The Malcontent on: Pigeons  Why do pigeons think they’re better
than us? They have nests, feathers, and droppings. We have
satellites, nuclear submarines, and Sherlock. In every
conceivable sense, a human is better than a pigeon. Now, I
confess I’m hardly the manifestation of physical perfection –
indeed, I often get out of breath brushing my teeth – but I
reckon I could best even the most athletic pigeon in any
challenge. Intelligence, strength, endurance… we are superior.
So why is it that, whenever you walk down a street, there’s
always some smug ball of feathery pretentiousness glaring at you
with an air of natural superiority?  They seem to delight in
terrorising humanity. They strut in front of advancing people,
only to fly away at the last possible second, screeching in glee
at their own brilliance. Great swarms of them group on
buildings, heckling passers-by, glorying in their pathetic
pigeon-banter, before descending like feathered Stuka dive-
bombers to rain excrement on their unfortunate victims. Th