Never AgainYou're really huffing and puffing on the toilet to
the point where a few drops of sweat slide down your crack as
you squeeze one out. And then, after a few minutes, the water
ripples and then it's quiet. You thoughtlessly grab a wad of
toilet paper and wipe. Top to bottom, bottom to top, the
sideways shuffle, it doesn't matter. Just going through the
motions at this point, you press the thin paper against your
skin, completely unaware of the magic your ass just made.  When
you finish wiping, you, out of noble and scientific curiosity,
pull the toilet paper out to check the status. Expecting a
smudge, a streak, a spot or two, you lift the paper up, and what
you see is shocking. You stare at the toilet paper, slightly
crumpled, but still perfectly white, and in the confusion, you
lift it up to your nose. Smells clean. But how? Nonsensical.
Preposterous. There must be something wrong. User error. Perhaps
you missed. So, just to double check, you swipe the wad through
your ass again, pressing harder, d