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In this episode of the Advanced Selling Podcast, I share a scruples question for all those girl dads out there.
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Bill has a similar story from his granddaughter s experience that you don t want to miss.
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And we philosophize about the key to sales life, joy and consistency.
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Welcome back to the Advanced Selling Podcast, the longest running sales training podcast, podcast history, the universe, the world, all the stars, they are aligned today.
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And I ve got my good friend, Brian Neal, with me today.
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Hello.
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Hi, greetings.
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Brian Neal here.
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We do this every week.
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We release every Monday.
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If you have just
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Discovered us and haven t really been with us for a while.
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You can go to advanced selling podcast calm There s a list of some top episodes there and I think it even says there s a little button there It says if you re new to the podcast check it out.
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You can see a little bit more about Brian and I we welcome you back every Monday We ve got great LinkedIn followers If you are not on our LinkedIn in our LinkedIn tribe go to advanced selling podcast comm slash LinkedIn That ll take you right there.
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Got a lot of those people in there.
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We do and
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OK, so this is, I want your opinion on this.
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This is for, what do they call them?
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Girl dads.
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It s a girl dad thing.
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Travis isn t a girl dad, right?
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You got a son, right?
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Sorry.
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So we re both girl dads, OK?
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Take yourself back, because I know your daughter just got engaged really great, and you got a couple grandkids with your other daughter.
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So you got to take yourself back.
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I was in Costco the other day, and there was a young father in there with two kids, a girl and a boy.
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And it s the men s bathroom.
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OK?
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The little girl, the boy must have been four, the girl three.
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And they were really close in age.
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So what was interesting to me, this is the funny part to me, was the son was going for, the dad was a little frazzled.
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You know how you get with your dad, and you re like, OK, go.
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Like, Trevor, you go.
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And she s like, OK, Sophie, you got to go in this other stall to go.
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And she starts throwing a fit.
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She goes, I want to go in there.
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She wanted to pee in the urinal.
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And she was pissed.
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that her brother got to pee in the urinal and she was screaming.
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He s like, you go in here.
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You can t go in there.
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And if you, if you don t, you re not going.
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And she s like, he goes, that s it.
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You re not going to the bathroom.
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He wouldn t let her go to the bathroom.
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I was like, dang dude.
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Like let her pee in the urinal.
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I don t care.
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Like whatever.
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But anyway, do you think it s okay for kids to come?
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This is not going the direction I thought it was going.
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But well, the thing is, do you think, is it a urinal question or is it more
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of a discipline question.
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I just thought, I didn t know what to do either.
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So I m in there, and I m like, should I leave?
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Like, I have to pee too.
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Should I help?
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It d be creepy.
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It d be creepy.
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Do I have to go?
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Here, I ll take her in.
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Can I use the urinal?
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Is that OK?
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I don t know.
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I just thought, and you know, there s obviously an age thing to that.
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But I m not sure it s cool these days to bring your daughter into the men s bathroom.
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I think it s still, yeah, at that age it probably is.
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It s a little easy.
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But when you have two of them, now you ve got triple the problems.
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Yeah.
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Which, now I didn t want to be smart alecky here.
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There is a family bathroom.
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there in most public places there are.
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That s what that s for, which is why, because I think it puts everyone in a comfortable spot.
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You know what I mean?
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Just everyone.
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So for all you girl dads, I d love to hear either in the LinkedIn group, if you re a girl dad, I don t know about that one.
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I think you should go in the family bathroom.
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But the poor little girl, she was so pissed.
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She couldn t go in the urinal.
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I felt bad for her.
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And I think it s a bad move on the father s part to say, OK, you re not going at all.
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That was the funny part to me.
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He s like, that s it.
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Wash your hands.
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It was really, really funny.
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I did have something funny yesterday.
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With my grandkids, they re four years old, a little over four, and Sawyer s the girl, Evan the boy.
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And we were all together celebrating a birthday.
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And Sawyer comes up to me, and she never has done this, but coming to me, grabs my hand.
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She goes, Papa, I got to go to the bathroom.
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I want you to go with me.
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So yeah, I went in and and I said would you like me to stay or would you like me to leave?
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Because I yeah, right And I thought it d be courteous.
