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SPEAKER_01
Call from Zimblanity.
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SPEAKER_00
Hey, what s up?
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SPEAKER_00
Hello.
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SPEAKER_00
Hi.
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SPEAKER_01
Hey, what s going on?
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SPEAKER_00
Who is this?
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SPEAKER_01
This is Zimblanity.
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SPEAKER_00
Zimblanity?
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SPEAKER_00
Have we spoken before, Zimblanity?
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SPEAKER_01
No, this is my first time.
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SPEAKER_00
What s up, Zimblanity?
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SPEAKER_00
What s going on with you?
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SPEAKER_01
I don t really know.
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SPEAKER_01
I do wonder to myself
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SPEAKER_01
why I have such an aversion to therapy that it s easier to call in to a lizard.
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SPEAKER_00
Okay.
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SPEAKER_00
And in that wondering as to why you have such an aversion to therapy that you call a lizard, what sorts of, uh, observations have you made or conclusions have you inched towards?
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SPEAKER_01
Um, I think it s just anxiety, you know,
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SPEAKER_01
But I don t know how to fix it.
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SPEAKER_01
And I m hoping that maybe you could do that for me.
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SPEAKER_00
I cannot.
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SPEAKER_00
I can t promise I can do anything for you, but I will try.
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SPEAKER_00
I will talk with you about it.
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SPEAKER_00
What are you anxious about?
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SPEAKER_01
I mean, everything.
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SPEAKER_01
I m like shaking on this phone call right now.
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SPEAKER_01
OK, that makes me nervous.
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SPEAKER_01
Don t know.
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SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
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SPEAKER_00
How old are you?
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SPEAKER_01
I m 30.
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SPEAKER_01
Okay.
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SPEAKER_00
Well, I wouldn t jump to that conclusion.
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SPEAKER_00
Um, how long have you been this, this way as you say?
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SPEAKER_00
Uh, it s been years, man.
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SPEAKER_00
Were you, can you remember a time in your life when you were not this way?
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SPEAKER_00
Whatever, whatever this way means to you.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I, I mean, I really, I really cannot.
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SPEAKER_01
It s, uh, I ve always been an anxious kid.
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SPEAKER_01
Now I m, uh, an anxious non-binary individual.
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SPEAKER_00
Um, all right.
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SPEAKER_00
You were an anxious kid.
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SPEAKER_00
Now you feel like you re an anxious adult.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
I ve tried medication, um, meditation.
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SPEAKER_01
It didn t really help.
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SPEAKER_00
Okay.
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SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
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SPEAKER_00
Well, I ll ask you a few questions.
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SPEAKER_00
Is there, do you think your anxiety is rooted in the future or are you dwelling upon the past or is something about the present giving you anxiety?
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SPEAKER_00
Where, where, where, where is the anxiety or is the answer just all three?
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SPEAKER_01
I mean, it really would be all three.
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SPEAKER_01
I mean, I guess not the past because I really just kind of, I let, I just let things go.
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SPEAKER_01
Uh, but.
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SPEAKER_01
I m constantly worried about, uh, recently, if I m going to finish my apprenticeship, I m worried about my friends, uh, what they think about me, if I m doing right by them, if I m a good dad, just all the things.
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SPEAKER_00
You have a kid.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I do.
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SPEAKER_00
How old s your kid?
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SPEAKER_00
She is eight.
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SPEAKER_00
Eight?
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SPEAKER_01
Eight, yes.
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SPEAKER_00
Eight, wonderful.
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SPEAKER_00
Do you have a significant other of some kind?
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SPEAKER_01
I do.
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SPEAKER_01
I have my partner, Drew.
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SPEAKER_01
He s amazing.
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SPEAKER_00
He s a good boy.
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SPEAKER_00
Okay, and is Drew, like, did you guys do, like, an artificial insemination thing?
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SPEAKER_01
Oh, no.
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SPEAKER_01
So basically, before I
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SPEAKER_01
discovered that I was queer.
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SPEAKER_01
I had been in a really abusive relationship for years.
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SPEAKER_01
I did feel at some point that my only way out of this relationship was through my daughter, my now daughter.
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SPEAKER_01
That s a whole bag of worms.
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SPEAKER_00
Your now daughter is the, so was like you were in a relationship with somebody and, and that a woman is, is that the mother of, of your daughter?
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SPEAKER_01
Yes.
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SPEAKER_00
Okay.
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SPEAKER_00
Is she in your life in any way, shape or form or?
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SPEAKER_01
Um, we have like a shared parenting thing going through a custody, whatever right now.
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SPEAKER_01
I m trying to get full custody.
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SPEAKER_01
It s not looking good.
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SPEAKER_01
Ohio is a mother state as they say.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, really?
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
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SPEAKER_00
Okay.
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SPEAKER_00
So how often do you get to see your daughter?
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SPEAKER_01
Um, it really just depends.
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SPEAKER_01
Uh, my ex is, uh, she thinks that like a long winded text messages with
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SPEAKER_01
grammatically correct spelling is a legal document.
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SPEAKER_01
So sometimes I get to see her every weekend, and then sometimes I m just sitting around hanging out, and then I get a big text message at like 2 a.m.
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SPEAKER_01
that says, I so and so no longer agree to our inherent parenting agreement, and you won t be getting her these days.
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SPEAKER_01
And that s not how that works, but going to court costs like a lot of money.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
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SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
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SPEAKER_00
What do you do?
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SPEAKER_01
Uh, right now, um, I am on disability because of the anxiety and I am trying to do a piercing apprenticeship at a tattoo shop.
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SPEAKER_01
Uh, and,
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SPEAKER_01
I hope that that works out.
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SPEAKER_01
I m hoping I can claw my way off of disability with the apprenticeship, but we ll see.
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SPEAKER_00
And what does Drew do?
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SPEAKER_01
Drew is a tattoo artist.
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SPEAKER_01
He s an illustrator.
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SPEAKER_01
He watches dogs.
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SPEAKER_01
He s really just kind of caught up in the gig economy right now.
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SPEAKER_00
So alright, so because you re on disability, I assume you at one point did have to go to a doctor or a psychiatrist or a therapist of some kind and get like medically diagnosed with something.
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SPEAKER_00
Is that true?
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SPEAKER_00
What were you medically diagnosed with?
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SPEAKER_01
I was diagnosed with severe anxiety,
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SPEAKER_01
uh, severe depression.
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SPEAKER_01
Uh, this is, I mean, like I said, this is things have been happening since I was a child and it s like, it is debilitating.
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SPEAKER_01
Like, but I m trying my best.
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SPEAKER_00
Okay.
