DEAR CAROLYN: What should a mom do when her children feel
rejected by their grandparents?  My in-laws are divorced, yet
each is disconnected from my children's lives, despite living no
more than 15 minutes from us. My parents live an hour away yet
visit frequently, help out and never miss a chance to see them
in performances or sports competitions. The difference has
become noticeable to all three, who are now in elementary
school.  Grammy only visits when invited, and on holidays has
dictated when that will be, based on her other kids' schedules.
We've never been invited to celebrate a holiday with her, nor
has she ever offered to adjust her schedule for us. They are her
only grandkids.  She does give gifts to the kids, and will baby-
sit. She has attended a few events.  As for their Gramp, he has
never attended a birthday or holiday gathering. Instead, he
calls a day or so afterward and tells us when he can come over.
He arrives, sits down, takes pictures with the kids and usually
leaves within the hour. Now