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Cooperative Research Units
Education, Research And Technical Assistance For Managing Our Natural Resources
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Daniel Weaver

Daniel Weaver

  • MS North Carolina State University 2010
  • BS Virginia Tech 2007

I joined the Maine Coop Unit and WFCB dept. in the summer of 2013. I'm originally from Virginia but spent the last six years in North Carolina. I'm interested in fish and freshwater mussels, stream communities, and biotic interactions in riverine systems integrating basic and applied ecology. In my free time I enjoy running, hiking, and kayaking.

Research Interests

I am researching the ecological role of sea lamprey as a functional link between fresh water and marine ecosystems. The delivery and timing of marine-derived nutrients and energy (MDNE), from post-spawning carcasses, may be a critical process in stream food webs. We also wish to characterize the role of larvae or "ammocoetes" and their capacity to retain MDNE within streams. From our empirical results, we can develop models that predict minimum spawning sizes necessary to yield ecologically significant nutrient enriching effects, identify pathways by which MDNE are incorporated into stream biota, and quantify ammocoete feeding and metabolism. These studies may assist state and federal agencies and conservation groups in fisheries management decisions and determine whether actions should promote sea lamprey restoration as an integral component of dam removal and rehabilitation of other anadromous fishes.

Research Publications

  • Weaver, D.M., T.J. Kwak, and K.H. Pollock. 2014. Sampling characteristics and calibration of snorkel counts to estimate stream fish populations. North American Journal of Fisheries Management 34:1159-1166.
  • Weaver, D.M. and T.J. Kwak. 2013. Assessing effects of stocked trout on nongame fish assemblages in southern Appalachian Mountain streams. Transactions of the American Fisheries Society 142: 1495-1507.

Technical Publications

  • Wallace, B.C., D.M. Weaver, and T.J. Kwak. 2011. Efficiency of baited hoop nets for sampling catfish in southeastern U.S. small impoundments. Pages 581-588 in P.H. Michaletz and V.H. Travnichek, editors. Conservation, ecology, and management of catfish: the second international symposium. American Fisheries Society Symposium 77, Bethesda, Maryland.

Current Staff

Federal Staff: 3

Masters Students: 7

Phd Students: 8

Post Docs: 0

University Staff: 7

5 Year Summary

Students graduated: 26

Scientific Publications: 58

Presentations: 200

Contact Information

Tel: (207) 581 - 1340

Maine Cooperative Fish and Wildlife Research Unit Cooperators

  1. Maine Department of Inland Fisheries and Wildlife
  2. U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service
  3. U.S. Geological Survey
  4. University of Maine
  5. Wildlife Management Institute


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64bit intel exentions to ia32

Eric W. Biederman ebiederman at lnxi.com
Tue Feb 17 17:29:01 CET 2004

Li-Ta Lo <ollie at lanl.gov> writes:

> On Tue, 2004-02-17 at 15:22, Eric W. Biederman wrote:
> > see:
> > http://developer.intel.com/technology/64bitextensions/
> >
> I don't want to read the book. Is it the same as AMD's ?

I haven't found any differences yet.

It's still a Xeon and not an Opteron, but I don't see that the OS
would really care.

More information about the coreboot mailing list

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Gettin’ Krafty with Kate & Clare!

Today we have a super “krafty” layout from designer Kate Nolan-Denham.

I am having a great love of all things Kraft lately and I find myself reaching for the Tim Holtz Kraft-Core all the time . The sweet layout of my grandson I am sharing today is chock-full of this line!

I sanded the background cardstock, Kraft-Core Nostalgic Collection No.10, using my Sand it Gadget to give it a bit of an aged look.  To create the rulered mat, I embossed a piece of Kraft-Core Nostalgic Collection No.6, with Darice 12″ ruler embossing folders. After fussy cutting out each ruler, I inked them with Distress Ink and added them to a 9″x 8″ mat of Kraft-Core Nostalgic Collection No. 23.

The title work is die cut from Kraft-Core Nostalgic Collection No.21 and distressed a bit with the Sandit Gadget.  Of course, I always use the Dust Buddy everytime I sand.  The photo mat and die punched hearts are made from scraps of Core’dinations papers I had in my stash.  Got to love stash!

Core’dinations Supplies:

Tim Holtz Kraft-Core Nostalgic Collection

Tim Holtz & Ranger Distress Collection

Sandit Gadget

Dust Buddy

Other Supplies:

Darice Ruler Embossing Folder

Tim Holtz Distress Ink

Pebbles Paper

EK Success Punches

Dienamic Dies

Want2Scrap Bling

Helmar ZapDots & Premium Craft Glue

And ..the GREAT thing about Kraft Core is you can use a little or a lot!  Check out Clare Buswell’s card here using all kinds of Core’dinations Cardstock including a paper ruffle flower from Kraft Core.  You can mix & match Core beautifully, don’t you think? Add some of the Tim Holtz Ranger Distress collection, too!

Check out more of Clare’s paper ruffles HERE. Gorgeous!

 And just love love how she stamped on the Whitewash Cardstock.

Spring Inspiration In here with Tim Holtz Seasonal Impressions

March 21, 2013 by
Filed under Core Blog, Tim Holtz

Don’t forget about our Design Team call going on now. You don not want to miss out on being a part of this awesome team! And you could find yourself wearing this badge.

You know what is perfect for Spring?

TIM HOLTZ SEASONAL IMPRESSIONS! Sorry for the excitment but you know how I get excited about my Core :)

Designer Debbie Standard created this layout using the Spring themed cardstock. .Just sand it and this gorgeous embossed design  with “seasonal’ phrases and designs.

AND gets better…the colors of the Seasonal Impressions match all of the Tim Holtz Kraft Core cardstock, too! So, for this layout, the No. 15 will match perfectly. Debbie new instantly that the No. 2, No. 6 & No. 22 would look perfect with it.

And who doesn’t love a picture of their grandaughter kissing the Easter Bunny?

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Tournament Info
NameTurkey F2 Futures
LocationAntalya - Turkey
Date2007-04-09 / 2007-04-15
OrganisationTennis Europe (TE)
Tier LevelFutures
 Draw5 rounds / 32 players
 Prize MoneyUSD 10,000
 Sets3 sets

Tournament History

Mar 08 Masc. Futures F, T. Fabbiano d. P. Cervenak 63 64
Mar 08 Masc. Futures [Q]
Mar 23 Masc. Futures F, I. Sergeyev d. V. Rudnev 63 61
Mar 23 Masc. Futures [Q]
Mar 24 Masc. Futures F, J. Masson d. G. Moraru 60 76(2)
Mar 24 Masc. Futures [Q]
Apr 09 Masc. Futures F, J. Minar d. P. Rusevski 63 62
Apr 09 Masc. Futures [Q]
iPhone App
The most extensive coverage of tennis results (ATP, WTA, ITF and juniors) is now available on the go with our our free Tennis For The Win application for the iPhone.
Download now from the AppStore and pass the word!
If you are a player featured in CoreTennis, you can get in touch with us to have more information and your pictures published on your profile
Ranking Graphs
We have points graphs and position graphs for ATP, WTA and ITF players. Check out this unique perspective on the game now
Mailing List
To stay informed about all things CoreTennis, subscribe to our free mailing list!
To get in touch with CoreTennis, follow the link and fill in the form.
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Andrea Renee Villarreal (MEX)

Country: Mexico, Born March 24, 1994 (21 years old), Category: WTA
ITF Ranking
Career High : 1190
Jun 30 $10K [Q] $10,000 Quintana Roo, Quintana Roo(MEX)
Jun 02 $10K 1/8 $10,000 Pachuca, Pachuca(MEX)
iPhone App
The most extensive coverage of tennis results (ATP, WTA, ITF and juniors) is now available on the go with our our free Tennis For The Win application for the iPhone.
Download now from the AppStore and pass the word!
If you are a player featured in CoreTennis, you can get in touch with us to have more information and your pictures published on your profile
Ranking Graphs
We have points graphs and position graphs for ATP, WTA and ITF players. Check out this unique perspective on the game now
Mailing List
To stay informed about all things CoreTennis, subscribe to our free mailing list!
To get in touch with CoreTennis, follow the link and fill in the form.
AddThis Social Bookmark Button


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Artur Chernov Ranking (RUS)

Country: Russian Federation, Born June 4, 1988 (26 years old), Category: ATP
ATP Ranking
Year End Ranking
Season High : 1355
Season Low: 1749
ATP Ranking
Year End Ranking
Season High : 589
Season Low: 1597
ATP Ranking
Year End Ranking
Season High : 627
Season Low: 1360
ATP Ranking
Year End Ranking
Season High : 950
Season Low: 1266
iPhone App
The most extensive coverage of tennis results (ATP, WTA, ITF and juniors) is now available on the go with our our free Tennis For The Win application for the iPhone.
Download now from the AppStore and pass the word!
If you are a player featured in CoreTennis, you can get in touch with us to have more information and your pictures published on your profile
Ranking Graphs
We have points graphs and position graphs for ATP, WTA and ITF players. Check out this unique perspective on the game now
Mailing List
To stay informed about all things CoreTennis, subscribe to our free mailing list!
To get in touch with CoreTennis, follow the link and fill in the form.
AddThis Social Bookmark Button


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Ho Jasmine (PHI)

Country: Philippines, Born March 18, 1995 (20 years old), Category: Junior, Girls
ITF Ranking
Career High : 1060
Mar 20 G18 G1 1/32 Mitsubishi-Lancer International Juniors Championships, Manila(PHI)
iPhone App
The most extensive coverage of tennis results (ATP, WTA, ITF and juniors) is now available on the go with our our free Tennis For The Win application for the iPhone.
Download now from the AppStore and pass the word!
If you are a player featured in CoreTennis, you can get in touch with us to have more information and your pictures published on your profile
Ranking Graphs
We have points graphs and position graphs for ATP, WTA and ITF players. Check out this unique perspective on the game now
Mailing List
To stay informed about all things CoreTennis, subscribe to our free mailing list!
To get in touch with CoreTennis, follow the link and fill in the form.
AddThis Social Bookmark Button


