0
SPEAKER_00
Hello?
0
SPEAKER_00
Is this a therapy gecko?
0
SPEAKER_00
Yes, is this, uh... Oh, you didn t even give me your name.
0
SPEAKER_00
What s your name?
0
SPEAKER_00
Or give me a fake name.
0
SPEAKER_00
You know what?
0
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna give you a fake name.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna call you John.
0
SPEAKER_00
So, John!
0
SPEAKER_00
Yes, gecko?
0
SPEAKER_00
What s up, man?
0
SPEAKER_00
What s up?
0
SPEAKER_00
Uh, you texted me and you said...
0
SPEAKER_00
I want to talk about how I went from being a Santa elf to being a clown influencer to being a school teacher.
0
SPEAKER_00
What is this?
0
SPEAKER_00
You seem like you ve had an interesting career trajectory.
0
SPEAKER_00
I d like to hear about it.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
The pipeline is definitely strange for sure.
0
SPEAKER_00
Let s start from the beginning.
0
SPEAKER_01
I started being a clown or not a clown.
0
SPEAKER_01
I started being a clown years ago.
0
SPEAKER_01
I started being a Santa elf.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, cause I was kicked out of my mom s house when I was like 17.
0
SPEAKER_01
And so I started being a clown, uh, not clown elf.
0
SPEAKER_01
And it was a really weird experience.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, the people there were always on drugs.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, and it, um, I don t know.
0
SPEAKER_01
It was just an experience for sure.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, I was an alcoholic at the time, so I d be like a drunk elf.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um,
0
SPEAKER_01
And I don t know, it was a weird experience.
0
SPEAKER_01
I lived in a weird house.
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t know where to go from there.
0
SPEAKER_00
You were like living that movie Bad Santa.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah, for sure.
0
SPEAKER_01
I was definitely in Bad Santa.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s funny.
0
SPEAKER_01
I almost went back this year as like a side hustle on top of being a teacher.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then I was like, I don t know if I can go back.
0
SPEAKER_01
with how much I ve changed since the last time I was Santa Elf, because I was definitely not the best Santa Elf.
0
SPEAKER_00
I have, I have questions.
0
SPEAKER_00
So, uh, all right.
0
SPEAKER_00
So you were kicked out at 17 and you dropped, you dropped out of high school around then?
0
SPEAKER_01
Uh, I dropped out of high school like six months before, cause I kind of could tell I was about to get kicked out.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, I m in college now, but I, yeah, I was kicked out and I didn t know what job to work and,
0
SPEAKER_01
I saw a posting for Santa and I applied as a joke.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then they called me back and they re like, how old are you?
0
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, 17.
0
SPEAKER_01
Can I still be Santa?
0
SPEAKER_01
And they gave me an interview for Santa, but they said it didn t work out.
0
SPEAKER_01
So they gave me Santa Elf.
0
SPEAKER_00
Are you skinny or fat?
0
SPEAKER_01
I m not.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m not skinny whatsoever, but I m definitely not old looking enough to be Santa.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I feel like a 17, first of all, a 17, first of all, people lining up to sit on a 17 year old s lap, a little weird.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s gotta be illegal.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s gotta be illegal.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, so I think, yeah, you re better suited to be, uh, uh, an elf, I would say.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, so interesting.
0
SPEAKER_00
So you just applied as a job.
0
SPEAKER_00
I mean, not as a job, as a joke.
0
SPEAKER_00
Uh, what, what was your experience at the time that, that made them call you back?
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, I don t know.
0
SPEAKER_01
I used to work a lot of event stuff.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s kind of what led me into clowning.
0
SPEAKER_01
I used to work at my city s art museum and like a bunch of stuff.
0
SPEAKER_01
So I think they were just like, yeah, he could probably Santa, uh, Santa or Santa elf.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um,
0
SPEAKER_01
And it was a weird experience because there was like, there was such intense drama with all of the Santas and all of the Elves.
0
SPEAKER_00
I would love to hear some stories of drama in the Elf Santa universe.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
I think my favorite Santa where there was drama.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, no, I have two favorite Santas where there s drama.
0
SPEAKER_01
One was so unbelievably narcissistic and abusive to his daughter that was a Santa Elf.
0
SPEAKER_01
And he was also really homophobic and really transphobic.
0
SPEAKER_01
And the manager was gay.
0
SPEAKER_01
And so my manager hated him.
0
SPEAKER_01
And he would get into such intense fights, like moments before we re opening the door for a bunch of children to come in, you could see them in the window, like screaming at each other.
0
SPEAKER_01
And he would like come the like, that Santa would come into work drunk almost every single day.
0
SPEAKER_01
And it was
0
SPEAKER_01
really, really goofy.
0
SPEAKER_00
And then I do feel like Santa, like being a mall Santa, it is kind of a great job for someone who is a narcissist, right?
0
SPEAKER_00
Like, oh, yeah, I, you know, yeah, no fucking Santa.
0
SPEAKER_01
The daughter was like, the whole reason he s Santa is because he s narcissistic.
0
SPEAKER_01
And he couldn t find a job where he could get more attention than being a Santa.
0
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I mean, look, if you re gonna look, if that s just part of who you are, right, is like you have this grand desire for attention.
0
SPEAKER_00
Being a mall Santa is not the worst outlet I ve ever heard of for that.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah, for sure.
0
SPEAKER_01
I feel like it s honestly probably the best outlet.
0
SPEAKER_01
If you re going to do anything, I feel like that s the least harmful.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then the other Santa that I really loved, um,
0
SPEAKER_01
Where s a lot of drama is just really funny.
0
SPEAKER_01
He definitely had dementia and didn t want to admit it.
0
SPEAKER_01
And he would just get confused all the time and be like, who s this?
0
SPEAKER_01
Where am I?
0
SPEAKER_01
He s like, look down at his Santa suit.
0
SPEAKER_01
And he s like, what s going on?
0
SPEAKER_01
All the time.
0
SPEAKER_00
See, a narcissist would make a good Santa, but someone with dementia, that d be kind of hard because Santa s known for being like, omnipotent.
0
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
0
SPEAKER_00
Like he s supposed to like, know, he s like God, he s like supposed to know everything.
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh, for sure.
0
SPEAKER_00
So what happened with the second Santa that you liked?
0
SPEAKER_00
Was there any drama, or you just liked him?
0
SPEAKER_00
He was a cool guy.
0
SPEAKER_01
I just liked him, but it was funny, because he just never knew where he was.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then there was also Mrs. Claw s drama, because she kept calling the 17-year-old elves whores.
0
SPEAKER_01
Really strange.
0
SPEAKER_00
Why was she calling the elves whores?
0
SPEAKER_01
The elves were all hooking up and like everyone knew it.
0
SPEAKER_01
I was not personally hooking up because I m in a long-term relationship, but every other elf was like hardcore hooking up with each other.
0
SPEAKER_01
So much drama at work and one time this girl was sitting like on the floor and Mrs. Claus comes up to her and goes, that s how hookers sit in the Netherlands.
0
SPEAKER_01
If you sit like that, you re going to get asked for sex.
