0
SPEAKER_09
Get emotional with me, Radhi Devlukia, in my new podcast, A Really Good Cry.
0
SPEAKER_09
We re going to be talking with some of my best friends.
0
SPEAKER_09
I didn t know we were going to go there on this.
0
SPEAKER_09
People that I admire.
0
SPEAKER_09
When we say listen to your body, really tune in to what s going on.
0
SPEAKER_09
Authors of books that have changed my life.
0
SPEAKER_09
Now you re talking about sympathy, which is different than empathy.
0
SPEAKER_09
Never forget, it s OK to cry as long as you make it a really good one.
0
SPEAKER_09
Listen to A Really Good Cry with Radhi Devlukia on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
0
SPEAKER_03
Hi, this is Kurt Woodsmith.
0
SPEAKER_03
You remember me from such TV comedies as That 70s Show and That 90s Show on Netflix.
0
SPEAKER_03
I ll never forget the words that my grandfather said just before he kicked the bucket.
0
SPEAKER_03
He said, watch how far I can kick this bucket.
0
SPEAKER_03
People ask me where I get my dad jokes from.
0
SPEAKER_03
I tell them to listen to the Daily Dad Jokes podcast.
0
SPEAKER_03
Listen to Daily Dad Jokes every day on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
0
SPEAKER_10
Every family has an origin story, one passed down through the generations.
0
SPEAKER_10
Mine happens to be a mystery involving my great-great-grandmother left behind in Sicily.
0
SPEAKER_10
I m Jo Piazza, and my new podcast will transport you to the gorgeous island of Sicily as I trace my roots back through a whodunit for the ages.
0
SPEAKER_10
Listen to The Sicilian Inheritance on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
0
SPEAKER_07
Can I ask you a question?
0
SPEAKER_07
Yes.
0
SPEAKER_07
Out of the contestants, who were you the biggest fan of before hosting this?
0
SPEAKER_07
Tayshia.
0
SPEAKER_07
And now after?
0
SPEAKER_07
Tayshia.
0
SPEAKER_08
Ooh, Kendrick, come with that smoke, huh?
0
SPEAKER_08
So good.
0
SPEAKER_08
Tosh show, Team Kendrick.
0
SPEAKER_08
I m what the coach is feeling.
0
SPEAKER_08
I just like it when he says that.
0
SPEAKER_08
Yep.
0
SPEAKER_08
You know, we all are descendants from a single tribe in Africa, so don t even say that I m not black enough.
0
SPEAKER_08
You know, and then Kendrick, he s accusing Drake of pedophilia.
0
SPEAKER_08
Right.
0
SPEAKER_08
I mean, I don t know what s going on.
0
SPEAKER_08
Everybody is being accused of being a pedophile lately.
0
SPEAKER_08
Jimmy Kimmel got it.
0
SPEAKER_08
All Democrats.
0
SPEAKER_08
It s one of those things where it s like, is this always been the way it has been?
0
SPEAKER_08
But like now I have children, so I m just hyper aware that there s just pedophiles everywhere.
0
SPEAKER_08
Or is it like when you break up with a girl and you think every song is just, you know, it s just cutting a little different.
0
SPEAKER_08
I don t know, but apparently I m just surrounded by pedophiles.
0
SPEAKER_08
Here s the thing.
0
SPEAKER_08
People always say, you know, like, oh, you should be a part of the roast when they do roasts.
0
SPEAKER_08
I d much rather watch a rap battle because rap battles, there s consequences.
0
SPEAKER_08
You know, it s like, oh yeah, I m going to take a shot.
0
SPEAKER_08
Literally.
0
SPEAKER_08
Did you watch the roast, Eddie?
0
SPEAKER_04
I did.
0
SPEAKER_04
I watched it.
0
SPEAKER_04
The whole thing?
0
SPEAKER_04
Watched, uh, I think I might ve missed the very beginning.
0
SPEAKER_04
Haven t gone back to check it out.
0
SPEAKER_08
I heard it s long.
0
SPEAKER_04
It is long.
0
SPEAKER_08
Did they do any jokes about Kevin Hart s height?
0
SPEAKER_08
Yes.
0
SPEAKER_08
That s the problem.
0
SPEAKER_08
The roasts are just mean.
0
SPEAKER_08
People s feelings get hurt.
0
SPEAKER_08
If I was up there, I would try as hard as I could to cry.
0
SPEAKER_04
That d be great.
0
SPEAKER_08
Just see if maybe they d stop.
0
SPEAKER_08
People have always asked if I will be on The Roast and I ve, to be honest, I saw Jeff Ross the week before The Roast and he encouraged me.
0
SPEAKER_08
He said I should do one.
0
SPEAKER_08
He looks like he was in that Dune sequel.
0
SPEAKER_04
He does.
0
SPEAKER_08
You know who I m talking about?
0
SPEAKER_08
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_08
Maybe I ll hold out.
0
SPEAKER_08
You know who I want to roast?
0
SPEAKER_08
Seinfeld.
0
SPEAKER_08
Oh, man.
0
SPEAKER_08
Oh, man.
0
SPEAKER_08
Wouldn t that be a fun roast?
0
SPEAKER_08
Seinfeld.
0
SPEAKER_08
Here s how I would want this to go.
0
SPEAKER_08
I would want to be the host of this.
0
SPEAKER_08
I d want to be the host of the Jerry Seinfeld roast, and then I d want no comics to show up, and I d want no audience to show up.
0
SPEAKER_08
And it s just two hours of me looking at Jerry going, eh, this speaks volumes, doesn t it?
0
SPEAKER_08
Turns out you re not as loved by your peers as you once thought.
0
SPEAKER_08
Just so much lately with him just being up in arms about everything.
0
SPEAKER_08
You can t do this anymore.
0
SPEAKER_08
What are you talking?
0
SPEAKER_08
It s like me complaining.
0
SPEAKER_08
Oh yeah, the kids today, then they re viral videos.
0
SPEAKER_08
They re just not as good as when I used to.
0
SPEAKER_08
make jokes about viral videos.
0
SPEAKER_08
In my heyday, a viral video, you know, you d have somebody, a disabled person, fall down a flight of stairs and we d just have a good laugh.
0
SPEAKER_08
You see how dumb that sounds?
0
SPEAKER_08
For a guy that s made his living at observations, fuck.
0
SPEAKER_08
Just look in the mirror for a second and go, oh, I don t wanna become this person.
0
SPEAKER_08
He s been going after everyone.
0
SPEAKER_08
He s been going after comedians with podcasts.
0
SPEAKER_08
You re not that interesting.
0
SPEAKER_08
Again, I couldn t agree with you more, Grandpa.
0
SPEAKER_08
I don t think I m interesting.
0
SPEAKER_08
This isn t what I wanted to do with my life.
0
SPEAKER_08
What I wanted to do was get on a reality show.
0
SPEAKER_08
That was my goal.
0
SPEAKER_08
That s why I got into show business.
0
SPEAKER_08
to someday get on a reality show.
0
SPEAKER_08
And last year, when Amazon came calling and offered me a chance to live out my dream, I jumped at it.
0
SPEAKER_08
Then I found out that they didn t want me on the show, they wanted me to host it.
0
SPEAKER_08
I was a little let down, but at least I was given an opportunity to meet my TV idols.
0
SPEAKER_08
Enjoy.
0
SPEAKER_06
Hi there, I m Bob Pittman, Chairman and CEO of iHeartMedia.
0
SPEAKER_06
Welcome to Math & Magic, stories from the frontiers of marketing.
0
SPEAKER_06
This week I m talking to the one and only Ryan Seacrest.
0
SPEAKER_05
I love the connection to people.
0
SPEAKER_05
I think at the core, what I get excited about, what gets me up in the morning is connecting with people in an unscripted, unvarnished way.
0
SPEAKER_05
It s getting to say something to them, hear back from them, know that I m part of the routine, and I look forward to getting on the air.
