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- September 2019
Arranged Marriage
   Mon Sep 09, 2019 10:33 am

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Arranged Marriage

Permanent Linkby HelgaMarselos on Mon Sep 09, 2019 10:33 am

Marriage is an important phenomenon in the lives of people worldwide. Without distinction of religion, social traditions and history background, marriage has always been viewed as an agreement between two sides, namely groom’s and bride’s families. Nowadays, the majority of people have an image that marriage is the unity of two loving hearts which decided to share all troubles and happiness together. However, marriages based on love are a comparatively young phenomenon since for many centuries marriages were arranged by parents but not by children. Currently, arranged marriages are a norm in many countries; generally, these are the Islamic states though this phenomenon can be met in Western civilizations, as well. Some parents cannot accept the fact that their lovely son or daughter will marry a person whom they do not like because he/she does not correspond to their image of a son- or daughter-in-law.
The routes of arranged marriages go back to times when parents viewed marriage as a way to receive new opportunities, improve their material wellbeing and tie new connections. Kings made arranged marriages to receive the loyal ally and extend their power in the region. Common people also contracted arranged marriages though their goal was less global. They wanted to ensure that their son or daughter will have a successful marriage which will not bring any financial troubles in the future.
According to this fact, it can be stated that arranged marriage is a form of a contract between two parts introduced by parents. Sometimes, children do not even know their future husband/wife till the day before marriage. However, this practice has been widespread all over the world for many centuries and still exists nowadays. The negative aspects of arranged marriage always make people view this phenomenon from the negative perspective though it also includes many advantages for both parents and the new family.
Benefits of Arranged Marriages
Arranged marriages are considered a negative phenomenon. A widespread stereotype creates an image where parents force their children to get married against their will in order to satisfy some personal interests such as money, social status or business. Movie-makers support this idea creating films in which two lovers become the victims of cruel parents who are against their love. In reality, arranged marriage has very little in common with similar behavior. It is necessary to clarify the issue that arranged marriage and the forced one are distinct from each other. The tradition of arrange marriage still exists in many eastern cultures, but it does not mean that parents marry their children against their will. In fact, parents search for a future husband or wife for their children without their direct participation, and then their children answer whether they want to marry the chosen woman/man or not. If children do not agree, parents continue their search till the result will satisfy both sides. The main point of the arranged marriage is that parents are considered more experienced in this issue, they are able to take into account different aspects, and their mind is not blinded by love.
According to the statistic, the percentage of divorces among arranged marriages is lower than in non-arranged ones. In addition, the research proves that the level of satisfaction in the former is also higher than in the latter. The satisfaction in marriages does not mean longevity because in some societies divorces are unacceptable and rare. According to this fact, satisfaction in this research was defined as an enjoyable state of a couple. To prove the statement that arranged marriages are more successful than non-arranged ones, a qualitative study was conducted, which included the interviewing of 33 individuals, 26 of them were in marriage. The age of the interviewed people ranged between 26-80 years old. The average number of years in marriage was 19.7. The majority of participants were very religious; 26 people stated that religion plays an important role in their lives. The result of the research showed that the average level of satisfaction in arranged marriages was 8.3 where 1 is the lowest rate and 10 is the highest one.
Another interesting fact is that people were asked to define their level of satisfaction at different periods of marriage. Many of them informed that in the very beginning, the level of satisfaction was very low, about 3-4; however, it increased within the time and reached the highest point after many years of life as a couple. The opposite statistic is monitored among non-arranged marriages. Accordingly, in the very beginning of marriage, such couples state about high level of satisfaction, but it decreases every year, and 50 percent of such marriages end with divorces.
Another advantage of arranged marriages is a stable and comfortable life. Indeed, it is difficult to predict what may happen in two, five or ten years and how political or social life will reflect on the marriage wellbeing. However, arranged marriages are less vulnerable to such dramatic changes and introduce better life conditions for young couples. Generally, arranged marriage is possible if groom’s and bride’s parents could come to a certain compromise. An arrangement cannot be achieved if one of the sides does not satisfy at least the minimal expectations of another side. For instance, in case the groom is not viewed as a potential breadwinner who has a good job and opportunity for the career growth, a father of the bride would probably not allow such marriage because he wants to be sure that his daughter will receive everything necessary for a careless life. The groom’s parents also price the wellbeing of a bride’s family and the opportunities it gives to their son. For this reason, many people view arranged marriages as a kind of business. However, such a necessity creates a background, which helps to develop reliable relations between people which will not be spoiled by financial problems and a failure of illusions about perfect love.
