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get ready we re going viral get ready we re going viral
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Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another installment of The Viral Podcast.
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I m your host, Chelsea Lynn.
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And I m your host, Paige Jen.
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And thank you for joining us on another week of helping us take over the world.
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Thank you.
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We appreciate our super spreaders, everyone listening.
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We d be sitting here talking to ourselves if it weren t for you, so we appreciate you guys.
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The super spreads are awesome.
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Just spreading the good word.
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And they probably spread their legs too.
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You have to.
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You know, they have to be.
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If you re super spreaders, you re not only spreading the word, you re spreading your legs.
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Spreading your legs, spreading your butter on your toast.
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I love when all corners of the toast have butter.
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They all have to be spread.
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Butter and toast ain t nothing better.
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It s just, that s a great snack.
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Little cinnamon on it.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Oh, and there s Brett.
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I was about to say, we have Brett joining us and Maggie.
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Hello.
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Maxtie.
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Yeah, Brett, how you doing?
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Really good.
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That s good.
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Yeah.
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How are you?
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I m pretty good.
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Thank you for asking.
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How are you, Maggie?
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I m good today.
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Yeah, everybody s good.
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Brett.
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Brett.
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I m doing good.
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Eating bubble yum.
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Good, good.
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Oh, I didn t set the timer because I almost said eating.
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You said eating bulgum and my brain went eating.
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Did we already swear?
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No, I don t know.
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No, we haven t.
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But I m starting that timer right now, baby.
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I feel like we re all being really nice to each other.
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Yeah, we re being fake.
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If I was a kid, if I was a kid in the 90s, I d be having sexual intercourse with these water wigglers.
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Yeah, I bet they did.
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The little boys.
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How could you not?
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And adults.
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Why did they even make these?
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Just to wiggle.
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We were probably touching so many men s... And then to watch the kids do this.
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Yeah.
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Who made that?
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Freaking P. Diddy, who?
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You guys, I am in a movie called Sweet Dreams, and it is out now on Paramount+.
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So please go watch that and support me and hopefully, you know, I get to be in other movies and stuff.
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It s called Sweet Dreams on Paramount Plus.
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Sweet dreams all made of Chelsea.
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Chelsea.
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And then also, I am not going on tour until the end of the year.
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I m only doing two shows before then in August.
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The first show is August 11th in Halifax.
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Where s that?
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What s it called, Beth?
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Halifax, Nova Scotia.
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Wait, right?
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Where the heck is that located?
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Canada, Halifax, Nova Scotia.
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I m excited, you guys.
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August 11th at the Garrison Fairgrounds, the Great Outdoor Comedy Festival.
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I m opening for Theo Vaughn.
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Theo Vaughn!
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And then August 17th, I m gonna be in Grantville, Pennsylvania at the Hollywood Casino.
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Ginger Billy and I are teaming up for a show.
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You can go to Ticketmaster.com and get those tickets, or you can also go to my website, EatMyTrash.com.
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I m excited for you.
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Thanks, honeys Are both of those gonna be like the biggest?
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Stand-ups you ve done or with the one with Bert Kreischer the one in Nova Nova Scotia is gonna be pretty big I think it s gonna be several thousand It ll be just as big as the Bert Kreischer when I did so that ll be pretty big kind of nervous I want to go so bad to that one.
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Come on.
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I
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Okay.
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Are you going, guys?
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Maggie, you going?
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I m gonna try.
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When is it again?
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August 11th.
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Yeah, I ve never been to Canada.
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Wow.
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Yeah, I think we should go.
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Yeah, I haven t either.
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Ooh.
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I think we should go.
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I ve only been for a couple days.
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I think it ll be fun.
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I ve always wanted to visit that area.
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So, could be fun.
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Yeah.
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It ll be the summer.
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It ll be beautiful.
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Yeah.
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I think we should go.
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And I think if you re listening and you live near there, you should go too.
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People in Canada are so friendly.
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Yeah.
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On every vacation I ve been on and met the nicest people, everyone was from Canada.
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Oh, when we went to Canada for shows, you know, a while back, we loved it.
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It was so cool.
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I can t wait to visit this area.
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Literally always wanted to go.
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So when they asked me if I wanted to do this show, I go, yeah.
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Are you trying to go a week before and just look around?
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I ll probably go a few days before.
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because I have to come back right after the next day I have to come back so a few days before yeah I want to go and look look around so yeah but those are my only two shows before the end of the year so come see me if you re in the area rock trucker of the week I skipped last week so I m picking two this week they are Lindsay Watkins
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And Kasey Lynn!
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Kasey Lynn!
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Thank you guys so much for scrolling and clicking and commenting on our shit, isn t it?
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So Maggie s gonna send you a free t-shirt and we love and appreciate you guys and yeah.
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Yeah, keep commenting if you want a free shirt.
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It s hard to come by free shirts these days.
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Yeah, people aren t giving them out like they used to.
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They re not like everybody kind of wants a free shirt.
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Sure, you know, it almost doesn t matter what the shirt is If it s free, you re gonna wear it like wouldn t you want me to like advertise for you or a market?
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I m like, well, are you gonna say my website and all that and direct them there?
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Hey Brett, what are you talking about?
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But that s not happening
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Brett, you re getting a little too into it.
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I don t even know where you re going with that.
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I was just talking.
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Okay.
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Talking way business.
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Yeah.
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I was talking and it s being recorded.
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Yeah.
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You re talking business, Brett.
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Yeah.
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We re talking just for fun.
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Hey, how do you eat a hamburger?
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Do you go all around the hamburger or just straight through?
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I go around and then I hit the middle part last.
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Dang.
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What about you guys?
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I go, I keep it straight across.
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I have to keep it straight.
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Center, right, left, right, middle, left, left, middle, yeah.
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I gotta keep it even too.
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And you go all the way around that sucker?
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Not like, I ll go around the top, and then I ll hit up the middle dome, and then I ll finish the bottom.
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Okay.
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Dome.
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Dome.
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The middle dome.
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I ll hit up the middle dome.
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What about you, Paige?
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Mmm, I don t eat burgers that much.
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I would say okay a sandwich.
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Uh, I would say cut them in half usually But if you re at a drive-thru and you get one you can t you get a veggie burger, what are you doing?
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Freaking like you guys.
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Yeah.
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Well, we all said something
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I guess like Maggie keep it straight across.
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Yeah, I m not going corner to corner and then the dome.
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Okay, keep it even Y all are cool.
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She probably would like sliders the most cuz then she could hold it with one finger and Yeah, no, no two bots and it s gone, you know chicken minis.
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Yeah, okay I don t like holding big objects when I m like Chipotle burritos are almost too big sometimes for me.
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Mm-hmm
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I hate Chipotle.
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Yeah, I ve always heard Chipotle s not good for you.
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There s always something new coming out.
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If Chipotle came to us and said, we would love to sponsor the podcast.
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We d be like, okay.
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No, and we would love to pay you more than any other sponsor you ve ever had.
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I d go, get the fuck out.
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It wasn t me this time, it wasn t us.
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It wasn t us, it was them.
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We got four more minutes.
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Okay, I m gonna go ahead and say it, I say.
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All right, fuck you, Chipotle.
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Hold on, no, no, no, let s do it, we got four more minutes.
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Well, we already done the deal.
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Listen, everybody calm down.
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I would say, get the fuck out of my face.
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That s how much I hate Chipotle.
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I ll take it.
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I ll take the deal.
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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Let s take it.
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And you do the ad and I ll just sit there and not say a word.
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Yeah.
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Or just fake it and be like, I love it.
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I love the guac.
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That s what everybody else does anyway.
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Chipotle is so good.
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I love it.
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It s my favorite food.
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Yeah.
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I d say it like that.
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Just, yeah.
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Okay.
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Listen, I m sorry I messed up and I said the F word.
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We have three minutes left and I m sorry I did that.
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SPEAKER_03
Should you just cut the timer now?
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Now we need that.
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You can probably bleep it.
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Fuck.
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No.
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We don t do bleeps, Matt.
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No, we don t do bleeps over here.
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as Ben is throwing in blips all over the room.
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Ben, our new editor, he s just in there bleeping nonstop.
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Oh, he s doing great, dude.
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You ll catch a glimpse of him, too.
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Yeah, and Ben, Ben, I know you re listening right now.
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Ben s trying to get that clout.
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Because you re editing.
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People are loving the new edits.
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Oh, yeah.
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And a lot of people in the Rock Truckers group thought it was Biffy.
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Oh, Biffy s doing so good in the edits.
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And I had to be like, listen, brothers, she ain t doing that.
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She s doing the slits edits, but she ain t doing the podcast edit no more.
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And so people were kind of disappointed because they thought it was her, but I said, I got to give credit to Ben.
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So shout out to Ben for editing the pod.
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Shout out to Ben.
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Because of Beth, I already knew how to throw all those edits in there.
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She would have been doing that.
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It s not like overnight.
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She just started doing it.
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Maybe she took an editing class.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
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Look at what I learned.
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Because our editing went from like nothing to normal to hardcore.
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hardcore graphics, but people are loving it.
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We just said, Ben, go for it and make it wild and do whatever you want, and we ve been loving everything he s doing.
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Now, if you re an audio listener and you have no clue what we re talking about, hop on the YouTubes and just take a look.
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He s been killing it.
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Most people that listen to this pod are only audio listeners, so I don t know.
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Make it a little visual.
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Go on and look at the YouTubes.
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See what we got going on over there.
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And just to spike our numbers, we need a little spike for the super spreaders.
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We need our super spreaders to help us out.
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Take over the world.
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Yeah.
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Thanks, guys.
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That s really a testament to you guys, I feel.
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His success is, you know, you guys giving him the freedom to... Yeah, I can see that.
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Yeah, we do give him a lot of freedom.
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Yeah.
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Let freedom ring.
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Let freedom ring.
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Sing a song.
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Sing a freedom song.
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Never heard that one.
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You haven t?
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Uh-uh.
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SPEAKER_01
I heard the very beginning of the Martina McBride song.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s Martina.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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But you went somewhere with it that I ve never been.
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She combines songs sometimes.
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That s a song, Chelsea.
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Look it up.
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We have one minute, you guys, before we can let out for the week our big stress relief, our big fun, our big...
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Hey, guys.
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Tammy here.
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SPEAKER_01
Tammy here.
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Our big relief society.
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Yeah.
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We have 40 seconds.
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Is everyone ready?
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Is everyone listening?
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Are you guys ready to do this?
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Are you embraced?
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I feel like the New York ball s dropping.
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Think of something.
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Think of some stress you have in your life that you just need to give a big F you to.
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Think of someone in your life that maybe you can t say it to, but needs to hear it.
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Everything you ve been holding in for
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20 seconds.
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Since last week.
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Or if your life is great and perfect and you just wanna say it for fun.
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Well guess what, you re gonna say it in about 10 seconds.
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10, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.
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Fuck you!
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Fuck you!
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Fuck you, motherfucker.
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Fuck you, bubble yum.
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Fuck you, Gary upstairs.
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Whoa.
1
Whoa.
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SPEAKER_01
Fuck you, man.
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SPEAKER_01
Fuck you, man.
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SPEAKER_01
Hey, you see this?
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Set on this and rotate, bitch.
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Set and spin, bitch.
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SPEAKER_00
Set and spin, bitch.
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SPEAKER_00
You re at the gym right now, running on the treadmill.
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Fuck you.
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SPEAKER_00
Fuck you.
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And fuck the people next to you.
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And fuck the sweat.
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Man that felt great when people live sweat on the on the chairs ass marks I do that that would be something I would do too, but not while working out just every chair I sat in you yeah, you do believe in snow trails I ve left a couple on my chairs in my house, and I need to wipe my lips are just I
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SPEAKER_02
Steamy.
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SPEAKER_00
Steamy down, yeah, they steam.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, they re warm and steamy.
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SPEAKER_00
Yours is more steam and mine s more cream.
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SPEAKER_01
Yes, steam and cream.
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SPEAKER_01
Nice.
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SPEAKER_01
Steam and cream needs to be a band.
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SPEAKER_01
Steam and cream.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh, cream.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh, gosh.
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SPEAKER_00
It s so good, though.
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SPEAKER_00
Ew.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, not pussy cream, but just eating cream.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, a good cream, that Dentai Fung cream.
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SPEAKER_00
Yes.
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SPEAKER_01
Dentai Fung has some good cream.
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SPEAKER_00
I miss Dentai.
1
SPEAKER_00
I crave Dentai almost every day.
1
SPEAKER_01
I know.
1
SPEAKER_01
Don t make me sad right now thinking about Dentai.
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SPEAKER_01
All this podcast is, is us talking about how hungry we are, where we re eating, what we re craving, what we can t wait to eat after.
1
SPEAKER_00
We need to have a food network almost.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh, my God.
1
SPEAKER_02
I always like it when we plan our next meal while we re eating.
1
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
Uh-huh.
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SPEAKER_01
And we do that a lot.
1
SPEAKER_01
We do that all the time.
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When my dad was here, he asked me what I wanted for dinner at 9 a.m.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah?
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SPEAKER_00
I m like, Dad, I m still finishing breakfast, but I will be thinking, trust me.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, we ll be thinking about this all day and planning it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Mm-hmm.
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SPEAKER_01
Where we want to eat.
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, God.
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SPEAKER_00
We should honestly be thinking now.
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SPEAKER_01
Right.
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SPEAKER_01
Should we do a... choose a line?
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SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
Let s do it.
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Two truths, one lie.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh, I love that.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
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SPEAKER_01
Two truths and a lie.
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I m going to list off three things.
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Two of them are true.
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One is a lie.
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SPEAKER_01
Paige has to guess what the lie is.
1
SPEAKER_01
Is everyone ready?
1
SPEAKER_01
I m nervous.
1
SPEAKER_01
Here we go.
1
SPEAKER_01
I passed out while watching a baby being born.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t like little baby shrimps.
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SPEAKER_01
My first ever CD was Britney Spears.
1
SPEAKER_01
Sharp.
1
SPEAKER_01
Which one is the lie?
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
Um, I think it s true that you don t love baby shrimps.
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SPEAKER_00
And what was the other thing you just said?
1
SPEAKER_00
The last one?
1
SPEAKER_00
Not the Britney Spears one.
1
SPEAKER_01
I passed out while watching a baby being born.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m gonna say that your lie is the Britney Spears CD.
1
SPEAKER_00
Final answer.
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
1
SPEAKER_01
Maggie, do you know what the lie is?
1
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
1
SPEAKER_01
Is she correct or no?
1
SPEAKER_00
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_00
No, she is right.
1
SPEAKER_01
She is right.
1
SPEAKER_01
You got it wrong.
1
SPEAKER_01
What?
1
SPEAKER_01
Fuck you!
