The Burning Beast Trilogy Ascends to Purgatory (Part Two)
Resident Evil.JPG This roast lamb is clearly evil; that's why it
ended up with such a gruesome fate in Hell. In part one of this
epic three-part saga about Burning Beast, I described my Dante-
esque descent into this culinary Hell (i.e., a grassy field in
Arlington, Wash.), where gluttony is the only sin. The first
Ring of Hell was home to blasphemers, and also those who dress
like total douchebags: Jason Wilson of Crush managed to commit
both sins at once. This is part two, in which we eat stuff
that's okay.  Once I'd finished the roast goat, we rejoined
everyone else in the Pac-Man maze of lines snaking around
between food tents. I was hungry for barbecue the way Pac-Man
hungers for both Power Pellets and the ethnic purity of the Pac
race. Pac-Man is a total racist. You can tell he's racist
because he alternately fears and wants to kill ghosts. Which is
why Pac- Man is in Hell: because he is a racist.  Waiting in
line was futile at times, especially