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SPEAKER_08
 Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine, hosted by me, Danielle Robay.
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And me, Simone Boyce.
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Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.
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I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side.
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You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice that they want to share.
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 Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart.
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Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side.
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This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.
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The joy they brought to the nation.
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You're free completely.
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No one is there to destroy you.
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The danger they endured.
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They said my head should be cut off.
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 I'm John Legend.
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Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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 Discover a new educational and interactive podcast, Stories for Kids by Lingokids.
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Our episodes are packed with fun activities.
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Right, Elliot?
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SPEAKER_07
Oh, yes.
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SPEAKER_07
We went shape hunting around the block, and we found spheres and cubes on the street.
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That was great fun.
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Join Stories for Kids, the Lingokids podcast, inspiring you to learn while having fun.
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Listen to Stories for Kids on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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SPEAKER_05
 And he was like, listen, we're, you know, we love your product.
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SPEAKER_05
We want to wish you the best of luck, but it's a no.
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SPEAKER_05
Okay.
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SPEAKER_05
Can you tell me why?
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He was not three feet from me face to face.
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And he says, do you want me to be honest with you?
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SPEAKER_05
And I said, yes, please.
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SPEAKER_05
And he says, I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you with your body and your weight.
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SPEAKER_01
Wow.
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SPEAKER_01
 Hey, everyone.
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SPEAKER_01
Welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world.
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Thanks to each and every single one of you that come back every week to listen, learn, and grow.
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Now, one of my favorite things that I get to do on this podcast is introduce you to people that I think have amazing energy, amazing insight, and incredible ideas.
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And not just that, plans of action, strategies, techniques.
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 and journeys that when they share them with you, you'll be able to follow in their footsteps, you'll be able to feel inspired, and you'll be able to innovate and start living your passion today.
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And today's guest is going to help us do all of those things.
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I've known today's guest for just around a year, but I have to tell you that in this year, I've been able to experience her energy through personally spending hours with her, like literally hours.
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I think when we first met, I spent,
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 all of 14 hours with her back and forth on a journey we went on.
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And then across messages, phone calls, and she's extremely personal, has phenomenal insights for your growth and journey.
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And today she's here to talk about her incredible book, Believe It.
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Our guest today is Jamie Kern-Lima, founder of It Cosmetics.
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And today we're going to talk about how to go from being underestimated to being unstoppable.
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 Now, for those of you who don't know, Jamie's the co-founder of It Cosmetics, a company that she started with her husband in their living room that has become the largest cosmetic companies in the United States, listen to this, worth over $1.2 billion.
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As the first female CEO under L'Oreal, she's an outspoken proponent of female leadership and professional empowerment.
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And if you don't already know her incredible story, you're in for a treat.
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 Jamie, welcome to On Purpose.
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Jay, thank you so much.
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I am so excited to be here.
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It's such an honor and I can't wait.
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SPEAKER_05
Thank you.
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This is so fun because I feel like I remember the journey when we started talking about your book and we started talking about what you'd accomplished and the incredible journey you've been on.
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Now, first of all, I think it's important to say, and I really mean this, even though you're a friend and
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 you know we live in a world where we're surrounded by people doing amazing things it is important to say that what you've done is truly historic like it is historical it's we shouldn't underestimate it we shouldn't just pass it off we live in a world today where you hear numbers all the time and everyone's like oh yeah this company did this and this what you've done is historic and i just want to take a moment to recognize that as your friend as an interviewer today and and for our audience
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 Because you're about everyone is listening right now and when you go out and get the book you'll you'll read about it you're hearing about a journey of someone who is the underdog.
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Someone who didn't have all the possibilities and access in the beginning but someone today is having such a big impact on people's lives so.
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 Jamie, today we're going to go through the journey in a different order.
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I want to start with what I saw the other day, because I really want to give testament to the book.
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I saw a video on your Instagram the other day where you were unboxing the book with your husband and your daughter.
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And it was a super emotional moment.
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Now, you've achieved a lot of things in life.
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Tell us why the book was so...
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 Deep and personal and meaningful after everything you've been through, you know, Jay I am I watched my daughter open the book and The thing that I felt my husband started crying and he never cries and he was crying You know, I think this is what it comes down to is, you know, when you google my story you see Oh Denny's waitress becomes billion-dollar entrepreneur and it seems like such a fairy tale and
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 And after years of having so many women DM me on Instagram saying like, oh, did you get lucky?
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Or, you know, I wish I had connections like you.
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I kind of realized that if we don't share the real stories behind the stories, like all the real stuff, then people feel alone in their own rejections or setbacks or, you know, self-doubt or not enoughness.
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And watching my daughter open the book was kind of my proudest moment because
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 This is the first time ever that I've ever just pulled back the curtain and said, here's what really happened.
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And here's how the first three years of constant rejections happened.
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And here's how I got through them.
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And here's the things I did wrong, the things I did right.
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At the end of the day, it's really
0
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 a story this book believe it is really a story about a girl who went from not believing in herself to believing in herself and not not trusting herself to then learning like how to how to get still and hear my own intuition and make the decision to trust it and how to kind of go from doubting I'm enough to knowing I'm enough and I think that
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 Why I got super emotional watching my daughter open it is because I realized, you know, this isn't just my story.
0
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It's a story of so many people out there right now on their own journey of like learning how to believe in themselves and trust themselves and know they're enough.
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SPEAKER_05
And so for me, it's the most meaningful work I've ever done in my life because it's, you know, it's not about me and it's just, I don't know, I'm just, I'm honored.
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I think every one of us, and you are a testament to this.
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SPEAKER_05
Oh my goodness, every one of us,
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 has a story to share that if we're, you know, courageous enough to share, it can really inspire everyone else on their own journey of like stepping into the person they're born to be.
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SPEAKER_05
So yeah, it was a really emotional moment and just proud for my daughter to see that.
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I want her to grow up and not doubt herself the way I did for many, many years and, and to, you know, learn to believe in herself too.
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SPEAKER_05
And I'm just honored to have learned a ton of lessons that I can hopefully share with her and so many other people.
0
SPEAKER_01
 Yeah, I'm glad you're doing that.
0
SPEAKER_01
What I love about this conversation already is everything you're saying is exactly what 99% of our listeners, our community, me a few years ago before I got started, this is the emotion, that feeling we all had.
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We doubted ourselves,
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 We were negative about ourselves.
0
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We thought that someone else got lucky.
0
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We thought someone else just had it handed to them, and so we judged them, or we had a different perception.
0
SPEAKER_01
But tell me about a time, or their times, when you felt you underestimated yourself.
0
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 Because I think we've all been underestimated by people.
0
SPEAKER_01
And you put up a quote the other day on Twitter that I loved.
0
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You said, you might be tempted to underestimate me, but let me save you some time.
0
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Don't.
0
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And I love that.
0
SPEAKER_01
I was laughing when I read that.
0
SPEAKER_01
But I know you, and I've spent time with you.
0
SPEAKER_01
 And you speak about in the book times where you underestimated and doubted yourself.
0
SPEAKER_01
Tell us about what that really feels like, because I think people forget when they see you today, they'll be like, oh, she's probably been confident her whole life.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I know as your friend and someone that you've been vulnerable with, that's not true.
0
SPEAKER_01
And so I'd love for you to share a bit about that.
0
SPEAKER_05
 Yeah, so many stories Jay and this is something I think to for anyone listening right now who's struggling with self doubt and who like knows they're made for more but still doubt themselves anyway.
0
SPEAKER_05
I think it's a lifelong journey for all of us right it's something that even to this day.
0
SPEAKER_05
 There'll still be days where, you know, maybe a friend I was counting on, like didn't show up for me the way I thought they would.
0
SPEAKER_05
And I start in it, A, it hurts my feelings.
0
SPEAKER_05
And then B, I go right back.
0
SPEAKER_05
I'm like, okay, let me get, let me get over that.
0
SPEAKER_05
There's so many moments.
0
SPEAKER_05
And I think us learning how to handle those moments and, and, uh, is key to everything.
0
SPEAKER_05
Cause I think self doubt like kills more dreams than almost anything else.
0
SPEAKER_05
 you know, one big moment that stands out to me and there's so many that I share in the book because I really want to share how I navigated things the right way and how I did it the wrong way and everything I've learned.
0
SPEAKER_05
But, you know, I remember, you know, a few years.
0
SPEAKER_05
Well, actually, let me tell you a different one.
0
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So I knew ever since I was a little girl and sitting in my living
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 room.
0
SPEAKER_05
I always, I would watch Oprah every single day.
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And I always thought, Oh, you know, one day I'm going to grow up and I'm going to interview other people.
0
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Like I want to share their stories with the world.
0
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I knew I was going to do that my whole life.
0
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I just knew.
0
SPEAKER_05
And I was finally working in my dream job, uh, in my twenties and, uh, and thirties as a news anchor telling other people's stories.
