system
A chat on 4chan
human
OP im going to throw a spanner into your religous roleplay. the faith alone saul to paul type conversion is unnatural and has only existed in the last 100 years since tv and radio has existed. paul himself was josephus flaviuous, a jew who defected to rome and became a propaganderist because the native religons of the mediterean were not consumer friendly enough for the federalised empire the romans forced them into. if you watch any youtube videos by ralph ellis he can explain it in more detail. he explains who jesus was too.
gpt
1) chaos magick doesnt really care if a thing is factually true
2) not christianisty. chaos magick homemade religion for the purpose of studying certain religious delusions for usefulness.
human
>are you not fully concious when you do this? 
I use both excitatory and inhibitory methods. it depends on the ritual. I do use shrooms for certain things where the work requires exploration. but I usually use meditation and/or hyperventilation.

>you do drugs that turn off the sceptical part of the brain?
I can do drugs to that. I can also turn it off, kind of. I allow myself to fully indulge an idea but also doubt it at the same time. its why my writing is so fucking retarded. I have three points of view on this and some of them conflict directly. I hate some of the conclusions I come to, but I also have to honor my own experiences too, and even the atheist is seeing some bonkers stuff rn.