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Welcome to the Art of Charm.
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I m your host, Jordan Harbinger.
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I m here with producer Jason DeFilippo.
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Here at AOC, we may not have all the answers, but of course, we have some of the questions, and today on Fan Mail Friday, those questions come from you.
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If you re new to the Art of Charm podcast, Fan Mail Friday, not the best place to start, in my opinion.
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Most of our content is interview-based, more in-depth, longer format, so check out the best of at theartofcharm.com slash best, or the Fundamentals Toolbox at theartofcharm.com slash toolbox.
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That s where we ve got the fundamentals of body language and nonverbal communication, attraction, negotiation, networking, influence, persuasion, and everything else we teach here at The Art of Charm.
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And we ll send all of this to your inbox if you text charmed, that s C-H-A-R-M-E-D, to 33444 here in the USA.
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Or if you re not, go to theartofcharm.com.
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All right, let s cut to it.
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First, Jordan, it s time for you to encourage people to vote.
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Why aren t you doing this?
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Tons of your peers are doing it.
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Tons of celebrities are doing it.
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You re a smart guy and you know how important this is.
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What s the hold up?
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Signed, Democracy in Denver.
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Well, I ve gotten this question a lot recently.
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I think Mike Rowe, the Dirty Jobs guy, said it best, so I m going to quote him on this.
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Thank you for the kind words.
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I appreciate it.
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I also share your concern for our country and agree wholeheartedly that every vote counts.
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However, I m afraid I can t encourage millions of people to vote whom I ve never met just to run out and cast a ballot simply because they have the right to vote.
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That would be like encouraging everyone to buy an AR-15 assault rifle simply because they have the right to bear arms.
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I would need to know a few things about them before offering that kind of encouragement.
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For instance, do they know how to care for a weapon?
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Can they afford the cost of the weapon?
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Do they have a history of violence?
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Are they mentally stable?
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In short, are they responsible citizens?
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And casting a ballot is not so different.
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It s an important right that we all share and one that impacts our society in dramatic fashion.
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But it s one thing to respect and acknowledge our collective rights and quite another thing to affirmatively encourage people I ve never met to exercise them.
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Every four years, celebrities and movie stars look earnestly into the camera and tell the country to get out and vote.
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And they tell us it s our most important civic duty.
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And they speak as if the very act of casting a ballot is more important than the outcome of the election.
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And this strikes me as somewhat hysterical.
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Does anyone actually believe that Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen DeGeneres, and Ed Norton would encourage the masses to vote if they believed the masses would elect Donald Trump?
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Regardless of their political agenda, they re fundamentally mistaken about our civic duty to vote.
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There s simply no such thing.
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Voting is a right.
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It is not a duty and not a moral obligation.
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Like all rights, the right to vote comes with some responsibilities, but let s face it, the bar is not set very high.
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If you believe aliens from another planet walk among us, you re welcome at the polls.
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If you believe the world is flat and the moon landing was completely staged, you are invited to cast a ballot.
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Astrologists, racists, ghost hunters, sexists, and people who rely on a magic 8-ball to determine their daily wardrobe, those people are all allowed to participate.
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In fact, and to your point, they re encouraged to do so.
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The undeniable reality is this.
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Our right to vote does not require any understanding of current events or any awareness of how our government works.
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So when a celebrity reminds the country that everybody s vote counts, they re absolutely correct.
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But when they tell us that everybody in the country should get out there and vote, regardless of what they think or believe, I gotta wonder what they re smoking.
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Look at our current candidates.
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No one appears to like either one of them.
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Their approval ratings are at record lows.
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It s not about who you like more, it s about who you hate less.
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Sure, we can blame the media, the system, and the candidates themselves, but let s be honest.
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Donald and Hillary are there because we put them there.
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The electorate has tolerated the intolerable.
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We ve treated this entire process like the final episode of American Idol.
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What did we expect?
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So no, I can t personally encourage everyone in the country to run out and vote.
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I wouldn t do it, even if I thought it would benefit my personal choice.
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Because the truth is, the country doesn t need voters who have to be cajoled, enticed, or persuaded to cast a ballot.
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We need voters who wish to participate in the process.
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So if you really want me to say something political, how about this?
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Read more.
