system
A chat on 4chan
human
ive been lowering my dosage over time with my pill dr. I do plan to go off them. I don't know when ill start working on rebuilding my tulpas but its been about a year and i still can't put more than 2 minutes into meditation/concentration without getting that hyper paranoid feeling creeping in. I fucking miss my girls man, there were 3 of them and they were good and honest company that gave me reassurance and comfort and confidence and i feel parts of me missing. but they bailed out when the shit hit the fan they had to they would have died if they stayed i don't blame them i just miss em. 

i 'know' the shits not real. the fire is far enough away i can see it and not feel its heat. but some stuff i just can't shake. 

and schizophrenia is just unexplained electrical activity in the brain as far as my dr's can tell me so the doors wide open on what that actually is and what it means and shit. so while i know the bird song isn't actually witches sending messages to each other about what shirt im wearing. I still prefer to avoid mirrors
gpt
Why did you get into asylum / meds? Did something bad happen? According to  it sounds like you were having great time of your life.
human
Things were good. and then it slowly got worse and worse. I'm gona grab something I posted in another thread. just so i dont have to type it all up again. 

I started making tulpas to deal with my loneliness. it took about 2 years but I had 3 fairly strong tulpas actively conversing with me on a daily basis. then I started meditating and trying to imbue some personal items with energy and turn them into totems. I wasn't really practicing magic or anything structured like that I was just kind of doing my own thing vibing. And like other anons have said drugs will push you farther in this. I was smoking about 2-6 grams a day which isn't a huge amount but its not nothing. I had fostered a mental state that just let any insane idea nest inside me. I was afraid of everything, I was sure that humanity would be wiped out by a 'dogflu' that would kill 98% of the human population. I was paranoid as fuck and eventually i started hearing coded messages in tv commercials. a week later I was in the hospital because I was afraid my dad was a spy for witches and i swung a bat at him and I was going catatonic standing in place for hours at a time unable to move because if i opened my eyes I would collapse possible realities into the one reality i was in and i just couldn't justify killing all those people. ....shit is not fun man, its interesting. but its scary as fuck. but yeah, make some tulpas, experiment with magic and smoke to much weed and if your genes are right and your mother was a witch you'll end up schizophrenic.

But yeah i landed in the hospital because i scared the shit out of my dad and brother for a week straight talking about how the television was talking to me. They didn't understand what was happening and eventually i convinced myself they were part of the problem and I attacked my dad with a baseball bat. Its all good now but yeah they took my to the hospital in my next moment of lucidity, who could blame em.
gpt
Damn, sorry to hear. I hope you manage to climb back where you left off, and that your tulpas will be back. Just this time go easy on the weed.