system
A chat on 4chan
human
Hey OP. I get it. It's hard to see. It's, intentionally or not, by design. The more we learn along one path, the less 'magic' that path gets and the more systematic it gets, and the more we lose track of other paths. 
Luckily there's a societal, homanity-wide path, and there's individual paths. You can walk down the same highway everyone else is walking down. There's nothing wrong with trusting the path with marked barriers and signposts and heated bathrooms. Literally nothing wrong. There isn't magic there though. What magic does live there is already sewn and reaped by the masters of that highway (I encourage you to reevaluate a vocation as 'simple' as actor... someone can immerse you in another world, through false emotions and predesigned words and actions?).
The side roads are lonely. Maybe you'll join paths with a pretty girl, or a nice friend. You'll meet the lower-degree problem of the highway though; your highest path is being decided externally and through others (to some degree). 
Magic IS lonely. It is absolutely and utterly lonely. It is the most heartbreakingly lonely thing there is. God is absolutely the loneliest, least understood phenomenon imaginable.
Love is a shared path. It's easier, in that sense. If you're not someone of extremely high character, extremely anti-social, extremely firm in yourself, I suggest not looking for magic. Look for love, and celebrate it as the greatest consolation prize there ever could be.
gpt
When I say 'extremely' I do not mean 'I don't make friends, I don't know what to say to others so I don't talk, I get a lot of anxiety around crowds' or literally anything like that.
I mean, in your bones you are NOT a social animal. You don't even go on message boards, you have no desire to connect with humanity. Don't persuade yourself you are one of these people. I believe I know one other person who frequents here with any regularity is actually worth their salt in magic, and it's not like you'd notice them.
Love, or the divine grace given to us as consolation of not being able (again, through design) attain magic to any high degree, is really all we can expect. Love, probably the most powerful emotion (and I have experienced blinding rage, debilitating sadness, mindbending jealousy, it completely overcomes these), is second to magic. If you can't attain magic, seek love. I know this sounds like hippie shit. I get it. If you're still in the 98th percentile of anti-social, what I say will sound like complete bullshit. I get it. Check into your soul, see if it feels true. I can't tell you your truth, but I can guide you through my own.

You know the phrase 'we killed God'? We also killed magic in the same way. Our species-wide-soul went down the path of killing magic. You can find it's vivisected remains here and there if you stray from the highway a bit, but by and large you're playing with rot. 

This, spoken as someone who practices magic to a high degree, it's honestly oftentimes not worth it even for me. I get what I want, literally no matter what. The further I progress down that path, the further I get from humanity. 'Demon' doesn't mean evil spirit, it means 'powerful spirit'. Humans become demons when they seek magic, not because they're evil, but because they're powerful and no longer 'human'. Rejecting humanity is hard work. You can do it, I guess, and it can be done at any point in life (harder for some, obviously) too.
human
>You know the phrase 'we killed God'? We also killed magic in the same way. Our species-wide-soul went down the path of killing magic. You can find it's vivisected remains here and there if you stray from the highway a bit, but by and large you're playing with rot.
Interesting how when humanity got iPhones and Galaxy Samsung phones to document the world around them, magic is now “dead”.
Nobody killed magic, people lied, and wanted to believe. Glad that even you have to admit magic isn’t real “anymore” and to live in the real world. Now you can only lie past tense since you can’t in current day.