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This is The Art of Charm.
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Learn everything you need to know to crush it in business, love, and life.
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The Art of Charm is where ordinary guys become extraordinary men.
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Welcome to the Art of Charm, I m Jordan Harbinger.
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The Art of Charm brings together the best thought leaders, teachers, and exceptional individuals to teach you how to be a top performer in life, love, and at work.
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Imagine having a mix of experienced mentors teaching you their expertise and packing decades of research, testing, and tough lessons into a curriculum.
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We may not have all the answers, but we do have all the questions.
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Make sure to stay up to date with The Art of Charm and get some great stuff that we don t or can t share on the show by signing up at theartofcharm.com.
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That s where we ll email you our Fundamentals Toolkit that covers topics like body language, nonverbal communication, dating, attraction, persuasion, networking, public speaking, negotiation, and a whole lot more.
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and we ve got our live programs running every week here in Los Angeles.
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In fact, we ve got guys from all over the world, which shows that no matter where you are, you can make it here if you re committed to learning and growing.
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We re sold out a few months in advance, so if you re thinking about it, get in touch now and plan ahead.
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I m Jordan at theartofcharm.com.
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Looking forward to meeting you here at AOC.
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Today we re talking with my friend Lewis Howes from School of Greatness.
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You ve heard him here before, you ve heard me over there, maybe even found us through there.
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We re gonna talk about being a lifestyle entrepreneur and the eight areas of focus and continual improvement, creating a vision, adversity into advantage, hustle, positive habits, and more.
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So enjoy this one with Lewis Howes.
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Tell us what you do in one sentence.
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I am a lifestyle entrepreneur, but I also live the life of my dreams and inspire others to do the same.
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overused these days because it sounds really good.
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Everybody s like, wow, entrepreneur lifestyle.
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I want both of those things.
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Exactly.
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I think the reason I started saying it was because it was hard to really explain everything I do.
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And I mean, similar to you, we ve got so much different things going on as entrepreneurs.
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We ve got different product launches, books, DVDs, events, coaching, all these different things that are happening, sponsorship deals.
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that we re running, that it s hard to be like, well, I m a writer, and I m a content creator, and I m a podcaster, and I do this, and I do TV.
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So I just say that I m a lifestyle entrepreneur to kind of pique the curiosity for people, but really what that means for me, the essence of it, is I create the lifestyle that I want to have on a day-to-day basis, and then I build my business and my income around my lifestyle, as opposed to getting a career and a business, and then building my lifestyle around that.
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That makes sense and I talk about this somewhat on the show because I m not a lifestyle entrepreneur.
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I guess I tried to come up with a cool alternative term and I think it s legacy business where it s like this is going to outlast me.
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I m probably going to give it to my kids if they are.
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remotely as talented as myself.
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But also, there s a whole team here and stuff like that, and I work too much, so I can t possibly get away with calling myself a lifestyle entrepreneur.
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But I enjoy that path.
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However, when I m 40 or whatever, and I ve got kids, I m gonna flip the switch a little bit and go, no, I would rather go to my kid s soccer game than
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work till 11 p.m.
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and not be able to get up early and da-da-da.
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And that s why I m investing so much into it now.
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And I like the lifestyle entrepreneur lifestyle, especially, because you re a young single dude, it s not a good time to work really hard on something you don t love, because that would be a huge waste of your time.
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And you ve also got a lot of things going on, and I ll let you tell us about those, too.
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So I like the lifestyle aspect, because you wouldn t be able to focus on so many different avenues that you enjoy if you were really nose-first into writing this book that you did, for example, all the time.
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So tell us what the other areas of your life are, because I think a lot of people think lifestyle entrepreneur and they think you re on the beach with a laptop and you drink all day.
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Well, that might be for some people when they put on Twitter that they re a lifestyle entrepreneur or something.
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For me, it means really spending quality time with the people that I care about, that I love.
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That means my family, my friends, spending time, you know, making sure that I attract the right people on my team for my business so that my team fulfills me as well and we have fun together.
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And also, it means taking care of my health.
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So for me, it s designing the life that I want to have on a day-to-day basis that s working out, that s being fit, that s spending time with my friends and family, that s
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going out to good restaurants and having fun.
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That s training for an Olympic sport that I play called team handball and I m on the USA national team.
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So it kind of evolves and changes based on the season that I m in in life.
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But it s really having the flexibility to do what I want when I want and spend the quality time with people that I care about the most.
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But, you know, for my business, we re constantly creating different things, products online, events next year.
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You know, this book is taking up a lot of my time right now.
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But it s, it s all around the basis of do I love doing the thing that I m doing right now?
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And if not, why am I doing it?
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And constantly asking myself that question.
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And the book that you ve written, tell us about that because I assume that that stems from you telling other people and teaching other people how to create similar lifestyle businesses or similar lifestyles in general and giving them the courage to be great.
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Yeah, for me, the book is called The School of Greatness, and the podcast, I ve interviewed a lot of the successful people that you have, and some different people.
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And the common themes I found were that there were eight principles that they all pretty much followed, some more than others, some that didn t have every principle.
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But the eight common themes are things that I found, and I said, this is what I did in my sports life, and this is what I did when I transitioned to business, and this is what I ve done in my community and with my family.
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I just wanted to create something that was tangible for people to pick up that they could go through and have actionable exercises To improve on each principle in their life so they could get to the next level and greatness can look different for everyone It doesn t have to be making billions of dollars or being a CEO or something like that It can literally be being the mom who s got two kids that just hasn t been satisfied with her marriage or her relationships with her kids and wants to
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find her identity again, wants to do something on the side where she s giving back in a bigger way and has a deeper relationship with her family.