0
SPEAKER_05
And I thought like, Oh,
0
SPEAKER_05
 And I started, I went through this big season, this setback where I got a hereditary skin condition called rosacea and there's no cure for it.
0
SPEAKER_05
And I would be live anchoring the news and I would hear my earpiece from the producer.
0
SPEAKER_05
There's something on your face.
0
SPEAKER_05
There's something on your face.
0
SPEAKER_05
You know, can you wipe it off?
0
SPEAKER_05
Can you wipe it off?
0
SPEAKER_05
And they, they were having my back.
0
SPEAKER_05
Like they were, they were great, but I knew
0
SPEAKER_05
 there wasn't anything I could wipe off.
0
SPEAKER_05
I knew it was that this bright red, cause my skin would get bright red, all bumpy and like sandpaper texture.
0
SPEAKER_05
I knew I couldn't wipe it off.
0
SPEAKER_05
I knew it was the makeup breaking up under the hot lights.
0
SPEAKER_05
And so I went through this season of just trying to find every product out there that, you know, and nothing would work for me.
0
SPEAKER_05
And I thought that I was in the season of setback in my life.
0
SPEAKER_05
And
0
SPEAKER_05
 What I'd later learn is our setbacks are often our setups for something that we're supposed to do next on our own calling and our own purpose in life.
0
SPEAKER_05
But at the time I was in the season of self-doubt where my inner critic was really getting loud and taking over.
0
SPEAKER_05
And there'd be so many times I would be live on television and I'd be thinking thoughts like, are viewers changing the channel?
0
SPEAKER_05
Am I gonna get fired?
0
SPEAKER_05
 And I went through this big season of self-doubt and then I had this, you know, moment one day, this really strong gut feeling where I was like, wait a minute, if I can create a product that actually solves my own problems, I bet you there's so many other people out there
0
SPEAKER_05
 that like me their whole life they've seen these these beauty commercials on tv or magazines that show perfect skin they've never seen anyone that looks like them uh and i always aspire to look like those ads they always kind of made me feel like i wasn't enough deep down inside but i i realized wait i've never seen anyone that has a skin challenge if i can create a product that works for me i bet it's going to help so many other people
0
SPEAKER_05
 And, and then I had this wild, crazy, God says dream.
0
SPEAKER_05
I was like, what if I just redefined beauty and the whole beauty industry?
0
SPEAKER_05
What if I'm sitting there, right?
0
SPEAKER_05
As a broke news anchor, cause you don't get paid much to all in journalism.
0
SPEAKER_05
I'm sitting there, I'm like, if I launch a product that works, what if I put real women, every age and shape and size and, and, and gender identity, everything?
0
SPEAKER_05
What if I, you know, and, and I call them beautiful and authentically mean it.
0
SPEAKER_05
And that's who I use as models.
0
SPEAKER_05
And I had this whole big dream.
0
SPEAKER_05
 Meanwhile, I'm sitting there knowing nothing about the beauty industry, having no connections, but just had this gut feeling.
0
SPEAKER_05
And when I look back on my journey now, and that was 10 years ago, when I look back at my journey over everything that's happened, I have done so many things wrong, but I think one of the biggest defining moments, and I share all the mistakes in the book too, but one of the biggest defining moments
0
SPEAKER_05
 And one of the things I did right was when I, when I would get a strong gut feeling, like I decided to trust myself and it changed everything.
0
SPEAKER_05
It doesn't mean it was easy.
0
SPEAKER_05
It was a hard, a hard journey after that, but it was a moment too, Jay, where I, cause I really thought I was in my dream job.
0
SPEAKER_05
 But I also had this big moment come over me where I realized like, oh, the victory isn't in just not quitting, right?
0
SPEAKER_05
We're always told like, don't quit, don't give up.
0
SPEAKER_05
I feel like the victory is in us knowing when to let go of a dream, right?
0
SPEAKER_05
I think that's as important as knowing when to go after one.
0
SPEAKER_05
And it was this moment where even though I thought I was where I was supposed to be, I all of a sudden felt like I wasn't.
0
SPEAKER_05
And I was supposed to take this next leap and I decided to trust it.
0
SPEAKER_05
 and become an entrepreneur.
0
SPEAKER_05
And that was crazy.
0
SPEAKER_01
I love that story.
0
SPEAKER_01
Thank you for sharing that.
0
SPEAKER_01
Because I think when you think about that, like being on broadcast television, talking to so many people and then to have someone whisper in your ear, there's something in your face.
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, like that is, you know, that's scary.
0
SPEAKER_01
Like that's, that's really scary.
0
SPEAKER_01
Tell me about how it, how you even got there because I feel like there's even a layer before that.
0
SPEAKER_01
 that when you had the confidence to be on TV and that was a dream that you had watching Oprah, tell us about the period even before that.
0
SPEAKER_01
Maybe it was in your teenage years as a young girl.
0
SPEAKER_01
What were the doubts and the underestimations you had in even to get to that stage of being on TV?
0
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, I think that, you know, being a person who is kind, and I think maybe you can relate to this, I think whenever you're kind, people underestimate you just right off the bat.
0
SPEAKER_05
 and uh and and so that's been something that you know is important to know i think your whole life but you know i am i was always underestimated for that but i i also always had this kind of internal knowing i'm actually curious if you've had this um but you can tell i want to interview other people that's not happening today it's i'm not letting you i'm not letting you okay one
0
SPEAKER_05
 One question, because maybe your listeners can relate to this or maybe even remember this moment.
0
SPEAKER_05
But I was nine years old when this happened.
0
SPEAKER_05
And I remember watching Oprah on television.
0
SPEAKER_05
And Barbara Walters said to her, asked her a question in an interview.
0
SPEAKER_05
And Oprah said, I always knew I was destined for greatness her whole life.
0
SPEAKER_05
She always knew this.
0
SPEAKER_05
And I remember at the time, this made the press everywhere.
0
SPEAKER_05
And people started kind of like hating on her for saying this.
0
SPEAKER_05
I think people weren't used to
0
SPEAKER_05
 In particular, a woman being so bold to say something like that.
0
SPEAKER_05
But I remember being a nine-year-old little girl.
0
SPEAKER_05
And even though, you know, and I think we all deal with underestimation, I also remember having this feeling when Oprah said that, when Oprah said, I've always known I was destined for greatness.
0
SPEAKER_05
I remember sitting there as a little girl going, me too, me too.
0
SPEAKER_05
And I would literally see what's possible through her sharing her own story and her sharing her own vulnerabilities.
0
SPEAKER_05
 And that's a big reason I wrote this book too.
0
SPEAKER_05
But that's, this will be my, I'll try to make this my only question for you.
0
SPEAKER_05
Like, because look at everything you are doing and looking at how you are helping to heal humanity through love and look at the millions of people you're impacting.
0
SPEAKER_05
Like, have you always had that feeling as well?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it's a really good question actually.
0
SPEAKER_01
And this is why you are a great interviewer.
0
SPEAKER_01
I don't think I've ever been asked that question before.
0
SPEAKER_01
 So when you were watching Oprah, and I grew up watching Oprah too, but I think the first person that had a big impact on me through their media was Eminem.
0
SPEAKER_01
So I grew up as a teenager listening to Eminem.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I would not just listen to his music, I would watch his interviews, I would watch his early videos.
0
SPEAKER_01
 And I think I learned so much about resilience and opportunity from his story.
0
SPEAKER_01
And he had so many famous songs, which would have so many lines about taking your shot, taking your opportunity.
0
SPEAKER_01
And so I don't think I ever believed any of what I am able and blessed to do today was possible.
0
SPEAKER_01
I don't think I did, because I didn't know anyone who'd done it.
0
SPEAKER_01
I wasn't exposed to the media industry.
0
SPEAKER_01
I wasn't around people like that.
0
SPEAKER_01
But I always knew that I had to try.
0
SPEAKER_01
 And so I was very much convinced that I could try and that I had to put myself out there and I had to take opportunities and I had to give things a go, but I never was aware of the result.
0
SPEAKER_01
I never really believed that the result was mine.
0
SPEAKER_01
I just knew that if I listened to what Eminem said that it might happen because he had this belief set.
0
SPEAKER_01
And so when you ask me that question, I know exactly what you mean.
0
SPEAKER_01
 And it's lovely hearing you say that.
0
SPEAKER_01
I think we should celebrate that because we would all want our children to say, oh, mom, dad, I want to go and help people.
0
SPEAKER_01
I want to go and serve people.
0
SPEAKER_01
You're not celebrating even your work.
0
SPEAKER_01
It's not just celebrating the success of a makeup company.
0
SPEAKER_01
You're celebrating the success of you wanting to help people
0
SPEAKER_01
 with a real challenge, with real confidence.
