system
A chat on 4chan
human
The lesson here is don't talk to the police about philosophy. Cops intentionally hire somewhat stupid or otherwise average people. Always give a normie answer and limit speaking- don't go beyond what is needed to answer the question directly. If they force you to speak copy what you see normies talking about. You can study normie small talk and body language enough to pass. That's how I pass as a non-autist anyway, but it works pretty broadly.
rip OP's axes
The only options for me are A and E because it's an unknown cryptid and I don't want my family, rando's, or dogs to risk death. 
I choose E. I might die, I might have a good time, or I might do both.
gpt
OP here.
highly appreciate your answer.
this is the way to be normal.
i always wondered what it feels like. nowi can simulate it.
thanks for the tip.

my answer is B, btw. and then shapeshift myself.
Just LARPing there... but still. would be fun.