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Saturday, August 29, 2015

Hydration: Weirder Hydras

So, other people have been writing about hydras.  Chris McDowell and Dunkey (who is, himself, a kind of hydra) in particular.  I wrote one, too.

20 Hydras (or 1 Chaos Hydra)

You can either run this as 20 different types of hydras, or as a random table for a hypothetical Chaos Hydra that has a bunch of weird heads.

A flailsnail-headed hydra is basically just a flailsnail with head regeneration and without the weird shell effects, but if it's a hammer-headed hydra, that's pretty cool.  Especially if all the heads are slamming down asynchronously.
  1. Bug-eyed, frog tongue.  30' ranged attack roll, target must pass a hard (-4) Str check or be pulled into the mouth for a bite attack.
  2. Rabid and albino. 2-in-6 chance to attack self.  Will attack most wounded heads in an attempt to make more heads (which is what any smart hydra would probably do).
  3. Floating.  Head flies off from body and flies around like a goddam flying crocodile head.
  4. Mosquito head shoots live stirges, which then collect blood and return via its ear.
  5. Featureless nozzle.  Vomits piles of slippery acid, 30' cone, 1d6 damage per turn until washed off, and the acid on the ground functions like grease.
  6. Flailsnail flail.  2d8 damage, -4 to hit.
  7. Emaciated.  Bites for a mere 1d4 damage when attacked, but when severed, it's skin sloughs off and it fights like a giant snake for 3 rounds (screaming) before dissolving into dust (which will also be screaming if you hold it up to your ear).
  8. Telekinetic.  Knows telekinesis and is strong enough to pick up people and fling them against walls.
  9. Monocular.  Antimagic cone in front of head.
  10. Cnidarian Hydra.  Grapples like a black tentacles spell, stings for 1d6 non-lethal damage while held.
  11. Psychovampiric.  Knows vampirokinesis (save or have all of your blood sucked out of you, which then orbits the caster in a bloody halo.  The caster is paralyzed for 2 turns, and if the caster is still alive at the end of that time, the target dies from massive, postponed blood loss, and the caster heals for 2d6+2 HP.)
  12. Mirror-blooded, blue-skinned.  Whenever this head takes damage, half of that damage is mirrored onto the attacker.
  13. Doppleganger.  Shape-shifts its face to resemble a loved one whenever it is attacked.  You must succeed on a successful Charisma check to attack a head (failure indicates hesitation).  And if you actually cut off your mom's head (or whatever) you gain an insanity point.  The hydra is only capable of duplicating one head each time.
  14. Worm.  This head burrows underground and then bursts forward to attack you with only a tiny fraction of a second forewarning, then retreats.  (Usually requires readied actions to hit.)
  15. Uterine.  Launches live human infants at you like a fucking cannon.  Infant has a 10% chance to survive this, and if they survive, they will age 16 years in the first 16 days, and grow up with an irrepressible urge to be dragonslayers.
  16. Ghidorah.  This golden head shoots lightning lasers (1d6 damage, but in a straight line, save for half).  The body also has wings and is capable of flying into space.  It has a second lair on the moon with a second treasure hoard.
  17. Spiral Drill.  On a hit, shield is destroyed if a save is failed.  If no shield, then armor.
  18. Witch-Nymph.  Shrieking and beautiful.  On a hit, target must save vs charm person.  If there are more than one of them, a pair of them can spend a turn tying a knot in one's hair and a player must immediately save or have a limb of the hydra's choice snap.  A successful save indicates that the limb is wrenched and useless for 1d6 rounds.
  19. Hammer.  Spends one turn raising itself up in the air (out of melee range) and then slams down for triple damage on the next turn.
  20. Rapier-tongued.  Sword is sharp and straight like a fencing weapon.  It gets +2 to AC against swords and will duel whichever swordsman looks most proficient, to the exclusion of all others.  If there is no swordsman (or they look incompetent like NPCs) it will attack whoever looks most dangerous.  The hydra is incapable of speech, but if it is insulted wittily (DM's discretion) it will get -2 to attack for a turn.

Inversion Hydra

This is a normal-looking hydra except for the fact that it appears to be monstrously pregnant.  When it is fighting, players can feel themselves being pulled toward it's gravid belly, and call feel the pressure of amniotic fluid on their eardrums.

When the players kill the hydra, they all die and are sucked into the hydra's womb.  They then burst from the womb as an ungodly amalgam of all players (use fusion rules) with 20' necks and a bite attack for 1d6+Str.  The teeth from the severed heads then grow into lizardman warriors (twice as many as players) which try to kill the player-hydra with their own weapons (looted from the bodies).

If all of the skeletons are killed, the player-hydra will split back into it's constituent selves.  Also, they have a copy of their own corpses, which I've learned can be extremely useful.

That's a bit heavy handed, though, so ALTERNATIVELY this could be something like a vampiric hydra that bites people, tasting their blood, and then when the hydra dies, anyone who had their blood drank gets turned into the composite hydra. The hydra tries to taste everyone, of course.

ALTERNATIVELY, try to get player buy-in.  Maybe they need to all impregnate the God Egg on level 5 of the dungeon and be reborn into a glorious new reptilian body in order to access the Plane of Reptiles.  I imagine it just being like a giant, squishy egg cell.  Dudes can probably just ejaculate into it, but girls might have a harder time.  (The egg probably only needs a bit of blood to get going, but if you want to shove menstrual fluid in there, that'll work, too.)

IOUN Hydra

This is a golem-hydra.  Each head is a floating IOUN stone, about the size of your first, disconnected from the body (but incapable of getting more than 20' away).  Each gemstone is unique, and while most are spherical, all heads have different characteristics.  Each head is styled after the shape and pattern of a reptilian predator.  For example, the "viper" head is vaguely triangular and is covered in a pattern reminiscent of snake scales.

It has a spherical body that spins around like a giant top.  It is easy to track because it leaves a divot in the dust.  If it needs to go up stairs, the "heads" will serve double-duty as feet.  If it is killed, it shatters completely and leave 1d3 IOUN stones in the dust.  All of the heads shoot beams.

If a head is shattered, the shards will fall to the ground and begin to regenerate.  They have AC 10 and must take 8 damage from bludgeoning (to smash them to smithereens) and/or fire (to melt them to the floor) before the next turn, or they will regenerate into 2 new IOUN heads.

HD 2 + 2 per head AC plate Attacks (see below)
Move 12 Int 12 Mor 12

  1. "Viper".  Magic stealing beam.  Save or lose your highest level spell.  The Hydra will cast that spell next turn.
  2. "Constrictor". Save or be caught in a psychic vice-grip: immobilized, held 6 inches off the ground, and take increasing damage each round.  (1d6 the first round, 2d6 the second).  Treat this psychic grip as having Str 22.
  3. "Frog". Teleportation to a random room in the dungeon.  (I know frogs aren't reptiles but whatever.)
  4. "Toad". Save or become stricken with Umbral Toad venom.  While so affected, you take 2d6 damage every turn you are awake, but you can fall asleep whenever you wish.
  5. "Caiman".  3d6 damage, and if the target fails a save, they become a magic magnet for 1 round: all spells within 40' are redirected to them as a target.
  6. "Dragon".  Does 3d6 bite damage (this is still a beam of phantasmal dragon jaws) and the target must save vs dragon fear.
  7. "Stegosaur".  Resonant hum.  3d6 sonic damage in a 60' line, save for half.  Targets in metal armor get a penalty to their roll equal to their armor bonus to AC, because their armor functions as a resonant tube.
  8. "Lizard". Target takes 2d6 radiant damage for every eye that they have.
  9. "Ankylosaur".  Target's HP is cut to half of it's current total.  If they succeed on a save, it is cut to 75% of their current total.
  10. "Crocodile".  2d6 damage and the target must save, or their weapon turns into metal dust.  (Note: this stuff is highly explosive when dispersed through the air.)
  11. "Komodo Dragon".  2d6 damage, then save or lose 2d6 Strength.  If you fail this save, it spawns a 1 HD homunculus in an adjacent square that is loyal to you, but completely moronic.
  12. "Ichthyosaur".  Ice beam for 3d6 damage in a line.  Additionally, on the second round of combat, it will begin resonating.  As long as it is resonating, the strongest player (icthyosaur's choice) is reduced to being a copy of the weakest player (icthyosaur's choice).  Treat their stats and abilities as a mirror image.  Everything except for the inventory list, basically.  When the IOUN hydra is killed, the "weakest" player gets a bonus +1000 XP and the "strongest" player loses -1000 XP.

Beholder Hydra

This is a beholder suffering from a horrible skin disease contracted from a Hydrada.  It's central eye has turned into a Sphere of Annihilation, and each of it's minor eyestalks has grown into a biting hydra head.  The eyes cannot fire beams any more--instead, the abilities are activated on a bite.