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Joey Swaysland Ranking (AUS)

Country: Australia, Born April 11, 1993 (22 years old), Category: ATP
ATP Ranking
Year End Ranking
Season High : 1514
Season Low: 1651
ATP Ranking
Year End Ranking
Season High : 1423
Season Low: 1517
ITF Ranking
Year End Ranking
Season High : 193
Season Low: 388
ITF Ranking
Year End Ranking
Season High : 91
Season Low: 419
ITF Ranking
Year End Ranking
Season High : 129
Season Low: 254
ITF Ranking
Year End Ranking
Season High : 230
Season Low: 1457
iPhone App
The most extensive coverage of tennis results (ATP, WTA, ITF and juniors) is now available on the go with our our free Tennis For The Win application for the iPhone.
Download now from the AppStore and pass the word!
If you are a player featured in CoreTennis, you can get in touch with us to have more information and your pictures published on your profile
Ranking Graphs
We have points graphs and position graphs for ATP, WTA and ITF players. Check out this unique perspective on the game now
Mailing List
To stay informed about all things CoreTennis, subscribe to our free mailing list!
To get in touch with CoreTennis, follow the link and fill in the form.
AddThis Social Bookmark Button


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Nikita Morozov (RUS)

Country: Russian Federation, Category: Junior, Boys
Jul 28 B16 1/16 Yerevan Cup, Yerevan(ARM)
Jul 21 B18 G5 [Q] Incourt Cup, Yerevan(ARM)
Jul 14 B16 1/8 Ufa Cup, Ufa(RUS)
Mar 17 B18 G2 [Q] Tashkent ITF Juniors, Tashkent(UZB)
iPhone App
The most extensive coverage of tennis results (ATP, WTA, ITF and juniors) is now available on the go with our our free Tennis For The Win application for the iPhone.
Download now from the AppStore and pass the word!
If you are a player featured in CoreTennis, you can get in touch with us to have more information and your pictures published on your profile
Ranking Graphs
We have points graphs and position graphs for ATP, WTA and ITF players. Check out this unique perspective on the game now
Mailing List
To stay informed about all things CoreTennis, subscribe to our free mailing list!
To get in touch with CoreTennis, follow the link and fill in the form.
AddThis Social Bookmark Button


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Razeena Marzuq

Overview of Razeena Marzuq in Apopka, FL

Fay & Khay, Inc. filed as a Domestic for Profit Corporation in the State of Florida on Friday, September 7, 2007. This corporation is no longer active according to documents filed with Florida Department of State.

Razeena's past corporate interests include the President of Fay & Khay, Inc. and the Manager of Elmore Properties & Holdins, LLC .

Records Similar to Razeena Marzuq

  • Florida Department of State refreshed 9/1/2013


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Bumbaco Shoe Repair

Overview of Bumbaco Shoe Repair in Grove City, PA

This profile for Bumbaco Shoe Repair is located in Grove City, PA. Bumbaco Shoe Repair industry is listed as Shoe Repair/Shoeshine Parlor.

Key People

John Bumbaco serves as the Principal

D&B Company Report
  • 1 Active Members Found

Key roles for Bumbaco Shoe Repair

Business Reports for Bumbaco Shoe Repair

Comprehensive Insight Plus Report

 Learn More
The D&B Comprehensive Insight Plus Report for Bumbaco Shoe Repair combines D&B's proprietary statistical scoring with business, payment and financial information all in one report.

US Company Profile Report

 Learn More
The D&B U.S. Company Profile contains basic information such as address and telephone number, executive names and titles, line of business and SIC codes, D-U-N-S Numbers, organization status, and year and location of incorporation for Bumbaco Shoe Repair.

  • Dun & Bradstreet refreshed 5/11/2015
  • Dun & Bradstreet refreshed 5/11/2015


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Bienvenue Cafe Inc

Overview of Bienvenue Cafe Inc in Olympia, WA

This profile for Bienvenue Cafe Inc is located in Olympia, WA. Bienvenue Cafe Inc industry is listed as Eating Place.

Key People

Roy Gappert serves as the President

D&B Company Report
  • 1 Active Members Found

Key roles for Bienvenue Cafe Inc

Business Reports for Bienvenue Cafe Inc

Comprehensive Insight Plus Report

 Learn More
The D&B Comprehensive Insight Plus Report for Bienvenue Cafe Inc combines D&B's proprietary statistical scoring with business, payment and financial information all in one report.

US Company Profile Report

 Learn More
The D&B U.S. Company Profile contains basic information such as address and telephone number, executive names and titles, line of business and SIC codes, D-U-N-S Numbers, organization status, and year and location of incorporation for Bienvenue Cafe Inc.

  • Dun & Bradstreet refreshed 5/11/2015
  • Dun & Bradstreet refreshed 5/11/2015


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Wrestling club thanks participants, sponsors

The Cortez Wrestling Club Enlargephoto

The Cortez Wrestling Club

Cortez Wrestling Club would like to shout out a huge THANK YOU, to everyone that helped us with our Cortez Wrestling Tournament that was held March 22.

Our thanks, go out to Coca Cola, Ace Builders Choice, IFA, Dennis Rieb’s Auto Works, Keesee Motor Company, Precision Detailing, Notah Dineh, Napa Auto Parts, Sonic, Montezuma County Fairgrounds and Tanner, Keys Energy, Sheriff’s Posse, Lewis Arriola Fire Dept., City of Cortez, Cortez, JR High and High School wrestling teams for their mats, Mancos Wrestling Club, the Cortez High School Wrestlers for their help in reffing- Seager Oliver, Rodney Oliver, Levi Gross, Casey Lynn, Parker Oliver, Ryan Daves, and the other refs who stepped up and helped with the tournament are Joey Trevino, James Snyder, Chance Osment, Jason Hall, Cody Canzona, Briggs Durbin, Harry Atcitty, Art, and Ivan.

Also we like to thank Ruthie Youmans Lee for making Indian Tacos. The CWC board members and kids would like to thank the Parents of the CWC and volunteers that don’t have kids in the program that helped out before, during, and after the tournament. Without the parents help with this tournament it would never happen. Thank you, again.

Cortez Wrestling Club


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Bag Ord Logo

At the beginning of 2013, the City of Corvallis took a big step to decrease unnecessary waste by reducing the use of single-use checkout bags in our community. The Corvallis City Council approved the “Single-Use Plastic Carryout Bags” Ordinance on July 2, 2012 to encourage the use of reusable bags and on January 1, 2013, the ordinance went into effect.

This new ordinance applies to all retail establishments, except restaurants, within Corvallis city limits. Enforcement began January 1, 2013 for larger businesses (over 50 full-time equivalent employees (FTEs)) and July 1, 2013 for smaller businesses (50 or less FTEs).

Key elements of the ordinance:

  • Single-use plastic carry out bags are prohibited at checkout or point of sale. This includes all plastic bags less than 2.25 mils thick.
  • Thick plastic bags — 2.25 mils or greater — are considered reusable and may be provided with or without charge at the retailer’s discretion.
  • Plastic bags provided at a time other than checkout are allowed. These include plastic bags used for meat, produce or bulk items. Plastic bags for restaurant take-out foods are also allowed.
  • Customers must be charged a minimum of $.05 for any barrel size paper bag provided at checkout. Barrel size paper bags are full-sized grocery bags typical at most grocery stores. Retailers keep the revenue from the $.05 charge. Paper bags provided at a time other than checkout do not require a $.05 charge.
  • Barrel size paper bags provided at checkout must contain a minimum of 40% post-consumer recycled content. All paper bags must be 100% recyclable, and must be capable of composting completely.
  • Customers using vouchers under the Women, Infants and Children (WIC) Program must be provided with either a reusable bag or a paper bag at no cost upon request of the customer at the point of sale.
  • If a retailer is found to be in violation of the ordinance, a minimum fine of $200 will be imposed for each offense.

More information:

  1. The Ordinance
  2. FAQs for retailers (PDF)
  3. FAQs for shoppers (PDF)
  4. Ordinance notification letter sent to retail establishments May 2013 (PDF)
  5. Letter clarifying WIC and food stamp compliance (PEF)
  6. Ordinance notification letter sent to retail establishments August 2012 (PDF)
  7. Materials for retailers
  8. History

Reminder: Reusable shopping bags can collect unhealthy germs if they are not cleaned regularly. It is recommended that shoppers keep their reusable bags clean by machine- or hand-washing them.

For additional questions, contact Scott Dybvad at (541) 766-6331 or via email.

Last updated: 12/29/2014 3:44:12 PM


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Posted by: Staff
/ 44 weeks 5 days ago

New Spots For Dwayne Johnson's Hercules: Hero, Cause, Team Up & New Sounds

Check out four new spots for Hercules, which stars Dwayne Johnson.

Hercules has a July 25, 2014 release directed by Brett Ratner also starring Ian McShane, John Hurt and Irina Shayk.

Both man and myth, Hercules (Dwayne Johnson) leads a band of mercenaries to help end a bloody civil war in the land of Thrace and return the rightful king to his throne. A tormented soul from birth, Hercules has the strength of a God but feels the suffering of a human.

Unimaginable villains will test the mythical power of Hercules in Director Brett Ratner’s gritty take on one of the most epic action heroes of the ages.

Latest Images

More From Cosmic Book News:

Dive into the Star Wars universe from the comfort of your own home with the Star Wars: Battle Pod.
A breathtaking new vision of humanity's next epic encounter with the being called DIVINITY!
Grillo started filming on his MMA series Kingdom.
The machine that gives Cyborg his powers is evolving!
Batmobile in high-def action chasing the Joker around the streets of Toronto.
Here is your list of comic books and related merchandise on sale for this week.
Benoist auditioned ten times over the course of two-and-a-half months for the role.


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In 2006, I was in my childhood bedroom, 18 years old, staring at my body in a mirror. In a tiny white dress with nothing underneath, my tan skin glowed.

"Your parents are going to kill you," my friend Katie said, handing me a bottle of perfume.

"They're not coming home for a week," I said as I spritzed the nape of my neck. "Plus they said no parties."

