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In this episode of the Advanced Selling Podcast, we share an unfortunate Bruno Mars debate that lands a man in jail, Bill talks about vaping, sort of, and we ll tell you how to handle your next connector meeting.
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Welcome, everybody, to the Advanced Selling Podcast, the longest-running sales training podcast in world history.
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My name is Brian Neal.
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I m Bill Kasky.
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And we are here every week for your listening enjoyment.
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We re glad you re here.
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If you re new, welcome to the club.
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Go join the LinkedIn group.
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We re pushing up on 10,000.
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Really close.
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Are we 10,000?
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Almost.
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Close to it.
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We re going to think about giving a big prize away.
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I ll tell you what the big prize is later.
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But we re only going to think about it.
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We ve got great laptop stickers.
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I ll tell you, they re fantastic.
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And also, we re on the road to have us come visit you.
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Super simple process.
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All you do is send us an email.
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In the subject line, put, come see us.
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And we will talk to you about what it takes to get us to come out to your company s sales retreat, event, awards trip, whatever that is for you.
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We d love to come out and do it.
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We will sometimes record a live podcast or two, which is fun.
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We ll do some of our normal sales coaching and stuff from the stage.
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And I promise you, it ll be a fun event.
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Email us, listener at advancedsellingpodcast.com.
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Put in the subject line, come see us.
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All right?
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A few weeks ago, there was an incident here in our state.
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We are operating from Indiana, right in the Midwest.
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And there was an incident with a guy who pistol whipped his friend of 50 years.
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over a disagreement, and tell us what that disagreement was, Brian.
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And then I ve got something else that happened that I think links with that.
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Yes, and if you listen to this show regularly, you know Bill and I like to talk about music trivia and who sings what.
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And so far in our long-term, 20-year-plus friendship and our debates over who sings what song, we ve never gotten to this point.
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But apparently two men who were friends for over 50 years were sitting on the porch.
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And as the article says, one man was accused of reaching for his handgun instead of his Shazam app.
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Roger Washburn, 71, is facing a charge of battery.
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after a Friday night incident in Greenwood, Indiana.
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And what happened, they were arguing over whether or not Bruno Mars sang a song.
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And when the friend proved via Shazam that Bruno Mars did, in fact, sing the song, the argument got more heated, and Roger Hare pulled out his pistol and pistol whipped his friend of 50 years once he found out that it was Bruno Mars singing the song.
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So.
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OK.
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A couple of questions here.
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Number one, was alcohol involved?
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I m going to go out on a limb and say, yes.
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OK.
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Sitting on the porch.
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OK.
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And number two, when I heard about the story and read it, I didn t even care, because nobody died.
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So I didn t have any grief in my heart.
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But what I was really curious about, they never said in there, and that was, what was the song they were arguing?
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Wouldn t you want to know that?
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I mean, isn t that really the only thing that matters?
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And who else?
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What was the other artist that the Pistol Whippee thought the Pistol Whippee?
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Because there s a certain couple of songs by Bruno Mars that if I had, you know, thought that I might have pistol whipped somebody too.
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I might have gotten really mad if you re telling me, you know, that.
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I like Bruno Mars.
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When I was your man.
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So here is another story that just came across that I thought was interesting and kind of fits the same thing.
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King George Island is in the Antarctic, and it s a Russian island.
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It s a Russian property or country.
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Territory.
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Territory, yeah.
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And there are two scientists there who are in this research station, and they ve been there for four years alone.
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And here s the headline, Antarctic Scientist Stabbed Colleague on Remote Research Station Because He Kept Telling Him the Endings of Books.
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No way.
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I swear.
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King Jordan, they spent four years together.
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And finally, the guy had had it.
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Because I guess all you do there is read.
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I mean, I don t know what else there is to do.
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And he kept telling him the ending, so he shot him.
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We re in much better shape here at the Advanced Sling Podcast.
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So we just shot him.
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That s hilarious.
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Well, I probably would have shot you if we were together for four years, period, no matter where it was.
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Maybe we should do, you know how they used to do the radio-a-thons to raise money for like the Children s Hospital?
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Maybe we should do a podcast-a-thon.
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Bill and I will sit in here for 48 hours straight.
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One of us kills each other.
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One of us pistol whips the other.
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Well, Brian, the holidays are right around the corner.