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Three Hydras

HD 8 AC chain Attacks (1 per head)
Move 12 Int 5 Mor 7
Regenerates 1 body HP per round

Hydradas are just hydras from the Elemental Plane of Hydras.  They are hydras with the hydra-ness turned up to 11.  They usually begin with 3 heads (2 HD each, but AC as plate, because of how quickly they whip around.)  Slashing weapons can sever heads or damage the body; other types of damage can only damage the body.  Head damage is mirrored onto the body.

Each of their bites does 1d6 damage.  If an attack does 5 or 6 damage, the target must save or a hydra head will grow from their wound on the next turn.  The head has a 10' reach, and attacks as a normal hydra would attack, with the same damage and AC.  It can be severed normally (but will regrow into two heads unless the stump is cauterized with fire or acid).  The host gets -2 to attack a hydra head growing out of their own body.  The hydra head preferentially attacks its host (biting them on the face and ears, usually).  If the hydra head reduces its own host to 0 HP, it decapitates the host.  If the host is decapitated and the hydra-head-sprouting-from-the-wound remains, two hydra heads erupt from the stump on the next turn.

Whenever hydrada blood is spilled there is a d% chance (equal to the damage taken) that a hydra head will sprout from whatever surface the blood spills on.  This head has a 20' reach and follows all the normal hydra rules.

Severed heads become 1 HD hydroids after 1 turn.  They have no neck, and can be killed like any other little critter.  However, unless they take fire or acid damage, they will regenerate to 1 HP

Whoever kills the hydra is afflicted by the hydra's death curse: all creatures will appear to be hydras for the rest of the day.  All speech sounds like hissing.  All written text appears as "hydra hydra hydra" etc.  No save.

Zoo Hydra
HD 1-20 AC chain Attacks (1 per head)
Move 12 Int 5 Mor 7

A zoo hydra is created whenever some really weird shit happens at the zoo.  The heads will regrow in 1 round unless salt or urine is applied to the stump.  It has one head for every HD.

Heads [d20, or just go down the list]

1. Crocodile - Bite 1d10, but with a -2 to hit.

2. Fox - Bite 1d4.  Every 2 turns, reroll a d20 that someone else rolls.

3. Lion - Bite 1d8.

4. Howler Monkey - Howls.  Every turn, has a 10% chance of attracting a new random encounter.

5. Giraffe - Smashes for 1d6.  Ridiculous 30' reach.

6. Wolf Skull With Glowing Red Eyes - Bites for 1d6.  Can reanimate dead things as loyal zombies, 1/turn.

7. Komodo Dragon - Bites for 1d6 + disease.

8. Emu - Pecks for 1d4.  Easy to sever: neck only has 1 HP.

9. Bird of Paradise (the flower) - Can cast cure light wounds at will.

10. Ibis - Peck 1d4.  Save or lose an eye.

11. Gorilla Hand - Attempts to steal your weapon and hit you with it.  Str 16, Dex 12.

12. Rhino - Gores for 1d10 damage.  On a miss, there is a 2-in-6 chance that the rhino horn gets stuck in something, trapping the rhino head there for 1 turn.

13. Elephant - Gores for 1d12.  Never forgets.  (Attacks whoever attacks it first, and never changes targets.)

14. Shark - Bites for 1d8.  If the attack roll is 1-3, it attacks another head instead.  If the other head is a carnivore, the two heads will start fighting, only stopping when one head is bitten off.  (This causes two heads to grow, as normal.)

15. Sloth - Stays asleep until it takes damage, at which point it wakes up and starts biting for 1d4.

16. Viper - Bite 1 damage, save or take 3d6 more over 3 turns.

17. Penguin - Peck 1d4, Every 3 turns, breath a cone of frozen air, 3d6, 20' cone.

18. Zookeeper - Does nothing except scream about emus and madness, begs to be killed, yells at players to bring salt.

19. Cage - On a hit, traps a player inside.  On subsequent turns, beats "head" against ground, dealing 1d6 damage to occupant automatically.  Made of solid metal, but the lock can be picked as normal (usually requires one round to climb on it, and another to pick it, retrys allowed).

20. Dolphin - Doesn't want to fight.  It will just make stupid dolphin noises all fight.  If it is the only head remaining on the body (i.e. it is a dolphydra) it will run away.  It's also tamable, if you have fish.

Barnyard Chimera
HD 7 AC leather Attacks (see below)
Move 15 Int 3 Mor 7

The central cow head gores for 1d8 damage.

The left pig head bites for 1d6.

The right goat head rams for 1d4, but does 3x damage on a charge.

The goose-headed tail spits goose shit (ranged attack).  On a hit, the target is blinded until they spend a turn wiping it away.

When killed, the barnyard chimera splits open and spills out 3d6 featherless, bloody chickens with red eyes and sharp talons.  The chicken have HD 1, AC leather, and claw for 1d4.

It runs on horse legs.  It can speak, but it is only repeating mindless farming phrases.  "How about that weather, huh?"  "Well, let's finish up and then have supper."  "Aw hell, she's coming out breach."

False Hydra
is not a hydra, but is listed on this page for the sake of completeness.

by joe on Dungeons and Drawings

Friday, August 14, 2015

New Class: Really Good Dog

So, here's my dog class.

I'm still thinking about class duets--two players that play closely linked characters.  In this case, a PC and their loyal dog.  It's more one-sided than the Brute/Rider classes I posted earlier, since all of the duet abilities are piled onto the dog.

Here are all of the class abilities.

by Sandara
Really Good Dog

You're a Dog
You can't hold things in your hands. You can't climb ropes or ladders. Your Movement is 15 (Human Movement is 12). Your bite attack counts as either a dagger, sword, or greatsword (your choice, each bite). You do not start with any items. You can follow (most) scents, and recognize scents you've encountered before.  You can understand the words of your fellow PCs and those that your fellow PCs are talking to (via body cues and doggy intuition), but if you are interacting with NPCs alone, you are pretty clueless.  You understand Common, but cannot speak it.  You speak Canine fluently.

You're an amazingly intelligent dog: roll Int normally, but be aware that this is doggy Intelligence, and isn't suitable for all things.  For example, you can spot a trap, count coins, or remember a location you haven't been to in years.  However, you can never solve linguistic puzzles or use tools, because smart dogs aren't smart in that way.

Best Friend
Pick a best friend. You both get +1 Defense and +1 Save when fighting beside each other. This designation is permanent (until story/DM say otherwise).  If your Best Friend dies, you can pick a new one after playing 1 full session as a sad, sad dog.

Best Friends Fight As One!
If you and your Best Friend attack the same enemy simultaneously, and both attacks hit, the enemy takes an additional +1d6 damage.

Best Friends Never Give Up!
If your Best Friend is ever at 0 HP, you can lick their face to restore 1d6+1 HP.  If your Best Friend is ever paralyzed, mind-controlled, raging, or otherwise out of control, you can lick/bite them (whichever is more appropriate) to give them a new save against the effect.  Only works on things that allow saves in the first place.

When you wag your tail, you cast a version of charm person that only works on children and +Luka Rejec.

While unarmored and able to defend yourself, you get a bonus to your AC equal to your level, to a maximum of +6.

Scent the Ineffable
As detect poison, detect evil, detect magic, or detect undead except you cannot decipher magic items and the range is limited to 1', except for detect undead where the range is 30'.

Dog Quest
At a certain point, you will attract the attention of the Dog Barons.  They will give you a quest to prove your doggishness.  Example quests include killing a Cat Prince (rakshasa) who is hiding in town somewhere, digging into a forgotten barrow and returning with the femur from the wight king who was buried there, or rescuing some asshole prince who fell down a well in orcish territory.  (This will probably involve the other PCs chasing after you shouting "Where are you going, boy?  Come back!")

If you refuse or fail this quest, you will be shunned by the Dog Clans of the cities.  If you succeed, you will win allies among the Dog Clans, and can call on their help in the cities.  Examples of help: gossip, relaying messages, safe houses, and in certain circumstances--a whole pack of mangy street dogs who will fight for you.

An enemy who can hear you must Save vs Fear or be unable to attack or approach you until your next turn. Doesn't work if you are running away, restrained, or non-threatening.  Doesn't work on things with 2 or more HD than you.

Sniff the Air
10 in-game minutes before the DM rolls for wandering monsters, he also rolls for wandering scents.  The DM rolls on the wandering monster table and describes what one of the monsters smells like.  If you've encountered that type of monster before, you can identify it.  (Communicating the information, however, might be tricky.)

When you bite an opponent no larger than a human, you can make a trip maneuver for free.

Talking Dog
Through magic or mutation, you can now talk.

