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All right, time for Fan Mail Fridays.
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I m your host, Jordan Harbinger.
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I m here with my producer, Jason DeFilippo.
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We ll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right.
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Anyway, if you re new to the Art of Charm podcast, this isn t a great place to start.
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Most of our content is more in-depth and longer format, so check out the best of at theartofcharm.com slash best or the Fundamentals Toolbox at theartofcharm.com slash toolbox.
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That s where we ve got the fundamentals of body language, nonverbal communication,
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Negotiation, attraction, networking, everything else we teach here at the Yard of Charm.
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We ll send all of this to your inbox if you text charmed, that s C-H-A-R-M-E-D, to 33444.
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All right, let s cut to it.
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I ve been in my professional career for about seven years and have been really miserable for about 90% of it.
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I have a quote unquote good job and it pays fairly well, but I don t feel like I m using all of the skills and natural talents that make me feel alive.
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And I really am not in love with doing personal finance.
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I d love to hear your take on whether I should pursue a job that I love or if that s even a thing.
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Should I be happy with a good career at a good company and just stop complaining?
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The company I work for now is a solid company.
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They give me a great amount of vacation time and there s growth potential over time, but I find the field very dry and boring and I struggle getting into the content, not to mention doing the full suit and tie every single day thing and being tied to a desk except for my lunch and bathroom break.
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I m turning 30 tomorrow, and I feel like I m on the cusp of getting pigeonholed in a career that makes me miserable.
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Any thoughts would be helpful.
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Either way, keep doing what you re doing.
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You deserve all the success in the world for sharing this content.
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You are one hell of an interviewer, which takes skill and experience and is greatly underappreciated.
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Steve.
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Hey Steve, you know, this is kind of a dilemma that I see a lot, especially among my friends who joined Wall Street really early on.
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I think a lot of people who do quote-unquote the right thing, get the professional job,
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get the good pay, we get handcuffed to it, and we call this the golden handcuffs on Wall Street because you get a lot of nice toys and a lot of nice comfort, but honestly, I think most people do not actually have jobs that they love, and yes, it is a thing.
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A lot of people love their work.
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I love my work, and a lot of people listening will view me as an exception because I run my own business and I m doing this sort of
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creative entertainment type of thing here with the show, but most people that I know that are really happy actually really enjoy what they do, even if they get paid a little bit less.
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So yeah, you work for a solid company, they give you a great amount of vacation time, but that s a red flag for me, because what I m hearing is, well, I don t have to go to work as much as other people do because they let me out of the cage a lot.
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The growth potential over time is good, but only if you see a position above you that you think is going to be really, really good, and it s not just marginally better than what you have now, or pays slightly more, or gives you more time out in the sun from prison.
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If you find the field boring, which you say you do, if you find it dry, and you struggle getting into the content, that s probably not going to change.
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So the way that you phrase this letter here, Steve,
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the full suit and tie every single day, being tied to a desk every day since except for a lunch and bathroom break.
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You re turning 30.
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This is sort of a quarter-life crisis now that we have longer lifespans, maybe slightly early midlife.
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You are probably getting pigeonholed in a career that makes you miserable, but the good news is it s not too late.
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At 30, you re still young, man, you re still basic, well, technically, in your 20s, unless your birthday s already passed by the time we answer this, and you can change to do whatever you need to do.
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I mean, shoot, man, I didn t even start the Art of Charm until I was about 27.
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I d been doing stuff in the field since age 24, but I wasn t much younger than you when I started this with AJ, so I think,
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Thinking that you re 30 and that you re pigeonholed and it s too late, you re way off the mark.
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Don t have this realization when you re 40.
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Do something about it now, even if you just dip your toes in the water to begin with.
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Hey Jordan, I have a question prompted by a comment made on the AskGaryVee episode.
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You mentioned that you were a millennial, but an early millennial like myself.
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I wonder what your thoughts are on the constant bashing of our generation.
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I think a lot of the bashing is fair for some of the youngest or least experienced, but wonder, is it just youth or lack of experience?
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Millennials have however created some of the most valuable companies,
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quickly taking ranks amongst Fortune 500 companies and overall have surpassed many Gen Xers.
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Blow me.
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By the way, I ll cut that out.
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By the way, thought it was funny you didn t like Gary at first because I thought the same thing.
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A bit about you and Art of Charm as well.
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However, I couldn t have survived my commute as long as I had without it.
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Keep up the great work, Mike.