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I know you don t like Halloween, but I know you love Christmas and Thanksgiving, and it s a great time to use CardsDirect.com greeting cards with your customers, your employees and business associates.
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Yes, we live in a digital age, but customers and associates are craving something more personal.
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Greeting cards are tangible, friendly and memorable, and they leave a longer-lasting impression than digital.
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I got some from Cards Direct here a few weeks ago.
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I ve used probably 30 of them and got some great comments and it s just nice.
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It just feels good to write a little note, nothing long because nobody can read my writing anyway, so I can t write anything long, and just send it out.
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I think it s a nice touch.
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As a sales professional, you can do greeting card marketing in conjunction with digital marketing.
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It s welcoming.
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It s personal, it s a great way to keep in touch.
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CardsDirect.com offers greeting cards for a new era.
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They re custom.
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They can be branded with your logo, photos, company colors and more.
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You can also personalize the interior message and upload signatures right into the cards.
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Can Cards provide a sustainable ROI?
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Yes.
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You want proof?
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Go to CardsDirect.com slash ASP.
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There was a case study there.
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The best part, advanced selling podcast listeners can go to CardsDirect.com slash ASP, same page, for 25% off your order plus free shipping.
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That s CardsDirect.com slash ASP.
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OK, topic is Brian and I coach a lot of people, companies, and we have a lot of individual one-to-one coaching as part of those programs.
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And we are constantly hearing issues and situations and problems and circumstances that we coach.
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And so a lot of the content for the show comes from that.
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We ll start, and I ll say, Brian, what do you got this week?
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And he ll relay a couple of things.
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And I ll typically say, those are not good at all.
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Let s take one of mine.
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A lot of times we hear things and they make perfect podcast topics.
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And so I have one here where one of our clients, actually, that we share together.
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does a lot of center of influence marketing.
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And as I understand center of influence, you re much better at it than I am, but it s where you might meet with a banker or an attorney, somebody that has, that s a center of influence for a lot of people who might be prospects for you.
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The whole goal is not to just to go get a referral, it s to really just brainstorm, maybe you have some things for them, maybe they have some things for you, just make connections.
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So centers of influence in certain industries are really big.
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So, um, I talked to this gentleman and he was struggling with what exactly to say at those meetings.
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And so I thought, you know what, I bet a lot of people listening have those meetings.
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Maybe they re not, maybe it s not like you have one a week, but occasionally you ll meet with somebody who could be a center of influence.
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And I thought it d be useful to talk about what, what is included in that meeting.
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I think it s a great topic, Bill, and I appreciate you bringing it to the show.
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This is one of my favorite things to talk about.
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And I think it s one of the most useful things that salespeople can do is to create relationships and conversations and meetings with people
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who, as Bill said, can introduce you to other people who might be end users or other connectors.
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And I just have found that to be a very effective, efficient way and a very good karmic way to build a business up if you re a sales professional.
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And I would agree that not only do people not necessarily know what to say, my experience has told me that they also will not do the behavior because they don t know what to say.
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And when I say, why don t you have more connector meetings?
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And I call it connector, center of influence, the same thing.
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They ll say, well, I m not really sure what I m supposed to talk to them about.
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And people really do get stuck.
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And it s kind of interesting, because sometimes I m, you know, this is bad.
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But I go, you really don t know?
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But they really don t.
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And so there s clearly some, I think, some- Comma, you moron.
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You took a little bit.
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Well, I m obviously saying that without saying it.
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I can t say that to my clients.
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That s not very nice.
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But I understand now.
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I m like, you know what?
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People really don t know.
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No, that s right.
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And they ve never been coached or trained.
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So the purpose of this podcast, if you re one of those, is to say, uh, maybe I can get the gumption out to go have more of these.
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And if you already have them, hopefully what you hear here today will help you strengthen them and make them better.
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Yeah, I love it.
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I think it s a great topic.
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So let s talk about the mindset as we go into those meetings before we get into the flow of the meeting.
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I mean, you ve been a target of these where someone says, hey, let s get together for lunch.
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Brian, I d love to pick your brain on some things, love to connect.
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And really what they re looking for is referrals.
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They re looking for introductions.
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And they just happen to have their LinkedIn list 75 pages of people, and they want you to go through it and tell.
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So what s the proper mindset?
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I ve got an idea, but I want to hear from you.
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Proper mindset going in.
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It s funny, because Bill and I prep.
