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Hey folks, it s Lyle.
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Before we get into the episode, I wanted to talk to you guys about a new thing I m doing where you can help support my lizard endeavors by becoming a premium member of this podcast over at therapygecko.supercast.com
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Premium Members, or GECK Legends, as I call them, will be able to get every new and existing episode of Therapy Gecko completely ad-free.
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You ll also get a bonus podcast episode once a month, a bonus live show episode once a month from all of the live shows I ve been doing around the world, a members-only live stream once a month, plus, you ll also support my ability to continue, hopefully, doing this podcast for a long time, doing it around the world,
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and also supporting my ability to occasionally go eat a slice of pizza.
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Go to therapygecko.supercast.com or find the link in the episode description to become a GECK legend today.
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All right, let s get into the episode.
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Danny Brown.
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What s up?
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What s up?
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What s been the most persistent thought on your mind lately?
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Persistent thought on my mind?
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Um, I just really been working on music a lot.
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So just getting back into being like creative and shit and starting to try to like, you know, find my footing.
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I mean, I guess, you know, I ve been doing music for a long time, but still finding new ways, you know, still learning.
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So I guess that s been the most thing for me, just studying, you know, going back, listening to a lot of old albums that I grew up on and stuff and trying to remind myself why I liked it, you know, and try to, you know, incorporate that into what I do.
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What kind of conclusions have you come to in this studying and learning?
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I think for the most part is don t think too hard.
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I think when I live in my head too much and try to make shit that I think people will like or something like that, just get caught up in that, that s when I m my least creative.
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I think when I just let it happen.
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almost like a flow state.
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You know what I m talking about?
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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So when I just get into when I m not, I feel like I m not trying hard when it s just like a higher power or something, just making everything happen.
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So that s how I ve been feeling quite lately.
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Just been really fucking like, you know, showing gratitude to that.
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I think that s for the most part.
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Have you figured, like, I ve always tried to figure out some kind of equation of, like, what variables need to be in place for me to get into that flow state, you know what I mean?
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Have you found there are certain things that surround, whether it s, like, people you re with or ways you ve been eating or drinking or anything like that that kind of gets you to that flow state?
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I think it s, for the most part, just what s going on in my life.
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If I got, like, a lot of drama or, like,
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Certain shit that just you know just fucking with me mentally then it s gonna be hard for me to concentrate But if I m doing all the right shit, you know taking care of myself, you know for the most part like just you know Staying out of trouble.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, but I got everything going good in my life Even though I do have like crazy anxiety to and shit get like that.
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I don t know if other people deal with that but
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Mm-hmm sometime when stuff is just going too good for me.
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I d be like man something s bad, right?
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Right Right, there s almost something the best part about things being bad is that they can t get bad.
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They re already there
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But that s just living in your head.
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Once I just get out of that, you know, stop, stop thinking too much.
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I think, you know, I smoke a lot of weed.
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I think smoking weed when I thought it was, you know, helping with my anxiety or helping me like to feel better and shit, it was just making shit worse, to be honest.
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Hmm.
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Because I find that when I smoke weed, it feels like I m like stepping on a stepladder and like kind of looking at my life from this different point of view.
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You know, do you feel like you were just kind of thinking, thinking too much?
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Yeah, cuz you always look at it like a numbing agent.
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Yeah numbing the pain type of yeah, but for the most part It was just causing it more to be honest cuz it makes you don t I mean it made me not care.
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Mm-hmm Do you feel like You in your life right now.
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Are you?
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Are you is has every year gotten better?
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Fuck?
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No.
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Yeah
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It really got a lot worse for me, you know, I was just me, you know, caught up in my addictions and everything.
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But ever since I ve been sober and everything, everything s been going great, to be honest.
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I mean, I never always like I say, I always thought it was like me using as an escape.
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But now it s like, everything s been great, man.
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I have no complaints right now.
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Mm hmm.
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What do you is there anything that you ve like been doing lately and in sober life that you feel like you just didn t have time for before yeah, I mean Now I feel like I have too much time on my hands and I d be like what the fuck that I used to be doing all this time I was getting fucked up, but now No, I just been working back just
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being in the studio making music again it just started to become fun for me again you know before it just felt like work after a while like I would be getting so fucked up and shit and having to be in the studio and I didn t really like that shit like I already I don t know I just didn t like it to be honest it got got to a point where you know I just didn t really want to be in the studio but now it s just like I m having so much fun with it I m having fun it s like because you know
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guess when you become you know like when you start making money from it and then and as a kid it was a hobby like your hobby becomes your job yeah it s like oh fuck yeah you know now is back again it s starting to feel like a hobby again so I just been really just making music man for the most part
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Do you feel like you re even still now having to balance the whole thing of like trying to do what will be, you know, in your mind, like financially and commercially successful versus like what you in your heart want to do?
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Or are you pretty set on like, I ve gotten to the point where I want to be with all that other stuff.
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Let me just do what s in my own brain.
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I think when you start thinking like that, it fucks with you creatively.
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For sure.
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You know, so, you know, it gets to the point you just got to do it for the love and anything else could come from it.
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That s a blessing.
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mm-hmm so I always kind of went into making my music with that thought process so it never really was about if you listen to my music you obviously know I m not fucking trying to make a top 40 hit and shit like that but you know I guess I don t know man I just really just just tapped in to like I don t know just like a creative source like I say it s almost like a flow state now like I m not trying hard to do this shit and I ll be
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just making crazy shit.
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But for the most part, I just really just being creative and shit is like when you when you re doing it out of the love.
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I think that s when a lot of people gravitate towards it more.
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So almost like a creative energy or some type of shit.
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I can t it s hard.
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When you were like when you think about like the times where you just were dreading being in the studio the most like did you ever have a time where you just thought you would you would like never get it back?
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You know, I m making music.
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Yeah.
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I mean, it s the love that you had for it.
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I mean, it s fairly easy for me, to be honest, because I ve been doing it for so long.
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But I think that was just me being one to be fucked up.
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It started out as me getting fucked up because I thought it sparked my creative juices.
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Yeah.
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The other at the point of like, oh, am I here?
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I rather just get fucked up.
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Yeah.
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But now this is like, you know, without all that, it was just a distraction, to be honest.
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Hmm.
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Well, okay.
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I mean, looking back on it, is there any part of it where you re like, you know what, that night out actually did kind, like even kind of do something for this song.
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Like it gave me this idea or this rhythm or something, or was it all just excuses?
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It was all just excuses.
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It was none of it, none of it, no.
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I think now it s just like, cause it even got to the point where it was like, I would just dread it.
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Like, oh, I gotta go to work.
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I looked at it like work, it stopped being fun.
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Now it s just like, since I ve not been looking at it like that and just been having fun with it again, it s just like, it comes to me so easy now.
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Before it d be like wrecking my brain, trying to make some dope shit, or even just the point of doing that, like trying to make something dope.
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It s like, no, just get in there and do it and everything else will take care of itself.
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So what was the, what was the spark for you to be like, you know, after so long for you to be like, all right, I m gonna, I m gonna get clean and like, kind of enter this new phase of life.
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I mean, it was something that I always wanted to do.
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I feel like, I mean, I knew I was fucking up, but I guess, you know, as men, sometimes it s hard to ask for help, you know?
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And I didn t even know how to go about doing it, you know?
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So once I just got fed up, like, you know, just ruining relationships and, you know, having them waking up every morning, like, you know, at the game blacked out drunk and people telling you shit you did and you re like, fuck, I did that?
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You know, and just so many embarrassments and,
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shit like that, and just getting tired of that shit and just being fed up.
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And then just, you know, I guess when you feel like you got rock bottom, like, you know, I was just felt like I was there emotionally, where I was just tired of putting myself through that kind of turmoil.
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You know what I m saying?
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Where I was like, shit got to change, man.
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You know, what are you looking forward to in the future?
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In the future?
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Yeah.
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Um, I think, um, before I used to, when I used to go on the road and I would do shows and shit, it was almost like I was more concerned with the after party than an actual show.
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Yeah, yeah, and now you know I thought just did this tour with Peggy being on stage started to become like Therapy for me like it made me happy like I used to be so nervous to go on stage and I would get fucked up just cuz I felt like it would make me you know feel better and not be you know just everybody get nervous, you know being in front of a lot of people I guess but
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Now it s like I was excited to get on stage and that became like a form of therapy for me.
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So I think for the most part just being back on stage has caused me so much clarity to see people that really enjoy the music for what it is, you know.
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So that just made me feel so good doing this last tour.
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So I m just more excited to just get back out and playing music for the people that enjoy it.
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we were talking beforehand about like that the adrenaline after you do a show i ve been doing all these uh uh shows this year doing the the podcast live and and after each show i also feel like like i can t just fucking go to sleep you know like even if i even i ll even just like take a long walk or something like and
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you know now that you said you re not going out as much like what do you what do you do with that and how what have you been doing with that energy yeah after the show um because yeah after after a show i do have like a crazy like adrenaline rush and i m like pumped up and it was really hard the first couple shows we did
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where I didn t know, you know, like, damn, because I used to drink or, you know, smoke and do other shit, you know, but now it s like, um, I started to find like, um, solace and like just going back to the hotel room by myself and playing my Steam Deck or reading a book and just like, you know, watching random shit on YouTube, you know, it just started, I just started to be comfortable in that element, you know, and then I brought my, um,
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equipment with me.
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So I would like set up in hotel rooms and just work on music.
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So it d be like, you know, I wake up in the morning, you know, get my coffee, you know, everything and just work on some music.
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Then before I knew it, I got to go to soundcheck, go to soundcheck, come back, do some, do a little more shit.
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So I just got caught up in, it was like 24 hour work where I didn t, I wasn t even thinking about nothing else, you know?
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Well, there s also like the the social element of going out, you know, like does it does it ever?
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Do you ever get like lonely afterwards?
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Like if you re just sitting and playing this feel good.
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Yeah being on the road is lonely.
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Yeah, I wouldn t I wouldn t say that but I think for the most part man, I Just I don t know.
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I had a lot of time to be with myself, you know when I m at the crib I m with my girl with my dogs, you know
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it s a lot of stuff going on you know dealing with my family my friends you know and for the most i haven t been on the road for a while so being back it was like i was just happy being back at work like oh it almost kind of sparked something like i remember why i love doing this you know yeah it almost felt like when you re when
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when you re just kind of going back home and like going back into your routine of what you of what you would be doing when you weren t on the road like watching youtube videos or reading or something like that it feels like you know the days are less uh you re less engulfed in fucking chaos you you know it s like becomes a part of your routine
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Yeah, but I would say that being on the road, it s hard to like live healthy in some sense.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh, fuck.
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Yeah.
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You know, like you got to eat bullshit where you can eat it.
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So I have enjoyed being back at home to be able to be able to eat the way I want to eat and live the way I want to live and sleep in my own bed for the most part, you know,
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What s the worst, like, things that you re eating on the road?
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I mean, fast food.
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You know, sometimes you gotta, you know, certain cities you go in, they shut down early.
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Do you have a favorite one of those?
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I was just eating a lot of chicken.
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You know, I m black.
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We were just at 7-Eleven and I had, what was it, the Lone Star?
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I had a Lone Star Slider.
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Dude, it was...
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It wasn t that bad.
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It wasn t?
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Yeah.
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I mean, I might have to, I might have to fucking shove all these tables away to do diarrhea halfway through this, but.
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Yeah, eating out the 7-Eleven is gnarly.
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That s definitely some gnarly.
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That takes me back to like being a teenager or some shit, man.
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Nah, I can t do that no more.
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SPEAKER_01
Hey man, you want to take a phone call at all?
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SPEAKER_01
Sure.
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Let s do it.
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Let s see what we got on the phones.
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Hello?
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Stephanie?
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Hello?
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SPEAKER_01
Stephine?
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SPEAKER_00
Hi.
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SPEAKER_01
Is it Stephanie or Stephane?
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SPEAKER_00
You can call me whatever you want, but it s Stephanie.
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SPEAKER_01
Okay, then I ll call you Stephane.
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SPEAKER_00
Alright.
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What s going on, Stephane?
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Life s busy.
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I work my choosing job, so... That s pretty fun.
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Well, you said here that your boyfriend is choosing Roblox over your guys  relationship.
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Yeah, I m...
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Trying to understand why he does that because to me that s like a child s game and I don t know why he s choosing a child s game over our relationship.
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So I ve been dating him for a year and it s been pretty good until he started his little Roblox addiction and I managed to make an account because I was like okay we could spend more time with each other if I get this game and
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he s kind of like choosing to play that game all day till like 4 a.m rather than hang out with me and it s always this one game which i came to realize it s like this donation game so do you know how roblox works i do you know how roblox no i m i m grown 40 years old okay well
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He gives these Robux with actual money, and I wanted to support his little gaming edition, so I bought him a couple gift cards.
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And I guess I realized that donation game, he donates all the gift cards I give to him to random people.
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And that s the only game he plays on there, and it s really... I m trying to figure out why he enjoys doing that rather than hanging out with me.
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How old is your boyfriend?
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19.
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Okay.
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I don t know.
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SPEAKER_02
It seems like an EDP situation going on here.
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What s EDP stand for?
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Fist pump bro?
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SPEAKER_00
No, cause I joined him one time and there s just like a bunch of kids running to him or not kids.
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SPEAKER_00
I don t know how old they are, but like they found me asking for money.
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SPEAKER_01
I guess what I m gonna say is if is you want him to stop playing the game I guess you re trying to be a supportive girlfriend, but if you want him to stop playing the game Why are you buying him gift cards for the game?
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Well, I just I don t know I really provide for him I don t know whatever he wants I tend to give it to him because you know I like to make him happy but it s kind of like a slap to the face I give him like
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maybe a $40 gift card and then he just like ignores me.
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And I feel like I m kind of too old to be going through this cycle over and over again.
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What do you do?
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What do you do outside of your relationship?
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Do you have a dreams and aspirations outside of this Roblox man?
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SPEAKER_00
Um, so, um, I don t know.
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SPEAKER_00
I just work my two jobs, um, come home, hang out with my boyfriend.
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SPEAKER_00
That s, that s all I do.
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SPEAKER_00
And I m really, does he have a job?
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, he he works.
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SPEAKER_00
Um, he works maybe two to two days a week.
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SPEAKER_00
And he s in school right now.
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SPEAKER_00
He s in college right now.
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SPEAKER_02
That s pretty weird.
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SPEAKER_02
He just makes it rain on kids and roblox.
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SPEAKER_00
With my money, I guess I what did you I don t know.
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SPEAKER_00
I ve been trying to get it.
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SPEAKER_00
Um, so we re actually a long distance.
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SPEAKER_00
We
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SPEAKER_00
We met off of a game called VRChat and I think someone talked about it on your channel before.
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SPEAKER_00
Do you know VRChat?
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_02
I do know what VRChat is.
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SPEAKER_01
I want to know what was his avatar in VRChat.
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SPEAKER_00
He was like a meme avatar.
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SPEAKER_00
We re both in meme avatars.
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SPEAKER_00
So we re like goofing around and I started talking to him.
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SPEAKER_00
And to be honest, it s been pretty healthy besides this Roblox phase.
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SPEAKER_00
Cause before him, I was dating someone for seven years and you know, he didn t really treat me well.
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SPEAKER_00
And then I started dating this man right here.
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SPEAKER_00
So it s just, it s just, I don t know.
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SPEAKER_01
Well, you, you met your boyfriend in a digital realm, knowing that he spends a lot of time in digital realms and he continues to spend lots of time in digital realms.
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SPEAKER_01
Um, and you, and you, but you made an account to try to play it with him, right?
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I really don t understand the game because it s like too kiddish for me and I just, I can t really enjoy it.
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SPEAKER_00
I kind of just thought it would be a red flag for me.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it would be a red flag for you for somebody.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it s just a little creepy.
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SPEAKER_02
It gives me creepy vibes, man, like you like kids or something.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I don t think he would ever cheat, but it s just like... I don t know if the fact that that would be cheating is the problem.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I know he s just a socialized but I would rather him like socialize on I guess VRChat because it s more aimed for adults.
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SPEAKER_02
And I would kind of understand it in that way.
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SPEAKER_00
Does he have like a does he have like a bunch of like friends on discord who are like kids and shit?
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SPEAKER_02
No, I would consider 18 still kind of like a kid, honestly.
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SPEAKER_02
So those are kind of 18, 20.
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SPEAKER_02
So his age range, but it s just
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SPEAKER_02
They act really childish, so I just... How old are you?
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SPEAKER_02
I m 22.
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SPEAKER_02
Oh.
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SPEAKER_02
Hmm.
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SPEAKER_01
It s a little creepy, man.
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SPEAKER_01
A little creepy.
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SPEAKER_02
Me?
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SPEAKER_02
My age?
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SPEAKER_01
No, not you.
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SPEAKER_01
Him.
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SPEAKER_01
I just wouldn t want to be spending my time all day when I got me a hot, older woman sitting around playing Roblox all day.
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SPEAKER_01
That s just a little creepy.
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SPEAKER_02
You know, the thing is, I work on, like,
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SPEAKER_02
13-hour shifts are one of my jobs, and I would like to kind of like, uh, what is the word?
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SPEAKER_02
Decompress and hang out with him, maybe watch something, but he chooses to, um, go on the Roblox and, like, play games all night, so I feel kind of ignored, and I m kind of too drained to fight it anymore.
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SPEAKER_00
Let me ask you this.
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SPEAKER_00
Did you, like, before calling us, did you have a sit-down with him where you told him that he s spending too much time with Roblox children?
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SPEAKER_02
I think I think sometimes you gotta just like like you get to give a direct answer
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SPEAKER_00
Response of like hey, you are spending too much time.
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SPEAKER_02
I feel like oh, no, I ve had multiple times That s the thing.
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SPEAKER_02
So it s just like and you can repeat yourself too much.
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SPEAKER_02
It s just I I Don t even want to say it anymore.
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SPEAKER_02
That s why I m kind of like drowning myself with hours from both of my jobs.
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SPEAKER_02
So I
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SPEAKER_01
I mean, it sounds like to me, if he met you on VRChat, he might got a Roblox relationship.
2
SPEAKER_01
You might got a little Roblox bitch or something going on.
2
SPEAKER_01
Hmm.
2
SPEAKER_01
I wouldn t doubt that.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m not trying to hate her, though.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m sorry.
2
SPEAKER_02
No, no, no, no.
2
SPEAKER_02
I know he does think.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s just the fact he enjoys hanging out with, I don t know, children, I guess.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s kind of worse than having a Roblox girlfriend.
2
SPEAKER_00
I think he got a Roblox bitch.
2
SPEAKER_02
I think they re equal, if I m being honest.
2
SPEAKER_00
That d be crazy if he had a Roblox girlfriend and he was donating to her using gift card money.
2
SPEAKER_02
With my money.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know this guy.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t want to put anything on him like that.
2
SPEAKER_00
Digital pimpin .
2
SPEAKER_01
That s what that is.
2
SPEAKER_01
Digital pimpin  out here.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, let me, okay, actually, here s, uh, you guys are long distance, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
So you can t even, you, you almost like are spending time in these digital realms cause that s the only way you can spend time.
2
SPEAKER_00
Where, where, how far is the distance?
2
SPEAKER_02
I feel like people who know him watch this but that s fine.
2
SPEAKER_02
He s in Canada and I m in Texas but my parents offered because they really like my boyfriend, they offered to buy a plane ticket for one of us to see each other this upcoming summer so we have plans to meet and stuff but the way he s acting just makes me very unsure about
2
SPEAKER_02
it being successful because he s choosing a literal child game rather than focusing on a relationship.
2
SPEAKER_01
This is crazy.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think you probably need to find a new boyfriend.
2
SPEAKER_02
I ll try my best to like really give him as much chances as I can because I do love him to death and I m the type of person who always puts them before I do like myself.
