Turnin away from desire  ... we’re less likely actually to be
having sex, and we’re certainly not talking about it.  Turning
away from desire ... we’re less likely to be having sex, and
we’re certainly not talking about it.  Almost as soon as couples
sit side by side on the sofa in my therapy room, they start to
pour out the details of their latest rows, each other's bad
habits, miserable childhoods and mutual recriminations. It's
easy to get caught up in the drama acted out in front of me and
to forget to ask about the one subject that they almost never
volunteer: sex. And when I do bring up the state of their love
life, they exchange embarrassed glances, as if asking each
other's permission to speak.    However, when I probed deeper,
neither Sarah nor Jake could remember the last time they had had
sex. It soon became clear they were in what sex therapists call
a "sex-starved relationship" - which means less than 10 times a
year. (Low sex is defined as only every other week.) Worse
still, their love life had