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We prep separately, like in soundproof chambers.
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And we re not released until we re ready, until the lights are green.
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And then we come out.
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And the first thing I have is a mindset thing, without question.
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And I really wrote down one of our core principles and ideas that we talk about here on the podcast, which is
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intention.
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And to me, the intention with which you show up to one of these meetings defines the whole thing going in.
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And unfortunately, when people go out and have connector and center of influence meetings, their intention is to get referrals.
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That s right.
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That s it.
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That s why they show up.
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And it starts in the invite, the energy and the invitation.
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So the, hey, Bill, I mentioned this a long time ago because I heard this from somebody else.
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I don t remember who it was.
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Just the idea of pick your brain.
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One, it s so overused.
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Two, just think of that idea.
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There s not much giving to that.
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I say, Bill, let me pick your brain.
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Like, no problem.
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You want to open it up for it?
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You want to go in the ears, up the nose?
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How do you want to get there?
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It s like, ick.
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You know what I mean?
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It just doesn t feel good.
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What s another one that I hear a lot?
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Hey, I want to learn a little bit more about you and your business, what your goals are.
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Yeah.
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OK.
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Do you really?
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I know that s not true.
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No, of course not.
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Of course not.
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That may be the vehicle to get to the referrals.
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Yes.
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I ve got one here in terms of mindset.
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I think we have to enter these things with just, is it vapid?
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Is that the word?
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Vapid?
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Vapid?
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Vapid means like desolate.
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I don t know.
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Vapid means nothing.
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Vapid nothingness?
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Okay, forget it.
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No expectations.
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No expectations, vapid expectations.
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No expectations.
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I don t expect to get referrals.
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I don t expect to give referrals.
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I m only going because when two human beings come together and talk business and talk about what they re passionate about, something good will come of it.
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Maybe it s just a friendship.
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Maybe it s tickets to the symphony.
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Maybe it s next cult.
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I mean, whatever it is, something good will happen.
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I think the more we try to press it, the more we get resistance.
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Next to my word intention that I typed.
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I m not going to show you my other ones here.
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See what that says.
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I m showing Bill my notes.
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It says expect nothing.
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Isn t that crazy?
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Crazy.
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A little podcast karma here.
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Just talking to ourselves here today.
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It s expect nothing.
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Couldn t agree more.
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Couldn t agree more.
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And I think the same deal.
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People have expectations.
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They think a successful CFI connector meeting means I walk away with three commitments for referrals.
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Because they expect it.
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They can do that, but it doesn t have to.
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And you leaders, you managers, who are promoting that behavior, just relax on what they re going to get out of it.
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Because once you start putting three referrals, unless you re going to say, I m going to give three referrals, your goal should be to give three or make three introductions or whatever.
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That s fine.
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Then they ll reciprocate.
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But I don t think we want to have expectations up front.
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So we now are to the point where we say what what happens during that meeting?
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Yes The person that I was coaching on this said and rightfully so he was good He says, you know, I just really show up to listen and I thought that s really good.
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That s a thing We want to we don t want to be talking so we want to be listening but at some point Don t you have to say something?
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At some point, a person who you re meeting with, you might ask them some questions, they may say something, and then they ll look at you and say, so tell me, what s going on with you and your business?
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You ve got to have some kind of something to bring to the table.
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Always.
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Always, always.
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Here s what I think that something should be.
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Ready?
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Ready.
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And you can shoot this down with a- I doubt it.
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You can pistol whip me.
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We keep coming.
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I love that.
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Let s get a little, I don t know.
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How mad do you have to be to pistol whip somebody?
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You have to be pretty mad.
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Especially if it s a friend.
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That s one of those things, like, can you pistol whip someone with a shotgun?
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Or is it just a pistol?
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I think it s just a pistol.
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The shotgun whipped me, or he cinderblock whipped me.
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He AR-15 whipped me.
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You know what I mean?
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Probably shouldn t make light of this, but I m just wondering, because you only hear pistol whip, and you never hear other things.
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And you only hear it in Indiana, with alcohol.
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He sledgehammer whipped me.
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Fortunately, he used the handle.
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Well, I got iPhone whipped one time.
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You did?
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So here s my first thing.
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I think you have to share with the person you re meeting the mission that you re on and the cause that you are Pursuing.
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Yeah, so if if you re in a business where you are selling cancer drugs, this is a terrible example Let s just talk about that because it s definitely a cure.
