0
SPEAKER_00
In this episode of the Advanced Selling Podcast, I announced to our listeners that I m actually going to keep my dog, which several of you will be happy about.
0
SPEAKER_00
We use some really, really bad cliches and a really, really rough opening for the first time in a long time.
0
SPEAKER_00
And we talk about a deep topic.
0
SPEAKER_00
Why are we all so resistant to change?
0
SPEAKER_01
Welcome back to the Advanced Selling Podcast.
0
SPEAKER_01
podcast, the number one blah, blah, blah, blah.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m Bill Caskey.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m Brian Neal.
0
SPEAKER_00
It was great.
0
SPEAKER_00
Had a little well done.
0
SPEAKER_00
Yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
Well done.
0
SPEAKER_00
The longtime listeners will enjoy that intro.
0
SPEAKER_00
They re like, finally, the guy screwed something up.
0
SPEAKER_00
No, not finally.
0
SPEAKER_00
Always.
0
SPEAKER_01
Well, we welcome you to the podcast.
0
SPEAKER_01
If you are new, we urge you to go to advancedsellingpodcast.com.
0
SPEAKER_01
And there is a link there for new listeners.
0
SPEAKER_01
So if you just joined us over the past couple of months, and you just found the show, then we d like you to go there.
0
SPEAKER_01
And there s I think we list the top 10 or 15 shows of all time there and go back into the vault.
0
SPEAKER_01
So welcome, and welcome back to our
0
SPEAKER_01
Normal, abnormal, normal.
0
SPEAKER_00
Well, after last week s episode, yeah, we re, you know, there is no normal, right?
0
SPEAKER_00
That s right.
0
SPEAKER_00
There just is.
0
SPEAKER_00
Stop with the new normal, please.
0
SPEAKER_00
There just is.
0
SPEAKER_00
New normal.
0
SPEAKER_00
So before, well.
0
SPEAKER_00
No, thanks.
0
SPEAKER_00
I don t have a story.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s okay.
0
SPEAKER_00
No, we don t have to have one.
0
SPEAKER_00
Other than my dog is improving.
0
SPEAKER_00
People have asked about the dog update.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s amazing, a topic.
0
SPEAKER_00
If you want to throw a topic out and get a lot of action, talk about your dog.
0
SPEAKER_00
Dogs and daughters.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m telling you, dogs and daughters.
0
SPEAKER_00
And yeah, the dog is getting better, improving in her behavior.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m realizing she s just a puppy.
0
SPEAKER_00
The worst thing is, is I do this whole, she s a pain in the butt.
0
SPEAKER_00
She s crazy.
0
SPEAKER_00
And then dog people come over, like, let me take a look.
0
SPEAKER_00
And then all of a sudden, she does what she normally does.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like, well, this is normal.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m like, you re kidding me.
0
SPEAKER_00
This is normal.
0
SPEAKER_00
Like, I would expect them to go, oh yeah, she s kind of out of hand.
0
SPEAKER_00
so she s not.
0
SPEAKER_00
So we re going to keep her.
0
SPEAKER_00
I thought you were going to keep people come over who know how to deal with dogs, and she immediately chills.
0
SPEAKER_00
No, she curls up on their lap.
0
SPEAKER_00
She s getting a little bit better.
0
SPEAKER_00
So and then I love when people say, well, that s what that s the doodle in her.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s the doodle in her.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s why she s all wound up.
0
SPEAKER_00
Well, that s the doodle in her.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m like, okay, well, how about we get a yellow dog like this?
0
SPEAKER_00
A slow yellow.
0
SPEAKER_00
Wouldn t it be the oodle the oodle?
0
SPEAKER_01
I don t know if it s a poodle.
0
SPEAKER_00
It is.
0
SPEAKER_01
I had, speaking of dogs and daughters, had a conversation the other day with my daughter, Kara, who s out in Denver, and she was at a friend s house, and her friend says, yells from the back, hey, we want to be on the podcast.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I don t know if they re listeners, and I said, you can be on the podcast if you tell me what the last episode was about.
0
SPEAKER_00
Oh, that s brilliant.
0
SPEAKER_00
None of them.
0
SPEAKER_00
None of them.
0
SPEAKER_00
Brilliant.
0
SPEAKER_01
Brilliant.
0
SPEAKER_01
Because, you know, you ve got to call their bluff.
0
SPEAKER_00
Have to.
0
SPEAKER_00
Everybody wants to be on until you ask that question.
