Christians Super Pissed about Possible Jesus Penis  Is that a
distended abdomen, or are You just happy to see me, Lord?
Oklahoma churchgoers are not very pleased with a new crucifix
that appears to grant Jesus a rather sizable dick. Crucifixion?
More like "Cruci-dick-tion," am I right?  As though the Catholic
Church doesn't have enough to worry about! Apparently, several
worshippers have parted ways from the church, thanks to the
penis-Christ:  "There are a couple people who have left the
parish," said the Rev. Philip Seeton, the church's pastor.
"There are people in the parish who don't like it and have
stayed."  Critics of the crucifix take issue with what appears
to be a large penis covering Jesus' abdominal area. Seeton said
the portion of the crucifix in question is meant to be Jesus'
abdomen "showing distension" - not a penis.  Like we always used
to say—"No, no, that's not a boner—it's just my abdomen showing
distention."  [News OK; thanks to BullfightsOnAcid for the tip]