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I need to make a personal introduction.
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Okay, let s do it.
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You re about to hear the wisdom of two guys that I know very personally, not just as business acquaintances, but as friends.
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Adam, especially, has been son-like to me over the course of the last 20-something years.
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And Mark Englund, too, has gained my total respect for how he thinks and what he says.
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Yeah.
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No, it goes further than that.
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Jan has become
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I ve become certified through, that doesn t sound good if I stop there, huh?
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I ve gained a certificate of their program, The Unlifted Method, and it s a coaching methodology and it s amazing.
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It s really, really incredible.
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It s helped so many of my clients.
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It s helped me and this is crazy, okay?
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There are no coincidences in life.
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So I was on Instagram and I was
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scrolling on through, you know, like normal people do.
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And I came across this really interesting post that caught my attention.
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And then I realized it was from this guy, Mark.
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And I thought, I think that guy s been to our house.
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He looks so familiar.
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And so I start, you know, Instagram stalking.
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And I realized that he s with this company called Unlifted.
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And then through my rabbit hole, I trace it back to Adam, who is a very good friend of ours.
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He s he created the studio, right?
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He created Jeffrey s studio back in the day.
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He s been back in the day.
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He and his wife.
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In 1478, Adam Chin came and created the studio like magic.
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Wow.
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He looks really good.
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It just appeared like a phoenix.
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1478.
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He s looking young.
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Anyway, he and his wife have been to our house.
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We love them.
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They re just gems of human beings, like total gems.
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And I m going on this Instagram rabbit hole and I m like, Jeffrey, Jeffrey, I discovered the coolest program on the internet.
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And guess who s a part of it?
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Adam and Mark.
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And so we interviewed them for Sell or Die.
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And here s the deal.
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We normally interview people for 15 or 20 minutes.
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This interview went on for over an hour and we decided to break it up into individual podcasts.
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It may even be like two hours long.
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It was so much fun.
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We had to keep going.
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SPEAKER_00
Right.
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And so over the next four weeks, you re going to be hearing part one, two, three, and four from
0
SPEAKER_00
No, we re gonna go skipping four, it s gonna be part one, two, three, four, and five, because we don t want to be too normal.
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You know what I mean?
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Well, not too normal would be 4.5.
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That s true.
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But that s already taken.
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Okay, but I m going to challenge you as the diehard to listen closely, because this information rocks.
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Welcome to the Sell or Die podcast.
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I m your host, Jeffrey Gittimer.
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And I m your host, Jen Gittimer.
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Well, in this podcast, we re gonna help you attract more qualified, unbelievable, ready to buy clients.
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We re gonna help you build loyal relationships.
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And the one thing you re hoping for, close more deals.
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Let s get into it.
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It s time to sell or die.
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I m dying to know.
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how this, the Enlifted Method has impacted each of you.
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Jen, keep it on track.
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I totally love her.
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Me too.
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Yeah.
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I went first, first.
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You go first this time.
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So the question is how has it impacted me personally?
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So what story were you telling yourself or how did it take you out of a victim mindset at some point or what... How d you come up with this?
0
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Tell us your story of how it has helped you.
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Yeah, right, right.
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So, this is a great question and I had a realization recently regarding a victim story that had been floating in my brain for a while.
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Before I get to it, I want to say that, you know, the victim mentality is not all or nothing.
0
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Like, there are stories in our lives that are going to be more victim-centric than hero-centric and we have to, you know, you re constantly gardening.
0
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You re gardening these stories, you re trimming, you re finding the ones that show up and one of the ones that had been there for a long time
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revolved around my mom and my stepfather and the chaos that was around when my parents got divorced and I was in the sauna.
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It sounds pretty, you know, goofy.
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I was in the sauna and I had this thought two months ago and it goes, I was a powerless child and they did this.
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And I go, wait, hold on a second.
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I was like, wait, hold on a second.
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That s a binary thought.
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I was powerless.
0
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I was like, no, I had some power.
0
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If you re around a child and a parent that cares, oh my God, that kid has so much power.
0
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It s not the kind of power an adult has, but that child has some sort of, there is a- Encouragement.
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You can do it.
0
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You can do it.
0
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Come on, bud.
0
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The child has leverage.
0
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The child has some agency in how the child reacts to the parents.
0
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There s lots of other ways to interpret that scenario.
0
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I had a moment and it was just like an entire weight was lifted off my shoulders where I went from like, I wasn t a powerless child.
0
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I made some decisions and yes, I was confined within this parameter.
0
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But within that parameter, I can make decisions.
0
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And so I did just like a prisoner would go to the library and sort of beat the shit out of people in the yard.
0
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You know, I decided to go to the library.
0
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So keep in mind, every one of us had a lesson in encouragement from the time they were nine or 10 months old.
0
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Kid stands up.
0
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Come on, you can walk.
0
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Come on, buddy.
0
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Walk to daddy, walk to mommy, you can do it.
0
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And then they take the first step and it s like, whoa, everything unbelievable happens, all kinds of celebration.
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So that s already burnt into your brain.
0
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You ve been encouraged at a very young age and somewhere in the back of your head, that s there.
0
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Yeah.
0
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What you re doing is unlocking it.
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And shifting the focus in a strategic way so that you can lock on to that particular memory and that particular type of recollection rather than get stuck in that one thing where things didn t go your way or that was traumatic to overuse.
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Outside influence though is going to play a big role in that.
0
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Where you go to school, who you become friends with.
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Because my mom didn t want me to be friends with Billy Dewey because he was like a bad kid and he was bad influence.
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But I love them.
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We d like the same stuff and we, you know, shit around and try to get caught at doing stuff.
0
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And so how we interpret these events in our lives, that s really what it all comes down to is how do we interpret the reality that we exist in?
0
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And do we see ourselves as having some sort of agency, you know, of internal locus of control?
0
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Can we affect it?
0
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And again, that s, you asked me the question, the direct answer is how does the lifted method work for me personally?
