I wanted to try on a pair of shorts, so I walked around until I found the fitting room.  A little red sign says \""push\"" for service.  Loving to push buttons I felt compelled by the power of Christ to oblige.  I waited for a while, and no one came.  So I pushed the button again.  As I stood just outside the fitting room door I decided to give the handle a nudge and lo and behold it opened.  By the time I was done trying on the shorts I came out of the fitting room and noticed that the button had stopped flashing, so I pushed it again because clearly it was just one of those dummy buttons where you push it and nothing really happens.  \n\nOnto the basketballs, I grabbed myself a standard Wilson B-ball and headed to the check out nearest the mall entrance.  Mr Hunkasuarus Rex was manning the check out, and while he was easy on the eyes his apparent lack of brain power did not cater well to my impatience.  He was waiting on some woman with a rugrat who had confounded him into a drooling stupor with her super mom multitasking abilities, all whilst the rugrat beat the counter with a cheese head hat.  \n\nI gave up and decided to try a different register near the exit to the outside.  There was a long line there.  The Dicks were out in full force here today.  This cashier looks up in mid-transaction and says \""does anyone need to make a purchase?\""  To which the dude in front of me holds up his merchandise confusedly.  Just what the hell are we doing in this line of hurry up and wait???  Dick must have not wanted to wait on me specifically because a few moments later he looked me in the eye and said \""there are other registers open that have no wait.\""  To which I said \""I ain't leaving buddy.\""  Secretly I knew that hunkasaurus Rex on the other side of the store was still tapping a Dick club card on his forehead waiting for an epiphany.  \n\nPart of their problem is that they have to try and sell you an insurance plan with every piece of equipment you buy, along with trying to get you to sign up for a club card so you too can be a Dick.  By the time I got through with my purchase it suddenly dawned on him to call for help.  He speaks into his mic head set \""can I get some help up here?   The line is pretty long.\""  To which I turn to see about 20 other highly annoyed faces waiting in line.\n\nI used to really like going here to see Dicks.  But their customer service has fallen below the acceptable level.  No one is on the floor to help you, yet they have cashiers who try to up sell the hell out of you.   What a bunch of dicks.