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In this episode of the Advanced Selling Podcast, we reach out to Fact Checker Doug for the first time in 2022 to get the official definition of what a palooza is.
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We honor Bill s late father-in-law, Don, who passed away in December.
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He was a great human being, and Bill provides us some eulogy advice.
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And we get a little deep and examine your limiting beliefs, or your rocks as we call them.
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See if it s time for you to drop the rock.
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Hey, everybody.
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Welcome back to the Advanced Selling Podcast.
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We are in a brand new year, 2022.
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Happy New Year, everybody.
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I m Bill Kasky.
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I m Brian Neal.
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This is the longest running sales training podcast.
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Officially, we are 16 years into this.
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We ll be celebrating our 16th year this year, I think.
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2006.
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Before podcasting was a thing, we were a thing.
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Yes.
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And we know some of you have been with us every daggone step of the way.
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That s interesting.
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We should have some sort of a-
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I don t know, like an OG, like a group, the original group that was with us, who s been through since the very beginning.
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I know some of the people.
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I m sure there s hundreds, yeah.
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Go to the LinkedIn group and have you kind of like make yourself known that you re an OG member, that you ve been listening since the beginning.
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We could have a festival for those people.
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We could have an ASP Fest, an ASP Fest.
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ASP.
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ASP.
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ASP Fest.
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Okay, if you are not a LinkedIn member a group member go to advanced selling podcast comm slash LinkedIn Make sure you join.
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We ve got 12 13,000 people there.
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We post several things Occasionally, I just posted a video in fact today because we were heading into the studio to do this to see if there was any any ideas and this kind of came up so
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Yeah.
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Is there, um, yeah, there s a, there s Lala Palooza.
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Is Palooza a thing?
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Like, is something a Palooza?
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I ve heard Palooza a lot.
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Advancing podcast of Palooza.
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Oh no.
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I ve always wondered if Palooza is its own, or if it came from Lala Palooza.
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It just seems like someone, the guy, what s the guy s name?
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Who invented Lala Palooza?
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Oh my gosh.
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My Gen X people are going to kill me.
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I don t know.
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Uh, the guy from Jane s Addiction.
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Oh my gosh.
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The lead singer of Jane s Addiction.
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Uh, Perry Feu, Perry Farrell.
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Perry Farrell.
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Perry Farrell.
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Perry Farrell started Lala Palooza.
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I have to look that up.
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Fact-checker Doug, your first call of the year.
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Fact-checker Doug, where did the words Lollapalooza come from?
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And can we just add palooza to any word?
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Can we?
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Is that allowed?
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Yeah, does that make it a festival of some kind?
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Very great question.
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Very great question.
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I had a chance to do my father-in-law s eulogy before Christmas.
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This is going back a few weeks.
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honored on the 23rd of December, so a couple days before Christmas.
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And I ve known Don, was his name, it was my wife s father, and I ve known Don.
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You met Don, actually, when you played golf?
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Yeah, multiple times, we played golf.
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Phenomenal human being.
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Yeah, he was a good guy.
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He was 92 years old, almost 92.
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He was 91 in 11 months.
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I ll give him that extra month.
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And so the family asked me to do the eulogy.
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And it s an honor to me.
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Whenever someone asks you to either say a few words at a funeral or do the eulogy or do something, say fricking yes.
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Yes.
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Because what you go through as you think about the things to say, it s a flood of recollections and memories.
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And it s really cathartic.
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In a way, it s a healing kind of thing.
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And I know sometimes if it s your father or aunt or grandfather and you re emotional, you might be reluctant to do it because you don t want to go up there with cry face and all that stuff.
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But I would suggest you do it.
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But here s the interesting thing.
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is that, and it s probably different for a 92-year-old who dies in 2021 versus a 92-year-old who dies in 2041, 20 years hence.
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But there is a whole lot of rushing about after the deceased passes to find the things that we re going to put up at the ceremony.
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Pictures, basically pictures.
