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A new season of Bridgerton is here.
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And with it, a new season of Bridgerton, the official podcast.
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I m your host, Gabby Collins.
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And this season, we are bringing fans even deeper into the ton.
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Watch season three of the Shondaland series on Netflix.
0
SPEAKER_04
Then fall in love all over again by listening to Bridgerton, the official podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
0
SPEAKER_04
Subscribe to catch a new episode every Thursday.
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This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.
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The joy they brought to the nation.
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You re free completely.
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No one is there to destroy you.
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The danger they endured.
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They said my head should be cut off.
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I m John Legend.
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Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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Hey everyone, this is Molly and Matt, and we re the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.
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It s a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting.
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Like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.
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Let s learn about all of it and then some.
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Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on America s number one podcast network, iHeart.
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Open your free iHeart app and search Grown Up Stuff.
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Hey everyone, I m so excited because we re going to be adding a really special offering onto the back of my solo episodes on Fridays.
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The Daily J is a daily series on Calm and it s meant to inspire you while outlining tools and techniques to live a more mindful, stress-free life.
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We dive into a range of topics and the best part is, each episode is only 7 minutes long, so you can incorporate it into your schedule no matter how busy you are.
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As a dedicated part of the On Purpose community, I wanted to do something special for you this year.
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So I ll be playing a handpicked Daily J during each of my Friday podcasts.
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This week I m sharing an inspiring story that motivates me and hopefully can motivate you too.
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Of course, if you want to listen to the Daily J every day, you can go subscribe to Calm.
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So go to calm.com forward slash J for 40% off your membership today.
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Hey everyone, welcome back.
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It is so good to be here with you.
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Thank you so much for choosing On Purpose, for being in your ears right now, whether you re walking your dog, whether you re cooking, whether you re hanging out with a friend, listening together, whatever you re up to, or you re driving to and from work, I just want you to know,
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Thank you.
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I appreciate you.
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I m glad you re here.
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And it s been an incredible year so far.
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We ve had some phenomenal guests on the show.
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Everyone from Rick Rubin to Tom Holland to who else have we had?
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I mean, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Kim Kardashian,
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Ryan Holiday, Cynthia Erivo, that episode was really, really special.
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It has been a phenomenal, phenomenal journey to share with all of you.
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And I hope you re enjoying the content every week.
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We ve got so many more experts, cultural change makers, and celebrities to come on the show.
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As always, I feel like we drive the conversation in the direction of improving ourselves, becoming happier, healthier, and more healed.
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Today s topic is one that I ve been thinking about a lot, but I don t think I ve ever really spoken about fully.
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And it s about this idea of low self-worth, low self-esteem, and feeling like you re not enough.
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Now, if you came to my live show, you heard me tell this moment at the beginning of the show.
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So if you go on to Google and you type in the words, will I ever, the first thing that comes up for most of us is will I ever find love?
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Okay, stop doing it right now, I need your attention back.
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The second thing that comes up is will I ever be enough?
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And the third thing that comes up is, will I am net worth?
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That literally comes up if you keep searching.
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And it s really interesting.
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I want to go back to that second one.
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Will I ever be enough?
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It is such a big question.
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You might be sitting there right now or walking there right now thinking, I m not smart enough.
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I m not good enough.
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I m not fast enough.
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I m not hardworking enough.
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Fill in the blank.
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What is that for you that you feel, I am not X enough?
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Because we all have something, or maybe you have a couple of things.
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And we also think, I m not smart enough for.
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It happens in our relationships too.
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I m not good enough for that person.
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I m not good enough for that relationship.
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And then it transfers into our careers.
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I m not good enough for that job.
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I m not good enough for that opportunity.
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I can t put in an application.
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I don t have enough skills.
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This repetitive thought plagues our mind.
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It s like an infection.
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And it s contagious too.
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We get it off other people and we pass it on.
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And maybe it s because someone told you at school that you weren t good enough or smart enough.
