noons
I do n't know what was in the others ' minds , but I know what filled my own ... I fancy it is n't the men who get most out of the world and are always buoyant and cheerful that most fear to die . Rather it is the weak-engined souls who go about with dull eyes , that cling most fiercely to life . They have not the joy of being alive which is a kind of earnest of immortality ... I know that my thoughts were chiefly about the jolly things that I had seen and done ; not regret , but gratitude . The panorama of blue noons on the veld unrolled itself before me , and hunter 's nights in the bush , the taste of food and sleep , the bitter stimulus of dawn , the joy of wild adventure , the voices of old staunch friends . Hitherto the war had seemed to make a break with all that had gone before , but now the war was only part of the picture . I thought of my battalion , and the good fellows there , many of whom had fallen on the Loos parapets . I had never looked to come out of that myself .