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This is The Art of Charm.
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Learn everything you need to know to crush it in business, love, and life.
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The Art of Charm is where ordinary guys become extraordinary men.
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Welcome to the Art of Charm.
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I m Jordan Harbinger.
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The Art of Charm brings together the best thought leaders, teachers, and exceptional individuals to teach you how to be a top performer in life, love, and at work.
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Imagine having a mix of experienced mentors teaching you their expertise and packing decades of research, testing, and tough lessons into a curriculum.
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We may not have all the answers, but we definitely have all the questions.
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Make sure to stay up to date with the Art of Charm and get some great stuff that we don t or can t share on the show by signing up for the newsletter at theartofcharm.com.
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That s where you ll get our Fundamentals Toolkit.
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We cover topics like body language, nonverbal communication, dating, attraction, persuasion, business networking, public speaking, negotiation, and a whole lot more, and we ve got our live programs running every week here in Los Angeles, California.
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Got guys from all over the world, which shows that no matter where you are, you can make it here if you want to learn and grow.
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Denmark, for God s sake.
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Guys from all over the US and Canada, we re sold out a few months in advance, so if you re thinking about it even a little, get in touch ASAP by phone or just email me, jordan at theyardofcharm.com.
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Get some info from us now so you can plan ahead.
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Looking forward to meeting you here at AOC.
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Today we re talking with Matt Moore, author of A Southern Gentleman s Kitchen.
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We re gonna talk about becoming a better version of yourself through cooking, personally, in relationships, friendships, and in business, by sharing food with others, and the process of cooking a meal, which is kind of surprising, and not really in my personal wheelhouse.
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So let s hear it from Matt Moore.
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Tell us what you do in one sentence, because I assume you re not just a cook, because if you are, this is gonna be a short episode of the show.
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No, I am a Nashville, Tennessee-based author, cook, entrepreneur, as I said earlier, recovering musician, and probably most importantly, a Southern gentleman.
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If you live in Tennessee, you have to be a musician.
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Is that true?
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I feel like, you know, if you go out to a restaurant and you re sitting around and if you were to pose a question like, hey, who in here is a musician?
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You d probably find like 95 percent of the people would raise their hand in Nashville and Nashville.
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Yeah.
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In Nash.
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I don t mean in Tennessee.
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I mean, in Nashville.
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Yeah.
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Everybody I know who moved to Nashville, even the tech guys who are like, it s the next Austin there.
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They re living there and they love it there.
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But they re also like, and I picked up the guitar and I m like, duh, of course you did.
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Why wouldn t you?
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It s like not even original here anymore, and you guys are based in California, right?
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We are so I would say that the probably like the largest migration that s occurring right now is people from Los Angeles Deciding that like Nashville, Tennessee is the coolest place for them to live so Lots of folks are coming here.
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I m sorry to hear that
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I m very happy to hear it.
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Less traffic.
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Yeah, less traffic.
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Hopefully it s the... I can imagine the people that move to Nashville, though, are the people that you d want to stay neighbors with in L.A., and they re leaving because there s too many other turds in L.A.
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Yeah, thus far I ve met some really cool people, so I won t say anything negative about these L.A.ers.
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So actor, singer, photographer in L.A.
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is now going to be singer, musician, cook in Nashville.
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You know what s crazy, to be honest with you though, there s a ton of film development here in Nashville.
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And I m not just speaking about like the drama soap opera, Nashville on ABC, but more and more folks within that industry are really finding kind of a niche here that they may have not found out in LA.
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And I m talking to some pretty big names too.
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So it s pretty interesting to see what s transpiring.
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They ve always called it the LA of the South.
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Now we re just importing everybody from the West Coast here.
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Gotcha, well, keep importing, please.
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As many as you can handle.
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As many as you want, yeah, exactly.
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You yourself are a man about television, right?
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You re on the Today Show, Fox, basically in Better Homes and Gardens.
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If it s on in the corner of a Chinese restaurant and it s in English, you ve been on that program, right?
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Yeah, I feel super fortunate.
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You know today and and all the great shows like that Fox News I think one of my more favorite ones that I just did on this most recent book tour was vh1 the the big morning buzz with Nick Lachey and Like it s really a kick-ass TV show honestly in a morning show and when I was cooking I was really hoping he was gonna ask the question like during a cookbook
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cooking segment, like all right, what temperature are we cooking this at?
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And I was very sarcastically planning on saying right at or around 98 degrees.
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But we never got there.
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But yeah, really, really fun show.
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So I love to cook on live TV.
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It s always a great opportunity to kind of showcase what I m doing and hopefully get it out there to a larger audience.
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I wonder how many times he s heard that joke.
