The Comic Section

What If the Odds of Conceiving Are Against You?

math and infertility

Have you ever wondered what your exact odds of conceiving are in any given month? Yes? No? Don’t care? Well, for those of you who like numbers and statistics, researchers in the UK have devised a mathematical formula that predicts a woman’s odds of conception based upon her age and the length of time she’s been trying to get pregnant. I’m not too ashamed to admit that when I first read the article, saw the equation and looked over the chart, my face looked a lot like this lil guy below. It didn’t get any better as I looked it over again and then for a third, before making one final attempt to try to comprehend just one single sentence. I. Just. Don’t. Understand. Math.

math formula

I am horrible with numbers and the only time I am good at adding or subtracting, is when I am trying to figure out how many times I can hit the snooze button before needing to rise and shine. My dislike for math isn’t new.  In fact, it dates all the way back to the first grade when my teacher introduced me to fractions while using food, mostly pictures of pizza.  What a mistake she made because I literally couldn’t concentrate on anything once she held up the yummy looking cardboard cut out pizza in order to demonstrate the fraction of slices that were left once lil’ Johnny ate two and Peggy Sue only had one.

Fourth grade math was a nightmare! Mrs. Johnson was sweet, but those word problems were of the devil! On a typical day, this is how I would read a word problem: If you have 4 pencils and I have 7 apples, how many pancakes will fit on the roof? Answer: Purple because aliens don’t wear hats.  

By the time I reached Middle School, I was as lost as an Easter egg on Christmas morning when the instructor started placing random letters of the alphabet next to the numbers.

my first reaction

Once I made it to high school, the words “trade and grade” were music to my ears. If you are unaware of this system, it is the process of when you trade your homework paper with your neighbor (who was usually your best friend) and miraculously, no matter what, every answer you wrote down was “correct.” I would like to personally give a huge shout out to my friends (you know who you are) because without each and every single one of you, I would not have a high school diploma–so thank you! However, unfortunately my heart goes out to the following students who submitted these homework/test answers and either did not have a lazy gracious teacher using the “trade and grade” system or a caring friend to help give them A+ they needed…


explain the slope

found x

hang man

There is an elephant in the way

My husband on the other hand, is an engineer and loves Math. He finds it ridiculously funny when I spend five minutes looking for a calculator just to add 4 and 7. (Okay, I’m not that bad (usually), but you get the point.) I thought just for the heck of it, I would include his fifth grade school picture.  Can you say, “hubba, hubba?” (Just kidding, this is not him)

engineering life

I am sure you have had enough about me and my inability to do Math, as well as my husband’s extreme sexiness, so let’s get back to the new formula and fertility chart that can calculate your odds of conceiving each month shall we? According to the chart, due to my age and the extended period of time in which I have already been trying to conceive without success, I have a possible five percent chance of conceiving this month.

meh. sheesh. bleck.

Like I said, I’m not the best at math, but I know that five percent is not a good number to have; however what I do have, is faith in a God who utilizes the “trade and grade system.” You see, here I am, sitting in my mess, having all the wrong numbers, but because I’m sitting next to His Son Jesus, who is also my best friend, and who has already traded in my brokenness for His righteousness, I don’t have to worry. Instead, I can have hope that my wrong numbers can be made right because it’s through Him and His “trade and grade system”, all things are possible. He can fudge the numbers for me

And friend, if you are reading this today and the odds are stacked up against you, just take a seat next to Jesus. He will be your best friend and can fudge the numbers for you too. 

I mean come on, if He can feed 5,000 men on 5 loaves and 2 fish, then I am confident He can take my measly five percent, and your measly five percent, and multiply it by His 20 in order to give the full percentage needed in order to bring home our baby birds…or does He need to multiply it by 10? I don’t know. I can’t seem to find my husband or a calculator…

God Math



34 thoughts on “What If the Odds of Conceiving Are Against You?”

    1. Ye we do!!! He seriously does laugh so hard when i cant even do simple math. Lol! I use my calculator for everything.

  1. This made me smile. I don’t hate math, but I’m really not a fan…I used to be very good at it, until I was so good that I was put into an accelerated program in middle school. Then I didn’t like it anymore. (Plus that is where my best friend for 3 years and I got into an argument and never spoke again, which really tainted the class for me afterwards.) I’m curious about this equation though!!! How old are you, by the way?

  2. Of course!! I love maths and stats, I have done the maths of my chances to conceive a zillion times! (for the record, without IVF, it’s basically 0). That being said, infertility has taught me that probabilities don’t matter. It’s such a case by case thing, that it can work with extremely tiny chances (I saw one person get pregnant with a healthy baby with 0.78% chances) and not get pregnant with really high ones (like 60-80%). xx

  3. I just gotta say…the more I get to know you the more I want to meet you and Daniel in person! My DH is an engineer too, and I HATE math…

  4. And then there was my baby, Hannah Marie…. I tried and failed to conceive my first 2 babies (though yes! There was success later on). But then! Hannah just “happened” when my 2nd hard-fought-for baby was only 5 months old and I was 37. Yikes! Where is the formula in that? Except the “Oh God, thank you for undeserved, unlooked for gifts” formula 🙂

  5. HAHA, those math equations and word problems crack me up. I have NEVER been good at math. Connor thinks it’s cute when I use my fingers to count sometimes (still – I know – I suck!). This is such a perfect analogy! Seriously! Love it!

  6. This is incredible to remember. Right now I’m thinking of all the ways this new adventure we are considering is impossible. It’s a great reminder that His math is far greater than my math!

    1. Girl i leave all math to the Danimal! I do pay our bills and manage the checkbook but i am not fond of it. Whenever the pizza boy delievers food and i have to sign and leave the tip, i panic abd sweat. I cant seem to add the tip into the amount for the total :/.

  7. You always crack me up Elisha! I’m terrible at math too and Arun is really good at it. I think as long as one of us is, that’s good 🙂 And you’re absolutely right, you don’t need to be good at math to know that the odds mean nothing. Here’s to all of us beating the odds! With God anything is possible!

  8. So, if there are letters in the equation I do not believe it can be called math anymore. When I was first taught math it involved numbers, so what is with those letters?! Clearly, math and I are not best friends. But like your husband, Mr. MPB has crazy advanced math/alphabet solving skills, so we manage to get by. 🙂

  9. I hate math. It should be banned except for brainiacs who love it. The rest of us are just butchering it. 😉

    I couldn’t help but think that a 5% chance is so much better than a less than 1% chance (which is me)! And I know that God doesn’t care about percents. Your chances of conceiving are 100% and I can’t WAIT to read that post!!!!

  10. This is so awesomely hilariously and beautiful all tangled together! I love this, Elisha. I love your faith and your optimism. Thank you for being such a light to my life ☺

    1. Hehehe! You math teacher crazy person you! I will never understand people who have the gift to enjoy and understand math.

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