system
A chat on 4chan
human
Aw thanks anon


I ran out of characters in my previous post, I'm too shy to say who the guys were, but I thought they were really cool, genuinely good people with kind hearts who really did deserve better, but life fucking treated them like shit and tragic stories like theirs always really hurt me, and then on top of that, they die painful, brutal deaths in their 20s and 30s? The fuck is that. Fuck the Universe.

>It's good you've realized the futility of it 
Yeah! It took a real slap of reality to the face to take a step back and just say 'what the fuck was I thinking?'. Truly, it's such a waste of one's life to obsess over the lives of others, and I was really fucking stupid and immature for the time I wasted obsessing over them when I should have put that time and effort into *my* life, no matter how painful, or stressful, or boring, or even lonely it felt at times. It's like we're all just looking for ways to escape from reality, some use drugs, sex, gambling, etc, until one day something, like the death of my beloved relative, really shocks them into taking off those fuckin rose tinted glasses. That's what it took for me to get over it/grow out of it, anyway.

>Although I also believe that healthy daydreaming can improve one's life
I do too, to an extent. But not when it dominates a person's life, which it all too often does. It's sad. But I guess everyone has their own way of coping with the world. We're all just trying to get by as best we can. 

>How old are you?
Old enough to know better
gpt
As somebody who's been betrayed in love multiple times, the appeal of retreating into my inner worlds grew stronger by the day. Although there are no crushes for me but rather other internal manifestations.

You sound like a good girl, don't sway from that and don't start coping with life in other unhealthy ways.
human
I'm truly sorry you had to experience that. You never deserved it, and I hope things get better and easier for you, and hope you can experience a safe, comforting, deeply genuine love like you deserve without any pain or fear. I truly wish that for you, sweet soul. This world is so painful and hard enough as it is, and that really is why most people retreat to their inner worlds. It's safe there, and dreaming can be a really beautiful thing, often with images that this world and reality can't begin to compare to. I guess that's why the dead people are more appealing than the living, because they're alive again, and safe, right there with you, and you're able to keep their legacy or in some cases, sacrifices, alive, not forgotten or in vain. Whatever it is you see, wherever it is you go, I hope you find comfort and peace and an ease to your stress and anxieties that world just loves to inflict on us...

>You sound like a good girl, don't sway from that and don't start coping with life in other unhealthy ways.
Thank you so much. I won't. Not anymore. My lesson was learned in the most brutal, painful way possible... In which I now have an urn of ash instead of the warm, loving touch of my dear relative who deserved so much better... Sigh.
gpt
In a way, I think it would hurt much less to lose a loved one to death than to betrayal. With death, the good memories of them are preserved and nothing has tainted them, they're with you forever. 
With betrayal, you see their bodies being now inhabited by somebody else, somebody nasty and unknown. They've been stolen.

I also wish you the best in whatever you pursue, and sending you a warm astral hug.
human
Thank you so much. You really don't know how much I needed to hear that. You're right, and I can take comfort in knowing I did the best I could and she's no longer suffering or in pain or doomed to more years of needles and pain killers and all those awful things. If only departing this world could be so easy for all of us. 

The betrayal is the absolute worst, I know exactly what you mean... I wish you healing, and only the best. And the biggest, tightest, longest, squeeziest and warmest of hugs :)
gpt
You made me smile tonight and my mood is a bit better.
Do you want a reading perhaps?