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 Welcome to the School of Greatness.
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My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur.
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And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness.
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Thanks for spending some time with me today.
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Now let the class begin.
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 For today's episode, I wanted to give you a little tough love, and we're going to discuss the seven hard truths about making your dreams come true.
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Now, these truths come from the themes and patterns that I've gathered from countless conversations with some of the world's top athletes, best-selling authors, billionaires, investors, and more.
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 And I'm calling them the hard truths because over the years, I've found that not everyone is ready to hear these things.
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And I'm curious, are you ready to hear them?
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And some of you might be putting off a certain truth or avoiding them altogether, thinking there's a way around them.
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And I can't speak for everyone in the world, but I've found that realizing and accepting these seven is absolutely essential to achieving your dreams and reaching your full potential.
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 potential.
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And I also want to make these actionable.
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So during the show, I'll walk through each one and then I'll discuss what you can do to make sure that you don't fall into the traps that come from not following that truth.
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So no matter where you are at in your journey, whether you're just starting out, you're starting over, or you've already seen massive success in your life or something in between, I hope you'll find these truths as valuable as I do, as I need these reminders as much as anyone.
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 Now get out a piece of paper or a notebook and a pen or pencil and let's go ahead and dive in and get started.
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 According to the latest research, 90% of employers plan to make enhancing the employee experience a top priority in 2022.
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And after all, a happy workplace is key to attracting and keeping great employees.
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Keeping a workplace happy all comes down to a focus on company culture and making sure each employee knows their value, not only to the company, but also to the world.
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 I think every business owner is on the hunt for more valuable people to add to their company right now.
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I know we are here at Greatness Media and that's where ZipRecruiter comes in.
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Their matching technology helps you find the right people for your roles fast.
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Right now, you can try ZipRecruiter for free at ziprecruiter.com.
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 As their powerful technology gets to work, you can easily review the recommended candidates and invite your top choices to apply for your job, which encourages them to apply faster.
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No wonder ZipRecruiter is the number one rated hiring site in the US based on G2 ratings.
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Find the right employees for your workplace with ZipRecruiter.
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Try it for free at this exclusive web address, ziprecruiter.com.
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 That's ZipRecruiter.com slash G-R-E-A-T-N-E-S-S.
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ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire.
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I definitely have my favorite type of workouts, but I think we can all agree that changing them up often makes it easier to stay excited for our fitness goals each day.
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And of course, it can be hard to always come up with new types of workout routines, which is why I love Peloton.
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 They are always coming out with new stuff to help switch up your exercises.
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The Peloton Bike and Bike Plus are releasing new classes, new music and new ways to keep your workouts fun and motivating.
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And guess what, I'm super excited about this.
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Peloton is adding boxing to their workout lineups, with no gloves needed.
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I've recently been getting into boxing and let me tell you, it's an incredible workout, it's super fun and it's a great way to get your exercise in.
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 Even if you've never boxed before, these classes will have you working up a sweat while working on the fundamentals of form, footwork and fun combos that will keep you on your toes.
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Visit OnePeloton.com to learn more.
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That's O-N-E-P-E-L-O-T-O-N.com The Hard Truth 1.
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 Your network matters.
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Now, I like to say that one relationship can change your life forever, and I've seen it happen time and time again for myself and so many others.
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You're only one relationship away from accomplishing almost any dream that you have or setting you up for that.
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Who you know can have a massive impact on your success in the business world specifically, but also in the professional marketplace and anywhere else, maybe even your love life.
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 And this is where I hear some people complaining about how someone doesn't have the talent necessary to be where they are in their career.
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And I usually challenge their thinking because you don't just need only talent.
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Sure, maybe the person isn't as naturally gifted as someone else in their field, but they might have worked their butt off to make the right connections.
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 They might have flown all over the country or all over the world to get their foot in the door with the right people or they might just be really amazing person who brings joy to everyone they interact with and they attract quality individuals.
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The reality is people tend to work
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 with who they know and who they like and who they trust.
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So talent isn't the end-all be-all.
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Who you know often matters more than what you know.
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And if you play your cards right over time, then hopefully down the line, you'll be on top of mind when someone in your circle needs to hire a person with your skill set.
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And that could be design work, if you're a graphic designer or a marketing consultant, if that's your area of expertise, a choreographer or anything, you name it and it's possible.
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 And if you don't know anyone who's well established in your industry or who's got a big network, there's no need to get discouraged.
