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I love oversharing.
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Sorry, I do.
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I love it.
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In fact, I think it s one of my love languages.
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It s not on the official list with acts of service, words of affirmation, gift giving, quality time, physical touch.
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It s not on that list, but it s on my list because the way that I connect with people is by oversharing, which is why it s shocking that I have not made an episode completely about my vagina yet.
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How has that not happened yet?
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All I do is share too much information online.
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How has this not happened yet?
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Well, have no fear, because the day has come.
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I am going to be dedicating this entire episode to my vagina.
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Now, what sparked the idea for this episode was all of my recent challenges with my vagina.
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I feel like post-puberty, my vagina has been a problem area for me.
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And I know that I m not the only one, okay?
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Vaginas are very complicated.
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And at least for me, there almost always seems to be something going wrong with it.
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Like, I don t know, it s just, it s a complicated organ.
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It s sensitive, it s complicated.
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And because not a lot of people talk about their vagina, it can be kind of scary when things go wrong with it because there aren t that many people to call.
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And we all know what happens when we Google our symptoms.
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we end up coming to a far more dramatic conclusion than we need to, right?
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I think the truth is vaginas are just complicated, and there s always some sort of drama going on with them.
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And today I m gonna tell some of my dramatic vagina stories, starting with something that happened to me today.
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But let s go back in time for a minute before we discuss what happened today, because this story actually starts five years ago.
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So five years ago, I was in the shower and I was shaving my vagina.
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Now we all know, well, all of us who have a vagina know, how complicated it is to shave a vagina, okay?
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There s a lot of nooks and crannies in there.
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It s treacherous territory.
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And when you re in a rush, you can just sort of shove the razor down there and just start going into autopilot haphazardly.
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And things can very easily go wrong, okay?
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You have a sharp razor and you have a bunch of flaps of skin.
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that are sensitive and just whatever.
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Okay, I cut my vagina with the razor on this day five years ago.
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And I cut it sort of on the inside, okay, in between the outer labia and the inner labia, in that crease there.
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Sorry, this is so TMI.
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I cut that with a razor five years ago.
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And I didn t really think much of it.
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It kind of hurt for a second.
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It bled for a second.
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And that was sort of the end of it.
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And then like a month later, the guy that I was dating at the time noticed it and was like, what the fuck is that?
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And I was like, oh, I don t know.
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And I look and it s this unhealed cut from this razor, like almost like a slice.
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I was like, oh, it s just a cut from the razor, blah, blah, blah.
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It ll heal eventually.
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I forget about it for probably a year.
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And then I start feeling like a light, very mild, sharp pain.
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And I take a look at it one day and I realize, holy shit, that cut is still there and it s not fully healed.
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What the fuck?
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So I start to get a little concerned.
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I m like, this is a little weird.
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This cut has never fully healed.
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It kind of makes sense because the vagina is sort of a moist environment.
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Yeah, it kind of makes sense that something wouldn t heal properly there, but a year?
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So I m like, you know what?
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I ll just keep an eye on it.
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It doesn t seem infected or anything.
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I tell my mom.
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She s like, that s really weird.
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But I decide to just sort of wait it out and see if it goes away.
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Fast forward, literally another year later, it s still fucking there.
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Okay.
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And the problem was I kept forgetting about it because I would go through phases where I couldn t even feel it.
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And then I d go through phases where I could feel it.
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And when I d start to feel it again, I d check up on it and be like, holy shit, it s still there.
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Then I d be like, all right, I ll just forget about it.
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So then I d forget about it.
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And then I wouldn t feel it for a few months, even maybe a year.
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And then eventually I m like, this thing is not going away.
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I need to go to the gynecologist.
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So I do.
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And what does she say to me?
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She says, you just need to do a sitz bath three times a day for two weeks and it ll go away.
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I m so sorry.
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I m just not that girl.
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Okay.
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A sitz bath is like a warm bath with
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I don t know.
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Maybe she wanted to put salt in it or something.
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I don t know what she even wanted me to put in it, but basically like a warm, sterile bath that I sit in for like 15 minutes, three times a day to help keep the cut clean so that it could heal properly.
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I didn t do that.
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I didn t listen to her.
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And then another year went by and it still never went away.
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I ended up switching gynecologists very recently to a very, very involved
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very serious gynecologist who s very proactive and I showed her this cut and she was like we need to cut that thing off and we need to biopsy it because that is really bad that you ve had this cut in your vagina for five fucking years what s happening we need to cut it off so it can heal properly but then we also need to test it to make sure that nothing s wrong with it
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So that s what I had today, that surgery to get it removed.
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It was a minor surgery.
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I didn t need to be put under anesthesia or anything.
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I basically just came in today, stripped down, waist down, and she offered me laughing gas.
