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Don't Attack Yourself

This parody (written by Greg Crowther) is sung to the tune of "Express Yourself" (written by Madonna and Stephen Bray and performed by Madonna).


Here is Madonna's little-known advisory on the dangers of autoimmunity, in which the immune system mistakenly attacks components of a person's own body. An antigen is any molecule that can trigger an immune response; self-antigens are molecules within oneself that trigger such a response.

I wrote this for a 2016 seminar with the UW Medicine Teaching Scholars.


Come on, students...
Do you believe in autoimmunity?
'Cause I've got something to say about it,
And it goes something like this....

Don't attack self antigens, baby!
Practice self-tolerance.
You know you know you've got to
Give your body a chance to heal,
Unless you know the threat is real!

You don't need multiple sclerosis
To slow your axons down.
You don't need myasthenia gravis,
When acetylcholine can't be bound.
What you need is ... NOT type 1 diabetes;
Keep your beta cells like new.
If you're a fan of the thyroid gland,
Then Graves' Disease is not for you.


Don't attack yourself!

Other Files

MP3 (demo, with Karaoke NYC)

Lesson Plan



Study Questions

(1) Provide a bit more detail on how multiple sclerosis "slows your axons down."

(2) Provide a bit more detail on how myasthenia gravis affects acetylcholine.

(3) Provide a bit more detail on how type 1 diabetes mellitus affects the beta cells.

(4) Provide a bit more detail on how Graves' disease affects the thyroid gland.

(Answers may be found on the answers page.)