Obama, King of the Haitian Post-Apocalypse  In the aftermath of
Haiti's devastating earthquake, Obama has emerged as a leading
criminal figure and "menacing underworld force" controlling a
"robbery empire," reports The Washington Post. No, no, not
President Obama—Haitian Gang Lord Kidnapper Obama.  The Haitian
Obama, who used to go by the name Ti Wilson, is one of several
thousand prisoners who escaped from Haiti's National
Penitentiary in the wake of January's quake. According to the
Post's sources, "Obama" controls a "kidnapping and robbery
empire," and has knocked off rival gang members, and former
police officers, with impunity. So, on balance, he is pretty
similar to the President, just more criminal, and less
democratically elected to the most powerful position on the
planet.  Most of his fellow escapees are also still at large:
"Obama" sleeps in a different place every night, and the group
tasked with hunting him down, hampered by the loss of records in
a prison fire, doesn't even have a picture of