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121   "Billy Chase #121"     How could I have possibly made
things worse than they already are? God, I wanna cry my fucking
*EYES* out right now, but I don't think I even deserve that
much. I'm total scum. I'm WORSE than scum! And even though I'm
scared to deal with any of this...even though I should TOTALLY
burn for it...I kinda want...more. I can't help it....I want
more. :( all started like this. Brandon called earlier this
morning, and I was still pretty much walking around the house in
my boxers and a t-shirt. Just hearing his voice was sooooo
amazing, you know? I guess his mom went outside to clean up the
yard a bit to make more room for her garden, and he had some
privacy to talk on the phone. Of course, my mom was still in the
house, so I had to be on my best behavior the entire time. And
Brandon, being the bastard he is, certainly made a point of
teasing me about it! I think he said every 'blush inducing'
sentence that he could manage wh