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 Bring a little optimism into your life with The Bright Side, a new kind of daily podcast from Hello Sunshine, hosted by me, Danielle Robay.
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And me, Simone Boyce.
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Every weekday, we're bringing you conversations about culture, the latest trends, inspiration, and so much more.
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I am so excited about this podcast, The Bright Side.
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You guys are giving people a chance to shine a light on their lives, shine a light on a little advice that they want to share.
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 Listen to The Bright Side on America's number one podcast network, iHeart.
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Open your free iHeart app and search The Bright Side.
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A new season of Bridgerton is here.
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And with it, a new season of Bridgerton, the official podcast.
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I'm your host, Gabby Collins.
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And this season, we are bringing fans even deeper into the tun.
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Watch season three of the Shondaland series on Netflix.
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Then fall in love all over again by listening to Bridgerton, the official podcast.
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Subscribe to catch a new episode every Thursday.
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 Discover a new educational and interactive podcast, Stories for Kids by Lingokids.
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Listen to Stories for Kids on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
0
SPEAKER_08
 Hey everyone and welcome back to On Purpose.
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SPEAKER_08
This is a very, very special episode.
0
SPEAKER_08
I had the opportunity to sit down with three hosts and one of them has been on here before.
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SPEAKER_08
Someone we all love and admire, an incredibly talented friend of mine.
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SPEAKER_08
I'm a big fan of his new book, Man Enough, Undefining My Masculinity, where he helps readers think outside of the traditional definition of masculinity.
0
SPEAKER_08
 He opens up to everyone, allows himself to be vulnerable and admits that he is still working on healing himself.
0
SPEAKER_08
Everyone please welcome back Justin Boldoni and someone who hopes his book will inspire other men to let themselves be vulnerable as well.
0
SPEAKER_08
This is one that I don't want you to miss.
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SPEAKER_08
Can't wait for you to hear this conversation.
0
SPEAKER_08
There's some big reveals in this one.
0
SPEAKER_12
 Welcome to the Man Enough podcast.
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SPEAKER_12
Man Enough is a conversation about what it means to be a man today and undefining all of the stereotypical traditional ideas of masculinity to make room for anybody who identifies as a man to be allowed to be a man.
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SPEAKER_12
We want to create a world where there is more
0
SPEAKER_12
 unity and equality and that starts with uncomfortable conversations where we go deep and we are growing and learning in real time.
0
SPEAKER_12
We have not arrived, we're just beginning.
0
SPEAKER_12
Check us out at manenuff.com or you can like and subscribe to us wherever you get your podcasts.
0
SPEAKER_12
 Hello and welcome back to man enough I'm Justin Baldoni here with the incredible Liz Plank Jamie Heath and the one and only my dear friend Mr. Jay Shetty Dude we finally doing we're doing it.
0
SPEAKER_08
Thank you for having me guys.
0
SPEAKER_12
Have you ever been on a podcast?
0
SPEAKER_08
 I've never been on a podcast with three co-hosts before.
0
SPEAKER_10
So this is not your first podcast.
0
SPEAKER_08
So this is special.
0
SPEAKER_08
This is very special.
0
SPEAKER_10
I just wanted this to be your first podcast ever, but he's never been on any podcast.
0
SPEAKER_08
This is the first time I've been on a podcast.
0
SPEAKER_08
 which has such a beautiful, clear purpose to help people redefine who they want to be in the world.
0
SPEAKER_08
And so it is the first time.
0
SPEAKER_08
And, uh, it's the first time that I'm being interviewed by Justin.
0
SPEAKER_08
I've had him on the podcast before, which has been really special.
0
SPEAKER_08
It's the first time we're meeting and, uh, Liz have been a huge fan of for like the last five years.
0
SPEAKER_08
I've just been name dropping all her video names since we met.
0
SPEAKER_08
And I'm so grateful to get to meet you today, Jamie.
0
SPEAKER_08
So thank you for having me.
0
SPEAKER_10
Thanks for being here.
0
SPEAKER_12
 You're just... You're just special.
0
SPEAKER_12
You're a special man.
