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My name is Lee Hawkins.
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I ve been a journalist for over 25 years.
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On my new podcast, What Happened in Alabama, I get answers to some of the hardest questions about how things came to be for many black Americans and the truth that must come before any reconciliation can happen.
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I investigate my family history, my upbringing in Minnesota, and my father s painful nightmares about growing up in Alabama.
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What Happened in Alabama is a new series confronting the cycles of trauma for myself, my family, and for many Black Americans.
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Listen now.
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Hello there, it s your friend Tig here.
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A little while ago I asked you to write to let me in on some of your brand new beginnings.
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Here are a couple that I really enjoyed reading.
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Linda writes, after living my first 65 years in one place, I sold a business and properties and moved 200 miles to be closer to my children.
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I love being closer to the kids.
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My new town is awesome, and in the last six months, I have made my new place feel like home.
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A new beginning indeed.
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Congratulations on the move, Linda.
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That s actually truly so exciting.
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Evan in Utah writes, I m an ICU doctor and I m cutting back on my hours.
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I m going to spend more time with my husband, dog, and three kids ages 7-14.
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We have a few road trips planned to visit friends and family.
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Evan, trading and work for road trips sounds like an excellent choice and I hope to cross paths with you out there on the road.
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Riegel in LA writes, about five years ago, I quit a soul-dissolving executive job at a huge media company.
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Last month, I graduated as a newly-minted visual effects artist, and I m about to embark on the life I fantasized about.
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I want your listeners to know, especially women later in life, that the wild hair, impossible, silly dream that you had in your 20s can still come true.
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Absolutely they can, and congrats to you on actually doing something about it.
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A lot of people don t, so I cannot encourage people enough to take a step like that.
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Thanks for all the messages you sent in.
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They really filled me with hope for our collective future.
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On the subject of hope, I hope you re all enjoying your springs out there and finding new beginnings yourselves.
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Also, come laugh out loud in the same room as me at one of my live shows.
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The Hello Again Tour continues.
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TigNotaro.com is where you need to go to buy your tickets.
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Let s start the show now.
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Oh my God, Tig, are we getting relationship advice right now?
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Is that what s happening?
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This is not what I expected.
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Why not?
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First of all, I m honored to be asked this question.
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This is a lot of responsibility, so I want to get it right.
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Yeah.
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It s all resting on you.
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Okay.
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This is Don t Ask Tig.
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I m Tig Notaro, asking you to live long, prosper, and stop asking me for advice.
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With me now is a director, producer, and screenwriter.
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His many credits include Transformers, The Mummy, Mission Impossible 3, the new Showtime series, The Man Who Fell to Earth, and Star Trek Discovery.
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Alex Kurtzman, my friend, welcome to Don t Ask Tig.
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Hi, Tig.
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It s good to see your mug.
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Yours too.
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It s been too long.
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I know.
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We have known each other for quite a while.
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We worked for Sam Raimi s company.
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I guess it was Sam Raimi and Rob Tappert s company.
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Renaissance Pictures?
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Yes.
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1996, I m going to say.
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I came in, I think, in 98.
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Maybe.
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98.
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Yeah.
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It was so crazy because I don t know, 20 years after knowing you, you and I met for a couple of hours and my world was open to the Star Trek universe in a way I never imagined.
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Is that a dream that you had had or was it a dream that just kind of stumbled upon existence?
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Yeah.
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I mean, you have so many things going on and that s just one of the many.
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You mean to do Star Trek?
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Yeah.
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No, you know, I was a fan of Star Trek, but this for me started during the 2009 movie.
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So I did two of the movies and then now here we are five television shows later.
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And I was definitely a fan of it, but I would never have been able to define myself as a Trekker or a Trekkie or however somebody wants to self-identify.
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And it wasn t until I got into making the first movie and then did this incredibly deep dive into the world of Star Trek that I fell in love with it.
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And each iteration of Trek has given me some new insight or gift into the kind of just the miracle that the whole universe of Star Trek is.
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It s been a really incredible experience, but I m also fortunate to be surrounded by a lot of people who have really identified as Trekkers or Trekkies since they were little kids.
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There s just an army of people working, not just the writers or the directors, but production designers and costume designers and everybody who s working on it can legitimately say that they re a fan.
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I was a fan when I was very little and had the action figures and whatever, but I didn t follow it over the years.
