0
SPEAKER_01
Hey guys, it s Spadely Spadoodle here and just want to give you a heads up.
0
SPEAKER_01
On the podcast we have Fred Wolff today, an old buddy of ours.
0
SPEAKER_01
Just wanted to say that, you know, some of these are recorded ahead of time, often years.
0
SPEAKER_01
So if we have like Michael Jackson, he s talking about the Thriller album coming out, that was prerecorded.
0
SPEAKER_01
So if you hear that one.
0
SPEAKER_01
But no, but you know, Dana s obviously going through something semi unimaginable right now, and I can t even put it into words.
0
SPEAKER_01
So, you know,
0
SPEAKER_01
Dana s one of my best buds, and it s hard to watch this.
0
SPEAKER_01
And his kid, Dex, is what a great kid.
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t want to get into all that.
0
SPEAKER_01
I ll let Dana talk at some point about it.
0
SPEAKER_01
I just want to say that this was already recorded.
0
SPEAKER_01
And for the rest of this year, we have prerecorded a few, and then we re going to do a few best of.
0
SPEAKER_01
But you ve got some great ones coming up, including
0
SPEAKER_01
the unbelievable Dan Aykroyd that we did right before.
0
SPEAKER_01
That was the last we did, it was great.
0
SPEAKER_01
Danny Aykroyd is one of my favorites of all time and he got to sit in person with us.
0
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, and of course Dana really, really appreciates the outpouring from every possible angle of people.
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, just the amount I got just to relate to him and everyone I think understands how difficult and
0
SPEAKER_01
Whatever, it s hard to even talk about.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so let s have some fun.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I know it s almost impossible, but we had a good time with Fred.
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t want this to reflect on Fred.
0
SPEAKER_01
He s a great guy.
0
SPEAKER_01
And please have a good time with this one.
0
SPEAKER_01
Freddy is an old buddy, wrote Tommy Boy.
0
SPEAKER_01
This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.
0
SPEAKER_01
But you know, look at how fast, we re almost halfway through the year.
0
SPEAKER_01
Crazy, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Are you proud of what you ve done in 2024 so far?
0
SPEAKER_02
I mean, you always want to do more, right?
0
SPEAKER_02
Life goes so fast.
0
SPEAKER_02
David, it s important to take a moment to celebrate your wins, make adjustments for the rest of the year.
0
SPEAKER_02
Therapy can help you take stock of your progress and set achievable goals for the next six months.
0
SPEAKER_01
Listen, therapy is the way to go.
0
SPEAKER_01
I did it for a while.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I think the thing that slowed me down was what they, is driving to Santa Monica in traffic once or twice a week.
0
SPEAKER_01
This is online.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s a great idea.
0
SPEAKER_01
Very convenient.
0
SPEAKER_01
It helps you.
0
SPEAKER_01
You ve got coping skills, how to set boundaries.
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, there s so many things you can do here to be a better version of yourself.
0
SPEAKER_01
You can probably always sharpen it.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I mean, I had a therapist in Portland and I would commute and that was a pain.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s a long drive.
0
SPEAKER_02
I know it was 1300 miles one way, but you know, it s good therapist.
0
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, this one you can mix and match and your thoughts kind of control you and you want to master them.
0
SPEAKER_02
And when you talk to someone else, they re able to kind of discern it out.
0
SPEAKER_02
So if you re thinking of starting to give therapy a try, give BetterHelp a try.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, suited to your schedule.
0
SPEAKER_01
You fill out a questionnaire, get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist if you want to for any reason, no charge.
0
SPEAKER_01
Take a moment, visit betterhelp.com slash FOTW today.
0
SPEAKER_01
Get 10% off your first month.
0
SPEAKER_02
That s betterhelp, H-E-L-P.com slash F-O-T-W.
0
SPEAKER_01
David, who s our guest this week?
0
SPEAKER_01
Dana?
0
SPEAKER_01
Fred Wolfe?
0
SPEAKER_01
Fred Wolfe is an old dear friend of mine that s stand up.
0
SPEAKER_01
I think he got me
0
SPEAKER_01
he tried to get me out of the improv in San Diego, maybe, or he always tried to get me on because he thought it was funny when he saw me at Finney Bones in Arizona.
0
SPEAKER_01
So I always owed him for that.
0
SPEAKER_01
He was always cheerleader for me, co-wrote stuff with me, Dickie Roberts, Joe Dirt.
0
SPEAKER_01
He co-wrote Tommy Boy.
0
SPEAKER_02
Was a, at one point, a head writer of Saturday Night Live.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, he wrote Black Sheep.
0
SPEAKER_02
Tommy Boy, he s a... What s the one with Anna Faris?
0
SPEAKER_01
House Bunny, he directed House Bunny.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, writer, director.
0
SPEAKER_01
And we got to sit with him, I ve known him forever.
0
SPEAKER_01
Very funny, very inside stories about all the above.
0
SPEAKER_01
He knew Farley well, he knew everybody.
0
SPEAKER_02
Sandler, all of us.
0
SPEAKER_01
And so we cracked up and I think you re gonna like him and you re gonna like to hear what he has to say.
0
SPEAKER_01
Here he is, Fred Wolpe.
0
SPEAKER_01
Fred Wolpe.
0
SPEAKER_00
I actually was thinking about that.
0
SPEAKER_00
There is a certain, like when friendships kind of run over where it s like, I don t respect the process because you guys are so cool and my friends forever, but then you guys are steaming mad.
0
SPEAKER_00
I totally get it.
0
SPEAKER_00
This is my first time, by the way, ever using Zoom with a microphone and earbuds, I shouldn t say that probably, right?
0
SPEAKER_00
I should sound more professional.
0
SPEAKER_02
No, people like- No, no, we ve had issues with everybody.
0
SPEAKER_02
I won t even mention the guests we ve had that were,
0
SPEAKER_02
Inept.
0
SPEAKER_02
So you re a winner, because sometimes it s been 20 minutes, 25, with Wi-Fi issues and stuff.
0
SPEAKER_02
You re just saying that.
0
SPEAKER_02
No, I have notes I was gonna lead off with Wi-Fi issues.
0
SPEAKER_02
That was your first question?
0
SPEAKER_02
With Fred Wolf, I go, Wi-Fi issues first 20 minutes.
0
SPEAKER_02
That s the first.
0
SPEAKER_02
Do you think it, was I overloading it?
0
SPEAKER_02
Because I ve run out of topics.
0
SPEAKER_01
You already ran out?
0
SPEAKER_02
This is our 700th, this is our 711th episode today.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I m running out of topics.
0
SPEAKER_00
Everybody s talking about the show, and I m supposed to say something like that, I know, but it s actually the truth, everybody.
0
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
0
SPEAKER_00
And there s all these friends.
0
SPEAKER_00
Good to hear.
0
SPEAKER_00
Well, it s really true, though.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m not lying.
0
SPEAKER_01
And that s in the Montana area and also the Carmel area they re talking about, I hope.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s right.
0
SPEAKER_00
So we re covering a duo state area, also through Idaho, all through there, too.
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh, we re covering that, too?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, the Tri-Cities.
0
SPEAKER_01
Danny goes up there and burns $100 bills every year for a couple of weeks.
0
SPEAKER_02
I just look out of Montana Freeman, I go to their cabins, I talk them down, I go, no, the reset s not happening yet.
0
SPEAKER_02
So, you know, but it s a beautiful.
0
SPEAKER_02
It s the great reset, you know?
0
SPEAKER_02
Why would you have a job when a guy opens jars of pickles on Instagram, he s doing seven figures large.
0
SPEAKER_02
Dude, Dana, do you know- We re gonna do a large dill pickle, we re gonna open it.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that s YouTube?
0
SPEAKER_01
Yes, David.
0
SPEAKER_01
Dana, did you know that there s a girl, now you know about OnlyFans, I think you and Fred do, but there s a girl that farts in a jar.
0
SPEAKER_01
Heather, do you know this?
0
SPEAKER_01
She farts in a jar and she makes about 100 grand a year and she sells it.
0
SPEAKER_01
I was about to say she farts in a jar.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s not the funny, that s not the crazy part.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s easy, but she sells it and she has a big market.
0
SPEAKER_01
And now, I don t want to say this part, it s gross, but she s selling boob sweat.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m like, where do you go from farts in a jar?
0
SPEAKER_01
Boob sweat, I guess, right directly across.
0
SPEAKER_01
My only question is what s the weird part of this story?
0
SPEAKER_01
And I look back and behind me, he s got a hundred jars.
0
SPEAKER_01
I go, Dana, what s in there?
0
SPEAKER_01
They re like, the jars are inside the house.
0
SPEAKER_01
That means Dana collects them.
0
SPEAKER_02
All right, I gotta... Now give me a check.
0
SPEAKER_00
Let s ask Fred about SNL.
0
SPEAKER_00
Well, let me just say one thing really quick is that I was doing, sorry.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m trying to, I m so damn excited, but I was doing Health Money, editing Health Money, and Covert and those guys came in and they said, you got to see this.
0
SPEAKER_00
This is the craziest video we ve ever seen.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I go, I m tough.
0
SPEAKER_00
I can see it.
0
SPEAKER_00
They go, no, you re going to throw up.
0
SPEAKER_00
I haven t thrown up for any reason since I was five years old.
0
SPEAKER_00
And so I watch it and it s two girls and a cup.
0
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if you guys know this one.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s like the sickest, craziest thing ever.
0
SPEAKER_02
Do I want to know it?
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh, Dana, you don t know it?
0
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_02
Well, if you know it, you can t unknow it.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s one of those things, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Sounds like, David, you know what it is?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so the thing is, is it maybe sick, maybe ill, maybe depressed for mankind, just really ill.
0
SPEAKER_00
Well, what will it do to our listeners?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, how do you explain your boner you had during watching it?
0
SPEAKER_00
Huge boner, which is great.
0
SPEAKER_00
Cause I never get to two, but I did.
0
SPEAKER_00
So I m watching that.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m like sick.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m like, yeah, I m in my thirties look like twenties.
0
SPEAKER_00
And meanwhile, my daughter s 12 year old friends have all seen it on the internet.
0
SPEAKER_00
They ve all watched it.
0
SPEAKER_00
About half the class of a class of 20 have seen that thing at that young age.
0
SPEAKER_00
Tell me that s not so turn us on.
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh, we re just going.
0
SPEAKER_01
This nation.
0
SPEAKER_01
The only part of that story is bullshit is you didn t look 20 when you were 30.
0
SPEAKER_01
There s no way.
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh shit.
0
SPEAKER_00
The youngest guy really in the biz.
0
SPEAKER_00
Actually, you two guys are literally the youngest looking guys in the biz.
0
SPEAKER_00
You always have been.
0
SPEAKER_00
And that s no bullshit.
0
SPEAKER_00
Dana.
0
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_00
The first time I saw Dana was at the last stop in Newport beach and he killed.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I go, oh, uh, he looks young.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s the thing that made me the maddest for his age.
0
SPEAKER_00
Well, but I was young.
0
SPEAKER_00
Well, you were hard to look young in your twenties.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
But you look like you re in your teens.
0
SPEAKER_00
Uh, and then Davey, I saw him in Phoenix first time ever.
0
SPEAKER_00
I was probably a fifth time on a stage.
1
SPEAKER_02
age, young, and I thought, okay, I hate them already.
1
SPEAKER_02
But then they turned out to be kind of funny.
1
SPEAKER_02
Fred, did we meet that night or you just saw me?
1
SPEAKER_02
We talked.
1
SPEAKER_02
So you just said, I think about five minutes or something like that at Finney Bones.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
And then I waited for you to come off stage and there s like a little green room there.
1
SPEAKER_02
I go, Hey, uh, Dave s a good set and all that stuff.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
You re funny and all that sort of stuff.
1
SPEAKER_02
And then I took a shot and I go, um, man, I think you really got some, I think you really got a future in this company.
1
SPEAKER_02
Are you, are you serious about it?
1
SPEAKER_02
And you said, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
And so I called the San Diego improv, uh, our buddy Mark Anderson.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you got me in.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
I said, Hey, there s this, there s this kid.
1
SPEAKER_02
There s this kid.
