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This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.
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But look at how fast, we re almost halfway through the year.
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Crazy.
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Yeah.
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Are you proud of what you ve done in 2024 so far?
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I know.
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I mean, you always want to do more, right?
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Life goes so fast, David.
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It s important to take a moment to celebrate your wins, make adjustments for the rest of the year.
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Therapy can help you take stock of your progress and set achievable goals for the next six months.
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Yeah.
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Listen, therapy is the way to go.
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I did it for a while.
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And I think the thing that slowed me down was what they, is driving to Santa Monica in traffic once or twice a week.
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This is online.
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It s a great idea.
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Very convenient.
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It helps you.
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You ve got coping skills, how to set boundaries.
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I mean, there s so many things you can do here to be a better version of yourself.
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You can probably always sharpen it.
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Yeah, I mean, I had a therapist in Portland and I would commute and that was a pain.
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That s a long drive.
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I know it was 1300 miles one way, but you know, it s good therapist.
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But yeah, this one you can mix and match and your thoughts kind of control you and you want to master them.
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And when you talk to someone else, they re able to kind of discern it out.
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So if you re thinking of starting to give therapy a try, give BetterHelp a try.
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Yeah, it s entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, suited to your schedule.
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You fill out a questionnaire, get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist if you want to for any reason, no charge.
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Take a moment, visit betterhelp.com slash FOTW today.
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Get 10% off your first month.
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That s betterhelp, H-E-L-P.com slash F-O-T-W.
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All right, let s tell them about Bill Burr.
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Bill Burr, great guy to have on.
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We got to chat with him for a while.
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Really funny comic, super cool dude.
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A guy, my personal experience with him, didn t know him well, but we started voice texting each other during the pandemic.
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And it was a lot of fun because he goes, you know what?
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Well, you do it better.
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But you know, he was just, we were just bitching about stuff and it was really funny for a guy who I wasn t great friends with, but I always thought he was funny and he always says ballsier shit than I do on stage, which is, you know, that s, I always admire when people can do that.
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And he s sort of uncancellable, we talked about that.
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We just have a lot of laughs.
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So when we see him one night, we did a show together.
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I have a picture of us, me, you, him.
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That s right.
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Norm, maybe?
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That was the night where, yeah, it was us.
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And he followed me and crushed, of course.
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And he was kind of humble about it.
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He was, I was just riding the wave you made, you know?
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So he s, you know, he has, there s a definite alpha power to him on stage, but he s kind of cuddly and he busts himself all the time.
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I m a fucking moron, what do I know?
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I mean, but he is probably one of the top five standups of the last decade.
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He fills some big rooms, you know?
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Yeah, he s a brilliant standup.
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And he does ride that line where he can really comment deeply on things, but never cross it.
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Anyway, it s fun to hang out with, very just a cool guy.
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He does ballsy shit, even his SNL monologue, we talked about that.
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There s stuff where I see him clips on Instagram or whatever, and I m like, wow, like stuff that obviously isn t the general opinion, and he goes the other way with it.
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And that s harder, because it can stop the crowd in its tracks.
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And then he digs out of it.
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He gets them to get what he s talking about, get on his side, and he keeps going.
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It s like, shit.
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There is that expectation.
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I mean, when they see you come out, are they thinking your movies?
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Are they thinking, you know, there s a certain- They don t know much about the- They don t want to get really political.
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No, they don t.
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I ve learned they don t like it too dirty when I m on the road.
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They know me from
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PG-13 movies and sitcoms.
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And that s mostly it.
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They don t know standup and that s how I got started.
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So they don t know what to expect.
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And if it goes too rough, they don t like it, I found.
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And also I m not political.
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So if I got into that out of the blue, I think that would throw people off.
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So I just kind of do, but I do like the stuff I m doing.
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I just, I don t really want to be there to have tons of walkouts.
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Yeah, I like all flavors.
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Would I love to say what I want?
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But it s also just fun to try to make them laugh really hard.
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But for me, it s the whole weight of SNL on it and a few specials.
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But I can feel the whole audience kind of go like that when I go into a voice, an impression or something.
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So I can t complain.
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What are you going to do?
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It s nice.
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What are you gonna do?
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I wish I, you know, I always, when I was a kid, which I think we tell Bill, that I always thought the East Coast could beat up the West Coast.
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Like if there was a fight, the East Coast and the West Coast are meeting in Minnesota to fight.
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But I always wanted to be one of these guys.
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Like if I could talk like this as normal, it already has an aggression alpha male to it.
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SPEAKER_00
How you doing?
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Give me a fucking cup of water.
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I asked you two times.
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What are you gonna do?
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I need a fucking cup of water.
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I m not gonna ask you again, Paulie.
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You know, wouldn t you want to be that guy?
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I like it, yeah.
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Cause that s always those pushy guys that when I moved to SNL, I didn t know women have accents too.
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I m not like super smart, but it just never happened.
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It was always the guys like, you know, it was like, and so when I see girls talk, I go, how you doing?
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Pretty good guy.
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I m like, is this a, what?
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Well, it sounds aggressive.
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It s not sexual when you re with a woman like that.
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Stay down your fucking pants and see what you got.
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Where s the boner I heard about?
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Come on.
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Hey, Barbara, come on.
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I said drop him.
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Barbara.
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That s the best part.
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No, I was really taken aback.
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I m like, oh.
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Because I m from AZ in California.
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Everyone has just the most blando.
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I know.
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Hello.
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SPEAKER_00
How are you?
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I don t have a voice and I don t have a face.
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I ve said it before.
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I m not even a human being.
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Actually, turn off the camera.
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We look like shit.
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SPEAKER_01
This is ridiculous.
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Go wider, Evan.
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How much we got to pay?
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SPEAKER_00
Wider or turn it off?
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There s no... Evan Futsit is on camera today.
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He s a world-renowned cinematographer, and he goes nice and wide on us.
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All right, let s get to Bill Burr.
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We re losing him.
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I m almost 80.
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Let s get to Bill Burr because... Yeah.
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Here he is.
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Okay.
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Bill Burr.
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No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
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Please.
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Bill, you just go out there and you say your truth and you go with it.
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They know who you are in the comedy clubs, nobody knows who you are here.
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Is that what he told you?
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That sounds like him.
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Yeah, it was just, no, but it s great advice.
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Say hello, say you re happy to be here.
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Be nice.
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Right, don t go right into the bits.
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Got it.
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You re a gruff, no-nonsense comedian.
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They have no idea who you are, so have a good show.
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That s sort of it, right?
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I m selling out all over the world.
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No, I came on as a host, not a cast member.
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So I did.
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Yeah.
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Whatever happened to you guys didn t happen to me.
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He was great.
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No, you actually came on at the very end as a host, as the winner.
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So, Bill, what is it about you that makes you so great?
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Yeah.
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What s it about you that makes you great, Dana?
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Because I m curious.
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That s a good that s a great question, Bill.
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Um, I have no fucking clue.
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I m just trying to survive on the planet.
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What s on your mind today?
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Because you you re a man of a lot of thoughts.
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Yeah.
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Ah, that s that s kind of a myth.
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What is on my mind today?
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I would love a cappuccino.
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Oh, yeah.
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And just sit there and watch everybody else driving around going nuts.
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You know, like yesterday, I actually I actually had to get you one.
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Where are you?
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I actually had time yesterday with a buddy of mine.
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We went to this this cigar
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uh, shop on, uh, Larchmont.
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And it was everything I loved about cigars.
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It was just a bunch of knucklehead old guys sitting out in front of this thing, breaking each other s balls, just laughing.
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And one point where I m listening to all their stories and, you know, about their families and sports and shit.
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I m just watching all these people driving by traffic.
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And, uh, I don t know.
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That was just one of those moments like, yeah, this, this is actually living.
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Yeah, that s like real life as opposed to I got to write a new joke.
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I got to go here.
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I got to call this guy.
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I got to do this.
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SPEAKER_02
I got to go on two famous guys podcasts so they can show off the background of their multi-layered mansions.
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SPEAKER_02
I see what you guys are doing.
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SPEAKER_00
You re building a brand.
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I m at a Ramada Inn.
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SPEAKER_00
I hope you could tell.
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SPEAKER_02
Oh, is that what it is?
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That looks like a mansion to me.
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How you landed that stand-up on SNL, because I watched it again today, because I like to do homework.
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I saw his monologue, yep.
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That was like threading the needle.
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SPEAKER_00
What would you call that?
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I mean, you d vetted that in the clubs.
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SPEAKER_00
You knew where all the laughs were.
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SPEAKER_00
How did that feel going out there with a crowd that maybe didn t know you that well, with that whole white women and all that?
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I just always look at it like I m not trying to be
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I m not being malicious.
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So and then it just because somebody heard it maliciously, that doesn t mean just because you hear it doesn t mean that s like that s how I meant it.
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SPEAKER_00
And if I tell you that s not how I meant it, like you don t get to overrule my own thoughts.
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SPEAKER_00
Like it gets to the point of like, yeah, I know what I m thinking.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
And then also what is going on on social media and.
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in cities like LA and New York is not, and not even all of LA, it s not real.
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SPEAKER_00
It s just sort of this small group of people running around like chicken little.
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SPEAKER_00
Like somebody asked me recently, he said, what s the biggest thing threatening comedy?
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I was like, there s nothing threatening comedy.
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Well, that s good.
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Like there s some asteroid coming here with some, you know, hairy-legged feminist on it.
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SPEAKER_00
It s just like, I m always astounded with how not funny people, the people that are telling people what s funny and isn t.
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SPEAKER_00
Like, it goes back to like the, when I watched sports, the amount of just out of shape, fat fucks questioning.
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SPEAKER_00
Like, what was he doing on that play?
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SPEAKER_00
He should have read.
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SPEAKER_00
It s like, when was the last time you ever read?
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Other than to a fucking buffet.
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So I mean, I think that just that s just part of anything that that you do.
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And presidents have to listen to comedians making fun of them, oversimplifying world events.
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I do that all the time.
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Like, hey, why don t you just do this?
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SPEAKER_00
You know, no way to go to Saudi Arabia.
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SPEAKER_02
You tell the guy you need oil.
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And you get the oil and tell everybody to chill out.
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SPEAKER_01
You smack them around.
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If you ve got to smack them around, you smack them around.
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I ll be selling like me for T me for president t shirts after my set.
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Yeah, everybody, every president goes in when they win the first day and they get in a room and someone goes, forget your whole campaign, forget everything.
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SPEAKER_02
We re starting from scratch right now.
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SPEAKER_02
This is how it really works.
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And he s like, oh, okay.
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SPEAKER_01
There was a kind of a sensitivity to Biden just from someone who does impressions initially, right?
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The first three months you start to go into it, depending where you were in the audience, get quiet.
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They wouldn t boo.
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They just get quiet.
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is I think it was sort of he was supposed to be the grandfather of the country and calm us all down.
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SPEAKER_01
You know, this was like in April of twenty twenty one.
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I don t think that s who he was.
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SPEAKER_00
I think people wanted anybody but Trump.
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SPEAKER_00
So they picked a warmonger with dementia.
