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This is the art of charm.
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Learn everything you need to know to crush it in business, love, and life.
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Welcome to The Art of Jon.
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I m your host, Jordan Harbinger.
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Today we re talking with my friend, Sean Blanchard.
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From crack baby to author, speaker, and mentorship specialist, he has succeeded in spite of his upbringing and managed to evolve into an upstanding gentleman and an inspirational leader to many.
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Today we re going to talk about how we find mentors, a systematic approach to leveraging mentorship, and why mentorship is not about making rock stars, but making people better than they would have been without you.
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And I thought this show was really interesting.
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We did it in person here in Detroit.
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And while I was there, he got calls from both of his brothers, both in prison, one in state and one in federal, and a city councilwoman making sure he was ready for a celebrity basketball game.
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So he really does have one foot in both worlds.
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Enjoy this one with Sean Blanchard.
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And with that, welcome to the Art of Charm.
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We bring together the best thought leaders, teachers, and exceptional individuals to teach you how to be a top performer in life, love, and at work.
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If you re new to the show, we d love to send you some top episodes and the toolbox where we discuss body language and nonverbal communication, persuasion, networking, negotiation, and everything else we teach here at AOC.
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In the US, just text charmed to 33444.
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That s C-H-A-R-M-E-D to 33444.
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And everywhere else, go to theartofcharm.com.
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We may not have all the answers, but we definitely have all the right questions.
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All right, here s Sean Blanchard.
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So even right before we start, you re getting a message from your oldest brother that s in, is it federal prison?
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Right, he s in federal prison.
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And he s asking you to go grab his car, and he s asking you to move some stuff.
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So you re going to University of Michigan.
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You re already a little bit different than everybody.
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I mean, you re growing up in this really kind of weird, unusual way that not a lot of people can maybe identify with.
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Yeah, definitely.
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How does that affect you?
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Because it seems like you ve got one foot in all this mess that you grew up in, and you ve got another foot, and you re maybe looking forward in a different direction, but it seems like it would weigh you down.
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Well, you know what, it s kind of like this.
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A lot of times, even as we ask some questions here about growing up and different things of that nature, what you ll realize is that
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You know, when you re in a particular environment, you don t know anything else.
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It s just Tuesday.
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It s just Tuesday.
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Yeah.
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So to everyone else, they re like, oh, my God.
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But to you, it s like it s Wednesday.
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What s the problem?
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And it actually makes you a very.
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to astain a number of different things, which is why I went into the type of work that I went into, but we ll get to that.
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We ll get to that.
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And it s interesting for me because we both went to Michigan, and I m thinking, you go to a school like that, you just assume everybody grew up in a similar way.
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I could have been sitting next to you in that class we were talking about, game theory, where I didn t understand anything that was going on.
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I would have had no idea that you grew up in this very different environment.
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Tell me about how you grew up.
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You had a completely different life than, probably than most people listening right now.
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Yeah.
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So even starting from the bottom, I mean, I was born with drugs in my system and I was given to my grandparents because my mother and father, they couldn t really decide who was going to keep me.
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And I have seven brothers, you know, three of them now are deceased.
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Three of them have been to prison.
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My oldest brother is currently serving a life sentence and is allegedly one of Detroit s most notorious drug lords.
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My mom, she was a professional shoplifter, God rest her, and that s what she did by profession.
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What s interesting about it, a lot of times people can think that, oh wow, so she did drugs or she did that.
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Oh wow, so she must have been one of those people with white lips scratching her neck.
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Yeah, that s kind of what I envision when you hear drug addicts or somebody who had a baby with drugs in his system, yeah.
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Right, right, but we never think about Wolf on Wall Street.
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That s true, yeah, that s a good point.
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And my mom, she was a beautiful woman, always had like a Cadillac
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or a Lincoln and wore mint coats, but she had fun how she had fun.
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She was a very interesting person who didn t finish high school and just live a very extremely interesting life, who lived off of shoplifting.
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So, I mean, you come up in an environment where, I mean, by the time I was 11, I was selling crack.
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11 years old.
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Yeah, 11 years old.
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And who teaches you how to sell crack when you re 11?
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Do you remember this process?
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Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
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So my older brother, Mike.
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My older brother, Mike, he s unfortunately deceased.
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He was killed in a drug transaction when I was 14, and his twin was already deceased.
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But when I was 11, I was curious.
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I saw him doing what he was doing.
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When I was seven, I was hip to what he was doing when he was 14.
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So I was just like, wow.
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And I saw him literally in the summer
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save up enough money to buy a Camaro.
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Which is something that most of us listening right now still could not do.
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Even if you work at a law firm, you d have a hard time buying a Camaro with the money you earned over the summer.
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Right, right.
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I sat there and saw him save and do that.
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And I saw that when I was like seven.
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So by the time I got 11 years old, and I would see him actually creating a product,
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I walked in on him, and I was just curious.
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And it s a matter of this, he knows how he was when he got wind of the product.
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And so it was more so like, you know what, I can either teach him, or he s gonna go out there and try to figure something out.
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So my brother showed me how, kept me safe because he kept it with him.
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until he passed on when I was 14.
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So, it sounds weird to even say this, but at that point, knowing that you re either going to go out and figure out how to make crack yourself and get in trouble doing it, or he s going to teach you almost one of the more responsible options, and I know I m gonna get email about this, but one of the more responsible options.
