ten o’clock
I ran from the one and the other with the same savage impatience , disregarding everything in the feverish anxiety which spurred me on and impelled me to a hundred imprudences , such as at my age I should have blushed to commit . Much of this feeling was due , no doubt , to the glimpse I had had of mademoiselle , and the fiery words she had spoken ; more , I fancy , to chagrin and anger at the manner in which the cup of success had been dashed at the last moment from my lips . For four hours I wandered through the streets , now hot with purpose , now seeking aimlessly . It was ten o'clock when at length I gave up the search , and , worn out both in body and mind , climbed the stairs at my mother 's lodgings and entered her room . An old woman sat by the fire , crooning softly to herself , while she stirred something in a black pot . My mother lay in the same heavy , deep sleep in which I had left her . I sat down opposite the nurse -LRB- who cried out at my appearance -RRB- and asked her dully for some food .