Verlyn Klinkenborg Must Be Stopped  Despite very specific
instructions by us to cease and desist with his nature-based
musings, designated New York Times leaf-and-cow columnist Verlyn
Klinkenborg continues to invade the Sunday op-ed section with
some of the world's most artisanal writing. None of which has
anything to do with anything.  Here is the topic upon which
Verlyn mused yesterday: mud. I am not even fucking with you.
Amid news of war, politics, and sociopolitical drama, Verlyn
Klinkenborg parachuted in from Walden or whatever Platonic Ideal
of a Gentleman Farmer's Acreage he lives on to inform the world
that "I have not lost a boot to the suction of the barnyard
swamp."  Look. Verlyn. Look, man. I am not an anti-intellectual.
I am not anti-literary. Cows, birds, seasons, and shit like that
— it has its place. If you want to live in a sap-rich
environment and spend your time meditating upon the whistle of
the westerly wind through the willows as the whipporwills
warble, then do it. Quietly, at home, in