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is essentially to make sure that you do it in a way that doesn t get you killed, at least keeps you somewhat safe.
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What does it look like when he s out doing that?
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You see him out on the street just hanging out, and then it looks like he s not doing that much work, and he comes back with a stack of cash.
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I mean, what got you interested in it?
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Just the Camaro?
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I mean, you must have seen the day-to-day at some level.
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Yeah, I did see the day-to-day.
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And the interesting thing was, initially, what I saw was the gold chains.
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You know, I would see the car.
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I would see his interaction with the ladies and how everybody liked him.
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He just is such a likable, charismatic guy.
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So he was just a cool guy to emulate.
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Once I actually saw him and I saw the baggies and I saw what he was doing and he showed me, I m like, dude, what is this?
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People buy this?
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He s like, yeah, man.
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And he just told me all about it.
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And I saw him on the bike going up and down the block, people stopping him, him just selling this stuff until he got a car.
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And then when he got his car, he would actually just drive around and people would flash their lights at him or page him on his pager.
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And he d make his connections.
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We d go in houses and we d give people what they need in exchange for money all the time.
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And to me, I m just like, listen,
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Look, if you go to someone, you give them something, they give you money, that s a good scenario.
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That s a business, right?
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It s like we just left out of here in a matter of moments, he has $5,000.
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I don t see people make that in months, right?
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So it was a matter of saying like, wow, that was pretty darn awesome.
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And he s doing this type of thing every single day.
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Right, especially when you re seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, you re not thinking, hmm, this does harm to society as a whole, we probably shouldn t do this.
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There s no calculation.
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Quite frankly, you don t really care.
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It s like you watch movies like Menace to Society, you think about, look, this is how people are sustaining themselves.
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And you look at even the good things that they ll do, like he s taking care of his family.
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He s taking care of like a lot of people in the family.
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He s like a very kind person.
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It doesn t look like he s hurting anybody.
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And the people that want to purchase it, they want it.
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He s not forcing them to do it.
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So it was a matter of, I was like, wow, it s the law of economics, it s supply and demand.
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So, right, there s no calculation and you didn t really care, because, you know, you re watching these movies and things like that, but knowing that your mom also indulged in substances, was there any part of you that said, well, this makes my mom do things that I don t like, maybe we shouldn t make other people s moms do things we don t like, or was that just way off in the distance?
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It was more like this.
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you know, my brother would say, you don t get high off your own supply.
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So it was a matter of like, not that, oh, we shouldn t do this to others, but mom, what the hell are you doing?
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Right.
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You know, so like, you should know better than that, but not necessarily stop anybody else from doing it.
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It s not like I grew up in a family that went to church all the time and had all these morals or anything like that.
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It was more so survival of the fittest.
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And like I said, again, it s just Tuesday.
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It s just Tuesday, yeah.
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So you re born with drugs in your system.
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You have brothers and sisters at this, oh sorry, you have brothers and sisters at this point.
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You saw your parents in the same room one time.
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Right.
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Your whole childhood.
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When was that?
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It was actually at my father s funeral.
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So your parents and your childhood existence, your parents are actually never together.
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No, no.
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My mom, she glorified my father though.
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And I look just like him.
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So every time that she would see me, it was always, Oh my God, you look just like your daddy.
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Oh my God, you look just like your daddy.
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Whenever I would see him, he d never mentioned her.
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Oh, really?
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What did that do to the balance of your parents  relationship in your own mind?
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That must have been really strange.
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Like, hey, you know, your mom is really into your dad, but your dad doesn t think twice about it.
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That must have, at some level, shaped the way that you viewed your own relationships.
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Well, you know what?
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I think what happened with my father, he had a whole nother family.
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So he was married.
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Him and my mom were together.
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Then after me,
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he moved on.
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You know, he got married, he had a kid and everything.
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So rightfully so, he didn t talk about her because he has a wife.
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So I didn t see it as anything like some type of injustice or malice on his behalf.
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I just saw it like, you know what, that s good he s not talking about this woman all the time because you re freaking married, dude.
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Right?
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Sure.
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In that way, it probably changed the way you viewed your mother a little bit, because at this point, you re starting to become cognizant of the fact that she steals for a living, has a drug issue, and kind of has a weird one-sided relationship with your dad.
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Who s raising you?
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Yeah, so I was with my grandparents.
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I was with my grandmother, who was the primary caretaker, which is my father s mother.
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Interesting woman, loved her with all of my heart, mind, and fiber.
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Unfortunately, she died when I was 12 years old.
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You can t catch a break at this point.
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Your role models are all bad.
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Would you agree with that or is that too harsh?
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You know what, I like to say, the way I look at it, I didn t really view them as bad.
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Even my mom, I looked at her as an entrepreneur.
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You know, so.
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I guess technically that could be true.
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Yeah.
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I really looked at people.
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What I would do is I would just abstract the good from them.
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So for my mom, she was a hustler.
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She was an entrepreneur.
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It wasn t just everything was just very not conventional.
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But I just looked at my brother and I m like, man, he has his own hustle.
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And so he doesn t do what mom does.
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So I guess that means we should all be creative and we don t have to all do the same thing.
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So it kind of, and everyone says, you re smart, Sean, keep going to school.
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So in my mind, that s a bit of my hustle.
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How long were you doing the drug dealing thing while you were being raised by your grandma?
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At what point did your aspirations change from I want to be a drug dealer like my brother to I want to do something else, I want to get an education, I want to change this?