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SPEAKER_01
right and if you ding the demented war guy if you ding him you re making the orange hitler happy so you don t want to make the orange hitler happy so you can t ding the demented guy it s a vice i think we can both i think both sides can agree our latest two representations have been the worst representation so can a brother get a jfk can we get a 45 year old horny guy who can really speak go back to the horny guys well i mean just somebody with some you know
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Something but did David really just apply chapstick during this podcast.
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SPEAKER_00
Did that just happen?
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SPEAKER_00
No bill.
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It s called It s called Viagra and I put on my lips and that travels down to my rock-hard boner
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SPEAKER_01
Sorry.
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SPEAKER_01
Well, that s do you ever hang out with you ever hang out with someone and they re telling a story and they compliment their dick?
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SPEAKER_01
They go.
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SPEAKER_01
So I m with this girl.
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SPEAKER_01
Right.
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SPEAKER_01
And I ve got this huge heart on.
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SPEAKER_01
I was trying to do too much information.
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SPEAKER_00
I don t want to say, though, I always thought a rager was funny.
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SPEAKER_00
You know, I got a raging, just a rager.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
I got a rager.
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SPEAKER_01
And you re just at a restaurant with a guy.
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SPEAKER_01
I got a rager on your ass.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_02
It s just comes up.
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SPEAKER_00
It s funny to me because you know, no logical, no logical decision is going to make once it s a rager.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
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It s driving the ship.
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SPEAKER_01
It s kinda angry, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, when I was a kid, I had a raging rod like 24-7, and I remember just staring at girls in classes going, I can t think of school, I can t think of anything.
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SPEAKER_02
It s wrong, I shouldn t have this, it s unfair.
1
SPEAKER_02
Because the girls couldn t give a fat fuck about me, so they re just like studying, and I m like, how are you looking at literature?
1
SPEAKER_02
That was one of my classes.
1
SPEAKER_02
And what was your nickname again, David, in high school?
1
SPEAKER_02
There was a couple.
1
SPEAKER_02
There was Shrimp Cocktail.
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SPEAKER_01
Shrimp Cocktail.
1
SPEAKER_02
There was Sprout, which was horrible because it was based on the Jolly Green Giant and his little green sprout.
1
SPEAKER_02
Remember that fucker?
1
SPEAKER_01
And that was the name of him?
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
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SPEAKER_02
Remember that?
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SPEAKER_02
That was brutal.
1
SPEAKER_01
Were you big in high school, Bill?
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I mean, were you a small guy or were you average?
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SPEAKER_00
I was a face in the crowd.
1
SPEAKER_00
I wasn t cool.
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SPEAKER_00
I wasn t a nerd.
1
SPEAKER_00
I was just there.
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SPEAKER_01
A face in the crowd.
1
SPEAKER_00
Did you do any athletics at all?
1
SPEAKER_00
I got a D in math in fifth grade and my dad pulled everybody out of sports because I think he just didn t want to go because he was anti-social.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then I remember after high school, he said to me, he goes, how come you never played football?
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SPEAKER_00
I was like, I thought you didn t want me to.
1
SPEAKER_00
He goes, no.
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SPEAKER_00
Which is complete horse shit, because I did play football.
1
SPEAKER_00
I did play football.
1
SPEAKER_00
And all he talked, he screamed and yelled about how I was knocking what little brains I had out of my head.
1
SPEAKER_00
He kind of saw CTE before anybody else, I guess.
1
SPEAKER_00
So there was that.
1
SPEAKER_00
But I played like baseball.
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SPEAKER_00
I played like pond hockey and stuff.
1
SPEAKER_00
I played a lot of
1
SPEAKER_00
I played a lot of sports, but not organized.
1
SPEAKER_00
So we used to have this great game every Friday, just a tackle football game in the outfield of some little minor league baseball field there for the kids.
1
SPEAKER_00
And we would just tell the stories and make everybody laugh on Monday, I remember.
1
SPEAKER_00
Word kind of got out about the game.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then the more popular athletes started playing.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then like all of my regular friends just like tapped out and they stopped going because the competition got too high, I think.
1
SPEAKER_00
And it was only like me and like two other guys stuck around to get our asses kicked.
1
SPEAKER_00
But it was more, it was more like that.
1
SPEAKER_00
But I was definitely a, you know, I wasn t a nerd, but I was not, I wasn t part of the cool kids.
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SPEAKER_00
I was, you know, I was right in the middle.
1
SPEAKER_02
nerd is at least some, you know, moniker of just being a face in the crowd is almost worse.
1
SPEAKER_02
Just you re part of nothing.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
If I didn t do what I did for a living, everyone would have forgot about me by now.
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SPEAKER_02
They would ve forgot long ago.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
What was that?
1
SPEAKER_00
Orange kid s name.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know, I, uh, Patrick total gin.
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SPEAKER_02
I have a poster of me and uh, I have this picture of me, Bill Burr.
1
SPEAKER_02
Dana and Norm, do you remember that night?
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SPEAKER_00
I have that right on my wall.
1
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I sent that to you, right?
1
SPEAKER_02
I have one too.
1
SPEAKER_00
I sent one to you guys.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
I ve got it here somewhere.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_02
And Dana s is in the garage, but mine s up.
1
SPEAKER_02
And that was a fun night.
1
SPEAKER_02
I think it was my night where I got to pick people to go on at the Comedy Store, just like a stupid night.
1
SPEAKER_02
Like, do you wanna have your own night?
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SPEAKER_02
You pay your friends nothing and then you keep a little scratch from the door.
1
SPEAKER_02
I m like, that sounds fun.
1
SPEAKER_02
So we went and Norm, I can t even remember anything about that night with Norm.
1
SPEAKER_02
Do you remember anything?
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SPEAKER_02
That was fun show though.
1
SPEAKER_00
I do.
1
SPEAKER_00
I remember that was like a make a wish for me.
1
SPEAKER_00
Cause it was like three of my most favorite comedians and guys from SNL on that show.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I was just sitting there going, I can t believe these guys even know who I am or would want me to come down there.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I remember Norm was, as always, holding court.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_00
In the most quiet, slowly, like, usually if somebody s holding court, they re loud and boisterous.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he just is sort of like really still.
1
SPEAKER_02
Us.
1
SPEAKER_00
And he would just get that look on his face and you re like, oh.
1
SPEAKER_00
He s got something coming.
1
SPEAKER_00
I hope this isn t aimed at me.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, he took up a lot of space.
1
SPEAKER_01
He was sneakily a pretty big guy and he was laying back on the couch, like laying way back backstage.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he was kind of big.
1
SPEAKER_01
At the comedy store and you re right, it s so laissez-faire like, hey, there s this guy, you know, shot his wife, right?
1
SPEAKER_01
And you just lean in because usually it s something kind of brilliant or bizarre.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, he had an irresistible rhythm.
1
SPEAKER_01
Sweet Norm.
1
SPEAKER_01
We do Norm because we miss Norm.
1
SPEAKER_01
We don t feel it s... No, everyone knows that.
1
SPEAKER_02
We think Norm s hysterical.
1
SPEAKER_02
Even if we say something he did that s crazy, it s still out of good thoughts.
1
SPEAKER_00
I like what you guys do with those other stories because it humanizes them.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s like, oh, he could be a dick.
1
SPEAKER_00
Everybody at some point is a dick to their friends.
1
SPEAKER_02
Sure, sure.
1
SPEAKER_02
I was mad at him during COVID because he kept saying, David, let s go to dinner.
1
SPEAKER_02
And then I go, all right, how about Friday?
1
SPEAKER_02
He goes, what?
1
SPEAKER_02
I go, how about Friday?
1
SPEAKER_02
He goes, what about COVID?
1
SPEAKER_02
Norm, just come to my house then.
1
SPEAKER_02
You re sitting 20 feet away from me.
1
SPEAKER_02
No, we can t.
1
SPEAKER_02
And then he doesn t drive.
1
SPEAKER_02
Everything about him was a total fucking hassle.
1
SPEAKER_01
Norm was a racketeer.
1
SPEAKER_01
He was a flimflam man.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know, he would just, but I would just start laughing every time he would say something that was a couch message toward me.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like he would point out the worst part of my act, the most inclined, helpless, kind of begging for a laugh, stupid impression.
1
SPEAKER_01
And you go, yeah, you should do more of that guy.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know, that s really funny.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I knew he was fucking with me, so, but I, it just, he was a charming, uh,
2
SPEAKER_03
And it s a lot of gold in there.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it s really good when you do Richard Nixon, right?
2
SPEAKER_02
A lot of people remember him, right?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, more of Richard Nixon.
2
SPEAKER_01
That ll make your act.
2
SPEAKER_01
I did Dennis Miller s show in the old days, Bill.
2
SPEAKER_01
You were just a little toddler.
2
SPEAKER_01
Dennis is another brilliant guy.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I was, Dennis Miller had a few iterations of his show and it was like a talk show.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I don t even remember, me and Norm were on there and I see this clip a lot.
2
SPEAKER_01
So Norm s on, I m the second guest.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I guess I was already on or we were on together.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he s telling Dennis this long story about, I guess, I thought it was boner pills or something that can t get boners.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he goes, and then they always have these commercials like, hey, do you need a rod?
2
SPEAKER_01
Do you have to get your dick hard?
2
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, why are they sending it to me?
2
SPEAKER_01
This commercial is for guys like Spade over here.
2
SPEAKER_01
But actually it was, and I was gay in the story.
2
SPEAKER_01
At the end he says that and Dennis goes, we re both like, you went all that way just to end with fucking ripping me?
2
SPEAKER_01
And then he got a huge laugh when he ripped me.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then they went to a commercial.
2
SPEAKER_01
I go, goddamn Norm.
2
SPEAKER_01
But it s kind of fun to be a part of that.
2
SPEAKER_01
That was just Norm.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I saw that.
2
SPEAKER_03
I saw that clip.
2
SPEAKER_00
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2
SPEAKER_01
I think, first of all, I might have introduced Dana to Bill backstage at the store once.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think Dana and I came in, and I said, oh, Bill Burr s here.
2
SPEAKER_01
You want to meet him?
2
SPEAKER_01
And we went back and said hi to you, and you or Bill were great.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then Bill and I used to also leave each other, which I kind of miss.
2
SPEAKER_01
Those text voice messages, and when you re going to do that with Bill, you know they re the fucking funniest.
2
SPEAKER_01
No matter what he s saying, it s just funny to me.
2
SPEAKER_01
So we would rag on different people.
2
SPEAKER_01
We won t say who, but we d rag on people and it was hysterical.
2
SPEAKER_01
So then you know someone s really good.
2
SPEAKER_03
That was our COVID.
2
SPEAKER_03
It was until we got through COVID.
2
SPEAKER_03
We just left each other voicemail.
2
SPEAKER_03
And then in the end, we would always say, we got to go get dinner sometime.
2
SPEAKER_03
And we never did.
2
SPEAKER_01
We weren t allowed.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I could handle dinner with you and we could drag Dana if we want.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m a homebody, but I will come out.
2
SPEAKER_02
We had all had dinner together.
2
SPEAKER_02
Who else was there?
2
SPEAKER_02
Was Kyle Dunnigan and Nikki Glaser and Bill?
