0
SPEAKER_00
Hello.
0
SPEAKER_01
Hello.
0
SPEAKER_00
Hey.
0
SPEAKER_01
What s your name, dog?
0
SPEAKER_00
I m Joey.
0
SPEAKER_01
Joey.
0
SPEAKER_01
Joey, what s going on, man?
0
SPEAKER_01
What do you want to talk about today?
0
SPEAKER_00
Man, what isn t going on?
0
SPEAKER_00
So I have a pretty serious issue.
0
SPEAKER_00
About two weeks ago, I was going to a vacation to Portland.
0
SPEAKER_00
And on the way up to Portland from the Bay Area, California, I got pulled over for going 80 on a 70.
0
SPEAKER_00
And cop pulled me over.
0
SPEAKER_00
He said, I look nervous.
0
SPEAKER_00
He wanted to search my car.
0
SPEAKER_00
I didn t let him search my car.
0
SPEAKER_00
And he brought a canine unit.
0
SPEAKER_00
So they searched my car anyways.
0
SPEAKER_00
And they found a little bit of cocaine on me.
0
SPEAKER_00
Actually, it s not all they found.
0
SPEAKER_00
I had mushrooms, I had MDMA, I had LSD, I had ketamine, and I had some cocaine.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I thought I was gonna go to jail, but they actually let me go.
0
SPEAKER_01
So what s the problem?
0
SPEAKER_00
Well, so the problem is now I have to go to court.
0
SPEAKER_00
I have to go to court and I have to figure out how I m going to tell my parents that I got a possession of cocaine charge on my record.
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay, when you said when you said they didn t take you to jail, I thought I m fucking sorry.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m stupid I thought they meant I thought you meant they were just like, oh, yeah, no worries.
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you re like left Yeah, they didn t take me to jail in that moment.
0
SPEAKER_00
But going to jail is still definitely a possibility But that s not even that s only half the problem So I am an undocumented immigrant from Mexico and
0
SPEAKER_00
So now I m worried that I could be deported.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I don t know shit about Mexico.
0
SPEAKER_00
I ve been here my entire life.
0
SPEAKER_00
I came to the US when I was one year old.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, really?
0
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so you weren t born here, but you came here as a little baby.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s right.
0
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
0
SPEAKER_01
And really, even after being here for 24 years, they can still deport you?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I guess so.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, all right.
0
SPEAKER_01
Listen, here s the thing.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I m just going to before we dive all of any further into this conversation, which is a conversation I m happy to have with you.
0
SPEAKER_01
I want you to know that I am not a lawyer.
0
SPEAKER_01
OK, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if you caught on to that.
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if you were calling me in lieu of legal advice, but I just thought I would throw that out there that I m not a lawyer.
0
SPEAKER_01
So this conversation is going to be mainly two dumb asses, you know, figuring it out.
0
SPEAKER_01
Right.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Have you consulted with a lawyer?
0
SPEAKER_00
I ve been asking around.
0
SPEAKER_00
I ve sent a couple emails.
0
SPEAKER_00
I haven t gotten any responses.
0
SPEAKER_00
I ve talked to my sister about how I m going to tell my parents that I got pulled over and got a cocaine charge.
0
SPEAKER_01
And when you, when you, I mean, I assume you ve like, have you done, uh, can I get deported for drug possession Reddit as a Google search and seeing what people say?
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, people on Reddit aren t lawyers either, but okay, well, let s say.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, well, I guess my unique is, I mean, my, my case is very unique because I didn t find shit.
0
SPEAKER_01
Why is your case unique?
0
SPEAKER_00
Well, it might not be unique, but it s just I haven t I looked on the internet.
0
SPEAKER_00
I didn t really find anything useful.
0
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I guess the only thing that I really found was like, oh, yeah, you can definitely be deported.
0
SPEAKER_01
Have you ever spoken with a immigration lawyer?
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, I m curious.
0
SPEAKER_01
So are you re not you re not a citizen of the United States?
0
SPEAKER_00
No, I m I m undocumented.
0
SPEAKER_00
Actually, that s.
0
SPEAKER_00
Being undocumented has really fucked me up a lot in life, but I m getting by.
0
SPEAKER_00
I ve done a lot of cool shit, like I started my own company.
0
SPEAKER_00
Anyways, yeah, it s real stressful.
0
SPEAKER_01
So, like, what s the process, right?
0
SPEAKER_01
Because, look, Mami, you ve been here since you were one years old.
0
SPEAKER_01
You ve got the voice of a John Smith.
0
SPEAKER_01
How come you can t become a fucking citizen after 24 years?
0
SPEAKER_00
You know what?
0
SPEAKER_00
I think it s just current politics.
0
SPEAKER_00
This whole immigration reform stuff is a super gray area where nothing that should move with baby steps.
