system
A chat on subreddit /r/NoStupidQuestions
human
This sounds more like women perpetuating toxic masculinity rather than toxic femininity. The idea that a man should be shamed for making less than his wife is a patriarchal idea. Still wrong to do of course.
gpt
Just call it toxic at that point, if both sides think it's okay (it's not) then it's no longer a gendered issue and now an issue for all to fix.