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Maybe you had a parent who always made you feel like you weren t enough.
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Wherever it came from, it s our opportunity to address it and understand it because it s not serving us anymore.
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I m guessing you re here because you feel stuck.
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I m guessing you re here because you feel like you ve lost a bit of momentum.
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I m guessing you re here because you doubt yourself and you know that that doubt blocks you from taking the steps you want to take or receiving love from someone else.
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Maybe there s someone in your life who s been trying to treat you right, but you don t know what that feels like, so you d rather they treat you wrong.
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Think about that for a second.
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You ve got someone in your life who wants to treat you right, but you don t know what that feels like, so you d rather they treat you wrong, even if it feels awful.
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It s interesting what we begin to achieve and receive.
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Both what we try to achieve and what we allow ourselves to receive become reduced.
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because of low self-worth.
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Because of not feeling enough, you end up achieving less and receiving less.
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It s not just about you don t make as much success in your career and you don t go out there and win.
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You actually let less in to yourself.
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The idea that we actually block so much goodness in our life, so much goodness and greatness, because we don t feel like we re enough.
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And you might be thinking, well, Jay, easy for you to say.
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You feel like you have it all figured out.
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And I want to share with you.
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I want to take you back 10 years.
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10 years ago, I d just left the monastery, around 10 and a half years ago.
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And I was moved back in with my parents, living in their loft.
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the place I grew up as a teenager.
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I was 25 years old, and I was $25,000 in debt, and I was struggling to figure out my next steps.
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Back to the bedroom I grew up in as a teenager.
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And what I d try and do after I managed to finally get up and get out, because for the first month I was just so depressed and stuck, and all I was doing was listening to Drake, watching How I Met Your Mother, and eating chocolate, three things I definitely didn t do as a monk.
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After I got out of that slump, I used to go to the library and sit there for hours, sending job applications, hoping I d be able to move out of my parents  home.
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And I was rejected by 40 companies.
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I felt like I wasn t enough.
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Surprise, surprise, no one wanted a former monk, right?
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They were like, what are your transferable skills?
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Sitting still and being silent?
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We don t need that.
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And I felt like I wasn t enough when I sat in a job interview.
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And someone said to me, hey, so tell me what you ve been up to.
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Tell me about your recent work experience.
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And I was like, oh my gosh, I don t have any.
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And I d feel inadequate because that wasn t good enough for them.
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And then when I talked to my friends, all of my friends were now dating.
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They were in good relationships.
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Some of them were moving into new apartments.
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Some of them were getting promoted.
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Some of them looked like they were winning at life, at least externally.
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And again, I felt like I wasn t enough.
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And I felt like I was behind.
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I felt like I was left behind.
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And the worst thing was, I felt like it was all my fault because people had said to me that if I became a monk, when I eventually failed, which they predicted, that I d have committed career suicide.
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I would have let my parents down.
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I would be behind everyone.
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And now it felt like they were right.
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So I really felt like I wasn t enough.
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Moved back into my parents  loft, rejected from 40 companies.
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don t know where I m going.
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And then sometime after, I started dating Radhi, who was my girlfriend at the time, is my wife today.
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And I remember meeting her family for the first time.
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They invited me over, and they re wonderful people.
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I have such a great relationship with them.
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But it s really interesting how when you meet someone s parents for the first time,
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And actually, you ll find this in all areas of your life.
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When you don t feel secure, when you don t feel like you re enough, you project that insecurity onto other people.
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So when we were at dinner, I was just hoping that I d be able to dodge the one dreaded question I hoped they didn t ask.
1
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And I was doing OK.
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I was like, OK, I made it through dinner.
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I m fine.
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This is going to be all right.
1
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And then I remember sitting down with Raleigh s dad.
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And he s the sweetest man, and he didn t mean this in an intimidating way at all, but that s how I took it because of my own insecurity.
1
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And he said to me, so what are you going to do for work?
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And that question was like a dagger to the heart.
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I can t express to you just how unconfident and insecure I felt in that moment.
