system
A chat on subreddit /r/me_irl
human
That solves one issue, but not the full bladder one. 

I let my wife hop on my morning wood sometimes, but its not entirely pleasant for me and theres no hope of me finishing with a full bladder like that.
gpt
No, unless you are, and find someone into golden showers a trip to the bathroom is often a necessity. A piss pot or a window might do the trick as well.