midnight
It was through that I failed myself ; I remembered that I was different from others , and forgot that I was the same . '' Mr. Carleton seemed to take a kind of melancholy pleasure in returning to what he considered his own failure , and Chris began to wonder whether the thought of it was not the secret of that slight indication to moroseness that he had noticed in him . The moon was high and clear by now , and Chris often leaned his cheek on the sash as the priest talked , and watched that steady shining shield go up the sky , and the familiar view of lawns and water and trees , ghostly and mystical now in the pale light . The Court was silent as he passed through it near midnight , as the household had been long in bed ; the flaring link had been extinguished two hours before , and the shadows of the tall chimneys lay black and precise at his feet across the great whiteness on the western side of the yard . Again the sense of the smallness of himself and his surroundings , of the vastness of all else , poured over his soul ; these little piled bricks and stones , the lawns and woods round about , even England and the world itself , he thought , as his mind shot out towards the stars and the unfathomable spaces -- all these were but very tiny things , negligeable quantities , when he looked at them in the eternal light . It was this thought , after all , that was calling him out of the world , and had been calling him fitfully ever since his soul awoke eight years ago , and knew herself and her God : and his heart expanded and grew tremulous as he remembered once more that his vocation had been sealed by a divine messenger , and that he would soon be gone out of this little cell into the wide silent liberty of the most dear children of God . Ralph relented as the month drew on , and was among those who wished Chris good-bye on the afternoon of the July day on which he was to present himself at Lewes .