 Cracked Columnists  5 Facts About Thanksgiving Your History
Teacher Left Out  Everyone loves Thanksgiving, except some
Native Americans, wellness consultants and meth addicts disowned
by their families. So basically: New Mexico. But which
Thanksgiving do you celebrate? The one you learned in school? Or
-- BOOM! the one where all your illusions are stripped from your
screaming husk in the burning light of truth you thought you
wanted?  I'm glad you're still here. Put on a jockstrap; you're
about to get sacked in the Knowledge Bowl.   The Pilgrim Fathers
at the Plymouth Feast in 1621 weren't Puritans. They were
Brownist Separatists who suffered religious persecution because
their church taught that they should annoy the hell out of their
neighbors. They sneaked away to Amsterdam, only to discover it
contained Dutch people, so they set sail for Massachusetts (a
tribal word meaning "That's a lot of chusetts!"). They landed at
Plymouth Rock*, saving it to later land on Malcolm X.  If
Plymouth rocks, does that mea