midnight
Thou a portrait-painter ! I tell thee , Alan , I have seen a better seated on the fourth round of a ladder , and painting a bare-breeched Highlander , holding a pint-stoup as big as himself , and a booted Lowlander , in a bobwig , supporting a glass of like dimensions ; the whole being designed to represent the sign of the Salutation . How hadst thou the heart to represent thine own individual self , with all thy motions , like those of a great Dutch doll , depending on the pressure of certain springs , as duty , reflection , and the like ; without the impulse of which , thou wouldst doubtless have me believe thou wouldst not budge an inch ! But have I not seen Gravity out of his bed at midnight ? and must I , in plain terms , remind thee of certain mad pranks ? Thou hadst ever , with the gravest sentiments in thy mouth and the most starched reserve in thy manner , a kind of lumbering proclivity towards mischief , although with more inclination to set it a-going than address to carry it through ; and I can not but chuckle internally , when I think of having seen my most venerable monitor , the future president of some high Scottish court , puffing , blowing , and floundering , like a clumsy cart-horse in a bog where his efforts to extricate himself only plunged him deeper at every awkward struggle , till some one -- I myself , for example -- took compassion on the moaning monster , and dragged him out by mane and tail . As for me , my portrait is , if possible , even more scandalously caricatured , I fail or quail in spirit at the upcome !