1
SPEAKER_01
Give me my points!
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah!
1
SPEAKER_01
Which one was wrong?
1
SPEAKER_01
So it is true, I passed out while watching a baby being born.
1
SPEAKER_00
I think I remember you saying something like that.
1
SPEAKER_00
Who was it?
1
SPEAKER_01
My cousin.
1
SPEAKER_01
She had a baby.
1
SPEAKER_01
God, I was like sophomore in high school or something and I was in the room with her and I took a peek and I was not okay.
1
SPEAKER_00
because did the pussy look like it got the jaw of life?
1
SPEAKER_01
I just saw the head and I just lost it.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I went to the corner and passed out and all the nurses came over running to me and I was like, I m fine, I m fine, just deal with it.
1
SPEAKER_01
I didn t know that.
1
SPEAKER_01
I saw it, just like the movies, like the man sees it and he s like, that was me.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh my, it must be something, I ve never seen that.
1
SPEAKER_00
If you re passing out, whoa.
1
SPEAKER_01
See now, I think now I could handle it.
1
SPEAKER_01
But I guess when I was 15, 16, it just was a lot for me.
1
SPEAKER_00
IRL, though, I ve only seen it on a phone.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_01
The second thing that is true, I don t like little baby shrimps.
1
SPEAKER_01
You know those tiny little, I think they re called bay shrimps, they re like in soups and stuff.
1
SPEAKER_01
I don t know why I don t like them, I never have.
1
SPEAKER_00
Flavor or texture?
1
SPEAKER_01
Probably texture.
1
SPEAKER_01
Now, I love me some shrimps.
1
SPEAKER_01
I love a big old cocktail shrimp.
1
SPEAKER_01
The big daddies.
1
SPEAKER_01
But the little ones, mm-mm.
1
SPEAKER_00
No, not doing it.
1
SPEAKER_00
And Maggie said she can eat 100.
1
SPEAKER_00
And Maggie, you still need to do that challenge.
1
SPEAKER_01
I know.
1
SPEAKER_01
Maybe we ll do it on a slits only.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then Brett, you still have to do your challenge.
1
SPEAKER_01
They got to be like, I said 50, didn t I?
1
SPEAKER_00
I said, I think you said 100, but we can make it 50.
1
SPEAKER_01
All right, well, we ll do it.
1
SPEAKER_00
She s going to have iodine poisoning.
1
SPEAKER_00
Iodine.
1
SPEAKER_00
Iodine poisoning.
1
SPEAKER_00
Iodine poisoning.
1
SPEAKER_01
It can turn you pink too.
1
SPEAKER_01
Pink and then my lie is my first ever CD was Britney Spears That is a lie.
1
SPEAKER_01
My first ever CD was you know, Maggie.
1
SPEAKER_01
Mm-hmm matchbox 20.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s wow.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah I figured it was Britney Spears cuz you loved her.
1
SPEAKER_01
I love them when I was like in junior high when that hit me, baby Repeat I was like I had the now CD
2
SPEAKER_02
Now three.
2
SPEAKER_03
Mm-hmm.
2
SPEAKER_03
I had every now and I d rewind it to the same I did karaoke machine and then I had those little clips those little It was the Britney hit me.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yep.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh gosh, she was like she still is iconic.
2
SPEAKER_03
What is she what happened to her?
2
SPEAKER_03
Okay?
2
SPEAKER_03
Two truths one lie ready.
2
SPEAKER_03
I m ready Okay, I have met Tom Green and
2
SPEAKER_03
I have, or no, my birthday is September 14th, and I ve never seen a tornado.
2
SPEAKER_02
The lie is your birthday is September 15th.
2
SPEAKER_01
Whoa.
2
SPEAKER_01
You don t know birthdays, you said.
2
SPEAKER_03
She would have known that a couple of weeks ago, probably.
2
SPEAKER_01
Correct.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because y all were just talking about it.
2
SPEAKER_02
You probably would have got me on that.
2
SPEAKER_03
Dang.
2
SPEAKER_03
I should have, I knew I should have waited.
2
SPEAKER_01
I like that you don t know birthdays, though.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m horrible.
2
SPEAKER_02
I m horrible.
2
SPEAKER_02
Not only birthdays, but dates.
2
SPEAKER_02
Death dates.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh, I m so bad with it.
2
SPEAKER_02
Even one of my best friends that passed away, I do not know the... I... When it comes down to... The worst.
2
SPEAKER_02
Horrible.
2
SPEAKER_02
Horrible.
2
SPEAKER_03
And I remember really weird things.
2
SPEAKER_03
It s never anything probably important.
2
SPEAKER_03
I remember weird details.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
Of things.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Ooh, y all smell that?
2
SPEAKER_02
Gosh, it smells funky.
2
SPEAKER_02
What is that?
2
SPEAKER_02
It smells like a big old pot of beans on the stove.
2
SPEAKER_02
Ooh, right, it just spilled.
2
SPEAKER_02
Maggie, roll that beautiful bean footage.
2
SPEAKER_00
Hey, honey.
2
SPEAKER_00
Sick as fuck here.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m in my car, don t get mad, but I had a good Mary fuck kill.
2
SPEAKER_04
Ooh.
2
SPEAKER_00
So, would you rather Mary fuck or kill?
2
SPEAKER_00
Cole Wetzel, Jelly Roll, or Morgan Warren?
2
SPEAKER_00
Write them down.
2
SPEAKER_02
All right.
2
SPEAKER_00
I love y all.
2
SPEAKER_00
Have a good day.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Love you, honey, start it off strong with a merry fuck you.
2
SPEAKER_02
I bet mine s gonna be the exact same as yours.
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay, you want me to go first?
2
SPEAKER_02
Who was it?
2
SPEAKER_03
Kowetzel, Jelly, who?
2
SPEAKER_02
And Morgan Wallen.
2
SPEAKER_02
Morgan Walter.
2
SPEAKER_02
Kowetzel, Jelly Roll, and Morgan Walter.
2
SPEAKER_02
Maggie, should we say ours at the same time?
2
SPEAKER_02
Who we fucking?
2
SPEAKER_02
We ll go fuck, one, two, three, and then say it.
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay, we are fucking, one, two, three.
2
SPEAKER_02
Kowetzel.
2
SPEAKER_02
Kowetzel.
2
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_02
We re marrying, one, two, three.
2
SPEAKER_02
Jelly roll.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I m same.
2
SPEAKER_02
And we re carrying Morgan Walter.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Because Ko is so hot.
2
SPEAKER_02
He s so hot.
2
SPEAKER_03
And you don t want a chair on the side of your head.
2
SPEAKER_02
No, I don t want to do that.
2
SPEAKER_02
We don t want somebody with rage.
2
SPEAKER_02
Ko is just, I mean.
2
SPEAKER_02
Ko.
2
SPEAKER_02
He s going to win every time.
2
SPEAKER_02
He s a ho.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Jelly seems like he d be the best husband.
2
SPEAKER_02
Nice.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, he s somebody you want around daily, right?
2
SPEAKER_02
Right.
2
SPEAKER_03
He s a daily guy a good spooner.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, so perfect that way.
2
SPEAKER_02
I know we d have the same I know I know I knew it had the same one.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh Yeah, I ve even told him that in real life you did.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, I think so.
2
SPEAKER_03
No follow-through.
2
SPEAKER_01
No, I
2
SPEAKER_01
I think you said it on a promo, too.
2
SPEAKER_02
I ve said it on a promo here on the pod.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, you ve said you wanted to bone him many times.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
Were you?
2
SPEAKER_02
I bet he would, too.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
We ll call him.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
If it happens, I ll let you know.
2
SPEAKER_02
Would you?
2
SPEAKER_02
Tell everybody.
2
SPEAKER_02
What about Greg?
2
SPEAKER_02
What about Greg?
2
SPEAKER_02
Fuck you, Greg.
2
SPEAKER_02
That s your pass.
2
SPEAKER_02
What about Greg?
2
SPEAKER_03
How many passes you gonna get?
2
SPEAKER_03
You can print out money, you can print out hall passes.
2
SPEAKER_02
Right, I ll just print it out.
2
SPEAKER_02
Maybe I had this hall pass give it to Coe Wetzel.
2
SPEAKER_02
Maybe we talked about it.
2
SPEAKER_02
He s like, oh, okay.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, he would forget.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh, yeah All right Jelly roll is a husband.
2
SPEAKER_03
It seems like he plays video games a lot.
2
SPEAKER_02
That d be great.
2
SPEAKER_02
Not bothering me.
2
SPEAKER_03
Bye Would you not care having a hook it?
2
SPEAKER_03
Let s say Greg played video games Every day like non-stop.
2
SPEAKER_03
What was cuz my sister s divorced?
2
SPEAKER_03
Okay, her husband cuz he was addicted to world of
2
SPEAKER_02
But if he was bringing in jelly money, he can play whatever he wants.
2
SPEAKER_02
Here s the deal.
2
SPEAKER_02
If he was working and contributing and getting his shit done and wasn t a piece of shit that didn t do nothing but just sit on their ass and play video games all day, if he got his shit done and then when he wanted to relax played all the time, I d be fine with that.
2
SPEAKER_02
Now, if it took place of like working, um, a decent relationship with me, stuff like that, then yeah, we d have a big fucking problem.
2
SPEAKER_03
You d be cutting the ethernet cord.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
With my pussy lips.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
You know what I m saying?
2
SPEAKER_02
But if he s working and getting shit done and no, that s fine.
2
SPEAKER_02
I am thankful that Greg doesn t play video games.
2
SPEAKER_02
Now, if he wanted to play like our Super Nintendo or something all day, oh, I d be right there with him.
2
SPEAKER_02
But if he s playing that football game that everybody plays or the other stuff that I m just like, don t know what s going on, I d be like.
2
SPEAKER_03
You don t want no Madden or nothing.
2
SPEAKER_03
You know, play something good.
2
SPEAKER_03
NBA 2K is so fun though.
2
SPEAKER_02
You love that.
2
SPEAKER_03
Gosh, I could definitely get addicted.
2
SPEAKER_03
I should start live-streaming on Twitch.
2
SPEAKER_02
Paige, you would kill.
2
SPEAKER_03
Twitch?
2
SPEAKER_02
You really should.
2
SPEAKER_03
I ve thought about doing that, but... Can you be topless on Twitch?
2
SPEAKER_02
If you live-stream topless... Bitch, you could... I don t know if you can.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh, if not... But I ll try.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, just try it.
2
SPEAKER_00
Why don t you just do it, like, on your OnlyFans Live?
2
SPEAKER_02
It s better on Twitch, I feel like, video games and stuff.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, because Twitch is for video game people.
2
SPEAKER_03
You really should, Paige.
2
SPEAKER_03
The Twitch community s nuts.
2
SPEAKER_03
I know.
2
I know.
2
SPEAKER_03
I got to get good.
2
SPEAKER_03
I used to be so good at Halo.
2
SPEAKER_02
You got to get good on that, honeys.
2
SPEAKER_03
Hey, honeys.
2
SPEAKER_03
Find me on Twitch here.
2
SPEAKER_02
Hey, honeys.
2
SPEAKER_02
All right.
2
SPEAKER_02
Great little Fuck, Marry, and Kill to start us off.
2
SPEAKER_02
We re ready for that next call, Maggie.
2
SPEAKER_02
Let s hit it and quit it, baby.
2
SPEAKER_01
Maliki, baby.
2
SPEAKER_01
Hey, honeys.
2
SPEAKER_01
True crime fan here.
2
SPEAKER_01
What is one unsolved or high-profile murder or criminal case you wish you could notice your details of?
2
SPEAKER_01
I think mine would either be Lacey Peterson, because I think Scott is innocent, or Jomanae Ramsey, because clearly it was Burke.
2
SPEAKER_01
Anyways, love y all, oh yeah.
2
SPEAKER_03
Ooh, these are spicy.
2
SPEAKER_03
I love how she threw in her commentary.
2
SPEAKER_02
Dude, dude, this is a great call.
2
SPEAKER_02
You re getting me hot and bothered right here, true crime.
2
SPEAKER_03
This is a great one, but I also feel like there s so many cases that they didn t make a big deal, that should be a bigger deal.
2
SPEAKER_02
For sure, now.
2
SPEAKER_02
I disagree with the caller.
2
SPEAKER_02
I think Scott Peterson killed his wife.
2
100%.
2
SPEAKER_02
Now, yes, people are going to be like, but wait, you didn t hear about the other side.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yes, I have.
2
SPEAKER_02
I have.
2
SPEAKER_02
I have watched and read everything on Scott Peterson s case.
2
SPEAKER_02
I think he killed his wife.
2
SPEAKER_02
Why?
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh God, it s just, it s so.
2
SPEAKER_02
There s too much evidence.
2
SPEAKER_02
There s too much weird shit that he s done and then trying to flee.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh God.
2
SPEAKER_02
And, and the location of where he was at when she went missing.
2
SPEAKER_02
And then, and then the, you had the mistress who like, he, all the lot, dude, it s just like.
2
SPEAKER_02
There s too much.
2
SPEAKER_02
Too much pointing at him.
2
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_02
And I get the other, people are saying that there s a, there s several other, other, um.
2
SPEAKER_02
Conspiracies.
2
SPEAKER_02
Out there, but I just.
2
SPEAKER_03
This is such a touchy subject to like you say one word you Steven Avery.
2
SPEAKER_03
Oh, no.
2
SPEAKER_03
No people get Okay, like it s this is a really touchy subject.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, but for people they freak out.
2
SPEAKER_03
Yeah Like I don t even know how many messages I got about making a murder.
2
SPEAKER_02
Oh boy, but here s the thing You know, I have my thoughts on things, but I don t know and neither does anybody else.
2
SPEAKER_02
I mean, you don t know That s not when people come to me like no so and so did it I m like, okay
2
SPEAKER_02
You could be right.
2
SPEAKER_02
I think that he killed his wife.
2
SPEAKER_02
Now, here s where I m gonna have a million people messaging me about this one.
2
SPEAKER_02
Let s hear it.
2
SPEAKER_02
I think that
3
SPEAKER_01
The brother did not kill JonBenet Ramsey.
3
SPEAKER_02
No, you think it was?
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t think it was the family.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t think it was the mom, the dad or the brother.
3
SPEAKER_01
And people are going to come for me.
3
SPEAKER_01
There s no point in messaging me.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s just what I think.
3
SPEAKER_01
I have read books on the case.
3
SPEAKER_01
I have watched every documentary multiple times.
3
SPEAKER_02
I just think that s too weird of a. I ve seen pictures on Tic Tac of the little girl with like Ghislaine Maxwell.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think that was photoshopped.
3
SPEAKER_02
That s fake.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
3
SPEAKER_02
Because wait, what happened?
