nine P.M.
News , say we -- News in Homeburg ? News in a town where an ice-cream social is a sensation and a dog fight suspends business for three hours ? News in a town where it takes a couple five years to work up a wedding and seven kinds of wedding cake is the only news in it ? Where the city marshal has n't made an arrest for two years because no one has done anything after nine P.M. except snore , and where they have to put up the lamps in pairs to keep them from getting lonesome ? We do n't print news from Homeburg because there is n't any , and the old rooster who joshed us knows it . He 's sore because we ca n't make half a column out of his trip to Paynesville eight miles away last summer , but we 'll promise to do better . We 'll dump the paste pot in the fire , throw the old shears out of the window and get out a regular screamer of a _ Democrat _ some week ; a paper with red ink on it and big headlines and a real piece of news in it .