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Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert.
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I m Dax Randall Shepard.
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I m joined by Monica Lilly Padman.
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Hi there.
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Hello there.
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We have Rebel Wilson on today.
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Extremely funny lady.
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Incredibly talented lady.
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She is an actor a comedian and a producer She just you know, you know her she stood out like a motherfucker and all the pitch-perfects.
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I know You know, I hadn t seen all those when they came out.
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So I m not a big glee or musical theater person
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But now that I have children s who watch TV, I have seen all three of them.
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They re outrageously good.
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And she s tremendous in them.
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She was also in Bridesmaids, The Hustle, Senior Year, How to Be Single.
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And she has a memoir that is out tomorrow called Rebel Rising, where we learn her whole life story.
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And it is an intriguing one.
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It is.
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Lots of turns and twists.
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Yeah, an incredible amount of honesty from Rebel.
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I loved getting to talk to her.
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Me too.
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Please enjoy Rebel Wilson.
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I bought you some Australian cookies.
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Tim Tams!
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My favourite ones.
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You know what s funny?
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They re fresh from Australia.
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We do a show with a guy named David Farrier.
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It s called Flightless Bird.
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He s a Kiwi.
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And similarly, every time he goes home and comes back, he brings Monica and I. Do you have to soundproof this building, or no?
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It still works.
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Lots of noises.
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Yeah, so you don t care.
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Yeah, so it doesn t... We get a lot of complaints.
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You ll hear, like, it ll happen during this.
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There s a guy on a bus going up there.
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Yeah, hi, hi.
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His name is Monica.
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Yeah, hi.
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Oh my God, I remember.
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Hi.
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So nice to meet you.
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Thanks for coming.
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Oh, my pleasure.
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We were in here one time, and the fucking bulldozer bumped into the building.
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We were interviewing somebody.
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Whoa!
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It was like it was going to come down.
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Because what are you doing?
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Exactly!
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Rubble, what are we doing?
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Because I m very into renovations.
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You would be in heaven over here.
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Okay, you want the full lady?
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She just brought these from Australia.
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Yeah, fresh.
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Fresh Tim Tams.
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This is very exciting.
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Why don t you have one?
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The Australian version, not like the shit version you can get in Gilson s that is like made in America.
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What do you think makes it different?
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Because we have different chocolate, different milk.
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Sheep s milk?
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I m opening it.
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Kiwi sheep s milk?
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Wait, Dax, Kiwis are different countries.
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I know, I know, I know.
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But David doesn t always brag about the chocolate in New Zealand.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Australian chocolate is better.
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And I know how much you guys hate being confused, which is why I m kind of doing it intentionally.
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That s like Americans versus Canadians.
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Although, is it though, because when we travel abroad, if someone says, are you from Canada?
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We re pleasantly surprised and flattered.
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Oh, okay.
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Because that means we re kind of polite and kind.
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It s a compliment to be confused as Canadian.
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We like call New Zealanders like sheep fuckers.
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Yes.
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But as a joke, we love New Zealand.
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Sure, we all love.
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It s impossible not to.
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Russell Crowe s New Zealander.
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We claim him as Australian.
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There s a few people like that.
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Did he come early enough that he could make that?
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Yeah, I think for his first, I believe he was in Rocky Horror Picture Show or something.
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Oh, okay.
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Yeah, as a young Russell Crowe in Australia, and so we claimed him.
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Sure, that s fair.
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And then he was in that outrageously good movie, not Romper Stomper, Romper Stomper?
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Yeah.
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Yeah, that was good.
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Scary.
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Classic.
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Scary.
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Literally my apartment was like one street over when I first moved here to America.
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So I don t know why I came to Los Feliz.
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I just knew one Australian girl who I d been in a TV show with and she said I could sleep on her couch for like a hundred bucks a week.
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You picked the right spot.
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You kind of got lucky.
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Yeah.
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It took me 10 years in LA to discover this area.
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Well, it turns out this was like a cool comedy area.
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It is, isn t it?
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It over indexes.
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Yeah, I know.
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But you re up by the Hollywood sign.
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Yeah, now I m in Hollywood Hills and I have a beautiful view.
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I look over, see a Hollywood sign and Universal Studios.
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So you can see the fireworks from the Harry Potter castle.
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It s pretty sick.
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Kristen similarly had a house across the 101 in Studio City that looked over Universal.
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Same thing, every night you could watch the fireworks.
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It s awesome.
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Every night?
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Well, yeah, they have a show.
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Yeah, I think in peak times at 9 p.m.
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It s like Disneyland.
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How exciting.
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I love fireworks.
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I love fireworks a bit too much.
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Like when I went to Florida and then I bought all these and took them on the private plane coming back, which I m not sure whether you re allowed to do.
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Probably not.
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But we hid them in garbage bags and then I set them off
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in West Hollywood and stuff.
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And then people call the cops because they thought they were gunshots.
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And there were these ones, you know the fireworks and then they have little parachute men come down?
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And they re just so fun.
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So I just kept sending them home.
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And people called the cops.
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And then I go, oh, it wasn t me.
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I thought the neighbors were doing fireworks.
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I was just about to call.
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I m glad you re here.
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Thank God.
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You just saved me a phone call.
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Well, I think the main concern here, by the way, I ve done it.
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In fact, on my Instagram, we had a big firework debacle in the backyard on New Year s.
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The big concern, I think, is fire, especially where you live.
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Oh yeah, oh yeah.
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I wouldn t do it in the Hollywood Hills.
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Okay.
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I m only willing to destroy West Hollywood.
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Right, right.
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Okay, but do you get a ton of looky-loo tourists trying to find the sign?
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Are you plagued by that?
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Nah, I m in a hidden little area.
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Tell us your address.
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My address?
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Well, my stalker knows.
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Oh good, oh good.
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The address, if you re listening.
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Do you really have one?
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He lives in Long Beach.
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Yes, and I have a restraining order.
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What s the weirdest thing that this person has done?
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They think that I had a child with them 20 years ago.
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Okay.
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Wasn t even in America at that point.
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And it would have been a virgin birth, I ve read your book.
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Yeah, good point.
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You know, and I said to the police, I go, I would know if I was pregnant and had had his child.
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And he believes I had a child of his called David and that he was once my Lyft driver here in LA and that I confessed everything to him.
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Oh boy.
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Completely believes that I have his son who s now 20 years old and that I ve been hiding the son this whole time.
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So would drop off presents for the son.
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So he s never seen the son.
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He s just aware of the son.
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He believes I hide the son in my house.
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Well, anything to protect a child.
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Yes.
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Are you caught between abject fear and like mild compassion?
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Well, yeah, because the person must really believe it s true.
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Yeah.
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Because he would write like 20 page handwritten letters explaining his love for his son and how he met me at some VIP after party.
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And I wasn t even famous then.
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The police say at least he doesn t have a violent history, which is apparently a good thing.
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Until you do.
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Yeah, I mean, sorry to say that.
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I just want you to stay careful.
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I will say that the legal system worked and he hasn t been around since the restraining order, so that s good.
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Does he live with his parents?
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I don t know.
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You ve never found him in your house with your underwear on her?
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No, he never went inside the house, just on the property.
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I know, it s creepy.
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I m caught between trying to make jokes about it and also very scared for you.
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Have you guys had stalkers?
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Kristen had a half one.
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We ve had some bizarre people from other countries.
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Did she have any Frozen fans?
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They re too tiny.
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She just pushed them out of the way.
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They re all four-year-olds.
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And they are obsessed, but that s what they re supposed to be.
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And they think she s a princess.
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They re very delusional.
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She kind of is, though.
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Yeah, that s true.
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But I did have a woman, I was right at the corner here of Western Hollywood, and there s a little plaza there with the Ralphs, and there s a very inexpensive, very high salt Chinese restaurant there.
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I was in there eating with three friends, a woman walked by a few times, she kept looking at me.
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I don t know what to chalk that up to, as you would know, you never know what s going on.
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Eventually she stormed in the restaurant and she said, it s so obvious he s yours.
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He looks just like you.
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Same thing.
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She was convinced that I had had a child with her.
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And then we come to find out she lived in the halfway house across the street and she had just gotten out of prison.
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Classic.
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Textbook.
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Also, more likely that you did impregnate her.
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She was not unattractive.
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That was the other confusing part.
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Yeah, because you have a stupid stereotype in your mind of a crazy woman who thinks she s had kids with people, and it s unflattering.
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Don t rule anyone out.
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Pretty people can be crazy.
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Brad Pitt could be nuts.
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No, he s so nice.
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He s so nice.
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Yeah, he s great.
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I like to ask this question of everyone who s written a book, who comes, because I do think, not to bore the audience who s already heard the spiel many times, but truthfully, I know personally, writing something in my room is one experience, having a journal is one experience, even publishing it, there s control, but then something can get
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dicey about them talking about it.
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Does it feel that way?
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Yeah.
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I wonder whether you can sense my like embarrassment or nervousness about it, because this was something that I just did by myself in various locations, but I kind of have a bit of like a reading disorder, so I have to write in quiet.
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And so it s literally just this thing I did on and off for two years, completely by myself and all my most personal, intimate things.
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Yeah.
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And then even just giving it to the editor for the first time was like,
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Someone s going to read all this.
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They re going to think I m mental.
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And then now why I m fearful because nobody has read it because it s been embargoed apart from you guys got it.
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I love it.
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It s such a
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shitty copy too.
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It s like you turned in a term paper.
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It s a paper printout from my home.
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And so my family doesn t know what s in it.
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And there s some things that I ve not told anybody ever until the book comes out.
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I know mentally it s going to come out, but it is a bit nerve wracking.
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But then also when I got the opportunity to write it, I was like, well, I may as well just go for it and say everything.
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If you re going to do it.
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I m not going to do it half-heartedly.
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But I had a good friend, and she had written this really powerful piece.
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It was roughly around Me Too moment, and it was vaguely about her mother and how judgmental she had been of the mother, but then recognizing how much older the dad was, and that really the mom was a victim of this.
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And it was so beautifully written.
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And we re really best friends.
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And when we went to talk about it on here, I could sense, oh, she s happy to write it and to have total control of how it comes out and structure, but she doesn t want to talk about it here, which was fine.
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I totally respected that.
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But I think some of that anxiety can be simply that, like you can say it exactly how you d like to say it in the book, and then weirdly coming and then talking about it verbally feels like it s dishonoring your story in some way or exploiting your story.
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Do any of those feelings?
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You guys are my very first interview.
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Oh, OK.
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So we re going to set the tone.
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We ll see.
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We ll see.
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I hope you don t.
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Yeah, I hope I don t.
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I m just more worried.
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My mom, for example, hates if I say anything bad ever about my childhood.
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Sure.
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I ll say like, well, we did have McDonald s three times a week.
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And she goes, no, don t say that.
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You went to Sizzler for all you could eat shrimp.
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I love that.
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Yeah.
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But by the way, it s that mom.
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That s awesome.
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That makes me relate.
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Or people go from high school or whatever.
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Oh, I didn t remember it that way.
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Those kind of things.
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How much did you wrestle with that?
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Cause I m writing something right now too.
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And I m like, I can acknowledge this is my version.
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My brother has a completely different version and his is legit too.
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I don t know what to say about that.
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Well, one thing with my sister, Liberty, I had to check in and go, is this what you remember?
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Cause she s a little bit younger than me.
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And she goes, yeah, I don t think it didn t happen.
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You know, and some people do have slightly different.
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especially things a long time ago.
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Yeah.
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Monica and I were talking yesterday and she was like, what was your favorite teacher?
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And I said, Mrs. Giglio.
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And I was in kindergarten.
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She invited me over for spaghetti.
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And she s like, she did?
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And I m like, yeah, that sounds really weird, doesn t it?
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But I don t know what to say.
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Are you sure you didn t make it up?
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And it s like, no, we re not sure.
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I don t know.
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Well, my mom was a school teacher and then she, back in the day, took the kids swimming on weekends and they sometimes didn t have swimsuits or whatever and would just jump in the harbor.
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And I go, how is that?
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That wouldn t obviously be allowed now.
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Yeah, some of this stuff just genuinely would never fucking happen, which almost makes you go like, well, could it have happened?
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But then you re like, no, this stuff is happening all the time.
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But even then, if it was a male teacher, that would be bad.
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Isn t that interesting?
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If a male teacher invited you over for spaghetti, it d be like, no.
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You re right.
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That s a bummer too.
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It is kind of a bummer.
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It s all a bummer, but look, I have kids and I m not having male babysitters in their teens.
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That s a bummer.
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I m playing a part, but I m not willing to roll the dice.
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Yeah.
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I don t know what to say.
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Yeah.
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But you were from Sydney.
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Yes.
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You were a little baby in Sydney.
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Yeah.
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And your mom and dad were dog groomers, breeders, showers.
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So more, I would say, dog showers then.
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And then we had a family business selling pet products at the dog shows.
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So basically, if you ve seen that movie Best In Show, that was my life.
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When I watched that, that wasn t comedy to me.
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That was like, oh yeah, that s what happens at dog shows.
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Jennifer Coolidge and everyone in that film, Eugene Levy, that was my life.
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Just the Australian version of that.
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But people that were obsessed with their dogs.
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And so we d go in this yellow caravan and we d drive all around the country to different dog shows each weekend and we d sell little dog products.
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And you were selling lollies?
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That was my first business as an entrepreneur.
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I had my own little lolly shop.
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Although the first before that, I would collect up the soda cans from the dog show and recycle them for money for the aluminium cans.
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Was there a deposit there that was refunded?
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That s how it was in Michigan.
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Other places just paid you for the bulk aluminium.
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You d squash them all down with your little foot.
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Put them all in these bags and yet they d weigh them on a big like fish hook and you get paid per weight.
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You know, you might get $5 if it was a really heavy, heavy bag for the aluminium.
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The lolly shop grew to such a size that the organizers were like, no, no, you re going to have to rent space.
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Yeah.
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I mean, the adults, like the guy with like the toasted sandwich man and the pancake man, they were just like, this girl s taking our profits.
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They basically banned me from having the lolly shop at the dog show because I wasn t paying rent like the adults were.
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You didn t need Ren, your lollies were so small.
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You were trading on your young cuteness, and then you got busted, let s own it.
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They were like, real cute, you re making more than us.
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They hated it, yeah.
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You taught me a really great word.
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I identify as white trash.
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People don t like when I say that, but I love it.
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I m total white trash.
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But bogan?
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Okay.
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Yeah.
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I thought you were going to say bogan.
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Yeah.
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So bogan s an Australian word.
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It essentially means white trash.
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The lower socioeconomic group in Australia.
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The working class.
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Yeah.
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But who are also proud of being bogans as well?
1
SPEAKER_02
Like hillbilly.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Say they re trailer trash and they love it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Similar kind of thing.
1
SPEAKER_00
Proud of our upbringings in
1
SPEAKER_00
the rough part of Sydney, which isn t rough compared to other rough parts in the world.
1
SPEAKER_00
Put an asterisk next to rough.
1
SPEAKER_00
Australia s not exactly that rough, but this was the rougher areas.
1
SPEAKER_01
And you have a sister and a brother.
1
SPEAKER_00
Two sisters and a brother.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m the eldest of four.
1
SPEAKER_01
And what kind of girl were you?
1
SPEAKER_00
Growing up, I was really shy, bordering on some kind of social disorder.
1
SPEAKER_00
Wouldn t really talk to anybody.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then I think I was around 14, I read this article that said, whatever you are at 15 is basically your personality for life.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, shit.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, sitting in the school library going,
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I don t think I want to be this girl that s like too shy to even answer a question in class.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t want to be that for the rest of my life.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like I hated being that.
1
SPEAKER_00
And the good thing about being shy is you can observe everybody.
1
SPEAKER_00
So you get real good at watching people and stuff.
1
SPEAKER_00
Not in a creepy way.
1
SPEAKER_02
No, but yeah, reading people.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then I thought, well, I don t want to be shy and have no friends.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so I went on this mission.
1
SPEAKER_00
I found this gym bag in my dad s car that had all these cassette tapes.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, what is this?
1
SPEAKER_00
And they were all motivational self-help tapes.
1
SPEAKER_01
I know you have a complicated relationship with dad, as did I. But it s hard not to think that s sweet at this point.
1
SPEAKER_00
I know, because he was obviously trying to improve his life.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I just took the cassettes, never said anything.
1
SPEAKER_00
He never said anything either.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I just listened to them all.
1
SPEAKER_00
And one was like, how to win friends and influence people, that classic Dale.
1
SPEAKER_01
Dale Carnegie.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then I started trying to implement the things.
1
SPEAKER_01
What are the tips?
1
SPEAKER_01
Like you say people s names a lot and shit.
1
SPEAKER_00
The one I remember in that one, Dax, was to try to talk to five new people every day.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I went to an all-girls school, so I just on the bus would try to speak to somebody different.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was horrible the first few weeks.
1
SPEAKER_00
Embarrassing and just weird.
1
SPEAKER_00
But then you realize,
1
SPEAKER_00
There s other people out there who also don t have connection or don t have friends and really that might have been the highlight of their day that someone came up to them and spoke to them because they might have been feeling as lonely and isolated as I was.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s the hiccup in our thinking is we feel ostracized and alone but we assume everyone else is having a great time and we re wrong.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then I kind of changed my status from being the least popular girl at the school to being like the most popular.
1
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
1
SPEAKER_01
And how did debate file into that?
1
SPEAKER_00
As part of that, I had to push myself to do like public speaking and debating because that to me was like my nightmare.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I just pushed myself.
1
SPEAKER_00
And the first times I did it, I d just go all red in the face.
1
SPEAKER_00
It must have been disastrous.
1
SPEAKER_00
Luckily, no one has any recordings of it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Although I do have a recording of one 12th grade debate that I did and everyone was just like laughing hysterically.
1
SPEAKER_00
Because I would throw in jokes.
1
SPEAKER_00
I d get so confident about it.
1
SPEAKER_00
But at first, it would just be horrible.
1
SPEAKER_00
It would be like walking on nails.