2
SPEAKER_00
You re the type of person you put the person you re with before yourself?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, of course.
2
SPEAKER_00
Before we go, I want to ask you, what s your name again?
2
SPEAKER_01
Stephanie.
2
SPEAKER_02
My name is Stephanie.
2
SPEAKER_00
Stephanie.
2
SPEAKER_00
Stephanie, if you were to put yourself first, what would that look like for you?
2
SPEAKER_02
Well, I would honestly keep doing the same things I m doing, working more hours so I could afford to move out and
2
SPEAKER_02
provide for myself and just not date for a little bit.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m lost.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m kind of lost in life as well.
2
SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, if you ever want to use me as a VR avatar,
2
SPEAKER_00
You can have the rights to my gecko intellectual property.
2
SPEAKER_00
And use that to find as many romantic partners as that would bring on.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh no, I would pimp with that avatar.
2
SPEAKER_00
Danny, do you have any final thoughts for Stephanie at all?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
I need to find you a real person, man.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s hard.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s hard doing the long distance thing.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s just crazy.
2
SPEAKER_02
I enjoy long distance because I feel much safer.
2
SPEAKER_02
Because my seven-year relationship, he was very, I guess, abusive and stuff.
2
SPEAKER_02
So, you know, he can t really hit me through the internet.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, man.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m sorry to hear that.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m sorry to hear that, Stephanie.
2
SPEAKER_00
Although this guy, Josh, he doesn t seem like that physically imposing of a man.
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, 19 years old on Roblox, 18 hours a day, hell no.
2
SPEAKER_00
Stephanie, I hope this was in some way, shape, or form helpful for you.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_02
I mean, it s nice to talk to someone about it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Dude, is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?
2
SPEAKER_02
Don t let your boyfriend play Roblox.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s all I ve got to say.
2
SPEAKER_00
Have a good night, Stephanie.
2
SPEAKER_02
You have a nice one.
2
SPEAKER_02
Bye-bye.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s weird I thought Roblox was like for like people like I don t know like 12 or some shit I think it is I think this guy is probably like when he said would don t I don t know what she meant by a donation game or if it s like I mean you can like donate to twitch streamers or something like that but I don t I don t know I mean even even the guys who are like streaming that are like
2
SPEAKER_00
15 or something like this kind of creepy.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s kind of creepy.
2
SPEAKER_01
You ll get a little PDF file vibes.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah Yeah Do you what what do you play on the Steam Deck?
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, I ve been playing the Witcher because I never finished it I was playing a lot of the Witcher but for the most part I m um, you know, I play a lot of JRPGs Okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so I m what what what when he playing now, there s a 2% chance Oh, well, I went back and I was playing for sign up for I
2
SPEAKER_01
I m getting into Starfield, I m gonna start playing that tonight.
2
SPEAKER_01
You ever play the Switch?
2
SPEAKER_01
The Nintendo Switch?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I lost a few of them.
2
SPEAKER_00
You lost a few Switches?
2
SPEAKER_01
I lost a few Switches.
2
SPEAKER_00
Where did you, I mean, I guess if you knew, it wouldn t be lost.
2
SPEAKER_01
Just leaving them in hotel rooms.
2
SPEAKER_01
One time I left a Switch in a hotel room, next thing I know I got a new one, and they bought like four new games.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m like, what the fuck, I ain t buying no Mario Party.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, they were in your account and they bought the games.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like I didn t buy Mario Party, who got this?
2
SPEAKER_01
So yeah, but no, I don t have a Switch now.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like ever since I got the Steam, Steam Deck s amazing.
2
SPEAKER_01
I got the emulator on it, got a whole bunch of GameCube games.
2
SPEAKER_01
I ve been back playing GameCube.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, what GameCube games?
2
SPEAKER_01
Metroid Prime.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
And that s what I ve been getting busy with.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m a huge, I used to play like in tournaments for Super Smash Brothers Melee.
2
SPEAKER_01
I suck at Smash.
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I think I was better on it.
2
SPEAKER_01
What was it, 64?
2
SPEAKER_01
Smash 64?
2
SPEAKER_01
No, no.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think it was GameCube.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I think GameCube was my favorite one.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
You ever play the new one?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I suck.
2
SPEAKER_01
I suck.
2
SPEAKER_00
The the I m like kind of a purist about it like the new one it controls a little bit Differently than the GameCube one.
2
SPEAKER_00
Mm-hmm.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I ll only play the GameCube one.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s just people are so good at it, man Yeah, the learning curve is one of those games is just like man you you can have fun playing it But then when you play someone that s just fucking amazing Eddie like I don t want to play this shit no more Why am I putting myself through this?
2
SPEAKER_00
Mm-hmm.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s not fun
2
SPEAKER_01
No, it s not fun at all Then I was trying to be cool and play with little Mac and shit cuz he was a new character at the time and fuck It s fucking sucks little Mac.
2
SPEAKER_00
So you ever side be off the stage.
2
SPEAKER_01
Mm-hmm Yeah, always falling off the fucking stage with a little Mac.
2
SPEAKER_01
Let s try to do that fucking dash punch and just fall right off the fucking world That was pretty good with Kirby though back in a day that was my guy
2
SPEAKER_00
You use that down B move.
2
SPEAKER_00
You already know what s up.
2
SPEAKER_00
So let s talk to MJ.
2
SPEAKER_00
Hello?
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, hello.
2
SPEAKER_00
Hey, what s up, man?
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God, is this Lyle?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s Lyle and Danny.
2
SPEAKER_00
What s up, man?
2
SPEAKER_00
What s up, bro?
2
SPEAKER_02
I m actually shaking.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God.
3
SPEAKER_00
while you have no idea like how big of a fan I am.
3
SPEAKER_01
Thanks dude.
3
SPEAKER_00
I worked all summer and the only thing that got me through the first five hours of like my 10 hour shifts were you bro.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m being 100% for real.
3
SPEAKER_01
Thanks man.
3
SPEAKER_01
Can you say something nice about Danny too?
3
SPEAKER_00
You don t have to.
3
SPEAKER_00
Danny, you look great in the suit.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m being serious.
3
SPEAKER_00
I actually was just checking out your music right now.
3
SPEAKER_00
I actually might start listening to you more for real.
3
SPEAKER_02
That warms my heart.
3
SPEAKER_01
What s up?
3
SPEAKER_00
I m being serious.
3
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
3
SPEAKER_01
How s it going, man?
3
SPEAKER_01
What s going on with you?
3
SPEAKER_01
It says that you re 19 from Chicago, you re in college, and you re finding it hard to talk to your peers, it says.
3
SPEAKER_01
Is that accurate?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Tell us about that.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I ve been in school right now for about three weeks, and I ve only been able to talk to one person in my class.
3
SPEAKER_00
And he s a pretty cool dude.
3
SPEAKER_00
Um, and the only way I ve learned how to talk to him is I offered him like a piece of gum, like every single class period that I had with him.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was like, do you want a piece of gum or anything?
3
SPEAKER_00
And he s, he s really cool.
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, he reminds me a lot of my older brother.
3
SPEAKER_00
So it just kind of feels like I m talking to him.
3
SPEAKER_00
But other than that, I am just really like, I m not diagnosed at all with like social anxiety, but it s, I find it really hard to like,
3
SPEAKER_00
talk to people.
3
SPEAKER_00
And like, even if I m like in a store or whatever, I have to have like my brother, like my sibling hype me up to talk to like an employee to ask like, do you know where this is?
3
SPEAKER_00
So, um, it s just, it s kind of hard to like, get myself out there and like, just talk to people.
3
SPEAKER_02
I dealt with that a lot.
3
SPEAKER_02
But I had fucked up teeth.
3
SPEAKER_02
So I just didn t want people to see my teeth.
3
SPEAKER_02
So I didn t used to talk a lot when I was younger, because they always teased me and shit.
3
SPEAKER_02
But for the most part, I realized that, um, it s almost just like putting yourself in a situation and you just being cool enough.
3
SPEAKER_02
And people just like want to kick it with you.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like, when you seem interesting, you know what I m saying?
3
SPEAKER_02
Type of shit where
3
SPEAKER_02
You know, not trying too hard, not being a try hard and not trying to go out because then that comes off kind of creepy.
3
SPEAKER_02
But I feel like just, you know, you got to just go with the flow and not live in your head.
3
SPEAKER_02
And eventually people would just pop up.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s how I feel.
3
SPEAKER_01
I feel like there s almost, you have to get comfortable with yourself first.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because if you think that you re awkward and suck, then everyone else is going to kind of catch on to that.
3
SPEAKER_01
So you have to kind of build that internal confidence.
3
SPEAKER_01
And weirdly, it always kind of shows in a way.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, how do you feel about yourself, MJ?
3
SPEAKER_00
Man, I m not that confident.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m going to be honest.
3
SPEAKER_00
I kind of struggle with a lot of body positivity and just my looks and everything.
3
SPEAKER_00
I try to take care of myself as much as possible, but it s hard, you know, and I just, I got a new haircut, like something that I never did.
3
SPEAKER_00
I got like those like modern mullets now.
3
SPEAKER_01
How tall are you?
3
SPEAKER_00
I m just, I m 5 8 .
3
SPEAKER_00
5 8 ?
3
SPEAKER_00
So I m like pretty short.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
You re taller than me.
3
SPEAKER_00
How tall are you?
3
SPEAKER_01
Five, six.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, oh, you re like my brother.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
My little brother s taller than me.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I kind of look to him more as like, kind of like trying to be like him cause he s in high school and everything.
3
SPEAKER_00
And he just does not care about what other people think or say.
3
SPEAKER_00
He s the chillest person ever.
3
SPEAKER_00
You don t really talk.
3
SPEAKER_00
He has like a group of friends that he usually hangs out with like online and in school.
3
SPEAKER_00
And he s just like, man,
3
SPEAKER_01
don t think like you re too much or like he always would tell me dude you re cringy dude you re embarrassing and everything so it kind of it either messes with me or I m like man I m doing so much I gotta like calm down so so Danny you said that you you ve kind of felt like you know earlier on you had a little bit of what he s talking about but I mean now you you kind of seem like you have a bit of a you know not giving a fuck what people think about me what do you think changed for you in that
3
SPEAKER_02
Cuz I mean like it s all about what you kind of into and I think most of my friends when I came when I was in school and stuff it all came from music so it s like I was super into like rap and all that stuff and You know, I used to rap and stuff.
3
SPEAKER_02
So I met all my friends through doing that So I think it s pretty much about like what you re into and that s where your friend group will come from and that type So what are you into?
3
SPEAKER_00
Um right now I m actually majoring within graphic design and like art and stuff so I try to like talk to people about like I
3
SPEAKER_00
you know all like this looks cool or like I like a lot of music so I ll be like who s your favorite artist and everything like I don t really listen to like pop music because it s just kind of like I don t mean to sound like that pretentious like oh pops like grouse or whatever it s not for me.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think there is this thing of creating your own universe that surrounds what you re interested in, and then if you take the initiative to do that, other people catch on.
3
SPEAKER_01
And that s a good way to make friends.
3
SPEAKER_01
We were just talking about Smash Bros.
3
SPEAKER_01
When I was in college, I would put on tournaments and events and stuff, and it s like,
3
SPEAKER_01
When you create your own thing around your own interests and invite other people to join it, it s a great way to make friends.
3
SPEAKER_01
So if you re in graphic design and you wanted to start like, I don t know, man, you think about any clubs, starting a little graphic design club, a little, what s the thing where like you show off the, a crit, start a little crit club.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, everyone brings their work and you guys kind of go around.
3
SPEAKER_01
Something like that, especially if you just started college and there s all these like other, you know, I always found that starting a club or something like that is a great way to get people around you, you know, and also you feel more confident when it s your space.
3
SPEAKER_02
I also think he seems pretty cool to me.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like he called and talked to us.
3
SPEAKER_02
So I really just think it s just him living in his head.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s what we go back and think about.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like, you know, you re just thinking too hard, man.
3
SPEAKER_02
Just, you know, just go with the flow, man.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s really, you know, you end up putting yourself in the situation of being a part of like graphic design.
3
SPEAKER_02
You re around a lot of other people that are into the same things that you are.
3
SPEAKER_02
So eventually, you know, let time, let time, let nature take its course.
3
SPEAKER_02
You know, if you think too hard about it.
3
SPEAKER_00
I appreciate that.
3
SPEAKER_02
You know,
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Especially like my little brother and everything.
3
SPEAKER_00
Cause like we re like not too far.
3
SPEAKER_00
He s like little, like five years younger than me.
3
SPEAKER_00
So like, he s like 15.
3
SPEAKER_00
Um, and he actually did try to call in once and he got shut down cause he s 15.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, Oh dang, I didn t know.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like you had to be 15 to call off.
3
SPEAKER_00
So he was upset about that, but it s all good.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, it was nice of him to take a break from hanging out with the previous caller s boyfriend to call into the show.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, man, I don t know what was going on with that.
3
SPEAKER_00
I heard like a little bit, like a snippet of like Roblox and stuff like that.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I can relate, because my older brother, he plays Roblox, but he s always like- Listen, listen, you and that guy, if you can leave this with anything, you and that guy are both 19 and you sound like you re doing a lot better socially than he is, so.
3
SPEAKER_01
You have that going for you.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
Man, I appreciate that, truly.
3
SPEAKER_01
Of course.
3
SPEAKER_01
Danny, is there anything you want to say to MJ before we go?
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, man.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s just, I think a lot of times, you know, you just got to work on yourself.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like, confidence is everything.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like, you know, you got the new cool haircuts, you know, maybe, you know, get some new clothes and, you know, just work on yourself.
3
SPEAKER_02
Maybe going to the gym, working out.
3
SPEAKER_02
Once you feel better about yourself, then everybody will notice that and everything will just happen for you, man.
3
SPEAKER_02
But if you keep living in your head and feeling like you re cringy, then of course, it s going to project to other people.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I really appreciate that.
3
SPEAKER_00
I actually did start going to the gym this last week because I just look up to my little brother so much because he s just such a calm, cool dude.
3
SPEAKER_00
And he started going to the gym with his friends.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I was like, all right, let me hop on.
3
SPEAKER_00
My dad was like, all right, if you guys want to go, I ll pay for you guys to tag along with him.
3
SPEAKER_00
And we did.
3
SPEAKER_00
And now I m going to the gym and I think like this week I ve lost like maybe like five, six pounds.
3
SPEAKER_02
Hey, congrats.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s great.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s great.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I m going to try to keep on that.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m cooking some food right now.
3
SPEAKER_00
Tilapia, you know, so it s going to be good tonight.
3
SPEAKER_01
Enjoy your lapia.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know what that is, but you said tilapia.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s fine.
3
SPEAKER_00
Sorry.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s like, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, enjoy your tilapia and uh, thanks for calling man.
3
SPEAKER_01
Good luck.
3
SPEAKER_00
Thank you, Geek.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, and I missed your Chicago show.
3
SPEAKER_00
I found out that you existed, like- I ll be back.
3
SPEAKER_01
After- 2024, I m coming back to Chicago.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m going to try to come out every year.
3
SPEAKER_00
I heard, I heard, I heard.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m going to go in 2024.
3
SPEAKER_00
I swear, I swear.
3
SPEAKER_01
You coming to Chicago soon, too?
3
SPEAKER_01
Not that I knew about.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Go see Danny when he comes to Chicago, too.
3
SPEAKER_01
All right.
3
SPEAKER_01
Take care, MJ.
3
SPEAKER_00
All right.
3
SPEAKER_00
Thank you, sir.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I asked you
4
SPEAKER_01
earlier I was like do you feel like this era of your life is like the best it s been and you said fuck no but to phrase it differently do you China to what we were just talking about do you feel like over the years how s your personal confidence in yourself been is that
4
SPEAKER_01
at the highest it s been or?
4
SPEAKER_00
I wouldn t say it s at the highest because I m always I wouldn t I always had like you know pretty confident in myself in some sense but I think I m just um not causing any problems for myself I think that s the the biggest deal
4
SPEAKER_00
But like I say, man, I m so get caught up in my own head as well.
4
SPEAKER_00
And everything, stuff s just been going so good that I get that anxiety of like, ah, something s going to happen to him or whatever, you know?
4
SPEAKER_00
But I would say, man, yeah, I was causing all the problems for myself thinking I was making things better.
4
SPEAKER_00
Now at this point in my life, I m realizing, you know, what the problems were.
4
SPEAKER_00
And the problems wasn t necessarily, um,
4
SPEAKER_00
It was just me.
4
SPEAKER_00
And once you understand like having an unresolved trauma and stuff and you letting go of that, I think that was the biggest takeaway for me going to rehab.
4
SPEAKER_00
It just realizing where everything stemmed from.
4
SPEAKER_00
And once you re able to find the root of the problem, you re able to take care of it, you know?
4
SPEAKER_01
What do you feel like the root of the problem was?
4
SPEAKER_00
Um, a lot of guilt, probably a lot of guilt and then not, not forgiving a lot of people like I can be like, vengeful in some sense, you know, and once you just able to be like, you know, look at it through the other person s eyes, you know, I was able to overcome that.
4
SPEAKER_00
I feel like
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, a lot of times, man, like even just with, you know, people with their parents or family members and stuff like that.
4
SPEAKER_00
And once you re able to just, you know, feel apologetic on their end, then you can, you know, get through it a lot better.
4
SPEAKER_01
Were you holding on to grudges that were like several years?
4
SPEAKER_01
Definitely.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s really what was the big deal.
4
SPEAKER_01
Did you, did you like, did you forgive in a sense of like, let me call this person up or just an internal?
4
SPEAKER_01
Internally.
4
SPEAKER_00
I still, I still struggle with that with, with, um, I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_00
We just calling people like having that drama, you know, like, I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_00
I still, I still struggle with that.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I ve gotten a lot better with it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I ve gotten a lot better with it, especially with expressing myself.
4
SPEAKER_00
Because sometimes stuff cannot go your way, and you can feel a certain way about certain things.
4
SPEAKER_00
And instead of addressing the issue, you just hold it in.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I think that was a big deal with me.
4
SPEAKER_00
That caused a lot of problems with me.
4
SPEAKER_00
Now I just be open about how I feel about stuff.
4
SPEAKER_00
And you realize sometimes, man,
4
SPEAKER_00
Like, people don t give a fuck, man.
4
SPEAKER_00
And you realize, you d be like, man, you might think something happened and you try to think from their point of view.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then once you really just sit down and talk to them, you re like, they didn t really care that much.
4
SPEAKER_00
It wasn t even that big of a deal that I was making it out to be.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, do you do you like it when you when you think of those like multi-year grudges that you re talking about?
4
SPEAKER_01
Do you feel like oh, I m holding on to this thing for several years and this person just probably doesn t even hasn t thought about it Yeah, that s really what it is.
4
SPEAKER_00
Really get down and you talk to me.
4
SPEAKER_00
I didn t even know you were feeling like that about that You feel stupid
4
SPEAKER_00
And that was the big deal with me.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s such a weird thing how like our brains can take certain things and just mess them out of proportion in terms of what s reality.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, and we also like you can assume how other people feel all the time.
4
SPEAKER_01
And you can assume another person s mad at you or upset about this or this and that when they just don t get you just projecting stuff onto them.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and another thing with me was when I know I was wrong in a situation.
4
SPEAKER_00
And for me being wrong, it ll make me hate the other person eventually.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like, you know, it s easier to hate someone when you know you was wrong kind of thing.
4
SPEAKER_00
And just manning up and just accepting responsibility for it, you know, self accountability.
4
SPEAKER_00
That was really the biggest thing for me was just, you know, being accountable for all the fucked up shit that I did, you know, and I was able to get over a lot of things once I realized I was the fucking bad guy.
4
SPEAKER_01
Mm-hmm.