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, have you tried?
0
SPEAKER_01
So, okay, with all this stuff, I guess before calling me, have you called a immigration lawyer or I guess any type of lawyer?
0
SPEAKER_00
So my parents were handling all of that.
0
SPEAKER_00
So years back, my dad was assaulted by a crackhead.
0
SPEAKER_00
And so he qualifies for a U visa and he can sponsor his whole family for a U visa.
0
SPEAKER_00
So I ve been in that process for
0
SPEAKER_00
years now.
0
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what the status of that is, but... I m confused.
0
SPEAKER_01
How is your dad getting assaulted?
0
SPEAKER_01
So if you re assaulted by a crackhead, you can just get a visa?
0
SPEAKER_00
Apparently, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s called a U visa.
0
SPEAKER_01
How does that work?
0
SPEAKER_00
I have no idea.
0
SPEAKER_00
My parents are the ones handling all of that.
0
SPEAKER_00
And unfortunately, I never bothered to ask.
0
SPEAKER_01
Just two non-lawyer dumbasses figuring it out.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s what I said it would be, and that s what it is.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um... Well, I mean, alright, man.
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, like... Uh... Okay, so you ve... How could... Alright.
0
SPEAKER_01
So listen.
0
SPEAKER_01
It sounds to me like your parents have been the ones figuring all this shit out, and, uh, talking to lawyers, and doing the paperwork, and this and that and the other thing.
0
SPEAKER_01
Which...
0
SPEAKER_01
But, but, but, but listen, man, you re 25 years old.
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, you know, you can t, you can t call up a lawyer.
0
SPEAKER_00
I could, but, um, I haven t because I guess I m just irresponsible.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um,
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, dude, what what I mean call it call a lawyer call a lawyer I almost don t want to keep it I I m happy to keep talking to you because you seem like a cool guy, but I almost don t want to keep we ve we ve That s that s my if you wanted stone-cold advice.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s my stone-cold advice is to call a lawyer.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah Well
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s probably what I should do.
0
SPEAKER_00
I have no idea why you haven t yet.
0
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I emailed the lawyer.
0
SPEAKER_00
You know, I just I just I just I just been I ve just been busy.
0
SPEAKER_00
You know, you busy doing what?
0
SPEAKER_01
How is this not?
0
SPEAKER_01
How is what?
0
SPEAKER_01
OK, tell me the things.
0
SPEAKER_01
Tell me.
0
SPEAKER_01
Tell me everything that s on the higher that s that s higher on your priority list than than not getting deported.
0
SPEAKER_00
OK, well, I mean, nothing, but
0
SPEAKER_00
I know you talk about how your bar for crazy lives is pretty high, but I do think I live a pretty crazy life.
0
SPEAKER_00
Is that related to you not calling a lawyer?
0
SPEAKER_01
Go ahead.
0
SPEAKER_00
Sorry, go ahead.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m just busy, so I m a DJ, producer, and I run... Dude, I m sorry, I don t want to keep interrupting you, but...
0
SPEAKER_00
No, no, it s okay.
0
SPEAKER_00
Go ahead.
0
SPEAKER_00
You finish.
0
SPEAKER_01
You finish.
0
SPEAKER_00
You finish.
0
SPEAKER_00
I promote a lot of the raves that happen in the Bay Area.
0
SPEAKER_00
Some of the venues, if you re from the Bay Area and you know the rave venues for like bass music, dubstep or whatever.
0
SPEAKER_00
I either throw them or know the people that throw them.
1
SPEAKER_01
and promote them and yeah that s a lot for me to do and then on top of that going to work.
1
SPEAKER_02
Joey, Joey, Joey.
1
SPEAKER_02
Take a little break from mixing and call a fucking lawyer.
1
SPEAKER_01
I should call a lawyer.
1
SPEAKER_01
You should call a lawyer dude, what are you doing?
1
SPEAKER_01
I, I, I am going to lunch.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was going to lunch.
1
SPEAKER_02
Joey, I wanna, I mean, I say I wanna help you, but I literally cannot, I have no skills to do stuff.
1
SPEAKER_02
Okay, how about this?
1
SPEAKER_02
This sounds like, okay, this sounds like a higher, look, all the rave stuff, it sounds cool, but this sounds like a significantly higher priority than your raves.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
How about this?
1
SPEAKER_01
How do you think I should,
1
SPEAKER_01
Anything I should tell my die-hard Catholic parents that I m getting this cocaine shot?
1
SPEAKER_02
Make it a hidden message in one of your songs and play it for them.
1
SPEAKER_02
Invite them to one of your raves and then as part of like on the projector you can put your subpoena on there.
1
SPEAKER_02
That sounds horrible Also, yeah, by the way, here s my friend Look you you re here 25 years old.