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SPEAKER_00
Um, and have you, and you said you, uh, would tell me again why, um, you feel more comfortable talking to me about all, all these things instead of talking to an actual therapist.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so yeah, I don t know something.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t know maybe something about the suit Kind of takes the power away the seriousness of it, but does it I mean does it make it?
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SPEAKER_00
I mean, this is you know Other people are listening Right now does that make you more anxious or less anxious.
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SPEAKER_00
Do you not?
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SPEAKER_01
care about though I mean it
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SPEAKER_01
To me, those are just numbers on a screen.
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SPEAKER_01
I know my friend is listening right now.
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SPEAKER_00
Okay.
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SPEAKER_01
And, uh, that makes me anxious because I know that they can hear me.
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SPEAKER_00
Okay.
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SPEAKER_00
But you wanted to talk regardless.
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SPEAKER_00
So you, but you still feel comfortable enough with them hearing you that you re doing it.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
They ve heard about these things before.
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SPEAKER_01
I wouldn t have talked about these if it was a thing that I wasn t comfortable with them hearing specifically, but say like if somebody else, you know,
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SPEAKER_01
you know, figures out or, you know, someone else in my life that that would probably cause anxiety.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t want to feel like I m like trauma dumping to my friends.
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SPEAKER_00
Sure.
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SPEAKER_00
Okay.
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SPEAKER_00
Can you not afford to see a real therapist?
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SPEAKER_01
So since I m on disability, I m on the Medicaid.
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SPEAKER_01
So sweet.
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SPEAKER_01
I just started, uh, uh,
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SPEAKER_01
Uh, I just got a new therapist last week, but it is, uh, I don t know, like I ve already opened up more to you than I have him.
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SPEAKER_01
And, uh, it s, I don t know.
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SPEAKER_01
It s I, you know, there s like fight, flight, breeze, fawn, and I just like the freeze.
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SPEAKER_00
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, the doctors gave you medication and you tried that.
1
SPEAKER_00
They probably told you to fucking do some kind of meditation thing and you tried that and nothing worked.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I m doing medication right now.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t feel that it s working.
1
SPEAKER_01
I ve honestly had more success with microdosing mushrooms.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh cool.
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SPEAKER_00
Cool, cool, cool.
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SPEAKER_00
Not that I think that s a good idea.
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SPEAKER_00
How did those make you feel?
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SPEAKER_01
Honestly, my first time microdosing the LSD, it blew my mind.
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SPEAKER_01
I felt like I went from some autistic
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SPEAKER_00
anxiety riddled Person to just be in a normie Yeah, yeah You went from you went from 4chan to Pinterest I Really did yeah, I had this was my white girl summer nice nice Okay, and then like here s the thing with drugs I
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SPEAKER_00
I thought about this.
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SPEAKER_00
I thought about this last time I tripped shrooms.
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SPEAKER_00
Drugs are like that scene in the breakfast club.
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SPEAKER_00
Have you ever seen the movie The Breakfast Club?
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
Alright, you know, so when you take mushrooms or LSD, you have that like, oh, I know I have this epiphany and that epiphany and I feel this and I feel that and everything feels like it makes sense, right?
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SPEAKER_00
Yes, it s like that scene in the breath, but it s like that scene in the breakfast club where the nerd, you know, is talking to all the other people.
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SPEAKER_00
And he s like, so Monday morning, are we, are we still going to be friends?
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SPEAKER_00
Did any of this matter?
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SPEAKER_00
You know, so sober you right now talking to me, have you retained any of those epiphanies?
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SPEAKER_00
Did any of them matter or affect life after the trip?
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SPEAKER_01
I mean, in ways, yeah, because I feel like it lowered my defenses or gave me the courage or whatever to take steps towards bettering myself and bettering, like, my life.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was microdosing when I was able to, like, ask my friend for a peering apprenticeship, and I m, like, I m really putting my eggs in this basket, because I m hoping to
1
SPEAKER_01
start making money and be able to save and stuff.
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SPEAKER_01
I wouldn t have been able to put a foot forward if it wasn t for like the strength, the wall or whatever the micro dosing gave to me.
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SPEAKER_00
Okay, that s great.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s good.
1
SPEAKER_00
So you re on a and how long ago was that you were trying out this and doing all these things?
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SPEAKER_01
I mean, I ve been my person for like a year now.
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SPEAKER_01
I think all right.
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SPEAKER_00
It s your life better Today than it was a year ago for sure fantastic Okay, you re on an upward trajectory You re you re a positive stuff.
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SPEAKER_01
I hope so yeah, no.
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SPEAKER_00
I think I think I think you are hmm
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SPEAKER_00
Alright, so you re in a piercing apprentice?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
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SPEAKER_00
And in your anxiety riddled brain, what is the anxiety over the piercing apprentice?
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SPEAKER_01
It s honestly, it s just... I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s a bunch of... It s just drama.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s like...
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SPEAKER_01
Everybody s mad at this person.
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SPEAKER_01
That person s mad at this person.
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SPEAKER_01
I feel like I m going to get swept under the rug because of these things.
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SPEAKER_00
Really?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
I, I, you, you said, when you, you said, um, it s funny, you said I shouldn t be this way at 30.
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SPEAKER_00
I don t think 30 is too old.
1
SPEAKER_00
30 is not too old to have anxiety by any means, but it s, it s too old to engage, to engage in drama in any way, shape or form.
1
SPEAKER_00
Maybe I wouldn t say, I don t want to put an age thing to it at all, but you shouldn t be, in what way are you engaging in this drama?
1
SPEAKER_01
So I m not engaging in it.
1
SPEAKER_01
So basically my mentor shows up late, stuff like that, her car breaks down, people get upset with her.
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SPEAKER_01
I feel like maybe there s some residual upsetness aimed at her that s being placed on me because I m an apprentice.
1
SPEAKER_01
I feel like maybe they re not taking me seriously or they feel that I m not serious about it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m not trying to engage in drama.
1
SPEAKER_01
I just, I know drama happens and like sometimes it boils down to like playing both sides of the fence.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I just, you know, I just want everybody to get along and have a nice time.
1
SPEAKER_00
What s the version of this that involves you spending 100% of your time dedicated to just learning how to get better at your piercing and tattooing?
1
SPEAKER_00
Not thinking about anything outside of that.
1
SPEAKER_00
I guess.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t know what the, uh, I m trying my best to.
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SPEAKER_00
Okay.
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SPEAKER_00
do that as it is okay good good um okay you re trying your best to focus on
1
SPEAKER_00
how you can just do the job instead of instead of worrying about you know what the hell s going on between your mentor and the the other person and then what else you have this crazy uh ex-wife scenario i m sorry about that that s really really really tough yeah it s it s a white trash yeah that s all right that s all right you worried about you re worrying about it whether or not you were a good father yeah
1
SPEAKER_00
Why are you worried about that?