0
SPEAKER_01
And we were like, Santa?
0
SPEAKER_00
Huh.
0
SPEAKER_00
How many, how many elves worked here?
0
SPEAKER_01
I think about 30 elves.
0
SPEAKER_01
Uh, yeah, I knew all the elves cause I d be there at different times of day.
0
SPEAKER_01
Um, so I had all of the drama of all of the elves and all of the Santas and I did not hold it very well because I was very drunk and high at work every day.
0
SPEAKER_00
Um, were all the other elves also very drunk and high at work every day?
0
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
People would take smoke breaks all the time.
0
SPEAKER_01
And we were like the most hated people in the store because we worked at a really fancy department store and like every other department in the store actively made fun of us and like would bet on who s gonna quit the soonest.
0
SPEAKER_00
Were all of the elves like high school kids?
0
SPEAKER_01
Not necessarily.
0
SPEAKER_01
A lot of them were just because it was like minimum wage but there was a few like middle-aged women who were just doing it as a side hustle.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then they would party with the children, which was funny.
0
SPEAKER_01
And there was also this one middle-aged lady that was an elf that would not leave people on the street alone, because it was her job to get people to come in.
0
SPEAKER_01
And one time she harassed this Jewish family, because they were like, I don t want to come in.
0
SPEAKER_01
And she was like, why?
0
SPEAKER_01
And they re like, I m Jewish.
0
SPEAKER_01
And she was like, so?
0
SPEAKER_00
Dude, Jewish people love Santa.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, dude one of the first things that my my dad did After I should probably shouldn t talk about this, but I m going to one of the first things my dad did after He and my mom split up was he bought a Christmas tree He always wanted to book and he was Jewish his whole his whole life and
0
SPEAKER_00
He was told, you know, as a Jew, he could not celebrate Christmas.
0
SPEAKER_00
And then finally, you know, a single man in his late forties, he s getting his ass a Christmas tree.
0
SPEAKER_00
He s reliving the, uh, you know, his, uh, his, his dreams is from a child from childhood.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
My ex, my ex girlfriend was Jewish and her, uh, the only reason they were Jewish is because of her grandma.
0
SPEAKER_01
And when her grandma died, she cheered cause she was like, I can finally eat bacon and celebrate Christmas.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, every every every Jewish every Jewish kid because when you re a child Like and you see everyone else like celebrating Christmas you feel a little bad that you can t do it And so when those shackles are released, it s it s you know, the Jews are overdosing on Christmas Yeah, I as a school teacher during the holiday season None of my kids are Jewish, but they were asking me like why doesn t Santa visit Jewish people and I said I don t know cuz I was like I don t I
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t want to dive in and tell them something stupid.
1
SPEAKER_00
little bit of a creep Hanukkah Harry yeah we don t talk about him but anyway um all right so you re working at the how long were you an elf for like three or four months I think all right and what made you quit I didn t quit I got it was like a seasonal thing cuz Santa only lasts for so long that makes sense then I worked at a coffee chain
1
SPEAKER_00
really evil one for a couple weeks and it s so horrible so I begged my old manager at Santa to get me a job at the department store and then I worked there for a while and I kind of had a breaking point of like if I work in retail any longer I think I ll fall apart so that s how I started looking into being a teacher.
1
SPEAKER_01
And so is that what you do now?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes I m an after-school teacher and it s
1
SPEAKER_00
pretty insane.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think it s actually funnier than being an elf.
1
SPEAKER_00
Because with an elf, all you see of the kids is them crying and screaming and waiting for Santa.
1
SPEAKER_00
And the things I see on the daily as an after-school teacher is just so much funnier.
1
SPEAKER_01
What s the funniest thing you ve seen as an after-school teacher?
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, there s so many.
1
SPEAKER_00
There s so many.
1
SPEAKER_00
I have like a quote page in my journal of funny shit they say.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think the funniest thing I ve ever, not witnessed, but heard a kid say was he was reading this Garfield comic and he was like, why would he eat, my coworker was like, why would he not eat lasagna on Mondays if he hates Mondays?
1
SPEAKER_00
And the kid goes, well, think about it.
1
SPEAKER_00
If your dad died, would you want to eat lasagna the next day?
1
SPEAKER_00
And then we were like, what?
1
SPEAKER_00
And he was like, diet tip, kill your dad.
1
SPEAKER_01
Wait, I don t get it.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t get it either.
1
SPEAKER_00
I had no idea what he was talking about.
1
SPEAKER_00
Actually, hold on.
1
SPEAKER_01
I do get it a little bit.
1
SPEAKER_01
It kind of makes sense, right?
1
SPEAKER_01
If you... If you kill your father... Like, because when people are more... No, no, no.
1
SPEAKER_01
Actually, I know exactly what this kid s saying.
1
SPEAKER_01
Because if you re in mourning, you will want to eat less.
1
SPEAKER_01
So you should kill your family so that you re too sad to eat.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s what he s saying.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
You should just kill your family.
1
SPEAKER_00
But don t.
1
SPEAKER_00
Don t.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m not condoning that, but kill your family.
1
SPEAKER_01
Wait, you don t condone killing your family?
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, in some circumstances.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think it s situational.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t think everyone should go around killing their family, but, like, I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t know your life.
1
SPEAKER_01
Hold on, what s a situation where you should kill your family?
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t want to sound insane.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, like, the Gypsy Rose shit or something.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s like, there s certain circumstances where if the only way out is murder, I guess, like, do what you want with your life.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m not, I don t have a moral.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I have morals, but I m not gonna put morals over people.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t know their life.
1
SPEAKER_01
I respect that.
1
SPEAKER_01
How old are you now?
1
SPEAKER_00
I m 18.
1
SPEAKER_00
I ve been working as a teacher since September.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think the funniest thing I ve ever witnessed
1
SPEAKER_00
Recently though was it was actually kind of horrific where these kids got in a fight and another kid tried to choke someone out with a jump rope Jesus fucking Christ, man So I m curious.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m curious.
1
SPEAKER_01
I have to ask so it s all this stuff is very recent and so I m I mean a few questions for you one is So you dropped out of high school.
1
SPEAKER_01
Did you get your GED?
1
SPEAKER_00
um kind of I m in this weird program where it s like I
1
SPEAKER_00
You take your GED test and you go to college, but instead at the end, they give you a diploma.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m not sure how it works or is legal.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m just, I m just in it.
1
SPEAKER_00
They re just giving me free college.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I was like, okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
Um, and, uh, what was I going to say?
1
SPEAKER_01
Are you, um, uh, how are, how were you able to get a teaching job without a college degree?
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, I m really good at talking my way into things.
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, but since it s after school, you re not required to.
1
SPEAKER_00
They just like strongly want it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, but I just kind of went on a tangent about how I was an elf and like I babysat or something like that.
1
SPEAKER_00
I definitely was not qualified enough for my job.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s definitely been interesting.
1
SPEAKER_00
I love my job, but it s definitely been interesting trying to navigate it because I m definitely not qualified.
1
SPEAKER_01
And, uh, how are you on the alcohol now?
1
SPEAKER_00
Sober, sort of.