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But now it s just a part of every which way I turn, even the little part that I have in it.
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I m curious, what made you see Tig in space?
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such a good question because it was the first episode of Discovery that I directed.
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And I had like this instinct to bring in a character who was going to be the engineer.
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I don t know, sometimes like your subconscious just tells you a thing and you were just the first person that came into my head and I hadn t talked to you in a long time.
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And I remember reaching out and being like, I don t know.
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And then you came to my office and we just sat down and like caught up for three hours and had a great time.
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And
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you were like, yeah, I ll do it.
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I was like, don t you want to read a script?
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And you were like, no, I ll do it.
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I truly thought it was going to be an episode or two.
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And what is this, the fourth season?
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I mean, it s crazy.
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And has your life been, I mean, you re famous for so many other things.
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How much of the trek of it all now is a part of your daily
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It all kind of swirls together.
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People tell me all the time that they never followed Trek, never imagined watching it, and now they watch it because I m on it.
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Even finding myself hosting that Trek panel at Comic-Con was just such a funny moment for me.
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And I ll put it on for my kids, and they, of course, want me to fast forward past anything I m in so they can watch the spaceship fly through space.
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That s their favorite part.
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But it s really a fun world to be a part of.
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And yeah, it s one part of my world, but it s one part of your world as well.
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You have the man who fell to Earth.
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How did that come about?
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It had been offered to me and to my writing partner, Jenny Lumet, and little did we know how cathartic and healing and amazing it would be to dive into it.
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It was really hard to figure out because we wanted to honor the spirit of the people who made the film, and obviously Walter, who wrote the novel, but we knew that it couldn t be those things.
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It needed to be something new and something different.
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Otherwise, why do it?
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And I think we found ourselves looking around the world and going, I don t understand what s happening.
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I just don t get it.
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I don t understand how there s so much division across the board.
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I mean, I do understand it, but the way that we all have to carry it day to day, no matter what side of the political line you re on, it s just a lot to carry.
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And seeing what was happening to our planet and to the fact that we were sort of never more connected in terms of our technology, but never further apart as a species.
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So we just started writing this thing that was kind of an exploration of
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So what would it be like from somebody on the total outside who came up into our planet, into our world for the first time with the objectivity of someone who kind of lived on a planet that was like ours many years in the future that had gone south because of choices that they had made, right?
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So here we are at this inflection point where the choices that we make now are going to determine whether we re here or not.
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And what would it be like to be somebody who carried that knowledge into this
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how much you re taking for granted, because this could all be gone very soon.
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And it was interesting to sort of be writing from that point of view, and then the pandemic hit.
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And in the middle of the pandemic was George Floyd and just this kind of global reckoning and awakening that in this particular case, you don t want to be writing about the zeitgeist, but we ended up writing, we were already writing about all of those things.
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And I m just curious, your own personal thoughts and feelings about, essentially, will we be here in the future?
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I mean, where do you fall with hope?
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I mean, I guess it depends on what day you ask me, right?
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Like, as is probably the case for everybody, I think I do fundamentally believe in people.
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You know, if you look at Star Trek mythology, right, what Star Trek mythology tells you is that in the 1900s, late 1900s, right, but let s just say generally around that period of time, there came a point on planet Earth where everyone s disagreements became so extreme that there was a nuclear war, and that was World War III, and then roughly 90 years later, society started rebuilding itself, but it had to rebuild itself out of the shadow of what had happened, knowing, well, we can t let that happen again.
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And part of me thinks that that may end up turning out to be prophetically true.
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We are definitely at a crossroads of some kind as a species.
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And probably in our lifetime, we re going to begin to see the beginning of some change that s really, really seismic, but it s really going to be our kids that are going to be dealing with it.
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Which is, look, everybody has their, you know, what am I doing to help save things or try and do things?
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I feel like telling stories that inspire people to think a little differently about all of these issues, be it Man Who Felt the Earth or Star Trek or whatever, is what I can do.
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Star Trek gave people a roadmap to imagine a future where there are better angels won.
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Yeah.
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So people have to believe it s possible.
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So to your question, I think human beings are capable of amazing things.
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And ultimately, we re going to find our level at some point, you know, or we re going to keep trying to.
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It s good to hear.
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I think it s helpful to hear and it s comforting to hear from somebody like you.
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Now on this podcast, we get a lot of requests for creative advice from our listeners.
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And do you have any advice to people out there who are trying to find their voice?