1
SPEAKER_02
I mean you can Your parents don t have to be a part of this if you don t even want them to I live with them and They don t charge me for rent
1
SPEAKER_02
How do you afford all this cocaine?
1
SPEAKER_01
Uh, I have a pretty, pretty good job.
1
SPEAKER_01
I, uh, fix cars like a auto body technician and, uh, they don t pay me enough, but I do make a decent amount.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
I only started, I only started doing, you know,
1
SPEAKER_01
I only started doing drugs this past year.
1
SPEAKER_02
Well, so if you get deported to Mexico, what are you going to do?
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, you know, I try to be, uh, I try to be stoic about it, but, but it s a, it s a lot to, uh, you know, I ve built my entire life here and I have, you know, things going on here.
1
SPEAKER_01
So if I get deported, then.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t... I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_01
I really don t know.
1
SPEAKER_01
But I have... It does sound like I should call a lawyer.
1
SPEAKER_02
Do you speak Spanish?
1
SPEAKER_02
I assume you speak Spanish.
1
SPEAKER_01
Uh, a little bit.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s broken, but I do speak it.
1
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_02
I, you could have a listen.
1
SPEAKER_02
Here s the thing.
1
SPEAKER_02
I don t think you re good.
1
SPEAKER_02
I want it.
1
SPEAKER_02
I want to reassure you and say, I don t think you re going to get deported, but I don t want to lie to you.
1
SPEAKER_02
I have no idea.
1
SPEAKER_02
That s why I should call a lawyer.
1
SPEAKER_02
Um, but you know, but here s what I do.
1
SPEAKER_02
I m not going to say you re not going to get deported, but here s what I do think.
1
SPEAKER_02
Uh, Joey is, um, and I liked, I think part of stoicism is, is
1
SPEAKER_02
Rolling with whatever the fuck happens because you know life is crazy and sometimes Things don t always go your way So look if you do get deported to Mexico Why don t you just become the big ones just become a famous Mexican DJ?
1
SPEAKER_02
Why don t you do underground Mexican raves?
1
SPEAKER_02
That sounds cool?
1
SPEAKER_02
That s fun.
1
SPEAKER_02
That s not the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh Man, I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean I
1
SPEAKER_01
Does Mexico have a good, you know, bass music scene?
1
SPEAKER_02
Well, you should call a lawyer so that you never have to figure out the answer to that question.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, I should call a lawyer.
1
SPEAKER_02
I think you ll be fine whatever happens to you.
1
SPEAKER_02
You seem like a nice guy.
1
SPEAKER_01
I try to be.
1
SPEAKER_01
You sound tall.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m not that tall.
1
SPEAKER_02
Joey, I, well, okay, before I let you go, is there any, I mean, I feel like the answer is no, but is there any other way that I could help you with this?
1
SPEAKER_01
Um, um, I m thinking about it, you know?
1
SPEAKER_01
Not really.
1
SPEAKER_01
I think I, I think I, I think I got to call a lawyer.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I think so, too.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, man.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, this is going to be a fucking... It s going to be a fucking issue.
1
SPEAKER_01
But I ll get through it.
1
SPEAKER_02
You ll get through it.
1
SPEAKER_02
You ll get through it.
1
SPEAKER_02
I think you ll get through it.
1
SPEAKER_02
I think you ll get through it.
1
SPEAKER_02
Although it would be, it would be sick to like, um, uh, it would be sick to like be at a, like a Mexican.
1
SPEAKER_02
I was at a, I was at a Mexican, uh, pizza place the other day and I was just watching, there was like a TV on and it was like the, the, the news in Mexico.
1
SPEAKER_02
And, uh, I was, I don t, I don t, I don t, I know like two words of Spanish since I didn t know what was going on.
1
SPEAKER_02
It would be cool to one day go back to that pizza place, and I just see you on the news You know jamming out Yeah, I mean isn t the Joey s anything else gonna say the people the computer before we go Well
1
SPEAKER_01
It s going to be okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
And, uh, and if you re in the Bay area, uh, go to base raves.
1
SPEAKER_02
And if you re in the, I m going to, I m going to, I m going to, I m going to stomp over you.
1
SPEAKER_02
And I m going to say, if you re in the Bay area and you re an immigration or criminal lawyer, give this man a call.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yes, please.
1
SPEAKER_02
Uh, thank you for calling Joey.
1
SPEAKER_02
Have a good one.
1
SPEAKER_02
Good luck.
1
SPEAKER_01
You too.
1
SPEAKER_01
Goodbye.
1
SPEAKER_02
Hey folks, it s Lyle.
1
SPEAKER_02
I m here to tell you that tickets for my Therapy Gecko live show are available right now at therapygeckotour.com in several cities across the United States.
