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In this episode of the Advanced Selling Podcast, Bill tells the story of hunting critters with his wife in the backyard, I share my own varmint hunting stories, and we bring you an introspective episode as we ask ourselves, what are we afraid of?
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Welcome to the Advanced Selling Podcast, the longest running sales training podcast in podcast history.
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I m Brian Neal.
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I m Bill Kasky.
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Bill s giggling at himself.
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He s got lots of stories.
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His brain is being flooded with ideas as we come to you.
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Halloween week.
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Scary, spooky Halloween week.
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And we have a great, great topic.
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First of all, if you didn t get a chance to hear or participate in our webinar,
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with our friends from Chronologic that was about how to sell more with video in 2021.
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Now, what s great about this, our friend Aaron, it s not what Chronologic does for a living.
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That s not their core.
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It s not even a side hustle.
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He s got a brilliant way to leverage video and a little bit of audio
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live within your sales process.
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If you didn t join us for that, you have to go get the replay.
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So go to the website.
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You ll see a button that says chronologic video something.
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I don t know what it says.
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It ll say, you ll see it.
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It says, yeah, how to sell more video in 2021.
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Look for that button.
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That ll give you access to the replay of that thing.
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And we ll email it to you.
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And you have to do that because it s just such a cool process.
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Trust me, of all the things we talk about, you want to get this one.
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Fo sho.
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And this is not just how to use video at the beginning of the process.
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This is all the way through the sales process.
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So it s a unique look at video.
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We had a great crowd.
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On the webinar itself, we want you to get access to it.
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Love that.
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Love to have you.
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Topic today, we re going to talk about, and I think we did a version of this, but we re going to do another version because it really is a great topic, I think, which is, what are we afraid of?
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What are you afraid of?
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What are you afraid of?
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Right?
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And so Bill and I are going to talk about a couple things about fear and what we re afraid of and that sort of thing.
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Can I bring us in with a story about fear in general?
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Sure.
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Yeah.
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Is it scary?
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It s funny, but it may not be scary.
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We ll get into scary stuff later.
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I like it.
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We have noticed that there was a hole behind our garage in the ground, and we weren t sure if it was ground squirrels or a mouse or snake or whatever.
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My wife, Jane, decides that it s probably some kind of critter that s made a home down there.
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So she went out and got a couple of traps for non-Indiana people.
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Critter would be like a varmint for fierce varmint or critter.
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So that s like raccoons, possum, chipmunk.
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Those are critters where we live.
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People in California are like, huh, what?
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So we assumed it was mice, but weren t sure.
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So anyway, we went out and got a couple of traps.
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And the deal is that she catches them, and I dispose of them.
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And the other day, and she d caught a few and said, hey, I ve got a mouse.
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And it s usually a mouse.
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Sometimes it s foxes and things.
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But generally, it s mice.
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And then the other day, she said, hey, there s a mouse we caught overnight.
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You ve got to get rid of it before you go today.
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And I was busy, I was behind.
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I m like, you know, it doesn t take that long, but I thought, oh, in the interest, you know.
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And as I was going and disposing of it, I thought, okay, let me see now.
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She lures these poor little creatures into the trap with peanut butter.
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She basically breaks their neck, asphyxiates them, but disposing of them is a bridge too far for her.
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That s where her scruples
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That s where she developed scruples.
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A bridge too far.
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Yeah.
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A bridge too far.
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So anyway, I thought, that s funny.
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And I had to get permission from her to say that.
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But isn t that true?
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I mean, my screw, oh, I m OK with all the asphyxiation and the neck slicing and the guillotine, but don t ask me.
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So I think if we ever disappear and we go on a crime spree, you know who s going to be disposing of the bodies.
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It ll be me.
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Oh my goodness.
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And then it just brings back, because we live in an older part of,
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in Indianapolis here where there s, you know, the mice are fairly frequent.
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And yeah, my former spouse was absolutely mortified, terrified.
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of these things, and I don t really like the whole process either, but I did like the process of baiting the traps.
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I d get the peanut butter jar out, and you spoon it on there, and you get it so it s just ready to go, and you sit it around.
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And then the other thing, I don t know if this has ever happened to you, have you ever heard one go off?
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See, when you hear one go off, you re like, oh, you gotta check the traps.
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Right.
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Well, we had one trap disappear.
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We weren t sure whether a mouse had gotten caught and then a wolfhound or something had come taking it, or whether a squirrel had gotten their tail caught in it or something.
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And I promise you, listeners, Indiana is a great place.
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It really is.
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Indianapolis is a wonderful place to live.
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They re like, what, these freaking hillbillies?
