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How to Tell a Parent That You Feel Neglected Due to Their Attention to Your Sibling

Three Parts:Assessing Your BehaviorTelling Your Parents You Feel NeglectedKeeping Communication OpenCommunity Q&A

Feeling neglected because you think that your sibling is getting more attention than you is a bad feeling. It is a common issue for many children in families with siblings and if parents have not been careful to balance their praise and shows of love, or there is real favoritism taking place, it can be a challenge to fix. If you're feeling forgotten and neglected, it's important to tell your parents and to seek a change.

Part 1
Assessing Your Behavior

  1. 1
    Assess your personality. Have you done things to cause your parents to feel uncomfortable or annoyed around you? For example, lacking manners, snapping at your parents and hassling them out a lot can lead to being ignored or treated differently at times.
  2. 2
    Consider the ways in which you can change your approach before expecting others to change. Indeed, simply changing how you act toward your parents may be sufficient to get you the attention you deserve, and to restore the sought after balance between you and your sibling. For example:
    • Ask your parents questions starting with "May I?" rather than "Can I?"
    • Always say "please" and "thank you".
    • Never be rude. This means, always use your manners, never hit or kick others, communicate in a calm and constructive ways, etc.
  3. 3
    If you have been behaving badly, slowly but surely behave in a better way. If you change too quickly, your parent will think that something is wrong or that you're after something more than behavioral change. Don't be a goodie-two-shoes overnight. In short, become an individual that deserves good notice but slowly doing things nicely and calmly around the house.

Part 2
Telling Your Parents You Feel Neglected

  1. 1
    Carefully convince your parents to give you more attention. Your sibling can't have the attention forever. Find a time when your parents aren't with your sibling. Get them together in a room when everyone is calm and ready to listen.
  2. 2
    Start your conversation off positively. Begin with some compliments, such as: "Your hair looks nice today, Mom!" You could also share good news about what's happening to your life.
  3. 3
    Coax yourself into expressing your feelings about the undivided attention they are giving your sibling. Be sure to confess you feel jealous and feel neglected.
    • You could say something like: "Mom (or Dad), I think you have been paying too much attention to X and that it is very unfair. I would appreciate it if you show me as much attention as you give my brother/sister".
    • Explain to your parents how you feel about your siblings.
    • Tell your parents why you have the impression that they don't love you as mush as they love your sibling. Always state things from your position, so that they can see how you're feeling. Do not blame them or tell them off; it's possible that they don't even realize what they're doing to you.
  4. 4
    Consider that there may be a need to be sympathetic to your parents, especially if you're the eldest. They just want to have a little time with the younger kids, maybe because you've grown up and they feel like they don't know how to talk to you.

Part 3
Keeping Communication Open

  1. 1
    Try to be more open with your parents. Talk with them about your daily activities (at school/during a visit to somewhere/about your school, friends etc). This will give them cause to believe you and you can gain their trust.

Community Q&A

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  • Remember, the tone in your voice could also change the way parents react. If you act whiny and begin complaining, though, your parents will most likely think you are not being mature or reasonable.
  • Make sure when you talk to your parents you are both in a good mood, as it will set the mood for your parents, who will feel more understanding.

Article Info

Categories: Dealing with Sibling Conflicts | Telling Parents Important Things

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