Sunday, October 31, 2010  It's Halloween, my favorite holiday.
Tonight we celebrate the dead and the undead. We pretend to
believe that the undead are alive. But most of know, deep in our
black hearts, that the dead are not undead, they are un-
alive...which means...are you ready...they are DEAD! Do you hear
me, you superstitious fools? Do you wish to be undead when you
die? Would you want to drag your crumbling corpse out of its
comfy coffin and go gallivanting around the graveyard and
scaring the living to death? Okay, I admit that it beats just
lying there forever, with nothing to do but rot, but we have to
be realistic here. Like, how the hell are you going to lift the
lid of that coffin, when it's got six feet of heavy dirt piled
on top of it, even if you do happen to be undead? Hm? Give up?
Now I suppose you're going to trot out the old "spirit"
business. "The spirit lives on, though the body decays." I'm
sorry, sonny, but I'd rather drink my spirits than communicate
with them. I do admit that sometimes