Monday, November 03, 2008

My husband has attention deficit disorder, and we have two sons. He is on medication which helps his temper. But when he does lose it, it is explosive. I have tried talking to him about it, but this behavior continues. What can I do to help him control it? I don't want my kids exposed to this anymore. Are there any support groups for spouses? Thank you.

ADHD can dramatically alter family life and tremendously complicates the job of parenting. People who live in a family where one or more parents have ADHD and perhaps one or more children have ADHD experience fundamental differences in their daily living that other families do not experience. Since it is often difficult for people with ADHD to calmly discuss and resolve differences, conflict is more frequent at home. That conflict is often energetic. Domestic battles and family squabbles often have an intensity that is impossible to ignore. In their book, “Driven to Distraction,” Ned Hallowell and John Ratey address this issue.

Dr. Hallowell, along with marketing consultant Melissa Orlov, also maintains a Web site you’d probably find helpful called ADHD and Marriage. I am not aware of specific support groups for spouses whose partners have ADHD. However, the Attention Deficit Disorder Association and the Children and Adults with ADHD organization offer plenty of information about relationship challenges that stem from having a spouse or partner with ADHD.