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It s interesting because what it meant to find your voice for our generation versus what it is to find your voice for, let s say, my son s or your children s generation, my son s generation, is very different because the internet has made it possible for absolutely everybody to have a voice and to be quite famous, actually, without all the things that were required in our generation to be seen or heard.
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And I think that no matter what, the system is often designed to sort of break you down.
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Like whatever is unique or original or special about your voice tends to get whittled away in some form.
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If you re working for any kind of corporation, large or small.
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everything starts to get geared toward the middle.
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So the question that you have to always ask yourself is, how much do I believe in what I m doing?
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And am I being authentic and true to myself?
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You know, that s a lifetime journey.
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It takes a long time to know where your line is and what feels right to you and what feels authentic.
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And what feels authentic to you at one phase of your life is gonna be very different in another.
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don t let all of those voices dilute your belief that you have something to say and that you can do it.
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Many people told me that I couldn t.
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Many people told many people that I know who are very successful that they couldn t.
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And if they listen, then they wouldn t have.
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I heard it many times myself.
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Right.
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I mean, I m sure I can t, you know, I can t even imagine how many people, I mean, so you do something that for me is like impossible, right?
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You get up there on a stage and you talk to people,
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You do so many impossible things, sir.
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But like the, I m going to go out there and be funny and stand up.
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And like, it s part of why I love you so much, but you have this amazing ability to balance the, just the incredible comedy with these very personal stories.
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I mean, you re, you re obviously pulling a lot of your comedy out of your personal stories.
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A lot of people don t come from that place of, of truth.
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Like they can be very clever, but they re not necessarily being very truthful.
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Well, those are kind words, but I still think what you do is impossible.
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I truly don t get it.
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Now, Alex, last week was May the 4th, also known as Star Wars Day.
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For people who might confuse Star Wars and Star Trek, what do you feel like is the main difference between the two franchises?
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Oh, what a great question.
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Look, as a fan of both franchises, whatever my response is going to be is not a knock on one or the other because I don t feel that way.
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I think that the difference for me with Trek is that Star Wars is very much about space battles.
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pulling out a lightsaber and having, you know, over this almost theological differences, right, as represented by the force.
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Star Trek is about diplomacy and war as an effort of last resort.
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And that s real different in terms of the way that Star Wars and Star Trek, in terms of how those stories are told, you know.
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It s, Star Trek is about
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science being the solution before the weapons are the solution.
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It s about the ingenuity of a bridge crew, be it Reno in engineering or any of the other characters, figuring out a way to bring their little piece of the puzzle together so that the puzzle fits, usually in less time than anyone has to actually do it.
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And ultimately,
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I think it is always about, to get back to your earlier question, and this is really all Roddenberry, just a fundamental optimism that the future is bright and can be bright.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Does that answer your question?
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Yeah, I think it s a great answer.
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I want to know though, does Star Trek have its own day?
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Yes, we do have a Star Trek day.
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September 8th is the date, and it s one day after my birthday.
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We should just move it to my birthday, right?
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Well, maybe we can start a petition to move it to your birthday.
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You ll be the only one who signs that petition.
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You have to sign it, too.
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I ll sign it, too.
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Yeah, yeah.
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All right, Alex, I ve got listeners that need our help.
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Are you ready to help me help them?
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Sure, sure.
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Our first question comes from a listener who is a fan of your work.
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Michael writes, Bridge to engineering, we have a crisis.
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I met the most amazing man over the internet.
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During our first in-person conversation, we had the most amazing Star Trek discussion, but I walked away bummed because he was moving to a different state the next day.
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We kept talking, and it s now three years later.
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He is the most emotionally intelligent, inquisitive, handsome, worldly, tech-savvy, sci-fi-loving, interesting and sensitive man I ve ever known.
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Now that the pandemic seems to be shifting, he seems to be out and about more and more.
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I m worried I m going to miss my chance.
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We have always kept it friendly, and I have never brought up any sort of feelings.
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I m planning to visit him in Portland, where he lives.
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Do I share my feelings before, during, or after this trip?
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What is this Trekkie to do?
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Um, okay.
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So my wife and I were best friends for 15 years before we got together.
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We met in high school.
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We were best friends and she was the barometer against which everybody was measured.
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And 15 years into our relationship, she was brave enough.
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One night at dinner, I was working on it.
