midday
Comradeship had come and gone -- love had come and gone -- the fundamental idea that had lured him to Paris alone remained , stark , colorless , but recognizable ! One must possess one 's self ! And to achieve this supreme good , one must close the senses and seal up the heart , and be as a creature already dead ! To this profound end , Max locked himself in his studio and sat alone while the May morning waxed ; to this profound end , moving as in a dream , he at last rose at midday and left the _ appartement _ in quest of his customary meal . What that meal was to consist of -- whether stones or bread -- did not touch his brain , for his mind was solely exercised with wonder at the fact that his will could command the search for food -- could compel his dry lips to the savorless duty of eating . As he left the little _ café _ , paying his score , he half expected to see his wonder reflected on the good face of madame the proprietress , and was curiously shocked to receive the usual cheerful smile , the usual cheerful ` good-day ! ' that took no heed of his heavy plight .