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And I didn t really have an answer.
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I felt like I wasn t enough, and I felt like I was lost, I was stuck, I was late, I was slow.
1
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I felt like I d missed my opportunity.
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And what makes it worse is our comparison mindset.
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When you say things like, I m behind, it means you think someone else is ahead.
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When you say things like, I m late, it means you think people are early.
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If you say things like, I think I missed my opportunities, it s because you think other people took them.
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And so what we re really scared of is how we look in comparison to other people.
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What we re really struggling with is how we feel we re perceived based on other people s supposed success.
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And all of that makes us feel like we re less, less, and less.
1
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Now, I want to give you an insight into what I learned that evening.
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I remember when I got home, I was sitting and reflecting about why I felt like I wasn t enough.
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I d always chosen to follow my heart based on what I studied at college, to becoming a monk.
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I d lived a fulfilling life before, so why was it now that I was putting all this pressure on myself?
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And I realized it came down to one thing.
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I didn t feel like I wasn t enough based on the choices I d made.
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It s about how I d felt about the choices I d made.
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Let me explain what I mean by that.
1
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And before I do that, I want to ask you, how many of you have one of those emotions right now that I was feeling?
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How many of you feel like you re not enough, that you re behind, that you re stuck, that you re lost, that you re confused, that everyone s got it figured out but you?
1
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Well, if you are feeling that way, I want you to know you re in the right place.
1
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The reflection that I came up with or realization that came to my mind that night was that I was seeing everything I d done in life until that point as useless.
1
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Everything that I d done up until the age of 25, I was seeing as a waste of time and meaningless.
1
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And now there was a tiny belief in me that I had to find something meaningful.
1
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I had to find something powerful.
1
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I had to find something positive.
1
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Basically, everything up until now was negative.
1
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I now had to discover what was positive.
1
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And that was so wrong.
1
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That mindset was so inaccurate.
1
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How many of you have ever looked to your past and thought, that was all a waste of time, now I m going to find something meaningful?
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That is such a destruction of your history.
1
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It is such denial of the strength that you ve accomplished, the pain you ve been through.
1
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It all has meaning.
1
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Anything that helps you help someone else can t be worthless.
1
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It has value and meaning.
1
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The problem was how I saw my life and the challenge is how you see yours.
1
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Know that your experiences are what make you special.
1
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You don t need a better story or journey.
1
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All of what you ve been through is what made you who you are today.
1
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Your pain is enough.
1
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Your story is enough.
1
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Your challenges are enough.
1
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Your mistakes are enough.
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Your choices are enough.
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All of that is enough.
1
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It s not that you need a different past to create a different future.
1
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Your past as it is, if accepted and embraced,
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and seen as useful as collecting experiences, collecting skills, collecting people, everything that you ve experienced, if you collect all of that and see it as worthy, what you can create is phenomenal.
1
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You are enough.
1
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Your experiences are enough.
1
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And there s an incredible quote from Wayne Dyer where he said, when we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.
1
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And that s what I realized.
1
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I had to change the way I looked at my past.
1
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I couldn t see my three years as a monk as a waste of time.
1
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They weren t.
1
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They definitely weren t.
1
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But it s crazy how a mindset can convince you that they were.
1
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You might think, wow, I don t use my college degree.
1
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What a waste of time.
1
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I promise you there s a connection, there s a relationship, there s a person, there s an assignment that you did at college that has actually made a difference in your life today.
1
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Now, I m not backing up college.
1
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I m backing up the idea
1
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that every experience has had some positive impact in your life.
1
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I often think about it that, why did I go to college?
1
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And then I remember some of the case studies I studied that inform my work now.
1
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I remember some of the relationships that taught me so much about friendship and connection.
1
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I remember some of my good choices and my bad choices, and I wouldn t have learned them any other way.
1
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It s so important to take stock of your life and actually accept that there is meaning and value there.
1
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Now, when you look at the studies, they talk about four types of self-worth, or four types of self-esteem.
