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Hello, and welcome back to a series that I have here on Anything Goes called Advice Session, where you send in your current dilemmas or anything that you want advice on, and I give my unprofessional advice.
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In honor of the Met Gala this week, I ve decided to curate a special list of your current dilemmas that somehow relate to things that I have advice on because I ve learned weird things from attending red carpet events, from posing for photos, to putting together a flattering outfit, to
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socializing in high-pressure situations.
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I ve weirdly learned a lot from attending red carpet events, and it ll allow me to provide you with some unprofessional advice.
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Let s waste no time and get right into it.
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Number one, somebody said, how do I pose for photos and not look awkward?
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I always feel weird when taking a photo and it s obvious in the picture.
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Help.
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I think there s a few things here, okay?
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There are a few separate variables that impact the way that you feel when taking a photo.
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And I think that that is key to getting comfortable in front of the camera.
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I want to tell a story really quickly about my first photo shoot, like my first big campaign.
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It was for Hollister swimsuits.
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So it s like already scary because it s a campaign and I need to pose and look pretty in clothes, which is something I was not very familiar with.
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but also it was in bathing suits so I m half naked as well.
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It was possibly the worst situation you could have for someone who s new to taking photos, especially in a professional sense, right?
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It sort of reminds me of acting or singing
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When I think about the most challenging part about acting or singing, it s getting out of your own way.
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There s something about our ego that gets threatened when we perform in some way, because performing is vulnerable.
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You re putting effort in and trying to do a good job, and there s a risk that if you don t do a good job, that it s really embarrassing.
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And all of these things, acting, singing, modeling, in a way like modeling for photos, whatever, there s good singing and there s bad singing.
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There s good acting and there s bad acting.
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There s good modeling and there s bad modeling.
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All of these things can be done wrong, which is why there s such a huge risk when you put yourself out there and you try to do it, right?
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And so I think with all of these things, the first step is to get out of your own way and be okay with being embarrassed.
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Because there are going to be times when you look stupid.
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There are going to be times when you sound stupid.
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And you have to learn to accept that and to be comfortable with that feeling.
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And I found that the best way to get over yourself is to practice.
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Now, when it comes to taking photos, you can set up self-timer on your phone and just start practicing posing.
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And you can look back and be like, huh, how was that?
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Okay, was that bad?
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Was that good?
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You don t need someone else to be there to take photos.
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And what s nice about taking photos is that also you can look at the result alone and analyze it alone.
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And you can practice this very well on your own in the safety of your solitude.
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Whereas when it comes to singing or acting, a lot of times it s hard to judge your own singing.
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It s hard to judge your own acting because you re so deep in it.
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It s very hard to reflect.
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Yeah, you can take videos and watch them back.
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But I don t know.
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There s something about singing and acting that is even more challenging in a way to get over yourself because I feel like there s just much more to critique there.
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And I don t know.
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And it s harder to judge your own work in a way.
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Whereas when it comes to a photo, it s two-dimensional, you know?
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It s much easier to analyze on your own.
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Anyway, that s a great way to practice.
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Beyond that, you can do little photo shoots with your friends more often.
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It s all about practicing, practicing, practicing, figuring out what feels good, what you know looks good, figuring out your angles through practice, through trial and error, and slowly but surely becoming confident in your ability to take a good photo of yourself.
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It s exposure therapy.
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That s the only thing that I found that helps me because my first few photo shoots were a catastrophe.
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I felt so uncomfortable posing.
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I was so afraid of being embarrassed.
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And it ended up creating images that were more embarrassing in a way because you could tell that I was uncomfortable.
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It would have been overall probably less embarrassing to have just accepted the fact that I might look stupid while I m posing.
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And it might be embarrassing and the photographer might think, wow, she has no idea what she s doing.
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That s so funny and so cute.
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But if I would have tried and just settled into it and accepted it and surrendered to it, it would have ended up looking good.
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And I wouldn t have been crying in the bathroom during the photo shoot, freaking out and saying, I can t do this anymore because that did happen to me.
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So that s number one, sort of surrendering to the potential embarrassment and putting your ego aside and just saying, you know what?
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To be human is to take photos.
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You know, this is a part of our lives now.
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It s nothing to be ashamed of.