1
SPEAKER_02
He s a, he s a young pup.
1
SPEAKER_02
I was like 19.
1
SPEAKER_02
And then you went there.
1
SPEAKER_02
Jesus out of the blocks fast.
1
SPEAKER_02
But so were you Dana, right?
1
SPEAKER_02
So by the way, I had sent photos of Missoula, Montana.
1
SPEAKER_02
I was up there like four months, just got back where I was born.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
And, uh, I always send you photos.
1
SPEAKER_02
So, you know, once every couple of weeks, I send you a photo and I always expect you to say, Oh, that s the corner of such and such.
1
SPEAKER_02
But you never have, and so... I m not that involved.
1
SPEAKER_01
I know where the Big Dipper is in the M on the mountain from the University of Montana.
1
SPEAKER_01
The Dipper, the ice cream place, right?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Parents went to school there, brother went to school there, doddle-ding, doddle-doom.
1
SPEAKER_01
I know where the Big Dipper is in the sky, kind of.
1
SPEAKER_01
So what was really, no, Fred, go back.
1
SPEAKER_01
So you see Spade, he s 19.
1
SPEAKER_01
He looks like a fetus with shoes.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s like really young looking.
1
SPEAKER_01
Did he always have kind of a voice?
1
SPEAKER_01
Because you re the first person who just randomly said to me in conversation, and Davey s always had that voice.
1
SPEAKER_01
So Spade has a very cool, distinct voice.
1
SPEAKER_01
I still haven t learned it, but tell me, come back for season two, I will have mastered it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I just do the sound effect.
1
SPEAKER_01
David, when he does it, he doesn t do very much.
1
SPEAKER_01
But what did you, did he have a voice then or did his voice kind of richen as he got, or did he still have kind of what this timber he has that s very potent at 19?
1
SPEAKER_02
By the way, I love those words.
1
SPEAKER_02
And those are good words, seriously, the timber and all that stuff.
1
SPEAKER_02
I, you know, Hollywood never knew what to call it.
1
SPEAKER_02
They called it it, you know, when someone has it.
1
SPEAKER_02
And I think that s part of the package when there s a voice and there s a cadence or something that s natural, you can t teach it.
1
SPEAKER_02
And yes, that was the thing that stood out because his jokes were awful.
1
SPEAKER_02
You know how they are, Dana, right?
1
SPEAKER_02
Camilla.
1
SPEAKER_01
Right.
1
SPEAKER_01
He rides on his charm.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
His timing.
1
SPEAKER_01
But the material is terrible.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s so cute.
1
SPEAKER_02
He s so cute.
1
SPEAKER_02
He thinks we re funny.
1
SPEAKER_02
But no, and then he did Tom Petty and all that stuff, and that killed the audience.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, the Tom Petty.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t understand the world of me.
1
SPEAKER_01
And David was never sweaty.
1
SPEAKER_01
He was always cool, on his heels a little bit.
1
SPEAKER_00
Very true.
1
SPEAKER_00
I love on his heels.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s another good term.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m Irish, so I got all these colloquial expressions, but it was always kind of cool and always made it look effortless.
1
SPEAKER_01
So that was interesting.
1
SPEAKER_01
Was I a dick when you first met me?
1
SPEAKER_01
Was I cocky back then?
1
SPEAKER_01
No way.
1
SPEAKER_01
In 83?
1
SPEAKER_02
No way.
1
SPEAKER_02
So this is a true... It s hard to say compliments to people on their face on their show, where of course you d say positive stuff, but I m
1
SPEAKER_02
We deal with it.
1
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_02
I just mean, I look like, so like such a guest, but it s so true.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s like, no, I m at the last stop.
1
SPEAKER_02
I was a house MC about twice a week.
1
SPEAKER_02
I d go down there.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s like a hour drive down from LA, but we went on a stage time.
1
SPEAKER_02
And then Dana, you were on stage for reels to just fucking blew the roof off.
1
SPEAKER_02
It was insane.
1
SPEAKER_02
You need to chop a broccoli and that stuff.
1
SPEAKER_00
Broccoli was there always, man.
1
SPEAKER_00
It keeps appearing, that fucking chopping broccoli.
1
SPEAKER_00
That fucking thing we get so used to.
1
SPEAKER_00
That, I m telling you, it s moved to the top of the resume because everyone remembers chopping.
1
SPEAKER_00
Even if it s a throwaway in the middle of your act.
1
SPEAKER_00
By the way, Fred, I ve never seen Dana not kill.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m not even joking.
1
SPEAKER_00
Even if he s doing five, guest spot, anything, Kim will always crush it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Go ahead.
1
SPEAKER_00
Boom.
1
SPEAKER_01
We ll see.
1
SPEAKER_02
We ll see.
1
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, I had broccoli.
1
SPEAKER_02
Chopping broccoli.
1
SPEAKER_02
And then, first of all, you were nice, but I do want to jump ahead to Dane in Always Killing.
1
SPEAKER_02
I opened for him one time.
1
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I ve opened for him a few times.
1
SPEAKER_02
And I remember one time up in Ventura it was, I think.
1
SPEAKER_02
Dana, I destroy.
1
SPEAKER_02
I blew the roof off.
1
SPEAKER_02
I really did.
1
SPEAKER_02
And I don t usually.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_01
I remember that.
1
SPEAKER_02
I remember you had a great set.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
I had a good set.
1
SPEAKER_02
And in my head, I swear to God, I would never, ever think, oh, that guy can t follow me.
1
SPEAKER_02
He s like an asshole.
1
SPEAKER_02
But I was thinking, boy, I wonder if Dana s going to have a tough time.
1
SPEAKER_02
And I d feel bad for him because he said, come on and do some time.
1
SPEAKER_02
But the last was so long.
1
SPEAKER_02
You went on there and I swear to God, it was like twice my set.
1
SPEAKER_02
It was like fucking from like first 10 seconds.
1
SPEAKER_02
First of all, they have to see you.
1
SPEAKER_02
And secondly, everything you said was like pure destruction.
1
SPEAKER_02
And I thought this is insane.
1
SPEAKER_01
I better get back into stand.
1
SPEAKER_01
Maybe that s the message I am.
1
SPEAKER_00
Hey guys, it s Spadoodle.
1
SPEAKER_00
You can always go to davidspade.com to look at my tour dates, because I bless a lot of cities in America with my hilarious standup act.
1
SPEAKER_00
Or you could not go to it and get on my enemy list.
1
SPEAKER_00
Up to you.
1
SPEAKER_01
So let s talk about your journey.
1
SPEAKER_01
We do like to talk about ourselves.
1
SPEAKER_00
No, no.
1
SPEAKER_00
All right, back to David serving.
1
SPEAKER_00
But Dana, Fred started, he had a very interesting beginning.
1
SPEAKER_00
You were already on the show.
1
SPEAKER_00
You met him, I had met him and knew him a little better than you.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think Rob and I, I think I threw his name to Downey.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think Rob maybe, maybe Sandler.
1
SPEAKER_00
Is that correct, Fred, so far?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yes.
1
SPEAKER_00
You can take it from there.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I was kind of lucky that I did a club in Sacramento.
1
SPEAKER_02
And the club across town, Rob Schneider was there.
1
SPEAKER_02
And he came out to see my set.
1
SPEAKER_02
I did 25 minutes or so.
1
SPEAKER_02
And then afterwards, we were talking.
1
SPEAKER_02
And this is way before any of us kind of clicked.
1
SPEAKER_02
And he just said, oh, you re funny.
1
SPEAKER_02
You re funny.
1
SPEAKER_02
And then years later, I knew you.
1
SPEAKER_02
I knew Adam.
1
SPEAKER_02
And you guys got on the show.
1
SPEAKER_02
And Dana was the king of the world there.
1
SPEAKER_02
And you guys said, hey, he might want to write on the show.
1
SPEAKER_02
It might be good to have you out here.
1
SPEAKER_02
It might be fun.
1
SPEAKER_02
And so
1
SPEAKER_02
This is going to sound like a huge Fred Wolf show here, but I will say- It is the Fred Wolf show.
1
SPEAKER_01
You are a guest.
1
SPEAKER_01
Go ahead.
1
SPEAKER_02
I m so careful not to horn it on you guys  glory here, but I wrote a sketch and I d never written one before.
1
SPEAKER_02
I d written jokes and all that kind of stuff, but a sketch was new to me.
1
SPEAKER_02
And so I was watching a show and I go, oh, okay, this is how you write a sketch.
1
SPEAKER_02
So I wrote one out.
1
SPEAKER_02
This is actually the long journey of this.
1
SPEAKER_02
Dave kind of knows the story, but I wrote it and I thought, hey, I think this is a pretty good sketch here.
1
SPEAKER_02
It was called the Mr. Belvedere Fan Club.
1
SPEAKER_02
And so I sent it out to Davey and Adam and Rob, and they got it to Jim Downey, you know?
1
SPEAKER_02
And I heard about this Jim Downey, I go, ah, Jim Downey, he s the man.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yes, exactly.
1
SPEAKER_02
He was the answer to a Jeopardy question a couple of months ago, by the way.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, and I knew the answer right away.
1
SPEAKER_02
And so I should have been on the show, I would have won.
1
SPEAKER_00
Who does Fred Wolf have a crush on?
1
SPEAKER_00
You re like, this cannot be Jim Downey.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, you re not supposed to say that.
1
SPEAKER_02
You gotta kind of play hard to get it up, play coy around Jim.
1
SPEAKER_02
No, so I sent it out to Jim and then he read it and he said, apparently he said, he didn t really talk to me.
1
SPEAKER_02
He said, yeah, okay, let s have him come out and do a two weeks, a guest shot.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was like a, some sort of setup they had where you can do- Something SNL does where they bring you out for two weeks, they bring a writer in to see if they have any- A tryout.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, a tryout, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
And I guess it s just to kind of get to know who you are and so forth, but they liked the sketch enough to bring me out.
1
SPEAKER_02
So they did, they flew me out.
1
SPEAKER_02
And then so I said, oh, OK, they write sketches.
1
SPEAKER_02
They do not read through on Wednesday.
1
SPEAKER_02
OK, I see you write one of those up.
1
SPEAKER_02
I go, man, how do I do this really fast?
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I wonder if I could put the Mr. Belvedere sketch in.
1
SPEAKER_02
And so Jim Downey said, yes, like the third word he ever said to me in his life.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, go ahead, says Fibers.
1
SPEAKER_02
And so I go, okay.
1
SPEAKER_02
So Seinfeld was the host my first time out and I kind of knew him.
1
SPEAKER_02
So I went up to him and I said, Hey, I might put the sketch in and this is it.
1
SPEAKER_02
He read it, standing there, I m standing over with him.
1
SPEAKER_02
He s real silent, didn t laugh out loud once.
1
SPEAKER_02
And then he gets done reading, he says, it s not my thing, man.
1
SPEAKER_02
A little too dark.
1
SPEAKER_02
I ll read it at the table if you want, but I won t want this on this show.
1
SPEAKER_02
And my heart was like, just jumped on my throat, on the floor, trying to pick up my heart.
1
SPEAKER_02
I m like devastated that he didn t like it.
1
SPEAKER_02
And also I wasn t going to have a sketch on, even in the read-through.
1
SPEAKER_02
So- By the way, so you know what?
1
SPEAKER_02
You were smart.
1
SPEAKER_02
You didn t put it in read-through with a stink on it like that.
1
SPEAKER_02
Thank you.
1
SPEAKER_02
Thanks for saying that, Davey.
1
SPEAKER_02
I swear, because I was actually, I probably asked you, I probably asked you like, what should I do here or whatever.
1
SPEAKER_02
But I, that was my inclination too, is to not sort of give away some of the laughs, if there were going to be any laughs.
1
SPEAKER_02
So I held it back.
1
SPEAKER_02
And then the next week, it almost feels providential, is Tom Hanks was the host.
1
SPEAKER_02
I d never met him, of course.
1
SPEAKER_01
He looked at me like it was- Most enthusiastic host in history.
1
SPEAKER_02
Like literally, right?
1
SPEAKER_02
Tom Hanks, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
Like something s wrong with him almost, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
He s actually nice to me.
