Too Fat to Be in Your Friend's Wedding? Then Your Friend Is a
Bitch.   I was married last year and had my close friend (of
about 15ish years) in my bridal party. Now she's engaged. I
found out about her engagement through Facebook, and I found out
that I wasn't in her bridal party through an email. Now,
normally not being in a bridal party would not unhinge me, but
the email from my friend also included the reason why I wasn't
going to be standing with her as she married: I am too fat and
too pale. Her specific quote: "I have friends that take pride in
they're (sic) appearance. Our wedding is beach-themed and I want
all my girls to look fit and tan. The dresses I picked are
strapless and only look good on thin girls."  Here's the
conundrum: how do I decline her invitation? Yes, she actually
invited me! Do I go to the wedding and then belly-flop into
their cake during the first cut, nomming my fat face through the
fondant and plastic bride and groom statues? We have mutual
friends that I don't think know about