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In this episode of the Advanced Selling Podcast, Bill tells an interesting jury duty story, we continue to distance our millennial audience members with yet another 70s-80s music reference, and we take a lesson from the losers and discuss how to handle it when I lost a deal I should have won.
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Welcome, everybody, to the Advanced Selling Podcast, the longest-running sales training podcast in sales training podcast history.
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My name is Brian Neal.
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I m Bill Kaskin.
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Bill is reaching for the volume control on his headphone, which means I m talking too loudly.
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That s what that means.
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That s pretty much.
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It always means that, that I m too hot in the mic.
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Hey, some of you listened.
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and executed on something we asked you to do a couple of weeks ago.
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So we re going to ask you again.
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We ve had lots of new listeners.
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We ve got a big email list, like a pretty big one, I would say.
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And we re going to invite you, who may be new to the show and haven t plugged yourself into our email database yet,
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Go to this website, ultimate pregame dot com.
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Go to ultimate pregame dot com.
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All you need your email there.
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You ll actually get a really cool tool that you can use that will help you prepare for sales calls.
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That alone is awesome.
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And then you ll be kind of in the mix.
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So when we have products that we re offering to you, people and things like that.
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Also, if you haven t been to our website lately, we have revamped that.
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We don t make a big deal out of, hey, we got a new one.
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But in this case, it s it s a lot better.
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And so
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It gives you a chance to engage with a show, to connect with different episodes, and kind of decide where you want to begin.
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If you re brand new to the podcast, we would suggest you go there.
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Yeah.
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Advancedsellingpodcast.com is the website.
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And then those of you who ve been around for a while, like, you know, I haven t checked out the products page to see what these two have offered me.
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We ve got the old Brand Makeover.
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We still got that up there?
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Yeah.
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Brand Makeover.
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Brand Makeover kit.
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It s great.
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If you re looking to do personal branding for you as a sales pro, that s up there.
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All in is a great program.
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All of our listeners would tell us that s really, really good.
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You ve got to get all in.
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And others.
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And winning the buyer s brain was the other thing we did last year with Brian Gray.
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And that s a really good webinar that s up there for sale.
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Better go to the new website.
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Bring your credit card.
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Just saying.
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Well, Brian, you know that I was chosen for jury.
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Actually, I wasn t chosen for jury duty.
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I was chosen for the jury pool to decide the jury.
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heinous crime that happened down in your neck of the woods down in Southern Indiana and they had to move the The venue because of all the pre-trial publicity and all that well the thing happened five years ago this dude s been sitting in prison and finally they decided I don t know why five years but
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Anyway, so I was in the jury pool.
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Have you ever been to a jury?
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I ve never been in the jury pool.
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I ve been called, and they say, hey, no, thanks.
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Don t need you.
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I ve had that happen plenty of times.
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Yeah.
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Well, basically, there s 100 people there.
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Actually, there were 400 total.
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But 100 people there, and they call you up 12 at a time to the jury box.
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So you re all in the gallery.
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You re in the courtroom, and the defendant s there, and the two attorney.
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Two law teams are there.
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And so I was juror number 40.
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And they call you by your number, not by your name.
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Do you wear your number?
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Is it like a race or something like that?
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You have to wear it high.
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Shut up.
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Are you serious?
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I swear to God, yeah.
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Did you take a selfie?
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Please tell me you took a selfie with your number on it.
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I did.
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OK, good.
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We got to get that up on the website.
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I ll do that.
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Juror number 40, please approach.
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So I had thought that we had talked about this case on the podcast which which was a no-no because You re if you re a juror, you re really not supposed to know much about the case Well, my little fingers got moving on the on the Google machine prior to the trial knowing and so I m like I m gonna find out about this.
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Yeah, well, you re
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We re really not supposed to do that.
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And so I got excused from the jury box because I said, I know a lot about this.
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It was even featured one day on the Advanced Selling Podcast.
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The defense attorney looks at me and says, you, 40, you re out.