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You know, he, like you, Jordan, needs some help in the kitchen.
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So specifically, I think they booked me to kind of rib him a little bit and help him out.
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And he ended up doing a pretty good job.
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And that s kind of the challenge for today is to maybe create a call to action for you to go cook, because it s only your two hours behind me in California.
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So you can still go out and source some ingredients and make a nice dinner.
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I won t even need to.
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I got blue apron.
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We ll talk about that.
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We ll talk about that.
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I think it s a positive.
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Jason, we got to throw a blue apron spot in here, even if there s not supposed to be one, because we just, we primed it.
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I think we just did.
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Nice.
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Yeah.
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Good advertising.
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Yeah.
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Tell us what you re going to teach us tonight, because honestly, teaching cooking on the radio, you got your work cut out for you.
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So it s going to be not that.
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Oh, I mean, were you guys expecting like a Rachel Ray or Guy Fieri?
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No, no, no.
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Guy Fieri.
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You know, if Ed Hardy designed a person, it would be Guy Fieri.
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Well, I can t.
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That s actually probably the most perfect description of that gentleman that I ve ever heard.
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And, you know, I m a Southern guy, so I called him a gentleman.
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No, that s not what we re going to talk about.
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In fact, you know, I want to convince your listeners that they can become better versions of themselves, both personally and relationships and friendships and in business and a strange manner by actually cooking and sharing food with others.
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Good, because honestly the Rachel Ray thing has me a little, is reeling.
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Side note, now that we re gonna spend too much time on it, I was at the barbershop and Rachel Ray was on and all these like middle-aged Hispanic dudes are watching Rachel Ray while they re cutting hair and we re drinking beer, which I thought was really funny.
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Not that it s a woman s show or anything, it was just kind of out of all the things on television, the last thing I expected to be on there.
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But she was cooking something and it was like corn,
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noodles and some other kind of grain.
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I can t, rice maybe?
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And she s like, this is a really healthy vegetarian meal.
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And I remember thinking, that s not healthy at all.
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It s 100% carbs along with some corn, which is like some of the worst kind of carbs you can get.
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and there was no protein in it, nothing.
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And it just kind of reminded me that Americans don t know squat about nutrition at all.
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And you know, whether or not you can cook or come up with a recipe, you need to know why this stuff is important.
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And I think just knowing, having a cultural shift towards being more aware of this, spoken like a guy who never cooks anything, right, is important.
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And it goes along with entertaining as well.
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I mean, this isn t just something... Well, first of all, even the show prep, the first bullet point is, why aren t you cooking?
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And the reason is because I m lazy.
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I think we are totally guilty of being creatures of convenience.
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I know for a lot of your listeners, more and more folks tend to associate success with having less time, and the whole outsource mentality comes about.
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Cooking is usually one of those that s like, you know what, I don t have time for 30 minutes or an hour.
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to make a meal.
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So I m going to outsource that.
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And we ll talk about some of the health reasons why I think that s not a great thing.
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But more importantly, I think you brought up a really good point.
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I mean, you re sitting in a barbershop, probably one of those hipster barbershops in L.A., probably like in Silver Lake, maybe.
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No, I was in San Jose, California, totally hipster.
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Like everyone there is has got tats and they re not skinny dudes who got tats to look tough.
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These are guys who had tats because that was what their previous vocation required, if you know what I m saying.
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All right.
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So I underestimated you there.
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But I think what s interesting is you brought up like the entertainment side of cooking.
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I think, you know, Food Network and all the different things that have transpired in the whole celebrity side of cooking, even those that do not cook.
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I ve got a dear, dear friend of mine.
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He s very successful here in Nashville, Tennessee, and he almost prides himself that he s actually never cooked a meal.
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Yet when he goes out to the finest restaurants, he can critique a chef s work like he s on Top Chef because he watches it all the time.
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Yet he doesn t know how to boil water.
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So I think there s a problem.
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to a certain extent that we re so intrigued and more fascinated by the celebrity side, but we actually don t know how to put a lot of that knowledge or a lot of that entertainment into action.
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And hopefully after today, more and more folks will actually start to put that into action.
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Well, for me, I m with you on the outsource mindset.
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It s not like, oh, I don t know how to boil water.
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It s like, look, I know how to cut my own lawn, too.
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I just don t do it.
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So I view it as a chore, not as something that s fun.
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And you mentioned the entertainment, you mentioned more people should do it.
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Why is it important?
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For me, I believe that, especially on the man side, we can become better men by spending more time cooking and sharing food.
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The first thing is just a self-sufficiency.
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You know, I think we all pride ourselves on growing our careers and building strong families.
