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Welcome back to the Tony Robbins podcast for the third and final Fireside Chat of 2020.
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If you haven t heard the first two in the series, you can find them here or go to TonyRobbins.com slash holiday to watch the video versions of all three.
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In this series, Tony and Sage break down the key to this holiday season in three steps.
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First, to find the blessing in this crazy year amidst everything that has happened.
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To really look at the challenges of the past year through a different lens.
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The circumstances or situations that may have caused pain at a time, but pushed you to evolve and grow, to become more resilient and make progress.
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In the second one, they shared how to be the blessing, how to be a light for everyone around you by making one small, simple shift in how you approach the holidays.
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We hope you were able to use this tool to have more enjoyment for yourself too.
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Now, in this third fireside chat, Tony and Sage share with you the simple rituals they do together with their family at this time each year.
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Maybe it s something you want to try this New Year s Eve.
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It s a way for you to see how truly blessed you are.
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And as we head into 2021, in this entirely new world we all find ourselves in, Tony wants to give you the opportunity to grow even more and create whatever it is you truly desire, the life you were made for.
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Listen carefully because he s going to announce a gift that he s giving to everyone free of charge so that you can make 2021 not just better than the last, but your best year ever.
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Hello, everyone.
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Welcome back to our third Fireside Chat.
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It s been beautiful this time and this way to join with you and connect with you all around the world.
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And thank you for coming once again.
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And if you haven t been with the first two Fireside Chats, this is our final one of the year here.
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The purpose of it was just to bring some inspiration and maybe a simple tool that you could use really quickly to kind of take back a little bit more control and find the joy in your life, even though the extra world s in a crazy place.
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I m sure, you know, we call this winter when all these things seem to be happening all at once.
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And with COVID, it s been really intense.
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And so our first Fireside Chat is really about this theme of find the blessing, because in everything, there s a blessing.
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Life is always happening for us.
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It looks like it s happening to us, but it s our job to find that empowering meaning.
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And even with all that s happened with COVID and all the racial injustice and imbalances, all the things that we ve dealt with this year around the world, there still have been moments.
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And unless we find the good,
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What s wrong is always available, but so is what s right.
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And it s not about being positive thinking.
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It s about giving yourself a meaning that allows you to keep moving forward and take back control of your life.
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Because the way we take control is not the external world.
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It starts by taking control of our internal world.
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And so, you know, even with families being separated as hard as it s been, people passing, there s still been blessings.
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People have spent more time with each other, their loved ones.
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They ve had a chance to learn new ways of learning and growing.
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Some people in business have figured out how to pivot in the most insane environment.
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And those skill sets and those abilities set you up for an even greater life, because we can only build on success, not on failure.
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So I hope you ll take the time to find some blessings in the middle of the challenges and in the pain, because that s what makes us as human beings be able to sustain and grow, and not just survive, but thrive.
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Then our second one was saying, if you can find the blessing, now our job is to be the blessing.
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That is to be our best selves no matter what the environment is.
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Because if the only time you re in a great state and you re really happy and fulfilled is when everything goes your way, well, for most humans, that s not going to happen all the time.
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Or if everybody behaves the way you want.
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So the theme of that session is something we both live all the time.
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It s like holding yourself to a standard that says, it s not about me getting, it s about me giving.
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In a relationship, what makes a relationship deep and rich and beautiful is not what you get, it s what you give.
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It s this desire, I want to light this person up, and that is the gift to me.
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I m seeing them so happy.
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But also just doing that in your daily life, like learning to discipline your disappointment.
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not let it take you over, not let it go to despair, or if it s there, how to snap out of it.
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And then we gave you a tool called the Quality Quantifier that shows you how you can decide how to have this best Christmas you can imagine or the best year you can imagine, what to do within yourself so it s not phony and fake, it s not a pump-up, but what are the tools that ll trigger your biochemistry, your own nervous system, to make you feel that strength, and so that you have something to give to those you love.
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That s what makes us feel alive, not getting, but giving.
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Don t get me wrong, if you give and give and give, you receive what you ve already given and you receive also the karmic response of life.
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And so the third step in this simple process is if you find the blessings and you re being a blessing, you will be blessed.
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And we re not talking about in religious terms, we re just talking about this idea that
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We all have experiences in life where we experience a boon.
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There are times when, boy, it feels like nothing works, like everything you try is going wrong, and that life seems like it s against you.
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But really, if you develop that belief, life s happening for me, then it s making me stronger, it s making me dig deeper, it s making me find something more inside myself.
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And you also hear people talk about grace like it s luck, like, oh, aren t they lucky they have a great job, or a great business, or a great family?
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But I really don t think grace is luck.
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I think grace is a reflection of our contributions.
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And I think we have a certain amount of grace just being alive.