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Spend a few hours every week studying American history, human nature, and economic theory.
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Start with economics in one lesson, then try Keynes, then Hayek, then Marx, then Hegel.
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Develop a worldview that you can articulate as well as defend.
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Test your theory with people who disagree with you.
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Debate, argue, adjust your philosophy as necessary.
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And then, when the next election comes around, cast a vote for the candidate whose worldview seems most in line with your own.
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or don t.
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None of the freedoms spelled out in our Constitution were put there so people could cast uninformed ballots out of some misplaced sense of civic duty brought on by a celebrity guilt trip.
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The right to assemble, to protest, to speak freely, these rights were included to help assure that the best ideas and the best candidates would emerge from the most transparent process possible.
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Remember, there s nothing virtuous or patriotic about voting just for the sake of voting.
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And the next time someone tells you otherwise, do me a favor.
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Ask them who they re voting for, then tell them you re voting for their opponent.
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Then, see if they ll give you a ride to the polls.
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In the meantime, dig into those books.
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Some of them sound like a snooze, but they can be page turners, and you can download a lot of them for free.
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And again, that s Mike Rowe, the Dirty Jobs guy, brilliantly articulated.
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And that s why, no, I will not encourage everybody to go vote, because I don t think everyone should.
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All right, Jason, what s next?
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Jonathan writes in, Dear Jordan and the Art of Charm team, listening to podcast 543 with Robert Cialdini on his new book, Presuasion, and there were several points that caught my attention.
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First, you mentioned reading his original work, Influence, when you were 13, and that you have used those skills throughout your youth and adult life.
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My question, beyond using those skills, did those lessons also help you spot and block attempts to influence you?
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I m talking about cults, gangs, Ponzi schemes, stuff like that.
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I mean, I think they have.
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I ve never really thought about it before, but I think you re right.
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You ve clearly thought about this, so I m glad that I saw it.
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Also, Jordan, in past episodes you talked about being kidnapped twice.
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Did those skills help you?
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Unless a person has been in training for survival and abduction, few people know how to balance ingratiating yourself with your captors without becoming dependent, i.e.
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Stockholm Syndrome, indoctrinated, like Patty Hearst, or on the other extreme, become belligerent or undersell yourself and get killed.
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While my kidnappings were very short in duration, I m curious about how I would be able to react over a longer period of time, and I hope I never find out.
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I suspect that by knowing and practicing some aspects of influence, you also created mental filters that spotted those techniques in others.
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In a way, your mind was inoculated from people who abuse influence.
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As you state in the podcast, people do use the quote-unquote dark side of influence to manipulate people to harm themselves or others, like Heaven s Gate, Marshall Applewhite, People s Temple, Jim Jones, ISIS, al-Baghdadi, etc.
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The answer is yes.
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I often see and think about influence in practice, and I label it when I see it.
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I also talk about it a lot with Jenny, which is interesting and builds awareness.
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You talk about how it takes a lot of work and skill to wrongfully influence and manipulate.
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As you say, there is no advantage to misusing something like this.
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What I find is that it only takes one person to use the darker aspects of influence and possibly one confederate.
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Beyond the originator, the converts and indoctrinated believe they re fighting for a better world, that everyone else is corrupt or misguided, and it s their duty to join and fix the evil.
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Sound familiar?
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It s similar to what ISIS and cults use for recruiting and to rally indoctrinated to provide support or kill people.
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Also, criminal organizations and gangs use notions of an extended family and power for the same result.
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You re right.
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What I meant was mostly that one should put the work into using the force for good, as it s better and more powerful than doing so for evil.
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That said, some people are as evil as you ve stated.
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This is why I believe people do terrible acts on behalf of terror and cult organizations.
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Your comment to counter-influence manipulation, why would you learn to drive just enough to run people over, actually highlights a valuable point, and I bet your team got lots of feedback on that comment.
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Well, people do.
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They learn just enough to drive a truck into a market and blow it up.
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And as you know, people also learn to fly just enough to crash a plane into a building.
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These things happen.
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This is why I called your early learning an inoculation, because I believe it gave you early lessons for spotting and blocking manipulation.
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If it worked for you, it may be possible to replicate in others around that same age.