0
SPEAKER_12
It's like you meet people that you know were sent by God with a purpose to just make it a little better, and you're one of those people.
0
SPEAKER_06
 You are a bestselling author.
0
SPEAKER_06
You are a former monk and a purpose coach.
0
SPEAKER_06
Uh, you're the host of an incredibly popular podcast on purpose, speaking of purpose, um, which has more than 64 million downloads.
0
SPEAKER_06
Your YouTube videos have been streamed 2 billion times.
0
SPEAKER_06
That's like a third of the planet.
0
SPEAKER_12
Um, and I hope you find success.
0
SPEAKER_12
Maybe one day you can be on a podcast.
0
SPEAKER_06
 When you finished your studies, you turned down jobs in the business world to go live in India and become a full-time monk.
0
SPEAKER_06
That inspired your book, Think Like a Monk.
0
SPEAKER_06
It came out in September 2020 during this pandemic.
0
SPEAKER_06
And I know you've talked about it so much.
0
SPEAKER_06
Hopefully we will get to talk about it and so many more other things.
0
SPEAKER_06
But it's sold out, so many copies.
0
SPEAKER_06
And with that in mind,
0
SPEAKER_06
 I'd love to welcome you, our show, to Man Enough.
0
SPEAKER_06
Thank you.
0
SPEAKER_08
Thank you for embarrassing me.
0
SPEAKER_12
Isn't it awkward to just hear even a portion of your life story and your successes, right?
0
SPEAKER_12
Perceived successes.
0
SPEAKER_08
I get it.
0
SPEAKER_08
No, I value everything you just shared.
0
SPEAKER_08
I'm so grateful and blessed to have that.
0
SPEAKER_08
But I have this practice that we were trained in as monks that when someone notices something good about you, even what you were just saying earlier,
0
SPEAKER_08
 you accept it and you receive it, but you think of the person that helped you get that skill or ability or habit or practice that helped you develop that.
0
SPEAKER_08
Intentionally, unintentionally, and you pass it on to them.
0
SPEAKER_08
So I love doing this because I can just sit here and think about all my teachers and monk teachers and pass it back to them and thank them in my heart.
0
SPEAKER_08
So it's an opportunity to be thankful and grateful.
0
SPEAKER_08
So.
0
SPEAKER_12
 I love that.
0
SPEAKER_12
You've been on the podcast for 35 seconds and you've already dropped something that's helpful to me.
0
SPEAKER_12
Cause I have a hard time accepting compliments.
0
SPEAKER_12
I just have a hard time with it.
0
SPEAKER_12
And I love, I love that I can accept it and thank somebody.
0
SPEAKER_12
I can, I can do that.
0
SPEAKER_12
Yeah, it's simple.
0
SPEAKER_12
I can do that because I, I stand on the shoulder of giants, right?
0
SPEAKER_12
Um, I appreciate that.
0
SPEAKER_12
 All right.
0
SPEAKER_12
All right.
0
SPEAKER_10
Thank you.
0
SPEAKER_10
And I noticed too, before you, before, I hope you don't mind me pointing this out.
0
SPEAKER_10
Before we started, I saw you, I looked over you and your eyes were closed and you just took like 30, 50, 60 seconds.
0
SPEAKER_10
Is that something that you learned during your, um, monastery?
0
SPEAKER_06
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_10
What?
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SPEAKER_06
Monastery?
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SPEAKER_06
During your time in monastery?
0
SPEAKER_08
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_08
It was, uh, the idea of using any opportunity before you begin something
0
SPEAKER_08
 you're setting your intention for service.
0
SPEAKER_08
So before you begin anything in the day, whether it's eating or even sleeping or spending time with someone, or, I mean, we literally are serving humanity through Justin and all of you and the incredible work that Man Enough does.
0
SPEAKER_08
So to just set your intention and be like, okay, let me get out of my own way.
0
SPEAKER_08
Let me be a channel.
0
SPEAKER_08
Let me serve.
0
SPEAKER_08
Let me, you know, not.
0
SPEAKER_10
So it's not really a prayer.
