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Welcome to Minisoad Monday.
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Happy to be here with you, kicking off the week with something quick and actionable that you can implement right away that ll make you more magnetic and effective.
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First though, I wanted to address the worrying never helps Minisoad that I did a few weeks back.
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This is an interesting one because a lot of people wrote in and said, actually, you know, worrying does help when it s done in a certain way to think about the worst case scenario and there s a lot of stoicism references in there for
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When you re worried about something, think about the worst-case scenario so that you no longer have to worry about that.
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And I agree with that, actually.
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I m not saying never worry.
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I m saying that by the time you need techniques to stop worrying, the worrying has already exhausted its utility.
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I totally agree with that when something is coming up or you re planning for something, you should work through the worst case scenarios, figure out how those feelings are going to affect you, how you can bounce back.
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I guess I don t consider that worrying.
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I consider that a logical process, but you re right.
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It s basically just effective worrying.
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So I take it back when I say worrying never helps.
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Worrying helps when you use it as a tool to create a plan, to create an awareness of a potential outcome so that it doesn t affect you to the point where it destroys you or your business.
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However, after that, there s no more utility to rolling something around in your head or letting it cause anxiety.
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And I think that s the primary distinction that I wanted to make here.
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It s definitely not that there s nothing to be said or nothing to be gained by thinking through problems.
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If that s what worrying is to you, then okay, worrying is useful in those contexts.
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But I guess, in my own definition, we need to get down to basics and say that worrying is, for me, the excess fantasizing or catastrophizing of events that have not happened yet, or the consequences of events that have not happened just yet.
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So, I want to make that super clear.
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I definitely, if we re looking at worrying as thinking about consequences of actions, then yes, I m guilty, big time, but I find utility in that.
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Anyway, on to this week s Minnesota Monday.
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I used to be kind of a grumpy cat, and sometimes I still am.
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And one way that I snapped out of my default mode of negativity a few years back is something called the three positive things drill.
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And look, you guys know me, I m not a huge fan of positive thinking at all times.
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But basically, any time anything happens and my initial reaction is really negative,
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I forced myself to think of three reasons why it s actually positive instead.
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For example, I was at the airport the other day about to get on a flight and I went to wash my hands and a ton of water splashed all over the front of my pants and this was really infuriating.
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I was tired.
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I was in a huge hurry, I was stressed, I was further annoyed, now I m going on a 14-hour flight looking like I wet myself.
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So I forced myself to think of three positive things that would come out of this situation.
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And this is always a little bit of a stretch, but this was kind of fun, right?
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One, I realized I had pants that were kind of waterproof, nice.
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Two, I had a funny story for everyone who cared to hear it.
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And three, I didn t get any on my new shoes, so it wasn t really a big deal at all.
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Now, this drill seems ridiculous, and sometimes it really is.
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What it does and how it works is that it actually forces you to reach pretty far for positives sometimes.
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Forcing your brain, though, to be more logical, it distracts your emotional brain from getting upset or getting more upset.
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And it also builds up the habit of becoming a more positive person by actually forcing you to look on the bright side, no matter how dim things might seem.
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Now remember, this is an AOC concept, you re not going to hear this only once, I probably beat this to death, but if you haven t heard it,
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Events themselves are neutral.
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It s our emotions, our response to that event that s either positive or negative.
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And so with practice, with practice interpreting events in a different light, a positive light, it becomes something that you actually can control.
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You can t control the event, but you can always control your reaction to it.
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Which will make certain events, especially the most negative ones, in air quotes, much, much easier to deal with.
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If you want more cool drills, exercises, and mindsets to help you expand your skillset, keep your cool under pressure, and help you enhance your personal and professional life, check out our challenge at theartofcharm.com slash challenge.
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We ll give you something new, practical, and actionable each week so you can keep on growing.
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So if you want more cool drills, exercises, and mindsets to help you expand your skillset, keep your cool under pressure, and help you enhance your personal and professional life, check out our challenge at theartofcharm.com slash
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We ll give you something new, practical, and actionable each week so you can keep on growing.
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So text CHARMED to 33444 here in the USA or go to theartofcharm.com slash challenge and get going.