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In this episode of the Advanced Selling Podcast, we call back my confusion of which doctor to take my son to, Bill pounds his fist on the air, and we dip into the co-video mailbag and take a listener question about tenacity and assertiveness.
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Welcome back to the Advanced Selling Podcast, the longest running sales training podcast in the universe, created exclusively to help you create your own sales success.
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My name is Brian Neal.
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I m Bill Kasky.
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We are here every week for your listening enjoyment.
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We re glad you re with us.
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If you ve not already done so, go to join our LinkedIn group.
0
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We ve got a wonderful LinkedIn group, about to eclipse 8,000 members there.
0
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And that s just go to LinkedIn, look for the Advanced Selling Podcast group.
0
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Some of your cohorts, friends, peers are there.
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Also, Bill and I love to come out and talk
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meet with our listeners live for sales events, sales meetings, national sales meetings.
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It s amazing how many people will call me after they go to their national sales meeting, and they will say, I just got back from my national sales meeting, and the speaker sucked.
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It happens all the time.
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And then I think, and I m not saying we re God s gift, but we re pretty fun, and it s great.
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And I m telling you, if you have Bill and I come out to your sales event, your retreat, that sort of thing, it ll change.
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things for you.
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And again, not because of, it s just because of the nature of how we do things and the process we ve put together and the content, it ll change you.
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I ve been doing this 20 years and maybe I ve just never heard anyone come up and say, that really sucked.
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Usually it s the opposite.
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Like, wow, finally we got a good sale.
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I had someone the other day, she s like, I ve been in sales for 30 years.
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I ve been a thousand of these things.
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I ve learned more in the hour, this hour than I ve learned in the other three years of training combined.
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Shoot us an email, listener, advancedsellingpodcast.com.
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You can put come see us, come see us in the subject line, and we ll get the ball rolling to come talk to your national sales meeting, sales event, retreat, whatever that is.
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We are one week away from the August makeover series, or as one of our listeners called it, the August augmentation series.
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SPEAKER_00
Not sure what makeover has to do with augmentation.
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Leaving that one alone.
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Yeah, well, your son asked him.
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He s got the OBGYN.
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That s a callback.
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He did.
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Callback from last week.
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Didn t know that his son has an OBGYN.
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That was funny.
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So next week, we will start our four-part series on personal brand makeovers.
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We asked for candidates here a few weeks ago.
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We got more than we needed.
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And for the people who have already sent their application that we re not using, we ll do it later on in the fall too.
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And Brian and I are also working on something that it s not for sure yet, but it will likely happen in August.
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And that is a checklist for you, a personal brand makeover checklist.
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that you ll be able to download and kind of follow through as Brian and I go through these coaching experiences.
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We ve got four great people.
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We ve recorded a couple of them already.
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And it s going to be fun.
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It s going to be really good.
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Be great learning.
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There s no better learning than hearing someone be coached, in my opinion.
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I think that s great.
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We don t do enough of that.
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We don t do enough of that.
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We ll do some more.
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Hey Brian, you know if we want to perform our best physically or mentally, we have to give our bodies proper fuel.
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The problem is we have to research how and what to eat.
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We ve got to shop, steering clear of those evil center aisles of the store where everything is unhealthy and easy.
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Fresh and Lean is a healthy meal delivery service established in 2010.
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You can eat at home, the office, the gym.
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Standard high-protein, low-carb options available.
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Plus, you can customize for your own needs.
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Say you re wanting to build muscle.
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High-protein options can tailor to your macro profile, or just looking for healthy lunch options, they have that too.
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No revolutionary insights, just replacing artificial ingredients.
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with clean, nutrient-dense foods, vegetables, salmon, all-natural poultry, grass-fed beef and bison.
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Go to FreshAndLean.com slash ASP as an advanced selling podcast and enter the promo code SELLING for 15% off.
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That s FreshAndLean.com slash ASP and put in the promo code SELLING to get 15% off meal plans.
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Okay, here s a question that we re going to talk about today.
