So... We talked.  MacAvity's picture  We're just going to stay
the way we were before. At least, as close as we can to the way
we were before. I hope it's exactly like we were before. Hope
things haven't gotten awkward, or at least won't stay awkward.
We both really, really hope that.  Everything we said last night
was true. It just doesn't lead in the same direction by day as
it does at one in the morning when she hasn't had her pill.
Still not sure if it was the midnight weirdness or the not-
taking-the-meds or what. Somehow that doesn't seem to make it
less real.  I don't know. I don't regret what happened last
night - except I do, 'cause it seems like it might be making
things awkward. I'm not disappointed that we're not - except I
am, sort of, 'cause I sort of wanted more, except not, 'cause
the idea of more was just as terrifying as it was appealing.
It's better this way. If 'this way' is how it was before. I
hope.  Hell who knows. I sure don't.  When we can share a bed
and cuddle again, I'll be happy.