3
SPEAKER_02
They were super high up in the church, the family.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, I think they were just like they were like rich around town.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s like an uppity area of Colorado.
3
SPEAKER_01
So they like had money.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I don t think they were like.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think that s, that s for sure Photoshop though.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
Um, but I just don t think the brother did it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think there s too much evidence pointing away the stuff that people are thinking he did it for my, I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
I just, I don t think the family did it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t.
3
SPEAKER_01
And the parents have been clear.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think the whole family has been cleared.
3
SPEAKER_01
I know the parents have been cleared from the,
3
SPEAKER_02
Sometimes people are cleared, though, and they re the ones, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
Sure, but they were like... That s a high-profile case.
3
SPEAKER_01
And they were under the scope for, what, two decades or something?
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
I just... I don t think... Now, who did it?
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I just don t think it was the brother of the family.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t think the brother did it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t think the mom and dad covered for him.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t.
3
SPEAKER_01
But to answer her question,
3
SPEAKER_01
That would be my number one, if I could just know who did it and solve it, it d be that one.
3
SPEAKER_02
That one s been going on for too long.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
And it s like, is that mother trucker still out here?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yep.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s a wild one.
3
SPEAKER_01
Anything on the JonBenet case, anything new comes out, I m watching it.
3
SPEAKER_02
For me, maybe it s not such a high criminal case or nobody even really thinks, but I feel like there s something fishy with Michael Jackson s death.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, really?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
I just feel like there s more with a lot of celebrities deaths that s covered up and rather than like, I guess a high criminal, but yeah, I would say like, dig it more into those for me.
3
SPEAKER_01
For sure.
3
SPEAKER_01
I can see that.
3
SPEAKER_01
I wouldn t have thought that one, but yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s a deal.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, a little smelly, a little fishy.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh gosh, but I love true crime and I also feel guilty for loving true crime because I know like it s real life and people actually like die.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh gosh, and the families that go through it and can you even think of today?
3
SPEAKER_02
Just with the whole Riley Strain missing in Nashville, just families reading comments.
3
SPEAKER_02
I can never imagine what they re going through.
3
SPEAKER_02
It s so fucking sad.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, not at all.
3
SPEAKER_01
But big true crime rise over here and definitely have my thoughts on things.
3
SPEAKER_01
Now, making a murderer, since season one, I have been 50-50.
3
SPEAKER_01
And yes, I have watched the, there s a documentary, I forgot what it s called, on... Convincing, I think it s convincing.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yes, I ve watched that too.
3
SPEAKER_01
I have watched that last time I talked about it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I had a million people tell me to watch it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I ve watched it.
3
SPEAKER_02
I m not convinced either way.
3
SPEAKER_02
I ve watched it.
3
SPEAKER_02
The whole, the person that got me with Kat was Kathleen Zellner.
3
SPEAKER_02
Followed her on Twitter.
3
SPEAKER_02
I was stalking her, the lawyer, but...
3
SPEAKER_02
Don t know anybody who owes somebody a lot of money.
3
SPEAKER_02
They owed Stephen Avery 30 million dollars, didn t they?
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t I don t know how much it was, but it was a lot They don t want to be given that up.
3
SPEAKER_01
I don t think the police would murder someone and frame someone, huh?
3
SPEAKER_01
No, because think about it those police officers the 30 million ain t come out of their pockets In my brain, why would they murder someone?
3
SPEAKER_02
because they re part of the CIA.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think they for sure maybe cut some corners on the investigation and threw a key chain here and there and did some shit they probably weren t supposed to do.
3
SPEAKER_01
Cut corners, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I don t think they murdered her to not pay the ... They ain t coming out of their shit.
3
SPEAKER_01
They don t care.
3
SPEAKER_01
No.
3
SPEAKER_01
Do you think the nephew had anything to do with it?
3
SPEAKER_01
Brendan?
3
SPEAKER_01
No.
3
SPEAKER_01
Brendan Dassey.
3
SPEAKER_01
No, not at all.
3
SPEAKER_01
Not at all.
3
SPEAKER_02
They were cutting some big corners.
3
SPEAKER_02
That case is crazy.
3
SPEAKER_01
I know.
3
SPEAKER_01
That case is crazy.
3
SPEAKER_02
And honestly, anything that goes on Netflix, too, I automatically think none of this is true.
3
SPEAKER_02
I mean, it s entertainment.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, it s entertainment and it s just... And it s very one-sided.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, with every single thing that goes on Netflix, I m like, because we ve done some filming and they can definitely narrate a story.
3
SPEAKER_02
American Idol, everyone, you re getting got.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh yeah, everybody s getting caught.
3
SPEAKER_01
Man, when we were on tour, we stopped at the Avery Salvage and that was like... Oh God, y all sent me pictures.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh my God.
3
SPEAKER_01
We were scared.
3
SPEAKER_01
We were like, get out and take a picture then leave.
3
SPEAKER_01
We didn t want... Remember after all that came out, I called up there and was looking for a car park just to talk to the guy.
3
SPEAKER_01
She did.
3
SPEAKER_01
She did.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was like, do you got a carburetor for a 1990 Honda?
3
SPEAKER_01
And he was like, oh, let me go look.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I was talking to him for a while.
3
SPEAKER_01
And you know what s funny is like people, when you watch that documentary, people are like, oh, the Avery s like, they re kind of like the low class of the town.
3
SPEAKER_01
They re like the, the, the, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
But they lived in a very nice area.
3
SPEAKER_01
Their property was very nice, very well taken care of.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was like, own their own company.
3
SPEAKER_01
These, these don t look like scum to me.
3
SPEAKER_02
I mean, they look, you know, they look like you own $30 million.
3
SPEAKER_01
I mean, you know, so very weird.
3
SPEAKER_01
But love me a good crime doc.
3
SPEAKER_02
And isn t it funny if you re not like the most prominent person in the town, then you re scum.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
You re scum of the town.
3
SPEAKER_01
Especially in a small town.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
Oh, you re so judged in a small town.
3
SPEAKER_01
I started re-watching Breaking Bad for probably like the fourth time.
3
SPEAKER_01
Every time I watch it, it s like the first time I m watching it.
3
SPEAKER_01
It is so- It is good.
3
SPEAKER_01
I was watching it last night and I go, this is the best show I think I ve ever watched.
3
SPEAKER_01
If you ve never watched Breaking Bad,
3
SPEAKER_01
Dear Lord, Jesus.
3
SPEAKER_02
If it catches my eye, then that says something.
3
SPEAKER_01
You re right, because you never watch anything.
3
SPEAKER_02
Never.
3
SPEAKER_02
Besides sports.
3
SPEAKER_02
Breaking Bad will catch my eye.
3
SPEAKER_02
That intro song?
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh!
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so good.
3
SPEAKER_01
So good.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so.
3
SPEAKER_02
Wait, you watched Dexter?
3
SPEAKER_01
I tried watching Dexter.
3
SPEAKER_01
I think I watched the first season.
3
SPEAKER_01
I really liked it, but I just stopped watching it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I need to get back into it.
3
SPEAKER_01
I need to get back into it.
3
SPEAKER_01
And then there s that other show, what s that show?
3
SPEAKER_01
Girls, line up, girls.
3
SPEAKER_01
Oh, Handmaid s Tale.
3
SPEAKER_01
Handmaid s Tale, I ve only watched the first two episodes.
3
SPEAKER_01
People are freaking out over that.
3
SPEAKER_01
You need to watch that.
3
SPEAKER_01
After Breaking Bad, I m gonna start it.
3
SPEAKER_02
God.
3
SPEAKER_02
You know the dude in Breaking Bad, I think I ve already said this on here, he tried to go through TSA after filming an episode or part of the show and he like had all these bomb explosive things on him still and they went and questioned him for hours at the airport and he s like, I swear.
3
SPEAKER_02
Why would you not take that off before you... Because he probably just didn t know something was like on it.
3
SPEAKER_02
It happened to my sister once, too, from her vape.
3
SPEAKER_02
Something leaked out and it was like an explosive on her hands.
3
SPEAKER_01
But also, filming, why would they not use, like, fake stuff?
3
SPEAKER_01
Why are they actually using... I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_02
He had some residue on his hands from filming.
3
SPEAKER_01
Interesting.
3
SPEAKER_02
Maybe he does his own stunts.
3
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_02
Does something.
3
SPEAKER_01
Good one.
3
SPEAKER_02
Maybe he s really freaking out there killing people and making drugs.
3
SPEAKER_01
You never know.
3
SPEAKER_01
Interesting, all right.
3
SPEAKER_01
Well, gals, ah, gals.
3
SPEAKER_00
Hey, bitches, Brett.
3
SPEAKER_00
Cattle Trucker here.
3
SPEAKER_00
Just listening to episode 70.
3
SPEAKER_00
Been trying to get caught up with you guys.
3
SPEAKER_00
Listening for a while from Washington State.
3
SPEAKER_00
You guys are talking about comedy show etiquette.
3
SPEAKER_00
I went and saw Ginger Billy a while back in Spokane and made me think about the guy that was there, got kind of drunk, asked Ginger Billy to buy his hat.
3
SPEAKER_00
and kind of persisted a couple times and finally Ginger Billy said, man shut the fuck up.
3
SPEAKER_00
Just thought I d share.
3
SPEAKER_00
Love you guys.
4
SPEAKER_00
You guys rock.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah?
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
Love you.
4
SPEAKER_00
Listening all the way from Washington.
4
SPEAKER_00
Have a good one.
4
SPEAKER_00
He was honking his horn.
4
SPEAKER_00
He was honking his horn.
4
SPEAKER_00
We love a male caller.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and a cattle truck driver.
4
SPEAKER_00
And a truck driver.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, God.
4
SPEAKER_00
We love our truck drivers.
4
SPEAKER_00
A daddy.
4
SPEAKER_00
And he sounded like a daddy.
4
SPEAKER_00
Uh-huh.
4
SPEAKER_00
Listen to us all the way from Washington.
4
SPEAKER_00
Thank you.
4
SPEAKER_00
We love and appreciate you.
4
SPEAKER_01
Ginger Billy, the guy you were going on.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, wow.
4
SPEAKER_01
What a coincidence.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s funny because I love that you called in with this.
4
SPEAKER_00
Can you imagine working so hard on material
4
SPEAKER_00
working so hard to perform it good.
4
SPEAKER_00
99% of the audience is wonderful, they re listening, they re into what you re saying.
4
SPEAKER_00
And you hear one stupid motherfucker trying to sell you a hat while you re trying to perform, I d say shut the fuck up too.
4
SPEAKER_00
Can I buy your hat?
4
SPEAKER_00
I d say shut the fuck up.
4
SPEAKER_00
And if you ve been to my show, you know I do say that.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s funny because most everyone s great at the show, but every once in a while you do get one or two that are rowdy and I ll kick them out.
4
SPEAKER_00
If you re disrupting the show and you re making it to where other people can t hear, I m kicking you out.
4
SPEAKER_00
And it s funny because I ll have people come up to me after, this happens a lot, people will come up to me after the show
4
SPEAKER_00
And they re like, oh man, I love that you kicked that girl out.
4
SPEAKER_00
Hey, she d know better if she listened to the pod.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, get them listening.
4
SPEAKER_00
Pod listeners know.
4
SPEAKER_00
They know show etiquette.
4
SPEAKER_00
We talk about it here.
4
SPEAKER_00
They know show etiquette.
4
SPEAKER_00
They always go, she d know if she listens to the pod.
4
SPEAKER_00
I go, that s right.
4
SPEAKER_00
They go, we knew better.
4
SPEAKER_00
We knew better.
4
SPEAKER_00
We sat and listened and we enjoyed the show.
4
SPEAKER_00
We knew better.
4
SPEAKER_00
So I love that the rock fuckers know.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, as they re getting kicked out, they should yell out.
4
SPEAKER_01
Should ve listened to the show.
4
SPEAKER_00
I had a girl in, I don t know if I ve talked about this.
4
SPEAKER_00
We had a show in South Carolina, and she was kind of setting up front.
4
SPEAKER_00
One of the best shows of the tour.
4
SPEAKER_00
And she was drunk, out of her mind, and kept interrupting me.
4
SPEAKER_00
The audience was wonderful, and then she would just yell stuff out after everything I said.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I had to stop the show and tell her to shut up.
4
SPEAKER_00
I m like, listen, I ve told you a couple times before, I m being serious, this is your last time, like, shut up.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I like to tell them to shut up.
4
SPEAKER_00
Well, what do you know she keeps going and finally I go security come get her come get her And she like when I said that she like the security came and got her and she stood up.
4
SPEAKER_00
She was like she was like what?
4
SPEAKER_00
What and I go?
4
SPEAKER_00
Why are you surprised?
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, we re not on the day.
4
SPEAKER_00
She goes.
4
SPEAKER_00
I thought you were joking.
4
SPEAKER_00
I go.
4
SPEAKER_00
Why would I be joking?
4
SPEAKER_00
You re fucking you re making it you re making the show horrible for other people.
4
SPEAKER_00
Why would I be joking?
4
SPEAKER_00
I have to protect the people that came and paid money and drove to see the show.
4
SPEAKER_00
And want to hear.
4
SPEAKER_00
You are ruining it for them, and I will not fucking tolerate it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Your ass is gone.
4
SPEAKER_01
You re done.
4
SPEAKER_00
Sorry, and I don t care if I lose a fan over it.
4
SPEAKER_00
Don t care.
4
SPEAKER_00
I have to protect the other people.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s lose one fan or lose the whole room.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I don t care.
4
SPEAKER_00
Don t care.
4
SPEAKER_00
But I would say for the most part, shows are great, but man, every once in a while you get one and I ll shut it down.
4
SPEAKER_00
Don t fuck with me.
4
SPEAKER_01
You need a song.
4
SPEAKER_01
If you re disrupting the show, you gotta go.
4
SPEAKER_00
You gotta go.
4
SPEAKER_00
You gotta go.
4
SPEAKER_01
Just the whole time.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh, and people love it when I kick someone out.
4
SPEAKER_00
They re so appreciative.
4
SPEAKER_00
They always cheer.
4
SPEAKER_00
They re like, yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
They love it when I kick someone out.
4
SPEAKER_00
You should always plan on kicking out one person.
4
SPEAKER_00
Even if they re being good?
4
SPEAKER_00
Who am I kidding?
4
SPEAKER_00
No, I would never.
4
SPEAKER_00
But if I have to, I ll do it.
4
SPEAKER_00
I don t give a fuck.
4
SPEAKER_01
We ve seen some wild things at shows.
4
SPEAKER_01
Even just the shows we ve been to of yours, people puking sometimes.
4
SPEAKER_00
People fighting.
4
SPEAKER_01
Fighting, talking.
4
SPEAKER_01
It gets wild.