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to sort of make me a bit loopy so that I wouldn t feel anything at all, and I would be completely aloof to the whole thing.
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But I had a really bad experience with laughing gas when I was at the dentist in my childhood years, and it kind of traumatized me, so I decided against it.
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When I was at the dentist as a kid, they gave me laughing gas and I started hallucinating.
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Like, I started seeing Sonic the Hedgehog and Pokemon running around in front of me in the room.
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It was very weird and I didn t like that feeling.
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And I don t think it s dangerous or anything, but that s sort of disturbing.
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Like, I m not...
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trying to hallucinate when I m already in a stressful situation.
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So I decided against it.
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I m also too anxious.
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Like, I don t like feeling out of control.
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And laughing gas sort of makes you dissociate.
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I already dissociate with my anxiety enough.
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I don t need anything that will make me dissociate more.
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That scares me.
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I don t like feeling removed from my body.
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I already have that feeling enough from my anxiety.
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Please, God, I don t need anything that will make me dissociate more.
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In fact, I need something that will make me feel in tune with my body.
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Wow, what a treat that would be.
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So yeah, no to the laughing gas, but I did say yes to getting the area numbed.
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So I didn t really know what that was gonna entail.
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Turns out it s a huge needle filled with some sort of numbing stuff, heavy duty.
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The irony of it is that you want to numb the area so that you don t feel the pain, right?
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But the act of getting numbed hurts so fucking bad that you wish you were numbed for that.
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She stuck this big, thick needle in the areas around the vaginal cut, and it hurts so fucking
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fucking bad it hurts so bad i was like oh my and i have a high pain tolerance and i was losing it i was like i couldn t believe how painful it was i was like why didn t i get numbed for this i this hurts so fucking bad but i will say
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I was happy I was numbed when she pulled out this medieval looking tongue scissor hybrid metal it looked like metal shears when she pulled those out and inched those closer to my vagina I was like well thank god I am so numbed up right now in my vagina that literally
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they could cut the whole thing off and I wouldn t even feel it.
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I refused to look down when she brought that thing close to my vagina because ultimately that was the tool that they used to cut the cut off.
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They basically like cut the whole cut out and then bandaged it tight so that it would just, it would reheal, if that makes sense.
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I didn t feel them cutting the actual chunk of my vagina out at all because I was so numbed up.
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So that was amazing.
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But just seeing that tool get close to my vagina, I felt a little loopy ever since.
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Like, I don t know, there s something about a sharp metal tool going near your vagina.
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Wow, that is on my list of biggest fears.
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Anyway, so I didn t feel it.
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The piece of skin, the chunk of vagina that was cut out was honestly pretty small.
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It was like the size of a pea, maybe.
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It was not super big, but I mean, the vagina is not that big, you know what I m saying?
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It was maybe the same size as the clitoris.
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Ow!
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Oh my god, I think, ugh!
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Anyway, so that was that.
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It s gone.
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They re testing it right now.
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We ll see what it is.
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Hopefully it s just an unhealed wound and it s not a sign of something else going wrong.
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But I m just trying not to worry about it and that s that.
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That was today s
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vaginal drama, but there s been more recently.
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About a month and a half ago, I was diagnosed with PCOS, polycystic ovarian syndrome, which if you don t know what that is, oh no, it s polycystic ovary syndrome, not ovarian.
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Okay, excuse me.
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PCOS is a condition in which the ovaries produce an abnormal amount of androgens, male sex hormones, that are usually present in women in small amounts.
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The name polycystic ovary syndrome describes the numerous small cysts, fluid-filled sacs, that form in the ovaries.
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However, some women with this disorder do not have cysts, while some women with the disorder do develop cysts.
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So, I was diagnosed with that about a month ago, and...
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I found out it s the reason that for many years I ve had irregular periods, cystic acne, anxiety, depression, and a slew of other issues.
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It could also possibly impact my fertility, which is upsetting.
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It s definitely a bummer.
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It s common.
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I know a lot of girls with PCOS and I think I have a milder
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version of it.
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I don t have the cysts.
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I don t have all of the symptoms of PCOS, but alas, I have it.
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And this was a little bit less frightening for me because my mom also has PCOS.
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She also has endometriosis, which apparently I might also have, but I haven t been fully tested for it.
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Whatever.
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My mom has PCOS.
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She s managed it throughout her life pretty well.
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She was able to get pregnant with me pretty easily.
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And I think that that gives me hope in a way that hopefully I will be fertile as an adult.
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Oh, I am an adult.
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Hopefully I ll be fertile when I m ready to have children in what, six years, six to eight years probably.
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And you know, there s a lot of things that the doctor recommends when it comes to PCOS, specific ways to eat that support PCOS, certain ways to exercise that support PCOS.
