Practical tips for finding a no-tears solution

  • Encourage your baby to get plenty to eat during the day. He'll learn that daytime is for eating and nights are for sleeping. And he'll be less likely to wake up hungry in the wee hours.
  • Establish a regular nap schedule. A consistent sleep routine during the daytime helps regulate nighttime sleep.
  • Put your baby to bed on the early side, such as 6:30 or 7. Don't fall into the trap of keeping your baby awake so he'll be more tired. An overtired baby may actually have a harder time getting to sleep. Some experts say babies who go to bed earlier sleep longer, too.
  • Make changes slowly. If your baby's on a later schedule, don't suddenly move bedtime from, say, 9:30 to 7 o'clock. Make bedtime a little earlier each night until you reach the time that seems best for your baby.
  • Find a soothing bedtime routine and stick to it. For example, a bath, then a book, then a lullaby, then bed, at the same time every night.
  • Develop some "key words," as Pantley calls them, to signal to your child that it's time for sleep. It could be a simple "ssshhhh" sound or a softly spoken phrase like "It's sleepy time." Repeat the sound or phrase when you're soothing your child to sleep or back to sleep so he'll associate it with bedtime.
  • Don't respond to every noise your child makes. Learn to distinguish a real cry from a sleepy whimper. If you're not sure, it's okay to wait for a minute outside the door so you won't disturb him if he's actually asleep.

Does "no cry" work?

We can't say it often enough: No single sleep strategy is effective with every baby – or even for one baby all the time. You'll have to get to know your child, be flexible, and figure out what works for you.

No-tears advocates admit that the approach can take a while – longer, in all likelihood, than CIO techniques – but they say that in the long run it's less traumatic for baby and parents alike.

Elizabeth Pantley writes that when it comes to sleep training, parents have a choice between time and tears: "The irrefutable truth is that we cannot change a comfortable, loving-to-sleep (but waking-up-all-night) history to a go-to-sleep-and-stay-asleep-on-your-own routine without one of two things: crying or time. Personally, I choose time."

No-cry strategies may work well for you. If they don't, you may want to try a  cry-it-out method.