Q: I really don't like my friend's partner. What do I do?  A: As
they, you can't pick your parents-or the partners of your
friends and family. Too often you're "stuck" with frequent
contacts that include the partners of your siblings and friends-
and even you're your parents!  Oh, it's so hard and tiring to
hang out or "date' other couples in search of that elusive four-
person compatibility between you and your partner and your
friend and his or her partner. If only friendship and closeness
were easier.  The most typical complaints are that you have
nothing in common, you just don't particularly care for the
partner or that you sense that the partner has serious flaws
such as being abusive or alcoholic. What do you do? Just cringe
and bear it-and make sure not to sit near the person at the
Thanksgiving table? Or, do you speak up to your friend or family
member about the partner's destructive behavior? Of course,
every situation is different, but here are some guidelines.  1.
Stay in a loving mindset. You're up