1
SPEAKER_02
Hey, come to the house next to LeBron s party.
1
SPEAKER_02
I d go to that, actually.
1
SPEAKER_02
That sounds fun.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
What else we got?
1
SPEAKER_01
That s very cheerful.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, here we go.
1
SPEAKER_01
You want to read the headline for our driving for our drivers?
1
SPEAKER_02
Federal agents raid homes.
1
SPEAKER_02
Tied to Sean Daddy, Sean Combs in L.A.
1
SPEAKER_01
and Miami.
1
SPEAKER_02
I drove by this yesterday.
1
SPEAKER_02
I hit you up.
1
SPEAKER_02
I drove by.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
I didn t know that s what it was, but that s what it was.
1
SPEAKER_01
Um, OK, I ll just say it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Innocent till proven guilty.
1
SPEAKER_02
You will.
1
SPEAKER_01
The other one, if it looks like a Donnelly s walks like a duck.
1
SPEAKER_01
Hey, you got a duck.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I just ran out.
1
SPEAKER_02
I feel like there was one funny thing because it s true now.
1
SPEAKER_02
He I like when the judge is going to say.
1
SPEAKER_02
It says here on your resume, you re a bad boy for life.
1
SPEAKER_02
He s like, well, that s not.
1
SPEAKER_02
That s just my company and my lifestyle, but that looks bad.
1
SPEAKER_02
And then also there was something I saw that said, uh, there was some joke about, but tough daddy judge confronts him on all the, all the things that he says over and over he does in his rap songs.
1
SPEAKER_02
He s been accused of.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, that would be the thing.
1
SPEAKER_01
It d be like when you buy the prosecutor, Mr. Mr. Combs, this lyric, you ll get all the bitches you want and the bitches will do as you say.
1
SPEAKER_02
What did you mean by where are said bitches?
1
SPEAKER_02
Are they with us today?
1
SPEAKER_02
Are they on Zoom?
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_01
Might be innocent, but it s maybe another case of just a lot of money making people become their authentic selves.
1
SPEAKER_01
Good night.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
What if they sent they
1
SPEAKER_02
They send them into as a punishment, into rap battle.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s a dumb joke.
1
SPEAKER_02
Sounds like war.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, but here we have part two.
1
SPEAKER_01
There s a former Syracuse, I mean, a really good basketball player accused of being I love this speech, a drug mule for rapper Diddy.
1
SPEAKER_02
What if the what if the judge is raper Diddy and he goes, it s rapper, you re going to tilt the jury, quit saying it, reading it wrong.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
Drug mule.
1
SPEAKER_02
So what does he do?
1
SPEAKER_02
He hides in his basketball up his behold.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, it s kind of like, you know, he s a star player.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s got a college degree, could have worked for a law firm.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then this is real.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I guess it s because he looks so unassuming and it probably does hide the drugs in the basketball.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s that s fantastic.
1
SPEAKER_01
How does he get involved with Pumped Dead?
1
SPEAKER_01
It s so funny.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, everyone s involved.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s like Kevin Bacon.
1
SPEAKER_01
Everyone has some connection.
1
SPEAKER_01
Do you remember when Robert smuggled in a cartoon about P. Diddy and it was all about no one knew what he did?
1
SPEAKER_01
He s a producer.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s a producer.
1
SPEAKER_02
This new one is Obama fearing Biden lost to Trump is on the phone to strategize as they re talking.
1
SPEAKER_02
What would they be talking about?
1
SPEAKER_01
Hey, how would I do that?
1
SPEAKER_01
Joe, Joe, Joe, Barack Obama.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yes, Obama.
1
SPEAKER_01
Joe, I can t understand what you just said.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, come on.
1
SPEAKER_01
I can do it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Joe, you got to pound the ground game.
1
SPEAKER_01
Michigan and Pennsylvania.
1
SPEAKER_01
Close race.
1
SPEAKER_01
Got to pound it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Going to pound down the ground game.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s just a pound down the ground.
1
SPEAKER_01
Can t believe it s not better.
1
SPEAKER_01
Joe Kagan, take her down and pound town, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound, pound
1
SPEAKER_01
It s manufactured to, in fact, taste like butter.
1
SPEAKER_01
So Obama, don t try to figure it out.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s just a crazy thing.
1
SPEAKER_01
Hunter, are you there?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I m here.
1
SPEAKER_01
Why does he say can t believe it s not butter when it s clearly just a margarine product, margarine product designed to be like butter?
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_01
He says all the time.
1
SPEAKER_01
Not a problem.
1
SPEAKER_01
Hey, I m going to China next week.
1
SPEAKER_01
Hang out with some friends.
1
SPEAKER_01
Want to come Hunter?
1
SPEAKER_01
Let it go.
1
SPEAKER_01
Never going to happen.
1
SPEAKER_01
Obama will go.
1
SPEAKER_01
He won t go.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s too smart for that.
1
SPEAKER_01
I make money my own way.
1
SPEAKER_01
Come on now.
1
SPEAKER_02
You remember the butter commercial goes butter, butter, and then he goes parquet.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, that may have that sex next time.
1
SPEAKER_01
Remember that?
