midnight
CL . HARLOWE . MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE , TO MISS HOWE -LSB- In continuation of the subject in I will now , though midnight -LRB- for I have no sleep in my eyes -RRB- resume the subject I was forced so abruptly to quit , and will obey yours , Miss Lloyd 's , Miss Campion 's , and Miss Biddulph 's call , with as much temper as my divided thought will admit . The dead stillness of this solemn hour will , I hope , contribute to calm my disturbed mind . In order to acquit myself of so heavy a charge as that of having reserves to so dear a friend , I will acknowledge -LRB- and I thought I had over-and-over -RRB- that it is owing to my particular situation , if Mr. Lovelace appears to me in a tolerable light : and I take upon me to say , that had they opposed to him a man of sense , of virtue , of generosity ; one who enjoyed his fortune with credit , who had a tenderness in his nature for the calamities of others , which would have given a moral assurance , that he would have been still less wanting in grateful returns to an obliging spirit : -- had they opposed such a man as this to Mr. Lovelace , and been as earnest to have me married , as now they are , I do not know myself , if they would have had reason to tax me with that invincible obstinacy which they lay to my charge : and this whatever had been the figure of the man ; since the heart is what we women should judge by in the choice we make , as the best security for the party 's good behaviour in every relation of life . But , situated as I am , thus persecuted and driven , I own to you , that I have now-and-then had a little more difficulty than I wished for , in passing by Mr. Lovelace 's tolerable qualities , to keep up my dislike to him for his others .