G.I. Joke  A real-life Yossarian on the comic efficiency of a
soldier's life in Iraq  BAGHDAD, IRAQ—The Iraqi people don't
have to tell me what it's like to live in a dictatorship. I've
spent over 16 years in the Army. "Listen up, today, your
favorite color is blue. Any people you run across who are trying
to kill Americans are to be referred to as 'anti-Iraqi forces.'
You are quite fond of pistachio-flavored ice cream. If you
capture a weapons cache, you will pronounce cache 'cash-ay' and
not 'cash'—we suspect that word may be French."  When you live
in a world where standards and attention to detail might mean
your life and, of equal importance, your best friend's life
(after all, he has your back), the chain of command likes to
know, way before anything happens, what our response to any
given scenario might be. This is also important so that the
people who plan things can know what to say when an angry and
impatient superior officer looks over the top of her glasses at
your fancy presentation software slid