Spanking Alternatives

Today is International Spank Out Day, and the Canadian Children's Rights Council says, yes, people still need to be reminded not to spank their children. Here's why CCRC president Grant Wilson says Canada's still got a long way to go.

Lobby groups for children's rights are using International Spank Out Day to educate about parenting practices that eliminate behaviour problems before they begin.
Lobby groups for children's rights are using International Spank Out Day to educate about parenting practices that eliminate behaviour problems before they begin.  (SHUTTERSTOCK)  

Q. Do people still need to be told not to spank their kids?

A. Yes, there's a certain element of parents who believe that's an important way to discipline children. People still write in to papers and say, "I should be able to spank my children. It was done to me. My kids still hug me, even though I spank them." It really comes down to a matter of education. If these people look at what parenting educators have to say, and they become educated about democratic parenting and age-appropriate involvement of children in the household, then they can find alternatives to spanking.

Q. What kind of alternatives?

A. If parents learn to manage their families using family meetings and age-appropriate rules, then they'll have the participation of the entire family. For instance, give your child an allowance as soon as possible so that if you're in a store and they want something, you can say, "Oh, did you bring your allowance with you?" so you don't have those kind of arguments that can lead to spanking. These methods are easier on the parents because you're eliminating the problems before they begin.

Q. What needs to happen to get the word out about these other methods of discipline?

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A. We'd like to see parent educators be an extension of the health services provided by the province. The province could contract private parenting organizations to run seminars, provide counselling, create Internet resources, etc. There's a tremendous resources out here in the people already running training sessions, and this would help parents get a really terrific start at using the principles of democratic parenting. This would be done in a non-confrontational way because they're not Children's Aid Society workers; these are people that parents could talk honestly too about how they are parenting. Parents Help Line was shut down due to lack of funding in February 2006.

Q. What's the role of your organization?

A. We were founded in 1991 and we are the most visited website in Canada on children's rights and responsibilities.

Q. What do you mean about responsibilities?

A. With most rights come responsibilities. With most rights come responsibilities. When you get the right to vote you have the responsibility to educate yourself about the issues. Similarly, when you're a child who has the right to a little money from the family to spend on yourself, you have the responsibility to spend it appropriately. Same as you have the right to a certain privacy in your household, but with these things come responsibility. We don't want to promote rights in isolation, so we need to talk about age-appropriate responsibilities for every member of the household.

Q. Where does Canada stand on corporal punishment compared to other countries?

Section 43 of the criminal code allows hitting of children as a form of correction. (A movement to repeal this section of the criminal code failed in 2004 when the Supreme Court upheld it, but the efforts are ongoing.) Other countries don't.

The Supreme Court can call it correcting but it's beating somebody up to get them to submit to your world. Proactive parenting is what they need, not reactive punishment, which isn't necessarily a deterrent.

People don't understand that there are alternatives and they just think that we're against discipline of children. There's a difference between what discipline is and violent behaviour to achieve what you want to achieve. It's important for people to understand that that's not teaching discipline.