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They moved simultaneously for quite a while.
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So what you have is, I mean, I was always in the honors classes.
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I was always on the honor roll.
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I just, I did interesting things after school.
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And after my grandmother died when I was 12 years old, I didn t have any rules anymore.
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So at that point, you know, I could leave Monday, come back Thursday.
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My grandfather, he didn t mind.
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He was a good guy, but he, he wasn t into like rearing kids like that.
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And you get to the point where when I was 14 years old, that s when my brother died.
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A couple of weeks later, my dad died.
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A few months later, my oldest brother, Terry, was shot by the police and then went to prison.
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Wow.
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You know, my grandmother s gone.
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My brother is in prison.
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My other brother was murdered in a drug transaction.
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His twin is gone.
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My father is gone.
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You know, I don t have any rules at this point.
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What I had, those were like all my caretakers.
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Yeah.
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So what I had at that point, I do have five sisters as well.
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What I had at that point as far as a driving force, I had my younger brother and I m 15 and he s 10.
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And so at that point, I didn t have rules.
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Nobody went to parent-teacher conference for me, but I was going for him.
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So you started to raise your younger brother.
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When I was 15.
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When you were 15.
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Right.
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Were you still selling drugs at this point to make ends meet?
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Absolutely.
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So I did a, yeah, there s all types of scams.
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You re going, I m trying to sort of put these things together.
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So you re doing, it s like you re, you gotta leave parent teacher conferences early cause you re getting paged.
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Somebody wants some, some.
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Was it crack at this point?
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It was weed at that point.
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Weed at that point, okay.
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Jewelry scams, weed, it was whatever kind of hustles, all kind of different hustles.
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Like I said, I would see my brother and I would see my mom and I would say, you know what, they re doing things in a very interesting way, so I can do things in my interesting way.
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So I didn t necessarily do exactly what they did.
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I d even get a job at Red Lobster, but on payday, I would bring weed with me.
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Right, so all the guys who work there would spend some of their pay.
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I m not gonna stand on the corner like all these other ridiculous guys, right?
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I m not gonna do that.
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They re not changing clothes.
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That s crazy.
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It s a matter of like, I ll just go to work, and on payday, I ll get paid.
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Yeah, you just doubled your payday, weed delivery to Red Lobster.
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Right, and so it s a matter of, and the cool, I think one of the coolest things was, I didn t have the rules, but I gave my younger brother rules.
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How did you even know how to do that?
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Well, you see, and that s the thing.
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So, you know, I grew up so fast, right?
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And it was a matter of always knowing I m smart and everybody telling me I m smart, always hustling, always being more so the go-to guy.
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People have questions, ask Sean.
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Like, you know, if I m in school, it s like you re in student government, you re in the debate team.
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And it s like, you know, you re doing all these things and you re the go-to guy.
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Your younger brother asks you this, you re the fresh guy, the cool guy, the prom king guy, the honor roll guy.
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And after school, you re hustling because you ve seen people do it.
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So you understand it.
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I was a bit ahead of my time.
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I m fathering a kid, right?
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So the rules that I gave to him, I followed those so that he would follow me.
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And so those rules were, it was very easy.
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It s just three of them.
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One, go to school, get good grades.
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Second thing is, get girls.
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That was a rule?
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It s a rule.
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Why was that a rule?
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Well, it was more of an unspoken rule of cool.
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Okay.
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So it s like, and number three, get money.
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But the thing was, for him, it was like, you know, that was on pause for you because it ll go through me.
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But those are my rules that I have about how I m going to move things forward.
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Now, let s get back to Sean Blanchard.
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I was all impressed with your parenting, and then I heard the rules, so I take it back.
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No, but for real, I applaud that you stepped up to raise your brother.
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That seems highly unusual.
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I don t know many 15-year-olds that would be like, oh, well this is my job now, I have to do this.
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I don t think that s common.
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Well, you know what?
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SPEAKER_00
So what I saw with my brother, Mike, at 14, I saw him really taking care of business for the family as he saved up money and did his thing.
1
SPEAKER_00
My brother died before he was 21 years old, and he was like the breadwinner on my mother s side of the family.
1
SPEAKER_00
So to me, the concept of who s in control, who causes shots,
1
SPEAKER_00
I didn t see age on that that mandated what you do, right?
1
SPEAKER_00
So I m 11, 12 years old driving across the country for my mom on shoplifting excursions.
1
SPEAKER_00
So the whole concept of right, wrong, age limits, what is that?
1
SPEAKER_00
Are you even killing the mind?
1
SPEAKER_00
Are you intelligent enough?
1
SPEAKER_00
Are you fit for whatever you re doing at the moment?
1
SPEAKER_00
That s the only thing that really matters.
1
SPEAKER_00
So by the time, you gotta imagine, by the time I m going to college, I m a grown man.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m 17.
1
SPEAKER_00
I m going to Michigan and it s a matter of, you know, my peers are excited that they get free time.
1
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, dude, your homework done, sit down.
1
SPEAKER_00
It s just a matter of really being focused on what my hustle was, my hustle with school.
1
SPEAKER_00
So when did I shift, right?
1
SPEAKER_00
And like I said, it was simultaneous, but at some point it has to cut off, right?
1
SPEAKER_00
So I ll tell you, while we were at Michigan together in 2001, November 19, I actually got caught for some illegal activity with jewelry.