2
SPEAKER_03
I wasn t at that one.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, you were at the one, just the three of us later.
2
SPEAKER_02
Did you go to any, Bill?
2
SPEAKER_02
Did we go to dinner?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, back, in the back room.
2
SPEAKER_03
We had a back room like Lovett s or somebody else was there.
2
SPEAKER_03
I can t remember who.
2
SPEAKER_02
We were technically breaking the law or I think it was like a speakeasy back there.
2
SPEAKER_02
It was a special COVID room.
2
SPEAKER_02
We had our masks off.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
I had dinner with Lovett s the other night.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, you did?
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Was it, did you just run into him or was it planned?
2
SPEAKER_03
No, no, it was totally planned and uh,
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, he just shit on me the entire time we were hanging out.
2
SPEAKER_03
It was awesome.
2
SPEAKER_02
So Bill, how are you?
2
SPEAKER_02
Are you making like a billion dollars?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Stuff like that.
2
SPEAKER_03
Here s something that could help your act.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah, he s always got a lot of act ideas.
2
SPEAKER_03
No, it s not ideas.
2
SPEAKER_03
He s just trashing me.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, he s just trashing you.
2
SPEAKER_01
He tells me, you know what you should do, and this would help everything, and then he gives me a horrible idea.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m looking at this, by the way.
2
SPEAKER_01
Dana, you know the Wilbur Theater in Boston, which I think I ve played, you ve played.
2
SPEAKER_01
I played it.
2
SPEAKER_01
I shot a goofy special there.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you did?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Now, Bill, do you know what I m about to say?
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t want to give Bill any compliments.
2
SPEAKER_01
I promised myself I wouldn t.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s a compliment alert.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he has done 19 shows in a row there.
2
SPEAKER_01
19 in a row.
2
SPEAKER_03
John Mulaney did 20.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh, he did?
2
SPEAKER_03
Just to fuck you?
2
SPEAKER_03
I m a has-been.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, what a joke you are.
2
SPEAKER_02
Mulaney.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, wow.
2
SPEAKER_02
So that throwdown, that s the gauntlet.
2
SPEAKER_02
21 s the new standard.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s like being the world champion.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, and here s the thing.
2
SPEAKER_03
I m from Massachusetts.
2
SPEAKER_03
Mulaney s from Chicago.
2
SPEAKER_03
So what he did was not only won more, it was also more impressive.
2
SPEAKER_03
So you can take that compliment, Danny.
2
SPEAKER_03
You can send it right over to John Mulaney.
2
SPEAKER_02
John Mulaney is so big now that he played Nebraska.
2
SPEAKER_02
They set up a stage in the corner of the state and they just the whole state stood up and they had loudspeakers.
2
SPEAKER_01
He s he s doing 50 city, 50 states, one state each.
2
SPEAKER_01
The whole.
2
SPEAKER_02
But who s the guy?
2
SPEAKER_02
Who s the motherfucker?
2
SPEAKER_02
who sold out Fenway Park.
2
SPEAKER_02
Who the fuck was that?
2
SPEAKER_02
That s 35,000 seats.
2
SPEAKER_02
Who was that?
2
SPEAKER_01
How do you even do it?
2
SPEAKER_01
What do you do when you go there?
2
SPEAKER_01
Do you have any local bits?
2
SPEAKER_01
Like, I was over here on Apollo Boulevard and was like, fuck yeah, guy.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, there was a lot of that talking about drinking and driving.
2
SPEAKER_02
So that was just about two months ago, right?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
You sold out Fenway Park.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that was, uh, was it during a game and you came out at half and what happened or was it just, was it a bucket ticket?
2
SPEAKER_03
It was, it was, it was kind of perfect.
2
SPEAKER_03
It was like a perfect night for baseball and it turned out to be for comedy too.
2
SPEAKER_03
And everybody came out for the comedy and it was like playing a giant comedy club.
2
SPEAKER_03
I can t explain it.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was, I can t imagine.
2
SPEAKER_03
I didn t have to speed up or slow down or adjust.
2
SPEAKER_03
It just,
2
SPEAKER_03
was me telling jokes and them laughing.
2
SPEAKER_03
And every once in a while, I would just sort of look in the crowd and just at the back of it, I just, you know, above home plate, it said Fenway Park.
2
SPEAKER_03
I could I still can t believe.
2
SPEAKER_03
Where were you?
2
SPEAKER_02
Where was this stage?
2
SPEAKER_02
Second base or pitchers mound?
2
SPEAKER_02
Where was that little stage they had you in?
2
SPEAKER_03
It was I was out in the center field.
2
SPEAKER_02
Center field.
2
SPEAKER_02
OK, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
Center field.
2
SPEAKER_03
So how they see it is everybody sits on the outfield.
2
SPEAKER_03
They keep the infield.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
That makes you feel better, Dana.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh, it s not 35,000.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s probably about, I just got to get a pin.
2
SPEAKER_02
I want to cross that out.
2
SPEAKER_03
Um, and then that, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
And then the, all this, this, this stands were filled up, uh, it was a few scattered singles left or whatever.
2
SPEAKER_03
Um, that s just a product of the internet, how that ended up happening.
2
SPEAKER_03
Cause the internet destroyed the music industry and I just feel like it created a vacuum.
2
SPEAKER_03
and something else had to fill it.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I think the way- Oh, interesting.
2
SPEAKER_03
Well, just the way comedians are where, because once people hear our jokes, we have to come up with something new again.
2
SPEAKER_03
You can t tell the same joke again.
2
SPEAKER_03
Everybody on the internet s just like, oh my God, I saw that clip a week ago, blah, blah, blah.
2
SPEAKER_03
So like the way that we have to keep going and the way people on the internet just want to keep seeing something new, what s the new latest thing?
2
SPEAKER_03
It just sort of meshed because it doesn t make sense.
2
SPEAKER_01
It doesn t make sense.
2
SPEAKER_01
It wasn t like this.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was Steve Martin was playing big arenas when I grew up and maybe the Blues Brothers did a couple and I can t even think of just comics that were maybe George Carlin.
2
SPEAKER_03
It was Carlin, Cosby,
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Steve for a while.
2
SPEAKER_02
Um, Robin was really big.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t know if Robin played stadiums, but, but I m thinking like 3000 clay dice clay was a guy that dice got really big.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
Dice was the first guy to do the arenas for Steve Martin.
2
SPEAKER_03
And then Dane Cook started the new, the new thing where
2
SPEAKER_03
Uh, he kind of showed people how to brand themselves on social media and be directly linked with your fans and build a fan base.
2
SPEAKER_03
I still think you have to be, you gotta be at some level compelling.
2
SPEAKER_03
You can t just go on the internet and just be like, Hey, you know, I want, I want some fans.
2
SPEAKER_02
But we talked to a lot of people on this podcast who have leaped to Madison square garden, like John Mulaney and Bert Kreischner is doing 10,000 cedars.
2
SPEAKER_02
He could, he s huge in Germany and Australia.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s just this new, this new thing of we re podcasting and Netflix specials.
2
SPEAKER_02
It seems like.
2
SPEAKER_02
So many people not doing like 3000 seat theaters, like you d think they d be doing there or 6000 seat theaters, but up to sheds and mini arenas.
2
SPEAKER_02
So anyway, it s fascinating.
2
SPEAKER_02
You re one of them.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re one of only like 100 that do it.
2
SPEAKER_03
I know.
2
SPEAKER_03
I m saving the money, too, because I know this is a real estate bubble.
2
SPEAKER_03
We ll see what.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
But I don t see people getting tired of laughing, though.
2
SPEAKER_03
That s another thing, too.
2
SPEAKER_03
It s not like
2
SPEAKER_03
I think the thing that probably takes you out is if you stop going to the comedy clubs as a performer because then you start aging in dog years.
3
SPEAKER_02
something about going down and not like you have to pretend like you re young, you still act your age, but just being around young, you just sort of absorb how to, how to still be a 54 year old guy like me, but be relevant where, uh, I remember, you know, when I was coming up with a bit, the Holy grail was not anybody going to Madison square garden.
3
SPEAKER_02
It was getting a sitcom that made it to syndication.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I remember seeing no,
3
SPEAKER_02
I saw a good three or four of those guys come out of those eight year, nine year, seven year runs on a show and go back to a comedy club with their act from seven years ago and just eat a dick.
3
SPEAKER_02
One of them was definitely David Spade.
3
SPEAKER_02
Dana, did I ever tell you how disappointed I was the first time I ever saw David Spade?
3
SPEAKER_03
No, let s hear that story.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh, it was just all attitude.
3
SPEAKER_02
There was no punch lines.
3
SPEAKER_02
No joke.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m on TV.
3
SPEAKER_02
He had a seashell necklace.
3
SPEAKER_02
I just, you know, it s just terrible.
3
SPEAKER_00
OK.
3
SPEAKER_02
Actually, the first time I saw Dana, he was he was on a payphone outside of this.
3
SPEAKER_02
How long goes payphone outside the the improv?
3
SPEAKER_02
on Melrose and he had a hat on, you know, cause he was on SNL at the time.
3
SPEAKER_02
Or maybe he was, I think he was doing the movie.
3
SPEAKER_03
Just shoot me or something.
3
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I just remember thinking like, holy shit, that s fucking David Spade.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
The big moment.
3
SPEAKER_02
Then I got to know him.
3
SPEAKER_02
I was like, Oh, this fucking idiot.
3
SPEAKER_03
He has been part of the comedy landscape David has for 40 years.
3
SPEAKER_03
It s unbelievable.
3
SPEAKER_03
Uh, let s not round it up for six for 60, 30 late 80s.
3
SPEAKER_02
Was that young comedians special with?
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
Did you see that?
3
SPEAKER_02
I loved it.
3
SPEAKER_04
Oh, that s great.
3
SPEAKER_02
Schneider, Jan Karam.
3
SPEAKER_04
Mm hmm.
3
SPEAKER_02
Drake Sather.
3
SPEAKER_04
Drake was great.
3
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_04
Fred Stoller.
3
SPEAKER_02
Fred Stoller.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh, you bastards.
3
SPEAKER_02
I ll take you all down with me.
3
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_04
Oh, Freddie.
3
SPEAKER_02
Warren Hutchinson.
3
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_04
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_04
Passed away soon after.
3
SPEAKER_04
You know, I will tell you that s special.
3
SPEAKER_04
What I remember is I wasn t supposed to be on it.
3
SPEAKER_02
No more.
3
SPEAKER_02
No more.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s YouTube bit.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
I remember all that shit.
3
SPEAKER_04
I don t know what you re saying, dude.
3
SPEAKER_04
I don t even know which one you guys are singing.
3
SPEAKER_04
I m supposed to read your lips.
3
SPEAKER_04
Those were, you know, I stumbled into some good jokes starting out because I didn t have a lot to compare it to when I was in Arizona.
3
SPEAKER_04
And so I couldn t really copy everyone because I wasn t, I didn t know what was going on.
3
SPEAKER_04
When I first went on, this sounds crazy, but it was just a comedy club and I decided to be fun to go do comedy.
3
SPEAKER_04
And I was telling the guy before me some stuff from a Billy Crystal album I was going to do.