1
SPEAKER_01
Um, I feel like because of like the optimum, because of the anxiety, uh, the depression, uh, I feel like there are people in my life, like, and that are also in her life that like, uh, infantilize me when it comes to like being a father and they, I just,
1
SPEAKER_00
I feel like I m constantly just like questioned on whether or not I m able to do this Okay, so this is what does that have to I I hope this question makes sense, but what does that have to do with you?
1
SPEAKER_01
So like
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SPEAKER_01
Um, maybe I ll try to explain it better.
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SPEAKER_00
You responded by talking about other people s opinions of you and the way that other people are treating you, which, you know, but, but I want to, like, I will, I want to hear about what you think about yourself, not like what other people think about you as a father, but what do you, is it, are those opinions getting to you through to you and now you re kind of infantilizing yourself?
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, maybe I mean, like, you know, you hear things about yourself so much that like, eventually you start to believe it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay, like, I, I think, I think I m just doing my best.
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SPEAKER_01
And that s all you can do.
1
SPEAKER_01
But like, I m great.
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SPEAKER_01
worried about.
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SPEAKER_00
Great.
1
SPEAKER_00
So.
1
SPEAKER_00
So if you think you re sorry, like,
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SPEAKER_00
Take take the external if you think you re doing the best that you can do to be a father then Why why are you anxious about whether or not you re a good father just because other people are treating you like a baby because you have autism
2
SPEAKER_02
I mean, yeah, I, you know, it s also like we deal with courts right now.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_02
So I recently had to get a guardian adult item for the, uh, custody battle thing.
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SPEAKER_02
And it s basically a lawyer who comes in, visits both houses and, uh, determines which parent is better for like the child s wellbeing.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_02
And, uh,
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SPEAKER_02
you know, like my house, it s just me and two bedroom apartment.
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SPEAKER_02
It s just me and my daughter.
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SPEAKER_02
And at her mother s house, there s like 15 people in this house.
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SPEAKER_02
One of the guys, a known predator.
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SPEAKER_02
Um, she s got my daughter and like four other kids living in an unfinished basement.
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SPEAKER_02
Um, and like the guardian came
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SPEAKER_02
to both our houses and then decided that my place wouldn t be suitable to raise the child here because my house was disorganized.
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SPEAKER_01
I m sorry to hear that.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it s a lot.
2
SPEAKER_01
Hmm.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m sorry to hear that.
2
SPEAKER_01
Hmm.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah, but I.
2
SPEAKER_01
Obviously, you know, we re not gonna be able to like fix everything or anything.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if this conversation has been remotely helpful for you, but um...
2
SPEAKER_01
At least in terms of like, just to start off, just as like a foundation of something.
2
SPEAKER_01
At least in terms of like what you can and cannot control in this situation.
2
SPEAKER_01
I hope that you take control of like your own perspective on yourself.
2
SPEAKER_01
and wrestle it away from this idea that you re a bad father because you re trying your best and you know you re trying your best you said it yourself so yeah don t i i just i hope you re not torturing yourself in that way and that you maintain and you know that you are a good father because you re trying your best and even these things that are
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SPEAKER_01
you know that you didn t choose that are you know like depression and anxiety you know you re you re not a bad father because you have depression anxiety you re a good father because you re fighting against those things with active effort because you care and that s the most important thing is that you care and you re trying so i hope you understand that um
2
SPEAKER_01
And then you re not, you know, suffering more in your own brain.
2
SPEAKER_01
Internally on top of the external suffering.
2
SPEAKER_01
Does any of that make sense or resonate with you in any way, shape or form?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it makes sense.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
Um, do you have any thoughts about any of that?
2
SPEAKER_02
Um,
2
SPEAKER_02
I mean, yeah, I mean, I m trying that.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s why I like the court and stuff is, you know, where I m going through with that.
2
SPEAKER_02
And, uh, you know, I ve done all that I could do and I m doing all that I could do.
2
SPEAKER_02
I just hope that like, when my daughter gets older, she sees that.
2
SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
2
SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
2
SPEAKER_00
Do you... I don t know, man.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_00
Is there any other aspect of this that you wanted to talk about specifically?
2
SPEAKER_00
No, I think I m good.
2
SPEAKER_01
Was this helpful in any way, shape, or form for your life?
2
SPEAKER_02
I, I hope so.
2
SPEAKER_02
I mean, uh, this was like, you know, it, uh, I had a lot of anxiety about making this call and the fact that I did like, um, you know, and I didn t just like hang up, you know, that s okay.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m impressed with myself over that.
2
SPEAKER_01
Give yourself some fucking credit.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s the, that s, that s, that s the thing.
2
SPEAKER_01
Give yourself some credit.
2
SPEAKER_01
I just, dude, if you take one thing away from this call, I just hope you give yourself,
2
SPEAKER_01
some credit because you re fighting again you have all these like things that you re fighting against internally but you re fighting against them right you have you have debilitating anxiety but yet you picked up the phone and you called or you know you you you didn t just sit around and succumb to your issues
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, even if, even if there are some or most days that you do, you know, you, you, you tried and I hope you look at evidence that exists that you tried your best.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I hope you internalize it because you know, the, the stories that we fucking tell ourselves and they re important.
2
SPEAKER_01
Um, what s your name again?
2
SPEAKER_02
Uh, it s been Blanity.
2
SPEAKER_01
Zimblanity.
2
SPEAKER_01
Did you pick that name for yourself?
2
SPEAKER_02
I did pick that name.
2
SPEAKER_01
What does that mean?
2
SPEAKER_01
What is that from?
2
SPEAKER_02
Uh, so Zimblanity is the opposite of serendipity.
2
SPEAKER_01
I do.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know what?
2
SPEAKER_01
I totally thought that was just a word that you made up.
2
SPEAKER_02
No.
2
SPEAKER_01
Zimblanity is the opposite of security?
2
SPEAKER_02
Of serendipity.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s the opposite of serendipity.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so define serendipity for me.
2
SPEAKER_02
Serendipity is like, you know, like a wonderful thing.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s like a stroke of genius, like a muse, you know, like it s... And zimblanity is like something that s unwanted but inevitable, like a grandma dying.
2
SPEAKER_02
Why did you name yourself that?
2
SPEAKER_02
I just thought it sounded pretty.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_01
Sorry, I don t mean to make fun of your, the name that you chose for yourself, but I just, it sounds negative.
2
SPEAKER_02
No, I, yeah, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
It sounds negative, but like I m, you know, I, I like to, I just, I thought it sounded pretty.