1
SPEAKER_00
in Ann Arbor, so basically, I got caught up and I was on the news.
1
SPEAKER_00
The police pulled us over right there on North Campus.
1
SPEAKER_00
It was pretty interesting, man.
1
SPEAKER_00
The Bursley Bates bus was driving past the engineering building.
1
SPEAKER_00
You know where these things are.
1
SPEAKER_00
I had like 10, 15 squad cars all around the car that we were in, and I was going to jail.
2
SPEAKER_01
somebody told on you, or how did that happen?
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, so what happened was there were some guys, and this is all in the book, there were some guys that would steal jewelry, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
But it s a question of, if you re gonna steal jewelry, who are you gonna sell it to?
2
SPEAKER_01
You can steal a $40,000 diamond, but.
2
SPEAKER_01
who are you going to?
2
SPEAKER_00
Right, not somebody living in South Quad who s trying to get a meal card to eat.
2
SPEAKER_01
Right, and I mean, these guys are from Detroit.
2
SPEAKER_01
So these guys, not someone in South Quad, not someone in the hood where I grew up, that s not gonna happen.
2
SPEAKER_01
So they need to know some people with some money.
2
SPEAKER_01
I knew a lot of people with a lot of money.
2
SPEAKER_01
Did you meet them at college?
2
SPEAKER_01
No, these were people that I knew from back home that were heavy hitters in the drug game and different things of that nature.
2
SPEAKER_01
Just from doing what I was doing in high school, I knew a lot of people.
2
SPEAKER_00
So you still have one leg in that world, you still got one leg or another leg looking forward.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, and I m on the honor roll at Michigan.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, which I was not.
2
SPEAKER_00
So you re on the honor roll getting arrested, and I m not on the honor roll at study hall trying to figure out game theory, which is a class that you cruised through.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, man.
2
SPEAKER_01
So what s interesting, actually, I had the network.
2
SPEAKER_01
We can look at Malcolm Gladwell, and he talks about connectors.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I was a connector.
2
SPEAKER_01
And what I would do is I had the product, and I also had the demand from the people who had the money.
2
SPEAKER_01
And what I would do is I would connect the two.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I mean, you can sell this $40,000 diamond for 10,000 to these guys.
2
SPEAKER_01
Now you have to give me 2,000, and they re gonna give me 2,500 when they go sell it for 30.
2
SPEAKER_01
So it s a matter of a phone call, I make money.
2
SPEAKER_00
So yeah, so you re literally, this is arbitrage.
2
SPEAKER_00
So you could have done this with grain, oil, water, any kind of commodity, but instead, because of where you grew up and the people that you knew, you did it with stolen jewelry.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I was at Michigan majoring in math and economics.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, that is unbelievable.
2
SPEAKER_00
How did you find good mentors, good examples?
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, you know, I think something that was interesting that took place was while I was at Michigan and that situation happened, it was at that point that I was in that cell and I saw myself on the news.
2
SPEAKER_00
You saw yourself on the news from the jail cell.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh man.
2
SPEAKER_01
Right, so there was a TV in the distance.
2
SPEAKER_01
When I saw that image of myself, I ve never thought that that would be me.
2
SPEAKER_01
I thought I was pretty much invincible because I lived this double life.
2
SPEAKER_01
I m in Michigan now.
2
SPEAKER_01
All of my schemes are kind of working out.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so it was at that point, I actually said the realest prayer that I said to date, to date at that time.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I had read like a Bible that was sitting on the counter that was in the cell.
2
SPEAKER_01
Again, I didn t grow up like that, but it was a new modern translation.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so if God is real, he s going to let me get out of here.
2
SPEAKER_01
And now I vow to make sure that young people don t end up in situations like this.
2
SPEAKER_00
What happened when he got back to school?
2
SPEAKER_00
They must have been like, hey, you can t keep doing criminal stuff while you re enrolled in our economics program.
2
SPEAKER_00
Nobody ever said anything.
2
SPEAKER_00
Nobody said anything.
2
SPEAKER_01
Professors were trying to bail me out.
2
SPEAKER_00
Really?
2
SPEAKER_00
Because they knew it was a waste of potential to have you go sit in jail.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I mean, nobody ever knew that side of me, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
So again, I m in high school on a debate team, student government, and I get to college and it s like I have above 3.0, like I m involved, I m doing tours around campus for people, you know?
2
SPEAKER_01
So I wasn t a bad kid, I was just into some things that I shouldn t have been into.
2
SPEAKER_01
I was exposed to things that I shouldn t have been exposed to in the first place.
2
SPEAKER_00
How did you start to realize that the people you were around were not good examples to follow?
2
SPEAKER_00
Or did you always know?
2
SPEAKER_01
Well, you kind of always know that, but it s a matter of are they getting caught?
2
SPEAKER_01
Because if you don t really have a huge moral responsibility, you really don t care.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I think the first dose of the most positive person besides my grandmother who listened to Hardcore was a high school counselor that I had.
2
SPEAKER_01
Her name was Miss Champion.
2
SPEAKER_01
And she actually graduated from Michigan.
2
SPEAKER_01
She was in a sorority and she was gorgeous.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so, you know, while I was in high school, she began to tell me that, you know, I was smart and I was going to be a Michigan man.
2
SPEAKER_01
She knew some things that I was doing.
2
SPEAKER_01
So she always checked my report card because nobody was checking anymore because of her.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s why I went to Michigan.
