Thursday, April 17, 2008  Conan the Destroyer: Can I get some
gravy for this turkey?  Last night I sat down and, without a gun
to my head, watched Conan the Destroyer. This was an
extraordinarily foolish decision. For all the negativity leveled
at Conan the Barbarian--unfair criticism, in my opinion, for
what I consider to be a terrific swords and sorcery film (albeit
not Robert E. Howard's Conan)--there's not enough outrage
directed at this obnoxious turkey. I saw Conan the Destroyer as
a kid and remember it as being pretty cool at the time. But upon
further and (somewhat) more mature review I found Conan the
Destroyer so bad as to defy description. I rate it only slightly
better than the D&D movie and in fact, in many ways it resembles
a bad session of my favorite role-playing game.  I don't mind
mindless action flicks as long as they're fun. Conan the
Destroyer is not. To make matters worse, there isn't even any
gratuitous sex and violence--Conan the Destroyer significantly
drops the level of bloodshed I c