Saturday, August 14, 2010  This is Why Everything Will Be OK  I
was having a pretty shitty week last week. Nothing serious––I
was mostly battling inconsequential White People Problems like
the barista messing up my order, or my American Apparel t-shirts
coming out of the laundry wrinkled. However, enough little
things had piled up to put me in a funk, and by Tuesday night
I'd had enough. I decided to go for a walk to clear my head.
Determined to pull myself out of my gloomy mood, I marched along
through the night, a bogus smiled plastered across my face...
...completely oblivious of the shovel in my path.   Yeah, right
in the crotch.  I wasn't aware stuff like that happened in real
life without the involvement of Bob Saget and a live studio
audience, but apparently the world is full of shovels just lying
in wait for an unassuming groin to brutally attack. Nobody is
safe. Nobody.  I hobbled home, tears welling up in my eyes,
loins throbbing with pain, and spent the rest of the night with
a bag of frozen veg