Britney Is Sober; Pentagon, Democrats And Eyesore Casino Town
Scramble To Fill National Embarrassment Void  Britney Spears
passed a drug test, making her officially temporarily boring, an
occasion TMZ today marked by posting in one of its nineteen
required daily Brit posts the sentence "Blah blah, phone, gum,
paps, blah, ding dang, blah, fans, cops, escort, blah y'all."
(Blahblah = the new Dada! Or something.) Anyway, fear not: there
were about 96 understudies for her recurring role in "What kills
more brain cells than reading about Britney Spears" today, and
that's without even mentioning the phrase "Larry Craig." I'm
starting with the mayor of Atlantic City, who disappeared two
weeks ago and today turned up in rehab after a summer plagued by
scandals stemming from the fact that he lied about being a Green
Beret. To his credit, the guy had won two bronze stars in two
separate stints in Vietnam, the "Special Forces" part was the
only embellishment — was that really necessary to be elected
mayor of Atlantic Fu