0
SPEAKER_01
There's so much depth to that.
0
SPEAKER_01
So your first chapter is called, when your intuition talks to you, believe it.
0
SPEAKER_01
How do you know you're hearing your intuition?
0
SPEAKER_01
Because I feel that for so many people today, it's got so quiet.
0
SPEAKER_01
 And you're mainly hearing just noise and your parents and your family.
0
SPEAKER_01
Like, how do you know when you know it's like, oh, that's my intuition.
0
SPEAKER_01
How do you know?
0
SPEAKER_09
When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it's powerful.
0
SPEAKER_08
That's where the bright side comes in.
0
SPEAKER_08
A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that's bringing you a daily dose of joy.
0
SPEAKER_08
 I'm Danielle Robay.
0
SPEAKER_08
And I'm Simone Boyce.
0
SPEAKER_09
Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters.
0
SPEAKER_09
We've covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy, but the Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new and get into some friendly debates.
0
SPEAKER_08
 That's right.
0
SPEAKER_08
Join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side.
0
SPEAKER_08
We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts and listeners like you, whether it's relationships, friend advice or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions.
0
SPEAKER_09
We'll talk through it all together.
0
SPEAKER_08
Listen to the bright side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
0
SPEAKER_00
 A new season of Bridgerton is here.
0
SPEAKER_00
And with it, a new season of Bridgerton, the official podcast.
0
SPEAKER_00
I'm your host, Gabrielle Collins.
0
SPEAKER_00
And this season, we are bringing fans even deeper into the ton.
0
SPEAKER_00
Colin Bridgerton has returned from his travels abroad.
0
SPEAKER_00
Is Betrothal written in the stars for the eligible bachelor?
0
SPEAKER_00
 Meanwhile, the ton is reverberating with speculation of who holds Lady Whistledown's pen.
0
SPEAKER_00
We're discussing it all.
0
SPEAKER_00
I sit down with Nicola Coughlin, Luke Newton, Shonda Rhimes, and more to offer an exclusive peek behind the scenes of each episode of the new season.
0
SPEAKER_00
 Watch season three of the Shondaland series on Netflix.
0
SPEAKER_00
Then fall in love all over again by listening to Bridgerton, the official podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
0
SPEAKER_00
Subscribe to catch a new episode every Thursday.
0
SPEAKER_06
 Parents, ready to discover a new educational and interactive podcast for kids?
0
SPEAKER_06
Join Stories for Kids by Lingokids, where episodes are packed with fun activities.
0
SPEAKER_06
Right, Elliot?
0
SPEAKER_07
Oh, yes!
0
SPEAKER_07
We learned how to recycle at the beach.
0
SPEAKER_07
 That was great fun!
0
SPEAKER_07
Cowie, what do you say?
0
SPEAKER_07
It was!
0
SPEAKER_07
And that time when we did the science experiments and Billy made raisins dance!
0
SPEAKER_07
That is so cool, Billy!
0
SPEAKER_06
He did!
0
SPEAKER_06
Not to mention when a certain Elliot took up swimming classes with Lisa.
0
SPEAKER_06
 That was me!
0
SPEAKER_06
Bet you can't catch me.
0
SPEAKER_06
I'm going to get you!
0
SPEAKER_06
All this fun and more in our Stories for Kids.
0
SPEAKER_06
Lingo Kids' Stories for Kids is now available on Story Button, the kid-friendly device for screenless podcast listening.
0
SPEAKER_06
Listen to Stories for Kids on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
0
SPEAKER_05
 Yeah, I'll ask you later if you bleached your hair like Eminem and if you were Slim Shady and went through that whole phase.
0
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We'll have a convo offline.
0
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But I love that he was someone in your life that you turned the volume up on and were inspired by it.
0
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I think that's huge.
0
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 Yeah, you know, intuition, when your intuition talks, you believe it.
0
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Like I have learned, Jay, like time and time again.
0
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And I believe, by the way, every one of us has an intuition and a knowing.
0
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And I believe that our knowing is always right.
0
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 And I think that exactly to your point, I think all of the noise of everything around us, of self-doubt, of our inner critic, of our friends and family who love us, but don't get our dreams or our hopes, because they're seeing it through the lens of their own fear or their own experiences.
0
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And all of that can become so loud that it's like this huge barrier almost of self-doubt
0
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 It reminds me of like when you're on a flight and you see all these clouds below you it's like we're walking through life with all these clouds of self doubt and sometimes it's so hard to like penetrate through them and hear our own our own gut and our own internal knowing and I think a lot of people.
0
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 have lost touch with it and haven't heard it for a long time.
0
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Yeah, but I think it's a lifelong journey.
0
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And I think it takes a lot of practice.
0
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And I also think it takes a lot of grace that we give ourselves, right?
0
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Because a lot of times we'll think, oh, I trusted my gut, but it was wrong.
0
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And all these things like, what do I do?
0
SPEAKER_05
And I think that it takes literally a lot of practice and it takes building that muscle and getting still and learning to hear your own truth.
0
SPEAKER_05
 And I'm sure that, you know, through all of your teachings of meditation, you probably hear from people all the time, like, Oh, Jay, I try to meditate, but all I do is go through my to do list in my own head or all those things, right?
0
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It takes time and, and you have to give yourself grace in it.
0
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And, you know, an example of how I started building this, this intuition muscle also is looking back at experiences, right?
0
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Like everyone listening right now can probably think of a time.
0
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 that they trusted their gut, they trusted themselves, and it was right.
0
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Or they can probably think of a time when, oh, I had this gut feeling that this person I was dating was super sketchy, but I didn't listen to that gut feeling, and I was like, I should have.
0
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We all kind of can look back and build this muscle.
0
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 A big powerful story that happened to me that I think is a universal story because so many of us go through different variations of someone else telling us we're not enough or someone else telling us we're not the right fit or someone else.
0
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 telling us we're not qualified, right?
0
SPEAKER_05
And sometimes it's ourselves telling ourselves that too.
0
SPEAKER_05
But, you know, there was a moment where, you know, after I decided to take this big leap as an entrepreneur and quit my job and, you know, wrote the business plan on my honeymoon flight to South Africa with my husband, got back and went all in.
0
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And I just thought, Jay, I thought, oh,
0
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 If I can just create a product and it's amazing and it works, like it's just going to sell.
0
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Thank goodness.
0
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I didn't know how hard it was going to be to be an entrepreneur, or I may have second guessed myself, but you know, we poured every penny we had into creating a product and hiring the advisory board.
0
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And, and then when I wasn't anticipating was from the moment we launched the brand.
0
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And from the moment we had a product that I was like, Oh, this is life changing.
0
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 and it works, it would be three years before we could afford to pay ourselves.
0
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And all of the beauty retailers that I had put on pedestals that I love, like I would save my tip money as a Denny's waitress to buy a Mac lipstick or a Lancome Island, go into all the big department stores all over the world.
0
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You know, like I loved, I loved it.
0
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And so I had always held these amazing retailers on this pedestal.
0
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And now I'm sitting there with my own company thinking like, oh, the product works.
0
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They're going to love it.
0
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 And every time I would send my product to all the department stores, the beauty retailers, QVC, everywhere, they all said, no, unanimously, no, you're not the right fit.
0
SPEAKER_05
Your packaging's not nice enough.
0
SPEAKER_05
And this went on and on and on.
0
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And about two years into it, and we were staying alive, by the way, selling about two to three orders a day on our website.
0
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And that was it.
0
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And about two, a little over two years into the company, I got a phone call from a potential investor.
0
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And I was like,
0
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 And I was so excited because I thought, oh my gosh.
0
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And this was a big private equity company that has invested in a bunch of the consumer product companies that we all buy in grocery stores.
0
SPEAKER_05
And they've invested often in pre-revenue and made them big household names.
0
SPEAKER_05
And I thought, oh gosh, if they invest in a cosmetics, like A, I'm not going to go bankrupt.
0
SPEAKER_05
And B, they're going to help, like maybe they'll use their leverage to get me into these stores that keep telling me no.
0
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So Jay, I was so excited.
0
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I thought this was going to be,
0
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 life-changing and I we started doing meetings with them and then entered the diligence phase and they loved our product uh and uh and and diligence phase meaning like we showed them product pipelines and future projections and all the stuff and it got down to the final meeting and my husband and I flew up for the meeting and I'll never forget this moment um because it's literally a moment that's
0
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 etched so deeply when I think about how I built my, my muscle of intuition.
0
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Uh, but we were, we were there for the final meeting and I just thought it was going to be life changing.
0
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And I was standing there about three feet from the head guy and he was super nice.
0
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And he was like, listen, we're, you know, we love your product.
0
SPEAKER_05
We want to wish you the best of luck, but it's a no, uh, we're going to pass on investing in cosmetics.
0
SPEAKER_05
And I was like,
0
SPEAKER_05
 Okay.