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Hey, Mike.
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Jason, I think you should leave that in there.
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Mike.
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I totally get it, yeah, I m an early millennial, 1980, I don t know when you were born, but the constant bashing of our generation, look, I hate to say it, but in many ways I get it, but I also think that every single, I also know from hearing about it from my parents and older people that every generation gets bashed, it s just that now we read about it more.
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I think back in the day,
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Generation bashing was something that was relegated to maybe the occasional magazine article and your grandpa picking on you for being lazy because he had to walk uphill both ways in the snow to go to school, but now we see it on the internet and everybody s got an opinion on Medium and Facebook, so I don t think it s changed at all, and I agree, look.
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the bashing for some of the youngest and least experienced, maybe there s something there, but look, I don t know any young person, including myself, that wasn t entitled and thought, well, I m gonna be this way when I m older, because you don t know squat.
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I don t know anybody who has been immune to that.
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in any generation that I ve ever heard of, especially our own.
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So I get the bashing, but I also, I don t think it s a big deal.
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Look, I agree with you.
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Millennials have created some of the most valuable companies, taking ranks, like you said, among the Fortune 500, and overall, sure, we ve surpassed many Gen Xers, just as many Gen Xers had surpassed the generation before them.
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This is nothing new, I think it s just more visible, and I think it seems a little bit different because now people are like,
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well, you don t want to do anything.
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I disagree.
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I think millennials want to innovate to a degree that we haven t really seen for a long time looking back through history.
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I just think that the idea of what they call work, which is manual labor or long hours or committing to an office or working for somebody else, these are values we don t share with the older generations.
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But we have different values when it comes to innovating, creating solutions to problems that
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quote-unquote grown-ups didn t even know they had.
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I mean, think about this.
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If you lost touch with your friends, tough.
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If you wanted to communicate mobily, tough.
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If you wanted to check your email and not use dial-up and you wanted faster things, I mean, these are all companies that millennials are really busting their butts to create and run, and my parents love that technology, so I don t think they would turn around and bash millennials for creating things that they use every day.
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They re just bashing the kid next door who still lives with his parents even though he s 28,
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and doesn t know what he wants to do with his life, they think he should go out and get a job, right?
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So I agree with you mostly and I really think that our generation has got a unique place in history.
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We look the laziest and yet we re probably going to solve some of the biggest problems that have ever faced humanity.
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And I say that and I mean it.
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And yes, I didn t like Gary at first, you didn t like me at first, I didn t like Gary s delivery, and I thought that what he was saying was mostly trite.
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I think now I understand a little bit more, now that I ve lived into it a little bit more, and I m kind of glad that you didn t like me at first.
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Look, everybody likes to make a great first impression, but I think if my first impression was made that I was a little bit brash and maybe a little bit too in your face, without being Gary V level,
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I can appreciate that because I don t think that what we need, especially our generation, speaking of millennials, is more pats on the back and more soft, compassionate delivery when it comes to this stuff.
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And granted, I could probably be a more compassionate person in general, but when it comes to this stuff, I m more passion rather than compassion, and I think that turns some people off.
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So I m glad to have you as a fan.
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Thanks for the note.
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OK, we re going to have a little chat right now, Jordan, because you know what?
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Millennials aren t actually creating half of the stuff that you think you re creating because the Gen Xers and the generation before us did all of that before you got here.
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We built the platform for you to actually have a voice.
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So, you know, when I hear this stuff about the millennials, it drives me crazy.
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So, I mean, what s your take on that?
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Because as somebody who was in the realm of when email was coming up, when the web was coming up, I don t think millennials have a lock on that because webmail, email, all of that stuff happened before they were born.
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I agree with you there, but the thing is, when those things were invented, that platform, great, thank you for that, Gen X, or whatever, right?
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I get it.
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But when that was invented, that was, oh, look, when I was in college, this is 2002, I remember going to this thing where they were teaching us how to use Pine, which is an email client for Unix, and this was what we had in 2000 to check our email.
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Well, that s what we had in 1993 as well.
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Right, so that didn t change.
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And look now, you can go onto Facebook and you can go onto these social media.
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These are things that were unfathomable by Gen, what did I just say?
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Unfathomable by Gen X, right?
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And that s okay, look, I m not bashing Gen X. I agree that the platform was laid there just as people invented electricity before Gen X was around, right?
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Okay, good point, okay, point Jordan, okay.
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Alright, but I think what I m trying to say is, look, millennials get bashed, and I don t think it s totally ridiculous that they do.