1
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And I ve taken some of these from research and thought about them myself, and I wanted to give you a bit of insight.
1
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So one of the first ones is security and safety.
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A lot of us didn t grow up feeling safe or secure with our families, our parents.
1
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And so we are constantly feeling unsafe or insecure around other people.
1
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But feeling a sense of security and safety is such an important part of our self-worth.
1
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And the challenge is that if someone doesn t create that environment for us growing up,
1
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we have to focus on creating that environment for ourselves later on in life.
1
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And often instead of creating it, we re hoping to fall into someone else s.
1
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So often what ends up happening is that instead of building it, we depend on someone else being that safety net because we didn t have it earlier.
1
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This feeling of not being enough
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is what can make us codependent in relationships.
1
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It s also what can make us push partners away or allow toxic partners into our lives.
1
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Because if you don t feel a sense of security and safety, you accept any type of behavior towards you as safety and security because it gets you one step ahead of loneliness and one step ahead of being alone.
1
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And so that s where that particular one affects you in life, is that if you don t feel that security and safety, chances are your romantic relationships and the relationships that are close around you are going to struggle and suffer.
1
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So we want to focus on that one specifically for that reason.
1
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When the Taliban banned music in Afghanistan, millions were plunged into silence.
1
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Radios were smashed.
1
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Cassettes burned.
1
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You could be beaten or jailed or killed for breaking the rules.
1
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And yet, Afghans did it anyway.
1
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This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.
1
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The danger they endured.
1
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They said my head should be cut off.
1
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The joy they brought to the nation.
1
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You re free completely.
1
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No one is there to destroy you.
1
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I m John Legend.
1
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Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
1
SPEAKER_01
A new season of Bridgerton is here.
1
SPEAKER_01
And with it, a new season of Bridgerton, the official podcast.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m your host, Gabrielle Collins.
1
SPEAKER_01
And this season, we are bringing fans even deeper into the ton.
1
SPEAKER_01
Colin Bridgerton has returned from his travels abroad.
1
SPEAKER_01
Is Betrothal written in the stars for the eligible bachelor?
1
SPEAKER_01
Meanwhile, the ton is reverberating with speculation of who holds Lady Whistledown s pen.
2
SPEAKER_01
I sit down with Nicola Coughlin, Luke Newton, Shonda Rhimes, and more to offer an exclusive peek behind the scenes of each episode of the new season.
2
SPEAKER_01
Watch season three of the Shondaland series on Netflix.
2
SPEAKER_01
Then, fall in love all over again by listening to Bridgerton, the official podcast, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
2
SPEAKER_01
Subscribe to catch a new episode every Thursday.
2
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Guess what, Bango?
2
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What s up, Will?
2
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So iHeart is giving us a whole minute to promote our podcast, Part-Time Genius.
2
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I know, that s why I spent my whole week composing a haiku for the occasion.
2
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It s about my emotional journey in podcasting over the last seven years, and it s called Earthquake House.
2
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Mango, I m going to cut you off right there.
2
SPEAKER_03
Why don t we just tell people about our show instead?
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that s a better idea.
2
SPEAKER_03
So every week on Part-Time Genius, we feed our curiosity by answering the world s most important questions.
2
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Things like, when did America start dialing 911?
2
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Is William Shatner s best acting work in Esperanto?
2
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Also, what happened to Esperanto?
2
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Plus, we cover questions like how Chinese is your Chinese food?
2
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How do dollar stores stay in business?
2
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And of course, is there an Illuminati of cheese?
2
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There absolutely is.
2
SPEAKER_03
And we are risking our lives by talking about it.
2
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But if you love mind-blowing facts, incredible history and really bad jokes, make your brains happy and tune in to Part-Time Genius.
2
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Listen to Part-Time Genius on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
2
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The second type of self-worth that studies talk about is identity.
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And this I talk about through the lens of values.
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When you know your values, it s easier for you to make decisions about who you want around you and who you don t.
