A wag wedding planner  Screw sugared almonds. Coleen and Wayne's
guests will each receive a handmade box containing a live
butterfly, which they'll release simultaneously, to symbolise
their soaring love. Romance to the power of n! It's touches like
this, little nuggets of natural class, that you, the wedding
planner, will dream up.  You're a combination of greed, loyalty,
efficiency and glucose, like a pink Smart car or Mariah Carey
after an interpersonal-communication training exercise.  You're
responsible for the £5m budget and the magazine deal, flirting
with publishers to ensure your couple get the wedge they
deserve. Your voice won't break when herding Westlife onstage
after the speeches, nor will it whine when you're called to
delicately explain to the more nipple-flashy family members why
their invitations direct them to a small room under a pub in
Croxteth where they're serving Cheeky Vimtos and Quavers, and
the happy couple is there only in spirit.