3
SPEAKER_04
And he goes,
3
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, I wouldn t do that.
3
SPEAKER_04
And I go, why?
3
SPEAKER_04
And they go, they want you to just make up your own stuff.
3
SPEAKER_04
I go, oh, well, that s fucking, who does that?
3
SPEAKER_04
Like, that s way harder.
3
SPEAKER_04
I just thought I was such a performer.
3
SPEAKER_04
I go, I could do this, because I memorized.
3
SPEAKER_04
It was so dumb, but I didn t know anything.
3
SPEAKER_04
I was 19.
3
SPEAKER_04
And then, so I did Billy Crystal s act for the first four years.
3
SPEAKER_04
And then, no, I didn t.
3
SPEAKER_04
But I did get stopped, luckily, because I would have done, it wouldn t have killed me, because it s like a dumb club.
3
SPEAKER_04
I didn t know anything.
3
SPEAKER_04
So then you get older and you try to do better, but I don t know where this is heading.
3
SPEAKER_04
I have no idea.
3
SPEAKER_03
I think you re more experimental and then you kind of learn how to do it and you get more, you know, sounding like a comedian.
3
SPEAKER_03
Then you try to get away from that.
3
SPEAKER_04
That s special.
3
SPEAKER_04
Did you ever audition for those?
3
SPEAKER_04
Cause they had them for a while on HBO and that was sort of the only game in town and in LA we would do it.
3
SPEAKER_04
And then every year it would come around and you try to get, if you had an agent or a showcase, the improv to get your young comedian special.
3
SPEAKER_04
And then, uh, I, they said next year will probably be your year.
3
SPEAKER_04
I did it three times.
3
SPEAKER_04
Didn t get on.
3
SPEAKER_04
And that one, they picked five and they said, shit, you were six, sorry.
3
SPEAKER_04
And I was like, oh my God.
3
SPEAKER_04
And luckily my management was somehow producing that year only.
3
SPEAKER_04
And then Dennis Miller was the host and they both said, squeeze one more asshole in there, who cares?
3
SPEAKER_03
And Dennis Miller championed David.
3
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, Dennis helped me get on that.
3
SPEAKER_04
And then we did it and then Warren, I remember I thought it was so ballsy because he was a crowd work guy and he was doing crowd work on the special.
3
SPEAKER_04
and they couldn t use all of it.
3
SPEAKER_04
Because it s like, this guy, where d you eat tonight?
3
SPEAKER_04
You know, some nights that s really hit or miss.
3
SPEAKER_04
Some night it kills.
3
SPEAKER_04
And that night it wasn t killing.
3
SPEAKER_04
And in my head, I was just going over my six minutes every night going, how would you do just the gamble of getting on this thing and doing crowd work?
3
SPEAKER_04
He did pretty good, but overall the, you know, it came on and Rob and I got SNL off of that, for sure.
3
SPEAKER_02
I ve always hated crowd work.
3
SPEAKER_02
forced crowd work.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like if you go up and something happens and you interact, that s cool.
3
SPEAKER_02
But to just go up there and do that, like I just feel like the crowd always like, no matter what you say to them, they like lose their mind.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like, Oh my God, how did he just come off the top of his head to tell me to go fuck myself?
3
SPEAKER_02
I always just thought it was, you know, I felt that way.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then I also thought like, uh,
3
SPEAKER_02
doing jokes about sex, unless you had a really specific story.
3
SPEAKER_02
Mm hmm.
3
SPEAKER_02
Because, you know, because I did both of those things, I played with the crowd and I also had like sex stories and they re just like.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I remember being on stage like as the crowd was laughing, it s like it s not that funny.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_04
You re even telling the crowd it s not that funny.
3
SPEAKER_02
They settle down, settle down.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s like everybody, everybody laughs at a joke.
3
SPEAKER_02
So and then I also noticed, you know, when I was on the road,
3
SPEAKER_02
had fifth
3
SPEAKER_04
You know, have you ever seen a guy at the store or you re at the Improv and they do, to the audience at home, when you get the light as a comic, let s say you re doing 20 minutes, they give you the light at 17 or 18 minutes, meaning if you don t know where you are, you ve only got three minutes left.
3
SPEAKER_04
So you see comics do that, and then they do another chunk, then another chunk, and you re waiting to go on, and then they have the balls to go, so what else is going on?
3
SPEAKER_04
You have to be off five minutes ago.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
What else is going on is the fucking light came on.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_04
Or do it at the beginning and don t milk it.
3
SPEAKER_04
You re supposed to walk off.
3
SPEAKER_04
You re trying to stay on now.
3
SPEAKER_03
Uh, Bill and your early, early days and stuff.
3
SPEAKER_03
Did you have auditions either for a manager, an agent, TV show or stand up where, where it didn t go so well?
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah.
3
SPEAKER_03
All right.
3
SPEAKER_03
Can we hear one of those?
3
SPEAKER_03
Cause you re so confident on stage in these last 15 years of my career.
3
SPEAKER_02
I remember that.
3
SPEAKER_02
I remember, uh, I finally killed on one of them.
3
SPEAKER_02
One of those awful showcases and the lady was, and some big woman agent,
3
SPEAKER_02
My manager at the time asked, what you think?
3
SPEAKER_02
He s like, he s funny, but he has a weird look.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I knew what that meant.
3
SPEAKER_02
It meant he s a he s a redhead.
3
SPEAKER_02
He s a ginger.
3
SPEAKER_02
It was like a rule.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like, it s like, wow, he s like the friend.
3
SPEAKER_02
What am I going to do with this?
3
SPEAKER_02
He s not getting the girl.
3
SPEAKER_02
He doesn t get the gun.
3
SPEAKER_02
You know, it was like, all right, well, if we need another Ralph Malfe, I guess I found the guy.
3
SPEAKER_02
So there was a lot of.
3
SPEAKER_02
A lot of that there was.
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t remember.
3
SPEAKER_02
It was so long ago, but Jesus Christ.
3
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I was a terrible actor and I would go in, I would make these big, dumb choices and I would bring props in and I just desperate, just desperation.
3
SPEAKER_03
I did props.
3
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_03
What turned it?
3
SPEAKER_03
When did you like get your style and start to kick ass?
3
SPEAKER_03
I mean, how many years in did you become Bill Burr?
3
SPEAKER_03
Like, like 15 years?
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, 17.
3
SPEAKER_04
And then all of a sudden.
3
SPEAKER_04
17 year overnight success.
3
SPEAKER_02
No, I think I did that half hour for HBO and that got me a little momentum.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then, uh, yeah, I just had to keep doing specials with each special.
3
SPEAKER_02
I got a little more credibility and it was, um, you know, I, I kind of had to go the long way around, but I was happy.
3
SPEAKER_02
Like I didn t really start making good money until my forties, but like, I feel like that s a better.
3
SPEAKER_02
route to take than to be like David Spade and be like, you know, like the Leif Garrett at comedy.
3
SPEAKER_02
Right.
3
SPEAKER_03
Twenty, twenty one.
3
SPEAKER_03
He was in a movie.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_03
Twenty one.
3
SPEAKER_02
I d be being on being on the cover of Dynamite magazine.
3
SPEAKER_02
Remember that?
3
SPEAKER_04
If I wish.
3
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_04
I think somebody somebody just knock.
3
SPEAKER_01
Get the fuck out.
3
SPEAKER_01
Cappuccino, yes!
3
SPEAKER_01
It s fucking here.
3
SPEAKER_01
What s with cappuccino?
3
SPEAKER_01
Can you just drink coffee?
3
SPEAKER_01
Can you just deal with cappuccino?
3
SPEAKER_01
Thank you so much.
3
SPEAKER_01
You gotta have a fucking foam on your coffee?
3
SPEAKER_01
What the fuck is that about?
3
SPEAKER_01
Just drink coffee.
3
SPEAKER_01
What is this guy?
3
SPEAKER_01
Got a little sugar in his tank?
3
SPEAKER_02
Jesus now we re gonna get full bill burn now at the cafe Now that people now realize that being a homophobic is is a is a stupid thing to do Like I don t think they ll ever understand just the the littlest of the
4
SPEAKER_00
that would just get you gay bashed, even as a straight person.
4
SPEAKER_00
Anything, if you picked up a coffee cup and your pinky was out a little bit.
4
SPEAKER_00
The size of what David was just drinking out of, forget about it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Over.
4
SPEAKER_01
They would even make fun that I m putting lipstick on.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah, you couldn t possibly do that.
4
SPEAKER_00
I just like how you re doing that while having the audacity to have a nice Burt Reynolds mustache.
4
SPEAKER_00
I got a cool beard.
4
SPEAKER_01
God, it s great, it s so sickening.
4
SPEAKER_00
I like it.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s see-through, dude, I don t know what to do.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s very Dwayne Allman, or Greg Allman, I d say.
4
SPEAKER_01
I know, I get compared to people that are horrendous, and that s, you know, it s fine, but I like skin and eye.
4
SPEAKER_01
Listen, I m gonna give Bill, not a compliment.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m gonna ask him a question.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
When you were on, sick of complimenting him.
4
SPEAKER_01
We can give him a compliment.
4
SPEAKER_01
No, he s done.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, maybe not yet.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s gone too far.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
When you go to SNL, because again, you skipped our brutal like crybaby shit about how we were there and we were ignored.
4
SPEAKER_01
by Lauren, but you just went in as a host, so you re the jolly good fellow.
4
SPEAKER_01
Do you, because you re a great writer, do you write sketches or do you just say, I ve got to, do you start the week and go, I ll do my own monologue, I ll worry about that, but you guys write me sketches, or do you say, I want to help write a sketch or anything like that?
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, I ve only done the show once, so I came in there and whatever they wanted to do, I was cool with.
4
SPEAKER_00
And fortunately, they had really funny ideas and I loved the ones that they picked.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it was just like,
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, writing stand up comedy and then writing sketches, two completely, completely different things.
4
SPEAKER_00
I learned that the hard way.
4
SPEAKER_01
I found out, too.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s it s the yeah, it s two completely different things.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I just was, you know, I got some good advice from people like they would come in.
4
SPEAKER_00
All you got to do.
4
SPEAKER_00
You know what?
4
SPEAKER_00
Chris Rock hosted the week before.
4
SPEAKER_00
And when I was in town early enough that I got to watch him do his show.
4
SPEAKER_00
And he told me afterwards, he goes, it s just just go out.
4
SPEAKER_00
and kill the monologue, that s what you have to do, kill the monologue and then you re gonna be working with these sketch actors and they re gonna, they re gonna, as long as you re, Pete Davidson helped me out too, as long as you re cool, as long as you re a cool guy, everyone s gonna help you out if you re being a dick.
4
SPEAKER_00
then that s the treatment you re going to get.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I pretended I was nice, David.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s what I that s tough for six days or however long it was.
4
SPEAKER_01
You had to bluff them.
4
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, you re right.
4
SPEAKER_01
When you got when everybody s good there and everybody you realize that it wants you to do good, it makes them do good, look good.
4
SPEAKER_01
So you put your trust in some some comics would come in and say,
4
SPEAKER_01
like even Dice, but you know, I understand back then they go, I got my own writers and I know what you guys are gonna try to make me do, but we wanna do funny stuff.