Epic Nose
You can track anything that passed through here in the last 100 years without error, as long as you know what it smells like.

by Ben Wootten
Playing A Really Good Dog in Your Home Game

Honestly, not being able to communicate effectively, use tools, or even climb a fucking ladder are pretty big disadvantages in my book.  So, I recommend basing the Really Good Dog on a fighter, minus any special fightery abilities (like Parry or Cleave).

Then add this stuff.

Level 1 - You're a Dog, Best Friend, Wag, Dodge
Level 2 - Sniff the Air, Best Friends Fight As One!
Level 3 - Scent the Ineffable, Dog Quest
Level 4 -Takedown, Best Friends Never Give Up!
Level 5 - Talking Dog OR Epic Nose

Also, ask your DM if you can roll up a weird dog from Zak's Table of Weird Dogs.

from Dragon Age
Playing a Really Good Dog in Centerra

You're probably a Brynthic Hound, one of the immortal warrior-dogs that get passed down through generations of warrior-families like heirloom swords.

Wednesday, August 12, 2015

New Classes: Brute Rider and Rideable Brute

This is another brainstorming session.

I'm trying to invent paired classes: two players choose two characters that have highly complimentary abilities.  Or even co-dependent abilities.

from Bioshock
Rideable Brute

Even even level, increase the damage you deal with non-magical 2-handed weapons by +1.  Except for magic hammers.  You can still use magic hammers and get the bonus.

Double your HP.  Double your rate of non-magical healing.  You cannot wear armor.  You get -2 AC.

Whenever you kill something with a blunt weapon, you can make a free attack roll against a target within 30'.  Note that you aren't cutting two people in half with one swing, you're smacking goblins into goblins, or knocking a orc's head across the room like a fanged golfball.  Usable only 1/round.

Whenever you shove or trip someone in combat, your Rider (if any) gets a free attack roll against them.

Extra Carrying Capacity
Treat your Strength as 4 points higher when calculating carrying capacity.

Party Crasher
Whenever you initiate combat by breaking down a door and barging into a room, you reduce all damage you take by 3 for one turn, and your Brute Rider can make a free attack.

Dramatic Exit
This is the equivalent of Gandalf and the Balrog falling off the bridge together.  At the end of a charge, you can make an opposed Str check against a target instead of an attack roll.  If you succeed, you grapple the target and charge offstage.  The target dies 90% of the time; the other 10% of the time it returns later on to piss you off.  You remain offstage until your Rider whistles you back (see below).  If you have a rider, they are forced to hop off or suffer the same 90% die chance.  You can only use this ability when there is a place to dramatically charge to, such as a deep pit, a dark and stormy sea, or a green devil face.

by Wildweasel339
Brute Rider

Dramatic Whistle
When you whistle, your a Rideable Brute who is offstage (from using Dramatic Exit) has a 50% chance to return in an equally dramatic fashion (usually busting through the wall).  You can use this whistle once every 10 minutes, but never in the same room twice.  This provokes a random encounter check as usual for noise--but if this whistle results in both the Brute and a random encounter happening, both of those parties bust into the room already mid-combat (and probably with the brute trying to ride the elephant-snake or something).

Knee Chokehold
If you successfully pin a target, you can climb up on their shoulders and wrap your legs around their neck.  In this position, you can instantly choke them unconscious or even kill them.  You can do these things even as a reaction, when it's not your turn, fast enough to interrupt another person's action.  You usually use this ability to coerce unwilling creatures into being your mount.

Motivate the Brute
Whenever you are riding a Rideable Brute and get a critical hit with a weapon, your brute immediately gets an extra attack (but not any movement).

Instead of rolling to save against an AoE effect, you can instead choose to avoid it all together, by jumping 1d4 * 10' in a random direction.

Fancy Rider
When you are riding something and wearing a fancy hat, you get an additional +1 to hit and AC (in addition to the +1 to hit and AC you normally get for riding on a tall steed).  Remember that you cannot attack people on the ground with short weapons (like daggers).

If your Rideable Brute (or other ogre-sized thing) throws you, you travel up to 50' and take no collision damage if you successfully hit your target, or alternatively, make a Dexterity check.  If you hit a target at the end of this, you can add the Rideable Brute's Str bonus to the damage.  Treat this as a charge (among other things, you deal double damage with a lance).

Magic Drugs
Once per day, you can give some drugs.  Target must be willing, or you must be able to stuff drugs up their nose somehow.  You can use this ability an additional time every odd level (so 2/day at level 3, etc).

List of Magic Drugs

1. Rouse - Wakes a sleeping person and makes them immune to sleep for 24 hours.  They still become exhausted as usual, though.  Dying creatures also stabilize and wake up.

2. Rage - Identical to a barbarians rage.  (You probably have your own ruleset, but I like +2 to hit, +2 to damage, immune to fear and pain, cannot do anything defensive or tactical, and cannot stop raging until all enemies are defeated.)

3. Opiate - Target gets +1d8 temporary HP.  The next day, their maximum HP is decreased by the same amount, to a minimum of 1.

4. Bath Salts - Target becomes immune to emotions.  The first time they take damage while in this state, there is a 1-in-6 chance that they fly into a rage (see above) except that they'll attack a random person in front of them and try to eat their face.  (People riding on their back don't count.)  Regardless, this effect ends after 1d6 minutes.

5. Amphetamines - Target increases their movement by +6 for 10 minutes.  (So a human could run as fast as a horse.)  Afterwards, they get -6 movement for 1 hour.  (So a human's speed would be halved.)

by Casey Parkhurst

Well, I like the flavor.

Huge HP, super-shitty AC is fun.  I've played with a similar rule for my homebrew barbarians (I call it loincloth HP) and so far it hasn't pissed me off you.

The Brute's abilities all point to a very specific playstyle: kick down the door, start shoving people, and then tackle people off a cliff.  I worry that it might be too restrictive, but hopefully, the people who play this class desire exactly that type of play.

The Rider's abilities are a little less cohesive.  Carry a spiral lance, shove drugs down the nose of your Brutesteed, and prepare to get thrown now and then.  The Knee Chokehold isn't mechanically very impressive (it's just putting a gun to someone's head and telling them to carry you around and do what you say), but spelling it out like that reinforces the option enough that players might see that as a first resort, which is potentially cool.

The most interesting ability on this page, though, is the Dramatic Whistle / Dramatic Exit pairing.  It sort of plays around with the idea that there is a place called "offstage" (something shared with my doppleganger class).  Yes, gamist.  Yes, storygamey.  But it looks hella fun (Blarguntharg tackled the illithid into the bottomless pit; we're done here but we need to wander around the dungeon looking for him and whistling.) and I don't think it's OP, given how restrictive it is.  (How many mechanics require a bottomless pit to be nearby?)

by Matt Kohr
Using This Stuff In Your Game

Oh, jeez.

Base it on the cleric's numbers, but drop the clericish abilities.  Then they get abilities at these levels:

Rideable Brute
Level 1 - Meatbag, Mosh, Extra Carrying Capacity
Level 2 - Brutish
Level 3 - Party Crasher
Level 4 - Cleave??
Level 5 - Dramatic Exit

Brute Rider
Level 1- Eject, Magic Drugs, Fancy Rider
Level 2 - Motivate the Brute
Level 3 - Knee Chokehold
Level 4 - Throwable
Level 5 - Dramatic Whistle

That arrangement ensures that they both get a cooperative ability every other level.

Yes, the classic one is a goblin riding an ogre.  But why not a little girl riding a pygmy dragon?  Or a mosquito man riding his enormous wife?  Or a mutant baby riding a giant mutant baby?  Season to taste.
by Pabelbilly

Player-Player Bonds

So a lot of games establish player bonds during character creation.

"You once fought along side the person to your left."

"You have sworn to protect the person on your right."

Et cetera.  And that's a pretty cool idea.  But. . . it's possible for that sweet backstory to drop into the background.  Players and DMs might easily forget that Alice swore to protect Bob.

Hopefully, if those bonds are represented mechanically, they'll be more in the forefront of everyone's mind.  For example, if two member of your adventuring party are ex-husband and ex-wife, they might share a Vendetta, and be paying very close attention to each other's turns, because the Vendetta ability triggers whenever the other person fumbles.

big barda by Mike Hawthorne
Player-Player Bonds

1. Battle Brothers/Sisters - Years spent fighting together.
You each get +1 to hit as long as you attack the same target as your battle brother/sister simultaneously.

2. Destined Twins - You share everything.
Your HP is pooled and shared between the two of you.  Any negative physical effect that happens to one of you happens to the other, including death and or maiming.  (e.g. sympathetic limp if the other one loses a leg, nausea if the other one throws up, etc.)  This also works well for conjoined twin characters.

3. Favored Son or Daughter - You adventure alongside your offspring.
Your favored son or daughter must be lower level than you (and therefore, probably created after you).  They must also be the same race and class.  As long as you begin each session asking them "So what have we learned from all this?" they gain XP 10% faster, and whenever you assist them, you can double your bonuses you add to their attempt.

