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Welcome everybody to the Advanced Selling Podcast, the longest running sale training podcast in the history of podcasts.
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My name is Brian Neal.
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My name is Bill Kasky.
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Glad that you re here.
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Here for your listening enjoyment every week.
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If you haven t done so, by all means, join the Insider Group, Bill s live training session, first Friday of every month, worth every little dime that you ll spend there.
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Go to the website, 12 Bold Moves.
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That s the number 12, right Bill?
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The number 12 bold moves.
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Yep.
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And at the end of this, you get a little treat from Insider, too.
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So I can t tell you more than that.
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But there s a little offer, a little treat offer there.
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So go to 12boldmoves.com, download the book.
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It s an awesome book.
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Anyway, of course, we say that because it s our book.
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12boldmoves.com.
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And we re going to talk a little deep today.
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We re going to talk a little bit about detachment from a couple of famous people you may have heard of before that.
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I need some help with detachment, Bill.
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I had a couple of little flying things that I struggled with.
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I was on spring breaks, I fly a bunch for work, but this is a spring break thing.
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I had a person, this is fine, flying with an emotional support cat, an emotional support cat, and the cat was making noises the entire flight like a small child.
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The cat was going.
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Like, so it was drugged apparently.
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It looked, seemed drugged, but not totally drugged.
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And then the person with the cat seemed like that was okay because it was this person s emotional support cat.
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And I m just sort of done with those sorts of things.
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I don t think, if people need emotional support cats, I think they need an emotional support private jet to fly on.
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And they should have their own support private jet.
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That s a thing.
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And then so that was the first thing.
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The second thing that this is just an interesting leftover things that people say had a lot of turbulence.
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And the pilot said, flight attendants, please take your jump seats.
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Shouldn t they be called don t jump seat?
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Because I don t want the flight attendants bailing on us, especially when the turbulence is bad.
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I think that s left over from the war, I think.
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Yeah.
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We ve always called those things jump seats.
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Parachuting into Germany, you know, behind the lines during... Their name stuck.
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It s an easy name.
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But these days they re just passing out coffee and snack mix.
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But I thought that was kind of funny right there.
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Speaking of language and the language we use, do you remember
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back probably 10, 12 years ago at the Miss Teenage America contest, where the girl was asked a question and she went off with an answer that made no sense.
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Do you remember that?
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South Carolina.
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Miss South Carolina.
100%.
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And it was Mario Lopez was the host.
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Yes.
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And he had her on.
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I don t know.
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My wife and I were driving around.
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We were on vacation too, last week.
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And we were driving around.
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Somehow South Carolina me we re talking about the basketball game and talking a lot I m like remember it wasn t that Miss South Carolina that had that and we started laughing and then she said, you know shouldn t laugh at other people s misfortunes and she s probably right but go back and listen to that because it truly Really is but a but a guy s master but Lopez had her on the show on his show like a year ago or so and I heard it Oh, you did
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But did you hear what she said?
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She said to him, you know, Mario, Mario, before the show started today, when we were conversating, she actually used the word conversating.
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She said, you know, Mario, Mario, before the show started today, when we were conversating, she actually used the word conversating.
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I didn t catch that.
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Which is not a word.
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I know.
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We were conversing, and we were having conversation.
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We were not conversating.
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And I thought, you know, 12 years hence, still having trouble with, still having a little trouble with the English language.
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And I know that s mean.
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That s mean.
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But I ve heard people use the term conversate before, and I always feel like, where did that come from?
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My wife does.
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My wife does.
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No, no, no.
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She uses, she makes up words like that.
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Oh, makes up words.
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Okay.
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Plows right through them.
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She says them with tons of confidence and plows right through them in conversations.
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And then I ll go, wait, wait, wait, wait.
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And she ll start giggling and laughing.
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She s like, that s not a word, is it?
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I m like, I don t think so.
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Well, yeah, we ve talked about this before I think I probably mentioned I heard somebody use the word candorous the other day candorous like like a candid candorous and I thought yeah, maybe it is because you always think well, I m I m pretty judgmental.
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No, that s not a word that I think how do you know bill?
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You don t know every word and you look it up.
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Of course, it s not yeah, I
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Anyway, well, let s get to our topic today.
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I was listening to a podcast Michael Gervais who has a podcast called Finding Mastery.
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He had Seth Godin on Seth as you probably know most of you in the audience are familiar with him He s got had a blog for like 20 years and he has millions of people that listen to him and it s written several books And he s got a podcast called Finding Mastery.
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He s got a podcast called Finding Mastery
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And he s really a good thinker when it comes to marketing and psychology.
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He s just a really good thinker.
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And he said something that I thought was really fascinating about the concept of detachment.