1
SPEAKER_02
Like the lowest man in the totem pole, he actually called me by my first name.
1
SPEAKER_02
He thought my first name was dumb ass, but whatever.
1
SPEAKER_02
So he read it and he said, oh, I think it was funny.
1
SPEAKER_02
It was funny.
1
SPEAKER_02
Let s see how it goes at the at the read through.
1
SPEAKER_02
So we did.
1
SPEAKER_02
And it crushed like it blew the roof off.
1
SPEAKER_02
And Dana, you re used to killing.
1
SPEAKER_02
I get it.
1
SPEAKER_02
And Davey, you ve killed this.
1
SPEAKER_00
I wasn t.
2
SPEAKER_00
to this kind of thing.
2
SPEAKER_00
What a rush.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was probably the best rush of laughs.
2
SPEAKER_02
Could you just quickly give us, just for our college listeners, what do you mean Mr. Belvedere?
2
SPEAKER_02
Was that based on the TV show?
2
SPEAKER_02
And what was the gist of that sketch?
2
SPEAKER_02
Because I don t remember, but I remember the name of the sketch.
2
SPEAKER_00
You might ve been gone.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t remember exactly.
2
SPEAKER_02
I might ve been gone.
2
SPEAKER_02
Was I there?
2
SPEAKER_00
No, you were gone.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
You were gone because- Seinfeld hosted once when I was there, so it must have been his second time.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
That sounds right.
2
SPEAKER_00
So what s the gist of it?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
So there was a TV show called Mr. Belvedere, I think.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
And he played like a nanny.
2
SPEAKER_00
And the thrust of the premise of this sketch was that he had a fan club.
2
SPEAKER_00
And they were all batshit crazy.
2
SPEAKER_00
By the way, how s swearing on this show?
2
SPEAKER_01
Fine.
2
SPEAKER_01
He was sort of a heavyset, innocuous show that wasn t a huge hit, but it was sort of middle of the road.
2
SPEAKER_01
That was part of the funniness, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
That he wasn t some huge star.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s kind of corny and sweet.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was like Mr. Belding or something.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know what I mean?
2
SPEAKER_01
Not even as popular.
2
SPEAKER_01
And his fans were batshit crazy.
2
SPEAKER_00
They re really crazy.
2
SPEAKER_00
And Dave s right, they, over someone that no one really pays much attention to, but they would have, and Tom Hanks sort of would, he would moderate the fan club and they would do exercises like, okay, next up, you know, we have to figure out if we ever see Mr. Belvedere in real life, how do we act around him?
2
SPEAKER_00
I see, okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
And they all talk themselves into, okay, we do not go crazy.
2
SPEAKER_00
We do not try to like cut his hair off, save his hair for the rest of our lives.
2
SPEAKER_00
And it was pretty funny.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was a little dark because one of the things was Phil Hartman saying, I will not try to tear the flesh, wear the flesh, be born into new worlds where his flesh becomes my tea.
2
SPEAKER_00
Satanic.
2
SPEAKER_00
And it s like dark and nuts and crazy.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I thought, okay, this might get a few laughs.
2
SPEAKER_00
It just blew the roof off, which again, the rush of that, we ve all done.
2
SPEAKER_02
Who were the fan freaks?
2
SPEAKER_02
Did you have Rob in there or Dave or Sandler?
2
SPEAKER_02
Who were the fan freaks besides Phil?
2
SPEAKER_00
It was a full cast sketch, which apparently everyone said- Those are great.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Everybody was in it.
2
SPEAKER_02
Because you have an A team of really funny people.
2
SPEAKER_02
So I guess everybody probably crushed on there when it was their turn.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
You give everyone a question or an answer and they get to go score one line or whatever.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s great.
2
SPEAKER_00
Right.
2
SPEAKER_00
And sometimes they ll put up with it, too.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know, like the giant stars like being in those.
2
SPEAKER_00
They might not want to do one line, but this was sort of funny.
2
SPEAKER_00
So like for you, I would have.
2
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
2
SPEAKER_00
See, he s so cool.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
And it was a full sketch.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then they it was.
2
SPEAKER_00
You re right.
2
SPEAKER_00
They all got to sort of hit a little bit.
2
SPEAKER_00
Farley had some funny to do.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then, of course, they all make it funnier.
2
SPEAKER_00
What s that?
2
SPEAKER_02
It was Farley s nickname was Surefire.
2
SPEAKER_00
Surefire, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, he just had a gear and had a thing he did that like, you can t not.
2
SPEAKER_01
He will find a voice or a movement.
2
SPEAKER_01
Just when they go, when Seinfeld was a teacher and we were all in the class, we were dumb.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he goes, uh, you know, I m going to ask you one question.
2
SPEAKER_01
And Farley sticks his hand up and he goes, and it s not,
2
SPEAKER_01
you know, can you go to the bathroom?
2
SPEAKER_01
And then he slowly pulls his hand down.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, but he doesn t, he doesn t these three jerky movements where you re like, all you had to do is put your hand down, but he does it in such a weird way that it gives a huge laugh and you go, God damn.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s kind of what I m talking about is like the thing that people have where you can t teach it.
2
SPEAKER_00
There s no way you can say, Oh, when you put your hand down.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, I guess it s a step process.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
It just is natural.
2
SPEAKER_02
He made it look like a guy just having fun, but he was extremely bright about that and very clever with the use of his body.
2
SPEAKER_02
I remember Mike Meyers saying once in Second City, he could just destroy.
2
SPEAKER_02
with his character for like a half hour.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then Chris would just kind of lower his chin or do something with his body.
2
SPEAKER_02
And it was just game over.
2
SPEAKER_02
The entire thing was destroyed.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s like, oh, he did like his, maybe a skipper from Gilligan s Island.
2
SPEAKER_01
Whatever his move was.
2
SPEAKER_01
Not to go back to Farley, but you know, Fred, you, I don t want to, I don t want to not talk about Mr. Belvedere, but first of all, Hanks is very cool for having a sort of dark sketch and wanting to do it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Cause he could have killed it.
2
SPEAKER_01
But even though it did well, sometimes they go, ah, it s not for me, but that he s cool that way.
2
SPEAKER_01
Uh, and the sketch killed on the air.
2
SPEAKER_01
I wanted to say when you did, there was two Farley ones you did.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think you wrote polar bear maybe.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then you wrote falls in the ice hole.
2
SPEAKER_01
What was- Yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Little Women.
2
SPEAKER_00
Little Women.
2
SPEAKER_00
That was it.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was in that.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think it was me and David Hyde Pierce, maybe.
2
SPEAKER_01
Or maybe it was him.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was.
2
SPEAKER_00
David Hyde Pierce.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was him, not me.
2
SPEAKER_01
I thought he was me.
2
SPEAKER_01
But it was all like everyone s acting all hoofy doofy from Little Women and Farley s.
2
SPEAKER_01
If Farley starts out that way.
2
SPEAKER_00
Right.
2
SPEAKER_00
Your plum pudding is ever so scrumptious.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s for a talk.
2
SPEAKER_00
And as soon as he falls through the ice, he s like, whoa, pull me out of here.
2
SPEAKER_02
You fucking whore.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
You bitch.
2
SPEAKER_02
What are you looking at?
2
SPEAKER_02
Stop with your.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
I remember that.
2
SPEAKER_02
So that s, yeah, that s a great use of far.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
If he could swear, it would be a whole nother dimension because his voice when it s booming like that.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Ian, Max and Graham gave me this.
2
SPEAKER_00
They were all making fun of me because every sketch that I would write in Farley yelling and all caps.
2
SPEAKER_00
Ian, Max and Graham sent me this little graph and it said, like, Fred Wolfe writing for us now.
2
SPEAKER_00
And it had, like, these three gauges, one Farley star and then the one gauge set on soft voice, medium voice, screaming.
2
SPEAKER_00
And the dial set on screaming.
2
SPEAKER_00
And the second was slightly wet, soaking wet, screaming.
2
SPEAKER_01
Even when, so the audience knows Fred wrote a ton of movies that I was in also, like Tommy Boy and Black Sheep, Dickie Roberts.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, let s make sure that s emphasized.
2
SPEAKER_01
With Farley, sometimes he would yell and you d put it in all caps.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m like, Fred, do we need to bother typing in all caps here?
2
SPEAKER_01
I think.
2
SPEAKER_01
He falls down the hill for three minutes or eight minutes and goes, I, he s screaming.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s like, don t worry.
2
SPEAKER_02
He ll take care of that part.
2
SPEAKER_02
That was one.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
I 18 eyes, five E s.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, actually I do.
2
SPEAKER_00
I actually wanted this.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
I wanted to say something about that too, but should I just do the, uh, I just wanted to kind of say the finale of Belvedere.
2
SPEAKER_00
Cause I want to just say how, how, yeah, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, I,
2
SPEAKER_00
What a loser I am.
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, that s your, that s like your first born or something.
2
SPEAKER_02
I mean, that is a huge dealer sketch on us.
2
SPEAKER_02
No, that s like the confidence of that.
2
SPEAKER_02
But it was pretty cool.
2
SPEAKER_00
And by the way, uh, I, I love talking about farther.
2
SPEAKER_00
So here I m saying like, Oh, no, it s still my way here, the show here.
2
SPEAKER_00
But, uh, I just want to finish up with the, we ll get, we ll get to more Chris and the movies you did with Chris and David.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, sure.
2
SPEAKER_02
But I m on, I m on a Belvedere state of mind.
2
SPEAKER_00
We re all back now.
2
SPEAKER_00
Here we are back in Belvedere.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_02
Slipped into a little Dennis Miller there.
2
SPEAKER_02
We re doing 12 minutes on the Belvedere.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s a good podcast.
2
SPEAKER_02
Is the fly still on the wall?
2
SPEAKER_01
Fly just blew his fucking brains out, guy.
2
SPEAKER_02
Can t do Dennis enough, love his attitude, the character of Dennis as well.
2
SPEAKER_02
So what happened with Belvedere before we get lost here?
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, so again, so we do the Belvedere, and then the musical guest, don t worry, this goes wrong, this goes horribly wrong, so let me puff myself up for a second here.
2
SPEAKER_01
I did not want a happy ending.
2
SPEAKER_01
Thank God.
2
SPEAKER_01
Go ahead.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes, I know.
2
SPEAKER_00
Sweating.
2
SPEAKER_00
Is he actually going to say something happy?
2
SPEAKER_00
But no, so it was Bruce Springsteen was a musical guest and I allies to dude.
2
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_00
I had three posters on the wall, every word of darkness on edge of town, all that.
2
SPEAKER_00
And there he was, he s out there while they re doing, while Hanks and them are doing my sketch.
2
SPEAKER_00
And he s out there and I don t know, should I watch my sketch, which is the coolest thing that ever happened in my life, or should I watch Springsteen like just pretending to warm up his guitar?
2
SPEAKER_00
Because he s standing there getting ready to do his song.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I go, I m going for Springsteen.
2
SPEAKER_00
But I m just watching him in the dark there.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know how they have the lights off?
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, on the music while he s getting ready, but he s in the dark.
2
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
2
SPEAKER_00
Not to pull focus.
2
SPEAKER_01
His strap set, his tuner.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
but I m staring at him and he s laughing.
2
SPEAKER_00
I see him laughing.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m like, there s no, he s laughing at his guitar string.
2
SPEAKER_00
Just did something funny.
2
SPEAKER_00
And it turns out that maybe he was laughing at the sketch.
2
SPEAKER_00
I ll tell you.
2
SPEAKER_00
So, so the sketch goes on and it does, it does well.
2
SPEAKER_00
It does great.
2
SPEAKER_00
It blows the roof off.
2
SPEAKER_00
It did really not, it was really good.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then after, uh, Hanks came up to me and he said it was great and all that sort of stuff.
2
SPEAKER_00
And, uh, just, it was like bedlam Giuliani came up to me, uh,
2
SPEAKER_00
Dana, who s the LSD guy from San Francisco?
2
SPEAKER_02
Timothy Leary.
2
SPEAKER_00
Leary was there?
2
SPEAKER_02
God, what a cavalcade of characters.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I asked Dana Davies just because Dana knows San Francisco.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s the only reason I asked.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m young.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know that much.
