Hooking Up At Night In Central Park Is Every Bit As Foolish As
You'd Expect    So about two months ago, I went on a date with
"Mary" in Central Park. Mary and I had met each other via
OKCupid, and both of us were relatively new to the site, so it
was all awkward and adorable and stuff. Anyway, we end up going
to Central Park after I get off work, bout 6:30, and walk around
for awhile. She told me she'd brought a bottle of wine and a
blanket, so we should find a nice quiet spot. Around sunset, we
end up climbing up on top of this rock, relatively secluded. We
set up the blanket and she takes out the bottle.  Now, let me
mention that I've gotten open container tickets in NYC before,
so I know (oh god do I know) that it's illegal to drink in
public ANYWHERE in NYC. I assume Mary knows this as well
(foreshadowing motherfucker). So we get to drinking, polish off
nearly the whole bottle, and start hooking up. It starts to get
pretty R-Rated for public outdoors locale. And it goes on for a
long fucking time, past su