system
A chat on subreddit /r/me_irl
human
I mean I can't speak for that guy, but based on my own experience... The problem is that when you're deep down in it you don't care about *any* of that. I didn't have the energy or emotional resources at that time, either.
gpt
It is truly soul sucking when it’s bad. I hate the feeling of knowing I’m not in control anymore, that I’m just spiraling downwards. It scares me knowing that all it takes is one push, one intrusive thought to impulsively come through, and it’s lights out. I want to be normal and happier, but sometimes the fear and anxiety is insurmountable. Been feeling this way my whole life, it sucks trying and failing to get help many times over the years, all the meds, said no to brain shocks, etc. At least I’m lucky to have the few good things in my life that I do, that I get to wake up every day and have the chance to find happiness for myself. It’s a fine line to balance all the time. People wonder when someone commits suicide, why they did it so suddenly and they were so good right before: because it’s a battle they are fighting every single day, they’re good at hiding it and masking, that’s why it comes out of no where, because it’s just too exhausting to hold it at bay anymore.