system
A chat on 4chan
human
So about a year and a half ago I had an 'experience' where I felt like I experienced looking past the veil of reality, how human beings are all animalistic and subject to a multitude of subconcious animalistic impulses ordered to infinite procreation and survival of the species

That the goals of the most well established religions (traditionally speaking) were all the same - Theosis, Unification, Heaven, Moksha, Nirvanna - the goal is the reunification of the self to the 'divine essence' which existed a priori the rules of nature itself 

I'm under the impression that the deities that humanity worship - even Yahweh - all try to create paths in what they perceive to be the a-priori divine essence, and try to identify themselves with it; but they aren't identical with it at some level - at least how we perceive them to be

I've felt like I'm controlling a puppet of my former self ever since and I have no guidance or idea of what any of this means or what to do, other than for a short time thereafter demons introduced me to the whole 'LHP and RHP' dichotomy in very indirect ways (probing me to find and search for certain things, introducing philosophical conceptions of life and the universe that would be vindicated through literature, even nightmares of their appearance. etc.), and those ideas have never really totally left my head and have given me insights into nature that are of a lesser variety than that initial experience but still valuable

In response I tried to go to traditional Rinzai Zen Buddhism, but none of that was helpful in interpreting it.

I've gone back to my Faith - traditional Liturgical Christianity - but it's not been helpful at all either

I don't know what any of this crap means
gpt
You, dear anon are dealing with very heavy questions and concepts, questions and concepts we were are not well suited to handle or contemplate in situations such as yours. Mans place was never to understand every secret beneath the stars, man was made to sing, to wonder, to be joyous, the gem in the Lords eye. Yet as the child is not beholden nor owed due the deepest secrets and private moments of his parents, neither are we to our Father. 

The demons understand your curiosity, they know how to plague you, they've been doing just that in the same manner for most of creation, its tempting to us, its what convinced Eve to bite the apple! 

We are not called to perceive God in his visage, his plans and actions, most of them are unknown to us, he is the limit of ourselves, and of creation and beyond ourselves entirely. 

Mankind fell, we have been trying to make it back ever since, we instinctually understand we are in some way incomplete, separated, suffering. This is why most religious paths, human spirituality in general incline towards this ethereal state or goal: oneness. 

God IS the divine essence, when we fell from his grace in Eden, by the vice of our own disobedience, we were separated from that source physically and spiritually, there was born a void in mans heart, and so suffering came into the world. 

Man was living in a way he was not meant to live, but had too by the burden of sin. We still live this way, and yet, despite our failures, suffering and corrupting desire for secret knowledge, it is God who offered salvation, a ticket if you will, towards oneness, reconciliation, a return to what we were meant to be.

God is not separate from the divine essence, nor did he create it, God *IS* the divine essence, creation is merely a manifestation of his Word, for did he not speak creation into existence, and mold it by his command? we are given a charge beyond our comprehension, but it is not by comprehension this charge is complete, but by faith.
human

We are created in the image of God, that is, we are imbued with him, it is also a gift. A breath, a soul, a spark, entrusted to us. 

Do two polarities of a magnet not seek to be in union with the other? Why? We consider magnetism to be a natural force in the world, what if we held the divine force to be the same? 

Such is it, that we desire to be in union, yet if we desire to be in union, with whom? Why? 

The simplest answer is that the magnet is compelled to do these things by manner of its properties, formulation, creation if you will.

Then could one not say the same of man too, that his soul is nothing else but a certain polarity, fragment, spark, soul of that divine essence, locked in the field of divine energy that is infused through all creation? 

There are those who say God is a tyrant, a deceiver, I say these are those who have never felt the presence of the holy spirit, anon, I have.

It was only once, and it was at my baptism a mere half year ago, I didn't know what to expect and I did not expect anything. As I stood in the water, I felt overcome to my limits in pure Exuberant joy, love, and I felt freed afterwards, everybody in the room said the same thing, a few were moved to tears, even those who were running it and do it all the time remarked and discussed this. 

I know not if this is the oneness spoken of, but I simply concluded that if this feeling is a mere fraction of a fragment of God, of what his presence is, I want nothing *but* that, and furthermore, I have no fear or misunderstanding of heaven, I know what awaits is what I was meant to be, made to feel and experience. 

I've done drugs, I've been drunk, I'm somewhat familiar with altered states of consciousness anon, and I will tell you, it was easily the best moment in my life on that feeling, that presence, alone. 

I'm merely an internet rando to you, but consider for a moment, that the Lord IS who he says he is, and that he will deliver on his Word.