1
SPEAKER_00
I stopped drinking for a long time, and then I was like, you know, I think I can drink, but I just can t drink every day.
1
SPEAKER_00
Because I didn t want to like, I don t know.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was just like, I don t want to never drink ever again.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t want to waste all my alcohol.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t want to waste all the alcohol on being like an edgy 16, 17 year old.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t drink very often.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s like very, very random at this point.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mostly drink because when I was a Santa elf, I had a really evil ex-roommate.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I tried to stop drinking, but they were like, you re not even an alcoholic.
1
SPEAKER_00
You don t drink as much as me or some shit like that.
1
SPEAKER_01
So, I mean, you re a young fucking guy, John.
1
SPEAKER_01
What are you going to, what s your plan?
1
SPEAKER_01
What are you going to do now?
1
SPEAKER_01
You know, I... What do you desire for life?
1
SPEAKER_00
I ve just been focusing on doing the most shit possible.
1
SPEAKER_00
I just wanna experience stuff.
1
SPEAKER_00
I just want things to be funny and goofy.
1
SPEAKER_00
I try to put myself in social situations where I have to talk to strangers.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I host clown events.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s the clown part.
1
SPEAKER_00
I host local clown events at a really big, technically illegal,
1
SPEAKER_00
clown punk show slash pageant in the park a few months ago.
1
SPEAKER_01
That sounds fucking awesome.
1
SPEAKER_01
What?
1
SPEAKER_00
It was so awesome.
1
SPEAKER_01
Dude, can I ask you what state you live in, or is that too much information?
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I don t care.
1
SPEAKER_00
I live in Washington.
1
SPEAKER_01
You live in Portland, right?
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wait, no.
1
SPEAKER_00
Portland s not Washington.
1
SPEAKER_00
I do not live in Portland.
1
SPEAKER_01
I live in Seattle.
1
SPEAKER_01
Wait, you host... Hold on.
1
SPEAKER_01
You hosted an illegal clown... You hosted an illegal punk clown pageants?
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, yes, it was actually really awesome.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was, like, looked into getting the permitting to, like, do stuff at the park, and then I realized it was, like, $200.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, there s no way I m paying the city $200 to do this.
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, and thankfully no one called the cops, which I was really surprised, because that area is very cop-call-y.
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, but there was a lot of, because it was a public park, there s a lot of people that weren t involved that looked very horrified.
1
SPEAKER_00
Because it was, like, a bunch of clowns moshing to this local band.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then the pageant part was like, I was hosting this like fight to the death.
1
SPEAKER_00
I posted it and I was like, fight to the death for your honor and $50.
1
SPEAKER_00
So there was a clown.
1
SPEAKER_00
They had a talent thing.
1
SPEAKER_00
My favorite round is when they all threw pie at me all at once.
1
SPEAKER_00
And it wasn t like a cream pie, like a normal clown throw because we couldn t find any.
1
SPEAKER_00
So they were just throwing like cherry or apple pie at me or something and they just got big handfuls because we didn t have enough pie for everyone.
1
SPEAKER_01
Now real quick, real quick John.
1
SPEAKER_01
I really want to hammer in on this because what you re talking about, first of all I find it fascinating.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m very impressed that you re so fucking young and you re
1
SPEAKER_01
You know showing the initiative to like do all this stuff because I want to press on this for like logistical reasons because one of the big things that people talk about on this show that is also honestly a big thing in like my own personal life is like how do you form Community right like how do you how do you make friends as an adult?
1
SPEAKER_01
How do you form community?
1
SPEAKER_01
How do you kind of make your own thing and?
1
SPEAKER_01
and
1
SPEAKER_01
to go out and make a, what you re doing, I love it so much because you re going like, okay, who am I and what s important to me and how can I put it out in the universe in this way that builds community?
1
SPEAKER_01
And you re like, I m gonna do an illegal punk clown pageant that fucking rocks.
1
SPEAKER_01
So if you could just tell us real quick, what were the logistics of it?
1
SPEAKER_01
How did you get people to show up?
1
SPEAKER_01
How did you spread the word?
1
SPEAKER_01
Give me some logistics.
1
SPEAKER_00
You re actually where my, not my whole inspiration, but like a bit like, I m going to do this.
1
SPEAKER_00
You talk a lot about making your own thing if it s not a thing.
1
SPEAKER_00
And when I worked at the department store and I dropped out of high school and I had like no social interaction, I was like, I have to force myself to make my own.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then I was trying to think of what I could do.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then I had the first one that was also illegal, but it was like less illegal because there wasn t like money being exchanged.
1
SPEAKER_00
But for that one, it was a lot of reaching out to random people I know and seeing who they know and kind of just being like, are you a clown?
1
SPEAKER_00
What do you want to do?
1
SPEAKER_00
What do you want to do with the thing?
1
SPEAKER_00
So I reached out to a band I know.
1
SPEAKER_00
I reached out to my friend that is a line cook, and he set up a probably not food handler
2
SPEAKER_00
safe free barbecue where I bought all the groceries.
2
SPEAKER_00
I would hand some shish kebabs or some shit out to clowns.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I had a lot of local artists that I was friends with from working at the art museum and working all over the place.
2
SPEAKER_00
And they vended.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I needed a lot more help than I anticipated.
2
SPEAKER_00
But most of the frustrating part was just figuring out where to get a generator because I didn t realize how hard it is to find one, how expensive it is.
2
SPEAKER_00
Um, and I had to get a lot, I had to have like five clowns lifted up for me.
2
SPEAKER_00
Um, but I basically just picked a random park and went from there.
2
SPEAKER_00
Kind of go into event planning in a shitty way where I don t really like plan it out super well I just kind of know I m gonna tell you I m gonna tell you so I m gonna tell you something you go into an event planning in the best way Which is that you?
2
SPEAKER_03
Fucking do it.
2
SPEAKER_03
You know what I mean like a lot of people They re like oh, I think that would be cool, and then they never do it That s the worst way to do event planning you do it.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh, I love don t try to get it um
2
SPEAKER_03
Don t try to get it twisted, but but anyway, so so John before we go I Want to kind of wrap this first of all I want to tell you I m very impressed with you dude.
2
SPEAKER_03
I mean to go from Like getting kicked out of your house at 17 By your mom are you and your mom still cool?
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah, we re really cool.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was entirely because of her boyfriend.
2
SPEAKER_00
So we re cool, we hang out all the time.
2
SPEAKER_03
Cool.
2
SPEAKER_03
So I m very impressed with you that at such a fucking young age you re taking control of your own life, not succumbing to your addictions like Mazel Tov to you.
2
SPEAKER_03
My dude, like that s all really cool.
2
SPEAKER_03
I m inspired by you, genuinely.
2
SPEAKER_03
You just did this random clown pageant thing.
2
SPEAKER_03
I want to do more shit.
2
SPEAKER_03
I want to do more shit like that.
2
SPEAKER_03
See, I m a bad event promoter because I m in my head about like all these things that I think would be cool to do and I just don t do them.
2
SPEAKER_03
And you re just like, yeah, let me do a fucking clown pageant.
