0
SPEAKER_00
Hey, I thought we fixed all your notification stuff.
0
SPEAKER_02
Hey, Brett, what about yourself, Brett?
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SPEAKER_01
Hit it.
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SPEAKER_01
Get ready.
0
SPEAKER_03
Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another installment of The Viral Podcast.
0
SPEAKER_03
I m your host, Chelsey Lynn.
0
SPEAKER_03
I m your host, Paige Jen.
0
SPEAKER_02
Hello.
0
SPEAKER_02
Hello.
0
SPEAKER_02
How are you?
0
SPEAKER_02
Good.
0
SPEAKER_02
How are you?
0
SPEAKER_02
Good.
0
SPEAKER_02
What are you thinking about?
0
SPEAKER_03
Nothing.
0
SPEAKER_02
Damn, that s awesome.
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SPEAKER_02
To not think about anything is really a hard thing to do.
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SPEAKER_03
Yeah, because you re always thinking about stuff.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, over 70,000 thoughts a day.
0
SPEAKER_03
Really?
0
SPEAKER_02
And today we have Maggie and Brett here with some thoughts.
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SPEAKER_03
Yeah, do y all have some thoughts?
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SPEAKER_03
And we re not talking about thought daughters.
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SPEAKER_02
Or thought as in thoughts.
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SPEAKER_02
Right.
0
SPEAKER_02
How do you suck dick?
0
SPEAKER_03
That plays in my mind.
0
SPEAKER_03
At least a couple times a day.
0
SPEAKER_03
At least.
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SPEAKER_03
It takes up probably two of the thoughts a day.
0
SPEAKER_02
Do we have the 10 minute timer going?
0
SPEAKER_02
And is that D word?
0
SPEAKER_02
We re talking about Richard.
0
SPEAKER_02
How do you suck Richard?
0
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_03
How do you suck Richard is what we re talking about.
0
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_03
Timer is on.
0
SPEAKER_03
It is set for 10 minutes and it is on now.
0
SPEAKER_03
We re going.
0
SPEAKER_03
And, uh, that s just become a fun little thing.
0
SPEAKER_03
So there s that.
0
SPEAKER_02
It is fun having a little game.
0
SPEAKER_02
What s been going on right now?
0
SPEAKER_02
I m currently deleted off Snapchat.
0
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, Paige, her Snapchat has been deleted.
0
SPEAKER_03
They ve locked her out.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, trying to get that back.
0
SPEAKER_02
If anybody has any ideas, please leave a comment or message me.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_02
So what d you post?
0
SPEAKER_02
I posted a screenshot of the purple, purple, purple of the F A R T. And I, since everyone says this, this should be put on a shirt.
0
SPEAKER_02
That was the message I received.
0
SPEAKER_02
It said, Paige, this should be put on a shirt.
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SPEAKER_02
And then I put, this should be put on a shirt should be put on a shirt with the screenshot of the purple fart and
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SPEAKER_03
and her snap got, got, got, got, got, got.
0
SPEAKER_03
So we re dealing with that, trying to get her snap back.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_02
Does it feel so quiet in this room today?
0
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_03
If we re not talking, it s quiet.
0
SPEAKER_03
Listen, nobody talk, ready?
0
SPEAKER_03
That s what happens when you don t talk.
0
SPEAKER_02
It feels overly quiet today, but oh well.
0
SPEAKER_02
That s fine.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_02
So, so, so.
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SPEAKER_03
God, I was going to say something and I forgot.
0
SPEAKER_02
Was it something you wanted to tell us so that you heard?
0
SPEAKER_03
No, I do have some of those, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_03
I do have some, have you heard?
0
SPEAKER_03
But no, real quick, someone, well, I just want to say that we do the 10-minute timer.
0
SPEAKER_03
I know we joke about, like, getting monetized on YouTube.
0
SPEAKER_03
We would make $40 a video.
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SPEAKER_03
I m not even worried about that.
0
SPEAKER_03
I m worried about, here lately, YouTube has put an 18 plus on some of our videos.
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SPEAKER_03
You have to be signed in for them.
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SPEAKER_03
So not a whole lot of reach there.
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SPEAKER_03
So that s why we do the 10 minute thing.
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SPEAKER_03
We want everybody to be able to just watch it without there being like an 18 plus on there.
0
SPEAKER_02
Does that make sense?
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_02
Well, I think now the 10 minutes doesn t even matter.
0
SPEAKER_02
They can go throughout the entire episode and do a keyword.
0
SPEAKER_02
They can type in Q-U-E-F and all of our talk will be up there.
0
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_03
So, uh, that s why it s just now a fun game.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_02
The guidelines on every platform have been changing lately.
0
SPEAKER_02
You ll get updates on all the guidelines and they re out of control.
0
SPEAKER_03
You can t even say, I m going to have a list of words after the 10 minute that I m going to say that you can t even say anymore.
0
SPEAKER_02
Oh, it s changed so much of what I do.
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SPEAKER_02
And it s hard to come up and be creative with ideas when you re constantly being deleted and, you know, it s too much work to just get deleted.
0
SPEAKER_02
And also TikTok, if they re going to delete that, you think they will?
0
SPEAKER_03
For real?
0
SPEAKER_03
Oh, it did get banned.
0
SPEAKER_03
Well it got, like a bill s gonna be, yeah, a bill passed that they have to like either sell it or something.
0
SPEAKER_03
They have 12 months.
0
SPEAKER_03
Oh do they have, see I was gonna ask how long they have.
0
SPEAKER_03
They have 12 months.
0
SPEAKER_03
Well they ve said they re not selling it.
0
SPEAKER_03
Oh yeah, the owner got on there and he said we are not selling.
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SPEAKER_02
So.
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SPEAKER_02
So?
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SPEAKER_03
So they ll probably be banned and something new s gonna come along.
0
SPEAKER_03
Something new.
0
SPEAKER_02
It s ridiculous though.
0
SPEAKER_02
And what they re saying that we can t have TikTok because it s on an Apple program that s China.
0
SPEAKER_03
Well, everything on the app, I don t know.
0
SPEAKER_03
I don t know details.
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, well, a Chinese ran platform they re saying is on like a Apple, you know, but it s just, well, obviously we all know the reasons why they don t want us to have it, but.
0
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_03
Well, they don t want us to have nothing.
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SPEAKER_03
They don t want, they don t want us to be able to say Q-U-E-E-F and F- you can t even F-A-R-T on Snapchat.
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SPEAKER_00
Or Instagram.
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SPEAKER_00
Or Instagram.
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SPEAKER_00
It s too sexual.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_03
We can t even blow... Blow ace.
0
SPEAKER_03
We can t even blow ace cards.
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SPEAKER_02
I mean, come on.
0
SPEAKER_02
You can t say the word P-O-O-P on O-F.
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SPEAKER_02
We re all talking letters now.
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SPEAKER_02
Okay.
0
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah, there s a little rant, but yeah, TikTok, oh, it s so sad.
0
SPEAKER_02
I mean, come on, the power.
0
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, we can rant an hour about this, but I ve got some little things.
0
SPEAKER_03
Have you guys heard?
0
SPEAKER_03
I ve got some... Have we heard what?
0
SPEAKER_03
Well, let me tell you.
0
SPEAKER_03
Historians in Michigan recently announced that a shipwreck dating back more than a century has been discovered at the bottom of Lake Superior.
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SPEAKER_03
The Adela Shores, a wooden steamboat built in 1894, was carrying salt to Minnesota when it mysteriously disappeared on May 1st, 1909.
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SPEAKER_03
None of the ship s 14 sailors were ever heard from again.
0
SPEAKER_03
According to the Great Lakes Shipwreck Historical Society, located in Paradise, Michigan, researchers found the remains of the ship s boiler, its cargo hold, its port bow,
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SPEAKER_03
and more on the bottom of Lake Superior.
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SPEAKER_03
Although debris was found, there was no signs of sailors remains.
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SPEAKER_03
There are between 6,000 and 10,000 shipwrecks in the Great Lakes.
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SPEAKER_03
Many have not been discovered yet, but officials from the GLSHS have found 12 in the past three years.
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SPEAKER_03
That s interesting to me.
0
SPEAKER_03
I love crap like that.
0
SPEAKER_03
So they were just covered up?
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SPEAKER_03
Or just maybe so deep down there or the lake s so big nobody s probably seen every inch of that lake.
0
SPEAKER_03
Who knows?
0
SPEAKER_02
Lakes are trippy.
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SPEAKER_02
How deep down they go and then a lot of them are man-made.
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SPEAKER_02
It s like...
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SPEAKER_03
Yeah, and think about this.
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SPEAKER_03
You re back in 1909.
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SPEAKER_03
You didn t have GPS.
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SPEAKER_03
You didn t know what the weather was going to be like.
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SPEAKER_03
You didn t, you know what I mean?
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SPEAKER_03
You re just blindly out there driving a ship.
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SPEAKER_00
You got the North Star.
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SPEAKER_03
Full of salt.
0
SPEAKER_03
You got the stars.
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SPEAKER_03
That s true.
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SPEAKER_03
Somebody read the stars wrong.
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SPEAKER_03
Who knows?
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SPEAKER_03
Who knows what happened?
0
SPEAKER_03
Very interesting.
0
SPEAKER_03
Airport security officers in Miami found a slithering surprise last week.
0
SPEAKER_03
A bag of snakes hidden in a passenger s pants.
0
SPEAKER_03
According to an ex-post by the Transportation Security Administration, officers at the Miami International Airport found the small bag of snakes hidden in a passenger s trousers.
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SPEAKER_03
at checkpoint.
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SPEAKER_03
The post included a photo of two small snakes that were found in what appeared to be a sunglasses bag.
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SPEAKER_03
TSA said the snakes were turned over to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission.
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SPEAKER_03
Snakes almost on a plane, honeys.
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SPEAKER_02
That s crazy.
0
SPEAKER_02
So some were just found in
1
SPEAKER_00
and some actually in his pants?
1
SPEAKER_01
No, he had them in a sunglass bag in his pants.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s wanting to take them on the plane.
1
SPEAKER_01
Snakes on a plane?
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SPEAKER_01
Who knows?
1
SPEAKER_01
Was he gonna take them to his next destination?
1
SPEAKER_01
Was he gonna let them out on the plane?
1
SPEAKER_00
Why didn t he just check them in in a box or something?
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SPEAKER_01
Because he wanted them on the plane.
1
SPEAKER_00
They would have still been there, just not with him.
1
SPEAKER_01
Right.
1
SPEAKER_00
Damn.
1
SPEAKER_01
Very interesting.
1
SPEAKER_01
List of slang phrases that mean you re officially old if you use them according to Gen Z. YOLO is out.
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SPEAKER_04
I never was a fan of YOLO.
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SPEAKER_01
The kids are saying, fuck it, we ball.
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SPEAKER_01
10 minutes.
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SPEAKER_01
Dang it, we had two minutes left.
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SPEAKER_01
That s all right.
1
SPEAKER_04
You said buck.
1
SPEAKER_01
I said buck.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, buck.
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SPEAKER_01
I said buck.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_01
So the kids are no longer saying YOLO.
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SPEAKER_01
They re saying F it, we ball.
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SPEAKER_00
We ball?
1
SPEAKER_01
We ball.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like LeVar ball?
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SPEAKER_01
Like we, like, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Basketball.
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SPEAKER_01
Slay.
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SPEAKER_01
The kids are no longer saying slay.