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And you mentioned earlier about health and all these other different pieces.
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To me, I think nothing is more weak than a man that can t feed himself.
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If I m always relying on someone else to prepare my meals.
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It seems a little counterintuitive to being the best that you might be able to be.
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And that s not some, you know, like go out and cook some frozen processed meal or go down to the restaurant and be able to outsource that piece.
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But I think there s a bit of a well-rounded gentleman that is made up by actually cooking for oneself.
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So it does fall to a certain extent onto that self-sufficiency prophecy.
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I can agree with that.
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I can get behind that for sure.
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I think cooking is fun when I want to do it.
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Does that make sense?
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But it s not like, I don t want to do it because I have to survive.
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I want to do it because it s fun.
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I ll cook when other people are cooking and doing this with me and it s a thing, but I don t want to have to do it because I m hungry.
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As weird as that sounds, you know, obviously me being born and raised in the South.
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I think it s so funny when I go out with my guy friends who are like the most manly Southern drawl accent gentlemen and they go out and they deer hunt and they will
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field dress a deer, they will butcher it to all ends, and they ll cook a backstrap absolutely perfectly at the hunting camp.
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But the idea of them cooking a meal for their family to them seems so not manly.
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And I m like, dude, you re doing like the most manly thing ever, and you re actually cooking, believe it or not.
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You re actually doing it from like nose to tail, this whole organic farm, know where your food comes from.
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But yeah, you come home and you kind of differentiate between the hunting camp
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Your own home and that probably probably is not something for you guys out in California But for me, I think it s a it s really something that there s like a gap There s a disparity where guys kind of draw the line of what is cool And what is not and and you say it perfectly you get a lot of enjoyment when you want to yeah But what are some reasons?
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Why are you re not cooking?
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I think that s like the bigger question I
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I d rather lay down or check my email or pretty much anything else other than doing it because if I m hungry, I just want food.
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I don t want to have to make it.
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And I look at that as kind of like a modern convenience of life.
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You know, like I said, I know how to cut my own lawn.
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I don t do it.
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Other people do it because I look at it as a chore.
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And I see what you mean about, you know, this is a primal skill set, but I mean, did you build your own house?
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I didn t.
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You know, I would die out in the cold.
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I mean, that might be a drastic comparison, right?
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It might not be, because food, water, and shelter are the three things that we literally need to survive.
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And I can t do most of those things by myself, right?
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I can find water.
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I did the Boy Scout thing.
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I can make a lean-to.
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It s going to work fine in California, maybe not so much in Michigan in wintertime.
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But, so I kind of, I get the argument, I just don t really necessarily buy into it.
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Because for me, I just don t see it as, it would be something I would need to find interesting or fun.
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And I think a lot of guys don t find it that way, so they go and they buy food.
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And I understand the health implications are probably more impactful than just like some philosophical argument about why we should be able to do it.
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You know, I think what I can share in my own personal experience is this.
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Starting out as a young guy after graduating from the University of Georgia, you re trying to find your way and you re trying to work your way up not only the corporate or social ladder, but really define your place as to who you are and the man that you re going to become.
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And if I remember one great thing from a sociology class that I had at the University of Georgia, it was this crazy experiment that people did right after Henry Ford created the whole automated line of, you know, we re going to, instead of building a car, we re going to create this whole line of work where people are just doing one single repetitive task on a daily basis.
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And what they found through that is that people were inherently unhappy.
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And I can tell you that when I was starting out and trying to find my way, you know, at the end of the day, I never really felt like I was contributing.
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You know, you re just doing some sort of task and you go out with your buddies and drink some beers and have a good time on the weekend and then go back to a job that you really never found satisfying.
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For me, cooking became an opportunity for me on a daily basis.
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where I could conceptualize, execute and enjoy an entire experience where I went from an idea to completion within a 30 minute to an hour period.
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And I got to enjoy those results.
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And I think a lot of young professionals or even folks that are immensely professional or successful, for that matter, might have a very long payoff.
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And I think cooking kind of provides like a bit
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of an immediate satisfaction, not so immediate as you calling your local takeout.
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But for me, I love that creativity behind it.
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And that s one of my big reasons beyond just the self-sufficiency or the health reasons.
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But it s being able to kind of create in that sense.
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I can understand that sort of like an artistic angle for it.
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Absolutely.
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What about the health aspects?
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I mean, a lot of people eating healthy is not just a recent trend, but it s becoming a little bit trickier now that we know that everything is bad for you.
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And even things you think are good for you are made in ways that make it bad for you, et cetera.
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So cooking kind of lets you break it, literally break things down to their components and the ingredients and figure out what s going into it, right?