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I think learning influence and the charm skill would help youth better understand the importance of those skills, especially when entering higher education and a career.
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This is probably true.
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Also, hat tip to your strong critical thinking skills.
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For me, it s just as important that youth learn to spot and block manipulation from their lives, or even better, report through the community or security forces to stop people attempting to cause harm or spread a viral cult or violent extremist ideal through a community.
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I agree.
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I never thought to apply this to politics or global affairs, but it is fitting.
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Thanks so much for the interesting email, my man.
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Hey Jordan, Big Fan here.
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I ve been listening to your show for almost a year now and have really taken much of the advice that you, Jason, and all the people you have had on your show at one time or another, and have used the advice in my daily
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life with some great results.
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Thank you for all the hard work and effort.
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Keep up the great work! 
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A majority of the time I find myself being the one contacting others, whether as friends or family.
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I seem to be always making the effort to reach out to others, check up on them, and overall just show that they are still on my mind and that I care about them.
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However, after I moved down to Austin from Dallas, I went through some rough times, and it seemed like no one reached out to me to at least talk or even check up.
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I started an experiment where I just decided to quit contacting people where it felt to me that I was always the one making the first move to get in contact with them and see if they would reach out to me first.
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So far, my own father hasn t even contacted me via phone since May, and no one except for my 91-year-old grandmother from Dallas has even called to see how I was.
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I feel very frustrated, alone, and actually sad because it truly feels like a lot of people don t even care about my existence as much as I care about theirs, especially people I admired.
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While I know these feelings are not exactly true, the actions of people who are supposedly my friends or even my own blood relatives shows me that they really could care less.
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But I ve made some great friends down here in Austin who have helped me tremendously and I owe them so much and for that I m grateful.
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I don t exactly like writing people off or being selfish, but I feel that I shouldn t be the only one always having to reach out and check in on others.
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I mean, hey, I m a person who likes to be checked up on too.
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I am valuable, and it s nice to know that people acknowledge my existence.
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I truly do care about all my family members and all the friends I left in Dallas and in Chicago, but I just don t see the reciprocation there and it bums me out.
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What can I do?
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What should I do?
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Is it okay to feel ticked off that people who are my own family don t even check up on me?
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Am I being too sensitive?
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I could use some advice.
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Sincerely, Confused in Austin.
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Hey, Confused.
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Look, this situation does suck, and I will agree.
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I think they re partly selfish, but I think partly this is how you ve trained them, unintentionally, of course, to behave.
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And I think you should make new friends with a better balance and start with a clean slate.
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And this will do a few things.
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Well, one, it ll give you new friends with a better balance and a clean slate, but also those existing relationships, these older familial relationships and friendly relationships,
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You ll be less needy in them if that is indeed what s happening and you ll be less accessible because you will have other things going on in your life.
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And when you improve your situation and when you improve your circle and when you start to be a little bit less attached to the old circle, you ll find that that dynamic can often change things.
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inside that old circle.
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I also recommend the AOC Toolbox episode 400, which is Making Friends in a New Town.
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We also have the rest of the AOC Toolbox, which will help you get started honing and working on these skills.
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That, for everyone, is at theartofcharm.com slash toolbox.
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Good luck down there in Austin.
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For a list of all the amazing sponsors and discount codes, visit theartofcharm.com slash advertisers.
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Now, back to Fan Mail Friday.
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Good morning, Jordan.
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I was listening to Fan Mail Friday 85 this morning at the gym and heard Passion or Paycheck write in about quitting the military, and I d like to weigh in on this.
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Bottom line up front, do both.
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Stay in the military until you ve perfected your craft and let your craft determine when you leave.
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I have two stories that I can reference, but I ll tell you the story of David.
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He was a soldier who worked for me, the consummate professional in everything he did.
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He got assigned as an extra duty to be our unit s public affairs officer.
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He took that job seriously and put his heart and soul into it, developed a passion for taking pictures, and developed the craft over the past eight years.
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Yesterday, I saw one of David s posts on Facebook.
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He got his retirement orders.
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Just days before, David held an impromptu photo shoot in his town, and a lot of people showed up to model, do hair, makeup, wardrobe, and more.
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David learned valuable skills through his time in the military that helped him be more skilled at being a photographer.