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It was doing a rewrite on a movie in Mexico and I was going back and forth and we just happened to have dinner and we were sitting there and she had this moment of going, you know what?
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He could go to Mexico tomorrow.
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And he could meet the woman of his dreams, and that will be it.
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And I ll be there at his wedding as his best friend, and I ll be really happy for him, but I ll never have actually taken this leap into a thing.
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If she were telling the story, which she has now done many times.
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I m just paraphrasing her, right?
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And so that night she said to me,
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You know, she was the brave one.
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And had she not been the brave one, I don t know that I would have been brave enough to make that move, because it would have been so scary to me for a lot of the reasons that your listener described.
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And here we are now about to celebrate our 20th year of marriage with a child, right?
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Being brave is sort of the reason to be on the planet.
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And if Michael doesn t take the chance, Michael will always wonder what will happen if he had.
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And that s quite a thing to carry for the rest of your life.
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If he takes the chance and then it doesn t work, then at least Michael will know that he took the chance.
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And he s not living in secret about it.
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Yeah, you don t want to stay in limbo too long with anything, I think.
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And if you do, then it starts to kind of bleed into the territory of maybe you re not really wanting a relationship if you re just going to sit there and not do something.
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You have to move in one direction or the other.
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And what s the price of carrying that all the time?
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Like, that s an
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expensive thing to carry.
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You can be more quickly spending the rest of your life with this person, or you can be more quickly moving towards the right person.
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The right person.
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That s right.
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Just get out of that purgatory as quickly as you can.
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I know it s easier said than done.
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Oh, it s terrifying.
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Yeah.
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It s terrifying.
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Of course, it takes incredible courage to make that leap.
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Yeah, oh my gosh, there s so many people that you come across in life, and in the moment, or during that time period, you think, this is the one for me, and oh my gosh, I couldn t possibly live without them.
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Sure.
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And I do feel so lucky to have the life that I have with Stephanie.
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I can t believe.
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I can t believe every wrong turn was the right turn that led me to her.
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And I m so thankful for all of that.
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But you can have one of those moments of it could feel like a wrong turn, but it s the right turn, whichever way it goes.
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But purgatory isn t, that s not the place to be, Michael.
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So as a Trekkie, I feel like you really should consider Alex s advice here.
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Alex, don t go anywhere.
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We ll take a quick break and then we ll be back with more questions.
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a six billion dollar con.
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It didn t take long for it to spread like wildfire.
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You got to take a look at this really crazy gold stock.
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A buddy of mine got in at a dime.
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Which destroyed lives and devastated communities.
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Every little town across the nation, people have shares in this.
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We lost everything.
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And to date, no one has been brought to justice.
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Somebody knows more than we know.
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The $6 billion gold scam from the BBC World Service and CBC.
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Search for the $6 billion gold scam wherever you get your podcasts.
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And we re back.
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Alex, this question was sent to us from the Midwest.
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It traveled to us all the way from the Midwest?
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Yeah, it traveled all the way to us.
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Scratchy in Chicago writes, Hi Tig, my partner s rough, dry hands are impacting our romantic time together.
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SPEAKER_03
Two years of pandemic-related hand sanitizer use has not been kind to them, and her scratchy touch turns me off.
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I ve tried to get her to apply lotion more often,
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or let me apply it more often, but her hands just won t soften up.
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SPEAKER_03
Do I tell her about this or do you recommend a product I can use to help with this problem?
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SPEAKER_03
Thank you.
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First of all, I m not doing a podcast to be recommending products for anybody s scratchy hands.
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But I feel like you got to tell this person if that s really the issue.
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But my gut is concerned that there s something deeper going on because
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coming at it from a place of compassion rather than like, listen, your dried hands are a real turnoff to me.
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You know, it s all in the delivery.
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I think that somebody might be more receptive if somebody came at them with, oh my gosh, your hands are, let me put this lotion on you.
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not make it, this is turning me off.
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How do you feel?
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I think the common theme between the last question and this question is being your authentic self with the person that you re with, right?
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SPEAKER_04
And so I agree with you that there s a lot of solutions to, a lot of very simple and easy and available solutions to how you help somebody.
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But what is it about?
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What is it really about?
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And if you re afraid to tell them,
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for some reason, then that s probably the real question is why is this thing getting in the way when it s such an easy thing to remedy?
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Yeah.
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It shouldn t carry that much weight because if I saw anybody s hands all ripped to shreds from hand sanitizer.
