Dear Fireman Ed: F-U-C-K Off! Off! Off!  In case you missed it,
unofficial Jets mascot Fireman Ed, whose claim to fame is going
to Jets games and spelling one word very loudly, "retired"
yesterday. And the best part is that he retired because people
at the stadium were just too darn mean to him:   But you are.
You're quitting right now, if you can call "deciding to not be a
jackass in public" a kind of quitting. Do you want me to pat you
on the back for not leaving a Jets game before? This isn't
Afghanistan. You don't get extra credit for sticking around.
Gee, funny how the decline of civilization became too much for
you to stand at the exact moment your team was falling behind
35-0, and while the guy whose jersey you wear was perpetrating
the single most clownish fumble in the history of football.
Quitter.  But yes, golly, what's the world coming to when a
grown man can't ruin everyone else's good time by sitting on
another guy's shoulders and blocking everyone's view? I FEAR FOR
OUR CHILDREN'S FUTURES. Du