4 P.M.
It is clear that between the second and third taking of votes the copy of ` Without the Veil ' must have been sent round in the interest of Baron Huchenard . An explanation I must and will have . I wo n't leave the place till I get it . _ 4 P.M. _ Dearest sister , you may guess my feelings when , after I had heard in the next room M. and Madame Astier , old Réhu , and a stream of visitors congratulating the author of ` Cave Man , ' the door of the library opened and my old master came in , reaching out his hands and saying , ` My dear boy , forgive me ' -- between heat and emotion he was nearly speechless -- ` forgive me , that man had a hold over me . I had to do it , I had to do it . I thought I could avert the disaster which threatens me , but destiny is not to be escaped , no , not even by a base act -- ' He held out his arms and I embraced him without the least anger , without indeed quite understanding the mystery of this bitter grief . After all , my own loss is easily retrieved .