Don't Hate on the Ham  cured ham.jpg Photo by Flickr user
Scandblue  When I was growing up, ham and I had a difference of
opinion. Upon arriving at a holiday soiree at which the main
course was ham, I'd fantasize about taking it outside,
blindfolding it, stepping back 25 paces or so, and letting loose
with an AR-15 rifle on the big pink bastard. Sure, I'd settle
for sneaking out for a microwave burrito, but that didn't change
the fact that I wanted to kill that goddamned ham.  The ham that
I grew up hating is made by curing meat from the hind leg of a
hog and producing those wet-looking triangular blocks of pig
wrapped in plastic that live on the first shelf of deli cases,
ugly next-door neighbors to bologna. Then there are the tabletop
versions, which lack the plastic wrap and are usually served
bone-in. These fellows may look better than their spongy deli
cousins, but they're just as distasteful, which is why they
induce those violent meat-shooting fantasies.  Apparently,
though, beyond the simple, clumsy,