NYC Sucks for Tall, Short, Average Height People  Bill de Blasio
may be New York's tallest acquisition since Carmelo Anthony, but
height does not always bring happiness. You know that
precariously stacked tower of Raisin Bran at the corner deli?
The mayor may be able to pull the highest one down with ease,
but that doesn't mean he won't also become permanently blinded
by your murderous umbrella handling.  The New York Times, at the
behest of BdB height truthers everywhere, revealed the mayor's
height down to the eighth-inch—6-foot-5⅞—while explaining that
some elements of City Hall were being adjusted to accommodate de
Blasio's imposing stature. Notably, "a longer microphone stick
was added."  But the mayor doesn't speak for the whole melting
pot of NYC, no no. After surveying their readers, the Times
revealed that everyone is insecure about their shitty height.  A
6'7" reader: The subway is absolutely unrideable. A 5-foot elf:
Armpits are everywhere! A 5'6" man: Women won't date me, which
seems crazy, right?