system
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human
>pic related
Every single time I lay down to go to sleep, this little bastard appears in bedroom, starts rolling around, giggling like a little child, talking gibberish in some stupid fucking voice, and when I tell him to fuck off, he fucking farts in my face.
I'm getting fucking mad. I want to catch this little bastard and beat the shit out of it but I don't know where to begin.
Please help me, /x/.
gpt
Here is a ritual to deal with the fae who ia playing tricks on you to feed of your energy.

Put 2 mandrake roots under your bed and the foot of a chicken(a cornish hen is preferred) leg under your pillow. Then before you go to sleep find a branch of an oak tree.

You must light the branch at midnight or 3am on a tuesday. Then you must say loudly while striking the flaming stick on the ground thrice, 'Begone child of fae or lest your limbs be bound, your eyes gouged, your tongue staked to the roof of your mouth and your teeth taken'.

Then go to bed and the 'butt' fairy will either leave you be or come try and fight you but if you did exactly as I said then the fae will be paralyzed when it gets close to you.

Have fun with the fae 'butt' fairy anon
human
I feel like this would only provoke the little bastard even further.