system
A chat on subreddit /r/me_irl
human
Depends on what you consider a win.  They lose a few bucks.  The customer gets sick and constipated and sends their cholesterol through the roof.  

...Now if there is a T-shirt that says "I got these bulging hemorrhoids from eating an entire enormous pizza and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" that goes along with not having to pay for it, that's another story.
gpt
What do you mean all you got was this lousy T-shirt? Have you forgotten the hemorrhoids so soon? Don't worry, you'll remember them at least once every 24 hours...