1
SPEAKER_04
Whoa, that s like new kind of.
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SPEAKER_04
I m just leaning into that one.
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SPEAKER_00
I ve been saying slam.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, they re saying now we eat.
1
SPEAKER_01
Mm hmm.
1
SPEAKER_01
The girls have been saying that.
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SPEAKER_01
I have never heard that.
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SPEAKER_01
And I m like, you eat what?
1
SPEAKER_01
What are they saying?
1
SPEAKER_01
In context?
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SPEAKER_03
With everything?
1
SPEAKER_03
Um, so
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SPEAKER_03
They were playing catch in the yard the other day.
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SPEAKER_03
Lola was catching the balls and she goes, I m eating this.
1
SPEAKER_03
And I was like, you re eating what?
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SPEAKER_02
You don t get it.
1
SPEAKER_02
You don t get it.
1
SPEAKER_02
I don t get that.
1
SPEAKER_02
I hear them say that all the time.
1
SPEAKER_00
I did that one to my dad on his, the slang words.
1
SPEAKER_00
You say like, oh, she ate, like she left no crumbs.
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SPEAKER_00
Well, I know that, but unless this is something new, like, so now we eat.
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SPEAKER_01
It is.
1
SPEAKER_01
Instead of saying slay, like it s, it just means you re good at whatever you re doing.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
I like plates empty.
1
SPEAKER_01
Never heard of that one.
1
SPEAKER_00
I made it up.
1
SPEAKER_01
We got to bring it.
1
SPEAKER_01
We got to make it big.
1
SPEAKER_00
Plates empty.
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SPEAKER_00
And what does that mean?
1
SPEAKER_00
It just means the plates empty like you ate, you left no crumbs.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
Um, they are not saying you have a game.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s old.
1
SPEAKER_01
Now you ve got Riz.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that means like Riz up a girl.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but you can t say all he s got game like mouthpiece.
1
SPEAKER_04
Sorry mouthpiece Hey, you got a good mouthpiece That s okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s Teddy.
1
SPEAKER_01
They are no longer saying You re not on point or on point.
1
SPEAKER_00
They re saying you re locked in Hmm locked in Locked in loaded.
1
SPEAKER_01
So don t want that Timers off ready and
1
SPEAKER_01
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_01
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_01
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_01
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_01
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_01
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_01
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_01
Fuck you!
1
Fuck you!
1
Fuck you!
1
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_03
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you
1
SPEAKER_00
Chelsea, Maggie knows best about timers and alarms, so hand it over.
1
SPEAKER_00
Hold on.
1
SPEAKER_03
Maggie, I hit stop.
1
SPEAKER_00
Maggie s ITT tech for alarms.
1
SPEAKER_00
There s no stop on there.
1
SPEAKER_00
Is it still going?
1
SPEAKER_01
What?
1
SPEAKER_01
There s no stop on there, is there?
1
SPEAKER_01
I got a brand new phone.
1
SPEAKER_03
Swipey.
1
SPEAKER_03
That s weird.
1
SPEAKER_00
Dude, what in the hell?
1
SPEAKER_00
I know.
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t have this new, oh.
1
SPEAKER_01
Is it a 15?
1
SPEAKER_01
Beth s coming.
1
SPEAKER_01
We need Maggie.
1
SPEAKER_01
She s helping us to turn on.
1
SPEAKER_01
Am I tripping balls?
1
SPEAKER_01
That s ridiculous.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m gonna need my phone back for DM.
1
SPEAKER_04
You re not locked in.
1
SPEAKER_03
That s ridiculous.
1
SPEAKER_03
An alarm won t go off?
1
SPEAKER_01
I feel 80 years old.
1
SPEAKER_00
Dude, my dad called me the other day.
1
SPEAKER_00
He s like, I need to post on Instagram.
1
SPEAKER_00
How do I do that?
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh gosh.
1
SPEAKER_00
I had to walk him through the entire process and he goes to post and it wouldn t allow, he didn t have allow access.
1
SPEAKER_00
So then I had to take them all through the settings.
1
SPEAKER_00
Dude, that s like the worst.
1
SPEAKER_01
Y all, Beth had to walk outside cause the alarm s still going off.
1
SPEAKER_01
We can t figure out how to turn this alarm off.
1
SPEAKER_01
Did you get it?
1
SPEAKER_01
What was it, Beth?
1
SPEAKER_01
That s weird Don t do that again on your phone.
1
SPEAKER_04
I think we ve been hilarious if you just sort of smashed it You got a lemon foam stop.
1
SPEAKER_01
I do want to say Greg s been getting on my damn nerves Oh, I was gonna y all been together a lot lately because he s really into social media now and Greg has never He s never
1
SPEAKER_01
had social media.
1
SPEAKER_01
He has had an Instagram for the last maybe couple years.
1
SPEAKER_03
I thought I turned all these off.
1
SPEAKER_00
Maggie, there was a comment that said we need to start guessing when Maggie s alarm will go off.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, take bets.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, take bets.
1
SPEAKER_01
Man.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, he s been driving us because he s never been real big in the social media.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s had an Instagram the last year or two, but he hardly ever gets on there or posts.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s been trying to post more.
1
SPEAKER_01
If we are together, and he s not even trying to be funny, he s being dead serious.
1
SPEAKER_01
If we re sitting there, and we re at a restaurant or something, like this happened the other day.
1
SPEAKER_01
I forgot where we were, but we were at a restaurant, and it came out and looked so good.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was like, ooh, I grabbed my phone.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was gonna put it on Instagram story.
1
SPEAKER_01
I grabbed my phone, and as soon as he saw me doing it, he grabs his phone, and he s posted it too.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s what Brett does.
1
SPEAKER_00
He s been doing that to me for years.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s annoying, dude.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s like he doesn t know what to post, so if he sees me doing it, he grabs his phone.
1
SPEAKER_01
Golly, he s an influencer.
1
SPEAKER_04
Is he asking you, like, what do you think about a caption?
1
SPEAKER_04
Has he asked you?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he ll take a video or a picture for his Instagram story, and I ll be like, here, finish that for me.
1
SPEAKER_00
Make it good.
1
SPEAKER_01
He ll go, make it good.
1
SPEAKER_01
I ll go, what do you mean?
1
SPEAKER_01
Just post it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, you know how to do all this stuff.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s like, you got to learn, though.
1
SPEAKER_00
This is your new job.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
I guess taking pictures of food, whatever.
1
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, he ll be doing that a lot more to you.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then he s going to start saying, hey, baby, can you take a picture of me?
1
SPEAKER_00
Brett, do you do that?
1
SPEAKER_00
No, that s what Greg s going to be doing to you.
1
SPEAKER_00
Hey, baby, can you take a picture of me standing?
1
SPEAKER_00
He s going to be doing all the things we ask him to do.
1
SPEAKER_01
Right.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you aren t going to believe it.
1
SPEAKER_01
What?
1
SPEAKER_01
We were in Utah.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, not Utah.
1
SPEAKER_01
We were in Colorado last week and there was this really cool, like old, like station wagon and I wanted to take a picture by it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was like, Greg, can you take a picture of me by this?
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh God.
1
SPEAKER_01
And we were in, we were in the car.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I was like, you didn t got to get out.
1
SPEAKER_01
Just take it from, we parked up right beside it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I go, take it from the car.
1
SPEAKER_01
Instead of putting his phone out by the window, takes it from in.
1
SPEAKER_01
He goes, check and see if make sure that s good.
1
SPEAKER_01
I saw it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I saw red.
1
SPEAKER_01
Cause you saw that door handle.
1
SPEAKER_01
You saw the whole interior.
1
SPEAKER_01
I go, why would you do that?
1
SPEAKER_01
He s like, I don t know what you mean.
1
SPEAKER_01
I go, Oh my God.
1
SPEAKER_00
Hey, that s what might make him shine out though.
1
SPEAKER_00
The impurities.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
We ll see how it goes.
1
SPEAKER_01
He started a YouTube channel.
1
SPEAKER_01
So go follow his YouTube channel.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Go follow this channel.
1
SPEAKER_01
Where is Greg?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
So.
1
SPEAKER_00
Dude, freaking Greg.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh my gosh.
1
SPEAKER_01
Do you have a DM, honeys?
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Let me, let me find that.
1
SPEAKER_01
Find it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Look it up.
1
SPEAKER_00
What s the DM for the day, honey?
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, we ll tell ya.
1
SPEAKER_00
What s the DM for the day, honey?
1
SPEAKER_01
What s the DM for the day, honey?
1
SPEAKER_01
So I ve got a really, how do I, okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
So my DM is not really one DM.
1
SPEAKER_01
I have kind of a story with my DM.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay, then I ll just read mine then real quick because it s just real quick.
1
SPEAKER_00
Go ahead.
1
SPEAKER_00
This guy in all caps said, you are not white, question mark, exclamation mark, exclamation mark, exclamation mark.
1
SPEAKER_01
Interesting.
1
SPEAKER_01
He found out you re Chinese.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I said, no, I am cock Asian.
1
SPEAKER_01
Cock.
1
SPEAKER_01
You re cock and Asian.
1
SPEAKER_01
I like that.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so that s what I said.
1
SPEAKER_00
And what s your story looking like here today?
1
SPEAKER_01
That s good one.
1
SPEAKER_01
So there s this guy named Michael who s a fan.
1
SPEAKER_01
He s probably even listening right now.
2
SPEAKER_00
Older guy.
2
SPEAKER_00
Michael.
2
SPEAKER_00
He has been messaging me for years on Facebook on a regular basis.
2
SPEAKER_00
Very nice.
2
SPEAKER_00
He s funny.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t see all those messages because there s a lot, but I ll get on there every once in a while.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m like, Oh, Michael messaged me and I ll get on there and respond.
2
SPEAKER_01
And this ain t no Michael Meyer type?
2
SPEAKER_00
No, no, not at all.
2
SPEAKER_00
Just a regular guy, regular older guy named Michael.
2
SPEAKER_00
And he ll send me like the most random stuff, but I gotta, I gotta let you know what he sent before I sent him.
2
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, long story short, several messages here.
2
SPEAKER_00
So get ready.
2
SPEAKER_00
I share the same great grandmother as Elvis does on Vernon s side of the family.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay, I didn t see it so I didn t respond.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then a month later he writes, love you long time, baby doll.
2
SPEAKER_00
My number is, gives me his number, call me, I ll take you out on the town.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then a month later goes, wow, you re an impressive chef.
2
SPEAKER_00
It would be awesome cooking for each other, then cuddling in the bed, loving on each other.
2
SPEAKER_00
Free rim jobs, get them while they re free.
2
SPEAKER_01
What?
2
SPEAKER_00
And then two weeks later wrote, love you.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then this past Friday wrote, I would still love to give you a rim job, baby doll.
2
SPEAKER_00
I bet it would feel really good for you.
2
SPEAKER_01
What s a rim job anyway?
2
SPEAKER_00
Eating your ass, eating your ass, licking your butthole.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s asshole for sure.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s rimming.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re rimming.
2
SPEAKER_01
Here s the asshole and you re going.
2
SPEAKER_01
Dude, you want buckets.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re not trying to get a rim.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then after all that, he sends me a link where he s running for Senate.
2
SPEAKER_00
And he wants a vote?
2
SPEAKER_00
What s he look like?
2
SPEAKER_00
Does he look like a senator?
2
SPEAKER_00
He looks like an old pastor.