4
SPEAKER_01
And already it s like antagonistic.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was gonna say, that s a fun way to enter.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah that s and that doesn t go well because you know I got hired as a writer mostly and you re hiring a guy because I ve got a decent stand-up act basically 25 minutes but I m supposed to write sketches which is a whole 180.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean I did think I had some funny bones to me but it took so long to figure out how to write a sketch it s just a whole different
4
SPEAKER_01
ballgame.
4
SPEAKER_01
And, uh, and then I, like, I liked the one, I was just thinking, I saw one where you were sports guy and you, and you and the bears beat the, you know, you re to explain it at home to sports guys.
4
SPEAKER_01
Keenan is one African-American females, the host, you re the guy saying, Hey, my team beat the shit out of your team.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then what happened was an African-American kid was shot the night before and no one saw the game except you because you re white and you didn t see.
4
SPEAKER_01
And I m thinking, well, I guess Taylor Swift isn t doing this sketch, but I was thinking this is the one Bill would say, give me that one.
4
SPEAKER_01
Or they would write for you and say, someone will come along and do this.
4
SPEAKER_01
And it s interesting that they give you stuff like that because it probably is more exciting.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, what s funny is.
4
SPEAKER_00
is the people that are gonna get offended by that are actually white people who get offended for black people.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s just like, you re nuts.
4
SPEAKER_00
I feel like the white people that are like that, it s because they have such little interaction with anybody else.
4
SPEAKER_00
So they don t understand where or what is funny or what, as long as you re not being malicious.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then the fact that there s,
4
SPEAKER_00
two black people in the sketch.
4
SPEAKER_00
You got to think that what you re doing, they re cool with.
4
SPEAKER_01
They ve never heard the sketch until you re doing it.
4
SPEAKER_01
They re like, what are we doing?
4
SPEAKER_00
They ll come out.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, my God.
4
SPEAKER_00
My heart breaks for Keenan in this sketch, you know, and they ll have their BLM sign in their window, which is my favorite, like laziest white.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m helping you out.
4
SPEAKER_00
Think I got you right.
4
SPEAKER_00
BLM on a piece of copier paper and you put it in your window and you re like and back to my life.
4
SPEAKER_01
And that s fixed.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_00
I am a warrior.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m an ally.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Cause some of those sketches, I mean, obviously it s great.
4
SPEAKER_01
You, you know, everyone there, you got good writing and sketches are.
4
SPEAKER_01
good writing, and when you do good writing, you d hope it s harder to be offended, and especially everyone s in on it.
4
SPEAKER_01
And your stand-up, I do stand-up, and I, you know, every comic s like, or people ask me, oh, we think you re gonna get canceled, you were talking about this, or in your special you talked about pedophiles and this and that, and I go, it s all where it s coming from.
4
SPEAKER_01
If you are angry at another race and yelling and screaming, that is racism.
4
SPEAKER_01
If you re doing jokes or about this or that, everything s coming from a funny place or I think this is funny.
4
SPEAKER_01
There s no hate here.
4
SPEAKER_01
Whatever I m doing about any subject.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m coming to make you laugh.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s so weird when they get so mad about it.
4
SPEAKER_01
I kind of hear what you re saying.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s not a lot of people.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s just that this business acted like 2% was 98% because they listened to their corporate lawyers because I have empathy for people that are
4
SPEAKER_00
are in the industry because if we, if we, if we do stuff and it flops, we got our standup, we got a podcast, whatever.
4
SPEAKER_00
I just was talking to somebody about this.
4
SPEAKER_00
If they do something and it flops, then they lose their job.
4
SPEAKER_00
And they re like, I don t have health insurance.
4
SPEAKER_00
I got this nut I got to pay and my kids in school and shit.
4
SPEAKER_00
So they have to be way more
4
SPEAKER_00
conservative, and I think it s a lot easier for us to be like, hey man, why don t you fucking let me create here, you know?
4
SPEAKER_00
Put your career in the balance.
4
SPEAKER_02
And the trajectory was someone s offensive or starts to get canceled.
4
SPEAKER_02
For me, I just wait and I go, okay, what are the corporations going to do?
4
SPEAKER_02
You have the mob on Twitter, but okay, that s a corporate dropping, dropping.
4
SPEAKER_02
Then it s the agency drops them.
4
SPEAKER_02
And that s, that s how it goes.
4
SPEAKER_02
And then you are sort of on the outs for a while, but it s really up to the agency manager and the corporations and they don t need the headache at a certain point.
4
SPEAKER_00
They don t want to be, you know, well, you don t get, you don t get canceled as much.
4
SPEAKER_00
Like it s like, you can t go book a gig.
4
SPEAKER_00
You get sort of sent back in time in your career.
4
SPEAKER_02
You have to go back in line and have a time where you can get back.
4
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
So, but I ve just,
4
SPEAKER_00
I ve just sort of acted like none of that was happening.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s been my formula on how to get through this perceived difficult time.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s just, you know, there was a lot of bad shit happening that needed to be addressed.
4
SPEAKER_00
And like most of the time, you know, when the cork flies off the bottle, there s an over a correction or whatever.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I think it s starting to go back a little bit.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I don t buy into like certain people like that, you know, that they should never work again.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s like,
4
SPEAKER_00
All right, if you do some Weinstein shit, I understand that.
4
SPEAKER_00
But other stuff, it s just like, there s people getting paroled out of jail every day and are allowed to put their fucking lives back together.
4
SPEAKER_02
So- Yeah, especially when there s no court case, there s no due process, there s no hearing that you can t cancel someone s parole.
4
SPEAKER_02
You re part of the problem, Dana.
4
SPEAKER_02
I know, I judge everyone that I see and they should be canceled.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I don t- I don t even think that it doesn t, I think they ve ran out of people.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think when you re one person on Twitter in the middle of the country and you, it s sort of a power move.
4
SPEAKER_01
You go, I could say this and let s see if I can get some shit started about somebody.
4
SPEAKER_01
Cause I personally didn t like this and I m going to make it a point.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m going to write every company and I m going to write in because that stuff does get noticed.
4
SPEAKER_00
99% of the time, every day it s not happening.
4
SPEAKER_00
I think it, it, in the beginning it happened a lot and then they kind of, you know,
4
SPEAKER_00
got rid of the people that had like the button under their desk that locked the door.
4
SPEAKER_00
All of those fucking lunatics.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, yeah, you get rid of those big, get the big fish out.
4
SPEAKER_01
And then now it s like, it s sort of like, okay, you have to sort of really screw up.
4
SPEAKER_02
I used to do a bit about where did all the cancel people go?
4
SPEAKER_02
Are they on an Island?
4
SPEAKER_02
And I call it predator Island.
4
SPEAKER_02
And Arnold was the host.
4
SPEAKER_02
Welcome to predator Island where we hunt the, you know,
4
SPEAKER_02
there s Harvey Weinstein over there and we go to Racist Lagoon, there s Rosanne Barr and Woody Allen, what are you doing here?
4
SPEAKER_02
Run for the Brambles or lay down ground fire.
4
SPEAKER_02
So it was a long
5
SPEAKER_00
thing, but I started to run out of people.
5
SPEAKER_00
You re right.
5
SPEAKER_02
You know, but the other thing you should do is they should do it almost like survivor and you can win a challenge to get back into mainstream Hollywood.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s a good idea.
5
SPEAKER_00
Charlie Rose and Tom Brokaw have formed a team.
5
SPEAKER_00
This is an alliance.
5
SPEAKER_00
Anything with Arnold s accent is allowed.
5
SPEAKER_00
Here comes dog.
5
SPEAKER_00
He s a racist lagoon.
5
SPEAKER_00
Racist lagoon.
5
SPEAKER_00
And Jesse Smollett on there, too.
5
SPEAKER_02
I mean, you just put everyone in there.
5
SPEAKER_02
You know what I love about that joke is the word lagoon, because I know you picked that word because it s just funny to hear Arnold say it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Lagoon.
5
SPEAKER_00
Racist lagoon.
5
SPEAKER_00
This is Lagoon.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s right.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_00
I like that.
5
SPEAKER_00
And Hulks Mountain.
5
SPEAKER_00
Hulks Mountain.
5
SPEAKER_00
Jussie Smollett on Hulks Mountain.
5
SPEAKER_00
So it s just like it s like Disneyland.
5
SPEAKER_00
Escape from Hulks Mountain.
5
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_02
That that case was so bizarre that that was one of the ones I never did a joke about it because I felt like to be already on TV
5
SPEAKER_02
already making that money already getting that level of attention and then you had to have you had like this this victim fantasy that you paid people acted up like there was like it s like this guy s like mentally ill like that you that you re gonna be like he s a tv star he thinks he s gonna do that i mean that s like when you watch those first 48s and somebody s never committed a crime in their life and then they try to get away with murder
5
SPEAKER_02
And they go like to the local pub.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
Why?
5
SPEAKER_02
Who wants to kill my wife?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
Within two seconds, they get within two seconds.
5
SPEAKER_02
They re talking to an undercover cop.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
They re always Chevy Cavalier.
5
SPEAKER_02
And they re just arrested.
5
SPEAKER_02
And their whole life is over.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m learning, Bill.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m learning that on Craigslist, there s no real hitman anymore.
5
SPEAKER_01
It s all undercover cops.
5
SPEAKER_01
Every time I look for a real hitman, it s just an undercover guy.
5
SPEAKER_01
And I m like, is there any real ones left?
5
SPEAKER_02
I have a friend of mine that is a district attorney and he was telling me how funny it was.
5
SPEAKER_02
He said, he goes, the amount of times in my law career, someone would come in and say, somebody broke into my house or the cops would come with the case.
5
SPEAKER_02
That s right.
5
SPEAKER_02
They would talk to the cops.
5
SPEAKER_02
And then before he was prosecuting, they would come in and they would talk to the cops, say, I think my neighbors took my stuff.
5
SPEAKER_02
And they would be like, all right, what s his name?
5
SPEAKER_02
if if if if if if if if if if if if if
5
SPEAKER_00
Bill, do you ever play this game with your wife?
5
SPEAKER_00
Like, say to your wife, if you were gonna kill me, what would you do?
5
SPEAKER_00
And if I was gonna kill you, this was what I d do, because I told my wife, this is how I would do it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Well, see, I wanna hear what you, but mine was that we would go for a hike, and there would be a steep cliff, and I d just be like, boom, just push her really fast, and then that s it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Now, would you say boom when you pushed her?
5
SPEAKER_00
Is that part of it, too?
5
SPEAKER_00
That was me as a stand-up trying to kill in the room here.
5
SPEAKER_00
Boom!
5
SPEAKER_00
But it s just a little inside joke.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m seeing you as more just a fantasy.
5
SPEAKER_00
If you had to kill someone, say you wanted to get rid of Spade because he stole some of your bits, slow poisoning is my prediction for you.
5
SPEAKER_02
Well, I learned talking to a cop one time.
5
SPEAKER_02
I was doing a podcast and me and the co-host, we tried to come up with the perfect murder.
5
SPEAKER_02
We had an ex-cop on there and he goes, OK, let s hear yours.