0
SPEAKER_08
 It's a prayer.
0
SPEAKER_08
You could call it a prayer.
0
SPEAKER_08
Absolutely.
0
SPEAKER_08
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_08
You could call it a prayer.
0
SPEAKER_08
Uh, but, but the clear thing is you're setting your intention for service.
0
SPEAKER_08
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_08
So a prayer for to be of service.
0
SPEAKER_08
Absolutely.
0
SPEAKER_12
So I'd like to start by asking you, when was a time where you just didn't feel like you were man enough?
0
SPEAKER_08
 I'd probably say my whole life.
0
SPEAKER_08
Like it's, it feels like such a real thing because when I was growing up as a young boy, I was overweight and I was one of the few ethnic minorities in my area.
0
SPEAKER_08
And so I was bullied at primary school and I'd always be picked on or the mick taken out of whether it was racism or,
0
SPEAKER_08
 whether it was about my weight or body image and all of those kinds of issues.
0
SPEAKER_08
And I actually didn't take it that personally because I'd go home and my mom loved me a lot.
0
SPEAKER_08
And so I was raised, I feel like I was literally raised by my mom.
0
SPEAKER_08
And that's one of the reasons why I never felt man enough.
0
SPEAKER_08
 because my mother was the most involved parent.
0
SPEAKER_08
My dad was very much aloof, let me make my decisions, failures, choices, but my mother was always there.
0
SPEAKER_08
My mother taught me how to shave my face.
0
SPEAKER_08
She taught me my skincare routine.
0
SPEAKER_08
My mother was like the first person to teach me a lot of what people's dads usually teach them.
0
SPEAKER_08
 And that wasn't because my dad was a bad father, it's just that that was his style, and we have a great friendship now.
0
SPEAKER_08
But with my mom, she was the one involved, so I never felt man enough because I didn't have a man teaching me man things, or however you want to put it.
0
SPEAKER_08
I was always surrounded by my mother, my sister, and powerful women in my life.
0
SPEAKER_08
 And I wasn't really exposed to alpha males or any of those figures.
0
SPEAKER_08
So how does that manifest?
0
SPEAKER_08
Like, do people call you mama's boy?
0
SPEAKER_08
Do they call you names?
0
SPEAKER_08
Yeah, all of it.
0
SPEAKER_08
I remember when someone would pick on me at school, I'd go tell my mom, then my mom would come to school to like, you know, like, be like, why are you treating my son like this?
0
SPEAKER_08
And that's like the worst nightmare.
0
SPEAKER_08
 for a kid, right?
0
SPEAKER_08
It's like, it's like everyone in the school is like, Oh gosh, it's Jay's mom again.
0
SPEAKER_08
And you know, my mom can be pretty protective of, of me, especially when I was younger.
0
SPEAKER_08
And so she'd get right in there with the head, head mistress's office or the Dean's office and just be like, can't have this happen.
0
SPEAKER_08
And then everyone would find out and then everyone would laugh at you more.
0
SPEAKER_08
And so I think, I think it ended up.
0
SPEAKER_08
 I actually think it just made me more of who I am today.
0
SPEAKER_08
But when I went to high school, I started to crave more male attention.
0
SPEAKER_08
So going from that, I then went to an all boys school.
0
SPEAKER_08
 Oh wow.
0
SPEAKER_08
So I went to an all boys school from the age of 11 to 18.
0
SPEAKER_08
And at that point you have no one else's validation or recognition to get apart from other boys.
0
SPEAKER_08
Right.
0
SPEAKER_08
Now I want to fit in.
0
SPEAKER_12
Did you, so did you seek or crave that attention?
0
SPEAKER_08
Absolutely.
0
SPEAKER_08
That's when I was like, Oh, now I want to be seen as strong and I want to be seen as cool and I want to be seen as the guy and I want to be seen as this and that.
0
SPEAKER_08
And so
0
SPEAKER_08
 I think that manifested in being quite competitive.
0
SPEAKER_08
And so I wanted to get a spot on the school's rugby team.
0
SPEAKER_08
I wanted to get a spot on the school's swimming team.
