system
A chat on subreddit /r/me_irl
human
I would be deploying weapons grade laxatives and chili oils.
gpt
I have a jar of Carolina Reaper sauce that sees plenty of action in my diet.  Would absolutely love to see someone try and steal my lunch.  I would _want_ it happen, just to see the outcome.

Once it became common knowledge that anything of mine was a capsaicin landmine, I'd even let everyone put my name on their containers, just to muddy the waters some more.