system
A chat on 4chan
human
To the nigga writing essays: you do not have true power. You are a puppet. True power only comes from self-mastery, due to an occult law.

Assuming that whatever entity that is really your metaphysical glowie handler is on the side of darkness (beezlebub, baal, wormtail, captain hook, or whatever), you should know that you have chosen the wrong side. Since darkness can only ever be a passing phase, while Light or Truth (Being, God) are quite literally eternal metaphysical principles, you dumb nigger.

I'm writing this more for lurkers who think doing what you did would be a good idea. No, it is idiotic. Become religious, or if you really are meant to study the esoteric, study an authentic Tradition from your own culture to set a foundation, and branch out from there. If you are white, study Kabalah (lame, diluted, degenerated in almost all cases) or if you are more noble you can attempt to penetrate the mysteries of Hermeticism and Alchemy. Otherwise Tibetan Buddhism is very based, at least certain kinds that I'm aware of.
gpt
Yes, I always felt that delving into one's own culture and traditions is the way forward. I found out later in life that I'm heavily related to an extremely intense Scottish clan (only hint: famous American comedian who is only related by name, not blood). The entire rabbit hole that took me down lead/coincided with my discovery of the hermetic corpus, through tidbits dropped about celestial information encoded in symbolism (think Randall Carlson, biblioteca pleyades, infinity chan) and my own personal obsession with antedeluvian constructions/mounds. I've had my fair share of extreme experiences that I've walked away from almost unscathed. 

One time, I got on a moldavite kick. I was never well versed in the whole occult gem thing, but the holy grail symbolism with moldavite corresponded with what the literature I was reading at the time (Rennes chateau myth, etc). I purchased a small chunk of moldavite at a lame ass college book store. I thought the warning of moldavite causing extreme life changes was bullshit. 

In the next month, I had multiple seizures where I would ingest an amount of alcohol (sometimes large, sometimes just a few drinks), start speaking nonsense sentences to anyone near by, and then collapse to the ground. In some of these events, I was being thrown around violently. I fell into a metal grill, I fell down the stairs on the way up to my apartment, I broke into a closed room and fell asleep in the bed there. In the mean time, I was being eaten alive by fleas, or at least that's what it seemed. No one else in the building ever had an issue with fleas, but I was waking up with itchy, inflammed, pin like wounds all over my body. Again, even with multiple cats in the house, no one else was having any kind of flea issue. The last massive seizure corresponded with what I believe to be was a fentanyl poisoning. I ended up driving about 8 miles out of town after spamming gore to friends and family with messages of love. (cont)