0
SPEAKER_00
Welcome to the Tony Robbins Podcast.
0
SPEAKER_00
This episode is part of a special series of fireside chats that Tony and Sage Robbins created just for the holiday season to share key messages of support during this unique time.
0
SPEAKER_00
To watch the video of this episode, go to TonyRobbins.com slash holiday and check back there and here on the podcast for future episodes coming soon.
0
SPEAKER_02
Hello there, everyone.
0
SPEAKER_02
It s Sage and Tony.
0
SPEAKER_01
Nice to see you all.
0
SPEAKER_01
Listen, we want to be a blessing to you in this season during a time of such uncertainty.
0
SPEAKER_01
And we just thought we d share from our experience what s been happening and find out if there s some ways in which you can take this time that we have here, this COVID time, this time of uncertainty and fear and a lot of frustration and anger, and see if we can t convert it into something that s helpful for you.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yes, definitely.
0
SPEAKER_02
And just from our home and hearts to yours, you know, we ve all been navigating such a unique time of life.
0
SPEAKER_02
And for our own selves, individually and collectively, there s just been such a tremendous amount of growth and insight and just learning through this time.
0
SPEAKER_02
And so we thought that we d share some of our own experience.
0
SPEAKER_01
So it s kind of like a fireside chat.
0
SPEAKER_01
The last time our country was in this kind of shape was probably in the 30s and 40s.
0
SPEAKER_01
And we had an amazing leader then called FDR who had these fireside chats.
0
SPEAKER_01
90% of the country had a radio at that time.
0
SPEAKER_01
Today, 96% of people have a cell phone.
0
SPEAKER_01
And instead of being unified and watching all the same things and having a collective experience, now we re all kind of separated.
0
SPEAKER_01
And we can see it in division in our culture.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then, of course, now with that fear and that uncertainty, it s being magnified by social media without bad intent.
0
SPEAKER_01
But if you ve seen something like The Social Dilemma, or if you ve read any of the books about what actually happens today,
0
SPEAKER_01
Social media actually reinforces us to believe the things we already believe and kind of demonize the opposite, because the longer they keep us online, the more money that s being made.
0
SPEAKER_01
And so we thought, you know, maybe we can punch through together and just take a few minutes and consider some simple things that could perhaps help us get rid of some of the pain, because we re desperately needing some form of unity, some form of connection, so much more humanity, some kindness in the world.
0
SPEAKER_01
And so we thought maybe our conversation, maybe we have a couple of real brief conversations with you.
0
SPEAKER_01
And hopefully they ve been helpful for you.
0
SPEAKER_01
They ve been helpful for us and for our family as well.
0
SPEAKER_01
I think a way to think about this is that everyone s brought to their knees by COVID, right?
0
SPEAKER_01
Unless you re selling toilet paper or you re Amazon, you probably have had a pretty rough time there.
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t care who you are.
0
SPEAKER_01
And we have kids that are at home.
0
SPEAKER_01
We re trying to take care of our kids and be teachers and run our lives.
0
SPEAKER_01
And many of us have been separated from our mission and our work in some ways.
0
SPEAKER_01
We re in a place where if we have
0
SPEAKER_01
family, which we do that are in their 70s or 80s, very often what happens is those people have been separated out and can t even be next to them or connect to them.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s a wild time.
0
SPEAKER_01
Never did we ever dream in a million years back in February, we were all together.
0
SPEAKER_01
We had my wife produced an unbelievable 60th birthday party and we used it
0
SPEAKER_01
to really serve and raised, at the time, $19 million for Underground Railroad.
0
SPEAKER_01
And so, you know, we were in this flow about to do our big event as usual, and somebody called me up and I couldn t even believe it.
0
SPEAKER_01
They said, are you going to cancel the Unleash the Power Then event in San Francisco, which is like five days later.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I said, are you kidding me?
0
SPEAKER_01
I ve never canceled an event.
0
SPEAKER_01
Last year, I had mercury poisoning.
0
SPEAKER_01
They rushed me to the hospital, and I told the doctor, I m leaving the hospital, I ve got to finish the seminar.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I did it in a wheelchair.
0
SPEAKER_01
So who could have guessed that the government around the world would suddenly stop us from being able to connect?
0
SPEAKER_01
And so it s had an effect on everybody.
0
SPEAKER_01
And the effect has been deeper than just COVID.
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if you ve seen, but the United Nations is now talking about there s a doubling of hunger around the world.
0
SPEAKER_01
There s 250 million people that will likely die of hunger because there are many countries that they rely upon tourism for 50, 60, 70, some of them 80% of their money.
0
SPEAKER_01
They don t have money for food.
0
SPEAKER_01
In our own country, the lockdowns have had an impact.
0
SPEAKER_01
And that impact is not just the separation of us and the fear that s happened there, but right now we re seeing people all over the world, all over the United States at least,
0
SPEAKER_01
Turning to drugs and alcohol like never before the overdoses in Oregon just in the first few months were up 70% from drug overdoses to give you perspective or You know an unbelievable number of people with opioid overuse once again there s I read in Journal American Medical Association USA Today did an article on it showing that women today are
0
SPEAKER_01
are binge drinking 41% more than they ever have to try to cope with things.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then, to me, the scariest one of all, maybe, or at least up there with the hunger, is one out of four young people, again, according to the CDC,
0
SPEAKER_01
has considered suicide in the last three months.
0
SPEAKER_01
What that says is we don t have a compelling future.
0
SPEAKER_01
You know, when things are great, people think they re gonna be great forever, and they don t prepare.
