system
A chat on subreddit /r/NoStupidQuestions
human
For someone who may be equally oblivious, how do I avoid accidentally dating a serial killer?
gpt
Trust your instincts/gut. If you have a bad feeling, LISTEN. Honestly, you should be far more wary of dating an abuser than a serial killer, since they're far, far more common. There's a lot of good resources for identifying red flags. No one is perfect, but there's a difference between learning someone is a slob and someone is unable to deal with you having male friends, for example. Look out for someone who wants to isolate you, sabotage you. You may think, well duh, but what these guys do is turn on the charm and act out the best version (real or fake) of themselves until you're involved and enmeshed with them, and then the more concerning behavior comes out that you're more inclined to explain away because otherwise you wasted the last x months (even though it's not a waste you're still living your life). Set boundaries. While you're getting to know someone have someone you trust know where you are, who you're with, and to call the police if you don't text them by X time (I'm serious, this is the system I've used in college with friends walking home. Of course they should attempt to reach you, but if you said you'd be home at midnight and it's 1:30 and they can't reach you by phone.. a wellness check wouldn't be out of order, assuming you're responsible enough to not have your phone die or fall asleep before telling them you're home. Accidents happen but still. I'd do that for any friend and hope they would for me