2
SPEAKER_02
I d like to, I d like for people to hear that and then think of,
2
SPEAKER_02
something positive.
2
SPEAKER_02
I think the people who are in my life hear Zimblanity and think of me and the good times we have together.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re taking Zimblanity back.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re flipping it.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re making Zimblanity into Serenity.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
All right, I respect that.
2
SPEAKER_01
Is there, Blandon, anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I ve been reading the chat as we ve been having this talk.
2
SPEAKER_02
This chat is wonderful.
2
SPEAKER_02
If it s okay, I d like to give a shout out to my friend, if that s fine.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, who s your friend?
2
SPEAKER_02
My friend is Kat Bogart.
2
SPEAKER_02
Could I plug their Instagram or is that...
2
SPEAKER_01
Do they want you to plug their Instagram?
2
SPEAKER_01
Because a bunch of people might send them links to weird Bitcoin addresses and shit.
2
SPEAKER_02
I mean, they would probably appreciate it.
2
SPEAKER_01
What do they do?
2
SPEAKER_01
What s the Instagram?
2
SPEAKER_02
They re a tattoo artist, so it s their professional page.
2
SPEAKER_01
All right, sure.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s Kat Bogart.
2
SPEAKER_02
Their page is Kat Bogart Inc.
2
SPEAKER_02
They are an amazing person.
2
SPEAKER_02
They re my favorite artist.
2
SPEAKER_02
They re all around a good being.
2
SPEAKER_02
Do you know this person?
2
SPEAKER_02
I do.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s Kat with a K. Okay.
2
SPEAKER_01
All right, we ll check them out.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, the thing is, I don t know, if it s your thing, it s like, all right, well, you know, yeah, all right, we ll check that out.
2
SPEAKER_01
We ll, we can, people will, someone will go on Instagram and look at it and go like, that s pretty cool.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, somebody added it in the chat.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, Z, have a good rest of your day.
3
SPEAKER_01
Thank you, man.
3
SPEAKER_01
I do feel that this helped.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, good.
3
SPEAKER_00
Thanks, man.
3
SPEAKER_00
I appreciate that.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m glad.
3
SPEAKER_00
Take care, Z. You too.
3
SPEAKER_00
All right, doing some real therapy.
3
SPEAKER_00
therapy gecko trying our best yeah that was interesting that was interesting
3
SPEAKER_00
Dude, I don t know, sometimes I really, that whole thing of like, I want to, I m off and on about the whole thing of like, I want to call you because I don t, I can t call a real therapist.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like there s definitely, there s lots of days and times where that makes me uncomfortable, but there s also like a lot of days and times where I m like, you know what?
3
SPEAKER_00
But let me give it a try.
3
SPEAKER_00
Fuck it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Why not?
3
SPEAKER_00
Let me give it a try.
3
SPEAKER_00
Let s dive in.
3
SPEAKER_00
Fuck it.
3
SPEAKER_00
I do, I feel that way.
3
SPEAKER_00
I feel that way when I get really sad.
3
SPEAKER_00
When I get really, like if I m walking into this thing and I m, and I m sad myself, I m like, Oh, you got like a real serious, sad, dire thing.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know, let s talk about it.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ll let s get into yours.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know?
3
SPEAKER_00
Uh, I feel more.
3
SPEAKER_00
So then I feel, I feel confident.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m like, all right, maybe I can, you know, do, do something, you know, try to, but then there s a lot of times where I m like, fuck man.
3
SPEAKER_00
I just, I just, I don t know what the fuck I signed up for, but that, that, that didn t feel like that.
3
SPEAKER_00
They didn t feel like that.
3
SPEAKER_00
I liked, I liked talking to Z. Um.
3
SPEAKER_00
But next time we ll do more diarrhea stuff.
3
SPEAKER_00
Haven t had diarrhea stuff in a while, actually.
3
SPEAKER_00
And to be honest, if I had to choose between a podcast of all diarrhea stuff and all heavy stories, I d go with the heavy stories, because I can only do so much diarrhea.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m just being a gecko and doing a podcast.
3
SPEAKER_00
Sweet.
3
SPEAKER_01
Hello?
3
SPEAKER_01
Hey, what s up?
3
SPEAKER_01
What?
3
SPEAKER_01
Wait, am I on the show?
3
SPEAKER_00
You re on the show.
3
SPEAKER_00
What s up, man?
3
SPEAKER_00
What s your name?
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh man, I m Nick.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s crazy.
3
SPEAKER_01
How are you doing?
3
SPEAKER_00
Nick, I m doing, I m doing okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m hanging in there.
3
SPEAKER_00
What s going on with you?
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God, this is crazy.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m, I m chilling with my, my, like my two friends on discord and I just started watching the stream and I was like,
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh man, we saw a call, and we were like, nah, we re not gonna call.
3
SPEAKER_01
We didn t really watch too much of the show.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I m a big fan, but my friend doesn t watch.
3
SPEAKER_01
We were gonna call, but, dude, I m like super stoned, but I m sorry.
3
SPEAKER_00
Nah, that s okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was a little stoned earlier.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was actually, actually right before, I never, dude, all right, I gotta be honest with you guys.
3
SPEAKER_00
I never do this, and I talk about how I never do this.
3
SPEAKER_00
I can t talk about how I never do it anymore, because I ve started.
3
SPEAKER_00
Not doing it all the time, but like, I ve had a couple, I ve done a couple of these recording sessions.
3
SPEAKER_00
Um, like the past two of them, I was like, I was like, fuck it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Let me, uh, and again, I, it s been three years.
3
SPEAKER_00
I never do this, but I was like, fuck it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Let me just get high and talk and talk and, uh, and just do the stream.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I did it high.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I had a great time.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was like, I was up for like five hours fucking talking to people and it was great.
3
SPEAKER_00
Which by the way is the worst thing that could possibly happen because you know what happens if you don t, you know what happens if you live stream yourself as a gecko talking to people sober for three years and then you do it high once and it goes well.
3
SPEAKER_00
Do you know what happens Nick?
3
SPEAKER_01
I think you might turn into a gecko.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s a good one.
3
SPEAKER_00
I like that.
3
SPEAKER_00
But what happens is you go, oh, that was so great.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know what I should do?
3
SPEAKER_00
I should get high every time I go to record my show.
3
SPEAKER_00
And so this is high recording session number two.
3
SPEAKER_00
We re about two hours into this, though.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m kind of on like a... The come down from weed is pretty bad.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s what I m on right now.
3
SPEAKER_00
I actually thought for a second, I m looking at my little vape pen right now, and I thought for a second about hitting it before talking to you.