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Yeah, I mean, the health aspect is one of the more interesting ones, and I think it s a bigger conversation for our whole society at large.
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But I ll challenge you.
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What do you think a chef at a restaurant, what is their goal?
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Yeah, it s got to taste good.
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Exactly.
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And in order for things to taste good, we typically will up the content of a couple different items, and those would be fat and salt, right?
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We have these natural receptors where if it s like this gelatinous or good, comfortable feeling in the terms of fat,
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or it s the savory flavor.
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And then, of course, you also have the sugar side for your dessert side as well.
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Your local chef that you re calling down at the takeout place, even if you feel like you re making healthy choices, you know, the quinoa with the pan-seared salmon and roasted asparagus, guess what?
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It s literally what I had for lunch.
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Not even kidding.
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It is literally cooked in water and butter and way too much salt, pan seared, finished with butter, roasted asparagus, finished with butter.
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And to be honest with you, Jordan, if you stood in my kitchen and I made it the same way that chef did, you d be like, bro, I mean, you re putting that much butter into it.
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And then you would taste it and you would say, man, that tastes just like the way I just got it.
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I think if you knowingly knew what went into your food, even though you think it s healthy, if you knew what was transpiring in the back of the house, you would second guess that quick takeout call or the walk down to the restaurant.
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Yeah, you re probably right.
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When I watch people cook, normally, I m always surprised at the amount of things that go into it, especially when I watch my aunt cook.
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She s like, you can just add a little oil, and it s like a cup and a half of just pure oil.
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How necessary is that ingredient?
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And then she s, you know, you can t cook it without this, and it s just, ugh.
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Or sour cream, and it s like the whole container s in there.
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It s kind of gross.
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Yeah.
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I mean, I think, you know, for certain ingredients now, again, being born and raised in the South, we certainly love to fry our chicken or fry a crawfish tail or two.
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But at the same time, I think there s been so much entertainment behind gluttony.
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You know, I mean, we talk about bacon.
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I mean, it s like
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The male audience is enthralled by bacon, and to me, I mean, bacon s fantastic, right?
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Like, I absolutely love bacon, but it s not the end-all, be-all of all great foods.
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And for me, I love to make what I would consider more modern-day substitutions.
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So you re talking about olive oil, or excuse me, oil,
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In that manner, I think there s some really cool things transpiring.
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One of my dear, dear friends in South Georgia is actually manufacturing olive oil.
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It s the first time it s been manufactured in South Georgia since it was first settled back in the 1600s.
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He s creating this healthy aspect to a lot of Southern cooking by incorporating local olive oil into foods that were traditionally fostered through
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through peanut or soybean or anything else.
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You talk about sour cream.
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In my latest book, one of the biggest substitutions that I make is protein-rich Greek yogurt instead of a sour cream.
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I think to a certain extent, I have found that younger generations have
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have, through awareness and probably maybe a little bit more information, have determined that maybe some of the things that Grandma made, they tasted fantastic, but you could make some really quick substitutions and still wind up with a great flavor without maybe the same health concerns.
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One of my favorite substitutions, as you actually have in the book and that I use a lot, is using cauliflower for potatoes.
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And I ve been making cauliflower rice, which tastes just as good, and cauliflower mashed potato.
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And that kind of substitution, you almost don t even know the difference, but it s a thousand times more healthy for you.
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Man, that is I was literally in Jekyll Island, which is just off the coast of Georgia.
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Southern Living, who I did the book with, invited me down there to do a whole chef series.
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And we did a guiltless it s called a guiltless cauliflower puree, like peeling potatoes and mashing potatoes.
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It s a pain in the ass.
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So when I was doing this book, I was actually like.
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kind of making it more complicated because I was looking at it from like a chef component.
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I was like, well, I got to roast cauliflower.
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I got to cut it off and steam it.
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And then one night I was in a bind because I went to my local grocery store here and it wasn t a fancy Whole Foods or anything like that.
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It was literally like a Kroger on the side of the street.
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And they had they didn t have fresh cauliflower.
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So I bought frozen cauliflower.
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Right.
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And like people would like in the chef world probably be like, oh, he doesn t know what he s doing by using frozen ingredients.
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I brought it home, a couple of bags, steamed it, hit it with some Greek yogurt, a little olive oil, salt and pepper, some Parmesan cheese, blended it up.
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To this day, that s probably one of the best recipes that people give feedback on.
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It s like, man, I m eating mashed potatoes without the guilt.
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SPEAKER_03
I could not agree with you more.
2
SPEAKER_03
It s one of my favorite recipes that you get that carb-rich flavor without the carbs.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, absolutely.
