system
A chat on subreddit /r/NoStupidQuestions
human
You deadset legend.

My eldest is approaching dating age and I’d always planned to be this type of parent during that phase, and the rest, of her life.
gpt
It’s easier than it sounds.

The trick is, to treat people humanely. Crazy concept nowadays. I’ve always told my kids they can come to me when they are in trouble, sad, happy, mad, it doesn’t matter. And then you just have to prove it once and they remember.

When my 19yo was 16 they went to a party. Their first “party.” We told them, if you need us to get you, if things get weird, or scary, or overwhelming. If you decide to try something and then regret it. If your friends try something and regret it. If anything at all happens and you need a quick out, text us the sentence “hey dad/mom, can you feed my snake for me?” And 5 minutes later we will call you and tell you you HAVE to come home. We will make something up. You can act as annoyed or pissed as you want. We don’t care if your teenage friends don’t like us. No questions asked, just a pickup and drop off.

About a month later I got that text. I called and said mom and I had an emergency and we were coming to get them. They said “can X come too?” Absolutely! We went, picked them both up, brought them to our house and let it be.

We sent X’s parents a message telling them about our code, and that we had the girls, and asked them if it was fine they stayed at our house. 

Point is, we proved it once and created a bond with our child that has held through time. They felt unsafe at this party and wanted to avoid the social stigma of leaving. 

Just be there for your kids. Love them. Tell them the truth. Teach them to be humans, and that it’s okay to make mistakes. That’s where real experience comes from, mistakes.