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Luckily, there are plenty of other ways to connect nowadays.
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And it used to be that you needed to live in one of the big cities somewhere to meet the right people.
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 But today we have the internet and social media.
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Location doesn't hold as much weight as it used to.
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We've got so many tools like LinkedIn and Instagram or YouTube to start getting noticed by anyone around the world.
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And because of this, I was connecting with high profile people in my industry when I was living in Ohio in much the same way as I am out here in LA because I was using social media to connect with people.
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And despite this accessibility though, I see so many people approaching networking
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 In a horrible way and this usually boils down to the person making everything about themselves they approach connecting with someone in a Transactional way versus trying to find ways to add as much value as possible to the other person and that's why
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 it's important to remember what the great Les Brown said, help others achieve their dreams and you will achieve yours.
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People are busy.
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So when you're trying to make connections, bring the conversation back to the person you're talking to when you can.
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Don't make it about you.
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So in marketing, we call this the you principle.
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It's human nature for us to be self-motivated and self-interested.
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 So changing the language you use to include more use rather than I will go a long way.
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And now I want to share with you a handful of tested strategies you can use to begin networking the right way to produce better results over time.
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 And the first strategy in this process is to develop a relationship action plan.
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And this is simple, but a powerful idea that I picked up from my friend, serial entrepreneur and bestselling author, Keith Farazzi.
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To make a relationship action plan, all you do is you simply write down a list of the top three to five goals you have for this year.
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 These can be related to your business, your love life, fitness, or anything in between.
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Then next to each goal that you write down, write down three to five people who can help you achieve that specific goal.
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For instance, if your goal is to run a marathon, then search through your contacts and see if anyone in your circle or even a friend of a friend has completed one.
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From there, reach out to them asking for pointers, advice, game plan, things like that.
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 And just make sure to be upfront and clear about why you specifically reached out to them.
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A relationship action plan will also make you come across as being vulnerable and humble, which is a trait that helps build trust and make people feel comfortable letting their guards down and in return trying to support you.
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So really come up with that action plan and make a list of those quality people.
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 Number two, keep in touch between your asks.
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This is a big one.
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Don't just reach out to everyone and say, hey, can you help me with this?
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And here's what I need help with.
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Instead, really think about how you can reach out to people and help them in between asking.
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This is something that I've been doing for a long time.
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I try to never ask
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 for anything, unless I have a big ask.
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And in between that, I'm just reaching out and saying, Hey, I hope you're doing well.
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I see what you're up to over on Instagram.
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I see the success you're having here.
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Let me know if I can support one of anything, shoot them a message on their birthday, whatever it might be, stay in touch.
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And if you're only reaching out when you have something to promote, you'll come off as self
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 Servant and this can make other people you're reaching out to feel like they're being Used or even if you're trying to build a real bond with them.
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They still might feel like you're taking advantage of them So think about that number three be vulnerable and genuinely curious about what the other person Has going on in their life what their goals are this goes back to what we just talked about
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 No one wants to feel like they're being used or taken advantage of.
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No one wants to feel like the only reason you're being nice to them is because you'll get something from them.
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So it's important to be authentic and genuinely curious about whatever the person you're reaching out to is doing in their own life.
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Show them you actually care about their passions and the journey they're on.
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And something I like to ask people when I reach out to them is, what are you most excited about lately?
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 What is your biggest passion right now and how can I be of service to you accomplishing those goals?
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When you focus on the other person first, they really feel like you're caring more about them and you should be caring about them.
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It's not about just getting something.
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Focus on caring, caring, caring and I'm telling you good things will come around to you in the long run.
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 Number four, conduct cold outreach using the greatness trifecta.
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Now my team and I developed this three-step framework to help people be more effective with their cold outreach on social media.
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But you can use it in other areas of your life as well when it comes to building relationships.
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 So the first step is to research the person you're reaching out to and see what they're up to.
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Really get to know what they're doing, what projects they've worked on recently, what companies they've worked with, what are some of their interests outside of work, their hobbies, their passions, who they're connected to, etc.
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 Step two is to find at least two points of mutual connection between the two of you.
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For instance, maybe you both went to the same college, or you've lived in the same city at some point, or like the same sports teams.
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And the final step is putting all that together in a short, to-the-point direct message or email, or however you're contacting the person, whatever social media platform or email you're messaging.
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So an example could be like this, hey, Jane,
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 This is Tony and I noticed you went to school at Ohio State and that you play the violin.