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I believe he gained organizing skills that helped him to gather people together, organize their efforts, and get the best results possible.
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Hang in there and keep moving the ball forward.
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You can always pull the plug on the military if you want, but you can t always go back to the military when that opportunity passes.
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Thanks for letting me give some feedback.
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Chris Buckley, AOC Program Graduate.
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Thanks, Chris.
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That s awesome that you weighed in on that.
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Much appreciated.
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Always appreciate hearing from AOC program graduates, helping out with other situations like this, and anybody who has experience with these same situations.
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So thanks for your email, and thanks for supporting another member of the AOC family.
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All right, moving right along.
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Hello, Jordan and the Art of Charm team.
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First, thank you for all the great content you guys put out there.
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You re doing a valuable service, and I m confident thousands of people have improved their lives and relationships with others because of what you do.
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I know I m one of those people.
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I look forward to hearing Jordan s voice and feel like you guys are friends, even though we don t even know each other.
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I m also impressed that you take the time to read all of your fan mail and respond.
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That must take a lot of time, and it s appreciated.
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I m a 30-year-old lesbian, and I met a girl I m really into about two months ago.
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We hung out in a few group settings and then went on a few dates.
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By the third one, we were hooking up.
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Everything seemed to be progressing, and I went to her house for dinner last Friday.
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She made several mentions of future plans that night, like meeting a roommate, whether or not she d mention me to her mom on an upcoming trip back home, meeting my friends, doing something on my birthday together, etc.
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We moved things into the bedroom, and as we agreed, I d give her a massage in exchange for dinner.
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I gave her the massage, and after, she rolled over to her side and said she had to tell me something.
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She said she didn t see things going anywhere long term, and kind of made me feel like she was ending things.
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I asked what made her feel this way, and she said her intuition was telling her it just isn t going to work out.
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She added she wants someone who is close with their family, and I m not.
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I don t have a terrible relationship with them, we just aren t particularly close.
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I ve made lifelong friends that are so close they ve become my family.
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They have kids, we celebrate the holidays together, etc.
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I don t personally feel my life is lacking in a family-like dynamic.
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I m sure she s seeing or feeling something more, but she didn t elaborate.
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She asked me to stay, and we slept together that night.
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I had plans in the morning and she kept pulling me back into the bed and wanting me to stay longer.
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As I left, she said she d leave it in my court if I wanted to reach out to her again.
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Normally I m the type that would just be stoked we had sex and move on, or keep it casual if that s an option, but I genuinely like her.
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I didn t text her until today, we d been talking almost every day before that, and intentionally kept things kind of distant.
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I mentioned missing your cat, not her, some light catching up, and a question about Reiki because she s a knowledgeable source.
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I then cut off the conversation because I didn t want to come off too strong.
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My question is, can I get this girl to come around?
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Obviously, you can t go in her head and see what caused things to shift so seemingly abrupt, but what the hell happened?
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I m tempted to play a super slow game and see if I can t coax her, but I m also contemplating bluntly asking her what changed.
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I know you re a big fan of the move on, there are plenty of fish in the sea mentality, but I m hoping you see a different approach to take.
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She s a catch, and the pool of talented, sexy, intelligent lesbians is a bit smaller than the sea of straight girls.
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Your insight is greatly appreciated.
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Best baffled in the bedroom.
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This letter for me was interesting because I get this stuff from men literally every single day and maybe not dating related, but often often enough it is.
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And I want to just be very clear here that the same rules, for the most part, apply on both sides.
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In the above message, it sounds like you re really too available.
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You re too eager and you have a scarcity mindset.
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This person is special.
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I m not going to find anyone
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Also, there s a little bit of what I see as her defense mechanism, and again, this is all according to you, so it s hard to be super accurate here, but it could be her defense mechanism, and she s simply screening for casual sex.
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So she s telling you things like, well, you know, I m just looking for this and this is what I m looking for.
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and this is why I don t think we have a real relationship, or why I m not ready for one, she might be screening for that, so you have to be aware of that.
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She might come around, but probably will not.
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And when people tell you who they are, when they tell you what they re screening for, what they re looking for, and what they re about like this, believe them.
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Whenever people tell you who they are, believe them.
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Otherwise, you re setting yourself up for a fall.
