Last word  I'm not very well today. Honest ...  [Hoarse voice]:
Hi. Listen, I'm really sorry about this but [cough, cough] I
can't do my back page thing today. I'm not very well. I don't
know what it is exactly [queasy pause], probably a combination
of things, but certainly nothing to do with the fact that today
(by which I mean yesterday, if you follow me) is (was) the first
Monday in February, the most popular day of the year, according
to a survey, for being off sick when there isn't anything wrong
with you. This is just a coincidence [sniff].  Malingerers
ascribed their motives to bad weather, post-Christmas blues, a
reluctance to take paid leave so early in the year and yes, it's
true, all those things are affecting me at the moment, but it
also happens to be a time of year when people get genuinely ill.
I think I must have one of those two viruses that are going
round, the ones all the school kids are getting. Actually I
think I have both of them.  It's not as if I wanted to get out
of writing today (ye