The season six premiere of Toddlers & Tiaras was chilling in
bizarre and unprecedented ways, because I'm pretty sure 9-year-
old Hailey had never met the jittery, winking gay man who
introduced himself as her father before filming her episode.
Dads with flamboyantly kept secrets are nothing new for Toddlers
& Tiaras. Some of the episodes' most clip-able moments have come
from fathers who seem to be more invested in pageantry than
their wives or daughters. The thing is, the relationship between
these parents and their children is usually warm and
affectionate.  Even when the kids and parents fight—in one
episode, a little girl asked her Mommy if she could tell her a
secret, then leaned in and whispered "I hate you"—you get the
sense that they are fighting because they know one another. That
little girl hates her mother for a reason.  Not so last night.
Throughout the episode, fair, red-headed Hailey interacted with
the burnt sienna, frosted tipped man who introduced himself as
her "father" in the manner of a