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That s right.
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Anyway, let s talk about what we re afraid of, shall we?
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Why did you decide that this would be a good topic?
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I m curious.
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I m living in fear right now.
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That s probably why.
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I just think it s a good thing to explore.
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I think it s always, because I think for me, I ll start like broadly, when I find myself inhibited to do things, so a for instance would be social media.
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So I go in spurts in social media, and I ve been reflecting, like, why do I do this?
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So I ll post a whole bunch of videos, and then I ll pull back, and I ll post a bunch, and I ll pull back, and then I ll interact with people.
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I m like, why do I do this pedal on, pedal off with social media?
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What am I afraid of?
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It s just a question I like to ask myself a lot.
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What am I afraid of?
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Part of what I m examining there is I m afraid of, because you see someone with a huge following, let s say, on social media, like, oh my God, they ve got a million followers.
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There s a ton of pressure and responsibility, for me at least, now this could be
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what s wrong.
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There s fear of having too many people follow on social media, because you re like, okay, then I m like- Raises the stakes.
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It does, totally.
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Like there s a person I follow, Mel Robbins, who I just love.
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She s great.
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She had her own talk show, she s written books.
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Her main book s called 54321, which is about- Oh yeah, I remember that.
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I really, really enjoy Mel Robbins.
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And she has a thing now that she puts on Instagram.
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She makes her bed every day.
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She has a million followers.
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And she said, I ve made a commitment to myself to make my bed every day.
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She s like my age, like 50, 52.
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She has to make her bed every day for the rest of her life or she s gonna let her followers down.
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That s how I think about that.
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That s not right or healthy, but I m afraid of putting myself in a place where I have responsibility that I don t have the freedom that I had before.
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versus Wayne Dyer, who just buys a house in Maui and runs up the beach until he feels like stopping.
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Yeah, I doubt if he would have been all that obsessed with social media.
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Not at all.
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He just doesn t care.
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No, but he might have had people who did it, too.
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Correct.
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That s the thing.
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I think that yeah separates some of those people we can say well these politicians are actually doing their own tweeting.
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Well, they re not no They ve got interns doing it So depends on how big of a following you have and how much you want to invest in it But yeah, I agree with that.
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I I thought maybe the fear topic had something to do with kovat pandemic lots of people are kind of
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You know a little uncertain right now about what the future holds and I thought maybe that had some and maybe it does But well, that s an interesting part of it, you know Because I think people do have certain it is interesting to me now.
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I see have none of that.
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Are you afraid of kovat?
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No, i m not afraid of the disease and i m concerned with what s going to happen in the economy because of it But yeah, but there s nothing I can do about that.
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Anyway, so really it s basically what can I do about me our business?
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Yeah, totally All right.
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So you want to do what we re afraid of?
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I just gave you one of mine Okay.
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Yeah, I was gonna give you one.
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Yeah, please do so this is something that I heard this quote
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A couple years ago from a guy named Cunningham.
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Mm-hmm, and he s written a book on He s a business strategist and coach and he had this quote and he didn t say it and he never attributed it but I ve seen it a lot of places and The quote goes something like this in your dying days if you meet the man you could have been Would you recognize him?
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Oh
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I added the part of would you basically a quote is if in my dot hell on earth is to meet the man You could have been in your dying days hell on earth.
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That s hell on earth because now it s like what s now it s too late Yes, and I added the would you recognize them because sometimes I think we say you know what?
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I see a little bit of resemblance or we say oh my god, that s the guy I could have been and so
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As part, when I reflect on that personally, I think, am I being the person that I could look back on and say, yeah, that s the Bill Kasky that could have been, or it was close.
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And I don t get obsessed with that, but it s an interesting question to ask yourself at this time, especially as you get into your 50s and 60s, is, you know, I m not going to live forever.
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Yeah, 30 30 years ahead of me and not on podcasting.
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Maybe maybe we ll still be doing this when I m 95 Of course, but I guess the question was intriguing to me and I thought we should be thinking about that a little bit I don t know That s I m afraid that I don t wouldn t know how to answer that question and I m afraid I would see somebody very different
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Yes, and yet I don t want to obsess about it.
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So right feel about that.
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That s really good.
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I like that s deep That s deep.
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And I think it s good to say, you know, you can t you can t undo your life experiences and So that we have a lot of listeners a lot of you were in your 20s.
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I
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in your 30s and your 40s, and some of you are in your 50s.
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Don t do what I did in my 20s.
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But the one truth there that we know is you can t undo what you did, and you can t go back and do something that you didn t.
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Correct.
