noon
For me , the watches of that long night passed in ghastly wakefulness ; strained by dread : such dread as children only can feel . No severe or prolonged bodily illness followed this incident of the red - room ; it only gave my nerves a shock of which I feel the reverberation to this day . Yes , Mrs. Reed , to you I owe some fearful pangs of mental suffering , but I ought to forgive you , for you knew not what you did : while rending my heart-strings , you thought you were only uprooting my bad propensities . Next day , by noon , I was up and dressed , and sat wrapped in a shawl by the nursery hearth . I felt physically weak and broken down : but my worse ailment was an unutterable wretchedness of mind : a wretchedness which kept drawing from me silent tears ; no sooner had I wiped one salt drop from my cheek than another followed . Yet , I thought , I ought to have been happy , for none of the Reeds were there , they were all gone out in the carriage with their mama . Abbot , too , was sewing in another room , and Bessie , as she moved hither and thither , putting away toys and arranging drawers , addressed to me every now and then a word of unwonted kindness .