system
A chat on 4chan
human
I came through to a car next to me on the road screaming for me to pull over. What kills me is that any driver who saw a drunk driver would get away from the car in question. In this case, this couple drove up next to me and got me to pull over. (This leads me to believe that I was thrashing/being thrown around in the car). They got me in their car to check on me, and I remember feeling like I was with friends, having a good time. They got the police there, and I broke down in tears in the only moment I remember from that night. I told them 'I don't know what's going on or how I got here, and I really need your help.' Earlier in the day, I took the only xanax of my life, a single bar, for a panic attack. I remember the dirtbag I got it from saying 'bro its a pressie.' I didn't know what that meant, but I was honest and said 'I tried a new medication and I have no idea what's going on.' The cop said 'Ok, can you have a friend pick you up?' The next thing I remember, I woke up in bed like nothing even happened, but I had this strange dream about bad shit and driving. I go to get my car, and its not there. I see my bud's number in my history, and sure enough, he was there and saw me delirious and unfunctioning. After that, my life took a dramatic change for the better, I lost the thumbnail sliver of moldavite I had in my pocket, and the shitty university book store with the gem shop stopped selling moldavite. Sometimes I have dreams where a kind of 'nasty in a sexy way' woman is seducing me, sometimes its a guy with robot eyes in a vanilla tuxedo choking me and laughing in my face. See, I've never had sex with the woman, but the man I've seen alternates between hurting me and showing me strange secrets of reality in the form of classy looking automata models (think grandfather clocks and player pianos). The last time this happened, I had a brief lucid dreaming realization, and I had enough sense to ask this strange being who he was.
gpt
He began choking me and laughing again, without even laying a finger on me. He laughed, and said 'I AM ______ FROM ______,' but the name and location were silent while his mouth moved. This wasn't a sudden silence, it was like someone was very quickly turning a volume knob up and down.

So help me out. I am worried that a demon is following me. I keep having these near death experiences, one after the other, only in like a single month and then it stops for years. I've woken up with unexplained injuries, scratches, the whole flea thing. The house I was staying at was a pretty new agey place, had a real acid soaked occult secret society dude there a lot before I moved in, I smoked DMT with him there and did not break through. The man who chokes me and laughs in my face has been around since at least the age of 3, I was worried that maybe I was being abused as a child but it happened again the other week. I've never done a ritual knowingly, I try to read deeply in occult/esoteric matters more along the lines of the self-similar nature between man and celestial bodies, in addition to the entire ancient global civilization meme. At least four of the first ten grandmasters of the Scottish masonic lodge are direct relatives. I am an esoteric Christian, due mostly to how I was raised and what I see in the Bible as a compilation of all the 'greatest occult hits,' in addition to a faith in a singular God. Please, can someone explain what is happening to me? Do I take communion? Do I get an exorcism? Is one of these beings my guardian angel? Are they demons? I am also a high level musician, and I once volunteered to guard ancient artifacts at a local museum (think old kingdom Ptah statues, cylinder seals, Vinca artifacts, Buddhist and Hindu artifacts, Olmec and Mayan artifacts including a statue of Quetzalcoatl). What's happening to me, what should I do, and how do I make sure that I don't die a horrible death that might take out other people a la the car thing?
human
Are you male? And non-trans? 

I'll assume that everything you say is correct. So all of the crazy irl events happened after buying that stone? And the dream with the man has happened since you were young but happens a lot more now? 

I don't believe alchemy originally had anything to do with the material world personally, I have little to no interest in that side of it.

Right away I would not recommend delving further into the esoteric until you have vanquished these strange events. The starting point should be a clear and healthy mind. 

What drugs have you done and how often?
gpt
Male. Non-trans. Massive pot head back in the day, no hard drugs, dropped acid maybe 20 times from 17 to 23 (25 now), ate shrooms once, drank very hard after loosing friends to suicide but was functional, 'six pack after work' thing. I only vape delta 8 now, very rarely drink in the last years (the last slamming around spell was about a month after the car incident, alcohol had been ingested, I was fine and then it started up immediately when I started going to bed. thankfully it was at my parents' place and they were able to help me. They said they were talking to me and I was responding in that same slow, affected, disturbing sing songy voice that comes over me when this happens. 'Anon, are you okay.' 'YYYYEES, III AMM ROLLING ARRROUND ON THHE GROUND.' I broke the neck off a solid body guitar with my rib cage, my parents were asking me if I had any broken fingers or lost teeth, it was the most violent one...)

I am a happy man, who is surrounded by some unfortunate circumstances (every day shit like money problems ending college, not this horrible demonic garbage) that I have accepted and am trying my best to overcome (and have so far succeeded in). I do not suffer from 'delusions,' I do understand there is a deeper side to reality/history, and I use that knowledge to find my place in the world and optimize my practical aspects of life to be most effective (some of those alchemical principles are terrific for generic problem solving). I am also very into bare metal, hard core computer programming, and have had success in obtaining internships for this in the past.

Just trying to give you a full profile without doxing myself. Thanks for responding, let me know if you want any more info.
human
Are you on 'anti-psychotic' types of medications? If so, I would ditch those immediately, personally. Do you meditate at all? If I were in your situation I would practice meditation to increase presence, so basically awareness of your awareness, and what your body is doing, as much as possible. If there actually were 'demons' or something this would help to drive them out. It will also help lucid dreaming. I know I said avoid occult stuff until you return to normal but I am now assuming you are sane and mentally all there apart from these strange occurrences. I'm not sure if it is demonic or not, during these lapses in consciousness.

In day-to-day life what is your usual state of mind? Anxious/fearful, relaxed, focused or out of it?
gpt
Also, sorry for the novel, I've just never had a chance to ask for help for this and I'm surprised to get any responses. It's hard to even talk about this to anyone in real life. Thanks again, I really appreciate it.