Your Guide to Pooping While Caring for a Toddler   Your Guide to
Pooping While Caring for a Toddler   You are home caring for a
toddler.  You have to poop.  You don’t feel that you can safely
leave your toddler in a high chair or gated-in room or other
“safe space” while you do your business.  You need a guide to
pooping while caring for a toddler.  Here’s what you’ll need to
do.  1. Carry your toddler into the bathroom with you.  Not
unless you received the “toddler upgrade.”  You know, the one
where your toddler willingly and happily does whatever you ask
when you say, “Okay, sweetie, it’s time to stop playing with
your toys so that you can follow me into the bathroom.  There
aren’t any toys in there.  And you can’t take all of these toys
in there either.  Maybe just one.  And we need to make this
happen right now before I poop my pants.”  2. Pull off whatever
clothing you need to remove in order to poop.  No, faster than
that.  There’s not much time.  And lord help you if you ate a
lot of cheese the day be