  Me vs. ‘Sprint’  July 27, 2012 By Wes Burns , Times-Republican
My phone hasn't been working well.  Let me back up ... Thomas
Edison was a thief.  I think I backed up too far; let me try
that again.  Most inventors aren't who they claim to be. Thomas
Edison stole ideas from his former assistant Nicola Tesla, Steve
Jobs stole the first Mac operating system from Xerox and Vitaly
Abalakov stole all his ideas from me.  That was my V-thread
gearless ice climbing anchor Vitaly!  However, there is one
inventor who can claim all the fame due to him and his wondrous
inventions.  Englishman, inventor and late-night infomercial bon
vivant James Dyson is best known for inventing a vacuum that,
through some graphics of swirling wind, is better than a vacuum
with a dust bag.  Also the bladeless fan, which I?believe is
some kind of witchcraft.  Perhaps even more astounding than his
bagless vacuum is his simple claim that, "I believe things
should work."  Wouldn't that be nice - to live in a world where
the things I spend