0
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It s, again, reclaiming some of that control, kindling more of that agency so that I can have it in my life front and center.
0
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What I have seen by going through the certification and working with people, one of the things I ve seen is that a small moment like that, where, you know, over time you felt that you were powerless,
0
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can lead to other moments in your life where that story repeats itself because it s inside of you.
0
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Absolutely.
0
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And so diehard, if you have a story like that, that you ve told yourself, there may be other areas in which you re telling yourself that same story.
0
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So maybe you feel powerless with your clients or maybe you feel powerless with your boss or
0
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It just keeps replaying until you get it out.
0
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Until you can reinterpret it, translate it.
0
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That s the key.
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So, let me be a little controversial at the moment.
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Yeah, please.
0
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If you have ever gone through addiction, which I have, if you go to a 12-step program, the first thing they tell you is that you re powerless.
0
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And I wanted to just raise my hand and go, dude, you re full of fucking bullshit.
0
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I am not powerless.
0
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I m going to make this for me.
0
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I m going to do this for me. 
0
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And every person who goes into a, whatever they call them, recovery program, a 12-step program, whatever it is, for drugs or for alcohol, a very high percentage of them fall back because their power was taken away from them and transferred into somebody else, whether it s a higher power or you re
0
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Sponsor yeah, whatever the thing like dude lace up your fucking boots and get rid of it Which is what I do.
0
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Is that a projection for the?
0
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Facilitator to say you re powerless could be depends.
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It would depend.
0
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They all say yeah, it s their mantra.
0
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Yeah Facilitator feels powerless.
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Oh, it s worth.
0
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It s worth looking at nothing more than a smoker to talk about getting rid of smoking nothing worse
0
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So they have coins for how long you ve been powerless, all kinds of shit.
0
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And it s ridiculous.
0
SPEAKER_04
Hey, look, my powerless coin just showed up.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
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17 years of being powerless.
0
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_04
I got a victim card in the mail, too.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
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I got two of them.
0
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I keep them in one of my wallets in case anybody calls victim.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
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So, Mark, how has this method helped you?
0
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Oh, yeah.
0
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It s the gift that keeps on giving.
0
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And like Adam said, this is most people s mindset when they get into the exploration phase.
0
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It s a mixed bag.
0
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So, part of them is team Mark, part of them is anti-Mark.
0
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Okay.
0
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Part of me is talking me into things, part of me is talking me out of things.
0
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And so, what the name of the game is, is to shrink down that victim mentality.
0
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Take it from a death metal concert going on in your head to a radio over in the corner.
0
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That s a very big deal.
0
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I prefer ACDC, but that s a whole other- Yeah, you know, I d rather have ACDC over in the corner than Cannibal Corpse on, you know- Yeah, but I mean, Angus Young playing in my head.
0
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I still watch the riffs after.
0
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Sure.
0
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They re unbelievable.
0
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That s a practical piece of advice Mark is giving, and we ve had a tremendous amount of success with it.
0
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Mark, one of the great things you ve said over the years is to keep the story small.
0
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We want to continually bring it down.
0
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Is it compartmentalizing it as well?
0
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No, no.
0
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It s dealing with things and trimming it back.
0
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We don t want to ignore it and avoid it and pretend it doesn t exist.
0
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We want to attend it in a way in which we are capable of in the moment.
0
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You know, just trim it down, trim it down.
0
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It s like my gray hair.
0
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It s there and I know I can do something about it.
0
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Absolutely.
0
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Well, let s look at it from an addiction standpoint.
0
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I have no hair.
0
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Mark brings up addiction as part of the process that you re negatively addicted to something or positively addicted to something.
0
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I m an addict.
0
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I don t practice anymore, but in my soul, I know.
0
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You re addicted to kicking ass, Jeffrey.
0
SPEAKER_00
Well, that s right.
0
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I have addiction qualities now that I ve just traded.
0
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I traded my addictions.
0
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We see that a lot in CrossFit, a lot in CrossFit and also in MMA.
0
SPEAKER_03
Matt Brown comes to mind, a very famous MMA fighter who was addicted to heroin and then he got addicted to MMA and his life is remarkably better.
0
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A lot of people that, last night, I was coming back from the Tim Dillon concert and whether I was making up in my head or I was reading the future or putting a positive spell on this girl just for shits and giggles, there was a mother and a daughter.
0
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She was about 16 years old and this daughter was
0
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very, very skinny.
0
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Okay.
0
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Anorexic, obviously.
0
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And I go, I just thought in my head, I was like, I bet she s done with this in two years and she gets into fitness and nutrition and she turns into something much, much more healthy and fun.
0
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Put that spell out.
0
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That s not a normal word people use in their language, a spell.
0
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So what do you?
0
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Webster s definition of a spell is a word or a combination of words of great influence.
0
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And no one will ever really love me is a combination of words that can greatly influence someone.
0
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Great things happen when I keep showing up is also a combination of words that greatly influences someone.
0
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And if you get in the habit of looking at your words, again, as opposed to knee-jerk believing what you re thinking and saying because it s you thinking
0
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and saying what you re saying.
0
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So, it has to be right.
0
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You can get in this very valuable habit of identifying your language as constrictive or expansive.
0
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So, constrictive spells, I m not good enough.
0
SPEAKER_03
Nothing works out for me.
0
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It creates that breath.
0
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It traps the breath in the chest.
0
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It s stressful, creates the dense emotions, feelings.
0
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The pictures are very scary.
0
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It tends to just collapse me down as opposed to, well, like I said, great things happen when I show up.
0
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I ve got two good stories about that if you all want to hear it real quick.
0
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, tell us.
0
SPEAKER_03
Tell us.
0
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
0
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I do want to answer your question about what the lifted method has done for me.
0
SPEAKER_03
It s gotten me unstuck on a personal level, majorly, many times.
0
SPEAKER_03
And then on a professional level, it s given me something.
0
SPEAKER_03
I was a very bad student, mainly because I just didn t care about what was being taught.