Jake, a friend of Katie's from college, was coming over. We had met once before, and he told Katie I was — in his words — super cute. With my parents away, I invited him over to watch a movie, Dick and Jane, and hoped maybe we'd make out by the end of the night.

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When Jake arrived, Katie left. He sat on one couch and I sat on the other. Five minutes into the movie, he switched couches. I remember thinking to myself, Yes, he's going to kiss me. Three minutes later, he did.

But 12 minutes into the movie, I was on my back. He grabbed my wrists and locked them above my head and I said no twice but he didn't seem to want to hear me.

I shut my eyes tight and focused on the sounds of the movie. When I got the courage to say no for the third time, I felt him releasing into my vagina. He collapsed on top of me, his sweaty chest against my own, and all I wanted to do was throw up.

"I didn't want to do that," I told Jake. He was wiping ejaculate off his stomach, the remnants that didn't make it inside me.

"You seemed like you wanted to," he said, laughing. "It was good! You were fine."

"I said no. I tried to push you off," I said.

"I don't think that's what happened," he said, smiling at me.

That was the night I lost my virginity. In my empty house, I stayed up all night trying to clean the blood stains off the couch.

Later that year, I talked very openly about what happened to me because I forced myself to come to terms with it very quickly. I knew it was rape, that rape didn't have to be in a dark alleyway with a stranger. Rape can be someone you know and even someone you trust. I understood that it wasn't my fault.

My parents together had taken me to see a therapist, once a week, for the rest of that summer. The rape, my rape, was all I talked about for months. It was almost as if I was trying to exhaust it out of me, so that one day I'd never have to talk about it again.

In 2007, I joined a women's advocacy group in college and was trained to help talk to women who had experienced sexual assault and rape and violence on our idyllic liberal arts college campus in the Northeast.

I told my story, over and over and over again to crowds of people and at freshman orientations. My rape became the rape. I was not defined by the rape, though I was becoming defined by not being defined by the rape.

But still, I talked. There are so many women who won't, and I wanted to talk enough for all of us.

Dave and I met before the rape, and he knew about it. We were friends first, then got together later in 2007. He seemed to really care about me, even though I thought that no one ever would again.

Four months into our relationship — a long time by anyone's standards — we decided to have sex. Though I'd hooked up with guys at college since the rape, I'd yet to have sex with anyone. I wasn't afraid, but I wanted the person I was sleeping with to know my story and to care. I didn't want any casual one-night stand to remind me of what happened that night in 2006. Dave was special to me.

I lay on the bed, on my back. He slipped my dress off me, and I felt overwhelmingly vulnerable. The muscles in my thighs tightened, as if I was bracing myself before a plane crash. I choked on my own breath as he guided himself into me, my vagina contracted and seemed to clench, creating a wall.

He wasn't getting through. My legs slammed together; the balls of my feet kicked him off me.

"Whoa, whoa," he balanced himself on the post of my bed, "what was that?"

This happened three or four more times. Then I stopped trying. I masturbated, but I didn't need to finger myself to do it. Clitoral stimulation was all it took.

When I went to my gynecologist for an annual pap smear, she couldn't pry my legs apart. I cried.

"You're going to have to deal with this or that boyfriend is going to leave you."

I sent a hastily written letter to the board of directors at the medical group and got a new doctor. I never scheduled an appointment.

The next year, I lay on my back, the tears fell from my eyes down into my ears. Dave was on top of me, and my only comfort was the scent of him: sweet sweat and shampoo, the faintest bit of nicotine in between his fingers.

You know him, I reminded myself.

You know him, you know him, you know him.

And I reached my hands down, physically forcing my legs to spread apart as I looked into his eyes, searching them, silently pleading no.

I did not reach up to touch his bare chest. I didn't moan in pleasure or pain. The sound of the 2008 Oscars from the television was a million miles away.

"I don't want to do this," I sighed and rolled over, the tears flowing in unstoppable streams.

"You said you wanted to try."

I knew that tone — it was exasperation. It was, Are you fucking kidding me. It was, Get over it. Make me feel like our 14-month relationship is built on passion and love and not fear that you are too damaged for anyone else to love you.

"I don't want to try tonight."

Dave threw his shirt back on and let my front door slam shut behind him. That would be the fifth and last time we unsuccessfully tried to have sex.

In 2010, a new gynecologist diagnosed me with something called vaginismus — something roughly 0.49 percent of women have. The few studies vary widely on the incidence because most women are too embarrassed to seek help.

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Vaginismus is an involuntary tightness of the vagina and its muscles while trying to engage in intercourse (or internal examination). Your body literally won't let anything in. Some women have it their whole lives. Some find it's a part of the aftermath of rape or sexual assault. Others experience its symptoms post-childbirth or after menopause.

There's no "cure." Getting over vaginismus is more like a sport you have to practice and a fear you have to get over. It takes time and dedication. My doctor gave me a kit with plastic dilators and one-time use packages of lubricant. She told me to "log my trials" with the kit. Afraid of the pain and convinced nothing would help me, I never used it once.

The only other thing I heard — or information I could find at the time — about vaginismus was on an MTV True Life episode called "True Life: I Can't Have Sex." One of the girls said she had vaginismus and I watched silently as my friends live-tweeted it.

If that was me I would literally kill myself, they said.

While people knew about the rape, they did not know about its lasting effects.

I felt incredibly alone as I listened to my friends talk about their sex lives and their one-night stands. I felt incredibly alone when I'd have staring contests with the dilator kit.

In 2011, my first-date bar of choice in Manhattan was a Cuban restaurant called Cienfuegos. I drank rum and tequila in this dark room across from strangers and imagined a life in which I was not so fucked up from the rape.

When these first dates looked at me and told me they liked my blue eyes and the way my dark brown hair fell against my face, I could see them thinking of what my body looked like naked. I panicked. They were thinking we were going to have sex that night and we couldn't and then they'd hate me.

"I was raped in college and my body doesn't let me have sex because of it so if you were thinking we could maybe have sex tonight we can't," I said, trying to act confident and assured, even though I was far from both.

They just stared at me. What were they supposed to say?

I flashed them a million-dollar smile and downed the rest of my teacup filled of tequila, and when I never heard from them again, it wasn't so hard for me to cut my losses.

A year later, I met Paul. I blurted out the story of the rape on our first date, and weirdly, he wanted to keep seeing me. On our third date, we ate ice cream and walked around a local bookstore. I still couldn't believe I hadn't scared him off with my story. I couldn't believe how much I wanted to keep seeing him, how cute he was.

We kissed good night on my stoop after we left the bookstore. He texted me as I was walking up the stairs to my apartment.

I love kissing you, Sav.

On November 19, 2011, I turned 24.

My door was closed; the only source of light came from the window. My neighbors across the airshaft forgot to turn their bathroom lights off again.

Paul was on top of me, his hand gently pushed my hair off my face, and he kissed my forehead.

Happy birthday, baby.

We were trying to have sex for the first time. At this point, we'd been together for almost six months and he was so patient and I was so in love. When his mouth found the spot near my right ear, a chill ran down my spine, and I pulled him in tighter.

He began to move inside of me, my muscles clenched and I forgot to breathe. He stopped and looked at me.

I smiled. I breathed. My hands found their way down and I pushed my legs apart and I held them there. I breathed.

He pushed into me in one fell swoop. We had talked about this (Do you want me to go slowly or should we just do it?) and I wanted to just do it. The anticipation was nearly more painful than the action.

Are you in? I wanted to know, breathing in rapid snaps.

Almost. You're doing great, Sav.

He pushed further in. Then out, then back in. I eventually loosened up a little, moving rhythmically along with him.

Why are you crying? he asked.

Because I feel so normal.

Weeks passed. Soon my legs didn't need to be forced open.

Months. There was no need for a pep talk.

Years. We weren't right for each other anymore and we both knew it. We broke up. Thank you, I whispered into his ear before leaving his apartment for the last time, clinging to what I learned, hoping that — once again — I was not starting from scratch.

In 2013, Cienfuegos was as dark as ever. His name is Miles, and it was our second date. He had green eyes, and I liked the way his laugh pierced through my tequila buzz.

I'd said nothing about the rape, but I knew this was my chance.

Do you want to go home with me? I asked. He nodded.

Can I have sex with a stranger who I do not love? Can I physically connect with someone who I haven't decided to trust yet? Can I do this?

He didn't orgasm and neither did I. It was, by all accounts, terrible sex. Awful. But it was sex. And the next morning, I didn't stop smiling for the entire 36-block walk to work.

Sex remains a struggle, even years after the rape, but I know my body. I am confident enough to share my issue with vaginismus with men I trust and I have enough self-esteem to know that if a guy can't handle it, he isn't worth sleeping with anyway.

And each time I am able to get a little further in my quest to have a regular, healthy sex life, I find myself believing that one day, I truly will.

*Ed. note: This author is writing under a pseudonym.

What Do You Think?


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View Full Version : ROOMMATES NEEDED. Inquire within.

08-20-2003, 10:26 PM
We've got a room with a current status of five occupants, and we are looking for one, two or three more people to join us. Costs of the room will likely be just under a hundred dollars, probably about $70 or $80 a person.

We've got a relatively nice room, in the same hotel as the convention. Conveniently enough, we also have a GameCube and copies of Soul Calibur II and Smash Bros. Melee! ^_^

Anyone interested please let me know!


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Kyoshi Warrior

Avatar: The Last Airbender

Last Updated: 11-04-2010

Made by my friend. Worn to NYCC.

Comments: 1

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United States

Character Suki
Series Avatar: The Last Airbender
Costume Views 2295
Favorites 4
Comments 1
Upload Date 02-10-2009
Debuted NYCC

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Unread 01-18-2011, 01:45 AM   #1896
culture shocked
kiratsukai's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 3,802
Name of Merchant: Coscolle
Items ordered: A Mokou costume set (blouse, pants, suspenders, 6 hair ribbons and 1 head ribbon)
Links to picture(s) of your items recieved: coming

Timeline (how long your order took to process): 2 days

Experience: I ended up with a wig perfect for the character in a Lucky Bag and in order to keep it a "cheap costume" looked at just about every single Mokou costume available on the internet for a combination of low price and accuracy O-o Coscolle's offering had the sleeves I wanted and all of the pieces for what I thought was a very good price (12,800 yen).