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And I clipped it out.
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And then we communicated with Michael to see if he would mind if we used it.
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And they were OK with it.
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So let me play the clip of Seth Godin talking about detachment.
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And then Brian and I will come back and finish up and maybe interpret this a little bit, go a little bit deeper.
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Cool?
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So let s talk about attachment.
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I wrote about it in the practice.
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It s a Buddhist term, but a lot of people have trouble with it in the West.
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So here s the way I describe it.
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If you and I are going to swim across canoe lakes in Algonquin Park and we don t have proper safety equipment, one reasonably safe thing for us to do is to stay about eight feet apart from each other, be aware of each other.
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The other way we could do it is we could actually take four ropes and tie them hand to hand and leg to leg and be attached to each other.
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And if we did that, one of us would drown, or maybe both of us would.
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That attachment is being emotionally connected to the output, the outcome, even though we don t have control over the outcome.
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And so I ll write a blog post.
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And I wrote the blog post.
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I don t get to rewrite it.
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It s in the world.
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I need it to be the best blog post I can make, but I m not attached to the outcome.
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If it didn t resonate with you, my day will go on.
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I will learn something about how to do a better blog post tomorrow, but I m not attached to that outcome.
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And what has happened in traditional corporate culture is we ve pushed people to become attached to the outcome.
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We think that if you win the lottery, you have some sort of skill.
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If you lose the lottery, you did something wrong.
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The outcome of the lottery is totally different than the lottery.
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The mistake you made with buying the ticket in the first place.
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But whether or not you won is irrelevant.
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Winning the lottery, you still did a stupid thing.
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You bought a lottery ticket.
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So the thing that
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I am trying to do when I m doing my work is say, this probably won t work, but it might be worth trying.
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And if it doesn t work, would the journey have been a good decision anyway?
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That s different than saying, this is only a good decision if it works.
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So that is Seth Godin on Finding Mastery podcast with Michael Gervais.
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And thanks to Michael for allowing us to clip that out and use it.
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So what did you think?
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I mean, I thought the story had some merit.
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And he went a little bit different direction there for a minute on the lottery.
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I didn t quite understand that.
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But it came back strong, I thought.
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What s your interpretation?
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First of all, I just bought Powerball tickets the other night and didn t win.
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I enjoy that process, win or lose.
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I don t know what he was talking about with that.
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Anyway, how come the West gets dissed all the time?
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The East and West, like what is the, and the East has everything figured out and we don t or whatever.
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I mean, we re all trying here, I think.
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Anyway, I understand what he s saying, you know, from a religious or cultural basis standpoint.
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But I don t know.
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Anywho, that s a couple of early comments.
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First of all, though, deeper than that, this is a process over the outcome thing, the process.
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And I just, I love this idea that if the process is the thing that s the enjoyable part, that s the valuable part, that s the learning part, that s the growth part.
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It s not the outcome.
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And this is in all the things.
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This is in, we talk about social media.
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We talk about this, the podcast.
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Yeah, when you look at our air quotes, outcomes from the podcast, and you could do the stats or whatever, you can look at the revenue we ve made or the companies we ve worked with the people we ve met.
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It s not been about that.
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It s been about the joy and the fun to try to put something together that s meaningful to others, the learning, trying to come up with topics and challenge ourselves.
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And it s that s the part of it.
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I know, um,
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Personally, having written down on a note card when I was 19, that I wanted to ref the Super Bowl when I was 51 and reffing the Super Bowl at 52 and coming back to an empty dark hotel room.
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after all those years with the goal accomplished and the ring on the finger, that it wasn t about the ring on the finger.
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There s no joy in that.
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There is not.
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I m telling you, I had a cup full of confetti I scooped off the field and a room full of dirty clothes.
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And there s no joy in that.
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And you ask anyone who s done that at any level, there is no, won a Grammy or an Oscar.
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You see people with their Grammys and Oscars like sitting on their shelf at home.
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Like your Grammy, they re like, yeah, it s just sitting there.
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But they sure remember when they came up with the song.
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They, they, they love that when they came up with that hook or they had that idea floating around and it like hit them in the shower.
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They crafted this little, this, you know, the hook or the coda or the, whatever, I don t know.
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That is what detached about.
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Yeah.
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And I did like what he said there about you have to, like, let s say an idea strikes you.
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Like, let s say that we have a listener who says, you know, I ve listened to the advanced selling podcast for many years.
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I think I should be doing a podcast.
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So the idea strikes.
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And I think we rush to, well, is it going to work or not?
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And what kind of response am I going to get?
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And what are the people around me?
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Am I going to be ostracized?
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Or am I going to be heralded as some kind of a podcast hero?