2
SPEAKER_01
I didn t know anything about college.
2
SPEAKER_00
Sure, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_00
Who would have told you about college?
2
SPEAKER_00
Nobody.
2
SPEAKER_01
I mean, in my high school, this is a random high school in the west side of Detroit.
2
SPEAKER_01
This wasn t... This is not a charter school, yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, this is not CAST Tech, not at all.
2
SPEAKER_01
That s where my dad went, by the way.
2
SPEAKER_01
And what s cool is that Detroit does have some good schools such as CAST Tech, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
And even today it s still a really good school, but that just wasn t what I was around.
2
SPEAKER_01
So to be able to even go to the University of Michigan for my high school was a big deal.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I just didn t conceive that.
2
SPEAKER_01
I didn t understand that until I got there and figured it out where I was.
2
SPEAKER_01
I didn t know.
2
SPEAKER_00
Yeah, was there a realization one day where you were like, this is a big deal?
2
SPEAKER_01
I was at the summer bridge program and I remember they were talking to us about Michigan and they were just saying how the average student here has a 3.9 GPA.
2
SPEAKER_01
From high school.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yeah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Not me.
2
SPEAKER_01
And a 32 on the ACT.
2
SPEAKER_01
Oh my God.
2
SPEAKER_01
And so I was just like, wow.
2
SPEAKER_01
Okay, and they were like, you are the presidents of this and that, and la la la, and when I began to talk to some of the peers, if they were in student government like I was, they were like, I was a president and I raised $350,000.
2
SPEAKER_01
For this and that.
2
SPEAKER_01
Or they would say something like, if they were on the debate team, yeah, we won nationals.
2
SPEAKER_00
Wow, did you feel outgunned at that point?
2
SPEAKER_00
Like, what am I doing here?
2
SPEAKER_01
You know what, I felt a bit all gun, you know, but like any scenario, I kind of felt like, you know what, this just calls for me.
2
SPEAKER_01
Because again, I was still a good student, a good kid, a good leader.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it was just like, okay, I m here for a reason.
2
SPEAKER_01
Formative action definitely helped me out.
2
SPEAKER_01
But I was like, you know what, I m here for a reason.
2
SPEAKER_01
My first semester I had all A s and a B plus.
2
SPEAKER_00
Not bad, that s better than what I got my first semester of college, I m pretty sure.
2
SPEAKER_00
How do we find mentors?
2
SPEAKER_00
It almost sounds like you got lucky and you had that counselor.
2
SPEAKER_00
What if I m listening right now and I m thinking, I don t have a counselor?
2
SPEAKER_01
You know what s so good about that?
2
SPEAKER_01
So this is Jordan, my book, How About That for a Crack Baby, Keys to Mentorship and Success.
2
SPEAKER_01
I leverage mentorship to get me where I am today.
2
SPEAKER_01
And it was kind of like the universe aligned with me initially with Miss Champion, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
But beyond that, once I got out of jail, I was only there for three days and three nights, resurrected like Christ on them.
2
SPEAKER_01
Once I got out of there, I began to cut off the dead weight.
2
SPEAKER_01
And I began to look towards, okay, I need to take advantage of these people that I m around here.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I began to not only just have mentors, but friend tours.
2
SPEAKER_01
I had all these people that came from all these interesting backgrounds and their parents do all this really cool stuff, and they knew why they were in school.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I began to take advantage of my peer group, friend tours.
2
SPEAKER_01
And then from there, what I started to do from a mentor standpoint, there were all these people that already liked me, and they re already saying, like, hey, if you ever need anything.
2
SPEAKER_01
But a lot of young people just don t take advantage of that.
2
SPEAKER_00
No, I can count on one hand the number of times before I started actively developing networking skills where someone says, hey, if you ever need anything, let me know.
2
SPEAKER_00
That s almost like,
2
SPEAKER_00
hey, we should hang out sometime.
2
SPEAKER_01
And you re just like, whatever, man, it s never gonna happen.
2
SPEAKER_01
Exactly.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s like somebody saying, hey, how s your day?
2
SPEAKER_01
And they really don t care you re talking to passing, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
Right.
2
SPEAKER_01
But that s not passing conversation with a lot of adults.
2
SPEAKER_01
When a lot of adults say that, they re actually being genuine.
2
SPEAKER_01
Just a lot of people don t take advantage of it.
2
SPEAKER_01
Sure.
2
SPEAKER_01
And if they do take advantage of it, people are open and willing and ready to help you out, especially when you re a person, a young person that s actually already trying to do something positive.
2
SPEAKER_01
Sure.
2
SPEAKER_01
People want to help you.
2
SPEAKER_01
Yes.
2
SPEAKER_01
So what I began to do is take advantage of all of those relationships and conversations and even spark those conversations myself.
2
SPEAKER_00
Fast-forwarding to right now, I mean, you run your own networking groups that have kind of a fitness focus, which I think is important because if you just run a networking group, nobody wants to show up.
2
SPEAKER_00
It sounds boring, sounds like something that old people do, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
You have to discover networking, you have to discover making connections as a young person by having good things happen as a result and then seeing the pattern, right?
2
SPEAKER_00
So you ve got these networking groups with a fitness focus that people wanna go to for multiple reasons.
2
SPEAKER_00
And I d imagine when you grow up around a lot of negativity and danger, you know, the drug dealing, the criminal activity, one of the challenges is actually meeting people who are even interested in getting out of that situation and moving up instead of digging in and trying to become part of the problem so that they can maybe get theirs.