0
SPEAKER_05
I look forward to it.
0
SPEAKER_06
In these exciting times, we re looking to the math, the strategy and analytics, and the magic, the creative spark, more than ever.
0
SPEAKER_06
Listen to Math & Magic on our very own iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.
0
SPEAKER_02
Hey fam, I m Simone Boyce.
0
SPEAKER_02
I m Danielle Robay.
0
SPEAKER_02
And we re the hosts of The Bright Side, a daily podcast from Hello Sunshine that s guaranteed to light up your day.
0
SPEAKER_02
Every weekday, we bring you conversations with the culture makers who inspire us.
0
SPEAKER_02
Like our recent episode with Hollywood royalty Regina and Raina King, we talked about the creative power of women s relationships.
0
SPEAKER_11
I feel like, thank God for women.
0
SPEAKER_11
Like, especially when it comes to Black women, the way we lean on our mothers, our grandmothers, our sisters, our friends, we re just each other s pulse.
0
SPEAKER_11
I mean, it s molecular, you know?
0
SPEAKER_02
Listen to The Bright Side from Hello Sunshine on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
0
SPEAKER_01
Hey, I m Jay Shetty, and I m the host of On Purpose.
0
SPEAKER_01
On Purpose s mission is to create impactful conversations to help you become happier, healthier, and more healed.
0
SPEAKER_01
This week, I talked to Tiffany Haddish in a hilarious, deep, thoughtful interview where we dive into family trauma, grief, sobriety, love, and dating.
0
SPEAKER_01
You ll be laughing, crying, and have so many impactful takeaways after this interview.
0
SPEAKER_00
I had this like, you know, homie lover friend for a long time.
0
SPEAKER_00
He s very disrespectful to me, very kind of messed up to me.
0
SPEAKER_00
But in my mind, we could get married.
0
SPEAKER_00
We have the most beautiful babies.
0
SPEAKER_00
He handsome, I m pretty.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like, it would be so cool.
0
SPEAKER_00
He s smart and intellectual.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m kind of smart, I think.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like, it would be fun.
0
SPEAKER_00
We have the best conversations.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like, we have fun.
0
SPEAKER_00
But then he would treat me like crap.
0
SPEAKER_01
Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
0
SPEAKER_01
Trust me, you won t want to miss this one.
0
you
0
SPEAKER_08
My guest today has appeared very briefly on The Bachelor, Dancing with the Stars, and Love on the Spectrum.
0
SPEAKER_08
You can see him now on The Goat on Prime, hosted by little old me.
0
SPEAKER_08
Please welcome Grocery Store Joe.
0
SPEAKER_08
Love on the Spectrum s a great show.
0
SPEAKER_08
I just started watching it.
0
SPEAKER_08
Okay, so you weren t on that show.
0
SPEAKER_07
No.
0
SPEAKER_07
Okay, our research is garbage.
0
SPEAKER_07
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_08
That s my fault.
0
SPEAKER_08
All right, do you believe in ghosts?
0
SPEAKER_07
No.
0
SPEAKER_07
Okay, no.
1
SPEAKER_00
Ever thought about changing your name to Instacart Joe?
1
SPEAKER_00
I honestly think I would have got more Instagram followers if my name would have been Grocery Store Joe.
1
SPEAKER_00
But my last name s hard to spell and pronounce.
1
SPEAKER_00
You probably can t even do it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Uh-uh.
1
SPEAKER_01
But did you think I always said Instagram versus Instacart?
1
SPEAKER_01
That s where my mind went, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
That is where my mind went.
1
SPEAKER_01
I was just like, because Instacart s just a little more updated.
1
SPEAKER_00
Is Instacart still around?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
You go to the grocery store?
1
SPEAKER_00
Serena orders off of Amazon.
1
SPEAKER_00
Right.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I m plugged in.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, look at you.
1
SPEAKER_00
I just plugged the show.
1
SPEAKER_00
Team.
1
SPEAKER_00
Team Prime.
1
SPEAKER_00
Where d you grow up?
1
SPEAKER_00
I grew up in a town called Melrose Park in Chicago.
1
SPEAKER_01
You like Chicago?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I like it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Where dummies put pickles on hot dogs and call lasagna pizza.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t like deep dish pizza.
1
SPEAKER_01
No one does.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I take the pickle off my hot dog.
1
SPEAKER_01
What do you do with the pickle?
1
SPEAKER_01
I take a bite of it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Did you major in groceries at college?
1
SPEAKER_01
I actually didn t go to college.
1
SPEAKER_01
You didn t go to college?
1
SPEAKER_00
No.
1
SPEAKER_01
Not a day?
1
SPEAKER_00
No, I barely graduated high school.
1
SPEAKER_00
High school, huh?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I got through it.
1
SPEAKER_00
I got through it.
1
SPEAKER_00
You found high school tricky?
1
SPEAKER_00
I had the option not to go to college after.
1
SPEAKER_00
We all have the option.
1
SPEAKER_00
I took that option.
1
SPEAKER_00
I loved it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, we re in trouble of the country.
1
SPEAKER_01
In your opinion, what is the best grocery store?
1
SPEAKER_01
And don t just say Whole Foods because Amazon owns them and they re the ones that made the goat.
1
SPEAKER_01
Available on Prime.
1
SPEAKER_01
I shop at Whole Foods, so.
1
SPEAKER_01
Nice.
1
SPEAKER_01
Whole Foods is not my favorite.
1
SPEAKER_00
Air One.
1
SPEAKER_00
I bought a $30 bottle of water there, because I couldn t believe it was $30.
1
SPEAKER_00
Good for you.
1
SPEAKER_00
It tasted the same, but it was out of a well in, like, Washington.
1
SPEAKER_01
I respect that you saw that it was $30 and said, I have to own this water.
1
SPEAKER_01
Erewhon s great.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s expensive, but it s— Who cares?
1
SPEAKER_01
It s just the girls that are in that store.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s just ridiculous.
1
SPEAKER_01
Every time I walk in there, I m like, oh, holy cow.
1
SPEAKER_01
Erewhon is— And then I, like, look down.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m like, oh, there s my little wife.
1
SPEAKER_01
Come on, honey.
1
SPEAKER_00
How small is your wife?
1
SPEAKER_00
She s tiny.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, really?
1
SPEAKER_01
When did you start selling marinara sauce?
1
SPEAKER_00
2020, because it was during COVID.
1
SPEAKER_01
What s it called?
1
SPEAKER_01
What s it called?
1
SPEAKER_00
Sundays with Joe.
1
SPEAKER_01
Sundays with Joe.
1
SPEAKER_01
All right, pop quiz, hot shot.
1
SPEAKER_01
How much sodium is in one serving of your sweet marinara sauce?
1
SPEAKER_01
What is it measured in?
1
SPEAKER_01
All right, let s just go percentage of daily nutritional value.
1
30.
1
SPEAKER_01
Ah, 27%.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
All right.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
All right.
1
SPEAKER_01
People may not know your story.
1
SPEAKER_01
You were on The Bachelor.
1
SPEAKER_01
You were a night one loser.
1
SPEAKER_01
Were you upset with yourself?
1
SPEAKER_01
You re like, oh fuck, I made myself look stupid or no?
1
SPEAKER_01
What was The Bachelor at?
1
SPEAKER_01
Whatever.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay, cool.
1
SPEAKER_01
You re the bachelorette you re on there night one and she kicks you out.
1
SPEAKER_01
Who was the girl Becca?
1
SPEAKER_01
It was upsetting.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was upsetting I felt embarrassed to go on in the first place just cuz I thought I was like too cool Uh-huh, and then to be one of the guys that didn t receive a rose felt pretty pathetic.
1
SPEAKER_00
Did you talk to her that night?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, but I could really form a sentence cuz I was really nervous like you seem you ve seen me really great on camera like I m funny and I m charismatic but that didn t really come across
1
SPEAKER_00
That didn t come across night one.