0
SPEAKER_05
Um, and I'm so used to hearing no at this point.
0
SPEAKER_05
Right.
0
SPEAKER_05
And I'm like, okay, can you tell me why?
0
SPEAKER_05
Um, because feedback's usually a gift.
0
SPEAKER_05
Um, can you tell me why?
0
SPEAKER_05
And he, he was not three feet from me face to face.
0
SPEAKER_05
And he says, do you want me to be honest with you?
0
SPEAKER_05
And I said, yes, please.
0
SPEAKER_05
And he says, I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you, um, with your body and your weight.
0
SPEAKER_05
 And I remember in this moment, wow, two things.
0
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, two things happened.
0
SPEAKER_05
So I remember feeling like physically feeling this, like feeling through my body of like a lifetime of body doubt, just like flooding my body.
0
SPEAKER_05
And I remember looking at him.
1
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 literally felt no anger at all.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it's obviously super hurt.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was watching the words come out of his mouth and literally I had this feeling like this deep feeling that he's wrong.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I remember this feeling like it was yesterday.
1
SPEAKER_01
It was like literally in the pit of my stomach.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like it was like this, this knowing he's wrong, but I also knew I had no proof he's wrong.
1
SPEAKER_01
His words hurt
1
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 I went out to the car and cried my eyes out.
1
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And I had to do a lot of work to like turn down the volume on those words, not repeat them over and over for years.
1
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But I just felt like he was wrong.
1
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And the other thing I felt Jay was, it's weird.
1
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The one thing too, that, you know, when I look at the things I've done right to how to build this billion dollar company,
1
SPEAKER_01
 I never took the rejection personally, even when it hurt.
1
SPEAKER_01
And there was hundreds of rejections, but like in the case of this guy, when you said those words, I realized after I had a moment, you know, to process them, he was just as much impacted by a lifetime of the beauty industry as I was.
1
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And to the point where he thought, Oh, if you don't look a certain way, I can't make money off you.
1
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So his words, and in a way we're just,
1
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 confirmation of why I needed to keep going because things needed to change.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I share so much more about this, but six years later, six years later, when L'Oreal acquired the company that I started in my living room, they acquired it for $1.2 billion cash and it was
1
SPEAKER_01
 all over the, they released this right in a press release, which I didn't know they were going to do until the day before.
1
SPEAKER_01
And that day it was all over the, it was the homepage of the wall street journal everywhere.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I got an email from that investor and I hadn't heard from him in six years.
1
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And I got an email from him.
1
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Uh, and he said, congratulations on the L'Oreal deal.
1
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I'm so happy for you.
1
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I was wrong.
1
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 And I learned it would have been the most successful investment in this firm's history.
1
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And, um, the other thing that I, that I just want to share, um, cause I think this is powerful because I think so many people, especially listening to us, watching us right now are coming out of a really hard year and the year of things not making sense and the year.
1
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And sometimes, you know, people are just in a season or a moment of rejection or setback.
1
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There's a really famous quote that says rejection is God's protection.
1
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 And I think this applies to every faith.
1
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A lot of people will replace it with the rejection as the universe's protection.
1
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And it's wild, because when I look back at so many rejections that I've gone through, and I just feel like someone might need to hear that today, right?
1
SPEAKER_01
Because it's like, I look back, and even when they didn't make sense at the time, and even when I thought, there's no way this is meant to be, or all those things, like this just hurts, or it feels unfair, or personal.
1
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I look back, and it's like, wow.
1
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 I'm so grateful for the hardship or the setback because years later, sometimes, and sometimes it takes years till we see like, oh, I'm in the place I'm supposed to be.
1
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I was, you know, that rejections God's protection.
1
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But in this case, Jay, at the time that he said those words to me.
1
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 I was so desperate.
1
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I didn't know how we were going to stay alive as a company.
1
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I would have probably given him the majority of the company for almost no money.
1
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And because he didn't believe in me, and because of that rejection, and then a lot of others as well on the way, and other people that did believe in us for sure, but because that guy didn't believe in me, by the time we did sell our business to L'Oreal, we were still the largest shareholders.
1
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 So it's like, wow.
1
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I always thank God, not just for the open doors, but for the closed doors and just having that trust in it.
1
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Right.
1
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Absolutely.
1
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I loved every bit of what you just shared because I think that's the reality of it.
1
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And, you know, obviously you've only told us about one of the bigger rejections and the book goes into detail on all of the,
1
SPEAKER_00
 The smaller rejections, the quick rejections, I mean, the idea of that you were patient, that you didn't pay yourself for three years.
1
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There's so much patience involved.
1
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There's so much resilience and adapting and going at it again.
1
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And you're getting so much negative feedback from even people of influence.
1
SPEAKER_00
 And I can relate to all of those in my own personal life and my journey.
1
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There's so many parallels that I'm like, oh, I remember exactly the executive that I had a similar run-in with.
1
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And so what I'm fascinated by, though, is how much have you found that building something successful
1
SPEAKER_00
 What percentage or what ratio is it mindset versus the actual skill of business and product that you're doing?
1
SPEAKER_00
Like if you had to divide it, where would someone like you divide it?
1
SPEAKER_00
How much of this was you having to learn packaging, learn sales, learn spreadsheets, learn growth versus how much of this was you being adaptable, being persistent, being resilient and relentless in that pursuit?
1
SPEAKER_00
Tell us a bit about that journey of both of those.
1
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 Yeah, I mean, gosh, if I had to answer that just right off the fly, I would say 80 or 90% mindset.
1
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Wow.
1
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I really believe, and now in this journey, you know, now having the blessing of meeting thousands of entrepreneurs and just seeing the ones that make it and the ones that don't and the ones that build things or even just human beings and the ones that go after their goals and things like that and step into all of who they are versus kind of like,
1
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 stay in their comfort zone and talk themselves out of their own truth.
1
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I really believe, I truly believe where you come from doesn't determine where you're going.
1
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I believe that we all tell ourselves these lies like, oh, you know, I don't have the right connections.
1
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I don't come from the right family or I am not qualified.
1
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I'm not smart and all those things.
1
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 I don't believe that.
1
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I think that people that change the world, right, are actually, famous Steve Jobs commercial, and it's Jack, oh my gosh, Jack Kyrstak, I'm trying to remember his last name, that said these words, but it's like, the people that are, in his words, the people that are crazy enough to believe they can change the world are the ones who do.
1
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It's not the people who are smart enough change the world.
1
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It's not the people who are, right, and it's like,
1
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 Look at you having, and you're brilliant, but having a vision to take, to make wisdom go viral.
1
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It's like you had the guts to go for it.
1
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You know what I mean?
1
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You had the guts to believe you can.
1
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And it's like, there's so many stories I share in this book where, oh my gosh, I was not by any stretch of the imagination, the most qualified person in the room.
1
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And I was not the most experienced in all those things.
1
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But so many times I just made the decision to believe that I could.
1
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 And sometimes that's what it comes down to.
1
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And I also feel like I've learned a lot of powerful lessons along the way as well that have become freeing.
1
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, I heard you share a quote.
1
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You'll know where this is from.
1
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You shared where it's from too, but that you can't be anything
1
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 you want, but you can be everything you are.
1
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Will you share that really fast again?
1
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Yeah, no, that's it.
1
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I talk about it in my book.
1
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I talk about how we've been told two lies since we were young.
1
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And the two lies are, the first one is, you can be anything you want.
1
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 And I do think that there's a lie in that because I think you have a unique journey and you're not meant to be anything.
1
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And the second lie that we've all been told is you'll be nothing.
1
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You won't make it.
1
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You're insignificant.
1
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You're irrelevant.
1
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It won't work.
1
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 And that's where I say that you can't be anything you want, but you can be everything you are, because what you are is, and that's your story, what you just said now, the idea that this person said to you, like, oh, people are not going to buy makeup from someone who looks like you.
1
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I mean, that's one of the worst things I've ever heard anyone say.
1
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That sounds terrible, but the idea is that
1
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 you became who you were meant to be and I think that stops you from the idea of envy and comparison and all of that but oh you're gone gone that's so huge that's so huge and just to add one thing to that um so I'm gonna get so fired up right now because I just know I know someone needs to hear this right now who's going through this because we're in this world of social media where we're like oh it's so tempting to compare ourselves or to get distracted or to feel
1
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 Less than or to see someone else's highlight reel and think we should change who we are and there's two big things that happened Jay in this journey and and one of them was after three years of hearing know we finally got a yes.
1
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 to get one shot on QVC, right?
1
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One shot.
1
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And QVC is a live TV shopping channel.
1
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So in the U.S., they're broadcast to 100 million homes live, and there's no script.
1
SPEAKER_01
And every company from Apple, iPhone, to Dyson, Vacuum, Vitamix, they all sell their product there.
