midnight
In the very act of forgiveness , forgiveness had been killed . Knight had gone off early that morning in his motor-car , the poor car which was a pathetic contrast to the glories of last year in England . He had gone before she was up , and had mentioned to the Chinese cook that he might not be back until late . `` That means after midnight , '' she told herself ; and since she was free as air , she decided to take a long walk in the afternoon , as far as the river . It seemed that if she stayed in the house the thought of life as it might have been and life as it was would kill her on this day of all other days . `` I wish I could die ! '' she said .