0
SPEAKER_01
And when things are bad, human beings think it s gonna be bad forever, and it s just not true.
0
SPEAKER_01
Life is cyclical, and history is cyclical if you study it.
0
SPEAKER_01
You know, what always follows the night, thank God, is the daytime, right?
0
SPEAKER_01
What follows, you know, winter is a spring, and we re in winter, and it s not gonna just disappear.
0
SPEAKER_01
So I thought maybe we could plant some seeds about the process, because anytime we go through loss, a death, or a family issue, or maybe loss of a job or career, we re all going to experience extreme stress in our life.
0
SPEAKER_01
Nobody escapes it.
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t care how smart you are, how heartfelt you are, how spiritual, how much money you have, how intelligent you think you are.
0
SPEAKER_01
We all are going to experience this extreme stress outside of COVID.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s going to happen in our lives.
0
SPEAKER_01
We re going to have family members that are diagnosed
0
SPEAKER_01
a debilitating disease, or in some cases, telling them that they re terminal.
0
SPEAKER_01
We re going to have experiences of losing jobs, of losing businesses.
0
SPEAKER_01
We re going to have all these things happen.
0
SPEAKER_01
We re going to have crimes that occur.
0
SPEAKER_01
Aren t you glad you tuned into this happy moment?
0
SPEAKER_01
But what I want to get is, when we go through those times, if we can make it through them, and we can,
0
SPEAKER_01
Three things happen.
0
SPEAKER_01
Number one, you start to realize when you experience severe stress and you push through it, you begin to realize how strong you really are.
0
SPEAKER_01
And that is something you take into the next year or the next decade, the next stage of your life.
0
SPEAKER_01
And it makes everything richer where you can help others and help yourself.
0
SPEAKER_01
And if you can push through those incredibly tough times, the other thing that you discover is who are your real friends?
0
SPEAKER_01
Because, you know, when it s the tough times, you know, you get to see who sticks around and who takes off, who s there to support, who s just into themselves.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then third thing that you learn when you go through extreme stress is you really start to develop almost like a protection.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s like people I know, I have a friend that was in Vietnam, you know, decades and decades ago, was locked in a Vietnamese prison where he was abused over and over again, tied to the ground, beat for seven years.
0
SPEAKER_01
We came back and nothing bothers him now.
0
SPEAKER_01
So the IRS is coming after him.
0
SPEAKER_01
I ll give you your best shot.
0
SPEAKER_01
If the North Korean and the Vietnamese can t get me, then you re not going to be able to get it.
0
SPEAKER_01
So there s a power in going through stress.
0
SPEAKER_01
And the goal is to learn how to use stress instead of let stress use you.
0
SPEAKER_01
And so one way to help you do that is I m sure you ve heard that when people go through a major loss, there is kind of a pattern, like say the loss of death, loss of a business, loss of anything.
0
SPEAKER_01
And the first stage almost always is that stage of like shock.
0
SPEAKER_01
Like, you know, what came to us was like, suddenly we can t help people the time they need us most.
0
SPEAKER_01
And every country started shutting us down, all over the United States, and Moscow, and London, and Sydney, Australia, and Amsterdam, down in Peru.
0
SPEAKER_01
Suddenly everything was canceled.
0
SPEAKER_01
And the first response was just shock.
0
SPEAKER_01
Like, this can t be.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then the second stage we tend to go through after the shock wears off is, you know, this anger or frustration, like, not like, it s impossible, it s not just shock, it can t be, there s this feeling inside of us that it s not right, it s not fair.
0
SPEAKER_01
And of course, life isn t fair all the time, obviously.
0
SPEAKER_01
It can be more than fair at times, and other times, not so much.
0
SPEAKER_01
In the eyes of us as the beholder, looking in the moment instead of the long-term of what it means.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then after you go through that, there s usually a period of deep sadness that comes from loss.
0
SPEAKER_01
Some people get depressed.
0
SPEAKER_01
Some people, by the way, get stuck in these stages for a long time.
0
SPEAKER_01
But if you can get over the shock, and if you can get over the anger, and you can experience some of the loss and feel it, then eventually you ll get to a point where you start to bargain.
0
SPEAKER_01
Like, okay, what if I do this, God, will you do that?
0
SPEAKER_01
Or, you know, you think about in your life or your business, it s just like, it s still trying to make the old come back.
0
SPEAKER_01
But the old really doesn t.
0
SPEAKER_01
And so what we eventually have to do is get to acceptance.
0
SPEAKER_01
Now, I m an achiever like you.
0
SPEAKER_01
My guess is your acceptance, it s not right.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m not gonna accept it.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, I don t accept what it s right, but I accept that it is and therefore we have to deal with it.
0
SPEAKER_01
And when you get to acceptance, there is a release of pain.
0
SPEAKER_01
And most people don t even make it there.
0
SPEAKER_01
They stay in pain so long.
0
SPEAKER_01
But if you make it there, I think there s a sixth step that no one talks about.
0
SPEAKER_01
And that s the step of creation, which is why we re here today.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s like, if you can let go of the past and not try to reignite and create the same thing, we can never be better than it was.
0
SPEAKER_01
But in order to make it better, we got to let go of what was so we can brand new create what is.
0
SPEAKER_01
And so for us, you know, instead of sitting there and saying, oh my God, we can t help anybody.
0
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, we kept trying different things.
0
SPEAKER_01
We kept moving dates.
0
SPEAKER_01
We d call governors and say, you know, when s the date we can really count on?