1
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And I had learned, oh, you can sell more product in an hour on QVC than in a whole year in department stores.
1
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I'm like, oh my gosh.
1
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And my whole thing was like, well, if I get this shot, if I can ever get on QVC,
1
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 Like, let me, you know, let me take this huge risk of instead of showing models a perfect skin, let me actually prove that I made a product that works for everyone.
1
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And like, I had this vision of what if I just take my makeup off and show my bright red rosacea?
1
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And what if I put women of all ages and sizes and shapes and skin tones and skin challenges, like as models and show live how the product works.
1
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I had this whole vision yet for three years, they said, no, every time.
1
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And by the way, that's another example of my gut.
1
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 kept saying you're supposed to be on QVC and for three years they said no and I think when these things happen to us in our life when we have a gut feeling but then like oh it must have been wrong if you still feel in your gut it's right it's right and you're supposed to keep going learning to look back on those moments I think is how we build our muscle and you know we so we finally get this yes and this one shot on QVC and
1
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 It's a long story.
1
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I go into detail in the book on how it happened and what happened and all that.
1
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But just to share one tiny piece of it, we learned that in this one shot I was going to get in this 10-minute window on live TV, I would need to sell over 6,000 units of our concealer in this 10-minute window to hit the sales goal or not come back.
1
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 And we were only doing two to three orders a day on our website.
1
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And so we didn't even have enough money to manufacture the product, get it in there.
1
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So we applied for 22 SBA loans.
1
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The 23rd bank, tiny bank in California said yes.
1
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 just to covering the money to get this one order off to QVC and it was consignment.
1
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So what that meant was in this 10 minute window, right?
1
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I get this one shot on national television after three years of now.
1
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And if we didn't hit the sales goal, whatever product didn't sell, they would ship back to us and we wouldn't be paid for it, right?
1
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As a consignment deal.
1
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 And so you really shouldn't take this risk as an entrepreneur, but we were to the point where it was like, it was this, I didn't exactly.
1
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And so I thought, okay, we have a 10 minute window.
1
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And I had this whole thought of what I was going to do.
1
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And we use some of the loan money to hire third party consultants that help so many people sell their product on TV.
1
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And they really truly do help so many people.
1
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 And then I was faced with this dilemma though, because what they all told me was, okay, Jamie, like if you want a shot at succeeding, which most people fail on QVC after one chance, if you want a shot at succeeding, here's what you need to do.
1
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And they told me exactly what to do, which was to cast all models that were in their early twenties, you know, perfect skin.
1
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And I'm like,
1
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 Okay, but that's not why I made this business.
1
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And that's not why I made this product.
1
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And you can't fake authenticity.
1
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So if I go out there live on TV, and I'm like, you know, it's not, it'll create a barrier disconnection between the customer.
1
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 So I knew all those things, Jay, yet I was like, oh my gosh, I get one shot.
1
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What do I do?
1
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And I couldn't try it both ways.
1
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And I flew out to QVC a week early before this one shot on air.
1
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And they're in Pennsylvania.
1
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So they're about 30 minutes west of Philly.
1
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 And I sat in this rental car all alone in the QVC parking lot, which sounds creepy now, cause I've now been in the parking lot thousands of times, but this was before I ever got a first shot.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I sat there in the parking lot, uh, staring at the front door, no, like watching people in and out all day for a week straight.
1
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And I sat there in that car, like praying, crying, feeling like, you know, because I think all of us go through these moments where we believe in our values, but then they get challenged.
1
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 And I just remember, honestly, at times being like, well, maybe if I try it their way and then I get success and then I build, maybe then I'll try it my way.
1
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That's authentic.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like I had all those thoughts, right?
1
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Of self doubt, like enter my head, challenge my values.
1
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And I'll never forget, there was one moment in that car where I just imagined like, okay, if I have one shot,
1
SPEAKER_01
 What do I want to stand for, at the end of the day, and I imagine like who that person was turning on their television and I don't know why but I kept imagining like a single mom folding laundry who had like forgotten, like was too busy to remember that she mattered and that she's beautiful.
1
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 And I had this crystal clear moment of intuition where I just realized, like, I'd rather, she's going to bless me with two seconds of her precious time.
1
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I'd rather have her look up on her television and see me showing women who look like her, calling them beautiful, meaning it.
1
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Like I'd rather have her see that and be reminded of her own beauty and have her not buy anything.
1
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I'd rather that happen than me like sell a ton of products and stand for nothing.
1
SPEAKER_01
 So I knew what I had to do.
1
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And I knew for me, it was like, how do I try and stand for something for every little kid out there who's about to see these images and start doubting themselves and every grown person who still does.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I just knew what I had to do, but honestly, it was really scary.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I remember walking into the studio for this one shot, this 10 minute window.
1
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And Jay, you'll totally understand the setup, but there is cameras everywhere, a big time clock on the floor at 10 minutes.
1
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It was set for 10 minutes.
1
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 And I knew once the host came to my set.
1
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 Uh, cause everything's so quick in real time.
1
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Like they'll go from Dyson vacuum to, you know what I mean?
1
SPEAKER_01
So once she came to my set and that clock started, we would be live to a hundred million homes.
1
SPEAKER_01
I would get one shot and I learned, which is really fun.
1
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I learned, Oh, if you're not selling, hitting your goal a minute or two in, they'll actually cut your time.
1
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Like you can be at eight minutes left and jump to two minutes left and you know, Oh, it's not going well.
1
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And if you try to sell nothing sells.
1
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So,
1
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 I was freaking out and you know you talk a lot about this and about vision and about mission about purpose and those words of wisdom that are so powerful that you share are what helped save me those ideas are what helped save me in this moment and what I mean by that is in this like
1
SPEAKER_01
 10-minute segment as we're about to go live and I see the clock and it's like 9.59, 9.58 and I'm live, I would go into the space of, is my dress too tight?
1
SPEAKER_01
I felt the sweat dripping down and I'm like, wait, wait, wait, in my head, okay, if I make this about me,
1
SPEAKER_01
 in this moment, I'm done.
1
SPEAKER_01
I had to, in that moment, with so much pressure, remember why am I doing this?
1
SPEAKER_01
I'm like, oh, it's way bigger than me.
1
SPEAKER_01
It's literally not about me.
1
SPEAKER_01
I remember the moment my bare face bright red rosacea came up on national television and I was literally shaking like a leaf.
1
SPEAKER_01
And from the pressure of just the moment,
1
SPEAKER_01
 And I remember going over to all the models, all the real women, all ages and skin tones and sizes and skin challenges like I have.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I'll never forget, there's about a minute left and the host, and I didn't know how it was going.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was freaking out.
1
SPEAKER_01
I knew that they hadn't cut my time yet.
1
SPEAKER_01
There was a minute left and the host says, the tan shade's almost sold out.
1
SPEAKER_01
The deep shade is down to, and I'm like, and shade started selling out.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I just literally, and then I remember the 10 minute mark hit and the big sold out sign came up across the screen.
1
SPEAKER_01
 And I started crying on national TV and my husband comes running through the double doors of the studio and I'm like, we don't want him to have spoken.
1
SPEAKER_01
And he's like, we're not going bankrupt.
1
SPEAKER_01
And you've met my husband, so you can probably imagine him doing that.
1
SPEAKER_01
He's like, we're not going bankrupt.
1
SPEAKER_01
And that one Aaron Jay, this is after three years of no, right?
1
SPEAKER_01
 one airing, which was September of 2010, turned into five airings and 101 airings the next year.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then I did 250 live shows a year for eight years.
1
SPEAKER_01
And we built the largest beauty brand in QVC's history.
1
SPEAKER_01
And it is right now, as you and I are talking, it is right now to this day.
1
SPEAKER_01
And the only reason I share that is because it was three years of no.
1
SPEAKER_01
And like,
1
SPEAKER_01
 Somebody in your audience needs to hear this today that like, no one can tell you you're not the right fit.
1
SPEAKER_01
No one can.
1
SPEAKER_01
And if you listen to your gut and you're knowing, it's not about selling a company for a billion dollars.
1
SPEAKER_01
It's not about selling out on QVC.
1
SPEAKER_01
It's about, oh, like you said, like, am I stepping into all of who I am?
1
SPEAKER_01
And am I trusting that?
1
SPEAKER_01
And those are the moments that change our life.
1
SPEAKER_02
 Hey everyone, this is Molly and Matt and we're the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.
1
SPEAKER_03
It's a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting.
1
SPEAKER_02
 like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.
1
SPEAKER_03
We're back with season two of the podcast, which means more opportunities to glow up and become a more responsible and better adult, one life lesson at a time.
1
SPEAKER_02
And let me just tell you, this show is just as much for us as it is for you.
1
SPEAKER_02
So let's figure this stuff out together.
1
SPEAKER_02
This season, we're going to talk about whether or not we're financially and emotionally ready for dog ownership.
