A/N: This rather odd story is the result of a holiday challenge
at dw_straybunnies, as I thought it would be rather fun to see
how many of the 12 prompts I could shoehorn into one tale.  This
included Ace with a girl (in this case, Rani), vampires, evil
giraffes, something about Welsh myths, Eleven being threatened
by Care Bears, Sarah Jane and the Doctor with an octopus in the
TARDIS bathtub, Two with Martha, Evelyn Smythe, Six meeting
Rani, the Meddling Monk, Frobisher and it being set in an
ancient Earth civilization, in this case Egypt. Oy. A couple of
these are mere cameos, but they're all in there. Really.  The
Giraffe Convolution of Doom   "Professor? Professor! Pro-
fesssss-orrrr!" Ace called. It was no use. She'd been looking
for the Doctor for some time now and had already gone through
panic and annoyance to simple resignation that he would only
show up when he was good and ready to. They hadn't been dealing
with anything hostile, in fact he had been giving her a chance
to just relax and look around