Cheyenne Jackson's New Video Has Him Scared Straight  By: Daniel
Villarreal  In real life, actor Cheyenne Jackson is
unequivocally gay (thank goodness). But in the new video for his
song "Before You," he marries a woman. What??!!  No Cheyenne!!!
WHY???!!!! GET AWAY FROM HER! YOU WERE MEANT FOR US!!!!!!1!!
Ohh. Errr... ahem. Uhh.... sorry.  Actually, it's a cute song
and an even cuter video, so let's not blow a gasket over Mr.
Jackson playing it straight for 3 adorable minutes.  Instead,
let's psychologically interpret his video to see what we can
learn about the his mental state.  First, Jackson denies his
latent homosexuality by participating in the heteronormative
cultural ritual of proposing to his girlfriend.  Notice that he
retrieves the bouquet and ring from his picnic basket—"basket"
being a slang term for "male bulge" and a symbol for man's
primal urges which he keeps hidden away until he can no longer
deny his true appetite.  The more secrets and desires a basket
contains, Mr. Jackson, the heavier a