nine o'clock
`` It required considerable nerve , I confess , to make the resolution ; but once made , I did not flinch . I considered the impulse to be a true leading , quite as true as the other intuitions which I have before now successfully followed , so I made my arrangements all day . It gave me a wonderful sense of calm and certainty -- there was a feeling of repose about the completion of a restless existence , as if I was at last about to slide into quiet waters , and be taught directly , and not by obscure and painful monitions . `` At nine o'clock I went to my room . There was a full moon , which shone in at the open window ; the garden was wonderfully still and fragrant . `` I found myself wondering whether , when the thing was over , I should awake to consciousness at once ; whether the freed soul would have , so to speak , a local origin , a _ terminus a quo _ : in plain words , whether my spirit would pass through the house and through the quiet garden to some mysterious home , taking in the earthly impression as it soared past with a single complete undimmed sense -- or whether I should step , as it were , straight into a surrounding sea of sensation and be merged at once , feeling through all space and time and matter by the spiritual fibres of which I should make a part . Do you understand me ?