Simon Hoggart's sketch  Smile, though your party's breaking
Gordon Brown walked into his press conference wearing an
alarming smile. It was wide and cavernous and was no doubt
supposed to make him seem relaxed and assured. In fact, it
looked as if aides had fixed him up with one of those clamps
that dentists use to keep your mouth wide open. Then they had
tugged it out and said: "Just hold it there for 20 seconds,
prime minister!"  Then the grimace collapsed and he resumed his
normal apprehensive frown, like a nail-chewer who's realised
that he's down to the cuticles and will soon be working on
bloodied stumps.  He had decided to take the problem of the
corrupt donations head-on. They had been "completely
unacceptable". All the money would be returned.  Of course, it
was like nearly all political apologies. He was responsible, but
not to blame. It was less a "mea culpa" than a "everybody else
culpa."  He had set up an inquiry (Gordon Brown sets up
inquiries at roughly the rate some of us have a snack.) One o