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Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert.
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Nope.
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Armchair Anonymous.
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That s the name of this show, Armchair Anonymous.
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It s not Armchair Expert.
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No, it s not.
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No.
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Don t get it twisted.
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No.
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I haven t been on such a good role.
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It s been a long time since I butchered that.
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It has.
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Yeah.
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Good job.
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Today is a story about underdogs.
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Some people call me underdog, but I prefer her-me and her-me because that s my God-given name.
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bestowed upon me by my great-great-granddad and his great-grandfather before him.
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Did you know that, Mrs. Monica, that I m the 12th Hermium Permium?
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I didn t know that, but I m not surprised.
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Good news!
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There s a new friend.
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My friend Boris Butchman s here.
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Sometimes Boris Butchman comes over to sit with Hermium Permium.
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It s me, Prairie Sooner.
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Oh yes, also goes by Prairie Sooner.
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I forgot.
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Either Boris Butchman or Prairie Sooner.
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How long have you two known each other?
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Since I was born.
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We were born in the same hospital.
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At the same time?
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at nearly the same time.
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I do believe that Prairie Schooner came just about 20 minutes before Hermie and Permian.
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And we both know how to drive cars.
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That s right.
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He has his own vehicle and I do too.
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Has Prairie met the robot?
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Because it seems like you guys are all hanging out.
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That s a great question.
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I m not going to steal that from you.
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Prairie, have you met the robot?
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The robot is always in my dreams, but I never met him.
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I ll have to have you guys both over.
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Sometimes I do make a casserole.
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It s just too much for me.
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And as you know, the robot doesn t eat, even though he is a real boy.
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I like casserole with biscuits.
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Wow, that was so great.
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Both Prairie and Hermium are underdogs, so this is great.
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Yeah, and Hermium is really an offshoot of Prairie.
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Erin and I were on a road trip to Texas in 12th grade over Christmas.
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Oh, Prairie s old?
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I thought maybe you just made him up.
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Oh no, Prairie Schooner s been around for 30 years.
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Yeah, because we were on this road trip and we were following someone pulling a camper trailer, and it was called the Prairie Schooner.
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And we just started saying Prairie Schooner, Prairie Schooner.
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And then Prairie Schooner became a person that evolved into a client we had at GM that kind of spoke like Prairie Schooner.
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I ll give you the safe name, Boris Butchman.
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And so it evolved into Boris Butchman.
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And Boris is originally from Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, USA.
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Oh, same as Herman.
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And he works for Pontiac Oldsmobile, Chevrolet, USA.
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He also works for a confusing car company.
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Oh, wow, okay.
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And we used to imagine he would call my mom in the hotel room on car show days and go, Laura, it s Boris.
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I can t get out of the tub.
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Do you think you can handle this one without me?
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Laura, I m sad today.
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Too sad to go in.
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Okay.
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Underdogs.
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That s what we re here to talk about.
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Armchair Anonymous.
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Oh my God.
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We have our best story we ve ever heard on this episode.
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Absolutely outrageous story.
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And zero warnings on this one.
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No, zero warnings, you gotta listen.
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It s as clean as you would expect from an underdog prompt.
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Yeah.
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So please enjoy Underdogs.
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Hard times, come and go.
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Good times, take them slow.
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My life, I had them both.
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Remember one thing, you gotta know.
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I ma keep on shining.
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Yay, underdog.
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Tell us your biggest underwear story.
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The biggest pair you ve ever seen.
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Fanky panky.
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Can you remember the biggest pair of underwear you ve ever seen?
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Oh, God.
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Grandmothers or grandfathers.
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I feel like I have an image of a huge pair, but who would it be?
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Me too.
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And they re women s.
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No, mine are whitey tighty.
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Oh.
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Hello.
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Hi, I can hear you guys.
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Yay!
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Oh, sorry, what s that?
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I ve been sitting here, I was like, make sure I know what I m doing.
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No, you know, and the best part is it gave me enough time, because my initial thought when I saw all those tanks was acetylene tanks, and I thought you guys were welders, but now I see this kind of old-fashioned-y diving helmet, so now I think we re in a scuba environment.
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Correct, scuba environment.
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Hold on, I m just yelling at my wife for opening the garage door.
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Perfect.
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And I love all the colors.
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Do the colors designate different types or something?
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No, these are old tanks that don t work anymore.
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My husband does a scuba radio podcast.
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So this is his studio room.
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And so I made sure he set up everything.
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A scuba radio podcast.
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What is?
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Scuba podcast.
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Oh, okay.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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Are you a scuba diver?
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I am.
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Yes.
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You are.
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And where are you guys at?
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Do you have local access?
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Central Florida.
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I have to be a little vague of where I am.
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Okay.
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Great.
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Did you guys meet scuba diving?
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We did.
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Yeah.
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He owned a dive shop and I was up in Canada and it s not the meet cute stories, but he was a diver and owned a dive shop and he was looking for a manager at the time.
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And I was in Canada where I m initially from.
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So now he sold the shop.
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He doesn t have any more.
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He does the scuba diving podcast.
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What s the name of it in case people in the audience are interested in scuba diving podcasts, the scuba diving podcast with Sweetwater scuba.
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Very literal.
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Wow.
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He got in on the ground floor.
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That s a hard name to get.
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Yes, for sure.
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Katie, you have an underdog story.
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Hard for me to believe.
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Just looking at you.
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I feel like probably a champion from the jump.
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Thank you.
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I appreciate that.
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Well, much like you Dax, I m very dyslexic.
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Oh, okay.
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Congratulations.
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I was like, I m going to write this story.
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And when they picked it, I was very surprised.
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I was like, that must have been the most incoherent essay I ve ever written.
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And I haven t been in school in a long time.
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So I was like, all right, you know what?
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They re taking it and running with it.
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I was diagnosed very late in life.
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I always knew I had some learning disability, but it wasn t until my last year of high school in 2009.
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I got tested and I was like, oh, this is making more sense.
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High school was hard.
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My last few years, I had teachers who were like, you should be in special ed.
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Why are you here?
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Very nice people, you know, all that.
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Being in Canada, I did French and English.
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So English is hard.
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Add French to that.
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Oh my God.
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What a terrible place to be born as a dyslexic where you have to be dual language.
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I barely could get through the first one.
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Right.
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I had French teachers were like, this isn t hard.
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And I was like, Oh my God.
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Like that s not helpful.
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So leaving high school, I had to go to university, looking at a lot of things.
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I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life.
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I love animals, but you have to do a lot of math, science.
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I don t have your dyslexia.
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Your math is very impressive, Dax.
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Oh my gosh.
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Thank you so much for noticing.
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I was like, that s not the same.
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It s like, he doesn t have dyslexia at all.
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So I couldn t get into these schools for, at the time, I thought veterinarians were the only option to work with animals.
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So I did what any dyslexic does and went to art school.
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That s what I can do.
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So I did that for two and a half years.
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After those two years, I did what any early 20 year old does and does traveling.
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And that s where I fell in love with scuba diving.
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When I went back home,
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I got my dive master and then went to Florida and I was like, you know what?
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I want to do something different.
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So I went there, got my instructor and started teaching scuba diving.
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Oh, wow.
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Okay.
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I love doing that, but it was looking for something a little different.
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And I fell upon a large aquarium in Florida that I started working at as a safety for the guests that come into the aquarium and they can scuba dive there.
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Oh, wow.
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So people can dive with big fish and stuff in this tank.
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Exactly.
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Oh my God, it must be enormous.
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Yeah, it s the second largest.
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Holy smokes.
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I could see where people would underestimate it and think it s deceptively safe.
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Most motorcyclists have career ending injuries on little tiny motorcycles or riding in the backyard.
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They re like, yeah, I m not going to get hurt on this.
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Oh, absolutely.
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And as long as your scuba certified, you can dive in the aquarium, which is also really unsafe because someone could have been certified 15 plus years ago.