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And it s weird because you know, I mean, Don was ill for months.
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So he wasn t going to all of a sudden get into the 2022 Olympics.
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I mean, he was in bad shape and we all knew the, we all know it s inevitable.
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And yet we don t do anything.
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We don t write the obit.
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And I m not, this is not my family thing.
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This is just general.
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We just, because we put her off because, well, what if he finds out that we re looking for pictures for his funeral?
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I m sure he s going to be pissed, right?
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Yeah.
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So, but the funny thing is, or the odd thing is that 92 years of life.
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Yes.
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And really what you have is a handful of pictures.
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And that seems
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depressing to me.
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And I know we all do it.
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And now granted, when I die, they will be running the podcast 24-7 for the month.
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Oh, God, I didn t think about that.
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Do I have to do the eulogy?
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You said to say yes.
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Oh, my God.
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You got to do with these, you too.
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It s kind of like Gary Vee.
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Gary Vee is always talking about, leave your children a legacy, leave audio, leave video, leave legacies.
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And that way your grandkids and your great grandkids can listen to it.
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I m like, no, they won t.
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They won t.
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They won t.
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So you and I have, what, 9,000 episodes?
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You think one of your kids is ever going to go back five years after you re gone and say, hey.
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We have to agree, whoever dies first.
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And your dad was 97 when he died, so you re here for a while.
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is we have to print out either a little poster of each episode.
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So 700 episode names around the funeral home.
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Like, this is what he leaves.
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No pictures.
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We get 700.
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Not one picture.
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We get 990 episodes of the Advanced Selling Podcast.
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Oh, this is one of my faves.
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614 was one of my faves.
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You go up, you press a button, and it plays.
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That d be fantastic, actually, wouldn t it?
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But I was thinking about how do you bring someone s life and honor it in a way that, and it s really difficult because my wife says, why don t you, you re never happy with the eulogies that people do.
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Why don t you do your own eulogy?
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Well, okay.
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But that s even a little more difficult because that gets awkward.
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Who am I?
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Am I the person watching the eulogy?
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Am I the person in the,
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in the carcass.
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So true, in the carcass.
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So anyway, hats off to Don, and he was a great guy.
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Great human.
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But the eulogy thing, I would suggest, if you ever have a chance, just say yes.
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It is an honor.
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Just what you said, it s an honor.
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And I do think people feel all sorts of
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Like, I hate the word selfish things, but they re worried that they re going to look bad, cry, and that s really about them protecting them.
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And like you said, man, think about all of us.
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If you have someone pass away and you re going, who can do the eulogy?
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You re going through everybody, right?
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All the friends and family, and you finally land on someone.
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What an honor that is.
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You ve got to say yes to that.
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And of course you re going to cry.
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That s the whole point.
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Right?
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Yeah.
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Or you can practice your way out of crying.
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Yeah.
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Like you can go through the beats so many times that you ve already cried and then you re just delivering it.
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But still, when you get up there, it s different.
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It is different.
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Yes.
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You know, the other side of that is he gave you 90 years, 98 years of his or her life.
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Yeah.
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And you can t get up and say a minute.
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You can t say a sentence.
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Right.
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Right.
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Now, again, I know there s emotions.
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Yes.
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Okay.
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Let s move on to something happier.
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Yeah, slightly.
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I m kidding.
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It s topics.
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Oh, yeah, that s true.
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It s a heavy topic.
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It s a deep topic.
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It s good.
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It s a deep topic.
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So Bill, you want to kind of tee it up for us?
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Yeah, Brian and I are both in the coaching and training business.
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And when a company or a person comes to us, they typically want a change of outcomes.
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They either want more money, more customers, better profitability.
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There s always something at the end of the rainbow that they want.
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That s why they come to us.
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And so then Brian and I, and sometimes we do it together, more often we do it apart, we work our magic with people.
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And the magic is assessing up front, and it s all the mindset stuff that we talk about a lot on the podcast.
