1. Accept that some things may never change.  “A trainer thinks
twice about teaching an animal something that goes against its
instinct—good luck getting a raccoon not to wash its food,” says
Sutherland.  2. Ignore the behavior you don’t want.  If a
trainer asks for a flip but gets a jump, he responds with a
head-to-toe poker face, because any reaction reinforces the
behavior. “Whenever my husband’s temper flared, I used to jump
in,” admits Sutherland. “But my response just fueled his
temper.” Exercise self-control at moments like this and he’ll
look for new (hopefully positive) ways to get your attention.
3. And make sure to compliment the behavior you do want.
Remember, the bigger the effort he makes, the bigger the reward
should be.  4. Don’t blame yourself when he behaves badly.  Good
animal trainers don’t take it personally when an elephant won’t
sit and stay—behavior is just behavior. “I had to stop asking
myself why my husband was doing something to me, and instead ask
why was he doing it. I realized