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SPEAKER_03
You just tell them.
1
SPEAKER_03
I would genuinely just be like, Oh my gosh, here, let s try this.
1
SPEAKER_03
Or I don t wear hand lotion, but let s find some that looks like it could.
1
SPEAKER_03
Does that hurt?
1
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_03
Let s figure this out.
1
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, I think that s right.
1
SPEAKER_04
And everybody over the last two years has had this problem.
1
SPEAKER_04
In fact, I m going to put on hand lotion right now because my hands are dry.
1
SPEAKER_03
What is the brand?
1
SPEAKER_03
Sam is his wife.
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SPEAKER_04
Now I m selling a brand, Tig.
1
SPEAKER_04
Am I even allowed to do that?
1
SPEAKER_03
Who cares?
1
SPEAKER_04
It s called Egyptian Magic, the Ancient Egyptian Secret All Natural Cream.
1
SPEAKER_04
It s an all-purpose skin cream.
1
SPEAKER_04
I ve had it on my desk for a while because my hands, as is the case with this question, often get dry from the... Hand sanitizer.
1
SPEAKER_04
Hand sanitizer.
1
SPEAKER_03
Well, there you go.
1
SPEAKER_03
We answered your question and we suggested a brand of lotion.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, which I was like, I m not suggesting brands of lotion, but I did.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_03
Scratchy, write us back and let us know if any of this helps.
1
SPEAKER_04
Good luck, Scratchy.
1
SPEAKER_03
Alex, you re a leader.
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You know that about yourself.
1
SPEAKER_03
You re a leader.
1
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You re a producer, a director.
1
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I m, of course, your leader, but you do lead some.
1
SPEAKER_04
Yes.
1
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I ll go anywhere you tell me to go.
1
SPEAKER_03
Well, this next question will lean on your particular expertise.
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Janice writes, hi Tig, I love your show and it s witty and sage advice.
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SPEAKER_03
I was wondering if you could help me out.
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I have been a supervisor for many years at my company and I feel most people fall into three general categories.
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leaders, followers, and team players.
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I am finding more and more new hires being onboarded who don t follow into these categories, but more into a group of, I ll do what I want when I want.
1
SPEAKER_03
Do you have any advice on how to deal with this group?
1
SPEAKER_03
I m at a loss to better motivate them.
1
SPEAKER_03
Thanks.
1
SPEAKER_04
That is a very complicated question with a lot of different tentacles, I think.
1
SPEAKER_03
Well, what s the answer, leader?
1
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Oh, boy.
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One of the first things.
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SPEAKER_03
Do you run into this?
1
SPEAKER_03
I m curious.
1
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Yeah, versions of it.
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I mean, I think, you know, some of it is generational.
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And I say that not in a bad way.
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I actually think it s a good thing.
1
SPEAKER_04
You know, I think our generation was raised in a much more abusive environment, much more abusive, where I was like, take as much abuse as possible.
1
SPEAKER_04
And hopefully one day after five years of taking that abuse, someone will deign to tell you about a promotion.
1
SPEAKER_04
And inherent in that,
1
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paradigm is this notion that you don t actually have value until somebody tells you that you do.
1
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And what I really love about my son s generation is that I think they re coming up saying, we have an inherent value.
1
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And a lot of the mistakes that your generation made, it s going to be on us to fix them, which I think it s a good thing personally.
1
SPEAKER_04
One of the things that i think a good leader has to do is paint a picture very clearly for their employees about what success looks like this is the goal this is the objective this is what i expect this is what i need and if your employees say okay i don t agree with that i don t want that well then maybe this isn t the job for them.
1
SPEAKER_04
But I do think that it opens the door to a good conversation because you want people to ask questions.
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A lot of times people are afraid to ask questions because they re afraid that they re going to look stupid or they re going to look like they don t know what they re doing.
1
SPEAKER_04
But in fact the only way to have somebody become more successful is if they ask questions.
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that clarify the issues for them so that they can deliver successfully.
1
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So I think as a leader, part of what you need to do is to be very clear about what you expect and what you need.
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And if somebody says, okay, I want to do that, but here are the ways that I personally would like to modify that, then it s up to you as a leader to decide, okay, am I going to make these concessions
1
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Because ultimately, even though we may not see everything eye to eye, we re still trying to do the same thing.
1
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And if they don t, they re just not the right employee.
