two in the morning
And so I firmly resolved to be gay . I made a regular business of it and worked my way into clubs and dances , hunting for the girls I liked and scheming to make them like me too . By May I was way behind in my work . I tried to make up , I began cramming every night until one or two in the morning . And I passed my examinations -- but that summer I broke down . My father had to drop his work and take me abroad for an operation , and by the time we got back he had lost nearly six months of his time . I decided that as an engineer I was a dismal failure .