0
SPEAKER_01
And they d tell us.
0
SPEAKER_01
And, of course, things changed and the dates didn t work and kept changing and changing.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then it was like, OK.
1
SPEAKER_00
We re going to do this in movie theaters.
1
SPEAKER_00
We ll do 1,000 movie theaters.
1
SPEAKER_00
You remember, I was excited.
1
SPEAKER_00
Big screens, and won t be in person, but it ll be smaller groups.
1
SPEAKER_00
We ll reach everybody.
1
SPEAKER_00
We ll help them.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then they shut down movie theaters.
1
SPEAKER_00
Then we ll go to churches, and they shut down churches.
1
SPEAKER_00
Then, you know, we can go anywhere.
1
SPEAKER_00
It could only be 10 people with masks.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so I finally said the thing I said I d never do is do this in people s homes because, you know, you go to an event, if you ve ever been to an event, it s like a rock and roll concert for 12, 14 hours a day for three or four days in a row.
1
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it s incredible.
1
SPEAKER_00
How are you going to do that in somebody s home with some, you know, little computer?
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t want to do some, you know, old man s, you know, kind of webinar or something.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so we went to the creation stage.
1
SPEAKER_00
We said, okay, we have to help people.
1
SPEAKER_00
This is our mission.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so we started to create.
1
SPEAKER_00
And that s what I m hoping you re about to do.
1
SPEAKER_00
And if you re not, if you can see what stage you re in, are you in the stage of acceptance yet?
1
SPEAKER_00
Have you gone through the shock and have you gone through the anger and the sadness and have you stopped bargaining?
1
SPEAKER_00
Have you accepted?
1
SPEAKER_00
I may not appreciate it.
1
SPEAKER_00
I might not even agree with what people have done, but it is what it is.
1
SPEAKER_00
So here s what I m going to do now with it.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s the moment when life can change.
1
SPEAKER_00
And that s the moment when you have to pivot or find a new way or explore new options or move on to something new.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I started looking around.
1
SPEAKER_00
Go ahead.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_01
Just because a lot of times at that time, it s, you know, the grief comes from the loss of what was, you know, and the acceptance comes from the recognition of what is, you know, and creation comes from the place of recognizing what we actually can do, how we can touch life deeper.
1
SPEAKER_01
And a lot of times, you know, I was thinking of our own inner dialogue or my own inner dialogue, like Tony had mentioned, will we ever be able to, you know, serve again?
1
SPEAKER_01
Will we ever be able to do a live event again?
1
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, you have these internal narratives, but it s through that place of acceptance of what is, there sparks the, you know, when something dies, there s also the birth of the new.
1
SPEAKER_01
And a lot of times when we re only focused here, this way, that direction on what was and what can never be again, it doesn t- Or what was missing versus what you have.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then the fear of the future of, oh my gosh, what if this?
1
SPEAKER_01
What if that?
1
SPEAKER_01
Rather than just this moment of recognizing what is and seeing how we can connect to life.
1
SPEAKER_01
And in that place of creation, there s conviction.
1
SPEAKER_01
In that place of conviction, there s determination.
1
SPEAKER_01
There s unity of a team coming together.
1
SPEAKER_01
I think of this time as much as it was painful and uncomfortable and uncertain, there was beauty in it.
1
SPEAKER_01
There was beauty in it because of the willing hearts to not give up.
1
SPEAKER_01
and to see it through and to see the birth of something new, rather than just keeping the focus on the death of what was.
1
SPEAKER_01
And trust me, we were there, you know, and in all the uncertainties of what does this mean?
1
SPEAKER_01
But there s also, you know, what does this mean?
1
SPEAKER_01
There s a higher meaning and finding the gift in it, finding the blessing in it.
1
SPEAKER_01
And that s part of why we re here today to just share some of our own, just gifts and blessings from this whole process.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I think that if you think about it as so many people have gotten caught up in making a living that they don t design their life, and now the life they had is not there.
1
SPEAKER_00
They didn t really design it anyway, but there s this sense of what I m missing instead of this is the moment to recreate.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know, it s like I always tell people we re not managers of our circumstances.
1
SPEAKER_00
We re the creator of our lives.
1
SPEAKER_00
We ve been given that gift by our creator, by the universe.
1
SPEAKER_00
So here s what we did.
1
SPEAKER_00
We said, okay, what did I say I would never do?
1
SPEAKER_00
And that s one of the things I teach people.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s like, if you really want to achieve what you really want, you got to write down everything you wouldn t be willing to do to achieve it, and then look at each one and go, I m willing to do that.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then you probably won t have to do them all.
1
SPEAKER_00
But that willingness to do whatever it takes will free you.
1
SPEAKER_00
It ll get you out of the box.
1
SPEAKER_00
It ll allow you to become the creator instead of the manager of the circumstances.
1
SPEAKER_00
So long story short, I won t tell you the whole story, but I said, okay, we re going to do these in homes.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m not going to do it this way.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I m looking for any avenue.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I went to this one organization and they said, well, we ll show you how you can do this.
1
SPEAKER_00
And they had like six 52 inch little screens on this little square.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, this is not a stadium.
1
SPEAKER_00
This is not going to, people aren t going to feel this.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so I took out a tape recorder with my team and I said, here s what we re going to do.
1
SPEAKER_00
We re going to find a building with like 40 foot high ceilings and I ll build a 16 foot high, 50 foot wide curved, you know,
1
SPEAKER_00
LED walls that have like, I wanna make it so that it s the same quality as looking at your phone so we can really see and feel each other.