0
SPEAKER_00
So true.
0
SPEAKER_00
So true.
0
SPEAKER_00
Hey, if you re a sales pro, and again, we know you are because you re a loyal listener to the Advanced Selling Podcast, and you re wondering, what does the coming year look like?
0
SPEAKER_00
And what does the back half of 2020 look like?
0
SPEAKER_00
And you want to make sure that you are locked and loaded for success.
0
SPEAKER_00
And we invite you to become an ASP Insider.
0
SPEAKER_00
ASP Insider is a group coaching program that meets monthly, where we coach on relevant topics that are going to help you grow your business and your income.
0
SPEAKER_00
The tuition is $47 a month, or you can join for a whole year and save even more money.
0
SPEAKER_00
Go to advancedsellingpodcast.com slash insider for details.
0
SPEAKER_00
There s also a video that walks you through why we re doing it, what s in it for you.
0
SPEAKER_00
In addition to that, we ve got some videos from current members that will tell you why they think you should spend the money to become an insider.
0
SPEAKER_00
That s advancedsellingpodcast.com slash insider.
0
SPEAKER_00
We would love to have you be a member of that group.
0
SPEAKER_00
OK, topic.
0
SPEAKER_01
Topic today, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_01
Last week, we spent a little bit of time on embracing this world that we re in.
0
SPEAKER_01
We re not even going to call it the blank blank.
0
SPEAKER_01
But we re in this world, and the world is as it is, even if it s not the way we want it to be.
0
SPEAKER_01
It is what it is, and the worst saying ever.
0
SPEAKER_01
But that s a fact here.
0
SPEAKER_01
And so what we thought we d do today is, what causes our resistance to change?
0
SPEAKER_01
And then what can we do about those things that get in the way of us accepting and kind of going with the flow and leading through all this change?
0
SPEAKER_01
And so we re going to start with what causes some of this resistance and then get into some tactics.
0
SPEAKER_01
I like it.
0
SPEAKER_01
So I ve got a couple.
0
SPEAKER_01
You ve got a couple.
0
SPEAKER_00
I do, yeah.
0
SPEAKER_00
I ve got three things that I think cause the problem.
0
SPEAKER_00
I ve only got one thing so far.
0
SPEAKER_00
Maybe something else will pop in my head as we talk about what to do about it.
0
SPEAKER_00
Why don t you go first on here?
0
SPEAKER_00
So what causes us to hang on to things?
0
SPEAKER_00
I wrote down the word definer.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I don t think that s a word, but it is now.
0
SPEAKER_00
And these things are definers.
0
SPEAKER_00
They define who we are.
0
SPEAKER_00
They define how we are.
0
SPEAKER_00
They define our self-image.
0
SPEAKER_00
They define what other people think about us.
0
SPEAKER_00
All the things that we ve hung on to in the past define us.
0
SPEAKER_00
And if I m going to change any of that, I run the risk of losing myself, of who I am at my core, who I believe I should be at my core, because that s who I ve been.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I think that s a really, really important thing to examine in yourself, is to say, I ve kind of been defined this way.
0
SPEAKER_00
And it could be all sorts of ways.
0
SPEAKER_00
It could be anything.
0
SPEAKER_00
In sales, it could be, oh, he s a great relationship guy or gal, whatever.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, OK, that defines me.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m a face-to-face, I m a people person.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m a closer.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m a closer, whatever.
0
SPEAKER_00
You re defined by that.
0
SPEAKER_00
And then we tell you a different way.
0
SPEAKER_00
Well, that strips you of your image.
0
SPEAKER_00
It strips you of who you are.
0
SPEAKER_00
All of a sudden, people don t like that.
0
SPEAKER_00
They want to hang on to it.
0
SPEAKER_00
So you ve got to figure out what your definers are, I think, in this examination.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I ve got the same thing.
0
SPEAKER_01
I ve got it written down here.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s just identity.
0
SPEAKER_01
Who are you?
0
SPEAKER_01
There s the two forms of that, I believe.
0
SPEAKER_01
There s the who we think we are, and then there s the truth.
0
SPEAKER_01
So it s like the false self or the role self is all those things that happen in the market.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I m a
0
SPEAKER_01
I m an NFL official, and I m a tall person, and I m this color, and I m this way with people, and I m a good closer.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m good and bad at this and good at that.
0
SPEAKER_01
And we identify with all this collection of stuff.
0
SPEAKER_01
And the fact is that we are none of that deep down.
0
SPEAKER_01
We are not our skin color.
