midday
If I did not get this belief from him then I do not know how I got it . But it was as if he hinted at a treasure that had got very dusty in an attic , a treasure which he had n't himself been able to spend ... '' The father who had intended to mould his son ended by watching him grow , not always with sympathy or understanding . He was an overworked man assailed by many futile anxieties . One sees him striding about the establishment with his gown streaming out behind him urging on the groundsman or the gardener , or dignified , expounding the particular advantages of Seagate to enquiring parents , one sees him unnaturally cheerful and facetious at the midday dinner table , one imagines him keeping up high aspirations in a rather too hastily scribbled sermon in the school pulpit , or keeping up an enthusiasm for beautiful language in a badly-prepared lesson on Virgil , or expressing unreal indignation and unjustifiably exalted sentiments to evil doers , and one realizes his disadvantage against the quiet youngster whose retentive memory was storing up all these impressions for an ultimate judgment , and one understands , too , a certain relief that mingled with his undeniable emotion when at last the time came for young Benham , `` the one living purpose '' of his life , to be off to Minchinghampton and the next step in the mysterious ascent of the English educational system . Three times at least , and with an increased interval , the father wrote fine fatherly letters that would have stood the test of publication . Then his communications became comparatively hurried and matter-of-fact . His boy 's return home for the holidays was always rather a stirring time for his private feelings , but he became more and more inexpressive .