five o'clock
-- were my heart at this moment laid open to him , -- were all its weakness , its partiality , its ill-fated admiration displayed , he would but double his vigilance to avoid and forget me , and find the task all the easier by his abatement of esteem . Oh strange infatuation of unconquerable prejudice ! his very life will he sacrifice in preference to his name , and while the conflict of his mind threatens to level him with the dust , he disdains to unite himself where one wish is unsatisfied ! '' These reflections , and the uncertainty if she should ever in Delvile Castle sleep again , disturbed her the whole night , and made all calling in the morning unnecessary ; she arose at five o'clock , dressed herself with the utmost heaviness of heart , and in going through a long gallery which led to the staircase , as she passed the door of Mortimer 's chamber , the thought of his ill health , his intended long journey , and the probability that she might never see him more , so deeply impressed and saddened her , that scarcely could she force herself to proceed , without stopping to weep and to pray for him ; she was surrounded , however , by servants , and compelled therefore to hasten to the chaise ; she flung herself in , and , leaning back , drew her hat over her eyes , and thought , as the carriage drove off , her last hope of earthly happiness extinguished . Cecilia was accompanied by her maid in the chaise , and her own servant and one of Mrs Delvile 's attended her on horseback . The quietness of her dejection was soon interrupted by a loud cry among the men of `` home ! home !