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In this episode of the Advanced Selling Podcast, I share a DVR pet peeve that will not be popular with the masses, Bill cracks his funny bone on his mic stand, and we discuss the self-awareness dilemma and how to get uncrazy with listener Dr. G from Brazil.
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Welcome back.
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Welcome back.
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Welcome back to the Advanced Selling Podcast, the longest running sales training podcast in podcast history.
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My name is Brian Neal.
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Me, Bill Kasky.
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That s Bill Kasky.
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We are here every Monday.
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We know you take your valuable time out of your day to listen to us.
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We re very, very thankful for that.
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Even those of you who listen on 2x speed who get this thing done in about nine minutes, congrats.
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That s really good.
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And those of you who are new, welcome.
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I know a lot of people start at the beginning of the library, so they re back in 2006.
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They ll catch up eventually.
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I wonder what the pace is that you need to, you know, if you like when you watch, by the way, three a week, huge pet peeve.
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We ve talked about this.
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We have never talked about this.
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Okay.
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I hate watching DVR shows and I especially hate watching a show that s on behind what the real time is.
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I cannot stand it drives me crazy like a game or I just want to be in real time all the time.
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Anything I don t constantly watching the show.
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What if it s seven minutes, five minutes, three minutes, we re going to know in about five minutes.
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Now I would know
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now, but I gotta wait.
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Yes.
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And then we re fast forwarding commercials.
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I can t sit like, like, you know, you want to watch a show together and like, you know, stuff s gotta put a kid to bed and like, Hey, can you, can you pause it and then wait for me to come down?
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I m like, no, because the show s on right now.
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Like I want to watch it right now.
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I do.
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I just not a fan of the DVR.
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I m sorry.
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That s so against the world.
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That s weird.
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That fits in with our topics a little bit.
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Perfect.
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All shades of crazy over there.
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Cray cray, my friend.
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Cray cray.
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I thought you were pretty normal until that little episode.
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And it s weird.
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It s a problem.
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Like, I can t, like, it s just really hard to sit there when I know the show is 40 minutes advance of where I am.
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I m like, why can t I just flash forward?
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I ll figure the rest of it out.
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I don t know.
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I like live TV.
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I just do.
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It s like when my wife loves to watch Australian tennis.
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And there s a lot of times where it s in British Open or Australian or French, it s six hours ahead.
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And so I get notified, oh, Djokovic beat Nadal.
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And she ll be watching it, but she ll be watching a replay.
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And she never wants to know what happened.
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And I said, hey, this is a good match.
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I saw who won this.
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This is good.
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Drives her nuts.
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So it s kind of like a little bit.
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What set are they in?
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Oh, you re, you re wait till they get to game two, set two.
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Oh my God.
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You should just wait.
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It s there.
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And then she ll say, I think Serena is going to win this.
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And I ll go, uh huh.
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Keep thinking that sister.
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Okay.
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So our topic today, we re, we re back in the co-video mailbag and we re taking a listener kind of inspired note today.
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It s time for the co-video mailbag where Bill and Brian do their best to answer your questions or make something up.
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That sounds good.
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Hi, guys.
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My name is Guilherme.
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You don t have to read it with an accent.
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Just read it straight.
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G-U-I-L-H-E-R-M-E.
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Guilherme?
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Guilherme.
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OK.
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He s a psychologist from Brazil and has discovered our podcast a few weeks ago.
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He s starting in 2007.
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Got a little ways to go.
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Will he ever hear this one?
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That s what I was asking earlier.
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I don t know how long it takes to catch up.
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I m having a little trouble getting prospects for my services as a counselor, since Brazilians still see therapy as something that crazy people need or do.
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It s hard to approach people offering this kind of service because of that prejudice.
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Whenever I get people to come to my clinic, they usually see the value and start the treatment.
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My problem has really been to bring them here in the first place.
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Can you guys help me?
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And it s Guilherme from... in Brazil.
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So thank you, Guilherme.
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We appreciate it.
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I hate that we re not pronouncing the poor guy s name.
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I know.
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Maybe we should use Google Translate.
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I don t know.
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It s really nice of them, Brazil.
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It s G-U.
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I don t want to just call him Goo.
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Hey, Goo.
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G?
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Guh?
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Yeah.
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Can you do Gus or anything like that?
