Alex, The Postmodernist   JENNY JONES: Boy, we have a show for
you today!  Recently, the  University of Virginia philosopher
Richard Rorty made the stunning declaration  that nobody has
"the foggiest idea" what postmodernism means.  "It would be 
nice to get rid of it," he said. "It isn't exactly an idea; it's
a word that  pretends to stand for an idea."  This shocking
admission that there is  no such thing as postmodernism has
produced a firestorm of protest around  the country. Thousands
of authors, critics and graduate students who'd  considered
themselves postmodernists are outraged at the betrayal.  Today
we have with us a writer-a recovering postmodernist-who
believes  that his literary career and personal life have been
irreparably  damaged by the theory, and who feels defrauded by
the academics who  promulgated it. He wishes to remain
anonymous, so we'll call him "Alex."   JENNY JONES TO ALEX:
Alex, as an adolescent, before you began  experimenting with
postmodernism, you considered yourself-what?   [