1
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And it doesn t have to be a negative.
1
SPEAKER_04
Not every job is for everybody.
1
SPEAKER_04
And you re better at some things than others, but the number one job of the leader is to be clear about what you need.
1
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It s so crucial.
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It s so crucial to be clear, to have ongoing conversations, have points in time where there s a planned check-in conversation.
1
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And I know for myself, I ll reiterate, if this is not good for you, if this job does not work for you, after all of the clarification, let me know because
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I m not taking this personally.
1
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I just need this job done.
1
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I just need this job done.
1
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And if you cannot do it, please be clear with me so I can get someone who will do the job.
1
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That s right.
1
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In fact, if you re not clear,
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personal for both people because one person feels unheard and one person feels unseen.
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And then you re in a bad place and it becomes personal when in fact it could have just been one simple, easy conversation where you say, this is what I expect.
1
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Okay, this is what I can do for you and this is what I can t do for you.
1
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And then you negotiate that and you figure out where your common ground is and then you do that.
1
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Janice, there you have it.
1
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From two leaders, right?
1
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Am I a leader?
1
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Yes.
1
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It s weird.
1
SPEAKER_03
You end up- You are.
1
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Yes, in ways.
1
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It s a weird thing to write jokes and then all of a sudden you re a boss.
1
SPEAKER_04
Sure.
1
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I think it s the same thing.
1
SPEAKER_04
You re a writer, but suddenly you have to be a showrunner.
1
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Yeah.
1
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Those are different jobs.
1
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They re just very different jobs.
1
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But what you do comes with a tremendous, you have to lead a lot of people.
1
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Yeah.
1
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It s a crazy world.
1
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Alex, our last listener question is about music.
1
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Jackson writes, Tig, I have enjoyed your, quote-unquote, sweet spot playlist and discovered songs I love by listening to it.
1
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Alex, Jackson s referring to an exclusive Spotify playlist I created especially for listeners that support the show.
1
SPEAKER_03
Do you think you ll ever share another one?
1
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Can you share a preview of a song or two that you d put in the next one?
1
SPEAKER_03
Is there anything you ve been listening to, Alex?
1
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Anything you would share or put on the playlist?
1
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Well, music is a huge, huge part of my writing process.
1
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And during the pandemic, we all had a lot more time to sit around and listen to Spotify.
1
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And I started a playlist in like early 2020.
1
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That was the Man Who Felt Earth playlist.
1
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And it is now 20 hours long.
1
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Oh, my gosh.
1
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Every day, it was a song that was either inspiring me to write that day.
1
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A lot of the music ended up in the show.
1
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That s the playlist that I keep building on.
1
SPEAKER_03
That s nice.
1
SPEAKER_03
I would love to hear it.
1
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Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_04
Anytime.
1
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A friend of mine turned me on to the singer Sara Bareilles.
1
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Yeah.
1
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She has a song, Someone Who Loves Me, and I just really, really fell for that song.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
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It s sad but hopeful and it reminds me of these pandemic times of struggling and having somebody that really is a rock for you.
1
SPEAKER_03
I would say check that song out.
1
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We just did an episode with Phoebe Bridgers.
1
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Pick any song of Phoebe as far as I m concerned.
1
SPEAKER_03
Amazing.
1
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Jackson, great question.
1
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Listeners, write in and let me know what song you just can t stop listening to.
1
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Alex, we have one last thing to do before the end of the show.
1
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A lot of your films and TV shows center around brave, heroic characters, which is why the final segment I ve chosen for you,
1
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is when we will call Don t Ask Your Heroes.
1
SPEAKER_03
Everyone always says don t meet your heroes, but what about asking your heroes for advice?
1
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Don t Ask Your Heroes is the part of the show where we imagine what your hero might have to say about a particular question that s on your mind.
1
SPEAKER_03
Alex, if you had to name one person, who would you say is your hero?
1
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That s like an impossible question.
1
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My hero.
1
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I mean, the reason that it s such a hard question to answer is because there are so many parts of one s life in which someone can be a hero, right?
1
SPEAKER_04
So it s not like there s a single area where I have the one person.
1
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I mean, there s so many different people.
1
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So the question you re asking is, who would I ask a question of?
1
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I would ask Steven Spielberg what the secret key to directing is.
1
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And what do you think Steven Spielberg would say?
