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Hey, Jordan Harbinger here.
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Welcome to Mini-Sowed Monday.
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I m happy to be here with you, kicking the week off with something quick and actionable that you can implement right away that ll make you more magnetic and effective.
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Now today, we re gonna talk a little bit about, well, the problem is, we believe our own thoughts all the time, and this is a problem.
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This is a problem.
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The problem is that our thought patterns are largely formed out of habits, and the belief systems and thought processes we have inside our heads also get stronger and reinforced all the more as we get older.
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And this, of course, happens regardless of whether or not these thoughts are even true.
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In other words, we believe things that are inside our head because they seem to be coming from inside us, but that voice is not to be trusted.
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And here are some examples.
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I m not cut out for this job.
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I might fail if I try.
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She ll never like me.
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I ll never be accepted here.
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I m not smart enough to pass this exam.
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If any of that sounds familiar, well, then you re in good company.
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One of the best things we can do for ourselves is take a really good, deep look at our mental chatter when we have these types of thoughts.
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Then and only then do we create the opportunity to make a choice as to whether or not we want to continue with that thought and keep that belief system or
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whether we want to challenge it and create a new pattern that actually serves us better.
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So when these thoughts bubble up, do you find yourself exaggerating or distorting the situation?
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Do you see things through some sort of mental or emotional filter instead of seeing the whole picture?
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Observations impact thoughts.
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There s a disconnect there that can go wrong.
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You can get a little bit of a mess in the translation.
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Your thoughts inform how you feel.
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that can be messy based on your current emotional state, baggage, childhood, whatever, and those influence your beliefs, which are all subjective as well.
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So look at how many sort of weak connections we have here, and then those thoughts bubble up somehow as facts, as things we can t argue against because they re in our mind, right?
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So you notice these belief patterns showing through as they arise, challenge them.
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Challenge them if they re not the ones you d like to see in your life.
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If they re not moving you forward, do something about it.
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Ask the questions.
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And yeah, I know that this is much easier said than done.
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And when these thoughts come up, they can really sink their claws in and they can drag us down.
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So if you notice this happening, question their validity.
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Is the risk of failure really impossibly high?
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Are you really not smart enough?
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Are you really so unattractive that you re completely unlovable?
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Who might disagree with that assessment?
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And why might they disagree?
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The problem isn t the thoughts themselves.
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It s the fact that we take these thoughts as truth without questioning them just because they re ours.
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And it s a cycle.
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The more we believe these thoughts, the stronger the belief patterns associated with them become.
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So question them as much as you can.
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Let the thoughts come and question them.
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Is this really the truth?
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Is this really what you want to believe?
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Is this what you need to believe in order to get where you want to be?
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The best part of this practice is that the more we challenge our thoughts, the more we re able to put some weight behind and reinforce alternative thought and belief patterns that serve us better and are in fact healthier for us and healthier for our goals.
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And this does take time and effort, but just think of it like going to the gym and building your body and your muscles.
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It doesn t work if you go one time and work out.
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It has to become a habit.
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And the same thing with our thoughts and beliefs.
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Question them, work them out, mold them into what you want them to be over and over.
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So your relationship ends.
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Does that define you?
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You re asked to leave a job.
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What does that say about you?
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Does it condemn you or is this an opportunity?
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You ve heard me say this on the show before but it bears repeating.
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Our thoughts determine our feelings which in turn determine our actions which later define our beliefs.
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That s the cycle, so make sure you re choosing carefully which thoughts you want to give weight to.
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And remember, you re a heck of a lot more than just your thoughts.
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If you re looking for a more step-by-step process of self-awareness and how you can improve this quality in yourself and further, use it to relate better to others, I encourage you to check out the Art of Charm Challenge at theartofcharm.com slash challenge or text CHARMED
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That s C-H-A-R-M-E-D-2-3-3-4-4-4.
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We ll send you action steps every single week to help you level up on your relational skills in both the personal and professional areas.
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As well, of course, I show you where and how you can improve.
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So we ll see you there.
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Until next time, stay charming and have a great week.