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You can t undo what you did, and you can t go back and do something that you didn t.
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which to me, the fear, so I, this is one of mine, and this is what drives me a lot to do things that I do.
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I have a fear of dying with a dream inside that doesn t come out.
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Like I have a fear of not trying, yeah.
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Not going for it.
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Exactly, and it s more, to me, it s about the life experience.
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It s like if there s something that someone wants to do, like I have a banjo, this is silly, but I have a banjo that I bought.
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I m like, I wanna learn to play the banjo.
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And it s hanging up in my studio at home, and I haven t touched it.
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And I know I will, but it gnaws at me.
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I was listening to music on the way home from my game yesterday.
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and the song Rainbow Connection from the Muppet movie came on.
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Great song, Kermit s lead-in song.
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Great banjo music.
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And I m like, I want to learn to play this.
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And so my feeling, I m going to be really upset if I get, I m like, why didn t I do that?
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Why didn t I do that?
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So I m afraid of not doing things.
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You know what I mean?
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They ll be wheeling you to the house on the gurney.
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The last breath, brother, it s that banjo I never played.
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Sammy, hit me the banjo!
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Last note, here we go, last chord.
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Hit me that banjo.
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One last chord.
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Right?
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So that s a fear I have.
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I have a fear of not doing things that I dream about.
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I have a fear of not, and not about the dream coming true.
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It s not about that.
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It s about starting and trying.
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You know what I want to say?
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I m totally fine failing, failed a bazillion times.
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I m totally okay with that.
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I m not okay if I don t try and take that next first step.
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What was it, who was the author that said most men live lives of quiet desperation and die with the music still in them?
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I think that may have been Emerson or James Allen or somebody like that.
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Most men lives live live lives.
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Oh, no I think it was Emerson live lives of quiet desperation and die with the dreams or the song or the music still in them And that s what you re talking about.
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I love it.
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I love it Here s one that I have and this directly relates to the podcast and I was listening to an expert on audio the other day and they were talking about podcasting and they were saying that I
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The audio experience you get from podcasting without video, just the audio experience, is so much more intimate and so much more vital and crucial and important than the visual experience.
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And yet they said we will pay a lot more for eyeballs than we will for earlobes.
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That s great.
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And this person was with With gimbal media who s a spy think gimbal own Spotify maybe or used to or did Spotify buy a gimbal?
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Maybe maybe yeah, but anyway, this lady was a was a
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Chief strategist and she said audio is the secret key to Connecting with customers.
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Yes, and then I thought well, is it just audio or is it the audio?
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Experience and my fear here is that we are giving you our listeners a pretty decent entertainment and instructional educational experience
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But are we giving you an entire audio experience, or is it just two dudes talking for 20 minutes a week?
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Yeah.
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And not that I don t think that s OK and good and acceptable, but I m fearful that we will look back and say, man, we had 700 episodes.
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We never gave people a real audio experience with music, with beats, with different things.
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And that is my fear that we re doing okay, but are we doing all we can to really give you a better experience?
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That s great.
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I think as you re talking, I m thinking about the consumption of that and what s the difference.
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The intimacy from audio, this is really good, because we just let in with, we did a big program on selling with video.
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And this is not about what s right or wrong, good or bad, that at all.
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But what s different?
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What s different is when I m in your mind, audio only, you can close your eyes
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and I can be with you, I m actually in your brain.
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Literally, audio, when you re on a plane, plane rides are great, because you put your headphones in, you usually close your eyes, and I m in your brain.
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I m literally in you, inside your mind.
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With video, I m external to you.
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And that barrier, the eyeball barrier and the device that you have to consume the video on has to be in a place where I can see it, so there s this natural barrier that s there.
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Make sense?
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I think that s a really good thing.
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So you re saying that the imagination that comes along with audio only is greater because we re not deceived, we re not distracted by visuals, we can literally sit back and close our eyes.
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Just like those people that read books and then go see the movie.
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that book has already formed a movie within their mind, and then they go see the movie, and they see and compare and contrast how it lines up.
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Sometimes it s good, sometimes it s bad, sometimes it s better, worse, whatever.
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Interesting idea.
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Yeah, frame of reference, yeah.
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Yes.
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Okay, what s your next one?
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Something that I am afraid of is I am afraid that I will have, I m afraid of misprioritizing life.
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I m afraid of misprioritizing life.
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Because I go back and forth between goal achievement, life experience, get what you want, growth, personal development, rising, getting better, all these things, all these external things, right?
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The business grows, add more people, ref the Super Bowl, all these things.
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and yet I could sit in a cabin in the woods and be completely content and complacent, or not complacent, but you know, at peace, right?
