About midnight
His soul was shaken to the foundations ; desperate , beside himself , incapable of any thought but that he was the most miserable man on earth -- that his father 's curse had blighted him -- that nothing could undo what had happened -- that some cruel and inexorable power had turned his truest friend into a foe and had sundered them so completely that there was no possibility of atonement or of moving him to a word of pardon or a kindly glance -- he paced the long room from end to end , flinging himself on his knees at intervals before the divan , and burying his burning face in the soft pillows . From time to time he could pray , but each time he broke off ; for what Power in Heaven or on earth could unseal those closed eyes and stir that heart to beat again , that tongue to speak -- could vouchsafe to him , the outcast , the one thing for which his soul thirsted and without which he thought he must die : Pardon , pardon , his father 's pardon ! Now and then he struck his forehead and heart like a man demented , with cries of anguish , curses and lamentations . About midnight -- it was but just twelve hours since that fearful scene , and to him it seemed like as many days -- he threw himself on the couch , dressed as he was in the dark mourning garments , which he had half torn off in his rage and despair , and broke out into such loud groans that he himself was almost frightened in the silence of the night . Full of self - pity and horror at his own deep grief , he turned his face to the wall to screen his eyes from the clear , full moon , which only showed him things he did not want to see , while it hurt him . His torture was beginning to be quite unbearable ; he fancied his soul was actually wounded , riven , and torn ; it had even occurred to him to seize his sharpest sword and throw himself upon it like Ajax in his fury -- and like Cato -- and so put a sudden end to this intolerable and overwhelming misery . He started up for -- surely it was no illusion , no mistake-the door of his room was softly opened and a white figure came in with noiseless , ghostly steps .