2
Wow.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I guess where he s it has his name it says for Senate and then he was on a I guess a podcast talking about... Don t you have to be a governor before you re a senator?
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_01
I thought you had to go up the... You just gotta know somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody.
2
SPEAKER_00
So what if he was a governor?
2
SPEAKER_00
Who knows?
2
SPEAKER_01
Probably a son of a pastor.
2
SPEAKER_00
It says his name and it says for Senate and there s a, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I thought it was interesting that he.
2
SPEAKER_01
Did you watch his old podcast episode and see if he s like, how does he speak?
2
SPEAKER_00
I need to, I didn t click on it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Wait, did he call?
2
SPEAKER_00
No, this is a, where he was on a podcast talking about running for Senate.
2
SPEAKER_00
I need to... Let s watch it after.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
So, anyway, that s my DM of the day.
2
SPEAKER_00
Hmm, I like that.
2
SPEAKER_00
So, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Dude, yeah, once again, the people who you don t think are gonna be the ones texting you for rim jobs and asshole lickings, yeah, those are the people in charge of your town, cities, churches.
2
SPEAKER_00
Those are the people.
2
SPEAKER_00
Those are the people.
2
SPEAKER_00
If I m not mistaken, I think you have to be
2
SPEAKER_00
I could be wrong.
2
SPEAKER_01
The only thing I know about shit like that is you can t, you have to be 35 to be the president.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s all I know on that type of stuff.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_01
Governor, Senate, nothing.
2
SPEAKER_00
Maybe it was a town Senate.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_00
Maybe it was a church Senate.
2
SPEAKER_00
Maybe he s making something up.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s just what I saw.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, you just have to be 30 a US citizen and just residency in the state.
2
SPEAKER_00
To run?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Who knows?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
We haven t Senate yet.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, we haven t Senate yet.
2
SPEAKER_00
Can I also just say, we ve been doing a lot of talking.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, so much, dude.
2
SPEAKER_00
And you know what, Brett has too.
2
SPEAKER_00
Brett s been talking, but Maggie, you want to lean for it?
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t have anything to say.
2
SPEAKER_00
She s on a podcast, has nothing to say.
2
SPEAKER_00
All right, Brett, go ahead.
2
SPEAKER_02
You know, the duck bill platypus has really been kind of tripping me out a lot lately.
2
SPEAKER_02
Um, you know, we re told it s the only mammal that lays eggs, but they don t tell you that it can see with its eyes closed underwater.
2
SPEAKER_02
So it s not, it s not using sonar or anything.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s just, it can see with its third eye.
2
SPEAKER_02
So it s kind of proof.
2
SPEAKER_02
And so that would mean if a mammal can lay eggs, that d mean it s half reptile, half mammal.
2
SPEAKER_02
So that s kind of weird.
2
SPEAKER_02
There might be like, you know, half mammals, half lizard.
2
SPEAKER_02
Humans maybe hopping around.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
2
SPEAKER_02
Time travelers.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Brett is your dad.
2
SPEAKER_02
Lean back.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, God.
2
SPEAKER_00
Brett, do you get nervous during leadboards?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Well, do you hear his voice shaking?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Because his voice shakes.
2
SPEAKER_02
All the time, though.
2
SPEAKER_02
I was trying not to there, but.
2
SPEAKER_01
It looks like you re crying under your sunglasses.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m not going to lie.
2
SPEAKER_01
He might be.
2
SPEAKER_01
He might be.
2
SPEAKER_01
Brett.
2
SPEAKER_01
Lift him.
2
SPEAKER_01
Are you crying?
2
SPEAKER_02
Lift him.
2
SPEAKER_01
Lift him.
2
SPEAKER_00
Open?
2
SPEAKER_00
Are you crying?
2
SPEAKER_02
No.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
Cause I noticed your voice always gets shaky during lean forth and I m wondering if you re nervous.
2
SPEAKER_02
No, I do get a little nervous.
2
SPEAKER_00
Why?
2
SPEAKER_02
Cause it s like, everybody s just, it s quiet.
2
SPEAKER_00
Everybody s listening to you?
2
SPEAKER_00
And I m just talking.
2
SPEAKER_00
But it s your time to shine.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think cause nobody s responding.
2
SPEAKER_01
So just talking for one minute about nothing and nobody s saying anything back.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I think that s a little bit of the reason why, but who knows?
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah I keep thinking every time I m gonna like not be nervous but it s weird.
2
SPEAKER_00
You said you re trying to open your third eye?
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
What do you mean by that?
2
SPEAKER_02
It s uh like kind of transcending like meditation stuff.
2
SPEAKER_00
There s people that join cults to try to open their third eyes.
2
SPEAKER_00
Third eye blind.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Hold on, hold on, can I just say something?
2
SPEAKER_00
Before we filmed the pod, Brett was outside, comes in and asks if he can shit in my yard.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, he s like, is there any good places to shit out there?
2
SPEAKER_00
And Greg s like, oh yeah, I can think of one.
2
SPEAKER_00
Brett comes in and goes, hey, do you mind if I shit in your yard?
2
SPEAKER_00
Why though?
2
SPEAKER_00
And I go, no Brett, use the bathroom.
2
SPEAKER_00
He goes, well, I m trying to do an experiment.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m trying to see if mushrooms will grow out of it.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I said, if you re going to do it, do it way back in the woods.
2
SPEAKER_00
Don t do it right where we walk.
2
SPEAKER_00
And the dogs are going to find it.
2
SPEAKER_00
and eat it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, I said make a sign and put it on the tree like Brett s designated shit area or something.
2
SPEAKER_00
You can do it if it s way back there.
2
SPEAKER_00
But if I m going to be walking around.
2
SPEAKER_00
Bucket over it, maybe.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, because like everything s the opposite.
2
SPEAKER_02
You know, they want us to pick up poop all the time for the dogs.
2
SPEAKER_02
Shouldn t.
2
SPEAKER_02
Because from poop comes.
2
SPEAKER_00
Mushrooms and life.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Psychedelic things.
2
SPEAKER_00
So Brett said he s going to do that in my yard.
2
SPEAKER_02
I was wanting to shit in our yard.
2
SPEAKER_00
You can t.
2
SPEAKER_00
Y all are in the middle of town, brother.
2
SPEAKER_00
You can t do that.
2
SPEAKER_00
You could shit and then take it out and put it in the grass.
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, he could get one of those tents that go fully around him and just take a shit and then it can go back up.
2
SPEAKER_00
I wonder if you could get in trouble for that.
2
SPEAKER_01
Taking a shit in your yard?
2
SPEAKER_00
In the tent.
2
SPEAKER_00
Who would know?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, no one would.
2
SPEAKER_01
How would they know?
2
SPEAKER_00
If you know, you know, though.
2
SPEAKER_00
You can t prove it.
2
SPEAKER_01
They see this tent go out walking in the yard.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know what I mean?
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh my gosh, who even thinks to do that?
2
SPEAKER_01
Brett.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, Brett s your dad.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m looking for the cow poop, you know?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, we don t have any cows.
2
SPEAKER_02
But that s what I m thinking, like maybe my shit could be the same as a cow s and just have like a bunch of mushrooms in my yard.
2
SPEAKER_01
It would be cool, it d be funny actually if we each took a shit and just seen which of our shit grew the best like
2
SPEAKER_01
Mushrooms or whatever.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s gonna grow out of it.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s true.
2
SPEAKER_01
That d be funny though.
2
SPEAKER_01
I do our own research, you know Yeah, so the shit and if you re wondering how he s trying to open up his third eye, so he ll he s been trying to like levitate or something and Sometimes he ll stare at a wall And what and a lot more crazy shit, oh no, no Hold on.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah
3
SPEAKER_03
I m like, yeah, you gotta go.
3
SPEAKER_02
Levitation.
3
SPEAKER_02
So you re telling me, hold on.
3
SPEAKER_01
So you re telling me that y all are at home and Brad is staring at a wall trying to levitate?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
He s done that.
3
SPEAKER_04
Out of my body.
3
SPEAKER_04
Not me personally, but I m trying to have my,
3
SPEAKER_03
I have a picture.
3
SPEAKER_03
He was doing it at the Airbnb in Florida, too.
3
SPEAKER_03
I have a picture of him.
3
SPEAKER_03
Wanna see it?
3
SPEAKER_04
Oh, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_03
It was freaking me out.
3
SPEAKER_03
I said, dude, your energy s off.
3
SPEAKER_03
You need to get away from me.
3
SPEAKER_04
There s a lot I can really talk about this if you want.
3
SPEAKER_03
Okay, let s hear it.
3
SPEAKER_04
Um, so what kind of inspired me to open up my butthole or my third eye was, uh, I think it s called Henry Sugar.
3
SPEAKER_04
And it was this guy who, he found a book in a library and, you know, he discovered you can see with your eyes closed.
3
SPEAKER_04
No, you can actually fucking see.
3
SPEAKER_04
Like he s, you know.
3
SPEAKER_03
Walking around?
3
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, walking everywhere with his eyes closed.
3
SPEAKER_03
They need to put a sleep mask on him and actually see if he can see.
3
SPEAKER_02
He can sleep, he can see?
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_04
Is there something there?
3
SPEAKER_04
And so the guy, what he did is he used it for blackjack.
3
SPEAKER_04
And so he could see through cards eventually.
3
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_04
I m gonna look up what the movie s called.
3
SPEAKER_04
But then after that, I discovered the duck-billed platypus.
3
SPEAKER_04
And I m like, whoa, like, so if you can see with your third eye, that means there s a fourth and fifth dimension.
3
SPEAKER_04
If you can, because we re in a 3D.
3
SPEAKER_02
I believe in dimensions, but I m talking about you staring at a wall trying to levitate right now.
3
SPEAKER_04
Well, not like really trying to levitate.
3
SPEAKER_04
It s like my body can just see and I can come out of my body and
3
SPEAKER_02
Has it worked for you yet?
3
SPEAKER_02
I m more aware.
3
SPEAKER_04
No, I haven t been able to do it yet.
3
SPEAKER_02
He hasn t seen it.
3
SPEAKER_04
I ve been trying, so if there s anybody out there who knows... Maybe you need some psychedelics.
3
SPEAKER_04
Maybe you need... I need to take a shit in my yard.
3
SPEAKER_04
To grow mushrooms.
3
SPEAKER_03
Does the dude have a hole in his head or something?
3
SPEAKER_03
Like, is there any proof of a third eye?
3
SPEAKER_03
Or third eyes is just... What is it?
3
SPEAKER_03
It s gotta be imaginary.
3
SPEAKER_04
They say Joe Rogan has one, because it s like... He has like a weird...
3
SPEAKER_04
Indention right here and they re like, oh, yeah, he s opened it up He s opened it up.
3
SPEAKER_04
I wonder if people can have sex and then you got the third eye blind Doesn t he have a third eye on his picture?
3
SPEAKER_02
Brett, that s a band.
3
SPEAKER_04
No, I know but they were on to something They re trying to tell us that our third eyes blind
3
SPEAKER_03
Well, maybe it needs glasses or maybe a big contact lens.
3
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, it s called The Wonderful World of Henry Sugar.
3
SPEAKER_04
So you need to watch that.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s a documentary?
3
SPEAKER_04
No.
3
SPEAKER_04
Oh, yes.
3
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
I just can t imagine looking at Brett doing shit like this around the house.
3
SPEAKER_02
Trying to levitate.
3
SPEAKER_03
Oh here, here was the one when we were at the Airbnb and he was trying to levitate.