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And posing for a photo, it s not that embarrassing.
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And even if it is, who gives a fuck?
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My second tip is to practice in the mirror.
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This is so embarrassing, but I ve practiced in the mirror a lot before photo shoots, before red carpet events, just figuring out what looks good in the clothes that I m wearing.
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And it might sound like overkill, but it s incredibly helpful.
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Like literally my stylist Jared and I set out like five minutes before we leave for a red carpet event for me to pose in the mirror and figure out what poses look good in the outfit and what emphasizes, you know, certain details of the outfit in the best way possible.
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What angles look the best with my hair, with my makeup, like what looks the best because
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I don t know, understanding your body and what you re wearing and how to best present it makes it easy when it comes time to take a photo.
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So if you, you know, obviously we ll broaden this advice a little bit.
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Every once in a while when you think of it and you re in the bathroom by yourself, you can practice posing for a photo.
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And it s embarrassing, even though you re alone and no one s seeing, it s still kind of embarrassing, but it s incredibly helpful.
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And it helps you figure out what you like.
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And it really makes sense as to why it works, because you re connecting your physical movements now with a visual.
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Most of the time when you re taking a photo, you can t see what you look like.
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So you re nervous.
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You re like, God, I don t know what I look like when I smile like this.
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What does it look like?
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Does it look bad?
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Oh, I don t know what it looks like when I bend one knee a little bit.
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Does that look flattering?
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And you can doubt yourself and get in your head when you re unfamiliar with what it looks like to pose in certain ways.
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But if you practice in the mirror, then you become familiar with what it looks like when you smile a certain way, when you look serious in a certain way, when you angle your body in a certain way, when you pop your knee in a certain way.
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You eventually connect what it looks like with
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a mirror in front of you with what it looks like when you don t and you re just alone with the camera.
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You know what I m saying?
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And you can t see yourself.
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It just sort of connects the dots and it gives you a better connection to your body movements in a way.
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And last but not least, I think it really helps to surround yourself with people who don t judge you.
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It s very hard to have someone who is judgmental taking a photo of you.
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So let s say you re someone who, you know, you like to, you use Instagram for fun, right?
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And who else is going to take your Instagram photos other than your friends?
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Like the people in my life who take my Instagram photos are my friends, my family.
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I mean, sometimes I shoot with photographers as well, but when it comes to like my more casual sort of photos, those are friends and family.
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Even though I have a lot of practice now with posing in front of the camera,
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If someone is behind the camera who is judgmental of me, I cannot pose.
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I freeze up.
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I m weird.
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I m awkward.
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And for the most part, you know, it s like the people in our lives are the people who are taking photos of us.
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If you re surrounding yourself with people who judge you for who you are, how the fuck are you supposed to pose for a photo for them?
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So it sort of comes down to this, like, larger issue of, like, who is in your life?
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And do you feel accepted by them?
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Do you feel free to be goofy or to embarrass yourself in front of them?
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Because if you surround yourself with people like that, it s so much easier to allow yourself to be embarrassed, not just with them, but also in general in life, because your closed circle allows you to exist in that mental space often.
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And so then when you go outside of that group, it s easy for you to check into that mental space of just being like, hey, I can be myself.
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And people like me when I m myself because you have people around you who remind you that constantly.
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Okay, number two, somebody said, how do I do makeup that looks good in photos and in person?
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It usually looks good in one, but not the other.
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I understand this.
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I m not a makeup artist, okay?
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So like, some of you might be like, Emma, I don t want to hear this from you.
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Fair enough.
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However, I ve studied what makeup artists do for me, and I ve studied what I do on myself, and I ve learned a lot.
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So here s what I ve learned.
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And I m a rookie.
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Like, I m a makeup rookie.
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I don t know a lot about makeup.
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I love doing my makeup, actually.
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but I m not like an artist at it by any means.
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Let s start with the skincare.
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This is something that s very well known nowadays, but the skincare prep before the makeup is so important for keeping the skin looking like skin.
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If you put foundation, which can sometimes dry a bit dry, on a dry face, your skin is just gonna look dry and papery and like not good.
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if you properly moisturize and hydrate the skin before you put the makeup on, it ll sit on this like gorgeous sheet of moisture and your skin will look more supple and more normal like skin, like natural skin.