1
SPEAKER_01
No, my main my my first thought was the only one who could understand Joe Biden was Hunter.
1
SPEAKER_01
Hey buddy, I m doing good, Dad.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, I already ate.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I could do it tomorrow, 8 o clock.
1
SPEAKER_01
What?
1
SPEAKER_02
Who d you see at Whole Foods?
1
SPEAKER_01
Whole Foods, you know, why do they say Whole Foods?
1
SPEAKER_01
Come down, they have a half a carrot.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s not whole.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s a lie.
1
SPEAKER_01
All right.
1
SPEAKER_01
Here we go.
1
SPEAKER_01
Blood.
1
SPEAKER_02
So this is you told me about this blood.
1
SPEAKER_02
So Tom Cruise, when I saw this story, it said blood soaked.
1
SPEAKER_02
Then it said fake blood.
1
SPEAKER_02
No shit.
1
SPEAKER_02
Tom Cruise runs through London Information.
1
SPEAKER_02
By the way, Tom Cruise has got it made.
1
SPEAKER_02
Any movie he s about to do, he s running.
1
SPEAKER_02
And that s usually the poster, the trailer, the everything.
1
SPEAKER_02
He s always in the running, and he runs really fast.
1
SPEAKER_02
I don t know if he does it every take.
1
SPEAKER_02
I would not.
1
SPEAKER_01
But every take, he fucking sprints.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s mysterious to me.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I would like to know what he does to make this happen.
1
SPEAKER_01
Because to be honest, I ll go to track meets and watch men in their 60s run a 100 meter dash.
1
SPEAKER_01
And they go get set.
1
SPEAKER_01
They re in the blocks and they yell.
1
SPEAKER_01
The gun goes off.
1
SPEAKER_01
They they look like they re having a fistfight with their body.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, every single part of their body is rebelling.
1
SPEAKER_01
They re trying to go fast and they re just like mummies going down.
1
SPEAKER_01
So then I see Tom Cruise.
1
SPEAKER_02
Well, the best part about that story, Dana, is that you go to track fees for six year olds and watch.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, they have a division sometimes.
1
SPEAKER_01
And now the 60 to 64-year-olds will try to, especially in indoor track, 60-meter dash.
1
SPEAKER_01
On your mark, get set.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then they just... It s like just... They re so tight.
1
SPEAKER_01
The hip mobility...
1
SPEAKER_01
that he has to have is Achilles tendons and calves have to withstand what he s doing.
1
SPEAKER_01
And he s sprinting 40 to 50 yards all day long.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I don t know if we can show a video of it, but maybe put it in later, Greg, but it s pretty impressive.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s more impressive than hanging from airplanes, holding his breath for seven minutes.
1
SPEAKER_01
This is the most impressive thing Tom Cruise does.
1
SPEAKER_01
Props for me is being able to sprint at his age like he does.
1
SPEAKER_02
Good night, people.
1
SPEAKER_02
Remember?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
When I did the wrong Missy, there was a scene where me and Swartz and have to run across the whole hotel.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
And I go, I don t think at this point, because my neck s so bad, I can really like just run.
1
SPEAKER_02
I used to be pretty fast.
1
SPEAKER_02
So I go, let s fast walk.
1
SPEAKER_02
And it s like, what are you talking about?
1
SPEAKER_02
I go, it s it s it s more like we re trying to be not suspicious.
1
SPEAKER_02
We fast walk, which looks it kind of looked funnier.
1
SPEAKER_02
So it sold it a little bit, but I was like, I don t think I could do this.
1
SPEAKER_02
And when I m in Pilates, they go, can you touch your toes?
1
SPEAKER_02
I go, I can t touch my waist.
1
SPEAKER_02
They re like, oh.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I can t but my top button.
1
SPEAKER_01
What are you trying to get?
1
SPEAKER_01
I can t look at my belly.
1
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, all I m saying is I m tight.
1
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, the hip mobility do that.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s a big thing.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I know you ve been on top of that through through your time on planet Earth.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yes, I m on top of making myself looser.
1
SPEAKER_02
OK, OK, this guy s got a lot of heat on him.
1
SPEAKER_02
This he can t make a bad movie.
1
SPEAKER_02
He does.
1
SPEAKER_01
Jeremy, he is a great actor.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, but if you look at these two, you don t look at Jeremy Allen White, go Springsteen, right?
1
SPEAKER_01
But he s such a good actor.
1
SPEAKER_01
He ll find an angle.
1
SPEAKER_01
But I heard they Springsteen approve this biopic.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then they were asking, you know, who s going to play me?
1
SPEAKER_00
Who s going to play me on the biopic about myself?
1
SPEAKER_01
And they said, it s going to be Jeremy Allen White.
1
SPEAKER_01
Jeremy Allen who?
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, he s the guy.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s the guy from The Bear.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I like that.
1
SPEAKER_00
You re going to have a bear play the boss, an actual bear.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s avant-garde.
1
SPEAKER_00
I like that.
1
SPEAKER_00
So a bear s going to play the boss.
1
SPEAKER_00
Thank you very much.
1
SPEAKER_02
Thank you very much.