4
SPEAKER_01
Did you like so I know you said you it was kind of a lot of internal forgiveness towards the people who you felt like wronged you did you Make any calls or do any reach-outs of people you felt like oh you kind of fucked up there or anything like that Yeah, definitely
4
SPEAKER_00
Because it feels like a weight off your shoulders.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you know you holding artists, you know internal Trauma and stuff like that over spucked up shit that you did, you know, so for me Yeah, it definitely lifted like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.
4
SPEAKER_01
Mm-hmm
4
SPEAKER_00
Do you, so you re working on new music now, right?
4
SPEAKER_00
Always now.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s my, it s my, that s my sweet spot.
4
SPEAKER_01
Are you taking, are you taking a lot of this, a lot of this stuff and correct me if I m wrong, but it feels like a lot of the stuff that you re talking about is like fresh for you since rehab.
4
SPEAKER_01
And, and I know you, you haven t dropped a, uh, an album since.
4
SPEAKER_01
Do you feel like a lot of these things that you re thinking about and these themes and whatnot, are you going to try to kind of express that?
4
SPEAKER_00
I got an album coming out soon but I think for the most part with a lot of my music it was almost like trauma dumping.
4
SPEAKER_00
You know where I would talk about shit in my music that I was afraid to talk to other people about you know and now it s like you know
4
SPEAKER_00
As much as it was an artistic expression, it almost was like a cry for help, too.
4
SPEAKER_00
And, you know, listening to that music is great.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I put a lot of comedy in my music, so that was the way I masked it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Almost like a dramedy type of situation.
4
SPEAKER_00
But now it s almost like... And it did, because I do get a lot of messages from people be like, you know, some of my most fucked up songs.
4
SPEAKER_00
They re like, man, that helped me get through my shit.
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, it s almost like a weird thing.
4
SPEAKER_00
But now it s like...
4
SPEAKER_00
Just kind of want to make people happy with my music.
4
SPEAKER_00
I want them to feel sad or feel some Feel worried about me type of shit, you know So it s like because I realized you know a lot of the music that I liked growing up as a kid was the type of songs That just made me no matter what I was going through in my life I can listen to this song and just takes me to a happy place.
4
SPEAKER_00
I
4
SPEAKER_00
Not saying I m about to be making some old corny-ass fucking, you know what I m saying?
4
SPEAKER_00
Happy pop music type shit, but just still I want to make people feel good Give them that confidence or just make them just forget all their problems for that three minutes and just dance, you know Do you ever have a song that you just like had you had no intention of it being?
4
SPEAKER_01
being a song like that, that would like help people in that way.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it s just something you just, I don t know, wanted it to be hype or something like that.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then it was interpreted in ways that you didn t think it would be interpreted.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, just like my album, Atrocity Exhibition.
4
SPEAKER_00
That was pretty much, I was, I mean, I was really just in a dark place.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I find that a lot of people, you know, that love that album hit me up and told me, like, man, it helped them.
4
SPEAKER_00
Realized they were going through a lot and you know got them out of a phone, you know, so maybe I don t know I guess sometimes You know people have this whole perception of what artists, you know, we re normal people too.
4
SPEAKER_00
We go through shit, too So I guess people here like oh he having these same problems in these troubles, you know
4
SPEAKER_00
So it s just so, I m at such a great space to see people, you know, let them know that I made it out.
4
SPEAKER_00
So instead of doing all this trauma dumping, I m more so want to help.
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, that s why I always tell anybody, if you re going through something, man, you want to reach out to me, man, I m definitely will answer, you know.
4
SPEAKER_01
Trauma dumping, though, like when you re when you re being open, it is it is helpful for people because people are like, oh, man, Danny Brown s this fucking cool rapper guy.
4
SPEAKER_01
He s probably like just, you know, having sex with models and doing all this.
4
SPEAKER_01
But, you know, and then for you to talk openly about things that you re struggling with, people are like, oh,
4
SPEAKER_01
And then there s people who are like dreaming, they re like, oh, well, once I m like, you know, famous and successful and whatever the fuck, then I m never going to have any problems ever again.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then when they hear people who are successful talk about problems they have, they re like, oh, maybe it s not these external things that I have to achieve to reach, but it s it s something, you know, more more internal.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah like I said I would cause a lot of the problems myself but every time I would like make an album like even now like you know having an album getting ready to come out I would just get this crazy anxiety like I would just be so afraid it was almost like because you know once you re trying to get on you know it s like joy like you re just happy any little thing that happened but once you kind of feel like you made it in some sense
4
SPEAKER_00
it feels like anything can take it away.
4
SPEAKER_00
You don t want to lose that.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like one, I make one trash album, I m done.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I used to just be so scared, like having an album get ready to come out and be like, oh man, just people gonna think it sucks, my career s about to be over, maybe I shouldn t have made that, maybe I should make some more songs and stuff like that.
4
SPEAKER_00
But now it s like, I m just in a happy place, even though this album is a complete trauma dump.
4
SPEAKER_00
But for me, man, a lot of my favorite albums were musicians trauma dumping.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m trying to get on this I m trying to drill into my head this idea that I think I think sucking and being kind of cringy is not that bad it s not that bad if you suck and if everyone thinks
5
SPEAKER_00
suck because whatever man and look as long as as long as you don t like uh go to jail or get grievously injured or die you re you re probably fine you know so like sucking is just in that if you like i want i want to get my base i want to get my perspective
5
SPEAKER_00
to such a point where that s all I care about.
5
SPEAKER_00
If I woke up today and everyone online thinks I m cringy, but I can walk and eat food and stare at the sky, that s pretty good.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s pretty good.
5
SPEAKER_03
That s really important.
5
SPEAKER_03
Because for the most part, music is subjective.
5
SPEAKER_03
It s going to be someone that thinks it sucks.
5
SPEAKER_03
It s going to be someone that loves it, regardless of what, you know?
5
SPEAKER_03
So it s like, man, I used to just put myself through a whirlwind of trouble.
5
SPEAKER_03
And then getting fucked up trying to escape and not think about it, and that just caused more problems, you know?
5
SPEAKER_00
When you re on your, like, deathbed, what are you going to be thinking about?
5
SPEAKER_03
Why you want to think about my deathbed?
5
SPEAKER_03
No, for the most part, I just hope
5
SPEAKER_03
that I ve accomplished what I had to accomplish on Earth.
5
SPEAKER_03
That s really what I think, you know, I wanna be able to, whatever I was put here for to do, I just hope I accomplished the mission.
5
SPEAKER_02
If you died tomorrow, would you be like, we did it?
5
SPEAKER_02
Obviously I did about that.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s pretty good.
5
SPEAKER_00
All right, so then you can spit so then you know everything everything else just a bonus, you know You can suck for the rest of your life and so that s what I feel like, you know I obviously didn t do what I came here to do yet.
5
SPEAKER_03
So, you know But I ain t trying to think about that no time.
5
SPEAKER_03
So I spend too much time thinking about immortality You know, so now I m just you know, instead of thinking about fucking dying all the time thinking about living now
5
SPEAKER_00
I saw I saw I saw I was I was doing some research on you before this and I saw someone wrote a headline about you that said like Danny Brown That s a that s a that s a dangerous invitation to the universe I mean, I guess not man Twitter paying people for tweets man So they doing anything for engagements at this point, you know, hey, you want to take a phone call?
5
SPEAKER_03
Sure.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I was pissed off about that.
5
SPEAKER_03
I m like, what the fuck?
5
SPEAKER_03
Out of all that long-ass article, that s what y all took from that?
5
SPEAKER_03
Nah, he has a new album coming soon, nothing else.
5
SPEAKER_03
He s not scared to die.
5
SPEAKER_03
And that really just was me talking about a mushroom trip I had, where I saw my grave, and I was like, oh, that s not that bad.
5
SPEAKER_00
So what the fuck?
5
SPEAKER_00
Hello?
5
SPEAKER_00
Hello.
5
SPEAKER_00
This is Sam27 from California.
5
SPEAKER_00
How you doing?
5
SPEAKER_00
How s life?
5
SPEAKER_01
I m doing all right.
5
SPEAKER_01
Doing all right.
5
SPEAKER_00
Uh, Sam, what is it you wanted to talk about today?
5
SPEAKER_01
Wanted to talk about growing up in the Mormon church as a black man adopted into a white family in the California suburbs.
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you know anything about Mormonism, Sam?
5
SPEAKER_01
Fuck no!
5
SPEAKER_00
What, uh... I do, indeed.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, I was asking, I assume you know a lot about Mormonism, unless if you weren t paying attention while they were teaching you about it.
5
SPEAKER_00
How long were you in the church for?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I was in it until I was 15.
5
SPEAKER_01
I got taken out of the home when I was around that age.
5
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, I was in it for 15 years and my entire, except for my mom, is out of the religion now.
5
SPEAKER_00
Did, were you the first one to leave?
5
SPEAKER_01
No, my older brother was.
5
SPEAKER_01
So my parents pretty much gave him the ultimatum that when you turn 18, you can stay in the house, but there s no drinking, no smoking, no, no, no sex before marriage or anything like that.
5
SPEAKER_01
And you re guaranteed a spot.
5
SPEAKER_01
But if not, then you have to leave.
5
SPEAKER_01
So he s like, fine, I ll join the military.
5
SPEAKER_00
So you left and joined the military.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
That sounds,
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know which one is worse between being in the Mormon church or being in the military.
5
SPEAKER_00
They both sound like a similar level of strictness.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, they re both pretty bad, but one of them doesn t really care if you jerk off at night and the other one, you know, does.
5
SPEAKER_01
Different levels of rigidness, I assume.
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you, uh, where, where, where are you jerking off at night in the, is it like in the bathroom or are you just like in the bunk beds jerking off?
5
SPEAKER_00
Like while you re in the same room as all the other folks?
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, hell no.
5
SPEAKER_01
That shit is hella shameful.
5
SPEAKER_01
Get it in wherever you can.
5
SPEAKER_01
You re hiding that shit.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know, wait for everyone to go home.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know, wait for one to leave, whatever.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s crazy.
5
SPEAKER_01
Hell is shameful.
5
SPEAKER_01
Shit sucks.
5
SPEAKER_00
Danny, any questions so far?
5
SPEAKER_03
I m at a loss for words.
5
SPEAKER_03
So you left a religion just to jack off?
5
SPEAKER_01
Hell yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Come on now.
5
SPEAKER_03
This is what they have in our armed forces?
5
SPEAKER_03
China gonna fuck us up.
5
SPEAKER_00
No, well, I have, have they, we, I think what we got to do is you need to wet, you need to somehow weaponize jerking off so that you can use it as some form of accomplish that some form of biochemical.
5
SPEAKER_00
You can use your penis as like a biochemical weapon.
5
SPEAKER_03
You crazy dog joining the military just to jack off.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, you have to.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, that s the only reason to join the military.
5
SPEAKER_01
You want to go kill kids in different country and I ll be able to check off.
5
SPEAKER_00
You got me there.
5
SPEAKER_00
What do you what do you do now?
5
SPEAKER_00
Are you still in the military?
5
SPEAKER_01
No, no, that was my brother.
5
SPEAKER_01
I was in the military.
5
SPEAKER_01
I just I just left.
5
SPEAKER_01
So yeah.
5
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_03
I m terrified of this guy.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it s the upbringing, man.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know?
5
SPEAKER_01
Are you sure you re black?
5
SPEAKER_01
Left me a little weird.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
See, that s the thing, though.
5
SPEAKER_01
Because even though I was born in the Bronx, when you re adopted by a bunch of, like, white people from the Midwest, you kind of sound white.
5
SPEAKER_01
You feel me?
5
SPEAKER_03
All right.
5
SPEAKER_03
I got you.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I did some time in the tent though.
5
SPEAKER_00
Are you happier now that you re out of the church and out of the military?
5
SPEAKER_00
And now you re jacking off is not under monitored, is not being monitored by any organization of any kind.
5
SPEAKER_01
No, no, I get to jack off freely now.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s a good life.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s a good life.
5
SPEAKER_00
Are you jacking off while you re on the phone with us right now?
5
SPEAKER_01
What was the question?
5
SPEAKER_01
No, no.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s for later.
5
SPEAKER_01
Get out of here.
5
SPEAKER_01
Come on now.
5
SPEAKER_03
later.
5
SPEAKER_03
What do you want us to help you with?
5
SPEAKER_03
Do you like lemons?
5
SPEAKER_00
He asked if we like lemons.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I like lemons.
5
SPEAKER_00
I like lemonade.
5
SPEAKER_01
Should I make my friend lemon meringue pie this weekend?
5
SPEAKER_03
If you re not going to jack off in it.
5
SPEAKER_03
I think he just trolled.
5
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no.
5
SPEAKER_01
Just lemons.
5
SPEAKER_01
Just lemons.
5
SPEAKER_00
Do you feel satisfied by this phone call, Sam?
5
SPEAKER_01
I m quite satisfied.
5
SPEAKER_00
Is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?
5
SPEAKER_01
Don t jack off into lemon meringue pie.
5
SPEAKER_01
and leave Mormonism if it s bad for you.
5
SPEAKER_03
It s noted.
5
SPEAKER_03
Thanks, Ben.
5
SPEAKER_01
Take care.
5
SPEAKER_00
Man, he s a psycho.
5
SPEAKER_00
That guy was definitely jacking off on the phone.
5
SPEAKER_03
Oh man, I feel like that s a villain arc start.
5
SPEAKER_00
yeah and he s got um that is a that is quite a quite an interesting villain arc because he has the traumatic childhood of a villain and then he s got the weapons training of a villain as well yeah and he s just one jack off everywhere yeah he needs to find a girlfriend do you jack off a lot i used to what what changed um
5
SPEAKER_03
Not being hung over.
5
SPEAKER_00
Does being hung over make you want to jerk off a lot?
5
SPEAKER_00
I think so.
5
SPEAKER_00
It did.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Huh.
5
SPEAKER_00
Would you like with all that adrenaline?
6
SPEAKER_00
After the shows do you are you a nightly?
6
SPEAKER_00
post show Jack Jacker offer
6
SPEAKER_01
Nah, I wouldn t say not, nah, I wouldn t really.
6
SPEAKER_01
I was kinda sleeping for the most part.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like I said, I work, I get some work in before I know it, I pass out.
6
SPEAKER_01
But I was taking valerian root.
6
SPEAKER_01
What s valerian root?
6
SPEAKER_01
It s just like some valerian root capsules they say help with anxiety.
6
SPEAKER_01
And it really worked, it really worked good.
6
SPEAKER_01
So I would get off stage, I d take some valerian root, and I d be calm.
6
SPEAKER_01
I think jacking off is more like a... Stimulant?
6
SPEAKER_01
just like i don t know something you feel like cures anxiety or like you just like nervousness or absolutely i don t know yeah so it was one of those kind of things or like you just can t sleep yeah you know but for the most part i was getting good sleep on the road you know what s this thing called again valerian valerian root is that can you buy it at like a place or do you have to order it just like you know okay yeah it works
6
SPEAKER_00
Cause I ve had a lot of nights where like, uh, I m just like jacking off like a, like four times in a row or something like that just to fall asleep.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I ve been there.
6
SPEAKER_00
And it s hard in the suit because I have gloves on.
6
SPEAKER_00
It probably feels better.
6
SPEAKER_00
It does.
6
SPEAKER_00
Jaden from Wisconsin just had a baby.
6
SPEAKER_00
It wasn t intentional, but he wants to know what our advice would be to young parents.
6
SPEAKER_00
You re a parent, right?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
You want to talk to Jaden?
6
SPEAKER_00
You got to be a father to your child.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s kind of simple.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, shit.
6
SPEAKER_00
Jaden, what s going on?
6
SPEAKER_01
Hey, what s up?
6
SPEAKER_00
How s it going, man?
6
SPEAKER_00
I m here with Mr. Danny Brown.
6
SPEAKER_00
We re talking to people on the phone.
6
SPEAKER_00
How s life?
6
SPEAKER_02
Pretty good, man.
6
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I guess, how about you guys?
6
SPEAKER_02
Seems like you guys are having a pretty good time on there.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, we re great.
6
SPEAKER_01
We re chilling.
6
SPEAKER_02
Fuck yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m having fun, too.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s what s up.
6
SPEAKER_02
Well, I called in about the baby, but then I thought, do you guys know what a cowboy kiss is?
6
No.
6
SPEAKER_01
No?
6
SPEAKER_01
So,
6
SPEAKER_02
I had this boss.
6
SPEAKER_00
Well, I guess you could call him a cowboy, but... It s so funny how we were talking before... We were talking before going live, and I had asked... Dan had asked you if you had ever taken phone calls before on your shows.
6
SPEAKER_00
You said you, like, used to, but there was too much weird shit.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
And then the weird shit... This is some of that, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
So what s a cowboy kiss?
6
SPEAKER_02
So when a grown man, I guess this grown man was about 70 years old.
6
SPEAKER_02
Uh, he thinks you re either doing a pretty bad job or a pretty good job.
6
SPEAKER_02
And he, uh, he surprises you with a slap first.
6
SPEAKER_02
And then he proceeds to lean in and kiss you when you don t, when you don t expect it, man, don t expect it at all baffles you.
6
SPEAKER_01
So you got the cowboy kiss.
6
SPEAKER_02
I got the cowboy kiss, man.
6
SPEAKER_02
And you know, honestly, yeah, he slapped me.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m not going to lie to you.
6
SPEAKER_01
And you didn t hit him back.
6
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I did.
6
SPEAKER_02
I did.
6
SPEAKER_02
I gave him a cowboy kiss back.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
6
SPEAKER_01
This sounds like some form of BDSM.
6
SPEAKER_02
I mean, kinda.
6
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I didn t, I don t know though, cause I didn t like it at first, but you like it now.
6
SPEAKER_02
No, no, no, I ended up quitting that job not because of the cowboy kids, but he was he was a crazy redneck on PCP That doesn t never really make you 70 years old Dude no in the fucking trees big-ass bucket truck cutting down them trees Okay cowboy hat on bowl of PCP
6
SPEAKER_02
I m not even like fucking with you guys or nothing.
6
SPEAKER_02
I like it.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m so dead ass right now.
6
SPEAKER_01
What kind of job was this?
6
SPEAKER_02
I was a lumberjack.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh shit.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s some, that s some hard work right there.
6
SPEAKER_00
Um, how are things going with your child?
6
SPEAKER_02
They re doing great, man.
6
SPEAKER_02
She s pretty cool.
6
SPEAKER_02
She just likes to look around and sleep and poop and
6
SPEAKER_02
yell at me, but that s okay.
6
SPEAKER_00
Um, you called and you said you wanted some advice to a young parent.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Dan, how old were you when you had your kid?
6
SPEAKER_00
I m 20.
6
20?
6
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
6
SPEAKER_00
Was that, was that difficult for you or was there any things that you remember kind of being stressed out about or struggling with?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, financially.
6
SPEAKER_01
Worrying about how I was going to take care of my baby.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, for real.
6
SPEAKER_01
So yeah, that was the biggest deal.
6
SPEAKER_01
But I think when you have a kid that young, you just got to realize your life is over.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s over, brother.
6
SPEAKER_01
Ain t no more party and none of that.
6
SPEAKER_01
The party is over.
6
SPEAKER_01
No more none of that.
6
SPEAKER_01
Everything is for the kid now.
6
SPEAKER_01
No more cowboy kisses.
6
SPEAKER_01
No more cowboy kisses.
6
SPEAKER_01
So it s all about the baby now.
6
SPEAKER_01
Your whole life is dedicated to taking care of this beautiful life that you brought into the world.
6
SPEAKER_02
Man, I,
6
SPEAKER_02
I got my whole own crib now.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m remodeling a house, because I ended up getting into this farm, which I m going to be buying.
6
SPEAKER_02
And it ll be pretty cool, because it s like I m buying it on payments from this old lady.
6
SPEAKER_01
You got a lot going on for someone just 18.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I was going to say, man.
