An hour after midnight
Thanks to the senator 's potion Stephanus soon fell asleep . Paulus sat near him and did not stir ; he held his breath , and painfully suppressed even an impulse to cough , so as not to disturb the sick man 's light slumbers . An hour after midnight the old man awoke , and after he had lain meditating for some time with his eyes open , he said thoughtfully : `` You called yourself and us all egotistic , and I certainly am so . I have often said so to myself ; not for the first time to day , but for weeks past , since Hermas came back from Alexandria , and seems to have forgotten how to laugh . He is not happy , and when I ask myself what is to become of him when I am dead , and if he turns from the Lord and seeks the pleasures of the world , my heart sickens . I meant it for the best when I brought him with me up to the Holy Mountain , but that was not the only motive -- it seemed to me too hard to part altogether from the child .