Dear Restaurants: Please Stop Playing Live Music
[Illustration: Robyn Lee]  Restaurants, we have to talk. You
remember back in college, there was always that guy with his
acoustic guitar who insisted on breaking up a party so he could
drunkenly play his stumbled rendition of Smoke on the Water?
Every time you host live music, you become that guy.  You know
when we're talking on the subway, and a group of teenagers shout
"It's Showtime!" and blare scratchy rap from their boombox for
the next two minutes, and by the time they're done collecting
donations we've completely forgotten what we were talking about?
You're doing the showtime thing.  Please stop.  Here is why I go
to restaurants: to eat good food with my friends and family and
engage in illuminating conversation with them about the issues
of the day.  That maybe-good, maybe-terrible band you're paying
peanuts to play in your dining room? Here's why they're there:
to be heard, and to sell CDs I guess.  As far as they're
concerned, the best way to acc