0
SPEAKER_03
I m like, this is a bunch of bullshit.
0
SPEAKER_03
Get me out of here.
0
SPEAKER_03
And so I ve fallen in love twice on site.
0
SPEAKER_03
Once was with jujitsu in 1986.
0
SPEAKER_03
And then the second was when I saw that same, he did that to me, that workshop in 2003.
0
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and it s held my attention the whole time.
0
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And after 10 years of doing this professionally, I looked around and I said, I have no more questions about what I m going to do with my professional time in life because this has held my attention for a decade.
0
SPEAKER_03
I am grateful.
0
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I commit.
0
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I married it.
0
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I m doing this for 50 years.
0
SPEAKER_03
I went into my calendar.
0
SPEAKER_03
It took me a little while to get there.
0
SPEAKER_03
Scroll down to
0
SPEAKER_03
January 17th, 2057.
0
SPEAKER_03
I m giving my last workshop, podcast, talk, whatever it is.
0
SPEAKER_03
It s my last day on the job.
0
SPEAKER_03
After 50 years, I walk.
0
SPEAKER_03
Y all do it.
0
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And then, so these two, these stories, a tale of two stories.
0
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One is constrictive and one is expansive.
0
SPEAKER_03
And then we can also bring the reticular activating system into the conversation here because it fits quite well.
0
SPEAKER_03
I ve told these stories before and we re telling again.
0
SPEAKER_03
This woman walks in and sits down.
0
SPEAKER_03
This is like year two of
0
SPEAKER_03
my second year of work.
0
SPEAKER_03
And she s very forthcoming.
0
SPEAKER_03
She said, I m having problems in my marriage.
0
SPEAKER_03
My husband thinks I m attractive.
0
SPEAKER_03
I refuse to believe him.
0
SPEAKER_03
I know when this thing got set up, I just don t know what to do about it.
0
SPEAKER_03
And it came down to one interaction, one sentence.
0
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Remember the definition of a spell, a word or a combination of words of great influence.
0
SPEAKER_03
She s 10 years old, walks into her grandparents  house for Christmas, walks in the door.
0
SPEAKER_03
As soon as she gets in there, her great aunt leans down and goes,
0
SPEAKER_03
Hi, you have a big nose, just like me.
0
SPEAKER_03
Thanks for that.
0
SPEAKER_03
Wow.
0
SPEAKER_03
Constriction, stress response.
0
SPEAKER_03
She runs into the bathroom.
0
SPEAKER_03
Of course, what was the first thing she looked at when she got in there?
0
SPEAKER_03
Her nose.
0
SPEAKER_03
Her nose, which is no bigger now than it was five seconds ago.
0
SPEAKER_03
But in her imagination, she s got a big honker, which means she s ugly.
0
SPEAKER_03
And so her reticular activating system, which I ll fill in the blanks more later, it goes on a search.
0
SPEAKER_03
Oh, right.
0
SPEAKER_03
OK, so if you re ugly, I m going to go find all the other flaws.
0
SPEAKER_03
And I m going to edit out anything because it has a search and edit function.
0
SPEAKER_03
I m going to edit out anything that s not that.
0
SPEAKER_03
Also known as compliments from your husband or positive qualities about how you look.
0
SPEAKER_00
Or you don t mean that.
0
SPEAKER_00
You re just saying that.
0
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, exactly.
0
SPEAKER_03
Baby, you look good.
0
SPEAKER_03
You don t really mean that.
0
SPEAKER_03
And then of course, that s going to cause problems.
0
SPEAKER_03
So that s a definition of a constrictive spell.
0
SPEAKER_00
And there s a comma or another word.
0
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_03
2014, I m giving a workshop and this guy s setting up a booth right next to me.
0
SPEAKER_03
He hears everything, comes up afterwards and he goes, that was really cool, man.
0
SPEAKER_03
You want to hear a great story about this?
0
SPEAKER_03
Who says no to that?
0
SPEAKER_03
Great story.
0
SPEAKER_03
No, keep that away from me.
0
SPEAKER_03
And he said, my grandfather, he was like, I was 12, 13 something.
0
SPEAKER_03
My grandfather, I m going to drop an F bomb.
0
SPEAKER_03
Is that okay?
0
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_03
No.
0
SPEAKER_03
Right.
0
SPEAKER_02
Bring it.
0
SPEAKER_02
Earmuffs children, earmuffs.
0
SPEAKER_03
Got to ask.
0
SPEAKER_03
His grandfather took him out in the backyard and we ll just call him Johnny.
0
SPEAKER_03
I forget the guy s name.
0
SPEAKER_03
He goes, Little Johnny, life s wild.
0
SPEAKER_03
It s a mixed bag.
0
SPEAKER_03
There s going to be ups and downs and zigs and zags and twists and turns and you re going to get some things right and you re going to get some things wrong.
0
SPEAKER_03
Just always remember to err on the side of being a badass motherfucker.
0
SPEAKER_03
And he said his whole life changed.
0
SPEAKER_03
Grandpa dropped an F-bomb on him.
0
SPEAKER_03
In the right way.
0
SPEAKER_03
He said my whole life changed.
0
SPEAKER_03
He said I felt like I got bigger.
0
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
0
SPEAKER_03
Take out the feel like.
0
SPEAKER_03
His energy got bigger.
0
SPEAKER_03
He said he saw himself in his imagination as capable and confident.
0
SPEAKER_03
And he goes, you know, I make a lot of mistakes.
0
SPEAKER_03
I get things right.
0
SPEAKER_03
You know what?
0
SPEAKER_03
I go after what I want.
0
SPEAKER_03
And I like being me.
0
SPEAKER_03
And I was like, you don t need to read any other books.
0
SPEAKER_03
You got it.
0
SPEAKER_03
You got it.
0
SPEAKER_03
Just keep going, bro.
0
SPEAKER_00
OK, so.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s awesome.
0
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, great story.
