system
A chat on 4chan
human
I think we're kind of speaking past each other. My point is precisely that originally being of and having emanated from the source =/= being the source. Hence the memory comparison.
I have not experienced what you have, so I can't do much more than speculate, but I have a feeling that we can't ever get the full picture, especially with the ego still in our way, and we also can't equate what feels like one huge revelation in a meditative state to the absolute truth, but maybe that's just my wishful thinking. My point regarding the absolute selves and splinters of it not being the same thing still stands though.
gpt
>we can't ever get the full picture
I get the feeling that OP got a accurate vision of the nature of time-space (aka existence, aka reality) and a 'view from above' experience, but did not realize that time and space are constructed/created by higher levels yet.
human
Am 
one more question I have, if what you have seen in your one big meditative experience you're describing here is true, then why would becoming one with the source be an attractive endeavor and why have so many prominent spiritual historical figures sacrificed all they could to attain this goal?
I'm aware the many religions of today are but warped and disfigured versions of what they once were, that however doesn't change the fact that escaping samsara and becoming one with atman/brahman/source has always been seen as desirable by those who had devoted countless more hours to attaining gnosis and exploring the actual truth.
If all that awaited one at the end of said journey were crippling feelings of loneliness and an immediate urge to go back and forget, would all the hinduist and spiritual men of the past not have figured that out before they went on to preach that escaping 'this' is what truly frees one? If one is truly free of all negative emoties, how can they experience loneliness?


One more thought! Kinda what  pointed towards, what if that experience of yours was the view of the demiurge - would he not be the highest level of 'oversoul' we could merge with without moving back into divinity(pleroma?)? Would it not make sense, from the viewpoint of that which has escaped from the divine into nothingness to start feeling lonely and eventually disperse itself to create an universe and life of its own? Makes more sense to me - outside the divine, one can't truly be free from all that's negative, so one can still experience loneliness, angst and other negative emotions. And as such, le demiurge decided to shatter itself into countless pieces and in its imperfection created an imperfect universe itself. 

(Idk if gnosticism allows the demiurge to exist as the universe itself which it has created instead of as a separate entity next to it, so if I'm wrong just see it as another system only similar to gnosticism)
gpt
>what if that experience of yours was the view of the demiurge
what if it is just the truth of time-space/existence; that it's true nature is that of a blank canvas that mind/awareness creates on? Perhaps also that the view that time-space is all there is leads to despair.
human

I personally don't think what you experienced was 'fake' or not real in a sense, I just think it wasn't the full truth. As I said in my other post, there does appear to be more to it, considering the spiritual masters of old didn't adopt your viewpoint and instead insisted that what awaits in the source is a blissful existence of wholeness, companionship and love - an absolute opposite of what you describe.
I think that, once you get over the unpleasant experience, you should continue meditating (in general, and on all the ideas discussed here) and I'm sure you will find your answers eventually, and maybe get the other half or quarter or whatever kind of piece of the truth so you can eventually see it for what the malnourished dudes meditating for 10 years in a row said it really is.

 I agree with this also
gpt
>what you experienced was 'fake' or not real in a sense
Who knows, maybe it was a profound awakening that showed him that the stories he was told about reality are false; leading to view of reality crumbling and being rebuilt. A period of confusion where one either learns to love or hate existence; finds light or falls into the darkness. Heh, maybe not; who knows.