Filippo Inzaghi (Born, Offside, 9 August 1973) is an Italian footballer widely believed to play the position of a striker.

His life is a tale of triumph over adversity. Filippo Inzaghi is the story of a man who played sport at the highest level, with distinction and success, despite being unaware of every rule that constituted the game he played. He was often seen with a look that managed to be both bemused unawareness and sulkiness. Some have said that he was trained simply to smash leather towards netting inside a white box, much like beagles were trained simply to smell and then ravage foxes. Many have compared Inzaghi outside the box to a beagle in a trawler. Pointless.


At an early age, Pippo was prohibited from playing football with his friends due to continuous accusations of 'goal hanging'. In his unofficial biography of Inzaghi, 'Pippo: A Man Offside', Tony Davis wrote, 'At around the age of 8, a game of youth football ended 14-0, despite none of the players or parents watching realising any goals had been scored. The referee that day had noticed one player score 14 goals, a young Mr Inzaghi, despite doing absolutely nothing else of any value to his team. It was the first reported case of an opposition being 'Inzaghied'.' Despite the claims of Emmanuel Adebayor, nobody who plays football is less aware of the offside rule than Filippo Inzaghi. It is widely believed that his inability to understand the concept of offside dates back to his conception, where his mother and father, who was a nifty no-nonsense midfielder, consumated their marriage during an Italian kickabout. Unfortunately for Pippo, modern offside laws would have meant they weren't interfering with play. Matters were made far worse due to the fact that Filippo was also born offside. Introduction of video replays has enabled viewers to see that every goal that Inzaghi has ever scored has infact been, offside. When questioned about his new Serie A hat-trick record (10) all of which were offside, Filippo said hungrily 'Offside? Fuck Off. Your telling me I scored 30 goals and they were all offside? Rubbish. I was onside. Too onside if anything.'

What he looks likeEdit

Much like Cameroon front-man Samuel Eto'o, Filippo Inzaghi always looks hungry, or sarcastically hungry.

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