2
SPEAKER_03
So I m inspired by you, my friend.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was actually really bummed because I saw that you had your gecko rave here, but since I m not 21, I couldn t go.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I go to a lot of the local raves here and I was like,
2
SPEAKER_00
They re kind of horrible.
2
SPEAKER_00
They re not very good.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I was like, man, but I encourage if you have an idea, just just start posting it online and then you have to do it because you already promised people that you were doing it.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, man, let me know if you want to come.
2
SPEAKER_03
I m doing a show.
2
SPEAKER_03
I don t know if you re in Seattle, but I m doing a show in Seattle.
2
SPEAKER_03
Let me know.
2
SPEAKER_03
I don t know if it s 21+.
2
SPEAKER_03
I don t know if it s 21 plus or not.
2
SPEAKER_03
Is it 21 plus?
2
SPEAKER_00
Every show you do is 21 plus in Seattle.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, damn.
2
SPEAKER_03
I was gonna invite you to come, but yeah, you gotta wait a couple years.
2
SPEAKER_00
I would get a fake ID for it and then he tried to hook me up with somebody to get me a fake ID and I was like, no, I m not getting a fake ID for that.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m not spending hundreds of dollars to get a fake ID to go to a gecko show.
2
SPEAKER_03
Fair enough.
2
SPEAKER_03
Well, I mean, here s the thing, man.
2
SPEAKER_03
Go into the park and make your own illegal gecko show.
2
SPEAKER_03
You can get a bunch of people to dress up as me and just do your own thing.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I m going to impersonate you.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m going to get my own gecko costume and I ll stand outside the venue for anyone that can t go in.
2
SPEAKER_03
Is there anything else that you want to say to the people of the computer before we go, John?
2
SPEAKER_00
If you have an idea, do it, even if it s stupid.
2
SPEAKER_00
Kiss bugs, hand out stickers, smoke weed if you d like to do that, and stop taking yourself so seriously.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s probably the best part, the best thing that helped me.
2
SPEAKER_00
getting sober and in general, just stop taking yourself so seriously.
2
SPEAKER_03
Let me ask you one final thing before we go, and if you don t want to dox yourself, or if there s no real way to do this, then that s okay, but there are people in the chat, myself included, who are curious.
2
SPEAKER_03
Let s say somebody is in the Seattle area and would like to attend your next clown show.
2
SPEAKER_03
How might one do that, if that s possible?
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yes.
2
SPEAKER_00
I had an Instagram for it, and then I don t anymore, but I ll plug my personal, I don t care.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s Gargoyle Knees, and I regularly, randomly post
2
SPEAKER_00
different clown stuff, and just different shit in general.
2
SPEAKER_00
I tried to host a Buzz meetup for people that like Buzz, but it fell through.
2
SPEAKER_03
Gargoyle, just gargoyle knees, all one word?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yes, all one word, gargoyle knees.
2
SPEAKER_00
I also, if you re in the Seattle area, I m friends with a lot of event people.
2
SPEAKER_00
So if you re looking for stuff, I m usually posting it.
2
SPEAKER_03
Cool, well everyone hit up Gargoyle Knees on Instagram if you wanna go to the next clown thing.
2
SPEAKER_03
If you have one while I m in town, I m fuckin  there, bro.
2
SPEAKER_00
I will plug one soon.
2
SPEAKER_00
April 6th, I m having a backyard circus s mores clown party.
2
SPEAKER_00
So sick.
2
SPEAKER_00
But yes, thank you, Gecko.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was an honor.
2
SPEAKER_00
I ve been listening to you for like two years.
2
SPEAKER_00
Every time I feel miserable, I just turn on the gig.
2
SPEAKER_03
Thank you, John.
2
SPEAKER_03
You have a good rest of the night.
2
SPEAKER_03
I appreciate you sharing.
2
SPEAKER_00
You have a good rest of your day.
2
SPEAKER_00
Bye.
2
SPEAKER_03
Bye, John.
2
SPEAKER_03
Dude, I really, really, really like that caller.
2
SPEAKER_03
I mean, I m not bullshitting and like just blowing smoke up his ass when I say I m inspired by that because like, and he s so fucking young.
2
SPEAKER_03
He s 18 and he s like forming this path for himself and creating community with such initiative.
2
SPEAKER_03
to be doing these pageants and putting on all this stuff and like not letting just not like shit stop him you know like uh you know he overcame fucking the whatever was going on in his home life he overcame having to drop out of high school he overcame like uh uh you know fucking any kind of social anxiety that that that you know is needed to do all this stuff and he s just fucking 18 and he s like i don t care about the city laws i m putting on my goddamn clown pageant
2
SPEAKER_03
I love it, I m inspired by it, and I hope that anyone listening to this goes check out Gargoyle Knees.
2
SPEAKER_03
I would love it if next time he does this clown shit, a whole bunch of people from the podcast show up.
2
SPEAKER_03
So, rock and roll, shout out to John, and fucking nice, man.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I have all these ideas for things that I want to do, like little events and stuff, but I just keep putting them off.
2
SPEAKER_03
That s why I said I was inspired by him because I just keep putting all this shit.
2
SPEAKER_03
I mean, I know I m doing a whole tour of live events and stuff.
2
SPEAKER_03
But I have, you know, I have all I have other ideas, too.
2
SPEAKER_03
So, hey, follow me on Instagram, too, man.
2
SPEAKER_03
I m going to I m going to start hosting weird clown shit.
2
SPEAKER_03
Maybe not clowns, maybe maybe clowns.
2
SPEAKER_03
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_03
But yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
Thanks, John.
2
SPEAKER_03
Also, I just another note to John.
2
SPEAKER_03
I forgot to mention this but uh Whatever.
2
SPEAKER_03
I ll jinx myself.
2
SPEAKER_03
I don t give a fuck.
2
SPEAKER_03
I do my gecko on the street Thing where I like set up in a park and interview people and stuff you think Buddy, you think I m paying for a permit to do that shit?
2
SPEAKER_03
You think you think I m getting permits from the city to do my gecko shit.
2
SPEAKER_03
You re out of your mind
2
SPEAKER_03
Hey folks, this is Lyle.
2
SPEAKER_03
I am very excited to announce that I am going back on tour in 2024 to do Therapy Gecko Live all across the country.
2
SPEAKER_03
If you ve never been to one of my live shows before, they are extremely fun, unpredictable, wild evenings that involve a mix of group gecko therapy sessions as well as some material and presentations from myself.
2
SPEAKER_03
And if you ve been to the show before, I have new presentations and will of course be interviewing new people.
2
SPEAKER_03
If you re a fan of the podcast, you re gonna have a great time at the live show, so I hope to see you guys there.
2
SPEAKER_03
Go to therapygeckotour.com or check the link in the episode description for a full list of cities where tickets are available.
2
SPEAKER_03
Also, if you don t see your city on the list of cities, please still click the link and RSVP with your phone number so I can contact you when tickets go on sale for your city, because I m going to announce a bunch more dates very soon.
2
SPEAKER_03
Geck bless.
2
SPEAKER_03
Hi, who is this?