1
SPEAKER_00
I thought about that 20 minutes ago.
1
SPEAKER_02
Jeremy Allen White should play a bear.
1
SPEAKER_02
That should be the real one.
1
SPEAKER_02
But what about Springsteen?
1
SPEAKER_02
It s not going to be that.
1
SPEAKER_02
Timothee Chalamelama ding dong guys.
1
SPEAKER_01
We have a Timothee Chalamingo.
1
SPEAKER_01
Timothee Chalamanga is doing a Bob Dylan biopic.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I thought this would be fun to talk about and to tell Dylan that, you know, hey, who s playing me in my biopic?
1
SPEAKER_01
And they go, oh, it s Timothee Chalamet.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, Chalamet.
1
SPEAKER_01
I once had a Ford Chalamet.
1
SPEAKER_01
Sounds like it was a nice car, Ford Chalamet.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, it s actually Timothee Chalamet, Chalamet, Emperor Chalamet, Destroyed the Ottoman Empire in 1442.
1
SPEAKER_02
He goes, I haven t seen a movie in 28 years, but is it the guy from Dune II?
1
SPEAKER_01
I enjoy Dune II better than Dune I.
2
SPEAKER_03
But two is always more than one.
2
SPEAKER_00
I like sequels.
2
SPEAKER_00
Hey, see if you can pull up the new picture of Bruce Springsteen, because I know he ll be who should be playing him.
2
SPEAKER_00
It should be.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh, OK.
2
SPEAKER_00
Megan.
2
SPEAKER_00
Megan, what are you talking about?
2
SPEAKER_00
What s happening?
2
SPEAKER_03
Scroll down.
2
SPEAKER_03
There we go.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh, come on.
2
SPEAKER_03
That s not real.
2
SPEAKER_00
All this way for that fucking Megan Rapone joke.
2
SPEAKER_03
That s Megan Rapone.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, that s Springsteen.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, it s not.
2
SPEAKER_00
Look at him dressed in a half.
2
SPEAKER_03
But it s not it s not the same drummer.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, that s that s Phoenix to do a gig.
2
SPEAKER_03
Well, well, that that blows my mind.
2
SPEAKER_03
You folks are watching this on YouTube or driving.
2
SPEAKER_03
He s got his shirt open.
2
SPEAKER_03
He looks.
2
SPEAKER_03
was his hair is white angel and he looks like an angel.
2
SPEAKER_03
No, I love the boss.
2
SPEAKER_02
But, you know, hey, I thought I d just mix it up a little bit, you know, and only but have four buttons down.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I ve been working on my pecs like, you know, you know, fast Tom Cruise can run.
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, I can make my pecs dance like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
2
SPEAKER_02
Thirty nineteen ninety three.
2
SPEAKER_03
The tell.
2
SPEAKER_03
OK, now I know it s Springsteen.
2
SPEAKER_03
Know why?
2
SPEAKER_03
Because the other thing about aging, don t want to make the whole podcast about this, is that that one on his left wrist is for arthritis.
2
SPEAKER_03
I ll bet because playing the guitar like way does.
2
SPEAKER_03
And he s got a little glove on his right hand that kind of helping his fingers not cramp up.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, there is.
2
SPEAKER_03
Well, I love Springsteen.
2
SPEAKER_00
I just didn t recognize his face.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s at him.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s him.
2
SPEAKER_00
I think his hair just went gray and he didn t die.
2
SPEAKER_00
I mean, listen.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s well, he should have went salt and pepper.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s just a little jarring to people.
2
SPEAKER_03
You go, you go pure.
2
SPEAKER_03
Let me start.
2
SPEAKER_03
You go pure pepper and then you go salt and pepper and then you go more salt than pepper.
2
SPEAKER_03
And then you go pure salt.
2
SPEAKER_03
You don t go pure pepper to pure salt.
2
SPEAKER_03
Good night.
2
SPEAKER_00
He went, he goes, he goes, give me the ghost.
2
SPEAKER_02
I want to look pale with titties and short white hair.
2
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it s just one of those things.
2
SPEAKER_00
He s gone his whole life without a bad picture.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, he s got a million.
2
SPEAKER_00
Welcome to the fucking club.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
And then right before he went on, he looked at someone, some young person goes, hey, you think I look like Jeremy Allen White?
2
SPEAKER_02
There you go.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, we re getting Tilda Swanson.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s what they said.
2
SPEAKER_00
He looked like there.
2
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_03
I got the Tilda Swanson.
2
SPEAKER_03
That s funny.
2
SPEAKER_03
I m laughing inside right now.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s good.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s very smooth.
2
SPEAKER_00
He shaved his body.
2
SPEAKER_03
He shaved his chest.
2
SPEAKER_03
He shaved his face.
2
SPEAKER_03
And he s got little wedges behind his ears.
2
SPEAKER_00
She thinks they look like moobs or boobs or something, but I think it s just that s a lighting problem.
2
SPEAKER_00
He s leaning back.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
Pictures do not tell the truth.
2
SPEAKER_03
So we re going to just punt on this and say that s just an awkward picture of the boss.
2
SPEAKER_00
OK, next one.
