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Welcome to the Sell or Die podcast.
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I m your host, Jeffrey Gittimer.
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And I m your host, Jen Gittimer.
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Well, in this podcast, we re going to help you attract more qualified, unbelievable, ready-to-buy clients.
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We re going to help you build loyal relationships.
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And the one thing you re hoping for, close more deals.
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Let s get into it.
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It s time to sell or die.
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So Jamie, happy Thanksgiving.
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Happy Thanksgiving.
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Oh, it s going to be such a great week.
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Happy Thanksgiving.
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Diehard you.
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Gabrielle and I went to the mall today and all of the farmers marketplaces have all their Christmas trees out already and people were buying them like crazy.
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They want to get the best ones, you know?
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Yeah, the Black Friday sales started.
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I purchased almost everything I wanted for Black Friday, like 10 days ago, maybe two weeks ago, because all the sales were already happening.
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The most interesting thing to me was we went into this clothing store, Hugo Boss, and I m picking out a couple of things and Jen goes, we re going to get the Black Friday prices, right?
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And the woman goes, yeah, right.
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And we got 30% discount.
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I said, I said, I think it was a guy who was helping you actually.
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I said, Hey, are you guys going to have a big Black Friday sale?
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And he s like, yeah, I go, huh?
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Well, we want to buy this now.
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So could we have the same sale price?
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And Jeffrey looked at me like, whoa, I can t believe she s asking this and Hugo Boss, like, you know, like, it s like a real chain store, right?
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Yeah, not like a boutique, like a privately owned place.
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And, and the guy goes, sure.
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People are going to ask me about my shirt.
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This is the Paris Red Peppers.
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It s a baseball team from Paris, Texas.
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The East Texas League.
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But the shirt is from 1946, which is the year I was born.
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So it s Paris.
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It s 1946.
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I had to buy it.
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Just so we understand each other.
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And if you re listening on audio only and didn t get the visual, feel free to check YouTube or.
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Yeah, exactly.
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Our social media.
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Okay, so it s appropriate that this week we talk about being grateful, but it s also appropriate that we don t talk about being grateful.
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How everyone else talks about it, because you ve likely heard the message.
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It s time to be grateful and all that jazz, like, from your family and you re with your loved ones, but you don t really like your uncle Ralph.
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But he s there every year anyway, and you sort of tolerate the guy.
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Well, I think one of the things that people tell us is that we put a different spin on, you know, on a message, right?
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We have our own way of talking about things.
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And so what s your take, Jeffrey, on being grateful around this time of year?
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What does that look like for you?
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Well, Jen, let s start with the obvious.
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I m grateful for you.
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Oh.
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You are the consummate partner, the consummate wife, the consummate friend, the consummate shopper.
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I mean, you re just the consummate traveler, just everything.
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And I m grateful.
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You re welcome.
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Now, maudlin things aside, I want you, Die Hard, to start your gratefulness with yourself.
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I m grateful for me.
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I m grateful for who I have become.
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I m grateful for the skills that I have attained over the years, both in fatherhood and husbandhood and in business.
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If I hadn t failed a few times as a businessman and a husband, I wouldn t
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be nearly the person that I am.
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And I m actually going back to New York now for a couple days, and I m going to walk around the places where I made big sales.
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Just, you know, I mean, Sixth Avenue, which people erroneously call Avenue of the Americas.
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I go to the General Motors building.
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I ll go to where Harper Collins is.
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You know, I mean, these are huge places for me.
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They re like historic sales monuments.
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I think that s a really good point because a lot of people preach being grateful and who you re grateful to not just what but who.
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And so you think about your family and your friends and your loved ones and.
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your clients and all these people, but how often do you put yourself on that list?
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And listen, I m grateful for the friendships I m able to make because of the reputation that I ve been able to build.
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People want to hang out with me.
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We were just in Phoenix for Harvey McKay s 90th birthday.
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How d we get that invite?
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You know, we got the invite because he s been like my dad for 25 years.
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We also got a shirt that says we each got a shirt that says I m one of Harvey McKay s closest personal friends or something like that.
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All 300 people who attended the party also received the shirt.
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But I do feel very special.
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I do.
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Yeah.
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But the people that were there were their own classics.
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Yeah.
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And everyone was approachable.
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Everyone wanted to talk to everyone else.
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Oh, for sure.
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For sure.
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It was a really amazing group of people.
