Most of this is Fox's fault, though I will try and share the wealth where appropriate. It began with an Expedia deal involving what we quickly came to realize was a hotel well past it's shelf life - Luxor - followed by a car rental from Fox for a drive from Las Vegas for this past weekend's Coachella Festival. After taking the airport shuttle from Luxor to the airport, we wound up boarding two different shuttles to get to Fox. This nuisance has been spelled out clearly here on Yelp, and shame on me for not checking first. But while that was certainly annoying, things were about to get worse. \n\nThe clerk at Fox grew belligerent and cut my fianc\u00e9e off when she balked at a few extra fees that were not mentioned in the Expedia arrangement, and it made the situation quite unpleasant from there on in, including an attempt to upsell us on extra insurance, a $10-per-day fee for an additional driver and a higher-end car. We declined each of these offers. \n\nWe were then directed outside to the car pickup zone, where we were met by a cheerful young gentleman who told us we'd \""lucked out\"" because he didn't believe there were any economy cars available. No such luck, we discovered, though since we'd only requested an economy car, we were fine with that. Of course that was because we'd never experienced a Chevy Spark. \n\nThe Chevy Spark, if you're fortunate enough never to have crossed paths with one, has one redeeming feature: It gets good gas mileage. That's because it is a child's toy with a lawnmower engine. The car - and I use that term as loosely as humanly possible - shifts gears at around 65-70 mph, but even on flat ground it labors to do so. If you're driving up a hill, it coughs and wheezes like Doc Holliday in heavy pollen season. The engine sounds as though it will explode. It is absolutely brutal. \n\nI've rented some real pieces of shit, owned a couple of beaters, but please believe me when I tell you: the Chevy Spark is the worst fucking car I have ever driven. A small wind throws the car around like a small fishing boat in the middle of the Bermuda Triangle. The wheels are the size of fancy gluten-free birthday cakes made for two. The radio won't fucking shut off. Perhaps the wipers work well, but Fox gave us a car with a totally empty well. Alas...\n\nThere is no zero-star option on Yelp, so I'm going to try and convince myself into believing the quick, painless dropoff earned this terrible company a single star.