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This is our Co-Video mailbag.
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You can go to advancedsellingpodcast.com slash Co-Video.
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There s all sorts of specials.
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Co-Video is a tool that s been created by actually a local company here in Indianapolis that helps you stand out, break through the clutter by using video and attaching those to your emails.
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And it s awesome.
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We ve got a lot of listeners.
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In fact, one of the people who is going to be on the makeover actually sent us a Co-Video video.
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And so if you have not heard about that or want to know more, go to advancedsellingpodcast.com slash co video.
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There s some specials there that you can learn a little bit more about what the tool does.
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Absolutely.
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So here s the question.
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Hi, Bill.
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I went from 10 years of customer and service inside sales to six months now just doing inside sales with a new company, very similar industry.
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Two questions.
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One, what is the difference between being assertive and frustrating someone by asking too many questions?
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Sometimes you can hear the potential customer s frustration in their voice when I ask questions and they don t want to give answers.
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A customer said they don t use anything we use, but they manufacture.
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So how can they not use my product?
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I was trying to understand.
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I think I came across as being overbearing.
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So he s got two questions.
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Let s take that one first.
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Is that OK?
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Yeah, sure.
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What is the difference between being assertive and frustrating someone by asking too many questions?
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This is good.
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It s a very good question.
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It s a really good question, because there s absolutely art in this.
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There s balance to it.
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One of the things that I try to teach when we re teaching this to clients is self-awareness.
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And it sounds like you re on the front edge of self-awareness, but you ve got self-awareness, Josh.
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His name is Josh, correct?
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Self-awareness in the rearview mirror.
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And I like to have self-awareness while you re in the moment.
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So when you looked back, you said, I think when I look back, I came across as.
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What I want you to do is start to notice that in the moment.
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The way to start to notice that better in the moment is to be a better preparer.
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And I think that s where the trick to this whole, how do I not drive people nuts, offend them, that sort of stuff, is to be prepared better before you go in.
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So what that means is you need to rehearse your opening.
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And the setting the stage language, what I might call context setting, you have to rehearse that over and over and over before you get there, because that s where this whole deal starts.
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If you don t set good context up front, you start drilling people with questions.
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They get defensive.
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They feel like you re interrogating them, and they can t wait to get you out.
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And I m guessing that probably is what happened here.
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So the answer is actually before that is setting the stage for that.
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Before that, you ve got to get in your own head what your intent is, and clarity, and relaxation, and present moment, that sort of thing.
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One of the tools, the free tools that we offer on the advancedsellingpodcast.com site is a program called the Ultimate Pre-Game and it walks you through a little bit of that.
0
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How do you get your mind right before you make a call?
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So Ultimate Pre-Game, I think you can go to ultimatepregame.com actually and get that.
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Yeah, I think you only have one goal on these calls that you re making, Josh.
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And that one goal is to create the proper atmosphere for honest dialogue, for truth, whatever you want to call it.
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That s the only goal.
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It s not to sell something.
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It s not even to find somebody s problem.
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It s not to find out what they re struggling with.
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Yeah, those are secondary goals.
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But if you don t get number one goal correct and get it right,
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None of the other stuff can happen.
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So you should be thinking on those first calls is, what do I need to say?
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How do I need to be?
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What s my tonality that s going to create an atmosphere for the truth to occur with my potential client?
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That s it.
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I mean, there s no other.
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You can work on your questions later, work on that other stuff later.
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And like Brian said, I would write that out, write that script out, and say, what am I going to say up front that s going to ease the tension that could happen when they re not expecting your call, you re calling them cold maybe.
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But I think that s one way to get out of that, their feeling of you re just being overbearing.
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Yes.
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If you re in that moment, then also, so the question is, once you re in that moment, you develop self-awareness, you re realizing you re doing it, you have to have a mechanism to pull yourself back.