0
SPEAKER_00
The stories that you re conveying, especially from the woman who had a big nose,
0
SPEAKER_00
You have low self-esteem, you have limited self-image, and you have self-doubt.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I can t tell you which one is a bigger killer.
0
SPEAKER_03
I can tell you where it started, though, with the words, which is the point of this podcast.
0
SPEAKER_03
Not necessarily this podcast, but the conversation is about practical mindset, is about how to track down what statements are forcing me to make those pictures that limited self-belief and then what to do about it.
0
SPEAKER_03
First things first, write that shit down, folks.
0
SPEAKER_03
You got to break spells.
0
SPEAKER_03
That s the best way to break.
0
SPEAKER_03
That s another way to talk about what we re doing.
0
SPEAKER_00
But it s not that you re powerless.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, exactly.
0
SPEAKER_04
And Jeffrey, to this point that you and Mark are discussing now, one of the best things Mark s ever said is that, I m really not concerned why you feel this way.
0
SPEAKER_04
We can sit here and talk about why.
0
SPEAKER_04
He s like, we re in the how business.
0
SPEAKER_04
Like, how are you making yourself feel this way?
0
SPEAKER_04
That s what we can do.
0
SPEAKER_04
Because if you want to know why you feel like you have no confidence and you re worthless, well, there s therapists, there s clinicians, there s a lot of
0
SPEAKER_04
other options for you.
0
SPEAKER_04
There s a thousand people on the street that are going to have an opinion.
0
SPEAKER_04
There s opinions, there s advice.
0
SPEAKER_04
And that s fantastic.
0
SPEAKER_04
Those are great tools and we encourage people to pursue those tools when necessary.
0
SPEAKER_04
Ours is just a practical approach is how are you creating this thought pattern?
0
SPEAKER_04
How are you manufacturing this state?
0
SPEAKER_04
And then we look at it through language because it s the simplest, easiest form of evaluation.
0
SPEAKER_04
Language will teach you how to make a better argument.
0
SPEAKER_02
That distinction is so big because
0
SPEAKER_02
A lot of people want to uncover why do I feel this way and what s keeping me back and blah, blah, blah.
0
SPEAKER_02
But what you re doing is or and what you re doing is so much more than that.
0
SPEAKER_02
It s how do I make something.
0
SPEAKER_03
It s even less than that because it s simple.
0
SPEAKER_03
Why do I keep talking myself out of opportunity versus how do I keep talking myself out of opportunity?
0
SPEAKER_03
As in what words am I using to keep talking myself out of opportunity?
0
SPEAKER_03
Why do I keep having the same relationship with everybody?
0
SPEAKER_03
How do I keep having the same relationship?
0
SPEAKER_03
What words am I using every time the breakup goes the same way?
0
SPEAKER_03
I mean, that s spooky.
0
SPEAKER_00
You have a cold, wet washcloth when someone walks into your office for a session.
0
SPEAKER_00
The first thing you do is you slap the shit out of them and say, get over yourself.
0
SPEAKER_00
This is not about what happened.
0
SPEAKER_00
This is about how you live your life right now.
0
SPEAKER_04
Well, that cold rush are the words.
0
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_03
And you know what?
0
SPEAKER_03
We get them to slap themselves.
0
SPEAKER_04
That s the much more effective route here is when someone talks themselves into something.
0
SPEAKER_04
As you know, it s like with marketing.
0
SPEAKER_04
It s like when someone talks themselves into buying something, it s much more powerful than you sell it.
0
SPEAKER_04
Oh, totally.
0
SPEAKER_03
And that s why we love our customers because there s a very thick line between the people that want
0
SPEAKER_03
to snap themself with a cold wet towel because they understand we ve done a good job of explaining the value of it.
0
SPEAKER_03
I mean, how many people have we ve refunded one certification in three and a half years because she
1
SPEAKER_04
She needed something very different and she got into it needing something.
1
SPEAKER_04
I was like, yeah, so one person out of hundreds.
1
SPEAKER_04
And then the people that within a very short amount of time with interacting with our material, people know whether they love it or hate it real fast.
1
SPEAKER_04
And the people that love it, come on in.
1
SPEAKER_04
These are people that I want to very frequently hang out with personally, too.
1
SPEAKER_04
I mean, our community is something special because... It s friends.
1
SPEAKER_04
It s friends.
1
SPEAKER_00
It ends in friends.
1
SPEAKER_04
It s like-minded people, like, that have a little bit of a tolerance, a thick skin.
1
SPEAKER_04
You know, they re breathing better.
1
SPEAKER_04
They can laugh at themselves.
1
SPEAKER_04
Let s just go with that.
1
SPEAKER_04
These people can laugh at themselves.
1
SPEAKER_04
They can take a little bit of duress.
1
SPEAKER_04
They re anti-fragile, to use those words.
1
SPEAKER_01
I want to go back to washcloths for just a second.
1
SPEAKER_04
Let s do it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Because when I checked into a hotel in Honolulu and I wrote about it,
1
SPEAKER_01
they gave you a warm washcloth from your travels.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, a cool washcloth from your travels.
1
SPEAKER_01
They actually had the washcloths in the refrigerator.
1
SPEAKER_01
And you felt good.
1
SPEAKER_01
You felt refreshed.
1
SPEAKER_01
You felt okay about it.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I think people need to carry cold, wet washcloths with them so they can just get over themselves and refresh themselves and put yourselves in a like,
1
SPEAKER_01
All right, I m over that part.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m clean now.
1
SPEAKER_03
Have a way to check yourself before you wreck yourself.
1
SPEAKER_03
That s the practical mindset application.
1
SPEAKER_03
It s a self-soothing in a lot of ways.
1
SPEAKER_03
Soothing is perhaps the wrong word, but it is a way to, you know, and cognitive behavioral therapy does a very similar thing in their own way.
1
SPEAKER_03
We have our own way as well.
1
SPEAKER_03
A way to be able to recenter
1
SPEAKER_03
to reframe how you re seeing things, to understand that you re in a story, to understand that this is not necessarily true, that you re constructing events into something you can understand and that that construction can be altered and can be edited so that you can make it more constructive for you in the future.
