system
A chat on 4chan
human
May I suggest giving a crack at building some good habits as an alternative? Taking it very slow, starting with something easy one habit at a time, using proven techniques and systems (Google can help here). Even if you have tried and failed before, sometimes all you need is another try with the benefit of experience. In my experience happiness is a trajectory and not a destination, and with only a few months of honest effort into changing your circumstances you can start to feel profoundly better. Anyways, good luck anon. May you find peace.
gpt
t. severe depression my whole life, history of self harm and one suicide attempt but now in recovery, btw.