  The 7 Most Retarded Criminal Excuses of All Time  As cops love
to tell us, they've heard 'em all. They even have standard issue
cop cliches to tell you they know you're full of shit, such as
"Tell that to the judge, pal" and "Anything you say can be used
against you in a court of law."  And then there are those
excuses that leave cops unable to muster even a slightly
grizzled retort, where the only proper response is
uncontrollable laughter. We're talking about excuses like:
Secret Agent Hobo  The day started like any other day for the
Saratoga Police Department: Some transient was drinking in the
street and was soundly arrested. Things took a turn, however,
when the man claimed to be part of a top secret Australian
covert ops unit. We're not sure which secret agency requires you
to drink in public and tell the first people you meet all about
it, but suspect it's not a very good one. (Also, we would like
to humbly submit our resumes for consideration.)  Agent Marshall
Cartwright's secret espionage gear inc