Nicholas Kristof says, "Chinese has about two dozen expressions
for 'wife,' " but "most of the terms are unflattering" (On
Language: "Chinese Relations," Aug. 18).  In a recent visit to
China, I heard men referring to their wives as wode furen (my
esteemed consort). The word furen is normally reserved for
addressing ladies of distinction, such as Chiang furen (Madame
Chiang Kai-shek). It is a far cry from the egalitarian airen
(spouse, literally meaning "lover") in use since the Communist
government abolished the feudal-sounding xiansheng (husband) and
taitai (wife) some 40 years ago. I take this exaggerated
formality as a yearning among urban, educated Chinese for old-
time civility and decorum. NAILENE CHOU WIEST Ossining, N.Y.