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And having personal connections with people in that world.
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So I m afraid that,
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That I m going to be out of balance with those things.
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That s a fear I have that I m going to miss.
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Because again, you can t go back and do those things.
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And sometimes I think of the appeal.
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I m like, oh my god, I would love to just go sit in a cabin in the woods.
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I wonder what that would be like.
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Isn t that partially, and I m not doing therapy here, but isn t it partially a season of life thing too?
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You are now in a season of your life where all those things are on the table.
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And you might arrive at a season five years from now where you say, you know what?
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I just don t want to do A, B, and C anymore.
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And the real, the ballsy part here is where you can come and say, those three things, I don t want to do that anymore.
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Because what a lot of people do is like, well, that s who I identify with.
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I m an NFL official.
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I identify as that.
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I can t give that up.
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Who would I be?
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Totally.
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And I think a lot of us do that as we, and what I m always interested in is when I see somebody who s really successful, and they say, yeah, I was successful at that.
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Didn t want to do it.
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Sold the business.
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I m doing something else now.
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I m fishing on the Great Lakes.
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That s interesting.
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But I think we miss the season sometimes.
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Absolutely.
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I m really interested in Adam Venateri.
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is a first ballot Hall of Fame place kicker for the National Football League, arguably the best kicker ever, has always said, when he s done, you re not going to see him anymore.
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He s just going to disappear.
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He s not going to have a big show.
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They re not going to have fireworks and all this jazz.
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He s just going to go.
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And you know what?
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Have you heard from him?
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Seen him?
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Haven t.
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Not a word.
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That is what I m talking about.
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He has this separation from identifying his career and his accolades to what is truly important to him, and they re not mixed together.
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I just really admire that.
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You want to hear something really strange that you would say that?
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Yes.
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We were watching the game yesterday, my wife and her parents, and the new field goal kicker for the Colts came on.
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This is not a Colts thing.
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And my wife says, who was our kicker last year?
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We could not remember Vinatieri s name.
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He s the world.
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And my 92-year-old grandfather said, you kidding me?
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It s Adam Vinatieri.
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how quickly we forget, and he hasn t been in the news, so we forgot about him.
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And he won t be.
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That s just not who he is, and having been around him on the field, he just doesn t care about those things.
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He loved what he did, and when it was time to stop, he s just going to stop and move on to the next.
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I admire that.
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So that was a treat for our Indianapolis, our local football fans.
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SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
1
SPEAKER_01
All the Raiders fans have turned us off now.
1
SPEAKER_01
Texans and everybody else.
1
SPEAKER_00
But we kind of thought that it would be healthy, especially on Halloween week, to talk about some of our fears.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I think it is.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think it s a good conversation for you to have with your partner, your spouse, your manager, or just yourself.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_00
And sit sometimes in the darkness and the still of night and just think about, what part of my life is not working?
1
SPEAKER_00
And is it something I m afraid of?
1
SPEAKER_00
Am I afraid of letting it go?
1
SPEAKER_00
Am I afraid of going all in, as Brian said earlier?
1
SPEAKER_00
We have lots of fears.
1
SPEAKER_00
And there s nothing wrong.
2
SPEAKER_00
we get so hung up and, well, I don t want to let anybody know I ve got that fear.
2
SPEAKER_00
And it s like, well, they re dealing with their own stuff, so they probably don t really care about your fears.
2
SPEAKER_00
But I think it s true.
2
SPEAKER_00
I think it s good to acknowledge that we have some discomfort.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I think this pandemic has brought on a whole new sense of self-awareness for us, too.
2
SPEAKER_02
Great episode for you to do your own personal fear inventory.
2
SPEAKER_02
What am I afraid of?
2
SPEAKER_02
You will see these fears creep up all over the place.
2
SPEAKER_02
If you re a salesperson, they ll creep up and they ll show themselves in the funniest of ways.
2
SPEAKER_02
They ll show themselves like, I don t want to call them back.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m a little nervous to do that.
2
SPEAKER_02
I don t want to lose the deal.
2
SPEAKER_02
All those things that we talked about that are tactical have much deeper meaning if you let them.
2
SPEAKER_02
It s all there, we ll tell you.
2
SPEAKER_00
All right, see you next time on the Advanced Selling Podcast.
2
SPEAKER_00
Make sure you go to our LinkedIn page, group page, and get acclimated, get to be a member of the group if you re not already.
2
SPEAKER_00
AdvancedSellingPodcast.com slash LinkedIn.
2
SPEAKER_00
See you next time.
2
SPEAKER_00
Bye.