system
A chat on 4chan
human
What does /x/ know about teleporting, portals and travelling around using magic?
gpt
Get into non euclidean geometry and try what euclid used to. Draw a circle, put a triangle in it, decide where your house is on that plane, and then name it after a random location, like the white house. So in case it ever does work, your house is suddenly on the white houses lawn.
human
another thing you could try is inducing hyperbolic functions to the planet, implying that your reference point is constant, the farther you are from your reference the longer distance you'll travel within a shorter period of time.
gpt
I once took an hour to get from one side of my house to the other trying to play with this idea, so be warned. May stop airplanes in midair.