2
SPEAKER_00
But that was a good we stumbled into.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s good.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
It took 30 minutes, but we got there.
2
SPEAKER_03
We have editing capability.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, because it s final four time March Madness.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
This was on the internet.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t even remember him doing this.
2
SPEAKER_00
So, um, let s take a look at Farley as Christian late, early old bit playing a basketball player.
2
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m Christian Laker, 1992 Duke, Kentucky, Kentucky s up by one.
2
SPEAKER_02
Christian s got the ball.
2
SPEAKER_02
Two seconds left.
2
SPEAKER_02
He s super beautiful.
2
SPEAKER_02
Turnaround jumper.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s his own rebound.
2
SPEAKER_03
Well, well, Chris is always great, but it wasn t it.
2
SPEAKER_03
They didn t play into Chris s strength.
2
SPEAKER_03
I mean, they should have had him playing the guys and missing shots by a mile and then screaming and writhing in pain or something.
2
SPEAKER_03
There he was all kind of smooth and they were frozen and he made the shot.
2
SPEAKER_00
So, you know, the funny thing is he s good at basketball.
2
SPEAKER_00
So he was probably arguing them.
2
SPEAKER_00
What if I m good in this?
2
SPEAKER_00
And they re like,
2
SPEAKER_00
They probably met him in the middle and then it was nowhere.
2
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, Chris is was funny, natural athlete.
2
SPEAKER_03
But it s like if he got fouled and they said, no, it wasn t a foul, then he d flip out.
2
SPEAKER_00
They asked me to do a promo like this sounds like a joke set up.
2
SPEAKER_00
I did do one of these if we have it.
2
SPEAKER_00
If we don t, it s OK.
2
SPEAKER_00
But I did do a couple with Amari Stoudemire.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was teaching him how to play.
2
SPEAKER_03
All right, great.
2
SPEAKER_00
Here we go.
2
SPEAKER_03
Sure.
2
SPEAKER_03
I m ready to show the NBA fans that I m dedicated to taking my game to another level.
2
SPEAKER_03
So I decided to do this rip funnel.
2
SPEAKER_00
When he came to me, I sat him down right away and I said, listen, I m going to coach you.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m not your daddy, not your mommy, not your little sister.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m going to give you a few pointers, just some basic stuff.
2
SPEAKER_00
When I come in, I m Duncan, I m the swimmer.
2
SPEAKER_00
What s up?
2
SPEAKER_00
Give him the swimmer.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s totally legal here.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m not your preacher.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m not your best friend from eighth grade.
2
SPEAKER_00
The best thing you can do is flop.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s another rule.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then when the guy just taps you, you make it big like Kramer.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I m not your cashier, your precious goddang El Pollo Loco you go to every day.
2
SPEAKER_00
So give me a little tap.
2
SPEAKER_00
I ll show you how to fall.
2
SPEAKER_00
A little light one.
2
SPEAKER_00
Ow!
2
SPEAKER_02
Dang it!
2
SPEAKER_02
Dude!
2
SPEAKER_02
Ah, I got a stinger!
2
SPEAKER_02
God, the stinger!
2
SPEAKER_00
I got a stinger.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s good.
2
SPEAKER_00
We were just starting to get along.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m here to whip your ass into shape and get you to the next level.
2
SPEAKER_00
I walked off, he hit me too hard.
2
SPEAKER_00
What year was this?
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh, there s another one.
2
SPEAKER_00
Hey man!
2
SPEAKER_00
I did four of those.
2
SPEAKER_00
They were pretty funny.
2
SPEAKER_00
I told them how to wear goggles.
2
SPEAKER_00
They were funny.
2
SPEAKER_00
To give it so it s an unenthused one.
2
SPEAKER_03
I was just thinking about, you just had started to do a little bit of the peninsula, a little goatee patch.
2
SPEAKER_00
Gross, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
And you just sort of, so you were just off SNL kind of maybe?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, the sun, some of the work with the suns.
2
SPEAKER_00
had me come do it.
2
SPEAKER_00
It sounded like fun.
2
SPEAKER_00
And Mari was cool.
2
SPEAKER_00
And we just no script.
2
SPEAKER_00
Just that s the thing.
2
SPEAKER_00
Come in.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, do five promos that are each minute and just make up some funny shit.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m like, so we made up some funny ones.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was all right.
2
SPEAKER_00
And he was very cool.
2
SPEAKER_00
He said, do whatever.
2
SPEAKER_00
Just tell me what to do.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I liked him a lot.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I didn t know where they aired.
2
SPEAKER_00
They might have aired at the gas pump at Circle K on Indian School.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_03
OK, hey, man, it s it s a paycheck unless it was volunteer.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if it was OK.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, this is the one I always get sent.
2
SPEAKER_00
Mm hmm.
2
SPEAKER_00
And people say explain things.
2
SPEAKER_00
This is OK.
2
SPEAKER_00
So William Morris has four.
2
SPEAKER_00
floor seats at the games.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was William Morris.
2
SPEAKER_00
They gave me two seats.
2
SPEAKER_00
I took Chris.