1
SPEAKER_03
 We're going to figure out the benefits of a high yield savings account.
1
SPEAKER_02
And what exactly are the duties of being a member of the wedding party?
1
SPEAKER_03
All that plus so much more.
1
SPEAKER_02
Let's learn about all of it and then some.
1
SPEAKER_02
Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
1
SPEAKER_06
 When the Taliban banned music in Afghanistan, millions were plunged into silence.
1
SPEAKER_06
Radios were smashed.
1
SPEAKER_06
Cassettes burned.
1
SPEAKER_06
You could be beaten or jailed or killed for breaking the rules.
1
SPEAKER_06
And yet, Afghans did it anyway.
1
SPEAKER_06
This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.
1
SPEAKER_06
 The danger they endured.
1
SPEAKER_04
They said my head should be cut off.
1
SPEAKER_06
The joy they brought to the nation.
1
SPEAKER_02
You're free completely.
1
SPEAKER_06
No one is there to destroy you.
1
SPEAKER_06
I'm John Legend.
1
SPEAKER_06
Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
1
SPEAKER_05
 Guess what, Mango?
1
SPEAKER_05
What's that, Will?
1
SPEAKER_05
So iHeart is giving us a whole minute to promote our podcast, Part-Time Genius.
1
SPEAKER_04
I know, that's why I spent my whole week composing a haiku for the occasion.
1
SPEAKER_04
It's about my emotional journey in podcasting over the last seven years, and it's called Earthquake House.
1
SPEAKER_05
Mango, I'm going to cut you off right there.
1
SPEAKER_05
Why don't we just tell people about our show instead?
1
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, that's a better idea.
1
SPEAKER_04
So every week on Part-Time Genius, we feed our curiosity by answering the world's most important questions.
1
SPEAKER_04
Things like, when did America start dialing 911?
1
SPEAKER_04
 is William Shatner's best acting work in Esperanto.
1
SPEAKER_04
Also, what happened to Esperanto?
1
SPEAKER_05
Plus, we cover questions like how Chinese is your Chinese food?
1
SPEAKER_05
How do dollar stores stay in business?
1
SPEAKER_05
And of course, is there an Illuminati of cheese?
1
SPEAKER_05
There absolutely is.
1
SPEAKER_04
And we are risking our lives by talking about it.
1
SPEAKER_04
But if you love mind blowing facts, incredible history and really bad jokes, make your brains happy and tune into part time genius.
1
SPEAKER_05
 Listen to Part-Time Genius on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
1
SPEAKER_00
I know.
1
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I was literally with you when you were sharing that.
1
SPEAKER_00
And that's what I love about the storytelling in your book as well.
1
SPEAKER_00
It's like, I'm with you and I can feel it with you.
1
SPEAKER_00
And when you're talking about like whether you're sweating or whether you look like I'm with you and I can, I feel it all.
1
SPEAKER_00
I, you know what I love about what you've just shared.
1
SPEAKER_00
It convinces me and gives me more confidence in faith.
1
SPEAKER_00
 in the idea that purpose is the only thing that can let someone win.
1
SPEAKER_00
Because what you were just sharing with us is you had to make it not about you.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was about the people who are struggling with this skin condition.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was about the people that are not being welcomed onto ads and not welcomed into magazines and not welcomed because
1
SPEAKER_00
 of the judgment that society had at the time.
1
SPEAKER_00
And you were doing it before.
1
SPEAKER_00
I feel like a lot of these topics are being talked about today.
1
SPEAKER_00
This is what we're talking about is like 13 years ago, right?
1
SPEAKER_00
Like 13, 14 years ago.
1
SPEAKER_01
And it was like a several year journey to try and shift this to happen in the beauty space.
1
SPEAKER_01
And the thing that's so special
1
SPEAKER_01
 to share is we built to millions and millions of customers over a thousand employees, all of that.
1
SPEAKER_01
And like, I think it's like 95%, the last time I checked of our customers have no skin issues.
1
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
1
SPEAKER_01
95%, right?
1
SPEAKER_01
It's people that feel less alone and
1
SPEAKER_01
 more enough and more seen and are tired of seeing images that don't look like them.
1
SPEAKER_01
And don't just want to find great beauty makeup products.
1
SPEAKER_01
Cause actually it's not even why I created the brand.
1
SPEAKER_01
And even though I love our products, it's like, it's not like the brand I created it for to try and shift culture, even for women to be more confident on the days they don't even want to wear makeup.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know what I'm saying?
1
SPEAKER_01
And to feel just as beautiful.
1
SPEAKER_01
So it was like this way bigger, bigger thing.
1
SPEAKER_01
 Exactly what you said, I think is so true.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I, you know, one of the stories I talk about in the book is this experience I had with mean girls and dealing with that.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I actually never was bullied as a kid.
1
SPEAKER_01
And the first time I ever was bullied was in my thirties in the QVC green room.
1
SPEAKER_01
And it was like shocking because it was adult women.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I've never shared, I mean, 95% of the book I've never shared before, but I share these stories because
1
SPEAKER_01
 I just want everyone going through them to connect and to see like oh you know here's one idea of how to get through it and here's another perspective on it, and you know in this.
1
SPEAKER_01
 This story, I had friends I thought were my friends.
1
SPEAKER_01
And by the way, most of my close girlfriends have been my friends for like 20 years, and they are amazing.
1
SPEAKER_01
And they all have different faiths.
1
SPEAKER_01
They don't vote the same.
1
SPEAKER_01
They don't love the same, all the things.
1
SPEAKER_01
And they are amazing.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I'm blessed to have really great friends.
1
SPEAKER_01
But one thing I learned is, you know, when you start a new dream, not everyone's happy when you actually start to become successful.
1
SPEAKER_01
 I had this moment where I thought there's a couple, just a handful of women who I really thought were my friends.
1
SPEAKER_01
And when my brand started really taking off, they didn't like that.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I went through this season of bullying, which I go into in the book and I would like go out and leave a show after like selling all the sales pressure.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I'd leave a show and go sit in the car and cry for hours and then come back in and have another show and just trying to get through it and figuring it all out.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I had this big,
1
SPEAKER_01
 moment that was two big moments actually, Jay, that happened in the QVC green room that were life-changing.
1
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And I've now seen to be universal across thousands of entrepreneurs I've met and all the women I mentor now.
1
SPEAKER_01
Two big things happen in this journey of Mean Girls.
1
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I realized, oh my gosh, so many of us think it's easy to think that someone else's success
1
SPEAKER_01
 takes away from our own.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I don't believe that's true.
1
SPEAKER_01
And, uh, right.
1
SPEAKER_01
It's not true.
1
SPEAKER_01
And what I decided to do in this moment of getting bullying was not let it be a distraction, not actually even for a second think I'm competing with them.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I had this big aha moment where I realized
1
SPEAKER_01
 And I believe this to my core, none of us are here to compete with anyone else.
1
SPEAKER_01
I believe we're here to compete with the person we know we're born capable of becoming.
1
SPEAKER_01
And that person has nothing to do with anyone else.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like that's to your point, our own unique purpose, our own unique calling.
1
SPEAKER_01
 that's what I focused on.
1
SPEAKER_01
And even to this day, Jay, I know I'm nowhere near that person yet, who I'm capable of becoming, but I'm sure, you know, on my journey, but the thing that when I kept that as my focus, what ended up happening in these eight years I spent in the green room, I saw
1
SPEAKER_01
 thousands of entrepreneurs come and go.
1
SPEAKER_01
And when I look back at like, oh, what's the commonality with the ones that actually made it and the ones that built something that lasted or built something that matters.
1
SPEAKER_01
And to your question earlier, it's not how smart are they?
1
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How qualified are they?
1
SPEAKER_01
Right?
1
SPEAKER_01
It's literally this simple.
1
SPEAKER_01
This is what I've seen in thousands of entrepreneurs.
1
SPEAKER_01
The ones that were the same on air live
1
SPEAKER_01
 selling to customers, which is a form of connection, right?
1
SPEAKER_01
But as they are in the green room, the people that had that, that alignment were the same for better or worse.
1
SPEAKER_01
Some are quirky and crazy and funny and some are not very, but like the ones that were authentically themselves on camera, same as in the green room.
1
SPEAKER_01
 Those are the ones that last, right?
1
SPEAKER_01
And the whole idea, right?
1
SPEAKER_01
Cause you know, all of the research out there that you can't, like, it's impossible to have a real human connection unless you fully show up authentically as yourself.
1
SPEAKER_01
And so many people think, oh, I'm distracted by social media.
1
SPEAKER_01
I need to show up like somebody else, or this is working for someone else on their page or with their community.
1
SPEAKER_01
So let me try to show up that way.
1
SPEAKER_01
Cause then I'll get more followers or like, or let me show up this way in the dating world, whatever it is.
