Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm  Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines  I'm terribly concerned about my memory, but for the life of me I can't  remember why  The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese  I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met  I intend to live forever - so far, so good  If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of  Televangelists: The professional wrestlers of religion  When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane  Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark  Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy  Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder  We all have a photographic memory.
Some of us have just run out of film  OK, so what's the speed of dark?
Black holes are where God divided by zero

One-liners