5
SPEAKER_02
I go, all right.
5
SPEAKER_01
I love it.
5
SPEAKER_01
He s going to troubleshoot it.
5
SPEAKER_02
So I go, all right.
5
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I go, okay, so me and a buddy of mine get in the car and he goes, that s it.
5
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He goes, you re caught.
5
SPEAKER_02
And I go, what?
5
SPEAKER_02
He goes, you can t, you can t involve somebody else.
5
SPEAKER_02
The second you involve somebody else, somebody s going to get nervous.
5
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Somebody s going to go to the cops.
5
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Somebody s going to talk to try to plea that thing down.
5
SPEAKER_02
I didn t even get out of the gate.
5
SPEAKER_02
So, um, I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_02
I don t think, you know what it is?
5
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I will tell you this.
5
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This is something I don t think I ve ever talked about is like,
5
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I think vengeance is one of the darkest emotions that human beings have.
5
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Oh, yeah.
5
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And I just it scares me.
5
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I think about it sometimes like, you know, somebody ripped me off this fucking year and I thought about doing shit, you know, and it s just like it s just at the end of the day, it s just.
5
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Bad, I don t know, so if I was going to kill David Spade, there s something about there s something so puppyish about David Spade that like.
5
SPEAKER_02
I think I would put them in a bag like kittens, you know?
5
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And then hit me with a rock?
5
SPEAKER_02
No, with rocks in it.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
5
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And I would just throw him over and listen to you as he went over.
5
SPEAKER_00
I didn t mean this literally, but the perfect murder is a good subject.
5
SPEAKER_00
Did the cop ever really say what he s in?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Give me a good one.
5
SPEAKER_00
He throws a gun made of ice cubes or what?
5
SPEAKER_00
What did he say?
5
SPEAKER_00
A gun made of ice cubes that he told the cop that would melt.
5
SPEAKER_00
The weapon would melt.
5
SPEAKER_02
You know, it s kind of irresponsible.
5
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You guys want it because I can tell you he told us.
5
SPEAKER_00
Oh, it s irresponsible because people hear it and no one hears this.
5
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I don t know what he said.
5
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Basically, if you have no priors.
5
SPEAKER_01
Mm hmm.
5
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All right.
5
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If you have no prior convictions and you kill somebody just that you re completely writing this down.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
You re insane.
5
SPEAKER_02
You if you.
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Kill somebody you have no connection to whatsoever and nobody sees you do it.
5
SPEAKER_00
Mm hmm.
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Hard to get caught.
5
SPEAKER_02
I mean, what is it?
5
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There s nothing.
5
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Yeah, there s not.
5
SPEAKER_00
But it s the forensic stuff, though, right?
5
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The evidence, the hairs and the blood.
5
SPEAKER_01
And now it s so many times your film, Bill, like I see these shows sometimes and everyone s filmed everywhere.
5
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They re walking out and they re doing that s true.
5
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There was a guy there was a guy in the fucking valley.
5
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There was a you know, that that music venue, the baked potato.
5
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Yeah.
5
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Famous place where all these like
5
SPEAKER_02
arena level like crazy jazz and studio musicians jam at and right next to it a few blocks up is a recording studio for music and this guy thought that they ripped him off so he went down there on a Sunday and he lit the place on fire not knowing there was people in there and people died from the smoke because they were in the soundproof room.
5
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They had the whole crime on film.
5
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He pulled up to the mobile station
5
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, while everything that s as a keystone cops that s the problem is so much harder
5
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and a
5
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Well, I m gonna go on record and say I m anti-murder.
5
SPEAKER_00
No, we re against it.
5
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But I am fascinated by the subject of crime and also all the cameras.
5
SPEAKER_01
Bill, wait, let me ask Bill, why are so many...
5
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I don t want to say women, but there s a lot of people that watch just these crime shows and they re so into it.
5
SPEAKER_01
And it s the biggest podcast, John, I mean, it s like, uh, you know, the decapitation diaries is beating you this week.
5
SPEAKER_01
I m like, what?
5
SPEAKER_01
That s a whole podcast.
5
SPEAKER_02
My wife says that she watches them because she tries to think like what she would do in that situation, which I kind of go with, but like,
5
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I just can t like, I don t know.
5
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I don t like going to bed watching shit like that.
5
SPEAKER_02
But like, I remember I used to do this bit.
5
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Um, when that Michael Jackson documentary came out and this guy was going, do you see that Michael Jackson documentary?
5
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And I was like, no.
5
SPEAKER_02
And he s like, oh, he s like, you gotta see it.
5
SPEAKER_02
And it s just like, I really don t want to have my entertainment for the evening to be alleged pedophilia testimony.
5
SPEAKER_01
Like I m sitting here eating popcorn.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
5
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And then, and then he touched you a little dangling and I m sitting there with like, you know, eating a hot pocket and like you getting molested as a child.
5
SPEAKER_02
is my entertainment.
5
SPEAKER_02
Like, what can I watch tonight?
5
SPEAKER_02
I could watch Yellowstone, Breaking Bad, or you talking about getting molested as a child.
5
SPEAKER_01
Describe Mr. Jackson s penis.
5
SPEAKER_02
Which, by the way, I got to get
5
SPEAKER_02
I got to get into Yellowstone because everybody is telling me it s just, it s fucking amazing.
5
SPEAKER_02
And I love Kevin Costner, so I got, I got to get into that.
5
SPEAKER_00
Costner s great.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s, it s, it s pretty simple, but it s, it s kind of, it s, you know what I call brain candy.
5
SPEAKER_00
You re out, the scenery is amazing.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s, it s a Cowboys fighting each other.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s just like so easy to watch.
5
SPEAKER_00
I mean, I do sports a lot, especially now NBA is on every night.
5
SPEAKER_00
That s what s your brain candy would be sports, right?
5
SPEAKER_00
So just what, what are you
6
SPEAKER_01
going to watch to calm yourself down from your daily noise in your brain?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I like watching sports and I like music.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I have my garage, I soundproofed it and I bought this beautiful set of Gretsch Broadcaster drums and I just go down there and... Oh, you play?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I just fucking wail on them.
6
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Hi everybody, this is Dana.
6
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By the way, right now we re gonna go on a long tangent, probably 20 minutes, Bill and I and David, about his love of drumming.
6
SPEAKER_01
And he s so excited and so happy.
6
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And I loved it, but it s a little bit technical.
6
SPEAKER_01
But I hope you enjoy it, or you can click off.
6
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Goodbye.
6
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Do you jam to music or just by yourself?
6
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Or does it have a drum track or music you play along with?
6
SPEAKER_00
If I m having a good day, like I sit down and there s actually ideas for the first time ever.
6
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I ve been playing like on and off for 30 years and all I did, my first like 27 years of playing, all I would do was listen to a drum track and then learn how to play it.
6
SPEAKER_00
And it was someday I just finally woke up and I was thinking like, you know, if I did this same approach to stand up comedy, I d be a joke thief.
6
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Like I haven t, I m not playing drums, I m doing drums.
6
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And along the way I met this great drum teacher, Dave Elitch.
6
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And so I like, when I have time, I go, I go play drums with him and we do this and just trading force.
6
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And it s really,
6
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embarrassing at first and really exposes you when you actually have to come up with like your own ideas and you feel stupid.
6
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It was like a lot of like almost took me back to beginning to learning comedy and one of my favorite memories ever of playing drums was in the Netflix comedy festival.
6
SPEAKER_00
I was fortunate enough I got to do a show at the Forum and before the Forum
6
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I did a drum lesson with my teacher in the empty forum, in the round.
6
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
6
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I played a Vista Lite and he had the bottom, the steel kit that he had, the last kit he had before he unfortunately passed away.
6
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And we just jammed in the middle, trading fours.
6
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And what I loved about it,
6
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was Dave has gone on tour with all these big people.
6
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So he s played drums at like, you know, the Cowboy Stadium and everything.
6
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But just to do that and just have fun, dude, he had the biggest grin on his face, like both of us were just sitting at cheese and in the middle of it.
6
SPEAKER_00
And in a lot of ways, it was more fun than the show, because the show it s like I m at work, I m doing a job.
6
SPEAKER_00
And this is pressure of like people have spent money.
6
SPEAKER_00
They got a sitter.
6
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I have to deliver where that was like total freedom of like,
6
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make it ask yourself fall on your face and all of that stuff.
6
SPEAKER_01
So, um, are you, is that, is that like a heavy metal set you ve got?
6
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I mean, a lot of symbols, a lot of Tom s cause no, no, I always been into like Steve Jordan.
6
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Uh, um, I always just loved all the, all the music that he could get out of like a little, like four piece kit, five piece kit.
6
SPEAKER_00
And, uh, when I,
6
SPEAKER_00
You know, at first when I would listen to all the metal and all of that shit, I was into, you know, wanting a double bass kit and having all these drums and all of these synths.
6
SPEAKER_00
Well, Bonham played a small kit.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like, I just wanted to play, like, one of those big, giant kits.
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, massive, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so Spinal Tap kit, right?
6
SPEAKER_00
And then Guns N  Roses came out, and Steven Adler came up and had a four-piece kit.
6
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And if you really go back and listen to Appetite for Destruction,
6
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And just the amount of music and like, it s very rare that there s a drummer that if you took out all the other instruments and you just played the drum track, then a non-musician would know what song it was.
6
SPEAKER_00
Because it s a weird thing where like a guitarist has to play a different riff every time, but you can be a drummer and kind of play the same beat as long as you keep in time.
6
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But the creativity that he had with that little kit
6
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he actually influenced everybody if you watch once he came out and guns and roses hit all of those guys stripped down their kits even the guys with the double base double two double bases they went to like the double pedal except for the thrash guys right now the thrash guys
6
SPEAKER_00
Like that s like, you know, they re like, I always looked at them like, uh, you sound like Pantera and Slayer, that kind of shit.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
They re like the outlaw bikers where it s like, you got to ride a fucking road King.
6
SPEAKER_00
So they got the, they got the big ass, you know, the 24 inch kits, three up, two down or four up or whatever.
6
SPEAKER_00
But, um, yeah, you have the big four of them.
6
SPEAKER_00
And then like Vinnie Paul, rest his soul, man.
6
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Like that guy, um, like just,
6
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the groove that he played because I felt like
6
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I think once you ve got like double bass and all that stuff, like they, it s really hard not to overplay.
6
SPEAKER_00
I felt like a lot of guys, you know, and it s, it s like, you re supposed to be saying something.
6
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You re not supposed to be talking to me like an auctioneer going like a zillion miles an hour.
6
SPEAKER_01
Less choices.
6
SPEAKER_01
Let me ask you a question about, um, you know, uh, Metallica, like they re in their mid fifties and they have all that heavy metal and you watch Lars and stuff and they re doing it.
6
SPEAKER_01
But at some point there, there, there s a fitness aspect to that to be able to,
6
SPEAKER_01
Do that for like an hour.
6
SPEAKER_01
And you re mid 50s.
6
SPEAKER_01
It just seems like it s an athletic thing.
6
SPEAKER_01
They must do a lot to keep their calves in shape, you know, for the drumming.
