Is There Anything Rich People Won't Ask Servants to Do?

Sometimes it’s fun to consider what the rich require of their employees. It’s an inductive way of coming to a better understanding of the wealthy. By examining what services the rich elect to purchase—instead of performing themselves—it is possible to get a sense of their idiosyncrasies and peculiar manner.

A number of people believe that those who have a great deal of money are inherently different from the rest of the population. Consider the painfully over-cited F. Scott Fitzgerald line, “Let me tell you something about the very rich. They are different from you and me.” I’m not sure this is true. I suspect that individuals from all backgrounds have an equal capacity for out-of-the-ordinary behavior. The wealthy just happen to be in a position to express their eccentricities without limitation.

Whatever the case, it isn’t unfair to call the rich bizarre. You can see it in the chores they assign their help. I always like to analyze parenting skills. The wealthy are notoriously bad at parenting, which is especially ironic because they have sufficient resources to provide almost anything their children require.

Years ago, I knew a woman who began working for an affluent family as an accountant. But over time, her duties shifted. At the family’s request, she would attend to extremely personal matters— managing the housekeeping staff, keeping track of relatives’ birthdays, and taking care of small children for several weeks on end. These wealthy parents preferred not to bear the burden of traditional childrearing duties. And they paid this particular employee increasing sums of money to subsume their roles. In fact, the parents got so carried away that the children began to call their hired caretaker “Mom.” In nearly all but biology, the former accountant had become their Mother. The parents were constantly away on exotic shooting excursions, visiting their proper home only on rare occasions.

This example is only one of many I have witnessed where affluent people employ workers to handle the most intimate family affairs. Other notable ones include paying someone to visit your kids at boarding school or in the hospital when they are sick, as well as hiring a stand-in to attend family weddings and funerals. (Of course, the latter applies solely to relatives from whom you are not expecting an inheritance.)

And I guess I’ve also noticed the early-early morning hockey game or figure skating competition that just doesn’t fit into the plans of the late-late night socialite. The drivers and the nannies stand dutifully at rinkside, shouting the encouragement that life usually scripts for frenetic parents. It always seems a little off-center to watch the enthusiastic skaters look smilingly at the surrogate cheerleaders practicing faux bonding. Not that unusual, though, especially among the privileged set.

There is also the domestic helper who is happily given the most awkward parental task of all: teaching overly mannered kids about the scintillating facts of life. I have known more than one family where the touchy job has intentionally been handed over to a staff member.

So indeed the rich are bizarre. But that isn’t because they are fundamentally more dysfunctional than anyone else. Everybody encounters a patch of horrendous parenting here and there. The wealthy just have more money to indulge bad caretaking instincts. And they always seem to seize the moment with distinction.