1
SPEAKER_00
It would be an awful, awful experience.
1
SPEAKER_00
But I just kept pushing myself to do it.
1
SPEAKER_02
But God, most adults can t do that.
1
SPEAKER_02
Push themselves to do something so uncomfortable.
1
SPEAKER_02
I m amazed that you as a kid could do that.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was like, I don t want to be like a loser nobody who s so shy and can t express herself.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then part of that time before I kind of
1
SPEAKER_00
transition to being a more expressive person.
1
SPEAKER_00
My mom dragged me to these acting classes at the local community center.
1
SPEAKER_01
Why do you suppose she did that?
1
SPEAKER_01
Just to help you get out of your shell?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but she did it in a real tough love kind of way.
1
SPEAKER_00
She didn t tell me I was going.
1
SPEAKER_00
I go, why are we stopping here?
1
SPEAKER_00
She s like, get out of the car.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I wouldn t, because then I saw like our community center.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m like, what is this?
1
SPEAKER_00
And then she literally physically dragged me with all her might and I m holding onto the car door for dear life going, I m not going in, I m not going in.
1
SPEAKER_00
And she shoves me in and says, I ll pick you up at five and leaves me there.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then I m in tears.
1
SPEAKER_01
Good for her, by the way.
1
SPEAKER_01
This is terrible parenting nowadays, but good for her.
1
SPEAKER_00
I know, but if she hadn t done it, I maybe would have been a recluse.
1
SPEAKER_00
You d be picking your butt at Sizzler right now.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, maybe.
1
SPEAKER_00
I wouldn t have had the life that I had.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I do thank her, obviously.
1
SPEAKER_00
I have my career now.
1
SPEAKER_01
How quickly did it get its hooks in you?
1
SPEAKER_01
How quickly did you realize, oh, I do like this?
1
SPEAKER_00
It definitely took six months.
1
SPEAKER_00
Writing the book, I was so traumatized by having to talk in front of people, and especially other kids who, some of them were extroverted, that I spoke in this weird kind of American accent.
1
SPEAKER_01
You made a character.
1
SPEAKER_00
For like six months.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, because I couldn t.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was so hard to just... Be you.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and I was really, really...
2
SPEAKER_00
traumatizing and then when you see those movies split and the people talk in a different voice, it was always like that because it was so traumatic.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was like, hi there.
2
SPEAKER_00
I had put on a character because I was that painfully shy.
2
SPEAKER_01
There has to be something innate about this impulse because I ve talked about this on here.
2
SPEAKER_01
My daughter s one time in particular, I took her on a publicity tour and she was young.
2
SPEAKER_01
She was probably too young to be on this tour with me, but I was like, this will be a great experience.
2
SPEAKER_01
She was three or four.
2
SPEAKER_01
When we get into situations where she was getting way too much attention because of me,
2
SPEAKER_01
she d start talking in a baby voice.
2
SPEAKER_01
I thought it reflected poorly on me as a parent.
2
SPEAKER_01
And for like the first day I was telling her like, talk in your real voice.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then all of a sudden I was like, oh no, that s my embarrassment.
2
SPEAKER_01
She s fine.
2
SPEAKER_01
This is how she s dealing with it.
2
SPEAKER_01
It feels innate.
2
SPEAKER_01
And my other daughter does it too.
2
SPEAKER_00
Cause I don t know why I did it.
2
SPEAKER_00
That was just my only way of coping with the traumatic situation of being thrown in a classroom of kids and having to play theater sports.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s like a lizard changing the color of their skin.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s very interesting.
2
SPEAKER_01
Although in your case, you stuck out more.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then they re like, oh, how long have you been in Australia?
2
SPEAKER_00
And I had to quickly create a backstory.
2
SPEAKER_00
But it took about six months.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then I kind of started enjoying it and enjoying doing the little scenes in the acting class and getting slowly more confident.
2
SPEAKER_00
And the great thing about the creative arts is that there s all these studies that shows it really helps young people s self-esteem and self-confidence.
2
SPEAKER_00
Even if you re not going to be an actor or anything, it can really help you be able to express yourself.
2
SPEAKER_00
And in my case, I was just somebody, if you looked at me, you just wouldn t be able to
2
SPEAKER_00
feel anything or see anything because I would never show anything.
2
SPEAKER_01
You were trying to be invisible.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, basically.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t feel like that got chased down so much in the book with this desire to be invisible.
2
SPEAKER_00
So that was when I was unpopular.
2
SPEAKER_00
The worst thing is to be unpopular and very visible because then you get the one that get bullied.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I was the unpopular one.
2
SPEAKER_00
Nobody knew.
2
SPEAKER_00
I knew the girl that had all the dandruff and she was getting bullied.
2
SPEAKER_00
Or the girl, she had this sanitary pad at the swimming carnival and jumped in the
2
SPEAKER_00
swimming pool and a sanitary pad floated up to the surface.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then everyone just made fun of her.
2
SPEAKER_00
And so I just knew I didn t want to be bullied because what s worse than being unpopular is being unpopular and bullied.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I would just make sure nobody knew me.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s so fucking brutal.
2
SPEAKER_01
A lot of women who ve been sexually abused when they were young, they aim to make themselves invisible.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s a product of that trauma.
2
SPEAKER_01
So sad that you d want to go through life disappearing.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it was more not to be bullied because I was just conscious of not sticking out.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then I d always come home and then my mum s like, so, you know, you ve got any friends?
2
SPEAKER_01
Would you lie to her?
2
SPEAKER_00
I just kind of avoid it.
2
SPEAKER_00
I could tell her concern and I think part of why...
2
SPEAKER_00
She wanted to push me into those acting classes is because if I got a bit more confident, I could have friends and invite them to birthday parties.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s the other thing for getting confident about being on a stage.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s the same as joining a sports team.
2
SPEAKER_01
You are inextricably dependent on one another for the thing to work.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re forced to value one another and see one another.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it does plop you in a community.
2
SPEAKER_00
And one of the strategies of becoming popular that I definitely did was join all the sports teams.
2
SPEAKER_00
You did?
2
SPEAKER_00
Field hockey we had at my school.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s big, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s big in those kind of girls schools in Australia.
2
SPEAKER_00
And we d play cricket, very British.
2
SPEAKER_00
Softball, tennis, which we d have teams, even though tennis is more individual.
2
SPEAKER_00
Basketball.
2
SPEAKER_01
And were you good at these things?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I was good at tennis.
2
SPEAKER_00
My uncle was very good at tennis and is a tennis coach.
2
SPEAKER_01
And you got tennis lessons.
2
SPEAKER_01
This is one of the things you thanked your father for.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I thought maybe I could become a professional tennis player and I would carry these bricks in my school bags to try to build up my shoulders.
2
SPEAKER_00
Sure.
2
SPEAKER_00
Which I think maybe is why I have big shoulders today.
2
SPEAKER_00
But I was never going to be tall enough.
2
SPEAKER_00
And my mum said, you know, you re never going to make it as a tennis player.
2
SPEAKER_00
Go back to your acting class.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Is it fair to say that you had developed a really rich fantasy life because you were invisible?
2
SPEAKER_00
Because I didn t really have friends in elementary school, I d talk to my little toys and stuff and they d be my friends.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I must have had this really great active imagination.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then later in life, because I had no real love life, I think I had a real imagination in my mind with that stuff as well.
2
SPEAKER_00
I can relate.
2
SPEAKER_01
The irony, no, we re going to get to the best chapter.
2
SPEAKER_01
Monica is going to be like so dialed in.
2
SPEAKER_01
The irony that you have and had played so many characters that were overtly sexual.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Drawing from what other than this fantastical imagination?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Movies, all the things.
2
SPEAKER_00
You just pick up on it in pop culture.
2
SPEAKER_01
But you didn t just pick up on it, you kind of mastered it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Anyone from the outside would think you were the thing you were playing so often.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I know.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then a lot of people thought I wasn t a great actress, I was just being myself.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then I was like, if only they knew.
2
SPEAKER_00
That I d like kissed more people on screen than I had in real life.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes, I read that and I was like, whoa.
2
SPEAKER_00
Did you feel
2
SPEAKER_00
ever?
2
SPEAKER_00
Or were you just like, no, I m acting.
2
SPEAKER_00
To me it s acting, but then it would make me laugh.
2
SPEAKER_00
Often also people think I m a partier because of some of the characters I played.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m like the opposite.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then I go, well, that s because of my good acting.
2
SPEAKER_00
Right.
2
SPEAKER_01
James Franco had to admit on Stern that he doesn t smoke pot.
2
SPEAKER_01
People are like, what are you talking about?
2
SPEAKER_01
It s like you and Snoop and Seth Rogen.
2
SPEAKER_01
This can t be true.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s crazy.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I just took it as a compliment to my acting.
2
SPEAKER_01
So you go to this all girls school and it s a very, very good school and it s important to your dad, I guess to sum him up briefly would be he s very, very controlling.
2
SPEAKER_01
He s got some rage issues.
2
SPEAKER_00
He was never diagnosed psychologically what he had, but yeah, definitely inability to express emotions properly.
2
SPEAKER_01
Without screaming and threatening.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
But he had gone to the brother s school of this school and was very proud of that.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
And that school was called King s.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s very fancy.
2
SPEAKER_00
They wear all military uniforms and have all these amazing facilities, including a multimillion dollar theater, which I got the benefit of performing in.
2
SPEAKER_00
His wish for his children was that we all got to go to these good private schools and that he would, no matter what, find out a way to pay for them.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because his own personal dream that had been cut short and or altered by the death of his father, the thing he was trying to heal in himself, was that, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
He felt like he should have maintained this trajectory and didn t.
2
SPEAKER_00
So his father, my grandfather, it s a bit of a family mystery, was apparently murdered when he was in his final year of high school.
2
SPEAKER_00
And so that changed his trajectory of his life and might have caused his issues.
2
SPEAKER_00
And so, yeah, I think he never got to fulfill what he wanted to do.
2
SPEAKER_01
So it was imperative that you did.
2
SPEAKER_00
because he had to work so hard, like, had to sell a lot of dog products to, like, afford this school.
2
SPEAKER_00
At one point, my dad was working nights in the gas station and doing all sorts of things to get the money, because not just the school fees, but the uniforms and all the textbooks and everything was really expensive.
2
SPEAKER_00
But then he put a lot of pressure on me, especially being the oldest, that I then had to deliver.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then weirdly, I didn t work this out till later, but he did love comedy.
2
SPEAKER_01
You and I aren t as similar, but what year did your dad die?
2
SPEAKER_00
10 years ago now.
2
2014?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
So my dad died in 2012.
2
SPEAKER_01
He s the villain in my story all growing up.
2
SPEAKER_01
My mother s a saint.
2
SPEAKER_01
And as he s been dead for years, I ve been thawing and recognizing like, oh yeah, he had actually a ton of really sweet qualities.
2
SPEAKER_01
And yeah, I was unwilling to grant him any ownership over my success.
2
SPEAKER_00
I felt like that too because I was almost estranged from my father for a long time since mum kicked him out of the house when I was 16 and then really didn t have much at all apart from this obligatory birthdays and Christmas where you go and be like, oh yeah, hi.
2
SPEAKER_01
Hi, I resent you.
2
SPEAKER_01
Let s celebrate this holiday together.
2
SPEAKER_00
Here s a present and I ll take your present.
2
SPEAKER_00
Right.
2
SPEAKER_00
And we ll pretend to talk for a few minutes and it ll be real awkward.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then he s the villain who I hated.
2
SPEAKER_00
Part of writing this book, you do realize that people are complicated and you see other sides of them and they re good things that I could remember.
2
SPEAKER_00
Some of my younger sisters and brother don t remember some of the good things.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
But there were some good things and part of it was that my dad was hell-bent that I get an amazing education.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then that set me up to have whatever career I wanted to.
2
SPEAKER_01
I almost think you re destined to have issues with the one you re most like.
2
SPEAKER_01
So when I really account for his life objectively, I m like, oh, the greatest gift I have in life is that I have a lot of friendships and I m so spoiled in that way.
2
SPEAKER_01
And my dad had a fucking kabillion friends.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, eh, okay, I guess that s true.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like that s clearly him.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then boy, you just start looking more and more, not in your case, but for me, look more and more every day in the mirror and you re like, oh Jesus, this is fucking.
2
SPEAKER_00
Sometimes some of the dark things from my dad I put into jokes.
2
SPEAKER_00
You re like, oh, well that s really where I get it from.
2
SPEAKER_00
Which makes me a bit edgier sometimes.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know whether you know any performers that they ve had like this amazing sweet childhood and then sometimes their work comes out a bit vanilla because they haven t had any issues.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes, I have a very specific memory of seeing someone s one-man show.
2
SPEAKER_01
They tell this beautiful story of being so supported by their father.
2
SPEAKER_01
This is why I m not that into your comedy.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s just that you ve had a really nice childhood and I can t relate.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Now, do you think the school being all girls was a blessing?
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, 100%.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because I think, I don t know if you could have mounted this personality reversal if we add boys to the mix.
2
SPEAKER_00
It would have been hard.
2
SPEAKER_00
It would have been even harder.
2
SPEAKER_00
And my cousins who went to mixed schools, they ended up getting pregnant at like 15, 16.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then that made their life go in a different trajectory.
2
SPEAKER_00
Weirdly, being in an all-girls school, we were very protective.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, we had bars on the window to not go over to the boys  school next door, which we were only allowed to go to the boys  school if you were in the theatre productions.
3
SPEAKER_01
And that s where all the carnage happened.
3
SPEAKER_00
Did you have crush on boys in fantasies?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and I did have a little boyfriend who was the stage manager, you know, of the play.
3
SPEAKER_01
in the tech crew, but I think we only kissed once in this very short-lived thing when I went on a family holiday to Disneyland, which was my parents  last-ditch attempt to see whether their relationship would work.
3
SPEAKER_01
During that time, this boy cheated on me by kissing another girl, and then I said, that s it, boys.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s enough for me.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m focusing on my studies.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so you take a gap year out of high school.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so I did the most unusual thing after high school.
3
SPEAKER_01
I did really well in high school and got into the top law school.
3
SPEAKER_00
You were number two in food science?
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, food technology.
3
SPEAKER_00
I read that and I m like, what does that mean?
3
SPEAKER_00
That was a bit of a scam.
3
SPEAKER_01
That counts as a science, like chemistry and biology.
3
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s food technology.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s basically home economics, but a bit more scientific.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I literally did that, just scan the system and get a hundred.
3
SPEAKER_01
Smart.
3
SPEAKER_01
It worked.
3
SPEAKER_00
You were number two in the state.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so I did really well.
3
SPEAKER_01
Could have gone into any law or medicine.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then weirdly, I was this witness in a major crime squad investigation.
3
SPEAKER_01
And from that, this guy had said to me, you should apply for this Rotary Youth Ambassador program.
3
SPEAKER_01
You get to be a youth ambassador for Australia and you get sent to a country.
3
SPEAKER_01
You ve got to live there and spread goodwill.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s like missionary work without the church.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, because there was a bit of charity.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I got selected for the program and got sent to South Africa.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then some of the charitable things was we build a rape crisis center.
3
SPEAKER_01
But mainly it s a bit like a cultural exchange and you give speeches about Australia when you go.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then you also get to tour all around Southern Africa.
3
SPEAKER_00
And you were not given malaria pills or were you given them and didn t take them?
3
SPEAKER_00
Because Monica and I just went to India and all we did is fret over whether we re going to take these things or not.
3
SPEAKER_01
So some people go, if you take them, if you re prone to some kind of mental illness or whatever, you might make you crazy.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, oh no.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then I was in and out of malarial zones all the time.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I think at first I did take some tablets that I had.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then by this point in the year, I was like, oh, I m in and out of malarial zones every weekend.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I just wasn t taking them.
3
SPEAKER_01
But it turns out the strain that I got was resistant.
3
SPEAKER_01
Wait, you got it?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, what a great reaction.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, mine and Cara s.
3
SPEAKER_00
That was a pop-up.
3
SPEAKER_01
This is what happens.
3
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because another girl got it with me and she had been taking the malarial tablets, so... You feel vindicated.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, even if I had taken the tablets.
3
SPEAKER_00
One more rubber, one dinner, both are pregnant, so you feel good about your decision.
3
SPEAKER_01
I got malaria from rural Mozambique and I know the day I got it,
3
SPEAKER_00
I know the mosquitoes exactly.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because it was too late and then we had to just set up camp under the truck and they go, oh, don t go wandering off because there s landmines in this area.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I remember exactly, I slept on the road under the truck and the one side of my face was all mosquito bites when I woke up because we were too tired to set up the tents.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then two weeks later, I was in this aerobics class in South Africa.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s how long it takes.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it takes about two weeks.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, you, because you stopped taking them.
3
SPEAKER_01
He stopped.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I didn t even know any lore about going crazy.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
And it s really bad.
3
SPEAKER_00
Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert.
3
SPEAKER_00
So explain the onset of it.
3
SPEAKER_00
How long do you think, like, I m tired?
3
SPEAKER_01
So I was in this aerobic class doing the grapevine, and suddenly I m like, I don t feel so good.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then cut a few hours later, nighttime, and I m just moaning, lying in bed, and it kind of felt like I was in my body, but I felt like I was a meter away.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s not like a cold or flu.
3
SPEAKER_01
You can t describe, like, it s not anything like that.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s unique unto itself.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then I was just going, ah, ah, ah.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then eventually the host mother took me to the hospital the next morning and then I remember them giving me some kind of morphine type drug to make it all stop and they started treating me and I lost my hearing because the drugs were so powerful that they needed to pump me with.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was a real bad strain.
3
SPEAKER_01
Some strains I guess are not as bad and then some can kill you.
3
SPEAKER_00
Did they call mom and say like come now?
3
SPEAKER_01
They did only a few days later because this was before really cell phones existed but I didn t have one.
3
SPEAKER_00
Everyone s playing this game, like, do we scare the parent?
3
SPEAKER_00
They re all the way in Australia.
