A palliative care nurse reveals what end of life care is really like

Here's what you should know

Senior man at palliative care unit
Westend61Getty Images

We spoke to a Palliative nurse, Sally, who works with Marie Curie – a charity which helps those who are terminally ill have better end of life treatment.

What is Palliative care?

Palliative care is for people living with a terminal illness where a cure is no longer possible. It's not just for people diagnosed with terminal cancer, but any terminal condition. It's also for people who have a complex illness and need their symptoms controlled.

Palliative care aims to treat or manage pain and other physical symptoms. It will also help with any psychological, social or spiritual needs. Treatment will involve medicines, therapies, and any other support that specialist teams believe will help their patients. It includes caring for people who are nearing the end of life.

The goal is to help you and everyone affected by your diagnosis to achieve the best quality of life. Sally Monger Godfrey, 50, is a nurse for Marie Curie, a charity which provides those who have been diagnosed as terminally ill, better end of life treatment with. Last year, Marie Curie cared for 40,000 patients that were terminally ill.

A day in the life of a Marie Curie nurse

"I always work nights, as do most Marie Curie Nurses - looking after people at home. A typical shift is from 10pm to 7am," says Sally. "I start with a call to the family at 9pm, to reassure the patient and family that I'm on my way. If it's a new patient the first thing I do is to introduce myself and just get a feel for the situation. Every home visit is different – some people live by themselves, others have friends or family with them. I'll chat to the patient and to their friends and family to get a feel for how their day has been and what they need.

"It's the little things that can make a big difference, so I always try to find out things like the patient's likes and dislikes, for example, what they like to be called. That's the nice thing about nursing at home. You're able to get a feel for who the person is because they're in their own environment, surrounded by their friends, family, pets, belongings and photos."

Martin Lof/ANYONEGetty Images

"My main aim is always to make things as calm and peaceful as possible for both the patient and their family. I'm a registered nurse so I can give any prescribed medication, see to their medical needs, wash and change them, or even just hold their hands and be there to talk or listen. I work one or two nights a week so occasionally I do get to see the same people.

"Sometimes I'm there when the person dies, or shortly after, and then I can help the family by making calls to the undertakers, district nurses or GPs. It's often good if I can take these tasks on, so the family don't have to."

Emotional care

Sally, who has been working with Marie Curie for a number of years has had many poignant moments working as a palliative nurse. "I was once caring for a father who was ill. He had two daughters and when I arrived they were both utterly exhausted and they burst into tears when I got there. I was able to give them a break and let them go and have a lie down. I helped get their dad really peaceful, and when the girls came down in the morning they were so grateful for this they burst into tears again. I left at 7am and I heard that he died around 11am, so I know that I was able to make a big difference to that family in his final hours.

"There was another time when I was looking after the mother of a consultant. He worked for the health service but had no real idea what palliative care nurses do. Afterwards, I received a letter from him praising our compassion and thoughtfulness for taking into account his mother's needs.

"I also cared for an elderly man who had a dog in the corner of the room. I wasn't sure quite what to do when I got there, but during the night I put the dog up on the bed. He was quite a big dog but he just curled up next to his owner and I could really see a difference when I did so. The man became much calmer, the dog really helped him.'

Five things Sally wants you to know about end of life care:

  • Palliative care is a very different type of care to the usual. We're not striving to make people better, instead we're there to make people as comfortable as possible in their final days
  • Palliative care can often be as much about the patient's family as it is about them – it's about making the whole family comfortable
  • My main piece of advice is to never be afraid to ask for help. There's a lot of help available out there that people don't really know about until they're in that situation
  • A lot of people worry that we'll 'take over' but that's not what we do. We just aim to compliment the care already being given
  • I'd remind anyone caring for someone that it's so important to care for themselves as well, to give them the support they need in a tough time

    Advertisement - Continue Reading Below