2
SPEAKER_03
Gabe my man, what s going on?
2
SPEAKER_03
How s it going?
2
SPEAKER_02
My wife wants to say hi.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh sure.
2
SPEAKER_03
Well, I m obsessed with your husband.
2
SPEAKER_03
That s why I called him.
2
SPEAKER_03
I wanted to get my moment with him.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I ve been going to actual therapy and I told my therapist about you and I invited him to come see you on
2
SPEAKER_01
when you come to Miami and he said yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
You and your therapist are coming to one of my live shows together?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, is that crazy or what?
2
SPEAKER_03
Is that weird to hang out with your therapist socially?
2
SPEAKER_03
I started crying when he said yes, I felt so weird.
2
SPEAKER_03
You started crying?
2
SPEAKER_03
Why did you start crying when he said yes?
2
SPEAKER_01
I got a little emotional, you know, because I don t have
3
SPEAKER_00
You don t have any for well, okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, you have one friend your wife seems like Your what your wife seems like she likes you I don t think she would live in a house with you and get married to you if she didn t want to be your friend Well, the problem is that I would go with her but she s about to have a baby like next month So she wouldn t really be able to come with me when you come to Miami.
3
SPEAKER_00
So Why cuz she s too pregnant to come Yeah, not too pregnant.
3
SPEAKER_01
She just had the baby and
3
SPEAKER_01
We don t really have anybody to watch her.
3
SPEAKER_01
Watch the kid, you know?
3
SPEAKER_01
I have like two other kids in the house right now, too.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s nice of her to watch the kid while you go to see my show with your therapist.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m gonna reconfirm with him.
3
SPEAKER_01
Hopefully he says yes again.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t even know if I should reconfirm with him or not.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I just want to make sure it doesn t seem too weird.
3
SPEAKER_00
Is it okay?
3
SPEAKER_00
So I mean, this is an interesting thing.
3
SPEAKER_00
Do you think like hanging out with your therapist?
3
SPEAKER_00
So now it would be weird.
3
SPEAKER_01
Nah, nah, we re cool as fuck.
3
SPEAKER_01
The thing is, like, I don t know if it s cool with him.
3
SPEAKER_01
I feel like it s fine, you know, but I don t know if that s like HIPAA protocol.
3
SPEAKER_01
You feel me?
3
SPEAKER_01
But it s not like I m going to snitch on him or nothing.
3
SPEAKER_00
Now do you have are you afraid that like, you know, maybe like you and your therapist you go to the show Maybe you get some drinks afterwards Maybe you get some drinks during and maybe you guys are at the bar and and you just you start going in on him, right?
3
SPEAKER_00
Not not go not like going in on him, but like No, not hitting on him not hitting I didn t say no like you just start telling him you just start like, you know Laying out your your normal therapy stuff and he s looking at you like dude, you know More my my
3
SPEAKER_01
My real shit, because I don t want him to jot down my crazy shit, you know?
3
SPEAKER_01
How I have, like, an addiction and shit, you know?
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t want him writing that down, so maybe he could help me out in real life, you know?
3
SPEAKER_00
So the idea would be that you go out with him socially, and are you trying to get some free therapy out of this, or are you going to keep it light the whole time?
3
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no, not at all, not at all.
3
SPEAKER_01
Just talk to him and see what he thinks.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know?
3
SPEAKER_01
Maybe you can help me with that.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m not trying to get him to therapy.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m trying to hang out and see the gecko, dawg.
3
SPEAKER_00
What if you guys become really good friends?
3
SPEAKER_00
What if you become such good friends that he can t be your therapist anymore?
3
SPEAKER_00
Because it s... I mean, friends talk to each other, you know?
3
SPEAKER_01
It s therapy itself, you know?
3
SPEAKER_00
What did he say when you told him... Okay, so you said, hey... And then I started crying.
3
SPEAKER_00
So you said, hey, there s this fake gecko therapist guy.
3
SPEAKER_00
He s doing a show in Miami.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, no, I told him a couple weeks ago.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m like, yo, you should really listen to this guy.
3
SPEAKER_01
He s a gecko.
3
SPEAKER_01
And he s like a therapist.
3
SPEAKER_01
And he s like, oh yeah, I m going to check him out.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then a couple weeks later, I m like, yo, you know, he s coming to Miami.
3
SPEAKER_01
You down to go see him?
3
SPEAKER_01
And then he s like, hell yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, don t worry, I m going to pay for everything.
3
SPEAKER_01
I got you.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I got a little teary eyed.
3
SPEAKER_01
I get emotional for everything.
3
SPEAKER_00
Why do you feel like you get emotional for... Why do you feel like this made you so emotional?
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
I ve been through a lot, you know?
3
SPEAKER_01
And I m a scary motherfucker, you know?
3
SPEAKER_01
I still cry.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re a scary motherfucker?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Or at least people think I m scary.
3
SPEAKER_01
People think I m aggressive.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t think I m that aggressive.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m just... I m Cuban.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m loud.
3
SPEAKER_01
You feel me?
3
SPEAKER_01
Like... I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
The way I talk, I guess, is like a little too intimidating or...
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
People think I m... People think I talk Mexican.
3
SPEAKER_01
I ain t no Mexican.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m in Miami.
3
SPEAKER_01
This is how people in Miami talk.
3
SPEAKER_01
You feel me?
3
SPEAKER_01
Are you Cuban?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I m Cuban.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
There s a large Cuban population down there, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
This is a Cuban city over here.
3
SPEAKER_00
Uh, okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
So, wait.
3
SPEAKER_00
So, like, people think... So, people think that you re, like, a tough guy, but you re really a big softie.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, because I have a beard, and, you know, I m, like,
3
SPEAKER_01
300 pounds, like, I don t look 300 pounds, but I m like big, you feel me?
3
SPEAKER_01
I m like big-boned.
3
SPEAKER_01
But, I m like, I m cool, man.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know why people fucking get so scared of me.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, my wife s family hates me.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, shit s wild over here.
3
SPEAKER_00
Why does your wife, why do you think your wife s family hates you?
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know, they re fucking wack as fuck.
3
SPEAKER_01
I try to, like, be nice to their family and shit, but, like, I started noticing them.
3
SPEAKER_01
lying to me in my face and I found out what the lies were.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I know they lied to me.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m like, damn, y all can just talk to me normal.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, y all treat me like some little kid.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, why y all lying to me?
3
SPEAKER_01
You feel me?
3
SPEAKER_01
But it s all good.
3
SPEAKER_01
They re fake ass motherfuckers and let me not get involved with those type of people.
3
SPEAKER_01
There s no point.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, my wife had warned me, but I was just trying to like rekindle her family.
3
SPEAKER_00
So give me, so, so give me a second here, Gabe, because there s, I, I, I have like seven, you, there s like six different things.
3
SPEAKER_01
I want to, well, there s one main thing I want to talk to you about.