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All right, next question.
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SPEAKER_01
Hi there!
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SPEAKER_01
I ve been a fan of the art of charm for some time now and really feel at home with the no-nonsense approach to the many aspects of life.
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SPEAKER_01
I ve come to this crossroads where I feel that I m being pulled in two different directions, the growing tech-savvy world we live in, and my own personal need to stop caring.
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SPEAKER_01
I ve always been pretty well connected to the internet.
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SPEAKER_01
I was among the first of my friends to have a Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, etc., regardless of whether or not they were popular features at the time.
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SPEAKER_01
Now, I m a 22-year-old female, I ve just recently graduated college, and I m now feeling this overwhelming sense of triviality when it comes to some of these apps.
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SPEAKER_01
I want to make it clear that I am not an avid poster on any of these sites.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t post status updates, and only upload pictures when I do something I think is cool, like traveling, seeing old friends, events, etc.
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SPEAKER_01
I use Twitter and Facebook primarily for a concentrated news and entertainment feed.
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SPEAKER_01
I m on the cusp of a complete social media purge, specifically related to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat.
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SPEAKER_01
I m wondering if eliminating my online social presence, not professional, LinkedIn will remain, will somehow put me at a disadvantage in the future.
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SPEAKER_01
I know that for my own sake I need to get off these things, because I find myself caring too much about how I present myself online.
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SPEAKER_01
It is dumb and completely unneeded pressure in my life.
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SPEAKER_01
I ve gone to the extent of stopping push notifications, limiting my usage and other methods, without deleting my account, but it never works.
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SPEAKER_01
I m the type of person that if I delete everything, meaning zero followers or friends, I will never go back.
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SPEAKER_01
I am no-nonsense, black and white, and have been known to be harsh a time or two, or three.
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SPEAKER_01
Anyway, I hope this makes sense.
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SPEAKER_01
I just want to maximize my personal well-being by cutting out the BS and just continue to be the best version of myself that I can be.
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SPEAKER_01
In the same vein, I don t want to shoot myself in the foot and end up limiting my future opportunities by not having an online social presence.
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SPEAKER_01
Any perspective you could offer would be much appreciated.
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SPEAKER_01
Thanks.
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SPEAKER_01
not agreeing to the terms and conditions.
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SPEAKER_00
make sure it looks really good, make sure it s up to date, make sure you got a good headshot, make sure your little resume section slash endorsements, whatever, are all right and all up to date and in place, and then just ignore it.
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SPEAKER_00
You can check in on it once a month if you re looking for any kind of messages in there to make sure that that stuff is coming in, or just make sure you get notifications for incoming messages so that if you re getting a job offer or a networking request that you actually care about,
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SPEAKER_00
it ll come to your inbox, but otherwise, just make sure it looks good and ignore it.
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SPEAKER_00
I would also keep Facebook.
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SPEAKER_00
You should do the limited profile for people that don t know you.
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SPEAKER_00
You should definitely do something where a bunch of people can t message you, turn off all the notifications that go to your inbox, make sure you don t have the apps on your phone, and then check it only weekly.
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SPEAKER_00
I would religiously edit out and unfriend people who you don t care about, and the way that I would do this is I would go into the events every month, maybe on the first of the month, look at whose birthday it is,
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SPEAKER_00
and if it s a person s birthday that you don t know that well or don t care about or don t want to keep in touch with, right click, open it in a new tab and go through the entire month of birthdays like that and then unfriend all of those people who you don t care about.
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SPEAKER_00
You can do a monthly purge that way and you ll never see them again in your newsfeed.
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SPEAKER_00
For me, there s zero marginal value from other apps other than Facebook and LinkedIn.
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SPEAKER_00
It won t damage you professionally unless you re in the tech space.
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SPEAKER_00
For me, for the business, of course I m on Twitter at The Art of Charm.
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SPEAKER_00
I use Facebook to keep in touch with folks who listen to the show.
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SPEAKER_00
Very rarely LinkedIn because there s nothing there for me really.
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SPEAKER_00
It won t damage you professionally, like I said, unless you re in the tech space, to just not be on this stuff.
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SPEAKER_00
You should keep a little bit of awareness as to how these services work.