Pros: The package was shipped the day after I ordered it (the first business day after my order) in spite of my not having actually paid for it yet ^^;;; I panicked and ran to the bank today to put the transfer through, just in case my not having paid might cause troubles with coscolle. Sure enough, the package arrived not 15 minutes after I sent the bank transfer paying for it. That's FAST!

The costume I recieved looks just like the one on the site. All of the pieces are included and the fabrics are the color and sheen they were represented to be. The "M" size, as I suspected, is actually a "one size fits all" sort of M and fits my size-L butt just fine.

Cons: The costume is still a cheap Chinese factory costume. The wards are printed onto the fabric in white that shows up slightly pink with the red fabric underneath and stick to one another when folded. I imagine with a few washes or tight folds, they will begin to chip off. The material is very thin, unlined and the shirt is see-through. The ribbons are printed the same way the pants are and again, the white looks a little pink. They also don't have any snaps or ties built in... rather someone has stuck regular bobbypins on the sides of each in a rather hilarious way of saying "do it your goddamnned self" :P

All of these things I more or less expected and don't have a problem with but might be annoying to someone who hasn't worked with cheaper pre-made costumes before.

The sleeves and shirt length are a little short for me.

There was a 500 yen "wrapping fee" that can not be waved. This means your package, even if it's for you, comes in a gift box with ghetto wrapping paper and a gift tag. It's just another sneaky backdoor way of charging a shipping and handling fee while still getting Rakuten to list their items first in the "shipping included" search category. Just assume that all costumes are 500 yen more expensive than their posted price.

Final Comments: It looks nice. It's what I ordered. It fits. And it arrived as quickly as one could possibly hope for. Very highly recommended for budget costumes.

Final Grade: A
Basement Sale: Touhou: Mokou costume, clearfiles/shitajiki, NeoRomance/Angelique artbook, etc.

LAYERS Tutorial Translations: here, Blog: here
~ Cosplayer's Archive #67148 ~ Cure #224396 ~ My Marketplace Page ~

Last edited by kiratsukai : 01-18-2011 at 02:00 AM.
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Unread 04-12-2012, 08:00 PM   #9
The Corset Queen
Mehdia's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,135
There are some people who are more hardcore set in what they think steampunk is than I am, so you might get some nay sayers, but I think you jumping off on the right foot. Especially the little jacket. I did that for my friend's steampunk costume I designed and made for her a few years back. She still wears it and even had the steampunk band Abney Park compliment her costume, so that was really cool.
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Costume :Yogi
Source :Karneval
Progress :In Progress
Worn At :None

Costume Photos

Reference :3

Costume Information

Cost : at least £20

Aslong as my commision can go through in time i should be taking Yogi to the mcm expo on saturday, ive hunted down most things though im going to wing bits if i have to.
The wig is already ordered and coming to me. Friend gunna tell me how to make it more yogi like though.

Avatar Image

omg YOGIII !!! ♥
I like ;DDDD

by KC-HOME on Thursday, 2 May, 2013 - 10:22
Avatar Image

Yogi!~ <3 Best Karneval character. :33

by KuKu on Friday, 3 May, 2013 - 11:54


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Syringa contracts with MRI mobile service
DMS Health Technologies, a national mobile diagnostic imaging services provider, signed a contract withDMS Health Technologies will be providing mobile MRI service for Syringa Hospital and Clinics. Syringa Hospital and Clinics of Grangeville, Idaho, to provide mobile MRI services to their facility every other Wednesday. The accredited mobile MRI unit offers patients a clean, clinical setting for their MRI scan, which is conducted by a professional MRI technologist.
Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) is a sophisticated and highly accurate imaging technique used to diagnose diseases of the brain, spine, skeleton, chest, abdomen, pelvis and blood vessels. With a large magnet, radio waves and a computer, MRI produces detailed cross-sectional pictures of your internal organs and structures without using ionizing radiation.
Physicians interested in scheduling an MRI exam for their patients must contact Syringa Hospital and Clinics directly.

Cottonwood, Idaho 83522

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Students design big changes for Bardstown Road

Residents consider options at design workshop

3:47 PM, Apr. 26, 2011

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An outdoor mall and commons area, an artful display of lights under the Watterson Expressway and a pedestrian crossing for Bardstown Road - those are just a few ideas residents considered for Bardstown Road from Gardiner to Hikes lanes at a recent design workshop.

The workshop, sponsored by the Center for Neighborhoods, a local nonprofit organization specializing in community-based development, featured six plans designed by students from the University of Kentucky's Department of Landscape Architecture.

Residents, business owners and others were invited to peruse the plans and ...

Louisville, Kentucky • Southern Indiana

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Louisville man pistol whipped and robbed but escapes as shots fired

11:22 AM, Dec. 5, 2012
  • Filed Under

A Louisville man forced to lie face down with a gun to the back of his head while two other men threatened to kill him managed to escape as his attackers fired shots at him, according to Jefferson County court documents.

Louisville Metro Police have arrested one of the men and a woman they said drove a car for them.

A police complaint said Terrance Warrick was jumped outside his apartment at Trafalgar Square late Monday by Ovell Patton, 28, and another man, who were both armed with handguns. Police said they were driven to ...

Louisville, Kentucky • Southern Indiana

Welcome to Louisville

Hello, visitors, guests and newcomers. Louisville is a great place to live, work, play — and celebrate.
» Check out our guide to the area.

Courier-Journal Datacenter

Find government salaries, crimes, test scores, and more at the Courier-Journal Datacenter.

Local Deals

Flip, shop and save on specials from your favorite retailers in Louisville.

Investigations with Impact: The heart of The Courier-Journal mission is public service journalism. Daily, we print and put online the watchdog stories that significantly affect you.

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News Briefs (May 28, 2013)
by Courier staff
10:04 AM, Tuesday, May 28 2013 | 1971 views | 0 0 comments | 7 7 recommendations | email to a friend | print
Swimming lessons at Hickey Pool

The Russellville Recreation and Parks Department will conduct swim lessons with certified Red Cross instructors this summer at M.J. Hickey Pool. The Learn to Swim program will begin on June 10. The number of sessions and classes will be determined by the number of participants. Each session will be Monday through Thursday for a two-week period. Morning classes and evening classes will be available. Class space is limited.

Register at the Hughes Community Center located at 1000 E. Parkway from 7 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday. Minors must be registered by a parent or legal guardian, and a fee of $60 will be required to register. For more information, call 968-1272.

Annual Appleton Homecoming

The annual Appleton Homecoming will be held on Saturday and Sunday.

Saturday’s events will begin at 1 p.m. with a parade, followed by a cakewalk. Ladies are asked to please bake desserts. Food will be provided by the Jerusalem Freewill Baptist Church, and music will be provided by the New Heart Bluegrass Gospel Group and by the Oakgrove Singers.

All Saturday events will be held at the Appletone Community Building.

Sunday’s events will begin at 10 a.m. at the Appleton Cumberland Presbyterian Church. There will be worship, singing, talks, and a potluck lunch in the Fellowship Hall.

Everyone is invited. For more information, call 284-4357.

Tax assessment deadline is May 31

The deadline to assess individual personal and/or business personal property is May 31. After that date, a 10 percent late assessment penaltywill be applied.

Individual personal property can be assessed by phone, in person, or online at This website can also be used to verify 2013 individual assessments. Business personal property must be rendered on the Pope County Commercial Assessment Form. Real Estate assessment need only be rendered by the owner if there has been a physical change made to the property.

Also, if you have not previously filed for the Homestead Credit, you need to contact our office. In addition to a maximum $350 real estate tax credit, Amendment 79 allows additional benefits, one being a freeze on the taxable value of the homestead, to Homeowners who are 100 percent disabled or age 65 or older as of Jan. 1, 2012.

Law requires that proof of eligibility be on file at the Assessor’s Office for state audits. If you meet these requirements and have not provided the proof, please send it to the Pope County Assessor’s Office as soon as possible so we will be able to record your eligibility.

If you have any questions, please call 968-7418 from 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Monday through Friday or come by the Assessor’s Office located at 100 W. Main in Russellville on the second floor of the courthouse.

Pope County Senior Activity Center

The Pope County Senior Activity Center would like to invite everyone to see the new additions to the center. Lunch is served everyday from 11:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. and there is Gospel singing from 10 a.m. to 11 a.m.

The center hosts dances every Friday morning from 10 to 11:15 a.m. There is also dancing on every second and fourth Tuesday night from 6:30 to 9 p.m., with a donation of $5.

Everyone is welcome.

Auction and bake sale

Come support your local food bank at an auction and bake sale beginning at 6 p.m. at the Cornerstone Assembly of God Food Bank in Atkins.

There will be homemade items and baked goodies, and a snack bar will be available.

All donations are welcome.
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Mearl Pipes
12:00 PM, Thursday, January 26 2012 | 788 views | 1 1 recommendations | email to a friend | print
Mearl Pipes
Mearl Pipes
MOBERLY, MO. — Mearl C. Pipes, 66, of Moberly, Mo., passed away Tuesday, Jan. 24, 2012, at his home.

Mearl was born July 26, 1945, in Novelty, Mo., to Herman and Alta Kent Pipes. In 1964, he married Katherine Krawl and she survives of the home.

Other survivors includes his children, Sharon (Nathan) Metzer of Dover, Melissa (David) Duvall of Moberly, Mo., Christina Jones of Moberly, Mo., Angela Pipes, (Michael Lawrence) of London, Jeremy (Linda) Pipes of Moberly, Mo., and Cassandra Pipes of Moberly, Mo.; grandchildren, Justin Rentfro, Selena Metzer, Marlana Duvall, Christopher Duvall, Joshua Duvall, Jessica Jones and Mashaela Pipes; multiple great-grandchildren; and sisters, Nadine Haley, Imogene Rouse, Evelyn Davis and Francis Pulis.

