Monday, April 11, 2011

An act of abuse

Current definition

Bully: (noun) a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person, who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.

Archaic definition

Bully: (noun) a man hired to do violence

Did you know that bullying is a form of abuse??

Did you know that between 60-80% of all children and teens are bullied?

In a landmark study consisting of 432 academically gifted eighth graders over the United States, two thirds of them admitted to being bullied, and one third harbored violent thoughts from the abuse.

Bullying can cause depression, anxiety, loneliness, low self-esteem and can eventually lead to SUICIDE.

I have more than one family member that has been the victim of bullying. Although there are many similarities in their personalities, there are also many differences. The most common denominator between them is: BRAINS.

What is it that makes an intellect so intimidating to other kids that they feel like they need to lash out in vulgar, harmful ways that can affect their targets for the rest of their lives?

Sure, maybe they'll have their moment of superiority and domination. But at the end of the day, most people know that if punks like them don't shape up their act, they'll be flippin burgers while the smart kids are saving lives and sending robots into outer space. That is, if the smart kids haven't been destroyed by the harmful abuse.

Ok, ok, maybe I'm being a little harsh here. But can you tell that I'm slightly irritated and hurt that those I love are being, or have been, hurt by the abuse of bullying?

Let's take a step back. Perhaps these bullies really suffer at home. I have been blessed with wonderful parents, and I always had a home that was warm and safe and happy. It's possible, and probable, that these kids don't have that. Maybe these kids have lost a loved one, perhaps they were bullied themselves. Maybe they feel the need to bring down someone else in order to gain friends. Maybe they use bullying as a way to conceal their own shame and anxiety.

or maybe it's just out of envy and resentment.

Whatever reason is, there's got to be a way to channel those emotions into something more productive and positive; for the their sake, and the sake of their victims.


I just spent about an hour looking for an inspirational video to tack on about bullying and I was unsuccessful. They were all too corny, or too graphic. Besides that, bullying comes in so many different forms that it's hard to grasp all of it in a 90 second video.

I just wish more people knew how serious and real bullying is. Lets face it, middle school is awful for everyone, but there are some kids who deal with bullying their entire lives-even in the work place. And another thing, not all of them have the gospel to get them through the abuse; bullycide (bullying that leads to suicide) is a very very REAL issue. And even if a person doesn't take their own life, many people deal with deep scars and significant pain from the effects of bullying for many years.

Well, I guess this is all I really have to say about this subject. It's times like these when you feel like your voice is so tiny and insignificant. Maybe I should change my major to human behavior so I can specialize in bullying and publish some awesome life changing stuff about it. Or maybe I can just hope that my tiny little fire can start other little fires that can get the message across the world somehow. Unlikely, but, a girl can dream.

That's all for now.


Friday, April 1, 2011

So I'm sitting here in the library at UT Southwestern waiting for Steven to finish his test. Typically I am a professional "dilly-dallier" (if you will) and I can burn time doing pretty much nothing for an impressive length of my day. But today I face a problem that doesn't happen all too often. I've been on facebook, I've read a million blogs including people I don't know, and here I am trying to think of something to do. And then a thought crossed my mind that was presented by our friend Ben that I thought was very interesting. Before Steven and Ben left to go take their test he said: "You know, life has been so good lately that I'm starting to get nervous about when all of that might end. But, I guess life has it's good days, and life has it's bad days, and when you look at life as a whole it's a pretty great thing." I completely agreed, wished them well on their exam, and went on to my dilly-dallying. I now can't get what he said out of my head. (hah! that rhymed :)) Within the last year or so, especially the last 3 months, I have fallen into that trap of "Boy, something reeeeaaaaallll bad must be on it's way because I've been living on easy street the last 15 months". Have you ever felt that way? I mean, honestly. When I look on my 20+ years of life I have seen a pretty solid pattern of bad year, good year, good year, bad year, good year, good year. Does that mean I only have 9 more months until something awful!? The answer is: no silly, you're being ridiculous. Another thought...I also get caught in that trap of "My life is so good, why is that!? I don't deserve it! Look at all these people who are so amazing, but they go through so much every single day. Why can't I give some of my life's easy days and swap them with some of their crummy days?" Instead, I should probably just shut-up and be GRATEFUL for everything I have. And like what my older brother told me one time when I said this to him 5ish years ago: "To whom much is given, much is required." Ok, obviously not an original Brandon quote, but still, I have to keep reminding myself about that all the time. So then I thought...well, what is required? And then, almost immediately I thought, oh dur Amber, EVERYTHING I HAVE. This lead me to another thought: isn't the temple amazing?? Serving at the temple with Steven has been the highlight of our week, and I am not just saying that to come off all "holier than thou". It has made a HUGE impact on our life. We have witnessed miracles almost every single day since we decided to work there. And aside from the blessings we've noticed, the time spent there is so rewarding. We have made great friends, and every week we learn more than we knew before. So to wrap everything up really quick I have learned something this afternoon. Don't shun the blessings that are bestowed upon you and wonder "why you". Don't focus on how long the "prosperous period" is going to last in your life. Take the blessings that you are given, and figure out a way to use them to enrich the lives of others. And like Ben said, sure life has it's ups and downs, but in the end, it is truely a wonderful thing. Amber