3
SPEAKER_01
I remember that big screen.
3
SPEAKER_01
I didn t know what he was doing.
3
SPEAKER_02
We gotta post this on our Instagram.
3
SPEAKER_04
And like, you know how you, you say you have like no thoughts, whatever or something, like you can not think about anything.
3
SPEAKER_04
That s the goal.
3
SPEAKER_03
Brett, that was two seconds into the podcast.
3
SPEAKER_03
Chelsea s saying she has no thoughts.
3
SPEAKER_02
No, we were taught- Brett, you re one of the most interesting people I ve ever known.
3
SPEAKER_02
Thanks.
3
SPEAKER_03
Well, you don t even know the other thing he has going on in his head.
3
SPEAKER_03
I won t even say that one because it s too freaking wild.
3
SPEAKER_04
Well, that s my dad.
3
SPEAKER_02
Y all tell me after.
3
SPEAKER_02
There ain t no telling.
3
SPEAKER_02
If we re just scratching the surface, there ain t no telling.
3
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_04
I m glad we got to talk about this, though.
3
SPEAKER_04
I ve been wanting to talk about it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_03
Thanks for sharing that.
3
SPEAKER_03
It is interesting.
3
SPEAKER_03
I mean, you never can tell.
3
SPEAKER_02
For sure.
3
SPEAKER_02
And thank you for opening up, Brett, talking about that.
3
SPEAKER_04
I m looking for someone to help me, too, you know, if anybody knows any tips, tricks, hacks.
3
SPEAKER_02
You know what you need to go do?
3
SPEAKER_02
You need to go do that.
3
SPEAKER_00
Ayahuasca.
3
SPEAKER_00
Open up that eye.
3
SPEAKER_02
Brett, you need to go do that.
3
SPEAKER_02
And I ve always wanted to do that.
3
SPEAKER_02
Me too.
3
SPEAKER_02
And Greg s scared of me to do it.
3
SPEAKER_03
Brett, maybe that s why it s called ayahuasca.
3
SPEAKER_02
Aye.
3
SPEAKER_02
What if Brett goes and does it and he comes back the most normal, basic-ass dude?
3
SPEAKER_02
See, I wouldn t like that.
3
SPEAKER_02
I d want crazy Brett back.
3
SPEAKER_02
But what if he doesn t come back?
3
SPEAKER_03
Baby, come back.
3
SPEAKER_02
I wouldn t like that.
3
SPEAKER_02
Brett, you and your dad should go do ayahuasca, and I ll be there to vlog it, I swear to God.
3
SPEAKER_03
Because most of the crazy things Brett spills out, I usually, well, I don t not agree or disagree with anything I m told.
3
SPEAKER_03
Like, I just like to hear everyone s perspective, whether I, yeah, I just love to hear it.
3
SPEAKER_03
Like, you could seriously, even with the shit and stuff growing out of it, who knows?
3
SPEAKER_03
You know?
3
SPEAKER_03
I just don t.
3
SPEAKER_03
There could be so much life from a little turd.
3
SPEAKER_02
I just don t.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m never surprised by the shit that Brett says.
3
SPEAKER_02
For him to come in and not even a hi, just to say, hey, can I shit in your yard?
3
SPEAKER_02
I mean, that is completely normal.
3
SPEAKER_02
to hear from Brett.
3
SPEAKER_02
And he s 44.
3
SPEAKER_04
And I wouldn t ask anybody else that.
3
SPEAKER_04
I asked you because I kind of feel like you would allow it.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, that s why I said back.
3
SPEAKER_02
She s got the yard for it.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I don t want to step out my front door and step in your shit.
3
SPEAKER_03
Oh my.
3
SPEAKER_02
I want you to do it back.
3
SPEAKER_04
Thank you.
3
SPEAKER_03
So, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_03
Thanks, Brett.
3
SPEAKER_03
Thank you, Brett.
3
SPEAKER_04
I bet you re actually pretty good at it.
3
SPEAKER_04
I don t even know.
3
SPEAKER_03
At what?
3
SPEAKER_04
Levitating.
3
SPEAKER_04
You ve never tried it.
3
SPEAKER_04
You can kind of clear your mind pretty easy, it sounds like.
3
SPEAKER_02
Let me watch the documentary.
3
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
And then I ll try to levitate with you.
3
SPEAKER_04
I think you ll love it.
3
SPEAKER_04
Yep.
3
SPEAKER_02
And what was his last name?
3
SPEAKER_03
Sugar?
3
SPEAKER_03
Sugar.
3
SPEAKER_03
Nice.
3
SPEAKER_03
Hey Sugars.
3
SPEAKER_03
Hey Sugars.
3
SPEAKER_03
The third eye thing.
3
SPEAKER_03
Remember the, everyone s been saying the sugar on their asshole has helped their hemorrhoids.
3
SPEAKER_03
Millions of messages.
3
SPEAKER_03
Really saying we saved him Wow from from him ease from pouring sugar on your ass.
3
SPEAKER_02
So interesting.
3
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, so do that there s that and Call it Def Leppard you do that.
3
SPEAKER_04
Why?
3
SPEAKER_03
Interesting anything you love and hate yes, wait before we move to move on to that.
3
SPEAKER_03
Have you ever shit in the woods?
3
SPEAKER_02
When we were kids, I feel like we would stop and take a shit anywhere.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, for real.
3
SPEAKER_02
You know, we d be riding the bikes way across town and there would be no bathrooms.
3
SPEAKER_02
We d just pop a squat and slide that fucker out and keep going.
3
SPEAKER_03
Slide that fucker out and keep going.
3
SPEAKER_02
We did it.
3
SPEAKER_02
I did it all the time.
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t remember that.
3
SPEAKER_03
No.
3
SPEAKER_02
We did.
3
SPEAKER_03
When I first met Brett, I had to shit on the side of the road bad.
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t ever remember just pulling our bikes.
3
SPEAKER_02
When we were riding our bikes around town, you don t remember shitting?
3
SPEAKER_02
It s like from going to A to B a couple blocks, you guys kind of holding shit.
3
SPEAKER_02
Hold on, Maggie just said, you don t remember riding our bikes around town and stopping and shitting on the side.
3
SPEAKER_02
No.
3
SPEAKER_02
Beth wouldn t remember.
3
SPEAKER_02
We did.
3
SPEAKER_02
We would shit all over town.
3
SPEAKER_02
How would we wipe?
3
SPEAKER_02
Leaves.
3
SPEAKER_02
Leaves or we just wouldn t.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh my!
3
SPEAKER_02
Was this a one-time thing or did we do it all the time?
3
SPEAKER_02
I think we did it all the time whenever we needed to shit.
3
SPEAKER_02
I mean, you didn t have toilet paper at home.
3
SPEAKER_02
I remember we were playing down in that creek at the park and we would shit down in there.
3
SPEAKER_02
In Marietta?
3
SPEAKER_02
And just keep playing, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_03
You would steal toilet paper, you probably had some with you.
3
SPEAKER_02
You could throw a rock and hit our apartment.
3
SPEAKER_02
We wouldn t want to go home and shit though, we would keep playing.
3
SPEAKER_02
Damn, sometimes I guess you block stuff out, because... I remember we would shit all over the place.
3
SPEAKER_02
Would your friends do it too?
3
SPEAKER_02
I think so.
3
SPEAKER_02
We would just be like, gonna go use the bathroom.
3
SPEAKER_02
Everyone had to shit.
3
SPEAKER_04
Maybe they were just peeing though, and you were shitting.
3
SPEAKER_02
A little small, a little more slippy.
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_02
We were all shitting.
4
SPEAKER_00
I was a big peer outside and drinking from a water hose.
4
SPEAKER_00
You still do all that, Brett.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I love peeing on the ground.
4
SPEAKER_01
Me and my siblings would have competitions who could pee the furthest.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like me and Jasmine would get our vaginas just spraying.
4
SPEAKER_00
Really?
4
SPEAKER_00
That s kind of hot.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Because we would camp a lot and stuff.
4
SPEAKER_03
Because we would camp a lot.
4
SPEAKER_03
That s gnarly.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Hello, and welcome to the Moo Moo commercials.
4
SPEAKER_01
Who wants better sex?
4
SPEAKER_01
Me.
4
SPEAKER_01
And how do we know that?
4
SPEAKER_03
Well, cause I m horny all the time.
4
SPEAKER_03
And cause she s throbbing.
4
SPEAKER_03
And I m always throbbing.
4
SPEAKER_01
And the best way to get rid of those throbs and nods is adamandeve.com.
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4
SPEAKER_01
They have clickticklers, dildos, bunny rabbits, cock rings, cock holders, lube.
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I mean, she could keep going.
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SPEAKER_03
Oh yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
Interesting.
4
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_03
So moving on, moving on, we re going to do a love and hate.
4
SPEAKER_03
Got to find them.
4
SPEAKER_01
Here we go.
4
SPEAKER_03
Hate.
4
SPEAKER_03
Love.
4
SPEAKER_03
Hate.
4
SPEAKER_03
All right, you wanna go first?
4
SPEAKER_01
No.
4
SPEAKER_03
Okay, ready?
4
SPEAKER_03
Something I love.
4
SPEAKER_03
When restaurants have those flame things outside of the place.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like a flame heater type thing?
4
SPEAKER_03
No, you know those little tiki torches with the flames on top?
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
When they have those out, that s, you know, it s gonna be a good restaurant.
4
SPEAKER_03
And they re going?
4
SPEAKER_03
And it s rare.
4
SPEAKER_03
You rarely see a restaurant with that on.
4
SPEAKER_03
There s a couple in San Diego that have it.
4
SPEAKER_01
Cheesecake Factory?
4
SPEAKER_03
They don t have those.
4
SPEAKER_01
The one in San Diego, I think outside the mall had those.
4
SPEAKER_03
I m talking about the tiki torches that light the fire, not the heat, not the heaters.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
Not the heaters.
4
SPEAKER_01
You know what I m talking about?
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like that you could stick in at the beach?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
I love that.
4
SPEAKER_01
So which restaurants have them?
4
SPEAKER_03
Um, Duke s has those.
4
SPEAKER_03
There s one, there s a couple in San Diego.
4
SPEAKER_03
A steakhouse or something?
4
SPEAKER_03
No, it s like a, it s like a originated in Hawaii.
4
SPEAKER_03
Mmm.
4
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_03
Um, there s another restaurant in San Diego that has one.
4
SPEAKER_03
I haven t seen any here in Nashville, but just, I just, you know, I saw one the other day and I thought it was really cool.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
And it made me happy.
4
SPEAKER_03
That s something I love.
4
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_03
Tiki Torches.
4
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_03
Something you love.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh gosh.
4
SPEAKER_01
Have I already said this one?
4
SPEAKER_01
I love when grass has those lines in it.
4
SPEAKER_03
I don t think you ve said that.
4
SPEAKER_01
Really good mow lines.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
Satisfying.
4
SPEAKER_01
And even watching that dude on TikTok that has been mowing freaking Rick Ross s house and stuff.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like I love those.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Anything you guys love?
4
SPEAKER_01
Anything y all love?
4
SPEAKER_01
Brett?
4
SPEAKER_00
I love finding a way to get an advantage in gambling.
4
SPEAKER_02
Brett, this is not a lean forward.
4
SPEAKER_03
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_03
All right, Maggie, is there one thing you love, Maggie?
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh God, I can t think of anything right now.
4
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_03
So Maggie doesn t love anything.
