Sunday, September 22, 2013   Today was a hard day. There's so
much going on and I'm having a hard time finding the will to not
feel defeated. I dragged myself to church because I had to serve
today and I knew we'd be at least one body short already, so I
decided to go, in spite of myself. It's a hard season in my life
to be at a church that is going through a season of lots of
newborns and tiny children. I love babies, but right now all I
see in them is Brandon as a newborn and all of my hopes and
dreams for him just gone-forever. When Brandon was a newborn, he
made these cute little sounds that we likened to starting his
engine. One baby in church today was making similar noises and
it was just ripping my heart out, one sound at a time.  I filled
out the prayer request form and decided to try and stay to
listen to at least a portion of the message, even though it
wasn't my pastor doing the sermon. The book of Jeremiah is where
we landed. Almost immediately, I was struck at how closely the
message resembled m