He was preceded in death by his parents and a daughter, Cynthia.

Mearl lived most of his life in the Moberly, Mo., area where he worked as a mechanic. He enjoyed working with his hands, especially woodworking and farming, which was always his dream.

Services will be conducted at 2 p.m. Friday at Pathway Memorial Funeral Home in Moberly, Mo., with visitation from noon to 2 p.m. Interment will be in Mount Tabor Cemetery in Atlanta, Mo.

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2 Kensett officers accused of stealing pet deer
by The Associated Press
10:56 PM, Saturday, April 20 2013 | 1458 views | 0 0 comments | 5 5 recommendations | email to a friend | print
KENSETT (AP) — Court records show two suspended police officers in Kensett are accused of stealing someone’s pet deer.

Authorities were initially tight-lipped about the allegations against Sgt. Debra Bailey and Officer Derek Balentine. The Daily Citizen obtained details of the criminal charges through a Freedom of Information Act request.

Bailey is charged with theft of lost property, conspiracy and solicitation. Balentine is charged with conspiracy.

According to an affidavit, the deer’s owner discovered it missing in September. The affidavit stated Bailey took the deer because it was following people around in Kensett.

Court records allege that Bailey gave the deer to Balentine’s parents even though the owner wanted it back.

The affidavit stated Bailey apologized for not following procedure but said she was looking out for the deer’s best interest.

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Liverpool Legends Concert Sweepstakes

The Liverpool Legends Concert Sweepstakes begins on July 17, 2014 at 8:00 a.m. CT and ends on August 22 at 12PM CT. The time shall be determined by Sponsor’s timekeeping systems. Sponsor shall have the sole discretion in determining the timeliness of any action or inaction related to this Contest. All times mentioned in these Official Rules are Central Time unless expressly noted otherwise.

Open only to legal U.S. residents who are 18 years of age or older as of date of entry and reside in Indiana, Kentucky & Illinois in the following counties Daviess, Dubois, Gibson, Knox, Martin, Perry, Pike, Posey, Spencer or Vanderburgh, Warrick, Crittenden, Daviess, Henderson, Hopkins, Lyon, Union, Webster, Clay, Crawford, Edwards, Gallatin, Hamilton, Lawrence, Richland, Saline, Wabash, Wayne, or White.  Void wherever prohibited by law. Employees of Scripps Media, Inc. d/b/a The Evansville Courier & Press, their respective affiliates, subsidiaries, advertising and promotion agencies, prize suppliers, including any vendors providing services in connection with this Sweepstakes (collectively, the “Sponsor Affiliates”) and the immediate family members (spouse, mother, father, in-laws, grandmother, grandfather, brother, sister, children and grandchildren) and/or those living in the same household of Sponsor or Sponsor Affiliates are not eligible. By participating, entrants agree to be bound by the Official Rules and the decisions of Sponsor.

 Beginning 7/17/2014 through 8/22/2014 look for the Sweepstakes Official Entry form printed in the Courier and Press each day during the Entry Period.  Complete the Entry form and hand deliver, or mail your entry in a hand-addressed, business-size envelope (#10) with first-class postage, to: The Courier & Press Office, 300 E. Walnut St. Evansville, IN 47713.  Entries must be received by 11:59 AM CT on 7/9/2012. Limit one entry per envelope. Official Entry forms will also be available at The Courier & Press Office.  Limit one Entry form per person.

Limit one entry per person and per household address.  No mechanically reproduced entries of any kind permitted. Illegible and incomplete entries are void. Sponsor is not responsible for lost, late, mutilated, postage due, misdirected entries or entries not received. In the event of a dispute over who submitted an online entry, the entry will be deemed to have been submitted by the authorized account holder of the e-mail account identified on the online entry form. The authorized account holder is deemed to be the natural person who is assigned to an e-mail address by an Internet access provider, service provider, or online organization responsible for assigning e-mail addresses for the domain associated with the submitted e-mail address.  Entries become the property of Sponsor and will not be returned.

WINNER SELECTION:   Winner(s) will be selected by random drawing on or about

August 22, 2014 at 12p.m. from all eligible entries received.  Decisions of Sponsor are final on all matters. Winner will be notified by email only using the information provided in the entry and will have (2) business days to respond. If there is no timely response an alternate potential prize winner may be selected. Limit one prize per person/household address. Odds of winning will depend upon the number of eligible entries received.

PRIZE(S): (8) Eight Prizes – each winner receives (2 Two tickets to see Liverpool Legends on August 30, 2014 at AIS Diamond Auditorium (ARV $60/set).  Sponsor:  Evansville Courier Company, Inc., 300 E. Walnut St. Evansville, IN 47713. Prizes consist of only those items specifically listed as part of the prize. No substitution or transfer/assignment of prize by winners permitted. Subject to all terms, conditions and restrictions on face of tickets or imposed by issuer. If by reason of printing or other error, more prizes are claimed than the number of prizes set forth in these Official Rules, a random drawing will be held to award the advertised number of prizes in the relevant category.  Under no circumstances will more than the advertised number of prizes be awarded.   Winner must pick up his or her prize at the Courier & Press Office, 300 E. Walnut St. Evansville, IN 47713 M-F between 9AM – 5PM no later than 8/28/2014. Federal, state, and local taxes on prizes, if any, and any other costs, fees and expenses not listed above as specifically included as part of the prize are the sole responsibility of winner. ALL TAXES ARE THE SOLE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE WINNER. An IRS form 1099 and other tax-related forms and documents may be issued by Sponsor if required by law.

WINNER NOTIFICATION AND RELEASES: On or around August 22, 2014, Sponsor shall notify the potential winner(s). The potential prize winner(s) will be contacted via telephone or email. If a potential winner does not respond after the first attempted contact from Sponsor within 48 hours he or she will be disqualified and the prize awarded to an alternate winner as determined by random draw from the remaining eligible entries. The potential prize winner(s) may be asked to provide confirmation that he or she is the owner of the relevant email address. Each potential winner may be required, in Sponsor’s sole discretion, to complete and return an Affidavit of Eligibility, a scan or photo of legal ID, Release of Liability and/or, if legally permissible, a Publicity Release and also to have any companion(s) that will participate in the prize activities, if applicable, return the same documentation before claiming the prize or being allowed to participate in any prize activities. If any of the potential winner or the companion(s), if applicable, is under the age of majority in his or her state of residence, then the parent or legal guardian of the minor potential winner or companion(s) must sign and return all required forms. All forms must be postmarked within 10 days of the date on notification materials if return is requested via mail or forms must be completed before receipt of any prize if prizes are picked up in person. Noncompliance within this time period and/or return of any prize/prize notification as undeliverable may result in disqualification and an alternate potential winner may be randomly selected from all remaining eligible entries. Sponsor reserves the right to substitute any prize with prize of equal or greater value in its sole discretion. Acceptance of any prize constitutes permission to the Sponsor to use winners’ name, voice, statements, image and likeness for purposes of advertising and trade, in any medium, without further compensation, unless prohibited by law.

PUBLICITY AND MARKETING:  Submission of an entry in the sweepstakes constitutes permission to the Sponsor to use entrant’s name, identity, title, likeness, distinctive appearance, physical likeness, image, portrait, picture, photograph (whether still or moving), screen persona, voice, vocal style, statements, gesture, mannerism, personality, performance characteristic, biographical data, signature, social media handles and identities, and any other indicia or imitation of identity or likeness for purposes of advertising and trade, in any medium, without further notice, approval, or compensation, unless prohibited by law. Submission of contact information in connection with this sweepstakes (whether or not required), including without limitation mailing address, phone number, and email address, during entry constitutes permission for Sponsor to use entrant’s personal information for purposes of administration of the Contest and for Sponsor to add entrant to Sponsor’s customer database and to contact entrant in the future for promotional and other reasons. You may opt-out of receiving such communications as set forth in Sponsor’s Privacy Policy as provided within any such marketing materials. You understand that you are providing your information to Sponsor and the information you provide will only be used in accordance with Sponsor’s Privacy Policy.

LIABILITY RELEASE & INDEMNIFICATION: By entering this Sweepstakes, you agree to release, discharge and hold harmless Sponsor, Sponsor Affiliates and their respective directors, officers, employees, agents and assigns (the “Released Parties”) from any claims, losses, and damages arising out of, or relating to, your participation in this Sweepstakes or any Sweepstakes-related activities (including, without limitation, any event attended as part of a prize) and the acceptance and use, misuse, or possession of any prize awarded hereunder (including, without limitation, any misrepresentation made by the entrant in connection with the Sweepstakes; any non-compliance by the entrant with these Official Rules; claims brought by persons or entities other than the parties to these Official Rules arising from or related to the entrant’s involvement with the Sweepstakes; acceptance, possession, misuse or use of any prize or participation in any Sweepstakes-related activity or participation in this Contest; any malfunction, error or other problem arising in connection with the collection, processing, or retention of entry information; or any typographical or other error in the printing, offering or announcement of any prize or winner). The foregoing includes, without limitation, any claim for personal injury, property loss or damage, or death arising in any way in connection with the Sweepstakes.

OTHER TERMS:  Sponsor not responsible for any typographical or other error in the printing, the offering or the announcement of any prize or in the administration of the promotion, whether caused by computer, technical or human error. Sponsor is not responsible for late, lost, damaged, incomplete, illegible, faulty, or incorrect transmissions, incorrect announcements of any kind, technical hardware or software failures of any kind, any damage to any person's computer related to or resulting from participating in the online portion of the promotion, lost or unavailable network connections, or failed, incomplete, garbled or delayed computer transmission that may limit a user’s ability to participate in the promotion whether caused by computer, technical or human error. Sponsor reserves the right to cancel or modify the promotion or any portion of it for any reason, including but not limited to, if fraud, misconduct or technical failures destroy the integrity of the promotion; or if a computer virus, bug, wireless failure, or other technical problem corrupts the administration, security, or proper administration of the promotion as determined by Sponsor, in its sole discretion. Sponsor reserves the right to disqualify, freeze or prohibit the participation of an individual if fraud or tampering is suspected, or if the individual fails to comply with any requirement of participation or with any provision in these Official Rules. Any attempt to undermine the operation of this promotion is a violation of criminal & civil laws. Sponsor reserves the right to disqualify and/or seek damages from any individual making any such attempts to the full extent permitted by law.

