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Hey, Jordan Harbinger here.
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Welcome to Minnesota Monday.
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I m happy to be here with you kicking the week off with something quick and actionable that you can implement right away that ll make you more magnetic and effective.
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Today we re talking with my friend Karen Battleaxe, Karen Batesel.
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We re gonna talk a little bit about respect and some very practical ways to avoid misunderstandings here with Karen.
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Thanks so much for doing this by the way.
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You bet.
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Hey Jordan, how s everybody there?
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Karen here and I just wanted to tell you it s great to be back.
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I ve been thinking a lot about respect and I ve been getting a lot of questions in my work about what the military thinks about respect in general, pop culture and the world.
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And I wanted to share some thoughts with you, might be helpful to some of your listeners.
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For one thing, the military has a real special relationship with that word.
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And part of it is because we take the effort and time to define it, which kind of sounds like an understatement.
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when you think about boot camp, iconic images of screaming and learning how to stand and talk and salute.
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But in the larger world, knowing what people mean by the word respect means a lot.
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And it is at the root of so many misunderstandings, because really, when you tease it out, respect is a take on what is right and what is wrong.
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And everybody feels like they have the market cornered on that definition.
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but we don t often sit down and make sure it s a common definition, which the military does.
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And that s why I think we are, we kind of have a license on the word, but only because we take the time and effort to define it.
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And I want to share that with your readers or your listeners, because so many times we have been in situations where we inadvertently disrespected somebody with no intent or felt disrespected by others.
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And if you peel the onion back just one layer, you realize that the meaning of what respect was, was totally in the eye of the beholder.
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So you have to take the time to define what it means.
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And some of it is pretty basic internal lubrication between people, meaning this is how I want you to talk to me.
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This is how I want you to listen to me.
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This is how I want you to address me.
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And then you can get past
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the arguments of whether somebody s showing you disrespect or not and really listen to what they re trying to say.
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So that is so powerful in the conflict resolution work I do and leadership development work I do.
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The first thing somebody starts talking about respect, I say, let s stop right here.
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Tell me what you mean by that.
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And I mean, describe it down to how you want me to name you, how you want me to talk to you, how you want me to approach you.
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Lots of us can grow up thinking about our parents screaming at us saying, you may not like me, but by God, you ll respect me.
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And we had no idea what they meant.
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Well, that continues on in life from my experience.
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And I think we could very easily stop that by saying, tell me what you mean.
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All right, so we define respect.
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And then what do we do after that?
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Yes, defining respect is important because remember, it is both a noun and a verb.
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And so you have to describe the noun in abstract terms, but you have to describe the verb in concrete terms.
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And that s another thing that gets mixed up and becomes highly controversial and highly problematic between people, because one is a very abstract notion, the noun part of it, and the verb is his very definitive acts and behaviors.
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And the military, again,
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We kind of take a lot of time to tease that stuff out and make sure we know what it means.
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And we have a common definition of it in other places, in families, in communities.
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We don t.
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And we see this happening.
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You cannot help but pick up the paper and notice so many controversies that really when you get right down to it, it s people not respecting one another, but they haven t taken the time to sort it out.
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And I would offer that s the first place to start defining it.
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Thanks so much to Karen Batzel, and don t forget about the Art of Charm Challenge, where we ll help you connect with others, create more productive personal and business relationships, and we ve got step-by-step challenges to help you move forward every single week.
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There s also a Facebook group with thousands of other AOC family taking the challenge as well.
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Of course, AJ and I are in there with the rest of the Art of Charm team, helping you all move through the challenges every single day.
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You can join that by texting charmed, C-H-A-R-M-E-D to 33444 here in the states, or you can go to theartofcharm.com slash challenge and get rocking.
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Alright everybody, have a great week.