1
SPEAKER_03
So I think that s what we give people as a way to, again, self-build maybe less than self-soothing.
1
SPEAKER_01
Everybody always feels great at the end of a movie when the crooks are put in jail and the damsel in distress is put back.
1
SPEAKER_01
They want the happy ending.
1
SPEAKER_01
Here I come to save the day.
1
SPEAKER_01
And you know that Mighty Mouse is on his way.
1
SPEAKER_01
And you can do that to yourself.
1
SPEAKER_01
You can save your own day.
1
SPEAKER_01
You can save your own way.
1
SPEAKER_01
All you have to do is believe that you can do it and be willing to risk the positive steps that it takes to be able to get there.
1
SPEAKER_03
I was telling somebody recently about it, but I ll make it really quick, is that how Jeffrey is, he has the ability to will a great day into existence.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_03
There s something that you have, and I recognized that very early.
1
SPEAKER_03
It was like, there s something that it s, again, I tried to locate exactly what it was, but you could be having a, the setting could be for a mediocre day.
1
SPEAKER_03
You would will a great day out.
1
SPEAKER_02
How do you put a spell on yourself and your sales for the rest of the year?
1
SPEAKER_01
Play the song first.
1
SPEAKER_01
Put a spell on me.
1
SPEAKER_04
Put a spell on me.
1
SPEAKER_04
Pick up your pen, write down what you want to do, okay?
1
SPEAKER_04
And then identify.
1
SPEAKER_04
So affirmations, they have a little bit of a, you know, a woo connotation.
1
SPEAKER_04
And you can see affirmations as goals for your mindset.
1
SPEAKER_04
I want to believe this statement about myself more strongly and that will, in a variety of different ways, improve my mindset or my story.
1
SPEAKER_04
Because when we talk about mindset, it s the same thing.
1
SPEAKER_04
Is it a mindset or is it a story?
1
SPEAKER_04
No, it s the same thing.
1
SPEAKER_04
They re interchangeable.
1
SPEAKER_04
Get a list of statements, full sentences.
1
SPEAKER_04
Make them singular that you would benefit from believing more strongly in.
1
SPEAKER_04
Let s go with five.
1
SPEAKER_04
Write them down on paper, okay?
1
SPEAKER_04
Say them out loud.
1
SPEAKER_04
And here s the kicker, folks, with a big breath in between each one of them.
1
SPEAKER_04
I like big breaths and I tell the truth.
1
SPEAKER_04
Shout out to Osama bin Laden.
1
SPEAKER_04
And what that does for people who practice affirmations, the breathing is the missing link, okay?
1
SPEAKER_04
Very few people, 3% of the population has any written goals.
1
SPEAKER_04
Let s take out goals and put in affirmations.
1
SPEAKER_04
So if we re working with 3% of the population that works affirmations, which are goals for your mindset, write them out.
1
SPEAKER_04
And then a lot of people in that small percentage of people, they repeat the affirmation.
1
SPEAKER_04
So I m getting better at things.
1
SPEAKER_04
I m getting better at things.
1
SPEAKER_04
Things are working out for me.
1
SPEAKER_04
I show up.
1
SPEAKER_04
I m confident.
1
SPEAKER_04
I m going to have a great day.
1
SPEAKER_04
That s good.
1
SPEAKER_04
Let s make it fantastic. 
1
SPEAKER_04
As in, because when I repeat those words that quickly, my breath is still in my chest, okay?
1
SPEAKER_04
And it s this mental, mental game.
1
SPEAKER_04
We re not taking, we re investing the time to breathe in between each statement.
1
SPEAKER_04
Three different ways of saying the same thing.
1
SPEAKER_04
Taking a concept to heart, socializing an idea, embodying a concept.
1
SPEAKER_04
So good things happen when I show up.
1
SPEAKER_01
Accept the risk that
1
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_04
I bring my entire body into the conversation.
1
SPEAKER_04
I literally light that sentence up with my emotions and feelings.
1
SPEAKER_04
If we want to get all John Kehoe about it, I magnetize that statement with my breath.
1
SPEAKER_04
And if you do that, what will happen is you will believe those sentences more strong because you ll feel it.
1
SPEAKER_04
He who feels it knows it.
1
SPEAKER_04
She who feels it knows it.
1
SPEAKER_04
And that right there, in my personal professional opinion, it s the missing link when it comes to affirmations.
1
SPEAKER_01
Do I lose my fear of risking?
1
SPEAKER_01
Do I lose my fear of failure?
1
SPEAKER_01
Do I lose my sense of other people won t respect me if I don t get exactly what I m striving for?
1
SPEAKER_04
They ll turn the volume down on it, you know, and that s what most people need.
1
SPEAKER_04
Let s talk about this real quick because it s valuable to this part of the, it s a valuable thing to talk about when we re talking about mindset.
1
SPEAKER_04
It s a very easy trap for people to fall and I ve done it myself to think that I need to be completely super confident and have taken care of all the negativity before I can move forward and make progress.
1
SPEAKER_04
No, not at all.
1
SPEAKER_04
Turn the volume down on the victim mentality, on the shit talk going on in your head.
1
SPEAKER_04
If you cut that thing in half, you ll barely recognize yourself.
1
SPEAKER_04
And it s the difference between having, you got a little whiny toddler with a soiled diaper sitting in your lap, its hands are on the wheel, you re trying to drive the bus.
1
SPEAKER_04
It s honking the horn, it s crying, it s snotting.
1
SPEAKER_04
It s the difference between that you take it and you put it in the back seat and you change its diaper and give it a little sippy cup and an Etch-a-Sketch and you buckle it in, you pat it on its head and then now you re driving the bus as opposed to this thing that s fighting you tooth and nail.
1
SPEAKER_04
No, you just turn the volume down which is actually quite easy to do with just a little bit of know-to and know-how and then you can move forward easier.