2
SPEAKER_00
And back in those days, I don t know if it s still this way, but if you get out of the four, you get the two good ones.
2
SPEAKER_00
One of you gets to sit next to the bench.
2
SPEAKER_00
And so the first half I did in the second half, we flipped and he did.
2
SPEAKER_00
And sometimes you got to sit next to Kobe because he would sit at the end of the bench.
2
SPEAKER_00
But
2
SPEAKER_00
I know you think of Kobe as like a freewheeling, lazy player, but he was usually focused.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I do.
2
SPEAKER_03
I do.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I don t know why you feel you.
2
SPEAKER_00
You re you think he always half asses a phone about basketball.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
But so this was remarkably caught on camera.
2
SPEAKER_00
the way they shot it and just play it first and I ll explain it.
2
SPEAKER_00
But everyone sends me this all the time.
2
SPEAKER_02
What you gotta do is play a post down.
2
SPEAKER_00
You re just being funny.
2
SPEAKER_02
Isn t that funny the announcer?
2
SPEAKER_00
God, they pull back.
2
SPEAKER_03
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_03
Talk about a zone.
2
SPEAKER_03
I was at a hotel once and the Sacramento Kings were there and they were playing the Lakers in the playoffs when the Lakers had Shaq.
2
SPEAKER_03
And, uh, it got, it must be a tough game.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I actually said to the coach, the only way you can win is to try to tire out Shaq.
2
SPEAKER_00
And you said that s the coach.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
The only way you can win is run Shaq ragged and try to get him tired.
2
SPEAKER_03
I think they won that game, but I m not saying I could give advice.
2
SPEAKER_00
You coached them to the, you coach, but you coached against the Lakers is what you really did.
2
SPEAKER_03
Well, I was, I was working out with the Kings at the time, just at a hotel place.
2
SPEAKER_03
They were stretching.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
And that s before Sandler did it.
2
SPEAKER_00
You did it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Uh, Sandler goes to the cities and he goes, guy, guy, that boo.
2
SPEAKER_00
And they go, all right, come down.
2
SPEAKER_00
I thought by the way, before you play this, you know about Shohei Ohtani.
2
SPEAKER_00
Does everyone know we have a new?
2
SPEAKER_00
Asian baseball player.
2
SPEAKER_00
And what a show.
2
SPEAKER_01
He deferred his income.
2
SPEAKER_01
He s going to get 700 million in 10 years.
2
SPEAKER_01
But for the next 10 years, he s going to get eighteen hundred dollars a year.
2
SPEAKER_01
He s living at the Motel six.
2
SPEAKER_03
And he s at the Oakwoods.
2
SPEAKER_03
He s at the Oakwoods.
2
SPEAKER_03
But he ll be worth seven.
2
SPEAKER_03
OK, what s this?
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, this is so.
2
SPEAKER_00
So Shohei.
2
SPEAKER_00
His interpreter got busted for gambling.
2
SPEAKER_00
So Shohei, they found out his interpreter blew $4.5 million on gambling.
3
SPEAKER_04
which is interesting.
3
SPEAKER_04
And a big problem in baseball, I m sure, is that they got to make sure no one s gambling in all sports.
3
SPEAKER_04
You re not allowed to.
3
SPEAKER_04
So they said, show a weight.
3
SPEAKER_04
He said, yes, I covered his four and a half million dollar gambling problem.
3
SPEAKER_04
And they said, wait, was it you gambling?
3
SPEAKER_04
And then they waited.
3
SPEAKER_04
And then they had another interpreter go.
3
SPEAKER_04
Oh, no, no.
3
SPEAKER_04
He was just saying, no, he doesn t know anything about it.
3
SPEAKER_04
So Pete Rose comes out and says this, which is funny.
3
SPEAKER_04
Well, back in the seventies and eighties, I wish I d had an interpreter.
3
SPEAKER_04
I d be scot free.
3
SPEAKER_04
Isn t that kind of a good point?
3
SPEAKER_04
Well, it s yeah, they re saying show.
3
SPEAKER_04
Hey, Mike, you know, they go, well, you know, then they have gamblers, of course, get on tick tock within minutes and be like, hey,
3
SPEAKER_04
This guy s got a big, you know, Shohei allegedly gambles.
3
SPEAKER_04
Now, I m sure a lot of them do.
3
SPEAKER_04
You re not allowed to bet on your own team.
3
SPEAKER_04
Of course, that s the worst thing you can do.
3
SPEAKER_04
But basketball, baseball, all of it is so vague because DraftKings and FanDuel, they re teamed up with the NFL and the NBA.
3
SPEAKER_04
They re in the stadium.
3
SPEAKER_04
They re all over the place.
3
SPEAKER_04
They re on their jerseys.
3
SPEAKER_04
And then they re like, but you guys don t do it.
3
SPEAKER_04
It s like, it s getting a little blurry.
3
SPEAKER_04
a little murky.
3
SPEAKER_04
And so I just thought it was funny.
3
SPEAKER_04
Like Pete Rose is sitting here banned from the Hall of Fame because he bet a little bit in the old days.
3
SPEAKER_04
And now betting is the greatest thing in the world.