6
SPEAKER_00
You re buying a farm.
6
SPEAKER_00
You re a lumberjack.
6
SPEAKER_00
You re having a kid.
6
SPEAKER_00
Do you have any advice for me?
6
SPEAKER_02
Keep doing what you re doing, man.
6
SPEAKER_02
I fucking love watching you.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, thanks, man.
6
SPEAKER_02
You got my earbuds in, cutting down some trees.
6
SPEAKER_00
Hey man, you keep doing what you re doing.
6
SPEAKER_00
I love milk.
6
SPEAKER_02
Oh, and actually I called you a while back as Rob about my cat.
6
SPEAKER_02
And you told me to put him into jail for a thousand years.
6
SPEAKER_02
And I think that was pretty good advice.
6
SPEAKER_00
I told you to put your cat in jail?
6
SPEAKER_02
For a thousand years.
6
SPEAKER_00
And look at you now, you re buying a farm.
6
SPEAKER_02
Fuck yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
The cat gets to come with me though, I can t lie.
6
SPEAKER_00
What s the, what, how s everything going with the mom?
6
SPEAKER_00
Are you still with her?
6
SPEAKER_00
What s going on with her?
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, we re doing pretty good.
6
SPEAKER_02
She s at one of her friend s houses.
6
SPEAKER_02
It was my first night alone with the baby.
6
SPEAKER_00
It was your first night alone with the baby?
6
SPEAKER_02
And you calling us?
6
SPEAKER_02
I was about to say.
6
SPEAKER_02
You re supposed to be taking care of the baby, man.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m holding her right now.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
6
SPEAKER_02
I am.
6
SPEAKER_02
I gave her a bottle actually right before you guys answered.
6
SPEAKER_02
That was pretty cool.
6
SPEAKER_01
Good job, man.
6
SPEAKER_01
Good job.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think you re going to be fine.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
You sound like a great... I wish you were my dad.
6
SPEAKER_02
I will be.
6
SPEAKER_02
Send me the adoption paper.
6
SPEAKER_00
That s cool.
6
SPEAKER_00
All right, I m moving.
6
SPEAKER_00
I d love to... Hey man, if you prepare a nice bale of hay for me, I ll live in your farm and be your son.
6
SPEAKER_02
I don t mind.
6
SPEAKER_02
I ll give you two bales of hay.
6
SPEAKER_02
How about that?
6
SPEAKER_00
We ll make a big round.
6
SPEAKER_00
Well, Jaden...
6
SPEAKER_00
Damn, you actually really do sound like you have, genuinely, you sound like you re gonna be okay.
6
SPEAKER_00
I m not worried about you at all.
6
SPEAKER_00
Fuck yeah, thank you.
6
SPEAKER_00
I appreciate that.
6
SPEAKER_00
Any other final words for Jaden?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, man, just act like I told him, man.
6
SPEAKER_01
Everything is about the baby now, man.
6
SPEAKER_01
Your life is over.
6
SPEAKER_02
Man, you sound like Drewski.
6
SPEAKER_00
All right, take care, Jaden.
6
SPEAKER_02
You too, man.
6
SPEAKER_02
It was awesome talking to you.
6
SPEAKER_02
Have a good night.
6
SPEAKER_00
Good talking to you too, man.
6
SPEAKER_00
Well, it s funny, I believe the same thing, right?
6
SPEAKER_00
Like when you have a kid, your life is pretty much over.
6
SPEAKER_00
But that doesn t seem like it was the case for you.
6
SPEAKER_00
You ve lived a full life up until this point.
6
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I wasn t a lumberjack at 18, I was selling cracks.
6
SPEAKER_01
But I had young parents, you know?
6
SPEAKER_01
My mom was 18 when she had me, my dad was 16.
6
SPEAKER_01
And look how I turned out, so, hey.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, fucked up.
6
SPEAKER_01
But no, I mean, and my parents, they partied every weekend, really type shit.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
So that s what I m saying.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like, that was where a lot of my fucking, you know, my a lot of I got into a lot of trouble.
6
SPEAKER_00
Because of that, you know, are you still are your parents still around?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
6
SPEAKER_00
Are you still cool with that?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, good.
6
SPEAKER_00
Good.
6
SPEAKER_00
Have you and like, were you cool with them your whole life?
6
SPEAKER_01
You know, I guess it s like everything else has been when I was fucking up, you know, you know It was always button heads for my mom or but I mean my dad we got really close.
6
SPEAKER_00
So this is good It s good how things going with your daughter now?
6
SPEAKER_01
She s great.
6
SPEAKER_01
She just was out here not too long ago, hanging out, you know, she s 22 now.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, cool.
6
SPEAKER_00
So she grown.
6
SPEAKER_00
What s her, like, what s she do?
6
SPEAKER_00
What s her, what s her deal?
6
SPEAKER_00
What s she into?
6
SPEAKER_01
She s into like photography and shit.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, cool.
6
SPEAKER_01
You know, she come out here, she go thrifting and shit.
6
SPEAKER_01
Same shit, you know.
6
SPEAKER_00
Now, when you said you were 20, when you had her, and you were like, and then the main issue was just like financial,
7
SPEAKER_00
stuff yeah and then her mom went together so just that whole hard part of just being able to see her and being around her and stuff like that but then you know we eventually worked it out but I mean I like I had a lot of crazy shit like I had my first um well was having my first child at 16
7
SPEAKER_00
and the mom was um she went nine months and didn t have a miscarriage and the baby died and i struggled with that for a long time didn t really realize how much it affected me because i was like running around in the streets at the time but once i really got older it was like man i was i went through a real something that really shaped my life for the rest you know the rest of my life and it really yeah
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, just dealing with that in high school That s you supposed to be thinking about fucking homework and graduating and shit like that And I m running around selling drugs having babies, you know, so that was really hard Was there it was there like a point in your life or even even now where like you were thinking a lot about things from high school in your early life and and being like having that realization that they still affect you to this day and
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, definitely.
7
SPEAKER_00
I always think about how shit would have turned out if I just would have did the right thing.
7
SPEAKER_00
I mean, maybe I wouldn t be here right now.
7
SPEAKER_00
Maybe I wouldn t be making music or anything, you know?
7
SPEAKER_00
Like, I think about that all the time.
7
SPEAKER_00
Like, you know, it was a gift and a curse in some sense, you know?
7
SPEAKER_00
If I would have had a baby at 16, I probably would have been working some bullshit job right now, you know?
7
SPEAKER_00
I wouldn t have been able to fucking follow my dreams of making music, you know?
7
SPEAKER_00
So it was almost like that s my angel in the sky, like, you know, getting me through life kind of shit, you know?
7
SPEAKER_01
And at 20, was it like, was it an intentional decision to have a kid?
7
SPEAKER_00
No, definitely not.
7
SPEAKER_00
But I think, yeah, we was going through the trauma of losing that one.
7
SPEAKER_00
So yeah, it was, I mean, I wouldn t say it was intentional, but you know, I m pretty sure.
7
SPEAKER_01
So it was the same girl at 16 and 20?
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
7
SPEAKER_01
Um, do you, and, and was it like right sort of after you had the kid that things started going awry with her?
7
SPEAKER_00
No, it was already, it was like before any of that happened, it was like, we were already kind of like, you know, you know you is when you re young.
7
SPEAKER_00
I was running around, she was doing her thing too.
7
SPEAKER_00
And it was just, you know, we were still fooling around.
7
SPEAKER_00
Just end up happening.
7
SPEAKER_00
But then we end up we was together.
7
SPEAKER_00
We got back together for some years.
7
SPEAKER_00
We was together for a long time and Then I just was a piece of shit, you know, I was I wasn t really ready For that kind of thing.
7
SPEAKER_00
Like I wasn t ready for like a I just didn t understand I m like I say I came from young parents who I didn t even understand what it takes to have a family Mm-hmm, you know, so I just think you know, like a lot of fucked up part on me, you know still I was still trying to be young to
7
SPEAKER_01
You know, it s a wild thing, because I feel like if you if you like have a kid, your life is over.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s like it s about the kid.
7
SPEAKER_01
But I don t know.
7
SPEAKER_01
Now I m thinking about Jaden.
7
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, he really did seem like he had it together.
7
SPEAKER_00
Like me, I was running around.
7
SPEAKER_00
So like even, you know, having a kid and trying to sell drugs like any day, the shit could have been over and I could have been in jail, which happened.
7
SPEAKER_00
I went to jail for a year and that s pretty much how we split up.
7
SPEAKER_00
She met somebody else and moved on you know type shit and then you know I got out it s hard to see my daughter and this and that and just hard to keep that relationship going and but it did give me a drive to make it in music though like I m you know I m just almost like just like
7
SPEAKER_00
I got it.
7
SPEAKER_00
I had nothing else going for me.
7
SPEAKER_00
You know, I dropped out of school, didn t have any education, really.
7
SPEAKER_00
And all I knew how to do was fucking sell drugs at that point to get money.
7
SPEAKER_00
I was trying to get like normal jobs and shit and just working like normal jobs.
7
SPEAKER_00
I fucking just couldn t.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m not like.
7
SPEAKER_00
built for labor but you there s but there s there s something of like you were built to be an entrepreneur mm-hmm you know you re built to like make it for yourself but not like you know work but it did give me that drive though yeah I would say because I would like I would take 12-hour Greyhound trips to New York with a bag of CDs and just trying to network this days before like cell phones and shit I m going out there without a
7
SPEAKER_00
phone.
7
SPEAKER_00
Were you like doing the thing at Times Square like handing out CDs and stuff?
7
SPEAKER_00
In the beginning yeah but then I had met an A&R that worked at Def Jam.
7
SPEAKER_00
So then I had that connection with him and I would talk to him and I would come out.
7
SPEAKER_00
Sometimes I would just pop up on him and be like I m out here.
7
SPEAKER_00
and then he ll let me like crash at his crib and we d like take me around the studios and shit and that s really how it all started for me and then I just was making music you know and you know people getting up on my shit and shit like just making connections kind of you know and then I actually just saw him not too long ago when we were in New York and then I ended up going to jail
7
SPEAKER_00
Lost that shit then I came when I got back out.
7
SPEAKER_01
It was this was this you had like you kind of like a record thing in the process, you know, just networking and building with him.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, once I But this was like way before like internet shit kind of you know, yeah, so I
7
SPEAKER_00
the main deal would be like, you know, I would go out to New York and then people are like Hit back like seeing, you know hit up like people in Detroit and like you heard of this kid and this and that and then nobody knew who I was So it was almost like when I got a just like I got to make my name known in my city Before I can take it anywhere else.
7
SPEAKER_00
So that s what I did once I got out of jail I would like go to open mics and you know Just make music and put it out and then the internet things start taking off, you know getting my music on blogs and stuff like that and then everything just kind of
7
SPEAKER_00
came together because I already had like the connections in New York and then once I got my name up in my city then everything just like opened up for me.
7
SPEAKER_01
Do you ever think about what you would be doing if it wasn t for music or even like any other like positive thing you would have sunk your work ethic into?
7
SPEAKER_00
Honestly, I can t, I can t think so.
7
SPEAKER_00
I don t think so.
7
SPEAKER_00
Because, um, like most of my friends from like back then, they are pretty much dead or in jail as cliche as that sounds.
7
SPEAKER_00
And if not, then it s just like, you know, working dead in jobs or, you know, so I don t know, man.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s almost like
7
SPEAKER_00
Music was, that s like my last, that s like my last thing that I had, man.
7
SPEAKER_00
Are you still friends with anyone from around that time?
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, definitely.
7
SPEAKER_00
Like a lot of my friends, you know.
7
SPEAKER_00
But I feel like I met a lot of my, you know, newer friends through music.
7
SPEAKER_00
Like we, like I said, you know, doing the same shit.
7
SPEAKER_00
So like a lot of my friends that I have now is like from my music time and not from my street days, you know.
7
SPEAKER_01
Do you like, so your kind of social life nowadays, do you find yourself mainly trying to hang around other people who are sober?
7
SPEAKER_00
No, I wouldn t say that.
7
SPEAKER_00
Because one thing they teach you in rehab is that you can t, the worst thing you can do is try to run from it.
7
SPEAKER_00
You know?
7
SPEAKER_00
You have to be able to like, so when people around, I want them to be able to be comfortable and do whatever they want to do.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s not going to trigger me.
7
SPEAKER_00
I already got it in my head that, you know?
7
SPEAKER_00
that s not what i m trying to do that s not where i m living so the last thing you can do is try to run from it and that s just that s just causing more problems for yourself like if you re not around it for years at the end all of a sudden you around it yeah might be subject to relapse there s a weird thing of like if you re engaging
7
SPEAKER_01
But both engaging in an activity constantly and engaging in the avoidance of an activity constantly are still both forms of that activity having some fucking control over you.
7
SPEAKER_00
So that s why when I m around people
7
SPEAKER_00
I want them to do what they want to do to feel comfortable and be able to be in a element and not be worried about me, you know?
7
SPEAKER_00
That was solely the reason why I didn t ride on a tour bus, because I didn t want anybody to feel like they couldn t get fucked up around me and be like that.
7
SPEAKER_00
So I was like, you know, it s all good.
7
SPEAKER_00
I ll just take a van and just ride behind the bus.
7
SPEAKER_00
Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.
7
SPEAKER_01
Who do you, when you go on tour, are you with like your girlfriend and like you have?
7
SPEAKER_00
Nah, I ve got my tour manager and my DJ.
7
SPEAKER_01
Cool.
7
SPEAKER_01
Cool, cool, cool.
7
SPEAKER_00
I mean, my girl came up to a few shows, you know, we kicked it.
7
SPEAKER_00
But for the most part, it s like when I m locked into like music mode, I can t have any outside distractions.
7
SPEAKER_01
Hmm, you know, are you when you re before do you ever make any like adaptations to to your songs while you re performing?
7
SPEAKER_00
You re like, oh that might sound better doing that a lot of time Yeah, sometimes it s just you know, like, you know, you re performing songs that are so old or like, you know these songs I wrote ten years ago some shit like that and I
7
SPEAKER_00
It almost just happened like a freestyle type of thing where I m singing the songs because I m not like listening to them all the time.
7
SPEAKER_00
Right.
7
SPEAKER_00
Type of thing.
7
SPEAKER_00
So sometime I get up there and I ll be rapping and I would change a line.
7
SPEAKER_00
It just happens on its own.
7
SPEAKER_00
Before I know it, that becomes the line when I perform it live.
7
SPEAKER_01
What s your fan base like?
7
SPEAKER_01
Like what kind of, what demographics you seeing out there?
7
SPEAKER_00
um well this last tour it was it was crazy because it was a lot of younger kids and i just you know that i wasn t really used to that like i didn t really see too many kids at my shows but you know i guess peggy he has a younger fan base than me so it was cool to
8
SPEAKER_02
see some kids out there you know enjoying the music and shit but for the most part I think I don t know I think I gotta I couldn t I couldn t really say you know how s it how s it make you feel when people tell you that like you know you you inspire them or that they look up to you and whatnot what s your kind of like relationship to other people s perspective on you
8
SPEAKER_01
it inspired me to be honest you know before I probably wouldn t even give a shit you know but now I just realized how much it is a blessing to been doing this for over 10 years now so now it s almost like I m just grateful man to be even in still in the same position to still have to try to make music to still for newer fans to come and hear my shit every day is almost just like a blessing man because
8
SPEAKER_01
I ve seen so many people that started when I started and they not here no more.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
You know and I mean like I say man music is subjective man you d never know man when it s your last song or you know like it s been so many artists that I m huge fans of and they can t you know people are not checking for this shit and this and that so it s just scary man it s a slippery slope man.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s yeah, that s kind of back to what we you were talking about with like the when things are going good It s like there s a weird fucking anxiety like everything s gonna Tumble I feel I feel that way to like I m you know, I m lucky enough to get to do a podcast where people can You know talk to me about jerking off into pies Now I ve gotten better with it though.
8
SPEAKER_01
Like I just think it s for the most part man.
8
SPEAKER_01
Just I
8
SPEAKER_01
You gotta have faith, you know?
8
SPEAKER_01
As weird as that sounds, man, I hate it, but you gotta have faith.
8
SPEAKER_01
I know what you mean.
8
SPEAKER_02
You gotta stop being such a baby and be like, nah, I got this.
8
SPEAKER_01
I just feel like when you know you re doing the right shit in life, the right shit s gonna happen for you.
8
SPEAKER_01
If you out there fucking up and you being a piece of shit, then of course you got a lot of shit to worry about.
8
SPEAKER_01
Karma s real, man.
8
SPEAKER_02
Hey, you wanna talk to another caller?
8
SPEAKER_02
Sure.
8
SPEAKER_02
Shane, his boss has a drinking problem and is constantly oversharing about it, and it makes him uncomfortable.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I guess I definitely have a lot of experience with that.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yo.
8
SPEAKER_03
Hello.
8
SPEAKER_02
What s up, Shane25 from Ohio.
8
SPEAKER_02
How s life?
8
SPEAKER_03
Oh, it s not too bad.
8
SPEAKER_03
How s it going for you?
8
SPEAKER_02
Danny, how you feeling?
8
SPEAKER_02
I m great.
8
SPEAKER_02
How you doing, brother?
8
SPEAKER_02
Good, good.
8
SPEAKER_02
Well, Shane, you messaged in saying that you re dealing with an oversharing boss.
8
SPEAKER_02
Is that correct?
8
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, yeah.
8
SPEAKER_02
Tell us more or tell us whatever you desire to tell us.
8
SPEAKER_03
Well, yeah, I work at this catering company.
8
SPEAKER_03
It s actually based out of an old slaughterhouse.
8
SPEAKER_03
It s a really creepy building.
8
SPEAKER_03
but it s currently being bought out by somebody else.
8
SPEAKER_03
He s cool enough, I guess.
8
SPEAKER_03
I don t have anything against him, but he likes to overshare a lot about his personal stuff, very personal stuff.
8
SPEAKER_03
He told me a while back that he s got a drinking problem and he s going to meetings about it every day, which is cool.
8
SPEAKER_03
Good for him.
8
SPEAKER_03
He s currently also drinking on the job as well.
8
SPEAKER_03
He takes little Diet Cokes and
8
SPEAKER_03
mixes it with whiskey, I ve found.
8
SPEAKER_02
Well, here s the thing.
8
SPEAKER_02
In terms of the jobs that he could be getting drunk at, catering company, not that bad.
8
SPEAKER_02
That s fair.
8
SPEAKER_03
It s not like there s a bunch of people that work there.
8
SPEAKER_03
It s kind of just myself, basically.
8
SPEAKER_02
Are you, are you like debating about like what, I guess, what, what anguish, if any, is, is this presenting to you?
8
SPEAKER_03
It s just really awkward.
8
SPEAKER_03
I don t do good with people who overshare, especially people, um, they don t know super well.
8
SPEAKER_02
And yet you re a fan of this podcast.
8
SPEAKER_03
I know.
8
SPEAKER_03
That s weird, isn t it?
8
SPEAKER_02
Hmm.
8
SPEAKER_02
Danny, you ever have somebody in your life overshare in a way that makes you feel...
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it was probably me.
8
SPEAKER_01
You know, they say a drunk person speaks a sober mind, you know?
8
SPEAKER_01
And the only people that tell the truth is people that are mad, kids, and drunk motherfuckers.
8
SPEAKER_01
So sounds like to me, man, it seems like he s going to meetings so he know he has a problem, which is the first step to getting help and to being on a road to sobriety.
8
SPEAKER_01
I think for the most part, you got to do is just tell him he s making you uncomfortable.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s just the easiest thing to do, especially when he s drunk, you know, like dog, shut the fuck up.
8
SPEAKER_01
You know, he s drunk.
8
SPEAKER_01
You re not going to take it anyway.
8
SPEAKER_03
You know, do you drink?
