Let Me Introduce Myself: Farewell to Mobutu Sese Seko  1. I
Doxxed Myself (Because I Am Just A Cloud)  My name is Jeb Lund,
I am a 35-year-old married WASP, and it was never my plan to
become a deceased African dictator.  I am childless, Godless
and, when my friends want to bust on me, evidently chinless. I
have all of my hair but can't grow a beard. A Californian by
birth, I came to south Florida in 1997 to study history at New
College and have essentially never left. I am neither Congolese,
nor was I born in 1930. I have never received checks for
hundreds of millions in the Oval Office from John Kennedy,
Lyndon Johnson, Richard Nixon, or Ronald Reagan. I have never
had a political dissident tortured in a soccer stadium in front
of me. The only things I have in common with the late Mobutu
Sese Seko Kuku Ngbendu waza Banga are a fondness for Elvis
Costello's glasses and the occasional need to walk with a cane.
Unplanned events have been fairly good to me. I lucked into
going to the ideal college for my tempe