Wednesday, December 1, 2010  Oh, Doctor....Are You Sure You Cut
The Cord?  Alexander, on his 1st birthday I can't even look at
this picture today, without my throat getting tight on me. It's
a picture of my now oldest, who was one on the day this picture
was snapped. He is 15 now.  I had dressed him in his first grown
up clothes that day: a navy blue polo shirt and pleated, pressed
khaki pants. He looked just like his dad, and his dad was
beaming. I was beaming at finally having my baby, at 36 years
old.  Looking at my three boys' baby pictures kills me, anyway--
I don't know why I do it---torture myself that way, but, I do.
Anyway, today...this picture is killing me.  Since the first
second I became their mother, I was transformed into their very
own "Ripley." I was untouchable, unbeatable and nothing stood in
my way when protecting my children.  It became what I lived for,
without question, and I rose up to meet my role. When they cried
at night, I'd swoop down and lift them and felt as if I were
rescuing th