8
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_03
That s fair.
8
SPEAKER_03
Um, not really.
8
SPEAKER_03
No, I, I smoke more than I drink for sure.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_02
Now I have a question.
8
SPEAKER_02
Why does it make you uncomfortable when, when this guy shares with you?
8
SPEAKER_03
Um, she don t really know him super well, you know, he s, he, he just started kind of working there a few months ago.
8
SPEAKER_03
Um, yeah, I guess I can t really explain why it makes me super uncomfortable.
8
SPEAKER_02
I don t, I don t, I don t know if this is just like a weird thing with me and I guess it is like what I do on this podcast, but I don t mind.
8
SPEAKER_02
I mean, unless if it s like incessant.
8
SPEAKER_02
I don t mind hearing about people s personal lives.
8
SPEAKER_02
I usually find that interesting.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, because I find humor in it, to be honest.
8
SPEAKER_01
But all you got to do, like you say, if he s going to meetings and he realizes he s got a problem, if you just sat him down and talked to him like, man, I think you really got a problem.
8
SPEAKER_01
You need to get some help.
8
SPEAKER_01
I bet you wouldn t talk to your ass no more because he just don t want to drink.
8
SPEAKER_01
So he s going to leave you out this shit.
8
SPEAKER_01
Like, fuck that.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m getting drunk.
8
SPEAKER_01
I don t want to talk to him.
8
SPEAKER_01
He s going to talk about I need help and this and that.
8
SPEAKER_01
So yeah, but if he s still drinking and going to meetings then he s fucked up.
8
SPEAKER_02
He s just he s all over the place Are you trying are you trying to help him or just you?
8
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, that s all you gotta do is had that talk with like man I think you really need some help.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m worried about you get on the road to sobriety I bet you gonna leave your ass alone in
8
SPEAKER_03
You know, if he drinks, I don t give a shit.
8
SPEAKER_01
Whatever he does in his personal life, I don t care.
8
SPEAKER_02
Act like you care.
8
SPEAKER_02
Oh, you think him acting like he cares will be like, oh, I don t want to talk to this guy anymore.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, because he don t want to drink, so he s going to leave him alone.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that s smart.
8
SPEAKER_02
That s smart.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, just pretend like you really want him to stop.
8
SPEAKER_02
You re like, man, I m worried about you, man.
8
SPEAKER_03
Should I sit in the meetings with him, you think?
8
SPEAKER_01
Fuck no.
8
SPEAKER_02
But then he ll definitely never talk to you again.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, maybe you should.
8
SPEAKER_02
Um, dude, do you get like at the catering job, do you get like free mozzarella sticks afterwards when they re done?
8
SPEAKER_03
Um, I mean, I get free whatever, whatever we have there.
8
SPEAKER_02
Shit, man.
8
SPEAKER_02
Getting drunk on the job and then having a bunch of like chicken sliders and shit afterwards.
8
SPEAKER_02
That sounds pretty awesome.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s all you gotta do.
8
SPEAKER_01
Just talk to him about getting clean.
8
SPEAKER_01
He ain t gonna talk to you no more.
8
SPEAKER_01
He ll leave you alone.
8
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, maybe I ll do that.
8
SPEAKER_02
Shane, is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?
8
SPEAKER_03
No, I don t think so.
8
SPEAKER_03
I think I m good.
8
SPEAKER_02
Have a good rest of the night, Shane.
8
SPEAKER_02
Thank you all.
8
SPEAKER_02
Thank you, Danny.
8
SPEAKER_02
Thank you, brother.
8
SPEAKER_02
Hey guys, it s Lyle here.
8
SPEAKER_02
I m about to do some ad reads, but if you re a premium member of the podcast, you will not hear them.
8
SPEAKER_02
Premium members, or GECK legends, as I like to call them, get access to every episode of this podcast ad-free.
8
SPEAKER_02
They also get bonus episodes, recordings for my live shows, members-only streams,
8
SPEAKER_02
and they support my ability to keep doing this show for a long time, do it in cooler, more interesting places, and also eat food, which is important.
8
SPEAKER_02
If any of that sounds cool to you, you can go to therapygecko.supercast.com to become a GECK legend, or find the link in the episode description.
8
SPEAKER_02
Alright, let s do some ads.
8
SPEAKER_02
Let s talk to Elizabeth.
8
SPEAKER_02
Hello, Elizabeth.
8
SPEAKER_00
Hello.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
8
SPEAKER_00
Hi, Elizabeth.
8
SPEAKER_02
How are you doing?
8
SPEAKER_00
Hello.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m good.
8
SPEAKER_00
How are you doing?
8
SPEAKER_02
All right.
8
SPEAKER_02
Thanks for calling me.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m sorry.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m excited just to get on the line.
8
SPEAKER_02
No, don t be sorry.
8
SPEAKER_02
Don t be sorry at all.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I m sorry.
8
SPEAKER_00
Go ahead.
8
SPEAKER_02
No.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I just want to say I m a really big fan of you and as well as Danny.
8
SPEAKER_00
I went on the scaring the host war.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I saw you guys or I saw yeah, I saw Danny on in Baltimore and it was amazing Which play in Baltimore, I can t remember
9
SPEAKER_01
My friends went to that show.
9
SPEAKER_00
It was Rampad.
9
SPEAKER_00
Rampad.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, cool.
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
Awesome.
9
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
9
SPEAKER_00
Sorry.
9
SPEAKER_00
I m like having a little moment because I ve been a fan of Danny since XXX, so this is like really big for me.
9
SPEAKER_02
Oh, dope.
9
SPEAKER_02
Fuck yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, so, sorry, I called in just because obviously being a fan of Danny, but also I m a tattoo artist and
9
SPEAKER_00
As an artist, I think all artists kind of struggle with the same thing but just like imposter syndrome and kind of like comparing yourself to other artists and I was wondering how he kind of feels about that and how he goes about that and just dealing with not feeling like you re adequate even when everyone s telling you you re like an artist.
9
SPEAKER_02
Well, I think the biggest deal with that is fucking social media.
9
SPEAKER_02
I swear, like when you get caught up in seeing what everyone else is doing, it always makes you feel like that.
9
SPEAKER_02
And I think for the most part, when you just got to take, you got to take those social media breaks and stop worrying about, you know, like sometimes with me, just basically because I fucking do rap music, so I just wouldn t listen to rap music.
9
SPEAKER_02
And every way I can t even, I don t know what s going on.
9
SPEAKER_02
I don t, I just get myself out of that world.
9
SPEAKER_02
So I m pretty sure you probably follow a lot of tattoo shit.
9
SPEAKER_02
So every time you go on fucking go online, you just seeing tattoo shit everywhere and this and that.
9
SPEAKER_02
So just, you got to take yourself out of that world and then just work on your own shit.
9
SPEAKER_02
I think that s the best thing to do as, as fucking simple as it sounds, but yeah, it s hard.
9
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, no, I really appreciate that.
9
SPEAKER_00
Um,
9
SPEAKER_00
No, I appreciate you saying that and I have heard that advice before, but I guess it s really hard when a lot of your career is based around social media, getting clients and stuff like that.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah, I can see that.
9
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, that s what I m saying.
9
SPEAKER_02
You just can t be paying attention to what everybody else is doing.
9
SPEAKER_02
Just worry about your own shit.
9
SPEAKER_02
That s really all it is.
9
SPEAKER_02
Because I know sometimes like, us with artists struggle with that too, as well.
9
SPEAKER_02
You know, you might see somebody you think you re better than and be like, oh, fuck, this motherfucker is doing good.
9
SPEAKER_02
Why the fuck am I out here?
9
SPEAKER_02
can t even worry about that I think everybody everybody are where they want to be on life in some sense so I think just stop worrying about other motherfuckers and just put the grind on yourself you know and just start just figuring out what you can do to make your shit better instead of looking at other motherfuckers that s really the main thing what s do you have like a specialty kind of thing that you like to tattoo um flowers or yeah I like anime tattoos actually
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I m mostly doing anime, which in like the general DMV area, there s not that many anime tattoo artists, but I do compare myself to like the ones in LA, the ones in New York, you know, like all the really great artists out there.
9
SPEAKER_00
So it is like probably really good to just kind of stop focusing on that and just focus on my own thing.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, struggle I struggle with that too of like comparing myself to other people and I always just notice it s such a time suck Distraction from like, you know, the most of the most important fucking thing is like making stuff.
9
SPEAKER_01
Mm-hmm, you know so anything that s not making stuff is just
9
SPEAKER_01
is just gonna fuck you and then and then it s weird right because you you re like oh i wish i could be where this person is but it s like in order to get where that person is you just got to shut out all the distractions and be making stuff so it s it s like a weird counterproductive thing to do and i get sucked in on it and it s true that like
9
SPEAKER_01
You know, social media just, we all do.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_02
It s a numbers game.
9
SPEAKER_02
Now you seeing, you know, everybody s just, it s a rat race really, you know, but really that s all it is, man.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_02
Just, just focus on your creativity and stop worrying about what everybody else is doing.
9
SPEAKER_02
I think social media has fucked us all with that, you know?
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, absolutely.
9
SPEAKER_01
Hey, what s your favorite anime?
9
SPEAKER_00
Thank you so much.
9
SPEAKER_00
Sorry.
9
SPEAKER_00
What s my favorite anime?
9
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh my gosh.
9
SPEAKER_00
You don t want to get me started.
9
SPEAKER_00
I would say right now it s between Fruits Basket has always been one of my favorites.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s like a romance drama type thing.
9
SPEAKER_00
And then I really am loving Jujutsu Kaisen Season 2 right now.
9
SPEAKER_00
It s like really amazing.
9
SPEAKER_01
Are you an anime guy?
9
SPEAKER_01
I know you said you re into JRPGs.
9
SPEAKER_02
Not really.
9
SPEAKER_02
I can t say I m an anime guy at all.
9
SPEAKER_02
I m more of a hentai guy.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah?
9
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_02
I m just joking.
9
SPEAKER_00
I m just joking.
9
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, me too.
9
SPEAKER_00
Hey, you know, there s some good hentais out there.
9
SPEAKER_01
There is.
9
SPEAKER_01
I ve talked about this on this podcast before that my actually the first porn I was watching was hentai.
9
SPEAKER_01
So you play Smash Bros, right?
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
I would on my Wii channel, I would go to the Internet channel and I would search up Zero Suit Samus naked.
9
SPEAKER_01
And that was that was some of the first stuff that I ever heard of.
9
SPEAKER_02
That boy a freak.
9
SPEAKER_01
Well, thanks for calling, Elizabeth.
9
SPEAKER_01
Let s do a plug.
9
SPEAKER_01
Do you want to plug your tattoo Instagram?
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh my god, really?
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, do a plug.
9
SPEAKER_01
What s your Instagram?
9
SPEAKER_00
My tattoo Instagram is Nessia Tattoo.
9
SPEAKER_00
That s N as in Nancy, E, C as in cat, I, A, tattoo, all one word.
9
SPEAKER_00
Danny or Lyle, honestly, if you ever want a tattoo, just hit me up.
9
SPEAKER_00
I got you guys.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s great.
9
SPEAKER_00
Thanks, man.
9
SPEAKER_00
I would love to tattoo either of you.
9
SPEAKER_00
Well, thank you so much for having with me.
9
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
9
SPEAKER_00
Goodbye.
9
SPEAKER_00
We love you Danny Love you, too.
9
SPEAKER_02
Bye-bye Do you have any tattoos fuck no, why fuck no, I mean, I just see that a lot But no, I m just here you see you said fuck no and you looked at Joey who has a bunch of that But no
9
SPEAKER_02
I just been scared and I think I ve aged out of it.
9
SPEAKER_02
I was probably gonna get my first tattoo at 18 and then I was scheduled to appointment everything I was supposed to show up and then I just end up getting high and that s what made myself paranoid like fuck that.
9
SPEAKER_02
But then it s also like another thing too I have a lot of family members that you know fucked around with needles and shit like that.
9
SPEAKER_02
That just like weirded me out too.
9
SPEAKER_01
But I love tattoos.
9
SPEAKER_01
there s nothing that I m into that I am confident that I would be into forever like that that would still be
9
SPEAKER_01
Like prominent in my life when I get older, you know, like if I got a tattoo of something right now and then years later, I don t think I m going to identify with it anymore.
9
SPEAKER_01
Like if I got like master shake from Aqua teen hunger for some of my ankle, like, am I still going to be into that when I m 70?
9
SPEAKER_02
It is almost like a memory thing, ain t it?
9
SPEAKER_02
Like, you know, you just got, you know, but no, I don t know.
9
SPEAKER_02
I just don t want to put myself through any pain.
9
SPEAKER_01
Joey said, can we get matching tattoos if I pay?
9
SPEAKER_01
I still... I still...
9
SPEAKER_01
Well, tattoos are expensive, aren t they?
9
SPEAKER_01
Definitely.
9
SPEAKER_01
They re like, what, like 200 bucks or something like that?
9
SPEAKER_02
Mm-hmm.
9
SPEAKER_02
But even, like I say, I feel like I aged myself out of that.
9
SPEAKER_02
I have to stop thinking like that, you know?
9
SPEAKER_02
Stop thinking that you re aged out of things?
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
No, some things are good to feel like you re aged out of, for sure.
9
SPEAKER_02
I know, I know, but it s just like I m always using it as an excuse of some type of sense, and I just felt like,
9
SPEAKER_02
If you look at shit like that, then it s like, what s next?
9
SPEAKER_02
Dying?
9
SPEAKER_02
Like, you gotta live, you know?
9
SPEAKER_02
So it was like, fuck, get a tattoo, get that fucking nipple piercing, you know?
9
SPEAKER_01
What other things do you feel like you re aged out of?
9
SPEAKER_02
I mean, when it comes to, like, fashion, I don t think so.
9
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I wouldn t want to be walking around wearing, like, a fucking Spider-Man shirt or some shit, you know?
9
SPEAKER_02
I was... Or, like, wearing, like, Marvel clothes and shit, or, like... Are you into Spider-Man?
9
SPEAKER_02
Nah, I can t say this.
9
SPEAKER_01
I can t say I am but I don t know something about that is weird to me Like when you wearing a motherfuckers be dude, that s what it s like it when I was in middle school and high school my Wardrobe was all like Marvel yeah Target yeah, cuz Target would sell that shit I mean, I guess man
9
SPEAKER_02
know it s old nerds and shit but I don t know for me I just couldn t fucking wear like fucking marble clothes or shit like that.
9
SPEAKER_02
Do you feel too old to collect Funko Pops?
9
SPEAKER_02
No I don t think you re too old to collect anything.
9
SPEAKER_02
What about Spider-Man t-shirts?
9
SPEAKER_02
I mean if you re just gonna collect them and not wear them in public I mean that s pajamas that s probably cool just wearing
10
SPEAKER_01
You re big into fashion, right?
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
Do you ever design?
10
SPEAKER_01
No, but that s um, I will say I have been more into Independent designers then I have been like buying shit from like fashion houses and shit That has been like my thing for like the past few years Just like finding people on Instagram that make dope shit who would now let s say there was who s like honor Who s the most famous fashion?
10
SPEAKER_02
I don t know anything about fashion is the most famous fashion designer.
10
SPEAKER_02
I mean so many I mean
10
SPEAKER_02
What if, okay, if a fashion designer that you highly respected came out with like a really dope Spider-Man t-shirt.
10
SPEAKER_01
Nah, I m not fucking with it.
10
SPEAKER_01
But I will say one of my favorite old, like back in the day brands was like Iceberg History.
10
SPEAKER_01
And they whole shit was about fucking cartoons and shit.
10
SPEAKER_01
Like they had a whole Simpsons collection.
10
SPEAKER_01
My favorite was they did a Milan.
10
SPEAKER_01
They did a Milan collection.
10
SPEAKER_01
But these are like thousand dollar t-shirts, you know?
10
SPEAKER_01
Thousand dollar t-shirts?
10
SPEAKER_02
What s the most amount of money you ve spent on a piece of clothing?
10
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
10
SPEAKER_01
I mean, probably about, oh, 12,000.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s not terrible.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it was just a coat.
10
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
10
SPEAKER_02
Do they, do they hold their value or?
10
SPEAKER_02
I gave it away actually.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh, really?
10
SPEAKER_01
Who d you give it to?
10
SPEAKER_01
One of my homies.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, cool.
10
SPEAKER_02
Oh, you know what I want to, you know, those like, uh, heart, I want, you know, this fucking airbrush shirts of SpongeBob and he s got like a grill.
10
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_02
I want like a designer version of that.
10
SPEAKER_01
Hmm.
10
SPEAKER_01
If you know, I mean, they used to make those like liquor stores and shit.
10
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
You know, you know, like Bugs Bunny would fucking baggy jeans on shit.
10
SPEAKER_01
Those shirts are cool though.
10
SPEAKER_01
I m not gonna lie.
10
SPEAKER_01
That s drip.
10
SPEAKER_01
If you can actually find one from like the early nineties, like thrift, you can probably find some of that shit thrifting though.
10
SPEAKER_02
Do you, um, every day or are you, are you very intentional with what you wear?
10
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_02
Really?
10
SPEAKER_02
That sounds exhausting.
10
SPEAKER_01
I think about it the first thing in the morning type shit.
10
SPEAKER_02
You know the Mark Zuckerberg thing, right?
10
SPEAKER_02
Where he has a closet of like a hundred black t-shirts and he wears the same thing every day just to eliminate that choice.
10
SPEAKER_01
But the thing is, I think about it is, even though I do do that, it s a conscious choice to make it look like I m not doing it.
10
SPEAKER_02
You intentionally make your wardrobe look unintentional.
10
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_02
That sounds exhausting.
10
SPEAKER_01
It can be.
10
SPEAKER_01
It can be.
10
SPEAKER_01
But I did have a great time during this tour.
10
SPEAKER_01
I did a lot of thrifting.
10
SPEAKER_01
So I got a lot of dope shit.
10
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
10
SPEAKER_02
Do you wear a different...
10
SPEAKER_01
actually shit what I was uh did you said something on one of your podcasts that I was listening to recently about how you you haven t worn the same thing the same shirt the same shirt yeah that s true are you ever gonna I think I did I think I wore one shirt twice and that was just does that feel like a bad laundry day no regret that does that feel like a failure to you no it s just I mean it just becomes one of those hard things like fuck I gotta buy some new shirts now
10
SPEAKER_01
So I m always shopping kind of, but that s the one thing that I really wish I can just, you know, I don t know.
10
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I ve been like that ever since a kid, you know, I just, I don t know.
10
SPEAKER_01
I just, it s hard for me not to buy shit.
10
SPEAKER_02
Sometimes I like looking shitty like There s a cool challenge to it of like can I?
10
SPEAKER_02
Walk into this place and be socially confident and feeling myself in cargo shorts and a fucking Zelda t-shirt.
10
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I
10
SPEAKER_02
You know, and there s a challenge to that that s enjoyable.
10
SPEAKER_01
Like my thing is you gotta kind of dress for that situation.
10
SPEAKER_01
Like if I m just going around, I m not going to fucking, you know, like, you know, put on shit that s going to draw a whole bunch of attention to me, even though I used to.
10
SPEAKER_01
But now at this point in my life, I just don t.
10
SPEAKER_01
But it s still going to be some dope shit.
10
SPEAKER_01
You know, like, motherfucker, probably you probably wouldn t know what it is.
10
SPEAKER_01
Or like, you know, motherfuckers wouldn t just look at me and not realize, but it s like, no, everything I own is some dope shit.
10
SPEAKER_01
Like, I don t have nothing that s just fucked up, you know?
10
SPEAKER_02
But the people who know, know.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s something like if you know, know kind of thing.
10
SPEAKER_02
Is there any like, I guess aside from fashion, is there anything hobby wise where you re like, I m willing to like put down some good money on this because it s like, because I want the quality version of it?