3
SPEAKER_00
So then, I mean, you re stoned and I could have been like, oh, I m stoned too.
3
SPEAKER_00
What s up, man?
3
SPEAKER_01
But... Hey man, it s not too late to hit that blinker.
3
SPEAKER_00
Ah, damn it.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t know, you don t want to make it a habit, right?
3
SPEAKER_00
Because then I m going to start... I just... I ve been getting high too much.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ve been crossing boundaries that I had set.
3
SPEAKER_00
I had set certain boundaries of like, oh, I won t do it this day and... Or I won t do it, you know, in the mornings or, you know, when I have this to do or that to do.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I ve started crossing these boundaries.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s hard because what I want so badly, I want to be...
3
SPEAKER_00
fuck Seth Rogen talks about how he like will get high and go into these like multi-million dollar movie pitches and stuff like that I ve I ve I think I ve told this story I ve probably told the story of the podcast before but um
3
SPEAKER_00
Had a friend I Was hanging off my friend s brother.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was like we were visiting him in New York, and he s like he was like trying to be an actor and He was in New York like auditioning, and he was telling us about this audition He was going to and he s like yeah, this is a huge part.
3
SPEAKER_00
I you know if I booked this commercial and
3
SPEAKER_00
it s gonna be gonna be a ton of money and it s like really important and this is this is like a dream gig and i really really hope i get it and then right before he leaves to this audition that he s talking about how important it is he just takes the biggest bong rip i ve ever seen
3
SPEAKER_00
And he walks out the door to this fucking audition and I m like, I wish I could do that so badly I wish I wish I could like just smoke weed like it was nothing and it just made my life Easy and fun all the time and some and it s like a roll of dice man Because like like last you know the other night when I did when I did this stream hi
3
SPEAKER_00
It was great.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was it was a great five hours, and it did do that It did what I always wanted to do just make things feel a little more easy and fun But it doesn t always do that it doesn t always do that you can t always count on it doing that every single time because if you do then you ll run into I so many times where I think it s gonna do that and Then about a minute once it starts really kicking, and I m like why the fuck did I just get high grocery store that was a stupid idea
3
SPEAKER_00
And now I m walking around the grocery store forgetting why I came in and thinking about my life and it was just stupid.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I do it because I want to be like my friend s brother.
3
SPEAKER_00
I want to have weed just be like a thing that makes my life better, but it s too much of a gamble.
3
SPEAKER_00
Has being stoned helped you enjoy my rambling at all?
3
SPEAKER_00
Or has it made it worse?
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, it s made it so much better.
3
SPEAKER_01
I feel like I can understand with you.
3
SPEAKER_01
You re you re rambling because I m on like a very similar wavelength right now Yeah Yeah, do you feel nervous at all?
3
SPEAKER_00
Do you feel anxious or paranoid that you sound stupid?
3
SPEAKER_01
No, dude, I m stupid Are you still on discord with your friends Yeah, I m on discord of my friends right now.
3
SPEAKER_01
I just stepped away from the computer so I can hear I
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, cool.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was hoping you weren t still, I guess, having a conversation with them and me.
3
SPEAKER_00
That would be stupid.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, alright.
3
SPEAKER_00
Nicholas?
3
SPEAKER_00
Nick?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s Nick.
3
SPEAKER_00
Dude, it s okay if there s not.
3
SPEAKER_00
We can just keep... We can just sit in silence.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t care.
3
SPEAKER_01
Hey, do you play any video games?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I play video games.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t play, like, Valorant or any of the online shit.
3
SPEAKER_01
Have you heard of Dark and Darker?
3
SPEAKER_00
Nope.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh my god.
3
SPEAKER_01
You have to play Dark and Darker.
3
SPEAKER_00
Is it on the Nintendo Switch?
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, unfortunately not.
3
SPEAKER_00
I am never, ever, ever going to play it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh man.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s the worst game ever made, but it s amazing.
3
SPEAKER_00
Alright, well you re really selling it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Was that what you want- I was gonna say before I, uh, whatever.
3
SPEAKER_00
Was there anything in particular you called in to want to talk about?
3
SPEAKER_01
It s... No, not exactly, but I could, you know, I can talk to you about how much I, like, love and hate this one game, Dark and Darker.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s very new, like, early access game.
3
SPEAKER_00
What other games do you play?
3
SPEAKER_00
I play other games I hate, like Rust.
3
SPEAKER_00
Why do you- why do you play so many games that you hate?
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, because it s, uh... Because there s like, uh... I play survival games.
4
SPEAKER_00
And... So, it s just... It s you, and me.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s me and my best friend.
4
SPEAKER_00
And we play these games together.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it s us against the whole world.
4
SPEAKER_00
The whole... In Rust, it s this one game we play quite often.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s, uh... You have to, like... You start off, and you re on, like, this island, and you have a rock.
4
SPEAKER_00
And you re naked, your dick is out, and your balls are out.
4
SPEAKER_00
And, uh...
4
SPEAKER_00
And everyone else around you is the same way.
4
SPEAKER_00
And you have to build a base, and then you get guns and you have to shoot people.
4
SPEAKER_00
And you take their bases and you blow into their bases and take all their shit.
4
SPEAKER_00
And the entire time they re trying to blow into your base and they re screaming at you that they re gonna get on the game when you re offline and take your stuff.
4
SPEAKER_01
So you can t sleep, you know, that s so much that sounds like so much fun Playing that game with your friends.
4
SPEAKER_01
That sounds like so much fucking fun Damn, I wish I haven t played I haven t really played games online with my friends.
4
SPEAKER_01
I
4
SPEAKER_01
I really haven t done that since middle school.
4
SPEAKER_01
Or, like, early high school.
4
SPEAKER_01
I haven t done that in a decade.
4
SPEAKER_01
Over a decade.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s fun, man.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s fun.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I ll play, like, I ll play LAN shit.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know?
4
SPEAKER_01
Play some Mario Kart.
4
SPEAKER_01
I played a ton of Super Smash Bros.
4
SPEAKER_01
Melee in high school and college and a little bit after college, but I haven t played online in a while.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, that sounds so much fun.
4
SPEAKER_01
How old are you?
4
SPEAKER_01
Are you in college right now?
4
SPEAKER_00
Uh, no, right now I m not in college and I m 22.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
What do you, uh, what do you do with your life?
4
SPEAKER_00
Uh, I, I make music and I work at a pizza place.
4
SPEAKER_01
You make music and you work at a pizza place?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Is the pizza any good?
4
SPEAKER_01
No, it s the shittest pizza ever.
4
SPEAKER_01
What s it called?
4
SPEAKER_01
What s the pizza place?
