noon
`` Tush , dolt ! '' answered Vathek ; `` and know that all this infinitely charms me ; nor shall I leave the meadow till I have visited every hive of these pious mendicants . '' Wherever the Caliph directed his course objects of pity were sure to swarm round him : the blind , the purblind , smarts without noses , damsels without ears , each to extol the munificence of Fakreddin , who , as well as his attendant grey-beards , dealt about gratis plasters and cataplasms to all that applied . At noon a superb corps of cripples made its appearance , and soon after advanced by platoons on the plain , the completest association of invalids that had ever been embodied till then . The blind went groping with the blind , the lame limped on together , and the maimed made gestures to each other with the only arm that remained ; the sides of a considerable waterfall were crowded by the deaf , amongst whom were some from Pegû with ears uncommonly handsome and large , but were still less able to hear than the rest ; nor were there wanting others in abundance with humpbacks , wenny necks , and even horns of an exquisite polish . The Emir , to aggrandise the solemnity of the festival in honour of his illustrious visitant , ordered the turf to be spread on all sides with skins and table-cloths , upon which were served up for the good Mussulmans pilaus of every line , with other orthodox dishes ; and , by the express order of Vathek , who was shamefully tolerant , small plates of abominations for regaling the rest . This prince , on seeing so many mouths put in motion , began to think it time for employing his own ; in spite , therefore , of every remonstrance from the chief of his eunuchs , he resolved to have a dinner dressed on the spot .