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They have not dived since.
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Oh God.
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Is there any chance that you heard any of the episodes where I ve explained when I went scuba diving?
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Because I think it must anger scuba people so much.
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No, I loved it.
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I actually was excited that you actually dived.
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Oh, okay, okay.
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But I had zero training.
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I was in Bora Bora and one of the actors had their dive master with and he s like, you ll be fine, let s go.
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Zero training just went straight to scuba dope for like two hours.
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That s scary.
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I loved it, but I always think like, oh, people that this is their world must hate that.
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And people,
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And you.
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And me.
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Well, people who are scared, people who are Virgos, people who know people who had bad accidents.
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Uh-oh.
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Do you know someone who went down with scurvy?
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I know someone who s died.
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Okay.
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So I m just saying you gotta be careful.
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It s a serious sport.
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It is.
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It s a serious sport.
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And that s why I really liked being an instructor.
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I still teach when I can.
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It s really interesting to see people get really nervous.
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And then once they get in their water, they re like, Oh, or if they re like they re sharks, no, I m not leaving you.
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And then they see it and like, okay, bye.
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And you have to bring them back a little bit.
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Oh, that is cool.
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And then fast forward two years into that, COVID hit.
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So there s no more guests.
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And that s a big part of the job.
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They said, you know, two weeks will be okay.
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We still went into work.
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Obviously animals need to be taken care of.
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But then when they started realizing, okay, it s going to be a little bit more than
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two weeks and it kept going.
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I started to make myself available to anybody.
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I was like, hello, I m here.
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What do you need?
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I got you.
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So a few of the teams that lost their interns, they re like, absolutely.
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We need help.
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So the manatees, really easy animals.
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Throw lettuce at them.
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They eat the lettuce.
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You count it.
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Not rocket science.
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I think of your wife Dax a lot with her sloth obsession.
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That s my manatee.
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I was like, you know what?
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Put me there all day.
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Leave me there.
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I love them.
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Oh, they re so sweet.
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Her ex-stepdad lives in one of those little islands on the west side of Florida, just above West Palm Beach.
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And if you go out there with a fresh garden hose and you just run the water, they ll come up and they just start gulping the water out of the hose.
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I m gonna cut you off, that s very illegal.
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Wow, two illegal things.
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Luckily for me, I m not doing it actively right now.
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It s in my past.
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Of the illegal things I ve done in my life, that doesn t even chart.
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But boy, are they fucking cute.
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They re like little, well not little, they re enormous dogs.
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Yeah, they re like little potatoes, they re fantastic.
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Yeah.
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So yeah, so they re like, okay, just stand there, feed them all day, that s your job.
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Throughout COVID, the more the area was shut down, they re like, we still need your help.
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Can you help with this and this and this?
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And it built so much that by the time the parks were opening up again, they said, hey, do you wanna stay and be on this team?
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So I became a marine mammal specialist.
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Oh my God, look at this, you wanted to go into veterinarian care.
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Yeah.
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Look at this circuitous route.
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I love that.
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So wait, now you work with the team that handles the animals?
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I do, yeah.
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So my day is half working with dolphins and my other half working with manatees.
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Oh my goodness.
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Look at that.
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You got around that stupid dyslexia.
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Stupid, yeah.
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I hate to say it, but you know what we re gonna ask.
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Oh Lord, we are.
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SPEAKER_03
These dolphins ever try to get frisky with you?
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They re very famous for trying to do so.
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Not with us, but with each other, sure, all the time.
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Okay, okay.
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That s encouraged, yeah.
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They are sexual creatures.
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It s their body, their choice.
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SPEAKER_01
It s all internal, but when it s not internal, it comes out.
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They like to expose themselves in front of guests, and I m like, thank you for that, thank you.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah, they re exhibitionists.
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SPEAKER_03
The dolphin penis is alarmingly large the first time you see it.
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Insane.
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SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
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It s a couple of feet.
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SPEAKER_03
I mean, maybe.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Wow.
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And it doesn t match the rest of the dolphin.
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So you really see it.
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SPEAKER_01
What color is a different color?
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SPEAKER_01
It s pink.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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It s usually tucked away.
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SPEAKER_03
When they let that freak flag fly, boy, it turns some heads.
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SPEAKER_03
Perverted.
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SPEAKER_01
I would love to go back to high school and tell those teachers like, yeah, I did something.
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SPEAKER_01
Yes.
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SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
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Guess what?
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SPEAKER_03
I get to do what a marine biologist does.
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SPEAKER_03
Maybe even better.
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And then with guests coming all the time, I feel horrible because I have these bright eyed little teenagers like, Oh, what did you just go to school for?
1
SPEAKER_01
I m like, I m an art student.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_03
For drawing.
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SPEAKER_03
Do you have any crazy relationship with any of the dolphins that you feel is like weirdly connected, spiritual or like one in particular or anything?
1
SPEAKER_01
Sure, I mean, it s funny to see how they react to all of us trainers, as far as I was one of the newer ones in, and I m the substitute teacher, so they can get away with doing things.
1
SPEAKER_03
Oh, wow.
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Versus the older trainers, it s like, okay, nope, this is what they want, this is their criteria, so different personalities, and older ones are, I ve been at this for too long, like I don t, and then the younger ones are wanting to please you, so they re very excited, they re vocalizing.
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They yell at me and they know I will hand fish.
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I m like, oh my God, you re so cute.
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I m a huge sucker.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, they re so manipulative.
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SPEAKER_02
Sure.
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Oh yeah, it s insane.
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SPEAKER_03
You re gonna act all cute and it s gonna work.
1
SPEAKER_02
One time I got that as my Patronus.
1
SPEAKER_03
I don t know what a Patronus is and I don t know what it is.
1
SPEAKER_02
On Harry Potter, I got dolphin.
1
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_02
So if you go to Pottermore website, in the books you have like a protective animal.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I know this, yes.
1
SPEAKER_02
That s sort of like, is you.
1
SPEAKER_02
Terrence s is a wolf.
1
SPEAKER_02
No, a stag, just like a stag.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, a stag.
1
SPEAKER_03
Right, right.
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SPEAKER_03
Sorry.
1
SPEAKER_02
And you can go on Pottermore and take the test.
1
SPEAKER_02
And you get a dolphin?
1
SPEAKER_02
I ve done it a lot of times because I want to keep seeing, but one of them is a dolphin.
1
SPEAKER_02
Well, it s because you re a perv.
1
SPEAKER_03
I would have felt flattered by that.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it makes sense.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_03
If I didn t get a dolphin, I would sue the website.
1
SPEAKER_01
I feel like, Monica, you need to make him do that test.
1
SPEAKER_01
Didn t you guys do that?
1
SPEAKER_02
Well, we did the regular, and it bit me, because I started talking poorly about Hufflepuff.
1
SPEAKER_02
People got upset.
1
SPEAKER_02
I m a Hufflepuff.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, see, yeah, and you re great.
1
SPEAKER_02
I love Hufflepuffs.
1
SPEAKER_02
I forget what I said, but it really, uh-oh.
1
SPEAKER_03
Sorry to interrupt.
1
SPEAKER_02
No, don t worry about it.
1
SPEAKER_03
It literally just opened again, period.
1
SPEAKER_03
You re sure no one has the remote, question mark?
1
SPEAKER_02
Am I sitting on it or something?
1
SPEAKER_03
This is insane.
1
SPEAKER_03
Could it be in the couch cushions?
1
SPEAKER_03
You re gonna watch us do some housekeeping right now.
1
SPEAKER_03
Oh, it just did it again.
1
SPEAKER_03
What in the flying fuck balls?
1
SPEAKER_02
It might be in here.
1
SPEAKER_03
And now a third time.
1
SPEAKER_01
This is honestly amazing.