0
SPEAKER_01
We are not our income level.
0
SPEAKER_01
We are not those things.
0
SPEAKER_01
Those things, we ve allowed them to define us.
0
SPEAKER_01
And then we go to change and we say, well, wait a minute, but that s not me.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I can t possibly take a $100,000 annual pay cut to go in this different direction, because I m a $200,000 a year person.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m not going to take a $100,000 pay cut, even if the potential is $500,000 the next year.
0
SPEAKER_01
We get so defined and identified with our traits and our attributes and our past and our future.
0
SPEAKER_01
And there s so much there about just
0
SPEAKER_01
unenslaving ourselves.
0
SPEAKER_01
And believe me, this is not something I ve mastered at all.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s a work in progress.
0
SPEAKER_01
But the idea of unenslaving yourselves or ourselves from what we think we are to who we really are.
0
SPEAKER_01
Yes, at our core.
0
SPEAKER_01
At our core.
0
SPEAKER_01
And this is everybody.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s right.
0
SPEAKER_00
Everybody listening has this going on.
0
SPEAKER_01
And where do you go for that?
0
SPEAKER_01
I mean, you come to the advanced level.
0
SPEAKER_01
What are you going to go to your pastor and ask that?
0
SPEAKER_01
You re not going to go to your shrink, because your shrink wants to talk about how you were brought up in childhood traumas.
0
SPEAKER_01
You can t go to your spouse.
0
SPEAKER_01
Your spouse is going to say, what the fuck are you talking about?
0
SPEAKER_01
But we all know that we are, I think, Sadhguru, who is one of my favorite yogis, and I have a lot of favorite yogis.
0
SPEAKER_00
I follow Sadhguru on Instagram.
0
SPEAKER_01
He says, all suffering comes from the world
0
SPEAKER_01
that disappoints us.
0
SPEAKER_01
We want it to be a certain way, and it s not a certain way.
0
SPEAKER_01
We want Brian Neal to be a certain way, and he s not.
0
SPEAKER_01
Bill Kasky, and he s not.
0
SPEAKER_01
Our spouse, and they re not.
0
SPEAKER_01
All suffering comes from that.
0
SPEAKER_01
So the only way to not suffer is to have no expectations that the world s going to obey.
0
SPEAKER_00
Correct.
0
SPEAKER_00
Correct.
0
SPEAKER_00
So true, isn t it?
0
SPEAKER_00
We want everyone to do certain things, but we want them to do the certain things the way we want them to be.
0
SPEAKER_00
Exactly.
0
SPEAKER_00
Right?
0
SPEAKER_00
It s so interesting.
0
SPEAKER_00
Here, my second one is pretty straightforward, and I found it to be really true.
0
SPEAKER_00
It takes effort to change.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s work.
0
SPEAKER_00
It takes almost no work to stay the same, because I know what I m doing.
0
SPEAKER_00
I ve got inertia.
0
SPEAKER_00
The ball s rolling down the hill.
0
SPEAKER_00
As soon as the ball stops rolling, and it s got to go up the hill, I got to push it, and I got to do something.
0
SPEAKER_00
And it s hard, and I got to sweat, and I got to use muscles I didn t use before.
0
SPEAKER_00
And I think people just like to say, you know what?
0
SPEAKER_00
We joke when we re talking about exercise.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s real easy to go for a walk.
0
SPEAKER_00
Walking is very easy for most people.
0
SPEAKER_00
it s easier to sit there.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s easier just to stay on the couch for another hour.
0
SPEAKER_00
Absolutely.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s easier.
0
SPEAKER_00
Does that make sense?
0
SPEAKER_00
Because I got inertia.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m already on the couch.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m not going to move.
0
SPEAKER_00
It s easy for me to just stay seated in this chair.
0
SPEAKER_00
It takes a little effort to get up and go out and go on the trail for a walk.
0
SPEAKER_00
So you got to get past that first step.
0
SPEAKER_00
I m always my joking.
0
SPEAKER_00
I always say you put your shoes on as you go to work out.
0
SPEAKER_00
You just put your shoes on.
0
SPEAKER_00
Okay, your shoes are on now.
0
SPEAKER_00
Now what now?
0
SPEAKER_00
Maybe I ll go for a walk.
0
SPEAKER_00
So
0
SPEAKER_01
That s good.
0
SPEAKER_01
That s good.
0
SPEAKER_01
It s those triggering ideas.
