ask you whether it is best that I keep him and send him back to her.
2
SPEAKER_01
Distressed, Martha. 
2
SPEAKER_01
First of all, what is a very fleshy young man?
2
SPEAKER_03
I m assuming it s a guy with just too much skin.
2
SPEAKER_03
You know what I mean?
2
SPEAKER_03
Just like flapping in the wind skin.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like three cans of wet meat or like muscle?
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh, great question.
2
SPEAKER_03
My assumption would be it would be too much mass in one of those directions.
2
SPEAKER_03
I don t know which direction we re going in, but one of those directions is too much mass.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s really interesting.
2
SPEAKER_01
Very fleshy young man.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if fleshy is positive or negative.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m so, you know, this is not 1905.
2
SPEAKER_03
It has to be positive if she still wants that fleshy meat.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s not even 2005.
2
SPEAKER_01
That was even a long time ago.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, my gosh.
2
SPEAKER_01
There wasn t even... Women couldn t vote in 1905.
2
SPEAKER_03
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_01
But they d steal their best friend s fleshy man and then throw him back without any guilt.
2
SPEAKER_03
I guess I don t understand the dating scene back then.
2
SPEAKER_01
I know.
2
SPEAKER_01
And why is the fleshy young man being ordered around?
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, he s just able to be had and then... Well, I guess he hasn t been kicked to the curb yet.
2
SPEAKER_01
He doesn t know.
2
SPEAKER_01
He doesn t know that she s home typing on a typewriter for sure.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
He doesn t know that she s typing this out and about to lick the stamp and mail it.
2
SPEAKER_03
You gotta talk with your man, talk with your partner, see what s going on.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I feel like no matter what century we re in, it s probably best to not butt in and steal your friend s boyfriends, I feel like, unless it s obvious that you and the fleshy young man really have something and decide to pursue it together.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I don t know, do you value your friendship more or the fleshy young man?
2
SPEAKER_03
And also your friend must have a point of view as well.
2
SPEAKER_03
Surely you talked to her as well, being like, this is mine, this fleshy young man.
2
SPEAKER_03
I was dating this fleshy young man.
2
SPEAKER_03
And then that person can be like, oh, I had no idea.
2
SPEAKER_03
And please, continue dating this fleshy young man.
2
SPEAKER_03
And then there was no problems.
2
SPEAKER_03
I can t wait to hear what this 19-oh, it s just a great idea.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay, well, thanks.
2
SPEAKER_01
Let s see what Beatrice had to say.
2
SPEAKER_01
The very fleshy young man apparently has little to say for himself, but is battered around like a shuttlecock between two battle doors.
2
SPEAKER_01
You are rather late in feeling badly over your selfishness.
2
SPEAKER_01
If you really do love him, which I doubt, be loyal to him at least, since you have already failed in loyalty to your best friend, and hereafter, try to consider other people a little bit.
2
SPEAKER_03
Isn t it funny how these things have been happening for over 100 years?
2
SPEAKER_01
Not just that, but isn t it funny that somebody would respond with words like shuttlecock and battledoors?
2
SPEAKER_03
Battledoors!
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it s never come up for me.
2
SPEAKER_01
What about you?
2
SPEAKER_03
Never use the word shuttlecock outside of when I m playing my badminton.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I don t even know what a battledoor would be.
2
SPEAKER_01
Battle door and shuttlecock is an early sport related to that of modern badminton.
2
SPEAKER_01
The battle door is the racket.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh, racket.
2
SPEAKER_01
All right, Ben, that s the end of the show.
2
SPEAKER_03
So what do we do now?
2
SPEAKER_01
I think you should just come over and hang out with me.
2
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_03
Sounds easy enough.
2
SPEAKER_01
Is there anything that you would like to tell the people about before you head over to my office and hang out?
2
SPEAKER_03
Before I head over there...
2
SPEAKER_03
There s a show called The After Party that I m really proud of, and it s on Apple TV+, and it s every funny person s in it.