The Other Side of Arranged Marriages
Arranged marriages are a rare phenomenon nowadays which becomes more an exclusion rather than a norm. Nevertheless, many cultures still obey the principles of arranged marriages. Despite the positive outcome that arranged marriage may bring, there are many disadvantages hidden and usually not discussed. One of the greatest disadvantages is the violation of human rights. Arranged marriages do not often mean forced marriages, but it also does not predetermine that a woman or a man is able to choose her/his future husband or wife according to own will. Arranged marriages ignore the basic principle of modern perception of marriage which is love and romantic relationships. However, these feelings may arise after marriage when people know each other better. Marriage becomes an initial step like the first date in arranged marriages.
Generally, arranged marriages exclude the time people spend to know each other before marriage. In non-arranged marriages, couples spend a lot of time together; they learn each other, test their feelings and get to know whether this person is the one with whom they want to spend the rest of their life. In arranged marriages, this stage of relationships does not exist, and people get to know each other after the marriage. Even if they like each other after the first meeting, they may hate their marriage after a few months. The first appearances can be deceptive because a gentle and a kind man chosen by parents may turn into a real tyrant after the wedding. However, a few years of dating would probably demonstrate the true nature of such a person.
Finally, the biggest disadvantage of arranged marriages is the guarantee of financial wellbeing. One of the essential aspects of the arranged marriage is stability. Hence, many arranged marriages become successful because of the stability and unconcern about the future. Non-arranged marriages do not put financial stability at the top place. Many couples have nothing in the beginning of their marriage life, but with their mutual support, love and care, they cope with many challenges which may ruin an arranged marriage. Nevertheless, financial wellbeing is one of the reasons why arranged marriages are more successful. Many couples divorce because they face financial challenges which cannot be solved by their love. Consequently, their relationship where love plays the key role fade away, and people have to accept the reality that love is not the only factor in a marriage.
To sum up, it should be noted that arranged marriages are the old practice that has existed for centuries and still exists nowadays. Despite the widespread stereotype about negative aspects of arranged marriage, there are a lot of beneficial outcomes it may bring. From ancient times, choosing a future husband or wife was parents’ obligation. They had rich life experience, understood the importance of factors that influenced a successful marriage and thus, could make a right decision as well as choose a person suitable for their son or daughter. Current researches prove that arranged marriages are more successful than non-arranged ones, and the level of love in such couples is higher than in non-arranged ones which live together for more than 20 years.
The negative image of arranged marriages is connected with misunderstandings and stereotypes about this phenomenon. Some of them really take place, but they are mostly exaggerated. For instance, the practice of forced marriage is often confused with arranged marriage. Those cultures which still make arranged marriages do not force children to marry against their will. An arrange marriage predetermines that parents play an important role in this process, but the final word rests with children.
Despite the advantages that arranged marriages bring, there are also some negative outcomes. One of the weakest points in arranged marriage is pre-marriage period when people know each other. Occasionally, arranged marriages do not predetermine much time before marriage that a couple may spend to know each other better. It may require months or even years to understand whether one likes a person or not. Another disadvantage is absence of romantic feelings on the initial stage. Within the time, these feelings may appear or they will never be revealed. Hence, it is difficult to predict whether an arranged marriage will be successful from the perspective of love and intimate relations which play an important role in marriage.
Arranged marriages offer many benefits for parents and their children. The relationships in such couples base on respect to each other and on the choice approved by parents. The negative issues periodically arise though they cannot be avoided even in non-arranged marriages. According to this fact, the stereotypes that exist about arranged marriages are much exaggerated, and this type of marriage succeeds more than an average non-arranged marriage does.

About the author:
Helga Marselos,
the blogger and a writer at https://topwritingservice.com/buy-blog-posts/

1 Comment Viewed 51 times

RE: Arranged Marriage

Permanent Linkby Anonymous on Tue Feb 11, 2020 11:29 am

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