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So I m grateful to you for that, Jeffrey, for your ability to make friendships with just the coolest people on the planet.
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And we made new ones.
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We re now pals with John Gray.
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Men are from
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No, men are from Mars, women are from Venus.
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Okay, but Diehard, I want to bring this back to you.
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What are you grateful for from yourself?
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And when was the last time you made that list?
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Like a dear myself, whatever your name is, dear Jen, I m grateful for you because I m grateful for you for doing this or for being that.
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I m now grateful for being a great father, a great grandfather, and a great grandfather.
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and a husband.
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I mean, I m grateful for my skillset that I ve built over the years because without it, I wouldn t have these amazingly close interpersonal relationships.
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And I m void of jealousy, I m void of envy, but that takes years to wash away.
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You don t just get that.
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It doesn t just happen, but you have to acknowledge yourself for where you are or where you are not so that that becomes a way of life.
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And then that way of life builds on it year after year after year.
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My grandma raised me from a very young age to never be jealous.
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I don t know how she ingrained it in me, but it was so important to her that I would never be mad or angry or jealous at someone else for having something that I did not.
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And instead to figure out how you can be happy for them.
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And so to that, I m grateful for her.
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Because it was it was a great lesson.
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You just said it takes a long time and for me I never I didn t have this is there s a skill set and the skill set is Self-discipline that it takes and the lessons that you learn and how you react to those lessons That s that s the real deal and and I m not a believer in tough love at all I think it s a easy bullshit way out of that
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Having to face your own realities and put blame on somebody else, and I m going to punish them.
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I love my kid, but they were a lousy kid.
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No, you were a lousy parent.
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I mean, take responsibility.
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Don t be, well, I got to figure out who I m going to punish.
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Punish yourself.
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You know, put yourself in time out.
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Yeah, it s like being grateful to others.
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Tough love begins with yourself, right?
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Like, if you re going to put tough love on someone else, like, you got to ask yourself, what, what can I do?
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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It s, it s an interesting concept for sure.
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So one of your actions this week.
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is to think about what you re grateful to yourself for.
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What are the qualities you love in yourself?
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What have you worked hard on yourself to achieve?
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Who have you become?
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What does that identity look like?
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What do you love about
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who you ve become that you can be grateful for because you created that.
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And who do you still want to become?
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And how can you get there?
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Because we re about to go into this new year and thinking about why you re grateful to yourself first is going to be really foundational to going into this new year to do in order to achieve exactly what you want to achieve.
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So break it down.
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Are you grateful for your ability to smile?
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Are you grateful for your ability to be positive?
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Are you grateful for your ability to self-discipline?
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Are you grateful for your ability to write or to sell or to lead?
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Or for travel?
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I mean, what are you grateful for?
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Your ability to attract and keep friends?
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Your ability to tell the truth?
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There are things that,
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You overlook and today is the day of this week is a week to focus on the positivity of that because that will get you into the new year and make you incredibly successful.
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The nuance of that is you will get all these emails of have your best year ever.
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I ve already gotten 10 of them.
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I delete them as fast as I can get them in.
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But I m about having your best decade.
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I think that s the best way to do it.
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And I think if you are really grateful for yourself and for your achievements, you will put yourself in a position where you re going to have your best year anyway.
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It s not a focus.
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It s just happening.
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You know, I have a T-shirt that says, be your best self.
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It s down here.
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I can read it myself.
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I have two of them.
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I have a black one and a white one.
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So no matter what I m wearing, I can still fashionize it.
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But the bottom line for that is, it s the truth.
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If you start there, then it doesn t matter what the turkey tastes like.
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It doesn t matter what
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If your uncle Harry s there or not, because you re shooting for your best self and your best self doesn t get angry at other people.
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Your best self doesn t not talk to somebody because they re a jerk.
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Get over it.
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Get over it.
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So there have been studies on gratitude and having a gratitude practice.
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And I think it s interesting because we talk about not just we like Jeffrey and I, but like our society talks about gratitude pretty much one time a year.
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Right.
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Like Thanksgiving?
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No, Christmas.
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Really?
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And then people, yeah, they re thankful for the gifts they got and that kind of crap.
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Oh, okay, okay, fine.
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Twice a year, I ll give you that.
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And then New Year s, they get all maudlin.
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I think Christmas is a stretch, but I ll give it to you, okay?
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So we talk about it twice a year.