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I think every generation bashes the one that comes after them because they don t necessarily understand what s going on and those values aren t shared.
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I try not to bash millennials as much, the younger ones, because for every guy that I m like, look at this lazy guy, he doesn t want to get good at anything, he s not mastering his skill, and that s a rant I ll go on on another show,
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I look at somebody and they have these ridiculous dreams where I think, oh, for God s sake, make something of yourself.
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But if they are able to follow through on the things that they re hoping to accomplish, it can be a game changer for the whole world.
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And I appreciate people who still dream big in a day when everybody else is just bitching about the economy and ISIS and how everything s going to crap, which is what a lot of Gen Xers are doing right now instead of innovating.
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We get tired, man.
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Look, you know, we get tired.
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Yeah, totally, totally.
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And also, you know, it s about stereotypes.
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Don t always believe the hype, because I ve got a 19 year old working for me right now who is one of the biggest hustlers I ve ever seen.
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He s not Gen X. He s not a millennial.
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He s like millennial plus plus.
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I don t even know what we call this generation now for teenagers.
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And he is kicking butt and out there
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doing his thing.
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And, you know, other people are sitting around Snapchatting, buying drones and doing drone selfies all day.
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But he s out there getting business, making his life something because he knows what he wants.
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He wants to buy a house in three years.
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And, you know, I don t know if this is a thing about generational boundaries.
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I think this might actually be more about what you want out of your life.
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And I think it s a lot easier to say friggin  millennials than it is to say, well, you know, losers of my generation also aren t doing this.
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I mean, there s people sleeping on their mom s couch since moms had couches, since the couch was invented.
1
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So let s not pick on millennials for that exclusively.
1
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Yeah, no doubt, no doubt.
1
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Hey, Art of Charm listeners, I m excited to share a new podcast I ve been absolutely binging.
1
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And don t miss President Obama sharing how he deals with pressure by projecting confidence, believing in your team, and taking criticism.
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Right now, Kajabi is offering a free 30-day trial to start your business if you go to kajabi.com slash charm.
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1
SPEAKER_03
Hello AOC fam, I m emailing you wondering if you can spare some guidance on my situation.
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I m 24 years old and currently live in Beaverton, Oregon with my wife.
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We live within our means and are both pursuing our bachelors in our respected fields of study.
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My question has to do with decision making.
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I m someone who s a huge fan of your show, listen nonstop on my way to work, to and from,
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I work 40 hours a week, 40 plus hours actually, between my two jobs to make ends meet with my wife because she focuses on school right now so I can handle a larger part of the plate.
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My problem is with my struggle making the quote-unquote right choices.
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And I will have to say from now on, anytime I say the word right, it is quote-unquote.
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It is in quotes, yes.
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What I mean is I always do what is right.
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I don t max out my credit card.
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I just paid off our car loan with our tax return.
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I make sure we are living within our means and I m currently staying with my full-time job that I m not that fond of because they are paying for my college in full.
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I make sure we don t go on huge vacations that we can t pay for with cash.
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I make the right decision and focus on school first since I m a year out.
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Should I be a little less frugal and spoil my wife a little more with trips?
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Is this simply part of being smart and paying my dues until I graduate and have some traction to make it in the real world?
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I m just looking for some input.
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I m worried the right decisions are actually holding me back.
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Right decision madness.
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Yeah, this is from Mason, who picked a really, I like that, right?
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Decision madness.
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Look, man, first of all, slow clap for being 24, having a couple of jobs, being married, and putting your wife through school.
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When I was 24, I was probably just...
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I don t even know what I was doing, but none of it involved responsibility at that level.
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So I m just, first of all, props to you, Right Decision Madness, for that.
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I think what we ve got here is a case of FOMO, fear of missing out, right?
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What I m seeing, I bet you that Mason would never think about any of this stuff if he weren t listening to shows like The Art of Charm and seeing all these guys on the internet doing their thing.
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He would be like, I m killing it.
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I got a job, my wife s going through school, we re paying for things in cash, I got no debt.
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Instead, all this marketing and all this stuff that he s absorbing through people that I think are probably crap role models is starting to make him feel, to make you feel, Mason, like you re not doing the right thing.
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You got fear of missing out.
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You re worried that you re not going on enough trips.
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I ll ask you this, is your wife constantly complaining about how you never do anything?
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Because if not, then you re probably doing just fine.
