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Where do we start this?
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An answer doesn t matter.
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We re having a good time.
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He couldn t wait to get in here.
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You need sales balls to make sales calls.
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I m tweeting that puppy.
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Okay.
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Welcome to the Sell or Die podcast.
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We re your hosts, Jeffrey.
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And Jen Gittimer.
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I m the author of The Little Red Book of Selling and 15 other best-selling books and the creator of the seven-figure sales formula program.
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I grew up in Philadelphia, sold in New York City, but was smart enough to move to Charlotte, North Carolina.
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And I m the author of Sales in a New York Minute and creator of Breakthrough Business Babe Community.
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Fun fact, I m obsessed with our dogs and consider them humans.
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If you have a dog, you know exactly what I m talking about.
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Sell or Die is for sales professionals, sales people, sales managers, entrepreneurs, and business owners who want to sell more at full price
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earn loyalty, and have an unlimited stream of referrals.
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Every single episode is going to give you real world, easy to implement solutions so that you can get your calls returned, your proposals read and acted on, all while creating relationships that you can take all the way to the bank.
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It s time to sell or die.
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Welcome back, Diehard.
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And welcome back to you wherever you are in the world.
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So I grew up in New Jersey where people have no patience whatsoever.
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And lately it s been more evident that my patience is escaping me.
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Could be from age, could be from whatever.
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And Jen is very sensitive to my reactions and
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challenged me to take a breathing lesson, which is kind of woo when you think about it, how do you fucking breathe?
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Because you do it involuntarily your whole life, but she has this whole discipline around it.
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She goes, I need you to meet this guy, his name is Jeffrey Oakes, and he will teach you how to breathe, therefore, and the outcome of that will be, you ll be a calmer, more genteel, not Gentile, person.
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And so I said, okay, because I don t want to be known as somebody that goes the wrong way on a, you know, I want to be a nice person, which is hard when you re from New Jersey because they don t breed nice people there, they breed assholes.
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It s a choice.
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Yeah, but the closer you get to New York, the bigger the asshole you are.
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Everyone knows that.
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So I m talking to this guy this morning, and I m actually excited about the call.
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Literally, I m excited about the call.
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And he said, I understand from Jen, you re looking to do this and that.
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And he said, let s look at it as a response rather than a reaction.
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I said, what do you mean?
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He said, well, if you re an emergency, whatever they call them, EMTs,
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you don t react to a situation, you respond.
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You re called a first responder.
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And I thought, oh my God, why didn t I think of that?
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Why didn t I think of that?
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And so we spent the morning talking about response rather than reaction through the science of breathing.
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And I ll tell you what,
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it s, it already is, I can see it in my mind.
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The visualization process was there, that if I simply am willing to take a deeper breath or a different kind of breath, like he gave me this nostril process where you actually have to take your fingers and change them in your hand to where you, you block and I don t know, he s going to send me a video on it.
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But it works, literally it works, because it teaches you a discipline.
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And I threw back at him, you know, if it s easy to do, it s easy not to do, the great Jim Rohn.
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Simple self-disciplines in life.
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small errors in judgment will cost you a career, but simple self-disciplines will lead you to success.
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And this is a simple self-discipline that I believe will lead everyone to success.
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So I said, but we need to call this course something that s more New Jersey.
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He said, what do you mean?
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I said, I don t want to, I don t want to call it calm down.
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I want to call it calm the fuck down, which is so much better as a title because it, it literally, it s a literal, it tells you what you need to do.
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So I don t know how much you ve shared, Jeffrey, about what we have going on personally, but we have a lot of stuff going on personally that we re trying to help Gabrielle get through.
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And when you re going through something with your family or with loved ones,
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It tends to create a lot of stress and tension in your body.
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And if you look back to times where you ve been the most sick in your life, I can almost guarantee there was an event prior to that, that I don t want to say caused the sickness, but... Created it, allowed it to come out.
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Yeah, it created acidity in your cells, and when your body is more acidic than alkaline, it does something to the cell structure, and I m not a scientist, but I know enough about this to be dangerous, that that s when cancer comes and these other diseases that live in our cells and breathe in our cells and come out in a negative way when there s a lot of stress.
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due to the lack of oxidation.
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And so we breathe normally.
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Like you all who are listening, you have been breathing this whole time.
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No one had to say, hey, remember to breathe.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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Just for the hell of it right now, take a real deep one.
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Then block one nostril and breathe out the other one.
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Oh wow, that is cool.
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It s a discipline that once you understand it, and I m thanking Jeffrey Oaks for it personally, he gave me this new awareness.
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Now, there s one other thing that Jen is not talking about, and that is when you re with your family, they know you well, they know you intimately, and they can trip your trigger.
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by saying one thing one way or the other that they know you don t like, or they know you don t want to hear, and it automatically sets you off.
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And when you re set off, you tend to lose your discipline.
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And so I have to learn how to not be set off.
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I have to learn how to re-discipline my soul, either through meditation or through breathing, that will allow me to be not a kinder, gentler person, but more of one that responds in the positive than triggers the negative.
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And I think that s where we re at on this.
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And I wonder what does it for you?
