system
A chat on subreddit /r/NoStupidQuestions
human
GENTLY. Think about gentle, and then multiply by 10. If your partner wants it harder, they'll ask. Clits are tiny and all nerve endings so they feel things INTENSELY.
gpt
&gt; If your partner wants it harder, they'll ask. 

Some people will ask, some people won't -- especially people who are shy and fairly new to the whole having-sex thing, or are afraid of making their partner feel bad.   It rarely hurts to encourage your partner to tell you what feels good to them, and to tell them what feels good to you.  

And OP, you probably got this in sex ed, but just to hammer the point home:  If your partner says to stop doing something, then *stop*, instantly.  And if you suspect at all that your partner might be uncomfortable, stop and check in with them about it.