2
SPEAKER_00
Plus, he knows everything.
2
SPEAKER_00
So, uh, yeah, so he came up to me and they re just all that was a funny sketch, funny sketch.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then Springsteen came walking up and I m like, what the fuck is happening here?
2
SPEAKER_00
What the hell?
2
SPEAKER_00
He s coming closer.
2
SPEAKER_00
He s coming to meet what?
2
SPEAKER_00
And he goes, Hey, that s good.
2
SPEAKER_00
Really funny.
2
SPEAKER_00
He told me he wrote it.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s not a good spring scene at all, by the way.
2
SPEAKER_02
Um, and I ll do a pinch hit there.
2
SPEAKER_02
They, they told me that that s good.
2
SPEAKER_02
Sure.
2
SPEAKER_02
It was funny.
2
SPEAKER_02
They told me you wrote it.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s it.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s it.
2
SPEAKER_00
All right.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s it.
2
SPEAKER_00
You re you re you re.
3
SPEAKER_02
He s a bit grumpy old man.
3
SPEAKER_02
I was a little too deep on that one.
3
SPEAKER_00
So, so your sketch kills.
3
SPEAKER_00
Springsteen s your best friend.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, go ahead.
3
SPEAKER_00
We met, uh, I said, actually you and I met, uh, Bruce back in the Hollywood YMCA.
3
SPEAKER_00
And he goes, oh yeah, that used to be my spot.
3
SPEAKER_00
And he was lifting weights for us.
3
SPEAKER_00
Were you on the other side of that glory hole?
3
SPEAKER_00
I was on the side of the margin.
3
SPEAKER_01
You re like, we didn t really meet face to face.
3
SPEAKER_02
I used to follow you in the bench press.
3
SPEAKER_02
I had to put a lot more weight on it.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, you used to tell me you d see him at the Y, honestly, back then.
3
SPEAKER_02
He got into weights heavily, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, he did.
3
SPEAKER_00
He said that, he told me, my friend Bruce, he told me that working out for three and a half hours, lifting weights and stuff, was nothing compared to a concert.
3
SPEAKER_00
He said after a concert, he s wrung out like crazy.
3
SPEAKER_00
I kind of believe them because anything you say, I think that s true.
3
SPEAKER_02
I think that s true.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
And by the way, he told me that he goes, I can t believe they made me take my picture for the YMCA ID.
3
SPEAKER_00
And like, he was not offended.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Right.
3
SPEAKER_00
But he said, people shouldn t know who I am.
3
SPEAKER_00
Probably in my head.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m thinking, you know, who the hell are you?
3
SPEAKER_00
Take your picture.
3
SPEAKER_00
Why complain?
3
SPEAKER_00
No, but so, so he said it was good.
3
SPEAKER_00
And he said, nice.
3
SPEAKER_00
And he started talking and then like everyone s cluster around me.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then Jim Downey walked by and said, uh, good sketch young man.
3
SPEAKER_00
Those are the four words he said there.
3
SPEAKER_00
And, uh, I was walking on air and I thought like, Oh, suddenly I m like, I m like, Oh, right.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m cool.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know?
3
SPEAKER_02
All right.
3
SPEAKER_02
So this is my request.
3
SPEAKER_02
I just want to go backwards for like three seconds because I, if I was listening to this, I d be like, Oh, Fred Wolf.
3
SPEAKER_02
He was in the clubs.
3
SPEAKER_02
Uh, then he knew David and Rob, and now he wrote this sketch, but,
3
SPEAKER_02
If you could just like, you have some just great one-liners or very short things you ve done, you have in your standup.
3
SPEAKER_02
Kind of, can you just give us, unless you can t remember.
3
SPEAKER_01
I ll give you some.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like three classic, because I think it would set the table for why, as a standup, Fred was really strong, but then as a writer, it was even stronger, because you had wrote great stuff.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s hard to write great jokes.
3
SPEAKER_02
David, do you have one of a Fred Wolff classic?
3
SPEAKER_01
I know one he did.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Here s one.
3
SPEAKER_01
Do you remember this little number?
3
SPEAKER_01
So this club is great.
3
SPEAKER_01
They re so nice to me.
3
SPEAKER_01
They actually sent a limo to pick me up.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was a really big limo.
3
SPEAKER_01
It had a bar in it.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was a gay bar, but still.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s just a good joke.
3
SPEAKER_01
Is that close to what it was?
3
SPEAKER_00
Very good.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
And of course it s funnier when you guys say it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay, here s another one.
3
SPEAKER_01
I went to the dentist and the guy goes, I have to extract your teeth, your back molar.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I m gonna have to, I m gonna cut a four inch hole in your cheek and then I m gonna pry it open and then I m gonna dig in there and get it.
3
SPEAKER_01
And he goes, can I just open my mouth?
3
SPEAKER_01
And he goes, well, I know the first way it works.
3
SPEAKER_02
See, those are very skilled.
3
SPEAKER_01
Those are short too.
3
SPEAKER_01
They re like, boom, boom.
3
SPEAKER_01
You could open with those too.
3
SPEAKER_01
You woke up with a spider in your bed?
3
SPEAKER_01
I woke up with a spider in my bed.
3
SPEAKER_00
I thought, man, I must have really been drunk last night.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I slept with my pillow over my head and woke up the next morning, all my teeth were gone.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was a $10 bill there.
3
Teeth, teeth.
3
SPEAKER_00
I went on in Montana, I did stand up there a month ago or so, missing a tooth, my bottom tooth.
3
SPEAKER_00
Every tooth joke destroyed.
3
SPEAKER_02
Because it was connected to you missing the bottom tooth, you pointed that out.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was one of them.
3
SPEAKER_02
Anyway, so that s why you were able to become a great writer because you had some great writing, training, and stand-up.
3
SPEAKER_02
And stand-up is the ultimate, you can t play around.
3
SPEAKER_02
You either get a laugh or you don t.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s very painful when you don t get a laugh.
3
SPEAKER_01
And you can read a joke packet, you can read two jokes and go, he s got some game.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, it s very, you can tell very quickly if something is clicking.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I m sure we, we probably read Mr. Belvedere first, me and Rob, and just in our minimal experience there thought, this is at least good enough to go to the next level.
3
SPEAKER_01
Or we would have stopped you there and said, do you have anything else?
3
SPEAKER_01
You know what I mean?
3
SPEAKER_01
It was great.
3
SPEAKER_01
So give it a downy, because that s a big thing to give it a downy.
3
SPEAKER_01
You get one swing.
3
SPEAKER_01
If he doesn t like it, you re not going to get another one read probably.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s right.
3
SPEAKER_00
And you guys were nice enough to tell me that.
3
SPEAKER_01
What was the sad part about the end of Felony?
3
SPEAKER_00
So it did great.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I fully expect there to be more to the story usually in my life.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I m not like a sad sack.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m just saying it doesn t come easy a lot of times because of low self-esteem and so forth.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I was walking on air.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I thought this is like the coolest thing I think I ve ever experienced, you know, of this nature.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then I, everyone was saying, oh, you re going to come back as a guest writer.
3
SPEAKER_00
That was great.
3
SPEAKER_00
No guest writer has ever gotten a sketch on supposedly at that point.
3
SPEAKER_00
And this was top of the show sketch and did well, and people seemed to like it.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so I thought, okay, and this was towards the end of that season.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so the next season would start like over the summer would pass and so forth.
3
SPEAKER_00
And once a year hired, you re hired, there s no, wow, this is so great.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s going to be so fun having you out there.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then September rolls around and nothing, like crickets.
3
SPEAKER_00
Nothing even by September, you already should have known by then.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh boy.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like you were going back and Sandler and a couple, you know, they were saying like, yeah, we re heading out.
3
SPEAKER_00
When are you coming out?
3
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_00
You guys were so nice about it, but we all assumed.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so when you assume and you make an ass of you and me, but I called Kenny Amon, who I ve gotten to know since this phone call.
3
SPEAKER_02
Hey David.
3
SPEAKER_02
The producer, SNL, kind of took care of everything.
3
SPEAKER_00
When Jim Downey was on your guys  show, did Dave do his impression of Jim Downey, by any chance?
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t remember mine.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, it was so great because I said, Jim, you got to see Dave do that.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, he didn t like it.
3
SPEAKER_00
I know, he s worried.
3
SPEAKER_00
I do this, I know, I do this.
3
SPEAKER_00
I go, no, no, it s how you close your office door and turn to walk away.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s what it is.
3
SPEAKER_02
With the keys and the, yeah, yeah, physical.
3
SPEAKER_00
And he looks back.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes, yes, Dana s right, with the keys.
3
SPEAKER_00
Dana s right, with the keys and all that.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yes, and looking around, reaching for the keys and looking around like he s going, he s trying to hide in that office.
3
SPEAKER_00
And the one foot is pigeon-toed.
3
SPEAKER_00
The one foot, slightly pigeon-toed.
3
SPEAKER_00
You got the whole thing.
3
SPEAKER_00
And even Danny loved it.
3
SPEAKER_00
He actually said he loved it.
3
SPEAKER_00
So, so anyway, so I called Kenny Aemang, the producer, right?
3
SPEAKER_00
Because I said, well, am I coming in?
3
SPEAKER_00
And he goes, oh no, Fred, they re not bringing you back.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I go, oh, oh.
3
SPEAKER_00
Really?
3
SPEAKER_01
I like you have to ask, you re like, are we still dating?
3
SPEAKER_01
He s like, no, we broke up three months ago.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I felt silly.
3
SPEAKER_02
Just for a second, Fred, can I ask you a question?
3
SPEAKER_02
So Belvedere is on like in February, March, or was it toward the end of the season?
3
SPEAKER_00
I think it was like the third to last show, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
And so in the final shows, you didn t get anything on then, or what happened in the post-Belvedere shows?
3
SPEAKER_00
Actually, thanks for asking, because they did bring me back for another two weeks.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then I wrote a sketch that almost made it to dress, but they said something like, hold it.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is good, but hold it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Let s not fiddle with it so much.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s actually part of the story a little bit.
3
SPEAKER_00
But so thank you for asking.
3
SPEAKER_00
And thanks for setting it up.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s true.
3
SPEAKER_00
So, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
So when I talked to him later, when I got to know him,
3
SPEAKER_00
I said, yeah, you re kind of brutal on the phone there.
3
SPEAKER_00
Uh, he goes, I had to rip the bandaid off, man.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ve had to do that call so many times.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s really rough to say, no, we hate you.
3
SPEAKER_00
He s the mess.
3
SPEAKER_00
He s just a messenger.
3
SPEAKER_02
So, and as, as anyone would stay, if they were telling this story to a 10 year old and then what happened?
3
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
3
SPEAKER_00
So when he said that, I hung up the phone.
3
SPEAKER_00
And at this point, I had bought my mother s house for her.
3
SPEAKER_00
She was losing her house up there in Montana, a log cabin store.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so I had no cash at all.
3
SPEAKER_00
So my girlfriend at the time, now my wife,
3
SPEAKER_00
She said, why don t you move in with me to help pay the bills and all that stuff.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I did.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I kind of thought I was going to be working there.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I didn t really have a job and so forth.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I went out and started doing stand up and I was really bummed out.
3
SPEAKER_00
But a week later,
3
SPEAKER_00
I said, there s two ways to go here.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s the top of the top of the top.
3
SPEAKER_00
And there I was for a second.
3
SPEAKER_00
I could kind of just give up to stand up and just open a dry cleaner one day or something.
3
SPEAKER_00
Or maybe I ll keep trying to write sketches.
3
SPEAKER_00
And this is where Davey and Rob and Adam and those guys came in and they were giving me encouragement and stuff.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I read their sketch and say, hey, what about this one?
3
SPEAKER_00
But then about halfway through the season that I was not back at,
3
SPEAKER_00
I got a call from Rob Schneider between dress and air.
3
SPEAKER_00
He said, we just did the sketch that you wrote when you were here as a guest writer.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was called stoop rank outs.
3
SPEAKER_00
And we just did it.
3
SPEAKER_00
And you re not going to believe what happened.
3
SPEAKER_00
Stu Brankouts, the host with Joe Pesci and Scorsese and Robert De Niro came by to visit Pesci and they jumped into your sketch.