3
SPEAKER_00
Let s see how this goes for a few more hours.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, everyone s probably trying to make some cost-benefit analysis.
3
SPEAKER_01
And they eventually call my mum, and she was at a point in her life where she didn t have the money to fly over.
3
SPEAKER_01
So even if she d wanted to and she had three kids with her at home, she couldn t have come over.
3
SPEAKER_01
Fucking Rotary Club.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, dilemma.
3
SPEAKER_01
Goddamn Rotary.
3
SPEAKER_00
They re out there saying they re good.
3
SPEAKER_01
How long?
3
SPEAKER_01
I was in hospital for two weeks.
3
SPEAKER_01
But during that time, I have this hallucination.
3
SPEAKER_01
And the hallucination was that I was an actress and that I win an Academy Award.
3
SPEAKER_01
What?
3
SPEAKER_01
And it was so real.
3
SPEAKER_01
I d probably seen the Oscars maybe a couple times on TV, but it was so real.
3
SPEAKER_01
I come out of the hospital and I say to everyone, I m going to be an actress now and I m going to be really good.
3
SPEAKER_01
And everyone s like,
3
SPEAKER_00
Let s send her back into the hospital.
3
SPEAKER_01
We think the malaria has demented you and you are actually insane now.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m like, no, no, no.
3
SPEAKER_01
I saw her.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was wearing a dress and I went up there and I won.
3
SPEAKER_01
I gave an acceptance rap speech.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was very into rap back in the day.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then everyone just thought I was a lunatic.
3
SPEAKER_01
They thought, no, no, no, you re going to be a lawyer.
3
SPEAKER_01
Go and do that.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s the path for you.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I go, no, but I saw it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I literally lived it in a hallucination.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I m telling you, I saw it happen.
3
SPEAKER_01
I had to stop telling people basically because they thought I was mentally insane.
3
SPEAKER_01
But when I came back to Australia, I did law school during the day and then acting at night.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then eventually it did happen a few years later and got on TV.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you have this mix of like you were working a bunch in Australia, but then also you moved to New York in 2003.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because I got a scholarship from Nicole Kidman to help my acting by doing extra training somewhere in the world.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I chose New York to come to Second City Comedy School because we don t have any comedy schools in Australia.
3
SPEAKER_01
Even though Second City is bigger in Chicago, I wanted to go to New York because I love theater as well.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I wanted to go to Broadway.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I kind of combined the two.
3
SPEAKER_00
and eat it too.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
I wanted to see Broadway shows, really.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I was like, thanks Nicole for paying for it.
3
SPEAKER_01
So she just has like a scholarship fund?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, she had at the time.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was the 16th person to win it.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I got to go to New York, but only for three months.
3
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s pretty great.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
And it was over winter.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was so anxious to go.
3
SPEAKER_00
Did you love Second City?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was looking back at my diaries over that time and Jack McBrayer was my teacher in one of the classes.
3
SPEAKER_00
Sweet Jack McBrayer.
3
SPEAKER_01
Who I then ended up seeing on 30 Rock.
3
SPEAKER_01
So it was cool because I learned a lot of stuff.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then when I got back, I got cast in a sketch comedy show in Australia called The Wedge.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I wrote and performed my own characters, which is not as good as like a Saturday Night Live or anything, limited budgets in Australia.
3
SPEAKER_01
But it s kind of a similar type of thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
And that time at Second City, that international experience really helped.
3
SPEAKER_00
Also, you were on pizza.
3
SPEAKER_01
My first breakout role was this show called Fat Pizza, which is also a movie, which is a bit confusing.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was in both.
3
SPEAKER_01
And basically I played this Greek gang girl, and I dyed my hair black.
3
SPEAKER_01
I did nunchucks and kind of crazy shit, bashed people up, and real popular in Australia, but very stereotypical, a lot of race humor, a lot of things that wouldn t be appropriate now.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, one of the guys, he has an argument with someone, he goes and gets a chainsaw and like chops them up.
3
SPEAKER_01
A lot of grotesque stuff, but it used to be so popular.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then I was the first female cast member to become a regular, and people thought I was this great girl for years, and that they just plucked me out of a gang.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh wow.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and that I was this girl.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then if they d known I d been to like a private Christian all-girls school.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and then had the Nicole Kidman scholarship.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, they didn t know that.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s Moyer.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I know.
3
SPEAKER_00
Wintered in New York.
3
SPEAKER_01
They were literally like, oh, what train station did you find this girl at?
3
SPEAKER_01
They thought I was the real deal.
3
SPEAKER_00
I imagine I would have gotten comfortable there.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re working, you re supporting yourself.
3
SPEAKER_00
Why ever leave that?
3
SPEAKER_00
Do you know Josh Lawson by chance?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_01
So Josh is one of the people that gave me advice.
3
SPEAKER_01
Get the fuck out.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
We love Josh.
3
SPEAKER_01
I d only known two people who had gone to America and booked a job and Josh was one of them.
3
SPEAKER_01
So we went out to lunch in Melbourne and I was like, oh, I m thinking of going over and trying my luck.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I d had my own comedy show, which I d written and produced as well.
3
SPEAKER_01
And so it was getting a bit of attention and I got a meeting with WME, the agency.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I was like, okay, I m going to go over.
3
SPEAKER_01
What s your advice, Josh?
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
So culturally Australians have this thing where you don t
3
SPEAKER_01
big up yourself.
3
SPEAKER_01
You re kind of like, oh yeah, I m not that good.
3
SPEAKER_01
So he goes, in America, you have to do the opposite.
3
SPEAKER_01
You have to go and you say, I am the biggest comedy star ever.
3
SPEAKER_01
I am the female Jonah Hill.
3
SPEAKER_01
I am going to crush it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I am worth millions and millions of dollars.
3
SPEAKER_01
The complete opposite of any Australian.
3
SPEAKER_00
This sounds like risky advice.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, I think that s pretty risky.
3
SPEAKER_01
He stared me in my eyes and said,
3
SPEAKER_01
you have to sell yourself.
3
SPEAKER_01
Do not do the Australian thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
Matt Lucas, who s my friend who s British, said one time on a red carpet, someone goes, congratulations on the movie.
3
SPEAKER_01
And he did the classic British thing and goes, oh, well, I m not in it that much.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then the interviewer just turns around and moves to the next person.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because culturally, we re a little bit different to Americans in that way.
3
SPEAKER_01
And he
4
SPEAKER_01
goes, nah, if you come to America, you want a job, just fucking sell yourself hard.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I came over, came here one block away.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then luckily WME accepted me and they set me up on that little water bottle tour where you go all around.
4
SPEAKER_00
Do generals.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, do all your general meetings at all the studios.
4
SPEAKER_00
So let s talk about that for half a second, because this is probably so ill suited for most people and artists in particular.
4
SPEAKER_00
But for me, my dad was a car salesman.
4
SPEAKER_00
I probably would have sold cars had I not left Michigan.
4
SPEAKER_00
This is my favorite part of the job, a blind date with an executive.
4
SPEAKER_00
Did you hate them or love them?
4
SPEAKER_01
It is like dating.
4
SPEAKER_01
And you go there and you ve literally got about 30 minutes to like excite them, entertain them, intrigue them, make them potentially want to hire you and see you again.
4
SPEAKER_01
But luckily, I had pretty interesting stories in my life.
4
SPEAKER_00
And you re already interesting because you re novel and you re Australian.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I was a big girl.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t know, about 220 pounds.
4
SPEAKER_01
There really wasn t many at that time.
4
SPEAKER_01
And that, I think, is the reason WME signed me.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then I came and then I was different because... Well, hold on.
4
SPEAKER_00
Let s take one second for that.
4
SPEAKER_00
Because it actually is an enormous part of the story as you end up at a fertility clinic.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
So right out of the gates, you do connect the fact that I am
4
SPEAKER_00
Occupying a niche that is going to be beneficial.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_01
I forget whether it was Josh or the other person I asked for advice.
4
SPEAKER_01
They said, don t come to America and say you can do everything because then you ll get nothing.
4
SPEAKER_01
You ve got to specifically pigeonhole yourself.
4
SPEAKER_01
And that pigeonhole was the female Jonah Hill.
4
SPEAKER_01
Because Jonah Hill had been in some of Judd Apatow s movies.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it was really popular.
4
SPEAKER_01
So they go, you ve got to sell yourself in a very small pigeonhole.
4
SPEAKER_01
And that s what I chose.
4
SPEAKER_01
Even though I d done some Shakespeare and things in Australia.
4
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no.
4
SPEAKER_01
Forget about that.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Just do the one avenue.
4
SPEAKER_01
It did work though.
4
SPEAKER_01
It was successful.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, clearly.
4
SPEAKER_00
We re chatting and you own a nice house.
4
SPEAKER_02
I think a nice car.
4
SPEAKER_00
In Australia, your work on The Wedge and Pizza, were you also being the female Jonah Hill there?
4
SPEAKER_01
No, I was doing mainly comedies at that point on television.
4
SPEAKER_01
The stage, I d done all sorts of things.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I d been on like 13 different TV shows, culminating in where I had my own show in Australia.
4
SPEAKER_01
It was different because I d written it and also produced it as well and done the legal contracts.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know, people are like, how d she do her own DVD distribution deal?
4
SPEAKER_01
I m like, well, yeah, law degree as well.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then I think they found that combination interesting as well.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then Bridesmaids happens pretty quick.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
One of those general meetings was with Alison Jones, casting director.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, she s lovely.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then she remembered me and then brought me in for Bridesmaids.
4
SPEAKER_01
And they were always going to give it to Melissa McCarthy because she s excellent.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I think they were friends with her from Groundlings.
4
SPEAKER_01
But they needed another choice to bring into the studio to go, oh, you know, look how great Melissa is.
4
SPEAKER_00
Right, yeah, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
This is the best of the rest.
4
SPEAKER_01
This girl from Australia.
4
SPEAKER_01
But Melissa s going to get the job.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was around for that.
4
SPEAKER_00
Kristen was having a very uphill battle getting her in the movie to be funny.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, they wanted her, though.
4
SPEAKER_00
The writers, for sure.
4
SPEAKER_01
And that was right.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
She was incredible.
4
SPEAKER_01
But then maybe the studio wasn t sure.
4
SPEAKER_01
Then I come in and it s Kristen Wiig sitting on a stool behind the camera, Judd Avatar, Paul Feig and Alison.
4
SPEAKER_01
And they re like, okay, you re at a wedding and you re just going to improvise with Kristen.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, holy shit.
4
SPEAKER_01
She was like the big star from Saturday Night Live.
4
SPEAKER_01
When I was in New York in 2003, I d lined up to try to go to Saturday Night Live in the cold when you stand there for midnight and try to get standby tickets.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I didn t get in, you know, I was like 50 people.
4
SPEAKER_00
Monica, your guys  story is very similar.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Monica did a lot of lining up.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
I like went in the middle of the night and stood there.
4
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, so I was like, oh, Kristen Wiig, I don t go, but now s my chance.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then all that experience from Australia doing improv, doing standup comedy, doing a lot of acting.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was like, I just going to go for it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Out of all those auditions, I was like, well, this movie is going to be great.
4
SPEAKER_01
I knew it must have gone well because it went for an hour.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then by one point we re improvising doing cocaine through our belly buttons, me and Kristen.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t know how it got to that, but we re just like going crazy.
4
SPEAKER_01
And she was the warmest, nicest performer to act with.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then I left going, maybe I have a chance at this.
4
SPEAKER_01
Because that role, that was good.
4
SPEAKER_01
That was such a good role.
4
SPEAKER_01
You could tell from the script and she ended up getting nominated, I think, for that.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then I get a call two days later going, I ve got the role.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I m going crazy.
4
SPEAKER_01
And they go, no, it s not the role you went for.
4
SPEAKER_01
They re going to add you in to the movie and you re going to play Matt Lucas s sister who had already been cast as her roommate.
4
SPEAKER_01
You look a bit like him.
4
SPEAKER_01
They wrote you a part.
4
SPEAKER_00
So for a second I thought I had got the role.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so then I was obviously a bit disappointed because, oh, what is this new other role?
4
SPEAKER_01
And then they go, you ve just been cast in a Jada Patel-Paul Feig movie.
4
SPEAKER_01
Aren t you happy?
4
SPEAKER_01
And I went, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
You had this expectation.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that I d got the role I auditioned for.
4
SPEAKER_00
But you were smart enough or the people around you were smart enough to go still be a part of this.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I knew it was going to be a very successful movie.
4
SPEAKER_01
I went and filmed only a week on it.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s such an accelerant to now when you audition for things, you re in Bridesmaids.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Everyone in town wants the next Bridesmaids.
4
SPEAKER_00
Just to be associated with it is this enormous propulsion forward, right?
4
SPEAKER_00
It was just a gift.
4
SPEAKER_01
It was a gift.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then I talk about I got paid $3,500 and that $3,500 I had to give to join SAG, the union.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I really made nothing and paid for myself to go to the premiere.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I really lost at least $10,000.
4
SPEAKER_01
But it was the world s best gift.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I had to wait till the movie came out.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then I only had four little scenes.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, is that enough?
4
SPEAKER_01
And then I remember Jonah Hill had one scene.
4
SPEAKER_00
In 40-year-old.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
40-year-old virgin.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, oh, okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
Then he got jobs.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, I have four scenes, that s four chances to get noticed.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then bang, as soon as Bridesmaids came out, I think I booked six movies or something.
4
SPEAKER_01
One of which was Pitch Perfect.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_01
Right off the back of it.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I had to wait until the movie came out.
4
SPEAKER_01
So that was a very hard year here in Los Feliz with no money.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh similarly I have been on here for almost 10 years auditioning getting nothing I got punked I did the pilot I knew it was special and then the show got sued and the show is in court for a year and I was just like oh my god I almost got there.
4
SPEAKER_00
Why won t this come out?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that agony.
4
SPEAKER_01
Did you like doing Punk d?
4
SPEAKER_00
No, it s not my style of comedy, but I would have sucked dicks on TV at that point for any amount of money.
4
SPEAKER_00
There was nothing I wouldn t have done on TV.
4
SPEAKER_01
Because I did a show like that in Australia called Monster House.
4
SPEAKER_01
So one was called Deja Vu, one of the setups.
4
SPEAKER_01
And we d lure people into the house and they didn t know that there were cameras in the walls.
4
SPEAKER_01
It looked like a normal house, but it was rigged up like a Big Brother house.
4
SPEAKER_01
and then lured like a mortgage broker in.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then we d do this scenario where I d play the girl in the family and I d come down and ask for the keys and then I d exit and then five minutes later I d do the exact same thing, the exact same movement.
4
SPEAKER_01
And the person s just sitting there, you know, we d freak them out.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, they d have deja vu.
4
SPEAKER_01
Other scenarios were different where we d suddenly say the house has been quarantined for some infectious disease and they d have to take their clothes off.
4
SPEAKER_01
There were all these things.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I hated doing it because it was lying to real people.
4
SPEAKER_01
It felt mean.
4
SPEAKER_01
Whereas acting is different.
4
SPEAKER_01
Everyone s in on it.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s why I asked you about Punk d because I felt awful doing it to real people.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, it was lessened for me because everyone I was involved with fooling was very high status compared to me.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I didn t have any of the guilt of your average Joe.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was like, I don t feel too bad for Justin Timberlake.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m at his mansion and he has all these cars I want.
4
SPEAKER_00
So just my own story, but I m not a prankster by nature.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s not what I would have come up with, but I m so grateful for it.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I m proud of how it turned out.
4
SPEAKER_00
So let s just fast forward because you end up doing three Pitch Perfects.
4
SPEAKER_00
They re fucking enormous.
4
SPEAKER_00
They re the biggest musical comedies of all time.
4
SPEAKER_00
You do How to Be Single, which made a fortune.
4
SPEAKER_00
You do Guys and Dolls on the West End.
4
SPEAKER_00
Isn t it Romantic?
4
SPEAKER_00
The Hustle.
4
SPEAKER_00
Senior Year.
4
SPEAKER_00
You end up making, and this is from your book, I didn t look you up and out you, 20 million bucks in one year.
4
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
4
SPEAKER_02
Congratulations.
4
SPEAKER_01
That was the year I did Pitch Perfect 3, produced and acted in Isn t It Romantic and The Hustle.
4
SPEAKER_01
That was my biggest.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m also glad you put that in your book.
4
SPEAKER_02
Because I feel like we re taught, especially women, but everyone, be humble and don t say that and act like you don t have as much as you have or you re not worth what you re worth.
4
SPEAKER_02
And it s awesome to be like, yeah, I did that.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think also, additionally, it s really important because, and this is a never ending thread of this whole show, is that you hit these markers where your certain life will be fantastic.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it is important to know that the actual marker was hit.
4
SPEAKER_00
I grew up hearing that Will Ferrell got 20 million a movie and Vince Vaughn got 20.
4
SPEAKER_00
This is like a very significant thing in our business.
4
SPEAKER_00
So when you hit this number, we have arrived at the place where you re supposed to feel fantastic about yourself and be in a state of elation at all times.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then weirdly, I think you start questioning exactly what we re doing, right?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, because coming from not having that much money, you think, oh, God, if I could, I remember Jim Carrey telling a story about he got some huge paycheck.
4
SPEAKER_00
He had written himself a check.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that story.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then I was like,
5
SPEAKER_01
God, if I made $10 million a movie, that s insane.
5
SPEAKER_01
My life is awesome.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then I got to the end of that year and basically just wanted to collapse and wasn t happy.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I was proud of earning the money and doing those awesome movies.
5
SPEAKER_00
And you like your house and you like your car.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I like not having to worry when you go to the grocery store, like what the total is going to be.
5
SPEAKER_01
Because when I was in Los Feliz, I had a budget of $60 a week for my groceries and I couldn t go over that because then I d have to leave America if I didn t have enough money.
5
SPEAKER_01
And so it comes with some awesome things.
5
SPEAKER_01
But then I start going, oh, well, I ve done that.
5
SPEAKER_01
I ve been in big movies.
5
SPEAKER_01
My goal when I came to America was just to get in one Hollywood movie because then I thought people would respect me in Australia.
