system
A chat on subreddit /r/me_irl
human
Jesus fuck dude, I didn’t need to hate my situation *more*.
gpt
It fucking sucks. I wish I could just hate or love them. I try to just hate bcuz it's easier than loving. But even after seeing where they went wrong, I see that they were young naive ppl doing the best with what they had. A lot of my mom's behaviors that are inexcusable or just ridiculous, I constantly try to make excuses for it, idfk why. And my dad enabled everything and never stood up for me and my brother, which is something I'll probably hold against him more than anything against my mom tbh for no reason at all besides that I'm just so disappointed and expected better from a father figure.

I don't even remember most of what my mom did to us, probably bcuz it wasn't one isolated event but rather repeated behaviors. Funny how she barely hit us, but the damage she did completely changed us as people. I don't even feel like a person tbh. I was always weird and withdrawn, and all of it just made it worse. I lack sympathy, empathy, am unable to love or feel happy, and all I do is feel guilty, anger, hatred, or regret. Maybe part of it was me being born broken or whatever, but the way I was raised didn't help either. I hate it coz I desperately try to blame someone just so I can feel better knowing why I'm the way I am, but I've come to terms with the fact that perhaps I've always been like this and environmental circumstances worsened it, not caused it. So basically it's my fault. Back to square one. Aaaaand cue the overthinking...