1
SPEAKER_01
People always complain, oh I didn t get any time.
1
SPEAKER_01
Why wouldn t you just force yourself, you re on this show, like I m going to go right now and talk to this person.
1
SPEAKER_01
How do they keep some people from actually talking to them?
1
SPEAKER_01
They just say it s not your turn.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then most people listen.
1
SPEAKER_00
But I had the first conversation.
1
SPEAKER_00
Did you kiss?
1
SPEAKER_00
No.
1
SPEAKER_01
And then how long from when that night happened to when the episode aired?
1
SPEAKER_01
How long of a gap is that?
1
SPEAKER_00
That was like a, I want to say two months.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then the show aired and I thought I was going to look terrible.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I, I looked incredible.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then I trended on Twitter.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was a, it was all basically national news.
1
SPEAKER_01
See, now I have a rule that I don t have celebrities on my show.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s why I m shocked I m here.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t consider you a celebrity.
1
SPEAKER_01
You get famous for two minutes of airtime and you have this normal life, but now you don t have the finances to, like, shelter yourself from all the nonsense that s about to come your way.
1
SPEAKER_01
How is that?
1
SPEAKER_01
That s why I went on the go, and that s why I own Bitcoin.
1
SPEAKER_01
YouTube.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, let s talk about though.
1
SPEAKER_01
Isn t it weird?
1
SPEAKER_01
I mean, cause it s weird to be like all of a sudden now you re famous, but it s like, if I m famous, I get to go to my house in a neighborhood that nobody lives in.
1
SPEAKER_01
I close the wall to the gate.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, something that I learned is attention s better than money.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you re wrong.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s the opposite.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
The money is great.
1
SPEAKER_00
You don t want any attention.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then, you know, you don t make any money and then you, then they ask you to do other reality shows.
1
SPEAKER_01
How much money did you make
1
SPEAKER_01
on your actual appearance of The Bachelorette, that one single episode.
1
SPEAKER_01
Nothing, you don t get paid.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, you do.
1
SPEAKER_00
No, you don t.
1
SPEAKER_01
There s unions, you have to get some money.
1
SPEAKER_00
You don t get paid.
1
SPEAKER_00
Bullshit.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m not lying.
1
SPEAKER_00
You got zero dollars.
1
SPEAKER_00
Zero.
1
SPEAKER_00
You get paid to do Bachelor in Paradise, which was another show I was on.
1
SPEAKER_01
But you get paid to be The Bachelorette or The Bachelor.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_00
You get paid.
1
SPEAKER_00
But you don t get paid to be a contestant.
1
SPEAKER_00
The contestants don t get paid for being on a show.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I m such a fucking idiot, I went to Gucci and bought a suit
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay, and then the suit the suit did it fit me, right?
1
SPEAKER_00
No, and I freaked out the day before so then I went to Tom Ford and bought a suit and I basically spent like $9,000 in suits.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s too much.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay, so you did that then a year later you did the Bachelor in Paradise Only you were into that that what s-her-name and that didn t work out with you But you dated her for a bit or you do you guys get engaged?
1
SPEAKER_01
Who are we?
1
SPEAKER_00
The first season?
1
SPEAKER_00
I ve been on plenty of seasons.
1
SPEAKER_01
Did you get engaged?
1
SPEAKER_01
No, we just, we dated.
1
SPEAKER_01
But she was a twin and she was into fucking dead animals.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, taxidermy.
1
SPEAKER_01
There s a few red flags.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s all I m saying.
1
SPEAKER_01
When you watch those shows, because your body s not great.
1
SPEAKER_01
What do you mean?
1
SPEAKER_01
Like, you re like a normal dude, but all those guys, were you intimidated?
1
SPEAKER_01
They re all so jacked.
1
SPEAKER_01
I feel like I actually have a nice body.
1
SPEAKER_00
Your body s gotten better.
1
SPEAKER_00
You don t think it doesn t look good on the goat?
1
SPEAKER_01
No, no, no.
1
SPEAKER_01
Now, that s what I m saying.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m saying probably from the first time you were on reality television until now, your body s probably gotten better.
1
SPEAKER_00
I enjoy food, so I don t, like, I like to eat a cheeseburger and I like pizza.
1
SPEAKER_00
Sure.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m just don t, I m not, you don t be self-conscious.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like you re talking to somebody that s got an awful body, but those guys are all so jacked.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
They care.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
They really care.
1
SPEAKER_00
Like when we were, when you re in paradise, a lot of guys don t even drink beer because it s got carbs.
1
SPEAKER_00
Not me though.
1
SPEAKER_01
Really?
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
What a waste of a trip.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Why does everybody clamor for a date card?
1
SPEAKER_01
I would just be like, if I m interested in a girl that s there, I just fucking want to hang out on the beach all day and try to make out.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s what I did.
1
SPEAKER_01
Right.
1
SPEAKER_01
Why do people care so much about going on a fucking date?
1
SPEAKER_01
Because they want air time.
1
SPEAKER_01
Right.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s all it is.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
I get it.
1
SPEAKER_01
And people are always like, oh, how, I ve made this joke before where people get like, how could you actually find somebody that you really love?
1
SPEAKER_01
And that to me is absurd because put me in any room.
1
SPEAKER_01
You could fall off.
1
SPEAKER_01
Eventually I m going to fall in love with somebody in that room.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I agree.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s just how it works.
1
SPEAKER_01
So then you do the show again, and you fall in love a second time with the girl, and now you re happily married.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_01
The end.
1
SPEAKER_01
And she s, what is she, 22 years younger than you?
1
SPEAKER_01
She is.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s a 10, 11 year difference.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, my wife s younger than that gap.
1
SPEAKER_01
At times, it s 10 years, and at other times, it s 11 years different.
1
SPEAKER_01
Mine s 12, and some of it s 13, I think.
1
SPEAKER_01
Let me tell you, this always bothers me.
1
SPEAKER_01
Do people give you any grief for marrying somebody so young?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yes, sometimes.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I disagree with that.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think we re...
1
SPEAKER_00
Emotionally and you know, we re on the same level.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, I always think it s funny when people say like if a guy It s usually a guy dating a younger girl and they re like, oh my what do you have in common?
1
SPEAKER_01
What can you talk to a 22 year old about?
1
SPEAKER_01
I m like, what kind of conversations are you having because I can fucking have the same conversation with a 22 year old that I can my father like I Agree a hundred percent
1
SPEAKER_01
And then you did Dancing with the Stars too.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that was in between.
1
SPEAKER_01
Did you like that?
1
SPEAKER_01
Did you get paid a lot for that?
1
SPEAKER_01
You got paid for that, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
That was a nice paycheck.
1
SPEAKER_01
Six figures?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Mid six figures?
1
SPEAKER_01
That s $500,000.
1
SPEAKER_01
Um, no, no.
1
SPEAKER_01
And it doesn t matter how long you stay on for those shows.
1
SPEAKER_00
You get paid more.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_00
So you get an upfront and then weekly, the longer you stay, the more you make.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I made it to the semifinals.
1
SPEAKER_00
What place did you get?
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, fourth or fifth.
1
SPEAKER_01
Do you enjoy dancing?
1
SPEAKER_00
I hated it.
1
SPEAKER_01
Because I know, everything that I know about you and watching you do physical things, it s just, it s bad.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, it s not.
1
SPEAKER_01
Your balance is poor.
1
SPEAKER_01
My balance wasn t poor that day, it was my shoes.
1
SPEAKER_00
I didn t have flat shoes.
1
SPEAKER_01
Fucking everything you said, it s not true.
1
SPEAKER_01
Your shoes aren t... Some people have good balance and some people don t.
1
SPEAKER_01
I have average balance.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, you don t.
1
SPEAKER_01
You have bad balance.
1
SPEAKER_01
Would you ever do Dancing with the Stars?