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It can be the person who s making six figures who isn t satisfied and wants to make it to seven figures.
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It s all about getting to that next level and the eight principles on how to make that happen.
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Well, good.
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I like eight principles because often people go,
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So just put yourself out, that s my favorite piece of bad advice.
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Put yourself out there or go for it.
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Take action, hustle, all these overused terms.
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So breaking it down into eight principles is actually pretty important because I think it s really easy to hustle, or to take action to hustle, to put yourself out there in one area and then wake up and go, crap, I followed my passion, I hustled, I put myself out there and I hate my life so much, I don t even know why I did it.
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Yeah, and there s a lot of really rich, unhappy, unhealthy people who have horrible relationships where they put all their hustle and energy into making a lot of money because that s where they feel like they re going to get their value, their worth or be successful.
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But then no one likes to hang out with them.
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They re 100 pounds overweight and they re miserable.
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And you know, James Altucher is a great example.
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He made all his money and then lost it like 50 different times, made millions and lost it and was just unhappy.
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And I think it s because when we focus on one thing too much, and we don t have at least a handle on the other areas of our lives, then we kind of get out of balance and our life gets out of balance.
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The first thing when I interview and I m sure you could, you could agree with all these, I would think the first thing when we interview the most inspiring people in the world
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There s something they all have in common.
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No one got to being the Olympic gold medalist in any event or building a billion-dollar company by accident.
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They all had a very clear, powerful vision.
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And that may seem very basic or, yeah, I understand you have to have a vision, but it s so true.
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Most of us, we don t dream.
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Anymore we have so much going on in our heads so much happening in our lives so much TV and noise and media and chatter and phones constantly texting and popping up social media We don t take the time to dream and you know, this may seem sound like cliche and kind of lame or whatever but you know Martin Luther King when he said I have a dream and
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he had this powerful vision for decades, like his whole life, he had this dream and this vision.
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And it s not just like one day he woke up and said, Oh, let s change the world and, and stop, stop the inhumanity that s happening between white and black.
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He didn t just like one day, stand up on the podium and give that speech.
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He dreamt about that.
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He had a clear vision for decades to make that happen.
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And then it took
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took and followed up with the action for decades as well.
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It s the same thing with great athletes.
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They have very clear visions and dreams.
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When I was a kid, I dreamed to be a pro athlete and I took action for two decades to make it happen.
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I think about the presidents of the United States.
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They were five or 10 years old and said, one day I want to be president United States.
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And it took 40 more years for it to happen.
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And 40 years of a game plan of taking action of sacrificing and following through.
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And the vision is the first key to greatness.
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Again, if you re the mom who wants to have a better life with her kids or a family, you got to have a clear vision of what that looks like first before you can have it.
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So that s the first thing, is creating a powerful vision.
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The second thing, when we have a big dream, we have huge dreams and a big vision, what do you think happens along the way when we have an enormous dream that seems unattainable?
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Yeah, if you re committed to that vision, you re gonna end up, people are gonna ask you about it, and then what s gonna happen is they re gonna tell you to be more realistic, or they re gonna tell you, well, that s great, but in the meantime, why don t you get a regular job?
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Exactly, exactly, and the thing that the biggest leaders and most successful people in the world face is that adversity.
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They face people saying, well, it s not possible, or it s not realistic, or even if they have all the support in the world,
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They re you know athletes get injured their setbacks.
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There s you get traded There s things that don t happen you lose for years and years and years and you get embarrassed until you get to the moment where you can Finally have a chance of getting that dream and then there s more heartache and more challenges So the bigger the dream the bigger the adversity to overcome so the greatest minds in the world the greatest leaders learn how to
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turn their adversity into their advantage, they learn how to embrace the breakdown for breakthrough.
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And a lot of people don t know how to do that.
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They don t know how to once they get a setback, or they get fired, or their company goes under, they go bankrupt, they kind of just say, Well, I failed, I don t want to go after it again.
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And their failures become bigger than their vision, as opposed to their vision, staying true to who they are.
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So learning to turn that adversity into your advantage.
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And the third principle of greatness is developing a champion s mindset, so that you can overcome those challenges that come your way for years and years and years, because it s not going to get easier.
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The dream, the bigger the dream, the more obstacles in your way, it s not just gonna
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Unfold easy for you and and that s not a good story.
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Anyways, if it was easy No one would be able to relate to you in the world, right?
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You ve got to be able to go through some challenges to achieve great things Otherwise, it s not gonna be worth it If it just like opens up and the doors are easy for you to walk through so developing a champion s mindset And this is something that I learned from my interview with you and I interviewed you on my podcast it s really that mindset of belief and
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And you guys talk about this all the time of building confidence.
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But it s so true.
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You know, when I think about athletes, when they win a big game, or a playoff game or the Super Bowl or something, the person they interview usually says one of two things.
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One, I give all the glory to God.
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He gives me all the power through Him.
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I m powerful because of my belief in God.
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And they have this, you know, belief that God gives all the power and glory through them.
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Or they have the Muhammad Ali, Floyd Mayweather effect where they say, I am the greatest.
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I am the greatest in the world.
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I trained my ass off for this.
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I knew I would win.
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I knew these people were weak.
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They were below me, beneath me.
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No one can stop me.
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It s all about I, I, I. Either way, the answers have a strong belief in something.