4
SPEAKER_00
Honestly, it s comedy shows.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s everyone I talk to.
4
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah, because people, you know, they re so nervous to meet you.
4
SPEAKER_01
People over drink.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s the problem.
4
SPEAKER_01
I mean, it happens.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s the problem is the over drinking.
4
SPEAKER_00
But every comic I ve talked to, that s just the crowd.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I love energy.
4
SPEAKER_00
I want you to be excited to be there.
4
SPEAKER_00
I want you to have energy.
4
SPEAKER_00
I want you to be like, whoa, when the time s right.
4
SPEAKER_00
But if the audience is completely quiet and I m on stage and I m setting up a joke, that s not the time to yell something out.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I ll say, shut up, I m not talking over you.
4
SPEAKER_01
Because it s more of an art and a performance almost.
4
SPEAKER_01
But they hear comedy and they know how we are and they know you re unhinged as hell so they just think they can scream.
4
SPEAKER_00
Right.
4
SPEAKER_00
Part of the comedy is how you say something.
4
SPEAKER_00
How you set up a joke.
4
SPEAKER_00
The delivery.
4
SPEAKER_00
The delivery.
4
SPEAKER_00
If there s a pause you need to do.
4
SPEAKER_00
That is just as important as the words written.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh yeah.
4
SPEAKER_00
And people don t know if they yell something out, you ve ruined a punchline.
4
SPEAKER_00
You know what I mean?
4
SPEAKER_00
And they think they re being funny and they think they re adding to it, but you re not.
4
SPEAKER_00
And I ll always just say, I m not going to talk over you.
4
SPEAKER_00
Shut up or you re out of here.
4
SPEAKER_00
And usually it shuts them up.
4
SPEAKER_01
But, does it change the whole room?
4
SPEAKER_01
If you yell at one person, does everyone else get a little timid?
4
SPEAKER_00
Most of the time, the room clenches up, and then I ll say, and then I ll literally go, see what you did?
4
SPEAKER_00
Now you tighten the room up.
4
SPEAKER_00
Let s get some good energy back in here.
4
SPEAKER_00
Give it up for me.
4
SPEAKER_00
Give it up for me.
4
SPEAKER_00
The audience usually claps, and then I ll restart, and it s good.
4
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, a little setback, but gotta bounce back.
4
SPEAKER_00
You gotta bounce back, baby.
4
SPEAKER_01
Bounce back, baby.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s part of the job.
4
SPEAKER_00
You gotta bounce back.
4
SPEAKER_00
You gotta control a whole room of people.
4
SPEAKER_01
like a teacher damn that s part of the job thanks for calling in with that and it s fun though and thank y all for knowing and learning your comedy show etiquette love and appreciate you guys and you need shirts that say I have good comedy show etiquette or like I know comedy show it something like that yeah about people that know yeah it s such a big thing dude oh yeah
4
SPEAKER_00
Big time.
4
SPEAKER_01
You ll help everyone out.
4
SPEAKER_01
You ll help out all the other comedians and get a movement going.
4
SPEAKER_00
Yep.
4
SPEAKER_00
So thank you for calling in, honeys.
4
SPEAKER_00
Keep trucking.
4
SPEAKER_01
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SPEAKER_00
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You know you need insurance when those shrimps are singing.
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Check it out.
4
SPEAKER_01
Keep truckin  that cattle.
5
SPEAKER_00
from San Antonio, Texas.
5
SPEAKER_00
So recently I ve been a stay at home mom for about a year and I ve just been looking for some extra income.
5
SPEAKER_00
So I was looking online and I have the opportunity to be a phone, a sex operator and I m totally down.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m very sexual.
5
SPEAKER_00
I guess I listened to all the time, but I need some advice.
5
SPEAKER_00
Like I m so nervous for my first call.
5
SPEAKER_00
We have to do a mock phone call and I get paid for it, which is good, but I just need some tips.
5
SPEAKER_00
I m just worried and nervous that I can t dirty talk as well as.
5
SPEAKER_00
y all can because I know y all could do it and y all do it all the time but any advice maybe any advice for me honeys okay well let me know I love y all so much bye love you honeys
5
SPEAKER_02
Can you imagine being the owner of the company and being like, uh, I ll be the one that does the mock calls and you re just jacking off the entire time.
5
SPEAKER_02
Um, I think this is a good, a good job to have cause you, you can do it at home.
5
SPEAKER_02
I think you can do it at your leisure.
5
SPEAKER_02
Um,
5
SPEAKER_02
And I feel like there wouldn t be a lot of pressure.
5
SPEAKER_02
Now, if you re with someone sexually that you like and you re into and you re, you know, he s wanting to do dirty talk, I feel like you d, I m afraid he s going to think I m stupid.
5
SPEAKER_02
I guarantee you these motherfuckers calling these hotlines are not going to give a fuck.
5
SPEAKER_02
They re going to want to hear the stupidest shit.
5
SPEAKER_02
They re calling because they want that nut.
5
SPEAKER_02
So don t even worry about about sounding dumb or whatever.
5
SPEAKER_02
I would just start slow.
5
SPEAKER_02
Start, you know, like, hey, like, where are you?
5
SPEAKER_03
What do you know about the call?
5
SPEAKER_03
Yes, because some callers might hop right to it.
5
SPEAKER_03
Like, hey, I want you to talk about mutilating my
5
SPEAKER_03
Dick.
5
SPEAKER_02
He may completely, you know, take charge on what he wants.
5
SPEAKER_02
That ll be easy.
5
SPEAKER_02
Sometimes you might get a shy guy that won t.
5
SPEAKER_02
And I feel like, I feel like, you know what, I would even have like a binder of like just some like topics or some sayings.
5
SPEAKER_02
That way, if you kind of lose track, because let s be real,
5
SPEAKER_02
Probably, this is not gonna be very sexual for you.
5
SPEAKER_02
This will be a job, this will be transactional.
5
SPEAKER_02
You re probably not gonna be into it.
5
SPEAKER_02
You re gonna be drying up by call seven.
5
SPEAKER_02
Right, so you can flip a page, I don t know what to say.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, get your files right.
5
SPEAKER_02
You have something there and just say, hey big boy, you know what I mean?
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, yes, you want me to rub myself?
5
SPEAKER_02
Right.
5
SPEAKER_03
You want me to rub my tight little pussy?
5
SPEAKER_02
Whoa, that was good.
5
SPEAKER_02
Say that.
5
SPEAKER_02
Okay, let s do this.
5
SPEAKER_02
I m gonna be the guy, and you re gonna be the sex caller, and I m gonna be a little shy.
5
SPEAKER_02
So you wanna do it here?
5
SPEAKER_02
Improv role play?
5
SPEAKER_02
Okay, ready?
5
SPEAKER_02
Hello.
5
SPEAKER_03
Hey, what are you looking for tonight?
5
SPEAKER_02
I really don t know.
5
SPEAKER_02
This is my first time doing this.
5
SPEAKER_02
I m a little nervous.
5
SPEAKER_03
Do you have your hand on your cock?
5
SPEAKER_02
No, but I can.
5
SPEAKER_02
Is that what I should be doing?
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, put it there.
5
SPEAKER_02
Okay, it s there.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I want you to start stroking on your cock.
5
SPEAKER_02
Okay, I m doing it.
5
SPEAKER_03
I m rubbing my titties.
5
SPEAKER_02
You are?
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, you want me to go down to my tight little asshole?
5
SPEAKER_02
What do your titties look like?
5
SPEAKER_03
They look like two pounds of fat with a nipple on them.
5
SPEAKER_03
That s hard.
5
SPEAKER_02
That s hard.
5
SPEAKER_02
Paige, you have a great voice for that.
5
SPEAKER_03
What if I was that crazy?
5
SPEAKER_03
Two pounds of fat with a nipple on them?
5
SPEAKER_02
The guy would have loved it.
5
SPEAKER_02
The thing is, the dudes would jack off to that.
5
SPEAKER_03
It doesn t matter what you say.
5
SPEAKER_03
They just want to hear, oh.
5
SPEAKER_02
And I think either they re paying for the minute, you may be getting paid by the minute.
5
SPEAKER_02
I d stretch that.
5
SPEAKER_02
Don t start off with, rub your cock.
5
SPEAKER_02
I d start off with, what s your name?
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, it depends on the whole minute, what you got to get.
5
SPEAKER_02
What are you wearing?
5
SPEAKER_02
What do you think I m wearing?
5
SPEAKER_02
You know, start it off slow.
5
SPEAKER_03
I wonder how they do it if it is by... Maggie s fucking, sorry.
5
SPEAKER_03
Maggie s got things going on.
5
SPEAKER_03
I really do wonder if it s by the minute or like until they nut.
5
SPEAKER_03
If you have a plan or what.
5
SPEAKER_02
Oh, it s by the minute.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s by the minute for sure.
5
SPEAKER_03
Oh, then I ll fucking lead them on for a while.
5
SPEAKER_03
A while.
5
SPEAKER_02
I wonder how much it is per minute.
5
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
5
SPEAKER_02
Have you ever called a sex operator?
5
SPEAKER_01
I think I called 1-800-WET-TITS or something when I was eight years old.
5
SPEAKER_02
Eight years old?
5
SPEAKER_01
Well, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_01
You know, your baseball team and, you know, the 10-year-old kids, like, hey, have you ever called 1-800-WET-TITS?
5
SPEAKER_03
We called that on the pod.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, we did.
5
SPEAKER_02
Not wet tits.
5
SPEAKER_02
Not wet tits.
5
SPEAKER_02
We called something else.
5
SPEAKER_02
We called something else.
5
SPEAKER_03
Well, I think we called 1-800-WET-TITS, but then we had to put in our card info and we said we were going to do it.
5
SPEAKER_02
I know, and we never have.
5
SPEAKER_03
We should do that.
5
SPEAKER_02
Let s do it on a slits.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, let s just call 1-800-what-slit, or yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
Well, we could try here, but nothing ever works out when we try to call people on here.
5
SPEAKER_03
And then trying to put in our card info right now, that d be a whole fuckery of events.
5
SPEAKER_03
We could barely flip a quarter the other day.
5
SPEAKER_01
Let us think about this.
5
SPEAKER_01
Do it for a slits, maybe.
5
SPEAKER_02
Brett, that s what I just said.
5
SPEAKER_01
Oh, cool.
5
SPEAKER_01
Probably I don t have my headphones on, so.
5
SPEAKER_03
But you have your ears on.
5
SPEAKER_03
You have your ears on.
5
SPEAKER_01
You can hear this right now.
5
SPEAKER_01
I just didn t hear that acute sound.
5
SPEAKER_01
It was a pretty cute sound.
5
SPEAKER_01
I didn t hear it that well.
5
SPEAKER_01
I apologize.
5
SPEAKER_02
All right.
5
SPEAKER_02
Older, you gotta do better, man.
5
SPEAKER_03
Next time.
5
SPEAKER_03
It s true.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_03
He does have selective hearing.
5
SPEAKER_02
Big time.
5
SPEAKER_02
I think this would be a fun, a fun little gig.
5
SPEAKER_02
And I think that after your first call or two,
5
SPEAKER_02
You ll probably be a pro.
5
SPEAKER_02
You ll probably be so, you know, chill with this.
5
SPEAKER_02
I would get you a little binder.
5
SPEAKER_03
Definitely engage on what they want, and then you can play that role.
5
SPEAKER_03
And no matter what you do, just never feel stupid or even think that.
5
SPEAKER_03
Just play with the role.
5
SPEAKER_03
Almost overplay it, because then you ll just feel comfortable, and it s like, fuck it.
5
SPEAKER_02
And here s the thing.
5
SPEAKER_02
You have no emotional ties with these guys.
5
SPEAKER_02
You don t know them.
5
SPEAKER_02
You don t like them.
5
SPEAKER_02
You re not into them.
5
SPEAKER_02
This is, I don t think you could really mess up.
5
SPEAKER_02
Just fuck, have fun.
5
SPEAKER_03
Worst comes to worst, malt clicky.
5
SPEAKER_02
And worst comes to worst, malt clicky, baby.
5
SPEAKER_02
And hey, super spread while you re on there.
5
SPEAKER_02
At the very end, hey, have you ever watched the Vyra podcast?
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, there s lots of moaning on here.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_03
She can t give up her business.
5
God.
5
SPEAKER_03
You got it.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_03
That would be a crazy job.
5
SPEAKER_03
I d be pretty nervous.
5
SPEAKER_02
I mean... I would be too, but if I was doing it, I literally would have my binder.
5
SPEAKER_02
with my sayings, my, you know, I d be in it.
5
SPEAKER_02
I d be like, oh yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
You know, I want tabs.
5
SPEAKER_02
I want, I think that s a good idea.
5
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_03
You could put the, yeah, for every role play of what they want, you could go to that page.
5
SPEAKER_02
You know what though?
5
SPEAKER_02
I say that this is transactional for her and she may not be into it, but also I think men s voices are so sexy.
5
SPEAKER_02
And if I caught a moaner on there,
5
SPEAKER_02
I might be bringing out my Satisfye Pro 2.0.
5
SPEAKER_02
If I had a moaner on there, I just might.
5
SPEAKER_02
That might be funny for me, too.
5
SPEAKER_02
Maybe just keep something handy.
5
SPEAKER_02
But you know you re gonna have every once in a while, you re gonna have just where you re like, this guy needs to hurry up and nut.
5
SPEAKER_03
Oh, gosh, dude, you re gonna get some crazies, bud.
5
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
I wonder if it s call after call, or is it like maybe one or two calls a day?
5
SPEAKER_02
Oh, no, it s probably call after call.
5
SPEAKER_03
She s like, I gotta put you on hold.
5
SPEAKER_02
You think it s that many?
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
Hold the nut.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yes, dude.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
I do.
5
SPEAKER_02
It s not two calls a day.
5
SPEAKER_03
And men are different.
5
SPEAKER_03
What are these men doing?
5
SPEAKER_03
Calling.
5
SPEAKER_02
Calling.
5
SPEAKER_02
Jerking.
5
SPEAKER_02
Calling and jerking.
5
Dang.
5
SPEAKER_03
And men act different.
5
SPEAKER_03
Well, anybody acts different when they want that nut.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
5
SPEAKER_02
You re not yourself when you want the nut.
5
SPEAKER_02
You re not yourself.
5
SPEAKER_03
I can t even imagine.
5
SPEAKER_02
Right.
5
SPEAKER_02
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You got this, and good luck, and happy Mona Lisa.
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Happy Mona Lisa, love you.
6
SPEAKER_01
Love you.
6
SPEAKER_01
Hey, I have some advice, you guys wanna hear it?
6
SPEAKER_05
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
Oh, Brett, yeah, Brett, go ahead.
