system
A chat on subreddit /r/me_irl
human
I just put a glass over it with glue on the rim.  Problem solved.
gpt
I’ll go one step further. Pay a team to trap the snail and encase it in resin. Or carbonite. Or whatever real life material would work best. Turn the now-untouchable snail into a pendant that you wear on your neck. Keep your enemies close. Always have eyes on him and you’ll never have to watch your back.