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, no.
4
SPEAKER_01
Is it a chain?
4
SPEAKER_01
Is it a chain?
4
SPEAKER_01
Is it a chain?
4
SPEAKER_00
No, it s not a big chain.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, you don t have to.
4
SPEAKER_00
You don t have to put on blast, but it s it has to do with New York, but it s it s not that s not very good.
4
SPEAKER_00
But OK, I mean, it s good when I get it for free.
4
SPEAKER_00
But besides that, yeah, it s pretty bad.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s hard to fuck up pizza.
4
SPEAKER_00
I disagree.
4
SPEAKER_00
I couldn t fuck a pizza.
4
SPEAKER_00
I fucked up a lot of pizzas.
4
SPEAKER_01
Do you deliver pizzas or do you make the pizzas?
4
SPEAKER_01
I cut the pizza.
4
SPEAKER_01
Alright, so you are involved.
4
SPEAKER_01
Have you fucked up a lot of pizzas?
4
SPEAKER_01
Cutting them stupidly?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, dude.
4
SPEAKER_00
Sometimes I just forget to cut them.
4
SPEAKER_00
You forget to cut them?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, because... Let me ask you a question before you answer the because.
4
SPEAKER_01
Do you get high at work?
4
SPEAKER_01
I get high before work.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then I get high after work.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s the most hilarious way of... No, I don t get high at work.
4
SPEAKER_01
I get high before work.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s different.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, because then...
4
SPEAKER_00
I get to experience the, uh, like the calm down and then gradually I feel like I get better and better at my job.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t, I, I, I m going to challenge you.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t think weed is making you better at your job.
4
SPEAKER_01
It might make your job better for you.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
You re getting better.
4
SPEAKER_01
You re getting more sober as the night progresses.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
So then I get better and better.
4
SPEAKER_00
So at the end of the night I close and I m just like,
4
SPEAKER_00
hyper aware.
4
SPEAKER_01
Hmm.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
You re 22.
4
SPEAKER_01
You like to get high.
4
SPEAKER_01
You work at a pizza place.
4
SPEAKER_01
Uh, there s a, there s a really funny onion article that says something like everyone involved in the, uh, manufacturing delivery and consumption of pizza.
4
SPEAKER_01
Extremely high.
4
SPEAKER_01
Uh,
4
SPEAKER_01
Whatever, I thought it was funny.
4
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, so you work at a pizza place, you get high, you play video games with your friends.
4
SPEAKER_01
That sounds awesome, honestly.
4
SPEAKER_01
That sounds pretty cool.
4
SPEAKER_01
Do you have higher aspirations or are you set?
4
SPEAKER_00
I really, really want to play music for people.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
What kind of music do you make?
4
SPEAKER_00
I really like jazz.
4
SPEAKER_00
I really love jazz and I really love indie music.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I just want to make music that is very personal to myself.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I mean, I just love music so very much.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s always been an escape for me.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I don t know, I just want to make music that is solely me.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it s what I just create, what only I can create.
4
SPEAKER_00
Because I think that it s, you know, I know there s so many other artists, but I m still myself and only I can say
4
SPEAKER_00
I only like to make music I can make.
4
SPEAKER_00
I just want to make my jazz indie music.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s a beautiful way of thinking about it, making only what you can make.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s really how you should make stuff.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
So beautiful.
4
SPEAKER_00
Love you.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s cool.
4
SPEAKER_01
I like that.
4
SPEAKER_01
You can make music from the unique perspective of a guy who likes to get high and play video games.
4
SPEAKER_01
No, I m just fucking with you.
4
SPEAKER_01
Um, what, what perspective do you make the music from?
4
SPEAKER_00
Uh, I, I guess I think about,
4
SPEAKER_00
music like my I look at the perspective I take is I try to see the full image of a completed idea in my head and then I try to break it down into its smaller individual parts and Try to achieve achieve the idea.
4
SPEAKER_00
I had in my head.
4
SPEAKER_01
Who do you like?
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh Charlie Parker, okay, I really like Miles Davis and
4
SPEAKER_01
Miles, all right, I like Miles.
4
SPEAKER_01
I don t know who Charlie Parker is, but I listen to a lot of Miles Davis.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, he was so awesome.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was listening to, he just had a new remastered album come, I mean, like, well, he s dead, but they remastered like one of his sessions not too long ago and I ve been listening to it and it s super amazing.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s called, I think, Move.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s amazing.
4
SPEAKER_01
Nice, nice.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh no, it s the second time around.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s amazing.
4
SPEAKER_01
Do you post shit?
4
SPEAKER_01
Do you make TikToks and whatever?
4
SPEAKER_01
Do you put things on the internet?
4
SPEAKER_00
No, I don t.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think that s my problem.
4
SPEAKER_01
Are you nervous?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I do get nervous about it, but I try, I m trying to break out of my shell.
4
SPEAKER_01
Are you nervous that the 12 year old boys that you re gunning down in this video game are going to find out that you make music and mass, uh, uh, like one star it on whatever streaming service you put it on?
4
SPEAKER_00
Uh, now I am.
4
SPEAKER_00
Hmm.
4
Hmm.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, so you re nervous.
4
SPEAKER_00
Why is it like a thing of being perceived?
4
SPEAKER_00
Not exactly.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
So what s the issue?
4
SPEAKER_00
I think it s just, I ve been working on getting to a level that is, I guess, good enough in my head, but I think that that just keeps getting to a higher standard.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then, uh, and then I put, I used to put myself down a lot, but I ve tried to, how do you say, like calm that down, which I have.
4
SPEAKER_00
And now I ve, I ve,
4
SPEAKER_00
I feel a lot more comfortable.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I ve been a little bit more active in making music lately.
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, I ve been trying to, I ve been creating more songs and really practicing more and playing and getting on Ableton and just, and starting something a lot more often.
4
SPEAKER_00
I haven t, like, met with, like, thinking about it, which isn t so hard on myself.
4
SPEAKER_01
Are you enjoying the process?
4
SPEAKER_00
I love it now.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, you ll be fine.
4
SPEAKER_01
You ll be fine.
4
SPEAKER_01
You ll be you ll be better you I you Making music in your room and showing it to no one and enjoying doing that.
4
SPEAKER_01
You ll be happier than somebody who s like Just I don t know trying to go trying to get tick tock famous for the sake of Getting tick tock famous.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know I m saying so you re fine.
4
SPEAKER_01
You re gonna have a great life.
4
SPEAKER_01
I I think I
4
SPEAKER_01
I think you got it going on.
4
SPEAKER_01
Do you feel that way?
5
SPEAKER_01
Uh, yeah, I do think so.
