two o’clock
` I have cried , ' said I , smiling , in spite of my misery ; ` and I am calm now , really : so do n't discompose me again , nurse : let us say no more about it , and do n't mention it to the servants . There , you may go now . Good-night ; and do n't disturb your rest for me : I shall sleep well -- if I can . ' Notwithstanding this resolution , I found my bed so intolerable that , before two o'clock , I rose , and lighting my candle by the rushlight that was still burning , I got my desk and sat down in my dressing-gown to recount the events of the past evening . It was better to be so occupied than to be lying in bed torturing my brain with recollections of the far past and anticipations of the dreadful future . I have found relief in describing the very circumstances that have destroyed my peace , as well as the little trivial details attendant upon their discovery . No sleep I could have got this night would have done so much towards composing my mind , and preparing me to meet the trials of the day .