So I wasn't planning on staying over in Phoenix last night but decided to squeeze in a business dinner only to find that nearly every hotel on Scottsdale Road from Camelback to Shea was booked.  I called the Montelucia and a very nice lady at a central reservation place set me up and told me the rate was $249.  More than I wanted to spend but, since it was 10:00pm and I was tired, I went with it.\n\nI was greeted by a friendly valet who informed me that there was a $19/day valet fee.  \""Are you freakin' kidding me\"" I exclaimed to which he apologetically responded that I was welcome to park the car myself.  \n\nEnter the lobby....\n\nI am greeted by an impeccably dressed gentleman who quickly finds my reservation and tells me about the $24 / resort fee which covers the pool, internet and parking. \""So does the resort fee include the valet parking\"" I asked?  \""No, it only includes self parking\"" he responded.  \""Are you freakin' kidding me\"" I exclaimed (again).  He then offered to have the valet come up and bring my car back so that I could self-park it if I wanted.  At this point, I started my rant.  \""You people must be high, and i don't mean your prices, seriously....  on a $249 room, you expect me to pay an additional $43 for the use of the pool, internet and the privilege of parking my own car - all of which is taxable at monster bed tax rates?  Just give me the key and tell me where my room is.\""   I was shown a map of the grounds and the directions to my room were circuitous, requiring walking through an outside lounge.  I asked if a bellman could take me.  \""Of course sir, a bellman can take you in a golf cart if you just step outside by the fountain.\""  \n\nI walk out to the fountain with my bag and wait for about a minute, but no bellman.  I yell over to the 2 guys behind the valet desk (both of whom know I have been standing there), \""can one of you take me to my room?\""  Well sir, the bellman will be back in about 5 minutes but you can walk to your room in less than 5 minutes.\""  \""Seriously? You want me to walk across the property (outside) in the dark for 5 minutes,  through the seating area of a restaurant / lounge, around the pool area.  You guys don't have another golf cart?\""  Sorry sir...   \n\nThe one star above was for the nicely appointed room.  \n\nAt checkout, I found that I had been charged $15.99 for internet service that was supposed to be included in the \""resort fee.\""  The charge was promptly reversed.\n\nThis experience is actually going to motivate me to write a letter to the management of the hotel (which I have NEVER done before).  I wonder if they offer me a complimentary stay, if I will still need to pay the resort fee?