midnight
Edna Pontellier could not have told why , wishing to go to the beach with Robert , she should in the first place have declined , and in the second place have followed in obedience to one of the two contradictory impulses which impelled her . A certain light was beginning to dawn dimly within her , -- the light which , showing the way , forbids it . At that early period it served but to bewilder her . It moved her to dreams , to thoughtfulness , to the shadowy anguish which had overcome her the midnight when she had abandoned herself to tears . In short , Mrs. Pontellier was beginning to realize her position in the universe as a human being , and to recognize her relations as an individual to the world within and about her . This may seem like a ponderous weight of wisdom to descend upon the soul of a young woman of twenty-eight -- perhaps more wisdom than the Holy Ghost is usually pleased to vouchsafe to any woman . But the beginning of things , of a world especially , is necessarily vague , tangled , chaotic , and exceedingly disturbing .