0
SPEAKER_00
Hey, Jordan Harbinger here from The Art of Charm.
0
SPEAKER_00
Welcome to Minisoad Monday.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m happy to be here with you kicking off the week with something quick and actionable that you can implement right away that ll make you more magnetic and effective.
0
SPEAKER_00
Today, look, you ever keep punishing yourself by reliving bad things, embarrassing moments, rejections and breakups and stuff like that?
0
SPEAKER_00
I know I do.
0
SPEAKER_00
We often do this because we want to avoid making the same mistake again.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s probably some tricky evolutionary psychology going on there, and I understand that, but I m here to tell you from experience, stop doing it.
0
SPEAKER_00
See, when we experience feelings, both good and bad, they re really ephemeral.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s a fancy way of saying that they don t last long.
0
SPEAKER_00
And this is especially true if we just leave them alone and we don t roll them around in our head all the time.
0
SPEAKER_00
This problem really picks up steam when we start to create a story or narrative around a certain feeling or set of feelings.
0
SPEAKER_00
The feeling is usually camouflaged as a person or disguised as an event, but since those people aren t there and the event has actually passed, let s just recognize it for what it really is, which is a feeling.
0
SPEAKER_00
And once we start to build that story around that feeling, we can really keep it going.
0
SPEAKER_00
We can really let it in, mull it over, savor it like a piece of hard candy.
0
SPEAKER_00
Of, you know, turd-flavored hard candy, maybe.
0
SPEAKER_00
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
0
SPEAKER_00
See what I did there?
0
SPEAKER_00
He proved that we could anchor feelings to stimuli.
0
SPEAKER_00
The dog salivated every time he rang the bell for their food.
0
SPEAKER_00
You guys know this one.
0
SPEAKER_00
Well, guess what?
0
SPEAKER_00
Humans are much better at this than our canine companions.
0
SPEAKER_00
So we become expert-level ninjas when it comes to letting our subconscious beat us up about a story created by us around a feeling that we also created.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s almost not fair how much our mind gangs up on us when it comes to reinforcing this negative pattern.
0
SPEAKER_00
Feelings can be harder to control, or we d all be unemotional like Spock from Star Trek.
0
SPEAKER_00
The key to remember here is that when we aren t happy with whatever it is that we re feeling, we can attack that problem in our logical brain by modifying or even getting rid of the story that we ve created around that feeling.
0
SPEAKER_00
A crutch for modifying the story could be first recognizing it and then thinking of another time you ve done something well instead of when you bungled something.
0
SPEAKER_00
Don t always use the same task or event or you can attach undue importance to that event as well.
0
SPEAKER_00
Try to think of something new each week that s positive or helpful for breaking this pattern.
0
SPEAKER_00
This is the first step in getting some control over the runaway thoughts, the runaway stories and feelings that we let dig roots in our psyche.
0
SPEAKER_00
It sounds more complex than it is, and with practice, this gets easier.
0
SPEAKER_00
I promise.
0
SPEAKER_00
Don t forget about the Art of Charm Challenge.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s where we re helping you connect with others, create more personal and productive business relationships, and we do it step-by-step to help you move forward.
0
SPEAKER_00
There s also a Facebook group with thousands of other AOC family taking the challenge as well.
0
SPEAKER_00
Of course, AJ and myself and the rest of the AOC team is in there to help support you and guide you through it.
0
SPEAKER_00
Text the word CHARMED, C-H-A-R-M-E-D, to the number 33444 here in the States, or just go to theartofcharm.com slash challenge and get rockin .
0
SPEAKER_00
All right, everybody.
0
SPEAKER_00
Have a great week.