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She goes stay and then she takes out a piece of toilet paper She goes here put this over your nose Like oh, you re gonna drop drop a significant one here, aren t you?
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Okay.
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Yeah.
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Thank you.
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Thank you But then she didn t she didn t she just did number one.
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Oh, yeah.
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It was all good.
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That s right.
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It is just
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It is funny, the whole bathroom drama.
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It s a deal.
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I know, I know.
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It s not so.
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OK, topic today.
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So I was pondering this on the edge of philosophical, but I think a really good one.
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So two things hit me over, as I mentioned in the pre-show, my crack research on TikTok.
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Because I think that s where, these days, if you re going to get really good news and information, you would obviously get that on TikTok.
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But I saw a psychologist talking about,
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in her field of study, a counterintuitive finding that the psychological behavioralists have discovered, and that is that the old school thing was we have to be motivated intrinsically inside of ourselves, and then that will drive our action.
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And what their research that she buys into says is that s actually the opposite, that actually action is the thing that drives motive.
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And then as I thought about, that s an interesting thing.
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And then I m also like kind of sitting back and looking at just all sorts of performance and you re like, Tom Brady s whatever he is, 43 or something, he s in great shape.
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And you look at our podcast and like, OK, what s the common thread there?
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And the common thread I kept landing on is the term consistency, which is overused.
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And I don t think we spend enough time really focusing on how absolutely critical consistent behavior is in selling.
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And salespeople, I m generalizing, by nature, tend to be pedal on, pedal off sort of people.
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They tend to go and then pull back and go and pull back.
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running spurts.
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So I want to talk about A, what do you think about that?
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And B, if consistency is true, what are some things that our listeners should be consistent at?
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That s the topic on the table today.
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Yeah, that s interesting, the whole what is the root cause of motivation?
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Is it behavior or is it something intrinsic just inside you?
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I also, I don t know.
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I mean, for me, I don t have to get motivated to come in here
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every Monday to do the podcast to record.
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I enjoy it, I enjoy you, I enjoy the camaraderie, I enjoy having Travis here.
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I don t have to think, oh God, I gotta muster some discipline up to come here.
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And so to me, joy is a part of that as well because I think I ll be better if I m looking forward to this versus I just do it because it s Monday at nine o clock and I have to be here and there s no joy in it.
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So I wonder, I like the consistency argument, but I also wonder what role pleasure or joy has in it that not only causes me to do it, but do it well and come with a full head of steam and heart and all that.
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I don t know.
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You think you have to.
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So let s play it out in the sales game.
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Let s say easy one is, this is a chapter in your book, Same Game, New Rules.
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By the way, if you re a listener, you don t have Bill s book.
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You need to get Bill s book, Same Game, New Rules.
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It s concerted, consistent market behavior.
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And so concerted to me means focused on purpose, that sort of thing.
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And consistent means I do it all the time.
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Are you saying the joy thing?
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Do I need to find joy in prospecting?
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Or do you think I can, even if I just know that I have to do it?
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Because you like what s at the end of it.
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The end, exactly.
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Am I chasing the end or am I chasing the path?
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Personally, I think you have to have joy in it.
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And I think you can.
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And I think the way we ve been taught to prospect, there is less joy in it.
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Right.
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Hammering out.
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Right.
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I mean, you still hear sales managers talking about hammering out 100 calls a month.
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Yes.
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And I was talking with a guy the other day who s with a large fortune, I don t know, 1,000 company in North America.
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And it s remarkable to me that s still the way they train their sales people.
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And these are cold calls.
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These are not calls that are coming from the web or that there s any kind of interest shown by the prospect.
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These are cold prospecting calls.
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That s what they do.
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And it works to a point, but even the manager says it doesn t work today like it did 10 years ago.
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So the point is that can we
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Can we shift our thinking to allow us to let joy seep into the prospecting process just a little bit?
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See, I think that s really great to think about.
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Because if you are in the mode where you know that you re tasked with doing a certain level of behavior, and that feels like a grind,
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Ask yourself, how can I find joy in this?
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In the process, not in the outcome.
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I think that s the trick, is that people need to switch over, don t they?
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They need to switch over.
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Because the old way is, well, you ve got to put your hand in the meat grinder because you ll enjoy the, well, you wouldn t enjoy eating your hand.
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That s not the way that saying goes.