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I mean, the gifts of just waking up with your heart beating.
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But honey, why don t you address what you think is grace.
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Certainly my experience, I mean, number one, this moment is grace.
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You know, all of us connecting in this unique platform.
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Living on this planet, on this rock, spinning in the universe, I mean, it s a miracle.
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And there s so much of life that, you know, we can be blind to when we re inside of our own minds, or we re stressed, or we re in judgment, or blaming another person, or thinking that something should have or shouldn t have happened.
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It s my experience that grace is all around us.
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It s really it s not so much of an external thing.
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It s really It s something to be noticed, you know, it s it s something is appreciated, you know the other day I was I was driving to Walgreens on my way to the airport and I drove by like the bus stop and
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And there was this guy, you know, he was an older man, and maybe he had his headphones on or whatever, but he was rocking out all by himself.
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And he was just, I was sitting at the stoplight and I was looking at him, and he was just like really having a good time.
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And I felt blessed by that moment, taking in that man s beauty.
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Just, I didn t even know him, you know.
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We didn t even make eye contact.
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I felt grace of this man experiencing just his own joy.
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The other day, Tony and I were out in our backyard here, and we were having a conversation.
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And maybe there s fish in the ocean, because birds were all diving into the ocean.
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And then all of a sudden, one took flight over top of us.
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And he and I, in the same moment, in the same breath, it was just silent.
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We just watched this being, this bird, this beautiful bird, fly over us.
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And in that moment, I felt blessed.
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I felt the grace of the beauty of that.
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And I think what s so beautiful is a lot of people think, you know, in life I have to do something good or I have to be this way.
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No matter what we ve done in our life, no matter who we are, what our past is, if we all walk outside, we all feel the sun on our face.
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And I think that that s the grace of living in this existence.
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And there s those miracles all around us every single day, and it s really more about witnessing.
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and noticing, you know, it s so simple.
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The other day, too, it s like so funny.
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I m using so many animals and things, but just a lot of times it is in nature.
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You know, it can be in my own home.
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I was going to give another example of this little ant.
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You know, have you ever seen that ant that s like pulling like a leaf or something?
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And it shouldn t be.
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And it s like, what the heck?
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And you feel that.
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awe and wonder, you know, just that mirror of life reflecting back possibility.
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Or in your own home sometimes, like I ll hear my family and I might be in the kitchen and they might be in the family room, I m not even a part of the conversation, but just to hear their laughter or their conversation, it s beautiful.
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It s grace to actually take that in, to recognize it and specifically notice it.
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because that s the gift of slowing down.
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I think that s one of the beautiful gifts that Tony mentioned about, you know, all that we ve went through in this, you know, 2020 and the change is it slowed a lot of us down.
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It changed our habits, you know, because sometimes in our habits we come blind.
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And for my own self, you know, just, I ve just noticed that I ve noticed more grace in it all, no matter what is happening in the external world, because there s always going to be a challenge.
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If you turn on the news or you re looking at your social media, anybody can get stirred up in a moment.
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But, you know, to step outside of that and come back home with inside yourself and just notice during this holiday season, just start to notice and be amazed at the grace that we ve all been blessed with.
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If we can appreciate instead of expect, you know, like people come to the holidays sometimes with family and the in-laws and the outlaws and all the other people that are there.
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And people have expectations of how it should be.
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But people are going to be the way they re going to be.
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having expectations.
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We always talk about, you know, trade your expectations for appreciation and your whole life changes in that moment.
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And this holiday, that s really part of grace.
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That s part of the blessing.
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We have a good friend named Michael Singer.
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You may have read his book, The Untethered Soul.
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And he has this great quote.
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He says, you know, grace is like rain.
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It s falling everywhere.
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It s all over the place.
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It s, you know, falling on everything.
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But we often hold an umbrella over our head called ego.
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And so
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so we don t get wet, we don t feel the grace, and the ego is all the judgments, and we all have it.
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You don t wanna get charged up by the word ego, it s just fear.
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When someone else egotistically seems to be egotistical, they re just afraid that they re not enough, that they won t be loved.
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They re not even aware of it.
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But what we really want to encourage you to do is to really take in the blessings that are here.
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You found the blessings, you re being a blessing, and then you ll be blessed.
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And so we thought there would be something really simple we could give you.
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There s a tradition we have in our family
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And I want to, if we could, give you a little process, real quick one you can do on your own over the next few days or before New Year s.
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If you do it, I think you ll really be fulfilled.
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And then we want to give you a gift that we re very excited about, a training that will cost you nothing, that will help you turn 2021 into your best year ever.
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If you re stuck in or not, we want to show you what to do to make that happen.
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Let s tell you first the assignment, if you re willing to take it on.