1
SPEAKER_01
I ve done it.
1
SPEAKER_01
No, you haven t.
1
SPEAKER_01
Well, at home, I just dance.
1
SPEAKER_01
You just dance.
2
SPEAKER_00
Every night I dance with my wife.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m like, enjoy this, honey.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re dancing with the star.
2
SPEAKER_01
I like that.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, I would never do that show.
2
SPEAKER_00
I would never do that show ever.
2
SPEAKER_00
There s a lot of shows that I wouldn t do.
2
SPEAKER_00
What shows wouldn t you do?
2
SPEAKER_01
Probably Survivor.
2
SPEAKER_01
I don t think I would do Survivor.
2
SPEAKER_01
Even though I say I would, I don t like the idea of not being able to brush your teeth in the morning.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s your deal breaker.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s a big deal breaker.
2
SPEAKER_01
I think you re allowed to bring one item.
2
SPEAKER_01
You re a fellow degenerate.
2
SPEAKER_01
Would you consider yourself a degenerate or no?
2
SPEAKER_01
Depends on how you define degenerate.
2
SPEAKER_01
Do you love to gamble?
2
SPEAKER_01
I enjoy gambling.
2
SPEAKER_01
Do you love it so much?
2
SPEAKER_01
Does it make you so happy when you sit down?
2
SPEAKER_01
I enjoy the first day.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like the first day in Vegas is usually my favorite.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I don t gamble outside of Vegas.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m controlled.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s kind of how I am about gambling.
2
SPEAKER_00
I like
2
SPEAKER_00
that you can t do it everywhere.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I m glad that California killed sports betting, because I was like, oh, if that happens, I m going to be a mess.
2
SPEAKER_01
I have on my phone.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s out there, but I have it in notes.
2
SPEAKER_01
I put, don t sports gamble.
2
SPEAKER_01
So.
2
SPEAKER_01
What s the most you ve ever left Vegas up?
2
45.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that s a good, oh, that s a good trade.
2
SPEAKER_01
And that was my bachelor party, because I hit, I hit a slot machine.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh.
2
SPEAKER_01
Such a dumb way to win money.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s like, it s not exciting.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s my favorite way because you don t even have to think.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so we met on The Goat, which is a reality show that s out now on Prime.
2
SPEAKER_00
A month before the show began taping, I get an offer.
2
SPEAKER_00
to host this show.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t get offers a lot because I say no to everything.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I m reading this and I had just had a baby.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I told my wife, I go, what do you think of this offer to go to Atlanta?
2
SPEAKER_00
And she s like, we just have a baby.
2
SPEAKER_00
You promised me that you d like stay here, not do anything for this one.
2
SPEAKER_00
Because the last time, my first child, like I was filming the day of on Tosh.0.
2
SPEAKER_00
So anyway, I said, but listen,
2
SPEAKER_00
This could be one of these shows that works.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like it s silly.
2
SPEAKER_00
I understand it on paper.
2
SPEAKER_00
And if it is good, I m going to be mad watching this 10 years from now saying, I could have had that gig.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s only three weeks of work a year.
2
SPEAKER_00
She s like, we re not doing it.
2
SPEAKER_00
I go, okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
I go, well, what if, what if they give us a huge mansion and a private jet to get there?
2
SPEAKER_00
I just started listing anything I could think of that would make her say, all right, let s take our, at the time, four week old newborn baby across the country to do this.
2
SPEAKER_00
So then we came up with this ridiculous list and they kept asking me to do it.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, all right, well, will you do all these things?
2
SPEAKER_00
And then they started saying yes.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, oh fuck.
2
SPEAKER_00
Carly, we re gonna have to go to Atlanta.
2
SPEAKER_00
What did you make?
2
SPEAKER_00
Real money.
2
SPEAKER_00
Can I guess?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
but more.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I was like, should we do this?
2
SPEAKER_00
And then I kept saying, she was like, fine.
2
SPEAKER_00
So we, uh, we go and everybody stayed with me.
2
SPEAKER_00
I brought, I like added to my contract.
2
SPEAKER_00
I want my own, my own writers.
2
SPEAKER_00
I want my own producer.
2
SPEAKER_00
I want my own, uh, whatever.
2
SPEAKER_00
Sounds like a dream.
2
SPEAKER_00
Right.
2
SPEAKER_00
And again, they were in a position.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what they were going to do if I didn t do this.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was not first, let s be clear.
2
SPEAKER_00
They had gone through people that had gone away and they were in a situation where like... Interesting.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then they re like, hey, we got him on the hook.
2
SPEAKER_00
He might actually agree to do this.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then they had gone too far down the road.
2
SPEAKER_00
I rented a mansion, the most obnoxious thing I could find.
2
SPEAKER_00
But I rented this mansion mainly because it had a crazy driveway and the pool had a big, huge slide.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m like, oh, my son s gonna love this slide.
2
SPEAKER_00
Meanwhile, it s one of those slides before insurance companies got ahold of people and like, you can t have a slide like this because everyone got hurt that went down it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like my cousin by marriage, she broke her thumb on the slide.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was bad.
2
SPEAKER_00
The pool, the guy, when we rent this place, he goes, people usually just rent this place for like a wedding, not to actually stay in the house.
2
SPEAKER_00
Now we re staying here for a month.
2
SPEAKER_00
He s like, well, the pool, it s either the pool or the hot tub.
2
SPEAKER_00
We can only heat one temperature.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, well, we want a hundred degrees for the hot tub.
2
SPEAKER_00
He goes, okay, well, that means everything s going to be a hundred degrees.
2
SPEAKER_00
So this massive lagoon-style pool with huge waterfalls, we had it 100 degrees.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s like a hot spring.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was, but like algae was growing in it because it s not a good temperature to keep.
2
SPEAKER_00
This is just our house.
2
SPEAKER_00
This is the nonsense that s going on.
2
SPEAKER_00
Meanwhile, I ve got a baby.
2
SPEAKER_00
So every night, you know, we re shooting.
2
SPEAKER_00
They make you shoot these stupid shows in the middle of the night.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was there, I know.
2
SPEAKER_00
Right.
2
SPEAKER_00
But I m having to go back to this other mansion 30 minutes away.
2
SPEAKER_00
Gosh forbid.
2
SPEAKER_00
Right?
2
SPEAKER_00
To stay up with a four week old.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like it was just, it was just a nuts and they were, everyone was going crazy.
2
SPEAKER_00
Here s how they sold me on the show.
2
SPEAKER_00
We re not making fun of people that are doing the show.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, good, I don t want to do that show.
2
SPEAKER_00
I want to have fun.
2
SPEAKER_00
I want it to be lighthearted.
2
SPEAKER_00
I want it to be silly, but we re mocking the whole genre of living together in competitions.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, okay, that s what they sold me on.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then the show starts coming out and I m like, guys, you re taking this too seriously.
2
SPEAKER_00
Not you, the producers.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then like one time in the first event, you re like, hey guys, can we all fucking calm down?
2
SPEAKER_00
This is, this is just a silly, silly game.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Right.
2
SPEAKER_00
So then I was like, okay, Joe is one person that I got it.
2
SPEAKER_00
I understood.
2
SPEAKER_00
Right.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
It wasn t meant to be.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s why when everybody s getting upset with people, like, guys, you re looking like idiots.
2
SPEAKER_01
Just fucking calm down.
2
SPEAKER_01
Do you remember how much they were screaming that first episode?
2
SPEAKER_01
It was insane.
2
SPEAKER_01
Can I ask you a question?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
Out of the contestants, who were you the biggest fan of before hosting this?
2
SPEAKER_01
Tayshia.
2
SPEAKER_01
And now after?
2
SPEAKER_01
Tayshia.
2
SPEAKER_01
No, honestly though, for real.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, no, I was, let s be honest.
2
SPEAKER_00
Although you weren t, it wasn t supposed to be you, I thought.
