"Dig Down" to Identify Primary Needs  Most people cause and
endure relationship stress by focusing on surface needs, and
avoiding responsibility for filling their primary needs. This is
specially likely for people whose personality is ruled by a
false self. Inner focus and true-Self leadership allows "digging
down" through four levels of awareness to identify primary needs
and who they "belong" to:  1)  Denials - I have no false-self
wounds and no problem (unmet needs) now.  BlameI have no wounds
- and I do have a (surface, secondary) problem which you must
fix.  3)  Semi-aware - I have no psychological wounds, and I am
half  responsible for my (surface) problem. You must fix the
other half.  4) Aware - I am wounded and I am fully responsible
for identifying and filling my primary needs.  more detail