3
SPEAKER_01
Cause I went crazy today.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, alright, alright, so, I mean, there s a thousand, I wanna know about, I mean, obviously I only wanna know about what you wanna tell, talk about on this podcast, but like, you ve brought up many different, you ve brought up many different things that we could delve into, but if you have one in specific... Yeah, I mean, you can tell me where you want me to go from here.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, so, so, hold on, so, so if you have several different things that you want to... Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
If you have a, let s start with the thing you wanted to talk about, and then we can get into the other stuff.
3
SPEAKER_01
What was the thing that you wanted to talk about?
3
SPEAKER_01
Alright, right now, right now I just got off of a...
3
SPEAKER_01
a little bench.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s not a bench, I just started doing shit last night.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I went nuts because I m hearing shit, you feel me?
3
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, and I m doing the whole little looking out the window and hearing shit in the bathroom.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I fucking ripped off the top of the bathroom and I started, like, putting the light and the shadows, like, I m like, yo, I m not going crazy.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, the shadows is black.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m pointing the light.
3
SPEAKER_01
Why the fuck is the light not going through the light?
3
SPEAKER_01
Something s blocking it.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then I put the light back on it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I can see through it.
3
SPEAKER_01
How the fuck is that even possible?
3
SPEAKER_01
Explain that to me.
3
SPEAKER_01
What?
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
All right.
3
SPEAKER_00
Wait.
3
SPEAKER_00
So, so you re, you re ripping the tile off the bathroom?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
We re like, it s Spanish.
3
SPEAKER_01
And like, I m looking through the people to see if somebody is trying to look at me.
3
SPEAKER_01
You feel me?
3
SPEAKER_01
And I turn on the light.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I can t see nothing.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s just dark.
3
SPEAKER_00
So you re, you re, you re, you re paranoid that somebody might be, might be watching you.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, that s what you, that s what you texted me.
3
SPEAKER_00
You texted me saying, I have somebody sleeping and spying on me through the bathroom vent.
3
SPEAKER_01
So this, this happens every time, you know, I m like, how the fuck?
3
SPEAKER_01
And like some random ass calls got me, called me today.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I feel like he tapped into my phone somehow.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t even know.
3
SPEAKER_01
Cause he knows I called him this time.
3
SPEAKER_01
You film it and I have it on camera.
3
SPEAKER_01
I have it on camera this time.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, I don t need, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
I got it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Slow, slow, slow, slow down for me for a second, Gabe.
3
SPEAKER_00
Um, why do you think that somebody is spying on you?
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
Cause I d be paranoid.
3
SPEAKER_01
People are trying to fuck with my life and destroy my life and shit.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I d be doing things I m not supposed to be doing, you know?
3
SPEAKER_01
So I get paranoid.
3
SPEAKER_00
Alright, let me ask you this.
3
SPEAKER_00
This guy that you re going to my show with, this therapist, have you talked to him?
3
SPEAKER_00
He does not know nothing about this.
3
SPEAKER_00
Wait, hold on.
3
SPEAKER_00
You haven t told him about this?
3
SPEAKER_00
This sounds like something you should talk to your therapist about.
3
SPEAKER_00
Hell no.
3
SPEAKER_00
Wait, why?
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, slow down for me again.
3
SPEAKER_00
Slow down for me again.
3
SPEAKER_00
Why do you not want to talk to your therapist?
3
SPEAKER_00
Hold on, why do you not want to talk to your therapist about this?
3
SPEAKER_01
This sounds... My children are gone.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t think he ll do it, but...
3
SPEAKER_01
It probably helped me try to, like, you know, give me good advice, but still, I m too scared.
3
SPEAKER_01
I can t run the risk.
3
SPEAKER_01
Why would he call CPS on you?
3
SPEAKER_01
Are you allowed to do drugs around your kids?
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t think so.
3
SPEAKER_00
Hold on.
3
SPEAKER_00
Is this a drug thing or are you just paranoid?
3
SPEAKER_00
No, when I m on drugs, I hear things.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
Are you, are you, by the way, you, just so you know, the only, if you don t want to- I just popped two Xans right now, so I m chilling.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
All right.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was just going to say, you don t have to tell me anything you don t want to tell me, but like, if you want to talk about this, we can.
3
SPEAKER_00
Are you, um, all right.
3
SPEAKER_00
What drug are you taking that makes you think that you re like seeing shit?
3
SPEAKER_00
All right.
3
SPEAKER_01
All right.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t really want to talk about what drugs I m taking.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s a little embarrassing.
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
But they re real hard.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, I m going through a lot right now.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m going through a court process right now.
3
SPEAKER_01
I have a stepson that I ve had since one years old.
3
SPEAKER_01
He s six right now.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, where I m taking him to school.
3
SPEAKER_01
He s got A s and B s.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like I take him to school every single day.
3
SPEAKER_01
Like I m, I m a functional addict.
3
SPEAKER_01
You feel me?
3
SPEAKER_01
I do it on the weekends.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t do it every day.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know what I m saying?
3
SPEAKER_01
I m Gucci.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m good.
3
SPEAKER_01
But, um, people take it the wrong way.
3
SPEAKER_01
You feel me?
3
SPEAKER_01
Like,
3
SPEAKER_01
Like, I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
I just live my life, bro.
3
SPEAKER_01
So, um... I m happy.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m happy.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know?
3
SPEAKER_01
And that s all that matters.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
Alright.
4
SPEAKER_02
I don t do it every weekend, I don t do it every weekend either.
4
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, you know what I mean.
4
SPEAKER_02
I don t do it every weekend, I don t do it every weekend either.
4
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, you know what I mean.
4
SPEAKER_03
I don t do it every weekend, I don t do it every weekend either.
4
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, you know what I mean.
4
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, you know what I mean.
4
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, you know what I mean.
4
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, you know what I mean.
4
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, you know what I mean.
4
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, you know what I mean.
4
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, you know what I mean.
4
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, you know what I mean.
4
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, you know what I mean.
4
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, you know what I mean.
4
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, you know what I mean.
4
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, you know what I mean.
4
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, you know what I mean.
4
SPEAKER_03
But yeah, you know what I mean.
4
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, you know what I mean.
4
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, you know what I mean.
4
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, you know what I mean.
4
SPEAKER_03
Okay, cuz I was gonna ask Wait Gabe Gabe Gabe, let me let me let me finish my questions for a second.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
Um, does it make your life worse or better?
4
SPEAKER_02
Um, it makes it worse like when I m well, it makes it worse when I m coming off of it But it s only for a little bit.
4
SPEAKER_02
I already learned how to get through it People like go crazy because they want to keep doing I want to keep doing I want to keep doing but I m gonna go nuts like that you feel me and I know that I m not dumb so I m just you know stop and
4
SPEAKER_02
get the little craziness out of me for a little bit.
4
SPEAKER_02
You know, it s a little routine, you know?
4
SPEAKER_02
You gotta know how to fuck with it.
4
SPEAKER_03
Do you have any desire within you to quit?
4
SPEAKER_02
Yes, I do.
4
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_02
Especially, I m about to have another baby.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I really, like, every time I come off of it, my son wakes up with a, hi!
4
SPEAKER_02
And I m like, you know, it s the sweetest thing ever.