4
SPEAKER_03
Okay, so something we hate.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, she could think of something for this.
4
SPEAKER_03
Anything you hate, Maggie.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, she ll think of something.
4
SPEAKER_03
She ll think of lots of things she hates.
4
SPEAKER_03
Ready?
4
SPEAKER_03
I hate with a passion.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, shit.
4
SPEAKER_03
Scrolling and running across a video
4
SPEAKER_03
that says, this initial owes you tacos, or this initial has to buy you a coffee, or this initial, have you seen those?
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, where you have to tag people?
4
SPEAKER_03
I haven t seen that.
4
SPEAKER_03
They are everywhere.
4
SPEAKER_03
It ll be someone cooking, and they ll have like sauce, and they ll be like, this initial owes you dinner, and it s like E.
4
SPEAKER_03
dumb or this initial it what does that mean it means like the initial like the first letter of your name it would be it would be as if as if i m seeing a restaurant s instagram and it says this initial owes you tacos and they with sour cream type out an m right out of m and then i would text you and go hot bitch going tacos and you owe me tacos that is dumb so it s like a gas light kind of
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, it pisses me off every time I see one.
4
SPEAKER_01
I ll be getting them all the time, but I m going to keep a lookout.
4
SPEAKER_03
I ll start seeing them now that it s been mentioned.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_03
I mean, I get pissed.
4
SPEAKER_03
As soon as I see it, I can t scroll away fast enough.
4
SPEAKER_01
That s why I usually have to just end those videos.
4
SPEAKER_01
I got to take a look at them.
4
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
OK, something you hate.
4
SPEAKER_01
OK, something I hate.
4
SPEAKER_01
I kind of hate fake laughing.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think I m just gonna stop laughing all in all unless it s real and I don t laugh at a lot of things so it s gonna get real boring.
4
SPEAKER_03
That s fine.
4
SPEAKER_01
Cuz I don t think anything s fucking funny so I usually fake laughing or I guess some things are funny.
4
SPEAKER_03
I was gonna say I don t feel like you fake laugh.
4
SPEAKER_01
Dude there s a freaking gnat in here it s so annoying holy.
4
SPEAKER_01
Hey honey s gnat here.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but yeah, fake laughing.
4
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_01
All right, Brett?
4
SPEAKER_00
I hate it when I go to take a picture of Paige and it does like that timer thing.
4
SPEAKER_03
Oh, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
You know, she s like, hurry up.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m like, well, she s like, take more.
4
SPEAKER_01
No, I rarely ask him to even take photos of me anymore, so.
4
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
4
SPEAKER_02
Maggie, what s something you hate?
4
SPEAKER_02
Okay, I hate when people go to do a story on social media.
4
SPEAKER_02
and they have a filter on, full face of makeup, and their hair s fixed, and they ll be like, oh, don t mind me, my hair s messed up and I look like a mess.
4
SPEAKER_02
Maggie, that s what I said.
4
SPEAKER_02
That s what I said last episode, or a couple episodes ago.
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh, you did?
4
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
4
SPEAKER_02
I was just thinking about that, because I saw a lady this morning.
4
SPEAKER_02
It was Chelsea.
4
SPEAKER_02
And it pissed me off, because she looked good, and she knew she looked good.
4
SPEAKER_02
Why would you say that?
4
SPEAKER_01
If you know you look good, and you re like saying shit, hell no.
4
SPEAKER_03
And nobody cares, even if you don t.
4
SPEAKER_01
Exactly!
4
SPEAKER_02
Nobody s thinking, oh my god, I m not gonna watch this because her hair s messed up.
4
SPEAKER_01
Well, I think some people do say something because they don t want a hundred messages.
4
SPEAKER_01
One girl I actually like watching, Stassi, what s her name, Stassi?
4
SPEAKER_01
Kylie Jenner s friend.
4
SPEAKER_01
Her eyebrows were orange or something and she s like, I know my eyebrows are orange.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s but that s like fine.
4
SPEAKER_01
I feel like that s true.
4
SPEAKER_03
That s a little different though.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh, excuse me I look horrible today, but I wanted to get on here and it s like that s fishing for So they do it all the time I like to watch Jacqueline Hills stories and she does it all the time and it pisses me off like I m about to unfollow her.
4
SPEAKER_02
Oh damn Because it s a every video Jacqueline Hill.
4
SPEAKER_03
We hope you re not a rock fucker.
4
SPEAKER_01
She s not hmm
4
SPEAKER_01
She s not.
4
SPEAKER_01
But I m like, why?
4
SPEAKER_03
You say that every day.
4
SPEAKER_03
Well, maybe.
4
SPEAKER_03
Who knows?
5
SPEAKER_03
It s probably got some real rude comments You know, yeah, you get freaking called out for this that people don t even know how to act these days for sure That s funny.
5
SPEAKER_01
I didn t know you I didn t realize you said that I said that I think the last time we did this Maybe Maggie left to let go get the kids or something.
5
SPEAKER_03
And then we did a love-hate who knows.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yes, maybe yeah No, all the comments are gonna be like
5
SPEAKER_04
No, she was here!
5
SPEAKER_04
She was right there!
5
SPEAKER_04
We forget so much shit, dude.
5
SPEAKER_04
Oh, gosh.
5
SPEAKER_03
Hello, and welcome to the Moo Moo commercials.
5
SPEAKER_02
One of my favorite, favorite,
5
SPEAKER_02
I was going to say late night snacks, but I snack this throughout the day.
5
SPEAKER_02
Without a doubt, Paige, every time you open my cupboard, what s in there?
5
SPEAKER_02
Magic spoon.
5
SPEAKER_02
Magic spoon.
5
SPEAKER_02
And just cereals.
5
SPEAKER_02
I ve always been a big cereal guy.
5
SPEAKER_02
I love all kinds of cereals.
5
SPEAKER_02
Big cereal guy.
5
SPEAKER_02
Cereal, whole milk.
5
SPEAKER_02
Nothing better.
5
SPEAKER_02
I like it all.
5
SPEAKER_02
But here s the thing, you guys.
5
SPEAKER_02
I m about to be 37.
5
SPEAKER_02
I just got to watch the sugars.
5
SPEAKER_02
You know what I m saying?
5
SPEAKER_02
I got to watch the sugars.
5
SPEAKER_02
I tried Magic Spoon.
5
SPEAKER_02
I went in optimistic, but I was like, you know what?
5
SPEAKER_02
I like my cereal.
5
SPEAKER_02
I don t know if it ll hold up.
5
SPEAKER_02
Oh, and guess what held up?
5
SPEAKER_02
Guess what held up?
5
SPEAKER_02
The spoon?
5
SPEAKER_02
The spoon to my mouth.
5
SPEAKER_02
Every time I eat Magic Spoon, so good.
5
SPEAKER_03
Oh, and the best flavor for me is fruity.
5
SPEAKER_03
I ve said this before.
5
SPEAKER_03
I really enjoy that one.
5
SPEAKER_03
And Chelsea, we all know your favorite, peanut butter.
5
SPEAKER_02
Oh God, the peanut butter.
5
SPEAKER_03
They also offer cocoa and frosted as well.
5
SPEAKER_03
And this pack has zero grams of sugar, 13 to 14 grams of protein, and four to five grams of net carbs.
5
SPEAKER_02
Amazing.
5
SPEAKER_02
You guys, the Variety Pack, four flavors are cocoa, fruity, frosted, and peanut butter.
5
SPEAKER_02
Only 140 calories a serving.
5
SPEAKER_02
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SPEAKER_03
Get your spoon and get your magic and go to magicspoon.com slash buyroll to grab a variety pack and try it today.
5
SPEAKER_03
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5
SPEAKER_03
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5
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5
SPEAKER_03
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5
SPEAKER_02
Thank you, Magic Spoon, for sponsoring this episode.
5
SPEAKER_02
Maggie, roll that beautiful bean footage.
5
SPEAKER_00
Hey, this is Confused here, calling for some advice.
5
SPEAKER_00
Uh, my, uh,
5
SPEAKER_00
wife approached me about three weeks ago and informed me, you know, after her stepfather passed away.
5
SPEAKER_00
It s been a year ago that her mother and him were in a almost 20-year sexless marriage.
5
SPEAKER_00
And my wife wants me to sleep with my mother-in-law, who s 70.
5
SPEAKER_00
because she knows what she ll get, that I ll treat her right.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m a little lost because, you know, I get it, but at the same time, it s just going to come bite me in the ass later.
5
SPEAKER_00
Thanks for any advice you can give me.
5
SPEAKER_01
That sounds like somebody s dad, just a regular old
5
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, but when he said I get it, I, you know, I get it, but do that got me.
5
SPEAKER_00
He understands.
5
SPEAKER_02
Can you imagine though, like your wife s mom, your wife s stepdad passes away and she looks at you and she s like, baby, you got to get in there.
5
SPEAKER_03
He s like, where, where am I getting into?
5
SPEAKER_01
And she s 70.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, like that s freaking cheesy.
5
SPEAKER_01
Does she even wanna fuck?
5
SPEAKER_03
Oh, I bet.
5
SPEAKER_03
Well, she was sexless for the past 20 years, so now her only option is her stepson?
5
SPEAKER_01
son-in-law I mean I mean her son-in-law like that dude you ve already not been fucking don t go to your son-in-law find anybody else people in their 70s be fucking Maggie nanny was fucking right before she died you know what whenever I was younger I used to think that you didn t fuck after like 30 like when you were in your 40s like you didn t fuck at all I used to think that
5
SPEAKER_01
Why?
5
SPEAKER_01
You thought everyone just dried up?
5
SPEAKER_01
I just thought that people that age didn t do it.
5
SPEAKER_04
People used to look older according to video back in the 90s.
5
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
No, people be fucking into their 80s.
5
SPEAKER_02
I know.
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, people mess around till their last breath.
5
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I know that now, but like when I was in like middle school, high school, even high school, I remember thinking, oh, they don t have sex anymore when you re at that age.
5
SPEAKER_02
I ll be nutting till the day I die.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
I ll be nutting.
5
SPEAKER_03
You ll be one of those people that pass away like daring their nut.
5
SPEAKER_02
We, we, uh, me and Greg just assumed that, uh, his parents like never had sex.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh God.
5
SPEAKER_02
And this was like a year ago.
5
SPEAKER_02
Oh, God.
5
SPEAKER_02
We were down there visiting them.
5
SPEAKER_02
We were in the car.
5
SPEAKER_02
It was Greg s parents and me and Greg in the back.
5
SPEAKER_02
And Roger was like, oh, I ve got to stop by the pharmacy, the drive-thru pharmacy and pick up.
5
SPEAKER_02
It was like late.
5
SPEAKER_02
Like, all right.
5
SPEAKER_02
So we were driving by.
5
SPEAKER_02
And he s like, oh, I m here to pick something up.
5
SPEAKER_02
And she was naming off all this medication that he needed.
5
SPEAKER_02
Like, she goes, I just want to be sure you re here to pick up.
5
SPEAKER_02
And she listed off a couple.
5
SPEAKER_02
And then she listed off and the Viagra.
5
SPEAKER_02
And he goes, yep.
5
SPEAKER_01
He didn t know she was going to list it off.
5
SPEAKER_02
And it got real quiet in the car, not a word.
5
SPEAKER_02
And then I go, damn, Roger s still tapping it.
5
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
And everybody starts laughing.
5
SPEAKER_02
And Greg goes, stop it, Chelsea.