4. Friendship - Merry and Pippin.
You each get +4 to save vs fear when fighting beside each other.

5. Love - Shouldering one another's burdens.
When the object of your love would be hit in combat, you can take the blow instead.  This doubles the damage that the attack does.  Only works if you are adjacent to the target.

6. Master or Mistress - You have a servant or a slave.
Whenever you would take damage that would drop you to 0 HP or less, you can shove your servant in the way instead, as long as they are adjacent to you.  You take no damage, and your servant takes twice as much damage as you would have taken.

7. Multiple Personalities - A person of two minds.
This isn't really a player bond, it's more of a metagame mechanic.  Two players play this character, so if player A isn't there, player B plays that character.  If both players are there, treat the character as if they were 1 level higher.  If there is disagreement of what to do, flip a coin to determine who the dominant soul is.  This dominant soul cannot be challenged for 30 minutes of game time.

8. Protected - People are guarding you with their life.
If you take no damage during an entire gameplay session, everyone gets +10% xp. If you die, everyone gets half xp this session.

9. Rivalry - Striving to outdo one another.
When your rival gets a critical success, you get +4 on your next roll of the same type and crit on a 19-20, as long as it's made quickly.  You don't necessarily want them to fail, you just want to outdo them.

10. Servant or Slave - You have a master or mistress.
If your master spends their entire action giving you a command, you immediately get a free action to carry it out. (Hopefully this leads to lots of "Iago, slay this villanous goblin!"  "Yes, master!  I attack the goblin!") You must succeed on a Charisma check to disobey your master, or lie to them.  (You should also decide if you love your master or hate them.)

11. Sworn to Protect - Bound by honor.
If you are standing adjacent to the person you are sworn to protect, you can take hits for them.  Whenever they would take damage from a melee attack, you can roll an attack roll against the monster who damaged them.  If you succeed, the protected person takes no damage, and you instead take twice as much damage as they would have taken.

12. Vendetta - Filled with schadenfreude.
Whenever the target of your hate critically fumbles a roll, you get a +4 on the first roll you make next turn, and critical on a 19-20.  The other person doesn't have to be a hated enemy.  They could just be a cleric from another religion, or your ex.

How to Implement These?

I don't fuckin know.  Maybe at character creation, players who agree to a bond start with -1000xp for every bond or something.  This doesn't de-level them down to level 0, it just delays how long it takes for them to reach level 2.

These Aren't Balanced!

I know.  This was more of a brainstorming session, actually.

by Abigail Larson

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Some Dragons

HD 12 AC plate Attacks 1d8/1d8/2d8
Move 15 Fly 24 Int 12 Mor 9

Terrifying - NPCs must make a morale check when first engaging a dragon.  PCs must make a save vs fear (1d6 rounds) the first time the dragon attacks them, and each time a PC is killed dead.  PCs who have killed a dragon get +4 to save against dragon fear (cumulative per dragon killed, until immune).  They also get to write "DRAGONSLAYER" on their character sheet.

Fire Breath - Usable every 1d4 rounds.  6d6 fire, 60' cone, save for half.  If you have a shield, save to avoid all damage.

Reprisal 2 - Up to twice per round, make a 1d8 melee attack against an opponent after they make an melee attack against you.

Mettle 2 - Twice per day, reroll a failed save.  It cannot use this ability when below half health.  It cannot use this ability against ice effects, or things that target dragons specifically.

I usually run low-level games, so I imagine this dragon being appropriate for a level 3-5 party.

So, I've been thinking about the same things that +Gus L was thinking about when he wrote his post about making big boss beasts more resilient against the usual PC tactic of surrounding them with NPCs and winning simple because they get 12 attacks vs the dragon's 3.

Fear is a good way to keep the mooks off the dragon.  You might bring six mercenaries, but 4 of them lose their nerve as soon as they see how big the damn thing is.

And an AoE attack is also a good cure for the swarm tactics.  True, there are arrows and other ranged attacks, but if the party has enough room to shoot arrows, they're probably outdoors, and if they're outdoors, the dragon can just drop boulders on them, do strafing runs of fire breath, etc.  I'm not too worried about a dragon outdoors.

Reprisal is yet another countermeasure against swarm tactics, and another way to punish people who want to get into melee with a dragon.  That's like a rabbit wanting to get into melee with a wolf.

And lastly, Mettle provides some insulation against save-or-die effects.  There's still a chance you can baleful polymorph the dragon into a snail on the first turn, but it's much smaller.  Allowing certain abilities to pierce Mettle means that prepared parties aren't screwed.  And lastly, the fact that Mettle vanishes once the dragon is below half health, means that players might want to start throwing save-or-die effects once the dragon is bloodied.  If they've gotten the dragon to half health, they've earned it.

The biggest downside to Mettle is that it's largely a gamist mechanic.  Sure, you can pass it off as "legendary willpower" or something, but it's not intuitive.  Honestly, once the party got into combat with the dragon, I'd probably just read them the text from Mettle so they know how it works.

Further re dragons:

Of course, the best counter for player-level plotting is intelligence.

Dragons are smart enough to beat a tactical retreat when they get surrounded.  If they retreat deeper into their lair (flying down the vertical abyss) you can rest assured that the dragon has an excellent ambush spot prepared up ahead.  Perhaps they attack after loosing some rolling boulders.  Or when the party is crossing a narrow span, single-file.

And if a dragon is forced to retreat outside of its lair, that's not a problem either.  They'll ambush the party when they attempt to leave the lair, performing strafing runs as their breath attack refreshes, careful to stay out of arrow range.  Or, they'll block off the dungeon with boulders, and return after hunger and thirst have weakened the party.

Dragons rarely live alone.  They have a mate and some whelps, or they surround themselves with servants: kobolds, goblins, or humans who benefit from the dragon cult.

Centerra only has one race of dragons (no stupid spectrum of rainbow powers) but it does have a lot of unique, singular dragons.  Most dragons out in the wilderness are one-of-a-kind.

Man Dragon

It looks like a human, bent, stretched, and warped by biomancy into a mockery of a dragon, imitating their size and shape.

It does not have Terrify or Fire Breath.

Horrify - Like Terrify, except that previous experience against dragons is no help, and targets that fail their save lose their next turn as they vomit noisily and gain 2 trauma points.

Shockwave Shout - Usable every 1d4 rounds.  60' cone, 3d6 damage and knocks targets back to the range of the cone, where they land prone.  If they collide with a solid object, they take 1d6 damage for every 10' more they would have traveled.  Save negates initial damage, but not the knockback, unless they are holding on to something solid.

Origami Dragon

It does not have Fire Breath.  Instead of bypassing Mettle with ice, it is bypassed with fire.

Origami Breath - Usable every 1d4 rounds.  2d6 slashing, 60' cone, save for half. Covers entire area in caltrops.

Made of Paper - Double damage from slashing or fire, triple damage from piercing.

Pinata Dragon

The Pinata dragon is summoned by ringing the fiesta bell on level 4 of the luchador's dungeon.  The longer it exists, the more treasure you get when it is defeated.  However, the older it is, the more dangerous it is.

Lacks Fire Breath and is not Terrifying.  Is weak to fire, not ice, similar to the origami dragon.

Party Breath - Usable every 1d4 rounds.  Deals 1d6 slashing damage for every 2 HD of the dragon, generates an equal number of gemstones worth 100gp each.

  • HD = number of rounds it has existed.  Max 12.  On round 12+1d4, the dragon vanishes.
  • Damage = d4s for HD 1-3, d6s for HD 4-7, and d8s for HD 8+
  • Regenerates 3 HP per turn.
  • Takes half damage from non-bludgeoning weapons.  Resists magic 5% per HD.

Sludge Dragon

Lacks Fire Breath.  It cannot fly.

Sticky - Anyone hitting it with a melee weapon must succeed on a Str check or the weapon remains embedded in the dragon.

Sludge Bomb - Usable once every 1d4 rounds.  Bursts like a fireball with a 20' radius, 200' range.  Targets take 3d6 damage and are covered with acidic sludge that deals 1d6 damage and slowing targets (half speed, -2 to hit) until they are washed off with water.  If they are struck a second time, they are immobilized.  A save halves the initial damage and avoids being covered in acidic sludge.

the horror that is the MAN DRAGON

Monday, August 10, 2015

Thungrum (Elephant Ogres)

Illustrated by the excellent +Luka Rejec
What panache!  (Both artist and art.)
HD 6 AC plate Claws 1d12/1d12
Move 18 Int 8 Mor 8

Incredible Leaping Ability - 40' standing horizontal, 20' vertical.

Void Adapted - Can survive happily in a vacuum.  Can hold breath for 2 hours.

Maim - Any slashing attack that does at least 6 points of damage severs a random limb.  If this is an arm, it loses one of its attacks.  If it is a leg, it's speed is cut in half.  This provokes a morale check.  Severed limbs can be re-attached in a single round, but are not regenerated.