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But she also put me on a medication that will help with my hormones to hopefully keep the PCOS in a better state.
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Because you can t heal PCOS.
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There s no cure for it, but you can manage the symptoms and manage your hormones so that it doesn t impact your life as much.
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So she put me on this medication.
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Now, I m not going to share what medication it is just because I think everybody s on their own journey and I think it s best to speak to your doctor instead of hear what somebody else is on and be like, oh, I want to do that.
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I just think that s a slippery slope.
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I don t think it s necessary, but I did get put on this medication and I m
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very afraid of medication, just because with medication there s side effects.
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And a lot of times the medication is worth it, you know?
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It s worth the risk of the side effects to heal the larger issue.
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But some of the side effects of the medication that I was put on are stomach issues, fast or shallow breathing, fever, chills.
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muscle pain and cramping, sleepiness, decreased appetite, nausea, B12 deficiency, which I m already at risk for that because I m a vegetarian so I don t get enough B12.
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You have to be careful with drinking on this medication.
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You can have diarrhea.
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It can make your anxiety worse sometimes.
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It can make your depression worse sometimes.
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There s a lot of potential negative side effects.
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Now, I read this list to you and you might be thinking, Emma, those are like the side effects for all medications.
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Like all medications come with
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similar sort of risks of basically feeling sick, right?
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But I have been so fortunate in my life thus far that I ve not had to take many medications.
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And so I went into having to take this medication like a little princess, like, oh my God, what if something goes wrong?
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And so for the past month, I ve been in this constant state of fear that something will go wrong as a result of me taking
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this medication.
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And what s ironic about it is that I ve gotten panic attacks about being on this medication.
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And the panic attacks can mimic the symptoms of the medication reacting badly with my system.
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Like when I have a panic attack, I can feel dizzy.
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I can feel nauseous.
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I can hyperventilate.
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I can
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shake, I can feel like I m going to pass out.
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You know, all these things can happen.
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And so I ve just been a fucking wreck adjusting to being on a medication every single day.
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But I ve actually been really lucky and I ve had pretty much no side effects.
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I don t know how it s helping my hormones.
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I can t exactly feel that, but hopefully it is helping.
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My gynecologist did say that once it really kicks in, it ll help with my anxiety.
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It ll help with my acne because my acne is very hormonal.
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It ll help with getting back to a regular period schedule.
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Could make my periods a bit less painful.
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Things are really looking up for me, okay?
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But in lieu of that,
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One of the ways that my health anxiety comes out is through constantly thinking that I m pregnant.
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Now in my defense, in my defense, I do have irregular periods as a result of my PCOS.
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So I ll go six weeks with no period and then suddenly I ll get it.
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I ll go two months without a period sometimes and then I ll get it.
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I ll get my period twice in a month sometimes.
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My period s all over the place.
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So I don t have the predictability of being like, oh, my period s here.
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Great.
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Now I know I m not pregnant.
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I have no way of knowing unless I actually take a pregnancy test because I m not relying on my cycle.
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I don t have a reliable cycle.
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The reason why it s a little bit irrational that I think that I m pregnant like once every two months is because I have an IUD.
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If you don t know what an IUD is, it is a T-shaped plastic frame that s inserted into the uterus.
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Copper wire coils around the device and produces an inflammatory reaction that is toxic to sperm and eggs, preventing pregnancy.
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So I have the Copper IUD.
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I ve had it since I was 17.
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It s worked for me every time, but it s not 100% guaranteed.
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No birth control is 100% guaranteed, right?
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So even though I have that, and even though it s worked every time, I still constantly think I m fucking pregnant.
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And it seems that I always come to the conclusion that I m pregnant at the least convenient times.
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I feel like my brain does it on purpose.
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For example, one time I was doing a red carpet event, okay?
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I was fully in a gown and I had this epiphany.
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I ve not had a period in like two months.
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Where the fuck is my period?
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And I was really bloated that day.
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Like I looked pregnant actually a little bit.
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My lower abdomen was so distended and it was not because of food, it was because of hormones.
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And I was like,
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Hold on a fucking minute.
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I haven t had my period in two months and my lower abdomen is so distended that if I m not pregnant, what the fuck is going on?
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Like, it s not a poop in there.
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Like, yeah, I pooped.
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That is a baby.
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That s Tommy Chamberlain in there.
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That s fucking Paula Chamberlain in there.
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And so I started freaking out.
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Mind you, I m like,
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fully glammed up, I have my hair done, I have my makeup done, I m in a gown about to go to this red carpet event and I m like, oh my God, I need a pregnancy test for when I get back from this event because I am convinced that I am pregnant.
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It all came together in my brain at possibly the worst fucking time ever when there s no possible way for me to take a pregnancy test.