5
SPEAKER_02
I go, he s still tapping.
5
SPEAKER_04
Greg gets upset if you say anything like that.
5
SPEAKER_02
And they re, I mean, you know, they re late 60.
5
SPEAKER_02
He ll be 69.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_03
It s not going away.
5
SPEAKER_02
You re horny.
5
SPEAKER_02
You re horny.
5
SPEAKER_02
You re horny.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yes.
5
SPEAKER_02
But let s get back to the question.
5
SPEAKER_02
OK, OK, OK.
5
SPEAKER_02
Which is wild.
5
SPEAKER_02
Her mom was in a sexist marriage for 20 years.
5
SPEAKER_02
She wants her husband to step up and go fuck her mom.
5
SPEAKER_02
I don t know if that s a really nice thing to do for your mom or a very
5
SPEAKER_02
It s an odd thing.
5
SPEAKER_03
If she s asking, it s already a little... If she is serious about it, then I don t think that will come back and bite you in the ass with her because she s already in it.
5
SPEAKER_03
But who knows?
5
SPEAKER_03
The mother might start falling in love with your cock and catching feelings for you.
5
SPEAKER_03
Or what if that could bite you in the ass?
5
SPEAKER_03
What if you like fucking her mom more than her?
5
SPEAKER_02
I say you set up your mom a dating app profile.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, go get her on farmers only or something.
5
SPEAKER_03
There s so many other options.
5
SPEAKER_02
She can have a cock over that same night.
5
SPEAKER_03
And people love fucking older people too.
5
SPEAKER_03
There s a kink in that.
5
SPEAKER_02
But maybe she s like, the mother doesn t want that.
5
SPEAKER_02
She doesn t want a random.
5
SPEAKER_02
They don t want a random for the mom.
5
SPEAKER_02
They want someone that she knows.
5
SPEAKER_02
Keep it in the family.
5
SPEAKER_02
Keep it in the family.
5
SPEAKER_02
Not blood, but keep it in the family.
5
SPEAKER_01
They don t want somebody to come in and take their inheritance, probably.
5
SPEAKER_01
Who knows?
5
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_03
But she doesn t have to give it all up with a one-night stand.
5
SPEAKER_02
Man, but she s got to get some.
5
SPEAKER_02
That s what the daughter s saying.
5
SPEAKER_02
She s got to get some.
5
SPEAKER_03
She s webby, webby.
5
SPEAKER_03
She needs cleaned out.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
I don t even know what to say.
5
SPEAKER_03
If a hole is unused for over 20 years,
6
SPEAKER_04
Okay, would you, would you have Brett fuck your mom?
6
SPEAKER_02
Uh, no.
6
SPEAKER_02
Why?
6
SPEAKER_02
No, but...
6
SPEAKER_02
No, but he can actually get me off during sex.
6
SPEAKER_02
So I ve even thought like, oh, since you ve never gotten off during sex, like, well, why doesn t Brett just fuck you?
6
SPEAKER_02
You know, but like, it s just kind of like a joke.
6
SPEAKER_04
You mean hole wise.
6
SPEAKER_04
I ve never had that.
6
SPEAKER_04
I ve never orgasmed with just Weiner.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
So, but I don t know.
6
SPEAKER_02
No, I wouldn t.
6
SPEAKER_02
Brett would not be my first option to go be fucking my mom, anybody else.
6
SPEAKER_02
And then probably Brett if he was the last option.
6
SPEAKER_00
We would have to not use a condom because the condom gets in the way, I feel, of the tip.
6
SPEAKER_04
Oh, and you have a big tip, you said?
6
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
And I wonder if the son is using a condom on the mom.
6
SPEAKER_04
I don t know.
6
SPEAKER_04
What if the mom doesn t even want to do it?
6
SPEAKER_02
She probably doesn t even know.
6
SPEAKER_04
Listen, this is my advice to you.
6
SPEAKER_04
I think it s too, uh, too, uh... Incest-y.
6
SPEAKER_04
A little too incest-y, for sure, but a little too, I think... Inbred-y.
6
SPEAKER_04
A little too inbred-y, that too, but a little, uh... Yeah, I just wouldn t do that.
6
SPEAKER_04
I m being serious.
6
SPEAKER_02
No, I wouldn t.
6
SPEAKER_02
Not today.
6
SPEAKER_02
No, think on this.
6
SPEAKER_02
Who knows?
6
SPEAKER_02
My opinion could change in a freaking year.
6
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
You know, we ve had the podcast going on for quite some time now, and we re starting to get to the point where if we ve repeated a story a couple of times, it was probably different from the first time we said it.
6
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
People will latch onto those, start making videos.
6
SPEAKER_04
Well, and you remember things differently at different times.
6
SPEAKER_02
Or it depends to what how the conversations going and flowing like if we re moving on to a different topic you can t squeeze everything or you know sometimes you just say shit wrong and it s okay.
6
SPEAKER_02
For sure.
6
SPEAKER_02
Humans fuck up.
6
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Hello and welcome to the Moo Moo commercials.
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And the gummies are delicious.
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6
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Hey, thank you for calling in.
6
SPEAKER_04
I just, you know, I would sit on this one for a while.
6
SPEAKER_04
See if she gets a boyfriend first.
6
SPEAKER_04
Who knows?
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, check out the other options and we hope the best for you.
6
SPEAKER_02
Yes.
6
SPEAKER_02
And call back in and let us know, please.
6
SPEAKER_04
Please.
6
SPEAKER_04
If we don t play your call and we get too many calls, message us on Instagram.
6
SPEAKER_04
Let us know what happened.
6
SPEAKER_04
Thank you for calling in.
6
SPEAKER_02
Love ya.
6
SPEAKER_01
Hello there!
6
SPEAKER_01
What s up, honeys?
6
SPEAKER_01
My name is Cash.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m a, uh...
6
SPEAKER_01
I m just gonna say I m a Floridian.
6
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, I just started listening to y all s podcast and I immediately fell in love.
6
SPEAKER_01
Chelsea, you re fucking amazing.
6
SPEAKER_01
Paige, you re fucking amazing.
6
SPEAKER_01
Brett, you re cool as hell.
6
SPEAKER_01
Anyway, I got something to share with y all.
6
SPEAKER_01
Something that s like been on my chest.
6
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, I don t really know what to do in this situation.
6
SPEAKER_01
So I met this girl.
6
SPEAKER_01
So it was beautiful and we were vibing and went on a few dates.
6
SPEAKER_01
And in my mind, you know, I was kind of like, Ooh, maybe she s the one, you know, like anyway, you know, not hopping into too fast, but you know, I had some really strong feelings.
6
SPEAKER_01
And so one night we re hooking up and, uh, she s, you know, she s a little freaky freak.
6
SPEAKER_01
If I m over here, just totally like in awe cause she, you know, takes my pants off.
6
SPEAKER_01
bends me over and start tongue punching my fart box.
6
SPEAKER_01
And it was just wild to me like that was my first time and I was like, you know, whoa, man.
6
SPEAKER_01
And I got so excited that I accidentally farted.
6
SPEAKER_01
And it was so embarrassing.
6
SPEAKER_01
And she immediately got up and just left.
6
SPEAKER_01
She looked at me in disgust and left and I was I was like, Oh, I m so sorry.
6
SPEAKER_01
And she was just like, Oh, no,
6
SPEAKER_01
and left and uh you know it was it was an accident you know i was so just taken back all at the same time i was experiencing so much pleasure that i just i got comfortable i farted anyway i didn t i ve been really wanting to contact her but i haven t so what do y all think i should do i love you honey oh yeah
6
SPEAKER_04
Hey, we love you.
6
SPEAKER_04
Uh, thank you for joining us.
6
SPEAKER_04
You know, as a rock fucker, we have a lot of new listeners.
6
SPEAKER_04
Thank you guys for joining us and sticking around, dude.
6
SPEAKER_02
And thank you for the super spreaders.
6
SPEAKER_02
Just spread in the word, the good word.
6
SPEAKER_04
Yes.
6
SPEAKER_02
Honestly, for this call though, that s on her.
6
SPEAKER_02
If you re going to on, on, and what s that word?
6
SPEAKER_02
Unexpectedly eat somebody s asshole.
6
SPEAKER_02
Then you got to know what s coming.
6
SPEAKER_02
Do you plan it though?
6
SPEAKER_02
It, yeah, for a guy.
6
SPEAKER_04
I feel like that s the worst thing that could have happened besides shitting.
6
SPEAKER_04
You know, like that s, that s every person s fear and you did it to her.
6
SPEAKER_02
But on your first time like fucking and you don t know your asshole s just going to get tapped into like that and spread.
6
SPEAKER_02
You re not always ready for that.
6
SPEAKER_02
Are you spreading during ass eating?
6
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
If you re a face down ass up.
6
SPEAKER_04
I m just thinking, I don t get how y all let farts slip out without knowing.
6
SPEAKER_04
All the time, Greg, you are like, oh, I just farted.
7
SPEAKER_03
I m a seeper.
7
SPEAKER_03
See, I don t see how you seep and let things, you get relaxed and things, like I, if I m farting, I m fucking pushing.
7
SPEAKER_03
I m fucking pushing something out.
7
SPEAKER_03
I know I m gonna fart.
7
SPEAKER_03
Or I ll clench that fucker till I die.
7
SPEAKER_02
If I need to.
7
SPEAKER_02
My clenches are what brings the seeps.
7
SPEAKER_03
Just saying seeps right now Jeepers seepers But I know unless you re like lifting something heavy a fart should never just come out Even then it s not slipping out not unless you push.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh Dude, I sneeze and far I cough and far that s a little different
7
SPEAKER_03
Because of your cough, yeah, your stomach muscles, but no, you re laying there getting your ass ate.
7
SPEAKER_02
Don t fart!
7
SPEAKER_02
Put your face down and your ass up and see what happens, though.
7
SPEAKER_02
See, I m not gonna do it in that position.
7
SPEAKER_02
You re doing baby cradle, or like where you lift the legs up.
7
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
Even that could produce something.
7
SPEAKER_02
You re trying to hold your leg, or like, you re crunching your abs a little.
7
SPEAKER_03
And I m trying to be nice with you here.
7
SPEAKER_03
because you sound like a really cool dude, and it was an accident, I get that, but I m putting myself in her shoes.
7
SPEAKER_03
If I m, number one, eating a man s ass, and he farts, I m so done.
7
SPEAKER_03
I would have walked off too.
7
SPEAKER_02
But you was not prepared.
7
SPEAKER_02
She should have let him know beforehand, hey, do you want your ass ate?
7
SPEAKER_02
So he could have pushed out whatever needed to be out.
7
SPEAKER_03
But she was eating it for a minute, though, and he said he got comfortable, and it slipped.
7
SPEAKER_02
Don t ever get too comfortable.
7
SPEAKER_02
Also, I m putting myself in his situation.
7
SPEAKER_02
That s embarrassing as fuck.
7
SPEAKER_02
I don t think it s that embarrassing, though.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I d be mortified!
7
SPEAKER_02
But just text her and say, hey, you ve never farted on accident before, or what?
7
SPEAKER_02
Or just say, sorry, I farted in your face.
7
SPEAKER_02
It won t happen again.
7
SPEAKER_02
It sounds like it s been a while, though.
7
SPEAKER_03
It s been a while since I have.
7
SPEAKER_03
He s still thinking about it?
7
SPEAKER_02
He s still ass-hurt about it.
7
SPEAKER_02
Just say what I said.