Wants to kill people, organize items, and wear hats.

Fights by intelligently but extremely aggressively, tearing off arms, breaking jaws in half with both hands.

They look like blue-skinned ogres with deformed, vaguely-elephantine heads.  They behave as beasts, except that they wear clothing.  They are fond of wide-brimmed hats and long cloaks.  They are vegetarians.

They live in caves, thickets, and abandoned places.  They do not use weapons.  They do not speak or respond to speech.  They ignore animals, but kill every sentient creature they come across, and bury them in straight lines after stripping them all all equipment and clothing.

Each thungrum keeps an inventoried hoard of stolen items, always immaculately organized.  Items are sorted by size, color, and purpose.  They are deaf, but have a keen sense of smell.  They have good eyesight, but do not close their red-rimmed eyes until they are dead.

Ogres know and fear them.

The Madness of the Thungrum (roll when first encountered) [d10]
1. Elaborate pantomime of surprise before attacking.
2. Will keep its distance, throwing pebbles.  It will attack one round later.
3. Will charge through the party before returning 2 rounds later to attack.
4. Appears in front of the party to stare at them.  Prepares an action to leap at and attack the first person to do anything at all.
5. Attempts to join the party, usually walking at the end of the column.  Attacks as as soon as it is noticed.
6. Surprise attack!  Sudden, horrible death.
7. Party is unnoticed.  Thungrum is staring at the sun.
8. Party is unnoticed.  Thungrum is lying on the bottom of a stream, breathing through its long nose.
9. Party is unnoticed.  Thungrum is in its lair, noisily arranging its collection.
10. Party is unnoticed.  Thungrum is burying people it has killed, kissing each one.

Hoard of the Thungrum (roll 1d6 twice, then 1d20 twice)
1. 2d6 pairs of shoes, each worth 5gp.
2. 1d6 chests of silverware, each worth 20gp
3. 1d20 fancy hats, each worth 10gp.
4. 1d6 suits of medium armor, each one different and worth 50gp.
5. 1d6 barrels of trade goods.  Beer, silk, or spices.  Each worth 50gp.
6. 1d100 copper coins, 1d100 silver coins, and 1d100 gold coins.
7. Suit of ceremonial platemail with a rooster theme.
8. An entire wagon, entirely dismantled and sorted by size.
9. 1d1000 golden coins arranged by condition.
10. A spellbook with 1d4+1 spells, each page unbound and framed.
11. 2d6 books, arranged by color.
12. A full set of furniture (bed, table, sink, bath tub) adorns the cave.
13. 2d6 half-feral cats.
14. 2d6 weapons, arranged by color.  5-in-6 one is masterwork, 1-in-6 it is magic instead.
15. 2d6 paintings.  (Note to self: write a painting generator.)
16. 2d6 women's dresses, arranged by length.
17. In dozens of alcoves, the sorted pieces of a dozen clocks.
18. 3d6 differently colored liquids, each in a vial.  1 is poison, 1d6 are potions.
19. laser pistol (3d6 damage, 1d6 charges left)
20. 2d6 cloaks, 1-in-6 that one of them is a Cloak of the Thungur (huge leaps, but you are unable to do any action except attack something directly or remove the cloak)

DM Secret: Thungrum are ogroids engineered for space combat.  When they arrive on Centerra (by one method or another) the nitrogen-rich atmosphere drives them insane.  Somewhere in the back of each Thungrum's brain, there is an intelligent, noble warrior struggling to communicate.

Saturday, August 8, 2015

The Bestiary

I've only included the monsters that are interesting and/or non-trivial.  Some of them are inside PDFs, so you'll have to go through the PDFs to find them.

Aside from that, this is a complete index of all the monsters I've ever posted.  It's from all 3 of my settings (Centerra, Eldritch Americana, and Synthexia).  Mostly Centerra, though.  Nearly all of them have stats, but not all.

I'll update this list as I add more beasties.

Nymph drawn by my sister!  Check out her Tumblr!
Last update: 3/2/17.

Total Count: ~270.