0
SPEAKER_08
I wanted to get a spot on the school's... Did you play rugby?
0
SPEAKER_08
I did.
0
SPEAKER_08
I think a big part of it was that masculine feeling that it gave me.
0
SPEAKER_08
And so I think it manifested in insecurities at high school.
0
SPEAKER_08
So as I got older, I actually think between 14 to 18, it manifested as insecurities of seeking validation and recognition
0
SPEAKER_08
 for that which was not me.
0
SPEAKER_08
So I wasn't looking to be loved because I was empathetic and compassionate and kind, which is how my mom raised me.
0
SPEAKER_08
I was looking to be liked because I was bold and courageous and strong and physical and competitive.
0
SPEAKER_08
And so you almost start looking for validation for the things that you're not.
0
SPEAKER_08
So you became, you were performing.
0
SPEAKER_08
Absolutely.
0
SPEAKER_08
Every day.
0
SPEAKER_08
Absolutely.
0
SPEAKER_06
Absolutely.
0
SPEAKER_06
 Masculinity feels like a, like it's a total dance, right?
0
SPEAKER_06
It's a total choreography and you're kind of watching other men like do it, right?
0
SPEAKER_06
Like even the handshake, like how am I supposed to like do the hug, then the pull, then the- Then the what?
0
SPEAKER_12
Show us one more time.
0
SPEAKER_06
There's like a pull, there's a tap sometimes, double tap.
0
SPEAKER_12
The bro hug.
0
SPEAKER_12
No, no, it's the bro hug.
0
SPEAKER_06
 Yeah, there's a lot of different, it's very funny, not funny, but it can be entertaining as a woman to just kind of watch that and be like, I'm so happy I don't have to figure that out.
0
SPEAKER_06
But I want to come back to your point about service, which you really opened up our conversation with.
0
SPEAKER_06
I feel like we over-emphasize service for women, right?
0
SPEAKER_06
That you are at the service of the people around you and that's your value in the world.
0
SPEAKER_06
And we kind of under-emphasize service for men.
0
SPEAKER_06
 And it seems like for you, finding service as purpose was really a very meaningful part of your identity.
0
SPEAKER_06
I'm wondering how you see, you know, us being able to make that connection.
0
SPEAKER_06
What does service look like for men, and how is it tied to masculinity?
0
SPEAKER_08
 Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_08
I mean, I saw, what I was saying was I saw my mother's sacrifice growing up.
0
SPEAKER_08
So my mother was raising me and my sister deeply with love.
0
SPEAKER_08
I've always felt loved by my mother.
0
SPEAKER_08
And then she would also have her own business.
0
SPEAKER_08
So I didn't even know, I didn't know she was an entrepreneur, but she was an entrepreneur, which was so weird because she never made herself out to be an entrepreneur.
0
SPEAKER_08
And so she had her own business.
0
SPEAKER_08
She started it so that she could work more flexibly.
0
SPEAKER_08
 And she was taking care of my sister.
0
SPEAKER_08
She'd drop us to school.
0
SPEAKER_08
She'd pick us up.
0
SPEAKER_08
She'd make us dinner.
0
SPEAKER_08
She'd be working as well.
0
SPEAKER_08
And at one point became the main breadwinner in the family as well.
0
SPEAKER_08
And so I saw my mom serve or sacrifice in this way.
0
SPEAKER_08
And so I feel like I got trained by watching her and observing her.
0
SPEAKER_08
And then when I met the monks who, the predominant monks that I lived with were all men, and service was at the core of their entire being.
0
SPEAKER_08
 So our teachers would always tell us that the only way a culture succeeds is if everyone wants to serve everyone else.
0
SPEAKER_08
And so that was like the encouragement of that culture.
0
SPEAKER_08
And that's where it became so real to me.
0
SPEAKER_08
And for me, service and masculinity go hand in hand, but service and humanity go hand in hand.
0
SPEAKER_08
 And I think this is, it's slightly veering off from where we are, but I think it's an important point to make is, when I lived as a monk, we stopped identifying as men and women.
