Raising and Educating a Deaf Child


Social, Emotional and Behavioral Development

I have a 5 yr old son who was born deaf; he has a serve/profound hearing loss. He has limited sign language and no speech. His behavioral is the problem. I just can’t seem to control him – he is so active. Is there anything i can do to help him so he can be able to focus more and be able to learn?

Question from R.A., Florida. Posted April 22, 2014.
Response from Patrick Brice - Gallaudet University

Language is crucial to children learning how to regulate their emotions and their behavior.   In children with very limited language, great patience is required from adults, as these children are missing an important tool.  There is no simple solution, but Ross Greene has argued that all children want to be good and would be good if they could.  Behavior that is not cooperative or compliant is not because children want to misbehave, but because they cannot organize to do what is asked.  The adult’s job is to remember this point (easier said than done!) and help them learn to organize.  The area of psychology that has had the greatest success dealing with behavior difficulties in children with low levels of communication has been Applied Behavior Analysis.  This approach, though, requires effort from the adult who is practicing it, reinforcing children for approximations of cooperative behavior and not allowing and certainly not reinforcing uncooperative behavior.   There are specialists in most urban areas who provide ABA services, both in schools and in home; you might ask about that.

Additionally, use pictures, drawings, or photos of the child doing the desired activity and keep them handy (laminating them helps) to point out to the child what is desired of him along with rewards that will be given immediately upon cooperation.  Start with very low expectations so that children are rewarded quickly, easily, and frequently and then gradually make the expectations greater.  Remember also that children often have much more energy than adults, so finding ways for a child to expend his or her energy before asking them to do more quiet activities (e.g., household chores, homework, coming to the dinner table) will be important.  Rewards should be things that the child truly enjoys and that can be given easily and cheaply.  No need for trips to Disney World, but play time with particular games, favorite foods, or other enjoyable activities should be used.  Rewards may need to change as well since children will tire of things.

This approach does not always work quickly and in fact when first employed, behavior tends to get worse as children believe they must be more uncooperative to get what they got before.  But, with time and patience, it can make a difference.






















I have a son who is 3 1/2 years old. We found out this year that he is profoundly deaf in his right ear and has a moderate to severe loss in his left. He has a hearing aid in his left ear. He has hardly got any speech, his balance is very poor, and I’ve been told he’s a year behind for his age. Since he has got older, he has started to get very angry – kicking, biting, hitting, and throwing things at me; sometimes he hits his head on the floor. I’m getting worried. Do you think he could be autistic as well as being deaf? It really is starting to worry me. My paediatrician has said that it’s all frustration. I don’t go out with him because of the looks I get off of other people and because he has no sense of danger.

Question from K.M., England. Posted December 9, 2012.

When children don’t have language yet they express their needs or wants through their behaviour. In terms of your son, the paediatrician might be right that he is frustrated. But knowing that won’t just stop the behaviour. Your son should be assessed to determine if his hearing aids are giving him the best amplification and. even more importantly, your son needs to have language in the most accessible modality.  If an oral approach is not working, do not waste time! Begin using a more accessible language like sign language. In addition, your son should see a clinical psychologist familiar with deafness to assess if there are other issues that need to be addressed.

My son is 5 1/2, hard of hearing, moderately-severe to profound, bilateral aids since he was 4 months old. He is currently in a mainstream school, and also knows ASL, although he doesn’t like to use it. His reading skills are incredible – he has read dozens of “chapter books” since he learned to read last winter/spring. He has really good fine-motor control. But his pencil skills however are truly awful, well behind everyone else in his class, and he is even very unwilling to even try printing/tracing letters. He is on the waiting list to see the school board OT about a possible dysgraphia diagnosis. Is there any connection between his written language problems and his hearing problems? Or between his written language problems, and his unwillingness to use ASL?

Question from J.B., Ontario. Posted October 18, 2012.

It appears that your son’s problem is not a written language problem. Instead, as you have described it here, the problem is with his handwriting. If his reading skills are strong, then his written language skills may also be strong. However, you and his teachers will need to bypass handwriting in order to accurately assess his written language knowledge and skills. That can be done easily with the use of magnetic letters and/or the computer. He can construct his stories using magnetic letters or he can type his stories, instead of trying to print them.  I used this approach with a kindergarten student who was hard of hearing and also had cerebral palsy and could not write with a pencil. She was allowed to compose her stories using magnetic letters until she had learned the alphabet and then on the computer. The approach was highly successful.

