one o'clock
`` Oh , I wish mother was here ! '' he exclaimed out loud . And then because he felt so hungry for comfort and so eager to relieve his mind of its burden , he went over to his writing desk , and wrote a long letter to his mother . When he finished , it was after one o'clock and he went to bed and slept as if exhausted , but to his dismay when he awoke , his depression and fear were there to greet him and he found himself waiting for his mother 's answer almost as if her letter were a reprieve from a sentence of death . A part of this letter will reveal Walter 's excited and even chaotic feeling . `` The bottom seems to be dropped right out of everything , mother . Of what use is it to try to do right when there is n't any likelihood of a future and no personal God and no Redeemer , and no standard for conduct ?