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So I tend to keep it simple.
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I just wash my face and then I do
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a thin layer of moisturizer and a thin layer of face oil.
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Now, face oil doesn t work under all types of foundations.
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Sometimes oil can like not meld well with foundation.
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However, I haven t had an issue with that.
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All the foundations I use have been all good with putting oil underneath it, but the oil really
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keeps you looking sort of dewy and hydrated all day in a way that looks very natural and, you know, whatever.
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I also think foundation matching, like making sure that your foundation and your concealer match properly is so important.
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Like, if you re like me and you don t know how to match it, talk to a fucking professional and have them match it for you because that will make your makeup not look good if it s not the right shade.
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a lot of times it looks really good on camera to do makeup really heavy okay like contour your face really heavily mattify the face in certain areas like really reduce the shininess to make your face look super like perfect and like filtered almost airbrushed
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you know, it can look good to have like really thick eyelashes on in a way just like really brings the eyelashes out because there s something about the camera that sort of dulls the effective makeup.
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Like you can be wearing a decent amount of makeup and then turn your phone camera on and be like, wait, it looks like I m wearing none.
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There s just something about the phone that makes everything look less extreme.
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It like dulls the features to a point that makes it so that if you want things to really show up, you kind of have to overdo it in person.
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Now the problem with that is makeup that looks good on camera, when it s super visible and it s super extreme, it just tends not to look as good in person.
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You know, it can look at times overly cakey because maybe there s too much powder to mattify things.
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It can look overly contoured where it s like you look at the side of someone s face and you re like, that s so much contour.
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Like it just looks like, you know, a deeper shade of fucking like line down the face.
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You know, it s just like, what is that?
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The eyelashes can look too overwhelming.
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It can overpower the face.
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So I think finding the perfect balance is,
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you know it s like if you want it to look good on camera but then also good in person it s like basically pushing it as far as you can in person constantly checking in the mirror in different lightings and stuff to make sure that nothing s too extreme pushing it as far as you can go while still making sure that it s not overpowering in person it s like finding that perfect balance and it takes practice but i recommend checking in every different light
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Like, look in shaded light, look in direct sunlight, look in partially shaded sunlight.
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Like, take a mirror out and fucking walk around the house and like check a bunch of different lightings and see what it looks like.
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Because that s where you can find certain flaws.
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Like, oh, I didn t blend well enough or oh, I over applied here or whatever.
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testing it out is really important and taking your phone out and looking in the phone and eventually you ll get into a place where you understand how to do it where like it can look good everywhere but I ve found you know specifically when it comes to red carpets the lighting is so unpredictable and you know sometimes people are filming and and so it s not a photo with extreme lighting it s more of a realistic view of the makeup and so makeup artists have to sort of balance
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making it look extreme enough to show up on camera but also not so much that it looks really unflattering when it s not in like a flash photography photo.
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I found that certain things that work for me is kind of taking it easy on the skin like you know covering blemishes and stuff like that of course
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but going light with the product, like going in with one layer of product.
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If I need full coverage foundation, going in with a full coverage foundation instead of trying to build up like a light or medium coverage foundation.
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Using the least amount of product possible just tends to make things sit better.
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Also, fake eyelashes tend to look good in photo, but then in person can sometimes look a bit goofy on me.
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It overpowers my eyes.
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so we tend to avoid those.
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I refuse to fill in my eyebrows because when I fill in my eyebrows, it can look good in person, but then in photos, my eyebrows can look like blocks, so we just don t do it at all.
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You know, you have to weigh pros and cons of certain things, but it s a lot of testing, a lot of trial and error, and eventually you sort of figure it out, I guess.
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Next, somebody said, how to put together an outfit that s flattering.
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I feel like half the time my outfits look kind of off.
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I so understand this because it s actually kind of a challenge to put together an outfit that is balanced in flattering when it comes to
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the silhouettes and the way that things fit.
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However, I do think the most important thing is having clothes that fit properly.
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That s step number one for things to be flattering.
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Like if a shirt is too tight or it s too big, it s not going to be flattering for the most part.
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There s obviously times when like maybe, you know, a more oversized baggier look can be cool.
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Totally.
