Wednesday, August 24, 2011  Hamster Charged In Brutal
Murder/Over-rated Musicians BY JEFF KONKLE Hamster Charged In
Brutal Murder A 2-year-old mother Hamster has been charged with
filial cannibalism after partial remains her baby's body was
found buried in the woodchips near the water-bottle in August.
Sunshine the Hamster will appear to defend the charges in
District Court tomorrow. Last month the baby's father, Balthazar
the Hamster, pleaded guilty to concealing the digested remains.
Balthazar's lawyer said he accepted his role, but had no
knowledge of anything Sunshine had allegedly done to the child
because he too busy spinning on the red wheel and storing seeds
as is typical during breeding season. "She had like eight babies
in that litter," Balthazar said during proceedings. "I had no
idea she ate one of them until it was too late." Police believe
the baby was born on July 26 - a week before his body was
discovered. They said they found the grave after being tipped
off by Bertram, the goldfish on the ni