Contradicting Contractions  This is for Timmer from Rehab, and
also I am making some good use of n7of9's post there about the
things I've learned from Twilight Fanfiction.  If you want to
know the origins behind this go to http://wide-awake-
rehab{dot}socialgo{dot}com and I can point you in the right
direction.  Disclaimer: SM owns all. Keep in mind throughout
reading, this is a crackfic. This is not meant for smut, lemons,
or any other kind of enjoyment but perhaps laughter and
wondering if you were on something while reading this. Mkay
thanks.  Labbits Disclaimer for me: No bitchy bitches should
read this!    I stared at my feet as I paced in front of the
door. What was taking her so long?  "Edward, can you go pace
somewhere else?"  Bella's voice was as full of as much
impatience as I was feeling.  "Are you alright in there? You're
taking a long time?" I urged pressing my ear to the door.  "God
damnit Edward!" she yelled, and I knew her raging hormones
wouldn't be able to handle much more of my badgering. "C