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Yeah, that s what I was going to.
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I m like, OK, if she s not complaining, then why are you worrying about it?
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Is this just like something in the back of your head?
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But you re killing it, man.
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No debt.
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Yeah.
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No, it s great.
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You know why he s probably worried about it is because his friends who don t have any jobs are probably going on 10 trips a year with their girlfriend.
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because their parents are hooking them up, or because they re in $30,000 credit card debt and they re not worried about it, et cetera, et cetera.
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Look, if you re living with your means, like you say you are, and you re staying with your full-time job, even though you don t love it, but they re paying for your university and your wife s going through school, I mean, you re doing everything so right,
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No wonder it feels wrong.
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It s not as fun as everybody else claims to be having.
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But I ll tell you this, when you graduate and you have freedom because you have no debt, so you re not beholden to quote unquote the man, and you don t have things that you have to pay for so you don t have to take a crappy job to do it, and your wife has graduated and all those other things are in place, you re going to be very, very happy with the decisions that you re making now.
1
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You re 24, you re super young, you have a decade before you need to really start thinking about quote-unquote quality of life when it comes to having the right career.
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I think he s got two decades.
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At least.
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He s 24, I m 44, and I m still like struggling with this stuff, but he s like, he s got it nailed.
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way before I did, so super kudos.
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I agree, and look, I m not saying you don t need to worry about quality of life when you re 20s and 30s.
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What I am saying is the fact that you re not focusing on your own comfort, but you re focusing on your growth right now is a massive investment in yourself that doesn t feel as awesome now as what maybe some of your stinky friends are doing, wasting money and taking tons of trips, but you re going to be so much more flexible later.
1
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I m telling you, the fact that you won t have debt alone
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is making all this worth it.
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The other idea here is that you re learning how to live without, and you re living within your means, which is what you should be doing anyway.
1
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So the fact that you re comfortable enough here to do it, but you re feeling a little bit like maybe there s more, this is the fire under your butt that s gonna keep you achieving.
1
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So I think you re doing everything right.
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No need to put right in air quotes anymore, in your emails that you re writing.
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Keep at it, graduate from school, and then you can
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You can focus on shaping your life, shaping that life that you have with your wife.
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And otherwise, I think it sounds like you re doing really, really well.
2
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Unless she s got a gripe you didn t put in the email that you didn t let us know about, I think you re killing it.
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So keep on that track.
2
SPEAKER_01
Nate wrote in to ask, I have one issue with some of the AOC Toolbox podcasts.
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I noticed that most of the advice on meeting women and interacting with women centers a lot around the bar slash nightclub scene.
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I m a recovering alcoholic.
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I ve been sober for two years now, and that s just not a scene I m part of.
2
SPEAKER_01
I still have one good friend that I hang out with who drinks, and I ve gone to the bar with him on many occasions since being sober, but I have no purpose in being there, and I don t enjoy it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Being around alcohol doesn t bother me, but it s not an ideal place for me to meet someone who I would like to be with.
2
SPEAKER_01
At any rate, I was wondering if you had any suggestions on meeting women in a venue or event where alcohol is not the focal point of the occasion.
2
SPEAKER_01
I know this probably isn t something you get asked often, but it s been nagging me since listening to your podcasts.
2
SPEAKER_01
Thanks for your time.
2
SPEAKER_00
Hey Nate, I m gonna give it to you straight here because you re 12-stepping.
2
SPEAKER_00
Plenty of sober guys go to bars.
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Even sober AOC clients come out on boot camps.
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SPEAKER_00
You can t avoid society.
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SPEAKER_00
And one reason you don t enjoy the bar is because you don t see a purpose to being there without drinking, and I get that if you re in recovery.
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SPEAKER_00
I totally do get that.
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The fact is, if you feel like you can go there and it s not going to endanger your recovery, then I would encourage you to hang out where your friends are hanging out.
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And if you need to find
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a different purpose for going there.
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It s up to you to find that purpose.
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First of all, normal women go to bars all the time.
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It doesn t mean they re alcoholics.
2
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And that judgment on your part is actually self-limiting, Nate.
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And I also think, frankly, that going to a bar where everybody else is drinking and you re not, it s like a superpower.
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This is something where you have a massive advantage in being a fun, charming, sweet guy among guys and girls.
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You can really crush it there.
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Now, look, you don t have to go to bars.