1
SPEAKER_02
I feel like it might be in here, but I don t.
1
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
1
SPEAKER_01
No way.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
1
SPEAKER_01
Opening the garage.
1
SPEAKER_01
I didn t do that.
1
SPEAKER_03
Oh my God, exclamation point.
1
SPEAKER_03
Monica just found it buried in her Lazy Boy and was triggering it every time she moved.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh boy, well, that solves that.
1
SPEAKER_03
Well, you saw a mystery resolved.
1
SPEAKER_01
I love every minute of that.
1
SPEAKER_03
Wow.
1
SPEAKER_01
That was actually really impressive that it activated that.
1
SPEAKER_01
I know.
1
SPEAKER_03
Oh, no, we were interviewing someone yesterday and it opened and closed like seven times and I m literally like, I m gonna go in and kill every member of my family.
1
SPEAKER_03
How could they not know that you can t open and close the garage the whole time
1
SPEAKER_03
Oh my God.
1
SPEAKER_03
I m glad you witnessed that.
1
SPEAKER_03
Well, I love your underdog story.
1
SPEAKER_01
Me too.
1
SPEAKER_01
Thanks for sharing it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Absolutely.
1
SPEAKER_01
I love that you guys do this.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s so fun and it was an incoherent message.
1
SPEAKER_01
So whoever had to read that, I appreciate that they picked it.
1
SPEAKER_03
Emma, our all-star.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m way better at speaking.
1
SPEAKER_01
That was a part of my dyslexia test.
1
SPEAKER_01
They re like, your social is way high.
1
SPEAKER_01
That shouldn t be there.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_03
Do you find that you have a suspiciously good memory for oral stories?
1
SPEAKER_03
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_03
I think it s because the only thing you re going to learn is what you memorize that the teacher said.
1
SPEAKER_03
If you don t get it there, you re not going to get it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I listened to so many podcasts now and I just come home and I m like, let me tell you about this.
1
SPEAKER_03
Right.
1
SPEAKER_03
And you can just reiterate the whole thing.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Ask me to read something.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, gone.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s been funny being in this field now.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m in these rooms with these people who ve gone to school for all this stuff and I m just like, I m having imposter syndrome.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t know what you re talking about anymore.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m very lucky to have management and people around me to put me into the right places.
1
SPEAKER_01
You did it.
1
SPEAKER_01
You got yourself there.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s really impressive.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, we rule.
1
SPEAKER_03
Don t let anyone tell you differently.
1
SPEAKER_01
I totally agree.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s more fun.
1
SPEAKER_03
Us and left-handers, I mean, they re also pretty special.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God!
1
SPEAKER_03
Oh my God, Katie, we re meant to be together.
1
SPEAKER_01
I love it.
1
SPEAKER_03
If you guys are ever... Believe me, now I ll have to stop by.
1
SPEAKER_01
I can do a little backstage.
1
SPEAKER_01
I can show you how big the aquarium is.
1
SPEAKER_01
I can show you where we do our rehab manatees.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s really cool to be a part of as well.
1
SPEAKER_01
We get to put some manatees back out into the wild.
1
SPEAKER_03
Well, when you re not looking, I m going to feed them fresh water out of a garden hose.
1
SPEAKER_01
Perfect, excellent.
1
SPEAKER_01
And scuba dive without any instruction.
1
SPEAKER_01
Just jump in, it s fine, I allow it.
1
SPEAKER_03
Well, Katie, great meeting you and thank you for telling us that story.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, absolutely, it was so nice meeting you.
1
SPEAKER_02
All right, take care.
1
SPEAKER_02
Bye.
1
SPEAKER_02
Well, it s always good to get more info on dolphins.
1
SPEAKER_03
So much happened in that interview.
1
SPEAKER_03
I mean, that whole garage thing was really something.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I m glad we figured it out.
1
SPEAKER_03
And I guess the previous episode will be an Easter egg.
1
SPEAKER_03
Hopefully if you like listen to all the shows in the week, what a resolution it won t have come out yet.
1
SPEAKER_03
It won t Well when you re listening to an upcoming February episode and you hear the garage door opening and closing non-stop and then hearing my voice Tension with my anger towards my family.
1
SPEAKER_03
You ll know that it was our doing the whole time.
1
SPEAKER_03
Okay, let s talk to Alexander get there.
1
SPEAKER_03
It probably slid out of my No, it s probably in my shorty short pants, but
1
SPEAKER_03
I bet it was when I came up to talk to you and Liz while I was working out and sat in that chair and it probably slid out of my pocket like two months ago.
1
SPEAKER_03
Y all.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God.
1
SPEAKER_00
Hello.
1
SPEAKER_00
Hi.
1
SPEAKER_03
Did you like that you caught us candid mid conversation?
1
SPEAKER_00
That was like the dream I was having about how this would be.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was like, I bet they ll be chatting and I ll get to see them being friends, which is like my favorite part of the whole podcast.
1
SPEAKER_03
What if when you signed down, we were putting our shirts back on.
1
SPEAKER_03
That would be nerve wracking, wouldn t it?
1
SPEAKER_00
I would be like.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m really glad they found a way to, like, love each other.
1
SPEAKER_00
And, like, I m sure they all worked it out.
1
SPEAKER_02
What are these cute mugs?
1
SPEAKER_02
Are they mugs?
1
SPEAKER_03
Those are shoes poking out of a shoe hole.
1
SPEAKER_00
These are shoes.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m in my closet.
1
SPEAKER_00
This is the first time I ve ever read all the directions on a thing in my whole life.
1
SPEAKER_03
Oh, congrats.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh man, I appreciate it.
1
SPEAKER_00
No congrats to you guys.
1
SPEAKER_00
Dax, happy belated birthday.
1
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m very happy you were born, and Monica, I m very sorry for your loss.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m sure the earth feels pretty weird right now, so I m just thinking of you.
1
SPEAKER_02
That s so kind, thank you.
1
SPEAKER_00
Of course.
1
SPEAKER_02
Can we pause for two seconds?
1
SPEAKER_02
Can you look at it and see it as mugs?
1
SPEAKER_02
I can see how you see it.
1
SPEAKER_02
Do you?
1
SPEAKER_02
Okay, I appreciate that.
1
SPEAKER_03
I would need three or four grams of mushrooms, I think, to see mugs there.
1
SPEAKER_03
Really?
1
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_02
All right.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s like a magic guy.
1
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_03
We must hear your underdog story.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m ready to dive in.
1
SPEAKER_00
So this one takes place in Southeastern Connecticut, which is near Monday s interview, Paul Giamatti.
1
SPEAKER_03
Where he s from.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_00
I got to see him in Hamlet actually when I was in high school and I didn t realize what an amazing opportunity that was.
1
SPEAKER_00
And now I m like, what the fuck?
1
SPEAKER_00
You saw Paul Giamatti as Hamlet?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Incredible.
2
SPEAKER_02
I ll have to do some back work now to convince you that I was an underdog.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m going to give you guys a little bit of context because I feel like it s really generous to call myself an underdog because ultimately in the wider context of the world, I ve had an amazing life.
2
SPEAKER_02
Like I have wonderful parents, great opportunities, but in this specific context, I felt like maybe I was a little bit of an underdog.
2
SPEAKER_02
So my parents had me when they were 17 and they stayed together, which was pretty amazing.
2
SPEAKER_02
And they went on to have three more, much younger children than me who all have progressively improved with each model.
2
SPEAKER_02
They crushed it.
2
SPEAKER_02
They worked really hard to give us an awesome life.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I ve always really struggled with my mental health.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m pretty sure like I came out of the womb, just like there s something fucking going on with this place.
2
SPEAKER_02
so anxious i got diagnosed with adhd or not adhd that was recent i got diagnosed with ocd in third grade i had a lot going on and then i switched elementary schools then i went to a charter school for middle school which i also loved middle school
2
SPEAKER_02
Then I went back to the local public school, which was a different experience.