1
SPEAKER_00
I wanna see 180 degrees in front of me and behind me so I can see at least 3,000 people at a time and swipe in the next 3,000.
1
SPEAKER_00
I wanna be able to call them in and look and have a conversation.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna, where are they on the world?
1
SPEAKER_00
And I wanna have these devices.
1
SPEAKER_00
So by the time I was done in the creating mode, it was like, there was no more pain.
1
SPEAKER_00
Now it s how do you do it?
1
SPEAKER_00
Everyone said it couldn t be done.
1
SPEAKER_00
I put six organizations together, and I said, we re going to do this.
1
SPEAKER_00
And they said, this will take six months.
1
SPEAKER_00
I said, we ve got nine weeks.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then we decided we d do an event for people.
1
SPEAKER_00
So we did a free event for 400,000 people for a week.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then we started figuring out how we re going to use this technology even more effectively.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then we did our first Unleash the Power Within virtual one.
1
SPEAKER_00
And it was unbelievable.
1
SPEAKER_00
In some ways, I mean, if you read the social media, some people like it better than the live one because we re right there with you, in your living room, with your family, with your kids.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I can t even describe what it s like to see people from 139 countries playing full out.
1
SPEAKER_00
And we re all in different time zones.
1
SPEAKER_00
And just all of us coming together as family and support and kindness and watching kids getting involved and watching, I watched this one man, I ll never forget this Indian man, we were in India, obviously.
1
SPEAKER_00
And Turbin and everything else, and he s clearly upset with his wife, had commandeered the big screen.
1
SPEAKER_00
And within a few hours, he s dancing with her.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then we did wood breaking.
1
SPEAKER_00
He ended up doing the wood breaking and participating.
1
SPEAKER_00
So it s actually become a new way.
1
SPEAKER_00
And we re actually reaching more people now than before.
1
SPEAKER_00
We ve done five events.
1
SPEAKER_00
And the average event, we ve had as high as 30,000.
1
SPEAKER_00
The small events have been 12,500 people all over the world.
1
SPEAKER_00
So what I love about the experience now is,
1
SPEAKER_00
There s no limit to helping people when they need it.
1
SPEAKER_00
And we translated eight languages simultaneously.
1
SPEAKER_00
So COVID has opportunities.
1
SPEAKER_00
I know we don t want to think about it that way, but we have to, otherwise you just got to live in pain, right?
1
SPEAKER_00
And to be able to extend whatever you re doing and deliver to whole new levels of that.
1
SPEAKER_00
So here s what we really want to say to you.
1
SPEAKER_00
Quality of your life is where you live emotionally.
1
SPEAKER_00
And that s the one thing you have total control over.
1
SPEAKER_00
Now, you say, how do I control?
1
SPEAKER_00
I feel, I feel like hell, I feel sad, I feel overwhelmed, I feel stressed.
1
SPEAKER_00
I understand, but all those feelings come from meanings.
1
SPEAKER_00
In other words, is this the end or the beginning?
1
SPEAKER_00
If you think it s the end of a relationship, you re gonna behave very differently if you think it s the beginning of a relationship, right?
1
SPEAKER_00
Is this the end?
1
SPEAKER_00
Are you being punished by God?
1
SPEAKER_00
Is this a challenge from God?
1
SPEAKER_00
Or is this whole situation a gift from God?
1
SPEAKER_00
Or is it not God at all?
1
SPEAKER_00
It s our job to figure it out.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s like the meanings determine how we feel.
1
SPEAKER_00
If you think someone s disrespecting you, you re gonna feel really different than if you think they re challenging you or coaching you or loving on you.
1
SPEAKER_00
We have the power, the one power we have.
1
SPEAKER_00
If you really wanna be inspired during this time and you re having a real rough time, go pick up Man s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl.
1
SPEAKER_00
one of the classic books of all time, and here s a man who literally was captured, put in Auschwitz, witnessed his family being taken from him, murdered, survived all that, but what he learned to do was create what he called, what we call a compelling future.
1
SPEAKER_00
He came up with enough reasons.
1
SPEAKER_00
His belief was you can take my clothes, you can take my food, but you can never take away my ability to have the freedom to think and feel what I want.
1
SPEAKER_00
If you can do that in the middle of Auschwitz, you and I can do it wherever we are in the world during this difficult time.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know, there s a whole generation.
1
SPEAKER_00
We call them the great generation.
1
SPEAKER_00
Why?
1
SPEAKER_00
Because they faced the biggest challenges people could imagine.
1
SPEAKER_00
Life as they knew it looked like it could be extinguished by Hitler.
1
SPEAKER_00
And yet that generation rose to the occasion, and we have that opportunity now.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s like, we don t usually grow unless we have to.
1
SPEAKER_00
Some people grow because that s their way of being.
1
SPEAKER_00
But if we want to go to the next level, we ve got to take this challenge on.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know, the other day I was talking to my father and my dad s a man of few words and normally, and this is actually our first holiday season that we won t be together as a family just due to the border closures.
1
SPEAKER_01
My parents live up in Canada.
1
SPEAKER_01
And so at the beginning, there was just a moment of frustration and we were both venting a bit.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I was like, pops, I miss you.
1
SPEAKER_01
And he s like, I miss you too.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I said, dad, I said like, what s been a gift for you and mom during COVID and during this time?
1
SPEAKER_01
He s like, you know, he thought about it and he s like, you know, he s like, we ve slowed down.
1
SPEAKER_01
He said, many times your mom and I will just sit on the patio and we ll watch the clouds goes by.
