eleven p.m.
Mine is the greatest goose that ever stood upon two legs , and how she can chatter as she does with her mouth full of pins is to me a perfect miracle . Once or twice in the week I have to endure a certain ordeal which , although a positive pleasure to some women , is to my disposition intense martyrdom , termed dressing to go out ; and I think I never hated it more than the night of Lady Horsingham 's ball . Lady Horsingham is my poor uncle 's widow ; and as Aunt Deborah is extremely punctilious on all matters relating to family connections , we invariably attend these solemnities with a gravity befitting the occasion . Now , I may be singular in my ideas ; but I confess that it does appear to me a strange way of enjoying oneself in the dog-days , to make one 's toilette at eleven p.m. , for the purpose of sitting in a carriage till twelve , and struggling on a staircase amongst a mob of one 's fellow-creatures till half-past . After fighting one 's way literally step by step , and gaining a landing by assault , one looks round and takes breath , and what does one see ? Panting girls looking in vain for the right partner , who is probably not ten yards from them , but wedged in between substantial dowagers , whom he is cursing in his heart , but from whom there is no escape ; or perhaps philosophically and perfidiously making the best of his unavoidable situation , and flirting shamefully with the one he likes _ next _ best to the imprisoned maiden on the staircase ; or , the tables turned , young fledglings pining madly for their respective enslavers , and picturing to themselves how she may be even now whirling round to that pealing waltz in the arms of some former adorer or delightfully new acquaintance , little heeding him who is languishing in his white neckcloth , actually within speaking distance , but separated as effectually as if he were in another country . By-the-bye , it 's fatal when people begin to think of each other as hes and shes ; the softest proper name that ever was whispered is not half so dangerous as those demonstrative pronouns .