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I m in, oh, I forgot to mention this, I m in France.
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So I don t even know where to go to get a pregnancy test.
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It s also the evening time.
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Who knows if there s a store even open with a pregnancy test.
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I m in a gown.
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I can t lift up the gown and pee on a pregnancy test.
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Like I m already locked into this gown and I have to leave.
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It was the worst fucking time.
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Anyway, someone on my team did actually give me a pregnancy test, which was so nice.
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It was negative.
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Yay.
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Of course, that was probably the worst time I ve ever come to the conclusion that I ve been pregnant.
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It also often happens to me late at night.
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Can t fall asleep, two in the morning, I m tossing and turning, all of a sudden, oh, wait a minute, I m probably fucking pregnant.
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Yep, I m probably pregnant.
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And I can t tell you how many times that s happened to me.
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And I ve opened my medicine cabinet to see if I have a pregnancy test and I don t have one.
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So then I open a delivery app to see if there s a store open who has a pregnancy test.
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Sometimes there is, sometimes there isn t, okay?
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Next thing I know, I m up until four in the morning because I m so afraid that I m pregnant because I hadn t had a period in six weeks, blah, blah, blah.
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I end up taking it, negative again.
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But every single time I take a pregnancy test, I m convinced that that will be the time that it s positive, I am pregnant.
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And every single time I have an entire existential crisis, because it s not until you re afraid that you re pregnant that you think of the weight that it bears.
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It s fucking heavy.
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Because every year that I get older, I m like, oh, what would I do if I got pregnant?
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What would I do?
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Like, what would I do?
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I wait for the results, shaking, sweating, pacing
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the room, and every single time it comes out negative, I feel as though I ve won a sweepstakes or something.
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I feel like, holy shit,
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I feel like I m going on a free trip to the Bahamas.
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I feel like I m getting a free cooking class from Gordon Ramsay.
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I feel like I ve won something.
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I feel like life has blessed me with a treat every single time.
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The feeling never gets old of not being pregnant, I ll tell you that.
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But I m constantly afraid of being pregnant.
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But you know, it s interesting because now that I ve been diagnosed with PCOS and it was brought to my attention that I might not be the most fertile.
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woman there ever was because that can impact your fertility.
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It s made me ponder even harder what I would do if I accidentally got pregnant because my likelihood of getting pregnant might end up being low when I m ready to start trying to have kids.
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And it s like, oh my God, well then what would I do if I accidentally got pregnant now?
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Oh my god, the whole thing is... It s definitely heavy, but anyway.
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Nowadays, I always have a pregnancy test around so that the spiral doesn t last too long.
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Because... Yeah, it s brutal otherwise.
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So I mentioned my birth control, the copper IUD.
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Let me tell you a little bit about that.
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So I got that when I was 17.
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I was in my first relationship.
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I had just lost my virginity.
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I was like, okay, you know what?
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Let s fucking do it.
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And I went to the gynecologist and they were like, okay,
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Here s the deal.
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Hormonal birth control might not be right for you because you get migraines.
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Migraines run in my family.
2
SPEAKER_00
I do get migraines.
2
SPEAKER_00
I actually had one last night.
2
SPEAKER_00
I woke up at three in the morning with a migraine.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was horrific.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was very angry about that.
2
SPEAKER_00
Migraines are horrible and I avoid them at all costs because
2
SPEAKER_00
they re completely debilitating.
2
SPEAKER_00
And the gynecologist was basically like, hormonal birth control can make your migraines worse.
2
SPEAKER_00
So weigh the pros and cons of that, but it probably isn t a good idea and you should probably do something non-hormonal.
2
SPEAKER_00
And really the only option is the copper IUD.
2
SPEAKER_00
I explained it earlier.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s the T-shaped plastic frame that s inserted into the uterus and there s copper wire coiled around it.
2
SPEAKER_00
It basically kills the sperm in the egg and it prevents pregnancy.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay, whatever.
2
SPEAKER_00
I didn t really know what to expect.
2
SPEAKER_00
And in fact, I wasn t really afraid because I was like, oh, they re just going to plop something in my vagina, like just push it in there and I ll go on my merry way.
2
SPEAKER_00
You know, it can t be too big of a deal.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m not gonna lie.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was not all sunshine and rainbows like that.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay, I showed up early in the morning, popped my legs open.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m 17 years old at the time.
2
SPEAKER_00
Anything being in my vagina at that age was a little bit frightening for me.
2
SPEAKER_00
I barely just lost my virginity.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was still foreign to have things near and in my vagina.
2
SPEAKER_00
That was still sort of a disturbing experience.
