Why did she do it? Nobody dared to ask. Because - what courage!
Who had the courage to burn herself? Twenty aspirin, a little
slit alongside the veins of the arm, maybe even a bad half hour
standing on a roof: We’ve all had those. And somewhat more
dangerous things, like putting a gun in your mouth. But you put
it there, you taste it, it’s cold and greasy, your finger is on
the trigger, and you find that a whole world lies between this
moment and the moment you’ve been planning, when you’ll pull the
trigger. That world defeats you. You put the gun back in the
drawer. You’ll have to find another way.  What was that moment
like for her? The moment she lit the match. Had she already
tried roofs and guns and aspirins? Or was it just an
inspiration?  I had an inspiration once. I woke up one morning
and I knew that today I had to swallow fifty aspirin. It was my
task: my job for the day. I lined them up on my desk and took
them one by one, counting. But it’s not the same as what she
did. I could have stopped, at te