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SPEAKER_00
Facebook tends to be on the cutting edge of this, but yeah, get rid of it all, especially if it s dinging your phone or hitting your inbox, get rid of it, mute it, or delete it.
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SPEAKER_00
And you ll be surprised how many other things you can focus on that actually have value for you.
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SPEAKER_00
Alright, next question.
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SPEAKER_01
Hi, Jordan.
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SPEAKER_01
The Art of Charm is the only podcast I find myself consistently listening to.
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SPEAKER_01
The content is so relevant and applicable to everyone s lives.
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SPEAKER_01
I love listening to it.
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SPEAKER_01
I really enjoy your fan mail Fridays, and it s brought me here writing this email.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t know where else to go.
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SPEAKER_01
I could really use your advice and hope so badly that you will help me.
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SPEAKER_01
I was 22 years old when I thought I met The One.
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SPEAKER_01
He was 25 at the time.
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SPEAKER_01
We both had public Instagram profiles, and long story short, we started chatting.
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SPEAKER_01
For the both of us, based on what we saw and how we chatted, we felt like we could have a real connection.
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SPEAKER_01
Fast forward to us meeting and hitting it off just like we had expected.
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SPEAKER_01
I fell for him instantly, and fell in a deep love for him.
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SPEAKER_01
I ve never been able to confidently say I wanted to spend the rest of my life with someone, but with him, I had.
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SPEAKER_01
We talked about our future together and I met everyone important in his life.
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SPEAKER_01
We lived a five and a half hour drive apart which made things hard.
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SPEAKER_01
We missed each other all the time and would see each other every one or two months because he didn t make me feel confident enough to move to him because he had long-term commitment issues.
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SPEAKER_01
This went on for a year and a half until he decided he couldn t do the long-distance thing anymore.
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SPEAKER_01
He mentioned that he isn t ready for a serious committed relationship and that the timing didn t feel right.
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SPEAKER_01
He felt too young to be locked down and I hate that reason because I ve never had the desire to casually date.
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SPEAKER_01
I ve always wanted to find one love and have a partner to spend my life with.
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SPEAKER_01
He said we needed to stop being together now, but that there is still potential for us in the future.
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SPEAKER_01
I was, am, crushed, heartbroken, and torn.
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SPEAKER_01
We broke up.
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SPEAKER_01
I m now 24 years old, a newly promoted management consultant for the biggest professional services firm in the world.
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SPEAKER_01
My career has taken off since university.
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SPEAKER_01
But it s been six months since the breakup and my heart still hurts when I think about him and what we had.
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SPEAKER_01
Our relationship was deep, and we seemed to be really compatible and in love.
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SPEAKER_01
To this day, he still tries to contact me, and tell me he misses me, and still loves me, and that he still believes we could have a future together.
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SPEAKER_01
I ve told him I don t want to communicate with him, so I can heal, but he keeps trying to stay in touch with me.
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SPEAKER_01
He even started seeing a girl two months after we broke up, claiming it meant nothing, but he was obviously sleeping with her.
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SPEAKER_01
Even though he said he wasn t interested in a relationship.
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SPEAKER_01
That hurt.
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SPEAKER_01
This brings me to my first question.
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SPEAKER_01
Do we still have a potential future together?
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SPEAKER_01
I mean I m completely heartbroken and hurt because he left me and our really great relationship, and on top of that he started seeing another girl.
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SPEAKER_01
But I know he cares about me and loves me, and although sleeping with a girl so quickly after, I know he never cheated on me.
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SPEAKER_01
He only claims the timing of our relationship was wrong.
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SPEAKER_01
Did or does he have bad intentions?
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SPEAKER_01
Should I even forgive him for what he s put me through?
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SPEAKER_01
Or is his reasoning acceptable?
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SPEAKER_01
My heart feels completely broken in that I have a wall around it.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t want to let anyone else in, but I clearly fall too easily for guys and have been hanging out with someone who is making me feel special and he s committed to me.
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SPEAKER_01
I m still not ready to give 100% into this relationship because I m still trying to heal from the past.
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SPEAKER_01
But this new guy seems to be okay with me putting in whatever effort I can, even if I m not 100%.
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SPEAKER_01
This brings me to my second question.