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So once you realize it s going on, you can say things like, you know, I m getting this sense here, I m kind of getting a vibe that this is not something that s high on your priority list, or it s starting to feel to me like you re just not real open to a new idea or new way to think about this, regardless of what I might be thinking or saying.
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Am I reading that right?
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from your gut, from your intuition, you re free to do that, encouraged to do that.
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You have to have good intent, what Bill was talking about.
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You have to know why you re there in order to do that.
1
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Otherwise, you re going to keep begging questions at people.
1
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Yeah.
1
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So what you re saying, Brian, is if you feel that in the moment, call it.
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Yeah, say it.
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And call it out.
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Say something.
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For sure.
1
SPEAKER_00
I like that.
1
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Here s question number two.
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Where do you draw the line at being tenacious and being overbearing
1
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Is that not the same question?
1
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Tenacious and being overbearing?
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I guess not.
1
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I really wanted to get an appointment for my rep for this one company.
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I left a message every day.
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That s a little bit less tactical.
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So tenacious, overbearing.
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You know what I m reading into this listener here?
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Is that they re probably thinking that they re annoying as a human being.
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That they may be thinking like they have this, seems like you ve got this theme here, right?
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That I m being pushy or I m overdoing it.
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Because they are.
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Because they are, exactly.
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So you ve got to check that.
1
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You first need to ask yourself, are you like that all of life?
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That s a good little poll.
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People probably won t tell you that.
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Are you like that all life?
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Gosh, that guy just won t back off.
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He s always on me.
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I think we hold that as a badge of honor sometimes as well, competitive spirit.
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I never lose, and I m never going to lose.
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And I always feel like whenever somebody says, I was in athletics, I never lose, I hate to lose, I always feel like you re not going to make a very good salesperson, because you re going to carry that into the prospect s office, and they re going to be annoyed by that.
1
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Now, you can have that fighting spirit internally, but if it starts to come out, and it s almost impossible for it not to come out.
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Yes.
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I don t know that I have that.
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In fact, I know I don t have that.
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I m really focused on, is this client a good client for me?
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Can I help them?
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Yes.
1
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Will I enjoy working with them?
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Will they enjoy working with me?
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That s winning.
1
SPEAKER_00
Winning?
1
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That s winning.
1
SPEAKER_00
Not getting a deal that I got because I was tenacious, but now that I got it, I don t want it because it s squirrely.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
1
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Do you think, in the midst of all that, what s the trigger to cause you to press versus to pull back, if that makes sense?
1
SPEAKER_01
I m fishing for an answer.
1
SPEAKER_01
Let me just tell you.
1
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To me, my intent is where I lean on there.
1
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Because to me, if you listen to his question, I think he said, I really wanted to get this appointment for my rep that was in there.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s bad intent.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s not about the person you re trying to get the appointment with.
1
SPEAKER_00
No, it s about the rep.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s about you.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s about the rep and you.
1
SPEAKER_00
Good intent with the rep to help the rep.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, which I like.
1
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But the other person feels it s not about me.
1
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You re like, on me.
1
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Like, relax.
1
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And so now if I feel there s a real compelling reason to meet with somebody because I know some secrets that they need to make their life better off, then I can be more tenacious.
1
SPEAKER_01
But then that theme should come out in my language when I m being tenacious.
1
SPEAKER_01
That makes sense, right?
1
SPEAKER_01
There should be something in there.
1
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It could be anything.
1
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So depending upon the circumstance.
1
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So I might say, hey, I ve caught wind that you re all due for our business.
1
SPEAKER_01
I ve spoken to four or five different people at your company or whatever, and I m starting to hear the same fervor of sales or difficult sales processes dragging out.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m guessing you re hearing the same thing.
1
SPEAKER_01
I ve got some things based on what I know from talking to them that I could share with you.
1
SPEAKER_01
Even on my dime, just from a meeting standpoint, you can take and do what you want.
1
SPEAKER_01
Plus, I can talk to you about how I might help long term.
1
SPEAKER_01
Would you be open to getting together?
1
SPEAKER_01
Something like that.