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It s easier for you to make decisions about what s aligned with your identity and what isn t, what places you go to, what projects you take on, what people you hang out with.
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All of that can be inferred by your values.
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This part becomes like a compass to you.
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And so I m giving you all of these because I want you to diagnose or check with yourself which is the one you re struggling with.
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Now you may be struggling with a few of these, but I want you to figure out which is the first one you want to dive into for yourself because you can t do them all at the same time.
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And so how many of you are struggling with your values?
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If I asked you what are your top three values, would you know?
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If I asked you what are your top three values in a friend, would you know?
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If I asked you what are your top three values in the person you want to become, do you know?
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And if you re unaware, I m not asking that in a challenging way or in a stressful way.
2
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It s just to make you aware that that s where you want to start putting your energy and emphasis.
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Now, the next one studies talk about is the self-confidence we experience through competence, a skill, an ability that we have.
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And this one, of course, massively affects our careers.
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Most of us end up in jobs that we re not that great at because we were never told to focus on our skills.
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We were told to focus on the skills that jobs needed.
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And so there s a mismatch there.
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And so some of us actually feel low self-esteem or we feel like we re not enough because of our work, because we feel we don t have skills at work.
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Notice how it s such a subtle and specific thing, whereas you might have skills in something else, but you don t value yourself for that because that s not what s being measured at work.
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So your self-worth currently, your self-confidence could be based on safety and security, could be based on your lack of identity and values, it could be based on an unawareness of your true competence and skills or being in a job or career that doesn t rely on the ones you love.
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And if we re neglectful of that, that can create more challenges in our career because if you keep doing something you re not good at or can t get better at,
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And that s a second important point, that you can get better at things you re not good at.
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But if you don t do that act, your self-esteem and your self-worth could always be low.
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And that s what I want you to see with these four areas, that in order for us to have 360 self-esteem and self-confidence or total self-worth,
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it requires us to focus on these four areas.
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And without focusing on these four areas, it can be very, very challenging to build it.
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So some of you may be like, but I m doing the affirmations in the mirror, but I m, you know, working hard on my daily habits.
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I m meditating every day.
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I m working out every day.
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Why am I not solving my self-worth?
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It s because of these.
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It s because of this, and I want you to come back to this.
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The fourth one that research shows is belonging, or a sense of community.
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Do I feel like there s a place that I feel understood?
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There s a difference between being understood and just being comfortable.
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You might be comfortable about a bunch of people, but that s different from a sense of belonging.
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The uniqueness
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in feeling like a sense of belonging is that when you talk, you feel almost like you don t have to add disclaimers and you don t have to over-explain yourself.
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Now, I m not saying someone can read your mind.
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That s unhealthy and not realistic.
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What I mean is that you don t feel like you have to do the same kind of over-explaining that you might have to do with someone else or the kind of deep dive into an area because you have a shorthand with these people.
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Do you feel a sense of belonging?
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Do you feel a part of something bigger?
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A lot of us need to feel like a part of something bigger in our lives.
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It s why we follow football clubs.
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It s why we take on religion or spiritual areas in our life.
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It s why we want to be part of a book club or whatever it may be.
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We all want to be a part of something because it gives us a sense of self-confidence.
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And so I want you to reflect on your life and go, which one of these do you need to work on?
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And maybe it s all of them, and that s OK.
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And if I could suggest an order, I d say that your identity and your values is a great place to start, because that will help you choose the right community.
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It will help you build safety and security.
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And it will help you build competence and skills.
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But all of these can happen in any order, and it doesn t really matter.
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It just matters that you re aware of these areas.
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Now, I was talking to a friend, and I want to talk about symptoms of how we feel like we re not enough.
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And he told me he was scared to start.
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And I asked him something that I ve been asked before.
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I said, are you scared of not starting, or are you scared of starting at zero?
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Right?
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I said, you re not scared of starting.
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You re scared of starting at zero.
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That hits, right?
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We can relate to that.