1
SPEAKER_01
He says, I have more pictures of clouds than I ever have in my life.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I said, you know, dad, I said, I can relate.
1
SPEAKER_01
I said, you know, many times I said, if we re having breakfast outside, we ll just linger that much longer, you know, or if we re saying grace, we ll hold each other s hands and feel the breeze on our face or watch the birds, like just simple things.
1
SPEAKER_01
Our pup like playing in the water or whatever.
1
SPEAKER_01
And there s just this sweet moment of exchange.
1
SPEAKER_01
And here my mind at the beginning of the conversation was looking at, you know, what couldn t be or how I couldn t be with my father.
1
SPEAKER_01
And all of a sudden my dad was sharing just the beauty of his state of being and the connection that my mom and daddy have had, you know, over these last number of months.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s like, you know, my whole life I ve been pushing and I ve been going and, you know, feeling so responsible.
1
SPEAKER_01
And he says, this is force of the hand.
1
SPEAKER_01
And he s like, your mom and I, you know, sometimes we ll just sit and, you know, watch the dogs outside and hold hands.
1
SPEAKER_01
And as he was telling me this, I was looking outside the window and there was clouds going by.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I just felt so incredibly dearly close to my father in that moment.
1
SPEAKER_01
And it just so demonstrated and proved that there s no distance.
1
SPEAKER_01
There s no nothing that can separate us.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know, we re truly connected in oneness.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I experienced that state with my father the other day.
2
SPEAKER_00
just like two days ago.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I hung up and I was like, gosh, you know, if it wasn t for COVID, I wouldn t have shared such an intimate moment with my father and experience a different state in my dad, you know, just at this stage of his life.
2
SPEAKER_00
And him recognize that I felt that beauty inside of me.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I hung up the phone and I went and shared it with my family.
2
SPEAKER_00
And, you know, it just became just a just all day, you know, just that night, just like looking at all the blessings and all the gifts and actually the gift of slowing down.
2
SPEAKER_00
Even though there was both perspectives, we slowed down.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then contextually, when we started to create, we had to speed back up again.
2
SPEAKER_00
But just that spaciousness of being home, you know, home has such a different definition now.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s our home, it s our sanctuary, it s our place of work, it s our place of prayer, it s our place of play.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know, it s just become this, I don t know, it s a different life for us all.
2
SPEAKER_00
And you know, for myself, when I stopped resisting what I thought should be different, I really started to be blessed with just experiencing that grace.
2
SPEAKER_00
And that moment in exchange with my daddy the other day was as dear as any moment I ve ever shared with him.
2
SPEAKER_00
And we re not going to be together this Christmas, but that moment felt like Christmas to me, so.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s beautiful, isn t it?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
So to conclude, let s offer you three steps of some action if you want, if you want to take these principles and apply them.
2
SPEAKER_01
First, just remember the principle of
2
SPEAKER_01
It s time to create.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s not just time to manage what you got.
2
SPEAKER_01
And if you create, then you will let go of the pain and you will step into another dimension of who you are.
2
SPEAKER_01
What we get never makes us happy anyway.
2
SPEAKER_01
Who we become makes us very, very happy or very sad.
2
SPEAKER_01
And this is an opportunity to become more.
2
SPEAKER_01
We re being called.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so I think the three approaches, some of you notice I wear this little baseball cap a lot of the time, which is convenient to do instead of fix your hair, quite frankly.
2
SPEAKER_01
But it has that little symbol on the front, that lucky symbol.
2
SPEAKER_01
It isn t really about lucky for me.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s about being blessed.
2
SPEAKER_01
And my view is, if you will be a blessing, you will be blessed.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so I think it takes three simple steps that we d like you to consider.
2
SPEAKER_01
And maybe after this little video ends, you ll sit down and jot a few notes.
2
SPEAKER_01
The first step, I think, to free yourself is to find the blessing.
2
SPEAKER_01
Find the blessing in all this.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m not suggesting that it s a blessing that people have died.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s for sure.
2
SPEAKER_01
Or that we ve been cooped up or that people have gotten more addicted to drugs or, you know, kids are worrying about whether they want to commit suicide or none of that is beautiful.
2
SPEAKER_01
But in the midst of pain, we have to find beauty or there s no momentum to create something new.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so find the blessing.
2
SPEAKER_01
That would be the first step to sit down and make a list of five or 10 things, but really feel it, that this has been a blessing.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so, I mean, last year,
2
SPEAKER_01
Last year we did, what, 118 cities, 16 different countries, some of them multiple times.
2
SPEAKER_01
We ve been doing that for decade after decade.
2
SPEAKER_01
This year I ve been home longer than ever time in my entire life since I was 17.
2
SPEAKER_01
And there s, well, there s this pull.
2
SPEAKER_01
Now I m still able to reach people.
2
SPEAKER_01
Those first six months was, I felt like I wasn t doing my part.
2
SPEAKER_01
But the blessing of being able to have my body heal a little bit, you know, us being together, our ability to create something new because there was a pause was so huge.
2
SPEAKER_00
And we have just more meal times together, you know, or going for a walk on the beach, or there s just different rhythms.
2
SPEAKER_00
Reading, I mean, just taking that time.
2
SPEAKER_00
So many people that I speak to as well, and including myself, you know, I have better health at this stage.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m exercising more, I m walking more, I m reading more.
2
SPEAKER_00
There s just more spaciousness to do that.
2
SPEAKER_00
For us, we would have been on a plane, or traveling, or going to an event, or flying back from a different country.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know, just some of the simple, mundane, ordinary things have become so beautiful because just appreciating it and seeing it through a different lens and appreciating what is and making those moments matter.