1
SPEAKER_02
Or you can find them at the link in the episode description.
1
SPEAKER_02
Also, if you don t see your city on the list of cities, please still click the link and RSVP with your phone number so I can contact you when tickets go on sale for your city, because I m going to announce a bunch more dates very soon.
1
SPEAKER_02
If you ve never been to one of my live shows before, they are extremely fun, unpredictable, wild evenings that involve a mix of group gecko therapy sessions, as well as some material and presentations from myself.
1
SPEAKER_02
And if you ve been to the show before, I have new presentations and will, of course, be interviewing new people.
1
SPEAKER_02
If you re a fan of the podcast, you re gonna have a great time at the live show, so I hope to see you guys there.
1
SPEAKER_02
Go to therapygeckotour.com or check the link in the episode description for a full list of cities where tickets are available.
1
SPEAKER_02
Geck bless.
1
SPEAKER_02
Hello?
1
SPEAKER_00
Hello.
1
SPEAKER_02
Hi, who is this?
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, I m Sarah.
1
SPEAKER_02
Sarah.
1
SPEAKER_02
Hi, Sarah.
1
SPEAKER_02
What s up?
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, I was just gaming and then you started streaming.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I m just pausing my game, shaking it, being caught by you.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_02
Sarah, what s going on?
1
SPEAKER_02
How s how s life?
1
SPEAKER_02
How can I get you today?
1
SPEAKER_02
I see that you you are calling from Germany.
1
SPEAKER_00
I am, yes.
1
SPEAKER_00
Life is kind of crazy right now.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
Depends on what you re interested in, I guess.
1
SPEAKER_02
Well, I will let you have the floor as to explaining why life is crazy.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, okay, so just for the viewers, I m 24.
1
SPEAKER_00
Just as context, I guess, my 50-year-old mom has cancer.
1
SPEAKER_00
So that s going on in my life currently.
1
SPEAKER_00
Besides that, I m writing my bachelor s thesis and struggling in life like everyone, I guess.
1
SPEAKER_02
Now, you mentioned in your texts that one of the things you wanted to talk about is that you have a beard.
1
SPEAKER_00
I grow more facial hair than a normal cis woman does, I guess, yes.
1
SPEAKER_02
Was there anything in particular about that that
2
SPEAKER_00
you wanted to talk about?
2
SPEAKER_01
Um, I did want to talk about that.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because it is treated by chronic illness.
2
SPEAKER_01
It makes me very sad on like a daily basis.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know why but I feel like everyone in Germany s is got to be miserable.
2
SPEAKER_01
Why would you say that?
2
SPEAKER_01
Weren t you in Germany, like, last year?
2
SPEAKER_00
I was, yeah, I was.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, I mean, you guys tried really hard to, um, you know, kill everyone, and you failed.
2
SPEAKER_00
And you gotta live with that L.
2
SPEAKER_00
And you know what s crazy?
2
SPEAKER_00
That wasn t even a hundred years ago.
2
SPEAKER_00
There s still people alive from when you guys did that.
2
SPEAKER_01
And the worst thing about that is that I guess people like that with that mindset are returning and it s not good.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I will not get political like that right now.
2
SPEAKER_00
Are there Nazis in Germany still?
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
And not to alarm anyone out there in the world, but like the right wing party we have is gaining a lot, a lot of a lot of votes right now.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it s very scary.
2
SPEAKER_00
Interesting.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, I guess it s never I guess I guess you can feel confident in the fact that it s peaked.
2
SPEAKER_01
I hope that s the truth.
2
SPEAKER_01
I really do hope that s the truth.
2
SPEAKER_00
It seems like it s peaked.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if you guys are going to be able to do all that stuff again.
2
SPEAKER_00
I think that you guys peaked.
2
SPEAKER_00
Germany peaked.
2
SPEAKER_00
Germany peaked, unfortunately.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s the thing.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s why everyone s sad there, because this is a bunch of people walking around who peaked.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s like people who were popular in high school and now are just losers.
2
SPEAKER_00
I ll have to ask everyone in my life now if they think Germany has peaked Well, what else you guys got currywurst, that s awesome
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, did you have some when you were in Berlin last year?
2
SPEAKER_00
I was.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was like, when I had it, I was like, this is so good.
2
SPEAKER_00
I almost wish that Germany won World War II so that they sold it everywhere.
2
SPEAKER_01
I would be happy for the rest of the world if they also had currywurst, as we call it, without an accent.
2
SPEAKER_00
Alright, so you re in Germany.
2
SPEAKER_00
You re a person.
2
SPEAKER_00
You re alive on Earth.
2
SPEAKER_00
What game were you playing when I interrupted you with my phone call?
2
SPEAKER_01
I was playing Life is Strange 2.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
I ve heard of that one.
2
SPEAKER_00
Is it any good?