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And sometimes, though,
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we can give the person, we can give two people the exact same information and content and coaching, and one person takes it and runs with it, and the other person sits on it and does nothing with it.
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And I m fascinated by that, because even the person who does nothing with it sees the person who was next to him or her taking off.
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You would think they would say, wow, come on, man.
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I want to take off like Bob did over here.
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But they don t.
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Yes.
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And so my best guess is that it has something to do with our innate beliefs about ourselves.
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Yes.
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Beliefs in what we can accomplish, what we deserve to accomplish, what we re here on the planet to do, how much we charge, how much we want to make, what our value is.
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I mean, it could be a lot of different things, but I thought it would be interesting to talk about the innate and
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limiting beliefs that we have that hold us back, and we don t even know it.
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Because we re so close to them that we can t see them.
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We can t separate ourselves enough, get enough separation to see, oh, you know what?
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I think I m being held back by this belief I have about podcasting or video or whatever.
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Yes.
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Yes.
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And I think we want to today, as we said, thoughtful topic here, as you re listening to this, to really examine yourself in your own mind and say, man, hopefully from listening to this episode today, you re going to see or discover something about yourself that wasn t clear before the start of the episode.
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That s our hope, I think, here.
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And I was telling you, Bill, in the pre-show, I did a version of this in December for most of my clients.
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There s a book.
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So if any of you are familiar with 12-step recovery programs,
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I think everybody should be in one.
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I don t care if you have a problem with drugs or alcohol or food or anything.
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Well, we re all addicted to something.
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There s just something.
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And there s Al-Anon for people who have, or adult children of alcoholics or whatever.
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There s a lot of, but they all are based on this 12-step program that was invented back in the 30s.
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There s a step in it called step six.
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that says, we became willing to ask God to help us remove all of our defects of character.
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These are the things that are holding us back.
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And you do in step four in recovery, you re like, write all your, your defects down.
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And then step six, you ask for those to be lifted.
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And what happens is you realize you re hanging on, just what Bill said, you re hanging on to these things that you don t even realize you re hanging on to.
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Now that s kind of a heavy example, people that might be, you know, addicted to cocaine or heroin or something.
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And it still applies, though, in our sales life.
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It applies directly in our sales life because all of you are guaranteed, I guarantee, all of you are hanging on to something that is holding you back.
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Guaranteed.
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So there s a book that s based on this step six called Drop the Rock.
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Drop the Rock.
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And I like the title of that book.
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It s a great book.
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I like it.
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Great title.
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Yep, but Drop the Rock is what this is about.
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And this, if you read the book, it s basically about people who are struggling with addiction and they re clinging on to these old ideas and the rock is drowning them.
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And there are these people in recovery in this boat who ve dropped the rock saying, just drop the rock.
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Just drop the rock and you can come get in the boat with us.
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And the people are like, no, I can t let go of this rock.
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It s too close to me.
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It s part of who I am.
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It s me.
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It s exactly right.
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It s part of who I am.
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We identify with our beliefs, which on some cases is not a bad thing.
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But when we identify with beliefs that hold us back, it becomes harder to break and to cut them off.
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And most of these I ve found, my experience was most of them have been good things.
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They ve served us well.
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And the problem is they go over the hill, and they serve us poorly.
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And so I really want us thinking about, you as a sales professional, today as you re listening to this, what is your rock or what rocks are you clinging on to that you ve got to learn to let go of?
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So here s a way we might think about it, because I did a similar thing with a client here in December of last year.
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And that is, the question becomes, well, how do I know?
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And I said that look at all the things that you know you should be doing but don t.
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Make a list of those five to seven things.
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I know I should be reaching out to more CEOs, or I know I should be shooting more video for LinkedIn, or I know I should be building my personal brand.
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Whatever those things are that you have put on your calendar or your goals and you re not doing, there is something there that s a belief.
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That s out of whack.
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Guaranteed.
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Just out of whack.
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Yes.