2
SPEAKER_00
I thought it was supposed to, when I had seen the first list, you were supposed to be, what s his name?
2
SPEAKER_00
Who?
2
SPEAKER_00
Who was the guy that married the Canadian teacher?
2
SPEAKER_00
Nick Viall.
2
SPEAKER_00
Nick Viall.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
I think you were supposed to be Nick Viall.
2
SPEAKER_00
So me and you were replacements.
2
SPEAKER_00
Or you were supposed to be Snooki.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know for certain.
2
SPEAKER_00
How much did they tell you about the goat before you agreed to do the show?
2
SPEAKER_01
They don t tell you much.
2
SPEAKER_01
They tell you how much money?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, they tell you how much money.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I didn t know I was going on the show, probably because it was potentially Nick, until I want to say 10 days prior.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then they just really said pack colorful clothing.
2
SPEAKER_01
I made fun of your clothes a lot.
2
SPEAKER_00
I know.
2
SPEAKER_00
There was just one shirt that just, to me, it just looked, you just looked so wholesome.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was brown, had some stripes across the front.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s in the trailer, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s in the trailer.
2
SPEAKER_01
You did nail it on the hat.
2
SPEAKER_01
It looks like a third grade.
2
SPEAKER_00
There s Joe.
2
SPEAKER_00
All right, so you didn t know much about it.
2
SPEAKER_00
You knew how much you were getting paid.
2
SPEAKER_00
Now, is that the same as Dancing With Stars, where you get a lump sum plus every episode that you stay in?
2
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
So that s what that s what brings the competitive nature out.
2
SPEAKER_01
And, you know, it s like it s like playing a board game.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, once you re in it, you re in it and then you re you re you re there to compete.
2
SPEAKER_00
But you re you re competing against some people like like real housewives that that certainly didn t need the money.
2
SPEAKER_00
So that s that s a silly thing.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
That was a problem.
2
SPEAKER_01
It was because, you know, like some could say no one.
2
SPEAKER_01
We can t talk about that.
2
SPEAKER_01
You know, it s very hard to talk about a show that you can t talk about.
2
SPEAKER_00
We filmed the show in Atlanta.
2
SPEAKER_00
The producers, they re coming to me and they re like, hey, you know, we don t ever want you to mention where we are.
2
SPEAKER_00
Then the very first cut I see, the first credit that appears is a big fucking logo of a peach with Georgia written above it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I m not allowed to mention where we are?
2
SPEAKER_01
Why can t we mention Atlanta?
2
SPEAKER_00
Because you want to make it like, oh, who knows where it is?
2
SPEAKER_00
It could be anywhere.
2
SPEAKER_00
It could be anywhere.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t understand Atlanta at all.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was the fucking grossest neighborhood.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then there was just this random
2
SPEAKER_00
dirt road that went way back and this huge mansion that was built by a former Indianapolis Colts player.
2
SPEAKER_00
It had sit vacant and so we rent it to shoot this show and it s meant to be a house.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s not meant to film a show with hundreds of employees just shitting so the plumbing goes out.
2
SPEAKER_00
The plumbing went out constantly.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t know if you noticed that.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, I didn t.
2
SPEAKER_00
Your plumbing worked the whole time?
2
SPEAKER_00
We were fine, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Did you ever go into the garage?
2
SPEAKER_01
They wouldn t let me in there.
2
SPEAKER_01
I tried to walk in there twice.
2
SPEAKER_00
So the garage, and it was like a 10-car garage, is just filled with just screens of every hidden camera in the house and all the people watching you.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I found that interesting to watch how the sausage was made.
2
SPEAKER_00
The thing is, I would be sitting downstairs.
2
SPEAKER_00
When I would come to work, I would sit in the basement
3
SPEAKER_00
and I would have a TV of all the cameras, and then I would have some people tell me what I missed, who said what, and blah, blah, blah.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I could see everybody s little plans live.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like you, you always pretended to be like, oh, I m just playing the dumb guy, but I saw you do a lot of dumb shit that was not planned.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I was good at making it seem like a lot of it was planned.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so then we get cut to the show, and you and I had some banter.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was teasing you constantly.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, we had a lot of fun.
3
SPEAKER_00
Right, but they didn t put a lot of that stuff in there.
3
SPEAKER_00
How about, oh, I can t even, I probably can t even say it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Say it.
3
SPEAKER_00
When I shot the firework backwards, is that in there?
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t think so.
3
SPEAKER_00
That was funny.
3
SPEAKER_00
I asked you if I was allowed to call you.
3
SPEAKER_00
I said, I know this is a racial epithet, Goomba.
3
SPEAKER_00
I said, could you explain to me what it is?
3
SPEAKER_00
And you explained it to me.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then I said, am I allowed to call you that?
3
SPEAKER_00
And you said, yes, or something.
3
SPEAKER_00
But there was some back and forth about it.
3
SPEAKER_00
That never saw the light of day.
3
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_00
What is, what does Goomba mean?
3
SPEAKER_00
I think it s a slang for like an Italian, but it means like, yo, oh, hey, I m Italian.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, it s not in the show.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
Some of the stuff I fought for, but like, here s the thing.
3
SPEAKER_00
We shot this a year ago.
3
SPEAKER_00
I know.
3
SPEAKER_00
One year ago.
3
SPEAKER_00
You look the same though.
3
SPEAKER_00
Thanks, um, but like they re like asking me to give notes on these episodes I mean when I give notes for a show, I give them one time and then I want you to take my notes I know what s funny.
3
SPEAKER_00
What s not funny?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that s it.
3
SPEAKER_00
But these these 20 back and forth over a year you think I remember
3
SPEAKER_00
What funny thing I said when you shot fireworks into your face?
3
SPEAKER_00
I can t remember every line.
3
SPEAKER_00
Now, am I saying that this show would be a million times better if they did everything that I said?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
But they, you know, other people have jobs, I guess, and they re supposed to just, it was just weird.
3
SPEAKER_00
Am I funny?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you re funny.
3
SPEAKER_00
Am I the funniest?
3
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it depends.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m taking you out of the equation.
3
SPEAKER_00
No, no, no.
3
SPEAKER_00
I wasn t going to put you in my category.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re the funniest if, probably intentionally, and then other people, you know, they cut them to be funny.
3
SPEAKER_00
So then I m probably the most talented when it comes to being funny.
3
SPEAKER_00
Did you win the GOAT?
3
SPEAKER_00
Did I win?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
I can t disclose.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re so properly PR trained.
3
SPEAKER_00
What did the cast really think of me?
3
SPEAKER_01
I think they all liked you.
3
SPEAKER_01
I would say I liked you the most.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s why you re here.
3
SPEAKER_01
I enjoyed your presence.
3
SPEAKER_01
When you were there, it made me feel somewhat better about myself.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s nice.
3
SPEAKER_01
That was actually really nice.
3
SPEAKER_01
That was nice of you to say.
3
SPEAKER_00
Reality hosts are usually pretty dry.
3
SPEAKER_00
Did you find me funny?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I just said, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Funny how?
3
SPEAKER_00
Funny like a clown?
3
SPEAKER_00
We re doing a bit there.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I get it.
3
SPEAKER_01
In New York, there s like a real estate company that does that bit around a poker table and they have like a 12-year-old girl do it with like a family and it plays in the cabs in New York.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s so bad.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s incredibly bad.
3
SPEAKER_01
I watch and I cannot believe somebody paid to make that.
3
SPEAKER_01
But you like it?
3
SPEAKER_01
No, I actually hate it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I hate it.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I really want you to see it.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s the worst.
3
SPEAKER_00
All right.
3
SPEAKER_00
OK.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ll find it.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ll watch it.
3
SPEAKER_00
I got a gift for you.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, really?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
I love that.
3
SPEAKER_00
I always give people something that comes on my show.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s something from my house that I don t want anymore.
3
SPEAKER_00
Now, this is a two-parter.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is your wedding gift, OK?
