HELL NO THIS ISN'T A THREE STAR ESTABLISHMENT!!!\n(and I hate exclamation points!)\n\nSeriously, I'm a little mad. \n\nWHO ARE YOU PEOPLE AND WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN EATING? \n\nWith all due respect Edinburgh and the fine and wonderful people I have met here, I have not seen such skewed ratings for places to eat in my life until I came here. \n\nFirst, you rate PIZZA F**KING PARADISE a FOUR STAR and this place you think sucks? I've always said \""The UK gets a bad rap, they have some damn fine food.\"" Well, I'm here to say - you do have damn fine food, you just don't respect it. Clearly it's not the food it's your wrong opinions. (I still love you guys though)\n\nIllegal Jack's is DAMN FINE fast food tex mex. I have eaten in Edinburgh for three weeks at 4 and 5 star Yelp rated places and this was FAR AND AWAY the best meal I had. \n\nThe fresh spicy salsa was out of control awesome. \nNext layer cheddar cheese. \nNext layer AMAZING veggie chili that filled me to the brim. \nNext layer damn fine black beans.\nNext layer Mexican rice. \nHeld in a CRISPY CRISPY DELICIOUS corn tortilla. \n\nAdded layer Guacamole that was... damn fine for some Guacamole served in Scotland. It's a-friggin million miles away from Mexico and they still managed to pull off the guac! Well done Illegal Jack. \n\nADDED BONUS: Buffalo Sauce. For real Edinburgh? You can't respect that there's Buffalo Wings here? I mean where else are you going to get Buffalo Wings? \n\nNow, if you come here expecting MEXICAN food, you won't get it. You know why? Cause BURRITOS are AMERICAN. Yes, I said it. We didn't invent the tortilla, and we didn't invent the bean but we did invent the carrying case. \n\nNB: \nAlmost all edible \""dishes\"" and things that allow you to \""eat and run\"" were invented in the good 'ole US of A. \n\nExhibit \n\nA: Hamburger Bun \nB: Ice Cream Cone \nC: Kabob stick (Yes teriyaki chicken put on a stick in California)\nD: Hot dog Bun \nE: Bread Bowl\n\nIf you have a hankering for food that MOST CERTAINLY DOESN'T SUCK, come one, come all, come here. \n\nThis shit is delicious. Anyone says different - we can take this outside!