Adventuring Party, Rival - Five examples.
Alabaster Homunculi - Like marble statues that abduct you.
Alabaster Hound of Yog - Amnesia-inducing, hairless hounds.  (Book of Tigers PDF)
Amberino - Tiny electrical buddies for fulgarite elementals. (Book of Mice PDF)
   - Chorus - Swarming spirits of the unborn.
   - Messenger - Baby-faced cherubs with magic arrows that are depressing to kill.
   - Preacher - Winning hearts and minds.
   - Sentinel - Too beautiful to wound, these angels brand targets with the "enemy of heaven" rune.
   - Wheel - Strange, judgemental creatures with a martyr-maker mechanic.
Animated Barrel - Fond of swallowing people and then rolling down stairs.
Animals, Mundane - They aren't as mundane as you think.
   - Cats - See also: catbooks.
   - Chickens - Powerful tools of divination if raised to adulthood without their heads.
   - Cows - Have an affinity for the moon.  See also: spherical cows.
   - Dogs - They serve the dog barons.
   - Foxes - Imaginary creatures.  They don't exist in Centerra.
   - Goats - The only true innocents.
   - Hippos - Fat.
   - Horses - Can carry you into other planes if you get them drunk enough.
   - Panthers - Speak all languages.  Evil, honorable, merciless.
   - Pigs - Never stop growing.
   - Rats - Quintessential dwarven foodstuff.
   - Roosters - Heralds of disaster.
   - Snakes - The most holy of animals, especially blue ones.
   - Songbirds - Can catch lost souls.  Servants of the Simurgh.
   - Tigers - Always return as ghosts.
   - Wolves - Become worgs by eating sentient creatures.
Ant, Giant - Includes rules for infiltrating their nest (the only way to make giant ants interesting).
Anomalocaris - Giant predatory shrimp.
Antediluvian Crocodilian - Slouching crocodile born from your own genome.  (Book of Mice PDF)
Assassin's Guild - Basically 20 superheros that bad folks will hire to kill your PCs.
Astral Peacock - Spread feathers force your soul from your body.  (Meal of Oshregaal PDF)
Awakened, The - Who have realized the unspeakable truth about the universe.  And an adventure.
Bandits - NPCs murderhobos.  HD 1, AC leather, sword, bow.
Barnacle Man - Heavy-shelled jerks who live in sea-caves and weaponize sea fauna.
Barnyard Chimera - Cow + pig + goat, with a goose tail.
Berserker, Asthmatic - Furious berserkers for a few rounds, then they slow down.
Berserker - Crush!  Kill!  Destroy!  They come in many different flavors.
Beast of Four Sorrows - Melancholy beasts formed from four tragic souls.  (Book of Tigers PDF)
Black Wind Tree - Carnivorous tree with mutagenic fruit that controls air. (Meal of Oshregaal PDF)
Blobbins - Blue, boneless goblins who live in jars that they haunt after death.
Blue Breath Devils - Exiles from the planet's inner sun.  Smoke creatures that haunt your lungs.
Bomba Bird - Degenerate phoenixes.
Bone Needle Man - Skull-rattling doom skeletons that tap into the Edgeless Sharp (Book of Mice PDF)
Bringers of the Dawn - Formerly Heralds of Immaculate Morning. Cult of the Good.
   - High Priests - Peaceful killers, not too different from normal clerics.
Bugbear - Young, stealthy ogres.  Kidnappers who fear the wooden swords of children.
Cannon Lizard - Drags a cannon ball in its tail, which it is capable of firing, then re-swallowing.
Cave Clam - Immobile, bubble-spitting maws filled with flying suicide drones.
Cave Cricket - Bite grants infravision, but also light blindness.
Chelinausca - Centipede people.  Masters of the morlocks and rightful rulers of the surface world.
Cloud of Ill Omen - Wisp replacement.  An asshole cloud that follows you.
Craniac + Ixian Jumping Spiders - Flying heads that barf out spiders.
Crawling Giant - Despondent giants that crawl through the earth.
Cumulonictus - Jellyfish the size of a cloud.  Floats in the clouds, plucking up prey.  (Book of Tigers PDF)
Cyclops - Since they can see their own death, the best way to defeat them is to do something completely unexpected.
Daisy Sharks - Related to mosquito larva, adjacent dirt has the consistency of water.
   - Bone - Rude demons whose poison causes all of your bones to fuse together.
   - Gas - Swallow hope and fart insanity.
   - Lemure - You don't roll to see how much damage you do, you roll to see how many you kill.
   - Tongue - Size-changing demons that replace your tongue with their bodies.
Devil - These are just demons who have sworn the Oaths.  See Demon, above.
Dog, Gun - Exactly what it says on the tin.
Dragoneater - Dire mongooses that excel at killing dragons.
Droggins - Beware the shambledrakes!  Avoid the goblin wyrms!  As pathetic as they are deadly!
Druhok -  The women are mute women, the men are incomprehensibly virile goat people.
Dungeon Barnacle - The only monster in this bestiary with a hooked penis attack.
Dungeon Bug - Tiny pests that can cause people to behave as if they were bugs as well.
Dungeon Dryad - Keeper of the subterranean grove.  Includes stats for dungeon plants.
Egg Bearer - Gelatinous tiger with weaponized dreams and an egg inside their body.
Egg of Kioz - Floating metal eggs with time powers and a weaponized youth beam.
Ego Sprite - Figments of your imagination that thrive on popularity.
Elemental -
   - Beer - Drunkeness incarnate, it barfs and sometime falls over for no reason.
   - Fire - Explodes when killed.  Requires fuel.
   - Fulgarite - Lightningstruck fused-sand elementals with suicidal tendencies. (Book of Mice PDF)
   - Laser - Move tremendously fast and fire many lasers.
Eternal Slug - Zone of slow and swallow attack.
Ettin - Ogres with indigestion.
   - Candy - Turn your horrible old weapons into sugar.
   - Flower - Turn your boring old food into flowers.
   - Gem - Turn your shiny gold into awesome glitter.
   - Ice - Turn all of dangerous flammables into lovely toys.
   - Tooth - Can steal the teeth right out of your head.
False Star - Pseudostars that abduct people.
Feral Infants - Sufferers of Feral Infant Syndrome.  You can't just kill them; they're babies!
Flesh Cube - 8' cube of flesh that shouts "cube" and tramples people.
Flying Clobstrok - Face-grabbing, cliff-jumping crab-spiders. (Book of Mice PDF)
Flying Flechettia Swarm - Flying flowers that drop like weighted arrows.  (Book of Mice PDF)
Flying Snail - Antigravitic shells.  Their poison stings take effect later, and all at once.
Fragrant Mother - Huge carnivorous plant with a charming scent an internal dungeon.
Froglock - A former wizard being consumed by a parasitic spell, as they turn froggy.
Frothmonger - Some poor bastard colonized by sentient yeast.
Fungal Angels/Demons - Haters of symmetry.
Fyrinx - Lobsters that live in your stomach and stab your organs if you don't obey them.  (I should merge these with jelly-johns. . .)
Gelatinous Cube - Actually just a subunit of a much greater whole.
Gengrigar - Rubbery purple ogres who troll the people they come across.
Ghoul - Corpulent, lively, jocular ex-humans who devour the dead.
   - Half-ghoul - People in the middle of the process of becoming a ghoul.
Ghoul Bear - Shuffling, carnivorous, raggy bears with paralytic breath.
Giant, Fungal - Spore-laden suicidal giants full of overheard sentience.
Glommerwhist - Hair spiders. (Book of Mice PDF)
Golem, Coral - Paralytic fists.  AC crumbles away as it takes damage.
Golem, Plague - Looks like a clay golem, but it hides a diseased corpse best left entombed.
Goontha - Buffalo merchants with strange destinations.
Gore Police - Produce impossible levels of gore and gain abilities as they take damage.
Green Slime - According to my calculations, these are the best rules for green slime.
Gremlins - Wisp replacement.  They follow you, stealing and sabotaging, until you feed them milk and blood.
Gretchling - The mascot of this site!  Degenerate goblins with super-cowardice.  (Book of Mice PDF)
Gretchling v2 - Newer!  Worse!  Brilliant!
Gretchling Stiltwalker - Status in gretchling society is determined by height.  Casters.
Grinna - Skull-faced apes.  Kinda lame, really.
Grue - Dire moles infested by shadows.  Banished by even the smallest amount of light.
Guino - Skin-weasels that fuse themselves with your body and shit out babies.
Gurgan - Disgusting, pathetic things that sling curses.  Better avoided than fought.
Hag - Ogrish casters with subtle powers.
Hagula - Hagfish people that drink blood, masters of freak bioscience.
Hallucigenia - Needle-legged weirdos who try to kill you in your dreams if you kill them.
Helican - Dire pelican what swallows every'un.
Hippo, Demon- Actually a tardigrade.
Homemade Unicorns - "Unicorns" made through the vivisection of stolen children.
Hoplick - Flailing plant-beast with extreme bitterness.
Horse, Gobblehorse - Headless, vomiting leftover from the process of unicorn manufacture.
Horse, Slitherhoof - Boneless, sucking leftover from the process of unicorn manufacture.
Hum Sloth - While humming, everyone takes damage for every 10' they move.
Hungry Coffin - Flying metal coffins full of surprises, like an evil, hungry pinata.
Hungering Shadows - Lame.  Don't click this one.
   - Beholder Hydra - Exactly what it sounds like.
   - Chaos Hydra - Dis one got a bunch of weird ass heads.
   - False Hydra - Grow out of the sewers and eat people.  They live in our blindspaces.  Popular!
   - Hydrada - An infectious variant.  Heads grow everywhere, not just from stumps.
   - Inverted Hydra - NOW YOU ARE THE HYDRA
   - IOUN Hydra - Postmodern.
   - Zoo Hydra - Saved you a trip to San Diego.
Indescribable Leviathan - Giant monster that literally defies description.  (Book of Tigers PDF)
Inexorable Beast - Returns when killed with new powers and counters.
Intellect Devourer - Body snatchers with diverse cultures.
Intellect Devourer, Giant Mutant - Prevent both characters and players from using big words.
Ishi-Mishi-Manafa - Pink, spring-dwelling monkeys that win protectors through charm.  (Book of Mice PDF)
Jabberwocky - The Questing Beast.  An entire quest from a single wandering monster check.
Jiragula - Neon eels that sometimes become invincible, fly, and scream. (Book of Mice PDF)
Knight of Kel Dravonis - Flesh-crafting death knights that compete for the weirdest steed.
Lake Drake - Degenerate dragons that can fly directly from the water.
Lantern Ghost - Wisp replacement.  Leads you to both danger and treasure.
Lethlygon - Flying snake that shoots purple lightning and makes powermen.
Manticore - Hateful old monstermen who eat the things they hate, which is everything.
Mayfly Sprite - Curse-flinging fey that only live for one day.  (Book of Mice PDF)
Meat Man - Created by unlucky castings of stone to flesh on statues.  Causes obesity on a hit.
Mermaid - They want to gossip and eat manflesh.
Meteor Eater - It's a flying meteor that hungers for the calcium in your bones.
Microbasilisk Handlers - The tiniest of basilisks, weaponized and held.
Monkeyrat - Most of the temperate cities used to have rats.
Moonchild - Screams razors, but takes damage from your gaze.
   Granger - Subterranean humans bred to be mounts.
   Killian - Subterranean humans bred for servitude. Lavish and loving.
   Squealer -  Juvenile morlocks who run for help.
   Stygian - Psychics who can see through walls.
   Varicose - Small, climbing, murderous, stabby little bastards.
Mossman - Lumpy ex-humans who can join together and separate freely.
Mudman - Gooey bastards that have a suicide attack.
Mutant Dinosaur Generator - Generates mutant dinosaur.
Noxenswine - Necromantic pig balloons filled with poisonous gases.
Nymphs - They attack the plot, not your HP.  The risk is love, not death.
Nymph, Graveyard - Lovers of death.  Decent people.
Octaro - One of eight corporeal "people" (tentacles) of an extradimensional beast.
Ogre - Stolen children, abused and streeeeetched into monsters by hags.
Ogre, Headless - We knew it was going to end up this way.
Ogre Mage - Ogrish casters with ostentatious spells.
   - Alchemical - Has the powers of two random potions.
   - Amberoid - Electric ooze.
   - Black Pudding - There's technically only one; it's all connected.  The Melancholy Organ.
   - Faffernacky Pudding - Delicious.
   - Flying Fusion - Eats people, then fuses them into servants for itself.
   - Shell Jelly - Has a shell.  Breaks your back.
   - Velvet Ooze - Used for orgies.  Mostly harmless.
Opabinia - Flying threats that bite, run away, then return for a second bite.
   - Nobody - They don't really exist.  Malware running on your perception.
   - Unspeakable - Don't talk about them.  One of the best things I've written.
Owl - False birds from the moon.  They ride wicker golems.
Owlbear - They throw themselves from trees during full moons and hock up bone-laden pellets.
Persuadable Maggot - Giant maggot made from rotten meat by villagers.  (Book of Mice PDF)
Prism Wizard - Wizard with different powers depending what colors you're wearing.
Popkin - Mustachioed rabbits that explode when killed.  Glamour pets.  (Book of Mice PDF)
Powerman - Level 1 fighter possessed by invincible lightning-warrior spirit from a past age.
Pseudo-Imaginary Dinosaur - Phantasms that rely on being perceived to exist.
   - Antagonistic - Hyperadactive shape-shifting jelly.  (Book of Mice PDF)
   - Atavistic - Fires devolution beams & prevents characters from making smart good.
   - Chaotic - Chaos incarnate.  Roll on a d20 table each turn to see what it does.
   - Retributive - Hyperadaptive attack-shifting jelly.
Quantum Ogre - Splits into two identical ogres whenever it takes damage.
Quillypig - Giant porcupines who teleport spines into their targets.
Revenant, Biomantic - Normal-ish dudes who explode into 4 monsters (muscle, skeleton, skin, ghost) when killed.
Rompers - Giant otters.  A Centerran staple.
Royal Cannibals - Subterranean ex-royals with the biology and society of ants.
Sandman - Regenerate on sandy surfaces, save vs sleep if you kill them.
Saprocyte Surfaces - The floors and walls will drink your blood if you stop moving.
Sarcosyrinx - Flying gulp-eels who are more invisible the better you know them.  (Book of Tigers PDF)
Serpicant - The King of Beasts.  Heaven separated it into a snake and a lion, it was so deadly.
Shade - Undead who wreathes your vision and memories in shadows.  Darkvision is a bad idea.
Shadow - Two dimensional creepers.
Shadow Puppet - Just a pile of angry meat, puppetted by the shadows on the floor around it.
Shadow Child - Shadow archers who pin your shadow to the floor and devour it.
Siege Monkey - Huge things like stegosaurs that throw stones with their tails.
Sinister Folk - Eerie fey than can only be seen in your left eye.
Skeleton Hero - Four arms, four scimitars, and a counterattack if you miss him.
Skeleton Jelly - Shitty skeleton-dude who is immune to damage.
Slaad - Protofrogs made of inchaote possibility.
Slime, Catapult - Normally standard ooze that throws chunks of itself.
Slime, Faffernacky - Supernaturally delicious ooze compels you to eat it.
Sludge Vampires - Intelligent, blood-draining, skin-wearing oozes.
Songful Bagman - Sac-like eyeball bastards who lure birds into their stomach through song.  (Book of Mice PDF)
Sonic Reverberators - Conehead slaves from the vats with sonic attacks.
Spazbat - Twitchy teleporting bat that drinks your blood by teleporting it into its stomach.
Steeds - Orns, Witch Weasels, Bottled Steeds, Faerie Horses, and Jellybears.
Stirge - Flying, flaccid bloodsuckers.  Includes rules for dungeon honey.
Succubus - Ancestral ghost determined to spread the semen of a living relative.
Super Ultra Mega Men - Like Superman, but contagious and unable to stop fighting things.
Swampy Knockers - Bog followers that don't attack you, but still make everything worse.
Swerda - Sword-headed people.  Actually just swords that control decapitated corpses.  Popular!
Tardigrade, Dire - Marrow-sucking monstrosities that haunt the riverways.
Terophidian - If I ever write a Centerra bestiary, this guy is going on the cover.
Thungrum - Mad "elephant ogres" who have fallen from space.  Sad, violent, deranged.
Time Tortoise - They'd be easy to kill if they didn't have a super-powered version of time stop.
Toadiathans - Suck dragons of the swamp.  Mortal enemies of froghemoths.
Tortoise Tsar - Despotic dungeon kings and quest givers.
Tree, Hateful - Average tree that hates you.  Wants to pick you up and break your back.
Tree, Irritable - Tree that drops a branch or two on you.  Why did I stat it up?
Trilobite - Crawling biters that carrying a disease that turns you into a trilobite.
   - Green - Rubbery, regenerating bastards.  Full write-up.
   - Longtail - Become as weak as a child if their tail is grabbed.  Full write-up.
   - Rock - Petrified by light.  Full write-up.
   - Rock, Elder (Galeb Duhr) - Can animate boulders.  Full write-up.
Tubular Peacock - Nozzle-headed slug-birds that sometimes barf green slime.
Tumble Melon Tree - Melon-lobbing trees that rely on you eating their healing fruit.
Tunnel Snake - Burrowing cave snakes with death breath.  (Book of Mice PDF)
Turbo Grub - Cross between a rot grub and that rabbit from Monty Python.
Tuskman - Chaos viking with walrus tusks and other mutations.
Undermen - Blind cavemen who can turn invisible.  Decent folk.
Undead Vikings - Exactly that.
Unicorn Addict - Pacifistic weirdos who have eaten too much unicorn dung.
Ungreya - Fetal tyrants.  To be born is to die, and become a non-citizen.  One of my favorites.
Vampire - Pathetic victims of a disease.
Vargouilles - My version is better.  Corpse puppeters that freak out the hirelings.
Vector Skeleton - Wireframe creatures that frequently glitch out.
Verminators - Stinking worm-men that are so disgusting, they cause PCs to quit the dungeon.
Volguloi - This is what happens when worms eat wizard brains.
Wicked Jelly-John - Alien rat-things that want you to eat them.  (Book of Mice PDF)
Wicker Golems - Owl steeds.
Wind - The four winds are all devout attendees of church, except for the South Wind.
Wise Parasites - Prophetic insects that parasitize dust drakes.
Witch's Laundry - Animated attack clothing that animates the clothing you are wearing.
Wiwaxia - Prehistoric spine chucker.  Like a wyverns tail that crawls.
Wizlocks - Degenerate wizard-gnomes.
   - Bolgen - Size-changing tapeworms.  (Book of Tigers PDF)
   - Corpsegrinder - Barf acid and bones.  Hunger for undead.  Purple worm replacement.
   - Fangolian Ear - Learn their name and they'll grow in your brain.  (Book of Mice PDF)
   - Labial - Wall-bursting blood-kissers.
Yoblins - Filthy, fungal goblins with a strange life cycle.
Zondervoze - Supersentient creature made up of unwitting, normal humans.  A zeitgeist.