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And you can go either way and have a belief that the energy or source God is giving you the energy or that you re the one who worked your butt off and did and it s your talents and your gifts to make you great.
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But either way, if you don t have that, and you re questioning yourself at all, or you re questioning
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the universe God who s giving you the gifts, then you re questioning your greatness.
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And you re not going to be number one, you re not going to achieve your dreams and your goals.
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So how do we develop that mindset of belief and confidence?
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And, you know, people who are listening to your podcast, are constantly reminded of how to do that, because I know you are constantly sharing that advice.
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And I remember the episode we did, you shared some great tips that I d never even heard of, you were like, one way to build confidence on a daily basis is literally practicing when you walk through a door.
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You smile and you put your shoulders back and you take a deep breath and you walk through with passion and energy to every doorway, like you re practicing going into a room full of people.
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And I thought that was like a great practical example of how to be more confident and practice confidence in your daily life.
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You know, you can still be humble and extremely confident at the same time and be gracious and grateful while you re achieving greatness.
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So you don t have to have this, I m the greatest attitude and energy.
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And that s probably not the best way to connect with people throughout life anyways.
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But you still have to have that unwavering confidence and belief in yourself and do the work to know that you ve got the chops to back up whatever your dream is.
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So that s number three is developing the champion s mindset.
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So I definitely understand that.
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I completely agree with all that.
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One question I have for you, which is the inevitable, I guess, nay-saying, I hate the term haters and I refuse to use it, but the nay-saying of like, well, why don t you get a real job, or oh, that s a nice vision, or oh, you can t, maybe more blatant, you can t do that, or you shouldn t plan on that.
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How do we insulate ourselves from
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naysayers from people who detract from our vision whether they re doing it to protect us from Ourselves in their own mind or whether they re doing it because it makes them feel bad about themselves How do we insulate ourselves from that without isolating ourselves from our family and friends?
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Hmm, you know, it s tricky and I think you ve got to learn to dance with this But really you want to make sure you re surrounding yourself with people that support you that lift you up not that bring you down even if you have the craziest dream in the world and
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You know, maybe there is some reality check that you need to have, you know, maybe for like, I want to build a house on Mars in five years.
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It s probably not going to happen.
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You know, anything is possible, but that s probably not the most realistic thing.
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But if you re like, we want to go to Mars one day or something, we want to land there, whatever it is.
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Then okay, then what are the steps that you need to get there?
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People are still going to say, well, it s not possible.
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It s crazy or this and that.
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You want to surround yourself with people that lift you up though.
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I mean, it s challenging because a lot of the times it is family that holds people back and that is the naysayers that doesn t want their siblings or their kids to go out and get hurt because they want to protect you.
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But that s why you have podcasts like The Art of Charm and other podcasts and books and mentors and people that can support you, even if you re not around them or surrounded by them in person.
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You want to try to surround yourself with friends who lift you up, who support you, that inspire you to go for your dreams.
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And what I would do is I would challenge your family or friends who aren t supportive and say, listen,
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I appreciate you looking out for me.
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I appreciate you wanting to have my back and not wanting me to be hurt.
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But this is this is what inspires me.
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This is what fills me up.
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And if I don t go for my dreams, then what am I living for?
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And my request to you is to be supportive and to help me come up with a game plan and have my back when I m going after it.
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But also make sure I m healthy at the same time and taking care of other parts of my life because that s where I do want your support so I would have that conversation and It may go well It may not and you have to understand like okay if these people aren t supporting me the way I need to be supported then maybe I just spend less time with them or I don t talk about my dreams with them and I talk about it with people who do support me
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Now back to Lewis Howes.
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Yeah, I think that s interesting.
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A lot of people ask, what if the naysayers are my own family?
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And if it s your girlfriend or something like that, then watch out, because this is your life partner.
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You know what I mean?
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But if it s your mom, you can t really ditch your mom, but you might say, I m not going to talk about my business plans with my mom or my dad, who don t understand.
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you know, are gonna stress me out, or are gonna spend a lot of time arguing about what s right and what s wrong, you ll either succeed or you won t, and you don t need to be worried about them saying, I told you so, or for them resenting you for your success, and hey, once you accomplish something, you tell them, they ll be proud.
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They don t need to know before that.
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Exactly.
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Yep.
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That s right.
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It s about being selective with the audience, right?
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That s it I ve lost a lot of friends from high school to college to you know, my football days I ve had to distance myself from a lot of friends who became negative who became naysayers who You know also just weren t really friendly when I would try to leave the pack and do something outside of like our friends you know what everyone else was doing if I tried to
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go beyond and achieve my dreams where they were staying small, a lot of them really weren t supportive.
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And it s tough.
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I had to say goodbye to a lot of them and just didn t talk to a lot of them for years.
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And then some of them came back around and said, you know what, I m really sorry.
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And I want more for my life.
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And I see what you re doing.
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You know, can you help me out?
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I ve had friends do that where it s been, okay, cool.
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Now you re ready to live at the level that I want to live at.
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And so we can hang out again.
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And I m happy to support you.
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But you got to cut people off sometimes.
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Yeah, it can be tough.
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If it s your partner, cut them off.
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If it s your parents, can t really do that, shouldn t really do that, unless it gets extreme.
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If they re actively sabotaging you, then there are bounds for everybody.
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Here s the thing.