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I'm actually from Columbus, Ohio myself and I played the cello growing up.
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Also saw that you're in the photography industry.
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I took a peek at your portfolio and I'm really impressed with your style of work.
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I'm looking to connect with other creative professionals in the Denver area.
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That's where I live now.
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Do you have a few minutes to chat sometime soon as I'd love to learn more about you and your goals.
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 That's it.
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It's short, it's sweet.
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Most of all, it comes off authentic and that's the key.
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You don't wanna come off salesy or sleazy here.
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Don't let anyone tell you different.
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Who you know matters.
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So take the time and learn how to effectively build genuine, lasting relationships with others in your industry.
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Friendships and relationships have been the cornerstone to my success and so many other people that I know and who have seen grow their businesses and lifestyles.
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 Doing the same will pay dividends for you in the long run.
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And here's the thing, I really think about each individual as a meaningful relationship, as a meaningful connection that I truly want to see succeed in whatever their goals are and help them overcome their challenge.
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So if you go into the mindset of every person I'm interacting with, how can I learn more about them?
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 How can I find out what makes them tick?
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How can I find out their biggest pain points, the things that brings them the most joy?
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And then speak into that.
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Show them opportunities that can help them accelerate overcoming those challenges in their life.
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If you can bring that to someone, even if you feel like you've got no skills and nothing to offer, I'm telling you, if you can bring joy to someone's life and just give some inspiration,
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 It will support you for a long time.
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So think about that when you're building relationships.
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Hard truth number two, your attitude matters.
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So when I had him on the show, Bert Jacobs, co-founder and CEO of the $100 million clothing company, Life is Good.
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 He told me that he thinks optimism is a superpower, and I couldn't agree more.
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Your attitude, your behavior, and the way you approach your work and your life, it matters.
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And when we're hiring here at School of Greatness and Greatest Media, I always look for three things above everything else.
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 Attitude, energy, and effort.
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Now don't get me wrong, their ability to do the task, the job, is a requirement as well, but I've always found that these three traits to be way more important than just talent.
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Nobody wants to work with someone who drains all the joy out of a room or someone who's always negative.
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 And I'll be the first to admit though this is hard to screen during the interview process or at least at the beginning of any sort of business relationship.
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It's difficult to tell how someone will actually react to tense situations, stress, adversity before they're actually thrown into the fire.
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 Now, we all have our bad days, of course, and I'm not perfect.
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I can be negative at times.
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But if you're constantly negative, there's a good chance you might be unhappy with yourself internally.
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You might not be addressing an area of your life that you need to work through.
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When I had a celebrity speaker, an entrepreneur, Lisa Nichols, on the show, she told me that our lives are all a physical manifestation of the conversations going on in your head.
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 So if you're constantly engaging in negative self-talk or putting yourself down, you're bound to show up in the world negatively to other people as well.
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This is a mental test that you've got to put yourself through.
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That's why we have to guard ourselves against negative self-talk throughout the day.
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Monitor the conversations you're having with yourself.
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Write down how many negative and how many positive
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 times you're talking and thinking about these things and what those thoughts are about.
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This will give you a solid snapshot of the area of life you need to focus on improving or figuring out how to overcome that challenge.
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And you can work through this by yourself with positive affirmations and other strategies or you can get professional help like I like to do.
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 And I'm a huge advocate of therapy and it's helped me in so many ways in my life.
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And if you're in a financial position to afford therapy, then I highly recommend doing so.
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If you're not, there are some more affordable options on the market today.
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Just do a little bit of research to find out what works for you.
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But I'm telling you, emotional accountability has been so massive for my life and it's been powerful.
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 After you address the things that are holding you back from unconditional self-love, you're much more likely to eventually bring joy to the work you do rather than negativity.
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And when you're positive and passionate about the work you do, other people will naturally be drawn to you as a result.
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This all goes back to an idea that I live by and have come to know as fact for me.
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The world makes room for passionate people.
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 If you love what you do, if you're following your mission, if you're living in a purpose-filled life or on that journey, you'll attract other incredible people who are also following their own dreams and skills.
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And when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.
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 A positive attitude is one of the first steps to making your dreams happen and it's so crucial.
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I'll leave you with one final thing.
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I remember seeing Elon Musk in an interview saying one of the biggest mistakes he made in building his businesses is hiring talented people who are negative.
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 He said he's fallen in this trap time and time again, it's one of his biggest mistakes, is hiring super talented people that were negative, that hurt the culture and the mission of what he was building and in return caused a lot of negative stress for him as well.