2
SPEAKER_00
So it seems like these networking groups that you run are doing a good job of introducing other people, kids especially, to people who think, hey look, I don t want to be here forever selling weed.
2
SPEAKER_00
I don t want to be here forever shoplifting for money.
2
SPEAKER_01
And you know, what s interesting about that is two things.
2
SPEAKER_01
One, I would say that I think that people are attracted to what s attractive.
2
SPEAKER_01
For example, if I would ve saw a guy like me or you, and I was younger, man, I would ve jumped at the chance to connect with that guy.
2
SPEAKER_01
It s like, oh man, you have this cool show, so you just talk to people, and you re like Oprah, that s cool.
2
SPEAKER_00
Right, you know?
2
SPEAKER_00
Like a skinny, white Oprah.
2
SPEAKER_01
Like that would ve been really cool to me, right?
2
SPEAKER_01
I would ve automatically been drawn to you just like I was drawn to my brother Mike.
2
SPEAKER_01
So I think that if we expose people to cool things to do, people will merge towards us.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s one.
3
SPEAKER_01
The second thing is, with a networking group such as Networking Out, the Run This Town, a fitness group that myself and a couple of friends of mine created, it was really about networking out.
3
SPEAKER_01
So it s a number of professionals that range in age.
3
SPEAKER_01
People could bring their kids if they want to, and it s people that are out there from six pack all the way up to trying out for the Biggest Loser, from grandkid to grandfather.
3
SPEAKER_01
You have a number of people that at times we would have
3
SPEAKER_01
almost 500 people out there.
3
SPEAKER_01
Wow.
3
SPEAKER_01
Would you do it out here on the riverfront?
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, we would do it on the riverfront.
3
SPEAKER_01
Also, in the winter times, we would go indoors.
3
SPEAKER_01
Yeah, I would hope so.
3
SPEAKER_01
That would be really cool.
3
SPEAKER_01
Now, since I do so much traveling and speaking and things of that nature, one of my partners really heads it up and continues to move it forward.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I m more so on the board of it.
3
SPEAKER_01
But it s really awesome to get people to have a place to understand things.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because when I came back here from New York City,
3
SPEAKER_01
I didn t know what charity preview was.
3
SPEAKER_01
I didn t know what a barrister s ball was.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m like, a barrister s ball, what is that?
3
SPEAKER_01
I m in law school, I don t know what a barrister s ball is.
3
SPEAKER_01
This stuff is kind of interesting to me.
3
SPEAKER_01
But I felt like, why did people purposely hide these things from me?
3
SPEAKER_00
It almost seems like a big conspiracy to keep people out because it s a completely different world that you have to sort of find and immerse yourself in.
3
SPEAKER_00
Thanks for listening and supporting the show.
3
SPEAKER_00
For a list of all the amazing sponsors and discount codes, visit theartofcharm.com slash advertisers.
3
SPEAKER_00
Now, back to Sean Blanchard.
3
SPEAKER_00
In the book, you ve got a systematic approach to leveraging mentorship, and I d love to go over this.
3
SPEAKER_00
Mentorship is a hot topic among entrepreneurs.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s a hot topic among young people who want to get ahead.
3
SPEAKER_00
Now we re kind of seeing it from a different angle where it s a hot topic among people that don t even know they need it because they re stuck.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s right.
3
SPEAKER_01
I look at mentorship in three phases.
3
SPEAKER_01
The first phase is unconscious mentorship.
3
SPEAKER_01
When you re born into this world, you re mentored regardless by ideals, individuals, and society.
3
SPEAKER_01
Whether you re conscious of it or not,
3
SPEAKER_01
is the actual issue at hand.
3
SPEAKER_01
So initially, during the first portion of my life, it was unconscious mentorship.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m not conceiving the things that are influencing me, they re just influencing me.
3
SPEAKER_01
I m not in control of it.
3
SPEAKER_01
So that s the first phase, unconscious mentorship.
3
SPEAKER_01
The second phase is when you take control, conscious mentorship.
3
SPEAKER_01
Conscious mentorship is broken down into two categories, informal and formal.
3
SPEAKER_01
Influential mentorship are all those things that are not necessarily people, with the exception of your peer group that are not just your mentors, but friend tours.
3
SPEAKER_01
Then you have like, what do you listen to?
3
SPEAKER_01
Who are you following on Instagram?
3
SPEAKER_01
What books do you read?
3
SPEAKER_01
What movies are you watching?
3
SPEAKER_01
What music is going into your ears all the time?
3
SPEAKER_01
So you have all these things, and I have a number of them that are listed there, that it s all about the things that are influencing you on a daily basis.
3
SPEAKER_00
Whether you intend for them to do that or not.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s right.
3
SPEAKER_01
And when you move into a conscious realm, you can become in control of those influences.
3
SPEAKER_01
So you have the informal, then you have the formal.
3
SPEAKER_01
The formal side is broken down into three phases of mentorship.
3
SPEAKER_01
Because a lot of people say, oh yeah, I m a mentor, but what the heck does that mean?
3
SPEAKER_01
What is a relationship, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
So those three ways that I like to break it down are examples, directors, and sponsors.
3
SPEAKER_01
And you have to understand what those are in order to capture and extract the most out of the mentoring relationships that you have.
3
SPEAKER_01
An example of someone is you re just watching.
