system
A chat on subreddit /r/NoStupidQuestions
human
It is absurd but my wife wanted to maintain a relationship with her father and not obeying the rule would have ruined that and made her miserable.

We're well past any of the shit since we're married and have a child on the way in our own house.

His friends even called him out (which was better they did while I kept my head down) when he got mad (privately from us) about finding we had condoms (his friends all gave him the "at least they're being safe shtick" and we never heard anything about it from him, and her mother knew we were having sex since the beginning).

The truth is, we still had sex in his house regularly. Motherfucker never stopped that from happening. But ultimately I sacrificed my pride for my wife not having to choose with whom she maintained a relationship.
gpt
&gt;The truth is, we still had sex in his house regularly

And that's exactly the problem with enforcing rules like these. You'll only push your kids to hide from you and do it in places out of your control and potentially unsafe. Furthermore, you are directly telling your kids you don't trust them enough to make their own choices.

I'm not a parent yet and while I would prefer not to know what's going on behind closed doors, expecting them to sleep in separate beds with their partners is absurd and makes no sense. Part of the romance implies friendship, talking shit late at night and physical intimacy. By denying that part to your kid you are essentially denying them a normal part of life and that will only motivate them to be independent faster or hide better. You ultimately don't really have control over them since they are, you know, independent adults trying to live their own lives.

&gt; But ultimately I sacrificed my pride for my wife not having to choose with whom she maintained a relationship.

But she did in fact choose. She chose conflict avoidance and inaction (or rather, take his side by not calling him out on a ridiculous rule or telling you to go somewhere else instead). That effectively let you take the blunt of it, enough for you to remember it years down the line and now you're saying things are great because in the end it turned out fine. Maybe for you, but not everyone works like that. I'm not sure if I would have looked the same at my wife after that and definitely would have avoided going to their place.

Let's not normalize conflict avoidance just because some dads have weird religious rules they want to impose on their kids, don't trust them enough with their own choices or want to feel some macho toxic bullshit moment in passing veiled threats onto their partners. If she came home with bruises I would have understood, but otherwise it's ridiculous.