0
SPEAKER_08
And we were asked to identify as consciousness.
0
SPEAKER_08
And that,
0
SPEAKER_08
 distinction and difference just kind of created this huge like weight of my shoulders because now it's like, oh, I'm not masculine or feminine or I'm not this or that.
0
SPEAKER_08
I'm just, I'm just, I'm just consciousness.
0
SPEAKER_08
I'm a human.
0
SPEAKER_08
I'm a soul.
0
SPEAKER_08
I'm whatever you want to call it.
0
SPEAKER_08
I'm energy.
0
SPEAKER_08
And that energy is wired for service.
0
SPEAKER_08
 And so the energy inside each of us at this table is wired for service.
0
SPEAKER_08
So the way it connects is that we've been designed to serve, but unfortunately, and I've heard that a lot from women, is that often it turns into being a martyr or going to the point of self-sacrifice and self-sabotage because of how it's encouraged more.
0
SPEAKER_08
And I was speaking at this event and a man came up to me, he was probably in his 40s,
0
SPEAKER_08
 And I had just told a story about how when I met the monks at 18, they shifted my perspective to service.
0
SPEAKER_08
And he said to me, he goes, you're so lucky that you got that at 18.
0
SPEAKER_08
And I was like, yeah, I know, trust me.
0
SPEAKER_08
Like I'm so grateful to my teachers.
0
SPEAKER_08
He goes, no, no, no, really.
0
SPEAKER_08
He goes, I only realized that someone else mattered when I had a child.
0
SPEAKER_08
And he was like, that's the only, that was the first time I realized that someone apart from me mattered.
0
SPEAKER_08
 And, and, you know, he was obviously being really vulnerable and I appreciated him sharing that and I met it with compassion, but I think that's the case that for a lot of men, I don't think we're trained early on in our life to realize that not just do our kids matter or our partners matter, but everyone matters and more people matter.
0
SPEAKER_06
 where you're rewarded if you don't, right?
0
SPEAKER_06
Like on the rugby team, you know, sort of what the culture you're describing, where you get rewarded if you are individualistic, competitive, and, you know, have this kind of attitude.
0
SPEAKER_06
And again, for women, it's the opposite.
0
SPEAKER_06
We get heavily punished when we take on those characteristics.
0
SPEAKER_02
That's true.
0
SPEAKER_06
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_06
But that ungendering is so interesting, right, that happened.
0
SPEAKER_06
And that surplus of energy that you felt is something that
0
SPEAKER_06
 we could all access, right?
0
SPEAKER_06
If we weren't weighed down by these gender stereotypes.
0
SPEAKER_10
It's like the freedom, right?
0
SPEAKER_06
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_10
So you're saying that you had sight, you had knowledge growing up by your mother and you kind of held that to yourself.
0
SPEAKER_08
I gave it up because I saw it as less than.
0
SPEAKER_08
So it's not even that I held it back.
0
SPEAKER_08
I gave it up and substituted it.
0
SPEAKER_12
You traded it in for your man card.
0
SPEAKER_08
Correct.
0
SPEAKER_08
For this toxicity, which then obviously encouraged more people to go down that path.
0
SPEAKER_08
 And then I think the best thing I've done to try and remove that is when I became a monk, I became the mentor to a lot of young men in London.
0
SPEAKER_08
And those young men are still involved in my life.
0
SPEAKER_08
So I've known them since they were like 16 to 18 years old.
0
SPEAKER_08
They're all like 26 to 28 years old now.
0
SPEAKER_08
 And so I feel like those 25 guys, they know who they are.
0
SPEAKER_08
Those are like my favorite success story because I just see them make amazing decisions with their partners, their careers, most of them in relationships now.
0
SPEAKER_08
And I see the husbands and the fathers they're becoming.
0
SPEAKER_08
 I mean, many of them become fathers before I am one, and it's just inspiring that they're also leading that way and showing me that people don't have to make as bad a mistakes or go as far as I did.
0
SPEAKER_12
 Where do you go?
0
SPEAKER_12
Like when you're struggling, you know, when you and your wife are having a fight or if you ever have, I don't know if you guys have fights.
