One o'clock
My wife is accustomed to regular meals . The sun grew in strength as the time went on , and my wife gave the order to sit at ease , which was signalled to my mother . My mother tells me that she was never so pleased in her life . One o'clock struck ; two o'clock ; three o'clock ; and still no Wenuses . Faint sounds were now audible from the crockery department , and then a hissing , which passed by degrees into a humming , a long , loud droning noise . It resembled as nearly as anything the boiling of an urn at a tea-meeting , and awoke in the breasts of my wife and her army an intense and unconquerable longing for tea , which was accentuated as four o'clock was reached . Still no Wenuses .