3
SPEAKER_01
They may not know much about you or even know you at all, but you re watching them, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
A director is someone that you can actually have lunch with somewhere.
3
SPEAKER_01
You probably have their number.
3
SPEAKER_01
They give you direction.
3
SPEAKER_01
They believe in your potential.
3
SPEAKER_01
Then you have your sponsors.
3
SPEAKER_01
The sponsors are people that you ll actually come to their homes.
3
SPEAKER_01
You ll have their numbers directly called them.
3
SPEAKER_01
And basically, they don t just believe in your potential, they believe in you.
3
SPEAKER_01
And the goal is to make sure that you can load up on informal mentorship and formal mentorship to propel your life forward with that healthy universe.
3
SPEAKER_00
Right, so control the things that are influencing you as well as seek people out who can help you move up either at some level just by example or by actually providing guidance or even support.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s right, that s right.
3
SPEAKER_01
And I like to say that that s the face that we ll always stay in once we get there.
3
SPEAKER_01
of conscious mentorship, but it s very important and imperative to move to this third phase.
3
SPEAKER_01
So you have unconscious mentorship, conscious mentorship, but the third phase of mentorship is creating consciousness in others.
3
SPEAKER_01
So you ll always continue being very conscious of making sure that you have this in your life, but it s important for you to do it for other people.
3
SPEAKER_01
So, and that s what the third phase is in the book, and it talks about the hierarchy and the ladder of how to do that.
3
SPEAKER_00
Right, so you would then have to turn around and sort of pay it back.
3
SPEAKER_00
Absolutely.
3
SPEAKER_00
Or pay it forward, I guess.
3
SPEAKER_01
There s a statistic that says that 90% of people that are mentored turn around and become mentored.
3
SPEAKER_01
In America today, we have over nine million young people that say that they re not being guided properly by those.
3
SPEAKER_01
It s a huge number of kids.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s huge and sad.
3
SPEAKER_00
It s easy enough to control your influences, right?
3
SPEAKER_00
Stop listening to things that are bad.
3
SPEAKER_00
Stop following people online that are bad examples.
3
SPEAKER_00
If somebody s setting a bad example and you get wind of that or you catch that, you can sort of say, look, I want to limit my influence from this person or this idea or this group.
3
SPEAKER_00
How do you, though, reach out to the sponsorship mentors and the directors?
3
SPEAKER_00
How do you reach out and say, because I ll get emails that are like, will you mentor me?
3
SPEAKER_00
And I m like, I don t know how to do that.
3
SPEAKER_00
so I m gonna say no, but I don t really wanna say no, but I don t know what that means.
3
SPEAKER_00
How do you get someone to invest in you like that?
3
SPEAKER_01
I like to make it very simple, and I call it play and catch.
3
SPEAKER_01
Now, mentorship can be driven a lot by the mentee, because a lot of mentors are busy as heck.
3
SPEAKER_01
So if you are really conscious and really want to move life forward, as a mentee, you should be taking advantage of playing catch.
3
SPEAKER_01
Playing catch is simply this.
3
SPEAKER_01
Consider yourself a dog, and basically you re about to play catch with your mentor.
3
SPEAKER_01
You go over to him, you drop the ball, which is basically a question.
3
SPEAKER_01
You know, the person s looking at you like, okay, this dog s here, you got a question, they ll throw the answer, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
Pick up the ball and throw it back, yeah.
3
SPEAKER_01
They ll throw the answer.
3
SPEAKER_01
Now it s your job as a mentee to go run, get it, bring it back, and say, hey, look what I got, I did exactly what you said.
3
SPEAKER_01
Take action on what they.
3
SPEAKER_01
That s right, and now I got another question for you, I wanna ask you this, and now at this point, that mentor s like, you know what, pick up the ball and says, hey guys, check this out, look at this.
3
SPEAKER_00
He s actually doing it.
3
SPEAKER_01
Let me introduce you to some more people that I know, because this is cool.
3
SPEAKER_01
Matter of fact, here, you can throw it, watch what happens.
3
SPEAKER_01
Throw the information out there, you go get it, you bring it back.
3
SPEAKER_01
You have to be a very good mentee, right?
3
SPEAKER_01
So if you ve got to put in the work, you ve got to put in the work.
3
SPEAKER_01
So if you want a good mentor, you got to be an even better mentee.
3
SPEAKER_01
You got to play catch.
3
SPEAKER_00
That s great, I love the concept of playing catch, because it s true, a lot of my friends who are successful entrepreneurs and things like that will get email, we almost joke about it in a sad way, where someone will say, oh my gosh, how do I set something up like this?
3
SPEAKER_00
And it s like, all right, step one, decide what niche you want to be in.
3
SPEAKER_00
All right, well, I want to do this.
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SPEAKER_00
All right, create some content based around that.
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Crickets, they don t get through the second hoop.
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Exactly.
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Or the first hoop.
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They don t bring it back.
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Nothing, they don t bring the ball back.
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That s right, and so you as the busy mentor, is it your job now to follow up with all of these people who are asking you to mentor them?
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Heavens no, man, you got enough stuff on your plate already, right?
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I think it s very important for us to accept the role of mentorship and then mentor someone, but it s very important for the mentees to do their part.
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Tell us what you re doing now.
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All right, so right now I m the, I created Sean Blanchard Productions.
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I actually published a book and I do a lot of my speaking and whatnot.
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all around the country, you have my tour coming up.
