FRIDAY, FOUR O'CLOCK
That I think it necessary to acquaint him , that if my throwing myself upon Lady Betty Lawrance 's protection , as he proposed , he understands , that I mean directly to put myself into his power , he is very much mistaken : for that there are many point in which I must be satisfied ; several matters to be adjusted , even after I have left this house , -LRB- if I do leave it , -RRB- before I can think of giving him any particular encouragement : that in the first place he must expect that I will do my utmost to procure my father 's reconciliation and approbation of my future steps ; and that I will govern myself entirely by his commands , in every reasonable point , as much as if I had not left his house : that if he imagines I shall not reserve to myself this liberty , but that my withdrawing is to give him any advantages which he would not otherwise have had ; I am determined to stay where I am , and abide the event , in hopes that my friends will still accept of my reiterated promise never to marry him , or any body else , without their consent . This I will deposit as soon as I can . And as he thinks things are near their crisis , I dare say it will not be long before I have an answer to it . FRIDAY , FOUR O'CLOCK . I am really ill . I was used to make the best of any little accidents that befel me , for fear of making my then affectionate friends uneasy : but now I shall make the worst of my indisposition , in hopes to obtain a suspension of the threatened evil of Wednesday next . And if I do obtain it , will postpone my appointment with Mr. Lovelace .