My sister and her family visited us recently from Connecticut. Her kids are really into horseback riding, and it was blizzard conditions at their house, so they wanted to take advantage of our nice weather to get on some horses. She found a Groupon for this place and purchased them for the whole family. Now, she lived in Arizona until she was thirty, so I'm surprised she wanted to do a western trail ride. It seemed a little gimmicky. I was expecting the owners and trail guides to be hamming it up for the tourists, calling us greenhorns and such.\n\nWhen we got there we had to fill out the insurance waivers, and everything seemed really disorganized. We had indicated that we were all going to wear helmets on the ride (I'd rather look stupid than have some dumb horse put me in a wheelchair) and they seemed irritated that we were trying to find helmets that actually fit, especially for the kids. The helmets were all stored on shelves inside and were dusty as heck. I got the idea that they just threw them up there after the previous trail ride without doing anything to sanitize them. Luckily, my head hasn't been itchy, so no lice. They could have an air compressor and some Lysol, at least, to blow the dust off and disinfect them.\n\nWhen we got out to the stables, they gave us a curt speech about safety and following the trail guide. They told us to always follow the horse in front of us, too, and never stray off the path. They then assigned us horses, based on our riding skills (indicated on the waiver). There was an older gentleman that seemed like he actually might have cared about the customers, but the younger guys definitely didn't. I was told to go to a horse toward the end of the stable. When I got there he was tied up, so I proceeded to climb on. One of the employees yelled at me to stop and came over with the stairs. Fair enough...they want people to be safe, I guess. There's no reason to yell, though. When I was getting on the horse he told me I smelled like sunscreen. I told him I didn't want skin cancer, and we were going to be baking in the sun for 1.5 hours, so yes, I did smell like sunscreen. He mockingly laughed and told me that he hasn't worn sunscreen since he was a teenager. Wow! That's impressive! You must be immune to ultraviolet rays. Well, if that chew in your lip doesn't give you cancer, you can rely on the sun as a back-up plan!\n\nWhen we finally got on the trail, the demeanor of the guides didn't get any better. I had a stubborn horse that was always trying to nibble on grass and weeds. They constantly yelled at me to get him moving so I wasn't holding up the line. Luckily my daughter's horse was obedient and didn't cause problems. I don't think I could handle them yelling at her.\n\nThe ride itself was half-nice. I say this because it was hot and dusty for half of it, and somewhat shady and cool for the other half. The ride starts at the stable and progresses across flat scrubland for about ten minutes. You end up on a bluff overlooking the river, then go down a gully to get to the water. There were probably many good photo opportunities, but we weren't allowed to stop and take advantage, lest we get yelled at. Most of my pictures are of the backs of the riders in front of me. Those will look great on the Apple TV slideshow, for sure! \n\nWe rode across the river a few times, saw some wild mustangs and looked for eagles. They said that the area is a protected eagle breeding ground, but unfortunately we didn't see any. My sister saw a good photo op when we were in the middle of the river, scooted her horse about three feet to the side and slowed it down. Of course, she was yelled at.\n\nWe were hoping to have the guides give us some history of the area, maybe some info about the flora and fauna. Anything to make it an interesting ride. Our guide said one thing during the ride, and I don't even remember what it was, so it must have been really awe-inspiring and important.\n\nOh, I almost forgot about one of the worst things! About halfway through the ride we were getting parched and asked about the water situation. The deal that we bought said that water was included. It may have been our fault for not asking about it at the beginning, but we were preoccupied with all of the insurance and helmet stuff. Anyway, the guide told us that the water was in a cooler by the stables. We told him that nobody informed us where the cooler was, or that we would need to grab a bottle before we left. We figured that they would have some in a saddle bag or at a stop on the trail. He said, \""well, you should have grabbed a bottle before you left the stables.\"" Thanks, genius!\n\nWhen we finally got back to the stables, the water bottles were there, as promised. They were sitting outside in an ice-free cooler, baking in the sun. Ahhhh! Nice, hot water to quench the thirst!\n\nThanks for the experience, Fort Mcdowell Adventures! I won't be back!