5
SPEAKER_00
You could have returned home as succeeding at your role.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I could have come home after Bridesmaids.
5
SPEAKER_00
But you keep moving the goalpost though.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and then now.
5
SPEAKER_01
Okay, maybe one more.
5
SPEAKER_00
Anything short of Melissa McCarthy s career and I m a failure.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then I started to go, but what about the rest of me?
5
SPEAKER_01
I ve been so driven, almost like an Olympic athlete.
5
SPEAKER_01
I do think you have to be that focused to make it in the entertainment business, very, very competitive.
5
SPEAKER_01
And so I ve neglected all these other parts of my life.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, what you do, and by the way, I did the exact same thing, which is it becomes the primary and only identity.
5
SPEAKER_00
I got to be a successful actor, and then
5
SPEAKER_00
If you re lucky enough, you get to make that your identity, but then you also go, oh, wow, this identity can be taken from me as well.
5
SPEAKER_00
This is a tricky business.
5
SPEAKER_00
And also, you can sense there s a whole part of the human experience that you are missing.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And so I d been, objectively speaking, successful.
5
SPEAKER_01
in my mission to come to America, come to Hollywood and make it as an actress.
5
SPEAKER_01
But then it doesn t make you feel that great.
5
SPEAKER_01
But all this time I just wanted it, wanted it and worked really hard.
5
SPEAKER_00
But that is the weird gift of it, in my opinion.
5
SPEAKER_00
The gift of it is to get it and then you can acknowledge that you would like more on an interpersonal level, on every other level.
5
SPEAKER_00
But if you don t get there, you don t ever come out of the haze of the fantasy.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s a huge gift, but it s not the gift you think it s gonna be.
5
SPEAKER_00
You die thinking that would have solved everything.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, the girl who I roomed with left after a few years and didn t make it and probably thinks, oh.
5
SPEAKER_00
She would have had a spectacular life.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, had she made it.
5
SPEAKER_00
So somehow in the process of coming to terms with all this and being recognizable and all these things, through the advice of a friend, you re strongly urged to freeze your eggs.
5
SPEAKER_01
through one of the Pitch Perfect girls.
5
SPEAKER_01
I think a lot of them have done it now.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I didn t have a boyfriend at the time and I was like, well, I m getting close to 40.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
How old were you?
5
SPEAKER_01
I was 39.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then I go in to see the fertility doctor and I think I want to have kids.
5
SPEAKER_01
And my friend told me, she came to you to freeze her eggs.
5
SPEAKER_01
I was such an idiot.
5
SPEAKER_01
I go, oh yeah, so I think I should do that as well.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then he looks me up and down and goes, yeah, but you d have a much better chance if you were healthy.
5
SPEAKER_00
Really quick, you know, Monica had a whole show called Race to 35 where she s freezed her eggs.
5
SPEAKER_00
She s like, she has been down this whole path with you.
5
SPEAKER_01
So I wish I d known about it earlier.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then also medically obese.
5
SPEAKER_01
And so the doctor was like, basically writing me off.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then that was a whole catalyst to change my life to become healthier.
5
SPEAKER_01
Weirdly, I couldn t do it for myself, but I could do it for a potential child.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, you re very goal-oriented type A. Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s hard to make yourself a goal.
5
SPEAKER_01
Maybe it s those motivational tapes from back in the day.
5
SPEAKER_01
So I was like, okay, 2020, I m going to get healthy to freeze my eggs.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then maybe also secretly to look hotter as well.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, this is a very interesting part of it.
5
SPEAKER_01
I know, that s the vein part of it.
5
SPEAKER_00
I ve seen you talk, of course, when you lost weight, that becomes the topic.
5
SPEAKER_00
You even were in an interview on the BBC and you re talking about, really, if you quantified how much press and headlines you had gotten over your weight lawsuit, it far eclipsed any of the press for your film work.
5
SPEAKER_00
And then in these interviews, I find you regularly having to say, well, it was to get healthy.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I just think that you re in one of the more unique positions of anyone I would ever talk to on this topic, which is you did become a mascot of body positivity and self-love.
5
SPEAKER_01
Which I love.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I was comparing, I was talking to my wife about this today.
5
SPEAKER_00
I was like, you re in a very tricky situation, I acknowledge, which is
5
SPEAKER_00
So many women felt like they had representation because of you.
5
SPEAKER_00
You were very outspoken about loving yourself, very positive.
5
SPEAKER_00
Then those people maybe feel betrayed when you change your body and how you re probably trying to balance
5
SPEAKER_00
these people who you spoke for, and are you entitled to make a decision to do something else?
5
SPEAKER_00
And do you have to constantly defend that decision?
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, I had made millions and millions of dollars playing the fat funny girl.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I represented that to so many people because I did love myself.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I do think beauty is at any size and body positive comments.
5
SPEAKER_01
I do really think that.
5
SPEAKER_01
But then also internally, I knew that I was engaging in very unhealthy behaviors and I was
5
SPEAKER_01
eating a whole gallon of ice cream a night.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s all throughout your history as a child.
5
SPEAKER_00
You react to sugar in a way that is how I react to cocaine.
5
SPEAKER_00
I had the drug, it was cocaine.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yours was sugar.
5
SPEAKER_01
You use it to regulate.
5
SPEAKER_01
And literally people say my eyes sparkle when I eat chocolate.
5
SPEAKER_01
You can literally see it.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t want to encourage you to do anything bad, but at the same time I kind of want to see the sparkle.
5
SPEAKER_00
We do have Tim Tams right here.
5
SPEAKER_00
Pass me over a Tim Tam.
5
SPEAKER_00
This whole thing feels orchestrated.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like that s the way to cheer me up with a chocolate.
5
SPEAKER_01
And so it s a complicated thing because I often just have more love for bigger people or sympathize with them and being bigger allowed me this amazing career and I profited on it.
5
SPEAKER_01
But then I knew I had these eating patterns that were bad for me and that part was bad.
5
SPEAKER_00
You forget the result of the eating.
5
SPEAKER_00
You recognize the eating in itself is problematic in that you re regulating your emotional state with something external.
5
SPEAKER_00
You could say that for sex, you could say that for drugs and alcohol, anything.
5
SPEAKER_00
This is a very complicated situation.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I knew that that part I had to fix or work on.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t know whether I can ever fix it, but I had to work on it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Regardless of the outcome, you wanted to tackle this.
5
SPEAKER_02
The way your body looks is different than the habit you re trying to correct.
5
SPEAKER_02
Those are separate things.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
So I started losing weight and then some people are like, why is she changing?
5
SPEAKER_01
Because it makes them think now she s abandoning us or she s not one of us anymore.
5
SPEAKER_00
She s a sellout or a traitor.
5
SPEAKER_01
Or why is she doing this?
5
SPEAKER_01
And it makes them feel bad because maybe they couldn t make the change in their own life.
5
SPEAKER_00
They feel weirdly maybe judged by what you ve done.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and so they don t like it.
5
SPEAKER_01
But then you re like, well, what would you like?
5
SPEAKER_01
Would you like me to go the John Candy route and then you die prematurely?
5
SPEAKER_01
Is that what those people wanted?
5
SPEAKER_01
Because that s kind of...
5
SPEAKER_01
what happens if you keep really overeating.
5
SPEAKER_01
So there was a segment of people, they d say, unrelatable anymore, or she s not funny anymore, which is interesting.
5
SPEAKER_00
And maybe- Kristen Wiig was small, she was funny in Bridesmaids.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I know.
5
SPEAKER_01
But it s weird because I d done this subject at university called comedy and power.
5
SPEAKER_01
If you are physically
5
SPEAKER_01
not good-looking, it is better for your comedy career.
5
SPEAKER_01
So if you have something extreme about you, like weight, or you have a big nose, or you re super tall, or you re super small, they are advantages.
5
SPEAKER_01
Because if people don t want to sleep with you, they re more likely to find you funny.
5
SPEAKER_01
If they want to sleep with you, they re less likely to find you funny.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that s really interesting.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, psychologically.
5
SPEAKER_01
Does that work both ways gender-wise?
5
SPEAKER_01
I think so.
5
SPEAKER_01
But it s probably more prejudicial towards women.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
There s so many like probably primitive competitive things, or if a guy is watching another guy be super funny and he s watching females laughing, he would be threatened by that guy if he were great looking.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh wow, we re getting somewhere.
5
SPEAKER_00
It also almost explains why that has been the case for comedian standups, except for black dudes.
5
SPEAKER_00
Black dudes can be sexy and hot.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I wonder if that s just because, oh, they ve been so marginalized.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s not a threat either.
5
SPEAKER_00
So they re allowed to be hot.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, Eddie Murphy.
5
SPEAKER_00
Eddie Murphy is wearing a leather suit, he s sexy as fuck.
5
SPEAKER_00
Chappelle s gorgeous and sexy.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, gorgeous.
5
SPEAKER_00
But most white stand-ups have been either kind of nebbishy or dorky or, you know, goofy.
5
SPEAKER_00
Men couldn t laugh at that.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s just too threatening.
5
SPEAKER_00
Wait, you have that power and you re hot?
5
SPEAKER_01
And it s the same with women.
5
SPEAKER_01
That s why someone like Jennifer Aniston, who I think is really attractive, it s interesting.
5
SPEAKER_01
She s had the great comedy career that she s had because she is pretty good looking and that s unusual.
5
SPEAKER_02
But it s probably because on Friends, that role didn t start off as the funny role.
5
SPEAKER_02
She was this love interest of Ross.
5
SPEAKER_02
And then she s just funny and great.
5
SPEAKER_02
So I think they wrote to that, but she wasn t cast.
5
SPEAKER_00
They had to love her before they let her.
5
SPEAKER_02
Lisa Kudrow was cast as the funny female role.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, because she was a bit more quirkier.
5
SPEAKER_01
She was tall.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it s like that traditionally in rom-coms.
5
SPEAKER_01
It was always really the hot girl was the love interest.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then it was always the fat funny friend because of their physical irregularity.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s crazy fascinating.
5
SPEAKER_01
But what really makes you funny is your personality.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
And often people who aren t good looking develop more of a personality.
5
SPEAKER_01
I might be simplifying everything, but I do believe that sometimes good looking people have a positive bias in the world and therefore they don t need to work as hard.
5
SPEAKER_00
How about this?
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, we all only work as hard as we have to.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_00
We can also be saved by a delusion.
5
SPEAKER_00
If you read Amy Poehler s book, Amy Poehler is so cute and attractive.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s ridiculous.
5
SPEAKER_00
She s also hysterically funny and she would be an example of someone that s still hot.
5
SPEAKER_00
But she and her mind in her own book
6
SPEAKER_00
will tell you, she looked in the mirror in high school and said, you re not getting boyfriends because of your hotness.
6
SPEAKER_00
You got to double down on this personality.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I had the same exact speech to myself in the mirror, like this nose and being 130 and 612, you got to do some other shit.
6
SPEAKER_00
And it s funny, you can, through your own delusion, get to the same place.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you can.
6
SPEAKER_00
So you say it in the book, you really, in a very exaggerated sense, felt like you had to make a decision between, do I want a career or do I want to try to have a baby?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
And mainly because my agent at the time also kind of put it that way, because there was a fear, not just from people on the internet, but also from my team that if you lose weight, you ll lose that pigeonhole that you ve so carefully crafted for yourself and you won t make the millions of dollars anymore.
6
SPEAKER_01
And so it was a pretty serious thing for me to go, okay, thanks guys for the advice.
6
SPEAKER_01
But I think in my heart, it is better to be healthier and try to go after that and freeze my eggs.
6
SPEAKER_01
And so I ignored pretty much all their advice and did what I wanted to do.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
What was best for you.
6
SPEAKER_00
Now along the way you set up for that goal, but also what I don t like is that you wouldn t be allowed to say, and I also liked it.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
So I started noticing, I mean, the first 20 pounds, someone at the Oscars go, you know, oh, oh, geez, she s looking all right.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then 40 pounds, and then people are like, oh.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then I posted like a picture in a bikini in my hot tub.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then an executive at the movie studio who I d been wanting to call me back for months calls me back.
6
SPEAKER_01
weird things started happening.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like at the Gelson s, people would offer to carry my groceries to the car.
6
SPEAKER_02
Really?
6
SPEAKER_00
You re getting hot girl privilege all of a sudden.
6
SPEAKER_01
Or hold doors open for me in New York City, going into a restaurant or something.
6
SPEAKER_01
And it didn t happen unless, it would sometimes happen, you d be more visible if you re on a press tour and you re in full glam.
6
SPEAKER_01
People are nice to you.
6
SPEAKER_01
But normally, you re slopping around in your track pants.
6
SPEAKER_01
You re not getting any kind of-
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, good-looking person, bias, positive bias.
6
SPEAKER_01
So these things were happening that I d never had before and I was like, oh my god, is this what other people, you see all the glamazons walking around here and you re like, is this what they get every day?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yes, yes, yes.
6
SPEAKER_00
Are people at Starbucks delighted to take their order?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and they are.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then I was like, I think I enjoyed it a bit.
6
SPEAKER_00
Sure.
6
SPEAKER_00
The attention.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I started posting all the time, pictures of my Instagram, thinking it was like God s gift to hotness or something.
6
SPEAKER_01
You re getting so much positive reinforcement.
6
SPEAKER_00
Let s also point out too, these things are very hard to evaluate because pre weight loss, you had a story about yourself in your life, which was I am invisible.
6
SPEAKER_00
No one cares.
6
SPEAKER_00
You are missing the few times maybe someone did hold open a door for you because it s actually counter to your story.
6
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
6
SPEAKER_00
You don t think so, no one ever.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m not saying that- Like no one ever came up and said they had a crush on me or whatever, like no one.
6
SPEAKER_00
But if you adjust your story, you start letting in this notion like, I m kind of hot.
6
SPEAKER_00
Now you do start seeing the evidence of that more.
6
SPEAKER_00
I see it with Monica.
6
SPEAKER_00
I see guys hit on, sorry, Monica.
6
SPEAKER_00
I see guys hit on Monica all the time.
6
SPEAKER_02
What s your status, Monica, relationship status?
6
SPEAKER_02
Well, I feel like I want to say a thing I can t say.
6
SPEAKER_00
Because ding, ding, ding.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, there s a big ding, ding, ding.
6
SPEAKER_00
Can we talk about that?
6
SPEAKER_00
Well, we ll cut it out.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think you should.
6
SPEAKER_00
Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert, if you dare.
6
SPEAKER_00
and most embarrassed by.
6
SPEAKER_01
You re gonna say the virginity thing.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and the thing that many people won t even know until they read this book that actually know you quite well.
6
SPEAKER_01
So literally you re now one of the handful of people that know this.
6
SPEAKER_01
So basically it s that I lost my virginity at 35.
6
SPEAKER_01
I mean, at least I did it before 40, because I d seen that movie, 40-Year-Old Virgin.
6
SPEAKER_00
You said you were mildly obsessed with that, right?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and I was like, oh shit, well, as long as I do it before 40, then I m not like Steve Carell, which I know he s a character in that.
6
SPEAKER_01
Anyways, I was listening to one of your podcasts with Molly and she said 24 or something, she lost her virginity and how late.
6
SPEAKER_01
People who lose their virginity even in their early 20s think that s so late.
6
SPEAKER_02
I know.
6
SPEAKER_01
And like they talk about it.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then I was just like, oh shit, I was 35 and what does that say about me?
6
SPEAKER_01
And so even the guy who I had sex with, I didn t even tell him.
6
SPEAKER_00
You say in the book, he s probably learning.
6
SPEAKER_00
He will probably learn about this.
6
SPEAKER_02
So just to tell you, Monica has the same story.
6
SPEAKER_02
I was 29 and I had the same thing.
6
SPEAKER_02
I was like, 30 is approaching fast.
6
SPEAKER_02
It was like, this is a big number.
6
SPEAKER_02
I got to get this done.
6
SPEAKER_02
I got to check this off the list.
6
SPEAKER_02
I got to rip the band.
6
SPEAKER_02
I ve got to figure out how to have sex.
6
SPEAKER_02
There s nothing about it that s sexy or romantic.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s just like, this has to happen.
6
SPEAKER_02
And I did tell the person and I was really debating, do I say it or do I not?
6
SPEAKER_02
For some reason, I don t know why, it felt unethical to not, but I also didn t know.
6
SPEAKER_02
And then we were about to have sex and I was like, I have to tell you something.
6
SPEAKER_02
And he, of course, I m sure thought I was going to say I had an STI or something like that.
6
SPEAKER_02
And I said, yeah, I ve never had sex before.
6
SPEAKER_02
And he was like, oh, do you want to?
6
SPEAKER_02
Which is a lovely, nice comment.
6
SPEAKER_02
The reason I tell this story is because the way this person handled it was spectacular.
6
SPEAKER_02
He said, do you want to?
6
SPEAKER_02
And I said, yes.
6
SPEAKER_02
And he said, okay, great.
6
SPEAKER_02
And then we did.
6
SPEAKER_00
You fucked his shit out of me.
6
SPEAKER_02
Well.
6
SPEAKER_02
And the actual sex is a big ol  blur.
6
SPEAKER_02
Like, I barely remember it.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, same.
6
SPEAKER_01
Because it was such a big deal in my mind.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
Like, it s happening!
6
SPEAKER_01
You know, I felt very happy it was happening.
6
SPEAKER_01
Because I d built it up and I did have this great imagination before.
6
SPEAKER_01
So I knew I wasn t asexual or anything.
6
SPEAKER_00
You had insecurity that you wouldn t be good at it.
6
SPEAKER_00
Did you have that same, Monica?
6
SPEAKER_02
For sure.
6
SPEAKER_02
Or like I wasn t going to be sexy.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
All of it.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
I don t know what I m doing.
6
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I, like an idiot, watched porn movies the night before.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, smart.
6
SPEAKER_01
Trying to get some last minute tips or something.
6
SPEAKER_02
Wait, and was this a boyfriend or was it also?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yes, it was a boyfriend who I was really, really into.
