Captain Crunch Beating Deez Nuts in New Poll
Step aside, Deez Nuts there's a new joke candidate who has won over America. His name is Captain Crunch. According to a new poll by the Democratic-leaning Public Policy Polling, Captain Crunch has surged ahead of Deez Nuts in the silly category with 17. Apparently America is ready to be crunchatized, Cap'n. Deez Nuts came in second with 9, followed closely by Beast Mode at 5. Limberbutt McCubbins, the cat from Kentucky who Deez Nuts told TIME he would pick as his running mate, only got 1. Despite the lower poll numbers, Deez Nuts says he won't begin attacking Captain Crunch. "I will not be running negative campaigns against other candidates," he said in an email to TIME. "Plus, in the poll over half the people were undecided, and I was able to maintain my popularity with young people, where I beat him by 10. That will be my focus group for the general election as well so it's not all bad.", Deez Nuts went viral when he began polling at 9 in North Carolina as a third party candidate, according to a different PPP poll. He is actually a 15-year-old high school boy in Iowa named Brady Olson. It hasn't immediately been revealed who Captain Crunch is.