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Or Grimm?
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I think that would be worse.
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OK.
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So anyway, thank you, Mr. Raposo, for your question.
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And we will.
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Well, this question inspired something.
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It did.
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Do you want to tell the audience?
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Yeah, sure.
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So the T up here.
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And we were talking about what I might call mental resistance around things.
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And so Bill and I were discussing in the pre-show
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Oftentimes, when we ask a crowd or an audience, so what s in your way?
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The list of things that are in someone s way to getting more sales or a higher price or whatever are almost always external.
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There are things like the market condition, the price that we have, we have bad pricing, we have supplies off, we have ops problems.
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No one ever looks in the mirror.
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usually when they re examining a problem like this.
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And so today we inspired, and also because he s a psychologist and a counselor, that what do we talk about?
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What do we see?
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How do we think differently about that whole thing?
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How do we turn the mirror inside and reflect inside and say, OK, what is up with me?
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How am I contributing to this particular issue or problem?
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Did I get that right?
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Yeah, I think that s perfect.
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I was just thinking about an ad there Do you think?
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most people
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I mean, most people you run across in your business, and I run across a lot, do you think most people are self-aware?
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Where are they on the self-awareness scale from zero, no self-awareness, to just like they re almost obsessed with themselves, 10?
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And I m not saying 10 is necessarily good.
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No.
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On average, 4 and 1.
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So pretty low.
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Pretty low.
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That s my opinion.
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And where do you think that originates, the fact that it s low?
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My first answer that popped into my mind is from our societal upbringing, how we were and are.
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Because there s so much external to our world, especially these days when you ve got all these inputs from.
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So my daughter babysits now for a living to make money as a high school kid.
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And she said it s so funny, when she was a baby, which was only 15, 16 years ago, we had one iPad.
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that we could show them and that sort of thing.
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Now, every baby has an iPad.
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Every two-year-old, three-year-old, four-year-old has their own iPad that they watch and count.
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So everything, all that stuff is external.
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External world.
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It s not makeup, even it s not play.
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It s not even, because when you play and you re pretending when you re a kid, it s all internal.
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You re making it all up as you go.
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Now, we turn externally to everything.
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And then when the iPad doesn t work, we get frustrated.
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The kid gets frustrated.
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He s pushing around.
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He can t get it to work.
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And so it seems like we re conditioned externally.
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We expect everything to work, and it doesn t.
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So we re just constantly conditioned about the external.
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So we re not really in a place or really know how to go inside for answers or for reflection or for awareness.
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Yeah, it s just not part of our normal sit, even quiet time.
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Because what you and I learned, because there were three TV channels, often that didn t come in, even before that, there was only radio.
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There was so much time to be with yourself and self-reflection.
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There was no noise.
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There was no external electronic input.
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So you had to be by yourself a lot and quiet a lot.
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And when you did that, you sort of learned that.
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You thought.
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Yeah, you thought.
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And your brain just kind of entertained itself, which is good.
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I think that s a bigger.
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I don t know that we can blame it on devices.
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And I know you re not.
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No.
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But the devices get in the way, iPads and the phones.
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But I don t think we do a good job of making it OK to be alone.
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Correct.
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And to be thoughtful and reflective.
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Yes.
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And you and I are going on a trip here in a couple of weeks.
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And I know that when we sit down, I don t know if you ll want to sit with me.
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You ll probably fly first class.
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You re a plane talker, though.
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Did you know that?
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You are.
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You talk on planes.
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You re very chatty on planes.
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OK.
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Not with people I don t know, though.
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No, no, people you do know.
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Yeah.
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I tend to be very quiet on planes.
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OK, there we go.
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Well, we ve got a problem.
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We ve got a problem.
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That s why I m flying on Saturday, not Sunday.
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OK.
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But when you and I get together, I ve seen us do this before, is we can talk about things at a pretty deep level.
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But if you and I just come in here and do the podcast, we don t do that.
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We re kind of more just like, what do we need to get accomplished?
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What s the topic?
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Yes.
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And to me, that s so valuable to have someone to do that with, if not alone.
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Because sometimes it s hard to do it alone.
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But either way, it s that quiet time of reflection, and it allows us to become self-aware.
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And so those fears then come up, and those anxieties come up.
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And so then we re not looking to the outside world for a solution.
