Reasons Why The English Language Is Hard To Learn:

  1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
  2. The farm was used to produce produce.
  4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
  8. e to present the present.
  9. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
  10. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
  11. I did not object to the object.
  12. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
  13. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
  14. They were too close to the door to close it.
  15. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
  16. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
  17. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
  18. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
  19. After a number of injections my jaw got number.
  20. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
  21. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
  22. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

“Weird Al” Yankovic - Word Crimes




Become a member of the The Apostrophe Protection Society today!


Eye stold dis frum anodder net. Candidate for a Pullet Surprise Often called “An Owed to the Spelling Checker”

by Jerrold H. Zar








If an S and an I and an O and a U
With an X at the end spell Su;
And an E and a Y and an E spell I,
Pray what is a speller to do?

Then, if also an S and an I and a G
And an HED spell side,
There's nothing much left for a speller to do
But to go commit siouxeyesighed. — Charles Follen Adams, “An Orthographic Lament”

The New Age of REASON Spelling: See The New Age of REASON by John M. Culkin, Science Digest-August 1981.

“The English alphabet is pure insanity. It can hardly spell any word in the language with any large degree of certainty. …The silliness of the English alphabet are quite beyond enumeration. Where as the English orthography needs…simplifying, the English alphabet needs it two or three million times more.” - Mark Twain.

…an intelligent child who is bidden to spell “DEBT”, and very properly spells it “D-E-T”, is caned for not spelling it with a “B” because Julius Caesar spelled it with a “B”. - George Bernard Shaw. Alfubet F/\R hu Komput.r /_\j

See also:Alfubet F/\R hu Komput.r /_\j (Tittle is close has I could get in ASCII.) by John Culkin-Science Digest- August 1982. “UNIFON, a phonetic alphabet that is five times more efficient than our ABC's, may revolutionize reading and writing and help us communicate better with computers.” …“Fans of UNIFON don't want to wait another 3,000 years before eliminating the illogic from our language.” The UNIFON Alphabet (Trade mark) is by John Malone.

UNIFON is now part of the Unicode standard, (UNIFON:U+E740 - U+E76F).

What is Unicode? It's a 16-bit character code standard (also known as ISO 10646) which is intended to provide character codes for, in principle, all the world's written languages.