Worthwhile Reads: Patriarchy is all the same  Patriarchal
marriage and “responsibility” on A Sober Second Look  But most
of the interpretations of the Qur’an and of Islamic law that we
encountered when we first converted did not (and would never
have) used the word “patriarchal” to describe their vision of
the “ideal” Muslim marriage. Nor did they put much stress on the
duty of the wife to obey the husband. Instead, they focused on
the idea that the family (supposedly, like every other
social institution) needs a leader, or it will collapse. So
therefore, the family needs someone who will take on the
responsibility of casting the deciding vote in cases where the
husband and wife cannot agree. They also talked about how women
and children need to be protected and provided with the
necessities of life, so men (again) have been given the
responsibility to do this, which is why it is “only fair” that
the husband rather than the wife is the head of the household.
This vision of how a Muslim marriage “should” work