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But it s almost more challenging sometimes to find things that are oversized, baggy, that are flattering because they re not naturally supposed to fit you.
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Now that that s a style and a trend, there are more things that you can find in shops that are like supposed to look oversized but in a flattering way, you know?
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Like that is a way that
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brands are manufacturing clothing, producing, they re creating clothing with that in mind.
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However, there are times when you just want something to fit oversized, so you buy it oversized.
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Or maybe you went down in a size, so now something s too big, it doesn t really fit quite right anymore.
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And you can try to make it work, but a lot of times, it s just not going to look flattering, it s just not going to look right.
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And same thing if you re like,
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squeezing into a pair of jeans that don t fit you anymore.
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And I ve tried to do that.
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I ve been like, I love these jeans.
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I grew out of them, but I love them and I want to keep wearing them.
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But they don t look right.
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The butt looks squished and it s sort of squeezing my waist really tight.
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you can see that it s like cinching my waist really tight and it looks unflattering because it s like squeezing my body and it doesn t look quite right.
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And it s frustrating when clothes doesn t fit right and you can try to make it work.
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But I think, you know, the best thing you can do for yourself is number one, just buy clothes that fit you.
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And not only is that more comfortable, but it s ultimately more flattering.
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So having clothes that fit right, that s number one.
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If you re struggling, you re like, God, I cannot find clothes that fit me in the store.
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Don t worry.
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That s common, okay?
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They can t possibly make things for every single different type
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of like you know some people have really long arms some people have like maybe wide hips but like a narrower waist or some people have you know wide hips and they have like really long legs some people have what it s like there s so many different body types
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that exist in this world, and what a beautiful thing that is.
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However, brands, a lot of them try, which is amazing, but it s very rare that there s something for everyone.
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It s just, it s so challenging, which is why I have started getting things tailored.
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So it s not ideal all the time, and it s definitely, you know, you have to pay for that.
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So it s like an added cost in addition to what you ve purchased, like the piece of clothing that you ve purchased.
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However, it is so helpful.
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And it s something that you ll be able to wear for a long time and you can rely on this piece of clothing because it s flattering.
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You know it s flattering, it fits you properly.
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So that s number one.
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But problem number two is balancing the silhouettes of clothing.
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Now, I wish that there was some sort of formula for this.
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And I think that to an extent there is.
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Like, this is somewhat opinion-based.
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Like, some people might disagree with me.
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Like, what s flattering in my eyes might not be flattering in other people s eyes.
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So there is some of this that is subjective.
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And a lot of times you do need to go based on feel.
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I think that there are some general rules that I follow.
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I don t know if they re universal.
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Maybe they re not, but like for example, if I m wearing a sneaker, okay, the types of pants that look good with a sneaker are usually either a baggier pant that like covers the whole top of
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shoe for the most part or it s a slightly cropped pant like a high water that shows a little bit of ankle that tends to be flattering with a sneaker or you can see a little bit of the sock or you know shorts like
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can look flattering with a sneaker, but I tend to think it looks weird without some sort of higher-up sock, like a mid-calf sock.
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I think that that tends to look more flattering than wearing an ankle sock.
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I think ankle boots, like boots that cut off at the ankle,
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tend to be pretty unflattering unless you re wearing a pant or a dress or a skirt that goes all the way past it and covers the ankle, whereas a knee-high boot looks more flattering with short skirts, short shorts, maybe like a mid-calf skirt where like
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it all just looks like one sort of unit in a way.
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I think crop tops, well, I don t really like crop tops anymore.
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I think they re not very timeless to me, but I think a cropped shirt looks nice with a higher-waisted pant because it just tends to look more balanced.
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a crop top in like a low-waisted pant, like whereas I like a lower-waisted pant with like a long shirt that maybe leaves like a little sliver of skin, but that just tends to look more balanced to me.
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I don t know, there are like all these different rules that I have in my head that I ve learned over the years from trial and error, figuring out like what to me looks balanced on my specific body type, and it s very different for everyone.
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You know?
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So I think it is a matter of trial and error.
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And, you know, I wish that there was a better solution.
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Like, I wish that there was a mathematical equation.
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But I think it tends to come down to trial and error.
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And I think a lot of times something can look off and it s because, you know what, you re wearing the wrong shoe.