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Oh.
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I love putting my hand in the meat grinder.
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Yes.
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So yeah, I like consistency.
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I like joy.
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And so in sales, how does one get one s self to see joy in what can be a thankless behavior, which is cold outreach?
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Yes.
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Yes, yes, yes.
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And not that we re saying that s the only thing, because I do think that today s concerted market activity versus when the book was written first 10 years ago is different.
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You might say, well, today, I might not make an hour s worth of cold calls, I may make a half
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hours with the call calls and a half hour doing LinkedIn invitations or LinkedIn content or something.
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So it s changed.
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Yes.
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And that, to me, is the trick.
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So if you re listening to this, which you are, and you think, OK, I love what Bill s saying, joy, and I know the consistency is there where you re hearing that, what to do, I think you need to pick your
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path on prospecting.
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Let s use that as an example.
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Because there are certain prospecting behaviors that people like more than others.
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I love warm connecting.
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I love to search for people on LinkedIn and try to find my way warm.
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It s almost a game to me.
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I almost get like, I can t stop.
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So if you told me, and I love doing this when I m in coaching sessions with my clients and we re doing LinkedIn training, I tell me I have them and they can be anywhere in the country.
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Like, OK, give me someone you re trying to get to that you can t get to.
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And I try, I don t always get there.
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I really love that.
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I will never make a cold call, ever.
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I hate it.
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I wouldn t do it.
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That doesn t mean you shouldn t, or it doesn t work.
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But you re still doing cold outreach, aren t you?
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Or is it introduced?
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Are you getting introduced?
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I m trying to get introduced, but even that outreach could be somewhat cooler.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, but it s still, but it s the, but I love the point is you said you don t have to get motivated to come here to record this show, nor do I. We look forward to it.
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In fact, we had some miscommunication this morning.
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I said it might be delayed and I was like longing for you guys, like waiting, like you and your dog sits in the window.
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Where are my podcast guys?
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A little bit panicky, but anyway.
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We were live on Clubhouse for the first time and you know, we had three people are yeah now we ve got one But you know what when we first started the podcast we didn t have any listeners did we that s now we got thousands I don t Whitney Hello Whitney.
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She s awesome
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So I think you need to find the path that s the most joyful for you, that you enjoy, that you don t have to get intrinsically motivated to do, because that s an easier path to consistency, because you love to do it.
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It s kind of commonsensical.
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But it s so funny how we fight the other direction, right?
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We re like, oh, you ve got to make it cool.
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There s like pride in grinding.
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I think that s crazy.
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Yes.
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You know what I mean?
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There is.
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You got to pound the phones, man.
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And then I think you re right.
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At the end of the day, it s nice for me to look to you and say, hey, how many call calls you make?
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Totally.
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I made 150.
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Yes.
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I got one appointment.
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Oh, good.
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That was exactly great.
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Did you enjoy the day?
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Oh, yeah.
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Oh, I loved it.
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It brought a lot of joy to me.
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Yes.
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But so let s think about what would be the thing that would cause you, let s say you re in a cold outreach position and you re really truly making cold calls on people who aren t expecting nor probably wanting your call.
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What could you do to spice that up a little bit?
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Because you can
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You can talk yourself in, well, you know, I m helping people.
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But at some point, you re still making a frickin  cold call.
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So could you, what if you had something to give?
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What if you had something to give during that call?
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I ve got a client who just started a podcast.
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Actually, he s a podcast listener too, Steven Rosenthal.
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Steven, he s in the Insider Program.
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I say I have a client because we re getting ready to do some work with him.
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That s great.
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Actually starting tomorrow.
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And one of the things that he is doing with his podcast is he s interviewing his potential clients.
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That s great.
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So he s interviewed a lot of people who are experts in the industry, but now he s moving to, he wants to interview clients because he wants them to be spotlighted on his podcast.
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And guess what?
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He gets to know them a little bit.
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Well, when he makes the cold call outreach to those potential clients, he s not asking for anything.
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He s giving an interview.
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He s giving something that will be valuable to them, and they ll enjoy, too.
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So that s just an example.
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I m not suggesting you go out and start a podcast just to do that, although that may be the vehicle.
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The point is that when you re making these calls, do you have something to give them?
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Is there something of value that they re going to get and receive out of taking this call?