2
SPEAKER_01
And that s the value of a season, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
Why do we have winter?
2
SPEAKER_01
Winter makes everything slow down.
2
SPEAKER_01
And only the strong survive.
2
SPEAKER_01
And if you re strong enough during that time, you can nurture each other.
2
SPEAKER_01
You can be together as family.
2
SPEAKER_01
I always say, you know, winter, some people will freeze to death.
2
SPEAKER_01
We want to do our part to make sure they don t.
2
SPEAKER_01
But also some people learn to ski and snowboard or be with their family or prepare, create what s new because the old is dying off.
2
SPEAKER_01
Winter is followed by springtime.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, it s like if you were God when you set it up that way, you know, where after the toughest times, you have this new experience of growth and opportunity and expansion.
2
SPEAKER_01
And winter is not forever.
2
SPEAKER_01
Remember that.
2
SPEAKER_01
These tough times are not forever.
2
SPEAKER_01
We re resourceful as human beings.
2
SPEAKER_01
Find the blessing, make a list, feel it, and maybe share it with the people that you love most and ask them.
2
SPEAKER_01
I ve been asking people, I let them tell me everything is horrible.
2
SPEAKER_01
I listen and then I say, okay, I get that.
2
SPEAKER_01
What s helped me is to find something to build on that is good.
2
SPEAKER_01
What is the unexpected gift if you really dug for it?
2
SPEAKER_01
If you really dig it, I know you ll find it.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then the second one is be a blessing.
2
SPEAKER_01
My hat, that s what it says underneath it.
2
SPEAKER_01
It says, on the side, be a blessing, and it says blessed, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
It s like, I really believe, as I said earlier, if you can be a blessing, my prayer before I go on stage, every time I close my eyes, I feel presence, and I say, Lord, use me.
2
SPEAKER_01
I want to be a blessing every day of my life.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s for my 43 years that I ve been doing this.
2
SPEAKER_01
My prayer, my heartfelt prayer is be a blessing.
2
SPEAKER_01
And sometimes you can be a blessing just by your presence for someone, just caring for them and listening.
2
SPEAKER_01
Sometimes you can be there by offering a solution.
2
SPEAKER_01
Sometimes you can be that by just being an example of what s possible.
2
SPEAKER_01
There s so many ways, but sometimes it s just your love that s a blessing, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
Or it can be as simple as, I mean, my father was a blessing to me the other day, just with his presence.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but in that exchange, I ve had, you know, different level of conversations on both sides of where we live, our neighbors, you know, I ve just bumped into them because we re walking.
2
SPEAKER_00
And it s just been beautiful people, beautiful people in our life that was so busy.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know, I said hello to them, but I ve actually never really had such a meaningful conversation.
2
SPEAKER_00
And, you know, to be a blessing is also just our state of being.
2
SPEAKER_00
And, you know, if you re in a state where you re feeling, you re in a different stage and you re in that, like Tony talked about, the shock or the anger or the sadness stage, you know, still, just know that waves don t last forever, you know, and those waves come in and they go out.
2
SPEAKER_00
And, you know, it s beautiful to bring our state of being
2
SPEAKER_00
to our loved ones, never mind to life, you know, so we can touch life deeper.
2
SPEAKER_00
And, you know, when we let go and accept the reality of what is, all of a sudden, in one moment, you might have been crying and you can actually laugh at the same thing.
2
SPEAKER_00
We ve experienced that, like we ve experienced the loss and the pain of that and been in that, and then we ve laughed till we ve had tears in the same breath about the same topic.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know, it s healing to be able to just allow yourself to be what s true for yourself in the moment and let that wave to pass.
2
SPEAKER_00
be surprised what comes next and the gift to just know that our state of being, our state of being affects those that we love and affects life around us and it s just a beautiful notion to, is simply just to be present for each other.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so the second step, be a blessing, really, is to realize there s always somebody who s got it more difficult than you have, no matter how much you re suffering.
2
SPEAKER_01
When I was, you know, sleeping in my old Volkswagen and trying to survive, the things that would break me out of it is when I d get out and I d just see somebody who needed something and I could do something.
2
SPEAKER_01
I didn t have money, but I could help them.
2
SPEAKER_01
I could go move the shopping cart.
2
SPEAKER_01
I could help them across the street.
2
SPEAKER_01
And just stupid little things are not stupid.
2
SPEAKER_01
There are acts of kindness and acts of kindness, unfortunately, in our current culture that s been so polarized.
2
SPEAKER_01
We re so judging other people by whether they believe what we believe.
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, that s not how life is.
2
SPEAKER_01
Everybody believes different things at different stages.
2
SPEAKER_01
And part of our unification is to have some common values.
2
SPEAKER_01
And kindness and love and growth and contribution are the things that make human beings most fulfilled.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like I said, it s
2
SPEAKER_01
It s not what you get, it s who you become.
2
SPEAKER_01
So doing something for somebody else, like you can go to a homeless shelter and work for an hour with your kids and your kids will no longer be worried about other things.
2
SPEAKER_01
They could be seeing other people and seeing the need.
2
SPEAKER_01
When we re called, we get out of ourselves.
2
SPEAKER_01
Suffering is always about ourselves.
2
SPEAKER_01
I remember one was saying, no, it s not about me.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m worried about my kids.
2
SPEAKER_01
They re not doing well in school.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I said, man, with all due respect,
2
SPEAKER_01
If you were just worried about your kids during school, you d be working on that.