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You know, like, oh, I m wearing this outfit with a sneaker, but it would actually look way better with a boot.
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Or, oh, I m wearing a loafer with this outfit, but it would actually look better with a boot.
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Oh, I m wearing a boot with this outfit and it would actually look better with a ballet flat.
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Or anyway, I think a lot of it is trial and error.
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And I think over time you build sort of formulas for your outfits and you just start to figure out what looks good with what.
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Like, I like the way dress pants look with loafers.
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I like the way that skirts, long skirts, look with boots or with a loafer with a sock.
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Like that always looks really balanced and flattering.
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I like to wear longer shirts, longer sweaters with a long skirt because that looks really flattering together.
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Whereas I like to wear maybe a bit shorter of a shirt or a bit shorter of a sweater with jeans because I like to be able to see the pockets because that tends to be more flattering.
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I don t like to cover the waist section of jeans.
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It doesn t look as good.
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I know that I like to add a belt sometimes to pull in the color of the shoe.
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I don t know.
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There s just so many things that I ve learned over the years.
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And so I think it s a matter of trial and error.
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And I ve learned a lot about this from red carpet events and events in general because a lot of times, you know, outfits get photographed.
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And so I am very aware when I m looking at the photo whether or not the outfit was flattering.
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And what I ve learned more specifically from red carpets rather than like me just getting sort of dressed on a day-to-day basis is, you know, of course still like balancing silhouettes and colors and all these things and making sure that it s tailored properly.
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That s also very important with red carpet.
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But also figuring out something that works for your body.
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Like there are certain things that I just don t like on my body.
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It s just not flattering.
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Like I do not like
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any sort of silhouette that makes my shoulders look broad.
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Like, I tend to avoid things that have a scoop neck, for example, because scoop neck does not look good on me for some reason.
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I just don t like, it s not flattering on me.
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I just don t like the way that it looks.
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I don t like dresses that are in bright colors.
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Like, I don t tend to wear gowns that are like really bright colors because those colors are not flattering on me.
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And instead of going into picking out a look with the idea like, oh, I just really want to objectively like this outfit,
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or like this dress or like this gown or like this outfit, whatever.
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I go into it with the mindset of, what do I like that also flatters me in my body?
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And it s kind of heartbreaking at times, I think, because it s like, oh my God, but I really love this, but it s not flattering on me.
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There are so many things that I love that do not flatter me, just does not look good on me.
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because I feel more confident and more satisfied when I m wearing something, when it s flattering, I have to make that choice and be like, you know what?
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This doesn t flatter my body.
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I don t like the way that it looks on me.
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So guess what?
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I m just not going to wear it and I m going to take that loss because something being flattering is my number one priority when it comes to, well, it s not my number one priority, but it s one of my top priorities when it comes to putting on an outfit.
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So at times you have to remind yourself that it s not just about what you like, but also about what you feel looks good on you, too.
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And I think that that s why, you know, we tend to buy so many things and become dissatisfied, especially when we order online and stuff, because
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We re ordering just based on what we like and not based on what flatters us and that s why it s so helpful to go shopping in person because you can try things on and see if they re flattering and you know that you re going to be satisfied with them.
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Overall, this whole sort of process of figuring out what s flattering for you is an ongoing journey and it s a lot of trial and error and it s sometimes going to the tailor to get things to fit properly.
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but I wish you luck on your journey.
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Okay, next.
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Somebody said, my senior prom is coming up this month and I just want to feel good, but I don t even know where to start.
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I feel physically like shit and I have no idea what to wear.
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I m a mess.
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Emma, help me, girl.
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I fucking got you because when I go and do, again, like a red carpet event,
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I tend to like go on a mental physical journey beforehand so that I can feel my best because at the end of the day like going and doing a red carpet event you re going up trying to look your best and feel your best and that s what you want to present to the world on that red carpet and so I have quite a few things that I like to do.
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physically this is this goes beyond just like for an event this is just my life but I do think it s important to be moving on a daily basis as much as you can in ways that feel fit for you like for me I love workout classes okay I love the way that they make me feel physically because I feel stronger because they re challenging for me
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But then also I love the endorphins that I experience afterwards.
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So that actually not only helps me physically, but also helps me mentally.