6
SPEAKER_01
Because you get to that point as well.
6
SPEAKER_01
You re like, if I m going to sleep with someone, it has to be someone good.
6
SPEAKER_01
I can t just shag a random person.
6
SPEAKER_00
because it had been so long.
6
SPEAKER_00
Each situation is so unique and hard in its own way, but you are also dealing with this very public persona of being very sexual.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
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So when I d gone out on a few dates with people, I think they were shocked when we sat down and we re in a one-on-one situation or after the date, and I wasn t like that because that was the character and that wasn t the real me.
6
SPEAKER_01
then they get a bit confused.
6
SPEAKER_01
And so that made dating a bit tricky.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then what could I do?
6
SPEAKER_01
I m not going to go and say it.
6
SPEAKER_01
What if someone sells the story to TMZ or something?
6
SPEAKER_01
Right.
6
SPEAKER_00
Minimally, you want to trust the person.
6
SPEAKER_01
So I d be interested, and this is the first time I m talking about it, but I ll be interested when the book comes out, whether people think it s super weird or whether there s lots of people who secretly were like me.
6
SPEAKER_00
I think there s lots, and I think when Monica s been very honest and brave about it, she s done this numerous times on here, both with the egg freezing, you just see thousands of people come out of the woodwork and go, oh my God, thank God someone s finally saying this.
6
SPEAKER_00
When she has talked about her late loss of her virginity, thousands of people.
6
SPEAKER_01
In my 20s, didn t date one person, was just focused on career.
6
SPEAKER_01
But I also felt inside that I wasn t lovable or I didn t have that self-worth.
6
SPEAKER_01
I had it in other areas, weirdly.
6
SPEAKER_01
Same.
6
SPEAKER_01
I had it in career.
6
SPEAKER_01
I had it in my brains.
6
SPEAKER_01
I had it in some areas and not in others.
6
SPEAKER_01
I didn t feel worthy of love in myself.
6
SPEAKER_01
And that s why I went on that experiment year called the year of love, trying to find love, which had a big plot twist.
6
SPEAKER_00
How did that work out?
6
SPEAKER_01
anyone who asked me out, I had to say yes to.
6
SPEAKER_01
It was 2019.
6
SPEAKER_01
But I didn t advertise it.
6
SPEAKER_01
My one exception was if they were in prison.
6
SPEAKER_01
Or you re a stalker.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
So for anybody else, I said yes.
6
SPEAKER_01
So I joined this dating app, Raya.
6
SPEAKER_01
Anyone who legit asked me out on a date, I d go out on.
6
SPEAKER_00
How many did you go on?
6
SPEAKER_01
So I went on 50 dates, which for me was huge for someone who s not dating.
6
SPEAKER_00
More than once a week.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s a lot of effort to do your hair and get ready and do the chit chat with the people.
6
SPEAKER_01
And met some actually lovely people.
6
SPEAKER_00
Was this pre-virginity or post?
6
SPEAKER_00
Post.
6
SPEAKER_01
So I d already had sex and had a couple of minor relationships, but didn t find the one.
6
SPEAKER_01
This journey I was on, I thought to find a husband at the time or real partner.
6
SPEAKER_01
But then really the journey, what I realized now is that I was trying to love myself.
6
SPEAKER_01
more and know that I was worthy of love, but I was doing that by trying to find the external love, which is kind of the storyline of Isn t It Romantic?
6
SPEAKER_01
But then weirdly, by doing that, I had feelings for a woman.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then it just was a total psych curveball out of nowhere because I met this tennis player and was like, holy shit, and then felt all these feelings that I had not felt before.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then it was like crazy.
6
SPEAKER_00
Soulmate feelings.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
It didn t work out, but it was like a huge plot twist in my year of love.
6
SPEAKER_01
What a year!
6
SPEAKER_00
What does that do to your agenda moving forward?
6
SPEAKER_01
Well, at that point, I thought maybe it s not like a Disney prince I m interested in, maybe it s a Disney princess.
6
SPEAKER_01
So then was open to dating both genders and then we
7
SPEAKER_02
my partner now, Ramona, was only the second woman.
7
SPEAKER_00
Are you guys engaged?
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, we re engaged.
7
SPEAKER_00
You re engaged?
7
SPEAKER_02
We did get engaged at Disneyland last Valentine s Day, which is very cliche.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh my gosh, congratulations.
7
SPEAKER_00
I know.
7
SPEAKER_00
Congrats.
7
SPEAKER_00
How cute.
7
SPEAKER_00
Wait, this a couple months ago or a year?
7
SPEAKER_02
No, a year.
7
SPEAKER_02
So the ending is, from doing all that experimenting and journeying, I realized I am lovable and worthy of love and found an amazing partner.
7
SPEAKER_02
Rebel, this is the pattern of... Spoiler, the book has a happy ending.
7
SPEAKER_00
Also, talk about a pattern of your life.
7
SPEAKER_00
So it s like, you re shy as fuck.
7
SPEAKER_00
And then you just force yourself to meet five people, go do these acting classes that you don t want to do.
7
SPEAKER_00
You feel awkward in love and you re just going to force it.
7
SPEAKER_00
Like this is a very, for you, a tried and true approach to overcome this.
7
SPEAKER_02
Now that you re saying it, I m like, oh yeah, I just set up these missions.
7
SPEAKER_00
You re like a deep end person, like jump into the deep end.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, and just go for it and try to improve.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s inspirational, though, and I do think people are reluctant to do that.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I do think it s the way to go.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, it s really admirable because it s so easy to just be like, that s too hard.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I could have had a nice life, had great friends and not pushed myself in that way.
7
SPEAKER_02
But that was almost the last thing that love and not intimate in a physical sense, because that had happened.
7
SPEAKER_02
But being really intimate with somebody took over 40 years
7
SPEAKER_00
And you have a baby?
7
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
7
SPEAKER_02
And now I have a gorgeous baby.
7
SPEAKER_02
She s 16 months now.
7
SPEAKER_01
From the egg freezing?
7
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
7
SPEAKER_01
Amazing.
7
SPEAKER_02
So basically I froze my eggs towards the end of 2020 and I had to do it several times because I m older.
7
SPEAKER_02
I did it five times.
7
SPEAKER_02
You get all the eggs in the basket and then they thaw them out and then half of them disappear.
7
SPEAKER_02
And then they try to fertilize the eggs and half of them... And what do you have in the bank, mom and dad?
7
SPEAKER_00
Nine.
7
SPEAKER_00
She s a little uneasy about the nine.
7
SPEAKER_02
They want 20.
7
SPEAKER_02
I had 18 and then had one successful pregnancy, which they don t really tell you that at first.
7
SPEAKER_02
It depends on how old you are.
7
SPEAKER_02
There s so many factors, but yeah, that s good to know.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, but luckily I have my daughter, Royce, who is just the littlest, cutest angel.
7
SPEAKER_02
She just somehow turned out perfect.
7
SPEAKER_02
She popped out like she s coming down a water slide.
7
SPEAKER_00
I had a surrogate, so it wasn t... Wasn t your water slide.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, so I was watching.
7
SPEAKER_02
Getting ready to cut the umbilical cord and everything.
7
SPEAKER_02
It is the miracle to me, but it was a mission as well.
7
SPEAKER_02
Going in, doing all that stuff five times in any moment.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s also a leap of faith like the other stuff is.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it s emotional.
7
SPEAKER_02
Five times.
7
SPEAKER_02
Rollercoaster.
7
SPEAKER_03
Wow.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
I am very impressed.
7
SPEAKER_02
Because I have something called PCOS, so my eggs, some of them weren t good quality.
7
SPEAKER_02
The science of it is fascinating.
7
SPEAKER_02
It is a good time to be doing that kind of thing because advancements have come so far, even in the last five years.
7
SPEAKER_00
This is my conclusion.
7
SPEAKER_00
We have nine and 10 year old girls.
7
SPEAKER_00
And for me to have finally elevated someone else s needs above my own has been the greatest experience of my life.
7
SPEAKER_00
And it s very counterintuitive.
7
SPEAKER_02
Do you have any tips for that?
7
SPEAKER_02
Because I lived this life for so many years where it was just focused on me and my career, and then now having a family, it s hard.
7
SPEAKER_02
A big adjustment.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it is hard.
7
SPEAKER_00
It is a big adjustment.
7
SPEAKER_00
I actually like myself infinitely more than I did before I was making two people ahead of me.
7
SPEAKER_00
For me, that s the gift.
7
SPEAKER_00
As a self-centered addict, borderline narcissist person, I think the great gift is I actually care about two people much more than myself.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, and everyone in our business, you have to be egocentric to some level to survive.
7
SPEAKER_00
Why would you think you would be the one in seven billion?
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, so even last night, my baby was a bit sick.
7
SPEAKER_02
We ve flown from Australia, she s vomiting.
7
SPEAKER_02
And then I asked my partner Ramona, can she sleep with the baby in the other side of the house?
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
Because I needed a sleep to start the book press.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
And then I m like, oh shit, am I like the most selfish person?
7
SPEAKER_02
No.
7
SPEAKER_02
Because I m still learning.
7
SPEAKER_02
At least I feel a bit bad about it, about sending them to the other side of the house.
7
SPEAKER_02
Because I am used to just living this solo life.
7
SPEAKER_00
If you wanted a great night s sleep because you wanted to watch Netflix tomorrow, you got a problem.
7
SPEAKER_00
That would be shit.
7
SPEAKER_00
But you have a job.
7
SPEAKER_00
That is ultimately about the baby because you got to go out and sell this book.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I m the breadwinner of the family.
7
SPEAKER_00
No, you re good.
7
SPEAKER_03
And it is an adjustment.
7
SPEAKER_03
Even if you re like, fuck, I just want to watch Netflix all day.
7
SPEAKER_03
That s...
7
SPEAKER_03
I think normal, and I actually think the older you are, I have friends who just had a baby and they re adjusting to this too, where it s like, we re on the older side now of starting to have kids, you know, around 40, and you ve lived a long time without.
7
SPEAKER_02
And so it s going to be a little bit of a harder adjustment.
7
SPEAKER_02
It is a hard adjustment because we re like, oh, we got invited to the Beyonce concert, but oh, what do we do with the baby?
7
SPEAKER_02
Things that are no-brainers normally.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I think I ve been a bit of a workaholic in my career and so now I m realizing I want to say no to the jobs because I want to spend time with my baby who s gorgeous and I don t want to be working 24-7 and so I will make adjustments because I m loving them so much and loving family time.
7
SPEAKER_02
It shocked me that I would ever be like that in a way.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s a good positive change.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and you re not sliding the needle all the way to selflessness.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s like you re probably a selfish, indulgent piece of shit like me and then you slide it like halfway good person and you can feel that.
7
SPEAKER_02
My mom was like a martyr.
7
SPEAKER_02
My mom sacrificed herself for us children and did everything for us.
7
SPEAKER_02
So didn t maybe follow her career like singing and playing guitar and stuff and never did that.
7
SPEAKER_02
And so I want to be in the middle where I still get to
7
SPEAKER_02
Have fulfillment in my job, but then also I am a good person and you will you will totally figure out that balance Yeah, it s hard though.
7
SPEAKER_00
It is really hard I have to admit that one chapter that of course really interested me was this Sasha Baron Cohen chapter Do you know him?
7
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
7
SPEAKER_00
He s always been very friendly to me and
7
SPEAKER_03
I don t even know what the, I don t know what you re talking about.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s a fucking shocking.
7
SPEAKER_02
So basically it was the worst professional experience I ve had.
7
SPEAKER_02
The movie was called Grimsby, I think was its name in America.
7
SPEAKER_02
And basically Sasha was someone from a comedic perspective I idolized who I thought, oh my God, like hilarious.
7
SPEAKER_02
I watched the LEG show and Borat movie.
7
SPEAKER_02
I just thought it was so funny.
7
SPEAKER_02
And he called me up one day and asked me to be in his movie.
7
SPEAKER_02
I thought like,
7
SPEAKER_00
Well, can I just add, he did one thing dicey before that, which is you were going to host MTV Movie Awards for the first time and your roommate had had a dinner party that he attended and you were floating some of the monologue to all these comedians.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, they re like, yeah, get the jokes out and test it on us.
7
SPEAKER_02
I m like, okay.
7
SPEAKER_02
Get my little palm cards.
7
SPEAKER_00
Dale Carnegie says always look opportunity in the thing.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
And so I m like, okay.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I start doing the jokes about the movies that year and I can just see him not laughing.
7
SPEAKER_02
And there were other comedians there, but they were being more friendly.
7
SPEAKER_02
But Sasha was the one that I really idolized.
7
SPEAKER_02
And so I was like, just seeing if he would laugh.
7
SPEAKER_02
And then I d end my palm cards and he goes, you re in real serious trouble.
7
SPEAKER_02
You have nothing.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh my gosh.
7
SPEAKER_02
And he had hosted the MTV Movie Awards.
7
SPEAKER_02
I was freaking out, which sent me on like a four-day panic spiral where I got other comedians to write some jokes for me and I ended up doing them at UCB, but doing the same jokes I had said in front of Sasha, but then all these kids laughed.
7
SPEAKER_02
And they killed, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
So then I was like, why did he do that?
7
SPEAKER_02
Because the jokes were good.
7
SPEAKER_02
Because he was jealous.
7
SPEAKER_02
Well, I don t know why.
7
SPEAKER_02
And then I think it was maybe a year later when he asked me to be in his movie and to play his wife.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I go, wow, this is awesome.
7
SPEAKER_02
And it s going to film in South Africa.
7
SPEAKER_02
I was like, oh, I ll be there.
7
SPEAKER_00
You re old malaria stomping grounds.
7
SPEAKER_00
I hope I don t get malaria again.
7
SPEAKER_00
And take my pills this time.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I went down and I was probably my heaviest at that point and dealing with things about my father.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I noticed he kind of got off on just making people in general feel uncomfortable.
7
SPEAKER_02
And then he would make me feel very uncomfortable by all sorts of comments.
7
SPEAKER_02
Like he said, I should rent a boat in Cape Town and we should kiss publicly.
7
SPEAKER_02
And then the paparazzi would take photos and then that could be a scandal that would help promote the film.
7
SPEAKER_03
Oh boy.
7
SPEAKER_02
And then kept saying that I have to go naked in the movie and I have to run across this soccer field and how hilarious it would be and that it d be like a classic comedy if I did that.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I just kept saying no, no, no.
7
SPEAKER_02
Every interaction was something about this nudity.
7
SPEAKER_02
And then we were shooting at this soccer stadium, a sequence, and I get called out of the trailer by an assistant and he said, Sasha wants to talk to you.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I go into a room, you know, there s dingy rooms in the bottom of stadiums, and there was a mattress there on the floor.
7
SPEAKER_02
And he pulls down his pants, but he had underwear still on, and his buddies were around.
7
SPEAKER_02
They said, oh, this will be added bit for the movie.
7
SPEAKER_02
Sasha said, I just need you to stick your finger up my ass.
7
SPEAKER_02
Which sounds funny when I say, I know, sometimes with my accent or whatever.
7
SPEAKER_02
And obviously it s not for the movie.
7
SPEAKER_02
There s no camera crew, the sound crew, they re off at a different part of the stadium filming the actual movie.
7
SPEAKER_02
So his buddies had iPhones and were filming the whole thing.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I m just horrified and like,
7
SPEAKER_02
I was like, no, why would I do that?
7
SPEAKER_02
I ve never stuck my finger up somebody s ass.
7
SPEAKER_02
So I was like, no, certainly not the guy who s my boss.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I kept saying no, no, no.
7
SPEAKER_02
And then it felt like an eternity.
7
SPEAKER_02
It probably wasn t.
7
SPEAKER_02
I felt like I said no 300 times and he s come on, just do it.
7
SPEAKER_02
It ll be hilarious.
7
SPEAKER_02
It ll be so
8
SPEAKER_00
funny if you just did it.
8
SPEAKER_00
And then eventually someone was looking for Sasha in the production and came and I feel rescued me from the situation because I wasn t physically trapped but I felt trapped.
8
SPEAKER_00
And then I went back to my trailer and called my agent who also happened to represent him.
8
SPEAKER_00
And so this was before Me Too had happened and they represented him and he was a bigger star and so said what happened and then it was this debate about what do I do?
8
SPEAKER_00
Do I continue on and do the movie, which would be the professional thing, to not quit a movie set?
8
SPEAKER_00
Or do I leave and the agent said, well,
8
SPEAKER_00
you know, if something like this happens again, then you can leave.
8
SPEAKER_00
So I stayed against all my instincts.
8
SPEAKER_04
He has to put a broomstick up his ass.
8
SPEAKER_04
That ll be the final.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, like he does another thing.
8
SPEAKER_04
If it gets worse, how could it get much worse?
8
SPEAKER_00
And there were other things that I talk about in the chapter, just things that made me feel like humiliated or degraded on that set.
8
SPEAKER_00
We ended up hiring a... Like a stripper from Cape Town to do the nude bit and asked me to watch it.
8
SPEAKER_00
What the fuck?
8
SPEAKER_00
And then was like, see, she did it.
8
SPEAKER_00
Look how good she is.
8
SPEAKER_00
But he s literally sitting there laughing because her fat on her stomach and on her legs and on her boobs is jiggling up and down.
8
SPEAKER_00
And for whatever reason, he found that hilarious.
8
SPEAKER_02
This is rough.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m sorry.
8
SPEAKER_00
What a fucking shitty experience.
8
SPEAKER_00
Sometimes when you think about your self-worth, that really did a number on me because at that point I was hugely popular around that time and Pitch Perfect was a huge success and so I couldn t have more cachet as a
8
SPEAKER_00
comedy star but then this made me feel as a person I was just someone to be laughed at and it wasn t about the scene or the comedy it was personally humiliating and then I looked back at some of his work and I thought is some of the other stuff jokes or is it really...
8
SPEAKER_00
his opinion about women and especially overweight women.
8
SPEAKER_00
And so I felt really bad.
8
SPEAKER_00
At first, you could try to rationalize it.
