The Long National Nightmare Is Not OverNever were so many
loathed so much by so few. I'm talking about shoes here, people:
the scourge of grotesque, pestilential, monstrous, outlandish
footwear that the nation — nay, the world —- seems to have
embraced without a murmur of protest. It started with the
gladiator sandal, which quickly mutated into the gladiator boot,
which spawned a million vile booties, which became foot-
swallowing anamorphic pumps. Is there no end?The Observer blames
the bootie on Los Angeles, and advises that the optimal look for
the season is one "that make you look like a sexy Martian." They
add that, "we love ankle boots, hopeful shoes for hopeful
times." Ankle boots themselves are inoffensive enough, of
course. But the openworked, studded, bejeweled, toe-baring
monstrosities stalking our streets today are to the utilitarian
ankle boot what A.N. Roquelaure is to Anne Rice: a scary and
unfamiliar mutation. It's not just that every single shoe out
there is a hideous object, some kind of kine