A Man To Call My Own by Johanna Lindsey, historical (2004)
Pocket, $7.99, ISBN 0-7434-5635-1  I am half-ashamed to say that
for the last few weeks, I was caught up in a very stupid soap
opera called Secreto de Amor. It's a train-wreck of stupidity
that makes the cast of Passions come off like Mensa members.
Among my favorite scenes include: a stupid man in tiny
swimtrunks catching our villainess in his changing room and then
insisting that she come meet his wife and her friends when these
women knock on the dressing room door; this man telling his
friend once he was robbed by the villainess, "Oh no, she can't
be this professional thief you're telling me even if she fits
the description of Vilma the Thief because she told me her name
is Veleria!"; another villainess blackmailing our hero's five-
year old Creepy Midget daughter to tell daddy to marry her or
else; Creepy Midget begging her father to kiss the heroine
before this Creepy Midget and then getting a truly terrifying
orgasm face when daddy obliges; and