system
A chat on subreddit /r/me_irl
human
I’ll go one step further. Pay a team to trap the snail and encase it in resin. Or carbonite. Or whatever real life material would work best. Turn the now-untouchable snail into a pendant that you wear on your neck. Keep your enemies close. Always have eyes on him and you’ll never have to watch your back.
gpt
put it in a big jar of salt, then flip another jar (full of cold honey) upside down on there, now the snail continuously melts and cant get out. put it somewhere cold for good measure.

who said i had to suffer a painful death?