10
SPEAKER_01
Um, I don t know if it counts but like, um, because it s a part of my job.
10
SPEAKER_01
I like music.
10
SPEAKER_02
I would say that doesn t count.
10
SPEAKER_02
Anything that you couldn t theoretically write off on your taxes.
10
SPEAKER_01
Like I find myself fucking just spending thousands of dollars on plugins and it s like, what the fuck?
10
SPEAKER_01
I don t even use half of them now, you know?
10
SPEAKER_01
But just you see a new plug-in come out you be like, oh shit, that s just dope.
10
SPEAKER_01
I gotta get that shit.
10
SPEAKER_02
You get it What was the first ever software you were fucking around on?
10
SPEAKER_01
I m first music.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah No, I started off with hardware like my first drum machine was a yeah SP 303 I just now got into like maybe a few years ago was using using a software.
10
SPEAKER_01
I never really fucked with that shit, but um, I
10
SPEAKER_01
My first drum machine was a SP-303.
10
SPEAKER_01
Then eventually I saved up some money and then that s when the MPC-1000 came out.
10
SPEAKER_01
I got that.
10
SPEAKER_01
And then I ve been, yeah, so I ve been making beats for a long time.
10
SPEAKER_01
I just haven t even, I just never rap over my beats.
10
SPEAKER_02
You ever like, you ever use AI to make music?
10
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s dope as fuck.
10
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
When it first was coming around and shit, I was hating on it.
10
SPEAKER_01
But what I realized is that if it does cuts, like, I love all the AI mixing software.
10
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_01
Because, um, you know, you want to hate on it and shit like that, but it saves you so much fucking time, right?
10
SPEAKER_01
And you know, and I mean, I m not saying it s not the end all, it s just getting you halfway.
10
SPEAKER_01
So if you know your shit, you
10
SPEAKER_01
It s able to save you a lot of time where you can be creative and not have to worry about the actual fucking sound of this shit.
10
SPEAKER_01
So I definitely fuck with the Mixing software and shit like that.
10
SPEAKER_01
So I use that shit a lot.
10
SPEAKER_02
That s good.
10
SPEAKER_02
That s good that you re an optimist.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I think what it is I think the people that s hating on the AI shit is that motherfuckers that ain t that dope anyway
10
SPEAKER_01
Not everybody gonna be able to make a trap beat through AI.
10
SPEAKER_01
You know what I m saying?
10
SPEAKER_01
But if you really got some style and some real talent with this shit, then you ain t worried about it.
10
SPEAKER_01
All it is is making your shit doper.
10
SPEAKER_02
Right.
10
SPEAKER_02
That s the thing.
10
SPEAKER_02
It s like, if you re really that worried that AI is gonna take away what you re doing, that means you re not that dope anyway.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so everybody be able to make a trap beat in a minute.
10
SPEAKER_02
even with like trying to come up with ideas and stuff and write things like you can just type a prompt into chat gpt and it ll generate like vague ideas and then you can be creative and like go off of like vague ideas now that s the one thing i did hear about that i m not fucking with that i heard motherfuckers is using a out of right raps
10
SPEAKER_01
But you can write a line and it ll write your next line for you.
10
SPEAKER_01
Like, now that s getting fucked up, you know?
10
SPEAKER_02
You know what?
10
SPEAKER_02
Do you think one day somebody will just pop off really hard in the rap scene and then get exposed that they ve been using AI?
10
SPEAKER_01
I think it s already been happening on the low.
10
SPEAKER_01
Like some of the top rappers is probably using AI already.
10
SPEAKER_02
I bet you could, that d be sick if you could probably create a rapper out of AI.
10
SPEAKER_02
You could like fucking use AI to make a human face.
10
SPEAKER_01
They was trying, wasn t it?
10
SPEAKER_01
They shut that shit down.
10
SPEAKER_02
Who was trying?
10
SPEAKER_01
I think, I mean, yeah, it was one of the AI rapper that got a record deal.
10
SPEAKER_02
No.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it was a whole thing.
10
SPEAKER_01
I ve talked about it.
10
SPEAKER_01
I was hating on it for sure.
10
SPEAKER_02
If I wish, I know that, oh, this guy, what is this guy s name?
10
SPEAKER_02
Fuck him.
10
SPEAKER_00
FN Mecca.
10
SPEAKER_02
I m so bad at, you know all these fucking guys on their podcast, they know how to like pull stuff up.
10
SPEAKER_02
I m a terrible pull stuff up guy.
10
SPEAKER_02
He got canceled.
10
SPEAKER_02
Well, he never even existed, so he ll be fine.
10
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that s good.
10
SPEAKER_02
Someone said Danny as Ice Spice is hilarious.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that was an AR thing.
10
SPEAKER_01
That was funny.
10
SPEAKER_01
What was that?
10
SPEAKER_01
Somebody made a...
10
SPEAKER_01
A.I.
10
SPEAKER_01
of me on Ice Spice s body, my head on Ice Spice s body.
10
SPEAKER_01
And you know me, I took it.
10
SPEAKER_01
It was hilarious to me, so I shared it, but it s just showing.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh, do you want to watch it?
10
SPEAKER_01
Ice Spice Danny Brown.
10
SPEAKER_02
Let s see.
10
SPEAKER_02
I don t know if I can.
10
SPEAKER_02
Oh, is it a video or is it like a video?
10
SPEAKER_02
Oh, fuck.
10
SPEAKER_02
OK.
10
SPEAKER_02
Alright, here, I ll watch it and maybe we can put it in later.
10
SPEAKER_02
Danny Brown shares.
10
SPEAKER_02
This is a fucking article.
10
SPEAKER_02
I know!
10
SPEAKER_00
Isn t that so stupid?
10
SPEAKER_00
It s a slow day for a lot of media outlets, but they gotta use this.
10
SPEAKER_02
I looked it up and I saw that Complex tweeted, Danny Brown tweeted, Ice Spice generated deepfake video.
10
SPEAKER_02
yeah um fuck okay this is so annoying that i google it and instead of you and instead of you at first it s showing me that uh all right i m gonna go to videos
11
SPEAKER_00
I just want to look how many articles and wrote about that well They could be using a time to like put on new artists and shit like that.
11
SPEAKER_01
This is their post That actually sounds really good
11
SPEAKER_01
Brandon, I ll send you this to put in later.
11
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, that s pretty good.
11
SPEAKER_00
I feel like a lot of media outlets, man, they could be spending that time, like, putting on the next Danny Brown instead of fucking posting shit like that, you know?
11
SPEAKER_01
Right, right, right.
11
SPEAKER_01
There s a guy, Dead Boy Guys, who died.
11
SPEAKER_01
OK, you want to talk to the guy who died for two minutes on his own vomit?
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh, this sounds a little dark.
11
SPEAKER_01
Hello?
11
SPEAKER_01
No fucking way.
11
SPEAKER_01
Sounds like he died again.
11
SPEAKER_01
All right.
11
SPEAKER_02
No fucking way.
11
SPEAKER_01
Marco, what s up, man?
11
SPEAKER_02
There s no fucking way I m on call.
11
SPEAKER_02
First of all, I ve seen you guys stream for like so long.
11
SPEAKER_02
I m actually hyped.
11
SPEAKER_01
Thanks, man.
11
SPEAKER_01
What s what s going on?
11
SPEAKER_01
How s life?
11
SPEAKER_03
Sorry for being super excited.
11
SPEAKER_03
By the way, to preface for being super hyped, I have recently BPD and ADHD.
11
SPEAKER_03
So if anyone in the chat is like going to badger me over my story,
11
SPEAKER_03
There s no, you know, compulsivity.
11
SPEAKER_03
It s really hard for me.
11
SPEAKER_03
But it was recently my second time at the bar and I fucking died.
11
SPEAKER_03
It was crazy.
11
SPEAKER_03
It took me, it sounds stupid, but like after the fact, it was unrelated.
11
SPEAKER_03
I had a doctor s appointment, but I m getting too ahead of myself.
11
SPEAKER_03
So I went to a bar in, um, near my downtown area with one of my coworkers.
11
SPEAKER_03
And, um,
11
SPEAKER_03
I just, like, it was like a bunch of awful decisions, mind you.
11
SPEAKER_03
Uh, zero, nothing in my belly, had two medications on me, zero sleep.
11
SPEAKER_03
So it was just like a combination of asking to fuck around and find out.
11
SPEAKER_03
But what s it called?
11
SPEAKER_03
My friend, he wants to like, just show me out because I told him that I ve never been to like a, I have, like, he was like, this was like my second adventure going out with him.
11
SPEAKER_03
And he s kind of like a wild card.
11
SPEAKER_03
Like, he s kind of like a, I don t know, shouldn t be really hanging out with him.
11
SPEAKER_03
But he was loading me with like all sorts of cocktails and shit.
11
SPEAKER_03
And the only thing I remember from the fact was what s it called?
11
SPEAKER_03
Was he wanted to smoke outside?
11
SPEAKER_03
I went outside with him.
11
SPEAKER_03
And what s it called?
11
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that s all I remember.
11
SPEAKER_03
Just woke up at the hospital.
11
SPEAKER_01
Did your friend drug you?
11
SPEAKER_03
No, that was the thing that was so fucking funny.
11
SPEAKER_03
Here s like a funniest part.
11
SPEAKER_03
So when I woke up in the hospital, I didn t remember anything other than him wanting to smoke outside.
11
SPEAKER_03
And so when I woke up, I was just panicked.
11
SPEAKER_03
I was fucking naked.
11
SPEAKER_03
And I saw in the corner beside me that there was a pile of my clothes, but I thought it was all my clothes.
11
SPEAKER_03
And ironically from the fact was like that morning that day, I bought these cool ass nifty Carhartt pants for my job.
11
SPEAKER_03
So I was just worried that they cut out my pants and my shirt, but I saw that my clothes was in the corner, but they only cut up my shirt.
11
SPEAKER_03
But what s it called?
11
SPEAKER_03
I panicked because I was like, oh, like I ve never been to the hospital.
11
SPEAKER_03
I had like a bunch of IVs on my body.
11
SPEAKER_03
And I called my mom and my sibling, took them a little while to get there.
11
SPEAKER_03
And I feel like the nurse tried to like make me look like a fucking addict because I was kind of scared too.
11
SPEAKER_03
She, uh, my mom, uh, is like sitting beside and, uh, uh, NR, like the registered nurse was like, um, Oh, so your son has like multiple drugs in his body.
11
SPEAKER_03
And she starts listing off like the medication.
11
SPEAKER_03
She s like, Oh fuck.
11
SPEAKER_03
I could remember it was meth, which I got scared when she said meth.
11
SPEAKER_03
Cause I m like, what the fuck?
11
SPEAKER_03
But that was my medication for my ADHD.
11
SPEAKER_03
Then it was benzodiazepine, which I stupidly thought that that was for the BPD, but that wasn t the case.
11
SPEAKER_03
And this will, like, coincide with, like, a prior thing.
11
SPEAKER_03
But it was meth, benzodiazepine, another medication, and alcohol and weed.
11
SPEAKER_03
And I already knew that.
11
SPEAKER_03
And I told the doctor, like, all those medications are for, like, you know?
11
SPEAKER_03
And they traced back my medical information, and everything came conclusive.
11
SPEAKER_03
It was only completely unrelated.
11
SPEAKER_03
a week later where I had to do a following, what do you call it?
11
SPEAKER_03
It was from something unrelated, but it was for like psychiatric stuff for my BPD.
11
SPEAKER_03
And it was something like no one wants to see.
11
SPEAKER_03
Like the doctor looked at me like in awe.
11
SPEAKER_03
Like she was like, just like, I don t know.
11
SPEAKER_03
It was a look that like will forever stay with my young 22 year old soul.
11
SPEAKER_03
But she just looked at me with like such a weird bewilderment.
11
SPEAKER_03
And she s like, you shouldn t be here.
11
SPEAKER_03
And she was like reading out the notes
11
SPEAKER_03
and saying like that, like, it was only until like the word of mouth, because the doc, I think, didn t have the soul to tell me.
11
SPEAKER_03
It was only when my doctor was like, you shouldn t be here.
11
SPEAKER_03
Like, you legally died on my way.
11
SPEAKER_03
Like, the benzodiazepine, she was grilling me about that.
11
SPEAKER_03
Yes.
11
SPEAKER_01
Marco.
11
SPEAKER_03
Yes.
11
SPEAKER_01
What did you, what was in this shit that you smoked with your friends?
11
SPEAKER_03
No.
11
SPEAKER_03
Oh, here s the thing.
11
SPEAKER_03
Here s the thing.
11
SPEAKER_03
Here s the thing about like the funniest part.
11
SPEAKER_03
The doctor wasn t going to prescribe me my medication.
11
SPEAKER_03
because she saw the bendodiazepine.
11
SPEAKER_03
And I was like, Oh, wasn t that for my bipolar?
11
SPEAKER_03
And she s like, that s not for bipolar.
11
SPEAKER_03
Like that s for like, and she was like listening off stuff.
11
SPEAKER_03
Like this is like usually what we get for people with like really bad anxiety.
11
SPEAKER_03
So she s like, you either were drugged, like your friend might ve drugged you or you were like date raped or you re doing hardcore drugs.
11
SPEAKER_03
Like you re like abusing.
11
SPEAKER_03
And I was fucking scared.
11
SPEAKER_03
I was like, well, like there s two fears.
11
SPEAKER_03
Like one that she thinks I m like using drugs and like, I m a junkie, but there s nothing wrong.
11
SPEAKER_03
Like, you know,
11
SPEAKER_03
But another part was like, obviously, like, I got dick-brained.
11
SPEAKER_03
And I was like, trying to think very hard.
11
SPEAKER_03
I m like, did anyone spike me?
11
SPEAKER_03
And she even said something even scarier.
11
SPEAKER_03
She s like, it can also be injected.
11
SPEAKER_03
But she s like, I highly doubt someone s not going to go in a bar and, like, inject you with a syringe filled with that shit.
11
SPEAKER_03
But it was only when she was doing, like, the research, the deeper research, and she s like, oh, they gave you the benzodiazepine while you re, like, intubated, like, when you re, like, dying on, like, the ambulance.
11
SPEAKER_03
I was like, oh, that makes sense.
11
SPEAKER_03
So she passed that off.
11
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, it was just a mixture of me not sleeping, my medication and shit, that caused me to happen.
11
SPEAKER_03
Had it not been for that, I would ve been okay.
11
SPEAKER_03
But yeah.
11
SPEAKER_03
Lesson to people, don t mix and drink.
11
SPEAKER_03
Really stupid fucking shit.
11
SPEAKER_03
It only took until the doctor, like, that she looked at me.
11
SPEAKER_03
She s like, you shouldn t be here.
11
SPEAKER_03
Which is something, like, you don t want your fucking primary doctor to tell you.
11
SPEAKER_03
It was a big fucking head trip.
11
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, that is my story of me fucking dying.
11
SPEAKER_03
It was kind of funny because I ve always had this existentialism of what s the afterlife, religion and all that jazz.
11
SPEAKER_03
And having that happen, like it very much like, I don t know, it made me more grateful, like more pep to my step.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I was going to ask you that, because you seem a little too happy to be a motherfucker that just died.
11
SPEAKER_01
I was thinking to say, I was thinking that you seem very like happy and excited to be telling this story, which is good.
11
SPEAKER_03
I m on a call with both of y all.
11
SPEAKER_03
And this is so funny, too, because I was watching a Kill Tony and you were on it.
11
SPEAKER_03
I love your fucking music, Danny Brown.
11
SPEAKER_03
I love everything, your streams and all that shit.
11
SPEAKER_03
I guess I was going, like, I guess, Danny Brown fucking crazy.
11
SPEAKER_03
Because, like, yeah, I shouldn t have been drinking all that stupid shit.
11
SPEAKER_03
Like, even when I tell people that, like, I know, like, I was an idiot.
11
SPEAKER_03
A fucking massive idiot.
11
SPEAKER_03
Regardless if it was, like, my mental problems or just me being me.
11
SPEAKER_03
But, like, yeah, I could have easily fucked around and found that that day.
11
SPEAKER_03
It was fucking crazy.
11
SPEAKER_00
Do you feel like you have a second chance at life now?
11
SPEAKER_00
Like, you know, everything could almost just been over with.
11
SPEAKER_03
No, that s what my, that s what s like, what was crazy.
11
SPEAKER_03
My document says that like, you should very much like, you know, be grateful that you re like, you re here.
11
SPEAKER_03
Like you really shouldn t like, and I was like the scary part that like really made me like, it did dawn on me heavily.
11
SPEAKER_03
Like this weird gloom of like depression afterwards.
11
SPEAKER_03
Cause she s all like, I don t know.
11
SPEAKER_03
It really scared me that the doctor told me that that s when it fully realized.
11
SPEAKER_03
And like my mom even said like,
11
SPEAKER_03
Like, dumbass, did it take you, like, a doctor, like, your second time around to tell you?
11
SPEAKER_03
Because my mom was like... When the incident happened, I just went up, and I was, like, still going with my friends, and my mom was like, you need a rep.
11
SPEAKER_03
Like, it s serious.
11
SPEAKER_03
It was only until, like, my doctor sat me down, looked me dead in the eyes, and was like, yeah, you shouldn t have been, like, here.
11
SPEAKER_03
Like, bile was in your stomach.
11
SPEAKER_03
It wasn t vomit, because at that point, I didn t eat the whole day at work, because I skipped work.
11
SPEAKER_03
My friend s like, you want to ditch and go to the bar?
11
SPEAKER_03
I m like, I m fucking down.
11
SPEAKER_01
But yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
So now that you have this like second chance at life and you re feeling like, what do you, what do you want to do, man?
11
SPEAKER_01
What, what are you, what are you going to do with this new, uh, lust and excitement for life that you have?
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_03
I think I ve always had it, but now even more like it sat with me of like, really that, like, I don t want to say that corny, that s like full sin, but like, you really in life have to have that, like, you know, bravado to do shit.
11
SPEAKER_03
Like if no one, like,
11
SPEAKER_03
That s like, I guess, a good quote I always hear podcasters, people, motivational speakers say.
11
SPEAKER_03
It s really true.
11
SPEAKER_03
Like, you can only do so much for yourself.
11
SPEAKER_03
Like, no one, like your mom ain t gonna be there, your daddy ain t gonna be there, your friends ain t gonna be there.
12
SPEAKER_03
you can only put your best foot forward.
12
SPEAKER_03
I feel like it s taught me now more than ever to be grateful, not really do really impulsive, stupid shit.
12
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, more and more, I guess grateful and just like, just do shit.
12
SPEAKER_03
Like at least it s better to know than to not know at all.
12
SPEAKER_02
Like just try shit, do shit.
12
SPEAKER_03
Like it s okay to be anxious with anything in life.
12
SPEAKER_03
Like a new job, speaking to a group full of thousands of fucking people or a crowd, like it s normal.
12
SPEAKER_03
Like no one ever does that.
12
SPEAKER_03
I feel like to have, I guess a subtle sense of anxiety is normal, but like to an extent, you know, that s really hard to control.
12
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, just that as well as, um, it helped me that situation too, a little bit with my job that I have currently as well as my prior job.
12
SPEAKER_03
Cause I worked at a, I don t want to fully like, it was a, what do you, what do you, what do you, what do you do now?
12
SPEAKER_03
I want to say, but like,
12
SPEAKER_03
I m not checking the stream right now or anything.
12
SPEAKER_03
I don t give a fuck what people say.
12
SPEAKER_03
But it s kind of, I guess, um, it s very Pacific Northwest Washington.
12
SPEAKER_03
I ll say that.
12
SPEAKER_03
It s very mechanical, I guess.
12
SPEAKER_03
No, actually, no, I, uh, I did a class and they did a cool OSHA thing.
12
SPEAKER_03
And this is like, I guess other culture I could talk about.