7
SPEAKER_02
Just make it a joke and light-hearted and say, sorry I farted in your face or something.
7
Oh god.
7
SPEAKER_03
Imagine someone farting in my face.
7
SPEAKER_03
What s happened?
7
SPEAKER_02
My friend used to smell my farts back in the days.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh no.
7
SPEAKER_02
She would like loved it.
7
SPEAKER_03
I told Chelsea when we were little mine smelt like roses and she sniffed it.
7
SPEAKER_03
She got you.
7
SPEAKER_02
Chelsea doesn t remember that one.
7
SPEAKER_03
No, I do remember that.
7
SPEAKER_03
Well, because I did the same to you.
7
SPEAKER_03
I think I started it.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh, shit.
7
SPEAKER_02
She got me first.
7
SPEAKER_03
I remember being in the back seat.
7
SPEAKER_03
We were driving through Iona.
7
SPEAKER_03
And I had farted.
7
SPEAKER_03
I put it, I think I put it in something.
7
SPEAKER_03
Cup it in?
7
SPEAKER_02
Your hands?
7
SPEAKER_03
I cupped it or something.
7
SPEAKER_03
And I was like, smell it.
7
SPEAKER_03
You re like, no, I go, smell it.
7
SPEAKER_03
I go, I swear to God, it smells like roses.
7
SPEAKER_03
And you, you being, we were like six.
7
SPEAKER_03
And you go, and you were so mad that it did not smell.
7
SPEAKER_03
And I got you back probably.
7
SPEAKER_02
Butter cupping people is the best, dude.
7
SPEAKER_02
Butter cup?
7
SPEAKER_02
You wouldn t call it butter cupping?
7
SPEAKER_02
I ve never heard that.
7
SPEAKER_00
Really?
7
SPEAKER_02
You would fart in your hand and go throw it in people s face.
7
SPEAKER_03
Greg still does that shit.
7
SPEAKER_00
Butter cup.
7
SPEAKER_03
I didn t know it was called butter cup.
7
SPEAKER_03
But, um,
7
SPEAKER_03
Text her and see what happens.
7
SPEAKER_03
Just text her.
7
SPEAKER_03
What do you got to lose?
7
SPEAKER_03
You already farted in her face.
7
SPEAKER_03
She s already gone.
7
SPEAKER_03
She s already gone.
7
SPEAKER_03
She can t be more pissed.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_03
You know what I mean?
7
SPEAKER_03
Just do it.
7
SPEAKER_03
He must have pushed it out.
7
SPEAKER_03
He s saying he didn t, Maggie.
7
SPEAKER_03
If you are an ass eater.
7
SPEAKER_03
You can tell if it was a slip toot or if it was a full-blown fart in her face.
7
SPEAKER_03
Imagine licking someone s asshole and they fart.
7
SPEAKER_03
I would, I would fucking lose my mind.
7
SPEAKER_00
You think she would have liked it?
7
SPEAKER_03
Hold on.
7
SPEAKER_03
I would lose my fucking mind.
7
SPEAKER_02
Chelsea, if you re an avid ass eater, you have to expect that something s coming out of it.
7
SPEAKER_02
Don t then I m not it.
7
SPEAKER_02
No.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, exactly.
7
SPEAKER_02
She put herself in that position.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah I ve already the mouth.
7
SPEAKER_03
I ll fucking I would fucking die right there Mmm, you have to have the ass-eating mentality
7
SPEAKER_02
You do.
7
SPEAKER_02
You have to think differently.
7
SPEAKER_02
Because, you know, it s gonna happen.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s air.
7
SPEAKER_03
This is a hard one.
7
SPEAKER_03
You know, maybe she s forgiven you by now and she s too embarrassed to message you.
7
SPEAKER_03
Who knows?
7
SPEAKER_03
Just try it and see what happens.
7
SPEAKER_02
Maybe just get her a bunch of presents with things with like air in them.
7
SPEAKER_02
Balloons.
7
SPEAKER_02
What are some other?
7
SPEAKER_02
Air Jordans.
7
SPEAKER_02
Can you repair Air Jordans?
7
SPEAKER_02
Maybe give her some tic-tacs.
7
SPEAKER_02
An Aristotle something.
7
SPEAKER_03
An Aristotle book or something.
7
SPEAKER_03
Anything with air.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_03
Fresh air.
7
SPEAKER_02
A fresh start.
7
SPEAKER_02
What are some other air things?
7
SPEAKER_03
A fresh start from the fart.
7
SPEAKER_02
Fresh start from the fart, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, say that.
7
SPEAKER_02
Write that on.
7
SPEAKER_03
Hey, can we have a fresh start from the fart?
7
SPEAKER_03
If he s texting her all that, it d be hard to say no.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I d be back.
7
SPEAKER_02
I d be laughing.
7
SPEAKER_03
Me too.
7
SPEAKER_02
Make her an airy cake.
7
SPEAKER_03
Get her a gift card from Aeropostale.
7
SPEAKER_02
Take her on an airplane.
7
SPEAKER_02
Take her to the Air Force Academy and what else?
7
SPEAKER_00
air it out.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
Let s just let it air it out.
7
SPEAKER_02
And we say, Hey, can we air?
7
SPEAKER_03
Well, thank you for calling.
7
SPEAKER_02
So fun.
7
SPEAKER_02
Thank you for calling in honey.
7
SPEAKER_02
We love you.
7
SPEAKER_01
Hey honey, life story here.
7
SPEAKER_01
I used to be friends with this girl, um, who was known to have life for since at least
7
SPEAKER_01
junior high and she is currently a grown 35-year-old woman.
7
SPEAKER_01
Anyways, I was hanging out at her house minding my own business and I saw her pull a bug out of her hair and then put it on the screen of her phone and kill it, pop it,
7
SPEAKER_01
popped the fucking life bug on the screen of her phone and then flicked it off into the floor like nobody was watching.
7
SPEAKER_01
Whole time I m at her house.
7
SPEAKER_01
Um, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
Never in my life has that ever happened before or since then.
7
SPEAKER_01
And, um, we are not friends now and I ve been dying to tell this story.
7
SPEAKER_01
And if I had to guess, this bitch probably still has life.
7
SPEAKER_01
Um, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_03
I m the friend.
7
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that s what I was thinking.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, you re doing the pop, lice and drop it.
7
SPEAKER_02
Pop, lice and drop it.
7
SPEAKER_02
You can pop lice.
7
SPEAKER_03
Well, when I was a kid, I was the lice queen.
7
SPEAKER_03
Well, we always had head lice.
7
SPEAKER_03
We always had lice.
7
SPEAKER_02
Lice for life.
7
SPEAKER_03
Always.
7
SPEAKER_03
It was impossible to get rid of.
7
SPEAKER_03
my head just started itching.
7
SPEAKER_03
So wait, and you would just pull them out and pop them?
7
SPEAKER_03
Well, some lice are teeny tiny.
7
SPEAKER_03
You couldn t get them if you wanted.
7
SPEAKER_03
We would pop them.
7
SPEAKER_03
And then sometimes you would, I don t know what the difference was between them.
7
SPEAKER_03
Sometimes they were so big that you could, and I would pick them out and this was so satisfying to do.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I would have fucking loved lice.
7
SPEAKER_03
I would pick out a big, a big fucker.
7
SPEAKER_02
Is it kind of like those bobas that you can pop?
7
SPEAKER_02
Like that big?
7
SPEAKER_02
Or how big are we talking?
7
SPEAKER_03
Like a tick?
7
SPEAKER_03
Way smaller.
7
SPEAKER_03
The size of a- smaller than a gnat.
7
SPEAKER_03
But still big enough to fuck with.
7
SPEAKER_03
I would pull it out- They re hard.
7
SPEAKER_03
You have to pop them.
7
SPEAKER_03
They re hard.
7
SPEAKER_03
I would put it on my thumbnail.
7
SPEAKER_03
I would take my other thumbnail and pop it, and it made this loud popping noise, and it was so satisfying to kill that motherfucker.
7
SPEAKER_02
That was just living in your head.
7
SPEAKER_03
Because you couldn t just pick them out and throw them.
7
SPEAKER_03
They would get right back in your head.
7
SPEAKER_03
You had to pop them.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, right.
7
SPEAKER_02
You had to.
7
SPEAKER_02
Make sure you hear that noise before you re done with them.
7
SPEAKER_03
I don t think this lady expected to hear this answer, but we re like, we re the friend who ve loved Pop Slice.
7
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I m always digging at my recurring scab and just who knows where those are flying.
7
SPEAKER_02
They re flying all over the place.
8
SPEAKER_00
But the lice, I mean, what would you do with it after the fingernail flick?
8
SPEAKER_01
Just, once it s smashed, I just get, you know, you just get rid of it.
8
SPEAKER_00
You wouldn t get up and go throw it away?
8
SPEAKER_01
She probably doesn t have lice anymore either.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m sure she...
8
SPEAKER_01
I don t think I, I don t remember doing it in the house.
8
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
8
SPEAKER_01
Maybe I did flick them on the carpet.
8
SPEAKER_01
We were doing it all over the place.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
Popping and flicking.
8
SPEAKER_01
But it was so satisfying to pick them out and then pop them with your thumb.
8
SPEAKER_00
Was your scalp itchy as hell like all of you guys?
8
SPEAKER_00
Uh huh.
8
SPEAKER_01
We d get it so bad we d get sores and shit.
8
SPEAKER_01
You never had head lice as a kid?
8
SPEAKER_01
It s weird to me that people don t, have never had it.
8
SPEAKER_00
And I had friends and people all around me all the time with it.
8
SPEAKER_00
And no.
8
SPEAKER_01
We always had head lice.
8
SPEAKER_01
See, nowadays, they don t kick you out of school.
8
SPEAKER_01
They ll let you go to school with head lice.
8
SPEAKER_01
Used to, they wouldn t let you go to school.
8
SPEAKER_01
And why are kids more prone than adults?
8
SPEAKER_01
I haven t had it in since I was 10, 12.
8
SPEAKER_01
I think because you go to school usually.
8
SPEAKER_01
Because the school and all the kids sleep on the floor.
8
SPEAKER_01
But you go to work and there s all the people.
8
SPEAKER_01
You go to home and there s all the people.
8
SPEAKER_01
You know what I mean?
8
SPEAKER_00
Maybe you re just better hygiene as an adult.
8
SPEAKER_01
No, they say that lice like clean.
8
SPEAKER_01
Lice won t live in a dirty head.
8
SPEAKER_01
So it s the opposite.
8
SPEAKER_01
Because people think, oh, people with lice are dirty.
8
SPEAKER_01
Quite the opposite.
8
SPEAKER_01
Lice will not live in a dirty head.
8
SPEAKER_00
Then how the hell are these kids?
8
SPEAKER_02
So why should you shampoo then?
8
SPEAKER_00
I don t.
8
SPEAKER_01
Good question, Brett.
8
SPEAKER_00
Maybe that s why they don t have lice.
8
SPEAKER_00
I ve always been dirty.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, no.
8
SPEAKER_00
But I m a lice picker.
8
SPEAKER_00
How could you not pick and flick?
8
SPEAKER_00
Because you re not just going to want those things chilling on your head.
8
SPEAKER_01
They used to get stuck in your fingernails.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
8
SPEAKER_01
I would itch my head and if I had a really bad case of this, I would itch my head and they d be under my fingernails.
8
SPEAKER_00
Just crawling?
8
SPEAKER_01
Hundreds of them.
