Wednesday, May 30, 2012   The Essential Pocket Guide to Monster
Survival    Class: Unidentified organic mass   Summary:
Globster” is a term used to describe unidentifiable, seemingly
dead carcasses that wash up on seashores. That this phenomenon
is so common as to need its own name, and that that name is
“globster,” is really all you need to know. In 2003, the 14-ton
Chilean Blob globster motionlessly and silently terrorized a
nation — onlookers probably reported feeling as though the mass
was “looking at [them], seriously, get it awayyyeeee.” In this
one particular case, scientists allegedly found that DNA from
the blob matched that of a sperm whale, but ask yourself:
wouldn’t it be clever of globster monsters to mimic the DNA of
natural animals?  How to Survive: It doesn’t take a water
scientist to guess that the main reason globsters come to land
is because they’re looking for human blood. You should be
staying 100 yards from any coastline, at minimum, at all times.
Especially while menstruating. What non-