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And that is, every year, for a decade and a half or more, I ve done it for about two decades now, almost now, what we ve done, especially the last, say, 15 years, 12 years, we make a slideshow of the year.
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Because today, as you know, digital pictures, everyone s got a million of them now.
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And so we do it, and if you ve got Apple or Google, whoever, usually can build a slideshow for you, but we take the time to do it, pick our favorite music, and lay it out, because so much goes on in a year.
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I mean, it s crazy, the ups and the downs and the in-betweens, and if you just keep moving forward and you don t capture it, sometimes it just, you feel exhausted.
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And so what we do is we make a slideshow, we all watch it, we just watched it the other day.
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And it s just incredible.
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But then after that, if you have a, if you keep a calendar, which most people do, we pull the calendar out, that s the way we help to use it.
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And then we pull out our journals, if you have a journal, but everybody s got a calendar and everybody can create a slideshow.
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And then we sit down and we do a simple process where we ll write down, okay, what, by month, what were the great accomplishments of that month, little ones and big ones, not just big ones.
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And what are some of the magic moments?
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We make a separate list.
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And magic moments are like moment we laughed our guts out.
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Or you had those three squirrels come running up on your lap.
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Or the look in your child s eye when you were talking about something.
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Moments, laughter moments, sacred moments, beautiful moments, because life goes by so quick.
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So it s great to see what you ve achieved, but it s also great to see those little moments, because that s what life is made up of.
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stacks you in this beautiful place where you really can live in a beautiful state and you really can be a blessing to others, because you ve already done the work inside.
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Like Sage was saying, if you don t focus on it, if you don t stack it, it s there.
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So we go, what are the accomplishments, month by month, so we got them for the year.
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What are some of the magic moments?
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And the slideshows help us do that.
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We brainstorm together, look at our calendars.
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And then thirdly, we say, okay, what were the challenges?
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And what did we learn?
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And we make a separate list of that.
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Why don t you share your experience with that?
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Absolutely.
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It s honestly, it s one of my favorite times of the year together.
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We always just play our favorite music and it s just sweet.
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We ll light the fire and we, you know, Tone s journey as a family, we re all kind of having our own experience and just going through and,
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And a lot of times I d be like, okay, gosh, you know, I forgot about this and that, you know, I want to share it.
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And we make our own list and then we come together as well.
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But what s always so insightful, you know, hindsight is always so beautiful because we have the experience that we went through.
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And sometimes back then we didn t know the gift in it, you know, we weren t
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we weren t awake or aware of how that circumstance really has evolved us or blessed our lives.
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But what s so beautiful is going back and you look at the year and sometimes the most painful moments, the most uncomfortable moments, what felt in a moment like it was, you know, brutal, it s beautiful.
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And it s beautiful because of, oh my gosh, you know what I forgot, like, it just caused me to, you know, I tapped into that part of myself.
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And so we write just all the growths, all the learnings, all the gifts, and at the end of it, you know, because we usually stack this and we ll do it on New Year s Eve, we literally will go to the fireplace and we ll... We burn all the pain.
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We do, we roll it up.
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We keep all the lessons, we keep all the magic, but we burn all the problems.
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Anything that just we want to let go of.
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Anything that s no longer needed, any parts of ourself that, you know what, it s just not who I am anymore.
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We make lists of what we want to let go of, everything we want to let go of, we burn that too.
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And we say a prayer, and we read it, and just, you know, thank you.
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Thank you for the experience.
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Thank you for the insight.
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Thank you for the wisdom.
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Thank you for the deeper connection.
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And we let it all go.
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We let it all go.
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But it s something that s been a really beautiful tradition, and it makes New Year s Eve really purposeful and meaningful for us.
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And we do some of it, you know, like the slideshow before Christmas and then we celebrate it all at that time usually, but we cheated this year.
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We did a slideshow early, but we re going to enhance it a little bit more.
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There s still a few more days out of the year.
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So just a quick review.
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If you can, gather your pictures by month, put them in a
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Pick some of your favorite music, play it, let it hit you.
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And then go back, if you have a journal, look at month by month, see what you accomplished.
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What did we achieve this month?
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Little things, big things.
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And then what are the magic moments?
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And then what were the challenges and solutions?
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And you can decide to burn it or not, or just keep it as your record.
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But if you do this, I think your life, I know for us, it s really enriched things.
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And as the years go by, it s really nice to have this history.
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Because you look back and go, that felt like 10 years ago, and that was two and a half years ago.
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And you also see themes of what s occurred.
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And so I hope you ll do this for yourself.
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And then finally, we just wanna offer you a free gift.
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And it s a beautiful gift.
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Last year in the middle of COVID in the summer here, so many people are still trapped in their homes.
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And Sage and I said, let s do something for everybody worldwide.