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I listened to the Advanced Selling Podcast, Your Honor, and I know this man mentioned this case on the Advanced Selling Podcast.
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I heard it myself.
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You re out.
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I don t think the defendant listens.
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But anyway, it was a gruesome trial.
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I m glad I m not a part of it.
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The conclusion of it was that you had to be sequestered for 14 days.
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Oh my gosh.
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And sequestered doesn t mean you don t get to talk to people.
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You are shut off from everything.
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You don t have your phone.
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TV and everything, right?
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have nothing, computer.
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Well, it wouldn t matter anyway.
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But you can t watch TV.
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You can t do anything.
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Oh my gosh.
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And to Jeffersonville Days Inn.
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Well, I said to the person next to me, I said, I would be convicted of murder after 12 days.
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I would have shot somebody or myself.
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Oh, I couldn t imagine.
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You imagine that?
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No.
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So they went down.
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For $40 a day, they pay you, right?
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$40 a day.
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$40 a day.
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That s how much they pay you.
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And my day fee is a little higher than $40 a day.
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So they went down to finish up the story.
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They opened the arguments.
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Thursday, the first full day, the prosecutor called three witnesses.
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One of the witnesses referred to something in the past of the defendant, and they had a mistrial.
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So they have to start all over again.
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300 more jurors to find 12 that
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that can stomach what they were about to stomach and be sequestered in Jeffersonville.
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That s the problem.
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I mean, it s one thing if you, to serve 12 to 14 days or whatever, but it s another thing to be away from your family, away from civilization.
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I mean, the people that have jobs can t do that.
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And so what they do is they make up something, I didn t, because that was legit, but they make up something as to why they can t serve.
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Yes, it makes a very strong political,
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comments or something like that.
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Absolutely.
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And they don t get picked.
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Yeah.
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Then there are those people who $40 a day sounds pretty good.
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Yeah.
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Like, you know what?
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I ll do that.
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I ll go sit in the Days Inn.
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Free food?
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You get free food?
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Free food.
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Like Jimmy John s, right?
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You get to meet 11 people, 11 closest friends.
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Oh, that s crazy.
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But I remember one guy on the pool.
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Well, we ll talk about that.
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Let s talk about that.
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We ll do it.
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We ll do a separate podcast on Bill Kasky goes to jury duty.
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We ll write a book.
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How s that?
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I ll get the picture up here, too.
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I like it.
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Online.
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All right.
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So here s the topic today.
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You know, I do a fair amount of asking my email list, what are the biggest problems?
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And of course, you re in coaching, and you get all this all the time.
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And so I asked the question the other day, the biggest heartache, what s the biggest heartache that you face in sales?
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Not just what are the circumstances, like lead generation, what s the biggest heartache?
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And the biggest heartache came back
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with this answer, I lose a deal I should have gotten, or I lose a deal that I owned.
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I thought I had it, and it slipped out of my hands at the last minute.
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Would you agree, Mr. Neal?
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Here we go.
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That is a painful scenario.
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So moved.
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It s the worst.
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It s the worst.
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Because as you go through the process, there are things that cause you to start to think that.
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And most of us have a very legitimate reason to think that.
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We ve been through it.
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We ve talked to everybody and everyone in the process.
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We ve done all the right things.
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And as much as we at the Advanced Selling Podcast tell you not to do this, it s hard not to.
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It s nothing till it s something.
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It s one of our sayings around here.
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And we let ourselves get away.
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And then you get no.
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So then what happens is you fall further.
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So it s a harder fall.
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If I lose a deal up early in the process, it s not that big a deal.
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Exactly.
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But I ve got so much invested.
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Worse than that is that I thought that the expectation was there that I already won.
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And it s really, really bad.
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My daughter s volleyball team, they re kind of rebuilding.
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They re a real good high school program here in Indiana.
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And they re rebuilding after a couple of years of being down.
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And it was a great volleyball match the other night between another really good team.
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And I noticed that one thing our team does is when we have a really good, either a really good kill,
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what appears to be a good kill or a really good block.