0
SPEAKER_01
I think a little bit of cause for our resistance to change is the idea of, I m just not enough.
0
SPEAKER_01
I m just not.
0
SPEAKER_01
And I know that we always laugh at the
1
SPEAKER_01
whole Stuart Smalley on Saturday Night Live, I m good enough, doggone it, I m smart enough.
1
SPEAKER_01
But there was a lot of truth to that.
1
SPEAKER_01
And the truth comes from the opposite of those things that Stuart was trying to get across, which is, I m not enough.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I hear this a lot from people.
1
SPEAKER_01
In some of my programs, we talk about
1
SPEAKER_01
this feeling that is so deep that we don t ever want to access it and talk about it.
1
SPEAKER_01
But it comes from childhood, it comes from growing up, from traumatic situations.
1
SPEAKER_01
And I m not talking about sexual or physical trauma, just trauma, just being a person who doesn t know what the hell they re doing in a world that everybody thinks they do and you get punished by it for it and all that.
1
SPEAKER_01
But I think there s also the corollary to that, which is I m not enough, and I m not going to be able to handle it.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I m not going to be up for the task of change, getting off the couch, doing a YouTube video.
1
SPEAKER_01
I m not going to be able to do that.
1
SPEAKER_01
And we all know that s just a BS story that we tell ourselves.
1
SPEAKER_00
It just is.
1
SPEAKER_00
It is.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I think sometimes I see a lot of people, even in social media, kind of in the Instagram influencer world, when they talk about this, the fix is to say, you are enough.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, you got to go deeper than that.
1
SPEAKER_00
You can t just say, I m like, no, Bill, you are enough.
1
SPEAKER_00
You got to examine where those feelings are coming from to pull them up, I think, and try to make them better.
1
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, saying you are enough to somebody who doesn t think they re enough.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s almost worse.
1
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, you re getting ready.
1
SPEAKER_00
No, I m not.
1
SPEAKER_00
No, I m not.
1
SPEAKER_00
No, I m not.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m not enough.
1
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, you are.
1
SPEAKER_00
No, I m not.
1
SPEAKER_00
Then you lose friends over it.
1
SPEAKER_00
And then you totally die in the trailer down by the river.
1
SPEAKER_00
Oh, my gosh.
1
SPEAKER_00
The last one I have here on the cause is just the and I think this is interesting because this is something that is innate.
1
SPEAKER_00
It to me, this is biology.
1
SPEAKER_00
This is biological wiring.
1
SPEAKER_00
We are wired to stay alive and reproduce all human species, all plants, all animals.
1
SPEAKER_00
Job.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s in the mix.
1
SPEAKER_00
You can t get out of it.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s part of the deal.
1
SPEAKER_00
One of the ways humans survive is to be selfish.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s one of our mechanisms that we use.
1
SPEAKER_00
We re evolved, so sometimes selfishness, it s like, well, don t be so selfish.
1
SPEAKER_00
Well, all of us have selfishness, because if you weren t selfish, if you ever watch a litter of pigs or dogs eat,
1
SPEAKER_00
They re not like we re like you go ahead and take a turn.
1
SPEAKER_00
No, no, you re surviving here.
1
SPEAKER_00
You can have this tittle or whatever.
1
SPEAKER_00
Those are teat.
1
SPEAKER_00
What are tittles tittles the dot on the top of an eye skittles tittle?
1
SPEAKER_00
I don t know what to say.
1
SPEAKER_00
They re trying to keep it, you know, PG.
1
SPEAKER_00
So I go to the pharmacy today.
1
SPEAKER_00
Could I have a package of tittles?
1
SPEAKER_00
Tittle s the dot.
1
SPEAKER_00
I might get thrown out if I don t have my mask on.
1
SPEAKER_00
Tittle s the top of the I, right?
1
SPEAKER_00
The top of an I. So when you write the letter I, the dot is a tittle.
1
SPEAKER_00
I meant to say teat.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m trying to keep it clean.
1
SPEAKER_00
No, teat s not.
1
SPEAKER_00
But it s true, right?
1
SPEAKER_00
It s like a female dog.
1
SPEAKER_01
How many times when you re watching a dog show, I think we ve talked about this before, does the person say, this bitch is from Arkansas,
1
SPEAKER_01
And we revert back to eighth grade.
1
SPEAKER_00
All boys stop growing in eighth grade.
1
SPEAKER_00
That s true.
1
SPEAKER_00
Mentally and emotionally.
1
SPEAKER_00
We do.
