How to Write Good or Gooder…

I’m always keen to improve my writing, and with examples like the ones below, I shouldn’t have no problems…The first set of rules was written by Frank L. Visco and originally published in the June 1986 issue of Writers’ Digest. I found them on the Plain Language website, put out by the government to help its employees to write better…but I was reminded of the rules in the first place by my internet friend Lori Day

  1. Avoid Alliteration. Always.
  2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
  4. Employ the vernacular.
  5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
  6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
  7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
  8. Contractions aren’t necessary.
  9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
  10. One should never generalize.
  12. Comparisons are as bad as clichés
  14. Profanity sucks.
  15. Be more or less specific.
  16. Understatement is always best.
  17. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
  18. One word sentences? Eliminate.
  19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
  20. The passive voice is to be avoided.
  23. Who needs rhetorical questions?

The second set of rules is derived from William Safire‘s Rules for Writers. Poor WS may be turning in his grave to see how the rules have been ‘derived’…still, here they are:

  1. 1. Parenthetical words however must be enclosed in commas.
  2. It behooves you to avoid archaic expressions.
  3. Avoid archaeic spellings too.
  8. Subject and verb always has to agree.
  13. Don’t never use no double negatives.
  14. Poofread carefully to see if you any words out.
  16. Eschew obfuscation.
  17. No sentence fragments.
  18. Don’t indulge in sesquipedalian lexicological constructions.
  19. A writer must not shift your point of view.
  20. Don’t overuse exclamation marks!!
  22. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
  24. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
  26. Always pick on the correct idiom.
  27. The adverb always follows the verb.
  30. And always be sure to finish what

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