2
SPEAKER_01
Um, I ve actually played it before.
2
SPEAKER_01
This is a replay.
2
SPEAKER_01
Um, I m just on the first episode, but so far I m enjoying it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I guess.
2
SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
2
SPEAKER_00
Um, well, well, all right.
2
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I guess I ll say this, Sarah, is there like, what would you like from this phone call?
2
SPEAKER_00
I ll ask you that question.
2
SPEAKER_01
Um,
2
SPEAKER_01
I would like to, I don t know, put myself out there, my troubles, and maybe finally feel like I can be understood.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because every time I ve tried, I feel like I failed.
2
SPEAKER_01
And maybe since you have a bigger audience, there will be somebody that can understand me and my struggles a little bit.
2
SPEAKER_01
Sure, well go I ll let you have the floor Okay, um, I guess I ll just talk about what I texted you about Lila if that s okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
Sure
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so, um, I was, well, I am a cis woman.
2
SPEAKER_01
I do identify as a cis woman more or less, um, but I have a chronic illness that messes with my hormones and that means that every morning I have to, well, shave off my beard and, like, genuinely I have, like, more facial hair growth than
2
SPEAKER_01
a woman would have and it s really depressing there s no day that I don t look in the mirror where I m like do people notice this and do people think less of me because they don t see me maybe fully as a woman and it s just very hard to deal with this every single day.
2
SPEAKER_01
Should I just continue or do we have something to say to this?
2
SPEAKER_00
You can continue.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so I do try to, I guess, cover
2
SPEAKER_01
the shadow this facial hair shows on my face with makeup but I still feel like it can cover up especially like the my emotions that I have inside that I feel like maybe this
2
SPEAKER_01
chronic illness will be the cause of me never being fully happy.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because when I think of maybe being in a relationship in my future, I m like, you know, from movies, you know, this wonderful scene where you wake up in the morning and it s sunny outside and you just wake up with your partner and you re happy and everything s good.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I feel like I ll never have that because the first thing I will do in the morning when I wake up maybe next to a future partner will be worrying about what I look like if my facial hair is grown up too much and if I just don t look lovable.
2
SPEAKER_00
So you re growing out a full beard, like how big of a beard are we talking?
2
SPEAKER_01
It s not like a full beard, it s my upper lip and my chin area is like, when I wake up in the morning, it s like proper stubble, like you can see it, it s visible.
2
SPEAKER_00
And it grows, and it grows, even if you shave it off, it grows immediately every morning.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay, let s say for example If I shave in the morning at like 5 a.m.
2
SPEAKER_01
For whatever reason I m up at 5 Like in the evening at 8 p.m.
2
SPEAKER_01
I d say you can already like feel Stubble growing out on my chin.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah Now is this something now when you when you speak to?
2
SPEAKER_00
The doctors what do they tell you about about how you can deal with this?
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, the problem is, since this is caused by hormones, I can try and do, I guess, what would be called laser therapy on my facial hair, but the thing is, there s no certainty that it will help.
2
SPEAKER_00
They re like and you should talk to a doctor and not a gecko about this, but isn t there like Can you like take pills and shit to kind of regulate your hormones better
2
SPEAKER_01
The thing is, I could take contraception, birth control, but I also have really bad migraines, which means I can t take birth control with estrogen, because that increases my risk of having a stroke.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I know I should talk more to my doctor about this, but I also am really bad with going to a doctor and having to deal with this because it s already on my mind every single day.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I just can t deal with that increased pressure.
2
SPEAKER_00
But I don t OK, that doesn t make sense to me.
2
SPEAKER_00
So why?
2
SPEAKER_00
But but going to a doctor and dealing with it will help you with the issue so that it s not on your mind every single
2
SPEAKER_01
day like why are you why are you avoiding going to a doctor um i guess it s just a problem i kind of have in general not doing what i m supposed to like not emailing my uni professor when i really should and then putting it off for months and then just worrying and that s a problem i have in general
3
SPEAKER_01
but I don t know it s just having to deal with this having to explain it to somebody who maybe doesn t really get my struggles and I don t know it s just it s kind of hard
3
SPEAKER_00
um god i wi i sarah i wish i had something better to tell you than to just go see a doctor i really do but i don t but i don t i really don t i think you should go see a doctor or a professional because here s the thing if i were if you told if i were like
3
SPEAKER_00
If I were like a guy who went to medical school and knew things about science I could like I m so useless to you right now I really am you should go talk to a doctor about these items Um, okay two things one.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes, you re so right I should go talk to a doctor and I will again hopefully in the future and very soon and two I wouldn t say that you re like
3
SPEAKER_01
uses in this situation because I didn t come here for medical advice.