4
SPEAKER_02
And I can t look at him in the morning
4
SPEAKER_02
when I m coming off of it and I feel a little embarrassed, you know, I m like, damn dog, like it s a little hurtful, but you know, I really don t want to do that no more.
4
SPEAKER_03
Can I, can I, can I offer an opinion to you?
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, what s up, of course.
4
SPEAKER_02
Why do you think I m talking to you?
4
SPEAKER_03
Okay, because I was- here s what I want to say to you, and I hope it resonates, is that... Okay, I understand that you are- you re afraid that if you go to, like, seek help for this stuff, that, like, you re gonna get punished for it, and, like, they re gonna, like, take away your kids and shit.
4
SPEAKER_02
Nah, nah, I ve already been to rehab, and, um, uh, it s an everyday battle, and the only person that s gonna help- the only person that s gonna help me is myself, man.
4
SPEAKER_03
Sure, but I guess what I m stuck on is like you have a you have this therapist But yet you you don t want to talk to them about this issue And this sounds like something that if you re gonna be seeing a therapist that you might want to talk to them about and I guess I m talking about it.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, totally I m stuck on I m stuck on why you re why you don t want to because I don t I mean I don t fucking know I don t think that they re gonna like
4
SPEAKER_03
I don t think they would take away your- I mean, I fucking don t- I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_03
I m a fucking dude in a lizard costume.
4
SPEAKER_02
I don t know shit about this.
4
SPEAKER_03
It s a real sensitive topic, bro.
4
SPEAKER_03
But I- I- I think... Okay, here s what I was gonna say.
4
SPEAKER_03
Here s what I was gonna tell you.
4
SPEAKER_03
Is that... If your desire is to be the best dad that you can be for your kid, you gotta- I m a great dad.
4
SPEAKER_03
I m not putting that into trial.
4
SPEAKER_03
I m not questioning whether or not you re a great dad.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m getting VIP tickets just to see you, bro.
4
SPEAKER_03
I m gonna show you my pictures.
4
SPEAKER_03
But Gabe, I m just saying, I don t think you should be afraid of trying to get help for this stuff.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah, that s true.
4
SPEAKER_03
You seem like a very sweet, nice guy who cares about his kids.
4
SPEAKER_03
and his wife.
4
SPEAKER_02
Can I talk to your wife?
4
SPEAKER_02
Babe, he wants to talk to you.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
Wait, does she know about all this?
4
SPEAKER_03
I don t want to put you on the spot because I was going to talk about it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I didn t know about all this.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so it seemed like a lot more hardcore than what he actually does.
4
SPEAKER_00
He doesn t do it around the kids.
4
SPEAKER_00
Ever.
4
SPEAKER_00
He s not on it when he s like,
4
SPEAKER_00
doing anything with the kids.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like this is like something that he does once every maybe two months or something.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then like it s the kids are in bed.
4
SPEAKER_00
OK, hold on, hold on, Mr. Gecko.
4
SPEAKER_02
Wait, can I talk back to your wife?
4
SPEAKER_02
What s your name by the way?
4
SPEAKER_02
You can give me a fake name.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m gonna call you Veronica.
4
SPEAKER_03
Veronica, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
Veronica.
4
SPEAKER_03
Well, Veronica, I guess, I mean, what do you think about all this?
4
SPEAKER_03
You seem like, um, uh, like, cause I don t know, man, Gabe s heart seems to be in, in the right place.
4
SPEAKER_03
And, you know, you, you seem, you re, you re, you re his, uh, you re his greatest ally in his life.
4
SPEAKER_03
So I m curious what you think about all this.
4
SPEAKER_00
Absolutely.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, do I want him to stop doing, you know, the things that he does?
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_00
obviously.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, maybe not obviously, because I could be, you know, a person that instigates him, but I m definitely not a person that instigates him.
4
SPEAKER_00
But the fact that he doesn t do it as often as he made it seem like he does it, is what like kind of gets me because he just he made himself sound so bad.
4
SPEAKER_00
He is not that bad.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like I said, he doesn t maybe once, you know, like,
4
SPEAKER_00
in a blue moon type of thing.
4
SPEAKER_00
And, and, and again, the kids are never around these situations.
4
SPEAKER_00
They re like, asleep in bed away from hold on.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m sorry.
4
SPEAKER_00
He has epilepsy and he forgets a lot of things.
4
SPEAKER_00
So he wants to say one more thing to you.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
Can you give me one second?
4
SPEAKER_02
Sure.
4
SPEAKER_02
Another reason why like, I want to quit too is like,
4
SPEAKER_02
She says I wait like a month or two, like, no, it s like a month at most.
4
SPEAKER_02
Because if not, I ll go crazy.
4
SPEAKER_02
And while I m waiting for that month, I m like constantly thinking about it.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like, I have dreams about it.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like, it s crazy.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s in my dreams.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like, it s terrible.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like, I really want to stop.
4
SPEAKER_02
Like, it s got me fucked up in my dreams and everything.
4
SPEAKER_02
But yeah, I ll put it back.
4
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, hey, what s up?
4
SPEAKER_03
I mean, um, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
4
SPEAKER_03
Well, I mean, just from talking to Gabe, like, uh, again, seems like a good hearted man, but he s all over.
4
SPEAKER_03
He s all over the place, man.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, he definitely is, which is like one of the reasons why he s, you know, he s in therapy and things and, and I definitely pushed him towards going to therapy so he can get help.
4
SPEAKER_00
he s had a lot of uh trauma in his life and that you know I won t share because it s not my story to tell but I know that it affects him and it and it you know uh makes him make the decisions that he makes and one of the main reasons because he says like I like he doesn t want CBS calls and all these things
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh my, do you want me to finish?
4
SPEAKER_03
Wait, wait, she s not giving me the right information.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s not trauma.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m, I m, I m a fucking pervert and I m addicted to fucking like feeling like, you know, okay.
4
SPEAKER_02
It s not no trauma.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s not my story.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s not.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think that s why I say it s not my story to tell, because I m not in his brain, I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_00
You know?
4
SPEAKER_00
Like... Okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s why I call it drama, because I don t know, like, why he... You know, these are the decisions that he makes, you know?
4
SPEAKER_03
Well, okay, well... Let s talk about this.
4
SPEAKER_03
How long have you guys been together for?
4
SPEAKER_00
We ve been together, it ll be five years this year.
4
SPEAKER_03
Okay, great.
4
SPEAKER_03
And, um...
4
SPEAKER_03
Hold on.
4
SPEAKER_03
And when did you have, you said you had your, when did you have your first kid?
4
SPEAKER_00
I had my first kid, uh, a year before meeting him.
4
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_00
With someone else.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
With someone else, with another person.
4
SPEAKER_00
Um, I left him and I got kicked out of like my living situation.
4
SPEAKER_00
and ended up with my husband.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like I said, I was going to spend the weekend at his house and I just never left.
4
SPEAKER_00
And we got married and you know, we had our first child together.
4
SPEAKER_00
He s little.
4
SPEAKER_00
What do you mean where we met?
4
SPEAKER_00
We met on Facebook.
4
SPEAKER_00
You guys met on Facebook?
