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urinal protocol The unwritten, unmentioned male code of conduct
strictly governing behaviour in a public restroom.  Urinal
protocol dicktates (pardon the pun) that every male must make
due effort to accommodate a buffer urinal if possible. In
situations when a buffer urinal is not possible, the pissor must
engage in mindless, inane, random conversation with his fellow
piss-ees- a phenomenon known as urinal talk. The highest rule of
urinal protocol governs eye contact. Eyes must remain straight
ahead in a zombie-like stare, and finish with only a brief
glance downward (at your putz) during the final shake. While a
brief glance at the face of a fellow piss-ee is an acceptable
part of urinal talk, a 30 second jaw-agape stare at his dong is
un-cool. Similarly, while placing a hand on the wall above the
urinal to steady one's self is acceptable (especially when
drunk), placing one's hand on another's sholder is not too cool.
Urinal talk must never lead t