2
SPEAKER_00
So when they stuck this metal tube-like thing in my vagina to prop it open,
2
SPEAKER_00
I already knew I wasn t going to like this experience because there s something really upsetting about having like metal tools in your vagina.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like the vagina is such a sensitive area that there s something very icky about that.
2
SPEAKER_00
So it started with that and then inserting the IUD was just like a little pinch.
2
SPEAKER_00
It wasn t really that bad actually.
2
SPEAKER_00
It got really bad after the procedure.
2
SPEAKER_00
For the following two days, I had the worst cramping I have ever experienced in my fucking life.
2
SPEAKER_00
I ve broken bones.
2
SPEAKER_00
I have had really severe migraines.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, I ve experienced some pretty bad physical pain.
2
SPEAKER_00
This was on a whole nother level, but it did only last two days.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then the cramping sort of went away.
2
SPEAKER_00
The cramping would then come back every time I d get a period and the cramping would be so... No, let me relax actually.
2
SPEAKER_00
It wasn t as bad as when I initially got inserted.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was beside myself.
2
SPEAKER_00
I didn t even know what the fuck to do.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like there was nothing I could do.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was taking Advil.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was taking Tylenol.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was taking everything.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was like just trying to...
2
SPEAKER_00
find something that would make it better and nothing would make it better.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was like being in a torture chamber in my own body for two days straight.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was pretty horrific.
2
SPEAKER_00
The cramping with the periods following getting the IUD, let s say 30% of that pain.
2
SPEAKER_00
So still very painful, but not nearly as painful.
2
SPEAKER_00
The cramping was a bummer, but what really was crazy was the bleeding.
2
SPEAKER_00
I used to have pretty light periods, like medium flow, okay?
2
SPEAKER_00
Nothing too crazy.
2
SPEAKER_00
After getting the Copper IUD, I was gushing, gushing, gushing blood, okay?
2
SPEAKER_00
I would fill up the largest, most absorbent tampon in like 20 minutes.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was having to switch my tampon every 20 minutes.
2
SPEAKER_00
It got to a point where I had to wear period diapers.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yes, they sell those.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s like a diaper with a built-in maxi pad in it, like a super absorbent maxi pad.
2
SPEAKER_00
Started buying those.
2
SPEAKER_00
because the amount of blood, I couldn t manage the amount of blood coming out of me.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was like a huge social issue.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like I almost couldn t leave the house when I was on my period for the first six to eight months after getting the IUD because it was, the blood was so, it was so much.
2
SPEAKER_00
Let s say I would take my tampon out and get in the shower, blood everywhere.
2
SPEAKER_00
I would get out of the shower to go get a new tampon, blood all over the floor.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like it was crazy.
2
SPEAKER_00
Hot take though, okay, hot take.
2
SPEAKER_00
It was a challenge for a while after getting the IUD.
2
SPEAKER_00
Crampy periods, super heavy, blood flow, sure.
2
SPEAKER_00
But the joy I felt from being able to just have sex and not worry about getting pregnant.
2
SPEAKER_00
In relationships, not have to wear a condom.
2
SPEAKER_00
Everyone s tested, we all know we re good.
2
SPEAKER_00
Don t need to wear a condom.
2
SPEAKER_00
Listen, you should still wear one.
2
SPEAKER_00
Everyone says, I m so sorry, I m not.
2
Okay.
2
SPEAKER_00
God bless all of you wearing a condom.
2
SPEAKER_00
If I don t have to, I m not.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay?
2
SPEAKER_00
You all know me.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay?
2
SPEAKER_00
I m a boyfriend girl.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m always in something.
2
SPEAKER_00
Unless they re cheating on me, which I wouldn t know anyway.
2
SPEAKER_00
If we re only having sex with each other, great.
2
SPEAKER_00
Then we re all safe.
2
SPEAKER_00
And Emma s IUD really gets to have its moment.
2
SPEAKER_00
What a fucking treat.
2
SPEAKER_00
What a treat.
2
SPEAKER_00
I loved that.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I was like, you know what?
2
SPEAKER_00
It s worth it.
2
SPEAKER_00
I know, like all this pain, all this torture for this fucking birth control.
2
SPEAKER_00
And you know what?
2
SPEAKER_00
It s worth it for me because I like the freedom.
2
SPEAKER_00
I love the, no, I don t just like the freedom.
2
SPEAKER_00
Fuck it.
2
SPEAKER_00
I love the freedom.
2
SPEAKER_00
I do.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I have no regrets about my copper IUD, even though it was horrific.
2
SPEAKER_00
I have had a few scares though with it like where I ve thought that it s moved like actually kind of recently within the last few months I had to go to the doctor because I thought it got moved because I randomly like started bleeding and I wasn t on my period and I felt like something was sore inside like I was like I feel like this shit moved I don t know I couldn t know for sure because I can t see in there but I was like something feels off like there s something kind of cramping in there
2
SPEAKER_00
and I m bleeding for no reason, and it s not my period, so I feel like it moved.
