Written by IainB  Print this  Thursday, 9 August 2012  image for
Cheese singles have very little cheese in them THIS is cheese.
It is round.  Cheese Singles, those flat yellow rectangles of
vaguely cheese tasting material are not, as advertised, cheese.
"After careful analysis of melting patterns under a hot grill,"
said professor of cheese, Adam Gouda, "we have concluded that,
at best, they are four percent cheese."  The rest of the
rectangle is made from used bubble wrap.  "Bubble wrap is a
popular material," said Gouda. "Many people use it to relieve
tension by popping the bubbles. But what then? What can you use
bubble wrap for when the bubbles have burst?"  According to
Gouda, used rectangles of bubble wrap are cut from huge sheets
of reclaimed bubble wrap and sprayed with a fine mist of
atomised cheese.  "Some of these companies advertise them as
cheese squares," said Gouda, "but even this is not right.
They're not square. In the interest of science, I measured one.
Definitely rectangular, by a good th