one in the afternoon
There she stood , seeing and hearing , and her low moaning changed to that laughter which anguish borrows from gladness when it has exhausted all forms of expression . At last she sank on her knees on the floor , and while she shed tears of pain still laughed shrilly , till she understood with sudden horror what was happening . She started violently ; a sob convulsed her bosom ; she wept and wept , and these tears did her good . When , at one in the afternoon , the sun fell full on her window , she had not yet found strength to move . A flood of bright light , in which whirled millions of motes , danced before her eyes ; and as her breath sent the atoms flying , it passed through her mind that at this very moment the reprobate utterance of a madman 's lips was blowing happiness , joy , peace , and hope out of the lives of many thousands -- blowing them into nothingness , like the blast of a storm . Then she commanded herself , for the horrible scene before her threatened to stamp itself on her eye like the image her father could engrave on an onyx ; and she must avoid that , or give up all hope of ever being light-hearted again . Hardly an hour since she had seen the arena looking like a basket of fresh flowers , full of splendid , youthful men .