1
SPEAKER_04
I used to think that.
1
SPEAKER_04
I used to think I need to be, I thought I could eradicate the negative voice in my head.
1
SPEAKER_04
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_04
And then I wised up and realized if I just turn the volume down on this thing and keep it in check, then I can do everything that I want to do with my life, both personally, professionally.
1
SPEAKER_04
And yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m forced to throw something.
1
SPEAKER_01
When I cold called in New York City, people would slam the door.
1
SPEAKER_01
I have no time for you.
1
SPEAKER_01
Slam.
1
SPEAKER_01
I could either take the rejection or I could have fun.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I decided to have fun.
1
SPEAKER_01
Did you mean no time today?
1
SPEAKER_01
Can I come back tomorrow, attorney?
1
SPEAKER_04
Jeffrey, you legend.
1
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Right.
1
SPEAKER_01
OK, so that s the difference between having a good time at this and worrying about this.
1
SPEAKER_01
I didn t worry about getting rejected.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m going to tell you, a third of the people would come to the door again.
1
SPEAKER_01
The other two thirds would swear even deeper.
1
SPEAKER_01
But I took it as fun and a game rather than if I don t do this, I m going to die.
1
SPEAKER_02
And that was easy for you because of your upbringing and because of the stories that you were told and told yourself as a child.
1
SPEAKER_02
For many people, it s not as easy because they take the rejection personally.
1
SPEAKER_02
They make it something about them.
1
SPEAKER_02
And what Mark and Adam are doing with Unlifted is helping you uncover what that story is.
1
SPEAKER_01
They re helping you knock again.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Basically, they re saying don t take the first shot, be willing to take another shot, be willing to take the third shot because it s not against you, it s against it or against the world.
1
SPEAKER_01
Leave that part alone.
1
SPEAKER_02
And sometimes it s hard to see that when you re stuck in that story.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh sure, and you have not enough money.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Because then there s a fear.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s really an interesting process and I think you ve hit on something that will actually help people get to that next level.
1
SPEAKER_04
This is where we talk about soft talk.
1
SPEAKER_03
Well, we could, we could do that.
1
SPEAKER_03
Tell us, tell us.
1
SPEAKER_03
I have a sales thing I can relay to the sales audience.
1
SPEAKER_03
We determined that for 2022, our goal was to enroll 120 coaches, 10 coaches a month, and that was going to be our goal from a sales perspective.
1
SPEAKER_03
To a day.
1
SPEAKER_03
Essentially, whatever, 122, whatever that is.
1
SPEAKER_03
Take weekends off.
1
SPEAKER_03
Right, right, right.
1
SPEAKER_03
Call me in the morning.
1
SPEAKER_03
And so once we hit the number and we said, that s what we re going to do for three months at our team meeting, Mark, Kimberly and I would end the meeting with doing what we said, yes, 120 times.
1
SPEAKER_03
And that was a way to, again, to get comfortable with getting 120 people to say, yes, we were spelling it.
1
SPEAKER_03
We were putting it out there and getting again.
1
SPEAKER_03
breathing it because part of it s can I accept this money?
1
SPEAKER_03
Can I accept this many people saying yes to me?
1
SPEAKER_03
Are we comfortable with it?
1
SPEAKER_03
Will we rep it for three months?
1
SPEAKER_03
Guess what?
1
SPEAKER_03
We re on pace.
1
SPEAKER_03
We re ahead of pace in fact, so it s really cool.
1
SPEAKER_03
Okay, so and that s cool.
1
SPEAKER_01
That win breeds the confidence for the next win.
1
SPEAKER_01
The best time to make a sale is right after you just made one.
1
SPEAKER_01
The best time because you re full of it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Now, why did I knock again?
1
SPEAKER_01
Why did I do that?
1
SPEAKER_03
It s the same reason that screenwriters and authors write the bad draft first because you know enough bad drafts you can get to a great draft.
1
SPEAKER_01
I watched my family take no and turn it into yes and we have a word for it, chutzpah.
1
SPEAKER_01
I like that word.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s a real good word and it translates loosely into balls.
1
SPEAKER_01
Cajones.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, cajones.
1
SPEAKER_01
Sales balls is how I ve rephrased it.
1
SPEAKER_04
Something about that to make sales calls.
1
SPEAKER_01
I ve heard that so many times.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
It takes sales balls to make sales calls.
1
SPEAKER_01
The challenge that you have as a person is actually believing that, believing yourself that you can do it.
1
SPEAKER_01
And it takes wins in order to be able to make that happen.
1
SPEAKER_01
You got to win a few times and then go back and remember how you won so you can go to the next one.
1
SPEAKER_01
And eliminating the phrase, it wasn t for business.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, stop buying fucking lottery tickets.
1
SPEAKER_01
You don t win the lottery.
1
SPEAKER_01
And if you have all your teeth, you re never going to win the lottery.
1
SPEAKER_01
The only people that win are the ones that have no teeth.
1
SPEAKER_03
And then research what happens to lottery winners.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, please.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s the worst fate that can happen to you.
1
SPEAKER_01
What a paradox.
1
SPEAKER_01
The last thing you want to do is win a lot.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I bother saying it just in case.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like, dude, it s a wish.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s never going to happen.
1
SPEAKER_01
No offense.
1
SPEAKER_02
So I think that we might.
1
SPEAKER_02
We re talking or maybe about to talk.
1
SPEAKER_04
Sort of, thinking about.
1
SPEAKER_04
Kind of.
1
SPEAKER_04
Maybe.
1
SPEAKER_02
Talking about soft talk.
1
SPEAKER_04
Setting some goals and hopefully I m gonna make my sales quota this month and I might do a little bit, maybe I need to be more consistent.
1
SPEAKER_04
It s almost like I m procrastinating on these phone calls and it s, possibly it would do me a lot of good.
1
SPEAKER_01
Eliminate adverbs from your life and you re going to win.
1
SPEAKER_01
Eliminate adverbs from your life, from your writing.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s more than adverbs.