6
SPEAKER_01
I think she should pretend like every time s her first time, you know, because then like he ll become more, uh, you know, comfortable with her and then get that repeat business.
6
SPEAKER_05
Well, yeah, she s not going to be like, Oh, the last call.
6
SPEAKER_05
She s not gonna, she won t know.
6
SPEAKER_01
Just pretend like every call is your first one, be all innocent and then get freaky.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then you ll want her again.
6
SPEAKER_01
Cause he s like, Oh, she s, she has, she s not talking like this to other guys.
6
SPEAKER_02
What if he doesn t, what if he doesn t want that?
6
SPEAKER_02
What if he wants an experienced sex operator?
6
SPEAKER_01
She has to be a good listener.
6
SPEAKER_01
Listen first.
6
SPEAKER_01
And then if things get awkward, then go to the, uh, you know, you know, she s a virgin.
6
SPEAKER_01
You re saying what you want.
6
SPEAKER_01
He s saying what he wants.
6
SPEAKER_01
I know.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m saying, don t say she s a virgin caller, bro.
6
SPEAKER_05
That s fricking Ted Bundy.
6
SPEAKER_02
Ted Bundy.
6
SPEAKER_05
God, Brett.
6
SPEAKER_02
God.
6
SPEAKER_05
I should have said no.
6
SPEAKER_02
We should have cut his mic before he started talking.
6
SPEAKER_05
We should have went to the next caller.
6
SPEAKER_02
But he had to say, I ve got some advice, you want to hear it?
6
SPEAKER_02
I forgot he was back there.
6
SPEAKER_05
Say you re a virgin.
6
SPEAKER_02
No, I ain t.
6
SPEAKER_05
He s mad.
6
SPEAKER_05
Brett, are you mad at us?
6
SPEAKER_05
Brett.
6
SPEAKER_05
He s so mad.
6
SPEAKER_05
He put on his sunglasses, freaking Cody, Cody Hart or whatever that, Cory.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m hiding right now.
6
SPEAKER_05
You guys can t see me.
6
SPEAKER_02
He s Eric Church.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m gonna pee my fucking pants.
6
SPEAKER_02
I m gonna pee my pants.
6
SPEAKER_02
Because of the actions?
6
SPEAKER_01
I hope Ben will show Paige when I was talking there.
6
SPEAKER_02
She was like, Ben will edit good.
6
SPEAKER_02
Don t be giving Ben notes, Brett.
6
SPEAKER_02
He will edit so good.
6
SPEAKER_05
And don t try to gaslight right now.
6
SPEAKER_01
I m just saying if things get awkward, just say it s your first time.
6
SPEAKER_05
Okay.
6
SPEAKER_01
Fuck.
6
SPEAKER_02
No, that, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_05
Okay.
6
SPEAKER_02
Just say, hey, I m sorry that this is my first call.
6
SPEAKER_04
That might make people a little weird, though, too.
6
SPEAKER_04
You want me to put my finger in me?
6
SPEAKER_04
My hole s so tight, there s never been a dick up there.
6
SPEAKER_04
I m gonna pop my own shirt.
6
SPEAKER_02
That s a little, I mean, if you re doing a role play and that s what he wants, yeah, but come on, Brad.
6
SPEAKER_01
Everything is just whatever you think it is.
6
SPEAKER_01
Right.
6
SPEAKER_05
I get what you mean now, though.
6
SPEAKER_05
Act like it s your first day at work.
6
SPEAKER_03
No, I wouldn t want them to know that was my first call.
6
SPEAKER_03
Right.
6
SPEAKER_05
Do that if you re working at like Taco Bell or something.
6
SPEAKER_02
If you mess up a taco, be like, hey man, it s my first day.
6
SPEAKER_02
Not while you re sex operating.
6
SPEAKER_05
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_01
I mean, you have to be a pro, you know?
6
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_05
Just read the call, read the call.
6
SPEAKER_01
Are those calls recorded?
6
SPEAKER_01
Read the binder.
6
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
6
SPEAKER_02
And I think when it comes to a job like this, it s all trial and error.
6
SPEAKER_02
You will get better.
6
SPEAKER_03
It might get better with her husband, too.
6
SPEAKER_03
She ll learn some things and start saying some new stuff, maybe.
6
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I don t know if she s married.
6
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, was she married?
6
SPEAKER_03
I heard a baby.
6
SPEAKER_03
Well, that don t mean... Bitch, that don t mean nothing.
6
SPEAKER_02
Bitch, you got kids.
6
SPEAKER_02
That don t mean nothing.
6
SPEAKER_03
She might be, but yeah.
6
SPEAKER_03
She said she s a stay-at-home mom.
6
SPEAKER_05
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
Maggie s married to the game.
6
SPEAKER_02
She gotta be.
6
SPEAKER_05
I wanna be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.
6
SPEAKER_02
That sounds great.
6
SPEAKER_05
Damn.
6
SPEAKER_02
That s what bread is.
6
SPEAKER_03
He s not laughing, dude.
6
SPEAKER_03
He s not laughing.
6
SPEAKER_03
I m gonna pee my pants.
6
SPEAKER_05
All right, let s send it to the next caller.
6
SPEAKER_05
Hey, Brett.
6
SPEAKER_03
Brett s got a fucking murder, y all.
6
SPEAKER_05
Last night, I looked at him and I m like, is this guy gonna murder me one day?
6
SPEAKER_05
Hey, Brett, are you mad at me?
6
SPEAKER_03
He s gonna be on Snapped, dude.
6
SPEAKER_03
Brett, let me see your eyes.
6
SPEAKER_02
He s gonna be on Dateline.
6
SPEAKER_02
Look at me in the eyes.
6
SPEAKER_02
Are you mad at me?
6
SPEAKER_02
Hey, Brett, I wanna let you know something.
6
SPEAKER_02
I love you very much.
6
SPEAKER_02
I love you, too.
6
SPEAKER_02
And when we are off camera, Brett gives it back as much as I give it.
6
SPEAKER_02
But for some reason, when we re filming, he acts all innocent.
6
SPEAKER_02
But let s go ahead with the next call.
6
SPEAKER_05
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_05
Y all stop.
6
SPEAKER_05
He does.
6
SPEAKER_05
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_05
Oh, I know.
6
SPEAKER_05
Oh, dude.
6
SPEAKER_00
You guys being mean.
6
SPEAKER_00
Hey honey, it s Jared from Southern Utah here.
6
SPEAKER_00
Would you rather have your genitals licked by a giraffe for 10 minutes or have your fart box tongue punched by an aardvark for 10 minutes?
6
SPEAKER_00
Caveat is that you have to choose one or the entire universe is gonna blow up.
6
SPEAKER_00
Oh, okay.
6
SPEAKER_00
Love you, honey
6
SPEAKER_02
That was a good one.
6
SPEAKER_05
I got some horny collars today.
6
SPEAKER_05
Yeah.
6
SPEAKER_05
And aardvark.
6
SPEAKER_05
Isn t that one of those ant eaters?
6
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
6
SPEAKER_02
I don t know.
6
SPEAKER_02
Let s Google it.
6
SPEAKER_02
Never heard of that.
6
SPEAKER_05
I think those were the things in Donkey Kong.
6
SPEAKER_02
I think they are ant eaters.
6
SPEAKER_05
Aardvark.
6
SPEAKER_05
With that long nose.
6
SPEAKER_05
And they roll up into a ball like a roly poly.
6
SPEAKER_02
Oh.
6
SPEAKER_02
Oh, when I was a kid, loved playing with roly polies.
6
SPEAKER_05
Oh, my.
6
SPEAKER_05
I d always be picking them up, putting them in my hands.
6
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, it s this thing right here.
6
SPEAKER_02
Okay, yeah, yeah.
6
SPEAKER_02
Okay, would we rather have a giraffe lick our pussies for 10 minutes or have an aardvark eat our ass, but the thing is we have to pick one or the universe explodes or dies, whatever?
7
SPEAKER_02
I can t come with you messing with my ass.
7
SPEAKER_02
I want you to lick where the clit is.
7
SPEAKER_02
And a giraffe, number one, strong neck.
7
SPEAKER_02
They re gonna be able to beat it out of there for a minute.
7
SPEAKER_02
Number two, big thick tongue.
7
SPEAKER_02
And listen, I m not into animals, but this is just a hypothetical here.
7
SPEAKER_02
Giraffes usually have their heads up though.
7
SPEAKER_02
They can bend it down.
7
SPEAKER_02
Or hell, put me up in a tree, I don t give a fuck.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, we might need to put you in a tree.
7
SPEAKER_01
You might need a tree house.
7
SPEAKER_00
What about on the fence, the chain link fence?
7
SPEAKER_00
Sure, I ll do anything.
7
SPEAKER_00
Sometimes I ll just stare at a giraffe while they re licking.
7
SPEAKER_02
Where?
7
SPEAKER_00
At the zoo.
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh, you just go and- Just get mesmerized.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh, okay.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I m picking giraffe.
7
SPEAKER_01
I m picking a draft that there ain t no way.
7
SPEAKER_01
I want an aardvark just pounding me No, cuz it s it s long dick shaped nose gonna go up in there and I m gonna I m not wanting anal and they re hard Looking what about y all?
7
SPEAKER_02
Giraffe.
7
SPEAKER_01
Do giraffes have those long tongues?
7
SPEAKER_00
I like giraffes, but I d have him lick my ass.
7
SPEAKER_00
Or her, excuse me.
7
SPEAKER_02
Brett, can you do me a favor?
7
SPEAKER_02
We talk about, like, men moaning on the pod.
7
SPEAKER_02
We ve never had you moan.
7
SPEAKER_02
Would you moan for us how you would if you re, like, trying to really turn me on?
7
SPEAKER_02
Try to turn me on right now by just some moans.
7
SPEAKER_02
And be serious about it.
7
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
7
SPEAKER_00
Okay.
7
SPEAKER_00
I can t do it.
7
SPEAKER_02
Why not?
7
SPEAKER_02
You nervous?
7
SPEAKER_00
No.
7
SPEAKER_00
Pretend it s your first time.
7
SPEAKER_00
I can t think of what I say.
7
SPEAKER_02
Brett, pretend it s your first time.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s a moan, you don t gotta say nothing.
7
SPEAKER_02
You don t say nothing, you just... No, no, never mind.
7
SPEAKER_02
You sound like Beavis and Butthead.
7
SPEAKER_02
No, Brett, don t do that.
7
SPEAKER_01
You sound like Ken Kaniff.
7
SPEAKER_01
Don t do that.
7
SPEAKER_01
Do it how you do it.
7
SPEAKER_01
I said be serious.
7
SPEAKER_00
I don t know how I do it.
7
SPEAKER_01
Brett, you re doing that Mormon mentality thing.
7
SPEAKER_02
No, don t do that.
7
SPEAKER_02
I m about to cut your mic.
7
SPEAKER_02
Pussy, pussy.
7
SPEAKER_00
Pussy, pussy, pussy, pussy.
7
SPEAKER_02
I would dry up so fucking fast.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m not a good talker or moaner.
7
SPEAKER_01
You know what he said to me?
7
SPEAKER_01
Oh, I love that you re a vegetarian.
7
SPEAKER_01
I know.
7
I know.
7
SPEAKER_01
So, but he moans.
7
SPEAKER_01
He doesn t go like, he ll be like,
7
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that s what I m saying, Brett.
7
SPEAKER_02
Uh.
7
SPEAKER_02
No, see?
7
SPEAKER_02
He s trying to go too deep.
7
SPEAKER_02
Uh.
7
SPEAKER_02
Have it, close your eyes, pretend something s- He s trying too hard.
7
SPEAKER_02
Slobbing on your knob, and what would be natural?
7
SPEAKER_02
Like, uh.
7
Oh, fuck.
7
SPEAKER_02
That could work.
7
SPEAKER_02
Brett s never gonna get you going, Chelsea.
7
SPEAKER_02
I know, I tried.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m just not good with words.
7
SPEAKER_00
I tried, Brett.
7
SPEAKER_02
Ceremony, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
I tried.
7
SPEAKER_00
Just sticking.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
You know,
7
SPEAKER_02
You ve talked a little bit, but I don t think you ve talked enough, Brett.
7
SPEAKER_02
Thank you.
7
SPEAKER_02
I think maybe you should, I don t know, do some more talking maybe.
7
SPEAKER_01
Make those lips move.
7
SPEAKER_01
Are you ready for this?
7
SPEAKER_00
Mm-hmm.
7
Lean forward.
7
Brett.
7
SPEAKER_02
Lean forward.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yep.
7
SPEAKER_00
I was talking to this guy the other day I know about bidets, and I asked him if he d ever used one, and he said no.
7
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, do you think that s, maybe it s just kind of gay or something?
7
SPEAKER_00
Like, why would you not want to use a bidet?
7
SPEAKER_00
He s like, you know what?
7
SPEAKER_00
I do kind of think it is a little gay.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m like, but it s only gay if, like, let s say you re doing it for, like, probably five minutes.
7
SPEAKER_00
That might be a little bit.
7
SPEAKER_00
But what I think would be cool is if the bidet was on and you re,
7
SPEAKER_00
getting slobbed on or something.
7
SPEAKER_00
Like a bidet blowjob.
7
SPEAKER_00
Bidet, doggie style.
7
SPEAKER_00
Anything by day, by night.
7
SPEAKER_00
This is Joe Rogan, boy!
7
SPEAKER_00
Um, see, I think that d be fun.
7
SPEAKER_00
Brett, it s your dad.
7
SPEAKER_00
Time s up.
7
SPEAKER_00
What are you even talking about?
7
SPEAKER_01
Your dad called.
7
SPEAKER_00
I m talking about bidet blowjobs.
7
SPEAKER_00
So now it s gay.
7
SPEAKER_00
Did my timer go off?
7
SPEAKER_02
Hey, Brett, your timer went off.
7
SPEAKER_00
Oh, shit.
7
SPEAKER_01
So they think it s be gay.
7
SPEAKER_02
So now they think it s be gay to have a clean asshole?
7
SPEAKER_02
That s a new one.
7
SPEAKER_02
Well, yeah, what I mean?
7
SPEAKER_02
Those are the ones that are hiding some shit.
7
SPEAKER_01
Those are the ones that are gay.
7
SPEAKER_02
Dudes are so terrified of having a butthole pleasure.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s unreal.
7
SPEAKER_01
The stigma around it, man.
7
SPEAKER_01
You grew up.
7
SPEAKER_01
Don t put things up your ass.
7
SPEAKER_01
You re a guy.
7
SPEAKER_01
But I mean, what if they like a little ass tickle?
7
SPEAKER_01
And it s not like some dude is popping out of the toilet licking your ass.
7
SPEAKER_01
This is just to clean it.
7
SPEAKER_02
What if some guy just comes out and goes back down?