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We re looking inside.
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Yeah, and I think what you said earlier, if I m thinking about this topic, I think it s a good idea.
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This is on the edge of prescriptive, but I think it s a really good idea.
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It s so funny to be self-aware of my self-awareness.
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It s kind of that step one, right?
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OK?
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Yeah.
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Bill just hit his mic with his funny bone with his elbow.
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You can tell when someone hits their funny bone, right?
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Because they start wiggling around like, da-da-da-da-da-da.
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To be self-aware of your self-awareness is an interesting idea.
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And some people just can t even go there, right?
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Self-aware of your self-awareness.
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And if you re starting to look at ways to grow, or if you have a problem like G told us in the email, we ve got this condition in Brazil where everyone thinks crazy people.
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So I ve got to ask myself, how am I showing up?
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Am I an imposter?
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We talk about the imposter syndrome as a thing.
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If you Google imposter syndrome.
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Is he?
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Yeah.
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Suffering, is he contributing to that by this?
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Is he believing the same thing?
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Yeah.
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Even by his statement, he s saying everyone down here believes that only crazy people go to see therapists.
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So it sounds like he believes it, too, in a way.
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And so how do you overcome that yourself?
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Because you can t change other people.
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You can give them information that helps them change on their own, but you can t force it.
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So the rule, then, is that every external problem that we have, that we blame on the world, or our customer, our customer lies to us, or whatever, really begins with an inside deal.
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And if you believe that, I think it s really freeing to believe that, because then we re not always looking to the outside world for solutions.
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We re saying, well, our solution comes from within.
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So for you, Mr. Raposo, you ve got to figure out, do I believe what you say everyone believes?
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And if you do, even just a little bit, it s going to come across in your marketing, your social media, how you talk to people.
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And people don t want to go there if it s only for crazy people, because nobody wants to admit that they re crazy, even though we all are.
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No, everybody is.
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And what a great self-awareness thing, that everyone s a little bit crazy.
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When everybody s crazy, nobody s crazy.
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It s like the new normal.
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Crazy is the new normal.
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Crazy is the new normal.
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This thing s going great.
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So go ahead.
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No.
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So the external-internal thing, I think, is something.
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But it s not just for him to look at.
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I think it s for all of us, is if we re not generating the income we want, the revenue, the new sales, the new business, the new prospects, then what is stopping us internally?
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And that s something worth looking at.
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And that s what I think, if I m taking anything away from this podcast, is the big lesson that I ve got.
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If I make that a habit.
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And by the way, you have to be careful with this.
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You can t do this with guilt, or feel of failure, or personal, all those things that you think, oh, I m no good.
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I can t do it.
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It s not that at all.
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It s looking, OK, how am I showing up?
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And how can I show up differently in a way that allows me to change the dialogue or the thought process that people have about therapy in Brazil, or something like that?
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I think it s a good habit to get into.
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And unfortunately, that habit is not a real,
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utilized habit, such as I ve seen.
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I ve seen people that will always go externally to that.
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Oh, yeah.
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And even in his case, they ll say things like, these idiots.
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Just that thinking.
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They don t get it.
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They don t get it.
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So you can t say that, because that s just spreading the belief around.
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You re just spreading that bad energy.
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I don t think it s a good thing to do.
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So here s a question, then, as we close up today.
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Do you believe?
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Let s just say that he doesn t believe that everybody s crazy, but a lot of the market does.
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The fact is that a lot of us have things about our business that people have misperceptions of.
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Like in the training and coaching business, a lot of times people have a misperception that, well, I don t need that.
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I ve been in business for 20 years.
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I ve been in sales for 20 years.
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What would I need coaching and sales training for?
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And of course, we know that s a misperception.
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So let s just assume that,
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he s got to correct the misperception, not of the whole market, that s going to be hard, of the whole country, but maybe one prospect at a time.
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How would you recommend he go about starting to alter that perception that his market has of him?
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That s a really good question.
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So here s an idea.
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This is a little bit tactical, but I think we re OK with that.
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I think to have this self-awareness, I found, and I m not a big fan of writing.
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I don t enjoy the process.
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I found it to be very therapeutic in my own work.
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And to sit down and put down on paper all those beliefs that you might have about this, that he believes in his heart of hearts, or that you believe as a salesperson in your market.
