Eff Being A Black Friday Zombie, Hungry For SaaaaalesS  It's
Black Friday again, so I guess everyone, especially parents,
will be running around like a bunch of assholes looking for the
Hot Shit Holiday Toy of 2011/12. Normally I would have slept
right through this day without so much as a raised smirk in its
honor, so oblivious to the hassle I was. See, it's a multi-part
hate. It sounds like it would be a really cool day, like, a low-
key, turn inward, black on the outside ‘cause black is how I
feel on the inside kinda thing. Only it's the opposite of that.
First, there's the unapologetic, unquestioned, rampant
consumerism. There's the literal trampling. There's the enormous
effort, what with all the planning and conspiring and
strategizing and caring that has to go on. Jesus, where does
everyone get all this caring about stuff from? And there's the
fact that it all goes on at the butt-crack of dawn all just to
save a few bucks on a Wii? I'd seriously rather learn fracking.
Although I've certainly never rec