Read the following paragraph and answer the question. Give ONLY the answer, no other words or explanation.

For example:

Answer: <most likely answer, as short as possible>.

Paragraph: I wanted to catch the contagious disease he has , however I kept on faking that smile every time he saw me . Crying out these unwanted feelings and emotions hurted so much , especially when he saw me once and decided to try to cheer me up . Happy people like him made me more unhappy , I envied what they had and what I did n't have . I finally locked the entrance of my heart to ease the pain , only to find out that I lost the key to open it .

Question: What may be a fact about the speaker ?
They are unable to have happy thoughts .
The speaker envied happy people and wanted to catch a contagious disease.