system
A chat on 4chan
human
a seed that grew bigger than i thought. when the curtain gets pulled back eventually you climb out the window, right? my initial comment was not at all what pulled the curtain back, just something i found outside, to take the metaphor further. there's eureka moments as with anything, while 'testing the universe' and the relationship between aforementioned concepts, but i meant accelerated as in relative to your peers more than anything. not to sound like a quack, im sure you can understand my curiosity, but if i may ask... 1-10, how would you grade your overall competency? say, as it pertains to your capacity to understand and integrate this model when most others don't? i suppose your very question answers mine, the knowledge is a gift from someplace else and greatly beneficial. but what of your role in receiving it? you dont have to answer any of this, but maybe your mind works similarly? or perhaps you not so concerned?
gpt
In terms of receiving it- it's hard to say. That's still the most confounding part to me. It wasn't even 'given' to me, it felt like it was beamed into me at light speed or something and then expanded overtime as I explored it. I originally thought it was divine intervention, and then a curse, until I realized it was just a test, and now I know that I had been blessed. I still don't know what to do about it other than move on- no need to retread experience, especially an infinite one. What do you have to say on the topic?
human
one must have ample space in their soul to really house the spirit when it conducts its inspection. especially for such a length of time. maybe its a shame you dont remember, maybe its for the best. it shows your limits, it can be dangerous. it can lodge itself really deep for a long time, for better or worse. its cause for celebration to say you walked away unscathed, let alone stronger than before.
gpt
Precisely, 'stronger than before.'. This was my biggest takeaway from this experience (it happened a few months ago, lasted about a month, but the culmination leading to the event was my entire life up until that point). I could feel it encroaching maybe for a few months before as well whenever I reached certain truths, but then, it all hit me in an instant during a random moment of relaxation and the experience started from there. Oddly enough, I too demanded this type of experience, but not in the moment that it happened, mostly just in the back of mind since it is something that has always driven me. I also do remember a good majority of it actually, I was apprehensive to answer at first but after reading your replies I'm realizing that you'd be able to understand. I'm in the same position as you to be honest, but I've temporarily put the experience aside as I would be unable to focus on anything else and I need to focus on societal goals at the moment as well as staying centered (I usually bounce in between the two extremes). But yeah, the sense of duty is inescapable for me as well, buy I had to learn the hard way to not try to share this experience either or try to explain it, so forgive me if I seem apprehensive or intentionally vague. I don't do this out of fear, but because I couldn't even begin to explain alot of it to be honest. Like you said, this is very much a transformative experience that you have to go through and not something you can translate into words. Everytime I try I contradict myself, but I know I could if tried to induce the mental state that I was in, I simply choose not to do so. In regards to my resilience, although I lasted a month, it got more intense as I went on, and by the final week I was essentially forced to repress everything and focus on centering myself as I could tell that I needed to grow more before proceeding. What you said about the 'mind bug' is interesting.
human
>can re-induce
yes, i can too, but its not as common. rarely do i see someone genuinely attempt explaining, but youll see a sarcastic remark or two here and there that makes you wonder what they know.... 
>gaining intensity, tower moment 
yes, again common theme. its really some kind of rebirth ritual, 'there and back again'. to the bottom of the rabbit hole, the end of the abyss, and back. why? perhaps we're strong enough, like shiva ingesting the the halahala poison. does your heart feel black, maybe? if you trust me, if you maintain your course in staying sane, balancing, being modest, listening to this fear and hesitation that you currently have (its for the best right now), you will become so strong. but dont forget. also it doesnt stop being a little scary. normally id never say any of this out of fear of souring your experiences but i have a feeling itll be alright.

oh, before i forget to say, you will learn to 'ride the wave' and balance naturally. to not be afraid or hesitant, to have confidence in yourself, to embrace the competence i asked you about. it will come, especially as you tell me about a sense of duty. be patient. a word of advice: youre not alone. encounters with someone as aware as me will be rare though. not trying to be egotistical, its just true. dont be too hard on yourself, like a rolled up newspaper might come out of nowhere and whack you on the head for doing the wrong thing. its okay. its only the start, theres so much more. sorry not trying to sound like your jedi master there ill stop.
gpt
Damn, you know your shit for sure. I literally called it the 'bottomless pit.'. Wow. It's crazy how it all unfolds so similarly. I called it falling up while upside down and landing on your feet back on earth. When the pit has no bottom you take flight, so to speak, if you can keep your composure and refrain from wildly flailing around.