Sharing the Load  The amount of mental and physical work
required to raise a family is staggering, whether it's painting
your baby's bedroom or – 18 years later – helping her pack for
college. Without supportive communities, the work of raising
children mainly lands on Mom and Dad, pushing them into
Condition Yellow even when they have a strong partnership. If
either does less than his or her share, the other one is shoved
toward Condition Red: more to do, less time to sleep or eat
right, more guilt over not keeping every ball in the air, more
dismay and resentment and anger. Compounding things, the parent
who is dropping one end of the log may have the audacity to
wonder, "Why don't we ever talk/go to the movies/make love
anymore?"  Many couples share with equality the work of making a
family, handling Condition Yellow with tenacity, skill, and
grace. But that's the exception, and the rule tilts mainly
against women, as the following list shows.    • Tasks. The
average mother works altogether 15 to 20 hours