2
SPEAKER_02
And it pairs with everything just like potatoes.
2
SPEAKER_02
The consistency is even close to the same.
2
SPEAKER_03
We mentioned carbs.
2
SPEAKER_03
I m actually going to do this on the air.
2
SPEAKER_03
I m going to open another beer here.
2
SPEAKER_03
Go for it, man.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, we should be doing that.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I mean, the consistency is very much the same.
2
SPEAKER_03
And what I love is like for me, that s a very simple solution for somebody that doesn t want to go through a whole lot of time to prepare maybe a side dish.
2
SPEAKER_03
So it might be the guy that wants to make a great steak and he s maybe worried about that whole like
2
SPEAKER_03
baked potato or something along those lines.
2
SPEAKER_03
Very quickly, you can buy something that there s no fuss to it.
2
SPEAKER_03
You just steam it up, put it in a blender.
2
SPEAKER_03
You don t have to add any butter or anything along those lines.
2
SPEAKER_03
Just hit it with some Greek yogurt, extra virgin olive oil, which is a great fat, salt and pepper.
2
SPEAKER_03
Keep it simple, stupid.
2
SPEAKER_03
Within 10 minutes, you ve got a fantastic side dish, but you re also getting that overwhelming, like, man, this is fantastic.
2
SPEAKER_03
Tastes just like what I crave, but I m doing something a little bit more healthy.
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So I want to go back a little bit and talk about Jordan s aversion to cooking.
2
SPEAKER_02
He looks at it as a chore.
2
SPEAKER_02
I look at it as a, an opportunity for socializing with my roommate, kind of a fun family night thing to do.
2
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You sit around, you have some wine, you put the ingredients together, you re making something.
2
SPEAKER_02
And when you re done, you share it together.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I started cooking about three and a half years ago because I felt like I was kind of ridiculous as a 40 year old man who could barely make eggs in the morning.
2
SPEAKER_02
And since then, I found, you know, really good friends who I learned from now who are actually really good cooks.
2
SPEAKER_02
And it s like always social.
2
SPEAKER_02
We always just sit around the kitchen, like talking to each other about different recipes, different techniques and things like that.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I found that the social aspect of it makes me really enjoy cooking.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I love doing it pretty much every day.
2
SPEAKER_03
You made a point there, you said that you have some wine.
2
SPEAKER_03
If you come to my house in Nashville, Tennessee, you have a lot of wine during that dinner.
2
SPEAKER_03
I couldn t agree with you more.
2
SPEAKER_03
I think one of my biggest goals within my career as a writer and as a cook is to invite more people, even though you might not physically be in my home, to have a seat at my family table.
2
SPEAKER_03
And here at our family table, cooking and sitting around and dining with others provides us a chance to interact, to learn, to share, and to really live life.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I can tell you guys, I ve had some of my most joyous moments sitting at my kitchen table here at home.
2
SPEAKER_03
It s moments where we share people falling in love, people telling us about new life that they re bringing in the world.
2
SPEAKER_03
And at the same time, I probably had some of the most difficult moments where I ve seen friends that are going through some really tough troubles in their marriage or their relationships, going through divorces, dealing with the death of a loved one.
2
SPEAKER_03
And really, it s the food, which is the commonality that kind of brings everyone together.
2
SPEAKER_03
So I couldn t agree with you more.
2
SPEAKER_03
I think that cooking
2
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If we re looking at how do we improve our lives, how do we become better men, I believe that cooking offers you a chance to become more hospitable, which I think is one of the South s greatest attributes.
2
SPEAKER_03
And one of the things that my mama always taught me is she taught me how to charm and cook.
2
SPEAKER_03
So that goes pretty well along with your podcast today.
2
SPEAKER_03
But it offers a chance to be to be more generous.
2
SPEAKER_02
I couldn t agree more.
2
SPEAKER_02
And having a dinner party and you cook the food and people just like having a great time having some drinks.
2
SPEAKER_02
It is one of the like the single most satisfaction inducing activities I think anybody can do.
2
SPEAKER_03
One of the things that I think is always funny is also about the romance department.
2
SPEAKER_03
In addition to enhancing your personal relationships and your friendship and your community, to me, my first book was called Have Her Ever for Dinner.
2
SPEAKER_03
It wasn t so much about teaching guys how to get laid.
2
SPEAKER_03
Obviously, if that happens and you meet me, you owe me a beer.
2
SPEAKER_03
More importantly, it was teaching guys that cooking should be a skill that
2
SPEAKER_03
If you re going to have somebody over, maybe not the first date, because that could be pretty creepy, inviting a girl to your house for a home cooked meal, depending on how that transpires.