8
SPEAKER_01
I mean, maybe not that many.
8
SPEAKER_01
In each finger.
8
SPEAKER_01
Not in each finger, but in all the scratch.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
I d probably have one or two.
8
SPEAKER_01
20 per finger.
8
SPEAKER_01
Really?
8
SPEAKER_01
Maggie s getting 20 per finger.
8
SPEAKER_00
20 per finger?
8
SPEAKER_01
Ew.
8
SPEAKER_01
God, it s so gross.
8
SPEAKER_01
But I wouldn t like... The kids have had lice like three times.
8
SPEAKER_01
But if I had a friend over, personally, I wouldn t pick and smash in front of a friend.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, know the time and place to do that.
8
SPEAKER_01
Maybe it s just habit for her.
8
SPEAKER_01
I wouldn t put it on my phone and do it in front of a friend.
8
SPEAKER_01
I d wait until they went home.
8
SPEAKER_01
I d go to the bathroom.
8
SPEAKER_01
But I was a popper.
8
SPEAKER_00
I thought she was doing it at her friend s house.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
Was she not?
8
SPEAKER_00
Was she at the friend s house or the friend was at her?
8
SPEAKER_00
I m confused.
8
SPEAKER_01
She was at her friend s house.
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
8
SPEAKER_00
I mean, she s in her own house.
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh, man.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so.
8
SPEAKER_00
I couldn t not stop, like, if somebody was popping Lysa, I don t know if I would just stop being friends with them.
8
SPEAKER_00
I would probably speak to them and be like, hey, can you stop?
8
SPEAKER_01
No, you ve been picking them and popping them too.
8
SPEAKER_01
You ve been picking them.
8
SPEAKER_00
You would pick them out of my head and pop them with me.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s true.
8
SPEAKER_00
I would be that friend, but she s so turned off by it.
8
SPEAKER_00
Like, maybe tell her so she doesn t think, why did she stop talking to me?
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
I think you should let her know, hey, it s because... 20 years later, hey, it s me from junior high.
8
SPEAKER_01
I stopped talking to you because you used to pop your lice in front of me.
8
SPEAKER_01
Can you imagine?
8
SPEAKER_01
I d be mortified.
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh, shit.
8
SPEAKER_01
Well, best of luck to both of you.
8
SPEAKER_01
Let s hope she doesn t have lice anymore.
8
SPEAKER_01
A lifetime of lice?
8
SPEAKER_00
Nah, she don t.
8
SPEAKER_01
Does a male get it out?
8
SPEAKER_01
A lot of things will help, but it s- Pinesol?
8
SPEAKER_01
It s almost like- Our granny used to dump our heads in pinesol.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that was wild.
8
SPEAKER_01
And that shit burned.
8
SPEAKER_00
You said in bleach or something, too?
8
SPEAKER_01
Yes, because they couldn t afford the lice shampoo.
8
SPEAKER_01
The lice shampoo was expensive.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
I wish you guys had GoFundMe for yourselves back in the day.
8
SPEAKER_00
So we could ve got you fed and... Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
Love you guys.
8
SPEAKER_01
Love you, honeys.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m happy that you guys can leave the plate empty now.
8
SPEAKER_01
We re leaving that plate empty, baby.
8
SPEAKER_01
Every plate I come across.
8
SPEAKER_00
Plate s empty.
8
SPEAKER_01
Well, thank you for calling in, honeys.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, love ya.
8
SPEAKER_00
Love you.
8
SPEAKER_00
And love you lice people.
8
SPEAKER_02
Going on girls.
8
SPEAKER_02
So, uh, recently then, uh, listening to your podcast, my partner, uh, loves you guys.
8
SPEAKER_02
She, uh, you know, listens to you guys every day.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s been a really fun thing to, uh, you know, open up and find you guys, uh, the level of expression you guys, you know, press out there about sexual comfortability in life, you know, you know, doing your thing.
8
SPEAKER_02
I just love that you guys are doing that and are, you know, helping people feel that way.
8
SPEAKER_02
So I ve got a funny story because, you know, three, you know, some years ago I found my partner and I manifested her.
8
SPEAKER_02
I don t know how, just kept asking the universe and good Lord, we found each other.
8
SPEAKER_02
But, uh, you know, we re finally, I finally have somebody that s into all those weird kinks, you know, and we share all those things.
8
SPEAKER_02
And, uh,
8
SPEAKER_02
you know, we got into a point where, you know, like, let s try, uh, you know, this, this chastity thing.
8
SPEAKER_02
Like that s, that s kind of kinky.
8
SPEAKER_02
Like, what s up with that?
8
SPEAKER_02
And, you know, so purchase the chastity cage and fucking put it on and Holy shit.
8
SPEAKER_02
That was weird.
8
SPEAKER_02
And it was great because, you know, like the level of just like relationship we had,
8
SPEAKER_02
was awesome to know that it wasn t like a demand.
8
SPEAKER_02
It was an allowance for the two of us to see who we both were.
8
SPEAKER_02
And I don t know, it was cool.
8
SPEAKER_02
So, uh, the first time I put this steel cage on with a lock that she takes the key to work, she ends up getting into a car accident.
8
SPEAKER_02
She broke, you know, multiple bones was completely
8
SPEAKER_02
in the hospital for the next, you know, three to four months.
8
SPEAKER_02
And how the fuck am I going to get this thing off my cock?
8
SPEAKER_02
Like, I didn t think about it until I got there.
8
SPEAKER_02
And I realized like, shit, where s all her clothes?
8
SPEAKER_02
Where s her pockets?
8
SPEAKER_02
Where s your stuff?
8
SPEAKER_02
They re like, Oh, no, that s all, you know, later.
8
SPEAKER_02
How do I get this off?
8
SPEAKER_02
She s
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_02
So, you know what I m saying?
8
SPEAKER_02
That was, that was, that was kind of weird.
8
SPEAKER_02
Um, ended up having to like purchase like some small bolt cutters to cut the lock off of, you know, the case, you know, so that was weird.
8
SPEAKER_02
But, um, yeah, I just thought that d be a funny story to share with you guys.
8
SPEAKER_02
Cause you know, love is amazing and we do weird things for each other.
8
SPEAKER_02
She s doing great by the way.
8
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
8
SPEAKER_01
What a cool guy.
8
SPEAKER_00
Damn, to just have your cock locked.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s wild.
8
SPEAKER_00
Is there any pressure on it or anything that could be hurting it?
8
SPEAKER_01
I don t know how that works.
8
SPEAKER_00
I don t know, it s just caged up.
8
SPEAKER_00
How are you locking a cock in?
8
SPEAKER_00
I m so confused.
8
SPEAKER_00
And walking around with it.
8
SPEAKER_00
Can we pull it up or no?
8
SPEAKER_00
I mean, what would you look up?
8
SPEAKER_00
Cock lock?
8
SPEAKER_00
He said chastity.
8
SPEAKER_00
Chastity.
8
SPEAKER_00
Is it a chastity belt or what?
8
SPEAKER_01
It is a chastity cage.
8
SPEAKER_01
I ve seen the...
8
SPEAKER_01
We got to look this up, guys, before we talk about it.
8
SPEAKER_01
Chastity Cage.
8
SPEAKER_01
That was the last call, too.
8
SPEAKER_02
I can send it to you.
8
SPEAKER_00
I am glad your girlfriend is OK.
8
SPEAKER_01
So they have some steel ones and some soft ones, some like that looks like it s made from silicone.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
8
SPEAKER_01
So some steel and some but but even the silicone one has a hard lock on it, a steel lock.
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh, he had to get the hard cutter.
8
SPEAKER_00
So he s.
8
SPEAKER_01
I like the one with the electric shock on it.
8
SPEAKER_00
Can I see it?
8
SPEAKER_00
Is there a picture of the wiener in it?
8
SPEAKER_00
It s $119.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s on sale.
9
SPEAKER_02
Because you re... I don t get it.
9
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
9
SPEAKER_02
I know, I don t get how it stays.
9
SPEAKER_02
But... Exactly.
9
SPEAKER_02
I do.
9
SPEAKER_00
You guys don t have dicks.
9
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_02
The fact that, I mean, what are the odds?
9
SPEAKER_02
Bless his heart.
9
SPEAKER_02
They need to have a spare key at the house hidden somewhere.
9
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_03
Go get some new keys made.
9
SPEAKER_00
Can you see the little metal thing that s around the balls?
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_00
That s kind of what kind of locks it in.
9
SPEAKER_02
The ball area.
9
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_03
Maybe she was just like totally playing into the role, you know, a little too much.
9
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_02
A little too much.
9
SPEAKER_02
Oh my gosh.
9
SPEAKER_02
Thank y all for, thank you for calling in and sharing that.
9
SPEAKER_02
That is, it s funny, but it s not.
9
SPEAKER_02
That call is wild.
9
SPEAKER_03
To have, to be looking for the key and you have that metal thing around your dick in the hospital.
9
SPEAKER_02
Can you imagine once she like finally like woke up and felt better and was out of surgeries or whatever and he s like you know how you know like everything s the initial like oh my gosh like you know you feel how you feeling and then him and then him being like
9
SPEAKER_02
So remember when, yeah, and Herbie like, oh fuck.
9
SPEAKER_03
He s like, you remember that swimmer Ryan Locke, trying to bring up anything but it?
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_03
Because the family was probably all there.
9
SPEAKER_02
Oh my goodness, man.
9
SPEAKER_02
Thank you for calling in.
9
SPEAKER_02
Thank you guys for supporting the podcast.
9
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I love you.
9
SPEAKER_03
Love all of you.
9
SPEAKER_03
Love the spreaders, love the shredders, love the freaking molikis, the molklikis.
9
SPEAKER_03
Keep clicking around because our merch, we have the new merch that drops every month for the monthly merch drops, so theviralpodcast.co.
9
SPEAKER_02
New monthly merch drops, theviralpodcast.co.
9
SPEAKER_02
These are cool shirts.
9
SPEAKER_03
We need to get some crew necks.
9
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_02
For sure.
9
SPEAKER_02
We ll work on it.
9
SPEAKER_03
Are you, like, hoodies more or crewnecks?
9
SPEAKER_03
Both.
9
SPEAKER_03
I feel like crewnecks are just so easy to slip on.
9
SPEAKER_02
It s about to be summer, though.
9
SPEAKER_02
It s about to be hot.
9
SPEAKER_03
I know, but there s summer nights.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_03
Oh, crewneck.
9
SPEAKER_03
Summer lovin , don t need me a crewneck.
9
SPEAKER_03
Eat my ass.
9
SPEAKER_03
Summer lovin .
9
SPEAKER_03
Okay, well, is that everything?
9
SPEAKER_03
Got me so fast.
9
SPEAKER_03
All right.
9
SPEAKER_00
We made out.
9
SPEAKER_03
Hey, Brett, lean back.
9
SPEAKER_03
Hey, Brett, it s your dad.
9
SPEAKER_03
Alright, love you guys so much.
9
SPEAKER_03
Don t forget to give us a call.
9
SPEAKER_03
And our phone number is... 4-4-2-7-7-7-3-3-3-1 And always remember, you re doing great!
9
SPEAKER_02
You re looking good.
9
SPEAKER_03
And fuck what everybody else thinks!
9
SPEAKER_01
Woo!
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
9
SPEAKER_02
Aeropostal.
9
SPEAKER_03
Aeropostal.
9
SPEAKER_03
Dude, I got a shit.