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Women's basketball defeats Thomas

WATERVILLE, Maine -- The Colby College women's basketball team had a balanced scoring night, led by first-year Ainsley Burns (pictured) , in a 73-46 victory over Thomas College on Tuesday night.

The Mules (2-1 overall) received 13 points, four rebounds, and three assists from Burns. Sophomore Katie McCrum added 10 points, four boards, and four assists. Paige Russell, another first-year player, had 10 points, four rebounds, and three assists.

The Mules shot 50 percent (29-for-58) from the field, 52.6 percent from 3-point range (10-for-19), had a 39-29 rebounding advantage, and had assists on 22 of their 29 field goals.

Colby also received eight points, a game-high eight rebounds, and four assists from Haley Driscoll, while Caitlyn Nolan and Sarah Hancock both had six points and two assists. Cameron Kelso, MK Caverly, and Jackie Albanese all had five points.

Abby Nielsen finished with a game-high 16 points to lead Thomas. Jordan Turner finished with eight points and five assists, while Amira Jones had eight points.

Caverly named All-NESCAC
March 1, 2017 Caverly named All-NESCAC
Women's basketball falls
January 28, 2017 Women's basketball falls
Women's basketball falls
December 3, 2016 Women's basketball falls

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Monday, October 29, 2007

Ode to Grits

I have something terrible to admit... The first time I tasted grits, I thought it was AWFUL.
I was traveling in the south (well, duh!) with the Company, and we were in some strange little dark restaurant and this pile of something white & squishy arrived on my plate. It was NASTY. Runny, but lumpy. Tasteless, yet peppery. Yuck. I never wanted to try it again.

Until lately. My mom just got on this kick of buying Albers grits and making them for her evening snack. (She's diabetic. She's REQUIRED to have some little something before she goes to bed or else her blood sugar drops to around 50 or so. Very bad.) Apparently, she grew up eating them, even though she's from New Mexico. Go figure. I grew up with her cooking for us and I NEVER remember her making us grits.

So, I tasted her grits. And it was good. Huh. What do you know? It had more to do with the cook in that funky little restaurant. It wasn't the actual food item. And I've discovered I like grits with tons of margarine and salt. And I like grits with a little bit of milk and strawberry jam. Isn't that weird. The chick from Alaska/Oregon/California/Washington likes grits.

Ode to Grits
I like grits
Squishy, Deli-shie
Yummy, and creamy
Made of corn
And mixed with salt
Add some milk
Mix it a lot
Scoop it up
Stir it up
Eat it up
I like grits
They're warm in my tum!

1 comment:

The Renzntzman said...

I love grits! Being from the south, they are a staple in my diet. I put cheese in 'em or mix 'em up with my eggs. Good stuff!


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Sunday, March 20, 2016

Family Time

I was so tired yesterday, I failed to say where we were staying.  In Peculiar Missouri there is one RV Park called Peculiar Park Place.  There are many monthly or long-term stay RVs, but they are all in good condition, many with underpinning to keep them from freezing during the cold winters.  There are 14 sites in the back which do not have water year around, and don’t have sewer.  This is where we were, but that is good because it is further away from the noise of the Interstate.

