Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Should I Scold My Child For Having An Accident

The potty training process has enormous potential for negative emotional interaction. Potty training is emotional for a child because it requires feeling secure and confident. It requires self awareness and self control, both of which are extraordinarily complex for potty age children. When the experience is difficult, a child may want to withdraw or give up, which may be done quietly or vehemently.

The potty training process is equally difficult for some parents. It revolves around a very personal balance of parent child control and is a very public measure of child development.

Scolding heaps more emotional complexity into the mix. It's so much better to focus on skill building. Harsh criticism distracts your child form his goal of success and detracts from your effectiveness. When you scold your child, you are communicating strong disapproval as a way of motivating a different behavior. You are adding the unnecessary threat of fear and rejecting to a teaching situation. You don't have to resort to such extreme measures. You cannot win this game if your child chooses to exert retaliatory control. And you do not want to win if your child is left feeling bruised and battered.