2
SPEAKER_02
I hadn t seen a lot of these people since I ve switched schools.
2
SPEAKER_02
Some boys in one of my classes bullied me.
2
SPEAKER_02
So I ended up deciding that maybe I should switch schools because I just am really struggling in this context.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I got to go to a local private school, literally because the guidance counselor liked my personality.
2
SPEAKER_00
I buy that.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, me too.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, wow.
2
SPEAKER_02
Thank you.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s so helpful of you to say.
2
SPEAKER_00
When you were diagnosed in third grade with OCD, is it because you had a tremendous amount of tics like I did?
2
SPEAKER_02
I had a lot of really weird routines and habits and fears, so my hands would be bloody because I d wash them so much.
2
SPEAKER_02
Monica, on Sync, you talked about it, making up these superstitions that you had.
2
SPEAKER_02
Always, for my whole life, I had a great fear of my dad getting in a car accident, even though no one I d ever known had gotten in a car accident.
2
SPEAKER_02
It was tough.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s all consuming.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s like, all I did is monitor whether I was doing things even or odd numbers of times.
2
SPEAKER_00
I couldn t think about anything else.
2
SPEAKER_02
I still count.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m an odd number kind of girl.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, freaky.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s weird for most things.
2
SPEAKER_02
Anyways, they did whatever they could to like scrape together scholarships so that I could go, but it was still like a really big financial stretch for my parents.
2
SPEAKER_02
So I started the school in my sophomore year and there was 50 kids in my graduating class.
2
SPEAKER_02
Many of them had been in school together since kindergarten and I think what
2
SPEAKER_02
came to be pretty obvious very quickly was that my life experience was very different than theirs.
2
SPEAKER_02
Like I wasn t going on class trips.
2
SPEAKER_02
The opportunity for me was going to the school, whereas their opportunities were like the whole wide world.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
The teachers were amazing.
2
SPEAKER_02
It was a very good school and had an awesome theater program, which is kind of my wheelhouse.
2
SPEAKER_02
So I only found a group through doing theater, which is pretty common, I think.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then the spring of my junior year, they announced that the musical was going to be Chicago.
2
SPEAKER_02
I d been hoping for Les Miserables because playing Eponine was like my life dream.
2
SPEAKER_02
I wasn t going to go to college for theater or anything.
2
SPEAKER_02
So I was like, okay, this is my chance.
2
SPEAKER_02
I decided that I was going to audition for Roxy.
2
SPEAKER_00
For the lay person, i.e.
2
SPEAKER_00
me, is that the lead?
2
SPEAKER_02
That s one of the two leads.
2
SPEAKER_02
So there s two female leads.
2
SPEAKER_02
There s Velma and then there s Roxy.
2
SPEAKER_00
Is Roxy loose?
2
SPEAKER_00
Because that s a fun name, Roxy.
2
SPEAKER_02
She is loose.
2
SPEAKER_02
She s kind of like naughty and she s not a very good person.
2
SPEAKER_02
So I thought it would kind of be fun.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, she s a very fun character to play.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I love her songs.
2
SPEAKER_02
And she had fewer songs.
2
SPEAKER_02
So I was like, perfect.
2
SPEAKER_02
This will be the less competitive role.
2
SPEAKER_02
So cut to the summer.
2
SPEAKER_02
I got this great boyfriend who kind of like walked the line of the theater kids and the really popular rich kids.
2
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_02
and handsome, you can imagine how it went though.
2
SPEAKER_02
It was a high school relationship.
2
SPEAKER_02
So it wasn t great, but he was really in the theater.
2
SPEAKER_02
So we spent all summer learning all the songs.
2
SPEAKER_02
He was auditioning for the lawyer, Billy Flynn.
2
SPEAKER_02
And he and Roxy has a song where she sits on his lap and is like a puppet.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, he must ve loved that.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
We choreographed it over the summer auditions have not happened.
2
SPEAKER_00
Right.
2
SPEAKER_00
You guys are just working all summer on this.
2
SPEAKER_02
We re prepared.
2
SPEAKER_02
I do the audition.
2
SPEAKER_02
I put literally my all into it.
2
SPEAKER_02
Like I got into costume.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I m sure you guys are picking up on what is going to happen.
2
SPEAKER_02
I didn t get cast as Roxy, which is fine.
2
SPEAKER_02
This happens.
2
SPEAKER_02
But it s sad.
2
SPEAKER_00
Compounding is now her boyfriend s gonna have another gal on his lap.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, because he got it, obviously, because he s handsome and one of the three boys that auditioned.
2
SPEAKER_00
Right, the only three boys that weren t afraid.
2
SPEAKER_02
At the time, it was so devastating and it kind of like catapulted me into my first of many depressive episodes, which was like a fun, whole new experience for senior year.
2
SPEAKER_02
And the girl who did get cast, the worst part was that she is a wonderful person.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s the worst one.
2
SPEAKER_00
You can t hate him.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
She s like so beautiful and she s Scandinavian, which is cool.
2
SPEAKER_02
And like all the guys liked her cause she was so innocent.
2
SPEAKER_02
They wanted to corrupt her.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, sexy baby syndrome.
2
SPEAKER_02
And the theater director, we re going to call her Miss B. She had favorites.
2
SPEAKER_00
Are you using B because you want us to think bitch?
2
SPEAKER_00
Be honest.
2
SPEAKER_00
Miss C. Oh.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what you thought of, I thought of Miss Christmas.
2
SPEAKER_02
I thought of the other C word because I studied abroad in New Zealand and that s their favorite word.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
It means nothing else.
2
SPEAKER_00
I love when I travel and I get to throw it around.
2
SPEAKER_02
Me too.
2
SPEAKER_02
I tried to get into improv one time when I got back to the States and it didn t go super well.
2
SPEAKER_02
So she had favorites.
2
SPEAKER_02
I wasn t one of them.
2
SPEAKER_02
I think she didn t really like my personality in general.
2
SPEAKER_02
Like I have a pretty big personality.
2
SPEAKER_00
Is it fair to say you re going to love it or hate it?
2
SPEAKER_00
There s no one s going to be neutral on it.
2
SPEAKER_02
Exactly.
2
SPEAKER_02
It comes out that a local community theater is doing Les Miserables.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I m like, you know what?
2
SPEAKER_02
Let s audition.
2
SPEAKER_02
Like, this is one more chance.
2
SPEAKER_02
So I decide a little bit out of spite to run my audition by Miss B before I go do it to try and get some feedback to make it seem like I was involved.
2
SPEAKER_02
But I really also just wanted her to see like, hey, I m really actually okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
My dream role was Eponine, who is one of the more like romantic leads.
2
SPEAKER_02
She falls in love and she doesn t get it and she dies.
2
SPEAKER_02
So it s like a fun thing.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s a fun thing.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s like you were horny in high school.
2
SPEAKER_00
Is that fair to say?
2
SPEAKER_02
I loved boys and I still do.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
I feel like we re really similar.
2
SPEAKER_02
I do the audition for her.
2
SPEAKER_02
She like is like, yeah, good.
2
SPEAKER_02
It was great.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then I do the audition for the community theater.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t get cast.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then a few weeks later, I am in Miss B s acting class during the day.
2
SPEAKER_02
And me and two other girls are running a scene in the hallway.
2
SPEAKER_02
And Miss B has given us these clipboards.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I got a clipboard that happens to open and I am just like messing with it.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I open it.
2
SPEAKER_02
Inside the clipboard are notes from the Chicago auditions.
2
SPEAKER_02
I close it really fast and I m like, guys, we can t look at these, right?
2
SPEAKER_02
And they re like, yeah, no, we can t.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then we all kind of collectively decide that we are going to look at them because me and one of the other girls did not get the roles we auditioned for.