3
SPEAKER_00
And they were two of the guys that walked.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was insane.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was so cool.
3
SPEAKER_00
The premise was, it was Pesci and Adam Sandler, I think on the steps and everyone walking by, they would have some insult to say.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s like New York City.
3
SPEAKER_00
I grew up in New York City.
3
SPEAKER_01
Making fun of them when they walked by.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Hey, such and such called.
3
SPEAKER_00
They went through such and such back.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was based on my New York City experiences.
3
SPEAKER_00
So in that sketch that I had written before I knew Pesci would ever do it or anything like that, I had written that one of the guys walking by that got insulted said, you guys are assholes.
3
SPEAKER_00
And one of these days, a real rain is going to come and wash all the scum off the streets, and you re going to be the scum.
4
SPEAKER_02
And that line is directly from taxi driver, my favorite movie of all time.
4
SPEAKER_02
So I was sketching their business and with Pesci and who s out there to does that.
4
SPEAKER_02
Shut the fuck up as fucking crazy.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s like there s a 7 billion people on this planet.
4
SPEAKER_02
The two people.
4
SPEAKER_02
that did that line that I wrote, oh my God, it was Scortese and De Niro.
4
SPEAKER_02
What the fuck?
4
SPEAKER_00
That s awesome.
4
SPEAKER_00
Man.
4
SPEAKER_00
I started crying.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s a chills.
4
SPEAKER_00
But by the way, Bill Hader, we ve heard from a couple of guests that Taxi Driver is their, that s their movie.
4
SPEAKER_00
their first love, so it s interesting you bring it up as well, but to have De Niro say the line in your sketch when Kenny said you weren t coming back and then Schneider calls you, probably sounds like this, you re never gonna believe what just happened.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, sorry.
4
SPEAKER_00
Let me finish, don t talk over me.
4
SPEAKER_00
Springsteen called me at home during that.
4
SPEAKER_00
He goes, I think this is Fred s.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think they re using Fred s, Dana.
4
SPEAKER_00
So anyway, go ahead.
4
SPEAKER_01
Timothy Leary called and said, there s a flying elephant.
4
SPEAKER_00
Timothy Leary.
4
SPEAKER_01
You re like, and then Bruce Springsteen put me on his shoulders again and sang, for he s a jolly good fellow.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m like, no one really confirmed that part.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m like, well, that was over backed by the, uh.
4
SPEAKER_00
He made it, I made my fingers move a little bit.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I asked Fred, what chord is this?
4
SPEAKER_00
And he says, it s a G7 minor.
4
SPEAKER_01
No, Fred found out later that Bruce Springsteen s guitar string did say something funny to him, and that s what he was laughing at.
4
SPEAKER_02
Everyone now knows why I hung on you guys  coattails.
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God.
4
SPEAKER_01
Not at all.
4
SPEAKER_01
So that s a Cinderella story.
4
SPEAKER_01
So then what happens?
4
SPEAKER_01
But do you get called in for that one?
4
SPEAKER_01
Do you get called like, Hey, we re doing- You get rehired, right?
4
SPEAKER_01
And you get rehired.
4
SPEAKER_02
Well, so that s the good part.
4
SPEAKER_02
I almost didn t care at this point because those guys did my lines.
4
SPEAKER_02
But no, again, silence.
4
SPEAKER_02
No, no, nothing.
4
SPEAKER_02
And Rob is the only one who told me it ever happened.
4
SPEAKER_02
And so it didn t make a show.
4
SPEAKER_02
It got cut for lots of reasons.
4
SPEAKER_00
What?
4
SPEAKER_00
It didn t make the show with De Niro doing a cameo?
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I think, I think there was other, I think there was reasons.
4
SPEAKER_02
How did they botch it?
4
SPEAKER_02
God has a plan.
4
SPEAKER_02
So, you know, let him do his thing.
4
SPEAKER_02
Let him do his thing.
4
SPEAKER_02
Don t insult God.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Why are you mad at God?
4
SPEAKER_01
Hell, you ve got to love him, Bobby.
4
SPEAKER_02
But, uh, and Marty, and by the way, Rob was so great.
4
SPEAKER_02
So the fact that he called and said all that stuff, he was kind of recounting the whole thing, blah, blah, blah.
4
SPEAKER_02
And he goes, I gotta go.
4
SPEAKER_02
I gotta go.
4
SPEAKER_02
We re going to air.
4
SPEAKER_02
So by that time, uh, he probably knew it was cut.
4
SPEAKER_02
He didn t tell me.
4
SPEAKER_02
So anyway, that was like about midway through the next season, and I wasn t there, and I go, man, that gives me hope, though, that they actually remember me.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I was talking to Davey, like, Dave, we talked like at least twice a week, and- Very close, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
All the skinny and stuff, and what s going on.
4
SPEAKER_00
We re all really, really good friends.
4
SPEAKER_00
We haven t seen each other since the pandemic, just so the audience knows.
4
SPEAKER_00
We re all very, we ve worked together extensively, and we ll get to that.
4
SPEAKER_02
That s right, that s right.
4
SPEAKER_02
And yes, and my two idols, actually,
4
SPEAKER_02
There s five of you guys.
4
SPEAKER_02
There s three Beatles on the line.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m guessing the other three, ready?
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
Or should I not say it?
4
SPEAKER_02
Maybe not, is that okay?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, because you ll have to say someone isn t and that ll make you feel worse.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, thanks.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s true.
4
SPEAKER_01
But if Dana and I made the two out of five, that s good if that s true.
4
SPEAKER_02
I said the five on stage in front of Joder too, and I felt so stupid because whatever.
4
SPEAKER_00
How do you get permanently hired on S.L.
4
SPEAKER_00
as a writer?
4
SPEAKER_00
The plot is thickening now.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay, well, thanks.
4
SPEAKER_01
You can t get it with those two.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s like, does anyone have hope?
4
SPEAKER_02
So I did start thinking like, okay, what s up here?
4
SPEAKER_02
And so this was kind of cool too.
4
SPEAKER_01
What do you want from me?
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, exactly.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m so good.
4
SPEAKER_01
Why don t you see me?
4
SPEAKER_01
Dubbed two for two.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s right.
4
SPEAKER_00
Kind of.
4
SPEAKER_00
Springsteen called Lorne.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if there s anything there.
4
SPEAKER_00
Something that kid s got something, I swear to God.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m Bruce Springsteen.
4
SPEAKER_01
No, Springsteen said, I know you need him in New York, but I need him on the other side of that glory hole in L.A.
4
SPEAKER_01
Glory hole.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, smart list did 20 minutes on it.
4
SPEAKER_00
As I was like, holy tomatoes.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m a little bit of a prude, but I don t, I don t mind fucking swear words.
4
SPEAKER_00
So Fred, how d you get hired on this fucker?
4
SPEAKER_02
Okay, sorry.
4
SPEAKER_02
So here we go.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m in trouble now.
4
SPEAKER_02
Uh, so, so, so they, uh, uh, still real sounds.
4
SPEAKER_02
I never, I had never really talked to Jim down.
4
SPEAKER_02
He was out there like, uh, you know, he s, he s a man, he s the Oz, he s the guy, brilliant writer, a lot of stuff.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_02
He s incredible and, uh, smart as hell.
4
SPEAKER_02
So I figured, okay, he doesn t want to talk to somebody dumb.
4
SPEAKER_02
Cause you know how that, that could work.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Water finds his own level.
4
SPEAKER_02
He didn t want to find my level.
4
SPEAKER_02
So I started kind of thinking, okay, there might be an opening here now.
4
SPEAKER_02
So then I started writing sketches and started sending them to Downey.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I ll never know if he read them or not, but I kind of got a little bit of hope and I was working and I still wasn t able to get a job just to kind of, you know, I did stamp and so forth, but still broke and all that sort of stuff.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then about four months pass and the next season is gonna start happening in about a month or so.
4
SPEAKER_02
And this is like so hard to believe what I m gonna tell you guys.
4
SPEAKER_02
And it s like a huge brag, I can t help it.
4
SPEAKER_02
I love this.
4
SPEAKER_02
In one day.
4
SPEAKER_02
Own it, brother.
4
SPEAKER_02
Seven, what s that?
4
SPEAKER_00
Own it, brother.
4
SPEAKER_02
Okay, I am, again, it s providential in some way, is I got, in one day, in a seven hour period, I got three phone calls
4
SPEAKER_02
One, the first one was, um, Chevy chase called me on the phone Chevy chase.
4
SPEAKER_02
He had a new show talk show, and he wanted to know if I want to be a writer.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I said, yes, sir, I do.
4
SPEAKER_02
And so I hung up the phone going, I got a job and switch Chevy chase.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I realized that guy, then the phone rang about two hours later and it was, uh, smuggled saying, do you want to come right on the Conan O Brien show?
4
SPEAKER_02
They were just starting that show late night.
4
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
4
SPEAKER_02
Michael s been champ.
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God.
4
SPEAKER_02
I couldn t believe it.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I go, Oh damn, I m working for Chevy chase.
4
SPEAKER_02
And, um, my God, I can t believe you called me.
4
SPEAKER_02
Then two hours later, Jim Downey called me, all in one day, all in a seven hour period.
4
SPEAKER_02
Downey called.
4
SPEAKER_02
We were thinking about bringing you out to work on Saturday Night Live as a writer.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I said, oh my God in heaven, I want you so bad.
4
SPEAKER_02
I said yes to Chevy Chase.
4
SPEAKER_02
And Downey actually on his end got out a calculator, he said, and told me what I would make on the show and all that sort of stuff.
4
SPEAKER_02
And he said, I think you might be better off out here in terms of the sound and all that stuff.
4
SPEAKER_02
He was actually trying to talk me into it.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m like, what the fuck happened here?
4
SPEAKER_02
But because I said yes to the almighty Chevy, I did that show.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I did that for about 11 weeks.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then it got canceled.
4
SPEAKER_02
And the next day, literally the next day.
4
SPEAKER_02
I got on a plane and I flew out there and I got to Theron Lab.
4
SPEAKER_02
Okay, one last thing to wrap it up.
4
SPEAKER_00
So you blew off Conan?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, fuck yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, Conan and Smigel is a great combo to say no, but you, one day before you would have, of course dove with that.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
And to be fair, I didn t know Conan that well, so I didn t know if he was going to like my stuff, but Snaggle was like, yeah, he was that passionate.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, you had an SNL, that s the thing.
4
SPEAKER_00
Conan was beginning his superstar career at that point.
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
And so just to kind of put the little cap on the end of it, so I flew out there and I was so excited.
4
SPEAKER_02
Of course, I was there and heard about Seren Life.
4
SPEAKER_02
And in my first week, I will say this, my first week, oh, the show had already started too, because Chevy was on for 11 weeks, like I said.
4
SPEAKER_02
And the show started, and my first week there, like everyone was going, hi, welcome back, welcome back.
4
SPEAKER_02
And there s new writers there and all sorts of stuff.
4
SPEAKER_02
And the first show was, I forget who the host was, but I put sketches in, and there were 20-page sketches, and those are bad, 20 pages.
4
SPEAKER_02
It ate it so hard, it got no laughs, the first sketch.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then Lauren came to the second sketch in the pile of 45 sketches.
4
SPEAKER_02
And he s moving on and he put my sketch in the back of the pile.
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh, oh, oh.
4
SPEAKER_02
And people were not looking at me after Dave talked to me.
4
SPEAKER_00
Rob talked to me.
4
SPEAKER_02
Adam talked to me.
4
SPEAKER_00
So it was the bad boys who were still there.
4
SPEAKER_00
There was still Farley, Sandler, Spade.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yes, yes.
4
SPEAKER_02
And they all talked to me, but a lot of people didn t talk to me because they thought, oh, this is a guy that they flew out.
4
SPEAKER_02
This is a guy they were talking about.
4
SPEAKER_02
So it tanked and all that stuff.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then the next week, luckily, and just to finish the story, I put in something for Christian Slater and got on the show and it did great and everything was fine.
4
SPEAKER_01
Was it dysfunctional family feud?
4
SPEAKER_01
No, but man, is that funny?
