trollUp until recently I thought I had to resort to the lottery
or white collar crime to fund my beach house.  However, soon
after hearing a story on NPR about software patent trolling, I
decided to finally apply for that patent on the blog reading
technique that I’ve worked so hard on inventing (patent #
c7c0f810-e5b8-4b64-9cfc-e7a93cc1d9cf).  Needless to say, my
invention is extremely complicated. It involves the internets,
procrastinating at work, and anonymously leaving lots of rude,
off-topic comments on blogs.  My lawyer, Guido, will explain it
to all of you in more detail while you cut me a big fat check (I
captured your IP Address when you loaded this page).
Unfortunately, I won’t be able to go after most of the software
giants, who spend billions to purchase random software patents
for no other reasons than to defend themselves through the
threat of the counter-suit.  On the other hand, if something
happens to my beach house and I can’t manage to think of any
more incredibly obvious ideas on my own,