7
SPEAKER_02
I m Biden.
7
SPEAKER_01
I m Biden.
7
SPEAKER_02
You know, and his name s Jeff Bidet.
7
SPEAKER_01
Jeff Bidet.
7
SPEAKER_01
Jeff.
7
SPEAKER_01
You know, they d probably be like, hey man, you know, that s a little weird.
7
SPEAKER_02
Let s just stick to water.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
But a blowjob while someone s sitting on the toilet, absolutely fucking not.
7
SPEAKER_00
Bidet though.
7
SPEAKER_00
It don t matter.
7
SPEAKER_00
You already shit.
7
SPEAKER_02
It don t matter.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s splashing that water up.
7
SPEAKER_01
Oh, God.
7
SPEAKER_01
And it can fucking heads right there.
7
SPEAKER_00
No, I could keep it on the asshole.
7
SPEAKER_01
If you re not, like, I wouldn t say that s gay, you just like your asshole played with, because straight men like their asshole played with.
7
SPEAKER_02
But there s so many dudes that are terrified to say, who cares?
7
SPEAKER_02
Clean your asshole.
7
SPEAKER_02
If you like a butthole pleasure, so what?
7
SPEAKER_02
I think if they didn t shit and they had a clean ass and sat down and wanted it squirting their ass, I would probably do it.
7
SPEAKER_02
I don t think I still would.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s still too close to the bath.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s still, I don t know.
7
SPEAKER_01
I wouldn t care too much, honestly.
7
SPEAKER_01
You think different when you need to nut.
7
SPEAKER_02
True, but I m not the one nutting.
7
SPEAKER_02
I m the one doing all the work, slobbing on the knob.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s like a Blumpkin, but with a bidet, like a bidetkin.
7
SPEAKER_00
I guess it s called a ba-dumpkin.
7
SPEAKER_01
A ba-day-kin, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
Brett, this seems like something that you would actually want to do.
7
SPEAKER_02
Sounds like he wants to do it.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, totally.
7
SPEAKER_01
I haven t used the ba-day yet.
7
SPEAKER_01
I m waiting to shoot a video.
7
SPEAKER_01
Oh, yeah.
7
SPEAKER_01
Trying it for the first time, but... I love it.
7
SPEAKER_01
I feel like I need to try one for the first time with like heat, all different sensors.
7
SPEAKER_01
Like Maggie s old toilet seat, ooh.
7
SPEAKER_01
Lost the remote.
7
SPEAKER_01
Do you still have that toilet seat?
7
SPEAKER_02
I have the seat, but not the remote.
7
SPEAKER_02
I wonder if I can just replace the remote.
7
SPEAKER_01
I bet.
7
SPEAKER_01
You can maybe get an app on your phone.
7
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
Google it.
7
SPEAKER_01
Gosh.
7
SPEAKER_02
Oh.
7
SPEAKER_01
Clean your assholes.
7
SPEAKER_01
It s not gay.
7
SPEAKER_02
We talked about this in the pod a long time ago.
7
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
7
SPEAKER_02
That viral TikTok thread was going around how dudes were saying that they don t wash their asshole.
7
SPEAKER_02
It s like- Leaving skin marks.
7
SPEAKER_02
Not even wiping.
7
SPEAKER_01
Not Mark eating that ass.
7
SPEAKER_02
I don t even wanna go, I don t even wanna dig into this conversation, I m so grossed out.
7
SPEAKER_02
I am so, Chelsea saw something too.
7
SPEAKER_02
Green ring?
7
SPEAKER_00
What was that?
7
SPEAKER_02
Greg s green ring.
7
SPEAKER_02
No.
7
SPEAKER_01
What?
7
SPEAKER_01
Somebody been over.
7
SPEAKER_01
What happened, you saw shit?
7
SPEAKER_01
You saw some shit?
7
SPEAKER_02
Who s shit?
7
SPEAKER_02
She s gonna puke.
7
SPEAKER_02
I think we were at a hardware store or something.
7
SPEAKER_02
Where were we?
7
SPEAKER_02
Beth, where were we?
7
SPEAKER_02
Okay, okay, I don t wanna talk about it.
7
SPEAKER_02
She saw some doo-doo.
7
SPEAKER_02
Someone bent, this guy bent over and his pants were like falling down.
7
SPEAKER_02
You saw some skids?
7
SPEAKER_02
No, I didn t see skids.
7
SPEAKER_02
I saw full-blown shit where someone didn t wipe and had shit from top of their crack to the bottom.
7
SPEAKER_01
Wait, where the heck at?
7
SPEAKER_01
I didn t know the guy.
7
SPEAKER_01
How d you see it, though?
7
SPEAKER_02
Because he bent over right in front of me, and somebody s bent, you know, and the pants are literally three-fourths of the way down his crack, bent over to pick something up, and there was shit from top of the crack to the bottom, and I lost my fucking mind.
7
SPEAKER_02
She did.
7
SPEAKER_02
She almost puked, literally.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I didn t want him to feel, I didn t want to make fun of him.
7
SPEAKER_02
But my body reacted in a way that I couldn t control.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I turned around and I just started walking and I was gagging and I couldn t handle it.
7
SPEAKER_02
And I had...
8
SPEAKER_02
taking that memory out of my mind.
8
SPEAKER_02
The shit was just rolled up like a hot dog, like looked like a hot dog.
8
SPEAKER_02
Hot dog buns.
8
SPEAKER_01
Just chunks of shit, and I m not talking about dingleberries, I m talking the motherfucker s shit, probably 10 times, and did not wipe his ass.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s gotta be itching.
8
SPEAKER_02
God!
8
SPEAKER_02
You should ve been lending him a freaking bidet, dude.
8
SPEAKER_02
Tushy needs to get a hold of that guy.
8
SPEAKER_01
Shut up to Tushy, though.
8
SPEAKER_02
He wouldn t smell it.
8
SPEAKER_01
See, I would never.
8
SPEAKER_01
How do you not feel it?
8
SPEAKER_02
Feel and smell.
8
SPEAKER_02
It was dried.
8
SPEAKER_02
Dry?
8
SPEAKER_02
Just stalking his ass hair.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh God, we gotta move on.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m dead serious, please.
8
SPEAKER_02
And I ve seen Chelsea freaking gag because of smells.
8
SPEAKER_02
I can t believe you re still here.
8
SPEAKER_01
Okay, we gotta move on.
8
SPEAKER_01
All right.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh God.
8
SPEAKER_01
You want me to play the next call?
8
SPEAKER_01
I m sorry everyone for talking about that.
8
SPEAKER_01
Maggie brought it up.
8
SPEAKER_02
Well, it happens.
8
SPEAKER_02
You should help that guy out.
8
SPEAKER_01
Sir?
8
SPEAKER_01
Ma am?
8
SPEAKER_02
Sir, you got some shit in your ass.
8
SPEAKER_01
But here s the thing.
8
SPEAKER_01
He has to know.
8
SPEAKER_01
Does he though?
8
SPEAKER_00
He might be under the influence of drugs.
8
SPEAKER_01
No, this dude was sober.
8
SPEAKER_02
He wasn t paralyzed from the legs down or ass down.
8
SPEAKER_01
Hello and welcome to the Moo Moo commercials.
8
SPEAKER_02
You know the old saying, you are what you eat, but that s not always good because everything we eat isn t all that clean.
8
SPEAKER_02
Thankfully, we found Mosh Bars.
8
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8
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8
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8
SPEAKER_02
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8
SPEAKER_02
I love having protein bars in my pantry because I m always on the go.
8
SPEAKER_02
So just grabbing one quickly, throwing it in my purse is key for me.
8
SPEAKER_02
And I also get sick if I don t eat.
8
SPEAKER_02
So just having a healthy, good snack on the go is what I need.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_02
The best part is MOSH donates a portion of all proceeds from your order to fund gender-based brain health research through the women s Alzheimer s movement.
8
SPEAKER_02
And if you re thinking, why gender-based?
8
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8
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8
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8
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8
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8
SPEAKER_02
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8
SPEAKER_02
Thank you, Mosh, for sponsoring this episode.
8
SPEAKER_02
Hmm.
8
SPEAKER_01
Next call.
8
SPEAKER_01
Maybe you just think it s normal.
8
SPEAKER_01
Brett, stop.
8
SPEAKER_01
We got to do the next call, brother.
8
SPEAKER_00
Hey, honey.
8
SPEAKER_00
Driving home from work here.
8
SPEAKER_00
Just calling because I m wondering if Chelsea or Maggie or Beth or whatever.
8
SPEAKER_00
I know damn sure Paige is not going to know who Ronnie Miltap is.
8
SPEAKER_00
Um, just wondering if you guys are Ronnie Miltap fans.
8
SPEAKER_00
Um, I ve been a Ronnie Miltap fan since I was like five or six.
8
SPEAKER_00
Mom introduced him to me.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m 30 now.
8
SPEAKER_00
He is one of my faves.
8
SPEAKER_00
I ve seen him in content a couple of times.
8
SPEAKER_00
But anyway, I m just wondering if you guys are a fan of him, if you know any of his songs.
8
SPEAKER_00
Um, yeah, classical country, maybe a little bit of blues.
8
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
8
SPEAKER_00
Maybe not blues.
8
SPEAKER_00
Blind man, piano man, black little mullet, love him.
8
SPEAKER_00
Little smoky mountain rain, keep on calling, keep on moving.
8
SPEAKER_00
Her name, I forgot the fucking lyrics.
8
SPEAKER_00
Anyways, love him.
8
SPEAKER_00
Love Ronnie.
8
SPEAKER_00
Anyways, other than that, fuck, marry, kill.
8
SPEAKER_00
I m wondering if you, okay, Ronnie Milta, Stevie Wonder, and Jesse McCartney.
8
SPEAKER_00
All right.
8
SPEAKER_00
Love you, honeys.
8
SPEAKER_01
Love you, honeys.
8
SPEAKER_00
Bye.
8
SPEAKER_01
I wouldn t have missed it for the world.
8
SPEAKER_01
There s a stranger in my house.
8
SPEAKER_01
Of course I m a fan of Ronnie Millsap.
8
SPEAKER_01
Of course.
8
SPEAKER_01
Uh-huh.
8
SPEAKER_01
Of course.
8
SPEAKER_01
Ronnie Millsap.
8
SPEAKER_02
We love Ronnie.
8
SPEAKER_02
Only Millsap I know is Paul Millsap.
8
SPEAKER_01
I don t even know who that is.
8
SPEAKER_02
Basketball player.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah jazz love Ronnie Millsap Now this this is the most this is the strangest F Mary K. I think we ve ever gotten Ronnie Millsap
8
SPEAKER_01
Who was the second one?
8
SPEAKER_02
Stevie Wonder.
8
SPEAKER_01
Stevie Wonder.
8
SPEAKER_01
And Jesse McCartney.
8
SPEAKER_01
And Jesse McCartney?
8
SPEAKER_02
And Stevie Wonder s blind, right?
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, and Ronnie Millsap s blind.
8
SPEAKER_01
Supposedly.
8
SPEAKER_02
Oh, dang, they re all blind?
8
SPEAKER_02
Brett, stop!
8
SPEAKER_02
Oh, is he faking it?
8
SPEAKER_01
He said supposedly.
8
SPEAKER_01
There s a conspiracy that he s faking it, but who, I mean, him.
8
SPEAKER_01
Hey, that s fucking funny, man.
8
SPEAKER_02
Dude, that s smart.
8
SPEAKER_02
I might have to start faking that.
8
SPEAKER_00
Hey, Stevie, and he s like, hey, what s up?
8
SPEAKER_01
Well, you can sense people though.
8
SPEAKER_00
That s true.
8
SPEAKER_01
He probably uses his third eye.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
Um, but Ronnie Millsap is blonde as well.
8
SPEAKER_01
And you know what s funny?
8
SPEAKER_01
I think I ve said this before.
8
SPEAKER_02
It s funny he s blind.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s fun.
8
SPEAKER_01
I ve always wanted to fuck a blind guy.
8
SPEAKER_01
Perfect.
8
SPEAKER_01
I just think they would touch you more sensually than a guy that s just staring at your tits.
8
SPEAKER_01
I ve always wanted to fuck a blind guy.
8
SPEAKER_01
It s a braille effect.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, he s gonna be just trying to braille up on your titties.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_02
So, FMK.
8
SPEAKER_02
I m gonna... And if they know where the bathroom is by those little dots, they re for sure finding the clit.
8
SPEAKER_01
Right.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m gonna... I m gonna fuck Ronnie Millsap.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m going to marry Stevie Wonder.
8
SPEAKER_01
Because then I d get to the bottom of that conspiracy.
8
SPEAKER_01
And I d let everybody know.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_02
Or you re stuck with a blind guy, you re doing everything for him.
8
SPEAKER_01
No, blind people can do stuff.
8
SPEAKER_00
She said everything, but she didn t mean to say everything, you know?
8
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
8
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
No, I bet.
8
SPEAKER_01
Can you imagine being married to Stevie Wonder?
8
SPEAKER_01
Like, hey, play me some tunes.
8
SPEAKER_01
Are you kidding me?
8
SPEAKER_01
You re married to Stevie Wonder.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, he s gonna be hitting Gary with his walking stick.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh, but then I ll also want to listen to Ronnie Mills.
8
SPEAKER_01
Okay, I m gonna stick with that.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m fucking Ronnie Mills out.
8
SPEAKER_01
Marrying Stevie Wonder because Jesse McCartney.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, what the fuck?
8
SPEAKER_02
Where d he come from?
8
SPEAKER_01
He s gotta go.
8
SPEAKER_01
He s gotta go.
8
SPEAKER_01
Where d he used to sing?
8
SPEAKER_02
Oh, God.
8
SPEAKER_02
And we re not talking about... Let me pull it up.
8
SPEAKER_02
You ve told me about Jesse McCartney before on the pod.
8
SPEAKER_01
Really?
8
SPEAKER_02
Cause I didn t know who it was.
8
SPEAKER_02
Um, I think I would, I don t really know Ronnie Millsap, but.
8
SPEAKER_01
It kind of looks like Billy Gilman to me.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m just not a, not a Jesse McCartney fan.
8
SPEAKER_01
I d rather listen.
8
SPEAKER_01
I m looking, I m doing this music wise.
8
SPEAKER_01
I d rather listen to Stevie Wonder or Ronnie Millsap s music over Jesse McCartney.
8
SPEAKER_01
So he s got to go.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
Gotta go.
8
SPEAKER_01
I don t know.
8
SPEAKER_01
It says, uh, Beautiful Soul.
8
SPEAKER_01
Oh, that s right.
8
SPEAKER_01
I want you and your beautiful soul.
8
SPEAKER_01
Remember that?
8
SPEAKER_01
Came out in 2004.
