Wednesday, December 21, 2011  An Agent's Inbox #20  Dear Mystery
Agent,       VEGA is a YA Fantasy novel complete at 100,000
words.   Thank you so much for your time and consideration.
Bonnie R. Paulson said...  Hi J.K.  I like the premise behind
the story. It sounds fun.  But I think the query is too long.
You could probably pare down a lot of it since it seems like
there is a little bit of redundancy going on throughout.
Actually, I loved the excerpt a TON. Great voice. It'd be
awesome to see more of that in the query.  Good job!  Ru said...
I like your sample a lot more than your query, which I think
needs to be tightened up.  1. I would take out "who happen to be
beautiful," because it's not very informative (this is YA, I
already know she's probably going to fall for at least one boy)
and it's a little bland. She likes them because they're
beautiful? (This may just be my beef, since "girl falls in love
with guy because he's hot" is my number one YA cliche pet peeve,
so feel free to disregard thi