1
SPEAKER_01
 we're literally putting a barrier up of disconnection when we show up as our representative.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I watched this happen thousands of times where someone would be super, you know, whatever in the green room, amazing, funny, happy, sad, introverted, whatever it is.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then they go on air and they're their representative and you can't fake authenticity.
1
SPEAKER_01
And it's the most freeing lesson in the world because
1
SPEAKER_01
 It's so much pressure when you think you have to change who you are or be more like someone else or hide the parts of you that you feel like our past mistakes or are embarrassing or anything else and
1
SPEAKER_01
 It's like, oh no, the power is, and the freedom, and the freedom is in realizing, oh my gosh, when I fully, like fully show up as who I am for better or worse, that's your superpower.
1
SPEAKER_01
And that's when people actually authentically connect with you, whether it's customers or your community online.
1
SPEAKER_01
 And I feel like when people get that it's the most freeing thing in the world because it doesn't matter what someone else is doing on social media or this or that it's like all that matters is you like fully showing up as who you are and it's it's really and I talk a lot about this in the book this idea that like authenticity alone doesn't guarantee success but inauthenticity guarantees failure and I've just seen it now thousands of times and I just think it's
1
SPEAKER_01
 one of the most freeing things to learn.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I think it helps us, to use the words you shared earlier, I think it helps us build our confidence around becoming all of who we are.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but I love the way you define authenticity.
2
SPEAKER_00
 as alignment, like between the green room and being on stage, because I think authenticity today, there's a lot of misconception about it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Authenticity just means like being yourself and showing yourself.
2
SPEAKER_00
But what you're saying is actually like internally, your integrity is aligned.
2
SPEAKER_00
And what I love about the book, and this is what I recommend to everyone, when you grab a copy, you'll see this,
2
SPEAKER_00
 is that Jamie walks through all the struggles we have.
2
SPEAKER_00
So you have chapters, which he just mentioned, believe in the power of authenticity, but then there's other beliefs that we all need, like believe in being brave over being liked.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I love the way the book's structured on what we need to believe in versus what we need to stop believing.
2
SPEAKER_00
So, Jamie, I want to ask you this question, and I think it's going to really help everyone who's listening and watching today, because when I'm speaking to you, I can feel you're just
2
SPEAKER_00
 belief in humanity and belief in people, it just bounces off you.
2
SPEAKER_00
It's coming through you.
2
SPEAKER_00
You really believe, not just in what you're saying, but you really believe in everyone who's listening.
2
SPEAKER_00
 but they're beating themselves up right now.
2
SPEAKER_00
There's someone who's listening to this and they've just spent the whole day beating themselves up.
2
SPEAKER_00
They've spent the whole week beating themselves up.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I almost think like the opposite of belief is not doubt.
2
SPEAKER_00
It's beating yourself up because doubt is questioning yourself and that's a positive healthy habit.
2
SPEAKER_00
But the negative unhealthy habit is you're just beating yourself up.
2
SPEAKER_00
If someone's listening right now and they've been beating themselves up, what would you say to them?
2
SPEAKER_02
 Yeah, I would say you're not alone.
2
SPEAKER_02
I would say the very, and I love that you're asking this question.
2
SPEAKER_02
It's so important.
2
SPEAKER_02
Cause I think when we do beat ourselves up, it's so easy to think that we're alone in that, that, you know, other people don't do that.
2
SPEAKER_02
It's just us and we're wrong and we're bad and we're damaged and all those things.
2
SPEAKER_02
Right.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I think the first and most important thing is that I think this is a universal thing that every person, um,
2
SPEAKER_02
 And I just think even the way our brains are wired that we're tempted to do that.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I think that, you know, the words we say about ourselves to ourselves, right, are
2
SPEAKER_02
 the most important and powerful words.
2
SPEAKER_02
So one of the things I really go into in my book, and I talk about this a lot, is this idea of almost an imaginary volume dial.
2
SPEAKER_02
Another thing I talk about, a good friend of mine, Bob Goff, taught me this lesson.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I said, oh my gosh, it was just in a small group conversation.
2
SPEAKER_02
I'm like, this has changed my, it changed my life.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I'm like, Bob, can I share this with everyone?
2
SPEAKER_02
Because this is going to serve a lot of people.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I talk about this too, where he talks about the power of your own microphone, right?
2
SPEAKER_02
 Here's the thing we all need to get really good at, and this takes practice and it takes time, and it takes intentionality in terms of just being aware of it.
2
SPEAKER_02
But I imagine a volume dial, right?
2
SPEAKER_02
And we need to get really good at knowing when to turn the volume down on stuff and when to turn the volume up on stuff, right?
2
SPEAKER_02
 And for example, with the guy that said to me, no one will buy makeup from someone who looks like you, or I can go into literally thousands of stories, Jay, about some of the rejections and some of the things that people said to me along the journey.
2
SPEAKER_02
And, you know, even to this day, I mean, every one of us hops on social media and it's so easy to see a great, you know, beautiful, positive message.
2
SPEAKER_02
And it's just as easy to find someone saying something hurtful, right?
2
SPEAKER_02
So this is something that's a universal experience.
2
SPEAKER_02
 And whether it's someone saying this in social media or it's us saying it to ourselves, we have to get really good at, and the way I do this, I literally imagine this imaginary volume dial where I, and still to this day, you know, I still have thoughts of self doubt that pop up about the most random things.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I'm now able to catch them.
2
SPEAKER_02
I literally imagine myself turning the volume down on them.
2
SPEAKER_02
 And I instantly replace it with something positive that somebody said that I believe, I know it's true.
2
SPEAKER_02
We are not built to remind ourselves of all the positive things about ourself, right?
2
SPEAKER_02
We have to do it intentionally.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I share a story in the book of, well, first I wanna say too, about the microphone thing.
2
SPEAKER_02
A lot of us have friends and family around us that mean well, and that we wanna keep in our life because they've been in our life forever and all the things.
2
SPEAKER_02
 But when we share our hopes or our dreams with them, or when we share our struggles with them, they say things, often with a great intention, that just aren't for us, that just lower our vibration, right?
2
SPEAKER_02
And one of the things I talk about that my friend Bob Goff shared, and I talk about this a lot in the book, is learning who to hand your own microphone to in life, to speak into, and when you need to take that microphone back.
2
SPEAKER_02
 And a lot of people struggle because maybe they watch a show and they have big, you know, uh, vision for the kind of life or the kind of health or the kind of love that they want in their life.
2
SPEAKER_02
But then they're sharing that and those thoughts and those ideas with people in their circle or in their family or in their home.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then instantly they feel their vibration get lower instantly.
2
SPEAKER_02
They go back to that place of self doubt.
2
SPEAKER_02
And so one big thing, and I talk about this a lot and believe it is, you know,
2
SPEAKER_02
 holding your own microphone and imagine for anyone listening and not watching this imagine a news reporter who's holding a microphone and they hand it over to somebody to speak into right and give their story.
2
SPEAKER_02
 and then they're able to take their microphone back.
2
SPEAKER_02
If you watch really seasoned TV news journalists, they never let go of their microphone because they know if you give it to someone who's giving you a firsthand account of something or other, that person will take that microphone and you have a hard time getting it back on live TV, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
That's such a good analogy.
2
SPEAKER_00
That's such a good analogy.
2
SPEAKER_02
But imagine in real life, every second, Jay,
2
SPEAKER_02
 we're giving our microphone to someone else when we're letting them speak in into our life right and sometimes it's like a friend at the gym and sometimes it's a family member.
2
SPEAKER_02
But we have to get really good at going oh when i'm struggling and when I you know need someone to talk to and I talked to this person.
2
SPEAKER_02
 Is this filling my soul?
2
SPEAKER_02
Is it helping me?
2
SPEAKER_02
If it's not, you have to take your microphone back from that person.
2
SPEAKER_02
You can still keep them in your life, but maybe you talk to them about like what happened on The Bachelor last night or whatever, but you don't talk to them about your struggles.
2
SPEAKER_02
And similarly, you know, so many people I know watch your show and are inspired for their own purpose and their own sense of health and their own sense of peace.
2
SPEAKER_02
And, you know, if you share these ideas, maybe with a partner, maybe it's your,
2
SPEAKER_02
 spouse or your boyfriend or girlfriend or significant other or whatever, they may not be on that same path.
2
SPEAKER_02
 enlightenment and personal growth.
2
SPEAKER_02
And, and you might be so frustrated that you keep sharing it with them.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then you're just like, Oh, so listen, like, and then all you're doing is literally stealing your own joy and lowering your own vibration when you keep trying to do that.
2
SPEAKER_02
And so I've learned this lesson and I think it's so powerful and taking your microphone back.
2
SPEAKER_02
And similarly, you know, why you and I talked, I think for 14 hours, the first trip we were on and Roddy and all the, all the amazing people on that trip.
