The star system for rating movie quality is predicated on the
idea that every film possesses at least some merit. Showgirls
has Gina Gershon channeling Tura Satana; Shakes the Clown, the
ineffable Bobcat Goldthwaite; even Tarzan and the Lost City
features a more or less constantly shirtless Casper Van Dien.
But there is a greater and greater number of movies for which
even half a star seems too generous, while others practically
call out for a negative unit of measurement to warn viewers
away. As the revived Star Wars series concludes its second
trilogy, I can think of no better name for this new unit than
the Lucas (I know it’s traditional to use first names for this
sort of thing, but under present circumstances “George” is
loaded with too many negative connotations, even for the man who
saddled the world with Howard the Duck).   A Lucas I (a.k.a.
“The Phantom”) shall hereafter denote the lowest common
denominator in moviemaking banality. Like its title, its
expensive but uninspired special effects and one-