2
SPEAKER_01
Your upset is because you feel you failed your kids, and you haven t.
2
SPEAKER_01
You ve got to be kinder to yourself.
2
SPEAKER_01
But what you need to do is find something to help.
2
SPEAKER_01
So, you know, we ve been feeding people, as most of you know, since I was 17, because I got fed when I was 11.
2
SPEAKER_01
But we also give people this little book called Notes from a Friend.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I remember I was in San Diego not long ago, and we were doing this feeding program in the morning.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then we came back for a second run with some more food, and we gave out this little book.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I wrote it.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s this little tiny, like, little cartoon book that gives people some skills.
2
SPEAKER_01
So it s not just give them a fish, teach them to fish.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I ll never forget this young man in his early 20s, and he looked so broken up and everything else.
2
SPEAKER_01
And he came back, and I came back, a huge smile on his face, and he was helping us pass out the food.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it turned out he took the food we gave him, this giant basket, and he divided it amongst five people, himself and four other people, because he read this little book and realized the secret to living is giving.
2
SPEAKER_01
And you just saw this joy and this energy in him.
2
SPEAKER_01
His circumstances hadn t changed, but his internal experience had changed.
2
SPEAKER_01
You ve got to remember there s two worlds of the master, the external world and the internal world.
2
SPEAKER_01
And this is the one you ve got to master first.
2
SPEAKER_01
The outside world can be perfect and you d be miserable.
2
SPEAKER_01
The outside world can be challenging and you can be euphoric.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I m not saying be euphoric, I m just saying find the meaning that will move you to the next level.
2
SPEAKER_01
So who can you serve?
2
SPEAKER_01
What can you give?
2
SPEAKER_01
Something simple.
2
SPEAKER_01
Presence, time, energy, whatever you got, you will find yourself freed.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then lastly, if you find the blessings, if you be a blessing, you will be blessed.
3
SPEAKER_00
and you will not only be blessed, but you ll feel blessed.
3
SPEAKER_00
You ll feel the awe, you know, in the little things, like Bonnie Pearl was saying, Sage was saying, you ll feel the joy that comes from just being present with your life.
3
SPEAKER_00
There s so much we re missing, we re going so fast.
3
SPEAKER_00
So perhaps, perhaps this can be just a reset for you.
3
SPEAKER_00
And if you do it now,
3
SPEAKER_00
In maybe our second or maybe our third, we re going to do three of these little Cyruside chats, and you can see they re just flowing while I m discussing with you.
3
SPEAKER_00
I hope it s helpful to you.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I think our third one, we re going to talk about how to create 2021 to be your best year ever, because to me, the greatest story of mankind is the comeback story.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know, not somebody who s knocked to their knees.
3
SPEAKER_00
Everybody gets knocked to their knees, but they come back, not just to where they were, but better than they were.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s what we can do.
3
SPEAKER_00
So let s start with this little bit of homework if you re willing to do it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Don t wait.
3
SPEAKER_00
Don t wait for everything to change.
3
SPEAKER_00
Change internally, before everything changes on the outside, and you ll already be free.
3
SPEAKER_00
So your homework s simple.
3
SPEAKER_00
Find the blessings.
3
SPEAKER_00
Make a list, 5, 10, 15 amazing insights or feelings or things that can be precious that have made this, can make this special if we focus on it and share it with some people and find out what s been a blessing for them.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then be a blessing.
3
SPEAKER_00
How can you serve?
3
SPEAKER_00
What could you do?
3
SPEAKER_00
Something simple in the midst of all your business.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then enjoy being blessed, because we all are, if we re living at this time in human history.
3
SPEAKER_00
As difficult as it may be, we re creating technology helping blind people to see.
3
SPEAKER_00
We re creating a world where literally you can access any information you want at your fingertips.
3
SPEAKER_00
All we need to bring to it is more gratitude, more love, and more kindness.
3
SPEAKER_00
I always say that if you really want to be free, give up your expectations and replace them with your appreciation.
3
SPEAKER_00
Because expectations make up sex.
3
SPEAKER_00
They don t always get fulfilled by people, by the world.
3
SPEAKER_00
But when we appreciate, we re free.
3
SPEAKER_00
So that s our little fireside conversation.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if it was helpful for you.
3
SPEAKER_00
I hope it was.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s from our hearts to yours.
3
SPEAKER_00
We just feel for you.
3
SPEAKER_00
We know that so many of us have gone through so much pain, and some still are.
3
SPEAKER_00
But the end is in sight.
3
SPEAKER_00
When I say the end, I mean the beginning.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s what it really is.
3
SPEAKER_00
So thank us.
3
SPEAKER_00
Thank you for allowing us to pop into your home or wherever you are in the world.
3
SPEAKER_00
And we send you love and blessings.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s been beautiful to be with you today.
3
SPEAKER_01
God bless to you just coming into this beautiful sacred time, coming into your holiday and our holiday season.
3
SPEAKER_01
We look forward to being with you next time, okay?
3
SPEAKER_01
Take care.
3
SPEAKER_01
Bye-bye.
3
SPEAKER_02
Hey, everyone.
3
SPEAKER_02
Wasn t that message just beautiful?
3
SPEAKER_02
You know, every time Tony and Sage do this, this fireside chat in the holiday season, I always feel so grateful that they share their time with us from their home and walk through their personal distinctions on whatever s going on in the world.
3
SPEAKER_02
And this year, it just feels so fitting.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s been a little crazy.