2
SPEAKER_02
We got much smaller roles in Chicago.
2
SPEAKER_02
We were the jail girls.
2
SPEAKER_02
So I was going to like get hung as the Hungarian girl.
2
SPEAKER_00
So fun.
2
SPEAKER_02
We do this and then we all take a vow of silence.
2
SPEAKER_02
We read the audition notes.
2
SPEAKER_02
We find out why we did or did not get our roles.
2
SPEAKER_00
This could be wonderful.
2
SPEAKER_02
Or horrible.
2
SPEAKER_00
Look, no one wants to hear the truth, but sometimes it can be really helpful to hear the truth.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s a side conversation.
2
SPEAKER_00
We ll earmark that.
2
SPEAKER_02
Mine actually didn t provide any clarity.
2
SPEAKER_02
They said it was too much likeness to Renee Zellweger in the movie.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I was like, that is the most insane thing you could possibly say.
2
SPEAKER_00
Also flattering.
2
SPEAKER_02
So flattering, but definitely inaccurate.
2
SPEAKER_02
A few weeks later, it is finals week, and I m doing a final in the classroom that s right outside of her office with this other girl that also didn t get one of the roles that I had looked at the notes with, and we get called into Miss B s office.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I m like, oh my God, the third girl snitched, didn t she?
2
SPEAKER_00
Three can keep a secret if two are dead.
2
SPEAKER_02
Exactly.
2
SPEAKER_02
So she has us sit down on the couch and then she hands us each two pieces of paper stapled together.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I m like, is there a paper trail of our indiscretion?
2
SPEAKER_02
Is she showing us the notes from the auditions to see if we recognize them and see our reaction?
2
SPEAKER_02
So I then proceed to read and it s the draft of an email that she s printed.
2
SPEAKER_02
And the first page says that we have lost the rights to Chicago and we will not be doing Chicago.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_02
So I look at her and I m like, what does this mean?
2
SPEAKER_02
And she goes, turn the page.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then I turn the page and it says that we are going to do Les Miserables instead.
2
SPEAKER_02
No!
2
SPEAKER_02
This is so exciting.
2
SPEAKER_00
You re so excited.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m so excited too.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m so happy for you.
2
SPEAKER_02
The cast list is like underneath it.
2
SPEAKER_02
Sure enough, my name is next to Eponine s name.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you ve got your dream role.
2
SPEAKER_02
I love this.
2
SPEAKER_00
So now she s Mrs. G. Yeah, she s Mrs. B for best.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay, B for buddy, Mrs. Buddy.
2
SPEAKER_02
She called us in because like we both had minor roles that were then bumped up to lead roles.
2
SPEAKER_02
And she was like, don t fuck it up basically.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I was like, I won t.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I have literally never taken anything more seriously in my life.
2
SPEAKER_02
Like I worked so hard at it and it ended up being so rewarding and fulfilling.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I love this.
2
SPEAKER_00
What a turn of events.
2
SPEAKER_00
This is a great.
3
SPEAKER_00
great story, but also I have been practicing impulse control for the last nine minutes because I did the math.
3
SPEAKER_00
So if you moved to the new school, you were in 10th grade and you said at the time you had an eight-year-old sibling, that means the eight-year-old was born when you were in second grade, which to me means your OCD in third grade was a direct result of that.
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t think anyone in the whole world has put that together.
3
SPEAKER_00
Because you know, it was explained to me, like I had all these tics.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then later in life, and I think I ve told the story, I met a gal who had a form of OCD where she d pull her eyelashes out.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then she said to me, well, you know why you have that?
3
SPEAKER_00
And I said, no.
3
SPEAKER_00
And she said, because you re trying to control a situation when your environment becomes very uncontrollable and uncomfortable and distasteful for you.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so I m thinking here, you had been an only child for seven years.
3
SPEAKER_02
with teen parents who gave me so much attention.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes, and then this new creature arrives and they have to care for her and love her.
3
SPEAKER_00
Your whole world changed.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
And now you start trying to control bizarre things because everything got upended.
3
SPEAKER_02
You really are an armchair expert.
3
SPEAKER_02
That was really good.
3
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_02
The only other inciting event was that they taught us about HIV in third grade, which is like really not developmentally appropriate for a third grader.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re not fucking for quite some time or shooting dope.
3
SPEAKER_03
No, but they made it seem like we ll just get it.
3
SPEAKER_03
I was like afraid to touch surfaces.
3
SPEAKER_03
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
I can only feel so bad for you guys because when I was that age, they showed us the day after, which is what would happen after nuclear holocaust because we are at the height of the Cold War.
3
SPEAKER_00
The nuclear scare.
3
SPEAKER_00
Also great info for a second grader.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, they need to be more careful about what they show children.
3
SPEAKER_02
Curriculums.
3
SPEAKER_02
And like, I still feel like calling myself an underdog is so generous, but like, it wasn t an easy situation I was walking into.
3
SPEAKER_02
This isn t a, you re an underdog in life throughout life.
3
SPEAKER_03
These are individual stories with individual outcomes.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well articulated.
3
SPEAKER_03
Not well articulated at all, but that s okay.
3
SPEAKER_03
You re like, you just made fun of me and now I m an underdog.
3
SPEAKER_02
In that vein, I just want to say you guys started the podcast the year I started teaching.
3
SPEAKER_02
I had a commute that was an hour each way.
3
SPEAKER_02
And you guys were there for each hour.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I ve still continued to like struggle a lot with my mental health.
3
SPEAKER_02
You guys have been there my whole formative adulthood years.
3
SPEAKER_02
No, then made me feel less crazy and made me like myself more.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I m just very grateful for you guys.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m such a huge fan.
3
SPEAKER_02
Thank you.
3
SPEAKER_00
you, Alex, you call that old boyfriend.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
You call him and you tell him eat my shorts, Mike.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s right.
3
SPEAKER_02
I will.
3
SPEAKER_02
I ll tell him you said that specifically and I ll meet him at Arby s if he wants to send them your way, but shout out to my mom and dad.
3
SPEAKER_02
They re going to listen.
3
SPEAKER_02
And my wonderful pair is in my classroom, Jen and Dana.
3
SPEAKER_02
You guys are amazing.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m just like very grateful for everything.
3
SPEAKER_02
So thank you.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s been a delight meeting you.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I loved your story.
3
SPEAKER_02
Thank you, Dr. Monica.
3
SPEAKER_03
So good to meet you.
3
SPEAKER_00
Bye-bye.
3
SPEAKER_00
I just discovered.
3
SPEAKER_03
You have a bump?
3
SPEAKER_00
Maybe.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if it s cancer or a pimple.
3
SPEAKER_00
Better pop it and see if it s cancer.
3
SPEAKER_03
I know what s cancer.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s right on the cherry that s in the mouth.
3
SPEAKER_00
See, it s raised.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was meaning to update you on this.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know, I had a cyst.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, I had like three cyst pimples recently.
3
SPEAKER_03
Oh, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I got into one with a needle on Friday, which you re never supposed to do, but it worked out.
3
SPEAKER_03
It did?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I made it way, way smaller and all the tension went away and I got like weird stuff out.
3
SPEAKER_03
Did you put any like salicylic in there after you used the needle on it?
3
SPEAKER_00
No, I should have probably, but I was delighted.
3
SPEAKER_00
It never goes right.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s like I poke a hole in it and I m pushing, nothing comes out and this is bigger.
3
SPEAKER_00
This one actually, this is the one in 20 that worked.
3
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Congrats.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was your birthday.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ve been thinking about telling you that for a long time now.
3
SPEAKER_03
I appreciate it.
3
SPEAKER_03
The facialist will go in with a needle.
3
SPEAKER_03
But it s like, she has to do it.
3
SPEAKER_00
She knows how to do it.
3
SPEAKER_00
I gotta start seeing her.
3
SPEAKER_00
I really liked Alex.