2
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, it actually didn t, and I don t know what that was.
2
SPEAKER_00
I ll never know.
2
SPEAKER_00
And then I was afraid.
2
SPEAKER_00
Imagine, okay, so then imagine me already being afraid that I m pregnant all the time.
2
SPEAKER_00
Imagine my fear when I think, wait a minute, is my IUD in the right place?
2
SPEAKER_00
I feel like it might ve gotten moved.
2
SPEAKER_00
Imagine how pregnant I thought I was that week.
2
SPEAKER_00
The drama never ends with the vagina.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like, it s never ending.
2
SPEAKER_00
Oh my god, I also recently thought I had toxic shock.
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SPEAKER_00
Because toxic shock is very rare, but it s still something to consider.
2
SPEAKER_00
Toxic shock syndrome is a rare, life-threatening complication of certain bacterial infections.
2
SPEAKER_00
Risk factors include recent surgery, open wounds, and the use of super absorbent tampons.
2
SPEAKER_00
A high fever, low blood sugar, vomiting, and rash are some symptoms.
2
SPEAKER_00
Treatment includes antibiotics and possibly surgery.
2
SPEAKER_00
It can be very serious.
2
SPEAKER_00
I mean, it can kill you.
2
SPEAKER_00
And it s basically if
2
SPEAKER_00
this toxic bacteria sort of gets into your bloodstream.
2
SPEAKER_00
And according to self.com, expert analysis says the more absorbent the tampon, the more bacteria it can hold on to.
2
SPEAKER_00
That paired with a tiny tear from something like pulling out a dry tampon before it s saturated with blood can introduce the bacteria into the body.
2
SPEAKER_00
Okay, so that s sort of a rundown on toxic shock.
2
SPEAKER_00
It is very rare.
2
SPEAKER_00
It s best to just use tampons as they re instructed, use pads as they re instructed, change them out frequently as needed.
2
SPEAKER_00
If you re doing the best that you can and using these things responsibly, it s the best you can do.
2
SPEAKER_00
I thought that I started my period one time in a heavy way.
2
SPEAKER_00
So I put in a really absorbent tampon because I was not
2
SPEAKER_00
going to be home all day.
2
SPEAKER_00
I was going to be out and about working and I was like, I can t be bleeding through my pants when I m working today.
2
SPEAKER_00
Like, you know what I mean?
2
SPEAKER_00
I m in a business setting.
2
SPEAKER_00
I need to be professional.
2
SPEAKER_00
I m not going to be
3
SPEAKER_00
a happy camper if I m bleeding through my dress pants today.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s just not the right vibe.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I put in a super absorbent tampon.
3
SPEAKER_00
Literally a half an hour later, I go pee and it half pops out and I tear it out because I couldn t push it back in properly.
3
SPEAKER_00
It wouldn t go back in.
3
SPEAKER_00
So I was like, fuck it, I ll just take it out and put in a new one.
3
SPEAKER_00
But when I took it out, it ripped and there was a piece of tampon in my vagina.
3
SPEAKER_00
Not very big, but big enough where I was like, oh my God, if I don t get this out, it could possibly harbor bad bacteria and give me toxic shock.
3
SPEAKER_00
I stuck my fucking finger up.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m trying to get it out.
3
SPEAKER_00
unsure if I was able to get it out.
3
SPEAKER_00
For days following that, I douched my vagina every single day, just hoping that I could get it out.
3
SPEAKER_00
If it was even still in there, I didn t know.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was so nervous about having toxic shock from having a little piece of tampon in my vagina that I gave myself a panic attack, which made me feel dizzy, which made me feel lightheaded, which made me feel feverish.
3
SPEAKER_00
So then I convinced myself, okay, wait, I do have toxic shock because I have all these symptoms.
3
SPEAKER_00
No, I m having a panic attack.
3
SPEAKER_00
But that s what s so fucking sneaky.
3
SPEAKER_00
When you are an anxious person and you get panic attacks, you ll convince yourself that something s really wrong when it s really just you having a panic attack and the symptoms are so similar that you just can t.
3
SPEAKER_00
distinguish one from the other.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s absolutely horrific.
3
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, I ended up not having toxic shock.
3
SPEAKER_00
Thank God.
3
SPEAKER_00
But what I did do was give myself bacterial vaginosis in my vagina from douching it too much.
3
SPEAKER_00
I douched my vagina so much trying to clean it out, hoping that I would get that rogue piece of tampon out of my vagina.
3
SPEAKER_00
but I did it so much that I fucked with the pH of my vagina and ultimately gave myself bacterial vaginosis.