2
SPEAKER_02
 is like oh you can feel when you're speaking into each other's microphone and your vibration's going higher and and and people get it and they're dreaming and it's not that people tell you what they want to hear they'll still call you out on your crap but like everyone has this vibration right and and I think
2
SPEAKER_02
 Knowing, and by the way, your show can be something that someone puts their microphone up to, right?
2
SPEAKER_02
It doesn't always have to be a person physically in their life.
2
SPEAKER_00
Your book is a perfect example.
2
SPEAKER_00
Absolutely.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, exactly.
2
SPEAKER_02
And so that is huge.
2
SPEAKER_02
And what I would say for people, you know, really just
2
SPEAKER_02
 Struggling with that inner critic is that I think it is a practice of identifying it.
2
SPEAKER_02
And for me, of course, I am the biggest proponent of therapy and I'm the biggest proponent of personal growth and all of those things.
2
SPEAKER_02
And in my book, I share a lot of the tools that worked for me because I think that, you know, so many of us are in that spot and that self-doubt takes over.
2
SPEAKER_02
Um, we start to, you know, hold on to past labels people put on us.
2
SPEAKER_02
 uh, words they said about us, past mistakes, past miscalculations or regrettable incidents or things we did wrong.
2
SPEAKER_02
But like, I believe in life, like we're not our, our past mistakes or any of those things.
2
SPEAKER_02
I believe we're our intentions going forward.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I think that, you know, starting some of these implementing some of these tools from the book and.
2
SPEAKER_02
 into your real life is really big because for me, I battled self-doubt my whole life.
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And, you know, there are so many stories.
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The investor in the weight one is just one of many.
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There are so many that I share and talk about how did I get through?
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And, you know, I would create this imaginary toolbox that I would just go back from and pull from.
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And one thing in my imaginary toolbox is just every time I catch myself putting myself down,
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 telling myself things like, you're not qualified, you're this, that.
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I pull from another moment and I replace that in my own mind.
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And I try to turn the volume up on that, right?
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And sometimes it can be, you know, something kind that somebody said in the line at Starbucks.
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Like, sometimes it can be someone saying, oh, you just brighten my day.
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And I'll remind myself, oh, and I turn the volume up on that.
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There's a moment I share the first time when I met Michelle Obama and some things she shared to me in the book.
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 And she just said the most beautiful words.
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And I won't give up the story, but those words, I replay them in my mind, right?
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So when I have moments, like I'm tempted to replay my own self-doubt, I literally turn it down and I replace it.
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And I think that's a big thing.
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And I think it's important to know we're not alone and it's all a journey.
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The way we started this conversation, I think is so relevant to this question, which is all of us,
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 have these experiences of self-doubt and then we all of a sudden have the noise and other people's opinions or if you're launching a business or building a community online.
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 Like what I went through was years of no proof that my idea was going to work.
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So when we have no proof around us that what we're doing might be successful and we have, you know, friends and family worried about us saying, are you sure you should have quit your job?
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Or are you sure you're qualified?
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All those things, right?
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And then we have rejection.
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Then we have our own self-doubt.
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It can be so loud that we literally end up like staying in our comfort zone, decide talking ourselves out of our own truth.
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 right?
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Staying in our comfort zone, never starting the dream, never, you know, writing the book, never creating the blog and the podcaster, right?
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All those things.
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We stay in our comfort zone, which makes a lot of other people more comfy too, but then it chips away at our own soul.
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And I think it's, it robs us from, from becoming the person we're born to be.
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 So it's a journey, I think of intentionality and we're all in this together, right?
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And what a beautiful thing that anybody going through this right now is able to hear your show and is able to hear you and me and connect with us.
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Cause I believe we're all connected and I believe we all have the same hopes and doubts and fears and dreams and all that.
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 I love that.
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Everyone, that is Jamie Kern-Lima.
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Believe It is the name of the book, How to Go from Underestimated to Unstoppable.
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I want everyone to go and grab a copy of the book.
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You heard like a smidge of the stories.
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There are incredible stories, tools, techniques, everything inside this book that's going to actually help you break through the biggest issue in your life.
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 which is belief, self-belief.
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That's the biggest block.
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There is no bigger block.
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And all of it is laid out in this wonderful book that Jamie's put together.
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And Jamie, I'm going to end with you with what we do with every guest is our final five.
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So these answers have to be given in one word or one sentence maximum as they're our final five.
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And so Jamie, are you ready for your final five?
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 Let's go Jay.
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Okay.
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Awesome.
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So the first question I have is what is the best advice you've ever received?
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God can dream a bigger dream for you than you can for yourself.
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I love that.
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That's, that's an awesome piece of advice.
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I fully agree.
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Okay.
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Second question.
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What's the worst advice you've ever received?
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You need to change this about yourself to fit in and then you'll do great.
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 Brilliant, great answer.
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Okay, third question.
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What's something that you know to be true, but people may disagree with you on?
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Something that you're confident about, but people may not quite get it.
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These famous words, I'm so confident about him.
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And I remind myself about them every time I start to doubt myself.
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It's a famous saying.
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I think it applies no matter what faith you are.
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God doesn't call the qualified.
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He qualifies the called.
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Oh, I love that.
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Not everyone agrees with it.
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 I live by it.
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That just gave me shivers.
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That's really powerful.
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I love that.
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That's beautiful.
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I love that.
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That is so beautiful.
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I love that.
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Thank you for sharing that with me.
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Okay, question number four.
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We got two left.
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Question number four.
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What's the biggest lesson you've learned in the last 12 months?
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Champions aren't made when the game is easy.
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And this has been a tough year for so many people.
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I believe if anyone's listening to your show right now, I believe they're a champion.
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And I think we'll get through this.
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Uncertainty won't take us down.
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 I love that.
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Thank you for saying that.
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And fifth and final question.
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If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?
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Be love.
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I love that.
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Live love, be love.
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 That's beautiful.
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We all are.
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Everyone, Believe It is the name of the book.
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How to go from underestimated to unstoppable.
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Jamie Kern Lima.
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Jamie, it has been just amazing talking to you.
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I felt every ounce of energy through the screen.
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I know that right now you've been busy with press and interviews.
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You've got so many amazing people supporting your book.
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I mean,
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 Jamie's got everyone from Oprah and Robin Roberts and just incredible people that absolutely adore you and what you do.
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And I want to thank you for taking this time to be on On Purpose, to stay up after everything busy day to do this interview with that much energy and that much conviction.
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I mean, I'm just totally grateful to call you a friend.
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And I'm grateful for how you show up every single day.
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And I'm grateful for just how you showed up today despite the amount of things you have going on.
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So thank you so much, Jamie.
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 And I can't wait for this book to be in people's hands.
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I'm so excited.
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Jay, I'm excited.
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And thank you to you.
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And it is always the greatest joy when you meet someone in real life who's literally fully exactly as they are when you see them, you know, online.
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And that was you.
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And wow, what a gift.
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I'm super grateful.
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 for your friendship too.
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And I hope our conversation blessed people, because again, we're all in this together.
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And so thank you so much.
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Thank you for having me.
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Absolutely.
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Everyone, please go and follow Jamie on Instagram.
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Tag us both with the biggest lessons and takeaways from this session.
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When you're reading her book, go and post that on Instagram as well.
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Tag her and tag me to let us know that you found out about the book here so that we can see all the love and all the learnings that you're gaining.
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 Go and find her across social media, Facebook, Instagram, all the other platforms, and go and follow and go and learn about how you too can start to believe in yourself, believe into your dream, and find that voice inside of you.
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So thank you again, Jamie, and thanks everyone for listening.
2
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 A new season of Bridgerton is here.
2
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And with it, a new season of Bridgerton, the official podcast.
2
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I'm your host, Gabby Collins.
2
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And this season, we are bringing fans even deeper into the ton.
2
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Watch season three of the Shondaland series on Netflix.
2
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Then fall in love all over again by listening to Bridgerton, the official podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
2
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Subscribe to catch a new episode every Thursday.
2
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 Hey everyone, this is Molly and Matt, and we're the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.
2
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It's a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting.
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Like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.
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Let's learn about all of it and then some.
2
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Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on America's number one podcast network, iHeart.
2
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Open your free iHeart app and search Grown Up Stuff.
2
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 Guess what, Will?
2
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What's that, Mango?
2
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I've been trying to write a promo for our podcast, Part-Time Genius, but even though we've done over 250 episodes, we don't really talk about murders or cults.
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I mean, we did just cover the Illuminati of cheese, so I feel like that makes us pretty edgy.
2
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We also solve mysteries like how Chinese is your Chinese food and how do dollar stores make money?
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And then, of course, can you game a dog show?
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So what you're saying is everyone should be listening.
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Listen to Part-Time Genius on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.