8
SPEAKER_01
I don t want none.
8
SPEAKER_01
I don t want another pretty face.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
8
SPEAKER_02
I don t want just anyone to hold.
8
SPEAKER_02
Right.
8
SPEAKER_02
I don t want my love to go to waste.
8
SPEAKER_02
I ll take him.
8
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
8
SPEAKER_02
He s, yeah, I m going to marry him.
8
SPEAKER_01
Marry?
8
SPEAKER_01
Okay.
8
SPEAKER_01
Who you fucking?
8
SPEAKER_02
Cause I like that song.
8
SPEAKER_02
I ll just have it on repeat.
8
SPEAKER_02
Who you fucking?
8
SPEAKER_02
Fucking, uh,
8
SPEAKER_02
Stevie.
8
SPEAKER_01
OK, that s a good one.
8
SPEAKER_01
And marrying Ronnie Millsap?
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_01
That s good.
8
SPEAKER_02
Because I want to wonder if his eyes are... Stevie, wonder if your eyes are really blind.
8
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
8
SPEAKER_02
Mm-hmm.
9
SPEAKER_02
Okay, good job, everybody.
9
SPEAKER_02
Good job.
9
SPEAKER_01
Why are they really thinking that conspiracy?
9
SPEAKER_01
Because you would give people fist pumps right where their hands would be?
9
SPEAKER_02
I actually have no idea.
9
SPEAKER_02
I think it s just fun for people to think things.
9
SPEAKER_01
What if he was just reading?
9
SPEAKER_02
I mean, I don t know.
9
SPEAKER_02
I haven t dug, dived into that, dove into that, but I have heard that.
9
SPEAKER_01
Let us know if you know anything about Stevie Wonder.
9
SPEAKER_02
Look at Brett looking like Ronnie Millsap right now.
9
SPEAKER_02
Ben, do a side-by-side of Ronnie Millsap and Brett right now.
9
SPEAKER_01
Now that we know Ben can add all this shit.
9
SPEAKER_01
Ben, can you have this?
9
SPEAKER_02
Ben, add a side.
9
SPEAKER_02
Ben, can you not do that?
9
SPEAKER_02
I m just kidding.
9
SPEAKER_02
Brett.
9
SPEAKER_01
Brett.
9
SPEAKER_01
Ben, just listen to us.
9
SPEAKER_02
Ben, only listen to us.
9
SPEAKER_02
Oh, he knows.
9
SPEAKER_02
He knows.
9
SPEAKER_02
All right.
9
SPEAKER_02
Thank you for calling in, honeys.
9
SPEAKER_02
Love you.
9
SPEAKER_02
Great one.
9
SPEAKER_02
Love you.
9
SPEAKER_00
Hey honeys, um, I was just watching some old podcast and I was watching the one where you guys call Libby, um, while she s at the club.
9
SPEAKER_00
So this is your sign to call her again and, you know, just see what she s up to, you know, make some stuff up, do what feels right.
9
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, I can feel your hot knife dripping down my throat.
9
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah.
9
SPEAKER_02
Love you, honey.
9
SPEAKER_02
Whoa.
9
SPEAKER_01
Good morning.
9
SPEAKER_01
I love that.
9
SPEAKER_01
He wants us to call Libby again.
9
SPEAKER_02
Should we call Libby?
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, let s call.
9
SPEAKER_01
We always have the worst luck with calls, but it s still fun to call people.
9
SPEAKER_02
Let me hook up my phone.
9
SPEAKER_02
Isn t she recording her podcast?
9
SPEAKER_02
Could be.
9
SPEAKER_02
She might still answer.
9
SPEAKER_02
She may not.
9
SPEAKER_02
Let me call her.
9
SPEAKER_02
Here we go.
9
SPEAKER_01
What are you going to say?
9
SPEAKER_02
We ll just say... You just got a small talk.
9
SPEAKER_02
I m just gonna say, hey, what you doing?
9
SPEAKER_01
We should ask her to do something, though.
9
SPEAKER_01
Like, um, we should ask her... something.
9
SPEAKER_02
Let s ask her to fuck Mary Keel.
9
SPEAKER_02
Ronnie Millsap, Stevie Wonder, or Jesse McCartney.
9
SPEAKER_01
And maybe, like, one trivial question or something.
9
SPEAKER_02
Well, you know we have a bad rep of people not answering our phone calls, so let me try calling her.
9
SPEAKER_01
Let s ask her what nine times seven is.
9
SPEAKER_01
Maybe.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yellow.
9
SPEAKER_02
Hey, honeys, me here.
9
SPEAKER_01
Hey, honeys.
9
SPEAKER_01
The viral podcast.
9
SPEAKER_01
Hey, honeys.
9
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
9
SPEAKER_02
Both of you guys sound crystal clear.
9
SPEAKER_02
Hello.
9
SPEAKER_02
And Maggie s here.
9
SPEAKER_02
We got you on the viral podcast, honeys.
9
SPEAKER_02
Oh, fuck yeah.
9
SPEAKER_02
Am I live on the eight?
9
SPEAKER_02
Oh, and Brett, too?
9
SPEAKER_01
You re live.
9
SPEAKER_02
We re live.
9
SPEAKER_02
Wow.
9
SPEAKER_01
What you doing?
9
SPEAKER_02
Well, I m up at my storage space.
9
SPEAKER_02
Uh, I recorded a podcast.
9
SPEAKER_02
Nice.
9
SPEAKER_02
And now I m going to go back to my home and relax for a few minutes before Tina gets here.
9
SPEAKER_02
Look at us just podcasting it up today.
9
SPEAKER_02
Just working.
9
SPEAKER_02
You guys are all just doing it.
9
SPEAKER_01
Hey Libby.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
Do you know what nine times seven is?
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_02
What is it?
9
SPEAKER_02
Um,
9
SPEAKER_01
Don t be using a calculator.
9
SPEAKER_01
Time s a ticking.
9
SPEAKER_01
You guys really put me on the spot here.
9
56?
9
SPEAKER_02
Is it 56?
9
SPEAKER_01
Sure.
9
SPEAKER_02
We don t know.
9
SPEAKER_02
Or 63?
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_02
What is it, Brent?
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, 63.
9
SPEAKER_02
Okay, you got it right.
9
SPEAKER_02
56 is 8 times 7.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_02
Hey, honeys, don t call me with math questions.
9
SPEAKER_02
I wasn t ready for that.
9
SPEAKER_02
And hey, we re going to ask you a fuck Mary kick.
9
SPEAKER_02
Libby doesn t like to do kill.
9
SPEAKER_02
So we re going to do a fuck Mary kick.
9
SPEAKER_02
Fuck Mary, kick him right in the pussy.
9
SPEAKER_02
Thanks for remembering that I don t like him.
9
SPEAKER_02
I got you, honeys.
9
SPEAKER_02
Ronnie Millsap.
9
SPEAKER_02
I feel like I m listened to.
9
SPEAKER_02
OK, so I m ready.
9
SPEAKER_02
Ronnie Millsap.
9
SPEAKER_02
OK.
9
SPEAKER_01
The fact that Libby, two weeks ago, told us, I hate fuck, marry, kills, and we call her with a fuck, marry, kill.
9
SPEAKER_01
We ll call her with a fuck, marry, kick.
9
SPEAKER_01
I know, but it s just funny that that all lined up like that.
9
SPEAKER_02
Ronnie Millsap, Stevie Wonder, Stevie Wonder.
9
SPEAKER_02
Or Jessie.
9
SPEAKER_02
Jessie McCartney.
9
SPEAKER_02
Okay, so you have two people that are seeing impaired, visually impaired.
9
SPEAKER_01
Right.
9
SPEAKER_01
Seeing nothing.
9
SPEAKER_02
Is that on purpose?
9
SPEAKER_02
No.
9
SPEAKER_02
Okay, so I don t know anything.
9
SPEAKER_02
Which one do I start with?
9
SPEAKER_02
Fuck.
9
SPEAKER_02
Fuck?
9
SPEAKER_02
I m gonna fuck Ronnie Millsap.
9
SPEAKER_02
Okay.
9
SPEAKER_02
I m gonna be honest with you.
9
SPEAKER_02
I have always wanted to bone him.
9
SPEAKER_02
That s what I said.
9
SPEAKER_02
Holy shit.
9
SPEAKER_02
Uh, Stevie Wonder?
9
SPEAKER_02
I m gonna have to marry him.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yep, that s what I said.
9
SPEAKER_02
And the other guy?
9
SPEAKER_02
I m gonna kick him because I don t know really anything about him.
9
SPEAKER_02
Did he pass away?
9
SPEAKER_02
No.
9
SPEAKER_01
No.
9
SPEAKER_02
He s like, alive and well.
9
SPEAKER_01
What was the song again?
9
SPEAKER_01
I don t want another pretty face.
9
SPEAKER_02
I don t want you and your beautiful soul.
9
SPEAKER_02
Oh, I do like that song.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_02
I would have to kick him just because he s, you know, he s young and he would not want to put up with me being elderly and old and all that.
9
SPEAKER_02
Well, hey, Libby, shout out your podcast for everybody.
9
SPEAKER_02
Listen, Libby s got a podcast that she films in a storage unit.
9
SPEAKER_02
Go ahead, Libby.
9
SPEAKER_02
It s actually called storage.
9
SPEAKER_02
Um, and I came up with that name by myself, but it s called storage podcast with Libby Higgins and, uh,
9
SPEAKER_02
If you want to listen to it, that would be awesome.
9
SPEAKER_02
It s a comedy podcast and it s really good.
9
SPEAKER_02
So all the rock fuckers, please go support Libby and listen to the storage podcast.
9
SPEAKER_01
Oh, and she has her storage unit decorated.
9
SPEAKER_01
So cute.
9
SPEAKER_01
It s nice.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_02
I also do Slop City with Tina Deball.
9
SPEAKER_02
If I don t say that, she s going to get on my ass.
9
SPEAKER_02
Slop City podcast with Tina Deball.
9
SPEAKER_02
We re podcasting it up.
9
SPEAKER_02
Libby, thank you for answering our phone call.
9
SPEAKER_01
I love you, Libby.
9
SPEAKER_01
Thanks for having me.
9
SPEAKER_01
Love ya, honeys.
9
SPEAKER_01
Love y all.
9
SPEAKER_01
Love you, Libby.
9
SPEAKER_01
Bye-bye.
9
SPEAKER_01
Love you.
9
SPEAKER_01
Bye.
9
SPEAKER_01
Bye-bye.
9
SPEAKER_02
Oh, she answered.
9
SPEAKER_02
We finally got a call.
9
SPEAKER_02
We broke the curse.
9
SPEAKER_01
We got a call.
9
SPEAKER_01
We got a call, Shredder.
9
SPEAKER_01
Shredder.
9
SPEAKER_01
Shredder.
9
SPEAKER_01
Freaking Libby.
9
SPEAKER_02
Love her.
9
SPEAKER_01
Love her.
9
SPEAKER_01
She s someone you can just sit in a room with and just go... Just say nothing but sing all day.
9
SPEAKER_02
Ten minutes can go by of silence and then I ll just look at her and go, fuck.
9
SPEAKER_02
It should go, fuck you.
9
SPEAKER_02
And then we set in others to silence for 10 minutes.
9
SPEAKER_02
That s it.
9
SPEAKER_01
Jasmine called me yesterday and was like, Paige, remember when you were in high school and you rolled down the window and you said, fuck you, you screamed it at this truck driver?
9
SPEAKER_01
Because I just used to do that to, you know, in high school.
9
SPEAKER_01
That s just something fun to do.
9
SPEAKER_01
And she s like, and you actually screamed it at somebody that me and Brady fucking hated because he scammed us with money and shit.
9
SPEAKER_01
I was like, no, but that s good.
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
9
SPEAKER_01
She just thought that I knew the beef and was like fuck you to some random dude, but that s funny aligned perfectly That s perfect.
9
SPEAKER_02
That s the universe really hanging out with you yelling shit So fun, especially when you re in a car and you can t get got yeah, you just drive away You can t get God again
9
SPEAKER_02
You get them, and then you go.
9
SPEAKER_02
Yeah, get and go.
9
SPEAKER_02
All right, let s hit it.
9
SPEAKER_02
Let s hit that next call, baby.
9
SPEAKER_03
Hey, Chelsea and Paige, this is Carl from New York, and no, not the city.
9
SPEAKER_03
I got a stupid question for you.
9
SPEAKER_03
Do you girls prefer tongue-piercing or no tongue-piercing?
9
SPEAKER_03
Stupid question.
9
SPEAKER_03
I love y all, too.
9
SPEAKER_03
Keep up the good work, and on top of that,
9
SPEAKER_02
Oh, yeah?
9
SPEAKER_02
Carl.
9
SPEAKER_02
Carl.
9
SPEAKER_02
Carl, thank you for calling in from New York, not city.
9
SPEAKER_01
Where s the, uh... Hmm.
9
SPEAKER_02
New York and not the city.
9
SPEAKER_02
Tongue piercings are no tongue piercings.
9
SPEAKER_01
For a guy?
9
SPEAKER_01
I thought they could get pretty wrapped up in bacteria and start, like, hurting and... I don t think anything can unless you clean it properly, right?
9
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I don t love when people bring the piercing up to their teeth and like chew on it, though.
9
SPEAKER_02
I ve never had my pussy licked by anyone with a tongue piercing, so I don t know what that s like.
9
SPEAKER_02
Now, I used to want one.
9
SPEAKER_02
In high school, I was like, oh, I want a tongue piercing and a nose piercing.
9
SPEAKER_02
I just never did it.
9
SPEAKER_03
I feel like you d look good with it.
9
SPEAKER_01
Could you imagine Chelsea with her tongue pierced?
10
SPEAKER_05
Uh-uh.
10
SPEAKER_05
Uh-uh.
10
SPEAKER_03
Oh, my God.
10
SPEAKER_05
Uh-uh.
10
SPEAKER_05
For some reason, no, right?
10
SPEAKER_05
Mm-mm.
10
SPEAKER_03
I thought I wanted my belly button pierced.
10
SPEAKER_05
That used to be the thing.
10
SPEAKER_03
Mm-hmm.
10
SPEAKER_03
With that little playboy thing coming out.
10
SPEAKER_03
Mm-hmm.
10
SPEAKER_03
Dangling down.
10
SPEAKER_05
Little diamond dangling down.
10
SPEAKER_05
You see all these, like, 12-year-olds having it?
10
SPEAKER_03
Oh, yeah.
10
SPEAKER_05
With the playboy.
10
SPEAKER_05
I never had that either.
10
SPEAKER_05
I never did none of that.
10
SPEAKER_03
I mean, if anybody wants to lick my pussy, just do it.
10
SPEAKER_03
I m not going to be picky on the tongue.