GOVERNING LAW & JURISDICTION: EXCEPT WHERE PROHIBITED, ENTRANTS AGREE THAT ANY AND ALL DISPUTES, CLAIMS AND CAUSES OF ACTION ARISING OUT OF OR CONNECTED WITH THIS PROMOTION SHALL BE RESOLVED EXCLUSIVELY BY IN THE COURTS OF OHIO LOCATED IN HAMILTON COUNTY, OHIO, AND ANY AND ALL CLAIMS, JUDGEMENTS AND AWARDS SHALL BE LIMITED TO ACTUAL OUT-OF-POCKET COSTS INCURRED BY ENTRANT WITH REGARD TO THIS PROMOTION, BUT IN NO EVENT ATTORNEYS’ FEES, PUNITIVE, INCIDENTAL, CONSEQUENTIAL OR OTHER DAMAGES. All issues and questions concerning the construction, validity, interpretation and enforceability of these Official Rules, or the rights and obligations of entrants and sponsors in connection with the promotion shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of the State of Ohio, without giving effect to any choice of law or conflict of law rules or provisions (whether of Ohio or any other jurisdiction) that would cause the application of the laws of any jurisdiction other than Ohio.  The courts of Ohio in Hamilton County shall be the exclusive forum for any dispute relating to these Official Rules and/or this promotion. All participants and winners agree, by their participation in the Contest, to submit to the personal jurisdiction of the courts of Ohio in Hamilton County and waive the right to contest jurisdiction.

SEVERABILITY: If any provision(s) of these Official Rules are held to be invalid or unenforceable, all remaining provisions hereof will remain in full force and effect.

WINNERS LIST: For the winner name(s), available after August 22, 2014 send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to: Liverpool Legends Concert Sweepstakes to be received by October 22, 2014.

SPONSORS:  Scripps Media, Inc. d/b/a Evansville Courier Company, Inc., 300 E. Walnut St. Evansville, IN 47713.

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Additional product details

ISBN-10 0205626475ISBN-13 9780205626472
ISBN-10 0205459595ISBN-13 9780205459599
Author(s): Claire M. Renzetti; Daniel J. Curran; Shana L. Maier
Publisher: Pearson
Copyright year: © 2012 Pages: 576

This popular text looks at the ways in which gender is socially constructed, how sexism and gender inequality affect men and women, and how other variables compound the problem of gender inequality.

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Texas Limits on PACS Struck by 5th Circuit

     (CN) - Several restrictions Texas places on political action committees are unconstitutional violations of their free-speech rights, the 5th Circuit ruled.
     The nonprofit Catholic Leadership Coalition of Texas joined three PACs - Texas Leadership Coalition Institute for Public Advocacy, Friends of Safa Texas and Texas Freedom PAC - in a 2012 federal complaint against members of the Texas Ethics Commission and Bexar County District Attorney Susan Reed.
     Existing as "general-purpose" committees - PACs that promote a particular point of view - the plaintiffs opposed restrictions that require them to collect donations from 10 contributors, then wait 60 days before collecting or spending more than $500.
     Though the trial court in Austin upheld the laws on cross-motions for summary judgment, a three-judge panel with the New Orleans-based 5th Circuit disagreed Tuesday, striking down the 60-day, $500 limit and 10-contributor restrictions.
     It said the 60-day limit on expenditures is a "severe burden on speech" because it might stop immediate responses to late-breaking events.
     "We reject Texas's suggestion that the 60-day burden does not constitute a significant restriction on speech because a general-purpose committee will know when it will be severely limited in its speech," the 57-page opinion states. "We therefore conclude that the 60-day, 500-dollar limit is unconstitutional insofar as it limits a general-purpose committee, such as TLC-IPA, to funding only $500 in independent expenditures."
     Regarding the 60-day, $500 limit on contributions, Texas cannot justify it as a way to stop circumvention of contribution limits on specific-performance PACs during legislative sessions and judicial elections, according to the ruling.
     The plaintiffs also proved the 60-day, $500 limit facially unconstitutional.
     "Plaintiffs have demonstrated that the 60-day, 500-dollar limit is unconstitutional both when it functions as a limitation on expenditures and when it functions as an aggregate contributions cap," Judge Edith Brown Clement wrote for the court. "As such, the 60-day limit appears to have no legitimate sweep (or at the very least is vastly overbroad). Nor is this a situation where we can rewrite Texas law to conform to constitutional requirements." (Parentheses in original.)
     Regarding the 10-contributor limit on contributions, the appeals court concluded it "does not withstand constitutional scrutiny."
     "Texas does not show that its aggregate contribution cap directly advances the state's interest in combatting quid pro quo corruption 'in any meaningful way,'" the opinion states. "Nor is the provision a sufficiently tailored anticircumvention measure. Texas advances no reason why more narrowly tailored base contribution limits until a committee acquired ten contributors would not similarly serve its interests."
     The 10-contributor limit on expenditures is unconstitutional because it does not promote "a compelling interest and is the least restrictive means to further the articulated interest," Clement added.
     "Texas cannot show the ten-contributor requirement directly combats corruption because independent expenditures do not give rise to corruption or the appearance of corruption," she wrote. "Accordingly, Texas is forced to try to defend the ten-contributor requirement on the basis that it supports Texas's disclosure requirements. But that argument does no better."
     Texas may, however, continue to ban PACs from accepting corporate contributions unless the committee engages only in independent spending.
     The court also upheld a requirement that a PAC must appoint a committee treasurer that registers with the TEC.
     Texas Freedom PAC did not respond to a request for comment.
     Phil Sevilla, president of the Catholic Leadership Coalition of Texas, said in an interview Thursday that the group celebrated the ruling with its attorney. He deemed Texas' restrictions as "onerous."
     "More critical work must be done to ensure our civil liberties as free citizens are protected from the overreaching arms of government bureaucracies," Sevilla said. "It was disconcerting to see a phalanx of state attorneys spend countless hours and resources at taxpayer expense to defend unconstitutional provisions in the Texas Election Code. There are other areas in the code that should be challenged."


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Mark Your Calendars!
Mark your Calendars Portage Lakes Domino's Dough Raising Night for Turkeyfoot! Order pizza from the Portage Lakes Domino's this summer and a portion of your purchase will go towards Turkeyfoot Elementary School! Dough raising nights for 2015 are May 28th, June, 25th, July 30th, August 27th, September 24th, October 29th, and November 25th.
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Coventry student Tanner Hartwig, nominated his bus drivers and attendants for recognition at the Outstanding Students and Educator Awards Recognition luncheon at St. George Fellowship Centre on May 8, 2015. The employees honored are Betty Bounce, Arlene Sheral, Linda Danko, and Theresa Tufuri-Herring (not-pictured).
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Congratulations to Coventry High School Women's Choir, Men's Choir and Chamber Ensemble! All three choirs received Superior "I" ratings at Large Group Contest at Revere on March 13th. The students were very well prepared under the direction of Julie Strebler and each choir sounded amazing! The students left this event feeling excited and proud of themselves. Nice job choirs!
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Predictive Trade Analytics
Helps CPG Align with Retail

By Al Heller

Retailers have consistently charged CPG with too much self-interest, and too little focus on what it takes to build categories and make stores stand out in their pursuit of valuable shopper segments. But with today’s heightened emphasis on trade promotion events, experts say the fast-evolving discipline of predictive trade analytics could shift the emphasis away from CPG to the retailer.

More specifically, predictive and analytical capabilities could bring notable added value to
key accounts at a pivotal time when many are rationalizing SKUs and accruing margins with
a private label emphasis.  By establishing authority in trade events, a CPG company could help protect both the integrity of its promotion plans and its branded shelf presence in
everyday planograms.

Simply put, predictive trade analytics uses data and modeling science to assist in making better decisions around pricing and promotion execution. It enables trading partners to optimize trade funds, simulate events in the planning stage, and use post-event diagnostics to judge effectiveness, impact by shopper segment, and improve ROI.

In a recent webinar co-presented by Armen Najarian, senior director-consumer products industry marketing at DemandTec, and Polly Rowland, the former director of sales strategy
at Kraft Foods, common trade promotions shortfalls that might prompt retailers to push CPG
to acquire this capability were listed: Just 61% of trade promotions generate incremental volume, just 62% are fully implemented at all locations, and promotions raise out-of-stock incidents by 2.3%. Moreover, 16% of trade promotions are unprofitable and nearly 30% of trade funding goes to the retailer’s bottom line (she sourced figures from Trade Promotion Management Association).

With trade spend more than 60% of a CPG company’s marketing budget, “it is hard to find a more significant clear-cut financial opportunity,” said Najarian.

He estimated a $2 billion (annual sales) manufacturer that spends $300 million on trade (15% of sales, close to the national average) could improve trade efficiencies enough to expand gross margin dollars between $6 million and $18 million within six months. He also felt that about 25% of billion-dollar-plus CPG companies “have taken steps or have implemented advanced predictive capabilities around trade.”

To adopt predictive trade analytics is “more of a journey than a destination,” said Najarian, from the point an organization readies itself for new capabilities to address market and customer needs. “It gives better visibility into performance metrics and the ability to say, ‘If I structure price at x and merchandising at x, what would that mean for revenue and profitability.’ It’s good solid business intelligence that needs to be there,” he said.

To advance a CPG company from readiness to full adoption, it takes senior leadership willing to commit to both the monetary investment and organizational change; better-aligned business processes and empowered teams leverage the new capabilities. This happens over a period of months while the company progresses technologically from validating data to periodic price modeling, and then to selling-in retailers that this tool will help to serve them better.

It is often a cross-functional team of Trade Strategy, Sales and related disciplines including Brand Management that effectively spearheads a CPG company’s adoption. As senior leaders project a vision of the future state, this team of power users helps bring that to life by sharing early success stories.

