Reviews for Red and Black checkbookstub chapter 1 . 8/18/2007
Here via the yahoo group youngwriters101. This is just my
opinion of course, and by no means are you obligated to change
for me. If we all wrote the same, the world of literature would
be a very boring place indeed. I try to give reasons for every
point I make. If you disagree, please, feel free to argue your
case.  Lighting is a great way to set a mood. You mention the
first room is "dark and poor" - would elaborating on the light
source add anything? Same with the bathroom, when she turns on
the light. What is the actual fixture? And in the madman's place
later, you mention that he's blocked most of the light, but he's
still able to see things. Is the light that gets through enough
to illuminate things? Can you make that clearer?  You have a
tense change in there, right here:  She reached into a lower
drawer of the vanity and took out a pair of long, loose rubber
gloves, the kind farmers use to help give cows in calving. The
rubber clings to itse