3
SPEAKER_01
I came here to have some fun talking to a gecko and maybe have you tell me that even though I struggle that, you know, there s reasons to be happy or something.
3
SPEAKER_00
Um, alright, reasons to be happy.
3
SPEAKER_00
Let s think about that.
3
SPEAKER_00
Reasons to be happy.
3
SPEAKER_01
I already have one right now, actually, not to be cheesy, but... Go ahead, please.
3
SPEAKER_01
I have been listening to you, like, at work, which, and my work is terribly mundane.
3
SPEAKER_01
A lot, like, for the past year or even a bit more than it always cheers me up, and it s very nice to be able to talk to you right now.
3
SPEAKER_00
That makes me happy.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s a reason for me to be happy.
3
SPEAKER_00
Reasons to be happy.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t know about reasons to be happy.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m trying to figure out those for myself.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ve googled.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is a pathetic thing to admit, but whatever.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ve googled
3
SPEAKER_00
Recently, this is not like a thing I did when I was like in high school.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is a reason like Several times over the past year.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ve just googled how to be happy.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m like, what are the basics?
3
SPEAKER_00
What did the doctors recommend like you go on Healthline and it s like you go in the Sun Have friends and don t eat like shit.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s what that s what it says so Yeah quote to quote Google
3
SPEAKER_00
Have friends, go in the sun, and don t eat like shit.
3
SPEAKER_00
Don t eat all those, uh, currywursts.
3
SPEAKER_01
But the thing is, isn t eating like shit the, like, most enjoyable thing to do?
3
SPEAKER_01
Sure is.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, dude, that s why God- that s why life fucking sucks.
3
SPEAKER_00
You called it- you called- see, you- you called in wanting me to, like, um...
3
SPEAKER_00
give be motivating but i i mean yeah life is crazy it s crazy there s all this delicious food and um you if you eat it you die and um you fall in love with people and uh they try to kill you and um you know you get drafted into wars
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, yeah, it s crazy.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s crazy.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s crazy out there.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s crazy.
3
SPEAKER_01
So are you saying that maybe I should embrace the fact that life s life fucking sucks and just be happy then when it actually doesn t?
3
SPEAKER_00
Is that a conclusion that you re coming to on your own as we re having this conversation right now?
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, maybe a little bit.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, because I mean, I don t think it s good to be pessimistic all the time.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m a bit too pessimistic, but maybe it helps a bit to appreciate when life doesn t suck and to appreciate like, being happy or having like small happy moments.
3
SPEAKER_00
See, here s the thing, Sarah, is I actually don t think what you needed was somebody to be optimistic.
3
SPEAKER_00
I actually think if you re pessimistic, what you need is to talk to somebody who s even more pessimistic.
3
SPEAKER_00
So that way you can go, ugh, I don t want to sound like that fucking guy.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
3
SPEAKER_00
And then you come to these conclusions on your own.
3
SPEAKER_00
Which you did, because you said, you were like, you said to me, are you saying that, um, I should be, uh, you know, accept that life sucks and to be happy anyway.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I don t want to, I don t want, I don t want to take that.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s a conclusion you came to on your own, you know?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s true.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I know it s sometimes you do sometimes you do gotta throw your fucking hands up and be like alright well I I can t control whatever cards were levied upon me in this universe, but I can control how I deal with it and I think I don t I don t know I wish I had a better thing for you other than telling you to go to a doctor, but that s that s I
3
SPEAKER_00
You should totally go.
3
SPEAKER_00
I assume you ve been to a doctor to talk about this before, at least once.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, multiple times, multiple doctors in my life, not just for this issue.
3
SPEAKER_01
But yes, I have.
3
SPEAKER_01
I just haven t like in the last year about this anymore.
3
SPEAKER_00
What made you stop in the first place?
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, probably the fact that, um, well, if I go to a doctor about this a lot of the time, since it s a gynecologist and it also, um, um, combines with having to, you know, spread my legs open for the doctor and it s not the most pleasant thing ever.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Sorry to be so, I guess, crass about it, but it s just the truth.
3
SPEAKER_00
Um,
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, I, I m, I, if, if it, if, if a gecko telling you to go to the doctor is helpful in any way, shape, or form.
3
SPEAKER_00
I will tell you to go to the doctor because I think he s he s the he or she s the one who s gonna Germany s progressive they have all kinds of doctors yeah that s true if if the doctor tells you to do so I don t want to I don t want to I don t want to patronize you by explaining what doctors do oh no you should you should go to the doctor Sarah
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay, well, that s a great motivation for me, actually, to hear from you.
3
SPEAKER_01
Maybe it will actually motivate me to call in and get an appointment soon.
3
SPEAKER_00
Is there anything else that you wanted to say or talk about before we go?
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, you know, I listened to one of your podcast episodes recently and you asked somebody at the end if they want to, I don t know, was it give a shout out to a band or something?
