10 o'clock A.M.
With a prescient view to being amply prepared for an overwhelming assault upon combined Europe , which is shortly to be made by Secretary Seward and the muscular United States of America , our Uncle Abe ordered a draft of Accomackians to be made at once . Hereupon the Accomac `` Morning Dog , '' an excellent daily journal , indulged in a high-minded editorial on the fiendish proclivities of the Governor of Accomac , and the general wildness of all the Accomackians to be drafted if he would let them . With great promptness , that admirable palladium of human freedom , the `` Evening Cat , '' avowed that it spit upon the gubernatorial scurrility of its growling contemporary ; that it deprecated mob violence and trusted that no mob would resist the draft ; but could not help believing that the Sovereign People might possibly arise in their majesty and occasion a speedy funeral in the family of the editor-in-chief of the venomous and intolerable `` Morning Dog . '' It was at 10 o'clock A.M. , my boy , when the drafting commenced in Accomac , and in half an hour thereafter the Sovereign People , consisting of several gentlemen from Ireland , were asserting the dignity of a free community in a manner worthy of the sacred cause of Emigration . It is a touching fact , my boy , -- a touching and æsthetical fact , that the American people are ever so able to find foreign champions to protect their freedom from governmental infringement that they seldom have occasion to do any fighting for it themselves . The Sovereign People of Accomac , being fully aroused and slightly inebriated , proceeded to vindicate the majesty of our excellent national Democratic Organization by relieving a bloated aristocracy of their watches and loose change , ransacking sundry private residences on account of the great draft of their chimneys , and performing other awe-inspiring acts of rude majesty , equally well calculated to evince a freeborn people 's distaste for despotism . Furthermore , the Sovereign People fearlessly attacked a large and aristocratic Hospital , beating many of the patients to death ; for , by some corrupt chicanery , these patients were barefacedly exempted from the Conscription which bore so heavily upon the down-trodden and healthy poor man .