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Probably none of that stuff will happen.
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But would you like to take the journey to see what is at the end of that journey?
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Do you want to go into the wilderness and just discover something?
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And I think we get so hung up in the outcomes, and that s what I liked about what he said there at the end.
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We get hung up in the outcomes, we don t even bother to say, maybe the journey would be fun regardless of what happens.
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Yep.
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Rick Rubin s been talking about this.
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Rick Rubin, a famed record producer who produced the Beastie Boys, Run DMC, has been talking about making and producing music is nothing more than a deal between you and God.
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That s all it is, is that you re channeling this thing in you that s coming out.
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It s not for the audience.
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That s not who s to decide.
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And he said, you know, people, artists that write for songs to be hits are missing the whole point.
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That s not what it s about.
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And just like you said, just like for people ask, like, like people ask us.
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So we started the podcast and they re like, how many leads have you get from the podcast?
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How much ad money do you get every month?
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I m like, I don t know.
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I don t even think of it that way.
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You know what I mean?
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And then so what?
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And like, well, Joe Rogan gets a hundred million bucks.
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It s not that for him either.
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He was a fricking, you know, decent standup comic before he started podcasting.
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Joe Rogan didn t start a podcast with the goal to make a hundred million bucks.
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No, no, no.
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He started a podcast though, because, because of the journey, because he thought it would be cool to start a podcast.
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And he didn t have the million dollar studio when he started.
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He, he was in, I don t know if you remember, he was living room on a couch with a couple of microphones.
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He had probably a thousand dollars into the equipment.
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And so the point there is, as we think about these things that we are doing, and for you, for listeners who are in the mode for growth, you re looking for growth, you re looking for ways to improve your outcomes.
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Don t disregard something just because there s not a clear connection between the activity and the outcome.
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Maybe the journey will be worth it, and maybe on that journey toward a podcast or whatever it is, you ll pick up something else that s even better than a podcast.
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You know what?
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I was doing this research for a podcast, and we came up with this idea to do a LinkedIn show every Friday afternoon or whatever.
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So you don t know where
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where the detours along that journey are going to take you, and it probably is to some promised land somewhere that you can t see from where you are now.
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I think it always is.
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That is the essence of detachment, is to just not worry or think about that.
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And it doesn t mean you don t have goals written down.
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It doesn t mean that.
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No, no.
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You can have those.
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It just means that those two are separate.
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The journey and the path are separate.
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But I think if you have your goals written down, like you did for officiating Super Bowl, and like we all have been teaching our clients to do, I think pathways start to appear as we write those goals down.
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And it s never a straight path to the goal.
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It s always a winding path.
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And on that winding path, you have to be OK trying things detached from the outcome of those things, because you never know what it s going to lead to.
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Yes, it s such it sets you directionally towards something.
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Correct.
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I didn t write down that I wanted to dance in Carnegie Hall.
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That would have set me directionally in a totally different place.
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Yeah, or whatever.
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I love that.
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That s really great.
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Yeah, when the when the what is clear when the when the what is clear, the how will appear.
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Yeah, and the what is the what do you want to accomplish is what s the number?
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What s the outcome?
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What what and you know, there s a whole lot of well, you gotta have a why you gotta have a why okay?
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What and why if you re clear about those the how tends to appear but I think what we do a lot of times we rush to the how
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Yes.
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Well, how s the podcast going to make us a million dollars?
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That s our goal.
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Well, don t rush to the how, because you don t know that the how is just so unknown.
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It s just so it s so unknown.
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It s so obscure.
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And we re getting into areas that I m probably not.
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not qualified to talk about, but this whole idea of, of the, you know, the, the law of attraction and those things that are a little metaphysical, but we all know they work and we all, we re just afraid to say, Oh, we don t want to talk about the law of attraction.
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That sounds a little bit too woo.
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And as yet, yeah, it s woo woo.
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And it works.
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It works.
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It works either way.
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Yeah.
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Maybe it doesn t work exactly the way that all of us are.
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I totally agree with that.
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All right, man.
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Good job.
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If you have not joined the insider program, go to advancedsellingpodcast.com slash insider.
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If you have not downloaded 12 bold moves, the booklet that we took, uh, the great content that we do in insider and put it on a website called 12boldmoves.com.
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Brian, anything before we finish?
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No, I kind of liked this home office deal.
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Kind of digging my little home office here.
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Got to light it up a little better.
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Yeah, the lighting.
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Yeah, but I like that.
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I like the prints on the back wall there.
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Prince, you re a big Prince fan.
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There s no Prince back there.
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No Prince.
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I mean, frame Prince.
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Come on.
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Oh, it s all football stuff.
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All right, man.
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Talk soon.
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OK, bye.