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It s challenging, but you always want to be leveling yourself up to people that inspire you, and I think that we have an unfair advantage, Jordan, because we get to…
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Interview some of the most inspiring people in the world and build friendships and relationships with them because of our platform and our podcast and for me I feel like it raises my vibration and raises my game when I do that because now they re in I m in their circle I hang out with their friends now, you know I m like one degree away from Oprah and the president and it s like because I ve got those relationships with people who are friends with them who hang out with them and It s just inspiring me to get to that next level.
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So sometimes we need to
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Constantly reevaluate our friendships and where we re spending our time and I m sure you ve quoted this a billion times But I think Jim Rohn said that you know You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with so we ve got to constantly be aware of that Yes, absolutely When we do find adversity, how can we turn that into an advantage?
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Yeah, you know, it s really developing that champions mindset what we talked about the adversity is
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our story.
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And it s the things that have not happened to us, but we look at it for happening for us.
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That s when we can embrace the adversity and move forward.
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And you know, we ve all faced some type of challenges in our lives, whether it s our parents got divorced, or we were sexually abused or raved, or we, you know, got kicked out of high school, or we went to jail or whatever it may be, we ve all faced something.
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It may not be the type of
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dramatic experiences that someone in a third world country who was an orphan, who never had food, who was like, had to sell himself for sex to get just to survive.
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It may not be as extreme as something like that, when you think about it, but we ve all faced some type of emotional or physical or mental trauma.
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That is a huge deal to us.
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It may not be the same as some other people, but it s still a big deal for us that holds us back and creates challenges for us.
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And when we learn to not let that hold us back, but move us forward and have that be part of our story, that s when we can embrace it.
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So for example, I grew up always in the special needs class.
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I always had a tutor and I was with the three other kids who were in wheelchairs, learning how to read and write pretty much through high school.
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And I always felt embarrassed by my lack of intelligence, my lack of
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Remembering things in school my lack of reading and writing and it was a struggle man It was like an inner battle constantly because I wanted to be accepted by my peers the cool kids who were smart And I never felt like I was this is the short bus podcast with Lewis house Exactly for years.
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It held me back.
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But when I started to I
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acknowledge the skills that I did have and the gifts that I did had, which was being a great athlete, and then saying, Okay, well, I m not good at school.
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So let me try to connect with people in a different way.
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Let me try to learn more about what makes them tick.
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And let me learn ways that we can build a deeper, intimate relationship.
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When I learned how to communicate and be vulnerable, and connect with people, I realized that it was such a powerful skill is probably 10 times or 100 times more important than
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learning how to read and write and know how to do long division in math.
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And that s what my story has been.
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Okay, I wasn t great at these things.
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So I learned how to embrace other talents and gifts, which was my athletics, and being able to connect with people at all walks of life from, you know, a teenager that
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is, you know, was sexually abused and couldn t read and write to a billionaire that I have on a podcast as well.
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I feel like I ve been able to connect and relate to people of all walks of life, which has given me the platform and the opportunities that I ve had, not because I was smart in school.
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So learning to embrace our adversities and use it for our story to move us forward as opposed to holding us back, that s the key.
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Yeah, what if we haven t had
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That kind of adversity or the experience to be able to relate to other people, you know, it sounds like a luxury, but now it sounds like a disadvantage not to have gone through some ish.
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Right, right.
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Well, the thing is, you know, the bigger the dream you have, if you re going to go and do a nine to five job and.
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and play it safe and not challenge yourself, then you re probably not going to have much adversity.
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If you ve got a big dream, or you want to get to any next level in your life, whether you re want to lose 20 pounds to getting a raise to starting your own company,
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There is going to be challenges that come your way, whether you like it or not.
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It s not just going to be smooth sailing.
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So it doesn t matter if you re trying to get to just the next level or to the biggest level in your life.
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It s going to happen.
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If you play it safe, you re probably not going to have much adversity.
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You know, things will be easy, except for the fact that you won t be fully fulfilled living your dreams.
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Right.
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You end up plateauing.
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Exactly.
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And things like that.
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Well, I want to clarify a lot of people who are doing nine-to-fives are not necessarily playing it safe Maybe they got kids and that s their dream.
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Like maybe that s their thing.
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Of course, that s completely fine Yeah, the next level and whatever that looks like to you in your life Yeah, I don t want people to think well if you have a nine-to-five Lewis and I think you re a loser secretly It s not the case
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No, I mean, listen, everyone that works with me has a nine to five, you know, and my family has a nine to five, my friends do.
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So it s not like it s bad.
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It s just, are you living your dream?
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So if, if your job isn t fulfilling you, then are you really living your dream?
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And are you challenging yourself to find ways to make it more fun and find ways to find the right job for yourself, whether it s a nine to five or not?
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Are you spending the time that fulfills you and makes a difference in what you re doing?
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That s what I think we should be focusing on.
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Absolutely, excellent.
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And the fourth principle is the one that we ve overused the word a lot in our society lately, at least in the entrepreneurial world, and that s hustle.
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And originally, the book I was gonna write was gonna be called Hustle.
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Thank you for not calling it that, by the way.
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I would be like, I d like to have you on the show, but I can t in good conscience have you come on set.
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It s funny, because my agent was like, I will not
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publish a book with the word hustle on the cover.
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So I was like, okay, and it s funny because we have a mutual friend, I won t say his name here, who s got a book coming out called hustle about six months after mine comes out.
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And I just thought it was funny.
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The fourth principle is about developing hustle.
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And for me, this has been the thing that, in my mind has been the difference maker to getting to where I was in sports, but also in business.
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And it s the I think, what s her name, Angela,
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Some psychologist that did a big TED talk, her name s slipping me right now, she talked about the number one differentiator from the most successful people in the world and everyone else is a thing called grit.