3
SPEAKER_00
This is a knife sharpener.
3
SPEAKER_01
Come on, man.
3
SPEAKER_00
Did you hear Eddie?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Eddie s chiming in.
3
SPEAKER_00
Eddie bought me this.
3
SPEAKER_00
Eddie bought me this for Christmas a couple years ago.
3
SPEAKER_00
I ve never once used it.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s still perfectly, the cord, you can tell.
3
SPEAKER_00
Never used it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Eddie, what did you pay for this?
3
SPEAKER_00
This is a couple hundred.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is a couple hundred dollars.
3
SPEAKER_00
Never once used it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Never even thought of using it.
3
SPEAKER_00
And it s a knife sharpener.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I thought it d be funny to bring it here for Eddie s reaction.
3
SPEAKER_00
So is this mine now?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if you can fly with a knife sharp.
3
SPEAKER_00
You can fly with a knife sharp.
3
SPEAKER_00
Don t take it off your hand Okay, so that s a model 15 X B. Yeah, that s a good one.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s not the only gift That s not the only gift.
3
SPEAKER_00
I got you then because I was teasing you about Your wardrobe and I know you like to gamble I m giving you this
3
SPEAKER_00
is one of my show jackets when I m in Vegas.
3
SPEAKER_01
Zippers up there.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s from, oh, from Saks.
3
SPEAKER_00
No, it s not from Saks.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s just an old bag.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is nice.
3
SPEAKER_00
You ll like this.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, look at that.
3
SPEAKER_00
When you re in Vegas, you re going to love it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Go ahead.
3
SPEAKER_00
For me?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s a jacket.
3
SPEAKER_00
Put it on.
3
SPEAKER_00
See if it fits.
3
SPEAKER_00
All right.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is great.
3
SPEAKER_00
I wasn t expecting a jacket.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, it might not work with that jacket on.
3
SPEAKER_00
You might be broader than I thought.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
I told you, my body s not bad.
3
SPEAKER_00
I think if you didn t have a jacket or anything, it could be good.
3
SPEAKER_00
How s it look?
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, it looks good now, but it looks weird with... Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
What size are you?
3
SPEAKER_00
I m a 40.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m a 42.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_00
I usually get them tailored.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re not a 42.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, that jacket doesn t fit me anymore.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is a 38.
3
SPEAKER_00
No.
3
SPEAKER_01
Joe, what will your first illusion be?
3
SPEAKER_00
Did you hear him?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_00
All right, take that off.
3
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
You re going to love it.
3
SPEAKER_00
What have you been up to since the GOAT concluded?
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, I got married.
3
SPEAKER_00
We had our wedding.
3
SPEAKER_00
But you re already married, right?
3
SPEAKER_00
And you just did like a formal one.
3
SPEAKER_00
We had a formal wedding in Charleston.
3
SPEAKER_00
I have a podcast.
3
SPEAKER_00
What s the name of your podcast?
3
SPEAKER_00
Happy Hour.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s like a bachelor podcast.
3
SPEAKER_00
But you don t own it?
3
SPEAKER_00
No.
3
SPEAKER_00
They just put somebody on it?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
But are you making some decent scratch with it?
3
SPEAKER_00
I get paid for it.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s another thing I don t understand about these bachelor, I always told my wife if she died, I would go on The Bachelor.
3
SPEAKER_00
I would wanna be The Bachelor.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I don t think they would allow what I want to do.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, well I don t think you could come out and rearrange the way the show works.
3
SPEAKER_00
Let s get, everybody has to be naked.
3
SPEAKER_00
There s no world where I m gonna marry somebody that I haven t seen naked in the daylight.
3
SPEAKER_00
Well, eventually you will before you marry her.
3
SPEAKER_00
Your wife, that s who you want.
3
SPEAKER_00
You want somebody that fucking walked off the show right before like the very end.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, she didn t even want to get engaged when I asked her.
3
SPEAKER_00
Her season, what was the guy s name?
3
SPEAKER_00
Matt James.
3
SPEAKER_00
I watched that.
3
SPEAKER_00
Are you friends with him?
3
SPEAKER_00
Hold on.
3
SPEAKER_00
Are you friends with him?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, no, I do.
3
SPEAKER_00
I do like him.
3
SPEAKER_00
Here s what I liked about Matt James.
3
SPEAKER_00
I remember the very first episode he started by asking everybody to pray and I was like, oh shit.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh shit.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is awful.
3
SPEAKER_00
We re all gonna pray.
3
SPEAKER_00
25 of you women that I hopefully get to have sex with.
3
SPEAKER_00
Let s first have a nice, and then the girl s like, oh, this is so meaningful.
3
SPEAKER_00
This is what I wanted.
3
SPEAKER_00
The most insane way to start a show that is basically built around debauchery.
3
SPEAKER_00
We re gonna have this nice prayer to start it off.
3
SPEAKER_00
All right, how s marriage been?
3
SPEAKER_00
Married life is wonderful, it s great.
3
SPEAKER_00
How long have you been married now?
3
SPEAKER_00
Two years.
3
SPEAKER_00
She s Canadian?
3
SPEAKER_00
She s from Toronto.
3
SPEAKER_00
She Canadian?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, I m making sure.
3
SPEAKER_00
Some people live in Toronto, but alright, so she s Canadian.
3
SPEAKER_00
I always say don t marry somebody from a different country, but I don t consider Canada a different country.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, but there s a lot more to it than we initially thought.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah?
3
SPEAKER_00
Like it is another country.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh.
3
SPEAKER_00
So like all, like you have to, you know, there s like immigration and... Does she can become a citizen?
3
SPEAKER_00
Potentially.
3
SPEAKER_00
Potentially.
3
SPEAKER_00
Are you going to move to Canada?
3
SPEAKER_00
Right now we re trying to stay in the States, so we ll see what happens.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I do, I enjoy Toronto.
3
SPEAKER_01
Toronto sucks.
3
SPEAKER_01
You don t like Toronto?
3
SPEAKER_01
No.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, you really don t like it?
3
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, that s fair.
3
SPEAKER_00
Give me Nova Scotia, give me Montreal, give me Vancouver, sure.
3
SPEAKER_00
But Toronto?
3
SPEAKER_00
Hard pass.
3
SPEAKER_00
Nova Scotia?
3
SPEAKER_00
Sure.
3
SPEAKER_00
Halifax?
3
SPEAKER_00
I ve never been there.
3
SPEAKER_00
Oh, nicest people on the planet.
3
SPEAKER_00
Interesting.
3
SPEAKER_00
Isn t that what they re known for?
3
SPEAKER_00
I think they re considered the nicest people on the planet.
3
SPEAKER_00
Whatever.
3
SPEAKER_00
One time I did a show there, they protested it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s true.
3
SPEAKER_00
No, you can t spell for shit.
3
SPEAKER_00
Neither can I, though.
3
SPEAKER_00
I could.
3
SPEAKER_00
You want me to give you a word?
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_00
All right, let s see how you do.
3
SPEAKER_00
Let me just pick a random word, and let s just see how you do on a single word.
3
SPEAKER_00
Bachelorette.
3
SPEAKER_01
That is the one word that it did.
3
SPEAKER_01
I screw that word up every time.
3
SPEAKER_01
I can spell the bachelor.
3
SPEAKER_01
Spell bachelorette.
3
SPEAKER_01
B-A-C-H-E-L-L-E-T.
3
SPEAKER_01
O-R-E-T-T-E.
3
SPEAKER_00
Bachelorette.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s pretty good.
3
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
3
SPEAKER_00
Were you scared?
3
SPEAKER_00
I was nervous.
3
SPEAKER_00
Why are you still not on Cameo?
3
SPEAKER_00
I feel like you re leaving a lot of money on the table.
3
SPEAKER_00
I never wanted to do Cameo.
3
SPEAKER_00
You don t want to say happy birthday to people?
