Everything That Happens at Williamsburg Pool Freighted With
Heavy Sociocultural SignificanceS  Generally speaking, no
mischief perpetrated by teenagers is "news." Teenagers not
perpetrating mischief is news. This is because—no matter what
race, creed, nationality, or socioeconomic stratum they come
from—teenagers are punks. Do not, however, tell this to the New
York Times. They have a very incisive sociological story to
write.  The borough of Brooklyn has 17 public pools. The newest
is McCarren Pool, which just opened on the border of Greenpoint
and Williamsburg. Hey—did someone say Greenpoint and
Williamsburg? **SIRENS** You've won an automatic news story
linking even the most inconsequential event to broader themes of
gentrification and hipsterism! Yessssss!  The McCarren Pool has
been open about a week, and there have been two incidents: first
some kids attacked a lifeguard. Then some kids punched a cop.
What do these incidents have in common? Kids, being idiots. If
every incident of a kid doing some idiot