1
SPEAKER_04
I think he would say that the key is listening
1
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as the director, that you throw everything away in the moment when you see the magic that shows up on set.
1
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That s my guess.
1
SPEAKER_03
It gave me chills when you said that because it just applies to that in so many areas of life.
1
SPEAKER_03
Totally.
1
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Is showing up prepared and listening and then throwing it all out and being present, essentially.
1
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I think one of the things that always amazes me, you often have scenes where you re watching characters thinking, just thinking, and he s patient enough to just observe that in somebody.
1
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And there s something when it s done right, when the director is listening to the person on camera who s listening, it s absolutely riveting.
1
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It s just one of those amazing things to watch, but it requires a real focus and consideration for others.
1
SPEAKER_03
As a director yourself, do you feel you bring those elements to directing pretty seamlessly?
1
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I certainly try to every day.
1
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I think listening deeply is the key.
1
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I see a lot of directors come in and don t listen at all.
1
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And you can tell.
1
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There s an impatience sometimes to the way the footage turns out.
1
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But when you re really listening, you re creating a very safe space for the actors to do amazing work, to sort of give you their magic.
1
SPEAKER_04
Actors can t do that unless they are safe, right?
1
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And they know like, oh, I can do something wrong.
1
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I can really mess this take up and it s not going to be, it s just going to be a stepping stone to the next thing that s better.
1
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That s what listening is about really.
1
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And certainly when it comes to human beings, I m
1
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I m amazed.
1
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I mean, look, you know, you have to listen very carefully on so many different fronts, right?
1
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Because your comedy is observational.
1
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So there s a deep listening required to even come to be able to place where you can make the joke because you ve had to observe the situation first.
1
SPEAKER_03
Is there an example of as a director that you listened and then you saw things just shift on set and you were so thankful that you took that moment?
1
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, I mean, you know, the truth is that if you re doing it right, that kind of happens in every single take, right?
1
SPEAKER_04
To a lesser or greater extreme.
1
SPEAKER_04
But there are definitely moments where an actor can get in their head, right?
1
SPEAKER_04
And that s the worst place.
1
SPEAKER_04
What s the saying?
1
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Get in your head, you re dead, right?
1
SPEAKER_04
When you have to give a performance that s authentic and real, you re
1
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issues and be so present in the moment.
1
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And so I think that oftentimes listening is the most important thing because sometimes you have to find a way to pull the actor out of their head.
1
SPEAKER_04
And you can only do that if you re really listening to the problem.
1
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So sometimes it s as simple as saying, I need you to go do 25 jumping jacks right now.
1
SPEAKER_04
Just go do 25 jumping jacks.
1
SPEAKER_04
What are you talking about?
1
SPEAKER_04
Just do it.
1
SPEAKER_04
Go do it.
1
SPEAKER_04
And you re not in your head anymore.
1
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You re back in your body.
1
SPEAKER_04
It s interesting, actually, Tig, you and I had a moment on Discovery on our first episode, right?
1
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I wrote you all this dialogue that was like long technical speeches where you re like, I don t know what the hell I m saying here.
1
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I say that every episode, by the way.
1
SPEAKER_04
I know.
1
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That s the best part about it.
1
SPEAKER_03
And I curse you.
1
SPEAKER_03
I know.
1
SPEAKER_04
But in that moment, you turned to me and you re like, Alex, I don t know what I m saying.
1
SPEAKER_04
I m terrible.
1
SPEAKER_04
This isn t working.
1
SPEAKER_04
And I was like, Tig,
1
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It s real.
1
SPEAKER_04
What s happening is real.
1
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The fact that it doesn t sound like everybody else who does this dialogue is what makes it unique in its rhythm.
1
SPEAKER_04
Trust that.
1
SPEAKER_04
That s a wonderful thing and you did and it was great.
1
SPEAKER_02
Thanks for being patient.
1
SPEAKER_04
You still don t believe me.
1
SPEAKER_03
It s funny because years ago when I was on the Sarah Silverman program, I was struggling.
1
SPEAKER_03
I didn t get into stand-up to act and that was one of the first experiences I had.
1
SPEAKER_03
I remember Sarah telling me when I was having these struggles, she said, you know what?
1
SPEAKER_03
Don t even worry about it this next time, just do your worst take.
1
SPEAKER_03
Just do the worst possible take you can do.
1
SPEAKER_03
Pressure is off.
