I'm feeling the distance between Rudy and I. It feels very, very
wide, with no view of closing the gap. The three thousand plus
mile gap. Once or twice, I have had a vision of me falling flat
on my face. That my stoic attitude will get the best of me, and
crumble, causing me to let go emotionally, and not be able to
hold my head up high and deal with our distant situation. It's a
fear of having no control over my feelings, which would then
question the value of independence, and what being independent
really means.  Both of us are fiercely independent, which
allowed us to agree to this situation. Ironically,  it's that
independence that causes the disconnectedness I sometimes feel.
On the one hand, the distance, the not seeing each other
regularly, has solidified our relationship, more so than we even
thought possible. As a couple, living together, we tended to
take each other for granted, just assumed the other would always
be there. Rudy did his thing. I did mine.  Yet, on the other
hand, the distance puts