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Because it wouldn t even make the list if it wasn t something that you really knew you should do.
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Yes.
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Yes.
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Here s a light example.
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And most salespeople can relate to this.
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It s a very light example.
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But this was kind of one of mine.
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But I m trying to show you what s possible by dropping a rock.
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So I hate to do expense reports.
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I m assuming you do too.
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Most salespeople would say, me too, Brian and Bill.
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I hate to do expense reports.
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And so when we re talking to our clients and they re like, you know, what s in your way from doing more prospecting?
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Well, I got admin days.
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I got all this admin, I got all this expense reports and stuff.
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So when I say, why don t you delegate your expense report to somebody else?
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Instantly, the person goes, I can t do that.
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Why not?
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Well, because, you know, I mean, it s just easier for me to do, because I mean, I ve got the, you know, and here goes the rock clinging.
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We re squeezing harder to the rock of saying why.
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So I have two jobs, as most people know.
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One of my jobs requires me to do expense reports.
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I pay a college kid.
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in Mississippi, and I live in Indiana, $750 a year to do all of my expense reports.
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Doesn t like clockwork.
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It s brilliant.
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All I do is screenshot the thing and send it to him for $750 a year.
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I m like, this is the greatest check I ll ever write ever.
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Most people, though, when I tell them that, they go, so my buddy says, it only takes you five minutes.
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Why don t you do it?
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He s clinging onto his rock.
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I m like, because I hate it, and I m no good at it.
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So that s a little example.
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We talk about that with admin, people like that.
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And it lives in your head, too, when it s not being done, instead of just getting it.
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And what does that living in your head cost you?
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It costs you creativity.
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It probably costs you confidence in some ways.
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How many of your clients have said at some point, you know, I need Bill more than anything.
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You know what s holding me back?
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I need an assistant.
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I need an admin assistant.
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And then you or I say to them, well, go get one.
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They re on Fiverr.
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Well, here we go.
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Now the rock clings.
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Well, then I got to train them.
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Then I got to manage it.
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Here s the rock thing.
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You re squeezing harder.
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Like, no.
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So excuses can be rocks.
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Oh, I think so, too.
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In addition to avoidance.
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So I can avoid an activity.
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because of my limiting beliefs, but I can also embrace it, but then I ll make excuses as to why it won t work.
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That s a limiting belief.
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I think so.
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I think those are two really good ones.
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Yes.
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I think another one, and this is kind of a personal one for me, is, depends, let s see how deep I want to go with this one so I don t drop into a... Yeah, you can go deep.
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Look at tissue.
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Look at tissue here.
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Where s the tissue?
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Get the box out.
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Yeah.
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is, who do you think you are to be blank?
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Yes, yes, yes.
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Who do you think?
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And I got that from my parents, and it s probably all generational DNA.
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It probably has something to do with great-great-grandparents and whatever.
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But it s the, who do you think you are to do that?
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Yep.
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You know, I know we do this podcast.
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And so I could probably say, well, I don t have that who do I need, who do you think you are?
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Because we do a podcast every week.
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And I shoot video for LinkedIn.
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And I m kind of out there, kind of out there.
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But I m still only dabbling in out there.
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Because I still have that.
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Well, who do you think you are to do a daily live LinkedIn show?
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Who do you think you are?
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You couldn t possibly fill up 10 minutes a day on LinkedIn.
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I m like, OK, sure.
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But the point is that I think there is always a different level of who do you think you are to.
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Sometimes we get the podcast.
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OK, we got that.
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But what s the next level?
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And that is my nemesis.
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It s that who do you think you are message that runs when I think about doing something, and then I don t do it because that message wins.
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Yes.
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And it does.
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And I guarantee you, everyone listening, me included, have what Bill just mentioned.
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Some people call it imposter syndrome, because it s a fuzzy thing.
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It s a version of that.
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But it can be way deeper than that.
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Not enough, or unlovable, or not.
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It s like we all, everybody listening has a version of that.