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah, sure.
3
SPEAKER_00
You can give a shout out to a band.
3
SPEAKER_00
You got a band?
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s not my band.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s just a band I like to listen to.
3
SPEAKER_00
Hit us.
3
SPEAKER_00
What is it?
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so the band is from the UK.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s called Boston Manor.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think they re releasing a new album soon.
3
SPEAKER_01
So give that a try and support them.
3
SPEAKER_01
I love them a lot.
3
SPEAKER_00
Boston Manor.
3
SPEAKER_00
Everyone check out Boston Manor from the UK.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
Thank you, Sarah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Good luck and enjoy playing your game and eating food and living life.
3
SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
3
SPEAKER_01
You enjoy eating food too, Lyle.
3
SPEAKER_01
Thank you very much.
3
SPEAKER_00
Bye, Sarah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Bye.
3
SPEAKER_00
Hello?
3
SPEAKER_00
Hi, what s up?
3
SPEAKER_00
Is this the Gek?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes, sir.
3
SPEAKER_00
Who is this?
3
SPEAKER_00
I m fucking shaking.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh my god.
3
SPEAKER_00
What s your name, cowboy?
3
SPEAKER_00
Should I use my real name?
3
SPEAKER_00
No, don t.
3
SPEAKER_00
Alright, you know what?
3
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna stop.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know what I m gonna do?
3
SPEAKER_00
Because I do this thing where I forget everybody s name.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m just gonna give people names.
3
SPEAKER_00
Because I don t... Nobody should be using their real name on this fucking thing anyway.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I m not gonna ask anyone what their name is anymore.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m just gonna give you a name.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, alright.
3
SPEAKER_00
Your name... is Jonathan.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s stupid.
3
SPEAKER_00
No, your name is Jonathan, but I m gonna call you John for short.
3
SPEAKER_00
John!
3
SPEAKER_00
What s up?
3
SPEAKER_00
How s life?
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, life is complicated.
3
SPEAKER_00
I cannot believe I got a call from you.
3
SPEAKER_00
Life is complicated.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, John, why is life complicated besides the obvious reasons?
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, what do you think the obvious reasons are?
4
SPEAKER_00
Um, what are the obvious reasons as to why life is complicated?
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, I mean, life, well, I mean, I guess the goal of life.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, and there s all sorts of different goals of life.
4
SPEAKER_00
But happiness, I think, is the one that people want the most.
4
SPEAKER_00
And happiness is a fickle and complex thing.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I m not I m not I don t want to wax poetic about bullshit.
4
SPEAKER_00
I want to hear what what, why your life in particular feels complicated.
4
SPEAKER_01
I would say there s a lot going on in my life right now.
4
SPEAKER_00
You texted me and you said, my name is, am I going to say your name?
4
SPEAKER_00
You said, I m 20 years old and I think I have a sex addiction.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I think it s, I don t know if sex addiction is the right way to put it.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think it s a, it s a, it s a lack of sort of,
4
SPEAKER_01
How would I put it?
4
SPEAKER_01
It s a lack of directed emotional connection.
4
SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
4
SPEAKER_00
A lack of emotion, a lack of directed emotional connection.
4
SPEAKER_00
Tell me more.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think that I ve asked you that I, that I use sort of sexual relationships to make up for.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
4
SPEAKER_00
In what way?
4
SPEAKER_00
Like, are you having sex with a lot of different people to make up for having, like, an emotional connection with any of them?
4
SPEAKER_01
I think it s sort of like, I don t see myself having an emotional connection with any of them, but I continue to have sexual relationships with them because it sort of fills a small part of that gap of what I m hoping for, searching for.
4
SPEAKER_00
What are you hoping for and searching for?
4
SPEAKER_01
Do you desire a direct emotional connection?
4
SPEAKER_01
feel I would want that with yet or the people that I have felt like I wanted that with hasn t been a reciprocation.
4
SPEAKER_00
Tell me about the type of person that you would want to have a direct emotional connection with.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think it s someone that
4
SPEAKER_01
There has to be a vibe.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t know any better way to put it.
4
SPEAKER_01
There has to be an easiness to it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, seriously, you can say vibe, but if you really think about it, this vibe, if you thought about it, you could put it into words, right?
4
SPEAKER_00
Like, do you desire to be with somebody who you feel comfortable in silence around?
4
SPEAKER_00
Somebody whose lifestyle could easily integrate into yours?
4
SPEAKER_00
somebody who you feel like is on the same intellectual level as you, somebody who you re deeply physically attracted to, somebody who you feel like has the same sense of humor, like these, what you call a vibe can be described in different ways, and I m curious, when you think about this vibe, what ways you come up with.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, absolutely.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think it s sort of... I think when I m looking for a romantic relationship,
4
SPEAKER_01
It s someone that, it s that same sort of connection that I have with someone that s just a friend to me.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like a very good friend where I connect with them on a comedic level and like I can have deep conversations with them and there s that comfortableness and silence but also the ability to like talk to them about really anything that I m going through or they re going through.
