Crazy 'Us Weekly' GuyTM Explains His Master Plan  Last week, we
shared with you an email we received from a gentleman who from
here on out we shall refer to as Crazy Us Weekly GuyTM. The man
claimed that he communicated with God, his soulmate was a
Hollywood actress, and his goal was to be #2 at Us Weekly so
that he might present EIC Janice Min with his new "paradigm" for
the success of the magazine (additionally, if we put him in
touch, he'd bring us along at put us up at the top of the Us
masthead as well). Well, shit — we'd LURVE to be the person at
Us who scribbles the cute handwritten captions on the Just Like
US page ("They drink iced coffee!" "They buy groceries!"), so we
decided to take Crazy Us Weekly GuyTM up on his offer to explain
his grand plan.  That was probably a mistake.  In our inbox we
now have 9 emails with over 200 pages in attachments explaining
how he's meant to be with Jessica Alba, detailing his Guide to
God and destiny with Janice Min, and divulging his thoughts on
the future.  We're