I'm writing this while sitting on the porcelain throne. If I could give someplace negative stars, I would give Gilley's the big old moosecock. Zero. Nada. Terrible.\n\nThe only good part about this meal was that I had a beer outside on the first non-oppressive night of the Vegas summer. The bad part is that I chose Gilley's.\n\nMaybe my palate is becoming too sophisticated for this shit, and I really don't want to be that guy. I literally couldn't eat my meal. We started with nachos - it's been months since I've had good nachos. These were covered in black olives, chili, salsa.... nacho cheese sauce. Like - movie theater nacho cheese sauce. It was never my favorite, and it really didn't seem to go right for me with the chili. My parents polished off that plate, though, so what do I know? I asked for a side of guacamole, but it never came. I think that was for the better, though, since I got guacamole on my burger.\n\nSo, I get another beer, because god knows I need it to get through the entree. My burger - in theory - sounded good. Guacamole, jack daniels BBQ sauce, a tasty burger, onion strips... bar food, you know?\n\nGuacamole. Man, I should have known better. Guacamole is tough sometimes... if you fuck it up, you really fuck it up. Gilley's - come on. Take it off your menu. It tasted like old cheese mixed with armpit. I ended up not eating my burger and just polishing off the fries (which were good).\n\nFinal verdict? I'm literally still shitting, and this review has taken me like 12 minutes to write. Not like - just sitting here writing, but sitting here and actively releasing. I'll never eat at Gilley's again. The only way someone could drag me here would be to stare at the waitresses asses and ride the bull at 3AM.