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We don t want to start at zero followers, zero subscribers, zero downloads, zero emails, zero phone numbers, zero contacts, whatever it may be.
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Even the number zero we have like a fearful feeling of.
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And the interesting thing is everyone starts at zero and that s okay.
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I actually don t even have a picture of my first presentation because zero people showed up.
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So who would I have asked to take the picture?
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I remember being in a tiny, tiny little college classroom and practicing to an empty room.
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Now, recently on Instagram, I was sharing these, how it started, how it s going, and I loved the feedback and all the comments that I got for that and just the amazing response because you got to see me speaking to groups of 10 people, 12 people.
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I had to dig out the archives and pull out these pictures.
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And I want to tell you a story.
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One of those pictures that I posted, I literally drove for three hours to speak to a group of 10 people because one of my friends said that they d be interested in spirituality.
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I didn t get paid.
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There was no followers involved.
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There was no money.
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There was no reward apart from the exchange in the room.
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And guess what?
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I drive those three hours all over again.
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I m sure you have something you drive three hours for.
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I m sure you d have something you drive six hours for.
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What is it that you already do?
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Now, when I was doing that, I never thought to myself, oh, I hope this gets bigger one day.
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Oh my gosh, why did no more people show up?
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I was just happy making an impact.
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And one of the reasons why we don t feel like we re enough, if you re starting a side hustle, you started a podcast, you started a social media page, you are starting a book club, whatever it is that you re doing that you re passionate about,
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One of the reasons, or you started working out and you want to lose or gain weight and you ve lost zero or gain zero weight, right?
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One of the reasons we struggle so much is we live in a world today where numbers are astronomical and they re so in front of us.
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But if you actually focus on helping one person, adding one calorie,
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building one skill, like that one is so powerful and it leads to two, it leads to three, it leads to four.
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So I want you to ask yourself this question, what is the first thing I can do and what is the smallest thing I can do?
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If you have low self-confidence or low self-esteem right now, I want you to ask yourself, what s the first thing I can do and what s the smallest thing I can do?
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Because the challenge is usually what our mind s saying is,
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I don t just need to do one thing, I need to do lots of things and small things won t help me.
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I need to do something big to make a change in my life.
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That s the issue.
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We ve conditioned ourselves to believe that we can only make change if we do a million things and if we do something big.
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And so I want you to ask yourself those questions, scribble them down right now, because get
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Guess what?
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You don t need a million followers to make an impact.
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You don t need a podcast to make an impact.
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You just need to be fueled by your passion.
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And you need to be developing real skills that will help you.
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And I remember at that time, I didn t think it would be big.
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I didn t put pressure on myself for it to be big.
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And one more important thing, I didn t know the path before I started.
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I figured it out as I went along.
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10 years ago, I wasn t saying, oh, I m going to do this talk, and then five people are going to turn into 100, and then one day I m going to launch a book and a podcast.
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I didn t even think about all that stuff.
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All I thought was, how do I help these five to 10 people who care enough to listen to me?
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And I figured it out as I went along.
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So some of us are thinking, I need to figure out step seven in order to start step one.
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And then we don t stop, step one.
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And then we re thinking, I need to know step seven, eight, nine, ten.
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Right?
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We get so lost in taking the next step because we think we have to figure out the complete step.
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And that s how we continue to reduce our self-confidence.
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Because we re thinking, I need to think big.
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I need to know every step before I start.
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And I need to know
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not just the first step, whereas actually it s the complete opposite.
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What s the first thing I can do?
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What s the smallest thing I can do?
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Right?
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So I want to shift your mindset to that to help you make that shift.
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So, so far we ve covered how we view our pain makes all the difference.
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We ve talked about how everyone starts from zero.
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And I want you to remember this.
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Your first time will never be your best time, and it doesn t have to be your last time.
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Right?
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Your first time will never be your best time, and it doesn t have to be your last time.
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And I think that applies to a lot of things in life.
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But the first time I gave a presentation, it was definitely not my best.