0
SPEAKER_12
Lots.
0
SPEAKER_12
Where do you go and share that?
0
SPEAKER_12
Cause you are, you are a spiritual guru to millions of people now, right?
0
SPEAKER_12
And in many ways, and so many people look to you for advice, but who do you go to?
0
SPEAKER_12
Where do you go when you need help?
0
SPEAKER_08
 Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_08
So the first thing I'm going to address that, the argument my wife, because I think that's such a good thing to talk about.
0
SPEAKER_08
This is what I find fascinating about the way humans are wired.
0
SPEAKER_08
And, and I'll give an example.
0
SPEAKER_08
So me and my wife's been my, um,
0
SPEAKER_08
 first guest every year when we launch a new season of the podcast.
0
SPEAKER_08
So she's been on the podcast three times, the guest we've had on the most.
0
SPEAKER_08
And every time we'll do like a one and a half hour episode of everything we struggled with that year.
0
SPEAKER_08
And so we talk about like the mistakes, the failures, the things that went wrong.
0
SPEAKER_08
And the number one comment will be relationship goals.
0
SPEAKER_08
 And the number one comment would be couple goals.
0
SPEAKER_08
And what I've found is that the human desire to be inspired and want someone to project perfection onto anyone is so strong that my honest comment back is always, please listen to what we just said.
0
SPEAKER_08
 You're not listening.
0
SPEAKER_08
Right?
0
SPEAKER_08
And not in a not listening in like, and I know you don't mean this, not in an attacking way, but just like, please just listen to me.
0
SPEAKER_08
Like, I just told you that when I first started dating my wife, I thought she wanted to be wooed like in the movies of Hollywood.
0
SPEAKER_08
And I got it all wrong because I was doing all this flashy stuff.
0
SPEAKER_08
And my wife's actually a simple person, did not want any of that.
0
SPEAKER_08
I just told you that.
0
SPEAKER_12
Do you know we have the same story?
0
SPEAKER_12
 I didn't know that.
0
SPEAKER_12
When we had our double date, we didn't talk about it.
0
SPEAKER_08
We did not talk about that.
0
SPEAKER_12
It's the identical story.
0
SPEAKER_08
Really?
0
SPEAKER_08
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_08
I love that.
0
SPEAKER_08
No, keep going.
0
SPEAKER_08
Please keep going.
0
SPEAKER_08
So, so, so my point is being like, if I've just told you that actually for the first two years of our marriage, sorry, two years of our relationship, we didn't understand each other.
0
SPEAKER_08
 don't just look at us and go like, oh yeah, you guys got green eyes and they match.
0
SPEAKER_08
And so you match and like, you know, it's, there's just so much more to it.
0
SPEAKER_08
And I find that as humans, we so want people to be perfect, that we create a pedestal, even if someone's telling you the truth.
0
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 And I think if we just sit and all listen to each other, then A, we won't be let down by people and B, we won't put people off.
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When you find that bright spot to help you get through your day, it's powerful.
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That's where The Bright Side comes in.
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A new daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that's bringing you a daily dose of joy.
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 I'm Danielle Robay.
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And I'm Simone Boyce.
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Listen, both Danielle and I are reporters.
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We've covered the news and we know the world can feel heavy.
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But the Bright Side podcast is a space to have a little fun, to learn something new and get into some friendly debates.
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 That's right, join us five days a week to see how life can look from the bright side.
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We'll hear from celebrities, authors, experts, and listeners like you.
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Whether it's relationships, friend advice, or figuring out how to navigate life's transitions, we'll talk through it all together.
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Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine every weekday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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 Parents, ready to discover a new educational and interactive podcast for kids?
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Join Stories for Kids by Lingokids, where episodes are packed with fun activities.
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SPEAKER_07
Right, Elliot?
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Oh, yes!
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We learned how to recycle at the beach.
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 That was great fun!
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Cowie, what do you say?
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It was!
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And that time when we did the science experiments and Billy made raisins dance!
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That is so cool, Billy!
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He did!
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Not to mention when a certain Elliot took up swimming classes with Lisa.