4
SPEAKER_00
We met on Facebook, but
4
SPEAKER_00
like it was through like a literal one one mutual friend that we had and like not not a friend that either of us talked to it was just like a mutual you know facebook friend and that s how our facebook ended up i guess you know being being connected
5
SPEAKER_01
But that s how we met.
5
SPEAKER_01
I spilled all my beans to him, all my crap and my own trauma.
5
SPEAKER_01
And he was like, come, I ll save you.
5
SPEAKER_01
I ll be what you need me to be.
5
SPEAKER_01
And he has been, absolutely.
5
SPEAKER_01
He s been a super huge support system in my life.
5
SPEAKER_01
pushed me to be a better person.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I came from being like this very heavy alcoholic to like, I don t, I mean, obviously right now I don t drink, I m pregnant, but you know, I, I can handle my one glass of wine and I can put it, you know, put the bottle away and things like that, you know?
5
SPEAKER_01
Um, and, and he s helped me, you know, raise my, my oldest and, and, and to be honest, he s,
5
SPEAKER_01
the most doting dad I ve ever met and seen, if that makes sense.
5
SPEAKER_01
At least in my life.
5
SPEAKER_00
The most what, dad?
5
SPEAKER_01
The most doting and amazing dad.
5
SPEAKER_01
He loves his kids.
5
SPEAKER_01
I don t think, I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what he s saying.
5
SPEAKER_01
Sorry, I m going to repeat it.
5
SPEAKER_01
My situation right now is that I m in a process.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t like talking about these things and like, you know, I don t have to, you don t have to, I mean, look, man, we re on a, uh, you know, you don t have to talk about any, anything you don t want to.
5
SPEAKER_01
No, we actually do.
5
SPEAKER_01
We would.
5
SPEAKER_01
These are this is like one of the things that we ve been dying to talk to you about.
5
SPEAKER_01
But like with my oldest, I m in a court process right now.
5
SPEAKER_01
His like bio dad has been involved from the beginning, has not stopped being involved.
5
SPEAKER_01
But he never like it was like he, you know, saw him on a weekend basis.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then randomly one day he showed up like with his girl to my place to drop off my kid and was like, oh, like you re abusing the kid and I want him 100%.
5
SPEAKER_01
And like bio dad and I had always had like really great communication.
5
SPEAKER_01
And like, this was like all, you know, this is all like text messages.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like we didn t really call each other.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it got to the point where like when it came to like drop off, we would spend like an hour between me, my husband and himself just talking about whatever type of thing.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like I just to show you that we had a really we had a really good bond up until that point.
5
SPEAKER_01
And then all of a sudden he comes out saying that like, oh, I m abusing the kid.
5
SPEAKER_01
He didn t take me to court.
5
SPEAKER_01
And that was the main reason why
5
SPEAKER_01
We started therapy.
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, that was the main reason why my husband and I started therapy because I restarted therapy because I ve been in therapy on and off.
5
SPEAKER_01
So that s his main concerns with like, you know, talking to the therapist about specific areas of his, you know, life.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know, we re in this process.
5
SPEAKER_01
of this guy trying to take my kid away from me.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, the bio dad is like being fucking weird.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Bio dad is like super weird.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like, like we, like my husband said, he takes the kids to school.
5
SPEAKER_01
He picks them up from school.
5
SPEAKER_01
If you see the amount of homework that we do, like I basically, I basically like he does schoolwork and homework and then I basically homeschool him afterwards.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like, we do a lot of, like, educational things in my household.
5
SPEAKER_00
Um, listen, listen, Veronica, let me... I think... Okay, I think, um... Look, man, um...
5
SPEAKER_00
I think this situation might have gone a little bit over my pay grade here, but I do want to say, but I do want to say just from my own opinion because you guys are, you know, I appreciate that you guys have been willing to talk about
5
SPEAKER_00
All of this stuff.
5
SPEAKER_00
I just want to say for my own opinion.
5
SPEAKER_00
I believe from talking to both of you that both of you have a Strong desire to be good parents and be good good people I believe that like sincerely from from both of you guys, and I just want to say that I hope that I
5
SPEAKER_00
you know uh uh you re both able to get the help that you need i don t i have no idea if it s a good idea for for your husband to uh be be hanging out at the bar with this therapist i have no fucking idea but he s i i hope both of you are able to like okay
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay, but I hope both of you are able to, like, find the help that you need, and I would suggest, you know, even if you re afraid, I would suggest talking to your therapist about all this different stuff, because I believe if you guys do go out and get help, that you ll be able to get over these, like, issues that are, you know, in the way of your guys  happiness.
5
SPEAKER_00
But I, goddammit, I believe in...
5
SPEAKER_00
both of your um good intentions you know so um i ll i ll say that that s the main thing i wanted a couple more things to say if you still want to talk to me i ll let you i i i kind of i i will say gabe i kind of i kind of want to leave it at that because i think i m getting a little bit too in over my head here but um is there is there anything else that and also i ll i ll say i ll let me let me um
5
SPEAKER_00
Uh, come say hi in Miami, man.
5
SPEAKER_00
We can, we can, we can talk.
5
SPEAKER_00
I don t know for sure.
5
SPEAKER_00
I won t be there.
5
SPEAKER_00
Okay, cool.
5
SPEAKER_00
Is there anything else you want to say to the people of the computer before we go?
5
SPEAKER_02
Um, chat, it was good, dawg.
5
SPEAKER_02
I hope you guys fuck with me.
5
SPEAKER_02
Um, hopefully my dreams come true and I might start streaming.
5
SPEAKER_02
Um, nothing else.
5
SPEAKER_02
That s pretty much it.
5
SPEAKER_02
I hope, I hope everybody in the chat has a blessed day and, you know, and their dreams come true and they can be happy with their lives.
5
SPEAKER_00
Thanks, Gabe.
5
SPEAKER_00
And thank you, Veronica.
5
SPEAKER_00
I appreciate you guys, and good luck to you.
5
SPEAKER_02
Veronica, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
All right, well, take it easy.
5
SPEAKER_00
Man, I don t know man.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that was that did get a little bit over my over my pay grade for a second But I met I met everything I fucking met whatever everything that I said I believed both of them That like they they love their children and that they Like are are good people with good intentions, and I understand I
5
SPEAKER_00
I guess I understand where this dude s, like, fear is coming from, from, like, talking to a motherfucker about, like, all this stuff, but... I mean, you got- you gotta.
5
SPEAKER_00
You know, you gotta.
5
SPEAKER_00
Um...
5
SPEAKER_00
I m sure I ll see him in Miami.
5
SPEAKER_00
I- It ll be- I m so- I m so curious.
5
SPEAKER_00
If- If, uh, he actually shows up with his therapist.
5
SPEAKER_00
And I m- There s gonna be a moment where I m just standing with this dude and his therapist and being like, What s going on, man?
5
SPEAKER_00
Um... But yeah, uh... Good, uh... Good- Good luck to both of those guys.
5
SPEAKER_00
And, uh, good luck to the chil- Good luck to all the children of the world.
5
SPEAKER_00
And, uh...
5
SPEAKER_00
I think that s it.