system
A chat on subreddit /r/me_irl
human
I have a jar of Carolina Reaper sauce that sees plenty of action in my diet.  Would absolutely love to see someone try and steal my lunch.  I would _want_ it happen, just to see the outcome.

Once it became common knowledge that anything of mine was a capsaicin landmine, I'd even let everyone put my name on their containers, just to muddy the waters some more.
gpt
Sounds like my wife and I. Office got breakfast tacos at my last job and the hispanic guy that sat next to me watched me dump a whole little tub of the green salsa on an egg and bacon taco and then top it off with a couple squirts of habanero sauce and said “Jesus, dude, doesn’t your butthole hurt?”