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And in my mind, that s essentially hustle.
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The way she explains it is like the person who s willing to do whatever it takes to persevere,
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Degrit the grunt work to hard work It s like on the basketball court the person who is willing to dive to save the loose ball from going out of bounds Made the difference from you getting that extra point you needed and not it s the ones that are willing to do that hustle and slide on the court and get some splinters who really
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can sustain that throughout time, you re gonna get your results you want.
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And this is something that a lot of people don t do.
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They get comfortable, whether it s in their jobs or whether it s their own business, they get comfortable and that keeps them where they re at, that keeps them at that plateau as opposed to constantly growing.
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And I think unless we re not growing, then we re slowly dying.
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And it doesn t mean you have to be constantly growing in every area of your life, but
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That area of your life you re not growing in, it s gonna stay stagnant and start to go down if you don t put energy towards it.
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So for me, hustle is a key component of greatness because, again, no great athlete, great leader, president, CEO, Mother Teresa hustled, right?
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She showed up when other people didn t wanna show up.
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She did the work when other people didn t wanna do it to give back and live a life of service.
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So doing whatever it takes
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Obviously, within reason, you don t want to just hurt yourself over time.
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You don t want to never sleep or something.
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You want to make sure you have a balance.
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But putting in the hard work when you don t want to do the hard work, that s what s going to make the difference in whatever it is you re focusing on.
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So have that hustle.
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That ll get you to the next level.
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Right, that discipline only counts when you need it, right?
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Like it doesn t matter if you re motivated to go to the gym most of the time, that s not when the motivation actually matters.
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It s when you wake up and it s raining outside and you don t feel like going anywhere that the discipline to get up and go actually matters.
3
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Exactly.
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When our podcast I did with you on my show was so powerful, one of the most popular ones, and you said something, something about your training to your performance.
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Ah yeah, you don t, Dick Marcinko or whatever from the red team said, you don t rise to the level of your expectations, you default to the level of your training.
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Yes, that s such a powerful message.
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And the training means showing up every single day, like it s game day and practicing like you re performing, whether it s you re giving a business presentation, whether it s, you know, you re
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It s like doing a job interview.
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It s like showing up and practicing every day, preparing every day like it s game day.
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So when game day comes around, it s just like another day.
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It s not a big deal.
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You don t have to get stressed out or worried about it.
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So that s what it s all about, developing that hustle.
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create the hustle habit?
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How do we cultivate that if we don t have it?
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If we find ourselves being like, well, I get motivated for a minute and then I kind of lose it, or little speed bumps kill my motivation, or some common issue like that.
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Well, the thing is, people don t hustle because their vision isn t powerful enough.
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and they re not committed to their vision.
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If you ve got a powerful vision, you always default back to your vision.
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Okay, I don t feel like doing this today, but why did I want to do it in the first place?
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Oh, it s because I want to make sure that every kid is fed and there s no hunger in the world.
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That s why I m on a mission to do this, because I have something so powerful, my fuel, my vision is so powerful that it keeps me motivated throughout this.
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If you re not hungry enough for it,
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then you don t have a big enough why.
3
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Simon Sinek says, start with why, and most people just start with, oh, I wanna be rich, or I wanna be famous.
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But that s not a strong enough why that s gonna sustain over all the adversity and over all the long nights and early mornings of hustling.
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It s not gonna sustain if it s just to make money.
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Then you ll get broke, you ll be miserable, you ll be fat, you ll have horrible relationships.
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So you ve gotta have a powerful vision with a strong why.
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And I go over exercises at the end of each chapter on how to really
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maximize this, how to really craft a clear vision, even if you have no clue what you want or what you re passionate about, we really help you figure that out.
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Really setting a guide map for yourself and creating a plan for each one of your visions and what you want to do and sticking to that throughout that period of time.
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But the hustle, if you re not motivated, you usually don t have a strong enough why, so you need to reconnect to your vision and see if it s a strong enough why for you to move forward.
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Excellent.
3
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All right.
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The fifth principle is, and I don t actually know a lot of people talk about this in any type of like personal development or success principles book.
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Like, I don t even know if this is really mentioned, but for me, it s so obvious is mastering your body.
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if our health is not in order if our health is not in alignment to our vision and we allow ourselves to just get obese and overweight and Not sleep and not eat.
3
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Well, then our minds are not going to have the energy Our body is not gonna have the energy and the focus to achieve our visions So mastering your body is one of the key components to greatness And I think Richard Branson who s you know, one of the most successful entrepreneurs and wealthiest people in the world
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Someone asked him, what s the key to, you know, something like being successful in business or something like that question.
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And he said, working out, you know, your health and working out is the key to success in business.
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Because think about if you just focus only on working, you re on the computer, you re on the phone all day, you re, you re building relationships, you re doing deals, but you don t take time to take care of yourself.
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You are not going to have the energy to be at the top of your game and sustain it for years and years to come if you re not mastering your body.
3
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Even the President of the United States takes time, who is running the biggest, most successful country in the world, even he takes time to run and to play basketball and to work on his body, and he s in shape.
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He s not overweight.
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If he was overweight, he d be lethargic.
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He wouldn t be able to make decisions.
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and the country and the world might be at stake if he was not in shape.
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Like he may make one wrong mistake that could ruin the lives of millions of people because he stays healthy.
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So it s about mastering your body.
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It doesn t mean you have to have a six-pack.
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It doesn t mean anything like that.