2
SPEAKER_03
It s Tiffany Haddish, and Sam Richardson, and Zoe Chow, and Ilana Glazer, John Early, Aminit Eich-Barenholtz, Jamie Demetriou, Dave Franco.
2
SPEAKER_03
It s all amazing people, and it s to murder mystery, Tig.
2
SPEAKER_03
And every episode, it s like a Rashomon type thing, where every episode when someone explains what happened in the night, upon their explanation, it s shot in a different genre of film.
2
SPEAKER_03
So like the Apple guy is shot like a Fast and Furious movie.
2
SPEAKER_03
The romantic is shot like romantic comedy.
2
SPEAKER_03
And in mine, I play a person that wants to be a pop star.
2
SPEAKER_03
So mine is like a big budget musical.
2
SPEAKER_03
So that s on Apple TV+.
2
SPEAKER_03
That s the thing that I d love everybody to see.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, I ll have to check that out.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I really, really appreciate you taking the time and hanging out with me.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was so fun to talk to you and see your mug.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I m sure we ll see each other in a couple of years.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, hopefully so.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, thanks and ta-ta.
2
SPEAKER_03
Bye Tig, ta-ta.
2
SPEAKER_01
And my Hello Again tour is on its way to Santa Rosa, California on April 29th.
2
SPEAKER_01
Los Angeles is my album release party at the Ace Theater, May 14th.
2
SPEAKER_01
Birmingham on May 19th.
2
SPEAKER_01
Nashville, May 20th.
2
SPEAKER_01
Amherst, Massachusetts, May 25th.
2
SPEAKER_01
Ithaca, May 26th, San Diego, July 23rd, Victoria, British Columbia, August 6th, and Honolulu on August 12th.
2
SPEAKER_01
If you want to come see me get tickets at TigNotaro.com.
2
SPEAKER_01
See you there.
2
SPEAKER_02
me
2
SPEAKER_01
Don t Ask Tig is hosted by me, Tig Notaro.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s produced by Thomas Ouellette, Shana Deloria, and Ryan Lohr.
2
SPEAKER_01
Our executive producer and editor is Beth Perlman.
2
SPEAKER_01
Engineering and sound mixing by Johnny Vince Evans and Eric Romani.
2
SPEAKER_01
Digital production by James Napoli.
2
SPEAKER_01
Talent booking by Marianne Ways.
2
SPEAKER_01
Production support from Pizza Shark.
2
SPEAKER_01
Our theme music is Friend and Tig by Edie Burkell and Kyle Crusham, and Listen to Your Heart by Edie Burkell.
2
SPEAKER_01
Special thanks to Hunter Seidman.
2
SPEAKER_01
APM Studios executives in charge are Lily Kim, Alex Shaffert, and Joanne Griffith.
2
SPEAKER_01
Concept developed by Tracy Mumford.
2
SPEAKER_01
Our executive consultant is Dean Capello and Gobsmack Studios.
2
SPEAKER_01
You can always ask for advice at DontAskTig.org.
2
SPEAKER_01
Just write in with your problem or send us a voice memo.
2
SPEAKER_01
Remember to follow us on social media at DontAskTig.
2
SPEAKER_01
DontAskTig is a production of American Public Media.
2
SPEAKER_01
And as always, thanks Dana, and I ll tell Becky.
2
SPEAKER_00
a six billion dollar con.
2
SPEAKER_00
It didn t take long for it to spread like wildfire.
2
SPEAKER_00
You got to take a look at this really crazy gold stock.
2
SPEAKER_00
A buddy of mine got in at a dime.
2
SPEAKER_00
Which destroyed lives and devastated communities.
2
SPEAKER_00
Every little town across the nation, people have shares in this.
2
SPEAKER_00
We lost everything.
2
SPEAKER_00
And to date, no one has been brought to justice.
2
SPEAKER_03
Somebody knows more than we know.
2
SPEAKER_00
The $6 billion gold scam from the BBC World Service and CBC.
2
SPEAKER_00
Search for the $6 billion gold scam wherever you get your podcasts.