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Right, and maybe your birthday.
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Okay, let s just say we talk about it three times a year at most, okay?
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What about our anniversary, which we ve forgotten the last two years?
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So here s the deal.
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There have been studies on the benefits of having a gratitude practice.
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Yeah.
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And how it actually improves your mental health.
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Not in a day.
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Okay.
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It doesn t like, oh, I practiced gratitude today.
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So now I have better mental health.
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No, but if you practice gratitude for four weeks, four weeks, you will improve based on the study.
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You will improve your mental health.
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And the study that I found also found that the difference in mental health became even larger for the participants who continued on for 12 weeks with writing activities.
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The writing activities don t have to be long.
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It could be a couple minutes in the morning just writing down what you re grateful for.
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Now, imagine that you incorporate this practice now, by March of next year, you will have, if you continue it every day, just for a few minutes a day, writing down what you re grateful for, to who you re grateful for, to whom you re grateful for.
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all the positive words that are going to come out of your brain and onto paper that are going to be visualized.
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Imagine the compound effect that that s going to have on you by the time January, February, March rolls around.
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What could that do for your success?
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And make sure that in your grateful list that you re going to be writing, that you re grateful for the skills that you re developing.
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It s not about out there.
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Yeah, you can be grateful to people, your mom or dad or your best business partner or your best customers or whoever.
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your friends, but it s you.
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You re the core of this.
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And once you get the fact that you are the fulcrum point, it s easier to branch out.
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But if I ask you for grateful, what s the fulcrum point of your gratefulness?
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You re going to think of like about a person.
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Oh, you know, Jim Rohn was the folk.
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No, it s not.
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It s your ability to study Jim Rohn.
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So I think the reason why we re harping on this is because there are inevitably in our life, in your life, in my life, in everyone s life, there are going to be days that are not as easy as other days.
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In other words, there are going to be some days that can be tough, right?
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And we re heading into more uncertain times than ever before.
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And day by day, it s hard to know sometimes what s coming around the corner.
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But if you establish a gratitude practice right now, a couple minutes a day, I mean, we all have extra time in the day.
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Just stop your scroll for one minute and write down a list.
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Just brain dump what you re grateful for.
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And you establish that right now, then as time gets tough, as you come to a hard day or a difficult moment,
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you are going to be at a different foundational level in terms of your nervous system.
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Your nervous system is going to be so much more regulated.
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It s going to be at such a calmer level, and it s going to be able to think clearly and creatively to help you overcome whatever s coming your way.
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So I m going to give you an idea.
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Take a piece of paper, put three columns on the paper.
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What you re grateful for, who you re grateful for, and then the things that you re grateful about yourself.
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That s the key.
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If you have that, you have the beginning of everything.
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You don t have that, you got nothing.
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Identify your own core gratefulness, your own core values that you re building, and be grateful for those things so that you can build on those and move on.
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I mean, it s just, it makes perfect sense and no one talks about it.
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Yeah, a lot of things make perfect sense that no one talks about, like how important getting outside and getting vitamin D is, especially in the wintertime where we have less sunlight.
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Go do it, okay?
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It s not that hard.
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Go for a walk, go outside, get vitamin D. But see, people don t talk about that.
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They d rather give you something like a pill or something to take instead.
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It s silly.
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I take a D, three.
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Yeah, so do most people.
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But you know what s natural?
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The sun.
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I ve heard of them.
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Just saying.
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OK, it s there every day.
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So die hard.
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It s our time to depart.
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We ve got to go get the turkey in the oven.
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No, don t leave me again.
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Until next time.
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I m Jane Gittmer.
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You look so nice with your new haircut.
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I hardly recognized you.
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And I m Jeffrey Gittmer.
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And I m challenging you.
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Now is the time to identify the qualities that you have developed to be grateful.
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And now is the time to focus on them so that when some kind of crisis comes up, you can go into your inner soul and count on those things to be able to get you out of it.
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It ll make you a better communicator.
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It ll make you a better person, a better family person.
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You re going to do nothing but win once you go into Grateful.
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That s the message of the day.
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And I look forward to seeing you at the turkey table.
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Bye.
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Thanks for listening to the show.
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Don t forget to like, share.
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Yeah, share with both your friends.
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And subscribe to the podcast.
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And remember, we have a free 22 day sales challenge.
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Just go to gator.com slash sales challenge to start you on your way.