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And I m just overall in a better physical mental space when I m exercising.
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But you can find what that looks like for you.
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It s so different for everyone.
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If you want to go for a walk every day outside, maybe it s walking your dog.
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Make that into your exercise moment of the, you know, your movement moment of the day.
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Maybe it s yoga.
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Maybe it s, I don t know, like signing up for a sport, like an adult recreational sport.
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It doesn t matter.
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But movement in general in life is so, it s just, you can t,
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go wrong with it.
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You know what I mean?
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It helps with everything.
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It s undeniably helpful.
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And so, especially when I have an event coming up, I m like, you know what, I m going to use this time to like recenter myself, but to also feel just like physically strong and good and healthy and that
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feels good.
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That s a good feeling.
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So adding that into the routine I think can really help with physically feeling like shit.
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But also I think cooking at home really helps me feel better physically.
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Like when I m eating out a lot, a lot of times the food that you either get, you know, pre-prepared or
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from restaurants.
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It doesn t feel as good running through the body.
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I don t know.
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There s just ingredients in there that maybe don t make you feel as good sometimes.
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This is at least my experience.
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For the most part, eating out tends to not make me feel good physically.
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It can fuck with my stomach.
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I tend to maybe eat less nutritious foods when I m eating out a lot.
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So that just doesn t make me feel good either.
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I m not as energized.
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Maybe I m feeling kind of lazy or sluggish.
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When I cook at home, on the other hand, I m usually cooking things that are more nutritious, do have fresher, better ingredients.
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And that can really help me feel better.
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My stomach feels better.
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I mean, I have IBS anyway, so I already have a sensitive stomach.
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And so I know what ingredients I should and shouldn t use to keep my tummy in a happy place.
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But also, I don t know, I m just like, I know what I m putting in there and I m putting more simple ingredients in there and it just feels better in my body.
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So that helps a lot too.
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I think just
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Whatever type of movement feels good for you, and then also cooking for yourself, I think, really is helpful.
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And you just, I don t know, you just end up feeling better.
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And then when it comes to picking out an outfit, I think the first step is to get a basic idea about what you want.
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You might not end up getting what you want, or you might end up changing your mind once you start really shopping, but there is something helpful and inspiring about having an idea of what you want.
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Get on Pinterest.
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Make a Pinterest board.
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Start pinning different dresses
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is start figuring out what you like and what you don t like and get a basic idea of that.
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And then I really think it s good to go shop in person, to be honest, because it s just so much easier and it s foolproof.
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Like you can just narrow down the list of options so quickly when you re, I don t know, in person and you re like trying things on and you re like, wait, that doesn t fit.
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Instead of like ordering six dresses online and getting them all delivered and none of them fit properly.
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But I think mood boarding is crucial.
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Because then it gives you something to look for.
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Otherwise, you re just like, oh my God, I m overwhelmed by these options.
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I have decision fatigue.
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Now at least you have something to cling to.
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Like, okay, I know I like blue dresses, so I m just going to look in the blue dress section.
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Or I know I like dresses with a sweetheart neckline, so you know what?
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I m going to go in the section with all the dresses with the sweetheart necklines.
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You know what I mean?
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It gives you something to look for, and that s very helpful.
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And last but not least, somebody said, how to communicate properly in high pressure situations.
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I always freeze up or blurt out nonsense.
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I m just not good under pressure.
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I don t know.
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I have a lot of experience with this at events like the Met where I m interviewing people or even I m just inside at the dinner at the gala itself and I m, you know, around all of these people that are put very much on a pedestal in society, you know, and I m in a room with these people and I m like, how the fuck am I supposed to be acting?
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I found that the most helpful thing to do is to take everyone and everything off of the pedestal.
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If you re trying to bring yourself up and put yourself on the pedestal too, you have it all wrong.
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When you re in a high-pressure situation,
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it s usually because you re taking something very seriously.
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And it s not inherently bad to be taking things seriously.
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However, if you re taking things seriously to a point where it s debilitating for you, there s a chance it s because something or someone is on a pedestal in a way that s unhealthy for you.
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The second that you take that off the pedestal, the pressure has alleviated 50%, at least, if not more.
