midday
As it would be useless to contend against my present mood and , indeed , beyond my power , I have made up my mind that the last days of my life shall at least be irreproachable externally . If I am unjust in regard to my wife and daughter , which I fully recognize , I will try and do as she wishes ; since she wants me to go to Harkov , I go to Harkov . Besides , I have become of late so indifferent to everything that it is really all the same to me where I go , to Harkov , or to Paris , or to Berditchev . I arrived here at midday , and have put up at the hotel not far from the cathedral . The train was jolting , there were draughts , and now I am sitting on my bed , holding my head and expecting tic douloureux . I ought to have gone today to see some professors of my acquaintance , but I have neither strength nor inclination . The old corridor attendant comes in and asks whether I have brought my bed-linen .