The Real Reason Michael Phelps Won't Meet With the Pope  It's
not because he got high (as we all know, the Pope smokes dope).
The reason famous fish-person Michael Phelps won't meet with the
Nazi Pope is buried deep in his family history, as revealed on
his Wikipedia page.  It's all because of these seemingly
unimportant words, from the "Personal Life" section of his user-
generated biography: "His father, Fred Phelps...."  Michael
Phelps' father is Fred Phelps. Unless there is more than one
Fred Phelps in America, that means the Olympic champion
swimmer's father is the psychotic ruler of the Westboro Baptist
Church, and the creator of the famous slogan and website "God
Hates Fags" and its slightly lesser known campaign, "Priests
Rape Boys."  This is what Fred had the say on the occasion of
the death of Pope John Paul II:  Deal with it, you idolatrous
morons! The pope is in Hell. Westboro Baptist Church members are
competent expert witnesses, having picketed hundreds of Catholic
churches in all fifty states ov