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 And he mentioned this in an interview one time and it made me realize that talent is important, we'll get to that as well, but attitude, energy and effort is everything.
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Hard truth number three, people don't care as much as you think they do.
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Now there's a mantra that goes like this, the people who matter don't care and the people who care don't matter.
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 And this is true.
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So many people are worried about the opinions of strangers online who will criticize them for following their dreams.
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And I get it.
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It can be painful to read some of the hateful comments on social media.
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Online bullying is no joke.
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It's happening all the time.
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All that said, I hear a lot of people talk about blocking out the haters.
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 and tuning out the noise.
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But the truth is that most people don't care either way.
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Their lives won't be different whether you follow your dreams or not.
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Your family, your friends, and loved ones will care that you're pursuing your dreams, hopefully in a good and fully supportive way.
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Not always.
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And as for other people though,
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 Not so much.
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They don't all care, really.
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Now, you might hear me say this and think it's a negative or discouraging way to look at things, but I actually think it's liberating.
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Since most people don't care either way, and the ones who do care are actually just unhappy with themselves, what's stopping you from pursuing your actual goals, your actual dreams?
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Not the dream you made up as a backup plan, or the dream your parents gave to you, or the dream you're settling for.
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I'm talking about the thing that lights you up.
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 the thing you were created to do.
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What's stopping you from going after that?
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Or at least creating that on the side as you build up revenue in the meantime.
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And I'll wrap this section up with a story that taught me this principle firsthand.
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Now, when I was in my early 20s, I lived above a salsa club.
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 and they had live music almost every night and once a week they had salsa dancing.
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And I remember going down and being mesmerized and just amazed at how talented and how difficult this looked for people to salsa dance.
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And I would go down there almost every week for months and people would ask me to come dance, come on the dance floor and I would not
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 dare to go out there even one time because I was so intimidated by people making fun of me, by people laughing at me, by looking silly, by messing up and really just making a fool of myself.
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But eventually I got enough courage to go on the dance floor.
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A woman dragged me out there and I was resisting it.
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I finally went out there and I remember she said, I'm just going to teach you the basic step.
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Now this was a packed dance floor.
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I'm sweating.
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I'm terrified.
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I'm nervous.
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 And she said, just follow this basic step.
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And I was looking down at her feet the entire time for probably five to ten minutes.
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And I remember thinking, oh my gosh, I'm messing up.
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I'm stumbling.
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I'm stepping on her toes.
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I'm off rhythm.
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I don't understand the music, the language.
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Everyone is way more talented around me.
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I shouldn't be out here.
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I'm making a fool of myself.
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 And after a few minutes she said, Lewis, look up.
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Like you can smile.
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You can have fun.
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It doesn't need to be stressful.
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And I looked up and I looked around me and it was a liberating feeling.
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No one was looking at me.
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No one cared that I was messing up.
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Everyone was having fun around them.
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 And no one was laughing at me.
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And even if a few people maybe were smirking and kind of smiling, laughing at me from the side, I didn't see it.
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And even if I did see it, it doesn't matter.
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Because what matters is you overcoming the fears, the insecurities that hold you back from ultimate freedom, from ultimate joy.
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 And it's going to take you going through that challenging obstacle in order for you to be free on the other side.
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That takes courage.
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But the opinions of other people don't really matter.
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So what if they laugh at you and make fun of you?
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It's not their life.
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It's your life.
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So make sure you go out there.
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Be willing to embarrass yourself for a few minutes or maybe a few days or a few months until you overcome
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 the fear until you develop a skill so that you are good enough to be out there in the future.
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But don't let this stop you.
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And that's hard truth number three.
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Hard truth number four, you can never stop.
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 We have a saying here at Greatest Media, you can go as slow as you want to, but you can never stop.
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And I mean this wholeheartedly.
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People ask me all the time for advice about launching a podcast, growing a business, developing a personal brand, building on social media.
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And I always go back to this simple principle.
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One of the things that separated the School of Greatness from other shows in this space is our consistency.
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My team and I release three shows every single week, no questions asked.
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 No compromises, no wiggle room.
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Even if the world was collapsing, the show gets published.
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And today we're over 1,200 episodes and I feel like really we're just getting started.
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This is the foundation for the next level.
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Remember that the power of consistency compounds over time.
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It's like a flywheel.
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And your competitors will begin to fall out of the race.
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 when the going gets tough, when things get hard.