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When you re playing another good team, most teams can t handle it.
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Our team would cheer not because of the hit, because they thought they won the point.
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And then person on the other end would dig the ball.
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And now we re still on the point.
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Like we re sitting here clapping the points.
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I m like, hang on the points on over multiple times.
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I m going, we need to probably wait until the ref blows his whistle and points before we cheer.
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I get the reaction to a good call, but it wasn t just reaction to a good hit.
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It was a reaction.
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You can tell, right?
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When the team thinks they won the point.
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We were so relieved that we won that point.
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Totally.
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So I think this is a fantastic topic, and I look forward to conversing with you further on.
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Well, let s converse with each other right now, then.
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Let s dialogue.
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Can we dialogue a little bit about this?
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Who s saying it s a heartache?
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It s, uh, it s Bonnie, uh, no, not Bonnie Raitt.
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It s, uh, uh, Bonnie Tyler.
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Ooh.
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How about that one?
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Google that one, kids.
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B. Neal for pulling that out of his Cathedral Irish show.
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All the millennials that listen to us just must be so thankful that they re, that they can like, oh, this is the crap my dad used to listen to.
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It s a heartache.
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That s a great song, by the way.
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So I ve got three here, getting back to our matters at hand.
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I have four.
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OK.
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So why don t you go first?
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OK.
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And this is advice that we would give you either if you have a deal that you are banking on or to prevent this crap from happening in the future.
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First thing is a thinking thing.
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You ve gone through this process.
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You thought you won.
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You lose.
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At that point, it doesn t matter anymore.
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Sometimes I think people think that it still matters, and to the point where sometimes they ll
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actually beat themselves up for losing a deal that they thought they won.
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And so I think it s really important at this point to accept the loss.
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And it s over.
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That s it.
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The game is over.
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You lost.
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It s done.
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Too many people want to keep going.
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They want to make excuses.
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And sometimes, again, I think the real danger here is that they start to beat themselves up and feel bad about what they did, or think that they made a mistake, or they screwed up, or they re no good, or they got rejected, or people don t want to do business with them, all this crap that doesn t do you any favors at all.
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So I think it s real important to get clean as quickly as you can.
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I m not saying don t process it, but you got to get clean quick.
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Like, it s over.
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OK, I lost.
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Then you can go into some of these other things I think we re going to talk about.
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It doesn t matter.
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Once it s done, it s done.
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So you might say reflection is OK.
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Self-flagellation is not.
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We re going to leave that story, too.
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We had some really good stories before we decided that we re not podcast worthy, but they were really funny.
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We re not gonna go there.
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No, we re not we anyway, but we don t we re not going so I like reflection.
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My first one is It s never over in the instant It should be a trigger warning for us when we start counting the commission check or we start calculating Well, you know what if I could if I get this
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If you start to assume that it s over, that s a danger sign.
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Because you can t help but give off that vibe.
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Plus, I think you come off the accelerator a little bit.
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I think you start to get into coast mode.
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And there s always somebody who, if you re competing against another vendor, they re sitting around strategizing, OK, it looks like it s going to Neal and Kasky, but how do we wrestle it away from them?
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They re always strategizing.
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They re sweetening the pot.
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They re throwing deals together.
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It s never over.
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Never count on it being over until the contract is signed.
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Even then, it s not over.
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I m going to argue that.
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That s true.
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So I rode down here.
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I m going to just keep going now.
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We re passing a baton.
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This is like a relay race.
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Bill just handed me the baton.
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Now I ve got to run my 200, and we ll see how we do.
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Wow.
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We didn t do very good when I ran the 200, I m telling you.
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I came up lame in the 400.
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I ran the 200 in high school.
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I had to stop with about 50 yards left.
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Is that bad?
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Did you win?
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No.
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Why is the guy stopping?
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He s taking a breath, catching my breath here.
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I put no is never forever.
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And here s the deal.
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When someone else wins, all the pressure is on the winner.
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People forget that part, that even when we win a deal,
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We always talk about the hard parts just getting going.