1
SPEAKER_02
Hold on.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s specific adverbs.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_04
Deadly ones.
1
SPEAKER_02
So, let s hear the deadly list.
1
SPEAKER_04
So, there s this thing, folks.
1
SPEAKER_04
This stuff is called soft talk, and it s one of the three pillars of what we call conflict language, which before it was called conflict language.
1
SPEAKER_04
We actually shot that original course in Jeffrey s studio December 2014.
1
SPEAKER_04
And before conflict language was called, it was called victim mentality language because we adhered to the definition.
1
SPEAKER_04
Remember the definition of the victim mentality?
1
SPEAKER_04
The victim mentality depends on a habitual thought process and attributions.
1
SPEAKER_04
So there s three pillars of conflict language or victim mentality language.
1
SPEAKER_04
Projections, we talked about them.
1
SPEAKER_04
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_04
You did that to me.
1
SPEAKER_04
She never listens to me.
1
SPEAKER_04
My mother talks to me like a child.
1
SPEAKER_04
Take out my mother and put an eye.
1
SPEAKER_04
That ll have a little different flavor to it.
1
SPEAKER_04
Then we got the negations, which force you to stare at the worst case scenario.
1
SPEAKER_04
Can ts, won ts, isn ts, don ts, nots.
1
SPEAKER_04
I can t keep living like this.
1
SPEAKER_04
There s a picture of me living like that again.
1
SPEAKER_04
That shit adds up.
1
SPEAKER_04
And the easiest place to start the conversation, it s the gateway drug to the rest of your language, because it s going to get you in the game.
1
SPEAKER_04
It s going to get you paying attention to words.
1
SPEAKER_04
It s going to get you making some easy adjustments and benefiting, getting wins.
1
SPEAKER_04
Like Jeffrey said, it s called soft talk.
1
SPEAKER_04
There s a handful of them.
1
SPEAKER_04
And here s one of my promises.
1
SPEAKER_04
If you cut your soft talk in half, you will double your confidence.
1
SPEAKER_04
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_04
And that s easy to do.
1
SPEAKER_04
First things first, got to learn the words.
1
SPEAKER_04
So this is called the soft talk challenge.
1
SPEAKER_04
Everybody listen to this.
1
SPEAKER_04
Assuming you re not driving, get a pen, get a piece of paper, write these words down five times larger than you normally write.
1
SPEAKER_04
When we re done, take that piece of paper, tape it up somewhere.
1
SPEAKER_04
You re going to see it for seven days and the rest is done.
1
SPEAKER_04
You can leave it up a week and a half.
1
SPEAKER_04
Leave it up a week and a half, even better.
1
SPEAKER_04
So here s the first word, maybe, think, possibly, probably.
1
SPEAKER_04
Might.
1
SPEAKER_04
Might.
1
SPEAKER_04
Please join in everybody.
1
SPEAKER_04
Sort of.
1
SPEAKER_04
Kind of.
1
SPEAKER_04
Almost like.
1
SPEAKER_04
Seems like.
1
SPEAKER_04
Perhaps.
1
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, maybe is a big one.
1
SPEAKER_04
Try.
1
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_04
One day.
1
SPEAKER_04
Hopefully.
1
SPEAKER_04
That s most of them.
1
SPEAKER_03
That s most of them.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_04
And here s another promise.
1
SPEAKER_04
Those words are in your language.
1
SPEAKER_04
And there s 20 million dead squirrels that can attest to the deadly.
1
SPEAKER_01
Kind of like.
1
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_04
So indecision is deadly.
1
SPEAKER_04
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_04
Malmodee.
1
SPEAKER_04
Indecision is a decision.
1
SPEAKER_01
You decided not to decide.
1
SPEAKER_04
Oh, it s the worst.
1
SPEAKER_04
I prefer the terror.
1
SPEAKER_04
I prefer the fear of the wrong decision versus the terror of indecision.
1
SPEAKER_04
Malmoides, or however you pronounce that guy s name, and he s right.
1
SPEAKER_04
Indecision, it s very stressful.
1
SPEAKER_04
It s a flavor of stress.
1
SPEAKER_04
And if you play that game long enough, and most people are doing it unconsciously, accidentally, because they have no formal training with their language, like we said earlier, then you can trick yourself into thinking that you re just an indecisive person.
1
SPEAKER_04
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_04
Versus, and that s the why, that s back to the why.
1
SPEAKER_04
Why am I so indecisive?
1
SPEAKER_04
You re never going to get a good answer for that.
1
SPEAKER_04
One that you can apply and make some changes.
1
SPEAKER_04
You just told yourself actually.
1
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, exactly.
1
SPEAKER_04
It s not a question.
1
SPEAKER_04
You re just identifying yourself versus how am I so indecisive?
1
SPEAKER_04
And then if you keep going with that line of thought, you will get to the words.
1
SPEAKER_04
Then you can change your language and then you ll change your outcomes.
1
SPEAKER_03
So, the difference between a statement, maybe I should follow up with him.
1
SPEAKER_03
And I should follow up with him.
1
SPEAKER_03
Just taking the one word out.
1
SPEAKER_03
It s a big difference, you know.
1
SPEAKER_03
It seems like whenever I do this action, I get this result.
1
SPEAKER_03
It seems like or whenever I do this action, I get this result.
1
SPEAKER_03
I mean, these words take us off the hook.
1
SPEAKER_03
It removes responsibility and actually obscures our ability.
1
SPEAKER_03
And they make it so soft, you can t... You can t see it.
1
SPEAKER_03
It s like putting some Vaseline on the lens.
1
SPEAKER_03
It s like you can t even see what s going on there.
1
SPEAKER_03
So how are you going to attend to what you must attend to when you ve essentially self-censored?
1
SPEAKER_03
So the goal is to remove this and it s going to build a lot more confidence.
1
SPEAKER_03
When you speak to someone and they use very confident language, there s very little soft talk in it.