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So yeah, I do believe we don t have anything new and fancy.
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I do believe this and that sort of thing.
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And then step back from that, and give it a day or two, and go back and reread it, and see how much sense it makes.
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Because oftentimes, you write these things down in the moment, and then we go back and like, you know what?
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It makes no sense.
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It s not really a big deal.
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It really isn t.
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I mean, I understand why I wrote that down.
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And so that pause of a day or two to go back and reread your resistance points I think is a good exercise to do.
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So tell me again, he s writing down the beliefs.
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His own beliefs.
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His own beliefs about his.
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Yes, so things that he may buy into that he says, well, sometimes therapy doesn t work.
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Or sometimes people, I do believe that it s for crazy people, or whatever.
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Or I don t believe people will pay for it.
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I don t believe Brazilians are evolved yet.
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Whatever is in his own way, his own personal beliefs is what I m talking about.
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So write those down.
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Revisit it.
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And then see how much is real, because a lot of it s not going to be real.
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That s not true.
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That s not true.
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That s my opinion.
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Some will be real.
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And the real ones, try this as kind of Tony Robbins-ish, if you will.
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Write the opposite.
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Write the opposite sentence.
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So Brazilians don t believe in therapy.
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Write down the opposite of that.
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Brazilians believe therapy is the number one path to their personal happiness.
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And you start there.
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And then you think, OK, how can I help influence to get to this new state that s the opposite of what I might believe in the first place?
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That s a tactical way to get you down that path.
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Yeah, so you re still working on the inside part
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I ve moved to, OK, let s presume that that s where I want to go, to believing that all Brazilians are there.
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Yes.
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Yeah, right.
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So my question is, how does he start to?
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implement some kind of a strategy, that would be step one, is he s got to believe it.
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Yeah.
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And then I think tactically, then he goes and stands on a street corner and pulls a little Oprah out and says, you re crazy, and you re crazy, and you re crazy, and you re crazy, and you have some cray-cray.
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I think that s ingenious.
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That s not a bad strategy.
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Because it could be fun and funny then.
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It s like if you re not crazy, you re not breathing.
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It falls into even bad attention is good attention.
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It is.
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If you re breathing, you re crazy.
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SPEAKER_01
That s right.
1
SPEAKER_01
If you re breathing, you re crazy.
1
SPEAKER_01
That s his new tagline.
1
SPEAKER_01
Come get un-crazy.
1
SPEAKER_01
Get un-crazy with Dr. G. There you go.
1
SPEAKER_01
We re writing it as we talk here.
1
SPEAKER_01
Come on, man.
1
SPEAKER_01
Marketing plan 101.
1
SPEAKER_01
Come get un-crazy with Dr. G. But interesting, though, see the energy changed.
1
SPEAKER_01
We believe that therapy is the number one path.
1
SPEAKER_01
We ve kind of forgotten about what everybody else says.
1
SPEAKER_01
We re trying to dance around it.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s one thing I think.
1
SPEAKER_00
You ve got to go at it.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, go at it.
1
SPEAKER_00
If you believe that everybody believes that, then you ve got to go right at it and not try to convince them they re wrong.
1
SPEAKER_00
No.
1
SPEAKER_00
Because that s too hard of a path.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s a bridge that s hard to travel on.
1
SPEAKER_00
It just takes too much time.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, it s like when you talk about riding motorcycles, you rode motorcycles, I have too.
1
SPEAKER_01
Two types of motorcycles, right?
1
SPEAKER_01
Those who have laid their bike down or crashed, and those who will at some point.
1
SPEAKER_01
So in his world, you re either crazy and you admit it, or you ll find out later.
1
SPEAKER_00
You re on your way.
1
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
1
SPEAKER_00
Okay, well thank you for the question, and we re going to continue our Co-Video Mailbag series here for a couple more weeks.
1
SPEAKER_00
We ve got some more questions coming in.
1
SPEAKER_00
If you have a question or comment or thought, send it to us at listener at advancedsellingpodcast.com.
1
SPEAKER_00
We d love it if it was an audio question.
1
SPEAKER_00
Not that we don t like written questions, but we love the audio.
1
SPEAKER_00
And so send that in just as an audio file to listener at advancedsellingpodcast.com.
1
SPEAKER_00
See you next time, bye.