4
SPEAKER_00
And why do you say that you have a sex addiction?
4
SPEAKER_00
Is it because you feel like you re just using like what Tommy in your head?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I think I think Rethinking that I think Sex addiction wasn t maybe wasn t the right way to put it.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think it s more of a use of sex to to fill a gap, which I don t know would be I don t know if that would be necessarily
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if that would fit into the realm or definition of a sex addiction.
4
SPEAKER_00
But you said that you re using sex to avoid this emotion.
4
SPEAKER_00
Is that true or is that just the narrative you ve crafted?
4
SPEAKER_00
Are you using sex to avoid something?
4
SPEAKER_01
No, I don t think I m using it to avoid anything.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think it s just sort of a filler.
4
SPEAKER_00
Does the sex that you have with these people, does that leave... Does it get you into trouble?
4
SPEAKER_00
Does it lead you unfulfilled?
4
SPEAKER_00
Does it leave other people confused?
4
SPEAKER_00
Are there any problems arising out of this behavior from you or from the people you re having sex with?
4
SPEAKER_01
I think it s... I don t think it...
4
SPEAKER_01
I think if anything, it causes more problems for myself.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
Uh, because like by partaking in it, I sort of pull myself away from like that search within myself, sort of give myself the, the, how would I put it?
4
SPEAKER_01
The space to
4
SPEAKER_01
find myself and within finding myself more space to find a person within my life that I would want to, that I have the ability or want to pursue something further with.
4
SPEAKER_00
Look at this guy.
4
SPEAKER_00
He just therapy geckoed himself.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s what my therapist always says I do.
4
SPEAKER_00
Um, that s great.
4
SPEAKER_00
Your therapist, it sounds like, makes a lot of money for doing absolutely nothing.
4
SPEAKER_00
No, I m just kidding.
4
SPEAKER_00
Um... So... Okay, alright, so you know, alright, so you ve, you re, I m assuming if your therapist has said that to you, that, uh, you ve come to this conclusion multiple times.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like, this is not, this is not a lightbulb moment that you re having on the phone with me right now.
4
SPEAKER_00
This is something that you ve, you ve come to yourself before.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it s definitely something that I ve, I mean, I think this conclusion is definitely something I ve come to with myself before.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s not something that I ve actually talked with my therapist a lot about.
4
SPEAKER_01
There s certainly a thing that s come up, but not something that s talked about a lot.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I definitely talked about it with my friends a good amount.
4
SPEAKER_00
So so I mean so you ve come to the conclusion that the the kind of meaningless sex is just taking you away from Like the the the the search as you call it Within yourself Yeah, I d say so that s a smart that s a smart thing to know about yourself And I yeah, I think it it sort of I
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I mean, I think it also sort of... It definitely leaves me with a feeling of... Yeah, there s definitely a dissatisfaction with it as well.
4
SPEAKER_01
Just in terms of...
4
SPEAKER_01
Like I like I do.
4
SPEAKER_01
I do a good job of making my intentions clear.
4
SPEAKER_01
With people them.
4
SPEAKER_01
Hooking up with their.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, I think I do, I feel like I do a good job of of not leading like a person on.
4
SPEAKER_00
So so, John, I guess
4
SPEAKER_00
Before we go...
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, I mean, tell me this.
5
SPEAKER_00
All right, so you ve come to this conclusion about yourself.
5
SPEAKER_00
And now, as we all know, as we all know, as we ve learned time and time and time again, the body, more specifically the penis, will act in ways that conflict with the logic of the brain.
5
SPEAKER_00
Absolutely.
5
SPEAKER_00
But... What s your name again?
5
SPEAKER_00
John.
5
SPEAKER_00
John, you are a, uh... You are a human being... of... How should I put this?
5
SPEAKER_00
You are- You are- You are a higher being... than the ape... than the- the dog... What a- I don t have a third animal.
5
SPEAKER_00
You are a higher being... and thus- Perhaps than the- than the gecko.
5
SPEAKER_00
Then the gecko, yes.
5
SPEAKER_00
And thus, you have the ability to use your brain over your penis.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I wish you luck in fighting that good fight, my friend.
5
SPEAKER_00
Thank you, Geck.
5
SPEAKER_00
Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
5
SPEAKER_01
It s been a pleasure talking with you and people of the internet.
5
SPEAKER_01
Take your time.
5
SPEAKER_00
Hey, you too, man.
5
SPEAKER_00
See you around.
5
SPEAKER_01
See you around.