3
SPEAKER_00
Bacterial vaginosis is a condition caused by too much of a certain bacteria in the vagina.
3
SPEAKER_00
Bacterial vaginosis happens when bacteria usually found in the vagina grow too much.
3
SPEAKER_00
This growth upsets the balance of good and bad bacteria in the vagina.
3
SPEAKER_00
Bacterial vaginosis tends to occur during childbearing years.
3
SPEAKER_00
People with bacterial vaginosis often have no symptoms.
3
SPEAKER_00
Symptoms might include thin gray, white, or green fluid coming from the vagina.
3
SPEAKER_00
Other symptoms may include a foul, fishy smell from the vagina, an itchy vagina, or burning while urinating.
3
SPEAKER_00
Treatment can include prescription cream or gel that goes into the vagina or medicines taken by mouth.
3
SPEAKER_00
Last but not least, speaking of bacterial vaginosis.
3
SPEAKER_00
Let s talk about yeast infections because from ages like 17 to 19, I could not figure out why I kept getting yeast infections and yet I was.
3
SPEAKER_00
Now, a lot of you might be thinking, Emma, it s because you re a stinky girl and you don t shower and you have bad hygiene.
3
SPEAKER_00
No, shut the fuck up.
3
SPEAKER_00
I had phenomenal hygiene at the time.
3
SPEAKER_00
The worst thing that I would do is maybe wait an hour or two after, okay, maybe three hours sometimes after working out to shower.
3
SPEAKER_00
That was the worst thing I would do.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s not necessarily a crime, okay?
3
SPEAKER_00
That s a little gross, but I would, you know, go and do a workout class, and then I d go get a coffee with friends, and then we d like talk in the car for a little while, and then I d go home and I d shower.
3
SPEAKER_00
Do I think that that was the reason why I was getting yeast infections?
3
SPEAKER_00
Probably.
3
SPEAKER_00
Is that the biggest hygienic crime you ve ever heard of?
3
SPEAKER_00
No.
3
SPEAKER_00
You probably do it all the time.
3
SPEAKER_00
But you know what s weird?
3
SPEAKER_00
I m not fully convinced it was that, and I actually think it might have been coming from a man.
3
SPEAKER_00
But I ll never know for sure.
3
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, basically, yeast infections get a bad rap.
3
SPEAKER_00
People are like, ew, it s like a fishy cottage cheese.
3
SPEAKER_00
No, it s actually not fishy.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s the misconception about a yeast infection.
3
SPEAKER_00
It doesn t smell like anything.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s bacterial vaginosis.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s a different thing.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s what reeks.
3
SPEAKER_00
Yeast infection is different.
3
SPEAKER_00
Vaginal itching, red and inflamed vulva, thick white discharge with chunky texture, burning sensation when peeing and during sex.
3
SPEAKER_00
I was battling yeast infections for fucking years.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was so annoying.
3
SPEAKER_00
I worked so hard to get rid of them, and I could never really figure out what it was.
3
SPEAKER_00
I think in retrospect, it was not showering immediately after.
3
SPEAKER_00
working out.
3
SPEAKER_00
But also, I do that sometimes now, and I haven t had a yeast infection in years.
3
SPEAKER_00
I actually think it might have been coming from a guy I was talking to at the time.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I think that that is another thing that is not discussed enough about yeast infections.
3
SPEAKER_00
They can come from a dude.
3
SPEAKER_00
It can be spread to you.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t know, because it s like there s kind of a correlation there that s hard to ignore.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, maybe it wasn t related, but that was just horrible.
3
SPEAKER_00
It was horrible.
3
SPEAKER_00
The worst part about it is that I was constantly itchy and I was like walking around 24 hours a day with an itchy coochie like it was just and I I would take supplements.
3
SPEAKER_00
I would put these like pills up my vagina that were supposed to help with like I did everything and nothing worked but I also used to be a lot worse about managing things like
3
SPEAKER_00
If my mom would be like, honey, you need to take this supplement or you need to try this ointment or you need to do this or you need to do that.
3
SPEAKER_00
I d be like, okay.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I d do it for one week and then I would stop doing it.
3
SPEAKER_00
And then I would convince myself that because I did it for that one week, that that was enough and that it should have worked and that.
3
SPEAKER_00
the solution must be elsewhere because I tried it for a week like it should have worked when in reality it needed to be an ongoing treatment.
3
SPEAKER_00
Do you see what I m saying?
3
SPEAKER_00
So some of it might have been juvenile neglect.
3
SPEAKER_00
You give a kid a supplement and watch that sit in the cupboard for years to follow.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s like kids are like, I m sorry.
