  British Airways would like to know the age of your instrument
(before telling you to sod off)  Our friend and village
neighbour Steven Isserlis wrote to his national carrier a while
back, wondering why it refused to credit his cello with air-
miles for a fully-paid seat and did not allow him to pay for the
seat with his own accumulated points. Virgin, United, even
Delta, he pointed out, now permit that.  British Airways replied
with a set of rules, ending: I’m afraid membership to the
Executive Club is only available to individuals over the age of
18.  Steven, quick as a flash, wrote back: I can assure you that
my cello is over the age of 18 – in fact, he is 286 years old;
so I do not see that as a valid reason for his not collecting
BA Executive Club miles.  And this is what he got by way of
airlines assurance:  Dear Mr Isserlis   Keith Williams has asked
me to thank you for your letter about using your Avios.  I hope
you will understand, due to his responsibilities, it is not
always possible for him to per