1b    1c

It is a nice park, and if I was to have business in the KC area, I would probably stay here…except my Aunt and cousins are in Blue Springs.  Since my son is in Overland Park, Kansas, this was a good place to stay, and kept us from having to drive through heavy KC traffic when we leave on Monday.

Vera, Ryan (my son), Donald, Marcia's hands     Cassie, Rick is hiding behind Casey, Sheri and Vera

Around noon we headed over to my Aunt Vera’s house in Blue Springs.  She married my mother’s brother, Harold, who passed away 14 years ago.  Her son (my cousin) Donald, who is my age, and his wife Sheri were visiting from California (along with one daughter, son-in-law and three grandkids).  Her oldest daughter, Cassie and her husband Rick, were there, but they also live in Blue Springs.  Vera’s oldest child, David, has a daughter who lives in Independence, and this was the first time I had met her, or second if I met her when she was a young child.  David is my oldest brother Jim’s age, and that was the name mom and dad were going to give him until Vera named her first child David, who was born just a few months before Jim.  So “I” got the name David three children later.

We took some indoor Tulips over, and came back home with some freshly baked bread that Cassie had made…she learned from the expert, her father, who was a master bread maker…as is she.  In fact, former KC Chief’s running back Kimble Anders lived just a few houses away from Harold and Vera, and every time he scored in a game, Harold would take freshly baked bread over to them.

We now have 1,200 miles to go to get to Phoenix by Wednesday.  Not sure how far we will get tomorrow, but hope to make it at least to the Texas/Kansas boarder…perhaps as far as Tucumcari, New Mexico.  Either way, Monday and Tuesday will be long travel days, with a shorter day on Wednesday.  I just hope we don’t have any more  new weather events, because we have faced humid warmth in Florida, rain in Alabama, Mississippi and Arkansas, hail in Arkansas, and sustained wind and cold in Missouri.  Although it did not snow where we are, it did snow in parts of Blue Springs Saturday night.  Outside of “heat”, about the only new weather left are fog, tornadoes and hurricanes…none of which sounds very good to us.  Winking smile

  1. You guys go fast! Hope you have good weather for the rest of your trip.
    We did stop at Little Aleinn last night. Had burgers and fries and spent the night in their lot. We asked our friendly but rather ditzy waitress about your brother, Roger. She said that he wasn't working that day, that he was working somewhere else. They were pretty busy so we didn't take it any further.
    That's a really out of the way place!

    1. Yes, he has a full-time job in Sacramento...I guess his wife was not there either. Yes, it is a strange place, amazing how many people go through, stop, eat, even get a place to sleep. I wouldn't mind having those dollar bills hanging over the bar though.... :)

      Yes, we are in super travel more day of it (Tuesday) and then much shorter days after that until we get to Sacramento.

  2. I'm so happy that you got time with family! You are truly blessed...

    1. Family time is always nice to have...

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Golf in South Asia

The course is drastically different to Chung Shan as the property was more promising. The front nine is over hilly terrain while most of the back nine fits snugly into a valley. Immense palm trees frame the course and provide a most attractive back drop.

The green size of the Legends course is small by any standard, averaging just over 6000sq. feet. The greens appear even smaller, considering that the course plays to 7,000 yards from the middle-back tees and the golfer is often approaching the greens with a mid-iron in his hands.

The Nicklaus team devised two alternate route holes at the Legends course, the 6th and 18th holes. The 6th hole is a reachable par five that falls some 120 feet downhill from the tee shot. Thereafter, it is the mirror image to the 11th hole at TPC in Florida. The green is placed on the other side (the right hand side) of two big lakes. There is 100 yards of fairway area that runs uninterrupted up to the front of the green. The golfer must make a choice on his second shot: can he go for the green? If not, can he clear the lake on his second and leave himself a simple pitch looking down the length of the green, or is the golfer content to bump the ball further up his side of the fairway and cross the lake on his third shot? If he chooses the latter option, the green is at a shallow angle to the golfer and he must contend with two green side bunkers.

The second alternative route hole is the 18th. The fairway is a massive 120 yards across but at the 200 yard mark, a series of bunkers cut across the fairway from the right hand side of the fairway and run 50 yards up the right third of the fairway. Thus, the golfer must choose: does he carry them and aim for the right hand side of the fairway, thus gaining the shorter route home on this 440 yard finisher? Or does he play safely to the left and leave himself a three wood approach shot?

These two holes give the golfer much to think about and are thus favorites. However, they are complimented by several even more dramatic holes. The 11th hole features a tee shot some 100 feet above a lake that runs the entire length of the hole on the left side. The golfer must decide how much of the lake to bite off with his tee shot. The reward is a much shorter approach shot, which on a hole of 430 yards with trouble by the green is a considerable advantage. The 13th hole is a par five that features a river running down the left side of the fairway. As the fairway cascades downhill, so does the river. It flows over a series of tiered rock formations, thus creating several water falls.

These two holes in appearance give the impression of paradise. On the 11th tee, the golfer has a beautiful view down through the valley with the manicured course complimented by well tended indigenous plants and trees. The waterfalls and their sounds further this impression of a Shangri-La.

While these and several other holes such as the sweeping down and uphill par five 3rd and the 5th hole have obvious dramatic appeal, it is the well designed nature of the ‘sleeper’ holes that hold the course together and make it the best course in Malaysia.

For instance, the 2nd hole is a 375 yard hole. A fairway bunker intrudes from the right hand side at the 230 yard mark off the tee. The green is further ahead some 145 yards and is well bunkered down its entire left side. Only the golfer who challenges the right hand bunker will have an uninterrupted shot into the green. The less confident golfer can steer clear of the fairway bunker. In fact, Nicklaus left fairway to the right of the green so the golfer’s approach shot can go right of the green and well away from the deep green side bunkers. Few people will successfully get it up and down from over there as there is a tricky knob to contend with but a bogey can be readily achieved by any caliber player.

Most of the other holes follow this same design philosophy. The better player is always looking to gain an advantage with each shot while the lesser golfer bumbles along in a happy state too. What more can you ask for in a design?

The third Nicklaus course that the authors are familiar with in South Asia is the Nicklaus Sea View Course, located on the Indonesian island of Bintan. The most popular method of arrival is a 45 minute ferry from Singapore.

The course serves to demonstrate the Nicklaus design style compared to another designer who built a course at a similar time at Bintan Lagoon Golf and Beach Resort. The land on this other course was similarly rolling and tree-lined. However, this other course features several sloping fairways that leave the golfer feeling like a goat. The 4th hole, for instance, has a fairway that is pitched at a 30 degree angle (no exaggeration) and has a 100 foot tall tree fifteen paces off the front of the green (?!).

Compare this kind of poor design to the next door Nicklaus course. Nicklaus Design moves enough land to insure the fairways are a reasonable target and, of course with Nicklaus, a good view of the green is provided. However, by moving the land in such a fashion, there is a trade-off that is both good and bad.

At Bintan, the golfer is always greeted by a level stance in the fairway – this holds obvious appeal to the resort guests and their wives. Thus, each hole on the Bintan course is solid. However, the golfer may sense with a slight tinge of regret that the course is indeed too solid, too straightforward (an Indonesian version of Royal Birkdale perhaps?). There is no quirkiness to the holes that make the golfer execute an out of the ordinary shot. Indeed, the professional at Bintan likes playing the other course because of the challenge presented by the variety of lies and stances.

For its inspiration, the Sea View course relies on its tropical setting, no small thing. It does touch the South China Sea with the beautiful par three 12th hole. Also, the 13th hole is a short par four that features a green spilt in two by a stream (believe it or not, it works in this case).

Taken as a group of three courses, the purist may perhaps complain of too little short game variety. Other than a splash shot from a deep green side bunker, there are few other imaginative or ticklish shots that the golfer must continually face. One reason is that the grass used in this kind of heat and humidity rarely allows the greens to consistently roll more than an ‘8’ on the Stimpmeter. However, given the coarse texture of the bermuda grass, it is surely prudent to build more contouring into the greens to lend interest to the short game (a good example of this is found at The Governors Club, a Nicklaus course outside Chapel Hill, North Carolina).

Nonetheless, the three courses are well built and are fundamentally sound. Good stout hitting is a must for the golfer who hopes to play near his handicap – there is not one cheap hole among the entire 54 holes, which is an accomplishment in itself. The Chung Shan and Legend courses in particular inspire. As Peter Dobenrinier once put it, all three courses ‘make the golfer happy to be alive’.

Shallow bunkers, bland routing, and the general lack of strategy found on many Asian courses no longer suffice: they are an insult to the golfer and in many cases, a waste of what was promising golf terrain. Golfers in this beautiful part of the world deserve better and Nicklaus Design is delivering it.

The End