6
SPEAKER_00
No, it s your technique.
6
SPEAKER_00
If your technique, you do it without trying that hard in a way.
6
SPEAKER_01
Right.
6
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You re so you watch like Buddy Rich.
6
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I watched him last night.
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I watch his solos all the time.
6
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Dana plays.
6
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And I know he plays, he s a great drummer.
6
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Joe Morello.
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These guys, the way they play Dave Brubeck, because I m going back to the classic guys.
6
SPEAKER_00
So light.
6
SPEAKER_00
But their technique was flawless.
6
SPEAKER_00
So the sticks are going a million miles an hour, but their forearms, nothing s tight.
6
SPEAKER_00
Everything s loose.
6
SPEAKER_00
Uh, Steven Adler plays loose.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like if you play like loose and you understand breathing and all of that, that Davey, which has this, I mean, to be his agent, man, he s got this whole great thing on about like, when I started playing drums with him, it was nothing about drumming.
6
SPEAKER_00
It was all about how it was sitting the way I was breathing.
6
SPEAKER_00
If I was holding tension in my jaw or anything like these, like all of that affects.
6
SPEAKER_00
what you re, what you re playing.
6
SPEAKER_00
So like those guys that play super, super fast, those, like some of those guys, like the guy Thomas Hockey, I think is how you say his name, the guy from, from Meshuggah, they got a song called Bleed that s sort of like, I think
6
SPEAKER_00
for this century is sort of like, yeah, the sort of like, I would think like back in the day, remember, there was always a guy like who played guitars, like, dude, there s a guy two towns over that can play eruption.
6
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
6
SPEAKER_00
It s like two towns over.
6
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s always this guy that, you know, he could produce.
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_00
Dude, he sounds just like him.
6
SPEAKER_00
He has a thing, this song called Bleed, and it s it s
6
SPEAKER_00
It s just one, it s a polyrhythmic thing.
6
SPEAKER_00
Danny, you gotta listen to it.
6
SPEAKER_01
What s his name?
6
SPEAKER_01
I ll YouTube it tonight.
6
SPEAKER_00
So, Meshuggah and it s called Bleed.
6
SPEAKER_00
If you ever get a fucking chance to see that band live, like the level of musicianship that is going on
6
SPEAKER_00
is like, uh, I don t even know.
6
SPEAKER_00
And it s still grooves though, because it s not one of those, um, difficult for difficult sake.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s, there s a purpose behind what they re doing.
6
SPEAKER_00
So it s like, it s rooted in the ground.
6
SPEAKER_00
And even the first time you see them, like you, you know, that they re special.
6
SPEAKER_00
And even if it, cause they, they, my ears took me years to catch up to what they were doing, just as far as like what I was listening to.
6
SPEAKER_00
And I think they recently just came around, but I got tinnitus in this ear and it was really acting up and I just couldn t.
6
SPEAKER_00
go see anything loud.
6
SPEAKER_00
I had to kind of like lay off it for a minute.
6
SPEAKER_01
I love hearing you talk about this.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s so cool.
6
SPEAKER_01
You know, because we know you as a comedian, but your passion around this is like pal, you know, it s like, well, fun to have something else.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I love it too.
6
SPEAKER_01
I, I ve, I did some jamming in high school in my twenties and thirties with a little band and stuff.
6
SPEAKER_01
It s so much fun, much better than comedy.
6
SPEAKER_00
It s just the, it is, you know what I like about it.
6
SPEAKER_00
I like to like, I always wish I had that experience of like a band
6
SPEAKER_00
having to win over a crowd, like I ve done that as a comedian and it makes you feel good, it makes you feel strong, but it s a solitary thing.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like I would just think if you got up there and the crowd was like booing you or whatever and the guitarist just gave you a look, almost like a quarterback, just kind of gives a wide receiver a look and the guy knows that whatever I said in the huddle, fuck that, just take off, I m gonna throw you one.
6
SPEAKER_00
Like to have a guitarist look at you like that and you know that you guys are locked in,
7
SPEAKER_02
fuck these guys and you win them over like that sort of like you know almost like like a band of brothers like a military thing I just think like that experience I remember seeing that like one of AC DC s drummers it wasn t Phil Rudd I think it was Simon Wright they were asking what s it like playing those songs every night he goes you know sometimes you get tired but you know he goes Angus just gives you a look and it s just like all right man Angus gave me the look like I m not gonna
7
SPEAKER_02
Like I just, I get like, uh, can t explain it, man.
7
SPEAKER_02
When I read stories like that, I think it might be the sports background.
7
SPEAKER_02
I, yeah, I get like amped up.
7
SPEAKER_02
Like I want to have a good show or something like that.
7
SPEAKER_01
I was in New York doing a benefit long story, but I ended up playing with, uh, it was Lou Reed and it was take a walk on the wild side.
7
SPEAKER_01
It was all comedy band, but I was the drummer.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I didn t have a monitor, and I was just trying to get the groove.
7
SPEAKER_01
I didn t have a monitor.
7
SPEAKER_01
And then after the rehearsal, Lou Reed looks at me.
7
SPEAKER_01
He s kind of an intimidating guy.
7
SPEAKER_01
He goes, don t do that.
7
SPEAKER_01
Whatever you re doing, don t do that.
7
SPEAKER_01
I go, Lou, I can t hear myself.
7
SPEAKER_01
But they did get a little monitor for me.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I wrote, oh, yeah, it s not a hard beat, but if you can t hear it, you want to be what do you think you were doing, trying to throw it?
7
SPEAKER_01
I just don t.
7
SPEAKER_01
I think I was slightly off time because I, you know, I couldn t hear you.
7
SPEAKER_01
That s the worst.
7
SPEAKER_02
And what I do is I just I just look at whoever s out in front of me.
7
SPEAKER_02
I just look where they re tapping their foot.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s like you re underwater.
7
SPEAKER_02
You can t even hear what they re doing.
7
SPEAKER_02
And then you just kind of like.
7
SPEAKER_02
and
7
SPEAKER_02
And hopefully somebody turns around and you re like, dude, I can t hear you guys.
7
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
7
SPEAKER_00
You can t hear behind it.
7
SPEAKER_01
Ringo said he would just watch Paul McCartney s ass.
7
SPEAKER_01
Cause Paul would kind of wiggle it.
7
SPEAKER_01
He said, and that was his way of keeping time.
7
SPEAKER_01
He couldn t hear anything.
7
SPEAKER_01
They had no monitors and anyway.
7
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
7
SPEAKER_01
That s so cool.
7
SPEAKER_01
I love, I love that.
7
SPEAKER_01
Hey, let s do this thing where we say we re going to get together and have dinner and then it won t happen.
7
SPEAKER_02
Why don t we get together and jam?
7
SPEAKER_02
You play like every instrument, don t you Dana?
7
SPEAKER_01
Very rudimentarily.
7
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I don t have a drum set down here.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s up in the garage in Marin County.
7
SPEAKER_01
So I drum on my laptop all the time and I play acoustic guitar and I m drumming with my right hand basically.
7
SPEAKER_01
And I have a keyboard.
7
SPEAKER_01
I m very rudimentary, but I do love it.
7
SPEAKER_02
I have a good, a fun triplet workout.
7
SPEAKER_02
to do that, it helps your bass drum speed, it also helps you to kind of go around the kit and get more comfortable with that.
7
SPEAKER_01
Well you kept going, you seem like you re great, but you could probably use just a good blues bass player, just someone to play with you.
7
SPEAKER_02
No, listen, I m good for a father of two.
7
SPEAKER_02
That s about as good as I am.
7
SPEAKER_01
But dad, dad s playing the drums in the garage is pretty hip for a kid.
7
SPEAKER_00
But you like Zeppelin.
7
SPEAKER_00
You like ACD.
7
SPEAKER_00
I saw ACDC at your precious Foxborough.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s great.
7
SPEAKER_01
Ramstein.
7
SPEAKER_01
Ramstein s very entertaining.
7
SPEAKER_01
The German heavy metal band.
7
SPEAKER_02
I don t, I haven t seen them.
7
SPEAKER_02
I like, uh, Oh Dana.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
I like, I always forget his name, but the drummer, um,
7
SPEAKER_02
James Gadsden, is that his name?
7
SPEAKER_02
Who s the guy, the drummer for Bill Withers is another guy that I love.
7
SPEAKER_01
That swing.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I feel like I have like a, like it goes like, and then, you know, I ve been going to the gym and if this one guy is at the front desk, because whoever s at the front desk controls the music, he s been playing a lot of like,
7
SPEAKER_02
Cardi B and hip hop and stuff and like the drum tracks are so much fun to like, I just listen to them like I wish I had that on a loop and I could just play fills over it and just sort of do those on like a loop or something like that.
7
SPEAKER_02
I basically do comedy so I can afford to buy drums.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
Wow, that s a huge statement.
7
SPEAKER_00
It s so fun to have something to like look forward to and think and then you get money and when you meet bands you love
7
SPEAKER_02
maybe to talk to their drummer or maybe just talk to the band and then you also, they might know you now, which isn t, you know, as a, you know, as a killer fucking drummer and I, I m going to space on his name cause I m old is a band, uh, uh, uh, uh, Russian circles.
7
SPEAKER_02
That s an absolute beast.
7
SPEAKER_02
of a drummer and he, uh, this to some, I, somebody sent me a clip of him and it was what I loved was his, uh, his use of dynamics, which I feel like in all facets of life with how loud you have to be to get attention now.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
Um, I just feel like dynamics is kind of, is like a lost art and it was another thing where he had this little kid and the amount of music he was getting out of this thing was insane.
7
SPEAKER_02
Um, John Theodore is another guy.
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that I love all the way back with Mars Volta right through.
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Yeah.
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All the stuff that he s doing now with Queens.
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Well, at the end of the day, I tell people it s kind of the kick drum, the snare and the hi-hat.
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I mean, there s a lot more to it, but if you can master that and all the machinations of that.
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Cozy Powell was a big one from the 70s and he was Mr. Hi-hat, you know, doing all this hi-hat work.
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I gotta, I gotta give the, where the fuck is my phone?
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There s these kids that I listen to on, on, on the Instagram there.
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I don t have my damn phone.
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Where the hell is it?
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Oh, well.
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Oh, I m on my phone.
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Old dad, old dad right here.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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There s these guys that I listened to.
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Um, so Ringo or, or Charlie Watts, that would, that would be a question for me and Bobby Slate would hash that one out.
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Oh, for me, that s not, it s not a question.
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I go, I go Ringo.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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Me too.
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Or Bonham.
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Two different animals.
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Two different worlds, the best in one world and the best in the other world.
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Yeah, that s like zebra or mongoose.
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I mean, that s I think Ringo, because we had Paul on our podcast and, you know, we talked about just just car stereos and remastering some of the Beatles stuff.
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So you really heard the bass and you heard Ringo s kick drum and you heard how they syncopated together.
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And it s really fun.
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And that was not around in the 60s on a transistor radio and the way they had to mix them in mono.
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They couldn t have that heavy, heavy bottom in there.
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So he became Bonham is one of the more one of the more
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misunderstood drummers out there.
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How is he misunderstood?
