  Phrases to Avoid - Things NOT to Say to a Grieving Person  The
first time you see or talk to someone after they've lost a loved
one isn't easy for either of you. And while your friend isn't
expecting you to have the perfect words to magically relieve her
sadness, you still want to say the right thing. You're usually
safe if you keep it simple and heartfelt, but even the most
well-meaning people might have a verbal misstep when they mean
to comfort. Here are some phrases to avoid-and some sympathetic
alternatives.  "I know how you feel."  Repeat after me: "This is
NOT about me." We know you're trying to be helpful, but even if
you've lost someone of your own, grief is a personal thing.
Everyone deals with it very differently. There's no way for you
to know how your friend feels no matter how close you are.  Try
this:  "I can't imagine what you're going through."  This opens
the door to let them tell you how they feel and shows that you
realize their situation is one-of-a-kind. Be present and
supportive rathe