about six in the morning
My father was the only person who guessed the cause of my affliction ; he said he was sure I had received some ill-usage in a letter or message from that rascal S -- ; so he termed him in the bitterness of passion . `` At mention of that name , my agony redoubled to such a degree that all who were present wept at sight of my deplorable condition . My poor father shed a flood of tears , and conjured me to tell him the cause of my disquiet ; upon which , rather than confess the truth , I amused his concern by pretending that my lover was ill . The whole family having stayed by me till I was a little more composed , left me to the care of my maid , who put me into bed about six in the morning , but I enjoyed no rest . I revolved every circumstance of my conduct , endeavouring to find out the cause of this fatal change in S -- 's disposition ; and as I could recollect nothing which could justly give offence , concluded that some malicious persons had abused his ears with stories to my prejudice . `` With this conjecture I got up , and sent my lawyer to him with a letter , wherein I insisted upon seeing him , that I might have an opportunity of justifying myself in person ; a task which would be easily performed , as I had never offended , but in loving too well . I waited with the most anxious impatience for the return of my messenger , who brought me an answer couched in the coldest terms of civility which indifference could dictate ; acknowledging , however , that he had nothing to lay to my charge , but that it was for the good of us both that we should part .