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In fact, when you really think about it, you aren't competing with as many people as you think you are if you're dependable and consistent.
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And this goes for anything that you create.
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And really, you shouldn't be competing with anyone at all.
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You should just be running your own race.
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And sure, there might be hundreds or thousands or even millions of people who say they want to write a book.
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But how many people actually sit down and actually write it?
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 Out of that number, how many people actually sit down and make edits and rewrite the second draft of the book?
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And out of that smaller number, how many of these people actually reach out to a book agent and market their book effectively and connect with influencers in their space and make sure that the book launch goes smoothly?
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 If you're consistent and committed, the number of people you're competing against is a whole lot smaller than you think it is.
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And again, you shouldn't be competing, you should be running your own race and focused.
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Now, I don't want you to get confused here.
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The principle doesn't mean you always have to hustle and grind 24-7 for years to achieve your dreams.
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That can lead to burnout if you aren't careful.
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And plus, when it comes to forming good habits and being as productive as possible, studies have shown
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 that giving yourself flexibility, as opposed to being super strict and rigid about your goals, leads to better output over time.
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I'm all for taking breaks.
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I'm all for pausing, but not stopping completely.
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And one of my recent guests, the world-leading psychologist and bestselling author, Katie Milkman,
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 And her research goes deep into this topic.
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She's found that flexibility is key to forming life-changing habits and achieving massive goals over the long term.
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The example she used to illustrate this idea was forming healthy exercise habits.
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 Now, if a person makes a strict, non-negotiable commitment to going to the gym every single day at 6 a.m.
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or doesn't get it done at all, they're putting themselves in a corner because life gets busy, challenges and complications come up.
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Unexpected things happen.
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And instead, it's a much better long-term approach to just have the goal of working out at some point during the day.
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Maybe on Mondays it's the mornings and Tuesdays it's the evenings or at lunchtime.
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 The most important thing here is to be flexible.
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Not give up on working out, but be flexible on when.
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And I put this to use in my own life as well.
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Sometimes I'm traveling or have an interview or something last minute comes up, so I'll need to switch around my workout or Spanish lesson that I'm committed to or coaching session to make room for it.
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By being flexible and not so rigid with your routines, it'll be easier to make sure your responsibilities and commitments
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 Always get done no matter what gets thrown your way.
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And that's the key.
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The last thing here is this.
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If you haven't found a dream that makes you excited enough to be consistent over the long haul, then maybe you haven't found the right dream yet and that's okay.
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Maybe you're not being fully honest with yourself about what you truly want.
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 As the number one decision maker in your life, it's your job to create a mission that gets you excited, that makes you really want to jump out of bed in the morning, and be consistent when things really get challenging and tough, because they will.
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If this sounds like you, or you're beginning to feel uninspired with the path you're on, one way to turn things around and find something that lights you up is a principle that Simon Sinek talks about, starting with why.
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 Oftentimes, we start with what we want.
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I want a nicer car, I want a bigger house, I want a fancy pair of shoes, or I want to have a million Instagram followers.
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Being excited about a milestone like that isn't always a bad thing, but it's not an effective long-term strategy, and it won't keep you motivated over time.
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Instead, Simon explains it's way more effective to start with why.
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 Why do you want to start with that podcast?
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Why do you want all those followers?
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Why do you want to launch that startup?
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Maybe it's to impact the lives of people in your community or give back to a cause that's near and dear to your heart.
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But by asking yourself why,
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 You'll gain clarity on what it is you truly want in life.
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From there, you'll be able to easily create a mission that supports it and then also excites you.
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I'm not saying this is going to be an easy mission to accomplish, but you'll be able to get clarity around what the mission is, and clarity is key.
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Hard truth number five.
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 Challenges are not going to disappear anytime soon or next year.
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This is a big one, guys, and I hear this from a lot of people at all different stages of their journey.
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I just have to handle this one thing first, and then I'll get to writing my book or launching my dream business.
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Or now is not a good time because I have this commitment that I need to handle first right now, and when that's done, then I can get started.
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 Sure, unexpected things come up and derail progress for all of us.
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We've all had moments in life where we need to put something on the back burner.
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And I want you to commit to changing it, or start getting on the path to evolving it.
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Because the truth is, your challenges aren't going to disappear this year, next year, or 10 years from now.
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We all know that obstacles arise at all turns of life.
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There's always going to be something that could potentially stop your progress if you let it.
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 And that's why it's so important to get used to the stress or challenges that are coming.