Hang onto your dicks, America, because we, the USA Government,
after many hours of dueling press conferences and haughty
meeting walk-outs, after being forced to eat box lunch twice
last week, sans Doritos, have come to another deal. We've
brokered a deal. Pull the pistols out of your mouths. We've got
a deal, you dumb nerds.  First of all, we rode this stink bomb
right down to the point of no return, as per our usual. Because,
fuck it, why not? Right? This is what we live for. After toying
with the entire economy of the universe and all of your lives
once more we've reached a deal. We're pretty proud of it. It's
our worst one yet. Remember that last one we did where we cut
taxes for wall street bankers and gave everyone coupons for
Arby's? It's even worse than that. We guarantee this turd isn't
gonna make anybody happy and everything you love is gonna be a
little bit shittier than before the deal.  "It's a deal." - The
USA Government, in your stupid face.  God we love this. Makes
our titties hard.  You're pr