3
SPEAKER_02
And, you know, we can all relate to this.
3
SPEAKER_02
So many different emotions, these stages of grief that Tony s talking about.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I m wondering for you, what s the one that felt the most true?
3
SPEAKER_02
Was it anger?
3
SPEAKER_02
Or was it sadness?
3
SPEAKER_02
Or was it acceptance?
3
SPEAKER_02
Or were you creating?
3
SPEAKER_02
A lot of us have had that frustration at the external limitations.
3
SPEAKER_02
In this community, we can relate.
3
SPEAKER_02
A lot of us are doers, or we want to make things happen.
3
SPEAKER_02
So not physically being able to go out into the world and make an impact, just like Tony not being able to have live events, that gets frustrating, like Tony was frustrated.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then Tony does that thing, right, where he says the perfect thing at the exact right moment.
3
SPEAKER_02
And he reminded us today of a message.
3
SPEAKER_02
He said that there are two worlds that we need to master.
3
SPEAKER_02
The external, do you remember it?
3
SPEAKER_02
And the internal.
3
SPEAKER_02
Your outside world can be perfect and you can still be miserable.
3
SPEAKER_02
You know people like this, you hang out with them, you date them, you re married to them.
3
SPEAKER_02
You know, like the year we have has been a little crazy and some people are still euphoric.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m sure you ve seen people like this.
3
SPEAKER_02
They ve had awful things happen in their life and for some reason they re not negative and they re not complaining.
3
SPEAKER_02
So what s their secret?
3
SPEAKER_02
Our holiday campaign is about being a blessing but recognizing these secrets.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s understanding and knowing, that inner knowing that life is just happening for you and not to you.
3
SPEAKER_02
You know, people like that, they understand that there is a higher meaning.
3
SPEAKER_02
Everything is happening for a reason.
3
SPEAKER_02
They see beauty inside of pain, and they give up the expectation that we have, and they replace those with just appreciation.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s what makes them free.
3
SPEAKER_02
So the question becomes, how do you experience that kind of freedom and comfort in knowing your purpose is greater than you?
3
SPEAKER_02
And it s about a few things.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s about consciously creating and designing the life that you want.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s about knowing exactly what your purpose is and making sure your actions every single day actually align with what you say you want.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then when you have that purpose,
3
SPEAKER_02
You know there s that feeling of excitement, of aliveness.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s like you have this conviction.
3
SPEAKER_02
You want to get out of bed early in the morning and stay up late at night.
3
SPEAKER_02
This determination, this laser-like focus, this compelling future that is driving you.
3
SPEAKER_02
And the question now becomes,
3
SPEAKER_02
Are we managing our life or are we the creator of it?
3
SPEAKER_02
And that is a two millimeter shift.
3
SPEAKER_02
We want to become the architects of our lives and as Tony would say, not the manager of our circumstance.
3
SPEAKER_02
Discovering our true purpose and then designing our life to fulfill that.
3
SPEAKER_02
So in our last moment together, I want to share with you, how do you design your life?
3
SPEAKER_02
And not from my answer, but what would Tony say?
3
SPEAKER_02
How do you design your life?
3
SPEAKER_02
And he ll tell you, it s not just sitting down with a piece of paper and writing out your goals at the end of 2020, getting ready for 2021.
3
SPEAKER_02
We re not just going to wake up and there s going to be blue skies and everything s going to change.
3
SPEAKER_02
We ve got to put in the work.
3
SPEAKER_02
And that work, Tony s favorite event that we have is State with Destiny, and I m gonna take a few moments right now to walk you through what that event is.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s a six-day, full immersion event with Tony, and it s his favorite event for a reason.
3
SPEAKER_02
So real quick, real fast, I m gonna walk you through this, because in our holiday season, this is the event that we wanna invite you to.
3
SPEAKER_02
And so it s about doing the work to figure out why we are the way we are.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s about deciding what you wanna change about your internal world.
3
SPEAKER_02
truly rewiring your nervous system from your beliefs and your values, figuring out your life s purpose.
3
SPEAKER_02
Doesn t that sound so fitting for right now in our lives?
3
SPEAKER_02
And how you can start to fulfill that purpose every single day.
3
SPEAKER_02
You ll do the work at Date with Destiny to set yourself up for fulfilling your life with what you enjoy.
3
SPEAKER_02
And in a year where this world went upside down, end it with Tony at Date With Destiny, his favorite event.
3
SPEAKER_02
So you can go into 2021 full of purpose, conviction that you are creating the life that you want.
3
SPEAKER_02
And the good news is this is going to be 100% virtual.
3
SPEAKER_02
a fully immersive experience from the comfort of your own home.
3
SPEAKER_02
You could do this with your family, with your dog, with your lover.
3
SPEAKER_02
You can say, babe, we re doing this thing.
3
SPEAKER_02
This is my Christmas gift, my holiday gift, whatever you re celebrating.
3
SPEAKER_02
We have holiday pricing right now.
3
SPEAKER_02
So we want to give this gift to you today.
3
SPEAKER_02
And this is an offer you re not going to see again.
3
SPEAKER_02
We do this with our Fireside Chat.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s a gift from Tony and Sage.
3
SPEAKER_02
And we want to give this to you guys today.
3
SPEAKER_02
So go grab your tickets to date with Destiny.
3
SPEAKER_02
I cannot wait to see you there.
3
SPEAKER_02
We love you guys.
3
SPEAKER_02
Thank you for sharing this time with us.
3
SPEAKER_02
and we will see you in December.
3
SPEAKER_02
Bye-bye.