3
SPEAKER_03
Well, my question is this, how does the interpreter without Shanna Hay, Shohei s help even get four and a half million in debt?
3
SPEAKER_03
You know, what s he getting paid if it s not?
3
SPEAKER_03
Maybe we should do that.
3
SPEAKER_04
That s the big story.
3
SPEAKER_04
How much do you get paid as an interpreter?
3
SPEAKER_03
I mean, either that or just like a friend thing, you know, like, hey, I know I was interpreting for you, but can I get your bank account numbers?
3
SPEAKER_04
I mean, maybe because he has to do everything for him.
3
SPEAKER_03
Maybe he was the accountant, usually the business manager.
3
SPEAKER_03
Sorry, Warren Grant or the accountant steals the money.
3
SPEAKER_03
But the interpreter getting access to all the stuff.
3
SPEAKER_03
Hey, man, what s your pin for your ATM?
3
SPEAKER_04
Well, maybe because he says, hey, show, hey, you just got a big fat check for eighteen hundred.
3
SPEAKER_04
You want me to go pop in the bank for you?
3
SPEAKER_04
I ll go tell him what do you want them to do?
3
SPEAKER_04
And he says, put it in my account.
3
SPEAKER_04
And then the interpreter goes, put it in my account.
3
SPEAKER_04
You know what I mean?
3
SPEAKER_04
Because Shohei doesn t know what he s saying in English.
3
SPEAKER_03
Well, yeah, well, just so for we have some baseball fans.
3
SPEAKER_03
Shohei is his nickname, right?
3
SPEAKER_03
The the athlete that we re talking about.
3
SPEAKER_03
has never been seen in the modern era.
3
SPEAKER_03
I think Babe Ruth maybe was the last guy to be an incredible pitcher and the best hitter.
3
SPEAKER_03
So Shohei is a double threat.
3
SPEAKER_03
He s like one of the best pitchers.
3
SPEAKER_03
He has an elbow injury right now.
3
SPEAKER_03
One of the best pitchers in Major League Baseball.
3
SPEAKER_03
In history.
3
SPEAKER_03
In history and the best.
3
SPEAKER_03
That s why you get 700 million.
3
SPEAKER_03
You get close to a billion when you re that good at two positions.
3
SPEAKER_03
Could I just do
3
SPEAKER_04
Dana, he should be talked about way more for how good he is.
3
SPEAKER_04
But yeah, rather than talking about it for the wrong reasons.
3
SPEAKER_03
Now, you know, you don t get 700 million without being pretty good.
3
SPEAKER_04
OK, go ahead.
3
SPEAKER_03
And I do.
3
SPEAKER_03
I was going to do because by popular demand, I know people liked when I had the Japanese man in an earthquake.
3
SPEAKER_03
I might as well just do it again.
3
SPEAKER_03
Part two.
3
SPEAKER_03
Part two.
3
SPEAKER_02
Part two.
3
SPEAKER_03
The sequel.
3
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, this is just a very polite, friendly Japanese man with a friend.
3
SPEAKER_03
And then there s a little bit of a tremor.
3
SPEAKER_03
Here we go.
3
SPEAKER_03
OK, here we go.
3
SPEAKER_03
I see.
3
SPEAKER_02
So what do we do?
3
SPEAKER_02
So what do we do?
3
SPEAKER_02
So what do we do?
3
SPEAKER_02
Well,
3
SPEAKER_02
Jesus!
3
SPEAKER_04
That s a 10.8!
3
SPEAKER_03
And scene!
3
SPEAKER_04
Everyone s okay?
3
SPEAKER_03
Yeah!
3
SPEAKER_03
No, hey man, Tokyo is
3
SPEAKER_03
You could put a 10.0 in there and all the villains just shake.
3
SPEAKER_03
They don t, they don t go down for nobody.
3
SPEAKER_03
Now.
3
SPEAKER_04
Also you had came out with a sequel in less than a year.
3
SPEAKER_04
That s very rare.
3
SPEAKER_04
All right, let s go to advice column.
3
SPEAKER_04
We re going to have people ask us advice.
3
SPEAKER_04
Let s see what advice.
3
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_04
Oh, look, we got a girl.
3
SPEAKER_04
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_04
I m back.
3
SPEAKER_04
Here we go.
3
SPEAKER_04
Look at the bottom.
3
SPEAKER_04
It says advice.
3
SPEAKER_01
I could use your advice.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_01
I recently started in only fans.
3
SPEAKER_01
I ve done it before.
3
SPEAKER_01
Previous seasons, always seasons.
3
SPEAKER_01
It helps me make rent, but I m in the case where I need to make a lot of money quickly.
3
SPEAKER_01
So my question for you two is because you have the male perspective and you have money, I want to know what you think I should put on my OnlyFans to make a lot of money as a solo female solo artist.
3
SPEAKER_04
OK, well, all right.
3
SPEAKER_03
Well, I get asked this question all the time.
3
SPEAKER_03
Oh, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_03
But then I say to my wife, come on, David, I ll let you.
3
SPEAKER_03
You don t have to.
3
SPEAKER_04
You can go.
