  by Erik Deckers American Reporter Humor Writer Indianapolis,
Indiana May 27, 2010 Make My Day  Back to home page  Printable
version of this story  BRADENTON, Fla., May 25, 2010 5:30PM ET
-- Have you ever wielded one of those little New Year's Eve
noisemakers that roll out and straighten as you blow your heart
out at midnight?  That's what we need in the Gulf of Mexico - a
mile-long roll of heavy duty plastic sheeting, carefully
stitched and sealed to form a circular tube about 36 inches in
diameter, with a strong roller at the center and a heavy-duty
rubber band - or any workable closure - at the business end.
The force of the gusher won't stop you from setting the closure
at the bottom because it will already be starting to fill out
the tube, dissipating that energy upwards, as you fit it over
the broken drill pipe.  You get a submersible, guide the roll
down with cables holding the roller as it descends, and then
with robotic arms fit the closure ring over the broken pipe-end.
As soon as the oil begins t