I cannot say whether your son’s handwriting problem is related to his hearing loss. A consult with the school’s occupational therapist is definitely in order.

With regard to his unwillingness to use ASL, that is most likely an identity issue. Most children, regardless of age, do not want to be different from their peers. Because your son is mainstreamed with children who are hearing and use spoken language to communicate, I am not at all surprised that he doesn’t want to use ASL.  My best guess is that he wants to be like his peers and use spoken language to communicate.  Using ASL sets him apart from his peer—makes him different—the very thing children try to avoid.

I am from Turkey. My son has autism and was born with a profound sensorineural hearing loss. He was implanted at 5 years of age. He is now 12 years old.. He cannot speak or write. It seems there isn’t anybody else like him in Turkey and I cannot get any assistance in dealing with his multiple challenges. I want to teach him speak. How can I do that? How can I help my son?

Question from M.Y., Turkey. Posted September 27, 2012.

I am sorry to hear that you have not been able to access help for your son that you feel has been useful. Certainly deafness and autism each present their own challenges, but together things are much more complex.

Autism alone is associated with language impairments that are often quite significant. Many hearing children who have autism develop only very limited speech, and some only sounds, with no functional speech. The focus for these children should usually be on communication, not speech. This means trying to build communication of any kind, including gestures, manual signs, picture systems, as well as  speech — basically anything that allows the child a chance to communicate with the world around him. And an important part is trying to motivate the child to want to or need to communicate.

Your son also has a profound hearing loss. That is also by itself a high risk factor for acquiring speech. A cochlear implant may make speech sounds more available to him. But even if that were the case, he still may be affected by the language disorder I mentioned in connection with autism. So many, many questions remain that will impact on your son’s ability to speak and to write.

So the situation is complex. But does that mean there is no hope? Absolutely not! With appropriate and consistent support, most children make significant gains in many areas. If it has not already been done recently, I would recommend having an assessment done of your son’s intellectual, language and daily living skills, so you can understand where his skill levels are currently. Then try to find someone who can provide a program of systematic behavioral therapy, with a special focus on communication in as many activities as possible.

I don’t know the availability of services in your area, but hopefully a physician might know of available services, or the professionals who did the implant, or perhaps if there is  a university in your area. Did anyone provide you with support after the implant? That person may also be able to help connect you with services. Two sources that I am ware of online are:  The Tohum Foundation   http://www.tpfund.org/TOHUM/default.asp and The Gunsigi Services  http://www.gunisigichildtherapy.com/cigdem-ergul.php

Both, I believe, are in Istanbul, but hopefully they can connect you with services where you are located. The Tohum Foundation indicates their ” key purpose is to lead and disseminate early diagnosis, education, and social integration services for children with autism throughout Turkey.”

There is a family support group in North America that you should be able to access through   http://groups.yahoo.com/group/DEAF-Autreat   I have met some of these families, and they are wonderful people and many have struggled with similar concerns.

Our daughter is 11 years old and has been educated in a mainstream setting since the age of 6years. Her first language is New Zealand Sign Language (NZSL) although she prefers to use spoken English with some people. Her peers have developed NZSL to conversational level over the years that they have been in the same class.

We are a bicultural/bilingual family with 2 of us hearing (fluent in NZSL) and 2 Deaf. We put a lot of effort into maintaining links to the Deaf community and attend events at Deaf club, however this is not enough. Our daughter has been struggling for the past year particularly in the area of friendships. She prefers to play games that are predictable and physical (i.e., swinging on the bars, and her ‘friends’ have moved on and prefer to sit on the bank and talk! it breaks my when she comes home in tears asking why isn’t there more Deaf children at school and why do the girls just want to talk.. How can we develop resilience in our daughter.

Question from O.F, New Zealand. Posted September 26, 2012.

Yes, being 11 years and preadolescent is tough. Girls are transitioning to a different kind of socialization and talking with each other is really very typical at that age. You say that your daughter prefers to play games that are predictable and physical. If there are organized sports activities that you could enroll her in, that might be helpful. Another possibility is to invite one girl at a time over regularly to be with your daughter and do different things with her. If she has at least one good friend, this will help a bit in getting her through the tough spots.

If there are deaf girls close in age to your daughter in the deaf community, try to connect your daughter with them. Above all, be there for her, tell her you are proud of her, she is special, and you understand what she is going through. That will help her to develop resilience, knowing you care for her and you are there for her, and the two of you can communicate feelings. Here’s hoping the tough times won’t happen too often…..