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So for me, when it comes to interviewing people at the Met Gala or having a really serious meeting with important people who could make or break certain things for me, you know, when it comes to things like that, I have to just take it off the pedestal.
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So, you know, because today s episode is about what I ve learned from the red carpet, let s use the Met Gala interviews as an example.
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what I did psychologically to sort of take the pressure off of myself so that I could behave normally, I had to, number one, reinforce my belief that celebrities are just normal people and that they belong on the pedestal no more than the next guy, which is ultimately true.
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Celebrities, yeah, a lot of them are very talented, have special talents.
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A lot of them are very charismatic and good looking and you feel like they re godlike in a way.
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They re not.
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They re normal.
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It s like talking to anyone else.
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If I m not nervous to talk to the barista at the coffee shop in the morning, I shouldn t be nervous to talk to a celebrity on the red carpet.
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Why?
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Because they are the exact same human.
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It s just human.
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It s just talking to humans.
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I knew that.
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I ve believed that for a while now.
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But it s one thing to believe that.
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It s another thing to be faced with it.
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And it has been very important for me to actively repeat to myself that truth.
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And in moments when I catch myself getting all riled up, that is a normal fucking person.
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So chill the fuck out.
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Who cares if you embarrass yourself in front of them?
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Who cares if you fuck it up?
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It doesn t fucking matter because they re human and they poop and they wipe just the way the rest of us do, okay?
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But to take it to another example, it s like, let s say you re having a conversation with your significant other that s really uncomfortable and it s high pressure and you freeze up and you get nervous.
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It s the same thing with that.
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It s like,
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Okay, you know, chances are you re putting the relationship up on a pedestal and that s why you re so nervous.
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That s why there s so much pressure because you re like, I don t want to lose this relationship.
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This relationship means so much to me and if I confront, then I might lose it and I really don t want to lose it.
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You have to take the relationship off that pedestal and you have to be like, listen, you know what?
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This relationship is really special to me.
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It means a lot to me.
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However, there are a lot of fish in the sea and if this doesn t work out, it wasn t supposed to.
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And it s no better than what I could actually go find elsewhere.
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There s a good chance that I could find something even better elsewhere if this doesn t work out.
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Take it off of the pedestal.
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Give it an air of reality.
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And through that, take the pressure off of yourself.
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And I think the best way to do this is to number one, figure out why the situation is high pressure.
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And then number two, figure out what needs to be taken off the pedestal.
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Then to remind yourself over and over and over and over again when you re faced with the high pressure situation, why it does not need to be as high pressure as it feels and why you do not need to freeze up and why you don t need to act different and why you don t need to overthink things.
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All right, you guys, that s it.
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That s all my advice for today.
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I hope that you enjoyed it.
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I hope that some of it was helpful.
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My God, was it unprofessional, but I hope it was still at least helpful.
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I just love you all, and I love that we get to hang out, and I always have fun when we get to hang out.
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And if you enjoyed it, hey, tune in.
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New episodes of Anything Goes every Thursday and Sunday anywhere you stream podcasts.
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Video is exclusive to Spotify, though.
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You can check out my Instagram at Emma Chamberlain.
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SPEAKER_00
You can check out my TikTok at Emma Chamberlain.
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SPEAKER_00
You can check out my YouTube at Emma Chamberlain.
3
SPEAKER_00
You can check out Anything Goes Instagram or TikTok at Anything Goes.
3
SPEAKER_00
You can go check out my coffee company at Chamberlain Coffee on everything.
3
SPEAKER_00
ChamberlainCoffee.com to use the store locator and see if we re in a store near you or just order directly from the website directly to your door.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you guys, that s all I have for today.
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Thank you so much for listening and hanging out.
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I love you all.
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SPEAKER_00
I appreciate you all.
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SPEAKER_00
We have so much fun together.
3
SPEAKER_00
Don t we just have so much fun together?
3
SPEAKER_00
I know we do.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, I just love you.
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SPEAKER_00
Okay, I will talk to you soon.
3
SPEAKER_00
I will be talking to you in a few days.
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SPEAKER_00
Okay, I love you all.
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SPEAKER_00
Bye.
3
SPEAKER_00
Love you.
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SPEAKER_00
Bye.
3
SPEAKER_00
Love you.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, love you.
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SPEAKER_00
Bye.