Have you ever asked someone to do something for you and they respond with \""when hell freezes over!\"" Well then come on down to minus 5 degrees! Because it's hell and its frozen over.  \n\nLet me tell you the \""delightful\"" treatment that hell provides for you:\n\n1. Got money to throw away? GREAT!! HELL WILL TAKE ALL OF IT AS YOUR COVER CHARGE TO GET IN! We paid $300 for our group!  (note:  an arm and a leg is required as part of your cover charge.)\n\n2. Love to dress up for fun occasions? EXCELLENT! BECAUSE HERE IN HELL THEY PROVIDE DIRTY JACKETS AND DISGUSTING BOOTS!.... for an extra charge of course (and you must provide a virgin to sacrifice.) \n\n3. Love sardines?? Awesome!!!! As you enter into the ice bar you get the luxury of finding out what sardines feel like when they're getting canned! WOOHOO!!\n\n4. Love alcoholic drinks? FANNNNTASTIC! Here in hell they have the most excellent cocktails. They taste like shitty juice that has no alcohol in it... where's the alcohol you might ask? Well it's just soo darn good you can't taste a drop of alcohol in there because there probably isnt any in there\n\n5. See the alcohol behind the bar?? :GASP: SKYE VODKA! Best damn vodka in hell! Lookin for something  better tasting? EXTRA CHARGE and your mother!\n\n6. Meet the devil himself in hell! He's the general manager! Lucifer, who goes by marc at Minus 5, will provide you with the crappiest customer service ever. YAY!!!  \n\n7. In hell NO ELECTRONICS ARE ALLOWED! Instead the devil's minion, camera girl mary, goes around taking pictures of people so that you can pay $20 plus your first born son for ONE picture. But wait! Devil minion camera girl mary doesn't want to take pictures of asians! So sad too bad guess you asian folk can't have a $20 picture of your memorable time in hell :'(\n\nEnjoy your stay in hell!