4
SPEAKER_01
That was funny.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
No, it was.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it was a photograph store or something like that.
4
SPEAKER_02
But it was just fun.
4
SPEAKER_02
And there I was.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I was super happy.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I met you guys.
4
SPEAKER_01
Remember Fred, we wrote the heroin store.
4
SPEAKER_01
Was that me and you?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Where all the, all the windows were taped up with aluminum foil and everyone was on heroin.
4
SPEAKER_01
Every time someone opens the door to come in.
4
SPEAKER_02
Hey, come on.
4
SPEAKER_02
And that s where you, you had in there, it s written in there.
4
SPEAKER_02
You had, uh, we need more cowbell.
4
SPEAKER_02
They were writing a song.
4
SPEAKER_02
The heroin guys were, they re writing a song at the store.
4
SPEAKER_02
And, uh, and you re, you re lying.
4
SPEAKER_02
I remember saying, uh, one guy says we need more cowbell.
4
SPEAKER_02
There s no way that Farrell heard that, but you said it first.
4
SPEAKER_02
We need more cowbell.
4
SPEAKER_02
I always remember that.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m gonna get will on the line here as we Yes, no, he didn t he wasn t there then so he didn t hear that but you had a great run and and I think Fred we Chris Rock left then Adam and Chris left and then I I Left and I think you stayed a year and you were bumped a head writer
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that was really cool.
5
SPEAKER_00
So yes, that s exactly how it happened.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I had a few years there and you and I did a few movies and so forth.
5
SPEAKER_00
And so this is actually kind of funny.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I was- Can I have a question?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yes, sir.
5
SPEAKER_02
About those few years.
5
SPEAKER_02
So did you, you became adapted to the show?
5
SPEAKER_02
You learned, you re like, oh, this is the kind of sketch that works on this show.
5
SPEAKER_02
I mean, you must ve had a huge learning curve to become a head writer.
5
SPEAKER_02
Because then you have to manage people.
5
SPEAKER_02
I mean, all of a sudden, you re a head writer from having a rough time getting on the show.
5
SPEAKER_02
Was it like a three-year period where you must have really mastered the show?
5
SPEAKER_02
They don t make anyone head writer.
5
SPEAKER_02
That s a big deal.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s nice you say that.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I will say, to pat my own back, yes, I kind of stared really hard at every sketch and just said, I wonder how this will go.
5
SPEAKER_00
I wonder what Danny would think of this.
5
SPEAKER_00
I wonder how this, why did that get this?
5
SPEAKER_00
book, I mean, why is this, why this click and so forth.
5
SPEAKER_00
And it was a very fun thing to do.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s like one of the only things I actually can do.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_00
Which is sort of analyze something and say, okay, this it s, it s funny because Dave and I have talked about this before in Tommy boy, the, the scene that blew the roof off in front of test audiences was a deer waking up in the car and trashing the car and the audience, they just went nuts when they saw that.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then when Farley is putting on Davey s jacket, fat guy, a little coat,
5
SPEAKER_00
Test audiences, they go, uh-huh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
But then like 20 years later, you ask people about Tommy Boy, and they ll say Fat Guy in a Low Coat.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s what like lives on.
5
SPEAKER_00
There s something else.
5
SPEAKER_01
They remember the most throwaway jokes.
5
SPEAKER_01
They have to see it so many times, and then it changes of what s their favorite.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
And plus also there s gut laughter and then there s that thinking laughter.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then it s just as like a jack candy sketch, for instance, just has that just beautiful thoughts in there.
5
SPEAKER_00
And this, you might not laugh out loud like crazy, but there s just something about them that stay with you.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I would study those.
5
SPEAKER_00
I would study Dana.
5
SPEAKER_00
Dana, I would study, when Dana did Tom Brokaw, for instance, one of the funniest things I ve ever heard, just the voice, the cadence, and why would they get a laugh?
5
SPEAKER_00
Someone else doing Tom Brokaw, me doing Tom Brokaw, nothing, zero.
5
SPEAKER_00
And so, there was just something about it, and I would study that.
5
SPEAKER_00
I had Davey s voice in my head, or we have the same sort of background, same, almost same number of brothers.
5
SPEAKER_00
Now, Dave s got two brothers, I had three.
5
SPEAKER_00
But, and we re both from a certain type of background, I kind of knew his thought processes, I knew why he was funny, because he has that voice, that cadence, and so forth.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I wouldn t know, like, Adam Sandler, I d say, OK, what is it about him?
5
SPEAKER_00
Why is he special?
5
SPEAKER_00
What is going on there?
5
SPEAKER_00
What s happening?
5
SPEAKER_00
And you start saying, OK, I could tailor it towards that, tailor it towards this, or I could do something a little bit out of the ordinary.
5
SPEAKER_00
And it s the one show, I think, that was on TV at that time that just had something interesting going on where it wasn t, as Lauren would say, we re not doing Carol Burnett.
5
SPEAKER_00
He would say he loved that show.
5
SPEAKER_00
But we re doing something where it might be a little bit odd here and there, the five to one piece.
5
SPEAKER_00
Remember we d call those the.
5
SPEAKER_01
At the end of the show, it could be, it would be a gamble piece that might not work.
5
SPEAKER_00
Right.
5
SPEAKER_00
And it would be a soft, quiet piece or whatever, but they take a chance on, they just put it out there.
5
SPEAKER_00
And some people would love those pieces.
5
SPEAKER_00
I had the cult following.
5
SPEAKER_00
So, so yeah, Dana, to answer your question.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, there was like a.
5
SPEAKER_02
And then all of a sudden you re writing, by the way, Downey used to always say, he didn t like bits that played to the, we call the Yahoo.
5
SPEAKER_02
So the people who.
5
SPEAKER_02
Not really a laugh, but oh, oh, oh, oh!
5
SPEAKER_02
You know that.
5
SPEAKER_00
He didn t want that.
5
SPEAKER_02
But so then just, because this is you and David, so go down the movies.
5
SPEAKER_02
Obviously, Tommy Boy, you punched up, right?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
And wrote a lot on that.
5
SPEAKER_02
And then you guys did sequels, you did Joe Dirt, so why don t you guys talk for a bit?
5
SPEAKER_02
I m just gonna listen.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, but Dana, you were such a big part of all this stuff, because we all wanted to make Dana laugh.
5
SPEAKER_00
One thing I will say, Lauren wanted Jim Downey to do a pass on Tommy Boy, and Downey said to Lauren that he would do it if I would do it, because it would be fun or whatever, and they wanted Downey to fly to LA and do it.
5
SPEAKER_00
I did it with him for about three or four days, and then I knew the director, Pete Siegel.
5
SPEAKER_00
This is before David had a giant part in this whole thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
But so, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
So that happened about season three, Dave or something.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_00
I forget what year that happened, but we were writing that.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I think because that was such a great experience and a lot of wild stuff and Dave and Chris flying back and forth to Toronto.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think we were in the trenches, all of us.
5
SPEAKER_00
together, these guys work much harder than I did, of course, all that flying back and forth.
5
SPEAKER_00
You guys, so, so actually there was a friend of mine, Annette, and they listened to the show, like religiously, and they said, can you talk about when you re on the show, what the week is like at SNL?
5
SPEAKER_00
This is the perfect opportunity to do it.
5
SPEAKER_00
On Monday, we sort of beat the host and we all sit in Lauren s office and pitch out something.
5
SPEAKER_00
Then on Tuesday and Wednesday, we write like crazy Monday night to write sketches.
5
SPEAKER_00
And on Wednesday, there s a read through and they read about 40 sketches and they pick the ones that are going to show.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then Thursday and Friday, they build the sets and they get ready for dress rehearsal on Saturday.
5
SPEAKER_00
And Dave and Chris were flying back and forth.
5
SPEAKER_00
They would be there.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think you would meet the host on Monday, right?
5
SPEAKER_00
Then fly out Monday night.
5
SPEAKER_01
Is that how it went?
5
SPEAKER_01
No, we would shoot Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, come in for read through.
5
SPEAKER_00
A re-throwing Wednesday.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then we go back that night.
5
SPEAKER_00
You would fly out that night after re-throwing.
5
SPEAKER_00
And where were you flying to?
5
SPEAKER_02
Were you shooting in Canada?
5
SPEAKER_01
Toronto.
5
SPEAKER_01
Toronto.
5
SPEAKER_02
And you re shooting Tommy Boy and going in and out.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and then we d shoot Thursday and come back Friday morning and rehearse and do the show Saturday and then leave after the show.
5
SPEAKER_01
Hit the block, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Or if Farley wanted to go to the wrap party, we d have to wait.
5
SPEAKER_01
But we re shooting Sunday morning at seven, so I go, can we skip the wrap party?
5
SPEAKER_01
No!
5
SPEAKER_00
You said, if Farley, that was his way of speaking softly.
5
SPEAKER_02
No.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
My, my doll was set incorrectly.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s gotta be screaming and wet.
5
SPEAKER_00
But, uh, so, Oh, so you, did you guys film on Sunday then?
5
SPEAKER_00
Or just Luke?
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, wow.
5
SPEAKER_00
Jesus.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s sure.
5
SPEAKER_01
That scene with Rob Lowe where,
5
SPEAKER_01
we re in like a, you know, where they re making cars and Rob Lowe gets hit in the balls.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I don t want to give the whole movie away, Rob Lowe.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then I think Ackroyd s in it.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s the only day we could all be there and we could rent this place.
5
SPEAKER_01
And we shot 24 hours.
5
SPEAKER_01
We ve never done that.
5
SPEAKER_01
We just kept shooting.
5
SPEAKER_01
So we didn t have it done.
5
SPEAKER_01
So we went all the way into Monday and then we just,
5
SPEAKER_01
You know, that was a beating, but it was, it obviously worked out.
5
SPEAKER_01
We d call Fred if he didn t fly up with us and say, what about this?
5
SPEAKER_01
We re thinking of like, is it a clip on, you know, this whole throwaway jokes where we re putting everything.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I ll let you finish, but it all worked out.
5
SPEAKER_01
Thank God.
5
SPEAKER_01
And that s why we try to do black sheep to following something.
5
SPEAKER_00
I, I got married and I, uh, while we were writing the thing, trying to get it ready, I got married and we went on our honeymoon and on the plane, I saw the, the, the guy s given the, uh, the directions, the flight attendants given the directions.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I, uh, I called Dave as soon as we landed and I go, Hey, what about when you guys were on the airplane and you give him flight directions?
5
SPEAKER_00
And Dave said, Oh yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
What about, what about, um, what about, uh, seeing superstar, um, the single superstar and they changing the, the,
5
SPEAKER_00
the radio channel.
5
SPEAKER_00
And we re like, I m like, Oh my God, this is looking great.
5
SPEAKER_00
And so I type it in on my honeymoon and my wife got really mad.
5
SPEAKER_00
I think she really did.
5
SPEAKER_00
She was supposed to be on honeymoon.
5
SPEAKER_00
I go, back off.
5
SPEAKER_01
You re going to turn into a money moon.
5
SPEAKER_00
And it was like, it was the best.
5
SPEAKER_00
It was writing like Saturday Night Live stuff.
5
SPEAKER_00
So one of the cool things is Lauren started like knowing my name a little bit.
5
SPEAKER_00
It was nice.
5
SPEAKER_00
Fred.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s Fred s.
5
SPEAKER_02
Have you ever done Lauren Michaels starting an outboard motor?
5
SPEAKER_02
No, go ahead.
5
SPEAKER_02
He s in a little motor.
5
SPEAKER_02
He s like,
5
SPEAKER_02
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
5
SPEAKER_02
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
5
SPEAKER_02
He s all of our dad, in a way.
5
SPEAKER_00
Right?
5
SPEAKER_00
Because I had no dad.
5
SPEAKER_00
But we d walk through Beverly Hills one night.
5
SPEAKER_00
So Austin Powers opened that weekend.
5
SPEAKER_00
I went and saw it Friday.
5
SPEAKER_00
The night it opened at the Chinese Theater.
5
SPEAKER_00
And he and I were walking on Saturday.
5
SPEAKER_00
And we re walking.
5
SPEAKER_00
And all of a sudden, he goes, I hear... By the way, I m doing dinner, of course.