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Let s do a full-blown, let s do a program.
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Let s do something people can do from their homes.
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And so we put together a program, we call it the Comeback Challenge, because my core belief is that this new year is coming.
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This new year, it s a new world.
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and it s gonna require a new you.
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And the comeback challenge is everybody gets knocked to their knees.
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We all know that, right?
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You don t care how strong you think you are, life will humble you.
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But the real question in life is not whether you get knocked to your knees by COVID, by financial challenges, by your business, by government regulation, by whatever, but how are you able to get back up and come back?
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And the best comeback is not just getting back to where you were, it s getting beyond that.
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So traditionally, most people, if they set goals,
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They usually do it the first of the year and they make their New Year s resolutions, but they re not resolutions.
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When you re resolved, resolved means you ve cut off anything other than what you ve committed to, like every ounce of your soul is there.
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And if you re resolved, you ve got a plan and some action, but most people go, you know, I wanna lose 20 pounds, I wanna make this money, but they don t really do anything.
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And so all the research shows is by the first week in February, 85% of people who ve set some resolution have already broken it.
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Most people break it within a week to 10 days.
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And we want 2021 to be your best year ever.
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I know that in the midst of COVID and all the uncertainty, that sounds like BS, but it s not, because it can be the best year ever here, and then you can take that out to your world and make the things that make it happen.
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So, like, if you think about, just so you get a reality check, think of something that is in your life today that once was a dream or a desire that you thought, when you first thought about it, you wanted, but you thought it would be impossible.
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And yet today, that dream or that goal or the desires in your life, it might be a job, it might have been a relationship, it might have been a business, it might have been a certain economics, it might have been anything, but you found a way to get there.
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How did you do it?
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You didn t do it just by writing a resolution.
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My bet is you obsessed on it.
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You really focused, you gave it time and energy, and you wanted it so bad you couldn t stop thinking about it.
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Because where focus goes, energy flows.
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And then when you focus like that, have you ever had something that you just kept focusing on, you just couldn t let go of it, and then stuff happened?
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Suddenly you met somebody, or you heard a conversation, and it all came together.
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I m sure you have.
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Sometimes focus alone will make the shift by continuous focus.
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But if you add focus along with the second step of massive action and effective execution, which is what we teach, it s like, here s what we re going to do, and here s the best way to do it in the shortest period of time if you want to change your body, if you want to change your relationship, if you want to create a relationship, you want to grow your business, you want to change your economics, you want more energy in your body.
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There are strategies.
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And if you have the wrong strategy, you have all this focus.
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I always give a silly metaphor.
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It s like if your goal was to see a sunset and you started running east, I don t care how positive you are, it s not gonna work.
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So we wanna share with you the strategies for each era of your life.
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And we re gonna do this program for five days in a row here in January.
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And we ll give you the dates in a moment here.
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I ll tell you now, January 21st to the 25th.
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and you can do it from your home, and there s zero charge for it.
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You can attend, you can bring your whole family there.
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Last year in the summer, we did this with 400,000 people.
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So this year we hope to reach half a million people here in January.
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New world, new you, new life.
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So we really wanna serve you, but I hope you ll do what we ve already offered you here, capture this year.
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because you can t build on failure.
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There s so many blessings in this year.
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And if you can see them, feel them, the magic moments, the accomplishments, things you overcome, and if you can learn from the challenges, then let s set you up with that sense of joy and awe.
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Let s go spend five days.
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We ll spend about 90 minutes a day together.
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And you ll be able to do it from the comfort of your home and set up 2021 to rock, to crush it, to go to the next level.
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So that no matter what happens in the outside world, you know that you re more than anything can happen to you.
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And you know that you re going to be able to take care of yourself and your family
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And we ll bring you the best of what we have, and we ll bring you some of our core associates, people that we really love and respect and learn from as well.
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If you d like to join us.
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You can go to make2021myyear.com.
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I love that.
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Make2021myyear.com.
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It s been beautiful to be with you.
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Please, we look forward to seeing you.
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As Tony mentioned, I just love, I love the title of this, make2021myyear.com.
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We really pray that you come and join us then, okay?
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God bless to you all.
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Have a beautiful holiday and we ll see you soon.
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Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, happy Kwanzaa.
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Whatever your belief structures are, we hope you celebrate with your family and take this special time of the year in and you find and share the blessings of life no matter what has been happening.
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There is a deeper, richer experience waiting for all of us who are willing to dig for it and not just accept whatever life offers on the external.
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Go deep, enjoy your holiday, and we hope you have all the love that you desire and deserve.
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God bless.
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God bless.
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The Tony Robbins Podcast is directed by Tony Robbins and produced by the Tony Robbins team.
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Copyright Robbins Research International.