Sunday, August 26, 2012  True Story of John: Eulogy for the
worst person I’ve ever met  It was an overcast afternoon and my
family was exhausted from packing and the road. My little sister
had leased her first apartment and was finally taking everything
she’d left in our basement, and during a lull, I went out to
cook for the group.  Most people don’t count wasps as people,
but he was too much of a dick to grant him the excuse of non-
persona. He buzzed with a friend as soon as I opened the door,
flying directly at my face. I waved them aside with the spatula,
but they only circled around the air-current and continued. I
had to constantly wave the spatula to blow them aside as I
turned on the grill, and he still managed to fly around to my
chest, where I felt his stinger bounce off my shirt. I swatted
him to the ground, but let him live. This was a mistake as he
and his partner zipped up towards my exposed arm.  I ducked
inside the house to let them cool off. There are no wasp nests
on my deck, nor on the gril