It sounded like a good idea to give Memphis another try yet again. Being from Kansas City, one of America's 4 BBQ capitals sometimes you get a craving for BBQ and nothing else will do. But the last couple of times my fiancee and I have went to Memphis it's sucked. Let's just do this...here we go. \n\n1: You call to get on the wait list. Then when you get there...you still have to wait even when people who came in behind you get seated first. \n2: Slow service. Seriously...I had to get my own kids menu from the front counter. \n3: Enjoy the bread. One basket is all you'll get. \n4: Take your time figuring out what you want to eat. Your waiter will be so slow you can reread the menu 5 times, heck pull out your phone and Google the owner's name, Mike Mills. You've got PLENTY of time! \n5: More lukewarm food. Seriously, it's a BBQ place. I'm all for slow cooking, but dang, put some heat in it before you bring it to the table, and I'm talking physical temp, not heat measured in scoville units. \n6: Where's the Magic Dust? It tasted good on prior visits, but our table was missing a bottle of it this time around. \n7: Spicy sauce. There's nothing like having to ask for and then finally someone brings out a clogged up bottle of sauce to show just how much the staff gives a damn about the product they're bringing to the table. And the spicy sauce was an absolute ******* disgrace that anyone who claims to know anything about good BBQ would never, EVER send to the table. \n8: Yeah, my tea is empty, and my plate isn't finished. Why yes, I would like a refill...oh wait, you're too busy flirting with the blond at the table across from us to even notice our empty tea glasses. Sorry guy, she was too cute for you and your chances of getting her phone number are the same as me winning Megabucks, Powerball, and MegaMillions in the same week. Ain't ever gonna happen. \n9: Onion straws. This dish should be labeled as a \""tribute to Crisco\"" dish. At least the table has a big roll of paper towels, perfect for spitting something back out. \n10: The brisket...was not bad, except for the fact it was cold. \n11: I think one of the types of meat was chicken. But if I was in front of a judge and had to say under oath what I thought it was I would have to say I honestly didn't know. \n\nThis visit was so bad I cringed at even leaving a 15% tip. I know the wait staff needs tips to make a living, but this was just bad. And I can't reward bad food and crappy service no matter how sympathetic I want to be. \n\n1 Star. And this time I gotta add Memphis to my Jackassery! List because yes, I think even having a Jackass kicking over a BBQ grill would still be an improvement over what was served to me tonight. \n\n(Yelp 100 in 2013 Challenge #17)