8
SPEAKER_00
Again, it was before me too.
8
SPEAKER_00
I go, oh, maybe I m just not tough enough.
8
SPEAKER_00
I can t keep up with the jokes.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I remember there was this one movie, I think it was Emma Watson, and there was a whole thing when she left set because these boys were improvising gross jokes at her.
8
SPEAKER_00
And there was a bit of a scandal about it.
8
SPEAKER_00
And they said, oh, because she can t hang with the boys.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I thought, oh, is that what they re going to say about me?
8
SPEAKER_00
And I tried to laugh it off.
8
SPEAKER_00
But then, I don t know, it just sunk in.
8
SPEAKER_00
I don t want to be around this person ever again.
8
SPEAKER_00
Don t want to see their face.
8
SPEAKER_00
And so I said, I m not going to promote the film, which was the only leverage I had.
8
SPEAKER_00
At that point, there s a bit more in the book about he asked me to do reshoots, which was a graphic sex scene with him.
8
SPEAKER_00
Using objects and the way it was written, it was disgusting.
8
SPEAKER_00
I just can t have anything to do with him.
8
SPEAKER_00
And then they threatened my career.
8
SPEAKER_00
and said, there s only five movie studios in town and we can ruin your reputation in all of them.
8
SPEAKER_00
And that went from like hurt to being threatened.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I don t know what they did, because obviously I didn t promote the movie.
8
SPEAKER_00
I had not seen the finished film.
8
SPEAKER_04
This is probably the only time in your life you ve been really happy that a movie you were in didn t shit.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
So I kind of felt that was karma enough.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s not like I m seeking some revenge.
8
SPEAKER_04
Well, you say in the book, you don t want them to be cancelled, but you also want the truth of your experience to be known.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and it was a dilemma when Me Too came out and I don t feel like a victim in a way people who have been assaulted have.
8
SPEAKER_00
That was just the worst thing to have happened to me.
8
SPEAKER_00
And do you put that in the book or not?
8
SPEAKER_00
And then I just felt like, well, there was more stuff.
8
SPEAKER_00
The stuff that s in the book is just the stuff that can be verified for legal reasons.
8
SPEAKER_00
You have to do all that.
8
SPEAKER_00
work, because as a lawyer I know about defamation.
8
SPEAKER_00
And then I just thought, okay, put it in because hopefully other women, people who might feel like they re being taken advantage of or whatever, read it.
8
SPEAKER_04
I would imagine if I were you, you might have some anger at yourself that you didn t make a bigger stink at the time.
8
SPEAKER_04
But I weirdly feel like this is how you heal from it as you go, but today I can still do something and this is how I am going to stand up for myself.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I didn t stand up for myself apart from calling my agent and a lawyer.
8
SPEAKER_04
I don t want to in any way imply this was your fault.
8
SPEAKER_04
I m just, I m suggesting.
8
SPEAKER_00
But I even went to London months later agreeing in the reshoots because logically I thought
8
SPEAKER_00
He s written this graphic sex scene, but I was told by my agent, you can go and have a meeting and the female producer is going to be there and you can tell him why you were so uncomfortable.
8
SPEAKER_00
So just fly, just go to London, you know, and I never should have.
8
SPEAKER_00
And so I am angry.
8
SPEAKER_04
But this is the way you go, now I m done.
8
SPEAKER_04
This is the thing I can do today and I m going to be brave enough today to do it.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I m not a confrontational person, so I m not out to start a fight with somebody.
8
SPEAKER_00
There s been so many times in my life where I haven t said something, and I just felt like this experience made me feel so bad that the only thing is to write it down as one of the chapters.
8
SPEAKER_04
I guess that s maybe when I m suggesting that this isn t necessarily to hurt him as much as heal you.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and because it made me feel so low self-worth, and if you read the whole book, the journey is coming to self-love and self-worth, and that was one of the things that really took me down.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s a big part of the story.
8
SPEAKER_00
Despite having all these amazing things going on in my life, having that that just make you feel like shit and make you feel like you re really ugly.
8
SPEAKER_04
And like imposters, I m not really this thing.
8
SPEAKER_04
think I am.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
And that being overweight is laughable.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I guess it s my way of just putting out the story.
8
SPEAKER_00
And obviously I don t expect any cancellations or anything.
8
SPEAKER_00
I don t really agree with that kind of stuff, but I don t know.
8
SPEAKER_00
It s sharing it because it does help me.
8
SPEAKER_04
Well, I can tell you what you re going to get out of it.
8
SPEAKER_04
It s the same as you saying I m a virgin at 35, which to you still feels like something, but to all of us, but everyone else outside of your own head is A, not judgmental of that.
8
SPEAKER_04
And then B, many people relating deeply, feeling, seeing the same gift you gave to people when you were urging everyone to be body positive and representing.
8
SPEAKER_04
And so this story, although,
8
SPEAKER_04
A million people won t have been on a film set?
8
SPEAKER_04
They have been in this situation.
8
SPEAKER_04
The situation is ever-present.
8
SPEAKER_04
And there s also all these categories of work that are boys clubs.
8
SPEAKER_04
So comedy s always been a boys club.
8
SPEAKER_04
And if you re admitted as a girl, there s this heartbreaking urge to just go along with anything because you ve been invited.
8
SPEAKER_04
You re one of the few people that have been invited in.
8
SPEAKER_04
There s female engineers that are in the boys club.
8
SPEAKER_00
And when he s yelling, like, show your vagina, open up your legs on the couch when I m doing this scene.
8
SPEAKER_00
And do I do that?
8
SPEAKER_00
He s telling me to do that because he thinks it s funny.
8
SPEAKER_00
You start questioning yourself.
8
SPEAKER_00
And then I d played characters like Fat Amy, which I had agency over, but this was something different that I d not come across.
8
SPEAKER_00
And it felt like exploiting yourself.
8
SPEAKER_00
That was a time where I did it and I should have quit.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I go, why did I not quit?
8
SPEAKER_04
Because there s this enormous machine around you and you re a person.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I m also someone who holds my professionalism in a high regard.
8
SPEAKER_04
By the way, they know they have leverage over you.
8
SPEAKER_04
We know you care about that.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
You know, I m someone that comes to work on time and does my job and is proud of that.
8
SPEAKER_00
And that really put me in a conflict.
8
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
But now I know better.
8
SPEAKER_04
And now you have a little baby.
8
SPEAKER_00
I know, and I look at her sweet little face.
8
SPEAKER_04
Aww.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m like, aww.
8
SPEAKER_04
Well, Rebel, I ve really enjoyed getting to meet you.
8
SPEAKER_04
We ve never met, which kind of is shocking to me.
8
SPEAKER_00
Unless we were at the same party at some point or something.
8
SPEAKER_00
Sure you ve crossed party paths.
8
SPEAKER_00
I definitely watched Punk d.
8
SPEAKER_00
You did.
8
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, that was kind of an international show.
8
SPEAKER_04
That was big in Australia.
8
SPEAKER_00
And Monica, thank you for sharing that story, because I have a lot of friends who are like, oh yeah, I lost my virginity at 17.
8
SPEAKER_00
It was so late, and they d tell me these stories.
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh shit.
8
SPEAKER_02
So I really appreciate you sharing that.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s so much more common than you think.
8
SPEAKER_02
And like I said, the only reason I know is because I talk about it on here and we talk about all kinds of crazy stuff because I kind of forget people are listening.
8
SPEAKER_02
And then so many people are in all of these situations.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s good for them.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s good for me.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s good for you.
8
SPEAKER_02
Like it s good for everyone.
8
SPEAKER_00
And if anyone s out there listening, I thought maybe there was something wrong with me.
8
SPEAKER_00
Turns out there was nothing wrong.
8
SPEAKER_00
It was just a whole combination of factors and shyness.
8
SPEAKER_00
The way your narrative went, your story went, it s different.
8
SPEAKER_00
And it worked out great.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I ve had plenty of great sex since.
8
SPEAKER_04
You re engaged and you have a baby.
8
SPEAKER_04
We ended up at the exact same spot, everyone does.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I know.
8
SPEAKER_00
It was just a different timeline.
8
SPEAKER_00
I say I m a late bloomer in the book.
8
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_04
Well, it s a beautiful book and it s very honest.
8
SPEAKER_04
And I really enjoyed reading it.
8
SPEAKER_04
Rebel Rising.
8
SPEAKER_04
I hope everyone gets a non-printed out copy.
8
SPEAKER_04
But really, such a pleasure talking to you and I appreciate your honesty so much.
8
SPEAKER_00
Thank you, Monica.
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh, no, I loved it.
8
SPEAKER_04
Okay, wonderful.
8
SPEAKER_04
We ll come back and do it again.
8
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
8
SPEAKER_00
See you guys.
8
SPEAKER_00
Bye.
8
SPEAKER_00
Bye.
8
SPEAKER_03
Stay tuned for the fact check so you can hear all the facts that were wrong.
8
SPEAKER_04
Good morning.
8
SPEAKER_01
Good morning.
8
SPEAKER_04
Is this maybe the earliest fact check we ve ever done?
8
SPEAKER_01
Fact check, maybe?
8
SPEAKER_04
Fact check, that s why I m calling this a fact check.
8
SPEAKER_01
This is a fact check.
8
SPEAKER_04
I just brought my little mommy a cup of coffee.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s nice.
8
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
Did she enjoy that?
8
SPEAKER_04
I think so.
8
SPEAKER_04
Her boyfriend brings her coffee every morning.
8
SPEAKER_04
So I think, it s probably why she goes home so quick.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I would.
8
SPEAKER_01
I d go home to my boyfriend who brings me coffee.
8
SPEAKER_01
She said that she s going to move
9
SPEAKER_02
into my house and that it ll be the kitty cat club.
9
SPEAKER_01
You know, we were walking by your house.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
Sunday after everyone got too full on spaghetti dinner.
9
SPEAKER_02
Mm-hmm.
9
SPEAKER_01
And we were walking by and so we were like peeking at it.
9
SPEAKER_01
We were getting excited for you.
9
SPEAKER_01
Kristen said to Lincoln, are you gonna like come over here all the time?
9
SPEAKER_01
And Lincoln s like, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
And I said, poor Monica thinks she s getting a new house, but she s really getting two children.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I can t wait.
9
SPEAKER_01
And that s what my mom said.
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh, and I also invited myself to live in her house.
9
SPEAKER_01
You think you re getting this big glorious house and you really just have the, now you have two children.
9
SPEAKER_01
I ll have a spillover from here.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it s really that this house is just moving over to that house.
9
SPEAKER_01
Should we just swap?
9
SPEAKER_02
No, I m excited.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s bigger.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yours is going to be prettier.
9
SPEAKER_02
Apparently mine s bigger.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yours is going to be prettier too.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yours is going to really be something.
9
SPEAKER_01
I was looking at it from the street.
9
SPEAKER_01
I was picturing that backyard and everything.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s going to be great.
9
SPEAKER_02
Everyone s welcome, the kids are obviously welcome, and your mom is obviously welcome anytime.
9
SPEAKER_01
You know what s funny is it might be easier for me to house Nermy and Ashok when they re here, and you to house my mom, and then we all get together and hang out.
9
SPEAKER_02
That s not a bad idea.
9
SPEAKER_02
Some space.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s so unfair.
9
SPEAKER_01
What were we, you and I were just talking.
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I was talking about that episode of Love on the Spectrum.
9
SPEAKER_02
That everyone s just so mean to their moms.
9
SPEAKER_01
to their mom.
9
SPEAKER_02
Like everyone, all of us, we re so mean to our mom.
9
SPEAKER_01
And of all the people that don t deserve it, they really put in all the time.
9
SPEAKER_02
I know.
9
SPEAKER_01
It says something maybe about human nature.
9
SPEAKER_01
Like when you actually, like everyone wants unconditional love.
9
SPEAKER_02
Then who wants to be a mom then?
9
SPEAKER_01
It s like, it s awful.
9
SPEAKER_01
But you want unconditional love.
9
SPEAKER_01
And then the person that gives it to you, you just like take for granted your super judgmental love.
9
SPEAKER_02
I know.
9
SPEAKER_01
Look, I actively in my head have to be like, we re shooting the shit last night by the pool with the kids and she s talking and I have to like actively go.
9
SPEAKER_01
She s just a wonderful, nice person.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
9
SPEAKER_01
But it s so like, I think maybe at the core of it for me is like, you just see yourself in them.
9
SPEAKER_02
You can t help it.
9
SPEAKER_01
You just see yourself in them and it s like all the things you might beat yourself up for in bed that night.
9
SPEAKER_02
Well, and more than you see or say, because we do that, but even when you re therapized enough to stop yourself from doing that, you can t erase a lifetime of history with a person.
9
SPEAKER_02
It s just impossible to see them.
9
SPEAKER_02
Maybe we get glimpses, but for the most part, it s impossible to just live in a space where your parent is just a person.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
9
SPEAKER_02
They re still in some ways.
9
SPEAKER_02
My parents are still the people that if shit really hits the fan, I m gonna go live there again.
9
SPEAKER_01
Of course.
9
SPEAKER_01
I mean, that s still an option on the table.
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh, they deserve such good treatment.
9
SPEAKER_02
And I didn t even text back.
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you got an unanswered text.
9
SPEAKER_02
Well, we were supposed, we re like trying to plan.
9
SPEAKER_01
A trip to India?
9
SPEAKER_02
No, God, I would be responding to that.
9
SPEAKER_01
Okay, I d be all over that.
9
SPEAKER_02
We re trying to, you re gone for a week, so I m trying to plan what I m doing, which I think, I really want to go to New York.
9
SPEAKER_02
Of course.
9
SPEAKER_02
But then we also might go visit my brother.
9
SPEAKER_02
So I m trying to figure this out.
9
SPEAKER_02
I told my parents like, oh, I ll figure this out.
9
SPEAKER_02
this weekend, two weekends ago.
9
SPEAKER_02
And then this past weekend, she was like, have you figured it out?
9
SPEAKER_02
And I was like, yes, I m opening up my computer to figure out right now.
9
SPEAKER_02
I ll let you know in a bit.
9
SPEAKER_02
And I did, I opened it, but then Callie wanted to go get brunch.
9
SPEAKER_02
So then I left and then I never responded.
9
SPEAKER_02
And then the next day she was like, we re booking it for this, which I was so glad.
9
SPEAKER_02
It s like, yeah, just, can you just do it?
9
SPEAKER_02
And then I was like, yeah, I can come to that.
9
SPEAKER_02
I ll make that happen.
9
SPEAKER_01
You re going to Phoenix?
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_02
Just for a couple days.
9
SPEAKER_01
Listen, I was introduced to this place while working for General Motors and we got to go there like probably six times.
9
SPEAKER_01
And Arizona was a huge destination for car shows because the Desert Proving Grounds was out there.
9
SPEAKER_01
So they had all the cars out there and everything.
9
SPEAKER_01
So we were there a lot.
9
SPEAKER_01
And the Biltmore Hotel, Robbie, will you look up and see if it s a Four Seasons?
9
SPEAKER_01
I think it is.
9
SPEAKER_01
It was designed by a student of Frank Lloyd Wright s.
9
SPEAKER_01
And it is my favorite architecture of any building I ve ever seen.
9
SPEAKER_01
And it might be because I was young and I hadn t been around nice stuff yet, but I think it is as good as I saw it.
9
SPEAKER_01
A Waldorf Astoria resort.
9
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_01
There s like, you know, there s bocce ball and like, there s a lot of courtyards that are all surrounded in and it s all stamped concrete with these really cool, very Frank Lloyd Wright concrete stuff.
9
SPEAKER_01
There s a water slide it looks like.
9
SPEAKER_01
There is?
9
SPEAKER_01
Or just this picture.
9
SPEAKER_02
I m hoping that I run into Hermium Permium.
9
SPEAKER_01
Doesn t he live there?
9
SPEAKER_01
Well he lives in Colorado, New Mexico, USA.
9
SPEAKER_02
Arizona, USA.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, Colorado, Mexico, Arizona, USA.
9
SPEAKER_00
They did add a crazy water slide.
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh, they did.
9
SPEAKER_00
Twist water slide.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you love water slides, Monica.
9
SPEAKER_00
65 foot twist triple water slide.
9
SPEAKER_02
Whoa!
9
SPEAKER_02
Is it a tube one?
9
SPEAKER_02
It s a tube.
9
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I do like tube ones, except that bad story we heard.
9
SPEAKER_00
Right.
9
SPEAKER_02
About that little boy.
9
SPEAKER_00
Well, it s a tube, but you re not in a tube.
9
SPEAKER_02
Right, like you lay in it.
9
SPEAKER_00
So it s a body slide.
9
SPEAKER_02
Oh, no, I m not doing that.
9
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_02
No, no, thank you.
9
SPEAKER_02
But it s fancy.
9
SPEAKER_02
I like the ones where you re in a inner tube.
9
SPEAKER_00
This is June or this is tomorrow?
9
SPEAKER_02
No, this is April.
9
SPEAKER_00
April.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
June or tomorrow.
9
SPEAKER_02
April, New York in April.
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh, God.
9
SPEAKER_01
So excited.
9
SPEAKER_01
Be still my something heart.
9
SPEAKER_02
I know.
9
SPEAKER_01
What is it?
9
SPEAKER_02
Beating.
9
SPEAKER_01
He s still my beating heart.
9
SPEAKER_02
I think there s something.
9
SPEAKER_02
I thought it was just be still my heart.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
I think it s just that I ll be still my beating heart as a sting song.
9
SPEAKER_01
No, I m thinking more of like a ground Poe or something.
9
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God.
9
SPEAKER_02
They have Easter at this place.
9
SPEAKER_01
At the Biltmore?
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
This sounds like an ad.
9
SPEAKER_01
This would be the best ad.
9
SPEAKER_01
Because it was like, I m thinking about going someplace.
9
SPEAKER_01
I m like, you know what place is great?
9
SPEAKER_01
And then you would start reading about it and discovering it.
9
SPEAKER_02
You re right.