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So, so the thing I was going to add before is that when you create a breathing practice where so, so we breathe every day, we breathe, breathe every minute we re breathing and it s,
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Unconscious, subconscious, which is the right word.
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Without thought, right?
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It just happens.
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Until it doesn t happen anymore.
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Subconscious would be the word.
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Unconscious would be, you re knocked out on the canvas.
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We want you to be subconsciously breathing.
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Hit you in the face with a shovel.
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Okay, and when you create intention with breath and you do different things, like in the morning, I have my own breath work routine that s different from Jeffrey s, and you re able to get the breath low and slow into your belly and then all the way out, and yeah, that does sound woo, okay, but low and slow, and this is what my coach Mark England taught me, that low and slow creates the flow.
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High and tight.
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He s a poet and doesn t know it.
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High and tight.
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They re Longfellows.
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Oh my God.
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High and tight creates the fight.
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Or maybe not creates, but that s where the fight, when you re in fight or flight, your, your breath is caught up here, right?
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So you want to get your breath low and slow.
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And when you do that, and when you re able to do that, you re able to not only react differently, but also respond differently.
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and recover better.
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And that whole thing is the discipline of resilience, which I ve written about an awful lot, but I didn t realize.
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I thought it was about an action, not a trigger.
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If you ve been triggered, you re going to go off.
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There s no doubt.
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It s part of the trigger process.
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Someone has tripped your trigger and it has made you either sad or angry or reactionary in a way that you might not like when it s done.
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And if you come at it from a standpoint as you get to control the trigger, you get to pull the trigger.
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The trigger s never pulled on you.
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You get to pull the trigger.
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You get to decide when it gets to be pulled.
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It s a whole different story and mindset.
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And so when I think about how this relates, not only to your life, but also to your sales and your business,
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When you re going into a meeting and you re all stressed out, you re not thinking in the best way, right?
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Because you re like, the stress and the breath is caught up here and it s like, ah.
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Whereas when you can calm down and calm your body down, you can be more creative.
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You can think more clearly.
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You can, you can offer better suggestions, better thoughts, better ideas.
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And so it s not only, this is not just something that will impact your life.
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It s something that will impact both your business and your life.
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So let me throw this at you.
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If you walk into a sales call and you re all nervous, it s probably because you re unprepared or not prepared enough to feel reassured that you re going to make the sale or make this connection or transfer your message.
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Interestingly in life, you re not prepared either.
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Like I m not prepared for the triggers that come at me and I got to prepare myself deeper, better
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And someone is more capable of tripping my trigger as a result of being unprepared, me being unprepared.
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So I intend to become a more prepared person so that my responses, I m not going to lose my humor.
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I m not going to lose my sense of life, but I am going to gain more self-discipline in the way I respond to other people in a way that may be more pleasing to them.
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I think that s so powerful because you always talk about preparation for the sale, preparation for your client and how you have to prepare in terms of them.
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And what you re saying now is before you can even prepare in terms of them, you have to prepare in terms of yourself and you have to prepare yourself to prepare in terms of them.
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And get past the woo, because it s not really wooey, it s lifey.
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And when you realize that it affects your life in a way that s negative, the first thing you have to do is change it.
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And if you don t change it, you re gonna lose it.
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If you don t change it, you re gonna lose it.
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And especially- And if you do change it- You re gonna win it.
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Ooh.
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Yeah, woo.
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Oh.
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Diehards, if you re out there, I m challenging you to become a bit more self-disciplined, maybe take a breathing lesson, or at least try to understand what breathing is about, and try to put yourself in a greater state of calm, a greater state of understanding, so that when you respond to somebody, you are a first responder, not a first reactor.
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I m thinking of putting together a breathing video.
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on my morning practice, how to do that.
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If that s something you d be interested in, let me know if you want to watch that.
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Just put your credit card number and your expiration date in the chat box and we will get back to you with an unlimited bill.
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No, uh, I will, I will take that.
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However, I m not, I wasn t actually looking for that in this moment.
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If this is something you re interested in, let me know.
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I m definitely putting something together for my mastermind clients.
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And I m just curious if there s more of a desire out there for something like this that could really set your foundation.
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And what I call Jeffrey doesn t like this term, but I do what I call ground you in the morning.
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To me, a grounder is something that you hit the shortstop and it s a double play.
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So I m, what do you do?
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We ground it out.
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Well, I think about the planes that are being grounded because they re being held safe from the storm.
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And so you re grounding yourself to prepare for whatever the storm may be that day.
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Got it.
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Until next time, diehard, I m Jane Gittimer.
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I m Jeffrey Gittimer, and I m reminding you to respond in a way that others will take it as positive, not reactionary negative.
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Cheers.
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Thank you so much for listening to Sell or Die.
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We hope that this episode has helped you transform the way you think, giving you new ideas, and provided you a new perspective on the sales and business challenges that you face every day, so you can get out there and win the customer all the way to the bank.
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If you enjoyed this episode, please take a second to rate and review.
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Each review helps us help more people just like you make a difference in this world.
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Don t forget to take a screenshot, share it in your Instagram stories and tag us at Jeffrey Gittimer and at Jen Gittimer.
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See you next week.