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Eight Methods:CommunicationUnderstand Temper TantrumsKnow Your Child’s PersonalityKnow the TriggersTake Steps to Avoid TantrumsKnow What Not to DoInterveneSeek Help

Just about every parent has had to endure some form of a temper tantrum at one point or another from their child. All young children will push the limit from time to time. Some children give it up easily when adults display their disapproval. Other children seem to take it to extremes leaving those around them feeling hopeless. There are some things that can be done to bring an end to temper tantrums.


Method 1 of 8: Communication

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    Use short phrases when speaking to your youngster if he is upset. It is easier for a child to hear and comprehend 2 or 3 words spoken at a time than an entire sentence. A simple command such as “Stop kicking that” will be comprehended quicker than a sentence stating ‘I want you to stop kicking that before you break it”. If your child understands what you expect from him, he is less likely to throw a temper tantrum out of frustration.
    • Sometimes a child will respond better if you tell them what you want them to do instead of reprimanding them by telling them not to do something. An example would be to tell a child to "walk" instead of saying "don't run".
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    Try to speak in an even, passionate tone of voice when disciplining. Children generally will not respond any better to an angry impatient tone of voice than they will to a soft, calm voice. Harsh tones may distress the child even further and lead to the development of a temper tantrum.
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    Repeat your desires again and again. Often, children are so caught up in themselves that they are not immediately aware of what is being said to them. If this is the case, repetition will work to get your point across and potentially prevent a temper tantrum.
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    Try acknowledging your child’s feelings. Conveying to the child that you understand his emotions allows him to feel acknowledged. He will be more likely to respond in a positive manner and listen further when you tell him that you understand what he is upset about before proceeding to tell him why he can not have what he wants. This type of communication can help prevent temper tantrums.

Method 2 of 8: Understand Temper Tantrums

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    Understand the basic reasons why temper tantrums occur. Generally, a child is more apt to have a meltdown if he is feeling out of sorts in one way or another. Hunger and fatigue can cause children to become cranky. Frustration can send a child into an outburst. Children have not yet learned how to control their emotions and will react by acting out the only way that they know how.
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    Take into consideration a child’s emotions and how they can lead to the development of a temper tantrum if not addressed properly. Often a child will use a tantrum to get the attention they are looking for. They want to be heard and tantrums are a way they can assure to be heard. This is especially true in toddlers just learning to speak. They have a lot to say but are unable to express themselves in a way others can understand. Understanding your child’s emotions and handling them accordingly can help prevent him throwing a temper tantrum out of frustration.
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    Consider your child’s desire for independence. Children naturally want to emulate the world around them. Unfortunately, the things they often wish to do are beyond their capability. Climbing the stairs or swimming on their own are perfect examples. They struggle for the independence to do these things unaware of the dangers that accompany these tasks. Power struggles can ensue in the form of temper tantrums. Offering your child some independence when appropriate can help prevent tantrums.

Method 3 of 8: Know Your Child’s Personality

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    Learn about your child’s specific personality traits. Some children naturally have a calm, relaxed disposition. Others are higher strung, moody and hyperactive. Children that appear more intense are generally more apt to have outbursts. If you know that you have a child who is more likely to have temper tantrums, you can take steps to prevent them.
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    Consider how well your child reacts to interruptions or change. If your child becomes agitated when you stop an activity for bath time or dinner, he may be more prone to outbursts. Understanding this can help you develop a more effective way to transition from one activity to another, which can help prevent tantrums.
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    Take notice of how well your child shares with other children. If you see that your child is possessive of his belongings or has some difficulty sharing, you can work on his social skills and try to incorporate sharing into his playtime routine. Working on issues that can cause tantrums can help you decrease their occurrence.

Method 4 of 8: Know the Triggers

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    Learn what things trigger a tantrum in your child and try to avoid them whenever possible.
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    Know your child’s limits and avoid pushing your luck. Sometimes we can’t alter everything in our lives to suit our children’s needs. Knowing a tantrum may ensue if you keep your toddler out way past his bedtime places you in a position where you are taking your chances.

Method 5 of 8: Take Steps to Avoid Tantrums

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    Place items that you know will invoke a tantrum out of your child’s sight whenever possible.
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    Use distraction as a way to prevent a tantrum. Children are easily distracted so use it to your advantage the moment you suspect that a temper tantrum may be on the horizon.
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    Try replacing the object that is may cause a temper tantrum with a more suitable object whenever possible.
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    Attempt to incorporate humor into a tense or stressful situation. Children will often forget what is upsetting them quickly if you can get them to laugh before a temper tantrum begins.

Method 6 of 8: Know What Not to Do

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    Avoid using spankings to get your point across. The only message you send is that physical punishment is an acceptable way to handle anger. You are chastising your child for being unable to control his emotions by being unable to control yours. Chances are all that you will accomplish is more negative behavior and more temper tantrums.
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    Refrain from allowing your child to have what he wants just to avoid a temper tantrum. All the child will learn from this behavior is that throwing a tantrum will get him what they want. The next time he may tantrum even harder just to get his way.
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    Steer clear of bribing a child with a treat or a reward as a way to prevent a tantrum. All this will do is set the stage for future tantrums when the child wants a treat or new toy.

Method 7 of 8: Intervene

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    Always step in and remove a child from harming himself or others if an outburst does occur. Place your child in a safe place away from others. If you must restrain him physically, hold him firmly until he has calmed down enough to let him go. Some children will kick and hit and struggle to get free from the restraint. Protect yourself as best as possible and remain determined and calm.

Method 8 of 8: Seek Help

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    If all attempts to prevent temper tantrums seem to be failing, you may want to speak with a professional about the situation. Sometimes help from a qualified professional may be the last resort.

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  • Seek professional assistance if you notice self destructive behavior or excessively violent behavior coming from your child. The outbursts may be the result of an underlying condition that is causing the child to behave in such a manner and it may have nothing to do with tantrums at all.

Article Info

Categories: Raising Children

Recent edits by: Emma, ElizabethD, Catdog


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