system
A chat on 4chan
human
SAVE IT QUICK
gpt
I want my civil rights back from the mindraping cult that targeted me for 'lying' about sex! I wasn't lying, assholes! I was telling the truth as a child who learned early that complaining about sex was forbidden!

I had a cybersexual threesome with a married couple that I met in the Vanilla Club on FurryMUCK when I was using a fake ID to access that server. I was using a female otter avatar and they were using canine ones. I complained that imagining oral from a canine seemed slobbery, and they HATED me for that.

It was one of my early encounters when the fake-ID account was new. I wasn't supposed to complain, so in that and other encounters, I was trained to 'love' what I went through. I was always supposed to be grateful. I did my best, but it was awful! I never got over being stressed to hell and feeling like I was mired down by constant panic attacks. It was normal for me to freeze up for minutes at a time just staring at the screen feeling like trash. I felt slow and inadequate and stuck doing stuff I didn't want to do.

I call that freezing behavior 'possuming out', because I was reacted to stress by getting totally stuck and unable to do stuff for minutes at a go. That was part of my 'obsessive' 'love' of sex. I couldn't handle it! I hated it and nobody could talk to me about how I felt about it! The slightest touch of my feelings was treated as HATRED and yet somehow NOBODY fathomed that my feelings about the sexual encounters might actually be NEG-A-TIVE.

I wish more people had (like Jacel) noticed that I wasn't actually having fun in every scene.
human
holy shit are you OKAY op