2
SPEAKER_03
But that being said, I think it s a skill set that you should have.
2
SPEAKER_03
And Jordan, I m not going to pick on you, man, but if you cooked a blue apron meal to perfection, I think that s fantastic.
2
SPEAKER_03
You re still winning like ultimate brownie points.
2
SPEAKER_03
But for me, like when I met my wife, that was like probably third date.
2
SPEAKER_03
I invited her over, made a very simple meal, and it was just kind of that little expression that was like, hey, I m going to take a little bit of time to go out and source ingredients to prepare something and enjoy it for you.
2
SPEAKER_03
And it came off so much better than say, I m going to buy a bottle of wine and call the local Italian place and get some lasagna and a salad.
2
SPEAKER_03
Just putting forth that effort is something that we can do on a daily basis to help foster relationships.
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SPEAKER_03
and romance.
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SPEAKER_00
salad around in a bowl and be like, what do you think?
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SPEAKER_01
Been there, done that.
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SPEAKER_01
Seriously, the fact that you bring that up, I ve never told this story, but a buddy of mine who is now a Navy SEAL in college on Valentine s Day, I was single at the time and no joke, he invited me over, I cooked a full meal for his girlfriend and like jumped out of a two-story window when she came 10 minutes early and he pulled the whole thing off and he still, even though he s defending our country, he still owes me a few favors.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, right.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re like, I got a sprain.
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SPEAKER_00
I got an ankle that s never going to be quite the same because of that meal.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, absolutely.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s funny.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
I like the idea of, of having this be a skill in your back pocket.
3
SPEAKER_00
Cause I feel like any skill that you build helps you trust yourself and create a little bit more confidence.
3
SPEAKER_00
And this is one where it s, it s hard to get hurt.
3
SPEAKER_00
You might burn yourself or slice a finger here and there, but you re not going to,
3
SPEAKER_00
jump out of the airplane, literally, and then, you know, never, and that s the end.
3
SPEAKER_00
This isn t like, you don t have to buy a gun and get good with it.
3
SPEAKER_00
You don t have to, there s a lot of things you can do that build skill sets where you can trust yourself and feel competent that are more expensive than cooking or more dangerous, and so this seems like a pretty safe place to start, and it s something that you ll actually use all the time, unlike your, you know, black belt in jujitsu or whatever.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s creepy that you said that whole thing about like crashing an airplane.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m taking my pilot s exam tomorrow, so hopefully that s not a bad omen for that.
3
SPEAKER_01
That being said, I think you hit on a really good point.
3
SPEAKER_01
If you re going to go out and cook, I think where most people get burned, you mentioned
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, well, literally, you cut your hands, you get cut every everywhere in between.
3
SPEAKER_01
Hopefully not on national television.
3
SPEAKER_01
All this happened a time or two.
3
SPEAKER_01
You mentioned earlier that cooking is a time suck, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
And that s what prevents a lot of people from getting into it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I also find that when I talk to everyday guys that may not cook a whole lot, you know, they ve been at one point encouraged to go out and cook a meal.
3
SPEAKER_01
and let s go with the lasagna mentality, and let s say that they get it from the Ed Hardy chef, Guy Fieri.
3
SPEAKER_01
If you go out and look at his recipe, you re gonna find 25 different ingredients, probably 10 of which are very hard to source, and by the time you buy all those ingredients, you spend $120, because it s the ultimate lasagna, and if you cook it and it works or it doesn t work, by the time you spend the time, energy, and ingredients, you re like, you know what, man?
3
SPEAKER_01
I should have just gotten it as takeout and I would have enjoyed this process.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I think a lot of folks get burned early on or it doesn t turn out how they want it to turn out.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I will say this, cooking is something that is a bit of a learning curve.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, it s something that if you follow a recipe to a T, hopefully it s going to transpire.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s why we test all of our recipes when we write books.
3
SPEAKER_01
But at the same time, it is something that you re going to learn
3
SPEAKER_01
over time and it s something you can take pride in.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I think that s like a great quality when I was writing this new book, Southern Gentleman s Kitchen.
3
SPEAKER_01
One of the qualities I defined as a southern gentleman is having intellectual curiosity.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s always trying to find something that you have like an insatiable thirst for knowledge.
3
SPEAKER_01
You re trying to find the next thing.
3
SPEAKER_01
What is something else that can further me in my career, within my personal relationships, within my romantic relationships and everything else?
3
SPEAKER_01
And to me, cooking
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, for me, I m digging into like Asian cuisine.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s never really been something that s been a forte of mine.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I m burning dishes.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m messing ingredients up.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m combining the wrong things.
3
SPEAKER_01
But over time, I will slowly gain an aptitude.