3
SPEAKER_00
I just recently became a responsible human being when it came to tending to various
3
SPEAKER_00
bodily needs.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, for example, I m supposed to take B12 and vitamin D3, okay?
3
SPEAKER_00
Those are the supplements that I m supposed to take.
3
SPEAKER_00
And I ve neglected to take them ever since the doctor told me I should be taking them.
3
SPEAKER_00
A week here, a week there, blah, blah, blah.
3
SPEAKER_00
But recently, I ve gotten really good about taking those supplements.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m just such a bitch.
3
SPEAKER_00
I think what really helped me, though, is that now I actually have to take a medication every day, and I have to take it.
3
SPEAKER_00
Every day at the same time, and now that I m in a routine, it s easy to throw other supplements in there and just do a big gulp of pills twice a day, you know what I mean?
3
SPEAKER_00
All of this just proves to me that it s so much better to address an issue the second it arises.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like, I wish I would have handled my vaginal cut when it first happened instead of waiting years to address it.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s like, how much stress and anxiety would we avoid if we just handled these things the moment that they happened?
3
SPEAKER_00
But it s easy to turn a blind eye when it s not a violent issue that s begging for your attention.
3
SPEAKER_00
But it does cause an underlying anxiety.
3
SPEAKER_00
Like I feel a weird relief today knowing that my vagina thing is being handled.
3
SPEAKER_00
I don t know.
3
SPEAKER_00
Anyway, so those are all my vagina stories.
3
SPEAKER_00
Hopefully you found some sort of comfort in them because we can feel very alone when it comes to our genitals, our hormones, et cetera, because it s maybe not the most discussed topic.
3
SPEAKER_00
And a lot of times we keep these things to ourselves, understandably so, you know, it s sort of private, but it is nice to know like these things happen to other people.
3
SPEAKER_00
I have had so much anxiety about my vagina cut
3
SPEAKER_00
And I asked my mom about it.
3
SPEAKER_00
I m like, have you ever heard of anything like this?
3
SPEAKER_00
And she was telling me about a family member who had something sort of similar and was totally fine.
3
SPEAKER_00
That made me feel so much better, you know?
3
SPEAKER_00
And if you don t have a family member who also had a cut in their vagina that never healed, and maybe you have a cut in your vagina, let me be your friend in that.
3
SPEAKER_00
Let me bring you some peace because
3
SPEAKER_00
Shit like that can be very anxiety-inducing, and it s normal.
3
SPEAKER_00
Being human is constantly taking care of your body and keeping things under control.
3
SPEAKER_00
But we all got some shit, you know?
3
SPEAKER_00
Anywho, hopefully you didn t feel too violated by me talking about my vagina.
3
SPEAKER_00
If you did, I m sorry.
3
SPEAKER_00
But you know what?
3
SPEAKER_00
Get over it.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s just a coochie, okay?
3
SPEAKER_00
It s no big deal.
3
SPEAKER_00
You might have one.
3
SPEAKER_00
If you don t have one, you ve probably at least seen one.
3
SPEAKER_00
So fucking relax.
3
SPEAKER_00
You came out of one, probably, unless your mom had a C-section.
3
SPEAKER_00
But yeah, go ahead and relax.
3
SPEAKER_00
And that s all I have today.
3
SPEAKER_00
Thank you all for listening and hanging out.
3
SPEAKER_00
I hope that you enjoyed this episode.
3
SPEAKER_00
And if you did, let me know.
3
SPEAKER_00
You can send me a message on Instagram at anythinggoes or my Instagram at Emma Chamberlain.
3
SPEAKER_00
You can go ahead and follow those Instagrams at anythinggoes at Emma Chamberlain.
3
SPEAKER_00
New episodes of Anything Goes every
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SPEAKER_00
Thursday and Sunday.
4
SPEAKER_00
Video episodes are exclusive to Spotify, but you can stream anywhere that you get podcasts.
4
SPEAKER_00
Check out my coffee company, Chamberlain Coffee.
4
SPEAKER_00
We are probably in a store near you if you live in the U.S.
4
SPEAKER_00
Albertsons, Pavilions, Walmart, Target, Whole Foods.
4
SPEAKER_00
See if we re in a store near you.
4
SPEAKER_00
There s a store locator on ChamberlainCoffee.com.
4
SPEAKER_00
You can also order Chamberlain Coffee on ChamberlainCoffee.com.
4
SPEAKER_00
We have phenomenal coffee, matcha, accessories, all created by me and dreamed up by me.
4
SPEAKER_00
So there s that.
4
SPEAKER_00
I love you all and I appreciate you all and thank you for hanging out and I can t wait to talk to you soon.
4
Love you.
4
Talk to you later.
4
SPEAKER_00
Oh my God, I love you.
4
SPEAKER_00
Okay, bye.