Friday, April 07, 2006  Beaking News: Movies Not Screened for
Critics Not Very Good  Rotten Tomatoes does the math: The
record-breaking number of movies not screened for critics in
2006 average only 11 percent positive ratings, and occupy all 10
of the worst-reviewed films of the year slots.  Apparently, the
whole of the studio system is terrified that the following
exchange will take place within the coveted teen and young adult
demographic: Teen No. 1: "Man, am I ever stoked to be first in
line to see ("Date Movie"/ "Underworld: Evolution"/ "The
Benchwarmers," etc.)! This film will certainly be off the chain!
Oh look, there's my friend!"  Teen No. 2 (running, looking
frantic): "Bad news, homie. David Denby, Andrew Sarris, AND
Stephanie Zacharek all dissed ("Date Movie"/ "Underworld:
Evolution"/ "The Benchwarmers," etc.). They say it's really
stupid."  Teen No. 1: "Curses! I'm getting out of the line for
this movie, and I shall not be seeing it on its opening weekend.
Dear fellow, perchance is 'The Best of Y