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Because he s kind of number one with most people, you know, because when people are.
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Because his sound was so big, your eyes lie to you when you watch him, when you watch him play, it s so big, your your brain tells you he s he s doing this and he isn t.
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Yeah, he s all like wrists and fingers.
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He just.
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, and all that was led zeppelin and ,
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And now I m looking at it going, I think he plays with like a 5A, which is like a number two pencil.
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A light little stick.
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Well, the value of his drum.
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Who set up those drums?
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Because his kick drum and snare, that relationship is like nothing I ve ever heard anyone get.
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And it s so potent.
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And you re right.
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I think there s a lot of muscularity just built into that, that you don t have.
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It s that Ocaltree guy.
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He does a whole thing on how he used to tune up his drums.
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But Bonham had a big
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Part in that like he wasn t just one of those hey tune up my drums, and I ll sit down and play him like he had he had that 26 inch kit Kick, and he all he would have he had nothing in it And there was just like a piece of felt either on the batter side or or the or the what the resident side yeah, and and he just knew how to hit it and push all that air but
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That was another thing too was everybody thought you had to get all these big drums to sound big but like they didn t know how to mic drums when he came up and the amps just kept getting bigger and bigger so the drums got bigger so you could be heard and then you know by the end of it like I kind of you know what s funny is I actually bought
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the green sparkle John Bonham drum kit at one point.
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I actually owned one of those with the big 26 inch kit.
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And it was really difficult for me to play.
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Like going from the rack to the floor, Tom, it was like skipping a subway stop.
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And then I finally dawned on me.
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I was just like, this kit worked for him.
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I m not him.
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So I sold the whole thing.
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And that s when I got the Gretsch Broadcaster.
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I got a little 22 inch kit.
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And I like them low.
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I like low drums close to each other and tilted in a way that it s all right there rather than reaching all the time.
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That s a whole other skill set when you re out there all the time.
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But Bill, when you see guys, like a lot of guys put their hair into it.
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So you don t know how hard they re hitting, like Grohl or Taylor Hawkins.
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It was like, wham.
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And it looks so hard, but you don t know.
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Is it more head movement or is it more really?
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Dave Grohl, I ll tell you, underrated.
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It is his work with Killing Joke, and there s a song called the Death and Resurrection Show where he plays and he s playing sixteenths.
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on the hi-hat, which it s two hands, but like I had a buddy of mine, you know, better ears than my, he goes, no, dude, that s one hand.
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I m like, what the fuck?
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And it is just the perfect sickest beat.
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And I m killing myself that I, I never, when he was playing with, uh, he took a break from Foo Fighters and he went on tour with Queens of the Stone Age.
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There s a great, um, they just, of course,
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They never run the fucking drummer when he s playing, even when he s playing a goddamn solo, they re still fucking going out to the crowd.
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So they had, they have a song called the song for the death and, um, grow plays like this, just perfect, perfect solo in the beginning of it.
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And it s just that, you know, this space is power.
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It just like, if you watch that solo and you don t want to learn how to play drums, this union, you re not alive.
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So there s this great clip of him playing that.
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And I got to see him play when they were in I saw him at the Wiltern when they were in Them Crooked Vultures, which was John Paul Jones from Led Zeppelin, Dave Grohl and Josh Homme from Queens of the Stone Age.
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And then they had this hired gun to sort of do the Malcolm Rhythm guitar when they went out on tour.
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And oh, my God, that was one of the I remember after the first song,
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My wife looked over at me and she s like, she was like, that guy s really good on drums.
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I m like, yeah, I think that guy might have a future.
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Yeah.
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Just the stuff he did with Nirvana just beginning there was so perfect.
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You know, he s musical.
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I also thought when I was a fan of his, but when I really became a fan was when they did Unplugged and he had to bring that all down, but still drive the song.
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And he did it so effortlessly.
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When I watched it, I was just like, oh, wow, this guy is
8
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So I got to be honest with you, as much as I like the Foo Fighters, I actually don t like them because it took one of my favorite drummers.
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I mean, I love the Foo Fighters and I have like, you know, fucking 10 of their albums.
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But like, there s a part of me like going like.
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Fuck, I wish this band was a little less successful so I could watch them play drums a little bit more.
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Well, Bill, let s let Bill go.
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He s been a fucking stud.
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Thank you, buddy.
8
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So much fun.
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So much fun.
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Really fascinated.
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All right.
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Well, look at that.
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Who would have thought we went from comedy to like.
8
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being old dads at Guitar Center.
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I ll talk about music anytime.
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We have a lot of, I love it.
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All right.
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Well, let s do the obligatory.
8
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We re all going to get dinner.
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Let s do it.
8
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And then it ll be just me and Bill, but I will tell Dana after that we went.
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And let s do the awkward sign off where it s a little kind of, oh.
8
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We all lean in and look proud.
8
SPEAKER_02
It says leave and you see the other person s still on and it s all awkward.
8
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Or I hear you two guys start to talk and I m like, did I just hang up on you?
8
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Yeah, do that.
8
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Let s do that.
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Well, I miss you, Bill.
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And I like you more than Dana does.
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Anyway, I got to go.
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Okay, I ll talk to you.
8
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All right, fellow drummer.
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I felt I connected more with Dana.
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I m sorry, David.
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It s over between you and me.
8
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Bye.
8
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Hey, what s up, flies?
8
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What s up, fleas?
8
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What s up, people that listen?
8
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We want to hear from you and your dumb questions.
8
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Questions, ask us anything.
8
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Anything you want.
8
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You can email us at flyonthewallatcadence13.com.
8
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Okay, so we have a question from Tina Palmer.
8
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Thank you for the question, Tina.
8
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Let s read it.
8
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I absolutely love your podcast.
8
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It s the only one I listen to on a regular basis.
8
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Thank you.
8
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It s so fun and always makes me smile.
8
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I like when they put more overstuff, more comments at the beginning.
8
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It s a good way to get it picked, though.
8
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I have to say that we don t see these ahead of time.
8
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This is our producer, Greg Holtzman, who picks them, but it does seem a little self-congratulatory.
8
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Hey, David, I just found a letter from one of our fans asking a question.
8
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I absolutely love your podcast.
8
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I don t know why I like this one.
8
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I only listen to it on... It s the only one I listen to on a regular basis.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s so fun and always makes me smile.
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Okay.
8
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You know, we need a compliments hotline.
8
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Yeah, because I m down a lot.
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Okay, go ahead.
8
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All right, so here s the question for you.
8
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SNL has had so many amazing commercial parodies over the years.
8
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Which ones were your favorites?
8
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My all-time favorite, Schmitz Gay.
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Adam and Chris were hilarious.
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I remember that one.
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I remember that one.
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That was great.
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That s their- Couldn t do it today.
8
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First of all, a quick story.
8
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Schmitz Gay, I think I was in for about a couple of days, and then they switched it.
8
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I was looking through some commercial parodies this morning.
8
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You were in a lot of them.
8
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I did, I think Smigel wrote Schmitzke, and I think he switched it from me and Farley to Adam and Farley.
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And I was like, oh, cause it was, I knew it was so funny.
8
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And they put that Van Halen music in.
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That was such a funny commercial.
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There s so many good ones.
8
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Colin Blow.
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Colin Blow, Phil Hartman, I think Al Franken wrote that, was just something that stood out in people s minds.
8
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People talked about that for a while.
8
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The Bad Idea Jeans was one that I still hear about.
8
SPEAKER_01
I didn t write it.
8
SPEAKER_01
You were in that one, right?
8
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Yeah, I was in that one.
8
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Yeah, that was funny.
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I saw that.
8
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Great.
8
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Mom Jeans.
8
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Mom Jeans are always funny.
8
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Mom Jeans, was it Tina Fey?
8
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Abs, Tina, Maya, Amy, Rachel, just mom jeans, sort of high-waisted and puffy, kind of like giving off the vibe of business is closed here.
8
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Yeah, we, you know, there s three legged jeans, leg and a leg, leg, three at last.
8
SPEAKER_01
By the way, the songs they come up with are so funny.
8
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Everything about the, what about the car that
8
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Looks crappy, so you could- a luxury car you could drive into a bad neighborhood.
8
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Make the outside look shitty.
8
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There s so many.
8
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How about the car you can fuck?
8
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Remember that one?
8
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And it s so beautiful.
8
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And God, I can t think of, there s so many.
8
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There s, Lovitz did one with Phil and others where it was a trap door in Neyland.
8
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Just a business guy who had a malfunctioning trap door.
8
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So sometimes you d go in it and you had to climb out or it d launch you, you know.
8
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Well, too, cause I was, you know, early on you write a lot of commercial parodies because it s a good way to get on the show.
8
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It s sort of a backdoor.
8
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The two I wrote I liked were, there was Salon, the Vidal Sassoon shampoo.
8
SPEAKER_02
Did that get made?
8
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That got made.
8
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That was on Hibernal, Salon Finish, Salon Shine.
8
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It was the guy in the commercial saying salon if you say it right it makes your hair better.
8
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Salon.
8
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Salon.
8
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And then there was a Hibernal, yeah it was like a
8
SPEAKER_01
It was like a NyQuil commercial with Farley where he, if you want to sleep through all of cold and flu season, you sleep for four months.
8
SPEAKER_01
And Farley wakes up, who won the Superbowl?
8
SPEAKER_01
But he s got a beard now and nails.
8
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And he was mad because I was on the set.
8
SPEAKER_01
And he s like, do I have to put all these fucking nails?
8
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I m like, oh, relax.
8
SPEAKER_01
You re going to be here eight hours anyway.
8
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So they put a wig on him, Julius Sweeney was in it.
8
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And then, oh, Chia Head, I wrote, that was one of the first things I wrote.
8
SPEAKER_02
Oh yeah?
8
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I remember that one.
8
SPEAKER_01
And you know, that was one of the ones that turned into a real product about 10 years later.
8
SPEAKER_01
They made Chia Head.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, exact same box, everything.
8
SPEAKER_01
But it was like, you put President Obama and you put the seeds on and then.
8
SPEAKER_02
Oh, so they took that idea?
8
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I mean, I don t know, I guess.
8
SPEAKER_01
But yeah, I think those, they used to do specials.
8
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They d have a commercial parody special on primetime.
8
SPEAKER_02
The driest one that Jim Downey wrote was called Change Bank.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s so droll and so dry.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s just them saying how they could,
8
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All they do is make change for you.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, one of these days we ll put clips up.
8
SPEAKER_01
I mean, you can look them up, all these ones we re saying, but we got to get some clips in here because it s hysterical.
8
SPEAKER_01
Thank you for that question.
8
SPEAKER_02
Thank you.
8
SPEAKER_02
And thank you for the compliments because we really need them.
8
SPEAKER_02
We re hanging by a thread here.
8
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We don t know if we re going to get canceled.
8
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This has been a podcast presentation of Cadence 13.
8
SPEAKER_01
Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes.
8
SPEAKER_01
Available now for free wherever you get your podcasts.
8
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No joke, folks.
8
SPEAKER_02
Fly on the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13, executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corcoran of Cadence 13, and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment.
8
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The show s lead producer is Greg Holtzman, with production and engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Basil of Cadence 13.