system
A chat on subreddit /r/NoStupidQuestions
human
I'd love a friendly conversation on perspectives.

My brother and I just had a "Ugh.. wives" moment. 

Doing a quick summary:
My wife of 20 years just did this a day back. We split the chores but she made the guidelines to be clear. I take out the trash and do the dishes everyday. She cooks and does the floor. I don't touch her kitchen or she'll couch me. 

Day back, our dog had mud from rain tracked in various places but not much, just noticable. We have all tile. She blew up at me out of nowhere. Came home, hugged/kissed played with the dog and did the dishes. As I was doing the dishes she exploded with anger. Why don't you ever clean the floor?!

20 years, this ain't new. Babe, you said never to touch the kitchen and the floor is yours. If you want me to do the floors just ask. The drama ain't needed.

-

I want to post a screenshot of my brother's text about his 3 years together wife, literally 6 hours ago.

Brother: hey, you know that red laptop, it's going downhill. Wife asked me to find a decent one to replace it. Could you help me find one that does the stuff we need within this budget? I say sure, np. Then he vents: man, wife really went AWOL on me last night. She yelled that she never gets anything first that's new. She said it's not right that I get the laptop. I don't get it, I mean I got her a switch, it's hers I don't play games on it. We got her the new Xbox and this game day 1. The laptop we shared because we work different shifts (day/night). It's never been an issue. 

I just replied, brother just ignore everything she said negative and listen to what she is asking for. She wants a laptop for her. This was already something y'all were doing so just ask her which laptop she wants and get it then hand it to her and use the old one. He's replies to me. Yeah that's what I did.. I just don't understand though. (The drama)

This was my experience and there's been MORE then plenty I've whined about. I'm far far from a saint.
gpt
I read a really good book about this kind of thing a while ago but I can't for the life of me find it now. Anyway, the gist of it is that when your partner seems to explode at you out of nowhere, that explosion isn't really about whatever they were angry about. It's about something else that you are doing or have done to annoy them recently, and the outburst is (often) only an expression of something that has been building for a while. 

It's possible that renegotiating the chores will be all you need to solve this problem, but it's equally possible that there's something deeper, and if you leave it too long there will be more outbursts and possibly a total break-down in communication.