1
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So I m going to make it valuable for them.
1
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And I might give them something a little bit that they can use.
1
SPEAKER_00
You making the call is the tenacity part.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s not once you make the call, the tenacity of getting your teeth into them and ripping them to shreds.
1
SPEAKER_00
To me, the tenacity is just getting on the phone, having the courage to make the call.
1
SPEAKER_00
You make enough of those calls, good stuff is going to happen.
1
SPEAKER_00
It just is.
1
SPEAKER_00
Always.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s a really good point you bring up there, Bill.
1
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is that, yeah, the tenacity is in the behavior, not in the language or the feeling.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s in the action.
1
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Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Our friend Dave Catalano used to say that.
1
SPEAKER_01
He said, I could, I can, and he did this.
1
SPEAKER_01
He was really good at this.
1
SPEAKER_01
He could call someone every day and not be attached and not have bad intent, but his behavior was the tenacious part.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s really, really good.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know, also, and I like what you said, Brian, about Josh maybe being a little bit
1
SPEAKER_00
a little bit annoying or overwhelming or tenacious, but you can call that out too, just like we did in your first question.
1
SPEAKER_00
You can say, you know, I ve called you a couple times, you re probably thinking, geez, who is this guy and what s he wanting?
1
SPEAKER_00
He seems like he s not only tenacious, he s crossed the point to being annoying.
1
SPEAKER_00
You can have some fun with that.
1
SPEAKER_00
That would be a better approach, I think, than just continuing to make the call and never even acknowledging how this feels to the other person.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s true, that s good.
1
SPEAKER_00
But if you re not,
1
SPEAKER_00
rigorously self-aware of what you re doing and the impact it could have on another person, you re not going to make that move because you re not even going to think, you re just going to think, well, I m tenacious.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m in sales.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m a winner.
1
SPEAKER_00
And they might say, yeah, you re a loser because you re annoying me.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m never going to take your call no matter what you have.
1
SPEAKER_00
So calling the game, calling it out.
1
SPEAKER_00
Have a little fun with it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Make fun of yourself.
1
SPEAKER_00
Sometimes we re so damn serious, and we re on the edge, and we re in, and we re dumb.
1
SPEAKER_00
Just chill.
1
SPEAKER_00
Just relax.
1
SPEAKER_00
People have enough of that crap in their life already.
1
SPEAKER_00
Tenacity, and people expecting things that they can t deliver, and too many task lists, and too many projects.
1
SPEAKER_00
You don t need to add to that.
1
SPEAKER_00
No, definitely not.
1
SPEAKER_00
Sorry.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m a little whacked out there.
1
SPEAKER_01
You were pounding your fist.
1
SPEAKER_01
I liked it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Tenacious, right?
1
SPEAKER_01
That s the bad hand that you couldn t write with earlier.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I know.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s why.
1
SPEAKER_01
OK, thanks for having us today into your life.
1
SPEAKER_01
You re welcome.
1
SPEAKER_01
We appreciate you.
1
SPEAKER_01
You re not a guest.
1
SPEAKER_01
If you ve not already done so, go to our website.
1
SPEAKER_01
Look at the products page.
1
SPEAKER_01
There s a product there called All In that most of our long-term listeners will tell you is a wonderful thing to drive around with and listen to.
1
SPEAKER_01
Called All In on the website under the products page.
1
SPEAKER_01
Go there.
1
SPEAKER_01
As I mentioned earlier, do not be bashful.
1
SPEAKER_01
Invite us out to your events.
1
SPEAKER_01
Get the conversation started.
1
SPEAKER_01
If you ve got a sales meeting, a national sales conference, quarterly meeting, anything like that, I can promise you if you have Bill and I out, you will be happy that you did.
1
SPEAKER_01
Send us an email.
1
SPEAKER_01
Listener at advancedsellingpodcast.com and put come see us.
1
SPEAKER_01
In the subject line, that is it.
1
SPEAKER_01
We ll see you next time on the Advanced Selling Podcast.