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You can find other activities where you should meet people, and in fact, I encourage you to do that if you don t like going out at night, and for people that hate bars and
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clubs and any sort of nighttime venue because maybe they have an early morning job, I encourage you as well to go and learn things and be constructive with your time.
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Make a list of things that you would like to learn, and I mean like skydiving, cooking Italian food, learning French, whatever.
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Make a list of maybe five or 10 things.
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You might have to stretch to think about some skills and things that you want to learn.
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Then look in community center guides, universities, especially local kind of community college places,
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The Learning Annex, if that s still around, I don t think that s still around, but something like that, YMCA, look for those and sign up for those classes and you ll meet people there that are going to be interested in those same things.
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Now you re meeting people who aren t drinking, unless it s like one of those wine classes or a beer making class, maybe avoid those.
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but you ll meet people who aren t drinking, who are interested in the same things that you are, and it ll probably be a co-ed group of people that you can hang out with in other areas and make friends.
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So, look, you re gonna have to get over the going to bars things or not, but you have to figure something out.
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I would say, all in all, there s nothing really missing from the AOC toolbox, and if there is, it certainly isn t
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how to meet people without going to bars, because we ve talked about this a lot, and the skills that you use at bars and clubs and nighttime venues to meet people and generate attraction, those things hold up everywhere.
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What s missing is your ability to apply the advice in places that you do frequent instead.
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Hi, Jordan and company.
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My sister has invited me on a night out for her 21st birthday at the end of March with her and the girls.
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Whilst I have no problem going out with a group of women, how do I not look like the gay guy out with five or six women?
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Many thanks in advance.
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Kind regards, Matt.
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So Matt came through an AOC bootcamp when we had one in London like seven years ago.
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I think we had one or two way back then.
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So I believe the word is hwylst.
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Look, I think you re overthinking it a little bit.
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A guy out with five or six women, at least in the United States, and maybe I m misreading something about English culture here, this is not something that says that guy must be gay.
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It just says he s with a lot of girls.
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It depends on the way that you interact with them.
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It depends on the way that you interact with other people around.
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You can definitely have a leg up in flirting with women when you re around other women because of the concept of social proof and pre-selection where you look safer and more charming because you re surrounded by other people that are like them.
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In other words, when you re with women, it s easier to talk to women.
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And frankly, you have a superpower right now when you go out with a bunch of gals, because when you want to talk to guys, yeah, maybe they ll think you re gay for 10 seconds.
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But when you start introducing them to cute girls that are hanging out with your sister, they re going to think you re the coolest guy in the world.
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So, yeah, I mean, like what s wrong with this situation?
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You re going out with five or six women who can be your wings and also just your friends.
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And the social proof right there is just off the charts.
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So why are you worried about thinking you re gay?
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Here s how I think this plays out.
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Matt doesn t pay for a drink all night because he keeps throwing girls at a bunch of dudes at the bar, and he ends up talking with a bunch of women who aren t sure which way to go.
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whether he s straight or gay until he starts making out with him or something like that.
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I think he s going to have a great night.
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I mean, look, people don t necessarily automatically jump to that conclusion.
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Maybe you do, Matt, because maybe that s something that you got going on in the back of your head or something that you re sort of
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neurotically worried about for no reason, but honestly, that s not the first conclusion most people will jump to.
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So let us know how your night goes.
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I would say just stop thinking about it.
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Remember to introduce guys to the girls that you re with, and remember to talk to people outside of the group that you re with, and I think you ll do just fine.
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I m an army officer currently stationed in Germany.
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A few years ago, I noticed all but one of the people in my rank and career field has a master s degree.
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Even then, it took me some time to get motivated to go after the degree.
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I m currently enrolled in an MBA program while continuing my job.
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There are ways I could get the degree as a full-time student, but didn t feel like my timeline for promotion could support that.
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As such, I m not in a prestigious MBA program.
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Does that matter?
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Do you believe me?
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Do you believe my time in the army would make up for the fact that I m not in a prestigious program?
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Is there anything else I could do?
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I love living in Germany and wouldn t mind coming back over here.
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If I took some German classes and got conversational, would that be of benefit?
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Thanks.
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Hey Ross, I wasn t sure how to answer this myself, not being a veteran and not being in the whole circle, the whole culture of the armed forces.
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So I asked an AOC grad,
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Lieutenant Colonel Jason, not to be confused with Producer Jason or Audio Engineer Jason.
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We are a company of many Jasons.
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And Jason sent this response back.
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He said, hey Ross, there are a couple things to consider here.