By using the software, Rowland said, CPG account teams can improve their retailer collaborations through:
  • More accurate forecasts
  • Stronger events lineup as weak events get culled
  • Single-number goal shared by both trading partners and all disciplines within CPG, and
  • Cross-functional visibility to the return on investment, explained Rowland.

CPG can acquire predictive trade analytics either as Software-as-a-Service, or hosted on company servers and computers; the latter requires IT involvement and maintenance, added Rowland, noting as well that if a consultancy is hired to support the integration, it should have a strong background in trade analytics and “understand your organizational challenges.”

To determine the suitability of a technology partner, Najarian suggested several questions as thought starters:
  • Is the solution complete?
  • Does it include the ability to manage data?
  • Do you believe in its scientific modeling?
  • Is it delivered Software-as-a-Service, or to be hosted on your servers?
  • What is the providers’ record on delivery excellence?
  • Are there meaningful benefits measurements?
  • Are user-support processes robust enough for your needs?
  • Can the agreement be tailored to your company’s growth plans, objectives                and scalability?
  • Cross-functional visibility to the return on investment, explained Rowland.

Najarian took the webinar audience through examples that illustrate the power of predictive trade analytics. The before: an event was lucrative for CPG, but bad for the retailer because it drove down category dollar sales, equivalized unit volume and retailer profit, and also cannibalized private label sales. The after: the recast event (buy one, get one with display at 60% ACV) was still good for CPG (an 88% lift in promoted product dollar sales), and effective for the category and the retailer too, because it drove 3.1% category sales and profit lift, and only nominally affected private label volume.

Al Heller is co-author, Consumer-Centric Category Management (Nielsen/Wiley), and president, Distinct Communications, LLC.

MARCH 2010

Trade Spending Challenges Smaller CPG Companies

By Dan Alaimo

Although trade promotion spending can be 10-30% of a consumer packaged goods company’s gross sales, few companies – particularly small to midsized manufacturers – know what they are getting for their money.

With consumer preferences shifting to private label, and retailers reacting to this trend with SKU rationalization that cuts out national brands, manufacturers need to catch up with their trade dollars. This means an investment in specialized trade promotion management technology, especially for nearly half of the companies that still rely on Excel spreadsheets to do this increasingly complex job, says Rob Bois, Director of Product Marketing, MEI Computer Technology Group Inc.

Trade spending growth has been flat lately after several years of increases, but it has not decreased, and will start rising again in the near future, Bois emphasizes. “It’s still a huge chunk of money and the biggest challenge that most CPG companies have is managing trade. They don’t know what kind of return they are getting on that investment,” he says.

There is a great deal of data – syndicated, point-of-sale, company sales – but not much of it is available in time to analyze a promotion while it is going on. “It’s very difficult for them to change direction on a promotion mid-stream because they don’t receive accurate real-time feedback on how it is performing. In some cases, they don’t have the right metrics in place to determine the profitability of a promotion,” Bois says.

Meanwhile, the tight economy has given retailers more control in their relationships with suppliers. “Historically, that balance of power between the manufacturer and the retailer has been on a pendulum swing back and forth, but in this kind of economic environment, the pendulum has swung far in the direction of the retailer,” Bois notes. Many CPG companies have reacted by cutting prices, which may increase demand in the short-term, but isn’t a sustainable strategy long-term, he says.

All of these challenges are exacerbated among small to midsized CPG companies, creating an industry of “haves and have-nots,” he says. “First, they have less influence with the retailers because they are not the category captain. Second, they don’t have the same resources available to buy downstream data that they need to help them make better decisions. So it can become a vicious cycle because they don’t have beneficial data and information to go back to the retailer to demonstrate why they should perform another promotion.”

Tracking retail execution is another challenge for the smaller manufacturer. “Small manufacturers don’t have the ‘feet on the street’ or the technology available to them to audit the stores,” Bois says.

If a large retailer takes an unexpected deduction, a smaller manufacturer has to carefully consider what to do. “Often, we hear that if a deduction is under a certain dollar threshold, they might just clear it without investigation because they have bigger fish to fry, or they have to triage where they are going to spend their time and effort,” he notes.

Since they are not category captains, there’s even a fear of damaging the relationship if they do push back, Bois says. “Manufacturers may be more apt to take an unexpected deduction from their biggest retailer because they don’t want to tip the apple cart.”

One big advantage of trade promotion management software, like MEI’s TPM solution, is it provides all departments of a CPG company with the specific information they need, Bois says. A spreadsheet approach can’t do that.

“You have this loop where each part of the organization may have very different goals and metrics they are driving toward, even though there may be a broader goal for the whole company.” Aligning those goals and metrics “is one of the more complex and multidimensional processes within a CPG company today. There are a lot of nuances to it,” Bois notes.

The business processes covered by the TPM solution include:

  • Headquarter Planning  Creating a “top-down” operating plan outlining volume, revenue, trade and profit objectives.
  • Account Planning  Managing the base forecast and creating incremental promotions, while measuring them against key headquarter ratios.
  • Account Execution  Ongoing maintenance of the account plan, allowing updates to forecasts, while tracking actual results.
  • Reconciliation Clearing of deductions, creation of payments and allocation of spending to individual promotions.
  • Analysis Creation and downloading of critical volume, sales, trade and profit reports.

“We basically manage every step of that workflow in a centralized TPM application so that everybody is reading off the same hymn book. They might be viewing and analyzing the data in different ways, but it is a single system of record for all of the company’s promotions,” Bois says.

MEI’s TPM is a hosted product, so there is no software for the customer to install, and a faster learning curve for users. MEI has over 30 clients including: Sunny Delight Beverage’s Co., Kettle Foods, Marcal Manufacturing LLC, Annie’s Homegrown, Pinnacle Foods Group, Morton Salt, and American Pie.

“We also find that most CPG companies don’t buy a TPM system anticipating that they are going to lower trade spending. It happens sometimes. But the reality is, we haven’t seen trade spending levels shift dramatically. They want to make sure that they are spending it much more effectively,” he notes.

For the future, Bois concludes, CPG companies are going to start renewing their emphasis on innovation. In an economic downturn or recession, “once companies realize there’s only so much they can do by slashing their own costs, and then trying to cut costs to their customers, the only way to get out of that vicious cycle is to innovate. I think that it is going to be a combination of product innovation and promotional innovation,” he says.

“Some of them are getting beat up right now, and getting rationalized out of the category, but this is how they can turn it back around and compete more effectively. I don’t know if we are going to see that this year, but it is going to happen in the next couple of years.”

Will CPG Manufacturers Reduce
Brand Promotions, TPRs?

By Al Heller

CPG manufacturers began pumping more dollars into trade events in 2009 to avoid lowering their baseline prices on food products, yet still enable retailers to compete on promoted prices. Now they may be trying to wean off the practice. They wonder if they’ve reached the saturation point on brand promotions, and if they should run fewer or less-deep discounts.

Consider General Mills, one of the CPG leaders that have decided to invest in the non-promoted sales growth of its brands. Jeff Rotsch, executive vice president and head of the worldwide sales organization for General Mills, told Wall Street analysts in a recent conference call that “the company has been able to decrease trade cost per case in each of the past four years. We entered this year with a goal to hold our trade cost per case flat to last year, but…promotional activity has been increasing in the industry.

“As we look out in the second half, we see a few product lines where we’re going to need to increase our merchandising activity in order to protect market share,” he added, according to the transcript posted on Seeking Alpha. “As a result, we now expect our overall trade cost per case will be up modestly over last year, but still will be below rates from two years ago.”

CPG companies have picked a tough time to try to pull money away from trade – witness the General Mills concession regarding trade cost per case. Consumers have switched to lower-priced channels to save, and sometimes switched to alternate lower-priced brands or private label to save further.  This has emboldened retailers to push branded manufacturers into new roles as makers and marketers of the store brands they compete against at the shelf.

Not only do retailers love the high margin percentages on private label, they believe that many of these consumer savings strategies will sustain long after a hoped-for rebound in the economy begins.

Retailers have been aggressively promoting private label brands in this troubled economy to further accentuate the price disparity versus name-brand counterparts. This aggressive promotion has forced name-brand manufacturers to spend more aggressively rather than risk further, and potentially permanent, share loss. Most manufacturers have been forced to reach back into their pockets to give back trade reductions or add to an already growing budget.

“Retailers look at the base and promoted volumes of categories, and the brands within categories. These ratios vary throughout the store,” explained Paul Thompson, managing director, Henry Rak Consulting Partners, a Chicago-based consultancy. “For example, allergy products are high-need when people seek relief, so the category has a high proportion of base sales and is less promotion-sensitive than cereal. If a ratio falls out of line, the retailer can claim ‘your events aren’t effective enough.’”

CPG manufacturers have an opportunity to bundle promotions of their brands more effectively to add greater incrementality – to move more volume and appeal to more consumers, according to Thompson. “Portfolio promotion bundles should be determined by the consumers that each of the brands address [adults, children, health-driven consumers in cereals, for instance], as well as the eating occasions. For example, cereal is a variety-driven category and promotion bundles should appeal to consumers’ variety of needs. When on promotion, people will buy multiple brands to stock in the pantry.”

He contends that manufacturers are trying to find the sweet spot for promotions. “Most manufacturers want to maintain the quality of promotion events – at a reasonable discount to the consumer that conveys value and triggers purchase, but is not so deep as to impair profitability, and not so deep as to train them to only buy at that price point.”

Yet that sweet spot is different for category leaders compared with weaker brands. “It is easier for manufacturers with strong brands to rebalance their marketing mix away from trade promotion spending. Brands that are number one, number two, or lower depend more on promotion because many of them compete more directly with private label or price brands,” Thompson added.

So what should non-leaders do to define the role of trade in supporting their brands?

“CPG manufacturers must determine first if consumers are evaluating their brands against national brands or against private label,” he stated. “They also need to understand how consumers make purchase decisions within their categories. These insights will give them their true competitive frame and help define the brand’s points of leverage in the category.

