Marriage Negotiating Tips from FBI Top Negotiator  dog fight
morguefileI came across this Forbes article that gleaned
negotiation and communication tips from Gary Noesner, former
Chief Negotiator for the FBI, a man who talked many a deranged
individual out of their destructive plans, including David
Koresh.  I was intrigued by the concept of the Paradox of Power
he discusses. This means the harder you push, the more likely
you are to be met with resistance. I think we know this deep
down, and we display defensiveness and push-back when others
come at us in an attacking manner. Yet, we sometimes forget that
the key to a successful negotiation or outcome is often in the
way we approach our spouse or coworker or child or boss or
whomever we have an issue with. Instead of a calm, conciliatory
manner, we may approach in an angry or hostile manner.
Displaying power may work well in the animal kingdom to throw
off predators, but it doesn’t work too well in family life.
What works? Staying calm. Listening. Acknowled