Infants are born as either girls or boys, right?


Numerous infants (there are estimates up to three per thousand) are born with "ambiguous" genitalia; they're anatomically neither completely male nor completely female, but with an in-betweenish organ. These individuals are called "intersexuals," also known by the archaic label "hermaphrodite."

I find this fascinating. What is life like with an identity that's neither male nor female? What's sex like with a unique body part?

Last Saturday afternoon, I met with a local intersexual, Howard Devore, Ph.D. He, or she, looks a bit like a clean-cut hunky gay guy, but not quite...

SFGATE: So... uh... I'm realizing how odd I feel sitting across from someone who is not a "he" or a "she." What pronoun do intersexuals use when they refer to themselves?

HOWARD DEVORE: (Joking) We say "herm," as in "herm's opinion on that subject."

SFGATE: Ha ha! OK. Um, you look like a big, strong man. To me. Mostly. But, uh... well... what are the specifics regarding your particular intersexual type?

DEVORE: I was born with genitalia tissue that looked somewhat like labia, or an open penis with exposed mucus membrane. It's called "hypospadia." There was a urethral hole at the base, and a small vaginal pit.

Doctors in the U.S.A. "assign" gender to children who are intersexual.

I was "assigned" boy status, so they sewed up my genitalia to resemble a penis, and they told my parents to have me do lots of "boy things" -- to reinforce assignment.

But my friends were eventually all girls, because I enjoyed playing with dolls and playing "dress up" and hopscotch and jump rope. That's how I grew up. It was confusing because I didn't feel like a man or a woman.

Who I am is an intersex person. Sexually, I've been with both men and women, but now I have an intersex partner!

SFGATE: Was adolescence difficult? Mine was, and I'm as generic as Wonder Bread.

DEVORE: I was suicidal at 15. Luckily, I met a psychiatrist who kept me alive. I saw him for three years.

SFGATE: He was excellent? A miracle-worker?

DEVORE: Not really. I always thought, "I could do much better," so now I'm a clinical psychologist myself and a certified sex therapist with a practice in both Marin and San Francisco.

Our conversation veers towards Dr. Devore's work as a board member of the Intersex Society of North America (ISNA). ISNA is connected to additional intersex activist chapters in Japan, New Zealand, Germany, Canada, Sweden, South Africa and other nations.

The specific goals of the ISNA are to end cosmetic surgery on infant genitalia; to encourage obstetricians, gynecologists and parents to accept the idea that a healthy intersex child has been born; and to persuade the medical establishment to use the intersex community as a resource center that can provide advice and community to future intersexuals.

As a tireless representative of the ISNA, Howard has appeared on numerous television and radio programs, including the Oprah Winfrey Show, the Montel Williams Show, the Sally Jessy Raphael Show, Dateline NBC, ABC's Primetime Live, and... Howard Stern?

SFGATE: Wow, Howard Stern. Was he rude?

DEVORE: I expected some bullshit to fly but he was respectful. I wasn't harmed or insulted in the hour and a half I was there.

SFGATE: Besides your "hypospasia" type, there're many other kinds of intersexuals, too?

DEVORE: Yes, there is broad variability, as huge as nature itself. There are kids born with micropenises, and others with enlarged or protruding clitorises and a group in the Dominican Republic called "guevedoches" that have male genitalia that doesn't descend until they're twelve.

There's also Klinefelter syndrome (XXY chromosomes, sterility, small testes, incomplete masculinization, with breast tissue development) and a plethora of other chromosomal combinations and syndromes.

SFGATE: Your organization is opposed to "gender assignment"?

DEVORE: Absolutely. Since the 1950s, doctors have used plastic surgery to create masculine or feminine genitalia, but the surgeries often create scarring. They damage the patients for life because they end up deprived of functioning, good-feeling genitalia.

About 90% of ambiguous-genitaled infants are assigned to the female gender because 'it's easier to dig a hole than build a pole.' Most female assignments go through a phallus or clitoris reduction that renders them non-orgasmic. Many others are also de-sexualized -- their ability to have sexual feelings is ruined

Basically, intersexed individuals need to be given the respect that is due to any individual.

SFGATE: Are U.S. hospitals listening to intersex demands?

DEVORE: William Reiner, Ph.D., at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore is very supportive, but locally, we have not made any significant impact on the procedures at UC San Francisco Medical Center.

Right now most parents just 'want it to be fixed so that it goes away.' This just screws the kid up. Parents don't have enough information. It's not provided to them by the hospitals. I really want parents to contact us to find out what happens to intersexuals.

SFGATE: I read that some cultures actually do have an intersex gender category?

DEVORE: Yes. There are peaceful, agrarian societies that regard intersexuals as good luck -- we're often shamans in these communities. Examples of these groups are the Hijira of India and the Navajo of the American Southwest, who have an intersex classification called "nadle."

Nadles are cherished as mediators and advisors in any conflicts that arise between the two other sexes.

SFGATE: Really? So they're "psychologists" -- like you?

DEVORE: Yes. I am working in an ancient, traditional capacity.

When the interview ends, I wander off pondering the mixed curse-and-blessing of "specialness." Howard was born anatomically unique; to survive this rough challenge he developed fortitude, intelligence and leadership skills.

But me? That night, I examine my ever-so-ordinary genitalia -- its "normalcy" has allowed me to be lazy.

The local chapter of the Intersex Society of North America (ISNA) can be contacted at: P.O. Box 31791, San Francisco, CA 94131. ISNA offers support groups, a newsletter, "Hermaphrodites With Attitude," and a video, "Hermaphrodites Speak."

Hank Hyena teaches "Subversive Humor" at New College and "Comic Monologues" at UC Berkeley Extension. He's also a frequent contributor to Salon.