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I ve been speaking quite a bit over this last month since my book has been out, and so far I ve sold over 3,000 copies.
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Congratulations, that s actually a lot of books.
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People online, they don t understand.
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That s a lot of books.
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because some people are like, I sold 10,000 copies.
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It s like, well, 3,000 copies of a book that you have published essentially yourself is a huge number of books.
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Right, and I mean, the bulk orders that are coming in are great.
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The type of sponsorships that I have for my tour that are coming up are going really great.
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A couple weeks ago, in the last couple weeks, I ve been in
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Jet, The Source, Black Enterprise, all types of different magazines about what I m doing right now.
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And I m just really excited to push it forward as well.
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So that s one thing with Sean Blanchard Productions.
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I m also a style advisor for a custom suit company, which is called Snap Suits.
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And it s awesome because it s the home of the $250 custom suit with a 14-day turnaround.
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It s really awesome, man.
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So I m really excited about being involved with that as well.
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Do you ever miss the old days of either selling drugs or having easy money like that?
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Do you ever miss that at all, in any way?
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Not at all, because it s still easy money.
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The thing is, what I like to say a lot is, I ve never stopped doing what I was doing.
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I ve always been about economics.
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I have product, I ll sell it before it will hurt people, but today it helps people.
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So it s a matter of like now, you can buy a book, you can buy a suit, but I m just bettering your life with the products that I have.
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So I never stop, I m still a hustler.
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Is there anything that I haven t asked you that you want to make sure you deliver?
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You know what, I think it s important just to understand the concept of after I ve been through all these different things growing up, things have been very interesting.
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It s a matter of there s people that are there, but you re not paying attention to them.
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So it s like you re a young person and somebody s telling you to do this, but you don t do it or you don t really care what they re talking about.
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They re not there.
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They re absolutely invisible, right?
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We have to be very conscious of that.
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So as I moved forward and I really began to take a hold of mentorship, even going to Michigan and taking my younger brother there too as soon as he got out of juvenile, I brought him to Michigan with me.
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So now he s at Michigan with me and I have three jobs, raising a younger brother, majoring in math at Econ.
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It s a very interesting experience in college at that point.
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understanding that we re all brothers and sisters, and we all need to make sure that we give back and give a hand up, not a handout to the people around us.
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I think it s just imperative that mentorship is taken so serious.
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And we understand that it s not the little kid in the corner that needs it, but
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the youngest billionaire of our times, Mark Zuckerberg, right, was mentored by Steve Jobs.
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We have Bill Gates, who s mentored by Warren Buffett, and Warren Buffett, who s mentored by Bill Gates, their front doors.
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One s for investments, one s for philanthropy.
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That s right, I forgot about that.
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That s a good example.
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And I think that it s like, so mentorship is all around us, and we re never too young or too old for it.
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And no matter what we do, we re either gonna be influenced by things that s in our control or not.
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Sean, thank you so much, man.
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This has been excellent.
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Really interesting episode.
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I mean, this is a guy who has overcome a lot and dealt with a lot and had the worst possible role models and managed to step back out of that world.
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But as you can see by the phone calls he got from both his brothers in prison and the city councilwoman, he still has one foot back in that world, but has managed to succeed in spite of that.
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In fact, I would say from what we ve talked about here on the show, he s succeeded in part because of what he learned when he was in that world.
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So no excuses.
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If he can do it,
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Y all can do it too.
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It s not about where you came from, it s where you re going.
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And if you enjoyed this one, don t forget to thank Sean on Twitter.
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We ll have that linked in the show notes as well as the other resources mentioned on the show, of course, including his book, which you can check out as well.
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It s really raw and written by him, of course.
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So you can tap our album art and most mobile podcast players to see the cheat sheet for this episode, and we ll link to the show notes right on your phone.
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I m also on Twitter.
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A lot of stuff that never makes it to the show.
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Articles, insights, and other things like that.
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I m at The Art of Charm on Twitter.
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bootcamps and live program details for The Art of Charm, bootcamp.theartofcharm.com.
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SPEAKER_00
And remember, we sell out a few months in advance, so if you re thinking about it even a little bit, you should get in touch ASAP to get some info from us so you can plan ahead.
4
SPEAKER_00
I also want to encourage you to join our social capital challenge at theartofcharm.com slash challenge or text charmed to 33444.
4
SPEAKER_00
That s C-H-A-R-M-E-D to 33444.
4
SPEAKER_00
It s all about improving your networking and connection skills and inspiring those around you to develop a personal and professional relationship with you.
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We ll also email you our Fundamentals Toolbox that I mentioned earlier on the show.
4
SPEAKER_00
I also do regular videos with drills and exercises to help you move forward.
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It ll make you a better connector, it ll make you a better networker, and it ll make you a better thinker.
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That s theartofcharm.com slash challenge or text charmed in the US to 33444.
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This episode of The Art of Trauma is produced by Jason DeFilippo.
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Jason Sanderson is our audio engineer and editor.
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Show notes on the website are by Robert Fogerty.
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I m your host, Jordan Harbinger.
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Now go ahead and tell your friends, because the greatest compliment you can give us is a referral to someone else, either in person or shared on the web.
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SPEAKER_00
Now stay charming and leave everything and everyone better than you found them.
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SPEAKER_01
Thanks for listening to the Art of Charm.
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Get more confidence, relationship skills, life hacks, and more at theartofcharmpodcast.com.