3
SPEAKER_03
Me too.
3
SPEAKER_00
I love that she loves boys.
3
SPEAKER_00
I love people that love boys.
3
SPEAKER_03
I know you do.
3
SPEAKER_01
Hello.
3
SPEAKER_01
Hello.
3
SPEAKER_01
Hi.
3
SPEAKER_00
How are you?
3
SPEAKER_00
Is this Alana?
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, kind of.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s Alayna.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, Alayna.
3
SPEAKER_01
In your defense, it s kind of spelled wrong.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, it s not.
3
SPEAKER_00
I would say no, it s spelled correctly, but generally people that have it spelled this way would still say Alana, which is frustrating.
3
SPEAKER_00
The English language, it s flawed.
3
SPEAKER_00
And Alayna of Avedor.
3
SPEAKER_03
Avedor?
3
SPEAKER_03
Wait, Arendale?
3
SPEAKER_00
What is it?
3
SPEAKER_00
Alayna of Avedor.
3
SPEAKER_03
No, oh, you re thinking of E-L-E-N-A, Elena of- Oh, geez, okay, never- Avalar?
3
SPEAKER_03
Something.
3
SPEAKER_03
Of the Disney movie.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_01
I know where you re going.
3
SPEAKER_00
I made it worse and I blew it, I m sorry.
3
SPEAKER_00
Elena, where are you at in the country?
3
SPEAKER_01
I m in Winter Park, Colorado right now, but I reside in Reno, Nevada.
3
SPEAKER_01
I have to follow up by saying that my husband runs a nonprofit in California and that s why we live in Reno.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, and I m gonna follow that up with saying that your brow game is on point.
3
SPEAKER_03
It is really nice.
3
SPEAKER_00
And your highlights are effortless and elegant.
3
SPEAKER_03
Wow, these are not compliments I was expecting for that.
3
SPEAKER_00
What did you think I was gonna say?
3
SPEAKER_03
I didn t even know you understood eyebrows and hair like that.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know I know eyebrows.
3
SPEAKER_00
I know, but not like.
3
SPEAKER_00
Hair might be a revelation, but.
3
SPEAKER_03
But not like how perfect they are.
3
SPEAKER_00
Right.
3
SPEAKER_01
I can t tell you how much that means to me right now.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know, I hate to.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I know.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yep.
3
SPEAKER_03
What am I going to say?
3
SPEAKER_03
It s hard to think that you ll be an underdog because you re so beautiful.
3
SPEAKER_00
Boom.
3
SPEAKER_00
Thanks for saying it for me.
3
SPEAKER_00
But we all know being hot doesn t get you out of being an underdog.
3
SPEAKER_00
I know.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know what?
3
SPEAKER_01
As humans, man, we are left to the devices of this world.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I will kick it off and I m going to let Monica know this is going to be a little bit of a roller coaster.
3
SPEAKER_01
There s going to be some highs and lows.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh boy.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I m trying to live at six and a half now.
3
SPEAKER_00
Do you think you re going to get any screams out of Moni?
3
SPEAKER_00
Who also has great eyebrows.
3
SPEAKER_01
Thank you, but not right now.
3
SPEAKER_01
Don t look at them.
3
SPEAKER_01
They re snatched.
3
SPEAKER_01
Thank you.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think there might be a moment where you re like, I hate that.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
I like the prep.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I have to give you a little bit of background because my birth origin story has something to do with it.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I was the third of four born to a waitress and a coal miner, which doesn t start off strong, but I have as much potential as any other person.
3
SPEAKER_01
A lot.
3
SPEAKER_01
Right.
3
SPEAKER_01
Of course.
3
SPEAKER_00
Were you in Appalachia?
3
SPEAKER_00
Where s coal mining still happening?
3
SPEAKER_01
My dad was born and raised in Arkansas, but I was born in New Mexico, a little town called Farmington in the northwest corner.
3
SPEAKER_01
About nine months after I was born, my dad was hit and killed by a drunk driver on Christmas Eve.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh my god.
3
SPEAKER_01
So that s like my first ace point, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
My mom did not handle it well.
3
SPEAKER_01
She was 24 at the time, just had her third child.
3
SPEAKER_01
We lived as best we could for about five years.
3
SPEAKER_01
My mom had moved us to Las Vegas, Nevada.
3
SPEAKER_01
And at the time, my grandparents came to visit.
3
SPEAKER_01
We were homeless living in a trailer.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
Kind of the second E score, I would say.
3
SPEAKER_01
My grandparents moved in and decided that they would adopt me and my sister.
3
SPEAKER_00
Was mom having some addiction issues at this point?
3
SPEAKER_01
Drugs and alcohol were at play.
3
SPEAKER_00
So you probably have four.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it seems like you have 10, honestly, already.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t remember my childhood.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I know it was like all kinds of traumatic.
3
SPEAKER_01
So my mom did end up with a mental illness that started around that time.
3
SPEAKER_01
time.
3
SPEAKER_01
So it was so hard and I don t have any resentment towards her at all.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s just the hand that she was dealt.
3
SPEAKER_01
She was playing it the best she could.
3
SPEAKER_01
So my grandparents, they came in and they really gave me this incredible second chance at life.
3
SPEAKER_01
And my brother stayed with my mom, which is a totally different story and also kind of traumatic.
3
SPEAKER_01
But best thing that my grandparents did for me was they introduced me to sports at
3
SPEAKER_01
a young age.
3
SPEAKER_01
They got me into t-ball at five.
3
SPEAKER_01
A jock was born.
3
SPEAKER_01
Sporty Spice came into the room and started to just go ham on little guy t-ball.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m like, first base, second base, third base, point, let s go.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, it made a lot of sense to me.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then I picked up volleyball and basketball.
3
SPEAKER_01
I played boys and girls club sports growing up and picked up snowboarding, which I loved so much.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then as I got into high school, I was really focused on fast pitch softball.
3
SPEAKER_01
Hoping it was like my ticket out of my small town was actually being actively recruited.
3
SPEAKER_01
My senior in high school by LSU, which I know SEC stuff comes into play.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I m on fire.
3
SPEAKER_01
Totally looking back, I can see how I had some red flags going, like risk-taking behavior, over-drinking at parties.
3
SPEAKER_01
The ACE scores are playing as well.
3
SPEAKER_00
They show up whether you like it or not.
3
SPEAKER_01
Sports was really what kept me on track though.
3
SPEAKER_01
That was like my saving grace.
3
SPEAKER_01
So the turning point comes my senior year in high school.
3
SPEAKER_01
It was actually November 19th of 2000 when we had just gotten a ton of snowfall, like five foot.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I mentioned I m from Northern Mexico, which is about 40 minutes from Durango, Colorado.
4
SPEAKER_00
say that and then I knew Monica would be like, shut up with the geography.
4
SPEAKER_00
My first thought was Durango.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think you would fly into Durango to go to your place probably.
4
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
4
SPEAKER_00
Which is also then an hour from Telluride-ish.
4
SPEAKER_00
Here we go.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s why we started.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s like the nearest ski resort and also the back country stuff is really fun out there.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so the night before November 19th of 2000, me and a bunch of my friends decided
4
SPEAKER_01
We wanted to go out snowboarding in the backcountry.
4
SPEAKER_01
It was well before the resorts opened.
4
SPEAKER_01
For anybody that s a skier, they know it s pretty early in the season.
4
SPEAKER_01
We go out, everybody s really hyped up.
4
SPEAKER_01
We had been talking about doing backflips all summer long.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I knew that I wanted to try my first backflip on a snowboard, the first chance I got, really.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I could do a backflip on a trampoline with my snowboard attached.
4
SPEAKER_01
I did flat ground backflips all the time.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was like, low-key obsessed with it.
4
SPEAKER_01
So November 19th comes, we go out into the backcountry.
4
SPEAKER_01
Everybody s having a really great day.
