five o'clock
And meanwhile I felt ... Would you care to hear a slight psychological analysis of my emotions at that moment ? in the first place I was tortured by the thought that it was not I that was loved , not I that as making Varia suffer : secondly , I was delighted at her confidence ; I knew she would be grateful to me for giving her an opportunity of expressing her sorrow : thirdly , I was inwardly vowing to myself to bring Kolosov and Varia together again , and was deriving consolation from the consciousness of my magnanimity ... in the fourth place , I hoped , by my self-sacrifice , to touch Varia 's heart ; and then ... You see I do not spare myself ; no , thank God ! it 's high time ! But from the bell-tower of the monastery near it struck five o'clock ; the evening was coming on rapidly . Varia got up hastily , thrust a little note into my hand , and went off towards the house . I overtook her , promised to bring Andrei to her , and stealthily , like a happy lover , crept out by the little gate into the field . On the note was written in an unsteady hand the words : To Andrei Nikolaevitch .