Kim Kardashian and Sisters Not-Kim and Not-Not-Kim Wear Some
Clothes for Money    Listen. [Clears throat.] No one is happier
than me to learn of yet another brand sponsorship. I don’t even
care what it is! If the fucking Ebola virus needs a celebrity
face, I will take great pains to ensure that my mother is that
rash-covered, hemorrhaging face. (Rot in hell, Teen Moms.) That
said, I do find it somewhat disconcerting to see my mother and
her sisters Not-Kim and Not-Not-Kim representing something I
have literally not even fucking heard of.  Two questions,
dearest notebook: Dorothy? Perkins?  Is it . . . a mid-tier
Kansas pancake house? A euphemism for a military-grade
antidepressant? A “Go Ask Alice”–type organization for drag
queens unsure of which classic Hollywood star to emulate? None
of the above. According to research dug up by my Ebola virus of
an assistant, Dorothy Perkins is, according to Wiki-
motherfucking-pedia, “large British women's clothing retailer,
active mostly in the United Kingdom.” Yes, I pa