3
SPEAKER_01
And there s a lot of enjoyment for me through that learning curve.
3
SPEAKER_01
So I agree with you 100% that it s not something you re going to perfect on the first day.
3
SPEAKER_01
But if you have a little bit of patience, it is something that will really reward you for the rest of your life.
3
SPEAKER_00
So if we re going to start cooking, and I mean maybe the royal we or just we as a group, if we re going to get started cooking, where do we begin with it?
3
SPEAKER_01
That s great.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think you have to have a trusted source of recipes.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m not trying to give a plug here, but for me, the mentality of KISS, Keep It Simple, Stupid, is so, so important when you re getting into the kitchen.
3
SPEAKER_01
I would rather you focus on turning a few quality ingredients into a great meal
3
SPEAKER_01
rather than trying to make a whole lot of ingredients make a great meal.
3
SPEAKER_01
So one of my first things that I really love to start out with is teaching guys how to actually properly scramble eggs.
3
SPEAKER_01
Do you guys scramble eggs?
3
SPEAKER_01
No.
3
SPEAKER_02
Surprise.
3
SPEAKER_02
Absolutely.
3
SPEAKER_01
Absolutely.
3
SPEAKER_01
All right.
3
SPEAKER_01
Walk me through your process.
3
SPEAKER_02
I put them in a bowl.
3
SPEAKER_02
I put some salt and pepper in them and I scramble them.
3
SPEAKER_02
with a whisk and I put them in the pan.
3
SPEAKER_02
Actually, I found chopsticks work best.
3
SPEAKER_01
Chopsticks, all right, that s interesting.
3
SPEAKER_01
So on a weekday over high heat, that s a fantastic, you re gonna do like a really hot and fast scrambled egg.
3
SPEAKER_01
When you have a Saturday morning to actually spend a little bit of time, my recommendation is literally four ingredients, eggs, salt, pepper, and a knob of butter, and I want you to cook it over low heat.
3
SPEAKER_01
And when I say that, it can be in a nonstick pan or anything like that, but I want you to keep it constantly moving over basically the lowest heat that you can.
3
SPEAKER_01
And if there s some chefs out there like cooking a risotto to a certain extent, you basically just want to create a soft scrambled egg.
3
SPEAKER_01
And the first time you ever have that, it s going to change your whole life when it comes to what a scrambled egg should taste like.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s not going to be this like dense piece of matter that s like
3
SPEAKER_01
Overcooked and everything else and my friends It s one of my like go-to dishes that I always impressed with them on a Sunday brunch with several Bloody Marys But it s literally just over a low flame a knob of butter Scramble a couple of eggs together like you said with your whisk or your chopsticks if you want to get fancy Salt and pepper and cook it until they just come together and if you want to finish it off and not think about being healthy Just give it a splash of heavy cream in there.
3
SPEAKER_00
You got it It sounds pretty delicious
3
SPEAKER_01
All right, so I got a little bit of a challenge.
3
SPEAKER_01
Actually, it s twofold.
3
SPEAKER_01
But for those that really don t want to actually turn on the stove, but want to create this whole social experiment that we talked about earlier of having your friends over a good glass of wine and enjoying the camaraderie that happens around a table where you ve prepared some sort of a meal, you can actually prepare a great meal without ever actually starting the microwave or the stove or anything else.
3
SPEAKER_01
And that is through, like,
3
SPEAKER_01
a fantastic charcuterie or cheese or fruit plate.
3
SPEAKER_01
Go to your local butcher or your local store.
3
SPEAKER_01
It doesn t have to be a Whole Foods or anything fancy, but you can go in and choose a couple different slices or cuts of what I consider cured meats, like a soppressata or a capicola or a salami.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I usually favor about, I don t know, two-tenths of a pound per person per cut that you re using, and then balance it out with some cheeses as well, like a nice brie, a pungent blue cheese, a really well-aged cheddar, and just arrange that on a board with some grapes or anything else, and pour heavy pours of wine, which I always encourage in my kitchen.
3
SPEAKER_01
But you ll find that you re basically just arranging a meal, you re not so much cooking one.
3
SPEAKER_01
But allow that to kind of be your introduction to maybe inviting people into your own home.
3
SPEAKER_01
Everything s going to taste fantastic because you haven t maybe had the opportunity to cook it.
3
SPEAKER_01
But you ll you ll kind of start to notice that with not a whole lot of work, you ve fostered an atmosphere and an environment where people come into your home and hopefully have those conversations and create those moments.
3
SPEAKER_01
And that might be your introduction to hopefully take it to the next level to actually start cooking and preparing a full meal.
3
SPEAKER_02
Great, so is there anything else you wanna leave us with?