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t want to charge people for me to say happy birthday to them.
3
SPEAKER_00
Fair enough, fair enough.
3
SPEAKER_00
Can we give out your
4
SPEAKER_05
number and let people text you for free.
4
SPEAKER_05
I accidentally did do that.
4
SPEAKER_05
You gave out your number once?
4
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, and I gave out my Starbucks gift card once because I was trying to be nice for Christmas, like pay it forward kind of thing.
4
SPEAKER_05
And I put it on my Instagram and I filled it with a couple hundred bucks for people to get their coffees.
4
SPEAKER_05
And then every time I put more money in it, it would get whacked because people still had my number.
4
SPEAKER_05
Oh, man.
4
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, did you change it?
4
SPEAKER_05
I just don t use it anymore.
4
SPEAKER_05
No.
4
SPEAKER_05
You get harassed, recognized, any of that stuff?
4
SPEAKER_05
I don t get harassed, but I still do get recognized.
4
SPEAKER_04
And are you nice to people?
4
SPEAKER_04
I m very nice.
4
SPEAKER_04
I think it s fun to not be nice all the time, but I have a different reputation.
4
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_04
Like if somebody comes up to me and says, hey, I m a fan, can I take a photo?
4
SPEAKER_04
I m like, no!
4
SPEAKER_04
And then I just walk away.
4
SPEAKER_04
Really?
4
SPEAKER_04
That s what you do?
4
SPEAKER_04
I ll do that sometimes because that makes them laugh.
4
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_04
Like you scream.
4
SPEAKER_04
But you go back?
4
SPEAKER_04
No, I don t go back.
4
SPEAKER_04
Fuck them.
4
SPEAKER_04
Well, I m going to try it.
4
SPEAKER_04
You and your wife both do the podcast.
4
SPEAKER_04
We do it together.
4
SPEAKER_04
Are you guys both like lifers?
4
SPEAKER_04
Are you going to just keep doing different reality projects if they come along?
4
SPEAKER_05
I mean, if I get asked to do another reality show, I would entertain it.
4
SPEAKER_05
But we ll see.
4
SPEAKER_05
I mean, if it fits the schedule, sure.
4
SPEAKER_05
What s your schedule?
4
SPEAKER_05
That s pretty open.
4
SPEAKER_04
You re smart enough to realize, oh, this is interesting, and I ll take this as long as I can.
4
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, I m riding this wave.
4
SPEAKER_04
I mean, listen, if anyone has taken a small little poppet fame and turned it into a career, it s you.
4
SPEAKER_05
Well, who else from the show are you going to ask on your show?
4
SPEAKER_05
You re the last one.
4
SPEAKER_05
And the only one, right?
4
SPEAKER_05
No, we ve done them all.
4
SPEAKER_05
No, yeah, see, I mean, there s— I mean, think about it.
4
SPEAKER_05
I m gonna think about it.
4
SPEAKER_05
Think about what?
4
SPEAKER_05
What do you want me to think about?
4
SPEAKER_05
Why did you only ask me?
4
SPEAKER_05
I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_05
Because you see raw talent.
4
SPEAKER_04
Because you re silly.
4
SPEAKER_05
I m a silly guy.
4
SPEAKER_05
Because you re silly.
4
SPEAKER_05
Because you re funny.
4
SPEAKER_04
Joe, thank you for being on the show, and congratulations on all your success.
4
SPEAKER_04
Look forward to watching you this season on The Goat.
4
SPEAKER_04
Thank you very much.
4
SPEAKER_04
Look at that handshake.
4
SPEAKER_04
So firm.
4
SPEAKER_05
Strong.
4
SPEAKER_07
Hi there.
4
SPEAKER_07
I m Bob Pittman, chairman and CEO of iHeartMedia.
4
SPEAKER_07
Welcome to Math & Magic, stories from the frontiers of marketing.
4
SPEAKER_07
This week I m talking to the one and only Ryan Seacrest.
4
SPEAKER_08
love the connection to people.
4
SPEAKER_08
I think at the core, what I get excited about, what gets me up in the morning is connecting with people in an unscripted, unvarnished way.
4
SPEAKER_08
It s getting to say something to them, hear back from them, know that I m part of the routine, and I look forward to getting on the air.
4
SPEAKER_07
I look forward to it.
4
SPEAKER_07
In these exciting times, we re looking to the math, the strategy and analytics, and the magic, the creative spark, more than ever.
4
SPEAKER_07
Listen to Math & Magic on our very own iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.
4
SPEAKER_02
Every week on Talk Easy with Sam Fragoso, I invite an artist, writer, or politician to come to the table and speak from the heart, in ways I imagine you haven t heard from them before.
4
SPEAKER_02
Some of my favorites are with Tom Hanks, Margaret Atwood, Questlove, Cate Blanchett, and Oscar Isaac.
4
SPEAKER_02
If that sounds like a varied group of people, it s because it is.
4
SPEAKER_02
I always wanted to make a show where one week we could sit with a politician like Beto O Rourke, the next an author like Min Jin Lee, or TV titans like Bill Hader and Quinta Brunson.
4
SPEAKER_02
Basically, this is a podcast driven by curiosity and an abundance of research.
4
SPEAKER_02
Conversations where people actually start to sound like people.
4
SPEAKER_02
In recent weeks, I sat with Dan Levy, Ava DuVernay, Benny Safdie, and the editor of The New Yorker, David Remnick.
4
SPEAKER_02
You can listen to Talk Easy with Sam Forgoso on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
4
SPEAKER_02
I hope to see you there.
4
SPEAKER_00
Hey, I m Jay Shetty, and I m the host of On Purpose.
4
SPEAKER_00
On Purpose s mission is to create impactful conversations to help you become happier, healthier, and more healed.
4
SPEAKER_00
This week, I talked to Tiffany Haddish in a hilarious, deep, thoughtful interview where we dive into family trauma, grief, sobriety, love, and dating.
4
SPEAKER_00
You ll be laughing, crying, and have so many impactful takeaways after this interview.
4
SPEAKER_01
I had this like, you know, homie lover friend for a long time.
4
SPEAKER_01
He s very disrespectful to me, very kind of messed up to me.
4
SPEAKER_01
But in my mind, we could get married.
4
SPEAKER_01
We have the most beautiful babies.
4
SPEAKER_01
He handsome.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m pretty.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, it would be so cool.
4
SPEAKER_01
He s smart and intellectual.
4
SPEAKER_01
I m kind of smart, I think.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, it would be fun.
4
SPEAKER_01
We have the best conversations.
4
SPEAKER_01
Like, we have fun.
4
SPEAKER_01
But then he would treat me like crap.
4
SPEAKER_00
Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
4
SPEAKER_00
Trust me, you won t want to miss this one.
4
SPEAKER_04
I want to thank grocery store Joe for being on the podcast.
4
SPEAKER_04
You find Joe interesting?
4
SPEAKER_04
Huh?
4
SPEAKER_04
Carl, do you find Joe interesting?
4
SPEAKER_04
He really tickles me.
4
SPEAKER_04
The first three episodes of The Goat are now available on set, Carl.
4
SPEAKER_04
Prime Video.
4
SPEAKER_04
They re available.
4
SPEAKER_04
The first three.
4
SPEAKER_04
Then every Thursday, a new one s going to drop.
4
SPEAKER_04
By the way, this is two days after Mother s Day, but technically I m recording this before Mother s Day.
4
SPEAKER_04
So let s just get this out of the way.
4
SPEAKER_04
That way I won t have to do it on Mother s Day.
4
SPEAKER_04
Hey.
4
SPEAKER_04
Happy Mother s Day.
4
SPEAKER_03
What are you, trying to be the first?
4
SPEAKER_04
Oh, I m the first.
4
SPEAKER_04
Mother s Day.
4
SPEAKER_04
Well, this is going to air after Mother s Day, so I m doing it on the air, an official Mother s Day, the most meaningful.