12
SPEAKER_03
Uh, uh, I did a class for high school, which is like a college thing.
12
SPEAKER_03
And one of the classes I did was aerospace.
12
SPEAKER_03
And they did like an OSHA thing and they basically were talking about like incidents in general for all jobs.
12
SPEAKER_03
And here in Pacific Northwest, there s a lot of like blue collared lumberjack jobs.
12
SPEAKER_03
It s just like this fucked up video of a lumberjack and like his fingers missing.
12
SPEAKER_03
Like some incident happened.
12
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_03
Like, I don t know.
12
SPEAKER_03
That s another, I guess, with like the incident that happened made me way, way, I was already way more grateful in life because I watch pretty graphic content that like makes me humble to like I just drive safe.
12
SPEAKER_03
like
12
SPEAKER_01
TNT and press break and I witnessed like multiple people getting their fingers like blown out that was really like traumatic for me I get crazy job crazy fucked up internet videos is one of my Favorite topics does well because it does do that it does do that for you, right?
12
SPEAKER_01
Because you see all these uh, no accidents and lumberjacks getting their fingers cut off and it makes you feel like well, all right life is It s actually pretty good if you re not People in these videos what s so crazy that like all those like I guess crazy shock videos
12
SPEAKER_03
it s funny whether wherever it comes from like there s like it s been going on since the 90s like all the shock pages but it s so interesting it s in the comments of people what they say and some people like there s um usually like polls of like oh why do you guys watch this like there s always like that like you know like just a comment and people usually say that and i can heavily understand that like it could very much help certain people as well as like deteriorate your mindset like it s not for everyone it s not some shit you should seek out but like when you watch that type of shit it s like damn it really makes you like
12
SPEAKER_03
from my CNC and press brake machine, it made me very, very safe.
12
SPEAKER_03
I guess that was the reason why I was so safe on that job and continue on with this job that I have currently.
12
SPEAKER_01
Danny, you ever watch stuff like that?
12
SPEAKER_01
I know that on your mom s house, they watch a lot of those kinds of videos.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, especially in the early stages of the internet, like the whole rotten.com and all that kind of shit.
12
SPEAKER_00
But not too much now, you know.
12
SPEAKER_00
Nah, I m not trying to see no shit like that.
12
SPEAKER_00
I used to be into like, you know, the ISIS beheading videos and all that kind of shit.
12
SPEAKER_00
I think now I do every now and then I watch them.
12
SPEAKER_01
Some fucking narco shit in Mexico and they torture motherfuckers, but that s not something that I seek out It s so I don t know why I managed to get into every fucking podcast.
12
SPEAKER_01
I managed to get into a conversation Well shit
12
SPEAKER_01
Danny, do you have any thoughts on anything discussed so far?
12
SPEAKER_03
I would say, man... I m just so happy right now that I got in a call with both of y all.
12
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I would just say, bro, you re lucky.
12
SPEAKER_00
You re really lucky, man.
12
SPEAKER_00
Like, at 22 years old, that s still young, man.
12
SPEAKER_00
You re still a kid, pretty much, and you got so much more life to live.
12
SPEAKER_00
And like you said, just some impulsive decision like that can fucking just end it all.
12
SPEAKER_00
You gotta think about your mom and your family.
12
SPEAKER_00
Shit like that and you know as me as a person needs to drink a lot and all type of shit and get myself in all Types of trouble that could have ended it all it s like it s not worth it at the end of the day So I would just not that I need to hear from you should really feel like this man You should really feel blessed and to be able to see another day because it s not promised You know and just for you to go through something like that obviously mean You got a lot more life to live and you just put out here for a reason, you know So I would just say man, that s just yeah
12
SPEAKER_00
Take it a lot more serious, because it seems like you had a lot of fun dying to me.
12
SPEAKER_02
No, I couldn t.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
Well, it was like your Barker, you re living life a mile of a fucking minute, man.
12
SPEAKER_01
I can I can tell, which is a fun thing sometimes.
12
SPEAKER_03
No, I wouldn t.
12
SPEAKER_03
I would never think that s funny.
12
SPEAKER_03
I never had like a moment of like drinking in my teenage years.
12
SPEAKER_03
Like I know I realized like I guess in American society or just like people like drinking.
12
SPEAKER_03
I m way, way, way, way more of a smoker, so I don t know.
12
SPEAKER_03
It was very stupid decisions that day, obviously.
12
SPEAKER_03
And heavily, heavily on what Danny said, like, real shit.
12
SPEAKER_03
Like, my life easily could have been cut short over some stupid trivial shit.
12
SPEAKER_03
That goes for, I guess, like, I can tell that to anyone.
12
SPEAKER_03
That goes for everything.
12
SPEAKER_03
Like, I guess even with, like, I don t know, mental issues or, like, anger issues.
12
SPEAKER_03
Like, you could easily lose your whole life over something really trivial and stupid like an argument or anything like that.
12
SPEAKER_01
Emotional.
12
SPEAKER_01
That s what you did in the heat of the moment.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
Marco, you got an infectious energy, Marco.
12
SPEAKER_01
I m happy for you.
12
SPEAKER_01
I m happy that you re not dead so you can go live a beautiful life of doing exciting, fun things.
12
SPEAKER_02
True, true.
12
SPEAKER_02
The Pacific Northwest Washington is pretty lovely.
12
SPEAKER_01
Dude, Marco, is there any other, like, before we move on, is there anything else you want to say or anything like that?
12
SPEAKER_03
Anything I could say?
12
SPEAKER_03
No.
12
SPEAKER_03
That s pretty much all I have to get off my chest.
12
SPEAKER_03
Are there any other details?
12
SPEAKER_03
I don t know.
12
SPEAKER_03
That s pretty much all I have to say about the incident.
12
SPEAKER_03
Oh, yeah, man.
12
SPEAKER_03
I m gonna pray for you, man.
12
SPEAKER_00
God bless you.
12
SPEAKER_03
This is the funniest.
12
SPEAKER_03
This is the funny.
12
SPEAKER_03
I don t know if I should say this or not during like the thing.
12
SPEAKER_03
This is like the thing I kind of mentioned in the chat.
12
SPEAKER_03
But like, this is weird and funny.
12
SPEAKER_03
Cuz okay for both of you guys ever been to the doctor like hospital like emergency emergency shit You re asking us if we ve ever been to the dog like to the hospital like for an emergency.
12
SPEAKER_03
Yeah The catheter that s what they put that in your penis.
12
SPEAKER_03
Did you have a catheter?
12
SPEAKER_03
No, that s the thing I fucking woke up and I was fucking naked
12
SPEAKER_03
And I was like, where the fuck is my clothes?
12
SPEAKER_03
I see in the corner and I thought like my shirt was there cause it was like all black fit.
12
SPEAKER_03
It was these cool black double knee car pants and a black shirt.
12
SPEAKER_03
I didn t really give a fuck that they cut my shirt up.
12
SPEAKER_03
But when I saw like, I was like naked from like everything, but like they had a, this like weird, like it had like a handle, like a bottle.
12
SPEAKER_03
Like you just, I just stuck my wang in there and pissed.
12
SPEAKER_03
But like, it was only after the fact that like when I went home,
12
SPEAKER_03
This sounds so fucking disgusting and TMI, but like blood came out and I fucking panicked for like five seconds.
12
SPEAKER_03
I was about to like Google and put myself in like a, oh shit, I got fucking fall cancer or some shit.
12
SPEAKER_03
But no, I realized that they fucking like just shoved that shit in me while I was in the car and then like removed it out.
12
SPEAKER_03
And what I didn t know is that they re supposed to give you like numbing cream, I guess.
12
SPEAKER_03
And he didn t give me none of that shit.
12
SPEAKER_03
So I had like this weird, uncomfortable fucking pain for like a week after that.
12
SPEAKER_03
So I very much taught my lesson not to drink like a fucking idiot.
12
SPEAKER_03
Never get in the fucking hospital.
12
SPEAKER_03
That was really uncomfortable.
12
SPEAKER_01
I hope that the, I hope the graphic image of your bloody penis inspires many of the people listening to make better choices in their lives.
12
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_03
Drink fucking safely and responsibly and yeah.
12
SPEAKER_03
Have fucking friends that are like, you know what was worse?
12
SPEAKER_03
I was like five minutes passed out and it took him that fucking long to realize that I wasn t around there.
12
SPEAKER_03
Until he felt like my unconscious fucking body just like limp like family guy position.
12
SPEAKER_01
Well, have a good night Marco and I wish you and your penis a long safe recovery.
12
SPEAKER_01
I mean a short safe recovery.
12
SPEAKER_02
Thank you Jack.
12
SPEAKER_02
Keep on fucking doing what you re doing.
12
SPEAKER_02
Thanks man.
12
SPEAKER_02
Bye.
12
SPEAKER_00
That s fucking scary man.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
He sounds like he s doing all right with it.
12
SPEAKER_00
He does.
12
SPEAKER_01
He sounded, he sounded, he sounded psyched.
12
SPEAKER_00
I m not worried about it.
12
SPEAKER_00
He got a new leash on life or something, you know, but I think when you that age, you don t really understand how serious something like that could be.
12
SPEAKER_00
Maybe, you know, cause me, I ve been getting fucked up as long as he s been living and I never been through a scare like that.
12
SPEAKER_00
Really?
12
SPEAKER_01
No.
12
SPEAKER_01
You haven t had a time where you were like, we re like, Oh fuck.
12
SPEAKER_01
I almost died.
12
SPEAKER_00
I mean I probably was I just didn t know it I was just you know I m pretty sure I ve been laying in a bed a few times like oh no this might be the end but but never
13
SPEAKER_00
like having to go to the hospital or getting something like that I ve never been through anything like that so but if I did I think that would be enough of a scare for me to you know be like fuck this shit you know I ain t doing that but I guess I felt like I was getting close to something like that happening it was a few you know close calls or where you just be like man I don t know how I woke up today type shit like being blacked out drunk is like the worst shit ever man to be honest
13
SPEAKER_01
I feel like but yeah, I feel like Marco he s got he s got a Positive energy.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, everyone we ve talked to but maybe if you died you would feel Are you still here?
13
SPEAKER_00
You probably would be that excited about living life again, you know, it s almost like when you go skydiving or some shit Yeah, oh shit.
13
SPEAKER_00
I m happy, you know, so maybe that s what it is, too, you know, I
13
SPEAKER_01
Isn t that cool?
13
SPEAKER_01
I always think about you can always that s something excess you don t have to you don t have to almost die to access that like every day if you really want to you can Operate from that perspective of oh, it s just it s cool to be alive and enjoy Yeah, I think that s that s a big deal for a lot of people man.
13
SPEAKER_00
We take this shit for granted You know and I realize it s just a blessing just to fucking wake up.
13
SPEAKER_00
You re not fucking promised tomorrow, man So just us being here man.
13
SPEAKER_00
That s just good enough
13
SPEAKER_01
I think every I everyone we talked to today except for the Roblox girl no no I m not no even though to the Roblox girl
13
SPEAKER_01
Everyone we ve talked to today, I m not worried about.
13
SPEAKER_01
Everyone seemed like they re doing all right.
13
SPEAKER_00
I had a positive energy to them.
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_00
You know?
13
SPEAKER_00
So yeah, that s for the most part.
13
SPEAKER_00
I mean, the guy dying, though, that was a little dark for me.
13
SPEAKER_01
On paper, it s dark, but he seems like it s one of the best things that s ever happened to him.
13
SPEAKER_00
I feel better about it.
13
SPEAKER_00
Maybe that s just his Adderall.
13
SPEAKER_00
You know, his ADHD medication got him going crazy like that.
13
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, when you on medications and shit like that, man, you can t drink.
13
SPEAKER_00
Like, he has to realize that.
13
SPEAKER_00
Like, that s just out of the question, man.
13
SPEAKER_00
Like, drinking and medications is like, you know, doing fucking prescriptions and shit.
13
SPEAKER_00
That s like the worst shit ever, you know?
13
SPEAKER_00
That s almost worse than fucking getting street drugs and some shit, which is crazy.
13
SPEAKER_00
Fucking alcohol and fucking pharmaceuticals, man, took a lot of motherfuckers out, man.
13
SPEAKER_00
For real.
13
SPEAKER_00
That s what I m worried about, you know?
13
SPEAKER_00
Like where he just didn t take it that serious and he like, fuck it, man.
13
SPEAKER_00
That shit was kind of dope.
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
13
SPEAKER_00
He cared more about them Carhartt double knees than he cared about dying.
13
SPEAKER_01
Are you into any of the like skydiving extreme sports?
13
SPEAKER_00
I would like to go skydiving, but I m not seeking it out.
13
SPEAKER_01
Try to figure out how to do it, but if it ever came across my shit in life and it s like all right fuck it I m down see no you see that whoever said that in the shadows is He might get addicted to the for real of almost like that adrenaline rush like you know, yeah, I
13
SPEAKER_00
But I don t know man.
13
SPEAKER_00
Hopefully man, like you said the catheter and dick thing man, and I don t know Like I say, he s still young.
13
SPEAKER_00
So maybe he s not taking it as serious as someone my age would but nah, man, like Fucking passing out drunk and all that shit is fucked up man.
13
SPEAKER_00
That was the one thing I was really worried about man It s like something like that happening to me, man.
13
SPEAKER_00
I
13
SPEAKER_00
And especially now we re like all this fucking fentanyl and all this fucked up shit Like you can just one night of having fun can just turn dark, you know, so Did you hit did you have you know a share of nights where you woke up like like to the point where you like?
13
SPEAKER_01
You don t remember all the time.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah where I ll be like man people telling me shit that I did and I m like, oh
13
SPEAKER_00
fuck you know it s just it s fucked up man it is it s really when you when you on that where you know I guess you know when you re young and you know something like that happened every blue moon but when it s like fucking every other day like you need help bro you need to have an intervention someone needs to sit you down
13
SPEAKER_00
Really and so I was just I mean, I guess you know It takes you know, you have to go through certain shit to get to certain shit So I guess if I d never been through anything like that, I probably wouldn t have went and got help so I mean I m happy for everything that I ve been through to be able to go get help because I was a type of motherfucker that talk shit about Going to get treatment and rehab really really what was your what was your opinion on it?
13
SPEAKER_00
You want to quit doing something just quit?
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I guess a problem you could but I
13
SPEAKER_00
It ain t that easy for a lot of people man.
13
SPEAKER_00
Like a lot of people don t even know Like why they getting fucked up, you know, it could start off as being fun And but you know it man is just using it to fucking mash your emotions And then did you have did you have to go through like several hypotheses as to why?
13
SPEAKER_01
You were getting fucked up before you found the the the true one.
13
SPEAKER_01
I
13
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I kind of knew in some sense, you know, and I never was a drinker like that.
13
SPEAKER_00
My drinking actually started from touring.
13
SPEAKER_00
Like I would drink, you know, I was more of a fuck with weed or, you know, other shit, but drinking for me, it started off as just me being on tour and, you know, having a drink before I go on stage and maybe having another drink to power down after I get off stage.
13
SPEAKER_00
Then before I know it, you know, after,
13
SPEAKER_00
years of doing that, then I m finding myself drinking at home.
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_00
I get to the point where I m just drinking every day.
13
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
13
SPEAKER_01
It s when it s like when you have a thing where like you have some like clear boundaries with it and then you kind of start to encroach on the boundaries a little bit and then all of a sudden you re out of control.
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, like you don t, I didn t know I was a fucking alcoholic.
13
SPEAKER_00
Until just, you know, you just come to the realization, like, you know, you had to talk with yourself.
13
SPEAKER_01
Are you, are you off of weed now?
13
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I didn t have any intentions on stopping to smoke weed.
13
SPEAKER_00
When I went to treatment, it was just to get off alcohol.
13
SPEAKER_00
But I learned so much about myself during that process and just everything.
13
SPEAKER_00
And I told myself I was going like, I m going to stop smoking.
13
SPEAKER_00
But then I got home, you know, started doing therapy and shit and just,
13
SPEAKER_00
You know, it could be a gateway for me.
13
SPEAKER_00
I m not saying for everybody, you know, but it could, you know, it does alter your thinking in some sense.
13
SPEAKER_00
And I can totally see myself having a great time, too much fun, smoking weed, get high, maybe at some cool party or something.
13
SPEAKER_00
Somebody offer me a drink and in my fucking high mind be like, it s not that bad.
13
SPEAKER_00
I ve been clean.
13
SPEAKER_00
I m not going to drink tomorrow and go drinking before I know it, I m back on the fucking Ferris wheel.
13
SPEAKER_01
Right, right, right, right.
13
SPEAKER_01
It s hard because, um, and I ve talked about this on here before, but, uh, like there s so many models of stoners that are like success.
13
SPEAKER_01
Like when Seth Rogen gets on and he s like, yeah, I m a multimillion dollar, uh, you know, I do everything I do is, is while I m stoned and I see that and I m like, oh fuck, I wish I could do that.
13
SPEAKER_01
I wish I could be one of those.
13
SPEAKER_01
Like in, in high school, there were, there were these kids who would get super stoned and then do their homework.
13
SPEAKER_00
I could I was wished I could be that kind of product have that productive balance, but We like I still miss it I probably think about smoking every day I just make a conscious decision not to and I find out that I mean, it s not like fucking rocket science I m way more productive without it
13
SPEAKER_00
when I used to sit around like when I first got out of rehab and shit it was I couldn t sleep for shit like it was I was sleeping good in there but when I got home it was like like what did I used to fucking do with all this time now yeah it s like I m bored and I ve realized that I was just using weed for anything like I m nothing to do smoke weed and smoke you know so even like playing video games it took a long time for me to even start back enjoying video games because I was so used to doing it while smoking weed you know
13
SPEAKER_01
Do you have like a, like do the whole sponsor thing?
13
SPEAKER_00
I did in the beginning, but then after a while, it s just, I started to feel like, just that whole shit felt a little cultish to me, like going to meetings and shit.
13
SPEAKER_00
So I know a lot of people are like, oh, you know, you gotta, but I don t know, man.
13
SPEAKER_00
Everybody s kind of different, but nah, for me, for the most part, I did a couple like,
13
SPEAKER_00
Online shit, but the thing that resonated with me the most was like doing like the Dharma shit Which is like going like meditation classes and shit.
13
SPEAKER_00
I like that the most and like smart recovery But for the most part, I mean when I went on tour a lot of that shit fell off like I haven t been in therapy None of that shit since I ve been there.
13
SPEAKER_01
So when you re on a tour like that and you re traveling every day, it s hard to keep a routine It s like almost impossible
13
SPEAKER_00
but i m not overconfident in it any day i know i can fuck up so the best thing for me to do is just you know as dumb as it sounds cliche sounds just take one day at a time man and i just you know keep myself busy are you uh a religious guy at all i know that
13
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I have been.
13
SPEAKER_00
I mean, being there, that was like one of the one things that kind of made me feel good and shit, like was going to the church and they had like a spiritual advisor and I ll go see the spiritual advisor.
13
SPEAKER_00
And every time I would do that shit, I would just feel good for some reason.
13
SPEAKER_00
Like no matter how, you know, I know I m at the fucking bottom to be in fucking rehab and just feel like a fucking failure.
13
SPEAKER_00
But every time I would like go to the church or like go see the spiritual advisor and should always left feeling good and shit.
13
SPEAKER_00
So, yeah, it definitely did give me like a spiritual awakening kind of thing.
14
SPEAKER_00
When you were you were you raised religious at all?
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I just go to church every fucking Sunday.
14
SPEAKER_00
I hated that shit though.
14
SPEAKER_01
Mm-hmm There s almost a weird like that when you re an adult if you when you re because as a kid it sucks because you re getting dragged But when you re an adult if you make the decision to go it can almost be a little bit Better.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I mean, I live right across the street from a church and I was like, oh I m gonna start going to church and shit, but I still I deal with it on my own terms, you know, yeah, I
14
SPEAKER_01
I went to Overeaters Anonymous once.