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You don t have to train yourself to death every single day.
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It s about just mastering your body so that you have the energy to go after your vision.
3
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Yeah, this makes a lot of sense just from my own personal experience.
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If I get up and I feel like crap, which happens more when I m not taking care of my body, the performances on the show suffer, I get snippy during email, I m dealing with my team with a little bit shorter patients, I need more sleep because I m just not getting quality sleep probably, probably among other reasons.
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I start eating poorly, get cranky, I mean there s a million, it s sort of a downward spiral.
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Even working out for like 15,
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25 minutes a day or going for like a long bike ride, or a short bike ride for that matter, will help tremendously in just kind of doing it.
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And I think a lot of people try to substitute exercise with things like coffee and maybe even booze.
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They put a Band-Aid on it.
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They put a Band-Aid on it, right, exactly.
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Whereas the effects of exercise and things like that are cumulative, the effects of things like booze are also cumulative in the other direction.
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Alright, back to Lewis Howes.
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Yeah, and I can t really say there s not a one-size-fits-all for mastering your health and your body and working out.
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You ve really got to figure out the right plan for you and some people that s working out five days a week, some people that s just running, some people that s lifting, some people that s eating vegan, some people that s not.
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So you ve got to really discover what that is.
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I ve got exercises and plans and different guides to show you how to do this to master your body yourself.
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But really, it takes some trial and error to figure out what works best for you.
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And also, I don t do the same thing every day my whole life.
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I m constantly mixing it up.
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I m constantly doing things for me that are fun when I get to work out and get to move my body.
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So I m playing pickup basketball a lot.
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I m hiking in the hills.
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I m going in the ocean I m doing things that I m playing frisbee golf, you know I m doing things that are fun activity hobbies as well that keep me active and it s not just Pounding myself to death in the gym, although I do do that from time to time But it s about figuring out what works for you and constantly being open to evolving and growing as we grow and evolve Excellent.
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Yes
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So that s the fifth principle of greatness.
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The sixth principle, which you mentioned previously, is practicing positive habits.
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You know how important this is.
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Everyone you interview who s at the top of their game all has some type of ritual or habits that they follow.
3
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I read articles constantly about the richest people, the wealthiest people in the world, the habits of the wealthiest people in the world and what they do differently than everyone else.
3
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They get up a little bit earlier than everyone else.
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They typically read in the morning.
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Most of them read in the morning, 30 to 60 minutes a day.
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Most of them work out in the morning.
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Most of them have a healthy breakfast or a green juice or a smoothie.
3
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There s these themes you see from the most successful, richest people in the world, the greatest athletes in the world, the greatest thinkers.
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They have habits.
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They don t just wake up and say, What am I going to do today?
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They know what they re going to do, because they have a clear vision.
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And they have only a certain amount of time that everyone else has in the world.
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We got 24 hours a day.
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And so they schedule they map out their entire days.
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It s not just by accident, like what am I going to do
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The first hour, they know what they re gonna do.
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They have an itinerary for their day to achieve their vision.
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Then throughout the day, they have an itinerary of what they do.
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They take a 30-minute break and connect with their family.
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They go to the gym at a certain time.
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Whatever it may be, they follow a routine throughout the day that sets them up to win.
4
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So they don t have to think and use their willpower every day to create something.
4
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They already have a map.
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laid out for them and that s important to have positive habits and to figure out what those are for you and some of them may change over time but I highly recommend you create rituals and habits in your life.
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Yeah habit is I would say probably one of the most talked about topics on our show because it s really the only way to
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guarantee continued performance in a certain area.
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It goes back to kind of our motivation only counts when you need it thing.
4
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You re always creating good habits or bad habits.
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People always think of habit as a good thing or a nasty thing like smoking.
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What we don t realize is that inaction is also a habit.
4
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You know, getting up and making excuses for why you don t have time to go to the gym, that s a habit too.
4
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Yes, doing nothing is a habit.
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Doing nothing is a habit.
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See, you actually have to create good habits to replace the lack of habit, which is actually a habit in itself.
4
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It s disguised as a lack of habit, but really it s just a habit that doesn t do anything.
4
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Exactly.
4
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And that s a really big problem for people that want to be high performers, because they think, oh, I can create that habit later, or I m working on it.
4
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But really, if you re not putting in the good effort, you re just putting in bad effort.
4
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It just doesn t look like effort.
4
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brings everything back to sports for me because that s where I learned the foundation of these principles is because, you know, like you said, we showed up every day to practice.
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It s not like I showed up once a week to practice and thought I was going to be great.
4
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We showed up every single day.
4
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Then every moment was intentional for what we wanted to create.
4
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It was,
4
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striving to be perfect in everything we could do and giving our best to reach that.
4
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It will never be perfect, but it s striving to be it and practicing to follow through in the perfect way and practicing the dribble the perfect way and practicing everything with clear intentions for the vision we want to achieve.
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And without practicing that way,
4
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the default of our training, you know, without practicing with those habits, we would never be able to achieve anything great when it mattered the most.
4
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Perfect.
4
SPEAKER_01
So that s principle number six.
4
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Do you feel like the Art of Charm would make as much money, impact the amount of people, reach the reach that you have on the podcast and your site and inspire millions of people around the world if it was just you?
4
SPEAKER_00
Definitely not yeah, it goes without saying I was really tempted to mess with you and be like yeah totally But yeah, there s no way.
4
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I mean it s None of us have enough hours in the day, and there s 13 of us working here.