9
SPEAKER_02
Also, they have retail shops.
9
SPEAKER_02
You know, I love that.
9
SPEAKER_02
And a spa.
9
SPEAKER_02
Anyway, I ll just say, yeah, I didn t respond.
9
SPEAKER_00
They have Illuminatis out there, which is a Chicago pizza place.
9
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I was like, you mean our five Illuminatis?
9
SPEAKER_01
John Batiste and David Sedaris.
9
SPEAKER_02
I keep thinking of people who d be great and then forgetting to write it down.
9
SPEAKER_01
We re not great stewards of the Illuminati list.
9
SPEAKER_01
I had a moment this morning where I had seen a little, a really cute little boy and his father singing just the two of us.
9
SPEAKER_02
Oh, at school?
9
SPEAKER_01
No, on Instagram.
9
SPEAKER_02
Oh.
9
SPEAKER_01
And the boy looked like Calvin to me.
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
9
SPEAKER_01
So I sent it to Rob and I said, with a little practice, this could be you and Calvin.
9
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
9
SPEAKER_01
And then after I sent it, I was like, you know, the boy s Asian.
9
SPEAKER_01
Is Rob gonna think I think?
9
SPEAKER_01
Was it rude?
9
SPEAKER_01
Well, the best, tell us, tell Monica what happened.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I played it for Calvin and Vincent.
9
SPEAKER_00
They were sitting on the couch and Vincent just kept going, cow, cow, cow, cow, and pointing at the little boy singing.
9
SPEAKER_02
So he probably really looked like him.
9
SPEAKER_00
He did, he had a lot of the same mannerisms, too.
9
SPEAKER_01
He was wearing jammies, I feel like Calvin would wear.
9
SPEAKER_02
Calvin always wears jammies.
9
SPEAKER_02
Everyone knows that about him.
9
SPEAKER_01
So he said, Vinny, I thought so, too.
9
SPEAKER_01
And I said, great, I ve been absolved of all racism.
9
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I think it d be really sweet, Rob, if you did that, but I think it s a little cuter if Vinny and Calvin learn how to sync that together.
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh my, well that would stop the world.
9
SPEAKER_01
That would be another Jackson 2, Jackson 5 all over again.
9
SPEAKER_02
Well, we don t want to.
9
SPEAKER_01
Do you ever watch old videos of Jackson 5?
9
SPEAKER_01
It s impossible.
9
SPEAKER_02
It s sad.
9
SPEAKER_01
How good of a singer he was as a little tiny, he was a little infant up there.
9
SPEAKER_02
It was before he got ruined.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_02
It s sad.
9
SPEAKER_02
He was so talented and like just a little boy.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s crazy.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
God.
9
SPEAKER_01
I just picture my children, they re so young.
9
SPEAKER_01
For them to have learned, like, he knew all those dance routines, all the lyrics, he was hitting all the notes.
9
SPEAKER_01
I mean, he was a little machine.
9
SPEAKER_01
Do you think he might have been older than they were saying?
9
SPEAKER_01
No.
9
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_01
I don t think so.
9
SPEAKER_01
Like Emmanuel Lewis.
9
SPEAKER_02
Was that that short guy?
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, Webster.
9
SPEAKER_01
Short guy.
9
SPEAKER_01
That s one way to say it.
9
SPEAKER_01
That actually feels has more integrity than little people.
9
SPEAKER_02
Exactly.
9
SPEAKER_01
Short guy.
9
SPEAKER_02
Because really that s what s happening.
9
SPEAKER_02
Short guy.
9
SPEAKER_01
You re short.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_02
And a guy.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_02
I think.
9
SPEAKER_02
Uh, well, are we, we re not, do you want to say, cause it ll be out after?
9
SPEAKER_01
What s that?
9
SPEAKER_02
What you re doing today?
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
That d be great.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_02
What are you doing today?
9
SPEAKER_01
We re going to record armchair anonymous after this.
9
SPEAKER_01
And for that, Lincoln and I are getting in the car and we re going to Anaheim, California.
9
SPEAKER_01
And we re going to stay at a hotel and Charlie and Ace are meeting us and we re going to have fun, fun, fun tonight and have supper time.
9
SPEAKER_02
What time do you think you ll get there?
9
SPEAKER_01
Um, three, three, four.
10
SPEAKER_01
What are you gonna do in between four and dinner?
10
SPEAKER_00
Those kids will probably wanna go in the pool.
10
SPEAKER_00
They have a pretty fun pool at the hotel.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
10
SPEAKER_00
And then tomorrow, Disneyland all day.
10
SPEAKER_01
And then you re staying that night too?
10
SPEAKER_00
No, coming home that night.
10
SPEAKER_00
Coming home, okay.
10
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
10
SPEAKER_00
She wanted to stay that second night and I had to be the bearer of bad news that we would be coming back.
10
SPEAKER_01
Sure, no one wants to leave Disneyland.
10
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no.
10
SPEAKER_01
It s hard to leave.
10
SPEAKER_00
No, but I was trying to explain to her what the commute would be like on Thursday morning versus Wednesday night.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
Again, these aren t things that kids care about, commute time, but I am, I am.
10
SPEAKER_00
I am such a dad in that way.
10
SPEAKER_00
When we have to go somewhere, I m like, guys, if we leave in an hour, it s gonna take us twice as long.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
10
SPEAKER_00
I have a real hard time, the same activity could take twice as long.
10
SPEAKER_01
I get it, especially when it s sitting in the car.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, what are things like that, like when you become an adult?
10
SPEAKER_01
You all of a sudden care about things that you- Well, you re running out of time is what s happening.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, it s true.
10
SPEAKER_01
Well, time is the scarcest commodity.
10
SPEAKER_00
It is.
10
SPEAKER_00
That s what s commonly said among rich people.
10
SPEAKER_01
No.
10
SPEAKER_01
No, I think everyone thinks that.
10
SPEAKER_01
I think- No, I have noticed- More people say it who have children.
10
SPEAKER_01
I don t think it has to do with being rich.
10
SPEAKER_00
But if you re broke, no.
10
SPEAKER_00
The scarcest commodity is money.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh, well, you know, like money is more important in time because what are you going to like, you want to live another hundred years starving.
10
SPEAKER_00
So it is, it is a little bit of, you see a lot of like really successful people say that a lot, but I would feel so stupid at one.
10
SPEAKER_00
Well, let s talk about this, this, we can talk about on air.
10
SPEAKER_00
So we re back.
10
SPEAKER_00
We were not proud of anything we were saying.
10
SPEAKER_01
Well, you are proud of my actions.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you are.
10
SPEAKER_00
But anyways.
10
SPEAKER_01
You said something you regretted and so we re cutting it.
10
SPEAKER_00
I did, I said something that was beneath me.
10
SPEAKER_01
But I think it s nice that you caught it, or like you said it and then you were like, why d I say that?
10
SPEAKER_00
That s good.
10
SPEAKER_01
I think we need to be doing this more.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
10
SPEAKER_01
Because, and we talked about this on Synced, it s getting so bonkers out there.
10
SPEAKER_01
Everyone s just so- The purity test?
10
SPEAKER_01
Upset with everyone.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, getting so much pleasure in other people s demise.
10
SPEAKER_00
Schadenfreude.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s like at an all time high.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s tasty.
10
SPEAKER_01
What?
10
SPEAKER_00
That brings me back to the book.
10
SPEAKER_00
Is it getting annoying how much I m talking about this intelligence book?
10
SPEAKER_01
No, you ve barely talked about it.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
10
SPEAKER_00
But they were going through the unique intelligence of primates and how it developed.
10
SPEAKER_00
And first of all, what they noticed, the more members of a group that a primate has, the bigger their neocortex is.
10
SPEAKER_00
So first they just saw like, okay, well, there s this very obvious correlation between how smart they have to be and how many members of the group there are.
10
SPEAKER_01
Interesting, okay.
10
SPEAKER_00
And then they were studying, doing all these experiments and they kind of accidentally discovered this, which is they would give, and they call this, I m not conscious of mind.
10
SPEAKER_00
I m so mad I just forgot this.
10
SPEAKER_00
They give a low ranking female hidden food.
10
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
10
SPEAKER_00
And the first time they give it to her, she shares it with the alpha, and the alpha eats all of it and doesn t share any with her.
10
SPEAKER_01
God, typical.
10
SPEAKER_00
So the next time they give her this hidden food, she waits until the alpha eats it.
10
SPEAKER_00
The alpha turns and goes elsewhere, and then she eats it, but then the alpha realizes when he turns that she then goes and gets her hidden food.
10
SPEAKER_01
How does he know that?
10
SPEAKER_01
He smells her breath?
10
SPEAKER_00
Because he caught her maybe finishing the end of it.
10
SPEAKER_01
Oh, she s so stupid.
10
SPEAKER_00
So then she figured out if she walked away from the hidden food, the alpha would follow her over there.
10
SPEAKER_00
And then when he got distracted, she d come back to the hidden food, which he then figured out.
10
SPEAKER_00
So then he figured out to walk the opposite way that she, but what all of this demonstrates is they have the ability to understand what you re thinking and what your intentions are.
10
SPEAKER_00
And then it s all this intelligence has sprung out of
10
SPEAKER_00
deep politicking that we are, you know, we have these varying levels of status, but we are able to read other people s intentions and prepare for them and outmaneuver them.
10
SPEAKER_00
And it s all this Machiavellian shit.
10
SPEAKER_00
So it s like, when you realize that the very basis of the intelligence was either to deceive people or detect deception,
10
SPEAKER_00
In some weird way, you got to give us a little bit of a pass.
10
SPEAKER_00
Like that s what the name of the game is.
10
SPEAKER_00
That s why we re even smart to begin with.
10
SPEAKER_00
So it s like, of course our default is deception and assuming deception and trying to read people s intentions.
10
SPEAKER_00
Like that s how it all started.
10
SPEAKER_00
And we re like trying to transcend it in a world of abundance.
10
SPEAKER_00
where people don t really need to deceive one another.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, wow, that s bizarre.
10
SPEAKER_00
But that s like a big signifier of a certain kind of intelligence that you can know what s going on in another animal s head.
10
SPEAKER_01
I wonder if over a hundred years, 200 years, if the neocortex will get bigger because of social media, because of the internet, because now we know everyone, like now our circle, our social circle and the people that we re interacting with is unlimited.
10
SPEAKER_00
Well, there s two really weird things happening though.
10
SPEAKER_00
There is that, like a unified culture of 7 billion people, which is very bizarre for us animals designed to live with 200.
10
SPEAKER_00
I think corresponding with that at the same time is actually a more, a tinier and tinier and tinier actual group of people that you interact with.
10
SPEAKER_00
So I think as people s online life has gotten bigger, their immediate real life, face-to-face, real status, really being at a birthday party where status shows itself, or really being at a job and not at your work from home.
10
SPEAKER_00
So in a weird way, this bizarre opposite thing s happening, which is we re actually becoming more solitary as we become more unicultural.
10
SPEAKER_00
So I don t know what effect that all has.
10
SPEAKER_00
Like mating will be the reward, right?
10
SPEAKER_00
Like who s gonna end up having the most children?
10
SPEAKER_01
Except that whole rate is falling.
10
SPEAKER_01
People aren t even trying to.
10
SPEAKER_00
Well, there s like the last couple of weeks have been like article after article about America s projections.
10
SPEAKER_00
We ve already plateaued, basically, and we re going to be on the decline.
10
SPEAKER_00
It s pretty significant when I read the projections.
10
SPEAKER_00
It was like, if we don t allow immigration, it had like four graphs in the New York Times or lines on a chart.
10
SPEAKER_00
And one was like, we have a really loose immigration policy.
10
SPEAKER_00
And then basically we shut the borders.
10
SPEAKER_00
If we were to shut the borders, I think our population was scheduled to fall to like 200 million by 2050, some really near date that we would go from 330 million down to 200 million.
10
SPEAKER_00
So we lost over a third of our population.
10
SPEAKER_00
That s our GDP, all that stuff.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and competing with countries that have young populations.
10
SPEAKER_00
India.
10
SPEAKER_00
That s right.
10
SPEAKER_00
Paris.
10
SPEAKER_00
Brown skin.
10
SPEAKER_00
Talking about my brown skin.
10
SPEAKER_01
Leon Bridges.
10
SPEAKER_00
Leon Bridges.
10
SPEAKER_01
Leon Bridges  song.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh God.
10
SPEAKER_01
Okay, anyway, so yeah, you were saying- Intelligence, deception, gossip.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you had said something you regretted, and I think we need to check ourselves, but of course we re gonna have the thought, it s okay to have the thought, but then the second thought should be like, oh man, that was not necessary, or I don t really feel that way.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, why am I, I mean, just the middle, like what hit me was like,
10
SPEAKER_00
Why would I take pleasure in that?
10
SPEAKER_00
That s just not a good side of me.
10
SPEAKER_00
I m not proud of that side that would take pleasure in someone else.
10
SPEAKER_01
But knowing that I m not proud of that will stop you.
10
SPEAKER_01
The comments and things like that.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh, the comments.
10
SPEAKER_01
If you have that train of thinking where you have a mean thought, but then you think that I m not proud of that thought, that s not the best side of me, then you probably won t share it.
10
SPEAKER_00
Have you ever written a nasty comment?
10
SPEAKER_01
Never.
10
SPEAKER_01
I mean, knock on wood.
10
SPEAKER_01
But I, no, I don t.
10
SPEAKER_01
I don t.
10
SPEAKER_01
I don t.
10
SPEAKER_00
Right.
10
SPEAKER_01
I don t get pleasure from that though.
10
SPEAKER_00
Right, right.
10
SPEAKER_00
I ve never gone into a comment section and let it rip.
10
SPEAKER_00
But on Twitter, I was a little too active on Twitter where I would disagree with people who posted stuff.
10
SPEAKER_00
But that one, I don t know why that one felt different.
10
SPEAKER_00
This is why I laughed.
10
SPEAKER_00
I am so easily ensnared.
10
SPEAKER_00
I have to recognize my own limits.
10
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s important.
10
SPEAKER_00
A man s got to know his limitations.
10
SPEAKER_00
Clint Eastwood, Leon Bridges, liberal arts education, Hellenic studies.
10
SPEAKER_01
Well, when we were off air, we also accidentally started talking about fashion shows.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
10
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
10
SPEAKER_00
There we go.
10
SPEAKER_00
And you very much want to go to one.
10
SPEAKER_01
So bad.
10
SPEAKER_01
I ve had a few opportunities.
11
SPEAKER_01
Opportunities that I but I haven t been able to make it to New York right now when you imagine yourself sitting there Yeah, how do you imagine yourself feeling?
11
SPEAKER_01
I am gonna be self-conscious Okay, cuz I know how I ll feel I ll literally be thinking everyone in here is like why is that guy in here?
11
SPEAKER_01
He s got no fashion
11
SPEAKER_00
No, they would be like, yeah, you re a famous person.
11
SPEAKER_00
Famous people go to that.
11
SPEAKER_01
Do they get a pass?
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I mean.
11
SPEAKER_01
But what would I be wearing this?
11
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no, no, no, no.
11
SPEAKER_01
It d be even worse though if I tried to look fashionable.
11
SPEAKER_00
No, you can t, you re not allowed to go in your regular clothes.
11
SPEAKER_00
Like you would beforehand go to, like if it was Burberry.
11
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_01
I don t know what they re doing.
11
SPEAKER_00
If it was the row, men s.
11
SPEAKER_01
Let s keep it to Burberry because I wear a little bit of Burberry.
11
SPEAKER_00
I know, I just, I don t think they, I haven t- Let s pretend they do it though.
11
SPEAKER_01
They do fashion shows.
11
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_00
Then you, they would either send you stuff or your stylist and then you would- I d have to get a stylist.
11
SPEAKER_00
And then they d fit, you know, you d wear Burberry to the show.
11
SPEAKER_00
You don t just like wear your jeans.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you can t wear your own clothes there.
11
SPEAKER_01
Interesting.
11
SPEAKER_00
Well, not if you re a famous person.
11
SPEAKER_00
I don t, and everyone there is.
11
SPEAKER_01
Well, can you be a famous person and just go without being invited by them?
11
SPEAKER_01
No, you have to be invited.
11
SPEAKER_01
I see why you want to go so bad.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, of course.
11
SPEAKER_00
It s such a badge of honor.
11
SPEAKER_00
And I told you about the Rose show, they had those pencils I bought.
11
SPEAKER_01
The only thing I can relate to is private track days on the motorcycle track.
11
SPEAKER_01
Like Yamaha will have one.
11
SPEAKER_01
You can t bring your Suzuki to that day.
11
SPEAKER_00
Right.
11
SPEAKER_01
It s disrespectful.
11
SPEAKER_00
Of course.
11
SPEAKER_01
Now I have.
11
SPEAKER_00
Oh, no.
11
SPEAKER_01
Well, I ll tell you what, because I had this bike built.
11
SPEAKER_01
Right.
11
SPEAKER_01
And you can t tell what it is.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
11
SPEAKER_01
All it has is that it has the frame and the motor, but all that s been worked on.
11
SPEAKER_01
And then all the visible stuff, the suspension and stuff is all aftermarket stuff.
11
SPEAKER_01
And then it has a unique fairing to it.
11
SPEAKER_01
So no, you couldn t look at this bike and say it was a Kawasaki.
11
SPEAKER_01
But I have taken my race bike to a Yamaha event, but I ve asked them.
11
SPEAKER_01
I m like, I don t feel good about this, but I would like to bring my new race bike.
11
SPEAKER_01
And they re like, man, there s nothing on it, right?
11
SPEAKER_01
But I guess that s the only thing in my life that I can relate to is like showing up to a Kawasaki track day with a Yamaha or vice versa, which is a no-no.
11
SPEAKER_01
You re biting the hand that s feeding you.
11
SPEAKER_01
It s disrespectful.
11
SPEAKER_00
I think you can t.
11
SPEAKER_00
I don t think they ll let you in if you come in
11
SPEAKER_01
with a bunch of Tommy Hilfiger stuff with like the logos all over it.