4
SPEAKER_03
Well, you re first, but it doesn t count because it s not Sunday.
4
SPEAKER_04
How are you feeling physically?
4
SPEAKER_03
I m fine, thank you.
4
SPEAKER_03
Except that I was very concerned because your sister and your niece and their family, they were under tornado all night last night.
4
SPEAKER_03
So I was up most of the night texting with them and through there, but they re all fine.
4
SPEAKER_03
So that s good.
4
SPEAKER_04
Oh, that s good.
4
SPEAKER_04
Is that it?
4
SPEAKER_03
That s it.
4
SPEAKER_03
That s it.
4
SPEAKER_04
Happy Mother s Day.
4
SPEAKER_03
Thank you.
4
SPEAKER_03
Love you.
4
SPEAKER_03
Bye.
4
SPEAKER_04
Love you.
4
SPEAKER_04
Bye.
4
SPEAKER_04
Hey, I want to thank everyone that came out to the Dolby.
4
SPEAKER_04
That was a,
4
SPEAKER_04
a pretty neat experience.
4
SPEAKER_04
My poor son, I was going to exploit him.
4
SPEAKER_04
I was like, hey, do you want to do the intro for me at the Dolby, where they do the Oscars?
4
SPEAKER_04
And he said yes.
4
SPEAKER_04
He was very excited.
4
SPEAKER_04
He had a joke planned and everything.
4
SPEAKER_04
He was going to walk out there.
4
SPEAKER_04
And the day of,
4
SPEAKER_04
He was like, I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_04
He did.
4
SPEAKER_04
He s like, he just kept saying, I don t, I don t know if I feel like doing it.
4
SPEAKER_04
And then he started complaining about being sick.
4
SPEAKER_04
And I m like, Oh no.
4
SPEAKER_04
I m like, did I, if you have like butterflies, are you nervous?
4
SPEAKER_04
And I put this on you about doing this intro.
4
SPEAKER_04
And, and I, so I felt horrible.
4
SPEAKER_04
I was like, this is awful.
4
SPEAKER_04
I m a stage parent, forcing my kid to do something that he doesn t want to do.
4
SPEAKER_04
And then there would be waves where he s like, no, no, I really want to do it.
4
SPEAKER_04
I was like, OK, we ll just do it backstage.
4
SPEAKER_04
And I hand you a mic, and you can do it.
4
SPEAKER_04
And you walk out and just take a little bow with me.
4
SPEAKER_04
And he did it, and it was funny.
4
SPEAKER_06
Ladies and gentlemen, the latest comedian in the world couldn t be here tonight.
4
SPEAKER_06
Instead, my dad, Daniel Todd.
4
SPEAKER_04
He passed out immediately after in the green room, and we re driving home, and he just starts vomiting just all over himself, just all over us, and I m trying to clean it up.
4
SPEAKER_04
We re like five minutes from home, and it s just covered in vomit.
4
SPEAKER_04
And I m like, what have I done?
4
SPEAKER_04
I m just sopping everything up.
4
SPEAKER_04
So that was, you know, the big night in Hollywood.
4
SPEAKER_04
I m at a prestigious theater.
4
SPEAKER_04
I do a show and I m just covered in my son s puke.
4
SPEAKER_04
Then the next day, I didn t feel so bad because like nine of his classmates had this bug and all of them had vomited.
4
SPEAKER_04
So I was like, oh, that s awesome.
4
SPEAKER_04
It s not my fault.
4
SPEAKER_04
Not you.
4
SPEAKER_04
But he recovered, and I m glad he did it, because it s a neat little memory.
4
SPEAKER_04
He did great.
4
SPEAKER_04
Speaking of shows, May 18th, I m back in Vegas at the Cosmopolitan.
4
SPEAKER_04
That is going to be exciting.
4
SPEAKER_04
My first time performing there.
4
SPEAKER_04
Get tickets.
4
SPEAKER_04
I also have other dates coming up.
4
SPEAKER_04
Louisville, Kentucky.
4
SPEAKER_04
I don t know.
4
SPEAKER_04
Where else?
4
SPEAKER_04
Detroit.
4
SPEAKER_04
Outside of Detroit.
4
SPEAKER_04
Columbus.
4
SPEAKER_04
Indianapolis.
4
SPEAKER_04
Come on, Indianapolis.
5
SPEAKER_02
What s going on?
5
SPEAKER_02
Boyswearpink.com?
5
SPEAKER_02
I guess now it s time for one of my son s bedtime stories?
5
SPEAKER_02
Have fun with this nonsense.
5
SPEAKER_02
He was off the rails.
5
SPEAKER_02
And I don t edit these, but you ll notice my tone at the end of it is like, ugh.
5
SPEAKER_02
Hey, time for bed, kid.
5
SPEAKER_02
See you next week.
5
SPEAKER_03
Okay, once upon a time, a pterodactyl was flying in the rain.
5
SPEAKER_03
He tried to keep up with the other pterodactyls, but he tried it, but it was too rainy.
5
SPEAKER_03
He fell down into someone s trucy, and then an octopus came running out from the trucy into the pool, and then the octopus ate the pterodactyl flying pterodactyl.
5
SPEAKER_03
How bad flying in the rain.
5
SPEAKER_03
and then they went on the sand and then it broke the outer window into the side and they saw the other two adapters and then the other two adapters broke and then the other person ate all of the two adapters
5
SPEAKER_03
And then they just rammed into a science bus.
5
SPEAKER_03
And then, and then... Wait, wait, wait.
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SPEAKER_03
They went on the sand and they rode in a science bus with a big octopus.
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SPEAKER_02
Hold on.
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SPEAKER_03
The octopus ate the sand and then they were in a seagull.
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SPEAKER_03
And they took it out of the seagull because they were too big.
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SPEAKER_02
They were in a seagull?
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SPEAKER_02
And then... Oh, God.
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SPEAKER_03
They were in the sand.
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SPEAKER_02
Wrap this story up right now.
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SPEAKER_03
And then it sunned so bright that they blew it away.
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SPEAKER_03
And then the big goldfin helped it down.
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SPEAKER_03
And then there were two big octopuses that ate all the tadpoles.
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SPEAKER_03
And then their mom and daddy ate all the tadpoles and climbed up a mountain and flew down from the mountain.
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SPEAKER_04
Get emotional with me, Radhi Devlukia, in my new podcast, A Really Good Cry.
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SPEAKER_04
We re going to be talking with some of my best friends.
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SPEAKER_04
I didn t know we were going to go there.
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SPEAKER_04
People that I admire.
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SPEAKER_04
When we say listen to your body, really tune in to what s going on.
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SPEAKER_04
Authors of books that have changed my life.
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SPEAKER_04
Now you re talking about sympathy, which is different than empathy.
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SPEAKER_04
Never forget, it s OK to cry as long as you make it a really good one.
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Listen to A Really Good Cry with Radhi Devlukia on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
5
SPEAKER_01
Hi, this is Kurt Woodsmith.
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SPEAKER_01
You remember me from such TV comedies as That 70s Show and That 90s Show on Netflix.
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SPEAKER_01
I ll never forget the words that my grandfather said just before he kicked the bucket.
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SPEAKER_01
He said, watch how far I can kick this bucket.
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SPEAKER_01
People ask me where I get my dad jokes from.
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SPEAKER_01
I tell them to listen to the Daily Dad Jokes podcast.
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SPEAKER_01
Listen to Daily Dad Jokes every day on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
5
SPEAKER_00
Every family has an origin story, one passed down through the generations.
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SPEAKER_00
Mine happens to be a mystery involving my great-great-grandmother left behind in Sicily.
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SPEAKER_00
I m Joe Piazza, and my new podcast will transport you to the gorgeous island of Sicily as I trace my roots back through a whodunit for the ages.
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SPEAKER_00
Listen to The Sicilian Inheritance on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.