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Monday, April 9, 2012

What Language Do You Speak?

When I say language, my reference has nothing to do with English, Spanish or Chinese. I am asking you if you know if you speak the language of success or excuses. I am also asking you to consider the language you use when you are thinking, or speaking to yourself.

I am asking, “What do you language?” Your language is in your words, your tone, your appearance, the way you get things done and the movement of your body. Those are ways to language in the world. Do you really hear what you say when you encounter problems? How do you move? Do you language negatively when you encounter something that is considered great?

Some of you may think I’m talking about how well you communicate. Others may think I’m saying that’s the language of a pessimist or optimist. I’m saying neither. I’m saying that a pessimist is languaging something. Unfortunately, what they may be languaging is “I’m terrified of failure because I will look bad. Therefore, I have to find something wrong so I can get out of being responsible for the outcome.” That same pessimist will communicate his point very well. However, they will never tell you the language they are speaking is fear of failure.

On a personal level, people tend to language negatively when they meet someone they are attracted to. They meet the person and learn about them only to ask, “This guy or woman is so great there must be something wrong with them.” From there, they spend their time looking for any flaws. What language is that? Is it empowering for you or the other person?

If you start to listen to what you say when you encounter positive or negative people or situations, you gain insight into who you are. Why do I say that? What you say is who you are. Are you possibility or impossibility?

Take a simple example like the word ‘not’. Can you count the amount of times you use it in a 24-hour period?  Try spending the next 24-hours without using the word ‘not’. You will see that it is so much a part of the English speaking culture that you actually have to think about what you really want to say. If you eliminate the word ‘not’, you will have to say what it is you really want to see happen, and this language gets you moving and talking in a much more empowering direction. 

If we go back to the example of meeting someone you find attractive, your language could be something like: “I find you to be fascinating. I would like to know more about you and how you have accomplished all that you have,” or “ I want to understand what made you start to think the way you think.” This way of communicating can be very empowering for both people. For one, you acknowledge the person for being exceptional, instead of putting them down. For two, you are engaging the person instead of keeping your distance while you search for something wrong. Thirdly, you just might learn something you never knew.

Consider this. Your language reflects the world you live in. Therefore, I am suggesting that when situations arise it is to your benefit to stop and ask yourself: “What’s my language?” Also, watch the movement of your body. Then think about what you would like to see happen. From there, speak the language that is correlated to the outcome you are seeking.



  1. Ted, this is an interesing perspective that would help many people better navigate their way to their goals. Not lofty goals, but goals of getting comfortable in relationships as they go through their daily lives.

    I also find this concept of "What do you language?" and "What's my language?" closely related to the development of a worldview that seeks to understand how to build positive relationships with those who can help us to shape a more effective worldview.

    Finally, as I have traveled around the country and the world, I have observed children and adults who openly seek to understand others whom they meet, to follow their natural tendancy to learn about those whom they meet who are different. I have determined that they are uninhibited and don't use the word "not" in limiting ways, except to ask "Why not me?" They don't approach the unknown beginning at "I cannot." Theirs is the language of liberation, the language of a "knowledge seeker."

    Those of us who are liberated from the constraints of the word "not" must teach others about the empowerment that comes with the language of the "knowledge seeker." We are all born with an innate instinct to develop this language. We only have to watch babies and toddlers investigating the environment around them. We just have to cultivate that innate language as our environment grows larger and populated with more people to interact with.

  2. Thanks for your reply Roger. I always appreciate your responses and they are always well thought out.

    Well put on developing new worldview perspectives. When you distinguish your language, you can alter how the world shows up for you. Before you distinguish it, everything is the same, except, different.

    Yes, there are people who are committed to transforming themselves. The knowledge seekers often have the power to distinguish individuals as possibility. Every individual possesses or is a possibility beyond what you know or have experienced. Those who think everyone is the same but different miss out on the possibilities they can learn and experience with others.

    As far as lofty goals, this is a management methodology. It is designed to achieve quantum leaps. And language is a tool for accomplishing lofty goals. When you distinguish lofty goals, you will see lofty goals are languaged. If you listen to people you will see and hear there is the language of poor performers, mediocrity, good and extraordinary. Contrary to what people say bad luck has nothing to do with poor performers. Just as good luck has nothing to do with extraordinary performers. Performance is languaged and one’s performance is an expression of one’s self.

    When you can distinguish your language, you can distinguish the language that derails you from accomplishing lofty goals. Without the distinction, you may depend on hope or luck.