1
SPEAKER_03
It worked on me.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_03
Then another time when I locked up, I was so uncomfortable.
1
SPEAKER_03
She took me in her office and made me just jump up and down while we held hands together and we re just bouncing around her office.
1
SPEAKER_03
Then she s like, all right, let s get back out there.
1
SPEAKER_03
Let s go.
1
SPEAKER_03
Because she was like, we re friends making a TV show.
1
SPEAKER_03
This is fun.
1
SPEAKER_03
Totally.
1
SPEAKER_03
She was like, this should not be stressful.
1
SPEAKER_03
I was like, but, oh no.
1
SPEAKER_03
Sure.
1
SPEAKER_04
Of course.
1
SPEAKER_04
Of course, because you were putting pressure on yourself internally, or you had some sense of like, it s my first time on camera actually giving a performance that s not stand-up, and I don t know, am I that, can I even do that?
1
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, you were in your head, and she got you right out of your head.
1
SPEAKER_03
Well, and it seems like Steven Spielberg gave you some pretty great advice there a couple of minutes ago.
1
SPEAKER_03
Well, Alex, that s the end of the show.
1
SPEAKER_03
It was so fun talking to you as usual.
1
SPEAKER_04
As always, thank you for having me.
1
SPEAKER_03
Do you have anything you d like to mention or promote?
1
SPEAKER_04
No, no, you ve already, Man Who Fell to Earth is on Showtime now, and the work that so many incredible artists put into it is really extraordinary.
1
SPEAKER_04
We really made five movies in the time you d have to, like half the time you d have to make one real one.
1
SPEAKER_04
But we definitely set out to make a movie, and it really does feel like one.
1
SPEAKER_04
I m proud of it, and I m proud of the work everybody did.
1
SPEAKER_03
Well, congrats to you.
1
SPEAKER_03
And I m proud of you.
1
SPEAKER_03
Even outside of the man who fell to earth, you re a tremendous
2
SPEAKER_01
friend and human being, and I just really, really appreciate you doing the show.
2
SPEAKER_01
Me too, Tig.
2
SPEAKER_01
I feel the same.
2
SPEAKER_01
Bye, Alex.
2
SPEAKER_01
Bye.
2
SPEAKER_01
And here is another friendly reminder that you can see me live and also in person on my tour called Hello Again.
2
SPEAKER_01
For tickets, go to TigNotaro.com.
2
SPEAKER_01
What on earth are you waiting for?
2
SPEAKER_01
Get your tickets right now and if your city isn t there, check back again at TigNotaro.com because likely I m adding a city near you.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s what you are
2
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Don t Ask Tig is hosted by me, Tig Notaro.
2
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It s produced by Thomas Ouellette, Shana Deloria, and Ryan Lohr.
2
SPEAKER_01
Our executive producer and editor is Beth Perlman.
2
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Engineering and sound mixing by Johnny Vince Evans, Eric Romani, and Derek Ramirez.
2
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Digital production by James Napoli.
2
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Talent booking by Marianne Ways.
2
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Production support from Pizza Shark.
2
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Our theme music is Friend and Tig by Edie Burkell and Kyle Crusham.
2
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And Listen to Your Heart by Edie Burkell.
2
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Special thanks to Hunter Seidman.
2
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APM Studios executives in charge are Chandra Kavati, Alex Schaffert, and Joanne Griffith.
2
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Concept developed by Tracy Mumford.
2
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Our executive consultant is Dean Capello and Gobsmack Studios.
2
SPEAKER_01
You can always ask for advice at DontAskTig.org.
2
SPEAKER_01
Just write in with your problem or send us a voice memo.
2
SPEAKER_01
Remember to follow us on social media at DontAskTig.
2
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DontAskTig is a production of American Public Media.
2
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And as always, thanks, Dana.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I ll tell Becky.
2
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Hi, I m stand-up comedian and sex symbol Tig Notaro.
2
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And I m actor and writer Cheryl Hines.
2
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Before Cheryl and I got into the big business of podcasting together, we were just simply friends.
2
SPEAKER_00
And we re still friends.
2
SPEAKER_00
But now we talk about a different documentary every week on our podcast, Tig and Cheryl, True Story.
2
SPEAKER_00
So whether you love documentaries or just want to hear us slowly lose our minds, check out Tig and Cheryl, True Story, wherever you get your podcasts.
2
SPEAKER_01
Alright, cool.