six o’clock
He was in a state of nervous excitement and perturbation ; he noticed nothing and no one ; and he felt a craving for solitude , to be alone with his thoughts and his emotions , and to give himself up to them passively . He loathed the idea of trying to answer the questions that would rise up in his heart and mind . `` I am not to blame for all this , '' he thought to himself , half unconsciously . Towards six o'clock he found himself at the station of the Tsarsko-Selski railway . He was tired of solitude now ; a new rush of feeling took hold of him , and a flood of light chased away the gloom , for a moment , from his soul . He took a ticket to Pavlofsk , and determined to get there as fast as he could , but something stopped him ; a reality , and not a fantasy , as he was inclined to think it . He was about to take his place in a carriage , when he suddenly threw away his ticket and came out again , disturbed and thoughtful .