The Cuter Video Game Characters Are, The More I Want To Kill
Them  I swear I'm gonna murder Toad. I hate everything about
him—his stupid smurfy hat, his dumb little smile, his goofy,
perky body language. I despise his goddam Marge Simpson voice,
and the way he yells "Rabo!" But most of all, I hate the way the
little fucker keeps nailing me with blue shells in Mario Kart 7
and snatching my lead away.  Over the years, I've played a lot
of mascot-themed competitive games—from Mario Kart to Super
Smash Bros. Brawl to Fuzion Frenzy. From game to game, one thing
remains consistent—I always wind up wanting to murder the cutest
characters. I'm actually starting to think that the characters
themselves are designed with this in mind. It's a bit of a
chicken/egg scenario: either they're built to be so cute so that
they can withstand our rage, or their cuteness is the thing that
brings out that rage in the first place. Maybe it's a bit of
both.  I should say up front here that I know I'm being a bit
silly. I'm not really