1
SPEAKER_01
Selfishness.
1
SPEAKER_01
I ve got one more, but I ll save that one.
1
SPEAKER_01
Let s go to the now what.
1
SPEAKER_01
I ve got a couple here.
1
SPEAKER_01
Number one, and this is an action you can take that I really think is important, and I m not saying this because we want you to invest in yourself in the Insider Program, but whatever you do, spend some money on yourself.
1
SPEAKER_01
And not just at the massage parlor or at the gentleman s bar.
1
SPEAKER_01
or Gentleman s Club, I m talking about investing in your own wellness, excellence.
1
SPEAKER_01
It could be a coach that you get.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s not a book, though.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s not investing in another podcast.
1
SPEAKER_01
You ve got to really say, I m going to invest in a coach, or in a program, or in a workshop, or in a live event, or something that s going to cause me to leave my current world behind and go expose myself to a new world.
1
SPEAKER_01
Like that s what a lot of people in The Insider say, is it s a new world.
1
SPEAKER_01
And as long as we stay in the old world, protected with fences and gates and the moat, and we don t enter a new world by investing in ourselves, we get sucked into that current.
1
SPEAKER_01
And it is a current.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s the current of the average.
1
SPEAKER_01
And we re trying to all get out of the current of the average.
1
SPEAKER_01
And the way we do it is we invest in ourselves.
1
SPEAKER_00
For sure.
1
SPEAKER_00
And there s something about the exchange of money and the action of doing something, like you said, even beyond pass a book or listening to a podcast that I think tells the world and tells your God and higher power or whatever else that, hey, I m in.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m doing something.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m doing something.
1
SPEAKER_00
I wrote down one, and this is just the one thing I m going to leave with, is I wrote down let yourself be moved.
1
SPEAKER_00
Let yourself be moved.
1
SPEAKER_00
Because I think sometimes we try to fight through this resistance too heavy.
1
SPEAKER_00
We try to battle through it.
1
SPEAKER_00
And it hasn t worked for me personally a lot.
1
SPEAKER_00
I try to fight my way out of it.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s true.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I ve learned it s been really hard.
1
SPEAKER_00
I just came through a period like this where I just had to let it be for a minute.
1
SPEAKER_00
One of my guys that I study with, he said, sometimes when you re knocked down, you stay down.
1
SPEAKER_00
and just sit there and learn to be in the pain, be in the hurt, be in that sort of thing can make you stronger coming out.
1
SPEAKER_00
Correct.
1
SPEAKER_00
So that s been what I ve been working on is let yourself be moved.
1
SPEAKER_00
I just came out of a kind of, I told you, kind of a messy, like just feeling kind of withdrawing.
1
SPEAKER_00
And instead of like, I got to go out and talk and meet and I m like, I m just going to be here for a minute.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I m just withdrawing.
1
SPEAKER_00
I just am.
1
SPEAKER_00
And guess what?
1
SPEAKER_00
I just, I can feel it.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m moving out of it.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I just let myself be that way.
1
SPEAKER_01
And ideas come to you and come to me in those times that if we re just rushing about, we don t have, our brains don t have time, doesn t have time to, brains don t, brains doesn t have time to do that.
1
SPEAKER_01
So I think that s really true.
1
SPEAKER_01
So, and that kind of gets back to one of my thing is just get your vision back.
1
SPEAKER_01
Just get, get, get,
1
SPEAKER_01
Start to reimagine, and I know that term s getting old too, but starting to think about what does my future look like?
1
SPEAKER_01
Okay, the future that I had as of January 1st of this year, probably not gonna happen, but let s redefine what the future looks like.
1
SPEAKER_01
So get your vision back, and get your boots back on, and go at it, and invest in yourself, shed that emotional stuff, and I think you ll find that this can be a unique opportunity for you.
1
SPEAKER_00
Amen to that, good one.
1
SPEAKER_01
All right.
1
SPEAKER_01
So once again, if you have not joined us in the Insider Program or just want to know more about it, you can go to advancedsellingpodcast.com slash insider.
1
SPEAKER_01
I know we talk about it a lot, but it really is something that we feel will benefit you over the next year as you seek to navigate all the craziness that is our sales world.
1
SPEAKER_01
So we would like to have you in there.
1
SPEAKER_01
It s $47 a month, pretty nominal.
1
SPEAKER_01
And we ll see you next week.
1
SPEAKER_01
Better work.
1
SPEAKER_01
Bye.
1
SPEAKER_01
Bye.