1
SPEAKER_03
They re speaking authoritatively.
1
SPEAKER_03
And we like subject matter experts as a salesperson who can speak authoritatively about their product, about their service.
1
SPEAKER_03
It makes us feel comfortable.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, there s a big difference when you re talking to a client and you say, I think you should move forward with this.
1
SPEAKER_02
And here s what s going to happen when you move forward with this.
1
SPEAKER_02
Here s how it s going to help you when you move forward with this.
1
SPEAKER_04
I think you re really going to like this product.
1
SPEAKER_02
Right.
1
SPEAKER_02
Doesn t rethink.
1
SPEAKER_04
Exactly.
1
SPEAKER_04
Exactly.
1
SPEAKER_01
So let me throw this at you.
1
SPEAKER_01
In my talks, I listen to other people talk.
1
SPEAKER_01
An expert will say, you know, this isn t rocket science to try to make it seem easier.
1
SPEAKER_01
But I added to that, it s not rocket science, but when you master it, it s rocket fuel.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that s interesting.
1
SPEAKER_01
And they go, oh, it creates an additional deep thought in the mind of the participant.
1
SPEAKER_03
Can Mark steal that from you?
1
SPEAKER_03
Because he uses that a lot.
1
SPEAKER_04
I talk about rocket science a lot, as in making the joke.
1
SPEAKER_04
And I do mean that this is not rocket science.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s not rocket science, but when you master it, it s rocket fuel.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s rocket fuel.
1
SPEAKER_01
You can just acknowledge me, that s all.
1
SPEAKER_01
I acknowledge each other.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no.
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean every time.
1
SPEAKER_01
But the challenge for anybody who s listening to this is, OK, what are you going to do about it?
1
SPEAKER_01
Like, I know that.
1
SPEAKER_01
No.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, great.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know, you re the smartest guy in the world.
1
SPEAKER_01
You re just not doing it.
1
SPEAKER_02
And some of you are going to want more.
1
SPEAKER_02
And what can they do to get more?
1
SPEAKER_03
Wow.
1
SPEAKER_03
You practice that.
1
SPEAKER_03
You re good.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, if you re a coach, if you re a leader.
1
SPEAKER_01
If you re a salesperson and you want to get to the next level.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_03
And Lifted is currently a coaching certification program, works for a lot of folks.
1
SPEAKER_03
We focus mainly on coaching.
1
SPEAKER_03
So if that s part of what you do in your role, come on board.
1
SPEAKER_03
Mark has been lauded by many, all I should say, of our coaches thus far.
1
SPEAKER_03
He does a great job.
1
SPEAKER_03
He s going to be your trainer.
1
SPEAKER_03
So you ll work with Mark directly.
1
SPEAKER_03
If you re interested in using this in your professional lives, well, there could be some news coming along.
1
SPEAKER_02
Stay tuned because there is something coming along soon.
1
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that could involve some people you know and love and you get it.
1
SPEAKER_03
Some fun things are happening.
1
SPEAKER_03
Right now, we love working with coaches and we got a lot of people in there who have a variety of different backgrounds, business coaches, entrepreneurs.
1
SPEAKER_03
I know you like saying business owners and they re loving it because it s giving them all the tools that we just talked about.
1
SPEAKER_03
The communication tools are the most important ones.
1
SPEAKER_03
Oh, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_03
And they re so applicable.
1
SPEAKER_03
You could be doing real estate, you could be doing B2B, you could be doing whatever, and it s all communication.
1
SPEAKER_03
So we have to end now.
1
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_03
So I d like to end.
1
SPEAKER_02
And lifted.me.
1
SPEAKER_03
And lifted.me.
1
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_03
Coaching certification.
1
SPEAKER_03
Join the wait list.
1
SPEAKER_02
Join the wait list.
1
SPEAKER_02
If you re not a coach and you want the, can they take the core language upgrade?
1
SPEAKER_03
They can take Core Language Upgrade, which is going to be, and you will, if you buy Core Language Upgrade, which you can find at Procabulary.org.
1
SPEAKER_02
We ll link it in the show notes.
1
SPEAKER_03
We ll link it in the show notes.
1
SPEAKER_03
If you take that, you will get a free upgrade to the new and lifted essentials, which is going to replace that course that s coming up.
1
SPEAKER_03
later in the year.
1
SPEAKER_03
So we re going to upgrade people who ve supported us in the past.
1
SPEAKER_03
We really appreciate all those folks.
1
SPEAKER_03
And that course has been around for six years and we still sell them to this day.
1
SPEAKER_03
People love it.
1
SPEAKER_03
And we want to add even more value to that.
1
SPEAKER_03
And you ll learn the entire stack of what Mark s talking about here.
1
SPEAKER_03
It s structured.
1
SPEAKER_03
It s very cleanly delivered.
1
SPEAKER_03
And we have the nice repetition in there, worksheets you can play with and discover cool things about yourself.
1
SPEAKER_03
So check it out.
1
SPEAKER_02
I ve gone through the whole certification.
1
SPEAKER_02
I use it in my coaching.
1
SPEAKER_02
It s the most amazing.
1
SPEAKER_02
This method is amazing.
1
SPEAKER_02
We ll link all of that.
1
SPEAKER_02
And thank you guys.
1
SPEAKER_02
Thank you.
1
SPEAKER_02
Thank you.
1
SPEAKER_01
Our pleasure.
1
SPEAKER_01
When you invest and lift it, you become engifted.
1
SPEAKER_02
Ooh.
1
SPEAKER_02
All right.
1
SPEAKER_02
I love it.
1
SPEAKER_02
That s a wrap.
1
SPEAKER_02
Thanks for listening to the show.
1
SPEAKER_02
Don t forget to like, share.
1
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, share with both your friends.
1
SPEAKER_02
And subscribe to the podcast.
1
SPEAKER_00
And remember, we have a free 22-day sales challenge.
1
SPEAKER_00
Just go to guterman.com slash sales challenge to start you on your way.