5
SPEAKER_01
I know I have amazing people in my life, but my best friends are, are listening to the show right now.
5
SPEAKER_01
And man, I love them so much.
5
SPEAKER_01
They re awesome.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s cool, man.
5
SPEAKER_00
You re going to get back there and they re all going to call you gay for saying that.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, they call me gay already.
5
SPEAKER_01
They re probably calling me gay this second.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, it s fair.
5
SPEAKER_00
Uh, well, Nick.
5
SPEAKER_00
Is there anything else you wanted to say before we get out of here I Hope you hit that blinker What does that mean?
5
SPEAKER_00
Why have I been seeing that of rounds?
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh because a blinkers when you hit your vape pen and you hit it until you
5
SPEAKER_00
the vape pen blinks because it just can t get it just can t power anymore i ve never i ve never done that i don t want to do that it sounds that sounds like too much it is too much but okay thanks for explaining what that means i was wondering what that meant you hit you do whatever with your life hey how do i get free pizza from you uh dude i don t even get free pizza like i barely get free pizza
5
SPEAKER_01
So, I mean, you can, you can get it.
5
SPEAKER_00
You don t have to, you don t have to actually give me an answer to that question.
5
SPEAKER_00
Um, Nick, thank you very much for calling GAC bless you and enjoy God.
5
SPEAKER_00
Enjoy your life.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m jealous of you.
5
SPEAKER_00
You get to eat pizza and get high.
5
SPEAKER_00
And well, I guess I can do that too.
5
SPEAKER_00
All right.
5
SPEAKER_00
In fact, I m gonna actually go do that.
5
SPEAKER_01
I hope you enjoy that.
5
SPEAKER_01
Thank you for having me on.
5
SPEAKER_01
I really, really, I love your show.
5
SPEAKER_01
You,
5
SPEAKER_01
You re my favorite streamer.
5
SPEAKER_01
I listen to like every single one of your episodes.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh shit.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know, like your, your show is amazing.
5
SPEAKER_00
Thanks.
5
SPEAKER_01
Uh, what you do for people is just awesome.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know, the people you have on really give me different perspectives and, and, you know, after watching your show, I think about some things, you know, very like, how do you say very like niche topics very differently and openly.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I, I really appreciate your show for that.
5
SPEAKER_00
Thanks, man.
5
SPEAKER_00
That makes me feel very happy to hear.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m always wondering if people are listening to this, so I appreciate it, man.
5
SPEAKER_00
I really do.
5
SPEAKER_00
Good luck to you.
5
SPEAKER_00
Good luck in your life.
5
SPEAKER_00
Damn, I m fucking awkward.
5
SPEAKER_00
I wish I had a better... I really do appreciate you saying what you said, and I m thinking like, what s the best, most gracious way to respond to you being nice to me?
5
SPEAKER_01
You know what you can say?
5
SPEAKER_01
You can say, ya tu sabes.
5
SPEAKER_00
Ya tu sabe.
5
SPEAKER_00
What does that mean?
5
SPEAKER_01
That means you already know.
5
SPEAKER_00
Ya tu sabe.
5
SPEAKER_00
Soy la rana de la playa, baby.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Ya tu sabe.
5
SPEAKER_01
Dale.
5
SPEAKER_01
Adios.
5
SPEAKER_01
Adios, dale.
5
SPEAKER_00
Hello.
5
SPEAKER_02
Hello.
5
SPEAKER_00
What s your name?
5
SPEAKER_02
Haley.
5
SPEAKER_00
What s up Haley?
5
SPEAKER_00
How s life?
5
SPEAKER_02
Um, it s all right.
5
SPEAKER_00
Is there any particular aspect of it or of anything that you wanted to talk about tonight?
5
SPEAKER_02
Um, I didn t, nothing specifically.
5
SPEAKER_02
I just wanted to chat.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, um, you, uh, you said that your life was, was, could be better.
5
SPEAKER_02
Um, yeah, I guess.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, what would make it better?
5
SPEAKER_02
Um, just like a better job and an apartment shit like that.
5
SPEAKER_00
Where, where do you, what do you do now as a job?
5
SPEAKER_02
Um, I work at a zoo.
5
SPEAKER_00
That sounds like a cool job.
5
SPEAKER_00
Actually, no, that sounds like a horrible job.
5
SPEAKER_02
Uh, it s, it s, it s fun.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s just, it s just like, we re under like a new employment people system.
5
SPEAKER_02
So it like sucks hard right now.
5
SPEAKER_00
Have the pigs taken over the farm?
5
SPEAKER_00
Is your boss a giraffe?
5
SPEAKER_02
Uh, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
Unfortunately.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s, uh, I would want- I would- If my boss was a giraffe, I would quit too.
5
SPEAKER_00
I would be like, this is- Actually, no, I would stay.
5
SPEAKER_00
That d be awesome if your boss was a giraffe.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I think- I think maybe a giraffe could run the zoo better.
5
SPEAKER_02
Probably.
5
SPEAKER_00
Whoo shots fired zoo director get fucked Yeah, okay, well all right, so you work at the zoo you get to touch koalas and You make pretzels at you make pretzels at the zoo I
5
SPEAKER_00
You re like that fuck you re like dude.
5
SPEAKER_00
You re like the grandpa from up.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s a grandpa from up job You re like that guy how old are you I am that guy I m 20 Okay, it s a little too young to be making pretzels at the zoo I
5
SPEAKER_00
Because the guy who makes whoever the person that makes the pretzels at the zoo is supposed to like They don t just make pretzels.
5
SPEAKER_00
They give you inspirational life lessons that can only be fully understood by people who ve lived at least 75 years of life No That s not true.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s how it works in the movies All right, you make pretzels at the zoo.
5
SPEAKER_00
Why is it?
5
SPEAKER_00
Why is it?
5
SPEAKER_00
Why does that make you unhappy?
5
SPEAKER_00
Why is that bad?
5
SPEAKER_02
Like, working at the zoo?
5
SPEAKER_02
I mean, it s not like the job itself.
5
SPEAKER_02
Like, it s fun.
5
SPEAKER_02
I like seeing the animals and stuff whenever I get to, but it s just, like, the people who run it have, like, ruined it hard.
5
SPEAKER_00
How much of a dick do you have to be to ruin the zoo?
5
SPEAKER_00
What are they doing to ruin it?
5
SPEAKER_02
They just treat their employees like shit.
5
SPEAKER_02
Like, they took away, like,
5
SPEAKER_02
We would get like a free meal a day, but they like took that away, and they make us pay like $20 for like extra uniform.
5
SPEAKER_00
Really?
5
SPEAKER_00
Even the animals get a free meal a day.