11
SPEAKER_01
Polo sweatshirt with like LaCosta.
11
SPEAKER_00
Oh, no.
11
SPEAKER_00
Also, that s how you pronounce it.
11
SPEAKER_01
What do you say?
11
SPEAKER_00
LaCoste.
11
SPEAKER_01
That s probably right.
11
SPEAKER_00
Do you know how to, well, this is, no, it s not even a fun game with you cause you re not fashion.
11
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
11
SPEAKER_01
But spell it.
11
SPEAKER_00
L O E W E. Do you know how that s pronounced?
11
SPEAKER_01
L O E L O E W E. The home improvement store?
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
Lowe s.
11
SPEAKER_00
Lowe s.
11
SPEAKER_00
Lowe s.
11
SPEAKER_01
Why I didn t ask.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
11
SPEAKER_01
Sorry, back to my mom.
11
SPEAKER_01
She was telling a story about going to Whistler s.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh, and that time I was going to go skiing at Whistler s and I was up there.
11
SPEAKER_01
As a mom of all the things you pluralize, I don t know why that one seems the most insane.
11
SPEAKER_00
You don t like it.
11
SPEAKER_01
Well, it s Whistler.
11
SPEAKER_00
I know.
11
SPEAKER_01
It s like Whistler s, there s like multiple mountains or something.
11
SPEAKER_00
But this is so you.
11
SPEAKER_00
It s so something you do.
11
SPEAKER_01
Also, we have the same cough.
11
SPEAKER_01
I mean, listen to her cough all week and I m like, my God, this is what it s like being around me.
11
SPEAKER_01
I have fucking endlessly fucking chest congestion.
11
SPEAKER_01
Poor gal.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh, mom.
11
SPEAKER_01
She has to cough all the time and she s the only person I know that has to, well, weekly too.
11
SPEAKER_01
We cannot be more than three feet from a box of Kleenex at any point.
11
SPEAKER_01
Right.
11
SPEAKER_01
Drainage, drainage.
11
SPEAKER_00
I asked you that on the flight to India.
11
SPEAKER_01
Where are your tissues?
11
SPEAKER_00
I had some questions about your tissues.
11
SPEAKER_00
Do you always keep some in your pocket at all times just in case?
11
SPEAKER_01
I usually roll around town with two Kleenexes in my pocket.
11
SPEAKER_01
But if I m gonna fly, I m like, I ll have the napkin that the drink comes on, and then I go into the toilet and grab a couple of those tissues.
11
SPEAKER_01
They re the worst.
11
SPEAKER_01
Whoever makes that decision, I wanna somehow torture them.
11
SPEAKER_01
I wanna give them a cold, and I wanna set them in a room with just those tissues.
11
SPEAKER_01
And then like 12 hours in when all their nostrils are scabbed and bleeding, I m gonna say, oh, how does it feel now?
11
SPEAKER_00
Wow, that s vindictive.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s sadistic.
11
SPEAKER_01
But anyways, Whistler s and Tommy Hilfiger.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh, Louie, Lowell s.
11
SPEAKER_00
Luwewe.
11
SPEAKER_01
Luwewe.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
Is that a German brand?
11
SPEAKER_00
I think it s Spanish.
11
SPEAKER_01
Because how do we get a W into a V other than Spanish?
11
SPEAKER_01
I think it s Spanish.
11
SPEAKER_00
It might not be Spanish, I don t know, but I think it is.
11
SPEAKER_01
Now what s weird about the V in German, you go Volkswagen, but they re already using a V at the beginning for Volks, but then they have W for wagon.
11
SPEAKER_01
We would say Volkswagen.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
But they say Volkswagen.
11
SPEAKER_01
So it s like, you re already using the V. Right, why wouldn t it be W at the top?
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh yes, W at the beginning and in the middle, or V and V, but mixing it up like that.
11
SPEAKER_00
This is confusing, yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
It is from Madrid, speak.
11
SPEAKER_00
Okay, yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh, okay.
11
SPEAKER_01
I need to know this.
11
SPEAKER_00
I hope I get invited to Laueve s show.
11
SPEAKER_01
That s the one you wanna go to?
11
SPEAKER_00
No, I wanna go to The Row.
11
SPEAKER_00
I wanna go to The Row, but it s so exclusive.
11
SPEAKER_01
It is, what is it, five people in the audience?
11
SPEAKER_00
Well, at the last one, they said no cameras.
11
SPEAKER_01
Right, pencils only.
11
SPEAKER_00
Pencils that they provided.
11
SPEAKER_00
And I can tell them, I ll bring my own pencil, I bought some.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you got your own pencils.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_00
When I was doing my makeup videos, when I was in a rabbit hole, the guy who I was mainly watching, his name s Hung Van Gogh, he s Asian.
11
SPEAKER_00
He s amazing, like he did Jennifer Lawrence for the Oscars and everyone couldn t stop talking about how pretty she looked.
11
SPEAKER_00
He has really big clients.
11
SPEAKER_01
You are so girly, and I really like it, it s really fun.
11
SPEAKER_01
Vietnamese.
11
SPEAKER_00
Oh, Vietnamese.
11
SPEAKER_00
He has a very strong accent.
11
SPEAKER_01
He s from Vietnam.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_00
He s not American.
11
SPEAKER_01
Right.
11
SPEAKER_00
And he has a very strong accent.
11
SPEAKER_00
And I always feel it s like, it makes, it breaks my heart a little because he s always like, I know people can t understand me.
11
SPEAKER_01
That s yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
That s sad.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_00
But my mom s not from Vietnam.
11
SPEAKER_01
My mom s from Michigan.
11
SPEAKER_00
I m not talking about that.
11
SPEAKER_00
I m totally pivoted.
11
SPEAKER_00
He says pencil like that.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh, interesting.
11
SPEAKER_00
And then it made me wonder, was that woman Asian?
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh no, she was Sheman?
11
SPEAKER_01
That s definitely European.
11
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, so it drives you nuts about the plural, but even though you like to plural things.
11
SPEAKER_01
I think when I do it, I think I m doing it intentionally to be funny.
11
SPEAKER_01
Back to intentions.
11
SPEAKER_01
If you were a monkey, you d be able to figure this out.
11
SPEAKER_01
Like what s one you think I pluralize that I don t mean to?
11
SPEAKER_01
Like I ll say O Reilly s, but that s to be funny because Erin really thought it was O Reilly s and that s a Michigan thing.
11
SPEAKER_00
I guess that s true, I don t know any.
11
SPEAKER_01
And I mispronounce words.
11
SPEAKER_00
Right.
11
SPEAKER_01
A lot.
11
SPEAKER_01
But the pluralizing, I don t know.
11
SPEAKER_01
The primary, she still thinks my favorite teacher was Mr. Woods.
11
SPEAKER_00
Oh, and it was Wood.
11
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, Mr. Wood.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
But she almost has confused me.
11
SPEAKER_01
Like a lot of times I think his name is Mr. Wood.
11
SPEAKER_01
I actually have to remember.
11
SPEAKER_01
No, that s what my mom calls him.
11
SPEAKER_00
But okay, your inclination is to call him Seth Meyer.
11
SPEAKER_00
I ve heard you say that a few times.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I actually take the S off.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
11
SPEAKER_01
Interesting.
11
SPEAKER_01
I think maybe because I m hypervigilant on not putting S s on things.
11
SPEAKER_00
Oh God, this is a lot to juggle.
11
SPEAKER_00
Okay, we haven t done any facts yet.
11
SPEAKER_00
We have five minutes.
11
SPEAKER_00
Let s do them.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, okay.
11
SPEAKER_00
There aren t that many.
11
SPEAKER_00
She brought us Tim Tams that were so delicious.
11
SPEAKER_01
I haven t gotten to have them, but I did find out they re gluten-free versions.
11
SPEAKER_01
So I... I know, but... You re nervous.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, because she brought them from Australia and she said, you know, these aren t like the kinds from Gelson s.
11
SPEAKER_00
These are better.
11
SPEAKER_00
And they are.
11
SPEAKER_01
What if I were to order them from Australia and have them mailed?
11
SPEAKER_00
Okay, well, we ll see.
11
SPEAKER_00
They are so good.
11
SPEAKER_00
But I did look up like, because you know, everyone loves English chocolate.
11
SPEAKER_00
David always brags about New Zealand chocolate being so much better.
11
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, what s the difference?
11
SPEAKER_01
Just the dairy s different?
11
SPEAKER_00
A British chocolate typically contains more cocoa solids.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh, okay.
11
SPEAKER_00
Which contributes to a richer chocolate flavor.
11
SPEAKER_01
So I m wrong, I would have thought that the dairy itself was creamier.
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I think we thought maybe it was the milk, but it s about the cocoa solids.
11
Oh, wow.
11
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, they re incredible.
11
SPEAKER_00
And I highly recommend.
11
SPEAKER_00
Was Russell Crowe and Rocky Horror Picture Show?
11
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, early days.
11
SPEAKER_01
Wait, no, he s not old enough to be in the original, is he?
11
SPEAKER_00
Well, 24 year old Russell Crowe struts his stuff in Rocky Horror.
11
SPEAKER_01
Oh, so it was like probably a production of it.
11
SPEAKER_00
1988 Australian production.
11
SPEAKER_01
There we go.
11
SPEAKER_00
So that s not a Ridge.
11
SPEAKER_01
That s not the original Rocky Horror.
12
SPEAKER_01
1975.
12
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
Year of my birth, year of Microsoft, year of the 911 turbo.
12
SPEAKER_00
What a year.
12
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
12
75.
12
SPEAKER_00
That s a big year.
12
SPEAKER_01
Are you allowed to pack fireworks in your suitcase?
12
SPEAKER_01
No.
12
SPEAKER_00
No way.
12
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no.
12
SPEAKER_00
No way.
12
SPEAKER_00
That s a big no, no.
12
SPEAKER_01
Check or carry on.
12
SPEAKER_00
No.
12
SPEAKER_00
It shouldn t be on an airplane.
12
SPEAKER_00
Have you ever seen any footage of when firework factories go up?
12
No.
12
SPEAKER_00
There s some epic ones.
12
SPEAKER_00
It s everything you would expect.
12
SPEAKER_00
It s like the most incendiary, humongous,
12
SPEAKER_00
But colors everywhere, pops, bangs, I mean, it s- God, that sounds kind of pretty.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, if you re at a safe distance.
12
SPEAKER_00
That s the problem, it s always hard to know what is a safe distance when those things are popping off, as I demonstrated on New Year s two years ago.
12
SPEAKER_01
That s right.
12
SPEAKER_01
Okay, malaria, because she had malaria.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
Timely that she had- I guess we re out of the window.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I finished, I took all my pills appropriately.
12
SPEAKER_01
You re supposed to take them seven days after.
12
SPEAKER_00
We ve been home from Austin for 17 days, and we had been home four days before that.
12
SPEAKER_00
So 21, three weeks, I would ve gotten it by now.
12
SPEAKER_01
Okay, yeah, you stopped taking them.
12
SPEAKER_00
I got bored of it, really.
12
SPEAKER_01
I know, okay, I cannot.
12
SPEAKER_01
I cannot, every time I took one, the rest of those days, I was like, why can t he just keep taking?
12
SPEAKER_01
You already took it for so long.
12
SPEAKER_00
I know, two full weeks.
12
SPEAKER_01
And you took it for the annoying time to take it.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I know.
12
SPEAKER_00
I think it was because we finished the trip in Delhi and there wasn t mosquitoes like there had been in Hyderabad.
12
SPEAKER_01
I know, it s just like this harkens back to our character.
12
SPEAKER_01
You re right.
12
SPEAKER_01
And we did it, you did it.
12
SPEAKER_00
I know.
12
SPEAKER_00
But I ve done this too with antibiotics.
12
SPEAKER_00
You know how they say like finish your pack of antibiotics.
12
SPEAKER_01
You don t finish?
12
SPEAKER_00
There have been times I haven t.
12
SPEAKER_00
I know, I m sorry.
12
SPEAKER_00
It s not recommended.
12
SPEAKER_00
I hope no one looks up to me and emulates this behavior.
12
SPEAKER_00
But you re right, I did it for whatever, 12 days or something.
12
SPEAKER_00
Why not just do the next four?
12
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
12
SPEAKER_00
But I just decided I have the same weird thing.
12
SPEAKER_00
I can admit it s completely illogical, but like I won t take a statin.
12
SPEAKER_00
I don t know why.
12
SPEAKER_00
Like I ve been prescribed a statin for my cholesterol.
12
SPEAKER_00
It s just a dumb little pill.
12
SPEAKER_00
I take a bunch of other little pills in the morning.
12
SPEAKER_00
I just, I don t have a good explanation other than I just, I m not gonna do it.
12
SPEAKER_00
You re so stubborn.
12
SPEAKER_01
I mean, the statin, I get a little bit of your, that s adding a new thing into the mix.
12
SPEAKER_01
This is not, this is just not seeing something through.
12
SPEAKER_01
I cannot relate.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
You know, it s like, I got the C, I know I m going to pass and I just quit.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
And then you, you went all the way for that A+.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
You got a big fat A+.
12
SPEAKER_00
But look, there s a difference between Summa and Magna.
12
SPEAKER_00
We ve known this, we ve known this has existed for a while.
12
SPEAKER_00
I guess.
12
SPEAKER_00
I got a measly 3.7.
12
SPEAKER_01
It s just, I think it s like one of the questions, like the five fingers.
12
SPEAKER_01
Are you the type of person, if you are on malaria pills for 12 days and you get home and there s only four more days left and you re supposed to finish them all, do you or don t you?
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I don t, I don t.
12
SPEAKER_00
I m acknowledging it s stupid.
12
SPEAKER_00
That s all I can give you.
12
SPEAKER_01
I know, I just find it interesting and funny.
12
SPEAKER_00
Well, do you have a theory?
12
SPEAKER_00
I don t really even have a theory.
12
SPEAKER_00
I was just like, I didn t want to think about it again.
12
SPEAKER_00
My theory is... Like, I m done, we re going to South By, I gotta prepare for Conor McGregor.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, there s a few things I think.
12
SPEAKER_01
One is you re a bit more reckless with your body than I am.
12
SPEAKER_00
Uh-huh, sure.
12
SPEAKER_01
Also, as soon as you think something doesn t matter,
12
SPEAKER_00
Uh-huh, oh yeah, once I ve... You won t arbitrarily do anything.
12
SPEAKER_00
That s really, you re really getting close here.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s a bullseye.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, because to you, you re just like, at this point, it s arbitrary.
12
SPEAKER_00
The second I think something s arbitrary, something is arbitrary, I can t do it.
12
SPEAKER_01
You can t do it.
12
SPEAKER_00
Even if it costs me nothing.
12
SPEAKER_01
I know.
12
SPEAKER_01
It s really fascinating.
12
SPEAKER_00
It s shameful.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
12
SPEAKER_00
Well, you watched it on the airplane, the shades up and down, like sometimes it s required and sometimes it s forbidden.
12
SPEAKER_00
And I just go, well, then the whole thing s bullshit.
12
SPEAKER_01
And you don t like it.
12
SPEAKER_00
And I won t participate in it because it s, it s busy work.
12
SPEAKER_00
It s like, it s just busy work.
12
SPEAKER_01
I hate busy work.
12
SPEAKER_01
No one likes it, but it s like you just fucking do it.
12
SPEAKER_00
Some people don t mind it.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you just do it.
12
SPEAKER_01
This is life.
12
SPEAKER_01
You do busy work.
12
SPEAKER_01
You lift the shades when they say or close them.
12
SPEAKER_01
You finish your malaria pills just who cares.
12
SPEAKER_00
It s the right way to live, yeah.
12
SPEAKER_00
It is the right way to do things.
12
SPEAKER_01
I feel like, Rob, you re more like me.
12
SPEAKER_01
You d probably finish them, right?
12
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, absolutely.
12
SPEAKER_00
Yes, absolutely.
12
SPEAKER_00
He s like, can I have more?
12
SPEAKER_00
It d be crazy not to.
12
SPEAKER_01
Can I take them for the rest of my life?
12
SPEAKER_00
I took them just because I was around you guys.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
All right, well, we are late for our next event.
12
SPEAKER_00
Great.
12
SPEAKER_00
Was there only Tim Tams?
12
SPEAKER_01
No, Malaria, Russell Crowe, Fireworks.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah, that s great.
12
SPEAKER_00
That s a full boat.
12
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that was it.
12
SPEAKER_00
Well, if you had one more, that d be a full boat.
12
SPEAKER_01
Well, I mean, I guess it s important to say, is it important to say?
12
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
12
SPEAKER_01
Obviously, when we have people on this show and they re telling their story, that s their truth.
12
SPEAKER_01
So like, you know, this one in particular involves other people.
12
SPEAKER_00
Oh, right, right, yeah.
12
SPEAKER_01
So, I don t know what to say about that.
12
SPEAKER_00
Well, I think I could go further than that, maybe if this is even worth doing, but on some level for us, we have to defer to a publisher.
12
SPEAKER_00
Like a publisher has lawyers, they ve vetted things, like to print things and, you know, open themselves up.
12
SPEAKER_00
to be liable is why people are so worried about the trustworthiness of the news eroding.
12
SPEAKER_00
It s like, we need trusted sources.
12
SPEAKER_00
And so in this case, I guess I defer to that.
12
SPEAKER_00
I think if maybe I was talking to someone, they said something that was really quite damaging to someone else, and there was no real proof of that, and there had been no vetting, I would have to evaluate that.
12
SPEAKER_00
I don t think I d be, I wouldn t wanna participate in someone just,
12
SPEAKER_00
bringing someone down without some sense that there was some proof, I guess.
12
SPEAKER_00
But this, I m just gonna say, to me, it was all about the publishers.
12
SPEAKER_00
I read it in the book.
12
SPEAKER_00
It has been vetted and has been opened up to liability.
12
SPEAKER_00
I guess I m gonna trust them.
12
SPEAKER_01
All right, well, that s that.
12
SPEAKER_01
Bye, I love you.