twelve o'clock at night
Overcast enough it was my nature often to be ; of a subdued habit I was : but the dimness and depression must both be voluntary -- such as kept me docile at my desk , in the midst of my now well-accustomed pupils in Madame Beck 's first classe ; or alone , at my own bedside , in her dormitory , or in the alley and seat which were called mine , in her garden : my qualifications were not convertible , nor adaptable ; they could not be made the foil of any gem , the adjunct of any beauty , the appendage of any greatness in Christendom . Madame Beck and I , without assimilating , understood each other well . I was not _ her _ companion , nor her children 's governess ; she left me free : she tied me to nothing -- not to herself -- not even to her interests : once , when she had for a fortnight been called from home by a near relation 's illness , and on her return , all anxious and full of care about her establishment , lest something in her absence should have gone wrong finding that matters had proceeded much as usual , and that there was no evidence of glaring neglect -- she made each of the teachers a present , in acknowledgment of steadiness . To my bedside she came at twelve o'clock at night , and told me she had no present for me : `` I must make fidelity advantageous to the St. Pierre , '' said she ; `` if I attempt to make it advantageous to you , there will arise misunderstanding between us -- perhaps separation . One thing , however , I _ can _ do to please you -- leave you alone with your liberty : c'est - ce que je ferai . '' She kept her word . Every slight shackle she had ever laid on me , she , from that time , with quiet hand removed .