midnight
`` Good night , Hardy , '' he said , wringing his friend 's hand . `` If a prayer may come from my lips , so long unused to prayer , I say God bless you , and preserve you from such a lot as mine . '' George could not utter another word ; he could only shake hands again , and then hurried away to the hotel where he sometimes slept . It was past midnight when he arrived there . Calling for some spirits and water , and writing materials , he seated himself dejectedly at a table and wrote . The first letter ran as follows : -- `` MY DEAREST MOTHER , `` I have some painful news to tell you -- so painful that I would rather you should have received intelligence of my death , than that which this letter contains . I know you will not judge me harshly , dear mother ; I know you will stretch out to me your forgiveness , and still pray for me that I may receive pardon from _ your _ heavenly Father -- would I could say _ mine _ .