3
SPEAKER_01
I m gonna leave you, I know we said no Rachael Ray, but I m gonna leave you with the perfect sauce.
3
SPEAKER_01
Let s do it.
3
SPEAKER_01
All right, so we talk nowadays about health and gluten-free and all these different things, dairy-free and everything else, but for me, the perfect combination allows you to accomplish several different things.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s basically making a vinaigrette, which is a dressing for a salad, which is a one-part acidity
3
SPEAKER_01
to three parts oil.
3
SPEAKER_01
And hopefully you guys can maybe link this out on the site after the podcast today.
3
SPEAKER_01
But this is something that I do all the time if I m grilling steak, if I m doing like chicken or pork, maybe like a hearty cut of fish, like a shark or a halibut.
3
SPEAKER_01
even for the vegetarians, like a portobello mushroom, one part extra virgin olive oil to a third of a part red wine vinegar, and then you season it up with salt and pepper, some fresh minced garlic, and then any fresh herbs you have lying around.
3
SPEAKER_01
You could do about a cup of parsley, a
3
SPEAKER_01
a quarter cup of basil, some thyme, oregano, anything along those lines will turn out a fantastic kind of dressing for grilled proteins, a dressing for a salad, a dressing for vegetables.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s kind of the end-all, be-all that really sets anything that you ve done over the top.
3
SPEAKER_00
Thank you very, very much.
3
SPEAKER_00
We re going to link to your book, of course, in the show notes, and maybe put your Facebook and Twitter up there so people can bug you about how to cook eggs.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, I hope that you re going to make eggs tomorrow morning.
3
SPEAKER_00
We ll see.
3
SPEAKER_00
We ll see.
3
SPEAKER_00
Probably not.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t eat breakfast.
3
SPEAKER_00
But thanks so much, man.
3
SPEAKER_01
You should start eating breakfast.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s the key to a healthy lifestyle.
3
SPEAKER_00
You know, so many people say differently, though.
4
SPEAKER_02
There s like don t eat breakfast, then there s only eat breakfast, and there s don t eat lunch.
4
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_01
It s hard to say.
4
SPEAKER_01
I think we need to look back to what like our great-grandparents did, you know, and maybe focus on the simplicity.
4
SPEAKER_01
They all died young of heart problems.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m not sure about that.
4
SPEAKER_01
All right.
4
SPEAKER_02
And they had different ingredients going back to your earlier comment They had stuff that wasn t you know it was farm-raised because they didn t have like mechanical eggs Yeah, I joke around all the time about like cooking off the off the land and all that stuff That s what we ve always done in the South man.
4
SPEAKER_01
We ve never known any difference so my grandmother lived to 101 So I m hopefully betting on that longevity on my side there you go man.
4
SPEAKER_01
Thanks so much.
4
SPEAKER_01
I appreciate it guys.
4
SPEAKER_01
Take care Matt
4
SPEAKER_02
show feedback and guest suggestions.
4
SPEAKER_02
The show s a fanarchy, it s run by you.
4
SPEAKER_02
We rely on you to help keep our finger on the pulse.
4
SPEAKER_02
So if you know someone who s a good fit for the show, let us know.
4
SPEAKER_02
Guests at theartofcharm.com.
4
SPEAKER_02
And if you enjoyed this one, don t forget to thank Matt on Twitter.
4
SPEAKER_02
We ll have that linked in the show notes as well as his book and other resources mentioned here.
4
SPEAKER_02
You can also tap the album art in most mobile podcast players to see the show notes right on your phone.
4
SPEAKER_02
I also post a lot on Twitter, stuff that never makes it to the show.
4
SPEAKER_02
I m at theartofcharm on Twitter.
4
SPEAKER_02
Bootcamp live program details also at theartofcharm.com.
4
SPEAKER_02
Remember, we re sold out in advance, so get in touch, get deets, plan ahead.
4
SPEAKER_02
Remember to subscribe on iTunes and write us a nice review.
4
SPEAKER_02
We ll love you forever, and it helps us stand out from the other shows and help people get the credible advice they need, especially, in this case, with respect to cooking somehow.
4
SPEAKER_02
Special thanks to the Jasons for their help in production of the Art of Charm podcast.
4
SPEAKER_02
tell your friends, because the greatest compliment you can give us is a referral to someone else, either in person or shared on the web.
4
SPEAKER_02
Now have a great week, and leave everything and everyone better than you found them.
4
SPEAKER_00
Thanks for listening to The Art of Charm.
4
SPEAKER_00
Get more confidence, relationship skills, life hacks, and everything for the extraordinary man at theartofcharmpodcast.com.