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And if I made that the last time I gave a presentation, it would have stayed there, but it doesn t have to be my last time.
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And so I want you to remember that that first thing you do will probably be average, and it s more likely that it will fail than succeed.
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And as soon as you know that and accept that, you go, OK, that s OK.
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That s fine.
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I can still do this.
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And I want you to remember your story matters.
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So don t abandon it.
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Don t abandon your own story.
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Don t abandon your own history because it got you here.
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Mine it for truths, for stories, for experiences, for people and the greatness that came out of it.
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And here s one thing I want you to do that will help boost your self-confidence.
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I want you to help the person you were five years ago.
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You may think you have nothing to offer people.
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You may say, Jay, my self-confidence is so low, I have nothing to offer people.
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All the studies show that when people in need help others in need, it helps them.
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Our confidence and self-esteem improve when we help others.
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And you may say, Jay, well, I m in no position to help others.
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Who am I to help anyone?
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Help the person you were five years ago.
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I promise you there s someone who s there who s three to five years behind where you are.
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You ve moved on ahead a little bit, a tiny bit.
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Help that person.
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Become the person you needed five years ago.
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Because you have those skills.
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You moved on.
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You lived.
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You survived where you were five years ago.
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You re here to serve the person you were five years ago.
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You re here to help the person you were five years ago.
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Because I promise you, one of the greatest gifts in life
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is having someone who s just a few years ahead of you.
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Everyone thinks they need to have a coach or a mentor who s like one of the leaders in the world.
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And what most of us need is to talk to someone who s just three to five years ahead, maybe three to five months ahead.
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Because we need to know what we need to do now.
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If someone s 20 years ahead, 10 years ahead, it can be quite hard.
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I want you to write three things down you ve been through in three years that you think you could help people on.
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Again, you don t have to be an expert.
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You don t have to have the solution, but you could talk someone through the challenge they re going through.
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What challenges have you been through?
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What pains have you been through?
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Not that you could coach on or be a therapist on or anything of that kind, but that you could be a friend on.
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I want you to remember, helping others is helping yourself.
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If you want to boost your self-confidence, remember these steps.
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How we view our pain makes all the difference.
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Everyone starts from zero.
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Your first will never be your best and it doesn t need to be your last.
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Your story matters, so don t abandon it.
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and help the person you were five years ago.
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And remember that, look at your life 360.
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Do you need to find more belonging?
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Is it your skills that you need to work on?
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Is it your career?
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Is it your values?
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Or is it a sense of security and safety?
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The more you break it down into these compartments, the easier it is to actually focus and prioritize.
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Thank you so much for listening to On Purpose.
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I appreciate you so much.
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I hope that you ll keep coming back for more incredible episodes.
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I know some of you are listening to us every day, which means the world to me.
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And thank you so much for leaving your incredible reviews.
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I do take a look at them.
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And there were a couple recently that I wanted to address around some episodes we posted.
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We posted some episodes where I was a guest.
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So if you thought I was talking too much to a guest, it s actually because we posted somewhere I was being interviewed.
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And so I just wanted to clarify that because I would never over talk my guests.
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I always like to sit and respect them.
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But I wanted to share insights from people interviewing me as well.
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So thank you so much.
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I appreciate you.
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I m grateful for you.
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And I ll see you soon.
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I m not much of a gambler.
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I don t care for cards or slots.
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And you ll never find me wagering on sports.
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But there is one thing I do bet on.
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Myself.
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Today, I hope to inspire you to do the same.
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The next seven minutes are about leaning into self-belief.
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I m Jay Shetty.
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Welcome to the Daily Jay.
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Let s start by taking three deep breaths to center ourselves in this moment.
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So breathing in and breathing out.
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Expanding and relaxing.
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Sharpening our attention and bringing it to the present.
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Let s dive in.
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Today, I d like to tell you a story about Venus Williams.
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Right before her first pro tournament, she was offered $3 million.