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That was me!
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Bet you can't catch me!
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I'm going to get you!
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 All this fun and more in our Stories for Kids.
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Lingo Kids' Stories for Kids is now available on Story Button, the kid-friendly device for screenless podcast listening.
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Listen to Stories for Kids on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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When the Taliban banned music in Afghanistan, millions were plunged into silence.
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SPEAKER_09
 Radios were smashed, cassettes burned.
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You could be beaten or jailed or killed for breaking the rules.
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And yet, Afghans did it anyway.
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This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.
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The danger they endured.
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They said my head should be cut off.
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 the joy they brought to the nation.
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You're free completely.
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No one is there to destroy you.
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I'm John Legend.
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Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
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 on the pedestal, but who do I go to?
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So the first thing, I definitely turn to my texts.
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And I know we share this in common, but the Bhagavad Gita has been such a companion and guide in my life from so long, since I was 18, that I turn to it all the time.
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My monk teacher, who's now 70 years old, who you actually met when you came to my home.
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Yeah, oh my God, so sweet.
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Yeah, when you came to my home, so you've met him, and he's now 70 years old.
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He grew up in Chicago and hitchhiked to India at the age of 19.
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 The story's insane.
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It's an insane story.
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And so when I'm struggling with something in a major way, when it's like a real like, I feel like it's a tragedy at this point, then he's the person I go to because he always helps me see the reality and see the truth.
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Again, there's monks in between that journey.
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So he's like kind of at the top of the order, but then there's other ones that are more like older brothers and I can be more vulnerable with them.
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And I don't feel like,
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 So you have monks on speed dial.
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And they're there to help you like just recalibrate, bring yourself to account.
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So for men who don't have monks on speed dial, what is your advice for them to do business in a more spiritual way?
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 So spirituality in business is an interesting concept because a lot of people today see it as an oxymoron or mutually exclusive.
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And the truth is that spirituality is so powerful that it actually spreads across everything.
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And I know all of you understand that, but it's like,
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 If spirituality is what we all say it is, then it has the purity and the power to spread across anything.
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And again, going back to our previous theme, the key element is, is this for service of humanity, for others, or is this in the service of myself?
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Now that's a fine line.
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Yeah.
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And
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 I've been on the wrong side of that line plenty of times.
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So there's plenty of times when I assess options and opportunities in front of me and I realize I'm only taking that option because there's ego involved.
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I'm only taking that option because there's an opportunity or there's a big payout or there's a nice dollar sign next to it and I'm only doing it for that.
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And I've said yes to stuff like that plenty of times to know that I'm not perfect, but the awareness
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 is what I would encourage people to do is having the ability to be like, here are the three, four options in my life right now.
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Let me write a word above them, which is the intention of why I'm choosing that.
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And if the word isn't love or service, it's not going to feel good after I finish it.
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 And so that's what I would encourage people to do as a reflection without needing anyone in their life or anyone around them.
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I love that.
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I love that there's this, I don't know the quote exactly, but one of the central figures in the Baha'i faith talks about Abdu'l-Baha, that when you are suffering and when you are going through something and you cannot find a way out,
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 to immediately go be of service to another.
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Because when you are service to others, you find that your own pains and things just dissipate through that.
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So when you talked about earlier about being wired for service, so while I think that,
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 Also, there are some people that are put into service toward to others, not to be of pure service because they're forced to be put there.
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Women are some.
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Wives, oftentimes, unless we do something different.
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I have these conversations with Liz all the time.
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The service that I've always seen with women in my life, my mother, grandma, all of them,
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 It was, it was, there was a lot of sexism going on as well.
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Not necessarily by my father.
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Certainly I, I want to, I want to say no, but all of the stuff that was being experienced.
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So I think that this idea of service being elevated, but service being forced, how do we, how do we really talk about that?
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And how does service and capitalism, right?
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Like which feel at odds.
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Um, how do you, how do you reconcile that?
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 Yeah, there's a beautiful statement by Peter Diamandis and he says that we should redefine the word billionaire to be someone who impacts the lives of a billion people.