5
SPEAKER_02
I know, they treat them better than us.
5
SPEAKER_00
Have you stormed in?
5
SPEAKER_00
Because that s the perfect thing to say to your boss at the zoo.
5
SPEAKER_00
You treat the animals better than you do us.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s the perfect thing.
5
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I would say that to him, but I don t get to talk to the big man.
5
SPEAKER_02
There s people who are in charge of us, and then there s people in charge of them, and then it s a big thing.
5
SPEAKER_00
Is making the pretzels the lowest rung of the ladder?
5
SPEAKER_02
No.
5
SPEAKER_02
I think it s the security guard.
5
SPEAKER_02
Security guard they get paid less than really Really yeah, you get you can you get paid?
5
SPEAKER_00
Less as a security guard than you do for making pretzels.
5
SPEAKER_00
Let me tell you why that s funny.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know what?
5
SPEAKER_00
So I was at I went to a zoo recently in Australia Shout out to the lone pine koala sanctuary
5
SPEAKER_00
I went there and it was the first time I d ever gone to a zoo where they have a place where it s like an open field sort of thing there s like a fence but you can actually go in there and touch and pet kangaroos and emus and all these like big fucked up animals and
5
SPEAKER_00
I was thinking about this, thousands of people, and they re very chill.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like little kids run up to them and rub all up on them and shit, and they don t care.
5
SPEAKER_00
They re very docile.
5
SPEAKER_00
They might be drugged.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I think about how much like, you know, thousands of people are going into the zoo every day and interacting with these animals and they re wild animals.
5
SPEAKER_00
There s no real control there.
5
SPEAKER_00
How much tomfuckery has to be going on?
5
SPEAKER_00
There has to have been at least one incident where a kangaroo kicked an old lady in the face.
5
SPEAKER_00
And the security guard s job is to secure these animals.
5
SPEAKER_00
So how are they?
5
SPEAKER_00
It just seems like an important job, the mall, the zoo security guard.
5
SPEAKER_02
Well, at mine, the security guards just patrol the zoo.
5
SPEAKER_02
They watch the people more than the animals.
5
SPEAKER_02
But someone actually fell into the cheetah exhibit two weeks ago.
5
SPEAKER_00
What was that like?
5
SPEAKER_00
Did they get... Did they get fucked up?
5
SPEAKER_02
I think the cheetah just kind of like sat there and like looked at him because she was like with her trainer or something.
5
SPEAKER_02
So it s fucking weird.
5
SPEAKER_02
They like locked down the whole zoo.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s crazy.
5
SPEAKER_00
Somebody fell into the cheetah.
5
SPEAKER_00
Dude, you re literally living in a little Disney movie.
5
SPEAKER_00
You re making pretzels at the zoo and then
6
SPEAKER_01
The guy comedically fell over into the cheetah exhibit.
6
SPEAKER_01
You re living in a cartoon.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it feels like it sometimes.
6
SPEAKER_01
I don t want to ask what do you work at.
6
SPEAKER_01
Okay, what else is bad with your life?
6
SPEAKER_01
These all sound like good, funny things.
6
SPEAKER_02
I don t know, just a lot of like, I don t know, family drama and stuff.
6
SPEAKER_02
That kind of thing.
6
SPEAKER_01
What, uh, uh, I mean, you don t have to get into that if you don t want to, but what do you, I, do you want to, um, no, maybe, maybe not right now, but we can talk about something else.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s cool.
6
SPEAKER_01
Honestly, I m glad I m, is it bad that I m glad that you said no, so that we can, uh, talk more about the zoo.
6
SPEAKER_02
I would love to.
6
SPEAKER_01
There s been a lot of conversations on this podcast about deep issues between family members and not a lot about guys falling into cheetah enclosures.
6
SPEAKER_01
So let s balance it out.
6
SPEAKER_01
What s your dream?
6
SPEAKER_02
Um, well, it was when I was little, it was like always to like be a zookeeper and stuff.
6
SPEAKER_02
So I guess it s still that.
6
SPEAKER_01
So I m just like, I don t know, kind of getting closer to that, but I love that idea though, that you re going to, you re going to rise the ranks.
6
SPEAKER_01
This is sick.
6
SPEAKER_01
This is sick.
6
SPEAKER_01
You re going to rise the ranks from doing the pretzels to be into owning the zoo.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it s honestly like it s happened before people go from like the food service to like being a whole zookeeper and stuff.
6
SPEAKER_02
So it s definitely possible.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s sweet.
6
SPEAKER_01
I like I like that idea.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m trying to think of what else I know about zoos.
6
SPEAKER_01
What s the coolest animal they got at this zoo?
6
SPEAKER_02
Um, God, I don t know.
6
SPEAKER_02
They have a lot of animals.
6
SPEAKER_02
For me.
6
SPEAKER_02
It s the red pandas.
6
SPEAKER_02
They re really, really cute.
6
SPEAKER_02
They re my favorite.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I like I like red pandas.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s like the that s the guy from Red right turning red yeah What kind of geckos are they day geckos?
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, there s actually one of those and they have like crested geckos and shit all the geckos man
6
SPEAKER_02
um that s awesome do they do they ever do they look like they have any thoughts maybe some we don t we don t know about we re never gonna find out but they look like they do do they look sad ever i think you know i think maybe they do just
6
SPEAKER_02
like sitting in that cage all day and just having kids just like smear their faces and lick the glass.
6
SPEAKER_02
It d make me sad to have to live in there.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
Um, well, maybe that, you know what?
6
SPEAKER_01
You know what?
6
SPEAKER_01
All right.
6
SPEAKER_01
I ll give you a blessing.
6
SPEAKER_01
that will cosmically, it won t ensure anything, but it ll cosmically point the universe, and I m gonna manifest it.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m gonna cosmically point the universe in the direction of you one day owning the zoo, working your way up from the pretzel making.
6
SPEAKER_01
But you gotta do me a favor before I do that.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
You gotta promise me that when you own the zoo,
6
SPEAKER_01
You will free the geckos.
6
SPEAKER_02
I promise, Lyle.
6
SPEAKER_02
When I m in the zoo, I will free the geckos.
6
SPEAKER_02
You have my word.
6
SPEAKER_01
Haley, is there anything else you want to... That s probably not your... Is that your name?
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
Haley, is there anything else you want to say to the people at the computer before we go?
6
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
6
SPEAKER_02
Free the geckos, man.
6
SPEAKER_01
Free the geckos.
6
SPEAKER_01
That s going on the t-shirt.
6
SPEAKER_01
See ya, Haley.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yay.
6
SPEAKER_02
Thank you.
6
SPEAKER_02
Bye.