4
SPEAKER_01
The snow is awesome, but there wasn t really a base to speak of.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so rocks are exposed.
4
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
I know money.
4
SPEAKER_01
I know.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I m up on the top of this hill.
4
SPEAKER_01
We had built this jump and we had been hitting it all day.
4
SPEAKER_01
And as I m standing on the top of that jump, very impulsively, I look over at my friend JC and I say, Hey, I m going to try that backflip.
4
SPEAKER_01
And before he could say a word, I m sliding down that hill and I m thinking to myself, the last thing I want to do is under rotate this.
4
SPEAKER_01
So as I approach the jump, I throw my feet as hard as I can.
4
SPEAKER_01
And as I finished the first flip and I go for the second, I know it s all going south.
4
SPEAKER_01
I did a one and a half back flip landed directly on my back on the snow.
4
SPEAKER_01
And what I later learned was a four foot boulder.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so I broke my back in three places and was paralyzed upon impact.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it wasn t that painful.
4
SPEAKER_01
It was so shocking, like electrifying.
4
SPEAKER_01
The sound was like this big electrical sprung, and then it kind of left my body in a wave down to my toes.
4
SPEAKER_01
My buddy JC runs over, asks me what s going on, and I said, I don t have any idea where my board and my boots.
4
SPEAKER_01
And he said with fear in his eyes that they were on my feet.
4
SPEAKER_01
I knew something was terribly wrong, but there d be like no way I can understand.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was paralyzed upon impact.
4
SPEAKER_01
So, you know, I lay on the snow for about an hour and a half.
4
SPEAKER_01
This is back in 2000.
4
SPEAKER_01
We don t have cell phones.
4
SPEAKER_01
Our friends are freaking out, running to go get help.
4
SPEAKER_01
About an hour and a half later, the helicopter lands.
4
SPEAKER_01
I get airlifted out, taken to the hospital.
4
SPEAKER_01
undergo about an eight hour back reconstruction surgery.
4
SPEAKER_01
I blew out T11.
4
SPEAKER_01
It was shattered.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so those bones flew through my spinal cord.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I m an incomplete T12 injury, which means I was able to get some function back.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I m an athlete.
4
SPEAKER_01
I can t be paralyzed.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s like putting a bird in a cage.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like that s my thing.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s your identity.
4
SPEAKER_01
The long and short of it is the doctor came in, told me what a spinal cord injury was, told me it was the only organ in your whole body that doesn t regenerate after you injure it.
4
SPEAKER_01
And that whatever I get back in the following two years is what I would probably have for the rest of my life.
4
SPEAKER_01
So in my 17 year old head, I m like, let s go.
4
SPEAKER_01
rehab it is.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m going to figure this out and this doctor doesn t know how strong and capable I am, all these things.
4
SPEAKER_01
I love my naive self for that.
4
SPEAKER_01
I love that my mind and body were connected and I really believed that I was going to walk again and all these things.
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, two years come around and nothing s really changed.
4
SPEAKER_01
I ve done all the work.
4
SPEAKER_01
I ve dedicated my life to walking again.
4
SPEAKER_01
And that s when like the lowest point of my story is.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I m just really in a place where I genuinely don t want to be here.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like I don t want to live this particular life anymore.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I call it a God moment and I m not religious, but it was too soon.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I m at my lowest place and I m taking a shortcut through the auxiliary gym at the University of New Mexico where I ended up going.
4
SPEAKER_00
Really quick, are you at a stage where you re using a walker or are you in a wheelchair at this point?
4
SPEAKER_01
I m in a wheelchair.
4
SPEAKER_01
So when I was doing my rehab, I had long leg braces, very much like Forrest Gump style.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like those haven t changed a lot.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I was up on braces.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was standing and walking, but my brain and my body aren t connected anymore.
4
SPEAKER_01
The spinal cord is the information highway and it was not working.
4
SPEAKER_01
I went off to college at UNM.
4
SPEAKER_01
I was genuinely so disappointed and I low-key was so mad I couldn t wear high heels or flip flops.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m 18, you know, it s hard.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m taking the shortcut to the gym and I look up and I see this entire group of people playing wheelchair basketball.
4
SPEAKER_01
I didn t even know that there were other people my age that were in wheelchairs.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like I didn t see anybody on a daily basis.
4
SPEAKER_01
let alone did I see or know about adaptive sports.
4
SPEAKER_01
So I m like timeout jaw dropping moment.
4
SPEAKER_01
I saw these people like crashing into each other, falling over, getting up, shooting three point stationary shots and thinking it.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, this is legitimately amazing.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_01
Everything changed that day.
4
SPEAKER_01
That day I got into a basketball chair and for the first time in two years, I pushed really hard and I got my heart rate going and the endorphins were flowing and I m sweating and I m like, I m running.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
You re flying down a court.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m flying and I m looking over at these guys with no legs or that are paralyzed more than me.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, you guys are not excusing yourselves from your life.
4
SPEAKER_01
You re in it.
4
SPEAKER_01
You re making the most of it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Right.
4
SPEAKER_01
So it was like this very important moment that I couldn t deny was happening.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think you would relate a lot to that moment.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like AA, there s this common denominator.
4
SPEAKER_01
that brings everybody into the same room, but everybody s so different.
4
SPEAKER_01
And there s so many different characters.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t know you from Adam, but because you re disabled, we re going to be friends now.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it was so therapeutic.
4
SPEAKER_01
What happened that day was really the beginning of my next chapter.
4
SPEAKER_01
And so from that point on, I played community ball at UNM, learned about a program at the University of Arizona.
4
SPEAKER_01
Moved out there, played with the women s wheelchair basketball team there, got recruited to play at the University of Alabama.
4
SPEAKER_01
Roll Tide, baby!
4
SPEAKER_01
I ll allow this today.
4
SPEAKER_00
Today and today only.
4
SPEAKER_00
This is a one-time reprieve on Roll Tide.
4
SPEAKER_01
I did my graduate work at Alabama, played wheelchair basketball there while I was preparing to go to my very first Paralympic Games.
4
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
4
SPEAKER_01
In Beijing in 2008.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, wow.
4
SPEAKER_00
By the way, here s the comedy of life.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like if you not become paralyzed, I don t know how great of an athlete you are.
4
SPEAKER_00
Maybe you would have gone to the Olympics in some capacity, but also maybe not.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
More likely not.
4
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
4
SPEAKER_01
Wait for it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
This is where the underdog victoriously rises.
4
SPEAKER_01
So we train that summer, go into Beijing undefeated, go through the tournament undefeated, play the Germans in the final, the buzzer sounds, we ve hit all of our free throws when they mattered the most, we win, we get the gold medal in Beijing in 2008.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m a gold medalist.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God, an Olympic gold medalist.
4
SPEAKER_01
You ve seen the Olympics.
4
SPEAKER_01
I know you guys are both really big fans.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know when Olympic tears happen that everybody s got a story behind those, right?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
I remember that 17 year old girl laying in her bed thinking her life was over and for sure didn t think I would ever be an athlete again.
4
SPEAKER_01
Flips the script and not only are you going to be an athlete, you re going to go farther than you would otherwise to your point.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_01
This is beautiful.
4
SPEAKER_01
This is inspirational.
4
SPEAKER_01
You would think that was the end and I m just going to add two more things.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_00
What if she stood up right now in the middle?
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Oh my God.
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That s not actually part of my story.
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Of course not.
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One of the best things that
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I could have ever done was dream bigger and think bigger than I ever should have.
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It was this ridiculous dream.
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So before I left Beijing, I decided I was going to also move out to Winter Park, Colorado, where I m at now.
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to pursue ski racing.
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And after the 2008 games, try to make the 2010 games in two years in winter sports, which is ridiculous.
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I ve seen this.
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You sit on a single ski.
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Is that what you do?