10
SPEAKER_05
I wonder how different it feels.
10
SPEAKER_03
Maybe just a little ball.
10
SPEAKER_03
You probably don t even feel it.
10
SPEAKER_00
Right.
10
SPEAKER_00
It better be sterling silver.
10
SPEAKER_03
Why is that?
10
SPEAKER_00
Because she ll, you know, she gets a little metal reaction.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh, yeah.
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_03
Just make sure it s real gold or pure gold.
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I only want the pure gold tongue or copper.
10
SPEAKER_03
Ooh, that might do something to you.
10
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, I don t know.
10
SPEAKER_05
I would like to try that.
10
SPEAKER_05
That d be something to try, but it s not something I ve ever thought about, you know?
10
SPEAKER_05
So I m gonna go 50-50.
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I guess we ll try it out and we ll let you know.
10
SPEAKER_05
Carl, you got your tongue pierced?
10
SPEAKER_05
You looking to lick some pussies?
10
SPEAKER_05
Let us know.
10
SPEAKER_03
called the right number.
10
SPEAKER_05
You called the right number.
10
SPEAKER_05
You found the right girls.
10
SPEAKER_03
Let us know and we ll call you back.
10
SPEAKER_05
We ll call you back.
10
SPEAKER_05
Let us know.
10
SPEAKER_03
Maggie, have you had your tongue eaten?
10
SPEAKER_03
I mean, your pussy eaten?
10
SPEAKER_05
I think so, but I can t remember.
10
SPEAKER_05
Okay.
10
SPEAKER_05
I don t remember it feeling any different.
10
SPEAKER_05
That s what I m saying.
10
SPEAKER_05
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_05
Because they re licking with the tip of the tongue and the ball is not on the tip.
10
SPEAKER_05
It s kind of further back.
10
SPEAKER_05
So you d have to like,
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_03
I don t know.
10
SPEAKER_03
Do our insides have gills?
10
SPEAKER_05
I don t think so.
10
SPEAKER_03
Cause I ve always wondered when men have their, the tip of their dicks pierced, if that could get caught up.
10
SPEAKER_00
In the walls?
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_03
The pussy walls and mess it up because I ve been pretty messed up from a fingernail.
10
SPEAKER_00
Oh God.
10
SPEAKER_00
It gets pretty spongy in there, you know?
10
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_03
Little sponge cake.
10
SPEAKER_05
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_05
I don t know about that.
10
SPEAKER_05
We ll just have to try it and see.
10
SPEAKER_05
If your dick s pierced, call in.
10
SPEAKER_01
What a risk that is, I feel.
10
SPEAKER_05
Every time we say, hey, if you do this, call us, nobody ever does.
10
SPEAKER_03
They could when we dismissed them.
10
SPEAKER_05
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_05
We get a lot of calls.
10
SPEAKER_05
Thank y all for calling in.
10
SPEAKER_03
And anything we want to try, call in so we can try it.
10
SPEAKER_05
We get a lot of calls, and we appreciate you guys calling us.
10
SPEAKER_05
You guys keep the pod going.
10
SPEAKER_05
We love you.
10
SPEAKER_03
Love you.
10
SPEAKER_05
Thank you for calling in, Carl.
10
SPEAKER_03
Great question.
10
SPEAKER_03
Love you, Carl.
10
SPEAKER_05
Love you.
10
SPEAKER_05
This is the last call.
10
SPEAKER_03
Last call!
10
SPEAKER_03
Carl!
10
SPEAKER_03
Girls, line up.
10
SPEAKER_03
Girls, follow the other girl.
10
SPEAKER_02
Hey, honeys.
10
SPEAKER_02
Mitzi here.
10
SPEAKER_02
So I have a confession.
10
SPEAKER_02
I have to confess that when Paige and Chelsea do the demon, the fucking, the demon thing, you know, where Chelsea s like, you know, oh my God, who s fucking me?
10
SPEAKER_02
And then,
10
SPEAKER_02
Paige comes in, it s me, it s me.
10
SPEAKER_02
I m fucking you.
10
SPEAKER_02
I can t do it like her.
10
SPEAKER_02
But so when Paige does that, it turns me on and it doesn t matter like where I m at, where I m listening to it kind of makes me a little, I m just going to say it turns me on.
10
SPEAKER_02
So yeah, um, makes me confused a little bit.
10
SPEAKER_02
Um, because I,
10
SPEAKER_02
Don t know what that means.
10
SPEAKER_02
Um, I do like when me and my boyfriend are, are doing it and he grunts and you know, he makes his man sounds and all that stuff.
10
SPEAKER_02
But the demon thing, like, I don t know.
10
SPEAKER_02
Maybe I should ask him to start talking like a demon.
10
SPEAKER_02
I m a little confused here, girls.
10
SPEAKER_02
Anyways.
10
SPEAKER_02
I just want to thank you guys because I love everything that you guys do.
10
SPEAKER_02
You make us laugh.
10
SPEAKER_02
You make us feel loved.
10
SPEAKER_02
You ve gotten me through some really dark times.
10
SPEAKER_02
And it doesn t matter where I m at, if I m listening to you guys, sometimes I just listen to you guys just to go to sleep.
10
SPEAKER_02
And I just want to let you know that everything you guys are doing
10
SPEAKER_02
It s appreciated very much.
10
SPEAKER_02
So, okay.
10
SPEAKER_02
Well, I m getting sappy here.
10
SPEAKER_02
I just wanted to confess.
10
SPEAKER_02
The demon makes me wet.
10
SPEAKER_02
So thank you girls.
10
SPEAKER_02
Oh yeah.
10
SPEAKER_02
Montlicky baby.
10
SPEAKER_05
She threw in a Montlicky baby.
10
SPEAKER_05
Damn.
10
SPEAKER_05
Honeys love you.
10
SPEAKER_05
Thank you for the love and for the support and for the kind words.
10
SPEAKER_05
We love you back.
10
SPEAKER_05
We love everyone listening.
10
SPEAKER_03
We love you guys.
10
SPEAKER_03
loving that Damien can turn somebody on.
10
SPEAKER_05
I don t, she said, I know that s weird, I know that s, I don t think it is.
10
SPEAKER_05
I think, I think you like.
10
SPEAKER_03
Maybe just deep grunts.
10
SPEAKER_05
You like some grunts and you like some dirty talk and you like, who s fucking you?
10
SPEAKER_05
You know, you like that, that s fine.
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, that is fine.
10
SPEAKER_03
Hopefully your husband has a deep voice.
10
SPEAKER_05
Oh my God, I was just sitting here and now I feel a cock in me.
10
SPEAKER_05
Yeah, is that Missy?
10
SPEAKER_05
Oh, my God, who is that?
10
SPEAKER_05
Me.
10
SPEAKER_05
Me who?
10
Turn around.
10
SPEAKER_05
Oh, my God.
10
SPEAKER_04
It s me, Damien.
10
SPEAKER_05
Oh, my God.
10
SPEAKER_05
You re fucking me.
10
SPEAKER_04
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_05
Oh my God, you have me bent over and your cock is in me.
10
SPEAKER_05
Oh, my cock is so hard.
10
SPEAKER_05
Oh my God, your cock is so hard.
10
SPEAKER_05
Oh my God, and it s throbbing.
10
SPEAKER_05
Oh, I love your balls.
10
SPEAKER_05
Oh my God, are you gonna come inside my pussy?
10
SPEAKER_05
Yes.
10
SPEAKER_04
Oh my God.
10
SPEAKER_04
Yes, baby girl.
10
SPEAKER_04
Yeah, give it to daddy.
10
SPEAKER_05
Are you gonna come?
10
SPEAKER_05
Coming.
10
SPEAKER_04
Where s your sister?
10
SPEAKER_05
My breath!
10
SPEAKER_04
Get out of here, bitch!
10
SPEAKER_04
Here, let me spread my legs.
10
SPEAKER_04
I m gonna stack you up like rocks.
10
SPEAKER_04
I m coming.
10
SPEAKER_04
Oh, Damien!
10
SPEAKER_04
The stack.
10
SPEAKER_04
Thank you.
10
SPEAKER_05
I love how Damien always says thank you after he comes.
10
SPEAKER_05
He s nice.
10
SPEAKER_05
He loves his girls.
10
SPEAKER_05
Oh, we got a little Damien in the studio for you.
10
SPEAKER_05
I was going to say, we need to set that down so we could see it better.
10
SPEAKER_05
That was for Missy.
10
SPEAKER_05
If you follow me on Instagrams and you watch my Instagram stories, this is going to look familiar to you.
10
SPEAKER_05
If you don t, you re probably going to say, the fuck is that?
10
SPEAKER_03
I m going to go molt fucky.
10
SPEAKER_03
Very pumpkin-y, too.
10
SPEAKER_05
Hey honey, it s Damien here.
10
SPEAKER_03
Hey honey, it s Aardvark.
10
SPEAKER_03
Hey honey, it s Damien in the, uh... Nice.
10
SPEAKER_05
Isn t that cute?
10
SPEAKER_05
Isn t that cute?
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, he is a cute guy, so... We found this at an antique store in Alabama.
10
SPEAKER_05
And it was $300, and it s made out of human teeth, and probably like, what s it called, paper mache?
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, something.
10
SPEAKER_05
And it looks like a little demon devil.
10
SPEAKER_05
Look at the ears.
10
SPEAKER_05
And it s real teeth.
10
SPEAKER_03
God, this thing is so creepy.
10
SPEAKER_05
And it was $300, and I thought, I m not spending $300 on that.
10
SPEAKER_05
Well, we left, and I kept thinking, should have got that for the podcast room.
10
SPEAKER_05
Well, Biffy surprised me with it.
10
SPEAKER_05
She called and bought it, and they shipped it here.
10
SPEAKER_05
So we have Damien in studio with us, that is Damien.
10
SPEAKER_03
So cute.
10
SPEAKER_05
That s Damien.
10
SPEAKER_03
This is Damien.
10
SPEAKER_05
Right here.
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I was wondering what the hell that was, because Tina was telling me like, oh, she s like, Venmo Beth, we have to get Chelsea this thing.
10
SPEAKER_03
And I was like, what the fuck is it?
10
SPEAKER_03
And she showed me that.
10
SPEAKER_03
I m like, why the fuck is that $300?
10
SPEAKER_03
I didn t know that.
10
SPEAKER_03
It s the human teeth.
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I don t know.
10
SPEAKER_03
What s that?
10
SPEAKER_05
Oh, Biffy, you can tell me later.
10
SPEAKER_05
Oh, but what was I gonna say?
10
SPEAKER_05
I put it on my Instagram story and everybody was like, you better save your house!
10
SPEAKER_03
Why?
10
SPEAKER_05
Because they think it s gonna bring in negative energies, but it s only brought in bright, colorful, amazing energies.
10
SPEAKER_03
It s only brought in positive energies, and we got our first call from Libby.
10
SPEAKER_03
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_03
It s fucking great.
10
SPEAKER_05
Yeah.
10
SPEAKER_03
But when I saw a picture of that thing, I was so confused.
11
SPEAKER_03
Like, where the fuck did Chelsea find that?
11
SPEAKER_03
So that s Damien.
11
SPEAKER_03
So thank you for loving Damien and for loving Paige s voice.
11
SPEAKER_03
I don t think it s weird.
11
SPEAKER_03
I think, you know, ask your boyfriend to grunt and moan some more.
11
SPEAKER_03
He may love it.
11
SPEAKER_02
And that s that if not just keep we should do a whole segment of just moaning Yeah for 15 minutes straight.
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SPEAKER_02
Well, it s oh damn All of us just not stopping for 15 minutes.
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SPEAKER_03
That s a long time Everybody unsubscribes from us.
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SPEAKER_03
They re like, yeah We re out on that one a whole sex scene layout.
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SPEAKER_03
Yeah, I
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SPEAKER_03
It could be something.
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SPEAKER_03
We re on to something.
11
SPEAKER_02
How do you know those are real teeth?
11
SPEAKER_03
Well, because they look like real teeth and they feel like real teeth.
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SPEAKER_03
But I don t know.
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SPEAKER_02
Beth, did you ask?
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SPEAKER_02
No, but they look like real teeth.
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SPEAKER_03
They re real teeth.
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SPEAKER_03
They are.
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SPEAKER_02
Who made that, Steve and Avery?
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SPEAKER_03
I don t know.
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SPEAKER_03
John Wayne Gacy.
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SPEAKER_03
Someone just made it.
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SPEAKER_03
Someone just made it and they did a good job.
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SPEAKER_03
They did a really good job.
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SPEAKER_02
Check out the YouTube if you re wondering.
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SPEAKER_03
Yeah, if you wanna know what we re talking about, check that out.
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SPEAKER_02
Are we really done for the day?
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SPEAKER_03
We re done.
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SPEAKER_02
Are you okay, Tilti?
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SPEAKER_03
I m fine.
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SPEAKER_03
But if you guys want more of our podcast, go to my Patreon, PagesOF.
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SPEAKER_03
We post an extra little mini slits only episode on there every Friday.
11
SPEAKER_03
We have other stuff on there too, so just go to our Instagram bios.
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SPEAKER_02
And we ll friggin  show you what you need to see.
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SPEAKER_03
Yeah, if you want to see something, we ll show you.
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SPEAKER_02
Little malt teddy.
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SPEAKER_02
Okay, and call in if you... Give us a confession.
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SPEAKER_02
Give us good confessions.
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SPEAKER_03
Juicy confession.
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SPEAKER_03
We won t say your name or nothing.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah, if you don t want your name said, just don t say it.
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SPEAKER_02
Just make sure it s a good one.
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SPEAKER_02
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_02
And let us know if you have anything else going on, and don t forget our podcast merch is theviralpodcast.co.
11
SPEAKER_02
Don t forget to follow Maggie and Brett and Beth and everyone.
11
SPEAKER_03
Yep.
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SPEAKER_02
And we love you.
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SPEAKER_03
We love our super spreaders.
11
SPEAKER_00
You guys got 5.0 stars on the reviews.
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SPEAKER_00
That s amazing.
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SPEAKER_00
4.4 thousand.
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SPEAKER_03
That s rare.
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SPEAKER_02
Thank you guys so much for keeping us at five.
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SPEAKER_03
You know how rare that is?
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SPEAKER_03
We appreciate you guys for helping us take over the world.
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SPEAKER_02
Dude, we have five stars.
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SPEAKER_02
Oh my gosh.
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SPEAKER_03
We love you.
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SPEAKER_02
Okay, give us a call at 442-777-3331.
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SPEAKER_02
And always remember, you re doing great.
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SPEAKER_02
You re looking good.
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SPEAKER_01
And fuck what everybody else thinks.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh Bobby, he s gorgeous.
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SPEAKER_03
Oh, it don t matter?