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We joke like in the referee in business, get to the NFL is really hard.
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Staying there is harder.
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It s one thing to get there.
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It s another thing to stay there.
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I believe this to be true in the sales game, too.
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Contract is signed.
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All the pressure for performance and everything is on.
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I think combining what you re saying is we then can t just let it go and disappear.
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No.
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Because the thing may not go as well.
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The people may have made a bad or wrong choice.
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And the hardest time is in the first year when you re getting to know the company.
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So don t go away.
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Don t go in and hide.
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No, do not do that.
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No is never forever.
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And all the pressures on the winner, remember that.
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And you can be right there to catch anything that goes wrong.
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But don t you think we live in a 30-day, 60-day, 90-day world, and when the deal goes away, it s like, screw that, man.
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I got to move on.
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And we literally do lose track of it.
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We don t track it.
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For sure.
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And so we don t have this long-term perspective.
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We ve had the relationships.
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We ve developed these good.
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We ve talked to people.
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We understand the company a little bit.
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Don t let that go to waste by never calling on these people.
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No.
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Can I go?
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Go ahead.
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Well, I m going to comment on that, not even one of my things here, is that there s an interesting delicate balance here between our philosophy that we teach here about the abundance of a marketplace and healthy detachment from outcomes and being able to stay and pursue something that you ve apparently lost.
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There s a balance between that.
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The golden rule, the thing that cleans it all up is your intention, which we also talk about here.
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So my intention, even after I lose a deal, my intention is still to serve someone in whatever way, shape, or form that takes.
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So I take that.
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I don t look at it as I m trying to get them or do anything or sell them or convince them.
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I want to serve them.
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And I might serve them with a connection.
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I might introduce them to a new customer of theirs or whatever.
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It just keeps me nearby.
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That s the main thing.
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It keeps me nearby.
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So don t take it.
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The lesson there is, if you listen to the podcast regularly, don t take abundance and attachment too seriously, too far the other way.
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Like, well, lost that one.
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Goodbye, never again.
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That s a dangerous thing.
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I think that is a dangerous thing.
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And I think we re all guilty of that a little bit.
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Okay, here s another one that I have and it s I think sometimes when we start the sales process We re good.
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If you ve been listening to Brian and I for a long time we get we get cards and letters all the time to say You know, I ve been listening for years and it s really changed my approach I think when you first start listening you hear the you hear us talk about this idea of who s selling whom and who s selling whom is
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We talk about it because it shouldn t be you selling the prospect.
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It should be the prospect selling you on why they need you, on what their issues are.
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It s not that you re sitting around waiting for them to call you, of course.
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But the question is, who s auditioning for whose play?
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And they need to be auditioning for you rather than you as a vendor auditioning for them.
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And sometimes I think the further on in the sales process it goes, the more we get so comfortable, we get familiar, that we stop having them audition.
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Yes, and we don t we remove the filter and we say oh what you re in you re a friend You know, we ve been yucking it up and the contracts coming in So yeah, but you can t you have to still be auditioning and if they start to say things or do things that don t feel right You ve got a you ve got to raise the filter up again.
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Yep have to
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Yep.
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Last thing for me is you ve got to watch the tape.
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You ve got to watch the film.
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This comes from the sports world, I know, but it s so valuable.
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You have to go back and look in a healthy manner after you clear the other stuff out and say, OK, what s the deal here?
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How can I get better?
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Look at your inputs and look at your thinking.
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Inputs would be the behaviors you did.
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Look at your thinking to try to find blind spots.
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That s a good one.
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That s really good.
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Hey, if you haven t done so already, go to ultimatepregame.com and make sure that you re registered on an email list and then check out our new website, advancedsellingpodcast.com and go just, you know, look around, see what s there.
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SPEAKER_01
We got some new product stuff up there and new ways to get ahold of us and talk to us and all that jazz.
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And then we will look forward to talking to you next time on the Advanced Selling Podcast.
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See ya.
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Bye.