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What you don’t know about Masturbation

Masturbation also known as self-sex is the erotic stimulation of one’s self sexually. It is done with hands, fingers, a vibrator and lubricants that stimulates one’s genitals for sexual satisfaction.

Masturbation is addictive and very rampant too. It is an activity few talk about but many partake in. Therefore, we shouldn’t shy away from talking about it.

Although masturbation is often associated with males, it is performed by both genders.

Most people learn to masturbate during adolescence, but the number of females who indulge in self sex cannot be compared to their male counterparts.

Masturbation is often used as an escape or coping activity for stress, anger, loneliness, tiredness, fear and generally for sexual satisfaction. Most people that indulge in this act can’t go a day without masturbating.

Like any sexual activity, masturbation helps release endorphins, a chemical in the body that promotes a sense of happiness and can relieve stress. A study from Harvard’s Health Professional Followup also showed that masturbation may help lower the risk of prostate cancer in men, but you and I know honestly that men have not been masturbating all these years because they want to boost their prostate health.

Unfortunately, not all of the possible side effects of masturbation are necessarily good. Masturbation most times serves as a chronic way to avoid intimacy with others, which can cause anxiety in the long run. Chronic masturbation can actually change your personality.

Sexual intercourse between two people has many benefits for men and women. It reduces blood pressure, promotes heart health and prostate health. It also promotes companionship and creates stronger bond. But masturbation doesn’t have all these health benefits.

You may argue that it is low-risk and you are not hurting anybody, and it’s the safest form of sex because no one has ever caught an STD from himself or made herself pregnant. But is it really low-risk activity? The risks involved in Masturbation very much out weighs the gains.

Signs of chronic masturbation include:

Extreme absent-mindedness.


Deep desire for isolation, yet has feelings of loneliness.

Highly irritable or easily irritated.

Day dreaming.

Make excuses when it is sex time with partner.

Forgetfulness, and poor retention leading to difficulty in school.


Moodiness and depression.

Suicidal thoughts in some cases.

Generally pessimistic.

Extra sensitive to guilt, shame, and regret,  low self esteem and poor confidence level.

Frequent masturbation can cause serious skin irritation. Forcefully bending an erect penis can rupture the chambers filled with blood,  which can lead to a condition called penile fracture or swelling. Most men will need surgery to repair it.

Masturbation and sexual fantasy creates a major barrier to having healthy and fulfilling relationships, because you become easily bored sexually with your partner.

When it comes to having sex with the man or woman you love, you end up choosing porn, fantasy and masturbation over them. You just no longer desire sex with a real person.

Another effect of masturbating is that when you have prolonged intercourse with your partner, you can’t experience orgasm. Most men that masturbate often pull out of the woman, then use their hand with the help of lubricant on their genital and in less than 2 minutes, they are able to climax.

Females most commonly masturbate by stroking or rubbing the vulva, especially the clitoris, with hands and fingers until orgasm is reached.

With repetition, your brain can learn to prefer sexual fantasy and masturbation to real sexual intimacy with your spouse. As a matter of fact, your brain’s arousal circuit can become so dominantly wired for self-sex that physical intimacy with your spouse or your partner becomes increasingly difficult and eventually impossible. Your partner is left hurting, rejected, replaced, betrayed, and deceived.

Most men and women who are sexually potent but masturbate suffer a form of sexual impotence towards their partner. This sexual impotence is a situation where they have increasing difficulty getting aroused by their partner. They believe they give themselves better pleasure than any other person does. Giving up on sex with your partner because of self-sex means it is time to consider seeing a sex therapist.

You can overcome masturbation because the human brain is neuro plastic, meaning it is moldable and changeable. Behaviours can be learned and unlearned and replaced with healthier ones. Individuals can get to a place they are able to enjoy healthy sexual intimacy in a long-term committed relationship.

Make an earnest resolution to overcome masturbation. Remind yourself always that you will not die if you don’t self-sex. Learn to not isolate yourself from people and when in the midst of people be very present minded.

If you are addicted to masturbation, avoid pornography or whatever thoughts that arouses such desires that will ultimately lead to self sex.

When it comes to having sex with your partner, be mentally and psychologically present, encourage him or her on how to help you enjoy sex better with them.

Be prayerful if you believe in the efficacy of prayers. Talk to a psychotherapist for professional guidance. Always remember you are in charge of your mind. You can stop masturbvating if you desire.


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1 Comment

  1. Peter Okeke 9th July 2017 at 2:05 pm

    Beautiful, therapeutic and thought provoking writeup.

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Online Editor: Aderonke Bello
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