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It s definitely needed.
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It s a problem solution and
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You go out and you start talking about how great your cancer drugs are.
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It only goes so far.
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But if you say, look, we ve been researching this cancer business over the last 20 years.
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And what we re realizing is three things are happening.
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Number one, incident rates going way up, especially of this type and this type.
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Number two, blah, blah, blah.
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Number three, and so we have designed a company that has its sole mission of solving the problem by bringing cancer rates down.
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And we do that through some solutions.
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So our mission is very simple, blah, blah.
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The person knows that you re not just there selling stuff.
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There s a higher cause.
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And I think we ve got to figure out the higher cause in our business.
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And some businesses are easier than others.
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The client we work with, it s a little easier in that business.
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But I think you ve got to figure out, what is your cause?
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And that can be one of the things you share in those COI meetings.
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I love that.
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Yeah, it s a great question.
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So you should be your prep to take Bill s thing.
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I m thinking of putting my own voice that you have to have.
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I have to say, OK, what flag am I carrying?
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What s my cause?
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Yeah, prep to go in there.
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I really like doing that.
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That s really good advice.
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Next, on the other side of that, I think it s really important to understand the personal motive of the person I m meeting with.
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And here s how it s different.
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Some people say, so tell me about your business.
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That s going to get your real flat answer.
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well, I ve been training for 20 years, and I ve got a couple of programs, and I do this, da-da-da-da-da.
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Instead, I want to make it more personal about them.
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So I say, so when you re flashing forward, so I m really curious to know from your standpoint, when you re looking at where you re headed business-wise, what s in your way, and where do you need help?
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I m always looking for ways I can be helpful to other people.
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So I might have ideas around the what s in the way part.
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I might have ideas, too, or connections to make.
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And I may not.
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That ll show itself.
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So is that after you ask?
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What s, where are you going, or what are your goals?
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I m a fan of, I m OK if you do the where are you going goals part.
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What I m not so much a fan is to just sort of, so tell me about your business.
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Right.
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You see the difference?
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Yeah, I like that.
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So I like to say, I m always curious to know where people are headed on their path, you know, when you flash forward.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, and then say, and then, you know, what s kind of in the way of that, and where do you need the most help around that?
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Yeah.
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I love that.
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And I know people that I do,
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connector meetings with, when they re connecting with me, some are good at this and some aren t.
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When I kind of replay them in my mind, the ones that say, so tell me about your business, I go, in my mind, I go, jeez, I got to answer this question again.
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I m like, well, it s this and that.
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I do this.
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When someone says, so when you look into 2019, what s your number one thing?
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I m like, when I wake up, I get real excited.
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I lean into that.
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And I think everyone does that when you give them a chance to.
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And if you want to know about their business, you could even say, look, give me a couple minutes on your business.
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Then more importantly, I d love to know where you re going with it, what you re trying to accomplish.
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I ve got, you kind of stole that one from me, so I ve got number three here.
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And that is, the question is now, okay, now what?
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So you ve had this meeting, you ve had coffee, and you ve had a great conversation.
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Let s just say nothing came of it.
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There s no follow-up actions.
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What s next?
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What do you do?
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And I feel like you ve got to have some kind of a,
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process or procedure to follow up, not just to them where you re checking in with them every 30 days.
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Maybe you agree, you know what, Brian, I think we should, you want to do this again?
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Yeah, let s do it first of January.
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And so we can do that.
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But I think even at some point, even those meetings tail off and you re like, you know, we haven t really accomplished much, but you need to stay in front of them.
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So how will you do that?
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And I think some type of,
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You know, email newsletter or something of value.
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Maybe you link to them.
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Obviously, you want to link to them.
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And then anything you publish or shoot for video on LinkedIn, they get access to.
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But I think what happens after that meeting can be more important than what happens at it.
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And to that end, it may be nothing.
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There are connector meetings.
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I ve been connected by people before, where after we meet, we both kind of agree, hey, it s great to know each other.
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Not sure there s anything to do from here, but by all means, I ll see you on LinkedIn or whatever.
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SPEAKER_00
That s OK.
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And there s the other side, which is, hey, this is really good.
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Would you be up for doing this again?
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, maybe next time, why don t we both bring maybe a couple of ideas or a couple of asks or whatever and see if we can turn up to be a little more formal or a little more specific, that sort of thing.
