The walking, talking ashtray that is Abby Lee Miller returned to
our television sets last night on the season premiere of Dance
Moms. She's still screaming, she's still bitching, and she's
still accusing her students' parents of being bad moms. Having
had a taste of reality television success, Abby knows that she
has to amp up the drama, so she decided to tell one working
mother that she needs to quit her job in favor of attending her
daughter's dance rehearsals. Yes, it's ridiculous, but really,
no more ridiculous than said mother keeping her child at Abby's
studio. We've already questioned why these moms subject their
children to Abby, but now we're wondering why they subject
themselves to her. The answer, of course, is obvious: to be on
television. The horror these people suffer at the hands of Abby
is worse than that of the contestants on Fear Factor. I'd rather
eat bull testicles than have to listen to that beast rasp about
how she had to learn about menstruation from her father.