midnight
There was a letter on the long mahogany table in the hall , and Nan stopped and looked over the railing at it wearily . Miss Prince stopped too , and said she was sorry she had forgotten , -- it was from Oldfields , and in Dr. Leslie 's writing . But though Nan went back for it , and kissed it more than once before she went to bed , and even put it under her pillow as a comfort and defense against she knew not what , for the first time in her life she was afraid to open it and read the kind words . That night she watched the moonlight creep along the floor , and heard the cocks crow at midnight and in the morning ; the birds woke with the new day while she tried to understand the day that had gone , wondering what she must do and say when she faced the world again only a few hours later . Sometimes she felt herself carried along upon a rushing tide , and was amazed that a hundred gifts and conditions to which she had scarcely given a thought seemed dear and necessary . Once she fancied herself in a quiet home ; living there , perhaps , in that very house , and being pleased with her ordering and care-taking . And her great profession was all like a fading dream ; it seemed now no matter whether she had ever loved the studies of it , or been glad to think that she had it in her power to make suffering less , or prevent it altogether .