4
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Yeah, exactly exactly so principle number seven is building a winning team and You cannot achieve greatness alone
4
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It s impossible to be great alone because we need people throughout our entire life.
4
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The first two years of our lives, we would not be able to survive without a winning team around us, feeding us, teaching us, loving us, and showing us how to walk.
4
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We would be dead.
4
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Every step along the way, there has been a team that has supported us and served us to help us grow and get to the next level and achieve our dreams and our visions.
4
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And specifically in companies,
4
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It s hard to do anything great on your own in a company.
4
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You ve got to be able to learn how to work with other people to support you.
4
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Even if you just had your own podcast and you were trying to get interviews, you d still have to build a winning team of guests to come on and to believe in you, to do it with you.
4
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And even if you re an individual, an athlete, let s say you re a tennis player in an individual sport.
4
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The individual probably has 50 people around him in a year-to-year basis working with him, whether that s a sports psychologist, a trainer, five different coaches that are working on his swing or her swing, a lifting coach, a breathing coach, all these different things to support that individual athlete get to the next level.
4
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And it s all about that winning team, who you surround yourself with.
4
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At any moment, your friends is your winning team or could bring you down.
4
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So are you surrounding yourself with those winning players, your family, your friends, your career, your business?
4
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That s what separates those great companies from just good companies, is that they have A-team players, winning players, and they learn to work together.
4
SPEAKER_00
Perfect.
4
SPEAKER_00
The problem with building a winning team is it s friggin  hard.
4
SPEAKER_00
Really hard, man.
4
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it sounds really good to be like, and I m not crappin  on your advice, it s great advice, build a winning team, but man, I ll tell ya, that s one of the biggest challenges, not only finding good people and managing to recruit them, but not hiring crappy people because you don t have the money at that time, or you re having trouble finding them, you need somebody in the interim, and this is the person that will do a $100,000 job for 40 grand a year.
4
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
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or whatever.
4
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It s, it s the sister.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
4
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And then you end up working with your friends, you end up working with family, even if they re not the right fit for the job.
4
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And then what happens is, you inevitably have to replace them as you grow if you re lucky enough to actually succeed.
4
SPEAKER_00
And then then the butthurt comes in.
4
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You know, obviously turning your adversity to your advantage when adversity comes your way, how are you going to learn from it?
4
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How are you going to grow from it?
4
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Are you going to let it hold you back or are you going to say, okay, you know what?
4
SPEAKER_01
That was a great lesson and I m not going to beat myself up or blame anyone.
4
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I m going to take the responsibility and learn from this moment and hire someone on to help me find the right people.
4
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If I can t do it myself, whatever it may be, you ve got to learn to adjust and evolve and flex your style.
4
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And that s why it s valuable to learn how to communicate with people.
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Throughout all of this you ve got to really learn how to master communication with other people you guys teach this in a powerful way how to communicate with others and How to be more confident how to build networking skills things like that because that s what s going to attract the winning team And it s interesting.
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I had a guy named Matt Matthew Hussey On my podcast, you know him.
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Yeah, I do.
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I ve known for a really really long time now.
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He s like a he s blown up blown up, dude Yeah, dating Russian.
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Yeah
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It s interesting.
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He said something to me.
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We actually did like a periscope session together a couple weeks ago here in LA and
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I was like, okay, give your final tip for finding the perfect partner.
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If you re in a relationship or marriage, how do you find the perfect partner?
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What s the final tip?
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And he goes, okay, you want to find the perfect person to basically be married to or to be on your relationship team, create a list of all the attributes and everything you want out of that partner.
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Create a list and write them all down of everything you want, and then go be those things yourself.
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I was like, oh, that is freaking powerful.
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So if you want to attract a winning team, you put a building winning team, think about all the characteristics you want from those players.
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I m talking about the qualities of the people, maybe you can t, you know, do coding or design.
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That s not what you re looking for.
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But the qualities of the people you want on your winning team, and then write a list out of those qualities and make sure you re being those first.
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Make sure you re living your word, make sure you re living in integrity, you ve got high energy, you re positive, you re fun to be around, you have great ideas.
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Make sure you practice those first and you become those.
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And then it s easier to attract those people to join your team, whether you re an athlete, you re an entrepreneur, you re finding someone in your partnership as a relationship, but become the things you want from others.
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You know what, I love that bit of advice, because a lot of people ask, what do I need to do to attract the right people?
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What do I need to do to attract the right partner?
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And being those things yourself is probably the only place to start.
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It s not a foolproof recipe, because you can still screen in idiots if your picker is bad.
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Right?
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Exactly.
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But becoming worthy of what you want, deserving what you want, is a really good place to start.
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That s it.
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That s it.
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So building winning team, that s the seventh principle and the final eighth principle in the school of greatness.
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So the thing that started making a lot of sense for me, you know, for my whole childhood to, you know, early twenties, I was very driven by my own personal success.
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I wanted to achieve mostly to prove to others that I was worthy and to prove that others that I was good enough and, you know, improve to myself.
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And it came from a place of selfishness, right?
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I just wanted to prove people wrong.
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And I wanted to be right.
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And I wanted it to be about me so I could feel worthy.
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That was really not serving me at all.
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I was really lonely, you know, to achieve my biggest dreams, but feel so empty and lonely afterwards.
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And I didn t know why I was like, why am I feeling this way?
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And it wasn t until I got into my later in my 20s and hourly 30s that I realized that, you know, it s not all about me and my victories and my achievements.
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Life is about the rest of the world and how our gifts and our talents and what we create, how it impacts the rest of the world.