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Venus was just 14 years old, a prodigy, but outside of hardcore tennis circles, she was relatively unknown.
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She had not been competing on the junior circuit, the standard route for promising young players.
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Her dad didn t want her to burn out too soon and he also wanted her to focus on school.
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So when Venus headed to Oakland, California for the 1994 Bank of the West Classic, it was going to be her first competitive match in three years.
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Still, Nike saw something in her and extended a massive sneaker deal.
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The company wanted in on Venus  bright future and they were willing to pay for it.
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There was just one catch.
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The offer would expire the second she stepped on the court.
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Three million dollars.
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For an untested 14-year-old, it was a no-brainer, right?
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Wrong.
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Venus turned down the deal, choosing instead to play.
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She and her father appreciated the offer, but they believed it was just their first and that it wouldn t be the best.
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They believed that she would boost her value on the court.
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Venus bet on herself.
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Now, if this seems foolish, it wasn t.
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Bold, maybe, but not reckless.
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Venus and her father weren t being arrogant or unrealistic.
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They weren t operating on blind faith.
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Venus had been practicing diligently with one of the best coaches in the country.
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She was a remarkable natural athlete and she had put in serious work to refine her game.
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And so Venus knew what she was capable of.
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In that first tournament, Venus ended up facing the number two player in the world and she held her own.
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Seven months later, Reebok came knocking with a five-year, $12 million deal, an unprecedented amount for someone her age.
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Now that deal, she took.
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Venus gambled, but she wasn t lucky.
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She was good.
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And yet most of us, faced with the same situation, would have probably taken the money.
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It can be a human instinct to cash in on a certainty, even if there might be something greater around the next turn.
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But sometimes, a calculated leap of faith can pay off.
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Again, it s not about blind faith.
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Betting on yourself doesn t mean going all in with a bad hand.
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I m not saying you should quit your job without a plan for the future or enter a marathon with no training at all.
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What I am saying is to believe in yourself when you know you re ready for more.
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It s about trusting your process and your preparation.
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and sometimes your gut.
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I get it.
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It s easy to be afraid of failure or embarrassment, to worry about what we may lose.
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So we play it safe when we really should go big.
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But next time, when you re faced with your $3 million Nike deal, don t just automatically jump at it.
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Ask yourself, are you worth more?
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And that s what we re going to work on for the rest of this session.
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We re going to do a short meditation, and then we ll reflect on how you can bet on yourself.
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So get comfortable wherever you are, seeing if you can release a little tension.
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And I d like to try one of my favorite exercises here, adding neck stretches to the rhythm of your breath.
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So inhaling and lowering your left ear to your left shoulder and exhaling back to the middle.
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This time to the right, breathing in and down and exhaling back to center.
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As you find your own rhythm, see if you can bring your full attention to the feeling of the stretch.
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The idea is not to do the biggest stretch ever.
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It s just to become aware of your movement.
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Maybe you feel a sense of release.
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Maybe there s some tightness.
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Whatever you feel is okay.
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Keep tuning in.
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Now feel free to settle into stillness.
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And let s open this up.
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Think of a time when you settled for less than you thought you were really worth.
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when you wanted to go for something but you didn t?
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What was holding you back?
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Fear?
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Complacency?
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Self-doubt?
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Next time, can you consider betting on yourself?
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If today s session made an impact on you, go ahead and share it with someone else so that they can bet on themselves too.
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Thank you for joining today.
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I ll see you tomorrow.
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Guess what, Will?
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What s up, Mango?
4
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I ve been trying to write a promo for our podcast, Part-Time Genius, but even though we ve done over 250 episodes, we don t really talk about murders or cults.
4
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I mean, we did just cover the Illuminati of cheese, so I feel like that makes us pretty edgy.
4
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We also solve mysteries like how Chinese is your Chinese food and how do dollar stores make money?
4
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And then, of course, can you game a dog show?
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So what you re saying is everyone should be listening.
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Listen to Part-Time Genius on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.