3
SPEAKER_03
I would say this, in all sincerity, do the minimal amount you have to do in terms of being pornographic and get the money.
3
SPEAKER_03
OnlyFans is not all, you know, you can just, there s a lot of lonely men, all you need
3
SPEAKER_03
is about five million lonely men globally, because the digital audience is five billion.
3
SPEAKER_03
So you need five million and just be their surrogate girlfriend.
3
SPEAKER_03
Maybe sometimes you wear a blouse.
3
SPEAKER_03
They like do the minimal.
3
SPEAKER_03
You can see what you re making.
3
SPEAKER_03
See, I m giving actual real advice.
3
SPEAKER_03
And then if you have to up the ante and you actually need the money, it s better than an 1890 walk in the streets of London.
3
SPEAKER_04
Is that a prostitute?
3
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_03
OK, because you re never you re virtual.
3
SPEAKER_03
But I d say do the minimal and get the most money with the.
3
SPEAKER_04
It seems like.
3
SPEAKER_04
A new version, it s better than being a stripper in the old days or a peeler, as they say in Canada, because.
3
SPEAKER_04
In the strip club, the guys are right there, they get to know you, they know your car, they can wait for you when you leave.
3
SPEAKER_04
It seems like a bad risky.
3
SPEAKER_04
If you re going to do something like that, that was the really risky way to do it.
3
SPEAKER_04
But.
3
SPEAKER_04
today, you re in your house, you do it, you do it for a half hour, you make I see the easiness of it, of why it s appealing and the money.
3
SPEAKER_04
I don t know if they all make money.
3
SPEAKER_04
I don t know if you need a big audience already.
3
SPEAKER_04
Like if you re a big influencer, then it s more risky that everyone finds out.
3
SPEAKER_04
I think the worst case is you don t have a lot of people.
3
SPEAKER_04
You do it and really only your friends and family find out and then you don t really make a lot of money.
3
SPEAKER_03
That s true.
3
SPEAKER_03
Here s a way to test yourself.
3
SPEAKER_03
Like if you took.
3
SPEAKER_03
The content, the video from it, and you re getting married, and then when there s the reception, it s played on a big screen, would you be OK with your husband and all your family and friends?
3
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that s a test.
3
SPEAKER_03
You have to.
3
SPEAKER_03
That s a test.
3
SPEAKER_03
If you can show it to them and they ll be like, ha ha ha ha ha.
3
SPEAKER_03
Well, I would say.
3
SPEAKER_03
My question is to you, would you do OnlyFans?
3
SPEAKER_03
Do men do OnlyFans?
3
SPEAKER_04
I think they do.
3
SPEAKER_04
And they make money.
3
SPEAKER_04
I think Tyga, I saw on a chart.
3
SPEAKER_04
on Yahoo News was saying that he makes a lot.
3
SPEAKER_04
I don t know what he does.
3
SPEAKER_04
I hope it s not.
3
SPEAKER_03
Wait a minute.
3
SPEAKER_03
You seem to know a lot about OnlyFans.
3
SPEAKER_04
I m just an observation.
3
SPEAKER_04
Well, that girl, Bad Baby, that I did that video with, she makes 20 million a year.
3
SPEAKER_04
So you start to go, oh, OnlyFans people make more than Tom Cruise now.
3
SPEAKER_04
So I see the allure.
3
SPEAKER_04
But hang on before this next question, I would say try to go into the guys that like feet or something specific.
3
SPEAKER_04
I think you can make it doing the weirdest stuff and it doesn t have to be the most.
3
SPEAKER_03
Actually, having sex on foot foot fetish, that s that s a great.
3
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that s a great.
3
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_04
But thank you for the question.
3
SPEAKER_04
OK, what s the next one?
3
SPEAKER_04
What s this guy s only man s question?
3
SPEAKER_00
Hi, David and Dana.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is Rick Tittle.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m on the courts trail just in Scottsdale.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m sure Spade is familiar with this.
3
SPEAKER_00
My advice I need is at what age?
3
SPEAKER_00
Should I stop playing video games because I m the same age as a spade?
3
SPEAKER_00
All right.
3
SPEAKER_00
Love the pod.
3
SPEAKER_00
Thanks, guys.
3
SPEAKER_04
Little Rick Tittle should have gone into being a weatherman.
3
SPEAKER_03
Rick Tittle or like a guy who comes off the bench.
3
SPEAKER_03
Rick Tittle is actually playing some time now for Los Angeles.
4
SPEAKER_00
And Tiddle, Tiddle goes inside.
4
SPEAKER_00
We ll be back with Rick Tiddle in your five day.
4
SPEAKER_00
OK, so.
4
SPEAKER_00
OK.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Let me see.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
By the way, you can always ask for video advice by writing Superfly at Odyssey Dotcom.
4
SPEAKER_00
A.U.D.A.C.Y.
4
SPEAKER_00
Dotcom.
4
SPEAKER_00
But OK, so Rick Scottsdale, I don t know that trail.
4
SPEAKER_00
Video games is something I never got into.
4
SPEAKER_00
Uh-huh.
4
SPEAKER_00
But it s such a good time killer.
