Secondary school: what to expect

We hope that by taking into account some practical and emotional considerations about your child's secondary school education you'll both be able to negotiate the transition with ease and enjoy this milestone event.

Help for parents



In the early days of starting at secondary give your child a bit of leeway - they're going to need a bit of 'bedding in' to their new routine, getting used to following a timetable and absorbing all that physics, biology and french etc. Expect quite a bit of tiredness at the end of the day so cut them some slack at weekends and let things shift down a gear at home to accommodate the new weekday routine. However it will pay to get into a routine regarding homework sooner rather than later. After-school study and revising will become part of the fabric of your child's education in next few years so helping them to get into good homework habits early will reap huge rewards for your child, both on an academic and personal level. As preparation for the world of work, having some self-discipline and an ability to work to a deadline is something they will get used to through doing their homework.

As a parent there are lots of practical considerations you'll need to keep on top of ahead of your child starting secondary school and thereafter. Having all elements of the required school uniform is an obvious one, as well as more sophisticated items of stationery and various books. You might need:

  • Calculator
  • Pencil case and plenty of pens, pencils, rubber, ruler, pencil sharpener, etc.
  • Geometry set
  • Appropriate sized rucksack/bag
  • English & French dictionary (or other language dictionary as necessary) 

We also have a uniform checklist and helpful tips here

Building your child's confidence




Recognising the signs of bullying

starting secondary schoolSometimes it feels that aggressive banter, name calling and teasing has always been a part of playground culture. But there is a big difference between brief school yard disputes that are soon forgotten about and proper bullying. True bullying has a debilitating effect on the victim. At its worst it can ruin lives and leave severe emotional scars children carry with them into adulthood. Today's parents not only have to worry about verbal jibes; the internet and mobile phone technology has given rise to sinister strains of bullying such as 'happy slapping' or dispersing hate campaigns via online chat rooms and social networking sites.

As a parent you need to be in tune to your child's emotional state wherever possible - a noticeable change in their demeanour could indicate there's a problem at school which they may not be telling you about. Here are some signs you should look out for in your child - of course, be wary of assuming they are definitely being bullied if they display any of the below so tread carefully and approach the subject as sensitively as possible if you think something isn't right.

  • Your child appears to suddenly go off school. They may complain of 'feeling ill' (more frequently than usual) and ask to stay off school.
  • Your child seems withdrawn, anxious and stressed but 'closes up' quickly if you comment on their behaviour.
  • Your child has nightmares, panic attacks or may wet the bed.
  • Any interest they may have had in after-school activities or indeed hanging out with friends seems to dry up.
  • Clothes, belongings or dinner money goes missing.
  • Your child may come home with physical markings such as bruises or burns.

For more information on bullying visit our dedicated bullying section.

As a boy or girl starting secondary school...

Getting ready





Making friends

Starting secondary schoolIf you're worried about making friends at your new school the main thing to try and remember is that everyone will be in the same boat. They might not look it, but even the most confident people will be feeling just like you on that first day at school, so don't feel shy or scared. Here are some important things to remember as you settle in to your new school: 

  • When you get to school look around you. Think how everyone else is feeling.... Are there some loud boys and girls talking excitedly? Are they the sort of people you'd like to be friends with? Are there some people who are quiet? Would they make better friends?
  • As you go through the first days and weeks you will get to know the people you sit next to. If you're feeling a bit lonely though, try to spot others in the class who are a bit quieter - they are probably feeling worse than you!
  • So how do you make a new friend? See if you can make an effort to walk out of a classroom at the same time as them and make a couple of comments. 'Cor it's hard to keep up with all this writing, do you manage alright?' or ''I'm starving now! can't wait for lunch - do you have packed lunch too?' So start with a comment and then ask a question - or tell them a joke!
    The next day do the same, or sit by them in the playground, and gradually you'll build up a friendship.
  • 'Eye contact' is where you look at people's eyes as you talk to them - not staring of course, but just looking into their face. It's a very friendly thing to do, but also quite difficult if you're feeling a bit shy. Try really hard to do this when you talk to people and they will find it easier to talk back. 
  • Never feel you have to be part of the 'in crowd'. If you're happier in small groups of just one or two others, that's fine. Remember that with friendships quality is much, much better than quantity!
  • There will be plenty of opportunities to make friends at your new school - it's not just about having friends in your class. Strike up conversation with someone as you wait for the school bus together, or join an after-school activity, such as the football team or music club.
  • Remember that you can't - and wouldn't want to - be friends with everyone. A true friend is a friend for life so don't try to force friendships. True friendships happen naturally and don't require you to 'change' your character or opinions to fit in with that person.

Good luck! 

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