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what that is, then the call becomes easy.
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It s because it s a gifting call.
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Absolutely.
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That s fantastic.
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I also think the giving kind of made me think of that.
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And I just, I ve got the, have you read the book, The Go-Giver?
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I ve not read it.
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I just have it in my library.
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I just ran across it this morning and I didn t read that.
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I read it or I listened to books, but I listened to a different one instead.
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But that concept of what I understand the book is about is just about that.
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It s about giving more and then not worrying about the outcomes.
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I never liked the title of that book.
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The Go-Giver?
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That s probably why I. Really?
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I think it s kind of clever.
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Clever title, The Go-Giver.
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Maybe that s it.
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It s too clever for my brain.
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It s not as good as Same Game, New Rules, let s be honest.
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Wow.
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But you know.
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Or The Insider.
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That s a great title, actually.
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I love the title.
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So the giving idea.
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So I just did this this morning.
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So I have a friend, a personal friend, but work friend, too, and another personal friend, work friend.
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Our kids kind of play sports together and stuff.
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And one guy said, hey, there s this opportunity available at this company here in Indianapolis.
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Do you know anyone there?
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And I said, actually, I do.
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I know this other guy.
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And we all have kids in the same high school, but those two didn t know each other.
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But they didn t know each other.
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No.
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So I sent him a text this morning, together, connecting.
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They were both so thankful and happy about that.
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And I didn t even think.
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So I love doing that.
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It gives me joy.
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I feel like I help two people out.
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It s glue, and who knows where it goes.
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And sometimes you find out later, like, oh my gosh, that connection turned into a job for a guy, or a deal, or whatever.
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And that joy that you feel, to me, carries on through the day, the week, the month.
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Absolutely.
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So that when you have hard times,
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it doesn t bother you as much.
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It s just like, because it s like, well, I brought, you know, you re not consciously saying, well, I brought joy to a guy three days ago, but it s in there.
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It s like fuel.
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And see, that s, what s hitting me in the head right now as we re recording this, even thinking is that you re right.
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There s, there s the, uh, the wake of doing that behavior carries me through to do more consistent behavior of a similar type.
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And I think that s the trick.
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And if you re listening to this, you re probably engaging in outbound type behavior that brings you no joy, which is why it s hard, which is why you don t do it consistently.
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The switch here today is find the things.
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And I gave you two examples.
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Bill gave you examples that you find joy in.
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Like, Bill loves doing videos and interviews and stuff like that, I think, right?
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I mean, you really enjoy it.
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And so that s his path, to have the guy at the gym come up to him and say, are you Bill Kasky?
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And I said, watch your videos, because that s what he does.
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So your trick here listening today, I think, is to find those paths that bring you joy first, engage in those behaviors, and then watch your consistency take care of itself.
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I think that s the real lesson here today on this episode.
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And sometimes the paths that you pick won t be financially rewarding right away.
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Like the podcast, there was no money in the podcast when we started.
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It wasn t for years.
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And now we have clients and people call us and say, hey, can you come in and work with our team?
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We ve got the insider program.
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So sometimes you ll have to do it just to do it because you enjoy doing it.
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But good things will happen from it.
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Yes.
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And if we think of a, and you and I have both started and stopped hundreds of things in the 15 years that we ve been doing the podcast.
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But this brings us so much joy that consistency is easy.
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It just takes care of itself.
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Even when it gets to a point, like you said, there have been times when we did it for a long time and made zero.
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And we re like, is this worth it?
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Is this worth it?
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But it s so fun.
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Like, you know what?
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It s certainly not hurting anything.
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And it s really enjoyable.
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And I get lifted up every time we record.
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Okay, that s it.
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I hope you got something out of that.
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By the way, if you haven t joined the LinkedIn group, go do that, and check our website.
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Go to our website, just check it out.
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It s really nice and pretty, and there s a lot of cool stuff you can find on there, the advancedsellingpodcast.com website.
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Yeah, and if you re on Clubhouse, follow both Brian and I, and we ll be doing this again, and we ll do it a little bit better this time.
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For the people who are on Clubhouse, it wasn t quite as good of a listening experience, but as it was for you who are in our audience.
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And thank you for listening, and we ll see you next time.
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Cheers, bye.