five in the morning
Impossible it is to describe the condition of his mind when got into the street : -- his once violent affection was now converted into the extremest hatred and contempt ; -- he detested not only Harriot , and the whole sex , but even himself , for having been made the dupe of so unworthy a creature , and could have tore out his own heart , for having joined with her in deceiving him . -- Having wandered about some time , giving a loose to his fury , the considerations of what he should do , at last took their turn : -- home he could not go , the servant who used to admit him knew nothing of his being out , and he durst not alarm the family by knocking at the door , having passed by several times , and found all fast . In this perplexity , as he went through a street he had not been used to frequent , he saw a door open , and a great light in a kind of hall , with servants attending : -- he asked one of them to whom it belonged , and was told it was a gaming-house , on which he went in , not with any desire of playing , but to pass away some time ; finding a great deal of company there , he notwithstanding engaged himself at one of the tables , and tho ' he was not in a humour which would permit him to exert much skill , he won considerably . The company did not break up till five in the morning , and he then growing drowsy , and yet unable to find any excuse to make to his father , he could not think of seeing his face , so went to a bagnio to take that repose he had sufficient need of , the fatigues of his mind having never suffered him to enjoy any sound sleep , since his father 's discovery of the extravagance he had been guilty of . On his awaking , the transaction of the preceding night returned to his remembrance with all its galling circumstances , and the more he reflected on his disobedience to his father , the less he could endure the thoughts of coming into his presence : -- in fine , that shame which so often prevents people from doing amiss , was now the motive which restrained him from doing what he ought to have done . -- Had he immediately gone home , thrown himself at his father 's feet , and confessed the truth , his youthful errors had doubtless merited forgiveness ; but this , though he knew it was both his duty , and his interest , he could not prevail on himself to do ; and to avoid the rebukes he was sensible were due to his transgressions , he resolved to hide himself as long as he could from the faces of all those who had a right to make them . In fine , he led the life of a perfect vagabond , sculking from one place to another , and keeping company with none but gamesters , rakes , and sharpers , falling into all manner of dissolution ; and whenever his reason remonstrated any thing to him on these vicious courses , he would then , to banish remorse for one fault , fly to others , yet worse , and more destructive .