steve-guttenberg.jpgFrom the calm of the TCA's rehearsed
answers, publicist-penned soundbites, and bland programming
executivespeak emerged a new, non-sequitur-spewing hero, one
that seemed more interested in discussing bagging jailbait than
yakking about his role on Veronica Mars or his NBC remake of The
Poseidon Adventure. That hero's name?  Steve. Fucking.
Guttenberg. followed around The Erstwhile Officer Mahoney
(disclaimeth the Zappers: "While Guttenberg's wisdom may produce
laughter, its reproduction in this space isn't meant to imply
that the 'Zeus and Roxanne' thespian was stoned, inebriated or
otherwise out of his gourd at the NBC party." Riiiiight.) and
dutifully recorded his wisdom for posterity:  Guttenberg on
accidents on the "Poseidon" set: There was a time when my chair
wasn't near the catering table. My chair was near the camera,
where I don't like to be. And I stamped my foot in a fire ant
mountain and there were fire ants and I got bit ... You've gotta
eat them before they eat you.  Guttenbe