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SPEAKER_08
 Now, whether you think of that from spirituality or from a money perspective, the wealthiest people in the world are creating something that services the most amount of people.
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And the scale of the problem you're solving and the depth of the issue is how much money you make.
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So if someone created a cure for cancer,
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 and was able to scale it across the world, they would probably be the wealthiest person on the planet because they created something out of service.
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Now, you may say, well, Jay, well, no, many people out of wanting the money will figure that out.
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I'd say that they may, but I'm hoping that on that journey, they'll upgrade and their desire and their intention will be purified.
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And I think this was what I loved learning from the Bhagavad Gita, which was this idea of there is no pure intention.
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 All intentions are percentages and divided.
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So when you first start something, you may have a 70% pure intention, but there's 30% of ego in that.
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Or when you start, it's probably the other way around, 25% good intention and 75% of ego, but it's purified in the process.
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SPEAKER_08
 So even if you look at people who've set out their lives, and I work with many of them, who set out at the beginning of their lives to become wealthy and famous, when they became wealthy and famous, they then realized that wasn't the point and they were purified in the process of achieving their goal.
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And so the way I think about it is that in a capitalist society, even the people that are succeeding
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 are succeeding because of service, whether it's conscious or not conscious, whether it's intentional or unintentional.
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Amazon is successful because we all want its service.
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We want to be served
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 There's a beautiful statement by Russell Barkley where he said that people who need the most love often ask for it in the most unloving ways.
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And I think what it means to be man enough is to be able to approach everyone with that love, recognizing that the pain they're causing you or anyone else is coming from a place of them being unloved at some point in their life.
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 Well, Jay Shetty, you, my friend, are man enough.
2
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Thank you so much for being here with us.
2
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Thank you, Liz.
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Thanks so much for doing this in person.
2
SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
2
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I know you had to move a lot of stuff around to make this happen.
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SPEAKER_01
So thank you so much.
2
SPEAKER_01
This is so special.
2
SPEAKER_01
I learned so much.
2
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So sweet.
2
SPEAKER_01
 even more videos just like this one, make sure you subscribe and click on the boxes over here.
2
SPEAKER_01
I'm also excited to let you know that you can now get my book, Think Like a Monk, from thinklikeamonkbook.com.
2
SPEAKER_01
Check below in the description to make sure you order today.
2
SPEAKER_05
 Guess what, Will?
2
SPEAKER_05
What's that, Mango?
2
SPEAKER_05
I've been trying to write a promo for our podcast, Part-Time Genius, but even though we've done over 250 episodes, we don't really talk about murders or cults.
2
SPEAKER_04
I mean, we did just cover the Illuminati of cheese, so I feel like that makes us pretty edgy.
2
SPEAKER_04
We also solve mysteries like how Chinese is your Chinese food and how do dollar stores make money?
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SPEAKER_04
And then, of course, can you game a dog show?
2
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So what you're saying is everyone should be listening.
2
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Listen to Part-Time Genius on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
2
SPEAKER_00
 Hey everyone, this is Molly and Matt, and we're the hosts of Grown Up Stuff How to Adult, a podcast from Ruby Studio and iHeart Podcasts.
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It's a show dedicated to helping you figure out the trickiest parts of adulting.
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SPEAKER_00
Like how to start planning for retirement, creating a healthy skincare routine, understanding when and how much to tip someone, and so much more.
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Let's learn about all of it and then some.
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SPEAKER_03
Listen to Grown Up Stuff How to Adult on America's number one podcast network, iHeart.
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SPEAKER_03
Open your free iHeart app and search Grown Up Stuff.
2
SPEAKER_02
 This is the story of how a group of people brought music back to Afghanistan by creating their own version of American Idol.
2
SPEAKER_02
The joy they brought to the nation.
2
SPEAKER_01
You're free completely.
2
SPEAKER_01
No one is there to destroy you.
2
SPEAKER_02
The danger they endured.
2
SPEAKER_04
They said my head should be cut off.
2
SPEAKER_02
I'm John Legend.
2
SPEAKER_02
Listen to Afghan Star on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.