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First, I wasn t in the Army, but in the Air Force.
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So when it came to promotions, they weren t so much concerned about what advanced degree was in or what school it was from as much as they were looking to see if you have one.
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And I think that s true for most companies, not just in the military.
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That said, when considering candidates for special assignments or fellowships or that kind of thing, sometimes it does matter what the advanced degree is and when they are selecting candidates, when all other things are equal, where the degree is from could be considered.
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If your career goals in the Army are to stay in the mainstream operational field you re in now, the institution your degree is from probably isn t such a big deal.
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If you plan to stay in the Army for the long haul, I d strongly consider following through with some advanced degree.
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I can t speak for the Army, but in the Air Force right now, promotion to Lieutenant Colonel and above is almost impossible without an advanced degree.
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Considering how it might affect you in your post-Army career, your military service and duty performance will likely be considered more important than where your MBA is from.
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I d say your long-term professional goals should dictate what kind of advanced degree you get or, if you choose to go forward with an MBA, what you concentrate in on that degree.
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If your long-term goal is to make a life in Germany,
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Thinking about the type of career you want to have after the army could help you make some decisions.
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If you want to work in the financial sector traveling all over Europe from a home base in Germany, an MBA where you concentrate as heavily as you can on finance courses might be your best bet.
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Or if you want to be leading people and interacting with them, maybe an MBA with more of a focus on leadership and management and less on the numbers.
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Look, this is a great question.
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I wanted to get into this because I know we have a ton of military guys listening that are thinking about transitioning, and they ask us a lot about education, and I ve never really been able to answer these questions.
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So hopefully, Jason, Lieutenant Colonel Jason, now just regular Jason, civilian Jason, was able to help here.
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I hope you all enjoyed that.
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Don t forget, you can email us at friday at the art of charm dot com.
2
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And we ve got something new.
2
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Our friends at the burner app have set us up with a call in line now.
2
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So if you d like to leave us a voicemail or text, you can do either to 415-429-1915.
2
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That s 415-429-1915.
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So Jason, we have a voicemail from Xavier as well, a show fan who switched to a new town.
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You wanna play that?
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Hey, this is Xavier in Los Angeles and I was calling regarding fan mail Friday 51.
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I just wanted to leave a comment on.
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and meeting people in a different city.
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I think that, yeah, like you re saying, Yelp and Foursquare for me were very helpful when I moved to Los Angeles.
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And I was able to meet, now he s been my zen hairstylist for probably seven years now, just like in that first week.
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And I think it s just going out there and just finding out of your norm, wherever you may explore.
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I m also nextdoor.com I ve been using as well to find out what s going on your local neighborhood.
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That s really good, but.
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Yeah, I can completely understand with a guy when you just move to someplace completely different where you never thought you d live.
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Anyways, thanks, bye.
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Thanks, Xavier, for your insight, moving to a new town, and the tools that you re using.
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Always good to hear from people who have put this stuff into action and honed in on some of the finer details.
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Make sure you tell us how you use the art of charm in your life, 415-429-1915.
3
SPEAKER_01
Maybe we ll play it on the show.
3
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Don t forget the Art of Charm Challenge at theartofcharm.com slash challenge or text charmed, that s C-H-A-R-M-E-D to 33444.
3
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We ll send you step-by-step guides on how to become better at making personal and professional connections, becoming a better networker, increasing your social capital and your charisma.
3
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And it s for both guys and gals, so check that out at theartofcharm.com slash challenge or text charmed to 33444.
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Quick shout out to Corey in Kosovo.
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He s in the Peace Corps.
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keeping the peace in Kosovo and Jeremy in Swaziland.
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Not to be confused with Switzerland, which Swaziland is a landlocked country in Africa.
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Yeah, it s a little bit different than.
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Well, Switzerland is a landlocked country as well, I believe.
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It is completely different.
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There s there s chocolate in Switzerland.
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There is, there s probably, Swaziland might be too hot for chocolate.
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Anyway, Jeremy s down there building wind turbines with, I think, high school or college students.
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Seems pretty cool, actually.
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I wish I did that kind of stuff back then.
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Are you in a strange land listening to my familiar voice?
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If so, hit me up.
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I ll shout you out.
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More from AOC at theartofcharm.com.
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Now, stay charming, get out there and connect, and leave everyone better than you found them.
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Thanks for listening to the art of charm.
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Get more confidence, relationship skills, life hacks, and more at theartofcharmpodcast.com.