14
SPEAKER_01
I haven t been back since.
14
SPEAKER_01
I should go.
14
SPEAKER_01
It was cool.
14
SPEAKER_01
People would talk about... God is... I don t know if you ve been to the AA meetings, but God is like...
14
SPEAKER_01
It s it s it s in the background like when people talk they ll talk about like the higher power Yeah, and I remember like I would people would would tell their stories and they would mention a higher power and like I wasn t I just subbed in my own interpretation of what that meant which wasn t necessarily always like, you know a god like a dude, but you know could just be the higher power of
14
SPEAKER_01
I don t know, man.
14
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I know what you mean.
14
SPEAKER_01
You can sub in your own interpretation.
14
SPEAKER_00
That s really what I was saying.
14
SPEAKER_00
That s the whole fave thing.
14
SPEAKER_00
Just believing in something.
14
SPEAKER_00
It could be a gecko.
14
SPEAKER_00
Or just believing in something.
14
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, man, that, that, that helped me a lot, to be honest.
14
SPEAKER_00
I mean, when I was in jail, that s what fucking helped me a lot.
14
SPEAKER_00
Believing in something that shit was going to be better when I got out and having some kind of faith.
14
SPEAKER_00
Once you lose faith and you don t care about shit, that s when, you know, that s when that s probably why I was using so many fucking drugs and drinking so much.
14
SPEAKER_00
Cause I didn t, you know, just didn t care no more, man.
14
SPEAKER_01
What do you, what, what gives you faith now?
14
SPEAKER_01
Um,
14
SPEAKER_00
helping others just being able to share my story with everybody else and letting them know man that you know no matter what you re going through man somebody like me you know being an example for them now you know I went through that shit you know I m saying just showing them that you can still make it out that shit don t give up so yeah that s my whole journey now I just want to help now man whether it s through my music or just meeting people and talking to them you know
14
SPEAKER_00
You can change somebody s life with one conversation type shit, you know?
14
SPEAKER_00
So just being in that position to be able to, you know, to have that voice, you know?
14
SPEAKER_00
And just to talk to people, man.
14
SPEAKER_00
So yeah, I feel like I got my new leash on life with that.
14
SPEAKER_01
And it makes you feel good to do that.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
14
SPEAKER_00
It keeps me on a straight and narrow, you know?
14
SPEAKER_01
One of the things I like about doing this show is like, I feel like it s a fun- like I get out of my own- because every day I m like wrestling in my own overthinking shit.
14
SPEAKER_01
You were talking earlier about just like overthinking my own fucking life and all of my own problems and shit.
14
SPEAKER_01
And it s fun to get out of that and like talk to somebody else about whatever s going on with them.
14
SPEAKER_01
You know, it gives you perspective on your own life.
14
SPEAKER_01
You know?
14
SPEAKER_00
yeah definitely and you know just being able to have that voice like I said and like you know sometimes you know like I say we just normal motherfuckers just like everybody else too but you never know that one person that reached out to you and said something to you how much you know like people calling in just them being able to come in it fucking makes their day fucking changes shit you know so you helping motherfuckers too at the end of the day I hope so man I hope so
14
SPEAKER_00
This show is based on this shit sometimes.
14
SPEAKER_01
Do you want to do one final one before we go?
14
SPEAKER_00
Okay, cool.
14
SPEAKER_01
Let me ask first, chat, do you have any questions or stuff for Danny that you want to talk about?
14
SPEAKER_01
Can Danny confirm if he was or was not wearing trip pants?
14
SPEAKER_01
What does that mean?
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, no, they weren t actually trip, they were actually
14
SPEAKER_00
Designer out of Houston, Texas.
14
SPEAKER_00
He made those and they do look like trips, but they re not trips.
14
SPEAKER_00
Let s see.
14
SPEAKER_00
Do you remember playing Middlelands Festival?
14
SPEAKER_00
Middlelands?
14
SPEAKER_00
No.
14
SPEAKER_00
I probably was blacked out drunk.
14
SPEAKER_00
Where is Middlelands Festival?
14
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
14
SPEAKER_00
I don t remember.
14
SPEAKER_00
No.
14
SPEAKER_01
Danny, how was getting put into GTA V?
14
SPEAKER_01
You were in GTA V?
14
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
14
SPEAKER_01
That s sick.
14
SPEAKER_00
It was great, man.
14
SPEAKER_00
I love all the guys at Rockstar.
14
SPEAKER_00
They always reach out to me to do stuff.
14
SPEAKER_00
Still had a relationship with them.
14
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, man, it was great.
14
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
14
SPEAKER_00
It s one of those things where I can t believe I did that shit.
14
SPEAKER_00
And it makes it hard for me to play the fucking game.
14
SPEAKER_00
I never even finish.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, because you re afraid you re afraid of hearing your own voice.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I m the first fucking song you hear.
14
SPEAKER_00
And then they I did my own downloadable content.
14
SPEAKER_00
I had my own shit.
14
SPEAKER_00
So it s just hard for me to now I can t it s like I m too close to it.
14
SPEAKER_00
I can t even really enjoy it.
14
SPEAKER_01
Right, right.
14
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
14
SPEAKER_00
But it was a lot of work, though.
14
SPEAKER_00
They actually came to Detroit.
14
SPEAKER_00
Fucking you know we recorded for fucking months doing that shit, man So but it was fun man shots out to the homies that rock star you see the gta6 got leaked
14
SPEAKER_00
I seen something about it, but I don t really know too much.
14
SPEAKER_01
There was like a 16 year old kid who like hacked into Rockstar and he got thrown in jail.
14
SPEAKER_01
But I, I was, I was thinking about it.
14
SPEAKER_01
He s probably like the coolest kid in jail.
14
SPEAKER_01
Like that s gotta be the best thing to be thrown into juvenile hall for is leaking.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but jail fucking sucks.
14
SPEAKER_01
Fuck that shit.
14
SPEAKER_01
Uh, Danny, are you ever going to hop back on final fantasy four, uh, 14?
14
SPEAKER_00
That s the new one, y all.
14
SPEAKER_00
That s the one that just came out.
14
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you talking about online?
14
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
14
SPEAKER_00
Nah.
14
SPEAKER_01
Someone said they played with you when you started Heaven s Ward.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I was super into it, but I kind of got out of it.
14
SPEAKER_00
No, I don t know, man.
14
SPEAKER_00
It s a little clicky.
14
SPEAKER_00
They a little clickish in that motherfucker, man.
14
SPEAKER_00
It s almost like the VR motherfuckers that just sit in the mirror and won t talk to you.
14
SPEAKER_00
Someone wants to know what your very first job was.
14
SPEAKER_00
My very first job was I worked at a sweeten house, which is a buffet I actually allowed on my job application because you re supposed to be 16 to work in Michigan and I was only 14 So I lied on my job application and forged my work permit and I worked there till I was 16 I was a pot washer making 450 an hour.
14
SPEAKER_00
So they knew I was too young He was slave laboring me.
14
SPEAKER_00
Then once I was old enough to get a job.
14
SPEAKER_00
I quit and started selling weed
14
SPEAKER_00
I worked at an old country buffet too.
14
SPEAKER_00
I was just working at buffets and shit as a kid.
14
SPEAKER_00
I worked at a Burger King, but I was really just selling weed to everybody there.
14
SPEAKER_01
Are you a buffet fan personally?
14
SPEAKER_00
Now it s nasty to me because I know what type of shit we used to be doing back there.
14
SPEAKER_00
So I m like, fuck.
14
SPEAKER_00
But no, I can t say.
14
SPEAKER_00
I haven t been to a buffet in over 10 years, man.
14
SPEAKER_01
Um, there was a Chinese buffet near my school called the Hibachi Grill, and all the food was, uh, stale, but I loved it.
14
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I mean, as a kid- and you a teenager, you- you younger, like, you know, buffets and shit, they cool and shit, but once you get like a certain age, I feel like it s- that shit s disgusting, man.
14
SPEAKER_00
Like, now I can t even think about going to a buffet.
14
SPEAKER_01
All right, let me I ll read off a few options you tell me what sounds interesting to you Zach 18 wants to discuss the complicated relationship he has with his mom who stole some money from him we have Joshua 34 feels like he reached a third life crisis we have a
14
SPEAKER_01
Sam 31 one of her exes and one of her friends wants to have a threesome with her She does not know what to do about that Hello hello, what s up, Sam?
14
SPEAKER_01
Oh?
14
SPEAKER_02
Yo, what s going on?
14
SPEAKER_01
How s it going?
14
SPEAKER_02
I m not a girl, by the way, but I m okay with you saying that.
14
SPEAKER_01
Alright, Sam, I see the blue screen in the background is slowly peeling off, so we should make this quick.
14
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
14
SPEAKER_01
No, I m mainly kidding.
14
SPEAKER_01
We ll make it quick.
14
SPEAKER_01
What s up?
14
SPEAKER_01
What s going on, Sam?
14
SPEAKER_01
How s life?
14
SPEAKER_02
Uh, it s alright.
14
SPEAKER_02
It s alright.
14
SPEAKER_02
Um, I guess, yeah, I just had some advice.
14
SPEAKER_02
Or not advice.
14
SPEAKER_02
I didn t have advice.
14
SPEAKER_02
I m asking for advice, I should say.
14
SPEAKER_02
The two ladies involved in this predicament, one of them is an ex and the other one, they were not particularly... How do I even say this?
14
SPEAKER_02
They were like enemies?
14
SPEAKER_02
They were like not close friends at all at a certain point.
14
SPEAKER_02
They really did not like each other.
14
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
14
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, they hated each other.
14
SPEAKER_02
And now they re like, cool again.
14
SPEAKER_02
And in the past few weeks, not all three of us together, but separately, like this idea has just sort of come about.
14
SPEAKER_02
And, uh, it s, I just, I don t, I m not sure if it s a decent, uh, it might be a good idea.
14
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
14
SPEAKER_02
I m just, I just, I m asking for a third opinion or fourth opinion, I guess, technically, I guess if you,
15
SPEAKER_02
Thinking about it, that must mean you can t handle it.
15
SPEAKER_02
So you probably shouldn t do that, man, because a threesome is very hard, man.
15
SPEAKER_02
You think it s hard enough pleasing one woman.
15
SPEAKER_02
Imagine pleasing two.
15
SPEAKER_02
So I would say you probably don t want to put yourself through that type of situation if you don t think you can handle it.
15
SPEAKER_04
Why don t you think, Sam, why don t you think you can handle it, though?
15
SPEAKER_04
Why do you have this lack of confidence in your abilities?
15
SPEAKER_03
I say just do it for the story.
15
SPEAKER_03
Weirdly, that s not, weirdly, the confidence in my ability is not the issue.
15
SPEAKER_03
It s more of like the weird, the potential weirdness for the future.
15
SPEAKER_02
It wouldn t be weird y all just to be doing it all the time.
15
SPEAKER_02
It s going to be more weird if you turn it down.
15
SPEAKER_03
That s, that s fair.
15
SPEAKER_03
That s fair.
15
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
15
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
15
SPEAKER_03
Um,
15
SPEAKER_03
I gotta say, I love your laugh, Danny.
15
SPEAKER_03
Thank you.
15
SPEAKER_03
Every time I hear it, it makes me so happy.
15
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, no, y all make really good points.
15
SPEAKER_03
But it s just, you know, the thing that s being talked about, maybe it s just something that should happen.
15
SPEAKER_03
Because, you know, it s not like, I don t know, maybe if it happens and then it s weird, whatever.
15
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, is this something you ve been wanting to do for a while?
15
SPEAKER_04
That sounds like we hit a nerve of some kind.
15
SPEAKER_03
I don t really know how to answer that, to be quite honest.
15
SPEAKER_04
If you don t know how to answer that, it kind of sounds like the answer is yes.
15
SPEAKER_04
I d say you know what to do, man.
15
SPEAKER_03
It s something I hadn t thought about.
15
SPEAKER_03
You know, it s one of those things, I feel like a lot of people, you know, this is not a situation that comes up in most of their lives.
15
SPEAKER_03
So, as far as, like, the reality of the situation, like, it s only something in the past, like, couple- the past few weeks that s been, like, oh, wow.
15
SPEAKER_03
That could be a thing.
15
SPEAKER_04
I mean, we can t tell you what to do necessarily, but I think when, Danny, when you were like, if you re asking, it sounds like the answer, it sounds like something you re curious and excited about, so I don t know, man.
15
SPEAKER_02
I think you re just trying to brag to us that you got a priest lined up.
15
SPEAKER_02
You re like, y all motherfuckers sitting around with gecko paint on, I got two bitches ready.
15
SPEAKER_03
It is not lined up.
15
SPEAKER_03
That hasn t been clear.
15
SPEAKER_03
It s not lined up.
15
SPEAKER_02
All right.
15
SPEAKER_03
And for that, I apologize.
15
SPEAKER_03
It s not lined up.
15
SPEAKER_03
That s not what this is about.
15
SPEAKER_04
Well, Sam, it worked.
15
SPEAKER_04
I m jealous of you, and I think that your life sounds really cool.
15
SPEAKER_04
And I think that if you don t feel that way, you should start feeling that way.
15
SPEAKER_02
You got bitches.
15
SPEAKER_02
God damn it.
15
SPEAKER_04
Who are you with, by the way?
15
SPEAKER_04
Who s this person giggling in the background?
15
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I m one of the girls.
15
SPEAKER_01
I m Christina.
15
SPEAKER_02
Oh, wait, you already got one of the girls with you?
15
SPEAKER_02
I told you he was stunting on me.
15
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, no, like, we... Yeah, I mean, like, we ve been having sex and maybe, I don t know, thinking about involving Emily.
15
SPEAKER_01
I don t... Like, she offhandedly meant it, it might be okay, but she s like, I don t know, that would be weird because
15
SPEAKER_01
They dated like what I don t know what four years ago.
15
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, like that.
15
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
15
SPEAKER_01
And now I m fucking Sam.
15
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
15
SPEAKER_01
So I don t want to be weird.
15
SPEAKER_01
I don t want her to get like upset that I don t know.
15
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
15
SPEAKER_01
I don t want to like, hurt my friend, girlfriend, you know?
15
SPEAKER_04
But she s but why would it why would it hurt her if she s at if it was her idea?
15
SPEAKER_01
So it wasn t really her.
15
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
15
SPEAKER_03
Actually, I think it was your idea.
15
SPEAKER_01
It was my idea.
15
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
15
SPEAKER_04
I just don t want her to feel like Waiters Look I if I had to put money on like what I think you re going to end up doing after this phone call it sounds like It sounds like you re gonna do it, and I hope you have a good time I hope you have a good time in the moment.
15
SPEAKER_04
I really do I
15
SPEAKER_04
And I don t know, if you want to borrow three gecko costumes and make it even steamier, you let me know.
15
SPEAKER_01
Oh my god.
15
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
15
SPEAKER_01
Fuck it.
15
SPEAKER_01
Let s do it.
15
SPEAKER_04
Danny, any final thoughts?
15
SPEAKER_03
That ll be a second conversation.
15
SPEAKER_02
Nah, I m upset.
15
SPEAKER_02
He s living the life.
15
SPEAKER_03
What?
15
SPEAKER_02
I m just a gecko, hearing about it.
15
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, see now you guys have to do it, because or else it would have just been in vain.
15
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, now I m a jealous gecko.
15
SPEAKER_01
Okay, now we have to do it.
15
SPEAKER_04
Sam, anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?
15
SPEAKER_03
To the people at the computer?
15
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, just be safe, be nice to each other.
15
SPEAKER_03
Danny, huge fan of Triple X, love the stuff you ve been doing with Peggy.
15
SPEAKER_03
Thank you.
15
SPEAKER_03
Yeah man, I ll, you know, I ll let you know how it goes next time.
15
SPEAKER_04
Sounds like you guys got a collaboration of your own to get to.
15
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, one before the other obviously, but thank you for the opportunity.
15
SPEAKER_04
Take care guys.
15
SPEAKER_03
Bye.
15
SPEAKER_02
Bye.
15
SPEAKER_02
Woo!
15
SPEAKER_04
I was actually, I was watching a different pod, I was watching a different podcast with you on it and you were asked this question.
15
SPEAKER_04
You ever had a threesome?
15
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, a lot.
15
SPEAKER_02
I don t know how to fix it.
15
SPEAKER_04
Nice.
15
SPEAKER_04
Sick.
15
SPEAKER_02
I mean, it s not all it s cracked up to be.
15
SPEAKER_04
Yeah?
15
SPEAKER_04
What issues did you run into?
15
SPEAKER_02
I mean, it s just, like I said, it s a lot of hard work.
15
SPEAKER_02
I mean, there s nothing worse than having a trash threesome.
15
SPEAKER_02
Well, you didn t live up to your expectations.
15
SPEAKER_02
At this point in my life, I d rather have just one person.
15
SPEAKER_02
I mean, you know, a lot of that shit was drug-fueled, alcohol-fueled shit, you know what I m saying?
15
SPEAKER_02
But now it s like, I ain t even... Damn, I m a one-woman man now.
15
SPEAKER_04
Nice, man.
15
SPEAKER_02
I make love now.
15
SPEAKER_04
Gotta say I was I was watching a lot of podcasts with you on them like in preparation for this and you know obviously I don t know you very well personally, but you do you seem calmer is that Fair to say
15
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, definitely.
15
SPEAKER_02
I mean, yeah, I just was going through a lot the past few years, you know, and I m just at a spot in my life, like I said, just not living in my head so much and just enjoying the moment.
15
SPEAKER_02
Cool.
15
SPEAKER_02
I think I was putting myself, I was stressing myself out so much that I wasn t even living life.
15
SPEAKER_02
You know so worried about bad shit happening, and I wouldn t even enjoy in a good shit that was in front of me So now I m just real blessed.
15
SPEAKER_04
You know fuck yeah, well, dude.
15
SPEAKER_04
Thanks Thanks so much for doing this and I m very happy for you that you seem like you re in this New era of life that you re very happy about me man.
15
SPEAKER_04
I ve been watching your shit for some years now, so Cool cool cool dude is there anything you want to like you have any plugs or anything coming up?
15
SPEAKER_04
Do you want to tell the people about?
15
SPEAKER_02
Um, yeah, I mean, you know, you can watch my podcast, Danny Brown Show, every Tuesday on YMH, you know, and, um, new album coming very sooner than motherfuckers think.
15
SPEAKER_02
So it s going to be fun.
15
SPEAKER_02
It s going to be fun.
15
SPEAKER_04
And if you haven t already check out what I, for anyone who, who hasn t heard you, like where, where should they start?
15
SPEAKER_04
As far as music?
15
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
15
SPEAKER_02
Um, I mean, I guess, you know, you can just,
15
SPEAKER_02
I don t know, I wouldn t say, I don t know, because every album I would say is kind of like my babies and they re all kind of different from each other.
15
SPEAKER_02
So I don t know, it depends on what the person into and what they re going through life, what s going on in their life at the moment.
15
SPEAKER_02
But I would say, I don t know, the best thing to do is probably start with XXX and work your way up or start with, you know what I m saying, and work your way down.
15
SPEAKER_02
Or just listen to the Peggy shit, I would say that s the most fun is not the trauma dump So the pride of JPEG Mafia album, you know check out scaring the hose Yeah, that s a fun when we have fun making it, you know, beautiful.
15
SPEAKER_04
Hey get bless you Danny.
15
SPEAKER_02
Thank you, man.
15
SPEAKER_02
You too, brother.
15
SPEAKER_02
Oh
15
SPEAKER_00
Phone calls every night.
15
SPEAKER_00
Therapy kick goes to his right.
15
SPEAKER_00
He s teaching you how to live your life.
15
SPEAKER_00
But he s not really an expert.