“If they are up against private label, and they are unable to change their marketplace position to be more equity-driven,” said Thompson, “they have to figure out the critical price gap they need to maintain against private label in order to be competitive, and figure out how they can stay there while maintaining profitability.”

Al Heller is co-author, Consumer-Centric Category Management (Nielsen/Wiley) and president, Distinct Communications, LLC.

Predictive Trade Analytics Helps CPG Align with Retail

Trade Spending Challenges Smaller CPG Companies

Will CPG Manufacturers Reduce Brand Promotions, TPRs?

April 2010
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Cal Poly Pomona

Enrolling in the TSA Program

Six (6) Easy Steps

Step 1

Learn About the Program

What is TSA?

Step 2

Choose Your TSA Company(ies)

Choose the TSA company(ies) to invest with from the Authorized List of TSA Companies. Remember, you may contribute to up to two companies at any one time.

Step 3

Talk to Your Selected TSA Company(ies)

Arrange a meeting (or a phone conference) with your selected TSA investment company(ies) and:

  • Decide how much you want to contribute and the pay period when you want your deductions to begin. The minimum contribution to your TSA account is $15 per month; however, some investment companies may have higher minimums you must meet.
  • Ask the company to perform a maximum contribution calculation to verify that the amount you want to invest does not exceed your maximum annual permissable amounts. You will have to provide certain information to assist them in preparing an accurate calculation. Ask for a copy of that calculation. Complete the Worksheet to Determine Eligibility for 403(b) Contributions Over Annual Limit if you will be contributing over the annual limit; If you like auto calculation version, click here.

Step 4

Enroll/Set Up Your 403(b) Account

Enroll/Set up your qualified 403(b) account with the investment company(ies). Obtain certification from the company(ies) that your account has been established. Choose how you want your savings to be invested.

Step 5

Salary Reducation Agreement Completion

Complete a Salary Reduction Agreement indicating how much you want to save in the TSA program and authorizing the CSU to begin payroll deductions.

Remember the Salary Reduction Agreement must be signed and submitted to Human Resources prior to the date the applicable salary payment is earned (e.g., if the SRA is to be applied to the June pay period’s salary payment on July 1st, it must be signed and submitted to Human Resources by May 31st). This rule applies to new SRAs, SRA changes and cancellations.

The IRS now permits an employee to change his or her Salary Reduction Agreement (SRA) at any time during the year. Because the CSU has a monthly payroll, employees may submit a new SRA each pay period if desired.

Step 6

Submit Your Salary Reduction Agreement to Human Resources

Return the following documents to your Benefits Representative in Human Resources:

  1. Completed Salary Reduction Agreement; and
  2. investment company certification that your qualified 403(b) account has been established.
  3. Worksheet to Determine Eligibility for 403(b) Contributions Over Annual Limit (if applicable).


text:
The Penis Blog

I'm just going to cut to the chase and get this off my shaft. Do you have any idea how hard it is being your penis? I can name 10 times I've saved your ass off the top of my head. Ok, I don't mean to make puns, but this typing thing's still a little new to me. I have to go one key at a time, and the balls keep hitting the space bar.

Usually I'm otherwise engaged while you're at your computer, as evidenced by you, me and MILF Hunter's little wrestling match five minutes ago. Well look who's still standing, and look who's passed the fuck out. Guess I win, huh, bitch?

Also, I love my friction as much as the next guy, but there's a time and a place for it. Say I forced you to walk around all day with a cheese grater attached to your face -- it would hurt, right? So please stop going bare balls! It's killing me. Every time you unzip, my life flashes before my eye. And the jeans ... why don't you just wear concrete underwear?

Is this a straightjacket or a really good way to draw attention to the fact you have genitals?

I heard you tell Caroline that you think going commando is going to decrease my sensitivity which will make us "last longer." Horseshit! We're quick shooters, goddamnit. Embrace this and stop punishing me.

Look, I have to be frank or we'd still be dressing in long sleeve concert T-shirts and banging Sri Lankan exchange students. Let me tell you something: if I never sniff another Sri Lankan bush again, it'll still be too soon.

I've also heard Caroline criticize you for thinking with your "member." Two things on that:

1) I don't want to ever hear that bitch refer to me as a "member." This isn't a Congressional hearing. I'm a dick or a rod. I'm not a fucking "member." If I hear her use that word again, I'll slap her across the fucking mouth.

2) She's damn right I do all the thinking around here!

A hat for you and a hat for me. Sure, the photographer wasn't keen, but I think we worked it.

Wanna know how smart I am? I can already tell you exactly what's going to happen when you wake up. You'll stumble to the bathroom, detach me from your boxers and...

CODE RED! CODE RED! Triple streams! Urine spraying everywhere! Splashing off the walls, drenching the shower curtains! And I won't know if I'm coming or going!

Ok, that pun was intended.

Why couldn't I have just been Brad Pitt's cock? Have you seen that guy? When was the last time you think his dick saw the outside of a vagina?

Look, if you don't start showing me the respect I deserve, I'm staging a revolt. "Hey, what's that poking Janet, the 60-year-old accounting director on the crowded elevator?" It's me motherfucker, 'cause that's how I roll. I've got you by the balls and you know it. Respect my authority.

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Cracked Columnists

6 Reasons We Should Be Way More Scared Of Ants

[Note: I'm going to talk about how much I hate ants for about 2,000 words. I hope you're OK with that.]

If you live in Southern California, you're intimately familiar with the Argentine ant, and if you live in the world, you can probably guess the basics (it's a tiny, dark, bity, little bastard that is largely ant-like in mannerisms and appearance).

Source: Alex Wild Photography.

You see them absolutely everywhere -- all over the state, in the wild and in most apartments -- looking for food and water, hiding in your walls. Most of you probably don't think about ants every day, certainly not as a real threat. I'm here to rectify that. This is a warning.

Fuck ants.

You might be thinking, Hey, no big deal, I'll just step on them, like I do to other things that are smaller than me. They're just ants, like any other ants. But they're not. Argentine ants are special. Special and evil and powerful. They will wait for you to go to sleep, then climb on your face and bite you, (yes, that is a thing they do).They're coming for your family by way of your nightmares and they need to be stopped.

They Don't Belong Here

A lot of people will tell you not to mess with Argentine ants, because they assume, like all insects, AAs keep our delicate ecosystem in check in a variety of world-saving ways. But I won't say that, because I have a library card and my mother didn't drink while she was pregnant with me. While most insects are important to our ecosystem, Argentine ants are far from it. They're just awful bastards and they're worse than mosquitoes. As annoying and malaria-filled as mosquitoes are, we can't get rid of them all, because they provide food for fish, and they also eat up lots of nasty algae and bacteria. They belong in a circle-of-life kind of way, the way that everything belongs.

Except, that is, Argentine ants. As you probably guessed by their name, these buggers are from (and were supposed to stay in) Argentina. Despite that, they're all up in California's shit, as well as the shit of every other continent except Antarctica. They are, first and foremost, invaders, ranked among the 100 worst animal invaders of all time. They're not playing some important positive role in our ecosystem because they don't even belong here, they're just creating a blind trail of destruction and domination.

"Hi, I was exploring your thoughts earlier and I noticed that you're planning on destroying me. I wish you wouldn't think like that."

They used to be part of a functioning ecosystem back in Argentina. According to Elissa Suhr, a doctor in the field of FuckAntsForeverology, "In Argentina ... ant colonies span 10s of meters, are genetically diverse and highly aggressive towards one another, so population numbers never explode and they are no threat to other plants and animals." In Argentina, they were kept in check, like good little shithead bastards, but as soon as they travel out to Australia or California or England or any other damn place, their natural predators are gone and their population blows up. The ants realized that they weren't kings of their domain, so they decided to go find someplace where they could be, like a jaguar that trains itself to fly when it realizes it can't compete with lions for land dominance.

"Oh, wow, this is much easier."

Nature, as she often does, built in a set of checks and balances, but the ants weren't having it. They said, "Check and balance this" and grabbed their stupid ant genitals right in Nature's face.

They're Killing Everything That Does Belong Here

It's not just that they're horrible invaders; they're actually destroying whole civilizations of other creatures. In Australia, they used their numbers and total machine-like dedication to hatred to displace most of the native ants that used to roam around the outback, some of which were 10 times larger than the Argentine ants.

Source: Alex Wild Photography.

Here in California, they're destroying the ecosystem. First, they invaded and either got rid of or assimilated all of the larger, native ants. Horned lizards used to feed on those big ants but, now that they're gone, the horned lizards are dying out and lizard population is down 50 percent in areas where Argentine ants thrive. The lizards simply can't live on a diet that involves Argentine ants. And all of the animals that depended on the horned lizards for survival? They're fucked too.

The ants invaded and caused a ripple effect of destruction. They're the only creatures on the planet benefiting from this destruction, and they reap these benefits as they continue to grow, covering over 500 miles of California. It's not just that they're annoying, and it's not just that they're invaders, but they're actually hurting the global ecosystem of the planet. Why do we not have a branch of the army dedicated to destroying these things?

Our Poisons Are Useless Against Them

Say what you want about poison, but it sure is good at killing things that eat it. Spraying poison is generally the preferred method of pest control and almost always successful, so it makes sense that you'd try it on these tiny, aggravating Argentine ants. Except, unlike most ants, the Argentine type don't die when you spray them with common pesticide. In fact, and I know this is hard to believe, they do the opposite of dying. They live even harder. According to a site that is dedicated solely to killing ants (I love you guys), spraying Argentine ants with pesticides causes them to lay more eggs. The ants are so amused by your futile attempts to destroy them that it's giving them little rock-hard ant boners. It's their way of saying, "You are impotent to destroy us, and we are anything but."

"Look, honey, a roach motel. Finally somewhere we can fuck in private."

As an added you'll-never-defeat-them bonus, while most species of ants have a single queen in a colony, Argentine ants have several. So if you thought taking out the head ant would solve your problems, you're wrong. Another queen will take its place, and then another and another. The ants have already thought of your clever plan. They're way ahead of you, metaphorically speaking, and all around you, literally speaking.

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