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SPEAKER_01
I don t know what to do.
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SPEAKER_01
Break this whole thing off because my heart won t let me fall in love again?
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SPEAKER_01
I feel like I m not being the girlfriend I know I can be.
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SPEAKER_01
But what if I m driving away good guys by being so cold because of my past?
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SPEAKER_01
Or do I continue this relationship and hopefully start healing while I m with him?
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SPEAKER_01
Will I ever heal and be able to fully love again?
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SPEAKER_01
Even if you can t air your advice, I would cherish a response from you.
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SPEAKER_01
Sincerely, Heartbroken Sally.
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SPEAKER_00
Hey, Heartbroken Sally.
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SPEAKER_00
Really sorry to hear about this.
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SPEAKER_00
Breakups do definitely suck.
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SPEAKER_00
And I don t mean to seem trite or short with my reply here, but basically, yes, you will heal and no, you should not keep talking to this guy.
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SPEAKER_00
He s already shown you who he is.
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SPEAKER_00
And yes, you can pursue new relationships even though you might be hurt again, and in fact you should.
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SPEAKER_00
That s just a part of life.
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SPEAKER_00
Trying to protect yourself from being hurt in relationships will actually make you miserable because you won t allow yourself to get close to anyone else.
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SPEAKER_00
And humans are social creatures.
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SPEAKER_00
Denying yourself that because you might get hurt is just, it s a terrible thing to do to yourself.
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SPEAKER_00
Please, please do not do that.
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SPEAKER_00
You will regret it.
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SPEAKER_00
I hope you all enjoyed this week s Fan Mail Friday, and don t forget, you can email us at Friday at TheArtofCharm.com to get your questions answered on the air.
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SPEAKER_00
A link to show notes for this episode can be found at TheArtofCharm.com slash FMF86.
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SPEAKER_00
Also, don t forget about the Art of Charm Challenge.
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SPEAKER_00
You can text CHARMED, that s C-H-A-R-M-E-D, to 33444 here in the States, or go to TheArtofCharm.com.
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SPEAKER_00
We ll take you step-by-step, becoming better at making personal and professional connections, becoming a better networker, increasing your personal social capital and your charisma, and, of course, it s for both guys and gals, so check that out.
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SPEAKER_00
There s also a super active Facebook group for that, which is just crazy, just surpassed 4,000 members, and AOC coaches are on there every day.
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SPEAKER_00
Text CHARMED, that s C-H-A-R-M-E-D, to 33444 in the USA, or wherever else you are, go to theartofcharm.com.
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SPEAKER_02
By the way, I m doing a lot of speaking these days as well, so if you re interested in having me come speak to your organization, especially corporations and schools and things like that, just reach out to me here at jordanattheartofcharm.com.
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SPEAKER_02
Quick shout out to Jacob Brady Walker from Australia who sent me a really cute YouTube video of his daughter singing the AOC theme song that apparently she made up on the spot, so we might have a new intro jingle.
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SPEAKER_02
In fact, have a listen here for yourself, it is short.
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SPEAKER_00
♫ The art of charm
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SPEAKER_02
Also a shout out to grumpy old geeks, that s producer Jason s show.
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SPEAKER_02
That s grumpyoldgeeks.com or you can search for it in iTunes or your favorite podcast player.
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SPEAKER_02
Jason, give us a one-liner about what the show s about.
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SPEAKER_02
Two grizzled and seasoned old internet vets talk about what went wrong on the internet and who s to blame.
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SPEAKER_02
Alright, and of course the answer is usually a lot and everyone else, right?
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SPEAKER_02
So, are you in a strange land listening to my familiar voice?
3
SPEAKER_02
If so, hit me up and I ll shout you out here.
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SPEAKER_02
More from AOC at theartofcharm.com, including info on our live residential boot camps that we run every single week here in LA.
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SPEAKER_02
If you really want to dig into this stuff and work on your AOC skills with us as your coaches, that s bootcamp.theartofcharm.com.
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SPEAKER_02
Now stay charming, get out there and connect, and leave everyone better than you found them.
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SPEAKER_01
Thanks for listening to the Art of Charm.
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SPEAKER_01
Get more confidence, relationship skills, life hacks, and more at theartofcharmpodcast.com.