Questions You Might Be Asked If You Come out as Transgender in Identity

If you do decide to come out as transgender, there may be a number of questions asked of you.

Depending on who’s being asked and who’s asking, answers will vary, but the question and guide answers below will hopefully help you to prepare for some of the common questions and reactions when someone comes out as transgender.  Reproduced with permission from LGBT Youth Scotland.

Q: What does transgender mean?

A: Your own definition of how you identify.

Q: What if you meet a nice boy/girl?

A: If they are that nice they will accept me for who I am. Who I fancy is not determined by my gender.

Q: You’ll never be able to have kids.

A: There are lots of options for trans people to have kids.

Q: You’ll never be a real man/woman.

A: What’s the definition of a real man/woman, who’s to say what a man/woman is?

Q: I’ll always see you as a son/daughter/brother/sister.

A: Hopefully over time it will change and it would mean a lot to me if you tried.

Q: But I love having a son/daughter/brother/sister.

A: I’m still the same person inside, I’ve just changed on the outside.

Q: You don’t have a penis/breasts & a vagina how can you be a man/woman?

A: It’s how you feel inside that counts, not what’s on the outside.

Q: But I would never have guessed.

A: Why would you have expected to be able to tell? I wouldn’t have expected you to.

Q: So that’s why you’re so masculine/bitchy/etc...

A: I’m like that because that’s who I am not because of my gender. That’s just my personality.

If you get personal questions about body/surgery/sex life, it’s your choice what you feel comfortable answering. Would you ask someone who wasn’t trans that sort of question?

For more information check out the Coming Out guide from LGBT Youth Scotland, and go to their website for extra advice and resources.