  Wednesday, April 29, 2009  Things I May Never Be Accustomed To
In The South  Full-grown adult men with jobs, families, and a
mortgage who go by the diminutive form of their name. That is,
Billy, Bobby, Timmy, Tommy, Johnny, Jimmy, Davey, etc.  The
accents. Especially when emanating from a disciple in an
otherwise very professional and well-executed church play.
Imagine Larry the Cable Guy as Simon Peter asking "Is it I,
Lawd?" It's hard to not giggle. It's like someone from a
Tennessee Williams play reading the wrong script.  A "rough"
winter having temps that never dip below double digits.  A
"rough" winter not involving any snowfall whatsoever.  Gum. What
is it with gum down here? Everybody seems to chew gum - all the
time, in all places. Men and women, in church, in Wal-Mart, at
the symphony. Every. Damn. Where. Not just quiet, unobtrusive
chewing either. Big, open-mouth chawing.  Folks who move slow as
molasses. O.M.G. Walking, driving - doesn't matter. Tons of
people just not in any sort of rush to get