4
SPEAKER_00
I ve heard I should do it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, other than Angry Birds, there s not much really high quality.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I never got into Super Mario.
4
SPEAKER_00
I never got into.
4
SPEAKER_00
Call of Duty and all the ones.
4
SPEAKER_01
Don t know.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m not a tweaker or a twitcher.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was in the 90s.
4
SPEAKER_01
It was Donkey Kong.
4
SPEAKER_01
It was like little gorillas throwing barrels.
4
SPEAKER_00
What about this?
4
SPEAKER_01
Very cute.
4
SPEAKER_01
I would say just keep going, because now AI, AI is going to start making video games.
4
SPEAKER_01
And pretty soon you ll be in a room.
4
SPEAKER_01
It ll be three dimensional.
4
SPEAKER_01
It ll be water spraying at you.
4
SPEAKER_01
So or try to get a job as an AI engineer, because NVIDIA, who makes all the microchips and is a trillion dollar, two trillion dollar company, started started with video games.
4
SPEAKER_01
So maybe you can parlay that because the world s becoming virtual, David.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Uh, everything is virtual.
4
SPEAKER_00
You might, yeah, you might want to know something about video games.
4
SPEAKER_00
That might be good for Rick Tittle.
4
SPEAKER_00
Also, like OnlyFans, there s video gamers that make a killing.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I m sure every kid in the world is saying, but mom, if you let me play video games all day, I might get to the game Olympics or one of these big conventions and get sponsored.
4
SPEAKER_00
like skateboarding, like all that.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_00
I would say do it just for your own mental health for fun.
4
SPEAKER_01
But if it takes over your life, that s I would I would say just do it.
4
SPEAKER_01
But don t have it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Don t have the tableau look like this dark basement potato chip wrappers all around beer cans.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then you re the game s getting you anxious and angry.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, you know, you want to be light about it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Can people go crazy?
4
SPEAKER_00
All right.
4
SPEAKER_00
That might be it for the advice, unless you want to do one more.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you can explain this picture real quick.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yes, I love someone wrote me and said, explain.
4
SPEAKER_00
So some people just explain the haircut.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, all I m seeing is you on my screen.
4
SPEAKER_00
I loved that fucking purple shirt I had and it was silk.
4
SPEAKER_00
I remember that shirt.
4
SPEAKER_00
You wore that.
4
SPEAKER_00
I wore that fucking shit.
4
SPEAKER_00
So during SNL, I was doing that receptionist sketch where I go and you are and you are.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
And.
4
SPEAKER_00
It got a little bit of attention, so the guy running the MTV Awards said, why don t you come here and do it an interstitial bit, but you have access to our performers, they would come do it.
4
SPEAKER_00
You have to have someone famous that you act like you don t recognize them and you re talking down to them as the bit.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I said, oh, how fun.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I got Ringo Starr and Pinhead and someone else.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, Dice, I think.
4
SPEAKER_00
So we took a picture, luckily, and it s the most random picture.
4
SPEAKER_00
Why Ringo Starr is wearing that?
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know, but I love him.
4
SPEAKER_00
You love him.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I forgot I got to meet peace and love, brother, peace and love.
4
SPEAKER_01
They were my brothers.
4
SPEAKER_01
They were my brothers.
4
SPEAKER_01
Look at Dana s balloons.
4
SPEAKER_01
I got this.
4
SPEAKER_01
Did I?
4
SPEAKER_01
What is on my screen?
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that was my screen s going way wacky.
4
SPEAKER_01
Peace and love.
4
SPEAKER_01
Peace and love.
4
SPEAKER_01
Now I just see you.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s OK.
4
SPEAKER_01
Is Greg doing that?
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t think he can do it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t even know.
4
SPEAKER_00
Are we going to wrap up?
4
SPEAKER_00
I m not doing it.
4
SPEAKER_01
My screen s gone.
4
SPEAKER_01
This is Riverside.
4
SPEAKER_01
It is.
4
SPEAKER_01
It is an A.I.
4
SPEAKER_00
I only saw you a peace sign that I could trigger it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Or a waving thing to something.
4
SPEAKER_01
Something s weird on my.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, my God.
4
SPEAKER_01
I only see you now, David.
4
SPEAKER_01
This whole thing, I want to press any buttons, I only see you.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, we should end it on that sort of.
4
SPEAKER_01
Mistake.
4
SPEAKER_00
I like it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
So those are actually, I like advice.
4
SPEAKER_00
So we ll do it again.
4
SPEAKER_00
So do it next week.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
We have great vague advice that won t help anyone.
4
SPEAKER_00
Let us know.
4
SPEAKER_01
It won t really help, but we didn t shit on them.
4
SPEAKER_00
We were pretty respectful, you know, so, and, uh, thanks for watching.
4
SPEAKER_00
Thanks for listening and come see me in the road.
4
SPEAKER_00
And that s about it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Dan, anything for you?
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, go warriors.
4
SPEAKER_00
Go over to Fly on the Wall if you re really bored and watch that one on audio.
4
SPEAKER_00
All right, thanks guys.
4
SPEAKER_00
This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment, Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman.
4
SPEAKER_00
Hope you liked it.