5
SPEAKER_00
I hear that Mike is doing me in a movie.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I go, uh, Oh, I just saw the night before.
5
SPEAKER_00
And he was like identical to Lauren.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like there was no, like nothing, nothing but Lauren.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I m going like, Oh, what was he?
5
SPEAKER_00
I, I.
6
SPEAKER_00
I could see that.
6
SPEAKER_00
Did he have to name him Dr. Fucking Evil?
6
SPEAKER_01
It s true.
6
SPEAKER_00
I could see from Lauren s perspective.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
However, I think Lorne, from what I understand, he loves it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Of course, he s talked about it.
6
SPEAKER_02
And yeah, there s a lot of James Bond villains in there.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
6
SPEAKER_02
Lorne is a great character and he has a great rhythm and an incredible intellect.
6
SPEAKER_02
So fun, fun voice to do.
6
SPEAKER_00
He was going to be my drunk parents.
6
SPEAKER_00
I had them all lined up.
6
SPEAKER_00
He was going to do it.
6
SPEAKER_00
He was going to do it.
6
SPEAKER_00
He said, yes, he would.
6
SPEAKER_00
Really?
6
SPEAKER_00
But Al and I both called and he was going to do it.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I wanted him in so bad, but we had to change the schedule because it snowed or whatever.
6
SPEAKER_00
Anyway.
6
SPEAKER_00
So by the way, when we walked through Beverly Hills for about a couple of years, when I first started walking, Lord, I walked down the middle of the sidewalk.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I d be walking like over the roots, the tree roots, all the buckles, you know, just ducking branches and strolling.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I m good with French kings.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
6
SPEAKER_00
Trees are violent.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I started knowing maybe I was rising a little bit.
6
SPEAKER_00
When I started walking, I got a little inch of the sidewalk.
6
SPEAKER_00
I d take my little part of the concrete.
6
SPEAKER_00
But he basically, we were walking and he talked about what it would be like to be a head writer.
6
SPEAKER_00
And Jim Downey at this point was looking to cut back on his hours and work with Norm on stuff.
6
SPEAKER_00
And we get to a corner of where Nate Niles is.
6
SPEAKER_00
And he just turns to me and goes, well, I was wondering if you wanted to be the head writer.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I cannot believe I said this.
6
SPEAKER_00
First of all, I can t believe that that happened.
6
SPEAKER_00
It went from like nothing to that.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then for some reason it came out of my mouth.
6
SPEAKER_00
I go, sure, if you d make me a future player.
6
SPEAKER_00
And he said, done, like that.
6
SPEAKER_00
It was all one sentence.
6
SPEAKER_01
He said, dada?
6
SPEAKER_00
He said, who the fuck are you to ask me or tell me anything like that?
6
SPEAKER_01
Then he picked you up and carried you?
6
SPEAKER_02
I wanted, that s like a movie thing.
6
SPEAKER_02
I want to do that at some point.
6
SPEAKER_02
Someone asked me about a negotiation and I ll just say,
6
SPEAKER_02
Done.
6
SPEAKER_00
Done.
6
SPEAKER_00
I know done s a great one.
6
SPEAKER_02
Just one word.
6
SPEAKER_02
Done.
6
SPEAKER_02
No, no, no, no, no, don t talk anymore.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s done.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s just so, it s very Lorne.
6
SPEAKER_01
He s brilliant.
6
SPEAKER_01
Done means done.
6
SPEAKER_02
So you barely got on the show, now you write Tommy Boy, and then you re the head writer.
6
SPEAKER_02
This is the 90s, late 90s, your career s taken off.
6
SPEAKER_02
Do you get kind of a big ego?
6
SPEAKER_02
Are you kind of, I m just kidding.
6
SPEAKER_02
You re very self-deprecating.
6
SPEAKER_00
the whole way through, right?
6
SPEAKER_00
I think with super low self-esteem, what I got to is like normal.
6
SPEAKER_00
No, I m, I m joking.
6
SPEAKER_00
I, uh, no, I was very proud of it.
6
SPEAKER_00
I was very proud of hard.
6
SPEAKER_00
I worked to do it.
6
SPEAKER_00
I was proud.
6
SPEAKER_00
I didn t give up, but, uh, no, I was always sure that something was going to happen.
6
SPEAKER_00
They re going to pull the rug out or someone s going to find out what a fraud I am.
6
SPEAKER_00
So I don t know if I had time to be, luckily they haven t yet.
6
SPEAKER_00
Not yet.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
But then you went black sheep.
6
SPEAKER_01
Then he went,
6
SPEAKER_01
We did Dickie Roberts, that s us two together writing, and then we did Joe Dirt, and then you went, and then he directed House Bunny, which was a big one.
6
SPEAKER_01
That was a great one.
6
SPEAKER_00
House Bunny was a hit.
6
SPEAKER_00
It was a blast.
6
SPEAKER_00
One of the things about House Bunny, which I get to say is on a Ferris,
6
SPEAKER_00
has that certain thing we were talking about.
6
SPEAKER_00
And Emma Stone, there s that something where when they come in, like when Emma came into audition for that part in House Bunny, where I m going to sound like I think I m a genius.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m not, I m just saying, this is the one thing I m pretty good at is when she left the room, she had read for one part.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I told Heather Perry, I said that she could, any part she wants in the movie, that
6
SPEAKER_00
And she was 18 years old when she came in, there was just something about her.
6
SPEAKER_00
I want to, I want to tell you guys, this has to do with you guys and Dana, you were the king at this point.
6
SPEAKER_00
So like, like literally the king, like when you got SNL, everyone, all the comics in LA, we re talking about everybody because you were mostly based in San Francisco.
6
SPEAKER_00
So you weren t around the LA scene as much, but we all knew you and everyone would talk about you.
6
SPEAKER_00
So it sounds like you re being left out of this.
6
SPEAKER_00
You re not, you were huge.
6
SPEAKER_00
And everyone wanted to be Dana Carter, but, um,
6
SPEAKER_00
I was working, the first TV show I ever got was called Too Hip for TV, and it was on NBC daytime.
6
SPEAKER_00
And Brandon Tartikoff, I don t know why, but he came to my office and said, you re a stand-up comedian, right?
6
SPEAKER_00
And I go, yeah, I really find jokes funny.
6
SPEAKER_00
And he said, could you tell us the names of some comedians that might be good to host this show?
6
SPEAKER_00
And I said, sure, of course.
6
SPEAKER_00
And so I took that weekend and this was really interesting to me is that I made a list of like all my friends, this is a chance to get somebody to work.
6
SPEAKER_00
And what year is this?
6
88, 1988.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
And so I made this list and I remember like I have friends and I would say like, Dave knows some of these guys, like I would say, Tim Rose, oh, funny guy, but maybe wouldn t show up on time or whatever.
6
SPEAKER_00
I shouldn t say the names, but
6
SPEAKER_00
And I kind of went through all my names and the ones, here s the five that I settled on that I thought had what it takes, they were totally unknown at this time, had what it takes, had that certain something, had it, the charisma, would show up on time, know how to shake hands, know how to talk to executives, and would know how to memorize the stuff that we had to do, have our show, comedy.
6
SPEAKER_00
And the five names, and they were completely- I love this, build up.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it was Rob Schneider, David Spade, Adam Sandler, Colin Quinn, and George Clooney.
6
SPEAKER_00
Holy shit.
6
SPEAKER_00
Those are the five.
6
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
6
SPEAKER_00
And Colin Quinn got it.
6
SPEAKER_00
He got the host.
6
SPEAKER_02
They blew off Clooney?
6
SPEAKER_02
And Sandler?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think, if I remember right, Dave and Rob auditioned for it together for some reason.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, we did stuff together back then.
6
SPEAKER_01
I mean, they would bring us in together.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I think, who got it?
6
SPEAKER_01
Ahmet Zappa, Dweezil Zappa maybe?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yes, it was Colin Quinn and Ahmet Zappa.
6
SPEAKER_00
Good memory.
6
SPEAKER_00
Dang.
6
SPEAKER_00
Dang.
6
SPEAKER_00
Because I was furious.
6
SPEAKER_00
You should have been.
6
SPEAKER_00
Actually, there was one guy.
6
SPEAKER_01
I still have a voodoo doll.
6
SPEAKER_00
I remember there was one guy, I won t say his name.
6
SPEAKER_00
I thought, oh, I ll put him on the list.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then when I talked to him about it, he didn t seem that excited.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I said, oh, he s not going to even show up for the edition, maybe.
6
SPEAKER_00
So I kind of crossed his name off.
6
SPEAKER_00
But and that guy was, I was clean.
6
SPEAKER_00
No, but all kidding aside, those are the five names.
6
SPEAKER_00
And there s just that certain something.
6
SPEAKER_00
And so House Bunny was sort of a cakewalk because Ana had that something.
6
SPEAKER_02
Just a little arithmetic, because you re good with numbers, like that cadre, that five, if you had to just write now on a quiz show, what is the net worth of those five individuals in 2022?
6
SPEAKER_02
Is it 700 million, 900 million, or one billion?
6
SPEAKER_01
Dana, when he was doing House Bunny, Fred, when you were doing House Bunny, remember I did a,
6
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if I read it, but you were like, it s five women and they re all funny.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I d just done something with Rihanna and she was so new.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I said, you know who s got that certain, this girl s unreal.
6
SPEAKER_01
She s gorgeous.
6
SPEAKER_01
She s talented.
6
SPEAKER_01
It might be too late because she s singing and I don t even know what she s doing, but I don t know how I ran into her.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then you said, yeah, let s bring her in.
6
SPEAKER_01
And you, I think you did literally bring her in and talk to her.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then she was going on tour.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, she couldn t do it.
6
SPEAKER_01
And she would have been great.
6
SPEAKER_01
It was really early in Rihanna s career.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Cause anytime, anytime guys like you brought up a name like that, obviously all hands on deck, but yes, she came in and met and it was really cool.
6
SPEAKER_00
And she was great.
6
SPEAKER_00
And she would have been great in the movie.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, it would have been unbelievable.
6
SPEAKER_00
But I always, there s this guy named Mike Sanborn and he s a, he s a really good guy.
6
SPEAKER_00
He s a ex special forces FBI now.
6
SPEAKER_00
And he s like a hotshot, and he actually mentored my daughter, my daughter in the FBI.
6
SPEAKER_00
Just started three years ago, and I m super psyched.
6
SPEAKER_00
Your daughter is in the FBI?
6
SPEAKER_00
She just started, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
She s training.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, training out there in DC.
6
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
6
SPEAKER_02
That s a news flash.
6
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
6
SPEAKER_00
And you met Molly.
6
SPEAKER_02
Of course.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s all we can say about Dan.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s all we can say.
6
SPEAKER_02
I met her as a sweet little... And now she s like... Yeah, he has two daughters.
6
SPEAKER_01
Great.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m not going to play games.
6
SPEAKER_00
I want answers, and I want them now.
6
SPEAKER_00
I said to somebody the other day, I m going to put you on a no-fly list.
6
SPEAKER_00
But she s mad.
6
SPEAKER_00
But Sam Warren is like this super tough guy.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I always think, who are you that you re a special force, that you d die for your country, that you would do all this stuff?
6
SPEAKER_00
Meanwhile, he tells me stupid little jokes in Tommy Boy, and I m
6
SPEAKER_00
Like, I can t even believe he knows the movie, let alone like laughing at jokes.
6
SPEAKER_00
He s usually laughing at Dave s stuff.
6
SPEAKER_00
But it s it s just like it doesn t make sense to me.
6
SPEAKER_00
This whole laughter thing, Dana, when you know, there s so many stories, so many stories.
6
SPEAKER_00
But anyway, sorry, sorry.
6
SPEAKER_00
So how many was a cakewalk?
6
SPEAKER_00
Sorry, because Ana was is Ana was a star.
6
SPEAKER_01
She s got such a great charisma about her.
6
SPEAKER_01
She s funny.
6
SPEAKER_01
She s likable.
6
SPEAKER_01
She was that was like the perfect movie for her.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yes, it was.
6
SPEAKER_00
And Emma Stone just had that sort of—actually, the entire cast just had that little something, whatever.