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I guarantee it.
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And I guarantee at some level, it s holding you back from your own desires, and goals, and dreams, and stuff like that.
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There s no doubt.
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No doubt.
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We all do.
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One of my personal ones is a version of that.
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So in my therapy work, since we re getting deep, I ve discovered that I am what is coined- A goldmine for therapists.
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I am.
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Which one?
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I ve got a baker s dozen.
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Got a whole collection, a whole suite.
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Yeah, I think there must be some sort of secret therapist-like underground referral sharing.
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Yeah, they re all in their work.
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Totally like, hey, this guy.
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Get this guy.
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Is counterdependent.
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So there is codependent people, there s counterdependent people, and there are interdependent people.
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And the goal for couples is to be interdependent, two separate humans that can do that together.
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Codependent cling on to others.
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Counterdependent push away.
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So I m counterdependent.
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So I push people away.
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I push things away.
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People, relationships can isolate when it feels too close.
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And there s all sorts of back story of why that s there.
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And so the way that shows up for me in selling and at work is that I think I have to do everything myself because I m counterdependent.
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So my default is if I get into a conversation, if I m delegating something to you and you re not getting it, I m like, you know what, Bill?
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Never mind.
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I ll do it.
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That s what I do.
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That s horrible.
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It s horrible behavior.
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As a leader, it s bad behavior.
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It says you don t trust your people.
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It s not scalable at all, like zero scale in that, nothing.
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And it is absolutely no questions asked, held me back.
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And I m working on it.
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I had my best year with that last year of letting that go.
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That was my big record to let go.
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And I give myself a little love on that.
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Like, I did a decent job.
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And still, but it shows up, man.
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But once you are aware of it, and you ve started to make some progress at it,
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It becomes a lot easier to see it coming before it hits and before you re in the middle of it.
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So I m getting ready to think about this project.
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And what I do sometimes is I talk myself into and out of projects that could be awesome.
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They could be great projects, but it s like, oh, you know, I don t have time right now.
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And if I start to feel myself doing that now, I can say, OK, whoa, wait a minute.
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What s happening to you is this.
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So let s double down.
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Let s get into it.
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And then at the end of that, if you decide it s not a good project, that s fine.
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But you kind of have to see yourself doing it so you can catch yourself doing it.
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Yeah, totally.
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Yes.
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It becomes, when you teach, the learning process people go through from,
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Unconscious incompetence, right?
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Unconscious incompetence.
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I don t know what s going on to conscious incompetence.
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Like, hey, that s a problem, dude, to conscious competence.
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But I still have to think about it.
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So it has to be worked, tried.
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SPEAKER_01
We did some coaching certification where you certified some coaches.
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We had our first engagement ever where 100% of the coaching delivery was delivered by a certified coach.
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I don t even know the people in the program.
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Terrifying.
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I mean, imagine that.
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That s cool.
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For us, it is.
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And you know what?
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It was just fine.
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And you know what?
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They love the certified coach.
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They don t need me.
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But I think they did back in the counter-dependent side of me.
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Yeah, it s crazy.
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SPEAKER_00
So here s the advice here, a suggestion, is listen to what we re talking about here.
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Try to identify that in yourself, whether excuses you make or things that you put off, that you procrastinate, you know you need to do, but you just don t do.
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And start to dig a little deeper inside, and maybe even grab somebody else.
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Sometimes I think it s easier to do these things with somebody who is equally as open,
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You can t do this with somebody who claims not to have any limiting beliefs, because that s not going to work.
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No.
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But you should be able to find somebody, if you re a podcast listener, maybe go online.
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Maybe you guys could come up with something on the LinkedIn group, just a buddy who wants to go through this with you.
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I think it could be very valuable.
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And again, it s about awareness.
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It s about just being super aware of how you re thinking.
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Good one.
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All right.
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Good, thoughtful one.
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Good one to listen to again.
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That s it.
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See you next time.
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See you next time.
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Bye.
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Bye.