  Just a quick word of advice: skip this post. No, really, skip
it. It’s about people doing things with body parts and… well,
it’s not so much a body part as a body by-product. And no, not
poop. Or pee. I’d rather write about someone like Juan Manuel
Marquez drinking his own urine. Honestly, that’s more
appetizing. If you read ahead and are thoroughly disgusted, it
is your own fault. We warned you.  Robin van Persie (He’s not
clutching it in pain, he’s making sure nothing disgusting gets
rubbed onto it.)  A couple days ago, Arsenal lost striker Robin
van Persie to a nasty sprain in a friendly between the
Netherlands and Denmark. See, it’s ironic because getting your
ankle exploded isn’t friendly at all. Anyway. Now comes the
healing process, and while that’s expected to take 4-6 weeks,
van Persie’s wanting to get back sooner. So he’s pursuing
“alternative treatments,” which probably just means he’s getting
some acupuncture and–wait, what? Oh sweet Jesus, that’s not it
at all, there’s afterbirth involved. Oh G