6
SPEAKER_01
Katharine McPhee was in it.
6
SPEAKER_01
There s a lot of people in it, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
What about Dirty Work?
6
SPEAKER_01
I want to hear about that before we got to go.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, so let me do, let me tell you about Norm really quick.
6
SPEAKER_00
So there were some Norman, I ll never know exactly how I helped, but maybe it did.
6
SPEAKER_00
So Norm was also a friend.
6
SPEAKER_00
And so, uh, I was outside in the office waiting to meet Lauren for the first time to be a guest writer.
6
SPEAKER_00
And, uh, I ve sat there for two hours and I remember, uh, Chris Rock came in.
7
SPEAKER_02
People say, you re not going to wait for you re sitting there for two hours.
7
SPEAKER_02
They say, I m going to leave, man.
7
SPEAKER_02
I m going to show my old man.
7
SPEAKER_02
No, you will not get the job.
7
SPEAKER_01
And so everything is like an army movie or something.
7
SPEAKER_01
You stay seated private.
7
SPEAKER_01
Go ahead.
7
SPEAKER_02
And
7
SPEAKER_02
And so I was in the outside area, and there s all these people, always outside Lawrence office there, and there s maybe 40 people there, at least 50.
7
SPEAKER_02
I hear one of them saying, we saw this guy named Norm MacDonald last night performing at the Rising Star, Catch the Rising Star.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I hear that, and I call over and go, oh, are you talking about Norm MacDonald?
7
SPEAKER_02
And they go, yeah, we saw him last night.
7
SPEAKER_02
I think he might audition for the show.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I go, oh, it was funny.
7
SPEAKER_02
And he was very funny.
7
SPEAKER_02
I go, oh, you want to see his act?
7
SPEAKER_02
So I stood up and did like about maybe four or five minutes of Norm s act and destroyed, blew the roof off.
7
SPEAKER_02
And Lauren stuck his head out of his office.
7
SPEAKER_02
What s going on?
7
SPEAKER_02
Come on.
7
SPEAKER_02
One of them said, he s doing Norm MacDonald.
7
SPEAKER_02
He s doing Norm MacDonald.
7
SPEAKER_01
Do you remember one of the lines?
7
SPEAKER_01
Probably wouldn t, right?
7
SPEAKER_01
Do you remember one of the lines you said?
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh, the game show.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s me, Bob.
7
SPEAKER_02
I know, I put you on the spot.
7
SPEAKER_00
Who s got one, David?
7
SPEAKER_00
I ve got two.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, he goes, I saw it.
7
SPEAKER_00
What s the one where he goes, I saw a homeless guy with a dog.
7
SPEAKER_02
on the corner laying out and he goes this dog must be thinking this is the longest fucking walk yeah we re just walking to be over i got one too now my uh is uh some people say uh you know i m an optimist there you know i got an optimist uh and there s a pessimist you know the pessimist looks at the glass and says uh no no an optimist looks at the glass and
7
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
7
SPEAKER_02
A pessimist looks at the glass and says the glass is half empty.
7
SPEAKER_02
I m a pessimist.
7
SPEAKER_02
I look at that glass and I say it s half full, but I think I might have bowel cancer.
7
SPEAKER_01
Okay, here s my friend.
7
SPEAKER_01
I don t remember that one, that s a great one.
7
SPEAKER_01
I like Norm s, he d take a figure of speech, colloquialism, whatever, and just turn it.
7
SPEAKER_01
You know, they say like a penny saved is like a penny earned, right?
7
SPEAKER_01
That s like a 100% return, right?
7
SPEAKER_01
That s too much, isn t it?
7
SPEAKER_01
I mean, come on.
7
SPEAKER_01
That s it.
7
SPEAKER_01
You would just take a figure of speech and just run with it in a casual way.
7
SPEAKER_01
And make it funny somehow.
7
SPEAKER_01
Stitch in time.
7
SPEAKER_01
What s that?
7
SPEAKER_01
Stitch in time?
7
SPEAKER_01
What do they got?
7
SPEAKER_01
There s a seamstress up there and is still stitching.
7
SPEAKER_01
So, you know, so anyway, that was Norm s office.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I would look to see that he never wrote anything down.
7
SPEAKER_02
He had nothing written down.
7
SPEAKER_02
I would look for it and go through the drawers like where the fuck he came back once he came back from.
7
SPEAKER_02
He was opening for Bill Cosby and he came into the office late.
7
SPEAKER_02
I was there at 3 a.m.
7
SPEAKER_02
He came walking.
7
SPEAKER_02
I was open for Bill Cosby.
7
SPEAKER_02
I go, I m making a fast story because
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
I told him, I said, I didn t know what to say to Bill Cosby, a legend of all time.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I was like, I go, you re, you re, you re, you re my father s favorite comedian has ever lived.
7
SPEAKER_02
And Bill Cosby goes, well, let s call your father on the phone.
7
SPEAKER_02
You re not, you don t want to call him on the phone.
7
SPEAKER_02
Hey, you re a huge star.
7
SPEAKER_02
You don t want to be on the phone with my father.
7
SPEAKER_02
He s Canada.
7
SPEAKER_02
I didn t know what to say to Bill Cosby because my father had been dead for like 10 years.
7
SPEAKER_01
I was still alive.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
That s very Norm.
7
SPEAKER_01
God rest his soul.
7
SPEAKER_01
The greatest.
7
SPEAKER_00
Love Norm.
7
SPEAKER_02
He s the man.
7
SPEAKER_02
He s good.
7
SPEAKER_02
He s good, good, good, good.
7
SPEAKER_00
Canadian.
7
SPEAKER_00
I was just up in Canada.
7
SPEAKER_00
Norm s legendary.
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
I love him.
7
SPEAKER_02
On Dirty Work, Dirty Work, people would run up to Bob Saget, the director.
7
SPEAKER_02
They would like, like, like there d be 100 people around him trying to get his autograph when we re shooting in Canada, in Toronto.
7
SPEAKER_02
And then Norm would have like four people walk up that idolized him, like a total idolization.
7
SPEAKER_02
You know, it was like a different fan thing.
7
SPEAKER_01
OK, three words to close out this.
7
SPEAKER_01
Just be going to be representing the fans.
7
SPEAKER_01
Joe Dirt 3, huh?
7
SPEAKER_01
I m just being, I m representing the fans right now.
7
SPEAKER_00
Dave had an idea of the Joe Dirt sister.
7
SPEAKER_00
I feel like we should do a Joe Dirt animated because we could do it forever and I wouldn t look so old, but I feel animated would be crazy and we could do anything we wanted and still have the voices and we could probably get Walk-In and everybody.
7
SPEAKER_00
it would be great, but I don t know how to do that.
7
SPEAKER_00
That d be cool.
7
SPEAKER_00
Walkin , walkin .
7
SPEAKER_00
I hear I may meet another Joe Dirt, Joe Dirt.
7
SPEAKER_00
People tell me all the time, Joe Dirt, do you know people, they have seen it.
7
SPEAKER_00
He s always shocked that someone remembered it or knew he was in it.
7
SPEAKER_01
Didn t know what they thought, never got over it.
7
SPEAKER_01
You better watch your tone.
7
SPEAKER_00
Watch your tone.
7
SPEAKER_00
Watch your tone is a great one.
7
SPEAKER_00
Watchin  Tone.
7
SPEAKER_00
Watchin  Tone!
7
SPEAKER_01
Yes, Tone is a good way to go.
7
SPEAKER_00
He tells Kid Rock to watch his Tone.
7
SPEAKER_00
Hey, Danis was good just now.
7
SPEAKER_02
I never heard you do walking before.
7
SPEAKER_01
No, well I did a Jack Candy sketch with him once where we re in a wooden spaceship on 8H rehearsing.
7
SPEAKER_01
The idea was the landing gear would come down, or the door would come down and kill an Earthling.
7
SPEAKER_01
So we would come out and like, we come in peace to see you.
7
SPEAKER_01
And then they go, kill him, kill him, kill him.
7
SPEAKER_01
And then he would always say, let s get out of here.
7
SPEAKER_01
And then we d go in the little wooden spaceship and we re tight quarters.
7
SPEAKER_01
His head is like an inch from my face and he s just red face laughing so hard at the idea.
7
SPEAKER_01
Let s get out of here.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s his own dialect.
7
SPEAKER_02
Chris, can I say real quick walking?
7
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
7
SPEAKER_02
Real quick walking story real quick.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
7
SPEAKER_02
As a, we re right in continental.
7
SPEAKER_02
It was his idea.
7
SPEAKER_02
Continental was totally his idea.
7
SPEAKER_02
They had done it on the show before.
7
SPEAKER_00
POV of the camera.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
And, uh, it was just me and him and I was in heaven, of course.
7
SPEAKER_02
And so he, uh, I said, Hey, what about if, uh, you, you go, I have fallen for you and I can t get up.
7
SPEAKER_02
And he said, I don t know what you re saying.
7
SPEAKER_02
I go, oh, there s this Life Alert commercial where the lady goes, I ve fallen.
7
SPEAKER_02
I can t get up.
7
SPEAKER_02
No, I ll not.
7
SPEAKER_02
No.
7
SPEAKER_02
And so I go, oh, no, you just say I ve fallen for you and I can t get up.
7
SPEAKER_02
No.
7
SPEAKER_02
What?
7
SPEAKER_02
No.
7
SPEAKER_02
And so he kept saying no.
7
SPEAKER_02
And finally, he said, don t bring it up again.
7
SPEAKER_02
No more.
7
SPEAKER_02
No more.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s like, oh, that s Saturday.
7
SPEAKER_02
So we had a sketch and I put it on cue cards and and then I go to walk in this right before dress and I go, hey, Chris, I mean, maybe maybe just like if I just sneak in right here, all you have to do is say, I have fallen for you and I can t get up.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I put on the cards.
7
SPEAKER_02
like really mad.
7
SPEAKER_02
And so I ran and put on the cards and dress rehearsal goes and he comes to that line and it fucking destroys.
7
SPEAKER_02
It just blows the roof off.
7
SPEAKER_02
Laugh goes forever.
7
SPEAKER_02
Calendar leaves flying off the wall just forever.
7
SPEAKER_02
And so I m waiting for him as he comes off stage for dress rehearsal.
7
SPEAKER_02
I m just standing there all excited, all excited.
7
SPEAKER_02
He walks by and he goes, I don t know what I said, but I m saying it again.
7
SPEAKER_02
He had never seen the commercial.
7
SPEAKER_02
He had no idea what we re talking about.
7
SPEAKER_01
Oh, man.
7
SPEAKER_00
All right.
7
SPEAKER_00
Well, that s it for Fred.
7
SPEAKER_00
We did a great job.
7
SPEAKER_00
We could actually go on and on.
7
SPEAKER_01
Comedy, all-star, writer, comedian, all around.
7
SPEAKER_00
Who also wrote Grown Ups and Grown Ups 2.
7
SPEAKER_00
Jesus.
7
SPEAKER_00
That s some huge movies.
7
SPEAKER_01
Keeping the lights on at TBS for the last fucking night.
7
SPEAKER_01
Primany, Pat Sajak s show, MTV music, Strange Wilderness.
7
SPEAKER_01
Strange Wilderness and on and on and on.
7
SPEAKER_01
Huge resume, can t get to it in one podcast.
7
SPEAKER_02
Thanks for having me on, you guys.
7
SPEAKER_00
Might have you on again, we might.
7
SPEAKER_02
All right, you guys, thank you so much.
7
SPEAKER_02
It was a blast.
7
SPEAKER_00
Nice, thanks, buddy.
7
SPEAKER_00
Bye, Dana.
7
SPEAKER_02
See you guys.
7
SPEAKER_00
This has been a podcast presentation of Cadence 13.
7
SPEAKER_00
Please listen, then rate, review and follow all episodes.
7
SPEAKER_00
Available now for free wherever you get your podcast.
7
SPEAKER_00
No joke, folks.
7
SPEAKER_01
Fly on the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13, executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corcoran of Cadence 13 and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment.
7
SPEAKER_00
The show s lead producer is Greg Holtzman with production and engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Basil of Cadence 13.