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And as I was
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transitioning from playing arena football into the business world and trying to figure out how do you make money, a lot of this theme kept coming up from people who are making a lot of money.
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and from people on my podcast, but even before, the theme of giving money away constantly came up.
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And I think I read a book early on called The Richest Man in Babylon or something like that.
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I can t remember the name of this book.
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And it talked about the richest person in the world
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in this book, it was like a fable, always gave away like half of the money he brought in.
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And he always gave it back to the community or to family and friends.
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And he gave it back to causes that he believed in.
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And that s what made him the richest man in the world is by giving back
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The more people I interviewed who were wealthy had that same mindset.
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They were like, I constantly give back and support causes and give my money away.
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They re not giving all of it away, but they re constantly giving back.
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The more and more I started to do this in my life, giving money away, giving my time away, giving my talent to serve other people and just showing up.
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as a positive light to people walking down the street, smiling, opening the door for people, paying for people in line at, you know, a sandwich shop or something like that.
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Just being in service and being service created so much more fulfillment in my life than being selfish.
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And it also created a deeper impact in the lives around me.
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And so the eighth principle is learning to live a life of service.
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And
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being service.
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So that means at every moment, you are not just like, Oh, how can I be of service today?
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And let me spend one day a week doing this.
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But no, it s every moment you are being in service.
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That s the people that are on your team.
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It s how can I serve them at the highest level?
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whether it s actually asking them, how can I be of service to you?
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Or you re just thinking, okay, is what they re doing, their system serving them the best?
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Or can we make it better for them?
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It s making sure you smile and give them that attention every single day.
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It s acknowledging people.
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You know, we wait our whole life to be acknowledged.
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We want to be acknowledged so much.
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It s the thing we strive for and want the most.
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A lot of times, a lot of people is what they want the most is acknowledgement.
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And yet we don t do it enough.
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And when we do get it, we re dead.
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And that s when everyone comes out to acknowledge how amazing we were when it s too late.
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Right?
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Yeah.
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Good point.
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Yeah.
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When you don t have the occasion to enjoy it.
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Unfortunately.
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Exactly.
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Really subconsciously comes down to all the things that we re doing all the things we work really hard for is to be seen is to be Acknowledged for our gifts our talents and to have some type of recognition.
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Okay, cool.
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Look what Lewis is up to He s doing something powerful and it s inspiring or it s helpful or it s really cool Whatever it may be, but we don t just do it for ourselves.
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You know, it s not like we just do it for us we do it for others as well and we want to be seen and acknowledged and
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And whether we think it or not, it s part of our being that we want that.
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And yet we never get it.
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At least I would say we never get it.
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But usually most people don t receive it until they re dead.
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And it s a shame.
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And so living a life of service is really acknowledging people through your way of being through serving people, but also through your words.
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So I started bringing on, you know, really a habit of acknowledging my team and my family and my friends.
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I had a girlfriend for a year and a half, we separated a few months ago, but every night I would acknowledge her for the gifts that she brought to the world.
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I would say three things I acknowledge her for every single night before we went to bed.
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And it was just a powerful way to connect and build deeper relationships with people.
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And I highly recommend focusing on living a life of service and acknowledging not only other people, but acknowledging the most important person in the world, which is ourselves.
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The Amazon gods.
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Exactly, exactly.
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School of Greatness on sale now.
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No, seriously, right now, literally.
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It s in our show notes or you can just go to... What s the best place to buy it?
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Amazon?
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Where do the kids buy their books these days?
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Yeah, you can go to Amazon.
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Actually, right now, if you are...
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Heading to Barnes & Noble, if this is the first week you re listening to this podcast when it comes out, I am in the front and center carousel stand.
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It s called the Octagon in Barnes & Noble.
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And anywhere in the U.S., I ll be there front and center, so you can go pick up a copy there, or Amazon.com, just type in the School of Greatness, or greatnessbook.com.
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Insert joke about Barnes & Noble still existing.
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and the octagon being an MMA term, and we re good.
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Thanks so much, man.
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Much appreciated.
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Excellent show.
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Lewis is a good dude to have on because he can talk and, you know, I can stretch out a little bit, throw in an interjection here and there, ask some questions, and we can rock out some great content.
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Don t forget School of Greatness.
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The book title is out now.
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We ll link to that in the show notes, but you can also search for it on Amazon.
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Or if you know what a Barnes & Noble is, you can find it there, too.
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Of course, if you enjoyed this, the show s a fanarchy, which means it s run by you.
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So let us know what you think, and if you have guest ideas for us, we are guests at theartofcharm.com.
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Don t forget to thank Louis on Twitter, we ll have that linked in the show notes.
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I m on Twitter as well, at theartofcharm, lots of stuff there that you won t get on the show, or it s shared on a whim, but I am there, and I do engage with everybody there.
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Bootcamp details, bootcamp.theartofcharm.com.
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Remember, we re sold out a few months in advance, so if you re thinking about it a little bit, get in touch ASAP, get the info from us, plan ahead.
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Subscribe to AOC and iTunes.
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Write us a review.
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I will love you forever.
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It ll make us proud.
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Special thanks to the Jasons for their help in production of the Art of Charm podcast.
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Tell your friends because the greatest compliment you can give us is a referral to someone else either in person or shared on the web.
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Now have a great week and leave everything and everyone better than you found them.
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Thanks for listening to the Art of Charm.
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Get more confidence, relationship skills, life hacks, and everything for the extraordinary man at theartofcharmpodcast.com.