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Exactly.
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And you have outriggers on your arms.
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And so that s what I did.
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We won the gold in Beijing with the $5,000 that I won from that games, which was not enough.
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We were missing three zeros.
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Paralympians get paid equal to Olympians now, but during my time... I didn t even know Olympians made money, to be honest.
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Neither did I, actually.
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This is on news to me.
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Yeah, they get, I think it s close to $38,000 per gold.
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Oh, okay.
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Definitely do a fact check.
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I move out to Winter Park.
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I m, like, real green.
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falling off the lift nine times a day, getting to the top, falling a lot, crashing a lot.
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By the end of my first season, I ended up winning the downhill at the national championships.
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So downhill is my thing, Dax.
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I like going fast.
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I m a big risk taker.
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And that gave me this real edge over the girls that were already competing in the sport.
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Within the next
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year, I made the Paralympic team for being a ski racer.
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I get to Vancouver in 2010.
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And this is the part of the story I didn t really want to tell you, but my brother was a victim of gun violence in 2009 and was murdered in Denver.
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But overcoming that and going into 2010 as a rookie on the Paralympic team, I had this extra dose of inspiration from him.
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He was a big fan of mine.
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And so I really had nothing to lose.
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And if you know anybody that shows up to the games in that position, they are in the best position, right?
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I had no sponsorship.
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I had nothing riding on it.
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I could just ski however, and it wouldn t matter.
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So the first race I ski was the Giant Slalom, which is not something I m really that great at.
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The best girl fell.
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I m in a position to win.
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It s a two-run race.
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So I m up by a second going into the second run.
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And as I m sitting in the start gate,
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You know how grief is.
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My tears started falling, like I m looking at a gold medal in the face and all of a sudden my goggles are filling up with tears.
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Is it a best run of the two system?
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So you do two runs and the fastest.
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Okay, great.
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I m up going into the second run, but the fastest person from the first run goes last.
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Yeah.
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So I saw all those other girls go ahead, like the anticipation is building.
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I m sitting in the start gate, start crying, and it s just the most inconvenient time to be crying.
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And I pray to my brother just to kind of help me through it and be this race that I don t remember a second of.
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I get to the bottom, I see my name at the top, and I am the first female American to win gold in the summer and winter games.
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Oh my God!
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If you get a chance to YouTube it, the crying that was happening was so cathartic.
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It was not cute.
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It was spiritual.
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It was a mess.
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Okay, so this is the best part of the story.
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After I win that gold, I go on to win another gold, a silver and a bronze.
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I was the most meddling athlete of 2010 Olympic or Paralympic.
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Oh my God.
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After all that, I get like special treatment, right?
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Olympians and Paralympians, after you meddle in the games, you go to the White House.
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I got to meet
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President Obama.
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Barry.
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I got to ride in Michelle Obama s motorcade and go to a school and teach about her Let s Move program.
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Oh my god.
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She gave me a hug.
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I was nominated for several ESPY awards, Hollywood red carpet, fun stuff like that.
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But here s the best.
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This is it.
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I get the opportunity to go on Conan O Brien.
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And I know you just did Jimmy Kimmel and you were very honest about how nerve wracking that was.
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So scary.
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Oh, sure.
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In my head, I was like, Oh my God, this is my moment.
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I m going to play the Paul Rudd joke on Conan.
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And the Paul Rudd joke is where Paul Rudd plays a clip
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Oh, yeah.
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He always brings the same clip.
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Oh, yeah.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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The mac and meat clip.
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Exactly.
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Of the wheelchair guy flying down the hill, falling off the cliff.
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And I m like, I want to be in on this joke.
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I want to play the joke on Conan.
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Oh, my God.
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This is so high risk.
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This is amazing.
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This is so high risk.
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The best part about it was, Dax, your wife, Kristen Bell, was interviewed before me.
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No.
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Oh my Lord.
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Ding, ding, ding.
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All over the place.
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I know too much.
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That s what I m telling you.
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I was so excited to tell you this story to your point.
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It was so high risk.
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I was like, are people going to laugh at this?
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I m in a wheelchair.
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Yes.
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You re so afraid to laugh.
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Although you should laugh at every fucking thing.
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That s what I m saying.
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I wanted people to know I m also a part of this human family.
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Don t fucking pity me.
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Laugh with me.
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That s what I m saying.
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Thank you.
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And so it was epic.
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The joke landed so hard.
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That s amazing.
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And Conan was like, let me be clear.
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You did this to me.
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Let the record reflect.
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already emailed me the most amazing email.
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Oh my lord.
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Sweetie pie.
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So my underdog story doesn t end up with me walking again.
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I am in a wheelchair now, but the life that I have.
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No kidding.
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Oh man.
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In this go round, in this little corner of the universe that I get to be a part of, I am so incredibly lucky and so blessed.
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And I have this savage little four year old that doesn t even care that I m in a wheelchair.
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Of course not.
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Right.
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It s a good life.
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And I feel like so lucky that I get to convey the fulfilling aspects of being a person with a disability.
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It s pretty amazing.
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It s the best story we ve had.
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It s the gold medal story.
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I think of any of the stories we ve had on this show.
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This is another gold medal we re giving you today.
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Yeah, third gold.
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Well, 15th gold medal.
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I don t know what the count is now.
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I have three, but this is for sure very special.
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Incredible story.
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Fucking outrageous.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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The moment you see the people playing, I think back in the gym, the trap of your brain is you ve already shifted your story to my life now sucks.
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And it s that confirmation bias thing.
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So your story is my life sucks.
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And when you see something that challenges that and potentially makes you confront that, that your life might not suck if you step over here, it s crazy how hard it is to step over there.
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I m so delighted you did.
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Well, it s the risk, the same risk taking mentality that got me in a wheelchair is the same risk taker in me that got me back into life.
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Yeah.
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And continues to both kind of get me in trouble.
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Like I am 40 now and I still like to go way too fast.
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And I m like, why is this still a thing?
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But it s taken me around the world and given me such an incredible time.
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That s awesome.
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Well, Elena, this was awesome.
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Yeah.
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Really, really love meeting you and love hearing that story.
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Appreciate you guys so much.
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Can I do a quick shout out?
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Of course.
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My husband runs a nonprofit in the Truckee area called the High Fives Foundation.
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And what they do is they raise funds and give grants to folks that are newly injured from outdoor sports, skiing, surfing, rock climbing, and motocross, all the things.
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So we get them back into life through sports like my story did the same.
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And so we re here teaching folks how to ski and do all this fun stuff.
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Well, one of the girls that works for my husband s organization, her name is Danny Trujillo, and she was in the top two percent on Spotify wrapped for armchair expert, which is hard to do.
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Wow.
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Too much content.
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That s incredible.
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Too much.
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Too much.
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He s on it.
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So I just wanted to shout out to Danny because she s epic.
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And so many of our conversations are about the latest armchair interview, and we just love you guys so much.
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That s delightful.
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Well, we give our love to her as well.
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And it s been great meeting you.
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I hope we cross paths again.
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I hope so too.
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And if you ever want to have me on your show, I would gladly take a piggyback up those stairs.
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And I would enjoy giving you that piggyback ride.
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Or anywhere.
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You can piggyback me into the ocean, whatever works.
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Thank you guys so much.
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This has been such a joy.
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All right, take care.
5
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Bye.
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Oh wow, what a whopper of a story, what a way to end.
5
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That was beautiful.
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She was right, it was a rollercoaster.
5
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Sure was, she delivered.
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Isn t life a rollercoaster?
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Well, that s what my shirt says.
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I feel grateful.
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Me too.
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All right, bye.
5
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Love ya.
5
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Do you wanna sing a tune or something?
5
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We don t have a theme song for this new show, so here I go, go, go.
5
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We re gonna ask some random questions, and with the help of farm cherries, we ll get some suggestions on the fly, right?