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SPEAKER_00
No, I like that.
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SPEAKER_00
I like that.
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SPEAKER_00
So that leads to my next one.
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So if we have this good connection, I m also OK, as long as you put good context around this, of asking for what you want.
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SPEAKER_00
And what I find people fail at in this oftentimes is they re not precise with their ask.
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And so some people will say, and again, we don t want to do this too soon, because it can rub people the wrong way.
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It might not even be that first meeting.
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It might be the second or third.
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But when I get to the point where someone says, so I d love to connect you to some people.
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How can I help?
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Instead of saying, well, I m a financial planner, and I love to meet high net worth individuals,
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Everybody says that.
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It s way too broad.
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I can say, well, since we ve met a couple of times, I did a little LinkedIn snooping around.
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And there are a couple of people that I was intrigued by that I saw that you were connected to.
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I would love to run the names by you and just see if you felt comfortable putting us together.
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and send an email, fine.
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If you don t, just say that, too.
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So here s a list of three people I d be curious to know.
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So I saw that you re connected to Bill Kasky.
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He s someone I ve been kind of watching from afar, real famous podcaster, great, brilliant author.
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Just from afar.
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Yeah.
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So can you kind of see that?
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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SPEAKER_00
No, I like that.
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Precise ask.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
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Then I d say, yeah, no, Bill really well, that sort of thing.
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SPEAKER_01
Did you notice there was another guy on the podcast, or no?
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SPEAKER_00
So you also might expect them to do the same thing the next time as a reciprocation?
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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And I d never expect that.
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And I always try to coach people.
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The way I can help you the best is to be really specific with what you want.
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Because if you just tell me you want to meet business owners of medium-sized companies, I m never going to follow through on that.
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I m just not.
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I ll be straight up with you.
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But if you tell me you want to meet Tom Smith, I can help you with that one.
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, so I like that.
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SPEAKER_00
I like the framing of it, too.
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SPEAKER_00
Here s who I would love to meet or intrigued about.
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SPEAKER_00
And if you would like to introduce us via email, great.
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SPEAKER_00
If you don t, that s fine, too.
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SPEAKER_00
It really takes the pressure off.
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Because I just find that, you know, how many times, Brian, have you heard somebody say, oh, yeah, no, we re getting together.
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SPEAKER_00
I think we can swap leads over the next couple of years.
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SPEAKER_00
It never happens.
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SPEAKER_00
No, it doesn t happen.
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SPEAKER_00
Or if it does, one person is giving the other person the leads, and that person is doing nothing.
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SPEAKER_01
Unless you just don t swap leads.
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SPEAKER_01
But haven t you heard that all the time?
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SPEAKER_00
Yeah, no, I think we can be partners.
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SPEAKER_00
We re partners in crime.
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We re brothers.
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SPEAKER_01
When we do this, I ll bring a list.
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SPEAKER_01
I got a list of 400.
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SPEAKER_01
I ll bring you.
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SPEAKER_01
You swap some cars.
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SPEAKER_01
Hey, on these next two, use my name, Bill.
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SPEAKER_01
You can use my name on these.
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SPEAKER_00
I hate when people say that.
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SPEAKER_00
The other 98, don t do that.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah, give him a call, and you just use my name.
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SPEAKER_01
Like, what am I supposed to use your name to do?
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SPEAKER_01
Like, should I say it s you?
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SPEAKER_00
That s better than saying, don t tell him I told you to call.
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SPEAKER_01
Don t use my name.
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SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
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Hey, this is Bill Kasky.
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SPEAKER_01
Oh, hey Bill.
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It s not really Bill, it s Brian.
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He told me to use his name though.
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SPEAKER_01
There it is.
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Oh my gosh.
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SPEAKER_01
Anyway, that s it for today s show.
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I hope you enjoyed something there and got something out of that at least.
2
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Go to our LinkedIn group, advancedsellingpodcast.com slash LinkedIn and join the people.
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SPEAKER_01
Get us up to 10,000.
2
SPEAKER_01
And again, if you want us to come out to your venue for a sales meeting, send us an email.
2
SPEAKER_01
Listener in Advanced Selling Podcast, put in the subject line, come see us and we ll start the ball rolling.
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SPEAKER_01
That s it.
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We ll see you next time on Advanced Selling Podcast.
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SPEAKER_01
Bye.